Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

From the moment her back hit the ceramic, Riza knew there were going to be problems. Before the sickening popping sound, before her own cry of pain, before Roy’s half-panicked yelp as he barely caught himself from falling on top of her… before all of that, she knew things were about to take a bad turn.

Up until then, things had been going exactly the opposite direction. She had been laughing, his hands skating smoothly over her skin, the warm water of the shower raining down on both of them and filling the bathroom with steam. His mouth had been hot on hers, their bodies pressed together… and in shifting to press even closer against him, her foot had slipped on the slick surface of the tub, and she had gone down.

She lay there a moment, her right hand clamped to her throbbing left shoulder, warm water still pattering down on the parts of her not covered by Roy’s precariously suspended body. He stood with both hands braced on the tile wall, dark eyes wide as he stared down at her.

“…Are you okay?”

She almost replied “Yes,” out of sheer instinct… then hesitated before shaking her head. “Something’s wrong…. My shoulder won’t move… everything’s either in pain or just… tingling….”

“Shit…. Okay. Uh….” Getting himself standing straight, he turned off the water, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist. “Can you stand?”

Claws clicked on the floor as Hayate came trotting into the bathroom through the partially open door, in response to all the noise, no doubt. He froze, his eyes darting from Riza to Roy and back again… before he turned on his heels and ran off through the apartment, barking.

Riza grimaced, half from the pain and half from the realization of what was happening. “Oh no….” She let her head thud back against the side of the tub. “No, no, no….”

“Ssshh, it’s okay,” Roy soothed, bending close. “Here, give me your good hand.”

“You need to go.”

“…What?” He blinked, staring at her. The barking continued in the other room, ignored. “No! I need to get you to a hospital!”

“Listen to me!” Her eyes were angry for only an instant, enough to catch his attention, and to impart just how serious she was. “My neighbours and I have an agreement. If they ever hear Hayate barking like that, they have instructions to call the office and send someone - you, or one of the others - to come check on me.” Her hand left her shoulder, rising to grip his wrist. The skin around the joint was already an angry red, already beginning to swell. “Right now, at least two people are dialling your office, and within half an hour, one of the men is going to be on my doorstep, and you can’t be here when he is.”

She could see the indecision in his face, read it in the way his eyes darted from her to the bathroom door, and back again. “Riza, I can’t just –”

“You’re going to have to.” She gave his arm a sympathetic squeeze, then let go. “I promise you, I’ll be fine. This is exactly the sort of situation this system was set up for. I just never expected you would be involved.”

After another moment of wrestling with his admittedly short options, he glanced around the clothes strewn on the floor before reluctantly reached for the pants he had left abandoned. “…Okay, fine. Fine. How do I get out of here without raising suspicion?”

“Fire escape. Head up to the roof, cross to the building next door and go down to the ground floor from there.” Not without struggle, she managed to sit up, her hand clamping to her shoulder again. The throb was deepening, spreading from the joint to the muscle, radiating down and across her back. “They’ll expect you to be at home on a day off, so you’d better get there quickly. They’re going to call you when they figure out something is up, and they won’t stop until they get a hold of you.”

“Right.” Shrugging into his shirt, he eyed her, still clearly worried. “How is whoever comes to check on you going to get in?”

“Whoever calls in Hayate’s alarm bark has instructions to call the superintendent too. And he has instructions not to enter until someone from the office gets here.” She smiled somewhat ruefully. “Given the nature of our work… I didn’t want him walking in on an armed intruder… or worse.”

“Worse being you and a superior officer, both with your pants literally down?” The joke was half-hearted at best, but at least it was an attempt at humour. Reaching up, he snagged her bathrobe off the back of the door, and draped it over her shoulders. “No reason for whoever comes to see more than they need to,” he murmured. “…You really want me to go? I’m sure I can come up with some reason why –”

She was already shaking her head. “I don’t want you to, but you have to. You can’t be caught here, I can’t be caught with you here….” Her palm pressed to his cheek, and smiled. “It’s all right. I’ll be fine. I just have to wait.”

“Okay.” Breathing a sigh, he leaned forward and kissed her carefully, in case the action might somehow cause further pain. “Call me the minute you can, all right? Let me know what’s going on.”

“I will.”

Leaning back in the tub again, since sitting up was doing her no favours, she listened as he quietly hushed Hayate, retrieved his shoes, and then came the telltale sounds of a window being opened and closed, and the fading sounds of feet on metal as he climbed the fire escape… and he was gone.

She tugged the bathrobe into a more-or-less decent position, ensuring no exposure of either tattoo or other, even more personal areas, and settled in to wait. Hayate trotted back into the bathroom, tail up and wagging in self-satisfaction at having successfully discharged his guard dog duties, and planted himself beside the tub.

“Good boy,” she murmured, scratching behind his ears with her good hand. “Won’t be long, now….”

-----

The office was silent, aside from the sounds of four people at work. Hawkeye might be the one that usually kept the others motivated, but she had a tendency to call in and check on them on days off, and no one wanted to be shirking when she did.

She always knew. Somehow, she always knew.

Thus, when the phone rang, it wasn’t entirely a surprise. Getting to his feet, Havoc flashed a grin at Breda, along with a roll of his eyes. “We’re sure the only one she babysits is the Colonel?”

“Has yet to be scientifically proven, but it’s possible,” the other man answered.

Havoc crossed to Roy’s desk and leaned back against the edge of it, scooping the receiver from the cradle. “Colonel Mustang’s office, Second Lieutenant Havoc speaking.”

“… Pardon me, but… is this the office First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye works in?”

“It is. She’s not in today, though.” Reaching behind him, he felt for the pen and pad of scrap paper kept there. “Can I take a message?”

“Actually, I believe I have one I’m supposed to give to you.” The voice on the other end was female, and definitely elderly… with no small amount of nervousness. “You see… I’m Miss Hawkeye’s neighbour, and um…. I think there’s some sort of… problem.”

Frowning deeply, Havoc stilled, listening intently. Something was… not necessarily wrong, here, but neither was everything all right. “Okay…? What kind of problem?”

“Well, she has that little dog? Black Hayate? He’s normally such a sweet, quiet thing, but….” There was a brief moment of hesitation. “Goodness, I’m not even sure I ought to be calling, but… she told me several months ago, that if I ever heard him barking his little head off, I ought to call Colonel Mustang’s office and… let him know.”

A quiet alarm started going off in the back of Havoc’s mind, and he felt the muscles across his back and shoulders tensing. Across the room, Fuery had looked up the moment Havoc said the word ‘problem,’ and was watching intently. “And is Hayate barking now?”

“Not this moment, but he was a few minutes ago. Poor thing sounded like something really had him going.” There was another short hesitation. “Lieutenant Havoc, was it? Could I ask you to let Colonel Mustang know? I think Lieutenant Hawkeye ought to be checked on.”

Fuery was still watching, and Havoc pointed to the small black book on his desk that held their team's personal contact information; the young man hurried to retrieve it. “Sure, I can do that. Thanks for letting me know.”

Fuery handed him the book with a look of concern as Havoc hung up the phone. “What’s going on?”

Flipping through the pages, Havoc shook his head. “I’m not sure…. That was one of Hawkeye’s neighbours; she said Hayate was barking a lot, thought there might be a problem?”

He looked up in time to see Fuery’s eyes widen. “…That’s something she and I were working on with him. She figured that he’s got guard dog tendencies anyway, she’d try and train him to react to certain situations.”

“Situations like what?”

He shrugged uneasily. “Well… with the kind of work we do, there’s the possibility of someone looking for revenge or something, or if there was a burglar, or if she were hurt….”

“If there’s a burglar that breaks into Hawkeye’s place, I’m more worried for the burglar,” Havoc said dryly, reaching for the phone. He dialled Hawkeye’s number, listening to it ring… and again… and again….

Dropping the receiver back into the cradle, he stood straight. “No answer….” He stood for a moment, thinking, then started for the door. “One of you call the boss, let him know what’s going on. I’ll go check on Hawkeye; have him meet me there, if he wants to.”

“Make sure you check in from the Lieutenant’s place,” Breda called after him. “He’s going to want to know what’s going on if he can’t get over there himself.”

Havoc was already mostly out the door as he muttered, “When it comes to Hawkeye, Central could be burning down around him and he’d still get there.”

Chapter Text

She had managed to sit a little more upright by the time the first knock sounded from the apartment’s front door. The sudden noise gave her a slight start, and she grimaced as the motion sent a fresh flare of pain through her shoulder. Gritting her teeth, she leaned her head back against the tiled wall beside the tub, letting out a hissed exhale. On the floor beside her, Hayate shot to a sitting position from his place on the floor, alert.

Faintly, muffled through her front door, came a familiar voice. “Lieutenant? It’s Havoc. You home?”

Taking a deep breath, praying the bathroom acoustics would help her be heard, she called, “Code Two-Zero!”

Officer down.

Her shout started Hayate off barking again, and he darted off into the main room of the apartment, but not before she heard Havoc curse loudly in the hall outside. A moment later, there was a heavy thud… a second one…. Hayate’s bark changed, from greeting a voice he recognized to threatening the person trying to force their way into his territory.

Riza forced herself to lean forward, a tiny groan involuntarily escaping her throat. Her hand clamped tighter on her shoulder. “Hayate!” she called, her tone a sharp bark in its own way. “Stand down!”

He fell silent, in the same moment as, with a final thud and a splintering crack, the front door burst open.

Heavy footsteps came to a stop inside the apartment, before Havoc’s voice came, suspicious and concerned. “…Lieutenant?”

“In here.”

Footsteps again, and then Havoc was in the bathroom, handgun drawn but his finger not on the trigger. Blue eyes were wide, but hard and focussed… and abruptly confused as he looked down and spotted her in the bathtub. He faltered, lowering the gun.

“…Lieutenant, what…?” He shifted to stand straight, out of the combat-ready stance. “Are you okay?”

Her gaze turned toward the main room. “Did you break down the door? The superintendent is supposed to meet you with a key in a case like this….”

“There was nobody in the hall except me; no one at the front door either,” he answered, only slightly guiltily. “I’m sure if you asked the Colonel, he could fix it for you.” He gave her a cursory once-over, his expression still tinged with concern. “Though if you’ll pardon me saying so… maybe it’s better that I got in faster on my own. Looks like you could use some help.”

Her smile was forced and they both knew it. “Sorry to call you out here…. I must make quite the sight.”

It was an understatement. She was still mostly wet, draped in a now-damp bathrobe that only just granted her her modesty, let alone kept her tattoo covered. From the clammy feel of her skin, she knew she was going through some form of shock or another, meaning her face was likely pale, and although she couldn’t see it to confirm it, she knew her left shoulder was very visibly out of joint.

Holstering the gun in his hand, Havoc went to one knee beside the tub, bringing him onto eye level with her. Hayate, having followed him in from the main room, immediately followed suit, watching the two humans closely. “What happened?”

“I slipped and fell,” she answered. If not for the pain, she would have shrugged. “I hit my shoulder off the edge as I did, and… well….” She watched as his head tilted to the side for a better look. “I think it’s safe to say I dislocated it.”

“…May I?” At her nod, he reached out, probing gingerly around the top of the joint with his fingertips. The top of her arm moved just slightly, in a way that wasn’t entirely natural, and prompted her to bite down on her lower lip in time with a stifled groan. Hayate whined, popping up to place his front paws on the edge of the tub, delivering an anxious lick to his mistress’s face.

“Sorry.” Havoc dropped his hand away. “Okay. You’re definitely going to need a hospital, but first things first; can you stand?”

“I’m going to have to try, aren’t I.”

He got to his feet, standing bent with one hand braced on the side of the tub. Reluctantly letting go of her injured shoulder and using her next-to useless arm to pin the bathrobe closed, she grasped his wrist firmly with her good hand, feeling the steadying clamp of his fingers around her own arm.

“On three,” he said. “One… two… three.”

He hauled her upright, and grimaced at the same time as the motion pulled at the muscles across her shoulders, eliciting another groan from behind gritted teeth. She saw the quick movement as he half-turned to face the same direction as her, slipping his wrist from her hand but keeping hers supported. One arm looped around her waist, taking her weight. “Okay, next step: out of there before you slip and dislocate the other shoulder. One foot, then the other.”

It was in the back of her mind as she stepped gingerly onto the bathmat that the last time they had been this personally close, had any kind of physical proximity on this level, was right after Havoc and Roy had argued in the hospital, right after the revelation about the loss of Havoc’s mobility. His closeness didn’t send the same feeling of cold electric fire through her that Roy’s touch did, but there was comfort in it, this thing that was a hug but also not a hug. It was a mix of camaraderie and concern that she found… calming.

Her legs felt a little bit shaky at first, after having been seated uncomfortably for so long, but her steps were sure as she gently disengaged herself from him. Havoc kept one hand on her good shoulder, eyes watching her feet for any stumble or uncertainty. “That’s the really hard part. Sorry if I jostled anything.”

“No harm done. At least, not anything I didn’t do myself.” Standing as straight as she was able, she stepped out of the bathroom into the apartment’s main living space. “Let me find something other than a bathrobe to wear, and then –”

She somehow managed to keep walking, but her words faltered as, ahead of her on the floor by the bed, she caught sight of a pair of plain black boxer shorts that looked horrifically similar to the ones Roy had been wearing earlier. Her mind raced, trying to remember if she had seen him put the boxers on in his hurried dressing prior to his escape…. No. No, there had only been pants. How had these gotten here?!

The answer went trotting past her toward the closet, his tongue lolling in a doggie grin. Hayate stopped beside the bed, dropping first to a seat, then to his belly on top of the underwear he had clearly pilfered from the bathroom while their owner was distracted.

At least he’s hiding it, Riza thought, somewhat wearily. It’d be so much waste if I rushed him out of here only for the two of us to get caught anyway. Havoc might not particularly care, but secrets held by three people tend not to stay secret on a permanent basis….

“Then, hospital?” Havoc clarified, and it took her a moment to realize he was finishing her sentence from a moment ago.

“Yes.” She nodded toward the phone resting on the kitchen table. “While you’re waiting, why don’t you check in with the office? I’m sure the others will want to be updated, and then they can pass the information on to the Colonel.”

“Wouldn’t put it past him to show up at the hospital,” Havoc murmured, half-joking.

Her back was to the door as she searched the closet for a shirt that would be easy to put on with one arm out of commission, Havoc already talking into the telephone, when from the hallway came a “Miss Hawkeye? I only just got Mrs. Westheimer’s message about your dog sending up an alarm, I –“

She glanced back in time to see the superintendent standing dumbfounded in the splintered doorway of the apartment, her spare key uselessly in his hand and his suspicious gaze on Havoc, who was currently muttering “…Hang on a second, Fuery….”

The superintendent's gaze flicked from Havoc to her, and back again. “Sorry again about the delay, Miss. Are you okay? Is this guy bothering you?”

“No, Mr. Robertson, it’s all right.” She smiled, hoping the expression was reassuring and knowing it probably didn’t come close. “This is Second Lieutenant Havoc, from my office. I had a bit of an… accident; that’s what set Hayate off. He’s just here to help.”

The man nodded, his eyes still wary. “Oh. Sure.” Finally, his gaze turned back to her, taking in the hand clamped to her shoulder, and the bathrobe wrapped around her… and promptly averting his eyes again. “If everything is under control, Miss, I’ll let Mrs. Westheimer know what’s going on, and… well, let me know if you need any other help.”

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.”

Robertson cast one last suspicious look at Havoc, then turned and moved off down the hall. “Sorry about that,” Riza apologized, resuming her careful one-handed rummage through the dresser against the wall. “He can be a little… security-conscious.”

Havoc flashed a fast smile, and she turned her attention back to trying to find clothes that would allow her put them on with one arm. A button-down was the obvious answer, but it left the question of what to do with it once she got to the hospital. Taking it off for examination or treatment would be out of the question; she couldn’t let the tattoo be seen.

The realization hit with cold certainty. She couldn’t go to the hospital with this. An injury like this, they would require her to remove any shirt she chose, they would see the tattoo, they would ask questions… find out it wasn’t noted in her file…. Neither could she go without treatment; this wasn’t going to simply fix itself. Havoc certainly didn’t know how to set a dislocated shoulder. No one on the team did, not that she would allow any of them to see her back, either. Armstrong knew how, but she was loath to ask him for the same reason.

Across the room came the click of the telephone hanging up. “Hey, Hawkeye?” Havoc called. “Fuery says they managed to get hold of the Colonel, and he said he’d meet you wherever you want to go to get that looked at, we just have to call and let him know where.”

And maybe he’ll also have an idea….

“All right; better let me be the one to call him,” she said, careful to keep her tone light to hide her own racing mind. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hayate get up and go trotting across toward the table. “Knowing him, if he doesn’t hear from me directly, he’s liable to think the worst.”

“Surprised he didn’t call here the second Fuery let him know,” Havoc muttered, sitting down at the table and reaching out to scratch behind Hayate’s ears. Distracted as he was, he didn’t see the smooth, swift motion of her foot as she discreetly kicked Roy’s boxers out of sight under the bed.

Choosing a button-down and a pair of pants without much more consideration, Riza shut herself once again in the bathroom… and in pulling the bathrobe from herself, she finally got a good look at her injured shoulder in the mirror. What should have been a smooth, rounded curve now held an almost squared-off edge from the displaced joint… and Riza turned her back on the mirror before the uneasy flip of her stomach could turn into an addition to her ailments.

Getting dressed was a new challenge. The underwear and pants went on somewhat easily, but even the short sleeves of the shirt presented a challenge. In the end, Riza gritted her teeth, forcing herself past the discomfort of letting her bad arm dangle, and slid the sleeve on over it, pulling the shirt behind and around to where she could shrug her other arm into it.

“Definitely getting a non-slip mat for the shower,” she muttered, turning her focus to grappling with the small buttons on the shirtfront.

When she finally made it to the phone, it was already ringing, and she had a sneaking suspicion she knew who was on the other end. From the way Havoc very visibly clamped down on a knowing grin, so did he.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted the receiver and tucked it against her ear. “I was under the impression I was supposed to call you, sir, not the other way around.”

“I got bored with waiting.” His voice under careful control, but she could still hear the current of low-level anxiety running underneath it. “That being said… how are you? Does it hurt much?“

“It’s a dislocated shoulder, but it could have been worse,” she explained, needlessly telling him the injury in order to keep up the façade that he had never been present. “It’s holding steady at a dull roar,” she added, resisting the urge to reach up and touch the distended joint. “But the more immediate problem is going to be where I go to get it dealt with.”

There was a brief pause, before his voice sounded again, mildly suspicious but moreso confused. “…I would think the logical answer would be the hos–” He broke off, the same thought as had occurred to her most likely now striking him. “…Then again….“

“Exactly.” She shifted from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the way Havoc’s head came up, watching her closely. “If I go to any military-held hospital – or even one that isn’t – it’s going to end up in my record, and it’ll lead to me being kept to modified duty for the next few weeks. And didn’t you say that there was something next week you would need my help with?”

There wasn’t any such ‘something,’ but it was a plausible enough lie. Roy caught on quickly, his tone turning thoughtful. “Yes, I believe you’re right…. And we can’t exactly reschedule that exercise next week or hold it without you….” He was quiet for a beat, then, “I don’t think you’re out of options, though. There’s an old friend who might be willing to help you, if we can catch him while he’s in a good mood.“

“If I can catch him,” she corrected, knowing he was not going to like what was about to come out of her mouth. “I was hoping, sir, I could impose on you for a small favour.”

Suspicious silence was her only answer for a moment, followed by an equally suspicious, “…Okay…?“

“The superintendent wasn’t able to meet Havoc in order to let him in, so he ended up breaking my door down. I was hoping I could ask you to come by and fix it while I’m out. I think Mr. Robertson would prefer alchemical repairs to replacing the entire door.” She glanced down and to the side to where her dog was receiving what appeared to be the greatest belly rub of his life. “And I can’t exactly leave Hayate in an apartment with no door. I’ll ask Mrs. Westheimer to take him for now, but she can’t keep up with him for long.”

“All right, if you’re sure that’s what you want to do.” He sounded reluctant… but still acknowledging this as her decision. “Do you want me to pick you up from Knox’s after I’m done at your place?“

“No, that’s all right. Havoc can drop me off before he heads back to the office.” She cast a questioning glance at the blond man as she spoke, and he responded with a nod and a thumbs-up. She paused only a breath before adding. “I should get going. Thank you for your help, sir; I’m sorry to trouble you on your day off.”

The quiet, reassuring laugh on the other end send a pleasurable shiver through her, one that she clamped down on to keep it from showing outwardly. “The things I do for my people….” he said in mock-exasperation. “Take care, Hawkeye; I’ll see you when you get back, when I can get a better explanation of things.“

“Of course. I’ll see you then.”

Chapter Text

She watched as Havoc rang the doorbell, the muted chime sounding from deep within the house. Seconds ticked by, the only sound being traffic on the street at their backs, or birds chirping in the lone tree in the front yard.

“What’s the project the Boss needs you for next week?” Havoc asked, tucking both hands into his pockets. “Sounded important when you were talking about it on the phone.”

She should have guessed he might ask, since it might pertain to him as well…. What to tell him…. “Word came down from Hakuro’s office that we might all need to redo our weapons requalifications,” she said, after a moment. “Between your retirement and then unretirement, Breda and Fuery’s desertion charges, and the Colonel’s and my very public involvement on the Promised Day, I suppose they want to make sure we’re not a set of loose cannons waiting to go off.”

He nodded, offering a small shrug. “Fair enough. Hakuro was always the paranoid type.”

Footsteps thudded closer on the other side of the door, before the wooden panel opened slightly. “Yeah, who –” As soon as he saw who was standing on his doorstep, Knox opened the door wider. “Whatever Mustang wants, you can tell him to forget it,” he snapped. “I’m a full civilian; he can’t go pulling me back into military crap any time the fancy takes him!”

“Whoa, easy, Doc.” Havoc raised both hands slightly, a ‘don’t shoot’ gesture in the face of the verbal barrage. “We’re not here for the Colonel, but we do need some help. We thought you might –”

“That’s the only reason anybody from your team shows up here,” the old man gruffed. He waved a vague hand at Riza’s shoulder. “Just what did you do to yourself, Lieutenant?”

“A simple slip and fall, sir, with an unfortunate consequence.” Riza met his gaze levelly, trying to convey meaning through eye contact alone while simultaneously not letting Havoc know something was up. “I was hoping you might be willing to help me, so that I can avoid the hospitals and their penchant for –“ Her eyes darted away from him as she spoke, down toward her injured shoulder… and what he knew to be on the back of it. “– keeping track of everything.”

It was clear, to her at least, that he caught her meaning. There was a brief struggle in Knox’s expression, probably whether to adhere to the tenets of his profession or slam the door in their faces… and after a moment and a heavy sigh, he stepped aside and waved them in. “All right, but tell that young punk you call a boss that this is the last free favour I do for him. Next time, I’ll expect a recompense.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” she answered solemnly. They followed the doctor down a short hall and around a corner into a kitchen… and Riza tried not to focus too much on the fact that the house looked much tidier, brighter, and cleaner than when she and Roy had dropped the Xingese prince’s injured bodyguard here. That had been just before going to Central Command for the fateful meeting that had lead to their forced separation….

Pulling a chair out from the table, Knox waved a hand toward it, the other reaching for his pack of cigarettes on the table. “Go ahead and sit down, Lieutenant. Let’s take a look at what we’re dealing with.” Glancing back toward Havoc, he tilted his head back the way they had come. “If you don’t mind?”

“Oh. Sure.” Blue eyes watched for a moment as Riza settled cautiously to a straddled seat, facing the back of the chair. “I’ll wait for you by the front door, sir. Okay?”

“Go ahead.”

Knox was already bending close as Havoc’s footsteps retreated down the hall, freshly lit cigarette held between his fingers as he inhaled off of it and his eyes closely scrutinizing the way her shoulder rode out of socket. “…Seems relatively straightforward…. Slip and fall, you said?”

“Yes, sir. In the shower, about an hour and a half ago.” She looked up, trying not to let the smoke tickle her nose too much. She strongly suspected that a sneeze now would introduce her to a new level of pain. “Do you think it’ll need surgery to fix?”

Knox stood tall, taking another deep, thoughtful drag off the cigarette… then shook his head. “No, nothing so drastic. Once it’s set, I can give you a sling and instructions on how to bind it to keep the joint immobilized while it heals.” The look he gave her was stern. “You should only need the sling for a few days, but you’d be wise to baby that shoulder for at least three months.”

The amount of time was a surprise, but she only nodded. “Let’s not delay it any longer, then.”

At Knox’s instruction, and with his help, she eased out of the button-down, keeping it held to her chest to preserve at least some modesty. The doctor held her bad arm carefully, almost gingerly, manipulating it one direction and then another, gauging her range of motion. Riza bit her lip as each motion sent a new zing of pain through the distressed shoulder joint, but was careful to keep a lid on the groan that wanted to escape; her personal pride had already been sacrificed in this whole situation, but the thought of being audibly in pain with Havoc within earshot was somehow still mortifying.

“All right, here we go,” Knox murmured, the words somewhat muffled around the cigarette. “Sorry I don’t have any pain reliever on hand, but this should be quick. Sit up straight.” He waited as she settled into an upright position, then tucked her elbow against her side. “Deep breath, and try to relax. Easier said than done, I know, but try anyway.”

The part of her mind not hyperfocussed on what he was doing took note of his voice. It was a tone she wasn’t used to hearing or even expected from the gruff, grizzled doctor: it was quiet, but a shade too businesslike to be considered ‘soft.’ The phrase ‘bedside manner’ floated through her mind a split second before the pain flared, hot and bright, in her shoulder as he kept her elbow tucked against her side and began rotating her wrist outward, her elbow bent at a perfect ninety degrees.

She hissed a strangled inhale, clutching the shirt tighter against her chest as the movement stopped. “All right, all right,” Knox murmured, again in that strange, nearly-soft tone. “Keep those deep breaths going, girl. Try and relax your arm muscles; you’re not doing yourself any good, tensing them all up like that.”

The deep breath wasn’t very deep at all, and came with a tremor. Consciously, Riza worked to unclench the muscles from the bicep on down… and that immediately became more difficult as more pain lanced up the side of her back as the slow twist resumed. She hissed again as she breathed in, trying to remind herself to exhale. The first keen edge of panic slid into her mind, causing the air to stick in her lungs.

“Breathe, Lieutenant, come on.” Knox didn’t look up, still focussed on his work. “Either you start breathing, or I send you to a proper hospital.”

Riza forced the exhale, this time unable and uncaring to stop the gritted-teeth groan that went with it. Happy thoughts, she told herself, the words sounding absurd in the face of a painful off-the-books medical treatment… but images came stealing into her imagination anyway. She felt again the warm water and teasing, trailing fingers on her skin, that confident grin mere inches away, dark eyes wandering the curves of her body in a combination of admiration and want –

The pressure on her arm was easing, but the joint had yet to pop back into place. Knox hmm’d under his breath, easing her arm back against her side. “You might be turning to much with the motion; I’m not getting the pressure I need to pop it back.” He was quiet a moment. “I hate to say it, Lieutenant, but I need another pair of hands.”

Her heart sank, knowing what he was suggesting. Havoc could help fix the dislocation, but it would mean running the risk – no. It would mean he saw the tattoo.

He would know.

Looking up and back, she found Knox expressionless, waiting for her answer. “…We can’t cover it effectively, can we.” It was a statement, instead of a question; a verbal confirmation of the fact she knew to be true.

“I don’t think we can. Not without running the risk that whatever covers it will slip and he’ll see it anyway.” He hesitated, before adding. “If you want to chance calling in Mustang and waiting for him, that’s your choice. But it’s my medical opinion that we get this done now.”

Facing forward again, she took a deep breath, trying to slow the rapid flow of thoughts. Should she chance it and wait? Roy could be anywhere from ten minutes to twenty in arriving, and if the medical opinion was immediate treatment…. What would Havoc say? What would he think? The zooming thoughts settled slightly, the first bit of clarity peeking through.

The choice to show or hide the tattoo had always been hers; it had been hers from minute one, day one. Those had been her father’s exact words, along with the insistence she only show it to someone who could be trusted not to misuse its secrets. She had chosen to show it to Roy, because she had trusted him.

Sitting a little bit straighter, double-checking that her shirt still afforded her her modesty from the front, she nodded once, decisively. “I think it’s time he knew.” She took another deep breath before adding, “He can be trusted.”

Knox left the room without a word, his footsteps moving off down the short hall. There was a half-heard murmur of exchanged voices, before a double set of footsteps returned. Riza held still, listening… and was not surprised to hear one pair of footsteps stop while the other continued toward her. When she looked his way, Havoc was staring, his jaw locked and blue eyes wide.

She said nothing, waiting. Finally, he blinked, gave a minute shake of his head, and got himself in motion once again, crossing to crouch in front of her.

“Heard you needed some extra help?”

In the space of the next few minutes, as he braced her good shoulder to stop her from instinctively turning as Knox set the other, Riza distracted herself from the sharp flare of pain by trying to figure out exactly what she was going to tell him.

Chapter Text

So far, since leaving Knox’s, the car had been completely silent. The single sidelong glance Riza had given Havoc showed him frowning… but it seemed to be out of thought. It wasn’t unanticipated; she had fully expected him to keep whatever questions he had to himself, trying to puzzle out his own answers without asking her. It was admirable, really.

It was also dangerous. Coming to his own conclusions without all the facts would make those conclusions almost certainly false, and if he happened to try and find out if any of the others knew her secret….

Quietly, so as not to startle him by breaking the silence, she said, “Cenz for your thoughts?”

When she looked over, his cheeks were rapidly flushing bright red. “No, it’s… I’m okay, sir. I just… uh –”

“You just have about twenty different questions in mind and you didn’t want to start asking them without permission,” she observed. “I wish you would though, because driving distracted is a fast track to an accident, and after all the trouble I went to in order to avoid a hospital today….”

She trailed off, giving him another look. “What’s the first question that comes to mind?”

Havoc ducked his head just slightly, self-consciously, but kept his eyes on the road. “…About the only one I can put into words right now is…. Well….” He gave a nervous half-laugh. “Pardon my language, sir, but what the hell?!”

That drew a small, half-laugh of her own, followed almost immediately by a wince as the expression shook her still-tender shoulder. “That’s as good a question to start with as any.”

His humour faded slowly, but the silence this time was much shorter before he spoke again. “The centre of it…. The Flame alchemy transmutation circle…. With it as part of the design, is it … out of admiration, or…?”

“Oh.” Riza blinked once in surprise at the question, feeling more than a little thrown. “…I hadn’t considered that it could be seen that way. No, it isn’t anything like that.” She paused, considering her words before starting again. “You’re familiar with the concept of alchemists encoding their research: the Colonel writes his like a datebook, Edward has his like a travelogue, Marcoh had his as recipes… this is just another form of encoding.”

The thoughtful frown was evident in his tone; she didn’t have to look over to know it was there. “So… it’s someone else’s?”

“It is.” She smiled faintly. “The Colonel is a self-made man in many respects… except one. As a State Alchemist, he is what I gave him the ability to be.”

To Havoc’s credit, he got her meaning quickly. His hands clenched on the steering wheel as the realization hit, and Riza glanced over to see the knuckles go white. A moment later, he said, “…The tattoo… is a code for the Colonel’s alchemy.”

“Yes.” It still felt slightly sacrilegious to admit it out loud, but she pressed on. “The code was entrusted to me, and I entrusted it to him.”

“Oh.” The single syllable fell flat into the silence that followed it. Riza let it linger, allowing Havoc to process the information in his own time. “I guess… if the Colonel didn’t develop Flame alchemy himself… who did? And how did you wind up with the notes for it?” A pause, and then, “Wait, hang on. If you’re going to tell me that all this time you’ve been some secret alchemical genius –”

Riza bit down firmly on her lip, turning her face toward the window in an effort to hide how hard she was trying not to laugh. When she could finally get a steady breath, she said, “I’m not. I had the opportunity to learn, but it was never something that interested me.” The momentary laugh faded a little before she added, “Alchemical apprentices study under a master alchemist… and even independent Lieutenants who never talk about family had one once upon a time.”

She knew the words were cryptic, but that was the trouble with finally revealing secrets that had been kept for years: even though Havoc knew about the tattoo now, explaining it and its origins was still difficult.

“Wait, so… The Colonel and your… dad? Was your father his alchemy teacher?” Her nod drew a low whistle from the sandy-blond man. “Wow…. I–” He faltered briefly, before starting again. “The guys and I knew you two went way back, but we never thought…. We always thought it only went as far as Ishval.” He blew out a breath, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw his bangs flutter as the air caught them. “You’re more complicated than I thought, sir, and I mean that as a compliment.”

“Then I’ll take it as one.” She shifted slightly as a faint ache of discomfort made itself felt in her immobilized shoulder, settling more comfortably against the seat back. “What’s your next question?”

Havoc had hesitated before, but now he seemed almost reluctant, his hands tightening almost imperceptibly on the wheel. The tip of his tongue appeared, wetting lips that were no doubt suddenly dry. Riza said nothing, letting him either take the question in his own time, or drop it.

“Seems to me I’ve seen scars like yours before,” he said at last. “Usually any time I look down while getting dressed in the morning.” He briefly glanced at her before turning his eyes back to the road. “Why do I get the feeling they come from the same source?”

“Because they do,” she answered simply. “But there’s some context you’re missing as to why I have them.”

His voice had turned uncharacteristically serious. “Then I hope you share that context, sir, because from where I’m sitting, it looks like my boss attacked the person who, to hear him tell it, he specifically handpicked as a bodyguard.” He glanced her way again. “That comes across just a little alarming to me.”

The level of loyalty interwoven among their team was so quietly strong, so rarely needed to be voiced, that it still surprised her sometimes. “It wasn’t an attack,” she assured him. “If anything, he would have very much preferred not to do it, and only went along with it at my insistence.”

Havoc stared blankly out the windshield for a moment… then shook his head as he pulled toward the curb. “Okay, hang on. I’m gonna crash the damn car if you keep dropping bombshells like this, sir.” He eased into an open space, parked, and killed the engine before shifting in the driver’s seat to face her. “Okay. Sorry, run that by me again?”

She offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I’m not used to having to explain this….” Shifting carefully to mirror his posture, Riza leaned back against the door. “You know the tattoo is the encoded information needed to understand Flame alchemy. You know that I’ve gone to great lengths to keep it secret. And you also know just what the Colonel is capable of when he uses it.”

She gave him a sober, meaningful look. “Now, imagine that kind of power in the wrong hands.”

Havoc’s jaw clenched, just slightly. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes steady on her, before he spoke. “You didn’t just entrust it to him.” His voice was soft in the silent vehicle. “You had to trust him with it. Like what if the power went to his head? He’d flatten a city block inside of two minutes!”

Riza took a steadying breath. “Which brings me to something else I have to share with you.” She kept her gaze hard and locked on his. “Like everything else I’ve shared so far today, this stays between you, myself, and the Colonel. This cannot be shared with the others. I’m telling you because you found out by accident, and because explaining fully will help maintain the trust we’ve built the last several years.” She shook her head. “That’s not to say I don’t trust the rest of the men, but just that this is very much need-to-know information, and for the foreseeable future –”

“They don’t need to know.” Havoc was nodding, finishing her sentence before she had to. “I get it. And, if I may say so, I’m… honoured, I guess, that you’d make the decision to tell me, even if only because you had to.” He raised his right hand, smiling lopsidedly. “I solemnly swear that your secrets are safe with me, and if I ever break that promise, that you have full license to kick my ass.” A second’s pause, and then he added, “Sir.”

She couldn’t help but smile, despite the steady ache in her shoulder. “I think we can drop the formalities; this is a strange enough situation without throwing propriety into it.”

“Sure, if that’s what you’re comfortable with.”

Riza nodded, then picked up the story again. “The Colonel and I have a fail-safe system, of sorts, to prevent anyone else other than him from ever knowing how Flame alchemy works or how to use it. It started off by making sure that the secrets I carried couldn’t be shared by someone else deciphering the tattoo.”

“The burn scars,” Havoc interjected, understanding dawning in those blue eyes along with what looked to be cold shock. “The scars erased sections of the tattoo….”

“Sections that were needed to understand how the alchemy works,” she finished. “Without those pieces, any other information that might be decoded is next thing to useless.”

Havoc nodded absently, his eyes tracking out the front windshield again as he processed what he had been told. Riza waited, knowing this still wasn’t over. Finally, he looked back to her. “So what if the Colonel did let it all go to his head? Or if he took on an apprentice of his own and shared the secret with them?”

“In that case, I would kill him.”

There was a brief moment where his mouth twitched into an approximation of a smile as he no doubt mistook the words as a joke, as hyperbole. A longer, more terrible moment followed almost immediately, the smile dropping away into an open-mouthed stare as he realized just how serious she was.

“I’m the fail-safe,” she clarified. “It’s been that way since he first told me he wanted me for an assistant. I’d be there to run the office, protect him against all the enemies a State Alchemist garners, and, if the day ever came where he –” She stopped short of using the word ‘snapped.’ “–became a liability…. He gave me a standing order to remove him as a threat. By any means necessary.”

It was the biggest bombshell yet, as she had known it would be, so she wasn’t surprised when all he did was stare. Ten seconds… fifteen…. Concern began trickling in as twenty seconds crept closer without him doing much more than blinking and breathing.

“…Are you okay?”

Another blink, and this time, he seemed to emerge from whatever stupor she had shocked him into. “Yeah, I–” One hand raked back through his hair as he blew out a breath. “Wow. No wonder you take your job so seriously.”

The joke was half-hearted, but she smiled anyway. “I’m sorry to drop that on you, but it’s part of all the rest of it. If it’s any consolation, I think that’s probably the worst of it.”

“The worst of it….” he repeated, still sounding a little dazed. “I…. I can’t believe the two of you have kept all this to yourselves for so long…. I mean, I get why, but this is a lot for both of you to carry, you know?”

“I’m all too aware.” She was watching him closely now, gauging his reaction, watching how he processed the information. “You’ve kept secrets before, but nothing quite like this. If you think it’s going to be a problem for you, I’d rather you tell me now, so that both the Colonel and I can try and talk you through it.”

Havoc shook his head. “No, no… I’m okay. It just takes a minute to really wrap your head around it all.” He flashed a smile. “Besides, it has to feel a little lighter for you to finally share it, right? ‘A burden shared is a burden lightened,’ or something like that.”

For a moment, she wasn’t sure how to answer. It was a saying she had heard before, the kind of folksy wisdom that floated around small towns like hers or his… but she had never considered it might apply here. The thought had crossed her mind only an hour or so earlier that secrets shared by three people tended not to remain secrets very long… but that didn’t seem so true anymore, at least not in this case. Secrets shared between people who could be completely, explicitly trusted…. Those ones stayed secret.

“I think you’re right.” Riza answered his smile with her own. “It feels strange to finally talk about it, but not in a bad way.”

“Good.” Reaching forward, he held a loosely closed fist toward her. “Thanks for telling me.”

She tapped the knuckles of her good hand against his, some small part of her brain noting the familiarity of the gesture; one she had only ever seen him use with Breda. “Thank you for listening.”

—--------------

The door was back on its hinges when they arrived back at the apartment, without even a trace of alchemy visible in the grain of the wood. From beyond it came a soft thud following by a skittering of claws across the floor.

Hayate abandoned his ball as the door opened, rocketing across the room to greet her. Roy got to his feet from a chair at the kitchen table, watching the dog’s antics with a smile.

“Thought it might help you out if I tired him out before you got back, but I don’t know if it worked.” He shook his head. “I’ve been throwing that ball for him for half an hour, and he hasn’t slowed down.”

Carefully ushering her pet to one side, out of the way of the door, Riza nodded. “Put it together with all the excitement from earlier, and I’m sure he’ll sleep before long.” She nodded toward the door as Havoc closed it behind himself. “Thanks for the fix, and for looking after him.”

The shrug Roy offered was carefully curated to appear casual, but she still saw the tension riding the muscles underneath. “It was the least I could do, especially once I knew you were in capable hands.” His eyes dropped to the bandaging wrapped across her chest, taking in the way it bound her left hand to her right shoulder, immobilizing the joint. “Speaking of, how did it go?”

She knew the caution that sent the back of her neck tensing up would be visible to Roy, and from the way those dark eyes twitched from her face to the side of her neck and back again, he definitely noticed. Almost instantly, like a reflex, he tucked both hands into his pockets; a casual gesture, but a self-comforting one as it brought his gloves within easy reach.

“It took a few tries to get it popped back into place, but we got it dealt with quickly enough that Knox doesn’t think there’ll be any lasting damage.” She paused only long enough for a deep breath before pressing forward. “Havoc had to help, and that led to him seeing the tattoo. I took the time on the way back here to talk it over with him.”

She half-expected his eyes to go to Havoc, but they remained watching her. Reading her. Body language, tone of voice, word choice…. He was studying all of it, taking time to formulate a careful reply. He wouldn’t want to give away anything she had intentionally left out, leading to more explanation, and he was likely trying to figure out what had already been said.

“…You told him about the tattoo?” he asked. Clarifying. When she nodded, he added, “Scars, too?”

“Scars, too,” she confirmed, then smiled slightly. “I suppose the three of us are a matched set in that regard.”

Havoc cleared his throat only slightly nervously. “If it makes any difference, sir, she made it clear I’m sworn to secrecy, and… well, I only found out about it by accident, really. I wouldn’t have if Dr. Knox hadn’t needed an extra hand.”

This time, Roy did look in his direction, again with that silent, evaluating stare. Havoc didn’t have the same sort of insight into that look that Riza did, and she watched him shift uneasily. To his credit, he was able to maintain eye contact, even if he did swallow nervously.

“If, uh… if it makes any difference, Chief, I think it gives me a… a whole new perspective. On you guys, on the way you operate…. I think it’ll be helpful, you know?” The nervousness faded for a moment, replaced by an earnest yet firm, “I also don’t want you to be angry with her, sir; she only told me because she had to, so that the level of trust we’ve built up didn’t –“

“I’m not angry.” He didn’t raise his voice, the cutoff being a gentle one. Hands still in his pockets, but his posture considerably more relaxed, Roy smiled. “It’s always been Hawkeye’s choice whether or not to tell anyone about it, and the fact that I’ve kept the secret is – aside from the fact that it’s a particularly volatile secret – out of respect for that choice.” He shrugged. “If she says you needed to know, you needed to know, and I put my trust in that.”

“…Okay, good.” Havoc’s shoulders relaxed. He glanced between the two of them. “So… what happens now?”

“What happens now is that you go back to work for the rest of the day like the only thing that happened was I dislocated my shoulder.” Riza kept her voice casual, but firm. “It’s going to feel strange for a few days, knowing what you know and that the others don’t –“

“And shouldn’t,” Roy interjected quietly.

“–but that should fade in time,” Riza continued. “And I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but thank you. For coming to check when there was a problem, for taking me to Knox’s, and for understanding about everything else.” She smiled, an odd mixture of pride and gratitude gathering into a warm ball in her chest. “It genuinely means a lot.”

He immediately blushed lightly, his eyes dropping to the floor even though he was smiling. “No problem, sir. I, uh… I’m just glad I could help.” He nodded to where Hayate sat with the ball in front of him on the floor, happily panting as he watched the conversation. “If there was going to be a test of the Hayate Alarm System, at least it wasn’t something more serious… and I’m glad you’re okay.”

“So am I.” She nodded toward the door. “Go on; you should get back to the office and update the others. I’ll give the Colonel a bit more of a debrief.” She turned her attention back to Roy. “And then, sir, I was wondering if you could help me with a few more things before you leave?” she added, nodding toward her bandaged shoulder.

“Sure.” Roy looked toward Havoc. “And once you’ve updated the others, go ahead and take the rest of the day. You had a lot thrown at you today, and some extra time to process might be a good idea.”

“Not going to argue with you there,” the blond man agreed. “Though it was for good reasons.” Turning, he started for the door, throwing a good-natured wave over his shoulder. “See you both tomorrow; if there’s any more emergencies, send one of the others, okay?”

The moment the door closed behind him, Roy had closed the few steps between them and was examining the bandaging wrapped around her shoulder. “How is it? Do we need to see about getting you any pain medication, or –“

Her good hand settled over his. “It’s all taken care of,” she said quietly, just in case her voice carried through the door. “I know it's normally you that handles this kind of incident with me, and I know it bothers you that you couldn't this time. I’m sorry about that.” Her fingers squeezed his, just lightly, at the same time as she stretched up to plant a kiss on his cheek. “But, like you said, I was in capable hands. I’m all right; I promise.”

“Okay. I’ll take your word for it.” Roy leaned his forehead against hers, his free hand going to the small of her back to gently hold her closer. “You said you needed some help with some other stuff?”

She smiled slyly. “I lied. It was just to give you an excuse to stay. If you want to, of course.” She pulled back slightly, enough that she could look him in the eyes. “Havoc found out about the tattoo, about our history and the connection between me and your alchemy… but not about the pair of your underwear that I had to hide under my bed.”

Roy grinned. “I wondered where those went….”