Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Negan took a deep breath before he spoke. “I tell you I got married?”

He’d been waiting for the right moment to tell her. Judging by her reaction though, now was probably not that time.

Carol froze, just for a second. She hadn’t meant to.

Of course, he hadn’t told her, she hadn’t seen him since he ran off and left Alexandria without a word of warning.

She continued to check through the boxes of files, trying her best to seem unbothered by Negan’s news but she couldn’t stop a hint of a frown from forming on her brow.

“Why are you telling me this now?” She asked, annoyed that her voice had come out sounding small.

She didn’t know what else to say. She was still reeling a little from the way Negan had just shown up at her door unannounced. Her stomach dropped when she saw him standing there, she thought he was a piece of life that she had left behind for good.

Negan risked a glance at Carol, she was still rummaging through the shelves.

“I don’t know.” He conceded with a huff. “What are we looking for?”

“Blueprints,” Carol answered curtly. “Planning permissions, fire exit routes… Anything that would work as a map for this place.”

“Got it,” There was an awkward silence while they got on with their search. Negan was flicking through stacks of paper but he wasn’t really paying any attention to what was printed on them. He looked over at her again to see she was gently frowning still.

“Guess I just thought you should know.” He continued. “Thought you might care,”

“Yeah?” Carol stopped what she was doing to look at him. She brushed a wisp of her hair away from her face and shrugged. “Well, I don’t.”

Negan’s lips were pulled into a straight line but there was mischief hiding in his eyes. He nodded at her.

Carol’s look lingered on Negan for a moment longer than she wanted it to before she went back to rifling through the papers.

A few seconds had gone by and she could still feel his eyes on her.

“What?” She asked without looking up. She was positively glaring at the shelves in front of her now.

“Nothing,” Negan studied Carol while toying with the stack of papers he’d rolled up in his hands. A small smirk was creeping onto his lips. “It’s just, by the way you’re slamming those boxes around, I’d say you do care a little.”

“Just drop it.” She warned, snatching the papers from him.

Negan chuckled quietly to himself and held his hands up in surrender. His cocky tongue pushed along the inside of his lip. Carol was still as feisty as ever.

later

“You’ve sure made yourself at home.” Carol tutted as she returned from the other room.

Negan was coolly leaning back on her couch with his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles in front of him. His arms were folded over his chest. He’d left his jacket thrown over the armchair and his boots were left where he had kicked them off in the middle of the floor.

After dumping the blanket and pillow she’d fetched for him down on the coffee table, she made her way through the opened-planned living space to the kitchen.

“Thanks for letting me stay,” Negan called after her.

“You didn’t exactly give me much choice.” She scoffed back.

“This place is crazy,” Negan ignored her remark as he took a look around.

The apartment was pretty big, fully kitted out too. There were hints of Carol all over it. There were flowers in vases, drawings from the kids hanging on the fridge door and dustings of flour on the countertops. It still didn’t quite feel homely though, something was a little off.

“Like Kingdom on fucking steroids.” Negan grinned. “Hey, that King of yours still around?”

“Ezekiel drops me a visit from time to time.”

“Huh,” He mused. “What about Dixon? You guys still playing house?”

“No,” Carol frowned to herself as she opened the fridge. “It’s just me- What are you asking, Negan? You trying to figure out if I’m dating?”

She had poured herself a glass of wine and put the bottle away again before she thought to offer it to Negan. She got the bottle back out and shook it in his direction.

“Oh yeah, I’ll take one.” He accepted. “So, you’ve got yourself a little bachelorette pad in the city, huh?”

Carol changed her mind halfway through putting the bottle away again. She was going to need the whole thing.

“Thanks,” Negan sat up to take the glass Carol was offering and poured himself a drink. “Well, are you?”

“What?” She asked, trying her best to seem oblivious as she took a seat beside him. She was careful to avoid the arm he had casually slung over the back of the sofa.

“Seeing anyone?”

“You know, I’m not sure that’s any of your business,” She told him with a hint of something playful in her voice.

“Right.” Negan’s lips twitched into an amused smile.

He held his glass up, Carol rolled her eyes before gently clinking hers against it.

“Mm, this shit is good.” Negan hummed.

“You’re lucky, good wine is hard to come by these days. Even in this place.” Carol watched as he took another slow, appreciative sip.

“Now,” He shifted his body to face her more. “I don’t wanna sound like an asshole here.”

“Maybe don’t open your mouth then,” She said dryly.

Negan gave her a flash of his smile before he continued. “What in the shit is a gal like you doing in a place like this?”

Carol thought for a moment before answering. “Surviving mostly.”

Negan’s face screwed a little. “You know that’s different to living right?”

“Is that a line?” Carol asked with narrowing eyes, the smile playing on her lips betraying her.

“Would it work if it was? Cos I could show you exactly what being alive feels like.” Negan chuckled at the look on her face. “No, really. You do not fit in here. And you’re what? A baker? Come on. Why aren’t you out there with Smiler and the plastic parade serving and protecting those brainwashed streets?”

“I’m just, doing things my own way,” Carol shrugged. By that, she of course meant scheming and planning. “Keeping my head down. Daryl’s taking care of that side of things and I’m… ”

“Staying at home to watch the kids and wash his underwear?” Negan asked with amused intrigue as he waited to see if he could provoke a reaction.

“I’m keeping an eye on other things.” Carol pursed her lips. “Besides, the bakery’s a full-time job.” She added facetiously.

“Oh, it’s full-time?” He played along with a sly smile.

“Yeah, nine ’til three.”

“Uhhuh, right. So you’re a busy woman?”

“Well, I do other things too. I have the parent council to attend, so,”

“Oh, well you can’t miss out on that.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Important shit.” Negan’s face grew into a grin and Carol found herself laughing out loud with him.

“Shit, I missed you.” He said as his laughter subsided. His words awkwardly rang out into the silence that followed.

Carol took a slow sip of her drink to avoid answering. “He does smile sometimes.” She said after a moment.

“He grimaces.” Negan corrected her.

“Stop it.” Carol scolded. She and Daryl might not have been as close as they once were but he was still her best friend, she was going to stick up for him.

“You remember the last time we drank wine together?” Negan continued, ignoring the look of reprimand. He was giving her a smokey-eyed sultry smile. “Damn, we had fun that night.”

Carol raised her eyebrows. That night. She thought about that night a lot. Even though they had consumed copious amounts of alcohol, she could never forget a moment of that night.

Her eyes fell to the floor while the memories continued to replay. “Oh, I remember.”

She smiled almost sheepishly when she looked back up and met Negan’s eyes. There was a glint of familiar sparkle in them.

She felt a blush hitting her cheeks.

Negan looked away and broke the building tension. “I still say it was your fault that I cut my foot.” He told her flatly.

Carol narrowed her eyes, “No, it was your fault.” She corrected him.

Truthfully, she didn’t have a damned clue what he was talking about. She didn’t remember him ever cutting himself.

“Hey,” He grinned. “I wasn’t the one trying to grab hold of the damned thing.”

Carol was confused. She shifted in her seat, tucking her legs beneath her and hummed while she thought it over.

He was looking at her expectantly while she tried to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

“Shower?” Carol tried.

“Shit,” Negan hung his head back and laughed. “Nope, that wasn’t even the same night. That was another wild fucking time though. I ain’t trying that shit ever again.”

Carol was annoyed now. She huffed as she leaned her elbow on the back of the sofa and rested her head on her hand.


“C’mon,” Now Carol was close enough, Negan’s fingers moved from where they were resting to graze her arm. “Think about it,”

He leaned closer to her wearing a menacing grin that could only lead to trouble.

“We were in your living room, and,” His voice was a low grumble as he tried to jog her memory. “We had to be real quiet cos asshole was upstairs but you were just laughing so damn hard.” He let out a short laugh. Carol had moved in closer to him as he’d been talking. They were both too caught up in their reminiscing and the well-aged wine it seemed to realise he had begun to lightly stroke shapes onto her arm.

“You were wearing my leather and not much else, kept telling me how ruggedly handsome I was... ?” He finished with his mouth hanging in a side smirk.

“Yeah, that last part definitely didn’t happen.” Carol snorted softly. “Although now you mention it, a broken wine bottle does spring to mind.”

“Bin-go!” Negan laughed. “You remember knocking it over too now?”

Carol felt her face flushing as she remembered exactly what position she was in that night that had her grasping the tabletop and knocking over that bottle. The glazed expression Negan was now wearing told her that he was remembering it too.

And he was. He was remembering exactly how he had her bent over, how his fingers bore into her hips leaving angry red marks behind them…

Their eyes reconnected.

He moved his arm from where it was still stretched out to curve around her shoulder. When she didn’t show any sign of protest, he drew her in closer.

“Yeah,” Negan's chuckle was a low grumble in his chest, his hand had started to stroke delicate circles on Carol's shoulder. “It was quite the night.”

“It was,” She quietly agreed.

She realised what was happening, it had happened many times before. She knew she was in dangerous territory here but that knowledge didn’t stop her breathing from being reduced to a shudder as she looked up at his dark, smouldering stare. It didn’t stop her from laying her hand flat out in the centre of his chest or from allowing it to wander upwards to his jaw.

Negan's heavy-lidded eyes flicked down to Carol's lips just before he began to slowly dip his head down towards hers.

“No,” Just like that, the trance was broken. She put her hands on his chest and pushed herself away from him. “We aren’t doing this again, Negan. I can’t.”

He cleared his throat and raked his hair back with his fingers.

“Sorry,” He grumbled, his eyes fells to the floor. “I thought— “

“You are a married man.” Carol’s words were rigorous and delivered with the intent to sting.

Negan huffed a humourless laugh. “I was.”

Carol threw him a puzzled look.

“Yeah.” He picked up his wine glass and made small circles with his hand. He watched the little wine he had left swirl around before he lifted it to his lips to finish it off. “She left me. Would’ve told you earlier if you’d have let me finish.”

“Negan— “ Carol started to apologise but he waved her away. “What happened?”

“I don’t really know.” He shook his head as he pulled the cork off the bottle of wine to pour himself another generous glass. “I guess we rushed into things. Her loss right?”

The resentment left Negan’s eyes after Carol placed a comforting touch to his knee. He only managed to give her a half smile in return.

“It was a while ago now.” He spoke as he took the glass from her hand to top it up. “Six months maybe? Shit, I don’t know.“

He handed Carol her drink before he sank most of his own in one gulp.

“Thing is, with me and her it was never… “ He was fighting the cork back into the bottle while trying to think exactly what he wanted to say. “It was never like this, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Carol uttered though, of course, she had known exactly what he meant.

“It was never just easy.” Negan's expression had turned serious as he gestured between them. “We never had what you and I had.”

She watched as he looked down into his wine glass.

“We had fun,” she said quietly.

Negan’s brow furrowed as he looked back up at her. “That all we had? Fun?”

They had both always delicately danced around the subject of their history together. It was a dance they knew all too well. In theory, it was easy. See each other, smile, say nothing and carry on with their separate lives. Put into practice, however, they both found it difficult not to let their truths show.

If anyone in Alexandria had paid them any real attention they would have easily noticed the little glances and fleeting touches they shared when they were together. They would have noticed the obvious appreciation they held for each other. Negan especially didn’t let his admiration for Carol go unheard, he thought that the woman was magnificent and that everyone should know it.

The most important part of this act, and its greatest flaw, was to assume the ardent desire they felt for the other was unrequited. Carol swore she’d never allow herself to feel anything towards Negan and Negan convinced himself that she never would.

Carol nodded, her lips pulled tight. “That’s all we had.” She tried to bring the conversation to its conclusion.

Negan let out a single dry laugh.

With that, deciding it was in her best interest to call it a night, Carol stood up and got to tidying away the wine and the glasses. They clinked together in her hands.

“Bullshit.”

She pretended not to hear his offhand remark as she dumped the now-empty bottle into the trash and placed the dirty glasses into the sink. She stood there for a minute with her hands holding onto the countertop and closed her eyes, allowing herself to take in a deep breath before slowly releasing it.

She reassured herself that she had complete composure back before she turned around but flinched when she found that Negan was standing there behind her.

His tall frame always seemed to demand dominance, she felt so small in comparison. He was just standing there looking at her and seeing all of the things she didn’t want him to see, all of the emotions she didn’t want to show.

“Carol, what we had… ” He shook his head almost as if the memories pained him.

“Don’t,” Carol didn’t want to hear it.

Negan opened his mouth to talk again but she cut him off. She was angry.

“You do not get to come here and act as if nothing has happened, Negan! Like you didn’t just up and leave!”

He kept his voice steady in comparison. “We both know that me being there probably wasn’t going to end well for either of us.”

“Is that your apology?” Carol laughed in disbelief, she’d had enough. “I’m going to bed.”

“Carol— “

“Goodnight, Negan.”

“Wait,” Negan managed to catch her elbow as she barged past him, forcing her to inadvertently spin around to face him.

“Now, you can be mad at me. Hell, you should be mad at me. But you cannot tell me that what we had wasn’t something.”

“Why not? You certainly didn’t think it was something worth sticking around for.” She pulled her arm away from him. “Negan, you left. You just left! After everything that we went through.”

Carol’s statement was one that demanded an explanation but Negan didn’t have one to give her. They continued to stare each other down.

Her stony glare became blurred with tears that she was not about to let fall. “ Everything. Did I not deserve an explanation? A goodbye?”

“I left because I had to.” Negan was talking through a clenched jaw, restraining himself from saying something he might regret later. “I couldn’t stay in Alexandria with that giant ass target on my back. There was nothing for me there! I was treated like dirt. I didn’t have a home, I didn’t have friends. I had nothing!”

“You had me!” Carol’s words seemed to hang in the air after they spilt out. “That wasn’t a good enough reason to stay?”

“Shit, Carol.” Negan’s face fell along with the volume of his voice. He sighed and let his chin fall before he looked at her again. “Leaving you behind was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. There was not a day that went by that I didn’t regret it.”

Carol found it hard to believe what he was trying to tell her. His betrayal still felt fresh. After he was gone she was left feeling stupid, humiliated and led on. She resented him for it and yet here she was just moments ago, putty in his hands again. Any time he came running she just couldn’t seem to resist it and she felt like a fool because of it.

Her bottom lip trembled against her will. “If we had something why was I left to feel like nothing? Whatever we had couldn’t have meant shit to you.”

Negan felt his stomach drop and his heart sink. Carol’s words were powerful. He truly did believe that leaving was his best option to make sure she didn’t end up getting hurt. Hurting people seemed to be the only thing he was good at. He didn’t want to know what the repercussions for her would be if anyone ever found out about the time they spent together.

He stepped closer to her, his face lined with pain. He decided it was about time to lay all his cards on the table.

“Look, I am sorry that I hurt you.” There was an ache in his chest as Carol looked at him with damp eyes. “Truth is? I couldn’t stay there for one second longer and stay apart from you. Me leaving and not coming back was a hell of a lot easier than staying there and accepting that I was falling in love with you and that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”

His confession coaxed a single tear to fall down Carol’s cheek.

“Negan, please don’t— “ She pleaded. She didn’t want to hear it, she wanted to stay mad at him. She wanted to hate him.

“I tried to recreate what we had with someone else but it didn’t work out. And you know why it didn’t work out?”

Negan sighed heavily as Carol tried to push her way past him again. He stepped into her path and took hold of her arms.

Carol didn’t fight against him, she had been hoping that he was going to stop her from leaving.

“It was because she wasn’t you.” Negan told her earnestly. He towered over her as they stood close. He reached up and pushed her hair back behind her ear.

Carol closed her eyes to save any more tears from falling and swallowed as Negan ran a delicate knuckle down her cheek. He cradled her jaw in his hand, his fingertips curving around to hold her neck.

She tilted her head into his hand. “I thought,” She took a deep breath to try and subdue the defiant tears that were running down her cheeks. “I thought that you were just someone else who decided they didn’t want me anymore.”

“Carol,” Negan shook his head. He was perhaps for the first time ever, at a loss for words. He needed her to know how wrong she was. “Carol that’s not true.”

His eyes pleaded with her. He needed her to believe him. He took another step towards her and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace. Carol screwed her eyes shut as she clung to him, she had her face pressed against his chest.

Negan held his cheek against her hair, praying that he was going to be able to hold it together.

“I want this,” He admitted quietly and confidently. He let his fall head down into the crook of her shoulder.

Her eyes closed, she succumbed to him as he breathed her in. She raised her hand and slid her fingers into his hair, a gesture which prompted Negan to turn his head and press his lips against the soft skin on her neck. He left them to linger there before they slid up.

“I want you.” He muttered with rough affection into her ear.

His whisper made the hair on her arms stand up. She shuddered an almost silent sigh as he kissed the hollow beneath her ear.

“Negan,” Carol breathed.

“I want us.”

Carol found herself unwillingly letting out small sighs as Negan’s lips continued to caress her neck. She turned her head to face him, forcing him to break contact.

He pulled his head back to look at her face. They were just millimetres apart.

Negan waited for a fraction of a second for any sign of the slightest hesitation from Carol before he pressed his lips to hers.

Carol quickly pulled back, as if his lips had burnt her. She scanned Negan’s face, looking for any indication of deceit but it wasn’t there. His face was dark and serious, a fire burned in his eyes.

“I want you.” He felt compelled to remind her again.

It was Carol who initiated the second kiss. She took Negan’s face into her hands and crashed their lips together. Her hands slid up to knot into his hair as he took a strong hold of her hips.

She gasped into the air when he tugged on her lower lip with his teeth.

Their lips met harsher after that, as if they both were realising just how starved they had been of the other. Their kisses were desperate, filled with longing, admission and pent-up lust that they’d been trying to ignore for too long.

Chapter Text

Negan’s mouth felt even better against Carol’s own than she remembered. He tasted better too.

She was betraying herself here, finding that she was back in the position she often found herself in while kissing him, standing on tiptoes and practically hanging from his neck. He had one of his caressing hands positioned on the small of her back, the other in the space between her shoulder blades. His arms completely enveloped and held her body almost flush with his own as their tongues became reacquainted.

She had been managing to stop her hands from misbehaving until Negan moved his to her ass and squeezed as he deepened their kiss further. They let her down after that, sliding up to take a firm grasp of his hair. She pulled his face back down with her as she stood with feet flat on the floor again.

She could feel the smile on his lips grow as he happily hummed a low groan. He never was afraid of letting her know when he was enjoying himself, the erection that was pressed against her hip was further proof of that.

She had been trying so hard to keep her emotions out of this, to separate the pleasure from the man who was providing it but god, he wasn’t making it easy for her.

She was still holding him when he pulled his face away. His eyes were heavy, hooded with cocky lust. He was smiling at her with a familiar gentle grin, his tongue running back and forth slowly along the inside of his bottom lip. He looked annoyingly beautiful.

‘I was falling in love with you.’

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before she lifted her chin to nudge his nose with her own. She moved her hands to cradle his jaw and guide his mouth back down to meet hers.

She wanted to stay mad at him, but she just couldn’t do it. How could she deny him? Negan was the only one who had ever made her feel this way. Coveted.

She quietly moaned as something in their kiss turned more serious. He was kissing her with more vigour than before. Sighs passed between their lips as he easily lifted her from the floor onto the countertop. He was back on her in an instant, crashing their mouths together as he stepped between her legs and slid his hands up her shirt to press into the flesh on her back.

Carol briefly held his lip between her teeth, tugging at it gently while he all but growled. She released it only to follow with a soft quick kiss before he pulled away from her to lean their foreheads together again.

She was thankful for the pause, it seemed they both were needing a moment to catch their breath.

There was something different about the way Negan was touching her tonight. He was taking things slower, like he wanted to savour every expletive sigh that he was so easily managing to coax from her with his carefully wandering hands and tentative lips.

He grinned at her now, his impossibly dark brown eyes seeming to darken even further before he angled his head to kiss her jaw.

Carol sighed and tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck for him to explore. He was gently sucking over the skin he had pulled between his nibbling teeth and it felt oh, so good.

“Damn, I missed this.” He uttered right against her skin in between his trailing kisses.

Carol moaned softly as his lips found a particularly sensitive soft spot below her ear.

In her mind, his words echoed again. ‘I was falling in love with you.’

It was all coming back to her now. She hadn’t been falling in love with him before he left. No. Truth was, she had already truly and deeply fallen. And no matter how perfectly right it felt to be back in the arms of this wonderful man, she couldn’t forget how much it hurt her when he left. He just left.

“Negan,”

“Mh?” He hummed in reply before his lips caught onto her again.

She shouldn’t be feeling this way, not about him. This was the way Negan gained his power, by having those around him feel like they needed him to survive, and shit did Carol feel that way right now. Her feeble attempt at resistance was once again rendered useless by his accidentally manipulative charm.

His fingertips seared her skin as they grazed their way towards the clasp of her bra.

It was all too much.

Her eyes snapped open, she recoiled back like she had been slapped in the face. Her hands pushed him away as she slipped down from the counter.

“Carol — “

“Sorry,” She mumbled, pushing past him. “I can’t— we can’t,”

“Shit, what did I do!?” He turned, his gaze following her as called after her. “Carol!?”

But Carol didn’t answer, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her instead.

“Fuck!” Negan cussed and slammed a fist onto the marble worktop before spinning around to lean his back against it. He blew the air out of his puffed cheeks. “Shit.”

Guilt was a real boner killer it turned out.

Chapter Text

“The hell are you doing here?”

Negan slowly squinted his eyes open to see who it was that had just so rudely woken him up, although he did have a good guess. There was only one person ever really who growled at him with quite as much venom and vigour as that.

“Shit,” He groaned as he sat up from the sofa, surprised at the dull thud of a hangover in his head. “It is nice to see you again too.”

He was right, it was no other than the one and only Daryl fucking Dixon standing there by Carol’s front door. He had a brown paper bag clutched to his chest, a set of keys in his hand and a scowl on his face.

“Oh, you brought breakfast?” Negan quipped through his smart-ass grin. “Well, that is mighty thoughtful. Carol’s still in bed though, we had a late night.”

Daryl didn’t react, instead keeping his cool and offering Negan nothing more than a silent glare as he made his way towards the kitchen.

To Negan’s absolute delight, however, his silence was soon broken by the low grumble he made when he had to step over the pile of clothes on the floor.

“I forgot to bring my jam jams,” Negan explained with a shrug, amused as hell by Daryl’s discontent. “Did not need them in the end.”

He tossed the blanket he’d been wearing to the side before grabbing his crumpled pants from the floor, he didn’t bother to try and hide any part of himself from being fully on show as he stood up to pull them on. He followed behind Daryl while pulling his shirt on.

“If you wanna just leave that on the side there, I’ll let Carol know you stopped by.”

Negan knew what he was doing, there was just nothing he loved more than pissing this fella off. He couldn’t help but fuck with him, it was so easy and so damn fun.

The quieter Daryl got, the more Negan upped his bullshit. The pair locked eyes as Negan tore himself off a piece of baguette from the bag.

“You miss me?” He waved the stolen bread in Daryl’s direction. “Mm, thanks for this, by the way. I was starved.”

“Why are you here?” Daryl tried again, seemingly unphased by Negan’s close proximity.

“Oh,” Negan spoke as he chewed. “I was just passing through. Thought I’d see what the old gang were up to. I needed a place to crash for the night and well, Carol’s always been generous with her company.” He laughed a little and shrugged before taking another bite. “With me at least.”

Daryl’s jaw tightened, he spoke quietly. “Get the hell outta here.”

Negan could see it in his eyes how badly this guy wanted to punch him. He was always so damn protective, like Carol’s personal shitty little guard dog. He wasn’t intimidated, not one bit. Daryl would never actually take a swing at him. Carol had him on too tight a leash and it was all too funny.

“What?” Negan mocked. “I didn’t catch that.”

“I told you what would happen if I ever caught you sniffin’ round her again,” Daryl warned louder this time. “I meant it then, still mean it now.”

“Suck my fat one, Dixon.” Negan laughed, popping the last of the bread into his mouth. “That will not work this time.”

He was finally getting the rise he wanted out of him, and he was loving it.

Daryl unfolded his arms to step closer to him but Negan’s smug smile didn’t falter, in fact it grew even wider still when his attention was drawn to Carol’s bedroom door as it swung open.

Carol stopped in her tracks when she saw them both. “What’s going on?”

“Well, good morning,” Negan’s face fell into an almost lazy smirk. “Daryl here brought breakfast. Ain’t he just the sweetest little Georgia peach?”

Daryl made a start at a comeback but Carol cut him off before he had a chance.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” She asked while fumbling with her robe to carefully pull it tighter to her body.

Shit. There was no way she was wearing anything underneath that thing. Negan couldn’t resist the urge to take a not-so-subtle glance down her body to her bare legs.

“What, the orientation thing?” He frowned as he tore himself another chunk of bread to shove into his mouth. “Mh. Actually,” He held his finger in the air until he had finished chewing, allowing enough time for Carol and Daryl to exchange glances before he continued. “I was actually hoping for a more personal tour. Thought you could show me around?”

“I have work, remember?” Carol said plainly.

Daryl scoffed. “He don’t need showin’ round anyways, I already told him he ain’t staying.”

“Yeah. I guess we’ll see about that, huh, buddy?”

“A’right.”

Negan’s latest chuckle was the final straw, he really had Daryl’s back up now.

“Oh, will the both of you just put it back in your damn pants already!?” Carol’s stern warning came just as the men threatened to size each other up. She put herself between them. “Negan. You’re going to be late.”

“Oh, come on.” Negan placed his hands on Carol’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze before pulling her closer to him. “I’m just busting his balls for old time’s sake.“

“She said leave, jackass.” Daryl retorted, snarling in such a way that his mouth barely opened.

“Daryl.” Carol had had enough, she pulled herself away from Negan’s grip and made a point to stand further away from him. “Just go.”

Negan began to laugh again but his face fell after he saw the way they were both looking at him. What the hell had he even done that was so bad? Daryl was the one who just showed up and interrupted things, well, that day anyway.

”Fine.” Negan gave up. He locked eyes with Carol, the events from the evening before were still fresh in his mind. “But you and I are not done here. I’ll see you around.”

By the time Carol was done seeing Negan out, Daryl had already just about finished storing away the groceries he had brought in with him.

“You’re not staying?” She questioned after a cautious approach. He usually stuck around for long enough to grab a coffee or share a meal together when he came for a visit.

“Nah.”

He wouldn’t look at her.

Carol huffed almost silently. They hadn’t ever talked about it, but Daryl had of course always been uncomfortable with her and Negan’s unlikely friendship. It was the same in Alexandria, even just one hour of Negan’s company usually meant at least a whole day of the cold shoulder from Daryl. It was no surprise he wasn’t too happy about his unexpected return.

“Are we still good for tonight?”

“Huh?”

“The winter fair?”

“I got work.”

“Oh, right. Okay.” Carol nodded. Daryl’s abruptness hurt. She quickly changed her tone to a more casual one, not wanting to let show how much she’d been looking forward to going. “I mean, it’s not important. I only wanted to go to show face. The more people we talk to the more we’ll find out about what actually goes on in this place.”

Daryl hummed.

While what Carol had said had mostly been true, there was a big part of her that had really been looking forward to going. Not only to just spend some time with Daryl but to join in with her new friends in the community and have some fun.

Maybe she’d just go by herself.

They both had busy schedules these days and barely got to see each other. She just wanted some time to talk to him, maybe have him open up a little. She was worried about the way his involvement with the Commonwealth Army had been affecting him. He never did particularly like taking orders from anyone, especially from strangers and he certainly didn’t like dishing them out either. Still, they needed to know what was really going on in this place so they both agreed to go along with the way things were. Just for a little while.

Carol sighed quietly as she watched him stow the last of the things into the pantry. He finally looked at her once he was finished.

“Why did he come here?” He asked after closing the cabinet.

“He said he didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Daryl picked his keys up and stuffed them into his pocket.

“I wasn’t exactly pleased to see him either, you know?” Carol continued, “But with what we’ve got going on here, it might actually be good to keep him around. That mouth of his is useful, he’s smart.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Daryl muttered.

“That too.” No point trying to deny that one. “But he can talk his way out of anything. He gets people talking too.”

“Hm.” Daryl hummed again, it was not a sound of agreement.

If Carol did want Negan to stick around, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be easy. This was going to take some convincing.

later

Carol was busy mixing together a fresh batch of cake batter when the tinkling bell on the bakery’s door announced the arrival of a new customer.

“Nice apron.”

She looked up and tried to ignore that fluttering and dropping in her stomach when she found Negan standing there grinning at her.

“I know I have told you before but, damn.” He squinted as his eyes looked her over. “Red really does suit the shit out of you.”

“How was orientation?” Carol asked, trying her best to sound composed as she sidestepped his allusion to a certain set of lingerie she owned.

“My name wasn’t on the list.” Negan rested his elbows on the glass display case as he leaned in closer. “Everyone else got taken away for interviews and got given job details and shit, I got given a wad of cash and a ‘good luck’.”

His eyes playfully narrowed. “How’d you do it?”

“I told you, I’m taking care of things here,” Carol answered matter of factly. “That’s all you need to know.”

“Well I’m just spitballing but, I am guessing it is thanks to you that I still don’t have a place to stay tonight, right?”

Carol had a feeling they both knew where he would be staying that night.

“I’m sure you’ll figure things out for yourself, Negan. You usually do.”

“Shit,” Negan laughed.

Carol was pleased with herself, she knew she had him impressed and she sure did enjoy impressing him.

“Did you make all of these?” He asked as he crouched down to take a look at the range of cakes on display in the cabinet. “Pretty nice spread.”

“Don’t you go taking all of the credit there, Carol. I did some too,”

The pair found they suddenly had company. Carol’s elderly colleague squinted through her thin-framed glasses as she made her way through from the back with a feather duster in hand.

“Not as many as I would have done if it was warmer out, of course, the cold is no good for my arthritis. And arthritis is no good for kneading dough.”

The woman accidentally nudged into Negan as she passed him by to start running the duster over the window shades.

“What’s your name, son?” She asked without turning around as she began to dust around the window sill.

“Negan,” He answered with a chuckle as Carol shot him a look of warning.

“And are you a friend of Carol’s, Negan?”

“That’s right. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss.” Negan replied with a sickeningly charming grin as the little old lady took a glance over her shoulder at him. He tilted his head and put his hands in his pockets.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Kathy.”

“It’s your name above the door then, huh? It’s a real nice place you’ve got here.”

Kathy stopped what she was doing to turn and beam at him now. She looked at him over the top of her glasses. Then she looked at Carol. And then back at him. “Do you bake?”

“No.” Negan chuckled. “But I am real good at clearing away the cobwebs.”

Carol rolled her eyes at what was yet another double entendre.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” She asked, cutting straight through the crap. “I’m guessing you don’t want to put an order in.”

“Yeah actually, I uh,” Negan scratched at his neck, clearly still keeping up the cute-guy bullshit since there was no way in hell this man was actually nervous. “I saw a few flyers around town, there’s this thing going on here tonight,”

“The winter fair.” Kathy chimed in again. “We’ve been preparing for it since before Halloween had even finished, we do it every year. It’s good to have tradition. Especially for the children.”

“Right. No, I agree. I was thinking about checking it out.” He rapped his knuckles over the glass counter a few times. “I hoped you might want to join me, Carol?”

Carol’s face stayed straight even though the thought did sound ever so slightly appealing.

“I have plans.” She replied.

“Damn, really? That’s a pity.”

Carol didn’t drop eye contact and said nothing as Negan’s tongue swiped over that stupidly slick smile.

That daring grin. Those narrowing eyes. They are what started all of this. The air of danger that followed Negan around was just so compelling somehow. She cursed herself for being so damned attracted to him.

“Alright,” Negan shrugged, standing up from where he’d been slouched against the wall. His face fell into a dangerous smirk before he knocked on the glass once more. “Well if you change your mind, I’ll be there. Big wheel at eight.”

He winked at her before turning away. He glanced back to meet her eyes one last time and then pushed the door open to leave.

“I mean it!” He called over his shoulder. “I’ll be there.”

Carol watched out the window as Negan crossed the street and eventually disappeared into the crowds of people.

“Well, he’s new ain’t he?” Kathy rejoined Carol back behind the counter, breaking her thoughts. “Did you know him from out there?”

Carol raised her eyebrows and got back to mixing the cake batter she had been working on before she was so rudely interrupted.

“Oh, I see.” Kathy continued knowingly. “It’s like that is it?”

Carol didn’t look up from the bowl she was now scowling at. “It is exactly like that.”

Kathy was easy to talk to, especially since she usually forgot most conversations not five minutes after they happened. And she didn’t know a damn thing about her or Negan or either of their pasts, she was pretty inoffensive company.

“I can’t believe he just strolled in here,” Carol said after a moment of being lost in her thoughts.

“He seemed pretty sweet to me.” Kathy’s voice always seemed to come out in a near squawk, like she had to talk loud to hear herself.

“That man is not sweet. He is trouble is what he is. He just comes in here,” Carol was almost furiously mixing the cake batter now.

“Like nothing happened. He’s… he’s absurd! So self-assured. Pompous.” Her whipping wooden spoon clattered against the edge of the plastic bowl as she whisked faster and faster. “Arrogant. Egotistical… I mean, come on. Meet him at the big wheel? What are we, teenagers?”

“Well if you don’t go, Carol, I might.”

Carol laughed her off.

“I’m serious! It’s not a bad thing to be made to feel young every now and then.”

Carol put the bowl down on the counter with an exasperated sigh and absent-mindedly lifted the spoon to her lips as Kathy continued.

“My husband used to take me to the dancing hall on Saturday nights, back before I had all of these wrinkles. I wore only the finest of gowns. That’s where we had our first date.”

Kathy lifted the edges of her raggedy old apron and swung it from side to side as she reminisced about days gone by. The garment seemed to dissipate under her fingers and turn back into the beautiful dress she was surely dreaming about.

“We shared a strawberry shortcake sundae, he let me have the cherry. And then on the way home, he asked if he could hold my hand.” The endearing memories gleamed in Kathy’s dampening eyes. “Of course, I told him he could, but we made sure he let go before we got back to my neighbourhood so as father wouldn’t see. He gave me every cherry from every ice cream we ever had after that, and he didn’t have to ask to hold my hand. I sure do miss him.”

Carol offered the older lady a sad smile. It was fair to assume that she hadn’t lost her late husband to old age. Life never ended that kindly anymore.

“He used to look at me the way that fella was looking at you just now, even after I woke up with all of these wrinkles one day. As if I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his eyes on. And I’m sure I used to smile right back at him as giddy as you were too.”

“Please,” Carol lightly scoffed, she hadn’t meant to smile at him at all. A smile was more than he deserved.

“Oh, I sure do miss Bert.” Kathy’s eyes had welled up even more as she clutched her hands to her heart. “Go tonight, Carol. You have to. Make it your first date. You don’t let the ones who look at you like that pass you by.”

Chapter Text

Carol turned her collar to the cold. It was eight o’clock exactly.

Fairground lights lined the busy bustling street. They were shining in the dark, dazzling in blue, red and green. Their brilliant vibrance set the mood for a good old-fashioned county fair. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy mixed in the air with the dusty smell from the few amusement ride generators and added to the palpable sense of excitement from the children who were loudly dragging their parents around.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. The noise from the fair faded into the background as her eyes became locked on him. He was waiting right where he said he would be. Looking exceedingly and annoyingly, tall, dark and handsome in what looked to be a new winter coat.

He hadn’t seen her yet, there was still time for her to turn around and just go home. But for whatever reason, her feet began to carry her forward quicker than they had been a moment ago.

He hung his head back when he finally saw her, the twinkling lights caught in his eyes as he admired her while she walked as casually as she could muster towards him.

“Hi,” Carol greeted him with a small smile.

“Hey, you made it.” Negan grinned. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

“Yeah, my options became limited so,” Carol shrugged. Her comment made Negan chuckle but she couldn’t help but think he looked a little hurt. His gaze had fallen to the floor.

“And,” She continued, earning his eye contact back. “I guess I kinda wanted to see you.”

“Well,” Negan was smiling again, apparently perked back up by her admission. “I am all yours. Let’s see what’s going on in freaky town.”

“Negan, wait.” Carol managed to stop him before he could lead them somewhere more populated and less private. “Listen, I was thinking about last night. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, I — “

“Hey, why don’t we talk later? Let’s just,” His words fell away, as he stood up straight to have a look around. He grinned. Something had caught his eye. “Let’s have some fun. I’ll show you what this arm can do.”

Before she knew what was happening, he had taken her by the hand and led her to a stall that had high netted walls lined with stuffed animals and rows of cans stacked in pyramids.

“These things aren’t as easy as they look you know?” Carol warned, but Negan was already sliding a couple of dollars towards the worker in exchange for three foam balls.

“Please. I can knock down a few cans.” He laughed confidently. “You watching?”

She took a step back and folded her arms while Negan stepped up to the spot. “I’m watching, big shot. Show me what you’ve got.”

“Oh, I should warn you.” He turned to her. “You’re gonna want to sleep with me pretty much immediately after this so you’re gonna have to try and remember to restrain yourself.”

“Enough of the yapping, throw the damn thing.”

He winked at her and then turned his attention back to the game. He wound his arm back and took one final glance behind to check she was still watching before he finally hurled the ball forward. It soared through the air at speed, only to go straight into the curtain that was hanging on the back wall. It hit with a dull thud before it fell to the ground.

He had missed completely.

“Oh, damn. That’s strike one, Smith. You were so close though!” Carol patronised with a smug smirk, she knew the guy’s ego had to be hurting. “Maybe next time!”

Even the guy working the stall was trying hard to stifle laughter. “Two more tries to win a prize!” he called.

“Shit,” Negan laughed and covered his face for a second.

“So, when does this me wanting to sleep with you thing start? Because I am feeling nothing.” Carol narrowed her eyes while Negan nodded and pulled his lips tight. He waved his hand, telling her to keep it coming. “Actually, is there a word for the opposite of that? I think I’m feeling the opposite of that.”

“All right, all right. Ha ha, very funny. Give me a break, huh? Shit suddenly becomes a hell of a lot harder to do when there’s a pretty lady watching, I was under a lot of pressure there!”

Carol cocked her eyebrow, trying to not let show how much his flattery was affecting her.

“You think you can do better?” Negan asked. He was holding out the second ball for her to take.

“Well, it’s literally impossible for me to do any worse now, is it?”

“All right, smart ass. Take me on a trip down memory lane and put those balls where your mouth is.”

Carol rolled her eyes as she took it from him.

“I missed on purpose, by the way,” He added.

“Uh-huh, sure you did.” Carol chuckled as she eyed up the target. She tossed the ball in the air a couple of times to get a good feel of it as she stepped up to the spot where he’d been standing.

“I did.” Negan had moved to stand right up behind her. “Knew you’d be going next and didn’t wanna put you off.”

She tried to ignore how close he had gotten as she finally aimed and took her shot.

The ball hit the top of the pyramid, easily knocking down four of the ten stacked cans.

Carol was beaming as she quickly turned round to see the look on Negan’s face, she just about fell into his arms in the process.

Thankfully, he caught her by the hips before she could literally fall. He looked impressed and was slowly shaking his head while he looked down at her.

“Damn, woman. I was expecting better from you, can’t lie.”

Carol cleared her throat and stepped away from him. “I did better than you did.”

“True,” Negan laughed. He picked up the final ball and threw it, knocking down the rest of the cans without much thought or effort. “I told you though, I struck out on purpose.”

“Anything from the second,” The guy working the stall said as he began to restack the cans.

“Oh. No, we’re good. Thank you.” Carol waved away the worker’s attempt to get her to choose something from the rows of shelves.

“C’mon, you gotta pick a prize.” Negan slung his arm around her and pulled her in close. “There must be something you like the look of. What about that one?”

Carol laughed at what he was pointing at, a massive teddy bear holding a big red heart.

His arm felt nice around her shoulder. Too nice. And he was so close she could smell him. Warm, woody and comfortably familiar.

“Hmm,” She peeled away from the offending arm to lean in and pretend to suddenly want a closer look at the array of tacky plushies. One shimmering trophy did indeed manage to catch her eye. “I like that one.”

“Really?” Negan screwed his face at the odd choice. “All right, we’ll take the trout.”

The worker nodded and Carol walked away holding a little rainbow-coloured fish plushie under the arm she didn’t have linked onto Negan.

It took her longer than it should have to remember to let him go.

“This place really is fucked isn’t it?” Negan mused quietly a little while later. He was giving the hotdog he was holding a look of puzzled intrigue.

“Yup.” Carol’s smile didn’t falter, she was keeping up her public facade while she watched the scores of people living life around them, seemingly all without a care in the world.

“How corrupt are we talking?” He muttered.

“I’m taking care of it.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Negan took a bite of his hotdog as Carol waved at a passerby. “Now, who the shit is this then?”

He gestured towards the odd-looking guy with the ventriloquist-doll-like stare who was quickly making his way towards them.

“Not a word,” She warned before she turned with a big smile plastered over her face towards the staring stranger.

“Carol.”

“Hey, Lance. This is, something,” She gestured towards the festivities going on around them.

“Isn’t it just? Though I’m not sure if even all of this is enough to please everyone.”

“Well, you can’t please them all.” Negan piped up from where he was standing behind Carol.

Lance’s beady eyes darted in his direction.

“I’m sorry. We haven’t met. You’re Negan.” He looked back between him and Carol, his stupid smile never slipping and those damn creepy eyes never blinking. “I trust everything was in order for you?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” Negan answered with wary brows slightly dipped. “So, Carol’s mentioned me, huh? Sorry, I didn’t catch your name… “

“Lance Hornsby. You’ve probably heard my name floating around too.”

“No, can’t say that I have, buddy,” Negan answered in a clear attempt to put the other man down.

Carol could have sworn he was standing taller now that Lance had joined them. She always knew when he was peacocking. For someone who always acted so sure of himself, he was very easily threatened.

“But, I’m just the new guy, haven’t been around long enough.”

“Yes,” Lance’s creepy stare fixed on Carol again. “Carol, I wondered if you would join me for lunch tomorrow. There’s something I’d like to discuss.”

“Sure, I’ll see you then.” Carol smiled pleasantly while Lance took another glimpse at Negan before bidding them both an awkward farewell.

“Holy shit, he got a date out of you easily.” Negan chuckled. “I hope that’s all part of the plan.”

“Please,” She glared. “I’m— “

“Yeah, I get it. You’re handling it.” He nodded while casually placing his hand on her back to get her moving again. “I hope you’re being careful though, something about that guy does not sit right with me.”

By the end of the evening, Carol’s cheeks hurt from all the laughing and smiling she’d been doing. Turns out she had a great time after all, she’d have to remember to thank Kathy for talking her into going.

Negan had been on his best behaviour all night. It was so nice to be spending time with him and talking to him properly again. It was as if the time they’d lost had never even happened.

The pair were slowly strolling home now. Judging by the pace, neither of them were quite ready for the evening to come to an end but it was cold and Carol was shivering. She pulled Negan’s coat tighter around her, he’d wrapped it around her shoulders about an hour before after jokingly telling her he was sick of hearing her whining.

“You’re still cold?” He asked with his eyebrows pressed together.

Carol had to laugh, she found his concern quite sweet. “A little, I’ll warm up quickly once I’m inside.”

That was all he said to her for the entirety of the walk home. It was unusual for him to not have anything to say, Carol figured it was probably the opposite that was true, that there was so probably damn much he wanted and needed to say to her that he didn’t know where to begin. She felt the same. It was easier to just say nothing.

“This is me.” She nodded up at the building in front of them as they came to a stop.

There was a moment of quiet while she handed his coat back with a coy smile.

“I had a great time,” Negan finally broke his silence.

“Me too,” Carol said with a wave of her new rainbow fish before she fondly smiled down at it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” He scratched behind his ear before putting his hands in his pockets with a shrug. “I better go. I managed to get a couple of nights in the processing holdings sorted. I’m already late to go meet the guy that’s got the keys.”

“Those rooms are like jail cells.” She frowned.

“Then I should feel right at home.” He chuckled. “Goodnight.”

He gave her one last smouldering smile before turning to leave.

Carol began to push open the entryway door but stopped.

“Negan, wait— “ She couldn’t let him just walk away, not just yet. Besides, they still had some things to settle. “Come inside?”

“Mm. You gotta try this,” Negan was situated back in Carol’s living room in what was very quickly becoming his spot on the sofa. He was tucking into a massive cupcake from the box they’d brought home from the fair.

“Try it?“ Carol laughed as she took a seat beside him. “I baked it!”

Negan’s eyes just about rolled to the back of his head as he swallowed. “It’s really fucking good. I haven’t eaten something like this in a long ass time.”

“Hey, don’t act so surprised! I have got many talents you don’t know about.”

“Shit, there are a few I know a lot about though.” His eyebrow wiggled.

Carol looked at him with a sad smile.

“What?” He asked, wiping the green frosting away from his mouth with the back of his hand.

“We still have to talk about last night.” She said almost apologetically.

“Yeah, okay” Negan straightened up from where he was sitting with a slight groan and set the rest of the cake down on the coffee table. He leaned back and crossed his arms. “I think we should talk about this morning too though.”

Carol squinted her eyes at him.

“Daryl. What was all that about? You told me there was nothing going on between you two.”

“Because there isn’t.” She answered gravely, unable to hide how annoyed she was by his questioning. “Are you being serious?”

She was pretty shocked. He had some damn nerve to be questioning her on whether she was telling the truth or not.

“Yeah, I am.” His face sure did read as serious. “C’mon. He let himself into your place this morning, had his own damn set of keys. The guy was going to make you breakfast, that is not exactly a standard friendship.”

“Shows how many friends you’ve had.” Carol huffed.

“Oh, please. That guy has had the hots for you for years. He was one growl away from pissing all over the place and marking you as his own.”

Carol laughed in disbelief.

It wasn’t like he was telling her anything she hadn’t considered herself before. There had been many times over the years when she wondered what a relationship with Daryl would be like and how she might react if there ever came a day when he said he’d been considering it too. But the thoughts were fleeting, just little ’what-if’s’ that were never truly to be. That day never came.

“So are you jealous?” She challenged.

“Yeah. I am.” Negan answered simply, keeping his cool. “Look, I just want to know if there’s even the slightest potential that I might be coming between something here— ”

“You aren’t,” Carol interjected abruptly. “Firstly, because there’s nothing to come between. And secondly, because even if there was, you would not be getting between it.”

It was Negan’s turn to scoff laughter. “Really, even after all the fun we had tonight?”

“We did have fun. I just,” She sighed.

“Look, I am sorry I made you feel uncomfortable last night,” He leaned towards her. “I didn’t mean to. I thought we were, I don’t know. I thought you were into it.”

“No, I was. I just,” Her heart ached as she looked at him, she wasn’t used to seeing him looking so beaten up. “I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you that easily. It’s going to take more than a couple of hours to forget.”

Negan nodded, he spoke quietly now. “You want to though, right?”

Carol’s voice broke as she whispered her answer. “I’m not sure if I ever can.”

“Carol,” His voice dropped lower still. “I don’t know what else to say here. I told you that I’m in love with you, how much I regret leaving. I should never have left you behind,”

“But you did.” Carol swallowed down the lump in her throat and prayed that she could say what she wanted to without getting too emotional. “I was just about ready to risk it all for you. I wanted to tell you so badly how I felt. I was so damn nervous but so excited. Every time you left I kicked myself for not saying something. And almost every night I had these dreams, they were so vivid. They felt so real. Dreams where you didn’t have to sneak out in the middle of the night, and I actually got to wake up beside you each morning. But then I’d wake up for real and just be alone. You have no idea how much it hurt me when I finally got the courage to try and find you to tell you how felt only to realise that you were gone. That you had chosen to leave.”

“…I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye, Negan!”

Carol could feel her body trembling but she was pleased to find that she was managing to keep her emotions at bay.

Negan on the other hand was shaking his head, his eyes filled with tears.

“Did you love her?”

“What?” Negan’s face paled further.

“You were with someone else. You married her.” Carol was finally revealing what had perhaps been upsetting her the most about this whole thing. Negan running away was one thing, him leaving only to very quickly end up with someone else was entirely different. “So, did you love her or is all of that still some kind of game to you?”

Negan sighed heavily. He brushed over his beard with his hand.

Carol changed her mind and decided that she heard enough. She gave him another moment, one last chance to say something but when he didn’t say anything she nodded and began to stand up to go hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

“No, wait. Wait, I can explain.” Negan got up too. He stopped her by taking hold of her shoulder. His eyes were desperately fixed on hers, pleading with her to believe that he was telling the truth.

“I didn’t think you felt anything for me. Hell, I wasn’t sure if you even liked me, Carol. I just… I had to try to forget. I was wild about you, I am wild about you. I thought I’d never even see you again.”

Carol was grateful her face remained in a stony stare.

“I had to do it.” Negan continued. “I had to marry her. That was the way the group I was with worked. Truth is, I talk a big game but I am not like you. There is no way I could have survived out there alone. Not for long anyway. They were a tough group. Scary as hell. If I wanted to stay with them, if I wanted the protection they could offer, and the food and the shelter, then I had to play by their rules. Same as you’re doing here.”

He let her go.

“I didn’t spend any time with her, didn’t live with her. I didn’t… do, anything with her. Not ever. She was going to have me exiled. So, I did what I’m best at. They would have just hunted me down if I ran… “ Negan’s words trailed off, his eyes became glassy and fixated on a spot on the ground.

“You killed them,” Carol stated quietly.

“Yeah. All of them. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t have a choice.” He finally looked back up at her and reached his hand out to take hers. “I had to be the one that lived because I had to live to see you again. I had to tell you. It took a while, but I eventually found out where you were and I knew I had a chance to make things right.”

He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “Now, I know I can’t force you to forgive me or to even think about giving me a chance to prove myself to you but shit, I sure hope you do. Because I am still so in love with you. I have had this dull ache in my chest and it hurts and I can’t— ”

Carol stepped forward to wrap her arms around him. She leaned her head on his chest as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Negan stilled for a moment before accepting her into an embrace. His voice was full of emotion as he finished his sentence. “I can’t make it stop,”

She could feel him press his face against her hair and hear him sniff like he might be crying, it made her hold him even tighter.

“It’s okay,” She whispered with eyes screwed shut as she grasped on.

Negan stood up straight after that, his hands fell to Carol’s hips. She pulled back to look at him and reached up to wipe a tear away from his cheek before letting her hand rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” He told her again.

She nodded. “I know.”

Negan swallowed almost audibly as Carol’s eyes began to drift towards his lips. He took a step back.

“Carol, baby,” He shook his head. “We can’t. “

“So you get to walk away with the moral high ground, huh?” She laughed incredulously and tried to move his hands away from her hips but he held on and pulled her in closer.

“No. I don’t want to walk away at all. The way we were tonight..?”

His smile almost came back as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Wow, I want that.”

It terrified Carol how badly she wanted that too, to just be together and not have to hide.

She tilted her head towards his hand but he lowered it to hold her side again.

“But you need time and I want to give it to you. I think last night made it pretty clear, you are not a hundred per cent certain here. And I need you to be. Because if you let me in I sure as shit will not be able to live without you again.”

Carol was stunned in place after Negan let her go and began to collect his things to leave.

Under any other circumstance, she might have demanded to know just who the hell he thought he was to try and tell her how she feels or what she needed. But not now. No, this time he was right. Whatever was going to happen between, if anything at all, it couldn’t be an emotional response. They had to be thinking clearly and they had to give it time.

“Negan, wait. Don’t go.”

If only her brain was as strong-willed as her heart.

The way he was looking at her, she must have sounded and looked pathetic with her shaking voice and teary eyes but she didn’t care.

“Please?” She asked again. The tears she had been managing to mostly fight back so far finally won the battle, there was no stopping them from falling now. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

She didn’t want to be away from him was a more honest statement.

Negan’s tongue ran back and forth over his lip as he thought his options over.

Carol sighed a breath of relief when he dropped his jacket back down onto the couch, she very quickly made her way back to his arms.

They stayed that way for a minute or two, both of them just quietly holding the other.

“Carol?” Negan asked quietly.

She pulled her head back to look at him.

“I hope I’m not overstepping the mark here, but…” He softly ran his knuckle down her cheek. “What would you say to giving that ‘waking up next to one another’ thing a go?”

Carol didn’t know what to say.

Negan took a cue from her silence. “Too much?”

“No.” She answered probably too quickly this time, “No, I’d like that.”

Negan’s smile was back for real now. He huffed out an exhausted breath and pushed his fingers back through his hair. “All right. If I’m not staying in that other place, I’ll have to go let them know and get my things.”

Carol agreed and followed him to the door. She stepped out into the fluorescent-lit hallway with him, it was so bright compared to her apartment.

“Now, are you sure you want me to come back?” He laughed.

“I’m sure,” She agreed with a laugh of her own.

Negan kissed her forehead and then pulled away from her with a grin. “I won’t be long then. Save me a spot?”

Carol quickly pulled him back in to kiss his cheek before he could leave. Her face lingered near his. He caught her eye and took the chance to press a chaste kiss to her lips.

She was still blushing at the gesture after she had made her back way inside the apartment.

It felt like she was floating as she went through the motions of getting ready for bed. Her mind was spinning, full of silly thoughts and wonder about what exactly she had just signed herself up for. It wouldn’t be too long before Negan was back and she wanted to have calmed herself down before he was.

She brushed her teeth and changed out of her clothes and then made her way to the bedroom where she turned off the main light and flicked on the switches on both of the bedside lamps.

A thought crossed her mind as she turned down the sheets. She had never been in bed properly with Negan before, she had no idea what side he’d want to sleep on. Everyone had a preferred side, right? What if they had the same one?

She laughed to herself as she made her way back to the kitchen, a woman her age should not feel this damn nervous about spending the night with a man. She felt giggly and giddy, just like the teenager Kathy had told her to allow herself to be for the evening.

She sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of water and tried to get find some composure as she eagerly awaited Negan’s return. It was going well until the box of cupcakes he’d left behind caught her eye and made her stomach angrily growl. Now that she realised how hungry she was, she couldn’t resist them. She’d just have to brush her teeth again.

She picked one out and peeled it from its paper casing before taking a big bite out of the green frosting that was on top. Negan was right, it was delicious. She was a damn good baker.

Before she had a chance to take a second bite, there was a knock at the door. Her heart fluttered as she stood up with a grin and made her way over to answer it, leaving the cake discarded back in its box.

He was back quicker than she thought he’d be, he must have been feeling eager too.

She was smiling so big when she unlocked the door and pulled it open. Much to her surprise though, it wasn’t Negan who was standing there.

“Hey,” Daryl frowned slightly as he looked at her, she must have looked a little manic. “You okay?”

“Hi. Yeah.” She tried to hide her shock as she ducked her head into the corridor to see if Negan was anywhere in sight. “What’s up? Something wrong?”

“I know it’s late but I just wanted to say sorry, ‘bout earlier.”

“About blowing me off or — “ Carol cocked her eyebrow. “I’m sorry, are you laughing at me?”

Daryl’s lips were twitching as he held back a snicker.

“What?” She quizzed taking a look behind her and then out into the hall again. “What is it?”

“You got a little frostin’ on your face there, Betty Crocker.”

“Oh, what?”

“Yup. S’bright green. Right there.” He pointed to a spot near his lip.

“Shit. Did I get it?” Carol asked, swiping away at her mouth.

“Nah. C’mere.“ Daryl grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to him.

Before she had a chance to react his hand was cupping her cheek and his thumb gently wiping over the corner of her mouth.

And then he froze.

His hand lingered, cradling her face while the other still had a tight grip on her wrist keeping her held close.

She knew she should say something, anything really but she didn’t know what.

The little smile Daryl had been wearing had fallen from his face.

He had been looking at her like that more and more recently, with his brow dipped and jaw clenched.

Chapter Text

Daryl scoffed before he dropped his hand.

He had only held it there for a moment really, a fraction of a second but still, it was long enough to make things feel weird.

There was something he wanted to say, Carol could see it.

“What is it?” She quietly asked.

His eyes flicked to the ground. He seemed to really contemplate before he looked back up at her. He was rolling his lip between his teeth, the way he always did when there was something bothering him.

But he shook his head.

“Nothin’,”

“You’re sure?” She tried again, although admittedly it was a half-hearted attempt. She really didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of him still being there when Negan eventually showed back up with his stuff, and that could be any minute now.

Daryl again seemed to consider saying something before changing his mind. Instead, he nodded his head once and then turned to leave.

She watched him go.

Carol awoke to the sound of running water, the shower was going. Her house guest was awake.

Even though the mood had changed by the time he’d gotten back, she and Negan had so much fun the night before. They were up until the early hours, shooting the shit and pretty much just smiling at each other until their tired eyes and husky voices wouldn’t let them stay awake any longer. When it finally came to turning in, he bid her sweet dreams and she went to bed alone.

She smiled as she stretched with a happy hum and rolled over to pull a pillow into her chest. She actually couldn’t wait to see him but decided to give it another five minutes or so after she got dressed to see if she could time what would look like an ‘accidental bump into’ on the way out.

Ten minutes later though he still showed no signs of leaving the bathroom, so she made her way over to the door to lightly knock on it.

“Hey, you decent in there?” She called.

A freshly showered and still towel-clad Negan swung the door open, a toothbrush was hanging out of his grinning mouth.

Great, apparently he could give her butterflies just by looking at her now.

“Morning,” He mumbled before spitting into the sink and then wiping his face off with a washcloth. “You good?”

She had to try really hard to keep her eyes focused on his face and away from where the towel was tied around his lean hips. It was proving difficult. The towel was hanging dangerously low, just under where his unexpectantly prominent v-lines formed.

She answered after what was probably too long a pause. “I’m good.”

“All right… ” He laughed a little and he folded his arms across his bare chest. “So did you just come through here to check me out or what?”

Shit, he must have caught her looking after all. But hey, at least he couldn’t read her mind. Her imagination was near enough to make her get down on her knees and rip that damned towel off.

She closed her eyes briefly before she answered him, ignoring the amusement plastered over his face.

“Actually, I’m just about to go to work but I needed to ask you a favour first.”

“Uhhuh,” He answered, turning his attention back to the mirror. “I’m listening.”

Carol couldn’t help but stare while he was fixing his hair. She even almost stepped closer to him, wondering what it would feel like to run her fingers down those flexing muscles on his back… But now was not the time to find out, she quickly averted her gaze.

“I need you to come and crash my lunch with Hornsby today.”

“Okay?” His intrigued expression found her in the mirror.

“There’s this dinner party going on tomorrow night in the town hall.” She explained. “Something the Miltons have orchestrated. They’ve invited people from all over town, all different backgrounds. I think they’re hoping to spread the word that they are still for the people, settle the unrest?”

Negan turned to face her now, leaning back against the sink. “And are they?”

“I don’t know.” She answered honestly.

“Huh,”

She followed him through to the living room where his clothes were neatly folded on the sofa.

“So what’s lunch with Hornsby got to do with it?” He asked still looking confused.

“Well, I figured if he’s feeling a little jealous he might be more inclined to try and impress.”

“Oh, I see,” Negan laughed while Carol found somewhere else to look, he had discarded his towel to pull on underwear. “More likely to open his trap and spill some secrets.”

“Right.” She pursed her lips, he was pulling on pants now and she was thankful most of the distraction was gone. “So I need you to ask me to go to it in front of him.”

Negan squinted. “Well, aren’t you devious?”

“You’ll need a suit jacket at least, there’s a tailor a couple of stores down from the bakery.”

“Holy shit,” He chuckled again, shaking his head. “This place is so fucking dumb.”

“They’re just trying to distract everyone from what’s going on behind the scenes,” Carol explained as Negan’s face fell into a look of questioning.

“And you want to go together?”

“Yeah. There are some other things going on that night too, you’re gonna need an alibi. They’re bound to be suspicious of you already.”

“What kind of things? I can help.”

“Just some surveillance.” Carol hoped her answer was enough to appease him from his genuine offer. There were a few people from Alexandria working on finding out more, Negan’s assistance at this stage would not be helpful. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

“All right.” Negan huffed. “Is there gonna be dancing at this thing?”

“Most likely.” Carol’s brow creased as a wolfish grin began to develop across Negan’s face. “I think there’s a band.”

“All right. How about this? I’ll be your date… ” His grin was truly devilish, Carol could feel her cheeks heating as he came closer. “If I get to act like I’m your date. I wanna walk in together, and I want two dances.”

She laughed him off and shook her head as she stepped away. “How about I meet you inside and you can have one dance.”

“Damn.” Negan feigned his disappointment. He wasn’t about to give up. “All right, fine. Just one dance. But I get to walk out with you on my arm at the end of the night.”

“If you think you can keep me entertained that long, sure.” Carol shrugged as she turned to leave for work. “Play your cards right I might even let you walk me all the way home.”

She heard Negan laugh as she left the apartment.

“Throw in third base and a sleepover and you have yourself a deal!”

“Don’t push it!” She called back. A thought came to her though, she popped her head back in the door just before closing it. “And don’t wear blue.”

Negan chuckled. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“So?”

Carol squinted her eyes. Kathy was standing with her hands on her hips and a big, knowing smile on her face.

“How did last night go?”

“I had a nice time,” Carol sheepishly shrugged her understatement as she tidied away her things. Her morning shift had come to an end and it was time for her lunch with Lance and, more importantly, almost time to see Negan again. “How did you know I went? I really wasn’t planning to.”

“Because you’re still smiling about it now.” Kathy laughed. “And I saw you there! It sure did look like you were having a nice time. I knew you would.”

“Oh, you should have said hi!” Carol smiled as she fondly remembered flashes of the evening.

“No, I didn’t want to disturb anything.” The older woman waved her away. “I made sure that other gentleman friend of yours didn’t either! He was looking for you too. Now, what is his name again… Scruffy fella?“

Carol felt her stomach drop. She hadn’t seen Daryl at the fair, had he seen her?

“Anyway, you know the one I mean,” Kathy was oblivious, she continued to chat while firing up the oven. “I told him to leave you and your date alone! I tell you, he did not look impressed when he saw how you two were giggling and blushing at each other. I think you’ve another admirer in the works, Carol.”

Carol had to plaster on a sweet smile, Kathy meant no harm. “You wouldn’t have been interrupting. Negan and I are just old friends, Daryl knows that too.”

“Sure, sure.” The older lady cackled again, she was clattering dirty baking trays into the sink now.

So was that the reason for Daryl’s strange visit? Was he there just to make sure Negan hadn’t gone home with her? It was a miracle they didn’t run into each other in her building.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d looked at her. She knew him well enough to know there was something going on with him.

She could see he had something to say to her, it was right on the tip of his tongue. But whatever was bothering him, it seemed he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Maybe he just wanted to remind her that Negan wasn’t welcome. Or maybe it was something else entirely, might Negan have been right? Was he jealous?

If he was, was that something she wanted to hear? Would she want to give that a chance?

So many questions but only one thing for certain, if she kept spending time with Negan then her friendship with Daryl would drift further and further away.

“Coconut oil.” Kathy slammed a glass jar down on the counter breaking Carol’s daydream.

Carol raised an eyebrow.

“No. I haven’t lost my marbles, not all of them anyway.” She continued with a wag of her finger. “Coconut oil keeps things running smoothly, especially when you reach a certain age. It’ll feel better for you, trust me. And he’ll like it too. You’ll be thanking me again tomorrow.”

“Kathy!” Carol laughed in disbelief.

“Take it home with you.” Kathy had got back to cleaning up. She spoke nonchalantly. “Keep it in the pantry. I still have some in mine, never know when it might come in handy.”

Daryl thanked the bartender before turning away with his drink in hand.

This bar was different from the kind he knew from the old world. Especially the one he and his brother Merle regularly frequented when they were kids, their mom would send them in to try find their dad if he didn’t come back from work on time. They always hoped the bastard had done them a favour and done a runner but no, they always found him.

Those places were always so dark inside, dingy. Not like in here. There was a soft glow from the wall lamps in this one, a gentle clatter from real cutlery as people ate their meals from real plates. Crazy that places like this even existed before, never mind now.

It seemed there was a point in time when that dive bar was the only constant in Daryl’s life, the only thing he could rely on being exactly the same. The place always had the same angry cowboy music playing and a punch-up going on somewhere in the background. The pool table was always there too.

Merle used to play with him, but when he got a little older and had no money and nothing better to do, he too started joining in with the drinking and the gambling and the fights that went on. It was probably a good thing the world ended when it did, what else was going to break that cycle of dead beats raising dead beats of their own?

Daryl got pretty damn good at shooting pool. He could hustle a few bucks from the drunks and leave without whichever idiot he’d been sent to find that night and manage to sort an evening meal for himself.

He chalked the cue he held in his hand now. Maybe this place wasn’t so bad after all. They really had everything.

He blew off the excess from the tip before leaning down over the table to take aim at the cueball.

“Flip to break?”

Daryl flicked his eyes up only momentarily before striking the break shot. Couldn’t this guy leave him alone for one fucking day?

“See now, that is just rude,” Negan said, not hiding the entertainment he seemed to get from any interaction they had with each other.

Daryl hadn’t sunk anything this time, so he begrudgingly passed the cue over.

“Thank you. Don’t worry, I’m not staying-” Negan grinned as he lined up a shot of his own. He didn’t miss. “I got stripes.”

“You ain’t got somewhere better to be?” Daryl finally broke his silence. He couldn’t help but sound pissed.

“Actually,” The balls clacked together as Negan took another successful shot. “I am here on business.”

The prick potted another two balls before finally missing, the cue passed hands again.

“Never mind me though,” He continued, leaning against the edge of the table. “What are you doing here? Keeping an eye on someone?”

Daryl didn’t answer.

That was exactly the reason he was here. Carol was eating with Hornsby and although she hadn’t asked him to be there, he wanted to be sure there wasn’t anyone else listening in to their conversation.

“Figures.” Negan seemed to wait a beat before he spoke again, his voice darkening ever so slightly while Daryl repositioned for another easy shot. ”Should I be worried about what Slappy wants with her?”

“What?” Daryl scrunched his face, unable to stop himself from looking at the other man now.

“The dummy.” He indiscreetly nodded across the room where the other two were seated. “That guy gives me the creeps.”

There wasn’t a hint of amusement there anymore, this guy was actually being serious. He was concerned.

Daryl scoffed. “It ain’t your place to be worrying.”

“Shit, you think it’s yours?” He questioned him incredulously.

He leaned over the pool table again and tried to keep his calm and his focus while Negan laughed at him.

“It isn’t.”

Daryl tightened his grip on the cue stick. He was biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to leave a mark. He potted another ball and didn’t take his concentration from the table as he and Negan walked opposite ways around the table, swapping positions.

“I guess we should be more worried about who it is that has got their hand up his ass. Milton, right?”

“Quiet down,” Daryl warned.

“Oh, please. No one’s paying attention to us. We are nobody’s here.” Negan muttered. He took a look around the room before shaking his head. “Besides, they’re all too busy playing make believe, having after work drinks and acting like all this shit is real. I see you’re blending in though, huh? Those sweaters? Are you taking showers now too?”

Daryl missed his shot. He stood up straight with a huff.

Negan continued, “As weird as shit is here though, do you really think this is a battle we need to be fighting in?”

Daryl didn’t let go of the cue when Negan tried to take it from him this time. He stepped up close to him and spoke quietly, right in his face. “There ain’t no we in this. I got family to protect. You ain’t a part of that.”

Negan’s coolness slipped from his face for just a moment as Daryl nudged his shoulder while passing him by, he had said the right thing.

Not enough to shut him up though.

“I saw what they did to Alexandria” Negan strolled around to the other side of the table. He crouched down to check his angles. Always a fucking show with this guy. He stood back up and very quickly took the split shot, pocketing two balls at once. He made it look easy. “But if you’re asking me? Those days are over. Better to cut losses. Pack up and go.”

Negan kept talking but Daryl had stopped listening, he watched across the room where Carol was laughing with Hornsby.

He silently wished the ground would swallow him up after what happened the night before. She must have thought he was a fucking moron, the way he ended up just standing there too close and staring.

He’d been trying all that evening to find the courage to drag his ass to go see her and tell her what he knew. And to tell her how fucking messed up and wrong it was. The thought that he might not find her alone was nearly enough to put him off going over there, until he thought about how damn good it would feel to bust his knuckles across that clown’s face. He decided he didn’t care if he’d be there or not after that.

When he eventually made his way over to her apartment though, the words he had wanted to say escaped him. He drew a blank, everything he had been rehearsing and going over in his mind all night was gone. It just wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have.

He found out about her and Negan by accident back in Alexandria. He’d had his suspicions for a while, caught them smirking at each other a few times. He was always just too damn close to her as well, always lurking in the background or showing up at their house unannounced with a shitty excuse about why he was there.

Daryl never thought those suspicions were really anything more than just that though, until he got back home late one night and ran into Negan on the stairs.

The jackass hadn’t even bothered to do his pants back up properly, was carrying his damn boots in his hand too. It had made him sick to his stomach, even just remembering it now brought the taste of bile back to his mouth.

That piece of shit had the nerve to smile as he passed him. Looked him right in the eye and laughed.

They didn’t say anything to each other, not right away. Daryl’s warning only came after he caught him for a second time trying to sneak out in the early hours again a few weeks later.

He thought his threats had worked when it turned out that Negan had left Alexandria the next day.

He never spoke a word of it to Carol.

“Looks like I’m gonna win, huh?” Negan grinned up at him from where he was leaning over the table. He pointed to the top right corner, calling the pocket he intended to hit the 8-ball into.

Daryl’s jaw tightened. The bastard had won before they’d started playing.

“Good game,” Negan announced before the ball had even fallen into the net. He lay the cue down on the table and glanced over his shoulder at Carol and Lance. He was running his tongue over his teeth when he turned back around. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I gotta go take care of business.”

Daryl could only watch as he left to pull a chair from another table to join them. He stole a fry from her plate. Lance looked pissed, but Carol was laughing. Her face was more lit up and animated than he’d seen it in a long time.

He was a man of his word, didn’t break his promises and meant what he said. But damn, seeing Carol smiling like that, looking actually relieved to see him… Who was he to take that away from her?

Chapter Text

“Come here often, miss?” Negan whispered into Carol’s ear from behind her, his voice was barely audible over the ambient noise of the crowded town hall. He had spotted her at the bar from across the room.

He swore there was a hint of red bushing her cheeks as she turned around to see him. Her eyes had lit up too.

“Hey,” She greeted him warmly.

He leaned in to peck her cheek before taking a seat on the barstool next to the one she was perched on. Sure, it was a bold move, but he couldn’t resist making it.

“Same again, Joe,” Negan called out, finishing the last of his scotch before placing the now empty glass on the counter. “Whatever the pretty lady’s having too.”

The barman quickly got to pouring more golden liquor while pulling out a second glass from somewhere underneath the bar.

“Watch it,” Carol cautioned quietly, leaving Negan to laugh as she ordered her drink.

She managed to get into her purse and pull out some cash before he even thought about reaching into his own pocket, it was going to take a while to get used to having to pay for things again.

“How you doing, sweetheart?” He asked.

Carol scrunched her face, a hint of amusement mingling with her exasperation as Negan’s heavy-lidded stare stayed fully fixed on her.

"Are you drunk already?" She asked.

"Well,” His voice darkened some, maybe he was a little drunk. “You left me hanging, darlin’. Wasn't sure if you were gonna show up at all."

“Tonight was a little trickier to arrange than I thought,” She explained, meeting his gaze. Damn, she could make a saint a sinner with those eyes. “I had the kids today,”

“Ah,” Negan understood what she was really getting at.

He had no idea what exactly it was she had going on behind the scenes that night but he hoped that whoever she had assigned the task to would be able to care of it quickly and quietly. Meddling around in places like this could very easily come back to bite you in the ass.

He stayed grinning as he watched her take a sip of her drink.

“What?” She asked, looking like she had already just about had enough of him.

“Nothing.” Negan purposefully tore his eyes away from her just for a second. “I finally got you out on a date though, huh?”

“Hmm,” The smile that slightly squinted Carol’s eyes never faltered. “Not a date.”

“No?” He feigned his perplexion. “I tell you what, that’s a shame because if it was, I’d probably tell you how damn beautiful you look tonight.”

“Stop it,” She warned again but she definitely was blushing this time. He’d never seen her do that before.

“No, I mean it.” He almost hummed as they locked eyes again.

Negan wasn’t about to tone it down any; the woman really did look gorgeous. She had this whole classy but sexy thing going on, dressed in a black gown and a sheer shawl that wrapped around her shoulders. It pretty much covered her up but shit, his imagination was easily able to fill in the blanks.

“Thank you.” She leaned over to nudge his shoulder with her own. “You look good too.”

“Mh, thanks.” He answered with a flash of his best debonair smile.

He hadn’t managed to bring himself to put on the full suit and tie like the rest of the dickheads attending had. Instead, he opted for an old dark shirt. He’d left a few buttons undone at the collar, revealing the beads he wore around his neck and just a hint of his tattooed chest. He was wearing a new black suit jacket on top. It still looked formal enough and he felt pretty confident in it, but he knew he didn’t look nearly good enough to be earning the right to be sitting next to a lady looking as good as she did.

“Suits ain’t quite my style.” He pulled at his lapel and winked.

Carol didn’t reply right away, seeming suddenly very interested in the bottom of her glass. After a moment of averted gazes, she muttered a rather shy response. “Well, you’re certainly managing to pull it off,”

Negan raked his teeth over his lip and drew in a breath as he slowly raised his glass to his mouth.

Tonight was going to be very interesting.

The sound of a chiming bell echoed through the room. Everyone seemed to know what to do. The pleasant background music that had been playing stopped and conversations dwindled out as they all headed towards the long table set up in the middle of the grand room.

Negan thanked the server who pulled out his chair before taking a seat to Carol’s left. He didn’t recognise anyone sitting around them other than Hornsby, who’d of course chosen the seat on Carol’s other side.

Chatter started up again as the excited guests greeted each other while a ridiculous amount of waiters began to pour glasses of wine.

Negan had no idea what to expect. He actually felt a little on edge. He eyed up the soldiers standing guard by the main entrance and made a mental note of another door that was partially hidden by a curtain towards the back of the hall, looking for a quick escape was second nature to him now.

Carol was still smiling as she spoke with Hornsby however, and that was enough to put Negan’s mind at ease.

Figuring it was time to turn on the bullshit as well, he turned to the woman sitting next to him. He didn’t get too far into an introduction though before the clinking of metal on glass brought the room to silence.

All attention turned to the thin lady standing with almost regal poise at the end of the table.

“Ladies and gentlemen, fellow survivors of this tumultuous world,”

Negan almost snorted. Tumultuous. What the fuck.

This woman, he recognised. Her middle-aged reptilian face was plastered everywhere all over the Commonwealth. The head honcho of pageantry herself, Pamela Milton.

“Thank you for joining me for this evening of celebration. Tonight, as we gather here in the heart of the Commonwealth, I stand before you not just as your governor, but as a representative of unity, resilience, and the power of community. I am humbled by the presence of each and every one of you, hailing from different walks of life, from diverse backgrounds and experiences… ”

Intriguing. From what he knew, Milton didn’t give a damn about the workers who lived in the fabricated lower-class slums of her city, surely they all saw that? There were scores of people going missing every day for Christ’s sake. Was the excitement of an invitation to an evening with her highness really enough to make them forget?

Maybe the towns folk were just simple-minded and desperate enough to lap it up. Hell, he himself had successfully fed the same kind of grandeur shit to the masses before, after all. Didn’t work out so well for him in the end.

“ …by valuing the contributions of every individual among us, regardless of their origins, beliefs, or station. For it is through this unity that we fortify our defences, nurture our compassion, and build a future where we can not only survive but truly thrive… ”

Yadda yadda yadda. This lady was definitely a trained politician. When was the food coming?

Negan’s boredom must have become audible because Carol’s head shot around to glare at him. He offered her a wink in return before leaning back in his chair.

Milton was still fucking talking.

“As we enjoy this evening, let us raise our glasses in gratitude, expressing our heartfelt appreciation for one another. Let us cherish the stories we share, the friendships we have formed, and the hope that courses through our veins. Together, we can continue to rewrite the narrative of this world, shaping it into a place where unity, justice, and compassion triumph over the darkness that surrounds us.”

Bullshit. Well-spoken bullshit, sure, but bullshit nonetheless.

Negan joined in raising a glass with the others as the carefully curated speech finally came to an end.

He could see how other groups coming in from the outside world might have been impressed by all of this. Not the Alexandrians though, they knew better.

He looked over at Carol, her eyes were still trained on the other woman as she took a sip of wine.

Milton had no idea what she was up against.

The meal they were eventually served was three courses of pure deliciousness. Now that it was done though, the long table had been split into smaller arrangements making room for a dancefloor. The lights had been dimmed and a string band struck up an upbeat tune from the corner of the hall.

The mixture of good food, good wine and even better bourbon had Negan feeling more relaxed. His eyes had barely strayed from Carol all evening, nor had the smile left his lips. He was back to being fully focused on what he’d assigned to be his main task of the night.

He knew now was the time to be making connections, maybe even nudging his way into a friendly relationship with Milton, but how the hell could he be expected to concentrate? Carol looked stunning. Just truly fucking breathtakingly drop dead gorgeous. Mesmerising. He’d never seen her wearing anything like the little black number she was in tonight, it hugged and flowed in all the right places. It was hard to concentrate on anything else other than her.

He was definitely taking liberties with the whole fake date thing, leaving an arm to stretch out and hold the back of her chair. It was an old school trick but hey, it works.

Negan found himself captivated by her even though she was pretty much facing away from him now as she chatted to a steadily growing more annoying and desperate Hornsby. He actually felt a little sorry for the guy, he didn’t stand a chance. Every now and then, she’d turn back to smile at him, he’d smile too and pretend to have been paying attention to the conversation at hand when really he was trying to stop his mind from wandering too far as he took in her every detail.

He followed a loose strand of hair that had fallen from her braid and noticed how it gently curled and fell so delicately onto her neck. Without much thought, he leaned over to tuck it behind her ear. His hand lingered when his fingers accidentally brushed against her skin.

Shit, he braced himself for the repercussions of the absent-minded misstep. As fabricated as it all might have been, this was an evening he could only have dreamed of sharing with her before, he didn’t know the playbook. What were the rules here?

His fears however were quickly swept aside when Carol reached over to place her hand on his knee under the table.

Damn, his heart actually skipped a beat.

Without dropping her conversation, her nails began to gently graze back and forth and man, the tingling feeling that sent through his entire body… Ho-ly shit. This woman was really doing something to him. Who knew that such a simple touch could make his dick twitch?

It seemed so forbidden, but they were in a room full of strangers and it seemed the unspoken rules they once had could finally be broken.

Negan liked that idea, he liked it a lot. He’d behaved himself for long enough. He figured if there were any lines left to be crossed, he was more than ready to cross them.

Playing it cool for now, he leaned back in his chair and raised his glass to take a slow sip of his drink in an attempt to calm down, knowing that Carol would never let it go if she ever found out how easily she’d managed to give him a stiffy.

The excitement was short-lived though, right before he got the chance to return the gesture in any way, maybe put his hand on top of hers, she and Hornsby excused themselves and stood up.

She dumped her purse onto Negan’s lap with a rueful smile before leaving to follow the other man towards the dancefloor.

“Shit,” he uttered, wiping a hand over his beard. This called for a refill.

Back at the bar, Negan was paying no more attention to the conversations going on around him now than he had to those back at the table. He leaned against the wall with one hand in his pocket, the other had a loose grasp on the drink that he was trying to nurse.

He was lost in his reverie, watching Carol dance with that creep while reliving pretty much every moment they’d shared over the past few days. He should get a medal for showing as much restraint as he had so far, it sure as shit wasn’t easy.

He could tell she was thinking about him just as much as he was thinking about her, ‘cause she kept catching his eye, even now from across the room while she danced with another guy.

There was such a strange feeling in his chest. A tugging yearn that longed to be closer. He knew his time would come. He just had to wait a little longer for it.

Carol seemed to be flustered when she finally returned to Negan’s side, her shawl had slipped from her shoulder and hung elegantly from her elbows now.

“Miss me?” She asked, taking her purse back from him.

“You know, that entire time I think Slappy only blinked twice,” Negan retorted with a cocked eyebrow. He was watching Hornsby dab at his forehead with the pocket square from his jacket. Yeah, this guy was definitely not something to be threatened by.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, Negan. You’ll get your turn.” Carol teased as she flagged the bartender down and gestured for another drink. “Do you want another?”

“I’m good,” Negan answered before swiping his tongue over his lip. Damn, he loved the sound of her saying his name. It was a good thing the lights had been dimmed earlier, he’d fully accepted that he’d be rocking a semi for the entirety of the evening. “I’d offer to get this one but I am all outta cash.”

“Charming,” Carol sarcastically quipped. He moved to stand by her side. “You can’t have blown through everything they gave you already?”

“Afraid so.” He replied, casually leaning on the bar. “Being responsible with money was never one of my strong suits.”

She turned her body to face his, actually looking a little pissed off. “What on earth could you have possibly spent all that on in just four days?”

“Shit, are you nagging me already? Really? On our first date?” Negan watched Carol fight back a smile before she finally broke their eye contact with a shake of her head. He stood up straight and gestured around the room. “Was life ever like this before for you? Dinners and dances?”

Her eyes followed the route his hand had taken. “Why do you ask?”

“You just… I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You really know how to carry yourself.”

“I actually didn’t get out of the house much before.” She admitted.

“Hm,” There was something bleak in her reply, Negan sensed it was best not to ask any more so he left it at that. “Well, you looked great out there.” He continued. “Most beautiful woman in here tonight I reckon.”

Carol rolled her eyes and totally sidestepped his flattery. “Was yours like this?”

“No.” Negan snorted. “But I did go to a shit tonne of school events, proms and sports dances. Well, until they stopped asking me to chaperone them.” He finished explaining himself before she managed to fully raise an eyebrow. “I got wasted drinking the alcohol the other teachers confiscated. But in my defence, those kids were always dull as shit. Hell, I even spiked the punch bowl myself one year just to liven things up a little, had to break up a few fistfights that night.”

“Wow.” Carol squinted at him, she wasn’t able to hide the amusement that was tugging at her lips. “You drink a lot.”

“At parties, sure.” He shrugged away the accusation before nodding to the glass in her hand. “Looks like you do too.”

“Touché.” Carol laughed, clinking her glass against his. She took a long sip of her drink before letting out a contented sigh and leaning into his side. He could feel the warmth of her body against his.

Ridiculous as it was, Negan had to remind himself to breathe. The spot where their arms were touching felt like it was burning.

He looked down at her, keeping his gaze fixed until she finally felt it and glanced up at him.

“Can’t lie, Carol. I am shitting my pants here.” He spoke his sudden admission with quiet sombre.

"Why?" Her expression turned to one of genuine concern.

“Cos I like being ‘round you.” He answered honestly, relieved to see her face begin to soften. “But I don’t know how to act when I am.”

There was a beat of silence while the pair just looked at each other, Carol’s face slowly fell into a warmer smile. “Do you wanna cash in that dance?”

“Does the pope shit in the woods?” Negan laughed. “Hell yeah,”

He knocked back the rest of his liquor and left the empty glass on the bar.

Luck was on his side it appeared, the band began to play a soft, slow number just as they reached the dance floor. Reminding himself to be confident, he offered Carol his hand.

Time to shine.

His heart was pounding as she drew in closer, her hand gently finding its place on his shoulder. With a firm but tender grip, he held her waist. They seemed to fit each other well, dancing together close and slow, both unafraid to take a glance at the other.

Shit, that liquor was having an effect on him. The warm bourbon buzz had him smiling like a fool as he closed his eyes in an attempt to savour the sweet scent of Carol’s perfume and the feeling of her light touch. Stuff like this always seemed mundane, a slow dance never appealed, but this was just perfect. He felt like he was fulfilling a need he didn’t even know he had.

His elation didn’t last long.

He opened his eyes just in time to see a familiar figure standing at the door. His gut twisted. Fucking Daryl Dixon, always showing up at the most inconvenient fucking times.

He hoped like hell Carol hadn’t spotted him too.

Everything slowed down while the men became locked in an agnostic stare. He better not be about to fuck this up for them.

After just a second or two, Daryl turned away to leave. He’d have to deal with him sometime soon, but not tonight. Negan had won for now.

“Something wrong?” Carol asked.

“Honestly?” Negan laughed, quickly putting Daryl to the back of his mind and remembering to move his feet again. “I’m worried I might be dreaming all of this.”

“It doesn’t feel real to me either,” She smiled and looked around the hall until her eyes settled on his again. “It’s crazy they managed to put this together.”

“Come on,” He challenged. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” She softly admitted, sliding her hand to briefly trace her fingers over his collarbone. “It has been fun, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” He agreed. “But,”

All that drink really must have gone to his head, ‘cos next thing he knew he was leaning in closer and allowing his daring lips to pretty much brush against her ear while he quietly muttered into it,

“I think it’s about time I took you home.”

Carol pulled her head back to get a good look at his face in a moment of heated silence.

Her eyes became set in a playful squint, her lips reflecting his gentle smirk.

Negan tried his best to convey exactly what direction he planned to take this evening in now with just one smouldering look. He was suddenly very aware of the grasp he had on her hips. He slid his hands around to the small of her back, pulling her in ever so slightly closer.

“Okay,” She nodded, reaching behind to lace their fingers together. “Take me home.”

Next thing he knew, she had turned and started to walk away. He didn’t know what to do for a moment, unsure if he’d missed the mark. Well, that was until she turned around with a cocked eyebrow and gestured for him to follow, a move that seemed to be daring him to fulfil his offer.

He laughed and brushed his hair back. Wow. Challenge accepted.

He felt smug as shit strolling out of there behind that beautiful woman.

He’d caught up with Carol by the time they got outside.

He captured her hand to easily spin her back in his direction.

There was a moment of quiet, the only sound was that of the steadily falling rain and their breathing.

Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him while he took a step closer to tower over her. He lifted his hand to take hold of her chin and tilted it up towards his own. He leaned down. Their foreheads were millimetres apart now, their lips even closer.

“This isn’t smart… ” Carol whispered. Her hands had a tight hold of his jacket, he was sure she would be able to feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“No,” He told her, his eyes darting back up after wandering down to her lips. “But it’s right.”

And then he kissed her.

And damn, right is exactly how it felt.

Time seemed to stop as their mouths stayed pressed together.

He moved his arms to wrap around her body and she leaned further into his embrace with a delighted, quiet sigh.

Their foreheads stayed pressed together after the kiss eventually broke off into mutual breaths of relief.

“C’mon,” Carol urged, slipping her hand into his.

The pavement shone like silver in the damp moonlight on their rushed walk home.

Negan took the key from Carol’s eagerly fumbling hand to unlock the door. She barely let him get inside before she threw her arms around him again. They both bit back moans as their lips feverishly met.

He walked her back a step or two. His heart still pounding as he totally encompassed her with a hand placed at each side of her head on the wall behind.

“Are you sure?” He pulled his head back to ask, already out of breath.

Carol nodded. “I’m so sure.”

“We can wait, we — “

She quickly shut him up, using the collar of his shirt to close the distance between their lips. She was through waiting too.

He felt her smile against his mouth before she pulled away from him again.

She tilted her head towards the bedroom.

“Yeah,” Negan nodded. He took hold of the hand she was offering and let her lead the way.

As they entered the room, Carol turned to face him.

“Give me a minute?” She asked.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you need.” He watched as she headed for the ensuite.

He blew out a breath as he sat down on the edge of her bed and ran his fingers back through his hair, trying to find some kind of composure. He tried concentrating on his breathing. In and out. Slowly in and out. He had to remind himself that shit was the shit he was good at, and this woman was the woman he had wanted for so desperately long.

“You got this,” He muttered to himself.

A few minutes passed by before Carol returned. She was reaching over her shoulder for the zip on the back of her dress. “Can you… ?“

“Yeah, ‘course.” He stood up and beckoned her closer with a wave of his hands. “Come here,”

He used a delicate touch to unzip her dress and marvelled in awe as she slowly slipped the garment from her shoulders, down her body and onto the floor.

It took his mouth going dry to realise he’d actually been gauping at her but shit he couldn’t help it, she was as beautiful as he remembered. Hell, she looked even better than he remembered.

She stepped out of her dress and towards him to take hold of his shoulders. She gently urged him to sit back down again. Their foreheads became pressed together as she moved to straddle his lap while wrapping her arms around his neck.

“You are gorgeous,” He told her, this disbelief dripping from his words.

He let out a deep hum of pleasure when she pressed her lips to his in reply.

Their kisses were slower this time, more deliberate somehow. Her tongue felt almost tentative compared to his own. His hands found a place to anchor on her hips while hers slid up his body to his cheeks and then eventually into his hair.

He let go of her only momentarily to shrug off his shirt, Carol had pushed it down his shoulders having somehow managed to undo all the buttons. She wasn’t doing so well with his belt though, her fingers were grappling with the stubborn buckle.

“Shit,” She cussed as she pulled away from him to look down and give it her full attention.

Negan felt her pain, he was literally aching with excitement and wanted nothing more than to get the damn thing off too, but he had to laugh at how frustrated she was getting.

“You managing there?” He teased.

Carol sat up straight and pushed her hair away from her face to look him in the eye. “You could help, you know? Instead of laughing.”

Negan grinned and instead of answering back, stood up, lifting her with him in the process.

“Oh my- “

He cut her off with a kiss as her legs wrapped themselves around his waist.

He turned them around and carefully laid her down on the bed before immediately clambering on top of her.

She moaned as he let his fingers drag right up her thigh to the hem of her laced underwear. But he stopped there before going any further.

“Is this okay?” He asked while leaning down to kiss her stomach. “This is what you want?”

“It’s okay,” She told him. “I need you.”

That was all the affirmation Negan needed. He kissed her hip now and left his face close as he used both hands to slowly slide her panties down.

He froze for a moment, caught up in the brilliance of it all, until Carol knotted her fingers into his hair. She pushed his face down, closing the gap.

There was something so invigorating about having his mouth on her. He wondered how it felt for her, the soft caress of his lapping tongue against her clit paired with the roughness of his beard. Judging by the way he was having to hold her body down, it must have felt pretty fucking good.

His dick was uncomfortably hard now and the way she was cussing and crying his name wasn’t helping any.

He’d been rocking his hips, managing to get a little gratitude from grinding against the mattress. The friction felt great but shit, it wasn’t enough. He quickly undid his belt to slide a hand into his pants to seek some relief.

She must have been paying closer attention to what he was doing than he thought because before he knew it their positions somehow shifted and she was on top of him.

He sat with his back pressed against the headboard while she pulled down his pants, and then her fingers were wrapped around him and it was just utter bliss.

She really knew what she was doing.

“Jesus, Carol.” He groaned as she shuffled herself closer until she was straddling his lap again. The pressure of her weight and her warm bare skin against his own felt amazing.

He helped to guide her hips while she held onto his shoulders to steady herself until she was hovering over him in exactly the right position.

He leaned his head back against the wall and watched with bated breath as she slowly began to sink down onto him.

Fuck.

“Fuck,” Carol echoed his thoughts aloud as her nails dug into his shoulders.

They both let out breathy sighs as she stilled to allow herself to settle. Way past the point of needing to ease into things, Negan began moving his hips in a steady rhythm.

Shit, this was worth the wait.

Carol leaned fully forward against his chest. She had one hand clasped around the back of his neck, the other held onto the wooden headboard behind him.

“Slowly,” She quietly pleaded into his ear.

Negan shuddered a groan when she grazed her teeth over the soft skin under his ear. He obliged, more than happy to take his time and make every moment of this last.

Fuck, going slow was hard though. She felt too good and her nails were scraping the space between his shoulder blades now as she tried in vain to cling closer to him, it was driving him wild. He was in real danger of ending the show early here.

And then she sighed his name and he just couldn’t hold back any longer.

The way their arms were wrapped around each other, it was easy for him to get the leverage needed to roll her onto her back. He felt more in control in this position. He took hold of her knees and spread her legs further apart. His deep thrusts into her were steady, slow and long.

She reached up for his neck once more and pulled him down so their chests were pressed together. He buried his face into her neck and nipped at her skin with his teeth, somehow managing to restrain himself from biting down hard enough to leave any marks.

He was close, she was too, he could feel it. She was tightening around him, gripping almost. Their movements became more erratic and off-beat until finally, Negan stilled deep inside of her.

”Jesus, fuck.” He groaned, his nerve endings coming alive and sending sparks of sensation through his body.

His head was spinning but he needed to make sure she felt as good as he did.

He dipped his head to kiss her collarbone and then moved further still to kiss her breast. She whimpered when he took her nipple into his mouth.

He slowly sucked while his hand found its way between her legs, his strong middle finger stroked circles onto her clit causing her to tremble.

“Oh,” She sighed. “Don’t stop”

It wasn’t long before she was crying out his name again…

He fell down onto his back and pulled her into his chest, they were fully entwined in their embrace. He lifted her hand to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

He was back where he belonged.

Chapter Text

Negan had been catching glimpses of Carol in between moments of his restless sleep for what felt like hours now. She was sleeping so peacefully beside him. He could’ve sworn she was actually still smiling a little bit. It was as if his subconsciousness kept waking him, urging him to cherish what could be a fleeting moment of his life.

Each time he drifted back off to sleep, the same scenario kept playing out. Carol would wake in the morning and decide that the whole thing had been a mistake, a drunken misjudgement. She’d ask him to go and that would be that. He’d have to leave and would never see her again.

It could happen and he wouldn’t blame her. He hadn't done a single thing in his life to deserve someone like her.

Daryl’s words echoed around in Negan’s mind too, the warning he gave that made him high-tail it out of Alexandria in the first place. He told him he would ruin her life, that the whole damn town would turn on her and all because of him. And he believed it. He’d rather give her up than hurt her.

Everything Daryl said to him had been right, Negan knew it. Her being associated with him in any way was detrimental. They couldn’t ever be together, not really. He wouldn’t ever be able to call her his. The time they were spending together now was sure to hurt her somewhere down the line.

In his sleepy state of semi-consciousness, he thought about just getting up and leaving while she slept, spare her from feeling bad about any kind of morning-after awkwardness or regret.

Something stirred Negan awake again. His eyes squinted barely open to see that Carol had rolled closer to him. Her hand was flat on his chest.

“You okay?” He asked quietly, not expecting a reply, he wasn’t sure if she had actually woken up. He tried again. “Carol?”

She grumbled a sleepy sound before curling in even closer, her leg hooked over his waist.

“You’re here,” She mumbled against his skin before her breathing slowed and became steady again.

Negan never felt quite a sense of belonging as he did in that single moment.

He slept much better after that, his previous dreams and subconscious worries forgotten entirely.

later

When Carol woke up the next morning, her face was nestled against Negan’s chest. He was holding her body close with one hand resting on her back and the other had a loose grasp of the back of her thigh. She didn’t remember how she got there, but she didn’t mind if he had decided to pull her in closer during the night, it was nice to be waking up in his warm embrace. It felt surreal. This was a moment that she had literally dreamt of happening.

As she lay there with eyes closed, she could hear the gentle beat of his pulse. She focused on the steady sound, using it to distract herself from thinking about the conversations that needed to come next. She focused on the way his chest rose and fell beneath her in time with the sound of his slow, rhythmic breathing, how warm his skin felt against her cheek, the lingering musky scent that was purely his…

Her eyes flickered open.

They’d have to get up soon, it wouldn’t be long before the others would be expecting to hear from her.

The low winter sun had started to creep in from between the gaps in the drapes and softly illuminated the room. The clothes that were left strewn across the floor brought memories of the night before flooding back.

Carol smiled to herself. What a night it was.

Negan’s arms tightened around her as he shifted position slightly. There was nowhere she’d rather be this morning.

After feeling the soft press of lips against her forehead, she glanced up and met his unexpected gaze.

“Mornin’, ” He greeted, his voice low, still thick with sleep. Adoration radiated from his relaxed, heavy eyes.

“Hi,”

“You sleep all right?” He asked, stifling a yawn.

“I did,” She knew damned well that her eyelashes were fluttering at him. Her heart swelled as his fingers began to stroke affectionately up and down her spine. It felt so nice, so comforting. She loved it. And that terrified her. She immediately slid off him, breaking the contact. “Did you?”

“Oh yeah.” Negan’s smile grew into his usual grin as he turned onto his side to face her, their knees were still touching under the blanket, their faces inches apart. “Might’ve been the best night’s sleep I have ever had. Best lay too.”

“Huh,” Carol scoffed. “You know, you were actually quite sweet for a minute there until you open your mouth.”

"I'm not wrong though, right? I mean, before was good—“

“Good?”

"—it was always good. But that last night? Hot damn, that was something else.”

It was somehow endearing how truly mindblown Negan looked, Carol had to laugh.

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” She remarked, unable to stop her fingers from reaching to smooth over the lines on his face.

“Crazy thing is, I think I actually enjoyed myself more beforehand, just hanging out with you,” He took her hand and moved it, holding it close to his chest. “I wanna do that more.”

There it was again, that terrifyingly wonderful feeling that knotted her stomach. She didn’t really know how to answer him, she couldn’t make any promises here. She didn’t know what she wanted, what came next, what they could even have.

She laced her fingers with his. “I had a good time too.”

Negan’s face fell to a lazy smirk. “Don’t get me wrong, the sex helped seal the deal.”

Carol threw an incredulous look to the sky. “And he’s back.”

He beckoned her closer with a nod. “You wanna go again?”

“Absolutely not.” Carol very quickly replied.

She decided now was probably a good time to get out of bed before he did something to render her less than strong-willed.

“Shit, fine. Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Negan chuckled. The bedsheets fell lower down his legs as he sat up to stretch. “What are you doing today?”

Carol began to gather her clothes. “Well, I’ve gotta go find the others, see if they found anything last night, they’re probably wondering why they haven’t heard from me yet.”

Negan made a sound to show he was listening, he was politely looking away as she started to get dressed.

“Then I’m in the bakery this afternoon for a few hours, and then I’m picking the kids up from school.”

“Damn,” He followed suit and got out of bed too, groaning as he stood. He scratched and tousled his hair forward in a vain attempt to get rid of the bedhead. “The hell am I gonna do while off you’re off doing all that?”

“I don’t know, Negan.” Carol handed him his pants and then headed for the bathroom. She kept talking as she washed. “Go enjoy a day in the city. Take a walk in the park, maybe pick up something nice for dinner. The world is your oyster.”

“Mh, sure sounds nice!” Negan called through over the sound of the running faucet. “Guess I better find some money first.”

“I hear sanitation pays well.” She smiled to herself after hearing him laugh.

“They’re gonna think I’m planning on sticking around if I go looking for a job.”

Carol shut off the water and paused. “Aren’t you?”

“You want me to?” He replied quickly.

She didn’t know how to answer.

She took her time finishing up and was thankful that he had chosen to change the topic by the time she reentered the bedroom.

“It is gonna be hella awkward getting across town in last night’s rags.” He grinned just as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll survive. Come on,” She nodded towards the door, “Get outta here.”

Carol followed Negan through the apartment to see him out. He turned to face her as he got to the door, his abrupt stop meant she ended up standing entirely too close to him.

“Are we,“ He faltered, swallowing as he looked down at her. “When am I gonna see you again?”

“When you see me.” She offered.

Truthfully, it was more complicated than that. And she didn’t even want him to leave in the first place, she would have happily spent the rest of the day in bed staring at him.

Negan slowly blinked as they shared a quiet moment, it was like he was inside her head. He seemed to be able to hear what she really wanted to say without her having to tell him.

Carol placed a hand on his cheek and reached up on tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. His face followed hers back down as her heels became planted on the ground, his hands suddenly gripping onto her waist and pulling her close. She could taste his grin as her body moulded against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck, a hand slid up and knotted into his hair.

This wasn’t the quick kiss goodbye she had planned but what could she do? The man was infectious.

“Negan,” She pulled away from him, coming to her senses only moments after toying with the idea of dragging him back to bed.

They were both out of breath and smiling like fools.

She shook her head. “You have gotta go. Unless you want to deal with Ezekiel and Daryl.”

“Yeeah. I am out of here.” Negan laughed while Carol fixed his collar. He dipped an eyebrow. “You got any more exes running around town for me to watch out for?”

Carol physically turned him around and gave him a nudge towards the door.

He gave her one last flash of his grin before he left.

Carol was just tossing Negan’s forgotten jacket over the back of the sofa when there was a knock at her door. She answered it to find two of her closest friends.

“Hey, boss.” Jerry was as cheerful as ever as he bounded inside. Ezekiel trailed in behind looking more serious.

“Is everything all right?” She asked.

“Your walkie's off. We’ve been trying to reach you for hours.” Ezekiel complained.

“Sorry,” Carol made sure to lock the door before continuing their conversation. “How did it go?”

“Not good, Carol dude,” Jerry said, his eyes widening. “Someone beat us to it. We got into her office and it was totally trashed. Like mega.”

Ezekiel nodded to confirm. “This wasn’t somebody with the same idea as us, Carol. The place was wrecked, looked like they were trying to give Milton a message.”

It made sense that someone else would use this same opportunity to get to Milton, the Commonwealth was full of angry people. The lower class were being treated worse as time went on, the tension was bound to snap soon.

“Where’s Daryl?” Carol asked, she assumed that he would have been with them. “He on his way?”

“We thought you might know?” Ezekiel answered. “He hasn’t been in touch since last night.”

“I’ve not seen him.”

“What about Negan,” It seemed to pain him just to say the other man’s name, Zeke was high up on the list of people who hated Negan the most. “You were keeping an eye on him last night, what happened? Did he leave?”

Carol’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

“Have you heard from him today?”

Carol was thankful she didn’t get time to answer before Jerry butted back in.

“We picked up the CA on the radio this morning talking about him, apparently that Hornsby dude saw him leaving the party early. Sounded like right now he’s their only suspect for the trashing, they want to talk to him.”

“But that doesn’t make sense.” Carol wondered aloud, not bothering to explain how she reached her conclusion.

Why would Lance be trying to frame Negan? She knew he’d kept a careful eye on them at the dance the night before, she saw him watching them. If he saw Negan leave, then he definitely saw him leave with her.

Jerry shrugged. “Could’ve been him.”

Ezekiel quickly jumped on board with the accusation. “If he got the information we needed before us he would be able to use it against us. Hold it over our heads for bartering.”

“Yeah. Or he could use it just to try and fit in.” Jerry snickered.

“No,” Carol abruptly put a stop to the slander before making her way through to the kitchen where she kept a radio hidden in the back of a cupboard. The men followed her. “It could have been anyone, there are a lot of people here who are angry with Milton. I spoke with some of them last night, the people who were working mostly. They’re planning a protest.”

“Sure is going to get messy around here soon, Boss.”

Carol ignored Jerry’s apprehension as she turned on the radio. It was tuned to the same frequency as the CA walkies.

‘ …scheduled posts.' She turned it up louder. 'Suspect apprehended. I repeat, return to your scheduled posts.’

“Shit, they’ve got him.” Carol’s stomach dropped. She left the guys without any hesitation or explanation.

“Would it be so bad to just let them have him?” She heard Ezekiel chide as she grabbed her walkie on the way out of the door.

She switched to the channel she shared with only one other.

“Daryl?”

“Negan didn’t do it.”

“Didn’t think he did.”

Carol had to almost run to keep up with Daryl’s long strides. She was following him towards the army offices.

“I don’t understand why Lance would want to frame him. His story’s bullshit.” Her sentences were broken up by breaths of exertion. “Negan was there the whole time. He barely left my side. There’s no way he left. Maybe they’ve got him confused with someone else? There were a lot of people there, it could have been anyone.”

Daryl’s eyes were fixed on the ground as he walked. “Nah, nobody left.”

“How do you know?”

“I was keeping watch.”

“Outside?”

“Mh,” Daryl hummed to confirm.

“You were supposed to be helping the others.”

He shrugged in reply.

Carol sighed, his laconic attitude was getting annoying. "I told you I was handling it. I’m a big girl, I don’t need you checking in on me.”

“Ain’t you I was checkin’ in on.”

“Look, I know you don’t trust Negan but," Carol suddenly remembered what she got up to out on the street last night. Shit. “How long did you stay?”

“Long enough.” Before Carol got the chance to question him further, Daryl was heading inside. “Wait here.”

meanwhile

“Oh, come on.” Negan leaned back in his chair. He was sitting across the table from two Commonwealth army officers.

He hadn’t even made it halfway back to where he was staying before he was apprehended. They wouldn’t even tell him what he was being accused of. Negan sure as shit wasn’t about to give them anything.

“Stop being difficult, answer the question. Why did you leave early?” The soldier who Negan had named Prickhead One asked.

“Listen, I’m just pointing out that this whole 'leaving early' thing is kinda bullshit. Entirely subjective. And I don’t even own a watch so how am I to know if it was early or not?”

“So you did leave?” Prickhead Two piped up.

“Well,” Negan was enjoying this, he cocked his eyebrow. “Given I’m not still there? Sure.”

These guys were setting themselves up far too easily.

Back to Prickhead One. “You didn’t sign in to the temporary holding last night, why is that?”

Negan heard the door behind him swing open and shut again, he didn’t bother turning around to see what Prickhead Three looked like.

“Don’t you guys need a warrant or some shit to keep me here?” He dodged yet another of their questions. “Or do we only play by some of the old world rules?”

One tried again. “Where did you go if you didn’t go to the holdings?”

“Fellas.” Negan pointed his face to the sky as he laughed incredulously. He then leaned forward with both elbows on the table. “Do I really have to spell it out? Shit. There’s a reason why I’m still in last night’s clothes. I have no idea what went down last night that has your panties in a twist, but it was nothing to do with me.”

“He’s telling the truth.”

Damn, Prickhead Three had a familiar voice. Negan finally turned his head to see it was Daryl standing behind him.

Daryl continued, “I was there last night. He was still in the hall at 1900 when the disturbance was reported. If the two are connected like we think, then that ain’t our guy.”

The other two officers looked at each other before both huffing and closing over their notepads.

“Waste of time,”

“Could’ve used that information thirty minutes ago, Dixon.” One looked seriously pissed off. He pointed at Negan. “You can leave. Now.”

“All right, but hey.” Negan almost winced in pain as he slowly stood up, his back was killing him today. “I am more than happy to come back and answer any further questions.”

“Do you need a medic?” Turns out Prickhead Two was actually more caring than he appeared.

“No,” Negan grinned. “Just danced a little too hard with my gal last night, if you catch my drift.”

“Hey, we’ve all been there,”

“I’m sure it was worth it.” Looks like Prickhead One was coming round too, he held the door open for Negan to leave.

Daryl walked in silence as he led Negan through the corridor that would eventually take them back outside.

“Did you set this up?” Negan asked. He chuckled when Daryl didn’t answer. “I saw you watching us last night. A little pervy but hey, can’t blame ya. That woman is a sweet dancer. Ain’t all that’s sweet about her either.”

Daryl kept quiet as he pushed open a steel door that opened out to where Carol was waiting for them.

Negan was still grinning to himself, his good mood hadn’t been dampened any by the experience. “Thanks for that, man. I really thought they — “

Before he could finish, Daryl turned around and threw a punch that hit him square in the jaw.

“Shit,”

“Daryl!” Carol rushed over to put herself between the two men, breaking the hold Daryl had of Negan’s shirt.

“You stay away from her, ya hear!?” Daryl was still managing to get into Negan’s face despite Carol’s attempts to push him back.

“Wowee,” Negan laughed as he wiped away blood from the corner of his mouth, “Someone is a little jealous.”

“Stop it!” Carol tried her hardest to keep the men apart but her efforts didn’t work.

Daryl broke free from her grip and lunged for Negan once more. Negan ducked out of the way of a swinging fist, managing to grab Daryl’s torso and use momentum to tackle him to the ground.

Negan clenched his fist, holding it high and furiously poised to strike as he held Daryl pinned down beneath him.

“Negan!”

Carol’s voice caught Negan’s attention. The rage fell from his face as he glanced over to her, his fist lowering.

Daryl took the opportunity to knee him in the stomach.

“Fuck,” Negan groaned, doubled over in pain. He fell to the ground while Daryl stood back up.

Carol pushed herself between them once more. “That’s enough.”

“It ain’t ever gonna be enough with him!” Daryl pointed his finger at her as he yelled.

“You know,” Negan grimaced, holding his ribs as he sat up. “You can yell all you want. Hit me again. It ain’t gonna work this time, buddy.”

Daryl’s shoulders rose and fell with each raging breath he took. He flinched when Carol placed her hand on his chest.

“Please.”

He looked at her, and then down at Negan.

“Stay the fuck away from my family,” Daryl gave his warning quietly before shrugging away from Carol’s touch.