Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Damon couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. It had been shocking, seeing her standing there, talking to Will and picking up a package, after over a century of him believing that she was trapped in a tomb. He’d recently felt his emotions making attempts at flickering back on and was thinking often about going back to Mystic Falls to see whatever the remaining living resident Salvatores were up to.

First, he’d figured he’d go ahead and get some updated identification, resetting his age on a newer ID down to twenty-one since his current id’s birth date had him aged to forty-seven years old by now. It’d been almost a few decades since he’d been back to Billy’s after the rooftop incident with Lexi. So, he’d been shocked to find that the subject of his affections, no, obsessions and despair, had been apparently doing the same damn thing at the same time. Granted, she’d snuck in the back and was in the middle of making out with ol’ Will, probably just to get her newest identification as a freebie.

“Katherine?” He’d stood there like a dumbstruck fool, shock and a smorgasboard of feelings solidifying his emotional switch setting to on, the overwhelming guilt of the last fifty years of bad behavior being overshadowed by the sight of that woman climbing down from Will’s hold, releasing her legs from the other vampire’s waist where he’d been slammed against the wall.

“Damon?” Both of the other vampires were just as surprised to see him, but Katherine also looked extremely annoyed.

“Hey, man, been awhile, you mind giving me a few more minutes, I mean, I’m kinda busy, no offense?” Will had started to say, before Katherine had broken the vampire’s neck, watching as he’d thumped to the ground.

“Ugh, this is the worst timing, Damon, and Will wasn’t supposed to ever hear my real name. He was supposed to think I was Kristen, turned in 1911, and for the last fifty years he’s been supplying me with new identities, but now I’ll need a new guy,” her irritation was palpable, and a horrible thought crossed Damon’s mind.

“You’re telling me that you’ve been out of the tomb since 1911? Twenty plus years ago I was giving Will most of the ID’s he used to sell to people. You must have seen me around here in the sixties and seventies, does that mean you were hiding from me with one of the identities that I gave him? Why didn’t you tell me that you broke out? I’ve been trying to find a way to get you free ever since 1864! Who managed to open the tomb early for you?” Damon didn’t know what answers he wanted more. Then he’d decided that he didn’t care because she was here, now, and free! Not giving her a chance to answer he’d rushed over and grabbed her in his arms in a tight embrace, and went to kiss her, but she turned her head away.

“Damon, stop! Yes, I’ve been out of the tomb, but no one broke me out. I escaped before it was sealed. I needed everyone to think that I was either dead or trapped. You weren’t supposed to find me yet, it’s too soon and I wasn’t planning on this. I’m supposed to have fifteen years left of freedom to prepare for that stupid comet returning!” She pushed Damon away, swearing out loud over being caught. It was bad enough when Anna had spotted her in the early eighties, but this was even worse!

“Wait, what? I don’t understand, Katherine, why would you hide from me?” Damon was failing to comprehend anything right now.

By the time Katherine finished telling him that she’d avoided him and anyone else that might recognize her because she didn’t want to be found, his head was spinning. Then she closed the conversation off by telling him that she never wanted to see him again, that she’d never loved him, and that he would only get her killed. All that, and after telling him that he needed to forget about her once and for all and find another reason to live, and that if he tried to follow her again then she’d be forced to kill him, she’d snapped his neck as well.

A few hours later, he’d woken up in a coat closet that Will had tossed him in, having woken up first. Hours later after that, he’d gotten his newest ID in a daze after drinking and practically sobbing in a back room to his old acquaintance, who’d taken some pity on him, shocked that ‘Kristen’ had actually turned out to be Damon’s long lost ex, Katherine. Apparently, Will had supplied her with dozens of identities over the last several decades, never really knowing or caring who she actually was. Turns out she’d never paid cash for any of her purchases, either. Damon had to cut Will off when the guy started graphically talking about his latest exploits with her...

Finally, Damon had come to the devastating realization that Katherine had utterly destroyed him, and that everything in his life since meeting her in 1864 had been one giant lie. She’d destroyed his life, gotten him and his little brother killed for nothing, and abandoned them, and he’d even lost his brother because of the resentment and giant rift she’d caused between them. The biggest kick in the ass of all though, was that she’d apparently stopped by to get a student ID created for Whitmore College back in 1957, so it was either the worst coincidence ever, or she probably even knew that he was being held captive and let him rot rather than stage a jailbreak. Hell, for all he knew, maybe Katherine even compelled Joseph and set him up in the first place so that he would never be able to open the tomb and find out that she wasn’t there. She had been the entire reason he’d left Enzo there in the first place. If he’d died there, she would have been trapped in the tomb forever. He’d abandoned his best friend to death so that he could live and save her and now this.

His emotions were all over the place. He couldn’t stop drinking but refused to turn them back off again. Not after his already decades long bender. What would be the point? All he wanted to do now was to find his brother and see if there was any possibility of fixing what was so broken. He’d give his ruined relationship with Stefan one more chance to be fixed, and if that didn’t work this time, then he had no more reason to exist.

That meant he’d have to find Stefan first, and he knew that the first place to look would be Mystic Falls, because Stefan went back to their hometown to visit far more often than Damon. If he could figure out where his brother had gone after the last time he’d visited, maybe he’d be able to pick up Stefan’s trail. It was possible that Stefan had recently talked to the latest human Salvatore or if not he’d likely have left new journals behind.

When Damon arrived in Mystic Falls, he snagged a newspaper, and found himself bummed to see that Kurt Cobain had offed himself. At the same time, he knew that if Stefan rejected him this time, he was to the point that he may just do the same to himself, only he’d just leave his ring in the doorway along with a pile of ash. Or perhaps he’d be less dramatic and just head back to the quarry to toss in the ring and wait for sunrise, where he’d meant to die a hundred and thirty years ago, instead of ever turning into a vampire in the first place.

Damon observed the house for a few hours before deciding to approach, so he’d seen that his brother was already there, inserting himself into the lives of their half-brother’s great-however many times grandson. The man’s name was Zach Salvatore, and he apparently had a pregnant girlfriend. That alone would make Stefan extra difficult to sway, because Stefan would likely be even more protective if there was a child soon to be in the family. If Damon was going to try to get in, it needed to be now, before a new baby Salvatore was born.

This was Damon’s final chance, and he hoped it didn’t backfire, yet again. He was beyond relieved that Lexi Branson didn’t seem to be around, since he wouldn’t stand a chance if she was here to influence Stefan against him. So, with a deep breath, Damon approached the boarding house to knock on the door, muttering to himself, “Here goes everything.”

Damon rang the doorbell while holding his breath longer than any human, and finally turned back around to see Stefan standing there once the door opened. His nerves got the best of him, even worse than when he first began courting women as a young human. Rather that show his vulnerability, he tried to divert Stefan’s attention to the newspaper he’d picked up on the way in.

“Ready for some bad news?” Damon held up the paper showing the front page article about Kurt Cobain’s suicide, chuckling and attempting to walk past Stefan, only to be blocked by a new anti-vampire household barrier. Right. He hadn’t been in the house since Joseph Jr, Zach’s old man and the son of ol’ Joe from ‘53, had once accidentally invited him in while still a child. Zach was lucky to have ever been born since Damon had had his humanity off at the time, but was only there briefly to grab some stuff shortly after escaping Augustine. Apparently JJ had already passed the torch on to Zach now and Damon hadn’t been invited to the funeral.

Stefan just stood there, leaning against the wall, a bemused look on his face. It was possible that their reunion was going to be even shorter than Damon had expected, but Damon had to try, muttering, “Barely seen you in fifty years, Stefan. You could invite a brother in?”

Stefan wasn’t going to make this easy, responding, “Give me one good reason why.”

“Check your answering machine, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf,” Damon was not going to beg, dammit.

“Oh, I heard your message. I also heard you sent Lexi some flowers, seventeen years after you left her to burn to death on a rooftop,” Stefan replied.

“Well…” Damon began to say, but he was still a bit too drunk to come up with anything good.

Luckily, Stefan started to relent a bit, “It's a little late, but I see you're trying to make amends. I just want to know why.”

There was no way in hell that Damon was ready to talk about Katherine yet, “Uh, well, I can tell you this, Stefan...I'm tired of tearing up New York City. And, maybe it's the partying, or maybe it's my conscience...

“Well, I believe that would require one,” Stefan interrupted again.

Damon ignored the snark and went back to rambling, “and then, I had this moment of clarity, and I said, ‘Wouldn't it be great if I just woke up in my own bed and could have a fresh start?’”

It was at this point that Zach showed up, greeting him, “You must be Damon.”

Damon saluted him, and Stefan went ahead with an introduction, “Damon, this is, uh, Zach Salvatore. He owns the house now, he knows the family history, and I told him if you got out of line, I'd take care of you myself.”

Damon inwardly cringed, and outwardly complained, “Why are you always expecting the worst out of me, Stefan?”

Thankfully, Stefan finally gave in, saying, “Oh, I don't. Otherwise, I wouldn't allow this,” as he nodded to Zach.

Damon was a little confused, because that seemed far too easy. Maybe he was just confused because he’d been drinking so much and it wasn’t as easy as he thought? His concept of time passing wasn’t the best after so much bourbon. Days, weeks, hours, minutes, it all just blurred together. He might have been standing here longer than he thought.

Zach immediately called out, “Come on in, Damon.”

Damon wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, right? “Huh,” he said as he smiled and walked in, tapping Stefan on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

Stefan seemed strangely cooperative, asking, “You ready to start over?”

“Hell yeah,” Damon replied. This was much better than tossing off his ring. For a few moments he’d even been able to forget what Katherine had done. Maybe he’d even tell Stefan about it once he sobered up. Nope, probably not. What he would do, was get a good nights sleep in a big old bedroom of his own.

Damon just hoped that there were plenty of single ladies boarding here that he could make up for lost time with a few of them tonight. Then again, did he really care if they were single? Not so much, especially right now. All that mattered was that he managed not to kill any of them, so that Stefan wouldn’t turn him away. He’d do his best to snatch, eat, erase, and he wouldn’t pull any shit with Stefan. This visit was too important and he needed it to work out. He could still have fun without getting murderey. Plus, maybe Zach wouldn’t be so bad, either. The man seemed friendly enough, and Damon missed having family, too. Even if Zach’s grandfather Joseph had been a bad egg.

He was still feeling a bit rough though, so he’d claimed it had been a long few days and he wanted to go up to take a load off in his room, which he did. He also managed to snag one of the guests that was boarding next to him, a pretty young delicate thing, she was. Thankfully she was quite a naughty vixen and they had a great time together. She didn’t even complain when he bit her a little, but he was careful not to take much, but he still compelled her not to be afraid or remember it. He got her on the inside of her thigh right after her orgasm, so he’d just have to compel her to wear something a little longer.

Soon enough he passed out, and when he walked out of his room the next morning with a girl that appeared healthy and happy, Stefan looked her over but didn’t notice anything amiss, so he said nothing. Damon raised an eyebrow at Stefan as his brother inspected her undamaged neckline. Everything seemed to be going great!

Later that morning, Damon was spending some quality time outside with Stefan, wiping down the cars. Stefan had taken the opportunity to tease him for unsuspectingly drinking some disgusting squirrelly blood, which nearly made him barf. Apparently his still brother wasn’t on human blood. That would make things more difficult, since Stefan wanted Damon to share in his misery of being sick and weak, and Damon could barely swallow the mouthful from his brother’s flask. That meant that now he would have to hide his feeding habits, which wasn’t a good thing. Unfortunately, Stefan just didn’t compromise and had unrealistic expectations sometimes. Still, leaving wasn’t an option for Damon, because he had nowhere else to go or any other reason to care about his existence besides bonding with Stefan.

He made some joking remarks about taking over the boarding house and getting in with Gail when Zach’s girlfriend showed up in the doorway and went to kiss her boyfriend as he brought in some groceries. Of course Stefan had to take him seriously, and warned Damon that the humans were on vervain and that he was to back off. It was in Damon’s nature to take that as an invitation, despite the fact that he’d rather avoid harming either of them. After all, they were family, but the vervain had to go.

Once Damon figured out out that the vervain was in their coffee he did what any rational vampire would do and swapped it out for fresh stuff. After a few days he did a taste test on them and simply compelled them both to forget. This way, if either of them ever caught him snacking on any other guests he could just compel them not to notice that either. It was all just a safety precaution so that Stefan wouldn’t find out that Damon couldn’t stomach that awful animal diet.

Damon was being careful and wasn’t hurting anyone, just grazing, getting fresh sips here and there to supplement those gross stale blood bags, which he also had to hide. Eventually his brother would back off, and by the time he found out that Damon still drank from humans, he’d be fine with it since Damon would have proved that he could do it without anyone getting hurt. Right?

As the days turned into a few weeks, Damon found that the pain of finding out that Katherine didn’t care about him was slowly fading. In a way, he finally felt more free than he ever had, and was glad that he found out early, fifteen years before the comet returned. He was really starting to love being back home, and had even made friends with Zach and Gail, both of whom seemed to really trust him. The guests were great; he’d usually feed from them on their last night before they left, to minimize getting caught by Stefan. His brother was even becoming a bit less suspicious towards him, even if he was still rather uptight and still insisting that animal blood was the only acceptable form of blood in this house. Damon tried not to argue with him, and just hid his feeding habits to avoid conflict since the whole goal was brother bonding.

Unfortunately, Damon still didn’t feel quite ready to be honest with him, yet. Something was telling him that he needed to hold back for a while longer. Part of that was because any time Damon spent the night with guests, Stefan was still giving him looks of distrust, even when the girls left with pep in their step.

The thing was, Damon needed to cuddle with someone at night or he’d start having bad dreams again. Ever since his humanity had come back on, he found that being alone at night meant having nightmares about Augustine. As if the thought of that horrible place and the torture he’d suffered wasn’t bad enough, it would also remind him of how he’d let Enzo die. That, to him, was by far the most painful, crippling guilt of any of the demons in his past hundred years, and he’d definitely never talk to anyone about it, especially Stefan. Stefan wouldn’t want to hear about Damon’s problems, it would only make him worry about the safety of the humans around them.

So, he kept the nightmares at bay by bringing a boarding guest into his room to sleep with every night. He didn’t even always have sex or feed on them. Sometimes he just had them hold him so he could get a good night’s sleep. That was definitely not something he planned on admitting, ever. Although, maybe after a few months, Stefan would be ready to accept that Damon was really here to start over and ‘brother bond’, and then he could share the news about Katherine. Damon certainly didn’t want anything to go wrong now.

Tomorrow, Zach and Gail were going to be throwing a big party, with some of the townies invited as well. Apparently, there was going to be an eclipse. Damon was looking forward to it, because it meant even more people to possibly feed from, or maybe just flirt with or befriend. Or, well... cuddle. Either way, his mood had been steadily improving and he was finally starting to feel happy again. Happiness was such a foreign feeling, but he welcomed it, and was finally at a point where the guilt had been shoved away and compartmentalized, without needing to turn his emotions off. A party would be a lot of fun, and maybe even Stefan would enjoy it for once!

Chapter Text

Stefan sat there in his room with his head in his hands, lost in the memories. The death and blood from the party. His brother’s expression as he realized what he’d done. Finding the pile of ash at the quarry, the only signs as to the identity being the ring buried in it and the singed journal that was clearly meant to burn with him. The journal…he slammed it closed. Stefan didn’t even know why he bothered still reading the thing. He’d had it all memorized for a long time. It had been sixty years since he’d found what was left of his brother. Since he’d read the journal to try and figure out what the hell his brother was thinking. Since he’d learned the truth about himself and how cruel and hateful and wrong he’d been.

The entire house was boarded up save for the window in his room. The whole town thought the boarding house was haunted he knew, and he wasn’t helping with one light in the place going on and off. A battery powered lamp, since he didn’t bother keeping the electricity on. He had his cell phone and went out to feed a few times a week at a little café where he charged it. He didn’t use it much. Just to check messages once a day and make the calls to witches begging for help. And he’d just hit yet another dead end, hence his current mood and perusal of the journal that he’d long since memorized. Aside from his feeding trips, and one other time per year, he never left the house. Whatever time he wasn’t spending in his room, he was walking through the house letting the memories wash over him. Memories tainted with blood and death.

That journal had opened his eyes so much. It had apparently only been started just before Damon had arrived. When he got his humanity back. A way to work out his feelings and his frustrations. It talked a lot about the past though. Like how alone Damon felt. All the time. How desperately he just wanted his little brother back. How in nineteen-twelve Damon had been worried about Stefan with how sick and weak the animal blood kept him. How Damon was so sure that he could teach Stefan control if he would just /let/ him. But Stefan had been too poisoned against him already to try. And he hated himself for it.

He learned how Damon had been there to go with him in forty-two. After he read that was the last time he saw Lexi. He’d threatened to kill her if she ever came near him again. Learning that Damon had begged her to help him before leaving in eighteen sixty-five just piled on to that. She’d intentionally kept him isolated from his brother. It was at least partially her fault that Damon was dead now. He knew it was mostly his fault though. He carried the majority of the blame. And not just for letting her manipulate him. For so so much more. Most importantly what happened in ninety-four. The bane of his nightmares.

He learned of the Augustines through the journal. Every horrific torture that his brother had endured for five long years. He learned of Enzo, the other prisoner that died the day he’d escaped. How Damon had left him and why. That Katherine was supposedly sealed in a tomb and only Damon knew how to get her out and if Damon died there, she would be trapped forever. The only person he hated more than himself was Katherine. And he’d finally managed to kill her about thirty years ago. And had barely left the house since. The only thing he had left was his attempts to fix it all. To bring his brother back one way or another. Even if it meant reversing time. He was losing hope though. And he didn’t know how to get it back.

He'd started studying psychology in depth after reading the journal. Learning what Damon had been struggling with. The flashbacks, the nightmares, the phantom pains, the emotional instability. Damon had hid it well. Until the day of the eclipse when it all fell apart. He wished he could say that if he’d known the extent of it then that he would have been different, but he just didn’t know. And that was the worst part of all. He had a library that any psychologist would drool over. Every book that had ever been written on the subject. His room had all the best one. The rest were scattered around the library on the lower floors. And anywhere else that had room. The house was a disaster, but Stefan didn’t care.

Once he’d started studying psychology, he’d figured out his own issues with human blood. His first taste of human blood had been killing his own father. And then he’d immediately turned it off and became a true monster. Whether he had been already just from killing his father was debatable, but afterwards definitely. His mind learned to equate human blood with death and being a monster and that created a sort of feedback loop that only the mind could create. And it had controlled him for far too long. And contributed to his loss of his brother when he transferred his own feelings on human blood to Damon, despite the fact that Damon had perfect control. Usually.

He'd decided back then that he was going to get over it. He was going to learn control to honor his brother’s memory. With no one to help him though, he would have to do it the hard way. The way Damon had. And that meant a lot of death before he figured it out. But he could at least kill people who deserved it. For a vampire, a maximum security prison was child’s play. A little compulsion to make them think there was an extra prisoner and he was free to practice and learn to his heart’s content. And save the taxpayers some money in the process. These people were never getting out again so it didn’t matter. A little more compulsion to have the deaths ruled as suicide when possible or get them looking elsewhere or covering it up.

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, learning control. So many died, but more kept coming in. The worst of the worst. The expendable lives. This was the only way he could live with himself. He refused to turn it off again. No matter how bad it got. With everything Damon endured before he broke, and then everything he’d suffered after getting it back and dying before he would turn it off again, it would be an insult to his memory for Stefan to take the easy way out, so he endured. So many deaths as he fought and struggled to find control. To retrain his mind. To /believe/ that he could do it. For Damon. That was his constant mantra. For Damon. Everything was for Damon. Six months he’d spent as a prisoner there before he could finally manage to control himself. The last month was just testing himself. Feeding on the prisoners regularly without killing anyone. And then one more compulsion to leave and make them forget he’d ever been there.

After that was when he started hunting Katherine and got the idea to find a witch to bring Damon back somehow. Since then, he was on a good human blood diet and he could immediately tell the changes. Not just in his health, but in his confidence. He even believed that he could learn to have fun and be happy if not for the gaping hole in his life where his brother should be. He sighed as his introspection faded and he opened the journal again. To the last entry. The one that he had the most memorized, but seeing the words in Damon’s handwriting, recognizable even with as shaky as it was. It felt fitting to remember this after yet another failure.

Well I’ve finally done it. Crossed a line that I could never come back from. And lost everything that could ever matter in the process. Stefan will never forgive me for this. Nor will I ever forgive myself for this. The last thing I could have lived for gone in one moment of mindlessness. I don’t even know what I was thinking. It was like my mind was right back there at that party so long ago. I didn’t know where I was. And I lost control. I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t risk that again. Most importantly, I can’t spend the rest of my eternity alone anymore. No, it’s time. I swore when I got my humanity back that I would die before I turned it off again. It’s time to prove it.

The writing got steadier after that as the entry continued.

I would have thought that I’d be more emotional about what I’m planning. Fear, despair, hopelessness…something. But I’m not. Now that I’ve decided, all I feel is peace. I won’t have to fight anymore. I won’t have to feel any of those things. I won’t have to worry about what I’m going to screw up next. I won’t have to worry about destroying my brother’s life just by existing. Maybe he can find peace with me gone. Find the life he wants. Find happiness. While I just get to end. Fade into oblivion and take all the poison I spread in this world with me.

Fresh tears joined the dried ones on that page as Stefan read again the last thing his brother ever wrote. He could see him in his minds eye, sitting at the quarry writing it all before tucking the journal into his jacket and taking off his ring. The worst part for him was reading his own words in Damon’s last message. Even worse than his brother’s hopes that by dying he would be saving him. It was this entry that he always read when he had a setback in his mission. It was this entry that gave him the strength and hope to keep going. Keep trying. And when he lost that…if he ever lost that…he would join his brother.

Chapter Text

Stefan waited wearily for the right date, making one last entry in his own journal before hiding it with the rest in a hole in the attic wall. Seventy-four years to the day since he lost his brother and he was out of ideas. Out of strength. Out of hope. He took his one precious possession, Damon’s journal, and went where he always went this day every year. For the last time. He sat down on the banks of the quarry, the same spot that he and his brother had made their pact to die as humans more than two hundred years ago. The same spot where Damon had finally ended his torment seventy-four years ago. He sat there and opened the journal for one final read. One last time to see his brother’s elegant loopy handwriting.

“I’ve seen you here, on this same day every year, ever since I was a little girl,” an old woman came up to sit next to him. “And yet you never age a day.”

“Because I’m immortal,” Stefan said emotionlessly, not even caring anymore.

“And what is it that brings you to this same spot every year on this same day?” she asked curiously.

“My brother,” Stefan sighed. He might as well share a bit of their story before the end. “He was immortal too…until he chose to end his life. Right here on this spot. Seventy-four years ago,” Stefan said hauntedly. Saying the words aloud brought the memory rushing back into his mind. Looking for Damon to make him pay for what he’d done. Finding the pile of ash instead.

“I would imagine, as hard as it is for humans to lose someone, it would be even more difficult for immortals,” the old woman said as she tucked her legs up under her.

Stefan didn’t have any headspace available to wonder how someone so old was so spry and limber to be sitting comfortably on the ground like that. “It was my fault,” he admitted. “He was struggling. Hurting. Had been through things that…that no one should ever have to. I didn’t know. He came to me for help. I turned my back on him, because…it doesn’t matter why. It was such a stupid fight…” the tears streamed down Stefan’s cheeks.

“Fights between brothers usually are,” the woman said sympathetically. “What’s that book?”

“His journal,” Stefan trailed his fingers over the pages. “He meant it to be destroyed with him, but it survived. And this,” Stefan turned it to show the ring that he’d weaved into the binding. “His ring. That matched mine. D for Damon,” he said, voice shaking. It was the first time he’d said his brother’s name aloud in decades.

“And you have been torturing yourself with it for so long?” the woman asked.

“Not torturing…well yes, I suppose in a way. But more driving myself. Trying to find a way to bring him back. To fix things. But I’m out of ideas now,” Stefan sighed and closed the book. “There’s nothing else to try. So if I can’t bring him back here…I’ll go wherever he is and find him.” Stefan turned his ring over on his hand.

“Do you think that’s what he would want?” the old woman asked.

“No. He would want me to live. To be happy. To be free. He said so,” Stefan tapped the journal. “But that’s impossible. My only choices now are to become the monster he feared for us both…or to join him. He chose to die rather than to give into the monster. I can do no less.” Because he too would turn it all off if it didn’t end soon.

The woman smiled slightly before saying, “Your heart is pure, Stefan Salvatore.”

“Wait, how did you…” he turned to look at her for the first time. He never told her his name. He never spoke to anyone at all for her to learn it.

“Your pleas have been heard. Good luck,” she reached over to tap him on the head.

“What do you…” Stefan asked and then realized she was gone. He looked around to find her and noticed that he wasn’t in the same place. No, he was, he figured out after a second. But it was still different. More trees. The park around them was different. Like a different time…oh god. He jumped to his feet and grabbed a man jogging around the park. “What’s the date?”

“May tenth,” the guy said nervously, struggling a bit in the tight grip.”

“The year. What year?” Stefan asked frantically.

“Nineteen ninety-four…” the guy said as though wondering if Stefan should be in a mental institution.

“Nineteen ninety-four…Damon…” Stefan breathed out before letting the guy go, dashing into the nearby woods and then putting on the vampire speed to race for the boarding house. Please please please don’t let him be too late. Even if he couldn’t prevent this day though, he still had a chance to save his brother. As much as he would like to save all those other lives, he would trade them in a second for Damon. Even Gail. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

He heard before he got there and felt the white hot rage at himself as he heard his voice say, “I wanted it to be different, but you just keep failing.”

“Guess that’s a no on the roadtrip huh?” future Stefan heard Damon say and he picked up the pace.

“That’s a no…” was as far as past Stefan got before future Stefan barrelled into him and completely lost his shit.

“Shut up!” he screamed punching his past self in the face. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He punched repeatedly, sitting on his stomach. “I hate you! You asshole! I hate you! I hate you!” he cried, getting out seventy-four years of self-loathing on the one person who deserved it the most. Right up until his past self completely dissolved, leaving Damon’s ring there on the ground. That was when Stefan realized…Damon…and he hadn’t said a word…he turned to look at Damon, seeing him staring at nothing. His eyes were blank like he wasn’t even there anymore. He looked up and saw the shadow just starting to move across the sun. Shit.

Stefan grabbed the ring and rushed over to slide it on Damon’s shaking hand. He refused to hold the ring hostage until Damon was himself again. No, whatever happened, Damon had to have his ring. He just had to. Stefan would just have to trust himself to keep Damon under control. He did have seventy-four years on him now, so he was stronger and faster. Plus he’d been on human blood for most of that time. He could handle this without resorting to such cruelty.

No sooner than Stefan got the ring on Damon’s finger, Damon exploded into motion, still not seeing Stefan at all and he knew that Damon was lost in the past. Stefan wrapped his arms around Damon, pinning his brother’s arms to his side and held him tightly, digging in for the struggle. “Hey, Damon. It’s alright. Everything’s fine. Just breathe. Listen to my voice,” he said in an even cadence. “It’s Stefan. Your brother. This isn’t nineteen fifty-eight. This isn’t the Augustine party. It’s nineteen ninety-four. You’re home. You’re safe. Just listen to my voice.”

Stefan kept up the mantra, just waiting for it to penetrate as he fought against Damon’s struggles. He did lose his grip at one point and Damon raced for the house, but Stefan was faster. He grabbed Damon from behind and blurred him to the side, pinning him against the outer wall of the boarding house as he continued trying to talk him down. “It’s alright, brother. You’re home. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” It took a few more minutes before Damon stopped fighting, so Stefan slowly let him go. He knew restraining him wasn’t particularly helpful, but under the circumstances, there wasn’t much choice.

He turned Damon around so he wasn’t face against the wall and he could see his eyes as he took half a step back. Damon just slid down the wall to sitting, trembling getting worse as he hugged his knees to his chest. “No more…please…it burns…Enzo…I’m sorry…” he babbled brokenly.

Stefan knelt down in front of him and took Damon’s face in his hands, forcing his face up to his. “It’s okay, Damon. You’re home. You’re safe. Look at me, Damon. Listen to my voice. Breathe with me,” Stefan coaxed him the rest of the way out of the past slowly and patiently, living out everything he’d wished he’d done the last time. Being what his brother needed rather than just walking away. He would be everything Damon needed for as long as he needed him. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. When Damon’s eyes finally focused on him, Stefan gave a relieved smile, digging his fingers comfortingly into the back of Damon’s neck, and said, “There you are, brother.”

When Damon cursed, shoved him away, and blurred into the house, Stefan let him go this time. For a minute at least. To show trust. He’d proven that he could catch Damon. That he could hold him. Now he had to prove that he trusted him. Now that he was all there and back in his right mind. He was only a few seconds behind though. Damon didn’t need to be alone right now. And he needed to make things right after the display earlier. The fact that he actually had the chance to do so, really started hitting him and he couldn’t help the bright smile that lit his face.

Chapter Text

Stefan got up to Damon’s room to find him already blurring around the room, packing his things. Stefan was both hopeful and fearful at that. If he was planning to die, he wouldn’t be packing, but he was clearly planning on leaving. “What are you doing?” he asked leaning against the doorframe.

“Leaving,” Damon said curtly, slowing down to human speed. He knew that the speeds he was moving at tended to distort sounds.

“Okay, then I’ll come with you,” Stefan said, deciding going along was better than arguing for the moment.

“What happened to ‘leaving a trail of bodies’ and ‘laughing at your suffering’?” Damon scoffed.

“I’m not the same Stefan who said those things, Damon. And I’m sorry.” He had to stop himself from pouring his heart out, knowing that would just make things worse right this minute, but he had to at least say that much.

“What are you talking about, Stefan?” Damon asked suspiciously, pausing in his packing to look at his brother. “You’ve changed,” he realized. More than just the different clothes. And a shirt that he recognized having just put it in his bag.

“I’m from the future,” Stefan said, pulling the battered and singed journal from the inside pocket of his jacket and tossing it on Damon’s desk.

Damon sucked in a sharp breath and blurred back to his bed, lifting the mattress and pulling out the identical book. Save for the ravages of time of course. And when he picked them up to compare them, he saw his ring weaved into the binding of Stefan’s. “How did you get that?” Damon asked, trying to make sense of what was going on.

“I found it in your ashes at the quarry two days from now,” Stefan said sadly. “And then spent seventy-four years trying to find a way to get you back.”

“Why? Why would you care? I ruin your life just by existing remember?”

“And you promised me an eternity of misery remember?” Stefan asked wryly. “We all say things we don’t mean when we’re upset. The difference is, you had good reason to be upset. I was just being an asshole.”

“I’m not following,” Damon said, still suspicious, but not quite as much so.

“Will you let me explain my actions? Will you listen?” Stefan asked hopefully. “Not that there’s any justification for them, but understanding can still help.”

Damon considered a moment before taking both journals, old and new, over to sit on his bed as he nodded. He noticed Stefan twitching to take the journal from him, but he stopped himself. “I’m listening.”

“When you left in eighteen sixty-five, I felt abandoned. I was hurt. And rather than face that, and my role in that, I put it all on you. And started to resent you. But you were still my brother. And when I saw you again in nineteen-twelve, all I wanted was to get that back. But I had my head all messed up. See with my first taste of human blood being our father and then turning off my humanity right after, I could only equate human blood with evil and death. So you being on human blood felt like I was losing my brother to that and I wanted to help you. To fix you. I couldn’t see that /I/ was the one who needed fixed. But you did. And you tried. And I thank you for that.”

“You’re on human blood now,” Damon realized.

“I am. Once I realized the problem I was able to overcome it. But it wasn’t easy, let me tell you. I checked myself into a supermax prison and stayed there for six months until I could eat the other inmates without killing them. I wanted to do it for you. To show you that you were right. To…honor your memory and make you proud.”

“I am proud, Stef,” Damon said with a smile. “I knew you could do it.”

“Yeah. You did. I wish I had listened to you sooner,” Stefan said sadly. “In forty-two…I never knew that you were going to come. Lexi never told me. I just saw it as another abandonment. A taunting one even. And it hurt. And I didn’t understand why so I let that hurt fester into hate. But then, when I realized the truth…it was myself I hated. Far more than I ever hated you. I should have looked for you in fifty-three. I should have found you and got you out of there. I didn’t know, but that’s no excuse. I should have known. I should have dug deeper into Joseph’s murder. I should have figured it out and saved you. The only thing I hate myself for more is what’s been happening here.”

“Why did you come after me like that? I wasn’t hurting anyone. I though…if I could prove that I could feed without hurting anyone that you would understand…” Damon asked, hurt echoing in his voice. If this was about understanding, this was what he really needed to understand.

“Part of it was because of my issues with human blood that I mentioned before, but part of it was also…I saw the feeding marks on Gail. She was pregnant. With our niece. I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I was too blind to see that if you’d really been feeding on her in her condition then she wouldn’t have been as strong and healthy as she was. The baby would have been suffering too. I just…saw red.”

“It was just a taste test. To make sure the vervain was gone. So I could compel her if I needed to. If she saw too much,” Damon said.

“I know that now,” Stefan said gesturing to the journals that Damon was guarding. “And I should have known that then. I should have at least /asked/ before attacking you. Most importantly, I should have /helped/ you. I should have been helping you this whole time instead of vilifying you. I know how much it must have taken for you to come and ask for help in the first place. But I’m here now. And from now on, I /will/ help you. When you stumble, I’ll be there to catch you. When you slip off the edge, I’ll be there to pull you back. Even if it means helping to cover up bodies. Because you’re my /brother/. And that’s all that matters.”

“I-I…” Damon took a deep shaky breath, blinking the tears out of his eyes at that heartfelt declaration. “Thank you,” he whispered. “So you know everything…Even Katherine…” he said hauntedly, trailing his fingers over the old battered version of his journal.

“Yeah. I do,” Stefan said moving to sit next to his brother. “And I wish I could say it would have made a difference if I’d known, but I don’t know if it would have or not. I don’t know if any of it would have made a difference with the person I was in this time. I needed a wake-up call. And the fact that it was your death that did it…” Stefan choked up a bit.

“It really hit you that hard?” Damon asked, still having trouble believing that.

“How would you feel if you drove me off the edge enough for me to kill myself?” Stefan asked him.

“I’d follow right behind you,” Damon said honestly with a shudder at the very thought of it.

“And I almost did. I was about to before this. I was a mess. Aside from my stint in the prison…and hunting Katherine down and ripping her heart out of her chest…I barely left this house. Just to feed and charge my cell phone at the same time. I boarded up the place and became a hermit. I studied everything I could about psychology and magic, searched out witches and begged them for help. Spent every penny we both had searching for some way to get you back.” He reached out and picked up the old journal. “I must have read this thing a thousand times. I have every word memorized. This was my most prized possession. It was even the only thing I took with me when I left. I went to the same spot you did, was looking over it one more time before I took my ring off…” he trailed off hauntedly.

“Then what happened? How did this happen?” Damon prodded.

“There was an old woman…at least that was what it looked like. She asked me questions, said she’d seen me coming to the same spot every year on the anniversary of your death and never aging…I didn’t see any reason not to answer her when everything was about to end anyway. And maybe some part of our story could live on. Then she’s saying good luck and tapped me on the head, and I was back in this time,” Stefan shrugged.

“Must have been a witch,” Damon said.

“I don’t know about that,” Stefan said with furrowed brow, really thinking about it for the first time since it happened. “I talked to hundreds of witches, and they all swore that this was impossible…but she did it with seemingly no effort at all…”

“Then what do you think she was?” Damon asked.

“I don’t have a clue. And to be honest, I don’t really care,” Stefan chuckled. “She gave me everything I ever wanted and that’s good enough for me.”

“Until there’s a cost,” Damon said warily.

“There is /no/ cost that would be too much for this,” Stefan said, finally giving into the urge and pulling his brother into a crushing hug. “Just being able to do this is worth /anything/.”

Damon hugged him back tightly…the first hug he and his brother had shared since they were human. “Yeah. It is,” Damon whispered with tears in his eyes.

Chapter Text

“You feel up to heading back down to the party? Or maybe a brother’s night in the city and do some feeding?” Stefan suggested.

“Why not both? The party isn’t likely to go on that long,” Damon decided, shoving everything else away to think about later. Including his complete loss of control. “Too bad I already sent that pretty blonde home.”

“I’m sure there are plenty of others,” Stefan chuckled, clapping his brother on the back as they headed down. He would talk to Zach and make sure he laid off Damon too. Gail always had a soft spot for him so she wasn’t a concern.

“Oh and I want my shirt back,” Damon joked.

“Oh…right…forgot about that,” Stefan said a bit sheepishly. He’d taken over most of his brother’s clothes after his death too. Wearing them made him feel closer to him. “You still have this timeline’s copy. This one’s mine now,” he joked back.

“Dick,” Damon laughed and gave him a shove. For now, he would just revel in having his brother back. He could deal with the hard stuff later. They both headed over to get drinks, talking and laughing with each other before Damon spotted another good option to flirt with and made his way over.

Stefan had noticed the odd looks from Zach and once Damon disappeared to get his flirt on, Zach made his way over. “I don’t even know what question to start with.”

“Short version, I came back from the future. Damon’s not as bad as I thought. And right now, he just needs the help and support of his family,” Stefan explained.

“You’ve been telling me that he’s not safe…”

“And I was wrong,” Stefan said. “I’ve spent the last hundred and thirty years blaming him for my own issues rather than facing up to them myself. Just ignore everything I’ve ever said about Damon in the past.”

“I suppose I can understand that,” Zach agreed. Those things happened sometimes. And at least Stefan realized now and was owning up to it. “But you’re sure he’s safe around my family?”

“Positive,” Stefan nodded. He almost gave away too much by saying that Damon would kill himself if he ever hurt them, but just left it at the assurance.

“Okay. Good enough for me then,” Zach said before wading back into the party.

Stefan decided to go see if he could find his own fun for the night and maybe their feeding trip could wait until tomorrow. Now that the weight was leaving his shoulders, he was starting to realize that he hadn’t been laid in almost a century. He was rather rusty on the charm, having not spoken to anyone other than witches he was begging on the phone in so long. Who was he kidding? He’d /never/ had any charm. But he managed to find someone just the same. When Damon disappeared upstairs with a woman on his arm a little after dark, he caught his eye and whispered, “Tomorrow,” getting a nod in return. Stefan took the girl he was chatting up upstairs with him not long after.

Stefan did wonder whether tonight was a night for sex for Damon or if he just needed someone to cuddle and tuned in his hearing just long enough to know that it was the latter. It wasn’t surprising though. Damon had a difficult and confusing day. Of course, he would need comfort more than sex. Stefan, on the other hand, needed the opposite, and ended up compelling her to forget the embarrassingly fast first round and did better the second time. And the third before she went back to her own room. Unlike Damon, Stefan didn’t often sleep overnight with his one-night stands. Only when they clearly wanted to. He just preferred to keep the emotional distance while Damon craved the emotional connection, fleeting though it was. They were still very different people.

Stefan woke up early the next morning, as he usually did, even in the future when half of the time his sleep was due to finding the bottom of the bottle, and he went downstairs to see that Gail’s craving for blueberry pancakes was still in full force. He offered to take over the cooking that she’d barely started so she could rest and she gratefully took him up on it. “You seem different this morning, Stefan,” she said with a tilt of her head. “More relaxed. Confident. Comfortable…I guess ‘relieving your stress’ was good for you,” she teased, having noticed him disappear with company the night before.

Stefan let out a little laugh. “Guess so.” Then he told her the truth though. Some of it. He didn’t want to lie to her and especially since Zach knew, she would soon enough too. “Actually, I came back from the future so a lot of my changes are just from growing and evolving as a person.”

“Oh wow. Can you tell us anything about the future?” Gail asked hopefully.

“Yeah, like sports scores? Stocks information? Companies we should invest in?” Damon quipped as he came in, reached around Stefan, and grabbed a piece of not really finished bacon right off the griddle. “Hmm…could be a little crispier,” he criticized as he ate it.

“It /would/ have been crispier if you’d let me finish it, dork,” Stefan laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Not my fault you’re slow,” Damon joked and then got his hand smacked with the spatula when he reached for another piece.

Gail found their byplay amusing, and heartwarming. She was glad that Stefan was easing up on Damon. Apparently, whatever happened in the future was good for them. She’d been worried about Damon. When she heard Zach chuckle from the doorway, she realized that he’d heard as well and they shared a nod that it was a good thing before Zach jumped in. “Damon does have a good question,” he said partially joking.

“I paid next to no attention to sports in the future. Or the stock market. But I can get you the list of some companies who are going to hit it big soon,” Stefan agreed with a chuckle.

“Yeah, you mentioned something about cell phones…I’m guessing they got better than the crap available in this time?” Damon asked.

“Oh yeah. A thousand times better. I can’t even begin to explain,” Stefan told him. Too bad he didn’t have his phone. He hadn’t bothered taking it with him when he was about to die.

“Oh come on, little brother. At least give it a try,” Damon coaxed.

“Okay fine,” Stefan snorted amusedly. “Every phone had GPS tracking and directions, internet and wifi capablility, millions of apps and widgets available, computing power ten times better than the strongest computers available today, motion sensors, touchscreen…”

“Okay, you’re just making some of those words up,” Gail said amusedly.

“Nope. Hence why I said I couldn’t begin to explain. Even explaining those words would include ‘new’ words and then we’d just end up down a rabbit hole,” Stefan laughed.

“Next time you say you can’t explain something we’ll take your word for it,” Zach huffed a laugh.

“Speak for yourself,” Damon said, just to be contrary as he used the distraction to swipe another piece of bacon.

“Damon!” Stefan chided.

“Still not crispy enough,” he joked and then ducked the potholder Stefan threw at him and hid behind Gail.

“Hey, not fair. No using the pregnant woman as a shield,” Stefan protested.

“All’s fair in love and hey!,” Damon turned around to see Zach holding the potholder that just hit him in the head with a playful smirk and they all burst into laughter.

A few minutes later, Stefan was done with breakfast and handed a perfect piece of bacon to Damon before bringing the plates to the table. “Does this one pass muster, your highness?”

Damon popped the whole thing in his mouth and chewed for a moment before he said, “Much better.”

Stefan put four plates down on the table with pancakes, eggs, and bacon on all four as everyone sat around the table to eat. The conversation and jokes flowed over the course of the meal and Damon found himself settling in more comfortably to the idea of family. Everything he’d been trying so hard to connect to for the last month was now almost effortless. Now that Stefan wasn’t watching him like a hawk waiting for him to mess up. He was almost able to forget the mess of yesterday. Almost. For right now though, it was the farthest thing from his mind. He was always good at compartmentalizing.

Chapter Text

After breakfast, Stefan headed out to do some shopping. He’d had an idea last night while laying in bed after his company left that he really wanted to do, but it would mean a visit to an occult shop. And there was only one in the area that had a decent chance of allowing vampires in. At least if the owner’s daughter was any indication. She’d been rather helpful to him in the future and wasn’t unreasonably prejudiced against vampires so maybe her mother wouldn’t be either. She did let him in, but she watched him like a hawk. She seemed to soften a bit though when she saw what he was buying. “That’s all you want?” she asked surprised.

“That’s it,” Stefan said as she rang it up and he gave her a little extra and told her to keep it before he left. He did some more shopping just for the hell of it, as much to refamiliarize himself with this time period as anything before driving the two hours back home.

Once Stefan left, Damon sat around for a bit and chatted with Zach and Gail, and then the other guests that were there as they came in and out, but after a while, his curiosity got the better of him and he went up to Stefan’s room. Part of him knew that he should leave well enough alone. Just accept what he was getting and forget everything else. That just wasn’t in his nature though. So he found his journal that Stefan had brought back with him and flipped to the back. He needed to know what he was thinking. How bad it got. Why he did it. Yeah, he’d thought a lot about it since Katherine ripped his heart out, but he’d been getting better.

He found that there was only one entry that he didn’t recognize and it made his blood run cold. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there staring at it before Stefan came in. “What did I do?” Damon asked him.

“It doesn’t matter, Damon. It didn’t happen and it won’t,” Stefan said, grabbing the journal and putting it back where he had it.

“I killed the baby didn’t I?” Damon asked hauntedly. “When I lost it yesterday and you held me back…that’s what I would have done.” That was the only thing he could think of that he could never come back from. Never forgive himself for.

“No, Damon. The baby was fine. Her name was Sarah. She grew up to be a world famous wildlife photographer, got married, had two kids, had a great life,” Stefan said honestly, leaving out everything else.

“Then what…”

“It. Doesn’t. Matter,” Stefan said seriously.

“It matters to me, Stefan. I /have/ to know,” Damon said just as seriously.

Stefan sighed and slumped to sit on his bed. So much for hiding the worst from him. He should have just burned that entry as soon as he got here. He just couldn’t bear to destroy anything in that book after clinging to every word for so long. “Fine. You killed everyone at the party except me and Zach. Including Gail. I got her to the hospital in time to save the baby though, but you didn’t know that before you…you know.”

Damon closed his eyes and felt the dull roar of everything else fading out echoing in his ears as the phantom images of what could have been ripped through his mind. Stefan noticed Damon’s breathing speeding up and the way his hands were gripping the chair hard enough to leave indentions in the wood. He moved over and knelt in front of his brother. “Damon, it’s okay. Listen to my voice. Everything’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe. Everyone’s fine.”

It took a few repeats before Damon was able to hear him and he said, “But they wouldn’t have been,” he said hauntedly. “I get why you came back now.” And it wasn’t for him.

“No, Damon. You’re wrong. Saving them was just a bonus. /You/ were the one I /had/ to save. You were the death that broke me, brother,” Stefan grabbed the journal back, seeing no point in hiding it now. “Look at this. Do you really think that I would have kept this so close…that it would have been the one thing I took with me to die…if I wasn’t about saving /you/? If I’d shown up a day later, I would still have fought just as hard for you. If it came down to it, I would trade every one of those lives for yours. It would kill me to make that choice, but I would do it. Because you’re my /brother/. And you should exist forever. /We/ should be /brothers/ forever. And nothing is more important than that.”

Deep down Stefan knew that wasn’t the healthiest outlook…the perils of being so learned in psychology…but he didn’t care. He never had. He would never get over breaking his brother for his own selfish and stupid reasons. He would never get over finding that pile of ash by the quarry. He would never get over his brother’s last thoughts being of the cruel and heartless words that Stefan had said. They were both broken in different ways. And only they could heal each other. “Damon?” he asked when his brother hadn’t said anything for a while.

“I…I need to be alone right now,” Damon got up to leave.

Stefan caught his arm before he got far. “Please, Damon, don’t make me read another entry like that. Don’t make me find another scene like I did then,” he begged with tears in his eyes.

“I won’t,” Damon said softly. He could promise that much. As long as having his brother back in his life was an option, he wouldn’t go there. Especially since he knew now what it would do to Stefan if he did. He pulled his arm away and continued down to his room.

Damon poured himself a drink and sat back on his bed, losing himself in thought. He’d known that losing it like that was always a possibility. He’d known he was spiraling. That was why he’d come home for help in the first place. Because he knew he couldn’t do it alone. Because he needed a tether to his humanity. He’d suspected, ever since he came back to himself and realized that Stefan had held him back, that he would have done something horrible, but he’d let dealing with that get swept away in figuring out his new brother and reveling in the acceptance he’d found. But now here it was and he /had/ to deal with it. Knowing with certainty what would have happened.

The woman who’d kept away his nightmares last night would have been dead. The woman Stefan slept with would have been dead. /Gail/ would have been dead and sure maybe the baby survived, but it couldn’t have been easy with her being cut from her dead mother’s womb two months early. Zach…he would have been a broken man. All because Damon couldn’t handle a little fight with his brother. He knew though that it was more than just a little fight. Damon had been so close to the edge already. He’d been holding on for dear life, hoping and praying for Stefan to come around and save him from it. When Stefan turned on him, so completely and so viciously, he just hadn’t been able to hold on anymore.

But this time Stefan had been there to catch him. Could he really hate himself for something that didn’t even happen? It was like playing ‘what if’ games that Damon hated. Except this ‘what if’ was a known quantity. Stefan remembered it. But didn’t hate him for it. He spent the rest of the evening lost in his thoughts before sleep claimed him. The first time he’d slept alone since he arrived. He just wasn’t in any shape to change that at the moment. The copious amounts of alcohol would have to be good enough.

Stefan had been planning to go and run his errand that night, but when he heard his brother go to sleep alone, he figured it should wait. Being here for his brother was more important. And sure enough it wasn’t long before he heard Damon lost in a nightmare and he rushed down. “Damon. Hey. Wake up. It’s just a nightmare,” he called as he shook Damon’s shoulder.

It didn’t take long for Damon to jerk awake and sit up, eyes wildly darting around the room as he gasped for breath. “Fuck…” he breathed out and fell back onto the bed. Stefan climbed into bed with him, glad to see that Damon was still clothed at least, and wrapped an arm around him. “What are you doing?” Damon asked incredulously.

“How many times did you hold me after nightmares?” Stefan asked.

“When you were a /kid/,” Damon pointed out.

“And you’re still my brother,” Stefan said. “I know you’d rather someone else be here. So would I. But when there is no one else, I will be. Now shut up and go back to sleep.”

“This is weird,” Damon muttered, but wasn’t able to resist as he closed his eyes.

“I know,” Stefan chuckled. “Goodnight, big brother.”

“Night, Stef,” Damon slurred as his interrupted sleep overtook him again.

Chapter Text

Damon woke up as Stefan tried to slip out of bed in the morning and he muttered, “We’re never mentioning this again.”

“Not a peep,” Stefan agreed as he headed back up to his own room.

“But thank you brother,” Damon whispered.

“Anytime, brother,” Stefan whispered back, already halfway to his room.

Damon didn’t come down until well after breakfast and Stefan suggested, “Want to head to the city for our delayed trip? I’m starving.” Other than the little bit he’d gotten from his girl after the party, he hadn’t fed since he’d been back.

“Yeah, works for me,” Damon agreed. Now he would see just how much his brother had loosened up. Part of him wouldn’t completely believe it until he saw for himself. Proof that Stefan had turned over a new leaf. He’d been burned too many times before. “Anyplace in particular you want to go?” Damon asked during the drive.

“I’m pretty sure the café I usually went to isn’t there in this time, but anyplace similar. I prefer those kinds of places to bars and clubs,” Stefan told him.

“Wrong time of day for the bar and club scene anyway,” Damon chuckled. “So not a fan of those anyway?”

“Not on a regular basis no. Sometimes, sure. I’m just not much of a partier,” Stefan shrugged.

“Not everyone can be as cool as me, I know,” Damon joked.

“I’ll be a nice brother and let you keep thinking that,” Stefan joked back. “You know…in a way, I’m kinda the big brother now. I mean…I am more than sixty years older than you.”

“Yeah, no. That’s not how it works,” Damon chuckled.

“No? Then how does it work?” Stefan asked.

“I changed your diapers. I took care of your skinned knees. I helped you with your homework. I’m always the big brother,” Damon smirked.

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Stefan conceded the point amusedly. The banter continued for the rest of the ride until they found a little café with outdoor seating. Luckily it was a Saturday which meant plenty of people around.

Once they found a seat and ordered coffees for posterity, Damon asked, looking around at the offerings, “So what’s your preference? Men? Women? Blondes? Brunettes?”

“Don’t really have a strict preference, but I do gravitate more towards men…for feeding,” he emphasized the last word before Damon could try and take it out of context.

“Wasn’t going to say a word,” Damon said with laughter in his voice.

“Liar,” Stefan chuckled. There was just something about feeding on women in this situation that felt too much to him like taking advantage of them. When they were sleeping together, sure. That was different. They’d consented to at least some part of his attentions, but he preferred not to force himself on them otherwise.

“Okay, we’ll look for couples then. You take the guy and I’ll take the girl,” Damon said. He was the opposite of his brother in that respect. He didn’t shy away from men or anything, but he preferred feeding from women. “And there’s our first marks.” Damon got up, leaving his brother to follow. “Hey, haven’t we met?” Damon asked the girl to get her attention to compel her.

“Don’t mind my brother. He tends to forget his manners,” Stefan told the guy for the same reason and then they were both compelled to follow them into an alley.

Damon waited for Stefan to bite first, just in case this was a setup of some sort, before he took a bite of the girl, taking a good long drink until she got to the point where she would be a bit woozy. He pulled away at the same time Stefan did, both of them licking the remnants of the blood from their lips. “Not bad, little brother,” Damon said after they did the final compulsions and sent the couple on their way.

“I’ve had plenty of practice,” Stefan said, realizing that Damon had been skeptical before. He was finding it even easier now though, but that was expected. Emotional turmoil always made control more difficult and his entire life in the future was emotional turmoil. Control was nearly effortless now. They returned to their table five minutes after they left it, and had their coffees refilled as they chatted some more, watching for their next mark. After three more couples, Stefan said, “Why don’t we hang around the city for a while. You can help me refresh my memory on what it’s like in this time.” All in all they had a fun brother bonding day before heading back to the boarding house.

Once they got back in time for dinner, Damon spotted his preferred conquest for the night and secured a seat next to her in the dining room, spending the meal chatting her up and then after dinner drinks in the drawing room before spiriting her upstairs for the rest of the night, this time having more than cuddling on the brain. Damon was a light sleeper though after everything, so when he heard footsteps in the middle of the night, recognizing them as Stefan’s, he wondered what his brother was up to. When he heard him go out the front door, Damon went to the window and looked out, watching Stefan disappear into the woods and he frowned.

Damon chided himself on becoming the suspicious one all of a sudden, but this whole change in Stefan would take him some getting used to. It only took him a second to decide to follow. He got dressed at vampire speed and slipped out of the room in an effort not to wake up…whatever her name was. Tracking Stefan was easy. He knew his brother’s scent well enough and could tell fresh scents from old scents even with how it was all over these woods anyway from Stefan’s hunting. Was that what he was doing? Was he sneaking around to drink animal blood? That didn’t make any sense. Unless he really was just playing Damon, but he didn’t believe that. The control that Stefan showed today would have been far beyond him if he didn’t make a habit of drinking from humans.

When he caught up to Stefan, he found him at the quarry, kneeling in a spot that he knew well. “What are you doing?” Damon asked confusedly as he stepped from the trees.

Stefan sighed and rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to think he could sneak around Damon. He was far too observant for his own good sometimes. “Planting,” he confessed. He wasn’t actually trying to /hide/ it per se.

“Planting what?” Damon asked with furrowed brow as he walked over.

“It’s a magical variation of a rose bush called a blood rose,” Stefan told him. “The roses are black, but with red tips and the patterns and amount of red is different depending on who donates the blood to feed it. It’s supposed to have an amazing effect with vampire blood.”

“So you’re out here in the middle of the night planting a rose bush in this exact spot because it’ll look pretty?” Damon asked skeptically, waiting for the real story.

“It’s something witches use for blood pacts,” Stefan admitted. “They state their pact and each feed the roses at planting. When the pact is broken or in danger of being broken the roses whither. When any of the people involved in the pact die, the bush dies.”

“So who are you making a pact with?” Damon asked curiously, looking around to see if someone else was coming.

“Myself,” Stefan said. “To be a better brother this time.” He bit his hand and held it over the hole, letting his blood fall on the seeds.

Damon knelt beside him and bit his own hand and did the same. “We can both stand to be better brothers.” Stefan may have had the biggest sins, but Damon wasn’t lily white in their relationship either. “Brothers forever.”

“Brothers forever,” Stefan agreed before pulling his hand back as it healed and Damon did the same.

“How long does it take this thing to grow?” Damon asked.

“About ten to thirty minutes to be in full bloom. And it’ll bloom year round,” Stefan said.

“Unless one of us breaks our pact.”

“Yeah. Unless that,” Stefan nodded.

“Let’s just hope it goes better than the last pact we made on this spot,” Damon said wryly.

“Yeah. Let’s hope,” Stefan said sadly as he sat back and waited for it to grow.

Damon moved to sit next to him. “You know I’m pretty sure there’s a saying about watching plants grow,” he joked.

“That’s grass. This is roses. Very different things,” Stefan chuckled.

“Potato potahto,” Damon laughed as the first shoot came up from the ground. “Okay so it is better than watching grass grow.”

“You say that like you’ve tried watching grass grow,” Stefan rolled his eyes.

“You saying you haven’t?” Damon joked.

Fifteen minutes later the bush was five feet tall and in full bloom. “Oh wow. I see the difference with vampire blood.”

“That’s the blue veins I’m guessing?” Damon asked, inspecting the flowers.

“And the shimmering of the red,” Stefan said. “I’ve seen blood roses before and they’ve never shimmered like that.”

“Nice,” Damon said as he walked around the bush. “And you don’t think people are going to get suspicious of the everblooming roses? Or annoyed that we put it here and cut it down?”

“Suspicious maybe, but no one knows who put it here. They’ll come up with some story or legend about it soon enough. And they can’t cut it down. No one but the two of us can touch it.” It was a fitting memorial Stefan thought. For the future that would never be. The symbol of the new future. “I’m glad you followed me out here.”

“Next time you can just invite me along without all the cloak and dagger stuff,” Damon gave him a playful shove.

“I was planning to do it myself…but I think this is an even better idea,” Stefan said. “Come on. Let’s go home and get some sleep.”

Chapter Text

The next day, Damon decided to take some time to walk around town now that Stefan wasn’t being all judgey stalker. At least he didn’t think so, until Stefan jumped on the chance to go with him. “Why? Still think I’m going to massacre half the town?” Damon asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.

“No!” Stefan said quickly. “No, that’s not…I get why you’d think that and if I’m being too needy, that’s fine. I can stay here. Just…I missed you for so long…”

Damon’s expression softened an he jerked his head, “Come on then.” He remembered old Stefan yelling at him for being so needy in forty-two, and if anyone understood missing his brother for so long it was Damon. And to have lost him in such a horrible way…Damon would be clingy too in Stefan’s position. “But if I find a bird, get lost, yeah?”

“Of course,” Stefan chuckled. “Same goes for you.”

“Deal.” Damon said as they got in his car. “Brings back memories doesn’t it?”

“Oh?”

“Of you tagging along with me everywhere when you were a kid,” Damon chuckled.

“Ah yes. And you telling me to get lost whenever you found a girl to chat up then too,” Stefan laughed.

“Hey those were different times. There was plenty for an eight-year-old to do in town without getting into trouble,” Damon grinned.

“And there was plenty to do that /did/ involve getting into trouble too,” Stefan pointed out amusedly.

“Yeah, but that was on you. I just meant nobody was going to snatch you or kill you or something,” Damon snorted.

They parked in the square and got out to take a walk around, with a bit of reminiscing at how things changed. It was a little after lunch when Damon ran into a familiar face. “Liz, hi,” Damon said cheerfully.

“Have we met?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“Oh. Right,” Damon muttered before meeting her eyes and compelling her to remember but also to forget that she forgot.

“Damon, hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m sorry I ran out of there so fast from the party.”

“No, that’s okay. I completely understand,” Damon said and then crouched down in front of the stroller. “And this must be little Caroline,” he said sweetly, waving his fingers in front of her face.

“Careful, she’s…”

“Hey!” Damon laughed as he pulled back after she bit him.

“In a bit of a biting phase,” Liz finished sheepishly. “Caroline no. Biting is bad.”

“Sometimes,” Damon smirked.

Liz snorted amusedly and said, “Let me see? She didn’t break the skin, did she?”

“No, it’s fine. Not even a mark,” Damon let her take his hand to look it over.

“Married,” Stefan muttered under his breath too low for any human to hear.

“For now,” Damon muttered back at the same volume.

“Just don’t use compulsion to change that,” Stefan warned.

“I won’t,” Damon said honestly.

Stefan took on a more normal tone. “I need to get going. I’m supposed to pick up my new baby gift for Zach and Gail. I’ll catch you later, brother?”

“Sure thing, Stef,” Damon said, not taking his eyes off Liz, getting the double hint that he needed to start looking for the same thing.

“It looks fine,” Liz said letting go of his hand and catching his eyes for a moment before looking away. “A new baby gift huh? Gail is getting ready to pop isn’t she,” she tried to make conversation.

“Yes. She is. And I really should start looking into one of those too. Maybe you could help me?” Damon asked before bending down to look in the stroller and saying, “I would ask you to help, but I don’t think the new baby would like chew toys much,” he teased the little girl who giggled more at his tone than his words.

Liz laughed at him too. “It’s a girl right?” she asked, remembering Gail mentioning that.

“So I hear,” Damon said falling into step beside her as they walked to the park.

“Maybe a stuffed unicorn?” Liz suggested.

“No, I don’t think you understand,” Damon chuckled. “I’m loaded. And so is my brother. And he’s probably getting her something incredible.”

Liz rolled her eyes at the competitiveness between the brothers. “A gold-plated unicorn?” she suggested jokingly.

“Hmm. That could work. Life size with a little saddle…”

“I was kidding!” Liz laughed and gave him a playful shove, surprised at how easy he was to talk to.

“Oh. Well then…” Damon said, making it clear that he knew that and was joking as well. “Maybe a pony?”

“You might want to wait until she’s a little older for that,” Liz shook her head amusedly. “And consult Zach and Gail first.”

“Just kill all my ideas why don’t you,” Damon pouted.

“You’ll live,” she laughed.

“Hey, are you doing anything this afternoon? Maybe you can come with me and help me find something?” he suggested. “And of course, a gift for the little lady is in it as well,” he grinned at Caroline.

“Sure, why not,” Liz agreed. Bill didn’t want her working until Caroline started school at least, so she found herself more than a little bored during the day. Hence the frequent walks around town in the first place. “But you don’t need to buy something for Caroline.”

“No, I insist. You’re doing me a favor. Unless you think it would be weird for a strange man to buy a present for your daughter,” he said uncertainly.

“No, it’s not that,” Liz assured him. “And you’re hardly strange.”

“Clearly you don’t know me very well yet,” Damon joked.

“You know what I meant,” she laughed. He was a Salvatore. Upper crust of the town. He wasn’t some creep on a street corner. “Come on. The baby store is this way.”

“You lead, I follow,” Damon grinned. He wasn’t setting out to destroy her marriage, but he could tell when a woman was unhappy. And he found it a tragedy. Especially a woman like Liz. Beautiful and brilliant and vibrant. She was the whole deal. She deserved someone who appreciated her. Maybe that someone could even be him. He wasn’t anywhere near that point yet, and until he knew whether or not he would be, he wouldn’t make any moves. If he found that love wasn’t in the cards with her, he’d take her to bed if she wanted regardless of her marital status, but it would be her making the move. If he did find himself falling for her, he wouldn’t allow anything to happen until or unless she was separated from her husband.

In the meantime, he would just flirt. Flatter her. Show her how she should be treated. Make her smile. She did have a beautiful smile. And the kid was pretty cute too. Unlike a lot of human men, he didn’t see her being a mom as a turnoff. Just the opposite in fact. Stepdad was the closest he would ever come to dad. It wasn’t something he longed for anymore. He’d put that dream aside a long time ago. But if the opportunity arose, he would take it with both hands and love every minute of it. And the fact that she was a biter might even be a sign from fate, he stifled a laugh at the thought. Most importantly, he would get to know her. Become friends. Then see what happened. “Do you have experience with babies?” Liz asked him.

“No, sadly. I don’t,” Damon partially lied. He had experience with Stefan as a baby, but he could hardly say that Stefan was seven years younger than him when he was posing as twenty-one. He would have to ask Stefan how old he was posing as to get their stories straight. “I’m not opposed to them, naturally. Just never had the opportunity to be around them.”

“I can tell you like them,” she smiled. “You’re good with Caroline. Despite the little mishap.”

“Oh is that what you call almost losing a finger? A mishap?” he teased.

“What happened to ‘it’s fine. Not even a mark’?” Liz laughed.

“I’m a man. It’s my prerogative to change my mind. I think,” he pretended to be confused.

“I think you’re a little mixed up on that one,” she laughed harder.

“Am I? Must be the blood loss messing with my mind.”

“Drama queen,” Liz shook her head as they got to the baby store. “Here we are. Do we need to get you some my little pony bandaids while we’re here?” she teased.

“I demand superman bandaids or I’m going home,” he said petulantly.

“Whatever you say,” she patted his shoulder with mock condescension and led him over to the new baby gift baskets. “I’d suggest one of these.”

“Hmm…” Damon said as he looked them over, immediately going for the biggest and most expensive ones. He dithered for a minute before grabbing the two he was trying to decide between and crouching down in front of Caroline. “What do you think? Care Bears or My Little Pony?” Caroline immediately reached for the Care Bears one, and Damon realized his mistake as he took it away again and she started crying. “No, hey. I’m sorry, kiddo. Here,” he went over to the stand with Care Bears by themselves and grabbed her the same one that was front and center in the gift basket. “Here you go. We’ll get that for you and that one doesn’t have all the other stuff in the way huh?”

She babbled happily at him as she started chewing on the ear. “Nice save,” Liz told him amusedly as he put the basket he wasn’t getting back. “But again, you don’t have to buy her anything.”

“Are you kidding? I almost lost a finger already. I might just lose a whole arm if I try to take that back now,” Damon said incredulously, making her laugh again. “Seriously, though. I don’t mind. It’s just a stuffed toy. Not like I’m buying her a pony…yet.”

“/Ever/,” Liz snorted as they made their way to the checkout.

Chapter Text

Damon got the basket gift wrapped and steered their walk towards his car to put it in the backseat as he chatted with Liz and then they walked around a little longer too. He made sure to include Caroline in the conversation, by just looking at her and asking her what she thought about different things every so often. He quickly noticed that when she didn’t get enough attention she started getting fussy. Liz did the same thing he did, so he figured it would work. He did keep his fingers away from her though for the most part. Until Liz started heading home at which point he ruffled Caroline’s hair. “Bye, Care Bear,” he coined the nickname for her. “See you later, Liz.”

“Later, Damon,” she smiled and watched him walk away for a second before she shook her head and turned for home. No, she had to get those thoughts out of her head. Yes he was gorgeous, charming, and had given her more attention in two hours than her husband did in two months, but that was no reason to entertain those kind of thoughts. She was a married woman, after all. Damon was a friend. That was it. He just happened to be a friend that made her feel like a woman rather than just a mother and housekeeper. That didn’t mean anything at all.

When Damon got home, he was met with an offer of a drink by Stefan, and he took it with a smirk. “So, you break up any marriages today?” Stefan asked amusedly, with only a hint of disapproval. Just because he was trying to be a good brother didn’t mean he had to approve of everything Damon did after all.

“Hey if a little flirting and a few compliments to a woman who’s clearly desperate for male attention is going to break up a marriage then that’s on her husband. Not me,” Damon said as he sat down.

“I can’t argue with that,” Stefan conceded. “That’s all it was?”

“Yes. And that’s all it’s going to be until or unless /she/ makes a move. Sleeping with a random married woman as a one-night stand is one thing, but someone you’re likely to see on a regular basis? Not a good idea.”

“I can agree with you on that,” Stefan nodded, glad that he wouldn’t have to worry about that subject. And Damon was just a flirt in general. It was his personality. He didn’t necessarily agree with him spending time with a married woman like that, but it wasn’t a big enough deal for him to try and get involved with.

“Did you get your new baby gift?” Damon asked.

“No, that was just a ploy to make my exit. And to remind you that we do need to start thinking about that.”

“Thought about and got on my part,” Damon smirked. “Liz and little Caroline helped me pick it out.”

“What’d you get?” Stefan asked.

“That would be telling,” Damon grinned and downed the rest of his drink before getting up. “I think I’ll go see if Gail needs any help with dinner.”

“Oh come on, Damon. I need ideas. Help a brother out,” Stefan called after him.

“Sorry, Stef. You’re on your own with this one. But there are plenty of lovely ladies here that might be able to help you think of something,” Damon waggled his eyebrows which was the cue for one of them to walk over, having overheard the conversation.

“I’m good with ideas. Maybe I could help?” she asked Stefan seductively.

“You’re welcome,” Damon said at low vampire volume on his way to the kitchen. And when dinner was ready, Damon noticed that Stefan was sitting next to the girl he’d nudged his brother’s way, so he started looking for his own for the night.

Stefan didn’t end up getting any ideas from his girl of the evening, but he did get a good snack from her at least along with the fun. That meant he went the next day to the same store that Liz had taken Damon to and started looking around for ideas. When he found the premade gift baskets, he guessed that Damon had gotten one of them. And if he knew his brother it was one of the most expensive ones which meant he had to do the same. Just make sure it was a different one than Damon got. Without knowing which one Damon got. There were four options at least so he had a seventy-five percent chance and eventually just went with eenie meenie minie moe, grabbing the princess basket and went to buy it. They had at least a month left if the baby made it to full term, but that was no reason not to be prepared.

It was a few days before Damon saw Liz again, spotting her at the play park with little Caroline, so he popped in to say hello. “Come here often?” he asked with a grin, knowing the best pickup lines were the bad ones said jokingly.

“Funny,” she snorted as she pushed Caroline on the baby swing. “I’m a mom. At least I have an excuse to be here. What’s yours?”

“Is spotting a vision of loveliness so bright that she drew me in like a moth to flame not a good enough excuse,” he smirked.

“I’m married,” she told him amusedly.

“Doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful,” Damon said. “And it doesn’t mean I can’t tell you that or that we can’t be friends. Does it?”

“Well…no. I suppose not. Just if you’re expecting more than friendship…”

“I’m not,” Damon told her. “I don’t mess around with married women,” he partially lied. “And how is the /little/ vision of loveliness today?” Damon asked Caroline as she swung back and forth.

“Ah, I think I see what’s going on here,” Liz chuckled. “You’re nervous about being an uncle so you’re trying to get practice.”

“You got me,” Damon laughed.

“In that case, feel free to take over for a bit. My arms are getting tired,” she smirked throwing him in the deep end. Well the kiddie pool at least. The deep end would be having him change a diaper which she had no intention of doing to him.

“Happily,” Damon said. “I see you still have your bear,” Damon said as he took over pushing her on the swing, keeping to the same speed and height her mother had.

“She hasn’t let go of it since we left the store,” Liz chuckled.

“See? I’m a great gift giver, aren’t I little Care Bear,” he said sweetly. “Did you name him?”

“Aba mana doda,” Caroline babbled, happy to be talked to.

“Aba mana doda huh? That’s a bit of a mouthful. How about we just call him Aba for short huh?” he said playfully.

“Aba!” she said happily.

“I’m glad you agree,” Damon said as Liz watched with a smile.

“You’re gonna be a great uncle,” she told him.

“I hope so,” Damon said. “I’m certainly gonna try,” he said in baby talk as much to Caroline as Liz.

“Zi!” Caroline said insistently waving her arm.

Damon could tell the difference between babbling and actually wanting something, so he looked at Liz to help. “She wants to slide. I’ve got her,” Liz said amusedly, stepping in to get her out of the swing.

Damon, not sure how that worked with one so little, just watched a few times as Liz helped her up the stairs and then moved around to the bottom to catch her and then swung her up in the air with a cheer. “You know, it might be a little easier if we each manned a station rather than going back and forth.”

“By all means,” Liz motioned for him to join in. Damon moved to take position at the bottom of the slide and caught Caroline coming down and did what her mother did and swung her up in the air with a cheer before putting her down so she could toddle back to her mother for help up the stairs. She went down half a dozen more times before Damon put her down and she toddled off towards the sandbox. “They don’t have a very long attention span at that age,” Liz told him, eyes following her to the sandbox, but otherwise letting her go.

“Clearly,” Damon chuckled. “She’s going to get that bear dirty,” he pointed out.

“That’s what the washing machine is for,” Liz shrugged. “Kids are dirty. Something you’ll need to get used to helping with your niece.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Damon said as he went to sit next to her on the bench where she watched Caroline play with a couple other kids her age there.

When she pulled out a camera a minute later and took a few pictures she noticed his amused smile and shrugged. “Occupational hazard of being a mom. Always have a camera.”

“Perfectly understandable,” Damon told her.

“I like to get pictures when I can since it can be hard to get good pictures of her swinging and sliding because I’m too busy helping her to get them,” Liz told him.

“Your husband doesn’t help?” Damon asked.

“He’s not really the baby care type. He works a lot so doesn’t have much time for the simple things like this.”

“Then it’s a good thing she has you. And I’d be happy to help out with some pictures sometimes,” he offered.

“I might just take you up on that,” Liz said happily.

Chapter Text

Damon didn’t want to overstay his welcome, so he only stuck around for another hour, but did get some pictures for Liz when Caroline wanted back on the swings and slide. He made sure to say goodbye to Caroline too…and then the bear when Caroline insisted…before he headed home. He would see if Stefan was up for a feeding trip in the city. But he would line up his lady of the night first, and spent the rest of the afternoon doing that and getting her to agree to wait for him to get home. Claiming he’d promised to go out for drinks with his brother after dinner.

Stefan heard his brother making the arrangements and didn’t fault him a bit for it. Not knowing that Damon couldn’t sleep alone without nightmares. As long as he wasn’t compelling women into his bed, it was none of Stefan’s business. Even if he was compelling women just to cuddle, Stefan would probably let it go. He would only really draw the line at compelling for sex, but he knew that Damon wasn’t likely to do that. He wasn’t likely to even compel cuddling. He’d learned a lot about the lines Damon wouldn’t cross through the journal and none of them were so bad that Stefan couldn’t live with it. He’d learned a lot about being judgmental from what happened last time around. And if Damon did cross a bad line, Stefan could bring him back around without being demanding and judgey and cruel about it. Like he had been when trying to force Damon onto animal blood. Both times he tried.

“So, I never really asked,” Damon started when they were in the car headed for the city. “What’s our story here? Like how old are we, how are we related to Zach, you know.”

“He’s our half-brother or so we’ve been telling people,” Stefan told him. Even before he and Damon were close again he didn’t feel right claiming anyone else as a full brother. “I don’t think anyone’s ever asked my age.”

“Well my ID is set at twenty-one. I just got it refreshed before coming here,” Damon told him.

“Then I can be twenty-two so we’re not twins,” Stefan said with a hint of mischievousness.

“No way,” Damon shook his head amusedly. “We already had this conversation. I’m the big brother. Which means you have to be twenty.”

“Fine. I suppose I can wait a year to drink publicly in town,” Stefan pouted.

“That’s the spirit,” Damon grinned.

“Where’d the questions come from?” Stefan asked curiously.

“I was talking to Liz today at the park and she mentioned Zach and Gail’s baby being my niece so I started wondering. Don’t want to blow anything by getting the stories mixed up, you know?”

“Yeah, makes sense. Except for the fact that you were at the park?”

“I saw Liz there so I popped in to say hello. Played with Caroline for a little while. That’s how the subject came up. She thinks I’m nervous about being an uncle so want to get some practice in by making friends with her and Care Bear.”

“Care Bear? You already gave the kid a nickname?” Stefan asked amusedly, trying not to worry too much about it. Trying but not completely succeeding. He wasn’t sure if his brother could take another heartbreak and if he got too cozy playing happy family, then it could get bad.

“Her name is Caroline and she loves Care Bears. It made sense,” Damon shrugged.

“I suppose,” Stefan said, despite the fact that Damon had missed the point.

Over the next few weeks, they settled into something like a routine. Stefan took over breakfast completely since Gail was having more and more trouble moving around, both for the family and for the guests. It was the only meal they always ate separately from the guests. Lunch tended to fluctuate on that subject and Damon and Stefan alternated helping with that. Damon wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he could chop and stir and follow directions as Gail sat down and told him what to do. Zach was usually the one helping with dinner which they always ate with the guests when they were there for the meal. Stefan usually only took someone to bed once or twice a week, but Damon, of course, was every night. Just not always for sex.

Damon also went out into town a few times a week, usually finding Liz and Caroline during the trip and spending some time with them. Those days he usually met Stefan at the grill later and ‘snuck’ him drinks as they played pool and chatted. They also spent some time working on their cars some afternoons, going into the city three times a week to feed, and just doing brother things. Damon also spent some time with Zach, helping with the paperwork for the boarding house just to have something to do and connect with his ‘half-brother’. He spent time with Gail helping out around the place so she wouldn’t have to do so much. He finally felt like his life was starting to come together. He didn’t feel nearly so on edge all the time. Everything was going perfect.

As they got to the middle of June and the doctors said that Gail could pop any day now, Damon said, “Wouldn’t it be great if she was born on my birthday?”

“It would be /something/,” Stefan joked.

“You have to name her after me if she’s born on my birthday,” Damon told Zach and Gail.

“You want us to name our /daughter/ Damon?” Gail asked with a laugh.

“No, no. How about Damona. You know. Like Ramona but with a D?”

“Yeah, no,” Zach shook his head amusedly. “Her name will be Sarah.”

“I’d like to float Stefanie as a middle name?” Stefan decided to get in on the fun.

“Sarah Stefanie Salvatore? Yeah, that’s a good way to give a kid a lisp,” Damon teased. “Now Sarah Damona Salvatore…”

“You two are a riot. We already decided on a middle name too,” Gail laughed.

“No fair. We’re the uncles. We’re supposed to help with the name picking,” Damon pouted playfully.

“I don’t remember reading that in the rule-book,” Zach snorted.

“I don’t remember reading a rule book at all,” Gail added.

“So don’t keep us in suspense then. What’s the middle name?” Stefan asked.

Gail grinned at them both, knowing they would approve. “Lillian.” They’d just decided on it a few days before to honor /both/ her ‘uncles’. Since neither of them had any female family names which was usually what the middle name was for, they might as well. And Sarah Lillian Salvatore sounded nice.

“Perfect,” Damon grinned.

“I agree,” Stefan nodded.

“And it looks like we’re going to get to meet her sooner rather than later,” Gail suddenly said with a grimace.

“No! You’re two days early!” Damon protested.

“Labor can take a long time,” Stefan tried to placate his brother.

“If I’m in labor for two days, I’m going to strangle you, Damon,” Gail ground out through the contraction.

“Right…yeah…guess it wouldn’t be so bad if she’s not born on my birthday,” Damon winced.

“Can one of you speedsters grab her hospital bag from under our bed?” Zach asked as he helped Gail to her feet when the contraction ended.

“I’ve got it,” Stefan was gone in a flash.

“Here, I can carry her,” Damon offered.

“No, it’s okay. I’m good to walk for now. I might take you up on that later though,” Gail said, leaning heavily on her husband.

Stefan met them at the door with the bag and they helped her to Zach’s car which Damon drove to the hospital with Stefan in shotgun and Zach in back with Gail who was half laying on him. “You know…I’ve seen this in movies. It never ends well,” Damon said as they pulled out.

“This isn’t a movie, Damon,” Zach rolled his eyes.

“I’m just saying…I hope one of you two knows how to deliver a baby, because I got nothing.”

“The hospital is ten minutes away,” Stefan couldn’t help but laugh.

“It always is in the movies too,” Damon pointed out.

“Shut up and drive, Damon,” Gail managed a laugh through her discomfort. “Oh boy…” she gasped as her water broke.

“See! I told you!”

“It’s just the water breaking. It doesn’t mean the baby’s coming right this minute,” Zach said and then asked Gail, “I thought it was the father that was supposed to be freaking out, not the uncle.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Damon rolled his eyes. “Just pointing out a few things.”

“A few paranoid things,” Stefan added. “See we’re here already. And no baby in the car. I’ll be right back with a wheelchair.”

Once they got Gail inside, Damon and Stefan went to the waiting room while Zach went in with Gail. Neither of the brothers much wanted to see the ‘miracle of childbirth’ up close and personal. They did ask Zach if there was anyone he wanted them to call, but he was good. Neither of them had any other family and friends could be updated later. From there it was just a waiting game. Even when Damon pointed out that the ‘patients were in charge of the asylum’ at the boarding house. They could manage for one night though.

Chapter Text

Sarah Lillian Salvatore was born at two am and an exhausted Zach brought her to the waiting room to meet her uncles. When both Damon and Stefan stepped up to hold her, Stefan shook his head and let Damon go first. He was oldest after all. Sort of. And it would mean even more to him than it would to Stefan. When Damon took the baby gently, paying attention to Zach’s instructions to support her head, he looked down at her and smiled. The only thing in his mind was what had happened to her last time. What he had caused last time. And here was the last piece of proof that the old timeline was gone for good. This Sarah was strong and healthy. She hadn’t had to be cut from her dead mother’s womb. Damon was getting better and he would keep doing so for her.

Stefan, who had the memories of the last timeline, was being hit even harder, but his biggest concern was seeing Damon happy and the smile on his brother’s face right now was everything to him. He did want to see and hold a healthy baby Sarah, but Damon’s healing was the most important thing. He’d done it. He’d saved his brother. And so many others in the process. It wasn’t long before his second most important reason to come back was being placed in his arms by Damon and Stefan beamed at him. “We’ll be okay,” Damon told him, knowing where Stefan’s mind was. The same place his had been. On the timeline that would never be.

“We will,” Stefan agreed happily before turning his attention to the sleeping baby. After a talk with Zach and Gail, they’d agreed that the new baby presents would be given when they got home so they wouldn’t have as much to take home from the hospital, but the brothers were still intending to do /something/ to mark the occasion in the hospital so once baby Sarah was taken back to her mother, they made their way to the gift shop for balloons and flowers. By the time Gail was moved and ready to see people, they were back with their purchases. They didn’t stay long since she needed her rest. They just congratulated her and hugged her before heading back to the boarding house. Damon was going to take a nap, and Stefan was going to make breakfast for the guests and then take a nap.

Damon ended up deciding to go crawl into bed with one of his regulars rather than go to his own bed or try and convince someone to go with him. He knew she tended to sleep late anyway and he would compel her to forget it so she didn’t start trying to read too much into things. He just needed a little three-hour nap and he would be good. And since it wasn’t even seven yet, he would have plenty of time. He might even make it out before she woke up and be able to avoid the whole thing. He didn’t quite make it. She woke up as he was slipping out of her bed and he just compelled her to forget and made his way back to his room to shower and change.

By the time Damon was up, word had spread about the baby being born so he was bombarded with questions and requests for pictures. He and Stefan had taken a few, but on film, not polaroid so they would have to be developed. Zach had the polaroid and still had the pictures taken with it. By the time Damon was promising to get a few after they went to visit the hospital, Stefan was coming down to join him and gave his own promises of the same before they left to do just that.

When they got there, it seemed word had spread outside the boarding house too as the waiting room was full of founding families. He noticed Liz there, but was debating whether or not to go say hi since she was with her husband. He didn’t end up getting a choice when a little blonde toddler ran up to him “Dama!” and raised her hands in the air to be picked up.

Damon laughed and picked her up, walking back over to Liz and Bill with her as he said, “And how are you little Care Bear?” He poked her nose playfully before handing her back to Liz with a joking, “I think you lost something. Nice to see you again, Liz. You must be Bill,” he made sure to keep it casual.

“I am. And you are?” Bill asked shaking his hand.

“Damon Salvatore,” he said and then answered what was probably the next question. “Your wife and little girl saved me when I couldn’t figure out what to get as a new baby gift for my niece and we’ve run into each other a few times since.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Damon,” Bill said, losing a lot of his suspicion with an explanation. And the fact that Liz apparently did talk about him so that made it less likely that anything untoward was going on. “Caroline does tend to attach to people quickly.”

“I noticed,” Damon chuckled, starting to form a suspicion based on the way Bill was looking at him, but left it be for now. “Well, it was nice to see you both, and meet you Bill. Thanks for coming. I’m sure Zach and Gail appreciate it. I’ll catch you later Care Bear,” he ruffled the girl’s hair, glad that she’d gotten mostly out of her biting phase in the last month since the ‘incident’. Not that he minded really. He found it hilarious that the toddler bit vampires. But the adults’ reactions made it a little less fun. She would still bite when she got annoyed or if you got too close to her face for too long, but it wasn’t a constant reaction anymore.

“And /that/ is why messing with married women is a bad idea,” Stefan said amusedly as Damon rejoined him. “Especially when they have a kid that can out you.”

“There’s no messing around,” Damon chuckled. “We’re just friends. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Uh-huh,” Stefan said skeptically. He did believe that nothing was going on physically. Damon wasn’t the type to lie about that. But he wasn’t so sure about emotionally. Liz was the only person outside of family that Damon deliberately sought out to spend time with. And Damon was the type to get easily attached to people even more so than little Caroline. Now that he had nothing holding him back, i.e. Katherine, there was a very good chance he would end up falling for Liz if he hadn’t already. And then it would be a mess.

They slipped out of the crowd and went to see the new family, promising to let them know everyone was there. They spent a few minutes, played with little Sarah, got pictures to take home from Zach, took a few more pictures themselves and then sat with Gail while Zach took Sarah to meet the other founders. They passed on the well-wishes of the guests at the boarding house and assured her they had lunch covered. A lot of the guests had offered to chip in. They promised that they could handle things and that she should just focus on resting up. Once Zach got back with the baby, they said their goodbyes, and headed home, avoiding the waiting room in case Liz and her family was still there.

Damon spent the drive home ruminating on why he found it so uncomfortable to meet his friend’s husband. Sure, he had no burning desire to meet the man, but it bothered him more than he would have expected. Even just being attracted to Liz would have just made him amused to meet him. That was when he realized that it went far beyond attraction. He’d fallen in love with her. Or at least was well on his way. And he loved little Caroline too. Now he just had to decide what to do about it. Liz talked about Bill a lot, but never badly. Maybe trying to remind both Damon and herself that she was married? Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Damon could read between the lines though and knew she was unhappy. Knew that Bill paid her little attention and just went through the motions. And judging by the way Bill had been checking him out, he had an idea of why. Which meant they would be over sooner or later anyway. The question was whether or not Damon should nudge it along. On one hand, intentionally breaking up a marriage was a pretty shitty thing to do. On the other, they would both be happier in the long run and dragging it out would make things worse and hurt everyone more. Especially Care Bear. No, better to get it over with. But he couldn’t do anything overt, no. That would hurt his chances later. He would have to be subtle. He could do subtle.

Chapter Text

Once Gail and Zach got home with baby Sarah, it was present time. Most everyone had gotten presents during the baby shower that Damon and Stefan missed, but some of the guests at the boarding house who also hadn’t been there for it got small little things that Zach and Gail opened up before the big ones from Damon and Stefan. “Did you two coordinate?” Gail asked amusedly when she opened the two gift baskets that just had different themes.

“No, dorkwad here wouldn’t tell me what he got,” Stefan gave his brother a playful shove, also giving him credit as getting the present first. “I had to guess and hope I wasn’t getting the same thing.” Though if he’d had to guess now, he would have figured the Care Bears basket. At the time he didn’t know about Damon’s nickname for Caroline or how close they were getting.

“Looks like you did a decent job of it there, little brother,” Damon chuckled.

“They’re both beautiful. Thank you,” Gail smiled brightly at them as she placed both a Care Bear and a Jasmine into the bassinette on either side of the sleeping baby. She knew brotherly competition when she saw it and wasn’t favoring one over the other.

Zach brought over the baby book then with the stack of pictures. “You want to help us pick out the pictures for it?” he asked Damon and Stefan who eagerly agreed. There was space for six pictures in the birth section, as well as mother and baby hospital bracelets and footprints. The first picture was a close-up of her yawning. Then one of mother and baby. Then the three of them. The second page had one of the whole family, with Damon and Stefan standing behind Zach and Gail who was holding the baby and then one each of Stefan and Damon with the baby. They’d vetoed the one with the two of them and the baby together claiming it made them look like a couple.

The vampires proved to be a big help during the nights, much to Zach and Gail’s relief. Since vampires needed less sleep, they each took an overnight feeding most nights to give the parents a break. They were easily able to hear the cries from their rooms despite the distance. It helped that Gail wasn’t breastfeeding which meant they /could/ feed and change her. Even if the smell was even more awful for vampire noses. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” Damon teased little Sarah regularly. Zach and Gail often wondered how new parents coped without a pair of vampires around as assistants and were sure to show their appreciation for all the help.

Sarah was a week old before Gail was okay letting her out of her immediate vicinity, and Damon was quick to offer to take her for a walk, hoping he would run across Liz at the park. Or just walking around. She was usually doing one of the two at that time in the afternoon. He took the stroller and got the car seat strapped in his car to head to the square where he usually parked when walking around town. Once he got there, he got Sarah out and into the stroller and made his way towards the park. He was in luck when he saw Liz and Caroline there, Caroline playing in the sandbox at the moment which meant he could just sit and talk to Liz. “Fancy meeting you here,” Damon grinned as he sat down.

“Babysitting duty?” Liz asked, leaning over to make a few faces at the baby.

“Something like that,” Damon chuckled. “Figured it was time to give Gail a bit of peace and quiet.”

“The perfect gift for a new mother,” Liz said amusedly. “Or any mother really.” She would definitely kill for something like that but Bill didn’t really take Caroline places. Oh he paid attention to her and played with her after dinner sometimes, but only when Liz was right there.

“Everyone deserves peace and quiet sometimes,” Damon said. “Being a mom shouldn’t change that.”

Liz realized that this line of conversation was getting dangerously close to criticizing her husband. And doing so to Damon was not a good idea. To other women, sure, but not to the hot young guy friend, so she changed the subject. “She really is a cutie.”

“Yeah, she is. She’s got my nose, see?” Damon joked. Even if they could tell who she looked like at that age, she wasn’t likely to get anything from him as far back as they were related.

“Uh-huh. I see,” Liz humored him.

“Hey, you want return the picture favor?” Damon suggested, noticing Caroline take notice as well. He did want some pictures of him with Caroline too, but asking would be weird, so he would take the opportunities as they came.

“Yeah, sure. You got a camera?” Liz asked, and Damon pulled one out of the diaper bag as Caroline came running up.

“Me!” she said insistently raising her arms.

“You want in the pictures too?” Damon asked her sweetly, getting a nod. “Do you mind?” he asked Liz.

“Not at all,” Liz chuckled. Caroline was always getting into as many pictures as she could. If she saw a camera, she was posing.

Damon picked her up and set her on his knee and then picked Sarah up with his other arm. “Care Bear this is Sarah.”

“Baby!” Caroline said reaching over to pat her head as Liz snapped the first picture candid.

“Yeah. She’s a baby,” Damon said. “Which means you have to be gentle.”

“Pity,” Caroline said.

“Yes, she’s very pretty,” Damon chuckled. “Just like you.” He was getting better at figuring out her speech. When Caroline leaned over to give the baby a kiss, Damon’s arm held her back. “No biting,” he warned.

“No bi,” she agreed and Damon let her go to press a sloppy little kiss to the baby’s head, prompting another picture from Liz.

“Now why don’t we look at the camera and get some pretty pictures,” Damon suggested, shifting baby Sarah to be seen easily on one arm as Caroline sat on his other knee.

“Ya!” Caroline said happily and turned towards her mother who snapped a couple more pictures before handing Damon his camera back.

Damon set Caroline back down, chuckling a bit when she pressed one of her sloppy kisses to his cheek in the process before she ran back to the sandbox. “We can try and get some pictures of just you and Sarah sometime when she’s not paying attention,” Liz offered.

“No, it’s okay. I’m sure these two will grow up to be great friends and now we have photographic evidence of their first meeting,” Damon grinned.

“And if they end up being enemies?” Liz asked amusedly.

“Then we have pictures to torture them with,” Damon laughed. Over the two hours he was there, he didn’t get to spend as much time with Liz as he might have liked since everyone, adult and child alike, wanted to come see the new baby, so Damon was talking to most everyone around as Liz went to take Caroline on the swings and slide and she’d recently gotten interested in the rocking animals.

Liz did keep half an eye on Damon without even realizing it as she played with her daughter, especially when he cheerfully fed the baby and then found an out of the way place to change her diaper and she found herself unconsciously comparing him to her husband who had never changed a diaper in his life and she could count on one hand the number of times he’d fed Caroline as a baby. She shook that thought off. Bill worked long hours. Of course he didn’t do as much as a guy without a job who lived on family money. It wasn’t fair to compare them.

The next time Damon popped by the park a few days later, Liz asked, “No baby today?”

“Nah. Today’s Stefan’s uncle day,” Damon told her.

“And yet you’re here with all the other little children,” she pointed out amusedly as she pushed Caroline on the swing.

“I got that,” Damon took over. “What can I say? I like kids,” he shrugged.

“Careful people don’t get the wrong idea,” Liz warned him.

“You know, that’s always bugged me,” Damon said thoughtfully. “I mean, I get why and all, but…no one ever looks twice at a woman hanging around kids. I mean, if it wouldn’t make men look so bad and make people so suspicious I might have had more experience with babies and kids before Sarah came along.”

“You’re right. But also in that there are good reasons,” Liz said. “I can see both sides of that issue.”

“At least /you/ know I’m not a creep,” Damon chuckled. “This little princess just has me wrapped around her little finger,” he said to Caroline.

“The finger you almost lost?” Liz teased. Damon still brought that up sometimes.

“It was love at first bite,” Damon joked, getting an amused snort from Liz before Caroline decided she wanted to slide.

Damon usually went back and forth between helping her up the steps and catching her at the bottom. This time was a catching her at the bottom time which, of course, ended with the high lift and cheer. Liz couldn’t help herself from getting a couple pictures of Caroline’s happy squeals during it. It wasn’t until Damon was taking a turn holding her on the rocking lion and she snapped a couple pictures of that when she realized what she was doing and put her camera away with a frown. It didn’t take long for Damon to notice the change in her mood, so he said his goodbyes and headed home.

Chapter Text

Damon could only think of one reason for Liz’s abrupt change in mood, and he brought it up to Stefan on their way to the city to feed that evening. “I think I have a problem.”

“You’re in love with Liz,” Stefan said knowingly.

“Am I that obvious?” Damon frowned.

“Only because I know you so well,” Stefan shrugged.

“I think she figured it out too,” Damon sighed.

“Why do you think that?” Stefan asked.

“Because earlier we were at the park and I was playing with Caroline and we were talking and laughing and then suddenly she just got…quiet and serious,” Damon said.

“Much as I hate to say this and encourage this situation…did you ever think it might be the other way around?” Stefan asked.

“What do you mean?” Damon asked.

“I mean…maybe she realized that /she/ had feelings for /you/,” Stefan rolled his eyes at his obtuse brother.

“You think?” Damon asked with a tilt of his head as he tried to think back over what happened.

“I don’t /think/ anything. Just that it’s a possibility. But again, I would like to reiterate that she’s /married/,” Stefan said seriously.

“And I’m pretty sure her husband is gay, so…”

“Damon, be serious,” Stefan sighed.

“I am. You didn’t see the way he was checking me out when we met at the hospital. And from what I can tell and reading behind the lines of her comments, he pays her little to no attention at all,” Damon said.

“So what? You plan to seduce him and make him realize he’s gay so he leaves her or something?” Stefan asked.

“Nothing so crass. No, I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but what I /do/ know, is that if I have any direct hand in ruining her marriage, she’s not likely to forgive that no matter any feelings that might be there,” Damon said.

“I’m glad you realize that,” Stefan said relieved. “And no. I will not do it for you,” Stefan added before Damon could get any ideas.

“You know…that’s not being a very good wingman,” Damon joked, not having planned to ask his brother to anything anyway.

“I’ll wingman you with /single/ women. I’m checking out on the married ones,” Stefan laughed.

“Hey we should hit a club tonight. We haven’t done that in a while,” Damon decided.

“Sure thing, brother,” Stefan agreed. He could stand to cut loose a bit too. Though not nearly as much as Damon tended to. For one thing, Stefan just couldn’t bring himself to have sex in dark corners in public like Damon so often did. That was the kind of thing the old Stefan would be appalled at and disapproving of. He just had trouble understanding why he used to be that way. They were consenting adults and it wasn’t like Damon was compelling women into it. It was none of his or anyone else’s business. God, he used to be such a miserable little dick. He was just glad he got a chance to fix it before it was too late.

Neither brother made it back to the boarding house that night, but met back up around nine the next morning to head home. That was when Damon decided to bring up a more difficult discussion. “You said you killed Katherine in the future?”

“Yeah. I did. I held her almost as responsible as myself for what happened to you,” Stefan admitted.

“Are you planning to again?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Stefan said honestly. “Do you have an opinion on that?”

“She left me miserable and missing her for a hundred and thirty years. Thinking that I had to save her from a fate worse than death. Making sure I never found love or happiness in all that time. She knew I was in the Augustine dungeon and just left me there. And she did it all on fucking purpose. What do /you/ think my opinion is?”

“I think we need to start planning a brother’s hunting trip,” Stefan smirked. “I’m more familiar with her patterns and way of thinking after spending so many years tracking and hunting her in the future, so I’ll start looking. And then once I find her, we’ll go. It’ll be a lot easier once the internet comes out in a few years though.”

“From what you’ve said about this internet thing, I would imagine,” Damon agreed. “I’m not in any hurry.” Revenge was a dish best served cold after all. Part of the reason he was so intent on revenge was because he couldn’t shake the idea that if she hadn’t been such a bitch he wouldn’t be in the difficult position he was in now. He could have found love a long time ago. He wouldn’t have gone running home to Mystic Falls to meet the most perfect woman in the world who just happened to be married. Well if he wanted to get technical, he would probably be dead. He wouldn’t have left Enzo there if not for the fact that he had to live to save her from the tomb. But then he might not have ended up with the Augustines in the first place…and now he was getting a headache. This was why he hated playing ‘what if’. No matter the what if’s though, she had deliberately ripped his heart out. Just the fact that she’d been at Whitmore in fifty-seven, knowing that he was a prisoner there, was enough to justify killing her in his mind.

“Good. Because she’s a slippery one,” Stefan told him. “It’s gonna take a while to pin her down.” And soon after the internet started, before she realized the true dangers of it, would be the easiest time. “Which reminds me…we need to start drinking vervain.”

“We what?” Damon asked incredulously. “Why would we do something so stupid?”

“Because it’s possible to build up a resistance to it,” Stefan said. He hadn’t bothered in the future, but he learned about her resistance the hard way. And almost died because of it. But thankfully she liked to brag so he had a pretty good idea of how it worked. “We’d have to start small, but once we get strong enough, we’d be able to shake off vervain tranquilizers and even manage to avoid reactions if someone doses our drinks to out us.”

“Well when you put it that way,” Damon sighed. “Okay, I still have the vervain I switched out from Zach and Gail.” He wasn’t one to leave a weakness at his back if he could help it. No matter how unpleasant it would be. “Did Zach tell you that we’ve been invited to join the council?”

“He did. But I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Stefan shook his head.

“I think it’s the best idea,” Damon said.

“Why?” Stefan asked surprised. “You realize that they’re a vampire /hunting/ council. Not a vampire /hugging/ council right?” he asked sarcastically.

“Really? I never would have guessed,” Damon rolled his eyes. “But declining such an honor would be a little suspicious don’t you think? Not to mention, if we’re /on/ the council we can stay ahead of any suspicions.”

“There is that,” Stefan had to admit. Damon was always much better at the cloak and dagger than he was. He’d always been the type to stay in the background and hide in the shadows instead. “Okay. We can join then.”

“Excellent. Infiltration is always fun,” Damon grinned.

“Just remember it’s not a game,” Stefan said amusedly. “And that it’s not just /our/ lives if it goes bad. Zach and Gail will catch hell if it gets out that they’ve been harboring vampires.”

“It won’t come to that,” Damon assured him. “And even if it does, we’ll just say we switched out their vervain and compelled them. No one can fault them for that.”

“I suppose,” Stefan sighed. “But I’d really rather not go on the run either. And especially risk losing one of us.” He fought back the mental image of Damon being killed by the council after being outed.

“It won’t come to that,” Damon said again more seriously, understanding exactly why his brother was so nervous now. And he would never risk Stefan’s life either. “Especially once we get our vervain resistance up.” That was even more important now.

“That will definitely help,” Stefan agreed. It made him feel a lot better about this insanity with that in their back pocket. He just hoped it was enough.

Chapter Text

Liz and Caroline stayed in for almost a week, not going to the park or on their walks around town. They played indoor games or played in the backyard and Liz did a lot of baking as her mind was in so much turmoil. She wasn’t an unfaithful wife. She refused to be. Even though her husband had barely touched her since she got pregnant with Caroline, she’d never even considered looking elsewhere. She hadn’t seen anything wrong with making friends though. That had been her mistake. Appreciating his attention and his compliments had led to much more than she wanted. And how amazing he was with Caroline just made it even harder. God, how could this happen? How the hell did she end up having feelings for another man?

It only got worse when she got the pictures developed from her most recent roll of film. Seeing the pictures of him so happily playing with Caroline…he almost looked like a dad and the warmth in her heart at seeing them had her separating all those out and tucking them in the back of the top shelf of her closet. No, she wasn’t doing this. She couldn’t do this. It had to end. The friendship, all of it. No matter how much it hurt. Caroline was young enough that she would forget her new friend soon enough and she could just get back to her normal life. Her normal miserable lonely life…but no. She’d made vows and she would keep them. No matter what.

Eight days since she last saw Damon, Liz put Caroline in the car and headed for the boarding house for the most difficult conversation of her life. At least so far. She would prefer if she could get a babysitter for this, but Bill would notice and would wonder what she was doing. And she didn’t even have the excuse of a party like she had with the eclipse party that had started all this in the first place. Having Caroline there would just make it harder, but she didn’t have a choice. Once she got there, she took a few deep breaths to steady her resolve before taking Caroline out and putting her in her stroller to head inside.

She saw the hustle and bustle of a packed boarding house, but it took her no time at all to spot Damon chatting with his brothers to one side of the room, holding Sarah in his arms. He caught her eye at almost the same moment and leaned over to say something to Stefan before handing the baby gently to Zach and coming over. “Fancy seeing you here,” Damon said with his trademark grin, trying not to show his worry. She hadn’t been around at her normal times lately.

“We need to talk,” she said seriously.

“Okay. /Alone/ alone or just an out of the way corner?” Damon asked.

“Corner,” she said, determined to stay in public view for this at the very least.

“Okay, come here,” he led her to a spot where no one was in earshot. “What’s up?”

“We can’t spend time together anymore,” Liz said bluntly, noticing the quick look of pain flash over Damon’s face before he wiped it off and felt the need to explain. “It’s just…my husband and I are having problems and the way it looks…”

Damon made up a new plan on the fly. “I hope things get better with your husband. Assuming he doesn’t bat for the other team or something,” he joked.

“Damon…” she rolled her eyes, well familiar with his sense of humor.

“No, no. I know. It’s just anyone who can’t see what an amazing woman you are has to have some serious damage or something,” he said charmingly.

“Don’t…” Liz winced.

“Right. Sorry. That was too far,” Damon said sheepishly, having had that plan all along. “You’re right. We should step back.” He crouched down in front of Caroline’s stroller. “Goodbye Care Bear. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime huh?” Damon said, lacing sadness in his voice that wasn’t at all an act as he reached out and brushed a hand over her had and down her cheek. “Be good, kiddo. And take good care of Aba,” he patted the bear she still carried around with her all the time. He stood back up and leaned over, pressing a soft lingering kiss to Liz’s cheek. “Goodbye Liz,” he whispered, meeting her eyes for a moment before walking away.

“Goodbye, Damon,” she whispered, thinking he was too far away to hear it by that point as she tried to slow her racing heart. That had been even harder than she imagined. And she realized that the feelings she’d been having weren’t one-sided at least. And that just made it worse. Because if she hadn’t been careful, she /could/ have ended up cheating on her husband. Something she’d sworn she would /never/ do. At least he’d taken it as well as could be expected.

“Dama pay!” Caroline called out, confused as to why he was walking away without playing with her.

“Not today, Caroline,” Liz said sadly, jolting out of her daze as she turned to take her out. “Why don’t we go to the park anyway though.” Now that Damon knew he shouldn’t come join them it should be safe enough.

Damon got back to Stefan, Zach having taken Sarah to change her, and retook his seat, gratefully taking the drink refill his brother had poured him. “So that’s it? It’s done?” Stefan asked, wondering if Damon planned to fight or not.

“Until or unless she changes her mind, yeah,” Damon said sadly. He’d planted all the seeds he could without hurting his chances. Now he had to respect her decision and see what happened. Maybe if nothing got resolved anytime soon, he could work subtly from the husband’s side, but he was rarely around. Damon had only gotten a few glimpses of him around town and Damon was around a /lot/. Other than the one council meeting he’d been to, it seemed like the guy was a ghost.

“I’m sorry brother,” Stefan said regretfully.

“Go ahead and say it,” Damon sighed. “You know you’re dying to.”

“Well I /did/ tell you so,” Stefan gave in to temptation. “But I’m still sorry.”

“There’s still a chance,” Damon said, trying to convince himself as much as Stefan. “The husband can’t stay in the closet forever. And at least I have a foot in the door for when it does blow up.”

“There is that,” Stefan said, choosing to let his brother hope rather than point out how much he was banking on one look that could have a dozen different interpretations.

“I’m gonna go do some reading until dinner,” Damon said as he got up to head to his room, feeling the loss of Caroline almost as much as the loss of Liz. At least he had some pictures of himself and Caroline though. He didn’t have any with Liz.

“What was that about?” Zach asked as he returned with a freshly changed Sarah just in time to see Damon’s retreating back.

“He fell for a married woman he never had a chance with, tried to content himself with friendship, and it just blew up in his face,” Stefan said sympathetically.

“Ouch. That’s gotta suck,” Zach said with a wince. “Is there gonna be trouble?” he asked worriedly.

“Nah. He’ll respect her decision. But still hope for it to change.”

“Can’t really blame him for that much,” Zach nodded.

“Blame who for what?” Gail asked as she came over to retrieve the baby and chat a bit. Once she was updated, she too winced. “Poor Damon,” she said sadly.

Damon tried to tune out the conversation downstairs, but it was a lot harder when they were talking about him. Instead he just drank straight from the bottle and looked at the few pictures he had before going to write in his journal. He’d figured out why Stefan enjoyed it so much. He would absolutely not be storing his for the future like Stefan did though. No, when he was done with it, he was burning it. Maybe sooner if he ended up with anything incriminating in it. It was a good way to work out overflowing emotions though, getting it all down on paper.

He'd started journaling on a whim when he got his humanity back and was trying to decide whether to come home or not. When he was being torn apart by the pain of losing Katherine. When the nightmares were keeping him up at night before he figured out the trick to beating them. Whenever he would get to the point where he couldn’t breathe or focus, he would pull out the journal and get it all out. And it was coming in handy for this too. By the time dinner rolled around he wasn’t exactly okay, but he was steady enough to pretend to be. And to find his nightly cuddle buddy. This was one of those nights though where he just wasn’t in the mood for sex.

Chapter Text

Two weeks later saw a crying Liz bundling a sleeping Caroline, along with a few bags, into the car at ten pm as a frowning Bill watched from the porch. Liz tried to wipe her tears as she drove away, but they were steadily being replaced. She knew she should have just thrown those pictures away, burned them, something, anything rather than just shoving them in the back of the closet. But then if she had, then this whole huge fight might not have happened and who knows how long she would have been oblivious to Bill sleeping around on her. With other /men/ at that. Apparently Damon’s joke wasn’t so much of a joke. There was only one place she could think of to go. She just hoped they had someone working this late.

Once she pulled up at the boarding house, she got Caroline, still sleeping, into her stroller, threw the big duffel bag over her shoulder, the small one over her arm, and the diaper bag hung off the stroller handles as she wiped her tears and managed to keep more from coming for the moment as she headed inside. She just needed to last long enough to get a room. Then she could fall apart. She looked around for any Salvatore when she walked in, but the only one in view was Stefan, drinking and chatting with what seemed to be one of the guests. He spotted her quickly, noting her bags and came over to greet her. “I need a room. For a week.”

“I’m sorry Liz,” Stefan said a little louder than strictly necessary, hoping to draw his brother’s attention before lowering the volume to a more normal level. “But we’re full up right now. We won’t have anything available for three days.”

“Oh. Right. That’s okay. I can find somewhere else…”

“If you don’t mind sharing, I’m sure we could figure something out,” Stefan cut her off, mostly trying to buy time for Damon to get his ass down here to the rescue as Stefan knew he would.

Damon heard Liz’s voice before Stefan’s ‘announcement’, her voice being one of those things that would grab his attention anywhere. He immediately pulled away from his girl of the night and said, “We’re gonna have to take a rain check, sweetheart.” He bustled her out of the room, still fixing her clothes and headed downstairs to hear Stefan offering to figure something out. “You can take my room,” he said as he walked up. “I’ll just need a bit to get some things moved up to Stefan’s for a few days.”

“No, Damon, I couldn’t…” she started to protest before Damon sucked in a sharp breath and reached for her chin.

“He hit you?” Damon asked dangerously turning her chin gently to see the barely forming bruise.

“It’s not a big deal…”

“Right. He’s dead. Stef,” Damon jerked his head towards the door. Stefan didn’t hesitate to jump the counter ready to watch his brother’s back and not at all arguing for the life of a man who hit his wife.

“No, Damon please. It was just once. It’ll never happen again. Please just let it go,” Liz begged him with a hand on his chest to stop him. “Please.”

“Only if you swear to me that you’re done with him for good,” Damon reluctantly said. Not because he wanted them split up this time, but because he wouldn’t take any chance of this happening again.

“I swear. We’re done for good,” Liz said. Not even because of the hit, which Bill was completely appalled at himself for doing and practically groveled as soon as it was done offering her pretty much everything to make up for it. Including the house, the better car, and generous alimony and child support. No she was done for good because he was gay and had been sleeping with other men for almost two years.

“Okay. Then I’ll let it go. Only because you asked,” Damon sighed. “Come on. We’ll get you set up in my room until something else opens up.”

“Thank you,” Liz lost her strength to protest Damon giving up his room. She just wanted this night to be over.

Damon grabbed both her duffel bags and when they got to the stairs, he grabbed the front of the stroller to help her carry it up, leaving the back to her. Caroline was apparently a pretty heavy sleeper thankfully. Once they got up to the third floor, Damon put the stroller down letting her push it down the hall to his room. He set her bags down on the floor and said, “We can probably borrow Sarah’s crib for Caroline tonight. She’s still sleeping in the bassinette, so…”

“No, it’s okay. She can share the bed with me for tonight. There’s no need to wake anyone up. We can figure out the rest tomorrow,” Liz told him.

“Okay. Here, I got her,” Damon said bending down to take her gently from the stroller and tuck her into the bed. He’d missed her almost as much as he’d missed her mother.

Liz felt her heart lurch at seeing the care he took with Caroline, as he always did, but there was too much else intruding for that feeling to get much traction at the moment. “Thank you,” she said wearily. She would take any help she could get right now.

“What happened?” Damon asked gently as he turned back to her.

“Well…turns out your little joke…wasn’t so much of a joke,” she felt the tears brewing again. “He’s gay and has been cheating on me for two years. Since not long after we found out I was pregnant with Caroline.”

“I’m so sorry, Liz,” Damon said sympathetically, unable to resist pulling her into a hug at the sight of her tears and she was unable to resist taking it, burying her face in his chest as she wrapped her arms around his back. “Full disclosure, I did have a faint suspicion.”

“How? For the reason you said?” Liz sniffled.

“That and I’m pretty sure I noticed him checking me out when we met at the hospital,” Damon said. “It was quick, and I wasn’t sure if I just misinterpreted it or something, but…I swear if I’d /known/ anything, or even had more to go on, I would have told you. I wouldn’t have let you find out this way.”

“It’s okay Damon. It’s not your fault,” she said shakily, holding him tighter.

“So how did him fucking up lead to you being hit?” Damon had to ask.

“I said something I shouldn’t have in response,” she said cryptically, not wanting to admit that she’d popped off with a comment about how maybe she should have slept with Damon since he obviously didn’t give a crap about their vows. Given that the whole thing started with him accusing her of that once he found the pictures of Damon and Caroline it had been a low blow for sure. Not that it justified him hitting her by any means, but it had at least ended the fight.

“And for that, he hit you and kicked you and his daughter out of your house in the middle of the night, despite the fact that he was the one in the wrong, and you don’t want me to kill him why?” Damon asked pulling back to look at her.

“He offered to let us wait until morning to leave, and it’s only temporary. He needs time to clear his stuff out and get the house and everything signed over to me. I don’t think he trusts me not to burn everything he owns. I’m getting the house, the good car, and pretty generous alimony and child support. I just need to give him a week to get out and find another place to live,” Liz explained.

“I guess that’s not /terrible/,” Damon sighed. “If you need any help, Liz…with /anything/ you just let me know okay?”

“I will, Damon. Thank you,” she was starting to feel like a broken record thanking him so much, but what else could she do.

“And I meant what I said before,” Damon said softly, meeting her eyes and taking her chin in his hand. “You deserve someone who will cherish you and worship you.”

“Damon…” she breathed out, half in longing and half in warning.

“I know. Not now. But I needed you to know that,” Damon said with a half-smile before leaning over and pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Liz. Get some rest.” He grabbed his own duffel bag, quickly threw a few days worth of clothes in it, grabbed his book from the nightstand and his journal from under his pillow in under two minutes, and said, “Goodnight,” as he walked out the door before he /couldn’t/.

Liz took a deep shaky breath as the warring emotions crashed over her before she sank to the desk chair in tears. It was just all so much. Between what she was feeling for Damon, what she was feeling about Bill, worry about Caroline and how she would take all this, fears about the future, she was just too emotionally wrung out to do anything but cry. She soon made her way to bed to cry herself to sleep though, one hand resting on her still oblivious daughter’s back. How was she going to explain this to a one and a half year old?

Chapter Text

Stefan headed up to bed alone around midnight after penciling Liz in the guest book for the next availability that was set to open in a few days. Assuming she wouldn’t be staying in Damon’s room past that. He’d heard the conversation and wondered how long it would be before she gave up the ghost and went for it. He wasn’t looking forward to the ‘I told you so’ he had coming from Damon, but it was only fair if he man up and take it. It was his turn. He wasn’t particularly surprised to see Damon’s bag in there, but no Damon. He probably popped up at the door of his aborted tryst and would stay in her room, popping up long enough to shower and change in the morning.

Damon had, in fact, went to a different room. His aborted tryst was all about the sex which he was no longer up for. Now that he actually had a chance, he wasn’t going to do anything to screw it up. Any more than was necessary at least and sharing someone’s bed was necessary. There was another of the longer term guests who was always up for a cuddle-buddy though and that was the door he knocked on. He didn’t really consider the risk, despite the fact that it was on the same hallway as his room. He was always up before anyone else anyway. He, unfortunately, didn’t realize that toddlers were always up ridiculously early too.

Damon was slipping out of the girl’s room, still buttoning his shirt, the same one he’d been wearing the night before, on his way to Stefan’s room to shower and change when Liz came out, carrying Caroline. She stopped short at the sight of him and he could see the pain in her eyes as she said a clipped, “Morning, Damon,” and turned towards the stairs.

“Liz, hang on. It’s not what you think,” Damon chased after her.

“It’s fine, Damon. You don’t owe me any explanations. You’re free to do whatever and /who/ever you want,” Liz told him. She knew logically that it was the case. They weren’t together. No promises had been made. They hadn’t even /talked/ about /possibly/ getting together. She had no claim on him. If only she could make her heart realize that.

“Okay, yeah, that’s true, but…”

“I need to Caroline some breakfast before she starts screaming. Excuse me,” she turned away and headed downstairs without another word, leaving Damon standing there, shirt half buttoned, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do now.

Damon went up to Stefan’s room to shower and change and consider his options. Stefan was already down starting breakfast for those that preferred a hot breakfast rather than the fruits and cereals that were on option so he didn’t have a sounding board and would have to figure it out himself. Or wait until later, but he knew that if he left this too long he wouldn’t get another chance. Unfortunately, by the time he got out of the shower, the only thing he could think of was to just come clean. And he hated the idea with a passion. But if he didn’t, then he would spend the rest of his eternity wondering if it could have made a difference. If he could have had everything he wanted if he’d just sucked it up and told her the truth. Most of it anyway. It was still too soon for the vampire truth. But he didn’t have to give her details. Just enough to make her understand. He could go that far at least. And just hope it was far enough.

He got ready and went downstairs to find her and Caroline eating cereal, hers with milk, Caroline’s dry with cut up fruit pieces in it. There wasn’t anyone else down that early, but the early risers would start coming in for Stefan’s hot breakfast soon. He sat down next to her and said, “Please just let me explain.”

“It’s not necessary, Damon. Really,” Liz said tensely.

“I think it is. Because it’s really not what you think,” Damon tried.

“Oh so that was your brother’s room then? I could have sworn you said he stayed in the attic room.”

“No. It was a woman’s room. I’m not denying that. But I didn’t sleep with her. Well, I did /sleep/ sleep with her, but I didn’t have sex with her,” Damon said. “Look, here’s the thing…It’s…” Damon took a shaky breath. “I can’t sleep alone,” he admitted. “I know it’s ridiculous and embarrassing, but there it is.”

“Right. Sure,” Liz rolled her eyes. Just the fact that he was trying this hard meant that he wanted something more from her, but she’d already been with one unfaithful man and if he could leave her room after the moment they’d had and him implying that there would be more later, just to jump into bed with someone else, that made him too much of a risk for her to take.

“I’m serious,” Damon said. “There was this thing…I don’t like talking about it, but…I was kidnapped once and chained up in a dungeon for years. Ever since then, I just…can’t sleep alone or I get awful nightmares and don’t sleep at all. Stefan’s even shared my bed to cuddle with me sometimes when I can’t find anyone else. But we’re never supposed to mention that, so don’t tell anyone please.”

“You’re really serious,” Liz realized, able to tell by his voice and the way his hands were shaking just from the little bit he mentioned. She reached over and put her hand over one of his shaking ones.

“Yeah. I am,” Damon said earnestly. “I mean, not that I never have sex with my bed partners, obviously, but…last night I didn’t. And until I know I know what’s happening here with us, I won’t. And I would /never/ be unfaithful to someone I was in a relationship with. No matter what.”

“Okay. I believe you,” she said, feeling some of the pain her chest ease. The pain that she knew she had no right to have, but couldn’t help regardless. She needed some time to think before she could make the offer that was on the tip of her tongue though.

“Thank you. And I’m not asking for anything from you right now. I want you to know that. Just…all I ask is that one day…when you’re ready…you consider me. And maybe go back to being friends in the meantime?” Damon asked hopefully.

“Friends is good. The rest, we’ll see,” Liz agreed.

“Thank you,” Damon said relieved.

“Dama pay?” Caroline asked, now that she could sense that her mother wasn’t so upset anymore.

“Why don’t you finish your breakfast first Care Bear and then if it’s okay with your mom, I’ll play with you, okay?”

“Ya!” she said diving back into her fruity cereal.

“It’s fine with me,” Liz assured him.

“Good. I’m gonna go check and make sure Stef doesn’t need any help with breakfast real quick first,” Damon said as he got up and headed that way. Zach and Gail didn’t usually come out until later anymore, staying in their rooms for Sarah’s first feeding and changing of the day and they came at the end of the hot breakfast rather than the beginning.

“You told her a lot,” Stefan said as he came in.

“I didn’t really have a lot of choice. She saw me coming out of Melanie’s room this morning. And after her husband cheated on her for years, I don’t blame her for being jumpy about that sort of thing. Sorry about giving up our secret though.”

“Under the circumstances, I can deal. As long as it doesn’t get around,” Stefan huffed a laugh, not reminding him that Damon was the one who was the most adamant about never speaking of it again. Stefan wasn’t that worried about it. Yeah, it might seem creepy to some people, but he wouldn’t be ashamed of helping his brother when he needed it. Damon was the one who was so embarrassed about needing it. “I hope it works out for you.”

“I told you, I had a chance. And that her hubby was gay,” Damon smirked, stealing a piece of bacon and heading back out to Liz before Stefan could respond.

“Stefan’s doing breakfast?” Liz asked curiously.

“Yeah. I’m on lunch duty today. Gail loves her work too much to give it up completely, but we try to ease the load so she only has to do one big meal a day. I do lunch every other day, Zach does dinner on the opposite days, and Stefan does breakfast every day. He loves to cook as much as Gail does.”

“That’s nice of you,” Liz said with a smile. “I’m surprised Gail wouldn’t take time off though. Bill refused to let me work until Caroline started school.”

“If we tried to make her take time off, we’d end up brained with a skillet,” Damon joked. “I would never agree with /making/ a mom of a little one work, but if she wants to, there’s nothing wrong with that.” He wanted his stance on the subject known for when and if they moved forward. “We all chip in and help her out so she doesn’t overdo it though,” he got back on the subject.

Chapter Text

Once they finished eating and Damon started playing with Caroline, Liz asked him, “Would it be a horrible imposition if I asked you to watch her for like half an hour while I make a quick run?”

“Not at all. I told you anything you need and I meant it,” Damon said. “What do you think Care Bear? We gonna be good to play for bit till your mom gets back?”

“Ya! Pay!” she clapped her hands together.

“See? It’s unanimous. You do what you need to do. We’ll be fine,” Damon told her.

“Okay, there are some toys and stuff for her up in the room if she’s not interested in anything you have down here,” Liz said, a little nervous about leaving Caroline alone right now, but she needed to go home and get her playpen for her to sleep in for a few nights and she didn’t want Caroline there when she was dealing with Bill right now.

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” Damon chuckled shooing her out. They had a decent stock of toys for the kids of guests. Not a lot, but some. He was sure he could find something that would interest her. It wasn’t like it would be long after all.

Damon had just gotten her set up with a playmat and was laying on his stomach with her helping her push buttons to make pretty lights as she giggled, when Zach and Gail came out with baby Sarah. “Okay, I think we’re missing something,” Gail said questioningly.

Damon got up, keeping half an eye on Caroline, so he could tell them quietly without broadcasting Liz’s business to the few guests that were downstairs already. “Liz’s husband has been cheating on her. They split up. Liz is staying in my room until the Howards leave and I moved some stuff up to Stefan’s in the meantime. She had to make a quick run, so I’m babysitting,” he gave them the quick version and then added, “And I’d be happy to make it a double.”

“Go right ahead,” Gail said with a chuckle and handed Sarah over while she and Zach went to have breakfast. It was always easier to eat without carrying a month old baby around.

Damon took Sarah and sat back down with Caroline who abandoned the pretty lights in favor of the pretty baby. At least for a few minutes. And then she wanted to show the baby the lights. Damon was a pretty self-aware guy. And /always/ aware of his surroundings. That meant that he definitely noticed the looks he was getting from the women in the room, particularly the single ones, as he sat there playing happily with the two babies. He just ignored them. Unless they looked like they were about to come over and try to join them, then it usually only took a look to dissuade them. He might not be technically spoken for at the moment, but it was close enough and he wasn’t risking another misunderstanding after he /just/ got himself out of hot water over the last one. Stefan, on the other hand, was welcome to join him and did so once he was done in the kitchen.

Stefan wasn’t quite as animated with the babies as Damon was, but still enjoyed spending time with them. Sarah at least, but Caroline was starting to grow in him too. Knowing how Damon felt about Caroline’s mother and how they seemed to be heading for something, he knew that she might be his niece one day too, so he appreciated the chance to get to know her too. Stefan was soon getting the same appraising looks from the single women, but he too ignored them. For a different reason than Damon. He was just trying to play with the kids. Not get laid. Though he would get back around to that later.

When Liz got back, she smiled at the sight of Damon and Stefan sitting on the floor playing with Caroline and Sarah and went to take the playpen up to Damon’s room. Damon had his back to the door so he didn’t notice her come in, but Stefan did. “I’ll be right back,” Stefan said, handing Sarah to Damon, and heading upstairs. He caught Liz coming out of the room after dropping the playpen off, and said, “Hey, can we talk a sec?”

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you too,” Liz said, glad that she got the chance to confirm Damon’s story now. Especially the outlandish parts. Not that she didn’t believe him. That kind of thing was just too horrible to make up. But the confirmation would still be nice. “Was Damon really kidnapped and held in a dungeon for years?”

“He was,” Stefan sighed. “I won’t betray his confidence by giving details, but the things he went through in there…are things no one should ever have to. I wish I could say that I helped rescue him, but truth is, I couldn’t find him. He rescued himself.”

“But you’re helping him now. And that’s what’s important,” Liz told him. “Please tell me that the monsters that did that are in jail at least?” she asked.

“They’ll never hurt anyone again. Let's just leave it at that,” Stefan said cryptically.

“Okay, yeah. We can do that,” Liz swallowed heavily. That statement combined with Damon rescuing himself said a lot. She’d tried to be very careful with her reaction earlier with Damon, but she could show her horror now. That and it had taken a bit to sink in. “How long has it been since then?”

“He’s been free for about four months,” Stefan told her, counting it from when he got his humanity back since he couldn’t tell her how long it had really been. “He’s healing though. And spending time with you and Caroline has helped a lot so I just want to say thank you for that.”

“I’m just glad I could help. And there is definitely a healing power in the joy of children,” she said with a slight smile, understanding a lot more now why Damon enjoyed spending time with Caroline and now baby Sarah. Caroline was the very definition of a happy child. Though a bit demanding of attention.

“I’ll see you later, then,” Stefan said before heading back downstairs. He knew Damon would have heard the conversation and hoped that he hadn’t overstepped. He just wanted to help ease the way and knew that she would appreciate confirmation of Damon’s story.

Gail had joined Damon and taken Sarah by the time they got back downstairs, and Liz smiled at the sight of it before heading over to play too. “Thank you for keeping an eye on her, Damon.”

“It was no trouble at all,” Damon assured her. “We had fun, didn’t we Care Bear?”

“Ya!”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Liz plastered a grin on her face for her daughter’s sake. Damon spent the next couple hours chatting with Liz and playing with Caroline before he went to start lunch. Lunch was usually just a simple pasta or soup which he could easily handle. Just making for as many as a few dozen people was the hard part. They weren’t a restaurant, so there wasn’t any tailoring meals to order or making multiple different meals. The guests ate what was offered or ate elsewhere and the weekly menu was always posted in the dining room so they could decide. He was just finishing up when Gail came in with the headcount and started helping to make the plates, followed shortly by Stefan and Zach who were all helping to take them out.

Damon took a seat next to Liz with his own plate once everything was served. He didn’t always eat with everyone. In fact, he rarely ate lunch even when he cooked it. Dinner was usually just to find his nightly bed partner. Today though, he was eating. And after lunch, he and Stefan took their trip to the city to feed early. He didn’t want to overwhelm Liz by spending the /entire/ day with her and as long as he was there it was just too tempting. They even prolonged the trip to the city by checking in at the bank. Damon was curious how the new investments that Stefan had given them were doing.

Once Damon got back though, he was drawn to Liz like a moth to flame. Especially since she looked rather sad whenever Caroline wasn’t paying attention to her. When she went up to put Caroline to bed, she invited Damon to come with her. She didn’t want to leave Caroline alone in the room, but wasn’t ready for bed herself yet. Once they were inside, Liz steeled herself to make the offer she’d been thinking about all day. “You’re welcome to stay tonight…just to sleep.”

“If you’re sure you don’t mind,” Damon happily agreed. That was a much better option than his other choices. He didn’t expect a relationship right away, but this, even if it was just sometimes, was plenty.

Chapter Text

Liz had spent most of the day lost in thought, trying to comprehend what Damon had gone through and how it could have affected him. It blew her mind how he could be the happy, funny, cheerful guy he was after all that. But then she realized that it was just a mask. The difficulties sleeping that he’d mentioned proved that much. But how much of a mask was it? Was that who he really was and he was just pretending to be okay when he wasn’t? Or was the entire personality fake? She soon figured out that it was the former. The way he helped out around the place and with the new baby, the glimpses she’d seen of him when she wasn’t watching…no, he wasn’t just trying to play her by pretending to be something he wasn’t. Whatever else he was dealing with, he was a good man.

Then she remembered what had been alluded to about his escape. That he’d killed people. Not the she blamed him in that situation. Anyone would have. But she remembered the cold hard look on his face when he saw that Bill had hit her. And his words of ‘he’s dead’ took on a whole new meaning. A rather frightening one. Even if they were in defense of her. But he’d backed off when she asked him to. That proved that he wasn’t bloodthirsty. That whatever happened to him hadn’t changed him that much. That he cared more about her feelings than just wanting to hurt someone. Unless he was just planning to do it behind her back, but she doubted that. He just didn’t seem the type.

She’d heard the guilt in Stefan’s voice when he talked about how he couldn’t find Damon and how Damon had to rescue himself. That explained how close the brothers were at the moment. Why it seemed like Stefan orbited around Damon. Why he would do anything for his brother, even cuddle him when his nightmares got too bad. Stefan felt responsible. And missing his brother so much explained why Damon seemed to cling to Stefan too. Four months. That was how long he’d been free. And he had already healed so much.

Now that she was thinking back, she could see the difference in him since they met. Not so much in his actions, but more in the ease of them. At first, it was like he was trying too hard. He was going through the motions. But over time, he’d relaxed more. He seemed freer. But what did he see in her? And it was clear that he did see something. He hadn’t exactly been subtle lately. Starting with that kiss to her cheek when she ended their friendship. Then this morning he’d come right out and said that he wanted something with her when she was ready. Was he just clinging to the first friendly face? No, if that was it he would have found someone single. And he clearly had a plethora of options if his bed was full every night. She eventually decided that she wasn’t going to figure out what it was he saw in her and her thoughts moved on.

They moved on to his sleeping arrangements. She did want something more with him. Very much. Learning about his trauma didn’t change that save to make him even more remarkable in her eyes. She could understand his need to have someone to share his bed. Especially so soon after what happened. But she hated the idea of him sharing a bed with other people. Not when she was so close to falling in love with him. She wasn’t ready for another relationship yet, but could she offer him what he needed? Could she share a bed with him platonically? She’d never shared a bed with anyone but her husband before, for all that he’d shared many beds. No, she owed him nothing. If she wanted to have sex with Damon she was damn well free to, despite the fact that they’d only been separated less than a day. But no, she wasn’t going that far. Not like that. Not as a form of spite. Not with him. But yes. She could share his bed. She could help keep his nightmares at bay. She was still more than a little nervous when she suggested it though, but seeing how his eyes lit up at the prospect made her sure that she was doing the right thing. Now to see if he used that to push for more.

Part of the reason she’d fallen for Bill in the first place was because he was the first boyfriend she had that didn’t try to push her faster than she wanted to go. That didn’t ask her for things that she wasn’t ready for. That let her set the pace of their sexual relationship. She knew why now, of course, but she still hoped for that kind of man /without/ the added issue. She wondered if Damon could be that kind of man. She supposed she was about to find out. When they got ready for bed, he stripped down to his shorts and undershirt, but stopped there and she stepped into the bathroom to change into her pajamas. What she called her ‘mom’ pajamas. Baggy, full pants, long sleeves, high neck, nothing the least bit appealing. When she stepped out she watched for his reaction, but he just gave her a bright smile and held the blanket up for her.

She smiled back and climbed into bed. She was a little uncomfortable in his arms for a moment, but when he started pulling away, obviously having noticed, she pulled him back, wrapping her arm around his middle. “It’s okay. I just need a second to get used to it is all. It’s been a long time since…”

“I understand,” Damon said softly, and waited patiently with a loose enough grip for her to pull away if she wanted to. As he felt the tension relax from her frame as she got comfortable he tightened his arms around her. She sighed happily and snuggled closer resting her head on his chest. Yes, this was perfect. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep. She was exhausted after a long and difficult day on little sleep the night before after everything that happened.

Damon laid awake for a long while, listening to both her breathing and the sleeping toddler’s, and feeling happier than he had in a long time. Getting his brother back had been amazing. Getting his family in the bargain, even better. But this…having the chance for a family of his own…this was everything. All the dreams that had been shattered by his encounter with Katherine. Some that had been pushed aside even before that when he became a vampire. The chance to raise a child with a woman he loved. Even if Katherine had worked out the way he’d wanted, she would never want anything to do with kids. But now he had a chance for all of it. If he could just keep from screwing it up.

He realized as he was falling for Liz that he’d never really loved Katherine. Not like he thought he did. He was obsessed with her. In love with the idea of being in love. Then he was a vampire and all those emotions got blown into overdrive and he learned that she was alive but trapped for a century and a half and those overwhelming emotions built this elaborate fantasy about what could happen. About him being the exception to her selfishness and cruelty. That of all the men she’d been with, some at the same time as him, he was the one she loved. He was the one who’d been given the key to save her after all. By the time he adjusted to the crazy level of emotions, that reality was so settled into his mind that he couldn’t see anything else.

Learning that it had all been a lie had torn him apart. Much like anyone whose entire reason for being collapsed around them, made even more difficult by the rapid return of his emotions and her cruelty to him. No wonder he’d been such a mess. Now though…now he knew the difference. He knew what real love felt like. It was a give and take, not just him giving and her taking. Liz made him feel good about himself in a way Katherine never did. In a way he hoped he did for her. He got as much from Liz as she got from him. And now it could be even more. And Caroline…such a sweet happy little girl. Who had dared to bite a vampire and then giggle about it. He still found that thought hilarious. He loved her just as much as he loved her mother. He had the whole package here. If he could just hold onto it. It was with that thought that he finally fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of their heartbeats and breathing.

Chapter Text

When Damon woke up, he stayed in bed for quite a while, just reveling in the feel of Liz in his arms. He figured out the day before that Caroline would be up early though, so eventually he slipped out of bed, grabbed a change of clothes, and went to take a shower. Unlike usual, he put his pants on before stepping out of the bathroom, but hadn’t gotten to his shirt yet, still drying his hair when he heard a little voice say, “Dama!” and hold up her hands.

“Gimme a sec Care Bear to finish getting dressed,” he chuckled.

His words woke Liz up who opened her eyes to look at him, unable to resist seeing just /how/ not dressed he was. She was hard-pressed not to drool at the sight of his flawless body, chiseled abs, and swallowed heavily as her eyes found his happy trail. She tore her eyes away and met his, noticing the glint of amusement there before he slid his shirt on and started buttoning it up, but he didn’t say anything about it and just moved on. “I can take her down for breakfast if you want to sleep in a bit,” he offered.

“No, I’m up,” she said as she sat up. With a floor show like that how could she not be? “But you can take her down once I get her changed and I’ll be right behind you once I get ready?” It would be easier to get changed and brush her teeth and hair without a toddler insistent on food.

“That’s fine,” Damon said as Liz picked Caroline up from the playpen and went to change her on the bed. On top of a baby blanket, of course. Damon waited patiently for her to be finished, before he went over and held out his hands. “You ready for breakfast, little bit?”

“Ya!” she said holding up her arms for him.

“I’ll be down shortly,” Liz told him as he settled Caroline on his hip.

“Take your time,” Damon said as he headed out the door. At least Caroline he could show his love for without scaring her away. And hopefully help Liz see that he would be an equal partner if she gave him a chance. Damon headed to the kitchen first and asked Stefan, “We got anything ready yet for the munchkin?”

“First pancakes will be done in a minute. She can have one of those. And some of the first batch of eggs too,” Stefan said. “So things went well apparently?”

“Perfectly,” Damon grinned happily. “And hopefully it will be a regular occurrence.”

“I’m sure that now that she knows you can’t sleep alone it will be. I don’t think she’ll let anyone else get their hands on you,” he chuckled.

“I can hope,” Damon smirked as he grabbed the plate the first pancake went on and went to scoop out a bit of eggs. “Thanks, little brother.”

“Anytime,” Stefan told him.

Damon went out to the dining area, not wanting Liz to worry if she couldn’t find them if they ate in the kitchen, and he put Caroline in one of the high chairs they had. When she reached for the plate Damon told her amusedly, “Hold your horses, rugrat. I need to cut it up and it needs to cool off a bit first.”

“Ee!”

“You will eat. In two minutes,” he chuckled, taking a look around to make sure he was alone before cutting at vampire speed. It wasn’t like the kid could tattle. He poured on some syrup and made sure the eggs were in smaller chunks too. By then it was cool enough not to burn her and he put it in front of her.
“There you go,” he grinned and she dug in happily.

Liz watched him go before heading to the bathroom to take care of her own morning routine, the image of him shirtless intruding in her mind quite a few times before something dawned on her while she was getting dressed. Years in a dungeon and he had no scars? That seemed odd. She put it out of her mind for the moment though. She would worry about it later. Maybe whatever happened to him just wasn’t the kind of thing to leave scars. She finished getting dressed and headed downstairs, finding a seat on the other side of Caroline from Damon. “Oh no…you gave her syrup,” Liz groaned.

“Should I not have?” Damon asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Long as you’re cleaning the sticky off her hands and face,” Liz challenged. She would take care of changing her clothes, but she had no problem putting that part on Damon since he caused it. Unless he just said no, in which case she would do it anyway.

“I accept your challenge,” Damon smirked, trying to sound more confident than he felt at the prospect. He hadn’t actually considered that, despite watching her eat with her hands.

“And I think I’ll take her to the park after breakfast so she can work off some of that sugar energy. You’re welcome to come along if you want,” she offered.

“I’d love to,” Damon easily agreed. “And then maybe we could have lunch at the grill? Just as friends,” he added quickly, not wanting her to think he was pushing anything.

“Sure. That sounds fun,” she nodded. She might not even mind it being as more than friends. But giving it at least a few days would probably be better. At least for word to spread about her and Bill splitting up so no on thought that the breakup was because of her cheating with Damon. There would probably be some people that still thought that regardless, but she could at least try. It wasn’t like she and Bill had really been ‘together’ in a very long time anyway. They’d just been two strangers living in the same house. And even that not all the time given how often he ‘worked late’ or had ‘work trips’.

When Caroline finished eating, Liz got to laugh at Damon as he tried to clean a more hyper than usual Caroline up…and then would need to clean himself up too as every time he captured one hand, the other one would smack him in the face full of syrup. “And /this/ is why giving syrup to a toddler isn’t a good idea.”

“Consider my lesson learned,” Damon laughed, giving her a look that begged for mercy.

Liz gave in and grabbed the hand Damon wasn’t cleaning and started there and then Damon got to her face and Liz wiped the globs of syrup off her clothes so she wouldn’t just stick her hands back in that. It was still sticky, but that wasn’t nearly as bad. Once she was clean, Liz took her upstairs to change her clothes and get the rest of it. They decided to drive separately to avoid the appearance of a date, so Damon left first while she was getting Caroline ready and met her at the park and had a nice morning, managing to ignore the stares. Apparently word was already getting around. The stares only increased when they got to the grill for lunch. Liz must have said a dozen times that she and Damon were just friends, backed up by Damon, and the fact that they weren’t acting like a couple at all. There was no touching or kissing or arms around each other. They sat on opposite sides of the booth.

If Damon wasn’t keeping his vampire hearing a secret, he could have told her that no one was talking bad about her. Just the opposite in fact. All the talk was about how Bill was gay and kicked her out and at least she was trading up and good for her. A couple of the founder wife harpies were making comments about her preying on rich founders, but they were in the minority and it wasn’t like they had any room to talk any room to talk anyway. Both of them had been chasing founders unabashedly since they were out of diapers. In fact, rich bitch on the left went through three founders before she found one stupid enough to marry her. He didn’t count their opinions at all.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Liz said as their food got there.

“No, it wasn’t,” Damon assured her. “They’re gonna talk regardless. Might as well get it out of the way. If you hide from it, it’ll just make it worse when you /do/ come out.”

“And thinking that we’re together?” Liz asked.

“Let them think what they want. Everyone knows that he was the one at fault. Even if we /had/ been having an affair…which we weren’t…he said louder for the benefit of eavesdroppers, “It wouldn’t change the fact that he’s been sleeping around for years and could never have been happy with you regardless. We’re friends and I’m helping you through a tough time. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if it becomes more than that later, oh well. We’ve done nothing wrong, so don’t let them make you feel ashamed for it.” Damon’s speech, louder than it needed to be, did the job of shutting everyone up and stopping the stares.

“Thank you, Damon. I think I needed to hear that,” Liz said gratefully. And so did everyone else, she didn’t add.

Chapter Text

Over the rest of the week before she could go home, they continued to get closer. They shared a bed every night, but for nothing more than sleep. There hadn’t even been a kiss between them, but emotionally, they were growing closer. Damon was falling deep into he perfect family routine and loving every second of it. Her last night at the boarding house, Liz was almost ready to take the leap. And only partially because it would mean Damon staying at her house during the nights unless she wanted to share his affection with others. They were laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep, when she admitted, “Would you think less of me if I told you I was scared?”

“On the contrary,” Damon said, running a hand over her back, not caring that there were pajamas in the way. “Admitting that takes a lot of courage and strength. What is it that you’re scared of?”

“Giving my heart again. Getting hurt again,” she said softly.

“I’m scared of that too,” Damon admitted. “The last time I tried the whole love and happiness thing ended just as badly as yours if not worse.”

Liz opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it as something dawned on her. “Okay, you said you were twenty-one…and you were kept prisoner in a dungeon for ‘years’…when did you have time to find that kind of love?”

“I…” Damon started and then frowned. When she started pulling away from him with a look of deep suspicion, he knew that he had just been backed into a corner. This was exactly why he didn’t usually get close to humans. If he didn’t come clean, she was walking away. “Okay, I can see how that might seem incongruous to you…”

“Was any of it real?” she asked accusingly, his reaction telling her all she needed to know.

“It was /all/ real, Liz. You’re just missing a big piece of the puzzle,” Damon told her, sitting up and reaching for her, but she snatched her hand away.

“Then tell me…because you must see how it looks right now,” she said suspiciously.

“Okay. I will. But you have to understand that this is pretty much the biggest secret ever. And I was never going to keep it from you forever. Just…it’s not the kind of thing that you want to tell someone right off the bat,” he said nervously.

“Damon, I need to talk to you,” Stefan busted in, grabbing his arm, and dragging him out into the hallway.

“One minute,” Damon told Liz, closing the door behind him.

“Damon, you can’t,” Stefan said.

“I have to, or she’s going to walk away,” Damon said.

“Then let her walk away,” Stefan said seriously.

“I can’t, Stefan. I love her,” Damon told him.

“I know, brother…but how long have you known her? To throw out this secret already?” Stefan asked worriedly. “It’s not just your life you’re risking. It’s mine, Zach, Gail, maybe even baby Sarah.”

“I’m not stupid. I’ll take precautions,” Damon rolled his eyes.

“Still, Damon…this is big.”

“I’m not letting her walk away without even /trying/,” Damon said. “I love her too much for that.”

“And look what happened the last time you loved someone,” Stefan regretted those words the second they came out, but it was too late to take it back.

Damon shoved Stefan against the wall. “That was a low blow, brother,” Damon said dangerously.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just saying…you can’t know what’s going to happen,” Stefan tried to backtrack.

“Here’s what I know is going to happen. I’m going to tell her the truth whether you like it or not. You can either stand aside and let me, or I’ll make you,” Damon said firmly. “Which is it going to be?” Stefan raised his arms in surrender with a heavy sigh and Damon let him go, heading back into the room. Unfortunately they, having much better hearing than humans, tended to underestimate human hearing which meant Liz heard everything.

Liz had her ear pressed against the door until she heard Damon’s hand on the doorknob. Her mind was cycling between terror of what she might have stepped into and the fact that Damon loved her. She unconsciously placed herself between the door and her sleeping baby as Damon stepped in. “What is going on?” she asked fearfully.

Damon winced as he realized that she must have heard all that if she’d gone from angrily suspicious to ready to flee in terror in the minute he’d been outside the room. He knew he had to be careful though. She wasn’t on the council…yet…but her husband had been and who knew what all he’d told her. He stepped towards her slowly, arms outstretched in a gesture of peace, trying to get close enough to do a compulsion first. He hated compelling her, but Stefan was right. This was too serious to risk. He knew that he could compel her to believe him and stop asking questions, but that was the easy way out and not at all fair to her. She continued backing up until she hit the playpen, and he stopped an arm length away from her. He didn’t want to scare her anymore than he had to. “You will never communicate the secrets of any Salvatores to anyone, nor by action or inaction intentionally allow them to be discovered,” he compelled.

She repeated his words in a daze and then shook her head. “What the hell was that?” she asked.

“I’m a vampire,” Damon told her.

“You mean that stupid make-believe stuff Bill was always going on about?” she scoffed. Like he could expect her to believe that.

Damon blurred across the room. “Not make-believe.”

“How did you?” she looked back and forth between where he was before and where he was now. Damon zoomed back to the other side of the room. “That’s not possible.”

“It is possible,” Damon told her. “I’m a vampire and I’m…” he paused to do the math in his head, “A hundred and fifty-five years old. I’ve been a vampire for a hundred and thirty of those years.”

“You’re…but…” Liz said, eyes wide in fear, trying to remember what all Bill had said that she’d brushed off before. “You’re a monster?”

“Define monster,” Damon said, trying and failing to keep the hurt from his voice.

“Vampires don’t have souls. They don’t have emotions. They’re murderers,” she remembered.

“Consider what people used to think about black people, Liz. About Native Americans. About South Americans. About Asians. People always hate those different from them. They always make up horrible stories to demonize them. Think, Liz. Can any race of people be lumped into a category of good or evil?”

“No, but…”

“But what?” Damon prodded.

“Vampires aren’t people…are they?” she furrowed her brow confused.

“You don’t think I’m a person?” Damon asked, this time the hurt was more prominent in his voice. “All this time we’ve spent together and you think so little of me?”

“I-I-I don’t…I can’t...I need to go home,” she finally managed to complete a sentence. Bill had left a message that afternoon that he was out of the house and it was all signed over to her and she could go home whenever. She’d just wanted one last night with Damon first, but now she had to go.

Damon blurred around the room and packed up everything except Caroline in seconds. “Okay. You go home and think. And then we can talk. If you want. Or you never have to see me again if you prefer. I won’t call you, you call me,” he said sadly.

“Can you…” she looked at the door.

“Yeah. I’ll go,” Damon sighed and walked out the door.

The last thing Liz heard before it closed behind him was Stefan saying, “Come on, brother. You can crash in my room tonight.” She winced with the closing of the door, but picked Caroline up gently, careful not to wake her and got her buckled into the car seat before taking her and as much as she could carry down the stairs. She would have to come back for the rest later. She wasn’t leaving her baby alone even for a minute right now. As she got into the car and drove away, it struck her that this was the second time in a week that she was fleeing from a man in the middle of the night. How did this become her life?

Chapter Text

Even with Stefan with him, Damon slept fitfully, which meant so did Stefan, but they were both up at their normal time anyway, Damon only because Stefan was and Stefan only because he had to make breakfast for everyone. Damon dragged himself up and headed down to his room, immediately noticing the things that were left behind. The stroller and the playpen. He gave a sad sigh as he ran a hand over the playpen, remembering what it was like to have a family for the short time he had it and feeling his heart breaking all over again. How many times would his heart have to break? At least this time there was a chance, however slim, that it wouldn’t be for good. That she would come back to him.

Damon went to take his shower and get ready for the day before folding up the stroller and playpen and taking them downstairs to the desk. Zach was standing there, getting everything ready for the day before going to eat breakfast, and Damon told him, “I’m going out. If Liz comes back to pick up her stuff, it’s right here.”

“Okay, what…happened,” he said the last word to the closed front door since Damon was already gone.

Stefan took the chance of blurring out the back door and around to the front just as Damon got to his car. “You’ll be okay?” Stefan asked worriedly, stopping Damon from opening the door yet with his hand.

“I’m not going to go off myself. Relax,” Damon huffed and then knocked Stefan’s hand off the door to get in.

Stefan sighed as his brother peeled out, desperately hoping that Damon was telling the truth, and then blurred back to the kitchen seconds after he left it in time to flip the pancakes just as Zach walked in with Gail and Sarah. “Do you know what’s up with Damon?”

“He told Liz about vampires and she didn’t take it well,” Stefan said.

“Already?” Gail asked.

“She caught him in some inconsistencies and was about to blow her top,” Stefan explained.

“Still…that’s risky,” Zach said worriedly.

“He compelled her not to tell. Very thoroughly I might add,” Stefan said. He hadn’t been so impressed with his brother’s technique since the ‘remember but forget you forgot’ compulsion also on Liz. “But yeah, he’s spinning out at the moment.” Stefan just hoped that he wouldn’t have to help cover up any bodies. No, he hoped there were no bodies to cover up at all. Damon wasn’t likely to ask for help, especially not from him. He wasn’t going to ask though. If Damon offered the information, fine, but as long as he didn’t explicitly know, he could avoid thinking about it. Honestly, as long as his brother came back alive, he didn’t give a shit what he did right now. He tried to remind himself that last time wasn’t specifically about Katherine. It was about being completely alone which he wasn’t now, regardless of what happened with Liz.

Stefan finished breakfast as he considered an idea. On one hand, Damon could see it as a betrayal. If he found out. On the other hand…if it could help…how could he not? Even if it did help, Damon would hate it. But he would forgive him. Probably. Hopefully. The real question was whether he could stand by and watch his brother’s heart be crushed again and the answer to that was a resounding no. No matter what came of it, he had to try. Just like Damon had to try telling her despite Stefan’s opinion. No, it wasn’t the same thing in the slightest, but it helped him justify it to himself. He went up to his room and pulled the singed and battered journal from the old timeline from it’s hiding spot and left, heading for Liz’s house.

When he knocked on the door, he heard her footsteps and noticed her look through the peephole. “What do you want?” she asked fearfully.

“Can you open the door? I can’t come in unless you invite me verbally and I won’t ask you to come out, so you have nothing to lose by opening the door,” Stefan said evenly.

“What if you do your mind control thingy on me to make me invite you in?” she asked through the door, remembering Bill telling her something about that.

“The same magic that prevents me from coming in, prevents my powers from crossing too,” Stefan said, not entirely sure if that was true or not, but he had no intention of compelling her anyway.

She cracked the door open just a bit and asked again, “What do you want?”

“To tell you a few things and to give you something. That’s all,” Stefan said.

“I’m listening,” Liz said, glad that Caroline was engrossed in a cartoon at the moment, much as she hated using those things as child-minders, she just couldn’t think about anything this morning and barely slept last night.

“There’s more than just vampires in the world. There’s an entire world of magic. Vampires, witches, werewolves, etcetera. And you have no idea the things that are possible. Including time travel, though that’s one of those once in a lifetime things that aren’t usually possible, but in the right circumstances…I’m rambling,” Stefan shook his head to get back on track. “I came back from a different future. One where my brother killed himself on May twelfth nineteen ninety-four.”

“But that’s…”

“More than three months ago, yes. This is his journal from that timeline. Everything except the last entry is the same as now up to meeting you.” Stefan hoped that the fact that there was nothing about Liz in this one might earn him at least a /little/ forgiveness from his brother for this. “He would be pissed beyond belief at me if he knew I was giving this to you, but you need to understand. And there are things he’ll never be able to talk about.”

“He was really kept prisoner for years?” Liz asked, torn between the sympathy she felt before and thinking it was good that a monster was off the streets.

“He was. And was tortured horribly between nineteen fifty-three and nineteen fifty-eight,” Stefan said, not afraid of telling her now. It was all in the journal anyway. When I said he was free for four months…that’s how long he’s been back in his right mind after his ordeal. See, vampires /do/ have souls. We /do/ have emotions. We just also have the ability to turn them off. What he went through was so horrible, and what he had to do to escape broke him. He turned it all off as a survival instinct. I wasn’t there for him. I hated him even. For stupid reasons over a century old. I couldn’t see past that in time to save him last time. But he came back from that edge. And I bent time and space to help him. If you can read that, and still think he’s not a person, that he doesn’t have a soul…then you don’t deserve him,” Stefan said as he handed her the journal and turned to walk away. “And please don’t tell him I did this,” he stopped to ask, but didn’t wait for an answer. He was back a minute later with the stroller and playpen and left it on the stoop before leaving.

Stefan left and went to the quarry. To see the blood rose. To see if /it/ thought this was as much of a betrayal as it felt like. He smiled a bit to see it still in full bloom. That might change if Damon found out though. He had no idea how it really worked. If it was their feelings or their actions that affected it. He’d done it to help his brother, but would that really matter in the end? He just had to hope. But even if this ruined his relationship with his brother, as long as it brought Liz back to him, Damon would be okay. And Zach, Gail, and baby Sarah wouldn’t abandon him either. If Damon couldn’t forgive him, he would take off alone. Let Damon have his family and the peace that he deserved. Stefan could handle being alone if he had to. As long as he knew his brother was okay and had everything he dreamed of. He gave one last look at the blood rose before heading home.

Chapter Text

Liz waited until he was fully gone before opening the door and bringing the stroller and playpen in and then slumped onto the couch, staring at the book in her hands in indecision before she opened it and started reading. In it she learned the highlights of his life story. Katherine, how they became vampires, how he spent a hundred and thirty years thinking she was in a tomb before she ripped his heart out. How she knew about his captivity and didn’t care. How he found her and what she’d said. She completely got what he meant now about his last try at love ending so badly. And it was even worse than hers. God, how anyone could be so cruel and spiteful to another person, someone who had done nothing but love them, it boggled the mind. And then she winced at that thought, realizing that she’d done the same thing to Damon.

The worst part though was when he vented about what he went through in captivity. The horrific tortures, the deprivations, Enzo, what he had to do to leave, why he had to turn it off. It struck her that all the torture he’d endured, and the only thing that could truly break him was having to leave a friend to die. She threw up more than once reading it and had to tell Caroline she was sick and to please just keep watching her cartoons. She was in the downstairs bathroom and could still see Caroline with the open door at least. She wished she’d waited until Caroline went down for her nap to start this. She realized that this was what the hatred that Bill had been spewing led to. To the complete sickening depravities against other sentient beings. And that was a road that she did /not/ want to go down. Under any circumstances.

In the journal she learned, reading through the lines, that it was perfectly possible for a vampire to feed on a person’s blood without hurting them and that Damon did so. At least most of the time. He did worry about his control and if he would hurt someone on accident and she would imagine that did happen sometimes, but people hurt and killed people on accident all the time. This should be no different. Everyone had to eat after all and he tried to be careful. Learning how hard he tried and how much he worried about hurting people was the last bit that pushed her over the line. Yes, he was a person. He was an amazing person. A person who loved her and…and she loved him. She didn’t care if he was a vampire.

She managed to pull herself up off the bathroom floor long enough to get Caroline some lunch and put her down for a nap before she kept reading. It was less than two months’ worth of entries, but they were long entries as he struggled with the feelings that he’d turned off for long, pouring his heart into the pages. He didn’t talk much about what it was like with his humanity off and what he’d done, but she could imagine. And after what he went through, she couldn’t blame him. The only hint to how bad it was happened to be in the last entry where he mentioned that he would rather die before turning it off again. And that last entry was the one that hit her the hardest. She could almost feel his hopelessness and despair and knowing what he was about to do…what Stefan came back in time to prevent…it brought her tears back full force.

Once she finished, she dashed for the phone and called the boarding house. “Salvatore Boarding House,” Gail answered.

“Hi, I was wondering if Damon’s there?” she asked.

“He’s out right now, but I can take a message.”

“Can you ask him to come see Liz when he gets back?” she asked. This was not a phone kind of conversation and she didn’t want to drag Caroline around while she was sleeping any more than she had to.

“I’ll tell him. I’m not sure when that will be though,” Gail said.

“That’s okay. Thank you,” Liz said before hanging up and wiping her tears again. Maybe she should have a nap too. She’d barely slept the night before and after so much crying and vomiting, she was even more exhausted. She napped in the living room though so she would hear the doorbell and be able to get to it before he gave up.

He wouldn’t end up coming before Caroline, and thus she, woke up. She tried to make up for the inattention for most of the morning by playing with Caroline all afternoon, but her mind still kept getting lost. Mostly on one particular issue. One she didn’t like now that she’d made the decision she had, but she still kept wondering just how much he’d messed with her mind with that mind control thing he could do. And whether he would in the future or not. That kind of ability couldn’t help but make her nervous. What if they got into a fight about something and he thought it was serious enough that he should use it to get his way? She didn’t think he would use it for anything but serious things, but what he considered serious might be different from what other people did. And she still hated the idea of it even if it /was/ serious.

That one ability, more than any other, scared her no matter how she tried to get past it. Then she remembered those herbs Bill had tried to get her to drink. He said they would protect her from vampire mind control and keep her from being fed on. She found them disgusting and refused to drink it, but now…were they still here? Or had he taken them with him? Once Caroline got involved in a game that she wasn’t needed for, she went to the kitchen to look. She wouldn’t mind him feeding on her as long as he was careful, but she needed to be able to protect her mind or she would always be jumping at shadows, wondering what was real and what wasn’t. She choked down a cup of tea with the gross stuff and then got back to Caroline. She considered giving her some too, but wasn’t sure if it was safe for babies, and since Bill had never mentioned having Caroline drink it, she would let it go.

In a way, she felt bad for drinking the herbs. Like it was some sign that she didn’t trust Damon. But at the same time, how /could/ she trust him without knowing for a fact that her mind was her own. He had used the mind control on her once already that she knew of to keep her from telling anyone that he was a vampire. She could understand that use, and was conscious of the fact that he could just as easily have made her forget the argument that led to it or just make her accept his holey story, and that did help. She did trust him. As much as she could in the situation with as much damage had been done to her ability to trust already because of Bill. If she didn’t trust him, she wouldn’t have invited him here, to her home, with her baby. There were just some things that she needed to have insurance for.

She also tried to think about other things that she may have missed that could give her some insight while she waited for him. Then she remembered how Stefan had apparently heard what Damon was about to tell her and unless he was standing right outside the bedroom door eavesdropping, which wasn’t likely, vampires apparently had very good hearing. And were extremely fast. She wondered what else they could do and wished she’d paid more attention to Bill talking about them. She wasn’t sure if he'd ever gone into their abilities though. Just the brainwashing type stuff. Stuff that she’d fallen for, to her shame, for a little while. God, she hoped she could fix this. If she didn’t already have the playpen back, she would go wait for him at the boarding house and stay there tonight, but that would mean loading it and everything else back up again. That and she wanted to get some stability back for Caroline.

That was when it dawned on her…with him not able to sleep alone…completely understandable now that she knew the whole picture, she would either have to get used to the idea of him sharing a bed with other people or he would have to essentially move in with her. Already. If not for what she just went through with Bill, she /might/ have been able to live with the idea of him sharing a bed with others. But just getting rid of a cheating husband, that was something of a sore subject at the moment. Could she be okay with living with him though? She thought about how nice it was to wake up in his arms every morning. How wonderful he was with Caroline. How he loved her so much that he would give up his greatest secret before they even had their first kiss. Yes, she could be okay with living together. At least on a trial basis.

Caroline didn’t really notice the absence of her father, which was sad in so many ways. He’d never really been there for her any more than he had been for Liz. Caroline saw more of Damon the last few months than she had of her father. She’d tried to explain what was happening, but Caroline wasn’t even two so Liz was pretty sure she hadn’t gotten much of it if any at all. She had cried for Damon that morning when she woke up though, having gotten used to him being there in the mornings for the last week. That was the last thought she needed to set her mind. If he was okay with living with her…on a trial basis…then she was okay with it too.

Damon still hadn’t come by the time she put Caroline down to bed for the night and she tried another call to the boarding house only to find that he hadn’t been back yet and she couldn’t help but be afraid that he wasn’t coming back. Even after her nap, she was still exhausted, but she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she fixed things anyway, so she might as well stay downstairs. She had the tv on in the background and dozed off and on for the next hour until the doorbell rang and she jumped up and raced for the door.

Chapter Text

Damon got back to the boarding house around ten pm. He’d considered just finding someone for a night of fun, but thoughts of Liz kept intruding. As long as he had a chance there, he was going to try not to blow it. That and Stefan was probably crawling out of his skin by that point. When he walked in, Stefan spotted him immediately and told him, “Liz called. Twice. Wants you to come by her house when you get back.”

“Thanks, little brother,” Damon said, bad mood lifting in a trice as he turned around and walked right back out. He just hoped it wasn’t too late and he wouldn’t be waking her up. He wouldn’t be able to wait anyway. When he got to her door, he rang the bell and heard rapid footsteps coming. “You wanted me to come by? I hope it’s not too late?”

“No, it’s fine,” she said quickly. She had a couple questions before she invited him in though. “Have you ever messed with my mind other than making me keep your secret?”

“I have,” Damon said honestly. “The night we met at the party, I saw things were about to get bad and I didn’t know how bad. I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt so I compelled you to leave and forget all about me. I thought I was going to end up leaving town anyway. When I saw you the next time, I undid that compulsion, but added one to not remember you forgot.”

“And that’s it?” she asked.

“That’s it. And I swear, I’ll never compel you without your permission again,” Damon said earnestly.

“Is it true that you can’t come in unless I invite you?” she asked curiously.

Damon kicked against the invisible barrier making it shimmer to her sight. “Yep. But once you invite me in once, I’ll /always/ be able to get in until or unless the house changes hands.”

“So saying the words in that sentence didn’t work either?” she tilted her head, trying to understand how it worked.

“No the magic is based on intent. You have to intend for me to come in,” Damon explained.

“Then, come in,” she said with a nervous smile. There was more she needed to say, but the rest could be done from inside. The part about coming in was just curiosity, but she’d needed to hear his answers on the mind control thing…compulsion he’d called it…before she invited him in.

“Thank you,” Damon said, warmed by the trust she showed and desperately hoped that it meant what he thought it meant.

“I need to apologize. For the way I reacted,” she said. “I just…suddenly everything I thought was real wasn’t anymore and my entire reality just got knocked off kilter. I remembered Bill trying to tell me those things and wondered what else he might have been right about. I just…”

“Needed to process. I understand,” Damon said when she trailed off. “And I probably shouldn’t have been so sensitive about it. It was unreasonable for me to expect you to just deal with all that out of the blue.”

“Maybe, but to think, even for a minute that you were a monster…with how well I know you…”

“People are killed by real monsters that they ‘know well’ all the time,” Damon pointed out. “I get it. It’s okay. But…you’re over it now?”

“Yeah. I am. I’m drinking that herb thing that Bill said prevents the…compulsion now though,” she said.

“Vervain,” Damon told her what it was called. “And that’s probably smart. While I would never compel you without permission, there are plenty of other vampires out there that might.”

“Even though it means you can’t drink from me either?” she asked.

“I wasn’t planning to anyway unless you specifically offered,” Damon told her.

“I do trust you, Damon. I just needed a little bit of insurance, you know?”

“I do know. And that’s perfectly understandable insurance. To my knowledge, any human dating vampires and often even friends of vampires have some sort of vervain protection. Mind control can be a scary thing,” Damon assured her.

“I have like…a million more questions…but they can wait. First I just need to do this,” she said as she screwed up her courage and leaned up to press her lips to his. Damon wasted no time in his reaction, kissing her back desperately as his arms wrapped around her. When it ended, they were both breathless and Damon leaned his forehead against hers. Liz was completely blown away by the feelings. That was incredible. How one kiss could make her feel more desired than she’d ever felt in her life. Could make her feel sexy. Feel loved. “Lets go to bed?” she suggested.

“Just to sleep, or…”

“Not just to sleep,” she breathed out. She was exhausted and had originally been planning to just sleep that night, but that kiss had awakened something in her. Something that had been missing for far too long and she was desperate for more.

Damon pulled her into another kiss, hungry and dirty this time, as he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he took her towards the stairs. She had to direct him to the right room and the clothes didn’t start coming off until they were inside with the door closed behind them. For the next hour, Liz was introduced to feelings she couldn’t have ever imagined. Sure, being as old as he was, he’d had more practice than the next guy, but there was more to it than that. It was like he just completely surrendered to the feelings, both physical and emotional and she couldn’t help but do the same. There was no question of desperately he wanted her and that was something that she’d never experienced before. He worshiped every inch of her body and made her feel /sexy/. Another thing she’d never experienced before was an orgasm, but she had three of those before he was done. “That was…amazing…” she panted as he rolled off of her.

“Mhmm…very much so,” Damon agreed, pulling her into his arms.

“As much as I would love to stay awake and enjoy this a little more, I barely slept last night and had a rough day today…”

“It’s alright, baby. Just go to sleep,” Damon whispered as he kissed her head.

“I love you, Damon,” she breathed out, mostly asleep already.

“I love you, too, Liz,” Damon whispered again, closing his eyes against the wash of emotion. Sure it was probably just the endorphins talking and she hadn’t meant it, but still…hearing those words from her lips hit like a freight train. Damon soon fell asleep as well. He hadn’t exactly slept well the night before either, after all, but this time he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Damon actually slept all the way through the night and was woken by a cry of “Mama!” coming over the baby monitor. Damon reached over Liz and turned off the monitor. When she woke up with a groan, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Why don’t you catch up on some sleep and let me get her?” he suggested hopefully. It would be the ultimate level of trust if she agreed.

“Mmkay,” she muttered and closed her eyes again.

Damon smiled brightly and grabbed his clothes, dressing quickly and heading for the sound of Caroline’s calls. “Hey, Care Bear,” he stuck his head in the room first.

“Dama!” she cried happily and lifted her arms to him.

“We’re gonna let mama sleep this morning okay?” he told her as he picked her up and took her to the changing table. He was old hat at diapers thanks to Sarah and Caroline was easier because she knew the drill at least and was somewhat cooperative. He got her diaper changed, but left her in her pajamas until after breakfast.

“Dama pay!” she insisted when he picked her back up again.

“Breakfast first. Then play,” Damon told her as they headed downstairs.

“Ya! Ee!” she agreed with his plan.

Damon set her down in the high chair and poured a small bowl of cheerios before cutting up a banana in small bites and mixing it in. “Here you go, princess,” he set it in front of her and turned towards cleaning up while she ate. He didn’t hold the mess against Liz after everything she’d been dealing with. Even without that he wouldn’t hold it against her. But it was remarkably easy for vampires to clean with vampire speed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do that as Caroline got old enough to realize what was going on, but for now it hardly mattered.

Damon was just putting away some magazines in a drawer that seemed to hold other magazines when he found it. He clenched his jaw at what it must mean finding it here. It meant Liz had read it. That she knew /everything/. Every secret, every vulnerability, every heartbreak. He felt…exposed…and he hated it. He was pulled from his musing by Caroline banging her bowl and saying “Aa Du.”

Damon pushed it all away for the moment, setting the singed and battered journal on the table and turned back to the kitchen. “All done, huh? Good job,” he said with a forced smile as he grabbed a rag and wet it to clean off her hands and face. “Let’s go get changed and then we can play,” he lifted her up out of the high chair and headed for the stairs. He let her help pick out her clothes and got her dressed and then headed back downstairs to find a game to play with her. As they galloped ponies around and he made horse sounds he kept finding his mind and his gaze straying to the journal. By the time Liz woke up, he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t really blame her for it. But he was going to /kill/ Stefan.

Chapter Text

Liz woke up a little after ten and then panicked for a second before remembering that Damon had gotten up with Caroline so she could sleep and she relaxed with a smile. She took a few minutes to wake up before getting out of bed and going through her morning routine and then headed downstairs. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and her smile widened to see Damon sitting on the floor dancing little ponies around making horse noises and funny voices as they talked to a giggling Caroline. When Damon looked up and returned the smile, hers started to slip as she noticed the tightness in his. Then she noticed the book on the table and winced. “Damon, I’m sorry,” she said as she stepped fully into the room.

“It’s not your fault,” Damon shook his head. “With everything you were trying to grapple with and process and then you were handed all the answers…I don’t blame you for taking. Or for reading it as I assume you did.” Under different circumstances if she’d found his journal laying around and then read it, he would be upset with her, but she’d been trying to make sense of a whole new world that she didn’t know existed. That made it…not necessarily /okay/ but understandable. And at least it was the old timeline version and had nothing about her. “No, I blame my brother. Not you.”

“Stefan didn’t want me to tell you he gave it to me,” Liz said, not seeing any reason to hide that fact since Damon had clearly figured it out already.

“Would you have? Told me?” Damon asked her, keeping the ponies dancing during the conversation, but leaving off the voices.

“I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “I hadn’t really thought that far.”

“Thank you. For being honest and not just telling me what I wanted to hear,” Damon said gratefully.

“I’ll always do my best to be honest with you, Damon,” she promised.

“So will I,” he returned.

“Mama! Ee!” Caroline abandoned the game to pay attention to her mother.

“Come on, baby. It’s about time for your snack anyway,” she said with a smile and Caroline got up and ran on her little toddler legs and lifted her arms for her mother to pick her up. “Did you have fun with Damon this morning?” she asked sweetly.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded emphatically.

“Good,” Liz smiled.

“I’m gonna head home for a while. Change clothes, talk to my brother, you know,” Damon got up.

“Come back later?” Liz asked hopefully. They had a lot to talk about still, but she got that he wasn’t in the mood.

“Sure,” Damon smiled and leaned down for a lingering kiss from her and then kissed Caroline’s head before grabbing his journal and heading out.

Damon walked into the boarding house and caught Stefan’s eye, jerking his head towards the stairs. Stefan winced at the look on his brother’s face, handed Sarah off to Gail, and followed his brother upstairs to Stefan’s room. Once they were inside with the door closed, Damon threw the journal on Stefan’s desk and said, “Care to explain that?”

“I wanted to help her understand. To see that what you are doesn’t define you,” Stefan defended himself only to be taken down by a right hook.

Damon was annoyed when Stefan didn’t try to fight back. He could really use a good fight right now, but he wasn’t going to kick his brother while he was down. He would just have to use words. “Okay good. So next time you start getting close to a girl, I’ll just give her all your secret journals to read so she can know every private thought and feeling of /your/ life.”

“That’s fair. And I deserve that,” Stefan admitted as he got to his feet. He deserved the punch too.

“Damn right you do,” Damon snapped and then picked up the book again. He yanked the ring out of the binding, putting it in his pocket and pulling out his lighter to set the journal on fire.

“No!” Stefan dove for it, but Damon just shoved him across the room and tossed the burning book in Stefan’s fireplace.

“I let you keep it because you already read it, so there was no point in taking it back. Because I /trusted/ that you knew to keep it private. Clearly that trust was misplaced.”

“No…” Stefan cried over the loss of the book. The one thing that had gotten him through so many years. His most prized possession. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he chanted brokenly.

Damon felt his anger fading to make way for concern. It seemed that his little brother wasn’t as okay as he’d been pretending to be if the loss of that old journal hit him so hard. That didn’t mean that Damon wasn’t right to do it though. And he was annoyed that he was starting to feel bad about it and just had to get out of there. “You deserved that too,” he just said angrily before storming out and leaving his brother crying on the floor.

Damon went down to his room and jumped in the shower, having missed his morning shower earlier, and he let the water wash away his temper. He was still pissed at what Stefan had done, and would probably stay that way for a long time, but he also found the concern leeching through more and more. Without the irritation that time. It ended up being a very long shower before he got out, considering what to do about Stefan. Helping his brother was a given. After all that Stefan had done for him, he would be an ass not to. But it wouldn’t be in a way that gave Stefan access to his journal like that again. In fact, he would take pains to secure his current one better. He was just finishing drying off and looking for some clothes when he heard someone at his door…a good sniff and a listen for the heartbeat told him it was Stefan…but then he moved off without knocking or anything and Damon sighed. It looked like he was dealing with this now.

Stefan watched as the last embers of the journal burned before he picked himself up off the floor and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He could mourn the loss of the journal later. Right now he had to try and fix things with his brother before he risked losing him again. At least it wouldn’t likely be to death this time, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be alone again either. He got an idea and headed out, walking at human speed until he got to the woodline and then raced through the woods to the quarry, returning to human speed as he left them. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the roses still blooming and went over to pluck one from the bush and then returned home. He went and stuck it to his brother’s door with a note that said, ‘I’m sorry’, and went back to his room to wait until Damon was ready to talk. Or yell some more. Or hit him some more. He would take anything he could get.

Once Damon got dressed, he opened the door to go find Stefan and stopped short when he saw the rose and note pinned to his door. He blinked at it for a good long moment before taking it down and heading upstairs. “You know…giving roses to your brother is a little creepy,” he quipped amusedly.

“It’s still blooming,” Stefan said hollowly, pointing out why he’d done it.

“Yeah. It is. Which I guess is proof enough that you were /trying/ to help. But you went about in the shittiest way,” Damon said.

“I know. But I didn’t know what else to do,” Stefan sighed.

“And staying out of it never occurred to you?” Damon asked pointedly.

“No,” Stefan shrugged. “Maybe it should have.”

“Next time, make sure it does,” Damon said in a clipped tone. “I’m not apologizing for burning the book. Or for hitting you.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Stefan said emotionlessly.

“Stef…” Damon started with a worried frown.

“Do you want me to leave?” Stefan asked.

“Huh?” Damon blinked confusedly, wondering where that came from.

“If you don’t want me around anymore, I’ll go. You have Liz and Caroline here. And Zach, Gail, and Sarah, so you can’t leave, but I will. If you want.”

“Stefan, hey,” Damon moved to sit across from him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, I’m pissed at you, and rightly so. But you’re still my /brother/.” Damon was starting to figure out why Stefan still clung so much to the journal. Or at least part of the reason. He was expecting all this to blow up in his face and for that to be the only part of Damon he still had. “You don’t need a stupid old journal, little brother. You’ve got me now. And no matter how pissed I get at you, that’s not going to change.”

“It has before,” Stefan said morosely.

“Things are different now, Stef,” Damon told him. “I stayed away because I thought that was better for you. And you hated me then. And we don’t even have the specter of Katherine looming between us anymore. This is a fresh start for us, brother. And I’m not giving it up without a fight. No matter how many times I punch your lights out for being an annoying little jerk,” Damon said the last lightly with a playful shove to take the sting out of the words.

“I’m not giving up either,” Stefan said, pulling his brother into a hug. “No matter what. You’re always my brother.”

“Always,” Damon huffed a laugh of agreement, patting Stefan on the back. "This doesn't mean I'm not still pissed though."

"Do you want to hit me again? You can if that'll make you feel better," Stefan offered.

"Not when you're offering like that," Damon snorted. "Feels too much like kicking a puppy."

Chapter Text

Damon left his brother, and headed back downstairs to spend some time with Sarah, help Zach out with the paperwork, and apologize to Gail for missing lunch the day before. Thankfully, Sarah was sleeping through the night by that point, so he didn’t need to feel bad for missing any nighttime feedings. Though Zach and Gail had assured him and Stefan that they didn’t have to help if they didn’t want to, they /did/ want to. He checked in with Gail first to see if she needed any help with the lunch he just started, but she told him she was fine and that Stefan had done lunch in Damon’s place the day before. Damon’s next stop was Zach in the office who had Sarah with him. Damon happily took her and babbled to her a little bit as he helped to sort the invoices with his free hand. Zach and Gail had tried from the start to pay him and Stefan for helping out around the place, but they had ended that discussion by pointing out that they weren’t paying for their rooms because family doesn’t pay family and it all worked out close enough to even anyway.

Once Damon got bored with the paperwork and Zach hit a point where chatting would be too distracting, Damon took baby Sarah out to mingle with the guests. The ones that were used to him choosing someone to take to bed every night had to have it pointed out that he wasn’t available anymore when their flirting got too heavy. He was good with normal flirting levels. He was a natural flirt too. But there were lines while he was in a relationship that he needed to make clear. The only one that was bothered by the fact was the one that he’d rain checked a little more than a week ago when Liz showed up and she just pouted at him which he easily ignored.

Not long after lunch, Stefan joined him along with Zach and Gail to sit and chat for a while as they usually did for a break in the afternoons and the baby was passed around the circle at random times. Damon had just fed her, so there wasn’t any worry about that. The feeding of Sarah generally ended up being whoever had her when she got hungry. Once Zach and Gail got back to work though, Sarah was handed off to Stefan and Damon went upstairs to pack a change of clothes that he hoped he would need and headed back to Liz’s house. When he got there, he heard them in the backyard so he just went around, leaving his bag in his car for the moment. As always when she saw him, Caroline came running over with her arms up happily calling his name.

Damon chuckled and bent down to scoop her up. “One day you’re gonna get sick of seeing me and stop being so excited,” he joked as he bounced her.

Liz smiled brightly and hoped he was right. That he would become such a regular fixture in their lives not that Caroline would get sick of him. She walked over and got a kiss in greeting before Damon put Caroline down so she could return to her playing. “I was just about to take her in to start dinner…”

“You go ahead. I’ll keep her out here. Just give us a yell when dinner’s ready,” Damon told her. “She looks pretty happy at the moment.”

“And how loud will I need to yell?” she asked, getting in her first vampire question.

“Just a normal voice is fine,” Damon realized what she was asking. “A whisper would be fine too if I’m paying attention.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, stealing one more kiss and heading inside. It was only about twenty minutes before she called them for dinner and then washes Caroline’s hands and face before setting her in her high chair.

“Mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. Yum,” Damon said amusedly.

“It’s a can’t miss meal for toddlers,” Liz chuckled. “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. We can find something else.”

“No, it’s fine. Vampires don’t actually need to eat human food at all, so if I don’t feel like what’s on offer, I don’t eat,” Damon explained.

“So all you need is blood then?” she asked as she took a seat at the table.

“Yep. And in fact, if we don’t have a healthy diet of blood at any given time, we can’t even process human food without being sick,” Damon told her.

“So when you do eat…”

“It’s just because I’m in the mood to. Or to be polite. Or just to keep people from noticing that I don’t,” Damon shrugged.

“Well don’t worry about being polite here. If you don’t want to eat, don’t feel like you need to,” she said.

“I’ll remember that,” Damon said, grabbing a chicken nugget from her plate with a smirk. Then he grimaced as he swallowed it, being polite enough not to spit it out at least. “Definitely remember that.”

“Don’t like it?” she asked with a laugh.

“Vampires have all of our senses enhanced. Including taste. Processed foods taste like…well the ingredients they use to process it which is rarely anything good,” Damon said looking for something to drink to get the taste out of his mouth.

“Yeah, pretty sure there’s not a lot of actual /chicken/ in the chicken nuggets,” she laughed as he found some milk in the fridge and poured a glass of it.

“I’ll have to remember to bring booze in the future when I’m staying here,” Damon said.

“Yeah, that’s not something I generally keep in the house. Bill had a bottle he kept in his office, but he took it with him,” she said a little hesitant about him drinking a lot around Caroline.

He caught the nervousness in her voice and told her, “Don’t worry. I’m not a drunk or anything. Alcohol affects vampires differently than humans.”

“In what way?” she asked, relief showing in her voice.

“Well for one thing, it’s ridiculously difficult to get drunk as a vampire. Our metabolism is just too high and burns it off as fast as it goes in.”

“Then why drink?” she asked curiously.

“Because for one thing, it helps dull the burn of hunger that never actually goes away, even when we’re not technically hungry,” Damon said. “Also there’s the fact that we’re predators by nature. Alcohol has a calming effect on those instincts. Once you’re as old as I am it’s easy to keep control even without it, but it still helps. Newbie vampires need it a lot more.”

“Kind of like an old ache that still acts up after years that you’ve gotten used to but the relief of asprin still feels nice?” she asked, trying to put it in some kind of context that she could understand.

“Exactly,” Damon nodded.

“Just make sure it stays out of reach of Caroline?” she asked him.

“Absolutely,” Damon agreed easily. “And while when I was a kid, giving your children whiskey when they were sick or to help them sleep was a thing, I do realize that it’s not anymore,” he joked.

“Good. I’m glad you realize that,” she laughed and segued into the big subject. “Speaking of keeping things here…I know it’s soon and all, but since you can’t sleep alone and I can’t be traipsing around with Caroline every night…” she lost her nerve and trailed off, biting her lip.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” Damon asked surprised.

“If you want to. Like a trial basis or something,” she muttered with a shrug.

“Liz…” Damon moved his chair over to her and pressed a hand to her cheek getting her to look at him. “Don’t feel like you need to offer something you’re not ready for just for my sake.”

Liz took a shaky breath for courage and said, “I know. I-I /want/ you to live here.”

“Why?” Damon asked in a whisper as they lost themselves in each other’s eyes.

“Because I love you. And I want you in my life as much as you’re comfortable being here,” she admitted.

Damon’s grin threatened to break his face in two. She really had meant it then. “I love you, Liz. And I want the same. And if you need to consider it a trial basis or whatever that’s fine.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon?” she asked hopefully. She’d been afraid that he would think she was moving too fast or just wanted a replacement for her husband or something like that.

“From a human standpoint, maybe. But vampires also have enhanced emotions and enhanced mental capacity to process them. Once we love, that’s it. We’re in all the way. I’m in this all the way. You set the pace, Liz and I’ll follow.”

Liz realized even more what his split with Katherine had meant with that explanation and the way he’d spent a hundred and thirty years pining for her. And it helped her understand how he could get over both it and his imprisonment so fast. “Then yeah. Moving in is good. On a trial basis,” she grinned.

Chapter Text

When it was time for Caroline to go to bed, Damon wanted to read her a bedtime story, so Liz let him and just watched lovingly as she fell asleep on his lap to his soft voice and then helped him tuck her into her crib before they went back downstairs for a while. She asked more questions about vampires in general which he answered patiently and eventually they were making out on the couch. As she straddled his lap something else dawned on her and she pulled back. “Should we have used protection last night?”

“No, it’s fine,” Damon chuckled. “Vampires can’t procreate. Nor can we get or transmit any diseases.”

“Okay good,” she said relieved. “I mean not that I would have been against having kids with you someday so it’s kinda sad that we can’t, but just…”

“I know,” Damon cut her off with a kiss. “I’d love to have kids with you too, but sadly that’s not something I’m capable of.”

“At least we have Caroline,” she said and then her eyes widened when she realized what she said, but before she could walk it back, Damon was kissing her passionately again so she just let it go. It was too soon to think that way, but whatever. She was finding it far too easy to fall into a life with him. Like it was just completely natural. Simple. Meant to be if she believed in that kind of thing. Though she was starting to. The whole mess with Bill being gay but giving her the child that Damon would never be able to and then Damon falling into her lap at just the right time. It did seem a lot like fate. She didn’t get much time to think though before she got her first taste of his speed firsthand as he blurred up to bed with her.

“I could…definitely get…used to this,” she panted as they caught their breath.

“You and me both,” Damon said happily, pulling her to his side.

“So, I’m curious…you said /all/ your senses were enhanced…including touch?” she asked, realizing that his surrender to the feelings could be more than she’d thought.

“Including touch,” Damon grinned. “And this touch here is just as wonderful as the sex part,” he told her as he cuddled her.

“It must be amazing to be a vampire,” she said.

“It is in a lot of ways. But it has it’s downsides too like anything else.”

“Like what?” she asked, needing something right now to keep her from asking him to turn her like she was very tempted to do.

“Like the hunger that never goes away that I mentioned. Always having to hide what you really are from everyone and pretend to be something you’re not. Needing cover stories all the time. All the enhanced senses are great for the good things, but pretty awful for the bad ones.”

“Like the smell of changing diapers,” she realized with a laugh.

“Not my favorite thing in the world to do,” Damon admitted amusedly.

“Well you do enough as it is that I’ll never ask you to change a diaper,” Liz promised.

“Except when you’re sleeping in and I’m getting up with her. Can’t really leave her in a dirty diaper for hours,” Damon said.

“No more than once a week then,” Liz agreed. It would be nice to have one day a week of sleeping in. “Besides, she’s not long from starting potty training anyway.”

“That’s a good thing,” Damon said with a relieved chuckle.

“Have you ever compelled her?” Liz asked, trying to figure out if it would be a cheat to compel potty training or if it would hurt her at all if he did.

“No, compulsion is notoriously unreliable in children pre-puberty and all but impossible in children under three. Their minds just aren’t developed enough for it to take. And there’s no guarantee that it wouldn’t hurt them to try. That’s not the kind of thing that anyone wants to experiment with. Not that I’ve heard anyway. And if I did hear of a vampire doing those kind of experiments, I’d be more interested in ripping his head off than getting the results.”

“No yeah, I get that completely,” Liz agreed with a shudder. Definitely not worth the risk even if it would work. And really it would probably be best for her to figure it out on her own without the cheat anyway. She may lose valuable lessons that way. It had just been a tempting thought for a moment.

“When she’s old enough not to try and eat it, I’ll get her a necklace charm with vervain to protect her from anyone that might try,” Damon promised.

“That’s possible? Could I get one too? I have a few necklaces and we can see if any of them will work,” she asked. Anything to keep her from having to drink the stuff.

“No, love. I’m getting you a new one,” Damon grinned and tilted her head up for a kiss. “When’s your birthday by the way?”

“October sixteenth seventy-two,” she told him. “You?”

“June nineteenth eighteen thirty-nine,” he chuckled.

“Cradle robber,” she teased.

“Sorry. Couldn’t find any hundred- and fifty-year-old women that could keep up with me,” Damon laughed.

“Oh god…the mental image,” Liz laughed with him. “But seriously though…not that I’m complaining at all because I’m not, but…you don’t date other vampires?”

“Vampires don’t really socialize much with each other. We tend to be a solitary and territorial species. Usually what happens is a vampire falls in love with a human and then turns them so they can be together forever,” he explained.

“I guess that makes sense,” Liz nodded. “Will you be wanting to turn me?”

“Eventually, if you don’t get sick of me in the next few years, I’ll bring that subject up. But I’ll never do it without your permission unless it’s life or death,” Damon said. “And if that does happen, you’ll still have an option since once you wake up in transition, you can choose whether to complete the change or die as a human and that way you’ll at least have time to say your goodbyes.”

“Yeah, okay. We can talk about it in a few years. And either way, I won’t turn down the chance to say goodbye,” she agreed. She knew a little bit about the turning process from his journal and put the pieced together from his written rant about his brother.

“And you know, I am pretty young for a vampire too,” he pointed out.

“Really?” she asked curiously. “Yeah, I guess if vampires are immortal a hundred and fifty would be pretty young. It’s just hard to comprehend from a human perspective.”

“That’s one of the hardest things to adjust to about immortality. Seeing the bigger picture and shedding that human perspective.”

“How old was your ex? The one that turned you?”

“She’s around five hundred or so. Don’t know exactly. Don’t care anymore,” he shrugged.

“Okay yeah, see to me being that old is incomprehensible right now,” she chuckled. “I mean the things she must have seen…the things /you/ must have seen. Like…you were around for the civil war…”

“Fought in it actually,” Damon told her.

“Really?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Yep. I was field lieutenant in the confederate army when my world got turned upside down by vampires. Never agreed with what we were fighting for, but I didn’t exactly get a choice in the matter.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. It’s still amazing to me though,” Liz said.

“I’m amazing in very many ways,” Damon smirked and kissed her deeply and no more words were said for quite a while and sleep followed quickly after that.

The next morning, Damon held her for a while, reveling in the fact that this was his now. He was moving in with her. He was going to help her raise her daughter. He could have a real family, not just pretend like he had been for the last week and change. She loved him. She wanted to share her life with him. He felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. When the voice came over the baby monitor calling for “Mama!” he let Liz get up with her this time. He didn’t want to completely take over so they could take turns. Even though he was naturally awake this early.

Liz smiled happily and snuggled a little deeper in Damon’s arms before leaning up for a soft kiss. “I like waking up in your arms.”

Yet another reason to take turns. “Me too,” Damon grinned at her, giving her one more kiss before she got up. He watched with a grin as she got dressed and waited until she left the room before he got up and jumped in the shower. Caroline and Liz were just finishing breakfast when he got downstairs and he got the normal happy cry of “Dama!” as he came in. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head and gave Liz a kiss too. “Dama pay!”

“Not this morning, Care Bear. Got a few things to do,” he told her with a tweak to her nose before telling Liz, “I figure I can go pack up the everyday essentials from the boarding house and get them moved in…as long as you haven’t changed your mind?”

“Nope. No mind changing here,” she said happily.

“Good. As long as it’s a trial basis, I’ll just bring the basics for now. And then maybe I can take you beautiful ladies out to lunch?” he suggested.

“I think we’d love that. Wouldn’t we Caroline?”

“Ya!” Caroline didn’t really understand most of what was happening, but she liked the word lunch.

Chapter Text

Damon headed back to the boarding house and started zooming around the room, packing up all his clothes and essentials. He would talk to the family and let them know after breakfast was over which wouldn’t be too much longer. He wasn’t counting on being caught by his brother who had just finished cooking. “What are you doing?” Stefan asked with a hint of worry at seeing the packed bags.

“Moving in with Liz,” Damon grinned.

“Oh wow. Already?” Stefan asked. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks. And you know you’re welcome to visit anytime,” Damon told him.

“You can count on it,” Stefan chuckled. “And we’ll still be taking our normal feeding trips right?”

“You bet,” Damon agreed. “I’ll make sure you get our phone number. And I’ll still be in and out of here all the time too.”

“Do Zach and Gail know yet?” Stefan asked, hoping he wasn’t the last to know.

“Nope. Was gonna talk to them after they’re done with breakfast.”

“Pretty sure they’re done now. They were just finishing up when I left,” Stefan said.

“No time like the present then,” Damon finished the bag he was working on and left it on his bed, leading the way downstairs.

The conversation with Zach and Gail went well. Like Stefan they were surprised at how soon it was but happy that he was happy. Damon made it clear that he still intended to be around and help out. He was still a Salvatore after all. They told him he was welcome as much or as little as he wanted, and his room would always be his anytime he wanted or needed it. He was kinda glad. He did love that room. Just like Stefan was ridiculously attached to his room. And he did still have some stuff there since he was only taking the basics to Liz’s. He’d managed to accumulate quite a bit in the four months he’d been there, but then he usually did when he settled somewhere for more than a few weeks at a time. And then left most of it behind and got new when he moved again.

He loaded his stuff in his car and headed to his new home around midmorning and got it all unloaded and put away in less than an hour. And it only took that long for checking with Liz on the organization. Needless to say, he was completely ready to go by lunchtime only to find Liz with a case of the nerves. “I don’t know if this is the best idea.”

“Remember what I said before? Best to get all the gossip out of the way. The sooner they start talking the sooner they’ll forget about it and move on. And it’s not going to take long for word to get out that I’m staying here, so we might as well face it head on.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Liz agreed with a heavy breath as they got ready to go. She just hated being the center of the gossip.

When they got to the grill, it was painfully obvious that this time, they /were/ on a date. Starting with how Damon kept his arm wrapped around her and sat on the same side of the booth. There were quite a few stolen kisses and Damon was attentive enough to keep her mind off everyone else but him and Caroline. After lunch they went to the park and Liz grinned at the fact that this time she didn’t need to be ashamed of taking pictures of Damon and Caroline. Damon got just as many of Liz and Caroline and they even got one of the other parents there to take some pictures of the three of them and a couple of just him and Liz. They ended up using the entire roll of film in one trip, but it was their first official outing as a family, so it was warranted.

A few mornings later, Caroline seemed to have gotten used to Damon being around all the time, and instead of calling for ‘Mama’ when she woke up, she called for ‘Dama’. Damon beamed brightly and even though it was Liz’s turn to get her, Damon did it anyway. That was nothing compared to the way he felt when two weeks later ‘Dama’ turned into ‘Dada’, and when Liz didn’t seem to mind, he felt free to revel in it and even encourage it.

Liz had decided from the start to let Damon and Caroline figure out their own relationship without input from her. She wasn’t going to push them closer or try to keep them apart. While part of her still kept up the mantra of ‘it’s too soon’ especially when she started calling Damon ‘dada’, most of her was just loving every second of it. Having someone who loved her and paid attention to her. Someone who loved her daughter and wanted to be a real part of her life. She recognized the fact that Damon had spent so long believing he would never be a dad and was clinging to everything he could get now that he had the opportunity. She worried, deep down, that he would regret jumping too fast and pull away at some point, but she just reminded herself of what he’d said about vampire emotions. How strong and absolute they were. No, if anyone was screwing this up it would be her. And she had no intention of doing that. This was the life she always dreamed of. Almost.

That almost was what had her bringing up a subject about two months after he’d moved in. “Did you mean what you said when you said you’d support a mother working?”

“Of course,” Damon said. “Do you want to start working?”

“I have for a long time. I mean, it’s not that I don’t love my daughter. I really do. And I love spending time with her. I just…want more to my life, you know?” she said.

“I completely understand that,” Damon said. “And I’m happy to stay with her while you work. I know I generally put in a few hours at the boarding house here and there, but there’s no reason she can’t come with me. Sarah’s there all the time anyway. Or I can work around your work schedule, whatever. We can figure it out. There’s no reason that you shouldn’t have everything you want out of life.”

“I kinda…always wanted to be a cop…and the new class at the police academy is registering now…”

“Will you do me a favor then?” Damon asked.

“What’s that?”

“Carry a vial of my blood on you while you’re working. If you’re in a life-threatening situation, drink it. Then at least we can have time to say goodbye even if you don’t want to turn,” Damon said. And he could have time to talk her into completing the transition of course.

“I can do that,” she easily agreed, glad that he’d taken the idea so well and it prompted her to suggest, “And maybe…we could make this trial basis more permanent?”

“I’d love that,” Damon grinned. The next day, Liz put her application in to the police academy and Damon started on getting the rest of his stuff from the boarding house and told Zach and Gail they could start renting out that room again. Someday he might take it back, but it would hopefully not be for a very long time and no need for them to lose out on the revenue in the meantime. Damon and Liz discussed the third bedroom in the house and whether it would be a spare room or a library and eventually decided on a library. A small one naturally, but a library just the same. Caroline’s room was plenty big enough to be both her bedroom and her playroom and the office/study downstairs wasn’t really big enough for anything but what it was designed for.

There were a few other changes here and there to the house with Damon moving in, but for the most part it all stayed the same. The checks from Bill came every month, but other than that there was no contact from him, which was a good thing because Damon was still tempted to kill him for hitting Liz. And for cheating on her. Even if it did get him what he wanted there were better ways. He should have just left her rather than cheating. Caroline was much happier with her new daddy who played with her all the time and spent time with her and would soon forget that she ever had another dad, if she hadn’t already.