Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gerard wasn’t very popular at school. Generally, if he was ever noticed, it was because he was the butt of the joke.
He was always too girly, or too weak, or didn’t have any friends. But, most people just ignored him, and he almost liked it better that way.
He was pretty introverted in part because he had had a tough go of things when he was younger. His life was fine, up until he came out to his parents. He liked guys and girls, but didn’t really want to label it.
His coming out brought his parents to a new level of disappointment with him.
His father criticized everything that he had tolerated beforehand, and his mother just seemed to wish he was ‘normal’.
Eventually, Gerard picked up some unhealthy habits.
He started smoking and drinking when he was 15, to help him deal with the stress.
It worked for a little while too, but Mikey hated it. He knew that his brother was making a dangerous decision, and wanted it to stop.
He started by keeping it quiet, and trying to get Gerard to quit by talking to him. But Gerard didn’t want to stop.
After knowing, and trying to convince Gerard for a few months with no luck, Mikey told his parents.

Gerard was walking home from school, after having taken a short break to have some straight vodka.
He smoked walking his whole way home, only stopping a few houses to put out his cigarette so his parents wouldn’t know.
Once he walked in the door, and hoped to sneak up the stairs so he wouldn’t be verbally assaulted by his parents for anything.
“Gerard Arthur Way, don’t try to sneak up to your room,” His father Donald called.
“I’ve got homework dad,” Gerard sighed, hoping he would let him go.
“Don’t take that tone with me young man,” Donald said condescendingly.
Gerard shut his mouth and went to where his father was calling him from.
He felt a sinking feeling when he walked into the room and saw his mom Donna, dad, and brother all sitting in there, his parents looking disappointed, and Mikey looking guilty.
Gerard looked at Mikey, wondering what he had done, when Mikey looked away under his gaze.
“Your brother tells us that you have been drinking and smoking,” Donna asked.
“Damnit Mikey, you can’t keep a fucking secret, can you?” Gerard shouted at Mikey, who remained silent.
“Gerard! Do not swear at your brother!” his mom scolded him.
“Why son, have you been drinking and smoking?” Donald asked.
“Because you and mom make my life a living hell! It's the only thing I can do to make me feel better and forget about everything for even one goddamn minute!”
Donna gasped.
“Do not use the Lord's name in vain!” She seemed appalled.
“It’s a free country, I can do whatever I want,” Gerard said harshly.
“Not under my roof!” Donna told him.
“Then I'll leave!” Gerard shouted, before running out of the house, ignoring the shouting coming from behind him.
Once he was out of the door, he ran around to the side of the house, before sitting down and lighting a cigarette.
Occasionally tapping the burning end on his knee through a rip in his pants, he focused on the different sensations he could get from the small roll of tobacco.
After a few minutes of peace and quiet, he heard a window open a little way above him.
He looked up, and saw Mikey sticking his head out the window.
“I’m so sorry,” Mikey apologized, clearly crying. “I thought they would try to help you, not get in a fight with you…. All I wanted was to help you get better,”
“I appreciate it, but I don’t need your help,” Gerard told him. “Anyways, I think I have an idea.”
“Look out, I think mom and dad are coming. You’re in a lot of trouble,” Mikey warned him, before pulling his head in the window, and closing it.
Gerard nodded to himself, before taking a drag from his cigarette.
He heard his parent’s coming, so he stood up, still leaning against the wall, ready to run.
“Gerard, you really are a disappointment,” His dad said, rounding the corner of the house.
“Maybe I am,” Gerard agreed with him, pushing the burning end against his knee, making his mom gasp.
“Honey, what are you doing?” She asked, shocked that he was burning himself.
“Oh, my knees are covered in scars from it. It doesn’t hurt that bad though,” Gerard told her. “You can't really tell unless you can see where the scars end.” He added, unnecessarily.
Gerard took another drag of his cigarette, knowing that it would irritate his parents.
“You can't continue doing that if you’re going to stay living in this house.” Donald told him.
“What?” Gerard asked sassily.
“Drinking, smoking, burning yourself, pretending that you’re special, or that you're depressed,” Donald counted on his fingers.
“Don’t worry, I think I'm going toleave.” Gerard told him.
“You don’t mean that,” Donna said, half believing that he meant it.
“Oh, I mean it. I can go pack my things now if you’d prefer,” Gerard flicked his cigarette, and took another deep breath from it.
“Pack your things now?” Donald asked. “That would be great.”
“Donald!” Donna shouted.
“No, it’s ok mom, I'll go put this out, then pack and go,” Gerard said, before walking away to the front.
He put out his cigarette, before running up the stairs and to his room.
Swiftly, he packed as many essentials as he could, along with things he thought he could sell.
Mikey came into his room, having heard him come back inside.
“What are you doing?” Mikey asked, confused.
“I’m packing my things,” Gerard told him with a nod and a small smile. “This has to suck for you,” He said as he continued. “I know how sad it makes you that I don't get along with mom and dad. But I've gotta move out.”
“Are they kicking you out?” Mikey asked.
“No, I'm trying to stay alive. If I live here another day, I might just jump off a bridge.” Gerard told him.
Mikey looked startled at that statement.
“They don’t love me like they love you, Mike, I wish they did.” Gerard said, zipping up a duffle.
He slung a backpack over his shoulders, and put his school bag over that one. Then he lifted his duffle, and put it on his shoulder, before walking up to Mikey.
“I love you,” Gerard said, hugging Mikey.
“You’re actually doing this?” Mikey asked, confused.
Gerard nodded.
“See you at school on Monday,” Gerard said, before quickly going down the stairs, past his parents, and out the front door.
He got in his car, throwing his things in the back, before driving away, unsure of where he would go.

Gerard always knew that he made the right choice leaving, even if he was only 16.
It was hard on him, but it was worth it, because it had kept him alive for a few more years.

Frank loved playing music all the time. Everyone knew that he was always either partying, playing music, or doing both at once.
At school, everyone knew his name, or at least they knew his face.
He was popular. He had lots of people to hang out with, and did lots of gigs with tons of bands. He went to parties and got wasted or stoned. Sometimes he even showed up to class. Teachers didn't mind when he skipped though, because he always kept up good grades, and never missed tests.
Most people would say that he seemed a little intimidating because of his charismatic way of being.
But his friends, and anyone he had ever talked to would say that he was funny, friendly, and caring.
He was a nice drunk, and he loved dogs. He got along with kids, and could make anyone feel better when they need it.
Overall, Frank agreed. But he knew something about himself that most people didn't, and that's why he couldn't completely agree.
He had been really anxious all his life. His ‘lows’ were definitely worse than many others have experienced. The lowest he could remember was waking up in a hospital after an intentional overdose.

He had actually gone to school that day and not skipped any classes. He participated a little and got some homework.
He had been feeling low for weeks, wondering if life was even worth it, and he had finally made his decision. He could hardly ever focus. He had lost all his passion for music. No. it was not worth it. He wanted to die more than he ever had before.
He drove to a convenience store close to his house, and picked out a bottle of the strongest alcohol he knew he could bear. He tried to go as quickly as he could, but the person behind the counter seemed worried about him.
“Hey, are you okay? You look a little off,” the cashier asked, tucking his black hair behind his ear, not bothering to look at Frank's ID.
“I'm fine, thanks,” Frank brushed him off, shrugging.
Frank payed, thankful for the lack of IDing. Normally he was able to get away with alcohol by also getting groceries, and people not caring, but today he didn’t want groceries.
“Your change is four dollars and thirty cents,”
“Keep the change” Frank replied quickly, before grabbing the bottle and rushing out of the store. He just wanted to get it over with.
He drove home to his apartment, barely obeying the laws.
The minute he had closed the door, he immediately opened the bottle and drank straight from it. It tasted disgusting. He knew that he would need more than just alcohol to successfully overdose though. He went and grabbed his newly refilled bottle of ativan. He popped the lid off with shaky hands, and started to take them two at a time, washing them down with his drink.
He didn't stop until he thought he was going to throw up from all the liquid, and both the pill bottle, and the drink bottle were mostly empty.
Without a shred of regret, he soon felt himself growing tired quickly, and found himself grateful for the end.
He grew cold as he made his way to the couch, to curl up and die comfortably.
His vision began to turn black as he stumbled towards his couch in the middle of the room, and made it less than half way before doubling over in a coughing fit.
The last thing he felt was himself coughing up blood and some of the alcohol that he had just swallowed. The last thing he heard was ringing in his ears. The last thing he knew was that everything was done, and he was glad for it.

His eyes opened, and felt fear, swiftly followed by guilt and nerves, as he observed his surroundings.
He was in a hospital room. He knew this wasn't hell, and it definitely wasn't heaven. His stomach hurt, and his throat felt dry. He felt exhausted and sickly. He was still alive.
He carefully sat himself up, and looked around the room. Nobody else was in the room, so it was relatively quiet. He could hear the different medical devices doing their jobs, but besides that nothing was happening.
He yanked out the iv’s in his arms, and pulled off all the medical devices attached to him, praying that that might help him die, before losing consciousness again as people rushed into the room.
The next time he woke up, he was restrained, which filled him with immediate panic.
He began aggressively tugging at the restraints, as the people in the room tried to get him to stop.
Frank quickly broke out of the strap type restraints, before he started fighting the people who were trying to hold him down.
Fueled with the energy that came from wanting to die as badly as he did, he managed to take down two guard type people, before smashing open a window, with the intent of climbing out and jumping.
He was startled as someone came up behind him, and injected something in the base of his neck, holding him tightly from behind.
He swiftly elbowed that person, and threw them into the wall, before feeling himself going numb, and losing his vision.
He felt terrified, stumbling backwards, losing all awareness of his surroundings as he himself slammed back into a corner, slowly sinking down to the ground, covering himself with his arms, as he passed out from the sedative that was injected in him.
When he next awoke he didn’t dare to open his eyes. He knew he was ready to die. He felt trapped in a hellish cycle, where he woke up, scared, and hoping that he had died. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t recognize anyone around him. He was restrained, and surrounded by people who were watching him.
Eyes still closed, he heard people around him talking. He thought he recognized a voice, and felt relieved.
He opened his eyes just a crack, and saw Max, which was a relief.
He began to cry, feeling just a bit safer than he had in days, seeing a familiar face.
“Max,” He said quietly.
“Frank,” Max said with a sad smile, moving up to where Frank was laying.
The guards moved to keep Max away, and Max shot them a death glare.
“I’m so glad you're ok,” Max said, putting his hand on Frank’s.
“I’m so scared, where am I?” Frank asked, taking his hand gratefully.
“You're in the hospital, you have been for a few days,” Max said. “I found you unconscious, so I got you here as quick as I could, but you were knocked out for like a whole day, and then both times you woke up, you ended up sleeping for a whole day after you were back asleep. I spent as much time here as I could, but they didn’t want me around,”
“Why?” Frank asked.
“Cause they’re worried about you trying to hurt me,”
“I wouldn’t- not on purpose,” Frank said, before remembering all the people he had fought. The color drained from his expression. “Are the people I fought- are they ok? I was scared, and I- I just really want to die,” Frank explained. “I tried to not really really hurt people, I just- I,” He stumbled.
“It’s ok,” Max said. “I think everyone’s ok, you’re a lot smaller than you think,” He joked, making Frank glare at him. “Are you ok?”
“I’m so much better now that you’re here,” Frank told him. “I’m just- I feel so scared still, I don’t- I don’t, uh,” He started to panic, suddenly over conscious of the restraints that were holding his wrists and ankles still. “I- I don’t like this, I don’t- I don’t,” He got stuck on his words as he gently pulled at the wrist restraint, putting the guards on high alert.
“You don’t like these?” Max asked calmly, putting his hand on the cuff, holding Frank down.
Frank nodded, and bit his lip, looking at Max with a scared expression.
“I’m- I feel- I’m scared, i’m really-” He pulled at the cuff again, helplessly. “I’m scared,”
“Why are you scared?” Max asked him.
“I don’t-” He cut himself off, making a pained expression, like someone had struck him across the face.
“Frank, are you ok?” Max asked, sitting up, which made Frank flinch away from him.
“Please don’t hurt me,” Frank whispered, as he pulled away from Max as far as he could.
“Let’s give him another sedative,” one of the doctors said, before another one put something in Frank’s iv.
“Please don’t hurt me,” Frank said, as he felt the same tingly, numbing feeling return. “I’m so scared- I'm so…” He trailed off, before the sedative had knocked him out again.

Frank never really regretted his decision, but he was always glad that he had failed. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to move on and get better. He had friends now, and more reasons to be alive than ever before.
Sometimes he still had dark days, but he was always able to get back up on his feet.

Chapter Text

“Ok you guys, that's the end of the lecture for today” the teacher dismissed the class, and people started to chatter. “If you have any questions, email me, or come to me during lunch on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Have a good day!”
Gerard walked out of the classroom, carrying his heavy bag of homework and books. He was ready to go home. He cheered internally, remembering that he didn't have to work a shift today.
As he walked out of the lecture hall, he was stopped by one of his classmates.
“Hey!” one guy said in a friendly tone
“Oh uh, hey… Derrick,” Gerard replied with a nod “whats up?”
“I was told to spread the word about this to as many cool people as I could, and I think you're a cool guy, so um, yeah. Frank’s having a party tonight. There’ll be drinks and lots of people. It's gonna be fun.” he smiled down at Gerard who was shorter than him. Gerard blushed at Derrick calling him cool.
“Oh, uh, I dunno about that. Partying isn't really my thing…” Gerard told him with a shy smile.
“Really, you should come!”
“I guess I'll give it a shot,” Gerard hesitantly agreed.
“I’ll message you the address. It starts at eight, don't be late.” Derrick nodded sharply with a warm smile.
“Ok, I guess I’ll see you then,” Gerard grinned awkwardly, before walking away.

When he got to his beat up car, he got a text from Derrick with an address.
“Alright” He said to himself, trying to reassure himself that it would be okay. He was going to a party at the intimidating, well known, cute guy’s house.
He spent the few hours between school and the party, mostly doing nothing. He stayed in his house, and wondered if he would have anyone to hang out with at the party. Would he even have fun?
Worst case scenario he’d have to get a little drunk to help smooth the edges. He shrugged to himself as he sat on his doorstep and lit a cigarette.
The sun was going down, and it was about time for him to head out, but he decided that he had just enough time to smoke a little before he needed to get there.
He poked the cinged end against his knee through the rips in his black jeans, between every few tokes.
It was a habit he had built up. Whenever he was stressed, he would just remind himself that it probably didn't matter, by hurting himself a little. It didn't hurt too bad, it was just a little burn. He never even did it hard enough to scar. Atleast, not very often.

Eventually, he crushed his cigarette on the sidewalk beneath the toe of his shoe.
He started walking to the apartment complex in his text. He knew where it was. It was walking distance from his ‘house’, which he thought was neat. He hadn't known that Frank lived so close.
As he walked, he held his lighter in his hand, flicking it on and off, watching the flames, and toying with them after wetting his fingers. He pocketed his lighter, and then looked up at the apartment building a little less than a block away.
As he kept walking towards it, he thought of his few encounters with Frank. He hadn't ever been to one of Frank's parties, but he had attended a few that Frank had also been at.
Once he saw one of Frank’s bands perform at a fundraising event. It was for a local animal shelter.
Gerard felt like he had seen Frank at his work before, but he knew he would remember if they worked together, so he assumed that he was misremembering.
Eventually he got to the complex, and hiked up the stairs. Once he was on the right floor, it was easy to find the right apartment, due to the noise.
Gerard stood in the dark, cold for a moment, before knocking on the door, unsure of if he should just let himself in or not.
Quickly the door swung open, and Frank popped his head out.
“Hey!” he said with an excited smile. “I'm so happy to see you! It's real nice to finally see your face in one of these! C’mon in!”
“Oh, ok,” Gerard smiled and nodded shyly, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He walked into the large apartment, and was suddenly immersed in the sound, smell, and look of a party. It had been a long time since he had been to one, and he had forgotten how hectic they were.
“You get used to it,” Frank spoke loudly, from behind Gerards left ear, startling him. He hadn't expected Frank to stick with him as he headed into the middle of the party.
“I don't know that I ever will,” Gerard loudly replied, as he attempted to avoid bumping into other partygoers.
“Maybe a drink will make that easier for you?” Frank asked Gerard, grabbing his wrist “Sorry, I just don't want to lose you. Like in the crowd,” he explained awkwardly, as Gerard gave him a questioning look, surprised by Frank’s handsy manner. “So did you want a drink?”
“Sure,” Gerard agreed quickly. “I hope you’ve got something strong,” he continued, looking a little put off by all the partying around him.
Frank laughed.
“I got you covered, don't worry. Follow me,” He moved his hand from Gerards wrist to his hand, and led him to the drinks. “Your name is Gerard, right?”
Gerard nodded, a little in shock by Frank's friendliness towards him, and all the sudden physical contact. He assumed that Frank must just be a kinda physical guy, or that maybe he was just drunk. He seemed like a friendly drunk.
They snaked around the room, until they ended up at a table stocked with glass bottles and cans of assorted sizes, and tons of solo cups.
“What's the strongest you’ve got?” Gerard asked Frank, who was next to him, still holding his hand.
“Ugh, it's absolutely disgusting, it's this one,” Frank said, letting go of Gerard, to pick up a big black bottle with both his hands.
“Man, this seems a little strong for most people. Is it yours?” Gerard made small talk as he took the bottle from Frank and poured himself a cup.
“Yuck, do you like that stuff?” Frank laughed.
Gerard nodded.
“You've got guts man,” Frank said with a commending nod. “But yeah, a friend of a friend got it for me to try, and I wasnt a fan. Too strong.” he shook his head distastefully.
“That's what I like about it,” Gerard said with a nod, taking a sip, reminding himself of why alcohol was so amazing. He immediately felt a tingle, the alcohol sending light intoxication straight to his head.
He shook his head and smiled at a slightly baffled looking Frank.
“What?” he asked “What's that face for?”
“You don’t really seem like a drinker, and especially not such a… bold one,” Frank laughed. “It's just so gross!”
“It is what it is,” Gerard shrugged shyly.
“So, d’you mind If I hang out with you?” Frank asked
“No! Not at all! I honestly was a little nervous that I would have no one to be with.” Gerard nodded awkwardly.
“Rad! Who recruited you? I need to thank them. I said cool people, and they delivered cool people.”
Gerard chuckled.
“I dunno about ‘cool’ but I guess I'm ok. But it was Derrick. He asked me today right after class.”
“Noted,” Frank said with a nod. “So… tell me about yourself,” He questioned as they started to float around the room aimlessly
“Like what?” Gerard asked, glancing over for a moment and catching Frank’s genuinely interested expression. He felt a little rush of excitement, before toning himself down again, reminding himself that Frank and him were simply meeting.
“Well, to start, how come you never come out to parties? I’ve never seen you anywhere! I only know of you because I've seen you at school. You stand out at school.”
“I guess I'm not really a partier…” Gerard told him, surprised that Frank felt he stood out, when most people disagreed completely. “I'm um… a little more of a loner. I guess.”
“Well, that's no fun, is it?” Frank asked
“Um… It can be. The best part is, I know I get along with myself,” Gerard admitted softly.
Frank laughed a little, but he felt a little nervous that Gerard was implying that he didn't get along with him. He decided to move on and remember that.
“So what do you do then? Like, I don't understand what you would do.”
“What, are you never doing anything besides school, partys, and sleeping?”
“Pretty much,” Frank laughed a little at how accurate that statement was.
“Gimme a second-” Gerard said, before knocking back the rest of his drink. Frank was impressed at his speed. “Ok, tell me, how does a typical week go? Or like a few days, y’know?”
“I get you,” Frank nodded “I guess I normally get up, and then I either go to school, or I go to band practice, depending on when I wake up, and If I have a test.”
“Is that how you decide whether or not you’re gonna go to school?” Gerard chuckled “I always wondered,”
“Yeah,” Frank laughed. “As long as I don't have a test, I just don't set my alarm. I understand the stuff well enough, y’know? And I'm such a charmer, that since my grades are good most’a the teachers don't mind,” he smiled humbly.
“Okay then,” Gerard chuckled to himself with a nod. “So more about your normal day.”
“Yeah,” Frank started “So after tests, band practice takes number two. Like I'd skip school to go practice with one of my bands, but I wouldn't skip a test for a band, cause I understand tests are kinda important. And then I love parties- I'm a social butterfly. In my freetime after that I'm always either practising guitar, writing music, or at a party or gig. That's kinda just my life.”
“Wow.” Gerard said, raising his eyebrows “do you ever catch a break?”
“I don't need one. I’d never get sick of doing what I do.” Frank said with a smile. He noticed that they had become stagnant in a corner of the room, and Gerards drink was still empty.
“You want me to go refill your drink?” Frank offered
“Oh uh, no thanks, I can get it myself. Thank you though.” Gerard said before walking off.
Frank nodded even though he knew Gerard couldn't see him. He leaned against the wall and checked his watch in an idle motion, thinking about his and Gerards interactions so far.
Gerard had only been there for about fifteen minutes, and he had already finished a full solo cup of that strong stuff. He didn't seem the least bit intoxicated, which impressed Frank.
Frank wondered what it meant. Was Gerard a heavy drinker? Had it not reached his system yet? Was he just a subtle drunk?
The first idea did not match Frank's idea of what Gerard was like, but it was clear that neither of them had hung out together much, if at all. They were almost polar opposites. Frank was very social and outgoing, while Gerard was shy and a little closed, but still friendly. It was cute.
“Hey Frank,” two girls came up to him, making him look up, a little startled. “Who’s that cutie?” one of them asked.
“Oh, that's Gerard.”
“He was pretty good looking,” the other girl commented
“Wait, does he… um… does he swing the other way?” the first girl asked
“he totally looks gay.” the second one added
“I, uh… I don't actually know,” Frank said honestly. “It's always a possibility, but I wouldn't make any assumptions. One of you two could ask for his number if you wanted,” Frank said with a smile.
“Ohh good idea. Let's go.” one of them said, before marching off together.

Frank did not appreciate the tone the second girl had used when saying he ‘looked’ gay. The fact that he had longish hair and wore skinny jeans, did not make him gay.
If he was, the two things were most likely unrelated.
Frank stayed in the corner with the assumption that Gerard would return soon, and wondered whether or not Gerard was gay. There was a possibility that he was actually out and Frank just didn't know of it, or that he was closeted. Even though New Jersey was relatively open in terms of politics, sometimes the people were a little less forgiving.
Frank understood that. Before he had realised it, Frank had been beaten up and called gay, and people had used slurs on him.
It was part of the reason he was still in the closet. He passed just fine as a straight guy, until he was asked why he didn't have a girlfriend. It didn't help that there were plenty of girls who would date him. He normally just said he was waiting until he was done with school.
Snapping back out of his thoughts, Frank stopped fiddling with his watch, and actually checked the time on it. It had been almost twenty minutes since Gerard had left to get a drink. Maybe he had left the party completely? Maybe he had just found someone new to hang out with? Maybe he was with those girls?
Frank stepped away from the wall, and started towards the drink table, looking for Gerard.
When he saw Gerard, he immediately panicked. He was cornered by the two girls, and he looked uncomfortable.
“What's going on here? Are they bothering you?” Frank asked Gerard, seeing that he looked uncomfortable. Gerards eyes immediately snapped up to Frank, looking a little nervous. He didn't respond though.
“We were just talking to him,” one girl said flashing a suspicious smile
“He doesn't look like he’s enjoying it,” Frank said. “Why are you cornering him like that?” he raised his tone a little, making people around them look over.
When he was met with no response from the two girls, he continued speaking.
“Leave him alone. He is clearly uncomfortable. Whatever made you think that that was an okay thing to do, you were wrong. I don't want you in my house, I wont tolerate this kind of thing, ok? Now go. Don't come back.”
One of the girls scoffed, before they both turned and left.
He watched to make sure they had gone, before turning back to Gerard.
“I hope I wasn't out of place in dismissing them, but this was just the last straw, earlier they were being kinda homophobic.” Frank said honestly and nonchalantly
“No you’re good. They were making me uncomfortable. Thanks.” he said with a lopsided smile and a nod.
“Good. Did you end up getting your drink?” Frank asked
“Yeah, thanks. Hanging out has been fun, but uh… I think I’m all partied out.” Gerard said, sounding tired.
Frank tried to hide his disappointment, hearing that statement.
“That's fair. After all, you don't do this much,” Frank nodded. “Do you need me to call you a cab? You can crash here too if you need, though it probably won't be quiet for hours.”
“That's a very kind offer, to let me stay, but I'm ok. I'm close enough to walk, so I’ll pass on the cab, but thanks.”
“Ok. Hey, uh, before you go, where can I reach you? You seem like someone I'll want to be inviting to one of these again.” Frank said, brushing his hair out of his face, feeling slightly shy. It had been years since he had asked for anyone’s number.
“Wow, um, I’m honored.” Gerard said, smiling shyly. “I’ll put my number in your phone.”
Gerard put his number in Frank's phone, who then quickly messaged him so that they could both have each other in their own contact lists.
Then, Gerard quietly left the party and headed home.

Chapter Text

Gerard always hated work, but he knew he needed to go. It always went so slow, and felt so repetitive. It was mind numbing. He would wait for a customer, beep their items, wish them a nice day, and then wait for the next customer.
Sometimes it made him feel sick at the lack of purpose there was to his job. He wasn't making a difference. Anyone could be a cashier just as well as he could. Maybe even better.
Today felt just as boring as most days, as he beeped item after item.
But his mind was distracted, thinking about the party he had attended a few days prior. He wondered if Frank had meant it, when he said he thought Gerard was cool. He hadn't gotten any texts from Frank, but he hadn't gotten his hopes up, so he wasn't disappointed. Frank seemed like a busy, but kind guy.
Gerard assumed that Frank had just gotten his number as a courtesy.
He did have a good time at the party, although it had a distressing end. The girls who had approached him were trying to convince him to go home with them. They both seemed a little too drunk for their own good, as one girl was practically forcing herself on him.
He had tried to tell her to stop, but that clearly wouldn't convince her. In the end, he just shrugged it off, and had a bit more to drink when he got home.

Gerard snapped out of his focus on scanning an old woman's groceries, when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.
He finished beeping and bagging all the copious amounts of candy she had picked ‘for her grandchildren,’ and then checked his phone.
There was a text from Frank.

Frank ~ hey man what are you up to
Gerard ~ I’m at work, why?
Frank ~ party
Frank ~ when do you get off and where should I pick you up from
Gerard ~ 9:30, Supermarket on 12th and Germain
Frank ~ see you at 9:25

Gerard glanced at the clock in the corner of his phone. 8:43. He turned his phone off and pocketed it. 37 minutes.
He yawned and looked around. On shifts like this, he had to help close up the store. Normally he would start at nine or so, but he didn't see anybody, so he figured he could get a head start. It's not like his boss would mind anyways. She never really minded when things happened so long as they happened correctly, and he didn't deter customers.
He started pacing the aisles, looking for anything that was super out of place, or messes anywhere. He also listened for any shoppers or people coming through the doors. After he had looked throughout almost the whole store and fixed a few bags of chips, and rearranged a display, he heard a jingle from the door.
He jogged towards his station, starting his welcome spiel.
“Hey there, and welcome to-”
“Hey!”
Gerard stopped, hearing Franks voice
“Oh, hey!” He checked the time on his phone. 9:20. “You're five minutes early.” Gerard pointed out.
“Oh well. It was that, or sit in my car alone for five minutes to be on time.” Frank shrugged, as Gerard emerged from one of the aisles.
“That's fair,” Gerard chuckled, “i’m almost done, you can just hang out for a few minutes while I finish closing up?”
“Sounds good.” Frank replied casually, hopping up on a pile of road salt bags, and sitting cross legged.
Gerard grabbed a container of clorox wipes, and began to wipe down all the conveyor belts and workstations.
“So, where are we going?” Gerard asked, not looking up from what he was doing.
“We're going to a friend of a friend's house.” Frank said with a nod, putting down his phone, which he had been looking at.
“Have you met them before?”
“Nope.”
“How old are they?”
“Mid twenties.”
“I assume there'll be alcohol,”
“Of course” Frank said, although he was stating the obvious
“Good.” Gerard chuckled lightheartedly “that was the selling point for your party,” he said plainly, putting the wipes away. “Alright, you need anything before we go? It’ll be on me.” Gerard asked, taking off his apron and folding it up.
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.” Frank said with a nod and a smile.
“Alright, I'll be right back.”
“‘Kay”
Frank watched as Gerard walked over to the far counter which had an apron hanger in the back, along with cigarettes and other over the counter things.
He hung up his apron, and then dug around in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a bill, and shoving it in the cash register. He then grabbed a pack of Marlboros, and stuffed them in his pocket.
Frank raised his eyebrow at this but said nothing. He had quit smoking a few years before, but he still did it sometimes. Only ever recreationally though, if a friend offered it to him.
As Gerard walked back, he noticed the look on Frank's face.
“Don't worry, it's for when I'm at home. Unless you want one now,” Gerard offered “i’ve got a light,”
“Oh, uh, no thanks,” Frank gestured no with his hands, as he hopped off the salt pile.
“Don't smoke?” Gerard questioned casually as they started out of the supermarket together.
“I quit. I only do it sometimes now.” Frank nodded, “You can smoke though, I don't mind.”
“Thanks,” Gerard replied, before opening up the pack and lighting one.
They walked out to Frank’s car together, before hopping in.
Gerard immediately rolled down the window to keep the car from getting smokey and smelling bad.
“I assume you walked? This is pretty close to my place, and you walked home from there the other day.”
“Yeah.” Gerard nodded, flicking his cigarette out the window. It took a lot of effort for him to not habitually poke it against his knee. He tried to focus on Frank speaking to distract him.
“This is a pretty short drive, but it's kinda a long walk, so I just wanted to tell you, while we're there, I can drive you home anytime or call a cab or something, okay? Don't be afraid to tell me when you’re ready to go.” Frank said kindly, nodding, but keeping his eyes on the road.
“Thanks.” Gerard smiled a little at the kind offer.
“You seem quieter than the other day. Is something wrong, or were you just in a good mood then?” Frank pointed out, as he slowed down the car a little because of traffic. He looked over at Gerard who was looking out the open window.
“I’m okay. Thanks for asking though,” Gerard looked at Frank with a tired looking smile, and brushed his hair off of his face.
“You can talk to me if you ever need to, okay?” Frank told him, with a nod.
“Yeah,” Gerard looked down as he replied, and crossed his legs to cover the hole in his pant leg.
Frank glanced over, but decided that it wasn't his place to pry, as they had only been talking to each other for a non consecutive hour at most.

When Frank pulled onto the street with the fraternity house, there were people everywhere, and lots of cars.
He parked at the first open spot he could find, then he and Gerard got out of the car. Gerard quickly squished his cigarette butt underneath his toe, and then followed Frank towards the building.
“Shit, why is there a line? Maybe now is a good time to tell you, I've never been to a party like this before. Man it's so loud already,” Gerard told Frank anxiously.
“Dude, it’ll be fine,” Frank chuckled. “There's a line so that they can make sure that the people coming were all invited. Don't worry,” he started, seeing panic on Gerards face “I said I was bringing a cool friend.”
“Man,” Gerard said “no pressure I guess,”
They both laughed, and got in the line. Many people were carrying drinks or food, but some werent. Lots of them were already drinking, or already drunk.
It moved quickly, and soon they got to the door.
“Hey Frank!” the guy at the door exclaimed, before pulling Frank into a ‘bro hug’.
“Hey man! This is my friend Gerard,” Frank said, gesturing to Gerard
“Awesome! I’m Max, nice to meet you Gerard,” Max flashed a big smile, offering Gerard a handshake. Gerard smiled shyly, and accepted the handshake, before Max ushered them through the door.
After they walked through the door, they were immediately thrown into a writhing mass of bodies with varying levels of toplessness.
“How are you so far,” Frank shouted as Gerard latched onto his arm in an attempt to not get separated from him.
“Just a little scared. Why are there so many people? This has to be a fire hazard,” Gerard joked.
“Oh it definitely is. Wanna find some jungle juice? That stuff seems right up your alley,” Frank said, standing on his tiptoes so that he would be able to speak closer to Gerards ear.
“What's jungle juice?”
“You gotta try it since it's your first time coming, though I don't normally recommend you drink it. It's just a ton of different things mixed up. Like vodka, rum, fruit juice, stuff like that.” Frank told him, as he started guiding Gerard towards where he saw the bartender
“That sounds either awful or amazing.”
“You got the spirit!” Frank replied, making Gerard laugh
“Are you gonna have any?” Gerard asked seriously, “I just wanna make sure that one of us is clean enough to drive or at least call a cab.”
“You can have it, remember earlier how I said I could drive?”
“Thanks,” Gerard replied. “Just don't let me get too wasted, I hear I'm awful,” Gerard joked again.
“Alright, but from what I've seen, you can take alot,” Frank laughed, before suddenly realising what he had just said. “Shit, sorry, that was kinda rude,” He immediately apologized.
“No need to be sorry, you're not wrong,” Gerard chuckled, as they neared the bar.
“Okay, i'm just gonna tell you now, they like to serve the ladies first, so you’re gonna need to get the dudes attention.”
“I have to?” Gerard put emphasis on ‘I’.
“Yeah, you gotta get experience somehow,” Frank said, before gently pulling himself away from Gerard, then pushing him towards the bar.
“Oh no,” Gerard muttered to himself, before walking up. He quickly calculated the best way to get his attention, and made his decision quickly.
He put on the prettiest smile he had, and was thankful that he was wearing relatively androgenous clothing. He quickly ran his hand through his hair, pulling it forward to cover what little sideburn-age he had.
He walked up to the bar, and smiled at the man behind it, who, thankfully, was taller than him by quite a bit.
“Hey there pretty little lady, want somethin’ to drink?” The tall man asked
Gerard nodded, politely and tried his best to use ‘shy female’ mannerisms.
The man quickly poured some of the orangeish drink into a cup.
“Here babe,” the man said, handing him a drink. “Maybe when I'm done serving drinks, you and I can have a talk,” the man said with a wink.
Gerard smiled, showing his teeth a little, before walking away with his drink, and the pride of success.
When he got back to Frank, he pulled his hair back behind his ears, to put it how it had been before. He then quickly reset his posture, and then gave Frank a lopsided grin.
“That was quick,” Frank told him “how’d you do it?”
“I made him think I was a woman,” Gerard said casually, before taking a sip of the room temperature punch. He immediately made a face, showing that he was not a huge fan.
Frank laughed at the reaction.
“Is this what it always tastes like?” Gerard said, before taking another sip, and making the same distasteful face.
“I’m sure,” Frank laughed a little again.
“Want a sip? It's…” he paused, trying to make a face describing how ‘interesting’ it tasted.
“Sure, just a little,” Frank said, taking the cup from Gerard. He took a small sip, and scrunched up his face.
“Yup,” he said roughly “tastes right” he scrunched his nose and shook his head, handing the cup back to Gerard.
“Yikes,” Gerard replied, before having more of it. “What now then?” He asked Frank, wondering what else they might do.
“Talk to people or dance, or just go with the flow of the crowd,” Frank offered with a shrug.
“Sounds good to me, let's go meet some people.” Gerard said semi-confidently.

Frank led Gerard around to different rooms of the building, waving to lots of people, occasionally shouting “hey!” and high fiving or bro-hugging someone.
They stopped and talked to five or six upperclassmen, all of the interactions going similar to the one at the door.
At first, Gerard was able to remember who they were meeting, but after a little, his brain became fuzzy. He remembered meeting Garret who was on the football team, Juan who was one of Frank’s friends, Alex, the guy who made the drink, Zain who has a girlfriend, and Lucille, Zain’s girlfriend.
But after meeting those people, he remembered meeting people, but nothing about them. At one point, he knew that they were talking about him though and he talked about how he got his drink so easily.
“So, you're telling me you convinced the guy at the bar that you are a girl?” Frank asked
“Yeah, i'm a hot chick too,” Gerard replied smugly
“No way,” the other guy replied “show me,”
Gerard messed with his hair and softened his actions, then he made the ‘shy girl smiling’ expression and smiled a little.
“No way!” Frank and the other guy both said at the same time.
“I’d hit it,” the other guy said casually, making Gerard chuckle
Gerard fixed his posture, and removed his girly expression, before replying.
“I'm right here,” He said “why not?” That phrase caught Frank's attention. He was clearly not joking, even though the other guy took it as a joke, and they were all laughing it off.

Eventually when they walked away from that guy, Gerard had drained his drink. He looked exhausted.
“You okay? Want to head home?” Frank asked him
“I don't know,” Gerard replied
“How are you?” Frank asked, trying to figure out whether or not he should take Gerard home.
“I feel empty,” He looked around the room, and blinked slowly a few times, before looking down at Frank.
Frank got the sudden desire to hug Gerard, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries.
“Do you need anything? Water or food?” Frank decided that no matter what Gerards answer was, that they should probably get something besides alcohol and nicotine into his system.
“I haven eaten since… I don't remember when.” Gerard told him. “I’m not hungry though. Im okay.” he nodded, before starting to look intensively at his hands.
“C’mon, let's get out of here.” Frank told him.
Gerard nodded agreeably.
He placed a hand on Gerards back, and guided him towards the door.
When they walked out, Gerard clearly welcomed the fresh air. A smile pulled at the corner of his lips, but somehow, Frank felt he still looked sad.
“I’m kinda tired,” Gerard pointed out.
“That makes sense, you had a big day today. That was a big party, especially because you haven't been to anything like that before.”
“Yeah.” Gerard replied blankly.
“Do you want to lean on me?” Frank asked, as they started down the almost block long walk to his car.
“Yes.” Gerard said quietly
“Ok, you can. I don't mind,” Frank said, before Gerard gently leaned his head against Franks. He pulled Frank's arm against his side, and held onto it loosely in the crook of his arm.
Frank comfortingly rubbed Gerards bicep for a few seconds.
“You definitely seem tired, but I want to make sure you get some food in you, okay? If you want, I can bring you to my house, and I can take care of you tonight. I can make you a bed, and you can stay there. Or, I could make you something at your place, but I don't know what you have there.”
“Not at my house.” Gerard shook his head a little. “You can bring me home, I'll be fine.”
“But will you make yourself something to eat?” Frank asked
“I dunno.”
“Do you want to stay at my place? I can make you something. It’ll be a lot simpler that way.”
“Okay.” Gerard nodded.
Frank thought it was slightly worrisome how agreeable Gerard was being. It was because he was drunk. He wasn't super drunk, but he definitely wasn't sober. He was mostly worried that he was accidentally going to force him to do something he wasn't comfortable with.
It gave Frank a little comfort that Gerard had been able to express an opinion about whose house Frank would go to. It was a little strange that he felt more comfortable at Frank's house than his own for whatever reason. Perhaps he just didn't want Frank to know his address yet.
“Alright, here's my car, can you get into the passenger side?”
“Yeah,” Gerard said, letting go of Frank, and walking around to the passenger's side of the car.
Frank unlocked the car, and then they both got into it.
He started it, and then drove to his own home in silence. He tried to think about why Gerard had gotten so drunk. After thinking about the math for a few minutes he decided that the drink probably had an alcohol percentage of around 50. That's a lot of alcohol. And Gerard was a pretty skinny guy, or at least he seemed pretty small. After thinking about it for a little more, he came to the conclusion that that would make his blood alcohol percentage very high. .80 was his guess.
The drink from the other party definitely had a lower percentage of alcohol, and he wasn't there for long enough for the effects to show, because he was barely there for a half an hour which is a minimum set in point.
Frank nodded, making sense of the facts about why it seemed so weird for Gerard to be so drunk.

As he got close to his apartment building, he looked over at Gerard who sat in the passenger's seat, looking like he was fighting to stay awake.
“We’re almost there, okay? I’ll give you a snack, then you can go to sleep. Sounds good?” Frank informed him.
“Okay,” Gerard replied calmly, before sighing.
Frank smiled a little. It made him happy to be taking care of Gerard, but he didn’t know why.
When they got to the apartment building, Frank walked Gerard up the stairs, supporting his tired self.
“Man, what d’you weigh?” Frank asked
“I dunno, probably too much,” Gerard replied in a disappointed tone, lifting himself a little away from Frank.
“No no, you seem real small, that's what I meant.” Frank clarified, pulling Gerard back against him again.
“Oh,” Gerard said blankly, not answering the question.
Frank shrugged it off, as they reached his apartment. He unlocked the door, and let Gerard in first, before he followed and closed the door. He locked and bolted it, before hanging up his key.
“Got any allergies?” Frank asked
“No,” Gerard said, standing awkwardly by the door.
“You can go sit on the couch if you want,” Frank gestured towards the living space in the middle of the open concept apartment.
Gerard nodded tiredly, and went and sat on the couch.
Frank checked his watch, as he grabbed a glass for Gerard. It was almost midnight. He quickly filled it with cool water, before bringing it to Gerard.
“Here, make sure you drink this.” Frank handed him the glass.
“Thanks.” Gerard took the cup and immediately took a few sips from it.
“And if you need to use the bathroom, that's it over there,” Frank pointed at a small hallway with a few open doors. “It's the second door on the right.”
“Okay.” Gerard nodded, before taking another sip of his drink.
Frank then went to the kitchen and started preparing a simple meal. He made a can of chicken noodle soup, and served some into a bowl. Then he grabbed some water table crackers, and cut up an apple, putting them both on a plate.
He brought the bowl and plate to a half conscious Gerard, and handed it to him.
“I’ll be right back, I need to make the bed for you. Make sure you have some of everything, okay?”
“I will,” Gerard replied, before picking up a cracker and taking a bite of it.
Frank left the room, and went into his spare room. It had lots of music items all over it, and a large futon. He unfolded it, and then made it into a bed with the sheets and pillows that were always stored under it.
He made sure to put plenty of blankets on it, so that Gerard wouldn't get too cold, and he could peel off some layers if he got hot.
Next, he went and filled a spare water bottle and put it next to the fold out bed, just in case he got thirsty during the night. Then he went and found an unopened toothbrush, and set it next to the sink in the bathroom.

“How are you doing now?” Frank asked, walking back into the main room.
“I’m okay.” Gerard nodded “very tired though.”
“I made you a bed, so when you're done eating, you can get ready for bed, and then go to sleep. Do you want me to try to find something for you to change into? I don't know if I'll have anything that fits you since I'm so short. Wait! Actually I think I might have something!” Frank got up and rushed away to his own room, and quickly dug through his clothes baskets, before pulling out what he had been looking for.
He had a pair of shorts and shirt from a matching pajama set that were just a bit too large for him. They were stretchy, so they fit him in that regard, but they had been a little too long.
He set them down on Gerards bed, and nodded, before going back into the living room.
“Ok, I found some pajamas that will probably fit you. How are you doing with dinner?” Frank asked
“I’m basically done. Thanks for making it for me.” Gerard thanked him, having finished all the chicken noodle soup and all of the apple. There were only a few crackers left on his plate, which he was snacking on.
“Of course,” Frank told him. “So you can go get changed then, and if you want you can bring me your clothes and i’ll wash them. Also, so I don't forget, I found an unopened toothbrush so you can brush your teeth. You can use my toothpaste, because I couldn't find anything new.”
“Thanks,” Gerard said, before standing up, holding his dishes.
“You can just leave those on the table, I can take care of them.”
“Okay.” Gerard set the dishes down, and then walked to the bathroom.
He brushed his teeth, and rinsed his face, and then headed across the hall to where he had seen Frank going in and out. He found a fully made bed with clean clothes on top of it. He smiled gratefully -although it was diluted with sadness- and changed out of his shirt and jeans. He held onto his belt and shoes, putting them next to his bed on the floor.
He messily folded his shirt and jeans, and put them in front of his door, before speaking.
“Frank?”
“Yeah? Frank looked over from the kitchen, hearing his name called
“Goodnight.” Gerard nodded, his head poking out from his temporary room.
“Goodnight,” Frank replied with a smile.
Gerard pulled his head back into his room, and shut the door, before laying down and quickly falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Frank made sure to put Gerard's clothes through the washer-dryer before going to bed himself. He wanted to take care of him as best he could, so he wondered what Gerard might want for breakfast. He thought that it was possible that he would want to go first thing when he woke up, but Frank didn't want to let him leave until he had eaten.
Frank felt as though Gerard probably did not eat enough. He definitely looked a little skinny, and the alcohol affected him very strongly earlier that night. Frank knew that lighter people -or at least smaller people- were more affected by alcohol, because they had less blood, therefore less to thin out the alcohol in the bloodstream.
He worried that Gerard might not have food for some reason. Maybe he was too poor to afford food. That was sadly common among college students. Frank laid down, and worried himself to sleep.

The next morning, Gerard awoke with a slight headache. The night before felt a little fuzzy in his head, almost like a dream. He only knew it wasn't because he was on a futon in a room filled to the brim with guitars, amps, and things of the sort.
After a moment, he sat up and looked around a little better. He noticed the different types and sizes of guitars. He also saw some clothes folded neatly on the floor in front of the door.
He stood up slowly, and walked over. He felt a little light headed, so he leaned on the door for a moment, before bending down and picking up the clothes.
Upon unfolding them, he found that it was his clothes, folded and clean.
Recalling the night before, he vaguely remembered giving his clothes to Frank to clean them. That explained the strangely silky pajamas he was wearing.

Gerard quickly pulled his ripped jeans and gray t-shirt. He then pulled on his belt after tucking the shirt in, and slipped on his shoes.
As he was about to walk out of his makeshift room he stopped, and pulled the shoes back off. Wearing them gave the impression that he wanted to leave. He didn't particularly want to stay or go. He left the shoes by the door of the room, and then opened the door slowly and stepped out. He walked across the hall, and quickly washed his face and fixed his hair, before brushing his teeth. Then, checking himself out one final time, he stepped back into the hall, hoping he didn't look too awful.
When he walked down the short hall, he saw Frank sitting on the couch looking at his phone. Frank looked up and smiled, hearing Gerard.
“Hey! Good morning!” Frank said cheerily.
“Good morning,” Gerard replied “what time is it?”
“It's about ten fifteen. Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be?” Frank asked.
“Nope, just curious,” Gerard said, making it to the couch and sitting down slightly awkwardly.
“So how’d you sleep?”
“I slept pretty well. I was out like a rock, then I was awake again, but with a headache.” Gerard nodded.
“Oh! I totally forgot, do you need anything? Advil or water or food?”
“I could have some water, but I can get it myself. Where do you keep the cups?” Gerard asked, standing up and walking to the kitchen.
“The cupboard above the sink,” Frank replied “I normally get my water from the sink cause its faster, but you can take it from the fridge too.”
“Noted,” Gerard said, grabbing a cup, and filling it with tap water after running it over his fingers for a few moments to check the temperature.
“You hungry? I have stuff like cereal and whatever, or I can make something.” Frank offered.
“Uh, I don't know…” Gerard said, his tone turning almost questioning. He walked back to the couch and sat down, taking a sip from his glass.
“Well, when was the last time you ate? Besides last night of course,” Frank asked, trying to help him understand if he was or wasn't hungry.
“I um… What does that matter? Probably the day before,” Gerard replied avoidantly, sounding a little irritated.
Frank went silent for a moment, unsure how to respond to his mood change.
“Sorry I'm being so mean, I guess I'm just kinda sensitive about that kind of thing.” Gerard said with a sigh.
Frank gave him a questioning look, but didnt say anything so as to not upset him again.
“I was um… I was a really fat kid. It took its toll on me in the form of… questionable food habits if you know what I mean. I would um… I guess I skipped a lot of meals to get thin, but now I'm mostly just overly sensitive to stuff about weight or food or whatever. It just makes me… I dunno. Never mind.” Gerard brushed himself off
“Oh, I'm sorry. I never meant it like that.” Frank replied genuinely.
“I know you didn't, i'm just being a dick,”
“No, it's okay, I think I understand. I was just worried about you, though. That's all.”
“Thank you,” Gerard replied shyly.
“So, do you want me to make you something? Or, like I said, I could get out some cereal. If you felt up to it, we could go out and get some coffee.” Frank juggled the ideas he had been thinking about, hoping internally that Gerard would opt to do anything but go home.
“Yeah, we could go grab coffee. I don't have much money with me though,” Gerard said
“It's okay, It can be on me,” Frank offered.
“Ok,” Gerard replied, mentally noting that he would pay Frank back.
“Gimme a minute, I need to go grab my shoes, I'll be right back,” Frank quickly hopped up and shuffled down the hall towards his room. He walked into it and quickly grabbed a pair of converse out of the bottom of his wardrobe. He pulled them on, then checked himself in his mirror, hoping that he didn't look too awful. He scrutinized his jacket. It was a plain zip up, but he decided that it didn't look very good on him at that moment.
He pawed quickly through his jackets, hoodies and sweatshirts. When he finally made his decision, It was a misfits hoodie, which he liked the look of.
He quickly switched his jacket for his hoodie, and started back out down the hall.
“Are you gonna be cold?” Frank asked “it's pretty chilly outside,”
Mornings in October were like that in Jersey, always crisp and breezy.
“I’ll be fine, remember, I was dressed like this yesterday in that cold supermarket. I’m kinda used to being cold a lot. Anyways, looking how I want to is more important to me,” Gerard said with a chuckle.
“Whatever, just don't say I didn't warn you,” Frank laughed, as they started out the door together. He closed it and locked it once they were both out, before speaking again. “Do you know of any good places around here? I normally just stop anywhere random on my way to wherever i’m going,”
“I love starbucks,” Gerard laughed, making Frank laugh too. “But, we can go wherever,” he said once they had both calmed down a little
“That one’s walkable too, if you want,” Frank said with a smile
“Yeah, I know the way,” Gerard started across the parking lot towards the sidewalk.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Gerard asked Frank a question.
“What's up about Halloween? Why’s it on your hands?”
“Well, I like Halloween, and for a few good reasons.”
Gerard gave him a questioning look, which made Frank laugh a little. He smiled even bigger, watching the grin spread across Gerards face.
“Okay, for one, its fucking Halloween, its, like awesome man,” Frank started with a chuckle, making Gerard laugh. “And for two, it's my birthday. It's the day on which I was born, which is a cause to celebrate.” Frank nodded, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
Gerard smiled.
“That's cool. I think all your tattoos are neat. How many do you have?” Gerard asked
“Shit, I couldn't answer you If I tried, i’ve got so many,”
“Are they all just on your arms and hands and stuff?”
“No,” Frank said with a chuckle, “I've got them all over. Mostly on my arms and torso, quite a few on my legs, all coverable stuff but my finger tattoos. None on my neck or face, nothing like that,” He shook his head “I guess I could wear normal gloves to cover the finger tattoos, but like… why? Y’know?” Frank chuckled to himself, and Gerard nodded with a smile. “So, do you have any tattoos or stuff like that?”
“Nah, I hate needles. That stuff’s scary,” Gerard said, before shuddering. “I can't even imagine getting piercings. Not even normal ear ones. And tattoos I-” he shuddered again. “I think they're really cool though,” he nodded with a small smile.
“I definitely get that,” Frank smiled, looking at Gerard. “I remember, the scariest piercing I ever got was my lip ring. And i’ve got a lot of piercings, so that's saying something”
“That seems scary. You aren't wearing it though,” Gerard pointed out curiously
“It's, um, sometimes it seems like a little too much for people. Like, for whatever reason, piercings and tattoos are something a lot of people don't like. And I don't mind not wearing the lip ring. And it's that, or have people point out the unprofessionalism of it, which is a hassle. Especially if you have as many tattoos as I do, y’know,” He chuckled, sounding tired.
“That's gotta suck,” Gerard sighed. “What do you do? Like for work?” he asked, trying to change the subject, hating to make Frank feel bad.
“Actually, my band makes enough money for me to live on right now. But barely, y’know? I’m cutting it close. The sad thing is though, that we practice at times where I wish I could be partying, and I think we’re starting to increase those times.” he feigned a disappointed sigh.
“Yeah,” Gerard laughed “i’m sure you’ll find time somewhere to party,”
“I always find a way,” Frank smiled.
They both realised that they had almost reached the Starbucks, and were beginning to enter a more populated area of the town. Either subconsciously or not, they both moved to walk closer together on the sidewalk.
“So, are you a coffee or a tea kinda person?” Gerard asked Frank, when they were across the street from the store.
“It really depends, but normally coffee. Like, coffee in the morning, tea in the evening, and alcohol at night,” Frank said, making them both laugh.
“Fair,” Gerard said. “so, black coffee, or something special?”
They walked into the shop together, and the overwhelming scent of coffee and syrups hit like a tidal wave.
“Probably black. What about you?”
“Man, I like black coffee, cause it's got that kick, but I also really like the fun drinks. Like, it's like coffee flavoured ice cream. You get coffee, and some other treat!” Gerard said, getting excited about coffee.
“Ok, what are you gonna get? You should get, like, a drink and a snack… I'm thinking plain coffee and a chocolate croissant for me.” Frank told him, after a few moments of insightfulness.
“Man, that actually sounds amazing right now… I dunno, I might actually copy you.” Gerard nodded, thinking about eating a chocolate croissant. “Yeah, I think I'll get the exact same thing,” he laughed and nodded.
“Sounds great! I’ll go place the order, you wanna grab a table or whatever?” Frank offered.
“Ok! Thanks!” Gerard smiled, before Frank walked off and got in line.
Gerard took a moment to think about how kind Frank had been to him while they had been hanging out. People were definitely correct in saying he was nice. He was so caring and giving. Gerard knew he had hardly returned the favor, and it made him feel bad. He tried to think of how he could, or something he could do to at least make up for his behavior a little.
It wasn't like he had been particularly rude or anything. Mostly just snippy and hollow and not kind or generous at all.

A few minutes later, Frank returned with their coffee and snacks, and sat down.
“Here you go,” he said, handing one of each item to Gerard
“Thank you!”
“Of course,” Frank nodded, “and these are for me!” he said with an excited chuckle.
After a moment, Gerard bridaled up the courage to tell Frank what was on his mind.
“Uhm, can I tell you something kinda… I dunno, serious…”
Frank immediately felt panic settle in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't fathom what Gerard was about to say. He set down his coffee, and looked devotedly at Gerard, showing he had his attention.
“Sure, shoot.” Frank told him.
“I just want to… apologize, actually.” Gerard said, looking down.
“For what?” Frank asked kindly, not breaking his gaze, genuinely not understanding what he was going to apologize for.
“Um, you’ve been really nice to me, and I want to thank you for that. But um, all I've been in return, is kinda a dick.” Gerard apologized sincerely “How can I try to make it up to you? Besides stopping of course, because I'm already working on that one.”
“I don't feel like you’ve been being a dick to me, it's just that different people are different. For me to show that I care about someone, I do whatever I can to help them. I think that what you do is just show up and be there, y’know? And so I guess how you could make it up, is just keep coming to parties or whatever with me. Cause I genuinely enjoy it.”
“Are you sure?” Gerard asked, finally looking up a little.
“I’m sure,” Frank replied reassuringly.
“Thank you,” Gerard gave him a shy smile
“Is that all?” Frank asked, feeling a little weight lift off his chest.
“Yeah,” Gerard said smally
“Well thanks for giving me a heart attack,” Frank chuckled light heartedly. “I thought you were gonna…”
“Break up with you?” Gerard laughed
“Yeah, I dunno,” Frank laughed, still uneasy, taking a sip of his coffee, and feeling how shaky his hand was.
“Wait, I really scared you, I’m so sorry,” Gerard laughed, Frank visibly shaking. “I’m sorry,” He laughed a little more. Frank nervously chuckled in reply.

They continued talking as they snacked and had their coffee, though at first all the conversation contained was a half amused Gerard attempting to sooth Frank's nerves. Eventually when they were done, they went to Frank's apartment. Gerard left Frank there, and bade him goodbye, saying that he was excited for the next party. Once Frank had gone inside, he went to his own home.