Chapter 1: 1993
Chapter Text
She first heard the name "Dana Scully" when her son visited her for Christmas in 1993.
One of the rare times she saw him smile after her daughter's disappearance.
It was a well known fact that they didn't have the best relationship. At first she thought it was only a matter of time before he went on with his life - a life of his own -, with a job that kept him busy most of the time. It has happened to many of her friends, after all. The daughters and the sons of her fellow mother friends left as soon as they were 18 to study or to work and became independent people.
Only difference was that they still kept some form of touch with their parents. They paid them several visits. Teena could see from a distance their happiness of seeing their parents again, talking about their daily lives, bringing in new people to meet - potential life partners, even - and spending hours laughing and chatting.
She envied them.
Of course, there were cases in which children never visited their parents, or keeping in touch at all. Her friend Maisie's son left at 18 and never came to visit. From what she had heard Maisie's husband, kicked him out because he found out his son was a homosexual. The poor kid, he didn't even got the chance to finish school. Even after his father's death, he didn't speak to his mother. Maisie thinks it was because she didn't stop him from leaving.
If only he knew how much she loved him. He would surely return.
No, Fox wasn't exactly angry at her. At least, that's what Teena thought. He still called - once in six months at least - and still visited her - once a year, usually on Christmas-.
Still, it wasn't enough for her.
If anything though, she was understanding. He had a lot of work to do, working in the FBI wasn't easy. She learned that from experience. And she didn't need a degree in psychology - like the one Fox had - to understand he avoided any further contact with her. Only the necessary. Like the good, dutiful son he was raised to be. Even if he was raised alone after the age of 12, because his parents paid more attention to themselves than to the child left behind.
Nonesense she thought. Fox must despise me
That was not entirely true. He loved his mom, to be sure. She raised him, after all. And she loved him too. And poor Samantha.
Was that love true? Or was it out of the duty a son has for his mother?
Whatever was the case, Fox ended up paying her a visit that Christmas.
He looked different that year. Happier. He was only 32, as young as most of her friend's sons were. Only, since Samantha disappeared, he seemed to age 10 years in a single night. When he visited her, he always seemed so tired, worn out. And sad, always sad.
Perhaps he was lonely. He's not married, after all.
This year was different. He seemed like a boy again, only caring about his favourite team on the television and his math tests. He greeted her with a smile and gave her his gift for her, a perfume bottle that he knew she would like.
"Oh, Fox, you didn't have to buy me a gift."
Her son shrugged.
"It's Christmas. I had to buy you something special." he replied, smiling.
She didn't deserve a present, not from him. Not after everything she and his father did. But, he seemed happy, so she allowed it and guided him to the table.
The dinner was, as always, awkward. They made small talk, mainly focusing on the life in Martha's vineyard, how she and his Father did, if things were in order. She reassured him that everything was fine. As it always was. Well, mostly.
"So, how's work?"
The critical question was dropped before she even realised it. It slipped from her mouth as easy as a greeting. Ever the question to break the ice between you and your son who, if anything, despises you.
Usually, Fox would say "Fine" and the conversation would end there. They would go on with their meal, he would help with the dishes, he would stay for tea and then leave. Always leave. Never stay a second longer.
This time however, he said:
"It's good, actually" and paused. Teena smiled. Things must have been going on well for him.
And then, he said something completely new:
"I, uh, have a new partner."
Oh. That was new. And worrying. She couldn't remember the last time Fox had a partner, or really someone to work with. And get along.
The last time must have been bad. Because he didn't usually do well with partners.
"That sounds nice. Are you two getting along well?" she asked. This sounded more like a mother asking her child about his new friend he met at the park. But yet again, when did she get the chance to ask him such questions?
Fox looked at her with eyes that suddenly lit up.
"I believe so"
Wasn't he sure? What was that partner like that he didn't get along with her son? There were, after all, many arrogant young men at the FBI that thought they could finish a case by themselves in a minute, like Bill was when he first started. It wouldn't be that surprising for Fox to be partnered up with an airhead, young man who-
"She's very smart."
Oh. Oh. His partner was a "she". She didn't know women worked at the FBI.
How the times must have changed.
"Actually, she's brilliant" Fox continued. "She's a medical doctor and has a physics degree."
"She sounds very accomplished" Teena added. Fox smiled at that.
"Oh, yes, she is. Sometimes I think she's way smarter than me. We disagree on many things, especially regarding our job on the field. But she always seems so eager to prove me wrong, it actually became a habit"
"Doesn't that make your job more difficult?" she asked. She knew that, once people argue about things, it was difficult to change one's opinion on a matter. A scientist and a criminologist certainly had different point of views on many subjects. Fox was always so stubborn. If he set his mind on something, he would accomplish it, no matter who or what stood on his way.
Perhaps that was why he was searching for his sister so passionately.
"Oh, no, actually" he replied. "She's... Always so sceptical. She views everything with a scientific view and, well, I don't. And that certainly brings out room for arguments. But, here's the thing" he looked in Teena's eyes, with a sort of sparkle in his.
"She always listens to me, even if she doesn't believe me. She debunks my theories, but I don't really mind. Because she always listens to them first, even when she completely disagrees with them. I never really had that in my work before."
Ah, yes. His work. Teena didn't know a lot of details about the nature of his job, except that it was overlooked by the FBI. And that it meant a lot for her son. He viewed it as a way to find Samantha. She wondered if she knew about his sister or if she was clueless to Fox's journey.
No, that must not be true. If she's so eager to listen, she must know about this bizarre story. After all, Fox seemed to trust her.
She wanted to ask more about her. That partner seemed definitely interesting. Was she in the FBI long, or was she a young agent, as naïve as any other young person can be? What did she look like? Was she married? Did she have any children?
And most importantly: What does she think of you?
"How long have you been working together?" is what she settles for. His new rambling certainly brought a new light on their conversations and she didn't want to ruin it by asking descreat questions.
He couldn't have known the answer back then.
"A few months. Scully seems to like it and work has shown much progress with her presence."
She raised her eyebrow. Fox noticed it and quickly explained:
"Her name is Dana Scully, actually. But, um, I call her Scully, not Dana. She doesn't call me Fox either."
Of course, the everlasting presence of his embarrassment for his name. Even in that very important partner of his, he didn't allow her to call him with his first name.
Why would he allow a stranger, when he never even wanted his parents to refer to him like that?
"Well, she certainly seems like a very good partner." Teena concluded. Over the years, the "very good" would become something even more, but for now, it seemed enough.
First impressions can very often be entirely wrong.
"She is" Fox said with a sigh. "At first I didn't want a partner, you know. I thought she was a spy."
Teena nodded. Being at the FBI meant that people could be watching you. Whether that was because you did your job well, or, like Fox, didn't do what you were asked to.
"But now, I really enjoy our partnership."
She looked him with curiosity. He quickly corrected himself
"I mean, it benefits us both. Workwise."
Teena nodded. She knew that wasn't what he meant, but she wouldn't push this further.
Later, he would stay just a bit longer, untill he apparently had to leave. At the door, he hugged her as he put on his coat and she smiled at him. Fox looked at her with a curious look.
"What?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing. You just seem..." Younger. Contempt. Like you found someone really special.
"Happy"
He grinned. "Yeah. I suppose I am"
She thinks she knew Dana Scully before she even met her. Because her son never stopped talking about her.
She must have meant a lot to him. Even back then.
Chapter Text
Love is indeed a very curious feeling.
It blinds you. It enlightens you. It makes you whole. It empties you.
Teena had been in love in her life. She remembers the soldiers she used to admire like demigods. The boys who looked at her at school. The young men who sent her flowers or asked her for a dance.
They were all charming.
But no one was like Bill though.
His charm lied in something else than just looks - though he was very good looking-. He was quite the stubborn young man, with an ego bigger than anyone she has ever seen in her life. His cleverness and abilities made him really believe he could change the world.
"Trust me Teena" he used to say to her "One day, my work is going to change the whole world."
It wasn't however the whole world he had changed in the end.
It was her world.
And she could never forgive him for changing that.
"the enigmatic Dr. Scully"
She recalls Fox calling his partner that during one particularly light hearted conversation one of his every-six months-phone call. An obligation to his mother. A duty made by his guilt.
She wished he would call her every week. She wanted to know about his day. Whether he was feeling alright. If he had eaten and rested well.
But most importantly, she wanted to know about Miss Scully.
Dana Scully had become the primary topic of their conversations. He hadn't visited her since Christmas, but he now called her -much to her delight- more often. Instead of six months, he called her every three months.
It wasn't enough, but it still was an improvement.
Maybe he didn't despise her as much.
Every conversation would start with acquiring about their own lives. Life on the Vineyard went on peacefully, life on DC was just the same. As peaceful as the life of a FBI agent was on the field anyway.
And then, she would always ask:
"How is Miss Scully, by the way?"
She could swear she could almosg see the glow in Fox's eyes.
"She's fine" he would answer, and then he would go on to mention something she did or something clever she said. Everything, of course, within the line of descreat.
She didn't want to gossip. She simply wanted to know if she was alright.
And still there.
She enjoyed the several minutes Fox dedicated into talking about his partner. It made him sound like a young boy again, telling her about his new friend he made in school and their little adventures together.
How she missed these times
He always had to go though. That was fine. He still was occupied with his work.
Even so, in every end of the call, Teena was left feeling contempt. Her son was well, his work went smoothly and he had found someone special to work with him.
A friend. How long had it been since he had a real friend?
Or even better, a lover?
Then, one day, Fox stopped calling her.
At first she was worried. Did something happen? Was he ill? In need of help?
Was he- No, no, certainly not that
If anything of that sort had indeed happen, she would have known. Surely, she would be notified.
Or was he so distant towards her that he would forbid anyone to tell her about his very possible death?
Teena didn't even want to even think about it. She was exaggerating things. Maybe he was busy and had forgotten to call her. Maybe he couldn't find anything interesting to say to her. That would be alright from her. She would let him talk about Miss Scully for hours, if that meant he would still talk to his mother about something.
She considered calling him herself, but she never did that before. He always was the one who took the initiative and called her. She didn't want to disturb him, if he was busy.
Perhaps she could call Miss Scully and ask if he was alright. No, that would be ridiculous. She didn't wish to disturb her either.
In the end, curiosity -and her instict- got the best of her and called him. Much to her surprise, he answered in the first ring.
"Mulder"
She almost teared up. His voice was so... Changed. For the worse.
His previous sadness had returned, though now there was something even worse.
Despair.
And hidden in that desperation, a tiny glimpse of hope.
God. Something must have been terribly wrong.
"Fox, it's me" she mustered out.
She could almost hear the disappointment in his voice, like he was expecting someone else.
"Oh, hi mom. Did you want something?"
Did she want something? No, not something important. Just her son to tell her what was going on and why the hell was he frightening her.
"Oh, no, I just-" she paused. She had forgotten what she wanted to say. The only thing she could focus on was his voice.
"I wanted to see if you were alright. You didn't call and I thought that-"
"Sorry, I was busy" he muttered. She knew it. He was busy with his work. Maybe he was tired, maybe exhaustion got the best of him.
Fox, Fox, Fox, when will you ever learn how to relax, you stubborn-
"How is Miss Scully?" the question was said before she even realised it and immediately wished she could take it back. Maybe that was why he was so sad.
Did she leave? Did something happen to her?
"She's, um-" Fox couldn't continue his sentence. He was ready to cry.
"Fine. She's fine" he quickly composed himself, before quickly saying:
"Look mom, I have to go. I'll call you back"
Before she could even answer, he hang up. And Teena was left with thousands of questions, but not a single answer.
Story of her life, apparently.
Over the next weeks, she tried to call him, but received no answer. Meanwhile, she tried to relax and not imagine the worst. She even explained the problem to her friends, hiding of course the details and the existence of Dana Scully. She already respected her enough to let her become a common subject for gossiping. They told her it wasn't probably nothing, just a phase her son must have been going through.
"Boys and their damn hormones" her friend Betty said. She quickly wanted go correct her. Fox wasn't a boy, not anymore, though the last few months left her hoping he had become the care free child he once was.
In the end, it wasn't exactly what she had expected it to be.
Fox called her mid-November, exactly one month and two weeks since the call. She picked the phone immediately, with the same hope she once heard from him.
Her hopes were indeed answered. She hid her excitement and tried to act like she wasn't at all worried. He was feeling guilty about lots of things.
He apologized for not calling, saying again he was busy. It wasn't exactly a lie. And then he explained his absence in detail.
"Scully was in the hospital when you called"
Poor girl, she thought. Maybe it was the remaining feelings that were left of her own daughter, or the intensity of her son's feelings for his friend, but she instantly felt sad. That was why he sounded so depressed. Miss Scully was sick and he thought he would lose her.
The situation must have been serious.
Apparently, she was missing for approximately 3 months. The time Fox stopped calling. She was found more than a month ago, in a comatose state and the doctors thought she wouldn't pull through.
Poor, poor girl.
But she was awakened in the end. She reminded herself to thank God for allowing that. For the sake of that poor girl, as much as for her poor son.
"She's fine now. She's resting at her house and she'll be back at work on Monday"
Fox's relief was overwhelming. It almost made her cry.
"You must have really missed her" she told him.
"Yeah" he answered, guilt evident in his voice.
The call soon ended and Teena was left feeling more relaxed than she had been in months.
Her son was alive, well, still working and somewhat happy.
Miss Scully was alive, recovering from quite a dramatic experience and still working with Fox.
And her? She now left with new food for thought about her son's life.
Betty was right. It was hormones.
Love is hormones, after all
Notes:
Ah yes, good ol'Abduction arc angst
I just love how he pines over her :)
Chapter Text
You can't judge someone, until you meet them in person.
It's a golden rule long forgotten in gossip. People judge someone based entirely upon someone else's opinion of them. Small talk during walk-ins on the supermarket, daily gossiping on the phone, or even conversations during Sunday's tea, people went through whole trials held by strangers who heard only rumors.
A rumor is often a well-disguised lie.
Teena had made that mistake many times in her youth. In her defense, she did it while trying to be liked by her neighbours. Until this day, she felt immense regret for all these people who she wronged, without ever meeting them. She just gossiped about them, even if she felt it was wrong.
Realising that something is wrong, doesn't excuse it, though.
It wasn't until she became an object of said gossip that she fully understood her mistake. She didn't care about the gossip itself however. She was too busy trying to overcome the wound of loosing a child and your trust to the one person who you're supposed to trust the most.
( Neglecting the only person who wasn't to blame. She never forgave herself for that )
After Samantha's disappearance, little things mattered. Rumors about her weren't one of them. She could only imagine everyone's opinion of her. The poor mother. The unhappy wife that only wanted to keep appearacnes.
She knew who she truly was. And she didn't need the whispers she kept hearing on the street, or the talks behind her back, trying to pitty her or judge her.
She was a coward.
When she met Dana Scully in person however, she realised that rumors can indeed be true.
Well, more like her son's rambling about her, that is.
Fox liked to be very chatty about things that he liked. When he's excited, he can't control himself and starts an uncontrollable blabbering about what had excited him. When he was little, she chastised him for it, saying that "it was not a proper gentleman behaviour" and that "he must learn how to control his speaking".
Looking back at it now, she would have told him to keep speaking.
Now, his voice was more precious than anything.
She liked Miss Scully. She did not want to admit at first, but her profile contacted by Fox- pun intended - was very flattering. A medical doctor, with an undergraduate degree in physics. A teacher at the academy in Quantico and one of the best agents of the Bureau. An excellent doctor, a capable agent and the most trustworthy partner.
Once she was returned from her mysterious disappearance and had awakened from her coma, she made a fast recovery and remained by Fox's side. Teena appreciated that. He needed a good friend by his side.
Overall, she was a truly remarkable individual.
According to Fox, at least. To his eyes, Miss Scully was the brightest, kindest, most brilliant person he has ever met in his life.
Sometimes, people can be deceiving when they are asked to describe something. They may not remember correctly. Or they may be not good with words. They can easily lie. Their excitement will probably cloud their judgement and exaggerate things. The result can be a very different picture, far from the truth. She knew it from experience, with all the rumors and the gossip she heard in her life.
Surprisingly, Fox didn't make that mistake.
When she heard the news that Bill was dead, she didn't really know how to feel.
"Gunshot wound, right temple, was shot in his own house" that's what the FBI said.
Once upon a time, she loved him with all her heart. Tried to give him everything he wanted, everything they needed. A good marriage. Good economic resources. A big house in a great area. Two amazing children. A happy, full life.
She gave him everything she had. And in return? He betrayed her. Made her choose between her own two children, two children who she gave birth to, raised alone and couldn't wait to see what they would become when they grow up.
One did grow up. The other one was long gone.
She couldn't forgive him for that. Never.
She was sad, of course. Even after a difficult divorce, a betrayal and everything he had done, she felt sad when she found out about his death. She even cried, surprising even her own self.
She wasn't heartless. Especially when he was so brutally murdered.
But her heart shuttered when she heard from the FBI that the primary suspect was her son.
"Surely, you are mistaken" she told them, because of course they were. Fox could never, NEVER, kill anyone. Let alone his own father. Her son, a murderer? Fox, who cried out for hours when he accidentally stepped on an ant when he was little and thinking that he had done the ultimate sin.
Fox, who couldn't wait to hug his baby sister when she was born and was peering through the nursery's key hole, in case she cried and he needed to tend to her.
Fox, who was passionately searching for Samantha, thinking that he was the one who caused her disappearance.
Fox, who talked about his partner like she was an angel.
A murderer? Absolutely not.
But then, he disappeared. Teena heard so many theories about his disappearance, that she didn't know what to believe anymore. He fled, afraid to be charged with a murder, his own father nonetheless. Some said that he was hiding in the dessert, feverishly trying to find something, she did not quite understand what.
The worst were the theories about his death.
She didn't want to hear any of these. But the last theory was beginning to sound more plausible by the minute.
She even tried to call him, just to check, just to see if everything was just a bad dream and he would pick up and talk about his day and his partner's.
It would almost be too good to be true.
She went to the funeral half heartedly. Not only was she burying her ex-husband, she was soon to bury her son.
She has a flare for drama, huh.
Good words were spoken about Bill in his funeral. A loyal friend-to awful friends-, a loving husband-at least once he was- and a good father. She wanted to laugh at that last one.
If only they knew.
During the ceremony, her only thought was to just disappear. Run home and call her son, the FBI, anyone who would have news about him. The graveyard was filled by strange people, with whom she was never introduced and never wished to. Bill's strange friends, apparently.
But, she always cared about appearances, so what was another performance? The last one, hopefully.
She couldn't be more glad when the funeral ended. The whole thing was too tiring, she was too concerned about Fox, she couldn't stay another minute there. She started to leave, when she saw a young woman approaching her.
A beautiful, redhead girl, no older than thirty five. Her eyes- china blue, clear as sea, piercing- searched her and offered her a polite smile.
"Mrs Mulder, I'm Dana Scully, I work with your son." and extended her hand.
She recognised her. Of course she did.
Her son spoke of her so dearly of her.
"I um, I know what you might have heard from the FBI, but I have a very strong feeling that your son will be found."
The words came out of Miss Scully's mouth like a blessing. Fox could be alive. Found and returned home.
"Oh, my goodness gracious!" was the only thing she could say at the moment. Where was he? Was he alive? Or the only thing left from him would be his dead body?
"I believe he's alive" Miss Scully continued.
"How do you know?"
She hesitated for a small moment.
"I just have a very strong feeling."
Teena had already understood that her and her son already had a strong relationship. They were partners for more than a year and already seemed to be friendly, as most partners are.
But this. This went beyond any professional bond of such sort.
Miss Scully explained the whole situation as shortly as she could, trying not to forget any important information on the last few days. Her "feeling" was based on the lack of Fox's body of course, so there was still hope. But mostly, it came out of a strange dream she had the previous night. Fox appeared and told her that he was indeed alive and they needed to continue on with their work.
"A strange dream, I know" Miss Scully admitted. And indeed it was.
Had it been another situation, she would have laughed at her. "My dear girl" she would tell her, with the gentleness of a mother. "Dreams are beautiful lies. They're meant to be forgotten the minute you wake up. You are grieving. Don't base your hopes on visions".
If she were Samantha-her Samantha, the one she thought she came back to them a few months before- she would pat her head and sush her. Had it been another time, little girls shouldn't rely on silly dreams.
But this was Dana Scully. The Dana Scully. The sceptic doctor, who always had reasonable explanation for anything. Her son's partner, who couldn't just believe something that easily, without explanation.
Surely, she knew something more than simple, almosg childish explanations.
"And what do you make off these dreams, Miss Scully?" Teena asked her once she was finished.
She hesitated for a minute.
"I- I don't exactly know. I don't want to give you any false hopes, I know how hard it must be for you. And I understand that I certainly can be mistaken. I worry about him. I worry about the worse."
Teena nodded. Even she did. And she didn't want to believe that she lost two children by her own mistake.
"But I also know Mulder. I know that he's more than willing to find the answers he seeks. There is no way he would go down, not without a fight. I trust him. And I know he is alive, because he is so stubborn, he won't give up that easily."
The first time Fox talked about her, he mentioned that she was always willing to listen to what he would say. That made him feel special. It seemed that nobody else in the world would listen, or even understand him.
Except for her.
And right now, Miss Scully was the only one who would listen to what he was saying. Or rather, signs that he was alive. It was like looking directly at his soul.
It made Teena almost cry. She never had this in her life. The man buried in that grave never understood her. She never felt like he could read her, look right inside her soul. And, for a minute, she was jealous of her son. Because he found the person who knew him better than anyone.
Better than himself, even.
"He talks a lot about you, you know" Teena said with a small smile, after a pause.
Miss Scully blushed a little. "He's, um, a very good partner, and a friend."
"Well, it must be mutual. He said the exact same thing as you."
The girl said nothing. After a while, she looked directly at Teena's eyes and said:
"I will find him Mrs Mulder. I promise you that."
I know, she thought. You and Fox are so much alike.
They walked up to the car that would take her home and Miss Scully gave her her hand again.
"If I find anything else, I will let you know"
She thanked her again and got inside the car.
On her way home, she couldn't stop thinking about the interaction. Even within a few minutes talking to her, she seemed like everything Fox said about her. Sceptical, yet as determined to find the truth as Fox wanted. And with a heart so filled with determination for him, it almost made her question the nature of their relationship.
She knew he was alive. She felt it. And that was enough to make Teena believe.
And in the end, Miss Scully was right. As soon as she entered the house, Fox was there, alive and well.
The rumors are true. Someone else's belief brought him back.
And it was because of the brilliant Dana Scully, who perhaps had no idea that he was alive.
She must have been in for a big surprise.
Notes:
I think we don't appreciate Scully's hair is s3 enough. It's so 90's, I'm obsessed.
Sis is Iconic.
Chapter Text
Death is unavoidable.
Like most people, Teena wasn't unfamiliar with the concept of death. Her father, a person she had very few memories of, died during WWII. A great soldier, she heard people call him. A great man, her mother described him. As for herself, she did not quite remember. So, she couldn't tell.
Sure, it was an unfair death. He was young and he had a small child and a wife waiting for him when the war was finally over. She didn't even remember him saying goodbye to her. He could have done so many things, if he had survived. Instead, he left behind him a widow and an orphan. All for his country.
She wondered what he would have thought of her, had he been alive now. He would have been very disappointed.
Her mother died a few years after her daughter vanished. Teena didn't have the heart to tell her about Samantha's disappearance, afraid that her heart couldn't take it. So, they kept it a secret, telling her that they simply send her to a nice school in England for better education. And she believed it, for a while.
Teena had forgotten to tell Fox, however, about the lie she told his grandmother. A few weeks before he moved to England, when she asked him if he was excited to see his sister in England, Fox stayed silent and looked over at her with the same question in his eyes. Teena quickly answered that she was fine and that she would try to visit them soon.
Needless to say, Fox didn't take it quite well.
"Why are you lying to her?" he had asked, furious. He was at an age when he would disagree with everything his mother said with an intense passion. Puberty, combined with the pain of everything that happened, made their fights more common than necessary.
"I couldn't tell her Fox. It would break her heart to know that Samantha's gone."
Fox scoffed. "Oh, so lying to her won't?"
"She's old Fox!" His mother replied with anger. "Her heart won't take it. If she finds out, she will very likely have a heart attack and die!"
"And how do you know that? Are you her doctor?" Fox continued with the same irony in his tone.
"I am her daughter"
And Samantha is your daughter, the same thought came to both of their heads, but neither would say it. It would only make things worse.
Teena took a deep breath and continued.
"Listen Fox. When you love someone, you want to make sure that they will live a life without pain. Especially when they're sick, or old, like your grandmother"
Fox knew that his grandmother could die of a heart disease. He didn't want ther dead, either.
"I love Samantha. But I also love my mother so much, that I don't want her to die with her heart broken." she continued.
Fox wouldn't even look at her.
"She doesn't have many years left. I want her to live a happy life, without pain. And certainly without feeling like she won't see her granddaughter again. You know how much she loves her, it would pain her so much to learn that she will likely won't come back-"
"Don't say that" Fox interrupted her. He didn't even want to think that Samantha wouldn't be found. He had the same, meaningless hope.
It pained her to see him like that.
"Even so, she's not here. Lying is a bad thing, sure. But I also don't want my mother dead, and neither do you" she took his hand. He refused to meet her eyes.
"Fox, one day, you will find someone that you'll love so much, you won't even comprehend the very idea of seeing them dead, or hurt. It causes us so much pain when we see people we love suffering. So, we make sure to stand by them, without causing them any more pain."
"Yeah, but lying to them isn't an option either. Grandma hates lying. And I hate lying too!" Fox replied. Teena sighed. He couldn't understand. Of course he couldn't, he was still a child.
"One day, you'll understand what I mean. But for now, don't tell her, alright?"
He stayed silent. "Plese Fox. For me"
He finally nodded. Teena thanked him and started the engine of her car. He still wouldn't look at her, but that was alright. He didn't talk to her much those days.
When her funeral finally came, Fox was ever so distant to his mother. He was angry at her, even after all these years.
Which wasn't a surprise. He was still very young to understand the reasons behind her lies.
The time came, however, when he finally understood. And it was even more painful than she had imagined.
After the whole incident with Fox and his father's death, things were finally back to normal. As normal as they could be, at least.
Their contacts didn't increase, but didn't stop all together either. For about a whole year, their lives moved smoothly. He had his work and she had her solitude. Their daily lives were nothing but thrilling, but at least they were peaceful.
( As peaceful as they could get, with his dangerous workplace and her constant nightmares )
And, of course, Miss Scully was there. Teena hadn't seen her after the funeral, and rightfully so. She felt weird inviting her for dinner with Fox, or at least call her and thank her for finding and taking care of him.
She was so grateful, after all.
She did however have her phone number, but never brought herself to call her. It felt like she was intruding her son's personal life, as well as his partner's.
She considered inviting her for dinner, when Fox visited her for her birthday, but thought that it would make both parties uncomfortable.
It would seem as if she would meet her future daughter in-law. Definitely awkward.
She had hopes of seeing her one day, soon. But she didn't expect her to show up on her door, all of a sudden one day with Fox looking like a mess.
For the first time in her life, she didn't want to talk to him.
His visit could have been so pleasant, even if it was unannounced, if he hadn't started interrogating her about her past life. Like she was a suspect in one of their cases. Like she was the one who needed to punished.
It wasn't the first time Fox tried to ask her about his father's work and his sister's abduction. After Bill's funeral, he went to her in the middle of the night and asked her if she had made a choice between him and Samantha. No, he didn't ask, he demanded to know the answer. He tried to be gentle, he knew how much she didn't want to talk about this matter, but it all resulted in her crying about how much she hated his father for doing this to her. To them.
Surprisingly, after her stroke, he didn't say a word about the pressing matter. Instead, he just stayed by her side and made small talk. He brought flowers- tulips, like the ones she grew back in the Vineyard- and a small bouquet of lilies, with a "get well" card.
"Scully asked me to give you these. She wishes that you'll recover quickly".
She wanted to thank her, it was a kind gesture and she certainly appreciate it. She never showed up, however, probably because of shyness or because she didn't want to intrude. Which is nonsense. She was always happy to see her.
Nevertheless, that last visit didn't end well. She ended up upset and Fox with a red mark in his cheek.
And Miss Scully with a bloody nose.
Teena noticed the red streak coming from the girl's nose almost immediately after Fox run out of the house. She had said that she didn't want to disturb their privacy and that she should leave, but Fox told her to stay, while he argued with his mother.
She knows the whole story already, so it wouldn't be a surprise.
Miss Scully politely asked if she could use their bathroom and went towards the room with such an amount of grace, even though she seemed pale and like she would faint at any minute.
She spent a good amount of time in there. Which she didn't mind, if anything, she needed to control the bleeding. She briefly wanted to go in and help her-her mother's instict- but she feared it would somehow make it worse.
After several minutes, she went out, looking more composed and far better than before. She thanked her and apologized again, and stormed out, possibly to find her partner.
After the incident, she became uneasy. Not once in his 36 years did she slap her son. Fox never gave her a reason to use such brutal forms of discipline. If he ever did something bad, he was reasonable enough to discuss the matter with his parents, or at least accept a more efficient way of punishment. Besides, she never wanted to be violent towards her children. Earning their love proved to be more difficult.
She wanted to apologize, but a phonecall seemed like a very dry way to do so. No, it wouldn't do. She needed to apologize to him face to face, dealing this issue the same way she used to do when he was younger.
They would sit down and discuss the matter. Civilized. Like adults.
She briefly wanted to also invite Miss Scully, but she quickly dismissed the thought. This was a family matter, even though she seemed to know many things about it.
This needed to be between her and her son.
At first, she thought that he needed time alone and that he wouldn't want to accept the invitation. But, when she called him and asked him, he surprised her:
"Sure mom. I'll be happy."
He sounded tired, sad.
Something awful must have happened. Again.
When he greeted her in the doorway-in a similar way he appeared the last time- only this time was quite different. The last time, he stepped inside in a frantic way, like he was in a hurry and demanded information like his life depended on it. This time, he was more quiet and had a sad smile on his face.
It was like he was mourning.
They sat down on the living room and she began with her apology, but before she went forward, he interrupted her.
"No, mom, please. Don't apologize, you haven't done something wrong-"
"I slapped you!" Teena said, louder than she wanted to. "I slapped you, Fox, and in front of a stranger! I shouldn't have behaved like that, especially when your partner was in the other room. It's not your fault. None of it is."
She hoped that he understood everything she said. Of course, he wasn't the one to blame, not for asking questions, not for searching, not even for everything that happened.
She just made him feel like that. And she would never forgive herself.
She expected him to argue with her-as he always did- but he just stayed silent. He was still considering everything she said. She hoped he understood her.
The silence that followed was heavier than she expected. She wanted to break it, to continue talking, but she couldn't find a subject interesting enough to talk about. Her mind kept replaying the last time he was there, their fight, the slap, Miss Scully's bloody nose-
"Is Miss Scully alright?" she asked. Fox looked up at her, suddenly interrupted from his thoughts and looked at her. He didn't reply, so Teena went on.
"It's just" she paused, quickly considering her next move. She didn't know if Fox knew about the nosebleed and maybe the incident would have been kept from him. It could be nothing, people get nosebleeds all the time and perhaps she was sensitive enough to let it happen. Curiosity got the best of her, eventually.
"The last time you were here, she had a nosebleed and looked quite ill. Of course, it could be nothing-"
"Scully had a nosebleed?" Fox interrupted her, looking scared and sad at the same time.
It almost made her uneasy.
"Yes and she asked to go to the bathroom"
Fox rested his arms on his knees and put them on his face. She wasn't sure if she listened right, but she was sure he said "God, no, no, not again".
The phrase alone was enough to worry her. But the way he said it, God, it almost made her cry. There was such despair in his voice, like he was completely lost and didn't know what to do.
"Fox?" she stepped closer to him and touched his shoulder. "What's wrong?"
When he looked up, he had tears in his eyes and that alone made hers water. Fox took a deep breath and looked away from her.
"Scully's sick"
Oh. She's sick.
Wait. Sick how?
As if he read her thoughts, he replied:
"She has cancer" and he almost choked the last bit. Teena dropped her hand from his shoulder and reached for his hand.
"Is it bad?"
Fox nodded and bit his lip, so as to not cry. She wanted to tell him that he was free to do so, since it was so upsetting to him. She wouldn't mind. God, she was his mother, it was her job to make everything feel better, to make him feel better. But he was so selfish. Of course he wouldn't cry in front of her.
She needed to do something. Maybe a hug was out of the question, they weren't there yet, but perhaps some encouragement would do the job.
"I'm sure everything will be alright. She's going to be fine". She wanted to say more, but quickly stopped herself, cringing as she remembered those officers who tried to comfort her when Samantha vanished. She recalls her anger, how she wanted to scream at them that nothing was alright, that her child could be dead and for that alone, she already considered herself dead.
She sounded just like them.
Just as she imagined, Fox got angry at her words.
"It's not going to be alright. Nothing is alright, and she's certainly not fine! She's ill!" he stood up as he talked and paced around the room.
"I'm sure the doctors are doing the best they can to help her"
"It's not enough! She's dying mom. And I can't stop it!"
She didn't know what to say. She couldn't say anything, she just stood there and looked at her son, trying not to cry, but speaking with such range.
"She's always says that she's fine, that everything is fine, while I'm standing there like a goddamn idiot, seeing her dying! I've been trying to find a cure that will save her, but I can't find anything, not a single thing that will help her."
"What kind of cure?" Teena interrupted.
"Her cancer's connected with her abduction."
Yes, she remembered the incident. He was desperate then, but now he was completely lost.
Fox stooped his speech and looked at her.
"I can't lose her." His voice broke.
He sat down and she followed him.
"I just can't, mom. It's more than I can bear."
For a brief moment, she got a bit angry at him. Foolish, selfish boy! His partner, a person that meant so much to him-and she suspected he loved dearly- was gravely ill and he wasn't at her bedside, telling his obvious feelings about her. But then, she remembered that anger was meaningless at this point.
She wished that she could hug him in her chest, like when she did when he was still so little and something upset him.
"There's something else" he continued.
"What is it?"
Fox moved his head negatively.
"I- I can't tell you, it's private. But, she- she doesn't know it yet and I can't bring myself to tell her."
"Why not? If it concerns her, you must-"
"I can't" he choked. "It will devaste her and I just- I can't do that to her. Not now."
She suddenly remembered her mother and his anger when he found out that she lied to her.
How the tables have turned.
"And I can't bear to tell her. I see her, lying on a hospital bed with all these tubes and machines next to her and I can't breathe. It's too much, mom, too much for both of us. I can't cause her more pain."
That poor, poor girl. She hated how his mentions to her had become, from reports filled with excitement, telling her about how great she is, to him almost sobbing, reporting her near death.
It sounded so ironic. Like a horrible joke.
"In that case" Teena started "In that case, you should wait untill she gets better. I know she will get better Fox, whether any of you believe it."
"How are you so sure?" he asked her
Love can keep people alive
She shrugged and took his hand.
"I just know."
A few minutes later, he was ready to leave. She put a hand on his shoulder again, causing him to look at her this time.
"Keep having faith Fox. She needs it. Both of you need it."
He gave her a sad smile and said his goodbyes.
When the door was closed, she was overwhelmed. Poor Miss Scully was ill and dying and with her, her son. Hopefully, not literally. But every bit of joy he got from this relationship would vanish, once she was dead. And it scared her, the thought of what Fox would become once she would breathe her last breath.
She couldn't help but feeling a bit proud at him however.
He finally understood.
Notes:
I am experiencing the so called "writers block", so I delayed the whole chapter. Here's some Cancer arc angst :)
I apologize in advance.
MLSP on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 01:24AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 10:12AM UTC
Comment Actions
Psychology101! (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 01:32AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 10:13AM UTC
Comment Actions
SarahManning on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 02:32AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 10:13AM UTC
Comment Actions
Flar_eon on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 02:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 1 Tue 23 Aug 2022 03:32PM UTC
Comment Actions
Starbuck_Lover on Chapter 1 Wed 24 Aug 2022 04:37PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 1 Wed 24 Aug 2022 07:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
Starbuck_Lover on Chapter 2 Wed 24 Aug 2022 04:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 2 Wed 24 Aug 2022 07:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
MLSP on Chapter 2 Wed 24 Aug 2022 11:31PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 2 Thu 25 Aug 2022 12:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
Sanjuktachatterjee on Chapter 2 Thu 25 Aug 2022 06:20AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 2 Thu 25 Aug 2022 09:52AM UTC
Comment Actions
Flar_eon on Chapter 2 Thu 25 Aug 2022 08:01AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 2 Thu 25 Aug 2022 09:54AM UTC
Comment Actions
twomicroscopes on Chapter 2 Fri 26 Aug 2022 03:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 2 Fri 26 Aug 2022 09:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
Starbuck_Lover on Chapter 3 Fri 02 Sep 2022 02:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 3 Fri 02 Sep 2022 09:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
Flar_eon on Chapter 3 Fri 02 Sep 2022 11:02AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 3 Fri 02 Sep 2022 02:07PM UTC
Comment Actions
ExtraterrestrialBlue on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 01:17AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 09:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
Yjimi22 on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 02:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 09:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
Starbuck_Lover on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 03:53AM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 09:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
Flar_eon on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 12:01PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 4 Fri 23 Sep 2022 04:30PM UTC
Comment Actions
Katy_KT_Katie on Chapter 4 Tue 07 Feb 2023 12:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
academicmess on Chapter 4 Sat 11 Feb 2023 11:11PM UTC
Comment Actions