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Chapter Text

Zheng Renyu's vision blurred as the back of his head made an impact with the wall. Every time that he tried to regain his focus, all he got in return was a throbbing head and weak knees. He felt someone grab his tie, and before he could process what was happening, Renyu doubled over by what felt like a kick. Followed by another one, then another one, then another one.

"Tch, so weak."

"C'mon, stand back up, you twig!"

"Great, now the bastard's not movin'."

"The fuck should we do?"

"Run, dumbass! We're fucked if someone sees this!"

The last thing that Renyu heard was a series of fading footsteps, then the world went black.

Renyu's first thought after opening his eyes was that's a lot of white.

The school infirmary is, indeed, very white. White walls, white cupboards, white desks, and white beds. The only thing that isn't white is the rows of medicine bottles lined up in the cupboards, but even then, it's just the label that's multicoloured. All the white was, quite frankly, very hard for Renyu's eyes to adjust to as the bright light only made his already throbbing headache worse. After a few minutes of struggling, Renyu managed to sit up while his head leaned against a propped-up pillow.

"Oh, you're awake! Here, let me roll down those curtains for you."

If his head didn't feel like it was about to explode, Renyu might have kneeled in front of the school nurse out of gratitude. 

"Why—" Renyu did not expect his voice to be so hoarse. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Why…am I here?"

Another voice, somehow both familiar and foreign, spoke up. "I found you lying on the ground as I was heading home. 'Figured that no normal person would be lying on the ground with bruises and blood all over them."

It was then that Renyu noticed the person on his right, sitting cross-legged on the bed with his shoes against the bed frame. Someone who he sees every day but somehow needed to look twice at before confirming his identity.

"…Li Xikan?"

"Yep, that's me!" Li Xikan said with a cheeky smile that showed off his white teeth.

Renyu's glance shifted from Li Xikan to the nurse, then back to Li Xikan again.

"Uhh…can someone—"

"Explain what the hell is going on? Sure!"

"Like I said, I found you lying on the ground in that dark alleyway. Y'know, that one where those smoking thugs always hang out? Yeah, so being the good neighbour that I am, I carried you here to the infirmary and here you are!"

Xikan laughed at Renyu's expression, which he assumed was a combination of disbelief and doubt. "What? You don't think that I beat you up or anything, right?"

Admittedly, that was Renyu's first thought. To be fair, if anyone woke up in an infirmary with injuries and a school delinquent next to them, they would think the same thing.

Xikan raised his left hand up, his right hand placed against his heart. "I swear on my grave that I, Li Xikan, have no involvement in your current physical state!"

Renyu didn't know whether to roll his eyes or be amused. Although they have some classes together, take the same path to and from school, and live next to each other, Renyu knows almost nothing about Li Xikan. This is mostly due to his mother, who had told him specifically not to talk to any delinquents. Because of that, the two of them rarely talked.

Xikan lowered his hands. "So, you remember anything?" His voice lost its teasing tone.

Renyu closed his eyes, trying to recall any memories pre-infirmary awakening. "I-I think I got dragged into the alley, and then…my head got slammed into the wall—"

"You what?" an exclamation from the nurse reminded Renyu that there is an adult in the room. "How do you feel?"

"Uhhh…alright, I guess?" The nurse raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "I-uh, I have a headache, but it feels better than before."

"Nothing else?"

Renyu shook his head, more than slightly confused as the nurse breathed a sigh of relief.

"You probably don't have a concussion, but you should still avoid physical activity until you've fully healed. Not that you can do any physical activities in that state, anyways."

"Wh-what do you mean by 'that state'?"

Xikan gave him an amused look. "Dude, just look down."

One glance and Renyu immediately understood what the nurse meant by 'that state'. White—ew, more white, Renyu thought—bandages wrapped around his right arm, his legs littered with bruises and scrapes, but the worst one had to be his abdomen. A large purple bruise stained his side, and any contact resulted in a sharp pain that shot up his side and Renyu had to bite his lip to prevent himself from making any noise.

"You're lucky that our school is, like, the only one that has a competent nurse."

Renyu nodded absentmindedly, still partially in shock.

"Well, this 'competent nurse' needs to contact your parents about this, so don't cause any mischief while I’m gone, Li Xikan!"

Xikan rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, I know."

The nurse closed the door behind her.

"Well, go on!"

"…Huh?"

"Go on with what happened!" Xikan's eyes shone with excitement, almost like a kid watching his favourite cartoon. It created a shocking contrast between what Renyu expected him to be like—cold, aggressive, merciless, maybe even a little bit sadistic. Although, Xikan is getting excited over a true story in which the storyteller gets beaten up, so Renyu is a little hesitant to completely change his opinion on Xikan.

"Right." Renyu stared blankly at the wall. "Uhhh…so, after they slammed my head against the wall—" Renyu didn't know if he should be proud of himself for how easily those words slipped out of his mouth. "—I think…someone kicked me? I heard some voices, and they ran away, I think."

Xikan nodded, his eyes closed in deep thought. "Voice pitch?"

"Uh, a bit deeper than mine, but quite…pretty, I guess? It would be a nice voice if he wasn't beating me up.”

"I see…" Xikan's lips twisted into a sly smirk, showing off his sharp canine tooth. It honestly just made him look more like a fox. "Bingo!"

"Uhhh…what?"

"I know who attacked you!"

"Is that…important?"

" Of course! " Xikan leaned onto Renyu's bed with his hands, the rest of his body still sitting on the other bed. "Since I know who gave you that nasty bruise, you can be avenged!"

"But I don't…want to be avenged?"

Xikan's sly smirk widened. He shifted his weight onto his left hand as he reached his right hand up and ruffled Renyu's hair. "This is only partially for you, 'kay? I mostly just want a reason to beat someone up."

Renyu sighed and reached his hand up to fix his dishevelled hair. "If I don't have to throw a punch, then sure, go ahead."

Before Xikan could reply, the door opened again, and the nurse stepped in.

"I think you forgot to tell me that both of your parents are away on a business trip, Zheng Renyu." If it weren't for her tone of voice, Renyu would have thought that he was in trouble. "Luckily, those wounds of yours won't take too long to heal. Come here tomorrow for some more treatment, you should still be able to go to school."

Renyu was about to argue that he bikes to school, which would be much harder with a giant bruise on his side, when Xikan spoke up. "In that case, Miss, I can take him to and from school!"

"You—what?!"

Xikan looked back at Renyu, that sly smirk still plastered onto his face. "What? Scared of sharing a bike with a delinquent?"

"Uh, yes!"

"Hmm, bummer. I guess you're stuck biking with that giant bruise of yours—"

"Okay, taking up on the offer!"

Xikan grinned. "Great! We can start today, then!"

"Wait, what?"

After being given some ointments and bandages from the nurse, Renyu somehow found himself with his arms wrapped around one of the school's most infamous delinquents' waist as he pedalled down the streets. It felt like something out of a 90's cheesy love film. Despite his earlier chipper attitude, Xikan made no effort to start a conversation during the whole bike ride, which made the whole thing that much more awkward.

Thankfully, it only took around five minutes for them to reach their destination.

It was when the bike stopped that Renyu realized that he was holding onto Xikan's waist this whole time. He felt his ears grow warm as he stared at Xikan's waist. It felt smaller than it looked, or maybe it's because Renyu expected him to be a lot more muscular.

"Just ring my doorbell tomorrow morning, 'kay?" Xikan patted Renyu's shoulder. "Oh, and you're paying for my breakfast."

"Okay—huh?!"

Xikan shrugged. "Think of it as a taxi fee," he said, showing off his canine again as he flashed a carefree grin.

Renyu stopped the urge to roll his eyes. " You're the one who suggested the whole taxi thing."

"Go ahead and bike to school on your own, then."

Renyu let out a sigh-groan-grumble as he ran his good hand through his hair. "Fine, I'll pay for your breakfast." He could already hear his mother's shouts; "YOU LET THAT DELINQUENT CHILD TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL?! AND YOU PAID BREAKFAST FOR HIM?!"

Renyu sighed, he'll just deal with that problem once he gets to it.

Chapter Text

One of the first things that Renyu learned about Li Xikan is that waking him up is like poking at a passed-out bear.

Renyu woke up with his whole body feeling like it got punched 20 times—to be fair, he probably did. After struggling with the bandages on his arm for what felt like hours, he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. Thankfully, his assailants spared his shoulders, so they had no problem supporting the weight of his absurdly heavy backpack.

Renyu locked the door behind him and reluctantly walked up to Xikan's apartment. There was a giant fox fixed on the door, along with a speech bubble that said: 'the owner is sleeping, please shut up :D' in messy handwriting. If he didn't know better, Renyu might have thought that the apartment belonged to a Chuunibyou or just a really stuck-up narcissist.

Thankfully, Renyu had heard Xikan's doorbell before, so he didn't get jump scared by the sudden blasting of Running After You with All I Have. Even with the nearly deafening doorbell, the door still didn't show any signs of opening, so Renyu rang the doorbell again, and again, and again. After his seventh ring, Xikan finally opened the door, still in pyjamas with his hair sticking out in every direction with an I-am-10-seconds-away-from-murdering-you glare which wasn't threatening at all considering he was wearing a ridiculously soft-looking hoodie with fox ears and matching pants.

Renyu held his hands up in fake surrender. "You were the one who told me to ring your doorbell."

"Ring it, not spam it…" Xikan's voice has only a fraction of the energy it had yesterday, being more of a drawl than anything else.

Renyu shrugged. "You weren't waking up."

"I'm a heavy sleeper, 'kay?"

"Yeah, I figured."

Xikan sighed and hooked his thumb towards the inside of his apartment. "Wait here while I get ready."

"In…your apartment?"

"Yes, now get in so I can close the door."

Being in a stranger's house is already awkward enough—Li Xikan still counts as a stranger, right? Renyu thought to himself—and what makes things even more awkward is that this is the same person whose waist Renyu oh-so-dearly held onto while they rode on a bicycle together.

Xikan's apartment is simpler than Renyu expected. A rack stood near the door with a pile of shoes sloppily thrown on it, beside it was another rack with slippers in an array of colours and materials. The living room has a relatively small TV and couch with clothes scattered on it, and across from the living room is an even smaller kitchen-dining room combination with a portable gas stove and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Two open doors led to what Renyu assumed to be Xikan's bedroom and washroom. Other than furniture, Xikan's apartment and Renyu's apartment look almost identical.

After standing awkwardly at the door for about a minute or so, Renyu took off his shoes and grabbed a pair of slippers. He didn't know about Xikan's rules about wearing shoes inside, so he went with the safer option.

Renyu barely sat down on the couch and checked his bandages to see if they were loose before Xikan emerged from the washroom, his hair tamed down into a manageable hairstyle and his pyjamas swapped out for their school uniform.

"You're wearing your uniform wrong," Renyu pointed out. "The shirt has to be tucked in and your sleeves can't be rolled up."

Xikan sighed as he rolled down his sleeves and started grabbing the hem of his dress shirt and tucking it beneath his pants. "Happy now?" he retorted as he showed off his fixed uniform.

Renyu gave a thumbs up and opened up his phone. "Okay, great, we still have some time to eat breakfast."

Xikan raised his eyebrows. "Wait, what time is it?"

"7:30."

" 7:30?! "

"…When do you leave for school?" Renyu asked, partially from genuine curiosity and partially because seeing a confused Li Xikan is strangely amusing.

"I wake up at 7:30…" Xikan ran a hand down his face. "I'm immediately taking a nap the moment that I'm able to."

"Good for you, let's go."

Despite Xikan's earlier complaints about waking up too early, he immediately restored some of his energy once he saw the breakfast stalls along the streets. Renyu sighed as he remembered their deal yesterday and pulled out his wallet.

Luckily, Xikan didn't buy much. Renyu watched Xikan munch on his youtiao as he occasionally took a bite of his char siu bao.

"Are you not going to have soy milk with that?" Renyu asked.

Xikan shook his head and made a disgusted face. "Nah, I hate soy milk. It has a weird aftertaste."

"Fair enough."

It's quite fascinating to watch Xikan eat, the way that Xikan seems to lose his delinquent temperament when he looks like a baby hamster with the food stuffed in his cheeks makes Renyu temporarily forget that he's eating breakfast with someone who could bash his teeth in whenever he wanted.

It was hard to tell if he didn't notice Renyu's staring or if he just didn't care, but either way, Xikan just ate his breakfast in silence until he was finished.

And now came the part that Renyu dreaded the most.

Xikan's sleep deprivation—or rather, Xikan's version of sleep deprivation—seemed to be gone by the time they walked over to his bike.

"Y'know, you were heavier than I expected," Xikan said as they both got on the bike. "I dunno if it's your uniform or whatever, but you look very scrawny for your weight."

Renyu sighed. "I'll ignore that last part. And yeah, I don't exercise that much."

"Mhm, 'figured."

And with the conversation ending, Renyu's attention was, unfortunately, drawn back to his arms and the way that they wrapped almost instinctively around Xikan's waist. It felt a little less awkward than last time considering the fact that he had time to mentally prepare himself beforehand, but Renyu still avoided eye contact with the people on the streets and kept his eyes fixated on Xikan's uniform.

Renyu's previous encounters with Xikan were no more than a quick nod or a brush of shoulders, but every time, Xikan's uniform was worn incorrectly in some way. Whether it was a rolled-up sleeve, or untucked shirt, or straight up not wearing the blazer, Renyu had never seen Xikan wear his uniform correctly before.

Well, until now, that is.

It was a stupid thing to think about, but Renyu couldn't help but wonder if Xikan just chooses not to wear the uniform correctly, considering how easily he convinced him to fix it.

He does wake up quite late in the morning after all, does he just not have time to fix it? But why can't he fix it later at school? Is he just that lazy, or is there something else involved? What if he's purposefully wearing it wrong to—

"I would appreciate it if you let go of my waist now." Xikan's voice snapped Renyu back to reality and he dropped his arms from Xikan's waist. He looked around to see that for some reason, Xikan parked his bike at the back of the school. Instead of being chained against a rack, the bike leaned against the brick wall with no form of protection.

"Wouldn't it have been easier for you to just go to the normal bike racks?"

But it seems like Xikan had something else in mind as he adjusted the bike's position. "And get a load of rumours?"

Xikan rolled his eyes once he saw Renyu's confused expression. "Imagine this: you're walking to school when you see your school's most recognizable delinquent ride on the same bike as the resident quiet kid. Not only that, but the quiet kid has bruises on his face and bandages wrapped around his arm. What would you think happened?"

"It wouldn't be that bad, right?"

"Trust me, the last thing you'd want is for some dumb rumour to spread about how we've 'been having secret affairs since the start of school' or how 'Zheng Renyu was threatened by Li Xikan to become his boyfriend!' on top of your injuries." Xikan seemed to have completely lost his usual lighthearted, sarcastic tone and expression. Renyu finds this extremely intimidating, along with how he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, looking at him with dead serious eyes and his sharp canine nowhere to be found.

Before Renyu could muster up a response, Xikan shook his head in defeat and started to walk off in the opposite direction to the main building. "Just get to class, or go to the infirmary. Just…go where you need to go. Come back here after school ends."

"At least leash your bike."

"Nah, they know it's mine, they wouldn't dare steal it."

Xikan had already walked off before Renyu could ask who the 'they' is.

"You got my text?"

Lin Mo chuckled. "No hello?"

"Did. You. Get. My. Text?" Xikan repeated, emphasizing the end of each word.

Clearly, Xikan's frustrations didn't go unnoticed, as Lin Mo gave him the sort of look that others give when they know something is wrong but they don't want to mention it in case it's a sensitive topic.

"Yes, I did," Lin Mo said with a sigh. "And yes, I can get in touch with them. But why do you need to?"

Xikan copied Lin Mo's pose, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Personal reasons."

"Yeah…I'm gonna need more of an explanation than 'personal reasons'."

With that, Xikan started to grow a little impatient. "I'll explain why after, 'kay? All you need to do is tell them that I want to fight them."

"Why are you even asking me?" Lin Mo asked while drumming his finger on his arm rhythmically. "You do realize who's in that gang, right?"

Xikan groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "Yes, which is exactly why I'm asking you to get in touch with them!"

"Is this about Bi Wenjun again?"

"Pfft, no. I'm over that already."

A look of doubt flashed across Lin Mo's face. He definitely doesn't believe him. "Mhm. just answer this: is this for yourself or for someone else?"

"Both."

Lin Mo nodded slowly. "Okay…and is that special someone the same person who somehow got you to wear your uniform properly?"

Xikan groaned and rolled his eyes. "I was forced."

"By someone with more persuasion skills than Luo Jie, it seems. Was it your special someone or something?" Lin Mo asked with a shit-eating grin. Perhaps this is what I look like to outsiders, Xikan thought.

" Please stop using 'special someone' to describe him…" Xikan groaned. Despite being only a year older, Lin Mo's vocabulary seems to be that of a 60-year-old-man's, not in a 1900's prince kind of way but more in an old man stuck in his 20s kind of way.

"Oooh, so he's a boy, huh?"

Xikan felt his cheeks grow warm as he sighed, trying not to think about the implications of Lin Mo's statement. "We're getting off track. None of this has anything to do with Bi Wenjun, or else I would've just dealt with it myself. All you need to know is that they hurt someone for no reason and now he has to deal with recovery."

"Great, that's all the information I need. I'll contact them as soon as I can, I'll tell you about it later."

"Thanks," Xikan muttered as he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Class, where else?"

Lin Mo let out an amused chuckle. "Look at you, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes."

Xikan responded with an eye roll that Lin Mo couldn't even see.

Renyu expected today to be no different from any other day, with the class ignoring his presence as he navigated through the sea of legs sticking out from desks to his seat. However, it seems that having a bandage wrapped around his hand and a plaster on his cheek is enough for the class to pay just a little bit more attention to him than usual. No one directly spoke to Renyu, just leaned in towards their peers and whispered some incoherent words in their ears while their eyes darted towards Renyu's direction as he took a seat next to Li Hao.

"What's with that plaster?" Li Hao immediately leaned in and asked with a face of concern and curiosity. Renyu often finds it hard to tell if Li Hao is genuinely concerned for him or just interested in the gossip for new film ideas.

"Got attacked by delinquents." Renyu replied. Li Hao had a concerned frown, either because of what happened to Renyu or how Renyu said those words so nonchalantly.

Before Li Hao could say anything else, a series of gasps redirected their attention to the front door. There, in the uniform that looked the same as before when they were both in his apartment, was Xikan.

Once again, Li Hao immediately started speculating. "Hey, do you think a teacher finally forced him to fix his uniform? Oooh, or maybe he got blackmailed to do it."

Renyu decided not to tell Li Hao the truth, so he just played along. "Hmm, well, it's just a uniform, I doubt anyone would go as far as blackmail."

"Maybe, but—"

Li Hao's expression morphed into horror as he turned to face the front of the room. Confused, Renyu followed Li Hao's glance to see none other than Xikan looming over them. After shifting his glance from Renyu to Li Hao then back to Renyu again, Xikan sighed and walked over to his seat. Once he was clearly out of sight, Li Hao went back to his usual gossiping self.

"Wait, was it Li Xikan?"

"Was what Li Xikan?"

Li Hao pointed toward the plaster on Renyu's left cheek. "The one who beat you up?"

Renyu stifled a laugh, mostly from how completely wrong Li Hao's guess was. "Oh god, no. I should've been more specific, I don't know who attacked me, but I do know that it 100% wasn't Li Xikan."

LI Hao raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "How are you sure that it wasn't Li Xikan?"

"I heard their voices, and they're more...macho than Li Xikan's baby-ish voice."

"Dude, you did not just—" Li Hao let out a sigh of relief as he peered behind Renyu. "Oh, thank god, he's asleep."

Renyu turned his head and sure enough, there Xikan was with his head resting on his arms and a thin line of drool dangling from the corner of his mouth. He really did take a nap the moment he was able to, Renyu thought.

"Renyu!" 

Renyu turned back to see Li Hao with a half-amused half-confused look on his face. "Is a sleeping Li Xikan that interesting to you?"

Renyu took one last glance at Xikan's serene face before shifting his full attention to Li Hao again. "You can't blame me; my family is the most anti-delinquent one I know."

Li Hao shrugged, his way of saying 'fair enough'.

Before their conversation could continue, the bell rang along with the distinct click, click, click, the sound of their Literature teacher's heels.

Throughout the class, Renyu snuck occasional glances toward Xikan. The bell didn't seem to wake him up—not surprising, considering it took Renyu seven tries with the insanely loud Running After You with All I Have doorbell to get him to wake up—and only started paying attention once his deskmate—Zuo Ye, the name was?—stabbed his hand with a pencil. After that, Xikan sat with his right hand supporting his head. His body occasionally wobbled forward, but he would notice just before his head collided with his desk and would shift his head back onto his right hand.

Despite being mildly scared of a sleep-deprived Li Xikan earlier, Renyu decided that he looks ridiculously adorable when he isn't shooting death glares.

Class ended and Renyu realized with horror that he forgot to take any notes. Guess I'll have to ask Li Hao later, he thought. Just as he turned to ask Li Hao, however, Renyu felt a sharp pain in his side and ended up sucking a breath in to prevent making any noises.

"You good?" Li Hao asked with a frown as he forced his textbooks deeper inside his backpack.

"Yeah, just a—OW!—Just a bruise," Renyu said through gritted teeth as he gathered his materials.

Li Hao didn't look particularly convinced, especially when Renyu sucked another breath in as his leg hit against one of the table legs, but he didn't say anything about it. "Okay, don't push yourself too much, you don't want to end up in a month-long hospital stay."

Renyu nodded as he slung his backpack over his shoulder, careful to not use his bandaged arm. 

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly, and at one point, Renyu almost forgot about his current situation with his injuries and whatever is going on with Li Xikan.

Almost.

Renyu felt like he was doing something bad as he snuck to the back of the school where Xikan had parked his bike, careful to avoid any students who might ask why he was in that direction. Thankfully, that wasn't too difficult considering his presence in class is close to zero.

But he didn't expect to see a boy around his height standing there, leaning against the wall as he texted someone on his phone, his brows knitted together and his lower lip captured between his teeth.

Ignoring the inner voice in his head telling him to get the hell out of there as fast as you can, Renyu slowly stepped back, his plan being to hide around the wall until the other boy—Renyu recognized him as an upperclassman—left. Luck, however, was not on Renyu's side, as his back collided with someone's chest and the back of his head hit someone's chin. Renyu scrambled for an apology, "I'm sorry" and "deepest apologies" coming out of his mouth like a broken faucet.

The person let out an annoyingly familiar laugh that sounded like it was somewhere in between a teasing chuckle and an evil cackle. "No worries, mermaid prince."

Renyu grimaced at the nickname. Somehow, hearing mermaid prince come out of Li-It's-Hard-To-Tell-If-He's-Flirting-With-Me-Or-Making-Fun-Of-Me-Xikan's mouth made a shiver run down Renyu's spine. "First, please don't call me that. Second…"

Renyu was promptly reminded of how tall Xikan is once he looked up at his face.

Instead of making another teasing comment that made Renyu want to slap his own—or better yet, Xikan's—face, Xikan just walked past and started whispering something into the upperclassman's ear. Renyu watched as the upperclassman's expression morphed from confusion to fascination to a smug grin. He decided to not invade their very clearly private conversation, so Renyu was stuck filling in the holes himself.

What if they're plotting my kidnapping? Or what if they're planning to take me to a stranded alleyway and beat me up? Shit, am I going to DIE?

Li Hao seemed to rub off on him more than he expected. Renyu shook his head to get any…extreme thought out of his mind.

Before he could react, Renyu felt a hand clasp around his own. "Zheng Renyu, right? I'm Lin Mo, pleased to meet you!"

Renyu nodded absentmindedly without moving his eyes away from his hand which was still being gripped by the upperclassman—Lin Mo, apparently. Renyu carefully manoeuvred his hand out from his grip and awkwardly wiped it on his shirt.

"Uh, pleased to meet you, upperclassman."

The upperclassman grinned wider. Although he didn't give off the same sly vibes as Xikan, Renyu still decided to keep on guard.

"I'll leave you and your friend alone now, sorry." He managed a small bow and gave a small smile before turning around and walking in the opposite direction, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

Suddenly, Renyu heard someone break down into laughter. He turned around to see Xikan bent over his bike, covering his face while he laughed so hard his face turned red.

"HAS—ANYONE—TOLD—YOU—" Xikan stopped to catch his breath. "Pfft, sorry. Has anyone told you that you're a great actor?"

Renyu felt his face grow hot. From embarrassment or shame, he doesn't know, but what he does know is that if it weren't for the fact that Xikan is a delinquent—and pretty cute when he's laughing like that, Renyu admitted grudgingly—he might've gotten a slap in the face.

"Yeah, I know. I'm fabulous." Renyu decided to take the comedic route and tried to replicate Xikan's charming-plus-a-dash-of-narcissism attitude as he flicked his hair back and gave a sarcastic grin. He gets told by Li Hao that he's a massive narcissist almost every day, so it wasn't very hard to do.

Xikan only laughed harder, to the point that the only noise that came out of his mouth were hyperventilated wheezes. Thankfully, the upperclassman who seemed to be Xikan's friend had a much more normal reaction with just a light chuckle.

"Oh yeah, Xikan!" The upperclassman turned to Xikan, who had mostly calmed down at that point. "They responded. You'll be meeting with Bi Wenjun at his vocal school right after his lesson, they specified that you need to be on time."

"You know Bi Wenjun?" Renyu asked once the upperclassman had gone away.

"You know him?"

Renyu nodded. "He goes to the same vocal school as me."

Xikan made a face that can only be described with oh fuck ; his eyes widened, his mouth slightly ajar, and he sat up straight on his bike. He stayed in that position for a while, until it looked like he got his reset button hit, and his expression returned to normal.

"Uhhh…your vocal lessons aren't on Fridays, are they…?"

"…Is that a problem?"

Xikan groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "I'll take that as a yes, then."

"Again, is that a—"

"No, that wouldn't be a problem." Xikan said with gritted teeth along with some incoherent annoyed grumble.

Although red alarms were going off in his head, Renyu decided to ignore it and walked up to Xikan's bike. "Let's go."

Instead of spacing out or staring off into space, this time Renyu gathered the courage to look at Xikan's face. Although he could only see the part of the left side of Xikan's face from his angle, he was still able to take a good look and…

…Oh, God.

Renyu had heard people talking about Xikan's face before—being that his delicate features didn't suit his bad boy delinquent persona—but he never thought anything of it. He even paid special attention to Xikan's face when they first met, and he decided that Xikan wasn't worth the hype. But maybe it's the angle, or his rare soft expression, or the way he did his makeup, but Li Xikan looked…well, breathtaking, to say the least.

Xikan's fox eyes would have given him a sharp, intimidating glance, but the softness of the rest of his face balanced it out. His white teeth would occasionally show as his pink lips lifted into a smile—not a mischievous grin or smirk, but a genuine smile—and his whole face lit up. Renyu idly remembered this morning when he rang Xikan's doorbell seven times to get him to wake up. He didn't look very different from the Xikan now, except for slightly more saturated lips and paler skin.

Is he just naturally that pretty?

Renyu mentally slapped himself as he finished that thought. Did he just call Li Xikan—someone he's prohibited from even looking at for too long, someone he was actively taught to stay away from, and most importantly, a boy—pretty?

His gaze shifted back to Xikan's face. Whatever is going on, one thing is clear: he is not staying away from Li Xikan once he figures out the deal with him—and with these…weird emotions.

Chapter Text

Renyu lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling of his room.

Usually, he would be losing sleep from an overdue assignment or getting carried away with composing songs. And although he would love to blame it on his injuries or stress from school, Renyu knew that the reason this time was something completely different.

He tried browsing through his phone, listening to music, going over his schedule for tomorrow, and even as a last-ditch effort, focusing on the stabbing pain of his injuries. But no matter what he did, his mind still went to Li Xikan and his stupidly charming smile.

Renyu sighed, shoved his face into his pillow, and pulled his covers over his head. He clicked on a random song on his iPod and turned the volume all the way up on his headphones.

Zheng Renyu ended up getting no sleep that night.

Renyu frowned at his dark circles as he brushed his hair. Within one day of meeting Li Xikan, he had already gotten himself distracted during class, stayed up past curfew, and was now currently wrapped up in some delinquent drama. He sighed, imagining the scenarios where his mother returned early and discovered the mess that her son had gotten into.

It wasn't just his mother; Renyu was annoyed with himself for being so easily influenced. He looked at himself in the mirror again, grimacing at the bruise on his left cheek. What if that bruise had come from an equal fight and not a one-sided beatdown? Would he even be in this current situation? Would he have known Li Xikan sooner?

The idea of even being involved in a fight made Renyu want to throw up, so he grudgingly grabbed the medical equipment that the nurse gave him and began to bandage his wounds. The plasters on his cheeks and abdomen were easy enough, and most of the bruises on his legs were already fading, so he skipped treatment on those areas. The hard part was, once again, the bandages around his sprained wrist that had become undone last night.

The nurse had explained that while it hadn't been a bad sprain and should heal within a few weeks, he should still wear a brace. But since there were no wrist braces at the infirmary, she recommended medical bandages as a substitute. It worked fine, but wrapping those intricate patterns using only one hand was not a fun activity. Renyu had to resort to using his teeth last time, and that resulted in his mouth tasting like adhesives until he drank enough water to wash it away.

This time, he really didn't have a better plan. Renyu was about to hold the strip of fabric between his teeth when his doorbell rang. Renyu rushed over, knocking over his first aid kit as he opened the front door. There, standing in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, was Li Xikan. Emotions flashed on Renyu's face—confusion, shock, embarrassment—but he schooled his expression into something neutral and only opened the front door wider and gestured towards the couch. "The couch is over there, I still need to bandage my arm."

Xikan yawned as he stretched out his arms. His hair looked like a dandelion with the way that it stuck up in every direction. "That's what I'm here for."

Renyu blinked in confusion. "Uh…The couch or bandages?"

Xikan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Yes, I purposefully set my alarm half an hour early and didn't even do my hair just to sit on your couch."

Renyu bit back a "You set alarms?" as he started walking back towards the bathroom. The last thing he needed was getting on the school-delinquent-slash-his-temporary-driver's bad side.

Thankfully, Li Xikan with a dandelion head wasn't nearly as flattering as yesterday with his hair blowing in the wind. Renyu only felt a tingle of warmth spread across his cheeks as he picked up the bandages that fell on the floor.

He handed the roll to Xikan and held out his wrist. "Here, don't do it too tight."

Xikan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "What kinda person do you take me for?"

Renyu only shrugged in response. Xikan wrapped the bandages around Renyu's wrist with well-practiced motions, just tight enough to support his wrist without hurting it.

He glanced up at Xikan and for a brief moment, it was like he was back on the bike. This time, with no wind blowing in his face, no special makeup, no perfect angles, just Li Xikan—his hair still an absolute mess—with a serious expression on his face while wrapping the bandages around Renyu's wrist. Yet somehow, Renyu had those same feelings as before. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears and a warm blush spread across his cheeks. He found himself staring, unable to look away.

At that moment, Xikan also happened to look up, and the two of them made eye contact. Renyu swore he stopped breathing. It was as if the world itself had stopped turning and nothing was of importance other than Xikan's shimmering eyes, that shade of brown that was so commonly found in so many of his classmates' eyes, yet Xikan's were the ones that somehow drew him in more than anything else.

Renyu blinked, forcing his attention back to the present. At this rate, they were both going to be late. "Sorry, uh…y-you're done wrapping my bandages…right?"

He barely heard Xikan's confused "Yes?" as he tried to process everything. What in the world was going on with him?

"Probably a crush or something," Li Hao commented nonchalantly as he listened to Renyu rant about what happened that morning.

"Need I repeat that this is a boy?! I've never —wait what?" Renyu spluttered indignantly.

Li Hao paused while drinking his milk and gave Renyu a quick glance and shrug. "Nothing. Go on."

"No no, but—are you suggesting that I'm in love with —"

"Oh no, I'm not suggesting anything at all. Please, continue!"

Renyu ignored Huang Enyu and Xu Zhaohao's snickers, even though he could feel the heat crawling up the back of his neck. "Fine, fine. But I've never , in my entire four years of liking guys, ever had that happen. It was like—everything was so sparkly and time just stopped working ."

"What does liking guys have to do with it?" Enyu asked, taking a bite of his banana before continuing, his voice muffled by the food in his mouth, "it just sounds like a regular crush to me. It's not like you've never liked anyone. I can list off every time that you've ranted about some pretty girl or handsome guy—"

"This is different!" Renyu protested. He looked at his friends—other than Li Hao the Ultimate Gossiper, the rest of them weren't the type to spread rumours. Xu Zhaohao rarely spoke to anyone in the first place, Li Chenxu rarely talked about anything other than music and his only other friends were another group of secluded music artists, Huang Enyu had already kept many of Renyu's secrets to this day, and Huang Junrong's non-confrontational nature meant that gossiping was close to impossible for him. Silently hoping that Xikan wouldn't somehow find out, Renyu sighed and turned to Li Hao. "You can't tell anyone else this, got it?"

Offended, Li Hao made a face and pointed to Enyu. "Shouldn't you be more worried about Mr. I'm-way-too-brutally-honest-for-my-own-good?"

Enyu merely raised an eyebrow in return. "I'm sorry, but is Mr. I'm-way-too-brutally-honest-for-my-own-good known for being the class's gossip queen?" he shot back.

Li Hao looked as if he was about to argue, but before he could say anything, Chenxu quickly shoved a piece of bread in his mouth. Renyu turned back to the rest of the group, ignoring Li Hao's hacking coughs. "So yeah, do not , under any circumstances, tell anyone about this, okay?" Renyu waited until he got affirmations from all of his friends—even Li Hao, who held a thumbs up above the table as he doubled over from coughing. "Alright, so…"

Watching their expressions turn from anticipation to surprise to horror to relief was quite funny, Renyu had to admit. Once he finished explaining his whole situation, everyone else—save for Li Hao, who had stopped coughing on the floor at that point and was staring at him with his I-have-a-new-movie-idea look—seemed to be lost for words.

After a few moments of silence, Junrong spoke up. "You're in a…sticky situation…" He took a bite of his salad. Renyu never understood how Junrong ate those tasteless leaves without throwing up. "Don't your parents like—despise Li Xikan?"

Renyu shrugged, picking at his plate of unrecognizable mush. "Not necessarily Li Xikan specifically, just…delinquents in general. They seem to think that I'll start getting my arms tattooed and smoking on the rooftop if I ever dare speak to one."

Zhaohao snorted. "Well, here you are, literally on the same bike as Li Xikan, and no tattoos or cigarettes—that we know of."

Renyu sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, no tattoos or cigarettes."

"See? If you just explain that to them—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," Renyu interrupted, "have you seen my parents?" Zhaohao slowly shook his head. "Oh, right. Thing is, they're super stubborn. It took me months just to convince them to buy me a shirt just because it had a skull on it."

Chenxu nodded in agreement. "My parents are similar."

"My point is, they'll kill me if they find out. No negotiations, no explanations, nothing."

Li Hao took a sip from his milk carton. "So…what does this have to do with your crush?"

" It's not a crush. "

"Mhm, suuure…" Enyu muttered.

"Look, it's more of an…infatuation. I'm simply intrigued by Li Xikan." Even Renyu couldn't quite believe what he had just said. He sighed and dragged a hand down his face. "Look, guys. Me and Li Xikan have only been talking for two days—three, if you count today. Whatever this is, it's definitely not a crush—at least not yet." Renyu quickly added once he saw Li Hao and Enyu's skeptical expressions.

"Alright, last question," Enyu said, his mouth once again full of fruit.

"Whatever it is, could you please swallow the food in your mouth first?" Zhaohao pleaded, covering his ears with his hands.

Enyu reluctantly swallowed before continuing, almost choking on the food. "Let's say you do have a crush on Li Xikan, what would you do then?"

"I—" Renyu paused. Enyu had a point; what would he do if he ends up developing a crush on Xikan? "I guess I'll just…keep it a secret until my injuries heal. We won't need to talk afterwards anyways, so…" Renyu shrugged.

Based on their disapproving expressions, Renyu knew that he'd said the wrong thing. But before Li Hao could burst into an hour-long rant, Renyu quickly changed the subject. "So, are you guys still up for practice after school today?"

"Ack, sorry, I have play auditions to supervise."

"I just got a gig at that livehouse I was talking about, so I'll be performing all afternoon. Sorry…"

"Uh, Junhao asked for us to meet up today. I can decline if you want, but since Li Hao and Enyu already can't come…"

Renyu sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's fine, Chenxu. You can go to your meetup. Congrats on your gig, Enyu." Enyu gave a sympathetic smile. "We'll just…meet up at my place tomorrow at three?"

Everyone agreed, and Renyu let out a sigh of relief before taking a bite of the mush in front of him. He made a face and pushed the plate away, making a mental note to bring his own lunch next time.

Renyu was greeted by an empty alleyway. He sighed and leaned against the wall next to Xikan's bike. An amused grin spread across his face once he looked down at himself. I look just like a delinquent now… he thought.

Xikan soon arrived, his hair visibly dishevelled and his uniform covered in dirt. Upon closer inspection, Renyu noticed a small cut just below Xikan's right eye. Renyu opened his mouth to ask what happened, only to remember that he probably just got into another fight.

"Hey," Xikan wheezed, his voice raspy and out of breath as if he just ran a marathon. "C'mon, let's go."

"Wait, what? What happened?" Before he could figure out what was going on, Renyu was being dragged onto the bike. Xikan positioned the two of them properly before grabbing Renyu's arms and wrapping them around his waist.

"I'll explain later, 'kay? Just hold on and don't fall off."

Still confused but sensing the urgency of the situation, Renyu tightened his grip around Xikan's waist. For the fourth time this week, Xikan pedalled off with Renyu awkwardly sitting in the seat behind him. This time, Renyu made sure to keep his gaze anywhere but at Xikan's face, partially from what happened yesterday and partially because he couldn't bear looking at his dirty and bruised face.

He knew all too well how much those bruises could hurt.

Then again, Xikan did this daily, right? So he was probably used to it.

Renyu shook his head, trying to push all thoughts about Xikan out of his mind as he focused on his surroundings. Xikan seemed to have taken a detour, as the streets looked mostly unfamiliar.

After a few more minutes, however, Renyu still couldn't figure out where they were headed and decided to ask the guy who would presumably have the answers. "Hey, where are we going?"

"To your vocal school."

"To my—"

"What, didn't you say that you have vocal lessons on Fridays?"

"You remember that?" Renyu didn't know if he should be scared or impressed that Xikan managed to remember a detail that he only mentioned once in passing.

"Well, I have some business here as well, so…" Xikan trailed off and shrugged as well as one could while riding a bike. "Might as well kill two birds with one stone."

"Uh huh, you have that…meeting with Bi Wenjun, right?"

Xikan visibly tensed up at the mention of Bi Wenjun's name. "That's—yeah, sure. Meeting…"

Renyu frowned. Once again, he found himself debating over whether or not he should press Xikan for details. It seemed like a sensitive topic, but on the other hand, he had a gut feeling that this meeting was related to him somehow…

Renyu shook his head. No, Li Xikan had a life outside of him, and not everything was about him. If the other boy hadn't explained anything yet, then he shouldn't pry any further.

The streets were starting to look familiar. Once the cyan building came into view, Renyu knew that Xikan wasn't joking about dropping him off at his vocal school. Xikan stopped the bike at a bike rack and fished a bike leash out of his backpack, securing his bike to the rack.

"So you do have a leash."

"Yep."

"And you don't use it at school because…?"

Xikan shrugged. "Don't feel like it."

Renyu fought the urge to sigh and roll his eyes. Xikan reminded him of Enyu in the way that every conversation that they have seemed to go nowhere. "Fair enough."

It wasn't until Xikan finished leashing his bike and started walking towards the vocal school that Renyu realized that he still hadn't been given an explanation about the whole ordeal back at school. "Hey, wait!"

Xikan turned around and crossed his arms over his head, leaning in a position that seemed very uncomfortable, at least to Renyu. "What?"

"Aren't you going to explain why you were covered in dirt and out of breath?"

Xikan's smile froze. "Uh, yeah, about that…I just…just got into a fight, that's all!"

Renyu shot him a disbelieving look. Seriously? Did Xikan take him for an idiot? Renyu weighed his options: On one hand, he really needed to respect other people's boundaries. But on the other hand, Xikan was definitely hiding something, and if it had something to do with him, then he deserved to know, right?

Well, here goes nothing , Renyu thought as he decided to take the risk and press Xikan for details. "Why?"

"Uh," Xikan's hands dropped, and he stood in a smaller, almost timid stance with his shoulders slouched and his hands in his pockets, "first, promise you won't get mad or anything like that?"

"Why would I do that?" Renyu was definitely curious now. What on earth could have happened that would make him mad at Li Xikan , of all people?

Xikan shrugged. "Just promise?"

"I promise," he stated solemnly. Now Renyu was definitely certain that he was the cause of whatever was going on, and he wasn't sure that he liked it.

"Okay, so some people were saying some…stuff about you, and I guess I got a little mad and, well…" Xikan gestured to his face. "No injuries, which is great, but this damn dirt just won't come off. Also had to run away as fast as possible 'cause they looked furious ."

"So…some people were shit-talking me and—" Xikan gasped. "—what?"

"You swore !"

"…And?"

Xikan shook his head and grinned in amusement. "Nah, I just imagined you to be the 'perfect goody-two-shoes,' so swearing? Couldn't imagine you doing it."

"Well, I try to be the…er, 'perfect goody-two-shoes', but I can't be perfect all of the time." He gestured to Xikan and his uneven collar. "I mean, I'm here with you , which, y'know, is…eh."

Xikan narrowed his eyes, looking genuinely offended for a moment before a teasing smile broke out on his face. "And, hanging out with me is eh , because…?"

Renyu shrugged, feeling his ears heat up slightly from embarrassment. "Uh, it's a long story, but I'm pretty sure that the resident good boy does not hang out with someone who gets into fights for minor issues."

" Minor issues?! " Xikan exclaimed. "They were calling you a weak sissy , Renyu! How is that a minor issue ?"

Renyu only shrugged in response and stared at the ground for a moment before lifting his head and meeting Xikan's gaze levelly."Well, we're about as close as strangers, right? Is your moral code really strong enough that you'd be willing to get dirt all over your face just because someone who rode on your bike four times got called something that's true?"

He'd said the wrong thing. Again.

Renyu watched as Xikan's expression shuttered into something akin to…disappointment? He looked like a lost puppy, and—if he hadn't been the cause of this expression—Renyu would find it adorable. But knowing that it was from what he had said, it was a lot harder to find Xikan's expression cute. He wasn't sure why Xikan would be disappointed; after all, it's not like the bullies were wrong. Still, seeing Xikan with that expression made him feel guilty, all of a sudden.

Renyu bit his bottom lip. "Look, I'm sor—"

"It's fine, we can continue this later. I gotta hurry or else I'll be late again. I dunno when your lesson starts, so just do whatever you want, just—don't follow me, please." And with that, Xikan turned and headed up to the vocal school. After a moment of thought, Renyu sighed and followed behind him.

Even after attending here for three years, Renyu still couldn't help but wince every time he heard the screaming children in the supposedly soundproofed rooms. Renyu checked the time as he entered the building…only to inwardly groan when he realized he still had half an hour until his lesson. With nothing else better to do, he wandered the halls until the noise from the surrounding practice rooms became distant. He found a corridor that was mostly empty and immediately leaned back against the wall and shut his eyes, trying to recollect his thoughts and sort out the whirlwind of emotions inside him.

He was torn between apologizing to Xikan, which would allow things to return to normal—or some semblance of normalcy, and continuing to cross boundaries, which would damage their already rocky friendship even further.

And that was part of the problem, wasn't it? Did he actually consider Xikan a friend? Renyu cringed as he remembered what he called the boy earlier, about as close as strangers . Had he really meant that? Renyu let out a deep breath and slid down to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest. He had messed up big time, and even worse, he didn't even know where to begin to fix it.

"Renyu?" A familiar voice snapped Renyu out of his thoughts. "Isn't your lesson until 4:30? And why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Oh, hey, Wenjun." Renyu had to tilt his head all the way up to address the newcomer. He, unfortunately, had not been blessed with good height genes, which meant he was constantly having to look up while speaking to his peers. It was worse, of course, when he was sitting down and they were standing—as was the case now. Bi Wenjun smiled and held out a hand to help him up, which he gratefully accepted.

"Uh, I couldn't bike here because—" Renyu gestured to his bandaged wrist, "—pretty obvious reasons. And my, er, lift dropped me off early so…now I'm here."

Wenjun nodded and glanced toward Renyu's wrist with a look of concern. "And those injuries, if you don't mind me asking, are from…?"

Renyu shrugged, trying to make his voice sound as indifferent as possible. "It's…a long story."

"Ah, ok. Sorry for asking."

"No no, it's fine, really."

Wenjun nodded again before glancing down the hallway as if he was trying to find someone. Renyu could guess who but didn't say anything.

"Hey, have you seen a tall, skinny boy around our age with silver hair?" Wenjun asked. He was still looking down the hallway, where students were starting to pour out of the classrooms after finishing class. Renyu knew that he was talking about Xikan. But considering that one, Xikan didn't technically have silver hair right now—it was a dark chestnut brown that had hints of red when the sun hit it just right—and two, he didn't actually know where Xikan was, Renyu opted for the easier option and slowly shook his head. "Maybe check the practice rooms?"

Wenjun was about to open his mouth to respond, but then suddenly shook his head and smiled. "Ah, never mind. I found him. Thanks, Renyu."

"No problem," Renyu responded as he watched Wenjun saunter down the hallway and enter one of the practice rooms. He hadn't even seen Xikan enter the room, though that might have been because he'd been too busy moping. 

Renyu watched as Wenjun entered the practice room. He knew he probably shouldn't do what he was thinking about doing, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Why had Xikan seemed so nervous upon hearing Wenjun's name? And why did he need to meet with Wenjun in the first place? He leaned and pressed his ear against the door. For once, the school's lack of complete soundproofing had its uses.

"You dyed your hair." Surprise coloured Wenjun's tone. Renyu had guessed from their earlier conversation that his friend hadn't known about the new hair colour. He was right. 

"Oh, wonderful observation! Next, you'll say that I'm not happy to have to talk to you again !" Xikan wasn't shouting, but the sarcasm and underlying scorn in his tone were apparent. Renyu fought back a shudder. He was grateful that his interactions with the other boy had been civil up to this point. 

"You're the one who wanted to meet up, Xikan." Wenjun's voice was steady as if he was used to Xikan's angry outbursts. Renyu had to admit, he was curious as to how the two knew each other. They seemed like fire and ice.

"I wanted to meet up with someone from your gang, not you specifically."

"For the last time, it's not a gang."

Xikan huffed. "Fine, the details aren't important. So, why did your totally-not-a-gang attack someone completely unrelated to whatever the fuck you guys do?"

"…Who are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Bi Wenjun. You know very well who I'm talking about!"

 Renyu swallowed. So his suspicions were confirmed—this entire meeting was about him. Though judging by Wenjun's confusion, his friend didn't seem to know that at the moment.

"I seriously don't."

Xikan groaned in exasperation and Renyu heard the distinct sound of a slap. "Fine, does the name ‘Zheng Renyu' ring a bell?"

"…What does Zheng Renyu have to—" Wenjun stopped and Renyu could almost see the gears turning in his head. He grimaced. He hoped Wenjun wouldn't be too mad at him later for not telling the entire story behind the injuries.

"Oh. So those injuries were from—"

"Oh, so you already knew."

"No, I just saw Renyu before coming here. He was sitting in a corner with a plaster on his face and these bandages around his wrist. I was wondering how he got those injuries, since I never thought of him as the athletic type…"

"I dunno why your underlings would—"

"I don't have 'underlings', Xikan. How many times must I tell you this?" Wenjun sounded frustrated, and there was also an undercurrent of anger in his voice that made Renyu flinch. It was the first time he'd heard the other boy sound this upset. Judging by his tone, this clearly wasn't the first time such a conversation had taken place.

"Fine, I dunno why your friends would attack Renyu, but they did. Now, if you know anything, better say it now."

"Look, I didn't know anything about any of this." There was a short pause. "Wait, what makes you think that it was my friends who attacked Renyu?"

" Well , I saw Zhu Zhengting with some of his underlings—sorry, friends —hanging 'round the alleyways near my school, and Luo Jie said that he saw some of them running away, and Renyu said that one of the guys who beat him up had a voice that was deeper than his and sounded pretty."

"That could be anyone…"

"Look at the situation, Bi Wenjun! If you're so certain that your friends aren't the cause of this, then ask them directly!" Xikan sounded truly angry now, and Renyu wondered if he needed to barge in and intervene before an actual fight broke out between the two. Though given his current state, he wasn't sure he'd be able to actually stop them.

"Okay, fine. But what does this have to do with you demanding a fight?"

"Call it revenge."

"Revenge. For what?"

"Renyu, what else?"

And also because he wants to beat some people up, Renyu thought, remembering what Xikan told him that day in the infirmary.

"And is Renyu really worth it? You know how aggressive Zhengting can get, especially if someone challenges him first."

"What, jealous? Next you're gonna cry me a river and lament about how I should give you another chance again?" Renyu couldn't see Xikan's face, but he could already picture the sneer that accompanied the words. He willed himself to move—after all, the conversation had taken a personal turn and he did not need to be around to hear that, much less get caught—but it was as if his legs had become iron and he found himself rooted to the spot.

"That was…a long time ago, Xikan. I just want to keep you safe." Wenjun's voice had gone soft and Renyu started to suspect he knew exactly what sort of relationship these two had.

Renyu heard a faint sigh. "Fine, I won't directly challenge Zhengting, yet . But you will ask your 'friends' about Renyu. If they were behind it, then I don't give a shit if I get seriously hurt, I will challenge them to a fight. Also, all you need to know about my relationship with Renyu is that if you or anyone else hurts him ever again, I will make you regret it."

Renyu felt a chill crawl down his spine from the threat. He had heard of Xikan's bloodthirsty side from Li Hao before, but seeing—or rather, hearing—it in person reminded Renyu of the sort of person he really is. 

However, the confusion from before returned, throwing his thoughts and emotions into a maelstrom once again. Li Xikan had just threatened someone on his behalf. And he was…what, exactly? A neighbour? A classmate? A stranger, according to Renyu himself not even an hour ago. Someone that Xikan just so happened to save after being beaten up. So why did Xikan feel the need to defend him? To Renyu's knowledge, the delinquent had never done that for anyone else. So what made him so special?

"But you two aren't dating?" Wenjun asked, his voice level, but there was something else that Renyu couldn't identify. Also…what? Where had that question even come from?

Renyu felt his face heat up as he remembered yesterday afternoon when he had his arms wrapped around Xikan's waist and—

"What does that have to do with anything?" Xikan's annoyed tone cut Renyu from his thoughts and he quickly directed the focus back to the conversation at hand.

"Just answer me, are you dating or not?" Wenjun sounded impatient, though Renyu had no idea why. He and Xikan weren't dating, so why did it matter so much?

There was a slight pause before Xikan answered. "Fine, we're not dating. Happy?"

"…I'll ask Zhengting tomorrow."

"Good, and tell Lin Mo his answer."

"Hu Wenxuan's boyfriend? It would be easier if I directly contacted you."

"I'm not unblocking you. At least, not until you can get yourself sorted out first."

Wenjun sighed. "Fair enough. Is that all?"

"For now, yes."

Renyu quickly scurried away from the door, straightening his uniform as he pointedly tried to ignore the heat that was making its way from the back of his neck to his ears. Xikan and Wenjun both walked out of the room, the latter giving a quick nod in Renyu's direction before turning around and nearly running out of the school. Renyu turned to Xikan, who looked just as awkward as Renyu felt.

"I'll wait outside for you. Just walk out once you're done, I won't be too far."

"O—" Xikan was already gone before Renyu could finish his sentence. "—kay."

The lesson felt like an eternity.

As soon as the class was dismissed, Renyu hastily threw his backpack over his shoulder, momentarily forgetting that he had accidentally used his injured wrist to do so. He bit back a hiss of pain and hurried out of the classroom, weaving between the other students milling about the hallways. Exiting the building, he looked around and found Xikan sitting on the sidewalk next to his bike, drinking what seemed to be mango bubble tea while texting someone on his phone. Renyu awkwardly squatted down next to him, making sure not to get his uniform dirty.

Xikan glanced up from his phone. "Oh, you're done." He pulled out a plastic bag from his other side and handed it to Renyu. "I got you some food. I dunno what you like so sorry if it's not your favourite."

Suddenly aware of how hungry he was, Renyu took the bag from Xikan's hands and peered inside. "Oh no, it's fine. I-uh…I didn't have dinner planned, so this…this is great, actually."

The awkward silence between them was stifling, despite the fact that they were surrounded by noise—the cars from the nearby streets, the chatter of the students who were still coming out of the school, and even the chirping of the birds could still be heard. Renyu slowly chewed on the food that Xikan had bought for him—a couple of scallion pancakes and a bag of soy milk—while occasionally sneaking glances at the person sitting next to him, who looked equally as awkward as he sipped his bubble tea while staring off into space.

Finally, Renyu couldn't stand the tension any longer and cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry for eavesdropping earlier…"

Xikan glanced at him and shrugged. "It's—it's fine. I probably would've done the same in your place, honestly." He sounded tired as if the argument with Wenjun earlier had drained all of his energy; Renyu wouldn't have been surprised if it had. There was a listlessness to him now that was different from the sleepiness he had exhibited in the morning, and the light that had been in his eyes earlier had dimmed. Renyu couldn't help but feel sorry for him—Li Xikan seemed like a "bad boy" on the outside, but was he really all that different from everyone else? It was a stark reminder that Xikan was, in fact, a high school student just like him.

Xikan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "So…I bet you're dying for an explanation, huh?" He continued without waiting for Renyu's response, "so, I was trying to schedule a confrontation with the gang that beat you up. But as you could probably tell, Bi Wenjun was being more than a little annoying…"

"Oh, speaking of Wenjun," Screw it, Renyu thought. Since Xikan was already explaining everything, he might as well ask for details, "is there any reason you're so, uh…negative about him?"

Xikan scoffed and rolled his eyes, his normal demeanour returning for a slight moment. "We dated for a few months, and he wouldn't stop pestering me after I broke up with him. Thankfully, he's stopped now, but he thinks that a simple apology is enough to make up for everything."

"He—" Renyu stopped himself from defending Wenjun. After all, he didn't know the circumstances surrounding the situation. "That's odd, Wenjun has never struck me as the stalker type."

"Nah, he's usually all quiet and idiotic, like a foolish beauty." Xikan let out an amused snort and continued, "but for some reason he just wouldn't leave me alone! It was always 'Xikan, let's get back together!' and 'Xikan, don't you miss me?' " Now it was Renyu's turn to laugh—Xikan had imitated Wenjun's thick voice using falsetto. The weird combination made him sound like a chipmunk that was going through puberty. "There was this time when he tailed me all the way back to my apartment. My apartment! "

After an aggressive sip of his bubble tea which resulted in him almost choking on a tapioca pearl, Xikan continued in a calmer tone. "Anyways, long-story-short, I almost had to get a restraining order. Thankfully, he stopped being a creep, although he still wants me to unblock him on Wechat—which I'm not doing until he understands that 'I'm sorry!' is not enough."

 Well. Renyu wasn't sure what to say after all that. He hummed noncommittally and shifted slightly closer to Xikan, who had gone back to drinking his boba for the moment. He reached out and awkwardly placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "I'm sure he'll come around one day."

Surprisingly, Xikan didn't try to shrug off his hand, and maybe Renyu was imagining things, but Xikan seemed to shift closer to him as well. "Yeah, I hope so."

"Also, uh, if you don't mind me asking…who's this 'Zhu Zhengting?' "

"Oh, Zhu Zhengting…" Xikan sighed, set down his boba, and dragged a hand down his face before explaining."We used to be friends—we went to middle school together, but he became this…bossy, narcissistic bitch. Apparently he went to a shitty school in Korea for two years, and once he returned, he became…well, a delinquent. Even started influencing others with his delinquency."

Renyu hesitated before asking carefully, "By any chance, would one of those people happen to be you ?" 

"Oh no, I'm only a delinquent," Xikan air-quoted the word 'delinquent,' "because I get into fights and occasionally skip class. Even then it's only when other people start it or when Lao-Duan or Luo Jie needs a third person to fight with."

"And may I ask how you got into this whole…fighting thing?"

Xikan smiled, his canine teeth just barely peeking out. " That's a story that I'll tell later."

Renyu shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Anyways, I guess I kinda lied when I said that I knew who your attacker was from voice alone. See, my friend Luo Jie also knew Zhengting—not as well as me, but he still knew him—and he saw him with some other scrawny dudes hanging around the school earlier. He warned me about it, and I specifically took a detour so I could bump into him. But there was some issue with one of the dance team members and…well, you know the rest."

Renyu nodded slowly as he tried to process everything that Xikan had told him"So…you know my attacker is Zhu Zhengting and his underlings—"

"Thank you!" Xikan threw his hands up in the air and grinned, which only confused Renyu even more.

"…What?"

Xikan shrugged and replied, "Nah, it's just that Wenjun insists that their scrawny middle-school underlings are his 'friends.' I don't buy it."

"Uh, sure." Renyu forced himself to think about what he was trying to say before Xikan interrupted and not on the boy's dazzling grin, "So this 'Zhu Zhengting' and his underlings attacked me for…some reason…and now you want revenge or something?"

"To put it simply, yes," Xikan said. "But also, I want a reason to talk to Zhengting again and ask him why the hell he's like this! "

Renyu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I've had something similar happen, actually…" he trailed off, unsure if he should actually tell Xikan this story. But Xikan had already been willing to share so much about his own former friends; shouldn't he return the favour? Besides, for some inexplicable reason, Renyu trusted him. So he took a deep breath and continued.

"I had this friend, Li Zaixi, who essentially became kind of a lazy, incompetent leader after he got one too many compliments and his self-confidence was blown way out of proportion. I mean—he's changed now, but I still sometimes find it hard to believe that the Li Zaixi that I currently produce songs with is the same Li Zaixi whose negligence made me almost fail a music assignment…"

Xikan nodded and leaned his head back against the wall. "Yeah," he murmured, "I mean, people change, but sometimes it's not for the better."

Realizing that the mood had shifted to an unnervingly serious tone, Xikan stood up and tossed the now-empty cup in a nearby trash can. "Well, it felt nice to talk about this sorta stuff. Ready to head back now?"

Renyu still had one remaining pancake, but he no longer had the appetite to finish it. He carefully wrapped the bag around the remaining pancake and placed it into his backpack and slung the bag over his shoulder, more gently than he had previously. He stood up, brushed the dirt from his uniform and gave Xikan a nod. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"That night market sure was pretty, huh?"

Renyu, who had been deep in thought over the day's events, was startled at the sound of Xikan's voice. For Xikan to strike up a conversation was unusual, since their bike rides were usually silent other than the occasional comment about their classes. He never even talked about himself at all, so a conversation? Renyu wondered if he'd accidentally landed in an alternate universe.

"Oh. Yeah, I don't go to the night markets very often, but when I do, the only other thing I like— besides the food—is all the different lights and stuff. They're bright, but not overwhelmingly so? And the vendors know how to complement the colours well."

"I know, right? You'd think that they'd just combine into some weird, gross shade of brown, but nope!" From the corner of his eye, Renyu could see Xikan's grin through the helmet. For the second time that day, the sight made something in his chest tighten.

Renyu found himself chuckling. "That's not how colour theory works."

"Yeah yeah, I know. The additive colour wheel combines to make white or whatever…" Xikan took one hand off the handlebars and waved it dismissively, even as he took a right turn. Renyu resisted the urge to chastise him and only shook his head.

"Shouldn't you have learned this in visual arts?"

"Nah. Mr. Guo's literature lectures are interesting, but he's not a good visual arts teacher, lemme tell you that. I fall asleep every time , without fail."

"Well, he's definitely very—" Renyu tried to think of the right word to describe their instructor "—creative."

Xikan snorted. " 'Creative.' Sure, that's one way to put it."

"Well, I might be a bit biased. I'm tutoring this first-year student who Mr. Guo loves and I think that love might have leaked over to me a little."

"Oh, Xu Zhenxuan. I've heard of him. He's…something."

"He's…not the brightest, but he's a fast learner, so teaching him isn't infuriating ."

Xikan suddenly giggled, which made Renyu's mouth drop open in surprise. Had he heard that correctly? Did Li Xikan, of all people, just giggle ?

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just trying to imagine you as a strict teacher, yelling at him."

Renyu was about to argue with him—he was a good teacher, thank you very much— but paused when he pictured the scenario himself. He had to admit, it did make quite a funny scene. One giggle became two, and soon the two of them were laughing so hard that it became a bit hard to breathe and tears were coming out of their eyes. Xikan had to stop the bike momentarily to prevent them from getting into an accident. 

After they'd both settled down, it wasn't long before they arrived at their shared apartment building. Renyu sighed wistfully. In truth, a part of him wished the ride was longer—he actually enjoyed talking with Xikan, no matter what the subject of the conversation was. 

He was so lost in thought that he hadn't realized that he had yet to get off the bike. Or let go of Xikan's waist.

"Uh, Renyu…?" Xikan's voice sounded incredibly embarrassed. "You can uhh, let go of my waist now."

For the second time that evening, Xikan's voice startled Renyu out of his thoughts and he immediately dropped his arms from his neighbour's waist and scrambled off the bike. 

"Oh! Shoot, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Renyu muttered. He felt his body shrinking from embarrassment and his face felt like it was on fire .

Even in the poorly illuminated area, Xikan's ears were visibly red, all the way from the tips to the ear lobes—the only evidence of his embarrassment.

"Wow, I know I have a pretty great physique, but I didn't know you like it that much," he teased.

"I—oh god, I'm so sorry…" Renyu covered his face with his hands. "Uh, I'll just get going. Yeah, I have—uh—homework to do."

Without waiting for a response, Renyu bolted as fast as he could into the apartment and into the nearest elevator. He jabbed furiously at the button to close the doors until the door finally closed. It wasn't until the elevator reached his floor that Renyu realized that Xikan had his uniform on with no missing blazer or rolled-up sleeves.

Chapter Text

To the two people still tuning in to this series, hello!!

So, it's been a while since I last updated. A lot has happened since then, I fell down another survival show rabbit hole for one, and I lost interest in this series.

Many events led up to this point, including writer's block, a messy plot, and just general lack of motivation to work on this series. I still love yzyl, s.k.y, and snzm with all of my heart and I might pop back here to write some more snzm works if I suddenly gain motivation, but if I'm gonna be completely honest, I don't think I will. Snzm ended three years ago now, and it's been months since s.k.y has disbanded. I hate to say this, but I've moved on. I might write something for s.k.y's one year disbandment anniversary, but again, it's unlikely.

I hate to do this, especially since I despise this as a fanfic reader, but I'm most likely going to discontinue this series. If there's a 0.000001% chance that I do come back to this series, there won't be any beta editing, just me getting my thought down on-page. (sorry @PureForestGuardian but I think it's the best option so I don't accidentally devoid myself of motivation again, again I'm truly sorry :/)

I'm truly sorry if anyone (does anyone even read this fic lmao) was excited for future chapters, but even if I continued writing, I don't think that it would be very high-quality.

With that being said, writing snzm fics in 2022 and having more than 2 hits on any of my works was already a huge achievement, so I truly thank every person who had read and enjoyed my snzm works. And if anyone (for any reason) wants to complete this series themselves, you're more than welcome to!

Anyways, feel free to check out my other pseud (@fall3nfløwer) if you're curious to see what type of fics I'm writing now!

Have a good day/night and remember to stay hydrated! 
- Junyu, he/him, professional procrastinator and rabbit hole faller