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Chapter Text

"Hey, husband."

Wang Yibo lit up, unable to control his grin. Xiao Zhan rarely called him on the phone during the day, especially while filming. Then he bit his lip. Hopefully this wasn't distressing news. He shut the door to his shared office. Zhu Chen was downstairs teaching right now so he had it to himself. "Hi, Zhan-ge. Aren't you filming today?"

"Yeah, I've got a few minutes. I got an interesting letter today. Do you have a minute?" Yibo could hear the usual production noises in the background. He'd never visited Xiao Zhan on set; that wasn't allowed by his team since they did a very poor job of hiding their relationship in public, but they did communicate in some way, every day while apart. He could already picture Xiao Zhan, sitting in an empty corner, hand over his face to avoid lip readers.

"My next class starts in twenty, I'm good. Still in the office. What's the letter about?"

"You know how the government has been pushing manned space flights, right?"

"I do listen to the news, Zhan-ge," Yeah, Wang Yibo already knew he wasn't going to like this. But he would be a supportive pseudo husband. Pseudo in the sense that they couldn't officially marry in China, but both of them considered themselves married. That's all that mattered.

"I've been asked to help."

"Help, how? You're not an astronaut, or a scientist."

"I'm aware," Xiao Zhan said, laughing. "Are you going to guess?"

"They want you to go talk to kids in school and encourage them to take science or math classes?"

"Haven't been asked that yet."

"They want to make a promotional movie and you'll be the star?"

"Sort of," Xiao Zhan hedged.

"You are not going into space, Xiao Zhan," Wang Yibo hissed. "That's not safe." When he didn't reply, Yibo bit his tongue. This was not good. "Xiao Zhan, talk to me," Yibo demanded, letting his husband know just how serious he was. He'd made a promise to never call him anything but Zhan-ge in public or over the phone as a safety precaution.

"I can't exactly turn down a personalized request from our government, can I?"

"You have a smart team. Find a way. Besides, you're too tall."

"What?"

"Astronauts need to be between 160 and 172 centimeters. You're 183. You're too tall for a space ship."

"How do you know that?"

"I wanted to be an astronaut once upon a time."

"You've wanted to be a dancer since you were nine, Wang Yibo. And you started that career when you were ten. When exactly did you decide you couldn't be an astronaut?" Leave it to Xiao Zhan to remember all those useless conversations they had when they first met and started dating.

"Baba told me," Yibo said. Which was the truth. "When I didn't become an idol and came back home at sixteen with my broken ankles, we were talking about other career options. That was one of the things I spouted out. He told me I was too tall."

"I suppose you argued that sprained ankles wouldn't matter in zero gravity."

"Yes, I absolutely did," Wang Yibo replied, making both of them laugh. "Do you have to do this?"

"I'll scan the letter and email it to you," Xiao Zhan said. "It's not really worded as a suggestion. More like a civic duty I need to perform as one of China's most visible stars."

"Can't you just be a little less visible?" Yibo whined, though he was mostly teasing. But then his Zhan-ge wouldn't be the man he was. Yibo adored and hated him a little all the time for his drive and dedication. Not that Yibo was better. Zhu Chen and he owned a lucrative dance studio in Beijing, catering to singers and performers. Yibo himself was a backup dancer for many stars, and had been asked to officially join more than one team. But he liked being in control of his own time. It wasn't like he and Xiao Zhan spent that much time together considering Xiao Zhan's job; he traveled more than he was ever home. So Yibo wanted to be able to schedule his free time around Xiao Zhan's free time.

Easy enough to do, but not an option if he joined someone else's team. What would he say? Sorry, taking two days off during your tour to go home and have sex with my husband! And then not be able to tell anyone who he was married to? That would go over well.

Besides, he needed access to a pool and that wouldn't be guaranteed. Xiao Zhan spoiled him rotten, which meant Wang Yibo had exactly what he needed in their home. Including a huge, indoor swimming pool.

"Send me the requirements," Yibo said, "If that's not in your letter. I'm pretty sure you have to get scuba certified and a lot of training is done in a pool. I can help with that."

"Our water is so dense," Xiao Zhan said, "I bet I can pass that with a little help from my favorite husband."

Wang Yibo swallowed back his nervous laughter. When had Xiao Zhan noticed that? He almost asked but bit his tongue instead. Best to let that go.

But their pool at home was unusual; Xiao Zhan rarely used it so Wang Yibo kept it balanced to his needs. "Better be your only husband."

"So far," Xiao Zhan teased, making Yibo laugh. "So I'll train at home with you. Are you okay with that?" Xiao Zhan asked. "Don't change anything in our pool. I'm sure it's normal and it's me. You know I don't like using public things like that."

Gah. His husband was so good to him. Xiao Zhan hated public gyms; he preferred their equipment at home. If going on site for some time, he'd take free weights with him instead of using someone else's equipment. Or he just ran more often and did a lot more pushups. "Yeah, I'm good with that."

"Awesome." In the background, someone called for Xiao Zhan. "I have to go. I'll tell my team to respond and remind the government of my height and see if that gets me out of it. Love you, gouzizai."

"Love you too. You agree since you have to, get me the list of training that needs done, and I'll buy what we need for home." They hung up; Xiao Zhan would be home next in two more weekends. That was plenty of time to get equipment sent to their home.

Once again, he wondered about the odd things Xiao Zhan said. Almost like he had some inkling about Wang Yibo's nature, even if it remained unspoken.

Some day they might talk about it.

Meanwhile, he needed to make some purchases and do research. Because knowing their government, they would make an exception about Xiao Zhan's height and send him anyway.

Being gay (well, bi in Xiao Zhan's case) really limited their interactions. Xiao Zhan was young and a public figure, a huge star, so he had to portray himself as single. Living with a man? That could ruin his career. As it was, they'd taken all the steps they could to guarantee that no one could pull them apart but nothing was one-hundred percent safe in their country. As things stood, he got to spend most holidays with Xiao Zhan as his backup dancer. Between that, rehearsals, and the one weekend a month Xiao Zhan had off according to his contract, they'd made it work for six years now.

Xiao Zhan had been lucky that none of the top officials in the government had daughters close to his age who were single. Otherwise, he'd probably be forced to take them on an official date whether he wanted to or not. It wasn't unheard of when some spoiled heiress got it in her head she needed to date a movie star. Xiao Zhan had shared a couple horror stories that were common knowledge in the upper echelons of entertainment business that weren't shared with outsiders.

It never did an individual well to get recognized by their government. The additional scrutiny made Wang Yibo very nervous every day.

Two weeks after the announcement Xiao Zhan called him again during filming. "You're getting a visitor this evening."

"Who?"

"Xuan Lu," Xiao Zhan said. "She's coming by to help sanitize the house."

Sanitize, in this case, meant help hide anything revealing from prying eyes.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," Xiao Zhan confirmed. "I've had two different people from the project volunteer to stop by. I think I've got them talked out of it but…"

"I like Xuan Lu," Wang Yibo admitted, "She's a good choice."

"Drag out some of the group shots to replace our personal ones, will you? You two can hang them up."

Telling Xuan Lu hadn't been a conscious choice; her trailer had been right next to Xiao Zhan's during filming four years ago and they'd both been a little tipsy one night from a spontaneous after-work party. He'd thought he was escorting her back to her trailer. Instead, he'd flung open the door to his trailer and given Xuan Lu an eyeful of mostly-naked, sleepy Wang Yibo, waiting for Xiao Zhan to return.

A surprise for Xiao Zhan. Doubly a surprise for Wang Yibo and Xuan Lu.

"Please tell me this isn't a bid for a threesome," Xuan Lu said, crawling into the trailer.

"No!" Wang Yibo yelped. "And Xiao Zhan better not give a different answer."

"Thank God," Xuan Lu said, then grabbed a sheet from the end of the sofa and threw it over Wang Yibo.

"I'm so sorry," Xiao Zhan said. Once. Twice. A few more times.

The three of them ended up on the floor, laughing too hard to carry on a conversation. And the first of Xiao Zhan's friends found out that he happily considered himself married to his main backup dancer. The following morning Xiao Zhan made them breakfast and Wang Yibo exchanged contact information with Xuan Lu. He hadn't stopped talking to her since.

This project… it made too many people think that Xiao Zhan needed personal training. In the privacy of his home. When he absolutely couldn't refuse, he'd met them in local hotels or once, at a public gym that had a pool. So far, no one had made into their home who wasn't a close, personal friend.

And by close, personal friend, that meant someone who already knew Xiao Zhan considered himself married to a man. Beyond their parents, Wang Yibo could count on one hand how many people knew they were a couple. Secrets only remained secret when not talked about, after all.

Which is why their first floor living room and public spaces in their home, while designed by them, no longer had personal pictures. Those were all on the second level and the door at the top of the stairs always stayed locked. Xuan Lu had helped, then called an amazing locksmith who installed the door that only had two keys and a biometric lock. Xiao Zhan and Yibo each wore a key around their neck.

Every day Wang Yibo would pass another new sign or billboard calling China's youth to consider STEM courses, to become an astronaut and seed the future of the universe with China's philosophy. The first few months Xiao Zhan was prominent in each billboard but slowly that gave way to the actual astronauts.

Eight months passed before the flight could happen. Then another two months of Xiao Zhan living strictly on base for the rest of his training with real astronauts. Astronaut light, he called it when they could talk. The basics of navigation, shuttle controls, survival training, some Russian and English in case they had to contact the International Space Station, basic medical training for emergencies… he joked it would be good training for future military roles.

The day of the launch Wang Yibo's parents held his hands, the three of them sitting on the massive sofa in the upstairs living room, eyes glued to the broadcast. He hadn't touched Xiao Zhan in nine weeks at this point. It would be another three weeks before he'd see him in person again. The flight would last seven days, then there was getting back to earth, going back to base, after-action reports… the list went on.

Xiao Zhan's parents were at mission control, the lucky bastards. They had a burner phone that Yibo had given them eighteen days ago, before they went into seclusion to be able to stay in mission control and watch their son from ground zero. They would call if something went wrong that the news didn't report. Yibo had little faith something bad would be reported.

"Yibo," his mama said, rubbing his shoulder. His baba was on the other side, clinging to Yibo for emotional support. They'd taken a swim early that morning while mama cooked too much food. They all coped with nerves in their own way. Xuan Lu had offered to sit with Wang Yibo but he had to refuse. If something happened… if he got too nervous… he wouldn't be able to explain his reaction.

Best if he just hung out with his parents.

"Xiao Zhan, any words before you board?"

He raised one arm straight up, hand in a fist, then tapped it against his open helmet in a pattern Yibo would recognize. His perfect husband was such a perfect dork. "Only that I have tremendous faith in our astronauts and I'm really looking forward to seeing earth from a different perspective."

"Did you bring a camera?" the reporter asked.

"Two!" he confirmed. "The entirety of my space for personal possessions, besides for a picture of home and family." He tapped his chest then. Yibo would not be surprised if the picture missing from their bedroom was indeed nestled inside Xiao Zhan's shirt.

It better be laminated; he knew how much Xiao Zhan sweated. "I love you so much," he muttered to the television.

"Such a good husband," his mama whispered, blowing a kiss at the screen. "Such a lucky man."

Yibo wasn't sure if she meant he was lucky, or if Xiao Zhan was the lucky one. Either way worked. Both were true.

The launch was successful. Radar tracked the flight almost the whole trip, CCTV had a live feed that aired on time delay the entire trip once launch was over. Yibo wasn't going to turn it off until Xiao Zhan landed. His parents planned to stay the whole week until Xiao Zhan was back on earth. Yibo had two days off, their usual open weekend before this dumb event got planned, then he had to go back to work. He had his usual classes to teach, three new dances coming up, and he promised to help Zhu Chen while she choreographed something for one of the captains for the upcoming season of Street Dance of China.

He wanted to stay very busy the next few weeks until he got Xiao Zhan back in his arms. Because Xiao Zhan had wrangled an entire week off once he was free and clear of astronaut business. Yibo wasn't going to let him leave their bed.

The second day back to work and he finished one class and was setting up for the idol to come in to practice when Zhu Chen and Xuan Lu entered his studio. He took one look at their worried faces and whined, falling to his knees trembling.

"It's not that bad, Wang Yibo!" Xuan Lu assured him.

Zhu Chen rushed to his side, wrapping her arms around him, holding him together. "I called your dad. He's on his way to pick you up. I'm not letting you ride your bike home today."

"What's happened?" he asked.

"They're all okay," Xuan Lu assured him, petting his shoulder. "Some space debris hit their ship and it's affected their guidance system. One of the astronauts needs to do a spacewalk to repair it."

"They're trained for events like this," Zhu Chen reminded him. "It's not uncommon. Apparently, there's a lot of debris up there from all the various ships orbiting over the years."

That was it. Yibo decided right then and there what he and his father would do on their next annual father/son 'camping' trip.

"I’m going to his parents," Xuan Lu said. They were still near mission control and Wang Yibo wouldn't be able to explain his presence there. Xuan Lu had been linked to Xiao Zhan multiple times over the years. Hell, they had their own active cpn on Weibo. She wouldn't look out of place there. "I'll call you as soon as I talk to them, all right?"

"Okay."

"I'll take over your classes tonight and tomorrow if need be. You go home and deal with this," Zhu Chen told him.

"I love you," Yibo breathed out, trying to smirk at her. Pretending like they hadn't just fired a shot at his heart.

"Love you too, brother," she said, squeezing him. "Now go home."

"What if they don't get it fixed?" Yibo fretted on the drive home.

His dad shook his head, watching the road, hands gripping the wheel.

"We have to let them try, Wang Yibo. It's not the end of the world yet. It's probably an easy fix. They are trained professionals, after all."

"I won't let Xiao Zhan die in space," Yibo threatened.

"I know, son. I know."

"So you know what I have to do?"

"One day at a time, Yibo."

"I'll do it without you."

"I promise I'll help, son. I promise. Just… give it a day."

"Meanwhile? Prep?"

"It's already done."

"When? How?"

"Three weeks ago," his dad finally admitted, sighing. "You think I was going to let your husband go in space and not be prepared?"

"You're the best, baba," Yibo said.

"You're my only son. I love you. And I happen to like my son-in-law."

"We love you too," Yibo leaned over and rubbed his head against his dad's shoulder.

"There won't be any hiding from Xiao Zhan after this, if we go. You have to realize he might not be so accepting afterwards."

"I can deal with any awkward conversation," Yibo decided, "as long as he's alive for us to have it."

His father made him promise years ago, as a child, to keep his heritage a secret. From everyone. Wang Yibo hadn't told a soul. Not even Xiao Zhan. The price of keeping it quiet, even if it wasn't a direct lie, always stung. And the fact he needed to meant Wang Yibo was honest as possible about every other thing in their joint lives.

So that if it came down to it, and Xiao Zhan accused him, then Yibo could answer truthfully that it was the only secret he'd ever kept. Hopefully that would be enough to keep Xiao Zhan in his life.

He didn't tell his father about all the odd things Xiao Zhan had mentioned over the years; like he suspected Wang Yibo's secret. Yibo wasn't certain how Xiao Zhan figured it out but it was enough to know he probably had, and hadn't left him yet.

Hopefully the astronauts would resolve the problem – safely and quickly – and Wang Yibo fretted about nothing.

Want Yibo did not fret about nothing. The broadcast, of course, emphasized that it was only a small repair that the astronauts were one-hundred percent prepared for. Xuan Lu, with Xiao Zhan's parents, said otherwise. "It's not what has been said," she whispered to Yibo over the phone, "It's what hasn't been said. The first day they were effervescent with hope. It's not like that now. They're quiet and furiously working and they always glance over their shoulder before talking to one another, like they don't want us to hear. I think something else is wrong."

"Baba," Wang Yibo said, going to the guest room to wake him up in the middle of the night, "It's time."

"You're sure?" he asked again, dropping his hand to rest on Yibo's shoulder. "This could cost you your marriage."

"He loves me," Yibo said firmly, "I have to hope – no, I believe – that we'll make it past this."

"Okay, okay. Go kiss your mother before we go, you know how she gets nervous. Then grab your gear. The sooner we go, the better."

This very trip meant Xiao Zhan would learn the truth and the only lie that existed between them would be gone. Yibo couldn't wait. Sure, it would be a shock and a mess to clean up but he believed in them.

"You want to take the controls? It'll be just like one of our camping trips."

"No baba, you fly. I'm already nervous. I don't want to crash on accident."

His father's ship, temporarily parked and well hidden by a sophisticated invisibility cloak in their backyard, blasted off the ground and straight up into the night sky.

Chapter Text

"You want me to what?"

"Dance, Xiao Zhan, just dance."

"Yeah, I'm not good at that."

"We'll find you a good choreographer you can work with, all right? You did fine when you were part of the band."

"There were eight other, younger boys to watch. I could blend in. Dancing is not my strength and you know that. What's bringing this around?"

"There were some online polls. 98 percent of your fans miss seeing you dance. I think you should try it at least once. If you hate it now that you're solo, we won't do it again, okay?"

"You're the manager," Xiao Zhan sighed, "and you haven't steered me wrong yet."

"We found a choreographer and a trainer we think you'll like. They're names are Zhu Chen and Wang Yibo. They've signed the NDA forms already. We're meeting them next week when you're back in Beijing."

"On my one weekend off?"

"It's only for two hours, then the rest of the time you're free."

"Tell me about them."

The thing was, he was used to working 24/7. It was part of the being-famous deal and Xiao Zhan mostly didn't mind. The worst part was always missing events with his oldest friends. The first few years, they tried to include him; phone calls, emails, then texts, and he attended maybe one out of six invites at the time.

That was when he actually had time off before his breakthrough series. Now it was more like he attended one out of twenty invites. He didn't mind it; he loved his career and doing whatever he wanted. He loved having enough money to travel, buy any home he liked, wear whatever brand he wanted, and have millions of people following his online accounts. It was the only way he knew how to live lately.

Then he walked into a Beijing Dance Studio and lost his mind.

Not even an hour passed on his watch and Xiao Zhan wanted to know when he could come back. Wang Yibo smiled within ten minutes of meeting him (well, he did that professional smile from the moment they met. But a real one a very short time later); Xiao Zhan tripped over his feet. Twice.

"Ge, I've seen you dance before. Are you drunk?"

"Nope," Xiao Zhan said, his face very warm. "I'm just tired today. Can you help me with that move?"

Really? Xiao Zhan snapped at himself, in the privacy of his mind. You're going to be one of -those- actors? Who thinks he's privileged enough to ask for anything? Just because you're already daydreaming about Wang Yibo's hands all over your bare skin?

He kept it innocent as possible, and as soon as Wang Yibo showed his how his shoulders should rotate this way while his hips rotated the other direction, and he bent his knees properly at the same time, Xiao Zhan took a step backwards, unfortunately out of Wang Yibo's grip, and started to act like a professional.

The thing was, Yibo stood in front of the other backup dancers, and his studio partner whom he said was the better choreographer, and didn't touch any of them. But every time Xiao Zhan asked, Yibo would flash that teasing grin, accuse him of having two left feet, and then wrap those hands around whatever part of Xiao Zhan needed help.

Not once did he glance at his manager, who'd found a reason after the first twenty minutes, all-the-while-facepalming, to excuse his whole team so no one could witness their boss being an idiot over a boy. Therefore no one could gossip about it.

Was it two hours of heaven? Or hell? Well, more like three hours, because it ran over and no one called a halt to it. He couldn't wait to come back in ten days and see him again.

Once done practicing, he jumped into the public shower next to the studio to rinse off the sweat and put on whatever second outfit he'd brought for the ride home. Where he had almost two full days to himself. Time Xiao Zhan would not spend thinking about the boy he'd just met.

His manager and Zhu Chen were the only two in the studio when he got out of the shower, fully dressed, wringing the last few drops of water from his hair. She looked serious, waving one finger in his manager's face.

"Anything wrong?" Xiao Zhan asked Zhu Chen.

"I was grilling your manager," she admitted, hands on her hips, glaring at Xiao Zhan.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"You're alive and breathing," Zhu Chen said. Xiao Zhan wasn't sure if that was good or bad; he couldn't get a read on her. Then she continued, "Wang Yibo is my best friend. I've known him for twelve years. If you're going to fuck around, or lead him on, or not treat this seriously, then I expect you to make that clear."

"I've barely talked to him," Xiao Zhan protested. "He's helping me learn your choreography…"

"And you couldn't take your eyes off other," Zhu Chen snarled. "I've never seen him like that with anyone, and he's been around way more attractive men than you."

"Thanks," Xiao Zhan replied.

"I'm just saying, whatever you want from him, make it clear. Your manager assures me you're single and that Xuan Lu is your best friend and not your secret girlfriend."

That was the truth about Xuan Lu for sure. Only three hours had passed; how was Xiao Zhan supposed to know what he wanted from Wang Yibo yet? Other than he found Wang Yibo gorgeous and fascinating, and they made each other laugh. Maybe after he was done learning this performance, they could exchange numbers and see where this went. It wasn't like he had plans with the boy today. (Maybe, in his head, if he kept referring to said gorgeous creature as 'the boy' he could ignore things for a little while longer? Maybe.)

"I promise," Xiao Zhan said, still not sure why they were having this conversation. Then he got in the car; and found Wang Yibo already in the back seat, stretched out, his feet propped on a backpack.

"Hi," Xiao Zhan said, glancing around. No one else seemed surprised to find a stranger in the backseat. "What's up?"

"I asked, and have been assured that you're single and free the rest of the weekend. I want to get to know you better. So I'm inviting myself over. You good with that? Us hanging out today?"

"Today?" Xiao Zhan squeaked.

"And tomorrow if we agree," Wang Yibo said, grinning at him.

"If we agree?" Xiao Zhan repeated.

Wang Yibo very carefully leaned closer, wrapped one hand around Xiao Zhan's neck, and very gently pulled him closer, pressing a brief closed-mouth kiss against his lips. "Yeah, only if you want me to stick around tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll go quietly tonight. No fuss. No scene. What do you say?"

"I say yes," Xiao Zhan whispered.

So much for that post-performance plan.

Within two months, Xiao Zhan was re-arranging his schedule to have half a day off per week. Those few hours always varied in time and location, and Wang Yibo never failed to free his own schedule to go to Xiao Zhan. He was unknown and it was much easier for him to travel, after all.

It took six months for them to move in together in a private neighborhood. That same weekend Yibo met his parents and Xiao Zhan met Wang Yibo's parents.

It was that first night in their joint home that Xiao Zhan realized something was very odd about his boyfriend.

They'd picked a home with guest rooms at the other end of the house. Moving Day was long over, rolling over closer to early morning when they finally collapsed, both sated.

A long day of moving and meeting their boyfriend's parents. They were wiped out, and then spending some alone time together in their new bedroom.

Xiao Zhan woke before Yibo when it was still mostly dark, his eyes blurry with sleep; he was sprawled out on his left side, both of his arms stretched out in front of him. He could feel Yibo plastered against his back, his half-hard cock nestled against Xiao Zhan's bare ass with one arm slung over him, one arm beneath Xiao Zhan's neck. Yibo's large hands wrapped around Xiao Zhan's forearms, gently holding him.

He was encircled by Yibo; and it took him several moments to realize that he could still feel hands caressing his torso, his hip, his exposed thigh. Weird, but he was too tired to move or think about it. It just felt nice to be so wrapped up in his boyfriend. Reassuring.

He fell back to sleep.

Another two days off; this time months later, and Xiao Zhan was too exhausted to even think. Yibo picked out their meals for the weekend; Xiao Zhan's clothes, their activities. What movie they watched in their little theater. He didn't care enough to decide right then. Another series wrapped up; four commercials shot back-to-back, and now he had some time to just stay home and rest.

"Do that thing you do tonight, all right?" Xiao Zhan muttered against Yibo's neck.

"What thing is that?"

"The whole wrapping around me with all those hands. I like waking up that way in the middle of the night."

He was too tired to realize that Yibo, always in motion, froze for a long moment. "You wake up in the middle of the night?" he asked.

"Sometimes," Xiao Zhan yawned and rolled over, curling into Yibo's chest. "It's nice. Feels safe when you're wrapped around me like that."

"Okay," Yibo whispered, kissing Xiao Zhan's forehead. "I like making you feel safe. I can do that."

"Good," he murmured, falling asleep.

Chapter Text

"Mom, I want to go swimming!"

"Not yet, baobei, you need to wait for your father."

"Why can't you take me?"

"I can't swim, sweetheart."

"Well I can!"

"Yibo, no. Don't ask again. Wait for your father."

"That's no fair."

Laughing, she pulled Yibo into her lap and hugged him. "Darling, listen to me. Are you listening?"

"Yes, mama."

"Life doesn't care about being fair, all right? We have to make the best of it that we can. You know I love you, right?"

"Of course, mama. I love you too."

Chuckling, she rubbed her nose against Yibo's. "I love you, and I can't swim. Which means I can't help you if something goes wrong. When you're older and have been swimming more than a few months, you'll be more confident in the water. Then you can swim all by yourself, all right? But you're very much like your father, which means you need to wait for him before going in the pool, little one."

"Okay, mama."

"Now, can we talk again about how everyone is different?"

"I don't look that different than everyone else. My chin, my brown eyes, my black hair… I don't see it in the mirror."

"Of course not, you get that from me. You're different here," she touched his head and then his heart, then tickled his belly. "We're all a little different inside, all right? What we think and feel, how we see the world. None of us are the same inside. But that's usually a secret. You can only share that secret with people you love and trust."

"Not everyone, right mama?"

"You're such a smart son!" she bopped his nose. "Right, baobei. I'm so proud of you.'"

"How will I know who that is?" he asked.

"For now, will you trust your mama and baba? When you get older you'll meet a nice girl, or we'll arrange for you to meet a nice girl. Then we'll talk about this again."

"Yibo," baba said, "come sit with me."

"I’m busy," Yibo said, setting aside his game console to pull his homework back in front of him. "Doing homework."

"No, you weren't. You were playing that game again. Do I need to take it away until your school work is done?"

"My grades are fine! Besides, what do I need science to dance?"

"Science is very important."

"It's stupid."

"Yibo, we need to go swimming. I'll show you why it's important."

"Why? It's not like I can swim with my friends. Swimming alone is boring."

"If you come with me, I'll show you why you can't swim with others yet."

"Sure."

"Yibo, don't sass me. Come to the pool."

Grumbling, he rolled off his bed. Swimming was better than science after all; it was sanctioned non-homework time. He could deal with that. He'd blame his dad for his bad grades. "How come our pool is inside? Most people have outdoor pools."

"I'm going to show you."

He didn't really believe that but whatever. No homework!

"Yes. There's something we need to talk about first." He patted the side of the pool. "You know everyone is different inside, right?" He touched his chest, pointing at himself, then Yibo. "And how important it is to keep what's inside secret?" he rubbed Yibo's head.

"Dad!" he pulled his head away. "I haven't forgot."

"You know I love you right, son?"

Yibo sighed and barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Yeah."

"Then watch," his baba got into the pool, sliding into the deep end of the water. At first Yibo didn't get it. It was just his dad, treading water like an old man.

Then…

Then…

"What the fuck?!" Yibo jumped up and back, away from the pool. "What is that?"

"Yibo! Language!"

"What in the world is that? What are you?"

"I'm your father, Yibo."

"How can that be?"

"Just like we've always told you. You're your mother on the outside, and your father on the inside."

"That better not be inside me!"

"The only way to find out is to get in the pool."

"Nope!"

"Yibo. Get in the pool. Now. You need to learn."

"No way!"

"Mama, how can you love me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I’m… weird," Yibo admitted.

"We're all a little weird, baobei, nothing is wrong with that."

"But… I have… that. And I can't tell anyone. I'm never going to marry. I'm not normal. How can you love me?"

"I married your father. I know the truth. I'm not afraid of either of you. Some day you'll meet a girl who won't be afraid either."

"I can't ever tell anyone, can I?"

"I pray every day that you'll meet someone you can tell, Yibo. And they'll love you, all of you, just like I love your father and you."

"Who else knows? About baba?"

"No one," she admitted.

"Am I ever going to meet his family?"

"They're very far away. He's never gone back, baobei. He's been here since he was a young man."

"So they don't know about me. Would they even like me?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because I bet I don't look like them. I look like you on the outside."

"I'm sure some of them, like some people here, wouldn't like you. But you can't focus on that."

"I'm so weird. I'm never going to marry."

"Yibo, you are the best thing that's happened to me and your father. We love you more than life. Someday, you'll love someone like that, and they'll love you right back."

"Mama, can I become a girl?"

"Become a girl? Why's that?"

Yibo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Like it wasn't already bad enough he was different from everyone he knew. He wasn't like his mom, who was fully human. He wasn't like his dad who was mostly… that. All of his friends were human, and always talking about how beautiful girls were and what they wanted to do with them.

Yibo wanted none of that. "Just because."

"Explain why being a girl is better, Yibo."

He looked at the table, fingernail following the well-worn groove in it. "Then I could marry a boy."

"Then you could… you could… Oh!" she sat dried her hands then sat in the chair next to him. "You don't want to marry a girl?"

"Not the way my friends do," Yibo admitted. "I mean, I get along with a couple of them. But the rest of them make me squirmy. They're like little worms, always trying to crawl into my space and cling to my skin. It's gross. They're worse than bugs!" Yibo bit his lip. It wasn't trembling! He wasn't afraid. Then he whispered, "Will you still love me?"

"Yibo," Mama wrapped her arms around him, " I will always love you. Even if you bring a boy home instead of a girl. All right?"

"Is this another secret? Boys don’t talk about liking boys, do they?"

"They do not," she agreed. "But is it any harder than keeping the other secrets we have? It's just one more thing, right? One more thing that makes you special and shows you're you, not just like everyone else. I think you're amazing."

"Not weird?"

"Not weird. Hey, Yibo. You leave for Korea soon to train. Maybe you'll meet some boy there, who also likes taking about boys."

"Maybe. If not, I can always talk to you or baba, right?"

"Always, my love."

Chapter Text

He hated outer space. It was too quiet, and always a little cold, and he didn't have enough blankets to keep warm. Or his husband; whom he couldn't even talk about because while he got along well enough with the astronauts on the ship, he didn't trust them enough to keep that secret.

So they talked about other things: they practiced Russian, he learned some basic engineering beyond what he'd done in his astronaut light classes, and spent some time with the pilot, learning basic maneuvers. While none of them said it, it was definitely implied during their recordings that if Xiao Zhan could do the basics with little training, being an actor and a singer, then any boy or girl who grew up training would excel.

His favorite part, hands down, was the small gym. Obviously, they had no weights in space but they did have tumbling bars set up. He filmed several various routines to take back home, knowing Yibo would love watching them. Besides, this was the tallest room on the ship and one of the few places he didn't have to fold himself over to fit inside.

Four days into the trip, he woke to silence. No radio playing, no movie in the background. All four astronauts were huddled around ship schematics, quietly discussing something. They scattered when he entered, one going to make him freeze-dried food, another shoving the schematics in a drawer, the other two trying to look like they were lounging around instead of fretting.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," the captain said. "We were hit by a little space debris. Lieutenant needs to gear up to make a walk outside, and fix a tiny piece of the ship. It's all good."

That was a bold-faced lie. Xiao Zhan thought about calling him out but instead, shrugged and saluted the Lieutenant, wishing her luck.

He could already hear Yibo's, "I told you so!"

He better make it back to actually hear the words outside his head.

The entire team was caught up in mumbled conversations that died the moment he entered whichever room they were in. They didn't have time for training – obviously, and Xiao Zhan didn't need entertained while they were busy figuring out a way to make it back home.

In the end Xiao Zhan was a good actor; he took over the daily videos being recorded for the kids – future potential astronauts, it was easy enough to pretend he was on a well-built stage and not actually stuck in outer space.

Nights were the worst though. He hated sleeping alone, folded over in his too-short bed, missing Yibo's arms around him.

Chapter Text

"I'm not sure how to reach him," Yibo admitted. "It's not like we can pull up next to the ship and knock on the door."

It made his father laugh. "What, you don't want to announce that you're coming over to ask Xiao Zhan for a play date?"

"Our play dates are little more adult than that."

"Eww, Wang Yibo. Spare your baba such thoughts, please." The Inspiration was directly in front of them. Yibo activated their cloaking shield while his father slowed their ship down, carefully weaving through debris to get closer.

"Really? Do you know how many jokes you cracked about mom in front of me? About being handsy, or snakes in the grass, or whatever other slimy bug crossed your mind?"

"You were little! You didn't understand them, anyway," his father scoffed.

"Yeah, but I remembered them. Then I grew up, baba. And 'eww' right back at you. I can't believe Mom never left you based on those jokes alone." They were so close to Xiao Zhan now, Yibo just wanted to get across the empty space and hold his husband.

"She thinks I'm funny."

"You're not," Yibo fired back, grinning at his father. All the while gripping the long handle in front of him with his hands, squeezing it tight enough to make it creak.

"You know you can just…" Yibo's dad flung a hand out and made a 'whooshing' noise. "Get right over there to him."

"Sure, and make him scream bloody murder when I appear like a ghost?"

"You have a better suggestion?"

"I'm still thinking about it."

In the end, Yibo wrote a handful of notes on a tiny pad of paper. Maybe a little warning was all Xiao Zhan would need to remain calm.

Chapter Text

Almost two days later and he was running out of informational subjects to record. He took a few pictures of the earth from a large window, recorded some bits of him singing as transitions, and that was it. The crew was still all smiles and faked cheer around him. Nothing but positive words and more lies. As soon as possible, he went back to his bunk to be alone. At least he could write Yibo a letter.

Two crumpled notes were on his neatly-made bunk. Xiao Zhan had not left it like that.

Frowning, he poked at one note, then the other. Sighing, he grabbed the left one and smoothed it out.

Don't freak out

How weird. That was definitely Yibo's handwriting. He smoothed out the second one.

Don't yell either

A third one rolled across his bed. Xiao Zhan had no idea where it came from.

I’m here to help

"You gonna show yourself then?" Xiao Zhan muttered and to his right, something shimmered, solidifying right before his eyes.

"Hi, Zhan-ge."

Blinking a couple times, Xiao Zhan rubbed his eyes then poked Yibo in the stomach. Like he was a figment of imagination or something. "Finally," Xiao Zhan muttered, throwing himself into Yibo's arms. "Wait. How'd you get here?"

Narrowing his eyes, Yibo frowned at him. "You're calmer than I expected."

"Tell me you're getting me out of here," Xiao Zhan demanded.

"Baba and I talked about a couple options, but it's dangerous."

"I don't care," Xiao Zhan insisted.

"He thinks it's better to tow the ship home."

"What? Why?"

"What do you think is going to happen if I just pluck you off the ship? It's not like you hopped into a different car. You're in space," Yibo whispered. "How are we going to explain that?"

"Maybe they tossed me out the airlock," Xiao Zhan argued.

"That will not encourage children to become astronauts, Zhan-ge, if they lose you in space."

"Really?" Xiao Zhan asked, "You're worried about kids right now?"

"I'm worried about being on the run from the government if they get suspicious," Yibo countered.

"We could tell them the truth," Xiao Zhan started, he liked the astronauts aboard the shuttle but didn't necessarily trust them. He shook his head, dismissing the idea. "No. bad idea. They'll try and lock you away and call it observation or something."

"I think we should drug them," Yibo said.

"What?" Xiao Zhan hissed.

"Listen, you make them tea, give them a sedative, turn off the cameras, and Dad and I will fix the ship so you can land."

"I don't want to stay on this ship."

Yibo tapped his chin, "I can take you back to ours before re-entry begins? Then bring you back? They're planning to land in the sea, right? I can get you back."

"You don't have to land in the sea also?"

Yibo scoffed, "I've been flying since I was ten, Xiao Zhan. I can stick a perfectly fine landing, thank you."

"There are so many things you're going to explain, Wang Yibo," Xiao Zhan said, "once we're home. Do you promise?"

Yibo gulped then, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"About what? Rescuing me?"

"About not telling you. I've wanted to – for so long."

"Only a little," he teased.

Yibo frowned and Xiao Zhan cupped his jaw, leaning in to leave a quick kiss.

"What if you hate it?" Yibo whispered.

"Hate what?"

"Me, when you see."

"Yibo, Yibo, Yibo," Xiao Zhan chuckled, shaking his head. "I love you, all right? Never going to hate you." Yibo still looked nervous but Xiao Zhan grinned at him, trying to show him how much he was loved.

Finally, Yibo relaxed. "I love you too."

Go big or go home, right? Xiao Zhan made a light, refreshing tea, stirred in the sedative Yibo provided, and carried it to the table. He handed each astronaut a cup and smiled at them until they drank it.

It worked quick enough. Yibo tapped him on the shoulder to let him know he was there, then him and his father got to work. They were spouting out words and phrases Xiao Zhan recognized from his short training session, but couldn't follow in any detail. They worked hard and fast, the two of them fixing the ship. Then Yibo helped gear up the astronauts and put them into their places, as if they were doing the reentry themselves.

Yibo's father did that fading thing and Xiao Zhan could see the ship turning in direction, heard a dull thud, and felt the thump of impact as something, apparently the Wang's ship, hooked up to The Inspiration.

Yibo held out his arms, "Come here you big giant, close your eyes."

"Why?"

"I need to wrap you all up to take you with me."

"No space suit?" Xiao Zhan squeaked.

"Too bulky," Yibo said, "You could remain here, if you prefer?"

"Nope, going with you!" Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and curled into Yibo's welcoming embrace. A moment of fleeting chill, like pressing his hand against a window in winter, then he was somewhere else. Somewhere definitely not Chinese. He couldn't quite read it but the characters weren't that different from his language. Maybe that was why Yibo's father chose China. "Oh my. Will you teach me?"

"Later," Yibo's father grunted, "This is going to be tricky."

Xiao Zhan got to sit behind Yibo, holding his hand while watching the ships burn through the atmosphere and into the horizon. It was such a beautiful view, he wished he could film that. Then they were approaching clouds and two fighter jets were fast approaching from the east.

"Gotta get you back," Yibo said.

The jets kept pace with the shuttle but the thick glass shrouding the small windows helped hide the fact the astronauts were asleep in the front chairs.

Yibo hugged him again as he carried him back to The Inspiration. Xiao Zhan quickly drank some of the leftover tea, handing Yibo the three small notes so no one else could discover them. Then Yibo was in the front of the shuttle, putting out landing gear, deploying chutes, re-hooking up communications, and gently landing the ship on ocean waves. Xiao Zhan collapsed in his seat, the same place he'd been strapped into during takeoff, and closed his eyes, falling asleep.

Soon enough, a fuzzy and very confused astronaut shook Xiao Zhan's shoulder.

"What happened? Is it over?"

"We made it back," she said, trying to grin at him and not look terrified and confused. "You slept through us finishing the repairs and re-entry."

Really? They were going to claim all that? Well, it probably was for the best. It wasn't like they could tell anyone no one knew how they made it back.

"Thanks for a memorable ride," Xiao Zhan said earnestly, grinning at her. "I’m so glad I got to go. It's a shame I missed reentry though. I'd wanted to film it."

"We promised to get China's star home in one piece," she said. Another astronaut slid up to them, bowing in greeting and thanks.

"I hope this gets kids interested in our careers," he said, perfectly calm. Like nothing had gone wrong at all.

Wow. He was almost as good an actor as Xiao Zhan.

Best to play along, after all.

A deep horn tooted outside their shuttle. They unlocked the doors and pushed them open, letting a couple sailors inside to help them into the small raft, then over to the warship waiting to take them home.

Another week of debriefing then a week of vacation and Xiao Zhan could get home to his husband. And finally get answers to the questions that had been building up the last six years. He couldn't wait.