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Chapter Text

Remus Lupin

It was cold on the nine-and-three-quarters platform, Remus thought to himself.

Perhaps cold wasn't the right word. It was September, so crisp or frigid or chilly would probably be better- among other synonyms that Remus was far too crisp-frigid-chilly to remember.

The wind was whistling along the tracks of the train, making a hollow metallic sound. Remus pulled his sweater closer to himself and shivered.

Remus's mum noticed, because of course she did. "Are you cold, dear?" she asked, hurrying to undo her own scarf for him.

Remus shrugged. "Not really," he lied, because if he didn't lie then she wouldn't let him on the train till summertime. "Just tired."

That wasn't something he'd bother lying about, because Remus Lupin was always tired, and his parents knew it.

Remus's dad bravely concealed his worry and helped Remus wave off his mum's scarf. "He's fine, Hope," he assured, making Remus feel immensely grateful. Then: "The train leaves in five minutes, let him see kids his age." For which Remus was much less grateful.

Remus's mum's eyes started watering, and Remus widened his own amber eyes. "You're not going to start crying?" he half asked, half pleaded, tugging on his mum's arm. "I'm going to be fine, mum."

Remus's mum thankfully held back, looking down at him with a small smile and clearly stopping tears by sheer willpower. "You'll owl me if you want to go home," she ordered, tucking a stray lock of Remus's auburn hair out of his face.

"Yes, mum," Remus said, rolling his eyes subtly so she couldn't see.

"And you'll be sure to eat plenty before... these next few days," she added quickly, glancing around quickly like she'd just given away Remus's secret.

Remus had to force his smile at the mention of the 'next few days'. "Yes, mum."

"And you'll get some good sleep," she called as Remus's dad began gently pulling her away. "And owl us every weekend- unless you want to owl more! We'd love to hear from you-"

"Yes, mum," Remus laughed, waving at his parents as the train whistled warningly, signaling that he had a minute left. "I'll be fine, I promise!"

Remus's dad smiled at him one last time as he pulled Hope towards the brick wall leading to the muggle station. "I know you will," he said, quietly enough that only Remus's senses could pick it up.

Remus watched them disappear, his mum clearly fighting back tears, and forced himself to look away. "I'll be fine," he said again, less sure now.

He busied himself by looking around at the other children, some fighting off their parents and some not even bothering (mums were a force to be reckoned with). He saw a few people clutching pets like toads and owls in cages, and almost wished he had something to hold. But he was eleven years old, not a terrified five-year-old. Plus, Remus hated animals. He was one, after all.

Since looking at the children boarding the train only depressed him further, he started towards the train, wind brushing against his sweater like a warning. Telling him to go back.

But there was nothing back at home for him except for the books he'd read five times over, the plants that were his only friends... and his parents, who tried desperately to make him happy but couldn't because of one day in each month where everything went dreadfully wrong. There was nothing at home for him and everything at Hogwarts, if he could just step onto the train.

He couldn't step onto the train.

The train was whistling again, and children were pushing past him to rush on, and Remus was hesitating, hand on the rail and foot on the first step. He couldn't push himself forwards just that much. It was warm on the train, but somehow he'd rather be cold than take that step.

Someone fixed that for him.

"Budge over, wanker!" said a gruff voice, pulsing all-too-loud right in his ear. Remus flinched and didn't have time to react before a rough hand landed on his back, shoving him forwards. "Some of us want on before we have to walk."

Remus stumbled up the steps and fell hard on the metal floor of the train. Blinking blearily, he felt anger pushing at the edges of his mind as he looked for the person who'd shoved him. It was a boy of about sixteen, looming over him with all of the authority of a bloke who'd hit puberty and wouldn't let anyone forget it. He had blond, crewcut hair and piercing blue eyes that felt like freezing water rushing over Remus's robes, and a Slytherin badge- of course. At his side was a kid his age, shorter than Remus with messier blond hair and more frightened blue eyes.

The kid next to puberty-bloke mouthed 'sorry' to Remus, but it didn't slow the anger pulsing in Remus's veins. Remus carefully pulled himself up, dusting off his sweater and picking up his trunk. It was laden with things that his mum had packed for him, and weighed at least twice as much as him.

"That was really rude," Remus sniffled to the sixteen-year-old, forcing tears to well up in his eyes.

The sixteen-year-old laughed, and the kid next to him flinched. "That's what you get when you're in the way, wanker."

"You're not gonna say sorry?" Remus whimpered, clutching his trunk in two fists.

He laughed and stepped away from the kid, and Remus internally thanked him. "What does it look like, git? Are you going to cry about it?"

"I tried," Remus whispered to himself, feeling anger take over as he hurled his bag up and smacked it into the sixteen-year-old's face.

He barely had time to hear the sickening crack before Remus was up and running, sprinting down the cramped corridor and weaving through students to disguise himself.

That was really stupid, Remus chided himself, but he still couldn't stop the laugh that fell from his lips as he searched for an empty corridor. Trunk-hurler isn't a good reputation to have as an eleven-year-old.

But the Slytherin bloke had had it coming to him, so Remus wasn't going to feel too apologetic. Plus, that had been a pretty gracefully hurled trunk.

Maybe he was going to be fine after all.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter was in no way fine. In fact, he was about to throw up.

"That was awful, Esteban!" he whispered, clinging to his older cousin's arm.

Esteban just hissed and shook Peter's arm off his robe sleeve, reaching up to prod at the bruise mark forming on his face. "I'm gonna beat the shit outta that kid," he growled.

Peter thought that was rather stupid, considering Esteban had pushed the boy over first. But who was Peter to talk about stupid, anyway?

Instead he tugged at his own sleeves anxiously and asked, "Do you want me to fetch Madame Pomphrey?"

"I don't need help," Esteban muttered, rummaging through his bag and pulling out his wand. He tapped it against his cheek and the bruise healed within seconds, leaving Peter gawking shamelessly.

Esteban saw Peter's shocked face and smirked a little bit, a smirk Peter had gotten used to seeing on his cousin's face ever since he'd been sorted into Slytherin. "It's fine, Pete," he drawled, reaching out to ruffle Peter's hair. "If you want to be in Slytherin, you need to learn how to take a hit."

That sounded like something Peter in no way wanted to do. His mum was a big advocate of him ending up in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff; not ever Slytherin. (She wasn't hopeful enough to think he'd ever wind up in Ravenclaw.) The Pettigrew family hated Slytherins with a passion, and Esteban Pettigrew was one of exactly three who'd ever been in Slytherin. Peter wasn't interested in becoming a family outcast just to share a common room with his older cousin.

But with Esteban giving him that look, all he could do was grimace and stutter, "I'll t-try."

"I'll t-ttt-tttttt-ryy," Esteban mocked, scrunching up his newly healed face. "What does that even mean? I never said you look to get punched, nutter."

Peter's heart was pounding rather fast. He hated when he said the wrong thing. Everyone always had the same reaction- whether verbally or mentally. The reaction of 'what an idiot'. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, staring at his feet.

"Merlin's pants," Esteban exclaimed, taking a seat on their compartment's bench and putting his feet up so Peter couldn't sit next to him. "You're going to be a Hufflepuff. I'm never speaking to you again."

"Please don't do that," Peter blurted, sitting on the opposite side of him. "I don't have anyone in Hogwarts that I know and-and I won't be able to make any friends without your help and I'll be lonely and-"

"Shut up!" Esteban groaned, rubbing his fingers to his temples like he had a headache. Peter found he was very good at giving people headaches unintentionally. "Total Hufflepuff."

Peter slunk down in his seat. At least Esteban had forgotten momentarily about beating that boy up. Peter wished he'd had the courage to go after the kid instead of staying with Esteban, but it was too late to change anything now. He was stuck in a carriage with his older cousin, who was only looking after him because Peter's mum had spoken to Esteban for the first time in months to shove Peter into him and instruct, "Make sure my Petey doesn't get trampled his first day at Hogwarts.".

Their compartment door slid open, and Esteban opened one eye. He smiled exuberantly when a few girls his age flounced in, one with black curly hair and one with sleek silvery hair. They were also already in their Slytherin robes. Peter wondered if he should also go change, then remembered he didn't have Slytherin robes because he wasn't in a house yet and felt very very stupid.

"Bellatrix!" Esteban called flamboyantly, swinging his legs off the side of the bench to make room for the curly-haired girl. "Long time, no-"

"Still dating Rodolphus," she half-sang, sitting close to Peter instead as the other girl filed in.

"Bugger," Esteban sighed, dropping his smile. "What kind of name is that, anyways? Rodolphus."

"Who's this?" the silver-haired girl asked by way of greeting, slinging her hair over her shoulder and glaring at Peter with angry grey eyes.

"Narcissa, meet Peter," Esteban sighed again, looking more and more put-out by the minute. "He's a brat, but he barely talks. Isn't that right, cousin?"

"Uhm," Peter stuttered.

Bellatrix nodded. "Fine. We have a brat of our own, but we lost him on the way to the compartments."

"Mother's going to be furious," Narcissa added, sitting daintily next to Esteban and checking her nails. "'Look after Sirius', she told us."

"'Make sure he doesn't get with the wrong sort,'" Bellatrix added, making air-quotes as she rolled her mascara-laden eyes.

"'Especially not that Potter kid, he's trouble'," Narcissa finished, pulling her robes up and crossing her legs.

"Next thing we know, we're not looking after him," Bellatrix started.

"He's with the 'wrong sort'," Narcissa groaned.

"The Potter kid, of course," Bellatrix said, sniffing in disdain. "With our luck, who else would it be?"

"And you didn't go after him?" Esteban asked curiously. Peter looked out the window and pretended he wasn't eavesdropping.

"He's not worth the time," Bellatrix said disgustedly. "We already know he's going to turn out wrong. He's probably going to end up in Hufflepuff, and mother'll have our heads."

Esteban pointed to Peter, beaming. "This one'll end up there, too. I suppose I'll be the only Pettigrew bent out of sorts about it."

"Because you're the only Pettigrew that has proper values," Narcissa interjected instantly. Peter's face turned bright red and he stared intently at the fields of Scotland passing by.

"Damn right," Esteban chortled, leaning over and slugging Peter on the shoulder like he wasn't talking bad about Peter's entire family.

Peter looked at the passing trees and very, very much wanted to go home.

Sirius Black

"I think we lost them," Sirius whispered in James's ear.

James jumped and nearly hit the train's ceiling. "Don't do that," he whispered, laugh in his voice as he shoved Sirius in the dark crawl space, his bright yellow 'muggle' poncho being the only source of light. "And remind me why we're running from your cousins again?"

Sirius, in favor of ticking James off, leaned closer to his ear and hissed, "Because they're demonsssss."

James collapsed into a fit of giggles, and Sirius cackled as softly as he could in the darkness. "Merlin, Sirius," James laughed, and Sirius saw him putting his hands over his ears. "Your breath is terrible."

"So is that ponchoooo," Sirius hissed.

James started wheezing. "My mum says it's muggle fashion!"

Sirius had just met James a few minutes ago, when he'd been running away from his cousins. He'd run into James, and James's murderous owl Richard had almost bit Sirius's hair off. Sirius rather loved his long hair- it was the sign of his stubbornness against his posh, proper family- and was inclined to hate James after that encounter. But then Bella and Cissy had come after him again, and the only thing he could do was grab James's arm and order, "Get this bloody thing off me, I'm about to die."

Five minutes later, they were in the luggage compartment on top of a train compartment. Best friends.

"How do we get out of here?" Sirius asked when they finally stopped laughing.

James snorted. "I thought you knew."

"James. Did we just lock ourselves in a luggage compartment?"

James beamed stupidly in the darkness. "Quite possibly."

"Merlin," Sirius sighed, biting back a smile because they were in a luggage compartment and it wasn't the time for jokes. James Potter didn't seem to care, judging by his idiotic grin as he began grappling with the locked door.

"Right," Sirius said, looking through his pockets. "You have your wand with you?"

James rolled his eyes. "No, I left it with Richard so he could eat it. Yes."

"Prat," Sirius said, hitting James lightly on the head. James snickered and pulled out his wand. "Right, do you know Alohamora?"

James ran a hand through his hair confidently and pointed at the door with his wand. "No," he said surely before repeating, "Aloha-ora!"

Sirius burst into a fit of giggles as sparks shot out of James's wand and nearly hit them both in the face. James cursed and shifted so he was hunched over leaning on a suitcase and sat on his wand to extinguish the flames. Sirius thought he was going to die laughing.

"I really thought that would work," James pouted, pushing his glasses up and pulling his wand back out, newly extinguished.

"Gimme that," Sirius said, grabbing for James's wand.

James instinctively pulled it away from Sirius. "No!" he said, laughing. "You'll just mess it up worse!"

"Obviously!" Sirius gasped, clutching his hand to his heart in mock horror. "The Black family line has-" he lunged for James's wand and almost impaled them both- "A noble heritage of messing things up worse! Stop denying me of my legacy and give me the wand!"

James rocked out of Sirius's reach with his wand, leaning against the door of the compartment and retorting, "Well the Potter family has a noble heritage of being stubborn, so you're getting this wand over my dead body-"

The luggage door slid open from the outside, and James fell six feet to the floor and disappeared from sight with an "ARGH!".

Sirius widened his eyes. I killed him, he thought to himself, clambering over to the edge of the luggage compartment. My first friend and I killed him. And I didn't even get his wand.

The first thing he saw when he peered over the luggage compartment were wide, bright green eyes and bright red hair. The first thing he heard was a girly shriek and a thump.

James's voice called, "Oi, lady! Don't step on the fallen wizard!"

Sirius leaned over to try and see where James was, and promptly fell out of the luggage compartment. Another girly shriek came from the green-eyed red-haired girl, and Sirius collapsed right next to James, who was still tightly clutching his wand.

James pointed his wand lazily at Sirius and grinned. "I am never following you again."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You don't mean it."

The girly-shrieker very rudely interrupted. "Why were you in the luggage compartment?" she asked, her shrill voice taking a slight Scottish accent out of anger.

James sat up, Sirius quickly following. Sirius looked up and saw the girl staring down at them with horror, like they were escaped zoo animals. Sirius thought she reminded him a bit of his family members when he showed up with the wrong colour tie on- disgusted and offended beyond belief. "Wouldn't you like to know," he said snottily.

James nudged Sirius's arm, grinning. "He's a git," he said matter-of-factly to the girl.

The girl took a weary step back from them, towards the door of the compartment.

A boy stepped in, nonplussed by James and Sirius sitting on the floor. He had the greasiest hair Sirius had ever seen in his life. "Evans," he whinged with a dainty British accent. "I thought we were going to sit in the Slytherin compartment. I wanted to introduce you."

James and Sirius looked at each other. James covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Sirius pointed to his hair and mouthed 'has he ever showered?'.

The girl pointed shakily at them. "I was just going to get my things, Severus," she narrated dramatically, "But these two popped out of the compartment!"

James ran a hand through his hair and beamed pleasantly. "Hullo."

"Your name is Severus?" Sirius asked at the same time.

Severus sniffed, literally turning up his nose at the two so Sirius had a good view up his nostrils. Sirius and James looked at each other and gagged. "Severus Snape," he said airily. "What's it to you? And what on Earth are you wearing?"

James pointed defensively to his own ugly yellow poncho. "My mum said it was the muggle fashion," he defended.

"Crickey," Sirius said in amazement, turning to James and tugging on his arm. "Severus's name is worse than mine!"

James widened his eyes and clutched Sirius's arm back, shaking it. "Miracles do happen!"

Severus sniffed again- Sirius wondered if he kept turning up his nose at them because he had a cold, because Merlin he was sniffing a lot- and grabbed the red-head's hand. "Come on, Lily," he said snappishly. "Let's go find another compartment."

Richard the owl hooted from his spot on a seat behind Lily. Lily jumped away and shook her head in disgust. "Really."

"You're still making noise, huh?" James said bleakly to Richard. "Ugh."

Sirius cringed, because it most definitely looked like James had just said that to Lily. "He was talking to the bird," Sirius said helpfully, when Lily looked like she'd been smacked. "Cheer up, Lily Evans. You have a better name than Severus."

James snorted. "Kinda sounds like Snivillous."

Sirius's eyes lit up, because finally someone had a worse name than his. "That's perfect!"

Lily Evans turned her nose up at the boys. "Either you get out, or we get out," she said in a know-it-all tone, putting her hands on her hips.

James looked at Sirius and raised his eyebrows.

"This compartment's boring," Sirius decided, standing up and offering James a hand (least he could do, considering he let James fall out of the luggage a few minutes ago). "Let's leave them to their matureness."

"Do you really think of that as an insult?" Lily asked offendedly, letting go of Severus's hand.

"It's true," James admitted, getting up and grabbing his trunk. Sirius begrudgingly grabbed his own trunk- it was packed with at least fifty things his mother considered Black Family Heirlooms- and they started to leave.

"You forgot your owl!" Lily called after them.

James stopped at the doorway and made a face. "That was intentional," he grumbled, turning around to carefully pick up the murderous Richard. "See ya, Evans!"

James Potter

"We can't go in this one," Sirius said, poking his head back out of a compartment door and seeming scared.

James rolled his eyes. They'd tried almost fifteen compartments now, and all of them had either been full or unwilling to house them. James doubted his poncho was helping any. He silently cursed his mum's muggle magazines for making her think this was the latest fashion.

"And why not?" he responded impatiently, trying to crane his neck around Sirius to see inside.

Sirius pushed him back by the shoulder, face gaunt. "There's a dead guy in there," he hissed.

James blinked. "A dead guy?"

"A dead guy," Sirius confirmed.

James weighed his options. On the one hand, dead guys didn't seem very pleasant to be in a compartment with. On the other hand, they'd already tried a lot of compartments...

"Are you absolutely sure it's a dead guy?" James stalled, pushing Sirius out of the doorframe.

Sirius yelped and jumped away from the door as James poked his head in to see the 'dead guy'. He was expecting a ghost or something- his mum had told him there were a lot of those at Hogwarts, so he figured one riding the train wouldn't be so far-fetched- but instead he saw a deathly pale eleven-year-old, slumped over in a very uncomfortable position on the bench, eyes sunken and closed and mouth hanging open.

James turned around and punched Sirius in the shoulder. "He's not dead, you idiot! He's sleeping!"

Sirius punched James back and rubbed at his shoulder. "He looks so pale that I didn't notice," he defended stiffly. "Look at him. Looks like a corpse."

James had to concede that the guy did look a bit deadish. Still, they were desperate. He maneuvered his way into the small compartment and quietly took a seat on the other side of the dead guy, careful not to wake him.

Sirius had no such qualms. Now that he was quite sure the boy wasn't dead, he leapt into the compartment, threw his bags to the floor with a clatter, and leaned over to tap the boy's shoulder. "Wakey wakey!" He sang, watching as the boy's eyes flew open and his hand flew to clutch his heart like he'd been stunned. "Budge over, I'm sitting here."

The boy looked absolutely terrified. James didn't quite blame him, considering Sirius had no tact whatsoever. He waved at the bloke and said a small, "Hey. How's it going?"

Managing a shrug, the boy clearly tried to compose himself and clearly failed as well, when Sirius sat right next to him and stretched his feet across to the other bench, directly onto James's lap. James rolled his eyes and threatened, "I will have Richard peck your feet to death, Sirius," and Richard gave a menacing hoot from his spot next to James. "And leave, uhm-" James turned to the boy. "What's your name?"

The boy seemed to be shrinking into himself the more people spoke to him. James wondered if it was a talent or a spell or something, because it certainly was consistent. "Remus Lupin," he whispered.

"Merlin, you people have weird names," James said offhandedly. "I'm James, and the one with no tact is Sirius Black. Sirius, leave Remus alone."

"I don't know what tact means, so I'm taking it as a compliment," Sirius said immediately, ignoring James's comment about Remus.

Remus looked like he was trying horribly to smile and not really getting there. "It means you don't have any appreciation for other's thoughts or worries," he said, almost as though he was reciting right from a dictionary. "It's a lack of empathy or strategy when approaching people or completing a task."

James felt his mouth fall open.

Sirius seemed completely unbothered. He took his feet off James's lap and said, "Yeah, sounds like a compliment. Beautiful meet you, Remus."

Remus shrunk into himself again. James thought that was a pretty cool party trick. "That's not the right usage of that word," he said softly.

Sirius scrunched up his face. "You're not the right usage of that word."

Remus looked utterly confused. James forced himself not to laugh and explained, "Sirius is also immature."

"I've been told that by one Lily Evans and about five of my family members," Sirius explained, leaning his back against Remus's side like he'd known him all their lives.

James thought Remus was going to die. He could tell the poor guy was terrified of touch, although he didn't know why. Whatever the reason, Sirius was clearly making him uncomfortable. James shot a reassuring look at Remus and fumbled for a conversation topic that wouldn't scare him off.

He finally settled on, "So, you like words. Tell us about that."

Sirius burst out laughing. "'So, you like words,'" he mocked. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Guess you've never heard yourself talk, then," James countered.

Sirius wheezed. "That was uncalled for."

"You're uncalled for," Remus said offhandedly.

Silence. James raised his eyebrows at Sirius like he's sarcastic. Sirius's mouth fell open in a big smile like HE'S SCARCASTIC!

"Can we keep him?" he asked, directly to James.

Before James could chide Sirius on how claiming humans as your own was frowned upon in society, Remus actually laughed- a small, almost imperceptible laugh. "I should think not," he remarked. "I have my rights."

James nodded, mostly to himself. "Yeah, we can keep him."

"Do I not get a say in this?" Remus asked, putting his hands on his hips like an agitated schoolteacher.

"Absolutely not," Sirius established, slinging an easy arm around Remus's shoulders and completely ignoring his wince. What it must be like to be Sirius Black.

The train rolled past Scotland into Hogwarts territory, and Remus leaned away from Sirius and closer to the window. "Wow," he breathed, his breath fogging the glass.

Sirius scoffed. "Princess," he said, seemingly for no reason whatsoever.

James snickered as Remus turned around to glare at Sirius. "Excuse me?"

Sirius shrugged, completely unbothered. "You're posh, you say big words, and you love castles."

"I'm a male," Remus emphasized.

"Yeah, but I wanted to tick you off," Sirius said gleefully.

Remus groaned. "Is it too late to get unkept?"

"Yep!" James said, beaming stupidly at Remus. "You're one of us now."

Chapter Text

Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew was a lot of things. He was anxious, ever-hungry, and annoying, for example.

Peter Pettigrew was not brave.

He supposed exhibit A could be that he hadn't ran after the boy that hit Esteban in the face. Exhibit B could be that he spent the entirety of the train ride listening to various Slytherins gossiping and wishing he had, but not trying to make an escape.

Exhibit C would probably be right then, about to faint as he put the Sorting Hat on his head and closed his eyes, waiting for a verdict.

Well, well, well, the Sorting Hat said dryly in his head. Peter jumped hearing the voice- although he probably should've expected it, considering Esteban and Bellatrix had begrudgingly told him what to expect.

Um, Peter said- thought?- shyly. Hello.

Curious, the hat said, completely ignoring him. You seem a bit like a Hufflepuff at the moment. But it seems as though there's ambition there as well. Lots of ambition. A strong need to belong somewhere, and do whatever it takes to stay where you belong. Hm... I would say that is a Hufflepuff characteristic, but the 'do anything' part tends to be Slytherin...

Peter looked around with wide eyes at the Great Hall. There were about three hundred students, all waiting for him to get sorted. The boy who Esteban had hit was looking at him with a bit of contempt in his eyes. He made a 'hurry it up' motion with his hands.

Um, Mr. Sorting Hat, sir? Peter asked/thought nervously. Could we hurry this up?

The Sorting Hat's curiosity was almost palpable. Scared that Remus Lupin is going to beat you up? That's rather sad.

Peter felt a spark of defensiveness in him. I'm not scared, he thought angrily. Just tired of you stalling. So hurry it up, you old hat. You, er... smell like mold.

The hat was silent, and Peter realized that probably wasn't the best thing to say to it, considering he was in charge of Peter's entire future environment. He was prepared to take it back until a creaking, low sound filled his ears. It took him a moment to understand that the hat was laughing.

Someone's got guts, the Sorting Hat said amusedly. Well, you're not nice enough to be Hufflepuff-

Harsh, Peter muttered.

-Or smart enough to be Ravenclaw, or cunning enough to be Slytherin. But you seem stubborn enough... might as well be GRYFFINDOR!

Peter's head was spinning from the loudness of the shout. The table closest to the end of the hall, decked out in red and gold banners, was cheering a bit unsurely. Peter reasoned that was fair enough, considering he'd taken nearly five minutes to be sorted.

Peter recalled what his parents had said about Gryffindor as he took a place at his new table. They were noble, righteous, and brave... Peter Pettigrew was in no way brave.

Peter supposed he should be grateful that he wasn't going to get disowned like Esteban, but instead he was just scared. Pretty ironic, considering his new house.

A boy named Sirius Black was called, and he looked almost as scared as Peter. Peter could tell he was trying to hide it with a smirk and a weird little saunter over to the Sorting Hat, but his eyes were darting around like they were trying to find a table he belonged at.

Peter gave a cheery little wave from Gryffindor's table and Sirius just scowled. Peter didn't exactly blame him.

The hat took a while with Sirius, too, which made Peter feel a little better. Sirius looked like he was constipated the whole time. It would've been hilarious if the hall wasn't dead silent. The Slytherin table seemed to be holding its breath.

Then the hat opened its mouth- was it a mouth? Or was it just a hat fold?- and yelled GRYFFINDOR!

For a moment, there was silence. Complete and total silence. A Hufflepuff coughed. A few people from the Slytherin table looked like they'd been burned.

A first year in the Sorting line with jet-black hair and glasses started clapping, loudly. A few kids from Gryffindor clapped too. Peter joined in once it was loud enough that he could support without being picked on.

What kind of Gryffindor was he?

Sirius slunk over to the Gryffindor table and took a seat next to Peter, rather begrudgingly. "That was right awkward," he muttered to himself.

"Your sorting didn't take as long as mine, though," Peter said, trying to make Sirius feel better. "The hat wouldn't stop talking about Hufflepuff."

Sirius scoffed at that, tossing his shoulder-length hair over his shoulder and shooting Peter a sideways, pearly white smile. "Imagine being a Hufflepuff!"

Peter laughed nervously. Most of his family was Hufflepuff, but he didn't dare say that in front of Sirius.

The kid with the glasses got sorted into Gryffindor shortly after, and he bounded up to them, his mood the exact opposite of Sirius's. He slung an arm around both Sirius and Peter's shoulders to casually push them away as he sat on the bench in between them, in one smooth move. Peter wondered vaguely if he was going to become a Quidditch player. "You lot are stuck with me now!" he announced proudly. "Who are you again?" he added instantly to Peter.

Peter tried to go for a smile. "Peter Pettigrew," he stuttered.

The boy looked completely unfazed. "James Potter. You are very lucky to be blessed with my presence," he said, reaching to shake Peter's hand. Peter prayed his hands weren't as clammy as he thought they were.

Sirius huffed a laugh. "I don't know about lucky." He pushed James's hand off his shoulder and James stuck his tongue out at him.

Peter searched for a way to get into the conversation and finally blurted, "Least I'm not in Slytherin. My mum would kill me."

Sirius craned his neck over James to gape at Peter. "My mum would kill me if I wasn't in Slytherin."

James gestured to the table they were at and said sympathetically, "Tough luck, mate."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Right you are."

Peter opened his mouth to try and worm his way into the conversation yet again, but one of the professors was glaring at them. She had her grey hair in a tight bun, with a quite disastrous green feathery hat on top. "Quiet, you three," she snapped, and Peter became dreadfully aware that James, Sirius and him were the only ones speaking. Peter sank further into his seat as James saluted good-naturedly and Sirius mimed zipping his lips.

"Lupin, Remus!" the professor- McGonagall, Esteban had told him on the train- barked. Remus stumbled forwards, one of the last in line. His face was deathly pale, and he looked like he thought someone was going to kick him out any second. Peter shot him an overly enthusiastic thumbs up and Remus gave him a look like why are you interacting with me.

"He's always like that," James said reassuringly to Peter. But James didn't know what had happened with Esteban.

Remus had only had the hat on for a good ten seconds before the hat bellowed GRYFFINDOR!, sounding rather surprised. James and Sirius cheered loudly as Remus walked over to their table, looking a bit angry. "Stupid hat," he muttered, sitting down on Sirius's side and crossing his arms indignantly.

Sirius tutted empathetically. "Your parents gonna kill you too, Princess?"

"Don't call me that," Remus said tersely. "And my parents don't want me here anyways. I suppose they couldn't care less what animal is knitted onto my winter scarf from now on."

Sirius was unbothered. Peter was beginning to notice that was a pattern with him. "Well, that's great!" he said sarcastically, glowering as the last student clambered up onto the stool to get sorted. "My mum might pull a dementor and take my soul right out of my body when she hears the news, but good to know everyone else is safe!"

Peter wasn't sure if he liked Sirius Black. But considering he was one of the only people Peter had met who was tolerating him, Peter supposed he'd just have to deal with the crudeness.

James nudged Sirius's shoulder. "Cheer up, mate!" he said, obnoxiously happy for someone whose new friends were currently anxious messes. "Food will fix everything, just watch!"

Sirius Black

Food didn't fix everything. Especially not the fact that Sirius's mother really was going to kill him.

His entire family, at least five generations back, had been Slytherin. His little brother Regulus already requested green and silver curtains in his room, and he was only ten! His mother had made it quite clear that if Sirius wasn't in Slytherin, bad things would happen.

James seemed to sense Sirius's sullenness as they climbed the Gryffindor staircase that night, because he nudged Sirius's shoulder and said, "Worst she can do is kill you."

That wasn't the helpful comment James thought it was, considering Walburga Black could probably do worse.

At least the dorm room was comfortable. Sirius, Peter, James, and Remus were sharing one, although Remus had been pulled aside by McGonagall in the middle of the feast and hadn't come back yet. Peter Pettigrew was right annoying; he never seemed to stop stuttering and always looked like he was seconds away from throwing up. James was the only person that Sirius enjoyed spending time with, but even James snored like a banshee.

Sirius was lying in bed, silently furious.

How dare the hat sort him in Gryffindor? Sirius didn't want to be different from the rest of his family; not when there was no one else to be different with him. He couldn't be different by himself!

James's snoring was crazy loud. Sirius grabbed a pillow and chucked it at James, but James just muttered, "Not today, Boggart," and rolled over. So Sirius now lacked a pillow.

Sirius groaned, silently, when Peter started snoring as well.

The door to their dorm creaked open. Good, Sirius thought bitterly. A murderer has come to put me out of my misery. Or maybe mum knows I'm in Gryffindor and SHE'S the murderer.

But it was only Remus, tiptoeing into the room quieter than Sirius thought possible and scanning it for an empty bed. Sirius tried to pretend he was asleep. James and Peter snored in unison, telling Remus that at least two beds were very much taken or at least sentient.

Sirius heard his curtains open and shot up like a rocket, hitting Remus's forehead with his own.

"Merlin!" Sirius hissed, grabbing his forehead. Remus grabbed his own and stumbled backwards, landing on the actually empty bed behind them. Sirius sat up and glowered at Remus, squinting in the darkness. "What's wrong with you?"

Remus bristled, and clutching his forehead. "I just wanted to find a bed," he said faintly, sounding rather ill.

Sirius knew it made no sense to be angry, but he was in Gryffindor and Peter and James were snoring very loudly so he snapped, "Well then find the empty one, tosser!"

"Git," Remus hissed back, all courtesy forgotten.

Sirius didn't know why they were getting so angry at each other. Only knew that he was in Gryffindor, James and Peter were snoring very loudly, Remus had just hit his head, and they were eleven. And that was enough reason for him to thrust a certain finger into Remus's face and whisper "Piss off, Princess."

"Wanker," Remus snapped back, angrily throwing open the empty bed's curtains and climbing in. "Hope your mum figures out you're in Gryffindor soon."

"Hope your parents take you back home," Sirius retorted.

They both snapped their curtains shut and laid down. Sirius figured maybe they both had the same thought- that they'd both hit sensitive spots in their pointless argument.

*

James was in an annoyingly good mood the next morning. He got up at six in the morning just to throw back Sirius's curtains and shout, "Breakfast!"

"Piss off!" Sirius groaned, throwing his one remaining pillow at James.

James caught it easily and tossed it back at Sirius's face, effectively waking him up. "We're gonna be late," he insisted beligerantly.

"Five more minutes," Sirius insisted back, grabbing the pillow and hugging it for comfort.

"No mate," James said patiently, leaving Sirius's curtains wide open to shake awake Remus and Peter. Sirius blurrily collected himself and groaned at the sunlight streaming through the window of their dorm tower.

The Gryffindor tower.

His mother had told him very sternly to owl her what house he was in after he got there. Sirius knew for a fact that if he owled her Gryffindor in any form of words, she would have his head.

So Sirius Black had the best sleep-deprived idea Sirius Black had ever had. He swung his legs out of bed, using Remus and Peter's complaints to muffle him padding over to his bookbag and pulling out a paper and quill.

If he just pretended he was in Slytherin, his mum would never know, right?

James Potter

"We are not lost," James said cheerily.

"We are lost," Sirius said, much less cheerily. It turned out that James's new friend wasn't much of a morning person. James seemed to be the only one out of their dorm with the talent to be sentient at six AM.

Remus munched on a piece of toast behind them, looking the most sentient second to James. He seemed to be staying as far away from Peter as he could. "Give it up, James," he called out. "We've passed this portrait seven times."

"Only six," James called back.

"We need a map," Peter pointed out, nervously.

Sirius scoffed. "Why didn't we think of that?!" he gasped sarcastically, turning his head to glare at Peter. "Let me just grab it conveniently from my pocket-"

"Alright, Sirius!" Remus snapped. James didn't know why they seemed to suddenly hate each other, or why Remus was siding with Peter over Sirius.

Peter sniffed. "I was just suggesting," he said meekly.

"No wonder you weren't in Ravenclaw," Sirius muttered, putting his hands in his pockets and glaring at the painting they were passing once again.

"Clearly tensions are high," James said, raising his hands placatingly and trying to look for a door they hadn't tried yet. "Let's all take some deep breaths-"

"I'll not have you telling me to take deep breaths after waking me up at six in the morning," Remus warned, a dangerous edge to his tone.

Peter pointed nervously at a door. "Have we tried that one yet?"

"About fifty times!" Sirius almost shouted.

James was very close to getting a headache. "As soon as we learn magic, we're making a map of every inch of this stupid place," he vowed, watching Peter smile at his suggestion being mentioned. "You lot have no patience without one."

"I never have any patience at six in the morning," Sirius grumbled, running a hand through his hair and glaring at Remus for no apparent reason. James's new friends seemed to have a tendency for hating each other. James seemed to have a tendency for being stuck in the middle.

A low whistling noise startled all of them, and a small, reedy looking ghost startled them all by flying out of a nearby wall. "First years!" he gasped, watching Peter grab James's arm in a very non-Gryffindor manner. "Little first years for Peevesy to play with!"

"That's concerning," James whispered to Sirius.

"My family has a lawyer," Sirius whispered back.

"Or we could just hex him," Remus suggested.

Peeves gasped and zoomed around their heads, circling them like a shark circling its prey. James didn't know whether to be scared or amused when it started singing, "Ickle baby first years, ickle baby first years! Ickle baby-"

Remus grabbed his wand from his pocket and flicked it at Peeves. A stream of water flew right through Peeves's translucent eye.

Peeves stopped mid-song, staring at Remus in wonder (along with James, Sirius, and Peter, who looked like he was going to faint). "A smart one!" Peeves exclaimed in amazement. "A smart one, but not a wise one! You don't mess with Peeves without getting-"

Remus shot another stream of water at him, munching on toast as he did so. "Screw off," he said primly.

Sirius's mouth fell open. "I thought you were proper!" he said to Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes as Peeves floundered for words. "I thought you were stupid, and I suppose I was right."

"I hate you," Sirius muttered, comradery forgotten.

Peeves was scrutinizing Remus, looking offended and astounded at the same time. "You're a different kind of first year," he marveled. He looked into Remus's eyes, and all of the sudden his grin came back full-force. "Very different," he whispered, floating closer to Remus and smiling creepily at him. "It's a week away, huh? Is that why you're so aggressive to poor Peevesy?"

Remus didn't shoot water at him that time. He looked like he'd gotten water splashed on his own face.

James didn't know what was happening, but he knew he didn't want Remus looking like that. James Potter was a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors stuck up for their friends. He stepped a little closer to Remus and grabbed his wand. Shooting a small smile at Sirius, he pointed the wand at Peeves and shouted, "Aloha ora!"

Sparks flew at Peeves, and Peeves jumped back enough for Remus to catch his breath that had mysteriously left him. "We'll see you later, Peevesy!" James called, holding his sparking wand menacingly as Peeves slunk away.

Sirius glared at where Peeves had floated in from (Sirius seemed to do a lot of glaring in the morning). "He's a right git," he said, shooting a look at James. "Nice screw-up, James."

"Learned it from you."

Peter looked at Remus out of the corner of his eye and asked, "Are you alright, Remus?"

"What's it to you?" Remus snapped, looking quite a bit paler than he should. James frowned (what had Peeves even said to tick Remus off? James could barely remember) and tried to put fake joviality into his tone. "Come on, lads! It can't be long now, one of these doors has to be the right one..."

Sirius was back to groaning. "Give it up, James," he started, but Remus squinted at the portrait they'd passed, shushing him. "What're you on about?" Sirius asked grumpily.

"Shhhh," Remus said again, nearing the portrait. Some look of understanding passed over his features and he put his hand on the portrait.

It passed right through.

"Brilliant," Peter said in a hushed voice. "Who'd've thought to try the painting? Great, Remus!"

Remus barely reacted to the praise, just stuck his head through the portrait and called, "Yep. This is the way through."

Sirius looked a bit like he'd drank sour milk.

"How'd you do that?" James asked in a whisper as Sirius and Peter passed through the portrait. "I couldn't tell it was there."

A brief look of panic passed over Remus's features. "Saw Peeves come through it," he said. "Just thought it'd be worth a try."

James wondered if that was right, though. He could've sworn Peeves had entered from the opposite wall.

Remus Lupin

Remus hated his werewolf senses.

Usually they weren't a problem- a little heightened hearing here, night vision there- but right before the full moon they gotten ten times worse. And as Peeves had pointed out, the full moon was less than a week away.

He hated that sometimes he could see things other people couldn't, like he had glasses on while everyone else was blind. He hated that sometimes he could sense portraits being transparent, and be so desperate to get to class on time that he forgot other people couldn't.

Maybe that last one had only happened once, but it was still very annoying. There was no way his secret was going to be kept if his friends kept prying.

His 'friends'. James Potter, who thought everyone was his friend, Sirius Black, who hated Remus as much as Remus now hated him, and Peter Pettigrew, whose cousin shoved Remus onto a train. Could he even call them friends, or just leeches that wouldn't leave him alone? Did he even want friends?

The answer should've been obvious. He was a werewolf. He didn't deserve friends.

Even his parents had said so, although they'd said it with as much parental love as they could. They'd tried to stop him from going to Hogwarts when he'd gotten his letter. He still remembered what his dad had finally blurted out, after an hour of fighting with him.

("You're dangerous! You don't want to hurt your friends! You can't have friends!")

"We made it!" James cheered, punching Sirius's shoulder and Remus's for no reason. Peter looked a little left out. Remus told himself he didn't care. "DADA, here we come!"

Sirius wheezed. "DADA? Really, James?"

"That's a rather stupid acronym," Remus admitted stiffly.

"DADA," Peter chimed in unhelpfully.

"Yes, we got that, Peter," James said impatiently. He pushed the door open and said, "Wonder what professor we'll get. My dad said this job's cursed. The teachers never last more than a year."

"They die?" Peter asked in a scared whisper.

"Some of them," James said, clearly happy he was scaring Peter. "Some of them even turn out to be evil!"

Sirius laughed at Peter's terrified face.

Remus didn't know why he was bothering, but he scoffed and said, "I'm sure she's not going to be evil, Pete."

"How d'you know it's a girl?" James asked curiously.

Remus blinked. He'd forgotten to conceal his werewolf senses again. At that rate his secret wouldn't last a day. "Don't," he said quietly. "Just... assumed."

Sirius peeked into the DADA classroom and shrugged. "Blimey, it is a girl," he said, turning to stare at Remus with a hint of suspicion.

Remus felt the tips of his ears turn pink. "Does she look evil?" he asked condescendingly, to ward off suspicions.

Peter peeked through the door as well, and his face went gaunt. "She does!" he exclaimed, looking sick. "She's Professor Elkins, used to be in my mum's knitting club! Merlin, this is gonna be awful-"

James cackled and grabbed Peter's shoulders, pushing the door open and exposing the four of them. "Professor Elkins!" he called. "Ickle Peter wants to ask about your knitting club!"

Sirius laughed and added, "Feel free to share any and all of his baby pictures."

"Sorry we're late," Remus said, trying to direct the attention away from Peter. The class just looked dead to the world. Bored out of their minds.

"It's fine, it's fine!" said professor Elkins in that tired old-lady way. She had poofy grey hair twice the size of her head, and bright red puffy lips that were very plastic-looking. She definitely looked like someone who would run a knitting club. "Peter, darling, I do remember you!"

Sirius elbowed Peter and taunted, "Teacher's pet."

"Take a seat, any seat!" professor Elkins muttered, pulling out- Remus had to blink twice- a giant ball of yarn and her wand. With a flick of her wrist, she started knitting magically and sat back in her chair. The class seemed to emit a groan as one. "I was just telling the class about the curriculum. Curriculum, that's a funny word. You know, I had a teacher once that- I kid you not, young ones- pronounced it as curry-coo-lom. Can you believe that?" she laughed to herself, and Remus groaned internally. "Actually, Peter... I think your mum was in that class as well! That was when she met your father, I do believe..."

Peter turned bright red, and Remus's heart won out as Sirius and James laughed. He grabbed Peter's arm and muttered, "Let's sit in the back, yeah?"

Peter nodded meekly, letting Remus half-drag him to the back of the class to get away from everyone's bored eyes. Professor Elkins droned on and on, occasionally mentioning Peter and tutting when she couldn't see him. James looked imploringly at Remus from the front of the room, and Remus looked away.

"Thanks," Peter said relievedly as they sat down, drowning out Professor Elkins's speech about the pronunciation of curriculum.

"Uh huh," Remus said, looking away and grabbing his notes as a distraction. He started scribbling in the corners so he didn't have to look at Peter.

That was the worst thing about the full moon approaching. He couldn't tell what was right and wrong anymore. It seemed right in the moment to hit Peter's cousin in the face with a suitcase. It seemed right in the moment to hurl insults at Sirius and ignore Peter and James. But he hated that after the moon, he might return to his senses and realize those weren't right, and his only excuse would be I didn't know any better. How sad was that?

"I'm really sorry," Peter said nervously after a few seconds of Ms. Elkins going on and on. "I should've stopped Esteban from pushing you."

Remus paused. "S'okay," he said.

They sat through the rest of the class in silence.

Chapter Text

Sirius Black

Walburga Black grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, shaking him roughly. "You thought you could lie to me?" she asked, voice deadly quiet.

Sirius tried to squirm out of her grip, but she held fast. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want you to be mad."

"Mad?" she mocked. "Mad that you're Gryffindor SCUM?!" she shoved him, letting go of his shoulders and letting him skid across the floor. "You're not worthy of this family. You never have been, and this was the last straw."

"Stop," Sirius mumbled as she grabbed her wand. "Stop, stop, STOP-"

"Alright, mate?" James asked blurrily from a few beds away. "Why'd you scream?"

Sirius wiped the sweat off his forehead. Not again. "Nightmare."

There was some shifting, and for a terrifying second Sirius thought James was about to get up. "What about?" James asked, his voice too nice.

Sirius forced a laugh. He didn't like James sounding that friendly, like Sirius was fragile or something. "Well, there was this guy coming at me," Sirius lied. "He was right ugly, and when he was close enough he got even uglier, and then it turned it out it was you-"

James groaned good-naturedly. "Alright, alright. I got it." The rustling stopped, and Sirius breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Goodnight, ugly."

"Oi!"

"Shut up, both of you," Remus hissed from the bed to Sirius's left. "I'm exhausted."

"Aww, does ickle Remus need his beauty sleep?" James joked.

"He really does need beauty sleep," Sirius muttered, smiling at his own cleverness.

"Can it, Sirius," Remus said tiredly, turning over in his bed. Sirius closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, glad he'd mostly forgotten about the nightmare.

"So everyone is awake, right?" Peter asked unsurely.

They all groaned. "Merlin, Pettigrew," Sirius remarked, rolling his eyes. "I was almost asleep."

"You sure do know the worst times to jump in," James added.

"It's fine, Pete," Remus said quickly. Sirius wondered why he was showing Peter such restraint- the same Remus that tried to bite Sirius's head off every time they spoke. "We're awake."

"Okay," Peter said quietly, sounding noticeably subdued since they'd screamed at him. "It's just... I was up doing my transfiguration homework and I could use some help."

"Come off it, Pete," James said surprisedly. "It's been two days. No one's been given homework."

"He probably needs extra work," Sirius snickered, drunk off his own smartness.

"I've had just about enough of you," Remus said angrily to Sirius. Leave it to princess Remus Lupin to be prim and pissed all at once. "I'll help you, Peter. You just need more practice, that's all."

"A lot more practice," Sirius muttered, because ticking off Remus was fun.

James seemed intently quiet. Sirius wondered if he was asleep, and was about to chuck a pillow at his head when he spoke suddenly. "Since we're all awake, shouldn't we be doing something fun?" he whined.

Sirius sat up, listening to Remus pad over to Peter's bed to help him. "Those two won't be up for it."

"Hey, I'll be up for it!" Peter protested. Sirius kind of liked how easily he could make Peter scared. Peter didn't even know what 'it' was yet.

Remus yawned. "I most certainly will not. You lot have fun. Pete, I'll help you tomorrow if you're going to be up with those two."

Remus's 'those two' had different connotations than Sirius's, but they both were negative. Sirius opened his mouth to angrily retort, but James cast a lumos and the room was lit faintly.

Remus sighed. "Really, James."

"Yes," James said firmly. Sirius pulled back his curtains in the light and saw that James was already hanging off the edge of his bed, brushing the floor with his hands and grinning stupidly at the lot of them. "We need to do something worthwhile with our time, not stupid homework."

"So homework now isn't worthwhile?" Remus asked.

"Yes," James repeated, and Sirius giggled. James hung off the foot of his bed, hair almost touching the ground. "I'm serious," he whined.

Sirius saw his perfect opportunity. "No, I am!" he accused, flopping sideways on his bed and stifling laughter.

James groaned good-naturedly. "You need a new name, mate," he complained. There was a thump, and Sirius yelped as James tumbled out of his bed and shot up still smiling. "Soooooo," James drawled, jumping over to Sirius's bed and pulling back the curtains excitedly. "What can we do?"

Remus sighed a sigh far too mature for an eleven-year-old. "I'm going to sleep," he said, pushing around James.

Why did Remus have to ruin all their fun? Sirius rolled his eyes and told James, "We don't need him, c'mon."

James looked like a kicked puppy. "You sure, Remus?" he called.

Remus already had one foot under his covers. He gave James a deadpan stare and said, "What do you think?"

Sirius really didn't like Remus Lupin.

"We could have a sleepover," Peter suggested meekly.

Sirius didn't like Peter Pettigrew much, either. What kind of idea was that? Was he trying to make fun of Sirius having a nightmare?

Sirius opened his mouth to object and probably insult Peter to tears, but James got a stupid James-like grin on his face. "Girly words, but good idea," James conceded, reaching up to scratch his chin like Sirius's dad would do. Except James didn't have a beard, and he was making an overly-exaggerated wise face. Sirius stifled another laugh, insulting Peter forgotten.

"We'd need snacks," James continued, and Peter's round face lit up. "Loooootttss of snacks."

"Where on Earth are you going to get snacks in our dorm room?" Remus scoffed, now cocooning himself in blankets.

Sirius had a brilliant idea. It wasn't an idea his parents would approve of in the slightest, of course. But it was an idea he thought James would approve of, and James was a lot more fun than Sirius's parents.

"We could sneak down to the kitchen," he whispered conspiratorially.

Remus froze mid-cocoon. "Pardon?"

James's light went dark, and Sirius's eyes were still adjusting to the darkness when he felt a heavy lump land next to him, almost crushing him. "Perfect!" James exclaimed, shaking Sirius's shoulders.

Sirius shoved James half-heartedly and sat up. "We just have to avoid Filch," Sirius said, the ideas flowing quicker. He swung out of bed and James followed seconds after. "Remus knows his way around the school pretty well."

"I do not," Remus said crossly. Sirius huffed; glad Remus couldn't see his face. I was paying you a COMPLIMENT!

"You do, kind of," Peter piped up, clambering off his bed to stumble after the silhouettes of James and Sirius. "You found that secret doorway to Professor Elkins's room a week ago-"

"I didn't find it," Remus countered, and Sirius heard him finally get out of bed to follow James's pacing line. "I saw Peeves go through it, I already said-"

"That's alright!" James said hastily. He gripped Sirius's arm. "Let's do it, then! To the kitchens, mates!"

"I never agreed to this," Remus said primly, but he followed the three out of the room anyways. Sirius grinned, because this was a lot more fun than listening to his parents.

James Potter

James knew immediately that he wanted to know every nook and cranny in Hogwarts.

It had only been a week, but already he was curious about the never-ending hallways and shifting staircases and magic portraits. How did they work? Was there a way to map it all? Most importantly, were there any awesome secret passages James could exploit?

On his left side, Peter was yawning. "When are we getting to the kitchens?" he asked through it.

James wanted to know every nook and cranny of Hogwarts, but he had to admit it hadn't happened yet.

Remus, from somewhere behind them, whispered, "It's not too late to go back to bed. Where it's safe."

James suppressed a scoff. He liked Remus okay, but the guy could be a downer. He seemed more like a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor most days. "Who needs safety when you could have adventure?" James asked excitedly, forcing his eyes to open wider as they travelled down what surely was the hallway leading to the kitchens. He passed a painting of a pear and added, "Right, Sirius?"

Sirius grunted, and James frowned. In the two-and-a-half days he'd known Sirius, he hadn't seemed like the type to grunt noncommittally at things. Sirius always had an opinion. "Sirius?" James tried again, looking to his right.

Sirius grunted again, and James realized it was a snore.

"Aw, mate," James groaned, raking a hand through his hair and prodding Sirius's shoulder. "Are you honestly sleep-stumbling right now?"

Remus laughed, possibly for the first time all night.

"I suppose we should wake him up," Peter said, but he didn't sound all too convinced. James could've sworn Peter was scared of him and Sirius. It was weird.

James leaned forwards and prodded Sirius's shoulder, harder that time. "C'mon, Sirius," he whinged, poking a bit harder at his shoulder. "We're probably almost there."

He must've poked a bit too hard, because Sirius stumbled backwards and started a slow, sleep-addled fall towards Remus. Remus, with reflexes so fast James thought he was possessed, leaped out of the way in possibly the least Gryffindor thing James had ever seen.

"Remus!" James hissed, whipping around to catch Sirius mid-fall. Sirius mumbled something nonsensical and stumbled back some more, right towards the pear painting.

"He's gonna tear it!" Peter whispered, eyes blown comically wide from fear.

James could only watch as Sirius fell towards the painting... hit it...

Did the pear laugh?

Sirius's back hit the painting and he slid down it. The pear started laughing daintily, which was not how James had ever thought to describe a pear.

James's mind put things together rather quickly. They were in the general direction of the kitchens, Hogwarts had paintings that could be doorways, a pear was a kitchen item...

"Brilliant," James whispered.

Peter looked like he was going to have an aneurism. He had maneuvered himself so he was gripping Remus's shoulder for support, and James noticed Remus wasn't leaping out of the way for Peter. "What's brilliant?" Peter asked, voice shrill and horrified. "Fruit laughing at us? What if it's a banshee?"

"Catch yourself on," Remus said, shaking Peter's hand off. James could tell he'd figured it out as well. "It's fine, Pete. Sirius just found the kitchens."

Sirius snored, per way of celebration. James stopped himself mid-whoop, exhilaration swooping through him. So that was what it felt like to manage some mischief. He should do that more often.

No, they should.

James prodded Sirius awake, safely that time, as the pear painting slid open to reveal the kitchens. Sirius rubbed at his eyes and slurred, "Why're there tiny people?"

"Elves, Sirius," Remus said tiredly, moving to stand next to James. "They're elves."

Peter stood on Sirius's other side, and James elbowed Sirius's shoulder (not Remus's, because Remus didn't like being touched). They stood in front of the doorway feeling victorious until James finally said, "How much food can we carry?"

Peter looked like he was in his element. He looked over at James with an eager smile on his face. "So much."

A few minutes later, they had smuggled at least five bags of desserts out of the kitchens. James scanned the hallways as they made their way back, careful to mentally note where the kitchens were for later.

They were right next to the Gryffindor portrait when they heard a faint mew.

Peter almost dropped the bagel he was holding. "What was that?" he quivered.

Sirius's eyes were darting around, looking for the source of the noise. "Filch's cat," he whispered finally.

James gulped, bringing his eyes to the end of the hallway to see a pair of glowing yellow eyes.

"Run," he ordered, and chaos emerged.

Peter indeed dropped the bagel, choosing his life instead as he stupidly grabbed at the edge of the Gryffindor portrait. The Fat Lady woke up with a disgruntled 'wassat?' and began going on a rather rude rant as she saw four members of her house out of curfew. Sirius was yelling the password at her, but she was too deep in the rant to respond. James smiled nervously at the approaching yellow eyes and called, "Back, kitty."

But the cat didn't go back. It just approached, looking for its next victim- and it pounced on Remus.

James might've shrieked, just a little. Sirius stopped shouting passwords at the Fat Lady and just stared. Peter made an embarrassing little squeak like a rat, and James made a mental note to tease him about it later.

Remus took the cat off of him and... Ms. Norris just sat there? James blinked, but it was still the same: Ms. Norris, limp as Remus held her at arms' length, her meowing at him like she wanted to play with him and not eat him.

"What?" James asked quietly.

Ms. Norris hissed at him and went back to meowing at Remus. Remus met James's eyes and mouthed "Get inside."

For a second James hesitated. After all, Ms. Norris was notorious for notifying Filch of student's locations. Remus could get expelled! But Ms. Norris seemed perfectly content, and Remus was telling him to go. And maybe James was a little afraid of Ms. Norris. Just a little.

"Let's go," James told Sirius and Peter, jutting his chin towards the reluctantly open portrait door.

There was no hesitation in the way Peter flew up those steps, almost dropping another bagel on his way. Sirius was quick after him. James stopped, hand on the Fat Lady, and considered going back.

"I'm fine, James," Remus said in his ear.

James almost shrieked again. He swung around with a hand on the portrait door to face Remus, gawping. "I thought she'd kill you!"

Remus laughed, although his face looked weirdly pale. "Animals like me. Dunno why, I've never even had a pet before."

That was most definitely odd- especially because Ms. Norris was good at hating people she was supposed to love. James raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to ask a question, but he didn't even know what to ask. James Potter, speechless.

"It's a good thing you snuck out with us tonight," he finally said, grinning stupidly.

Remus smiled back, and James celebrated inwardly and gestured grandly towards the common room. "Midnight snacks await, Lupin!" he said dramatically, waving Remus through the door.

Remus Lupin

Remus very much regretted staying up the night before the full moon.

Of course he'd known it was a bad idea. Of course he'd warned himself against it half a million times before agreeing to do the stupid midnight snack thing. But Remus's senses of right and wrong were blurred before the full moon, and at the time it had seemed perfectly right to sneak out for food at three AM with... not his 'friends', but definitely acquaintances. Remus had never had acquaintances before, minus his parents. (And they didn't count, considering they were acquainted to him before he could walk.)

It felt nice to have acquaintances, but it didn't feel nice to wake up after getting four hours of sleep because of said acquaintances.

"A-are you feeling okay?" Peter asked earnestly on their way to transfiguration. "You look all pale."

No. It was the day before the full moon, and Remus was going to pass out before he even got to McGonagall's class.

"M'fine," he lied, because if he didn't lie then Peter was bound to panic. "Just tired."

Peter had dark circles under his own eyes, and it was obvious he was worn out from the excitement of sneaking to the kitchens. He fiddled nervously with his bookbag's strap as James called, "This way, I'm sure of it!"

"You are not," came Sirius's faint retort from his right-hand.

"Am too, I have a knack for geography!"

"Yeah, like that time you lost your way to the kitchens and I had to scratch a pear in my sleep to save you?"

"You're putting that way out of context-"

Remus thought about joining the conversation, but Peter looked so miserable at the quick-paced banter that he stopped himself. The two walked followed James and Sirius in silence, Remus's joints protesting with every step.

"What's your favorite subject?" Peter asked Remus suddenly, face going bright red.

Remus almost stopped at the abrupt question, but kept walking as Peter looked like he was going to cry if there was no response. "Herbology," he said, unsure where this was going. "Why?"

Peter's shoe scuffed the floor as they walked, and he fiddled even more with his backpack strap. Nervous ticks. "I didn't know what else to say," he admitted, seeming to brace himself.

That was probably where James or Sirius would tease him half to death. Actually, Remus had a few good responses to that that he'd love to test out. But Peter honestly looked so scared, so Remus just smiled a little and said, "What's yours?"

"Any subject I pass at this rate," he mumbled.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "I could tutor you, if you want," he offered, not quite knowing what he was saying. "I dunno how good I'll be, but-"

"Yes please," Peter said urgently, lowering his voice so James and Sirius couldn't hear. "I can't understand any of it; this whole magic concept just hurts my brain."

What brain? said the snotty part of Remus's mind. But that was full moon, snarky Remus talking. Full moon, snarky Remus didn't have acquaintances, and Real Remus liked having acquaintances. "I bet you just need it explained a different way," he assured. "We'll work on whatever homework McGonagall gives on... um, Sunday?"

"Why not tomorrow?" Peter asked, a crease forming in his brow.

Remus could already tell Peter was worried Remus didn't want to work with him, so he hastily said, "I'm just visiting my family, that's all."

"After only the first week?" he asked, though noticeably relieved.

"My parents are very clingy," Remus half-lied, and Peter giggled a little.

McGonagall's class was nerve-wracking per usual. The teacher had spent the first day firmly lecturing them on the purpose of transfiguration in the magical world, and the second day talking about her expectations for Gryffindor house. James and Sirius had been taking notes that whole day, making sure they would do just the opposite of what she wanted.

Sirius and James were currently leaning back in their chairs, throwing paper balls at Remus from the back of the room. Peter was with them, having chosen to sit with them over Remus the first day (prat, thought Remus's full moon snarky mind). Remus was sitting next to Lily Evans, who was taking notes like a maniac as McGonagall lectured.

A paper ball hit the back of Lily's head, and Lily's head whipped around to glare at James and Sirius, nearly smacking Remus in the face with her red hair in the process. "Immature," she sniffed, going back to her work.

Remus would rather be immature than taking notes in Professor McGonagall's class, but maybe that was full moon Remus talking.

"Transfiguration," McGonagall was saying, "Begins with the simple subject of matter. You learned about it in primary school, I imagine- that matter takes up everything..."

Merlin, Lily was actually writing that down. Remus looked at his own page of diligent but not that diligent notes and felt very confused.

A paper ball hit the back of his neck, and his senses exploded.

The crunching sound it made hitting Remus, ringing in his ears. The pulsing torch lights. The way the paper felt on his skin, itching at him, scratching at his skin. McGonagall's voice talking about matter, ringing and ringing and SO LOUD-

"Mr. Lupin?" McGonagall asked, pausing mid-lecture to shoot Remus a look that seared into his skin. "Are you feeling alright?"

Remus realized that he was burying his face in his hands, and tried to sit up. "M'fine," he lied for the second time that day.

McGonagall looked thoroughly unconvinced. Remus hated how she was looking at him: like he was fragile. She knew what he was and she was pitying him. Remus hated it, just like he hated how loud her voice was when she said, "I think you need to visit Madame Pomphrey, Lupin."

Everyone's eyes were on him, and it was so much. They were burning Remus, making him feel like a creature being gawked at in a zoo. He hated being pitied, and he hated being pitied in front of everyone.

For a second, Remus thought about telling McGonagall off. But that wasn't the right thing to do, and he'd likely get a detention. A werewolf in detention? He'd be kicked out the next day.

"Yes, professor," he whispered, ignoring Lily's quiet "What's wrong?" as he got up and headed up the aisle to the door. A few whispers caught his attention. He heard the words 'hope he doesn't hurl' and 'looks green'. Oh dear, was he? That was never a good sign.

Sirius's pale hand reached out of the last row to grab Remus's wrist, stopping him with a grip that shouldn't have felt so suffocating. Sirius looked imploringly at Remus, James and Peter right behind him, and asked, "D'you want us to walk you?"

Remus hated Sirius Black. He didn't know exactly why (although there were admittedly reasons to choose from), but he did. And his anger at being touched and being pitied and the stupid full moon combined into one as he wrenched his arm out of Sirius's grip and hissed, "I don't need your help. Leave me alone and piss off!"

He'd deal with the repercussions of that later.

Peter Pettigrew

It had been two days, and Remus still wasn't back.

Professor Slughorn commented on it a bit too much for Peter's liking. "Mr. Lupin, gone already," Slughorn chortled as he marked his attendance list. "I suppose Mr. Potter and Black will have to make up for his alchemist skills, hm?"

Peter looked at James and Sirius, perfectly aware that they had at least Remus's brains and absolutely no intention of using it for potions.

After a few more minutes of Slughorn laughing and teasing the students about nothing in particular, he finally got to the point and told the students to pair up. Peter allowed himself a justifiable amount of panic- the last week, Remus had paired with him out of pity so now Peter didn't even have a pity-partner. He scanned the room for people to partner with and found all the students already paired up.

Slughorn had a good laugh over that. He slapped Peter good-naturedly on the back, smile in his voice as he asked, "No partner, my boy? We'll just have to have you third-wheel a pair!" He laughed, sound booming in Peter's ear, and Peter's face turned bright red. Slughorn's arm was tight around his shoulders as he addressed the class, parading Peter to the front of the room. "Who's willing to take Pettigrew?" Slughorn shouted happily, seeming overjoyed in Peter's humiliation.

The class was embarrassingly silent, staring at Peter from their own pairs. Peter very much wanted to die.

James's arm was propped on Sirius's shoulder, despite the fact that they were the same height. "He's with us, professor!" he called lazily, using his other hand to beckon Peter forward.

Sirius laughed. As Slughorn released him, Peter couldn't tell this was better or worse.

A few minutes later, Peter was furiously reading the instructions to the potion they were making while James and Sirius rummaged for things to blow up.

"We could do the frog-legs," Sirius suggested, as James threw open the potion drawer.

"We blew up the frog-legs Wednesday, though!" James whined, absentmindedly tossing a jar of bug-eyes over his shoulder (which Peter then fumbled). "New week, new start! Pete, any ideas?"

After the Slughorn debacle, Peter's mind was running about like a muggle car that had been driven from Scotland to England in one go- barely functioning and probably on fire. "I- what?"

He could almost hear Sirius's eyeroll. "He's got nothing," Sirius scoffed. "We could try the cauldron, James."

"Well of course the cauldron's got to blow up, Sirius, that's how we'll know we did it right-"

And just like that, James and Sirius were back in their own world, completely ignoring Peter. Peter looked down at the instructions once again, shame pricking at his eyes. He hated how he couldn't make friends, how his brain shut down when people spoke to him.

"Are you alright?" a shy girl's voice asked him.

Peter jumped, not used to having conversation willingly directed his way. "Y-yes?"

He looked up and saw that the girl was Lily Evans, one of the people Remus liked hanging out with more than him (surprise surprise). She was smiling bemusedly, and Peter kicked into damage-control mode. "It's just, um..." he stuttered, "I was trying to read the instructions to make the potion and I got really confused and James and Sirius aren't helping- which, I didn't mean they're lazy! Just-"

Lily seemed offended enough at the words 'James and Sirius' to ignore Peter's word-vomit. "They're so annoying," she whispered, her green eyes darting towards Sirius and James cackling like hyenas near the potions drawer. "No common sense between the two."

"They really are brilliant, though," Peter defended, because James and Sirius were probably the closest things to 'friends' that he had.

Lily dropped a bit of her friendly demeanor at that. "Anyways," she said haltingly, pointing awkwardly at the counter behind him. "I just needed the vial of water, you spilled some-"

"Oh, right." Peter practically leaped out of the way.

"Soooo," Sirius drawled after Lily had collected the bug-eyes and scurried off. He walked next to Peter and leaned on the counter on his right side, James next to him. "We've come to the conclusion that this is a waste of time."

"It was a simple conclusion," James said matter-of-factly.

Peter blinked, and looked down at the instructions so he wouldn't have to look at them. "Y-you're not going to make the potion?"

"We're not going to make the potion!" Sirius amended cheerfully, and Peter felt a hand clap his shoulder. "We're thinking of going to mess with Snape's potions instead. He deserves it, you should've seen the way he was glaring at James-"

"He looked like he wanted to throw me out the window," James said gravely.

Peter's head was spinning. On the one hand, James and Sirius were basically ditching class. They were going to sabotage someone's potion just because he looked at them funny.

But on the other hand, they wanted Peter to join them.

Peter looked down at the instructions. Remus probably would've told them off; that's what it seemed Remus was best at. Lily would've called them immature- even Slughorn would've stood his ground.

But Peter caved. And in the face of two things Peter Pettigrew didn't want to do, he made a third thing that he definitely, definitely didn't want to do:

"I could stay here and make the potion!" he offered nervously. "You could come back when Slughorn comes around, pretend you made it... we'll get full marks and everything."

Sirius looked as though Christmas had come early. "That is class!" he said surprisedly, looking down at Peter with the air of a proud brother. "You're sure you're smart enough to work it out?"

No. "Yeah, 'course."

James looked unsure. He poked his head over Sirius's shoulder and told Peter, "You could come with us, mate. We could use the help."

Peter wouldn't be much help, anyways. "No- no it's fine! I can probably figure it out-"

And they were gone.

Peter sighed and got to work on the potion.

He wished he had Remus to help him. Even after Remus had told all of them to piss off three days ago, he was a better alternative to Peter sitting by himself, trying to figure out how many cups of dragon's breath to add to the stupid tranquil potion. He could see James and Sirius tormenting Severus, Lily Evans furiously telling them off.

Peter wished he could be with them, or Lily, or even Snape. He wished he could be somewhere.

He was so busy staring at them that he didn't notice when the potion started making a noise like it was trying to come alive. It made a weird noise like 'mrggh' and bubbled menacingly, and Peter finally turned to look at it. He was fairly sure it wasn't supposed to do that.

He looked for Slughorn, but decided all he would get was more ridicule. Lily Evans seemed like his best bet, so he maneuvered his way across the room to where Lily was shouting at Potter and Black.

"I can't believe you two!" she was saying, her face as red as her hair. "Severus and I worked for ages on that potion, and-"

'Mrgggg', said Peter's monstrosity, louder that time.

Lily was too deep in her rant to notice, but Sirius turned around to face Peter's terrified face. "Lemme see," he ordered immediately.

Peter led Sirius over to the cauldron, which seemed to be taking shape. Sirius inspected it, pursing his lips over-exaggeratedly. "Can you fix it?" Peter asked desperately.

Sirius guffawed. "I'm only over here to get away from Lily," he said, like it was obvious. "That is mighty concerning, though. Have you tried teaching it to assimilate to the wizarding race?"

"It's not funny," Peter said, his voice growing shriller with panic. "Slughorn is going to fail us, and he already doesn't like me because I don't laugh at his jokes and-"

"Crickey, Pete," Sirius said, waving his hands in front of Peter's face to snap him out of it. Peter tried to calm himself as Sirius continued, "What do you want me to do, anyways? I know some advanced magic, but it's all like, lighting things on fire."

Of course that was the type of magic that Sirius and James would learn. Peter wished he knew any spells, anything to stop the 'mrgggghs' emitting from his cauldron. "Ask James," Peter pleaded, almost clasping his hands together in desperation.

"Alright, don't blow a fuse," Sirius said lazily, slowly wheeling around to shout, "Oi, James! Peter's potion is talking!"

That got the attention of about half the class. Lily, who was still ranting angrily at James while Severus mourned his potion, looked at Sirius in disbelief. "Do you think I care about your potion after what you did to ours?!" she yelled indignantly.

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "Is it making that bubbling noise too?" he asked curiously.

Sirius inspected the cauldron, finally nodding. "Yep, the very one."

Lily groaned. "Shut up!"

"I'll shut up when the cauldron does!" Sirius called, getting agitated. Peter surveyed the chaos and prayed it would resolve itself. "What should I do to fix it, Ja-"

"LIGHT IT ON FIRE, FOR ALL I CARE!" Lily shrieked, hair flying in her face as she stomped her foot.

Peter gulped, because that was all the encouragement Sirius needed.

Seconds later, Peter's talking creation was dead and aflame, and the class was in chaos. "I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY!" Lily shouted, wrapping her arms around her own cauldron as Snape dragged her to safety.

Sirius was on top of a chair, crossing his arms and looking righteously defensive. "THEN YOU SHOULD'VE SPECIFIED!"

Peter was staring. The flame was spreading, and Slughorn was shouting at people to stay calm, but he was across the room. He wouldn't make it before the fire did a lot of damage.

"HOW DO YOU PUT FIRE OUT?" James shrieked, knocking over a chair in his attempt to back away. "WHAT'S THE SPELL FOR IT?"

Peter wished he knew spells like the rest of the students at Hogwarts. He wished he could put out the fire that he'd kind-of-ish started-

But he didn't need a spell to put out the fire. He needed water.

"Lily!" he shouted over the chaos. "The vial!"

Realization dawned in her eyes, and she pulled the vial out of her pocket- thankfully only half used. She tossed it to Peter-

And alright, Peter fumbled it and it crashed. But it crashed all over the fire.

Within seconds, the fire was back to a manageable torch instead of an inferno. Slughorn quickly put the rest of it out and turned to James and Sirius, who had made themselves likely perpetrators based on their behavior the past week. "Detention, both of you!" he barked. "And ten points from Gryffindor, what were you two thinking-"

"We almost died," James whispered. The classroom went quiet.

He looked at Sirius, and a stupid grin spread over his face. "WE ALMOST DIED!"

"YEAH!" Sirius yelled, pumping his fists in the air. He reached over to Peter, and Peter shied away but Sirius just put an arm around him and shook him roughly, laughing. "Pettigrew, that was brilliant! Never seen anything like it!"

Slughorn narrowed his eyes. "Dying is nothing to be happy about-" he started.

"No, but almost-dying is!" James cheered, high-fiving Sirius. "Right, Pettigrew?"

Peter looked at the mess around him and felt... a little giddy. That was kinda fun, actually.

"That was awesome," he said, and he didn't stutter once.

Chapter Text

James Potter

It was the next week, and James was bored.

He liked his roommates, but the downside was that they didn't seem to like each other. Remus had gotten back Tuesday (with a mysterious paleness to him that James didn't understand), and barely said anything to them all week. Sirius was spending his free time complaining about Remus, and Peter was nervously agreeing with anything and everything said.

So it was no wonder James was bored. His roommates were sitting in their separate beds, doing their own thing, and it was dead silent.

James flopped around on his bed, because there wasn't anything else to do. "Your mum hasn't killed you yet, Sirius," he observed.

Sirius froze where he'd been tossing a quill up and down, looking spotlighted. "Seems so," he mustered finally.

James wondered what was up with that, but since Remus and Peter were dead-set on staying but not talking, he'd have to ask later.

"Right," James said, stretching and swinging his legs off the bed. "I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" Peter asked, looking up at James with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"Away from you lot," James said cheerily, and Peter deflated. "I don't think anyone besides me has spoken in... thirty minutes?"

"Forty-seven," Remus muttered from his bed, turning his transfiguration paper over.

James sighed. "See? You lot are being a bit boring, no offense."

"It's not my fault the princess has to do his homework on a Monday," Sirius protested.

Remus shot him a murderous look. "It's not my fault my parents are overprotective."

"Who brings their kid home the first week-"

"Aaaaand goodbye," James called, deftly jumping over Sirius's pile of laundry on his way out.

He was getting better at navigating the school- something he was very proud of. He only got lost three times on the way to the owlery instead of five like last week, and a quick 'aloha ora' spell on Peeves got him to go away before he could trick James into going into the teacher's lounge. (Although the teacher's lounge would be fun to sneak into. James made himself a mental note for later.)

In fifteen minutes (new record!) he was at the owlery. He'd been hoping it would be full of people to talk to, because he was bored and his dormmates were boring. But apparently you had to be careful what you wished for, because the people in the owlery were Lily Evans and Snivillous Snape. They were hunched over Snape's owl, chattering about his parents or something.

James put on his best can't you tell I'm trying to be friendly face and said loudly, "Hullo, Evans!"

Lily jumped and nearly kicked the owl out of the window. Snape snapped his neck turning around to glare at James and hissed, "What're you doing here?"

James wondered what it looked like, considering he was in an owlery. "I got hungry and reckoned I'd eat some chap's owl," he said brightly, grinning as Lily rolled her eyes. "What does it look like, Sev?"

Snape's hair had to have won a record for World's Greasiest Style. He ran a hand through it (James cringed) and said haughtily, "Only Lily's allowed to call me that."

James shrugged, starting towards them just to make Snape offended. "Alright, Snivillous."

Lily shook her head and tugged on Severus's arm. "Let's just go, Sev," she pleaded.

Severus shook her off and sent his owl away with one swift move. James wondered if he was going to play Quidditch next year. "You'd best be careful, Potter," he whispered, sounding about what an eleven-year-old trying to be threatening sounds like. "I've heard all about your family."

That was a first. James's parents never really told him about the wizarding drama- he hadn't even known there was a war going on until he'd nicked his mum's newspaper- so he didn't really know what Severus was talking about. "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

Lily looked a bit nervous. "Let's go-"

"Muggle lovers," Severus hissed, stepping closer to James so they were only a foot apart. "Blood traitors. You're lucky they even let you into Hogwarts, considering the only magic your dad is capable of is making hair products."

James was confused. He'd never heard anyone talk bad about his parents before. Why was Severus looking at him like he was scum; like he was lower than Severus because his parents defended non-magical people?

He didn't know, but he still felt anger building up in his system at those words. He reached a hand out and shoved Severus back a little. "You could use some of my dad's hair products," he simply noted.

Severus went bright red and stormed out without a word. James breathed a sigh of relief, tucking away the confusion for later. Good save, Potter.

He turned to find his owl, only to see Lily still standing in shock. "Alright, Evans?" he asked awkwardly, stepping around her in search for Richard.

"He... he's not usually like that," Lily said lamely.

"Maybe he shouldn't ever be like that," he said stiffly, reaching up to grab Richard's cage.

"He's got a lot going on," Lily defended, moving closer to him. "Careful, my owl's right next to yours."

"Poor thing," James whispered to Lily's amber owl, avoiding Richard's beak as he pulled the owl off the shelf. "And have you ever thought that Snape's just a git-"

SCREEEEEECH! screamed Lily's owl.

Lily covered her ears, and James surprisedly put Richard back. Immediately, the screeching stopped.

James curiously picked Richard up again.

SCREEEEEEEEEECH-

"Oh, no!" Lily groaned over the noise, glaring in disdain as James quickly put Richard back. "They're friends."

"Do friends usually screech when the other leaves?" James quipped, quite agitated from Snape and the noise.

"August is sensitive," Lily defended crisply.

James looked at her, all red with her arms crossed over her chest, and busted out laughing. "You named your owl August?"

"You named yours Richard!" she retorted shrilly.

"No, my dad did," James corrected, not wanting anyone to think he'd picked anything of Richard's. "He said it was because his coworker Richard would bite your head off, and so would the owl. So at least my name makes sense."

"I got August in August," Lily snapped, turning her nose up at him.

"That's even worse," James wheezed, slapping his knee.

There was a moment of silence- because it was awkward laughing by yourself while someone stares snottily at you- and Lily finally asked, "What are we to do now?"

James looked at their two owls- August looking quite protective and Richard looking quite smug. "Write our letters at the same time?"

Lily groaned.

"It's not my fault your owl is weird."

Lily reached into her pocket, and for a second James thought she was going to grab her wand and hex him. But then she grabbed a piece of parchment and shoved it at him. It hit him square in the chest and he barely caught it before it fluttered off in the wind.

"You're so immature, James Potter," she said in an all-suffering tone, grabbing a paper for herself and grumpily sitting on the stone floor to write.

Remus Lupin

"Where've you been?" Lily Evans asked as Remus sat down in McGonagall's class, ignoring Peter and Sirius and James sitting in their own area.

Remus pulled out his textbook and shrugged idly. "Visiting parents."

"Already?"

Remus hated lying. "Yeah," he lied anyways. "They're overprotective."

"Tell me about it," Lily groaned, shaking her head as McGonagall swooped into the class. "My parents wouldn't have me going here if they had their way. Muggles, you know."

Remus's parents didn't want him there either, so he figured he should tell the truth while he could. "I had to write an essay to convince mine," he said, lowering his voice as the class died down. "Some kids convince their parents to buy them a pet. I convince them to let me go to school."

Lily's laugh sounded a lot better than her insults- ringing and cheerful. "I made a whole presentation. We have a lot in common."

Except for our acquaintances, Remus thought to himself, but he didn't say that.

McGonagall cleared her throat. "If you will open your textbooks, I'll take roll," she announced. Her eyes narrowed though her spectacles and she added, "And if Mr. Potter and Mr. Black could stop balancing their parchment on Mr. Pettigrew's head, that would be even better."

"But Professor!" James said in an all-suffering tone. "We're stimulating our minds! This is how we learn!"

Remus could've sworn McGonagall refrained from rolling her eyes. "Well, Mr. Potter, that clashes with how I teach. I'm not having you turn out like the last group of Gryffindors-"

"Ooooh, what'd they do?" Sirius asked eagerly. Remus heard a few people shift in their seats and saw even Lily was interested.

McGonagall seemed to realize she'd just played herself, because her mouth set itself in a straight line before she said, "A number of things. Antagonizing their professors, for one-"

"It's too late not to do that," James dismissed.

"And the amount of house points they deducted-!" McGonagall shook her head, her ridiculous green hat bobbing up and down with her. "We got last place all seven years they were here. The pranks they pulled..."

Remus heard Sirius excitedly whisper to James, "We can do pranks!"

Remus groaned to himself.

"Anyways," McGonagall said firmly, but the damage was done. Remus could almost feel the energy coming off of Sirius and James, and he knew Peter would go along with it. McGonagall had just created her own worst enemy. "Open your textbooks, and... Mr. Lupin, if I could have a word."

The class fell dead silent, and Remus felt all eyes on him. They pricked at his skin, tearing at him. He'd never been around this many people in his life, and it was so incredibly taxing.

"Go on," Lily encouraged lightly, tapping his shoulder a little.

That touch was all he needed to get himself up and away from her hand, across the room to meet McGonagall at her desk. "Professor?" Remus asked nervously, hoping she wouldn't call him to the hospital wing again.

Professor McGonagall seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "I just wanted to apologize for last Friday," she said stiffly, and Remus had a feeling she didn't 'apologize' often. "I did not know that you would get so... uncomfortable... with the eyes on you."

Remus remembered his outburst and felt a bit ashamed. His acquaintances still hadn't forgiven him for that. "It's alright," he said quickly, shifting awkwardly. "I... I didn't know you were going to say it, that's all."

McGonagall smiled thinly and pushed her glasses up, looking at him with a sort of set idea in her expression. "Maybe we've both been bad at communicating," she suggested. "We're rather new at... this, after all."

Remus wondered what she meant about her being new at this- then he remembered that Professor McGonagall had never taught a werewolf before. No one at Hogwarts had ever taught a werewolf before.

"Okay," he conceded, smiling a little. "Thanks."

***

Remus couldn't sleep again.

He hated it when his senses kept him up all night. It seemed like sometimes everything was amplified, and sleeping in a room with three other people just made everything worse. He could hear every time Peter snored, every time James muttered in his sleep. Every turn and rustle of the bedsheets was amplified, echoing in his ears.

He hated it.

He finally had enough and got up, swinging his legs over to the edge of his bed to make some tea. Tea always calmed him down when he was anxious. His mum had made it for him since he'd been bitten, and it was always the exact same recipe. Rosehip tea, cup half full, exactly the right amount of warmth and with a single peppermint in it. The familiarity of it always calmed him down, without fail.

Did he feel like a baby packing Rosehip tea packets in his trunk, along with mugs carefully wrapped in cloth? Yes. Did his mum insist he bring it anyways? Yes.

And fine, he was glad she did.

Remus knew the spell for warming the tea by heart- he'd made it about eighty times. It was just warming up perfectly when he heard a small sniffle, then a rustle of sheets.

"Stupid hat," Sirius's voice muttered, almost silently. He sounded pained. Remus wondered what was wrong.

Then he remembered that he didn't like Sirius Black.

Remus watched in the darkness as Sirius stumbled over to the door. It was tormenting, watching him hit every obstacle there was to hit, and finally Remus had to intervene. "You're about to hit the wall," he observed in a hoarse whisper.

Sirius jumped about a foot, almost running into Remus's bed. He wheeled around to face Remus, and Remus saw that his face was stained with tears in the dark. "What d'you want, Lupin?" he said harshly.

Remus was reminded of a Devil's Snare (one of his favorite plants to learn about). When it felt threatened, it did the only thing it knew how to do- it squeezed the fight out of you, fighting and fighting until you were dead and it wasn't threatened anymore. The only way to stop it was to stop fighting back.

Remus slowly stood up, and looked at the tea in his hands. He could deal with insomnia, but it seemed like Sirius Black couldn't deal with whatever this was.

He held it out, slowly. Not fighting. "D'you want to talk?"

Sirius sniffled again. It was increasingly obvious that he was crying, but Remus didn't point that out.

Sirius's hands shakily reached out and took the mug, jumping at its warmth. "Where'd you get that?" he managed.

Remus sat back down on his bed and left a spot open; an invitation for Sirius to sit. "Mum made me bring it. My parents are super protective, remember?"

Sirius didn't respond. He took a sip of the tea, then Remus saw him slowly stop fighting. He sat next to Remus and said smally, "My mum doesn't even know I'm a Gryffindor."

Remus wasn't surprised, really. Sirius seemed like the type to run away from the problems he couldn't fight to the death. He nodded and commented, "How d'you think you're going to get away with that?"

Sirius laughed humorlessly. Took another sip of tea. "I'm not. It's a matter of time 'till she figures it out."

"Or... and I'm just throwing this out here..." Remus nudged Sirius's shoulder. "You could tell her. Get it over with. Like ripping off a plaster."

Sirius trembled a little bit. "She's going to be angry," he whispered.

"She'll be angry either way," Remus remarked, because from what he knew of Walburga Black, the woman loved being furious at things.

Sirius looked at the tea, then at Remus, then at the door. "I was about to leave," he admitted shakily. "Ask to be resorted."

Remus didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't say he was surprised- he'd pieced it together what with the 'stupid hat' comment- but he was a little disappointed. Sirius had seemed like more of a Gryffindor than him, and there he was, running to be resorted.

"You know it won't listen to you," he probed. When Sirius didn't respond, he added, "I don't blame it, really."

He got a huff in response. Fair enough.

Remus searched for the right bit of advice. Remus was never good at advice, because he'd never had to give any. He was good at plants, and books, and...

"Love me or hate me, both are in my favor," he quoted.

Sirius snorted his tea. "Pardon?"

"It's Shakespeare. A muggle writer. Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. For if you love me, I am always in your heart. If you hate me, I am always in your mind." Remus could almost smell the old ink of the page in his mind. He smiled a little- it smelled like home- and said rather bluntly, "She's either going to love you or hate you, from the looks of it. But you like attention, and you don't like her anyways. Either way you don't like her, and either way you'll get attention from her. So why don't you choose the way that you want, not the one she wants?"

For once, it was silent in the dorm. Sirius's hands tapped on the mug of tea, and his shoulder pressed up against Remus's. Remus was a bit worried he broke him.

Finally Sirius said surely, "You're full of it."

The spell was broken, and Remus scoffed. "Forgive me for trying to help."

"You're forgiven," Sirius said immediately, bowing his head dramatically.

"Ugh, that's an awful joke. You're full of it."

Sirius nudged his shoulder, pressing against him with a grin on his lips. "You're full of it."

"You."

"You."

"Go to sleep," Peter muttered sleepily from his bed.

Sirius and Remus turned to look at Peter's bed. Sirius discretely rubbed his face. "Thanks, princess," he muttered.

Remus groaned at the nickname. "Sod off." But he was smiling.

Remus went to sleep with no problem after that. And the next morning when he woke up, the mug of tea was empty on Sirius's bedside table.

Peter Pettigrew

"We need to get a detention, lads!" James announced excitedly on the morning of their third week.

Sirius, of course, was on board immediately. He nodded, mouth full of pancake. "'Ow 'o we 'o 'a?"

"Manners," Remus chided, chucking a napkin at Sirius. Sirius in turn opened his mouth to show his half-eaten breakfast, and Peter and James groaned.

"How's that for manners?" he asked smugly to Remus.

Remus didn't even react. He just looked across the table at James and asked, "And why on earth do we want a detention?"

"Because it's fun!" James wheedled, meeting Peter's eyes and grinning. Peter didn't think it sounded too fun, but he decided to go along with it anyways. "Remember what McGonagall said? That she wished someone would take up the mantle of our past Gryffindor house?"

"Didn't she say we shouldn't be like them?" Peter questioned, half joking and definitely half genuine.

James gestured dramatically at him. "Reverse psychology at its finest! It was practically a cry for help, Peter."

"Her life must be so boring without some Gryffindors wreaking havoc," Sirius said, a mysterious creative light to his grey eyes.

"Exactly why we need to get a detention!" James exclaimed, eyes wide behind his bulky glasses. "To create chaos!"

"Stir up trouble!" Sirius said just as happily.

"Cause some drama!" James added eagerly, slamming his fork into the table.

"Manage mischief!"

"Be up to no-"

"Absolutely not," Remus said firmly.

James looked sideways at him, rolling his eyes a little. Peter noticed James hadn't quite forgiven Remus for the incident in September where Remus told them all off. To be honest, Sirius seemed to be the only one over that. "We weren't really asking permission," James said, and Peter could hear the veiled anger in his light voice.

Remus delicately placed his napkin in his lap and shrugged, indifferent. Peter wished he could be like that. "Why would we try to get a detention?" Remus asked acidly.

"Why not?" James countered. He dismissed Remus's skeptical face and Peter saw his eyes land on Peter's nervous expression. "Budge up, Pete!" James said flamboyantly. "It'll be fun!"

"Fun and detention are two words without a correlation," Remus observed.

"Unnecessary like usual," Sirius commented, flicking a piece of bacon at Remus. Remus deftly caught it and threw it back, and James's eyes lit up.

"A food fight," James said, mesmerized as Remus and Sirius threw the bacon at each other.

Peter hated being slow. "It's not really a fight yet..." Peter said unsurely.

James caught Peter's eye and grinned. "Not yet, it isn't," he agreed to himself.

Peter still didn't know what was going on. "Remus...?" he asked, because Remus always filled him in, even after the telling-off thing of first week.

Sadly, Sirius caught on first. He abandoned the piece of bacon that him and Remus were chucking and turned to Peter with a gleam in his eye. "Idiot!" he said gleefully. "We're going to start a food fight! With the school!"

***

Peter still didn't know what to think when they were setting the plan into motion.

They were in Slughorn's class, and James and Sirius were huddled up planning. Lunch was their next period, and Peter desperately wanted to call in sick. And that was saying something; Peter loved lunch.

He wasn't sure he liked causing trouble. Sneaking into the kitchens had been fun. But it had also been terrifying, and if they'd gotten caught they would have gotten in big trouble. On the other hand, though, James and Sirius were so cool. They were the closest things Peter had to friends, besides...

Peter nervously tapped Remus on the shoulder, half-worried that Remus would scream at him like last week.

Remus looked up from his potions worksheet, and Peter noted relievedly that he didn't look angry. He smiled a little invitingly, and Peter scooted closer so James and Sirius didn't hear him.

"I'm not sure about the food fight," he whispered conspiratorially.

Remus blinked. "Then don't do it."

"I... it's not..." It's not that easy, Peter wanted to say. But for Remus it was. For a lot of people, it just was. They could say no without worrying about getting left behind and abandoned. Peter didn't get it.

He didn't say any of that, because he didn't trust Remus that much. Instead he said, "They'll be mad at me."

"So what?" Remus rolled his eyes, apparently using all of the sarcastic motions he could. "They'll get over it. You've met them, right? James's focus disappears after about five minutes. Sirius's feelings are made of rubber."

Peter wished he could see it that simply. "I worry," he said slowly, trying to phrase it in a way that Remus would understand, "That they'll make fun of me."

Remus shrugged, finally taking his eyes off his worksheet and looking at Peter. "So make fun of them back."

Peter turned over his shoulder and chanced a look at James and Sirius. "What's to make fun of?"

Judging by the look on Remus's face, Christmas had come three months early. "Let's start the list, shall we? First off, Sirius chews with his mouth half open. Who does that? Second-"

Peter felt rather defensive all of the sudden. "At least they didn't tell me to piss off last week," he blurted before he realized it came out of his mouth.

He could've sworn the class went silent. He knew immediately that he'd ruined any chance he had of being friends with Remus, with that single sentence.

Remus looked at him, sweeping his amber hair out of his eyes. Finally, he cracked a real, genuine smile. Teeth and everything. "That was a bit rude of me, wasn't it?" he asked, kind of sheepishly.

Peter chuckled, nervously. "Yeah."

"Yeah." Remus was silent for a few seconds, before the smile slid off his face and he added, "I didn't mean it, you know."

Peter looked at Remus, robes too big and frame too skinny, too smart and too stubborn. And he thought, maybe he's not James or Sirius. But he'll do.

"I know."

Sirius Black

Sirius was so excited!

Not to brag or anything, but he was fairly sure he was a genius. James and he had spent the entirety of Slughorn's class definitely not doing work and planning the food fight instead. They had rifled through the people that would be on their side and against them- Snape would be a target to hit in the face at least once with a tomato.

Then, after about three minutes of whinging and pleading, they'd finally gotten Peter into it. Remus was watching from the sidelines, something that annoyed Sirius to no end. Like, why was Remus even talking to them if he wouldn't bother to be friendly? Food fights were part of being friendly, darn it!

Phase Two of their operation was put in place right as lunch started. James, Sirius, and Peter raced across the corridor towards the Great Hall, making sure they got to the food before anyone else could. Sirius took in the sight of the food on the tables- mashed potatoes, casseroles, puddings, whole entire baked hams- and grinned. This was going to be perfect.

The first person to walk into the room- a Hufflepuff second year with blonde pigtails and a friendly-looking smile- unfortunately had to be sacrificed. Sirius unapologetically chucked a piece of cherry pie at her head, and it splattered all over her hair.

The girl just looked rather amused. "Starting a food fight," she observed, looking at the three of them. "How uninspired. The Gryffindors from last year did that too."

Sirius felt a little pang of disappointment that they'd done the same thing. But still, they might as well have another go at it now.

He'd barely had time to try and reply before the Hufflepuff girl lunged forwards towards a table and grabbed a green bean casserole chunk, throwing it straight at Sirius. A few Gryffindors came in and their eyes lit up.

And so it began.

Sirius knew immediately that this was the kind of chaos he wanted to create for the rest of his Hogwarts years. It was beautiful- the pies and puddings flying through the air, the teachers in various stages of disarray as they tried in vain to stop the chaos, Peter ducking for cover behind a salad bowl like a coward and Sirius hitting him in the arm with a fried turkey. It was one of the best moments in Sirius's life... and fine, the bar was set low. But still.

James and Sirius fought side-by-side, and Sirius was certain James was laughing the whole time. James hit Snape with a tomato and turned to grin at Sirius with pure joy in his eyes. "This is the best thing we've ever done!" he shrieked, despite the fact that they'd only known each other a month.

Remus was standing in the entrance of the Great Hall with Lily, and both of them were silently taking in the mess. Lily looked furious, while Remus was a little... amused, was it? Merlin, Sirius didn't understand him.

A swooping of wings startled Sirius out of his battle stance, and he snapped his head up to look at the large owl flying into the Great Hall.

James nudged Sirius's shoulder, looking confused. "Owls don't deliver post at lunch, right?"

Peter edged closer to Sirius, clearly trying to take cover, and Sirius didn't have the heart to stop him. His happiness had deflated as fast as it had started, because that owl belonged to his mother.

And Sirius wasn't a genius anymore. He was an idiot, because he'd taken Remus's stupid advice and told his mum that he was in Gryffindor. And so of course his mum had responded with a bright red envelope, soaring towards him in the claws of a black owl.

The letter dropped right on top of Sirius's head and started to smoke. Peter saw the letter and heroically dove aside, knowing what was going to happen. The rest of the people fighting fell silent as Sirius snatched the letter and scanned the room for something, anything to get him out.

In the exit, Remus had turned and left. After the advice he'd given Sirius, he just up and left.

James cursed and hit the deck as the letter began to speak, and Sirius wished he could be anywhere but there when Walburga Black's voice echoed through the room.

Sirius Orion Black! I've always known you were trouble, but getting sorted into Gryffindor?! I should disown you where you stand! If you have any wits about you, you would disown yourself, because you don't belong in the Black family legacy! You don't fit in; never will! You're going wherever I say this Christmas and we'll make sure you at least ACT like a proper Black, even if you were sorted like a mudblood!

The words cut Sirius like knifes, just as Walburga's words always did. He looked around the hall, and people had frozen mid-fight, watching him. A few Slytherins were laughing.

Sirius hated Hogwarts, he hated it.

Dropping the letter so it couldn't antagonize him anymore, he turned on his heel and ran out of the Great Hall.

***

He ended up outside at the lake afterwards. It was empty, everyone being at lunch- everyone, who saw that letter unfurling, screaming insults at him in his mother's voice.

He hated his family, but he couldn't blame them. Sirius was the first Black to be sorted into Gryffindor in two-hundred years; of course they would be mad at him. His mother was right- he was the odd one out. He would never fit in.

Sirius threw a rock in the lake and a playful voice behind him said, "The Giant Squid's gonna hate you."

Sirius scowled and threw another rock into the lake. "Go away, James."

"Nah," James said simply, and a few seconds later he had swung around to sit next to Sirius. His legs swung off the edge of the lake, into the shallower water. Sirius thought of how his mother wouldn't approve of Sirius getting his fancy dress shoes wet and chucked a rock into the center of the lake.

James sighed, the sound disappearing in the wind. "Hardly anyone heard," he tried softly.

Sirius hated that soft voice; that pity. He turned his head to face him and said, "Really, James?"

James shrugged, a little smile on his face. "Fine. Everyone heard. But who cares? The Slytherins are the only ones that laughed and they're a load of prats anyways."

Sirius rubs his thumb over a stone in his hand and skips it across the surface of the lake. "My whole family was in Slytherin," he said quietly. "Except for me."

Another rock landed in the lake with a splash.

James's elbow prodded Sirius's shoulder, and Sirius rolled his eyes. "And your whole family's prats," James reasoned. "Except for you. Maybe there's a connection."

Sirius looked at the rocks bunched up his hand, suddenly feeling rather pathetic. He set them down on his right-hand side and looked at James on his left. "I wish I had a different family," he said in a small voice.

Silence. Sirius regretted sounding that vulnerable, that weak in front of someone he'd only known for a week. Merlin, and he'd done the same thing to Remus earlier that week. Pathetic.

But James seemed unfazed. He leaned over Sirius, and for a horrifying second Sirius thought they were going to hug- ew- before James grabbed the pile of rocks Sirius had set down and righted himself again, chucking one into the lake without saying anything.

Sirius watched the rock ripple on the surface of the water and smirked a little. "What was that about making the Giant Squid hate me?"

James laughed and sent a rock skidding across the water, perfectly (of course). "If he's gonna hate you, he's gonna hate me too," James said, in that stubborn eleven-year-old way. "We're a package deal."

Chapter Text

Remus Lupin

Professor Elkins was going to drive everyone insane. James and Sirius loved her.

In the month they'd been in her class, she had yet to teach them anything and had shared at least twenty all-too-personal stories about Peter. James and Sirius spent most class periods having sword fights with their wands, brainstorming prank ideas, and making faces at Remus when Elkins wasn't looking. Remus spent the class trying in vain to teach Peter every subject that he was struggling with, which was all of them.

But that day was different; Remus could tell by the way professor Elkins had an extra spring in her step. Her grey curly hair sprung right along with her. Remus stopped himself from snickering and focused on Peter's transfiguration homework.

"Good morning, class!" she trilled, and the class deflated per usual. "Today is a special day, can you tell?"

"Does that mean she's not knitting her monstrosity today?" Sirius whispered to James from across the room.

"She can't, her hair would destroy it," James whispered back, staring at Elkins's dancing hair.

"What's there to destroy-"

"Children, children!" professor Elkins called to them, a hint of a frown on her face. The students laughed; James and Sirius had become their only entertainment in the class. "Let's settle down, shall we?"

"Tell that to your hair," James muttered under his breath. Sirius guffawed and mimed an explosion, anyone's guess for his reasoning.

Peter sighed longingly, and Remus rolled his eyes. Peter spent too much time wanting to be with James and Sirius and not enough time doing his transfiguration homework, but Remus wasn't about to tell him that.

Professor Elkins chose to ignore that comment, instead striding up to the front of the room and brushing past Remus without a word as she did so. Remus knew she had a prejudice against him- she hadn't said a word to him since she was forced to take roll and speak his name. So far the only staff members who'd been nice to him were Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomphrey, and everyone else had been various degrees of nasty. Still, it was better than Remus ever could've expected.

"Today we'll be learning about... pixies!" Professor Elkins squealed, clapping her hands together as if expecting a cheer. Remus was inclined to give her one, considering this was the first time she'd ever said 'we'll be learning'.

Peter's face went pale as he slid aside his transfiguration essay. He looked at Remus and whispered, "What am I supposed to do now? I'm already struggling with all my other classes, I can't deal with this one too!"

Professor Elkins started passing out a boring-looking worksheet and Remus tried his best to console Peter. "Maybe you'll understand this subject," he tried.

Peter put his face in his hands. "That's a good one, Remus."

Professor Elkins told them to get into threes- apparently, partners couldn't be trusted as James and Sirius needed a third person to tone them down- and James and Sirius were quick to call Peter down to their table. They didn't even look at Remus, which was fine- they just wanted someone to go along with their antics, anyways.

Remus looked around after Peter left and saw Lily Evans on the left side of the room, next to a very sulky-looking Severus. Oblivious to his anger, she waved sunnily at Remus and beckoned him over.

Worth a shot, Remus thought.

He trudged over, reminding himself over and over that he wasn't going there to make friends- just acquaintances. Despite his neutral expression, Lily greeted him with a big smile when he arrived. "This should be interesting," she said, with the enthusiasm only a true muggle-born could have for wizarding subjects. Remus thought that Sirius and James were missing out on that feeling- the complete wonder at the objects and spells around them. "I thought pixies were just things in Disney movies, and now we're going to see some!"

Remus's pulse quickened a bit. "We are?" he asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

Severus glared at him through his slick black bangs. "How else would we learn about them?" he asked snidely.

Remus was too nervous to come up with an insulting comment to that. He hated animals, because animals loved him. Magical creatures were no exception. He doubted he'd ever take 'Care of Magical Creatures', just because they were so drawn to him. Plants were better. Plants were neutral.

Lily must have sensed his nerves- Remus was an awful liar, which made his secret especially difficult- because she smiled reassuringly, her freckles becoming more apparent. "The professor will make sure they don't get close to us," she told him. "I'm scared too; don't worry-"

"I'm not scared," Remus spat out rudely, because Snape was looking at him with a growing mean grin.

Lily looked a bit hurt, but Professor Elkins thankfully interrupted. "Let's get started," she said in that drawling old-woman way. She ambled over to her desk, where it was clear something was stuck under a veiled cage. She pulled back the cage and a single, rather ugly-looking pixie was angrily flying in circles. "Voila!"

Lily and Remus looked at each other like what is that? Severus scoffed and said, "That's the saddest looking thing I've ever seen."

"Beauty comes from the inside," Elkins fluttered at him. Remus decided he liked her better when she was knitting.

Sirius and James were inspecting the cage, with Peter lagging behind. Sirius whispered something in James's ear. Remus's senses picked up on it: "It looks like it wants to be free."

James's eyes lit up, and then darted to Lily and Severus.

Remus wondered if he should do anything about that, but it would be suspicious if he knew what they were talking about. Plus Remus might've refused to take part in their antics, but he wasn't a snitch. (He wasn't the golden one in Quidditch either.)

Lily curled her lip in disgust and said, "I guess we should start drawing what it looks like."

"My paper wants to vomit," Severus said. Remus refused to give him a laugh.

They were only five minutes into documenting the pixie when Peter started coughing in the back of the room. It sounded like he was going to die, and Lily wheeled around to see what was happening.

Professor Elkins looked completely unprepared. "Hospital wing then, my boy," she said in a reedy voice, staring at him in a state of semi-disgust.

Remus raised his hand and volunteered, "I'll walk him," because he knew exactly what was happening.

Peter kept coughing. Remus looked at Lily and asked, "D'you want to come?" because he figured he might as well try to prevent the inevitable.

Lily did that polite kind of smile that you give when you don't have an excuse not to go but you really don't want to. Fair enough.

Remus walked over to Peter and grabbed his elbow, steering him out of the DADA door and away from the classroom. He stopped a few feet out and Peter stopped coughing immediately, looking up at Remus with a sheepish smile on his face.

"I'm okay-" he started, but Remus quelled his voice with a glare.

"I'm assuming James and Sirius are trying to let the pixie out," Remus said, in an all-suffering tone that he felt was acceptable given the circumstances. "On Snape?"

Peter's eyebrows shot up. "How do you know?" he asked incredulously.

"I know you lot well enough by now," Remus responded, which was half-true at least. "You know you'll get a detention for being a distraction."

Peter shook his head, looking rather proud of himself. "I used to have asthma as a kid. Professor Elkins will never know I was part of it."

Remus had to give him credit; Peter was smart when it came to running away from problems he helped create.

A few seconds later, some terrified and excited screams were sounding from the classroom. Remus recognized one of them as Lily's and pushed away a feeling of guilt.

Peter anxiously tried to look in the door, but Remus pulled him back by the arm. "They think you're in the hospital wing. We can't come in just yet."

There was a clatter, and Remus heard footsteps coming from the DADA classroom towards the hall. "Hide," Remus whispered.

Peter didn't need further prodding. He ran down the hall like his life was at stake- which, depending on how angry this person was- could very well be true. Remus barely had time to pretend he was walking back into the classroom before Lily Evans strode out of the door, almost hitting him.

Remus pretended to look surprised. "What's happening in there?"

Lily's face was bright red to parry her disheveled hair. Her green eyes were narrowed to slits in anger, and her fists were at her sides.

"I hate James Potter!" she burst out, not even registering that Remus was there. "He set a pixie off at my table!"

"Oh," Remus said rather smally, knowing quite well that he could've tried harder to prevent that. "I'm sorry."

"This is the last straw," Lily said, her voice quite shaky. For a horrible second, Remus thought she was going to start crying- he wasn't prepared for that in the slightest. But she squared her shoulders. Daintily brushed off her robes, took a deep breath, and ran a hand over her hair.

Then she acknowledged Remus for the first time, and Remus could've sworn there was fire in her bright green eyes. "You and me are going to get him back."

Peter Pettigrew

Peter was still exhilarated from last week.

James and Sirius were genius! That stunt with the pixies was amazing, and the fact that they let him be a part of it was even better! Sure, Remus didn't approve, but Peter sort of liked that he didn't. It gave Peter an advantage over Remus, in a way. Which was good- Peter needed all the advantages he could get.

But the fact that they'd done a prank, and he'd been a crucial part of it... maybe Peter was selfish for thinking it, but it made him feel a little special.

To make matters a bit worse- or a bit better, however you put it- Remus was gone again.

Sirius seemed annoyed at this. They were in their dorm room- hanging out, Peter was so happy- and Sirius was staring at Remus's empty dorm bed like he might appear any second. "Where is he?"

James shrugged, idly rolling around in his bed like a burrito. Peter noticed that James was literally incapable of staying still, and wished he could be more like that. "Maybe he's visiting his parents again."

Sirius scoffed. "Merlin, they must be overbearing. Maybe that's why he's so weird."

Peter felt a little bad. "Weird how?" he asked timidly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, as he was usually tempted to do around Peter. James was nicer and seemed more hesitant, but eventually he shrugged at Peter and said, "He is a little... odd, sometimes. Like, he won't do any of our pranks."

"He seems nice, and then he turns around and leaves," Sirius said, and Peter didn't understand what that meant at all.

James didn't seem to get it either, but he was smart enough to at least partially understand. He shrugged again. "He's just weird, that's all."

"I could think of some other words to describe him," Sirius said, scowling at Remus's empty bed.

Peter felt very uncomfortable. He was Remus's friend, after all. Remus had made it clear enough that he'd rather talk to Peter than any of the others, and that made Peter feel good... so should he be speaking up at James and Sirius?

But what Remus didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?

***

Charms class the next day was nightmarish, because Remus wasn't there to help Peter understand. Peter was about ninety-percent sure that he was a squib, because he possessed about a fifth of Sirius and James's brainpower. He felt so dumb.

James and Sirius were no help at all. They were learning Wingardium Leviosa, and James had been able to make his pillow fly around the room on the second try. Sirius got it on the third, and James wasn't letting him hear the end of it.

Peter hoped they didn't notice that it was his fifth try and he still didn't have it.

"Wingar- wing... WINGARTI- no, that's not it," he muttered to himself, waving his wand around pointlessly. And what were the wand movements again?

Professor Flitwick came around to Peter, observing the flying pillows around the room with a proud smile. He almost bumped into Peter's pillow, which was still firmly on the ground. He looked up at Peter and squinted, like he wasn't sure what to do with him. Peter wasn't sure what to do, period. "Let's see it," Flitwick said, sweeping his hands towards the pillow.

For a second, Peter thought Flitwick was motioning for him to sit on the pillow. Merlin, he was stupid.

Peter's shaky hand raised his wand, pointed it at the pillow, and he stuttered out, "Wingaa-rdi-a Levi-osum..."

His pillow hopped once before flopping onto its back and lying quite still. Peter was sure he was going to cry.

Flitwick was trying to sound encouraging, but Peter was sure he was just pitying. "You'll get it eventually," he squeaked. "You just need to review your notes, and..."

But Peter stopped listening, because Sirius and James had spotted him from where they were whacking each other with pillows next to the exit. Sirius saw the pillow still on the ground and started laughing.

Peter wanted to die a bit.

In the next few minutes, Flitwick trained him personally. He even had to coach Peter on how to hold a wand at one point, and that was something you were just supposed to know. Sirius and James were looking at him and whispering from across the room, James looking hesitant and Sirius looking evil.

By the end of the class, Peter's pillow was one inch off the ground and Peter's spirit was sunk deep under Hogwarts.

Sirius met him at the class's exit, throwing an arm around his shoulders in that careless Sirius way. "That was the saddest thing I've ever seen!" he said, looking- gleeful considering he was calling something sad.

James shot Peter a grin, raking a hand through his hair. "Does it always take you that long to do a spell?" he asked, half genuine.

Peter's heart was pounding. "Usually Remus helps me," he managed to force out.

Sirius shook his head and they started out towards the Great Hall for dinner, Peter rather unwillingly. "Merlin, Remus is weird. One day he's helpful, next he's yelling, next he's gone-"

"Next he's back again, listening to you prattling on about him," said a dry voice behind them.

Peter whirled around, and Sirius and James did the same. And there Remus was, a bruise on his arm.

Sirius seemed utterly unfazed. "Right you are. Welcome back, princess."

"Don't call me that," Remus muttered, falling into line with the three of them as they started towards the dining hall, "And maybe I'll forgive you talking about me while I'm not there."

James had the decency to look ashamed. "Sorry, Remus," he said awkwardly, bumping Remus's arm. Peter saw Remus flinch at the touch, and James pulled back instantly. "We just... thought it was weird, how you snap at us sometimes."

Remus hummed a little. "Would you like it to be more often?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"There it is again!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up and nearly whacking Peter in the face. "What is wrong with you?"

Remus's brown eyes darkened as they approached the Great Hall. "I just get angry sometimes," he mumbled, shoving his hands in his robe pockets. "That's all."

And maybe Peter wasn't the smartest person in the world, not by a long shot. But it was still fairly obvious that Remus wasn't telling the full truth.

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin was driving Sirius mad!

It was like the boy was two people or something! Sirius still remembered that first day they met each other, when Remus was a scared kid that flinched away from Sirius's touch- like Peter but smarter- and then later that night, they'd started snapping at each other. And then Remus had spent the rest of the week hating Sirius, and he'd disappeared, reappeared, and been nicer. Sirius still remembered that night when he'd been crying and Remus had been so nice about it; not pitying, just nice. Understanding, almost.

And then he'd walked out after Sirius had gotten the letter from his mum. He'd been rude ever since.

Sirius just didn't understand it. It was like Remus occasionally woke up on the right side of the bed, and the rest of the time was dead wrong. It annoyed him, because that meant he couldn't quite hate Remus Lupin.

They were in Herbology class, and Remus still hadn't let the whole 'talking about him while he was gone' thing go. The only things he'd said to Sirius had been sarcastic remarks, and Sirius had had just about enough.

Professor Sprout had a cheery smile on her face, and Sirius could tell that they would be doing some of her dirty work again. "You're potting puffapods!" she said enthusiastically.

Sirius groaned as Hufflepuffs around him looked excited to the point of cardiac arrest. He hated herbology, probably because he was no good at it. Sirius Black hated not being good at things. He should be good at everything!

"Now," professor Sprout instructed, passing out the ceramic pots they would be using, "Puffapods are very fragile. One touch to their leaves and they blossom and make you dizzy, so be sure to only pick them up by their stems."

James pressed up against Sirius's shoulder and whispered, "Remus is about to have a fit."

Sirius craned his neck to look around Sprout. Sure enough, Remus was whispering excitedly to Peter about the qualities of a Puffapod. What a Hufflepuff, Sirius thought in disdain. Suppose he wasn't nice enough to be officially sorted there.

He didn't tell that to James. Instead, he looked at the brown ceramic pot in front of him, and the Puffapod seed on his right, and forced himself to recall what Sprout had said. Something about not touching the plant. How was he supposed to not touch the plant?!

Remus's plant was potted within the first minute. Sirius glared across the room at him, but he obliviously just kept helping Peter. Prick.

Sirius reluctantly prodded at the leave of his pufferplant thing and immediately got a whiff of a sweet-smelling aroma that almost knocked him out cold. He stumbled on his feet a few seconds and ran into James, who righted him with a mirthful laugh.

Sirius hated herbology, he hated it.

When the world had righted itself again, familiar brown eyes were in front of him and the fuzzy outline of Remus began to take shape. "You know you don't touch it by the leaves," Remus said, a little snottily.

Sirius felt a flash of annoyance, because Remus was most definitely there just to spite him. "I'm not listening to you," he snarled, for lack of a good comeback and the preservation of his dignity.

Remus wrinkled his nose at him. Sirius was hoping he'd triggered the boy's anger, but he seemed only mildly offended. "I just want to make sure you don't kill the plant," he defended, reaching his nimble fingers out to grab Sirius's Puffapod.

Sirius didn't even like herbology but darn it that plant was still his, and his hand reached lightning-fast to counter Remus's. Both their hands landed on the stem of the plant- which apparently was safe- and Sirius said hotly, "I don't want you here! Go away!"

And there was the anger. Sirius felt a little bit of pride in making Remus angry; he was finding out how Remus ticked. Remus's eyes narrowed and he tugged on the plant's stem a little. "It's not my fault you're rubbish at Herbology!"

Sirius hated being rubbish at things!

Growling, he yanked the stem of the Puffapod out of Remus's grip, nearly toppling both of them. The puffapod angrily released a bunch of fumes that made Remus start coughing, violently, and stumble forwards.

Sadly, 'forwards' was onto Sirius. Sirius hastily put the puffapod on the table next to them as Remus practically lurched onto him, coughing into his chest- gross. The combined weight of both of them made Sirius stumble backwards.

Even more sadly, backwards was onto Sirius's ceramic vase.

The vase clattered to the floor, breaking into about a thousand pieces before their eyes. Sirius righted Remus with one hand and Remus coughed harder, tears welling up in his eyes.

Sirius wasn't focused on Remus, though. He was focused on professor Sprout, who was approaching them with a furious look in her eye.

"It wasn't our fault!" Sirius lied before she even got over.

Sprout raised an eyebrow, steam practically coming out of her ears. "I saw the whole thing."

Remus was still coughing. Sirius pounded him on the back unhelpfully and he actually shook.

Professor Sprout had the decency to looked worried at that development. "Anapneo," she said, raising her wand and pointing to Remus. Remus's coughing died down immediately. "Now," she continued like nothing had happened, "You two had better explain yourselves!"

Sirius's mind was working overtime to come up with an excuse when Remus gasped, "I'm really sorry, professor!"

Sirius wanted to pound Remus on the back again, much harder. What was that?! Sirius could've come up with an excuse, easy!

"I can replace the vase," Remus continued, in a smallish whisper. Teacher's pet.

Professor Sprout didn't look mad anymore- Sirius doubted Hufflepuffs could stay mad long- just disappointed. "It's not the vase I'm worried about," she said. "I can fix that with magic. I'm worried about this disrupting behavior in my classroom."

If she was worried about this disrupting behavior, Sirius almost felt bad for when he and James would inevitably partner up. Then she would know true disruption.

Remus looked as if he was about to cry. "I'm really sorry..." he said softly. Sirius rolled his eyes, adamantly not apologizing.

Professor Sprout looked at the two of them and sighed. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you both detention," she said sternly. "Tonight, eight o'clock."

Sirius's heart plummeted briefly before he remembered that his mum didn't care enough about him to ground him (yay!). Remus looked as though he was about to literally die.

James grinned at them from behind Sprout's back and mouthed 'suckers'.

***

"I don't know why you're so pressed," Sirius whined to Remus that night, in professor Sprout's greenhouse. Remus's back was to him as he sorted seeds with eerie precision, adamantly refusing to talk. Sirius squinted at the seeds he was sorting and added, "It's just a detention. Live a little."

Remus didn't say anything, but he threw a seed into one of the baskets so violently that the basket swayed.

Sirius groaned- Remus was terrible company to have in detention. James would've been much better, or even Peter. And that was weird, because Sirius would have, at one point, thought that Remus was better than Peter. Certainly not anymore.

Professor Sprout had stepped out of the room to get more seeds for Remus to sort, and Sirius took that opportunity to chuck a random seed at Remus's back. It landed just above his collarbone, grazing his curls, and Remus crushed one of the seeds he was holding.

That was cool, Sirius thought. Remus the nutcracker, but with seeds. He threw another seed at Remus- a bigger, green one; Remus would know what type it was- and Remus's shoulders started shaking.

"You're so boring," Sirius complained, because it was fun to annoy Remus. "It's one detention-"

And then Remus was wheeling around, robes spinning as he faced Sirius from a few feet away with a maniacal look in his eyes. "One detention?!" He repeated, a bit crazily. "Do you know how hard I've tried to keep my head down and be normal?! And I get a detention because of you- and you don't care! You think it's funny because you're Sirius Black and you couldn't be mature if your life depended on it!"

That wasn't as fun. Sirius looked at Remus and realized that Remus was actually upset. Not annoyed. Not mad. Upset.

Sirius met Remus's eyes and tried his best to be patient. After all, that was what Remus did do for him that one time, when he gave him the tea that tasted horrible but Sirius drank it anyways. "Are your parents going to ground you or something?" he asked.

Remus's shoulders basically deflated, and his eyes darted towards the stone floor. "'Or something'."

And Sirius thought he could relate to that.

He might not've liked Remus Lupin all the time, but maybe Remus also didn't like him all the time. At the very least, at least Remus's life clearly wasn't perfect either.

Sirius saw, on the hood of Remus's robe, the large green seed Sirius had thrown. He pointed to it and Remus went cross-eyed trying to look for it. "What kind of plant is that?" he asked, trying to get genuine curiosity in his voice.

Remus still looked suspicious. "Are you making fun of me?"

Sirius bit back a groan. "No. Honest. I just figured..." he scratched his arm, feeling a bit self-conscious. "You like plants. And it seems like you never know how to talk to us otherwise, so-"

"I don't," Remus blurted, quietly. Sirius sees a faint tinge on his cheeks, possibly from anger, possibly embarrassment. "I've never had fr- acquaintances, before."

Sirius paused mid-retort. He'd never thought of it that way. Sirius usually just met people and automatically considered them his friends until they proved otherwise. It never occurred to him that Remus might not have had that experience; that Remus might have had no idea how to talk to them at all (and fine Sirius probably didn't make it easier).

Sirius tried to meet Remus's eyes. He hated heart-to-hearts, but since Remus had done it for him, he'd return the favor. "We could be, you know," he said, a little quieter now (because this was embarrassing and if Sprout walked in he would die). "Friends, I mean, if you'd just let us. We don't care that you're rubbish at talking to us. We just want you to try and talk to us, Lupin. Merlin, you don't make sense sometimes."

Remus seemed to be taking those words in like a plant takes in water. (Sirius was right about that, right? Plants did drink water?) Finally, he looked at Sirius with a bright red face and an awkward smile, and his hand reached up to pick the green seed off him. "It's a Devil's Snare," Remus said, just as quietly.

James Potter

"We're going to rule these halls one day," James said solemnly to Sirius.

Sirius propped an arm on Remus's shoulder, and Remus promptly shoved it off. He looked at the Hogwarts stone corridors and grinned a Sirius Black grin. "I'm the king," he claimed immediately.

James bristled. "Then I'm the Prime Minister."

Peter chimed in nervously, "I'll be the jester."

James and Remus exchanged a look like no one tell him. Sirius, who had no such tact, punched Peter in the shoulder and cackled "I don't know if you're funny enough for that, Pettigrew."

James watched on, a little awkwardly. He didn't exactly like how Sirius made fun of Peter... but hey, it wasn't like he was saying anything that wasn't true! Peter needed blunt truth sometimes; and he wasn't that funny.

Remus, who seemed to be much keener on hanging around them after his Monday detention, switched sides with James so he was next to Peter and not Sirius as they walked. "You're plenty funny," he assured Peter- nicer than James would've- as they walked down the Northern Hall to their class.

Sirius bounced back immediately from losing Remus as a shoulder-rest, and nearly stood on his tiptoes to prop his elbow on James's shoulder. James resisted the urge to smile as they attempted to walk like that. His friend was so stupid but it was James's kind of stupid. "What about you, Remus?"

Remus scoffed, but it didn't seem as rude as he usually was. "I'll be the poor bloke who ensures you lot don't butcher the kingdom."

"That's too many words," Sirius said resolutely.

"Exactly why I'd need to watch over you," Remus explained serenely, smiling tight-lipped while they approached the Gryffindor Common Room. "You're not properly prepared for a position of power."

"Power posit plah plah plah," Sirius retorted wisely.

Peter seemed content to take it all in. James finally shrugged Sirius's elbow off his shoulder and grinned like a maniac, because finally, everyone was getting along. James loved when everyone got along.

Remus fell out of step with them after a bit, his face pale. James watched as he nudged Peter's shoulder and said, "Your cousin's here."

If Remus's face was pale, Peter was literally parchment. He gripped Remus's thin arm and whispered, "Oh no."

James was very confused. He looked at Sirius, who seemed to also be very confused, so then he looked at Remus and asked, "What're you on about?"

Remus nodded towards a sixteen-or-something-like-that-year-old boy, hands shoved in his robe pockets as he surveyed everyone. He had a blond crewcut and an ugly look in his icy blue eyes, like he was looking for his next victim.

Then his eyes landed right on the four of them.

"That's your cousin?" Sirius asked Peter, looking shocked. "But he's... scary."

"Pete didn't get that gene," James explained.

Remus was getting paler by the second, and his hand reached over to grab James's arm, so they were all connected like a chain of terrified idiots. "Not again," he whispered to himself.

Peter's cousin's lips moved in a tight sneer when he saw Peter. But then his gaze locked onto Remus, and his hands balled into fists. He started stalking towards them.

"He doesn't look very happy," James observed, reaching out to grip Sirius's arm so that if they went down they went down together.

Peter did not seem to share the same sentiments, because he was beginning to back up like he was about to run away. He hadn't thought that through, though, because all he was doing was dragging the rest of them with him by the arms.

"Merlin, you're stupid," Sirius observed.

James reckoned they all had some bad last words that were about to be engraved on their tombstones, but it was too late to go back now. Peter's cousin was there, inches from them.

Peter smiled nervously, and James could've sworn he had a bead of sweat on his forehead. "Hullo, Esteban! How are you?"

Esteban cocked an eyebrow, unamused. "Your mum wanted me to check in on you," he said, making Sirius snort. "But I suppose I already know how you are, considering you're with him."

His gaze moved to Remus, and Remus looked about to vomit. "I reckon we didn't get off on the right foot," Remus said mildly.

Esteban laughed pleasantly. "I'm gonna kill you."

James let go of Sirius to grab his wand and whispered, "Al-"

"Expelliarmus," Esteban muttered lazily, and James's wand flew out of his hand faster than he could comprehend. How had Esteban even gotten his wand that fast? James gawked at him unabashedly, and Remus and Peter gulped.

He raised his wand, pointing it right at Remus's nose. James squeezed Remus's arm and breathed, "Run."

The four moved as one, Remus ducking and wheeling around to sprint away. Peter's short legs couldn't move as fast as Sirius and James's, and Remus strayed behind with him. Esteban's heavy footsteps continued after them, and James actually felt a stab of fear. Gryffindors weren't supposed to feel fear; his dad had told him so many stories of brave, fearless Gryffindors.

But James was scared. He didn't want to die!

"You can't run forever!" Esteban shouted, echoing behind them as their eleven-year-old legs sprinted through the crowds.

"That," James panted to Sirius, "Is so creepy."

Sirius didn't answer. He seemed deep in thought, which... it really wasn't the time for that. James turned to make sure that Remus and Peter were still doing okay and saw that Esteban was gaining on them. Remus was in rough shape. James wondered if he was ill or something, because he could barely run. James could've sworn he had a limp as well.

James elbowed Sirius. "Slow down, mate. Remus can't keep up."

Sirius didn't complain about princesses not being able to run, just slowed his footsteps until he and James were jogging along next to Remus.

Remus's face was almost green, which probably wasn't a good thing. "Alright?" James asked him concernedly.

Remus barely managed to nod, and Peter looked ready to keel over. James knew they couldn't keep this up for much longer.

Esteban was going to curse them, beat them up, possibly KILL them-

"Stop," Sirius said, holding a hand out that James promptly slammed into.

James panted and looked wildly behind them, where Esteban was rapidly gaining on them. "Why're we stopping?!"

Remus and Peter stumbled to a halt. Sirius barely had to catch his breath, just turning around and looking at Esteban. Maybe he knows dark magic, James thought wildly. His family are crazy, they probably taught him. Maybe he'll use dark magic on Esteban and get expelled.

Esteban gave a harsh laugh of surprise as they stopped. "Didn't think it would be that easy," he remarked.

Sirius held a hand up at him, like an angry crossing guard. "You," he said, catching his breath, "Are my third cousin about two times removed. Mother made me memorize the family tree."

So that's what he'd been deep in thought about. James wondered if his own family even had a family tree. Sirius's family sounded awful.

Esteban looked unbothered. "Every pureblood's related," he scoffed.

Sirius puffed up his chest a bit, and James recognized it as how Sirius's cousins had looked before he'd ran away from them. Like they were convinced of their royalty. "But not every pureblood's close enough to be a part of the Black Family."

James realized what Sirius was trying to do; guilt Esteban into letting them go. Peter looked confused, and Remus looked like he was going to die.

Realization seemed to dawn on Esteban's face as well, and his dark eyebrows raised. "You're Bella's little cousin," he said.

Sirius nodded. "She's taken, by the way. So you can stop trying."

Esteban was swelling like a pufferfish, and James was terrified that he'd pop and lash out at them any second. Sirius didn't seem to be helping the situation. James wanted to elbow him but he was a bit concerned that any movement would result in death.

Esteban's sneer melted into a cold, hard glare, and he advanced towards Sirius. "Your family doesn't care about you, you know," he said softly. "You're replaceable. Your brother could be the heir just as easily as you."

James didn't know about all this 'heir' stuff, but Sirius flinched a little. "If you hurt us," he retorted, voice still unwavering, "I'll owl mother and she'll make all the purebloods turn against you. The Pettigrews already hate you, I'd hate to make things worse..."

For a second, James thought Esteban was going to punch Sirius right in the jaw. But then his fists slowly unclenched, and he let out a quick puff of air through his mouth, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, his glare was softer.

Then he turned quicker than lighting, pushing around James to look down on Remus's shaking form. "You," he whispered, and James saw his breath actually rustle Remus's hair, "Are lucky your friend has connections."

Remus, who finally looked like he wasn't dying, grimaced. "And you are lucky I don't have a briefcase on me."

James didn't know what that meant, but Esteban's scowl deepened and he backed off. "Find better friends, Pete," he called as he turned on his heel and walked away.

And then it was silent. None of the students had cared about their encounter, just thinking they'd been fooling around. James widened his eyes at Sirius and whispered, "That was brilliant, mate!"

Sirius beamed idiotically. "I never thought mother's stupid family tree would come in handy."

Peter was pale and pasty-looking. He turned to Remus and said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

Remus, who'd seemed to recover himself quite well, draped an arm around Peter's shoulders. "You're fine," he said firmly, in that Remus Lupin way. All business-like.

"What were you on about?" Sirius asked, gesturing to Remus. "With the briefcase thing?"

Remus looked a little uncomfortable, but Peter smiled shakily and said, "He hit Esteban in the face with a briefcase our first day of term."

What?! James looked at mild-mannered, weak, goody-two-shoes Remus Lupin and tried to imagine him hauling a briefcase at Peter's cousin's face. "Remus," he said in awe. "That's..."

"COOL!" Sirius interrupted, and Remus laughed weakly as Sirius lunged forwards and shook at his shoulders. "Did you break his nose?! I've always wanted to see a broken nose! Can you do it again-"

"It was a lapse in judgement to do it the first time," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Lapse in judgement?" Sirius said indignantly. "Hitting a sixth year in the face with a briefcase is a 'lapse in judgement'?!"

"You're a lapse in judgement," Peter stuttered out, clearly wanting to be part of it.

Remus started cackling. Sirius's mouth dropped open and Peter smiled, blushing about eight shades redder.

James felt a sudden rush of affection for his three friends- friends!- that had quite certainly almost died. But he didn't say that, 'cause that was girly. Instead he looked at them all and asked, "Back to the common room, or...?"

Sirius bounced back from Peter's insult, and his hair flew as he turned to James and said, "It's almost Halloween!"

Remus looked exasperated. "Or a Halloween prank," he sighed.

"Or a Halloween prank!" James said excitedly. And so they were off.

Chapter Text

November

Peter Pettigrew

On the second of November, Remus woke up looking like he was going to throw up.

James was in the process of shaking Sirius awake (which Peter had noticed was an ordeal) and Peter decided he’d wake Remus up since James’s shouting always hurt Remus’s ears. He swung out of bed and padded over to Remus’s, still in his pajamas and not feeling too great.

“Remus,” he whispered, pulling back Remus’s red bed curtains to let the light in. He was met with the sight of a sleeping, sweating-yet-shivering Remus Lupin, curled up in a ball under his sheets.

Whatever Peter was feeling, Remus was feeling at least ten times that.

Peter debated letting Remus sleep, but one look at his damp auburn curls and scrunched-up forehead let him know that Remus most likely needed the hospital wing. So he reached out and prodded Remus’s clammy shoulder, once.

Remus shot up like a rocket and weakly shoved Peter aside to vomit all over the floor.

“Oh dear,” Peter said, reaching a hand to awkwardly pat Remus on the back. “That’s not good.”

“Is Lupin awake?” Sirius’s voice called. “I need to copy his transfiguration homework.”

Peter looked cautiously at Remus. Remus threw up again.

“He’s a little sick,” Peter called back.

Instantly, James nearly pounced over Remus’s bed and got on Remus’s other side, putting a hand on his forehead. “Morning, Remus,” he said cheerily, wiping his hand on his Hogwarts robe. “I think you’re dying.”

Remus, who had thankfully stopped hurling, shakily sat up and got off the bed. He stepped over the pile of ew and swatted James and Peter’s hands away from him. “Am not,” he slurred. “This happens sometimes. I can handle it.”

James shot Peter a look like what?!. “Remus,” he said sternly, putting his hands on his hips in what Peter could only describe as a motherly move. “Please don’t say you’re going to get dressed.”

Remus stumbled over to his trunk and deliriously shot James finger guns.

James groaned and turned to Peter. “D’you think you can walk him to the hospital wing?” he asked.

Peter felt anxious (although that wasn’t saying much; Peter always felt anxious). He wasn’t sure how to handle sick people. He was the only child in his family; he was used to people fawning over him when he was sick. What if he did something wrong and Remus hated him, or… died or something?

But James seemed like he was counting on him, so Peter smiled nervously and stuttered, “Sure.”

Sirius, who had been in his own world for those past few minutes, finally ambled over to Remus’s bed. He stopped short at the puddle of sick and nodded. “That’s why it smelled over here!” he observed wisely. He pulled out his wand and vanished it- something first-years normally didn’t know how to do; Peter stared at him in awe- and looked eagerly at Remus’s empty bed like it would have Remus in it. “So where’s Remus? I really need that homework.”

There were several thudding sounds from the bathroom, and Peter was pretty sure Remus had failed at getting dressed.

James rolled his eyes and patted Sirius on the back. “We’re going to class, c’mon. Peter’s walking Remus to the hospital wing.”

(Attempting! Peter’s mind corrected. Peter’s attempting to walk Remus to the hospital wing!)

Sirius made puppy-dog eyes at James and said, “But- but-“

“You can copy my homework,” James added.

Sirius perked up immediately and threw a grin Peter’s way. “See you!”

Then they were gone, and Peter was stuck trying to figure out how to get Remus out of the bathroom.

Peter had never done this before. He tiptoed to the bathroom door, although there was no reason to be quiet, and hesitated with his hand on the knob. “Remus?” he called out nervously. “Are you okay?”

Remus’s voice came out surprisingly steady. “I’m okay! I just get allergies, that’s all. I’ll be out in a second.”

Peter didn’t know much about allergies, but he was fairly sure that the majority of them didn’t involve vomiting. “You sure?” he asked, kicking himself internally because he wasn’t supposed to be hesitant; he was supposed to be walking Remus already!

“Yeah, ‘course!” Remus said, and his voice seemed a little too perky to be believable at that hour of the morning. Especially considering how sick he’d been.

Peter braced himself and turned the knob. In Remus’s delirious haste, he’d forgotten to lock the door, and it swung open to reveal Remus curled up under the sink with his knees to his chest, Hogwarts robe loosely on him and hair all messed up. There were dark circles under his glazed eyes, and Peter felt a pang of concern for his friend.

Remus’s eyes focused and his head shot to the right to look at Peter, shock on his face. “I’m fine,” he said immediately.

Peter smiled nervously for lack of things to do. “Okay. Can I help you up?”

Even at that, Peter could see the uncertainty in Remus’s eyes. Finally, Remus reached his hand up and made little crab-claw motions. Peter helped Remus up. His hand was slippery and clammy, and he had at least a mild fever.

“You need to go to the hospital wing,” Peter said, trying not to sound like he was asking.

Remus shuddered. “Don’t wanna. She’s overbearing.”

Peter felt a little confused. “You’ve been there before?”

Remus blinked, nervously. “No. Heard stories.”

Peter decided to blame that on the delirium and tugged on Remus, trying to lead them both in the direction of the door. Remus was a dead weight, but Peter was stronger and eventually he dragged Remus to the other end of the dorm room, towards the exit.

“Why’re you still here?” Remus asked suddenly, head lolling everywhere.

Peter didn’t know why that question made him so uncomfortable. It sort of sounded like Remus didn’t want him there. “James and Sirius told me to walk you to the hospital wing.”

Remus’s eyes blinked in and out of focus. They passed the doorway and started the obstacle course that was the staircase. “They’re prats, you know,” he told Peter genuinely.

Peter didn’t know how to respond to that. On the one hand… they were, sometimes, and they had a knack for ordering Peter around. But on the other hand… they were Peter’s friends. And on another hand that shouldn’t have even been there because three hands were too many… Remus was delirious and might not know what he just said.

“They’re brilliant,” he decided, draping Remus’s arm around Peter’s shoulders for support as they descended the staircase.

Remus laughed, and it sounded painful on his throat. Peter winced a little. “Brilliant people are often the best at being prats,” Remus slurred, letting Peter drag him down the staircase. “Especially if they have someone telling them they’re brilliant all the time.”

At that, Remus turned his head to raise his eyebrows at Peter. Peter blushed- because delirious Remus was very truthful- and contemplated what to say to that.

“Let’s get you to the hospital wing, Remus,” he said. Remus’s head lolled onto Peter’s shoulder and Peter dragged them across the common room.

Sirius Black

Sirius was angry, because it was his birthday and Remus was still in the hospital wing.

Every time Sirius had imagined Hogwarts as a kid, he always imagined he’d have a legion of friends every birthday, and it would be fun- something that never happened at the Black Family household.

But now he was in the owlery with Peter, who was chewing nervously at his thumb, James, who was doing a one-man rendition of Happy Birthday, and Lily, who was only there because she needed her owl and it wouldn’t let go of James’s.

For the past few weeks, Sirius had been pretty happy. He had James and Peter and Remus, and they were great. But somehow Remus’s absence made them seem a little… lackluster. And that was saying a lot, considering James was currently kick-dancing to Sirius’s birthday song.

“To youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” James finished, his voice echoing off of the owls around them and eliciting several screeches. He panted and did one final kick, beaming at Sirius with jazz hands. “Eh?”

Peter clapped a little. Sirius murmured, “When’s Remus going to be back?” as Lily asked impatiently, “Can I have my owl now?”

James’s face fell. “That’s it?!” he groaned indignantly. “I tap-danced!”

Sirius felt a little guilty. He clapped James on the back and smiled. “Thanks, mate. Seriously.”

Lily laughed. “Your middle name is Lee?”

Sirius and James and Peter stared at her blankly.

Lily’s face melted into a scowl and she muttered, “Why do I try? James, I need my owl.”

James grunted. “I get no respect here,” he mumbled angrily as he yanked Richard off of his perch, bringing August the owl along with him.

Sirius, never one for consoling, just scowled and crossed his arms. “How do you think I feel? It’s my birthday and a third of my friends aren’t here.”

“To be fair, that’s only one person,” Peter said mildly, looking a bit nervous to speak like he always did when Remus wasn’t there. “And he was a bit sick yesterday.”

“A bit sick?” James asked, having gotten over his ‘no respect’ rant. “He was puking everywhere!”

“Excuse me?” Lily asked, fumbling the twine she was using to tie a letter to August’s leg.

James did a very elaborate eyeroll, pushing his glasses up. “I’m sorry, throwing up. Or would you prefer ‘being sick’? ‘Hurling’?”

Lily, who Sirius had discovered didn’t much like James, huffed and angrily tied the knot on August’s leg. “I’d prefer that you don’t think I’m afraid of the word ‘puke’ because I’m a girl. I meant that I didn’t know Remus was sick.”

“He is,” Peter chimed in eagerly. “I walked him to the hospital wing yesterday.”

Lily frowned a little (she seemed civil only to Peter). “He’s out a lot, isn’t he?”

“That’s none of your business,” James said quickly, despite having said the same thing to Sirius earlier. Sirius didn’t blame him; Evans was annoying at best and pretentious at worst. Sirius hated pretentious people, probably because his entire family tree was littered with them.

“Fine,” Lily sniffed, tossing August out of the owlery window in a way that made Sirius wonder if he should file for animal abuse. She turned up her nose at James and said, “But I’m his friend too, you know.”

“You can’t be friends with him,” James said immediately.

Sirius raised his eyebrows- this just got interesting. Peter smiled widely and nervously, the trademark Peter smile. James and Lily stared each other down, James with his chin up stubbornly and Lily with her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Finally, Lily said, “You’re going to wish you didn’t say that, Potter.”

James nodded patronizingly. “I’m really scared of a stupid girl, yeah.”

Sirius wondered if this was his birthday present. Peter backed into an owl cage and screeching ensued.

Lily turned on her heel and walked away, shooting a dirty look at James over her shoulder.

“See ya, Evans!” James called after her.

By the end of the day, Sirius was properly agitated.

The day had been very normal. His family usually didn’t care, and he’d’ve liked something for his first birthday away from home. So far all he’d gotten was James’s tap dance- which was great, but still.

So that was why he was leaving dinner early to visit Remus in the hospital wing, because he figured Remus needed some cheering up and so did Sirius. (Although Remus’s idea of cheering up was admittedly sarcastic comments, Shakespeare, and tea.)

Madame Pomphrey was less than amused.

“He doesn’t need visitors,” she said sternly, putting her hands on her hips like an angry mum. “He’s sick enough as it is.”

“Pleaaaaaseee?” Sirius asked, because that usually worked with adults when he was little.

But apparently he’d outgrown it, because Madame Pomphrey just shook her head and began to shut the door on him.

“It’s my birthday!” he blurted, because that always worked.

Madame Pomphrey looked at him through the crack in the door and sighed. “And for your birthday you want to visit a sick person in the hospital wing?”

Sirius tried for a charming smile. “The bar is set low.”

Madame Pomphrey let out one last sigh, and finally opened the door. “You get five minutes,” she said sternly, but Sirius was already racing past her.

Remus was lying on a cot that was way too big for him, swallowed up in the sheets. His face was pale and he looked exhausted, but he was still reading a thick novel that looked like it weighed more than him. Sirius bounded into the room and exclaimed, “Remus!”

Remus dropped the book into his lap and blinked a few weary times. “Inside voice, Sirius,” he said sternly, and Sirius knew instantly Remus was going to be okay.

“I can’t!” Sirius said louder, jumping on Remus’s bed a few feet across from him. “It’s my birthday!”

He got an annoyed smile at that. “Happy birthday, now be quiet.”

“Never!” Sirius bounced with his knees a few times, and Remus’s book ended up bouncing with him and landing back on Remus’s lap with a thud. Remus hissed and grabbed his side like he was in pain.

Sirius hadn’t meant to do that. “You okay?”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around himself. “M’fine.”

Sirius decided that since the book had partially done that to Remus, it had to be put away. He grabbed the book, making sure not to drop it, and leaned over Remus gingerly to put it on Remus’s bedside table.

Remus squirmed and tried to shove Sirius off him, making Sirius almost knock over a cup of water on the table. “Your hair’s in my face!” he grunted.

Sirius laughed, because yay, non-hurt Remus was back, and shook his head a few times just to tick Remus off. Remus sighed good-naturedly- an improvement from the way he sighed back in September- and said, “That’s going to drive me insane. Sit up, Sirius.”

Since Remus was the ill one, Sirius begrudgingly sat up. He expected Remus to kick him off the bed, but then Remus was sitting up too, and reaching out?

For an embarrassing second, Sirius thought he was trying to hug him- which, no thanks. Hugging was for girls. But then Remus grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around. Well, not really, because Remus was weaker than Regulus (and that was saying a lot), but he generally motioned for Sirius to turn and Sirius got the gist.

“What’s up with you?” Sirius asked, confused at Remus sitting behind him. “Is this a sitting-down conga line? Are you high on pain-relieving potion?”

But then Remus’s hands were gathering up his hair and… and the last time anyone had touched his hair, it was his mother, when Sirius was seven. When he had disobeyed her and she’d chopped it all off, not even using magic. Walburga Black was many things, but she was not lenient to the heirs of the family.

Sirius flinched, making a noise that a Gryffindor probably shouldn’t make. Remus obliviously started tying his hair up in a surprisingly delicate braid. “I took up weaving when I was bored at home,” he said as Sirius valiantly fought a breakdown. “And your hair was about to drive me up the wall, so.”

Sirius forced a hollow laugh, but he was scared. Why was he so scared, Remus was nothing like Walburga-

“Done,” Remus said in a ‘okay get away now’ kind of tone, and Sirius’s hand shot up to his hair. It was still there, just… braided. It felt like someone had made a maze out of his hair. The memory of Sirius's mother faded away.

Sirius scooted away from Remus and turned around so he could see Remus’s face. He looked completely unabashed, and Sirius asked, “Do you usually just… braid people’s hair?”

Remus shrugged. “Never had acquaint- friends, before. Is that not…” Now he was getting a faint tinge of red on his cheeks, like he was embarrassed. “Is that not how… um…”

Sirius was still partly in shock. Remus hadn’t hurt him. Remus hadn’t chopped all his hair off like Sirius’s irrational brain had been saying he would. “No,” Sirius said, still feeling at the maze-braid. Merlin, it seemed complicated. “Not really.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say. Sirius could tell by the way Remus’s eyes were getting cloudier, like his internal walls were popping back up. “It’s okay though!” Sirius corrected hastily. “It’s… uh, that’s really cool. That you can do that.”

Remus’s eyes unfogged, and he blinked. “You can tell me if it’s weird,” he said, quietly. “I just… your hair was annoying me and so I-“

“It’s not weird!” Sirius said, and he meant it. Because Remus wasn’t Walburga. “I promise.”

Remus looked unconvinced. “Seriously?”

“My middle name isn’t Lee,” Sirius said immediately.

The spell of awkwardness and assurance was broken, and Remus was groaning, raking a hand over his pale face. “That is awful, Sirius,” he said.

Sirius was sticking his tongue out at Remus when Madame Pomphrey cleared her throat from behind them, sounding rather amused. Sirius wheeled around to face her, and her eyes were sparkling when she said, “Time’s up, Mr. Black.”

“It’s my birthday-“ Sirius tried.

“Nope. Mr. Lupin needs rest.”

“I don’t need rest,” Remus protested. Sirius marveled at how that was the first time Remus had sounded like a kid, like a kid that wanted to stay up with his friend.

With Sirius! He’d figured out Remus Lupin! They were friends!

Madame Pomphrey did not seem to be having this revelation. “Yes you do,” she countered. “Out, Mr. Black.”

Sirius groaned and dramatically swung his feet off the bed. “Thanks for the…” and he didn’t want to say braid because it sounded too girly, so he kinda just motioned to his hair. "The thing."

Remus seemed to get it, because he smiled and said, “Happy birthday, idiot.”

James Potter

James liked ticking off Lily Evans. It was actually very entertaining, and she did this thing where she scrunched up her face like a lion when she was mad. And James knew he’d perhaps gone too far with the comment in the owlery, but… he couldn’t resist! She’d been giving him that lion look- all narrowed eyes and bared teeth- and she was so annoying that he just had to say something.

And yeah, he should’ve guessed that she wasn’t going to let that go easily. Fine.

“How many newts’ eyes go into the potion again?” Remus asked briskly, not looking up from where he was stirring the cauldron. Despite the fact he’d been in the hospital wing a week ago, he was surprisingly perky.

James and Sirius looked at each other like who’s gonna be the one to tell him we don’t know what we’re doing?. Then they looked at Peter like you.

Peter’s eyes widened comically and he belted out a nervous laugh. “Twenty?”

Remus stopped stirring for a second, and he still didn’t look up as he said dangerously, “Please tell me you didn’t just make up a number.”

“This is boring!” Sirius interrupted. “We’re too smart for this! They should put us in an advanced class.”

“Not me!” Peter said anxiously. “I wouldn’t live!”

“That much is obvious, Pete,” Sirius blew off flamboyantly, tossing his braided hair over his shoulder. "But it would be funny, and I wouldn't be bored anymore."

Remus did look up at that, only to glare at him and say, “How many newts’ eyes?”

“Twenty,” James muttered. Sirius barked a laugh.

James saw a mop of auburn curly hair approaching behind Remus’s agitated form, and he groaned internally. Then he groaned externally because he might as well give Lily Evans something else to be mad at him about.

Lily looked surprisingly sweet when she tapped Remus on the shoulder, smiling. Remus turned around and James expected him to frown in disgust, wave her away from his precious potion that he’d been meticulously stirring for the past five minutes. But instead his mouth curled into a small smile, too, and he said, “Hullo, Lils.”

Lils? James scowled at Remus’s back. When had they become such good friends? He’d thought Lily had been lying when she’d told him her and Remus were friends, or desperate or something.

He could’ve sworn Lily’s smile became a little vengeful, almost like it was directed towards James. “I need your help with the transfiguration homework,” she explained, making Peter’s mouth drop open.

That was a lie. There was no way Lily Evans, smartest in their class (for a girl), was ever going to need help with transfiguration homework. And if she did, she should go to James! James was the best at transfiguration, even if McGonagall wouldn’t admit it.

Maybe Remus wasn’t as smart as James, because he just shrugged and said, “Sure.”

Peter looked like he was going to die. “I need help on that too!” he whispered in awe to himself.

Sirius scoffed as Remus and Lily started chatting idly about transfiguration. “The potion’s gonna boil over,” he muttered to James, sharp elbow digging into James’s arm. “He’ll be ticked.”

In the spirit of fairness, James decided to warn Remus. “Remus, the potion’s-“ he started, but Lily was already leading Remus away by the arm, whispering in low tones.

James was ninety-percent sure they weren’t talking about transfiguration, and he was pretty mad about it.

“Stop being huffy,” Sirius said, and a flick to James’s forehead finally got him to focus on Sirius’s voice. “Remus can be talk with her if he wants. They’re friends.”

“They shouldn’t be,” James said in a low voice. “Lily’s a-“

“A girl,” Sirius finished for him, smiling sympathetically. “Yeah, I got that part. But I think you’re just pressed ‘cause he was your friend first and you think Evans is a snob.”

“She IS!” James defended, shrugging as angrily as one can shrug. Peter nodded aggressively because he clearly didn’t have anything to add.

“Yeah, alright,” Sirius allowed. “But Remus doesn’t think that.”

But that wasn’t the point; the point was that Remus and Sirius were James’s friends first. James's mum used to tell him that when he was a toddler, he was terrible at sharing. James really hadn't gotten much better, honestly.

“Remus shouldn’t think that,” was all James could think of to safely say.

“But he does,” Sirius said impatiently. “So what? It’s not like he’s conspiring against you or anything.”

Then a warm liquid was drizzling down James’s head, and Peter squeaked, “James, your hair!”

James took pride in his hair. He was his father’s son, after all- he styled his hair with that gel stuff his dad invented, and he combed it meticulously until it looked great (or idiotic, as Sirius always called it, but still). So naturally, he was instantly on high alert. He jumped about five feet in the air without a broom and shrieked something awful, bringing a hand up to wring through his hair.

It came back normal, and the warm feeling had faded. But Sirius and Peter were gaping at him, and James didn’t know what was happening.

“What is it?” he asked Sirius.

Sirius was clearly trying to look sympathetic, and clearly failing. His mouth curved in a small, awestruck laugh. “James, your hair!”

Peter just nodded, looking rather scared. James wheeled around, looking for whoever had done- whatever it was- to his hair.

Lily and Remus were standing behind him, a sheepish face on Remus and a horribly smug one on Lily.

Okay, okay. Lily, James could believe. But Remus?!

As if reading his mind like one of those ridiculously thick books he always lugged around, Remus shot him a small smile and said, “In my defense, you’re always pulling pranks. And plus you wouldn’t tell me how many newts’ eyes to add, so.”

Sirius and Peter joined James so they were facing Lily and Remus in a line, all tough-like. James turned in his horror to look at Sirius, and Sirius was gaping at Remus open mouthed. “You can be quite mean sometimes,” Sirius remarked.

Remus gave a small curtsey. James scowled, and Sirius told him, “Sorry mate,” before giggling. “It’s kinda funny. That, and the hair-“

“WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?!” James shrieked, rather embarrassingly and very loudly.

The whole class stopped what they were doing and craned their necks to look at James. Giggling spread throughout the classroom. Now Remus looked a bit guilty.

Lily’s friend Mary was the first to comment, her blonde ringlets flying as she whispered loudly, “It’s pink!”

Even Slughorn looked mildly impressed. “Ten points to whoever did that,” he said, nodding as he inspected James’s apparently pink hair in contrast to James’s burning red face. “Not a bad potion for a second year.”

Lily flounced her curls and gave James a sugary-sweet smile. “Took me a week to get the sticking charm fused with it,” she bragged.

“Sticking charm?” James muttered. He turned to Peter, because Sirius was still laughing and Remus was betraying him, and hissed, “What are they talking about?!”

Peter shakily brought a hand up to James’s hair and pulled a lock down in front of James’s eye. It was most definitely pink, a horribly bright pink that almost glowed. He was a beacon.

The class had gotten distracted, some of them shooting last glances at his hair before going back to their potions. James turned desperately back to Lily as Remus reconciled with Sirius and Peter, and whispered, “Why?”

Lily grinned. “Your dad works in hair business, pink is a girly color, and you ticked me off. Duh.”

James felt a bit of shame at the ‘girly’ part- he did suppose he went a bit fair with the comment in the owlery. “I’m sorry!” he said, voice still shrill from the adrenaline. “Turn it back, please?”

Lily seemed like she was considering for a second, but then she spun on her heel to go back to her table with Marlene. Over her shoulder, she called, “I’m a stupid girl, I don’t know how!”

And so the prank wars had begun.

Remus Lupin

Sirius was up in the late hours of the night again from nightmares. James didn’t wake up that time, so Remus just laid there and listened until Sirius’s breathing evened out again. He felt kind of bad for not doing anything, but after Sirius's birthday, he was a bit scared. Remus knew he was strange, but he'd never known to what extent until Sirius had told him very abruptly that most normal people didn't religiously weave and braid everything they could. On top of that, he'd never had friends before. He was still half-convinced he didn’t deserve friends. He was certainly odd enough for that point to be proven, even without him being a werewolf.

Growing up with his parents, there wasn’t really a thing as weird. Remus’s mum and dad let him braid their hair, learn to weave and paint and read hundreds of books in a matter of weeks. When one is stuck at home all day, ‘weird’ is just a less grammatical way of saying ‘coping with the circumstances you are under by developing habits and quirks that could be described as abnormal’.

In the morning, Sirius almost fell onto his bacon in exhaustion. Remus chucked a piece of his own lightly at him, and it bounced off his braided hair as Sirius shot up with a loud “I’m not asleep!”

James was sulking, as he had been that whole week. Lily’s pink hair charm had yet to wear off, and he was still being cold to Remus about it. Remus didn’t quite understand where James was coming from on that. James had been rude to Lily, so shouldn’t he take the payback with an understanding that he’d earned it? Remus had a lot to learn about friendship, apparently.

“Transfiguration is killing me,” Peter groaned, his textbook splayed out next to him as he gruelingly filled out his homework from three nights prior. “I think I’d make a better muggle than a wizard.”

Remus kind of agreed, but that was snarky, full-moon’s-in-a-week Remus talking. “You’re a great wizard, you just need practice.”

James scoffed, first sentient sound he’d made that morning. They’d nearly been late all week since he wasn’t screaming and shaking them awake.

Remus decided that new and improved Friendly Remus was going to live up to his name, so he turned to Peter and said, “James is brilliant at transfiguration. Might be top of our class this year.”

Remus side-eyed James and saw that he’d pushed the pink hair out of his eyes, pretending not to listen.

Peter didn’t seem to get what Remus was doing, which was good. Two birds with one stone; Remus could be nice to both of them! So Remus added, “McGonagall knows it too. That’s why she lets him off the hook sometimes when he pulls pranks.”

“I always thought she did,” James muttered.

He lives! Remus felt a bit proud of himself as Peter slid his homework over to James with a gleeful look and James started explaining it with a subtle glint in his eye. Remus was going to prove his parents wrong. He was great at this friendship thing!

Remus looked over at Sirius to brag about his success, and then realized Sirius was keeled over on top of his bacon, fast asleep.

The fact that Sirius managed to sleep through transfiguration without McGonagall ridiculing him was a social miracle. Remus took notes for the both of them, feeling a bit giddy over his new Friendship Skills.

Lily nudged him and said lowly, “Is James enjoying his new hairstyle?”

Remus laughed- it was rather funny, no matter what James said- and shrugged. “I think the pink is growing on him.”

Lily craned her neck to the back of the room and saw James and Peter trying to balance a pile of books on Sirius’s sleeping head. “He looks pretty unaffected,” she said, a little annoyedly.

Remus didn’t know what to say at that. It had been a week since the start of James’s pink hair, and Remus for one was glad he wouldn’t stay sullen for the whole duration. “It wears off in a day, right?” he whispered, trying to change the subject because honestly, this ‘being friends with two enemies’ thing was confusing.

Lily looked a little too indifferent for Remus’s liking. “He’ll figure it out.”

That wasn’t very nice, Remus reasoned. Then again, he’d hit Esteban in the face with a trunk on his first day of term, so what did he know about nice? Lily was a lot nicer than Snarky Pre-Moon Remus. (And a lotttt nicer than Full-Moon Remus…)

On the way out of the classroom, Remus dropped his copy of notes on Sirius’s sleeping head and walked out of the room as Sirius woke with a start. He was rocking this friendship thing!

*

Dear mum and dad,

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this enough times in my twenty previous letters. In case you’ve forgotten, Hogwarts is AMAZING! Maybe it’s because I’ve been stuck in the same house for eleven years (no offense to you, and the garden’s looking nice, mum!), but it’s awe-inspiring how I’m starting to fit in here. I told you about all my acquaintances- James with the weird bangs who’s too full of himself, Peter who stumbles on every other word, Lily with the stubborn know-it-all attitude (and no she’s not secretly me, dad, shut up), Sirius with the ANNOYING habit of calling me a princess- well! Sirius told me the other week that I should try being friends with them, and… I think I’m really good at it! Not to brag, or anything. I mean, it’s a little scary being around so many people when I’ve only ever been around you two, but I’m getting the hang of it. I’m having… fun?? Ha, is that a word you ever thought I’d use?!

Love, Remus.

*

Dear Remus,

I’m so glad you’re having fun and making friends! I always told you that you were brilliant to be around, and you always laughed it off. Well, who’s laughing now?

(You, but in a better mood with FRIENDS! A mother’s dream!)

I know you were frightened of going to Hogwarts, but it’s wonderful that it’s paying off! It seems like it’s already done you a lot of good. I spoke to Madame Pomphrey last week, and she said you were healing at a rapid rate from last month. (And of COURSE I speak to the healer that’s treating my baby. Don’t even try making that embarrassed face.)

Remember to write us next week after you recover! I love you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!

More love, mum.

*

Dear Remus,

It’s great that you’re excelling in your studies. And I’ve heard from your mother that your physical health is improving. At this rate, you might weigh the size of a normal eleven-year-old. Can you imagine? I know I haven’t always been supportive about you going to Hogwarts, but I’ll have to admit I was partially wrong.

However, you’ll notice I said ‘partially’. In your last letter, you talked about your new friends, and how you’re getting close to them. Remus, how many times can I say it? You can’t have friends. It hurts me as much as it hurts you to say so, but you know exactly my reasoning for saying it. And honestly, they’re purebloods. Sirius Black is among the people you call friends? You can never trust the Black family, Remus. Your friends won’t hesitate to hurt you once they find out- and if they’re your friends, they’ll find out.

I’m really sorry, Remus. But please, distance yourself from them. It was fine when you had acquaintances- but with your condition, I’m afraid ‘acquaintances’ might be all you are able to get.

Love, dad.

*

Sirius’d had another nightmare. His footsteps were padding over to Remus’s bed, where Remus was wide awake.

“Remus?” Sirius whispered, and Remus heard so many emotions in that one word. Pain, fear, desperation.

Remus didn’t say anything.

“Lupin,” Sirius breathed again, sounding more fearful. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t feel good.”

Remus stayed silent. Eventually, Sirius’s footsteps padded away.

Chapter Text

December

Sirius Black
“Remus is gone again?” Lily Evans asked, a condescending frown on her face.
Usually Sirius would get agitated at that comment, but Remus had been a little colder to them lately. So when December third came and Remus wasn’t in school, he let Lily say what she wanted.
Plus, it was getting a little odd. Remus was gone a lot.
James, who didn’t much like Remus nowadays but disliked Lily more, wrinkled his nose and flicked a drop of ink in her direction. “None of your business.”
“Careful,” Lily said, deftly deflecting the ink thrown at her and smirking. “You don’t want another hairstyle dumped on you.”
Sirius held back a laugh. James’s pink hair had been hilarious, but there was no way Sirius was telling his best friend that.
James scowled and ran a hand through his non-pink hair. Peter smiled and said, “You look great, James.”
Sirius rolled his eyes- Peter tried too hard- but James’s ego was big enough to where he just smiled a bit and said, “Thanks mate.”
“Boys,” Lily said under her breath, and went back to her charms homework.
Done with the conversation, Sirius’s mind began to wonder back to the original topic on his brain. Not charms homework -of course- no, the fact that Remus was gone for… what was it, the fourth time that year? Where was he even going? And why did he ignore them before he went each time?
Sirius wondered if he should ask Remus about it- but of course, Remus wasn’t there. That was a problem for another time.
But he didn’t stop thinking about it, not all throughout charms, and transfiguration, and Professor Binns’s dumb lecture on nothing in particular. By the end of the day, he was convinced that something was wrong. Maybe Remus had an emergency at home, or maybe a severe illness! Maybe he'd been kidnapped!
In professor Elkins’s class, Sirius looked on either side of him at James and Peter and whispered, “Something’s wrong with Remus.”
James scoffed on his right and idly drew a stickman riding a broom on his ‘notes’. “Yeah. He’s working for the enemy!”
Peter laughed nervously on Sirius’s other side. “I wouldn’t call it working with the ‘enemy’-“
“She dyed my hair pink,” James fumed to himself. “If my dad found out, he’d freak.”
“I thought you said your dad invents hair products,” Sirius remarked. “Wouldn’t he be impressed?”
James turned a bit red. “No!”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “I think Lily’s a right git,” he assured James in a low whisper. “But Remus is just going along with it. He hasn’t done anything wrong. And anyways, I’m not talking about that. I’m saying something else is wrong with Remus.”
“No idle prattle!” professor Elkins called out in a tinkly voice. “Why, I knew a chap who loved to prattle on. He would just go on and on and on and on and- my, do you notice that the more you say a phrase, the less it sounds real?”
One person snored their assent.
“Anyways,” Sirius said offhandedly. “He keeps disappearing, and he gets sick a lot-“
“Do you think he’s in trouble right now?” Peter asked, wringing his hands under the table. His hand brushed Sirius’s knee, and Sirius kicked him.
James yelped. “Sirius, that’s my foot!” Then he promptly kicked Sirius back, and Sirius giggled and tapped his foot against James’s. James snorted a laugh and kicked him, and then Peter joined in and they were kicking each other three-way, laughing maniacally.
“Good to know you appreciate my jokes,” professor Elkins said good-naturedly. “Usually Remus will laugh-“
(Sirius knew very well that Remus only laughed out of pity.)
“-But seeing as he’s not here, the class will have to make up for it! After all, he’ll be gone a lot this year.”
Sirius and James and Peter stopped their three-way kick fight. Lily Evans raised her hand and asked, “What do you mean, professor?”
Professor Elkins, for once, looked speechless. She nervously patted down her curly grey hair and gripped her half-knit sweater with one knobby hand. “Nothing, dear,” she hummed, and Sirius heard a hint of fear in her tone. “Say, did I ever tell you about the time baby Peter tried to befriend a rat in the sewer? He named it and everything-"
“Why me?” Peter groaned, dropping his head into his shaking hands.
Sirius was so worried about what professor Elkins had said that he decided not to listen to Peter’s rat story. He turned to James- because Peter likely wasn’t smart enough to get it- and said eagerly, “See? She said he will be gone a lot this year. Not that he is. That he will be.”
“She’s probably just predicting based on what he’s been doing,” James stated mildly. “And how would she know, anyways?”
Sirius would’ve expected that from Peter, but not from James. “She’s a professor! She has records of every student!”
Peter groaned again. “Especially of me!”
James didn’t look convinced at all, and then Sirius realized that he didn’t want to be convinced. He was still pressed at Remus for working with Lily, and so he didn’t care enough to be interested in what was happening to him.
He liked James and all, but the guy could be very self-centered. And that was saying a lot coming from Sirius.
Sirius decided to punch James’s arm in fairness. James’s quill skidded off the paper and drew a nice blob on his desk, and James hissed, “Oh, it’s on.”
One minute later, all three of their desks were splattered in black ink, and professor Elkins was agitatedly telling them to get out of her classroom. It was the closest Sirius had ever seen her to angry.
Peter shuffled out of the room looking guilty. There was a smudge of ink on his cheek, but Sirius made the executive decision not to tell him about it. “I don’t like getting in trouble,” he said uncomfortably.
James looked utterly unfazed, as was Sirius. He threw an arm around both Sirius’s and Peter’s shoulders and said wisely, “This trouble is just the beginning! It is the perfect excuse to make more trouble!”
Sirius already had so many prank ideas! He bounced up and down a little bit on the soles of his feet and waited until they were safely down the hallway before beaming at James and saying, “Mustaches. On the paintings.”
James’s mouth flew open. “YES!”
Dodging out of James’s hold, Peter stuttered, “What are we doing?”
Of course he wasn’t bright enough to get it. Sirius wished Remus was there to patiently explain it, because he couldn’t WAIT! “Everyone’s in class,” he said roughly, refraining from an eyeroll. “Perfect time to cause some mischief-“
“We’ll charm mustaches onto the paintings!” James interrupted excitedly. “Flitwick JUST taught us the hair-growing charm-“
“But it’ll fall off the painting,” Sirius remarked, face falling along with the mental image. “So that’s no good.”
James’s face had barely fallen before it was up again and he jumped so high he almost reached the roof. “He taught us the sticking charm too!” he almost squealed. “We’ll combine them!”
Sirius took everything back about James having a big ego, he was brilliant! “YES!” Sirius screamed, reaching his hand out for a high-five.
James high-fived him (for the first time). Sirius loved having friends.
“Excuse me,” Peter said timidly, like he was still in class or something. “What are we doing?”
Sirius couldn’t believe Pettigrew still hadn’t caught on. “We’re charming mustaches,” he said slowly. “Onto the paintings. With a growing and sticking charm. And no one is here to stop us.”
“No Remus,” James said out of the corner of his mouth.
Peter was hesitating, and Sirius was worried he was going to back out. Sirius was about to hit him sharply upside the head (just to make sure nothing in there was jammed) when Peter took a deep breath and an impish, Peter-like grin came upon his face. “Let’s do it,” he said quietly.

James Potter
As it turns out, the growing charm was a lot harder to repeat than they’d remembered.
James and Sirius were exhausted, and it had only been thirty minutes. Each growing charm and sticking charm had to be precise. Precise wand movements, precise pronunciation, precise blah blah BLAH. James was tired, his hand was tired, his voice was tired, and Peter was doing nothing because he was stupid.
It almost made James wish that Remus was there, but he didn’t. Not after Remus betrayed him and embarrassed him in front of everyone.
“This is so BORING!” Sirius moaned after the tenth portrait they’d managed. There were little rushes of satisfaction after each one, but not much.
James put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder and said, “Cheer up mate. Almost there.”
But that was a lie. They’d realistically set their goal to mustache the DADA hallway, but even that was a stretch. James was seeing now that there were at least forty portraits, some of them high up and some of them moving and all of their inhabitants intent on not wanting mustaches.
Sirius half-heartedly waved his wand at a knight holding a princess’s hand and mumbled the charm. A flurry of hair sprouted from the princess’s nose, then receded. The princess promptly fainted and the knight drew his tiny sword to avenge her.
“Wonderful,” James grumbled. “Peter, d’you want to give it a go?”
Peter turned quite pale. “Me? But I’ll mess it up!”
The knight brandished his sword and tried stabbing them through the portrait.
“Don’t think there’s much to mess up, mate,” James assured (although with Peter you never knew, but James didn’t want to be mean). “Give it a try, go on.”
Peter, unable to make any decisions without at least two stamps of approval, looked anxiously to Sirius. Sirius tossed his black braid over his shoulder and shrugged. “Worst comes to worst, you blow it up and get expelled.”
Leave it to Sirius to be inspirational. Peter gulped, and James quickly added, “But it won’t come to that. Go on, mate.”
James watched as Peter approached the painting with a face of pure apprehension. His wand was held in trembling hands as he muttered the incantation under his breath, trying to get it right.
“Hit it already,” Sirius drawled.
Peter jumped, and- always eager to please, James thought- pointed at the painting and completely botched the incantation.
Sparks flew. The knight’s sword started growing hair- which definitely wasn’t supposed to happen- and then seemed to grow a mind of its own, flopping out of the knight’s hands and doing the worm around the painting. The princess’s face grew thick, grey hair until she looked like bigfoot, and the knight’s armor exploded with the force of all the hair he was growing. Hair everywhere. It was chaos. It was violent. It was…
“Perfect!” James yelled, grinning as Peter turned around. Peter looked like he thought James was going to hit him, but instead James knocked him over with a rough, elbow-y hug. He squeezed Peter once and said, “That’s brilliant, Pete!”
Sirius acknowledged, “It was good.” Which was great in Sirius-speak.
Peter was limp, and James jostled him a little to make sure he wasn’t dead. Finally, he croaked out, “I botched it up.”
James felt a little bad, then. Sirius and he hadn’t been the most supportive of Peter in the history of ever. They’d been… prats, sometimes.
So James said, “Botched it up? That was great! Just what we needed, Peter. You’re our wild card!”
“Yeah!” Sirius chimed in, and James saw he looked a fraction of a hair guilty as well. “James and Remus and I do things right, but you mess them up. And sometimes it helps.”
James didn’t know if that would hurt Peter’s feelings or not, but Peter seemed unaffected. He pulled himself off of James and said, “You really think I’m brilliant?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” James said quickly. “I’m the most brilliant. But you can be second.”
Sirius squawked indignantly. “But I’m brilliant too!”
James had to give that to him. “Okay,” he amended, “I’m first and Sirius’s second. But you’re thir-“
“Remus is third,” Sirius added. “He helps Peter with charms homework every day, you can’t say he’s of lesser intelligence.”
James wanted to hiss that they were trying to boost Peter’s confidence, but Peter was blushing anyways so James figured he probably got the point. “So you’re fourth,” he said, frowning because that seemed a bit counter-intuitive to the whole confidence thing. “But still! You’re on the list.”
“I’monthelist!” Peter cheered quickly, raising his wand at the ceiling happily.
James realized what was going to happen too late. Peter had said his words too fast, and it sounded like a certain growing spell that he’d screwed up-
“DUCK AND COVER!” James shouted, lunging at Sirius and pushing him to the floor. Peter was too deep in celebration to fully realize what was happening before twists of curly hair started falling from the ceiling in swinging ropes, sentient and most likely out for blood. James barely had time to react before Peter was in the air and suspended upside-down by one of the hair-ropes, shrieking.
“That idiot,” Sirius hissed. “This is why he’s at the bottom of the brilliant list.”
James looked up at Peter, who was very much petrified. “Don’t look down!” He called unhelpfully.
Of course, Peter was suspended upside-down. There really was no option.
“I’ll find a way to get him down,” James lied to Sirius, feeling a bit alarmed now.
Sirius scoffed. “We’re supposed to know how to undo that monstrosity?”
At the word ‘monstrosity’, the hair shook Peter a bit. James cursed, and Sirius whispered, “I wish Remus was here.”
James felt a little annoyed at that, because Remus was no smarter than him! Whatever Remus could do, James could do just as well and probably better. “I’ll get him down,” James said, confidently pushing up his chest and standing up.
Rough, itchy hair wrapped around his legs before he could even pull out his wand, and yanked him up to the ceiling to join a screaming Peter.
Sirius groaned. “’I’ll get him down, Sirius’,” he muttered angrily under his breath. “’No need to worry, Sirius!’”
James was indeed worrying now. It was weird, being suspended upside-down by thick pieces of giant hairs. He supposed Hogwarts was full of weird things, but this had to have been the weirdest so far.
Peter was wailing and clawing at his hair-rope. “My own creation, turned against me!”
“It was made by you,” James noted unhelpfully, because he was feeling rather scared and grumpy as of now. “I’d turn against you too.”
“What happened to me being brilliant?” Peter said, wailing dying down for a second.
James rolled his eyes as well as he could upside-down. “We are trapped in something you invented right now, so.”
He was about to yell at Sirius and hoped that caused a magical miracle when professor Elkins’s sing-song-y voice rang out, “What on earth is happening?”
She didn’t sound too happy- James didn’t know it was possible to angry-sing words, but she did it pretty well. James craned his head to try and find her, but his glasses took that moment to abandon ship. “Thanks a lot,” he muttered, the world a lot blurrier.
Peter shrieked as the hair evidently twirled him in a circle. “Rescue us, professor!” He said in the most undignified way a person can say that. Picture the most undignified-sounding way, and then that times infinity was Peter’s groveling. James wanted to die.
Then the hair shook him and he realized no not really I don’t want to die. “Please!” he yelled down to the emptiness.
There was a pop, and then James was falling, the hair gone from his ankles. He may or may not have said some choice words on his way down, but that’s anyone’s guess. He landed safely on what he presumed was a pillow and Peter landed softly next to him.
“How did this happen?” professor Elkins asked sternly.
James blinked, the world incredibly blurry. There were a lot of blobs before him, and- Merlin, that was the whole class. He couldn’t tell if the popularity was a good thing or a bad thing. Considering the things he’d said on the way down, probably a bad thing.
Sirius’s voice chimed from somewhere in the blurry ensemble. “It was Peter,” he said, which wasn’t a lie but was kinda rude all the same. “He botched up a spell.”
Professor Elkins sighed, and her blurry grey hair bobbed in dismay. “He always did have a strange connection with magic,” she observed, and Peter groaned softly beside James. “Why, I remember when he was five…”
The class muttered angrily and began the trudge back into the classroom; their fun over for the period. James splayed his hands in front of him and said, “My glasses. Where-“
Sirius crouched in front of him and roughly shoved them onto his face, and James got a headache with the newfound vision bestowed upon him. “Thanks, mate,” James said. “Even though you didn’t do anything when we were hanging upside-“
“It was kinda funny,” Sirius interrupted, dopey grin on his face as he moved to sit between James and Peter.
Peter shakily smiled. “It was terrifying.”
“Terrifyingly funny,” Sirius corrected. And it kinda had been. James knew that one day- probably not for a good time, but still- they would all laugh about what had just happened.
He was about to suggest they finish their mustaches since everyone had gone back inside, when he was proven wrong by a shrill, “You could’ve gotten killed!”
Lily Evans was crossing her arms, red as a beet with narrowed eyes. James rolled his own eyes and said, “Go away, Evans.”
She shook her head dramatically. “What were you thinking?”
“I know what I’m thinking now,” Sirius muttered. “But I don’t think you’d enjoy the way it depicted you-“
“Oh, piss off, Black!” Lily shrieked, and James widened his eyes because THAT was a new development! He wasn’t aware Lily could cuss!
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Peter said nervously, because of course he did.
James cut him off with a glare at Lily. “Don’t tell my best friend to piss off,” he said defensively. “And I wasn’t going to die. I won't until I get revenge on you for the hair incident-“
“Not gonna lie mate, I think this’ll be the new hair incident,” Sirius corrected.
“After the pink hair incident,” James said. “So anyways, why don’t YOU piss off?”
Lily got even redder, if possible. “YOU’RE TELLING ME TO PISS OFF AFTER WHAT YOU DID?” she roared, her terrifying voice echoing off the walls. “YOU COULD’VE DIED, YOU COULD’VE KILLED US ALL! HERE I THOUGHT YOU ONLY LIKED CAUSING MISCHIEF, BUT YOU JUST PUT OUR LIVES IN DANGER WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!”
Peter looked as though he was about to cry. Sirius looked in shock. And James…
“You sound like a lion," James remarked.
Instantly, Sirius’s shock wore off and he was beaming. “Lily the Lion!” he said as Lily sputtered.
Peter forced a smile. “Name kinda fits.”
Lily was speechless. She sat there for a few seconds, and finally she said, “UGH!” and stomped her foot, turning and storming back into the classroom. “I hate you, James Potter!” she screamed over her shoulder.
“I hate you more, Lion!” James called back, and he smiled because he knew he’d won that time.

Remus Lupin
Remus was in the hospital wing, and he was so bored.
“When can I go back, Madame Pomphrey?” he whined, straining against the tray of lunch she’d unceremoniously set on top of him.
She quirked an unamused eyebrow from where she was cleaning out a patient’s bedpan. “When you’ve eaten enough from that so you can lift it.”
Remus looked down at the tray, which had piles of untouched sandwiches and soups that looked delicious but just weren’t appetizing after the moon. His parents had never made him eat after the full- they'd been a little too complacent with his wants since he was five years old. Remus thought, ironically, that an education was the first thing he actually had to fight for.
“You know I don’t have an appetite,” Remus said, even though it was only partially true. He just didn’t like eating after the full moon. It made him feel… ravenous. Like there was still a wolf inside him. He liked waiting until a few days after, when he felt more human.
Madame Pomphrey seemed like she’d seen completely through that lie. “Your stomach was growling earlier,” she said sharply. “You lost five pounds in one go last night; and you need to eat it back.”
Remus tried to tear his gaze off the sandwiches, but he couldn’t. They did look good, but he felt sick just thinking about the way he’d devour them. Even if he didn’t have fangs anymore, and hands instead of claws, he was still part werewolf. And that wasn’t something he expected anyone to understand, but it made sense to him.
There was a sigh, and then Madame Pomphrey was sitting down on the edge of the bed, making the tray rustle a little. She looked down at him, and Remus really did feel like a child for a few seconds. “It’s okay to be hungry, Remus,” she said softly. “And I can assure you, you’re not a monster when you eat. You’re an eleven-year-old boy.” She ignored the faint complaint from him and added, “I guess eleven-year-olds with an appetite are somewhat like monsters. But you know what I mean.”
Remus sort of did. He supposed that didn’t make his reasons any less valid, but it did give him a reason to shakily pick up the ham-and-cheese sandwich in front of him and take a bite.
He’d missed food. Merlin, he’d missed food.
Half the sandwiches were devoured before he’d had the sense to look up and manage, “’Anks, ‘adam ‘omphy.”
“Manners, dear,” she said, rolling her eyes with a faint smile on her face. “You really are an eleven-year-old boy, aren’t you?”

*

When Remus returned that night, Sirius nearly leapt out of his bed and started towards him. Remus was worried they were going to hug, but then Sirius tackled him and Remus was on the ground, still processing as Sirius lightly punched his shoulder and exclaimed, “Where have you BEEN?!”
Remus felt conflicted, along with the faint pain now in his shoulder. His father’s words were still ringing in his mind. You can’t have friends. They will find out.
“Remus?” Sirius asked, swiftly climbing off of Remus and offering him a hand.
Remus took the opportunity he was given and hauled himself to his feet, ignoring both Sirius and his hand. “Visiting family again,” he said in a low, grumbly voice that he hoped screamed go away.
Peter, from where he was perched on his bed with thousands of textbooks around him, cracked a smile. “Your family seems more protective than mine.”
James snorted, idly tossing a textbook from hand to hand. “Esteban doesn’t seem like the protective type, mate."
Remus watched Peter’s eyebrows furrow confusedly. “I’m not talking about him,” he said obliviously.
Sirius and James exchanged an eyeroll like really? And Remus noticed they didn’t include him in it. He supposed that’s what he would get, for leaving them all the time and being so harsh.
“Okay,” Remus interrupted, to diffuse some of the jokey mood. “I’m rather tired. Goodnight.”
Sirius’s face fell, and he followed Remus like a lost puppy. “James was going to sneak to the kitchens again,” he wheedled hopefully. “We could all go.”
Although that did intrigue Remus, and he would be able to find the kitchens quicker than James, he forced himself not to react. “I’m exhausted, Sirius,” he said, trying to make his voice sound final and stern, like professor McGonagall the last time James tried to do a cartwheel in the middle of her class. “I want to go to sleep.”
He could almost hear the eyeroll from James- and granted, his werewolf senses were sharp enough that he probably could hear it if he really tried. “Let him sleep, mate,” he said, and the scorn in his voice was as apparent as Remus’s sternness. “He doesn’t want to talk to us. Clearly."
Remus almost wanted to change his mind at that. They didn’t like him, they didn’t think he cared, they thought he was boring- but wasn’t that what he wanted them to think? He didn’t need friends. He needed people he knew, people he wasn’t close to so they’d never find out his secret. He didn’t need James and Sirius and Peter to have fun with. He just needed to go to sleep.
So he just nodded, ignoring the puff of frustrated air from Sirius, and said, “Goodnight.”
The pristine Black family owl glided into the Great Hall in the morning, and Sirius gripped James’s arm in a way that probably would have broke Remus’s off. “Not again,” he muttered, his face pale.
James squinted up at the owl and shook Sirius’s hand off. “It’s not a Howler,” he announced hopefully. “It probably won’t even be that bad, don’t worry.”
Remus wasn’t sure about that, but he kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t sure why he was sitting with them still, anyways. Probably because he had nowhere else to go.
Peter squinted up at the owl too, for lack of original things to do. “It doesn’t look like a large letter,” he observed rather smartly.
Sirius groaned. “That’s even worse. Mum never writes small letters unless she’s so pissed that she can’t do anything else.”
Remus stabbed his scrambled eggs, and before he could stop himself he blurted, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
He expected Sirius to smile or something- they were better acquaintances than Remus and James, at least- but he scowled and kept his eyes trained on the owl. “Where was that the last time I got a Howler?” he muttered to himself, so quietly that Remus’s ears could barely hear it.
Oh. The first time Sirius had gotten a Howler from his mum, James and Peter had calmed him down and Remus had run. Of course he’d run away; it seemed obvious to him at the time. His ears couldn’t take the noise. It was so loud and he was honestly worried he’d throw up. But clearly Sirius hadn’t realized that.
“I didn’t mean to,” he muttered back stupidly.
Sirius glared at him. “What’d’you mean, you didn’t mean to-“
The owl finally landed at their table with a flurry of wings and a screech that sounded about like Sirius’s mum. Sirius groaned again and snatched the letter off the owl, tearing open the envelope with a vigor. Remus wanted to read it with him, but instead he let James and Peter lean over Sirius’s shoulder and kept eating his eggs. It was almost unbearable, not knowing what the letter said. But it was okay, Remus told himself firmly, because acquaintances didn’t read other people’s letters. And Remus didn’t need friends.
Sirius’s eyes got narrower and narrower as he read, and James and Peter’s got wider from surprise. Remus tracked their eyes getting towards the end of the letter and when that happened, Sirius made fists with it, crinkling the paper and tearing it viciously. “I hate her!” he snarled.
Peter gawped at the remains of the letter, thrown on top of his eggs. “I’m sorry, Sirius-“
“Don’t,” Sirius said, his voice getting deadly low by the second. Remus pretended he wasn’t looking.
James looked like he wanted to nudge Sirius’s shoulder or something, but Sirius was too explosive at the moment. “Mate, d’you want to talk?” he asked apprehensively.
Sirius didn’t say anything, just pushed out his chair and rushed from the room with a clatter. Remus stabbed one of his eggs aggressively with a fork and made himself stay still.
He heard James and Peter talking in low tones, and tried very hard not to eavesdrop. But it's hard when you have enhanced hearing and they’re literally right in front of you.
“Can’t believe his mum would do that,” Peter was saying.
“I can,” James responded brashly. “She’s a right prick.”
“Still,” Peter said, and Remus saw him wringing his hands. “It’s awful, sending him away on his own Christmas Break.”
“And to Durmstrang,” James muttered, sounding a bit scared. “He’ll be eaten alive.”
“I mean…” Peter said, shrugging. “There’ll only be a few people there.”
James scoffed, and Remus could’ve sworn he’d heard a tremble in his voice when James said, “The ones with rubbish families. The rotten ones.” He paused, then whispered, “They’ll toughen him up, alright.”
“They’re going to kill him,” Peter marveled quietly.
Remus felt a stab of fear, and so he stabbed his poor scrambled eggs once again. Then, for lack of things to do, he looked up and asked, “What’s wrong?”
James looked at him like he was a cockroach on the floor. “What’s it to you?” he said stiffly. “I thought you don’t talk to us.”
Remus didn’t know what to say to that, because it was true and yet it wasn’t true, and he was admittedly worried about Sirius. He cast his eyes down to his plate and stabbed the scrambled egg so hard that the fork clanged against the plate.

Peter Pettigrew
James and Peter had spent the remainder of those two weeks before break trying to cheer up Sirius. Sirius wouldn’t have it. He was just… serious. Huh, Peter hadn’t noticed that pun before.
“I’m sure they’re not that strong in Durmstrang,” James said awkwardly in Slughorn’s class the day after that letter.
“I bet the rumors aren’t true about Durmstrang,” Peter said nervously in professor Elkins’s class the next week.
“They probably don’t eat full cows alive-“ James started in McGonagall’s class.
Sirius put his face in his hands and groaned. “In Durmstrang!” he finished forcefully. “Now piss off!”
They didn’t speak for the rest of the period, except when Professor McGonagall gave Sirius a detention for his language.
Remus had been quiet about the whole affair, and Peter was inclined to believe he didn’t even know. For some reason he’d been trying to ignore them all- which was annoying for James and Sirius but unbearable for Peter, because his transfiguration grade was plummeting to new depths. Peter didn’t understand why Remus was being so distant all of the sudden. It almost seemed like he'd been threatened into not hanging out with them, and the only person Peter thought would do that was Esteban, but that didn’t make sense at all.
But no matter what was going on with Remus, he’d been Peter’s first friend. Peter wasn’t going to give up on him so easily.
That night, he caught Remus right before Remus went to the bathroom to change. (He always did that; Peter supposed he just wanted total privacy). “Remus!” he called, bounding up to him and catching his arm.
Remus’s entire body went still, and he snatched his arm away from Peter. “What?” he asked.
His tone wasn’t that rude, and Peter took it as a good sign. He tried to muster up his baby seal eyes and forced a nervous smile. “How’s Herbology?” he blurted, because wow he didn’t plan this conversation out.
Remus looked disgusted, which was unlike him. usually Remus was the only one not disgusted by Peter’s social interactions. “I guess?” He motioned towards the bathroom door, and Peter’s heart sank. “Can I go-“
“I need to use your transfiguration notes!” Peter blurted again. He supposed he could’ve worded that nicer, but it was the truth.
Remus’s demeanor turned almost professional. “Oh,” he said robotically. “Sorry. Still trying to catch up from last week. Ask Sirius or James.”
Peter knew full well what would happen if he asked Sirius or James. He’d be laughed out of the room. His low intelligence tended to be a point of joking for them, and that’s why he always went to Remus.
But Remus was giving him a blank stare, so Peter brought his eyes to the ground and said meekly, “Alright.”
Remus nodded, not friendly at all, and slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
Sirius and James were in the common room, playing a game of gobstones. Peter knew one thing; he wasn’t going to ask for their help. He wasn’t going to get laughed at in front of all the Gryffindors; he was freaking out just thinking about it.
But he really needed that transfiguration homework…
Peter briefly wondered if he should do it himself, but the thought was disregarded as absurd. He scanned the room, trying to find James or Sirius’s homework (if they’d even done it).
An open trunk caught his eye, next to Remus’s bed. It had a paper sticking out of it, and Peter saw gold for a second. He’d won the lottery! Remus’s transfiguration notes, right there!
He’d have to be quick about it, since Remus was in the bathroom and Peter was already feeling guilty. He tiptoed over to Remus’s trunk and quietly grabbed the paper, hating how loudly it crinkled. Remus must’ve held it and crinkled it a lot… Peter supposed Remus liked holding transfiguration homework. He shot one last glance at the mahogany bathroom door and opened the crinkly paper.
Dear Remus,
It’s great that you’re excelling in your studies. And I’ve heard from your mother that your physical health is improving. At this rate, you might weigh the size of a normal eleven-year-old. Can you imagine? I know I haven’t always been supportive about you going to Hogwarts, but I’ll have to admit I was partially wrong.
Peter looked up from the letter to make sure Remus hadn’t emerged yet, his morals and curiosity having an epic battle. This certainly wasn’t transfiguration notes. This wasn’t anything that could help Peter, and yet Peter was still drawn to it. This was Remus’s mum or dad, talking to him so nicely. The Pettigrew family was nice… but not always to Peter. It was hard being the only person in the family that they’d diagnosed as a squib before he was even eleven.
Peter wanted to know what about this letter had made Remus read it so much, too. And so his curiosity won the battle, and he brought his gaze back down to the crinkled yellow paper.
However, you’ll notice I said ‘partially’. In your last letter, you talked about your new friends, and how you’re getting close to them. Remus, how many times can I say it? You can’t have friends. It hurts me as much as it hurts you to say so, but you know exactly my reasoning for saying it. And honestly, they’re purebloods. Sirius Black is among the people you call friends? You can never trust the Black family, Remus. Your friends won’t hesitate to hurt you once they find out- and if they’re your friends, they’ll find out.
Find out what? Peter furrowed his eyebrows and kept reading the letter, brain racing as fast as it could.
I’m really sorry, Remus. But please, distance yourself from them. It was fine when you had acquaintances- but with your condition, I’m afraid ‘acquaintances’ is all you are able-
“Get out,” said a low voice behind him.
Peter jumped like a grenade had been launched and wheeled around. The mahogany bathroom door was open, and Remus was in his pajamas, still managing to look absolutely terrifying.
Peter’s heart started pounding with panic and he blurted, “I’m so sorry-“
“Get OUT!” Remus shouted, lunging at him with a speed Peter didn’t know Remus had. Peter barely had time to step away before the crinkled letter was yanked out his hands, shoving him backwards. Peter stumbled into Remus’s trunk and almost fell over.
“Remus,” he pleaded, because he knew what Remus had done to Esteban. And Peter had done worse than just push him. Terror clouded his vision, and he could barely breathe-
Remus shook his head, repeatedly, and balled up the letter in his fists. “It’s private,” he said, and now he just sounded hurt. “You weren’t supposed to see it- how much did you read?”
“Almost to the end!” Peter squeaked, curiosity emerging through panic as he looked up at Remus through shaking fingers. “W-why don’t your parents w-want you to have-“
And then Remus was angry again, throwing the letter on the floor and getting up in Peter’s face. “GET OUT!” he yelled, face contorted with fury. “GET OUT, PETTIGREW!”
Peter started crying, like a pathetic child, stumbling backwards and out of the dorm room.
He nearly flopped down the common room stairs and saw Sirius and James playing gobstones still, James looking rather agitated. “Just lose already!” he exclaimed to Sirius.
Sirius snorted and moved a gobstone. “You wish-“ he looked up and saw Peter a few feet away, and his eyebrows raised. “Oh.”
“Eh?” James pushed his chair back and craned his neck around, looking for the mysterious person. Peter, being the mysterious person, tried to hide the tears on his face, but James saw anyways. His eyes went wide and he stood up, Sirius watching with a confused expression. “Let’s go back to the dorm room, Peter,” James said in an almost brotherly way, starting towards him.
Peter’s breathing got shakier and he managed to gasp, “No! Remus, he’s- mad at m-me-“
“Remus, mad?” Sirius said, standing up as well. “I’ve got to see this.”
“No no no no,” Peter muttered, shaking his head.
James made a concerned noise and put two hands on Peter’s shoulders, and Peter was worried they’d go up the stairs but then he just herded Peter to the gobstone table. “Stay here ‘till you calm down, mate,” James said. “Merlin, you’re shaking.”
And Peter was, because… what had just happened?

Chapter Text

James Potter
The Potter annual Christmas party was underway. It was always one of James’s favorite parts of the year, because- as much as he hated to admit it- his parents threw good parties. A mix of wizard and muggle music was playing on the speakers, and all the wizards were dancing in various forms of awkward and laughing at themselves. James was also laughing at them, of course.
He was anxious for presents when all of them left, ready for whatever his dad had said was ‘a family heirloom’ that James was going to get. He'd always known that his family was kinda rich, but he hadn't known they had family heirlooms. He barely knew what an heirloom was.
He was also anxious, of course, for Sirius, who was currently at Durmstrang and wasn't responding to James's letters. James was beginning to worry that the Durmstrang kids had thrown Sirius off one of their towers- if Durmstrang kids even had towers. James was fairly sure their school wasn’t the most architecturally sound, but that might’ve been all the rumors he’d heard from his pureblood friends.
James had written Sirius at least five times. Sirius hadn’t written him once.
“IT’S REALLY LOUD HERE,” Peter said anxiously to James, wringing his hands habitually and surveying the room of shouting, drunk adults. Apparently the Pettigrews were usually at the Potter Christmas Party, and James had never noticed. To be fair, Peter wasn't that notable.
James shrugged. “I think it’s fun!” he said loudly.
Peter crinkled his nose. “WHAT?”
“Nevermind,” James muttered. He wished Sirius was there instead. Then that made him feel bad, because Peter was still processing the fight he’d had with Remus. James didn’t understand why Peter was even friends with Remus at that point. One day he was nice to them, the next he was ignoring them like the plague. James thought that was rude; they were fairly clean!
Peter leaned up to James’s ear and shouted, “CAN WE LEAVE?!”
James doubted Peter’s intelligence levels sometimes. “THIS IS MY HOUSE. WHERE WOULD WE GO?”
Those words sunk in and Peter looked rather embarrassed. Not wanting to completely hurt his feelings, James admitted, “ACTUALLY, WE COULD GO UPSTAIRS IF YOU WANTED.”
Marlene McKinnon’s mum was doing the worm on the floor. Peter made a face and said, “YES PLEASE.”
James’s room was a pigsty, as he’d been told many times by Euphemia and Fleamont. James kicked aside a bunch of toy action figures and felt a bit embarrassed, but Peter just hopped over the pile and sat on his bed (the only clean part of said room). Awkwardness set in, and James wished he hadn’t suggested leaving the loud parties that he actually liked.
Finally Peter cleared his throat and squeaked, “I’m worried about Remus.”
James bit back a groan, because Remus?! Again?! “I’m sure he’s fine,” he said shortly. “Anyways, he yelled at you. It’s Christmas; just stop thinking about him.”
Peter shifted uncomfortably on James’s bed (he’d probably sat on the pile of Christmas candy James had been hoarding.) “I’m just saying,” he stated mildly. “He- he never yells like that. D’you think he’s hiding something?”
Merlin, Peter was annoying. James took a deep breath and forced a smile, hopping over to his bed as well and sitting beside Peter. “Let’s drop it, yeah?”
“But- but what if he’s in trouble?” Peter whispered.
Really, James didn’t care if Remus was in trouble. Remus was working with the enemy, and that was enough proof for James that he couldn’t be trusted.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” James repeated again, pushing his glasses up and trying to change subjects.
“What about Sirius?” Peter asked, his eyes going wide from fear.
He was going to give himself an aneurism. James did groan that time. “Pete, it’s Christmas,” he said slowly. “Everyone’s fine, alright?”
Peter looked unsure, but he managed a small, “Alright.”
James finally landed on a conversation topic, and his eyes lit up. “Anyways!” he said enthusiastically. “I’m too excited to be worried! My dad was talking about giving me a family heirloom for Christmas, and I bet it’s something super cool!”
That seemed to distract Peter. He sat up eagerly and said, “What if it’s gold?”
James scoffed, because gold was boring. “I hope not. You can’t do anything with gold. Money is stupid. I hope it’s something magic, like a magic carpet!”
Peter shook his head solemnly. “You don’t want one of those. My mum got one for us and it got angry because it wanted to run free. It carved a path out of the garage while we were sleeping.”
“WOAH,” James said in a hushed voice. Now he really wanted a magic carpet.
“What if it’s a record-player?” Peter said sensibly. “That would be cool.”
James shot him a look like really, because really? “A record-player wouldn’t be a family heirloom,” he explained patiently. “Plus, it wouldn’t be cool. It would be boring. I want something FUN! Something to help us with pranks!”
Peter’s eyes lit up. “What if it gives you superpowers?! Like invisibility and stuff?”
That would be awesome, but it crossed James’s line between reasonably stupid and too stupid. “Don’t be ridiculous,” James said, and Peter’s face fell. “Nothing can turn you invisible, even magic.”

*

Christmas morning arrived, and James did a full barrel-roll out of bed to celebrate. He immediately regretted it as he fell on his face, but the thought of Christmas got him back up and flying down the stairs.
Maybe he’d get a quidditch broom like he wanted! Or tickets to a quidditch game; even better! Or something from Zonkos, he LOVED Zonkos!
Euphemia Potter was yawning and pouring herself a mug of steaming tea when James raced downstairs. His parents had learned to wake themselves up on Christmas so they weren’t awoken by the missile that was James. James gave her a quick hug and looked around her shoulder to see what was under the tree.
Only there wasn’t a tree. James could’ve sworn there was a tree the night before.
James looked up at his mum and asked meekly, “Where’d the tree go?”
Euphemia had a sparkle in her eye, and she shrugged. “It’s right there,” she said mildly.
She was lying. James felt a stab of fear- was this a dream? He pinched himself, but he didn’t wake up. Had his parents found out about the hair incident, and took away the tree as punishment? Or did they find out about the thirty other things Sirius and James had managed to get detention for?
James blinked, and then the tree and his father were right where they were supposed to be, presents strewn across the floor just like normal. And his father was grinning, laughing good-naturedly at James’s stunned face.
He was holding…
“An invisibility cloak,” Fleamont said.

Remus Lupin
Christmas morning had Remus Lupin feeling rather like death itself.
The full moon was in a week, and that was usually when he started feeling like death itself… so it was normal. It just kinda sucked. Remus supposed he was eleven and had every right to pity himself just this once.
He rolled out of bed, barely catching himself and stumbling to the bathroom. His reflection made him wince in annoyance, because when his parents saw the giant bags under his eyes and the way his face was just about transparent, they would make those concerned parental faces and Remus’s Christmas would be more ruined than normal.
Darn.
He could hear faint Beatles music playing from downstairs, courtesy of his mum’s muggle upbringing. Remus thought it was Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, and he almost smiled because his parents knew that was his favorite. Then he realized his mouth muscles were barely working and he’d probably caught himself another cold.
“Life goes on,” he sang quietly under his breath. “Merry Christmas.”
The smell of pancakes assaulted his nose as he tumbled downstairs, joints creaking with every step. His father was flipping them with a window cracked open, and his mum was brewing a cup of tea. And then Remus did smile. Because his father knew to open a window so the smell wasn’t strong and his mother knew his favorite tea recipe and ‘Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da’ was playing on their crackly stereo, and Remus knew they were really happy he was home.
He was really happy to be home too, especially with the disaster that was his social life.
His mum (Hope) looked up from the tea on the counter and saw him, and her eyes did that stupid parental-concern thing. “Good morning, love,” she said softly, bustling around the kitchen table to hug him gently. “You could sleep in a bit more if you like-“
“I’m good,” Remus said, weakly squirming out of her embrace. He was going to have a good Christmas if… well, maybe not if it killed him because that would be counterproductive. But still.
His dad looked up anxiously from the stove and shot him a small smile. “I’ve got time before the pancakes cook,” he said, a quiet offer for him to go get some rest.
Remus shook his head and fought back a shiver- he should’ve brought his blankets at least. “How can I sleep when my favorite song is on?”
Hope’s eyes went wide. “We can turn it off-“
“Mum!” Remus interrupted, as loudly as his voice would allow. “I’m okay. Really.”
Hope took a deep breath. She did that a lot before the full moon, probably to stop her protective instincts from taking over. “Do you want me to fetch you a quilt?” she offered, just like she always did.
And Remus nodded, just like he always did, because it made her feel like she was protecting him and made him feel warm. Hope turned back to the table and Remus felt the warm mug of tea being pressed into his hands. Then she was climbing the stairs to his room, even though there were blankets in the sitting room.
Then Remus’s father cleared his throat, and Remus knew why his mum had left the room. 'Quality time'. Of course.
“So, champ,” Lyall said. Remus hated when he said that; it sounded awkward and forced. “I heard that you got a letter from… who was it, the Pettigrew kid?”
Yep. A full, three page essay apologizing for going through his things and then asking why his parents didn’t want him to have friends, and then apologizing again and asking nervously if they were friends. “Yeah,” Remus said cautiously.
His dad was silent, flipping a pancake that hissed menacingly on the stovetop. Remus wondered if it was warning him.
“I didn’t write back, if that’s what you were wondering,” Remus blurted. He still felt guilty about it; he’d literally made Peter cry and there he was ignoring the apologies. He should be the one apologizing. He’d felt monstrous after yelling so angrily.
Lyall looked as conflicted as Remus at that. “Son,” he said uncomfortably, setting the spatula down on the counter and turning so his arms were crossed, facing him. “I think you took my letter… um, the wrong way.”
Remus pushed down a wave of agitation. “Was there another way to take it?” he asked haltingly, shivering. Merlin, it was cold.
Lyall’s eyebrows creased, making him look a few years older. Remus hated how old he made his parents look. “You don’t have to ignore them,” he said finally. “Just… distance yourself a little.”
“That sounds awfully like ignoring them,” Remus said quietly, remembering sitting there as Sirius called for him in the dark. “How else am I supposed to not be friends with them?”
“I didn’t… I shouldn’t have…” Lyall looked as confused as Remus had ever seen him. It looked rather like he was swallowing a lemon while not knowing that it was a lemon. “I was wrong,” he said finally.
The agitation pushed firmly at Remus’s temples, and he fought it back. I’m not a wild animal. “You should’ve realized that,” he whispered, forcing his voice to be even, “Before I ignored them for three weeks. And now they don’t like me anymore.”
Silence. Remus pushed back thick tears, hating how emotional he was getting. He stared at their mahogany floor tiles and wanted his mum to hurry up already with the blankets.
He heard his dad’s footsteps approaching and groaned internally, and then his dad was engulfing him in the awkwardest, dad-est hug he’d ever had. “It’s okay to be upset, Remus,” Lyall said, and Remus’s shivering slowly abated. “You’re eleven, and it’s natural for you to have friends. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard about the secret. You’re still a child.”
“I wouldn’t consider myself a child anymore,” Remus said shakily. “I’m more wolf than kid-“
“Don’t say that!” Lyall said harshly, and Remus flinched at the volume. His dad’s voice got quieter. “It’s not true. You don’t want to be a werewolf, and it’s not your fault you want friends. Everyone wants friends. I just… I got paranoid. It’s my first time doing this; sending you to a school without us to protect you. I didn’t want you to get hurt-“
“But that’s a part of life,” Remus blurted. “Dad, you can’t protect me. I thought you’d know that after-”
After Greyback.
Lyall squeezed him a little tighter and let go of him, and Remus pulled himself away and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry, Remus,” Lyall said softly. “You deserve friends. You… you need friends. I shouldn’t have stopped you. I was just scared.”
And fine. Remus understood that, even if he was still a little upset. He understood being paranoid and worried for no reason, he understood putting heavy blankets over windows so nothing would get in, he understood triple locking the doors at night- and yeah. He understood trying to push people away. He got it.
Faint smoke filled his senses, and he started laughing suddenly. “Dad, the pancakes!”
Lyall said some words Remus wasn’t about to repeat and rushed over to turn the stove off.
A soft wool blanket wrapped around Remus’s shoulders and his mum kissed the top of his forehead. Remus grumbled a “Thanks, mum” and squirmed out her hold.
Hope pointed to the untouched tea in his hands and said, “Aren’t you going to finish that?”
And Remus thought about it, and finally turned to head up the stairs again. “I’ll finish it in my room,” he said, and he could’ve sworn Hope’s eyes lit up happily. “I’ve got to write a letter.”
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, yeah, the record player crackled as Remus climbed the stairs. Nah la la la life goes on.

Peter Pettigrew
A few days after Christmas break, Peter’s mum knocked on the door of his room with a wide smile and stack of letters in her hand. “You have friends!” she squealed, which usually would be offensive but given Peter’s track record of friends, was fair.
Peter grinned and leapt out of bed, grabbing the letters. His mum kissed his forehead before he managed to run away and did the weird melty-eye-thing that parents do when they’re embarrassingly proud. “Who are they?” she asked, her wide eyes trying to scan the letters in Peter’s hands.
Peter’s cheeks lit up even though there was no one else in the room. “Mum! It’s just James and Remus.”
His mum’s face hardened a little, and she nodded. “Glad that Sirius boy isn’t writing to you. His family’s-“
“A bunch of Slytherins,” Peter interrupted. “I know. Mum, what would’ve happened if I was in Slytherin?”
His mum’s eyes clouded over. “You’re too nice to be in Slytherin,” was all she said. Then she tried to kiss his forehead again, and Peter pushed her away.

*

James’s letter was the embodiment of James.
PETER!
YOU WERE RIGHT! I never thought I’d see the day, but it’s true!!! Remember when you told me my family heirloom would give me superpowers. IT DOESSSSSSSSSS!
Well, only invisibility. But still!! My dad thinks it would fit all three of us, and I’m SO EXCITED! When Sirius finally responds to my freaking letters he’ll also be excited!!! You should be excited!!!
I already have some prank ideas to try out. I’ve been thinking of planning a big one for the end of the year, just to make sure everyone remembers us for next year. But it’ll probably require a lot of magic, so you’re gonna need to figure out transfiguration before you get expelled. Don’t worry, I’ll help! I have one of the highest grades in the class, even if McGonagall won’t admit it!!!!
And pranks against LILY, TOO! And Snivillous- it’s about time we sorted him out. And Remus, if he fights on Lily’s side again. I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!, James.
Peter was a bit concerned how many capital letters there were, and the words were barely legible, but he was still excited. And glad James would help him with magic before his mum figured out he wasn’t doing good in his classes. He didn’t know if he could handle her disappointment.
Remus’s letter was more surprising. Peter hadn’t expected him to even write back after he’d screamed Peter out of their room. But his letter was actually pretty long.
Dear Peter,
It’s alright. Everyone gets curious, and I know you thought my letter was a transfiguration paper. It was just nerve-wracking to see you going through my stuff, and I panicked. But I get it. You are a Gryffindor, after all. We’re too stubborn and brave for our own good.
I’m sorry for yelling at you, honestly. I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I know you didn’t mean to go through my private notes, but in the moment I thought you were trying to read my personal letters. I shouldn’t have yelled though, and I hope you can forgive me for that.
I can’t really talk about why my parents sent that letter. It was my dad, really- and he wants me to have friends. It’s a long story, but he was just worried that you guys wouldn’t like me. I get sick a lot, and clearly I leave for home sometimes when I get sick. My parents are overprotective and they were worried that once you all found out how much I get sick, you’d be scared to be around me. That’s it, really. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you lot because of it, too. I just get worried sometimes.
Sincerely, Remus.
Peter understood that- getting worried sometimes. And his immune system wasn’t the greatest either, although Remus’s was undoubtedly worse. He wondered why his parents would be so worried about him getting sick. Maybe they didn’t think James and Peter and Sirius knew how to take care of him… which was true, but still.
That letter seemed to clear up a lot of his worries, though, and it felt nice just to receive it. He got another letter from James detailing the quidditch broom he got, and one from Remus about how a magical plant he’d received started responding when he played the Beatles (that letter was at least five pages; probably the most Remus had ever said to him).
No letters from Sirius, still. Peter was starting to get really worried.
There was a sharp knock on his door, and he looked up and started to say, “Mum, I’m not going to read you the-“
And then he stopped, because there was Esteban, cigarette hanging out of his mouth and wearing a dark green suit.
Peter stuttered for a bit, and finally slammed his mouth shut. “Merry Christmas to you too,” Esteban said darkly, clomping inside his room and slamming the door shut.
Peter was worried. He knew Esteban knew dark magic- he was a Slytherin, after all- and he knew his parents hated him. Why would he be here?
Esteban raised his eyebrows at him, lifting Peter’s desk chair easily with one hand and dropping it beside his bed. He took a seat and asked, “Cat got your tongue?”
“Why’re you here?” Peter managed to say.
Esteban huffed. “Rude. Your mum invited me. She’s trying to patch things up with me so I don’t… how’d she put it?” he contorted his face and said, “Go to the dark side. That was it.”
“W-what dark side?” Peter asked, trying to stop his voice from shaking because it sounded terrifying.
Shaking his head, Esteban leaned over and ruffled Peter’s hair. It made Peter’s head hurt with the roughness of it. “You’re a sheltered one,” Esteban observed, his Scottish accent slipping through his filtered British one. “You’ll know when you’re older, mate.”
Mate? That was interesting. Esteban was only nice to him when he was trying to get something out of Peter. Peter pushed back panic and stuttered, “W-what do you want?”
Esteban cut right to business, just like a Slytherin would. He dropped the charming manner and said, “I need to know where this Sirius kid is. Bella and Narcissa are wondering, they’re worried his mum murdered him.”
He said this so casually that Peter wondered if Sirius’s mum was capable of murder. Peter resisted the urge to slide away from Esteban and said, “I think he’s at… Durmstrang?”
“Durmstrang?” Esteban confirmed. “The Durmstrang?”
Peter nodded. “Just for Christmas break, I t-think-“
“They’re going to eat him alive,” Esteban whispered, a small smile spreading over his face. “Bella and Cissa are going to love this! Bloody hell!” He pushed back Peter’s chair, scraping it on the floor, and pointed sternly at him. “Don’t tell your mum I said that,” he threatened, starting to leave the room.
“Wait!” Peter blurted suddenly. “Why would they love their cousin being… eaten?”
Esteban rolled his eyes. “You’re really stupid,” he said bluntly. “Sirius’s spirit will be broken, and he’ll finally conform to his family out of fear. Obviously.”

Sirius Black
Dear Sirius,
It’s me, Peter. Sorry, you probably know that. My name’s on the envelope, and it’s my owl… anyways.
Are you okay? I’ve written to you five times and you haven’t responded. Not that you have to respond or anything. You’re probably busy. I just hope you’re alright.
-Peter.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Siriusssss.
I’m bored. It’s boring here without you. I have an invisibility cloak and it’s super cool. I told you that in my last letter and you didn’t respond, which makes me think you’re either being threatened into silence or you're insane because invisibility cloaks are AWESOME!
Did Remus write to you? He wrote to me, something about how he’s sorry he’s been ignoring us. It was very prim and proper-like and I wrote a letter back making fun of it. I didn’t call him princess though because you probably did that. If you got a letter. If you can even respond. If you’re not being threatened as we speak.
Do they really beat you up if you speak out of turn at Durmstrang? Have you been beat up? Cause that would suck but the scars would look pretty cool.
WRITE ME BACK!, James.
Dear Sirius,
It’s Remus. You haven’t responded to any of my letters and so over the past week I concluded that you hate me. Then Peter said you haven’t responded to him and I concluded that you weren’t wasting your paper responding to anyone but James. Then James said you haven’t responded to him and now I’ve concluded that you are dead.
But in case you aren’t, I’ve got to tell you about this plant I have. If you’re still mad at me for ignoring you, you can ignore this letter about Dalton and we’ll be even.
Dalton is my magical plant I got for Christmas. It’s like a muggle flytrap except it can eat a small dog, which is kinda cool except I have to keep it away from animals at all times.
Well, I was playing the Beatles last night and Dalton started DANCING. I didn’t know plants could do that! I drew a picture of him dancing and it’s going in our dorm for the remainder of the school year. He dances to ‘Here Comes the Sun’, ‘Twist and Shout’, and ‘Hold Your Hand’. Every other song he just sits there making these scary grumbly sounds and then I have to turn off the record player because I don’t want him to eat it.
So yeah. I’m sorry again for ignoring you all. My parents were getting protective and thought I shouldn’t be friends with you because I get sick a lot. Yes, they're a bit weird. But your parents are weird too so I think you understand a little.
Sincerely, Remus.
Sirius was just about to open the three letters in front of him when they were snatched out of his hands with the normal vigor and roughness of the Durmstrang seventh-years. Sirius gritted his teeth and looked up from the breakfast table to see his usual tormentors, all wearing black and snorting as they read the letters in front of him.
“Dykes,” one of the guys whispered under his breath, tearing up the first letter. Another guy laughed and held a letter in front of Sirius, but Sirius knew better than to grab it. He’d tried it the last week and it only resulted with him getting spit at.
“There’s a fourth one!” someone said gleefully as the first three letters were ripped to shreds. The burly man ripped open a fourth, small letter and Sirius clenched his fists under the table. He thought that would be the end of it, but then the burly guy started to read it aloud.
“Dear Siri,-“
And Sirius’s breath hitched. Regulus Black was the only person who ever called him Siri.
The burly person adopted a falsetto and read, “Christmas was hard without you. Mum’s been angrier, and she keeps yelling at me when I try to write to you. I’m going to sneak this one to you through Kreacher. Yesterday, mum made me try to use magic to take down the Christmas tree. She said I need to start harnessing my powers because I’m ten and almost old enough for Hogwarts-“
Sirius’s heart dropped. He’d been on the receiving end of that tactic before. It was exhausting, and sometimes it even hurt when you used magic that wasn’t ready yet. His mum didn’t care, of course.
The burly guy laughed at the noise Sirius accidentally let slip, and then Regulus’s letter was crumpled and thrown into Sirius’s plate of toast. Sirius fumbled for it and the first guy picked the plate up and swept it away, almost cackling.
“Poor little pureblood,” a snarky boy laughed. “Poor little rich boy. Poor little Hogwarts freak. Your mummy wants us to straighten you out-“
They were interrupted by the shrill bell that announced the beginning of classes. Even over Christmas break, classes continued for anyone still there. It ‘built character’, they said.
Sirius didn’t think that was true, because the four guys in front of him looked very angry to be building their character. The burlier one leaned down in Sirius’s face before Sirius could get up, his nasty breath filling Sirius’s senses.
“Get away,” Sirius whispered, forcing himself to look up because he was a Gryffindor and he didn’t run from Durmstrang kids.
The burly kid raised his thick eyebrows. “What was that, Siri?”
Anger coursed through Sirius’s veins and he shouted, “Get AWAY, you mudblood!”
He didn’t know what that word meant, but his mum told it to him enough times for him to know it was an insult.
The next thing he got was a slap to the face, quickly, before any of the teachers could notice. It stung Sirius’s cheeks and made him turn bright red.
The burly kid smiled, creepily, and Sirius noticed his teeth were sharp. “Sit up straight,” he said softly. “Tuck in your shirt. If I hear one more word out of you I swear I’ll punch the shit out of you. Your mummy wants us to make you behave and we will.”
“By slapping me?” Sirius managed, pushing back hot tears. “You Durmstrang kids are uncivilized.”
But he still sat up straight and closed his mouth after that. The burly guy sneered at him. “Good. Now get to class.”
And then he slammed his hands on the table, inches from Sirius’s hands.
 

Chapter Text

Remus Lupin

After far too long tearful goodbyes from both his parents, Remus was on the Hogwarts express platform yet again. It had been the full moon just a few days ago, and he was walking with a small limp. He knew there were a few scars on his face and he made a mental note to look more alive when he saw his acquaintances/friends/whatever-they-were.

“Hey, punk!” Esteban’s burly voice called out, and Remus flinched. Great.

He was in the process of limping onto the train when cold hands pushed him once again, and he barely managed to catch himself on the door. We need to stop meeting like this.

“Hullo, Esteban,” Remus said mildly, turning around to look up at Esteban’s furious face. “Come to beat me up? Or d’you want me to throw something at your face again, because I do have a trunk-“

Esteban’s fist was flying at Remus’s face before he could finish his sentence, and Remus barely ducked in time. Esteban’s fist hit the cold metal of the train door in a way that could’ve taken Remus’s head clean off, and Esteban said a few choice words rather loudly, wringing his hand. Remus took that opportunity to throw himself onto the train, his legs aching with every step. He flung his weak self to the right and blindly stumbled through the compartment, until-

“Remus!” Peter’s shrill voice called out, and his pudgy hands pulled Remus into a compartment. Remus caught his breath from the adrenaline rush and saw Peter and James sitting on either side of the bench. Peter was grinning at him happily, but James still looked rather miffed, so Remus decided to sit next to Peter.

“It’s been awhile,” he said lamely, trying to think of something to talk about.

Thankfully, Peter seemed to have acquired some conversation topics. He started prattling off about all the Christmas presents he got with an excited, high-pitched voice, and Remus just smiled and occasionally interjected comments.

Then James looked at the train door and broke into a grin. “Sirius!” he exclaimed.

Remus’s head shot up to see Sirius’s brash smile, but that wasn’t the case. Sirius was standing up straight. His shirt was tucked in, and a polite smile had crossed his face just as quickly as it left.

James was oblivious, as most eleven-year-olds are. He leapt up and strangled Sirius in a tight hug, chattering about his new invisibility cloak (that he hadn’t stopped going on about since Christmas). Peter and Remus exchanged a look as Sirius haltingly pushed James off of him and said some polite greeting.

Sirius Black wasn’t polite!

The train ride soon turned excruciating. James slowly realized that Sirius was barely talking back to him, and then started an interrogation of what was wrong until finally Sirius scowled and snapped, “I’m fine, James.” And then they rode the rest of the way in silence. Remus read a book he’d gotten for Christmas by the time they got there, with no interruptions. It was pathetic.

It was dark by the time they arrived Hogwarts, and Remus was shivering. James pressed up against him as they crossed the large gates, and Remus thought he was trying to offer his jacket but then he just whispered, “What’s up with Sirius?”

Remus shrugged/shivered, wondering why James assumed he knew. “Well, he was at Durmstrang for awhile. Maybe something happened there.”

Peter gripped Remus’s arm and pointed to Sirius, who was walking stiffly across the hallway to the Gryffindor Tower. “Esteban said Durmstrang was going to break his spirit,” he whispered.

Then there was silence again.

That night, James tried to get Sirius to play a game of gobstones. Sirius smiled, robotically, and declined. Remus and Peter exchanged another look like oh no.

Sirius went to sleep at eight. EIGHT.

Remus managed to pass out at about nine, which was miraculous for him. He was just having a rather odd dream where a hippogriff was telling him to follow his destiny or it would peck him to death, when he was awoken by a strangled noise of some sort.

Remus hated his enhanced senses. Someone had probably just snored, and there he was waking up because of it. The amount of sleep he lost because of his dormmates was probably unhealthy.

He heard the sound again and shot up out of bed like a rocket- because it was Sirius.

Remus didn’t need to stumble through the darkness because of his good night vision- another of the many perks of being a werewolf- but he did anyways to seem disoriented. “Sirius?” he whispered, ‘stumbling’ over to Sirius’s bed.

Sirius’s voice came out of his bed shaky and furious. “Go AWAY,” he hissed, and Remus heard another strangled noise.

Oh. He was crying. Right.

Remus turned right back around and headed to his trunk, because making tea was the only means of comfort that he had. He opened it as quietly as possible so he didn’t make Sirius suspicious, and as he brewed the tea he wondered what was wrong. He knew Durmstrang was bad, but was it that bad?

It made him slightly uncomfortable, how freaked out Sirius sounded. But Remus had ignored Sirius’s nightmares at least three times in the past few months, and he needed to start making up for it.

Remus headed back to Sirius’s bed and knocked on the bedpost, extremely uncomfortable with the idea of attempting to comfort a real, actual human (not a plant. Not a plant shaped like a human. A human.). He pulled back the curtains and found Sirius hunched over, shivering.

“Hey,” Remus whispered, climbing into the bed and being careful not to spill the mug of tea. "What's going on?"

Sirius’s bloodshot eyes landed on Remus and he whispered, “Go away. Go away go away go-“

And without warning he slammed a hand onto the covers, bunching them up and letting out a strangled sob.

Remus didn’t know what to do, so he just watched as Sirius bowed his head down and forced his breathing to even out. When he seemed normal again, Remus hesitantly offered the mug to him. Sirius’s trembling hands grabbed around the mug and he let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t even like this stuff,” he whispered to Remus as he brought it up to take a sip.

Remus felt rather stupid. “I’m sorry-“ he started, but Sirius shook his head quickly and his shivers started to abate. So Remus sat and watched, in silence.

Finally he whispered, “What happened in Durmstrang?”

Sirius laughed bitterly. “Why would you care?” he snapped. “You don't like us anymore."

Realization hit Remus like a truck, and he gawped at Sirius in the dark. “So they stole your letters,” he said quietly.

“How did you know?” Sirius asked angrily. Like a Devil’s Snare being threatened.

Remus held his hands up placatingly. “I wrote you an apology letter. My parents thought I got sick too much to have friends, so I cut myself off… um, sorry.”

It didn’t get any easier to admit that, but Sirius just sniffled and whispered, “Who writes an apology letter?”

“Me,” Remus said. “So what else happened? Why’re you proper, princess?”

Sirius snort-laughed- which was better than a sob-laugh- and quietly handed the tea back to Remus. “Thanks."

“Not the right topic,” Remus reminded lightly, turning to set the mug on the nightside table. “What happened?”

Sirius was silent for a few more moments, just huddled up in blankets and shaking a little. Remus sat and stared until he mumbled, “Mum told the Durmstrang boys to get me to behave like a gentleman.”

“Ew,” Remus said unprompted. Another laugh.

“Yeah. They… uh…” Sirius raked a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t that bad. Just got, um… hit a few times.”

Remus tried not to react to that- he had a feeling Sirius would freak out at a big dramatic reaction. “Okay,” he said as calmly as he could. “What do you want to do about it, then?”

Sirius clearly hadn’t been expecting that. “What?”

“You heard me,” Remus said plainly. “What are you going to do now? Are you going to be all proper now that they aren’t here?”

Sirius let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t know, Remus.”

Remus hesitated and hesitated and hesitated but finally he leaned forwards and put a hand on Sirius’s trembling shoulder. “I think being proper is right boring,” he said. “And it’s my job, anyways.”

Remus was worried he’d broken him for a few seconds, because Sirius certainly wasn’t moving. He was about to ask if Sirius had died when Sirius turned around to face Remus and wrapped his arms around him, tight. “Thanks,” he said, and he didn’t sound like Sirius. He sounded like a twelve-year-old boy that didn’t care how childish he acted, or how ‘pathetic’ it was to be hugged, or how ‘girly’ it was. He was only twelve.

The hug was hurting Remus’s injuries a bit, but he didn’t say anything. He hugged Sirius tighter and offered, “How about, every time you do something stupid and proper, I flick your forehead?”

Sirius laughed wetly and pulled away, and his posture finally relaxed a bit. “Sure, why not?” he whispered, and a bit of that Sirius Black attitude crept back into his voice. Finally.

Peter Pettigrew

James was ecstatic to try out his new invisibility cloak. Peter was absolutely terrified.

It was a week into January and Peter was wondering when James was going to drop the bomb and tell them what prank they’d do. Him and Sirius (who had gotten the essence of Sirius Black knocked back into him) had been staying up in the late hours of the night, planning. Peter and Remus would usually take the opportunity to guess what stupid things they were planning.

(Peter was really glad to have Remus back as a friend.)

But Peter did not want to use the invisibility cloak. When he’d talked about the heirloom giving James superpowers, he hadn’t thought much about them being transferred to Peter. He’d like to be the Friend of Superman, not one of the Supermen. He enjoyed getting the benefits of being popular without actually being popular, and he was rather good at it thus far.

So when James leaned over to him in Slughorn’s class and said, “Operation Cloak is a go,” all Peter could do was force a smile and whisper, “Yayyyy.”

James leaned over to notify Sirius, who’d been staring off into space and looking quite bored. Sirius’s eyes literally lit up, and Peter sighed internally because that meant they really were going to go through with it.

Remus swiveled around in his seat and whispered to Peter, “I’m assuming this means they’re planning something?”

Peter forced a smile. “Already about to do it. Something with the cloak…”

Slughorn took that opportunity to tell them it was time for independent work, since they were ‘mature first years’ and could 'handle themselves'. James and Sirius exchanged a look like they were about to prove him entirely wrong, and Peter briefly chided himself on his choice in friends.

“Right,” James whispered, scooting his chair as quietly as possible over to Remus and Sirius’s. Remus saw Peter was left out at his own desk and motioned for him to join, and Peter felt a little better.

“So,” Remus said resignedly, reaching to the right and flicking Sirius on the forehead. “Stop being all posture-y, Sirius. What’s your plan, James?”

James’s smile faltered a little at Remus’s questioning. Peter had noticed that James was a little colder to Remus, and honestly, he’d forgotten why. “Right,” he repeated, and Sirius leaned into their huddle excitedly. “Sirius and I’ve been perfecting this for-“

“A week,” Remus said in a dull tone. “We know. You kept us both up.”

Peter smiled nervously. “It was fine, we talked too-“

“Okay, anyways,” Sirius said offhandedly. Peter was a little miffed he interrupted him but even happier that he was back to normal. “James was saying that we’ve been planning and-“

“We’re going to put glue,” James added.

“On Snivillous’s seat!” Sirius finished, and he and James grinned foolishly at each other.

Peter was a little disappointed. “That’s the plan?”

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. “We need practice before we start doing good things,” he explained impatiently (impatient seemed to be a describing word for Sirius). “This is the perfect way to start, and it’ll piss off Snape!”

“Remind me what Snape did to you again?” Remus asked, rolling his eyes at Peter (but in a comradery kind of way!).

James puffed up his chest indignantly. “Made fun of my family and dared to talk back to us!”

“He didn’t do anything to me,” Sirius told Remus. “I just want to put glue on someone’s seat.”

“Right,” Remus said, sighing in a way that made Peter giggle because it made him seem at least forty. “Let’s do it, then.”

James seemed surprised Remus was going along with their prank. Peter was just excited that Remus was back.

Operation Glue-Seat (for lack of better names) was started. They ran into their first problem before they even put the cloak on-

“Does one of us have glue?” Sirius asked.

James whistled. “Right. Minor setback.”

Operation Glue-Seat was postponed while James and Sirius searched frantically for glue. Peter was starting to wonder if he could screw up a potion and make glue out of it, but he doubted that anything he intentionally messed up would work in his favor. His luck was a tricky, sometimes nonexistent beast.

“Nothing!” James hissed after a few minutes of digging through his bag. “UGH!”

Sirius snorted. “You sound like an angry cow.”

“And you sound like an injured pig, your point-“

“Injured!” Remus said to himself, grabbing his own bag and searching it without a second word. Peter craned his neck, trying to see what was happening, but Remus moved the bag away from him and muttered to himself.

Sirius nodded appreciatively. “He’s gone insane.”

Remus said, “Shut up,” without looking from his bag, and a few seconds later his eyes lit up and he pulled out a battered tub of…

“PASTE!” James whisper-shouted, trying not to attract attention as he lunged for the tub and cradled it like a baby.

Peter finally understood. “So paste will act as glue?”

Remus nodded, looking kind of proud of himself. “I always bring it, just in case I… in case I get hurt, in class, you know? It sticks on bandages but it should be good enough.”

Peter noticed Sirius’s eyes narrow a bit at the tub of paste, but all he said was, “Wicked, mate.”

James was about to die, Peter was fairly sure of it. He held up the tub of paste with an evil gleam in his glasses-clad eyes and said, “Let’s get to work.”

Operation Glue-Seat was back on for not two minutes before it hit its second obstacle.

“How’re we supposed to get them to not notice us disappear?” Peter asked anxiously.

James groaned. “Darn it, Peter. Stop thinking so much!”

That was better than their usual ‘think more, Peter’ so Peter took it. “Maybe,” he said, trying to think more anyways, “We could cause another distraction? I could start choking again-“

“That’s already been done,” Sirius said pointlessly. “They’ll be expecting it.”

Peter wanted to note that it was in a different class, but he had a feeling Sirius just wanted to do something flashier. So Peter racked his brain again and finally came up with, “We could just… slowly duck under the tables.”

“And never come back?” James asked skeptically.

Remus (Peter’s best defender since Christmas) shrugged and said, “It would work, so long as we did it slow enough.”

Sirius scowled and said, “That might take forever, howev-“

Remus flicked his forehead. “Too many words. Start lowering yourselves.”

With lots of grumbling and prodding, the four slowly lowered themselves under their group desk. No one seemed to notice, but Peter was sure it looked odd. It wasn’t his fault, though- he wasn’t used to people listening to his ideas.

When they were huddled under the tiny desk, Sirius whispered, “Next phase.”

James scrunched his face up and scooted away from Sirius. “Your breath, mate! Next phase is to get you breath mints, MERLIN-“

“Next phase is to put the cloak on,” Remus said helpfully, prodding Peter closer to James.

If they’d thought it was difficult to get under the desk, it was worse to get the cloak on. The four of them barely fit, and Sirius’s breath almost killed them all within the first second of being invisible. James literally almost gave up on the spot.

“Let’s go,” Peter said anxiously, because he knew it was a matter of time before they were caught. And plus, he hated being invisible.

Remus found his invisible arm and whispered, “Stand up. Slowly.”

They all stood up at different rates and slammed heads with each other. Sirius tumbled over Remus and almost knocked them all over. Peter’s gut hit the desk and he gagged.

“Right,” James muttered weakly, rubbing at his invisible head. “Move out.”

Moving under the cloak was one was a difficult affair. Twice Peter stepped on Remus’s foot and Remus jumped a mile. About eight times Sirius decided he wanted to scare James with his breath and their cover was almost blown. The five feet to Snape’s desk was a nightmare.

But then they made it, and Operation Glue-Seat encountered its final obstacle.

Severus was still in his seat.

“I have an idea,” Sirius whispered, his words ghosting in Peter’s ear. “Smack him out.”

“No!” Peter hissed indignantly, staring at Severus through the invisible shield.

James, who had no such qualms, pushed himself forward just a hair and slapped Severus’s shoulder. Severus jumped embarrassingly high out of his seat and Peter suppressed a giggle as half the class stared.

Then Slughorn rumbled, “Where’d those four boys get off too?” and Operation Glue-Seat was in crunch time.

It turns out, sometimes to work as a team you need the threat of multiple detentions over your heads. They were one entity- well, Peter mostly just watched but still- lunging forwards and dumping half the tub of paste on Snape’s chair, Remus’s hands barely escaping before Severus sat back down, and sprinting quietly as possible to the back of the class once again. They skidded around their desk and fell on the floor, James pulling the cloak off them and stuffing it in his bag in one solid movement as Slughorn appeared around the desk, peering down at them in confusion.

Sirius smiled up at him and held up his potions homework he hadn’t done. “Forgot to turn this in, professor,” he said sweetly.

They heard a yell of, “My seat! I’m stuck to my seat!” and Peter had never felt as exuberant as that very moment. Their first official prank was a success.

Sirius Black

It was the middle of the night yet again, and Sirius was wide awake.

He hated those Durmstrang kids. He hated them so much, but he was starting to hate his mother more.

How could she send him there, and tell those kids to ‘make him behave’? Sirius vowed, right then at three in the morning, that he would never behave, just to spite her. He would be the worst member of the Noble House of Black that there ever was, and she’d be so ashamed and it would be hilarious.

Sirius almost wanted to go to Remus- even though he hated that tea with his whole being- but then he remembered that Remus was visiting his parents, again. He briefly considered waking up Peter just for fun, but the kid was snoring so loudly Sirius doubted a grenade could get him out of bed. And that left James, who was Sirius’s best friend but not really in a ‘talk about your problems’ way. Mostly because he was eleven-years-old, and that wasn’t what eleven-year-olds talked about. (although Sirius was a year older than him; HA!)

But still, Sirius was getting kind of bored. And he wasn’t about to go back to sleep and see those boys from Durmstrang again.

He forced himself out of bed and padded across the cold floor diagonally to James’s bed. He praised himself for not running into James’s trunk and hesitated at the curtains, wondering if he should be selfish enough to wake James up.

Then he was like screw it, I’m Sirius Black and was selfish anyways. He pulled on the curtains and whispered, “James?”

James’s blurry figure sat up, groggily, and squinted at Sirius in the darkness. “You’re up early,” he said in a deep hilarious voice.

Sirius huffed a laugh and crawled into James’s bed like he usually did when they planned pranks. “I couldn’t sleep and I got bored.”

“And everyone knows I’m the cure to boredom,” James finished happily. He pulled his legs onto his chest and rocked back and forth, clearly fighting exhaustion. “Why couldn’t you sleep? Nightmares about your mum?”

Sirius’s laugh was gone now. That was awkward… “About Durmstrang,” he forced out, in what he hoped was a blank voice.

James stopped rocking deliriously and stopped to look at Sirius, even without his big glasses. “You alright, mate?” he asked quietly.

Sirius blinked, once, twice. “Fine,” he said, even quieter even though it wasn’t a contest (although Sirius liked making things into contests. It was better that way.) “It was just… um. It sucked, over there. I dunno.”

James cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wanna talk about it?”

Sirius kinda did, but he was worried about talking about it to James. What if James judged, or didn’t want to talk about things that deep? Sirius didn’t want to lose his best friend.

“Nah,” he lied, a smile automatically curving on his lips. “’M good. We could plan our next mission, though-“

And then James had cast an excited Lumos, closing the curtains and starting to chatter over Peter’s snores about all his latest ideas. Sirius and him talked about prank stuff until they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore, and Sirius barely managed to slump back to us own bed before he passed out, finally nightmare-free.

*

Astronomy class was probably Sirius’s favorite subject. He loved looking at the stars (although obviously he’d never tell James; he’d have a field day with that information), and he loved knowing that he could find stars. It was cool, how wizards could pick out specific stars out of little, tiny dots. It made him feel safe, somehow.

But cheesy stuff aside, James was shaking his arm and hissing, “Operation Quidditch is a g-“

Sirius shook his head, earning an exaggeratedly shocked face from James. “Not tonight,” he said. “Wait till Remus is back.”

James leaned back on the concrete floor, staring at the sky with a pouty face worthy of Sirius’s. “Remus can be a downer, though.”

Sirius couldn’t deny that. But Remus knew magic, and he was cooler now. Plus, he helped Peter out and he still talked to Sirius when Sirius was having flashbacks of Durmstrang. Remus could be nice, honestly.

Sirius didn’t say any of that, obviously. He just rolled over so he was barreling over James, and James shouted surprised laughter and automatically rolled so he was clashing against Sirius. They had a worm fight, Peter eventually joining in and getting Sirius very much stuck between the two of them, until their astronomy professor screamed at them to shut up so the students could ‘see the stars’. Sirius was pretty sure their war wouldn’t hinder the telescopes, but they begrudgingly stopped anyways.

They charted the stars, Sirius getting more and more fascinated by the minute. He actually turned away from James and Peter so he could concentrate more, and James flicked him in the back with his quill but didn’t say anything.

The more Sirius worked, though, the more he kept wondering about Remus. Where did the guy go like, once every few weeks? Why did he get sick all the time? Why was he constantly shutting them out before he left?

Sirius was kinda frustrated that he didn’t have the answer to that. Because Sirius Black was brilliant, and brilliant people have answers to hard questions! This question was so annoying that Sirius finally got out a piece of paper and wrote,

What is wrong with Remus?

Then he scribbled that out cause that was kinda rude, and what if Remus saw that? He started again.

Why is Remus disappearing?

That was better, and it wasn’t wrong. Sirius looked at the blank page and felt another stab of frustration, because now he had to actually research. Darn.

He leaves one or two times a month, Sirius started, but that didn’t mean anything. He moved to the next thing he knew.

He gets sick a lot, usually after being outside a bunch. (or right before he leaves???)

He has cool scars on his face???

He never changes in front of us. Maybe he’s just really ugly or something.

He shuts us out for like no reason?

Sirius groaned to himself. He'd hit a dead end.

Peter’s nervous voice over his shoulder asked, “What’re you doing?”

Sirius jerked the piece of paper to his chest and shook his head for no reason whatsoever. “Nothing!” he said angrily, which would’ve been effective if his voice hadn’t squeaked. “It’s nothing, Pettigrew. Do your work.”

Peter seemed a little awestruck that Sirius Black had told someone to ‘do your work’. He finally shuffled away, and Sirius exhaled a bit and unwillingly turned to the telescope. He wondered briefly if he was being weird, charting Remus like he was indeed an astronomy project. He wondered if Remus might be angry if he found out.

But then those thoughts were thrown off the roof of the astronomy tower when he sat up so straight he almost knocked his head on the telescope.

A deathly bright moon was staring at him through the lens… just like all the other times Remus hadn’t been there.

He got out his paper and hurriedly started to scribble,

Remus is always missing when the moon’s really bright. WHY?

Is he like, scared of the light or something?

Who’s scared of the light but still go outside? THAT MAKES NO SENSE-

He was interrupted by a faint howl, distant on the grounds. Peter grabbed Sirius’s arm from behind (he seemed to do that when he was anxious, and Sirius almost always shook it off) and whispered, “Is that a-“

“Everyone inside!” professor Sinstra squeaked, and Sirius noticed her hands were shaking as she started to pack up their telescopes. “We’ll finish charting Jupiter tomorrow; come on.”

Sirius begrudgingly packed up his telescope. He wished he could stay outside and just look at the stars, but he probably wouldn’t really look at them as much as wonder what was wrong with Remus?

He debated tearing up the Remus Notes, but he was still curious. He decided to keep them.

James Potter

James didn’t know why everyone liked Remus Lupin.

Sure, he was kinda witty, but not as much as James! And sure, he helped with Peter’s homework and tried to be patient with him- but so was James! And okay, he had some pretty good additions to the pranks they pulled. But James made the pranks! Why did everyone like Remus Lupin so much?!

James’s voice of reason (which he prided himself for hardly having; it wasn’t good for pranks) told him that he really only disliked Remus because Remus was working with Lily in their prank wars. But still.

In fact, Lily and Remus had struck again once Remus returned from his parents’; they’d poured a powdery goo into James’s shoes in the middle of potions class. James angrily confronted Lily about it and she’d just giggled, saying, “It’s pixie dust! You can fly!”

James didn’t know what the flying bit was about, but apparently it was a muggle thing that Lily and Remus liked laughing about. James didn’t like it, not at all.

That had been the thirty-first of January, and the next day James made sure to avoid Remus with a vigor. And that was saying something, because James Potter hated ignoring people. It was a lot of work, and he loved talking.

That night, James climbed into Sirius’s bed without warning and whispered, “We’ve gotta get them back.”

Sirius jumped out of his sheets and yelped, his hair flying everywhere. “Merlin,” James said, unbothered by Sirius’s shock. “Do you ever cut your hair?”

Sirius recovered from his mini heart-attack and ran a hand through said hair. “Nah,” he said stubbornly. “Mother wants me to, and-“

“And therefore you won't,” James finished for him, nodding placatingly. “Right. I’ll go fetch Peter.”

“What?” Sirius asked, sleep settling into his voice again. “Wait, what’re we doing?”

James laughed at his best friend’s befuddled expression. “Planning a prank!”

“With Peter?” Sirius clarified.

James felt a bit uncomfortable- sometimes Sirius could be a little rude to Peter. “He’s our wild card, remember?” was all he said, clambering out of Sirius’s bed to grab Peter.

He was halfway through tiptoeing to Peter’s bed when Remus’s half-asleep voice called out, “James?”

James barely had time to react before Remus’s frail self barreled into him, on his way back from the bathroom. James caught Remus with one hand and blinked surprisingly. Remus looked a state. His hair was a Hippogriff’s nest, and his amber eyes had at least three layers of bags under them.

“Crowley, you look a state,” James said truthfully (because James Potter had no filter known to mankind), propping Remus up. “Go back to sleep, Remus.”

Remus blinked a few times, and his eyelids were almost sticking. “’Re we… is’t time to get up?” he slurred.

James shook his head and then remembered that there was no way Remus was gonna see it. “A few hours,” he corrected, and pushed Remus lightly in the direction of his bed. “Sleep, mate.”

The word ‘mate’ just slipped out, but Remus seemed a little comforted by it. It actually made James feel a little guilty; especially because he was blatantly about to plan behind Remus’s back. But he let Remus stumble back to his bed and went to wake up Peter.

Peter was a hard being to wake up. James had to shake him five times before he finally stalled awake with a “Whassit??”

When the three of them were gathered in Sirius’s bed, James raised his arms expectantly. “Gimme ideas to prank Lily,” he said quietly, knowing Remus was passed out but still being careful. “I need creativity, lads!”

Peter just blinked sleepily and said, “Shoe?”

James rolled his eyes (wild card indeed). “She already put stuff in my shoe, Pete,” he explained patiently. “Other ideas.”

Sirius drew his knees to his chest and yawned. “How early is it, mate?”

James shrugged. “About as early as when you woke me up last week,” he said, and instantly regretted it because Sirius visibly tensed. James quickly changed the subject and said, “Alright, we could send an owl to land on her head tomorrow.”

Sirius sniffed condescendingly (if that is a way you can sniff). “How would we get the owl to listen to us? We can’t even talk ourselves out of McGonagall’s detentions.”

That was fair, although James still secretly thought he was McGonagall’s favorite.

Peter piped up, “We could put a pillow… near her head and…” and then he nearly fell over. James caught him with one hand (once again he was the savior of the situation) and Sirius snorted, half-asleep.

“This is sad, guys,” James groaned, raking a hand through his hair as Peter curled up in a ball next to him. “Just sad. Come on, mates, there’s got to be something-“

And then he paused, because James Potter had just had a brilliant idea.

He leaned forward to tell the others the plan.

*

The next day they were ready. They descended the stairs to the Gryffindor common room with an excited air, because James LOVED pranks. When they found a Remus-free place they ducked under the invisibility cloak, and then they were off.

“Are we really doing this?” Sirius asked sleep-deprivedly to James.

James shrugged, just as tired as Sirius- although he was excited, he didn’t know how that worked. “Seems like it.”

“Isn’t it…” Peter shrugged. “Morally unethical?”

James rolled his eyes. That sounded like something Peter would say. “August is annoying anyways,” he said impatiently. “And Lily did it to me. What's the harm?"

And so they headed up the stairs to the owlery, James secretly becoming more and more nervous. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if they were being ‘morally unethical’. He was tired, more than anything. But Lily was being unbearable, and so they were going to dye her owl bright pink. Obviously. It made perfect sense.

They were almost at August and Richard’s cage, and James removed the cloak. There seemed to be no one else in the owlery, and Sirius and Peter were getting that excited gleam in their eye when a cold voice said, “We know what you’re doing.”

James reminded himself to take the cloak off later next time. The three of them turned around slowly to see Snivillous, Lily, and…

“Remus,” James said angrily. No, betrayed. No, furious. No, all of the above!

Remus didn’t look apologetic in the slightest. “I’m sorry, James,” he said anyways.

Severus started advancing, but Lily stopped him with one hand.

Severus begrudgingly stepped back- James would give him that; he didn’t try to jump in the situation like Remus. Lily looked coldly at James and Sirius and Peter. Her hair was in curly pigtails, and yet somehow she still managed to look terrifying. Probably because James was just about to dye August’s hair bright pink.

“Do you have any idea how morally unethical this is?” she started dangerously.

“Yes,” Peter muttered. James kicked him in the shin.

“It’s not a joke!” Lily said hotly. “It’s my owl, not yours!”

“It was my hair,” James retorted.

“Yeah, but an owl is an entire living being! Your hair isn’t alive! Would you have done the same thing to Richard?”

Richard hooted indignantly and pecked James’s shoulder, hard. No, James wouldn’t dare.

Severus laughed. Really laughed. Peter gripped James’s arm in terror and Lily shook her head, looking at him like the lot of them were just extra owl dung.

“You’re disgusting, James Potter!” she said in a very cartoonish fit of fury, turning on her heel and marching away.

Severus was quick to follow, grinning insufferably at James on his way out. And then there was Remus, hesitating between the two groups. James was glad that at least he had Sirius and Peter as a buffer-

Peter looked at Sirius and said “Want to grab some toast?”

Sirius grinned. “Race you!”

And never mind.

James crossed his arms, because being mad at Remus seemed like the only acceptable thing right then. “How could you tell her our plan?”

Remus was completely unbothered. He crossed his skinny, sweater-clad arms and said, “Probably as easily as you lied to me. Or tried to dye her owl’s hair pink. Or ignored me for a good bit. Take your pick.”

James didn’t know what to say to that, so he did take his pick. “You ignored us for a month!” he said exaggeratedly.

Remus might’ve been the definition of unbothered (Remus would probably know the definition of unbothered too). “And you were mad about it. I’d say I have every right to be a bit miffed right now.”

James hated Remus’s logic, probably because it was agreeing with his feelings of shame. “Okay, well I have the right to be mad at you for working with the enemy!” he said hotly, trying to look scary despite the fact that his glasses had slid down his nose and were trying to suffocate him. He tried to dramatically nod his head upwards to right them (because his hands were in a really cool pose).

Remus laughed. “Want me to get that for you?”

James was getting more and more frustrated by the second, especially because his glasses weren’t pushing up. He refused to uncross his arms and just wildly flailed his head, groaning, “Why are you so CALM?!”

He almost hit his head against Richard’s cage, and Remus muttered something that sounded like “idiot” before stepping towards him and sharply pressing his glasses back on his nose. The smell of owl dung rushed back into James’s nose and Remus said crisply, “You’re welcome. And I’m calm, James, because this was never a big deal. It's a prank war. Don’t screw it up just because you get too pissed for your own good.”

James wanted to get angrier at that- but yeah. He was rather good at getting too pissed for his own good, and he should probably heed some of Remus’s advice. As sleep deprivation wore off, he was starting to realize that he’d gotten angry at Remus for no good reason.

Remus was already walking out of the owlery, baggy Gryffindor sweater pulled around his shoulders as he braced himself for the cold. James cleared his throat awkwardly and called, “Thanks, mate.”

Pausing, Remus turned his head a little to quirk an eyebrow at James. “You’re welcome,” he said again.

“And I’m sorry,” James added pointlessly. “For ignoring you.”

He felt a little proud of himself at that, because James Potter was many things but apologetic was hardly ever one of them. Remus just smiled a little and said, “S’alright. You’re developing as a person.”

And that was why Sirius called him a princess. James scoffed and turned to retort, but Remus had already left.

James turned to Richard’s cage and said, “Guess I owe you and August a few apologies too.”

Richard glowered at him in a way that said ‘I will bring death upon you whilst you sleep’.

“And some biscuits?”

Richard’s glower became a normal glower, and James smiled.

Chapter Text

Peter Pettigrew

After the incident with the owls, James was actually a pretty decent human being. He complimented Peter five times at breakfast (Peter was reeling; he couldn’t even think of five compliments to give himself!), and talked to Remus instead of giving him the James Potter Side Eye. Like good friends, Sirius and Peter and Remus pretended the whole event had never occurred.

On about February third, things started going back to normal. Peter was thankful he could say there was a normal, that he had friends and he knew the way they acted on a general basis. James and Sirius became glued at the hip once again, planning pranks and teasing Peter and Remus, and Peter and Remus talked about Herbology (because that was a topic Remus could talk about) and Remus tutored him in basically all of his classes.

In professor McGonagall’s class, they started learning how to turn beetles into buttons. Peter was watching James and Sirius effortlessly flick their wands and turn the beetles back and forth from buttons, and wondering how they managed it.

“James,” he started timidly, because his beetle was still very much a beetle and he wasn’t about to let McGonagall see that.

James didn’t even look up, laughing at Sirius whilst balancing a beetle on his nose.

Peter prodded his shoulder from behind. “James?”

James jumped, and the beetle flew off Sirius’s nose and onto their desk. Peter’s eyes went wide- oops- and he squeaked, “Catch it!”

Sirius looked at the beetle squirming around their table in wonder. “Wild card!” he said happily to Peter.

James whooped excitedly and stopped immediately when McGonagall shot them a death glare. He finally turned to Peter and said, “Brilliant, mate! Let’s let all the beetles out!”

And that was why Peter sometimes feared his friends.

He couldn’t- no, didn’t want to, who was he fooling- do anything as Sirius carefully scooped up his beetle and lowered it off the desk and onto the floor. “Be free, Fredrick!” he called softly as the beetle scuttled confusedly away.

Peter understood that poor beetle.

“Guys,” he muttered, mostly to himself as James threw down his own beetle. “This wasn’t in the prank plans.”

“And that’s why you’re our wildcard!” James said. He clapped Peter on the shoulder and moved forwards, and Peter awkwardly went in for a hug before James shoved past him to get Peter’s beetle. Peter very uncomfortably removed his arms from around James’s waist and Sirius snorted.

There were three beetles on the floor now, and Peter did nothing but wring his hands and watch as James and Sirius went on a wild, sugar-rush sort of spree, running up to people’s desks and asking simultaneously, “Hi, can I free your roach?”

Peter wanted to cringe from second-hand embarrassment. Then a shrill girl asked them, “Why would we give you a roach?” and James proudly responded, “It was our boy Peter’s idea!” and Peter wanted to cringe himself into a coffin.

James and Sirius skipped over the Slytherin table, but the other Gryffindor first-years all respected them enough to give them a good amount of their roaches behind McGonagall’s back. Pretty soon, half the roaches were on the ground and James and Sirius were cackling. Peter silently willed McGonagall not to look at her own classroom ever again.

Remus approached him, stepping daintily around the roaches, and leaned a hand on the table in front of him. “Was it really your idea?” he asked patiently.

Peter turned bright red. “Obviously not!”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” He looked around at the slow chaos that was forming while McGonagall was helping a particularly dim student in the back, and grinned. “It is kind of fun,” he admitted in a low voice. “Don’t ever tell them I said that, though. I have to be the voice of reason or the school will be afire in seconds.”

Peter barely had time to giggle before McGonagall’s reedy voice shrieked out, “What in the name of Merlin is this?”

Sirius and James had their hands on their hips, standing on McGonagall’s desk as students scattered and tried to avoid the roaches. Professor McGonagall was standing only a few feet away from Peter and Remus, and there was a dangerous twitch in her eye. Peter tried to casually inch away.

Then James and Sirius waved obliviously at Remus and Peter and called, “Come join us, lads!”

McGonagall turned, slowly, to Peter and Remus. She raised one manicured grey eyebrow and said, “Well, ‘lads’?”

Peter felt sweat forming on his forehead. “I only spilled one,” he blurted.

He could hear Remus’s hand hitting his forehead next to him. McGonagall sighed and said, “Is that so. Mr. Lupin?”

Remus sounded a bit worried when he said nervously, “I’m sorry-"

“No matter,” McGonagall said, and she sounded exhausted. She raised her wand (for a second Peter thought she was going to crucio them, but he remembered that was frowned upon in their society) and wordlessly made the roaches disappear into several brown, four-holed buttons that rolled around on the floor of the classroom and caused the kids to stop screaming instantly. “No harm done.”

Then she turned back to James and Sirius, glaring at them from across the aisle and saying, “Good thing this is your last class of the day, yes boys? You four can go straight to detention cleaning up the buttons.”

“Four?” Peter whispered to Remus.

Remus looked rather pale. “It means we’re the boys, Peter.”

The class was dismissed a few minutes later, and Peter nervously stayed behind. It was his first ever detention at Hogwarts- Merlin, his mum would be so angry. He’d never hear the end of it! He’d be an outcast in his own family! He’d-

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, leaping effortlessly over a button-clad chair and skidding across the floor to Peter. He reached out and ruffled Peter’s hair in the most un-Sirius thing he’d ever done. “That was AWESOME, Pettigrew!”

“Brilliant idea,” James added from where he was stacking some buttons into an intricate game of jenga.

Remus was the only one actually cleaning up the buttons. He quirked an eyebrow at Peter and simply repeated, “It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?”

And Peter thought about it for a bit. Because yes, his mum was going to be angry. Yes, the Pettigrews would look at him with that snobby, pureblood judgement in their eyes at the next family reunion.

But they’d get over it. And honestly, this was kind of fun.

“Yeah,” Peter said, managing not to stutter. In celebration of that achievement, he bent down to pick up a pile of buttons from the floor and chucked them at Sirius.

Sirius spluttered and leapt away from Peter, gasping, “How DARE you?!”. James gasped in a much more excited way and suggested, “Button fight?!”. Remus rolled his eyes and tossed a button at Peter’s feet, mouthing game on.

“I’d better not see any trouble from you-” McGonagall said as she strode back into the room with four brooms.

Then she made a weird little choking noise because the four of them were already rolling around, throwing buttons at each other with a vengeance and shrieking and shouting promises of revenge.

Peter really WAS having fun!

Sirius Black

“Tell no one I’m in the library,” Sirius hissed to Remus, feeling his face turn bright red as he looked in disdain at the musty maple wood shelves surrounding them.

Remus shot him a look. “It’s not the end of the world, Sirius.”

“It is,” Sirius said in a way that anyone else would call 'dramatic' but he just called 'completely justified'. He bumped against Remus’s shoulder and added, “I might die, princess.”

Remus groaned. “Thought you’d forgotten about that name,” he grumbled, pushing Sirius off him uncomfortably. Sirius noticed Remus didn’t really like being touched, and made a mental note to put that in his actual notes of Remus’s weird habits.

“Why are you at the library, anyways?” Remus questioned, and Sirius cleared his throat. He hadn’t gotten that far in his plan- his plan having been ‘make Remus accompany him to the library because Sirius literally had no clue where it was and neither did James, and stealthily do research on where the heck Remus was disappearing to all the time’. He hadn’t thought much of the part where he had to explain things and get Remus to leave.

Sirius went through a mental list of dumb excuses and finally forced a nervous pout. “I failed my transfiguration quiz last week,” he said in a low voice, making sure there was no one else around to hear that (because even if it wasn’t true, it could ruin his reputation as brilliant and amazing). “I didn’t want James to know, so I decided to actually…”

“Go to the library,” Remus finished in awe. Sirius saw that he actually had a smile on his pale face, and then saw that it was close-lipped, per usual. “That might be the most mature thing you’ve ever done, Sirius. I mean, the bar was set low-“

“Oi-“

“-But still.” He scrutinized Sirius’s face (Sirius tried to remember what Peter’s face looked like when he failed the test, but it was hard to look dumb) and said, “I could teach you transfiguration, you know. I’m not as good as James at it, but still. If you need help-”

“Nope!” Sirius said, a bit too loudly. He noticed Remus’s flinch and added that to his mental list. “I don’t need your help! It’s alright!”

He hadn’t realized that’d come out a bit rudely until Remus made an awkward, apologetic face and said quietly, “I really could help. I know… um, I know I haven’t always been helpful, and, er. I’m trying to be… better?”

Sirius hadn’t meant to do that. He’d broken him, darn it! But there wasn’t really anything he could do about it besides start inching away towards a nearby table and say, “You’re super helpful, Lupin. I just want to do this myself.”

Remus took a deep breath and nodded resolutely. Merlin, he was taking this friendship thing seriously (HA, Siriusly). “Alright,” he said firmly, shooting another small closed smile at Sirius. “Have fun.”

“Studying?” Sirius scoffed, but Remus was already leaving.

Dang it. Remus losing all semblance of confidence hadn't been part of the plan.

But Remus was gone, and Sirius need to get studying. He sat at the nearest table and pulled out his Remus Notes- named that for lack of James’s creative input- and quickly scribbled mental notes down.

He never smiles with his teeth?

He HATES being touched. But he can touch us, he just usually doesn’t.

He flinches at loud noises.

Of course, there was an option that made sense- that Remus’s parents were like his. Maybe they called him back all the time because they wanted to make sure he was still behaving himself. Maybe they yelled a lot and that’s why he didn’t like loud noises!

Actually, Sirius remembered something else…

On the first day of term, he said his parents didn’t want him at school in the first place!

It made so much sense! Remus’s parents were just like his! Sirius actually got a sense of happiness at that, even though he shouldn’t. Sirius wasn’t the only one with bad parents anymore. Now he knew why Remus didn’t give him patronizing concerned looks like James when Sirius talked about his parents. Remus was in the exact same situation!

He was so excited with that revelation that he didn’t realize someone was sniffling loudly behind him until Madame Pince hissed, “SHHHHHHH!” Sirius turned around, wanting rather badly to hiss “SHHHHHHH” back, but then he saw the person who’d been sniffling.

Severus Snape was hidden behind a bulky library book that looked very uninteresting, looking like he was about to cry. No. No, he was crying.

‘Sissy’ was Sirius’s first thought. But then he remembered how he’d been crying pathetically to Remus after his time at that school. His next thought was ‘but I’m better than Snivillous’.

And he was, by leaps and bounds. But to be fair, Sirius was better than everyone but James, and Severus still was crying.

Then Sirius remembered his revelation about bad parents and decided he was going to take the high ground. Look at him, being mature!

He softly got up, trying not to alert Snape to his presence. Of course he did anyways, and Severus’s eyes snapped up to his form and hastily narrowed despite the tears leaking down them. “Piss off, Black!” he snapped, a clear tremble in his voice. “Pureblood traitor!”

“SHHHHH!” Madame Pomphrey hissed.

Sirius and Severus turned to her and hissed “SHHHHHH YOURSELF!” at the same time. That didn’t end well.

A few seconds later, they were being beat out of the library with the levitating bulky book that Snape had been reading. Sirius got hit sharply on the head for turning around and grabbing his Remus Notes on the way out.

Once they were safely out of the library and the door was slammed in their face, Sirius turned to either side to make sure no one was there before turning back to Snape, who was actively running away from him. Sirius huffed- because running was not in his plan for that day- and jogged to catch up with him. Snape wasn’t crying anymore, but there were still tear stains on his face. Sirius wondered what made him cry that hard.

“I just wanted to ask what’s wro-“ Sirius started, but Snape wheeled around mid-run and almost butted heads with him in anger.

Severus looked like an angry, tiny bull, right up to the greasy hair. (And Sirius was wearing Gryffindor red, so it actually worked.) “Shut UP!” Snape yelled at him, clenching his fists and glaring at him with pure hatred. “You don’t understand! Leave me alone, mudblood!”

Sirius bristled at the name (and he still didn’t know what it meant), but he figured Snape was just doing the same thing that Sirius always did to Remus when he was scared, and Remus always ignored it. So he pushed past it and started again, “What’s wrong?”

Severus was quiet for a moment, and Sirius thought he was about to answer.

Too late, he realized Snape’s eyes were narrowing in on Sirius’s clenched hand. He barely had time to blurt “Wait!” before Snape was lunging forward, roughly snatching the papers out of Sirius’s hand and leaving several sharp, stinging scratch marks in its place.

Tears stung at Sirius’s eyes- who knew Snape could scratch that hard?- and the next thing he knew Snape was reading the notes with growing humor in his tearful eyes. “Remus Notes?” Severus mocked. “What’re you, a dyke?”

Sirius didn’t know what that meant, but he’d heard the same thing told to him at That School and he didn’t much like it. “Give it back, Snivillous,” he said in a quiet voice, trying to summon the last of his waning patience.

Severus kept reading the notes, his mouth falling open in horror. “How creepy is your friend?” he whispered in mirth, and Sirius felt embarrassed. He hardly ever felt embarrassed.

He hated it.

“I said give it BACK!” Sirius yelled, and the next thing he knew he’d punched Severus in his stupid crooked nose.

Snivillous recovered quickly and clawed at Sirius’s arms with his free hand, leaving prickly scratches and burning at Sirius’s skin. Sirius pushed him off and focused on that piece of paper, twisting Snape’s arm to try and get it back.

And then Snape was on the ground and Sirius was punching him again, clawing his hand open with the same force Snape had used on him and snatching the notes out of his hand. “I HATE YOU!” Snape yelled, bloody nose and tears once again streaming down his face.

“I DON’T CARE!” Sirius screamed back, because he really didn’t. Snape had started it, so too bad if he hated Sirius for it. He had insulted Sirius, insulted Sirius’s friends, and Sirius was punching him again-

And then rough hands were once again clawing at him, but they were digging deeper into his sides from behind and making him actually start to cry as he was yanked off of Snivillous and tossed across the floor. He skidded into the library door and hazily looked up to see Bellatrix sneering down at him, Esteban at her heels like an angry puppy.

Bellatrix laughed. “Fighting in the corridors, are we?” she mocked, and Sirius clutched at his sides where he’d been cut. “I should crucio you right now! What would your mother say?”

Sirius ignored her and looked at the spot where Snape had been, but he was already gone. The git.

“Leave me alone,” Sirius snapped, getting to his feet and trying to hide his face as he stumbled away from them both.

Esteban looked at him with a laugh building in his throat. “Some Black you are!” he shouted, and Sirius ran away, dignity gone.

*

He hadn’t realized he was back in his dorm room until James was looking up from his Quidditch book (only thing he’d ever read), Remus and Peter nowhere to be seen. James saw him and a look of shock flew across his face before he was standing up from his desk and saying, “Mate, what’s wrong?” all nice and concerned.

And Sirius could ignore it, or brush past his tears and start talking about prank ideas or challenge him to a game of gobstones again. But screw it, James was his best friend. Sirius didn’t like lying to his best friend.

So he blurted everything between ragged breaths, from Durmstrang to the fight to Bellatrix and even to the Remus Notes clutched in his bleeding palm. James quietly guided him down to his bed and stared uncomfortably as Sirius ranted, seeming overwhelmed. Sirius didn’t really blame him.

When Sirius was done, James laughed nervously and said, “That’s a lot.”

Yep.

Sirius laughed back and it just turned into a weird strangled noise as his sides hurt from where he’d been clawed at. James crinkled his nose and added, “You should go to the hospital wing.”

Sirius started to protest, but then James swung his feet off the bed and stood up, offering a hand to Sirius. “Come on, I’ll walk you.”

Sirius reluctantly took his hand and stood up, letting James wrap an arm around his shoulders. “Thanks, mate,” he said shakily.

James helped him hobble towards the door, cuts stinging. “S’okay, Sirius,” he assured in that James Potter mother-hen-ish tone that Sirius always wanted to tease him about. “And you can always tell me about… things, you know?”

Sirius wrinkled his nose despite himself, because Merlin that was cheesy. “Okay.”

“And I have ideas about Remus,” James added, a hint of excitement worming into his tone. They brushed past the door. “I can’t believe I never thought about it before.”

“You were too busy hating him for no reason,” Sirius observed dryly.

“Shuddup. Anyways…”

And they talked about theories as they stumbled down the stairs. James kept one arm around Sirius’s shoulders until they got to Madame Pomphrey, and Sirius thought telling James hadn't been so awful after all.

James Potter

Oh, James had theories.

Sooooooooooo many theories.

He should’ve been thinking about it from the beginning, but he was too caught up in all the prank stuff. But now he was uncaught, and he wanted to know exactly where Remus was going every few weeks.

He and Sirius stayed in the hospital wing for a bit, talking about it. Two hours, to be precise, and James finally did settle on Remus having crap parents.

(He thought his theory was cooler, though. Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if Remus was Merlin reincarnated?!)

They talked until Madame Pomphrey made a face and told James to get out. James thought she didn’t like them talking about Remus. Weird. James made a mental note for later.

The next day was Monday, and they tried to ask Remus what was going on. That went about as well as James figured it would.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Remus had said firmly.

“But-“ Sirius started unhappily.

“No,” Remus snapped. He turned to Peter with a serene smile and added, “Pass the eggs, mate.”

And then he refused to talk about it for the rest of the day.

The next day Remus was gone, and so James and Sirius were desperate enough to loop Peter into their talks. That night Sirius and James pulled Peter aside in the common room, to the big armchair that was his favorite. Ah, bribery.

Peter sat down in the armchair with a goofy smile. “Are we playing a game?” he asked happily.

James sat on the couch next to him. Sirius sat next to James and stuck his feet in James’s lap, and James idly pushed them off. “Not a game,” he said, making Peter’s smile falter a bit. “It’s about Remus.”

“You know that time Remus got super mad at you and kicked you out?” Sirius asked, tactless as ever. James elbowed him discreetly and Sirius said “Oi!” not very discreetly.

Peter blinked a few times. “Yeah?” he stuttered.

James tried to play good cop, but he was once again interrupted with Sirius’s crisp, “Why’d he get so pressed?”

Peter was definitely freaking out now. “Is he mad again?” he asked, and his chest started heaving in a way that warned James he would soon stop breathing. “Did I say something?”

“No!” James said at the same time as Sirius said “Yes.”

Peter was about to fall out of the armchair, James was sure of it. James looked at Sirius and said out of the corner of his mouth, “Why would you say yes?!”

“I’m scaring the truth out of him!” Sirius said without moving his lips.

“What’s going on?” Peter hyperventilated.

James put a hand on Peter’s arm. “Remus isn’t mad,” he said, ignoring Sirius kicking his foot. “We’re just wondering where he disappears to every once and awhile.”

“I made a list of possibilities,” Sirius said proudly, “And we think he has crap parents. But we need you to confirm.”

“So,” James wheedled, looking imploringly at Peter’s overwhelmed chubby face, “What’d you do to make him mad?”

“Did you hug him or something?” Sirius pried.

“Make too loud of a noise?” James added.

“Comment on his disappearances?”

“Make fun of his smile?”

“He’d never make fun of anything, James, he isn’t capable-“

Peter yanked his arm away from James and blurted, “A letter! I read one of his letters when he wasn't looking!”

Sirius and James paused to stare at each other. Finally Sirius nodded and begrudgingly said “I take it back. He’s a little rat.”

“Sirius!” James scolded, but Peter was already wringing his hands. “I didn’t mean to!” Peter wailed, drawing much attention from the fourth-years in the corner doing their homework. “I was trying to find his transfiguration notes and I found a letter from his parents-“

“What’d it say?” Sirius asked, sitting up eagerly.

Peter put his face in his hands and groaned, “Itsaidhesnotallowedtobefriendswithanyone-“

“Slowwwwwwww down,” James enunciated, leaning on the arm of the couch.

“It said,” Peter said, taking a deep breath, “That Remus shouldn’t make friends with anyone. That if people knew what his… secret was, they wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore.”

“Blimey,” Sirius said, making James’s mum’s voice scold language in his head. “That’s awful. I KNEW IT!”

“Don’t sound so sad,” James mumbled, a smile breaking across his face. He put a hand on Peter’s back and patted it a few times. “Pete, it’s fine! This just proves it!”

“I thought he didn’t want friends because he gets all sick,” Sirius was marveling. “But he doesn’t want friends because his dad’s threatening him!”

“His ‘secret’ is that his parents SUCK!” James added, beaming in spite of himself.

“This is AWESOME!” Sirius said unabashedly.

Peter shakily pulled his face out of his hands and said, “I feel like I just told something personal-“

“You did,” Sirius said, and Peter dropped his face back in his hands. “But it’s fine. We can help. I have crap parents too.”

“And I know what it’s like to be sick,” James added pointlessly, since he had no idea what it was like to have crap parents except when his mum wouldn’t let him get the Nimbus 700. “We’re helping, Pete. It’s alright.”

Peter pulled his head out of his hands a second time and Sirius didn’t force him back in that time. He smiled a bit at James and asked, “Are we gonna tell him we know?”

James shrugged. He was fairly sure Remus wouldn’t be too happy they were taking notes on his life, but at the same time he was pretty proud of their group discovery. “Eventually,” he said, because that’s what his parents always said when they had no idea when they’d get James a toy he wanted. “We’ll do it eventually.”

*

Two realizations hit James at breakfast the next day.

One: they’d forgotten about Remus being super pale and not usually going outside. Bad parents couldn’t really account for that. Maybe it was just him getting sick a lot?

Two: James had forgotten to do his DADA homework. This one was the most pressing.

Professor Elkins had specifically told him he would fail her class if he didn’t do this assignment (she’d told him in a ten-minute analogy rant that had made him late for Slughorn’s class). Apparently, James ‘didn’t participate in class’ and ‘goofed around’ and ‘never turned in any homework’. This assignment on the dangers of pixies- they’d spent quite a while on pixies; the whole year to be exact- was his redo.

And James had completely forgotten about it, for two weeks.

“Sirius,” James hissed desperately while Sirius was cramming an egg and bacon sandwich down his throat. “I need your homework.”

Sirius almost choked on his sandwich laughing, and Peter hurriedly patted him on the back. Once he’d recovered, he poked James with a certain finger and wheezed, “Crowley, James! Are you trying to kill me?!”

“I just need the homework!” James said shrilly.

“You know I don’t do homework!” Sirius said incredulously.

James turned uncertainly to Peter. “Pete, did you do your DADA homework?”

Peter was absentmindedly patting Sirius’s back even though the latter wasn’t coughing, and Sirius swatted his hand away. “Yeah,” Peter said cautiously.

James raised an eyebrow. “Did you do it well?”

Peter slowly shook his head, and that was that.

What else was he supposed to do? There wasn’t time to do it now; James barely knew what the assignment was. And he wasn’t about to fail a class he was good at because he ‘never turned in any homework’.

Who else could he ask?

James looked across the table and spotted Lily Evans, prim as ever and perched across two tables, talking to Mary and Marlene with a gleam in her green eyes.

Ugh.

James pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote Truce. I need the answers for the DADA homework. -James. Sirius looked over his shoulder and said, “Mate, you must be getting desperate.”

James stood up to head to Lily’s table and snapped, “You have no idea.”

*

James arrived to Professor Elkin’s class with no homework and no response from Lily. He was praying that Lily was going to give in and get him the homework soon, even though she had no reason to. James had gone on a truce for this; she had to have some humanity, right?

Thankfully, Elkins was halfway into a story about the sour tea she’d had that morning and had forgotten to ask for the homework yet. James scanned the room for Lily and found her sniggering next to Marlene as Marlene pulled out…

Was that a flash of red-

Oh no.

Lily stood up primly and held the steaming red envelope with one hand, the envelope half-open already as she strode over to James and Sirius. James nudged Sirius and whispered some words he shouldn’t repeat. Sirius saw the letter and whispered some words he also shouldn’t repeat.

Lily got to his desk right when professor Elkins said, “Right, now I almost forgot about that homework-“ and dropped the letter right into James’s hands. She shot him a winning smile and turned to head back to her seat.

There wasn’t enough time for even that. James watched in horror as the letter started to actually smoke, and suddenly belted out,

DEAR JAMES POTTER!

The whole class looked up.

I APPRECIATE THE TRUCE, BUT I HAVE NO INTENTION OF GIVING YOU THE HOMEWORK FOR PROFESSOR ELKIN’S CLASS. SORRY, BUT ACTUALLY NOT VERY SORRY CONSIDERING YOU TRIED TO DYE MY OWL PINK.

XOXO, LILY.

James didn’t even have a reaction to that. But he supposed they were even now, judging by the smirk on Lily’s face as she plucked the letter from James’s clenched hands and said, “I need to reuse the envelope, thanks.”

“I hate you,” James whispered.

“I know,” she whispered back, patting his head once with the ashy red envelope and walking away.

Once again, she didn’t get very far before professor Elkins’s voice rang out, “Class, that is an example of bad behavior. Why, I had a fellow in my fifth year who- well, I’m off topic. Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter- detention for one week.”

James’s jaw dropped open, and Lily swayed dangerously on her feet like she’d faint. One whole week?!

Professor Elkins hummed serenely and added, “Probably should deduct twenty points each from Gryffindor. Just to be sure.”

Remus Lupin

“And then she gave us detention!” Lily complained, red hair flying as she made obscene hand gestures behind the library book she was holding. Remus and Marlene watched in amusement as Lily ranted, and Marlene mouthed is she okay? Remus shook his head.

It was nice to be friends with girls as well as boys. Being friends with James and Peter and Sirius was wonderful, but it was… exhausting, in a way.

“And the first two detentions have gone horribly, of course,” Lily said exaggeratedly, making Marlene roll her eyes. “James won’t shut up about how I shouldn’t have sent that Howler.”

“To be fair, that was pretty ruthless,” Remus admitted.

Lily sniffed in disdain, and Marlene whispered to Remus, “First rule of being Evans’s friend- she’s always right.”

“Always,” Lily confirmed, and Marlene jumped in surprise.

When Remus returned to the dorm room, he was a bit nervous. James and Sirius had been questioning him nonstop before he left, and Remus was worried they were close to finding out the truth. Remus loved Hogwarts, even with all the work it was, and he didn’t want to lose it so soon.

But Sirius and James and Peter tackled him the moment he walked in the door, so Remus figured everything was normal. (For now.)

“Okay, okay!” Remus called, his voice muffled as he pushed around three overly-energetic boys to his bed. “I got it! It’s late.”

Sirius groaned and flopped onto his own bed. “But we don’t want to sleep!”

“We want to do something fun,” James said stubbornly. “Like a prank.”

“We could use the cloak and explore,” Peter suggested timidly.

James gestured wildly to Peter, and Peter blushed. “Exactly! Let’s go, lads!”

Sirius and Peter jumped up, and Remus figured he really had no other choice. He stood up and smirked as the three cheered.

Exploring was fun. Remus forgot how fun it was to subtly use his werewolf senses to guide them in the right directions, and to run away from Ms. Norris before she caught them. Remus didn’t want to have to get close to Ms. Norris like he had back in September. Remus hated animals; the problem was that animals liked him. He’d never wanted a pet because they could always smell the werewolf on him. Plants weren’t like that. Plants liked him for the right reasons- being, he kept them alive.

(He kept getting updates about Dalton from his parents. Apparently it had torn through one of their good curtains, and they had to play the song Here Comes The Sun three times a day or it tried to escape out the window.)

They explored until three in the morning, and when they’d finally snuck back they had acquired a good handful of things from the kitchens. Sirius and James had a fight with the baguettes while Remus and Peter ate and talked about Dalton the plant and Richard the owl possibly being related. Remus went to sleep feeling better than he had in awhile.

*

Remus woke up feeling worse than he had in awhile.

His head was pounding like a grenade about to go off (Remus hoped it wouldn’t go off; that would be messy). His eyes hurt just from the effort of opening them, and his throat felt like Ms. Norris had raked her claws down it. And punched him in the stomach while he was at it.

He hadn’t felt like this since the full moon, when he was transforming. For a second he thought he was transforming, and the adrenaline was enough to make him sit up in bed and make a strangled noise he supposed was a scream in progress.

He heard bedcovers shifting, and James and Sirius and Peter slowly woke up. The sounds pounded against his ears, and he slowly brought his hands up to them to check that they weren’t werewolf ears. Okay. He wasn’t transforming.

Dully, Remus realized what had happened. He’d stayed up too late, and now he was paying the price. He knew he should’ve slept while the other three went to explore. But it had been fun, though…

“Remus?” James’s groggy voice asked, and it pierced through Remus’s skull with a vigor that made him whimper. “Remus? You alright?”

“No one’s alright,” Sirius groaned, and that hurt Remus’s ears. There was a sound like Sirius had catapulted himself off the bed, and another groan. “We barely got any sleep. Let’s be honest, James. There’s no way we’re going to make it to class.”

Panic coursed through Remus’s veins, because CLASS! He had to make it to class! He’d been missing for three days while Madame Pomphrey patched him up, and he couldn’t go missing for more. What would everyone think of him? They’d probably start rumors and then one would find out and then-

“Remus?” Peter whispered, and the curtains were pulled back and Remus hissed in spite of himself. Peter’s blurry face stared back at him- blurry? It wasn’t supposed to be blurry. “Remus, what’s wrong?”

Remus forced the covers off of him and WOW it was cold. He started shivering, air hitting his arms like icicles. “M’fine,” he managed to mumble out, scooting his legs off the bed and pushing Peter out of the way to stand up. His knees buckled almost immediately and Peter caught him, barely. “Just gotta get to class.”

“We’re not going to class!” Sirius said incredulously. “Remus, just skive for once! We got maybe two hours of sleep. How’re we supposed to survive?”

“Sheer willpower,” Remus groaned to himself, and his head pulsed in agreement. He struggled to leave Peter’s grasp, then realized that his arms had decided to not work and he was just uselessly flopping.

Peter guided him back to his bed despite Remus’s delirious protests and pushed him down. “You definitely shouldn’t go to class,” Peter noted, feeling Remus’s forehead. Peter’s hand was cold, and Remus barely had time to shiver before Peter recoiled and called, “James! He’s super sick!”

James’s footsteps bounded over, waaaaayyyy too loud. Remus whimpered again and burrowed traitorously under his covers, trying to will his head and stomach to stop pounding insistingly. James knelt beside the bed and scrutinized Remus’s face, and Remus saw his eyebrows get higher and higher on his forehead. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

“Uh oh,” James said helpfully. “You need to go to the hospital wing-“

“No!” Remus whisper-shouted, and his throat hurt so bad that tears stung in his eyes. “I’m fine!”

Sirius was on his other side, so there was a whole huddle around his bed like he was about to die. Remus wondered blurrily if he was going to die- he always transformed before he could die on full moons, but what about now? “You look awful,” Sirius observed, and he awkwardly reached over and patted Remus’s head. “Sorry, mate.”

Peter turned to James and whispered, “What’re we supposed to-“

“I want to write my parents,” Remus interrupted deliriously. “Please.”

“Weird request, but alright,” Sirius said, and Remus could’ve sworn he heard a hint of judgment in Sirius’s tone. He chalked it up to hallucination.

Peter put a piece of paper and a quill on his lap, and Remus shivered because he could feel the weight through the covers. “Thanks,” he said blurrily, and started to write.

“You’re missing the paper,” James observed, and his warm hand wrapped around Remus’s clammy one to try and grab the quill from him. “Remus. You need to go to the hospital wing.”

Remus shook his head, and his headache rattled in his skull. “I don’t want to,” he said stubbornly.

James sighed and turned to Peter. “Go fetch Pomphrey and tell her Remus is ill-“

“No!” Remus interrupted, and hot tears started spilling down his face before he could stop them.

He heard Sirius’s audible curse. James groaned and carefully grabbed the quill and paper from Remus. “We’ll write your parents when you’re better,” he said, much more mature than an eleven-year-old normally would be. “Pete. Go.”

“Okay,” Peter said nervously. “What am I doing again?”

“Merlin,” James cursed, and then he was gone. Peter and Sirius knelt on either side of Remus and Remus felt humiliated.

“I heard Dalton’s doing good, right?” Peter said nervously. “He only ate what, three pieces of furniture?”

Remus’s throat hurt too much to respond. Sirius said in a low voice, “Are you scared of your parents being mad? That you’re missing lessons, I mean.”

That sentence made no sense to Remus, but he managed to shake his head and let out a dry sob.

“That’s not good,” Peter said nervously. “Um… plants. Let’s see.” And then he started prattling off random knowledge that Remus had told him about plants.

Sirius muttered a quick, “I’ll be back,” and rustled around Remus’s bedside table. Remus wanted to tell him to stop but his head hurt too much to form sentences so he just sat there miserably, forcing himself to listen to Peter’s narration on wizard flowers.

James came back with a cup of some sort and said breathlessly, “Madame Pomphrey said you’re excused from classes, and drink this.” He sounded rather proud of himself for remembering all of it.

“Perfect!” Sirius said smugly, and then a warm mug was being pressed into Remus’s shaking hands. “I made that nasty tea you love; you can drink that after! Or you could mix them, or- oh, you’re really crying.”

And Remus started sobbing, really sobbing, hysterical sick sobbing that shook his whole frame and made his nose stuff up and his stomach tighten. Peter yelped and asked shrilly, “Was it the plants? I knew no one likes hearing about plants for that long!“

“It was probably the stupid potion,” Sirius said, grabbing the mug out of Remus’s hands before he spilled it in hysteria.

“Which he still has to drink,” James added quickly, clambering up to Remus's right side.

Remus was hurting so deliriously he snatched the potion and downed it all. He immediately knew which one it was- the perks of being stuck in the infirmary each month- and it burned his stomach on the way down. He kept sobbing and James wrapped an arm around his shoulders, whispering “I don’t know what to do” to Sirius.

That was reassuring.

There was a weight at Remus’s other side, and Sirius’s cool hand patted Remus’s hair awkwardly. “Merlin, you’re burning up,” Sirius started, but James hurriedly shushed him and murmured, “You’re fine, Remus.”

Peter perched in front of Remus and asked nervously, “D’you want the tea, or… no, you’re crying too much for that.”

“Wait to be honest, Pettigrew,” Sirius hissed, hand ruffling and unruffling Remus’s hair for lack of things to do.

“It’s okay, Remus,” James said reassuringly, as Remus deliriously dropped his forehead on James’s shoulder and took in deep, painful breaths. “S’okay. Everyone loses it sometimes.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever lost it this bad,” Sirius muttered to himself.

Peter squeaked, “Remus should probably go to sleep.”

“Duh,” Sirius snapped.

“Shuddup,” James hissed. “He’s closing his eyes, let him sleep-“

Remus fell asleep, his three friends huddled around him and the sleeping potion doing its job.

He felt a little better, finally.

Chapter Text

Sirius Black

The day after Remus’s little breakdown, Remus was dead set on ignoring the lot of them.

“I want to go home,” was the first thing he said after waking up that morning.

“I want to go home,” was the second thing he said after Peter coaxed him into staying for breakfast.

“I want to go home,” was the third thing he said after James tried to cheer him up by singing a crap song in DADA class.

“I want to go-“

“Alright, alright!” Sirius finally groaned at lunch, pushing his chair back and abandoning his eggs. “I’ll get you home if you shut up.”

He led a pale, shaking Remus out of the Great Hall and they made an attempt to find Dumbledore’s office. Sirius had absolutely no idea where he was going, and he walked into five different classrooms that had five different assortments of teachers on their lunchbreaks (he had to talk with professor Elkins for ten minutes before she would let them leave).

Remus hadn’t spoken a word since they’d started, and Sirius couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. If he heard one more ‘I want to go home’, he’d punt Remus there the hard way.

Finally, Sirius got tired of Remus’s moping and asked, “You really want to go back with your parents?”

Remus visibly bristled, pulling his baggy sweater closer to him. “I like my parents,” he defended.

Maybe that was just a tactic to convince Sirius his parents weren’t crap. Sirius peered inside another door (it was a bathroom; he was very thankful it wasn’t a girl’s one) and said cautiously, “So… your parents are nice, then.”

“Of course they’re nice,” Remus snapped, and he pulled Sirius away from a doorway before he could look in. “That’s a girl’s bathroom,” he muttered before adding “And I’m sick of you talking about them like they’re evil. Why would I want to go home if I hated them?”

That was a good question. Sirius sighed and made a mental note to put that on his Remus Notes- genuinely likes his parents. DARN. “Okay,” he gave in, and they walked another few feet in silence.

Remus groaned suddenly, making Sirius jump and almost crash into a portrait of a unicorn fighting a horse. “This school is rubbish!” he said angrily, stomping his foot on the floor. Remus Lupin was usually mature. Being sick must’ve taken a toll on him.

“What’re you talking about, it’s rubbish?” Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice light so Remus didn’t have another Epic Breakdown. “And why do you want to go home all of the sudden, anyways?”

“The school’s rubbish because there’s no way out!” Remus snapped, running a hand through his hair and unearthing a small jagged scar on his forehead. “And why do you think I want to leave, Sirius? I had a meltdown in front of everyone.”

“Three people,” Sirius corrected, watching Remus quite literally try and tear his hair out. He shifted awkwardly. “Remus, your fever was like, a thirty-nine. Of course you had a meltdown. You were practically melting.”

“But,” Remus said stubbornly, glaring at the floor with bloodshot eyes. “But, it was still embarrassing-“

“So what?” Sirius interrupted loudly, because he was dead tired of Remus whining about being immature. “Let’s review. You broke down crying because you had a fever. Literally no one cares. And now you want to go home because you’re embarrassed. Everyone gets embarrassed! Even me, sometimes, kind of, hardly ever! So would you piss off about going home already and at least make it ‘till the end of March?"

Remus stared at him, all scrawny with huge bags under his eyes and a runny, bright red nose. He sniffled a few times and whispered, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Sirius repeated, feeling proud of himself. “Let’s go back and eat something. You look like you’re gonna faint. And we know how that ends already.”

Remus laughed a watery laugh at that and they turned around to go explore their way back to the Great Hall.

*

On the first day of March, James realized that they hadn’t seen a Quidditch game yet.

It was the angriest Sirius had ever seen him.

“What’re we doing, lads?!” James shouted, throwing his hands up in the air and slamming them on his bed, making a pillow slide off and skid next to Sirius’s bed. (Yay, free pillow.) “This is part of the Hogwarts EXPERIENCE! We can’t just not go to Quidditch games! We need to see this next one! It’s Slytherin v. Hufflepuff-“

“But that has nothing to do with us?” Peter wondered. “We’re not Slytherin or Hufflepuff.”

“Astute observation, Pete,” Sirius snorted.

“Shhhhh,” James said, and Sirius kicked him in the leg. James just grunted and moved on. “If Hufflepuff wins, Gryffindor has a chance at winning their match with Ravenclaw.”

Peter looked like magic-carpet science was being explained to him. Or basic transfiguration, considering it was Peter. Sirius snickered to himself.

Remus didn’t want to go, and Sirius was fairly sure James’s eye was twitching.

“Come ON!” James groaned, doing a barrel roll off his bed and landing haphazardly on the floor. Sirius grabbed the pillow on the floor and chucked it at him, because that was the way their friendship worked. “Are you scared that they’ll lose?”

“No,” Remus said in clear offence. He was sitting primly at his desk, doing his homework (Sirius hadn’t even known they’d gotten homework, which showed how their friendship worked). “I’m still recovering from my… whatever I had, and I need time.”

“You have time!” James countered, sitting up from his gymnastics. “You have three days of time! Pleaseeeee?”

“Just go without me!” Remus exclaimed back. Sirius hadn't known it was possible for one to argue and write an essay at the same time, but Remus managed pretty well. “Sirius and Peter’ll go!”

“Yeah!” Peter said helpfully, from where he had completely abandoned his essay. “It’ll be fun!”

“And that’s why Remus should go!” James said indignantly.

Sirius just wanted to go to a Quidditch game, honestly. He couldn’t care less who went with him- although he’d prefer James. But James seemed dead-set on all of them or none of them, so Sirius begrudgingly pleaded, “Just go, Remus. James’s got his mind set on this.”

“James’s mind,” Remus said patiently, “Is set on at least five hundred things at once. He’ll move on.”

“No I won’t,” James said (even though Sirius knew he would the moment he got a prank idea). “REMUS! PLEASE?”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Remus groaned, tossing his quill into the inkwell and making ink splatter across his desk. He scraped his chair back and wheeled around to glare at James’s stubborn face. “I would literally rather you TEACH me Quidditch than drag me to a stupid game! They’re pointless and I’m not going!”

And James’s face lit up. He looked at Sirius, and Sirius grinned.

“Teaching you Quidditch it is, then,” Sirius said cheerfully.

Remus looked at Peter and mouthed save me, but Peter was smiling too.

*

Friday came with a challenge: they only had James’s broom and only James had Quidditch knowledge that hadn’t been taught by Madame Hooch back in September. James, Peter, and Remus went to Madame Hooch to borrow some brooms (apparently Sirius was ‘impolite’ and ‘offensive’ and therefore 'forbidden from diplomatic missions') and came back with one battered broom. To make a total of two.

Sirius thought his impolite offensiveness would’ve gotten them more, but whatever.

“Who wants to go first?” James said, having Jamesishly claimed the first broom for himself. They were in the field about ten meters away from the Quidditch stands, and they could hear the crowd from there. Remus looked like he was not enjoying himself.

Peter hopefully started “Me-“

“Trick question!” James announced, and Peter’s chubby face fell. “Remus has to go because he suggested this!”

Remus crossed his arms and shivered (he was in at least two jumpers and a yellow sweater; Sirius might never understand him). “I won’t unless you give your turn to Peter.”

James rolled his eyes and pushed his glasses up, tossing the broom to Peter. “Fine, fine! I am nothing if not generous!”

Sirius snickered. “I am nothing if not serious.”

“You lot are nothing if not idiots,” Remus announced, grabbing the spare broom and looking at it in clear confusion.

“I’m nothing if not Peter,” Peter said happily.

“Right, so Quidditch!” James exclaimed before Sirius could hit Peter upside the head. “The first thing you need to know about Quidditch is that it’s a dynamic sport. You need to be good at balancing in order to stay in the air, and you need to stay in the air in order to hit the bludger or grab the snitch or throw the quaffle, and you need to hit the bludger or grab the sni-“

“Condensed version, please,” Remus announced grumpily, holding the broom at arm’s length. “I’m getting splinters just looking at this.”

Sirius snickered “Princess” for no reason other than to receive Remus’s free hand putting up a finger.

James was clearly aggravated that his method of teaching wasn’t working. “Fine,” he huffed. “Tell the broom to go up, then get on it, then pull up to fly and down to dive. Simple.”

Sirius had never seen two nonmagically-raised people attempt to fly a broom before, but it was the most entertaining thing and he highly recommended it to anyone who needed a pickmeup. He sat under the shade of a maple tree and laughed very judgmentally as James shouted orders at Remus, who was awkwardly perched on his broom, and Peter, whose broom was twenty feet in the air and would not get down. Eventually they coaxed it down (not Sirius, he was laughing too hard) and Peter and Remus were anxiously examining the open field.

James assured, “There’s nothing you can hurt here!”

“Except us!” Sirius called out. “Y’know, the people! We’re very breakable.”

Peter gulped. Remus grinned and said “I’ll be sure to aim for you-“

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before his broom decided there’d been enough dialogue and shot him up in the air, barreling down the field. James looked up to him and yelled “Good! That’s good if it was on purpose… no, it wasn’t on purpose. Bad! Get it back down!”

“Does it look like I’m not trying?!” Remus shouted, broom doing a loop in midair. Sirius laughed and felt at peace with the world.

James waved his hands at the flying broom and screamed “DOWN, BOY! DOWN!”

Sirius thought he was going to bust an organ laughing. “That’s really helpful!” he wheezed at James. “Keep doing what you’re doing!”

“Screw you!” Remus yelled, his voice rattling in the air. “When I get back down I’m going to OH SHIT!”

Sirius was on his feet before he even knew what happened, because Remus had said a bad word. Remus NEVER said bad words!!!

He squinted up and saw that Remus’s broom had thrown him towards the quidditch pitch, where the audience was obliviously cheering. James shrieked a very girlish shriek and ran pointlessly down the field, Sirius right at his heels, but it was too late. They watched in awe as Remus and the broom shot into the shocked Quidditch pitch, gave a poor kid on his broom whiplash, and gracefully flew through the largest score hoop. The Quidditch commenter screamed into the mic as half of the stadium clapped confusedly, and Remus cussed like a whirlwind while he shot back into the field and landed in a heap next to James. Sirius forced himself not to laugh that time.

James dropped down next to him and yanked the broom out of his hands before it could do any more damage. He asked hesitantly, “Remus… you okay-“

Remus pushed his face out of the dirt and said calmly, “You are never making me play Quidditch again.”

James paled. “That’s fair.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss," Sirius said, reaching a hand down to Remus. “What was the occasion?”

Remus looked at his hand for a second and lunged at Sirius, pulling him into a tackle and groaning, “I’m gonna kill you!” Sirius cackled and slapped Remus’s hands away from tickling his sides. James tried to pull them off each other and just ended up getting pulled into the fray.

They stayed there for a minute, giggling and slapping each other stupidly and gasping obscenities, until they heard Madame Hooch’s voice shout “I demand an explanation!”

Uh oh, Sirius thought. He didn’t know if his form of diplomacy was going to help on this one.

They paused mid-fight, staring up at the angry form of Madame Hooch. “Soooo,” James said, after Remus elbowed him sharply in the side. “There’s a really good explanation, I swear…”

Remus raised his eyebrows at Sirius and exclaimed, “Peter’s been awfully quiet. Pete? Where are you?!”

And then there was a crash, and Sirius wheeled to the right to see Peter’s limbs waving wildly from inside the maple tree they’d been under before, muffled cries of “I’m in here! I’m in the tree!” emanating from the branches.

Madame Hooch looked ready to blow a fuse. She looked at them and said “I hope you’re sorry,” but they were too busy laughing to respond.

James Potter

And that was how first-years were officially banned from playing Quidditch.

James didn’t know why it had been such a big deal. It wasn’t like they were really playing Quidditch- whatever chaotic dance Remus and Peter had done couldn’t be considered playing. But James was fine with it. After all, he was trying out in second year, not first.

He wasn’t fine with the subject of Remus, however. More specifically, Remus’s breakdown.

James just didn’t understand it. Him and Sirius (they’d tried to talk to Peter but he thought it was rude to ‘gossip’) had talked for ages about what could be going on that made Remus that upset. Sure, he’d had a fever. But James couldn’t recall ever breaking down in hyperventilating sobs because he had some flu. And if Remus got sick more often like he said, shouldn’t he have been used to it?

It just didn’t make sense, and James hated things that didn’t make sense. His mum used to get annoyed that he would never finish assembling puzzles, and that was because he’d always get distracted and move on to something that made sense for him.

But this was a puzzle he wasn’t going to give up on, because it wasn’t really a puzzle. It was a person. It was James’s friend!

So he’d decided to go digging for answers.

He and Sirius had decided to start with McGonagall, because Remus rather liked that class. He had a tendency to stay after, talking with her about whatever boring things. James and Sirius stayed after class on Friday, and Remus reluctantly left. Just more proof that he was talking about secrety stuff.

Professor McGonagall’s thin eyebrows flew up to her greying bun as she saw them approach. “Both of you?” she asked, using her wand to sweep up the pile of hay that she’d had them transfigure into yarn. “And there’s no detention? And you’re not being threatened?”

“It’s a miracle, innit?” Sirius reveled brightly, plopping down in McGonagall’s chair while she wasn’t looking.

James stifled laughter and quickly diverted her attention to him so Sirius wouldn’t get caught. “We wanted to ask about Remus,” he announced before she could see Sirius perching on her throne. “We wanted to know what he’s talking to you about, every day after school.”

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips, and she quirked an eyebrow at James. “Then I guess I want to tell you that that’s private.”

Sirius made a face behind her back, and James fought back a smile. “But miss!” he said, and he could’ve sworn another grey hair spawned in her bun. “We just want to help him! We’re worried something’s going on-“

“Mr. Lupin,” she said austerely, “Is very stressed with homework as of late. I presume that it is because of you three distracting him?”

“That’s not a very nice thing to presume,” James noted.

“But is it true?”

“Yes,” Sirius muttered, and James groaned as McGonagall wheeled around and caught him sprawled out on her chair.

“Out,” she ordered, pointing to the exit with her wand.

“But!” James said quickly, before she could magic the hay in their faces. “Are you sure there’s no secret about Remus you know? Because I know there is one, and we’re gonna find o-“

“Fine!” McGonagall burst out, sounding quite agitated now. James blamed Sirius. “If you must know, tomorrow is his birthday. The tenth. He’ll be twelve.”

Sirius gasped so loudly James thought he’d have a stroke. “AND HE NEVER TOLD US!”

McGonagall looked at him as though he were a moldy piece of wheat bread. “I wonder why,” she said dryly. “That is all. Goodbye.”

James thought he’d be disheartened that they hadn’t learned any new information about Remus. But instead he was just excited. They had a birthday to plan!

*

The hardest part was getting Peter to keep the secret. Merlin, that guy was awful at withholding information. He hadn’t stopped making pointed birthday jokes to Remus until Sirius had threatened to 'wingardium leviosa' him out the window (which earned him a detention from Flitwick but was ultimately worth it).

James quickly learned that he honestly didn’t know much about Remus Lupin. He knew Remus liked reading, and homework, and most classes. He was decent in transfiguration, great in charms, stunningly good in herbology. He had a plant named Dalton that liked eating furniture, but James wasn’t about to get him another one of those.

All in all, Remus liked most of the things that happened in a regular school day. What kind of birthday party would that be?!

Sirius was stumped as well. “He likes tea,” he’d said helplessly to James on the morning before Remus’s birthday.

“We are not making him a tea flavored cake,” James had said, adamantly shaking his head. “I’m not stooping that low.”

But he did have to stoop low, possibly even lower than tea cake. For the afternoon of March ninth found him in the owlery, begrudgingly talking to-

“I’m not talking to you,” Lily said. She was huddled beside her owl, trying to make August leave Richard’s side (it wasn’t going too good, judging by the agitated hooting sounds coming from both parties).

James decided he was done being apologetic and flopped down next to her, absentmindedly patting Richard on the head before Richard could peck his finger off. “Come on,” he pleaded. “We’re even, after that stupid letter you gave me in DADA-“

“Which gave us both detention,” Lily muttered angrily, poking at August’s feathers to try and move her. “So not even.”

“UGH!” James said- sometimes a good ugh was needed to articulate his feelings. “I just want to know about Remus, alright?”

Lily paused. Go figure; Remus was the only thing that would make her talk to him. As if their friendship triangle wasn’t weird enough. “What about Remus? Because if you’re asking why he keeps disappearing, I’ve been trying to figure that out myself-“

“That’s none of your business,” James interrupted, because it wasn’t, that was James and Sirius's business. “I want to know things that he likes. Y’know, for gift ideas.”

“Gift ideas?” Lily asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow. August hooted in agreement. “What is it, his birthday or something?”

Now James was confused. Because if Remus didn’t tell anyone… did he really not want a birthday party?

“It’s tomorrow,” he said anyways. “And I need a list of things he likes. Sirius and Pete haven’t been any help.”

Lily muttered a ‘go figure’ under her breath. “So you’re not going to get him a book?”

James rolled his eyes. “Books are boring.”

“Right,” Lily said, and James could hear her eye roll even as she turned to coax August away from Richard. “But does Remus think books are boring?”

“No…”

“Uh huh.” August finally detached herself from Richard and Lily triumphantly cradled her, turning around to face James with a smirk on her face. “You really are an idiot, James,” she observed.

James didn’t bother defending himself. “That’s what they tell me,” he said dryly. “So about those gift ideas…”

Lily stood up at that, bringing August over to the letter-delivery window. “He likes chocolate, I suppose-“

And that was IT! YES, James was a genius! Chocolate cake! Remus LOVED cake, and he LOVED chocolate! Remus would be so happy that he got chocolate cake that he wouldn’t get mad that all his friends magically knew his birthday!

“Thanks!” he said hurriedly, and he was out of the owlery before Lily had a chance to insult him.

*

The chocolate cake mission was not going as planned.

“Do you put the outside of the egg in the bowl?” Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs for the third time. James had been ignoring him the past two, hoping the situation would resolve itself.

“Probably!” James yelled back. “My mum always says not to waste ingredients!”

“Guys!” Peter shrieked from his desk (which they had made into a makeshift kitchen for the time being). “How do you heat an oven?!”

“Just light it on fire!”

“We tried that in potions, Sirius, remember?”

“Yeah, and it turned out great-“

“Sirius,” James interrupted lowly, staring at Sirius’s bowl of death. “I think putting the outside of the egg in was a bad idea.”

Sirius groaned and slammed the bowl on the floor.

“Don’t throw it!” Peter shrieked, hurling himself onto the desk/cauldron/oven as ceramic shattered everywhere.

“We can still salvage this,” James said confidently, feeling not very confident. “Cake is made of flour, my mum told me. So if we just take the flour we stole from the kitchens-“

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to get the whole cake from the kitchens?” Peter wailed, drawing his knees to his chest as the desk creaked under his weight.

James glared at him. “We were trying to make it homemade but yes, it would’ve been easier-“

“I’ve got the flour!” Sirius announced, dragging the heavy bag by the corner. James’s mum might not’ve taught him much about cooking, but she did teach him not to carry anything by its breaking point.

“SIRIUS!” James yelled just as the flour exploded onto the floor and windows and desk and beds and them and… everything.

When the powder cleared, James found the room covered in white like it had snowed in their dorm (that was a good prank idea, for another time maybe). Sirius was frozen in shock, staring at the broken bag in betrayal, and Peter was whimpering under his breath as he rocked back and forth slowly.

Baking was a NIGHTMARE.

There was a faint outline in the doorway, and James managed to say, “Surprise?” before Remus took a step in and stopped to survey the disaster they’d created. He seemed rather ill looking at the formerly-clean dorm room, and his mouth was a tight line when he muttered, “Why me? Just- why-“

“We wanted to make a cake,” Sirius blurted out, hacking a few times as flour coated his lungs.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “I’d say I can see that, but I can’t see much of anything in here,” he remarked. “Why on earth did you want to make a cake?”

“Because today’s your birthday!” Peter squeaked. James thought this was going swimmingly.

Remus turned rather pale. “How’d you know it’s my birthday?”

“McGonagall told us!” Peter confessed at the same time as Sirius said accusedly, “Better question is why didn’t you tell us?”

James noticed that Remus looked about to fall over, and he hoped there wouldn’t be a repeat of February’s breakdown. James put his flour-coated hands up placatingly and said, “We just wanted to do something fun. We like celebrating birthdays, and we went…”

“Overboard?” Remus guessed.

“I refuse to concede to that,” James said stubbornly. “Point is… happy birthday and please don’t be mad.”

For a moment there was silence. Sirius looked at James and mouthed, February breakdown part two?. Peter’s eyes darted between all of them and he whispered, “The suspense is killing me.”

Finally Remus sighed- one of his famous Remus-sighs- and pulled out his wand. “I’m not mad,” he assured when Peter jumped about a foot. “But the dorm is a mess, and we need to clean it.”

James was still wrapping his head around the ‘I’m not mad’ part. Remus had a tendency to freak out and refuse to speak to them over basically anything.

Remus showed no such qualms. “And maybe I’ll show you how to properly make cake,” he added. “Without burning Hogwarts to the ground.”

Sirius got a mischievous grin on his face that automatically made on appear on James’s, too. “Orrrrr,” he drawled, “Maybe you could stop cleaning and we could have a flour fight.”

Peter stuttered, “I don’t think Remus wants t-“

And then he was hit with a ball of flour by one smirking Remus. James immediately dropped down to collect ammunition, shielding himself with one hand from the attacks.

“I knew there was a reason we’re friends!” Sirius said gleefully, shoving a shovelful of flour into Remus’s hair.

Remus coughed and flicked flour back. “Is there one? I keep forgetting.”

“Oi!”

And that was how it went for a good two hours, until they all got too tired to justify shoving flour in each other’s faces and collapsed in a heap on the floor. They did rock paper scissors to decide who got to magic the mess up, and Remus lost.

As he begrudgingly stood up to vanish the mess away, James sleepily called, “Happy birthday, Remus.”

Remus sounded a bit giddy when he replied, “Yeah. It is.”

Remus Lupin

“I’m guessing they gave you no choice?” Remus asked.

Professor McGonagall’s mouth twitched into the closest she would come to a smile. “James and Sirius rarely give one a choice. It was either reveal your birthday, or… other things. I apologize, Remus.”

Remus thought about yesterday- that chaotic, fun fight that he’d had to clean up afterwards but was still worth it- and smiled. “It’s alright. It was fun, anyways.”

*

Dear mum and dad,

My friends found out that it was my birthday! And I know you freaked out over the ‘my friends found out’ part, so I’ll repeat: they know about my BIRTHDAY!!!!

And it was okay! Lily Evans gave me a book- Hogwarts, a History, I read it in a day and it was fascinating- and my dormmates were AWESOME! They tried to make me a chocolate cake themselves; a sweet gesture except none of them know how to cook in the slightest. But it was FUN! I haven’t had so much fun in a long time!

I’ve got to go, Sirius is intent on going with James to play Quidditch and me and Peter are going to judge them. Well, I will. Peter has no backbone for those sorts of things.

-Remus.

*

It was March seventeenth already, and that day came with a bright green envelope from his parents announcing St. Patrick’s day. It was a tradition in Remus’s family. About half his family members were Irish and celebrated St. Patrick’s with a vengeance, while the other half was Scottish and claimed that there was no Irish in their body. So family reunions were never, ever held in March. (Not that Remus ever was invited to family reunions, but still.)

Remus’s parents bridged the gap between Irish and Scottish in their family. Remus’s mum was Irish- Remus still slipped into an Irish accent when he got mad- but Remus’s dad was pure Scottish. How his parents managed to get along, Remus had no idea. But they always had a habit of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day as a joke. Wearing green, pinching people, the like.

So of course Remus had entered the Great Hall with letter in hand and a bright green sweater on. He thought his friends were going to lose what was left of their minds.

“You’re wearing GREEN!” Sirius shouted the moment Remus sat down. “You can’t wear green! That’s their color!”

He jerked his chin over to the Slytherin table, where Esteban was laughing and charming a letter over some poor first year’s head, just out of reach.

Remus daintily spread a napkin on his lap and started to eat- because being dainty ticked Sirius off and Remus loved ticking Sirius off. “They don’t have a monopoly on the color green, Sirius.”

“But still,” Peter said in a hushed tone, looking back and forth with wide eyes like someone would shoot them all down. “It’s the principle. The Gryffindors just don’t like green.”

“Why’re you wearing green anyways, Remus?” James asked fairly.

“You don’t know what today is?” Remus asked, staring across the table at his three friend’s faces. “Really?”

“Should’ve said seriously,” Sirius muttered. “What’re you talking about, today?”

Peter’s eyes got wide. “Is there another holiday you aren’t telling us about?”

“Is it another person’s birthday?” James guessed.

Remus felt a bit bad about the birthday thing, but he was entitled to his secrets. “It’s about St. Patrick’s Day,” he said, hoping that would ring a bell.

He got three confused faces staring back at him.

Merlin.

“The Irish holiday!” Remus said, a bit louder like that was the problem. “Y’know, where you wear green and pretend you’re Irish for a day when you really aren’t!”

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “My mum hates the Irish.”

“Your mum hates everyone,” James countered.

“Fair.”

“I’ve heard of St. Patrick’s day,” Peter said, his forehead scrunched up as his brain tried to work without food in him yet. “Isn’t that… don’t you pinch people?”

James instantly lunged at Sirius and Sirius shrieked, making several people stare as he fought off James’s crab claws.

Remus reached across the table to separate them, making Sirius shout a muffled “OI!” as James pinched his arm before retreating. “Yes, Peter,” he said exhaustedly. “You pinch people who aren’t wearing green. That’s why I’m wearing green.”

“That’s not fair,” James noted. “The Slytherins all wear green, and they deserve a good pinch.”

“You deserve a good smack upside the head,” Sirius muttered, sulking about the pinch mark on his arm.

Peter looked with big blue eyes at Remus, a hopeful smile dawning across his wide face. “We could switch it,” he proposed, making James and Sirius turn to listen. “Switch it so everyone wearing green gets pinched.”

“And instead of saying Happy St. Patrick’s day, we could say Sad St. Patrick’s day,” James added reverently, looking to Peter with a huge smile on his face that made Peter grin proudly.

“That,” Remus said, fighting off his own grin, “Is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re wearing green,” Sirius dismissed. “Let’s do it, lads.”

And Remus, knowing exactly what was about to happen, desperately shoveled the last of his toast into his mouth before scraping his chair back and shouting a muffled, “I HATE ALL OF YOU!” as his three friends practically lunged across the table at him.

*

The rest of the day was a blur. Remus got pinched nearly a dozen times by his three friends, who finally stopped when Remus smacked said friends upside the head and flipped them off simultaneously. The poor Slytherins finally knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of a prank, and it turned out they didn’t much like it. Before long, reverse St. Patrick’s day was catching on and a bloodbath ensued.

And it was so fun.

Lunchtime had barely started before McGonagall’s reedy voice rang across the hall, magically amplified as she stood up from her staff seat. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she announced, sounding deeply disappointed in her career choices. “I was told to announce that students are NOT to go around pinching people. It is out of control. We are not barbarians. Say it with me: we are not barbarians.”

“We are not barbarians,” the students repeated.

“We are barbarians!” James and Sirius yelled.

Remus could’ve sworn he saw a grey hair appear in McGonagall’s bun. “Right. That’s the majority of you, good enough.”

But it was not good enough, because James and Peter and Sirius were whirlwinds. At least ten more people were pinched and angry before the end of the school day, with the help of James’s invisibility cloak. Remus thought the novelty of it would wear off, but he was very wrong.

“I want St. Patrick’s day to be every day!” Peter said happily, gripping Remus’s arm and giggling like a toddler as James emerged from the cloak with a furious Slytherin in his wake.

But the day wasn’t over yet, and McGonagall’s class had arrived with Sirius and James out for blood. And they’d picked their next target.

“Look at him,” James whispered to Sirius while McGonagall took attendance, sneering across the room at Severus Snape. “All smug and nasty and…”

“Annoying?” Remus supplied, standing next to them because he didn’t want to leave for his seat yet. “Infuriating? Frustrating? Aggravating? Horrible? Awful?”

“Showoff,” Sirius said, reaching across Peter to pinch Remus’s cheek. Remus swatted his hand off and hated his green sweater with a vengeance.

“All of the above,” James decided, literally making the evil villain steeple-hands. “We’ve got to get him, boys. And I don’t mean ‘pinch him’. I mean stab him with our hands.”

“A bit overboard, innit?” Peter whispered nervously.

“No,” James and Sirius said at the same time.

Remus knew there was no talking them out of that, but he also knew that his seat was far away from them and he had every intention of using that as an excuse. He liked McGonagall and he wasn’t about to get in trouble with her again. “You lot have fun,” he said, turning to head back to his seat.

Peter stopped him with a pinch to his shoulder, and Remus decided to let him have it because the kid was so scared his hands were shaking. “Can you at least help us cause a distraction?” Peter begged. “I’m tired of being the distraction man.”

“But you do it so well!” James said encouragingly. “Remember that time when you choked in Elkins’s room?”

“I’m not going to die choking for a distraction,” Remus said firmly. “Those are my personal prank boundaries.”

“I have no such qualms!” Sirius said proudly, absentmindedly raising his hand when McGonagall called his name on the attendance roll. “Tell me what to do. I can jump off my desk if you want.”

“That’s too obvious,” James said, and Remus could almost see the cogs working in his brain. “We need something subtle. Remus, you’re the only one here that can do subtle.”

Remus couldn’t argue with that.

“How about this?” he said resignedly, and his three friends perked up. “I’ll talk to her about St. Patrick’s day for two minutes. Two. That’s all you get-“

“Thanks Remus!” They chorused, and then they were shooing him away already. Pricks.

Professor McGonagall was all too happy to tell Remus about her take on St. Patrick’s day- and boy did she have one. “The Irish don’t need a holiday!” she said shrilly, literally setting her attendance scroll down to glare at Remus. “You don’t see a Scottish holiday being put into… America.”

“I take it you don’t like the Irish or the Americans,” Remus observed.

“Ha! Who does?”

“Probably the Irish and the Americans,” Remus said, looking out of the corner of his eye to see if he sensed the invisibility cloak.

“Absolute folly,” McGonagall said stubbornly, pulling her green cloak around her shoulders. “And this reverse St. Patrick’s day? Folly. It’s not even making fun of the Irish! I’d completely approve if it was making fun of the Irish!”

Remus ‘mhm’ed and let McGonagall continue with her rant. Students around him were rapidly completing their homework from a week ago before McGonagall called for it, so Remus figured he was doing everyone a service. And James and Sirius and Peter were nowhere to be seen, which was also good. Everything was going according to plan.

Remus tried to cough very loudly when Snape yelped like a banshee, but McGonagall’s rant suddenly halted and she scanned the room hawkishly. “Where are those three boys?” she asked dangerously.

And there really wasn’t anything else to do for Remus but to reach out and lightly pinch McGonagall’s green-clad arm, squeaking a small “Sorry” as she gasped like she’d been cussed out.

It was a distraction, alright.

“REMUS!” McGonagall snapped, and Remus’s cheeks lit up as the class giggled around him. “What is your explanation?!”

“Uhm,” Remus said as McGonagall rubbed her arm angrily. His eyes darted to the back of the room and he saw James and Sirius and Peter obediently back in their seats, gawping at him in awe. That gave him the courage to turn back to her and whisper, “Sad St. Patrick’s day?”

McGonagall was silent for long enough that Remus thought she was summoning a stack of detention slips. But then her face broke out into a smile, a smile on McGonagall!

“You’re not your father’s boy, Mr. Lupin,” she remarked, shaking her head and picking her attendance scroll back up. “Not at all.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” McGonagall said, with an amusement he’d never seen on her.

And then she pinched him on his arm. “Go back to your seat, Mr. Lupin.”

Peter Pettigrew

James’s birthday was on the twenty-seventh, and he managed to last two whole days after St. Patrick’s day before telling the school.

“My birthday’s in eight days!” he’d excitedly told them that day.

“My birthday’s in seven days!” he’d told the entirety of Elkins’s class the next day, getting groans from the class as the professor began another story that started on the topic of birthdays and ended on cockroaches.

“My birthday’s in six days!” he said to a Hufflepuff sixth year with no prompting whatsoever. She nodded and patted him on the head endearingly and Sirius muttered “Hufflepuffs” under his breath.

“My birthday’s in five days!” he’d announced to Lily Evans when he passed her in the hallways, getting a ‘humph’ as she marched past him.

“My birthday’s in four days!” he told a Slytherin first year before sticking a beetle in her hair and getting detention from Flitwick.

“My birthday-“

“I’m going to strangle you,” Remus said softly, slowly turning the page of his book.

And then James stopped talking about his birthday.

But he’d talked about it enough for Sirius to wake Peter up early the morning of the twenty-sixth with a quiet “We have a birthday to plan”.

“Sirius,” Peter remarked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and wondering if this was all a fever dream. “You’re up before eight.”

“I know,” Sirius said, his voice giving away that he most definitely was only awake for James’s sake. “Now get up before James does!”

Peter stumbled out of bed and Sirius went to pounce on Remus. Peter watched as Sirius yanked back Remus’s curtains and started hitting him with a furry blanket he’d one-hundred percent stolen from the common room. Remus woke up with a pathetic little whimper that would’ve made Peter give up immediately, but Sirius… how to put it. Sirius had no empathy for human beings. “Get up!” he hissed at Remus, dropping the blanket on his face and shaking his shoulders.

Peter was about to tell him to let Remus sleep when Remus jolted up with an actual scream, throwing the blanket off and punching Sirius across the face.

With a flurry of cuss words, Sirius managed to roughly grab both Remus and Peter’s arms and drag them towards the dorm room’s door before James woke up.

When the door was safely closed and James still snoring, Sirius let go of both their arms and Peter fumbled for his wand (he’s not saying he’s scared of the dark, but…). “Are you out of your mind?!” Sirius asked Remus harshly, rubbing at the side of his face. “Git! What was that for?!”

“Lumos,” Peter said shakily, and his wand illuminated Remus’s pale form. He was covered in a thin jumper and pajama pants, and he was absolutely trembling.

Sirius became rather uncomfortable very fast. His face was red where Remus had hit him, and he awkwardly asked, “Did you think I was… Esteban, or something?”

Remus’s chest was heaving with suppressed… something. The heavy bags under his eyes became menacing as he pushed around Peter and into Sirius’s face, breathing, “Don’t ever put that thing on me.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “What, are you scared of the blanket?“

Remus shook his head and pure fury passed over his features.

Sirius nodded, backing away towards the stairs.

“Sooooo,” Peter squeaked, hoping Remus would back away so Peter didn’t have to actually step into the situation. “Are we planning James’s birthday?”

But Sirius was nothing if not awful at taking scolding, and he just glared at Remus and said, “I don’t think so.”

“Fine by me,” Remus snapped, and Peter noticed a slight limp as he brushed past them both and opened the dorm’s door again.

“So I just woke up for nothing?” Peter groaned, but his friends were already back in their room.

*

The morning of James’s birthday arrived, and they had no plan.

Peter was a little selfish for thinking it, but he felt happy that he hadn’t been the only one not getting a birthday celebration. His birthday had been on the ninth of September, and he was too scared to tell his friends- acquaintances, back then. So the only celebration he’d gotten was a letter from his mum and a rotten box of old candy from his great-aunt (who sadly never forgets birthdays; we all have that relative).

“What’re we gonna do?” Sirius whispered to Peter. “He’s been talking about it all week.”

“He’s gonna be mad,” Sirius whispered again to Peter ten minutes later, when they were solemnly heading to breakfast with an enthusiastic James Potter. “The only time we’ve got is however long he’s expecting before the surprise party.”

It would’ve been nice if those two could’ve remembered their concerns before they yelled at each other the morning before and called off the meeting, but Peter bit his tongue.

James was fidgeting the entirety of breakfast, and Peter’s mind was racing as he tried to think of something they could pretend they’d planned all along. Sirius met his eyes five times across the table (probably the most Sirius had ever met his eyes, really) and mouthed help.

Remus was acting unbothered. “Stop fidgeting, James,” he said, buttering his toast and ignoring Peter and Sirius’s SOSes. “Your present’s in a minute.”

James stopped fidgeting immediately, beaming and obediently eating his own toast. Sirius and Peter looked at Remus like WHAT.

Remus smiled thinly and picked up his toast. Unbothered.

“What are we doing?” Peter asked nervously as Remus led them out of Elkins’s morning class under the pretense that all four of them had to use the loo.

“Pretend like you know,” was all Remus hissed before calling pleasantly to James, “A minute!”

James was chatting a few feet behind them to Sirius, who was trying to pretend like he knew exactly what was happening. Sirius was better at lying then Peter, and so Peter had been confined to Remus’s side as a precaution.

“We’re here,” Remus announced suddenly, stopping and making Peter stumble over his feet to do the same.

James started, “Guys, it’s too much-“ and then actually bothered to look around. His face fell. “It’s the Great Hall,” he said, and Peter was very concerned at the twitch in his eye. “We… we walked five minutes for-“

“A game of hide and seek,” Remus said dramatically. “Using the whole castle. We know how much you want to map the whole thing-“

“But that was impossible,” Sirius said, clearly catching on by the way his face lit up. Peter kept his mouth shut and hoped his face wasn’t sweating as much as he thought it was.

“So we’re just exploring,” Remus finished, seeming pretty proud of himself. It was well deserved, considering their only plan before had been to light a pudding on fire at dinner and call it a cake.

James let out a gasp tantamount to a scream. “That’s AWESOME!” he said, whisper-shouting in case Filch decided to appear (or worse, Ms. Norris. Peter was scared of cats. Everything, but also cats.). “NOT IT, though!”

Peter’s heart started to pound.

“NOT IT!” he and Remus shouted at the same time. Sirius groaned.

And then he was unwillingly counting, and James practically skidded out the hall. Peter hated hide and seek so much. He’d always been terrified of it. Terrified of hiding and not being found, terrified of hiding and being found first, terrified of having to find people and being left alone- all of it. Which made him a pretty lousy child to play with, and probably contributed to him having no friends but the ones his mother forced him to play with.

Remus was bolting too, racing out of the hall as Sirius hit ten. Peter sprinted after him as quickly as a Peter could, and managed to catch his arm before they hit the staircase (which was good, because Peter wasn’t about to run up a staircase).

“Remus!” he panted, and Remus wheeled around paranoidly. “Remus, can I pair up with you?”

Remus scanned the room behind Peter, making sure Sirius wasn’t about to round a corner. “Why?”

What if Remus thought he was weird to be scared? “Umm…”

“Forget it,” Remus said, turning back to the staircase. Peter’s heart sank until Remus’s hand moved to grip his wrist and he started dragging Peter up the staircase. Peter tried to hide how his breath was already labored and focused on the face that he at least wasn’t alone.

Him and Remus had panted and crawled their way to the fourth floor when they heard Sirius’s lilting, creepy voice call out, “Where are you guyssssss?”

Remus whispered a few words that shouldn’t be repeated and turned to Peter gravely. “We’re going to have to split up.”

Peter didn’t register he was panicking until Remus was shaking his shoulders, frantically pulling him along and muttering a few more cuss words. Peter didn’t know why he got like this- why he freaked out so much about a game of hide-and-seek. But that was a problem for another time, because Sirius’s voice was getting closer.

Remus frantically scanned the hall they were in as Sirius’s voice called, “You made me walk up four flights of stairsssssss. Fourrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

“He’s almost here,” Remus whispered. Peter didn’t know how he knew the exact location but he decided Remus was probably just smarter. He let Remus pull him along twisting corners and passageways until they came across…

“Remus,” Peter whispered hysterically, breaking free of Remus’s grip and gesturing wildly. “That’s not a door! That’s a mirror! A MIRROR!”

“Don’t you think I know that?!” Remus whisper-shouted. “Now get in!”

“GET IN?!” Peter shrieked, a bit too loudly.

Sirius’s voice came back with a vengeance and much, much closer. “DID I JUST HEAR A PETER?!”

“Be quiet, boy in the hallway!” called Madame Pince (apparently the library was in the fourth floor, Peter hadn’t known that). (But then again, Peter hadn’t known where the library was, period.)

Remus shoved Peter closer to the mirror… Peter’s breath fogged up the glass…

And he was inside the mirror.

HE WAS INSIDE THE MIRROR!

“Remus!” Peter shrieked, not bothering to be quiet anymore. “REMUS! I’M IN THE-“

Remus tumbled out next to him and slammed a clammy hand against Peter’s mouth. “Shut up,” he said in that dangerous way only a twelve-year old playing hide-and-seek could. “Shut up. We’re in a hallway, idiot.”

Peter forced himself to look around- he was in a mirror, though- and yeah. It was a hallway, but it was a hallway inside a mirror!

“I don’t like this,” Peter tried to say, but Remus’s hand was still over his mouth. Remus gave him a look like don’t even try and started looking around in wonder.

“This is class,” Remus whispered, taking his hand off Peter’s mouth and taking a few steps forwards to look down the passageway. It was a sloping tunnel that seemed to be heading down to who-knows-where. Peter very much didn’t want to go further, so when Remus took another step forward Peter blurted, “This is an important di-discovery! Let’s show the others?”

It didn’t come out quite right, but Remus got the message. He wheeled Peter around (since Peter’s limbs were not functioning) and forced them both through the mirror. Now that Peter was paying attention, it felt a little bit like cool mist brushing at his face. “Sirius!” Remus called. “We forfeit! No, forfeiting sounds dumb. We’re going on a truce! We have important information-“

Sirius barreled out of the hallway in front of them and ran at them, and before Peter had time to warn “Wait, there’s a magic mirror behind us” they were flying through the thing. Sirius’s yelp of triumph turned into a choking gasp as they hit the stone floor of the passage.

Peter groaned- because of course, everyone had to land on him- and sat up. Sirius was still choking on his gasp, and Remus whacked him on the back.

Finally, he jerked back to life and said, “We just went through a mirror.”

“How observant,” Remus said blandly.

Sirius looked at Peter with wide grey eyes. “It’s a secret passage.”

Peter felt relieved. “I also think it’s scary-“

“WE HAVE TO TELL JAMES!” Sirius yelled, all sense of fear forgotten. He turned around and sprinted out of the mirror, ignoring Madame Pince’s shushes as he screamed “JAMES! JAMES! WE FOUND A SUPER COOL MIRROR!”

It took them ten minutes to find James. He’d been hiding inside one of the magic flowers in the Herbology greenhouse, and Remus declared that he’d probably have a rash for awhile. “I’m not sure about this ‘cool mirror’,” he was scoffing as they paraded him back to the fourth floor (Only getting lost eight times). “My dad has a cooler one, I bet. He said he uses it to talk to mum when he’s away.”

“This one’s cooler,” Sirius said insistently.

“It is not cooler-“

“It is cooler,” James admitted in awe, after he’d choked on his fear of being shoved into a mirror and Remus had happily slapped him on the back. “And ouch, Remus.”

“That’s for all the times you wake me up at six,” Remus dismissed.

They heard students outside the mirror starting to go to their classes, and Peter said, “We should probably go before Slughorn realizes we’re missing.”

“First coherent thing you’ve said in a bit,” Remus observed.

Peter watched as James made a mental note of the mirror’s location. He turned to all of them with a bright smile on his face and before Peter knew it James was pulling him and Sirius into a rough hug, ruffling Remus’s hair. “Best. Birthday. EVER.”

Chapter Text

James Potter

James was woken up at three in the morning on the thirtieth of March by Sirius screaming like he’d been attacked. James waited, because it was their routine now- Sirius went to Remus for the serious- ha, Sirius- stuff, and to James for all the stuff he wanted to repress. Sirius loved repressing stuff.

So when Sirius didn’t come to his bed, James started to get worried.

Remus was gone to wherever he kept going for all those days, so Sirius hadn’t gone to him. James swept his curtains out of the way and swung his legs off the bed, groping around for his wand on the bedside table and casting a quick lumos.

The room lit up dimly, and James shined the wand like a torch on Sirius’s bed. Empty. Remus’s bed. Of course, empty. Peter’s bed- and Sirius was in front of it, being hugged by a very confused, sleep-deprived Peter Pettigrew.

James jumped out of bed and padded over, still muddled with sleep. “Sirius?” he asked softly, and Sirius just shook his head. It looked like he was catching his breath, arms wrapped around Peter to ground himself.

Peter turned to James and said, “It was pretty bad. Woke me up, at least.”

Nothing short of a grenade could wake Peter up, so that scream must’ve been pretty bad. James pressed up against Peter’s side to try and see Sirius’s face, but Sirius was dead set on that not happening. “What was it this time, mate?” James asked, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as best he could (since clearly he was going to be there for awhile).

Sirius sucked in a big breath of air and pulled his head off Peter’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said to Peter, shakily.

Peter shook his head and offered a small concerned smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

James waited till Sirius turned to him with an air of ‘absolutely nothing happened’ and said, “I want to do something.”

James nodded- because thatwas really the only way he could help. “’Course. Like what? We could sneak to the kitchens again like that time in September when… when we were woken up… or we could-“

“I want to visit Dumbledore,” Sirius said firmly.

Never, never in his time at Hogwarts had James heard his best friend say he wanted to visit a professor voluntarily. James wondered for a second if Sirius was under the imperious curse. Maybe that was what the scream had been about…

“Okay, mate,” he said unsurely, trying for a confident, happy, everything-is-fine-and-you-aren’t-a-crazy-person face. “Should we, uhm… get dressed first?”

Sirius shook his head, and even sleep-deprived James could tell the cogs in his brain were turning. “Element of surprise. He can tell we’re really worried if we show up in our pajamas.”

“Uhm,” Peter said timidly, “What’re we worried about?”

Sirius finally cracked a smile. “Remus.”

*

Professor Dumbledore was in a really good mood for someone who’d just been woken up at an ungodly time by three adolescents. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, not a trace of sleep in his voice, fully dressed. James felt a bit underdressed now that it was clear Sirius’s ‘element of surprise’ wasn’t so surprising.

Since Sirius was on a mission fueled by trauma and Peter was very very scared, James decided to be the diplomat and asked, “How’re you so awake?”

“That’s easy!” Dumbledore said cheerily, his beard crinkling in a smile. “I never sleep! Do come in.”

Sirius was unfazed, and pushed past Dumbledore- pushed past DUMBEDORE!- to get inside. James and Peter followed suit, Peter gripping James’s pajama sleeve like he always did when he was scared.

Dumbledore’s office was huge, and there was a bird. Those were the only two details that James memorized in his three-AM brain.

“So,” Sirius said as soon as Dumbledore sat down and steepled his hands in that old headmastery way. “We need to know about Remus.”

Dumbledore’s face was completely impassive. “What about him?”

“He keeps disappearing,” James blurted- just because this was Sirius’s weird quest didn’t mean James couldn’t learn from it. “Like, every few weeks, to see his family. Why d’you let that happen?”

“I am not in charge of Mr. Lupin’s affairs,” Dumbledore said mildly, pushing his crescent-moon glasses up. “His parents are.”

“But you are in charge of his affairs,” Sirius noted, narrowing his eyes. “Because he’s a student. His grades are probably going down because of all the school he’s missing!”

Dumbledore smiled and gently said, “His grades are better than yours, I’m afraid.”

James snickered. Sirius puffed his chest out and argued, “That’s ‘cause he actually does homework. I don’t, ‘cause it’s dumb.”

“You’re talking to a headmaster,” Dumbledore reminded.

“And do you think homework is dumb?” James pressed.

“Of course. I’m just making sure that you understand who you are talking to.”

James thought Dumbledore really needed sleep.

Sirius didn’t find any part of the situation funny. “Why do you keep letting him go?” he pressed, looking angrier by the minute. “Something doesn’t feel right!”

James secretly agreed, but he wouldn’t say it in front of the headmaster. He wondered if Sirius did forget who he was talking to. Peter gripped his sleeve tighter, and James swatted at his hand.

Dumbledore motioned for them all to take deep breaths, while taking none himself. James wondered if he breathed. James wondered if Dumbledore was alive. James wondered if they should all possibly go to bed. “Sirius,” Dumbledore said, and James sensed that he was getting kinda impatient. “Remus gets ill sometimes. It’s a chronic illness, and I’m afraid there really is nothing to be done about it. I’m sure you’ve seen him sick sometimes.”

James remembered that one time Remus had a whole breakdown in front of them and cringed.

“Judging by your cringe, Mr. Potter, you most certainly have. His parents just want to make sure he’s alright before they send him back into an environment with a growing number of sniffly, contagious children.”

“That makes sense,” Peter admitted. James was ninety percent sure it was just to appease Dumbledore.

Dumbledore did look appeased. “Thank you, Mr. Pettigrew.”

Sirius was not appeased, nor was he claiming the situation made sense. James was spacing out and not sure if the universe made sense, so he wasn’t appeased either. “But professor!” Sirius said quickly, “That can’t be right! There’s other things that happen to him too! I made a whole list! He doesn’t like being touched, he flinches at loud sounds, he hardly ever goes outside-“

“Have you tried talking to Mr. Lupin about this?” Dumbledore asked, on what was most possibly his last string of sanity.

“Yes! He says he doesn’t want to talk about it!”

“Hm.” Dumbledore sighed, and looked down at his desk as if deep in thought. James stared at the place his head was and wondered what are any of us, really, but specks on a cruel world- “Then maybe,” Dumbledore said, “That’s your answer. And I am not allowed to disclose student’s personal information to other students. I’ve disclosed too much already, in fact.”

Sirius pushed his chair back and James rode out the frustration as well, scrunching his face up and blinking…

“Come on, James,” Sirius’s much calmer voice said. James blinked his eyes open and saw that they weren’t in Dumbledore’s office anymore, instead just out of it. “Wake up.”

Peter and Sirius’s hands were propping James up under his arms. James tried to stand and flopped miserably, and Peter caught him with an extra hand. “I might have to carry you,” he said in a jokey voice.

James reached his arms up and nodded, because that sounded very very nice. “Yes please.”

“No mate,” Sirius said impatiently, tapping James’s shoulder. “Keep it moving, then you can sleep.”

Sleep sounded nice, so James managed to stumble a few feet forward with Peter and Sirius’s hands holding him upright. “Did we learn any new stuffs?” he slurred, opening blurry eyes to look at Sirius then Peter then Sirius then Peter then James was very dizzy and Sirius was tapping James’s shoulder again.

“Nope,” Peter said, sounding perplexed. “It just doesn’t make sense. It makes sense that he gets sick, but-“

“But there are so many other factors!” Sirius blurted quietly, tapping James’s shoulder again as they approached the dreaded stairs to their floor. James flopped like a worm in a general uppy direction and Sirius added, “And Dumbledore didn’t answer ANY of my questions!”

“’Least he distracted you, though,” James muttered, sticking his tongue out and staring very intently at it.

“What?”

“Distracted you,” James said again. “From your nightmare.”

Peter cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah. Guess it did, right?”

Sirius was silent.

“What was it about?” James slurred again, because sleepy James had pushed out James With A Conscience. “What’us the nightare about, Sierrrrr?”

More silence. Peter cleared his throat again and said, “So, test in McGonagall’s tomorrow.”

James was almost asleep when they finally managed to make it to the dorm room. Thank Merlin James’s bed was the closest, because his legs gave away and he just barely managed to collapse with the covers generally on him before he became incapable of movement.

His eyes were closing before Sirius and Peter were even in the room, and he was almost out before he heard a quiet voice. Sirius’s voice.

“It was about my mother,” the voice said. Quietly. Scared. “And my brother. I’m worried about him, sometimes. Um…”

“Your mum is a trash human,” James said blurrily- blurrily? Yeah, that sounds right- and pulled the covers up more.

He heard a watery chuckle. “Yeah, she is.”

“You should share my mum,” James continued in the blurry voice. “She’s suuuuuuper nice. Her name’s Euphemia. Which is weeeeirrrrrdddd. But she doesn’t mind me teasing her bout it. You should come over next summer. Hm, g’night.”

And then darkness.

Remus Lupin

Madame Pomphrey put the dreaded tray on Remus’s lap again, and he turned bright red.

“You’re having the whole meal,” she said at the same time as he said “I’m not having the whole meal.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Madame Pomphrey sighed and begrudgingly picked the tray up off Remus’s lap. “Are you still scared to eat in front of me?”

Of course! Remus was scared to do anything, in front of anyone, but he didn’t tell her that. Instead he shrugged and said stubbornly, “I’m not hungry.”

Which wasn’t the truth, not really. He’d come out of the March full moon with a broken rib, arm, leg, and a pretty major concussion, which was bad even for his track record. He felt horrible, simply put. Madame Pomphrey’s bone-healing potions worked, but they only went so far. Remus’s head was pulsing, and he was sure steadily refusing food wasn’t helping.

But he just felt awful, and so, so inhuman.

To pass the time while Madame Pomphrey busied herself with setting up another pain potion, Remus browsed through his parents’ letters. They were all purposely full of happiness to counteract the clear unhappiness that Remus was obviously feeling, and none of them said the ‘w word’. All of the letters mentioned his friends, and how happy they were that he had them.

Remus was increasingly worried about said friends. They seemed on the verge of finding out, and it hadn’t even been a year yet.

Madame Pomphrey set the tray down again, right on top of one of his mum’s letters that he was obsessively rereading. “Eat,” she said firmly.

“No,” Remus said, also firmly. They had a stare-down. She took away the tray.

When Remus left the hospital wing on the morning of April First, she didn’t joke around with him like normal. Only said “See you next month, Mr. Lupin.”.

That didn’t bode well, but whatever. Remus wasn’t eating her stupid food, and that was that.

Remus got lost on purpose five times on his way back to the Gryffindor tower. He was tired of using his werewolf senses for everything, like they were a superpower. They were a problem, an added symptom. They didn’t deserve to be used.

And that was probably why he didn’t know Esteban Pettigrew was coming until he heard the words “ENGORGIO!” being shouted with a blast. Remus felt a piercing sensation on his ear, and then…

Oh, no.

Oh, no…

The engorgio charm was used to grow things…

Remus turned around in the empty stone corridor (curse his stubborn self for making Pomphrey let him out at five AM) and saw Esteban standing the with wand still outstretched, smirking with dark circles under his eyes.

“April Fools!” he mocked, but even that made Remus’s head pulse because his right ear was growing, growing to the size of his head. He could feel the weight tilting his head to the right and he forced himself to look unaffected at the amplified noise around him. It was so loud, even the sound of the torches flickering in their stone holsters was enough to make Remus flinch.

“Go away,” Remus whispered, almost making the mistake of shutting his eyes. He should’ve grabbed his wand and retaliated, but he could barely think through the noise.

“What?” Esteban boomed, so loud that it made Remus’s vision tunnel. Esteban’s face was the only thing he could see, his mouth forming the words, “Can’t take a joke, sissy?”

Loud loud loud loud LOUD-

Remus wheeled around and started running, hating how his own footsteps made him cringe. He sprinted away from Esteban’s loud words and down the corridor, up some stairs, up some more stairs… where was he…

He heard Esteban’s footsteps following him, so he kept running.

He was pretty high up then, flying down the empty stone corridors with a ridiculous looking ear and probably a horridly scrunched up face. He didn’t care about looking normal at that point. Not when everything was so loud.

Esteban was following him- where could he hide?

And then Remus saw a mirror, and his heart soared because he knew that mirror.

Esteban’s piercing shriek of surprise made him cry out as well as he barreled through the golden-framed mirror. He didn’t stop running once he was inside, just sprinting down the moldy stone hall and not knowing quite where he was going-

“Remus?” said an impossibly loud voice. “Why do you have two heads?”

Remus yelped as quietly as one can yelp and ran right into Peter Pettigrew’s short chubby frame, almost knocking them both over. Peter’s mouth fell open as he stared up at Remus’s enlarged ear. Remus prayed he wasn’t going to say anything.

Then he heard an echoing voice shout “REMUS!” and he was falling.

Unfortunately, Peter was surprised and fell also. They collapsed to the floor in a heap, Peter half splayed across Remus, as Sirius’s pounding footsteps hurried over. What were they doing in that corridor? They must’ve been exploring without him, the pricks… although they probably thought Remus was going to tell them they shouldn’t. Case in point, Remus was about to hit Sirius upside the head for being so loud-

When the world stopped spinning, that was.

Sirius fell next to them- never one to be left out- and Remus focused on the moldy, nasty ceiling to preserve his sanity. “WHY’S YOUR EAR SO BIG?” Sirius asked- boomed, same thing- right in said big ear.

Remus hissed some words an eleven-year-old shouldn’t hiss. “Got hexed by Peter’s cousin,” he said, feeling rather woozy.

Sirius said “OOOOOOOH” very unnecessarily and very loudly. Peter wailed “I’m so sorry about him!” and Remus decided he wanted to chop his ears off.

He wondered why they were still laying on the floor, then realized his friends were waiting for him to get up. He struggled to sit and it made stars cloud his vision. He shouldn’t have ran that much. Madame Pomphrey had told him not to overexert himself, and what had he done? Got his ear enlarged and sprinted up three flights of stairs, all in five minutes. He could already feel himself getting dizzy.

“Where’s James?” he asked quietly, because James was at least more sensitive than Sirius.

“SLEEPING!” Sirius said, and Remus flinched again. “HE WAS EXHAUSTED AFTER…”

“After Sirius woke us up last night,” Peter said helpfully, sitting up and smiling sunnily at Remus. Too sunnily…

“OI!” Sirius objected, and it hurt so bad so Remus covered his ears with his hand but obviously it didn’t help the one that was the size of a head. “REMUS, YOU ALRIGHT?”

“I don’t feel good,” Remus whispered. His normal ear had started ringing, which was really helpful.

Peter put a hand on Remus’s shoulder in his awkward, Peter fashion. Sirius jumped up and extended a hand to Remus, saying “I CAN WALK YOU BACK TO THE DORM AND UNGORGIFY YOUR EAR-“

“SHUT UP!” Remus shouted, and he hid his face in his useless hands.

He always did this. He always screamed at his friends when they were just being… friendly. He hated it so much.

Peter’s nervous voice asked, “Remus, should you go to the hospital wing?”

Yes, Remus probably should go to the hospital wing, but Remus was not going to go to the hospital wing because he didn’t want to see Madame Pomphrey’s face when he showed up again. He shook his head and wind literally whistled in and out of his ear. It was pathetic.

Then it was gone, with a whispered word.

Remus pulled his face out of his hands and looked up through glazed eyes to see Sirius’s wand pointing at Remus. He reached up to touch his right ear and it was normal again. As normal as a werewolf’s ears could get, but still.

“Thanks,” he said sheepishly, hating how he’d acted before. Now that the pain was mostly gone, it was easy to pretend he’d overreacted.

Sirius didn’t respond to that, just held his free hand out at Remus and said, “Come on, off the floor.”

Remus stumbled up with Sirius and Peter’s help, and cussed like a sailor as they travelled out of the secret passage. “James is gonna be so sad he missed this,” Sirius said giddily, very oblivious to Remus’s pain. (Sirius was oblivious to everything, so it’s not like it was shocking. But still).

“I didn’t know there were that many cuss words,” Peter said in awe as they passed through the mirror.

Remus forced himself to stop extending Peter’s knowledge of certain words and gritted his teeth through the pain. “My parents were pretty lax. They taught me a lot-”

“I thought you said they were strict,” Sirius said immediately, steering them towards the staircase. Leave it to him to be observant right when Remus needed him not to.

Remus was too tired to explain anything, so he just whispered, “Please stop talking.”

“Rude,” Sirius huffed, but he didn’t say anything as they went to Slughorn’s class. Remus stopped and tried to figure out the logistics of catapulting himself through Slughorn’s door without breaking multiple limbs when Sirius kept dragging him along. “Bye, Peter!” he called behind him, forcing Remus to limp away from Slughorn’s class.

Peter looked just as confused as Remus, but he managed a little wave before disappearing into the wave of first years. Remus forced his head to stop lolling (he found that hindered his ability to be angry) and growled, “Sirius. Walk me back.”

“See,” Sirius drawled, “The fact that you have to be walked back is exactly why we’re going to the dorm.”

Panic stabbed at Remus’s already irritated senses, and he blurted “But I’ve already missed a day!”

“Oh no,” Sirius said in a monotone, guiding them up the far-too-steep Gryffindor stairs. “Two whole days of school, gone. Whatever shall you do without that knowledge-“

“I’m serious!” Remus said harshly, feeling exposed with his piercing senses.

Sirius snorted. “Is this an April Fool’s prank?” he asked.

Remus barely managed to catch on. “Sure,” he grumbled, giving up on fighting and just saving his energy as Sirius carted him into the Gryffindor common room. “I’m Sirius Black, and I enjoy kidnapping first years-“

“SICK first years!” Sirius corrected. “And I’m a first year too-“

“Doesn’t make it right,” Remus said sleepily.

“Doesn’t make you any less sick,” Sirius countered, looking over to give Remus a Look.

He was right- Remus felt terrible. And maybe he didn’t want to push himself to another Great Breakdown like February’s… “Fine,” he sighed, feeling queasy even at the exhale. “Walk me up to the dorm, I suppose-“

“I’m staying with you,” Sirius said bluntly (the only way Sirius could say anything).

Ugh.

Remus didn’t have the strength to argue. He let Sirius cart him up to his bed and collapsed into a deep, deep sleep.

*

When he woke up, he quickly discovered that Sirius was the worst caretaker in the history of ever.

“What’s the answer to number nine?” Sirius shouted- all too loudly- across the room.

Remus didn’t know the homework questions by heart, but he decided to play along. “Goblin Revolution!”

“I’m doing charms work?”

“Oh.” Remus cleared his throat and called hoarsely, “Could you get me more water?”

Sirius groaned and pulled himself off his desk. “I was getting so much done!” he whined.

“You’ve been working on question nine for thirty minutes.”

“Only because you’ve been so boring,” Sirius defended, and a cold cup of water was plopped unceremoniously on Remus’s bedtable. “You know I don’t want to do charms homework.”

“I’m sure you could find something else,” Remus said patiently, because of course he ended up taking care of his caretaker. “Why don’t you write in that crinkly paper you’re always pouring over?”

Sirius stilled, one hand on his desk chair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said lowly.

Remus bristled. “Alright. Have it your way.”

There was a tense silence in which Remus willed Sirius to leave so he could gripe to himself about his aches without sounding selfish, and then Sirius said “Tell me about plants.”

Remus groaned internally- his throat was physically incapable of making a guttural noise other than a groan of death- and rasped, “You don’t have to talk about that, you know. What do you like talking about?”

Sirius gave up on his charms homework (Remus was surprised he lasted that long) and strode over to him, collapsing next to him with absolutely no regard to personal space. “I dunno. Quidditch is more James’s thing. I like hexing Severus.”

The idea of hexing people made Remus queasy. “That’s not a hobby, Sirius.”

“It is if you’re good at it.” He paused. A little half smile quirked on his face, and Remus knew he was about to start talking about his mum. He turned to look as Sirius said, “I feel like my parents… I don’t know. I haven’t had time for hobbies, really.”

Remus had no idea what that was like. He’d basically lived for hobbies, all twelve years of his life. But he didn’t want to tell Sirius that, so he just said, “You’ll find one. In the meantime, if you want me to talk your ear off about plants-“

“NO!” Sirius said loudly, and Remus started laughing raspily.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter knew he was dumb.

How could he not be, when everyone was telling him so? He was used to it- from Esteban, from his extended family, from his friends, even subtly from his mum- so it was fine.

But that didn’t make it any better when professor McGonagall handed him, face-down, a test score that read T.

“Troll,” he whispered to himself. How dumb did you have to be to get troll?

Professor McGonagall must’ve seen his burning red face, because she smiled as reassuringly as the strictest teacher in school could. “Cheer up, Mr. Pettigrew,” she said, not unkindly. “All first years develop studying habits differently. Maybe go over your homework better next time…”

But Peter had, at least six times. He’d had Remus quiz him on the principles of magic for a week straight before the quiz, and he'd even read a chapter in the textbook to get better.

The thing was, none of that mattered when he was given that piece of parchment that read Transfiguration Exam. His mind just went blank, as blank as the sheet of paper he was supposed to write answers on.

And he’d botched it, like usual.

He’d tried to hide the paper from Sirius and James, but Sirius had grabbed it a second before he shoved it in his bag. “TROLL?!” he exclaimed, loud enough for the whole class to hear. Heads turned. James looked at Peter like I’m so sorry. “That’s AWFUL, Pettigrew!”

Then he gave the paper back, right into Peter’s hands as the class giggled.

“I could help you, you know,” James whispered in Peter’s ear while they were packing up their things. “With the transfiguration. I’m pretty awesome at it.”

Peter took a few deep breaths and tried for a shaky smile. “That’d be nice-“

“I don’t think you can help him at this point,” Sirius said melodramatically, staring at Peter’s bag like he could still see that test grade inside it. “A T. Merlin.”

Peter left the class with the paper burning a hole in his backpack.

The next day, Lily Evans decided to be That Person that reminded professor Elkins to pass out homework grades. After about five minutes of hemming and hawing about the scarf she’d just finished knitting (the scarf was actually pretty good, but the class hated it because they spent half the time hearing about it), grades were finally on desks. Professor Elkins sat down and told a boring story about a tree and a cat, so the students got up and mingled, talking about grades and shooting glares at Lily.

Peter looked at his paper and then put it facedown.

Remus noticed and grimaced sympathetically. “How bad is it?” he asked lightly.

“The worst,” Peter said, face burning.

Remus awkwardly reached across the aisle to pat Peter’s shoulder, and Peter caught a glance at the Outstanding grade on Remus’s desk.

Peter was so dumb.

“Guess who’s getting detention for not doing homework?!” Sirius asked cheerfully as him and James bounded over. Oh no, Peter thought, and subtly slipped his paper into his bag.

“US!” James cried, grinning and resting an arm on Sirius’s shoulder. Remus rolled his eyes.

They posed in front of Remus and Peter’s desks like they were expecting applause, so Peter started clapping. His leg shifted to the overenthusiastic applause and knocked his bag over, and his homework spilled out with a red T on the front.

Sirius gawped and shoved James’s arm off him. “AGAIN?!”

“Quit it, Sirius,” Remus warned, but Peter was already humiliated.

James watched as Peter hurriedly scooped up the homework. “That’s horrible, mate,” he observed. “It’s homework.”

“And you TRIED!” Sirius said gleefully, his gawp morphing into a mocking grin. “It’s one thing not to do it, but-“

“QUIT it, Sirius!” Remus snapped, and Sirius thankfully fell silent.

Peter emptied his bag out that night in the common room and threw his bad grades in the fire. Remus sat next to him on the floor next to the fireplace and talked nonsense about the next Quidditch game he wasn’t planning on going to.

The next day was the worst, by far, because Peter had to owl his mum on grade updates.

Dear mum, he started the letter. He turned on his bed to look at Remus and hissed, “What do I say next?”

“Start with the positives,” Remus whispered back, ignoring James and Sirius having a prank-idea session.

I’d like to start with I have made many friends-

“That’s not the right grammar,” Remus remarked, rolling to read over Peter’s shoulder.

Peter pushed Remus away and groaned. “I get it, I’m stupid!”

“You’re not stupid!” Remus said quickly- too quickly, he’d had time to think about this. “You just need practice, Pete. That’s all.”

“Rubbish,” Peter whispered, continuing the letter with a new annoyance.

“Not rubbish,” Remus said in that usual Remus way. “Don’t let people tell you you’re stupid. Really.”

Peter forced a nod and scribbled a letter loosely describing his general failure.

The next day was Saturday, meaning Peter was finally safe from tests and homework grades. Remus had decided to take a homework day, and he’d wanted Peter to go with him to the library but Peter wanted to follow Sirius and James. Maybe that’s why Peter was stupid- he didn’t put in the effort to stop himself.

James and Sirius were fresh out of Friday-night detention and feeling alive. They raced Peter out of the castle and onto the school grounds, James talking excitedly to Sirius while they were running. Peter was pretty sure he had to stop himself from keeling over like three times.

“We should play tag!” James said excitedly when they finally collapsed under a maple tree.

Peter managed to catch his breath enough to wheeze, “No- tag. I’ll- die.”

“Boring!” Sirius groaned at him, ruffling the grass as he laid down and put his hands behind his head. “What else are we supposed to do?”

James fell next to Peter- Peter felt a little happy he didn’t sit next to Sirius- and offered, “We could play hide-and-seek.”

Sirius sat up just as quickly as he’d laid down, and just the sight gave Peter vertigo. “YES!” he said. “We could play it in the castle! I call not being it-“

“I don’t want to,” Peter blurted, sheer terror running down his spine.

Sirius and James both looked down at him like excuse me? Sirius made a face and said, “It’s hide-and-seek. Of course you want to!”

“I don’t,” Peter repeated. He sat up, almost slipped on the grass, and stared down at the wildflowers instead of his friends’ faces.

James sounded a bit worried, a bit impatient when he asked, “Why wouldn’t you? Hide-and-seek isn’t complicated at all.”

The way he said that so matter-of-factly made Peter feel so horrible. ‘Isn’t complicated’. ‘Dumb, dumb, dumb’.

Sirius snickered and leaned over Peter to whisper something to James. Peter caught the word stupid.

“I’m not stupid,” he said quietly.

Sirius paused. James looked very conflicted.

Sirius slowly pulled back and looked at Peter with an offended face. “What was that, mate?”

Peter refused to look directly at them. He stared at the pink wildflowers scattered around him and whispered, "I’m not stupid, Sirius.”

Because Remus had told him- don’t let people say you’re stupid. And Sirius had been saying that… or hinting at it… for six months now.

Sirius let out a laugh, and that made it much, much worse. “I never said you were stupid,” he said. “You must’ve heard me wrong. Of course you did.”

That. That right there just made his opinion all the more obvious. Peter took a deep breath and looked up, looked at James’s confused face and Sirius’s stubborn one. “I’m tired of you telling me I’m dumb,” he said, feeling his heart all too loud in his chest.

Sirius threw his hands up. “I never called you dumb-“

“Yes you have!” Peter burst out, making both of his friends flinch back. “All the time, every time I get a bad grade! Every time I say anything, you- you make fun of me!”

“To be fair, Sirius makes fun of everyone-“ James started, but Sirius cut him off. “I’m not apologizing for saying things that are true!” he said angrily, glaring Peter down.

Peter’s fist clenched, and he grabbed a fistful of flowers to ground himself. “Stop it. Stop making me feel horrible-“

“I’m not MAKING you feel anything!”

Peter hated arguments; he was starting to get anxious already. “Yes you are,” he said weakly, but Sirius was off on a tangent now.

“You do it all to yourself!” he ground out at Peter, grey eyes boring into him. “You make crap grades, you never get anything, you’re slow, you barely talk, you stutter all the time, you-“

And then Peter punched him. Right in the face, with a fistful of pink wildflowers.

He heard James’s surprised shout before Sirius was lunging at him and pinning him to the ground. Sirius slapped at Peter’s face and Peter tried to shove him off, fist adorned with flowers swinging wildly. Sirius had a bloody nose now, and Peter was getting a bunch of scratches from Sirius’s nails. Sirius clawed at his arms, and Peter twisted his hand away-

And then James’s hands grabbed Sirius roughly around the waist, pulling him off of Peter with a ferocity Peter had never seen. “Stop!” he said, but it was to Sirius, not Peter. “You’re going to hurt him!”

Because Peter was weak and he was pointless and he was stupid-

Peter lunged at both of them.

And he got beat up.

The visit to Madame Pomphrey’s was a nightmare, especially coming up with a decent excuse. They eventually decided that they’d been climbing a tree and a bunch of bees attacked them. So now there was a group of teachers scouting the landscape for bees to exterminate, but they had bigger problems at hand.

Remus visited them after summer, but he walked right past James and Sirius to get to Peter. Peter hated how that worked. He hated that James always took Sirius’s side and Remus took Peter’s. He hated power dynamics, probably because he never understood them. (Stupid stupid stupid-)

“Hi,” Remus said, sitting in the chair next to Peter’s bed. “You don’t look so great.”

“Thanks,” Peter said, and Remus giggled. “I did get into a fight, so I probably don’t look-“

“Why’d they fight you?” Remus interrupted, eyes darting in James and Sirius’s direction.

“I never told you they did,” Peter noted.

Remus shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard to put the pieces together.”

If it was Peter, he probably never would’ve. “Sirius kept saying things,” he said.

“About you being stupid?”

How did he keep guessing those things? “Yeah,” Peter said sullenly, glaring down at his bedsheet.

He expected Remus to say something about how Peter could at least hold his own- try to cheer him up a little. But Remus didn’t say anything for awhile, and when he finally did respond all he said was, “I told you they were pricks. Way back in November.”

Peter remembered that. That was back when Peter still liked James and Sirius way more than Remus, although he’d never tell anyone that. “Why are we friends with them, then?” he asked, hating how his voice cracked a little. “If they’re pricks?”

Remus was silent for awhile at that too. James and Sirius were laughing across the room, like nothing had happened. The next day, they probably would act like nothing had happened, right to Peter’s face.

“Because they’re brilliant,” Remus said thoughtfully. “Sometimes.”

Sirius Black

“We have a DADA test today,” Remus said offhandedly at breakfast a week later.

Sirius spit out his pumpkin juice.

“GROSS!” James groaned, smacking Sirius in the shoulder. “What was that for?”

“TEST!” Sirius gasped in horror. “TODAY!”

“That’s the general gist, yes,” Remus said properly. “Pass the food that doesn’t have Sirius germs, Pete.”

Peter passed the untouched eggs, and Sirius noticed that his hands were shaking. Peter getting beat-up had brought him back to September in personality. He barely said anything, and he avoided Sirius’s eyes like the plague. Probably afraid of Sirius beating him up again- which he should be, considering he’d punched Sirius in the face.

Sirius ignored all that and focused on the horrifying fact that there was a DADA TEST and he’d HAD NO IDEA. Now, Sirius Black was smart. But Sirius Black was also not turning in any homework, and therefore Sirius Black had no idea what they were learning in professor Elkins’s DADA/Knitting class. And if Sirius Black failed, Sirius Black was going to get murdered by his overbearing parents.

James waved a hand in front of Sirius’s face. “You good, mate?”

No. Sirius Black had just put his thoughts in the third person way too many times. “I don’t even know what we’re learning,” Sirius said in a hushed voice.

James’s brow crinkled. “Actually, neither do I.”

“Or me,” Peter stuttered.

“It’s nor I,” Remus corrected.

Sirius glared at him across the table. “So you know?”

Remus smiled acidly at him.

“I hate you,” Sirius muttered, before turning to James. “Okay, what do we do?”

James smiled unsurely. “Fail?”

Sirius couldn’t fail! His mum would fly to Hogwarts herself just to wring his neck!

James must’ve seen his face, because his brow crinkled more and he said, “Oh yeah, you can’t. We could skive.”

“I won’t let you,” Remus said, absolutely unhelpfully. “All of us have missed too many days.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sirius muttered.

“I said all of us. And skiving won’t solve the problem.”

Spoken like a true logical friend. As the illogical friend, Sirius spoke up, “We could stop it.”

“Stop… the test?” James asked. “What, would we get Elkins talking about her scarf or something?”

Sirius shuddered. Professor Elkins’s scarf was going to haunt all of them far past their time in Hogwarts. “No. We…” and then Sirius Black got a brilliant idea. “We’ll stop the CLASS!”

“By… getting her to talk about her scarf,” James said again.

Fair, but no. “We’ll… we’ll distract everyone,” Sirius said desperately, because he really did not want to fail this. “Peter could pretend to choke again-“

“Peter doesn’t have to do anything for you,” Remus said immediately, far too defensive. Prick.

“Well, then who?!” Sirius burst out (he REALLY didn’t want to fail this). “You?”

James’s eyes lit up, and he pushed his glasses up just like he always did when he got a stupid idea. “Remus could grow plants,” he said to himself.

Remus blinked. “Remus could what?”

“Remus could grow plants,” James said, louder. He looked at Sirius and grinned. “Remus could grow plants in the classroom! Magic plants, that grow fast and distract everyone! And professor Elkins will forget about the test!”

That wasn’t stupid, that was AWESOME! “Even better!” Sirius added, “The plants could destroy the tests!”

“YES!” James said gleefully, high-fiving him.

Remus had a spoonful of eggs halfway to his mouth. “Remus is doing no such thing,” he said.

Buzzkill.

“It’s either you growing plants or Peter choking,” Sirius reasoned.

Remus sighed a Remus Sigh. “I hate you,” he said matter-of-factly. “Both of you. Not you Peter, you’re doing great.”

“Thanks, Remus,” Peter said meekly.

“Does that mean you’ll do it?” James asked Remus excitedly.

Sirius saw Remus nod, and they got to work.

*

Professor Elkins walked in the class announcing, “We have a test today!” which wasn’t good news. Usually she’d walk in talking about her cat, or haircut, or ridiculous scarf. But today she was… driven.

Thankfully, Sirius had a plan.

“Now,” he breathed in Remus’s ear as Remus and Peter started edging towards their seats. Remus gave him a spectacular eyeroll that must’ve lasted eight seconds before he grabbed Peter and discreetly pushed a packet of seeds into his hands. (Remus had seeds in his pockets always, at all times, and Sirius knew not to question it.)

James gripped Sirius’s arm once they’d sat down. “She’s passing out the tests,” he said in horror. “Are they planting at all?”

“Remus said he needed time,” Sirius hissed.

“We don’t have time!” James whispered.

And they didn’t.

But they would, if they asked…

Sirius clapped James on the shoulder and said gravely, “Don’t hate me.”

“Why would I-“ James’s eyes grew wide. “Sirius, DON’T-“

“Professor!” Sirius called out, pushing James’s hand away from his mouth. “Tell us about your scarf! I keep forgetting exactly how you made it!”

The class groaned as one. Sirius felt some paper balls landing on the back of his head. Elkins’s warbly voice started talking and talking and talking, but it was worth it when Sirius started to see a small green vine snaking down the aisle. It was a start.

Sirius forced himself to nod and smile at the professor’s ramblings. James craned his neck to check on Remus and Peter and turned back to whisper, “Five more minutes.”

Sirius might die. This was torture, pure torture. What was the universe, really, but a brief distraction between the darkness that was their existence-

“A flower!” Marlene McKinnon cried, and chaos broke loose.

Remus could plant. In ten minutes, he’d found the cracks in the walls where plants could thrive and magicked them to grow fast. Peter had helped (Sirius begrudgingly admitted it), going around and opening curtains when students weren’t looking.

Now the classroom was a jungle. James and Sirius looked around in awe at the vines slithering across the floor and ceiling, flowers popping up everywhere in vibrant colors. James caught a rose before it grew up his chair and said, “Sirius. It actually worked.”

Remus’s voice behind them said, “You owe me at least a piece of chocolate.”

Sirius didn’t even try to joke about it, just grinned and jumped up in his seat.

The class was going wild. Students were leaping out of their seats both in horror and in elation, sometimes a combination of both. Snape was actually happy, watching Lily chase Marlene around with a lily flower screaming “DOUBLE LILY ATTACK!” And sure, pranks were never supposed to benefit Slytherins, but it was still awesome.

Sirius looked down on the grassy ground and saw James making grass angels. Sirius dropped down next to him and laughed.

Professor Elkins continued her scarf tale as the students went wild. She must’ve channeled her inner professor Binns.

“Hey, Remus!” Lily called, bounding up to them and ignoring James in her enthusiasm. “Can you make us those flower things you made? Y’know, on my birthday in January?”

Remus looked like a deer in headlights. Sirius saw him glance at Sirius and James and Peter before he nervously asked, “What?”

Lily smiled encouragingly and nudged his shoulder. “The flower crowns!” she said brightly.

Flower crowns. Sirius sat up and wondered if that was another Remus Quirk. Braiding hair and flower crowns. Huh.

Remus was turning red now, as Marlene and Mary caught up to Lily and crowded around him like ducklings. “Er… sure.”

“Flower crowns, flower crowns,” they all chanted, just in case anyone missed that an eleven-year-old boy was weaving flowers together.

Sirius didn’t know what to say about it. Remus looked like he’d been punched in the gut as he slowly moved to collect flowers off the desks, and clearly he was embarrassed. But… flower crowns. Ugh.

Peter was the first to speak up. He handed a bright yellow plant to Remus and said “I want mine with these.”

Remus looked confused. “You want…”

“I don’t know the term,” Peter stuttered, “But yeah.”

James sat up from his grass angel with random vines curling around him. “I want one!” he said happily. “Just make mine better than Lily’s!”

Lily widened her eyes and said, “I’m about to smother you with a vine.”

“I’d like to see you try-“ James started, and then he was shrieking and sprinting away as Lily chased him around the classroom, Marlene and Mary on her heels.

Sirius watched the chaos and was very proud of himself.

He felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see Remus holding up a carefully weaved bunch of blue and grey flowers in his hands. “I made you one,” he said with a small smile.

Sirius looked and saw that half the class wearing one too. Remus must’ve seen his hesitance, because he started pulling it away with a quiet, “I’ll give it to som-“

“I’ll have it-“ Sirius said at the same time, and he grabbed at it-

And it broke in half.

Remus stared for a bit at the remains of it, and then he stared at Sirius. Sirius was hoping he’d start laughing, but Remus looked more like he’d been kicked in the gut.

Shoot. “Remus, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s not even that,” Remus said, and now he was angry. “You… you beat Peter up and you haven't even tried to feel sorry. Literally fought him, Sirius-“

“He punched me first!” Sirius said defensively.

Remus threw the flowers on the ground and walked away. Oh well, Sirius thought, and he went to go talk to James.

Chapter Text

Remus Lupin

Remus was back to hating Sirius Black.

Who did he think he was, making fun of Peter when he knew Peter was deathly afraid of any sort of criticism? At least, Remus hoped Sirius knew about Peter’s fear, because if he didn’t than he was a lot more oblivious than Remus thought he was.

The full moon was coming up yet again. (How rude of it.) Remus’s internal clock had started to tick, and he woke up the morning of the twenty-third of May with a crick in his neck that wouldn’t go away and a pain deep in his bones.

“You look like an old lady,” Sirius had laughed when Remus waddled down to the Great Hall in two jumpers, three sweaters, and an embarrassing pink turtleneck.

Remus didn’t respond to that, and so Sirius refused to pass him the bacon for the entirety of breakfast. James and Peter were exchanging looks like again?

It was Saturday, and Remus was slowly facing the face that exams were in exactly two weeks. And in one week, he’d miss three days of studying because of his… condition. In other words, he was stressing.

“Remus!” James called as Remus finished his breakfast and started to leave the hall. “Where’re you going?”

“I’m meeting Lily and her friends!” Remus called back- because that was instant James Repellent.

The hidden judgement was apparent in James’s cheery “Bye, then!”

“Wait!” another voice called, and Remus had time to roll his eyes exactly five times before Sirius Black caught up with him. Sirius hit him in the shoulder (Remus hid a flinch) and said, “You didn’t wait!”

“That was intentional,” Remus muttered, brushing the spot Sirius had hit him at and trying to keep his gaze focused in front of him. Ignore the bully and they shall go away.

Sirius was very good at not going away. “Where are you meeting Lily?” he asked, bouncing along beside Remus at a pace far too energetic.

“The library,” Remus said, keeping the hope out of his voice. You HATE the library! Go away go away go away-

“Ugggggggh!” Sirius responded, but he did not indeed go away. He followed Remus up two flights of stairs in silence before adding, “You should play with us instead.”

Remus kept his eyes trained in front of him still. They made a sharp left- a shortcut Remus had discovered in their game of hide-and-seek- and Sirius gasped as they walked through a door and came out on the fourth floor. “I’m good, thanks,” Remus said crisply. “You can leave now. Don’t want to get library germs on you.”

That did it, and Sirius huffed a very exaggerated huff that lasted exactly fifteen seconds before he turned and stormed away. Yes, Remus was definitely back to hating Sirius Black.

*

Seeing Lily and Marlene and Mary was like a breath of fresh air. He approached with a shy smile on his face per usual, and they noticed him and whisper-shouted “REMUS!” per usual, and Madame Pince said “SHHHHHHHHHHH!” per usual. Remus ignored her and took his usual place at their usual table- next to Mary, Marlene and Lily in front of them.

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Mary said in a hushed voice, leaning over to whisper to him. “Lily’s been losing her mind.”

“Am not!” Lily whispered shrilly, furiously searching through a book at least the size of her head.

“SHHHHHHHHHH!” said Madame Pince.

“Are too!” Marlene squealed. “You’ve been obsessing over charms work for… how long now?”

“Twenty-two minutes,” Mary said solemnly. “She skipped breakfast and everything.”

“I need to get this charm right!” Lily snapped, not even looking to glare at her friends. “I can’t afford to fail this test!”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Remus said, basking in the way no one laughed at his ‘inclined’. He loved hanging out with people who weren’t James and Sirius sometimes. “None of us can. First year tests literally determine how you’re placed for the rest of your time here.”

“My cousin says they’re a breeze,” Marlene protested.

“Wrong!” Lily said wildly, turning a page so angrily that dust clouded and made Remus’s senses go crazy.

He forced himself to brush it off- deep breaths- and added, “What’re you stuck on?”

Marlene and Mary groaned as Lily enthusiastically shoved the book at his face, pointing frantically to at least twenty terms.

The next hour passed in a flurry of rapid note-taking and textbook-reading. Marlene and Mary made a series of bored comments as Lily and Remus obsessed over absolutely every subject in the history of Hogwarts.

Mary stood up abruptly after the hour, leaning over to put her hands on Lily’s shoulders. “Lily!” she said impatiently, shaking her. “You’re not even taking ancient runes!”

“But- but what if they come up on the bonus questions?” Lily whined.

“There’s no bonus questions,” Marlene groaned, standing as well and dragging Lily up by the arm. Remus watched as Mary and Marlene pulled Lily, kicking and whisper-screaming, out of the library. “BYE, REMUS!” they all chorused over Madame Pince’s SHHHHH!

So then Remus was left to his own obsessions, with no one to hold him back.

His parents had once sat Remus down and asked him, as delicately as parents can ask, what was wrong with him. Naturally Remus had a list- number one being that he’d been bitten by a werewolf at the ripe age of four- but Remus’s parents apparently had not been talking about that. They’d been talking about his… quirks. Meaning, how he became completely in love with plants, and books, and how he refused to become interested in anything unless it borderlined obsessive. Eventually they chalked it up to him being stuck in the house for so long. And he wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ by any means, so may as well make it more obvious.

So Remus had obsessions, and that was how he was still in the library, three hours later.

He didn’t realize someone was behind him until he heard a hissed, “Pst! Remus!”

Remus jumped nearly a foot and scrambled around in his chair, eyes darting onto the person- oh. It was Sirius.

“It’s you,” Remus said unenthusiastically, turning back around in his chair and resuming his work.

Sirius was undeterred. He grabbed a chair for himself and sat next to Remus, reading over his shoulder. “Whatcha reading?” he asked obnoxiously.

“SHHHHHH!” said Madame Pince.

“A library book,” Remus said shortly, because he refused to give Sirius the time of day right then. “Goodbye.”

“Remussssss,” Sirius whined, flopping his head onto the desk and splaying his arms out across all of Remus’s books. “You’ve been here ages! Come play with us!”

“I have to study for charms.”

“No you don’t!” Sirius said incredulously. “Your marks are good, almost as good as mine! And no one needs to study for four hours. You missed lunch!”

“I have to study,” Remus reiterated, training his eyes on the book in front of him. “Exams are in a week, and I’m not going to be-”

Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid!

“Not going?” Sirius said immediately. “Not going to be there? Are you disappearing again?”

“NO!” Remus yelped.

“SHHHHHHHHH!”

“Yeah, I know,” Sirius muttered to Madame Pince, turning his wide grey eyes onto Remus (who kept his firmly on the book). “Remusssss. What’d’you mean, ‘I’m not going to be’?”

“I mean,” Remus said frantically, making himself breathe, “I’m not going to do good. That’s all.”

“Liar!” Sirius accused dramatically, poking Remus’s arm and making him wince. “Liar, liar, pants on-“

“Would you get out?” Remus hissed, tearing his eyes off the book to glare at Sirius’s shocked ones. “I don’t want you here anyways!”

He’d done it again. Of course he had; snapped at someone he hadn’t meant to snap at. But Sirius had had it coming, ever since he started teasing Peter and pretending it wasn’t a big deal.

Sirius looked hurt, but he covered it up with a sigh. “Is this about the flower crown?” he asked. “Because I was going to wear it, I swear.”

The flower crown; another one of Remus’s obsessions as a kid. Another reason to call him abnormal. “It’s not about that,” Remus whispered, harsher than he’d intended (but at that point, it probably was a Freudian slip). “You’re being an arse to Peter.”

“I am not!” Sirius defended, having the nerve to sound offended. “Peter punched me first!”

“But you’ve been teasing him for ages!” Remus countered, looking back to his book without really reading. “And now he barely talks anymore, because of you and James beating him-“

“We didn’t beat him!” Sirius cried, and he poked Remus’s arm for apparently no reason other than to make Remus question his sanity. “It was self-defense!”

Remus didn’t have anything to say to that, so he just scoffed, “Well, you’ve been very rude.”

“Fine,” Sirius grumbled. “I’m sorry.” Remus felt another poke to his arm.

Ugh. “This is serious,” Remus blurted before he knew what he was saying.

Sirius’s face lit up, and he poked Remus’s shoulder again. “No, I’m Siri-“

“For Crowley’s sake,” Remus swore under his breath, scraping his chair back and standing up. He ignored Sirius’s cackling and strode purposefully to the ‘magical pronunciations’ section of the library and pulled the heaviest book off the shelf. He remembered reading this as a kid, over and over in another obsession. That was going to come in handy.

Sirius coughed when the dusty book was plopped in front of him. He reached for it, but Remus snatched it open before he could and flipped through the moldy pages.

“This is… important,” he finished. “Significant. Consequential. Momentous. Key. Grave.”

“Are you really-“

“Am I honestly? Am I actually?” Remus flipped a few more pages and bitterly added, “This is dire, Sirius.”

Sirius pursed his lips- good, Remus had finally found something that annoyed him. “You’re not actually going to keep doing that?”

“I earnestly am,” Remus said, smiling thinly. “Until you apologize to Peter.”

“Ughhhhhh,” Sirius said, putting his face in his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“To Peter,” Remus corrected, clutching the dictionary to his chest. His new best friend.

“FINE!” Sirius exclaimed, ignoring Madame Pince’s SHHHHHHHHing. “I’ll apologize later. Better?”

“I’m glad you understand how urgent and vital the situation is,” Remus said with a poker-face.

Sirius poked him in the arm again. “You got me,” he complained. “NOW can you come play outside with us?”

Remus considered it. It was a very short consideration. “No. You’re still annoying me.”

“Come ON!” Sirius almost groaned, hitting his forehead on the table rather concerningly. He raised his head to do it again and Remus shoved a book there before he could give himself a concussion. “James won’t do anything without the four of us! And you’ve been here for…”

Remus checked his mental clock (maybe it was another obsession thing, maybe a werewolf thing, maybe a Remus thing). “Five hours now.”

“Exactly! Take a break! Have fun for once!”

“I can have fun after our charms test is over,” Remus told him sternly, setting the dictionary down and turning his attention back to his textbook.

Sirius’s hand slapped the charms book out of his hand, making it slide across the table. “All work and no play makes Remus a dull boy,” he drones. “And that’s bad because he’s plenty dull already- OI!”

And that last part was because Remus had grabbed the dictionary and hit him in the forehead with it, concussions be darned. “I hate you so much,” Remus muttered, swinging the book at Sirius’s shoulders.

“I take it back!” Sirius yapped. “You’re not dull! You’re interesting! Hilarious! Stop hitting me with a book!”

“OUT, YOU TWO!” cried Madame Pince, and then they were both being chased out by books. Remus and Sirius chased each other to safety and Remus barely remembered to take the dictionary with him.

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus. Remus hit him with the dictionary one last time before he let Sirius lead him to James and Peter.

Peter Pettigrew

The twenty-eighth of May arrived with Remus sick and Sirius having another nightmare.

Peter was starting to get worried. (About Sirius and Remus, that is. Peter worried generally about everything, all the time.) Sirius’s nightmares were getting worse and worse as the end of the school year approached, and Remus was still disappearing randomly on them.

“I don’t need help,” Sirius croaked angrily at Peter, rubbing a hand over his tear-stained face and glaring.

Peter scuttled back over to his bed sheepishly. Dawn was approaching, and it was Sunday. Usually James would be waking them up irritatingly early so they could play a game of Quidditch. Not Sirius. Sirius was known for sleeping, until the nightmares.

Speaking of, James took that moment to pull back his curtains and say brightly, “GOOD MORNING!”

“Shut up,” Remus grumbled, followed by a wonderful sound of retching. The bathroom door slammed shut.

“This is a cheery bunch we’ve got here!” James said- there was no other way to say it- perkily. “What’s wrong?”

Sirius stalked back to his own bed and slammed the covers shut. “Nothing.”

James’s face fell slightly, because when Sirius said nothing was wrong he was definitely lying. He approached Sirius’s bed with light footsteps and asked, “Sirius, d’you wanna talk abou-“

“No!”

James opened his mouth to protest and Remus’s faint voice called from the bathroom, “You’re hurting my ears! Shut up!”

Peter wondered how Remus could hear them, all the way from the bathroom with the door shut. Now he knew why Sirius and James wanted so badly to figure out where Remus was disappearing to.

James shot a look at Peter like help. Peter shifted awkwardly and stammered, “What do you need, Siriu-“

“Leave me alone, Pettigrew!” Sirius’s muffled voice yelled from inside his curtains.

Peter retreated just as fast as he had the first time. His brief period of standing up to Sirius was very much over, and he had the bruises to prove it. (Well not really; Madame Pomphrey had healed them. But it was the principle of the matter.) Sirius was just as scary to Peter as he’d been the first day of school, and Peter was back to the scared, stuttering mess who ruined every word he said. Of course.

James tapped on Sirius’s bedpost awkwardly and said “There’s got to be something we can do, mate.”

Sirius was silent for several moments. Long enough for Remus to shuffle out of the bathroom with a sickly looking face and a purple bathrobe twice the size of him. Finally Sirius decided on, “I want to be left alone.”

“Spiffing,” Remus said immediately, turning on his heel and shuffling out of the room. “I’m going to the infirmary.”

“What about missing classes like usual?” Peter blurted shrilly, because he didn’t want to be left with James and Sirius!

“It’s a Sunday.”

Oh. Right.

“And there goes Remus,” James sighed. Peter’s heart plummeted. “Sirius, you don’t really want-“

“Yes I do. I want you and Peter to go away. Play Quidditch or something like you always want to do.”

Peter could tell James didn’t like the emphasis on ‘you want’. “But Pete doesn’t know how to play!” he said indignantly. Fair.

Peter’s mind raced about as fast as it could- which was nothing to write home about, but was functional. If Remus was gone, James was still good to be around, better than Sirius. Any way to get away from Sirius, without making him mad, while pleasing James…

“I can watch!” Peter said- squeaked, let’s be honest. “I can… y’know, cheer you on and stuff!”

James looked conflicted. On the one hand, his best mate was hurting. On the other hand… he would get cheered on. “Okay.”

“Good,” Sirius said, sounding rudely relieved. “Now get out.”

Peter and James hastily threw on decent clothes and headed out to the Quidditch pitch. Peter could’ve sworn he heard Sirius sniffling as they left.

*

“And this!” James called flamboyantly, doing a complicated thing where he turned a bunch of times in midair and didn’t throw up, “Is called a barrel roll!”

“OOOOOOOO!” Peter cheered helpfully.

James grinned like I know right. “And this is called a double helix!” he yelled. More complex moves that Peter didn’t understand. Peter and Quidditch didn’t get along, much like Remus and the great outdoors (or Remus with Quidditch, but Peter liked to think that being bad at Quidditch was Peter's thing, not Remus’s).

“AHHHHHHHHHH,” Peter said in awe, giving up on trying to process the moves. Maybe he’d just ooh and aah at random moments.

“And THIS!” James’s voice said, “Is a spiral!”

Complicated moves. It looked rather like doing yoga on a stick. Peter clapped a little with his ahhhhh, because it must’ve taken bravery to expose your air-yoga habits to other people. He giggled (he was rather clever sometimes!).

“And this!” James yelled, “Is a- GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

“Ahhhhhhh,” Peter said, clapping. Then he blinked, because James was barreling right towards him with eyes wide and mouth splayed out as the air force hit him.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Peter screeched, in a much more pronounced tone as he did his own special version of a barrel roll out of the way. He watched as James flew right past him, ruffling the hairs on his head, and hit the thing Peter had been resting on.

A tree.

James managed to turn midair, eyes widened with horror, into the most swiftly performed barrel roll the world had ever seen. He managed not to smash his face in that way, but all of the pressure went right onto his right leg.

Peter yelped embarrassingly high-pitched as James crumpled to the grassy ground in a heap of bloody limbs. “Oh dear,” he said shakily. “That’s not good.”

“You think?” James wheezed from under his pile of Bloody Limbs. Which meant he was at least alive.

Peter heard snickering from behind him, about where James had been when he’d started to malfunction. Suspicious. He prayed James wouldn’t die and slowly spun around to squint off at a figure in the distance. It was too far to really tell, but you couldn’t mistake that blond hair-

And suddenly Peter was furious.

“Esteban!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, racing towards the now startled figure who DEFINITELY had a wand in his hand. “You could’ve killed him!”

Esteban spread his arms like he wanted a hug, getting closer and closer as Peter’s vision got redder and redder. “I wouldn’t have killed him,” he said lazily. “Just wanted to teach him a lesson, since that gangly one… Remus, right?... wasn’t here- WOAH!”

And he’d said woah because Peter was close enough to lunge at him, and he didn’t go for a hug. He swung at Esteban’s face, but Esteban wasn’t the same age as Sirius, nor as arrogant as Sirius (barely). Esteban had him by the shoulders in seconds, throwing him to the ground. The wind was knocked out of him and Esteban leaned over him, smug.

“You really need dueling lessons,” he said cockily. “I couldn’t have punched James into the tree, could I have? I’m telling you, Peter, if we harnessed your magi-“

“Leave us alone!” Peter wheezed, clutching at his stomach rather pathetically on the ground. “I mean it, Esteban. You didn’t know where the broom was going!”

“That was the fun of it!” Esteban said cheerily. He knelt down next to Peter, so Peter could see a close-up of his cocky face, smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. “You could understand,” he said, barely audible. “I heard from Bella that your friends… what was it? Beat you up? Punched you? Belittled you? And here you are defending them?”

Peter’s face turned bright red, because Esteban wasn’t allowed to make sense. “Shut up,” was all he mustered.

Esteban rolled his icy blue eyes and held his hands in surrender. “Fine. I’m just saying… don’t let people force you into liking them. At least I’m giving you a choice.”

By hexing one of my best mates into a tree? Peter wanted to say, but Esteban was already gone before the words arranged themselves correctly. Peter pushed himself off the ground and suddenly remembered that ‘Oh yeah, I have a possibly-dead friend waiting for me!’ and sprinted back towards the field.

James was undeniably alive, but not in good shape. He’d stupidly sat up, and blood was coating the grass around him. His leg didn’t look so great.

Peter huffed as he finally got back (that was his exercise for the next few weeks) and held out a hand. James weakly took it, and Peter gently pulled him up-

James screamed. Not a manly scream, either.

“Are you alright?” Peter asked fearfully, hoping James hadn’t up and died. He looked anxiously at James’s clammy face and added, “Please be alright-“

“What does it look like?!” James shrieked, standing on his left leg and blinking tears out of his eyes. “I think I might be dying!”

Peter did not like that thought. Not at all.

He forced himself to search for that Gryffindor courage that he was supposed to have; that he had when he confronted Esteban, and then he looped an arm around James’s shoulders and said, “Let’s go to Pomphrey.”

“DUH,” James said, about three octaves higher than usual.

It took a lot of grunting, cursing, and tears (from both of them). James had to take five minute breaks after each set of stairs, which sucked because there were a LOT of stairs. There weren’t any teachers to help because it was too early for anyone to be sentient, but Peter somehow managed to drag James up two flights of stairs to the hospital wing.

Then he noticed James’s face was turning sheet white. That wasn’t a good thing, he didn’t think.

“James,” he said, and he was surprised to find sternness in his own voice. “James. Look in front of you, yeah?”

James’s eyes remained unfocused, so Peter reached with his free hand and flicked his forehead. James yelped and snapped his gaze back to Peter.

“Eyes ahead,” Peter said, in possibly the bossiest way he’d ever said anything. “We’re almost there. You’re fine. Breathe.”

James did not look like he was breathing, which wasn’t a good thing either. Peter flicked his nose- because that was his brand of comfort at that point- and emphasized, “BREATHE. Just ten more steps, James.”

Then the door to the infirmary cracked open and Madame Pomphrey bustled out with a tray of potions in her hands. She saw Peter and James and for a second Peter thought she’d drop the potions, but she just set her face and said sharply, “What happened?”

Peter gratefully released James into her arms, and James let out a few yelps. “He crashed into a tree.”

“On a broom?” Madame Pomphrey made a ‘tsk’ noise under her breath. “I told Dumbledore to ban first years from playing.”

Peter let that slide. He stood awkwardly as she carried James inside the infirmary. He should probably go get Sirius…

James’s hand weakly caught the doorframe before Pomphrey could get in, and Madame Pomphrey let out a breath like she was making herself not drop him. James craned his neck to look pleadingly at Peter and slur, “Where’re you going?”

Peter offered a small smile. “To get Sirius. That’s who you- who you want, r-right?”

James gritted his teeth in pain and Pomphrey tapped her foot impatiently. “Sirius didn’t- ow,” he gasped, “Carry me across the school- ow-grounds without- dropping me. Sirius- ow- isn’t here- stay.”

And then he passed out.

Madame Pomphrey seemed unaffected by James’s passing out or Peter’s horror. “Dramatic,” she muttered. “He didn’t lose that much blood. Must be his first time breaking his leg.”

“He broke his leg?” Peter asked in terror. “Can you fix it?”

“Has no one ever had a broken leg before?” Madame Pomphrey wondered incredulously, prying James’s hand off the doorframe and bringing them both inside. “Obviously I can fix it. He’ll be fine.”

Peter believed that. But he stayed by James’s side while Madame Pomphrey worked, and talked with Remus while he was bored. And he felt needed.

James wanted him to stay. That was nice.

Sirius Black

“He made you crash into a TREE?!” Sirius asked incredulously, gaping open-mouthed at James’s floppy leg.

James smiled proudly and wiggled his boneless leg. “Yeah! And Madame Pomphrey said she’d never seen so many bones broken in one leg! She has to regrow them!!”

“Coooooool,” Sirius said in awe, poking James’s foot. It felt like jello. Sirius thought that James should get his leg broken more often; this was fun.

“Does it hurt?” Peter asked timidly, sitting on James’s other side.

James puffed out his chest heroically. “Gryffindors don’t feel pain!”

“He shrieked like a girl when he took the Skele-gro,” Madame Pomphrey chirped from across the room.

“You’re under patient-healer confidentiality!” James said offendedly.

“I’m simply explaining the severity of your symptoms,” she countered naively.

Remus, who seemed a bit miffed at having to have a hospital bed next to James’s, looked up from the book he was reading and said, “If it’s any consolation, I nearly cried the first time I took a blood-replenishing potion.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. Another clue! “First time?”

Madame Pomphrey looked rather disappointed in Remus in general. “Haven’t you two been in here long enough?” she interrupted, bustling over to Sirius and Peter. “I do believe I let you stay for two hours, Mr. Pettigrew.”

“Let them stay!” James begged, clasping his hands together. “They’re my only company besides Remus, and Remus won’t talk ‘cause he’s reading some dumb book.”

“It’s called Pride and Prejudice,” Remus interjected helpfully.

“No one cares,” Sirius said, and Remus shot a not-very-nice finger at him.

Madame Pomphrey looked somewhat amused, but she still shook her head and started, “Out-“

“Remus!” said a voice that made James turn green and Sirius roll his eyes, and Lily Evans raced into the hospital wing, auburn hair flying over her shoulders as she rushed over to him. “Are you alright? Professor McGonagall told me you were ill.”

“I’m fine,” Remus said. Sirius scrutinized him from James’s bed and decided that he did indeed not look fine. He was super pale, and he had huge bags under his eyes. Sirius added to his mental Remus Notes.

James wrinkled his nose at Evans, and just that small movement alerted her of his presence. She turned to her right and said coldly, “Potter.”

“Aren’t you going to ask why I’m in a hospital bed?!” James asked in shock.

“Aren’t you going to stop wrinkling your nose like that, it looks silly. Anyways, so Remus…”

Sirius snickered and whispered to James, “She’s got a stick up-“

“OUT, you two!” Madame Pomphrey yelled suddenly, making Remus jump.

James raised his eyebrows at Peter and Sirius and mouthed cloak. In the dorm.

Perfect.

“You win,” Sirius sighed, hanging his head down and standing up. “C’mon, Pete. Back to the dorms with us.”

Madame Pomphrey narrowed her eyes, and Lily halted in her speech. “Sirius Black, following orders?” Lily asked suspiciously.

“Lily Evans, being a prick?” Sirius retorted. “Oh wait, that’s common-“

“JUST GET OUT!”

“Yes Madame Pomphrey!” Peter squeaked, dragging Sirius out by the robe sleeve.

As soon as they were in the corridors, Sirius turned excitedly to Peter and said, “You caught what James mouthed, right? About the cloak?”

Peter looked as though he was about to crack from the pressure of being smart, so Sirius spared him and said, “The invisibility cloak! It’s in James’s room! We can put it on and come back in the hospital wing!”

“Ohhhhhh,” Peter said, but Sirius didn’t have time for his revelation. He started racing towards the dorms, growing giddy at the idea of mischief. This was so much better than being a Slytherin!

By the time they got to the dorm (Peter held them up with all his huffing and puffing and ‘slow down, Sirius’), it was nearly dusk. Sirius draped the cloak over his and Peter’s shoulders and then they were off.

*

Sirius was not known for picking out when situations were ‘tense’. He’d been told so by family members and friends alike, especially Remus. Remus rather liked mentioning how dense Sirius was.

But even Sirius could understand how tense it was between him and Peter. Considering he’d teased Peter for weeks (which he was beginning to regret), and he’d fought Peter (although Peter struck first; Sirius wouldn’t bend on that), paired with the fact that they were stuck in a cloak about a foot away from each other? Yeah, okay. It was a bit tense.

Not to mention Peter wasn’t good company on the best of days, and this was most definitely not Peter’s best day.

“Do you think James’ll be okay?” he whispered nervously to Sirius for the umpteenth time.

“You suck,” Sirius said in response. Peter shrunk into himself and went quiet. Sirius was finding more and more ways to get him to shut up about James’s injury.

Sure, Sirius was mad at Esteban for what he’d done to Sirius’s best friend. But come on. There’s only so many times Sirius Black can show concern before he gets bored of it, and Sirius was most definitely getting bored. Peter didn’t seem to have that kind of limit.

Minutes passed by in tense silence. Peter nearly ran into Peeves, and Sirius had to pull him back by his collar, which got Peter to get even more withdrawn. Fantastic. Sirius got lost about five more times, but he wasn’t about to tell Peter that.

Finally, he saw the familiar mirror with the secret passage in it, and he knew they were on the right path. To the right should be the library, and if they kept moving past that they would get to the infirmary.

“Nearly there,” Sirius whispered to Peter, who flinched at his voice. Peter was no fun.

They rounded the familiar stone corridor leading to the infirmary, and…

And Bellatrix and Narcissa were there, very much over curfew.

Sirius made an embarrassing sort of noise, and Peter gripped his arm painfully hard. “Those are your cousins?” Peter breathed, barely audible.

“Unfortunately,” Sirius hissed back. “You’re not the only one with a bad extended family.”

Bellatrix and Narcissa showed no signs of recognizing them, but Sirius still remembered the last time he’d spoken to Bella, in February. When she’d clawed him violently off of Snape and gave him a bunch of slash marks on his arms for it. And told him he’d never amount to anything in the family…

Sirius almost wanted to rip off the cloak and scream at his cousin until his throat was hoarse, but there were two of them. And… Sirius was scared.

Gryffindors weren’t supposed to be scared. Merlin, Sirius should’ve been in Slytherin. At least then his cousins wouldn’t have turned against him.

He used to like his cousins. Used to play with them when their parents were out talking about politics or whatever grown-ups talk about. Used to taunt Regulus with them, just because toddler Regulus had such a temper.

He couldn’t pick out when they first started hating him. Probably when he got to the age that he liked Regulus over them, or maybe when they were teenagers and didn’t want to play with him anymore. Whatever the case, Sirius’s cousins most definitely didn’t like him anymore.

Case in point: they were talking about him right then, a few feet from his face.

Peter gripped Sirius’s arm tighter and Sirius finally tuned into Bellatrix’s words. “…wants us to escort him home from nine and three quarters.”

Narcissa groaned and tossed her sleek blonde hair over her shoulder. “Can’t we make Andromeda do it? She’s better with traitors-“

Sirius’s heart swelled with a bit of hope, and Bellatrix immediately squashed it (because that’s what family does). “We’re supposed to do it. Andromeda won’t be strict enough with him.” She crossed her arms and added, “Apparently he’s been on too loose a leash already.”

“Hanging out with that Potter kid,” Narcissa sneered. Sirius felt a rush of anger- 'that Potter Kid' currently had to regrow half his leg bones because of his cousins’ friends.

Bellatrix sighed and picked at her manicured nails (nails that Sirius now knew could be used easily as claws). “Let’s stop talking about him, please. He’s basically a mudblood at this point.”

Narcissa’s eyebrows raised. “There’s still hope that he marries into a good family.”

I’m ELEVEN! Sirius thought angrily.

“Blood traitors, the lot of them,” Narcissa scoffed, and Sirius got a little confused. Wasn’t she talking about her own family?

Bellatrix nodded, raking a hand through her dark curls. “Although Sirius isn’t much better.”

What?

Peter made a small ‘oh’ under his breath, and Sirius was mad that he’d got it before Sirius did. Sirius waited for him to explain it, but he was silent, waiting for Bella and Narcissa to say more.

“I don’t know why we have to look after him,” Narcissa added. “We’re not even his family.”

What?

“Esteban insisted,” Bellatrix said in an all-suffering tone. “Apparently his mum wants him escorted home and Esteban can’t stand to be around his own cousin. Especially after something he pulled today. Esteban said they had an argument, after that Potter kid hit a tree.”

“Idiot,” Narcissa snickered, and Sirius finally realized what was going on. “They’re talking about you!” he hissed to Peter.

Sadly, he hissed too loud. Sirius had always been told he was too loud.

Bellatrix’s eyes narrowed as she stared down the corridor, right through Sirius and Peter’s invisible forms. “Watch out,” she warned Narcissa, pulling out her wand and smirking. “I smell mudbloods-“

And Peter mewed. He mewed scarily accurately.

Narcissa froze, one hand tangled in her hair. “Is that Ms. Norris?” she whispered, lips barely moving.

Peter mewed again, and Sirius bit back a laugh as Bellatrix slowly put away her wand and cursed, several times too many. “Let’s go,” she muttered, grabbing Narcissa’s petrified form by the shoulders and steering them out of the room. “Lucious isn’t showing up anyways.”

Narcissa’s face fell, and Sirius’s lit up. So that’s why they were out of bounds. Trouble in paradise? It was the best gift Sirius could’ve been given.

From Peter.

Sirius shuffled Peter out of the way as Bellatrix and Narcissa tiptoed away, looking scared. Sirius wanted to tease them so bad, he bit his tongue.

Once they were safely gone, Sirius turned to Peter with a gaping mouth. “That was AMAZING, mate!” he said enthusiastically.

Peter was back to looking scared. “I- I just thought it would help,” he stuttered for some reason. “And it’s not a big deal anyways- especially since they’re taking me home instead of Esteban now-“

Sirius interrupted that by ruffling Peter’s hair, almost taking the cloak clean off them. Remembering his promise to Remus to apologize, he admitted, “You aren’t that stupid, Peter.”

It was the first time he’d said Peter’s name to his face, ironically. Peter’s eyebrows raised almost to his hairline and he wriggled out of Sirius’s hands. Sirius thought he was going to grovel his own apology and prepared himself to fight an eyeroll when Peter said, “And you’re not that annoying, Sirius.”

Oh. Oh. Peter could insult people?

Sirius liked this Peter!

Sirius laughed, not caring if anyone heard the empty corridor cackle, and then they were off again to the infirmary.

They were almost there when they got ANOTHER interruption. Sirius wondered if it was another person they hated- Esteban or Snape, perhaps, or maybe Lily was leaving the infirmary- but then two familiar shapes stumbled- stumbled?- out of the infirmary.

Remus and Madame Pomphrey.

Sirius motioned for Peter to get out of the way, and they ducked underneath a stone archway to watch as Remus limped down the corridor, ignoring Madame Pomphrey’s arm of support. “I’m fine,” he said, and his voice came out raspily.

Madame Pomphrey pursed her lips. “Of course you are,” she muttered. “Especially considering what night it is, huh?”

Remus turned paler and ducked out of her arm. He sniffed the air a few times and whispered, “Stop talking. I think… I think someone’s here.”

Sirius and Peter tried to stop breathing.

Madame Pomphrey looked around the corridor and shrugged. “I don’t see anyone,” she said. “If this is your way of getting me to stop talking about… it… you need only be honest.”

Remus looked around the corridor, slower than Pomphrey had. His eyes lingered on the archway where Sirius and Peter were, and he looked rather stumped. He took a step towards the corridor, and Sirius bit back a yelp as his foot gave out and Madame Pomphrey had to steady him. “I’m fine,” Remus said again, firmer that time. “I’m fine.”

It sounded like he was most definitely lying. Sirius and Peter exchanged a look under the cloak. Sirius wished he had his Remus Notes with him.

Once Remus and Madame Pomphrey were out of sight, Peter turned to Sirius and whispered “What-“

Sirius covered Peter’s mouth and hissed “Remus can hear good, remember?”

Peter’s eyes widened in recognition and he nodded, meekly. They waited until they couldn’t hear footsteps anymore and then Sirius quietly led Peter to the infirmary.

James was the only one in the infirmary wing, staring angrily at the wall with his arms crossed and his leg flopping idly. He perked up when Sirius yanked the cloak off him and Peter and said, “Thank goodness! Pomphrey just took Remus away and I thought I would die of boredom! I mean, Remus was barely talking as it was, but I forced him to talk about Dalton for a few hours-“

“Does Remus seem off to you?” Sirius interrupted, jumping next to James on the bed as Peter awkwardly perched on the bedside chair.

James looked hurt that he’d been interrupted, but Sirius put his lack of tact to work and ignored it. “He always seems off. Why?”

Sirius ignored that too, and went through his mental list of Remus notes. He hates being touched. He flinches at loud noises. He’s super pale. He disappears, usually when he gets sick. He has scars on his face. He barely ever goes outside.

“Especially when he talked about the blood-replenishing potion,” Peter chipped in, looking worried. “How many times has he taken that, even?”

Sirius remembered something at that. Blood.

Blood.

His mum used to make him read stupid textbooks on ‘dark creatures’, so Sirius could be prepared to know what was the ‘wrong sort’ to affiliate with. Like he’d ever meet a dark creature…

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was a dark creature in his dorm.

“Mate, you alright?” James asked, poking Sirius’s cheek in the most annoying way possible. “You just blanked out. You missed my story about Esteban!”

Sirius was in shock. “Remus took a blood-replenishing potion,” he whispered.

“Yeah?” Peter said.

James agreed. “Actually, I had to give him one in February. You know, when he had the whole breakdown and I went to Madame Pomphrey? She gave me a blood-replenishing potion-“

“Bloody hell,” Sirius muttered, because that just proved his theory more.

Peter gasped at the words. James snickered.

Sirius was shocked.

Remus had scars on his face from… going out in the sun! He was pale because he needed blood. Remus didn’t like touch because he didn’t want to take someone’s blood. Remus took blood-replenishing potions to get back his strength. He disappeared to get blood back… he got sick because he needed blood… he was never outside because he didn’t like bright lights… no, he was scared of bright lights… and he hid his smile to hide…

Fangs.

“Remus is a vampire,” Sirius whispered.

Peter fell off his chair.

“Pardon?” James asked weakly.

James Potter

James fully believed Sirius was off his rocker.

“You’re off your rocker,” he told Sirius, because James was nothing if not honest.

Sirius wasn’t even offended, enforcing the idea that his sanity had sent in its notice. “It all checks out,” he muttered, staring at James’s floppy leg without really looking. “He’s super pale. Vampires are super pale. He disappears every once and awhile- it could be to get more blood, so he doesn’t-“

“You’re being insane,” James told him bluntly.

Sirius retorted by poking James’s floppy leg. It didn’t hurt, but James still pouted and smacked him in the shoulder. Peter made a little ‘shh’ gesture and Sirius stuck his tongue out.

Sirius told James his crazy theory until twelve at night, when Peter had dozed off on James’s shoulder and James was trying not to fall asleep too. Sirius finished with a flourish and asked, “What do you think?”

James looked at him through bleary eyes and repeated, “You’re off your rocker. Get Pete off me, he’s gonna break another one of my limbs.”

Sirius managed to drag Peter off James’s shoulder. Peter was basically a dead weight when he was sleeping, except a dead weight would’ve been better because it wouldn’t have snored like a machine gun. Sirius carted Peter away from James and threw the cloak around them both, hissing “SHUT UP!” to Peter’s insistent snores. James watched them go and, when they were out of sight, finally let himself close his eyes.

But he couldn’t sleep, because Sirius’s theory was stuck firmly in his mind.

What if Remus was a vampire? There was no age restriction on vampires- Remus could’ve been bitten young. Maybe he really did need all the blood-replenishing potions and the time off, so he didn’t…

James shuddered.

Bite one of them?

That was silly, though. Remus didn’t bite. Remus barely even smiled without covering his mouth-

To hide fangs, Sirius had said.

It made sense, sickeningly so. James wondered if he really had been living with a vampire for nine months, almost ten. How horrible would that be?

But it didn’t make sense, because James had gotten out of it unscathed. All of them had gotten out unscathed.

But... but it would explain Remus’s irritability. James’s parents hadn’t told him much about vampires, but the local wizard kids he used to play with always told him scary stories about all sorts of mythical creatures. Pixies, vampires, werewolves, the like. They used to talk about vampires being irritable if they hadn’t had enough blood to replenish them. And it would explain why Remus had shut them out all the time at first.

Because he didn’t want to bite them on accident. He didn’t want his anger to take over.

But… but it didn’t make sense. Something about it just didn’t make sense.

James woke up the next morning with bags under his eyes, and a voice asked, “You alright?”

It was raspy and dry, and James bolted awake because that was Remus’s voice. Remus the Vampire.

“Morning, Remus!” James said shrilly, pinching his arm and hoping he sounded less like a three-year-old girl than he thought.

Remus was huddled under a million blankets, and he looked… terrible. There were bruises all over his confused face, and it made James feel horrible for being scared of him. Even if he was still scared. “What’s wrong?” Remus asked immediately, in that no-nonsense Remus voice that they’d all gotten used to.

Remus was a vampire. Remus’s no-nonsense voice was a vampire’s no-nonsense voice.

“I’m fine!” James said, very, very cheerily. Maybe if he pretended nothing was wrong, Remus wouldn’t notice.

Remus noticed. He sat up in bed with great difficulty, and James saw that his arm was bloody under a muggle plaster of some sort. “Merlin,” James said, fear forgotten. “What happened?”

Remus looked down at it, and his face got paler than usual. “Er… Madame Pomphrey took me to visit my parents last night,” he said, and all of the sudden his voice was as high-pitched as James’s. “And… I hadn’t been in the house in awhile… and the front step is always crooked… and I tripped and fell through.” He nodded, like he was convincing himself. “So Madame Pomphrey took me back, to get better healing.”

Remus was a terrible liar, but more importantly- Remus was lying.

James nodded and pretended like Remus’s explanation made any sense at all. Remus didn’t seem to want to talk after that, so James sat in silence and stared at the covers of his bed.

It didn’t make sense-

But it kinda did, in a way. Remus’s arm was bloody, and he had a bunch of injuries… but the day before he’d looked a whole lot paler. It looked like he already had a lot of blood-replenishing potion in him… or a lot of blood-

Remus had gone hunting the night before.

Remus. Remus Lupin. Hunting.

That must’ve been it. He’d gone out into the forbidden forest and killed some wild animals, drinking their blood- it almost made James throw up at the thought.

“Are you sure you’re alright, James?” Remus asked faintly.

James was, physically, alright. But mentally he was now on fire and so he quickly slid off his bed, in his stupid nightgown, and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Madame Pomphrey asked briskly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. James didn’t have time for her, so he just left anyways.

He had some work to do.

Chapter Text

Peter Pettigrew

Peter had bigger problems than Remus being a vampire. Namely, Bellatrix and Narcissa were transporting him to his mum’s house, because Esteban couldn’t be bothered to do it. Peter knew his mum didn’t like being out in public after his dad’s passing- put still. It was proper embarrassing to be escorted home by your cousin’s friends.

Esteban had showed up outside the Gryffindor tower on the last day of school, glaring daggers at Peter and his friends. Peter saw James slide a bit closer to Sirius, and Remus clench his fists, and he came close to hating his cousin right then.

Esteban was unbothered. “Cousin!” he said jovially, coming up to Peter and prodding his shoulder like he was trying to be friendly. Remus cursed several times under his breath, but he didn’t say anything.

James, undoubtedly the bravest out of all of them, waved a little. “Here to blast me into another tree?” he guessed.

Esteban smiled sunnily. “Silly boy! There isn’t a tree here! No, I came to tell my darling cousin that he’s going home with Bella and Narcissa after the train ride.”

Peter tried to look shocked. “Oh no.”

Sirius shot him a look that clearly said Peter was a disappointment in so many ways. Remus sighed.

Esteban just raised an eyebrow and said, “Good to know you’re taking it well. I would’ve thought you’d have groveled. Oh Esteban, please don’t leave me with the mean people! I won’t survive! They’ll claw me to death!”

“Yeah, they might,” Sirius warned under his breath.

Peter tried to pretend he hadn’t heard. “I can handle myself,” he told Esteban stoutly.

Esteban started laughing, which didn’t seem to be a good sign. He kept laughing until Remus burst out, “Can you PISS OFF?!” Esteban shot him a death glare and pushed past them all. Peter tried not to notice James and Sirius flinching at Remus’s words.

The train ride from Hogwarts was possibly the most awkward thing Peter had ever experienced. And that was saying something, because the Pettigrews were experts at making each situation as awkward as humanly possible. This must’ve been a record, especially along with the fact that it wasn’t Peter’s fault.

“Why’re you all so quiet?” Remus asked for the twentieth time, swiping his amber bangs out of his face and glaring at James and Sirius. They were crammed in the train’s small compartment, Sirius and James pressed on the bench as far from Remus as physically possible. Peter, figuring bitterly that of course he had to make the sacrifice, had plopped next to Remus and tried to pretend that everything was fine.

“We’re just tired!” James said, overly cheery. Sirius just squinted at Remus with suspicion that was not carefully hidden at all. Peter smiled nervously.

A hint of hurt flickered over Remus’s face, and Peter wondered if he should slap James upside the head (although he wouldn’t be nearly brave enough to). “You lot are never tired,” Remus accused. “You eat and breathe energy.” He chuckled to himself. “I mean, you literally eat and breathe energy because that’s what food and air is made of-“

James and Sirius exchanged a look that clearly showed they hadn’t attended a muggle science class in primary school. Peter was suddenly the second-smartest person in the room, and felt very proud of himself for this promotion.

Remus cut himself off once he saw James and Sirius’s looks. “Fine,” he huffed, leaning down and picking a book out from under his seat. It was at least as big as Peter’s head- which was big, because the Pettigrews were known for their gigantic faces. Remus sat back in his seat and heaved the book onto his lap with great difficulty, and angrily started to read. Remus Lupin, reading involuntarily.

Peter looked over at James and Sirius and mouthed, say something. Sirius raised his eyebrows and mouthed, what, about him being a vampire-

Remus snapped his head up and growled “Would you stop talking about me like I’m not right here?”

James widened his eyes. “Your hearing’s really good,” he observed, probably the first time he hadn’t sounded falsely cheery that whole ride.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Really? Hadn’t noticed. Now knock it off.”

Peter shied away from Remus- because if he really was a vampire, Peter wasn’t going to be around him when he was angry. James and Sirius exchanged another look.

The train came to a halt, and Peter’s worries caught up with him just as fast.

Bellatrix and Narcissa were waiting for him at the station, Bellatrix tapping her foot and Narcissa whispering something in the ear of a pale blonde sixteen-year-old with an icy looking sneer. Sirius turned pale the second he stepped off the station, and Remus asked, “You alright?”

Sirius stiffened and stepped away from Remus, almost knocking James over. “Fine,” he said shortly, and Peter wondered if his friends could be any more suspicious. “My parents are over there, though. And my cousins. It’s a whole family reunion.”

Remus made a little ‘oh’ noise. “So that’s why you’ve been so quiet.”

Sirius looked absolutely ecstatic to have a good excuse handed to him. Peter thought maybe his friends needed to learn how to act genuine in the slightest. “Yeah!” he exclaimed, smile spreading across his face. “That’s why!”

Bellatrix saw Peter and made a face, grabbing Narcissa’s elbow. They started to make their way over, and Sirius paled again. “Gotta run!” he said, and he’d knocked Peter and James over with a huge, childish hug before he pushed past them and off to his parents. Remus looked hurt again. Peter felt horrible.

James looked at Remus and Peter, awkwardness settling across his face. That was supposed to be Peter’s thing! “I’d better go, too,” he said, ruffling Peter’s hair and smiling nervously at Remus. Remus’s face completely fell. “Maybe we could meet over the summer, Pete!”

Pete. Not Remus.

Peter decided his friends were horrible at lying. Like, horrible.

“Okay,” he managed to squeak, and then James was gone.

Bellatrix and Narcissa were almost there, and Remus and Peter were the only ones left. Remus turned to Peter with a noticeable frown and asked, “What did I do?”

“What do you mean?” Peter asked, hoping to Merlin that he wasn’t sweating. Besides being a vampire? Not much…

“They’re mad at me,” Remus said, his voice cracking like a sad child on the last syllable. “Aren’t they?”

Peter gathered all his Gryffindor courage and patted Remus on the shoulder. Remus felt fragile, and he was shaking under all his jumpers. “I’m sure you didn’t do anything,” he said in what he hoped was a happy voice. “James and Sirius are pricks, remember? Brilliant pricks?”

Remus didn’t look convinced in the slightest, but he just nodded. “Okay,” he said meekly. “I’d better go.”

And then he’d turned on his heel and left. Peter could’ve sworn he was shivering, even though it was June.

Bellatrix’s crackly voice rang out in front of him. She smiled thinly and said, “You’re to make no noise, mhm? I’ll deposit you to your mum. You will be silent. I don’t want to be doing this, but Esteban says if he doesn’t help your blood-traitor family then he’ll be cut off from the family will.” She rolled her eyes, and Peter felt his face heat up. “Appeasing your family, can you imagine?”

“Leave him alone,” Narcissa drawled. “Let’s just leave already. I want to get back to-“

“Lucious,” Bellatrix interrupted with a groan. “Yeah, the whole of Britain knows, Cissy.” She offered Peter a hand, and Peter’s stomach churned- he hated apparating with a passion, and he was sure Esteban had told Bellatrix that. “You ready?”

Peter reluctantly took Bellatrix’s hand and he was pulled away from the hot rays of the sun on the station floors, and onto his mum’s front porch.

His mum was waiting anxiously at the door, which made Peter quickly let go of Bellatrix’s hand and run into her arms. He didn’t care if it seemed childish, and he didn’t care that Bellatrix was watching, and he didn’t care that his mum hadn’t wanted to pick him up at the station. He’d missed her all the same.

His mum laughed surprisingly and wrapped her arms around her, and Peter felt more comforted than he’d felt since his dad’s death. (Which was saying something, considering that was at the age of six…) “Thanks for taking him home…?” she said, looking inquiringly at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix’s face was like stone. “Miss Bellatrix Black. I’m Esteban’s companion.”

Very loosely, ‘companion’. Peter watched as Bellatrix apparated back- to get back to Narcissa and Lucious- and his mum peppered him with about three dozen questions all at once.

This summer was going to be a dull one without his three friends with him. Peter never used to have friends though, besides the playmates his mum would force him to be with while she gossiped with her friends. So he’d figure it out.

Sirius Black

The Black family was exactly what was expected of them.

They were cold, cruel, and sickeningly polite, just like the public thought they were. Sirius’s mother had greeted him on the station with an obviously fake hug, all stiff and distant, and pulled back to ask how his time at Hogwarts was. Sirius smiled like he was so happy to see her- public appearances, of course- and told her he had a blast. Her nails subtly dug into his arm, and she said out of the corner of her mouth to use proper language or she’d put him back at Durmstrang for good.

That shut Sirius up. He was pretty good at acting polite when he wanted to. It was just that Sirius Black never wanted to be polite, because he had been all his childhood. All his childhood ‘friends’ had been polite. His relationship with his father was polite. His public appearance was polite. Talking with Regulus was usually the only breath of fresh, non-polite air he got in his childhood, and meeting James had changed all of that.

Sirius didn’t want to be polite anymore.

But he did. He put a smiling face on and his mother kept a painful grip on his shoulders as she apparated them away.

The second they were at the Black Family Manor, she let go of him like he was a cockroach she’d been forced to dispose of. Her eyebrows raised as much as they could while her forehead was tight in a severe bun, and she pursed her lips to ask, “How was your last term?”

Sirius took a deep breath. I am a robot. I am a robot. I am a robot… “It was pleasant, mother,” he said, quite robotically. Good. “My marks were quite good.”

“Hm.” Walburga looked at him with a bit of disdain on her polished, wrinkled face. “Exam scores?”

“Top marks in everything,” Sirius said, feeling sick to his stomach as he said, “All except herbology.”

He waited with bated breath, but Walburga just laughed stiffly and nodded. “That’s a mudblood subject. I wouldn’t expect any better from my son.”

Whew.

Sirius already hated this- hated being on edge all the time, hated being so polite to his own parents. He hadn’t hugged them non-publicly since… what, age five? That was when the Black family was taught to grow up, and he was no exception.

Sirius hated his family sometimes.

Walburga had Kreacher take his trunk- Sirius made a face at Kreacher and Kreacher responded by dropping the trunk on Sirius’s foot before rustily ‘apologizing’- and snapped her fingers to have another house-elf escort Sirius to see his father. Walburga never saw his father in the daytime, because of ‘work’. That was how it was in the Black Family household. They were a family for public appearances.

Sirius’s father was waiting for him in his study, pouring over thousands of maps. Sirius didn’t know what his father’s work was, but he knew he was expected to take over one day. The thought didn’t excite him much. He didn’t know what his hobbies were, but it wasn’t whatever his parents were doing.

“Sirius!” Sirius’s father said, looking up with a polite smile on his face. Sirius relaxed, just a bit. He’d always liked his dad more than his mother. “How are you?”

“Good, father,” Sirius said robotically. His father crossed the room, shoving his maps into the arms of a nearby house-elf to give Sirius a formal pat on the back. Right. Of course.

Sirius hated that stupid house.

“How was Christmas Break?” his father asked, and Sirius could see a hint of remorse in his eyes. Sirius’s father was rarely the one to make decisions in the family, so Sirius really had no reason to blame him for Durmstrang. “I apologize for your mother sending you to the alternative school on short notice, but she thought it would be good for you.”

Sirius still had nightmares of that place, but he just put on another smile and said, “She was right. They helped me mind my manners.”

His father smiled proudly- proud of Sirius’s manners, not Sirius. “Perfect,” he said, and it was clear that that was the end of the conversation. He held out his hands, and the house-elf tripped over its feet to offer the maps back. “You ought to go up to your room now. Mother is expecting company.”

Ew. Mother’s company was always disturbing to say the least. Sirius and Regulus used to like spying on them-

Regulus.

“Where’s my brother?” Sirius asked suddenly.

His father turned back to him with a raised eyebrow, clenching a fist.

“Sir!” Sirius added quickly. He hated manners.

Sirius’s father relaxed and turned away again. “I believe he is in his room, and you are not permitted to see him.”

Sirius’s heart fell. “But-“

“You will see him next week,” his father interrupted. “Your mother wants to prepare him for her company tonight.”

“She-“ Sirius was so confused. “She’s taking him to see the company?” Walburga had never taken him to see the company…

Sirius’s father cleared his throat, and Sirius knew what that meant. It meant their time was over.

Sirius left. He hated his family.

A week of sheer boredom passed. Sirius compiled a list of letters to send to James and Peter, knowing full-well that Kreacher would read who it was addressed to before letting him send it, and that none of the letters would ever get delivered. Sirius intended to keep the letters in his trunk and show them to his friends next year.

That was such a long way away…

He worked on his Remus notes. He was almost certain that Remus was a vampire now, but there was still a question of Remus’s good hearing. Maybe that was what he used to hunt animals. But he couldn’t imagine Remus purposefully honing his hearing to use against animals. Remus didn’t like animals, but he wasn’t violent by nature.

Well. If he was a vampire, Sirius supposed he was.

Finally, a house-elf came up to Sirius’s room and told him he was allowed to see Regulus. Sirius nearly bounded out of his bed- he’d been so bored he’d considered bouncing out the window just to see what happened- and raced past the house-elf to Regulus’s room-

The first thing he saw was green.

Green everywhere. Green curtains, a green bedspread with silver toning. Dark brown furniture with a green desk chair, a green-and-silver rug… all the same color green as Slytherins were expected to wear.

Good to know mother had gotten rid of everything that brought Regulus joy. They were off to an excellent start.

Sirius walked around Regulus’s room, wondering where his brother was. He was at the age where he was small enough to hide, and Sirius wondered with a spark of joy if Regulus was trying to play hide in seek… maybe he was blending into his green décor…

Then someone cleared his throat behind Sirius, and Sirius turned around to find his ten-year-old brother in a suit.

Great. Mother had screwed up Regulus’s fashion choices, too.

“Reggie?” Sirius asked, the sound dying in his throat. Regulus looked like he was drowning in his huge suitcoat. It was green, of course.

Regulus smiled, and it looked so much like Walburga’s polite smile that Sirius flinched. “Hello, Sirius,” he said, and- and that was the robot voice. That was the voice Sirius used with his mother…

How long had Regulus been here on his own, without Sirius to protect him? Ten months?

And hadn’t the Durmstrang boys said that Regulus’s letter had talked about mother making him harness his magic early-

"Reggie,” Sirius repeated, desperation lacing his tone. He opened his arms and said, “Reg, it’s me. You don’t have to- you don’t have to act like mother anymore.”

“I’m not acting like anyone,” Regulus said, and polite concern edged at his voice. “Are you feeling alright?”

He brought his hand up to feel Sirius’s forehead. It was gloved.

What had happened to Sirius’s brother?

James Potter

The first month of summer had passed and James was very bored.

Sirius,

I’M BORED!!!!!!

I know you’re probably not getting any of my letters, but I don’t care. I’m writing anyways because there’s nothing else to do.

I’m an only child. You don’t know what it’s like cause you’ve never been an only child, but it SUCKS. There’s no one to play with. I’m sitting here right now and CHOOSING TO WRITE SOMETHING. BY HAND. It’s horrible. Things have gotten bad.

My parents are being very overbearing. They wanted to hear every single detail of every day of my life thus far, and I’m getting tired of it. They also want to make it clear that I shouldn’t be getting so many detentions, but dad was smiling while he said it so I think they were lying.

How’s your life? Your parents are horrible people and all, but you’re rich, right? So YOU probably have something to do at least. My parents are insisting on living ‘frugally’. Which just means we pretend we’re poor when we’re not. it’s very aggravating.

At least I get to play Quidditch. I can’t imagine what would happen if I couldn’t even do that. We have a big field outside our house, far from the muggle village, so me and some of the local boys are playing Quidditch games. It’s fun. Peter’s been over some, and we played some Quidditch. He’s REALLY BAD. I wish you could’ve been there so we could judge him. I felt mean doing it alone.

WRITE BACK!

-James

He received no reply, so he tried Peter the next week.

Peter,

I’m BORED! Summer is boring without people to play with! The village boys are okay, but you and Sirius and Remus are better. Well, I guess Remus is a vampire but still. I suppose I’ve realized vampires can be good company.

I’ve been playing a LOT of Quidditch, and I’m getting SO GOOD! I think I’m gonna make the team next year!!! Maybe I’ll even get to be a SEEKER! It’ll be so cool, and then I’ll get one step closer to playing for the OFFICIAL QUIDDITCH TEAM! Not Chudley Canons, though. They’re trash.

I want you and Sirius to come over. Maybe not Remus, until we can figure out just how deadly this vampire-thing is. But I’m so bored at this point that maybe inviting a vampire to my house isn’t the worst idea.

Come over soon! I’M BORED!

-James

He did get a letter back from Peter, and it was about as Peter-ish as expected.

Hi James!

My mum won’t let me come over to your house anymore! She thinks you’re a bad influence after last time when I came home and asked her for a Quidditch broom. Apparently Pettigrews aren’t very talented on brooms and giving me one would mean I’d die. At least that’s what she told me.

Sirius hasn’t responded to anything I’ve sent him, so I don’t think he’ll be able to come over either. I’m worried about him. I wonder if they sent him off to Durmstrang again, or if his cousins are torturing him or something.

James, do you REALLY think Remus is a vampire? I’m just wondering, because I’ve been writing him and he still sounds like Remus the Not-Vampire. I don’t want to stop writing him if it turns out he’s just Remus.

Also, how are we going to prove that he is one? And if we do, are we going to get him kicked out? I don’t want Remus kicked out. He helps me with my homework, and he’s really nice. I think maybe we could keep him anyways.

My mum wants me to go clean the dishes. She’s been getting on me about responsibility since my exam grades were really really bad. Ugh.

Bye!

-Peter

UGH!

So no one was coming over to James’s house, and James had nothing to do. The guys he played Quidditch with were okay, but they were all closer friends with each other than James and they didn’t want much to do with him.

James was so BORED!

He figured he might as well work on the Remus Vampire theory, especially because Peter had actually raised decent questions about it. What were they going to do if they could prove that Remus was a vampire? James didn’t want to stop being friends with Remus completely. He liked Remus, even if he was terrified of him at the moment!

James decided to keep his friends close, vampires closer, and wrote Remus a letter.

HIIIIIIIII REMUS!

I’m BORED! I’ve written this to Sirius and Peter and they won’t do anything about it- well, Sirius isn’t responding at all cause his family are slugs. But anyways. You’ll probably just tell me to read a book or something, but I’ll ask you anyways. Just know I am not reading a book. Reading goes against my nature and I will not stand against my moral compass.

I can’t wait for Quidditch tryouts next fall! I want to get a chaser position so bad! It’s gonna be so fun when I get in! I mean, if I get in. Whatever.

Are you gonna be going home as much as usual next year? You went home a lot last year. And you got sick a lot. And you were pretty pale… we were starting to wonder if you were like, a vampire or something. Haha.

-James

James hoped that wasn’t obvious.

Remus wrote back in very short sentences that showed he hadn’t forgiven James’s little bout of terror on the train station, when he’d ignored Remus for… an hour? Two? Oops. Maybe it wasn’t so good not to apologize for that.

Dear James,

Read a book. Your moral compass is pointing in the wrong direction. I know it’ll hurt to open a book, but it’s step one to rehabilitation. Somehow we’ll get you back to normal.

I know you’re excited for Quidditch. Quidditch is your only hobby. I hope you get in.

Yes, I’m going home as much as usual. I still get sick, and nothing is going to change that. You can’t change that, so please stop nosing around in my business.

I am not a vampire. Believe it or not, some people are just pale.

Sincerely, Remus.

Hm. He didn’t seem very happy.

James tried to read in between the lines of the very short, cold letter. First of all, James was not reading a book. He refused. Books were dumb.

He knew he was going to get on the Quidditch team, so that paragraph had been pointless.

As for the last one… Remus knew they were nosing around in his business, and he was getting mad at them for it. That meant he had something to hide! And saying he wasn’t a vampire… that was almost proof that he was!

But it wasn’t proof, though. James wondered how he was supposed to get proof. How could he prove that Remus was a vampire?

Vampires didn’t like garlic, he thought… maybe he could shove garlic in Remus’s face? But how would he get that much garlic?

What was something else vampires didn’t like?

Oh.

OH!

James was sprinting downstairs before he had time to even put down Remus’s letter. He flew down with Remus’s letter in one hand, riding the banister with the other hand, and landed in a heap in the bottom of the stairs, heart pounding. This was the most exciting thing he’d done all summer.

“DAD!” he called, bursting into his dad’s study.

Fleamont was working on his new design for hair products or whatever boring stuff his job wanted, but he swiveled in his chair to face James with a smile. “Something wrong?” he asked, seeing James was out of breath.

“I almost fell off the stairs,” James said breathlessly, grinning giddily.

Fleamont chuckled. “That sounds like you. What do you need?”

Perfect! James did need something!

“I need your talking mirror.”

Remus Lupin

Remus looked at himself in his cracked bathroom mirror and sighed. He’d gotten new scars after the July full moon, one on his forehead and one coming right down the bridge of his nose. They’d go away after a few months, but that gave time for his friends to notice.

They were suspicious enough already.

They’d been coming to close to his secret. They hadn’t guessed anywhere near werewolf, of course- that would be cause enough for Remus to go home and stay there. But they’d been overly curious about where he was going each month, why he was always missing classes, why he was pale, why he had good hearing. There was always something about Remus that wasn’t quite normal; just irregular enough for his friends to catch on.

Sometimes Remus hated being irregular. No, always Remus hated being irregular.

He hadn’t bothered writing to Sirius, because Sirius was at his horrible family’s mansion and even if he did respond, it would all be about Remus and his ‘weirdness’. Remus just hated it. He couldn’t even have friends without them suspecting something.

Wonderful. It was just wonderful.

And he’d tried writing James, but then James had asked him if he was a vampire. A vampire. With a little ‘haha’ after that accusation. Haha indeed. Remus had nearly had a panic attack when he’d gotten the letter.

Peter was sweet as usual in his letters, which was a moment of consistency in Remus’s growingly inconsistent life. But even he seemed like he was hiding something.

UGH.

Remus gave up staring pointlessly at his face and went downstairs to check on Dalton. Dalton was chewing on the carpet again, and Remus had to spray him with a spray-bottle of water ten times to get him off. Before Dalton could eat him, Remus put on the Beatles, shoving the album in the Lupin’s dinky record-player and setting the needle on the old record. Some screechy noise ensued before Here Comes the Sun started to play, faintly. Dalton stopped trying to kill Remus and finally retreated his vines back to his pot, dancing along with the song.

Remus smiled faintly. He didn’t care if he was weird for it. He liked his plants, and he liked reading, and he liked listening to the Beatles songs over and over and over. They were consistency, and Remus loved consistency.

Remus settled in his armchair and meticulously pulled out the same dog-eared book that he always read. It was Pride and Prejudice, and his parents used to hate how many times he’d quote it.

Remus loved it because he knew the way it ended.

He loved the feeling of the armchair; so familiar. He loved the quiet rustling of Dalton as it danced to Here Comes The Sun. He loved turning the pages of his same book and reading those same words.

So what if Remus loved repetition? That was just the way Remus’s brain worked.

He remembered his parents had taken him to a psychiatrist at age six. It must’ve cost a lot of money, but the psychiatrist was dumb as could be and suggested Remus was ‘mentally defective’. They didn’t have a name for Remus’ condition. They asked Remus a lot of questions about his parents. Remus hadn’t liked that. Then they gave him a coloring book and Remus had cried because it wasn’t his usual coloring book.

Then they never went to a muggle psychiatrist again, and Remus’s parents chalked his behavior to being Remus.

And that was fine, as long as Remus got his consistency.

*

September brought a feeling of inconsistency that Remus didn’t like. The Hogwarts Express loomed over him, and Remus tried to pull his scarf tighter around his shoulders. Not everything is changing. He was at Hogwarts just last year, wasn’t he? Everything would be fine.

“Are you cold, dear?” Remus’s mum asked.

Remus was, but he wasn’t going to say anything so not to worry her. That, at least, was consistent.

“No,” he told her. “Just tired.”

Remus’s dad gave him a hug, which was embarrassing until Remus’s mum joined in, and then it was so much worse. Remus groaned and pushed his parents off him, weakly.

He looked at the train door, and he didn’t feel as afraid.

“I’m going to be fine,” he said.

Chapter Text

Sirius Black

“You have everything?” Walburga asked, voice detached and completely unconcerned. Just what a mother should be.

Sirius forced back a sigh and stood up straighter before she could scold him. “Yes, mother.”

Walburga nodded once, crisply, and turned to Regulus to ask the same thing. Sirius took that opportunity to make a face at Regulus over Walburga’s shoulder. Regulus just looked away, primly answering all of Walburga’s questions in that perfect way that was now expected of him.

Sirius didn’t used to hate Regulus, but he hated him now.

His brother was eleven years old and already a complete puppet of his parents. In the year that Sirius was away, he’d become a saint in the Black family’s eyes. A saint to the Blacks meant a purebred-loving, muggle-hating Slytherin.

In other words, everything that Sirius had decided not to be when he’d been sorted into Gryffindor.

Walburga was finally satisfied with Regulus’s answers, and she hugged him stiffly around the shoulders before turning to do the same to Sirius. Sirius looked to see if Regulus was making a face at him over her shoulder, but his brother was just staring at the tile of the station.

Yep. Sirius hated his younger brother.

Walburga pulled away from Sirius and whispered harshly, “Behave yourself. I don’t want to send you away again this Christmas, but I will.”

Sirius flinched. He wasn’t going to Durmstrang again. He wouldn’t.

“Okay,” he said meekly. Sirius Black, being described as ‘meek’. Anyone who knew him would know something was wrong immediately.

Speaking of people who knew him, Bellatrix and Narcissa were sadly approaching them. Walburga smiled thinly at the two girls- the two prim, perfect Blacks- and ordered, “Watch after Sirius. And make sure Regulus doesn’t interact with the wrong sort.”

Notice how Sirius was already deemed hopeless in ‘interacting with wrong sorts’.

Bellatrix smiled back by way of agreement and sweetly said, “No harm will come to them.” Her hand curled around Regulus’s shoulder as she spoke. Sirius didn’t care, he didn’t.

Walburga apparated away, and Bellatrix found a grip on Sirius’s arm as well, painfully tight. “Esteban’s waiting for us in the train compartment,” she said briskly, pulling them both along effortlessly. Sirius rolled his eyes when she wasn’t looking, and Regulus side-eyed him.

Narcissa flipped her hair. Sirius expected her to say “I’m going to see Lucious”, considering the two of them were absolutely attached at the hip. But instead she just walked alongside them, scanning the train station with her grey eyes. Sirius wondered just how much trouble there was in paradise.

Bellatrix manhandled them onto the train, and Regulus’s eyes went wide as he took in the magical interior. Sirius remembered his first time seeing the train, with James, and he wondered if Regulus would find friends that made experiences fun and not just prim and proper. But it was fine if he didn’t, because Sirius hated him.

He scanned the compartments, looking for James, but he couldn’t find him. Ugh. Looks like he’d be stuck with the stuck-up Slytherins for the whole train ride.

“Even more mudbloods coming in this year,” Bellatrix noted to Narcissa. She looked at Regulus and said, “We’ll have to teach you who to look out for.”

Sirius glared at the ground. He still didn’t know what mudblood meant, but he knew he apparently talked to some. And he knew his family hated him for it.

Regulus looked at him with wide, curious grey eyes and whispered, “What’s a mudblood?”

Sirius didn’t want to talk to Regulus, and he especially didn’t want to say the wrong thing because Sirius Black was never wrong, so he just snapped “Why don’t you ask your family?”

Bellatrix’s manicured nails dug into his arm, and he winced. Regulus’s wide eyes left him to look at their surroundings.

Narcissa looked pained as she checked the compartments. She whispered to Bellatrix, “That’s Lucious-“

“He’s a git,” Bellatrix said in disgust. “Get over it, Cissy.”

“Yeah, Cissy,” Sirius said, and Bellatrix dug into his arm again. Ow.

Sirius’s eyes darted to a compartment to his right and he saw Remus sitting there, book in his hands but amber eyes focused on him. Sirius hadn’t yet looked away before Remus mouthed give him a minute.

Give who…?

Bellatrix said sharply, “None of that” and yanked Sirius away from Remus’s compartment. That was probably good, anyways. Remus was a vampire, after all. He was sure James had a bunch of theories on how to prove it now.

Oh. James.

Sirius didn’t want to give it away, so he just kept his eyes trained ahead as Bellatrix finally dragged them both into a compartment. “Sit,” she instructed firmly to them, and Sirius found himself wedged in between Esteban- ew- and Peter Pettigrew.

Peter’s hand found his now-bruised arm and he whispered, “Thank Merlin! I was so lonely-“

“Get off,” Sirius hissed, pulling his arm out of Peter’s grip and covering it with his hand. Ow.

Peter’s big blue eyes looked hurt. The train ride was off to a great start.

Regulus was pushed into a seat across from Sirius, and he kept trying to find Sirius’s eyes. Sirius looked away and found himself staring at Esteban. Wonderful.

Esteban sneered at him as Bellatrix and Narcissa sat across from them, and said quietly, “Have you spoken to that Potter kid since you left school? Or Lupin? Because your connections can’t save them now that I have Bella’s-“

Before Sirius could wonder what Bella’s connections were, there was a shouted cry of “FROGGIES, GO HITHER!” and at least fifty chocolate frogs were suddenly released into their compartment, leaping around and making Sirius’s cousins shriek and Esteban shriek even louder.

Regulus stared in wonder and caught one in his hand, and he asked Sirius, “Is it always like this-“

But Sirius was already grinning, being pulled away by a rough invisible hand and yanked out of the chocolate-smeared compartment. He saluted to Regulus and Peter and stumbled into the hall, turning to face the invisible hands and exclaiming, “Brilliant!”

James Potter’s head appeared, the invisibility cloak pooling around his shoulders. “I know!” he said excitedly. “Mum and dad gave me an allowance, and I just blew it all! It’s awesome!”

Then he was gone again, reaching into the compartment and pulling out a smiling Peter Pettigrew. Peter landed breathlessly next to Sirius and said, “Did Remus tip you off too?“

“’Course,” Sirius said- although he didn’t like the idea of Peter knowing what was going on before Sirius did. “What’s James doing now? He’s taking awhile-“

And then Regulus’s confused self was flung into Sirius, Sirius’s arms automatically steadying him around the shoulders. Regulus’s mouth was open as he pushed away from Sirius and surveyed the chaos of their former compartment, filled with Bellatrix and Narcissa and Esteban shooting random curses in hopes of getting the perpetrator. “What’s happening?” Regulus asked.

James’s invisible head appeared again and he said cheerily to Sirius, “This is your brother, right?”

Yeah, but Sirius didn’t want him there! Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but Bellatrix shot a stunning spell out into the corridor and James’s head became rather concerned looking. “Let’s go,” he said, and his invisible hand latched onto Sirius’s bruised arm. Sirius barely had time to grab onto Regulus out of habit, before they were all flying down the corridor again to go meet Remus.

James Potter

James didn’t want to brag, but he was brilliant.

That stunt with the chocolate frogs? He’d come up with it all by himself! He knew that Sirius and Peter were going to be stuck with their stupid Slytherin family members, and he knew Sirius’s brother was gonna be there too. And James had not wanted to be stuck alone with Remus the Vampire, so he’d come up with a genius plan!

Remus had bought the chocolate frogs, because Remus loved chocolate so much that it wasn’t suspicious for him to be asking for the school’s entire stock. James didn’t trust vampire Remus with the cloak, so he’d taken it upon himself to do the heroic deed of rescuing his friends, with fifty chocolate frogs squirming in his hands.

And it had gone brilliantly, except for the fact that Sirius’s brother was now staring at them all in confusion and Sirius was glaring at the floor.

But it was only a hitch in James’s brilliancy, so James turned to Sirius and asked, “What’s his name again?”

Sirius jerked his thumb in his brother’s direction and muttered, “Regulus.”

Regulus held out a prim hand for James to shake, and said, “Pleased to meet you.”

“Ew,” James said per way of response. “No fancy words here. Only Remus is allowed to do that.”

“I detest you,” Remus told them over his book.

“See?”

Regulus let go of his hand and went back to staring confusedly. Sirius went back to glaring at the floor. James was noticing a pattern in the Black family.

Peter turned to Remus and asked, “How was your summer?” He was the only one still convinced that Remus wasn’t a vampire, and so James had made him sit next to Remus as a test of wills.

Remus turned a page in his book and said, “Boring. I tended to Dalton, and I read Pride and Prejudice some fifty times. It was kind of nice, though.”

James didn’t know how that could be described as ‘nice’. He looked at Sirius like can you believe this guy but Sirius just glared at the ground.

Richard the owl made an ear-splitting screech from the trunks above him, declaring that he could be ignored no longer. Regulus jumped about a foot and squeaked “What was that?”

Sirius huffed a laugh at his brother’s fear. James was starting to regret bringing them both in the same compartment.

Remus took pity on Regulus- just another reason James was weirded out by him being a vampire; he had so much empathy- and finally shut his book. “It’s just James’s owl,” he assured. “He demands attention.”

“But don’t give him any,” Peter added. “Or he’ll try to eat you.”

Sirius nodded in confirmation, the most he’d acknowledged their conversation yet. James propped an elbow up on Sirius’s head because why not and dragged his legs up onto Peter’s lap. Peter giggled and pushed James’s legs onto Remus. James immediately put his legs back on the ground, and Remus frowned.

Regulus still looked very confused, and James couldn’t quite blame him. Then he quietly said, “Is that a chocolate frog?”

James looked at the ground where Regulus was pointing and saw that indeed, a chocolate frog was crawling in between the seats. It must’ve fallen out of James’s pocket. James left Sirius alone to pick it up and said, “It survived the horrendous attack! You know what this means, Sirius!”

Sirius glared at the ground.

“Okay, so Sirius doesn’t know what this means! Anyone else?”

Peter smiled nervously and offered, “Something with Severus-“

“Snivillous,” James corrected. “And yes.” He turned to Regulus and Remus and said, “Operation Make Snape’s Hair Greasier is a go!”

Sirius was literally no help. Remus had to drag him along the whole time, meticulously avoiding his arm for whatever reason. Sirius stayed as far from Regulus as possible, which sucked because Regulus was right next to James, spouting questions every other second.

“What’re we doing? Where’re we going? Who’s Snape? Are we gonna get in trouble? Mother won’t want me to get in trouble. Why’re you taking the chocolate frog-“

“Shut up, Regulus,” James said finally. “Sorry, Sirius. Couldn’t be helped.”

“By all means, shut him up,” Sirius grumbled. Remus flicked his forehead and scolded “Be polite.”

Peter was holding the chocolate frog delicately, James the cloak. “Where’s Sniv?” he asked James.

Like James would ever willingly know Snivillous’s location. “Probably with Lily,” he said, wrinkling his nose at the thought. Why was Lily friends with a nasty Slytherin anyways? “We’ll find him.”

Compartment after compartment passed. James made sure to shove the invisibility cloak over them all (a great feat that just proved his brilliancy) when they passed Bellatrix and Narcissa and Esteban again. (They didn’t look very happy, and they were also very gooey.)

Finally James came across a compartment with a shiny black-haired boy in it, and he smiled satisfactorily. “His hair’s like a beacon,” James told Regulus (training him for his time as a Gryffindor, of course). “It’s basically begging to get a frog in it.”

“Wait,” Regulus said, panic setting across his features. “We’re doing what?”

“Putting a chocolate frog in his hair,” James said impatiently. “Keep up.”

“Even I got that,” Peter admitted.

Regulus’s eyes went wide, and he turned to Sirius. “These are your friends?” he accused, too much disgust in his voice for James’s liking.

“Keep in mind that we rescued you,” James said offendedly. “Otherwise you’d still be stuck with your cousins-“

“I like my cousins!” Regulus said shrilly, backing away from James and almost bowling over Peter. “Mother’s going to be so angry if she finds out that I ran away!”

“Technically you didn’t run away,” Remus said soothingly, like he was calming a child from a temper-tantrum (which he kind of was). “James pulled you out. Just tell her that.”

“You know what my mother’s like,” Sirius said, staring at the ground. He finally looked up at Regulus, and James saw his lips curl in disdain. “She’ll be so disappointed in her perfect little boy-“

“Shut up!” Regulus said, tears pooling in his eyes. Oh no. He wasn’t supposed to be crying. James’s brilliant plan wasn’t going that well.

Regulus ignored Remus’s hand pointlessly reaching for him and looked at them all wildly, clenching his glove-clad hands. “You’re all traitors, all of you!”

“You don’t even know what that means,” Sirius scoffed.

“I don’t care! Leave me alone! I want to go home!”

“Regulus,” Remus said gently. James supposed he knew what it was like, considering Remus had had a meltdown of similar proportions last February. Regulus was shaking, looking like a toddler about to start sobbing, and Remus put a hand on his shoulder. Regulus flinched at the touch, and Remus asked, “D’you want me to walk you back? You can tell me what’s wrong, okay?”

Regulus took deep, controlled breaths. Sirius scowled at him over Remus’s shoulder and whispered, “Or you could run back to mummy-“

Regulus smacked Remus’s hand away and turned on his heel, storming down the corridor back to the chocolate-covered compartment. James watched him go, purely confused. Regulus’s brother didn’t seem to like Sirius at all, and Sirius seemed to hate him. James didn’t think that was what brothers were supposed to do.

James wondered if he could still salvage his brilliant plan. He turned to face Snivillous’s compartment and saw that Lily had opened the door and was staring at them in pure shock. “Remus?” she asked concernedly. “Who was that-“

And then James had freaked out and dumped the chocolate frog on the nearest target, which was indeed Lily’s hair. Lily shrieked and batted at her huge curls, widening her eyes at James and roaring “WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Remus groaned and pushed Peter aside to help her. “Lily, I swear I wasn’t involved-“

Snape barreled out of the corridor, greasy hair flying as he leapt in front of Lily and pulled out his wand. “I’ll kill you!” he yelled maniacally at all of them.

There was really only one response to that. James turned and ran, shouting, “It’s nice to see you again, Lion!” over his shoulder. He and his four friends ran back to their compartment, Peter laughing, James smug, Sirius relieved, and Remus annoyed. Basically back to normal.

Watch out, Hogwarts. They were officially back.

Remus Lupin

By the time the train rolled into Hogwarts territory, Remus was convinced his friends had no idea about him.

He’d been worried over the summer, what with Peter’s anxious letters and James’s casual ‘are you a vampire’ questions. But his friends seemed entirely normal now. Maybe it was the adrenaline of pulling off a successful prank- his friends always got high off that- or maybe Remus had just been paranoid from the start and his friends thought he was perfectly fine. Whatever it was, Remus wasn’t going to question it.

He still couldn’t help himself from gasping as he looked out the train’s windows to the Hogwarts grounds, seeing the castle splayed out on the rolling green foliage. “It’s amazing,” he breathed to himself.

Peter joined him at the window, mindlessly pressing his nose against the glass. “Wow,” he agreed.

Sirius laughed mockingly. He seemed a lot like himself now that Regulus wasn’t there. “You seem so surprised,” he observed amusedly. “We’ve been here a few times now, lads.”

“Doesn’t get any less amazing,” Remus said to himself. And it was true. Just the fact that Remus had the opportunity to be there, with his friends, in the castle just like all the normal kids- it was a miracle.

Peter nudged his shoulder and smiled at him, for no reason other than giddiness. Remus smiled back. He knew Peter was constantly surprised to find himself there as well (especially after his exam grades…) and it was nice to have a friend share his opinion.

James, on the other hand, was utterly unbothered by it all. The train shuddered to a stop and Remus watched him pull Sirius next to him and whisper something. Remus caught the words ‘mirror’ and ‘tonight’. Excitement pulsed through him- maybe they were planning on going to the fourth-floor mirror and exploring! That would be a good way to start off their year!

They weren’t first years anymore, so they rode in a carriage pulled by seemingly invisible horses. Peter gripped Remus’s arm the whole time, looking terrified. Remus wondered if it was the carriage itself scaring Peter, and tried not to tease him. James and Sirius were in their own world, talking about Sirius’s horrible summer and about Regulus- Sirius did not like his brother. There was no doubt. Remus felt kind of bad for Regulus; poor kid had looked scared to death nearly the whole time Remus had saw him. But he didn’t say anything.

“You alright, mate?” he finally asked when Peter’s grip on his arm became almost painful.

Peter looked at him with wide eyes and whispered, “Fine. Just don’t like the horses.”

“What? You don’t like that they’re invisible?”

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed with… confusion?... but then the carriage stopped and the doors slid open. Peter made Remus go first, and kept a close grip on his arm the whole time.

The inside of the palace was spectacular as ever. Remus looked around in awe, drinking it all in in case this was his last year there. The candle-lit Great Hall was beautiful, and there were dark storm clouds above them. Wow.

Peter finally got over his bout of terror, and he sat next to Remus as James and Sirius sat at their usual spots. Okay. That was normal. Remus took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was known for his paranoia. He was fine.

McGonagall placed the sorting hat on a stool in the center of the room, and Peter grinned. “I love the songs,” he said, in a stupid childish way that made Remus smile back. “They’re so funny.”

James whispered something to Sirius, and Sirius’s grey eyes lit up. “Brilliant,” he said to himself. James beamed.

“What is it?” Remus asked, and James and Sirius exchanged a look.

Nevermind. Nothing was normal. They were going to kick Remus out. Nothing was fine. Remus wasn’t paranoid-

Good Evening all of Hogwarts! The hat started to sing. Peter sat up eagerly.

Please do take a seat! I’ve seen some of these first years and you’re in for quite a treat!

Some of you might think that I’m a hat made for a head. But in some time you’ll find that I am something else instead.

“This isn’t a great song,” Sirius whispered to Remus. “It barely remembers to rhyme.”

“Cut the hat some slack,” Remus whispered back.

In just a few short minutes I’ll find out where you belong. Not sure what I mean? Well I’ll explain it in this song!

James snorted.

You might belong in Ravenclaw, where all the wise are found. Our Ravenclaws are clever and their minds are very sound.

Or maybe house of Hufflepuff is where you will succeed. They’re patient, kind and work quite hard to achieve their deed.

“Deed is a weird word,” James whispered.

“You’ve just never opened a dictionary,” Remus countered.

Perhaps in Slytherin, you’ll find you can prosper.

“Here we go,” James said to Sirius, and Remus instantly got suspicious.

These ambitious people try to-

“THESE NASTY, SLUGGY MUGGLE-HATERS HEX THE BOTTOM RUNGS!” Sirius and James shrieked. “BE CAREFUL IF YOU’RE SORTED THERE, WE’LL FILL YOUR ROOM WITH DUNG!”

The room was silent. James and Sirius high-fived each other.

It was clearly a hastily made rhyme with stupid words that Remus normally wouldn’t approve of (what were they even talking about, ‘rungs’?). But as it was, it was so unexpected and brilliant that the whole of Gryffindor burst into applause. James and Sirius were hurriedly patted on the back while some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs also started clapping. Remus and Peter slowly started clapping along with them, because… well, it was brilliant.

“Detention!” said professor McGonagall’s angry Scottish voice, but then the hat cleared its throat. The school turned quiet again.

Or perhaps, the hat started to sing, you’ll be in Gryffindor, where most house points are lost. Those troublemakers interrupt and do not care the cost.

James and Sirius saluted. The Gryffindors started clapping again. Remus rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide his smile.

They were back.

Peter Pettigrew

The sorting was fairly boring. Same old, same old- although Regulus Black had been put in Slytherin, which wasn’t surprising given his terrified outburst. Peter almost felt bad for him, but he felt worse for Sirius. Sirius’s face hadn’t left a scowl since Regulus had been sorted.

The only other notable first years were Gilderoy Lockheart, a Ravenclaw, who had this weird saunter that James and Sirius and Peter made fun of to no end… and a Delores Umbridge for Slytherin, who had a sickening smile on her face that made Sirius and James whisper about how she looked like she had fangs. Peter looked to Remus to see if he had a reaction, but Remus’s face was blank. He looked at Peter and said, “Alright?”

Peter nodded and averted his eyes. Remus wasn’t a vampire, and he didn’t have fangs.

Once Peter had eaten all he could and then had dessert (for his dessert stomach, of course), the four called it a night and headed upstairs. Which was impressive; Sirius and James calling it a night. But Peter knew they had something else planned, from the way that the two were exchanging glances and raised eyebrows every time they looked at Remus.

Peter forced himself not to worry about it. After all, his friends were… friends. They wouldn’t do anything bad to each other.

The Gryffindor tower was nearly empty when they got there, because people were still finishing up at the Great Hall. Peter liked the new freedom of not having to stay and wait for a prefect to direct them places. But at the same time, he feared James and Sirius had plenty of things they would do with that freedom, and that it would lead to plenty of detentions. They went up to their dorm and Remus immediately pulled out a giant book and settled in where he usually did, a desk next to his bed.

“You’re already studying?” Peter asked anxiously- because if Remus was already studying, than Peter was failing as they spoke.

Remus silently flipped the book up to show the cover- Pride and Prejudice. Peter didn’t know what that meant. Was it a new subject? He started to get worried until Sirius snorted and said, “Only you’d be reading a book on the first day back, Remus.”

Remus silently brought a hand off of his book and held up a certain finger. Sirius snickered to himself.

Peter smiled… and then James was raising his eyebrows at Sirius, and Sirius nodded quickly.

The two were sidling up to Remus before Peter could stop them. Sirius took a seat at the chair next to Remus, and James chose to forgo chairs entirely and perched on the desk itself. Remus looked on either side of him, cleared his throat, and kept reading.

Peter felt sick to his stomach. Something was about to happen.

Not wanting Remus to have a meltdown over whatever James and Sirius were going to do, Peter moved next to Remus and awkwardly hovered over him. He hadn’t really thought that out, and Remus’s eyes fluttered up to him as he said, “Why am I being surrounded?”

Sirius and James exchanged another nod over his head- which was creepy, by the way- and Peter just watched as James pulled something small and silvery out of his robe pocket. It was a mirror, and Peter wondered what it was for.

Then he remembered. Vampires weren’t supposed to have a reflection. Oh.

Oh.

Remus barely had time to turn a page before Sirius’s hands were grabbing his shoulders, pinning him against the chair like they were wrestling playfully but they weren’t. Peter winced as Remus yelped like he’d been slapped. “Sirius,” Remus said, forcing a smile into his voice, “Hilarious. How original. Now let me go-“

“Now!” Sirius said hurriedly to James. Remus’s brow furrowed in confusion as James shoved the mirror under his nose, inspecting. Peter waited with bated breath, hating how he actually was curious about the results.

Sirius looked at the mirror and his face fell. “Really?!” he groaned. “All that work for nothing?”

James pulled away the mirror and said glumly, “This is a magic mirror, too. It would know if he had spells protecting him.”

“Spells?” Remus said, now starting to panic in Sirius’s grasp. “What’re you on about?”

Peter couldn’t stand it anymore. His friend was in pain, and he hated that, so he couldn’t stop himself as he blurted “James and Sirius think you’re a vampire!”

Sirius’s grey eyes pierced Peter’s with a stare like I’m gonna kill you, but they couldn’t exactly make up anything else after pinning Remus down with a mirror. Sirius let go of Remus and James sighed, “Could’ve said it another way, Pete-“

“There wasn’t another way!” Peter said defensively at the same time as Remus shot up out of his seat and made the book fall to the floor with a thud. “I’m not a vampire!” he gasped, looking about to faint.

James looked immensely uncomfortable. He held the mirror out to Remus and said “Well we know that now, see? That’s why we were testing your reflection.”

Remus looked caged in; stuck. Peter recognized the look- sometimes Peter had that look on his face when he got a bad grade on a test or when he fought with one of his friends. Remus’s chest heaved as he sputtered, “T-there’s a mirror- on the fourth f-floor… we’ve gone there before-“

“Ohhhhhh,” James said bluntly, realization passing across his face. “We didn’t think of that. Sorry, mate.”

Peter held up his hands and said, “Remus, er… you wanna go for a walk-“

Remus kept shaking his head, hyperventilating. Peter could see the regret in his two friends’ eyes, and he watched in horror as they both made the same move. To put a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

Sirius’s hand was on Remus’s right, James’s on Remus’s left, and Remus flinched like he’d been burned. He was like a wild animal as he whispered, “Get away from me,” eyes darting between James and Sirius with horror.

Sirius smiled nervously and said, “At least we know you aren’t a vampire, right?”

And Remus lunged, lunged right for the mirror in James’s free hand, knocking it to the ground with a strangled cry. Peter leapt out of the way as the mirror shattered into millions of tiny pieces. The only parts still functioning were two jagged pieces in the center, showing Remus’s scattered reflection.

James turned bright red. “That was my dad’s!” he yelled, turning to Remus with a glare. “Why would you do that?!”

Remus was staring at his reflection, looking like he’d completely stopped breathing. Peter didn’t know what he was supposed to do to stop it. Sirius was frozen, staring at the mirrors on the ground.

Finally Remus let out a choked noise- sob?- and shoved himself away from James and Sirius’s hands. He stormed out of the dorm room, particles of the mirror stirring in his wake.

Peter most definitely did not want to stay with a conflicted Sirius and angry James, so he ran out after Remus. Sadly, Peter and running were not agreeing with each other after the huge feast he’d had, so he was left waddling anxiously after Remus’s spry form. Peter made it halfway down the staircase before he was panting.

Thankfully, Remus wasn’t the most healthy either. He had to lean on the bottom of the banister to catch his breath, and Peter flopped down next to him with a puff of exasperation. Peter hated exercise.

Remus was shaking. He didn’t try to run away again when he saw Peter; just lowered himself to the ground so he could sit. Peter did the same, except his was more of a controlled collapse.

“How long have they thought I was…” Remus started to ask. He couldn’t seem to get the words out of his mouth.

Peter thought back. “May?”

Remus let out another strangled cry and dropped his face into his hands. Peter didn’t know what to do, so he put a hand on Remus’s shoulder as tentatively as he could. He hoped Remus wouldn’t feel boxed in- especially because last time that happened, Remus had broken a mirror, and this time the only thing to break was Peter, and Peter didn’t like being broken much. “If it helps,” Peter said nervously, “I never thought you were a vampire.”

Remus laughed bitterly and leaned into Peter’s hand. Peter stared at the carpeted floor and added, “Just a little strange, that’s all.”

Another laugh. They stared at the carpet.

“Remus!” came James’s booming voice. Remus jumped and sat up fully, rubbing at his eyes. Peter prepared himself to be trampled as James and Sirius came bounding down the stairs, not out of breath at all. Lucky.

James dropped to the floor in front of Remus, his eyes big and earnest behind his huge glasses. “It’s alright that you broke the mirror,” he said, which Peter thought was the lamest apology ever. “Now it’s two mirrors, which is kinda cool.”

Sirius sat on Peter’s side and said, “Now you can keep one with you and talk to people with the other! That’s SO COOL!”

Remus rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Peter was worried he’d start crying.

James cleared his throat awkwardly and continued, “And I’m sorry. About, um, the vampire thing.”

“You could’ve asked me,” Remus mumbled, voice thick. “I could’ve told you I’m not.”

“But that’s the thing, Remus,” said Sirius, uncharacteristically quiet for Sirius. “You haven’t been telling us stuff. You’re hiding something.”

“I’m not!” Remus choked out, dropping his gaze back to the floor. Peter scooted closer to him. He hated seeing his friend sad.

“Okay!” James said hurriedly, putting his hands up. “Fine. We won’t do anything else. Alright?”

Sirius scowled.

“Alright?” James repeated, making eyes at Sirius like he’s gonna start crying.

“Alright,” huffed Sirius.

“Alright,” chorused Peter, even though he’d had absolutely nothing to do with the mirror stunt.

Remus slowly looked up again, with a bleary smile on his face. “Alright."

Chapter Text

James Potter

Okay, so maybe James had gone a bit too far with the mirror.

But what else was he supposed to do? There was clearly something going on with Remus, and he wouldn't tell them anything! James had really thought knowing Remus was a vampire would've done... something. Made him confess his wrongdoing, or get him kicked out of Hogwarts (although the idea of Hogwarts without Remus was weird). Something.

Seeing Remus with that terrified face, breaths hitching on their way out of him, looking about to sob- that made James realize that Remus couldn’t have been a vampire. He was too human.

Meaning James and Sirius had just bullied their human friend. Oops.

Still, Remus got over that fiasco quicker than James would’ve expected. The next morning brought a brighter dawn and a mollified group.

“Good morning!” James screeched, pulling back the curtains of Sirius’s bed to reveal Sirius’s middle finger thrust at him, pre-prepared. James always woke up Sirius first because Sirius took the longest and it woke James up to be put in life-threatening scenarios like that.

“I didn’t miss this,” Remus muttered when James finally managed to scream him out of bed. He put his hands over his ears and let out an exasperated, Remus-like sigh. “Honestly, James…”

Peter just kept sleeping, up until James grabbed his ankles and dragged him out of bed. Peter finally awoke then, with a piercing squeal and a violent kick to James’s stomach. Sirius doubled over in laughter and James from pain, and Remus helped Peter up with another, “Honestly.”

The things James had to suffer for his morning personality.

He’d always been a morning person, but first days were always different. There was something especially invigorating about putting on his Hogwarts uniform for the first time in three months; in not bothering to tie his tie and dodging Sirius’s (which Sirius was using as a weapon, per usual). It was a special type of day, and James loved it.

Sirius was almost draped over him and Peter on their way to breakfast, while Remus followed, unbothered. “I wanna go back to sleep,” Sirius whined, right in James’s ear.

“I’m gonna drop you,” James warned.

“Can you drop me on a bed? Or a table? Or just the floor is fine, I’ll sleep anywhere-“

James and Peter dropped him at the same time, and Sirius fell to the floor with a shriek. He did not in fact go to sleep, just popped back up with a murderous glare but wider eyes. Mission accomplished.

Their first class was DADA, just like normal. Despite James’s early wake-up call, Sirius’s lack of caffeine and Peter’s slowness had made them skip breakfast to get to class on time. Peter snagged a few pieces of toast, but they were all for him. Fair.

They took Remus’s secret passage that he’d somehow discovered on that first day of school last year, and they were nearing the DADA room when Remus’s eyes went wide and he said, “James, what was that rumor about the DADA professors at Hogwarts?”

Oooo, James remembered that one! “I heard there’s a curse on them!” he said, making Peter squeak and huddle closer to Remus. “Each DADA professor only lasts one year before disappearing.”

“I’d like to disappear,” Sirius muttered angstily, swiping at Peter’s toast. “Back to the dorm. So I can sleep.”

“So Elkins won’t be here?” Remus asked, seeming like he knew something James didn’t.

James considered. He hadn’t actually thought that myth was true. “Maybe,” he conceded. “She probably will be, though. Which is great for you, Peter- teacher’s pet.”

Sirius snickered. Peter pouted and clutched his toast closer to him for protection.

And yet, when they finally entered the DADA room, professor Elkins was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s the professor?” Peter asked, growing more and more scared by the second. He clutched Sirius’s arm (Sirius used it as an excuse to snatch more toast).

Remus shrugged, but James somehow thought he was lying. He edged away from Peter and Sirius (now grappling for the toast in the middle of the doorway) and whispered to Remus, “Why’d you ask about the DADA legend?”

“I said ‘myth’, not legend,” Remus said primly. “There’s a difference.”

“Princess!” Sirius called over his shoulder, slapping Peter upside the head as Peter slapped him with the crust of his toast.

“You’re avoiding the question,” James insisted to Remus.

“You’re being a prat!” Sirius insisted to Peter.

“You’re all blocking the doorway,” insisted a new crackling voice, from behind them.

All four of them froze. James was the first to turn around, Peter close behind and Sirius’s sluggish, angry form in the back. A shadow loomed over them.

“Here for the Defense Against the Dark Arts, are you?” squeaked the voice again, and-

No.

They say that when you have a nightmare so intense, so utterly terrifying, so paralyzing and heart wrenching, it feels like your entire life is being ruined. It feels like you’re awake; like you’re living the experience and you’ll never escape it.

Remus’s mouth fell open. “Filch?” he whispered.

James must’ve been dreaming.

Sirius widened his eyes, suddenly awake. “We didn’t do nothing!” he yelped. James groaned.

Peter was slowly inching as far away from the classroom as possible. He bumped into a Slytherin sixth year- who said some very crude words and shoved him right back into James. James steadied him and reminded himself to be strong. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream.

Filch- whyever he was there- narrowed his beady black eyes at Sirius. He looked like he hadn’t slept in five days, and his hair was greasier than Snape’s. “People only say that,” he speculated dangerously, “When they have something to hide.”

Peter laughed nervously. “We never hide anything. We keep everything very… visible.”

He looked, very obviously, at James at that last line. James felt the weight of the invisibility cloak in his backpack and thought Peter’s going to kill us all.

Remus cleared his throat. “I think what Sirius is trying to say,” he explained diplomatically, putting a hand on Sirius’s shoulder, “Is that we didn’t do any of the Defense summer reading. He just has a very… forward way of explaining.”

Sirius looked incapable of blinking. His red-rimmed eyes stayed intently on Filch and he said “Yes, I am forwards,” very convincingly.

“Forward ho!” Peter squeaked.

There was a very awkward pause where James wanted to sink into the ground and die. Sirius stared at Filch, who stared at them all. Peter stared at the ground. James stared at Remus like help, and Remus stared back like I tried and you lot were so stupid that it didn’t stick.

The familiar sound of the class bell rang, and Filch broke contact with them, huffing dismissively. “Fine,” he said, stepping aside the DADA door and beckoning them forwards.

The clock chimed again, indicating that they were late to their class by one inch. Peter scuttled into the DADA class, Sirius and Remus quick on his heels.

James stayed staring down at Filch- his neck was starting to hurt. “Why’re you at this class, Filch?” he asked. Then, because Filch was glaring rather threateningly at him, “Sir?”

Although he probably should’ve put it together already.

Filch laughed. More like a cackle, really. A reedy, evil cackle that let James know that this was a nightmare indeed. “The headmaster is short on staff,” he said, sounding almost gleeful. “He needed someone to look after you little devils. And here I am.”

James pinched himself, but he stayed terrifyingly awake.

Remus Lupin

Remus had made two mistakes that morning.

He’d been keeping tally, of course. After the vampire incident, he knew he’d have to be on his toes for any more suspicions his friends had. And he had managed to slip up and feed said suspicions two times: when he asked James about the DADA myth after not smelling Elkins’s mothy scent, and identifying Filch before anyone else could.

Two mistakes in the course of five minutes- that pattern didn’t bode well for the rest of his year.

Filch proved to be very much a substitute professor. Him and teaching seemed to disagree on a fundamental level, and he spent the class period yelling at random students and banging his hand on the table to emphasize a point that he didn’t fully know. For once, the class was truly scared. Even James and Sirius toned down their talking.

“Are we destined to have professors that don’t know what Defense Against the Dark Arts even is?” Lily asked mournfully. Remus was sitting next to her and Marls and Mary, and he was sure he wouldn’t hear the end of it from James.

“I think Filch’s better than professor Elkins,” he defended weakly, cringing as Filch knocked over his desk after a girl named Dorcas corrected his statement on modern wizarding punishment.

“I think we’re going to fail our OWLS,” Mary whispered over Filch’s loud voice.

Remus hadn’t even thought about that. He knew OWLS were four years away, but he supposed he should still be worrying about it. Especially when Filch was currently furiously storming across the room to knock over a bookshelf.

“Let’s start a study club,” he said, looking to his right at the girls. “We’ll meet in the library, just like usual, but… er…”

“We’ll make it official,” Marlene saved him, smiling and tossing her brunette hair over her shoulder. “Perfect, Remus! That might be the only way I pass at this rate.”

“We could let Peter in, too,” Remus suggested timidly. “He needs help with the work sometimes-“ (understatement) “And I bet he’d get better grades with us helping him.” (understatement).

“I think that sounds lovely,” Lily said, positively beaming. “I love helping people out.”

“Except James,” giggled Mary.

“Shut up. He doesn’t count as a person.”

As a werewolf, that semi-offended Remus, but he let it go.

*

And so the study group was announced. Remus, Marlene, Mary, Lily, and a begrudging Peter all met in the library that night, Peter solemnly pulling out a stack of papers that he’d already fallen behind on, and they got to work.

Remus felt like he was in his element. Marlene needed help with transfiguration, Mary couldn’t get her potions work figured out, Peter couldn’t do much of anything- and Remus was good at all of those things! Him and Lily divided and conquered, and pretty soon they were actually getting some work done. Some work done! On the first day of school! It was miraculous!

Remus left the library feeling rather proud of himself, Peter tagging along talking almost unintelligibly about the charms work that he finally understood, after a whole year. Remus’s ego went through the Great Hall’s starry roof.

It plummeted right back down into the Hufflepuff common room when they were climbing the stairs and Remus’s enhanced hearing heard James and Sirius arguing about… him.

“He’s too fragile,” James was saying. “And he’s not a vampire, so let’s just leave it.”

“I’m not saying we hold him down again,” Sirius huffed. “That was your idea. Maybe, for any other theories, we’d ask first before trying to prove it. That way if he runs away, we know our theory’s right. And if he chooses to do it- I mean, it’s proven or not proven, right?”

“Why couldn’t you have had that stroke of genius before he had a meltdown over the mirror?” James groaned quietly, and Remus’s face fell.

Peter noticed; of course he did. He stopped his conversation about charms work and said, “What’s wrong?” Then he looked in the direction of the dorms and: “What’re they talking about? I can barely hear-“

“Me,” Remus murmured before he could stop himself. Mistake number three.

“How can you hear so good?” Peter marveled, looking up at him with wide, innocent blue eyes.

Remus figured he had better not talk again unless he wanted those wide eyes to turn on him. Instead of answering, he just took a steadying breath and strode down the hallway to their dorm, making himself drown out Sirius and James’s argument until he and Peter were right in the doorway. “Hi,” he said simply, but the sound died in his throat.

Mistake number four. He was on a streak.

Sirius was lying on his stomach on James’s bed, and James was hitting him in the head repeatedly with a pillow. That was normal enough for them, but what they were talking about was anything but normal. They looked up at him with Sirius wearing a defiant expression and James looking scared. Of him?

“Hi, Remus,” they chorused.

“And Peter,” Remus said weakly.

“And Peter,” they finished.

Peter gave a small wave.

Remus wasn’t paying attention to the Quidditch conversation James abruptly started up with them. His knees felt a bit weak, and he managed to hobble over to his bed and sit heavily on the edge.

A thump from his right told him that Sirius had gotten off his bed the non-traditional (or traditional for Sirius) way. Another thump, and Remus’s bed squeaked as Sirius clambered over to him. Remus stared at the floor, legs swinging off the edge of the bed. He felt Sirius’s breath on his shoulder, and Sirius said, “You’re not mad?”

Remus shook his head. He didn’t really deserve to be mad, considering he was keeping so many secrets from them.

Sirius headbutted his shoulder- because of course he did- and Remus took a few shaky breaths to ground himself. It was fine. Yeah, his friends were on to him somewhat. But they still felt comfortable enough to headbutt him in the shoulder at random intervals, so it was fine. Probably.

No one would headbutt a werewolf.

“Remus?” Peter asked gingerly, and Remus made himself look up. “James asked you about the Quidditch tryouts.”

“You’re gonna be there, right?” James asked, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

Remus hadn’t been planning on it. There was so much noise involved; it made his stomach churn just thinking about it. Instead of responding, he one-handedly shoved Sirius off of his bed and said, “I’m going to turn in.”

“It’s seven,” Sirius said, sound muffled by the floor.

“I need sleep,” Remus insisted stubbornly.

“You’re not going to be able to sleep with us talking!” James said unapologetically.

“Then stop talking.”

“But-“

“James!” Remus took another few deep breaths. Fine. It was fine. “Goodnight.”

With that, he swung his legs into bed and pulled the curtains shut with a satisfying swish. Only then, when his friends' voices were slightly dimmer and they couldn’t see him, did he let himself think about the possibility that maybe they were really onto him.

Maybe he’d have to leave.

He wanted to cry at the possibility, but that would be irrational. Crying was for big injuries and deaths, not feelings. He hated the thought of crying over something as stupid as thoughts of leaving Hogwarts.

But what if he did? What if his friends found out and they hated him; kicked him out of the school for being a monster- and the worst part was, he wouldn’t be able to blame them…

A single tear slipped down his face before his body shut down and he fell asleep.

Peter Pettigrew

September ninth brought a dreadful day upon them.

Peter’s thirteenth birthday.

It was horrifying. In their first year, Peter was so socially anxious that he just hadn’t bothered to tell anyone about his birthday. Plus, he’d managed to convince himself that the people he’d been meeting weren’t going to stick around long- after all, who could tolerate Peter for years on end? Peter could barely tolerate Peter for years on end!

But this year was different, because he had friends. And yes, his friends were admittedly pricks sometimes, but they had also stuck around. So shouldn’t Peter share his thirteenth birthday with them?

They had classes that horrible, dreadful day, and the atmosphere was so charged that Peter quickly decided that no, he did not want to say anything about his birthday. Quidditch tryouts were at the end of September, and James was already on edge. He was constantly bouncing up and down, clenching and unclenching his hands like he was imagining using them to catch the snitch. In the short week that they’d been there, he’d already forced Sirius out to the Quidditch pitch at night nearly five times.

“We’re not lost, you prick!” James hissed to Sirius, who was nibbling angrily on a pancake he’d stolen from the Great Hall before they stumbled to classes. “Piss off!”

“Deep breaths, James,” Remus said acidly. “Or Sirius is gonna beat you with your own broom.”

“Thinking about it,” Sirius muttered through the pancake. “’Sa good option.”

James scowled and continued ‘navigating’, and Peter firmly agreed with himself. No, he wouldn’t tell anyone about his birthday. No one needed to know anyways. Peter would just be birthdayless. If someone asked, he’d never even been born. He was a figment of their imaginations…

But Peter’s luck had never been that good, so of course as soon as he had a solid plan in his mind, fate had to show up and squash it. The door to the DADA class was already open when James finally found his way there, and Filch was smiling at them under his greasy stubble.

Wait, that wasn’t right. Filch didn’t smile. Smiling and Filch didn’t get along!

Peter gulped. He’d always been scared of Filch, but now? Now, he was Peter’s Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, and now Peter was terrified.

“Looks like we have a birthday today!” Filch called in a voice that made Peter tremble, those words making him tremble even more. “Peter Pettigrew!”

Sirius was too sleep-deprived to catch on. “It’s not anyone’s birthday,” he said stubbornly.

Realization dawned in Remus’s eyes, and Peter thought he might die. Remus just looked at him, once for confirmation, and Peter gave in and nodded.

“Whose birthday?” James said animatedly, wringing his hands and for once not worrying about the invisible snitch he was so intent on catching.

Filch laughed again, and his clammy, zombie-like hand reached out to grab Peter’s shoulder and lead him in the classroom. “I just said his name, didn’t I?” he cackled, shaking Peter’s shoulders violently and stopping him at the doorway.

Yep. Peter was going to die, on his birthday.

The whole class was turned around in their seats, watching him with curiosity. The whole. Class. Lily and Marlene and Mary were among them, from the study group Remus had dragged him to. That was even worse- being embarrassed was one thing. But being embarrassed in front of girls- girls he knew! That was the worst birthday present he could receive.

“It’s not my birthday,” Peter said meekly, squirming in Filch’s grip.

“Nonsense!” Filch whispered, and if the class hadn’t had his attention they did now. “It’s in your files. We don’t want you having a lackluster birthday celebration, do we?”

Peter knew this was some sort of elaborate revenge on Filch’s part. It was a way to ensure that Peter never crossed him again; never snuck out or broke the rules or even made up stupid lies about ‘keeping visible’. And it was dang well working; Peter was about to keel over.

When Peter didn’t say anything, Filch took it upon himself to croak, “Happy birthday to youuuuuu…”

Peter wondered, faintly, if this was an omen of the rest of his time being thirteen. If so, he wanted a refund.

The rest of the class hesitantly joined in. Remus appeared by Peter’s right side and whispered, “This is right awkward.”

Peter didn’t respond. He was too busy trying not to cry.

Thirty seconds had never gone by so slowly. Remus stood by him, awkwardly, for the whole time. Filch’s creaking voice hurt Peter’s ears, and he was trying not to look at the class’s polite and pitying faces. When it was over, Filch finally released him with a loud clap and a “Get out your textbooks before I hit you with them!”

As he pranced to the front of the room, Peter felt two sets of rough hands wheel him around by the shoulders. Remus steadied him before he could fall- sad; he could’ve been out of his misery- and Sirius and James were staring accusingly at him when the world righted itself.

“You never told us you had a birthday!” Sirius said angrily- and a bit sleep-depravedly.

“’Course he’s got a birthday,” Remus scoffed. “Believe it or not, so do I.”

“Really? I don’t recall you telling us yours either,” James countered with a small smile. His eyes landed back on Peter and he added, “But now we DO know, and there’s no time to waste! We’re gonna have so much fun, lads!”

Sirius grumbled, “So much fun, yeah. Drag me out of bed at five in the morning for ‘so much fun’; see if I don’t punch you in the-“

“Sirius!” Remus scolded.

“Sorry.”

James and Sirius marched on either side of Peter, taking him to his seat like he was royalty. Remus slunk off to go sit happily with Lily and the girls. Unfair.

“Make way!” James shouted flamboyantly, disrupting their poor exhausted classmates. “Birthday boy, coming through!”

What a dreadful day it was.

*

True to their word, James and Sirius had so much fun. Peter was completely miserable the majority of the time.

Okay, the bit where Sirius and James pooled their dessert at lunch together to give him a monstrosity made of pudding, cookies, scones, treacle treats, and bacon bites for whatever reason- that was cool. The part were Lily, Mary, and Marlene talked to him- talked to him!- to wish him a happy birthday- that was cool too. And Remus finally doing his charms homework for him as a birthday gift- that was probably lifesaving.

But still.

By the end of his birthday, Peter was utterly sick of the attention. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget that birthdays were a thing that existed. He hoped that perhaps next year James would forget about his birthday, but that was unlikely. James Potter was shockingly good at recalling things people didn’t want him to recall.

Peter was about to drag himself into the Gryffindor tower, flanked by his friends shouting “BOW, PEASANTS, TO PETER THE BIRTHDAYETH!”, when he stopped dead in his tracks.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Esteban said lazily, leaning on the base of the Gryffindor portrait and smirking. “But you’re never anywhere else except stuffing your face in the Great Hall, so here we are.”

Remus, James, and Sirius stood stock still next to him. Esteban waved his hand casually and said, “Dismiss,” and they obediently turned and walked back the way they’d came- as if by magic.

“What did you do?” Peter asked, already feeling panicky. Worst birthday ever.

Esteban rolled his eyes and slunk towards him, lazy smirk still on his face. “Nothing bad. Don’t sweat it, Pete. I just came here to wish you a happy birthday.”

Yeah, right. “And?”

“And many more?” Esteban spread his hands, like he was expecting a hug.

“And?” Peter pressed.

Esteban dropped his arms and let out a sigh. “Fine. You always skip the pleasantries. You need to stop and smell the flowers, cousin. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I want to bury the hatchet.” He got closer, and Peter shivered. “Bygones be bygones, yeah?”

“You crashed my friend into a tree,” Peter stated.

“Bygones be bygones,” Esteban repeated. “This summer changed me, Pete. I’ve become wiser. Smarter.”

“Those are synonyms,” Peter said, remembering Remus’s teachings.

Esteban wrinkled his nose. “Whatever. I’ve learned things you wouldn’t ever dream of putting into practice- things you don’t even know exist. And it all comes with a simple price.”

His left hand moved to roll up his right sleeve, and Peter’s eyebrows furrowed. There, on his cousin’s pale arm, was a weird-looking dark inking of a snake and a skull. It looked like he’d just gotten it a few days ago.

“Mum would kill you,” Peter whispered, looking at the thing. “She hates tattoos.”

“And I hate her, so it’s alright,” Esteban said happily. He leaned closer to Peter, shoving his sleeve down conspiratorially like someone might see. “Do you even know what this means, Peter? What power this gives me? When I leave Hogwarts, I’m set for life.”

Peter couldn’t help but feel jealous. He wanted to be set for life! He didn’t know what those tattoos were, but he almost wanted one. Almost.

“What do you want?” he asked, because Esteban always wanted something. Even on Peter’s birthday.

Esteban heaved another sigh, and rubbed a hand over his robed arm like the tattoo was stinging. His eyes were cold when he said, “I just want you to hear me out one day, Pete. That’s all. This world is changing- really changing. I don’t want my little cousin to be stuck on the wrong side.”

Peter didn’t know what Esteban was talking about. He didn’t know what the sides were. What was changing?!

“Mostly,” Esteban said firmly, and Peter flinched as he reached to ruffle Peter’s hair, “I just want you to be safe. You have potential, Pete. I saw it when you yelled at me out on the Quidditch field. You’re not like the rest of your family. You’re more like me.”

“A Slytherin?” Peter asked, looking down at his gold and red tie. “Must’ve worn the wrong uniform, then.”

Esteban chuckled and ruffled Peter’s hair again. “Alright. Be like that.” He turned to leave, and Peter almost felt worried that he was leaving so soon. “I’ll bring your friends back. Happy Birthday, little cousin.”

“Happy Birthday,” Peter muttered, and instantly turned bright red. Dang it.

James, Sirius, and Remus came stumbling back into view as soon as Esteban left, looking dazed and confused. “That was a trip,” Sirius said, eyeing James suspiciously. “Did you lace my food, mate?”

James yelped. “Why’re you looking at me?! Remus is the suspicious one!”

“Yeah, I put drugs in your food,” Remus said blandly, turning to Peter with a pointed stare. “What happened?”

Peter thought about telling them all- about the tattoo, about Esteban’s words. Maybe one of them would know what it all meant.

But Esteban had been so nice. And, considering that was the only good present Peter had gotten all day… Peter was going to keep it to himself. That wasn’t evil, right?

“Just wishing me happy birthday,” Peter said truthfully. “In his own way.”

Still suspicious, the three followed Peter into the dorm room. Peter fully planned to sleep every conversation of the day into oblivion. It had been a dreadful birthday, indeed!

Sirius Black

Sirius was used to waking up in the middle of the night after dreaming about Walburga bashing his face in with various objects, so it was unsettling to wake up to someone else screaming like their face was being bashed in with various objects.

Sirius sat up in bed and blinked, trying to tell where he was. He cautiously inched to the left and promptly felt the cold breeze and velvety curtains as he plummeted out of bed onto the hard floor. Per usual.

“What’s wrong?” he asked the empty room quietly, his voice hoarse with sleep.

“Nothing,” said a small voice to his left.

Sirius turned to face the voice and saw Remus Lupin hunched on his own bed, knees balled up to his chest, shaking.

Oh dear.

“Is this about the vampire thing?” Sirius asked immediately, scooting closer to his friend. “Because if it is, you need to lighten up-“

Remus shook his head and took a few shaking breaths, chest heaving. He looked so small on the bed. He acted so mature sometimes that it was easy to forget he was younger than Sirius. (Ha.) “Not about that,” he whispered. “M’fine.”

James’s groggy voice broke the silence that followed. “Who died?” he asked sleepily, and Sirius could tell that weak attempts to exit his bed were being made. “Why the scream?”

“Your reflexes aren’t the greatest, mate,” Sirius commented. “Might wanna change that if you’re gonna get on the Quidditch team.”

“Shaddup,” James slurred, and then there was a rustling sound that alerted Sirius that James was very much asleep again.

Peter snored, very loudly.

Sirius made a bold move- considering he’d thought Remus was a vampire not even a week before- and perched on the edge of the bed next to Remus. “What’s wrong?”

Remus shrunk away from him. “Nothing,” he said in a small voice.

Sirius thought back to first year, trying to remember what Remus had done with Sirius’s nightmares to help. Then he remembered a similar time when Remus had been freaked out, and he paused. “Are you sick?” he asked, reaching out for Remus’s forehead.

Remus smacked his hand away. His hand was clammy. Sirius had literally no idea how to tell a fever from normalcy, but he was fairly sure clamminess wasn’t good.

“You need me to walk you to the nurse?” he asked carefully. Remus tended to get… volatile… about the nurse.

“NO!” Remus said harshly. Proving Sirius’s point.

Sirius thought back to another time Remus had freaked out, in March, when Sirius had had the brilliant idea of waking him up with some sort of shaggy blanket and Remus had thought he’d been strangled or something. “You had a nightmare?” he guessed. “About… a monster?”

Remus pressed his palms to his eyes. “Possibly,” he said in a small voice.

Hm. Something to add to his Remus Notes. Now what to do with the actual Remus…

“Want me to make you the disgusting tea you like?” Sirius offered generously.

Remus laughed a little. “I don’t want the dorm destroyed this early in the morning, thanks. Just go back to sleep, Sirius.”

There really wasn’t much left to offer, so Sirius did his signature blind flop off Remus’s bed and back into his own. “G’night, Remmy,” he said, pulling the velvet curtains shut.

“Don’t call me that,” Remus said firmly.

Oooo, blackmail! “Would you prefer princess?”

“Sometimes I marvel at our friendship.”

“Sometimes I marvel at how you use words like marvel, Remmy.”

“Stop.”

Sirius cackled as quietly as cackling could be cackled. "Fineeee. Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight, prick.”

*

Sirius’s Remus Notes were going to need to become a Remus Novel. It was eight pages now, with scribbled notes in the margins from Peter and little drawings of stick figures killing each other from James. Plus, there were pudding stains all over it and Sirius didn’t want to know how that got there. So maybe it needed a revamp.

He shoved it haphazardly in his pocket before classes the next morning, and headed to the great hall with his friends.

Remus was half asleep, stumbling along several feet behind them like a dog. Sirius took to glancing at him at random intervals, just to make sure he hadn’t gotten lost.

“I’m just saying,” James said stubbornly, “That we could be on the same Quidditch team together! That would be so cool!”

Ugh. “Quidditch is your thing,” Sirius said dully. It was too early in the morning for this conversation.

“It could be both of your things,” Peter suggested happily. James nodded empathetically.

“No,” Sirius refused, glancing over his shoulder to find that Remus was on the verge of falling. He snapped his fingers and Remus woke up with a small “Where am I?”

James finally quit trying to force Sirius onto the Quidditch team and finally looked back at Remus. “Sure you don’t want to skive a day?”

Remus shook his head and almost toppled over.

“He’ll be fine,” Sirius answered for him, and they continued to walk along.

Big mistake.

The next time Sirius bothered to look at Remus, it was because he’d heard a snotty-sounding “OI!” from behind them, that did not sound like Remus. Peter said a small “uh oh” and Sirius was immediately on edge. Uh ohs from Peter either meant failed tests or Estebans, and it was too early for a failed test. (Although this was Peter…)

Sirius turned around, dragging James with him by the elbow, and found that there weren’t any Estebans. There was, however, one Regulus Black sneering at Remus, who was sprawled out on the floor looking very dazed.

Peter ran over to help Remus up, but Sirius was frozen. He stared at Regulus- little, tiny Regulus with fire in his eyes- and willed his voice to work.

“Banshee got your tongue?” Regulus asked him with a sneer. That was always mother’s favorite phrase.

James looked blankly at Regulus, then Remus, then back at Regulus. “Did you push him?”

“Of course he did,” Sirius spat out, finally finding his voice. “He’s mother’s little snake. ‘Course he shoved the first Gryffindor he saw.”

Remus weakly sat up, leaning on Peter’s shoulder, and shot Regulus a look. “I don’t think he meant to-“ he started.

Regulus stalked up to Sirius and said icily, “You’re just jealous because I’m mother’s favorite and you aren’t!”

“Me?” Sirius cackled. “Jealous of you?! That’s rich, Reg.”

James didn’t look at all prepared to intervene between the siblings, but he finally pulled Sirius back and stared Regulus down. “Don’t push my friends,” he said quietly.

Regulus flushed scarlet, just like he always did when someone insulted him. “It’s not my fault it got in the way!” he said, jerking his chin at Remus’s thin frame.

Sirius hated Regulus in that moment. He clenched his fist and said, “What do you mean, it?!”

“It has a name!” Peter squeaked angrily at the same time.

“You have a lot of nerve, saying that!” James snapped as well.

Regulus looked down at Remus, whose eyes were closed and was resting on Peter’s shoulder. “Aw, it’s sleeping.”

It was a stupid insult from a stupid eleven-year-old, but it still made Sirius see red. “I’m gonna punch the magic out of you,” Sirius seethed, fighting against James’s hand. “Let go, James!”

“Yeah!” a greasy-sounding voice defended, and James’s eyes widened dangerously. “Snivillous,” he whispered in Sirius’s ear.

Regulus smiled- smiled- as Snivillous Snape strutted into view and took his place next to Regulus. He looked at James and smirked, looking greasier than ever. “Let go of your friend,” he mouthed, “So he can avenge his mudblood pet.”

Sirius STILL didn’t know what that word meant, so he just shot back, “You’re the mudblood!”

Remus woke up with a little jerk of his head and slurred, “Don’t say that word.”

“He defends his own kind,” Severus said pityingly, shooting Regulus a look that Sirius didn’t like one bit. “Good thing he has pureblood traitors to defend him, yeah? Let Sirius go, Potter.”

Regulus smirked, and Sirius had to chant he’s eleven, he’s eleven, he’s eleven in his head to keep himself from picking him up and punting him. “Fight your own brother, Siri,” Regulus whispered, cocking an eyebrow. “Let’s see what mother says about it.”

He’s eleven, he’s eleven, he’s eleven.

Remus struggled to his feet and held onto Peter’s shoulder. “Let’s just go,” he said, looking at Sirius imploringly.

“Better listen before he makes you,” Snape said quietly, elbowing Regulus’s side.

Remus paused. “What?” he wondered confusedly.

“What?” James repeated angrily.

“What?” Peter asked concernedly.

Oh no, Sirius thought, a mix of all three tones. Snape had seen the Remus Notes.

Regulus snickered, and it occurred to Sirius with another pang of terror that Snape might have told Sirius’s brother about the Remus Notes. “Might grow fangs,” Regulus suggested acidly.

“Don’t want him to attack you,” Snape added, looking coldly at Remus. “I bet he could. Just look at the scars on his face.”

Remus stumbled back a little, Peter guiding him to James and Sirius. “What-“

“Oh, he flinched,” Snape noted, and Sirius felt his ears ringing. “And we weren’t even loud or anything.”

“Maybe he’ll disappear again tomorrow,” Regulus thought out loud, and there was the confirmation. Snape had told him about the notes.

Sirius had known that Severus reading the notes would come back to haunt him, but Remus’s confused face showed that Sirius’s slip-up haunted more than just him.

“Let’s go,” Peter said, staring imploringly at James and Sirius and tugging at Remus’s arm. “Don’t bother, Sirius.”

Oh, Sirius was going to bother. Younger brothers should never win an argument, and Snape definitely should never win an argument. Regulus and Severus wouldn’t stand a chance. Sirius would… er…

Sirius didn’t know exactly what he would do, but it would be painful!

James looked ready to murder as well, but Remus touched his shoulder and whispered, “James.” He looked ready to cry, still half asleep.

James’s face broke into concern, and he tugged Sirius away quickly. “Don’t get too full of yourself!” he called over his shoulder to Snape and Regulus. “You’ll be sorry soon, Snivillous!”

“Careful, or I might have to write mother!” Regulus called after them.

Sirius was seething. He HATED his brother!

He hated him.

“What was that?” Remus asked nervously as they rounded the corner to the great hall, looking to Sirius with fear in his eyes. Remus Lupin, scared. That was more Peter’s thing. Sirius hated seeing Remus scared. He HATED Regulus!

Sirius looked at James like help. James smiled reassuringly at Remus and said, “Snape is just being a prick like normal. It’s fine.”

Peter looked at Sirius like it is not fine, and the looking circle was complete. Sirius almost wanted to look back at Regulus, but he’d probably just spit at him.

Chapter Text

James Potter

Okay, so maybe James had gone a bit too far with the mirror.

But what else was he supposed to do?! There was clearly something going on with Remus, and he wouldn’t tell them anything! James had really thought knowing Remus was a vampire would’ve done… something. Made him confess his wrongdoing, or get him kicked out of Hogwarts (although the idea of Hogwarts without Remus was weird)? Something.

Seeing Remus with that terrified face, breaths hitching on their way out of him, looking about to cry- that made James realize that Remus couldn’t have been a vampire. He was too human.

Meaning James and Sirius had just bullied their human friend. Oops.

Still, Remus got over that fiasco quicker than James would’ve expected. The next morning brought a brighter dawn and a mollified group.

“Good morning!” James screeched, pulling back the curtains of Sirius’s bed to reveal Sirius’s middle finger thrust at him, pre-prepared. James always woke up Sirius first because Sirius took the longest and it woke James up to be put in life-threatening scenarios like that.
“I didn’t miss this,” Remus muttered when James finally managed to scream him out of bed. He put his hands over his ears and let out an exasperated, Remus-like sigh. “Honestly, James…”
Peter just kept sleeping, up until James grabbed his ankles and dragged him out of bed. Peter finally awoke then, with a piercing squeal and a violent kick to James’s stomach. Sirius doubled over in laughter and James from pain, and Remus helped Peter up with another, “Honestly.”
The things James had to suffer for his morning personality.
He’d always been a morning person, but first days were always different. There was something especially invigorating about putting on his Hogwarts uniform for the first time in three months, in not bothering to tie his tie and dodging Sirius’s (which Sirius was using as a weapon, per usual). It was a special type of day, and James loved it.
Sirius was almost draped over him and Peter on their way to breakfast, while Remus followed, unbothered. “I wanna go back to sleep,” he whined, right in James’s ear.
“I’m gonna drop you,” James warned.
“Can you drop me on a bed? Or a table? Or just the floor is fine, I’ll sleep anywhere-“
James and Peter dropped him at the same time, and Sirius fell to the floor with a shriek. He did not in fact go to sleep, just popped back up with a murderous glare but wider eyes. Mission accomplished.
Their first class was DADA, just like normal. Despite James’s early wake-up call, Sirius’s lack of caffeine and Peter’s slowness had made them have to skip breakfast to get to class on time. Peter snagged a few pieces of toast, but they were all for him. Fair.
They took Remus’s secret passage that he’d somehow discovered on that first day of school last year, and they were nearing the DADA room when Remus’s eyes went wide and he said, “James, what was that rumor about the DADA professors at Hogwarts?”
Oooo, James remembered that one! “I heard there’s a curse on them!” he said, making Peter squeak and huddle closer to Remus. “Each DADA professor only lasts one year before disappearing.”
“I’d like to disappear,” Sirius muttered angstily, swiping at Peter’s toast. “Back to the dorm. So I can sleep.”
“So Elkins won’t be here?” Remus asked, seeming like he knew something James didn’t.
James considered. He hadn’t actually thought that myth was true. “Maybe,” he conceded. “She probably will be, though. Which is great for you, Peter- teacher’s pet.”
Sirius snickered. Peter pouted and clutched his toast closer to him for protection.
And yet, when they finally entered the DADA room, professor Elkins was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s the professor?” Peter asked, growing more and more scared by the second. He clutched Sirius’s arm (Sirius used it as an excuse to snatch more toast).
Remus shrugged, but James somehow thought he was lying. He edged away from Peter and Sirius (now grappling for the toast in the middle of the doorway) and whispered to Remus, “Why’d you ask about the DADA legend?”
“I said ‘myth’, not legend,” Remus said primly. “There’s a difference.”
“Princess!” Sirius called over his shoulder, slapping Peter upside the head as Peter slapped him with the crust of his toast.
“You’re avoiding the question,” James insisted to Remus.
“You’re being a prat!” Sirius insisted to Peter.
“You’re all blocking the doorway,” insisted a new voice, from behind them.
All four of them froze. James was the first to turn around, Peter close behind and Sirius’s sluggish, angry form in the back. A shadow loomed over them, an impossibly tall shadow- ten feet at least. James wondered if it would even fit in the doorway.
“Here for the Defense Agains’ the Dark Arts, are yeh?” boomed a voice as giant as the shadow.
James squinted up at the figure and saw only shaggy fur- a beard, a huge beard that stretched around the man’s face. Crinkly eyes were the only thing James could see of the face, but even from that he could tell the giant was smiling pleasantly.
Remus’s mouth fell open. “Hagrid!” he said in awe.
Ohhhh, James remembered Hagrid. He was the giant who’d rowed them across the lake in their first year! Apparently Remus had kept in contact with him, because Hagrid grinned and said, “REMUS! I haven’t seen you since March!”
“Why’d you see him in March?” Sirius asked Remus. “I haven’t seen him at all.”
James wondered if Hagrid would take offense to that, but he just laughed and said “Remus sometimes kept me an’ Fang company- when he wasn’t out with you lot, that is.”
Peter looked rather terrified of Hagrid’s looming form. “You never told us!” he accused, and his voice went up at least five octaves.
Remus shrugged. “You never asked. It wasn’t a big deal, really.”
Hagrid was a big deal- or at the least, big. James wondered what other secrets Remus was keeping from them, but he forced himself not to think about it too much. He thought that Remus was always either with Lily and her friends or with them on the weekends, but he didn’t think much about that, either.
The clock chimed around the school, indicating that they were late to their class by one inch. Peter scuttled into the DADA class, Sirius and Remus quick on his heels.
James stayed staring up at Hagrid- which was an incredible feat, because his neck was starting to hurt. “Why’re you here, Hagrid?” he asked.
Although he probably should’ve put it together already.
Hagrid boomed a laugh, and his big hand engulfed James’s shoulder, steering him around and inside the classroom. “Dumbledore wa’ short on staff, Mr. Potter! I’m the substitute professor!”
Remus Lupin
Remus had made two mistakes that morning.
He’d been keeping tally, of course. After the vampire incident, he knew he’d have to be on his toes for any more suspicions his friends had. And he had managed to slip up and feed said suspicions two times: when he asked James about the DADA myth after not smelling Elkins’s mothy scent, and identifying Hagrid before anyone else could.
Two mistakes in the course of five minutes- that didn’t bode well for the rest of his year.
Granted, Hagrid was a good liar. Apparently better than Remus. Remus had been left reeling at the ‘how do you know Hagrid’ questions, but Hagrid’s lie about the weekends had been brilliant. In reality, Hagrid sometimes came to visit Remus when he was lonely in the hospital wing after full moons. Since Hagrid was- undoubtingly- strange as well, it was nice to have him as company.
Now Remus would have to tell him to stop coming, since James clearly suspected. Remus could see it in his eyes.
Great.
Hagrid proved to be very much a substitute professor. Him and teaching seemed to disagree on a fundamental level, and he spent the class period stumbling around and asking students questions he barely knew the answers to. Remus felt bad, especially when he heard James and Sirius and Peter joking in the back of the classroom.
“Are we destined to have professors that don’t know what Defense Against the Dark Arts even is?” Lily asked mournfully. Remus was sitting next to her and Marls and Mary, and he was sure he wouldn’t hear the end of it from James.
“I think Hagrid’s better than professor Elkins,” he defended, cringing as Hagrid knocked over his entire desk and tried to make it into a teachable moment.
“I think we’re going to fail our OWLS,” Mary whispered over Hagrid’s loud voice.
Remus hadn’t even thought about that. He knew OWLS were four years away, but he supposed he should still be worrying about it. Especially when Hagrid was currently trying to make a connection between Fang and a demon spider…
“Let’s start a study club,” he said, looking to his right at the girls. “We’ll meet in the library, just like usual, but… er…”
“We’ll make it official,” Marlene saved him, smiling and tossing her brunette hair over her shoulder. “Perfect, Remus! That might be the only way I pass at this rate.”
“We could let Peter in, too,” Remus suggested timidly. “He needs help with the work sometimes-“ (understatement) “And I bet he’d get better grades with us helping him.” (overstatement).
“I think that sounds lovely,” Lily said, positively beaming. “I love helping people out.”
“Except James,” giggled Mary.
“Shut up. He doesn’t count as a person.”
As a werewolf, that semi-offended Remus, but he let it go.
And so the study group was announced. Remus, Marlene, Mary, Lily, and a begrudging Peter all met in the library that night, Peter solemnly pulling out a stack of papers that he’d already fallen behind on, and they got to work.
Remus felt like he was in his element. Marlene needed help with transfiguration, Mary couldn’t get her potions work figured out, Peter couldn’t do much of anything- and Remus was good at all of those things! Him and Lily divided and conquered, and pretty soon they were actually getting some work done. Some work done! On the first day of school! It was miraculous!
Remus left the library feeling rather proud of himself, Peter tagging along talking almost unintelligibly about the charms work that he finally understood, after a whole year. Remus’s ego went through the Great Hall’s starry roof.
It plummeted right back down into the Hufflepuff common room when they were climbing the stairs and Remus’s enhanced hearing heard James and Sirius arguing about… him.
“He’s too fragile,” James was saying. “And he’s not a vampire, so let’s just leave it.”
“I’m not saying we hold him down again,” Sirius huffed. “That was your idea. Maybe, for any other theories, we’d ask first before trying to prove it. That way if he runs away, we know our theory’s right. And if he chooses to do it- I mean, it’s proven or not proven, right?”
“Why couldn’t you have had that stroke of genius before he had a meltdown over the mirror?” James groaned quietly, and Remus’s face fell.
Peter noticed; of course he did. He stopped his conversation about charms work and said, “What’s wrong?” Then he looked in the direction of the dorms and: “What’re they talking about? I can barely hear-“
“Me,” Remus murmured before he could stop himself. Mistake number three.
“How can you hear so good?” Peter marveled, looking up at him with wide, innocent blue eyes.
Remus figured he had better not talk again unless he wanted those wide eyes to get their innocence whisked away. Dramatic? Yes. Such was his life. Instead of answering, he just took a steadying breath and strode down the hallway to their dorm, making himself drown out Sirius and James’s argument until he and Peter were right in the doorway. “Hi,” he said simply, but the sound died in his throat. Mistake number four. He was on a streak.
Sirius was lying on his stomach on James’s bed, and James was hitting him in the head repeatedly with a pillow. That was normal enough for them, but what they were talking about was anything but normal. They looked up at him with Sirius wearing a defiant expression and James looking scared. Of him?
“Hi, Remus,” they chorused.
“And Peter,” Remus said weakly.
“And Peter,” they finished.
Peter gave a small wave.
Remus wasn’t paying attention to the Quidditch conversation James abruptly started up with them. His knees felt a bit weak, and he managed to hobble over to his bed and sit heavily on the edge.
A thump from his right told him that Sirius had gotten off his bed the non-traditional (or traditional for Sirius) way. Another thump, and Remus’s bed squeaked as Sirius clambered over to him. Remus stared at the floor, legs swinging off the edge of the bed. He felt Sirius’s breath on his shoulder, and Sirius said, “You’re not mad?”
Remus shook his head. He didn’t really deserve to be mad, considering he was keeping so many secrets from them.
Sirius headbutted his shoulder- because of course he did- and Remus took a few shaky breaths to ground himself. It was fine. Yeah, his friends were on to him somewhat. But they still felt comfortable enough to headbutt him in the shoulder at random intervals, so it was fine. Probably.
No one would headbutt a werewolf.
“Remus?” Peter asked gingerly, and Remus made himself look up. “James asked you about the Quidditch tryouts.”
“You’re gonna be there, right?” James asked, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.
Remus hadn’t been planning on it. There was so much noise involved; it made his stomach churn just thinking about it. Instead of responding, he one-handedly shoved Sirius off of his bed and said, “I’m going to turn in.”
“It’s seven,” Sirius said, sound muffled by the floor.
“I need sleep,” Remus insisted stubbornly.
“You’re not going to be able to sleep with us talking!” James said unapologetically.
“Then stop talking.”
“But-“
“James!” Remus took another few deep breaths. Fine. It was fine. “Goodnight.”
With that, he swung his legs into bed and pulled the curtains shut with a satisfying swish. Only then, when his friends voices were even slightly dimmer and they couldn’t see him, did he let himself think about the possibility that maybe they were really onto him.
Maybe he’d have to leave.
He wanted to cry at the possibility, but that would be irrational. Crying was for big injuries and deaths, not feelings. He hated the thought of crying over something as stupid as thoughts of leaving Hogwarts.
But what if he did? What if his friends found out and they hated him; kicked him out of the school for being a monster- and the worst part was, he wouldn’t be able to blame them…
A single tear slipped down his face before his body shut down and he fell asleep.
Peter Pettigrew
September ninth brought a dreadful day upon them.
Peter’s thirteenth birthday.
It was horrifying. In their first year, Peter was so socially anxious that he just hadn’t bothered to tell anyone about his birthday. Plus, he’d managed to convince himself that the people he’d been meeting weren’t going to stick around long- after all, who could tolerate Peter for years on end? Peter could barely tolerate Peter for years on end!
But this year was different, because he had friends. And yes, his friends were admittedly pricks sometimes, but they had also stuck around. So shouldn’t Peter share his thirteenth birthday with them?
They had classes that horrible, dreadful day, and the atmosphere was so charged that Peter quickly decided that no, he did not want to say anything about his birthday. Quidditch tryouts were at the end of September, and James was already on edge. He was constantly bouncing up and down, clenching and unclenching his hands like he was imagining using them to catch the snitch. In the short week that they’d been there, he’d already forced Sirius out to the Quidditch pitch at night nearly five times.
“We’re not lost, you prick!” James hissed to Sirius, who was nibbling angrily on a pancake he’d stolen from the Great Hall before they stumbled to classes. “Piss off!”
“Deep breaths, James,” Remus said acidly. “Or Sirius is gonna beat you with your own broom.”
“Thinking about it,” Sirius muttered through the pancake. “’Sa good option.”
James scowled and continued ‘navigating’, and Peter firmly agreed with himself. No, he wouldn’t tell anyone about his birthday. No one needed to know anyways. Peter would just be birthdayless. If someone asked, he’d never even been born. He was a figment of their imaginations…
But Peter’s luck had never been that good, so of course as soon as he had a solid plan in his mind, fate had to show up and squash it. The door to the DADA class was already open when James finally found his way there, and Hagrid was smiling pleasantly at them under his crinkly beard.
Peter gulped. He’d always been scared of Hagrid, but now? Now, he was Peter’s defense against the dark arts teacher, and now Peter was terrified.
“Looks like we have a birthday today!” Hagrid called in a voice that made Peter tremble, those words making him tremble even more. “Peter, my lad!”
Sirius was too sleep-deprived to catch on. “It’s not anyone’s birthday,” he said stubbornly.
Realization dawned in Remus’s eyes, and Peter thought he might die. Remus just looked at him, once for confirmation, and Peter gave in and nodded.
“Whose birthday?” James said animatedly, wringing his hands and for once not worrying about the invisible snitch he was so intent on catching.
Hagrid laughed again, and his big hand reached out to grab Peter’s shoulder and lead him in the classroom. “I just said ‘is name, didn’t I?” he chuckled, shaking Peter’s shoulders slightly and stopping him at the doorway.
Yep. Peter was going to die, on his birthday.
The whole class was turned around in their seats, watching him with curiosity. The whole. Class. Lily and Marlene and Mary were among them, from the study group Remus had dragged him to. That was even worse- being embarrassed was one thing. But being embarrassed in front of girls he knew! That was the worst birthday present he could receive.
“It’s not my birthday,” Peter said meekly, squirming in Hagrid’s grip.
“Nonsense!” Hagrid boomed, and if the class hadn’t had his attention they did now. “It’s in your files, lad! I know the whole class’s!”
Peter knew this type of professor, and he hated them. He hated professors that drew attention to birthdays. It was just a way to weed out the anxious kids in the class without suspicion.
When Peter didn’t say anything, Hagrid took it upon himself to belt, “Happy birthday to youuuuuu…”
Peter wondered, faintly, if this was an omen of the rest of his time being thirteen. If so, he wanted a refund.
The rest of the class hesitantly joined in. Remus appeared by Peter’s right side and whispered, “This is right awkward.”
Peter didn’t respond. He was too busy trying not to cry.
Thirty seconds had never gone by so slowly. Remus stood by him, awkwardly, for the whole time. Hagrid’s voice hurt Peter’s ears, and he was trying not to look at the class’s polite and pitying faces. When it was over, Hagrid finally released him with a loud clap and a “SO! Who wants to learn about spellamabobs?”
As he ambled to the front of the room, Peter felt two sets of rough hands wheel him around by the shoulders. Remus steadied him before he could fall- sad; he could’ve been out of his misery- and Sirius and James were staring accusingly at him when the world righted itself.
“You never told us you had a birthday!” Sirius said angrily- and a bit sleep-depravedly.
“’Course he’s got a birthday,” Remus scoffed. “Believe it or not, so do I.”
“Really? I don’t recall you telling us yours either,” James countered with a small smile. His eyes landed back on Peter and he added, “But now we DO know, and there’s no time to waste! We’re gonna have so much fun, lads!”
Sirius grumbled, “So much fun, yeah. Drag me out of bed at five in the morning for ‘so much fun’; see if I don’t punch you in the-“
“Sirius!” Remus scolded.
“Sorry.”
James and Sirius marched on either side of Peter, taking him to his seat like he was royalty. Remus slunk off to go sit happily with Lily and the girls. Unfair.
“Make way!” James shouted flamboyantly, disrupting their poor exhausted classmates. “Birthday boy, coming through!”
What a dreadful day it was.
True to their word, James and Sirius had so much fun. Peter was completely miserable the majority of the time.
Okay, the bit where Sirius and James pooled their dessert at lunch together to give him a monstrosity made of pudding, cookies, scones, treacle treats, and bacon bites for whatever reason- that was cool. The part were Lily, Mary, and Marlene talked to him- talked to him!- to wish him a happy birthday- that was cool too. And Remus finally doing his charms homework for him as a birthday gift- that was probably lifesaving.
But still.
By the end of his birthday, Peter was utterly sick of the attention. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget that birthdays were a thing that existed. He hoped that perhaps next year James would forget about his birthday, but that was unlikely. James Potter was shockingly good at recalling things people didn’t want him to recall.
Peter was about to drag himself into the Gryffindor tower, flanked by his friends shouting “BOW, PEASANTS, TO PETER THE BIRTHDAYETH!”, when he stopped dead in his tracks.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” Esteban said lazily, leaning on the base of the Gryffindor portrait and smirking. “But you’re never anywhere else except stuffing your face in the Great Hall, so here we are.”
Remus, James, and Sirius stood stock still next to him. Esteban waved his hand casually and said, “Dismiss,” and they obediently turned and walked back the way they’d came- as if by magic.
“What did you do?” Peter asked, clenching his fist. Worst birthday ever.
Esteban rolled his eyes and slunk towards him, lazy smirk still on his face. “Nothing bad. Don’t sweat it, Pete. I just came here to wish you a happy birthday.”
Yeah, right. “And?”
“And many more?” Esteban spread his hands, like he was expecting a hug.
“And?” Peter pressed.
Esteban dropped his arms and let out a sigh. “Fine. You always skip the pleasantries. You need to stop and smell the flowers, cousin. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I want to bury the hatchet.” He got closer, and Peter shivered. “Bygones be bygones, yeah?”
“You crashed my friend into a tree,” Peter stated.
“Bygones be bygones,” Esteban repeated. “This summer changed me, Pete. I’ve become wiser. Smarter.”
“Those are synonyms,” Peter said, remembering Remus’s teachings.
Esteban wrinkled his nose. “Whatever. I’ve learned things you wouldn’t ever dream of putting into practice- things you don’t even know exist. And it all comes with a simple price.”
His left hand moved to roll up his right sleeve, and Peter’s eyebrows furrowed. There, on his cousin’s pale arm, was a weird-looking dark inking of a snake and a skull. It looked like he’d just gotten it a few days ago.
“Mum would kill you,” Peter whispered, looking at the thing. “She hates tattoos.”
“And I hate her, so it’s alright,” Esteban said happily. He leaned closer to Peter, shoving his sleeve down conspiratorially like someone might see. “Do you even know what this means, Peter? What power this gives me? When I leave Hogwarts, I’m set for life.”
Peter couldn’t help but feel jealous. He wanted to be set for life! He didn’t know what those tattoos were, but he almost wanted one. Almost.
“What do you want?” he asked, because Esteban always wanted something. Even on Peter’s birthday.
Esteban heaved another sigh, and rubbed a hand over his robed arm like the tattoo was stinging. His eyes were cold when he said, “I just want you to hear me out one day, Pete. That’s all. This world is changing- really changing. I don’t want my little cousin to be stuck on the wrong side of the change.”
Peter didn’t know what Esteban was talking about. He didn’t know what the sides were. What was changing?!
“Mostly,” Esteban said firmly, and Peter flinched as he reached to ruffle Peter’s hair, “I just want you to be safe. You have potential, Pete. I saw it when you yelled at me out on the Quidditch field. You’re not like the rest of your family. You’re more like me.”
“A Slytherin?” Peter asked, looking down at his gold and red tie. “Must’ve worn the wrong uniform, then.”
Esteban chuckled and ruffled Peter’s hair again. “Alright. Be like that.” He turned to leave, and Peter almost felt worried that he was leaving so soon. “I’ll bring your friends back. Happy Birthday, little cousin.”
“Happy Birthday,” Peter muttered, and instantly turned bright red. Dang it.
James, Sirius, and Remus came stumbling back into view as soon as Esteban left, looking dazed and confused. “That was a trip,” Sirius said, eyeing James suspiciously. “Did you lace my food, mate?”
James yelped. “Why’re you looking at me?! Remus is the suspicious one!”
“Yeah, I put drugs in your food,” Remus said blandly, turning to Peter with a pointed stare. “What happened?”
Peter thought about telling them all- about the tattoo, about Esteban’s words. Maybe one of them would know what it all meant.
But Esteban had been so nice. And, considering that was the only good present Peter had gotten all day… Peter was going to keep it to himself. That wasn’t evil, right?
“Just wishing me happy birthday,” Peter said truthfully. “In his own way.”
Still suspicious, the three followed Peter into the dorm room. Peter fully planned to sleep every conversation of the day into oblivion. It had been a dreadful birthday, indeed!
Sirius Black
Sirius was used to waking up in the middle of the night after dreaming about Walburga bashing his face in with various objects, so it was unsettling to wake up to someone else screaming like their face was being bashed in with various objects.
Sirius sat up in bed and blinked, trying to tell where he was. He cautiously inched to the left and promptly felt the cold breeze and velvety curtains as he plummeted out of bed onto the hard floor. Per usual.
“What’s wrong?” he asked the empty room quietly, his voice hoarse with sleep.
“Nothing,” said a small voice to his left.
Sirius turned to face the voice and saw Remus Lupin hunched on his bed, knees balled up to his chest, shaking.
Oh dear.
“Is this about the vampire thing?” Sirius asked immediately, scooting closer to his friend. “Because if it is, you need to lighten up-“
Remus shook his head and took a few shaking breaths, chest heaving. He looked so small on the bed. He acted so mature sometimes that it was easy to forget he was younger than Sirius. (Ha.) “Not about that,” he whispered. “M’fine.”
James’s groggy voice broke the silence that followed. “Who died?” he asked sleepily, and Sirius could tell that weak attempts to exit his bed were being made. “Why the scream?”
“Your reflexes aren’t the greatest, mate,” Sirius commented. “Might wanna change that if you’re gonna get on the Quidditch team.”
“Shaddup,” James slurred, and then there was a rustling sound that alerted Sirius that James was very much asleep again.
Peter snored, very loudly.
Sirius made a bold move- considering he’d thought Remus was a vampire not even a week before- and perched on the edge of the bed next to Remus. “What’s wrong?”
Remus shrunk away from him. “Nothing,” he said in a small voice.
Sirius thought back to first year, trying to remember what Remus had done with Sirius’s nightmares to help. Then he remembered a similar time when Remus had been freaked out, and he paused. “Are you sick?” he asked, reaching out for Remus’s forehead.
Remus smacked his hand away. His hand was clammy. Sirius had literally no idea how to tell a fever from normalcy, but he was fairly sure clamminess wasn’t good.
“You need me to walk you to the nurse?” he asked carefully. Remus tended to get… volatile… about the nurse.
“NO!” Remus said harshly. Proving Sirius’s point.
Sirius thought back to another time Remus had freaked out, in March, when Sirius had had the brilliant idea of waking him up with some sort of shaggy blanket and Remus had thought he’d been strangled or something. “You had a nightmare?” he guessed. “About… a monster?”
Remus pressed his palms to his eyes. “Possibly,” he said in a small voice.
Hm. Something to add to his Remus Notes. Now what to do with the actual Remus…
“Want me to make you the disgusting tea you like?” Sirius offered generously.
Remus laughed a little. “I don’t want the dorm destroyed this early in the morning, thanks. Just go back to sleep, Sirius.”
There really wasn’t much left to offer, so Sirius did his signature blind flop off Remus’s bed and back into his own. “G’night, Remmy,” he said, pulling the velvet curtains shut.
“Don’t call me that,” Remus said firmly.
Oooo, blackmail! “Would you prefer princess?”
“Sometimes I marvel at our friendship.”
“Sometimes I marvel at how you use words like marvel, Remmy.”
“Stop.”
Sirius cackled as quietly as cackling could be cackled. "Fineeee. Goodnight, princess.”
“Goodnight, prick.”
Sirius’s Remus Notes were going to need to become a Remus Novel. It was eight pages now, with scribbled notes in the margins from Peter and little drawings of stick figures killing each other from James. Plus, there were pudding stains all over it and Sirius didn’t want to know how that got there. So maybe it needed a revamp.
He shoved it haphazardly in his pocket before classes the next morning, and headed to the great hall with his friends.
Remus was half asleep, stumbling along several feet behind them like a dog. Sirius took to glancing at him at random intervals, just to make sure he hadn’t gotten lost.
“I’m just saying,” James said stubbornly, “That we could be on the same Quidditch team together! That would be so cool!”
Ugh. “Quidditch is your thing,” Sirius said dully. It was too early in the morning for this conversation.
“It could be both of your things,” Peter suggested happily. James nodded empathetically.
“No,” Sirius refused, glancing over his shoulder to find that Remus was on the verge of falling. He snapped his fingers and Remus woke up with a small “Where am I?”
James finally quit trying to force Sirius onto the Quidditch team and finally looked back at Remus. “Sure you don’t want to skive a day?”
Remus shook his head and almost toppled over.
“He’ll be fine,” Sirius answered for him, and they continued to walk along.
Big mistake.
The next time Sirius bothered to look at Remus, it was because he’d heard a snotty-sounding “OI!” from behind them, that did not sound like Remus. Peter said a small “uh oh” and Sirius was immediately on edge. Uh ohs from Peter either meant failed tests or Estebans, and it was too early for a failed test. (Although this was Peter…)
Sirius turned around, dragging James with him by the elbow, and found that there weren’t any Estebans. There was, however, one Regulus Black sneering at Remus, who was sprawled out on the floor looking very dazed.
Peter ran over to help Remus up, but Sirius was frozen. He stared at Regulus- little, tiny Regulus with fire in his eyes- and willed his voice to work.
“Banshee got your tongue?” Regulus asked him with a sneer. That was always mother’s favorite phrase.
James looked blankly at Regulus, then Remus, then back at Regulus. “Did you push him?”
“Of course he did,” Sirius spat out, finally finding his voice. “He’s mother’s little snake. ‘Course he shoved the first Gryffindor he saw.”
Remus weakly sat up, leaning on Peter’s shoulder, and shot Regulus a look. “I don’t think he meant to-“ he started.
Regulus stalked up to Sirius and said icily, “You’re just jealous because I’m mother’s favorite and you aren’t!”
“Me?” Sirius cackled. “Jealous of you?! That’s rich, Reg.”
James didn’t look at all prepared to intervene between the siblings, but he finally pulled Sirius back and stared Regulus down. “Don’t push my friends,” he said softly.
Regulus flushed scarlet, just like he always did when someone insulted him. “It’s not my fault it got in the way!” he said, jerking his chin at Remus’s thin frame.
Sirius hated Regulus in that moment. He clenched his fist and said, “What do you mean, it?!”
“It has a name!” Peter squeaked angrily at the same time.
“You have a lot of nerve, saying that!” James snapped as well.
Regulus looked down at Remus, whose eyes were closed and was resting on Peter’s shoulder. “Aw, it’s sleeping.”
“I’m gonna punch the magic out of you,” Sirius seethed, fighting against James’s hand. “Let go, James!”
“Yeah!” a greasy-sounding voice defended, and James’s eyes widened dangerously. “Snivillous,” he whispered in Sirius’s ear.
Regulus smiled- smiled- as Snivillous Snape strutted into view and took his place next to Regulus. He looked at James and smirked, looking greasier than ever. “Let go of your friend,” he mouthed, “So he can avenge his mudblood pet.”
Sirius STILL didn’t know what that word meant, so he just shot back, “You’re the mudblood!”
Remus woke up with a little jerk of his head and slurred, “Don’t say that word.”
“He defends his own kind,” Severus said pityingly, shooting Regulus a look that Sirius didn’t like one bit. “Good thing he has pureblood traitors to defend him, yeah? Let Sirius go, Potter.”
Regulus smirked, and Sirius had to chant he’s eleven, he’s eleven, he’s eleven in his head to keep himself from picking him up and punting him. “Fight your own brother, Siri,” Regulus whispered, cocking an eyebrow.
He’s eleven, he’s eleven, he’s eleven.
Remus struggled to his feet and held onto Peter’s shoulder. “Let’s just go,” he said, looking at Sirius imploringly.
“Better listen before he makes you,” Snape said quietly, elbowing Regulus’s side.
Remus paused. “What?” he wondered confusedly.
“What?” James repeated angrily.
“What?” Peter asked concernedly.
Oh no, Sirius thought, a mix of all three tones. Snape had seen the Remus Notes.
Regulus snickered, and it occurred to Sirius with another pang of terror that Snape had told Sirius’s brother about the Remus Notes. “Might grow fangs,” Regulus suggested acidly.
“Don’t want him to attack you,” Snape added, looking coldly at Remus. “I bet he could. Just look at the scars on his face.”
Remus stumbled back a little, Peter guiding him to James and Sirius. “What-“
“Oh, he flinched,” Snape noted, and Sirius felt his ears ringing. “And we weren’t even loud or anything.”
“Maybe he’ll disappear again tomorrow,” Regulus thought out loud, and there was the confirmation. Snape had told him about the notes.
Sirius had known that Severus reading the notes would come back to haunt him, but Remus’s confused face showed that Sirius’s slip-up haunted more than just him. Shoot.
“Let’s go,” Peter said, staring imploringly at James and Sirius and tugging at Remus’s arm. “Don’t bother, Sirius.”
Oh, Sirius was going to bother. Younger brothers should never win an argument, and Snape definitely should never win an argument. Regulus and Severus wouldn’t stand a chance. Sirius would… er…
Sirius didn’t know exactly what he would do, but it would be painful!
James looked ready to murder as well, but Remus touched his shoulder and whispered, “James.” He looked ready to cry, still half asleep.
James’s face broke into concern, and he tugged Sirius away quickly. “Don’t get too full of yourself!” he called over his shoulder to Snape and Regulus. “You’ll be sorry soon, Snivillous!”
“Careful, or I might have to write mother!” Regulus called after them.
Sirius was seething. He HATED his brother!
He hated him.
“What was that?” Remus asked nervously as they rounded the corner to the great hall, looking to Sirius with fear in his eyes. Remus Lupin, scared. That was more Peter’s thing. Sirius hated seeing Remus scared. He HATED Regulus!
Sirius looked at James like help. James smiled reassuringly at Remus and said, “Snape is just being a prick like normal. It’s fine.”
Peter looked at Sirius like it is not fine, and the looking circle was complete. Sirius almost wanted to look back at Regulus, but he’d probably just spit at him.

Chapter Text

Remus Lupin

Remus was shaken for the rest of the day.

Who could blame him? He was surprised he was only shaken and not running back home as Sirius smeared pudding down his hair that evening!

But Remus Lupin wasn’t going to let two immature, Slytherin preteens get to him, so he held his head up proudly- and promptly got pudding in his eye.

“SHIT!” he cursed, and Sirius nearly fell over with laughter. “I’m going to murder you, Sirius!”

“I’m like to see you try!” Sirius’s mirthful voice said to his left, but it was interrupted with his yelp as Remus blindly lunged at him.

Peter and James shouted “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!” as Remus slapped Sirius weakly in the face with a fistful of pudding. Sirius shrieked, and Remus felt teeth bite down on his hand. “SIRIUS!” Remus yelled, his free hand smearing pudding down Sirius’s shirt.

“MR. LUPIN! MR. BLACK!” McGonagall’s voice exclaimed reedily, and Remus finally blinked the pudding out of his eyes to see her announce, “Detention, for the next two days!”

Sirius’s eyes darted to Remus, both of them fully coated with pudding. But Remus was getting much better at accepting detentions now that his three friends were absolute menaces, so he just stuck his tongue out at Sirius and mouthed you have pudding in your hair.

Sirius gasped and took a glob of it out to shove it on Remus’s hair. Remus shrieked “GROSS!” and that got a “Three days, boys!” from McGonagall.

James and Peter started clapping.

Remus was just starting to feel fine when he saw Regulus snickering at him and Sirius as they exited the Great Hall. Regulus pointed at Remus as he laughed to Snape, and Remus’s pudding-clad face lit up.

How much did they know?

“You’ve gotta cheer up, mate,” James said, draping an arm around Remus’s shoulders and shaking him lightly. Remus flinched and concealed it with a cough, but James saw right through him. “You’re shaking.”

Oh. So he was. “I’m just worried,” Remus admitted quietly, hoping James wouldn’t tease him. “About Snape and Regulus, I mean.”

James laughed darkly, but not at him. “Oh, you don’t need to be worried.”

Well, now Remus was definitely worried! “What’re you doing, James?” Remus asked suspiciously, wriggling out of James’s grasp.

James took that opportunity to ruffle Remus’s hair, knowing he absolutely hated it. “Nothing yet,” he said dismissively. “No one pushes my friends, that’s all. See you after detention, mates!”

Then he clambered off down the hall to fulfill whatever twisted plan he had. Peter squeezed Remus’s arm and whispered “Good luck” before tripping over his own feet to follow.

Sirius slid against his left side, sighing. “I hate my brother,” he growled.

Remus had almost forgotten that Sirius even had feelings on the matter, which made him feel bad. He’d been so caught up in himself that it slipped his mind Regulus was even Sirius’s brother.

“I’m sure he’ll come around,” he said weakly, completely convinced Regulus wouldn’t.

Sirius scoffed, convinced of the same thing. “Right.”

Detention in McGonagall’s room was always a chance for her to get work done via child labor. Ever since the four of them had come to Hogwarts, her office had slowly started to look spotless from far too many detentions. Remus was sure he knew every inch of it now.

Sirius leaned over and whispered “What is she even gonna make us do? It’s clean.”

Remus was sure their professor was smart enough to come up with something.

Professor McGonagall’s disappointment stabbed Remus like a knife as he entered. She didn’t say anything, just gestured to a pile of old papers they’d have to file. Remus stared at the floor as he passed her. Sirius grinned and waved cheerily.

“You alright, Remmy?” Sirius mocked not even five minutes into the detention.

“We’re not supposed to talk,” Remus hissed back, which he was fully aware indicated that he was avoiding a simple question regarding his health, thanks very much.

Sirius hit him on the head with a manilla folder, bound together by a paperclip that wriggled when someone touched it. “She’s asleep, Rem,” Sirius said, and Remus glanced over his shoulder to see professor McGonagall in cat form, curled up on her desk with a pile of ungraded papers around her.

Sirius snickered. “Bet she’ll have us do those next time. So what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He got hit with the folder again. Argh. “Every time you avoid the question, I’m hitting you,” Sirius decided.

Remus pushed a leathery, winged paper into a file labeled ‘Failed Transfiguration Projects’. The file ate it immediately. “That’s abuse, Sirius.”

Sirius hit him. “And that’s avoiding the question.”

“Fine,” Remus groaned quietly, sneaking another glance at McGonagall before turning to face Sirius and trying to find a way to word his next question. “How- Why did Severus-“

“Snivillous,” Sirius interrupted.

“Yes, fine- and Regulus-“

“We’ll just call him Snake Boy.”

“Fine, Sirius- how did Snivillous and Snake Boy- I mean, why-“ Remus buried his face in his hands, giving up on filing completely. There was no way to word his question without sounding suspicious of himself!

“You’re down,” Sirius narrated. He hit Remus’s back with the folder.

“You’re annoying,” Remus retorted into his hands.

“Thanks, Remmy.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Remus finally managed to breathe and drag his head out of his hands. “Why,” he enunciated slowly, “Did Severus-“

“Snivillous-“

“Merlin, I hate you- and Snake Boy… why did they talk about me like I was…” Remus’s face was on fire, and he was sure of it. “Not human?”

Now Sirius looked uncomfortable, and Remus was immediately suspicious. “You didn’t tell anyone I was a vampire, did you?” Remus asked, feeling fear shoot into him and make shivers go down his spine.

Sirius jumped. “’Course not! Why do you think we tested first?”

That didn’t make him feel much better, but it was a start. “So if you didn’t tell anyone,” Remus said, staring at the paper-filled floor and trying to piece the mystery together, “How did they know?”

He realized his slip up a second too late, and Sirius’s eyes went wide. “Know?” he asked Remus. “Know what?”

Shoot.

Remus’s mind was reeling, trying to come up with a way to stop Sirius’s suspicions. Screw Severus and Regulus; he had bigger problems. “Um…” he stared intently at the paper on the floor and tried to stop his eyes from lighting up. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t mean-“

Remus discreetly snatched the wriggly paper clip off the file he’d been sorting- because desperate times call for desperate measures- and the winged paper shot into the air and gave him a slicing paper cut, right on the chin. “OW!” Remus said shrilly; not making that part up.

McGonagall was still sleeping. Go figure.

Sirius screeched “How’d it get out?!” and batted at it with his own folder.

“I don’t know!” Remus lied, ignoring the stinging on his chin and yanking open the manilla folder, holding it at arms-length and wrestling it towards the winged paper.

Sirius moved on his left and swatted one of Remus’s hands away so he could grab the other side of the folder, and together they forced the winged monstrosity into the file. The file immediately chopped down onto it, and Remus automatically pressed the file shut to his chest. “Sirius,” he warned, as the file strained against his arms.

“Oh, yeah!” Sirius drawled, smirking as he slowly scanned the ground for the wiggly paperclip. Remus was going to kill him one day or another.

Remus saw movement out of the corner of his eye and groaned. “It’s getting away!”

Sirius’s eyes zeroed in on the wriggling paperclip and he dropped to the floor, batting at it like a cat with a laser. Remus would’ve found that funny if his chin wasn’t stinging and there wasn’t a manilla folder trying to eat his arm as Sirius played. “SIRIUS!” he whisper-shouted. “Any day now!”

“Hold your hippogriffs,” Sirius pouted, wrapping his hand easily around the paper clip and rolling over towards Remus.

“Now is not the time to practice summersaults,” Remus snapped, barely holding the folder shut.

“It is ALWAYS the time!” Sirius said indignantly, summersaulting towards Remus with the paperclip pressed in one hand. Remus saw a piece of paper fall out of Sirius’s pocket, but he’d get that later.

The paperclip finally wriggled onto the folder, and Remus sighed in relief and dropped it into Sirius’s unexpecting arms. Sirius grunted and dropped it onto the floor, wiping sweat of his brow like he had been the one doing all the work.

Remus barely remembered what he’d been trying to distract them from, meaning he’d done it pretty well.

Sirius looked at Remus with a grin on his face, and it faltered when he looked at Remus’s chin. Remus remembered the stinging- how bad was it?- and brought a hand up to see.

It came back with a thin trail of blood. Fantastic.

He figured Sirius was going to say something insensitive, but he wasn’t prepared for the grin to come back onto Sirius’s face as he looked at Remus’s bleeding chin and said, “Now we know for sure you aren’t a vampire!”

Oh, for Merlin’s sake. Remus felt his face light up and the next thing he knew, he was running at Sirius in a full tackle, wiping them both out onto the floor and tickling his sides mercilessly. Sirius shrieked against his will, struggling to fight back. “RemUS!” he gasped, squirming as Remus cackled and attacked him. “REMus let me gO!”

“I- hate- you,” Remus gasped as Sirius’s hands finally found their way to Remus’s sides. He resorted to slapping Sirius upside the head and Sirius yelped before slapping him. And then it was a slap fight, and then a punching fight, then a kicking fight, then somehow a thumb war-

“MR. BLACK!” McGonagall’s tired voice yelled. “MR. LUPIN! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SORTING!”

Remus and Sirius turned to her, gasping for air and Remus grinning victoriously. McGonagall’s face grew pale as she saw Remus’s chin, and the anger leaked out of her along with her colour. “Hospital wing, Mr. Lupin,” she ordered.

“Can I bring him?” Sirius asked before Remus had the chance to object.

McGonagall glared at him. “I assume you are using your friend’s cut as an excuse to skip the rest of your detention?” she asked shrewdly.

Sirius nodded obediently.

“Fine. You may go.”

Remus groaned as Sirius dragged him out of the classroom. He hated how McGonagall treated him like he was fragile sometimes. It was one cut. Sirius had laughed about it.

Remembering Sirius laughing brought back Sirius’s stupid summersaults, and- hadn’t something fell out of Sirius’s pocket when he’d left? Remus turned back at the doorway and wriggled out of Sirius’s grip, saying, “You dropped something on your way out.”

Sirius scoffed. “And you’re gonna get it for me? Why’re you being so nice?”

Remus was a nice person, darn it! He flicked Sirius’s forehead (nice people were allowed to do that, shut up) and walked back down into the classroom. The piece of paper- or rather, pieces of paper; eight of them- were crinkled and well-used, and… was that pudding on them? Eww. Remus picked it up with two fingers gingerly and carried it back to the door, calling “I’m going, professor!” to a worried-looking professor McGonagall.

Sirius’s eyes were blown wide with terror, and they were glued onto the papers in Remus’s hands. “Remus,” he said, and his voice came out a few octaves higher in a way that Remus would definitely have to make fun of him for later. “Remus, I- I don’t need it. You can just drop it. Um- just drop it, Remus.”

Well now Remus wasn’t going to drop it! “Why’re you being so strange?” Remus asked suspiciously.

“How about you both go to the hospital wing?” McGonagall asked hastily.

“You’re both being strange,” Remus realized, turning over his shoulder to look at McGonagall. She was looking at the papers, too. So it must’ve been something written on the papers-

“REMUS!” Sirius shouted, absolutely panicked. “Put it down!”

“Hospital wing!” McGonagall said sharply.

That did it. Remus looked down at the paper and read…

His own name. Remus Notes, in chicken-scratch handwriting that definitely belonged to Sirius. Remus froze mid-step and opened the papers.

Eight of them, with little words in the margins in Peter’s font and doodles that looked like James’s. All three of his friends had worked on this.

“Oh,” Remus breathed. His head started to pound.

He leaves one or two times a month, Sirius’s handwriting started. He gets sick a lot, usually after being outside a bunch. (or right before he leaves???) He has cool scars on his face???

No, no no no no. They knew, they KNEW-

He never changes in front of us. Maybe he’s just really ugly or something.

Peter’s scribbly handwriting added ‘maybe he’s just shy’.

He shuts us out for like no reason?

Remus had shut them out a while ago- before Christmas- meaning they’d worked on this for almost a YEAR-

Remus’s ears were ringing, painfully loud. He pressed his free hand to his temple just as Sirius’s loud footsteps echoed across the stone and his warm hands pulled the papers out of Remus’s hands. “Remus,” Sirius’s concerned voice said as he poked Remus’s shoulder. “Remus! Hey, Remmy. You weren’t supposed to see it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, dear,” McGonagall said softly, and Remus felt his vision start to crumble. “You’re dismissed, Mr. Black.”

Sirius left without a fight, right as everything went blurry and sounds became blessedly muffled. McGonagall’s wrinkled hand landed on his shoulder and she moved blurrily in front of him, looking him in the eye and asking, “Do you need to visit to Dumbledore?”

Remus didn’t want to see Dumbledore in this state. Remus needed to go home. He needed to go HOME!

He broke out of McGonagall’s grasp with as much force as he could and barely managed to put one foot in front of the other, crawling his way to the door. He didn’t know he was running until he was on the fifth floor, gasping and catching his breath.

Where was he?

The ringing in his ears didn’t stop, so he kept running.

Sixth floor. Seventh floor. He kept running until he finally hit a wall; literally hit a wall. He hadn’t been looking where he was going, and when his eyes finally stopped blurring up he was in front of a portrait of a man with a rather ugly purple hat, in a deserted corridor. Remus laughed wetly to himself, and found it clear that he was about to sob.

Sirius was suspicious of him. Sirius and James and Peter were suspicious of him! They were so suspicious of him that they’d written pages of notes about it! And McGonagall had known that Remus was going to act this way when he saw it; he knew from the way she kept trying to divert the conversation. Everyone at Hogwarts was either pitying him or suspicious of him, and-

“I want to be at home,” Remus whispered aloud to the deserted corridor.

The statement was so overwhelming- he’d worked so hard to be here, and now he wanted to leave?- that he started pacing, back and forth, back and forth. “I want to be at home,” he repeated, shriller.

He paced again. The portrait seemed to be mocking him. “I want to be at HOME!” Remus said, voice breaking in a silent sob-

And the portrait made a clicking noise.

Portraits weren’t supposed to do that.

Cautiously, Remus blinked back tears and stepped towards the portrait. The man in the hat was smiling at him. Remus touched the portrait, and-

It slid open.

Inside it was a room… no, multiple rooms. A kitchen with a window cracked halfway so none of the smells would affect Remus’s senses. A living room with a huge leafy plant looking like it was about to eat the curtain. ‘Here Comes The Sun’ was playing on an old stereo. Creaky stairs led up to… well, he couldn’t see yet. But he knew exactly what it was supposed to lead up to.

“It’s my house,” Remus murmured. He looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was around. It was so strange. He was still in Hogwarts… and yet, this room let him go home.

His parents weren’t there, but that didn’t matter. It was so familiar, so heart-wrenchingly homey that Remus couldn’t stop himself from boldly stepping inside and slamming the portrait door shut.

So strange. The room had done exactly what he’d required.

Peter Pettigrew

“He’ll come back,” Sirius said, sounding like he didn’t believe himself in the slightest.

Peter didn’t much believe him either. Remus had been gone for an hour now, and Peter was beginning to wonder if he’d been hexed. Or murdered by Madame Pince for trying to live in the library. Or eaten by the giant squid. No option was off the metaphorical table that was Peter’s anxiety.

James raked his hands through his hair, disgruntled. “He knows everything?”

“Everything,” Sirius clarified, looking rather sick. “He read the Remus Notes.”

Peter felt sick as well. Poor Remus! It had probably looked like they were stalking him, when really they were just trying to help…

The mahogany-paned door creaked open, and Sirius and Peter jumped up. James stopped pacing, hand in his hair, and asked excitedly, “Remus?”

“Remus isn’t here,” replied a voice that was definitely Remus’s. “This is Dalton.”

Sirius burst out laughing as Remus/Dalton came bustling into the room. It was Remus, holding huge leaves over his face so they couldn’t see him. Peter walked cautiously up to Remus/Dalton and poked one of the leaves. “Where’d you get that?” he marveled.

Remus/Dalton shrugged, and the leaves shrugged with him. “Weird room I found.”

“Ooooo, can we explore it?!” Sirius asked, jumping up and down.

James elbowed him. “Sirius! Maybe Remus wants to talk about…” he bugged his eyes out. “More important stuff?”

Remus/Dalton nodded. “You mean the Remus Notes.”

Sirius paled.

Peter, who had deemed himself as Remus’s emotional support, grabbed Remus’s shoulder. “We’re really sorry,” he said quietly.

“Speak for yourself,” Sirius said stubbornly.

James whacked him upside the head.

“OI!” Sirius whacked James upside the head for good measure. “I’m sorry that he’s annoyed by it, but I’m not sorry we did it! We deserve to know what’s going on!”

“I’m ‘annoyed’?” Remus/Dalton said in a carefully contained voice. Peter sensed rage and very quickly let go of his shoulder.

James looked at Sirius like see?. Sirius shrugged and defended, “Yeah! It’s not like we were trying to get you kicked out or anything. We were just curious. We want to know what’s wrong.”

“Speak for yourself,” Peter said, not wanting to be part of the blame game.

Remus/Dalton was seething. “You made pages of notes on me!” he burst out, and the Dalton leaves were thrown to the floor to reveal Remus in all his angry glory. “Like I was a lab experiment! D’you know how demeaning that is-“

“No, I don’t know,” Sirius supplied meekly, “Considering I don’t know what ‘demeaning’ means-“

Remus stamped his foot, and Peter decided to save himself and retreat. He backed up, ran into a bedframe, and casually played it off by just sitting on the floor. “It means,” Remus said dangerously, ignoring Peter’s gymnastic show, “Degrading. Humiliating. Dehumanizing. Disparaging. Belittling-“

“We still don’t know, mate,” James said with a small smile.

Remus tugged at his hair, the most wound-up Peter had ever seen him. “Stop joking! You know exactly what I mean! I don’t want to be friends with people that treat me like a lab experiment-“

“We just want to help!” Sirius burst out, taking a few steps towards Remus and making him flinch. Peter drew his knees to his chest and tried not to look scared. “We want to know what’s wrong!”

“Yeah, like the vampire test,” Remus scoffed, nudging his chin towards a spot next to their desks. Peter knew what he was referring to; the night James’s magic mirror had shattered in two on the ground. “I’m sure that was just to help me, yeah?”

“We don’t think you’re dangerous anymore!” James pleaded, putting his hands up and advancing towards Remus. Remus looked wild; backed into a corner. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t a vampire- because vampires drain blood from humans. And we’re humans. Okay?”

Remus did not look like he appreciated being patronized. Peter finally struggled to his feet and extended a hand to Remus, stuttering, “H-how about we go somewhere quieter for a bit?”

Remus took a few deep breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth. “No. If I don’t get this out right now, I’m not going to be brave enough to say it again.”

Well, now Peter was definitely worried! Remus was a Gryffindor! What was he about to say that scared him so much?

Remus turned to Sirius, who, admirably or not-so-admirably, faced him down. “You need to respect my boundaries,” Remus said firmly. “I told you that nothing was wrong. So stop going behind my back ‘for my own good’. I don’t care if you want to help. That’s not right.”

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Remus wheeled around to James and pointed at him. “And don’t try to test me without my permission!” Remus burst out, clearly getting more frustrated now. “If you’re worried about your safety, go to Dumbledore. If you think I’m dangerous, go to Dumbledore! Don’t shove things in my face- or, or write pages of notes on me like I’m a…” His face fell, and James looked remorseful for the first time. “Like I’m a monster,” he finished, his voice losing its bite.

Sirius and James exchanged a look. Remus’s rant had gone from calm to angry to incredibly self-deprecating.

Peter didn’t know what to do.

“Remus,” he said finally, tremor in his voice, but then Remus’s face hardened and he looked at Peter quietly.

“And you,” he said sullenly, “Stop going along with it if you don’t believe it. Either you think I’m scary or you don’t.”

“We don’t think you’re scary!” James yelped. “We were just- we were making sure!”

“We wanted to help!” Sirius repeated, futilely.

Peter was tired of them using the word ‘we’ interchangeably with ‘I’. He looked back at Remus and said, genuinely, “I’m sorry.”

Remus blinked. Raked a hand through his hair, and a tiny Dalton leaf fell out of it. He laughed softly, the sound half sigh. “S’okay,” he murmured. “I’m going to bed.”

And before Sirius and James could stop him, he pushed around them and rushed towards his bed, trying to get away before they interrogated him again. He climbed into his bed and slammed the curtains shut.

“That could’ve been handled better,” Peter said to James and Sirius.

James looked apologetic, but Sirius still had fight in him. “No one handled it wrong!” he snapped.

James glanced at Remus’s curtained bed and whispered, “I’m sorry, Remus.”

Sirius scoffed, but he fell silent when Remus’s tiny voice said “It’s okay. I get it.”

Sirius groaned. “Guess I’m the only one left,” he muttered to himself. Peter watched him shoot a surly glance at Remus’s bed and sigh, “You don’t get it.”

“Enlighten me,” Remus said acidly from behind his curtains.

Sirius didn’t say anything. “I’m going to bed too,” he snapped, and then he stormed off to his own.

Sirius Black

Remus didn’t get it.

Remus didn’t get what it was like to see someone clearly being… hurt, insulted, something; and not being able to do anything about it. Remus didn’t get what it was like to want to help, but have people say again and again that you can’t.

It wasn’t fair.

The next morning, Remus talked to everyone except Sirius. Typical.

“Pass the salt, Peter,” Remus said cheerily, gesturing to a bottle of salt that was clearly next to Sirius. Peter was across the whole table!

Peter eyed the salt (it was three feet away from him!) and gulped.

“Peter,” Sirius whispered, “Don’t you dare.”

“Please pass the salt,” Remus said to Peter.

But he didn’t say Peter’s name, so Sirius was taking advantage. He lunged and snatched the salt before Peter could make a decision and placed it right on Remus’s plate.

Remus looked at it calculatingly. “Peter, please take away the salt.”

“What?” Sirius spluttered. “But- But you wanted it!”

“I don’t want your salt,” Remus said offendedly. Sirius glared down at his eggs.

James saved the day by tugging on Sirius’s arm and saying, “C’mon mate, let’s go practice.”

As much as Sirius didn’t enjoy Quidditch practice, Sirius also didn’t enjoy being given the silent treatment. So he begrudgingly got up and joined James in heading towards the pitch.

The Quidditch pitch was empty, because everyone who respected their health and time was relaxing on a Saturday morning. But James Potter didn’t know what the word ‘relax’ meant, and so there they were.

James tossed Sirius a broom from the Quidditch shed, which Madame Hooch had left unlocked because she too, thought that everyone smart would be inside sleeping in. James grabbed his own, fancier broom and offhandedly remarked, “Remus seems pretty cross.”

Sirius scowled. James had saved him, so why was he bringing up the thing he saved Sirius from?! “Remus will get over it,” he said stoutly, twirling his broom around in one hand.

James threw a rally of quaffles at him over his shoulder, and Sirius ducked. “I dunno. He didn’t take your salt.”

“And that’s his loss. He’s bland by himself- WOAH, watch where you’re throwing that!”

James sheepishly retrieved the bludger that had almost slammed Sirius in the face. “Sorry, mate.”

They were silent for a few seconds, just tossing the quaffles back and forth with the bludger acting as a ticked off monkey in the middle, before James added, “See? It’s not that hard to apologize. I bet you could apologize to Rem-“

“No,” Sirius said, chucking the quaffle at James’s face. It got intercepted by the angry bludger, and they played in silence after that.

Sirius couldn’t help feeling cross himself. Remus was overreacting. Sirius had done all the mature things: explained his point of view, tried to fix the situation, listened to Remus, blah blah blah. The only thing he hadn’t done was apologize, and Remus knew that was never gonna happen! It wasn’t Sirius’s fault that Remus’s expectations had skyrocketed over summer break. Second year was going to be miserable if he kept that charade up.

James must’ve seen Sirius’s scowl form, or maybe he saw the way Sirius tried to bat away the bludger with his hand while twenty feet in the air. “You wanna go in and hex a Slytherin?” he asked, making a face at Sirius and summersaulting in midair just in case the message wasn’t clear that they needed cheering up.

Sirius giggled in spite of his want to be cross. James knew he hated Slytherins and LOVED hexing, and funny faces always helped.

He was about to say yes when he heard a snide voice call up to them, “Excuse me, but we were about to play.”

Sirius almost fell off his broom. He looked down to see Snivillous Snape and Regulus, squinting up at them in full Quiditch gear. What was Regulus doing? He didn’t even LIKE Quidditch!

James looked at Sirius and made another face, this time not as silly. “We were here first!” he said in a childish voice. Sirius didn’t get mad at him for breaking their promise to hex Slytherins. This was a matter of pride, and Snivillous was a Slytherin anyways.

Regulus called to Sirius, in his prim proper new voice, “Just go, Siri. We need a practice space.”

Well, now Sirius wasn’t leaving! No one told Sirius Black what to do and got away with it not heavily angered!

But since there wasn’t much Sirius could do to them from twenty feet in the air, he let go of the quaffle he’d been holding and let it fall to the ground, inches from Regulus’s stunned face. “There. You can practice on the ground.”

Snape’s face went bright red. “I’m going to hex you right back to your freak friend-“

“Don’t call him a freak!” James shouted, and then he’d thrown the bludger down to them.

He’d thrown the bludger.

Snivillous shrieked, really shrieked, and dove out of the way before it would land on him. The bludger started chasing after him and probably would’ve kept going if Regulus hadn’t pulled out his wand and charmed “Petrificus Totalous!”

The bludger fell to the ground in a heap, and Sirius’s mouth nearly fell to his lap. That was advanced magic! Sirius could barely do that, and Sirius was brilliant!

Regulus looked up at Sirius, perfectly arranged hair getting a bit disheveled in the wind. “Mother has owled me five times so far,” he said smugly. “How many times has she owled you?”

Sirius closed his mouth. James whispered across the wind “That’s a weird segue-“

“Father said he wants me back for Christmas,” Regulus continued, Snape smirking as he not-so-subtly caught his breath. “What about you?”

Sirius gritted his teeth.

Regulus’s grin widened and he finished, “I’ve got the family under my thumb, Siri. And our family has power.”

“What does this have to do with letting you greaseheads use our field?” James wondered loftily. Sirius was glad James could speak, because Sirius didn’t think he was capable of any intelligible words.

Regulus shrugged, and Sirius once again had to chant he’s eleven he’s eleven he’s eleven under his breath when he caught the evil glint in his brother’s eyes. “I’m just saying,” he said softly, “That Siri probably wants to let us use the pitch. Yeah?”

Sirius blinked and tried to force himself to be normal. He’s eleven he’s eleven he’s eleven. “Stop calling me Siri,” was all he trusted himself to respond with.

Snivillous smiled greasily (yes, there was a way to smile greasily and Snape had founded it). “This has been fun,” he said lazily, twirling his wand around in his fingers. “But I think you should go now, James. Siri.”

Sirius was going to kill him. He was going to KILL HIM.

James literally held him back in midair, broom zooming in front of him and grabbing his shoulders to slowly lower them both down to the ground. James’s face was concerned as he nudged his glasses up and whispered “Let’s just hex them, alright? No killing necessary.”

Sirius forced himself to breathe. Hexing them sounded fun. Sirius probably shouldn’t be trying to beat people up when he had a wand.

James let go of Sirius’s shoulder and whipped out his own wand faster than Sirius could blink, pointing it at Snape and yelling “Aguamenti!” Regulus and Snape were doused with heavy streams of what Sirius hoped was freezing water.

“Get off the pitch!” James yelled at them, continuing the stream of water like it was a muggle hose that Sirius had seen in his neighbor’s houses. “OFF! THIS IS OURS!”

Snape sputtered, getting a much-needed shower. “I’ll still try out next week!” he yelled stupidly.

“So will I!” Sirius shouted eloquently. At least he was regaining his power of speech.

Regulus looked like a soaked cat. He brushed his sopping-wet, now ruined hair out of his eyes and glared at Sirius with disdain as Snape trudged off. Snape yanked Regulus by the shoulder to follow him and Regulus literally hissed at Sirius and James before leaving. Sirius remembered how he used to tease Regulus about acting like a cat when he was mad, but he never used to be on the receiving end.

James finally let the water die out and turned to face Sirius with an excited gleam in his eyes. “Are you really trying out? I told you it would be fun! We can practice every day, and make game plans and-“

His voice faltered when Sirius pushed out of his grip and strode over to the forgotten Quaffle and Bludger. He unpetrified the bludger and it shot up into the air with a squeal.

He picked up the quaffle and tossed it at James. “What’re you waiting for?” he asked, trying to keep the same level of excitement in his voice.

And he was excited, kind of. Because he was going to get on that Quidditch team and ANNIALATE Severus Snape.

James Potter

Remus was gone again when James and Sirius had gotten back, but James had bigger fish to fry.

Tryouts were on SUNDAY. It was SATURDAY. James was SCARED. James would NOT FAIL. James would capitalize the ends of his sentences until he SUCEEDED IN QUENCHING HIS WORRIES.

Sirius had decided to try out, which was kinda concerning. James had wanted him to try out, yeah. But Sirius hadn’t wanted to; not until Snape and Regulus yelled him into it. James wondered if Sirius was going to resent him for it, but again. He had bigger problems.

Peter seemed like he definitely didn’t have bigger problems- which James should’ve figured, considering Peter couldn’t ride a broom to save his life. “He said he had to use the loo,” Peter lamented about Remus after dinner. “And then he was gone.”

“Productive visit to the loo, was it?” Sirius snickered. James would’ve laughed if his face was functioning through the stress.

Peter wrung his hands like they were wet washcloths. “His excuses are getting worse.”

James absentmindedly smacked Peter’s hands and chided “You’re not going to have hands left if you keep doing that.” Peter pouted and continued to wring his hands.

Whatever. James still had bigger problems to worry about.

Sunday arrived, and James dragged a complaining Sirius and a still-sleeping Peter out of bed and onto the Quidditch pitch. Sirius was a grumbling dead weight, which wasn’t fair because James’s legs were shaking so hard that he could barely support one person. James passed many people in Quidditch uniforms, with faces ranging from cool and confident to about to pass out. He saw Lily and Mary walking next to Marlene, who was decked out in Quidditch gear that was three sizes too big on her. Lily saw James and turned her nose up, but Mary just mouthed ‘good luck’.

Good to know Lily’s burning hatred of him hadn’t spread too far.

They arrived on the Quidditch pitch, and there was a massive line comprised fully of Gryffindors heading towards the bleachers. James looked at the half-asleep Peter, whose head was lolling against Sirius’s shoulder, and decided that he’d be okay. “Bye Pete!” he called, and shoved him into the line. He didn’t hear a sound declaring a great fall, so he was probably okay.

Sirius scowled at the ground. “It’s too early for tryouts,” he muttered under his breath, half sprawled on top of James’s shoulder as James maneuvered them towards the grassy pitch. “If I fall asleep in the air they shouldn’t take points off. S’too early to not sleep. S’too early…”

James snapped under Sirius’s closing eyes and continued dragging them over the grass.

“Oi!” yelled Marlene’s voice from behind them, and Sirius made a weird sleep-snort before jerking off James’s shoulder to stand properly.

Marlene ran up to them and nudged Sirius’s shoulder. (James was impressed that Sirius didn’t collapse at the force.) “Good luck out there,” she said amicably, smiling at Sirius’s bemused expression.

“Why?” Sirius asked bluntly.

Marlene was unbothered. She tossed her brown ponytail over her shoulder and said “Because Sev made it into Slytherin’s team, off his dad’s reputation. I know you guys hate him, and I’d rather like to see the pair of you beat him.”

James had thought that all of Lily’s friends liked Snivillous. That didn’t make sense.

Sirius voiced his six AM concerns with a simple “We don’t need luck. We have anger.”

“He’s half asleep,” James justified hastily, but Marlene just giggled and tossed her hair again- two times too many- before running off to meet the other girls trying out.

Girls were a mystery. A right mystery.

Sirius seemed to think so as well, because he said a three seconds late “G’bye” and leaned his head back on James’s shoulder.

“Mate,” James groaned, shaking him. “I’m gonna throw you off.”

Sirius let out something that sounded suspiciously like a snore, effectively calling James’s bluff.

“Alright!” Their team leader called, cheery smile on his face. He was pretty stout (James almost wondered how he fit on a broom, but he figured that was one of those thoughts that his mother would say “should stay thoughts”) and James was fairly sure his name was Frank Something. The field hushed, anxious.

“You’ve been called here,” Frank Something continued, “Because- well, I supposed you haven’t been called here. Er… you’re here- well, I guess some of you are audience members… hullo, audience! We appreciate you… so anyways, you’ve been called here- er, you know what I mean- because you have exceptional talent on the field. Now we… I mean, I…”

Sirius let out a very loud snore, and James slapped a hand over his mouth.

“I will be determining just how good that talent is.” Frank smiled friendlily. “I mean, you’re all very talented. And I’m sure that all of you are good enough to be on the team. It’s just…”

“Merlin, he’s a mess,” James breathed in Sirius’s ear. Sirius snapped his head up and almost bit James’s hand.

Frank clapped his hands, looking at them all like he’d trained them personally. “Everyone try your best, okay? That’s all I expect. I’m so proud of you already.”

James wrinkled his nose, but everyone else was bursting into applause. Marlene and some of the other girls were awwing and clutching their hands to their hearts. Frank Something positively beamed.

Tryouts started simple. James had to shove Sirius onto the floor- tough love- to wake him up enough so they could work on passing quaffles. Everyone did a group exercise where they chucked quaffles at each other’s faces and said something about themselves. James didn’t see how that was about Quidditch, but Frank seemed high on the socialness of it.

James said that his name was Pames Jotter and that he liked confusing people. Frank nodded approvingly and said “A sense of humor! Wonderful, James!” to which James replied “My name is Pames Jotter, fool.”

Frank smiled nervously and called, “Righto, Pames. Pass it on.”

“I’m Marlene, and I like cats,” Marlene said happily when it was her turn. “I have one at home. Her name is Miffles.”

“AWWWW!” Frank said excitedly. “Now toss it to someone else!”

Marlene chucked the ball at Sirius, and Sirius, who was mid-yawn, brought a hand up to his mouth and accidentally smacked the ball five yards away. It landed squarely on Frank’s face and Frank said a few not very Frank-like words as he fell backwards.

Sirius’s face blanched. “I’m Sirius,” he said meekly. “Usually I don’t hit people in the face.”

They had to have a five minute break while Frank repaired his bloody nose. James forced Sirius not to flee, restraining him by the shoulders and assuring him that no one saw. Everyone saw- obviously- but Sirius was too sleep-deprived to realize.

Frank took it in stride once he’d wiped the blood off his face. He smiled at Sirius, pointing at him with the Quaffle, and said, “I might have big plans for you, my friend.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Sirius asked. James elbowed him in the side.

Frank just winked at him. But James noticed he kept the ball far away from Sirius for the rest of warmups.

There were seeker tryouts, which took forever. There was only one snitch on the field and about five people trying out, and Frank kept resetting the snitch for all the losers. James reconvened with Peter, who saved the day by shoving a piece of bacon down Sirius’s throat and reviving him. Sirius leapt onto the field with a newfound energy and James had to stop him from joining the seeker tryouts mid-game.

Keeper tryouts were easy, because Frank outkeepered all the poor second years trying to audition. He made sure to pat each one on the back and tell them they were doing amazing afterwards, but everyone knew who was getting cast.

Then was chaser tryouts! James and Sirius jumped onto the field, nimbus in James’s hand and borrowed school broom that steered like one of those muggle shopping trollies in Sirius’s. James positioned himself next to Marlene and Sirius, and so it began.

“Now,” Frank said, flying above their heads next to the hoops. “I’m going to guard these hoops- not to say that I’ll be the next keeper! I’m just stepping in, see- and your goal is to get the quaffle… I assume you all know what that is; it’s the little red ball I’m holding here… past me. Remember, all of these players are on your side. The only person you’re trying to stop is me. Use team plays!”

Like James was going to use ‘team plays’. He was in it to WIN!

Frank gave the signal and James kicked off into the air. The quaffle was tossed to Marlene to start, and she did an impressive loop around the hoops and tried to end by throwing the Quaffle through one, but Frank easily batted it away. “Good try though,” he encouraged. Yeah, right.

Marlene passed the ball to a twitchy fourth year, who fumbled it into James’s arms. Perfect!

James did a triple loop- too easy!- and zoomed towards Frank, who was smiling like he was preparing a ‘good try’ speech. At the last second, James let his broom drop five feet in midair and feinted around Frank, tapping his shoulder on his right-hand side and ducking to his left to chuck the quaffle into the hoop.

“YES!” James yelled, doing a few more loops just to make sure everyone understood how good he was. Frank chuckled, looking a bit discouraged. James figured he was just a sore loser.

Next the ball was passed to Sirius, who smacked it out of the air again on impulse. It shot with surprising strength towards Frank again. Frank, not wanting to relive the warmup incident, dove out of the way and the quaffle fell squarely into the hoop.

Sirius blinked. “I scored a goal?”

“YOU SCORED A GOAL!” James yelled. Sirius grinned and started clapping for himself.

Frank recovered his smile with some difficulty and passed the Quaffle to a burly seventh-year. “Not technically,” he wheedled, “considering you didn’t toss it.”

Sirius’s smile fell. He looked like a kicked puppy. He looked like Frank when he'd been hit in the face with a quaffle.

“But!” Frank added quickly, easily catching the attempt to score on him, “There’s still a place for you. Have you considered trying out for a beater position?”

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “I didn’t practice for it.”

“You’re really good at hitting things at people,” James conceded.

And so, when beater tryouts started, James and Peter sat shoulder to shoulder, watching Sirius walk up to the heavy bat like he owned it already.

Peter was coming up with his own cheers, and they really sucked. So far all he had was “Come on, Sirius! Hit that bludger… er, James what rhymes with Sirius?”

James shushed him and kept his eyes on Sirius, who’d just been given a metal bat and was told to hit something (ie; bad things could happen). Sirius put his chin up and gripped the bat in two hands, looking like he was born to beat the crap out of the bludger. James was so proud.

Peter’s face lit up just as the bludger flew at Sirius, and he yelled “Come on, Sirius! Hit that bludger like you’re furious!”

It didn’t rhyme in the slightest, but James let him have it because Sirius did hit like he was furious. James’s mouth fell open in awe as Sirius swung his bat at the bludger and- crack!

It went right through the target dummy they were using. As in, right through it.

James stood up and cheered, along with a few other audience members. Peter shook James’s arm and shrieked “IT WAS MY CHEER! IT WORKED!”

Sirius looked right at them and smirked the Sirius Black smirk, mouthing ‘I was made to do this’.

And he was. He really was.

Chapter Text

Peter Pettigrew

Remus was back on the first of October, looking as though he’d been hit by the Hogwarts Express.

It was the longest they’d ever gone without him, and everyone was suffering from it. James was waiting to bounce Halloween prank ideas off him, Sirius was wanting to give someone the cold shoulder, and Peter desperately needed his best friend. Well, and the better grades that came with him. He needed that too.

James tried to tackle Remus per usual when he walked in the dorm, but Remus just held a hand up and croaked “Not this time.”

James awkwardly stopped mid-tackle and settled for patting Remus on the shoulder. Even that made him flinch. “Where were you?!” James exclaimed loudly.

Remus winced again. “I have sensitive ears, remember?” he muttered, drawing his robes around himself and shivering.

“You look like trash,” Sirius observed, looking him over from his spot at his bed.

Remus turned pointedly away from him. Good to know that was still going on.

Peter smiled and tentatively waved at Remus, and Remus grinned in return. Thank merlin. “I have so much homework to catch up on!” Peter blurted. “So much. I missed you!”

“Ew,” Sirius goaded.

Remus coughed over his words and joined Peter at his desk, looking over his transfiguration notes. His brows furrowed- Peter noticed there was a new scar on his face but decided not to judge- and he asked, “Did we really learn this much while I was gone?”

Peter shrugged. “I didn’t, if it helps.”

“That doesn’t help,” Sirius scoffed. “Peter has the mental capacity of a primary schooler.”

Remus rolled his eyes, subtly- so he could communicate to Peter about Sirius but he couldn’t communicate with Sirius about Sirius… social cues were confusing. “I have some catching up to do,” he said, and Peter finally noticed the bags under his eyes as he sat down next to Peter. “Brilliant.”

“Catching up on school work?” James asked incredulously- about time; James had been quiet for suspiciously too long. He lobbed Remus in the back with his pillow (Remus flinched again) and added “Atrocious! Absolutely terrifying.”

“Did you steal my dictionary?” Remus guessed immediately.

“Possibly! Sirius was tired of you avoiding the word serious-“

Remus rolled his eyes again and called over his shoulder, “Momentous, grave, major, urgent, crucial, vital, you mean-“

“Great,” Sirius sighed. “You didn’t need the dictionary.”

“Of course I didn’t need the dictionary,” Remus muttered to himself. Peter wondered if he should count that as a win: his friends were semi-communicating in the form of insults!

“Anywayssss,” James wheedled, and Peter gave up on his transfiguration to turn and face him. He had that James Potter gleam in his eyes that he’d had ever since he’d got onto the Quidditch team as a chaser. “You need to catch up with US! That’s what friendship is about!”

“I’m catching up with Peter,” Remus defended, putting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. Peter resisted the urge to smile (he was getting pulled into an argument because someone wanted him there! Yay!) and shrugged at James like ‘what’re you gonna do?’.

James scowled and flopped dramatically on the ground, Sirius fashion. Sirius looked offended at the blatant plagiarism. “But you’re not catching up with the other two friends!”

Remus looked straight at Sirius and James and said dryly, “I only see one more.”

Sirius warned “Careful. I’m a beater now; I can slap things at you very accurately.”

Remus’s eyebrows lifted slightly and he whispered to Peter, “He made the team? I thought he wasn’t going to try out.”

“We’re getting away from the important stuff!” James called, now literally rolling on the ground for attention. Peter sometimes thought of him and Sirius as dogs, but of course he’d be too scared to joke about it. “I think we should do something! Something interesting, so Remus can catch up on all of our amazing lives!”

“Remus looks like he needs some rest,” Peter chipped in anxiously, glancing at Remus’s eyebags again (and a new, v-shaped scar on his forehead… what was that even from?).

“Do you need rest, Remus?” James asked, sitting up immediately and cocking his head like a confused dog (proving Peter’s joke would be funny if he’d just make it). “Are you okay? Were you sick?”

“Are you a vampire?” Sirius asked, stupid grin on his face.

Remus took a deep breath, and Peter decided it was his turn to put a hand on Remus’s shoulder. Remus flinched a little, but he smiled at Peter thankfully and mumbled, “I’m fine. Just got a bad flu.”

“You get a bad flu like, every month,” Sirius glowered at the floor.

Remus took another deep breath, squirming his shoulder away from Peter. “Fine,” he repeated, an edge to his voice. “I’m fine. What do you want to do, James?”

James jumped to his feet. Clearly he’d been preparing for that moment since Remus got back. “Sneak into the kitchens!” he said gleefully. “When’s the last time we did that? It’ll be fun!”

Peter thought the term ‘kitchen’ did sound fun, because that led to the food and the food was very fun. He turned to Remus and asked “Can we?!”

“I’m not your mum,” Remus laughed. He ended it with a cough, and Peter decided that Remus was more like that one child that always got ill and slept all the time. Somewhat concerning. “Yes, you can go. Obviously.”

“But are you going?” Sirius asked, swinging his legs off the bed and joining James eagerly at the door.

Remus ignored him.

James sighed. “Are you going, Remus?”

“Sure,” Remus said brightly, making sure to breeze past Sirius on his way out. Peter followed Remus intently, not willing to get left behind by his best friend.

Best friend. Peter had a best friend! One that was gone a lot, and sick a lot, but a best friend all the same.

*

Ms. Norris was patrolling the corridors per usual. All four of them were huddled under the cloak, and they watched anxiously as the cat sniffed the air, then mewed imploringly.

“Does she smell us?” Peter whispered, earning many shushes from James and Sirius.

“She smells me,” Remus sighed, and the bags under his eyes seemed to grow. “Animals love me, remember?”

“Princess,” Sirius snickered, but it turned into a frozen sense of terror as Remus stepped out of the cloak, walked right up to Ms. Norris, and scooped her up as she pawed at him like a curious baby.

Peter stared at him in wonder, although Remus couldn’t see. Remus groaned a small “I hate cats” and beckoned for them all to follow.

It was a strange expedition, Remus leading with Ms. Norris mewing what seemed like affections to him, Sirius and James pressed up against each other whispering Halloween plans, and Peter in the caboose. Wonderful. October was off to a perfect start.

When they arrived at the painting, James nudged Sirius and whispered, “You wanna fall onto it? For old times sake?”

Sirius stuck his tongue out dangerously close to James’s ear and James shrieked, jumping out of the cloak and falling on his rear next to the painting. The pear laughed, very mockingly, and the doorway opened.

Sirius grinned at Peter and whipped the cloak off their heads, balling it up in his robe pocket. “I should’ve been in Ravenclaw,” he speculated.

“For sticking your tongue in my ear?” James snapped, stumbling to his feet.

“It wasn’t in your ear, don’t be a baby-“

Ms. Norris hissed at them from Remus’s arms, and Remus glared at them. “How do you get a cat to calm down?” he asked desperately.

James inspected Remus and Ms. Norris’s position. “First you might want to hold her like she’s not a mandrake, mate.”

“He loves plants,” Sirius grumbled. “He’d be hugging a mandrake. Hug the cat, Remus.”

“Noooo,” Remus groaned, holding Ms. Norris at arm’s length.

“Please, Remus?” Peter begged when Ms. Norris started growling. Peter was not about to be eaten by a terrifying, tiny cat.

Remus shot him a look. “You owe me. By a lot,” he decided, before drawing the cat to his chest and patting her head awkwardly.

Ms. Norris immediately purred and closed her eyes. Remus looked like he was drinking sour milk. Sirius and James looked at each other and James whispered “Wish we had a camera.”

“Shut it,” Remus said through a gritted smile. He patted Ms. Norris’s head again and said, in a much higher voice, “Who wants to go fetch? Do you?”

“Dogs fetch, Remus,” Peter supplied helpfully.

“Shoot. Who wants to play with… uh…”

James pulled out his wand and magicked a piece of string, and Ms. Norris’s ears perked up.

“A thread!” Remus said happily, opening his arms. Ms. Norris leapt out of them and onto the yarn, dragging it down the corridor with scary speed. Remus might’ve just saved their lives. Or at least, their reputations.

“That was hilarious,” Sirius cackled.

“What was that odd sound?” Remus asked coldly, raising his eyebrows at Peter. He brushed the cat fur off his arms. “Is that the brush of wind against my ear? Very annoying, high-pitched wind?”

“I am NOT high-pitched!” Sirius squeaked. James sniggered.

“Kitchens, anyone!” Peter offered loudly, trying to cover up the rumbling of his stomach. It had been three whole hours since he’d eaten, and he was starving.

“Of course,” Remus said properly, brushing past Sirius on his way inside. Sirius wrinkled his nose and whispered, “He smells like cat” to James and Peter on his way inside.

The kitchens were astounding. Instead of sleeping, the elves were already preparing for the Halloween feast. They all flocked to the four, and Peter inched away as they cried, “Tea?”

“Cake,” Sirius corrected, pointing at the huge cake towering above them all, in the shape of a pumpkin. Peter was in heaven.

“Please,” Remus corrected for Sirius, and Peter smiled. Because they were talking to each other again, partially! And there was cake! Lots of cake!

They ended up falling asleep there, James and Sirius with the invisibility cloak on them so that only their heads were visible and Remus and Peter huddled around the Elves’s huge fireplace, after hours of talking and catching up.

Best sleepover ever.

Sirius Black

Remus looked like he was being run over by a truck every morning. Not that Sirius cared or anything.

Sirius did wonder what was going on, though, even if he didn’t care. Remus had huge bags under his eyes every day, and he seemed to only get weaker as the days passed. Maybe he’d been cursed. Maybe he’d been bitten by some dark creature. (Maybe he’d been bitten by a vampire!- but Sirius had promised never to bring that up again.) Not knowing was driving Sirius insane. He was the best at knowing things! He was the knowledgeable king!

James didn’t seem to care about the mystery of it all anymore, just Remus’s health. Every morning he’d look at Remus and say “Mate, you shouldn’t be going to classes-“ and every morning Remus would flip him the bird, tumble out of bed, and require Peter’s assistance to go down the common room stairs.

It was pretty sad. Not that Sirius cared or anything.

Peter seemed to be the only one that could much help, probably because he was Remus’s best friend. (Why he was Remus’s best friend; Sirius didn’t know.) He took notes for Remus (horrible, Peterish notes), walked Remus places, and even made him that horrible tea he liked one weekend! Sirius knew how to make that tea, but Remus was too stubborn to ask him. Ugh.

Sirius decided to do the responsible thing about the Remus Issue: he took all his anger, bottled it deep inside him, and then took it out on the bludger at practices.

“That’s the third one this week, mate,” Frank Longbottom said gently after Sirius smashed through yet another one of the dummy targets. He plucked the bat out of Sirius’s hands and squatted down so that he was Sirius’s level. (Sirius hated it when grown-ups did that.) “I’m glad you’re hitting the targets, but it seems to be with an… anger.”

“Isn’t that how you’re supposed to hit?” Sirius asked, making sure to squat down so he was at Frank’s new level. Ha.

“Not necessarily,” Frank said awkwardly, making a few of the other players snicker. Sirius’s face burned. “Why don’t you go cool off for a few minutes, yeah?”

That was so humiliating! Sirius pushed away from Frank and stormed into the locker rooms, sitting down on one of the benches and scowling. What did Frank know? He’d never even been a beater! He’d never even been unhappy!

James jogged in the room mere seconds later, saw Sirius, and chuckled. “Staring at the ground,” he noted. “A Sirius Black favorite.”

“Shaddup,” Sirius said, biting back a smile.

James did not shaddup (when did he ever?) and instead sat next to Sirius on the bench, tapping Sirius’s knee impatiently with his finger. “When’re you going back out?”

“I’m not,” Sirius said sullenly, almost-smile disappearing. “Quidditch is stupid. Frank is stupid. Being a beater is stupid.”

“That was rather sudden,” James said. The finger on Sirius’s knee went tap tap tap tap tap. “What about Peter and Remus? They’re watching us practice. Pretty nice of them.”

“Mrgh,” Sirius said.

Tap tap tap tap. “You’re still mad at Remus?” James guessed.

“Remus is still mad at me,” Sirius corrected grumpily.

“Remus is feverish half the time,” James reasoned. Tap tap tap tap tap. “I’m pretty sure he’s not in his right mind. He’s probably just ignoring you out of habit now.”

"Mrgh.” Sirius said.

Tap tap. “Come back out and practice,” James whinged.

Sirius shook his head.

“Please?”

Sirius shook his head and said ‘mrgh’. The whole package.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. “I guess I’ll keep annoying you until you do,” James decided cheerfully. Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-

“Fine!” Sirius growled, slapping James’s hand away from his knee and standing up. “I’ll go to stupid practice.”

James grinned impishly and jumped to his feet. “The taps always work,” he said wisely. “Sometimes I do it to Remus to wake him up. It’s hilarious.”

The mention of Remus made Sirius glower, and James added, “But that’s not the point.”

They went back out on the field, and James instantly jogged over to Marlene and the other chasers. Sirius stared at the grass and wondered if he should go to Frank and ask for his stupid bat back. Then he decided against it and stared at the grass. Much better.

Stupid Remus. This was all his fault anyways, for ignoring Sirius for so long. Sirius thrived on attention and Remus KNEW it! How dare he take that away? It was like depriving a plant of sunlight! Sirius Black needed the spotlight, darn it!

Speaking of spotlights, Sirius remembered what James had said about Remus and Peter being audience members to their practice. He looked to his right at the Gryffindor stands, thinking he’d shoot Remus a dirty look or two as therapy.

And there he was, talking to Peter in low tones and swaying on his feet. Sirius noticed three things immediately. One: Remus never swayed on his feet. Two: Remus hadn’t thought to bring a book. Three: Remus didn’t have all his jumpers on.

Sirius was jogging to the bleachers before he could formulate any sort of plan (which was fine; that was usually how he operated anyways). The cold metal steps clanged under him and drew some attention as he climbed up to Remus and Peter, waving his hands like they couldn’t already see him.

He got up right as Remus collapsed.

Peter shrieked girlishly and fumbled Remus’s limp form in his tiny stout arms, juggling him like a game of hot potato. “W-what do I do?”

Like Sirius knew! He was still working on that plan thing!

But he knew people that did know.

“James!” he bellowed, and from across the pitch James perked up. “Frank! It’s my friend, he’s collapsed!”

James knew by ‘my friend’ exactly who he was referring to (Peter wouldn’t collapse unless he’d skipped breakfast), but Sirius hadn’t been expecting the same level of urgency from Frank, who barreled over and up the steps like a muggle firefighter straight into flame. He clomped over to them seconds before James and puffed “We need to get Madame Pomphrey.”

No way was Sirius running that far after already running up the stairs, but Frank just took a battered-looking snitch out of his pocket and set it free, and it soared towards Hogwarts. “There’ve been so many accidents at practice that I programmed a snitch to fetch her,” Frank said offhandedly, kneeling beside Remus’s pale form. “She’ll be surprised to know it isn’t a player.”

“Remus collapses sometimes,” Peter said, sitting down and bringing Remus with him to rest on his shoulder.

Frank blinked. “Oh? Is there a medical condition I should know about-“

“None of your business,” Sirius snapped. Why weren’t they focusing on Remus collapsing?!

Frank shot him a look, and Sirius turned back to glaring at the ground.

Seconds later, Madame Pomphrey arrived on the scene, wand in hand. She saw Remus passed out in the stands and a look of terror passed over her face for a split second before Sirius saw her put her Medic Face on. She shooed Frank and James out of the way and tapped Remus’s forehead with her wand once, and Remus jerked to life with a gasp.

“Did I miss something?” he asked, looking past them and onto the Quidditch field with already-closing eyes.

Madame Pomphrey snapped in front of his face, looking annoyed. “You missed a few minutes when you passed out, yes. Hospital wing, Lupin.”

“But, Madame Pomphrey-!” Remus started. He looked around and saw his friends’ scared faces, and his face fell.

“We thought you were dead,” Peter said anxiously.

“I didn’t,” Sirius said stubbornly. Remus looked at him curiously, and it took Sirius a few moments to realize that his hands were shaking. He clenched his fists a few times to stop it.

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “You alright?”

“You’re one to talk!” James said incredulously, finally lunging forwards and putting a hand on Remus’s forehead (which was just batted off impatiently). “You collapsed in the middle of Quidditch practice! And you weren’t even practicing!”

“Hospital wing,” Madame Pomphrey repeated impatiently.

“We thought you were dead,” Peter the Broken Record said.

“Should I get back to practice, or…?” Frank asked.

Sirius listened to all of that and suddenly realized that Remus didn’t look too good. His amber eyes were darting from voice to voice and his breathing was speeding up. He looked like Sirius at one of the stupid Black Family meetings: confused and miserable.

“I’ll walk you to the hospital wing?” Sirius urged, reaching through the chattering people and holding out his hand. Remus nearly lunged forwards to grab Sirius’s hand and let him be pulled out of the fray.

“Where’re you going?” Madame Pomphrey asked sharply as they fled the concerned mob.

“Hospital wing!” Sirius called. “Like you said!”

The mob was protesting, but they just kept stumbling away until they were pushing past confused Quidditch players and off the field entirely.

Remus was wheezing. They barely managed to get back inside the castle before he was leaning against a stone wall and shoving Sirius away, sliding down and putting his head in his knees. Sirius was fairly sure healthy humans shouldn’t do that. “Remus?” he asked, kneeling down beside him.

Remus still didn’t respond. Good to know he was sentient enough to keep up their radio silence.

Sirius sighed (he skipped practice for this?!) and sat next to him, pressing his back against the stone wall and his right side against Remus. Remus was shivering, but he was also burning up. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

They sat there for a good five minutes, just waiting for Remus to catch his breath. Sirius wrapped his arms around his knees and stared at the stone floors, bored bored bored. He’d rather go back to beater practice than be here…

“Thanks, Sirius,” Remus’s small voice said beside him.

Fine. It was more or less worth it.

“You’re welcome, Remmy.”

“Shut it,” Remus said sleepily.

“Sure, princess.”

James Potter

Remus was gone for fifteen days after that.

He was back on the twenty-third of October, and James and Sirius didn’t bother trying to get him to catch up with them. Remus was a whirlwind the first night back, catching up on absolutely everything he missed in school and writing three essays in three hours before passing out for the night.

The next week passed, and Remus finally started talking to them again about things that weren’t homework-related. “He lives!” Sirius gasped after the first time, and immediately yelped as Remus whacked him upside the head.

When October thirtieth arrived, Remus was finally back to normal and not doing homework for hours on end. (Well, no more than he usually did.) Which was good, because James had a Halloween plan and he intended to implement it.

That night, he gathered them in their dorm room- Remus sitting at the desk still trying to do homework, Peter half-asleep in his bed, and Sirius on James’s bed with his legs in James’s lap- and told them of his brilliancy.

“As we all know,” he started mournfully, “Our Halloween plan last year was… lacking.”

“We shrunk a pumpkin,” Peter chimed in helpfully.

“Thanks for reminding me of that failure,” Sirius said, shuddering.

“It was really boring,” Remus admitted over the scratching of his quill.

James lobbed a pillow at the back of his head, and Remus yelped. “Now’s not the time for studying!” James said indignantly.

“It is when you miss two weeks of school due to-“ Remus wrinkled his nose, “Collapsing.”

Sirius snorted. “Even you can’t make it sound decent, mate.”

James sacrificed the last of his pillows to lob at Peter, who woke up with a snort. “With us, Pete?”

Peter said “Eh?”

“Okay! Anyways, since last year’s prank was lacking, I say this year we keep things simple. So not to scare them with our brilliance, you know.”

(That basically translated to, James had no resources as a second year and at this point they were desperate.)

Peter nodded his head, either wisely or dozing. “So whatdo’we do?”

James clasped his hands together. That was the big moment! “Right! So we’re going to dress up as supernatural creatures!”

Sirius sat up so quickly that his legs almost knocked James in the face. He tackled James in a tight Sirius Black hug, and James almost died of lack of air. “That’s BRILLIANT, mate! We’ll scare the teachers, we’ll scare the students, we’ll-“

James pushed Sirius off him and groaned, because Sirius had come up with the idea in the first place. “Shaddup. We’re out of ideas.”

“Except for my brilliant one,” Sirius finished smugly, shooting a dung-eating grin at him.

Peter looked very confused. “So… we’ll wear costumes like the muggles do?”

Sirius looked offended. “Not like the muggles. Like… better. Like, magical! We’ll spell them to look real!”

Peter nodded, satisfied, and started to slowly sway downwards. James didn’t have a pillow to sacrifice, so he grabbed the shoe off Sirius’s foot and tossed that. Sirius and Peter yelped simultaneously.

Still! Even if it was Sirius’s idea, and even if Peter was still trying to go to sleep, it was still going to be brilliant. Even if Remus… what was happening with Remus?

James nudged Sirius’s shoulder and pointed towards Remus. Peter’s eyes followed too, and instantly widened as they saw Remus basically in shock, staring off into space. He looked horrified. Why?

“Mate,” James said slowly, hating how many times he’d had to convince his friend this. “I think you need to go to the hospital wing-“

“No!” Remus jumped in his chair, knocking the inkwell off the desk and spilling it all over the floor. Sirius whistled, impressed at the mess Remus had managed to make in a split second. Remus stared at the mess pooling around him and took several deep breaths. “I’m fine,” he said, much calmer.

He took out his wand, but James wasn’t about to trust him to clean the mess he’d just accidentally messed and got out his own wand. He said the cleaning spell and the ink floated back into the inkwell. “All better,” James said, fake cheerfulness in his voice. What was going on with Remus?!

Peter stood up nervously and sat down in the chair next to Remus. “You okay?” he asked carefully.

“We don’t have to do the prank if you don’t want to,” James said. Maybe Remus was just scared of supernatural creatures. That would make sense.

Sirius jumped up. “I can make that tea you like!” he announced proudly, running over to Remus’s trunk. “It tastes like acid, but you seem fond so-“

“I’m fine!” Remus said loudly, smacking Peter’s hand off his shoulder and making Sirius slam the truck shut. “We’ll do the creature thing! Just leave me alone!”

James and Peter exchanged a look, having established their caretaker-of-Remus status with each other. “Mate-“ James started carefully.

Remus took some deep breaths, Peter scampering away confusedly. “I’m fine,” he repeated.

What a load of hippogriff dung! Remus looked like he was about to faint again, and everybody knew how that had ended. “Remus,” Peter tried, reaching a hand out.

“Leave him alone,” Sirius spoke up. “Remus, how about you go to the library?”

Another few deep breaths, and Remus shakily stood up. “Thanks,” he whispered to Sirius, brushing past James on his way out.

That was rude! What was up with him those days?!

Peter looked at Sirius in astonishment- Sirius wasn’t known to be the most empathetic person usually. “H-how did you-“

Sirius looked very proud of himself. “You’ve seen me after my mother’s letters. Remus doesn’t have a bat to take his anger out with.” His brow furrowed. “Maybe we should get him one, come to think of it. He seems dangerously close to using his books.”

James still felt horribly guilty, even if he was a bit miffed at Remus. “He really didn’t like that Halloween plan,” he muttered to himself. Why not?

Sirius shrugged, and James realized that his ‘muttering to himself’ voice was no different than his Quidditch voice. “Remus is Remus.”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed solemnly. “Wish we knew how to help, though.”

James was already thinking of that. He wasn’t about to let one of his best friends feel… whatever Remus was feeling… on his watch!

*

Halloween arrived, and costumes were fought over. After the whole mirror incident of September, no one was about to risk going as a vampire. That left a very limited selection of actually scary dark creatures. They ended up drawing straws, doing rock-paper-scissors, and having a pillow fight while Remus was in the library, and Peter ended up losing all three. He was going to dress up as a pixie, which he actually seemed pretty happy with.

James and Sirius had an epic wand fight that ended instantly after James almost poked Sirius in the eye, and James had to go as a basilisk while Sirius got the actual cool costume. No fair. It wasn’t like James had known Sirius’s eye was about to get poked!

“I don’t even like snakes,” James whined as he magicked scales on a brown burlap sack he’d stolen from Herbology.

“Neither do I!” Sirius exclaimed gleefully, happily charming claws onto his fingernails. “You almost poking my eye out was the best thing to ever happen to me!”

“The bar was very low,” Peter remarked, cheery smile on his face as he flapped his new transfigured wings a few times.

“I’m going to allow your newfound confidence,” Sirius gracefully decided. “If only because Peter the Pixie sounds entertaining.”

He was right, but James was too busy sulking over his burlap-scaled sack to agree.

Remus came back the next day- literally spent the night in the library, what a weirdo- and seemed to be a lot happier. He went through classes normally, he talked with him normally- James almost wondered if he’d actually been at the library. Could libraries make a person that happy?

Soon it was time for the Halloween feast, and despite his burlap sack, James was excited! Remus hadn’t seen their costumes yet, and he was going to be amazed!

“What’re you going as?” Peter enthusiastically asked Remus, who was studying as they worked (of course).

Remus scratched something out with his quill. “Remus.”

“Boo!” Sirius called from behind his bed. “Unoriginal!”

“I’ll have you know that no one has ever gone as Remus Lupin for Halloween.”

“But loads of people go as themselves!” Sirius groaned, putting the final adjustments on his costume. James struggled to fit into his burlap sack and hopped over to where his candy fangs were.

“I’m not going as myself,” Remus said offensively. “I’m going as a characterization of Remus Lupin. There’s a difference.”

“There is no difference- AHH!”

Sirius had fallen off of his bed again, trying to tug his furry boot on his foot. Peter laughed, James made a kind of ‘har har’ sound through his huge fangs (they were surprisingly restricting), and Remus finally turned from his homework.

The color drained out of his face. “You’re a… you’re a werewolf,” he stated.

Sirius rolled his eyes and catapulted to his feet again, boots on. “No. I’m the characterization of a werewolf. There’s a difference.”

“Werewolfication,” Peter corrected.

James was scrutinizing Remus’s face. Was he going to have another freakout? “You’re scared of werewolves?” he guessed.

Remus eyed Sirius wearily. “Yeah,” he said, almost like he was deciding for himself. “Yeah, I am.”

Sirius snarled with a playful smile on his face, and then he lunged at James, tackling him and scratching at him with fake claws made out of… James was pretty sure it was chocolate. “You should be scared of me!” He growled, and James snorted and pushed him off.

Remus looked like a ghost. Maybe that was his Halloween costume.

James didn’t have time to think about it too much, because just then Peter jumped on top of Sirius- Sirius let out a very un-werewolfy noise and fell back on James- and they were fighting the way only three immature twelve-year-olds could, all flailing arms and “get your foot out of my face, Sirius!”.

James didn’t realize Remus was leaving the room until he was gone.

Remus Lupin

This is the third time this week, Remus chided himself as he stood outside the knight portrait.

But he couldn’t help it. Remus Lupin’s life was getting turned upside-down-inside-out every day. His friends were getting closer and closer to the truth, he just knew it, and Remus had always been a horrible liar. If they got to the truth, there would be no lying about it.

And then he would have to leave.

But Remus almost wanted to leave. His last summer had been boring, yes, but it had also been normal. A little slice of routine; of peace where nothing ever changed. Remus had always liked his routines. And at Hogwarts, nothing was normal. Not even the staircases could stay constant for more than a few minutes. Remus didn’t like that; didn’t like all the change. And he knew he was too old to keep having these ‘meltdowns’ every time someone got too close to changing his life… but sometimes it just didn’t feel like that was in his control at all.

I want to be at home I want to be at home I want to be at home, Remus chanted to himself, pacing past the portrait in the abandoned seventh floor.

The door slid open- Remus was getting used to it now; getting used to it revealing a perfect replica of his living room and kitchen.

Remus boiled a cup of tea for himself- just like his mum always made for him, just like normal- and sat in the living room next to a shockingly accurate replica of Dalton. It was a little bit of a friendlier replica, though. Remus wondered if it was Dalton’s kinder sister or something.

Remus sat and thought.

He was missing the Halloween feast. He’d skipped it the year before, just because of how loud it was. He usually didn’t do too good with unfamiliar situations anyways. Maybe it was better just to stay in the strange room/his house.

On the other hand, his friends had been expecting him. They might not understand him in the slightest, and he would bet that they were getting annoyed with all his running away… but they were still thinking he’d show up.

The Beatles crooned through the Lupin’s staticky radio. Oh, look at all the lonely people…

“Rude,” Remus muttered to it, and got up to change the song.

Sergeant Pepper’s lonely, Sergeant Pepper’s lonely, Sergeant Pepper’s lonely hearts club-

“Ugh.” Next.

Help! I need somebody- Help! Not just anybody- Help-

All you need is love-

Come together, right NOW-

I get byyy with a little help from my friends!-

“I get it!” Remus yelled, turning the radio off entirely. “I’m going to the stupid feast.”

Exiting the room almost felt nauseating. Back to the same uncertainty; the same lack of routines. But his friends were expecting him, and he wasn’t going to let them down. Even if the Beatles had had to gently nudge him to that conclusion.

The Halloween feast looked amazing, if you weren’t Remus Lupin. Remus was sure that objectively, the giant pumpkins and stacks of cakes and chattering costumed people would be brilliant, but the only thing running through his mind was darn you, Beatles. Come together, my-

Someone bumped into him, and Remus’s senses screamed PINK!

A sickly sweet, tiny voice said, “I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?”

PINK PINK PINK PINK PINK! Said Remus’s helpful senses. There was SO MUCH PINK.

Remus blinked and tried to sort out what on earth the tiny voice was wearing. She had on a bright pink dress that had more pink sequins on it. No wonder Remus’s senses were shrieking at him. Her hair was covered by a pair of furry pink ears, also sequined. She was a disco ball. It hurt Remus’s head to even look at her.

The girl laughed at Remus’s pained expression. She couldn’t have been older than a first year. “Banshee got your tongue?” she giggled. “There is one somewhere in the room…”

Remus squinted past her and tried to look for his friends, to get away from the pink monstrosity. “I’m just trying to find my friends,” he finally managed. “Have you seen a burlap sack with candy fangs in here? Actually, he might’ve already eaten the fangs-“

The girl gasped rather loudly, and Remus cringed. “You’re Remus Lupin?” she asked, almost shouting it. PINK PINK PINK PINK.

Remus’s head pulsed. “That’s me,” he forced out. “Goodbye.”

He tried to push around her, but the first year grabbed his hand. No no no no no no, “I’m Delores!” the girl chirped happily. “Delores Umbridge!”

Remus’s senses were about to overflow again. He hated Hogwarts sometimes, he really did. “Okay,” was all he could choke out before he wrenched his hand out of her grip and shoved through the crowd. He’d rather be anywhere but with her bright pink dress and shouting words.

The girl was not about to take a hint. Remus heard her footsteps behind him as he navigated the crowd. “You’re really cute,” she said shamelessly.

“Okay,” Remus repeated dully. Where were his friends?!

“The boys my age are so immature,” Delores continued, right on his metaphorical tail. “They think girls have cooties.”

“People in my year still think that,” Remus said bluntly, hoping that would dissuade her.

“But not you,” she giggled. Darn it. “You’re mature and quiet and it’s really cute when you get nervous-“

“Remus!” shrieked a familiar girl’s voice, and Remus thankfully reached out and let Lily snatch him into the crowd, away from Delores.

Lily gripped his shoulders and pulled him into a hug before he could stop her. She was dressed as a Lily flower (of course) and her perfume made Remus want to sneeze. She squeezed him tight and whispered, “How long should I continue this to crush that girl’s hopes?”

Thank goodness for Lily. Remus sagged against her shoulder and weakly wrapped his arms around her waist. “Is she gone yet?”

“Nope, but she looks pretty sad. Oh. Yeah, she’s gone now.”

“Okay. Good.” He pulled away from her and she winked at him, helpfully. He’d never been so grateful to have a friend that understood the complexity of girl code.

Marlene jogged over, Mary by her side. Marlene was in her Quidditch outfit, Mary in a very convincing cat costume. Marlene punched Remus in the shoulder and said, “Ladies man in second year!”

Mary snickered, and Remus’s cheeks flushed bright red. “I don’t like her, anyways!” he stuttered.

Lily looked at him sympathetically. “I know. You looked like you needed rescuing.”

“Thanks, Lils,” he said appreciatively, forcing a smile. “D’you know where James is?”

Her expression soured, and she rolled her eyes. “Can’t believe you’re friends with a burlap snake.”'

“He informed me that it’s a basilisk, not just a snake,” Marlene corrected mockingly.

Mary rolled her blue eyes. “He informed everyone.”

“Yeah, he lost a bet,” Remus said. He turned his eyes pleadingly to Lily. “Please? They’ll be mad if I don’t show up.”

“You need better friends,” she said bluntly. “Just stay here with us!”

“Yeah!” Mary cheered. “We can talk about boys! Er. The girls can talk about boys and you can talk about how you hate it when we talk about boys!”

“That doesn’t make it sound appealing,” Marlene mumbled to her.

Lily sighed dramatically. “Fine, Lupin. He’s by the great pumpkin, scaring first years with Sirius’s werewolf costume.”

Remus’s heart did a few flips at the mention of the werewolf costume. He couldn’t believe how realistic his friends had made it look. They really were too good at magic. It sent shivers down Remus’s spine, along with a feeling of animalistic hatred that he didn’t know he possessed…

“Thanks, Lily,” he said for the second time that night. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” She assured him.

“We know you know,” Mary groaned at her.

Remus waved goodbye to them and set off towards another sensory nightmare: the giant pumpkin.

James, Sirius, and Peter were telling the first years around them some sort of ghost story. Remus caught something about a banshee, a ghost, and an annoying toad named Snivillous Croak that gets stepped on repeatedly. Peter had a circle of little admirers poking at his wings, and he’d never looked happier.

James saw Remus, and his face lit up. “The end!” he cut off abruptly, bowling over a few first years to run at Remus and drag him over. “What took you so long?”

Remus decided to lie about the room he’d found once more. “Just went to the library.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus pointedly didn’t look at his furry costume. “Of course you did.”

Remus didn’t trust himself to respond to the life-like werewolf, so he decided to look across the scattering first years and call “Hey, Pete!”

“I love these wings, Remus!” Peter yelled happily, spinning for a few gawking first years. “I think I’m going to keep them!”

“He’s been like that all evening,” James grumbled.

“I think he should keep them,” Sirius said helpfully. “New way for him to make a fool of himself. Remus, why won’t you look at me?”

Remus was hoping it wouldn’t have been obvious, but okay. He kept his gaze on Peter and said, “Like James said. I’m scared of werewolves. That’s all.”

“Hm.” Sirius didn’t sound convinced. But Remus would never know because he was never going to look at Sirius again.

James sighed. “This has gone on for too long,” he decided, and grabbed Remus’s arm. Remus barely had time to protest before James was dragging him and Sirius behind the giant pumpkin, Peter confusedly jogging to catch up. Remus fought out of James’s grip- he was tired of being pushed and prodded at, thanks- and James motioned for him to sit down. He did and immediately regretted it when Sirius sat next to him and ate one of his chocolate werewolf claws.

Peter caught his breath, sitting silently next to Remus and looking at him concernedly. “Alright?”

Remus shrugged. What was James doing?

It was empty behind the pumpkin, no one there but them. James sat down in front of Remus and looked right at him appraisingly. “We said something to upset you,” he said. It wasn’t a guess.

Remus shrugged.

Sirius ‘hm’ed again. “Do you wanna go to the library again?”

“No!” James said before Remus could respond. “No library. Let’s fix it, right now.”

Remus hoped it wasn’t obvious how fast his heart was beating. “Fix what?” he asked.

“We know you’re a werewolf,” James said with a sneer. “Sirius’s costume was supposed to scare you into admitting it, but you’re too much of a coward. So now we’re going to curse you behind this abandoned pumpkin and go to Dumbledore and get you kicked out and-

“Remus?” James asked.

Remus blinked, feeling his chest already begin to tighten. Peter wordlessly grabbed his arm.

“This is what I’m talking about!” James said exasperatedly. “You seem scared of us, and I want to fix it!”

So they didn’t know. Remus forced himself to take deep breaths. Peter’s grip on his arm grounded him. “How?” he whispered.

James pushed his glasses up. Even his hands were bedazzled with ugly brown snake scales. And Remus had been right; his candy fangs were long gone. “We’re a group,” he said, like it was obvious. “We’ve been a group for a year and a half now. And all groups need names. And Remus, you’re the only one who knows big words, so…”

“Me?” Remus croaked out, unable to wrap his head around what James was saying.

James grinned. “Why not? You’re great with big words.”

“Princess,” Sirius said, but it seemed almost nice.

Peter squeezed his arm. “What do you think?”

Remus, for what might’ve been the first time ever, was grateful for how empathetic James was. Remus loved words. Remus could work with words. He already felt his mind buzzing, trying to come up with synonyms and descriptors of what their group was about.

Sirius drew his furred knees to his chest and said “I’m thinking something about pranks.”

“Chaos,” James chimed in.

“Anarchy,” Peter said.

“We could be called the Anarchists!” Sirius said excitedly.

James patted him on the head sympathetically. “That’s already taken.”

“Aww.”

The raiders, plunderers, corsairs, brigands, ravagers, m…

“Marauders,” Remus said.

Sirius whistled. “That’s a big word.”

“It sounds so official,” Peter marveled.

James positively beamed at Remus. “It IS official! Marauders it is!”

James had been right. That had fixed it, at least a little.

“Marauders,” They all chanted, raising imaginary cups and clinking them.

Chapter Text

Sirius Black

“Marauders,” Walburga Black sneered, stalking up to Sirius with fire in her narrowed grey eyes (like his, but angrier). “What a cute group of mudbloods you have there, Sirius.”

Sirius’s breath quickened. He looked around Walburga and saw that they were back in the Black family mansion.

It made perfect sense. How could Sirius think he’d ever left? He was always there; in his dreams, in his nightmares, every time he saw his brother’s face-

“Regulus,” Sirius whispered under his breath, scanning the room. “Regulus, where are you?”

Walburga cackled. “Regulus,” she mocked Sirius, grinning with yellowed fangs. “Regulus, darling, why don’t you come out? Your brother is waiting…”

A shadow materialized in front of him, and Regulus stood next to his mother, looking smug. “Hi, Siri,” he said softly.

Sirius felt a blinding rage. His eyes probably looked as angry as his mother's now. (The thought scared him.)

“Don’t call me that.”

Walburga smirked, drawing an arm around Regulus’s shoulders. Sirius shivered. Don’t touch him. “You could’ve been one of us,” she murmured to Sirius, and portraits of the Black Family Tree materialized behind her. “You could’ve been great, and now you’re running rampant. Defending pureblood traitors, mudbloods, cowards…”

Sirius pulled his eyes away from the family tree and glanced pleadingly at Regulus. “You’re being brainwashed,” he said desperately, taking a step towards him. “Please don’t listen to her. You were my best friend.”

Walburga wasn’t doing anything. Sirius wondered why she hadn’t attacked him by now.

Then Regulus pulled out his wand and whispered "Crucio."

Blinding pain flashed through Sirius’s senses and he was falling down down down pictures of the family tree floated around him, whispering taunts in his ear- James and Remus and Peter were reaching for him and then they were falling to the ground and Regulus and Walburga were standing over them, wands pointed at Sirius- dark hoods shrouded them and a blurry pale face pushed its way in between them and shot Sirius a thin smile and Sirius was falling-

Sirius jerked upright and flung the covers off, panting. The dorm was dark, and Peter’s snores filled the room. He must’ve woken up before he could scream.

Sirius looked at his hands. They were coated with sweat.

His shaking legs stood up out of bed and limped towards the washroom. He cast a quick ‘lumos’ and looked in the darkened mirror.

His forehead was scrunched up, there were tears falling down his face and blood on his lips from biting back screams. Absolutely wonderful.

Sirius wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep; not after that. Not after hearing his brother saying crucio in that unforgiving voice, not after falling and falling with the family tree mocking him as he sank…

No. He wasn’t going back to sleep.

Sirius stumbled out of the bathroom and saw that his bed was absolutely disheveled, sheets on the floor and curtains torn open. Sirius Black was absolutely against making beds, and he wasn’t about to change his mind just because he was minorly traumatized. He looked at Remus’s bed and Remus was asleep. For once.

Peter’s bed was vibrating with snores and Sirius was not about to go there.

Before Sirius knew it, he was tugging back the curtains of James’s bed and crawling onto it. James was drooling. Ewww. Sirius poked him a few times and he opened his eyes with a groggy “Erg?”

Sirius opened his mouth to respond and realized that it had stopped working.

James sat up slowly, groping his bedside table for his glasses. He slid them on- a little crookedly- and blinked at Sirius under the faint lumosed light. “Creepy much, mate?” he joked, cracking a smile.

Sirius didn’t laugh, because all of the sudden he was about to cry.

James’s smile disappeared and he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Sirius with a new concern. “You’re bleeding,” he noted.

Nod. That was all he could do. Who’d have thought Sirius Black wouldn’t have anything to say?

James was clearly fighting off sleep. Sirius could almost see the am I hallucinating? in his eyes. He made a little noise that sounded like a yawn and guessed, “Nightmare?”

Duh. Nod.

James scooted over, opening the blankets to Sirius with a faint upturn of his lips. “Regulus again?”

Sirius climbed in next to James, willing himself don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. “Is it that obvious?”

The second he was in the covers, James wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist in the way only a naïve, exhausted twelve-year-old could. Sirius felt like he was about to break in half. It was so confusing, to be hugged after all of that…

“It’s not obvious,” James denied, burying his head in Sirius’s shoulder. “I just know you. Duh.”

Sirius choked out a laugh and hugged James back, weakly, listening to his best mate’s steady breathing and thinking about how he’d used to hug Regulus like this, when the littler boy had had a nightmare about his mother and came running into Sirius’s room in the middle of the night. Sirius could almost see it; the little eight-year-old boy in battered green pajamas, clinging to Sirius’s shoulders and muttering nonsensical things about Walburga and Orion into Sirius’s shirt.

Sirius had used to run his hand through Regulus’s sweaty hair and mumble, “I’m right here, Reg.” and Regulus would sob, “Siri? Could we run away?” and they would stay up half the night talking about their plans to get out; get to a new life, but the next morning they’d be too tired to do anything and-

James pulled away and looked up at him with a concerned pout. “D’you want to talk about it?”

Sirius felt that ghost of an eight-year-old boy slip out of his grasp with a whispered ‘crucio’ and a family tree tornado. “I just want to sleep without-“

“Nightmares,” James said sensibly. Sirius blinked furiously and nodded.

Silence, and then James elbowed him semi-playfully. “Goodnight, then. Nox.”

The light went out, and they were left in darkness, James pressed against Sirius’s left side. James’s head lolled against Sirius’s shoulder as he fell asleep.

Sirius couldn’t.

It was so strange; how he could have those horrible nightmares and then wake up to… normalcy? How he could see Regulus’s betrayal and his friend’s pleading voices, only to have them all disappear? It didn’t make sense. Maybe that was because they were nightmares, but still. It didn’t make sense.

“James?” Sirius murmured.

James’s head snapped up off Sirius’s shoulder. “Yeah, mate?”

Sirius’s voice was less than a whisper, echoing off the curtains in the dark. “Does Regulus hate me?”

It was a loaded question and Sirius knew it, but that didn’t stop him from asking. He trusted James’s judgement more than he trusted his own.

James hesitated for awhile. Sirius didn’t exactly blame him.

Finally he cleared his throat and said “I don’t reckon brothers can ever hate each other, Sirius.”

*

The next morning was Sirius’s birthday. Hurrah.

Sirius didn’t feel much older, but he felt a bit more exhausted. He wondered if that was what growing up was; slowly feeling more and more tired until you die.

“That’s right morbid, mate,” James said amazedly when Sirius told him his revelation.

Breakfast was an… interesting affair. Peter and James had started off the day with an improvised Happy Birthday tap dance, and Remus was watching with amusement from the sidelines.

“It’s my birthday!” Sirius said offendedly when he saw Remus’s utter lack of effort.

Remus pointed at James and Peter’s tap dance ‘skills’. “I noticed.”

Sirius was halfway through a stack of pancakes so tall that it hid the Slytherin table when Remus leaned over and whispered “Regulus alert.”

Sirius wheeled to the right and saw Regulus looking at James and Peter’s interpretive dance moves with widened eyes. He skirted around them (almost getting hit in the face by James’s ‘butterfly exiting chrysalis’ move that involved very violent hand movements) and stood awkwardly next to Sirius, who absolutely refused to get up so to make Regulus more uncomfortable.

“Happy birthday,” Regulus finally said.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “What a heartfelt message. You’re blocking the dance.”

Regulus sighed and leaned down so he was at Sirius’s level. UGH. His younger brother shouldn’t be able to do that! “Sirius,” he whispered, his familiar grey eyes looking almost worried. “It’s getting closer to December, and mother’s thinking of sending you away again.”

Sirius shuddered. “I won’t,” he whispered, on impulse.

Regulus looked around conspiratorially, like Peter and James’s flopping would give him away. “Then don’t go,” he whispered. “Tell them you’ll stay at Hogwarts to catch up on studies. Run away, to James’s or something.”

Sirius’s mouth felt horribly dry. He felt like he couldn’t speak, again. He wasn’t going to go back to Durmstrang. He couldn’t.

“Why’re you telling me this?” he forced out.

“Birthday present,” Regulus said dryly.

“TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” James and Peter finished with an epic finale in which James attempted to pick Peter up and fell over.

Regulus stood up and walked away, cloak billowing behind him. Remus awkwardly started clapping.

Sirius was SO confused.

Peter sat back up and yelled “I’M OKAY!”

“I’m not,” James groaned faintly on the ground. “Next time you’re carrying me, mate.”

As Peter leaned over to check on James, Sirius stood up and stumbled confusedly towards the exit of the great hall.

*

Remus’s voice sounded behind him as he climbed the stone corridors leading to… somewhere. “Sirius.”

Sirius ignored him. If Remus could do it for a month, Sirius was allowed to do it for a minute.

“Sirius,” Remus sang, catching up to him and nudging his shoulder.

Sirius kept walking. They were in an empty hallway. Everyone was still eating breakfast, except for Sirius, who had to abandon his perfectly good pancakes for this-

“SIRIUS!” Remus said, snapping his hands in front of Sirius’s face.

Sirius whirled to his right and glared at him. “What?!”

Remus didn’t flinch. He smiled cheerily and held up what looked like a hairtie. “Your hair’s getting in your face,” he noted.

That was true. Sirius’s shoulder-length hair always got in his face, except for when he put it in a braid like Remus had taugh- oh, okay.

Sirius took a breath in and finally nodded. “Alright.”

There was a stone bench at the end of the corridor, but Remus didn’t even bother. He pulled Sirius to sit down in front of him, crosslegged on the floor. Sirius focused on the wall in front of him as Remus’s fingers hesitantly combed through his hair, pulling it tight in some sort of knotted fancy thing. “You okay?” Remus asked softly as Sirius shivered.

“Fine,” Sirius mumbled, feeling not at all fine. “I… I don’t know why I’m so… I’m stupid.”

“You’re not,” Remus murmured. “You just have a horrible family, that’s all.”

Sirius laughed, but it came out all choked and weird and then he was kind of sobbing. Remus let out a quiet “Oh” and let go of Sirius’s hair, opting for a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius buried his face in his hands. “I hate them.”

“Shhhh,” Remus whispered, and then his arms were wrapped uncomfortably around Sirius’s stomach, his head on Sirius’s collar. “Sirius. It’s okay.”

“I don’t want them anymore,” he sobbed out, tears dripping onto the stone floor and disappearing into the cracks. “I want a new family.”

“We can be your new family,” Remus said matter-of-factly, squeezing him once, firmly. “Marauders, remember? You don’t need them, not when you have us.”

James Potter

After that debacle, James figured they needed a boost of morale.

The problem was, no one was up for it. Remus was still acting all mysterious and leaving randomly, Peter was still freaking out at minor questions directed to him, and Sirius was still being freakishly morbid. James was right miffed. He couldn’t boost morale if no one would help him boost it!

“I’m going to the owlery,” he said one Saturday, as his friends sat around in various stages of depression.

“Have fun,” Peter tried.

“Okay,” Remus said bleakly.

“Ugggghhh,” Sirius groaned.

Business as usual. James smiled cheerily at all of them (the good vibes instantly getting sucked into Sirius’s whirlpool of doom) and left.

Once again he was aware that Hogwarts most definitely needed a map. Or more specifically, the marauders needed a map. Peter got lost on a daily basis, and James was hardly any better (as Sirius and Remus loved reminding him).

James couldn’t help but think that there must be an easier way to get to the owlery instead of trekking up five staircases before going down two, but he couldn’t find it in all his brilliance. And hadn’t the marauders/Remus found a mirror that led to a passageway they hadn’t explored at ALL?! Atrocious! Hogwarts was confusing, and clearly their pranks were paying the price because of it. Think of all the damage that could be done if they only knew their way around…

But James had no idea how to do that, so he begrudgingly put his brilliance away for the sake of acceptance. Also, Richard needed some treats.

Richard was clearly miffed at him from the way he screeched when James walked in. He was sitting angrily on a tall perch and James, for not the first time when it came to Richard, was worried the owl was going to decide now was a good time to take a dump. Stupid owl.

“Here, boy!” James called encouragingly.

Richard glanced down, unimpressed.

James scowled. “Stop being a prat!” he tried instead.

Nothing. Richard casually sharpened his talons against the wood post he was on.

Fine. “I have food,” James bribed halfheartedly.

In a swoop of feathers and talons, Richard went down to meet him, appeased.

“I hate you,” James seethed as Richard sat unabashedly on his head. “And you smell like owl dung. And I’m starting to think you aren’t deserving of biscuits.”

Richard hooted something that sounded suspiciously like expletives. Fine. Be like that.

As James was pulling a pack of biscuits out of his bag, a shrill voice behind him said “Not you again!”

Aha! Someone to cure James of his boredom! James excitedly dropped the biscuits and Richard dived to rescue them with his mouth. James wheeled around and grinned, “Evans! What a pleasant unpleasancy! I just thought of that, isn’t it smart?”

Lily wrinkled her nose and fluffed her hair in disdain, but James didn’t care. Annoying Lily was always fun! “Shove off, James,” she grumbled. “I’m just here for August.”

“Really?” James wondered. “I thought you tracked me down in the owlery just to talk to me. How rude.”

“Shove off,” Lily groaned, stalking past him and to her owl’s cage. August was ruffling her feathers and looking down at Richard like the sheer betrayal. Richard seemed to be playing hard-to-get with their friendship. Or maybe he just really wanted James’s biscuits. Or both.

“What happened to our owls?” James blurted out, because he was not about to pass up a chance at conversation with people who weren’t wallowing in misery. “They used to be best friends, right? August isn’t even screeching anymore.”

Lily begrudgingly glanced at him, holding a hand up for August to obediently fly to, like normal owls did when they weren't Richard. “She made a new friend this summer. Sev’s owl.”

James tried his best to be civil, even though- ugh, Snivillous. “Where’s Sni- Sev’s owl now?”

She scowled at his (amazing) show of restraint. “Had to leave it at home,” she mumbled, sounding almost hesitant to tell him. A mystery! James hadn’t had one of those since Remus screamed at them for making him the mystery!

“Why?” James asked immediately. “Was it because it wouldn’t fly to someone who insulted the amazing James Potter? Or maybe it was because his hair was so greasy that the owl slid off every time it tried to perch-“

“I really wish you would stop being so mean to him,” she huffed, glowering as she tied a letter to August’s left talon. “He doesn’t have it easy, you know.”

“Is that why he left his owl behind?” James asked unapologetically.

Lily groaned. “It’s none of your business.”

But James wanted it to be his business, because he was bored! Why did personal secrets have to be so personal and secrety?

“Fine,” James said, having nothing else to do. Richard finally came back to his side after devouring the biscuits, and James tied a letter to his parents onto Richard’s talon. Richard bit his arm in response and flew off, feathers flying into James’s face.

When the explosion of feathers were gone, Lily was already leaving. Really?!

“Wait!” James blurted, then immediately gagged as a feather fell into his mouth. Lily turned around and watched, unimpressed, as James spat a feather out of his mouth and made a face.

“Is that all?” Lily asked, turning towards the door again. “You wanted me to see you spit out a feather?”

“No!” James yelped, struggling to recover from that traumatic event as he hastily caught up with her. “It’s just…” he tried to think of a conversation topic that wouldn’t make her run away from him or hex him, but there really weren’t many. Wow, he must’ve really been desperate.

Lily leveled an inquiring stare at him, quirking a tinted-red eyebrow. “What?”

James was fumbling for the first time in his one month Quidditch career. (Which was bad, because they had a game next week). “Um. I… I just wanted… er…”

“Merlin’s pants,” Lily swore incredulously, bumping his right shoulder and grinning a ‘eat dung’ grin. “You actually want to talk to me. Is that it?”

No! Of course that wasn’t it! James was just bored, insanely bored, and his friends wouldn’t play pranks with him-

“Pranks!” he blurted out.

Lily heaved a giant sigh and raked a hand through her hair (something James would usually do, but he was too busy making a fool of himself). “Have you finally gone mad? Madder than usual? If so, please blink, because I’ve been told to get Sev so he can celebrate-“

“Our prank war!” James interrupted, finally formulating actual words. “You never retaliated to my last prank in our prank war!”

“I don’t need to,” Lily said haughtily, primly turning a corner to who-knows-where. “I have a secret weapon. It’s called maturity, and you’ll find it really helps when avoiding annoying boys such as yourself-“

“Lily!” James groaned, accidentally calling her by her first name. Darn it, now she had the upper hand. “You need to retaliate! It’s the only way we continue the prank wars!”

“Why do you need them to continue so desperately?”

Because my friends are all sad and I’m really bored. “Because I need to win!” James said aggravatedly. “And that means you have to put up a fight!”

Lily Evans was impossible. She was eyeing him with a withering stare, eyebrows raised and cool green eyes glaring. “Honestly, James. I could beat you with my eyes closed.”

Perfect, an argument about pranks! “Could not.”

“Could too,” Lily snapped back. “I could beat you, James Potter, with my wand hand tied behind my back. I could beat you hopping on one leg. I could beat you half asleep. I could beat you with no plan.”

“So do it,” James challenged. He didn’t know where this was going, but it had to be somewhat interesting.

Lily looked at him like really? You’re going to try me? “I’m not disabling myself for your amusement, Potter.”

“No, no! I mean, without a plan! Beat me in a prank right now, without a plan!”

Lily was conflicted, and James could tell. But this was the closest James had had to conversation in a week and he was taking it for all it was worth, so he added, “If you do I’ll… dress in Slytherin colors for a week!”

Now she was interested, and he could tell. “Severus would be ecstatic,” She mused.

“Snivillous won’t get to see it, because you won’t beat me,” James goaded.

That was it; James could tell. Lily might be impossibly stuck-up and annoying, but she was a stubborn Gryffindor at heart. Gryffindors didn’t turn down challenges, not after being dared.

“Fine,” she sniffed, turning her nose up and focusing away from James. “I just need to use the restroom first.”

“Grossss,” James complained.

“What, that women have bodily functions? I deeply apologize for the shock.”

Ew. Just the words ‘bodily functions’ was gross, but James wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction. “Fine,” James said suspiciously. What was she planning?

Lily took them on an excessively long journey, passing several loos on the way that James pointed out were very accessible and right there. She shot all of his claims down with a glower and a “are you a female, James? Don’t dictate which restroom I use.” Which James thought was bogus but whatever. He wasn’t a female, and his mum would probably ground him if he talked back to a girl again.

Down five flights of stairs they went, until finally they were on the second floor of Hogwarts and James had gotten a thorough workout. Lily looked more and more pleased by the second. Maybe this was her prank; wearing James out to the point where he gave up.

“Wait out here,” she told him cheerily when they finally reached a quite-abandoned looking restroom area. The girl’s restroom was completely empty, and James wondered why on earth Lily would come all this way for this. Spiders probably used it more than people.

Lily was only in there for a matter of seconds before an ear-splitting SHRIEK pierced the air, coming from the restroom she was in. James panicked. What if someone hurt her? What if she hurt someone else, considering how rude she was?

The point was, James was worried and so he barreled right into an abandoned women’s restroom looking for the threat.

He stopped not a step in.

Lily was talking to a ghost. A ghost that was half in a toilet. A ghost that was now shrieking and sobbing incoherently, blubbering something about her face and her glasses.

Lily patted the air next to her soothingly and saw James out of the corner of her eye. “Are you a female, James?” she repeated dryly. “Whatever. Myrtle, this is James. He wants to apologize for his cruel words.”

“What cruel words?” James asked.

Myrtle sobbed, “LILY TOLD ME YOU SAID I WASN’T THE PRETTIEST GHOST IN HOGWARTS! YOU RATED ME A-“ she hiccupped. “A FIVE OUT OF TEN!”

And with that, she ran at James like a bull. James yelped embarrassingly as she passed right through him, still sobbing.

James tried to turn around and leave the restroom, but Myrtle just followed him in a sobbing mess. “Why aren’t I pretty enough, James?” she wheedled sadly.

James side-eyed Lily and hissed “What have you done?”

Lily smiled charmingly at him. “I won, James,” she said.

Then she patted him on the head (ruffling his perfect hair!) and left him with his own personal raincloud of misery.

At least he was now entertained.

Remus Lupin

It was the day of the first Quidditch game, and Remus wasn’t getting out of this one.

His September full moon had, for once, worked in his favor. He’d been gone for Quidditch tryouts, missing the crowds and noise that went along with it. The October trainings he’d missed due to his… ‘outbursts’. Plus, the fact that he’d collapsed in one of them due to the noise.

But the November game? It was nowhere near the full moon, and there was no way he was getting out of it.

And he knew, because he’d tried. He’d gone to Madame Pomphrey a week before and asked her if he could skip a day of school because he wasn’t feeling well, and she’d practically lunged for him. “What’s wrong?” she asked instantly. “Did one of your scars resurface? Did you catch a bad flu?”

“No,” Remus batted off. “Not right now. I mean, I’m going to be sick in a week. And then I’ll come here, and I don’t have to go to the Quidditch game.”

She’d cuffed him on the side of the head at that and sent him back to classes. Rude.

Peter and him got ready for the game with two very different vibes in the air. Peter, excitement and hope. Remus, despair and dread.

“Cheer up, Remus!” Peter said brightly, holding up an embarrassing-looking stuffed lion. “Godric says we’ll do great!”

“Do great at what?” Remus asked confusedly. “Going to the Quidditch game?”

Peter poked Remus with the lion. “I meant ‘we’ as our team.”

“It’s not my team,” Remus said immediately.

Peter sighed. “Fine. Gryffindor’s team.”

“I’m not a Gryffindor,” Remus said, and Peter collapsed into a fit of giggles, Godric falling to his side. For once, Remus understood why Peter was his best friend.

They walked to the Gryffindor stands together, and Remus tried to drown out all the buzzing around him. It seemed as though the crowd was one giant that was intent on exploding Remus’s ears. Remus pulled his jumper closer to him and shivered, feeling miserable already.

They got a seat at the top of the stands, where ‘you could see everything’ Peter had chattered excitedly. Peter sat on his right and handed him Godric while he rummaged for snacks they’d snuck in.

Remus automatically held onto Godric and- fur.

Greyback snarled at four-year-old Remus, pinning him down by the shoulders, impossibly close to his face. Remus, even at four, could see him contemplating, wolfish eyes darting to Remus’s throat. The wolf could kill him, in a matter of seconds.

Remus started sobbing, screaming hysterical screams and Greyback made a split-second decision, teeth ripping through Remus’s shoulder just as Remus’s father burst into the room-

“Remus?” Peter asked, mouth full of crisps. “Why’re you shaking?” He went pale. “Merlin, you aren’t about to collapse?”

Remus pressed Godric roughly into Peter’s hands and caught his breath. It’s okay. It’s okay.

“Remus?” Peter asked again. Remus’s ears were ringing. The crowd was so loud, and the smells of that many people at once-

Peter touched his arm. “What do you need?” he asked firmly.

Remus groggily opened his eyes (he hadn’t even realized they were closed). “What?” he croaked.

Peter looked scared but determined. “What do you need?” he repeated. “I know you sometimes have, um… outbursts, kind of. And I just wanted to know how to deal with them. What do you need?”

Remus took a deep breath and realized Peter wasn’t joking. Peter wanted to know, because he was Remus’s best friend.

“I don’t like to be touched,” Remus forced out. “When I’m… like this. And my hearing is already strong, so… when I’m around people it’s just so-so much worse-“

“Here,” Peter said quickly, and his hand blessedly let go of Remus. A few seconds later, Peter handed Remus his own Gryffindor scarf. “Wrap this around your ears,” he said, with a little Peter-ish smile. “It’ll look weird, but…”

“But I’m already weird,” Remus finished for him with a choked laugh. He took the scarf from Peter- it was soft but not too soft, and the coarse-ish material was enough to ground him- and awkwardly put it on his head like a pair of earmuffs. The heavy material warmed the top of his head and muffled the sound in his ears, just a bit. But it was enough.

“Thanks, Pete,” Remus said relievedly, feeling like he could really breathe again.

Peter beamed.

“And,” Remus added, and Peter’s face fell worriedly, “I’m sorry. Sorry I get those… outbursts.”

Peter just looked confused now. “You can’t control them. They’re a part of you- and you know how to deal with them, so it’s fine. Right?”

“He’s not normal, Hope,” Lyall was saying to Remus’s mum. Remus had just turned five and was sleeping on his mum’s lap- or, they thought he was sleeping. The voices were loud enough to wake him.

“No shit, he’s not normal,” Hope spat, holing Remus closer defensively. Mum always said bad words when she was really angry at dad. “He got bit, Lyall. That… that wretched thing cursed him, and he’ll have to deal with the consequences for who-knows-how-long-“

“Hope,” Lyall interrupted softly. “It’s not just that. He has those… those outbursts, you know? Those ones where he can’t control his emotions and just… just rocks, sometimes? And his habits, like the- the plants and the novels- they’re obsessions.”

“He’s young and traumatized,” Hope said firmly, and her hand carded through Remus’s hair. “Who are you to dictate what he should be doing?”

It was the first time Remus had ever heard his parents really argue. It was weird.

“I’m not saying he’s a bad different!” Lyall said hastily. “Just saying that maybe we should… should, see a muggle therapist or something?”

“And risk the danger that would bring him?” Hope asked, emotions cracking her voice. “He’s hurt enough, Lyall. I’m not letting anyone poke or-or prod at my baby like he’s an experiment. Remus might not be normal, but he’s mine, and I’ll love him anyways. His quirks are a part of him, a crucial part of him, and I won’t have them taken away. And his outbursts- I know how to handle them, okay? It’s fine.”

Remus snapped back to the present with a smile instead of fear. “Thanks, Pete,” he whispered.

The Quidditch game started then, with obnoxious fanfare as the teams were introduced. It was Gryffindor VS Slytherin, and there was an extra green player on the field.

“James?” Remus said confusedly to himself.

“He lost a bet,” Peter answered even though he hadn’t really asked. “With Lily. It’s kinda funny, really.”

James was embracing the green, waving his arms and blowing embarrassing kisses to the Slytherins in the crowd (who were booing him with a vengeance).

“What’s up, party people?” asked a sickly, enthusiastic voice from the loudspeakers. “It’s Gilderoy Lockheart, at your service, to report this match! I bet it’s going to be a doozy, friends!”

“I don’t like him,” Remus said.

“I like him,” Peter said at the same time.

“My judgement’s better.”

“Hey!”

The match started, and Remus pulled the heavy scarf closer to his ears to block out Gilderoy’s loud voice. James was a whirlwind on the field, making passes to no one, darting around every player, friend or foe. Remus wasn’t sure how you were supposed to play, but he figured it was good when James tossed the red ball through a hoop minutes in and the Gryffindor side cheered.

Peter said “Clap, Remus!”

Remus clapped, but only because it was James. Not because he liked Quidditch. Ugh.

James went to high-five Sirius, who almost whacked him with the bat. Sirius looked almost radiant up so high in the air, like he was where he was meant to be. And he played like he was, too. Seconds later, he hit a heavy-looking ball right at Severus Snape, who had to roll over on the broom to avoid it. Remus could’ve sworn Sirius was smirking. He looked regal.

Severus righted himself and flew right at Sirius, and Remus blinked. “Is tackling part of the game?”

“NO?” Peter shouted, standing up to see Snape better.

Remus watched as Severus flew right at Sirius, whipping out… was that his wand? Remus was very sure that magic wasn’t supposed to be used during the game. Snape held it out and Sirius gripped his bat, but he couldn’t hit Snape from that far away.

Remus pulled his own wand out, on instinct. Snape wasn’t about to hurt his friends, not on Remus’s watch-

But then a familiar green blur whacked into Snape’s side, knocking him to the right and knocking the wand out of his hand. James caught the wand and pointed it at Snape, uttering, “Stupefy!”

The crowd must not have heard it, but they certainly saw when Severus fell like a rock towards the ground. James watched, calmly, and unstupefied him at the last possible second. Snape jerked to life and automatically flew upwards, and the crowd went crazy.

Peter gripped Remus’s arm. “Is Sirius okay?!”

Snape was probably who they should be worried about, but okay. Remus squinted at Sirius, checking for injuries, but he seemed fine. A little rattled, but fine. Remus heard him and James speaking in low tones, but he couldn’t hear over Gilderoy Lockheart’s booming voice.

“Woo-whee! What excitement!”

Remus’s blood boiled.

“Well don’t worry! The match isn’t being cancelled! Snape has reported that he’s fine, and Gryffindor will be given a foul to make up for Potter’s…” Gilderoy obviously snickered. “Severely inappropriate behavior. Since aggression was shown on both sides, that’s the most action that can be taken. Match resumed, friends!”

Remus breathed a sigh of relief in spite of himself. It wasn’t like he wanted the game to continue… just wanted Sirius and James to be happy. And Peter, too, since the boy was bouncing up and down where he sat.

Three more goals for Slytherin and five for Gryffindor. Remus kept an eye out for Snape attacking Sirius, but all was well.

Marlene had her moment, looping around a Slytherin keeper and tossing the ball right into the hoop. It hit the Slytherin keeper on the back of his head and had him stick a finger out at her as she did a victory loop and flew over to talk to… Sirius, about it? Why would she do that?

Peter was driving Remus up the wall with his new chants. “Come on, James,” he said every time James had the red ball, “Score that goal and prove them lames! (The Slytherins, I mean, not the Gryffindors. Remus, d’you think he gets it?)”

Just as Remus was about to lose it, the Gryffindor Seeker darted around Sirius and slapped him aside. Remus was about to pull out his wand again when the seeker’s hand closed around something golden. She held it up victoriously, and the crowd went insane yet again.

“What’s that?” Remus asked Peter.

“Snitch!” Peter screamed, whooping wildly with the rest of the Gryffindors. “It means we won!”

“That’s dumb,” said Remus, but no one heard him. He begrudgingly started cheering.

Frank Longbottom was going wild. He wrapped James up in a hug, then Sirius, and then Remus realized he was going around the whole team. He hugged some of the Slytherins too, who pushed him off and called him interesting names.

Remus had to admit, the atmosphere was infectious.

James and Sirius met them afterwards, and Frank must’ve rubbed off on them because the first thing James did was engulf Peter in a gross, sweaty hug. Peter was overjoyed. “YOU WON!” he kept shouting.

“I KNOW!” James shouted back.

Sirius hugged Remus, nearly knocking them both over. “Did you see the way I hit that one bludger?” he asked enthusiastically. “It went right at their chaser, knocked the ball out of his hands! I was BORN for this!”

“What about the part where Snape tried to hex you?” Remus asked.

Sirius scoffed, mussing up Remus’s hair. “He wouldn’t have done anything. James knocked him out, anyways. Serves him right.”

“Won’t he be angry?” Remus asked. “At you, or James? Or all of us?”

“All for one and one for all,” James dismissed. Remus thought a three musketeers quote wasn’t enough to ward of Snape’s fury, but it would do for now. It was a miracle enough that James knew three musketeers.

Remus went to the Gryffindor common room with his friends, giddy. He skipped the celebration party, but his teeth were still clattering from excitement.

Remus wasn’t happy with Quidditch. He was just happy with his friends.

Peter Pettigrew

On the twentieth of November, Remus had to be rolled out of bed by Peter.

“You should really stay here today,” Peter told him nervously, shoving him as gently as possible onto the floor.

Remus groaned and tried to heave himself to his feet, ending up flopping like a worm. “Never. Now help me up.”

James the hawk swooped over, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “Sick, are we?”

“No,” Remus said stubbornly, despite the fact that he was on the floor and his sweaty palms kept slipping out of Peter’s hands.

James stared at him appraisingly, then looked at Peter. “Sick, is he?”

“Yes,” Peter said immediately. Remus groaned “Traitor.”

James and Peter managed to haul Remus to his feet, and James pressed a hand to Remus’s forehead. “You don’t have a temperature,” he said confusedly. “Maybe you’re just really tired.”

“Yeah!” Remus said, overly sure. “That’s it! Now gerroff me, classes start in thirty minutes and you always get lost. Filch’s going to count us late.”

“Filch hates us anyways,” James dismissed.

“We’ll just make it worse then,” Peter said.

James scowled at him. What had Peter done wrong?

They had to roll Sirius out of bed as well, although that was a regular thing. Sirius hit the ground with a groggy “Thanks, mates” and forced himself to his feet.

Peter watched as Sirius and Remus stumbled to the great hall together, looking rather like a poorly-planned zombie invasion. “Think they’re going to make it?” he made himself ask James.

James scoffed. “Sirius is always like this. He’ll make it. Remus? He won’t last an hour.”

To Remus’s credit, he forced his way through breakfast. Was he eating? No, just sipping at his tea and glaring at his surroundings. But it was something.

Sirius was back to normal after a few pieces of bacon, and he was throwing them at Remus per tradition. “You’re so boring,” he told Remus.

Remus took an obnoxiously loud sip of chocolate, and Peter laughed.

Sirius was a whirlwind on their way to Filch’s. He seemed to have regained his energy, and his first Quidditch win. “Hurry up!” he called to Remus, who was lagging a few dozen steps behind them.

Remus just sniffled pathetically and kept on hobbling.

“He’s sick,” Peter told Sirius awkwardly.

“He’s a slowpoke,” Sirius corrected. James snorted.

Peter wondered if Sirius was even being rude to Remus on purpose, or if it was just his nature. Either way, Peter didn’t like it. He frowned at Sirius and said, “Stop making fun of him. He could barely make it out of bed.”

Uh oh. Sirius was mad now, glowering at Peter and nudging his shoulder. “I’m not actually mad at him,” Sirius defended angrily. “Just stating facts.”

“Let’s just get to class,” James tried.

“No,” Sirius snapped, bumping against Peter’s shoulder again. “I just want to know why you’re so pressed about this.”

“Because he’s sick,” Peter said confusedly. He thought he’d made that clear.

“I was just telling him he needed to speed up!”

“He can’t!”

“Then maybe he should’ve said! I honestly didn’t mean to insult him!” the tone in Sirius’s voice made it clear that he was now meaning to insult Peter.

“He’s out of it!” Peter responded, growing a bit angry. He’d never stood up to Sirius this blatantly since that time he punched him. “Don’t pick on him just because… because you’re mad about… Reg-"

“Shut up, Pettigrew!” Sirius snarled, shoulder-checking Peter aggressively. Peter gracefully almost fell on his face.

“Sirius,” came Remus’s tired voice from far behind them. “Stop picking fights just because Regulus is being rude to you in the hallways.”

Sirius’s face turned bright red. “Remus,” he started, much nicer than he was to Peter.

“Peter,” Remus continued obliviously (and a bit deliriously), “Stop picking fights for me. I’m a grown human. No, er, a grown wizard.”

Why had he corrected himself there? “Sorry, Remus,” Peter said sheepishly.

“Okay. And James, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s decent.”

“Thanks,” James said proudly.

They arrived at Filch’s with a new sense of humility (except James, who was grinning). Filch glared all of them down by way of a greeting. “How are we?” he asked, seeming like Dumbledore had most definitely forced him to be that interactive with his students.

Sirius shot a glance at Peter and nodded. “Fine?”

Peter nodded back. “Fine,” he answered.

“I’m very tired,” Remus said from behind them.

Filch looked at Remus, and Peter could’ve sworn his eye twitched upwards. “Do you need to go to the hospital wing?” he gritted out.

“Nah,” Remus slurred.

Lily Evans, Marlene, and Mary approached them, looking worried. They must’ve seen how pale Remus was even from a room away. Peter figured that wasn’t a good sign for Remus.

“Hullo, professor,” Lily said pleasantly.

“We’ve come to walk Remus to the hospital wing,” Marlene added, shooting a charming smile at a protesting Remus.

“And we want him to know that our study group will be cancelled until he gets better,” Mary continued. “So he doesn’t miss anything.”

Lily smiled at James and finished, “And good on you for still wearing green.”

“I keep my bets!” James said offendedly.

“I’ll walk him too,” Peter said hastily, not wanting Remus to feel completely ganged up on.

Remus just glowered at him as well. It must not have come out right. Nothing Peter ever said came out right.

“Just go,” Filch snapped, not bothered that there were four escorts for one student. That was strange. Filch would never show mercy to anyone. Why was he doing it for Remus?

Peter didn’t have time to think about that, because Filch was already waving them off very violently.

Lily and Mary and Marlene flanked Remus’s left side, Peter on his right guiding him. Peter searched desperately for a conversation topic before Mary finally said, “Did you see what Delores was wearing today?”

Marlene burst into giggles. “The most embarrassing thing! Oh, Remus you have to hear this.”

“Okay,” Remus said, clearly not listening. Peter pinched his arm.

“Delores Umbridge shows up this morning in the great hall- waves at you, but you were too out of it to notice-“

“And she was wearing a bright pink cardigan with a heart!” Lily finished with a squeal. “Isn’t that crass!”

Peter was very confused. “Why is that crass?”

“Because,” Mary explained slowly, “It’s pink. Pink is the color of love. And there’s a heart. Heart is the shape of love. And she waved at Remus!”

“With a big smile on her face, too,” Marlene snickered. “It was the saddest. I almost wanted to give her a hug and tell her it wasn’t worth it.”

“What wasn’t worth it?” Peter asked, still very confused. Remus stared off far into the distance.

Lily looked across the girls to Peter and said, “Delores has a crush on Remus. She even said he was cute at the Halloween party.”

OH. Peter was never big on picking up if people had crushes. Peter was never good at crushes himself. Plus… “We’re only twelve,” he said, half thinking that someone was going to chew his head off again.

Instead, Marlene practically cackled and said, “That makes it even funnier!”

“Are we almost there?” Remus asked, looking queasy.

“So you don’t like her,” Peter assumed quietly.

Remus adamantly shook his head. “She was really loud. And pink.”

Peter didn’t know exactly what that meant, but he assumed it was bad.

Thankfully, they were indeed almost there. Madame Pomphrey greeted them at the door with a look and a, “I was wondering when you’d be here, Remus. I told you to show up in the morning.”

“Still the morning,” Remus said, swaying on his feet. Peter latched onto his arm again for safety.

Madame Pomphrey rolled her eyes. “Earlier. And it looks like you tried to go to classes.”

“He did,” Marlene tattled happily, shooting Remus a grin.

“We had to drag him out,” Mary exaggerated dramatically.

“It was a bloodbath,” Lily finished solemnly.

Peter didn’t have anything to say, so he looked at the infirmary and- “Is that Severus?”

Lily and Remus both snapped to attention. “What?”

Madame Pomphrey’s eyes narrowed. “Mr. Snape is in with a… cold.”

Lily’s eyes softened in what looked like… pity? “Could I see him?” she asked in a low tone. “I know about… about…” she leaned forwards and whispered something in Madame Pomphrey’s ear that Peter didn’t catch.

Remus did, though. And he had absolutely no filter due to exhaustion, and therefore he blurted out, “His father? Why would his father merit a visit to the hospital wing?”

Peter could see Severus from across the room. He looked like he’d been crying, and just then anger took over his crooked features and he sprang out of bed, shouting, “Really, Lupin?!”

Lily tried to push past Madame Pomphrey, but the healer held firm (for her patient’s safety or Lily’s?). “Severus!” she snapped. “He’s sick, he didn’t know better!”

Severus ignored her and glared right at Remus. “How would it feel,” he said in a painfully cold voice that sent shivers down Peter’s spine, “If I revealed a secret of yours? About how you hate loud sounds, don’t like being touched… have scars on your face?”

Remus just looked confused. Madame Pomphrey looked shocked that Severus knew those facts. Peter was trying to piece together what on earth was happening.

“That’s enough, Mr. Snape!” she said before Snape could open his mouth again. Severus just stayed glaring at Remus, looking ready to fight.

Peter wasn’t exactly sure if he should leave Remus alone with that, but he wasn’t given a choice. Madame Pomphrey, clearly rattled, grabbed Remus’s shoulders and pulled him into the hospital wing. She shut the door behind him.

Chapter Text

James Potter

James had never been happier that Peter was a natural snitch. He’d told them everything about Snivillous’s weird threats and his weirder personality as soon as he'd come back.

“Let’s kill him,” Sirius had said immediately.

James snickered. “Tempting. But maybe we’ll find a better solution.”

“Better than killing him? I doubt it.”

Despite Sirius’s skepticism, James was confident that Snivillous wouldn’t be a problem. Mainly because James had been preparing for months, waiting for the greaseball to make the first move.

This was the first move, and James was about to wipe him out of the water. (Without killing him though, jeez Sirius.)

Remus returned three days later, which was at least better than last time. James saw him standing in the doorway and hastily tried to hide his Snivillous project. There weren’t many places to hide it, so he opted for shoving them all up his shirt.

Sirius snickered. Unhelpful prat.

Remus raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “What’re you smuggling?”

“Nothing,” James said innocently.

“Remus!” Peter said happily, a thankful distraction.

Remus accepted Peter’s childish hug without breaking eye contact with James. “James Potter.”

“Yes, Remus Lupin?”

“He’s working on homework,” Sirius finally chimed in. Great, the least helpful thing he could say.

“Prat,” James hissed at him.

“Since when do you do homework?” Remus and Peter asked at the same time.

James’s brain was racing, trying to undo the lie him and Sirius had made. “You got me,” he finally said with a laugh that was a bit too high for normal. “Just working on secret prank ideas. Y’know, for after break.”

Sirius’s face soured at ‘after break’, and yes, a distraction! “Mother’s still thinking of sending me away,” he said stiffly.

Remus’s forehead creased and James knew he was in the clear. Now what to do about Sirius…

“Can’t you stay with me?” James offered eagerly. “Mum would love to have you over! And dad just does whatever mum says, so-“

Sirius started laughing maniacally. Remus sat next to him, cross-legged on the bed, and James smoothly deposited his Snivillous project into his trunk and clambered up with them, Peter not far behind. Sirius caught his breath and wheezed “Me, with a Potter? She’d kill me first. Like... she’d actually kill me.”

The fact that Sirius truly believed his mother would kill him without hesitation was a subject that definitely should be explored later.

Peter offered, “How about staying with me? The Pettigrews aren’t all blood traitors. I mean, Esteban’s cruel enough.”

Sirius considered. “She’d only like me staying with Esteban,” he decided, “And Esteban would also kill me first.”

“Too many people are trying to kill you,” Remus said firmly.

“It’s part of my charm.”

“What about just staying here,” Remus supplied, “Like Regulus said?”

Sirius’s face darkened. “I don’t like listening to my brother.”

“It could work, though,” Peter said slowly. “I mean, you could tell her you’re behind on studies. She’d like that you’re keeping up the family name, right?”

“She’d never believe that I was catching up on studies,” Sirius scoffed.

James was still thinking. If Walburga didn’t want Sirius at Hogwarts, she’d have to be forced or goaded into letting him stay…

“Could you get in trouble?” James wondered. “Like, with the school? And they give you detentions through Christmas break?”

Sirius’s eyes lit up for a split second before Remus apologetically said “Pretty sure the school would kick you out faster if you got in trouble.”

“Merlin’s beard,” Sirius groaned, flopping backwards so half of him was hanging off the bed. “Why is staying at school so difficult?”

James was growing desperate. Truth be told, he’d seen Sirius after going to Durmstrang. Those two weeks had changed him, and James didn’t want to come back to Hogwarts and see him like that again. But the only way for Sirius to stay at Hogwarts over break was to get Walburga’s permission, and to do that she'd have to be goaded, or...

“Bribery!” James blurted, and Sirius slid off the bed in surprise.

“What is it with you and falling off beds?” Remus mused as Sirius jumped to his feet.

“Sirius," James asked urgently, "What’s something your mum’ll care about?”

Sirius scoffed. “Not me. Um… the family name. Money. Reputation. The color green... Kreacher. Regulus.”

Regulus could work. Regulus could work!

James narrowed her eyes. "Regulus and you... have to stay here for…”

Darn. If only James knew how Regulus could work.

“Maybe Regulus could do it,” Peter said uncomfortably. “Doesn’t your mum, er… like him more?”

“Rude, but true.”

James recalled what Regulus had said to Sirius when they’d been practicing for tryouts. I’ve got the family under my thumb.

“How would we convince him?” James asked.

Sirius scowled. “He hates me. He won’t do it.”

“I could try and convince him,” Remus offered. “He might listen to me.”

Sirius raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You’ve met him, correct?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Long enough to know most of his personality. He wants to impress his parents really badly, if only because he can’t impress you anymore. I think the idea of impressing your parents with his dedication to school and impressing you with his letter might be incentive enough.”

He said all this so matter-of-factly. Sirius looked like he’d been punched in the gut.

“Alright?” James quietly asked him.

Sirius blinked himself back to life, nodding slowly. He stared at Remus, breaking out in a sudden grin. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

“Considering the company you keep, I’m not surprised,” Remus said dryly.

“Shut up, I was trying to be nice!”

“The opportunity to offend you arose and I had to take it.”

And then Sirius had tackled him, laughing, and Remus shrieked a laugh and poked him in the ribs. James joined their pile and got smacked upside the head by someone’s hand, and Peter nearly crushed them all joining.

It evolved into a slap fight that ended with Sirius falling off the bed, Peter laughing as Remus and James poked each other in the forehead with varying intensity. Morale was back!

*

Remus left breakfast that morning to go talk to Regulus right as Severus Snape, pale as ever, got up to go to them. James eyed him approaching and whispered to Peter, “Fortify yourself.”

Peter armed himself with a waffle and a piece of bacon. Sirius held up his fists and they were so syrupy that they just got stuck.

“Never mind.”

Instead of stopping in front of them, Snivillous actually slid onto Remus’s usual spot and smiled at them all pleasantly; coldly. “Morning.”

“Glad you didn’t say good morning,” James said, “Considering you’re here now.”

“Spoken like a person raised by blood traitors,” Snape said.

“Spoken like a spineless git,” Sirius spat back.

“Spoken like a very mean person,” Peter added.

“It sounds like you’re talking about Sirius,” James whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “Because of the order, you know…”

“Oops. Sorry, Sirius.”

Snivillous snickered, and his idle hands reached out to tap at Remus’s water goblet. “I saw your freak thinks that it’s appropriate to talk to us.”

“Remus can talk to anyone he pleases,” Peter squeaked indignantly, which was impressive. James actually wasn’t expecting that.

Snivillous tapped on Remus’s goblet, closer to the top now. James was tempted to smack it out of his hands; it was so annoying.

Sirius sighed. “Are you going to stay here, or can I finish my breakfast without vomiting?”

“Where are your manners?” Snivillous pouted, spinning around Remus’s goblet by the top. “You’re a Black, after all. Why not make your parents proud for once?”

Sirius turned bright red, but James kept his eyes on Snivillous’s hands. Why was he with them? And why was he spinning Remus’s goblet like that?

Severus abruptly stood up, and James caught a flash of glass disappear into his robe sleeve. “I’ll leave you now,” he whispered. “Your freak’s coming back.”

“I’m going to toss you out of the window,” Sirius said calmly, and then Snape was gone. If only Sirius had led with that.

Remus collapsed at the table with a sigh. “Your brother is very verbally abusive,” he informed Sirius.

Sirius snickered. “I know. I taught him.”

“What’d he say?” Peter asked, eager. James was still thinking about Snape’s hand on that goblet…

Remus smiled tiredly and reached for his goblet. “Yes, after much convincing. He’s not happy about staying at Hogwarts, however.”

“We could sneak to my house,” James offered, still staring at Remus’s goblet as it lifted to Remus’s mouth.

Sirius looked right ecstatic. “We could,” he marveled. “Merlin, now that she thinks we’re here- we could go anywhere.”

Remus took a sip of his drink. “Actually, options are quite limited.”

“Killjoy.”

James had a strange urge to smack the goblet out of Remus’s hands, if only because Snivillous’s hands had been on them. What had been Snape’s plan?

A little first year girl wearing bright, blinding pink walked by Remus. Remus tried to hide himself by taking a few more sips of his goblet, but she saw him anyways and eagerly started over.

James felt a bit suspicious and a bit curious about teasing opportunities. “She’s your friend?”

“No,” Remus said immediately, almost within earshot of her. “I barely know her.”

That was unlike him, to be so brutal so obviously. What was going on…

“Remus!” the bright-coloured girl said happily. “Good morning!”

“Okay,” Remus said.

“Is that all you say?” she pouted with a sickly giggle. Sirius looked at James like forward. Peter looked a bit pitying.

“No. I say a lot of things, Delores.”

Delores tossed her brunette hair- which was in the ugliest perm James had ever seen- and giggled again. “Okay,” she teased. Sirius mimed gagging himself with a syrup-filled spoon, then actually gagged from the flavor. “So I was wondering… could I join your Defense Against the Dark Arts study group?" Delores asked. "I’ve been really stressed about it lately.”

Remus blinked. “Okay.” He sounded almost robotic. Possessed. What had Snape done?

Delores looked disappointed that Remus wasn’t flirting back. James would’ve teased him about it if he hadn’t been so worried about stupid Snivillous. “So,” she wheedled, “Do you want me in your study group?”

“No,” Remus said immediately. Way too honestly.

Honestly…

“He was joking!” James yelped, elbowing Sirius hard in the shoulder because he was closest to Remus. Sirius obliviously elbowed him back, concentrating on the drama.

“I wasn’t joking,” Remus said.

“Joking!” James said brightly, trying to elbow Peter.

Peter actually got the hint and smiled nervously at Delores, who looked about to cry. “He’s always grumpy before breakfast,” he stuttered. “Why don’t you go to your table? He won’t be much help until he gets his tea. Ha. Ha.”

Peter’s lies were as robotic as Remus’s truths, but James didn’t have time to think about that. Delores stumbled away, wounded.

James instantly turned to Sirius and hissed, “Truth potion! Snape put truth potion in Remus’s goblet!”

“Merlin!” Sirius gasped. “D’you think we can get the homework answers out of him?”

“Maybe later,” James said. He was in commando mode. He turned to Peter and said, “You and Sirius get him to the dorm room. He can’t go to class like this; he’ll ruin people.”

“He is very harsh,” Sirius agreed, standing up. Him and Peter got on either side of Remus and grabbed his arms, hoisting him up.

“Are you kidnapping me?” Remus asked, breathing getting a little heavier.

“No,” Peter said unconvincingly. “You just need to go to your dorm.”

“But- but classes-“

“We’re skivving,” Sirius interrupted, forcefully dragging Remus towards the exit. “Come on, mate.”

When they were gone, James thought of the piece of paper in his trunk and thanked McGonagall for drilling memorization skills into his brain. “Here we go,” he said to himself.

He stood up, scraping back his chair with a screech and strutting (as he should) around the tables to the Slytherin bench. It was loud and rowdy, but in the worst way. Slytherins were arguing with each other or jeering at other people. Regulus was there, talking with Snape. Did he know what Severus had done?

James cleared his throat from behind them and Regulus and Snape turned around. Regulus looked confused. “I’m owling mother,” he said stiffly. “I swear. Now if you lot would leave me alone…”

So he didn’t know, then. Time to deal with the one that did.

Snape jeered at James and snapped, “What’s wrong? Your freak acting a little more freakish?”

James had always liked deer. They were kind of dumb, sometimes trying to find muggle cars just to run in front of them. But their antlers were really cool.

So maybe James was doing Snape a favor.

“Anteoculatia!” James screamed, pointing his wand right at Snape’s stupid greasy forehead. Snape instinctively shoved his hands in front of his face.

For a moment nothing happened. Just long enough for James to think gee it would suck if I was magicless in front of thirty angry Slytherins.

Then Snape cried out in shock as two twigs rapidly started growing out of his forehead, poking at his fingers. “What did you DO?!” Snape shrieked.

“Who’s the freak now?” James shouted, grinning as Snape felt at the antlers on his head. “They’ll wear off in… weeks? Months? Hard to tell. Depends on how long you keep going after Remus, I suppose.”

Regulus was pale, inching away from Severus with an awed expression. James stalked towards him, and he fearfully pulled out his wand.

Pft. Like James would ever let an underclassman get the best of him.

He calmly lowered Regulus’s wand and leaned down to his level, smiling pleasantly and whispering, “Don’t push my friends. There’s your warning.”

Remus Lupin

What was happening what was happening what was happening-

“What’s happening?” Remus asked, swiveling his head back and forth to Sirius and Peter. “I feel funny.”

Peter’s face was bright red from the effort of half-carrying Remus. Peter probably needed to exercise more. “You’re fine,” he said. Why was he lying? Why was Remus not lying? This didn’t make any sense!

Remus looked to his right at Sirius. Sirius’s face was bright red also, but from anger and not exhaustion. “You’re not fine,” he growled. “I’m going to kill Snivillous.”

“You’re not smart enough to kill him,” Remus stated. “He’d beat you in an instant. Didn’t he beat you up last year?”

Sirius clearly bristled, but his hand still steadily held Remus up. That was good, because Remus felt so weird. He wondered if he’d been fed something he was allergic to. Or maybe he’d been hit with a charm of some sort…

“Don’t listen to him,” Peter told Sirius out of the corner of his mouth. “He’s not thinking properly.”

“I’m thinking fine,” Remus said factually, because it was the truth. “I’m actually thinking really really clearly.”

“No shit,” Sirius muttered.

“Just be silent for the rest of the trip,” Peter stuttered.

“That’s probably a good idea,” Remus said, “Because your voice is really annoying me.”

Why did he say that? Sure, Peter’s voice was a bit annoying- squeaky like a rat's-, but Remus would usually never say something like that so bluntly. What was going on? Why was his stomach starting to churn?

Peter sniffled, and Sirius groaned. “Don’t get soft on us now, Pettigrew.”

“He’s always been soft,” Remus said. WHY did he say that?

As the group fell silent, Remus tried to focus on his own mind. It seemed like every time Remus said something he wasn’t supposed to say, it made him feel… lighter. Happier, almost.

What would happen if he didn’t say the truth?

“Ask me something,” Remus said quietly.

Sirius looked uncomfortable. He blew a lock of black hair out of his face and said “Mate, that’s not a good idea.”

Remus was tempted to agree, because it wasn’t a good idea- but that was it. He just couldn’t agree with Sirius.

Remus opened his mouth and said “Y-es it-“

And he was stabbed in the gut.

Remus had never felt the cruciatus curse, but he assumed it couldn’t be worse than this. He clamped his mouth shut and thrashed in Sirius and Peter’s grip, feeling a burning sensation work up his gut. Help help help help help help help-

“Remus?” Peter squeaked, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Remus whispered truthfully and- and it stopped. The pain in his chest wore off; the burning ceased. What kind of curse was he under?

Remus slumped against Sirius’s shoulder, and Sirius jostled him a little as they approached the transfiguration hallway. “C’mon, mate,” Sirius said, about as soft as Remus had ever heard him. “Just another staircase and we’re at the tower.”

Remus knew they weren’t. He could smell it; his friends had gotten themselves lost again. And maybe he had a death wish or maybe he was just testing the boundaries of the curse, but whatever the reason, he gasped “Yeah, we- we’re-“

“Remus!” Peter gasped as a wave of pain made Remus’s whole face go numb. “What’re you doing?”

It would be so easy to answer that truthfully but he couldn’t he wouldn’t he had to control himself, he didn't know what to do without control, it was the one thing he had-

Remus started coughing, shaking against Sirius’s shoulder. Sirius pushed him upright and sandwiched him painfully between him and Peter. Peter’s hand went to pat his back, and Sirius whispered in awe, “Are you trying to fight it?”

“YES!” Remus shouted, and the horrible pain subsided once again. His knees buckled so that Sirius and Peter were basically holding him up.

"You brilliant idiot," Sirius muttered, half to himself. Remus's head was bursting.

Peter was about to collapse from the strain; Remus could tell. “Stop,” he wheezed, seeming frustrated. “Stop lying to us!”

Lying.

Lying.

A furry beast howled at the moon, scratching the Shrieking Shack with its claws, wanting for food, for blood, for flesh, for humans, only to turn back into a miserable broken boy- who went back to his friends- his friends- like nothing ever happened- like he’d never wanted to gut them open when the moon was full-

“Remus!” Sirius said, panicked as Remus started to shake and spasm between the two. “Remus, what’s wrong?”

He had to answer. He had to and the pain would go away.

“I have secrets,” Remus gasped out, staring unseeingly in front of him as his vision started bursting silver. “Big secrets. I’ve been lying to you.”

Peter sounded scared, so scared when he heaved Remus up a little more and said, “You don’t have to lie to us, Remus-“

Don’t have to lie you don’t have to lie just let it go you don’t have to fight it make it all go away

Remus’s mouth was moving, his lips parting without his permission, his tongue forming the syllables before he could bother fighting because he was so tired-

“I’m a werewolf.”

*

Remus didn’t know who dropped him first.

*

All he knew was that he was lying on the ground, in horrible pain that had nothing to do with the curse while waves of wretched waves of relief crashed through him, shaking him, bringing his vision back and making the pain in his chest go away. He looked up blearily at his two friends and instead saw two terrified boys. Terrified of him.

“I’m a werewolf,” Remus whispered again, a tear tracking its way down his face because they knew they knew it made me tell. “I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf…”

Footsteps, and then they were gone. Who could blame them?

Factually, Remus was on the ground.

Factually, there were tears streaming down his face and factually, his voice hurt from saying his secret over and over again.

Factually, he was alone.

He didn’t know how long he was there before the small clack of heels on tile alerted him to look up through blurry eyes at professor McGonagall, who had stopped right in front of him with a concerned and tight expression. “Mr. Lupin-?”

“I’m a werewolf,” Remus whispered to her. “I’m a werewolf I’m a werewolf I’m-“

The colour drained out of her face and she extended a shaky hand to him. “Let’s get you off the floor,” she muttered.

Remus managed to stand up on horribly wobbly legs, feeling like he was a newborn deer. McGonagall’s arm curled around his shoulders. Remus was convulsing, feeling like he needed to throw up that curse that was inside of him, but all that came out was I’m a werewolf I’m a werewolf I’m a werewolf.

He didn’t know they were at professor Slughorn’s classroom until he’d ushered them in and talked to Professor McGonagall in low, surprised tones. He gave Remus a little vial and a pat on the head, and Remus dully drank the vial between tremors. It burned his throat but then it felt freeing, like a lock on his mind had been burst and a stream of control rushed in, breaking the dam.

Then he remembered what he’d done. What he’d said.

“I told them,” he said to McGonagall and Slughorn, who were standing over him with worried, pinched faces. “I told Sirius and Peter. And they’re going to tell James and… and…”

And what next?

“I’m going to have to go home now,” Remus guessed. “Aren’t I?”

McGonagall’s mouth was a set line. Slughorn awkwardly chortled and said, “Three people is an awful lot to swear to secrecy, my boy.”

McGonagall elbowed Slughorn, actually elbowed him, but Remus’s mind was too focused on other things. He’d have to pack, and of course he’d have to say goodbye to Lily and the girls before they knew… maybe he’d punch Snape in the face; he knew the git had something to do with all this…

Most importantly, he couldn’t sit there sulking. He had work to do.

Remus stood up and set the vial on Slughorn’s desk with a dull clink. “Thank you,” he said to Slughorn, hating how much his voice shook. “I should… pack.”

Slughorn sighed regretfully and nodded.

“Wait!” McGonagall said quickly as Remus was in the doorway. Remus turned around with as much strength as he could muster, and the professor smiled at him. Sadly, but still. She was full of surprises that day.

“Give them the night, Mr. Lupin,” she ordered. “They might surprise us.”

Or they might kill me in my sleep, Remus thought miserably, but he didn’t say that part. Instead he grimaced and headed to his dorm one last time.

What was he going to tell his parents?

*

All of Remus’s hopes about not wallowing in his own misery were gone, and he was sitting on the ground.

It was very pathetic, even with all things considered. It wasn’t as though he was injured, or traumatized, or threatened. He’d simply got back to his dorm room, looked at the bed Sirius always tumbled off of and the desk Peter always had mental breakdowns at and the trunk James had that was considered a health hazard and then he was sitting on the ground, in the middle of it all, surveying. Taking it all in.

Merlin, this is depressing, he told himself dryly. And dramatic. Very dramatic.

But he deserved a little drama after what he’d been through, so he ignored his mental nagging and persisted in staring miserably at the dorm room.

His trunk was already packed, had been packed all year (because Remus was nothing if not paranoid and efficient), but Remus couldn’t bring himself to pick it up. How sad. He deserved a medal for being self-indulgently depressed.

The dorm’s door burst open with a BANG, sending a gust of air into the room along with a disgruntled, out of breath James Potter. James promptly doubled over a few feet from Remus and gasped “YOU’RE NOT LEAVING, RIGHT?!”

Blimey, he must’ve ran all the way up the staircase. Remus was too sad to care. He looked at James emotionlessly and James tiredly dropped down in front of him, catching his breath.

“What’re you doing?” Remus asked blankly, feeling hollow.

James finally started breathing normally and pushed his glasses up, looking scared. “Sirius said they left you near McGonagall’s and I ran over but you weren’t there,” he rambled in one breath, “So I went to the library because you always spend all your time there and then I went to Pomphrey and then-“

“James,” Remus interrupted softly, because Merlin he was tearing up.

James stopped talking, to his credit. He looked at Remus’s pained face and his eyes went wide with fear.

Of course. He was scared that Remus would lash out. He wanted Remus to leave. Remus pointed wordlessly to his packed trunk.

James’s eyes darted towards it and he pushed his glasses up again, like he was in shock. “Remus,” he said carefully, like trying to coax a wild deer. “Remus, we don’t want you to leave.”

Remus’s mind was racing. Snape gave him a truth potion, he spilled his worst secret, and… “Did they not tell you?”

James scoffed, trying for a smile- his lips were trembling. “No, they forgot to mention that you’re a werewolf.”

It felt like the truth potion curse was hitting him again, knocking the breath out of his lungs. It was too much too much to hear those words out of his friend’s mouth and Remus gasped for air, feeling like James after running up all those stairs.

James immediately went on damage control. “No, no Remus it’s okay! We don’t care! We don’t want you to leave!”

A hot tear slid down Remus’s face, and then another and another and James had never looked so scared. “Then why aren't they here?" he choked.

James cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up yet again even though they were already adjusted. "They... they haven't gotten quite... used to it?" he tried meekly. "But... but I want you here-"

And no one else did.

"James,” Remus croaked out, “I’m so sorry.”

James ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. “Remus, mate. There’s nothing to be sorry for! You can’t help that…” he’d hit a roadblock then. “That… that you’re…”

Remus wanted to hide, to crawl away and just go home. Maybe James was trying to chase him out via humiliation. Maybe he was trying to make Remus cry. “You,” Remus forced out, “You can’t even talk about it when you’re not j-joking-“

James was clearly out of his league, no matter what he was trying to do. He inched closer to Remus, settling next to him on his right side. His arm awkwardly wrapped around Remus’s shoulders and maybe he was trying to kill him- but Remus was too tired to care, so he dropped his head onto James’s shoulder.

“Let’s talk about it then,” James said resolutely, shaking Remus's shoulders slightly. “You’re a werewolf. You’ve been hiding that since… what, first year?”

Remus shuddered at the horrible reminder. He was so tired; he was having the urge to pass out right then and there. “I got bit when I was five.”

James’s grip tightened on Remus’s shoulders. “You should’ve told us, mate.”

Remus shook his head, weakly. “I would’ve had to leave. That’s not an excuse I’m sorry I’m sorry but I had to-“

“Hey,” James mumbled confusedly, squeezing Remus’s shoulders tightly. “S’okay. It’s just… Sirius and Peter, they... they don't have my parents. My dad started a pro-werewolf campaign in his fourth year of Hogwarts. He's practically insane about it. But... Peter's mum scared the shit out of him about it, and you know Sirius's parents, and-”

“I’m sorry,” Remus repeated pointlessly.

A few minutes, maybe a few hours, maybe years passed before Remus finally worked up the courage to murmur, “I’ve got to go, James.”

James let go of him, pulling back so Remus could see his worried face. “Why?”

Why? Was he mental? Remus laughed bitterly. “Three purebloods know that I’m a monster. Three purebloods that I happen to be living with. Of course I’ve got to go.”

Remus reached out for his trunk, but James kicked it away with Chaser-quality speed. “You’re not leaving, Remus!” he said incredulously. “It’s difficult to be a marauder when you’re halfway across the country!”

None of that made sense. “I’m not one anyways, since-“

“Yes you are!” James burst out loudly. Remus flinched and tried to weakly grab for the trunk again, but James’s hands were planted on his shoulders, turning him so James was looking right at him.

“You’re still Remus,” he said firmly. “You’re still obsessed with plants and you still spend hours at a time in the library, and you still quote Shakespeare just to piss us off and have a dictionary just to humble Sirius. You make fun of me when my ego gets too big and you try to involve Peter in stuff even though he’s stupid as anything.”

“He is not,” Remus defended before he could stop himself.

“Exactly!” James said desperately, shaking his shoulders a little bit. “See? And so what if you’re a werewolf? We all have our things! Sirius’s family are arseholes, Peter’s confidence can’t take the smallest jokes… he scrunched his face up confusedly before proudly deducing, "I don’t have any flaws, but if I did you guys would accept me anyways!”

Remus managed a small laugh through pure shock, bringing his hand up to wipe a tear off his cheek.

James smiled a little sympathetically and added, “It’s not like you’re a deatheater or something. You just have a… a furry little problem, that’s all. We all have problems.”