Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They always tell you there are two sides to fame. They always explain the one side, the "good" side, the money, fans, the opportunities.

But they never tell you the "bad". They never tell you that fame isn't black and white, they never tell you that fame is actually a gray area. They never tell you that after a while... fame? The money? The everything that comes with it?

No longer makes you happy.

That at some point in time whatever you do whether you make music, act, dance whatever it is that you do. Feels less like a love you have, less like something you love and more like something you /have/ todo. It becomes something you dread, it becomes something you hate.

They don't tell you how things you value no longer matter. How your voice no longer feels like your voice, how whatever you say or do never really feels like you.

They never tell you how lose trust in people, how you never know who is there for you, for you and who is there because / they / can gain something.

That's why Izuku sits at his own album release party slightly disgusted with everyone who is there. He barely knows anyone; he knows about 4 people personally.

That's Ochako who has been his best friend since signing over to Plus Ultra records. Shoto, who is a model he met a year after he got "discovered" he is also one of his best friends. Hanta is another musician from another company who has been dating Shoto for a few years.

And Izuku's manager Nemuri or Midnight as people call her. Who apologized repeatedly for how big of a party this is. It was fine, Izuku told her, he knew she didn't have much say when he finished his album.

Izuku looks up at the giant flat screen tv showing his album cover art. Which is a close up of his face in a fogged up shower, his freckles beautifully on display and tears rimming his big green eyes.

His album name: Taste My Heart

Written along the bottom in pretty cursive lettering.

It was exactly as he pictured it, he smiles. This album is probably his best work, he really did put his heart into this album.

After all heart breaks make the best for content.

A year ago Izuku was happy, a year ago Izuku was in love.

Neito Monoma is a well known actor, he was well known way before Izuku got to fame, being a child actor. Way before they dated, at first when they met on the set of Izuku's first music video. He was playing the love interest and Izuku WAS not having a good time.

Neito was obnoxious, he made annoying snotty comments. Worst of all, he made Izuku feel fuzzy on the inside whenever he looked at him with those blue eyes. Whenever he smiled so cooly at Izuku, he felt like his knees were going to give out.

That warm fuzzy feeling only got worse. He saw Neito everywhere , and Izuku isn't talking about like on billboards or commercials. No Izuku means at stores, events, etc. Neito asked Izuku out and the rest is history.

Izuku learned Neito was more than his obnoxious behavior, snotty comments  underneath all that, Neito was sweet, loving and caring. Neito was affectionate, Neito was a lover and not a fighter despite how he came off.

But underneath all that, something darker lurked in Neito. For as loving, caring and sweet Neito was, he was just as jealous and obsessed and scary.

But Izuku loves him... loved. Izuku loved Neito.

Izuku was never scared of Neito, even when he knew he should have been. It's not normal for your significant other to hire men to follow you to keep tabs on you. It's not normal for them to pop up at your record label because you didn't reply to their messages. It's not normal for them to need to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing every 15 minutes.

Izuku should have been scared of Neito. But he wasn't. See love makes you blind and blind Izuku was. Izuku put up more than he should have because he was in love, Izuku put up with more than he could handle.

Izuku snapped, when Neito did. Izuku's eyes cleared the day Neito asked something of him, he / could / not / would / not. They were at dinner celebrating, Neito's recent movie had done well, Izuku single had been top charts for weeks and his record label thought it was time for another tour.

"That's great! Where too this time? North America again? Maybe South?" Neito said

Izuku wasn't sure how to say it was a world tour. He wasn't sure how to say he'd be gone a year , maybe two.

"I-its a world tour love" Izuku replied wringing his fingers "I'd be gone a year or two"

Neito's face darken and Izuku shivered "No"

"What do you mean no?"

"Izuku marry me" Neito said completely ignoring Izuku's question "Izuku marry me and stop singing. I make enough for the both of us. Lets get married songbird"

"S-stop singing? Like give up my career"

"Yes. Let's start a family"

"Neito I love what I do"

"You always complain how it feels like a /job/ how you feel like you can't be yourself. Why not give it up?"

"Everyone complains about their job Neito. Even you. Doesn't mean you don't love what you do"

Neito gripped Izuku's hands so hard, he was afraid he'd break them. "Izuku. My love. My beautiful songbird. You cannot / leave / me. Stop this foolishness, quit your music... Marry. Me"

"I'd be back in a year or two Neito... I / can't / not go"

"Yes. You. Can"

Izuku couldn't believe what he was hearing. Neito was asking him to give up everything he has ever loved, everything he worked hard for.

"If you love me you would"

Izuku pulled his hands away like if Neito's touch burned "No. If you love me you wouldn't ask this of me"

Neito. Lost. It.

It was horrible, Neito needed to be escorted out of the restaurant. The aftermath that followed took such a horrible toll on him, mentally. He is still in therapy for it and he never went on that tour. And Izuku went into hiding for a year.

While in hiding Izuku poured his heart into his music and created this masterpiece of an album.

Izuku looks away from the tv screen, taking a sip of his drink as the melody of his song "Everything Sucks" starts to play. He hums along with the song, it's probably one of his favorite songs on the album.

"You don't look happy" someone says next to him

And maybe Izuku had too much to drink tonight because his mouth to brain filter was gone.

"I haven't been happy for a while" Izuku replies "I just wanna be happy again"

The person snorts "Yeah, the industry will do that to you, Deku"

Izuku snaps his head toward his left and his eyes widen upon sight is his childhood best friend and if Izuku was honest his first love even if the guy didn't know that

Katsuki Bakugo

"K-kacchan"

Katsuki grins....

Chapter Text

Izuku kind of just stares at Katsuki, like a deer caught in headlights. Like he cant believe what he is seeing.

Makes Katsuki grin go wider because Deku doesn't change.

"Oh my gods" Izuku breathes pulling Katsuki in for an expected hug, Izuku always been a hugger. "Kacchan! I haven't seen you in like forever"

Izuku squeezes Katsuki and Katsuki squeezes back.

" 'Course not! Haven't seen your nerdy ass since I was brat" He says.

Izuku gets in one more squeeze before letting Katsuki go with a bright smile. He corrects himself; he knows 5 people here personally... Well maybe it's still 4. After all Kacchan is all grown up with his undercut and piercings, muscles (close your mouth Izuku you are gonna drool).

So maybe Izuku doesnt know him very well anymore, people change, especially over the course of some years. Izuku kind of just has this shell of a person he used to know. But still seeing Katsuki is like coming home, he feels great nostalgia looking at him.

"What are you doing here???" Izuku questions smile still in place

"To see you duh dumbass" Katsuki replies "You know for a famous idol you are very hard to track"

Izuku laughs but his heart beat picks up pace because / Kacchan came to see me?/

"Ah yeah! It's been like that since I got "discovered", if you aren't immediate family there's no way to get to me" Izuku says rubbing his neck sheepishly

Katsuki nods understanding, he is a model after all he knows the drill. Katsuki shoves his hands into his pockets.

"How have you been??" He questions "I heard about um what happened with-"

"Don't say his name. It still kind of hurts"

Katsuki mutters a "sorry"

"It's fine, I-i've been better. Not exactly who I was when I started but not exactly who I've been in the past year... ya know?"

Katsuki nods in understanding "Your music is really great. I always knew you'd make it big"

"Ah thankyou Kacchan" Izuku is blushing.

Katsuki has always been Izuku's number one fan. If it wasn't for him Izuku thinks he might not have had the courage to post covers on watchtube.

"This album is really great. I can never pick favorites with your work but I think its this one" He says

Just as Izuku's song "Broken" begins to play.

Katsuki closes his eyes and Izuku watches as Katsuki seems to allow Izuku words and voice seep into his skin.

"This song is my favorite on the album," Katsuki says when he opens his eyes. "I feel like in this one you really put your whole heart into it"

Izuku smiles because he did, he remembers while working on this song it took him weeks, nothing sounded right, words aren't matching up. When he finally got the words the sound wasn't right. He couldn't do a beat too fast or too slow and when everything /finally/ came together.

Izuku cried. He cried because sometimes he feels like a shell of a boy with big dreams, a bright future. Who saw the world through a glass half full not empty.

Sometimes Izuku is broken and he misses who he was before the fame. Before Neito, before everything. Sometimes Izuku wishes he could just be the boy who played in the sandbox with his best friend.

"I feel like everyone in the industry can relate to this one" Katsuki says "It can take a lot out of you"

Izuku nods "Sometimes you forget who you were before it all. Or you remember too much and wish to go back"

"Tell me about it"

The two fall into simple conversation, comfortable conversation. They shared stories and laughed as if no time had passed and as if they hadn't lost any time at all.

"I've really missed you," Katsuki says, his lips hovering over his drink. "I meant to say goodbye before i left"

Izuku gives a small smile as his heart does back flips in his chest. "I've missed you too" he nods "I know. Kacchan would never leave without a goodbye"

"Next time I saw you, was on tv ya know? The VMAs you were performing"

"The one where I was practically drowning in glitter?" Izuku cringes

Starting up as a rookie idol meant Izuku had to follow a lot of trends which included the glitter phase. Sometimes Izuku still finds glitter in his hair.

Katsuki laughs and Izuku thinks it's still the best laugh.

"Yeah that one! Me , the hag and the old man lost our minds" Katsuki throws his arms up "Hag was practically jumping on the couch yelling how her sweet little Zuku had made it"

Izuku laughs

"I was really proud" Katsuki says "you used to be so scared and to see you be so confident..." he trails off before looking at Izuku with the softest look he has ever seen on Katsuki's face. "It was amazing, seeing you be you without fear"

"I still get scared sometimes, but I always do that thing we'd do to get rid of our jitters?"

"The wiggle worm??"

Izuku laughs "Yes"

"Deku you are joking"

Izuku shakes his head "Nope, it's a ritual before every show. I do the wiggle worm"

Katsuki scoffs in disbelief "Deku you are 26 we came up with that when we were 5"

"Yeah? So? it helpsss- HEY DON'T LAUGH"

Before their conversation can continue one, Midnight snags Izuku's attention from across the room.

"Ah shit" Izuku says "I've gotta go" he points toward Midnight

Katsuki follows his gaze and finger "right. I'll see you around"

Izuku smiles "I'd like that".

Izuku makes his way to Midnight and she starts introducing him to the people she is around. They are people from magazines, website articles. They want small quick interviews, they're not interesting enough to fully keep Izuku's attention, who eyes constantly and not casually find an ash blonde mingling around.

"Izuku? Izuku!" Midnight nudges Izuku who snaps away from Katsuki who lounges on the sofa in perfect line of sight.

Izuku is sure that Katsuki has stayed in his line of sight on purpose. Not that Izuku is complaining, Kacchan is very / nice / to look at.

"Huh? Sorry repeat your question" Izuku asks a lady with glasses

"I noticed you having a long conversation with model Katsuki Bakugo... are you two an item??"

Izuku laughs loudly, "What? Me and Kacchan?? No no we are childhood friends"

Izuku tries not to share too much, but gives just enough history that people get the idea. He and Kacchan are close, but not dating. Kacchan could never see him that way.

Izuku forgets that no matter what you say or how you say it. People can spin it however you like and thats why he still groans the next morning at whats all over the internet

[ Idol Izuku & Model Katsuki?! Childhood friends to Lovers?? ]

Under that is a picture of Katsuki and Izuku smiling and speaking to each other really close.

Izuku rubs his temples feelings a headache coming on just from the headlines

Maybe he should have stayed in hiding....

Chapter Text

Izuku 100% wishes he would have stayed in hiding.

No.

Izuku wishes he was no longer famous.

He wishes he could be that small town boy with big city dreams, that boy who would play covers around a campfire with his friends. The boy who would write songs because / loved / too not because he / had / too.

If Izuku could turn back time, he would. No hesitation. Izuku wants to say he doesn't regret becoming famous, he wants to say that because the positives outweigh the negatives.

Or at least they should.

But what happens when your negatives, the very few of them, are so heavy they outweigh your many positives?

How can you not regret something?

So Izuku will wish upon star after star in hopes that maybe one day he'll wake up in his old childhood bedroom filled with hero merch and artist merch, his instruments. Jolting out of sleep because a dream felt so real.

"Why don't we pull a publicity stunt?" Someone on his PR team suggested.

He is sitting in a meeting with article after article in a slideshow on the screen.

Izuku rolls his eyes.

/Anything to keep the attention/

PR teams are like attention whores. Whatever keeps you in the focus they thrive on it, whether it is good or bad.

"A stunt?" Midnight echoes eyes darting to Izuku who stares aimlessly out the window.

He wants no part of this. He doesn't want to deal with the media, because once he speaks he'll be bombarded with questions about Neito, and he isn't fully /healed/ from that mess.

"Yes. Izuku and Katsuki fake date for-"

Izuku cuts them off by standing up and finally looking at them "No. We arent / using / Kacchan for something so idiotic"

"Izuku you'll sell more albums"

"I dont give a damn. My / friends / aren't pawns for album sells"

"Think about it? Some fake dates and then a simple break up. It'll keep people from asking you about Neito"

Izuku glares "No."

"Izuku I'd advise that you-"

Izuki slams his hands on the table startling everyone

"I said / no / I'm not even fully healed from my relationship with Neito for you to even suggest / something / like this"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Izuku scoffs in disbelief, he shouldn't be surprised but yet here he is.

Surprised.

"Are you / stupid /?" Midnight says her face scrunching in disgust "It / has / everything to do with it. If Izuku isnt mentally healthy for this. We aren't doing it."

Izuku has always been grateful for Midnight, she is the only sane person in this goddamn company he swears it.

"What do we do then??"

"Clear it up obviously. No stupid stunts. A regular ass statement! I AM NOT dating Kacchan. I'M NOT DATING ANYONE" Izuku says practically storming out of the meeting room.

Izuku walks out the front doors of his company and he regrets it / instantly /. Today Izuku is filled with many, many regrets. In a mere matter of seconds Izuku is swarmed by paparazzi

"IZUKU IZUKU OVER HERE" someone yells "Where have you been in the last year?"

"What's your relationship status with Katsuki?"

"YOU'VE MOVED ON SO QUICKLY! WAS KATSUKI ALWAYS IN THE PICTURE?"

Flashes of cameras, overwhelming and invases questions. Izuku wonders where the fuck is the security for the building. They shouldn't have been allowed to get this close, Izuku feels set up.

Izuku pushes his way through the crowd, arm shielding his eyes from the flashes, not saying a thing. Because why did they / need / to know.

That for a whole year he was getting life  together. His mental health together.

That no he and Kacchan are / just / friends. Nothing more nothing less.

That no he didn't move quickly because he isnt in a /relationship/ with anyone.

They don't need to know. It shouldn't matter. And so what if he disappeared for a while, he is back now. So what if he and Katsuki /were/ dating and so what if he "moved on quickly"

None of that shit should matter. Because its /his/ personal business.

"Izuku! Did you hear? Neito is back"

Izuku freezes for a moment, he remembers after everything. Neito left a month later and told Izuku he was going to get help, therapy for his obsessive and possessive behavior. But to the public he was doing a  foreign project and now he was back? Is he better? Or did he get worse? What does that mean for Izuku? For his mental health? Does Izuku want to see him?

So many questions and not enough answers. So many questions and Izuku doesnt think he has the mental capacity to deal with it all.

Izuku snaps out of when there's another flash directly in his face

"IZUKU IZUKU! WILL YOU AND NEITO EVER GET BACK TOGETHER?"

"What??" Izuku didn't mean to answer but he feels thrown into an entire loop right now.

Too much is happening.

Izuku pushes through the crowd again, yelling questions and demanding answers are barely reaching his ears as he finally breaks from the crowd. He looks back, security / finally / showed up.

Izuku came here in a car and Midnight called for him. Izuku doesn't want to have to call cars to take him places, Izuku doesn't want to be swarmed by adoring fans and paparazzi everytime he is out. Izuku would like to walk to the nearest supermarket and have no one recognize him and he can shop in peace.

Izuku doesn't want to be famous. This life is too much for him now. He loved it once, sharing his music with the world, having enough money to take care of his mom. He / was / in love with this life.

But

Now? Izuku hates this life, he doesn't write songs because he loves to. He writes them because he / has / to.

Izuku wants to be happy.

Izuku just wants to be Izuku with no fame attached.

Izuku wants to live and not feel like he is surviving.

Izuku sucks in a breath, it's rigid and it burns his lungs from how hard he breathed in.  He glances over his shoulder noticing a few of the space invaders have broken away from the crowd and on hot on heels.

So Izuku does something he hasn't done since he was a rookie. He takes off running, he knows this will be plastered everywhere by the time he finds somewhere calm to rest. Midnight can handle it and she'll do it properly.

He trusts her.

So Izuku lets the shouts fade behind him, as the sound of his sneakers hit the pavement like drum sticks against drums. When he feels like he is far enough he stop, gulping in air.

"Deku??"

Izuku eyes snap up to meet red ones.

"Kacchan?"

Katsuki has his motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm and he is looking at Izuku concerned

"What are you doing here?" Izuku questions

"Uh, my manager got an email? From your PR Team? Something about what the tabloids are saying"

Izuku curses under his breath

"Those fucking shitheads. I cannot believe them. I oughta fire them" Izuku runs a hand through his hair, looks back at Katsuki and his bike then over his shoulder.

"Need an escape?" Katsuki questions handing Izuku his helmet.

Izuku looks down at it then back at Katsuki.

/Fuck it/

Izuku smiles and pulls the helmet on his head. "Yeah."

Katsuki grins, grabbing his spare from his compartment and pulling over his head. He settles on his bike with Izuku sitting behind him

"Hold tight" Katsuki says and Izuku grips his waist tighter before Katsuki starts the bike up again and takes off. "Anywhere you wanna go?"

Izuku doesn't care where. Anywhere but here.

"I don't care. Just far"

Katsuki nods. He could do that.

-

-

A tight grip on his phone and as he eyes scan the same article for the tenth time.

He knows he shouldn't have looked up Izuku's name. And after all his progress too, his therapist would be disappointed to know he sought out the very trigger he was warned to avoid. But he lacks very little self control / especially when it comes / his / Izuku.

"We'll be landing soon Mr. Monoma, do you need anything else?" The flight attendant asks

"No thankyou" He replies with a small smile.

The lady nods and walks away, Neito's eyes scan the picture of Izuku laughing at whatever the blonde next to says

Seems like Izuku has a type.

But he / knows / he'll always be Izuku's. As Izuku is his.

Izuku just needs to be reminded of that fact.

Neito grins to himself "I'm home baby."

Chapter Text

When the plane lands, the sun is setting. Creating orangey-purple hues in the sky as Neito steps out the plane the warm summer evening air caresses his face. The city sounds like a song made for him, a welcome home melody that would sound so much more beautiful if his sweet song bird could sing for him.

Neito slides into the car that Kendo- his manager has waiting for him. He doesn't address the driver, just lifts the partition and stares at his phone.

The picture of Izuku is still on his screen. He zooms in on Izuku and strokes the photo, with the faintest smile.

They aren't really broken up, you know. Izuku may have said the words, but he didn't / mean / them. They're in love, Neito just has to remind Izuku that they are.

That he belongs to Neito and /no one else/.

Flashback

Neito thinks he might've been hasty, he might've jumped the gun and lost his shit a little. Neito may have or may not have broken up with his boyfriend- Izuku, over a picture that's been floating around the internet like a leaf in the wind.

Neito isnt a jealous man But / something / about Izuku riles him so bad he loses all rational thinking, common sense and whatever the fuck else that allows you to have proper thinking skills.

Neito spiraled okay? He spiraled bad.

Izuku knows how much Neito / hates/ when other people touch him. Especially out in public, they're idols for god sake, two idols in a / very / public relationship.

Izuku is / his /.

So Neito broke up with him. Because there is no reason, Todoroki- ugh, should have been / that / friendly with him, holding him like that. Neito has never liked that one, and he / clearly / had every right not to. He allowed Izuku to stay friends with him simply because Izuku reassured Neito there was / nothing / there. Seemed like a lie now, as that photo haunts his dreams.

Neito lasts all but a week broken up with Izuku. It started with nightmares... Izuku with Todoroki, then anyone else but / him /. Then Neito started seeing Izuku's face everywhere, you know billboards, ads on the internet and hell even his favorite talk show.

Fuck. He realized he missed him.

Neito realized that he had never felt this way for / anyone /. It was then that Neito realized he loves Izuku.

Neito / needed / Izuku back.

So that's / just / what he does. Shows up to Izuku's house unannounced and sits in the greenette's empty apartment because of course Izuku did not change the code to his apartment.

Izuku startled when he entered his house to find Neito sitting in the dark.

"What the hell Neito?" Izuku says harshly

Neito completely ignored Izuku's question. Standing and gripping his face hauling him in for a harsh kiss. Of course Izuku fights it but then he gives in, opens up pretty for Neito like a flower blooming in spring.

Neito pulls away fingers digging into the meat of Izuku's cheeks. Spit trails after their lips, Izuku has this glazed look in his eyes and Neito damn near growls at the sight. Their lips meet again, teeth and tongue nothing about it is soft.

Neito's teeth drag roughly against Izuku's bottom lip, causing him to moan at the pain/pleasure feeling.

"You. Are. Mine" He whispers harshly in Izuku's face.

The glazed look disappears and Izuku shoves hard at Neito's chest. Ripping his face away from the grip. Those green eyes holding a fierce glare.

"Am i?" Izuku questions

Neito growls and tries to kiss Izuku again but he steps away and out of reach.

"Because last I checked? We are /broken up/" Izuku states.

Neito runs his tongue along his teeth before speaking "I'll admit. I jumped to conclusions. But you know how i am."

"Yeah" Izuku says "you are controlling. Neito, Shoto is my best friend. He is in a committed relationship"

"I don't like how he was touching you!"

"It was a / fucking / hug! We hadn't seen each other in months" Izuku yells "what the hell do you expect? That I just avoid my friends? The general public?"

Silence follows that one. Because irrationally Neito wants to say yes. But rationally he /knows/ that's impossible, Izuku is an idol. He has shows, meet and greets, tours. Izuku can't just not be in the public eye.

But at the end of the day Izuku is / his /. No one can touch what belongs to him, not like that. Not ever.

Neito steps to Izuku, who only backs up till his back hits the front door. Neito cages Izuku in nosing against his cheek and jaw "You / belong / to me. Broken up or not." Neito nips Izuku's earlobe and he tries to hide the shudder that wracks through his stocky frame.

"I'm not a / thing / to be owned" Izuku replies breathlessly "I don't belong to / you / or anyone."

Neito pulls back to be nose to nose with Izuku. One hand sliding up to wrap loosely around his throat, instantly Izuku eyes get hooded and one of his hands flies to Neito's wrist.

To either push him away or hold him there is up for debate.

"Aren't you though?" Neito says his voice dropping a few octaves in that way that drives Izuku absolutely mad. "Mine to hold, mine to conquer. Mine to / fuck /. Just / Mine /"

Izuku does nothing but gasp at the words. Neito slides a knee in between Izuku's and licks into that sweet open mouth. Neito dominates Izuku's mouth, his hand squeezes ever so slightly in the way that doesnt cut off Izuku's airways but makes him lightheaded.

Izuku whimpers into the kiss, his hand dropping from Neito's wrist to grasp at his shirt to pull him closer. Izuku slowly ruts against Neito's thigh and it makes him smirk into the kiss.

Shirts go first, Neito's slender fingers tweak and twist Izuku's nipples until the nubs perk and harden under his touch. Once they do, Neito scratches his blunt nails against them making Izuku arch into him and hiss.

Pants go second, Izuku fumbles with the belt of Neito's pants as Neito palms him through his boxer briefs. Izuku moans and pants into his mouth, then his pants drop and he steps out of them kicking them to the side.

Wet.

The sounds that are coming from Izuku are wet, hot and down right pornographic. Gives Neito a high that no drug or alcohol could give, feeling this tone, strong body writhed beneath him. Fingers tangle in his hair tugging and pulling, Izuku's body is marked and bruised.

Anyone who looks at him will know. He belongs to Neito.

So Neito is a bit possessive. Sue him.

Neito curls his fingers hitting that sweet spot that makes Izuku scream his name and make his legs shake.

"Neito" It's breathy, needy. Just how Neito likes him. "Please"

Neito doesn't need to ask what Izuku is begging for, he knows. He needs it as much as Izuku does, if not more. So he pulls his fingers free, listening to Izuku whine at the lost feeling. Lubes up his dick nicely and presses his tip to kiss Izuku's rim.

Staring down at Izuku who is flushed from scalp down to his chest, marked. Hair haloed along the pillow, eyes so blown and filled with lust that the green of his eyes can't even be seen.

Fuck. He is beautiful, why would Neito ever break up with him?

Over something so, so stupid. Over something he easily could have just done this to remind Izuku who he belonged to.

In one swift thrust, Neito bottoms out with a long drawn out groan. Izuku makes a gut punched sound and grapples for his shoulders, nails biting into the skin there.

"Oh gods" Izuku cries "please move"

Neito leans down, capturing Izuku's mouth with a sweet kiss as he pulls his hips back to thrust forward / hard /. The pace is punishing as if Neito is trying to carve his cock into Izuku's body.

Izuku loves every second of it, singing for Neito like a canary. A song so beautiful, perfectly crafted just for Neito and Neito alone.

"Sing" Neito pants as he presses flat palm against Izuku's back, pressing him down into his mattress "Sing for me songbird."

And Izuku does, he wails loudly. Fingers grasping at the bed sheets.

Sweat beads along their bodies, Neito's shoulders have nail indents, his back is scratched raw.

He adores it.

The position has changed, Izuku has his head thrown back in the woes of pleasure as Neito mouths and sinks his teeth in his neck and the section between his shoulder and neck. Izuku's thick thighs carry him along Neito's cock, Izuku's tight abused hole sucking Neito in so good.

"Made for me" Neito groans "Mine"

"Yours" Izuku breathes, leaning his head down to kiss Neito.

Their lips meet, it's all tongue. It's both of them swallowing each other's sounds.

Izuku cries when he cums, untouched. Spurting white along his stomach and part of his chest. The sight is something of heaven, the way Izuku shivers. The way kiss ridden lips part with Neito's name slipping from them, the way tears cling to darken eyelashes.

It's / almost / enough to send Neito over the edge.

"I love you" Izuku hiccups, still clinging to Neito like he'd disappear.

That's what sends Neito over the edge with rough thrust, he cums deep inside Izuku with a shout. His body shakes with his orgasm and shallowly thrusts to ride it out.

Neito presses his forehead into Izuku's chest trying to catch his breath. He presses a kiss to the bite mark he left on Izuku's left pec.

"I love you too," Neito says muffley into Izuku's damp skin.

Lifting his head, Neito grips Izuku's face harshly like he did when Izuku first got home. Pressing a rough kiss to his lips.

"You / are / mine"

Izuku nods dumbly "Yours".

Flashback end

See all Izuku needs is a reminder, a small one that he belongs to Neito.

Mind, body, and soul Izuku is his and he is Izuku's.

Against his better judgment because Izuku has always had this grasp, this chokehold on Neito. Neito gives the driver Izuku's address to take him too.

He can't wait to hold his songbird again.

-

-

Izuku is glad he ran into Katsuki. They've had a lot of time to catch up. Izuku felt like a kid again too, running away from the fans and paparazzi felt like when Katsuki and he would run away from their parents, hiding in the backyard or in the kitchen cabinets of Izuku's apartment.

Riding on the back of a motorcycle is freeing, riding a motorcycle period is freeing.

Izuku doesnt think he has laughed as much as he has today in a long while. For once Izuku felt normal.

He wasn't Izuku the idol or Izuku, Neito's ex or Izuku Neito's boyfriend.

Izuku was just Izuku.

Katsuki nudges Izuku as they exit the elevator of the greenette's apartment complex.

"I still haven't  heard a thankyou for saving yer ass back there" Katsuki says tone playful

Izuku snorts and nudges him back "i said thankyou like forty five times kacchan"

"Forty six times isn't so bad" Katsuki grins "come on, let me hear it."

Izuku opens his mouth to give his thanks when a silhouette by his apartment door causes the words to get caught in his throat. The silhouette is familiar... far too familiar.

So he / is / back.

Izuku stays frozen to his spot, unsure of what to do or how to feel. Slight panic begins to set in when the person turns, his sharp blue eyes making contact with Izuku's wide green ones.

"Songbird" He says, his voice sending a shiver down Izuku's spine.

He can't tell if it's from fear or just from the fact that he may have missed Neito's voice.

Neito opens his arms wide and grins "Welcome me home proper, baby"

Chapter Text

"Actor Neito Monoma has been arrested"

"Ex boyfriend of idol Izuku Midoriya has been seen getting escorted off the idol's apartment complex property by police"

"Neito Monoma reportedly has been arrested for trespassing"

The headlines go on and on. News reports, articles, podcast episodes. It hasn't even been a full twenty four hours and it's everywhere, there are photos, videos and /even/ edits.

Edits.

Its trending, Neito and Izuku are trending, Katsuki is trending and to Izuku it feels like last year all over again. Izuku feels like he is spiraling and he has /just/ returned to the public's eye.

One of Izuku's earlier songs from when he first became famous plays from his phone speaker.

It's an edit a fan made.

//I have a video that I watch in my bed

It replays in my head

You say you love me

We, we lay together every night

You touch me

I, I, I'm losin' track of time

You kiss me

I, I, I look into your eyes//

Izuku thinks there is some form of irony in the song choice. Considering that its the very song and music video in which he had met Neito.

Some form of irony that this person used some clips from that music video, along with pictures and videos of happier times that the couple had when they were together.

//But it's only in my mind

But it's only in my mind

But it's only in my mind

But it's only in my mind

But it's only in my mind//

Suddenly the pictures and videos change. Photos from their /very/ public break up dance across his screen. The last photo is from the night before when Neito got arrested.

Izuku watches it once more and feels an ache in his chest. So he scrolls and another edit pops up, sparks by Coldplay plays as photo after Photo of Neito and Izuku flash.

Their first date, their trip in Monte Carlo. Them sneaking out of a red carpet event to head to the nearest fast food restaurant.

Izuku smiling, Izuku laughing, Izuku happy, him so undeniably in love with Neito it /hurts/ to look at.

To remember a time where Izuku was /just/ in love. Where he wasn't / afraid/ , where he didnt feel like he was breaking at the seams.

Then as quickly as those happy memories have appeared, the bad ones are there. Izuku cried the day they broke up in front of the restaurant, him visibly shaken up. A video from the night before, Izuku honestly doesn't know how people get a hold of these things so quickly.

You can't hear anything over the music but Izuku still flinches as he watches Neito scream over his shoulder as he is escorted to the police car. Izuku can still hear the shattered way Neito screamed his name.

Izuku scrolls. He knows he shouldn't be on any type of social media but he can't help it. He needs something to do with his fingers, his phone was supposed to take his mind /off/ of everything but it's /all/ everyone is talking about.

//We were too close to the stars

I never knew somebody like you, somebody

Falling just as hard

I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody//

It's another edit, a slow- mo with a pink sparkle filter over a video that previously been on Izuku's instagram. The first year Neito and Izuku had been together. Izuku was busy working on his album, he barely had time for /anything else/ . Yet Neito had created a romantic evening on the roof of Izuku's company.

They slow danced to old American love songs and it rained on them but they didn't care. They danced in the rain, they kissed in the rain and Izuku had captured it all in that one video.

Straight out of a romance movie.

//Maybe it's a blessing in disguise (I sold my soul for you)

I see my reflection in your eyes

I know you're sick

Hoping you fix whatever's broken

Ignorant bliss

And a few sips might be the potion//

The edit now has become a muted color, it no longer has a sparkle and the video is Neito being shoved into a police car. His forehead pressed into the window, he is yelling. Screaming so loud that his throat has veins popping, his face is red. Neito's eyes are wide, unfocused and filled with an emotion that's hard to read.

He looks /scary/ to Izuku, unrecognizable.

If you couldn't tell before that Neito was not well. This video shows how unwell he really is. It makes Izuku's heart hurt because love really does make you blind.

How many red flags and signs had he ignored? Simply because Izuku was madly, deeply in love that he only wanted to see the /good/ in Neito.

He scrolls, feeling tears sting at his eyes.

Another edit appears this one different from the others. Way different.

Caption: The way Izuku looks at Katsuki 

Melting by Kahli Uchis plays

The picture that appears is of Izuku and Katsuki from the night before. Katsuki has his arm around Izuku as he speaks to an officer.

//You are my church, you are my place of worship

I heard you're the plug, can I be the circuit?

When I got court, I hope that you're the verdict//

Izuku is looking up at Katsuki like the man is the sun. He is looking at Katsuki in such pure awe. The pictures get zoomed in and if you look hard enough you could practically see Izuku's heart shaped pupils.

//You got some soft lips and some pearly whites (pearly whites)

I wanna touch them in the dead of night (dead of night)

Your smile ignites just like a candlelight (candlelight)

Then somehow, I know everything's alright//

Izuku feels his face heat up and scrolls quickly feeling embarrassed. There is a picture of such a clear expression of Izuku's admiration for his childhood friend.

Another edit appears, Boyfriend by Dove Cameron plays and first it's Neito and Izuku and then just as the lyrics "I could be a better boyfriend than him" starts a slow-mo of Katsuki gently pushing Izuku behind him as he is escorted by police out of the building.

Izuku scrolls and scrolls. There are at least five more edits that have that song attached to it. They all paint Katsuki in a 'hero' light and Izuku kind of can't even deny it.

Katsuki was 100% his hero yesterday. If Katsuki hadn't been there Izuku is sure he would have either had a panic attack or he would have fallen into Neito's orbit /again/.

Izuku has been in a situation like that before with Neito and that ended up with them having sex. Despite how /scared/ Izuku was, the probability of that happening again was way too high.

They were broken up back then much like now, except this time around its /way/ more serious. Neito had broken into his apartment because as smart as Izuku is. He is also that dumb and didn't bother changing his code.

Neito was waiting for him in the dark, like that was /normal/ like that was something you did to someone you loved. Neito had manhandled Izuku into a kiss, that he /tried/ to fight it because it wasn't like Neito /hadn't/ showed up unannounced, broken into his apartment.

But Izuku fell into the kiss, of course he did. He loved Neito then, they had been broken up for a week and Izuku missed him, missed his touch, his kisses. Izuku missed everything Neito was and meant to him.

So even when Neito was speaking about Izuku like he was an object and not a person, he couldn't help how aroused he felt despite wanting to tell Neito how /unhealthy/ his thought process was. Despite how he didnt want to be turned on or in that situation at all.

Izuku loved Neito then and /tragically/ he loves Neito now.

There isn't a /single/ doubt in Izuku's mind had he been alone, he would’ve fallen back into the pattern, easily.

Swipe of his thumb and Izuku is at an entirely new edit with a whole /new/ s ong and vibe.

//Love you like a brother

Treat you like a friend

Respect you like a lover

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

You could bet that, never gotta sweat that (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)//

It's like Izuku's entire childhood is being shown before him. Pictures of Katsuki and him as babies, then toddlers, kids, preteens and teenagers. He smiles at the memories while also wondering how the fuck did these pictures got found.

Fans. He swears they are better than the police.

//If you be the cash

I'll be the rubber band

You be the match

I will be a fuse, boom

Painter, baby, you could be the muse

I'm the reporter, baby, you could be the news

'Cause you're the cigarette and I'm the smoker

We raise a bet 'cause you're the joker

Checked off, you are the chalk

And I can be the blackboard

You can be the talk

And I can be the walk, yeah//

Then pictures change, photos from Izuku's album release party, photos of them driving away on Katsuki's motorcycle and one from last night. Katsuki hugging Izuku, his back toward the camera, Izuku's arms tightly wrapped around his waist. 

Izuku smiles, it's a little sad because he misses when times were simple like the first half of the pictures. It's sad because he feels like he /missed/ so much of Katsuki’ s life, after how close they used to be.

Izuku watches the video once more simply to take in the childhood photos rather than the recent ones. Just as he scrolls his phone is plucked from his hands and tossed on the loveseat across from the couch he is sitting on.

"You needa stay off that shit" Katsuki says, shoving a bowl of hot bowl of soup into Izuku's hands "Eat"

Izuku grabs the bowl "There are so /many/ edits Kacchan"

"So it's what fans do. '' Katsuki clearly not understanding why Izuku seems so bothered by it as he sits on the loveseat across from Izuku.

Izuku brings the spoon to his lips and hums at the warmth.

Izuku has not eaten since mid-day yesterday and whatever he did eat came up after the police had left. Izuku's nerves were shot and his anxiety was at an all time high.

"This is really good Kacchan! Thankyou" Izuku beams at his childhood friend who watches him with an intense gaze.

Katsuki hums "had to get something in you"

Izuku hums and continues to eat. He does his best to ignore the way Katsuki watches him. Izuku knows what's coming, Katsuki is going to ask about his history with Neito, he had always been that crazy like that.

So when he finishes eating he sets the bowl on his coffee table and looks at Katsuki.

"Just ask" Izuku says, Katsuki quirks up an eyebrow, looking taken aback "I rather not beat around the bush. So /please/ Kacchan just ask."

Katsuki stares for a moment before sighing "Are you okay?"

Izuku's head jerks back as that's /not/ the question he was expecting. He opens his mouth and Katsuki shakes his head.

"Like /for real/. Don't give me no bullshit, Izuku."

"I-" Izuku takes a deep breath before he honestly answers "Im okay. Still shaken up but I'm okay. I don't know what I would have done had you not been there Kacchan..."

That was a lie. Izuku /knew / exactly what would have happened.

"Was" Katsuki pauses his jaw locks for a moment "was he abusive when you were together?"

Izuku shakes his head "He wasn't. Neito was kind /always/ , a gentleman."

"So then what the fuck?"

Izuku shrugs, pulling his legs up to his chest. "Neito was always a little /odd/ . I think i might have ignored those oddities in favor of everything else"

"Odd?"

"Yeah" Izuku rests his chin on top of his knees and looks at Katsuki ``he needed to know where i was, who I was with. If i didn't answer his calls or texts messages in a certain time frame he was showing up to my place work whether i gave him that information or not"

"Izuku-"

But Izuku ignores him in favor of talking more. "Once he had a team follow me wherever I went just so he could keep tabs on me I- i didn't realize that wasn't healthy. I thought it was /just/ that he was insecure." He hugs his knees tighter "He always had issues when I made friends with guys, he /especially/ didn't like Shoto. We broke up once over it a-and you saw how he showed up /here/?"

Katsuki nods

Izuku looks Katsuki dead in his eyes and whispers "He was /in/ my house because he wanted to get back together"

"And you didn't call the cops?"

Izuku looks away, his face flushes with embarrassment "He was... /persuasive/"

It takes Katsuki a second and then his face morphs into one that says 'I am disappointed but not surprised'. Izuku doesn't make eye contact, he is embarrassed he even told Katsuki about how /weak/ he is for Neito.

"I don't know how he got in the building. He isn't /allowed/ anymore after our /very bad/ breakup. Midnight made sure that every new security guard is briefed on who he is and why he isn't allowed."

"Why didn't you file a restraining order??" Katsuki questions "You were clearly worried about your safety"

Izuku shrugs "I didn't have the heart too. Plus we are celebrities Kacchan. We are bound to be in the same places together for events. I didn't think he'd do something like this... he left to get help"

Katsuki scoffs "What kind of fucking help did he get?"

"I- i don't know" Izuku sucks in a breath

Remembering the way Neito was standing all so cooly by his apartment door. The way he opened his arms expecting Izuku to run into them. It took Neito a full two minutes to realize Katsuki was even there and only he noticed because Izuku had gone rigid with fear and Katsuki had placed a gentle, comforting hand on a small part of his back.

"Why is /he/ touching you like that?" Neito had said his eyes were becoming dark.

Izuku's mouth opened but no reply came. He couldn't make a sound.

"Songbird. Answer me." Neito stepped closer "why is he touching what's /mine/"

Katsuki had placed himself between them, Izuku remembers feeling panicked not knowing /what/ Neito could do or what he was thinking, or even what Neito was capable of. He remembers the sinking feeling, like suddenly he was drowning.

Izuku gasps when he feels a hand on his back. His face is wet with tears and Katsuki is rubbing his back.

"You are okay" He whispers "You are safe"

Izuku drops his knees and turns his body into Katsuki. Allowing his childhood friend to hug and comfort him, Izuku cries. Katsuki hugs him close, he says nothing, just rubs soothing circles in Izuku's back.

"The worst part is" Izuku says laughing wetly "I /still/ love him"

Katsuki hugs him tighter.

Few hours later, Midnight comes over and Katsuki still hasn't left even when Izuku told it was fine, that he was fine and Katsuki could go home.

The blonde refused and now he is napping in Izuku's guest room as Izuku speaks with his manager.

"Izuku" Midnight says "I know how you feel about a restraining order but-"

"I- i'd like one in place" He stammers "I would /feel/ safer if there was one"

Katsuki and him talked it over. Izuku tried to find every excuse in the book as to why a restraining order didn't make sense. But was always the more rational and logical one between the two of them.

"Stop fighting it!" Katsuki shouted "you are /scared/ of him. And don't give me that "I'm not scared" shit because JUST the sight of him made you /sick/ with anxiety Izuku!"

And Izuku had no words, Katsuki was right. Izuku /is/ scared of Neito, clearly whatever help he has seeked didn't work.

Izuku /needs/ to feel safe. Despite how he felt about getting a restraining order.

Midnight gives him a sad smile and nods "I was going to suggest that. But also i think it would be wise if you moved"

"Move?" Izuku echoes

She nods "Yes. The security team of this building has been compromised. Don't ask me how Neito managed to do that in such a short time but its no guarantee that he'll follow the restraining order AND if he chooses not to... well he has the security under his thumb and that's /not/ safe.``

"That explains how the bastard got let up then" Katsuki tiredly says as he enters the living room

"Kacchan" Izuku says "did you sleep well?"

Katsuki rubs the back of his neck, clearly trying to work out a kink there. "I slept fine, nerd"

Midnight clears her throat and suddenly Izuku remembers she is in the room.

"Oh! Kacchan,this is my manager Nemuri! And that's Katsuki! My-"

"Childhood friend yes yes i know" She says with a smile sticking her hand out to Katsuki "Please call me Midnight!"

Katsuki shakes her hand and gives a small grunt before taking a seat next to Izuku.

"So moving?" Izuku questions

"Yes. I've already called a few place you can check them out if you'd like" Midnight says scrolling through her tablet "I already drafted the restraining order I just have to send it in, it shouldn't take long get approved"

"Okay" Izuku says playing with the sleeves of his shirt

"However I want to create a /proper/ security team for you. One that /can't / be bought out. Which will be difficult considering /who/ Neito is, he has been in the business a lot longer than you and-"

Katsuki speaks up "I think i can help" 

Midnight looks at him "Yeah? What you-"

Katsuki gives a smile "Yeah. I know a guy"