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English
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LLDFest2k22
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Published:
2022-07-20
Completed:
2022-07-20
Words:
2,896
Chapters:
3/3
Comments:
26
Kudos:
137
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20
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694

Blind Spots

,

Summary:

It's a terrible thing, having a friend who knows you better than you know yourself.

Notes:

Written for day 4 of LLDFest, Prompt: Outsider POV.

Chapters 1 and 3 by Laura, Chapter 2 by Tan.

Chapter 1: Xiaoyu (Part 1)

Chapter Text

“He’s just so funny. And when he laughs it’s this cute,” From the other end of the phone call, Zhehan… makes some sort of sound. It doesn’t sound particularly cute to Xiaoyu, but maybe it’s just the phone connection. “But that’s only when he’s really laughing, when he’s pretending or knows people are listening it’s more of a,” this sound is definitely less cute, but at least it sounds like an imitation of someone’s laughter? Maybe?

Zhehan doesn’t wait for a response, he just sighs and continues to extoll his new co-stars many… well, it sounds like Zhehan thinks they’re virtues. So that’s nice for him.

Xiaoyu just puts his feet up and grabs his controller, he might as well waste some zombies while Zhehan talks.

“And everyone just left him on read!” It’s been a while since Xiaoyu has heard Zhehan get this mad about something. “He was being so thoughtful and nice and nobody even bothered responding!”

“Does that include you?”

“That’s different! I didn’t have my phone on me, I responded as soon as I saw! But I know the rest of the cast, they’re glued to their phones, they definitely saw his messages!”

Xiaoyu shifts his phone to the other ear. He’s not really up to much at the moment, just running some errands. Zhehan likes to do this, call him and chat about his day, debriefing just like they do when Xiaoyu is on set with him.

“I’m sure Gong Jun understands that people are busy,” he offers, though none of the things Zhehan has told him about the man have actually given him any insight to this.

“That’s not the point!” A thump, like Zhehan has flopped onto his hotel bed. “The point is that he’s so sweet and nice and thoughtful and people should appreciate that! He wouldn’t admit he was upset about it, but I could tell.”

“When did you talk to him about it? I thought he wasn’t getting back to set until tomorrow?”

“After I replied to his messages last night!”

“You? Zhang Zhehan? Had an extended text conversation with someone?” Xiaoyu raises his eyebrows. “You hate texting.”

“He texted. I was sending voice notes.”

“I’ve told you twenty times how annoying that is! I can’t always turn my volume on and listen to them when you send them, just reply to texts with texts like a normal person!”

“Junjun didn’t find it annoying. He was texting back as he listened to them.”

Junjun? That was new.

“Besides, I know you always have earbuds with you, just use them to listen!”

“That’s not the point! What if I’m out with someone?”

“Then you shouldn’t be replying to texts either! That’s way worse than my sending voice notes, come on.”

“It really isn’t.”

“Junjun likes my voice notes, he even said so.”

It was enough to make Xiaoyu look up to the sky in exasperation. “Sounds like you should be talking to Junjun right now instead of me, then.”

“Fine. I will. You’ll be bored without me to talk to, anyway!”

“You look like you haven’t slept in a week, why are you grinning like that?”

From the phone screen, Zhehan rolls his eyes. “I’m not allowed to be happy?”

“Not after an all night shoot where you could barely keep yourself together between takes.”

He squinted. “Who told you that?”

“Yan Rong did, obviously.”

“I’ll fire her.”

“Please, she’d laugh in your face if you tried.”

“That’s probably true.” Zhehan’s still grinning though, and there’s enough of a flush on his face to come through the phone camera.

“Why do you look like you got lucky?” Xiaoyu asks, then immediately answers his own question. “Oh my god did you finally suck Gong Jun’s dick like you’ve clearly been desperate to for a month?”

“What!” That sound was definitely a squawk. “Yu Xiang, you kiss your mother with that mouth!”

“I kiss yours too, what’s the point?”

“I did not suck his dick” Zhehan insists with the countenance of a man who very dearly wishes he had. “He just…” The flush is even worse now, and the way Zhehan looks to the side sends Xiaoyu’s eyebrows into his hairline. “We kissed.”

“You kissed.”

“Just a little bit. It didn’t mean anything.” Every single microexpression on Zhehan’s face and more than a decade of friendship informs Xiaoyu that he is absolutely lying. It meant a lot, actually. At least to Zhehan. “It was nice, he’s a good kisser.”

It’s not even July yet. This is going to be a long summer.

Chapter 2: Interlude: Daidai

Chapter Text

me:
junjun

me:
you don’t text me anymoooore

me:
I hope filming is ok and that you didn’t melt into a puddle today

me:
it was so hot without a wig

me:
poke me if you ever have a second :)

 

It’s the second or third time that Daidai has sent Gong Jun a similar series of messages in the past week. If Daidai hadn’t known his college roommate and best friend as well, he might have felt guilt. Instead, a small sense of accomplishment warms his chest when he tucks his phone into his pocket. If Gong Jun was ever annoyed, Daidai would know. Chances are that his filming schedule is just too intense or that he’s exhausted and passing out on his bed within ten minutes of shuffling into his hotel room each night.

But Daidai’s not a fool. He knows Gong Jun.

It’s way more likely that Gong Jun has just been spending nights in his hotel differently.

Daidai sends him a silent prayer. Hope you’ve gotten better at kissing. 

The thing about texting Gong Jun is that he may answer immediately—almost too quickly, like he’s been waiting for a message. Equally possible is that it will take him days. He forgets. He gets busy. Daidai knows that Gong Jun saw his most recent message at exactly one in the morning four nights ago. It’s more than likely that he didn’t answer for fear of waking Daidai, and by the time a reasonable hour rolled around the next morning, the task was buried beneath hundreds of other mental notes.

It’s as if Gong Jun thinks there’s no such thing as a “Do Not Disturb” function.

Just for fun, the next time Daidai sees Gong Jun on Weibo, he tries another text.

 

Me:
💕

 

Confirming exactly what he already knew to be true, Daidai’s phone buzzes at him in under a minute.

 

Junjun:
Sorry.

Junjun:
It’s been a lot.

Junjun:
How are you?

 

Daidai curls his socked feet under him on his couch and leans into the corner, just between the back and the arm. It’s his usual spot—cozy enough that he’s worn the cushion down on that one end. Yeah, he’s tried the other side to balance things out, but it’s not the same. Anyway. It’s a problem for later Daidai. There are much more important things at hand. He makes a point to answer Gong Jun quickly, fearing that he’ll be whisked away to some other filming task or, more likely, making out with Zhang Zhehan, before he’s able to answer.

 

Me:
saw his weibo post

Junjun:
Whose?

Me:
oh my god, who do you think?

Me:
just the guy you suddenly switched to cat emojis for

Me:
you’re so in love with him it’s gross lol

 

Daidai watches the appearance of three dots that flash in a rhythmic, almost tantalizing dance while Gong Jun is undoubtedly struggling to muster some response. The three dots disappear, and Daidai smirks. Knew it, he thinks. He shakes his head when the dots reappear and then disappear again within seconds, choosing to spare himself the secondhand embarrassment of Gong Jun’s inability to accept that he’s in love. He switches back to Weibo instead. The first thing that appears on his feed is the post in question—

“Not a single drop left.” Seriously? Daidai gets tired of waiting for Gong Jun to respond and continues his own line of conversation.

 

Me:
so you’ve been sleeping with him

 

The lack of question mark is intentional. Daidai knows this has been happening. He doesn’t need to be physically near Gong Jun to understand precisely what’s going on in his best friend’s head.

 

Junjun:
Well, yes. It helps.

Me:
it helps? With what, Junjun? why so clinical. this is sad.

Me:
you can’t cite character research for every big life decision you’ve ever made

Junjun:
What are you even talking about

 

Daidai knows he’s ruffling feathers when Gong Jun drops the punctuation.

 

Me:
like when you finally told me you were gay

Me:
after that one drama where you had to kiss so much

Junjun:
What’s wrong with getting fed up pretending to be in love with women on camera and getting emotional about it?


There’s a lot to unpack in that question, especially considering that Daidai is also a gay man working in the entertainment industry. He changes the conversation’s direction again. This might be the most focused he’s ever been in his life.


Me:
you’re clearly in love with him, junjun

Me:
i’ve never seen you get all sappy like that on social media

Me:
much less for someone you’re fucking

Me:
you’ve never told ME not to stay up too late

 

No, it doesn’t matter that Daidai knows this situation so well because he’s lived it. It doesn’t matter at all that he knows firsthand how paradoxically distant Gong Jun can become once intimacy is involved. He’s never quite been able to figure out how the transition happens in Gong Jun’s head, but if Daidai has to guess, it’s fear.

Fear of who he is, fear of whom he wants.

Clearly, Zhehan is the one who’s finally made him unafraid to be himself. It’s a huge deal, and Daidai is going to ensure that Gong Jun knows it.


Junjun:
It’s not like that. We’re co-workers. Do you know how uncomfortable that could become if we were to let it go too far?

Me:
are you happy?

Junjun:
...Yes.

Me:
then who cares? you’re in love and you’re happy. can I remind you that this is a good thing

Junjun:
Dai Jingyao.

 

Daidai’s stomach drops when he sees his full name standing alone in a text bubble from Gong Jun. A second later, his phone rings with Gong Jun’s request for a video call, and that’s when Daidai knows he’s truly pushed some buttons.

Gong Jun’s expression when his face enters the screen is exactly what Daidai expects it to be—firm, with his jaw set because he’s grinding his teeth as he thinks, no doubt. It’s soft, too, almost worried, and his eyes glisten with some kind of desperation because he’s clearly trying to figure all of this shit out while Daidai calls it like it is.

“Hi, Junjun. Did you know you’re blushing?”

“No.” Gong Jun says the word firmly, more like he’s saying “no” to the idea of Daidai speaking at all rather than actually answering the question. 

Daidai feels his grin spread from ear to ear. “Looks like a nice room. They really set you up, huh?”

“That’s not what we’re talking about.”

Gong Jun is being so typical Gong Jun that Daidai’s smile remains firm, further dimpling his cheeks. “Right, we were talking about how you’re in looooove.” Daidai drags out his words and pitches his voice into an adoring taunt, because he knows he’s the only person who could ever tease Gong Jun and survive.

Except (probably) Zhang Zhehan.

“Also, you’ve got static, 5G boy.”

Gong Jun waves it off and rolls his eyes. “Will you please stop saying that?”

Daidai pauses. His expression softens, and he takes a deep breath. He feels for Gong Jun. He loves him, too, in his own way. To see him comfortable and happy around another man is something that Gong Jun should be celebrating, and Daidai wants to make sure Gong Jun knows it.

“Okay,” Daidai concedes. “But I know you. I’m calling it like I see it.” He sees Gong Jun’s mouth open in protest and interrupts before more words erupt and divert from the point. “I’m calling it like I see it because I’m happy for you. And I want you to be happy, too. That’s all.”

It’s not until the hint of background noise that Daidai thinks he hears turns off and is followed a few minutes later by the characteristic rustling of someone rifling through a toiletry bag that Daidai recognizes the background noise was more than that.

It was a shower.

“Oh my god. Is he in there with you?”

“I’ll think about it,” Gong Jun says, something which Daidai guesses is a response to everything. “Thanks, Daidai.” Just as Daidai is nearly positive that he catches a glimpse of another (decidedly naked) person slipping into view behind Gong Jun, the camera hurdles downward into a pair of white bedsheets before the call disconnects entirely.

Wow.

Daidai can’t help but laugh, and he tries to ignore that his face is heating a little just from the near instance of seeing another man’s—definitely Zhehan’s—body. He lets his own phone fall into his lap and leans his head backwards over the arm of the couch. Silver bangs flop on his forehead.

“Oh, Junjun,” he sighs aloud.

No, Daidai doesn’t have a confirmation that Gong Jun is in love, but he doesn’t need one. He’s seen it from the beginning, and maybe now Gong Jun will, too.

Chapter 3: Xiaoyu (Part 2)

Chapter by

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

…missed call - Xiaoyu

…missed call - Xiaoyu

…missed call - Xiaoyu

Me:
Is something up? Zhehan hasn’t answered my calls in a few days.

Yan Rong (ZZH Studio):
You don’t know? Wow I just assumed he told you everything.

Yan Rong (ZZH Studio):

Xiaoyu squints at his phone. Why had she sent him a picture of Gong Jun getting out of makeup… Wait.

He switches chats immediately.

Me:
YOU SWORE YOU DIDN’T HAVE MY SHARK SHIRT ZHEHAN. I HAD TO BUY ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LOST.

“I should let you go to voicemail, see how you like it.” Xiaoyu grumbles, even as he picks up the call.

“I texted you! You knew I was alive.” He can hear Zhehan’s cutesy voice coming before he speaks. “Did you miss our evening calls? I never knew you liked them so much, Xiaoyu!” He drags out the syllables of his name, impossibly long.

 

“Oh shut up. Too busy sucking dick to chat with your best friend, I see how it is.”

“There’s more two men can do in the bedroom than suck each other’s dicks, you know.”

“Please do not tell me any details. I am literally begging you.”

“Your loss.” His sigh can only be described as dreamy. “It was nice. You know how it is, trapped in Hengdian for the summer, need to blow off some steam. Casual. No strings, just sex.”

There are so many strings Xiaoyu can see them all the way from Shanghai. “Zhehan…”

“Oh no. No. That’s your concerned voice. Save it.”

Xiaoyu keeps his tone measured. “You’ve never had casual sex once in your life.”

“That you know about!” As though Zhehan has not told Xiaoyu every detail of ever fuck he’s ever had, despite how much Xiaoyu begged him not to. “Besides, Junjun doesn’t think of me like that.”

“What?”

“Don’t get all protective about it! It’s fine. Maybe you’re right and I like him. A lot. More than like him. It doesn’t matter, getting to have him as a friend is so much more important than anything else. I’m so glad to have met him, we’re making a great show. I’ll take whatever he’s willing to give me.”

“You deserve more than that.”

“It’s not about that. I’m happy, Xiaoyu. I promise. He eats ass like it’s his job, I’ve never come so hard-”

“I literally begged you not to tell me this.”

Xiaoyu does not like Gong Jun.

He has not met him, but the picture that Zhehan paints is… He knows Zhehan can be a bit of a tornado, sucking people in with how freely he gives, how openly he cares. Xiaoyu has been trying to protect him since the first time they met.

This Gong Jun, without any decent credits to his name, walks in and seduces him with expert kisses and great sex. Preying on how much of himself Zhehan puts into every role. It’s opportunistic and gross and Xiaoyu is going to put a stop to it.

(And get his shark shirt back in the process.)

Xiaoyu is on set less than three hours before he realizes three things:

  1. Zhehan is in love with Gong Jun. Not infatuated, not too deeply into this role, not blinded by great sex. He’s full on, head over heels, once in a lifetime forever kind of love.
  2. Gong Jun is just as much in love with Zhehan. He’s not the confident, suave playboy Xiaoyu expected. He’s an awkward baby giraffe of a man who looks at Zhehan like he’s the only person he ever wants to see for the rest of his life.
  3. They are both complete idiots who think the other doesn’t return their feelings.

Gong Jun’s assistant meets his eyes over the heads of their besotted charges and just shrugs. She’s clearly aware of the facts here too.

These fools are on their own. Xiaoyu doesn’t get paid enough to solve this for them.

Notes:

Thank you for reading! Find us on twitter: @SurelyNotLaura & @tangerine_txt