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Chapter Text

[Nya - 5/11/21]

“Zhongli Senpai!~” I called out cutely, raising my hand and flailing it to get the hot senpai's attention..uwu

Zhongli-senpais amber eyes looked over at me kyaa!!! His gentle smile making me blush, how embarrassing >///<

“Oh? Y/N what brings you here? I was just thinking about you..” Zhongli-senpai paused, looking at my face!?!?

“..Are you okay, your face seems quite red.” He spoke, concern in his voice, ahh!!!!! Senpai-sama was thinking about me!! My face grew like a tomato as I felt a hand on my forehead, blushing madly!

“S-senpai...” I croaked, superrrr embarrassed!

“Y/N I could brew you some tea… It will take six hours”

Getting tea made by the CEO of geo, zhongli-senpai-sama-kun 0-0 I quickly nodded my head smiling cutely!!!

“Lets go to my place y/n-chan” I giggled and agreed with a cheerful ‘yes!’ Holding onto and leaning onto the taller man. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that stinky, oily dandruff hair ed sheeran boy.

The ugly orange haired man looked defeated as i turned to look at him and stuck my tongue out and giggling. Senpai will be mine

Senpai-kun orders a cab and we both get into it, I felt my eyes get heavy and fell asleep, leaning onto Zhongli-senpais shoulder owo

Chapter Text

[keqing - 5/13/2021]

I stretched my arms wayyyy overhead, looking at the setting sun and smiling. I just finished my day of work at the tea brewery and was given the rest of the day off.

I skipped down the street, ignoring all the boys that looked at me. There was only one man for my heart and that was-

I swooned, skipping my way to Wangsheng funeral parlor.

"Zhongli-senpaiiii~"

Zhongli was the most handsomest man and I was the most luckiest girl to have a dinner date with him! Aaah, Zhongli-senpai, so tall and smart, he was my perfect dream!

"Good evening y/n." Zhongli says with a small nod of acknowledgement. Kyaa! His gentlemanly ways and polite mannerisms are always so soft and sweet!

"Let's go!" I grabbed Zhongli's hand, interlacing our fingers and tugging him off to our secret hiding spot. His hands were so big and gentle.

As we walk through the crowds of Liyue, I turn to you, the reader, and wink. "you want some backstory about our hiding spot? ok heres the story."

It was last week, the ladies at the brewery were bullying me because i was working too fast and it made them look bad. But they were bullying me in small ways, not like how i was bullied when i was in school (insert sobbing). I didn't know they were being passive-aggressive until one of them shoved my hard work of the counter just as the inspector arrived! I was so embarrassed! I ran out of the store. I ran all the way to the bridge and I swore i could still hear those snickers. I cried for a long time, avoiding all passerbys.*sniffle* I didn't want pity, I just needed someone to hug me and tell me that everything was ok. But I was on my own. When I composed myself, I decided to wander around Liyue and enjoy the scenery before returning to my dreaded job and apologizing to boss. i explored some new places and found the most handsomest man sitting at a table all alone! It hurt me to think that he could've gone through something like me so I approached him. and as they say, the rest was history~

We picked up our advance picnic basket order and it smelled so good! Aaah i closed my eyes as i inhaled the scent, when i looked back up, Zhongli-senpai was looking at me with a soft smile. Aaah?? His pretty amber eyes were fixated on me. My face exploded like a tomato with blush.

"A-ah Zhongli? Why a-are you l-looking at me l-l-like that?"

He blinks himself out of his stupor, coming back to the present moment. He looks so cute i want to boop him hehe uwu.

"It's nothing," he reassures me, his voice so deep and smooth like the finest velvet, "You seem to really like the food we ordered for tonight."

I giggled, "Well good food must always be enjoyed with good company!"

Zhongli-senpai's smile widened and I grinned back. I was glad to have these personal moments with him. Without that Harbinger or catgirl-wannabe secretary anywhere around.

Tar-tar tortilla thinks he's got an edge because he funds Zhongli-senpai-sama's daily expenses but that can't beat quality bonding time! I won't let it!

And the girl with cat-ear hairstyle may say she detests him all she wants but I've seen her rex lapis figurines, I’ve seen the way she admires his hair, I know she wants him grrrr. 

Zhongli-senpai lays out a picnic blanket for us to sit on. I take a moment to admire his rich ombre hair. The dark chocolate hue that transitioned smoothly to a bright amber that I could swear was glowing.

I swallowed nervously, I had to get the words out before we lapsed into our usual routine. I sat down beside senpai-kun, jumping a little when our arms touched.

“Ah, senpai-kun~” I started, nervously wiping my hands on my simple dress.

“Yes, y/n?” His deep voice rumbled, making my heart beat a mile a minute. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I looked down.

Come on! I had to do this.

“I-i…” I peek at Zhongli-senpai. His calm and patient gaze rested on me. I smile in response.

“I… like you, a lot, and, if we could,” My words died in my throat, but I already committed myself, “If we could be a- a romantic couple, I would like that a lot.” 

I look away, choosing instead to pick out what I want to eat from the basket, but Zhongli-senpai gently rests one of his elegantly gloved hands on my forearm, stopping my movement. I’m almost too embarrassed, but I look into his amber jewels anyway.

“I, also, have caught feelings of the romantic sort for you.” K-kyaa? Was I hearing right? Zhongli-senpai-kun… likes me???

“Oh! Well- well that’s good then!” I said. I was so happy that I decided to tell him.

Zhongli-senpai tugs me closer by the arms, closer and closer until I’m enveloped in his arms, breathing in the scent of old books and osmanthus wine. I reposition myself in his arms until we are both looking out at the scenery.

Chapter Text

[tasty 6/3/21]

PART ONE

Shit! Shit, shit, shit. I ran as fast as I could. I was already 20 minutes late to my job. Today was totally going to be the day they fire my ass.

I am running so fast that I forget to look where I'm going and run headfirst into someone or something. “Sorry,” grumbles the deepest, richest, most beautiful male voice I've ever heard.

I look up to see the face of the person I’ve run into and I almost pass out. He is so tall and has nice, muscular legs for days. His tight pants accent the definition of his calves very nicely. As I look over his body even more my face erupts like a volcano and I have to bite my lip to keep from gigling. I glaze over his strong leanly muscular forearms and his soft, big hands. Finally my eyes land on his face and my palms start to sweat.

His cheekbones are high and his nose is petit. His jaw is so defined that for a second I imagine myself lick...but I shake that thought from my head. Next my eyes land on his lips, and OH MY they are plump and thin and the most lovely shade of red you have ever seen, I can imagine they feel like pillows when you kiss them. And finally, oh finally, I look at his eyes, and, and I have a stroke

The breath is knocked from my lungs as I take in the full beauty that is his perfectly slender, almond shaped, sunset colored orbs. I swear there are a million different layers to his eyes, gold, yellow, deep brown, light brown, and a million different beautiful colors all layered into one beautiful, spectacular, lovely lovely pair of eyes.

“Are you ok?” The voice says again and that snaps me out of my haze.

I wipe my cheek, was I actually drooling? And I reply, “Wh-Oh y-y-yeah I-I-I’m fine.” The man extended his lean fingers toward me to help me get up.

I slowly wipe my palms off on my pants and finally get up off the floor. When I look back at the man he is holding one of my papers towards me. I flare up bright red and shyly take the paper from him. My hand momentarily brushes his and OH GOD I feel sparks from his soft, strong hand and an involuntary growl escapes my throat, which causes the man to chuckle. WHICH IS QUITE A NOISE. I thought his voice was good but this was better. It sounded like a god singing, his chuckle locked my knees and I wasn't able to move, I just stood there staring at him.

Once I finally came back to the present, and stopped fantasizing about his as- about his eyes. This whole conversation couldn’t have lasted more than a minute. He opens his mouth to say something else but I am so embarrassed about my behavior that I start running, leaving him standing there.

I hear him yell, “I don’t even know your name,” but I don’t stop running and will not stop running until i’m safely at my job

-

PART TWO

I. CAN. NOT. STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. MR. TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME. I ran away from him so fast that I wasn’t even late to my job. Ever since I ran away he just will not leave my mind. His deep sensual voice, his strong masculine hands, his sharp jaw. It all invaded my head and made it so very hard to work. It made it so hard in fact that my boss let me go because she thought I was sick. I WAS SO OUT OF IT THAT SHE THOUGHT I WAS SICK. UGH, I wish he would just leave my mind already (I mean he is the sexiet man I’ve ever seen and the intrusion is not disliked at all).

After my boss let me go early, I walked aimlessly around, not knowing what the fuck to do. Then the brightest idea popped into my mind, what If I tried to find that man again.

Yes this is a great idea and absolutely nothing can go wrong. I’ll just find him, tell him how I feel and then we will live happily ever after. Thats a really fucking great idea.

But then the doubt started to settle in, how was I even going to find him? It’s not like I can just ask people to point me in the direction of a hot man with dark brown hair. But I swallowed the little pride I had and asked the first person I found to point me in the direction of the tall man.

“D-do you know a uh…” I asked the next person I found after tapping on their shoulder. The man that I stopped turned towards me and used his piercing blue eyes to stare me in the eyes, he chuckled and said, “go on girlie, i'm listening.”

I try to break eye contact but his eyes are too attention catching, my palms start sweating and I glow bright red, “do you,” I rub the back of my neck with my hand, causing both my hand and my neck to get more sweaty I gulp and grow a pair and ask, “can you help me find someone?”

The man closes his eyes and chuckles once again, and rakes a hand through his ginger hair, and holds out his hand. At first I didn't know what to do, but then I shyly rub my hands down my pants to dry them and shake the man's hand.

“My name’s Tartaglia, but you can call me Childe. And you, what’s your name girlie?”

“My name is y/n,” I reply and quickly take my hand out of this man's hands. They are slender but also very muscular but I somehow feel uneasy when I’m near him. I swear I’ve heard the name childe before but I just don’t know where.

“What a lovely name you have,” he says and mockingly bows to me. “Now y/n, what does this person you're looking for look like?”

-

PART THREE

“What does this man look like?” Childe asks me for the third time, he can tell im holding back. “I told you, I’m bad at describing things. He’s a tall man with brown hair,” I say for the third time, getting really tired of Childe’s line of questioning.

“Oh come on you can do better than that. Any defining characters, anything that slightly makes him different from any other tall brown haired man that lives in Liyre Harbor.” I take a deep sigh and close my eyes. I imagine his thin, perfectly sculpted waist, his golden red rimmed eyes, his perfectly plump and juicy lips, and before I know it I've perfectly described the mystery man out loud to Childe.

He’s just knowingly staring at me and I'm turning more and more bright red by the second. “See i knew you could describe people,” Childe says with a, for lack of a better word, childish grin. I swallow all the pride I can and ask, “so do you know who I’m talking about?”

Childe doesn’t say anything, just stares at me, I start to heat up like im the sun. Childe won’t stop fucking staring at me and suggestivly raising his eyebrows and I think my head is going to explode from embarrassment when I finally snap.

“CAN YOU HELP ME OR NOT?” I slam my hands down at the table we are sitting at since we couldn’t just stand around casually discussing legit stalking, “BECAUSE IF YOU CAN’T I'LL GO FIND THE NEXT COCK SUCKER TO HELP ME. ALL I ASKED FOR WAS HELP, NOT TO BE RIDICULED,” I stand up and a strand of hair lazily falls into my face and I angrily blow it away, and when it falls back down I angrily rake my hand through my hair and just stare at childe, who is staring at me kinda slack jawed.

“WHAT?” I angrily ask him when he won’t stop staring at me and doesn’t say anything for a straight minute.

Childe quickly closes his slack jaw and clears his throat, “No, nothing nothing, i’ll help you.”

“Are you sure, because if this is how productive our search will be I better widen my options..” I say it as a joke, because really no one else is going to help me, but my comment seems to have ignited something in Childe.

“No I’ll help you,” he angrily says and I swear that I see a glint of lightning purple in his perfectly blue eyes.

“Great,” I say, finally realizing that this man may not be the safest to be around.

-

PART FOUR

“So what does this Mr. What do Zhongli do for a living?” I asked Childe for probably the 5th time. He lets out a rough sigh and says “for the last time He works at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor as a consultant, ok?”

I nod, slightly put ill at ease by his tone, but I swallow my worries since I am now so close to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, we arrive at the door and I burst open, not really

I shly open the door and quietly close it behind me. I slowly walk up to the front desk and am greeted by a woman in a black hat.

Her voice is somewhat whimsical and really draws me in, “Hello welcome to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor,”

I open my mouth to say hello but the woman keeps talking, “My name is Hu tao, and If you buy one casket you get the second for free. Also if you buy in bulk there will be a hefty discount. Can I offer you a punch card, once you get 8 stamps you get one casket for free! And finally you can sign up for our adventurers discount and get your casket 50% off! You adventurers are our best consumers, what brings you in?”

I wait a second to make sure Hu tao doesn’t continue on her rant, “I came here to see Mr. Zhongli”

Hu Tao lets out a depressed sigh, “What’s with all the young women coming in to see Zhongli? I’m trying to run a business here! If I knew Zhongli was going to be so popular amongst the younger generation I would’ve used him as a marketing ploy. I always get women coming in here ‘Zhongli this’ ‘Zhongli that’ when will someone come in here WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS A CASKET?”

I feel like I want to cry, I feel so embarrassed by Hu Tao’s outburst that I think about bolting, but I plant my feet in place and say, “Sorry, I just needed to talk to him about something.”

Hu Tao had already mentally checked out of the conversation however, she barely looked at me as she said, “He isn’t here,” and she waved her hands in a motion telling me to leave.

I sadly walked out of the funeral parlor to find Childe sitting on a bench.

“So did you talk to Mr. Sexy man?” Childe asks, springing up off the bench he was sitting on and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

I shrug his arm off and reply, “he wasn’t there.”

Childe strokes his chin, “Well don’t look so glum girlie we’ll find him eventually, why don’t we go to BuBu pharmacy to get you something to cheer you up.”

I sigh and let Childe lead me to the pharmacy without a word. He tries talking but I’m not in the mood, I just keep quiet.

Once we finally walk up all 1,000,000 steps leading up to BuBu Pharmacy I walk in to be bombarded with Zhongli standing right in front of me, shirtless.

-

PART FIVE

I quickly cover my eyes but it’s too late. I've seen the pure perfection that is Zhongli’s Torso, it’s burned in my brain. He was leaning back on his palms and his torso was as slight and thin as a slab of beef (and that it was). He had a 6 pack, but it wasn’t noticeable, it was slightly defined which was better, he stomach looked rock hard and yet soft and warm as it slowly rose and fell. My eyes shifted down to the sharp definition of his hip bones and then snap up to his collar bones.

It happens all over again, I short circuit, I start staring and drooling and I can’t stop turning red. I feel a sharp pain in my ribs and that snaps me back to reality.

I mentally thank Childe for elbowing me in the ribs and I wipe the drool from my lip.

After further examination I realize that Zhongli has a slight cut just below his hard, defined, peck. My eyes linger just too long on his peck and I notice the hard, square shape of it and the nice, round shape of his nipple. I bite my lip only to be shaken out of it once again by a hard elbow in my ribs.

I silently thank that Childe is with me as I ask, “What happened?”

Zhongli laughs his deep husky laugh and I vibrate with pleasure, “Just a small scratch nothing to worry about. Funny running into you here. And funny seeing one of the Fatui Harbingers with you as well.”

“Ah my name is y/n and…” I process the last thing that Zhongli says and I whip my head around and look at Childe, angry as hell, I grab his arm and angrily pull him out of the shop.

“YOU ASSHAT. YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON. YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WHERE A FATUI.” I scream, then realize how awful that idea is. I awkwardly curtsy, for no reason, and profusely apologize, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, please don’t hurt me.”

To that Childe laughs, a raw husky laugh, and he just walks away, just walks away.

I debated whether I should run after Childe, but my dream guy is just on the other side of the door. So I shrug off the altercation and walk through the door.

Zhongli is still sitting there, still staring at me, and I feel butterflies in my stomach all over again. “Hey, Zhongli there was something I-” Just as I was about to confess my feelings a fruity yoga dilf walks out from behind the counter.

“Put this on and you should be all healed up babe,” The fruity man says.

“Thanks Baizhu,” Zhongli replies and Baizhu leans in to kiss Zhongli on the lips.

I am standing there mortified, Never in my life had I been so wrong. I can’t believe this is happening to me. Before Baizhu can even finish “so what brings you here,” I am out the door and running down the millions of steps. I run to the nearest secluded tree and just start sobbing.

-

PART SIX

I am sitting under a tree, sobbing, I feel so completely embarrassed I don’t know what to do with myself. I just want to stay here all day and sob, but in the orange pink glow of the setting sun I think that it’s time I leave.

I am just about to get up when a dark shadow descends over me. I slowly look up to see who’s standing in front of me to find that it’s Childe, he holds out his hands, like i’m some spooked pony.

“Look I'm just here to talk, I promise I’m not going to do anything.” And I am just tired enough that I move over a little and pat the ground that I’m sitting next to.

Childe lets out a relieved sigh and sits down raking a hand through his tousled orange mop. Childe turns to me and nervously grabs the back of his neck, “So uh, I saw you leave the pharmacy upset, and I- uh, wanted to make sure you were. Ok.”

I weirdly stare at Childe, but don’t say anything so he continues. “I had a really good time with you today,” He nervously chuckles, “you test me in ways no other human has been able to, I find myself drawn to the way you talk to me and the way you challenge me.”

I tilt my head, very very confused at what Childe, A Fatui Harbinger, was getting at.I start shaking my head in confusion and begin to ask, “What do you mean?”

But I am cut off by the feeling of Childe's lips on mine. I’m surprised that he would do this, but I don’t break away. I just let him kiss me in the fading light of a cool Liyre Night.

THE END

Chapter Text

[keqing 5/11/21]

I sighed, resting my head against the cool glass of the window. I loved my friends, really, but the way they insist on going out every night to extravagant restaurants has added extra pounds AND extra mileage. 

The night was cool. So cool, in fact, that the inner side of the windows were started to fog up. 

My face felt feverish, maybe it was something I ate? My cheeks were unnaturally warm. I'm definitely in no condition to drive home like this. I leaned more to the side, pressing my cheek against the cool glass.

It was so refreshing, but it wasn't really helping. That was strange. Leaning on car windows was always my personal brand of therapy and relaxation.

Car window, you have betrayed me.

I trusted you.

I rely on you when I am too weak to continue.

I gasp. Something... changed? I turn so that Im resting my forehead on the window rather than my cheek and temple. The tip of my nose just barely squished on the glass. I exhale heavily through my mouth, watching the fog spread. A sweat broke out on my forehead. The car window, was so, it felt so nice, I wanted to be wrapped in it for eternity.

Chapter Text

[nya 7/13/21]

“Y/n....”

The meaty voice of the roach softly breathed out.

I try to get away, but the tall, hot, strong roach is faster and pins me against the wall.

I hold my breath looking away.

“Y/N. Look at me”

The sexy roach repeats using one of its many limbs to tilt my head up to look at it.

Slowly, we start to kiss before making sweet, sweet ove to eachother later 👹

(A/N: Hehe tuwuank u fowr watchwinh littwe cuties uwu owo )

Chapter Text

[terra 7/15/21]

I walk down the aisle of chairs and desks, ready to meet the forbidden love that awaited me in the moonlight.

We both knew it was wrong, but how could we resist? My heart is pulsing, awaiting to meet the one who will take my heart away. My hair swayed, as the gentle breeze danced around the classroom. Was this really going to happen?

In fact, how did this happen? Back to 2 months ago.

The first day of school has begun. Finally. This is the day. The last day of this hell hole. I can finally make it to college. I stride to my classroom for the year, 3-B. Though I was ecstatic that the day was going well thus far, it all drained once I found out who my teacher for the year would be. A stunningly gorgeous tall male stood in front of the class. I noticed him at first, my brother’s best friend since childhood was going to be my sensei.

The two would always be together, they were inseparable for that matter. It was always “I’m going to play with Crayola Crayons” or “Crayola Crayons and I are going to draw”. Crayons-san and I have never met but that would be due to the fact I always hid whenever he was at our home because yes, I had a crush on him. And all those overdue feelings were coming back. At. This. Moment.

Nope. Can’t do it. I started to maneuver my way out of the classroom as sneakily as possible. The anxiety and feeling of an endless pit in my stomach strengthening as if feeding off my embarrassment for their life.

“Yo! Y/N!” An obnoxiously loud voice rang out through the classroom. I hoist my body to face the classroom. The person in question who triggered this was none other than Tommy Fricklemen. A good friend I had made in my second year. I look more attentively to find everyone who has settled in staring at me, even Crayons-Sensei. KYA! COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE??

[A/N; y/n x crayons was never finished </3]

--

[tasty 7/17/21]

School. The most boring, most suffocating crap fest you have ever had to endure. You sigh as you press enter to start a new paragraph on the 3,000 word essay due tomorrow. It’s midnight, almost 1 am and you just want to sleep, but you can’t until you finish this essay.

You rub your tired, burning eyes and yawn deeply and take another sip of coffee that doesn’t even work at this point. You last an astounding 5 seconds before your head bangs into the keyboard and you're sleeping.

You wake up, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour later, your perception of time isn’t the best. You take a big chug of water and swish it around your mouth to get the weird sleep taste out of it and go right back to writing. Right as your fingers touch the keyboard you feel a spark and the whole computer goes black.

Great, you think, now you’ll never finish this goddamn essay. But a second later the computer reboots back up and starts lightening the screen. But it doesn’t stop, it keeps brightening and brightening until you feel like your eyes are about to fall out. You shield them until you're sure it’s safe to look again.

Sure enough, a few seconds later your whole room is dark again, except for a rainbow glow in the corner of your room. You carefully walk to the glow, and gasp in surprise when you realize it is the most sexy man you have ever seen, you might’ve lost control of your bladder for a second even. It’s the google chrome man.

PART TWO

“Where am I,” the chrome man says, and a ripple of pleasure runs up your spine and causes your arms to bump, this man has the deepest, most sensual voice you have ever heard (while the author think he sounds more like fucking austrailian siri but ig you have your type not gonna judge).

You swallow the huge lump in your throat and start to stutter out a sentence, “M-my room.” (good one) The chrome man, who has thick, meaty, muscularly defined thighs, and a pair of calves that make you want to scream mommy and cling to them for dear life. He’s wearing a business suit, which you always thought looked good on just about everyone (tuxedo effect much).

Besides his perfectly built lower half and his exceptionally round ass, he had broad, muscular shoulders, and a nice, v shaped torso, and to top it all off he had a round, google chrome head with one big, blue eye in the center.

He nods, looks around your room, and then sits on your bed, you want to sit on his lap, but you think that would be coming on a little strong so, you slowly make your way to your bed and sit incredibly close, your thighs touch and a spark of electricity, both physical and metaphorical.

“So…” The chrome man awkwardly said. Was the chrome man nervous… about you sitting next to him…?

“So,” you reply, and slowly put your hand on top of his and intertwine your fingers. The Chrome man's breath catches and you hear his breathing increase.

You both sit like this for a long time, holding hands staring at your ugly wallpaper breathing heavily. It takes a long time for you to say, “I should go to sleep.”

The Chrome man tilts his head towards you, “Yes, It’s late.”

You crawl into bed and the Chrome man stands over you and tucks you in, “Get good sleep.”

You get the courage and ask, “Can you stay with me?”

The chrome man goes stiff as a board and stares at you, “Sure,” he finally replies.

He crawls into the bed next to you and curls his stomach around your back and molds into the shape of your body. You practically purr with pleasure and fall asleep faster than my dog can eat food.

THE END

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

[terra 1/23/22]

Chapter one

y/n. My name is y/n.

beep beep beep shut uuppp

beeep beep beep i slammed my fist into my alarm clock. “KYAAA” I screamed but slapped myself. I have to get ready! Today is the first day of being a night of favonious.

I got up and put on my makeup ugghhh i am so ugly but everyone wants me because i am a bad bitch oh the baddest. I ran out of the door and bumped into someone. “KYA!! GOMMENASAII!!” I started to cry. I am such a failure.

My father who is part of the mafia is right. He was right to sell me for drug money. I look up to see the most handsomest face in all of teyvat. His eyepatch was black over his right eye. And I could see the exposed eye had a star in it. I stared in awe. The man laughed,

“Daijoubu, but my my what is a beautiful person such as yourself in a rush?”

GAAAHHHH HES PERFECT I WANT TO BEAR HIS CHILDREN!!! “O-oh, I-i-i w-a-a-as just h-heading to wo-ork…” I blush and try to hide my face under my beautiful perfect blonde hair. He’s beautiful.

“Thank you!”

The man laughed. My face turned beet read.

“I-i d-d-did I-i-i j-j-j-j-j-u-ust??? GOMMENASAIIIIIII!!” He laughed again. That jerk!!

“My name is Kaeya, night of favonious.”

“I-i-i-i-i-i-i am y-y/n, yoroshiku, kaeya-senpai”

“senpai?”

“o-oh, i-i am also a knight, t-today is my first d-d-day”

A/N sorry for short chap. I got in a fight with the principal at my school. But i am here and thanks for reading this shit piece of garbage. This id thw first one i wrote. Anyways author-chan out. <333

-

Chapter two

We reach the headquarters and and say goodbye as Kaeya-senpai went on his own way. Sighhhh he is sooo dreamyyyy. And he is a captain too!!! Our kids would be perfect. Wait what?? KYAAA Y/N YOU CAN’T THINK THAT!!!! I slammed my head against the wall.

“Whoa whoa, are you okay there?”

a smoothe voice called out. I look up and see another beautiful man infront of me. His eyes were a light hue of blue and his hair was platinum blond. I felt a blush creep up on my face. I stare mezmorized by his beauty.

“H-hello?”

The man blinked.

“KYAAA!!! GOMMENASAI!!” I started crying again, heavy sobs of tears pour down my beautiful i mean ugly face. Why can’t i do anything right? This is why my mom tried to kill me. This is why my brother beat me up. I am so useless.

“Hey what’s wrong?”

The man knelt down to face me.

“N-n-n-n-nothing I’m j-just benign such a baka,”

I sniffle, “I can never amount to anything I can’t even go five seconds without thinking about my traumatic past....”

His eyes widened and gave me a hug. I start blushing madly. I was so shocked my tears left.

“My name is Albedo, if you ever need anything come find me,” And like that, Albedo-san left and butterflies arrived.

Oh no oh man what am I thinking? (A/N you’re in love y/n you baka). I couldn’t think right. No, this has to stop. I ran up the stairs of the night’s headquarters.

A/N sigghhhhh another chapter of this shitty book. Idk how you read throught this pile of garbage. Sorry i posted late, i was in a train crash and then my cat got eaten by my uncle. Don’t worry he’s in prison. Anyways, what is y/n doing??? And does albedo also like y/n????? Find out next time!! Author-chap, outttttt.

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Chapter Three

I was such a baka, on my first day too. I needed to get away and drown out my miseries. As I walk my ugly ass down the streets of Mondstadt, I see a sign that reads “Angel’s Share”. I’ve heard about this place before but I need to get drunk ASAP. I walk in, my brown orbs that are ocean blue see the warm light inside, I brush my perfect ugly blonde hair to the side.

I sit down too embarrassed to even see who I’m sitting beside. “I-I’ll h-have your strongest drink p-please uwu” I embarrassingly say, oh I am so hideous with my voice why can’t Barbatoes smite me right now?

“Woah someone has had a rough day!”

hear the most handsomest most perfect smexiest voice in all of Teyvat purr. I use my emerald orbs to look up. OH. MY. ARCHONS. ITS MY BABY DADDY. I MEAN CAPTAIN KAEYA. “KYA K-K-KAEYA-SAN!! WHY ARE YOU HOW ARE YOU WHYFVEBUIBGJIP”

He laughed like the dick that he is. UGH I HATE HIM!! “I just come by here every now and then, what’s a beautiful lady like yourself here all alone?”

“W-w-w-w-w-w-well… I-I just n-n-n-needed to have a drink. I-I-I M-messed up today a lot! I hate my life” I say, looking down in disapointment. I’m such a failure, how am I even still alive? I should just go to the Barbatoes statue and jump. So this is why my uncle set my house on fire and my cousin tripped me that one time in kindergarten. I tezr runs through my face.

Kaeya looked at me and smiled, “Don’t worry tomorrow is another day! Come see me first thing tomorrow I have a special task to give you.” He took one last sip out of his drink and left. He walked his perfectness out of the bar and left into the night.

A/N: AHH I’M BACK. I accidentally set my school on fire and got a sentence for arson but don’t worry, my uncle who ate my cat helped me escape so its all good!!! SOOOO…. What do you think? What’s this task Y/N has from Kaeya? What’s her past? Well who knows!!!

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Chapter Four

I stride down the halls of the Knights of Favonious Headquarters, trying to find Kaeya-senpai’s office. UGH! WHY IS THIS PLACE SO BIG?! I try the door on my left and bump into something and fall back.

"KYA! WHAT IN THE BARBATOES WAS THAT?” I squeal in my perfect voice. “I apologize,are you alright?”

A deep, hot voice emerges from above, holding out a gloved hand to help me up, I grab it and am faced with a hot and sexy red headed man. He wore all black like a goth and had his hair pulled back into a low ponytail. I want to touch it.

“Uh? Hello?”

“KYA GOMENASAI! I DIDN’T MEAN TO STARE”

“Oh, Y/N, there you are, are you alright after yesterday?” A cool and smexy voice appears from behind, it’s Albedo-San!

“O-oh, Albedo-san! It’s nice t-t s-s-see y-you. I’ve b-been better how are y-you?” I try to say in my state of embarrassment. He looks over my shoulder and over to the red headed man.

“So you’ve met Sir Diluc have you Y/N?” Albedo says in an almost jealous tone, why is is acting this way uwu?

“We’ve just met and I was hoping to get to know them better” Diluc says walking closer to me, what is going on here?

“Ah, Y/N! There you are, my office is right here please follow-” He sees the two men and pauses for a bit, “Please follow me” He says in a deeper voice.

A/N: AHHHH!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW TO Y/N? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I DON’T EVEN KNOW AND I WROTE THIS PILE OF DOG SHIT! Anyways, my dog ended up finding my brother’s socks under my brother’s bed and now the dog is sick. Don’t know why but you could hear a loud crunch when he chewed on them. Anyways, bye bye author-chan out for now!

Chapter Text

[Keqing 7/29/21]

Light spilled through the open door. Warm orange tones complimenting the smooth, dark leather of the luxurious couch. Childe sighed in contentment. Promptly kicking the door shut and loping straight towards his passionate lover.

Collapsing into its cool embrace, he gently, teasingly, removed his gloves. In the dark, his strong hands glided across the leather, he hummed in contentment. He could feel where the bare sliver of his abs was in contact with the warming couch. He breathed in deeply, flipping on his back and wrestling off his top. The cool air hit his shoulder blades.

He leant back, shivering when the voluptuous leather touched his shoulder blades.

Chapter Text

[tasty 6/15/21]

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Part one

I’m broke as shit. I need money and I need it fast. Sigh. This is why I’m standing outside the knights of favonius headquarters. If I can. Just convince them to give me a job. Any job. All will work out.

Taking a deep breath and Walk through the front doors. I expected more hustle and bustle but. It’s actually really really dead inside. Ah whatever.

I debate where I should go. There’s the door to the right. Which is the library and Maybe lady Lisa could help me. But I really really think. And realize if I want something to be done I have to go straight to the top. So I grow a pair and barge into master jeans office.

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Part two

“What are you doing here y/n?”

I’m flustered. Completely don’t know what to say. Why did I do this? Why would I just burst into master jeans office? Oh god, oh god she’s going to have me arrested. Or worse.

“I-I-I-“ I flush a tomato red and pull my hands behind my back and blush. Jean just stares at me. Completely awe struck

“Master jean. I-I know we aren’t on the best of terms” Jean litterally scoffs at this. “But I just. Look I’m dirt broke you have to help me out here” I litterally get down on my hands and knees and start pleading, begging her.

“Look y/n, I know this is not the best situation. But you know what you did. And you know I want to help you out but I just can’t. I’m sorry y/n but I’m going to have to ask you to leave”

Jeans eyes reflected the true remorse she felt.

I stand up and wipe my eyes and nod “no no I understand. I should go”

I quickly turn my back and run out of the knights headquarters, sobbing. I run to the nearest tree and just collapse.

It must’ve been only 2 minutes before a hear a slightly low pitched, soft voice ask

“Are you ok?”

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Part three

Without even looking up I scream “Do I look ok???”

I hear a sharp intake of breath. And immediately I want to apologize, so I peel my hands away from my eyes. And oh my. The man standing in front of me.

He could be placed in a museum and u would think he’s the best peice of art known to man. Like HOLY SHIT, he was beautiful. With his fluffy perfectly toussled hair. It was blonde and the perfect length and I think I even saw a braid. I do a quick once over and see that he’s kinda short. And then my eyes rest on his eyes. His perfectly teal, deep, meaningful eyes and I physically relax in the presence of him.

I quickly shake off the thought of him. And I apologize “I’m. I’m so soo sorry”

But the man is already reaching out a hand and helping me up.

“It’s ok. Mind telling me what’s wrong?”

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Part four

I know this man is a totally stranger. But his perfect jaw and his small curving lips and wide teal eyes and his soft hips and his short thin thighs and defined calf’s and his... I just spill

“IM BROKE AS HELL. I JUST NEED MONEY AND I CANT. DO. ANYTHING.”

The man, without saying a word. Kneels in front of me and puts his hand on my back and a million electrical currents rocket through my body I actually shiver.

Once I opened the gates I can’t stop and I keep yelling “I JUST NEED A JOB AND STUPID ME CANT EVEN GET THAT IM SO USELESS”

The man takes a step back. Looked me up and down and I shiver so hard it’s visible. Goose bumps run up my arms. And he takes me hand and says

“My name is Albedo, I’m the chief alchemist for the knights of favonius and I hereby hire you as a test subject”

Chapter Text

[Tasty 11/3/21]

Your pubecent untaimed maybe bloody pussy would curve at a degree of 30 inward upon itself and crush the utérin walls creating a somewhat warped effect

[Nya 9/5/21]

as my eyes slowly fluttered open... i could hear a voice.... a deep, soft, calming voice speaking about something. "Traveler.. Wakeup" he called out. Soon, im alert of my surroundings, wait. was that Zhonglis voice? I slowly turn my head over to look at my laptop screen,.. and there i see it. Rex lapis himself in a maid outfit dancing over my sleeping avatar body

*weeps into dilucs titties*

"I have been thinking abt writing diluc x donut"

"how would you feel about childe x a block of cheese tho..."

"i could do diluc x life jam guy" [A/N: Never played omori.] 

[Terra 7/29/21]

"ah your jelly insides feel so- ugh-- good life jam man"

[keqing 1/23/21]

"bedo that's a great idea i will terrorize all my classmates by reading them these stories"

I saw Zhongli-Senpai leave with the Ed sheeran man..! That cant be good.

“W-wait!-” I stutter out cutely but senpai didn’t hear :( But… nows my chance to get rid of all of these pests!!

Zhongli-senpai will finally be all mine..

“Y-Y/N what are you doing??”

Some weirdo to the left of me said, oh no she must’ve noticed the knife i was carrying around!

“Get a-away from us!!!”

“I cant let you get away, Zhongli-Senpai-Sama-Kun is mine!!!!! umu ." I use my secret move, eliminating everyone else around me, my clothes covered in their stinky blood.

Smiling cutely I skipped away and nobody ever caught me

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I believe I got all the fics pasted into here, hope you guys enjoyed <3