Chapter 1: Dream or reality
Chapter Text
Dream.
Reality.
You always had trouble knowing what was what.
Sometimes you felt as if life was just one big dream.
That you could just jump of the brige and wake up unharmed back in your warm and cozy bed.
Bed.
You loved your bed.
Sometimes you felt like you never wanted to leaved it.
It felt like a warm cocoon, wrapping you up in a soft and plushy world, keeping you safe from harm.
Bed would never hurt you, n̶o̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶.
It felt like home.
More than your actual home.
You hated reality.
Hated the way life was so mundane: wake up, eat, work, eat, work, go home, eat, sleep, repeat.
Hated the way people treated you: like you were a piece of garbage, dumb, like you didn't understand the way the world worked… you did understand and you hated it
Hated the way no one understood you: they thought you were weird, crazy, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb dumb.
Once, your mother took you to a doctor, told him that there was something wrong with you…
Was there something wrong with you?
You didn't think so and mr. Tie didn't think so either
Mr. Tie was your only friend, your best friend.
You knew he wasn't real, he was just a cute brown teddy bear with a little red bowtie, but he had always been there for you… when others weren't.
He listened, he didn't judge, he didn't say mean things, he didn't hurt you, kick you, spit on you, threw thing at you…
You liked red.
Red reminded you of mr. Tie, of red roses or other res flowers, of cherries or strawberries, of the sky when the sun began setting.
You loved sun set, when the world got quiet, the sky got beautiful and it was almost time to sleep, to go to your dream world where everything was better
You loved sitting in your window still, looking outside with a cup of warm chocolate milk and marshmallows, wrapped up in your favorite soft red blanket with mr. Tie next to you.
You did it almost every day, if you could.
Just like today.
Today was… hard.
Work was as always boring, doing nothing more other than scanning other people's products was tiring.
You didn't like your boss. He screamed at you for no reason, but you suspected that your colleague Hiroto had something to do with it. He hated you, pestered you, bullied you, mocked you and lied to the boss. When he made a mistake, he told him you did it.
But you could handle that… you guessed. You've had it worse.
You did come across a cat on your way home.
Cat's loved you, you loved them too.
They were soft and fluffy, reminded you of your bed or your soft red blanket. Of clouds that lazily hanged in the sky.
You whished you could hang in the sky.
Some kids in the neighborhood threw rocks at you, chasing away the cat (who you named Milk). Called you freak, weirdo, abomination.
You didn't like that they hurt Milk.
You didn't like that they hurt you.
Sometimes you wondered… how could you make them stop? Should you hurt them? No. You knew you couldn't. You couldn't even hurt a fly.
They ran away soon though, when you just stared at them, letting the rocks hit your face and body.
You were used to it.
You bought takoyaki at a little store, ignoring the stares and weird looks you got.
W̶a̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶r̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶?̶ ̶T̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶b̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶…̶ ̶d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶n̶t̶?̶
You liked food.
All foods.
You heard about people that were really picky about what they ate. You didn't understand.
You loved all food, ate all food, never wasted any food.
They probably never had to starve… unlike you.
You looked down, to the streets below you.
People ran around like little ants, unimportant and small.
You supposed that that was exactly how you were too… unimportant and small.
No one would remember you, no one would mourn you, no one would notice should you die right now.
You closed your eyes.
Trying to get rid of those thoughts.
They made you sad, you didn't like sad.
You focused on the wind, that blew through your hair, on the last rays on light that shone on your eyelids creating funny colourful blobs, on the sweet taste of chocolate that lingered on your tongue, on the feeling of the soft red blanket against your skin.
A sound.
Disrupting your calm state.
You looked down, nothing special.
You closed your eyes again.
A sound, the same one.
Like a muffled cry or scream.
You looked back down.
A figure, crawling through the alley bellow your apartment. They didn't look good.
You wondered if the dark trail they were leaving behind was blood, water or just your imagination.
You had quite a vivid imagination after all.
Maybe you should look.
See if they needed any help and maybe… you could befriend them? On tv, when they help someone they always become friends…
You got up.
Put mr. Tie on his usual spot beside your bed and put on some shoes, your soft red blanket still wrapped around your shoulders.
Maybe you could share it with your new friend?
You walked down the hall, down the stairs.
It was cold here.
You didn't like cold.
It reminded you of the look your parents gave you, of the look the teachers gave you, of the look everyone gave you… gives you.
You quickly got downstairs.
Making your way to the alley.
No sound.
You could hear nothing besides your own breathing and footsteps.
You were there, at the entrance of the alley.
It was dark and you couldn't see anything.
You didn't see the person.
Were they gone?
Should… should you go in?
No! Yes? Maybe…
It wasn't safe: there could be someone dangerous out there.
But the person! They could be waiting for help, needing help.
You blinked.
You were gonna go in.
You were gonna help that person, make a new friend and… and…
You grabbed your soft red blanket et wrapped your arm around yourself. Almost hugging yourself. W̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶?̶
Gulp.
You stepped in. One foot after the other.
You didn't see anything.
It was dark.
You whished you brought mr. Tie with you…
Tears filled your eyes.
You wanted to go back.
You wanted mr. Tie.
You wanted your friend.
You wanted your warm little apartment.
You wanted your sweet chocolate milk with marshmallows.
You wanted…
A sound.
Breathing. Softly. Barely audible.
There was someone there!
Should you…?
"H… hello?" You stuttered. "Is some…someone there?"
No answer.
People never answered you.
Always ignored you.
Like you were a ghost, air, nothing.
Or they hurt you.
You hated both.
A sob left you.
Why did you do this?
This was a dumb idea.
They were right, you are dumb dumb dumb dumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumb
A sound.
Breathing, again.
But closer this timd.
You looked, your eyes blurry because of your tears.
A person.
They were… white.
White hair, white clothes.
Like an angel.
They had spots on their white cloths, red. Tomato sauce? Berries? Blood?
You liked red.
Did they like red too?
Maybe you could share your soft red blanket.
They stood right in front of you.
Looking you in the eyes.
They had beautiful eyes.
They were… beautiful. Long white hair, fair skin, beautiful purplish eyes…
Were they a man?
You thought so, they were tall, taller than you.
"Hello." They (he?) said, voice soft, reminding you of the wind blowing through the sakura trees in spring.
"Hello." You answered, voice small and unsure.
People never talked to you before.
But they (he?) did.
You already liked them.
"Do you… like chocolate milk?" You ask, afraid that they (he?) might reject your offer.
Their (his?) eyes lit up.
You guessed that they (he?) did like chocolate milk then.
"I also have marshmallows." You added, hoping to make your offer even more attractive.
Their (his?) eyes lit up even more, like stars in a night sky.
You liked stars.
They reminded you of the night.
When you got to sleep and go to your dreamworld.
In a second, they (he?) hang on your arm.
Nobody ever touches you.
Not like this. Not…
"Yes!" They (he?) practically screamed. "Yes, please!"
Chapter 2: Rather be hurt than lonely
Notes:
Allo allo, here's chapter twooooo
Idk if anyone's really reading this or likes this lol, but oh well
Tbh I didn't really know if I wanted to upload this one, since I didn't really know if anyone liked the 1st one... But I decided to just go for it lolol
I hope you enjoy!
As always comments and kudos are always very welcome and do let me know what you thought of this chapter!
Toedles <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You had a visitor.
For the first time in… ever, actually.
They (he?) were a bit… eccentric. Like you, you supposed.
You sat across from each other, each on a pillow with the can of warm chocolate milk and the bag of marshmallows between you.
It was like a picnic, but at home.
"What's your name?" You suddenly asked. "And are you a man?"
Maybe you should have asked this in the beginning.
Was it weird to invite a total stranger to your house?
Would they (he?) get angry at you for asking that?
You instantly regretted it all.
For a second, they (he?) Just stared at you, their (his?) mouth filled to the brim with marshmallows.
You thought it was kinda adorable.
It reminded you of a hamster.
You liked hamsters.
They were cute and soft.
Surprising you, they (he?) swallowed all the marshmallows in one go.
How was that even possible? You had no idea, but you were impressed.
"People call me Cutthroat!" He quipped, with the biggest smile you had ever seen before. "And yes! I am a man!"
Cutthroat?
The name ringed a bell in your head.
You didn't know why.
It was a weird name though.
Like something you'd call a serial killer or villain.
Was he a serial killer?
You glanced at him.
Maybe?
It would explain the stains on his clothes.
Did you care?
No, not really.
He was kind! And fun! And he hadn't hurt you yet!
He was your friend. You liked him.
People were… annoying anyway. Always hurting and mocking you.
It didn't matter to you if they died.
You smiled, a bit shy but as bright as you could.
"I'm [Name]." You told him. "And I'm a girl!"
He nodded, smiling, and grabbed a cup of warm chocolate milk, putting in a bunch of marshmallows.
"You make amazing chocolate milk!" He complemented you.
No one ever complimented you.
You blushed, feeling like a red tomato. Or cherry.
You liked cherries and tomatoes. But cherries more.
They were sweet.
You loved sweet.
His face lit up, for some reason, and he reached over to touch yours.
"You're red!" He almost screeched.
"You're white!" You screeched back, not knowing what to answer or do.
He giggle, moved over to sit next to you and cupped your face in his hands.
Your brain stopped functioning.
"You're so cute~" He squeezed your cheeks. "All red! I love red! Red, red, red!"
Without asking, he wurmed his way under your soft red blanket.
Your brain was completely fried.
"I can stay here, right?" He murmered, his face burried in your neck.
"D… Don't you have a ho…home to go to?" You stuttered.
You were not used to this type of intimacy.
He wanted to stay?
With you?
Did he like you too?
Were you really friends?
Your heart went crazy.
Someone liked you enough to want to stay with you!
You felt… happy.
You hadn't been this happy in ages…
Or ever in your life actually.
Were you… dreaming?
This had to be a dream right?
You touched the scorching hot can of chocolate milk.
It hurted.
Not a dream then.
"Neh!" He hummed, "I like it here more!" He let go of your face and grabbed as many marshmallows as he could.
You just hummed.
What were you supposed to answer to that.
"I…I'll just make you a bed then?" You said after awhile.
"No no no!" He jumped up, the marshmallows he had been previously holding flying around the room. "I'll sleep with you!"
Your brain died.
You weren't gonna complain.
You hated complaining anyway.
It reminded you of the annoying costumers you got during your job. Of your stupid boss who only complained about you. Of your parents who complained about the way you acted, dressed, talked, thought.
You wondered… should you actually really trust him?
He was a stranger and probably a serial killer too.
But he was nicer to you than anyone had ever been before.
Y̶o̶u̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶f̶e̶.̶
"A… alright." You said. "Do… do you want me to wash your clothes? Blood stains are a pain to get rid of if you don't do it quickly…"
He look at you weirdly.
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
Does he think your weird for asking that?
Will he leave now?
You didn't want him to leave.
You wanted some company, someone to talk with, to drink warm chocolate milk with, to eat marshmallows with, to sit under you soft red blanket with.
Your body acted without your permission.
You grabbed his arm, tightly, as if he were a lifeline, afraid that he might walk away. Leave you behind, alone, lonely again.
You would rather have him hurt you, than leave you.
You wanted someone to talk to…
He was the first one who did…
"Don't leave me!" You cried, tears filling your eyes again. "Please, I'm sorry!"
A surprised, but odly amused, look crossed his face.
He sat back next to you and gently took your face in his hands.
They were big, warm and soft.
You liked his hands.
They reminded you of your bed.
Comfy, warm, soft…
You closed your eyes, a couple of tears ran down your cheeks, and leaned into his touch.
An unfamiliar feeling.
It was… wet? Warm?
You opened your eyes again, only to see your white haired guests licking your tears away.
What?
"Awww!" He cooed. "Don't worry! I'm not leaving! Of course you can wash my clothes~"
And that's how you ended up with a possible serial killer, half naked in your bed with his clothes in your washing machine, practically feeding him marshmallows while you were watching tv, covered by your soft red blanket.
Huh, life had a weird way of turning out sometimes.
You wondered what was under the white bandage on his left arm, that reached to his elbow, but you didn't ask.
Afraid that your curiosity would scare him off.
There was some children's cartoon on, which seemed to amuse Cutthroat immensely.
You were amused too.
You liked children's cartoons.
They were funny, kinda idiotic and not complicated.
You liked non-complicated things.
They didn't make your head hurt by thinking too much.
Not that you didn't like thinking.
You did.
But some things… weren't nice to think about.
The protagonist was just about to do his ultimate power move, probably saving the day just like in every other episode, when suddenly it was interrupted by an urgent news broadcast.
"Once again, the vicious serial killer called Cutthroat made a new victim…" The reporter said solemnly, a sad look on their face. "The victim was found by an unfortunate bypasser in the alleys of the eastern Kansai slums. The police are now questioning the surrounding inhabitants and investigating any leads. If anyone know something, please contact the authorities."
And just like that, it was done. Starting the cartoon again.
You turned towards your guest, who was completely focused on the tv.
Well, that confirmed your suspicions.
Not only did the name fit, the murder had found place basically next door.
"You're Cutthroat." You said.
He turned to you, and for a split second you feared that he would kill you for saying that.
But he smiled.
"Yes!" He quipped. "I told you so, didn't I?"
You hummed.
You supposed he did indeed tell you.
"So, you kill people?"
He nodded.
You hummed again.
"Okay." You simply said. "That explains the blood."
You turned back to the tv.
Only to realize something immediately after.
"The police." You turned to him, eyes wide. "They're coming to my house."
He carelessly grinned and nodded.
"Yup!"
Coincidentally, a knock sounded after his answer.
You jumped up.
The police were at your door.
You didn't have any feelings towards them.
They didn't hurt you (yet), but they never helped you either.
But right now, you hated them.
What if they realized the murderer was in your house and took him away?!
No!
Another knock.
More urgently this time.
You should open.
Or they would get suspicions.
Maybe they didn't need to know he was here.
You looked at him.
He was busy eating marshmallows while watching tv.
Even if they wanted to come in, he looked pretty harmless and innocent.
You walked to the door.
You didn't like the cold floor on your naked feet.
You wanted to get back in your bed, with Cutthroat.
They knocked again, impatiently.
You hated impatient people.
They never wanted to wait, always urging you on and on.
You opened the door.
There were two officers.
They were relatively tall, you supposed. You had to look up at bit to see their faces anyway.
But not taller than your white haired murder guest.
One had short, gelled back dark brown hair, was probably in his mid thirties and had dark grey eyes that looked absolutely exhausted.
The other one had spiky wild black hair, coffee brown eyes and had probably just graduated from police academy, considering the bright and hopeful look he had in his eyes.
"Hi." You mumbled, just staring them blankly in the eyes.
Normally you would try to be nice, maybe in the hopes of befriending them, o̶r̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶p̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶p̶o̶t̶e̶n̶t̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u.
But they were here looking for your new friend, even arrest them if they found him!
You couldn't let that happen.
Your cold welcome didn't seem to deter them.
The younger one flashed you a polite, but bright and sweet smile.
"Good evening ma'am! I'm officer Yakamoto and this kind sir here, "he pointed towards his companion. "Is officer Takahashi. We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, but I assume that you're aware of our reason for visiting?"
You nodded.
"The murder, right?" A stupid question.
Of course they were here for that.
"Indeed,". The older one jumped in, voice scruff and tired. "we came to enquire about any possible witnesses or clues."
You hummed.
"So," the younger one took over again. "What were you doing around 9.30 pm this evening?"
Easy question.
"I was at home, here," you answered. "drinking warm chocolate milk… with marshmallows."
The young man nodded, while the tired one wrote it down.
"And do you live here alone? Are there any other people in the house."
Oh.
That… was a good question.
Did Cutthroat live with you now? Forever?
And should you say that he was inside? They might want to interrogate him too…
"I… I ehm…" You hesitated, making the older man look up from his paper with a frown.
Oh no.
"I…"
"Angel! Are there any more marshmallows~" A familiar voice sang next to your ear as someone grabbed you by your waist and pulled you against him.
Cutthroat?!
What was he doing?
"Huh?" You dumbly said, staring up at him, who was just grinning down at you.
"Eh…" they officers seemed just as surprised as you by the sudden half naked 'intruder'.
"Good evening, sir!" Officer Yakamoto said, quickly recovering from the shock. "May I ask who you are?"
"Me?" Cutthroat said, pointing towards himself, not letting go of your waist.
You mentally crossed your fingers.
Please don't say anything suspicious.
Please.
You didn't want to lose your only friend.
"I'm her boyfriend!"
Wait what.
Notes:
Okay so anyway for all yo people out there who're craving Cutthroat smut... Good (or bad idk if y'all like my writing) news!
I'm actually writing a smut one-shot for our murderous boyyyy so ehh be prepared for that lolol
(idk when I'm going to upload it tho, or when it's finished, we'll see, just wanted to let you know :D)
TakahashiGin on Chapter 1 Sat 16 Jul 2022 11:34PM UTC
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TakahashiGin on Chapter 2 Mon 18 Jul 2022 02:03AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 18 Jul 2022 02:07AM UTC
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