Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Your name is THORND LARRSO, and you are 5 SWEEPS OLD.

You proclaim yourself an ARDENT GUNNER, with your wall of MILITARY GRADE ARMAMENT at the ready. Finding such fine equipment was no easy task, but you have managed to TRADE and BARGAIN your way into quite the collection. You are very PROUD of it, even if it is often a point of COMPLETELY RATIONAL PARANOIA, considering the SLUMS you live in.

When you aren't busy HUNTING DOWN the ABSOLUTE ASSHOLES that KILLED YOUR GOG DAMNED LUSUS, or LARPING in search for TREASURES VIABLE FOR TRADING, you enjoy READING the finest of literatures. By which you mean the almighty TROLL HENTAI. You would like to say you WATCH it as well, but unfortunately your 40 GB COLLECTION didn't survive the RAID on that FATEFUL NIGHT, and you haven't had the chance yet to get any on your NEW STOLEN GRUBTOP.

You have been a bit of a SUFFERER FOLLOWER ever since discovering a GIANT JOURNAL with most of his REVOLUTIONARY DISCOURSES recorded inside of it. They are ADMIRABLE and AWE INSPIRING, were it not TREASON TO HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION you are sure more people would TOTALLY AGREE with the GREATNESS of their PACIFISTIC PREMISE.

Your trolltag is tautologiskTanke n you usually don'T Talk ThaT much. buT when you do, There's always a good reason. noT ThaT you have any friends To chaT with. hm.

What were you doing, again?

Ah, right. You are currently scanning through hemoanonymous forums, looking for certain signs that supposedly let you spot other Sufferists. In reality, you have only come across a single supporter, and they blocked you like a pussy when you pointed it out. Sucker didn't even let you explain yourself.

It doesn't help that the hemoanonymous forums are commonly used as either a blind dating website, or some sulky edgelord convention. And of course they cross some times, it's terrible. But it's the one place where people treat others more or less equally, you never know if the douchebag you're discussing coffee brands with is actually some fancy fish-face two perigees away from conscription with access to more firepower than your entire crew combined.

You try to be stealthy in your search, avoiding all the trolling requests that don't match the profile you have made of the Sufferists. They aren't impressive in quantity, but you don't have the time to entertain every poor, lonely schmuck in this website.

It's kind of funny to think that, maybe, some of the people who don't reply to your cryptic messages are doing the exact same thing as you. It doesn't make you smile, you feel like banging your head on the hard rocks you're resting your back against.

Damn it, you get that the whole Sufferer thing is very secret for a reason, but fuck, you just want to talk about all those exciting ideas you just read. Again, for the fourth time. This is totally unfair, surely there's more people out there who know about it, why can't you find them? They're supposed to sneak funky little candy red words, or use 6 and 9 quirks when you least expect it, or subtly spread the Sufferer's message. You don't understand, are you looking hard enough?

Ugh. You need a break. Today you got scammed big-time by some stupid teal bastard. You need to think about something that isn't your piling failures, specially when that specific turn of the frase makes the air in your lungs turn into a void. Maybe you should try pranking the poor lonely schmucks in your troll requests.

You click on the most recent invite, and apparently it was from a memo. These kind of conversations can get very out of hand, very fast, no matter how many people participate, it is almost a certainty. This specific memo board seems to be small, however, maybe it is fairly recent, so you only hesitate a bit before joining it.

tautologiskTanke[TT] has joined the memo Shadow Dropper Rainbowdrinkers or Rainbowdrinker Shadow Droppers? on board In Which Various Mysterious Strangers Talk Nonsense!

GG: but the difference does matter... e_e
GG: oh. hello there
GG: welcome aboard tt
TG: Hello, I guess
TT: hi.
TT: whaT are you guys doing?
GG: discussing the differences between rainbowdrinker shadow droppers and shadow dropper rainbowdrinkers
TG: Which are, by the way, the exact same thing
GG: they aren't. don't be so basic about it. damn
TG: Hah, basic
TG: As if
TG: Maybe you should elaborate further, don't you think? I know you can't see my blood caste, but I assure you I'm not a mind reader cerulean
GG: what a convoluted way of saying you're dumb
TT: I swear To gog if you're flirTing righT now I'm leaving.
GG: its not
TG: No, Ew
GG: I'd leave too
TG: People need to stop assuming that, sheesh
TT: iT wouldn'T be The firsT Time I inTerrupT someThing like ThaT.
TT: anyways.
TT: I don'T know abouT you, buT I side wiTh rainbowdrinker shadow droppers.
GG: really

graveTremor [GT] is no longer idle!

TT: yeah? iT makes more sense. rainbowdrinkers are basically Trolls wiTh super sTrengTh n Thirst for blood. shadow droppers are already an insane force of naTure, combine ThaT wiTh even more power and you have a clear winner.
TG: Oh, I guess that makes sense
TG: Sort of?
GG: but think of the coolness factor
TT: The rainbowdrinker shadow dropper is sTill beTTer, hypothetically. alThough maybe by a really small margin.
GT: are you still going on about this? gfdi GG its the same fucking thiiiing
GT: let it diiiieeee
GG: you shut uuuupppp
TG: I've been trying to tell him, GT
GG: stop ganging up on me. there's more people now. and tt agrees with me
TT: ?
TT: on whaT? lol iT's semanTics.
GT: get rekt
GG: ... e_e
GT: get good GG
GT: GG X2 combo
TG: Ratio
GG: this is against the law 3(
GG: you will pay
GG: mark my words
GT: shaking in my boots rn (|0)
TT: are Those supposed to be your faces or am I missing conTexT?
GT: take a guess (|)
TT: asscheeks.
TG: Oh dear
GG: oh I see it now. hah
GT: (XD)
GT: you know what
GT: fair
GG: oh hey
GG: we're trolltag neighbors
GG: gg gt tt tg
TG: Even more so than before
GT: ∘˚˳°magnets∘˚˳°
GT: ✧*。miracles •°*
GT: past 69 visions
TG: Speaking of, does anyone remember that thing with the giant noodle monster a couple months ago?

You are frozen.

Record scratched, body submerged in frigid water, mind running a mile a second in a singular cyclical thought.

GT knows.

You jump from your slouch and almost drop your grubtop trying to put it on your lap. Shit. Your blood pusher is in your throat, this is almost too good to be true. What are the probabilities of finding one when you aren't looking? You open a private chat with GT.

tautologiskTanke [TT] begun trolling graveTremor [GT]

TT: hey.
GT: no fucking way
TT: whaT.
GT: yeah, what
GT: you're one of them, aren't you
TT: n you are noT?
GT: no
TT: oh.
GT:
TT:
GT:
TT: buT you know abouT iT?
GT: I guess
GT: listen man, I don't want any problems
TT: I don'T mean To cause any.
GT: then what do you want?
TT: To Talk abouT iT! I've been dying To debaTe This new poinT of view.
TT: I don'T geT why iT's been so difficulT To find oThers.
GT: are you serious??
GT: you're serious
GT: shit
GT: you're freaking me out
TT: speak clearly, for fucks sake.
GT: no, unless you actually want the drones to come knocking at both of our doors
GT: you do know even acknowledging that particular trainwreck is treason, right?
TT: yes.
GT: then you should consider upgrading the fuck out of the security on whatever you're using to type right now
GT: ASAP
GT: and if you really want to talk to me about it so badly then feel free to upgrade my equipment too
GT: not that I need it, actually
GT: you're alone in the quest to run away from the drones, good luck
GT: you still there?
GT: damn
GT: drones took you already
GT: F
TT: fuck off. I'm here.
TT: how old are you?
GT: you first, wisecrack
TT: I'm 5.
GT: oh
GT: same
GT: aw, I was looking forward to rubbing it in your face that a barely 5 s/o was smarter than you
TT: you so aren'T smarTer Than me.
GT: this chatlog begs to differ
TT: har har how smart. using his big boy words.
TT: uh. are you?
GT: I'm a big boy, don't worry
GT: you?
TT: I'm also a big boy.
GT: how charming of us
TT: >:P
GT: (|P)

So today wasn't a total scam, you guess. GT certainly has a good point, you almost can't believe you have been putting yourself in even more danger. Except you can, because you are already running away from imperial drones. You miss your Lusus. You miss your old hive, no matter how shit it was compared to what other castes can afford, it was better than an underground cave.

GT: hey
GT: I think I'm heading to 'coon now
GT: tell the others I passed out on my computer again
GT: not much of a lie tbh
TT: sure. have a good morning.
GT: u2

graveTremor [GT] is offline!

Perhaps, if you play your cards well enough, you can land a better place to stay.

tautologiskTanke [TT] is no longer idle!

GG: they're aliveeee
TG: Troll Frankenstein has returned
GG: does that mean gt is the monster
TT: whaT a warm welcome.
TT: n on The Topic of GT, he Told me he wenT To sleep.
TG: So you were chatting! Hah, I was right
TG: It's a shame we didn't bet anything
GG: bluh
GG: what were you even talking about
GG: he usually stays longer
TG: At least he'll get some sleep, I'm getting tired of his whining
TT: whaT does he whine abouT?
TG: Ah-ah, no changing the topic now
TT: I asked him abouT his age, n if he was a guy.
TT: Turns ouT we're The same.
TG: You too?
GG: same same same
TG: How funny
TG: The noodles did align for us, it seems
GG: those monster noodles don't lie
TG: Ok guys, it's been fun, but I think I should go to sleep as well
GG: one betrayal after the other. such cruelty...
TG: Some people like being able to leave their hives and not be scorched by the sun
GG: and they're losers
TG: Wow, didn't know you were a rainbowdrinker yourself
GG: I'm a shadow dropper rainbowdrinker
GG: respect my undead awesomeness
TT: no. rainbowdrinker shadow droppers are beTTer. we wenT over This already.
GG: shadow dropper rainbowdrinkers have a stronger aesthetic though
TG: They're the same fucking thing, I'm going to scream
GG: none of you get their brilliance
GG: I'm making a chart
GG: hold up
TG: Just go to sleep, for fucks sake
GG: no u 3P
GG: wait no don't go yet
GG: I'm almost done with my chart
TG: Oh, you hear that?
TG: I'm already comfortably asleep in my recuperacoon
TG: Such is life for a young troll
GG: dick

tintedGaze [TG] is offline!

TT: so.
GG: you're still here
GG: awesome
GG: at least someone else appreciates how productive the day can be
TT: I don'T Think I can quiTe second That, sorry. I geT a loT done by nighT.
GG: damn it
GG: guess only gt and I are the daywalkers
GG: even if he's not here
TT: he seemed Tired.
GG: as he should
GG: I don't think he's good at taking care of himself
GG: but what do I know. we've only know each other for a week at most
TT: yeah?
TT: why did you guys inviTe me, anyways.
GG: I don't know. I just created this board. invited a couple of people at random. mat was the only one who accepted
GG: that's tg by the way
GG: he invited gt. because trolltag neighbors I guess
GG: and then you joined
TT: lasT buT noT leasT.
GG: your typing quirk is funny
GG: mine gets boring sometimes
TT: you could always Tweak a few Things To make iT more expressive
GG: bluh. seems pointless right now
GG: if you're going to change the way you express yourself then there should be a good reason
GG: what's inside should reflect on what's outside
GG: you can't just... bluh
GG: I'm tired
TT: whaT happened To The daywalker?
GG: bluh bluh bluh
GG: the awesome shadow dropper rainbowdrinker will eat his own think pan and cease all thought
GG: I'm out of cola 3'(
TT: you actually like ThaT crap? isn'T iT slighTly poisonous?
GG: don't you dare diss my cola. it's the nectar of the gods
TT: so you indulge in soporifics. noTed.
GG: don't be gross
GG: it's really not bad at all. or at least coke isn't
GG: I've heard that certain blood castes are allergic to processed sugars. don't know how much of that is true
TT: I've never had any.
GG: coke
GG: or sugar
TT: neiTher.
GG: dude... you're missing out
TT: hardly. I prefer noT finding ouT if I'm deadly allergic To processed sugar waTer, Thank you.
GG: well if you say so
TT: GG.
GG: it's ed
TT: ed, go To sleep.
GG: tt
TT: yeah?
GG: tt
TT: I don'T have a cool nickname.
GG: tt
TT: absoluTely noThing has changed since my lasT message.
GG: tt
TT: Thornd.
GG:
TT:
GG: I'm calling you tord
TT: righT.
GG: tord. fuck off
TT: sure. Talk To you laTer.
GG: wait
GG: I didn't mean it like that
TT: bye ed

tautologiskTanke [TT] is offline!

Well. That was... eventful. You certainly look forward to the next time you talk to them, although there's plenty of information you should review from these chatlogs. Should you make a spreadsheet? Nah, a list would suffice.

You open a text editor on your grubtop, take a moment to stop yourself from sulking –No matter how much you miss them, you aren't getting your old notebooks back– and write down all the useful details about these dorks you just met.

gildedGallery [GG] (ed)
- likes zombies and rainbowdrinkers
- was making a chart
- sarcastic? blunt
- e_e 3( 3P 3'(
- coke
- made the board. lays the law of the land
- agreeable

tintedGaze [TG] (mat)
- kind of a douche
- not a cerulean
- the only one to mention any kind of social status
- ratio????
- no emojis yet
- invited GT to the board. possibly had previous connection?

graveTremor [GT] (?)
- he knows
- talks a lot
- annoying
- smart
- has a good computing device. probably well off
- (|0) (|) (XD) (|P)
- "I don't think he's good at taking care of himself" –ed

You can't think of anything else to add, nothing that isn't obvious. You are still fuzzy with excitement and you don't know if it's because you had fun talking to random people or- oh, who are you kidding. It's because you found someone willing to talk about philosophy and war and ideals and you can't wait! You need to get your shit together, you won't be able to say anything outright for now anyways.

first order of business for tomorrow, figure out how to improve cyber security. Maybe you can contract someone? No, too risky. Maybe steal another grubtop? You could possibly hunt down a delivery drone. But how to know it'll be the right target...

Well, you'll have to recur to trial and error. It could be a while before you actually get your hands on a good computer device, but in case you don't end up with the right model you could always trade around. That sounds like a plan, yes.

And in the meantime? You can forge alliances, connections have always seemed like a good way to gain influence.

Chapter Text

TT: iT's disTracTing.
TG: I don't think I noticed it while watching
GG: it's onscreen for less than a minute of the entire film
TT: yes.
TT: on every single one of his films.
TT: iT's Too precise To be mere coincidence.
TG: So you think it's all a big conspiracy

graveTremor [GT] began trolling memo Drawer on board In Which Various Mysterious Strangers Talk Nonsense!

TT: I don'T see how iT wouldn'T be.
GG: the bucket pile conspiracy
GT:
GT: I'd ask, but I really don't care
GT: guys, what happens when your lusus dies?
GT: hypothetically
GG: they go embrace the giant noodle monster
TG: Dead things usually decompose, or get eaten by something else
GG: the giant noodle monster eats them
TG: We're still not going
GG: aw
TT: If Too much Time passes n conscripTion is sTill a sweep or more away you are added To The imperial drone's cull lisT you could Technically sTill leave The planeT on ascension day, buT only The real ballsy ones make iT ThaT far.
GT: cool
GT: why aren't we going to the giant noodle monster?
TG: Not you too
GT: yes me too
GT: it sounds awesome
TT: isn'T iT acTually someone's lusus?
TG: Yes, precisely
TG: I dug around some more, it was actually supposed to be ripping off of Gl'bgolyb
GG: that has to be
GG: the crappiest
GG: knock off gl'bgolyb in existence
TG: Aye, many were offended
TG: Sort of
TG: I mean, it could actually kill the entire troll race at any moment just because it sneezed or something
TG: You oughta treat it with some respect
GT: the killer sneeze
GT: how I long for that sweet gurgling
TG: I think it's more of an ugly screech
GG: then why is it called the vast glub
TT: iT had To sTay on brand.
GT: that makes it sound like a massive underwater fart though
GT: lame
TG: I'd be the first of us to die if it ever went off
GT: you think? I live a couple of seconds away from the shore
GT: it's a steep drop
TG: Well I live in the ocean, so
GG: who would have thought the trolltag neighbors would be actual neighbors
GT: don't jump the gun just yet, we could be in completely different continents
TG: Is your hive the one with the pointy roof and funny anchors hanging from it?
GT:
TT: you guys suck aT This hemoanonymous business.
GG: I don't really take it seriously. but yeah
GG: they suck
TT: you Too. I'm preTTy sure you're eiTher Teal or olive.
GG: what
GG: how
GG: not that you're right. but what makes you think that
TT: ah, you know. you said you live in a foresT, are well off enough To purchase coke regularly while sTill complaining abouT gamegrub prices n also use a loT of green in your doodles.
TT: I'll be ready To say you're olive, buT you do use Teal To color Things.
GG: they are
GG: nice colors
GG: and vr is ridiculously overpriced
GT: ugh, what does it matter

tintedGaze [TG] is idle!

GT: I bet you're, like, some indigo tightass
GT: actually no
GT: I'm pretty sure you're dirt poor, mr never had sugar
TT: you say ThaT, yeT you don'T like coke eiTher.
GG: a cullable offense...
GG: both of you are enemies of the empire
GT: whatever
GG: tohhom
GT: ?
GG: you know what's super cool
GT: ice?
GG: soda 3D
GT: I'm not drinking coke, ed
GG: 3(
GG: there's more kinds of soda though
GG: have you tried faygo
TT: ed, are you Trying To poison him? ShiT. This is hilarious.
GG: it's just soddddaaaa
GG: stop being dramatic

tintedGaze [TG] is no longer idle!

TG: Look out the window, Tohhom :)
GT: holy sweatpants on a blender you're actually here fuck

graveTremor [GT] is offline!

tintedGaze [TG] is offline!

GG: rude

———

tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 01:39!

TT: if your lusus did acTually die I'd recommend packing your valuables n finding somewhere else To sTay.
TT: The drones will come raze down your hive in abouT a week, give or Take.
GT: fuck off
GT: my lusus is fine
GT: sometimes he goes fishing without me
GT: takes his sweet time to come back
TT: he's ouT righT now, I assume?
GT: yeah
GT: how are you so sure about the procedures anyways?
GT: speaking from personal experience?
TT: yes.
GT: ah that sucks
GT: are you, like
GT: somewhere at least mildly sun proof?
TT: underground cave. could collapse aT any momenT.
GT: how long do you think you'll last?
TT: we haven'T Talked yeT.

____________

tintedGaze [TG] began trolling memo Drawer on board In Which Various Mysterious Strangers Talk Nonsense!

TG: What's the point of being on the hemoanonymous forums if we already know one another's castes?
GG: you don't know my caste
GT: olive, next
GG: 3(
TT: I'd say you don'T know my casTe, buT you scammed iT ouT of me.
GT: that's right, rusty
TG: Ooo
TG: Are you a psychic, Tord?
TT: no.
GT: lame
GG: should we move this board somewhere else
TG: Yea! I miss writing in purple
GT: do it later, I got news
GG: 30
TG: ?
TT: spiT iT ouT Then.
graveTremor [GT] sent file someidiotonthecliff.mp4
GT: some dumbass is climbing the cliff
GG: he fell
TT: ThaT is a sTeep drop, you weren'T kidding.
TG: Are you sure he's alive?
GT: he's been doing this for about an hour
TT: whaT is he saying?
GG: I think he wants help
GT: I'm starting to feel like a prince in a tower, you know? with the giant dragon lusus, throwing obstacles in the knight's way. I was debating on whether to throw towels on his face or a bottle of water
GT: just a whole bottle, with a cap and all
TT: boTh are passive aggressive, buT I suggesT The waTer boTTle.
GG: the towel is so useless though. he'll probably try to catch it and fall. he'll only realize what it is when it's already soaked
TT: you jusT say ThaT because The waTer could be Taken as conciliaTory.
GG: what does that have to do with me
GG: also that's a low bloody bar for anything conciliatory
TG: How about food? It'll get ruined either way
GG: no
graveTremor [GT] sent file imissedbuthestillfell.mp4
TT: whaT a coward.
GT: that's more neutral, right?
GG: that's more nautical
TT: I wouldn'T say neuTral.
GT: come on, it didn't even hit him
GG: guess you couldn't resist the naughty call
TT: one mighT say The gesTure is anchored preTTy firmly in The darker quadranTs.
TG: The implications should sink in soon
GT: damn, what a downer
GG: aaaayyyy
TG: Hehehehe
GT: I really don't mean anything by this
GT: it's just for shits and giggles
TT: you could always do all The opTions.
GT: yeah
GT: hold up
TG: Why is he even climbing that? There's a convenient path off to the side if he just wants to pass by and go somewhere
TT: somehow, I doubT he's noTiced.
GG: is he a teal
GG: he looks familiar
GG: brb some dickhead is knocking
graveTremor [GT] sent file canttellifhesseriousornot.mp4
GT: so apparently I have a new neighbor
GT: and yeah, he's teal
TG: Tom, are you drinking soda? those are a lot of empty bottles.
TT: I ThoughT They made you dizzy.
GT: I lost a bet
GT: never challenge ed at drawing
GT: I swear that's all he ever does
GT: he's annoying, pulled a bait and switch. lured me into false a sense of security
TT: hm. maybe you jusT suck, ever Think of ThaT?
graveTremor [GT] sent file suckonthis.jpeg
tautologiskTanke [TT] sent file noyou.jpeg
tintedGaze [TG] sent file Disgustedangryfrown.png
graveTremor [GT] sent file nofunallowed.jpeg
TT: he has a boaT. are There islands nearby?
GT: mat's hive is the nearest
TG: There's another one a couple of miles East of mine
GT: oh right, that guy is a pain in the ass
GT: wait that's northwest, mat
TG: Oh
TT: buT ThaT's a violeT, righT? whaT's a Teal doing living ouT aT sea?
GG: back
GG: that guy is my neighbor's crew
GG: he very kindly asked to stop dunking on him
GT: I'm getting the water guns then
TT: use balloons Too.
TG: What does he even want?
GG: he's staying with your seadweller neighbor. the guy is running errands and teal got locked out of the hive
GT: lame
TT: I sTill don'T geT why he's climbing The fucking cliff.
TG: Maybe he needs somewhere to hide? it's close to dawn already
graveTremor [GT] sent file felloff.mp4
GT: a shame
TT: hahaha.
TT: whaT a fucking loser.
GG: toooommmm
GT: what
GG: I'm being the bigger person. so I ask you to
GG: pleasssssssseeeeeeee
GG: stop dunking the guy
GG: wink wink
GT: oh how could I ignore such a nice request

tintedGaze [TG] is idle!

graveTremor [GT] sent file solong,sucker.mp4
TT: beauTiful.
GT: thank you
GG: 3D
GG: ok I think that's enough for now
GG: mat is talking with the other violet dude
GG: there's spare keys somewhere underwater
GG: tom
GT: whaaaatttt
GG: tell the teal to pick up mat
GT: can I dunk him one more time? he's aaaallllmost within shouting range
TT: can you shooT him for me?
GT: how to dissuade me from violence with six words, the last two won't surprise you!
GG: mat's waiting. just get the message across
GT: aye aye captain

------

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 07:41! --

TG: Are you calm now?
GG: no
GG: this is so unfair
TG: Glub
TG: Your jealousy is showing, Ed
GG: of course it is
GG: you could go see the real giant noodle monster at any time and I'm stuck here in a desolate forest
GG: there's barely any beasts around. it's borinnnngggg
TG: Ed, we're not going anywhere near Gl'bgolyb
TG: That's suicide, we've talked about this
GG: my point stands
GG: you could go fishing
GG: or skip rocks on the water
GG: or something. no idea what you do at the beach
GG: but I bet there's lots of adventures to be had out at sea
TG: Stop sulking! You live in the forest, do you never go exploring?
GG: no
GG: it's borinnnngggg
GG: tord lives like 50 cities away
GG: and you guys are all the way out there. a whole desert and a pair of mountains away
TG: What about your neighbor? Have you spoken recently?
GG: ugh
GG: bluh bluh bluh don't even bring him up oh gog
GG: the dick won't shut up about his crew and how they already made plans to have adventures in their airship
GG: he keeps flirting pitch for some reason
TG: Oh?
GG: don't Oh? me
GG: he's an ass. and I'm not interested in asses right now
TG: Right, I get that
GG: I just want to see my pals. you know
TG: I didn't think you'd care this much
GG: well excuse me for choosing to live in the middle of nowhere as a grub
TG: You are excused!
GG: I'm blocking you
TG: hehehehe
TG: Wait!

-- gildedGallery [GG] blocked tintedGaze [TG]! --

-----------------

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling memo aaa on board Ed's super cool board ! --

TT: are you guys inTo roleplay?
GT: no
GG: I like it sometimes 3)
TG: What do you mean, roleplay?
TT: roleplay is preTending To be a characTer n Then acT ouT a sTory as ThaT characTer. iT's fun.
GT: it's lame
GG: you're lame
TT: you're lame.
GG: 3D aaaayyyy
TT: >:D ayyyyy.
TG: So you mean FLARPing? I never got involved in it, but I heard it's dangerous
GT: oh, it's dangerous alright
TT: no, Those are differenT Things.
TT: roleplay is done by wriTing or narraTing someThing, usually Through a chaT like This.
GT: flarping is actually going out in your fancy costumes and killing a bunch of people just for the lols
TG: Oh
TT: iT's noT for The lols
GT: so you flarp
GT: I shouldn't be surprised
TT: yes. n I don'T wanT To hear shiT from a blueblood.
GT: look at you, mr equality bringing up class
GT: and you say I'm the ass
TT: That's because you are.
TT: n I am sick n Tired of highbloods ruining shiT for everyone.
TT: I make a living ouT of whaTever I can scavenge on my own.
TT: I have sTolen from many jusT To survive This long.
TT: almosT goT killed more Times than I can count.
GG: SLAM ALERT
GG: stop stop stop stop stop stop
TG: Stop right there!!! You're starting to rhyme!!
TG: Take it to the PMs if you're going to have a passionate slam poetry session or something like that
GG: please spare us
GG: you guys suck at it
GT: whatever

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling memo! --

TG: Glub glub glub, whatever
GG: hehehe
GG: you still with us tord
TT: yeah.
GG: cool
GG: why did you bring up roleplay
TT: I never geT To do iT much. so I wanTed To ask you guys if you were inTeresTed in doing one of Those half scripTed ones wiTh me.
GG: sounds like fun 3D
TG: You'll have to explain a bit better, but I'm in too

---------

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 17:36! --

GT: mat
GT: mat i cant fins the frige
GT: fridge is sucha funny wod
GT: i cant find i tho
GT: how am i su
GT: how am i suposed
GT: supposed to fin

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 17:58! --

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 21:53! --

TG: Tom, what in the world??
TG: Is this about that soda you've been drinking?
TG: It's clearly not good for you
TG: And don't think I didn't notice you keep blaming that silly little bet you lost
TG: But you only do it when Ed's not around
TG: I'm onto you, buster >:(

-- tintedGaze [TG] stopped trolling graveTremor [GT] at 22:02! --

-------------

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling memo Soda, life elixir on board Ed's super cool board! --

GT: sodas great, axtually
GG: and everyone cheereeeedddd
TG: Tom I think you might be drunk out your arse
GT: my v fine arse, yes
GT: it's awsome
GG: awesommmmeeee
GG: is it coke
GT: no we
GT: ew
GG: 3C
GG: then what is it
GT: its fizz
GT: fizzy
GT: im fizzy
TT: hah. This is priceless.
TT: is This vindicaTion I'm feeling?
GT: shit up you ass
TT: I'm never coming close To a soda bottle in my life.
TG: What did you drink, Tom?
GT: hhhhhh pic
graveTremor [GT] sent file img2024.jpeg
GG: ...
GG: oh bugger
GT: wat
GT: its good
TT: Tom. I am very sure ThaT is acTually poisonous.
GT: no way its just sods
GT: ed dinks it all he time
TG: Ed >:(
GG: tom how much did you have
GT: 2
TG: Two cups?
graveTremor [GT] sent file img2025.jpeg
GT: openin 3ed
TG: ED!!!
GG: FUCK OK

-- tintedGaze [TG] is idle! --

TT: Tom, shiT. you're supposed to diluTe ThaT.
GT: its tastu tho
TT: you goT To sTop drinking ThaT, now.
GT: no fuck you
GG: TOM PLEASE DON'T DRINK ANYMORE OF THAT
GG: DRINK WATER. A SHIT TON OF WATER
GT: nnnnoooo
GG: pleasssseeee? water is good too
GG: bet your throat is all sticky from all that sweetness
GT: i can jandle
GT: it
GG: 3(((( toooommmm
GT: bluuuuhhhh ooookkk
GT: ooookkkk

-- tintedGaze [TG] is no longer idle! --

TG: ED GET YOUR BEHIND ON THE PM'S
GG: AAAA DRINK WATER TOM

-- gildedGallery [GG] is idle! --

-- tintedGaze [TG] is idle! --

GT: byyyyeeee
TT: To Think I could be missing This.
GT: missing what
TT: you spelling icup.
GT: im not spekking
GT: spelling icp though
TT: Try.
GT: no fuck of
TT: I dare you to spell icup.
GT: i
GT: icup
GT: icup
GT: i cup
GT: cup
GT: what do i do
TT: send an emoji for fuTure you.
GT: .l.
TT: awesome
GT: throdn
GT: thor
GT: tt the girl af the srore
GT: shee laugh at me
GT: luck me in the eys an laughed
TT: I would laugh Too. iT Takes you ages To even send a message.
GT: youre a bittch
TT: you're a biTTch Too, Tohhom. we live wiTh This facT every day.
GT: youre a mean
GT: youre bean
GT: mean
GT: i mean
GT: i lik a lot
TT: whaT?
TT: whaT do you mean lik?
TT: are you licking Things?
TT: oh my fucking gog.
TT: Tom?
TT: Tom don'T sTop responding
TT: Tom
TT: tohhom
GT: the leter i cant readvit
GT: they sweim lockin
GT: lretty blu sod
GT: hesd hutts
GT: threup
TT: you are. so disgusTing.
TT: you know you mighT acTually die from This, righT?
GT: sjit hp
TT: I've spenT perigees. Trying To geT To you. and you're jusT going To drop dead.
GT: no smbnot
TT: and why? because you don'T know how To Take care of yourself?
TT: you're Terrible.
GT: u hste yiu
GT: yubsu k
TT: whaT was ThaT? I can'T read paTheTic biTTch.
GT: I HAT

-- gildedGallery [GG] is no longer idle! --

GT: I HATE YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
GG: TOM????
TT: and apparenTly you lick, don'T see why you're poinTing fingers honesTly.
GG: TORD!!!!
TT: whaT?
GG: CUT IT OUT. HE'S CLEARLY OUT OF IT
TT: sure.
TT: you can handle iT from here I hope?
GT: assho
GG: I got it. get the fuck out
GT: asshol

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] ceased trolling memo! --

GT: e
GG: tom are you ok?
GG: tom
GT: thrwebup
GG: threw up? was it bad?
GT: s lot it hut
GG: it'll be alright. that's a good thing actually
GG: you drinking water?
graveTremor [GT] sent file img2026.jpeg
GG: good. that's great
GG: you're doing great, yeah?
GT: (|D(
GG: listen. mat is on his way alright? he needs to pick some things up and he'll be there
GT: wh
GT: what way
GG: he'll make sure you're ok. he's going to your hive to check on you
GT: yo cheeking on m erady
GG: I am
GG: I'm here alright? I can't be there in person. but you're not alone alright?
GT: whu cant yoi
GT: get heer
GT: eeeedddd
GG: im sorry tom
GG: I'll figure it out alright?
GG: I'll be there
GT: yo btter m wautin
GG: 3)
GG: are you still sipping your water?
GG: tom
GG: toooommmm
GG: don't stop responding please
GG: I can't know if you're alright
GG: tom???
GT: He's fine!!!
GT: I think he threw up all of it
GT: I really, really wish you were here
GT: There's vomit everywhere, it's really gross
GG: I'm going to punch you

Chapter Text

Your name is EDWRAD GHUOLK and you are 5 AND TWO THIRDS SWEEPS OLD.

Right now you are sitting down on your beanbag, drawing tablet on your lap, handheld device in your handhold, sharp teeth worrying your lip. Your mind is a little preoccupied, and you got better things to do, but let's get introductions out of the way.

You are a BUDDING ARTIST, you pretty much DRAW ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. You would say it's to get better and to be able to MAKE A PROFESSION out of it after ASCENSION, but honestly you're just bored. Whenever you aren't drawing you like to PLAY VIDEOGAMES on your game grubs, WATCH MOVIES AND SERIES and TALK TO YOUR BUDDIES on Trollian.

And Tom still hasn't responded. He said he was done catching up on sleep, but doesn't remember even having his phone on him when he started drinking... and you aren't done with your introduction yet! Bluh!!

You live IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST, your nearest NEIGHBOR is a little less than a kilometer away and he makes himself a PAIN whenever you encounter one another. He always acts like he is better than you, like how he has a crew and they're planning on moving in together. You are past denying how envious you are. He didn't have to be a dick about it! You two are pretty deep in the forest and don't come into contact with anything but delivery drones, the least he could do is not spite the only other person in a meet-able radius.

You check your handheld again, the screen had fallen asleep. Still no messages. What is even taking so long? Going through the chatlogs can't be so time consuming. Gee, it's like the plot is waiting for you to finish your introduction.

You groan, fine.

Your trolltag is gildedGallery and you tend to come off very deadpan. even if it's not really intentional. you consider yourself a bit of a prankster but it's not like you can prank thin air now could you. you wish tom wou

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 08:56! --

GT: ok, back
GG: tom. jeez what took you so long
GT: my eyes, mostly
GT: remember that killer headache I told you about? still alive and well
GT: but I was talking with mat
GT: he took all processed sugars I had into the land of the sea
GT: the sealand
GT: I had candy for some reason, don't remember getting that
GT: mat was all pompous about it too, like it was a raid on an evil lair
GT: he said it was in your behalf though?
GG: it very much was
GT: I didn't know you guys were so coordinated
GG: well we do have to plan our parts to roleplay with tord. mat's weirdly good at roleplay for some reason even if he doesn't know what he's doing
GT: ah, right
GG: well
GG: aren't you going to say something
GT: about what?
gildedGallery [GG] sent file rukiddingmern.png
graveTremor [GT] sent file eyeroll.gif
GG: why did you keep drinking if you knew it was poisonous for you
GT: cutting straight to the chase, I see
GG: tom you almost killed yourself like an idiot
GT: so?
GG: so. stop being dodgy about it
GG: answer the question
GT: I don't know how
GG: try, at least?
GT: ugggghhhh
GT: I don't think
GT: well
GT: ok
GT: sometimes I get lost in thought
GT: and it's like I know with all certainty, how futile everything is
GT: like we're all doomed to go through something terrible, and I think I know what it's going to be
GT: I don't want to know what it is, I try to ignore it
GT: ever since our little bet I discovered, huh, sweets make me not think about death and misfortune, I should do more of that
GT: and I did
GT: I've been doing it a lot, recently
GT: my lusus hasn't come back for some time now
GT: I think I might have to move in with mat soon, he has a couple of above water rooms
GT: if he'll even let me, that is
GT: you can only ask so much from the guy who cleaned your guts off the floor before he chucks you out a window
GG: we can talk to him together. if you want
GT: I don't know
GT: this is the longest I've been alone at home
GT: he usually comes back eventually, I could be worrying over nothing
GG: tom
GG: I get that you just want to throw yourself into whatever gets your mind out of shitty thoughts
GG: but poisoning yourself isn't a solution
GG: we can find you a better way to deal. I'll help you if you need
GG: I don't know. moral support
GT: don't
GT: I don't want your pity, ed
GG: it's!!!! not pity!!!!
GG: it's s o l i d a r i t y
GT: mhm
GT: thanks, but whatever name you want to use for it doesn't change shit
GT: i don't want your help
GG: why
GT: what do you mean why?
GG: why don't you want help
GG: forget that it's coming from me
GT: it doesn't have anything to do with you, i just don't see the point
GG: I'll need you to specify
GT: ed, drop it
GT: i'm done talking about this
GG: tom. I'm not letting you do this to yourself
GG: spit it out
GT: i don't feel like talking right now
GG: then let's talk later
GG: go take a nap
GT: i just woke up from a 16 hour nap
GG: I don't see the problem with this succession of events, I do it all the time
GT: not all of us can be cat adjacent, dude
GT: what if i can't fall asleep?
GG: you like music a lot don't you
GG: write a song or something
GT: you're serious about this
GG: yeah
GG: now get offline and write me a song about water balloons
GT: dork
GG: no u. I'm not the one whose going to write it
GT: right, you're the one whose going to draw it
GG: hell yes I am
GT: you're so lame
GT: ttyl i guess
GG: bye

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 09:48! --

Well, that could have gone a lot worse, you think. Still, you don't know what to think about it. You are glad Tom was trying to be candid, at least, no matter how little of his whole deal you actually understand. He knows something? but he doesn't? What? You reread the chatlog in hopes of piecing the information together into something that makes sense.

You can understand why he'd be worried about his lusus dying, he could be culled for it, and honestly you don't know what you would do without Ringo. Good kitty, best lusus. Tom would have to move in with Mat if his hive gets razed. He'd be in the cull list, maybe that could also land Mat in hot water.

You take a deep breath and sink deeper into your beanbag. That pun was... not good. You snicker anyway.

You wish you could be a tangible presence in their lives, maybe then Tom would listen to you. Maybe then you could stop using Mat as some sort of errand boy, he's starting to get seriously irritated, you should really do something for him soon, before he gets ideas for things you'll have to do to repay him. Maybe...

You... just realized you don't know Tord's living situation. He's a rust, he likes guns and those explicit Eastern Alternian cartoons, he is fun to roleplay with, and he lives at least 700 miles somewhere north. That's pretty much all the details you know about him.

You should talk to him too, last time you sort of snapped at him, you feel a bit silly in hindsight. You look through your very lengthy contactroll, a whole 5 people, and find tautologiskTanke. He doesn't seem to be online at the moment, but you'll leave a message anyways.

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 10:05! --

GG: hey man
GG: how you holding up
GG: sorry I snapped at you yesterday
GG: someone was kinda dying

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] is idle! --

You are still conflicted about that yourself. In a way, you do think Tom was right. He almost died, so what? You would have been alright, a little more alone, but alright. The others would be alright as well. But perhaps the fact that you care about how the others would be affected too says it all. You don't get it.

GG: I'm kinda mad at tom too
GG: what he did was really stupid
GG: I don't get him
GG: he's stupid

You also feel stupid, tons of people die every day. You wouldn't give a single shit if your neighbor died, you've even though about flarping, and that's famously a slippery slope down the gratuitous murder pipeline. You don't care much about death, usually. But it bugs you now somehow.

GG: I wanted to ask
GG: are you alright
GG: you don't have to be specific or anything. I just don't want any bad blood between us
GG: also I kinda realized I don't know a lot about your life

Bluh, you hope you don't sound like some clingy asshole. Maybe you're just tired of being alone all the time. You were being sincere with Tom yesterday, and earlier too.

You told Tom you would figure it out. You meant it then, and you mean it now. You'll find a way to get all of your friends in one place.

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] is no longer idle! --

TT: I'm fine.
TT: n iT's whaTever, I'm cool if you're cool.
GG: tord
GG: we're alright then 3)
TT: yes, we are.
TT: any news from The undead?
GG: he's good, sort of
TT: unforTunaTely.
GG: he spent the entire night sleeping
GG: he says his head still hurts, but he's unnervingly not cranky for some reason
GG: we looked it up and as long as he drinks a lot of water he should be fine in a couple of days
TT: were you grilling him for being a dumbass?
GG: pretty much 3P
TT: good.
TT: Tell him I wish him a very fuck you recovery.
TT: I would Tell him myself had he unblocked me before his imprompTu coma.
GG: will do
GG: were you two squabbling again or did he literally just block you before dying
TT: nah, he couldn'T handle my superior rapping Techniques from earlier ThaT day.
GG: ... e_e
gildedGallery [GG] sent file pressxtodoubt.png
TT: buT enough abouT him. did you wanT To ask me someThing?
GG: yeah. you don't talk much about yourself
GG: I told you about ringo, right
GG: what's your lusus like
TT: yeah. abouT ThaT.
TT: I'm on The cull lisT, I losT boTh my lusus n my hive.
TT: iT's almosT been a sweep already, so I'm doing good.
TT: I've goT a good base. moved ouT of an underground cave recenTly. I'm glad I did, I passed by iT a couple of days ago n iT seems To have collapsed.
TT: ed? you sTill There?

You have been too busy facepalming to reply. What were you expecting? This is stupid, you really need to get your shit together. As soon as you're done talking to Tord you'll convince Mat into letting you three stay with him. You perform a facepalm x2 combo just to get it out of your system.

GG: yeah I'm here
GG: just thinking
TT: you beTTer noT be Thinking I'm some sorry hobo or whaTever.
TT: I don'T need your piTy.
GG: no!!!!
GG: I wasn't thinking that
GG: and it's solidarity damnit!!!!
GG: what is with people assuming that????
TT: lmao oTher people Think you piTy Them?
TT: *gasp* so I'm noT the only one you're courTing? I Take greaT offense in ThaT, mr ghuolk. I was going To rejecT you anyway, buT how could you!! *big faT anime Tears fall from my eyes dramaTically*
GG: ugggghhhh
GG: *bangs head on the table*
GG: *vomits on the floor*
GG: *throws self out of window*
TT: whaT were you Thinking abouT?
GG: tom told me he was worried about his lusus not returning this time, apparently he's been gone for a good while now
GG: he'd be joining you in the cull list
GG: so maybe we could all room with mat
TT: whaT abouT ringo? don'T Tell me she's...
GG: she's fine
GG: I just thought
GG: 4/4 right
TT: righT.
GG: bluh. thanks for the enthusiasm
TT: my pleasure. buT in all seriousness, I don'T see The poinT. why move in wiTh maT?
GG: what
GG: we'd be in the same place for once
GG: we could go on adventures together. the four of us
TT: suuure.
GG: torrrrdddd come on
GG: don't be a party pooper
GG: we could help you on your flarp campaigns
TT: wow, you're desperaTe if you're recurring To ThaT.
GG: hey. fuck you
GG: I never said I had problems with flarping. I don't know what tom's deal is either
TT: why would you even wanT To move all The way over There if you aren'T even The one in danger?
GG:
GG: do I need a reason
TT: preferably.
GG: it sounds like fun
TT: iT mosT cerTainly won'T be.
GG: *sigggghhhh* I don't know why I thought convincing you guys would be easy
TT: leT me guess, Tom Thinks iT's lame Too so you wanT To geT me in your corner firsT, ThaT way we can bully him inTo joining.
TT: because I am 100% in for The bullying parT.
GG:
GG:
GG: I mean
GG: did you just convince yourself
TT: I wasn'T opposed in The firsT place.
TT: I just Think iT's sTupid, n I do plenTy of sTupid Things nighTly.
GG: so you'll go live with us
TT: yeah, whaTever.
TT: we're bashing Tom inTo joining righT?
GG: honestly I don't think it'd be necessary
TT: aw >:(
GG: it was sort of his idea in the first place. in case his hive does get razed
TT: eh. I'll sTill punch him in The guT when I see him.
GG: you guys are so dumb
GG: but hurray me for getting you to agree
TT: whaT does maT Think abouT a bunch of landdwellers invading his hive?
GG:
TT: ? was iT bad?
GG:
GG: brb I'm gonna ask mat
TT: The dumbass award will be hoTTly conTesTed This season

You reeeeaaaally hope Mat is in a good mood right now. sometimes he's the biggest pain in the ass, other times he's really mild and funny, you don't know what stick is stuck up his ass, but you kinda doubt it'll be the happy one. Most days he goes to sleep at a reasonable time ('most' being used loosely). His status is offline, but he sometimes changes it to that so he can lurk around. Or if he's avoiding someone.

gildedGallery [GG] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 10:44! --

GG: hey mat
GG: you there
TG: No
GG: ah. my bad
TG: This is an automatic message, Mat is not here right now
TG: Leave a message after the beep
GG: wow
TG: Hey! I haven't beeped yet!
GG: I didn't know you had an auto responder
TG: It's new, actually
GG: really e_e
TG: Indubitably
TG: Why would I lie about this?
GG: I didn't know auto responders could carry entire conversations
TG: Ed, I'm rich
TG: Believe in my bloody monetary privilege
GG: ugh righhhhtttt
TG: Glub! What do you even want?
TG: What? Need me to change your sopor slime for you?
GG: I said I was sorrrryyyy
GG: I won't do it anymore. promise
TG: >:( blub blub blub
GG: I'm serious
GG: I'll stop asking you favors
GG: you know why
TG: Why?
GG: because tord tom and I are moving in with you 3D
TG: SO YOU'RE LYING
TG: I'm blocking you
GG: no no hear me out
TG: ED, SAY PSYCHE RIGHT NOW
GG: HEAR ME OUUUUTTTT
TG: YOU'RE SERIOUS OH GOG
GG: IT'LL BE FUN
TG: NO IT WON'T
TG: WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU THINK THAT
TG: I'M NOT YOUR PERSONAL SERVANT
TG: I'M NOT KSKDLFLFLEOIRROXBJWIWY
GG: maaaatttt don't bang on your keyboard
TG: ON'T TELL ME WAT TO O
GG: mmmmaaaatttt
TG: WAT THE ELL!!! O YOU WANT!!!
GG: you should take a breather
TG: I ON'T NEE A FUCING BREATER!!!!!!
TG: SOEMQBX
TG: ASCOVMR ESXRIPSVPTEJ
GG: try counting maybe

-- tintedGaze [TG] blocked gildedGallery [GG] ! --

Hm. That could have gone better. He'll come around eventually, you know he doesn't mean to explode like that. You sort of talked about his mood swings once, and from what you recall he doesn't know why he gets so mad sometimes either. You've read online that violet bloods are really violent and territorial, but you don't believe much in all the hemocaste business to begin with. Some people spread fake rumors about it on purpose, just because.

Minutes tick by and you haven't been unblocked, so you switch back to your conversation with Tord.

GG: it was bad
TT: damn.
TT: whaT happened?
GG: you know how he gets when he's mad
TT: yeah?
GG: he started keysmashing
TT: lmao.
GG: don't laugh your ass off dude he hates getting mad too
TT: oh, no. I'm laughing aT you, your plan is falling aparT fasTer Than a foresT fire.
GG: 3(
TT: >:)
TT: whaT did maT say Though?
GG: I told him I wasn't going to ask more favors because we were moving in with him
GG: he said I was lying
GG: then flew off the handle about not being my servant or whatever
TT: you guys have been pesTering him a loT.
GG: I know 3(
GG: but reuniting like that will be the opposite of that
TT: Then how abouT we jusT seTTle nearby insTead of in his hive? ThaT's whaT I was planning To do anyway.
GG: I guess that's cool too
TT: buT noT awesome?
GG: no. it is awesome
GG: just feeling like a jackass for upsetting mat so bad
GG: he already seemed cheesed off when we started talking
TT: don'T sweaT iT Too much.

You're about to rebuke with some sort of joke, but a notification on Mat's chat gets your attention first.

-- tintedGaze [TG] unblocked gildedGallery [GG] ! --

TG: Breater? Taen
TG: Numbers? Counte
TG: Apologies? In orer
TG: absolute state of affairs? Still not fine and I on't feel lie oing te apologizing part
TG: my eyboar is broen :(
GG: hey man. no need
GG: sorry for startling you. I didn't know you'd take it badly
GG: you ok
TG: No
TG: I on't lie getting angry
GG: yeah
GG: I got you
TG: o you, toug?
TG: gog tis eyboar sucs
GG: well I can't get you if you don't let me
GG: all I'm trying to say is that I won't hold it against you
GG: do you really think it's that bad of an idea
TG: No
TG: Yes
TG: Yes, I o
TG: omfg let me switc to my pone
GG: lol
TG: Ok, listen
TG: I don't think we should live together
TG: I've never had to do anything like that before
TG: Isn't it kind of a grown up thing? Living in close quarters with other people? Depending on them?
TG: I don't think we could do that
GG: why not
GG: you can rely on me
GG: and on tom and tord
GG: I thought you liked visiting tom
TG: Yes, visiting
TG: living together is a big responsibility, Ed
TG: I barely know what to do with myself most of the time
TG: I can't take care of others
GG: that's fine mat
TG: I have thought about it, you know? Going on adventures together and exploring
TG: It would be fun
TG: I'm just not sure about anything else
TG: Where would you even sleep?? I don't have extra coons!!
GG: on the ground of course
TG: You guys would be miserable without sopor slime!! I'm not dealing with any daymare induced panic attacks
GG: I know I'm just picking fun
GG: you did think this through
TG: Of course I did
GG: thanks for looking out for us then
TG: I'm not sure that's what I'm doing
TG: But you are welcome
TG: And you owe me!!
GG: bluuuuhhhh
GG: yeah
TG: Guess what we're doing tomorrow
GG: uuuuhhhh
GG:
GG: clothes
TG: Clothes!!
GG: x_x
TG: Don't you x_x me, buster
TG: You need the practice anyways
TG: Your last portrait didn't capture my beauty at all!
GG: ooookkkk
GG: it's a good challenge at least
TG: The handsomest challenge
GG: no
TG: Heresy
TG: Either way, you're not getting out of it
GG: 3P
TG: Good day, Ed
TG: And go sleep soon
GG: good day mat
GG: I probably won't
TG: Figures

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 12:12! --

Man, you're going to have to prepare yourself for Mat spamming photos tomorrow, he can never decide which is his best angle. You consider organizing the folder where you keep all his selfies, but notice the notifications on Tord's chat before you can consider anything besides erasing the near duplicates of each photo.

TT: we are fine, aren'T we? Tom n I?
TT: hell, Tom isn'T even in any danger yeT, There's no rush.
TT: we'll meeT up aT some poinT, I can assure you ThaT much.
TT: I goT plans of my own.
TT: are you sTill There?
TT: good day, ed.
TT: I'm sure maT will be alrighT.

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 11:39! --

Tord is offline now, but you should let him know you patched things up with Mat. Maybe first thing tomorrow? Nah, you don't think you'll wake up at a reasonable time, and ending the chat on such a weird tone feels wrong somehow. You'll be quick about it.

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 12:15! --

GG: hey
GG: mat unblocked me. we're good now
GG: he's not on board with living together but that's alright. I kinda jumped the gun not gonna lie
GG: he brought up important details I didn't even consider.
GG: I haven't given up but I'm considering them now for sure
GG: for example
GG: where are you sleeping tord wtf did you haul your recuperacoon all the way from your hive to your base or what
GG: do you apply sopor in small doses at least
GG: I probably shouldn't risk sending you anymore messages if you really are sleeping without it
GG: good day tord

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 12:23! --

There, you didn't even ramble. You just keep winning today. Tonight has been a bit stressful, somehow. Between waiting on Tom to wake up, then for him to answer you, making up with Tord and Mat... they can be a handful actually.

You don't mind at all, not really. Tomorrow you guys will probably pick silly fights and make fun of each other, but all of you will be there. Not on person yet, but it's good enough for now.

You think back on what Tom said, about doom, about something bad hovering over your shoulders. You can only hope you won't face whatever that is alone.

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 12:28! --

GT: HE CAME BACK ED
GT: MY WATER BALLOON SONATA LED HIM HOME
GT: I'M A FUCKING MORON LMFAO
GG: YOU'RE A DUMBASS
GT: I AM AHAHAHAHA

Chapter Text

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 4:03! --

GT: wait, are you still blocked?

-- graveTremor [GT] unblocked tautologiskTanke [TT] ! --

TT: wow, look who's back from The dead.
TT: I ThoughT for a second you would deleTe my conTacT n everyThing.
GT: save it, asswipe
TT: no, I don'T Think I will.
TT: iT's been days.
GT: and that affects you how?
TT: I know you read The chaTlog, don'T play sTupid.
TT: you are, don'T geT me wrong, buT I'd like To believe you're beTTer Than ThaT.
GT: are you still on about that?
GT: why does it matter? it's just some guy cussing society
TT: iT's
TT: you haven'T read The journals.
TT: Tohhom, I mighT have The soluTion, I can'T jusT siT on my hands waiTing for Things To magically geT beTTer unTil The day I die.
TT: everyThing is so shiT all The Time for so many people.
TT: n noT jusT for lowbloods.
TT: I don'T wanT To live in a world filled wiTh senseless cruelTy.
GT: are you hearing yourself right now?
GT: we can't do shit about it, tord
GT: i don't know what kind of feverdreams you've made up in your head, but you are nothing
GT: nothing but a single, tiny krill about to get swallowed by the biggest, most power hungry bitch of a whale in the universe
GT: the best possible outcome would be getting the fuck out of the way, and even if we could somehow scape conscription we would only be delaying our deaths
GT: we mean nothing to the empire if we can't follow orders
GT: we are nothing
TT: This is EXACTLY why we NEED To do someThing.
TT: we don'T deserve To live like ThaT, nobody deserves To live like ThaT.
TT: none of ThaT bullshiT has To be True.
GT: so the gogdamned alternian fleet isn't real? the fucking drones hunting you down aren't real? wow tord, thanks for opening my eyes there
TT: you know whaT I fucking meanT, don'T hide behind semanTics.
GT: sure, but that won't make the danger disappear in a puff of fairy dust
GT: we can't do anything against them, we're useless
TT: Tohhom. I don'T give a fuck if I'm noT useful To Them, I'm fucking glad I'm noT, buT I am useful To myself n To everyThing I care abouT.
TT: n if ThaT includes blind idioTs like you, who are so far inTo her imperial panTies They've given up on life, Then so be iT.
GT: don't you fucking talk down to me, i don't need to be saved, least of all by someone like you
TT: someone like me? whaT is ThaT? someone wiTh drive? wiTh purpose? someone who doesn'T Take bullshiT from anyone, doesn'T leT disgrace keep him down?
TT: someone beTTer Than you?
GT: better? you threw a hissy fit over me almost killing myself, but here you are, asking to get thorn to pieces by the drones
GT: don't pretend you have some higher purpose when you're just being as foolish as i am
GT: you'll get nowhere, you will die
GT: do me a favor and shove your heroic fantasies up your ass
TT: nah, I Think I'll leave ThaT job To you, for whenever you sTep ouT of your own filTh n decide To do someThing wiTh your life.
TT: I've goT beTTer Things To do.
GT: i hope you get yourself killed
GT: nobody will remember you, nor your puny rebelliousness
TT: you will.

-- graveTremor [GT] blocked tautologiskTanke [TT] ! --

-- graveTremor [GT] unblocked tautologiskTanke [TT] ! --

GT: no i fucking won't

-- graveTremor [GT] blocked tautologiskTanke [TT] ! --

TT: lol

—————

TT: *The boTh of you make your way Through The casTle-like base, soldiers sTand aT every corner. none of Them sTop you, buT by The Tension in The room you can Tell They're waiTing for The slighTesT sign of hosTiliTy To puT a bulleT Through your foreheads.*
TG: Geez, these people need to loosen up
GG: no kidding. let's just keep walking. that captain rosiecheeks guy is waiting
TT: *finally, you geT To a Tall room. ThaT's when you see him.*
TT: *he is no older Than eiTher of you, buT he carries himself wiTh a dangerous kind of cerTainTy, This is The Troll who foughT drones n won, The one who rallied Thousands of soldiers wiTh his words alone, The one who would finally puT an end To her imperial reign, The red leader himself.*
TT: I see you've accepTed my offer.
GG: hi baconbits 3)
TG: Not yet! We are still thinking it through
TG: It's not like we can decide the fate of troll kind just on a whim
GG: well. we could. but we still want to hear you out
TT: whaT else is There To discuss? you're eiTher wiTh me or againsT me.
TG: We got that just fine the first 3 times, thank you
GG: our point is
GG: if you overthrow her
GG: what then
TG: What will you do?
GG: surely you planned ahead
TT: of course I have.
GG: it'd be really funny if you had no idea what to do if you won
TG: It would be annoying too
TG: Just tell us your motivation
TT: *wiTh a sigh, The red leader gesTures as he speaks*
TT: moTivaTion? I ThoughT you'd have caTched up already. I don'T exacTly hide my disTasTe wiTh The currenT sTaTe of affairs.
TT: I've been deeply wronged by This world. she has wronged us all, wouldn'T you agree? wiTh all her senseless rules n peTTy demands To her people.
TG: Dude this is the fourth monologue today
TG: Please just spit it out
TT: I'll spoonfeed iT To you Then.
TT: all I wanT is no more hemocasTe bullshiTTery, no more cullings. under my reign we'll reinvenT socieTy n make iT equal for everyone.
GG: ok
TG: And?
TT: n whaT?
TG: What do you mean what?
TG: you've been chasing us non-stop for some reason
TT: you decided you wanTed to sTop me. I've goT irons in The fire, I can'T leT Two nobodies mess everyThing up.
GG: but that's because you're supposed to be a wannabe evil overlord hungry for power and destruction
TT: I AM hungry for power n desTrucTion. of her royal pain in The ass.
GG: but are you hungry for the power to destroy all cola on alternia
GG: I care about the real issues ruby
TT: whaT.
GG: are you going to change your mind once we give you the ultimate weapon
TT: abouT whaT?
TG: About killing us or everyone or exploding the world
TT: why The fuck would I explode The world when I'm Trying To make iT less of a fucking hellscape?
TG: Red Leader, you did not get us to come all the way to your evil lair just to spew some 'heehee I'm doing this for all my friends and the world' little speech
TT: aren'T you supposed To be on The condesce's side??
GG: eh
TG: *shrug*
GG: I bet she's the one raising the vr prices
TG: Tom told me the other day about a conspiracy theory where supposedly she had some part in allowing some guy thing to basically shape Alternia into an aggressive society
GG: wouldn't put it past her tbh
TT: he whaT.
TG: Yes, he got all mopey and everything
GG: like when he says he has a bad feeling
TG: Yeah, but the kind of bad feeling where he spaces out for like an hour before just suddenly telling you to do your laundry
GG: ah
GG: he told me to check ringo's back a while ago
GG: I did it as a joke but she was actually bleeding
TT: whaT The fuck are you guys Talking abouT.
TG: Right! Are you evil or not??
TT: ????
TT: whaT do you even wanT me To say? Think for yourselves lol.
GG: oh man
GG: did we really waste the last three sessions finding the ultimate weapon for nothing
TG: I'm confused, was this actually scripted or did you just come up with it right now?
TT: iT was scripTed. I acTually planned This since The beginning.
TT: biT of a curve ball, wasn'T iT? even for me.
TG: How come?
TT: I ThoughT you'd disagree wiTh each oTher.
GG: you just wanted the drama
TG: I could do drama :D
TG: What should we disagree on, Ed?
TT: Too laTe.
TT: friendship wins, apparenTly.
TG: This feels like the plot of one of your animes, Tord
TT: iT was always The ploT of an anime, don'T fool yourself.
GG: so what now
GG: do we just give up
GG: that just feels like a cheap ending
TT: you guys should Team up wiTh me. >:D
TT: we'll fighT The condescension nexT.
TT: waiT, I'll do iT properly. from where we lefT off.
TT: *The Red Leader Takes a few sTeps Towards The heroes.*
TT: I hear your concerns, buT can assure you of my sinceriTy. I have no ill inTenTions againsT Troll kind.
TT: I know I can'T ask you To Take my word for iT, so how abouT we join forces? you'll sTill have access To The ulTimaTe weapon n can decide for yourselves if you agree wiTh my acTions.
GG: nice
TG: I'd accept those terms! But I will keep an eye on you *I point two fingers to my eyes and then point to you*
GG: we have a deal baconbits
TT: seriously? noT even because we're Teaming up?
GG: I can upgrade you to captain rudycheeks if you want
TT: is ThaT really an upgrade To you?
GG: ruby
GG: rubyeyes
GG: rubyebye
GG: cherryspice pumpkin latte
TT: ed, I am made ouT of unspeakable violence.
TG: I am begging you to please move on
TT: *pleased To have a new alliance, The red leader offers a hand To The olive blood*
GG: *supered takes his hand confidently and shakes it*
TG: AND THAT'S A WRAP! PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S A WRAP
TT: yes, friendship wins.
GG: maybe the real ultimate weapon was the friends we made along the way
TG: Thank gog this didn't devolve like last session
TT: ThaT was liTerally mosTly your faulT.
TG: I know! But this time I actually have somewhere to be ~<3
GG: I hate knowing where you're going e_e
TG: Ed it has to exist
TG: I physically need it to exist
TT: is This abouT The sculpTure?
GG: take a guess
TG: :)!!!
TG: I'll talk to you guys later!
GG: bye
TT: see you.

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling memo The confronTaTion on board The Tales of neiTher of your names go firsT anymore This is abouT me now! --

GG: so next time we kick the imperial butt then
TT: ThaT's The plan.
TT: I Think I can sTill use some of whaT I had wriTTen, jusT change The environmenT a biT n sTuff.
GG: I still find it funny that you made up all this evil set up with the sirens and the troops and all those people warning us
GG: but when we finally meet you you're just
GG: so I think people should stop dying for dumb reasons
GG: that is so silly
TT: There was so much foreshadowing, don'T Tell me you didn'T see iT coming.
GG: yeah but
GG: if the character weren't you then I'd actually call out that bluff
TT: whaT do you mean by ThaT?
GG: if it where anyone else I'd think they're lying but you meant it
GG: you're always either proudly announcing what you've accomplished or keeping your mouth shut about what you're doing. no in-between
GG: that was the kind of boasting I'd expect from you
GG: and you were happy we didn't think you were on the wrong 3)
TT: well.
TT: ok. poinT Taken.
GG: you know I was expecting world destruction or the extinction of troll kind
GG: hell even an undead apocalypse would've been on brand
GG: that would've been awesome
GG: next story needs to have an apocalypse
GG: don't care what kind
TT: lusus apocalypse.
GG: maaaan we'd be fucked
TT: mad scienTisT Turns lusii againsT Their charges, iT's a compleTe massacre.
TT: acTually, I'd be safe. someTimes being orphaned has benefiTs.
GG: noooo
GG: ringo 3(
GG: she can't become one of them tord
GG: she's too precious
TT: sucks To suck. >:P
TT: now ThaT I Think abouT iT, has maT Told you anyThing abouT his lusus?
GG: it's an inkbeast sans ink
GG: I don't remember the name he said it all fancy
GG: like
GG: hellfire car
GG: although I pictured it more like a truck
GG: infernal truck fire
GG: no wait
GG: van fire is infernal
GG: or something along those lines
TT: so like, a fire squid?
GG: I don't know I haven't seen it
GG: mat says it stays in the deeper levels of his hive
TT: oh waiT, he Told me abouT ThaT. ThaT's The room he wanTed To puT lamps on, apparenTly iT's piTch black in There.
GG: is his hive really that deep
TT: ThaT's a quesTion for a grouchier fellow, I'm afraid.
GG: I guess
GG: we should invite him sometime
TT: ?
GG: to roleplay with us
TT: hah. ThaT's a good one.
GG: I really don't get why he's such a sourpuss about it
GG: it's been fun so far nobody has died
TT: I Think There's more To iT Than him jusT being insufferable.
TT: maybe someone did die, who knows.
GG: bluh
TT: buT also he's Too full of himself To admiT he wanTs To play wiTh us.
TT: he'll jusT make a fool of himself Trying To preTend he haTes iT.
GG: that's the thing though. he's usually so
GG: goofy
GG: just generally fun to ramble with
GG: I bet he'd have a great time playing this
TT: if you're really ThaT boThered by him poTenTially flaking on us jusT rp in his pms.
TT: geT in There n preTend-eaT his enTire fridge.
GG: his time has come
GG: today I terrorize his pretend-living quarters
TT: ThaT's The spiriT!
TT: now go preTend-break all his windows in my honour.
GG: do it yourself coward
TT: no, I'm Too good for ThaT.
GG:
GG: he still has you blocked
TT: he is weak n a wasTe of my Time.
GG: sure
GG: I'll tell him you said hi and to unblock you
TT: whaT. no, don'T acTually do ThaT.
GG: too late
TT: aT leasT make iT seem ThreaTening?
GG: oops I can't hear you anymore
GG: I must be passing through a pretend-tunnel
GG: the schhhhh static is schhh overwhelming

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling memo The confronTaTion on board The Tales of neiTher of your names go firsT anymore This is abouT me now! --

———

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 01:28! --

GG: *a wild ed drops from your ceiling. claws ready to kill*
GG: toooommmm. I've come for your thinkpaaaannnn
GT: I've got bad news then
graveTremor [GT] sent file mypoormug.png
GG: what
GG: NOOOO YOUR BRIAN
GG: it was so young. so precious. its little wrinkles are gone
GG: how did this happen
GT: the stairs, man
GT: I ate shit on the very last step
GT: at least I didn't shatter the thing all over the stairs, that would have been a bitch to clean
GT: I should have listened to my own advice
GT: fuck the stairs
gildedGallery [GG] sent file Imadeitmugeyebrowshehe.png
GG: braindan demands justice
GT: the fabled tice juice
GT: sorry braindan, your totally identical twin who wasn't adopted at all is dead
gildedGallery [GG] sent file mugtears.png
gildedGallery [GG] sent file mugvendetta.png
GG: braindan will wish for your death till its last breath
GG: I mean. its last pour
GG: its last drink
GG: I need to up my mug roleplay game
GT: I have an idea for reparations, mr braindan
graveTremor [GT] sent file ohmymugsthatactuallymatch.png
GT: new mugs in arms
GG: hmmmm a tempting offer
GG: maybe I can convince braindan not to kill you in your sleep
GT: I'd like to see it try
graveTremor [GT] sent file readytobeefwithamug.mp4
GG: hehehe
GG: get those karate chops ready then. I don't think braindan will forgive you now
GT: can we still get matching mugs
GG: yeah 3D
GG: just not brain ones I'm not replacing braindan
GT: right because it’s a brain
GG: yes virtually indistinguishable
graveTremor [GT] sent file meowbeastapprovedtroll.jpg
GT: how about this
GG: it has to maaaatch
GG: ringo doesn't know you yet that's cheating
GT: you don't think she'll hate me right (|c)
GG: no. she has no hate in her soul
GG: she demolishes her prey for the funnies
GG: and food
GT: queen shit
gildedGallery [GG] sent file bal.png
gildedGallery [GG] sent file ock.png
GG: how about these
graveTremor [GT] sent file headinhands.png
GG: you laughedddd
GT: this is stupidddd
GG: so we getting the bald cock mugs
GT: we are not
GG: what why not
GT: not feeling it
GG: 3( you fear success
GG: mat would get the matching bald cock mugs with me
GT: he would not
GG: he so would
GT: you're lying to yourself
GG: tord would get the matching bald cock mugs with me
GT: well yeah, because the two of you are stupid like that
GG: that reminds me
GG: I was supposed to pretend-eat all your furniture
GG: you derailed me 3(
GT: and my couch stays uneaten one more day
GT: thank you, thank you
GT: please hold your applause
gildedGallery [GG] sent file eyeroll.gif
GG: also tord says hi
GT: ugh I don't give a shit
GG: did you block him for an actual reason now or is it still because of shenanigans
GT: shenanigans IS a perfectly valid reason, mind you
GG: are you being petty is what I mean
GT: always
GG: but more than usual
GT: I'm not talking to him
GG: becausssseeee
GT: I don't think you and mat should keep talking to him either
GG: what
GG: tom what the hell
GT: I have a good reason
GG: do you
GT: I know you like him a lot but I'm serious about this
GT: he is bad news
GG: what mat and I do is not for you to decide though and being vague is not helping your case
GT: I don't want you guys getting hurt because of him
GT: it's a matter of time
GG: tom. either cut it out or say what's actually going on
GG: I know you have this whole
GG: uncanny gut feeling about shit going wrong but
GG: we can't just cut him off
GG: specially if he hasn't done anything yet
GG: he cares about us. he wouldn't do anything on purpose
GG: you know he cares about you too right
GT: it's nothing, ed
GT: forget it, i shouldn't have said anything
GG: did he say something that ticked you off
GG: tom
GT: we had a disagreement
GG: about
GT: it doesn't matter
GG: but you're still mad
GT: quit your mother cluckbeast act
GT: i can deal with it
GG: e_e
GT: i'm being so motherfucking for real rn ed
GG: define deal
GT: i'll unblock him, happy?
GG: e___e
GG: yeah
GG: only if you don't resent me for insisting you get along
GG: I know I'm kinda meddling
GT: you are
GT: but it's whatever
GT: bluh i'm going to mat's
GT: i will pretend eat his food but without the pretend part
GG: I think he's still out
GG: you know about the sculpture
GT: no way, you think it'll be done today?
GG: no clue
GT: dude
GT: how am i going to resist drawing all over it with sharpies?
GG: I think mat would drown you
GT: worth it
GT: you think he'll have good suggestions for matching mugs?
GG: totally!!!!!

—————

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling memo slabder on board Ed's super cool board! --

GG: someone save me
GG: I can't take it anymore
GG: I'm writing my will. I leave everything to Ringo
TT: whaT.

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling memo slabder on board Ed's super cool board! --

TG: I!!! Should be the one complaining!!!
TG: What is this???
tintedGaze [TG] sent file matfeathercoat2-15.png
TG: You keep messing up my beautiful face!!!
GG: I'M TRYING
TG: TRY HARDER!!!
TT: 2-15, "keep messing", how many of These skeTches have you drawn, ed?
gildedGallery [GG] sent file screengrab959.png
gildedGallery [GG] sent file screengrab960.png
TT: dude.
GT: mat is this why you have multiple 12 hour calls from him?
TG: He owed me, plus, they're pretty
GT: so did I but you let it go after frappes WEEKS ago, what the fuck is this?
TT: exploiTaTion.
TG: It's not even that many!
gildedGallery [GG] sent file screengrab961.png
TG: ED!!
TT: maT really said.
tautologiskTanke [TT] sent file who'syourdaddyshadow.jpeg
TG: NO!!
GT: (XD)
TG: This is slander
GT: don't you mean slabder?
TT: maT slabder.
GT: mat slabder
GG: mat slabder
TG: IT WAS ONE TYPO
TG: ONE
GT: mat slabder
TT: maT slabder.

-- memo slabder has been renamed mat slabder! --

TG: I'm never using that fucking word again
GT: you said that last time
TG: This is why I won't let you guys live with me
GT: oof
TT: yeeeaa, TwisT ThaT knife, maT. >:)
GT: ed being awfully quiet now
TG: No, he's not
TG: We're on call and he is being A PAIN AND A HALF
GG: 3P
GG: defend me guys
GG: he wants me to draw him in his skimpiest swimsuits
TG: DON'T TAKE THAT OUT OF CONTEXT OH GLUB
TG: I LIVE UNDERWATER, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A SWIMSUIT
TT: maid ouTfiT when?
TG: My swimsuits are FULL BODY and CLASSY!!
GT: you said you had outgrown your favorite full body swimsuits
TG: Yes, I bought new ones
GT: how many?
TG: Yes, I bought new ones
GT: mat if that delivery drone heads your way I'm taking your credit card hostage
TG: >:(
TG: Tohhom, I'm rich
TG: I can buy as many as I want!
GT: yeah sure, but what are you going to do with 7 deliveries worth of clothes?
TG: 5!
TG: I got take out yesterday
GT: twice?
TG: No, the other was this collection of cool lamps I found on BayE
TG: They are so neat! I was planning on moving them all to this deep dark room on the lower levels of my hive, you know the one?
TG: It'd be perfect for reading! But I don't really read a lot, so they're hanging out with all my other neat things
GT:
GT: yup, see you in 15
TG: Nooooo Tooooom
GT: this is payback
TT: waiT, Tom.
GT: nope
TT: abouT your allowance.

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling memo mat slabder on board Ed's super cool board! --

TT: ok Then, basTard.
GG: tord I just got him to unblock you
TT: n I'm sTill unblocked, fyi.
GG: what did you even say to him last time he blocked you
GG: did you really fight
TT: I slammed some TruThs on his skull, is whaT I did.
GG: 3/

————

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 14:40! --

GG: tord life is bleak and miserable
GG: let's buy train tickets
TT: ?
GG: my pen BROKE
gildedGallery [GG] sent file despaired.png
TT: geT a new one.
GG: it'll get here in. 15. days
GG: 15
TT: why The fuck would iT Take so long? is iT custom made?
GG: it's because of where I live
GG: I'm telling you it's a pain getting in or out of here and there's nothing close by
GG: it's bbbboooorrrriiiinnnngggg
TT: anoTher day cursing grub-you.
GG: do you still need somewhere to stay
GG: I swear nothing could get to you here
GG: they wouldn't even think to look
TT: TempTing.
GG: it's a real offer. just so you know
TT: well leT's Talk logisTics Then.
GG: you'd move in with me????
TT: you menTioned Trains, is There a sTaTion around?
GG: yes!!!!
GG: well
GG: ok. not really
GG: the nearest station is 55 miles away
GG: and most of that would have to be on foot
GG: about 19 hours straight. we'd have to camp out I think
GG: the canopy is pretty dense though I don't think we'll struggle finding shade
TT: where The fuck do you live??
gildedGallery [GG] sent location!
GG: it's trees all the way tord
TT: lisTen, I'll have To Think iT Through. will The offer sTand a monTh from now?
GG: yeah dude of course
TT: guess I should sTarT saving up for Those TickeTs Then.
GG: my asshole neighbor will be ssssoooo jealous 33c
TT: I ThoughT you weren'T on speaking Terms.
GG: we'll be when he sees I've got an awesome new hivemate 3D
GG: he might have an actual crew but I've got you guys
TT: ed, I'd raTher noT puke rainbows righT now.
TT: oh no, I'm abouT To pass ouT.
TT: see whaT you bring upon a poor wounded peasanT?
GG: dramatic much
TT: noT aT all.
GG: it's true though
GG: I'd still like for all of us to move in together
GG: eventually
TT: maybe.
TT: we've goT Time.

———

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 23:24! --

TT: hey.
TT: I know you're sTill buTT hurT abouT lasT Time, buT I should Tell you anyways.
TT: ed says your lusus is ok. ThaT's good n all, buT if I were you I would Take precauTions.
TT: wiThdraw your enTire allowance n sTore iT somewhere safe. use only whaT you need.
TT: iT mighT sound dumb To you, your allowance being abouT quadruple of whaT I used To receive, buT long Term you'll be prepared in case someThing happens To your lusus.
TT: Think abouT iT, yeah?
TT: for ed and maT.
TT: ed really wanTs To see you.
TT: alive and well.
TT: Take care, Tohhom.
GT: can you even withdraw that kind of money, though?
TT: maT doesn'T seem To have a problem spending his.
TT: you could always buy expensive Things and Then resell Them laTer.
GT: i guess
GT: what are you doing?
TT: noT much, waiTing for a preTTy imporTanT message. You?
GT: i went to mat's again, he made me take some of his old clothes.
GT: who are you talking to?
TT: you.
TT: obviously.
GT:
GT: yeah, i need to set a reminder to never make conversation with you again
TT: don'T go jusT yeT, I do have some inTeresTing sTuff To Tell you.
GT: spit it out then
TT: I'm Taking down a drone TonighT. I have been sTudying Them from afar, buT I need To acTually geT my hands on one for whaT I have planned.
TT: I have iT all figured ouT so in no Time I'll be geTTing back wiTh my prize. IT's preTTy exciTing sTuff, isn'T iT?
GT: holy lettuce on a yoga pad
GT: STOP SENDING ME YOUR SUICIDE NOTES
GT: IT'S LIKE YOU WANT THEM PEER REVIEWED, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????
GT: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN TO ED AND MAT THAT I KNEW YOU WHERE DOING DANGEROUS STUFF AND I DIDN'T STOP YOU??
TT: yeah, I should seT ThaT reminder Too.
GT: i want to believe you're fucking with me but i know you're being 100% genuine right now, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING ???????
TT: Tohhom, you're biTTching over noThing. I have Taken down oTher kinds of drones before, I can handle myself.
GT: ???????
GT: when????? how?????
TT: and don'T go panicking To The oThers, I would have kepT my damn mouTh shuT abouT iT if I knew you'd reacT like This.
GT: did you think i'd cheer you on?
GT: you are what, five sweeps old, four feet tall and armed with a single gun?
GT: adults die to those things
TT: which is really paTheTic on Their parT, mighT I add.
GT: i hate you, why are you like this
GT: why do i even bother
GT: i'm not jaded enough for this
GT: why did mat have to take my cereal too it didn't even take the edge off
GT: gfdi
TT: I geT The feeling you're holding your head in your hands n wishing for deaTh.
TT: did I guess righT?
GT: oh gog shut up
TT: awesome. >:) >:) >:)
GT: the only death i'm wishing for is yours
GT: i can't wait for you to kick it and leave me alone
TT: Those are some very moTivaTing words, Thank you for always reminding me how badass I am in comparison To you.
GT: you're so dead
TT: I'd love To keep pushing your buTTons, buT I jusT goT The lasT confirmaTion I needed.
TT: I'll be back in a couple of hours, don'T miss me Too much while I'm gone.
GT: wait
GT: this could be the last time you talk to any of us
TT: iT won'T be.
TT: have a liTTle faiTh, would you?
GT: no, but go off i guess

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] ceased trolling graveTremor [GT] at 1:18! --

—————

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 2:37! --

TT: hey maT.
TT: I beT you 20 caegars I can do a carTwheel.
TG: Ooo! Deal!
tautologiskTanke [TT] sent file carTwheel2.mp4
TG: Nice!
TT: Thanks. you have my new accounT info, righT?
TG: I do :)
TG: Done
TT: cool.
TT: Talk To you laTer, man.
TG: bye!

-- tautologiskTanke [TT]ceased trolling tintedGaze[TG]at 2:49! --

––––

GG: guys I'm bored
GG: let's do something
GG: guys
GG: guys
GG: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
GG: tohhoooommmm
GG: I accidentally deleted the mixtape you sent me
GG: send it back maybe
GG: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
GG: mat come back
GG: I'm sorry I called your toys ugly
GG: it will happen again. they're so ugly and you know it
GG: why do you keep the plushies underwater. they look so sad and soggy
GG: but come back anyway

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling memo mat slabder on board Ed's super cool board! --

GT: you good?
GG: it's the boredom beast tom. I'm texting you from its belly
GG: I'm being digested
GT: tragic
GG: rescue me tom I don't want to be vored
GT:
GT: tell me that was a typo, our friendship hangs on your answer
GG: I have just decided it wasn't
GT: ok I'll stop responding now
GT: have fun staring at the ceiling while I'm out here living my best life
GG: mhm and that means
GT: staring at the ceiling while I wait for mat to choose a damn pair of shoes
GG: why
GT: we're going out
GG: where
GT: smoothies
GG: cool
GG: awesome
GG: good for you
GT: ed
GG: totally going to have a blast here by myself. don't even worry about me
GT: you don't have to be a dick about it
GG: no no
GG: who's being a dick
GG: I'm glad you guys are going places and having fun really
GT: I have the option be such an ass right now
GT: mat says to stop whining
GG: 3(
GT: do you want me to send you pictures?
GG: no
graveTremor[GT]sent file atlonglasthesdone.png
GT: oops too late
graveTremor[GT]sent file nosadsallowedbuster.mp4
GG: 3')
GG: yeah ok
GT: Did you sleep at all since yesterday?
GG: nah
GG: couldn't sleep
GT: Well you could start there then! Take a nap, Ed
GT: yeah dude
GT: I'll send you the pics later
GG: thanks guys
GG: have fun
GG: I mean it
GT: Also DON'T TALK CRAP ABOUT MY PLUSHIES WHEN I'M NOT ONLINE, YOU ABSOLUTE PRICK
GG: 3P

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling memo mat slabder on board Ed's super cool board! –

Chapter Text

A young troll stands in the middle of a cluttered room. He looks agitated, about two seconds away from upturning every last of his drawers. This young violet blood abruptly stops his fretting, heaves a long sigh, there's no reason to overreact so soon! He walks to the closet door passing by a tower of magazines and several meowbeast plushies.

He opens the door, releasing an avalanche of clothing. Although he's currently being buried under heaps of his own garments, introductions are imperative.

Your name is MA "WHERE IS IT?" You throw an armful of coats away from your face, "I swear I left it here somewhere!"

Let it be known that your urgency is warranted, you do have plans for later today, but there's plenty of time to find what you're looking for. Yes, just a quick introduction and you can be off to find whatever it is you need.

Your name is MAT "OH GOSH WHAT IF I LEFT IT DOWNSTAIRS?" Your hands fly to your cheeks in horror, "this is terrible timing, I can't believe I forgot."

You hurriedly sprint to the door and, like an uncoordinated newborn hoofbeast, trip over a misplaced raincoat. You let out a yelp when you land. Luckily the floor is sufficiently padded by discarded clothing and random stuffed animals. Someone should really organize all of this, the hive as a whole is a mess, maybe tomorrow you could start by tidying this closet.

"Why would I do that when I can just pay someone else to clean it? And where is this voice coming from?" You say out-loud, the following silence hangs for a moment.

Weird. You should just get this over with.

Your name is MATT "Wait, we're talking about me? Gasp! Could have started by saying that, disembodied voice in my head. Hello there, my name is Mat! Would you like a picture and autograph?"

You are 5 SWEEPS OLD. You always strive to LOOK YOUR BEST, no matter how GLOOM the day may be. You love BUYING THINGS almost as much as you like LOOKING AT YOURSELF. If you're being honest, MIRRORS and any other REFLECTIVE SURFACES are wonderful gifts from the universe and should be recognized as such.

Your HIVE is two thirds UNDERWATER, the dry part is useful for STORING THINGS that would be usually ruined by getting wet. And for visitors too, Tom has been dropping by a lot recently. You are EXCITED for the day he'll finally accept meeting your lusus, the suit and breathing tank might be a pain to carry all 600 METERS DOWN, but you think they'd get along like a hive submerged in jelly!

Your trollhandle is tintedGaze. You type in a civilized manner, if you say so yourself! It's been really fun having people to chat with, you're really glad you accepted Ed's invitation that one time

Ok, enough dilly dallying, what where you looking for again?

"My phone!" Oh, you could just facepalm right now. You were supposed to message the delivery system, you need to postpone that package somehow, otherwise it could ruin the surprise if Tom comes in early. You worked hard picking that dumb present!

By which you mean saw it on a walk through the mall and decided Tom would like it, but that's basically how it always goes, right?

You've been working on repaying him for that one time you broke his bass. "Accidentally!" Yes, that's what you told him. "Because it's true." You remember very vividly how it went, he made fun of your sculpture and you slammed his instrument on the edge of the pool and let it drop down to the underwater levels of your hive. "I didn't mean for our banter to get so out of hand! And he knows not to pick at me when I haven't had my beauty sleep." Fine. Keep pretending to be an imbecile. "Excuse me? Rude!"

You pick yourself off the floor, you really spent the last couple of minutes spacing out like an idiot, and go to one of your rooms. This is the one where you keep most of your electronic devices. The ones that aren't waterproof, that is. Maybe you can send Tom a message telling him you'll meet him at his hive this time. He got into the habit of arriving early just to raid your fridge while you're still getting ready, mighty impolite on his part, but you do appreciate the compliments when you change your outfit for the fifth time, no matter how underhanded they may be.

"Stop that! They're not underhanded!" You don't believe that, do you? "And I'm trying to get to a computer over here, if you wouldn't mind bugging off somewhere else." You don't get an answer for some time. Then you realize you're talking to yourself, "oh, don't even try that! I wouldn't act like such a buttmuffin."

You are the single most infuriating moron I've had the displeasure of perceiving. "I'm not even doing anything! Sounds like a you problem, if you ask me." Nobody bloody asked. You get to your grubtop. "And you're not even going to describe it properly?"

You. Get to your grubtop. And open Trollian.

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 19:02! --

GT: hey
GT: I don't think I can hang out tonight
GT: lusus is being fussy for some reason
GT: as embarrassing as it is I do need to get my head in the game when he decides it's time for some training
GT: also I'm still pissed my harpoon is classified as spearkind
GT: I was happy living in ignorance, fuck ed and tord and the whole strife deck system
GT: it even goes into prjectilkind if I

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 19:06! --

Oh. Well, that's enough to knock the wind from your sails. You hope he's doing alright; it looks like he didn't get to finish his message.

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 19:24! --

TG: That's alright, Tom! I'll be sure to pick some ice cream for you, then
TG: What were you excited about again? Coffee? Sherbet?
TG: Hold on, I'll check the logs
TG: I don't want ANYONE saying I'm not a good friend

For the record, you are inconsiderate and a pain to be around. You don't roll your eyes because it's unnecessary; there's nothing to roll your eyes at. You have no reason to get annoyed. You go to Tom's contact and scroll through the logs, skimming for anything that reminds you of your ice cream debate.

GT: I'm getting it for his hatchday
TG: That's sweet of you! Even if it's a bald cock mug,,,
GT: it's so so dumb
GT: should I send him the green or blue one?
GT: bluh, forget I asked
GT: I just threw up a bit in my mouth
TG: Sure
TG: I just don't get why you're waiting for his hatchday, you can give presents just because
GT: I'm shit at gifts, mat

Was Tord there? Ed, maybe? You don't remember if you had this conversation on a memo.

GT: so?
TG: I still think Verify is a better title
GT: it's a song about waiting in line
TG: But the punchline is getting scammed!
GT: I added that last minute, it's at the very end of the song
TG: Yes, it's genius! It adds intrigue, don't you think?
TG: Also, Customer Woes doesn't fit either! You only talk about the one woe!
GT: I could count at least 3
GT: first: waiting in line, second: making a fool of yourself in front of the cashier and third: getting scammed
TG: You just said getting scammed didn't count!!!

Ed is online, maybe he remembers?

TG: Are you okay?
TG: I wouldn't have let you indulge so much if I had known you were going to drop off the face of the earth afterwards
TG: You were so giggly just now, what happened?
TG: If you keep ignoring me I'm psyching Ed on you
TG: We agreed this didn't have to be a big deal, so stick to your word
TG: Tom, don't make me risk a sunburn
GT: hell lesve
GT: rhings will neber e yhe wqme
TG: Who?
GT: its emoty

You switch windows and pull up your chat with Ed, it doesn't hurt to ask.

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 19:27! --

TG: Ed!! I've got an inquiry for you!
GG: oooo give give give give
GG: wait what's an inquiry
TG: Do you remember what Tom's favorite ice cream flavor is? He was excited they finally restocked it
GG: uhhhh
GG: I think
GG: my first guess is coffee but that doesn't feel right somehow
TG: Right? I thought the same thing
GG: coffee was part of that conversation though
GG: I'd suggest asking tord. he's got good memory for the weirdest details sometimes
GG: except he'll most likely tell you his least favorite haha
GG: why the question though
TG: We were going to a coffee shop today
TG: He had to cancel because his lusus is taking the day to kick his behind
GG: heh nice
GG: how are you doing btw
GG: about the whole
GG: ragey thing
TG: Good! I've got it on lock!
TG: And key!
TG: And got an apology present and everything!
GG: what kind of present
TG: Well, when he was still upset he said he didn't want to get another bass because that one was a gift
TG: So I got one for him instead! I even got him some cute stickers so he can decorate it like his previous one
TG: I don't know if he'll like what I picked but it has those squares he likes so much
GG: that's cool
GG: did he accept your apology
TG: It'll arrive today, actually
GG: no I mean your apology
GG: you did talk about it right
TG: About,,, what?
GG: the reason you flew off the handle
TG: I think we're alright now
GG: e_e
TG: WE ARE! WE STILL HANG OUT ALL THE TIME
GG: you're right because you aren't bending out of shape for his forgiveness or anything
TG: Exactly! I'm glad you see my point
TG: I have more self-respect than that, after all
GG: e_e x2 combo
TG: xP!!!
GG: 3P 3P 3P 3P
TG: You're lucky I'm not on my phone right now
GG: L
TG: But, you know
TG: I'm only doing this because I'm not proud of the way I acted
TG: It really feels like I can't help myself, it's really scary
GG: it's ok mat
GG: you're working on it
TG: I am :)
GG: 3D
TG: I might try my luck asking Tord anyways
GG: yeah go do that
GG: and tell me if he replies
GG: he's been kinda quiet lately
TG: Will do!

You open yet another window, this one with Tord's trollhandle.

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling tautologiskTanke [TT] at 19:38! --

TG: Hey Tord! You there?

This is somewhat of a gamble, you think, Tord has been quiet. He hasn't spoken on memos for a while now, maybe a couple of weeks? You wonder what's up with that, the last three times you've texted him he hasn't responded, and the last time he talked to you...

You open the chatlog.

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 2:37! --

TT: hey maT.
TT: I beT you 20 caegars I can do a carTwheel.
TG: Ooo! Deal!
tautologiskTanke [TT] sent file carTwheel2.mp4
TG: Nice!
TT: Thanks. you have my new accounT info, righT?
TG: I do :)
TG: Done
TT: cool.
TT: Talk To you laTer, man.
TG: bye!

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] ceased trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 2:49! --

He was running low on money. You swear he thinks he's being sneaky, but you have him aaaaall figured out. He needs the money but would sooner be caught dead asking for it outright. You can respect that, you guess. Doesn't mean you didn't catch up with this technique of his by the fourth time it happened. See? You aren't as dumb as you make yourself out to be.

"I'm not doing anything! We're just... messing around."

What was that? Oops, you're thinking out loud, please excuse you.

Still, there's something about this that's bothering you: The timing. Right after this Tom started acting weird. Only in the little things! But you get the feeling something went down between those two.

It's worrisome because Tom knows things. You have yet to get a straight answer from him but you think it's his eyes, cerulean's abilities are funky, in your opinion. Tom said he wasn't a psychic, but maybe he doesn't realize unnerving insight abilities also count. They count, right?

You would rather not get caught up in their drama, you care about your crew but you really, really couldn't mediate to save your life. Still, you could help in other ways! Maybe you can piece together what happened, or something. You don't get deterred by the certified mountain of proof saying you're not smart enough for this, how inspiring.

"And now you call me stupid? Pick a side!"

You scroll through your logs with Tord.

TG: It's not really an issue, gills work both ways
TT: so, hypoTheTically, you can'T waTerboard a seadweller.
TG: Nope!
TT: whaT if iT's noT jusT waTer?
TG: Obviously that changes everything, it's not like you can drink straight bleach
TT: poinT Taken. when The waTer is mixed wiTh someThing else, is iT The same as inhaling smoke?
TG: Depends what you mix it with, I guess
TT: kerosene.
TG: You're not plotting my murder, are you?
TT: noT yours, don'T worry. would coloranT be more like smoke? n mosT imporTanTly, would iT be painful To inhale?

You two don't really talk about personal matters, now that you think about it. You remember only one instance, maybe a couple of days after Tom's whole almost dying stunt.

TT: you can sTill see messages from someone who has you blocked on memos.
TG: And how do you know that, hm?
TT: I make many a dimwiT jealous, maT. I'm so irresisTible, Trolls despise me lefT n righT.
TG: I have no doubts
TG: But this is about Tom, isn't it?
TT: do you have To bring him up?
TG: It iiiiiis hehehe that's so gross
TG: But it's okay, I'm not a gossip
TT: somehow I don'T believe you.
TG: I'm not! Have you ever seen me spill the tea about someone else?
TT: ed looking up henTai.
TG: NO THAT HAPPENED ON A MEMO!! YOU COULD HAVE READ IT ON YOUR OWN
TT: excuses, excuses.
TT: n There's no Tea To be had here, anyways.
TG: Now THAT'S the real excuse
TT: no, I'm serious.
TT: I guess if conscripTion were a perigee away and I sTill had no kismesis I could maybe sTomach The one conTracTual deed.
TG: I DIDN'T ASK!!!

Ugh, it's this one, you remember this one. Is getting to the bottom of Tord's disappearance really that important? Is this really worth reading?

TT: buT geTTing Tangled inTo a relaTionship would be counTerproducTive.
TT: he's an inTriguing piece of shiT n I respecT him somehow, buT he will noT be moved.
TT: he's such a Tease abouT iT, Too. he says shiT n I'm like, This fucker geTs iT. buT Then he cowers behind his expensive-ass 'coon like, nooo we're doooooomed, iT's all poinTleeess. if I could punch him Through The screen he wouldn'T have any TeeTh lefT by now. iT pisses me off.
TG: I regret this line of conversation, you have no shame
TT: n noT even The good kind of pissed off. like, we could work, maybe, if he goT his head ouT of his ass. if he fucking cared. hell, it's noT even ThaT he doesn'T care, he jusT needs To puT his fucking money where his mouTh is, back whaT he says wiTh acTions. buT I guess ThaT jusT circles around To The same issue.
TG: Tord I JUST replaced my keyboard
TT: he's such an ass.
TT: we would noT be healThy aT all. no maTTer how much I'd like To change him.
TG: Are you done with your lack of tea?
TT: no.
TG: TOO BAD I'M CHANGING THE SUBJECT
TG: TOP TEN RIFLES, GO!
TT: I recommended you sTick To shoTguns buT I'll Take The ouT.

No, no it wasn't. There are no clues here and you refuse to linger on this trainwreck of a conversation. All you've got is that he asked for a little bit of money before peacing out.

You didn't see anything suspicious when you read through your logs with Tom either, except maybe for the fact he started coming over more often after your last chat with Tord. You'd love to pretend it's just for your company, "I don't have to pretend anything, shut up!" But you know deep down he's only using you to get wasted on sweets. "You don't know what you're talking about! He didn't have to keep up with the rule of no sweets in his hive but he only does it because he knows we care about him." You're using each other. No matter how much you love yourself, you crave the attention, the approval "SHUT UP!"

-- tintedGaze [TG] is no longer idle! --

TG: TORD'S STILL not responding
TG: :(
GG: damn
GG: I wonder if something happened
GG: he told me not to worry but
GG: the place where he lives is kinda scary
TG: I hope he's alright

What? Aren't you going to tell your friend about your brilliant insights on the matter? Your investigation attempt? How Tom warned you Tord would leave? Are you keeping secrets, Matth

TG: Hey, Ed
GG: yeah

Tell him. Tell him you've been lying about

TG: What are you doing?
GG: looking for new games to play
GG: attack of the celluloids was way too buggy
GG: pun intended
GG: you
TG: Remember when we talked?
TG: And I told you I was never alone?
GG: yes
TG: I'm double not alone right now

You disgraceful piece of shit.

GG: what do you mean
GG: are there two not-yous now
TG: No, the other mes are just me
TG: And I'm still here with me
GG: yes right
TG: The thing is that this new one is distinctly NOT me-shaped
GG: and the others are
TG: Yes! Remember, it's me all the way
GG: right right
GG: there's someone else in your head
GG: the regular kind of someone else in your head or
GG: like are we talking mind control
TG: I don't think so, violets aren't really susceptible to psychic abilities
TG: It would have to be an exceptionally strong chucklevoodoo
GG: possessed then
TG: I don't feel possessed! It's so weird
TG: There's nobody here and I'm myself but
TG: I can hear them
TG: they're being quiet right now, but if I think too much or do something they start saying things and telling me how to feel or what to think
TG: AND THEY'RE RUDE AS WELL
GG: sounds like possession to me
GG: did you try asking them to leave

I'll spare you the oxygen, that won't work.

TG: They're stubborn >:(
GG: worth a shot
GG: since when is this happening exactly
TG: Like, the last hour? I was looking for my phone and they started saying something about introductions
TG: I wasn't actually paying attention
GG: did they introduce themselves
TG: No, it was about me! But there's no one else here
GG: weird
GG: do you think they'll follow you outside
TG: It followed me through the hive
GG: maybe they're confined to the hive
GG: you were heading out anyways right
TG: I don't want them to follow me all the way to KatCat Cafefé's :( I spoke to them a couple of times, people will think I'm a CREEP if I talk to a disembodied voice!
GG: try going to tom's
TG: :(
TG: Ok
TG: Let me give him a warning, I might be about to bring a malicious entity to his lawnring
GG: keep me posted yeah
TG: I'll bring out my finest stamps!
GG: 3P 3P 3P

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased pestering gildedGallery [GG] at 20:29! --

"So?" The room is quiet. You wait for the other shoe to drop but it remains out of sight. "Is that all you've got to say for yourself?" There is no answer and nobody to answer. You are alone. "As if! Stop pretending I'm really talking to myself." You have the feeling you won't be getting anywhere by babbli

"What do you want?"

there's no answer.

"Who are you?"

You are talking to thin air. It's a good thing your neighbors live so fa

"How are you doing this?"

You need to leave, it's getting awfully tense inside.

"But you aren't inside."

Your feet carry you to the door. "Hey! What are you doing?!" You pass through the hallway, "is that my phone?" and ignore the phone lying on the dresser. "No! I'm picking it up!" You set the phone back down, "I have it in my hand right now!!" You head to the entrance door. Your little island is too small, you need to take a break from today. "What are you talking about? You're the only weird thing here! Leave me alone!" You drop your phone "I CATCH IT! I CATCH IT BEFORE IT HITS THE WATER! I message Tom!"

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 20:30! --

TG: TOM I'M POSSESSED BY SOME WEIRD DISEMBODIED VOICE IT'S MAKING ME DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS AND SHIT TALKING ABOUT ME I THINK IT'LL TAKE ME TO YOUR PLACE I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER PLEASE HELP
GT: what

You mount your personal watercraft and take off, the faster you can get out of here the better. "I kick you in the face!" For some reason you insist on your fruitless monologue, "WHAT IS HAPPENING? HELP!" No one is going to help you.

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling memo putting the tom in tomb on board Ed's super cool board! --

TG: I THINK IT WANTS TO MURDERMEOHGODWHATDOIDOHELPHELPHELP
GG: MAT????
GT:
GT: a guy can't play high stakes hide and seek with his lusus anymore without it turning into a massacre, I see how it is
TG: Indeed, Tom.
TG: IT'S TALKING THROUGH ME????????

Your foolishness has caused this, don't forget. "WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEAAAAN?!"

GG: mat where are you
GT: on his way towards me, I think
GT: man, this is really not the time for random possessions, if I move I'll get a claw to the face
GG: tom
GT: yeah, yeah
GT: I'll help prince charming, don't sweat
TG: I will make this sorry excuse of a heart player slice his own neck while you watch, little cerulean.
GT: mat, did you break up with this thing or something?
TG: HUH??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
TG: You'll be next, Tom.
GT: hm, how forward
GT: shame I don't fancy some parasite like you anywhere inside me
TG: COULD YOU NOT FLIRT WITH THE ENTITY PILOTING MY BODY??????? KINDLY?????
GT: whoa, who's flirting?
GG: and this is the dork that worries about vore jokes
GT: ed you can't keep bringing that up every time I say the word inside
GG: you can't keep setting yourself up
GT: it was a genuine daymare, which you caused btw
TG: GUYS YOU'RE THE ONES KILLING ME RIGHT NOW

You arrive to the little pier to the side of the cliff. The phone slips from your hand when you get down from your watercraft, "Nooo! My selfies!" although it's a good thing your phone is 100% waterproof it will still be annoying to find. Luckily for you there won't be any need to retrieve it after this.

You walk up the side of the hill, steps quick. Tom's hive towers above in no time, hanging anchors and all. You throw yourself forwards blindly and not a moment later an explosion goes off behind you.

"Heads up, parasite." The cerulean troll stands on the rails of his balcony, he points at you with a Molotov cocktail. "I don't know if this idiot broke your poor bloodpusher and I don't care. Playtime is over."

"You plan to cook him alive just to get me out?" Your lips move around my words, you can't do anything to stop this. "How adorable. Perhaps I overestimated you."

"Eww. Mat, I take back what I said about your voice being annoying, this totally takes the cake."

"Tom, I'm being gaslighted and used like a puppet. If you've got any ideas on how to stop this please execute them now." You barely manage to finish your sentence before a cackle sprouts out of you, this little blue runt thinks he is intimidating? You open your arms just as wide as your forced smile "Please enlighten me, little cerulean. Wait. WAIT, NO. TOM!"

"'Kay." He shrugs and throws the bottle on his other hand directly to your skull. The glass shatters, a lilac cloud of spores covers you.

You're out cold.

Okay. Maybe this was an oversight on my part. The cerulean gets down from the railing and goes back inside his hive. Little does he know; all I need to come back is a host. It’s as easy as shifting focus.

Your name is TOM. Um. Your name is… TOM… MAZ? TOMCHE? Uh. Why can’t I access…?

He comes back to you at a snail’s pace, this time through his front doors. “Oof, that’ll leave a bump.” He kneels beside your prone body. His fingers ruffle your hair around where the bottle hit, “no cuts though, nice.”

Something is preventing me from focusing on him. This has officially become more trouble than it’s worth, surely there's easier prey nearby. I think these two deserve a little goodbye present, after all.

You are now the ONE-EYED BEAST LUSUS. Tohhom’s lusus, huh. Today your charge has been all kinds of ingenious, hasn’t he? Between strifing and hide and seek you can confidently say he’s becoming more skillful every day. Well, aren’t you a proud custodian? But who could blame you, your little bag of chitinous body parts has been growing up so fast; sometimes you wonder if he even needs you nowadays. You should just leave and get a new grub.

ROAAAAAAR!!

What? It’s a valid train of thought. He is almost 6 sweeps old! Conscription is basically right around the corner and you know he can take care of himself. Should you really keep treating him like the tiny, bubbly little grub you first saw in the caverns? Hm?

That’s right. You’re leaving hi ROAAAAAR!!! OK FINE. MURDER IT IS. THE ONE TIME IT WASN’T MY FIRST OPTION. FUCK YOU.

You move your big butt to one of the balconies and climb the roof, yes, grumble all you want it doesn’t matter. You can see your charge and his fish friend down below; it would appear the seadweller is waking up already. This feels like the perfect time to play tag, doesn’t it? You leap to the ground.
“Fiduspan WHAT? Tom, ugh!”

“Well, it worked. Be grateful I still had the stardust on hand from, like, last perigee.” Your charge helps the violet blood to his feet. The two of them startle and turn when you land right behind them. “Oh, hey. We got a visitor, big guy.” The seadweller shifts behind his friend, what a pathetic waste of space, hiding from you. You growl, is this really the company your charge deserves?

“Uh, don’t you remember Mat? He’s basically the only one who visits me.” And you’ve tolerated him long enough. You used to not give a shit who Tohhom associated with but that ends tonight. “Oh, shit.”

You lunge towards the seadweller and he screams. Your claws graze the side of his face, your charge has tackled him out of reach. “Tom, I thought you said he liked me!” The two of them stand up and start running away from the hive. “I never said that!” You give chase.

The violet troll leads your charge down to the pier. It seems he wants to make a quick getaway in his personal watercraft, that’s too bad, because you are now the other guy.

Your name is MATTHW HIGRIF. “NO!” Your good friend Tord recommended you practice with your shotgun more often, “TOM!” So, you take your shardgun out of your strife deck and aim. His head swerves towards you, the barrel almost between his eyes. So long, sucker. He opens his mouth and you pull the trigger.

The beast is faster than your wimpy fingers, apparently; it flung itself to you, slamming your back to the floor. The shot still rings in the air.

Most of the sharp glass sliced through its head. Its blue blood rains down to your face, the taste reminds you of spiders. You distantly hear Tom screaming, there was an explosion, but the beast’s arms give out and it falls on top of you.

Alright. This is good enough for me!

Chapter Text

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling memo putting the tom in tomb on board Ed's super cool board! --

GG: finally
GG: what took you so long
GG: I was climbing my walls in anticipation you can't leave me hanging like this
GG: everything alright over there
GG: the stamps guys you're supposed to keep me posted
GG: ok that was mat but still
GG: update me like idk a calendar
GG: no wait I can do better
GG: update me like a lame music software
GG: that's what tom was ranting about right
GG: it's either that or chitter accounts I don't know this is getting away from me
GT: Tom is moving in with me
GG:
GG: ok????
GG: ok
GG: mat I need you to tell me if either of you are injured
GT: No injuries
GT: Except for a little bump on my head :(
GT: And I lost my phone :(
GG: what happened
GT: Tom is moving in with me, we should get started right away!
GG: wait
GG: wait mat
GT: Oh, right! Ice cream first!
GT: We'll talk later, Ed!

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling memo putting the tom in tomb on board Ed's super cool board! --

____

-- constanteGanador [CG] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 03:32! --

CC: would you 1ook at t#at. your cyber security is as pat#etic as a1ways.
CC: I would #ave t#oug#t you'd learn by now #ow use1ess t#e b1ock button is w#en your opponent is as SKI11FU1 and RESOURCEFU1 as I am.

-- gildedGallery [GG] blocked constanteGanador [CG] ! --

____

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 01:03! --

GG: tom
GG: are you guys done moving

-- graveTremor [GT] is idle! --

GG: please get back to me
GG: it's been a night already

-- gildedGallery [GG] is idle! --

____

-- críticoCabalico [CC] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 11:55! --

CC: so as you know. t#is is c#i1d's p1ay to me.
CC: you don't even code t#e viruses yourse1f. I can just look up #ow to get around your b1ack1ists and error messages.
CC: I may #ave #ad to 1isten to you are an idiot more times t#an I wou1d #ave 1iked. but in t#e end on1y one of us is SUCCEEDING in BETTERING #imse1f.
GG: busy
CC: iwt's sowid pwoof t#at I um so muc# bettew t#an mew. *sweats* bwecuase I actuawwy *screams cutely* put in t#e x3 EFFOWT instoast of wazing awound aww day wit# siwwy *looks at you* dwawings and whatevew buwwshit anyamations mew go on nyand on apout evewy day. I w-wouwd sugoigest uwu :3 mew got off youw ass *runs away* nyand did somewthing usefuw. but nyu hawe pwobabwy awweady fuwused wit# youw shkitty bean OwO bag.
CC: ed mew swoon >w<⁢ OF A BITC# nyan!!!!!

____

-- graveTremor [GT] is no longer idle! --

GT: ed look ive got a new basd
graveTremor [GT] sent file susann.png
GT: got this checkred pattern
GT: its good coolest (|D)!!!!
GT: i named her susann
GT: ed it saus ur online
GT: dont sleep on ur bean bag dum skull ull get daymare
GT: s
GT: ill make a song 4 u ull see
GT: its the sleep time
GT: the time to slep
GT: u need up ur seat
GT: no tea t sip
GT: no cjance to dance
GT: cowards has
GT: correspondance
GT: all i sau is
GT: go to coon ed
GT: word
GT: im
GT: the lyricist of the centaury
GT: century
GT: do you think i could giude u home with a sonf

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 17:46! --

____

-- críticoCabalico [CC] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 05:17! --

CC: Ed. I swear to G1UB if you pu11 some bu11s#it 1ike t#at again I'm not te11ing you s#it about t#ose beac#ed idiots you care about so much.
CC: not so fast t#oug#. don't t#ink I forgot about t#at 1itt1e b1ue friend of yours terrorizing Jon.
CC: I cou1d be t#e BIGGER person and 1et it go. but none of you dimwits deserve it.
CC: sti11 giving me t#e si1ent treatment. #u#?
CC: w#at. do t#ey actua11y mean T#AT 1itt1e to you?
CC: I guess it doesn't matter if t#ey died or get cu11ed soon. you wou1dn't actua11y to1erate t#eir physica1 presence anyways.
CC: and 1et me break it to you. t#ere's no amount of pity in t#is p1anet t#at wou1d make anyone stand a DAY of being near you. being cooked a1ive by t#e sun is a muc# better fate.
CC: so?
CC: for fuck's sake. are you sti11 s1eeping? serious1y? it's a1most morning a1ready.
CC: #ow many #ours can you s1eep for?????
CC: ug#. I don't care.
CC: wake up.
CC: I #ave news from t#e coast dumbass.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: I forget #ow to turn on notifications. #old on.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
CC: wake up.
GG: shut
CC: wake up.
CC: o# #ey!
CC: fina11y!

-- gildedGallery [GG] blocked criticoCabalico [CC] ! --

____

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 5:28! --

GG: tom you're alright!!!!
GG: I totally wasn't sleeping lol
GG: aaaand you are totally asleep now
GG: great
GG: dude I need like
GG: 20 more hours of sleep
GG: because you know
GG: I super wasn't sleeping ha ha
GG: we need to talk dude

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling graveTremor [GT] at 5:36! --

____

-- aprietoPrimero [AP] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 7:13! --

AP: 1ast fucking attempt.
AP: fuck you. FUCK YOU. you don't deserve S#IT!!!!! so YOU!! S#UT UP!!!
GG: ok yeah but only because your new name is great
GG: it's silly
AP: I SAID S#UT UP.
AP: AND NO IT ISN'T.
AP: but. you know. of course it IS great. I came up wit# it.
GG: do you actually have anything important to say
AP: #a! good one. everyt#ing I say is important.
GG: about my friends
AP: #m?
AP no. not rea11y.
AP: OF COURSE I DO. ARE YOU I11ITERATE?????

-- gildedGallery [GG] blocked aprietoPrimero [AP] ! --

GG: oh wait that was a yes oops

-- gildedGallery [GG] unblocked aprietoPrimero [AP] ! --

AP: I #ope you #ave a s1ow and painfu1 deat#.
GG: as usual
GG: so
AP: you #ave to give me somet#ing first.
GG: what
AP: w#y are you surprised? you are suc# a se1f centered prick. aren't you fami1iar wit# a basic exc#ange?
GG: I meant
GG: what *do you want
GG: what *is it
GG: what *can I do to end this conversation faster
AP: I want t#e rustb1ood to c#eck on an acquaintance of mine. t#ey are in rough1y t#e same area and I #aven't #eard about t#em in a w#i1e.
AP: I want to confirm if my t#is person got ki11ed or not. so I need t#e rusty to ask around near #is o1d 1awnring.
GG: oh ok I bet tord would be down for that
GG: you'll have to wait a bit though
GG: tord is busy right now
AP: wit# w#at?
GG: uhhhh vacations
AP: vacations away from your pestering. understandab1e.
GG: your turn smartass
AP: t#e b1ue one's 1usus is dead. I don't know w#at #appened exact1y. but Mark t#inks a strife went too far or somet#ing
GG: are they ok
AP: my crew was now#ere near t#e s#ore w#en it #appened. so as okay as one can be wit# drones f1ying around t#e p1ace. Jon #asn't been ab1e to go outside because of t#at
GG: my friends asshole
AP: o#. yea#. forgot you t#ink you got t#ose.
AP: I guess t#ey're sti11 a1ive. #onest1y from w#at Mark to1d me t#ey're apparent1y pretty c#i11.
AP: I mean. w#o goes s#opping rig#t after t#eir 1usus dies?
AP: you t#ere?
GG: yes
GG: did mark talk to them?
AP: yea#. ran into eac# ot#er at t#e ma11. #e described t#em as "High as a Pair of kites, In completely different Direxions".
GG: mmmmyeah ok I can imagine what that means
GG: ok It's fine
AP: are you worried about it?
GG: nope
AP: #eart1ess.
GG: if you say so
AP: #it me up w#enever rusty comes back on1ine.
GG: sure
GG: thanks
AP: you're never wort# t#e effort.
GG: ow the edge
AP: FUCK OFF.

-- aprietoPrimero [AP] blocked gildedGallery [GG] ! --

____

--tintedGaze [TG] began trolling memo temporary name change what is happening why is nobody telling me SHIT on board Ed's super cool board! --

TG: Ok!
TG: Everything is alright now!
GG: MAT IT'S BEEN 5 NIGHTS WHAT IS GOING ON
GG: YOU BETTER TALK NOW BECAUSE I'M THIS CLOSE TO CHUCKING MYSELF TO YOUR PLACE
gildedGallery [GG] sent file nospacebetweenthefingersbecauseIhavethetrainstation'spageopeninanothertabIAMSERIOUS.png
TG: I'M SORRY OK?? IT'S BEEN STRESSFUL
GG: AAAA LISTEN
GG: IT'S JUST. YOU GUYS ARE AVOIDING ME
GG: I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU
TG: EEEEWWWW
TG: ED DON'T SAY THAT, IT'S SCARY!!!
GG: IT'S THE TRUTH
TG: I HATE THE TRUTH!!! I WANT TO GO BACK TO WHEN I HAD NO FRIENDS AND I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE'S DEATH
GG: wha
GG: mat 3((((
GG: you don't mean that
TG: I DO!!! THIS IS STUPID AND STRESSFUL
GG: it's only stupid and stressful because you won't let me help you
TG: :(((
GG: what happened
TG: Everything is alright now
TG: But Tom's lusus is dead
TG: We had to move his stuff to my place and then sell about half of what was left because it was a hive full of furniture and stuff
TG: We went to get ice cream but I think we both hate ice cream now and it's been so weird having him in MY HIVE
TG: I Know I Told you it made me uncomfortable but I Just don't get it
TG: I'M mad that I Can't be mad
TG: I DON'T WANT TOM TO GET CULLED BUT HE'S IN MY HIVE AND HE WILL BE IN MY HIVE AND WHY DO I NOT WANT TO CLAW HIS FACE OFF FOR TOUCHING MY STUFF
TG: I TOTALLY WANT TO CLAW HIS FACE OFF FOR TOUCHING MY STUFF
TG: IT'S EXACTLY AS UNNERVING AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
GG: mat
TG: HE'S IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HIM ANYMORE
TG: TOM WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME
TG: HE HATES ME
GG: I'm sorry mat
GG: we'll figure this out
GG: we're in this together. all four of us
TG: OH DON'T MOCK ME! YOU'RE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST, TOM IS HOLING HIMSELF UP IN HIS ROOM PROBABLY PASSED OUT FROM SOME SORT OF DIABETIC COMA AND TORD LEFT US
TG: OR MAYBE HE GOT CAUGHT
TG: OH GLUB HE'S PROBABLY DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE
TG: I DON'T WANT ANY OF US TO DIE
GG: mat please remember to breathe
GG: want to call?
TG: NOOOOO
TG: I'M A MESS
GG: that's fine
GG: but you know I don't mind

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling memo temporary name change what is happening why is nobody telling me SHIT on board Ed's super cool board! --

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling memo temporary name change what is happening why is nobody telling me SHIT on board Ed's super cool board! --

____

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 20:23! --

TT: hey.
TT: remember when I said I was waiTing for an imporTanT message?

-- graveTremor [GT] is idle! --

TT: ok. ThaT's fine, I can do This wiTh or wiThouT your inpuT.
TT: The guy is acTually off planeT.
TT: beT you're freaked ouT righT now.
TT: which is fair because.
TT: adulTs.
TT: I wouldn'T be Though, he's on my side.
TT: he agrees wiTh me.
TT: said my plan was risky buT sTill gave me whaT I asked for.
TT: lasT Time I almosT bleed ouT.
TT: I made an awesome gun wiTh The scraps, so. ThaT evens iT ouT a biT.
TT: I'll make iT This Time.

-- graveTremor [GT] is no longer idle! --

GT: ur alive???
TT: I'll show you.

-- tautologiskTanke [TT] ceased trolling graveTremor [GT] at 20:32! --

[Chatlog deleted!]

___

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 20:36! --

GG: tom!!!!
GG: how are you
GG: awesome song by the way I would totally fall asleep to it
GT: thx ed!!!! (|D) i think i hallucinated tord messagin me
GG: e_e ... what are you eating
GT: i had sour grubmies and hrad candies but rn i swiched to crackers and grub suace
GT: i guesd actually eating real food dos help
GG: good
GG: just make sure you drink lots of water too
GT: on it cap
GG: what did tord say
GT: uhhhhhhh
GT: i was more focusd on the fact he messaged in the first place
GG: did it sound like him
GT: very
GT: very bery
GT: itll sound dumb but i think hes alright
GT: for mow
GG: I'm choosing to believe he did message you and is alright!!!!
GT: yea!!!! (|D)
GT: denial!!!!!
graveTremor [GT] sent file sickbasssolo.mp3
GG: 3D
GG: *clap clap clap*
gildedGallery [GG] sent file st4nding_0v4ti0n.gif
GG: how is your new room by the way
GT: its cool
GT: mats hive is stupid big for 0 reason
GT: if he just cleaned out some rooms we wouldnt even rin into eachother ever
GG: andddd you don't want to run into him orrrr
GT: ed hes being stupid
GT: its like he thinks the drones r coming 4 him next
GT: it wasnt even his lusus
GG: sure it's not because he's the reason his friend is wanted dead
GT: so?
GT: kids die all the time and im not even ded
GT: im ovre it already
GT: i choose to believe he dint know everything would go to shit
GT: which is true and not denial his time
GG: sure would be nice if you told him that
GT: dont pusj it
GG: just a friendly reminder
GG: I mean if you're not going to say it outright you could at least let him know through other methods
GT: ed u and ur solldaritry r on thin ice
GT: what methods
GG: honestly I think you could say hi to him and he'd fold like wet paper
GT: dude
GG: listen. he's going through it right now
GG: I just stopped him from buying t-shirts from bands he's never heard of
GG: more I mean
GG: also don't tell him I said this but I think that evil spirit thing messed with his head
GG: he was trying really hard to convince me he wasn't lying about not being in control when I didn't even suggest otherwise
GG: but he refused to tell me what went down
GG: which. by the by
GG: do you know what happened that he doesn't want to tell me
GT: lmao u bet ur new drawing tablet i do but im not sniching
GG: 3(
GT: dont pout, if he dosnt feel like telling u then he doesnt hve to
GG: 3(((( fair
GT: the thing i don get is
GT: why
GT: why is this so impritant fo him
GT: bc he didnt have to take me in rither, i told him i could handle it on my owm
GT: hell if tord mansged just fone for like a sweep or something i sure can 2
GT: mat dosnt have to do shit 4 me i know he doesnt wany any of us living w him
GG: oh my lucky can tom you will never believe this
GT: whqt?
GG the reason mat feels bad
GT: ?
GG: iiiis
GT: omg ed
GG: iiiiiiiis
GT: yea ok i get it its frencsip or wtvr
GG: drumroll please
GG: come on
GT: seriously
GG: so serious
graveTremor [GT] sent file unnecedsarydumroll.mp3
GG: *checks notes* *gasp* *whispers* tom you'll never guess
GT: o(-< my bod found on ths crime csene
GG: he cares about his friends!!!!
GT: no way??!?
GG: no one could have foreseen this I can't believe it this is completely unheard of I am shook
GT: ed u r the cheesiyest guy ive ever met
GG: I don't think you know more than three people
GT: youd be aurprised
gildedGallery [GG] sent file eyeroll.gif
GT: ok uve successfully guiltripped me
GT: ill go talk to him
GG: 3D
GT: ygh get that smugness out of here, ill do it later
GG: what
GG: you live in the same hive you can just go to the next room over and talk to him
GT: exxuse you that room is under water
GG: you know how to swim
GT: you know what, i dont need this kind of attktude from you
GT: ill just go dronw on the ool bye
GG: cowardddd
GT: *underwater gurgling*
GG: your phone isn't waterproof
GT: * underwaer flips u off*

-- graveTremor [GT] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 21:27! --

____

-- graveTremor [GT] began trolling tintedGaze [TG] at 21:30! --

GT: where u at?
TG: Downstairs
GT: could u come up here?
TG: Is there something wrong?
GT: yeah
TG: Give me a minute

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling graveTremor [GT] at 21:32! --

___

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 21:32! --

TG: Ed I swear to GLUB if you set this up I'm going to bite off your fingers
GG: hey I need those to draw
GG: and also set what up
TG: I'm onto you, buster!

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 21:34!

-- tintedGaze [TG] began trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 02:11! --

TG: ED!!!!! YOU NEED TO STOP!!! MEDDLING!!!
GG: yeauch who hurt you
TG: NOBODY!!
TG: You're just embarrassing!!!
GG: ????
GG: what happened
TG: Nothing! Nothing happened and nobody else can tell you otherwise UNLESS YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS WITH HIM
GG: him
gildedGallery [GG] sent file trolltherockrisedeyebrow.jpg
TG: THEM
TG: IT DOESN'T MATTER
TG: I HAVE OTHER, MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO TEND TO
TG: GOODBYE

-- tintedGaze [TG] ceased trolling gildedGallery [GG] at 02:19! --

____

-- gildedGallery [GG] began trolling graveTremor [GT] at 2:20! --

GG: dude
GG: what's up with mat
GG: he just screamed at me to stop meddling and left
GG: did you talk things out
GG: did something happen between you
GG: oh no he was right
GG: I'm coping with tord's impromptu vacation by becoming a gossip
GT: migraine happened
GT: fuck sugar crashes
GG: aw come on I told you to drink water
GT: let me put on the screen reader hold on
GT: at least with your quick I can try to use the screen reader because with a mess sometimes
GT: also have fun with have fun with the speech to text
GG: you know what maybe this conversation can wait after all
GT: No no why are you talking about
GT: oh gladly tell you the school
GT: haha it's cool
GT: haha scoop
GG: are we really doing this
GT: everything feels like mystery mystery miserable mystery Missy mystery me sorry mystery me three miserable myster y f***
gildedGallery [GG] sent file headinhands.png
GT: Yes little bit D the thing is nothing really happened
GT: I told him to come up then I say s*** man stop worrying over nothing and you don't need to think so much like move on I'm seriously move on and then we I don't know I play a couple songs in the face base my base bus base I'm going to murder you
GG: why are you even using the speech-to-text if you're reading everything????
GT: listen Ed I'm committed to the beat now
GT: so anyways so anyways we baked some cookies book new ones because those were inevitable I swear we will make cookies one day good ones we watched movie and then I bust out
GG: ????
GT: passed up
GT: bust out
GG: I get it you passed out
GT: passed out
GG: this is horrible never do this again
GT: I make a having this impact
GT: in fact
GT: I won't stop until you tell me about the blackmail you have on me
GG: oh absolutely not
GG: that is my hidden ace
GG: in fact
GG: I will make a counter threat
GG: if you keep this up I'm also giving it to tord
GT: f****** dammit please be there there please be back there that ain't what I said f*** this be like gone beating up that hurts bad bad that please please die come on
GT: v e d h
GT: please be b e a t h
GT: I mean please be d e a d
GT: let's f****** go
GG: deals off I'm giving it to him whether you want it or not
GT: world it
GT: wordy
GT: worth
GT: word it

-- gildedGallery [GG] ceased trolling graveTremor [GT] at 02:56! --