Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mary-Jane Watson & Harry Osborn

5th June 2020, 10:54 AM

Harry : Did you get any news ?

Mary-Jane : Still nothing

Mary-Jane : But I'm confident

Mary-Jane : It's peter, right ?

Harry : Should we get him out of the city ?

Mary-Jane : Pretty sure that would wake him up

Harry : Fair enough

Mary-Jane : Can I ask you a favour

Harry : Anything

Mary-Jane : If I drop by to give you Peter's phone could you find a way to unlock it ?

Harry : What ?

Harry : I mean, I assumed you knew Peter's code but why do you need it unlocked

Mary-Jane : Yeah I know Peter's code but I meant spidey's phone

Harry : I know you MJ

Harry : You're gonna do something reckless

Mary-Jane : No I leave that to peter

Mary-Jane : Pete was in a rush to get this whole thing over with, I'm worried it'll be too late by the time he wakes up and gets back on his feet

Mary-Jane : I need to know what he was after and how I can send what he gathered to people Peter trusts

Harry : Oh

Harry : That's actually reasonable

Harry : Don't move though, I'm on my way

Mary-Jane : Don't text and drive

Mary-Jane : I don't want you coming to the hospital the hard way

NYC's finest (the real ones)

6th June 2020, 5:01 PM

Spider-Vanilla : Gotta be honest this is not what I expected a vigilante groupchat to look like

Cindyrella : who the fuck are you and why do you have peter's phone ?

Spider-Vanilla : Sorry

Spider-Vanilla : I'm Peter's girlfriend I'll lock the phone again as soon as I'm done here

Not the dead one : MJ ?

Spider-Vanilla : Oh Gwen, i'm sorry we didn't get to meet

Not the dead one : how do we know it's you ?

Spider-Vanilla : fair enough

Spider-Vanilla sent a picture. The picture is a selfie showing Mary-Jane sitting next to Peter Parker's hospital bed.

Illegally blonde : how's our boy ?

Spider-Vanilla : Oh hi Wade

Spider-Vanilla : Not great, ngl

Cindyrella : what happened ?

Spider-Vanilla : I don't really know, that's why I'm here actually

Spider-Vanilla : Peter was onto something but, you know

Spider-Vanilla : So I'm sending you guys everything I could find on what he was working on

Spider-Vanilla : I know you guys are busy but I don't know when Peter will wake up

Spider-Vanilla : Usually I know he'd trust Miles to finish the job but he didn't tell him anything and I think he wanted to protect him

I am not Murderdock : We got it, don't worry

Not the dead one : since one of my professors is in the hospital rn I should be able to find time for that

Cindyrella : of course we'll help

Illegally Blonde : anything for you guys

Spider-Vanilla : Thank you so much

Spider-Vanilla : Gotta go the doctor's coming

Spider-Vanilla : Good luck guys, be careful

Cindyrella : his healing factor is gonna do the job, right ?

Illegally blonde : cmon it's peter

Illegally blonde : death doesn't want him

I am not Murderdock : Yeah

I am not Murderdock : And when you're a vigilante in NYC a coma is your best chance of getting some good sleep

Not the dead one : that's horrifying actually

Not the dead one : and not even true since i read somewhere that coma doesn't actually count as sleep for your body

I am not Murderdock : Explains a lot about me then

Cindyrella : bitch better survive

Not the dead one : he sure does

Chapter Text

NYC's finest (the real ones)

7th June 2020, 11:53 PM

Not the dead one : tailing is the worst someone end my life rn

I am not Murderdock : Tailing is the best how dare you

I am not Murderdock : Standing in the shadow

I am not Murderdock : Lurking

I am not Murderdock : The tension

Not the dead one : my brother in christ i'm 22 and getting arthritis in my knees squatting on a roof and watching some dude eat a taco

Illegally blonde : don't say that, NYC's roofs are Matty's territory

Not the dead one : he's so catholic he grew into a gargoyle

I am not Murderdock : Why am I even talking to you people

Not the dead one : you needed someone to go to the MCR's reunion concert and I'm the nearest emo

Illegally blonde : unfair I wanted to go too

I am not Murderdock : no

Not the dead one : no

Illegally blonde : :(

Cindyrella : everyone stop being mean to Wade

Cindyrella : We'll go see Taylor Swift don't worry ❤️

Illegally Blonde : You're my favourite ❤️

Pr. Parker's school for special children

8th June 2020, 11:23 AM

The smart kid : @ the artsy kid

The smart kid : Miles ?

The emo kid : is everything alright ?

The smart kid : Miles won't answer his phone

The emo kid : oh shit

The emo kid : since when ?

The smart kid : he started acting weird when Peter got hurt

The emo kid : did he know anything about what peter was doing ?

The smart kid : I don't think so

The smart kid : my mom's calling, gotta go

The emo kid : okay

The emo kid : take care of yourself Kamala

The smart kid : 💜

NYC's finest (the real ones)

8th June 2020, 12:01

Not the dead one : did any of you see miles lately ?

Cindyrella : not since the last time vampires tried to genocide us

I am not Murderdock : Not since what now ?

Cindyrella : love that we're never gonna explain what happened

Cindyrella : should we be worried ?

Not the dead one : idk, ms marvel is

Cindyrella : gonna ask people at the bugle, JJJ always makes us keep an eye out for spiders

Not the dead one : how come you're the only spider he likes ???

Cindyrella : I'm cooler ❤️

Not the dead one : keep me posted

Cindyrella : sure

JJJ's occasional casualties

8th June 2020, 12:13

Token bisexual : guys

Token bisexual : did the bugle get any recent spider-man stories ?

Sword lesbian : Not really

Sword lesbian : Not since Spidey got badly beaten up the other day

Token bisexual : how about the other spidey ?

Sword lesbian : the young one ? Yeah we got a couple of pictures but nothing crazy

Archer lesbian : Is everything alright ?

Token bisexual : I don't know

Archer lesbian : what happened to spidey ?

Token bisexual : don't know either, we're working on it

Sword lesbian : We ? Is Silk getting ready for a new team-up ?

Archer lesbian : JJJ would be ecstatic

Token bisexual : well technically I guess ?

Token bisexual : someone who knows Spidey outside the costume asked us to continue while he rests

Token bisexual : and someone in the "us" is asking about the younger spidey

Sword lesbian : It's actually nice to know you guys aren't alone

Archer lesbian : could we do that ? Like

Archer lesbian : it happened before

Archer lesbian : we don't see you during days and don't know what happened

Token bisexual : i'm sorry

Token bisexual : I don't know

Sword lesbian : We'll keep an eye out for spider-man

Token bisexual : thanks ❤️

NYC's finest (the real ones)

9th June 2020, 11:23 PM

Illegally blonde : do you know how hard it is to not kill someone out of respect for peter ?

Illegally blonde : cause I'm losing my mind rn

Not the dead one : yeah it sucks

Cindyrella : always knew Gwen had murderous intents

Illegally blonde : gwen ?? Our gwenny ????

Not the dead one : I tried to kill the other Murdock

I am not Murderdock : not me

Illegally blonde : very helpful nickname

Not the dead one : but didn't out of respect for my peter's memory

Illegally blonde : fuck parker for being a moral party pooper

Cindyrella : he's in a coma

Illegally blonde : so what ??? i've been in one too he's not special

I am not murderdock : not just one

Not the dead on e : maybe he could stop Wade from killing people if he fucking woke up

Cindyrella : i'm so tired of you guys

Cindyrella : how did your mission go wade ?

Illegally blonde : 0 murder

Illegally blonde : and I have a lead

Cindyrella : why didn't you lead with that ??

Illegally blonde : because I really wanted to complain and I didn't want your positive attitude to ruin that for me

I am not murderdock : ain't that relatable

Not the dead one : sometimes you just need to be pathetic

Cindyrella : One day I'll be taking all of you guys on a field trip to therapy

Not the dead one : did that in prison, it sucked, fuck therapy

Cindyrella : you went to prison ????

Not the dead one : yeah ?

Not the dead one : why did you think I wasn't around for a year ?

Cindyrella : I just thought you hated me and were ghosting me

Illegally blonde : you are *ghost* - spider

I am not Murderdock : I don't need therapy I go to church

Illegally blonde : sweet little red

Illegally blonde : this mindset is exactly why this country is so fucked

I am not Murderdock : I have a good priest though

Illegally blonde : you have a good father ?? couldn't be me

Cindyrella : I both want to hug and high five you rn

Illegally blonde : hug five

Not the dead one : the only good priest is father Brah

Cindyrella : PREACH

Illegally Blonde : That's literally what he does my sister

I am not Murderdock : You're all going to hell

Illegally blonde : Are you saying that cause we're QUEER 🙄🙄

Cindyrella : In the middle of pride month ?? Really man ??

I am not Murderdock : I'm allowed to a little queerphobia as self-hate

Not the dead one : how catholic of you

I am not Murderdock : Anyway we got sidetracked here

I am not Murderdock : Wade, your lead ?

Illegally blonde : oh right

Illegally blonde : well it's a place to infiltrate so i'll send Cindy and Gwen the details

Illegally blonde : they're the best equipped for that

I am not Murderdock : I feel useless here

Illegally blonde : you're never useless Matty because during all the time of my mission it was the picture of your face that kept me going ❤️

I am not murderdock : I despise you ❤️

Cindyrella : are they flirting ?

Not the dead one : i don't want to think about it