Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first thing that pops in her head isn’t how she wants to cry, or scream, or throw things, or even wake them up. The first thing that pops in her head is acceptance.

Ahh. Of course. I already knew this.

And she did know. She’d known for a long time but she never acknowledged it. Or rather, maybe she refused to acknowledge it. Pretended she couldn’t see it happening right in front of her. The unabashed attitude of theirs, following no moral compass of any kind. She had willingly deluded herself.

I’m the Three Wise Monkeys in human form.

She didn’t see, hear or speak. Refused it. Rejected all those thoughts and moments that spoke out in protest to her. And now all she had left was…

She quietly closed the bedroom door and left the apartment. She pulled her phone out as she sat in her car and texted him saying that she’d wanted to come by to bring him breakfast but hadn’t been able to and that she was very sorry but loved him.

She pulled out of the parking spot, and glanced at the bag of food in the passenger seat. She sighed as she sent out one more text.

—

When she knocked on the door Sasuke opened it, glanced at the bag in her hand and then looked at her face. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

“Hungry?”

“Mm.”

She followed him in his house, putting the bag on the table and getting utensils from the drawers. He put his laptop on the table next to her seat.

“There’s some new songs for you to listen to. Or if you need we can write a new one.”

“How long did you know?” She mumbled as she sat down.

“Huh?” He looked up as he sat across from her. She glanced up and then back at the bag as she remained silent.

“Ah,” he said. “Since the beginning. We both knew.”

She sat there, quietly watching him grab the plate that she’d originally gotten for Naruto, then opened her own meal as she mumbled out a “Ah,” and slowly ate.

—

Two hours later her phone rang and she didn’t have to look to know who it was. She let it ring through the first time, and then the second time he called she answered, sitting on the couch next to Sasuke, lifting her legs up to hug them to her chest.

“Hinata! Sorry, I just woke up a bit ago! When did you get home? Wanna go have lunch instead?”

She looked at the screen, his smiling face glowing. “Sorry Naruto, I ended up working last minute.” She panned the screen so he could see Sasuke who nodded at the phone.

“Teme! What are you doing with Hinata!”

“Working, Dobe. What’s it look like?”

“You better be nice to her! Don’t make her work too much!”

Sasuke’s fingers stopped typing as he turned to fully look this time. “I am nice. Sometimes I’m the only one.” A few seconds later he turned back to his laptop, ignoring the two.

Naruto cleared his throat, but Hinata ignored him to keep staring at Sasuke, resting her cheek on her knees.

“Umm, Hinata?” Naruto cleared his throat again, “Did you come by… earlier?”

“Hm?” Hinata didn’t even look at him.

“Well, the neighbor said she thought she saw you earlier this morning, so… I was wondering… if you came by…”

Sasuke glanced up at Hinata, the screen tilted away so Naruto couldn’t see the exchange. They stared at each other for a few moments before Naruto called her name again.

She turned her head to the phone and smiled, eyes closed, “No, I didn’t come home today.”

—

“You lied.”

“Mm.”

“And he believed you.”

“Mm.”

“Cause you don’t lie.”

“Lying is pointless.”

“So why’d you lie.”

Silence. A look. And then, “I don’t know.”

—

Hinata doesn’t know why she never confronts Naruto or Sakura. When she thinks about it she doesn’t know why Sasuke’s never confronted them either. She asked once and Sasuke said that he didn’t love Sakura enough to care. They’d been friends for so long that when she’d confessed he felt bad so he agreed to go out.

He no longer felt bad, but no longer cared either way too. Sakura instigated everything in their relationship and he went along with it because it was easier and also a good buffer for other girls to stay away from him.

Sasuke and Hinata hung out so often now that he didn’t need his main buffer any longer.

—

Hinata asked herself a few times why she didn’t at least break up with Naruto. Maybe she wanted to be petty and hurt him like she felt she should’ve been hurt. Or maybe she wanted to hurt Sakura like best friends aren’t supposed to.

‘Or maybe’ she finally thinks when her and Sasuke fall into bed the first time ‘we deserve each other.’ She eventually decides that Naruto and her are each other’s penance, never to feel full peace with or without the other.

—

Sasuke enjoys sex with her the way that he’s never enjoyed it with Sakura, and she also enjoys it with him the way that she no longer enjoys it with Naruto. They learn each other intimately in ways that their partners don’t understand.

Naruto notices that Hinata’s not as loving as she was before and she says that she’s busy working. Sakura asks Sasuke and he just ignores her.

—

That year their new album comes out, the rest of the band not quite understanding but also not questioning. The title is The Night Whispers the Truth and it tops the charts. It flies (metaphorically) off the shelves, and the #1 song for almost a full month is the one they co-wrote, and Hinata even featured on, called They Know Even If They Don’t.

Naruto asks her once, about three days after it’s released, how Sasuke and her had gotten inspiration for the song, and rest of the album as well.

She looks at his face, pale and hesitant, uncomfortably prepared but scared at the same time.

She smiles (it no longer reaches her eyes) and says, “It came from a dream.”

—

Sakura and Hinata have a regular lunch every Thursday, occasionally Ino, Ten-Ten, and Temari  will join them, but it’s always the two.

After the song is released Sakura cancels for the next two weeks, telling her that she’s not feeling well. Sasuke confirms that he’s also being avoided with the same excuse. Eventually (after she knows Naruto and Sakura meet up for a few days) Sakura meets up with her saying that she’s just had a very long and painful period and didn’t want to be a downer.

Hinata smiles(at this point it’s all teeth around the two) and just accepts the answer.

—

It’s been almost a year since this arrangement has begun, and Sasuke and her are quite content. They hardly ever get intimate with their respective partners, but are constantly exploring with each other. Naruto and Sakura aren’t very happy, (with them or each other they don’t really know) but have accepted that they’re tired and busy with work.

But then it starts changing.

They’ve finished one night, relaxing in the others arms, when Hinata mumbles, “Naruto mentioned that he’s thinking of asking me to marry him.”

She feels Sasuke tense, and wonders if it’s because of Naruto or because of her. “Mm,” he acknowledges.

“I don’t know if I should say yes.”

“Do you want to?”

She shrugs, playing with his fingers in her hand. “I did before. Maybe I would’ve happily gone along with it if I hadn’t seen anything.”

“But you no longer do.” A statement, not a question.

She sighs. A minute passes with her processing her thoughts. Sasuke never pushes her, just waits patiently. “…it’s become expected. One day I’ll marry Naruto, and one day you’ll marry Sakura. There’s no other path.”

Sasuke doesn’t say anything for a long time. Eventually he rubs his face on her hair, and caresses her throat and breast. “Hmm,” he acknowledges.

—

Sakura calls her at three in the morning two days later. Naruto grumbles as she sleepily gets out of the bed to answer. As soon as the line connects all she hears are sobs and Naruto looks up, worry in his eyes. She may believe them to be traitors but they were friends first and she does care about them.

“What happened? Do you need us to come get you?”

Incoherente sobs, but she finally gets out what happened.

“He! He dumped me, Hina! He dumped me! I don’t know why!”

Hinata turns wide eyes to look at Naruto who is looking at her, bewildered. “What is it?”

She lowers her hand, the cries coming through the speakers loud enough to spread in the entire room. “Sasuke just dumped Sakura.”

—

Hinata heads out to pick up Sakura while Naruto calls Sasuke. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Sakura so disheveled, and feels sorry for her. Part of her believes that she deserves this and more, but the kind and loving part of her that genuinely misses Sakura wishes she was ok.

They end up at Denny’s, no one even bats an eye at a girl with a face of ruined makeup and a nightclub dress, and another girl with bed head and pajamas.

Sakura sniffles every once in a while, and Hinata let’s her be until she’s ready to talk.

They’re halfway through their meal before Sakura finally speaks.

“He said he doesn’t love me.”

Hinata glanced up. Sakura ate a pancake and half an egg. Better than nothing she thinks. “He doesn’t?”

Sakura takes a napkin and blows her nose. “That’s what he said. He said he didn’t know if he ever really did.”

Hinata winced. That was pretty mean, but she didn’t blame him.

“I’m sorry.”

Sakura huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Me too.” Silence, a few more bites, and then she says, “I asked him if he was in love with someone else and he didn’t say a word.”

This made Hinata’s eyes widen. “He didn’t deny it?”

Sakura shook her head. “He doesn’t lie, so if he doesn’t want to admit it’s true he usually doesn’t say anything. He’s just seemed so distant lately, and I couldn’t stop myself!” She looked up at Hinata, eyes wide with tears and red. “I don’t even know who it is! All he does is work with you and the band, and stay home! He’s famous but doesn’t even go anywhere!” She burst into tears once again.

Hinata frowned down at her eggs, poking it with her fork. The only person Sasuke spent time with was her, but he pretty much admitted to Sakura that he was genuinely in love with someone else.

Is it me?

—

Hinata set up the couch for Sakura to sleep on, putting some Tylenol and water on the table for when she’d wake up the next morning. She looked in the bedroom and saw that Naruto was still out. She sighed and sat down on the bed wondering if she should call Sasuke or Naruto.

Her phone rang, deciding for her, and saw her boyfriends name light up.

“Hey. She’s here. We just got back from getting some food and she fell asleep. What happened with you?”

“That bastard said he dumped her because he never loved her. He apparently fell in love with someone else and decided he was done pretending.”

Same story she thinks to herself, but then says, “That’s what Sakura said too. She said she has no idea who it could be, but she’s pretty devastated about it.”

Naruto sighs on the phone, “Yeah. Sasuke didn’t tell me anything about who it is. Maybe it’s someone I don’t even know. Him and I almost never hang out anymore.” Then he huffs out a laugh, “Hell, you probably know him better at this point than any of us do.”

Silence. She looks at the phone.

“Say,” he’s quiet, “what do you guys do when you hang out?”

She puts her chin in the palm of her other hand. “We work all the time. He’s constantly writing music while I find the words to match it. I don’t think I’ve seen him hang out with anyone other than the band and I.”

“Ah,” Naruto says. “No one else hangs out with you guys?”

“No,” Hinata shakes her head. “It’s usually just Sasuke and I, and sometimes Nii-San or Ten-Chan will come by. Occasionally Lee-San or Shino-Kun might come but that’s rare. They usually email us how they’re doing until they come to the house to finally put it all together. It’s usually pretty mellow.”

Naruto hums on the phone. “Well, if you don’t know who it is then we may never find out. I’ll be home soon, love you.”

“Yeah, you too,” she says as she hangs up.

He knows even when he doesn’t she thinks to herself, laughing at how the title had truly fit.

—

Hinata opens the door to Sasuke’s house the next morning, using the key she’d eventually just taken from him.

He looked up at her from his kitchen table, eyebrow quirked. “If you didn’t want me to have it I would never have been able to get it.” She says with a small smile.

He just lets out a hmm and says nothing, turning back to his paper.

“Sakura ended up staying with us last night,” she says, watching his face as she sits down.

He says nothing.

“She told me what happened. Naruto said he talked to you as well.”

“He came by, pounding on my door. It’s a good thing my neighbors are far down the road.”

She lets out a quick laugh, then shushes herself. “They both said that you broke up with her because you’re in love with someone else.”

He quickly glances up at her before turning back to his paper. “It’s not the reason.”

She folds her arms and rests her head on them, staring up at Sasuke from the table. “Mmm,” she acknowledges. “If that’s what you’ve decided.”

He puts the paper down to fully look at her. “I broke up with Sakura.”

“Yes.”

“She asked if I was in love with someone else.”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t deny it.”

“Yes.”

She pulls her head back up to level with him. He puts his hand on hers, and doesn’t look up. She looks down as well.

“I think…,” she finally begins, “I’m too broken for love.”

He’s silent for a long time. She almost expects him to stand up and leave, before he finally puts his other hand on her other hand, unclenching the fist that was slowly forming. “I think,” he quietly says, “that love is patient.”

She doesn’t say a word, but she feels a few tears fall on her cheeks, and then Sasuke’s hand follows the path to erase it. She follows him to his room, but this morning they don’t have sex. They just lay there, looking for comfort.

—

Sakura stays at their apartment for a week before she decides to go back home. She laughs about how it was a good thing that Sasuke didn’t let her move in so that she wouldn’t have to worry about moving back out.

Hinata knows personally that Sakura doesn’t need to go back to Sasuke’s house to grab anything of hers too, having not seen a single thing there in months. Rather it seems like Hinata’s lived there more than her friend, which both upsets Hinata and puffs her up with pride.

Naruto seems closed off a bit since their conversation over the phone. Hinata knows why, and wonders if he’s starting to understand what’s been happening right in front of his eyes, but she doesn’t start the conversation. She’s waiting to see what he does, and as she expects he doesn’t do anything.

Maybe she was right and they’re more alike than she hoped. Both of them know the truth but neither of them want to say it (or maybe it’s that she’s being vindictive, whether to him or herself she doesn’t know any longer), and there’s this invisible bridge that they haven’t been able to cross since then.

Hinata has stayed over at Sasuke’s more often then she already did, and Naruto would just hesitantly ask what she was going to do with him. Her answer was always work, and he always glanced away.

Sakura started trying to spend more time with Hinata as well. She assumed that Naruto had told her his assumptions because Sakura also would ask what she planned on doing and how Sasuke was and did she see anyone else coming over that was new(Sakura would always glance away for a few moments before looking back at Hinata, eyes hopeful for something that Hinata couldn’t name)?

Hinata always seemed to squash her dreams (or maybe the opposite? She couldn’t tell) and she’d become quiet and demure for the rest of the visit.

She eventually told Sasuke about it and he didn’t care. She hadn’t expected him to, but was curious his opinion.

—

“She’s always asking about you.”

“Mm.”

“And what I’m doing with you.”

“Working.”

“That’s what I said, but she doesn’t seem to believe me. Naruto too.”

“Mm.”

“Yeah, I figured. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No.”

“Then do whatever you want.”

“Ok.”

—

Naruto asks her one morning. Sakura had come over to make them breakfast for some reason ( this is the reason Hinata thinks) and Naruto had gotten on one knee in the middle of the kitchen.

Hinata did think about how romantic it seemed, but also how much more romantic it would’ve been if Sakura hadn’t have been there. She may have been behind her but Hinata could feel the pressure growing.

Is this their way of breaking us up? She wonders.

—

She comes over the next day, brand new ring on her middle finger. He glances down.

“He asked me yesterday.”

“Ah.”

“Sakura was there. She’d made us breakfast for no reason.”

“Ah.”

“It’s the wrong size too.” She lifts her hand up to look at it. “It’s got diamonds.”

“You don’t like diamonds.”

“No I don’t.” She agrees.

—

A week later she comes, the ring on the correct finger this time, when she sees a box on the table in front of her seat. She sits, looking at him. He keeps reading his paper and doesn’t acknowledge her at all, and she looks back at the box.

When she opens it her breath catches. The ring is beautiful. The center stone a lavender quartz, cut into an oval, and small circle almandine garnets surrounding it. The band is simple, and there’s nothing ostentatious on it. It’s just simply a band full of feeling.

She rips off the atrocity that’s on her hand, and immediately puts the new one on her ring finger. Perfect fit she thinks. She brings her hand to her mouth, closing her other hand protectively around it, as she smiles.

She looks back up, and Sasuke’s face is impassive as always, but his ear tips are a bright red. She feels herself blushing but she can’t help but smile.

The rest of the day goes by filled with nothing but joy.

—

She obviously cannot wear the ring outside, so she keeps it safe in the box, putting it on the bookshelf every evening when she leaves, and exchanges it every morning when she comes.

Then a mistake happens.

—

It’d been pouring and both are hesitant for Hinata to drive home. For both the reason that they want to spend more time together and also that the rain is getting more intense every second that passes.

Hinata FaceTimes Naruto to say goodnight and he’s overjoyed to see her until she tucks her hair behind her ear.

“The rain is crazy so Sasuke said he’ll set up the guest room for me,” she says. She’s thinking she’ll get a haircut soon as she keeps pushing it out of her face. Naruto doesn’t respond and she looks back at the screen.

His face is white, ashen really, and his mouth is in a tight line. His eyes are narrowed, and he looks like he sucked on something sour.

“Naruto, are you ok?” Sasuke looks at the screen as well. He notices the path of Naruto’s eyes and sees what he’d been staring at. Hinata doesn’t notice but Naruto and Sasuke look at each other, eye to eye, face to face, and something in their relationship snaps and their friendship is forever changed.

Sasuke stares at him, face impassive, eyes unmoving, daring him. Naruto looks away first, looking back after a moment, but ultimately realizes his defeat.

(Sasuke will always think of this as the moment when he knows he’s truly won. Hinata never learns of their exchange, and Sasuke always respects him for this at least.)

Naruto coughs, and smooths his face out. “No, I’m ok. Maybe I’m just cold. Be safe, thanks Teme for looking out for her.” Sasuke hmm ’s and gives a nod while Hinata looks at the screen curiously.

“Be careful Naruto, don’t get sick,” she says. He nods his head.

“…Hinata?” He says hesitantly.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“Hmm, I know. Goodnight.”

The screen turns black and Hinata looks at Sasuke curiously. He doesn’t say a word, just glances down and her eyes follow his.

“Oh,” she says. Her finger is shining brightly.

“Hmm,” he agrees.

“Well,” she says, “maybe I should make the change permanent?”

His eyes immediately look at hers. She’s smiling, eyes twinkling. “I don’t know if I’m ready to say it to you yet, or honestly if I’ll ever be, but I do know you make me the happiest I am.”

He feels his face turn hot and he glances away. She laughs, proud at finally making him properly blush.  They celebrate that evening, sharing a bed together just like they knew they would.

—

Naruto is the easiest to tell. She goes home ( but it’s not home anymore, is it?) the next morning, Sasuke’s ring on her finger, and enters the door. Naruto’s sitting at the table, waiting. He looks up at her, quiet.

“Hi,” he says. She nods in acknowledgement. He folds his hands on the table, unsure of what to say.

She takes pity on him. “Here you go,” she passes him the box. She doesn’t need an empty box anymore, and he doesn’t need the pointless ring. But she’s not feeling charitable and he knows that.

“Your song was a hint, wasn’t it?” He mumbles.

She sighs, “Not really. To be honest, at that point we didn’t care anymore.”

He looks up at her. “At that point?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “It took at least six months for us to write the album. What do you expect?”

His face falls, and she remembers how that puppy look once made her knees weak.

“Six months…,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, at least.”

There’s silence for a while, and she wonders what he’s going to say next.

“…did you love me?”

She looks at him, partly in awe of his callousness and partly incredulous. “Once. A long time ago.”

He nods. “I know. I love you.”

She tilts her head, wondering how he thought this conversation was going to end. “Maybe you did. But that was before. Remember Naruto,” she leans in, forcing him to look at her, “you decided how this relationship was going to end.”

His eyes filled with tears. She sighs and stands up. “I’ll let you have some time before I come to get my stuff. I’ll pay my share of the bills for a couple more months so you can decide what you want to do. Goodbye, Naruto.”

And she sweeps out of his life, just as easily as she’d swept into it.

—

Sasuke decides he doesn’t want to talk to Naruto, knowing that it wouldn’t end well on either side. Their friendship is probably over, and he doesn’t care that much to be honest. If he really thinks about it, it’s been over since the moment he told Sakura he’d go out with her.

How funny he thinks that the girl who helped us become friends is the reason we stopped being friends.

He mourns the friendship for a moment, then goes back to bedroom, choosing to spend his time with Hinata.

—

Sasuke offers to talk to Sakura, but Hinata decides she can do it. She’s not worried about a fight happening, or anything ridiculous like that, but she is expecting some yelling and maybe a few things being thrown (but not at her).

What she doesn’t expect is the ice cold reception.

“You took him from me.”

Hinata sighs, glad they did this in a public restaurant, where there’s witnesses. “You gave him away.”

Sakura scowls at her. “You both lied to me.”

“I think you started the trend yourself.”

Sakura reared back like she’d been slapped. “How dare you,” she breathed out at her, voice low and angry.

Hinata sat back herself, wondering if maybe they actually were going to fight. Pity , she thought to herself, I like this shirt. I’ll be sad if it rips. “I’d like to remind you that you decided to seduce a taken man, while you yourself were taken as well.”

Sakura didn’t respond, she just pressed her lips together.

Hinata sighed as she rubbed her face. “I loved you Sakura. I loved you and Naruto, and even Sasuke although I didn’t know him as well. You all were precious to me. And you,” she pointed at her, “spit it back in my face. I would never have gone out with Naruto if I’d known you liked him. I loved you the most. You were my best friend.”

Hinata could feel her eyes start to fill with tears. She forced herself to hold them back, refusing to show how much Sakura had hurt her. “You were my one true person. I would’ve done anything for you. But now,” she paused and looked at her drink. She stirred the coffee as she thought out her words.

“Now,” she said again, “I realized I also love myself. So this is goodbye.”

She got up, put a $10 on the table and looked at Sakura one last time. “I’ll always love you, Sakura. I’ve just decided to love myself more.”

Sakura stared at Hinata’s back, refusing to let the tears fall, refusing to accept her role in destroying the friendship. She refused.

—

It was easy to move in. Hinata felt like it had always been this way, the only difference was the title. She no longer was girlfriend-turned-fiancé. Now she was wife.

They’d had a short ceremony, deciding to keep it a quiet affair, away from most people and the press. Her parents and sister had been there, his parents and brother also.

When they’d had a housewarming party with their immediate family, it’d also been a surprised marriage celebration for many. She laughed as she remembered Neji-Nii-San trying to give a stoic faced Sasuke the shovel talk. And he’d been just as amused as Itachi-Nii-San had interrogated Hinata about her intentions with his famous little brother (he’d never told his family who the lyricist was for their band, it was entertaining seeing them find out).

—

Hinata finished cooking breakfast, her pajamas ruffled from a morning go-round before. She smiled as she looked at her finger again. It’d been perfect, a perfect mix of both their eye colors.

He sat at the table, reading his paper, and glanced at her as she placed the food on the table.

“The new album is doing well,” he said.

“Mm,” she agreed.

“Apparently people love the drastic change in tone from the last one.”

“Really?” She smiled as she ate a few bites.

He folded the paper and put it down, his own band twinkling in the sunlight. “They say this one is the perfect end to a heartbreak.”

“Ah?”

“Yes,” he says. “Heartbreaks can heal. And love can patiently wait for it.”

“Hmm,” she smiles.