Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yue Qingyuan is almost done with his morning exercises, circulating his Qi and mentally repeating the mantras Mu-shidi had selected for him for their effectiveness against the brand of Heart Demons he has... when Liu Qingge comes stomping into his meditation garden. 

"Morning, Liu-shidi," Yue Qingyuan greets him, eyeing the open expanse of the mountain range before them and letting the Qi settle within him.

The morning cultivation settles him in a way it didn't use to. Part of it is that at Shen Qingqiu's advice - insistence - he'd moved his meditation from indoors to the outside, and part of it is undoubtedly an ingrained habit. The new cultivation method has become simply part of the routine, and not one he no longer finds shamefully awkward or embarrassing - it's merely part of his morning rituals now.

The sight of Qing Jing Peak below is soothing, too.

Behind him Liu Qingge waits until he finishes, until he stands up. Then he says, simply, "I want to go to Bai Lu mountain."

This, again.

"Liu-shidi…"

"There's been no Endless Abyss sightings, and trying to find a rift through the demon realm would take months, if not years," Liu Qingge says harshly. "Chances of us finding Luo Binghe go down every day. Maybe, if we had Heavenly Demon remains to work with, Ran Qingnan could create us a portal, or at least some assistance with a method of tracking - even knowing for sure whether Luo Binghe is dead or alive would go a long way. But we need Tianlang-jun's remains."

Yue Qingyuan releases a sigh. He'd been telling Liu Qingge no ever since the man found out about Tianlang-jun's existence. He's only grown more insistent ever since Luo Binghe was revealed to be a demon.

"As I have already told you, the ramifications of Cang Qiong -"

Liu Qingge releases a frustrated noise. "So change the ramifications! Paint it as us checking up on the seal, making sure nothing has happened - someone should check it, right? We're just making sure Tianlang-jun's dead, really. How's that suspicious?"

"Because we aren't the only ones who know the uses for a Heavenly Demon's remains," Yue Qingyuan says, uncomfortable, and turns to face him. "When Tianlang-jun was subjugated, the Old Palace Master wanted his arms and legs to be severed and then distributed among the Four Great Sects', so that we all would have a share - just because of the artefacts that cold be wrought from his blood, flesh and bones."

Liu Qingge arches a brow and folds his arms. "It wasn't done, was it?"

"Both I and The Abbot of Zhao Hua Temple disagreed, and the Head of Tian Yi Overlook was uncertain enough that there wasn't a vote," Yue Qingyuan admits. "In the end it was decided that it would be best that no one got Tianlang-jun's remains, or even a part of them - and so he was sealed in full. If now someone takes his remains out with the express desire to make use of them…?" He shakes his head. 

Liu Qingge scoffs. "So because of sect politics you're going to let Shen Qingqiu die?" he demands 

"No, I'm not," Yue Qingyuan sighs. "I'm only saying this isn't the way. There will be another. Ni Qinghe has scryed Luo Binghe's fate, and it's auspicious - so he must still be alive. We have to trust that."

Liu Qingge is clearly unhappy with that, gritting his teeth and looking away, towards Qing Jing Peak. It's a decent distance from Qiong Ding Peak, but they can see the newly cut clearing, the construction that's happening.

Shen Qingqiu is putting his winnings to use, expanding his peak with a brand new lecture hall that will fit all his disciples. He's also, allegedly, adding an artificial hot spring.

"Do you think he's acting weird these days?" Liu Qingge asks. "I don't mean his usual behaviour. Ever since the conference he's been…" he looks for a word, "distracted."

"Mn," Yue Qingyuan agrees. "The rumours must've come as a shock."

Which in and of itself is a little surprising, considering Shen Qingqiu's spy network. From what Yue Qingyuan has seen of it, it mostly deals in rumour and gossip, and so what people had been saying about Shen Qingqiu at the conference surely should've been known to him already. But it caught him by surprise - and it hit him unexpectedly hard.

"Do you think it's true?" Liu Qingge asks.

Yue Qingyuan casts him a look. "You're more familiar with Shen Qingqiu's Qi than I," he comments mildly.

"It's not the same thing," Liu Qingge says. "Some things aren't apparent in that way. And besides, Shen Qingqiu's Qi - it moves weirdly. I thought it was subconscious, something he did as a bad habit. Now I can't help but wonder if it's his nature. Or… training."

Yue Qingyuan swallows his envy. He'd only felt Shen Qingqiu's Qi briefly in their joint cleansing, and it wasn't enough to get a full sense of it - Liu Qingge's Qi had also confused the sensation. So he's forced to ask, "What do you mean?"

Liu Qingge hesitates and then says, quiet and a little uncomfortable, "His Qi gathers around his lower dantian. I think he might be forming a circle around it."

Yue Qingyuan turns to him sharply. "You're certain?"

"Not at all," Liu Qingge scoffs. "I thought it was just a habit, bad Qi circulation, something. Now…" he looks away. "I can't say I know much about Human Cauldrons, but if there was one who - who was good at being one, that's how their Qi would circulate, right? In their lower dantian."

He sounds angry about it, and Yue Qingyuan can't blame him, the very idea makes a cold shiver run up his spine. He thinks of the sheer level of comfort Shen Qingqiu showed in the brothel, how at ease he seemed to be - how different that world seemed - and can't help but wonder.

But why would Shen Qingqiu, a man fiercely protective of his own power, cultivate in a way that… naturally would diminish his power? That's what Dual Cultivation did, isn't it - it took power from the one acting as a cauldron and gave it to the one… blundering said cauldron. Why would Shen Qingqiu do that, when his cultivation was already so damaged in so many ways, first by his poor cultivation methods before joining Cang Qiong Mountain Sect and then by the poison of Without a Cure…?

Surely he wouldn't, not unless there was something to gain from it.

"There must be something we don't know," Yue Qingyuan says uncomfortably. "The obvious answer isn't always the right one."

Liu Qingge gives him a look. "I think the Sympathetic Healing he did was based on Dual Cultivation," he says flatly. "Think about it. The Without a Cure itself, and its actual cure. Why would he know it at all, unless he'd been researching it? And I don't mean the poison. I think he's been looking into Dual Cultivation for a long time."

Yue Qingyuan swallows again and looks away, feeling his ears growing a little red. Usually when people start looking into these things, it's for less than righteous reasons. Demonic cultivators, rogue cultivators, the worst kind of criminals and abusers. If he'd heard those words a few years back in reference to Shen Qingqiu, he would've thought the worst. Even now they make his blood run a little colder.

Shen Qingqiu isn't such an abuser though. The reaction of the girls in Red Lantern alone stood testimony to that. The way they welcomed him, not even as a valued customer and patron… but as one of them.

"I think he's developing a new branch of cultivation in secret," Liu Qingge comments with a scowl. "And now his secret's out. Before he's ready."

It sounds… rather likely, really. Shen Qingqiu's cultivation has always been… difficult. And if he took such an undertaking, he would never tell anyone, especially since the method was clearly unorthodox. Half-formed cultivation is vulnerable just by itself - half-formed cultivation method? Yue Qingyuan can only imagine how bad distractions at such a stage must be, how badly could it go wrong if Shen Qingqiu took a wrong step now…

Or if he was interrupted.

"My cultivation has stalled. I can't move forward currently," Shen Qingqiu said, and the words take on a whole new meaning now.

Liu Qingge looks at him levelly. 

His point is made. Shen Qingqiu's poisoning must be addressed, and the sooner the better.

"... I can't give you official approval," Yue Qingyuan says slowly. "If anyone finds out, for the sake of the sect I must denounce your actions."

"Then I better make sure no one finds out," Liu Qingge says determinedly.

Qing Jing Peak is in a state of disarray with the construction. There's lumber everywhere, sections of the bamboo forest have been cleared out for new structures, and Shen Qingqiu is indeed adding artificial hot springs to his mountain. 

"Why not, since I have the money?" Shen Qingqiu says with a shameless shrug while walking Yue Qingyuan through the construction site. "Ran Qingnan will be doing the seals for us, and the foundation will be laid by An Ding Peak - it will be done in the sections, one for men, one for women, and a private section."

It's unspoken but clear that the private section would be for him. Yue Qingyuan wonders if it's something to help him with his cultivation, certainly a relaxant like that might be useful for such activities - and then resolutely decides not to think about it. 

"You're expanding the Bamboo House as well?" he asks, casting a look towards it.

"Mm," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "I give lessons in the house occasionally, so I'm making more space. Might as well add a few rooms while I am at it."

Yue Qingyuan gives him a curious glance. "Are you putting all your winnings into construction?" The renovations are even more extensive than he'd thought.

"What else? I'm also updating the library and stocking up on materials," Shen Qingqiu admits, looking around, satisfied expression on his face. "I might add a new dorm as well."

"You're thinking of taking on more disciples?"

"Most of my juniors are ready to advance - we need someone around here to do all the menial labour," Shen Qingqiu says with another shrug.

Yue Qingyuan thinks he's learning to hear the things Shen Qingqiu isn't saying now. Though it looks like Shen Qingqiu is flaunting his new fortune, he's putting it all into Qing Jing Peak, expanding and enhancing the place. These are upgrades that would be enjoyed by future generations. And taking on new disciples... Luo Binghe was the last disciple Shen Qingqiu took, and even that was begrudgingly. Was it because he didn't think he could afford it? Perhaps. Qing Jing Peak isn't exactly the best earning among the twelve - that's Bai Zhan, with their market of monster parts.

That the first thing Shen Qingqiu does with an enormous surplus of goods is to invest in a new lecture hall speaks volumes about his priorities. 

"It looks very fine," Yue Qingyuan says smiling. "I look forward to seeing how Qing Jing Peak changes once the renovation is done."

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu agrees and leads him towards a pavilion where his Head Disciple has prepared tea for them. "How are things in Qiong Ding Peak? Do you think you will take on more disciples, next selection?"

"Perhaps," Yue Qingyuan muses. He hadn't since the invasion, but it's been three years - they've mostly recovered from the loss now. "If there are promising candidates."

They talk about the upcoming selection trials while Ming Fan serves them tea, until Shen Qingqiu dismisses the disciple back to the construction work.

"So, did you come here for a social visit or so you have something else on your mind?" Shen Qingqiu asks, examining the teacup. It's not part of the gold-laced set - it's from a light brown set with multi-colored trees painted on them, the autumn tea set.

Yue Qingyuan isn't sure how to broach the subject. He probably shouldn't at all, but these are things that now affect the whole sect, and... as the Sect Leader he should know. "I wished to talk about...  cultivation."

Shen Qingqiu gives him a sideways look. "Mine, I assume."

Yue Qingyuan looks up. "How do you know?"

"You look like you're expecting me to kick you," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "And when it's about yours, you squirm like you have a bellyache. You're embarrassingly easy to read, really."

Yue Qingyuan smiles at that and looks down at his cup - but the pleasure of a shared joke is short-lived, because he has to ask, "How is your cultivation going, Shen-shidi?"

"You know how it is going. It isn't," Shen Qingqiu says, rolling his eyes. "With the way you and Liu-shidi harass me about it, I would expect you to remember. As long as the Without a Cure holds me back, I can't advance."

Nodding, Yue Qingyuan takes a drink and then forces himself to ask, "And the… the physical aspect?"

Shen Qingqiu gives him a confused look.

"You haven't visited a brothel since the conference," Yue Qingyuan points out and with sheer willpower keeps himself from blushing.

Shen Qingqiu frowns. "Zhangmen-shixiong, are you keeping tabs on me?"

"After what we learned, what we heard - I thought it prudent to be more… cautious," Yue Qingyuan admits. With the number of appeals and offers for Shen Qingqiu's services he'd gotten since then… "It's been weeks."

"One would think the Sect Leader would be grateful for this Shidi's careful restraint," Shen Qingqiu says mildly, watching him with some fascination, as though he was a dog performing a new trick.

"While I am grateful Shen-shidi isn't endangering himself needlessly, he shouldn't have to - abstain," Yue Qingyuan says with some difficulty, "from his usual practices."

Shen Qingqiu tilts his head slightly and the sun hits his eyes just so that Yue Qingyuan can see the shadows cast on his irises by his white lashes. "Sect Leader, are you telling me to go to a brothel?" he then asks, sounding enormously amused. "Are you offering to come along again? I didn't realise you developed a taste for it."

Yue Qingyuan sighs. "Please don't make fun, this is difficult enough as it is."

"It's it?" Shen Qingqiu asks, actually smiling, and leans in. "What is so difficult about it, Sect Leader, hm?"

"Shen-shidi…"

"Why the concern, Sect Leader?" Shen Qingqiu asks. "Have there been any complaints about my conduct lately?"

"None whatsoever," Yue Qingyuan says honestly. "But I know, even with things being as they are… some things should be, ah… kept in practice."

Even if Shen Qingqiu can't cultivate safely, that's not all there is to such things. Even outside cultivation, physical practice should always be kept up, for all forms of cultivation can only benefit from a suitably trained and formed body. That's why even in Qing Jing Peak, where they cultivate spiritual techniques, they have their own sword forms. And Shen Qingqiu's new cultivation method undoubtedly requires its… own form of physical training.

Shen Qingqiu is staring at him like he'd grown another head, and with a smothered groan Yue Qingyuan elaborates. "It is our hope that one day your poisoning will no longer be an issue. When that day comes… surely it would be best for Shen-shidi to be in - in good form?"

Now Shen Qingqiu is really looking at him like he'd not only grown another head but a set of horns as well. "Sect Leader, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Yue Qingyuan somehow manages not to smother himself in his own hands. "Please don't make me say it," he says embarrassedly. "I just - I would not wish you to be out of practice. I know I am no expert in such things, but all cultivation takes training. Even - even Dual Cultivating."

Now Shen Qingqiu gets it. For a moment he just gapes at Yue Qingyuan, his face a little pale. Then, with a quiet, "Oh no," he covers his face with both hands. Then he laughs, feeble, a little hysterical. "You know ?"

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat and then says, "Yes," as non-judgmentally as he can.

Shen Qingqiu laughs again, miserable. "You know. You know. How the hell do you know?"

"I - understand I'm the last person you'd want to know, but - Liu-shidi brought it to my attention," Yue Qingyuan says apologetically. "And, with what you know about Heavenly Demons, the cure for your condition…"

"Ah," Shen Qingqiu says and lifts his head. His eyes are a little red and the smile on his face is beautiful and vicious. "So that's it."

Yue Qingyuan gives him a helpless look.

He knows Shen Qingqiu's practices, whatever they might be like in nature, have been going on for a long time. And he knows he doesn't have the right to be jealous, even though their relationship is much better now, it's still not intimate, he has no right to Shen Qingqiu. And still.

Some deranged part of him wants to offer Shen Qingqiu his services. It is a horrible idea in every way - if Shen Qingqiu hadn't glimpsed his own damaged cultivation when he'd helped Liu Qingge clear out his spiritual veins in the conference, then he'd certainly feel it during Dual Cultivation. The act would no doubt damage Yue Qingyuan's cultivation further, too - he doesn't have Shen Qingqiu's experience with such things, so he would undoubtedly leak spiritual essence like a sieve. With Shen Qingqiu unable to properly cultivate, Yue Qingyuan would drive them both into Qi-deviation. What little rapport they have regained would be ruined too.

Even knowing all that, the idea of being used by Shen Qingqiu in such a manner fills Yue Qingyuan with a fierce longing. He has to check his mental restraints, making sure he still has his urges suppressed - without them, he likely would've given into the desperation already.

Yue Qingyuan looks away and wishes, not for the first time, that emotions were as easy to control as physical reactions.

Shen Qingqiu gives him a sympathetic look, like he knows. "Right, well," he says and looks away. "I'm not sure how to manage a visit to a brothel right now. The moment I step down the mountain, someone will undoubtedly make a go at trying to capture me."

He's… not wrong about that.

"Perhaps someone suitable can be invited to visit instead?" Yue Qingyuan offers helplessly.

Shen Qingqiu barks out a laugh. "That'd go down well! Shen Qingqiu invites a prostitute to Qing Jing Peak! Qi Qingqi would never let me hear the end of it. No," he says. "There are other things I can... try while waiting for things to settle. I do need, hm, something."

"What is it?" Yue Qingyuan asks. "Whatever it is, I'll get it for you."

Shen Qingqiu snorts, looking a little scandalised. "Not this time," he says and looks away. "Though if you could deliver a message from me to Madam Jialan, I would appreciate it. I have an order to make."

"Of course, anything you need."

A little later, back in the Bamboo House, Shen Qingqiu writes a letter and seals it tightly before handing it to Yue Qingyuan - along with a small pouch of spirit stones. Clearing his throat, he says, "I don't know how expensive what I want will be, just tell her to get the best she can with this much."

Yue Qingyuan weighs the pouch. There must be over a fifty spirit stones there - barely a pittance compared to the 20000 Shen Qingqiu had won. For a mortal, it is a fortune. "Would you like me to exchange this for gold? It'll likely be easier for her to spend that way." And a little less likely to get her robbed by any passing cultivators.

"If you don't mind," Shen Qingqiu agrees and looks away, a fan coming up to shield his face. "Thank you, Sect Leader."

"It's no problem."

It's a slight problem. Visiting a brothel, even in disguise, doesn't come easily for Yue Qingyuan. Facing the cunning madam of Red Lantern and all her questions is even harder.

"And why didn't our mutual friend come himself?" she asks while taking the letter from his hand.

"There are some security concerns," Yue Qingyuan admits. "There's been some… unwanted interest aimed towards him. He decided it was best if he laid low for a while."

"Hmm," Madam Jialan hums, reading through the letter and then peering into the money pouch. "What does he want the things made out of - jade?"

"He said to get the best you could get," Yue Qingyuan says.

"Tch, I thought he had a better grasp of money than this. I could get ten sets with this," Madam Jialan scoffs. 

"Ah, our mutual friend had something of a windfall lately," Yue Qingyuan explains. "So he has enough to spend."

"Cultivators, no sense whatsoever. Fine. I'll get him the best damned tools in the business then. Mutton fat jade should do, it'll go beautifully with his hair, that ridiculous brat," Madam Jialan harrumphs and takes the letter and the money. "Wait a moment, and I'll get you his letters and something to get started with."

What she gets she thankfully bundles up in a scarf, so Yue Qingyuan can't actually see what it is - not until he delivers it to Shen Qingqiu and he opens the bundle.

There's a ceramic pot, and three books with… rather telling yellow covers.

Shen Qingqiu quickly wraps the books up again, his beautiful face going distractingly flushed under his white hair. "Thank you, Sect Leader," he says. "Did she say when my order might be ready?"

"It'll be a week at the earliest, maybe longer," Yue Qingyuan says, trying not to stare at his ears, the way the bright red contrasts against the pale hair. He's wearing the jade hairpin too… "I can go get it for you when the time comes, of course. You needn't worry."

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat and nods. "I don't have to tell you to keep all of this to yourself," he then says, half a threat, casting a glance his way.

"Of course not," Yue Qingyuan says quickly. "I wouldn't reveal your secrets, especially not something like this."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Well, you are the master of keeping secrets," he mutters and shakes his head. "Thank you, Sect Leader. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some absolutely horrible reading to do," he says and adds under his breath, "And a bucket to drown myself in."

Yue Qingyuan smothers a smile at that. Ah, he's embarrassed - for all his worldly experience and casual disdain about such things, Shen Qingqiu is embarrassed. "Yes, right… of course," Yue Qingyuan says fondly. "If there's nothing else you need…?"

Shen Qingqiu hesitates, clutching onto the bundle of papers and books, and sighs. "Thank you, Zhangmen-shixiong," he says. "Really, I - it means a great deal to me. To have someone I can - trust with this."

Yue Qingyuan's heart does a painful little somersault in his chest, and it's all he can do to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. Shen Qingqiu isn't looking at him, his eyes determinedly aimed away, look of embarrassment still on his face, but the sincerity of the words, as difficult as they clearly are for him to say, is real. "Anything, Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says quietly. "You can trust me with anything."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs at that and glances at him, but there's a look in his eyes that isn't quite as aloof or cold as his expression lets on. "Not everything," he says. "But some things, and I suppose that's better than nothing."

Lowering his gaze, Yue Qingyuan takes the blow, gentle though it is. Not everything, no - but some things. "I - want to tell you," he murmurs, wincing. "Everything - I do - but -"

"There's time," Shen Qingqiu says dismissively and turns away. "Don't worry about it."

Yue Qingyuan gazes after him as he walks away, to do… whatever it is Shen Qingqiu must do for his cultivation. He tries not to imagine what it might be, he really tries.

Yue Qingyuan is a failure in many ways - but bit by bit, he's learning to accept that.

There's a report of an Endless Abyss rift sighting, but it's gone by the time it reaches Yue Qingyuan's desk. Just a brief event, only a few hours long - a Demon Octopus had come through and killed some cattle, leaving behind some carnage before the rift closed and the octopus died on the spot, cut off from whatever demonic power source that sustained it out of water. The Tian Yi Overlook would fetch a decent price selling the parts of the corpse.

All in all, there aren't that many Endless Abyss rift sightings in the Human Realm. One or two every month, perhaps - there might be more, but they're only really recorded when they're noticed. By old estimation, there might be as many as a dozen each month, but most of them appear in places with no people - up in the mountains, down under lakes, in deep ravines, thick forests. Human settlement overall covers very little of the Human Realm, and the Endless Abyss doesn't exactly pick and choose where to appear. It appears wherever. And very rarely it lasts longer than a few hours.

There are other Otherworldly rifts in the meanwhile - a notable one appears near Zhao Hua Temple's territory, a rift into the Heavenly Realm. It leaks purified Qi, but cannot be entered - neither does anything come through. Zhao Hua Temple uses it to purify some corrupted and demonic relics of theirs, and then bask in its presence for two days before it disappears, not lasting quite long enough for pilgrimages. The site would no doubt become holy, though - already, they're planning a shrine.

Yue Qingyuan learns more about Otherworldly rifts than he strictly speaking needs to know, researching Endless Abyss Rifts - he also learns about the few ventures that had ever been made into the Endless Abyss. Past Peak Lords - mostly Bai Zhan Peak Lords - had made some journeys there, and there had been attempts of purifying the place, mapping it out, taming it. None ever succeeded. It was eventually concluded that the Endless Abyss wasn't exactly a place - it was a transitional space, chaos given form. It couldn't be purified any more than the sky could be painted.

It was the result of the Splitting of Realms - when Heavenly Realm, Human Realm, and the Demon Realm were torn apart. As far as anyone can tell, the Endless Abyss exists in between the three, an unnatural consequence of the terrible event, its wound in existence. A border realm, so to speak, a barrier - a place where all three grind together.

Yue Qingyuan has to admit, he can't fully wrap his mind around it. The forces and realities in question are too great for his still very human mind. Perhaps at a higher level of cultivation it would make sense - perhaps for a person like Shen Qingqiu it does make sense. Yue Qingyuan is very much an earthly creature still, crude matter, incapable of thinking in divine terms.

So he gives up and simply tries to figure out a better way to track the rifts - as though thousands of cultivators before him hadn't tried and failed.

And in the meanwhile he burns appeal after appeal until the other sects decide that since sending letters isn't doing the trick, invitations and surprise visits will be it. The invitations Yue Qingyuan dithers on, knowing he can't easily turn them down - and the surprise visits, well…

"This junior was in the area - a night hunt of a Corrupted Air Spirit led me here," an accomplished and well respected young master of Huan Hua palace, Xue Sheng, explains with all apparent apology for showing up unannounced. "This junior thought it would be impolite to veer so close to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's territory and not pay our respects. Here, for Immortal Master Yue, with our sect's compliments…"

The gift is a scroll, a musical score composed by one of Huan Hua Palace's masters, one of a kind - and very clearly intended for Qing Jing Peak.

"Young Master Sheng is kind," Yue Qingyuan says with a mild smile and accepts the score. "Was the hunt very difficult - it is quite a long way from Huan Hua Palace, after all…"

The young man's aim is clear - it doesn't take long at all before he mentions, off hand, that he would very much like to see the famous Qing Jing Peak, hallowed for its many masterworks of four arts. Thankfully, Shen Qingqiu has given Yue Qingyuan a perfect excuse to refuse. With the renovations still going on, the Peak isn't suited for viewing.

"The Peak is being renovated? Whatever for - did something happen?" Xue Sheng asks, amazed.

"The Peak Lord gained quite the windfall during the Immortal Alliance Conference. He is using it to expand his Peak," Yue Qingyuan says calmly. "They are adding a new lecture hall, among other things. It will be a great boon to these twelve peaks, and will be enjoyed by members of this sect for generations to come."

Xue Sheng is suitably impressed, hiding his dismay well - and in the end is forced to make his suggestion to Yue Qingyuan directly. It takes quite a bit of circling and beating around the bush before he comes to it, though, and by the time he does, Yue Qingyuan is starting to feel his Heart Demons grow more insistent, their grip around his heart tightening.

"… of course I wouldn't wish to imply anything untoward," Young Master Sheng says. "Only it can't be denied, immortal Master Shen is quite…" he makes a show of searching for the word and lands on, "special. I can't deny, he has caught my eye, as he has caught the eye of so many these last few years. His… abilities are known widely."

Yue Qingyuan sips his tea and says nothing, staring at the young man.

"This junior is sure there can be some kind of… arrangement…" Xue Shang says leadingly. "As you are undoubtedly aware, Huan Hua Palace is quite… generous when it comes to these things."

Oh yes. Huan Hua Palace is first in line to get the access to any new elixir or pill or manual or cultivation method, snatching up all rogue cultivators with potential. There isn't a single Peak Lord they haven't tried to poach from Cang Qiong Mountain - not a single technique they haven't tried to buy or steal. Just the other year, they bought the formula for a new mood-enhancing elixir from Tian Yi Overlook - they now sell the elixirs to other sects at high price, while keeping the formula tightly to themselves.

If they got access to Shen Qingqiu… Yue Qingyuan isn't sure what they'll do. Shen Qingqiu's technique isn't something you can bottle and sell, after all.

People are sellable, though. And that's what they want him to do - that's what everyone expects him to do.

"This senior is afraid such arrangements aren't his to make," Yue Qingyuan says with a smile fixed firm on his face.

"Are you not the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect?" Xue Shang asks as though surprised. "Surely the disciples of your sect are yours to command."

"The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Peak Lords are a council, in which this Sect Leader holds equal authority to everyone else," Yue Qingyuan says as warmly as he can - which isn't very. "I know, our ways are rather strange compared to more… traditionally arranged sect structures, but it has worked for us for a thousand years. You will have to ask Peak Lord Shen for his time."

Xue Shang's expression tightens. "He doesn't seem to be receiving our letters."

"Isn't he? How unfortunate. Perhaps an issue with the messengers," Yue Qingyuan muses and smiles and stands up. "Apologies, Young Master Shang - this senior has another appointment coming up, and it cannot wait. Niu Runan!" he calls for his new Head Disciple. "Please escort young Master Shang to the border of the barriers. He has a long way home ahead of him."

Xue Shang swallows his answer and bows. Yue Qingyuan watches him go with sharp eyes and lets him leave, despite the fact that more than anything he wants to strike the little upstart down and then go to the very Peak he'd wanted to enter, to check that Shen Qingqiu is there and quite alright. It's the Heart Demons speaking - he knows where Shen Qingqiu is, he knows he's fine, it hasn't been a day since he saw the man. He knows his Shidi is alright.

But his heart quivers with nervous fear of what if he isn't, regardless.

Yue Qingyuan dithers only for a short while before giving in. There's something he's learned about living with Heart Demons - sometimes it's easiest to just satisfy their illogical demands and check, rather than stew in the fear that would inevitably only grow and grow until it threatened to consume him.

So he flies to Qing Jing Peak and finds Shen Qingqiu. It's late in the evening, the construction has halted for the day and so have the lessons - the disciples are enjoying the autumn evening in whatever way they can. In Qing Jing Peak it usually means painting or playing music or playing Weiqi with a worthy opponent in the many excellent viewing spots around the peak.

Shen Qingqiu is doing the same, sitting alone in a pavilion overlooking the mountains. With wind tugging on his hair and clothes, he faces the heavens with a white xiao in hand, playing an obscure tune into the wind. Instantly aware of Yue Qingyuan's presence, he glances at him over his shoulder, but doesn't stop playing. His eyes are searching, suspicious - Yue Qingyuan doesn't usually visit him so late in the day.

After a moment of tension, Shen Qingqiu's eyes soften with understanding, and he nods at him to come forward before turning back to face the mountains, his melody continuing uninterrupted.

Yue Qingyuan's shoulders relax and his Heart Demons are quelled as he quietly takes a seat.

Chapter Text

Everything feels a little messy without Luo Binghe there. The narrative throughline of the world is missing, and things just sort of happen without any linear plot or proper story structure to it. 

Though Shen Qingqiu suspects that things probably were more or less like that before, it's just that without a clear goal, no set deadline in mind, everything feels a little purposeless. Where before he was always subconsciously waiting and preparing for the Immortal Alliance Conference, now… now he just is.

There's no knowing when Luo Binghe will return. Originally it was five years, last go-around it was three, now… who knows. It makes time strangely fathomless, not having that clear schedule.

It makes it easy to fall into bad habits of procrastination.

He should do something about Tianlang-jun and Zhuzhi-lang but, ah, there's still time.

He should take himself by the back of the neck and start preparing but, ah, there's still time.

He should do something about Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge and his own stupid Boundless Human Cauldron reputation, but, ah…

There's still time. Right?

"Bro, don't even ask me," Shang Qinghua groans into his teacup. "I have no idea what is going on anymore, you've completely messed up my plot!"

"You should be grateful," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. 

"Grateful! My King is still in bed, recovering from the epic beatdown you had Yue Qingyuan give him! That was so not in the original!"

"Well neither was Mobei-jun's appearance in the Immortal Alliance Conference, that was all you," Shen Qingqiu says and throws a melon seed at him.

Shang Qinghua scoffs. "I don't know what you've complaining about, anyway. Just look at this!" He motions at Qing Jing Peak in disgust. "New lecture hall, new dormitory, library expansion, whole new wing to the Bamboo House, artificial hot springs, wine cellar?! And you still have money left over! You are living the good life, bro! What do you have to complain about?"

Shen Qingqiu scoffs again. "That's just... stuff."

"It's nice stuff," Shang Qinghua scoffs back at him. "Stuff I, as it happens, am building for you!"

"Stuff isn't going to fix anything," Shen Qingqiu mutters. "There's still things I need to cover, and a new lecture hall isn't going to do shit."

"Then go do them and stop bitching about it!"

Easy for you to say, you're not the most special, most desired moonlight lotus here. Shen Qingqiu had read some of the shit people said about him - even random no-name cultivators had opinions to share. Some enterprising hack was even sharing instructions on Dual Cultivation, with his fucking picture! According to the reports from Red Lantern, someone even made a fortune selling white brushes for a thousand spirit stones, claiming it was made of Shen Qingqiu's hair!

It's mortifying! It's the kind of treatment Liu Mingyan might've gotten if Qi Qingqi - and in the future-not-to-be Luo Binghe - hadn't been as careful and protective as they were. Just how badly has the plot gotten mangled to get him this kind of treatment? No way is he leaving Qing Jing Peak - he'll end up bound, gagged and stripped the moment he does, and Luo Binghe isn't even here to stage an epic rescue.

What does he have to complain about? What doesn't he have to complain about?!

Shang Qinghua is utterly unsympathetic. "Bro, you brought all of that on yourself. Look at the flags you've planted! The White Hair of Sacrifice? Seriously? You might've just as well bought yourself the Heroine Halo!"

"What was I supposed to do, let Liu Qingge die?" Shen Qingqiu hisses.

"... Yes? He died in the original."

"For a shitty reason," Shen Qingqiu mutters.

"Actually -"

"No, you wrote him out of the story because he challenged Luo Binghe's coolness status without being a damn Gary Stu," Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes. "That's why he died, not because of Qi-deviation or to blacken Shen Jiu's reputation."

"Well," Shang Qinghua says and then sighs. "What do you want from me, man? I had bills to pay! Plus, I was afraid I might write myself into a corner with Liu Qingge - there were only so many ways to resolve any potential conflict between him and Luo Binghe, and either way, it would piss people off. Better not to bother, I thought."

"Tch!"

Shen Qingqiu can see that, though. Proud Immortal Demon Way stopped having any realistic stakes or character motivations early on and never challenged its readers by making them choose between Luo Binghe and any of his opponents. No, it was always very clear cut - villain's were stupid, lecherous, scum, and Luo Binghe was the righteous revenge fantasy come to life. That - and the porn - was PIDW's draw.

What it is now though… ugh. 

"What happened last time?" Shang Qinghua asks after a moment. "You went through all of this before, so…?"

Shen Qingqiu sighs and shrugs. "I traveled, did missions, you and I got the Sun and Moon Dew Flowers to grow ourselves new bodies in case of our untimely deaths in the hands of our respective demon lords -"

"Uh, what?"

Shen Qingqiu explains the whole mess of the Sun and Moon Dew Flowers, finding them, meeting Zhuzhi-lang, planting the seeds, Shang Qinghua eventually messing them up with his super fertilizer…

"I did end up in the plant body, though it wasn't for long. It was great, though," Shen Qingqiu sighs a little wistfully. "No Without a Cure, and it was absolutely brimming with energy, just overflowing. I could even take Luo Binghe's excess demonic energy and just - digest it. It was great."

"Bro, you Dual Cultivated with Luo Binghe?" Shang Qinghua asks, giving him a strange look 

"No! I mean - it wasn't like that," Shen Qingqiu says quickly. Not in that body, anyway. "It was more like - he expelled his energy into me and took mine in return. Xin Mo had him in imbalance, more demonic energy than human Qi, so, he had to -"

"Use human vessels as Cauldrons?" Shang Qinghua asks, giving him a very pointed look. "Bro, that's Dual Cultivation."

"There wasn't any sex, though," Shen Qingqiu points out.

"Well, there isn't always! Sex just - makes it easier. Intimate contact, primal energies running wild, person A tapping into person B's lower dantian and so on and so on," Shang Qinghua waves a hand. "I know what I wrote, and I know what you think about my knowledge about cultivation in general, but I actually researched this shit. Dual Cultivating can be almost anything, as long as you have at least two people, giving and taking compatible energy from each other."

"Oh. Well, I thought, it being your setting and all," Shen Qingqiu says, giving him a disgusted look.

"Yeah yeah, but that was before you completely messed up my plot," Shang Qinghua mutters, giving him a disgusted look right back. "You totally Dual Cultivated with him."

… Twice even. Actually, if his Core Explosion was counted… thrice!

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat and looks away. He hasn't told Shang Qinghua about any of that, and he's not about to begin. Then he realises, "Wait, then - the cure for Without a Cure -?"

"Hmm? Oh that, yeah, no. That's still papapa with a Heavenly Demon," Shang Qinghua says dismissively.

"Oh, fuck you," Shen Qingqiu sighs. Damn him for getting his hopes up.

"You too, bro. Literally, you too."

There's a moment of silence as Shen Qingqiu reigns in his urge to throttle the other transmigrator. "Anyway. The plant body was great."

"Uh-huh," Shang Qinghua says. "Any reason why you're not going for it this time? Aside from the will be kidnapped outside Cang Qiong Mountain thing, anyway?"

Shen Qingqiu hesitates. "I… hope it won't be needed?" He asks. "Last time even when I died, I, uh. Came back. Technically, I've died four times now. Planting the Sun and Moon Dew Flower is kind of like asking for it, isn't it? Besides, I have a Bookmark. So I'm kinda covered already."

"Bro," Shang Qinghua breathes. "You got one?"

"I got one," Shen Qingqiu agrees with a smug grin.

"You lucky son of a bitch. Where did you put it?"

"Few days before the Conference. I would've done it sooner, but it took a while to gather the points," Shen Qingqiu admits with a sigh. "Then I got 5000 from the damn Conference, just like that. I swear, the System is laughing at me."

"Oh, boo-hoo, your life is so hard. My System doesn't even let me buy stuff like that, even if I had the points," Shang Qinghua mutters bitterly. "I just get punishment after punishment every time I mess anything up."

Thinking back to his punishments, Shen Qingqiu winces. He hadn't gotten any since he became a VIP user, but… some things you just don't forget. "I'm sorry, bro. That sucks."

Shang Qinghua sighs. "Well, I get to live out all my hurt and comfort fantasies with my King. That's been pretty great, not gonna lie."

Shen Qingqiu gives him a look. "Go you, living your best life," he says with a snort.

"I am and I will, thank you!" Shang Qinghua agrees. "At least until he kills me, anyway!"

"Cheerful," Shen Qingqiu says, giving him a slightly more concerned look - remembering, rather vividly, the many instances of Mobei-jun abusing his most loyal servant. And it usually wasn't even for a reason - the guy did it habitually. "You should probably tell him the beatdowns aren't attractive."

"What?" Shang Qinghua says.

"For humans, I mean," Shen Qingqiu clarifies. "For humans, being beaten by your significant other isn't attractive. It's actually really unappealing, a sign of a really terrible provider. Just the worst."

Shang Qinghua looks at him weird. "What are you on about, bro?"

"... Just do me a favour and tell him a story about one of Luo Binghe's harem member's ex husbands - ooh, tell him the story of Sikou Xiaofan," Shen Qingqiu says. She'd been a rather notable case of torture porn in PIDW - a withering flower coming to Luo Binghe for protection from her horrible abusive husband. Both her and her husband's fates had gotten disgustingly loving descriptions, as Luo Binghe first witnessed her abuse and then visited it upon her husband tenfold.

The arc had been revoltingly popular. It had, however, made some bold claims about Luo Binghe's views on spousal abuse. Bold, because they barely held water after said arc, really.

Shang Qinghua frowns, looking away. "Huh," he says. "Do you think it really -?"

He's interrupted by a crash and a familiar voice yelling, "Shen Qingqiu!"

Shang Qinghua almost jumps out of his skin. Shen Qingqiu sighs. "Liu Qingge is here," he hums. "Time to put your game face on. You're here supervising the construction and nothing else."

"I gotcha, bro," Shang Qinghua says. "Hey, what do you think about indoor water fountains?"

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and turns towards Liu Qingge's voice to see what he wants. It's been a while since he'd seen the man - so much so that Shen Qingqiu had been planning to visit Bai Zhan Peak to see what's up. His spiritual veins are kind of in need of unblocking too…

The thought trails away as he sees Liu Qingge and the thing he has with him. The War God has something bound up in a net made of Immortal Binding Cables, something that's squirming pathetically in a misshapen lump. It's too big to be one of the little monsters Liu Qingge still brings him occasionally. 

"Liu-shidi," Shen Qingqiu says, snapping out a fan, just in case. "What's that?"

"It's -" Liu Qingge begins, then stops and looks at Shang Qinghua. "You - go away."

"I'm sorry?" Shang Qinghua asks, taken aback.

"This has nothing to do with you, so scram!"

Shen Qingqiu sighs. Truly, Liu-shidi is a master of human interaction. "Thank you, Shang-shidi, this Shixiong will talk to you later."

"Right. Good luck, Shen-shixiong, with… whatever that is," Shang Qinghua gives the squirming bundle a concerned look and quickly skidaddles towards his disciples, busy erecting Qing Jing Peak's new disciple dormitory. Shen Qingqiu turns to Liu Qingge with some trepidation.

Liu Qingge glares at him obstinately, arms folded - defensive.

Shen Qingqiu trepidation grows into full-blown suspicion. "What did you do?" he asks slowly, looking at the netted thing. "What is this?"

Instead of answering Liu Qingge says,"We should take this somewhere private," which is extremely concerning. Without waiting for Shen Qingqiu's answer, Liu Qingge hauls the squirming net over his shoulder and sets out for the Bamboo House.

With increasing alarm, Shen Qingqiu follows him. And then seals the door behind him. With an actual seal. Just in case, he seals the walls too.

The squirming bundle, sensing the change in atmosphere, stops squirming as much and goes tense. Like it knows. Like it's aware. Fuck.

"Liu-shidi better have a good explanation for whatever this is," Shen Qingqiu says as the bundle is dropped unceremoniously on his floor.

Liu Qingge clears his throat. "I found it on Bai Lu mountain," he says.

That's… the opposite of a good explanation - that just causes more questions! "Liu-shidi, you -?"

Liu Qingge crouches down to tug at the net, pulling it open just a little, just enough for Shen Qingqiu to identify what it is he's captured.

Shen Qingqiu gapes in silent horror as a scared and very confused Zhuzhi-lang blinks up at him.

"It's some kind of demonic mutation," Liu Qingge says, taking Cheng Luan out and holding it threateningly at Zhuzhi-lang's neck. "I couldn't find a way in, but I could see this thing going in and out. I think it was visiting wherever Tianlang-jun's remains are. Some kind of demonic servant."

Shen Qingqiu has to sit down, Luo Binghe's fan listing in his hand. "Liu Qingge, you - you went to Bai Lu mountain? Didn't I tell you it was a lost cause?"

"You did, I didn't believe you," Liu Qingge scoffs. "You're stupid about your own health and safety. With Heavenly Demon's remains we might figure out how to track another one - if you weren't too stubborn about this, we'd already have it done!"

Shen Qingqiu can't even laugh, he's too stunned. Poor Zhuzhi-lang looks more than a little alarmed too. "What -?"

"Now, this thing has a way to get into the mountain," Liu Qingge says, nodding towards Zhuzhi-lang. "But it won't listen to me, and I'm shit at sealing - you need to put a binding seal on it -"

Only the fact that Liu Qingge doesn't know shit keeps Shen Qingqiu from slapping him. 

He can follow Liu Qingge's thinking, though. Zhuzhi-lang seems like just a random demonic mutation, low-level one at that - in his awkward real form Zhuzhi-lang doesn't even have Heavenly Demon seal on his forehead like Luo Binghe and Tianlang-jun do. So he seems like just a random demonic beast among many, a creature of no consequence beyond his ability to get into Bai Lu mountain. So, who cares, slap a binding seal n it, have it do the dirty work, no problem.

Yeah. Like Shen Qingqiu would ever put a slave seal on anything, never mind a sentient, sapient creature. Like that would even work on someone with Heavenly Demon blood.

"Get out," Shen Qingqiu says.

"Shen Qingqiu -"

"I'm not going to ask again," Shen Qingqiu snarls, standing up so fast he ends up, knocking his chair over.

Liu Qingge looks taken aback. "It's for you, you idiot - I'm doing this -"

"I'm the idiot? You just asked me to -! No," Shen Qingqiu says and points with his fan at the door. "Now."

Liu Qingge grits his teeth. "Fine, I'll ask Yue Qingyuan -"

"Ha!" Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "He wouldn't do it either - no, leave him," he adds sharply when Liu Qingge goes to pick Zhuzhi-lang up. "Leave him and go tell Yue Qingyuan what you just told me to do - he's going to love it. Leave him, Liu Qingge, he's staying with me -"

"I'm not leaving that thing alone with you!" Liu Qingge snarls incredulously. 

"Yes, you are," Shen Qingqiu says - no way is he letting poor Zhuzhi-lang be subjected to any more of Liu Qingge's oblivious tender mercies. 

"What if it attacks you?! Shen Qingqiu -"

Shen Qingqiu grabs Liu Qingge by the lapels of his robe to drag him out - and Liu Qingge must be pretty confused by his reaction, because he actually let's him. If he decided not to move there's no way on earth Shen Qingqiu could've made him budge, but Liu Qingge actually lets himself be dragged all the way to the door and out.

"At least keep it restrained!" Liu Qingge demands, sounding frustrated and angry. "Shen Qingqiu, don't be stup -!"

Shen Qingqiu closes the door to his face.

Silence reigns.

Fuck - fuck, fuck, fuck!

This is what he gets for procrastinating on the Tianlang-jun situation. This is his punishment. A well-meaning War God butting his big dumb head into things he had no understanding of and a bound-up demonic general in his living room. So, if he doesn't go to deal with the issue, the issue is hand-delivered to his doorstep? God!

System? What the fuck?!

[In Character Percentage, 66%. Bonus mission, "Poem of the Bamboo Branch" is now available. Would you like to activate this mission?]

Is it fucking optional?! Activate it, of course activate it!

With a groan, Shen Qingqiu turns back to Zhuzhi-lang, who's watching him silently from the floor, his shape lopsided and misshapen in the netting.

"Sorry about that," Shen Qingqiu sighs and goes to release him. "He has no idea what he's doing. Are you alright?"

Zhuzhi-lang isn't capable of answering like this, of course - in this mangled shape between Heavenly Demon and Gigantic Snake, he can't form words. He can't move properly like this either - there's not enough snake in him for graceful slithering, nor enough Heavenly Demon for him to prop himself up. The poor thing doesn't even have hands.

Zhuzhi-lang barely manages a very tentative nod.

Shen Qingqiu removes the Immortal Binding Cables and winces at the wounds it reveals. They aren't deep, but it's clear Liu Qingge hadn't taken him in peacefully. "I'll get you some medicine, hold on for a moment."

Whether it's confusion or curiosity or the fact that Zhuzhi-lang has weird priorities when it comes to people showing him the bare minimum of kindness… the Heavenly Snake Demon sits tight and waits and eventually lets Shen Qingqiu treat his injuries. Most of them are already healing, though. Heavenly Demon physiology is really something else.

"You must be so confused," Shen Qingqiu mutters, sitting back, and very carefully Zhuzhi-lang nods again, watching him wide-eyed. Shen Qingqiu laughs. "Yeah. Me too."

He'd known that Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan were still looking into the Endless Abyss and getting Luo Binghe back, but this… he really thought they'd already settled the Tianlang-jun issue a while ago. For Liu Qingge to go behind his back like this - well, not exactly behind his back, it's not like he can really order the man around, but still... it's really going too far.

He has no idea how to explain it to poor Zhuzhi-lang, either. Oh, the War God of Bai Zhan Peak wants your Uncle's bones to apparently use them in creation of a Heavenly Demon tracking artefact? He doesn't know you're one, btw, but I do. Like that's not terrifying to hear.

Shen Qingqiu runs a hand down his face. And to think his biggest argument for the Endless Abyss incident was that he couldn't bring a Heavenly Demon to Qing Jing Peak. Look at him now.

Shen Qingqiu gives Zhuzhi-lang a helpless look and then offers, "Would you like some tea?"

By the time panicked Yue Qingyuan arrives, Shen Qingqiu has not only served Zhuzhi-lang some tea, he's also gotten him a change of a robe and is seriously considering offering him a bath, too. Crawling on the ground like he must has not done the Heavenly Snake Demon many favours, and his long black hair is a disgusting matted mess. 

Zhuzhi-lang still seems very confused, but a little less fearful - he actually seems to be enjoying the tea, even though he has to drink it by lapping it from a plate.

Shen Qingqiu has almost bitten his tongue raw on all the questions he can't really ask and the apologies he can't really give. He keeps thinking back to Zhuzhi-lang on Maigu ridge, loyally dying in his Uncle's defence, and it makes him want to squirm guiltily, even though his part in that was… well, it wasn't minimal. But Tianlang-jun and Zhuzhi-lang kind of brought their own fates upon themselves.

Still, he can't help but think it was underserved.

He wants to ask what is going on, what Zhuzhi-lang was doing when Liu Qingge captured him - what's going on with Tianlang-jun - but he can't do that either without rousing all kinds of suspicions and questions.

So that's how Yue Qingyuan finds them - with Zhuzhi-lang awkwardly, confusedly enjoying tea, while Shen Qingqiu stews on everything he can't say.

"Shen-shidi?" he asks warily, looking down at Zhuzhi-lang, lying on the floor. Liu Qingge is there too - he goes a little red at the sight of the demon he captured on the loose, wearing Qing Jing Peak colours. Yue Qingyuan clears his throat. "Shen-shidi, are you alright?"

No, I'm having a panic attack and I want to wash Zhuzhi-lang's hair, Shen Qingqiu thinks and waves his fan - Luo Binghe's fan - at them. "Just fine."

"You let it go?" Liu Qingge demands.

"Served him tea, too," Shen Qingqiu agrees.

"Are you crazy?"

"Possibly," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "I spend time with you, after all - voluntarily. I must be going mad."

Yue Qingyuan takes the scene carefully, eyeing the demon on the floor, Shen Qingqiu sitting relaxedly across from him, and Liu Qingge stewing with frustration and angry concern. It's kind of endearing, how he switched on the Concerned Big Brother Taking Control Of The Situation, almost visibly pulling on his big boy pants.

"Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says. "I know what Liu Qingge suggested must've come across as a - shock. He didn't know."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and takes a sip of tea, eyeballing him suspiciously.

Yue Qingyuan is quick to reassure him with, "He still doesn't, but I have explained to him the… awkwardness of the situation," he explains and turns to their Shidi. "And Liu-shidi, you can't just spring a demon on someone like this."

"Tch," Liu Qingge says, but he looks a little guilty and a lot awkward, so Yue Qingyuan really must've said some choice words to him.

"And, ah," Yue Qingyuan looks at Zhuzhi-lang. Nervously, Zhuzhi-lang flickers a forked tongue at him. Yue Qingyuan looks at Shen Qingqiu, slightly at a loss. "You... served him tea?"

"Seemed like the thing to do after Liu-shidi kidnapped him and threatened him with slavery," Shen Qingqiu says wryly. Mostly he'd just panicked, really, but now that they're here he's running with it.

"Ah," Yue Qingyuan says, very eloquently, and looks down at Zhuzhi-lang again. Small mercies, he doesn't seem to recognise the demon as Tianlang-jun's general - likely he only saw Zhuzhi-lang in his Gigantic Snake form. That doesn't mean he knows what to do with Zhuzhi-lang who's just lying there, watching them warily with his big, snakelike eyes.

"Shen Qingqiu, what the hell are you doing?" Liu Qingge finally demands. 

"I'm having tea," Shen Qingqiu answers mildly and lifts his cup. "See?"

"You can't just - it's a demon, you can't, what, keep him?"

Shen Qingqiu lowers the cup. Honestly, what he should've done was get Zhuzhi-lang out of here before Liu Qingge returned, but he knows it wouldn't take Liu Qingge long to recapture him. So he'd been trying to think of something else to do, to get the poor guy back to where he belonged.

Which is somewhere between Bai Lu Mountain and Bai Lu Forest. Looking for the Sun and Moon Dew Flower for Tianlang-jun. Living in the dirt. Like an animal.

Keep him? Keep Zhuzhi-lang here, in Qing Jing Peak? What, like a pet? Or…?

Shen Qingqiu must be going crazy, because he says, "Why not? He wouldn't be this teacher's first demonic disciple!" 

Zhushi-lang lets out an actual noise at that, while Liu Qingge makes an outraged face, and Shen Qingqiu releases a sigh, turning to the demon. "Excuse me, that was rude of me," he says with a somewhat strained smile and exaggerated manners. "Naturally, I'm not actually being serious - you're of course free to go -"

"The hell he is!"

It all goes downhill from there. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge definitely think he's having some sort of mental breakdown. Even Zhuzhi-lang looks at him like he's nuts. He might very well be! He definitely doesn't know what the hell he's doing. All he knows it's two things.

One, he can't let them hurt Zhuzhi-lang, even by accident, because heaven knows Shen Qingqiu did enough of that last time around. And two, he can't let them know Zhuzhi-lang is a Heavenly Demon.

Yeah.

Shen Qingqiu isn't too surprised that they call Mu Qingfang on him.

"Well, aside from the… obvious previous ailments, there's nothing terribly wrong with Shen-shixiong," Mu Qingfang deems. "There's the Without a Cure poison, which is still putting a strain on your system and your old Heart Demons seem to have mutated slightly, but aside from that…"

It's only by long experience of not blurting out revealing shit that Shen Qingqiu manages to ask, "Mutated how?" instead of "What Heart Demons?!"

Mu Qingfang hums. "It's hard to say. Some of them are stronger, some weaker. These things tend to happen over time, especially as you come close to a Breakthrough - and you seem to be working on several," he muses, sounding slightly impressed. "I can do a more thorough analysis, if you'd like, but that will take time. For now I can confirm that though you seem to be under quite a bit of stress and might have a lapse in judgement, you aren't having a mental breakdown, nor are you under demonic influence."

Shen Qingqiu nods slowly, still digesting the fact that he has Heart Demons. It makes sense for Shen Jiu to have them, of course, but him? Surely not. Did he inherit them from Shen Jiu?

"This Shixiong would appreciate a… more thorough analysis," Shen Qingqiu says slowly. "So that I can treat them accordingly."

"Very insightful of you," Mu Qingfang says, now giving him a slightly suspicious look.

"This Shixiong has been… aiding Zhangmen-shixiong with his issue," Shen Qingqiu explains quickly.

"Ah, that explains Zhangmen-shixiong's improvement," Mu Qingfang hums thoughtfully. "Well, this Shidi can certainly do a more thorough examination in the future, but perhaps not now - shall we go join the others? I'm sure they're eager to hear you aren't acting out of character."

Shen Qingqiu just barely keeps from laughing hysterically and nods instead. Together they exit the bedroom and join Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, who are watching a very nervous looking Zhuzhi-lang.

"Well?" Liu Qingge demands.

"Shen-shixiong is healthy, free of outside influences and in full control of his own faculties," Mu Qingfang reports, looking down at Zhuzhi-lang curiously.

"Then why is he acting like an insane person?" Liu Qingge demands 

Shen Qingqiu whacks him with his fan. "Because," he says. "I'm tired and I'm stressed, and you brought some poor demon into my house and told me to enslave it - how was I supposed to react?!

"Poor demon?" Liu Qingge scoffs. "The damn thing almost took a bite out of me!"

"Was it before or after you attacked him?"

Liu Qingge glares back at him, looking angry and guilty and mutinous.

Yue Qingyuan smiles awkwardly between them. "Well, it's good to know Shen-shidi is fine," he says. "However, the demon… is an issue."

"You don't say," Shen Qingqiu scoffs and turns to Mu Qingfang. "This Shixiong apologises to Mu-shidi, but -"

The healer lifts his hands in surrender. "Say nothing more about it, I'm quite sure this Shidi doesn't need to know. Only say right now if I should stay on Qing Jing Peak for a while longer or not - I'd hate to make the trip back home only to find out one of you got himself bitten and I need to come back straightaway."

"It should be alright now," Shen Qingqiu says and eyeballs everyone else in the room. "Right?"

Yue Qingyuan smiles, Liu Qingge scoffs, and Zhuzhi-lang sighs on the floor.

"Right," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "Thank you for your services, Mu-shidi, they won't be needed again tonight."

Mu Qingfang hums, somewhat dubious, but nods. "I will see you later, then, Shen-shixiong. I hope the rest of your day will be a little less… exciting."

He can only wish.

They wait in awkward silence until Mu Qingfang has left, and then for a while longer, until Shen Qingqiu breaks the silence.

"So," he says. "Now what?"

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat and looks at Liu Qingge. "Liu-shidi's motivations were… good," he says. "We need a way to track Luo Binghe, and with another Heavenly Demon's remains we might be able to do it."

On the floor, Zhuzhi-lang goes very still.

"I thought we agreed that going to Bai Lu mountain was a bad idea," Shen Qingqiu says flatly.

"That was before Luo Binghe," Liu Qingge snaps. "You refuse to do anything to look for him - why? Don't you care at all -"

"I care," Shen Qingqiu says flatly. "I just know what I can and cannot do, and I know I can't help Luo Binghe. And I trust in his abilities. He'll pull through."

"From the damn Endless Abyss?" Liu Qingge demands incredulously. "Are you really this - it's the Dream Demon all over again!"

"What Dream Demon?" Yue Qingyuan asks sharply 

"It's nothing," Shen Qingqiu answers quickly.

"After the invasion, Luo Binghe was attacked by a Dream Demon," Liu Qingge says without mercy, watching him. "The brat pulled Shen Qingqiu into it, and Shen Qingqiu pulled me - we had to endure the attack on the brat's sleeping mind along with him. And even then you just - stood by and let it happen -"

"No, I didn't," Shen Qingqiu snaps at him, just to shut him up before he says anything more. "I did what I could - which ultimately wasn't much. When demons fight, there's not much humans can do, as it happens."

Yue Qingyuan turns to him. "This was after the invasion?" he asks. "Shen-shidi - you've known since then?"

… fuck. 

"No, I only meant - in hindsight -" 

It's too late - they're both staring at him in realisation. Even Zhuzhi-lang is giving him a look.

"You've known for almost three years your student was a demon?" Liu Qingge asks flatly. 

"Did you know from the start he's a Heavenly Demon?" Yue Qingyuan asks, his voice choked.

Liu Qingge lets out a snarl and takes a step forward. "What the hell, why didn't you -?"

"What?" Shen Qingqiu snarls right back. "Why didn't I tell you my seventeen, then fifteen-year-old disciple was a half-demon? What would've you done back then? Other than kick him out, imprison him, maybe even try to kill him! Or what, do you want to ask me why I didn't fuck my fifteen-year-old student?!"

Even to his own ears he sounds feral.

Liu Qingge looks a little taken aback, and Yue Qingyuan has gone pale. "No, of course not -", "Shen-shidi, that's not at all -"

"It damn well better not be!" Shen Qingqiu snarls and has to grab support from the wall. "Because if you think for a moment that I would -!"

Fuck, he feels faint.

Thankfully, though Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge both look alarmed, neither of them looks chastised, like they're actually thinking about it. Shen Qingqiu isn't sure what he wouldn't have done if they did. 

"That doesn't answer why you don't want to save Luo Binghe," Liu Qingge says quietly.

"Of course I want to save him!" Shen Qingqiu almost wails. "I just know it's not possible to get him out of there - only he can do that! And I trust him - I believe in his abilities. He promised me he'd be back after mastering his demonic side, and I believe in him. Why is that not enough for you?"

Liu Qingge lets out a frustrated sigh and turns away, running his hands over his hair.

Yue Qingyuan sighs. "I suppose we - aren't as good at waiting," he says and very tentatively reaches for his hand. Shen Qingqiu almost pulls his hand away, but - there are the sad eyes, damn it.

Why must be so damn weak to imploring looks?

"You and your impulsiveness. And Liu-shidi, once again jumping to conclusions like a champion," Shen Qingqiu groans, rubbing his eyes with one hand, the other held in Yue Qingyuan's. "The hell am I going to do with you two?"

There's a moment of awkward silence. Then...

"Fine, fine!" Liu Qingge growls. "What do we do about the demon, then?" he asks, looking at Zhuzhi-lang.

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and lowers his hand. "Well, I was going to offer him a dip in our brand new hot springs," he says, casting Zhuzhi-lang an apologetic look. "And then you can take him where you found him."

"Are you kidding me?"

"I'm really not," Shen Qingqiu says firmly, casting him a glare and then crouching down to face Zhuzhi-lang. "I'm offering you a chance to clean up before you go back - what do you say?"

Considering the few options presented to him, Zhuzhi-lang is understandably quick to nod in agreement. And so that's decided.

All Shen Qingqiu can think it's that when Zhuzhi-lang got a chance to tell him everything, Tianlang-jun would probably enjoy it.

Chapter Text

Liu Qingge is pissed off. Specifically, he's pissed off at Shen Qingqiu. The man is being an idiot. Or, worse and much more likely, he's hiding things from them.

Shen Qingqiu isn't even trying to get Luo Binghe back, isn't doing anything about it - he actually seems annoyed every time Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan bring it up. If this was a few years back, Liu Qingge would've thought he simply didn't care - or maybe that he even enjoyed the idea of his demonic disciple's suffering in the Endless Abyss. It certainly seems like he is, with the way he's acting right now. He doesn't even seem to worry about it! And sure, Luo Binghe wasn't exactly Shen Qingqiu's favourite disciple or anything, but…

The callousness of Shen Qingqiu's behaviour is grating. Not for Luo Binghe's safety, but for his own. Luo Binghe is the cure for Shen Qingqiu's ailment, and he doesn't even seem to care.

"He'll be back," the Qing Jing Peak Lord says, with perfect confidence, as though it's a done deal, as though there's nothing to be worried about - as though his youngest disciple isn't stuck in the Endless Abyss.

It's infuriating, it's bewildering, it's…

It's making Liu Qingge more and more certain that Shen Qingqiu is hiding things from them. Not just his new unorthodox method of cultivation, not just his knowledge, his unrighteous habits… but other things. Bigger things. He keeps thinking back to that time in Lingxi caves and Shen Qingqiu's pronouncement about having greater enemies than Liu Qingge, and it's only making him more and more pissed off, because Shen Qingqiu still won't clarify, won't say. What does it help, all this hiding? Who does it benefit?!

Really, at this point it's a bit much for Shen Qingqiu to rag on Yue Qingyuan about his secrets - Shen Qingqiu definitely has more of them.

And one of them has something to do with this Snake Demon - whom Liu Qingge is currently taking back to Bai Lu forest, though not without complaint.

"He knew you," he says to the snake, once more bundled up for transport, though this time not in a net of Immortal Binding Cables. "I could tell - you're someone he knows."

The Snake Demon gives him a side-eyed look, the ugly, conical shape of his face making reading it impossible. The demon says nothing - he clearly can't talk, but he can understand and communicate, shake and nod his head. It was enough for Shen Qingqiu to establish a damn rapport with the beast, but with Liu Qingge it offers nothing but looks.

"The only reason I am letting you go alive is because he asked," Liu Qingge mutters. "If it was up to me…"

Well, if it was up to him, things would've gone very differently. And when it had been up to him, he'd messed things up. Because of Shen Qingqiu's secrets - because, unbeknownst to all of them except for the Sect Leader, the Qing Jing Peak Lord has issues with slavery, personal issues. Enough issues that Yue Qingyuan had gaped at him in pure, pale-faced horror when he'd explained what he'd done, what he'd said to Shen Qingqiu.

The discomfort of having misstepped somehow makes Liu Qingge only angrier, and so he doesn't show the Snake Demon much courtesy while setting him down, in the very same clearing in Bai Lu Forest where he'd captured the thing. The Snake Demon wiggles loose from the blanket he'd been wrapped in and then crawls further away, clearly eager to put distance between them.

"Hey," Liu Qingge says, scowling. "You owe your life and your freedom to Shen Qingqiu."

The snake glances at him over his shoulder, over the dark robe Shen Qingqiu had offered him after his bath. The snake looks better now, with long black hair clean and braided instead of trailing everywhere in tangled mats, and his skin is clean of dirt and flaking shedding - but it's still an ugly, mutated mess. What Shen Qingqiu even for a moment saw in him, Liu Qingge doesn't know, but it'd been enough to serve the demon tea and treat him like a honoured guest.

"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge says, pointing a finger at the thing. "Showed you kindness. You owe him. Remember that."

The Snake Demon hesitates, big luminous eyes unblinking, staring at him. Then, very slowly, the demon nods in complete but still silent understanding, before turning back to the forest. He disappears into the bushes swiftly, considering his awkwardness and how clumsily he moved in the Bamboo House. It's not fast enough for Liu Qingge not to follow him, but…

He doesn't. Shen Qingqiu told him to let the beast go. So he does. Damn it all.

To cool off, Liu Qingge keeps his distance from Qing Jing Peak for a few days, while taking his frustrations out on his senior disciples. Some of them are shaping up to be good fighters, though none can keep up with him by themselves - so it's a nice big melee for a few days, with Liu Qingge having declared the training exercise. He gets ambushed by his students everywhere it goes, and for a little while, it takes his mind off things.

But not enough. The thoughts, they're like lingering wraiths, always hiding just in the corner of his vision, circling, making him think.

First, Shen Qingqiu's enemy, and all the preparations he had been making these last few years, teaching his students, strengthening his Peak and other Peaks, designing the War Games to teach all their disciples how to handle actual War.

Then his new cultivation method, of which the Sympathetic Healing was undoubtedly a part of. That, and the nightmare, the things Liu Qingge had glimpsed during the Dream Demon's attack… the story they tell and the picture they paint isn't pretty.

Now his student, the fact that for years Shen Qingqiu knew he was harbouring a demon, a Heavenly Demon, and did nothing about it.

Had Shen Qingqiu known from the beginning what Luo Binghe was? No, Liu Qingge doesn't think so, he doesn't think Shen Qingqiu would've taken the boy in if he'd known back then. No, he must've figured it out somewhere along the way, and then decided what to do about it. And what he decided to do about it was… mostly nothing. Though, when dealing with demons, choosing to do nothing is already a choice, an active choice, with consequences.

How Shen Qingqiu's history with slavery features, Liu Qingge isn't sure, he isn't even sure what that past even is exactly, but it's a factor. People are built on their pasts, a Bai Zhan Cultivator knows that better than anyone. Some things you simply can't shake, no matter how far you cultivate away from them. Some things about your history stick to you like stones, weights around your neck, and the best you can do is learn how to bear the weight. 

Shen Qingqiu clearly has learned to bear the weight.

"Has he?"

Liu Qingge looks up from his teacup to his sister, sitting prim and proper across from him with her face bare and her hair let down.

"What does that mean?" Liu Qingge demands.

Liu Mingyan gives him a look and sets her own cup down. "Shen-shibo is strong, and has many secrets," she muses. "More than anyone realised - but no one can carry all the weight alone. Assuming Shen-shibo is preparing for whatever it is that is to come and has been for years… he must've been working hard. Such a thing would take a toll on anyone."

Liu Qingge scoffs, rolling his teacup in hand. It has nothing on Shen Qingqiu's cups, the ones with or without gold. His cups are rough, un-enamelled, simple dark clay with only the patina of tea to paint them. They suit him, but they are barely fit for guests. "I know that," he mutters and also sets his cup down, looking away. "But how can I do anything about it when he won't tell me anything?"

Liu Mingyan hums sympathetically and pours them both more tea. "Maybe you can't do anything different. Maybe the best you can do is be there," she suggests. "You've been supporting him for years now, offering him Qi cleansing and companionship. At least in that way, he's come to rely on you."

Liu Qingge hums, uncertain. What had once been weekly sessions have dwindled into monthly ones, if even that, and Shen Qingqiu's Qi rarely gets blocked these days. The worst that had happened was during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and Liu Qingge had been too late to really help then. By the time they'd cleared Shen Qingqiu's meridians, the fight was already mostly over. Much use he is.

"Gege," Liu Mingyan says gently. "When you live in a tumultuous time, one solid rock might be all you need to stay afloat. You were that rock to me, once, so I should know."

Liu Qingqe scowls, looking away. "It's not the same," he says. "I left you. I wasn't going to go back." 

"But you did anyway. And I always knew you were out there, that was enough," Liu Mingyan says with a smile. "Maybe Shen-shibo needs a rock like that. You've told me how Yue-shibo is, and aside from him and you, Shen-shibo has no other friends, correct?"

"… there's something going on with Shang Qinghua, too," Liu Qingge mutters, annoyed. It might be just all the building happening in Qing Jing Peak, but… they put their heads together a lot, they scheme together - more than once, Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua have quickly stopped talking and changed the subject when they realised there was someone observing.

Liu Mingyan's eyebrows arch. "Shang-shibo too?" she asks, amazed. "My, Shen-shibo is busy."

Liu Qingge scoffs and looks away. He doesn't understand Shen Qingqiu's tastes at all - Shang Qinghua is not even that good looking. He looks - and acts - like a ferret most of the time, and with his personality… Shen Qingqiu would eat him alive. 

Though maybe that's the appeal. Compared to Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua must be easy.

Liu Mingyan clears her throat. "Well… in either case, these last few years you've offered Shen Qingqiu a… service," she says and holds up a hand at his sharp look. "Not like that, but - we get different things from different people. Shen-shibo is a complicated man with complicated issues. Yue-shibo must help with some of those issues. Maybe Shang-shibo does too. And you, you offer him something too."

"A rock to lean on?" Liu Qingge asks, shaking his head. "What if it's not enough?"

"Gege," Liu Mingyan says gently. "You can't be more to people than they're ready to accept. Not unless you want to take from them more than they're willing to give."

Hissing through his teeth, Liu Qingge says nothing to that, letting the words get to him, like they always do. His sister can be unnervingly observant and insightful about people when she wants to be - she's always been a people-watcher. She had to learn, first because the many threats aimed her way, then because of the shield placed between her and the world. The veil she wore made her difficult to read, so in turn people tended to become aloof and standoffish with her, defensive against her defence. Masks made everything difficult like that, which is why Liu Qingge never wore one, even though it tended to be commonplace in their family before marriage.

Shen Qingqiu wears a sort of mask. Layers upon layers of masks, which all look the same - like a haughty, superior look aimed down his nose. Underneath that… layers upon layers of subterfuge. Even marriage probably wouldn't be enough to strip them off.

"So I should just do what I always do?" Liu Qingge asks, frustrated. "He's dying, Mingyan - and he's not doing anything about it."

"That we know, and his condition is stable, for now," Liu Mingyan says meaningfully. "You said it yourself, he hides things. Does Shen-shibo really seem like a man who would just… ignore something like that? He must have a plan in the works - maybe it's even in action right now. It just might be a long winded one."

It's frustrating, talking around Luo Binghe - Liu Mingyan doesn't know about him, and wouldn't learn about him from Liu Qingge either. But it's awkward, trying to explain the issue, when he can't explain what's so damn frustrating about it. "And I can't ask him about it," Liu Qingge mutters, giving her a look. "Just let Shen Qingqiu do his thing and trust he knows what he's doing, is that it?"

"Brother, all relationships are based on trust," she says and reaches for her teacup. "When you're running around behind his back trying to fix his issues for him - isn't that a little like you don't trust him to handle himself?"

"What if I don't?"

She arches a brow at that, pausing in mid drink. She doesn't seem to know what to say to it at first, searching for words. "Then," she says slowly. "I guess you - don't." She frowns a little, considering him at length.

Liu Qingge shakes his head, reaching for his cup. Taking a sip, he tries to de-tangle the issue in his head, but it only seems to get all the more messy the longer he turns it over in his head. Trust Shen Qingqiu to handle it and just let the matter lie? And what about when it comes to bite them in the ass - when it turns out Luo Binghe died out there because of their inaction, taking away Shen Qingqiu's only chance of being cured? His only chance of ascension? As much as Liu Qingge wants to trust, that… that's a tough pill to swallow.

Liu Mingyan clears her throat. "Well, maybe you could do something else? Oh, you could - you should make some kind of gesture for Shen-shibo, both as an apology for going too far and to show him that you care, that you want to help! Maybe if he realises you're just looking out for his best interests, then - then he will let you help?"

Liu Qingge takes a sip of tea, thinking it through. It sounds… better than doing nothing, at least. "What sort of gesture?" he asks.

"Hmm," Liu Mingyan leans back, turning the tea cup idly in her hand. "Well," she says slowly. "You said he was working on an important project, right now? Maybe you can offer your help with that? Maybe he needs something for it, which you could get for him personally."

Liu Qingge somehow manages not to blush. "Uh," he says and looks away. Help Shen Qingqiu with his development of his Dual Cultivation method? "I'm not sure…"

"It has to be something big," Liu Mingyan says, leaning in, staring at him raptly - smelling blood in the water. "Something new. Bringing him monsters and monster parts is all well and good, but you have to make it something personal - and something only you can do. Something that shows him you can really provide for him, that you can help."

Liu Qingge runs a hand over his face. "I don't think there's a lot I can do there," he mutters. "It's not exactly something I know much about." Or anything, really… Bai Zhan Peak disciples take Qi-leakage seriously. Sure, there's their upbringing, from before the Sect, but even so, he'd… he'd never… "I don't think he'd really want my help anyway."

Liu Mingyan is grinning now, her eyes bright - she looks like she's just a hair width from whipping out paper and brush to start writing it all down. "But it's something important, right?" she suggests. "And he's working on it alone. Maybe just offering might be a big deal. Who knows, maybe just by being there you could give him some feedback."

Being there? Being there while Shen Qingqiu -?!

"You should ask him," Liu Mingyan says. "I'm sure Shen-shibo would appreciate the help."

Shen Qingqiu would probably kill him with a sharpened painting brush for asking. Liu Qingge shakes his head. "No, I'll think of something else," he says firmly. Anything else, really. "And keep looking into the other thing," any Endless Abyss sightings would still be a priority, no matter what Shen Qingqiu said.

Liu Mingyan sighs. "Gege," she says, plaintive. "You can't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect it to work differently. You need to try something else. Something new and different. How else will you know what might work?"

"No," Liu Qingge says firmly, and that's the end of it.

That's not the end of it, because when Liu Qingge finally works out his frustrations enough to go see Shen Qingqiu without the risk of punching the man in his perfect face, it's to find Shen Qingqiu on the verge of a goddamned Qi-deviation.

"What - you - what the hell, why didn't you - ?" Liu Qingge growls and slaps his hands on the man's back before he can answer. "You idiot, you're all blocked up! Why didn't you send for me?"

"It was fine," Shen Qingqiu says and lets out an indecent groan as Liu Qingge works through the blockages, sending Qi into his veins in powerful pulses. "Ah - I think it's the Breakthroughs - this close, the poison is acting up on me."

"You're close to a Breakthrough?" Liu Qingge demands and then sends a more searching pulse of Qi through Shen Qingqiu's meridians, feeling where they're weak, where they're strong - where they're brimming.

In his Qi-transfers before, Liu Qingge had been so concentrated on the weirdness of Shen Qingqiu's lower dantian that he'd completely missed the increased buildup elsewhere. The damage to his spiritual veins and the sluggish flow of his Qi had masked it, and of course Shen Qingqiu has been working on his Breakthroughs for the better part of half a decade, so Liu Qingge had almost gotten used to it, but now…

Shen Qingqiu really is close to not just one Breakthrough, but two.

"What are they? Your Breakthroughs? All your three dantians are active," Liu Qingge murmurs, a little uncomfortable with how painful it feels. With as much damage as Shen Qingqiu's spiritual veins have suffered, to have this much accumulated Qi flowing within him… it must hurt.

"Emotional and spiritual," Shen Qingqiu says, his back flexing under Liu Qingge's hands.

"Yes, I can feel that just in your dantians, but what is the nature of the breakthrough?" Liu Qingge asks. "I don't really know the cultivation law you use."

Shen Qingqiu glances at him over his shoulder. "One is Emotional Breakthrough, the other is Spiritual Breakthrough. That is their nature, Liu-shidi."

Liu Qingge hesitates, giving him a look. "That's - really? That simple? You're not working on Understanding, Theory, Acceptance, anything?" What kind of Breakthroughs are Emotional and Spiritual? Hell, the very first Breakthrough Liu Qingge had was The Heart of Sword, and it was considered one of the easiest Breakthroughs you could go through in Bai Zhan. "What even is an Emotional Breakthrough?" You'd think an intellectual scholar like Shen Qingqiu would be working on something far more complicated than that….

"It is what it is. There's nothing simple about it," Shen Qingqiu scoffs, rubbing at his chest. "I'm almost at the stage where I could probably trigger them, but… with my low physical aspect, I might end up with a backlash."

"With the state your spiritual veins are in? You absolutely would," Liu Qingge scoffs, a little incredulous, sending another pulse through his system. "You'll send yourself into a Qi-deviation for sure, trying a Breakthrough as you are."

Shen Qingqiu chuckles wryly. "Yes, I thought so," he agrees and looks away, his back flexing again against Liu Qingge's hands. "That's why I haven't pushed it."

Even through the many layers of jade green cloth, the War God can feel the movement of his shoulder blades, the sharpness of his spine. Shen Qingqiu has lost weight.

"You're still practising inedia constantly?" Liu Qingge mutters, frowning, spreading out his fingers to feel the shape of the man's shoulder blades. They're downright bony.

"Well, you know, pure body and all that," Shen Qingqiu sighs, bowing his head slightly, white hair parting at the nape of his neck, revealing his vulnerable spine. It's distracting enough for Liu Qingge to need a moment to parse what he actually said.

Pure body? Oh, so that's what it is. That's why his Breakthroughs are so - so baseline. He's working out the Breakthroughs of his new method of cultivation, not the old spiritual cultivation methods of Qing Jing Peak. It's so new that he doesn't know how they should go - there is literally no manual for him to follow, no one's written the cultivation law of his method. Shen Qingqiu is inventing it, so… he has to take guesses, test things out, experiment with new methods, and in so doing… risk himself.

It must be like that every time a new cultivation method is established. Someone has to go through the arduous process of establishing the first steps, writing the rules, figuring out the basics and the practices. And since Shen Qingqiu's new method is… very physical… he practises inedia without a break, keeping his body pure of outside contaminants in order to let his Qi flow pure.

Except it doesn't flow pure. With his nearly broken meridians, how could it flow pure? His spiritual veins are twisted, crooked, on the verge of falling apart. His Qi isn't so much a flow as it is an easily stagnating trickle.

Liu Qingge presses his lips together, feeling a little cold all of a sudden, and finishes the treatment as gently and quickly as he can. "You need to - to concentrate on your physical training," he says. "You've been neglecting it."

Shen Qingqiu says nothing, rolling his shoulders. Somehow, he still manages to convey the sarcastic, Oh, do you really think so, Liu-shidi, physical training - how like Bai Zhan Peak Lord, to promote exercises. You meathead.

Liu Qingge grits his teeth. "Shen Qingqiu, this close to a Breakthrough and with this level of damage - one Qi-deviation could kill you," he says flatly, and when Shen Qingqiu says nothing, he grabs the man by the shoulders to turn him around. "Are you listening to me? You need to work this out before you get yourself killed!"

Shen Qingqiu casts him a glare. "I've been a little busy," he snarls. "And you bringing demons to my doorstep hasn't been exactly helping."

"Then make time - this is more important than the building of your damn bathhouse!" Liu Qingge snaps, and then starts thinking. Though he doesn't know much about Dual Cultivation, he does know that a lot of brothels double as bathhouses. "Unless - do you need the hot springs for your cultivation?" It would make sense, physical relaxation and all that…

Shen Qingqiu blinks at that and then makes a sort of amused harrumphing noise. "That sounds likely, doesn't it - Shen Qingqiu, lounging about in hot springs, cultivating hedonism," he says and pulls away from Liu Qingge's grip, giving him a strange look. Then he shakes his head and stands up. "Never mind, Liu-shidi. It is what it is. There's just not much that can be done with my damaged meridians. It was bad even before the poison, and now…" he shrugs, fatalistic.

Liu Qingge grinds his teeth together. There really isn't - there are just some things no medicine can heal. The only thing that can fix damaged spiritual veins is a higher level of cultivation or a miracle. The first is currently out of Shen Qingqiu's reach, the latter… impossible to acquire, pretty much. All that can be done, really, is for Shen Qingqiu to improve his cultivation until he can heal himself, and as things are… it's almost impossible.

But… he had managed to get to this state. On the verge of two Breakthroughs! Even for a perfectly healthy cultivator that is nothing to sneeze at. With the level of handicaps Shen Qingqiu is working with…

And the last is Liu Qingge's field of expertise. "What do you need for the physical aspect?" he asks, standing up quickly. "I'm a physical cultivator, maybe I can help you figure it out."

Shen Qingqiu stops and just looks at him, surprised, and Liu Qingge winds back what he said. "I - I mean - exercises," Liu Qingge says quickly, feeling his face go red, his eyes widening. "You'll need - to figure out a new training regimen, right? Even if your cultivation is like - like that, you still need to work out the basics, the right moves, to activate the right muscles - stretches, and - such. I can - help you there."

Shen Qingqiu is staring at him like he's lost his mind now, and Liu Qingge goes rapidly through embarrassment and humiliation and lands on angry determination and glares at him, daring him to laugh. The offer is made, he'll stand by it. "I will," he says. "I will help. If you - need it."

Shen Qingqiu lets out a soft snort. "Thank you, Liu-shidi," he says. "I'll keep that in mind."

Liu Qingge nods, once and then again a little firmer, and then looks away, still feeling the redness glow on his own cheeks. "I've helped disciples figure out training exercises before," he says, scowling at the floor. There's a couple missing limbs in Bai Zhan, so… "I know how to work around - unusual limitations."

That earns him a wry laugh. "I'm poisoned, Liu-shidi, not disabled."

Aren't you, though? Isn't it the same thing, really? "Either way," Liu Qingge says forcefully. "I can help you with this. I have the expertise."

Shen Qingqiu looks at him and then waves a hand, bringing out a fan. "Alright, alright, I get it. You're the master of physical cultivation," he says with some amusement and motions him towards the tea table with the fan. "I appreciate it, Liu-shidi, thank you. I'll let you know if I need any help."

Liu Qingge gives him a suspicious look. "You are doing at least some physical exercises, right?" he asks. "With your meridians, it's hard to tell if you've been training at all." Judging by his loss of weight, though…

"It's fine, I'm fine," Shen Qingqiu says and sits down, fan quickly coming up. "I'll - work harder. Now, it's boring talking about just this one Shixiong - tell me, Liu-shidi, how are things going in Bai Zhan?"

With a scoff, Liu Qingge lets him divert the discussion and tells him what little has been happening in Bai Zhan Peak - training, training, training. In the meanwhile, though, he thinks of all the anatomical studies back in the practice hall in Bai Zhan Peak and thinks about the ways to utilise them in Shen Qingqiu's training. Moves and exercises intended for sword fighters might not be that useful for someone in Shen Qingqiu's position, but stretches are mostly universal. There are only so many ways a human body can bend… right…?

Liu Qingge imagines the ways Shen Qingqiu's body might bend and quickly looks away, already regretting everything and cursing his sister for putting the idea of helping Shen Qingqiu with his project into his head. It's too late now - and Liu Qingge isn't one to back down.

Liu Qingge meets Yue Qingyuan more on Qing Jing Peak than he does on Qiong Ding Peak these days. It doesn't happen all the time, not even one third of the time - but certainly more than it would otherwise. It seems like these days whenever their Sect Leader has free time on his hands, he chooses to spend it on Qing Jing Peak. Granted, Liu Qingge rarely goes out of his way to visit Qiong Ding Peak, the way he does Qing Jing Peak. It's likely the same for Yue Qingyuan - though the Sect Leader does make it a point to visit each of the other Peaks at least once a month, Liu Qingge isn't always on Bai Zhan Peak when he makes his trip over.

Usually, it's not that big of a deal between the Peak Lords, meeting or not meeting. Schedules of immortals tend to be flexible - months and years might easily go by without them seeing some of their members, as their training and bouts of seclusion took them elsewhere. Liu Qingge is pretty sure that She Qingshu and Ran Qingnan haven't seen each other in decades, between long bouts of research, seclusion and experimentation - sometimes, the others don't see either of them for months on end. As long as there's at least more than six of them in any given Peak Lord meeting, their Sect Leader seems satisfied - and Liu Qingge assumes the others send him reports.

Yue Qingyuan has been… different lately, though. His presence seems heavier, somehow. Sitting there in the backyard of the Bamboo House, cosy on a seat cushion set upon a pair of meditation stones, he seems more like a rock than Liu Qingge has ever felt like - settled and immutable.

"Where's Shen Qingqiu?" Liu Qingge asks, landing behind the Sect Leader.

Yue Qingyuan hums and glances over his shoulder. "Qian Cao Peak," he says and casts a glance at the scrolls Liu Qingge has tucked under his arm. "Is your business important?"

"… not urgently," Liu Qingge admits and wishes he had put the damned things into a box or a sack after all. "You meditate here? What, is it too quiet on Qiong Ding Peak now?" he asks, nodding to where banging and rattling comes from the nearest construction site.

Yue Qingyuan looks ahead, his back straight, shoulders broad - for a moment as immovable as a stone statue. Then he rises slowly, stretching as he straightens up. "There is something soothing about the sounds of industry," he admits. "The knowledge that something is being made, something new - something that will hopefully outlast us."

Well. He's the Sect Leader for a reason, Liu Qingge supposes - he actually needs to think about things like that. "Think Shen Qingqiu got the idea from you and what you did on Qiong Ding Peak?" he asks curiously.

"If he did, then I am glad of it," Yue Qingyuan smiles calmly and casts him a look. "It's good to build towards the future - it means there's a future to be built towards."

Liu Qingge frowns a little, looking away, past the slightly sparser bamboo grove where the hot springs are being erected. As far as he knows, the springs themselves are done, but Shen Qingqiu hadn't been satisfied with just having warm pools in the ground - he wanted a whole house dedicated to the purpose built around them. There would be a tea room and rest room and probably sleeping quarters and everything in it - like a real commercial bathhouse, only smaller and slightly more humbler than the ones Liu Qingge had seen in mortal cities. It's still a type of decadence, though, one the other Peak Lords - Qi Qingqi especially - stick their noses up at.

Now that Yue Qingyuan says it, though… why would Shen Qingqiu build for Qing Jing Peak artificial hot springs if he wasn't going to be around to enjoy them? The rest of it could easily be chalked up to a dying Peak Lord trying to leave an earthly legacy since his ascension wasn't assured, but this… this is definitely more selfish than that. Maybe it was for Shen Qingqiu's new method of cultivation, maybe it was just for personal pleasure and enjoyment. Shen Qingqiu cultivating hedonism, like he said. Either way…

It does imply the intention of sticking around to enjoy it.

Yue Qingyuan is watching him, brows arched, a gentle smile on his face. Liu Qingge clears his throat and schools his expression. "You have something for him too?" he asks, eyeing the wooden box sitting on the meditation stone.

"Something he ordered, I'm only delivering it," Yue Qingyuan admits and clasps his hands behind his back. "It's for his, ah… cultivation."

Liu Qingge arches a brow and glances at the box again. It's sizable and it looks expensive, carved wood lacquered red, like a wedding gift. "What is it? An artefact?"

"I wouldn't dare to venture a guess. I didn't look. Nor will I," Yue Qingyuan says pointedly and clears his throat. "… seeing as he ordered it from the entertainment hall, it might be… tactless."

Liu Qingge swallows, staring at the box with realisation. "Ah," he says. For a moment he's tempted to throw the thing open and look, but - no. "I too got him something," he says and then blushes, looking away. "He's - neglecting his physical training, because he - doesn't have a manual to follow, obviously. So I thought he might have use for some very basic instructions in developing his new - ahem. Forms."

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat, sounding just as awkward as Liu Qingge himself feels when saying, "Basic instructions? What sort?"

"What kind of moves affect which muscles and sinews, what stretches affect what joints, and so on. Basic physical training concepts," Liu Qingge said. "Mostly anatomical studies."

"Ah."

For a moment they stand there, not quite meeting each other's eyes, Liu Qingge feeling the anatomical charts under his arm burn like someone had set the whole stack on fire.

"It's… incredible what he's doing," Yue Qingyuan murmurs. "Even though it's so… unorthodox, creating his own cultivation style… could you do something like that?"

Liu Qingge shakes his head. "I almost killed myself last time I tried to come up with just a new sword form," he mutters. "What he's doing… no. Never." And definitely not with the sort of damage Shen Qingqiu is functioning with. It definitely explains the many Qi-deviations Shen Qingqiu has had over the years, though - breaking whole new ground like that… hell, some of the damage is probably self-inflicted.

"Hm," Yue Qingyuan hums. "Has he… told you why he's…" he trails away and straightens his back - Liu Qingge feels it too, the approaching Qi signature, almost more familiar than his own these days.

Liu Qingge looks up and straightens his back - Shen Qingqiu flies over to them on Xiu Ya, white hair whipping in the wind like a banner.

"I didn't know my Peak had become a common meeting ground," he comments and lands beside them, the sword smoothly flipping in air and into its sheath. "Zhangmen-shixiong, Liu-shidi, what can I do for you…" he trails away, his eyes finding the box on the ground, frown coming to his face.

"Ah, Shidi," Yue Qingyuan says and crouches down to pick the box. "This came for you - madam Jinlan sends her regards."

"… ah. Good," Shen Qingqiu says faintly, staring at the box as though he expects it to bite, and then shakes his head, looking at Liu Qingge. "And you?"

"I - here," Liu Qingge says and thrusts the scrolls at him. "See for yourself."

It's only then he realises that Shen Qingqiu's hands aren't empty - he's already holding a cultivation manual in his hands. Two of them, actually - and one of them Liu Qingge knows very well, as half of the disciples in Bai Zhan have a copy. It's a cultivation manual for those with Heart Demons. The other one… going by its thickness alone it must be a medical cultivation manual.

Ah, right. Of course. Dual Cultivation is technically considered a viable medical treatment in some instances… of course he would consult Mu Qingfang about it. That's - good. It's good, it's Shen Qingqiu taking his health seriously, for once.

Shen Qingqiu transfers the manuals into his sleeve and accepts the scrolls, giving them a thoughtful once over, opening one and humming. "Well. This - might come in handy," he mutters, a tinge of red coming to his cheeks. "Ah, thank you, Liu-shidi. It's… appreciated."

Liu Qingge nods and turns away, saving them both from further embarrassment as Yue Qingyuan steps forward with the red box. "Should I take this inside, Shen-shidi?"

"Yes, please," Shen Qingqiu says and gives him a sideways glance. "You didn't open it, did you?"

"No, Shidi, I didn't."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu says with a slight sniff, flipping his white hair over his shoulder, and turns briskly to the bamboo house.

Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan share a look behind his back, Yue Qingyuan arching his brows with a slightly flushed, pleased smile, and Liu Qingge scowling at him with an uneasy, tight feeling in his gut - excitement, he knows, but refuses to acknowledge. Together they turn to follow Shen Qingqiu inside, where the Qing Jing Peak Lord sets the anatomical studies down, taking out the manuals and setting them down as well before turning to accept the box from Yue Qingyuan.

Though Shen Qingqiu looks inside, he's very careful to do it in a way that neither Liu Qingge nor Yue Qingyuan can see inside.

It's a very brief look.

Then Shen Qingqiu slams the box shut and takes a deep calming breath, eyes shut, back very straight. The blush on his face is even more apparent, and Liu Qingge stares at it with horrified dismay, feeling thoroughly punched by the sight of it. Beside him Yue Qingyuan stares at Shen Qingqiu like a man starving.

"… right," Shen Qingqiu says, swallows, and clears his throat. "Right. I guess I need to get to work."

Liu Qingge swallows. This, he fears, will be very interesting.

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu is fine.

Really. He is.

Qing Jing Peak is quiet, aside from the construction. There haven't been any incidents, all his students - except the one missing - are fine. Some of the lessons and personal projects have been put aside for the construction, the disciples pitching in with some of the manual labour, but that is fine. No one minds, with the prospect of a new dormitory, grander lecture hall, and hot springs in their future. Everyone is excited. It's a good, joyous time in Qing Jing Peak.

And Shen Qingqiu is just fine.

Even with a cultivation manual and very concerned Shidi's handwritten report telling him otherwise. 

Well, sure. He has Heart Demons, but going by his experience so far, so does just about everyone else, really! Depression is a Heart Demon - or becomes a Heart Demon? Anxiety is one too. Stress. Sadness. Loneliness. None of which he suffers from, obviously - but Heart Demons are disturbingly easy to slip into an unwary cultivator's mind, it turns out. For one, cultivation makes them mentally slightly… fragile. That's just the nature of the beast, cultivation puts pressure on the mind and sometimes, oftentimes, the mind just can't take it. Also, well, human beings are prone to all sorts of brain issues. Human brains suck at being level and average. That's just how it is.

Shen Qingqiu is still not entirely sure where mental ailment ends and Heart Demons begin, and how closely related they are. Is it an allegory, or are Heart Demons actual… beings that feed off of various mental ailments? Even Mu Qingfang couldn't give a straight answer. Turns out, even in the magical setting of cultivation and demons and immortality, the human brain remains very confusing.

The point is that his brain is fine. Well. He, Shen Qingqiu, is fine. Everything is going well for him, really! He has nothing to complain about! He has a lovely home and incredible life, he's improving the situation for himself and his disciples every day. Soon they'd have hot springs they could use, as they wished, every day! And even ignoring that, he's an immortal cultivator who just so happens to be still on the wealthier side, sitting on a hefty pile of spirit stones! What does he have to complain about? What issues can he have?

Nothing, really.

Aside from the fact that it feels a bit like he's about to lose his mind. Actually, he feels like it a lot. It pretty much feels inevitable even. Maybe he already has! Who knows! His life has absolutely gone off the rails - hell, he's not even sure there ever were any rails to begin with! But that's just - situational. Because his situation is becoming ludicrous!

First, Liu Qingge knows about the Heavenly Pillar and told Yue Qingyuan.

Then both of them got invested with him training for it - which, sure, is definitely required, Shen Qingqiu has asked various professionals about it, and they were all pretty much unanimous in their horror and concern. Preparations are absolutely required. But! Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge's personal concern isn't! And yet Shen Qingqiu has to live with the knowledge that it exists! So much so that Liu Qingge got him anatomy charts?! And Yue Qingyuan oh so helpfully brought him - ugh.

Even though Shen Qingqiu was the one to order the tools from Madam Jialan, the knowledge that Yue Qingyuan delivered them, that he carried them around in a box…

It's all kind of hitting Shen Qingqiu all at once. And it's just the latest of the nonsense. There's still their hunt for Luo Binghe, and Liu Qingge kidnapped Zhuzhi-lang too, and all the rest - Shen Qingqiu now has to deal with daily visits from their Sect Leader or the War God, and it's just - it's starting to feel a bit much, alright?! And it doesn't help that Shen Qingqiu has several increasingly complicated and concerning subplots and side missions going on, not the least of which is his stupid reputation as supposed Human Cauldron.

Why is all of this being piled on him?! Liu Qingge is a future harem member too, alright?! Why doesn't he have to deal with any of this bullshit?!

Shen Qingqiu tries for a bit of meditation to calm his frazzled nerves and ends up wanting to throw another tea set to the floor.

All he can really think about is the red box with seven… objects inside, waiting for him to put them into use. Which he should be putting to use. Which he -

Can't even look at without wanting to die of embarrassment.

He's never owned anything like it - he's never even thought about owning something like it! Sure, he's a hot-blooded male, he takes care of his business, but he'd never needed anything more than his hand! Well, actually, he, uh… hasn't been... But he used to! It's just, Shen Qingqiu's body is nice in the way that such urges can be ignored the same as things like hunger or tiredness. If you don't want to deal with it, well, cultivation takes care of all of it! So handy!

In his last go-around Shen Qingqiu had pretty much became celibate, and for a good reason - with Shen Jiu's reputation and all the assumptions everyone made about him, it had been just all around safer to show abstinence. It had been nice, not having that kind of distractions. Now… it turns out it carried over to his second save. And then some.

Character: Shen Jiu, Shen Yuan, Shen Qingqiu
Titles: Qing Jing Peak Lord, Xiu Ya Sword, the Moonlit Lotus, Boundless Human Cauldron
Cultivation: Spiritual Cultivation, [progress plot to unlock]
Status Effect: Major Meridian Damage, Poison (Without a Cure), Minor Yin-Yang Imbalance, Heart Demons (Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Impostor Syndrome, Dissociation, Anxiety, High Stress), Libido Suppression
Coolness level: 2270
Special Skills: Otherworldly Knowledge, Denial, Manipulation
Special Items: Fake Jade Guanyin, Mutton Fat Jade Xiao, Gifted Fan From Liu Qingge, Luo Binghe's First Fan, Kintsugi Tea Set, Jade Hairpin, Luo Binghe's Last Fan, Mutton Fat Jade Sex Toy Set
Special Weapons: Xiu Ya Sword, White Hair of Tragedy, Reputation

The effort it took to get the System to display even that much information was frankly ridiculous - but not as ridiculous as the information displayed!

Those titles! What Moonlit Lotus? Boundless Human Cauldron isn't a title! And the Heart Demons - he has more than Yue Qingyuan! What Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, since when? Depression, Impostor Syndrome and High Stress he gets, he definitely has those - but Anxiety? Dissociation? Since when? And the skills too! He's not manipulative! Denial isn't a skill! Argh!

The only thing in the whole sorry profile that's actually useful is the information about Libido Suppression. Being celibate and restrained is one thing - having an actual status condition is something else. It explains some things about his own reactions to some things. Or rather, lack thereof. Because now that he thinks about it - it is… a thing.

He hadn't exactly been an aloof immortal master untouched by earthly desires in his original life, after all. He'd been a fairly young very human male, he jerked off, he had urges, it was… honestly kind of embarrassing, really. 

Thinking back to it, it's been a bit of a relief, without the urge to jerk off all the goddamn time - Horny Shen Yuan had terrible taste and worse decision-making skills. He'd read Proud Immortal Demon Way, after all - and as much as he'd like to deny it, one doesn't read 6000 chapters of smut unless they're at least a little bit into it. It's been pretty nice without those kinds of… urges. And being able to go to sleep without making a mess first is frankly a highly underappreciated skill! As Shen Qingqiu he can just put his head down, decide that it's time to sleep and snap, he's out like a light. It's wonderful.

Maybe that's why Yue Qingyuan has Libido Suppression going on too. Makes things easier.

… except for when you have some hardcore sexy times ahead of you and you just can't get into it.

"System, how do I remove - that - condition?" Shen Qingqiu asks reluctantly, pointing at the Libido Suppression tag.

[Libido Suppression is a self-inflicted status effect.]

"I know that - what I don't know is how to get rid of it. Come on, you can sell me something to get rid of it, right?" Shen Qingqiu asks, shifting where he sits, extremely uncomfortable with just asking for it.

The System seems to think about it for a long moment. Then…

[Would you like to buy Generic Aphrodisiac for 50 B-points?]

Shen Qingqiu stares at the screen incredulously. "... Did you just tell me to use fucking Viagra?!" he demands. When the System doesn't deign to answer, he narrows his eyes and asks, "Would I need Dual Cultivate to get rid of the Aphrodisiac?"

[Generic Aphrodisiac is a low-level elixir with a timed effect. No actions are required for the effect to pass.]  

Huh. That's actually… not as bad as Shen Qingqiu thought. Usually the System doesn't waste a chance to try and screw him over. Sure, Proud Immortal Demon way has a lot of papapa potions, poisons and pollens - some of which the characters used more or less recreationally. Not all of them lead to Fuck or Die situations. Just most of them. The System could've easily offered something a whole lot worse.

Hmm… well, he does have a lot of points to spend… still more than 4000 B-points, and not a lot to spend it on…

"No, not right now," Shen Qingqiu decides. With his luck, the General Aphrodisiac would come in the form of a cloud of sex pollen in his face and not anything as sensible as a pill in a bottle. With some privacy and proper silencing and barrier seals, though… "Make a note of it, though, I might take you up on it later."

[(〃°3°〃)]

Ridiculous.

Shen Qingqiu runs a hand down his face and then stands up and turns to face the box. It's just sitting there, on the side table, like some kind jewellery box. And, in a way, it is. The things inside, made of beautifully polished white jade, with bases carved like some exquisite statues meant to be displayed… 

Shen Qingqiu stares at the box for a long moment, trying to imagine himself putting them to use. He takes a deep breath and steels his resolve...

And promptly turns away, his face bright red. "Yeah, I'm going to try some yoga first."

Yoga doesn't exactly exist in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way, but it also sort of does. Sort of. It's one of those things Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky definitely didn't do any research on, though. There's none of the philosophy or theology, none of the spiritual aspects beyond very superficial lip service paid to their general existence. The exercise form of it though...

There is a thing that's like a bastardised amalgamation between your usual 21st century exercise Yoga and Tai Chi, but make it sexy - a  special brand of martial arts practised by Luo Binghe's many wives. The Salutation of Heavenly Bodies - it's… pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Dance of provocative and suggestive poses, aimed to titillate. Displays of it were very much enjoyed in original Luo Binghe's palace - many orgies were started by them.

Shen Qingqiu is not going to learn the Salutation of Heavenly Bodies, definitely not. But… taking some inspiration isn't that bad, right? There's a manual about the martial arts in Qing Jing Peak library, taking a look can't hurt. With Liu Qingge's anatomical charts and exercise suggestions thrown in, he can figure out… something to get him started. He doesn't need to actually do anything. He could just… mentally browse the options. Right?

Right.

So, making damn well sure no one could see him, he sneaks the Manual of the Poses and Steps of the Salutation of Heavenly Bodies out of Qing Jing Peak library, taking it to the Bamboo House for a closer look.

It's… pretty much just badly drawn softcore porn, and not trying to hide it. Shen Qingqiu leafs through the manual in the privacy of his own house, all doors and windows very firmly shut, and it still makes him want to hide behind a fan. After the initial embarrassment passes, though…

Yeah, he can tell that it probably does help with the, ah… flexibility of those who practise it. Some of the poses are - pretty impressive. Others more so. A few are very adventurous. He definitely will never be able to bend his hip that way - but it probably would, ah, help? If he could. He's not a contortionist, though, nor is he wanting to become one. But… there are a few poses that look more like yoga that might be useful to try. If… if he could get over the sheer humiliation of actually doing so.

Shen Qingqiu battles with his blushing embarrassment and his practicality over his future, and somehow loses to a completely unexpected opponent of an art critic.

The manual is really badly drawn. Though the reader can see what the poses intend, in about half of the drawings he gets the sense that the author didn't actually understand that breasts tended to obey the law of gravity. The artist also couldn't draw feet or hands, at all. Also bending the spine that way probably did some actual damage. One pose looked like the lady in it had a straight up broken neck. And the faces, ah. Poor girls. If there was a model for the drawings, the artist did them dirty.

The teacher in Shen Qingqiu itches for a brush and red ink to mark each and every of the many, many errors he can see. The author of the manual is probably long dead, and probably wouldn't have cared about his critique even if he was alive, but still…

Shen Qingqiu satisfies the annoyed teacher in him by getting some paper and his brushes and inks.

His first sketches come out… unsatisfactory. Though he definitely has a better grasp of art basics than the original author, thanks to the system automatically giving him Shen Jiu's abilities and almost decade of experience of using those abilities, the poses are simply too… unusual. Nothing like he's ever painted before. Shen Qingqiu hardly ever painted people, and when he did, they were usually only distant figures, and rarely did anything more complicated than sitting down.

For a moment he's tempted to get one of the disciples to pose for him - but yeah, no, absolutely not, terrible idea. His reputation is bad enough, and there is no way he's going to make any of his students do - that. No, best he does it himself.

Shen Qingqiu is halfway through contorting himself into a pose that his body simply cannot do while also wearing five layers of robes - when he realises that he's actually trying one of the poses from the damn manual after all.

[Physical Breakthrough 18%.]

"You," Shen Qingqiu points at the window, "are mocking me."

Then he shucks off his robes and grabs a bunch of empty mulberry papers to draw a couple of new talismans. With a shimmering, slightly watery mirror-illusion hovering in the air across the office, he then tries the pose again.

The next day - and Liu Qingge - finds him aching all over, with a stack of sketches and only half of an idea about what he's doing. Not that Shen Qingqiu lets Liu Qingge look at the sketches, no, his face wouldn't be able to handle it. Even if he hadn't bothered to give his sketchy self a face in the drawings he'd made, it's pretty obviously him doing the poses, and if Liu Qingge saw - yeah, no, absolutely not.

Liu Qingge takes one look at him and just knows. "You've been training," he says.

"Hm?" Shen Qingqiu asks, waving at his face with a fan, and privately missing modern painkillers. Does Qian Cao Peak know how to make muscle relaxants…?

Liu Qingge eyes him with a narrow-eyed scowl and then reaches for a qiankun pouch at his waist, bringing something out of it. It looks like a lump of slightly bluish rock or metal. "Here - try this."

Shen Qingqiu hesitates, giving the thing a suspicious look, but accepts the thing, whatever it is. The moment his fingers touch it, he knows what it is. Against his fingers it feels like a block of ice.

"Oh," Shen Qingqiu murmurs and just barely keeps himself from putting the thing against his crotch, where he's pretty sure he'd sprained something. Instead he puts it against his throbbing knee and sighs. "Thank you, Shidi."

Liu Qingge watches him with a frown and then goes around him, putting a palm against his back. The noise he lets out is pure disgust. "You didn't stretch at all beforehand, did you?" he demands and begins transferring Qi not into Shen Qingqiu's meridians, but into the aching muscles in his lower back.

"I'll know better next time," Shen Qingqiu groans and leans into his hand. The Qi feels somehow hot and cold at the same time, and it's absolutely heavenly. It's like instant deep tissue massage, oh god. "I didn't know that Bai Zhan Peak taught healing techniques."

Liu Qingge scoffs, his hands moving up to Shen Qingqiu's shoulders, leaving behind tingling, tenderised relaxation. "With the level of physical training we do, we need to know this much at least. Soothing strained muscles and sprained joints is mandatory for physical cultivators."

"Mmh," Shen Qingqiu hums, wanting to comment on how wordy the man is being, but the relief as the crink in his neck relaxes takes all his attention. The relief is so great that when Liu Qingge's hands touch the bare skin of his neck, he doesn't even object. His strong, rough thumbs pressing against the sides of his spine - ah.

By the time Shen Qingqiu manages to gather his brain from the puddle on the floor, Liu Qingge has moved onto sorting out his feet, pulling off his shoes without shame in order to get at Shen Qingqiu's probably swollen ankles. "Ah, Liu-shidi, that isn't necess -"

As Liu Qingge rubs his strong fingers across the faintly throbbing ankles and soothes their ache, it takes actual effort for Shen Qingqiu to not collapse on the floor. Whatever his face does at the feel of it, it makes Liu Qingge freeze staring up at him, his face going a little red. For a moment they're frozen, staring at each other - then Liu Qingge does an abortive motion of first almost dropping his foot, then grabbing a firmer hold of it, and then just sort of - dithering there, on the line between dropping the foot and holding on.

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat and tries for an in-character scowl. "That's quite enough," he says, and it sounds pathetic even to his ear. "Thank you, Liu-shidi."

Liu Qingge puts his foot down like it burns, and Shen Qingqiu tries to, with some modicum of dignity, sit up properly.

"Stretch - I'll show you," Liu Qingge says awkwardly and looks away, his face red all the way down his neck. "How to do it properly, I mean."

It takes a moment to parse the words. "Right now? " Shen Qingqiu demands with dismay.

Right then, apparently, because no matter how embarrassing it is, Liu Qingge takes his art seriously. The whole thing is ridiculous, really - the moves Shen Qingqiu was trying to do were already supposed to be stretches - now he's stretching in order to do some stretching? What, does he need to start with a warm up before the stretching for the stretching? And stretching for that warm up? Where does it end?

"What kind of moves were you trying to do, then?" Liu Qingge asks from behind him where he's applying pressure.

Shen Qingqiu makes a face at his knees. "Never mind, Liu-shidi," he grumbles.

Liu Qingge scoffs and lets him up from the stretch. "I don't care what they're for or how they look - I care about you not messing up your own form by doing things badly. Your body is in a bad enough state without you doing damage to your joints on top of everything else," he says. "Just show me, and I can tell you if it's useful or not."

Shen Qingqiu casts him a glare over his shoulder, shifting his legs which are, again, aching. "I'm figuring it out," he says. "You don't need to -"

"I want to help," Liu Qingge says, glaring right back at him. "I'm the expert on physical cultivation - there's no one else in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect with more experience than me. You can't claim I can't help you figure it out."

No, he can't deny that. He also can't deny that it would be humiliating beyond belief.

Though nothing is quite as humiliating as the fact that Liu Qingge somehow knows the size of Luo Binghe's Heavenly Pillar and has, correctly, guessed the difficulty Shen Qingqiu might have taking it.

"Ugh," Shen Qingqiu mutters, covering his face with his hands. "Fine - but if word gets out about this, I will literally murder you."

"Tch," Liu Qingge says, obviously not believing a word of it, and stands up, arms folded and ready. "Show me."

Shen Qingqiu stands on shaking knees, kicking his feet a little to get a feeling back to them, and then goes to his sketches. Over the course of the previous day, he'd distilled the Salutation of Heavenly Bodies down to about thirty poses, which he'd… stripped down of their more suggestive elements, trying to make it more like Yoga-Tai-Chi and less like an invitation to an orgy. He'd been helped along the way by the System, which had given him Physical Breakthrough Points every so often, which Shen Qingqiu had taken as indication of which poses were actually beneficial and which weren't.

It's a bit of a mess still, but it seems like something that might be… not too humiliating to practice. And it would definitely make his hips more flexible, judging by the strain he was left with. He even has a sort of idea of an order to do them in, like Tai Chi, which would make it look more like shadow boxing and yoga and less like… yeah, that.

Liu Qingge looks over the sketches, and he must've flipped on some professional gym-bro setting, because suddenly he seems utterly above such things as embarrassment. Shen Qingqiu meanwhile kind of wants to die, looking everywhere except at Liu Qingge's face as he leafs through the pages, taking in each pose in turn.

"These are intended to enhance flexibility and activate your lower dantian?" Liu Qingge asks, eyeing each pose in turn.

Too embarrassed to speak, Shen Qingqiu makes a noise of vague agreement, and takes out his fan. It's, as it happens, the fan Liu Qingge gave him.

Liu Qingge nods determinedly. "Right. This one, get rid of it - it will only ruin your knees and ankles," he says and hands him one of the poses before motioning at another one. "This one - the foot placement will mess you up, they need to be aimed either outward or straight forward, not inward… this one needs to go deeper, or it won't do anything for you. Do this one, right now, I want to see where you rest your weight."

Shen Qingqiu stares at him for a moment, eyeing the page he's showing. It's one of the more adventurous twisty ones which did a number on his neck. "Ah. Well…" Shen Qingqiu hesitates, looking away. It was one thing to do the poses by himself, another for Liu Qingge to see him.

But then, the guy was… basically a gym bro, and this is exercise, so… maybe it was alright? Embarrassing exercise-related things probably happened all the time on Bai Zhan Peak. "Fine, but if you ever -"

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Liu Qingge says impatiently and motions him to get to it.

With an embarrassed sigh, Shen Qingqiu takes off his outer robes and then, slightly more embarrassed, his inner ones too, until he's just in slacks and undershirt. Liu Qingge folds his arms and steps back to watch, his face set in the most professional looking scowl.

This is so OOC, Shen Qingqiu thinks miserably, and then with increasingly shaking knees contorts himself into the pose.

"Definitely not," Liu Qingge says firmly and steps forward. "Eyes straight in front, lower your shoulders," he says, putting one hand on Shen Qingqiu's shoulder and using the other to turn his head. "Drop your weight - lower, lower - there. Where do you feel the strain?"

"Everywhere?" Shen Qingqiu groans, but drops his shoulders. "Knees - my neck? Back - mostly my knees."

"Roll your weight a little to the front -" Liu Qingge says while pushing him with his knee, both hands on Shen Qingqiu's shoulders now. "Where do you feel it now?"

Huh. "Ahem - elsewhere?" Shen Qingqiu manages, blushing.

Liu Qingge snorts and nudges him with his knee. "Shen Qingqiu, stop being an idiot. Where do you feel the strain?"

"My groin, alright?" Shen Qingqiu mutters and then looks down. It actually doesn't feel that bad, either. "The muscles around my - lower abdomen. Mostly on the left side."

Liu Qingge hums, satisfied. "Now try it the other way around."

Shen Qingqiu does, now knowing a little better how to situate himself. The strain lifts to the other side - he can definitely tell what particular part of the anatomy this pose was supposed to exercise.

Liu Qingge pats his shoulder and steps back, picking up the stack of sketches. "I think it's best I take a look at all of them and make sure you're getting the most out of them. They're modified from the Salutation of Heavenly Bodies, right?"

"How the hell do you know that?" Shen Qingqiu demands, standing up with some relief.

"My sister practices it," Liu Qingge says and gives him a look.

Shen Qingqiu blushes - the knowledge that the Salutation of Heavenly Bodies is generally practised by only women passes between them, unspoken but very much heard. "It was the closest thing to what I - require," Shen Qingqiu mutters, looking away, awkward.

"Sure," Liu Qingge says non-judgmentally. "Now, try another pose, and I'll tell you how you're doing it wrong."

He really does too, mercilessly criticising each and every move Shen Qingqiu makes in the exact way Shen Qingqiu wanted to criticise the original manual's art work. This is much more helpful, though. By the end of it, Shen Qingqiu has reached a new level of exhaustion and now has a set of 28 poses, which Liu Qingge arranges into an order with barely any effort, redesigning the whole set to provide best benefit. The man even helps him come up with transitions between poses, to help relax strained muscles and to ease them into the next pose with least setbacks and greatest efficiency.

It's still embarrassing beyond belief, but...

[Liu Qingge's Character Complexity has been enhanced! Liu Qingge's Affection Level has increased! +10! Physical Breakthrough 29%! You have unlocked a Secret Mission, "The Unorthodox Method". Would you like to activate the mission?]

Yeah.

The next day, feeling like he's been ran through a wringer and like someone's lit his gut on fire, Shen Qingqiu has a nice private freak-out about the whole thing, his mind going in circles of what the fuck, what the fuck, how is this my life, what the fuck am I even doing, what the fuck, what the fuck?!

The System, as per usual, isn't very helpful - but, more tellingly, it's not bitching at him about being OOC either. Which is in and of itself suspicious! Sure, Shen Qingqiu had unlocked his OOC feature a whole lifetime ago, and the System hasn't been exactly that much against him since he gained Junior VIP status, but still! How is Shen Qingqiu doing sexy yoga in front of Liu Qingge in any way okay? What even is his in character percentage at this point, is it even working anymore?

[In Character Percentage 74%.]

Oh god,  it's even worse than - wait, what? "How the hell is it 74 percent?" Shen Qingqiu demands incredulously, motioning at the sketches he'd been reworking, the accursed yoga manual the System wants him to do for [The Unorthodox Method] side quest. "How is any of this even a fraction of in character?!"

[It is 74% in character according to the new criteria established by "Headcanon is Fanon only until proven Canon!"]

Shen Qingqiu stares at the window, his face concorting as he tries to parse that. New criteria? Does he have new In Character criteria? But… "No, no, wait, I've been trying to stay in character with Shen Jiu - not change what being in character means! And I'm definitely not being in character with the original Shen Jiu right now!"

[Criteria for In Character Shen Jiu is no longer applicable.]

"Yes, I get that, but I'm trying to be like he was, not like -" Shen Qingqiu trails away, feeling weirdly off put and slightly suspicious. "You - aren't saying that my edits, they're… they're changing what Shen Jiu was like? Or how he was perceived - the Headcanon mission, is it… affecting the narrative?"

[Please continue your efforts!]

It's as good as an agreement from the System.

Shen Qingqiu blinks as the window closes itself, staring for a moment where it hung and then leaning back, disturbed.

Of course he knew he was affecting things, he was actively trying to affect things, he was trying to change the plot. But for the changes he was making in the present to change how the past was being perceived too, that's… he's not sure how he likes it. He likes the idea that he might be actually changing things in Shen Jiu's background even less - that his very OOC behaviour is becoming more and more in character, because his Headcanon is overwriting the canon…

What does that mean for Shen Jiu's past? For the things that had happened to him - the things he'd done? Sure, there were things in Shen Jiu's past that hadn't made it into the canon, and those things kind of support the altered narrative - like Shen Jiu's spy network, and the things he did for his lady spies - but…

For him to be able to basically perform sexy lady yoga in front of Liu Qingge, the original goods' most hated rival, and for it to be 74% in character… Shen Jiu wouldn't have done that. Right? He wouldn't have. He would've rather died. Right?

Frowning, deep in thought, Shen Qingqiu steps outside, to sit upon the meditation rock, watching the bamboo grove. It had been planted by the original Shen Jiu, the Bamboo House had been built by him - the Qing Jing Peak had been managed by him. Shen Qingqiu, who favoured female disciples to the point of coming across as predatory, who feared men to the point of… well, phobia, and who took out that phobia abusively. But then, why make Ming Fan his head disciple, while beating Luo Binghe up? What made one favoured and the other detested?

In the headcanon Shen Yuan is rewriting the canon with, Shen Qingqiu remains a complex and uptight person, but slightly to the left, keeping his distance to everyone except the very few that managed to somehow worm their way into his circle. Liu Qingge, who was supposed to have died, was now one of his closest confidantes, Yue Qingyuan, who filled Shen Jiu with anger and betrayal, was another. As much as Shen Qingqiu tried to act the cold and aloof immortal with them, they're under his skin, and Shen Yuan keeps slipping through - and now, somehow… it's In Character?

Shen Qingqiu isn't sure whether to feel relieved or dismayed by how bad an actor he is. He's so bad it's affecting the plot. Again! Gah!

"Shidi?"

Well. It was about time.

"Zhangmen-shixiong," Shen Qingqiu says, glancing at him over his shoulder.

"Is this a bad time? You look troubled," Yue Qingyuan says carefully, approaching the meditation spot carefully.

"No, it's - it's nothing," Shen Qingqiu says and winces. Shen Jiu would've just sent the man running, rather than let himself be perceived this way. Oh well. "Come sit down."

Yue Qingyuan hesitates, watching him for a moment, trying to read his expression. When he finally sits down, it's a slow, careful motion, nearly silent. "I wouldn't wish to trouble Shen-shidi with my issues, if he has troubles of his own."

"It's nothing," Shen Qingqiu says, trying to ignore how his blood courses in his ears, and how his heart beats a bit harder, a bit faster, how he feels like running and hiding. His gut is burning again, like a heart burn, stomach ache, sprained muscle… Shen Qingqiu clears his throat. "How was your morning cultivation?"

"It was fine," Yue Qingyuan says, still watching him, his eyes getting that sad look to them, growing big, soulful. "Shidi -"

"I'm fine," Shen Qingqiu snaps at him. Hah, very in character, that! "I'm fine, Sect Leader, stop pushing. Tell me about your day - how do you feel?"

"... I feel fine," Yue Qingyuan says slowly, pressing his lips together and lowering his eyes, looking awkward and unhappy. "Shen-shidi has helped me greatly over these last years," he then says. "And this Shixiong appreciates it, and always will. But I would not have you ignore your own unhappiness or unease in favour of appeasing mine -"

Shen Qingqiu scoffs, torn between telling him off, telling him to ignore it, and just - telling him. For a moment it's almost an unbearable impulse, to just say, I'm not your Shidi, not really, I'm not Shen Jiu - but obviously he can't, obviously he won't. That doesn't stop the backs of his eyes itching, doesn't stop his heart thundering suddenly harder and harder. Fuck - how is any of this his life? How did this become his life? These thoughts, these preparations he's making - the sheer fucking OOCness of it all…

He really is manipulative, isn't he?

It's that overwhelming feeling again, welling up - so many things are happening, and not quite how he planned. It feels like - like - like he's sinking underwater and can't quite breathe. The pounding in his ears is deafening, and his stomach feels like someone's driving a hot iron through it.

"Shidi!" Yue Qingyuan calls, and Shen Qingqiu realises that, first of all, he can't breathe. He can't breathe. He really can't breathe. He tries to force himself to draw a breath, but his lungs won't listen to him, his body refuses to follow his orders, and he can't, he can't - he really can't -

And then the Qi-deviation hits him.

Chapter Text

There was a time when Shen Qingqiu's Qi-deviations had been more commonplace. There was one every year, sometimes several times a year, ranging from mild to severe, from ones that passed on their own to ones that required medical intervention. They were so common that the Peak Lords got used to them - so common that a few got annoyed with them, with their irregular but still annual disruptions.

In the last few years, though…

Yue Qingyuan has gotten complacent, enjoying the relative security of Shen Qingqiu's condition. Between Without a Cure and Liu Qingge's regular monitoring of his condition, Shen Qingqiu had been… while not fine, then at least safe from ending up in that state again. His passions were calmer, his self-training less rigorous, and he was a little less withdrawn - all things that had clearly lessened the risk of Qi-deviations. Because he hasn't had one in years now.

Yue Qingyuan has allowed it to lull him into a false sense of security. Shen Qingqiu wasn't fine by any means, the Without a Cure came with its own issues - but at least this one deadly ailment had lessened. He'd let himself relax.

And now here they are, with Shen Qingqiu Qi-deviating once more. And though it has seemingly only left Shen Qingqiu unconscious and unmoving, by all appearances just sleeping… it's clear that this time it's not mild at all.

Mu Qingfang looks grave after his initial examination. "It's largely mental - emotional. It might also have spiritual aspects, it's hard to say, with how deep inward he's turned," he says as they stand over Shen Qingqiu's bed, where the man himself lies, deathly still and barely breathing. "I was expecting it to happen, but not this soon."

"Mu-shidi expected this?" Yue Qingyuan demands to know.

"Shen-shixiong is finally taking… certain steps to improve his own condition," Mu-shidi explains delicately. "But he's always been prone to overreaching and overworking himself, as Zhangmen-shixiong well knows. Shen-shixiong has pushed himself to the limits, again." He shakes his head. "I hoped that his improvement in the last few years was a good sign, but… I suppose it was only a matter of time."

Yue Qingyuan sighs, frustrated. "Is there anything we can do for him?" he asks, turning his gaze to Shen Qingqiu's face. It looks so pale, so still…

"With any hope, he will work his way through the mental blockages within the day," Mu Qingfang says. "And then proceed to wake up on his own. If this lasts longer than a day, then we might need to take some steps. For now he's not in physical danger, so we'll watch over him and keep an eye on his meridians and… hope for the best."

Yue Qingyuan runs a shaking hand over his face and then nods. It's how things had gone previously when Shen Qingqiu had a Qi-deviation of such nature. It just… had been so long. "I hoped this was behind him by now," he murmurs.

"So did we all," Mu Qingfang agrees and pats his shoulder. "I assume Sect Leader will be watching over Shen-shixiong for now?"

"Of course."

"I'll inform your Head Disciple and the other Peak Lords then," Mu Qingfang says and pats his shoulder again. "As Shen-shixiong's Qi-deviations go, this isn't all that severe so far. He's pulled through much worse."

"I know," Yue Qingyuan sighs and sits on the side of Shen Qingqiu's bed, reaching over to brush aside a strand of white hair. "But it never gets any easier. Thank you, Mu-shidi."

"Send for me if anything changes," Mu Qingfang says, and bows his way out of the room.

"Is Shizun going to be alright?" Yue Qingyuan hears Shen Qingqiu's Head Disciple asking nervously.

"For now he's as well as it's to be expected," Mu Qingfang says. "Now, show me to the kitchen - I have some tea for your Shizun for when he wakes up that needs to be specially prepared…"

For a long moment, Yue Qingyuan sits there silently, watching Shen Qingqiu's face, following its lines and its contours. Had his cheekbones gotten sharper lately? His neck looks thinner too. Yue Qingyuan knows Shen Qingqiu has started favouring inedia, and it's likely been… years since he last indulged in food, but… it's clearly not working perfectly for him.

"Shen-shidi," he murmurs and daringly takes Shen Qingqiu's hand in his. As always, his fingers are cold, his wrist bony. It feels fragile in Yue Qingyuan's hands, like he's holding a featherless bird, hollow-boned and vulnerable. One wrong move, and…

Yue Qingyuan gently rubs warmth into the lax fingers before turning the hand to feel at Shen Qingqiu's wrist and pulse. Though he doesn't have Mu Qingfang's expertise or Liu Qingge's natural talent where it comes to the feel of energies inside the human body, he knows the flow of Shen Qingqiu's Qi in the state of Qi-deviation. The stuttering, pulsing power with nowhere to go, trying to break out but unable to, because for years Shen Qingqiu's cultivation was aimed inward. Like he was safeguarding his own power, jealous and paranoid about having it taken away from him.

A former slave's desperation, Yue Qingyuan had once thought. He'd been the same, really - in a way, he still is. He too safeguards his power, suspicious about giving anything away. It had taken him many years of cultivation with Heart Demons to understand it, though - and he's sure he still doesn't, fully. But he understands this.

In the streets, you didn't give away a shred of power if you had any choice. Be it a sharp rock or bit of food or street you had begging rights in, you didn't give it up without a fight. Secrets, especially personal secrets, were even more tightly guarded, because they could easily become weaknesses, and a weakness in the hands of another is a power they have over you. Slaves have so little to begin with.

Of course, Shen Qingqiu now has other reasons to turn his cultivation inward and keep it secret, but… maybe that's where it began. It makes sense. It's likely part of the reason why Yue Qingyuan himself is so… incapable of sharing certain things.

"I wanted to tell you," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, closing the cool fingers between his hands. "That I had a good morning. There haven't been any appeals for your time in over a week, and I was so relieved. I had a dream about the past, and it was a good one for once. We're no closer to finding Luo Binghe, but… I thought today would be a good day. I wanted to spend it with you, in peace and quiet."

Shen Qingqiu doesn't answer, he barely even seems to be breathing. It's certainly quiet. Too quiet.

Yue Qingyuan bows over his hand he's holding, and then settles to wait and watch.

Liu Qingge comes not an hour later, bringing with him a stack of manuals and a deeply unhappy scowl. "How is he?" he says as a way of greeting, eyes scanning the room sharply, quickly finding Shen Qingqiu on the bed.

"Still out of it," Yue Qingyuan says, looking up and then down at the books. "Liu-shidi… brought reading?"

They're martial arts manuals, of course - most of them very basic and beginner level martial arts manuals, at that.

"For him, for his - project. For when he wakes up," Liu Qingge says impatiently and marches over to the bed, quickly reaching past him to grab Shen Qingqiu's wrist, feeling his pulse for a moment. "Is it not physical? He's having a mental breakdown?"

"That's what Mu Qingfang said," Yue Qingyuan says slowly, leaning back a little to give him room, watching his face carefully. Liu Qingge looks both disturbed and surprised - like he was expecting something else. "It's a mental blockage of some kind. Why - do you know something about it?"

"I was working with him yesterday on his physical cultivation - not like that," Liu Qingge says with a scoff and slight blush, at Yue Qingyuan's arched brows. "He's trying to come up with a basic move set for activating the right meridians for his… new method of cultivation. It inflamed his lower dantian - I thought it was fine, though, since he can't channel as much Qi as he once could."

"I… it might've exacerbated the issue," Yue Qingyuan muses worriedly - inflamed danrians weren't unusual in new cultivation practices, but considering everything else... "But no, I don't think it caused this, not on its own. I think this has been coming for a while now. You must've noticed, he's been under some stress."

Liu Qingge hums and moves to set the martial arts manuals aside. "That's one way to put it," he mutters and runs a hand over his hair. It shakes a little.

Yue Qingyuan turns his eyes to Shen Qingqiu, lying there, so still. "We haven't been helping."

Liu Qingge lets out a noise, half frustrated and half helpless. "No," he mutters and then returns to the bed, standing over it and Yue Qingyuan both. "I - tried to help. I thought I did, I helped him come up with some basic moves... but I might've pushed him past his limits."

Yue Qingyuan looks up at him and then chuckles sadly. "Shen Qingqiu does that all on his own," he says. "And you must know, no one can make him do anything he doesn't already want to do. If you feel like you managed to convince him, it's because he let you."

With a scoff, Liu Qingge concedes the point. For a moment they're quiet, staring at Shen Qingqiu, his pale face, his white hair spilling over the pillow like snow.

"I'm going to find that Head Disciple of his," Liu Qingge then mutters and turns away. "I need some strong tea."

They end up watching over Shen Qingqiu together, as the hours wane and day grows later. Neither of them sleep that night, nor do they talk much - there's not much to talk about, here. Though they do make use of Shen Qingqiu's Weiqi board to pass the time, neither really pays that much attention to the game.

It's a long night.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't wake up.

"Well, there are a few things we can do," Mu Qingfang muses after performing another examination of Shen Qingqiu, checking both his meridians and his scalp, leaving his hair in something of a disarray. "First, we can simply wait and hope for the best -"

"No," Liu Qingge says firmly. "What else?"

"We can... try to force him awake," Mu Qingfang says a little slower. "Which might have some dire consequences and damage his meridians even further, and is generally not recommended."

"We'll not be doing that either, then," Yue Qingyuan agrees, casting worried glances at Shen Qingqiu's still form. He wants to brush the man's hair, though not as much as he wants to see him wake up. "Is there anything else we can do?"

Mu Qingfang hesitates, looking between him and Liu Qingge seriously. "Well. There is something," he says even slower, slightly reluctant even. "I haven't ever offered it to you as an option before, because in the past your relationship with Shen-shixiong was notably… difficult. But you've been on a much better footing, haven't you?"

"I'd… like to think so, yes?" Yue Qingyuan admits, frowning a little and exchanging a look with Liu Qingge.

"What of it?" Liu Qingge asks, folding his arms.

"There is a way Qi-deviations of this nature can be addressed - if the person having the Qi-deviation has a cultivation partner," Mu Qingfang says delicately 

Yue Qingyuan swallows, his eyes widening.

"What way?" Liu Qingge demands to know impatiently.

"Right now Shen Qingqiu is stuck in a memory, as far as I can tell," Mu Qingfang explains. "Some kind of unsolved issue of his past he can't overcome. There's a very good chance he's stuck in a dreamscape. He might be able to figure it out and find his way through on his own, given time  - but it's well documented that having some… assistance in facing such issues can be highly beneficial."

"You mean going into his mind and helping him face the problem," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, turning his eyes back to Shen Qingqiu.

"You can do that?" Liu Qingge asks Mu Qingfang, eyes narrowed.

"I can assist in forming a bridge," Mu Qingfang agrees. "But the technique is highly intimate - it might reveal secrets Shen-shixiong wouldn't wish to reveal to just anyone. That's why it's never been on the table before, he's always been extremely private and distanced himself from others. Now, however, things are different," he eyes them pointedly - and then turns to Yue Qingyuan. "Shen-shixiong revealed to me previously that he's been... working with Zhangmen-shixiong in these past few years - is that correct?"

Yue Qingyuan feels his face grow hot at Liu Qingge's suspicious scowl. "Not - not like that," he says carefully. "We have been meditating together and - speaking. We haven't cultivated together." Though that was mostly because he was too much of a coward to reveal his own damaged cultivation to Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu himself, though… he'd offered. The offer had been on the table for years now. And Yue Qingyuan had kept declining.

"Ah," Mu Qingfang says, understanding.

"I've cultivated with Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge says, looking between them with a scowl. "Several times. And the Sympathetic Healing, maybe -"

Yue Qingyuan shakes his head. "Shen Qingqiu wouldn't agree to it," he says, absolutely certain.

"How do you know?" Liu Qingge demands.

"Because I have known him since he was two years old," Yue Qingyuan says, casting him a look. "And you don't even know what his life was like before joining the sect. As much as he respects Liu-shidi… there are things he wouldn't want you to know. He doesn't want anyone to know."

Liu Qingge grimaces and looks away - it's telling how quickly he gives up. It's even more telling how frustrated and helpless he looks about it.

Yue Qingyuan gives his shoulder a comforting pat and turns to Mu Qingfang. "Shen-shidi has offered to cultivate together, to help circulate my energies - I refused for… reasons Mu-shidi might be able to guess. I don't know if that makes me trustworthy in this, but we grew up together, I already know most of his past. Some of his secrets I'm already privy to - and would never reveal."

Mu Qingfang draws a slow breath, looking down at Shen Qingqiu thoughtfully. "These kinds of decisions would be easier if the Sect Leader had taken this Shidi's suggestion and made everyone in the sect select their preferred medical cultivation partners," he mutters, rubbing at his forehead.

"This Shixiong will give the matter more thorough thought in the future," Yue Qingyuan promises. "Can we do this?"

Mu Qingfang thinks about it for a moment longer and then sighs. "Well, if Shen-shixiong finds the Sect Leader's presence intolerable, we will know immediately. There can be no true connection without trust. So, for Shen-shixiong's sake… I hope he does trust you "

Yue Qingyuan opens up his eyes not in the grey in-between space of a dreamscape he's expecting - but in a cave. No, a tunnel - man-made, with marks of tools on the walls, man-made pillars holding up the ceiling in paces. A mine, he thinks at first - but no, that's not it either. There's something far too deliberate about the place.

Catacombs - or a dungeon.

Uneasy, he follows the trail of details, where the shape of the walls grows more refined, where the light begins moving. Torches, oil lanterns - and then, a prison, its door flung open.

Inside stands Shen Qingqiu, staring up at a… corpse hanging off the ceiling. It has to be a corpse, being so thin, so wretched, armless, legless, with dirty hair hanging over a face cast in shadow - it's held up by a shackle around the thin waist, another around the neck, keeping it somewhat upright. It can't be alive.

Shen Qingqiu looks ethereal standing there, in clean, pristine Qing Jing Peak colours, his white hair shining brighter than the torches outside the dirty prison cell. Like a beam of moonlight given form, he doesn't belong in this place at all.

"That's not it, that's not it either," he mutters to himself, clearly frustrated, pulling his hands through his already somewhat messy white hair, glaring at the hanging, limbless corpse. "There's something else I'm missing. I've forgotten something, what the hell did I forget…?"

"Shen-shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asks, his voice faint and a little rough in the grimy darkness.

Shen Qingqiu turns to glance at him and then waves a dismissive, almost irritated hand at him. "Tch. What, a last vision before the death scene? A ghost to carry me away? No," he says with a snort. "You're not it. It's something else."

He's… not it? A ghost to carry him - what does that mean? "Shen-shidi, you're having a Qi-deviation," Yue Qingyuan says carefully, shaking his head.

"Yes, yes, I know," Shen Qingqiu says impatiently and moves to circle around the hanging corpse. "That's why I have to figure this scene out, so that I can move from this damned place," he says and with an idle hand reaches to brush aside the corpse's dark, filthy hair. 

Yue Qingyuan's stomach turns to lead and his breath is strangled in his throat by an invisible hand as he sees the face - dirty, beaten, thin, wounded, but still terribly recognizable.

It's Shen Qingqiu.

"Maybe I'm too late in the timeline," the white-haired Shen Qingqiu mutters, tilting his head slightly to the side, white hair spilling over his shoulder as he eyes the face of his own, abused, wretched double. "There's not much left to happen here. Sometime earlier maybe? Hm?"

"What is this?" Yue Qingyuan chokes out, grabbing hold of the doorway to keep himself from collapsing. It's Shen Qingqiu. A dark-haired, nearly skeletal, obviously… ill-used Shen Qingqiu. But how can that be? The Shen Qingqiu he knows clearly has all his limbs - how can this be the past? This can't be the past! It can't!

Then Yue Qingyuan realises with some unease that he hasn't seen Shen Qingqiu's shoulders bare to that extent in decades. How would he know, if he… somehow…?

"Sometime earlier," Shen Qingqiu decides to himself, and then with a careless hand sends the hanging body spinning. Then he snaps his fingers - and the prison cell changes.

Suddenly they're somewhere else, a finer prison cell with brickwork walls and metal bars. The corpse - the body, the double - is there, only this time he has his arms, his legs. Bound up with Immortal Binding Cables, the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu kneels on the floor, his head held up, with blood and bruises all over it. Still abused, but… not quite as badly.

The white-haired Shen Qingqiu crouches down in front of him in a nearly casual way, resting his elbows on his knees. "This would be pretty early on, right?" he mutters. "So, then - options. Options, options, what might've happened now. After being captured, but before… hmm…"

"Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan asks desperately. "Shen Qingqiu, what is this?"

Shen Qingqiu looks up and frowns. "What are you still doing here?" he mutters and stands up. "I don't need you here, you won't do anything. It's something else I'm missing - you're just the tragic element."

"What?" Yue Qingyuan asks and then shakes his head and pushes away from the doorway. "Shen-shidi, this is a dreamscape - you're having a Qi-deviation."

"Yes - I know that - "

"Mu-shidi sent me into your dreams to help you find your way out. I'm not part of this - this scene," Yue Qingyuan says, looking between Shen Qingqiu and the… other Shen Qingqiu. "I'm from the outside. I'm here to help you."

The white-haired Shen Qingqiu stares at him blankly for a moment, and then his eyes widen and he steps back. "Zhangmen-shixiong?"

"Yes," Yue Qingyuan agrees. "I'm here to help you."

"The fuck you are," Shen Qingqiu says, making Yue Qingyuan almost choke on the air he's breathing. Shen Qingqiu stares at him with horror, with incredulity - and then with laughter in his face. "No, you're here to watch - of course you're here to see this. Why didn't I think of it! What's the point of all of this unless there's someone to -" he stops, pressing his hand on his lips, his eyes sharp and bright and terrified.

"I don't -" understand, Yue Qingyuan thinks, but that's not the point - him understanding isn't the point. "I'm not here to humiliate you - I'm not going to - to use this against you. Whatever this is." He casts a slightly nervous glance at the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu on the floor. "I'm here to help you find your way through this. I - just want to help."

The white-haired Shen Qingqiu snorts helplessly at that, sounding slightly hysterical. "Fuck it, this might as well happen," he says, sounding nearly deranged. "Okay, then, Yue Qingyuan. Help me," he says and points to the Shen Qingqiu on the floor. "I need to make this work. How do I make this work?"

Yue Qingyuan shakes his head helplessly. "What is it that you're trying to do, Shidi?"

Shen Qingqiu laughs. "I'm trying to make this make sense," he says and turns to the Shen Qingqiu on the floor. "I need to make this - work. Say this is me in the past - how did he become me?"

"Ah," Yue Qingyuan says, swallowing.

"Also," Shen Qingqiu says, his voice rising, almost becoming bright and cheerful except for the utterly manic tint to this. "These!" he waves his hand and suddenly the room is full of people. "These are also me in the past!"

Yue Qingyuan has to cover his mouth to keep himself from crying.

There's half a dozen different Shen Qingqius in the room suddenly, in various stages of… of destruction. There's the Shen Qingqiu in Immortal Binding Cables - then there's one who's missing his legs right beside him, barely holding himself up with shackled hands. Beside him lies another Shen Qingqiu, missing his hands, leaning onto his elbows instead, trying to crawl away. Fourth Shen Qingqiu lies beside him, with blood on his face, all across his chin - he's choking on it but alive, his arms gone up to his shoulders. Fifth Shen Qingqiu, with a chain around his waist, more blood on his face, missing an eye along with his limbs, his tongue. The last Shen Qingqiu hangs off the ceiling, armless, legless, wretched.

"Somehow this," the white-haired Shen Qingqiu says, scoffing, biting at his thumbnail as he looks between the horrible doubles. "Is me - has to be me. But how did this," he motions at the bodies, "- become me?"

"I - I don't - " Yue Qingyuan whispers, horrified - the only reason he doesn't throw up is because this is a dreamscape, and he doesn't actually have anything in his belly here. "How is this possible?"

"That's the question," Shen Qingqiu says and walks between the doubles, looking at them, perusing them like he's perusing a garden, or a store, examining what it has to offer. "I mean, obviously there's a timeline here, from fully formed and fairly healthy to this," he motions to the body hanging from the ceiling. "So we have a rough time estimate to work with. Something happened somewhere along the way to turn this into… me."

Yue Qingyuan isn't sure which is worse, the horrible scene in front of him, or the flippant, detached way Shen Qingqiu is treating it. "How can this be you?"

"That's the question! Somehow it has to be!" Shen Qingqiu says, throwing up his hands. "You think I would be stuck here if I knew?"

Yue Qingyuan draws a breath, steeling his heart, and tries to work on the problem. Obviously, Shen Qingqiu doesn't know - and yet, he's gotten stuck in it. These are memories, somehow, fractured and clearly incomplete, which Shen Qingqiu is trying to piece together. Yue Qingyuan can only hope that this was a vision, or some kind of illusion - a mental torture someone subjected Shen Qingqiu to, and not… somehow… reality.

No. It can't be reality - all these Shen Qingqius are older than he was when he joined Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. And something like this couldn't have happened afterwards without someone knowing. This can't be real.

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat. "Did someone - let you out?" he suggests. "Did someone help you? Maybe what you're forgetting is a person -"

"I've thought of that - I've gone through everyone who could've been here, from Qiu Haitang to goddamn -" Shen Qingqiu stops, thinking. Then he snaps his fingers, clearly getting an idea. "Oh. Oh that could work, wouldn't it…? Oh, that would - yeah, yeah."

Yue Qingyuan bites his tongue on all the questions he wants to ask as the scene before them changes. With the ease of an artist Shen Qingqiu manipulates it this way and that until he's satisfied - until they're facing a dark-haired Shen Qingqiu who's missing his legs, still bloody from whatever took them, gasping for pained breath on the dirty floor.

Yue Qingyuan almost falls to his knees, shaking all over, staring at the person, the double, on the floor. The remains of his legs have been healed enough that they're not bleeding anymore, but… the injury is fresh, very fresh. The destruction is still - it's horrible. He can smell it.

Illusions don't have smells.

"Right," the white-haired Shen Qingqiu murmurs, moving his hand in the air strangely. "Oh, that's good, yes, let's go with that and that, and…"

A fourth person enters the scene, slowly, sneaking in through the slightly parted door. Dressed in furs and leathers, Yue Qingyuan thinks it might be a demon at first - but the head that peeks from under those furs is not only human, but familiar.

"Shang Qinghua?" he murmurs, confused.

"Shh," the white-haired Shen Qingqiu says and draws Yue Qingyuan out of the way. "Let's see how this plays out."

The strange, fur and leather clad Shang Qinghua closes the cell's heavy door behind him, though not all the way - clearly not wanting to lock himself in. The look he casts on the dark-haired, blood-splattered Shen Qingqiu is full of discomfort and even disgust, and for a moment it looks like he's second-guessing himself, like he's thinking about leaving. He steps forward instead.

"Hey," he says, quiet, barely audible.

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu says nothing, just glares at him and tries to move back.

"I don't have much time and, judging by the look of you, neither do you. He's gone…" Shang Qinghua hesitates. "Well, you know where. I don't know when he'll be back, so - let's be quick about it."

"What do you want?" Shen Qingqiu asks, his voice more scrape than sound - the voice of a man who screamed himself hoarse.

"I, ah…" Shang Qinghua hesitates, licking his lips and then letting out a dry, creaky laugh. "Shit, this is. Never thought that the one person I'd - that it'd be you of all people. Our lives - they haven't gone the way we wanted them to, have they?"

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu just glares at him.

"I'm going to die soon," Shang Qinghua says quietly. "I've… expended my usefulness, and beyond that I have nothing. And you know what he's planning. Soon..." he trails away and lowers his eyes.

"You think I care?" Shen Qingqiu demands. "You think I would ever sympathise with you? You're a rat. Everything coming your way, you deserve."

"Like you don't?" Shang Qinghua asks with a snort and motions between them. "We're both shitty people. We made terrible decisions. You think what's coming to me is fair? It's just as fair for you. But them? All those righteous cultivators up the mountain - your Yue Qingyuan? Do they deserve it?"

Yue Qingyuan lets out a wounded noise and looks at the white-haired Shen Qingqiu, who just shushes him again.

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu glares, helpless and furious. Shang Qinghua laughs, feeble and hysterical. "You know he's going to keep you alive, right? He's going to keep you alive until he's satisfied. And he's never going to be satisfied. He's going to keep taking bits of you, killing people you love, and he's going to reduce you to a ruin - he's done it before! And you're going to live through -"

"What," the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu snarls, "do you want?"

Shang Qinghua stops and draws a breath. "I want to undo it all."

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Impossible."

"No, it isn't - there's a way. It has a cost, but… there's a way," Shang Qinghua says and crouches down before the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu. "I've been researching it for years, digging into what little records the demons keep. It's something like demonic cultivation, but… worse. I think it came from the Heavenly Demons - the early ones. The ones that still remembered things from up there, like how spiritual, primordial cultivation works - and how to corrupt it."

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu eyes him suspiciously, shifting his weight on his hands, leaning back. "What's the sacrifice?"

Shang Qinghua smiles. "Your next reincarnation."

The scene pauses, and the white-haired Shen Qingqiu steps forward, between the two now frozen Peak Lords. "Is that it?" he asks from no-one, looking between the strange Shang Qinghua and the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu. "Does it work? Sacrifice your future reincarnation - to go back in time?"

"Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says feebly. "Shen-shidi, is this - this can't be - what is this?"

"Shush," the white-haired Shen Qingqiu says, waving a hand. "So, Shang Qinghua - the original Shang Qinghua provides the original Shen Qingqiu the solution - isn't that a bit convenient? I mean, clearly he - I - couldn't do much on my own, but… I guess it makes sense, but…" he trails away, leaning his head back. "It feels like a cop-out."

"What are you saying -?" Yue Qingyuan asks, shaking his head. "Shen-shidi, please, this - this can't be real. Please tell me this isn't real."

The white-haired Shen Qingqiu waves a hand at him, staring at nothing, talking to himself. "Okay, so, fine, maybe it works. Not like there weren't other contrivances. But why would the original Shang Qinghua even bother? Why not just leave Shen Qingqiu to suffer his fate - yes, yes, I know it clearly would've worked, but -" he trails away and turns back to look at the echoes of the memory he's trying to work his way through.

The scene resumes, and the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu demands, "Why are you telling me this?"

"It's demonic cultivation in the true, original sense," Shang Qinghua says wryly. "A demonic ritual of sacrifice. Guess what it uses as fuel."

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Ah."

"Pain and suffering," Shang Qinghua agrees and looks him over. "And you're in for a world of hurt. He's going to turn you into a power source the likes of which he doesn't even understand himself."

"Tch. You want to use me to power up your ritual," the dark haired Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Why would you think I'd agree?"

"Because in doing so, you'll get a second chance too. Chance to start from the beginning. Knowing where it's led you - don't you want to change things?"

The scene freezes again. The white-haired Shen Qingqiu lets out a noise of disgust. "Absolutely not," he says furiously. "This is not it - yes, I know what I said, but - I don't like it. This one is wrong. This is not how it worked, this did not happen. Rewind it back to the - yeah."

Yue Qingyuan watches with ever growing confusion and helpless disquiet as time winds backwards before his eyes and the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu demands again, "Why are you telling me this?"

Shang Qinghua laughs weakly and shakes his head. "What do I have left to lose? My life? Your life?" he asks and leans his head back, sighing.

"That doesn't answer the question," the dark-haired Shen Qingqiu scowls.

Shang Qinghua snorts. "I've spent my life making terrible decisions, thinking only about myself, and to hell with anyone who suffered because of it. Look where it got me," he spreads out his arms as if to display himself, and then stands up with a sigh. "I know it's - late. Too late to start thinking about other people now, to start helping, but…" he sighs. "Tell me - what have either of our lives amounted to, except pain and destruction? What have we done, except to make the world infinitely worse by our decisions? Really… you're just about the only person I think has more regrets than I have."

The dark-haired Shen Qingqiu looks down.

"I want to do better," Shang Qinghua says quietly. "Don't you?"

The scene freezes again. The white-haired Shen Qingqiu looks between the two strange Peak Lords and then nods. "Better," he says. "Corny and contrived, but much better."

The scene breaks into misty vapour, as the dreamscape finally disperses, leaving a speechless and still horrified Yue Qingyuan standing with the white-haired Shen Qingqiu in nothingness. Shen Qingqiu whirls around, as though expecting something, eyes narrowed. "That's it?" he demands. "Was that it, am I done here?"

Yue Qingyuan runs a shaking hand down his face. "We're still in the dreamscape," he says.

"Yeah," Shen Qingqiu mutters. "Which means there's still something else, probably. Damn it," he hisses and then turns to face him, his expression growing awkward. "I, ah… I really wish you hadn't come, Zhangmen-shixiong."

"I know you do," Yue Qingyuan says. "But you've been unconscious for a day, and I was worried… I…" he swallows and looks down. "Shen-shidi, what - what was that?"

Shen Qingqiu shrugs helplessly and looks down. "I guess I have to come up with some kind of explanation," he mutters and then shakes his head. "I haven't figured it all out yet - it's still a bit of a work in progress. But I guess… imagine a Shen Qingqiu who made different decisions. He ended up in a different place, doing different things - being a different person entirely. A lot of the decisions he made were bad. They had even worse consequences. His fate was… terrible." He waves his hand at the nothingness. "And you saw where he ended up. Obviously he had some regrets."

"So you - used demonic cultivation… to come back?" Yue Qingyuan whispers.

Shen Qingqiu snorts, shaking his head. "Who knows. Like I said, I'm still figuring it out," he says and looks at him. "I promise I haven't done any demonic cultivation in this life, though."

He is doing unorthodox cultivation now, though. And there's always been something strange about it. Not quite desperation, but… a fervour that wasn't quite normal. That dark-haired Shen Qingqiu, the Shen Qingqiu of the previous timeline… he'd been reduced to a human stick, armless, legless, without even a tongue. All means of controlling his own destiny were taken away, one by one, until there was only a body left.

What was it the strange, alternate Shang Qinghua said - he's going to turn you into a power source...?

How much would you need of a person to remain… to use them as a Human Cauldron…?

Yue Qingyuan looks at Shen Qingqiu and feels furious, helpless tears trailing down his face. "Shen-shidi - who was it that did that to you?"

Shen Qingqiu looks at him. "No one," he says and spreads his arms. "Look at me. I'm fine."

"Shen-shidi -"

"Things are different, Sect Leader," Shen Qingqiu says and then smiles a little. "It never happened. It never will happen."

Yue Qingyuan swallows as Shen Qingqiu reaches to wipe his tears with his cool thumbs. "Everything will be fine," Shen Qingqiu says. "You'll see."

He's usually a much better liar than this.

Chapter Text

Trying to rewrite Shen Jiu's history is bad enough, with just the System breathing down his neck, offering suggestions and giving critique. With Yue Qingyuan there, looking confused and sad and horrified... it's infinitely worse. And that's probably partially why he is there - because it makes it worse. Makes it more dramatic. POV character to react to the horror - oh, but that's juicy, that's dramatic.

Does that mean that Yue Qingyuan has become a character whose POV is being used in writing? What about Luo Binghe - isn't he the main character? Him making an appearance, Shen Qingqiu would've understood, but Yue Qingyuan - that seems just… cruel for the sake of cruelty.

And how is Shen Qingqiu supposed to explain this, huh? How is he supposed to make this seem like anything other than what it is? There's nothing he can say that will make it look or seem better in any way - the only thing he can do is make it worse! Not that he's sure how it can get worse. It's already the worst!

Around them, the mists of the unformed dreamscape are beginning to shift again 

"Shen-shidi…?" Yue Qingyuan asks carefully, and Shen Qingqiu sighs. Ah, Zhangmen-shixiong, you really shouldn't have come.

[Entering scene, "Just Rewards". Please rewrite this scene to reflect the previous additions and to follow previously established continuity!]

Shen Qingqiu braces himself for the worst. Just Rewards - that sounds worryingly like something the original Luo Binghe might be part of. Fuck, he really hoped to keep Yue Qingyuan from seeing the original Luo Binghe - the fact that he saw the man's handiwork was already bad enough!

"What's happening?" Yue Qingyuan asks, looking around. "Another memory?"

"Another memory," Shen Qingqiu agrees, and structures begin growing around them. Walls, floors, shelves decorated with expensive knick-knacks - and a much younger, shirtless Shen Jiu on his knees and covered in bruises, again.

Qiu Manor. Thank fuck.

"Oh," Yue Qingyuan whispers.

Shen Qingqiu draws a deep breath and steps forward to examine the scene before opening his scripting menu that the System had provided for this side quest from hell.

There's not much there - just the obvious.

[Scene opens in Qiu Manor with Young Slave Shen Jiu on his knees. He has bruises on his arms and whip marks on his back.]

Great. So, is this the aftermath of an escape attempt, or some mistake that got punished excessively, or just… Qiu Jianluo being Qiu Jianluo.

Yue Qingyuan lets out a pained noise, staring at the child on the floor. "Oh," he whispers. "Oh no."

"Not helpful," Shen Qingqiu snaps to cover up the wince. He's not sure what's worse, for poor Yue Qingyuan - seeing Shen Jiu's fate at the end of his life… or this terrible start of its downfall. This would be during Yue Qi's year-long forced seclusion, too, and judging by Yue Qingyuan's expression, he realised it too.

Better get this over with quickly so that they can move on.

[Available characters: Qiu Haitang, Qiu Jianluo, Wu Yanzi, Servant 1, Servant 2, Cook 1.]

Shen Qingqiu selects Qiu Jianluo and then eyes the dialogue options.

["What are you still doing here?"; "Can't you do anything right?"; "What were you thinking?"; "Talk to my sister like that again and I'll beat you to death!"]

Delightful.

Running a hand over his face, Shen Qingqiu tries to remember how the scene of the Qiu Manor massacre had gone. It had been in Qiu Jianluo's office - this isn't it. It had started amiably too, sort of, with them talking about Wu Yanzi. This is something else, another scene - a new scene.

With a sinking feeling, Shen Qingqiu selects what he thinks will advance the plot the quickest - without forcing them to watch child abuse.

Qiu Jianluo appears, looking like a wealthy and upright young master… except for the ugly expression. "What were you thinking?" he hisses, standing over Shen - no, over Xiao Jiu, a cane in hand. "Acting so shamefully in front of my important guests?!"

Yue Qingyuan makes a wounded noise, and Shen Qingqiu shushes him.

Xiao Jiu answers, bowing until his forehead is on the floor, "This humble one apologises. He was taken by surprise -"

"Don't talk back to me!" Qiu Jianluo snarls. "It's a good thing my guests took your behaviour as a jest - what were you showing such an ugly face for, eh? Is my sister not good enough for you?"

Xiao Jiu swallows, his head still held down. "This one - didn't think Young Master Qiu would - allow such a thing. Surely the young mistress is much too good for one such as this one."

"What did I just tell you?!"

Yue Qingyuan makes a jerky move to get in the way of Qiu Jianluo's blow, and Shen Qingqiu pauses the scene before it hits.

Ah, okay, now he gets it. This is the scene - an alternate version of the scene - where Xiao Jiu found out he was to be married to Qiu Haitang. Great. But what's so important with this scene? The whole thing was a farce and nothing came from it, except Shen Qingqiu's eventual downfall…

"Shen-shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asks softly, looking confused and distraught.

"What?" Shen Qingqiu asks, looking through what little options he has here - he has no interest in watching Xiao Jiu being abused for no reason.

"What - is there anything I can do to help?"

Shen Qingqiu looks at him and sighs. Yue Qingyuan looks extremely uncomfortable and out of place and rather like he wants to pick up Xiao Jiu from the floor and carry him to safety. Pity he can't. 

"I don't think so," Shen Qingqiu says and turns away. "Let me just try to figure this out, Zhangmen-shixiong."

Yue Qingyuan makes a pained face but steps back, clasping his obviously shaking hands together and bowing his head a little. There'd be consequences of this, Shen Qingqiu knows - the poor man's therapy is going to be ruined by this. There is no point in trying to address it now, though - because this is likely only going to get worse.

And it does. 

Shen Qingqiu runs through the other dialogue options, and they're about all the same bullshit - Qiu Jianluo using any excuse to abuse Xiao Jiu. Not that the Young Master seems to really need an excuse - but he wants Xiao Jiu to think he deserves the punishment, that he's earned it - that it is his fault. Asshole.

Shen Qingqiu ends up having to let one of them play out, arms folded and furious as the scene continues - as Qiu Jianluo rains blows down Xiao Jiu's back, gleeful, deranged expression on his face.

"Much too good for you, you got that right," Qiu Jianluo says. "You think you're going to be her husband? Don't be stupid."

Letting the scene play out finally offers some more options. It's also making Yue Qingyuan look more and more like a kicked dog, but Shen Qingqiu is trying to ignore that the best he can in favour of getting through this.

[Say nothing; "But the Young Master said…"; "I'm not going to stay here!"; "I'm not marrying her!"; "Fuck you!".]

Since all the other options seem like they're just intended to get Xiao Jiu more beat up, Shen Qingqiu goes for the first option, and chooses to say nothing. Not that it would really help, he figures, Qiu Jianluo doesn't need an excuse for further abuse, but still…

The scene resumes.

Xiao Jiu presses his lips together, his eyes flickering slightly as he stares mutely at the floor - he's confused and afraid, but unwilling to tempt more abuse. Qiu Jianluo stands over him for a moment, expectant, and then his expression twists into annoyance. "Too good to talk, now, huh, you wretch?!"

Xiao Jiu bites his lip, and without a warning Qiu Jianluo kicks. It's hard enough to knock the boy to his side and off his knees. With long practice and experience, Xiao Jiu is quick to get back in position, though, grovelling furiously on the floor. His eyes are hard, and his lip is red from where he'd bit it, but he doesn't make a sound.

Someone does though. "Xiao Jiu -!" Yue Qingyuan calls, wails really, making a move to get in between, but of course there's nothing he can do to stop it - it's a memory. Well, not actually even a memory, just a movie scene really.

Qiu Jianluo goes for another kick, and another - by the fourth Shen Qingqiu gets sick of it and pauses the scene. 

"Useless," he mutters. "I need more options - what's even the point of this?" What, exactly, is he supposed to do here? Just show Yue Qingyuan the extent of his childhood friend's abuse? How's that going to forward the plot - beyond giving the man even more things to be chronically guilty about? System, options please!

There are some dialogue options, but none of them are particularly revealing. It's the damn prison scene all over again - he needs to come up with the story here, so that the script options will change.

"Shidi," Yue Qingyuan says, sounding pained, looking between him and Xiao Jiu, frozen in the middle of being kicked.

Shen Qingqiu rubs at his forehead. "Yes, yes," he agrees. "It's terrible, I'm sorry you have to see this - I don't exactly want to be here either," he says. "But I need to figure out this too, apparently. Or else I'm going to end up stuck again."

Yue Qingyuan gives him a look that's full of all kinds of awkward emotions Shen Qingqiu doesn't have the time to parse. He swallows and visibly braces himself. "Shidi forgot something here, too?" he asks, clearly trying to pull himself together, into a helpful mindset. "Shen-shidi, these lapses in your memory… how common are they?"

How common? Either very or none at all, depending on your point of view. "You mean to ask, how much have I forgotten?" Shen Qingqiu asks, casting him a look. "Why?"

"I - don't mean to accuse you of anything," Yue Qingyuan says carefully, casting a look at Xiao Jiu. He doesn't say it - but it's implied in his clear unease.

How could anyone forget a scene like this?

Shen Qingqiu blows out a breath and looks down. It's not like he can say he hasn't forgotten things. Of course, these are things that he never knew in the first place, because these events didn't happen like this, he's making this shit up as he goes, literally, but…

"Is it because of your previous Qi-deviations?" Yue Qingyuan asks, looking back at him. "You… never said there was… permanent damage."

Ugh.

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu answers noncommittally, not having the energy or wherewithal to come up with explanations right now, and turns to look down at Xiao Jiu. It's not so much an issue of forgetting as it is rewriting, though. There's something about Shen Jiu's atrocity of betrothal to Qiu Haitang. It was messed up to begin with, but now he has to make it work with… something. Some change he's made.

As far as he knows, the reason Qiu Jianluo arranged the marriage was mostly so that he could continue controlling the both of them. The marriage kept Qiu Haitang in house, and it kept Xiao Jiu under Qiu Jianluo's thumb. It was messed up on so many levels, really, too many for Shen Qingqiu to count, too many for him to even want to count. But now there has to be something more there.

If it wasn't just the control Jianluo had over the situation or the sadistic pleasure he had over abusing and using Xiao Jiu, then - ah.

Qiu Haitang became a cultivator too, didn't she…

Shen Qingqiu looks up as new dialogue options pop up and makes a face at them. Damn shitty plotline…

["You are never going to leave!", "You are property", "The marriage is an excuse", "You will make my sister strong."]

With a bad taste in his mouth, Shen Qingqiu chooses the last option and folds his arms, glaring at the scene.

It resumes.

"You," Qiu Jianluo says, leaning down and grabbing Xiao Jiu by the hair, janking his head up. "You are nothing. My sister is everything. She's going to be a cultivator one day. She's going to be beautiful, strong, immortal. And you - you will make it so."

Xiao Jiu lets out a pained grunt and his face twists as he fights between the urge to glare white hot fury at his owner and the attempt of acting meek. Qiu Jianluo grins at him, full of malice and shakes his head.

"Oh yes, I know a thing or two about cultivation too, you little shit," he sneers. "More than you. There's a way for one cultivator to draw power from another, to take their spiritual energy and make it their own. Did you know that? Did that charlatan in town tell you why he wants you to go with him? It definitely isn't for the goodness of his heart!"

Xiao Jiu's glare breaks through, and Qiu Jianluo laughs in his face, giving his head another shake. "Human Cauldron," he whispers, his voice dripping with sadistic delight. "Tell me, Little Nine, do you know what Dual Cultivation is?"

Xiao Jiu's eyes widen.

Qiu Jianluo laughs. "You're going to be my sister's Human Cauldron," he says. "All that energy you have, all that spite and passion and talent - you're going to give all of it to her. And you will - if you know what's good for you, you will make her strong. As her husband, you have no other choice."

Shen Qingqiu tsks with disgust. Fucking shitty plotline! But it works with all the rest of the horrible stuff that's been added recently, the whole Boundless Human Cauldron rumours and all of it. Ugh. It makes Shen Qingqiu feel dirty in ways he never has before, but it makes ugly sort of sense. It even adds into the earlier events - with this sort of basis for those rumours… 

Beside him, pale Yue Qingyuan looks like he wants to throw up. Time to end this.

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and pauses the scene with a violent gesture. "I don't think we need to see the rest of this," he mutters and mentally knocks on the System. Is this it, is the scene done? Can they go now, please?!

[Scene viability, 75%. You can enhance this by including another character, adjusting dialogue, or adding more detail or nuance. Inclusion of Qiu Haitang is highly recommended! Would you like to continue?]

Not really! 75% is more than good enough for him.

"Xiao Jiu, I -" Yue Qingyuan says but can't seem to bring himself to continue, looking between him and Shen Jiu with wide eyes.

"Nothing happened," Shen Qingqiu says, uncomfortable and angry and kind of sick. Thankfully the scene breaks around them. "Things - ended before it came to that. Qiu Haitang never even knew," he adds, because of that he's absolutely sure. Whatever the motivations Qiu Jianluo had, Qiu Haitang was blissfully oblivious to them, believing only the best of her brother.

Yue Qingyuan's lips quiver. "I - I'm so sorry," he whispers. "I - I should've never left - I should've - "

Shen Qingqiu waves a hand at him, deeply uncomfortable, and turns away. "It is what it is," he mutters and casts a glance around them. They're back in the mists again. They're not done yet, it seems.

"Is… is that why you…?" Yue Qingyuan asks. "You killed everyone in that house -"

Shen Qingqiu hesitates. In this new version of the canon… eh. "There were plenty of reasons," he says, grimacing. "That was just the latest. And it wasn't everyone," he adds, feeling it is important to clarify. "Only the men."

Judging by the looks of it, it doesn't make it better. Yue Qingyuan looks at him like he's trying not to cry again, swallowing back whatever he wants to say. After all this was over, there'd be so many consequences for this. Yue Qingyuan would be messed up by it all, it would take years to undo the damage, again. Shen Qingqiu isn't looking forward to it, but right now he's too damn tired of all of this to care. He just wants this over.

"Bring on the next scene," he says, and the mists part once more.

It takes three more scenes for the Qi-deviation to be finally satisfied. One with Wu Yanzi, which was basically just him and Shen Jiu threatening to kill each other in their sleep. Another scene in passing where Shen Jiu hid in the Warm Red Pavilion after stealing something from a bunch of Huan Hua Palace disciples. And the last is a scene from when Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan were reunited in the Immortal Alliance Conference, where Shen Jiu killed a bunch of disciples and stole their stuff. In this new version, he picks and chooses his victims carefully - and they're mostly from Huan Hua Palace.

It probably all fits into some kind of narrative, but by the end of it, Shen Qingqiu is a little beyond caring. He's feeling the burn of Qi again, the looming Breakthroughs, and his brain feels beyond scrambled. He just wants it to be over.

In the memory Shen Jiu kills Wu Yanzi, and when he joins Yue Qingyuan there's a calculative look on his face that speaks of plans and hidden motives - and Yue Qingyuan begins his several decades of trauma avoidance and obfuscation. Shen Qingqiu is too tired to even comment on it.

"Shen-shidi..." Yue Qingyuan murmurs, catching him by the elbow as he slumps down.

[The mission, "Qi-deviation of Recollection", is now complete! +200 B-points! Bonus mission, "Spillover" is 60% complete! Secret mission, "Headcanon is Fanon only until proven Canon" is 90% complete! Shen Qingqiu's Character Complexity has been enhanced! In Character percentage 100%! Yue Qingyuan's Character Complexity has been enhanced! Yue Qingyuan Heartbreak Points have increased! +20! You gain additional 100 B-points! Please continue your efforts!]

"I'm so fucking tired," Shen Qingqiu sighs.

"I think it might be over now," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, watching him with big, sad eyes. He looks almost as bad as Shen Qingqiu feels, but his hand on Shen Qingqiu's back is steady and strong. "Are you ready to go back?"

Shen Qingqiu hesitates and then looks up at him. "Not yet," he says and grabs a hold of the man's arm. Yue Qingyuan has biceps for days, but Shen Qingqiu makes a good attempt of digging his fingers in. "I need something from you first, Qi-ge."

Yue Qingyuan swallows. "Yes," he says and his lips shaking as he draws a breath. "Yes, you - you deserve the truth."

… not what Shen Qingqiu meant, but yes. That too. "Well?"

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat and looks away, still struggling. "I - I'm trying to think of a way to put this in a way that won't sound like an excuse," he says with a feeble laugh. "But every way I can think of makes it seem like - like I'm trying to defend myself. And I know there isn't a defence, I know anything I might say won't be enough, won't make it right, but -"

"Yue Qingyuan, I don't care how it sounds," Shen Qingqiu snaps at him. "That's not the point! What I want, what I've always wanted, is an explanation! Even if it sounds like an excuse, then so be it! Just tell me!"

"I tried," Yue Qingyuan says in a choked whisper. "I made it to Cang Qiong Mountain, I breezed through my training as fast as I could, I pushed my limits. I earned the right to choose a sword early, and I thought, this is it. I would choose a powerful blade and then, finally, I'd be strong enough to come back and save you."

Shen Qingqiu does him the favour of not interrupting him. He's heard the story once before, back in Maigu Ridge, and it had made for an awkward, uncomfortable listening back then. Now - now it's making something inside him unclench.

Yue Qingyuan looks at him. "You might've guessed some of it. I think - you must have. You invited me to ride on Xiu Ya, never expecting me to use Xuan Su. You know I can't draw it without risking myself. Did you… guess what might've come about, when I first took Xuan Su in hand?"

"How about you just tell me?" Shen Qingqiu says with a scoff. "Rather than make me do it for you."

That earns him a watery laugh. "I Qi-deviated. Xuan Su was too strong for me, it nearly destroyed me - it ruined my Cultivation. I raged, I couldn't be controlled, and the Qi-deviation refused to pass. My Shizun, the other Peak Lords - I think they tried to help me, but I barely remember it. When I came to, I was locked in Lingxi caves…" he trails away and drags a wet breath, almost a sob. "I was locked there for a year, with no way to get out except to rebuild myself and get out on my own. For a year, no one - no one listened to me, no one was allowed to help me, not even - not even to send a letter, to ask someone to check up on you, not…"

Yue Qingyuan takes a moment to breathe, rubbing at his watering eyes. "By the time I got out - by the time I made it to Qiu Manor… it had already been burnt down. I tried, Xiao Jiu, I did, I tried so hard - but I was too impulsive, I reached too far and fell down… again…"

It should be awkward to watch a powerful grown man weep, but something inside Shen Qingqiu basks in it. It feels almost cleansing after the grimy feeling left behind by the changed memories. They're both going to be fucked up over this, he thinks - but at least it's all out. Well…

Some of it is out.

"I knew," Shen Qingqiu says quietly, tired of holding so many secrets himself - he can say this much at least. "I've known for a while. You told me last time, during a time when you weren't sure you were going to survive. You'd drawn Xuan Su and it… left you weak."

Yue Qingyuan looks up sharply. "You - you knew? But if you already knew the truth then, why -?"

"Because it wasn't about the truth," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "It was about you telling me the truth."

Yue Qingyuan eyes him and then thinks about it. "Ah," he says. "Trust. I see…"

"Mm," Shen Qingqiu agrees and looks away. He's such a hypocrite. "How bad is it? The damage - I know your lifeforce is tied to Xuan Su, I know you can't draw it without risk, but…"

Yue Qingyuan sighs, his head sinking until he's almost resting his forehead against Shen Qingqiu's hair. "If I don't draw it, I'm… fine," he says. "I'll likely be able to ascend, one day. But I will be bringing Xuan Su with me. It'll be a burden I will bear always - and it will always have the power to drain my life."

Even after Ascension? Shen Qingqiu swallows. True enough, he hadn't gotten that good of a sense of how ascension really works in this setting, what kind of existence awaited cultivators afterwards, but… it was supposed to be a kind of divinity. Divinity with a life-draining sword… it sounds like an exceedingly painful sort of existence.

"Well. Don't we make a pair," Shen Qingqiu mutters and sighs. "Shixiong… about what you saw here…"

"I won't tell anyone," Yue Qingyuan quickly agrees and lifts his head. "I would never."

Shen Qingqiu hums, wry and a little wretched. He really wouldn't, would he? "I'd prefer it if you just forgot everything you saw," he says and looks away. "But I guess that's too much to ask. I'll be holding you to your word."

"You have it," Yue Qingyuan promises and then hesitates. "However… Shen-shidi, you… you're from the future."

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu agrees, not meeting his eyes.

"Will you… will you ever tell me what, and how it happened? What I saw, how it came about?" Yue Qingyuan asks carefully. "And… what changes have you made?"

After a moment of thinking about it, Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. "Probably not," he admits. "There's no point in rehashing old pain like that. Just rest assured that I've made enough changes to make sure it will never come to pass."

Yue Qingyuan takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly. "Alright. I trust you. But… if you ever need anything… any help with what you're doing… I'm here. I'm always here for you."

Shen Qingqiu feels his throat constrict and just nods, looking away.

Finally, the mists around them clear - and his Qi-deviation passes.

Shen Qingqiu goes from being unconscious to sleeping for two days straight, and by the time he wakes up, he's still exhausted. 

He's also different. 

"Your Qi has stabilised," Mu Qingfang informs him after a thorough check. "And though your meridians are still strained and your lower dantian is still a bit inflamed, it's going down. No physical training for at least two days, no Qi usage for a week, and no inedia for two - you've lost too much weight as it is."

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu answers, not feeling up to arguing. His head feels like it's stuffed full of paper, pages ripped from a thousand different books, and he's trying to read them all at once. It doesn't hurt, exactly, but…

"Are you in pain?" Mu Qingfang asks worriedly.

"No," Shen Qingqiu admits and rubs at his forehead. "My brain feels too big for my skull."

"Ah. A common side effect of mental Qi-deviations," Mu Qingfang informs him. "Meditation, sleep and rest will help with that. Do you want to talk about it, Shen-shixiong?"

"Absolutely not."

"Didn't think so," Mu Qingfang chuckles wryly. "Just take things nice and slow for a few days now. Shall I send Yue-shixiong and Liu-shixiong back in?"

"I thought they left," Shen Qingqiu says - he'd rather hoped they'd left, really.

"No, they're in your tea room, waiting. I can send them out, if you don't feel like socialising right now," Mu Qingfang says sympathetically. "It's perfectly understandable if you wanted a moment to yourself."

Shen Qingqiu wonders if it would be selfish and then decides he doesn't care if it is. "Tell them I'll see them tomorrow at the earliest," he says and sits up slowly. "I just want to meditate right now."

"I'll tell them," Mu Qingfang agrees, pats his shoulder and then puts a cup of tea in his hand. "This will help with the disorientation - I already gave some to your head disciple and taught him how to prepare it."

"Thank you."

The silence after Mu Qingfang's departure is blessed, except for the fact that it makes the ringing in Shen Qingqiu's ears all the louder, making his head feel even more like it has been put through the wringer.

Everything feels a bit strange right now. Everything looks strange. It's like he's been peeled, scraped clean, and all sensory input is coming in raw and unfiltered. The fabric of his bedding, his sleep clothes, the feel of his hair as it slips over his shoulder.

It's white. His hair is white.

That would take a while getting used to. Again.

With a grunt, Shen Qingqiu stands up and then wavers between going to check himself out on the mirror and going to dig through his secret stash. He chooses the stash - there's no point in checking his reflection, it won't have changed. Still Shen Qingqiu, only with white hair. Likely very messy white hair, with what he's been through. He'll deal with it later.

There are two hiding places for important things in the bamboo house. One was for later things, things he'd collected since transmigrating, a box he left out in the open but kept locked. Luo Binghe's first fan and his Fake Jade Guanyin are both there, and it's where he keeps his other two important fans as well as Yue Qingyuan's jade hairpin when they're not in use. The other place, though…

It's under the bookshelf, hidden behind illusion seals to make it look like normal floorboards and to lock it in case someone did find it. There's a thousand spirit stones, along with a decent sum of silver and gold hidden there, along with some letters and papers, a journal, trinkets, a few pieces of jewellery…

Shen Jiu's old bug-out stash, which he'd obsessively maintained ever since he was a teenager, just in case things in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect ever went south. Even after he became a Peak Lord, he'd not quite believed it would last.

"Well," Shen Qingqiu murmurs, leaning his chin onto his hands, his voice muffled by his palms. "What to do about this…?"

He hadn't known about the stash before. It was obviously never written down in the original source material, and it's not like Shen Jiu would've ever told anyone about it. He kept it very carefully to himself.

And now Shen Qingqiu remembers making it, maintaining it, finding quiet, somewhat morbid security in it. Just in case, for the day Yue Qingyuan's patience runs out, for when Shen Jiu's bad decisions catch up with him… just in case.

It had done him fuck all when the shit had finally hit the fan.

Re-engaging the seals with a sigh, Shen Qingqiu runs a hand over his face. His head still feels like someone shoved a library into it, only now there's a whirlwind blowing through it. He needs to meditate. He needs to sort out his thoughts. He needs…

He needs a goddamn holiday, is what he needs.

He gets up to write a message instead.

The bathhouse isn't quite complete yet, it's missing a few walls and the ceiling isn't finished. The springs themselves are done, though, the water steaming hot and bubbling in places as the seals in the bottom of the pools idly stir it.

He has hot springs. Shen Qingqiu had hot springs built on Qing Jing Peak. That's something he did. They're almost finished. They cost him thousands of spirit stones, but he did them anyway. Mostly just because he could. Because he could afford it. Because he bet ten thousand of Yue Qingyuan's and Liu Qingge's money on Luo Binghe and won. For a brief moment he'd been the wealthiest Peak Lord. And he's used it to build himself and his Peak hot springs.

It's weird how it all feels like a revelation now. Like it's news.

His friendship with Shang Qinghua feels new too - and so does the amusement that bubbles in his chest when he sees the man slowly approaching him with a hand covering his eyes, blindly walking into a bucket and almost falling over.

"Airplane," Shen Qingqiu says with a snort at the man's blind flailing. "What are you doing?"

Shang Qinghua parts his fingers for a quick glance and then sighs. "Oh, thank God you're not naked," he says with great relief. "They said you had a Qi-deviation. You okay, Cucumber-bro?"

Shen Qingqiu looks down at himself, in his sleep clothes, soaked all the way through, and hums. He forgot to undress himself. "Yeah, no, not really," he admits, "I'm having like… a dissociative episode or something. It's kinda trippy."

"Shit, bro - should I go get Mu Qingfang?" Shang Qinghua asks worriedly.

"Nah, it'll probably pass. I had a couple lifetimes' worth of memories crammed into my head, so, it's probably expected," Shen Qingqiu hums and leans back, relaxing against the smooth rocks. "The System made me rewrite my own history. I thought I should give you the heads up - it might affect you too."

Shang Qinghua frowns and comes to sit on the edge of the pool. "Does that have something to do with the way Yue Qingyuan came around to question me?"

Shen Qingqiu tries to lift his head. "He did?"

"Mmhmm," Shang Qinghua agrees and kicks his shoes off, pulling his trouser legs up. "About how long we've known each other mostly, about how and why I joined Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. I almost shat myself, I thought you'd told him something or let something slip or… something."

"You don't seem worried," Shen Qingqiu comments, watching with narrowed eyes as Shang Qinghua sticks his feet into his hot spring.

"Don't give me that look, I suffer from like semi-permanent frozen feet. And I built this thing, the least you can do is let me reap some of the benefits," Shang Qinghua says and sighs, flexing his toes. "Ahh, that's great. You have good ideas sometimes."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "What else did Yue Qingyuan say? When was this anyway?"

"Couple days ago and not much. After scaring the shit out of me he just sort of patted me on the shoulder and told me he was glad I found peace within Cang Qiong Mountain Sect," Shang Qinghua shrugs. "It was weird, but I wasn't accused of treason or anything, so, hey."

"Right," Shen Qingqiu hums. "He must've figured you didn't remember much either."

Shang Qinghua looks up from kicking his feet back and forth in the water like a kid. "Huh?" 

"Told you, I rewrote my own history," Shen Qingqiu says and closes his eyes. "And now we're both time travellers."

He goes to explain what happened, the System latching onto his identity crisis during a moment of weakness and turning his Qi-deviation into a fun ride of trauma and canon-breaking additions. He probably doesn't make all that much sense, it's a bit hard to keep it all in order in his head right now, but thankfully Shang Qinghua is a native speaker of Exhausted Idiot.

"Sacrifice your next reincarnation," Shang Qinghua repeats. "Bro."

"I know," Shen Qingqiu sighs. "I was stuck in that memory for so long, I got desperate, alright?"

"No, I mean - bro," Shang Qinghua says. "That's - that's crazy. In that it sort of fits. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Like, in my first life I didn't do much, didn't live much, didn't really care about much of anything before I started writing Proud Immortal Demon Way. It was like…" Shang Qinghua makes an expansive motion. "Like everything else was in grayscale, but that, my novel, that was all in technicolour. I got so obsessive over it, bro - you know how much I wrote. It was kinda scary at times."

Shen Qingqiu opens an eye to look at him. "I had a life before your stupid book," he says.

Not much of one, though. He'd been… unambitious, lazy, unmotivated to do anything with his life. World in greyscale… sounds about right.

"And then we get sent here, into these bodies," Shang Qinghua muses. "Losing our lives in the process. Sacrifice your next reincarnation. Bro. That's almost poetic. I wish I'd written that. And you remember being Shen Jiu now?"

"Sort of. It's kind of… compacted in my head," Shen Qingqiu admits, rubbing his fingers in a circle over his temple. "My re-writing might affect reality, though - I added things to what happened with the Qius and stuff, and I think… they actually happened."

"Like what?"

Shen Qingqiu tells him.

"Bro," Shang Qinghua says, sounding jealous. "How is that fair, you editing the story like that - I'm the author here!"

"I'd be happy to switch places with you," Shen Qingqiu sighs and gives him a look. "That's not what I messaged you about. If I'm having side effects from this, you might end up feeling them too. Remembering the original Shang Qinghua's life and all that. Thought you should know."

"Thanks for the heads up - you're kinda late on that, though," Shang Qinghua snorts.

"What?"

"Bro, I've always remembered. How do you think I managed to play my role so straight?" Shang Qinghua asks. "Lemme tell you, being a baby with memories of two adult dudes? Now that was trippy."

Shen Qingqiu blinks at him. "Wait - what? You've always -?"

"Sorta kinda yeah," Shang Qinghua agrees. "Not your additions, obviously, those are news to me. The rest, though… eh."

Shen Qingqiu stares at him blankly for a long moment. "You didn't think to tell me this?"

"Honestly, I thought you already knew. And it's not like you told me you didn't remember," Shang Qinghua says and gives him a look in turn. "I thought you did remember. You play Shen Jiu pretty well. Aside from the… glaringly obvious OOC bits," he gives a look at Shen Qingqiu's hair.

"... Uh," Shen Qingqiu says, eloquently. "Well, I… didn't."

"Yeah," Shang Qinghua hums. "So… now what?"

"Hell if I know," Shen Qingqiu sighs and sinks deeper into the pool. "I think I re-traumatised Yue Qingyuan."

"That sucks, bro."

"Yeah. I'm probably meeting him and Liu Qingge tomorrow. Here's hoping I'm done dissociating by then."

Shang Qinghua gives him a sympathetic look. "Your life, man. You want me to come along for emotional support?"

"That would probably look weird," Shen Qingqiu muses. "Funny though. Liu Qingge would make faces."

"Yeah, because he thinks you're sizing me up for your harem," Shang Qinghua snorts. "No thank you, by the way."

"What?"

"Yeah," Shang Qinghua agrees and lifts his feet out of the water. "My thoughts exactly."

Shen Qingqiu makes a face and then lets it go. His head is both too full and too empty to entertain further nonsense. "If I become an asshole thanks to Shen Jiu's memories, you'll let me know, right?"

"Sure thing, bro," Shang Qinghua says, pulling his shoes back on. "You can count on me. Though you're already a bit of an asshole, just you know."

Shen Qingqiu half-heartedly splashes water at him.

He meets Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge for tea the next day. It's… awkward.

"So it wasn't the training?" Liu Qingge demands to know. "That's not what triggered it?"

"No," Shen Qingqiu says. Though it probably didn't help, it was mostly months and years of playing someone else, and then trying to change that someone, and then being faced with impostor syndrome and identity crisis, and at this point he probably has some sort of dissociative Identity thing going for him too… "It was stress," he says.

"Does Shidi feel better now?" Yue Qingyuan asks, watching him carefully with his big sad dog eyes.

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and looks away. "I will," he says. "And Zhangmen-shixiong?"

"I'm fine, Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan assures him quickly, offering him a soothing smile. "Nothing to worry about."

Bullshit, but he doesn't look too badly off. Dark circles under his eyes, and his smile has that pinched quality he gets when he's hiding an injury. Big idiot.

"Right," Liu Qingge looks between them. "Should I leave so that you can shout at each other?"

Yue Qingyuan laughs and Shen Qingqiu snorts. "It's fine," he mutters and reaches for his tea. "So what did I miss while I was - indisposed?"

Liu Qingge hesitates just for a moment, casting Yue Qingyuan a look, and then he takes something out from under the lapel of his robe - a sheaf of papers. "I re-worked your move set. Mingyan helped. It shouldn't inflame your lower dantian again."

Shen Qingqiu accepts the papers, wishing he had a fan in his hand to hide his blush with. The directions are mostly written, with a few sketches - likely done by Liu Mingyan, since Liu Qingge definitely can't draw this well. It's a set of twenty-six moves this time, arranged into a dance. Mingyan had included music suggestions, explaining that it would help with the timing and transitions. She's also named his variation of the Salutation of the Heavenly Bodies.

The Salutation of the Full Moon.

"You told your sister?" Shen Qingqiu asks slowly.

"She's an expert," Liu Qingge says and folds his arms. "I could've asked Qi Qingqi, if that'd be any better."

"It really wouldn't."

Liu Qingge's brows arch in a very there, see? sort of gesture.

Shen Qingqiu sighs. "Thank your sister for me, then."

"Thank her yourself - she's planning on sewing you a new set of robes to use for this," Liu Qingge snorts. "She's going to come around to get your measurements one of these days."

"... I see," Shen Qingqiu says and, in the absence of a fan, uses the sheaf of papers to fan his face. "Kind of her."

Yue Qingyuan looks between them with a slight smile. "Should I leave so that you can discuss it further?" he asks with some amusement.

Shen Qingqiu hums, unimpressed. "You could both go and leave me in peace," he mutters. "But I won't hold any hope for that. More tea?"

"Please," Liu Qingge says like it's a dare, and Yue Qingyuan sets his cup closer with an awkward smile, and the meeting continues to be exceedingly uncomfortable for a good while longer.

Chapter Text

You don't even know what his life was like before joining the sect. As much as he respects Liu-shidi… there are things he wouldn't want you to know. 

You can't be more to people than they're ready to accept. Not unless you want to take from them more than they're willing to give.

There was a time when Liu Qingge thought he had Shen Qingqiu figured out. There was a time he thought he left behind those preconceived notions and started from a clean slate. He thought he'd worked it out, he thought things were better, that he was on the right track now. That they were… that they were something. Friends, at least.

It's becoming more and more apparent that he still doesn't know Shen Qingqiu all that well. He knows where the man ended up, he knows something about what he has planned, but… he really doesn't know much at all.

When Shen Qingqiu's Qi-deviation had passed and the man had gone from being unconscious to sleeping off his mental exhaustion, there hadn't been much to indicate the actual impact of the Qi-deviation. Yue Qingyuan hadn't said, biting his tongue on all answers except to say that Shen Qingqiu had needed to work through some old memories and that he'd be alright now.

The Sect Leader had then stumbled off to meditate, leaving Liu Qingge and Mu Qingfang pretending they couldn't hear his hitched breathing, his barely swallowed sobs.

There was a time when Liu Qingge had come to be under the impression that Shen Qingqiu was some well to do young master from a minor but affluent family. He walked the walk and talked the talk so well, and everyone in the sect knew that he'd somehow influenced Yue Qingyuan to get into the sect. The common consensus at the time was that obviously Shen Qingqiu had paid his way in. If there was a Peak where you could get in by bribery, it's Qing Jing Peak, since you didn't need physical or even that much spiritual prowess there, and intellectual acclaim is easier to fake than physical one.

Liu Qingge knows now that much of Shen Qingqiu's behaviour is a carefully constructed act. He knows something happened to the man to shift his priorities. He knows the shape of his nightmares. And he knows… that you don't set out to create a cultivation method based around Dual Cultivation and being a Human Cauldron without a damn good reason.

It's not much. In light of the Qi-deviation, it's not much at all. For as long as he'd known him, Liu Qingge had been basing his impression of the man on false assumptions. He really doesn't know anything about Shen Qingqiu's life before, except what little the man has deigned to show him. And most of that was a lie.

"That's not so different from yourself, Gege," Liu Mingyan comments, glancing up from the designs she's painting. "It's not as though you've told him much about your life before you joined Bai Zhan."

Liu Qingge makes a face. "What's there to tell?" he mutters. "I'm here now."

His sister gives him a bland look. "So am I, and I can't say I'm not still affected by the way we were brought up. It's the same for everyone," she muses and turns her eyes back to her work. "What you learn as a child, you master as an adult. Even things you'd really rather not. As the Peak Lord of Bai Zhan Peak, you should know that better than anyone."

Liu Qingge looks away with a scoff. True enough, most of Bai Zhan disciples come in with baggage and most of that is because of terrible childhoods. "I also know a thing or two about growing beyond your upbringing," he says pointedly. 

"Yes, and that's why instead of pursuing Shen Qingqiu's undivided attention and affection, you've already settled into position of the second -"

"No, I - that's not -" Liu Qingge starts and then scoffs with frustration. "That's not it."

"Mmhmm," Liu Mingyan hums knowingly. "And I'm designing him a whole new outfit just as a hobby and not a very personal gift from you, uh-huh."

Blowing out a breath, Liu Qingge cranes his neck a little to see. "How is it coming along, anyway?"

"I think I have a good number of sketches ready for Shen-shibo to choose from, if he feels so inclined," Liu Mingyan says and turns around the wooden board she'd been using as a painting surface.

She'd painted five different outfits, all adhering to Shen Qingqiu's new colour scheme of mostly darker greens. They're shorter than Shen Qingqiu's usual robes, though, the longest only reaching mid-calf, with the hems slitted in sections and layers of different length, to allow a wider range of motion. The designs are generally tighter around the waist and chest, but most still have sleeves that are long and airy, to show off movement in the dance, probably. In one of the sketches, Liu Mingyan had even added a dancing fan with a long ribbon, to complete the dancer's outfit.

Seeing Shen Qingqiu using something like that would be… something.

"Well?" Liu Mingyan asks, watching him.

"Better," Liu Qingge agrees and clears his throat. Her first designs had been… revealing. "I think we can actually show these to him."

His sister hums in agreement, smiling a little. "Good," she says and stands up, taking out her veil to pull it back on. "I think I'd rather like to see Shen-shibo - and have a nice long talk with him. Since you won't."

Liu Qingge looks up sharply. "Don't ask him about why he's developing the Salutation of the Full Moon," he says sharply. "It's not your business."

Liu Mingyan laughs a little. "I won't, I won't. You don't have to worry about what I might ask him, Gege. Worry instead about the things I might tell him."

Liu Qingge frowns. "Like what?"

Liu Mingyan laughs again. 

They make their way to Qing Jing Peak together the next day, with Liu Mingyan carrying with her a pouch full of sewing supplies while Liu Qingge carries her stack of sketches.

They're cleaning up at Qing Jing Peak now. The construction is almost done, with all the major structures finished. It has left the rest of the peak in something of a disarray, with many of the previous plant arrangements uprooted and new ones left to be made. The paths between buildings are in something of a state too, full of rubble and uneven with piles of dirt, bits of leftover construction materials everywhere.

Shen Qingqiu is overseeing his disciples as they work to tidy things up, fanning himself idly while around him his disciples buzz about like busy bees, raking the paths and carrying the rubble away.

"Liu-shidi, Liu-shizhi," Shen Qingqiu greets them, arching his brows slightly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"You know why we're here," Liu Qingge says and looks around. "Are you all done with the construction?"

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu agrees.

"Shen-shibo, is it possible to have a look?" Liu Mingyan asks excitedly.

"Though the buildings are more or less done, they're not yet complete," Shen Qingqiu answers. "And so they're not quite ready for a tour just yet. As soon as we have tidied up the peak, we'll begin decorating, and then this master will be delighted to show Liu-shizhi around."

Liu Qingge casts him a sharp look, automatically on edge as always whenever anyone makes such offers to his sister - but Shen Qingqiu isn't even looking at her, his expression mostly bored rather than interested, his eyes following his own disciples as they work.

Liu Mingyan elbows Liu Qingge and then turns her eyes to Shen Qingqiu. "This Shizhi would be happy to join her brother in such a tour," she says politely. "The expansion seems extensive."

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu agrees, frowning slightly at nothing and then covering the lower half of his face with his fan. "This master will let Liu-shidi know when his peak is ready, then," he says and turns. "The Bamboo House is ready, however. Shall we?"

As he turns to lead them towards the Bamboo House, Liu Qingge casts a look at his sister behind his back. Liu Mingyan rolls her eyes and shakes her head before assuming the poise and grace of a Xian Shu disciple and turning to follow Shen Qingqiu. Annoyed and awkward, Liu Qingge follows.

It's clear that Shen Qingqiu hasn't fully recovered from his Qi-deviation. He's even paler than usual, and going by the behaviour of his disciples, he's likely still suffering from side effects - they're all watching him closely as though making sure he's not about to fall over. Shen Qingqiu's Head Disciple is quick to leave his work to another disciple in order to follow his master, too, his expression carefully schooled and still obviously concerned. The entire Peak is subtly on edge, watching out for its Lord, it seems.

No wonder. It had taken Liu Qingge almost a month to feel normal again after his last Qi-deviation, and he was in peak physical condition at the time. Shen Qingqiu carries his weakness with dignity - but the resignation is plainly obvious, almost habitual, really. Even though it's been a while, Shen Qingqiu is clearly still very familiar with this, and he knows what he's in for. A month wouldn't be long enough.

Liu Qingge and Liu Mingyan are led to Shen Qingqiu's tea room where Ming Fan bows his head, saying, "This disciple will go prepare some tea. Would Shizun like something to eat as well?"

Shen Qingqiu sighs. "Later, Ming Fan," he says and then at Liu Qingge's sharp glance, explains, "Mu-shidi forbade inedia for me. Again."

"Inedia shouldn't be practised perpetually, anyway," Liu Qingge says, giving him a look. "You've already lost weight."

"Shen-shibo has?" Liu Mingyan asks interestedly. "Is Shibo looking to regain the weight? It might affect the designs."

Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. "I suppose I should," he muses, clearly reluctant. "Qing Jing Peak diet isn't exactly… suited for it, however. The meals tend to be very light here."

"What is the diet like?" Liu Qingge asks, leaning in. "I can design you one for bulking up -"

Liu Mingyan elbows him, hard, and nods at Shen Qingqiu. "Or perhaps it will be easier for Shibo to simply visit Bai Zhan Peak for an occasional heavier meal," she suggests helpfully. "That way no extensive changes need to be made in the general cuisine of Qing Jing Peak."

Liu Qingge gives his sister a look while Shen Qingqiu hums, sounding surprisingly interested. "Bai Zhang peak diet favours protein, I suppose," he muses. "It's heavy on meat and such, isn't it?"

"More or less, yes," Liu Qingge agrees. "There are some vegetables that are better for building muscle than others - I can get you a list -" Liu Mingyan elbows him again. "I mean - you'll see. If you visit Bai Zhan Peak for dinner."

Shen Qingqiu looks between them, opening and closing a quarter section of this fan before setting it down. "I suppose I will," he says slowly, looking a little suspicious now, and turns his gaze on Liu Mingyan. "What designs?"

It gives them an opening to show him Liu Mingyan's sketches. Shen Qingqiu accepts them without an expression and leafs through them silently, saying nothing for a long moment. 

"Does Shibo not like them?" Liu Mingyan asks, sounding a little disappointed.

"Shizhi has a good eye for fashion design," Shen Qingqiu says and taps one of the sketches. "But all of these have a minimum of five layers."

"Brother made it seem as though that would be Shen-shibo's preference," Liu Mingyan says, casting Liu Qingge a pointed look.

"As this Shibo can't always regulate his temperature, he does indeed prefer multiple layers as regular wear," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "But in training it's less than ideal, even on a chilly mountaintop. Three layers or less would be preferable."

"Ah, I see," Liu Mingyan answers, looking as taken aback as Liu Qingge feels.

"You can't regulate your temperature?" Liu Qingge asks, not sure if he's more surprised by the knowledge - or how easily Shen Qingqiu admits such weakness. Is that why his hands are always cold - because he's always cold, unable to use Qi to combat the mountain chill?

Shen Qingqiu looks up, arching his brows. "I can, but not reliably," he says simply and doesn't elaborate, turning his eyes to the sketches again. "Would Liu-shizhi mind doing this one again, but with fewer layers?"

"Certainly, Shen-shibo, but it might take a while," Liu Mingyan answers. "I might have it ready for tomorrow?"

"Or you could do it right now and finish what you've started," Shen Qingqiu says and looks up as Ming Fan enters with a tray of tea. "Thank you, Ming Fan. Now please fetch this master's travel painting kit from the study and bring it here."

"Yes, Shizun," Ming Fan says and hurries off.

Liu Mingyan blinks at the sudden shift and casts a look at her brother. "Ah, of course. This Shizhi didn't think of it, but of course the Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak would have a great wealth of art supplies in his own house."

"They are yours to use, Liu-shizhi," Shen Qingqiu says wryly, casting a look at Liu Qingge. "Artistic pursuits should be encouraged, after all, and I'd be delighted to see how you adjust the designs."

Liu Qingge frowns back at him, a little confused by his tone and behaviour. Is the man annoyed with him or something? 

Liu Mingyan bows her head slightly. "This Shizhi would be honoured to receive Shen-shibo's guidance."

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu hums noncommittally and looks away from Liu Qingge, considering Liu Mingyan's sketches again. "Shizhi has a great eye for movement and colour, but your basics are lacking. Clearly the painting lessons in Xian Shu aren't enough."

"Our education concentrates more on music and performance, Shen-shibo," Liu Mingyan says faintly, her eyes hardening a little, daring him to criticise.

"It's a sad waste of your other artistic talents," Shen Qingqiu says carelessly. "You should visit Qing Jing Peak's painting hall sometime for lessons. It should broaden your horizons, and this Shibo has a feeling Shizhi will find a few like-minded people among his silly senior disciples. Shizhi might even enjoy collaborating with them."

Liu Mingyan hums, her eyes a little uncertain. "Oh?"

"Their works are mostly nonsense," Shen Qingqiu muses. "But it's the type of nonsense I suspect Shizhi might enjoy."

"Hmm," Liu Mingyan answers and glances at her brother. Liu Qingge shrugs - he has no idea what Shen Qingqiu is talking about either. "I see," Liu Mingyan says finally, her tone noncommittal. "Perhaps after the tour, then."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu says and serves them all tea.

The atmosphere in the tearoom remains a little strange and oddly strained in a way Liu Qingge isn't sure how to handle. Shen Qingqiu is acting weird and doesn't seem inclined to explain his strange mood. It's almost a relief when Ming Fan comes back not much after, carrying with him everything necessary for painting - or so Liu Qingge supposes, his tutelage in the art of painting had never been particularly full, and what little he'd been taught during early lessons back home he'd long since forgotten. Judging by Liu Mingyan's expression, though, it's everything she needs.

She isn't particularly happy about having to put her skills to the test in front of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's foremost master in the Four Arts, but she schools her expression behind her veil and pulls back her sleeve and gets to it, with Shen Qingqiu watching every brush stroke with thoughtfully narrowed eyes, his lips hidden behind his tea cup. Liu Qingge looks between the pair of them and drains his tea, feeling suddenly superfluous for this entire exchange. Liu Mingyan is doing this as a favour to him, and yet…

"Shizhi has excellent control over brushwork," Shen Qingqiu comments, sounding pleased. "Judging by your brushstrokes, you mainly paint flowers?"

"Ah, yes," Liu Mingyan agrees, a little surprised. "How can you tell?"

"The way you apply pressure when widening your lines - this master can tell you paint very precise flower petals," Shen Qingqiy muses. "This master would like to see Liu-shizhi's work sometime, if there are pieces she is willing to display."

"There might be a few," Liu Mingyan comments, relaxing minutely. "What does Shen-shibo think of this disciple's work in depicting human figures?"

"Your grasp of anatomy is acceptable - your ability to depict that anatomy is barely so," Shen Qingqiu says mercilessly. "Were Liu-shizhi one of this master's disciples, he would set her to sketching other disciples during their sword practice - spending an incense stick on each sketch, doing a minimum of five sketches each day, for ten days."

Liu Mingyan lets out a slight laugh. "Shen-shibo is a merciless taskmaster! Fifty sketches!"

Shen Qingqiu gives her an arched brow. "At minimum. By the end of it, I dare say Shizhi would have a better grasp on how to depict bodies in motion."

Liu Qingge watches them silently, as Shen Qingqiu moves to suggest modifications to Liu Mingyan's work, to better convey what she has in mind. Liu Mingyan, after her initial discomfort at his rather rude handling of the discussion, relaxes into the guidance, and clearly seems intent on taking something away from it. And Liu Qingge feels…

Unnecessary.

Even when Liu Mingyan looks up to draw him in, saying, "I suppose this Shizhi might use her brother as a model. He's modelled for this Shizhi before, after all," It still doesn't feel like he's part of the discussion anymore.

"Indeed?" Shen Qingqiu asks, barely glancing up.

"Mm-hmm," Liu Mingyan agrees, her eyes twinkling. "What did Shibo think of the guide book to the Salutation of the Full Moon?"

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and whaps her on the shoulder with his folded fan - a light hit, more friendly than anything. "Liu-shizhi is being cheeky. Finish your artwork."

"Yes, Shibo," Liu Mingyan says, her eyes squinted in a smile, and turns her attention down on her canvas.

Liu Qingge looks away, feeling all of sudden irritated with this whole damn thing.

What reason does he have to feel like an outsider here? He's never been an insider, not really. He cleared Shen Qingqiu's meridians and nagged him about his health, but had he really been part of his world, beyond the tenuous contact they had as Peak Lords, as disciples of the same sect? Even Liu Mingyan has more in common with Shen Qingqiu than Liu Qingge does - and Yue Qingyuan…

There is a level of familiarity he can never attain.

And yet, why would he feel jealous, why should he feel jealous? What purpose does feeling left out serve, really? There's no point to it, no point to these feelings. He doesn't know Shen Qingqiu, and Shen Qingqiu doesn't want him to know him, and therefore…

Therefore…

"Liu-shidi?" Shen Qingqiu asks, looking up. "Please stop crushing my teacup - I barely managed to fix the last set that broke - "

Liu Qingge stops himself from slamming the cup down, and sets it down slowly instead. Then he stands up. "I'll go for a walk while you - " he motions between Liu Mingyan and Shen Qingqiu and turns to head out through the backdoor, into Shen Qingqiu's bamboo garden. Behind him, he can hear Shen Qingqiu making a quizzical noise and Liu Mingyan sighing.

"Shen-shibo must forgive my brother," Liu Qingge hears her saying. "He has always been a little… rough around the edges…"

Liu Qingge almost heads back inside to tell her to shut up, but that would defeat the purpose of heading out in the first place. Running his hands over his tightly tied hair, Liu Qingge draws a breath and then releases it in a slow exhale, feeling his heart - which he hadn't even realised had sped up - calm down again.

He feels useless. It's another pointless feeling, not just because there's nothing here to be useless about but because it's false. He's not useless - he's been of use. He clears Shen Qingqiu's meridians, he helped him with the Salutation of the Full Moon, and he will be helping more in the future. He has an… utility here, and whatever their relationship is, Shen Qingqiu does seem to genuinely enjoy his presence. He's seen the man smile many times because of something he did or said. It just…

It had been a while, weeks now, since he'd last seen Shen Qingqiu smile sincerely, without the bitter tang of cynicism or sarcasm tinting it. Ever since the Qi Deviation, Shen Qingqiu had been… different. 

With an ill feeling in his gut, Liu Qingge sits down on the meditation rocks in Shen Qingqiu's back garden and crosses his ankles, straightens his back. The garden reflects Shen Qingqiu well. It's all green, grass and bamboo and moss, somehow wild and somehow carefully maintained all at once. The feng shui is impeccable, probably, not that Liu Qingge has ever paid much attention to things like that. Shen Qingqiu seems like a man who would, though - his house had always had that carefully maintained, airy feel to it. Except for his study, with its ceiling-height bookshelves, three walls fully covered by them…

Liu Qingge isn't sure what he's doing here anymore. On surface level it's an easy question to answer - he is here to aid Shen Qingqiu. And yet…

"Liu-shidi?"

Liu Qingge lifts his chin and glances over his shoulder - Shen Qingqiu's steps are quiet and careful over the stepping stones, as he approaches him. "Is something the matter?"

"… no," Liu Qingge says. "Not really."

Shen Qingqiu hums dubiously. "Well, that clears things right up," he says with a wry tone that's not quite teasing. Mostly he just sounds exhausted. "Have I made you mad?"

Liu Qingge scoffs and shakes his head, looking down at the grass. What can he say? When Shen Qingqiu Qi-deviated, Liu Qingge was useless, held at arm's length by secrets and lack of trust, while Yue Qingyuan delved into Shen Qingqiu's mind like he had an open invitation. It's not something he should feel jealous of, Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan have a long history, and yet …

"Your sister insinuated that, ah…" Shen Qingqiu trails away, considering what to say. "Well, I already knew emotions and human interactions aren't exactly your forte, but -"

Liu Qingge interrupts him. "When you Qi-deviated, if Yue Qingyuan hadn't been there," he says before he can think it over. "Would it have been fine, if I tried it in his stead? If I'd done - that?"

Shen Qingqiu is quiet for a moment, taken aback. "Ah," he says then and looks away, swallowing. After a moment of thought, he tugs slightly at the lapels of his outer robe, pulling it around himself tighter, shivering. "No, I don't think it would've been. I think you would've taken it much worse than he did."

Liu Qingge blinks. "You - but you wouldn't have minded? If I had tried?"

"I wouldn't have exactly enjoyed it," Shen Qingqiu admits wryly. "But I didn't enjoy it anyway. I needed someone there to push through it. Without Yue Qingyuan, I would've gone over those memories endlessly until I had them down perfectly, for no other reason than…" he trails away and shakes his head. "I know you offered, and… thank you. But I'm glad it wasn't you."

Liu Qingge frowns, staring up at him. "Whatever happened to you in the past…" he starts and shakes his head. "I wouldn't hold it against you."

Shen Qingqiu snorts at that and looks down at him. "Not exactly what I'm worried about," he says.

So, it's… really not something Shen Qingqiu did, but rather what was done to him. Liu Qingge had known it was something like that, but… how bad did it really have to be for Shen Qingqiu to become like this?

Liu Qingge looks down, thinking about it, biting his lip. "I wouldn't judge you for it, either," he says. "Whatever it is. I wouldn't."

"Liu-shidi, you jump to conclusions like it's a competition and you're looking to win," Shen Qingqiu says with a wry scoff and sits on a rock beside him. "You say that now, but it would change things anyway. Just look at Yue Qingyuan," he waves a hand in the direction of Qiong Ding Peak. "One dip into my memories, and he's a wreck. Again. You have no idea how long we've been working on his guilt, and now… it's all almost undone again. Tch."

Guilt…? "Does he have something to be guilty about?" Liu Qingge asks, eyes narrowing.

"He's guilty in the same way you're guilty for my poisoning," Shen Qingqiu snorts and then gives him a look. "You're not at fault for that, by the way."

"I know that, but I was the one who was poisoned first - "

"The Demon Elder was the one who poisoned his armour with the express intention of killing human cultivators, he's the guilty party. You are collateral damage," Shen Qingqiu says flatly. "And so is Yue Qingyuan, though he's having a hard time seeing it that way. And now he has whole new things to feel terrible about in relation to me," he scoffs and adds under his breath, "Can't say I'm enjoying being the cause of all his internal torment."

Liu Qingge scowls, feeling his throat constrict at the exhaustion in Shen Qingqiu's voice. "If he's so affected by all of it, then obviously there's something to be affected by."

Shen Qingqiu shakes his head and looks down, but he doesn't deny it. Just looks tired and a little like he might fall over any moment.

"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge says, not sure how to put what he's thinking into words, but… "You shouldn't have to fight his Heart Demons, along with your own."

Shen Qingqiu lets out an incredulous sound at that. "If I don't, then who will?" he asks and shakes his head. "In case you have missed it, Yue Qingyuan isn't one to engage in fights unless he's forced into it. If I don't, then neither will he, and I think his issues have festered for quite long enough."

"Then at least let someone," let him, "help you do the same," Liu Qingge says and turns to face him. "Why should you need to fight alone if he isn't? And even if you can't stop helping him, then - you at least shouldn't prioritise his Heart Demons over your own. Deal with your problems first, then help others."

Giving him an exasperated look, Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. "Is that what you're doing, right now?" he asks flatly. "Because it rather seems to me like you're dealing with my problems, not your own."

"I faced my Heart Demons years ago," Liu Qingge says and shakes his head. "I'm fine."

Shen Qingqiu blows out a dry, mirthless laugh at that. "I've been saying that long enough to know it's bullshit," he says and looks away. "No one is fine. There are just people who cope with or hide their issues better than others, but no one is ever really fine."

Well, that sounds like the old Shen Qingqiu, with endless cynicism and pessimism. Liu Qingge leans back a little and runs a hand over his neck, a little awkward, not sure what to say to it in answer. He doesn't really have issues like that anymore. Not that he ever did, not that way. His Heart Demons has been quiet, fleeting beasts, easily defeated by his Shizun's careful attendance. They'd fed on bad memories and his own expectations - his anxiety and fear and anger. They'd died when he'd grown strong enough to protect himself, to protect Liu Mingyan.

Shen Qingqiu sighs heavily and hangs his head a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't - " he trails away, and his shoulders slump. "I'm just tired, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"You feel weak," Liu Qingge points out brutally - something he certainly used to have problems with. "And me bringing it up isn't helping."

Shen Qingqiu casts him a sharp, unhappy look and then harrumphs. "Something like that," he agrees ruefully and looks away, running a hand over his forehead, pushing his white hair back. "The Qi-deviation left me… out of sorts."

"That's what they do," Liu Qingge agrees, looking away.

They're quiet for a moment, Shen Qingqiu straightening himself out, arranging the folds of his robes idly. Around them, the bamboo grove rustles quietly in the mountain breeze.

"I can't believe you asked your sister to make me a set of dancing clothes," Shen Qingqiu then says, taking out his fan and opening it with a flick of his wrist.

Liu Qingge starts. "She decided that all on her own!"

"That's not what she said," Shen Qingqiu says and casts him a look over the fan. "You asked for her help with my… training as well. You've gone to quite the lengths."

Shifting, Liu Qingge smothers a scoff, not sure what to say. He can't tell what Shen Qingqiu means, is he annoyed, angry, amused…? "I still owe you."

"Mmhmm," Shen Qingqiu agrees, but it sounds sarcastic.

"She's better equipped for your new style."

"I have no doubt."

Liu Qingge casts him a look, irritated again. "What is it?"

Shen Qingqiu arches a white brow. "This Shixiong is just noticing how… invested Liu-shidi has become in his business."

Liu Qingge scoffs, uncertain. It sounds like a rebuke - it sounds like Shen Qingqiu is mocking him. "You obviously need the help," he snaps and then almost winces, thinking back. "You think the Salutation of the Full Moon pushed you into Qi-deviation."

Shen Qingqiu blinks, and his expression shifts, twists, shutters. For a moment he looks almost confused. "... No. It's been coming along for a while now," he then admits, and looks away, shaking his head. "It wasn't anyone's fault, except my own maybe. My cultivation is poor, and I haven't been attending to it properly. That's all there is to it."

"New and untested isn't the same as poor," Liu Qingge says, frowning at him, and then holds out his hand. "Let me feel your Qi."

Without complaint, Shen Qingqiu holds out his hand, and Liu Qingge puts his fingers to his pulse. It's steady and strong, so at least there's that, but Shen Qingqiu's Qi… No wonder he looks exhausted - the Qi-deviation must've drained his reserves. There's almost nothing left.

"Mu-shidi forbade you active cultivation and inedia - what about someone sharing their Qi with you?" Liu Qingge asks.

"It didn't come up."

Liu Qingge takes that as a permission and takes Shen Qingqiu's other hand in his as well. With well rehearsed motions, he begins transferring his own Qi over, feeling it flood into Shen Qingqiu's pathways, flushing out the slowly building blockages and giving the man a slight energy boost. Shen Qingqiu accepts it with a shivery sigh and sits up a little straighter. 

They sit in silence for a moment, not quite looking at each other. And for once, Shen Qingqiu isn't offering him those lifelines he usually does when their discussions stall - Shen Qingqiu isn't leading the way to ease him into it. Liu Qingge has to speak. He doesn't know what to say, but he… should say something.

"My parents thought I came out wrong," is probably not the right thing to say.

Shen Qingqiu's head comes up, startled. "I'm - sorry?"

Blushing a little, Liu Qingge looks away and clears his throat. "As a child, I was too quiet, too dedicated, too…" he pauses to look for a word. "Headstrong. I was different from others of my age. I didn't play like they did, or laugh like they did. As far as they knew, the only thing I wanted to do was train with a sword and fight monsters."

Shen Qingqiu stares at him, clearly bewildered. "So… not so different from how you're now," he then says.

Liu Qingge scoffs with agreement. "Did you know I have three older brothers?" he comments. "I have other sisters too, besides Mingyan. Non-cultivators, all of them - same father, three different mothers. They were… are… normal. Or what our father expected them to be, anyway. I was different, and my brothers were the comparison."

"Ah," Shen Qingqiu murmurs, his expression taking on an uncomfortable, sympathetic look. "I'm guessing it's not that your father was an adulterer…?"

"Our mother was the second concubine," Liu Qingge explains. "Our family is well-off, wealthy, well connected - but as children of the second concubine, we didn't... shu children's prospects aren't the best. And when they're…" he exhales and shakes his head, "… as pretty as we are, shu children tend to be useful for one thing only. Matchmaking."

"Oh, Liu-shidi," Shen Qingqiu murmurs and casts a look towards the house, where Liu Mingyan is still painting - or, possibly, eavesdropping. "Are you sure you want to tell me this?"

"It's not like it's a secret," Liu Qingge mutters, shaking his head. "I ran away when I was ten, when they began sizing me for a respectable match. To the son of a wealthy merchant, I think, I don't really remember. I made it up to Bai Zhan Peak half a year later. I went back only once, when Mingyan got old enough for them to start thinking about her prospects, too."

There's a lot to the story he's not saying, he can't say. The way his brothers had looked down on him, the things they'd said, thinking he was too stupid, too mentally slow, to understand. He'd been a quiet child, and he hadn't understood people any better back then, so he'd often made himself seem almost mute - it hadn't gone down well in that household. No one understood him.

They understood him even less when he came back as a righteous cultivator with a spiritual weapon and a quickly growing reputation, even at that age. After their initial panic and confusion, his family had done the smart thing and reclaimed him, telling all who would care how they'd sent their son to the righteous and famous Can Qiong Mountain Sect and oh, how well he'd done, they were so proud… But they hadn't really welcomed him back. Not that he'd really gone back.

When he'd taken Liu Mingyan, the only reason they'd let him is because he hadn't exactly stopped to ask, and they couldn't stop him anyway.

Liu Qingge startles when he feels a touch, Shen Qingqiu reaching to grip his hand. "I have no idea why you're telling me this," Shen Qingqiu says, a little at a loss.

Because you can't be more to people than they're ready to accept. Not unless you want to take from them more than they're willing to give. That goes both ways… and he wants Shen Qingqiu to be more to him.

Liu Qingge clears his throat. "I don't know what your life was like before you joined the sect," he says awkwardly with a shrug. "You probably didn't know what my life was like. Now you do."

There'd been once a time when he'd thought Shen Qingqiu was a Young Master, like his brothers - like the unpleasant boy he was almost married to. It seems like forever ago, now.

"Mm," Shen Qingqiu says, a little uncertainly. "Well… I'm honoured that you trust me?" he offers, still sounding mostly confused. "I didn't know you climbed Bai Zhan Peak. I mean, I knew intellectually that you must've, since everyone in Bai Zhan does, but… you were so young. That must've been difficult."

Liu Qingge shrugs and looks at him. "You joined the sect late - I… accused you of things, back then," he says awkwardly. "Because I made assumptions and jumped to conclusions and… all I wanted to do back then was fight everyone. I'm sorry about that. I was a dumb kid."

"So was I," Shen Qingqiu murmurs, looking down at their hands, curling his cool, cool, fingers around Liu Qingge's palm. Coughing to clear the air, he looks away. "Well. That was… ahem. Heartfelt. Um, do you think your sister is done with her sketch by now…?"

Liu Qingge sighs and looks down, feeling strangely disappointed. He should've known better than to try talking. He's never been good at it.

Shen Qingqiu hesitates in the middle of getting up and pauses to look at him. There's a moment of hesitation, like he's not sure if he wants to run away from Liu Qingge or stay, if he should say something or not. 

What he ends up doing is reaching out and… patting… Liu Qingge on the head.

"Ah, Liu-shidi, you work so hard," Shen Qingqiu sighs, stroking his fingers over his tightly wound hair and making Liu Qingge almost choke on his own tongue. "I'm… so grateful for you. I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you for climbing Bai Zhan Peak."

Liu Qingge blinks at the ground and looks up, his eyes wide, his heart pounding in his chest like a rapid beast trying to get out. The sun is behind Shen Qingqiu, and his hair glows like silver, as he holds out his hand. "Come on," he says and smiles, helplessly fond. "Let's go inside and see what mischief your sister has sketched out for me."

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu's recovery period ends, and the construction around Qing Jing Peak finishes. He still feels a bit like death warmed over afterwards, but it's settling down. Or maybe he's just getting used to it.

His cultivation is a mangled mess. Between the poison, his previously lax attitude because of the poison, all the previous damage, and now the haphazard way he'd been getting into… training… it's a wonder that it isn't worse. His spiritual veins are somehow both stained to the brink of breaking and withered as though he's never used them before. And his lower dantian - it's almost three times more powerful than it used to be, throwing his whole system into disarray.

He'd really almost ruined his own cultivation. Again. Though he'd possessed all of Shen Jiu's cultivation knowledge before and used it without too much problem, having knowledge is different from having experience. Shen Yuan was smart - but he didn't remember what it was like trying to master cultivation with Wu Yanzi's atrocious tutelage. He didn't know how to avoid certain pitfalls. And the System…

[Sidequest, "The Unorthodox Method", 30% complete! Please continue your efforts!]

With the System, the plot pushing it, and Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge's well-meaning but ultimately detrimental help… Shen Qingqiu is now left with a half-formed new cultivation method, which he either has to see to its completion, or face ever worsening Qi-deviations until his spiritual veins finally snap and his cultivation is forever ruined.

What a mess! And he can't even blame anyone, other than himself and the System and the plot, and the latter two of those don't even care! And what was he supposed to do, huh? Waste his time doing nothing like the last time? Knowing where it got him?! 

Honestly, he maybe should've. Doing nothing at least wouldn't have damaged his cultivation more than he already was!

But then what - with the plot and the System pushing him towards the Heavenly Pillar, what was he supposed to do? And it's not the only thing the plot is pushing him towards either, not anymore! The rumours, the whole Human Cauldron thing...

A new cultivation method centred around his ass...

Shen Qingqiu groans, smothering his face in his hands, fingers pressing into his eyes.

It's a weird feeling, having Shen Yuan's wild excuses and Shen Jiu's derisive judgement going against each other in his head, like waves up ocean shore, just back and forth, constantly. In turns he's resigned and in denial, in turns cynical and furious.

What he needs right now is seclusion training and a few months, at least, to meditate and sort through his thoughts and memories.

It's not something he can do, though, not this soon after Qi-deviation. Mu Qingfang would never give the go-ahead, and Yue Qingyuan wouldn't let him.

Though why does he get a say -

"Stop it," Shen Qingqiu mutters to himself, exhausted with his own thoughts.

"Pardon, Shizun?"

Shen Qingqiu looks up to see Ming Fan entering with a loaded tea tray, full with various snacks. The boy - the young man - gives him a wide-eyed look. "Shizun doesn't want tea?"

"... It's fine, bring it here," Shen Qingqiu says and drops his hands into his lap. "Thank you, Ming Fan "

It's the kintsugi tea set - one of the better pieces of artwork he'd managed in this time without memories. Shen Yuan knew some interesting things, and he'd managed the foreign art beautifully enough.The gold contrasts strongly against the dark green and seems to almost shine. It is quite lovely.

He isn't sure he would've bothered, remembering the wretched way Yue Qingyuan had gifted him with the set, a poor recompense for what the other Peak Lords had said, for the rumours and insults Yue Qingyuan had done nothing at the time to quell.

He knows now why Yue Qingyuan is so awkward, though. The man has anxiety, trauma, Heart Demons -

Excuses.

Shen Qingqiu watches silently as Ming Fan kneels down to serve him, handling the repaired teapot with infinite care.

"Does Shizun want to take a look at the petitions today? There are a few new ones," Ming Fan asks, casting him a careful look.

Shen Qingqiu hesitates and then shakes his head. "This master trusts Ming Fan to handle them," he says and accepts the tea cup from his head disciple. "Unless there are any especially pressing ones."

"No, Shizun, nothing out of the ordinary," Ming Fan assures him, casting him a concerned look.

"Then handle it," Shen Qingqiu says and takes a sip of tea. It's the medicinal tea Mu Qingfang had prepared for him, which was supposed to stabilise his mood but mostly made him feel floaty and unfocused. Shen Qingqiu sets the cup down, making a decision.

"This Master will be visiting Qiong Ding Peak and Bai Zhan Peak," he says. "After that I will be going into a month-long in-house seclusion. Make the necessary preparations in the meanwhile - during his seclusion this Master will only permit visits under absolute duress, or from Mu Qingfang."

"Yes, Shizun," Ming Fan says, his eyes widening. "But Shizun, what about the new buildings - they haven't been furnished yet."

"That can be this Master's disciples' project during his seclusion," Shen Qingqiu decides. "I want my disciples each to produce or procure at least two artworks and one piece of furniture, which must adhere to proper Feng Shui and match each other aesthetically. Each disciple will be allotted thirty spirit stones from this master's personal funds for this purpose."

"Shizun! That's too much," Ming Fan says, likely making mental calculations. "That will drain Shizun's remaining funds nearly by half!"

"That's fine," Shen Qingqiu says and stands up. "Seal the rest. And make sure the rest of the disciples know this Master will be expecting results - should these funds be used for personal gain, there will be consequences."

"Yes, Shizun, of course. No one will even think of offending Shizun in such a way."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu nods and fetches his robe. "Clear away the medicinal tea from the stores, Ming Fan - this master will drink no more if it."

Ming Fan bites his lip, looking even more worried, but he nods. If nothing else, he's raised a decent enough Head Disciple, despite everything.

Yue Qingyuan is working when Shen Qingqiu enters his Peak. Or, more accurately, the man was working, judging by the ink stain on his thumb - he'd stopped to welcome Shen Qingqiu on his Peak, coming to meet him before he even makes it fully off the Rainbow Bridge.

"Shen-shidi!" the Sect Leader calls with atrocious lack of moderation. "I didn't know you were coming - has something happened?"

"No," Shen Qingqiu says - and that's the problem. "It's been two weeks," he says, pointedly.

Two weeks, during which Yue Qingyuan had not stopped by once for tea or meditation. In that same time Shen Qingqiu had seen Liu Qingge four times, Mu Qingfang twice, Shang Qinghua once, and even Qi Qingqi had sent her regards. But his previously most often seen visitor - not even once.

"Ah," Yue Qingyuan says with a smile that has that all-familiar, distantly polite tinge to it. "I hope Shidi is feeling better, then?"

Shen Qingqiu gives him an unimpressed look and snaps his fan shut, making a threatening motion with it. "Much better," he says, and then, with eyes narrowed, demands, "And Zhangmen-shixiong?"

"Mn," Yue Qingyuan says, nodding.

"Really? It's been so long I can hardly guess," Shen Qingqiu points out. "Shall I assume the Sect Leader's mood and motivations and make myself accordingly scarce?"

And here he is, being mean to Qi-ge again. That didn't take long at all, didn't it?

"I - Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says, a little wide-eyed. "No, of course not. I only thought - you had enough to worry about. I was - taking time for myself. To sort out my thoughts - I didn't mean to make it seem as though..."

Shen Qingqiu straightens his back a little, taking in the man's helplessly alarmed expression and then looking around - and of course, there are already curious disciples, creeping closer to listen and watch. 

He harrumphs and snaps his fan back open. "I assume you have tea around here," he says and looks away. "Ming Fan has been making nothing but Mu Qingfang's medical swill for me these last two weeks. I need a palate cleanser."

Yue Qingyuan relaxes and offers him a relieved smile. "Yes, of course - right this way, Shidi."

It has been a while since Shen Qingqiu had spent time in Qiong Ding Peak outside of Peak Lord meetings. Not that he'd ever spent much time there. Qiong Ding is higher up, and due to the way the mountain peaks were arranged, it's much colder there, and so nothing much grows on the peak, leaving it stony and desolate. All the buildings are also stone, as are the decorations - in place of green things, they have sand and stone gardens in Qiong Ding Peak.

Shen Qingqiu, more in harmony with Wood and Water, was always left a little out of sorts by being surrounded by so much Earth. Yue Qingyuan's personal study is the worst of it. Most of his furniture and decorations are metal. It always grates, to be there.

Shen Qingqiu bears it the best he can, though Yue Qingyuan's cast iron tea pot makes him grit his teeth a little.

"Has Shidi fully recovered? You're still pale," Yue Qingyuan comments.

"It will take a while longer, but I'm better now," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "I'm going into seclusion for a while to deal with the aftermath - in my house," he clarifies when Yue Qingyuan opens his mouth to obviously argue. "I know I'm not fit for the caves, nor will I be cultivating in excess. I only want time and privacy to meditate."

"I see. And you're sure it's… safe?" Yue Qingyuan asks, pouring the tea. "I would feel better knowing you're not alone for extended periods of time."

"I'll permit Mu-shidi to check up on me occasionally, but that's all," Shen Qingqiu says and lifts the cup - which, at least, is earthenware. "Before I seal my house, however, I need to know you're not doing or thinking anything stupid."

Yue Qingyuan sighs, sounding fond. "I fear I might be a lost cause there. But, sincerely, I only meant to ease your burden during your recovery. I have been doing my cultivation practice and meditations. I have been… working my way through what… happened."

Sure you are, Shen Qingqiu thinks dubiously. "Will you finally let me feel your Qi?" he asks. "So that I might check for myself?"

Yue Qingyuan hesitates, his fingers closing into fists nervously. Then he makes himself relax. "Of course."

Giving him an annoyed look Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Don't say that just because you think it's the expected answer. If you don't want me to feel it, then fine. I won't."

Shaking his head, Yue Qingyuan smiles a little wider, a little more sincere. "No, it's fine. I know my reluctance is illogical. You already know everything."

"Fears often are illogical."

"All the more reason to face them," Yue Qingyuan says determinedly and offers him his hand, wrist up and fingers still held in a fist, though it's loose, almost relaxed.

Shen Qingqiu puts his fingers on his wrist and closes his eyes.

He can feel it, the way Yue Qingyuan's life force flows through the sword even now strapped to his back, as though it's not just a spiritual tool but actually a part of his body, another limb, severed but alive. The sword has no spirit, which is something Shen Qingqiu hadn't even thought to be worried about but is relieved to find lacking. The only will Xuan Su has is one Yue Qingyuan gives it. And so, of course, it tries to kill him, draining his life force.

It's all but the embodiment of Yue Qingyuan's self-flagellation, punishing him endlessly even as he tries to work his way out of the pit of guilt he'd drowned himself in.

But his spirit seems stable, for now, his heart fast but steady, his will shaken but unwavering. It would help to have previous experience to compare to, but… it doesn't feel as though Yue Qingyuan had done himself any harm.

You shouldn't have to fight his Heart Demons along with your own.

Hm.

"What does it feel like, Shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asks quietly, watching him with that dumb, hopeless look in his face.

"Like you still have ways to go," Shen Qingqiu says and releases his hand. "But at least I can trust you to not do any excessive damage to yourself in the meantime.

Yue Qingyuan smiles and looks down, rubbing his hand over his wrist. "I admit… I don't know how I should proceed," he admits quietly. "Knowing that you knew. That you'd always known."

"Not always," Shen Qingqiu hums.

"Oh?"

Shen Qingqiu stops and waits for the System to intervene - but it doesn't. Okay then. "Not always. I've known only for so long."

Yue Qingyuan blinks with surprise. "I thought… when? When did Shidi remember?"

Shen Qingqiu reaches for the tea. "The timing is of no consequence," he says, not really wanting to rehash all his actions and decisions since then. "Only know that this Shidi didn't string the Sect Leader along all these decades out of cruelty - I really didn't know better back then."

Yue Qingyuan swallows and turns his attention to the tea cup, thinking it over. "The last few years you have been different," he muses.

"I didn't exactly come back with the intention of rehashing past mistakes," Shen Qingqiu agrees. Instead he'd made whole new ones, but even Shen Yuan wasn't arrogant enough to think he could do everything perfectly. "Not everything has panned out as I might have hoped, but things are… better "

"That's good," Yue Qingyuan sighs. "That's good to know."

"You're still dissatisfied?" Shen Qingqiu asks.

Yue Qingyuan is quiet for a moment, considering the tea cup. "I don't want to start a fight," he then says. "I don't want to make you mad. I really don't." 

Arching his brow, Shen Qingqiu hums dubiously. "With that kind of opening, it seems inevitable."

Yue Qingyuan looks at him unhappily. "You… will not tell me what happened to you. Who did that to you. Will you?"

Ah. "No," Shen Qingqiu says. "I don't think I will, no."

Yue Qingyuan lets out a frustrated sigh. "When Mu-shidi led me into your sleeping mind, he said it would only work if you trusted me, if you allowed me. I - want to believe that's right," he says. "But it isn't, is it?"

Shen Qingqiu narrows his eyes, and Yue Qingyuan lifts his head to meet his gaze, sad and serious and resigned.

"Trust," Shen Qingqiu repeats and scoffs. "Trust goes both ways."

"Yes, it does," Yue Qingyuan agrees quietly and sighs. "And we haven't had it for a long time, have we?"

"Don't take it personally. It's been a long time since I've trusted anybody," Shen Qingqiu says and drains his tea decisively.

"I would like to be someone you could trust," Yue Qingyuan says, not meeting his eyes. "I'm trying, Shen-shidi."

Hesitating for a moment, Shen Qingqiu hums and stands up. "There are things we don't tell people, not just because of lack of trust. Sometimes our secrets aren't entirely our own. Knowing what happened to me will help no one, it will only change things for the worse. So I will not trust you with it, or anyone."

"It would help me prevent it," Yue Qingyuan says, standing up as well.

"I've already done everything I can to prevent it," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "I have other problems now, other threats. That one is being handled."

"But -"

"Trust me," Shen Qingqiu says and sighs at Yue Qingyuan's expression. "Sect Leader. Right now my biggest threat is another mental breakdown and a Qi-deviation. After that, it's being kidnapped by some unscrupulous cultivator looking to use me to boost their cultivation - and," he adds, reaching to touch Yue Qingyuan's arm, "I trust you to make sure that doesn't happen."

The sect leader sighs. "Of course. You're safe in Cang Qiong Mountain."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu says. "Now don't do anything foolish while I'm preoccupied."

"I will try my best," Yue Qingyuan promises wryly and takes his hand into his briefly, rubbing his thumb over the backs of Shen Qingqiu's fingers. "Take care of yourself."

Shen Qingqiu allows the touch, marvelling how it doesn't make him uncomfortable anymore. It's actually… rather nice. Yue Qingyuan had always had such warm, big hands.

It's something marvellous, being able to have this and not feel the least bit weak for it.

"I'll see in a month," Shen Qingqiu says and reluctantly draws away.

He goes to Bai Zhan Peak next, to have a hearty Bai Zhan Peak meal and have a similar talk with Liu Qingge, though with far less wrought emotions. Not only is Liu Qingge far more balanced in that sense - and far less emotional - but they've already talked recently and so have less to cover.

Mostly he's just after the meal.

Bai Zhan disciples eat communally in a big stone hall - which is also where they cook, in enormous stoves and woks and spits. The whole hall smells like a fast food court, and the disciples treat it like that too. Though they have set meal times, the food is available and hot all the time. That's just a point of necessity, in a peak full of training-crazy meatheads who need their protein and sometimes just forget to get it.

Shen Qingqiu has eaten in Bai Zhan twice now, but he remains something of a sensation, sitting there in Qing Jing Peak's airy robes, going ham on the skewers. Shen Qingqiu would care more, except barbeque.

Bai Zhan food is great. Not as good as Binghe's cooking, nothing could be as good as that, but it certainly beats Qing Jing Peak's light, insubstantial meals. It's always a barbecue day in Bai Zhan, and they certainly don't skimp on the spices or fat. It's definitely something.

And of course there's fasting to whet one's appetite - and then there's childhood malnutrition and starvation and several years of inedia.

"Hungry?" Liu Qingge comments, watching as Shen Qingqiu loads his plate.

"Famished," Shen Qingqiu says without shame, and adds a chicken leg, just because he can.

Liu Qingge snorts and leads him to the head table, where senior disciples of Bai Zhan Peak sit. It's not very conducive for private discussions, but the atmosphere - aside from the staring - is great. It's very Hogwarts' Great Hall, really.

Between taking juicy bites of various meats, Shen Qingqiu explains his plans to Liu Qingge. The War God takes it in stride and nods.

"Good. You need it."

"Excuse me?" Shen Qingqiu says, wry.

"You've been out of it since the Qi-deviation. You need to sort yourself out, without outside interruptions," Liu Qingge says with a shrug. "Going into Lingxi caves would probably kill you, though."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Shidi," Shen Qingqiu scoffs, amused, and Liu Qingge makes a face around a mouthful of chicken.

It's incredible to him now, how much he used to hate this man, taking everything he said so personally, so seriously… when in truth Liu Qingge is just completely inept at normal human interactions. It's easier to see that without the ever present anxiety beating in his chest. Here, surrounded by Bai Zhan Peak's mostly male disciples, Shen Jiu would've been in a constant state of flight or fight. This Shen Qingqiu, though…

Shen Yuan came with a plethora of issues of his own, sure - but he'd never been afraid of men. His ready confidence in his own safety among them... It's likely something he will need to learn to counteract one day, if he's ever to venture outside the mountain again. This kind of lack of guardedness can only leave him vulnerable. As it is right now, though, it's one of the nicer changes to Shen Qingqiu's psyche.

Not being afraid all the time… it's really a relief.

He could've done without the constant urge to pet and praise people, but at least it's concentrated only on the two people for now. Or three, but thankfully Binghe isn't back yet.

That's a whole thing he needs to sort out in his head during his seclusion, too. Luo Binghe and… everything related.

"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge says, after they've finished their meal and the War God is walking him back to the Rainbow Bridge. "I'm not going to stop looking into the Endless Abyss. When you go into seclusion, I will go looking again."

Shen Qingqiu sighs. This again. "Liu-shidi…"

"I'm not asking. I'm just telling you," Liu Qingge says with a scowl and folds his arms mutinously. "I'm not going to stop trying."

Really. Just ridiculous. "I just don't think it's necessary," Shen Qingqiu says, shaking his head. "But if you feel you must. Be careful and don't do anything stupid. Like jumping into an interdimensional rift."

Liu Qingge scoffs back at him, looking him over. "Do you need your meridians cleared?" he then offers.

"I'm fine. It wasn't that long ago since you did it the last time, and Mu-shidi can handle it in the upcoming weeks," Shen Qingqiu promises. "I think I can survive a month without you. You can rest assured, you ridiculous man."

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes, like just by saying that he makes something a little more likely to happen. He probably does - he's all but baiting the plot now. But he's also gotten the sense of the limitations of the plot interventions now, and considering the way they're headed, nothing truly major will happen until Luo Binghe gets back. What's a few Qi-deviations here or there in the interim?

"Bring me a souvenir," Shen Qingqiu says, not really serious. "Something nice and practical."

Liu Qingge snorts and waves him off.

Shen Qingqiu's disciples are a little more clingy this time around - the last time he'd gone to seclusion they'd barely batted an eye - now they line up to wish him good luck. It would be annoying if Shen Qingqiu wasn't a little bit touched - even knowing how many of his disciples are just sad to lose a month worth of drama and excitement, they really do seem to sincerely like him enough to miss him.

They… didn't do that, the first time around. Oh, they sucked up to him, they complimented and waited on him and tried to win his favour - but Shen Qingqiu doubts even Ming Fan really liked the original version of him. He had not been a particularly likeable person. Nor had he tried to be. Enjoying the privilege of being liked is just waiting to be betrayed, kicked down, belittled. Better to just cut out the middleman and skip to the part where everyone hates you or tries to use you. At least then people are honest.

Even recalling that doesn't stop Shen Qingqiu from looking upon his current bunch of disciples and feeling a vindictive sort of smug pleasure. He hadn't done much, in the grand scheme of things, he didn't dote upon his disciples or coddle them, he didn't hold that many lessons and he barely had a hand in tutelage in general - but he'd promoted a certain atmosphere and certain standards and expectations on his Peak in the last four years, and they'd borne fruit. And these young men and women are the fruits.

Unlike the original Shen Qingqiu's petty and resentful disciples who'd been prone to competition, bullying and infighting, his disciples are independent, intelligent artists capable and willing to pursue their own interests and improve themselves - without the constant need to compete or compare themselves to each other. And even if sometimes their interests run along the lines of real person fiction about him, well. It's a small price to pay, to see them so gleefully practice their arts. Some of those fanarts are, while raunchy, pretty well done. There are worse things they could be doing with their talents.

He's proud, and damn the original's fragile ego and self-esteem. A lot of these disciples would become great cultivators, eclipsing his own skills in a few decades, and that's a good thing.

"This master will be looking forward to seeing what his good disciples will produce in the following month," Shen Qingqiu says. "Work hard, work together and make something this Peak can be proud of."

"Yes, Shizun!"

"Good luck in your seclusion, Shizun!"

"These disciples will be rooting for you!"

It's a bit much for self-imposed house arrest, really. But really, they're so cute.

With a smile on his lips and an embarrassed, pleased flush on his cheeks, Shen Qingqiu heads inside and seals the house.

The first day of his seclusion inside the Bamboo House, Shen Qingqiu sleeps. Half of it is because of the heavy meal he had on Bai Zhan Peak and half is the lingering exhaustion from the Qi-deviation - going around from Peak to Peak hadn't helped either. And there's something to be said about the version of him that ran the house for the last four years - he'd certainly improved the bedding situation.

Shen Jiu hardly ever slept, as a Peak Lord. He never felt comfortable with that kind of vulnerability and thought it was a waste of time, time which could be used in any other way. By the time his cultivation got to the point where he could handle the need to sleep by meditation and cultivation, he started doing that instead. So, the bedding in the Bamboo House had never been of particular importance to him.

Shen Yuan, though… he liked his sleep. He thought it was essential for proper mental health, and so tried to sleep a full night's sleep every night. Used to the modern comforts of ridiculously thick, innerspring, pillow top mattresses and thick pillows and duvets, he simply could not manage with the harder bamboo bedding. No, the man had hoarded blankets and pillows and piled them on the bed until it was like sleeping on a cloud. It's delightful in a way Shen Jiu hadn't allowed anything to be in his life. Not outside a brothel, anyway.

Shen Qingqiu thinks he will most likely continue the habit of a full night's rest, going forward. The inedia is still a toss up - on one hand, he has lost weight, and it's making him noticeably weaker, and nothing but a healthy diet is going to fix that. On the other hand… It had been rather nice, not having to deal with certain bodily functions. Maybe he could use cultivation to burn away the excess material and not have to deal with it again...

It's not exactly the most important thing, though.

The second day of his seclusion, Shen Qingqiu begins to meditate on the concept of memory. Shen Jiu had the lion's share of it, being older and more experienced in many ways than Shen Yuan who'd died at age of barely twenty and since then has only experienced roughly another decade's worth of time, Shen Jiu, just in the life Shen Yuan had taken over, is older. Adding to that the memories of the original timeline… much older. It's strange that the two sets feel as though they have an equal weight.

Perhaps life isn't measured in linear fashion, or by its length - but rather as a single unit. Unit of existence, as experienced by an individual, is equal to the unit of existence of another individual, regardless of the duration or complexity. A child of ten years of age and an old man of ninety will have the equal measure of existence - only one is more complex than the other. Perhaps that's why the longer you live, the faster the time seems to go - everything condensing into smaller fragments inside the singular unit of experience - while for a ten-year-old hours seem like days and days like years…

Shen Qingqiu manages that particular line of philosophical musings for about half an hour, and then…

[Bonus mission, "Me, Myself and I" is now available. Would you like to activate the mission?]

Opening his eyes, Shen Qingqiu presses his lips together, eyeballing the text suspiciously. "Can you clarify on the nature of the mission?" he asks coolly.

[Bonus missions are optional bonus story content.]

"Didn't think so," Shen Qingqiu sighs and leans back, eyeing the window. The last bonus mission was the "Qi-deviation of Recollection" thing, and that had gone just splendidly. He's still recovering from having his brain in a blender, now the System wants him to do something with a name like that? Suspicious, highly, highly suspicious!

But… narrative-wise… tempting. There are only so many things that kind of name might indicate, and considering the most recent happenings…

"Fuck it," Shen Qingqiu mutters. "Activate the mission."

[You have activated the bonus mission, "Me, Myself and I". Please stand by…]

He'd forgotten how short Shen Yuan used to be. Shen Jiu is about head's worth taller than him, all long lines and angles where Shen Yuan is softer, stockier. The difference in clothing is pretty startling too, with Shen Jiu standing there in all of Peak Lord's splendour, while Shen Yuan stands before him in pyjama bottoms and a hoodie, looking a bit like a bum compared to the proud Immortal Master. The comparison is a bit ridiculous.

They look a little similar though. Same eyes. Same dark hair. Kind of like relatives. Or… different incarnations of the same spiteful soul.

They definitely have the same look of utter disgust on their faces as they eye each other.

"Hmph," Shen Jiu says, looking Shen Yuan up and down. "You're even less than I thought."

"I'm a perfect height to punch you in the dick, don't think I won't," Shen Yuan snorts. "You asshole. Be grateful you have arms and legs. Be grateful to me for having arms and legs."

"Oh, there's still plenty of time for you to throw it all away," Shen Jiu scoffs, throwing his long, dark hair over his shoulder. "And considering where you are heading - or rather where you were heading, I would hardly call it better. Bending for that beast? Tch."

"He was only a beast in your timeline because you made him that way," Shen Yuan says, eyes narrowed.

"And how was he any better in your timeline? Recall, if you please, how you died."

Shen Yuan snaps his mouth shut and then says, glaring, "That was my choice."

Shen Jiu shakes his head, disgusted. "And what were your other options, pray tell? Death or destruction, and there's no telling whether your tragic sacrifice even did anything."

"So I should've done what you did instead, is that it? Fuck it all up, fuck Binghe up, lead it all to ruin - Cang Qiong Mountain levelled, the sect burnt to the ground, the whole world messed up. Liu Qingge dead of Qi-deviation, Yue Qingyuan skewered to death by ten thousand arrows - "

"Those weren't my fault," Shen Jiu snarls. "Luo Binghe ruined the world. Liu Qingge died because of his own negligence, and Yue Qingyuan because he's an impulsive fool. And as I recall, Luo Binghe had been about to ruin the world in your time too, before you dual cultivated the both of you to death - which, I suppose, is something of an accomplishment -"

"Fine, what about now, huh? This time? You lived this time too, but Liu Qingge is alive here, and Yue Qingyuan is getting better," Shen Yuan points out. "Let's compare notes on how we handled that particular one - oh yeah, I forgot, you didn't."

Shen Jiu narrows his eyes. "You had foreknowledge, the situations aren't comparable."

"Excuses, excuses," Shen Yuan snorts. "You didn't even try. Not with Yue Qingyuan, and not with the sect."

Shen Jiu throws up his hands. "Well, neither did they! Why was it my job to reach out when all anyone ever did was spit on me and kick me down -"

"Well, maybe if you had given them opportunity to do anything other than hate you - "

"And why exactly did they have to take every opportunity to do so - "

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a - "

As much fun as it is to watch the two fist at each other's clothes, just one wrong move away from throwing hands, this… is probably not going anywhere, is it.

"Ahem."

Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu shut up, hands freezing where they're pulling on each other's clothes, and turn to look at him, finally noticing that it's not just the two of them present.

Shen Qingqiu arches his white brows at them both and then takes out his fan - Luo Binghe's fan, with cranes by a pond - and smiles. "Well then," he says. "This is going to be fun, isn't it?"

Chapter Text

Yue Qingyuan tries not to fall into the habitual self-flagellation, but it's hard. In the wake of Shen Qingqiu's Qi-deviation and the… changes that had followed, he can't help but wonder, fear, and worry - can't help but wonder how much of what he saw was… his fault. Not just what happened to Shen Qingqiu, but how little Yue Qingyuan realised, how little he knew.

Years. Shen Qingqiu had been different for years, and though Yue Qingyuan had seen some of the changes and even basked in the few benefits he gained from them… he couldn't have fathomed the depth of their origins.

How old is Shen Qingqiu now? How far in the future did he come from? What kind of experiences, what kind of horrors, did he carry in his breast, hiding them so completely that even Mu Qingfang had no idea?

And what… what does it really say about all of them, all the Peak Lords, that Shen Qingqiu had never intended to reveal any of it to any of them. Not even to Yue Qingyuan. Not to Liu Qingge. Not to anyone.

Trust really can be a double-edged blade at times.

"Zhangmen-shixiong's spirit is still unsettled," Mu Qingfang comments, hand on his wrist. "Is there anything this Shidi can do to ease your mind?"

Yue Qingyuan looks down at their hands and sighs. "No, Mu-shidi, there likely isn't."

"It's about Shen-shixiong, isn't it?"

Yue Qingyuan doesn't answer - which he knows is answer enough.

Mu Qingfang hums and releases his wrist. "I visited Qing Jing Peak yesterday. Shen-shixiong is fine - he's meditating, and his energies are settling. Though I can't promise any kind of swift recovery, he seems to be building a sturdy foundation for it, and his will is set. I have hope he will overcome this latest bout of weakness."

Latest bout of weakness, Yue Qingyuan thinks, and looks away.

There had been times when he too had dreamed of going back in time. With his current knowledge, his current power - or even a fraction of it - he could've changed everything. Saved Xiao-Jiu from the Qiu, carried him into safety, into a better life. A hopeless, pointless fantasy that generally plagued him only during his weakest moments - or Shen Qingqiu's. When he Qi-deviated, when he fell ill, when the poor foundation of his cultivation showed itself, Yue Qingyuan couldn't help but dream of better possibilities wistfully, helplessly. If only he could go back, this time he would be stronger, he would make things… better.

Shen Qingqiu had come back years ago, he'd remembered years ago, and Yue Qingyuan can't see how he could possibly be called stronger. The poison, his withered spiritual veins, his half-formed new cultivation method… haven't they made him weaker, given him only difficulties?

"Sect leader," Mu Qingfang says gently, but firmly. "You will not help Shen-shixiong by dwelling in anxiety on his behalf. And you definitely won't help yourself."

Yue Qingyuan sighs again, ruefully this time. "I know I am only feeding my heart demons," he agrees. "But I can't seem to help myself."

"That's a side effect of heart demons. As much as they feed on your fears, they also feed those fears in return," Mu Qingfang agrees. "It's a vicious circle that you must break. Perhaps it would help Zhangmen-shixiong to talk about it?"

Yue Qingyuan shakes his head. "I will not break Shen-shidi's confidence."

"Of course - but you can talk about your own anxieties relating to him - without explaining the details," Mu Qingfang says. "Such anxieties are often simple at heart. Failure, betrayal, missed opportunities…"

Thinking about it for a moment, Yue Qingyuan says, "Trust. It's about trust."

"Ah," Mu Qingfang says, knowingly. "A difficult matter even in the best of times."

How true that is. "I have not trusted Shen Qingqiu," Yue Qingyuan admits quietly. "As you know. I have hidden things from him for decades for fear of his reaction. I… shouldn't feel betrayed to know he, in turn, doesn't trust me either. And yet…"

Mu Qingfang eyes him patiently and releases his hand. "Such things aren't weighed on a balanced scale, I'm afraid," he says. "The perceived betrayal or lack of trust committed against us always seems worse than our own, similar act."

Yue Qingyuan shakes his head at that gentle admonishment. "I know, I know," he answers forlornly. "But knowing it doesn't seem to ease my guilt."

"Guilt?" Mu Qingfang asks interestedly. "If this is a case of Shen-shixiong not trusting you, what does Zhangmen-shixiong have to be guilty about? Surely, you should feel hurt instead."

Should he? Doesn't he? So many of his thoughts of Shen Qingqiu are mired in pain, it's hard to tell. "If I knew more I could help him."

Mu Qingfang hums at that. "Shen Qingqiu is not a man to easily accept help," he says. "And even if he was, you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped. You can't force aid on someone, without the risk of becoming a burden."

Yue Qingyuan almost winces, the words hitting uncomfortably close to home. In these past few years, as Shen Qingqiu aided him with his heart demons and Yue Qingyuan knew so little of his issues… isn't that just what he's been to his Shidi? A burden on top of all the other issues Shen Qingqiu struggled with.

"Ah," Mu Qingfang says knowingly and folds his arms. "So that's the source of the guilt."

"As a Sect Leader, I should be aiding him, aiding all of you," Yue Qingyuan says and shakes his head. "But instead, I have been taking advantage -"

"Is Shen Qingqiu someone you can take advantage of? Is he someone who would indulge others to his own detriment?"

Yue Qingyuan hesitates.

Mu Qingfang nods. "Though I too won't betray Shen-shixiong's confidence, I can tell Sect Leader this - he has benefited from aiding you these past years. What passed between you wasn't one sided by any means."

Yue Qingyuan's heart skips a beat and he looks at Mu Qingfang searchingly. He seems sincere and confident in what he's saying. "I hadn't realised. Mu-shidi truly thinks Shen-shidi gained something?"

"I do," Mu Qingfang says gently. "And perhaps that might be a good exercise for Zhangmen-shixiong in the future - to not centre on what you cannot do for Shen-shixiong, but what you might've already, even unknowingly, done for him."

Shang Qinghua is nervous with him, but then he generally is with most everyone. Yue Qingyuan tries not to judge him or pressure him too much - it would be hypocritical to judge the man for crimes possibly committed in another timeline, when he's not pressing Shen Qingqiu for similar things. Still, looking at him now and not for the first time realising how unlike the rest of the Peak Lords the man is, Yue Qingyuan has to wonder.

"… so as far as materials go, we are in a good position," Shang Qinghua says, leafing through papers, lists, manifests, and very carefully not meeting Yue Qingyuan's eye. "Shen-shixiong injected a lot of funds into our coffers there - and there was a lot left over too. I also found a new supplier for lumber, so in the future if something happens and we need to do a lot of building, we have a decent source for it."

"That's good to hear," Yue Qingyuan answers. "What was the cost estimation for Qing Jing Peak's renovations?"

"Here," Shang Qinghua says and hands over one of his many files. "I put it all down. None of this cost the sect anything, though - Shen Qingqiu paid it all out of his own pocket. I didn't even have to pay for food during the construction…"

Yue Qingyuan looks over the paper, with all the material costs laid out along with the fees paid to a handful of civilian contractors. Though the majority of the building had been done by An Ding Peak with help from Qing Jing Peak disciples mostly in form of manual labour, they had consulted actual experts outside the sect - mortal architects and builders and such - on the matter of the hot baths. The artificial hot springs were something new for the sect, after all, and though An Ding Peak had several disciples dedicated to mastering the art of building and construction, they'd never had to build things to be water-resistant to that extent.

There's nothing about Shang Qinghua's performance that warrants criticism. His general disposition aside, the man has always done good work, and though the other Peak Lords had had their doubts, Yue Qingyuan had never questioned why Shang Qinghua had become the An Ding Peak Lord. For all the ridicule An Ding garnered, it took a special mind to manage it, and all the work thrown its way. It took a busy mind, capable of keeping all the details in order.

Not that Shang Qinghua kept things that well in order when projects were on the way, Yue Qingyuan muses ruefully and glances around Shang Qinghua's office. It's tidy now, or at least tidier than usual - during extensive projects, it tends to become a mess of paperwork, with no discernible order to the chaos.

"So, the construction is fully finished now?" Yue Qingyuan asks, setting the paper down.

"As far as our part goes in it, yes," Shang Qinghua agrees with a relieved sigh. "Shen Qingqiu now has the best equipped peak in Cang Qiong Mountain, as far as facilities go - and only Qiong Ding Peak has more room for disciples. He could almost double the number of disciples, if he wanted to."

Yue Qingyuan hums. Shen Qingqiu had mentioned the possibility of taking on more students, but it had been a passing remark concerning the selection trials. "Do you think he will, Shang-shidi?"

"Take on more students? Who knows," Shang Qinghua shrugs. "That man's mind works in mysterious ways, you will have to ask him."

There's a flippancy to the words, but they're also familiar in a way that makes Yue Qingyuan want to frown. Like Liu Qingge, he hadn't missed how close Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua had become lately - how often they met. The construction had given them cause, but the way they behaved… Yue Qingyuan had never gotten close enough to hear what they talked about, they always changed subject, and Shang Qinghua dismissed himself whenever he got near, but the way they acted towards each other was… very different from the way Shen Qingqiu acted with anyone.

It wasn't exactly intimate… but it was impertinent in a way Shen Qingqiu wasn't with anyone else, didn't allow anyone else to be with him.

Yue Qingyuan eyes Shang Qinghua, and wonders how much of Shen Qingqiu's secrets Shang Qinghua knows. How much does Shang Qinghua remember of the future? It seems it took Shen Qingqiu some time to remember, and even now he seems to have some difficulties keeping the facts straight. Shang Qinghua… didn't seem to be struggling with it.

"Sect leader?" Shang Qinghua asks nervously as the silence stretches.

Yue Qingyuan wonders how badly it might go, if he pressed for answers. The last time he had approached Shang Qinghua about this, the man had squirmed and deflected and very nearly folded over.

Why had the man worn demon's clothing? What regrets did he have that made him want to go back in time? What decisions had he made? How much demonic cultivation does he know, does he still practice it? From what Yue Qingyuan had seen, no. Shang Qinghua seems perfectly satisfied with his life as An Ding Peak Lord, and yet…

We're both shitty people. We made terrible decisions. You think what's coming to me is fair? It's just as fair for you.

What had Shen Qingqiu done to make anyone think he deserved… that?

Yue Qingyuan wants to ask, but he's afraid of the answer - and who knows how Shen Qingqiu would take it, if he did figure it out.

So, Yue Qingyuan shakes his head and turns his attention back to the papers. "Are there any ongoing projects you're working on right now?"

"Minor repairs," Shang Qinghua says with a sigh of relief. "The cellars in Zui Xian Peak need some maintenance, and there was a fire on Wan Jian, by one of the forges - it burned part of the ceiling. Aside from that…"

Yue Qingyuan nods and lets the meeting reach its conclusion without asking the questions he really wants to.

There's a meeting of the sect leaders of the Four Great Sects, called by the Old Palace Master of Huan Hua Palace. Though Yue Qingyuan wishes he could politely decline the invitation, he can't. It concerns the Immortal Alliance Conference and what happened - what they had since figured out. Which Yue Qingyuan suspects isn't much, but is used as an excuse to meet, rub elbows, exchange pleasantries, news… and of course, gossip.

"Clearly the demons had someone with them with the capability to produce portals - a high level demon to be sure," the Old Palace Master says and nods respectfully to Yue Qingyuan. "Very likely the very one Sect Leader Yue faced against by the Endless Abyss rift."

"He did seem to be a high level Demon Lord," Yue Qingyuan agrees mildly, wondering what angle the Old Master might be working this time. "And he escaped through a portal as well, which he seemed to create without an artefact."

"We're fortunate Sect Leader Yue happened to be so near," grizzled Abbot Wu Wang from Zhao Hua Temple says respectfully, nodding his head in Yue Qingyuan's direction. "And that he could take the Demon Lord on immediately. Who knows what horrors he might have pulled through, had Sect Leader Yue not been there to interrupt his plans."

Yue Qingyuan nods in acknowledgement of the praise and looks back at the Old Palace Master - Huan Hua Palace had taken responsibility for the full investigation. "Have you learned anything about the Endless Abyss rift itself?" he asks. "Its appearance was very convenient for the demons attacking - this one rather doubts it was a coincidence."

"Hmm, indeed," the Old Palace Master hums in agreement, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped together. "Though we couldn't find any clues as to how it was done, the Ice Demon Lord must have opened the portal. How much control he had over it is in question - historically, Endless Abyss rifts could not be easily controlled. But I'm afraid we don't know that much about the abilities of the northern ice demons as a whole."

There's an uneasy rumble, many shared glances, and Yue Qingyuan nods thoughtfully. The number of individuals that have ever been able to open portals to the Endless Abyss are vanishingly rare. The most known was the former Bai Zhan Peak Lord, and she'd ascended not long after developing the ability. It was part of the reason why the previous generation of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Peak Lords ascended so early, leaving the Qing generation taking on the positions uncommonly young - the Bai Zhan Peak Lord's ability threatened to overthrow the balance between the four great sects. All she needed to do was open such a portal in any city within the other sect's territory to cause a calamity. It made all the other sects nervous.

Since her, there'd been no one with a similar ability. Not before the ice demon.

"If there's a demon that can open portals like that, we're all in danger," Master Guiliang from Tian Yi Overlook murmurs worriedly and others hum in agreement. "There's no telling where another portal like that might be opened."

"And that it was opened in the Immortal Alliance Conference, targeting our young disciples… truly, this is an unscrupulous demon," Abbot Wu Wang agrees grimly.

The Old Palace Master nods in agreement. "Sect Leader Yue, what can you tell us about the Ice Demon?"

"Truthfully, not much. This one learned very little, beyond his fighting capabilities," Yue Qingyuan admits. He'd been distracted with the need to get back to Shen Qingqiu, too… "Though he's clearly a demon of great strength, I believe he's also fairly young as demons go. A new lord, seeking to make his mark, build his reputation."

"But you defeated him in battle," Abbot Wu Wang says leadingly, hopefully. "A deft victory, I hear."

"He escaped, and though he was injured, I have no doubt he will have recovered by now," Yue Qingyuan says, shaking his head. Calling it a deft victory is taking things perhaps a bit far - it had taken quite some effort, and he'd been beyond grateful he had Shen Qingqiu's sword to use. It wasn't a battle he could've managed bare-handed, and had he not had Xiu Ya, he would've been forced to draw Xuan Su.

"Demons do tend to make swift recoveries," the Old Palace Master says grimly and then turns his attention to papers he had brought with him. "Now, moving on. Our disciples have gone through the entirety of the forest, and though we've been able to recover some of the personal things lost during the incident, it seems that the fleeing demons took with them quite a number of trophies…"

The rest of the discussion rehashes what they already know - the recovery of the remains and other things lost during the attack, the estimated numbers of demons present, their strength, what they'd done. There's some speculation how the Ice Demon Lord had managed to draw such a force together, and though Yue Qingyuan listens to the discussion with all the attention it deserves, his mind strays.

The Ice Demon with the ability to create portals… might be the best chance of finding a way into the Endless Abyss.

He had considered it before, but dismissed the idea for many reasons, least of which was the demon's strength. Though there's no word on what is going on in the Northern Region just yet, it is known that the previous King of the North has died. The demon who attacked the Conference was probably his son, or some other young relative, looking to build a great enough reputation to more easily assume the throne. The greater a demon's reputation, the fewer challengers he would have to face, staking his claim, whatever that might be. Either way… the young Ice Demon might be and likely was a figure of some power.

Targeting him for personal reasons sadly wouldn't stay personal - and Cang Qiong Mountain Sect isn't fit to go into war with the Northern Demon Realm. Even if getting into the Demon Realm was by far easier than getting into the Endless Abyss, even if Liu Qingge could very easily make such a trip just by himself… the risks were beyond severe.

Yue Qingyuan's own Qiong Ding Peak had been devastated by just one demon commander attacking it with her army. A whole realm of demons? Cang Qiong Mountain Sect doesn't have Huan Hua Palace's numbers to throw into such a venture. Especially not just for one Peak Lord, who would most likely and very viciously forbid all such talk if he knew. The whole idea is foolish, risky, and dangerous and Shen Qingqiu would never approve it.

And yet…

"... By our informants," the Old Palace Master is saying, motioning expansively with a wizened hand. "There will likely be a power struggle in the north for the throne. It will most likely bleed into the human realm as well - it already has, during the Conference. Where will they choose to demonstrate their power next… in a city, perhaps?"

Yue Qingyuan looks up, frowning. 

"Normal people would have no way of defending themselves from something like that," Abbot Wu Wang murmurs, looking grim. "Especially if the ice demon opens another rift."

"No, they do not," the Old Palace Master agrees and stands up, looking between them all. "Nor can many of the smaller, younger sects. Many of them have no defences against such assaults."

"How likely are the demons to attack again in such fashion?" Yue Qingyuan asks slowly.

The Old Palace Master hums, and the way he leans back, the expression on his face, they speak volumes. "Well, in my experience… demons are wont to use every opportunity," he says slowly, and his eyes land on the sect leader of Tian Yi Overlook.

"... if this young upstart will claim control of the northern region, there is no telling he will stop there," Master Guiliang says finally, looking from one sect leader to another. "A demon lord with the power to travel anywhere, even to the Endless Abyss. Yes, why would a demon lord like that stick to one region, when there are others to plunder, to raid?"

His sect is the closest to the borders of the Northern Realm, as it happens - not close enough to be in immediate danger, but among the Four Great Sects…

"And," Master Guiliang says slowly, casting a look and a respectful nod to the Old Palace Master. "The Southern Region of the Demon Realm has been without a ruler for eighteen years - it would be easy pickings for a lord of this one's capability."

"It might be, yes," the Old Palace Master agrees darkly. His sect is the closest to that region - Huan Hua Palace has been dealing with unrest on the border for most of those eighteen years and had lost many disciples.

"There hasn't been a Demon Lord that tried to control both regions at once in centuries," Yue Qingyuan says slowly, frowning.

"But it is very possible," the Old Palace Master says with a sigh and shakes his head. "Those demon lords that controlled both regions are still known, their power and influence is still feared. Surely it is something any up and coming young prince might strive for… and who knows what lengths they might go to achieve it."

"Such as attacking our young, promising disciples," Master Guiliang says grimly, hands squeezed into fists - he'd lost many of his favourites in the attack, after all. The Sect Leader of Tian Yi Overlook stands up. "Such a demon lord might be a risk to us all. Perhaps even a worse risk than Tianlang-jun was! We must do something about the insult and threat thrown our way."

"You suggest we strike back at them?" Yue Qingyuan asks sharply. "Go to war? With an entire Demon Realm?"

There's a moment of silence as they exchange looks,  and then the Old Palace Master clears a throat. "Yes, that is perhaps going too far," he agrees and motions Master Guiliang to sit down. "Such things require careful thought, we shouldn't make any drastic choices."

"Drastic?" Master Guiliang demands. "Our sect lost more than 90 disciples! Old Palace Master, you lost 140! And with this Ice Demon's ability, what's to stop them from attacking our sect halls directly next?"

The sect leader of Huan Hua Palace hums, sitting back, frowning. Then he looks at Yue Qingyuan. "Master Yue, you suffered such an attack fairly recently didn't you?"

Yue Qingyuan eyes the old man, wondering how much of this is his doing. He can almost see the strings in the air, subtly moving things along. The Old Palace Master acts as though he's mellowed with age, but the old hunter is still there, looking for every excuse to fight and kill demons. And playing the level head of the Immortal Alliance while subtly stoking the fires…

"It was some years ago, by a small force," Yue Qingyuan says. "The demon saintess that attacked us was young, looking to make her name. She didn't command forces near the level of the Ice Demon's."

"But you still suffered great losses, did you not?" the Old Palace Master asks. "Even by such a small force…"

Yue Qingyuan looks down. The losses weren't insignificant, no.

Master Guiliang jumps at the opening. "And what if next time the attack is by a greater force? Like the one that attacked Jue Di Gorge?" he asks and then looks at the others. "What if the next time it's the Ice Demon Lord that brings such an army into our sect halls, into our pavilions and palaces? Certainly by doing nothing we all but encourage it! If we let this upstart get away with this insult, there is no saying what else he will dare to try."

"There are defences for such things," Abbot Wu Wang says slowly. "We all have our wards and barriers against hostile incursions."

"And yet, Cang Qiong was attacked so easily!" Master Guiliang comments.

"We did bolster our defences in Cang Qiong Mountain after the attack," Yue Qingyuan says, giving the man a look. "This one can assure you, we cannot be attacked in such a manner. As it is, the attack on my sect wasn't done by demons using portals - they travelled on foot. The Conference attack was done by different means."

And Huan Hua Palace was the one in charge of security there, Yue Qingyuan recalls, casting a look at the Old Palace Master.

The old man clears his throat, clearly catching the look. "It is clear we all must strengthen our defences," he agrees. "What happened at the Conference can't happen again. And yet, the civilian cities… have no means for such warding. Nor do many of the smaller sects."

"That's true," Master Guiliang agrees. "The resources of the Great Sects are incomparable."

"Then we must offer the smaller sects and civilian cities our aid," Abbot Wu Wang says, though he too is frowning now. 

Even if the four Great Sects and all the smaller sects with better means put all their resources together… securing the human realm would be an impossible undertaking that would take years, decades. Cang Qiong Mountain Sect didn't have the means for it - neither would any other sect, except perhaps Huan Hua Palace, and they certainly hadn't become the wealthiest sect out there by giving their wealth away in such a way. With unequal means across the sects, it's one of those projects no one would ever agree to.

Yue Qingyuan presses his lips together and glances at the others. The Old Palace Master is watching them, stroking his beard. Master Guiliang's mind is clearly already made. Abbot Wu Wang is still undecided, and he looks somewhat worried. What is being suggested here isn't defence or preparedness, or even just an ambush and subjugation, like what happened with Tianlan-jun. What is being suggested is the far simpler and more straightforward option - a war between realms.

The very kind of war Yue Qingyuan had been thinking of.

It's lunacy, pure and simple. Even if all the sects, even the minor ones, banded together, it would be some thousands of Cultivators against tens and hundreds of thousands of demons, potentially. Between the sects and the Northern Demon Realm there are untold lands, mostly inhabited by normal people, civilians, farmers and tradespeople, with no means to fight such forces. War between the sects and the demons would throw everything into chaos.

And yet…

"... well," the Old Palace Master says finally, taking back control of the discussion. "Such things can't be decided in one sitting. Undoubtedly we all need some time to consider these developments. I can only hope," he adds, "that this council can come to a wise decision, before it is too late."

Yue Qingyuan glances at the others, and smothers a sigh. Clearly the matter has enough support for them to push it. It would come down to a vote. With Master Guiliang's vocal support, the Old Palace Master only needs to get one of them on his side to make the war happen. Thankfully, Zhao Hua Temple is much like Cang Qiong Mountain Sect - they were ruled by a council of Abbots and masters of their temples, rather than by a single sect leader. Like Yue Qingyuan, Abbot Wu Wang couldn't make the decision alone.

But that makes it all the more uncertain what decision either one of them would make. Even Yue Qingyuan can't know ahead of time what the Peak Lords might decide.

"We will reconvene in a week," the Old Palace Master says finally - plenty of time for backroom dealings and scheming.

Well, there's one benefit to ending a meeting on such a dramatic note. For once, not a single one of them asks after Shen Qingqiu.

After coming back from the Immortal Alliance meeting - and after checking Qing Jing Peak, just in case - Yue Qingyuan calls for a Peak Lord meeting. With Shen Qingqiu in his in-house-seclusion and Liu Qingge off hunting, there are even less Peak Lords present than usual, only eight with Ran Qingnan and She Qingshu both busy with work and experiments that couldn't be set aside for a moment. That was fine - eight is more than enough to make a decision.

"Sect Leader," Qi Qingqi hums in greeting, taking her seat. "An unscheduled meeting? And without Shen Qingqiu present. This must be important."

"Is it about Shen-shixiong?" Shang Qinghua asks nervously.

"No, it is not," Yue Qingyuan says with a rueful shake of his head and looks around the table. It does feel rather empty without Shen Qingqiu present, but it couldn't be helped. "Huan Hua Palace called for an additional meeting concerning the events of the Immortal Alliance Conference - they had finalised their investigations."

"Did anything new come up?" Wei Qingwei asks interestedly, leaning in.

"Nothing of note," Yue Qingyuan admits. "But the meeting raised a matter that calls for further consideration."

He explains to his fellow Peak Lords, in as neutral terms and tones as he can manage, the Old Palace Master's current stance. Not that there is truly a neutral or level way to put the old master's very clear intention of going to war - even with his own conflicted emotions on the matter, Yue Qingyuan can't quite hide how disturbed he is by the matter.

"W-war?" Shang Qinghua stutters. "Wi-with the Northern Realm? But that's - that's terrible!"

"And starting a war with the north is easy for him!" Qi Qingqi scoffs. "He's further down south! If the demons retaliate, it won't be his pretty gilded palace on the line, now would it!"

"It is true that what the demons did was especially despicable this time," Wei Qingwei comments. "Attacking young disciples, juniors, most of whom had no way to defend against something like that…"

"You didn't have any disciples on the line - I lost three of mine," Qi Qingqi points out with a huff and turns to Yue Qingyuan. "Was there a final number on how many demons and beasts were present in Jue Di Gorge?"

Yue Qingyuan nods and hands over the list he'd gotten from Huan Hua Palace, with the results of their investigation. "The numbers were significant, as was the strength of the beasts present," he says to the others while Qi Qingqi looks through the paper. "Not counting the ones with the ability to quickly multiply, like the ghost head spiders, there were at least two hundred different demons, yaoguai, wraiths and other beasts in the gorge."

"With that kind of numbers," Shang Qinghua says nervously, casting looks around the table. "D-do we want to risk angering the demon that - that brought them in? A-and do we even have the resources to go to war?"

"As An Ding Peak Lord, shouldn't you know?" Qi Qingqi asks, throwing the files from Huan Hua Palace on the table between them with a scoff.

"It would definitely demand a massive restocking of our medical supplies," Mu Qingfang muses grimly. "A war demands healers, and I wouldn't like to go into something like this without being prepared."

"Yes, and that will be very expensive," Shang Qinghua says quickly, looking at the others hopefully. "Very, very expensive. Does our sect have the funds for that?"

Yue Qingyuan gives him a look - it wasn't that long ago that they'd gone through the sect funds together, after all. Still, funds to manage the sect are on a very different level from ones required to go to war.

"And yet, even so, the threat the demons pose can't be taken lightly," Wei Qingwei says, shaking his head. "While, yes, I lost no disciples at the Immortal Alliance Conference, it is still an insult to all the cultivators present. If we let the demons get away with it and offer no retaliation, they might only grow bolder and try something worse the next time."

Yue Qingyuan leans back as the others discuss it, throwing opinions one way or the other. The table is imbalanced, and they all can feel it - without Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge there, the arguments seem a little unanchored. They all know, if Qing Jing Peak and Bai Zhan Peak Lords were present, they likely would've taken the extreme opposite ends of the arguments, Liu Qingge arguing for war and for hunting demons, and Shen Qingqiu against it. In their absence, Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi had assumed some part of those roles, but they don't sit well with them.

It's a little heartening to realise that even though not all among their number particularly like Shen Qingqiu, his absence is always markedly felt. For all his prickly edges and cutting cynicism, Shen Qingqiu has a role amongst them as the voice of sometimes vicious reason, the way Liu Qingge could sometimes be the voice of vengeful retribution. It made things easy, when the lines could be so easily drawn.

Not that they had been drawn quite so clearly lately. Shen Qingqiu isn't the only one who has been changing. Liu Qingge too… had become somewhat more methodical and thoughtful lately. Though now single-mindedly dedicated to finding Shen Qingqiu the cure, during meetings Liu Qingge is little less likely to jump into irrational action these days. Shen Qingqiu's effect on him, undoubtedly.

Yue Qingyuan steeples his hands and tries to see the matter as objectively as he can. Their sect had been enjoying peace for most of their time as Peak Lords - though the previous generation was early in their ascension, they had done their best to leave them with an easy job, at least to start with. The worst conflict Qing-generation had suffered was the subjugation of Tianlang-jun, which Yue Qingyuan had handled personally, and few attacks here and there, such as the Demon Saintess' attack on Qiong Ding Peak, which were generally handled by individual peaks. They hadn't had to experience war. Not yet, anyway. In that way, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect could even be called soft - they're used to peaceful times, the struggles they'd faced were mostly small and easily handled.

Overall, going by the reactions and emotions present here today… Cang Qiong Mountain Sect did not wish to go to war. Yes, they had lost disciples. Yes, the demons pose a potential threat, which cannot be left unanswered lest they get more bold and try something worse next. Yes, they should prepare and perhaps even look into learning more, and should opportunity arise there should be some sort of retaliation. But as a whole… their sect did not wish to go to war with an entire realm. Not even with all the other Great Sects at their side.

"I want to hear what Shen Qingqiu has to say about this," Qi Qingqi says then, looking towards Mu Qingfang. "Would it disturb his seclusion terribly, to pose the matter to him?"

"Undoubtedly it would," Mu Qingfang says with a sigh. "But I suspect it will be worse if we keep the matter from him. I will go look over his progress tonight - by Sect Leader's leave, I will tell him what we've discussed."

"I trust your judgement on the matter," Yue Qingyuan says and then can't help but ask. "How is Shen-shidi progressing?"

"He's making strides forward," Mu Qingfang says, which is nowhere near enough to settle Yue Qingyuan's heart, but is all he will say.

"Then, this meeting is adjourned," Yue Qingyuan says. "We'll meet again tomorrow, for a proper vote on this matter."

Yue Qingyuan takes the night to meditate on the matter at length, trying to do his best to remove his own feelings from the equation. It's difficult. With what he's learned about Shen Qingqiu and his own fears and doubts, he keeps turning to the matter of the Without a Cure, the Ice Demon Lord - to the Endless Abyss and Luo Binghe lost there. He wonders if he should've had Ni Qinghe scry Luo Binghe's fate again - as long as it remained auspicious, he could rest assured that at least the boy was alive.

It feels once more like he's wading in mud, his own thoughts dull and slow and stuck in a rut. It keeps turning back to that moment, when he realised that Shen Qingqiu had known. All this time - for years - he'd known. Shen Qingqiu had known, and he hadn't said. What else did he know and didn't talk about? What other secrets was he hiding? Just how… how far in the dark had he left Yue Qingyuan - left all of them. Liu Qingge too. And Luo Binghe…

Shen Qingqiu had stopped him from catching Luo Binghe at the edge of the Endless Abyss, and ever since then he'd argued against their attempts of finding him. Despite everything that should tell him otherwise, he remained resolute that Luo Binghe would be back, that he would not only survive the Endless Abyss, but that he'd come out stronger for it. Never once… had he seemed worried.

Was it because all this… already happened? Had Luo Binghe gone into the Endless Abyss before, in the future Shen Qingqiu had seen and left behind? What did Shen Qingqiu know, really, what was he keeping from them?

Perhaps the easier question to answer would be what isn't he keeping from them?

Disheartened by his own thoughts, Yue Qingyuan looks down at his hands, rubbing his palms together idly. He doesn't know what to do with this feeling. Helplessness he knows, even jealousy, regret, but this… It's not that he feels truly betrayed by Shen Qingqiu's actions, the revelation, the secrets. But he does feel… hurt. Which is in and of itself odd, there was a time when he was so used to being hurt by Shen Qingqiu's words and actions that it had become commonplace, he should be well prepared to handle this, but he feels hurt, nonetheless, by the lack of trust.

How very hypocritical of him.

But if Shen Qingqiu knew, if Luo Binghe going into Endless Abyss happened before and he already knows the result - if his confidence in Luo Binghe's survival comes from experience… then… then what? Then they should do nothing and just wait for Luo Binghe to come back? How could they do that, when so much hung on the balance - how could they just wait, when Shen Qingqiu's life was on the line?

Looking up at the sky and then down at the mountain range, Yue Qingyuan eyes the dark silhouette of Qing Jing Peak against the mists hanging low in the mountain valleys. There are lanterns lit about the peak - they glow warmly in the distance, almost inviting. In his Bamboo House, Shen Qingqiu would be getting ready for bed, if he kept to his usual schedule in his seclusion. For a man so ascetic these days, with his adherence to inedia, the man quite enjoys the luxury of sleep.

Yue Qingyuan imagines it helplessly, Shen Qingqiu in his thin sleeping clothes, the white hair gently braided or swept aside, setting aside his secrets for the night to lay his head on a soft pillow, to let his busy, convoluted mind drift off to soft nothingness. It's a beautiful image, gentle and peaceful.

If only things could be so uncomplicated, that they could simply be two men in a simple home like the Bamboo House, and none of these difficult matters ever touched them. If Yue Qingyuan could've gone back right now and done it all over again…

If only.

With a sigh Yue Qingyuan rises to his feet to head inside and sleep.

Chapter Text

Shen Yuan feels a bit like he's woken up from a long and really confusing dream. Or like he's dreaming right now - one of those really realistic dreams where you manage to convince yourself, this is definitely real, only to wake up really disappointed. Everything feels somehow a little bit too… real. While also being extremely unreal.

Shen Jiu is sitting in front of him, glaring at him, hands squeezed into fists at his knees. Shen Qingqiu sits to the right of them, watching them with a mildly curious expression, clearly enjoying their silent battle.

It's weird, remembering being Shen Qingqiu, while also… not quite remembering it. It's like it really was just a dream, and the more he tries to remember it, the more details of it he loses, and the more real his own depressing life seems to become in comparison. Shen Yuan hasn't felt so much like himself in a long time - it's like he's just stepped away from his computer for a moment. He even has the low-key neck ache again, and that ever-present feeling of needing to have a shower but not feeling like bothering with it. It's… ugh.

He's been living as Shen Qingqiu for over a decade now. Decade and a half, if you count the time he was dead and growing as a plant. What the hell, how does any of that make sense? How does that just happen to a person? Sure, there are millions of novels just like this, and anime, and games, and movies, and so on and so on, comics and webcomics and manga. But this is reality. How does something like this happen in reality? And the System, too! There's a System! It wasn't even explained properly, either, it's just a thing, with no indication about why it's there, or who made it, or what its goal is, or who benefits from it, or anything! And why Shen Qingqiu, of all characters! Because of Airplane's shitty unwritten plot outlines?

Shen Yuan can't believe he's been living in the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way for this long, and he hasn't even taken advantage of the foreknowledge he has. What happened to his old plans on how to transmigrate? First rule of Transmigration, don't let anyone know you're a transmigrator. Second rule of transmigration, if you know the setting, use your knowledge to your advantage! How many ancient treasures and long lost lairs and priceless items and flowers and artefacts Proud Immortal Demon Way has? Hundreds! And he knows their hiding locations! Why didn't he ever make use of any of that knowledge?

He could've made so much money just by fetching the Thousand Year Ginseng that grew a few mountains to the south of Cang Qiong Mountain, which Luo Binghe had discovered shortly after burning the sect to the ground - but had he even thought about it? What about the Heart of Lingxi Caves, the incredible well of spiritual energy, where there grew a patch of spiritual herb so powerful Luo Binghe had been able to use them to save one of his wives' destroyed cultivation? That could've been so useful for Shen Qingqiu! What about -

"So," Shen Qingqiu says, looking between them. "What shall we talk about?"

"How about the way you've destroyed my cultivation?" Shen Jiu asks coolly.

"Your cultivation was shitty to begin with," Shen Yuan says, defensive. "And it's not your cultivation anymore."

Shen Jiu glares at him, and then turns his glare at Shen Qingqiu. "You did better in your first try of it," he says with a scoff. "Now you're just one more Qi-deviation away from total spiritual vein degradation. What were you thinking?"

Shen Qingqiu waves his fan idly, wafting cooler air to his face and sniffs. "I was thinking I didn't want to be caught unawares by the inevitable and should prepare for it instead," he says. "Admittedly, that didn't go how I planned."

"Oh, you think?" Shen Jiu asks, disgusted. "You've almost formed a second circle around your lower dantian! What kind of cultivation is that? It's like you want to be known as a Human Cauldron - you might just as well wear a banner announcing how much energy you have stored away for anyone to just take."

Shen Yuan frowns, trying to remember the intricacies of PIDW's cultivation methods. He thinks circle formation was mentioned once or twice, but it was never really elaborated on. Just another example of Airplane's shitty grasp of cultivation and how carelessly he treated it, dropping lines like Core Formation and Nascent Soul Stage and so on, without ever fully explaining the actual sequence of cultivation development. Did PIDW have tribulations, were there realms, did it have levels, stages? Who knows! Airplane used the terms pretty much interchangeably, with no rhyme or reason as to what came in which order.

Worse yet, the time spans and lifespans in PIDW make no sense. Shen Qingqiu was supposedly an Immortal Master, but he was what, thirty, forty when Shen Yuan's spirit took him over? It's hard to say, but he can't be too old, considering that Qiu Haitang, who as far as Shen Yuan knows isn't immortal, was still young enough to entice Luo Binghe, notorious for how young all his wives look. At the end of PIDW Luo Binghe was somewhere along two, three hundred years old, the Immortal Emperor, but in any other setting, he'd be barely considered old enough to have been finished with Core Formation!

Cultivation is supposed to take time, okay? Hundreds to thousands of years of time, with lifespans spanning eons! Cultivating to immortality isn't supposed to be just a fancy title you throw around to sound cool - immortal Cultivators are supposed to have lifespan in the quadruple digits! That's the whole point, isn't it, of immortality? You are supposed to live a long ass time!

Instead, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's Immortal Peak Lords are looking forward to their ascension around maybe fifty, sixty years of age? What kind of bullshit is that!

"What is he doing?" Shen Jiu asks suspiciously.

"He's having a mental rant," Shen Qingqiu says. "Give it a moment."

"I'm not having a mental rant!" Shen Yuan snaps. "But this setting makes no sense! What even is the sequence of cultivation stages here, are there stages? Also circles, since when, and what stage does that occur? After Core Formation? Are we at the Core Formation stage? And how is it realistic for Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Peak Lords to cultivate into divinity after just a few decades?! How is that realistic?!"

Shen Jiu eyes him dubiously, the corner of his mouth lifting in disgust. "What are you talking about?"

Shen Qingqiu explains. "Where he comes from, there are records of different settings with cultivation elements, and usually they're better established than, ah… yours. I admit, even I don't have a full grasp of the stages and intricacies of the cultivation basics in the Proud Immortal Demon Way."

"Ridiculous," Shen Jiu scoffs at them. "The stages are normally clear, but you've damaged our cultivation so badly that you can no longer even make sense of them!"

"No, it's just that this setting sucks!" Shen Yuan says and points a finger at him. "How old are you even?!"

Leaning back with a derisive expression, Shen Jiu sniffs. "How is that relevant?"

"Cultivation success is usually measured in lifespan and years," Shen Qingqiu explains. "How many years have you spent gathering Qi, how long do you expect to live, and so forth."

"I'm immortal," Shen Jiu says derisively.

Shen Yuan lets out a strangled noise of outrage. "You can't even be fifty, how are you immortal this young?! How are everyone so young in this setting - how old is the Old Palace Master? I bet he's not even sixty either!"

Shen Qingqiu lets out an amused cough and covers his lips with his fan to hide his smile. "I have to say, seeing this from the outside is pretty funny," he muses.

Shen Yuan huffs in irritation. "This whole setting sucks, seriously. There are all these plants and animals with incredible potential, and you don't even utilise pills beyond the occasional mention," he mutters. "I bet you could make so many different kinds of pills to improve cultivation here, but nooo…"

"She Qingshu does make cultivation pills," Shen Jiu says, clearly confused and growing more irritated in his confusion.

"Have you taken a single one in your life?" Shen Yuan asks challengingly and waves a hand. "People don't even grow spiritual herbs! There's all sorts of plants that could probably be used to create all sorts of useful things, but no, it's just papapa all the way! I hate this book!"

Shen Qingqiu snorts behind his fan. "Anyway," he says, turning to Shen Jiu. "Circle formation."

Shen Jiu clears his throat, giving Shen Yuan even more dubious looks. "It's not a common practice," he says. "As it has a tendency to imbalance the meridians. I certainly didn't attempt it. Cultivating in a certain way, you can form extra layers around your core, which act as a sort of duplicate, or extra shell of energy. In essence, you're forming a second dantian on top of the first, which in theory doubles its energy and potential." He sniffs. "It's more commonly done to your golden core, not your dantians."

"So we're not in the Golden Core stage?" Shen Yuan asks, eyes narrowed. "Isn't it supposed to go in a sequence, from Qi Condensation to Foundation Establishment to Core Formation, and from there to Nascent Soul Stage and so on? We're not even at Core Formation - but we're already immortal?"

"I remember people claiming I was at Nascent Soul Stage in my first save," Shen Qingqiu comments thoughtfully.

Shen Jiu eyeballs them both like they're both insane. He is also not explaining, though, which, hah!

"You don't know either, do you?" Shen Yuan accuses gleefully. "You don't know how your own damn cultivation works, because this setting never explained it - you just think you do, because the text says that you do, but really, you have no idea either. No one does! It's just used for plot hooks! Same with you," he points to Shen Qingqiu. "That's why everyone is panting after your ass - because this setting makes no damn sense, but you did a thing and it's a new thing. It has nothing to do with cultivation - it's because you're a MacGuffin!"

Shen Qingqiu leans back, looking a little hurt. "I'm at least a Deus ex Machina," he says, sniffing. "I have utility!"

"Ha, you wish! You're a Damsel-to-be-in-distress. A Plot Device - an Amplifier Artefact at most!

Shen Jiu lets out a furious noise. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Nothing," Shen Qingqiu says with a slight laugh and rueful shake of his head, and sits up a little straighter, becoming serious. "The reasons for the messy cultivation in this setting aside… clearly we need to do something about it." He looks between them. "We need to get our cultivation in order."

It's a bit much to call it theirs or ours, Shen Jiu thinks with disgust, giving the white-haired fake an ugly look. It was his once. Only his. Now it's… not.

Looking away, Shen Jiu bites his cheek and tries not to let his emotions show, no matter how much he wants to throttle both of these doubles, he knows it won't do anything. Shen Yuan is him, Shen Qingqiu is him, he can't get rid of them any more than they can get rid of him. As much as it grates to be sharing his existence like this, it's only him here. Different versions of him.

Not better versions of him, though. He's not sure what's worse, to realise that he reincarnates into a useless layabout, or that that very layabout has a better relationship with his martial siblings than he ever managed. No, actually, what's worse about it is the fact that his future reincarnation and their unfortunate blending are both somehow worse than he was in certain things. Namely taking care of himself.

Reincarnation should be a fresh start, a chance to not make the same mistakes again. There's no question about it here, though - Shen Yuan had done worse for himself, and Shen Qingqiu is the worst of them by far. All their worst habits condensed into one single idiot.

Shen Jiu is starting to seriously wonder if someone had placed a curse on his soul. The beast probably.

"I think we need to cultivate to a Physical Breakthrough," Shen Yuan says thoughtfully. "Physicality is clearly what's holding us back. As far as Spiritual and Emotional goes, we're almost there already. Maybe if we manage all three Breakthroughs at once…?"

"It will probably kill us," Shen Jiu says with disgust. "Think of the state of our spiritual veins! That much energy flowing through them all at once? They will break for sure."

"Well, what do you suggest then?" Shen Yuan asks. "Go on, Great Master Shen Jiu, share with us your wisdom. How do we fix our spiritual veins?"

Shen Jiu scoffs at him. "If I knew that, don't you think I would have done it when I was alive?" he demands. "Only careful cultivation can do that."

"Which we can't do properly with the Without a Cure," Shen Qingqiu comments.

"Mn," Shen Jiu agrees, his mood darkening further. Though he isn't privy to all of Shen Yuan's knowledge, he remembers being Shen Qingqiu too - he knows the cure. Dual Cultivation with the beast - or another Heavenly Demon. "Why didn't you use the opportunity with Zhushi-Lang?" Shen Jiu demands, giving Shen Qingqiu a look. "He was right there."

Shen Qingqiu's glare is frosty. "Because I am not a rapist."

"Oh, you know what I mean," Shen Jiu says with disgust. "You could've talked to him, offered him something, anything - the Sun and Moon Dew Flower, for example! It would've been more than a fair trade. It didn't even need to be right then - you could've cultivated a relationship first. You seem to have a talent for that."

Shen Qingqiu's glare grows even colder.

"He did like you the last go-around," Shen Yuan agrees, though he looks a little uncomfortable. "Though, Zhuzhi-lang is… uh…"

"You barely even considered it," Shen Jiu adds, scoffing. "Or Tianlang-jun." Although he can't remember much of it, he does have an impression of what Shen Qingqiu thought of Tianlang-jun. The Demon King of the South likely would've enjoyed the opportunity immensely. "No, you're completely hung up on the beast. Even now, even with my memories! Do you even understand what he did to me - to you, now? How can you still …?"

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat and looks down.

Shen Yuan scratches at his hair. "Luo Binghe is the protagonist," he says, a little faintly.

Shen Jiu scoffs with disgust. "He's a monster, a madman to be, a tyrant and a dictator. He tortured me for years - but you don't care," he hisses. "Because he's your favourite character, and I'm the scum villain who deserved it."

"… you didn't," Shen Yuan says, looking stricken.

"You didn't," Shen Qingqiu agrees quickly. "Shen Jiu, what - what happened, it's - "

"Oh, save it," Shen Jiu scoffs. "I know what happened, I know why it happened. And I know it holds no importance to either of you, because you love Luo Binghe more than you care about yourself."

The words strike both of them silent and awkward, leaving them uncomfortably avoiding each other's eyes. Shen Jiu grimaces and looks away, the words striking a little close to home for him too, but someone had to say them.

That's something that runs deep in all three of them - self-hatred. Oh, Shen Yuan doesn't see it like that, it's more of a complete disregard for his own wellbeing, and Shen Qingqiu has found a way to dress it up pretty and call it self-sacrifice. But it's hatred, pure and simple. That's something that's fundamental to all three of them - they hate themselves. Even Shen Jiu hates himself more than anything - more than he hates Luo Binghe.

And Shen Yuan loves Luo Binghe more than he hates himself - so that trumps all their other interests. It's a disturbing sort of reverential love, too, which makes it all the more powerful. It all but overwrites their better sense, what little of it they have. Which isn't much.

"This… gotta be so fucked up for you," Shen Yuan comments awkwardly.

"Oh, you think so?" Shen Jiu scoffs. "You disgust me. Your adoration of that demon beast disgusts me."

Shen Yuan's eyes narrow, and the glimpse of sympathy in them disappears. "Well, you're not exactly a stellar person either, you child-abusive piece of shit. "

"I had reasons - and I was justified - "

"Like hell - you had excuses!" Shen Yuan says and points a finger at him. "And how Luo Binghe turned out isn't even a good one, because he became what you raised him to be!"

"And so I deserve what he did to me?" Shen Jiu demands.

"Obviously not! But you know that would've never happened if you'd treated him right!" Shen Yuan says, waving his hand violently. "Just look at how he treated the Old Palace Master, compared to how he treated you! The Old Palace Master is worse than you, but he treated Luo Binghe with respect - and so Luo Binghe returned the favour - "

"So I should've faked it, is that it, I should've sucked up to that little beast - "

"Treating a student the way they should be treated isn't sucking up! Not whipping them or starving them or intentionally fucking up their cultivation isn't sucking up! You went out of your way to kick him down at every opportunity because of your fucking insecurities -"

"Alright, alright, both of you, shut up," Shen Qingqiu snaps, waving his fan between them. "Shen Jiu messed up by treating Luo Binghe shitty. You messed up by coddling him and then betraying his trust at the Immortal Alliance Conference. I probably messed up too, in ways I don't even know yet," he sighs. "We're all shitty people. Yay us. Can we get back to the matter at hand?"

"No, I think this needs to be addressed," Shen Yuan says, eyes narrowed, glaring at Shen Jiu. "Why the hell did you go out of your way to abuse Luo Binghe that much? What did that little white sheep do to you? Aside from having better potential than you!"

Shen Jiu glares back at him, but… he doesn't have an answer. There isn't an answer. It wasn't anything Luo Binghe had done. It was what he was.

It was Liu Qingge recognizing a kid who'd done nothing but dig holes, when he refused to recognize Shen Jiu even after they'd spent years as Peak Lords together. It was the way Luo Binghe could mould Qi even before he got his hand onto a cultivation manual - how he managed to improve, even when given a faulty manual. It was the way Ning Yingying took him under her wing, like Qiu Haitang had once done to Xiao Jiu, so unknowing, so familiar, so similar.

It was the hopeful look in Luo Binghe's eyes when he offered that first cup of tea, and it was Shen Jiu thinking for one horrified moment, did I look like that once?

Shen Jiu looks away, gritting his teeth. There was once a time when he'd been so similar. He'd learned to mould Qi on his own too. He'd been able to even manipulate soft metals, like gold, with his Qi, without ever being taught. He'd been so proud of the talent. If he saw a child of similar age with that talent now, he'd know they had extremely powerful roots and great potential. A genius for sure.

He'd never been able to do it again, after Qiu Manor had burned down, though.

"Well?" Shen Yuan demands, leaning forward, his eyes blazing furiously. "You have nothing to say for yourself?"

Shen Jiu grits his teeth. "No. I don't," he says, and it's because these two are only versions of himself that he can admit it, "I know… I could've done better."

Shen Yuan snorts. "Wow, that looked like it hurt. Can't even admit you did wrong properly, huh? You really are scum."

"You - you're not better," Shen Jiu snarls, swinging back to the defensive. "You didn't try to stop the Immortal Alliance Conference, even knowing how many would die. You only look for ways to benefit yourself, make yourself seem better, ingratiating yourself into everyone's graces -"

"Hah, as if! You know that's not true - "

"Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge," Shen Jiu scoffs.

Shen Yuan scoffs right back. "That's two people, and that's not even me," he says and points to Shen Qingqiu, who's watching them with exasperated expression. "That's him."

Shen Jiu glares at him, disgusted anew. Spineless little coward. "That was you, wearing my body like a suit of clothes. And I can't help but notice you not denying the Immortal Alliance Conference."

"Well, that's - because it's the plot - "

"Did the System ever say the Conference needed to happen?" Shen Jiu asks coolly. "No. Not once. Only that Luo Binghe needed to go into the Abyss. That could've happened in any number of ways. You could have warned Yue Qingyuan that something was happening, the Conference might've been postponed or moved elsewhere, and then you could've taken the little beast with you to investigate and throw him down the rift without hundreds of disciples from dozens of sects dying in the process."

"Actually," Shen Qingqiu starts to say, while Shen Yuan looks vaguely horrified.

"Don't try to justify it with the damn System," Shen Jiu snaps, turning to glare at him. "You didn't even think of it."

"No," Shen Qingqiu agrees easily. "I didn't. But I still think it would've happened regardless. Not just because of the System," he adds. "But because I think it was planned. And not just by Mobei-jun."

Shen Jiu gives him a look. "What are you talking about?"

Shen Qingqiu shrugs. "You of all people know how hard it is to get into the Immortal Alliance Conference with ill intentions. That's how you met Yue Qingyuan again," he reminds him. "And yet this time, hundreds of enemies and monsters snuck in without any issues, without anyone knowing any better. And sure, Shang Qinghua was there, helping it happen - but he was in charge of logistics. Huan Hua Palace was in charge of security."

Shen Jiu leans back a little, surprised. "You think they had something to do with it?"

"I think it was all very convenient," Shen Qingqiu says, looking between them. "And the story has grown so much more complex these last few years. Why did Mobei-jun even attack the conference? What was the reason? To prove himself, to gain fame and grow his reputation? Sure, but… maybe it was because the opportunity was there. Maybe someone… left an opportunity there."

Shen Jiu hums, thinking about it, while Shen Yuan folds his arms, looking thoughtful. "Demons do tend to have an uncanny way of knowing about these things," he muses. "Like when Sha Hualing attacked Qiong Ding Peak when Yue Qingyuan was away. Just one point of weakness - and she found her way in. And Shang Qinghua wasn't involved with that one."

"Mmhm," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "In the original text it was just plot points, making things more interesting - but here, now, it's the way things are. When a weakness presents itself, demons take advantage. So, if someone were to, say, intentionally leave a weakness in the Immortal Alliance Conference's security… there's a good chance someone would jump at the chance."

"But…" Shen Yuan makes a face. "Why the hell would anyone do that?"

"The Old Palace Master is notoriously hateful towards demons," Shen Jiu says thoughtfully. "He didn't go after Tianlang-jun because he posed a threat - he did it because he hates demons and because Tianlang-jun was a good king who kept his realm stable and at peace with humans. Take the Southern King out, and the Southern Region destabilises. It's the closest to Huan Hua Palace's territories, too. They've been fighting ever since."

Shen Yuan shakes his head, disturbed. "But why? What does he gain from it?"

"What doesn't he? It's a reason to recruit, it builds up his power, his influence - it gives him reason to send more and more raids into Borderlands and the Demon Realm," Shen Jiu shrugs. "Demon Realm is full of riches in the form of raw materials and artefacts, soaked in raw natural Qi. Huan Hua Palace made its fortune by plundering the Borderlands and the Demon Realm - Tianlang-jun's reign made it unseemly and unethical. So…"

"Get him out of the way, throw the region into chaos, and plunder away," Shen Qingqiu concludes.

"That's disgusting," Shen Yuan scoffs.

"That's politics," Shen Jiu answers and runs a hand over his chin. "So, the Old Palace Master invites demons to attack the Conference. Why? To garner more sympathy and backing for his ongoing war? He already has a reason to plunder the Demon Realm, doesn't he? He lost almost a hundred of disciples in the Conference, that's… not beneficial to anyone."

Shen Qingqiu considers it. "It has been many years since Tianlang-jun. At a guess, the Old Palace Master's support is probably waning," he muses. "I don't think he was expecting that big of an attack. And," he adds, his expression darkening. "Most of the Huan Hua Palace disciples in the conference weren't even proper cultivators. Only Gongyi Xiao performed to advantage, the rest… either died or had to be protected by other disciples. Like Luo Binghe."

"They were cannon fodder," Shen Yuan concludes, making a face. "That old man is just the worst."

Shen Jiu casts a look at Shen Qingqiu, quietly sizing him up. He wouldn't have been able to draw that conclusion with just Shen Yuan's memories. Guess his memories did benefit the white-haired fake, after all. "And he wants to get his hand on us," he comments. "On you."

"I'm really trying not to think about it," Shen Qingqiu says, closing his eyes and looking pained. 

"You know why, right?" Shen Jiu presses. "Do you know what a Boundless Cauldron is?"

Shen Qingqiu sighs. "I can imagine," he says, and shudders.

"Are they really a thing?" Shen Yuan asks, looking morbidly fascinated. "Have there been people who are… Boundless Human Cauldrons?"

"There have been rumours," Shen Jiu scoffs. "And of course when there are rumours, then there will always be people claiming to have had the experience. That is likely how this rumour began - they took the tale of your Sympathetic Healing and stretched it out of proportions, then someone mentioned having met Shen Qingqiu, and someone else took that to mean they'd gotten to partake. And you sealed your fate by making it seem as though you'd recently come into a great deal of spiritual stones," he adds, casting Shen Qingqiu a look. "Far more than any single Cultivator, even a Peak Lord, would have access to by normal means."

Shen Qingqiu snaps his fan open and shut, open and shut, looking anxious. "I… didn't think. I just…" he trails away, grimacing. "I got carried away."

Shen Jiu snorts.

Four deaths - no, six now, his own two deaths included - and three reincarnations later, and Shen Qingqiu is still a fool. It's almost comforting, except for how damn disheartening it is.

Shen Qingqiu snaps his fan open and resumes fanning himself, while Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan both eyeball him. "Well, whatever happened, it happened," he says and looks away. He can never live through the Immortal Alliance Conference without regrets it seems. He always does something terribly wrong. "Back to the matter at hand. Which is our cultivation." And mental health, but neither Shen Yuan or Shen Jiu are equipped to go there, really…

"The Old Palace Master's interest in us is part of the matter at hand," Shen Jiu says. "It's not just the potential benefit one might get from partaking in Boundless Human Cauldron's cultivation. It's also the money you supposedly made, and the fact that this is a skill you're supposedly mastering. Which you are. What you're doing right now is developing a cultivation method centred around Dual Cultivation and being a Human Cauldron. That's bad enough - but if it's a skill you, a Peak Lord of a scholarly peak and a teacher, can pass on to others…"

Shen Yuan lets out a disgusted noise. "Oh, that's worse, you're making it worse, why are you making it worse?"

"Huan Hua Palace recruits quite a deal of female cultivators," Shen Jiu continues mercilessly. "Mostly stupid, naive, inexperienced girls who have no idea how cultivation works. Imagine the value, teaching them to do what people think you did for Liu Qingge, and then selling that as a service - "

"A system of cultivation prostitution," Shen Yuan says and makes a face. "Damn.  Even for this setting... Actually, that sounds just right for this setting - but it's been changing! It's not the old Stallion Novel anymore! We're in a BL harem novel now, so that's not on brand at all!"

All things considered, it sounds very much on brand, actually.

Shen Jiu rolls his eyes at him and looks at Shen Qingqiu. "That's your value. That's your worth," he says coolly. "That's the cultivation method you're in the process of creating."

"Yeah, and I regret everything," Shen Qingqiu says faintly.

"Maybe there's something we can do to change it," Shen Yuan says, looking a little wild around the eyes, looking between them. "Seriously, this setting has so much potential - especially in, uh… this direction. Between all the papapa flowers and dual cultivation being a cure-all and all the rest - maybe we can… somehow make it… better? Or not better, but, uh…" he thinks about it for a moment. "Maybe we can make it so that it's not… beneficial… to whoever we, uh…"

"So you want to become an incubus?" Shen Jiu asks, darkly amused.

"Uh…" Shen Yuan blinks, giving him a curious look. "Is that possible?"

"No."

"Oh."

Shen Qingqiu's fan pauses as he thinks of it. "Huh," he then says. "That's… maybe that's not the worst idea."

"Oh no," Shen Jiu mutters. "No, it's a terrible idea -"

"I don't mean the incubus thing, that's ridiculous, we're not a demon," Shen Qingqiu says, closing his fan with a snap. "But the - the other thing. Human Cauldron, as a story element, it's kind of like Dual Cultivation, right? How it works can depend on the setting. Usually it's just a fancy way of framing sexual assault, but there are other ways to implement the concept. In a way, I acted as a Human Cauldron for Liu Qingge when I did the Sympathetic Healing - but I didn't just give him energy. I took something from him, too."

"Yes, his poisoning," Shen Jiu says. "How is that beneficial?"

"Maybe if it can be used to take in poison… it could take other things," Shen Yuan says slowly and looks up. "You know, I've always had a bit of a pet peeve with the term, Cauldron. It makes sense, sure, make something in a cauldron and the cauldron contains it and then you can take it out, but… like… if you take the soup out of a pot normally, it doesn't make it less of a pot."

"Yeah," Shen Qingqiu agrees, thinking hard now. The thought is only half-formed, but…

"Yes, well, humans aren't soup pots," Shen Jiu scoffs, looking between them warily. "And what you're thinking right now - taking Qi from one person to be contained in your cauldron, which you could then give to others? That's a Boundless Human Cauldron."

"You just made that up," Shen Yuan accuses him. "Before it was one you could use repeatedly without using them up - "

Shen Jiu's back to looking disgusted. "Well, you only slightly evolved the concept, but it's still the same concept."

Shen Qingqiu interrupts them, whacking his folded fan against his palm. "Yes, yes, same difference," he says, waving the fan. "But no, that's not what I'm thinking. When I did the Sympathetic Healing, I took Liu Qingge's condition and gave him Qi in return. It boosted his cultivation, sure - but it changed me physically. It wasn't just the poisoning, either," he pinches a bit of white hair in his fingers, bringing it forward to display it. "I'm physically different now."

Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan stare at him silently for a moment. Shen Yuan is the one to get it first, snapping his fingers. "Cast iron!"

"Yes," Shen Qingqiu nods, excitedly. "Exactly."

"What?" Shen Jiu asks, confused and wary.

"Cast iron," Shen Yuan says, grinning now. "He's a cast iron cauldron. Liu Qingge seasoned him!"

"What?" Shen Jiu demands, more irritated than confused now. "What are you talking about now?"

Shen Qingqiu laughs a little. "Cast iron cookware gets better the more you use it," he explains, shaking his head. "Cooking in it seasons it, creates a protective layer, makes it in essence stronger."

"Tastier food too," Shen Yuan says, smiling a little, nostalgic. "Mom had all kinds of cast iron stuff. Everything always tasted better when she used the cast iron stuff to make it," he explains. "She was really anal about them too, never let anyone else touch them. Worried we'd mess up the seasoning."

Shen Jiu looks between them dubiously. "Well, considering how Liu Qingge seasoned you, I wouldn't call it a benefit."

"Yes, but we haven't tried it any other way yet," Shen Qingqiu says. "Maybe we can do what I did with the disguise talismans, and somehow copy the System skill… maybe I could use it in different ways. Maybe I could take other things into myself. Beneficial things."

There's a moment of silence as they think about it. Then Shen Yuan asks, "What if it's at the cost of whoever you're, you know… Human Cauldroning for? What if it ruins their meridians in turn?"

Shen Jiu hums in agreement. "That would be essentially you using them as a Human Cauldron," he says darkly. "Using their cultivation to benefit your own."

"It could be a fair exchange," Shen Qingqiu muses. "Exchanging a bit of their physical fortitude for power, for example. And if I can do this, I might be able to do it the other way around too. Give someone else health and take their Qi in return. And Dual Cultivation is supposed to boost both participants' cultivation too, so..."

"Huh," Shen Yuan hums. "You know, you could probably utilise some spiritual pills or something for that? Take a pill to boost your Qi and then offer that Qi to whoever you're, you know…" he trails away thoughtfully. "I wonder if you could make a pill from the Sun and Moon Dew Flower - now, that thing had some power…"

"Hm," Shen Qingqiu hums. "Maybe…"

Shen Jiu doesn't look particularly impressed with their line of thinking. "You know that's exactly what they think you already can do, right?" he points out flatly. "You're just putting it to words now."

"Yes, yes," Shen Qingqiu agrees and opens his fan again, waving it idly. "But if it's something I can control, then it's not something anyone can take from me. After all, what's to stop me from reaching inside them and just imploding their core? I know how to do that, after all. I know how to do that very well."

Shen Jiu is quiet, eyeing Shen Qingqiu with a strange expression. "If you can even do it in the first place," he says warily. "What you're suggesting isn't just ridiculous - it's unheard of."

"Now that the idea is there's a hundred percent chance the System already has a solution," Shen Yuan points out.

Shen Qingqiu hums in agreement. It absolutely would - and it would charge through the nose for it.

"Tch," Shen Jiu says. "And how are you going to stop yourself from being, say, poisoned? "

"We already are poisoned," Shen Qingqiu points out.

"I mean by foreign Qi, you idiot. We're already prone to Qi deviation - if you start taking foreign Qi into our system you'll just exacerbate the issue."

Shen Yuan makes a sound of realisation. "Right, that. Like by Luo Binghe's demonic Qi. Which is… something we're going to be coming into contact with. Intimately. And have some, uh… bad experiences with."

There's that. "Isn't that what cauldrons are for?" Shen Qingqiu muses. "Making inedible things delicious? I just need to figure out a way to cook foreign Qi into something I can digest, and voilà!"

"That's disgusting," Shen Jiu hisses, making a face. "I can't believe you're still planning for it. With that beast."

"Binghe isn't a beast," Shen Yuan says, throwing him a glare. "Didn't we go over this already?"

"I didn't say I agreed," Shen Jiu sniffs and turns to Shen Qingqiu. "The least you can do is bed Yue Qingyuan first. Or Liu Qingge, if you must."

Shen Qingqiu's hand freezes, the fan stilling. "I'm - sorry?" he asks faintly.

Shen Jiu gives him an irritated look. "Obviously not now - Dual Cultivation would probably kill you right now. And him," he mutters. "But once you're - ready. Don't let that beast be the first, at least."

Shen Qingqiu blinks while Shen Yuan gapes at Shen Jiu. "I'm sorry?" Shen Qingqiu asks again, slightly shrill now, and there's a popup.

[Bonus mission, "Me, Myself and I", is now complete! Shen Qingqiu's Character Complexity has been enhanced! +200 B-points! Please continue your efforts!]

Shen Jiu scoffs and throws up his hands. "Useless," he says. "All of you, absolutely useless!"

And, of course, before he can explain… the dream ends.

Chapter Text

After having spent a few days outside the sect, Liu Qingge feels… more settled than he has in a while. Trying to help Shen Qingqiu in a method that was entirely out of character to him had left him feeling off, stifled by his own thoughts and desires. The wilderness seems to wipe all that away, layer by layer, until all the stupid expectations he'd placed upon himself cleared and there was just him and the realisation of how fucked he really was.

Well, not fucked, exactly. There are worse things to be than attached to Shen Qingqiu. But it's dawning on him how permanent the situation really is - and its side effects. It's not just affecting his schedule or his priorities - it's affecting his personality now, too. This incessant urge to be of use… to do something… to make things better for the stupid, beautiful man who seems so intent on his own self-destruction at times that it seems absurd.

That might be going too far too. Whatever Shen Qingqiu is doing, it isn't self-destruction. Self-transformation, perhaps - which hides in it a seed of self-destruction, as a vital part of the process. To become what Shen Qingqiu is intending to become, something of what he is currently has to perish, perhaps. It's a messy process, either way.

Liu Qingge had done what he could to help. He still doesn't know if he had or if he'd just made things worse. Perhaps it was both. Either way, involving himself so intimately in the process had left him... deeply unsettled.

It's good to be out. It takes a few monsters and one rogue demon - a mindless, wildly rampaging demonic hound - to really settle his nerves, but Liu Qingge feels more like himself again, like the War God of Bai Zan Peak, and not just Shen Qingqiu's… whatever. Outside Shen Qingqiu's gravity, he can stretch his limbs, breathe deeply, and not have to worry about sticking his foot in his mouth, taking accidental swings at targets he doesn't mean to hit.

Cleaning his sword, Liu Qingge considers his latest kill, an awakened ginkgo tree that had taken on a resentful tint due to a murder victim still hanging off its branches, and had been making a mess near a small village, killing animals and attacking people. All that's left is materials now - the wood is spiritually imbued and would make for some fine artefacts, and the fruits could be used for elixirs. It would be good money for Bai Zhan Peak. And the victim…

Ordinarily, Liu Qingge wouldn't really care. He isn't the investigative type - if there were victims like these, he buried them, gave them the proper rites and respect to put their spirits to rest, and left it at that. But with Shen Qingqiu still in his mind - and Luo Binghe too - he can't help but recall the way Qing Jing Peak disciples handled victims. He'd seen it more since Luo Binghe, and though part of him couldn't help but find it a waste of time…

"Tch," Liu Qingge clicks his tongue, putting Cheng Luan away. Covering his fingertips in a sharp blade of Qi, he cuts the rope from the victim's neck and then spends some time examining the body, taking in those details that Qing Jing Peak disciples seemed so keen on finding. Age, sex, features, any personal items… there's not much there, though. Whoever the person was, they were likely robbed before they'd been hung up on the ginkgo tree. Not much to go on, but the ginkgo tree had preserved the victim's features - someone might be able to recognize them.

It's getting late, but the village wasn't far. He'd take the victim back, maybe the locals knew them. And if not, it would be better to bury them in a proper graveyard - even with all the proper rites seen to, lone graves could still fall victim to resentful energies and other disturbances. In a graveyard, the victim would be a little less likely to develop into a fierce corpse.

Liu Qingge is in the process of wrapping the body in a cloth for transport, when his senses alert him to a disturbance in the forest. The birds go quiet, the forest critters still. There's no aura, no malicious energy, but the forest is suddenly on alert, and more so than it had been with the gingko tree. There's a predator, approaching.

Putting a hand on Cheng Luan's grip, Liu Qingge listens, enhancing his hearing with Qi until he catches it - a rasp of something moving in the ungrounded. Not sneaking, not crawling - slithering. A serpent, or a reptile. And then - the sound of clothing, snagging on branches?

A little incredulous, Liu Qingge turns - and sure enough. It's the Snake Demon from Bai Lu Forest.

"What are you doing here?" he demands, his grip on his sword tightening.

The Snake Demon pauses at the edge of the clearing made by Liu Qingge's earlier fight, staying in the shadows, and tilts his awkward head to peer up at him. The demon is still wearing the clothes Shen Qingqiu put on him, his hair still in the braid Shen Qingqiu had arranged. The clothing is dirty now and the braid is ragged, but the thing still looks much better than the first time Liu Qingge had seen him.

"Just because Shen Qingqiu told me to let you go once, doesn't mean I might do it again," Liu Qingge says and draws his sword just enough to show the shine of its blade. "What are you doing here?"

The Snake Demon looks around, hesitating, and then he seems to clear his throat. The demon doesn't speak, though, he clearly can't, and instead in front of Liu Qingge's disbelieving eyes, he throws up something on the ground, something far too clean and far too straight to have come out of the demon's actual guts. Spatial storage in the demon's throat, perhaps?

The Snake Demon backs away, looking at him, then at the thing on the ground, and then at him again, clearly expectant.

Scoffing, Liu Qingge thrusts his sword fully back in its sheath and then picks up the thing from the ground. It's a slat of wood, about arm's length, roughly hewn straight enough for someone to carve symbols into it. The writing is very fine, even refined - but the carving itself is rough, like it had been done without proper tools.

It's an offer of a trade.

For a piece of the Heavenly Demon Tianlang-Jun's body, this one requests a favour in the form of retrieving a seed of a mystic flower that grows in Bai Lu Forest. Should this trade be acceptable, follow this one to the place of the flower, and upon delivery of the seed, the trade will be completed.

Liu Qingge eyes the slat for a moment and then looks at the Snake Demon. "You - have access to Tianlang-jun's body?"

The snake nods, slowly, watching him unblinking.

"What is the seed for?" Liu Qingge asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

The Snake Demon doesn't answer that, just watches him.

Scoffing, Liu Qingge looks at the wood slat again, reading it through again. It's simple enough, but deals with demons, even trades with demons… tch.

True enough, his and Yue Qingyuan's quest to find a way into the Endless Abyss isn't exactly bearing fruit so far. What few sightings there have been of the Endless Abyss rifts have been brief and too far away to make use of - due to the chaotic nature of the portals, they tend to collapse within minutes. Right now Liu Qingge's best hope was simply running into a portal by accident in the wild, or finding some hidden, incredible individual who could make such portals - both of which were unlikely to the extreme.

But if he had an artefact that could point him the way towards Luo Binghe… then whenever such a rift did appear, the artefact would guide him to it. It wouldn't be an immediate solution, but it would turn his aimless search into a guided one, and if he got lucky enough to be near enough to a portal…

But is it worth it to give a random demon what it wanted? Even a demon Shen Qingqiu knows, and thinks of highly enough to treat with respect.

"This seed you want," Liu Qingge says, eyeing the Snake Demon. "Can it be used to harm Shen Qingqiu?"

The Snake Demon shakes his head.

"Will giving it to you in any way lead to harming Shen Qingqiu?"

The Snake Demon hesitates just a little and then shakes his head again, though slower this time. The fact that it took thinking is both worrying - and telling.

Liu Qingge eyes the demon for a moment and then puts the wooden slat into a qiankun pouch. "If you're lying to me, I will kill you," he says plainly. Then he turns back to the fallen gingko tree, to finish packing it up into three separate pouches before picking up the wrapped up corpse of the victim. "Wait here, I'll be right back."

He regrets taking the body back to the village the moment he does it, as he's swarmed by grateful, mourning villagers who insist on proving their gratefulness, rewarding him with food and drink and trinkets. Damn sentimentality - Liu Qingge is not going to bother with it in the future.

The journey to Bai Lu Forest starts slow. The Snake Demon moves at a snail's pace, barely jogging speed at best, and the demon tires quickly. It takes Liu Qingge less than half a sichen to get tired of it.

"At this rate it will take us days to get there," he mutters, considers the evening sky and then takes out Cheng Luan. "It's dark enough. Come here."

The Snake Demon hesitates, looking a little alarmed, but doesn't back away quick enough to stop Liu Qingge from picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. The demon is smart enough to not try to wrap around him, at least, letting his long tail hang as Liu Qingge takes into the air. It makes for awkward flying, but nowhere near as much as it was last time - carrying the demon over his shoulder is much easier than carrying him in a sack had been. The snake, after a moment of awkward tension, resigns himself to his fate and simply hangs limply in Liu Qingge's hold, which makes the demon less of a wind break.

The flight is three sichens long, and completely silent, but far better than several days of crawling would've been. By the end of it, though, the Snake Demon has gone stiff, and when Liu Qingge drops him to the ground, the demon awkwardly stays in the shape he was on Liu Qingge's shoulder, making a vague noise of discomfort.

"Right, a Snake Demon," Liu Qingge mutters. "Can't regulate temperatures."

Glancing around, Liu Qingge takes a step to tear down a nearby tree for firewood, and then thinks better of it. It's getting dark, and this close to Huan Hua Palace… making a fire would be as good as sending a signal. Better not. "Tch," he says and then crouches down beside the demon, rubbing his palms to circulate his Qi and to generate heat, before throwing it over the Snake Demon like a net.

The Snake Demon shudders, wincing, and begins loosening up, his stiff tail starting to curl.

"What does Shen Qingqiu see in you?" Liu Qingge mutters. "You're pathetic."

The Snake Demon, of course, doesn't answer, but he does send Liu Qingge an uneasy look over his crooked shoulder, messy braid hanging over his face. Tsking again, Liu Qingge flicks the braid out of the way and then makes a face - there are twigs and dirt stuck in the thing.

Shen Qingqiu had seemed very pleased with himself when he'd tended to the Snake Demon's hair, taking his time to brush and braid it. Liu Qingge hadn't been sure the man hadn't lost his mind after all - at the time the Snake Demon seemed to very much agree with him too. Already all that hard work of cleaning and tending to the Snake Demon has gone to waste - the demon's is a mess, just like Liu Qingge had known he would be.

The Snake Demon loosens up and curls into himself and then relaxes, and Liu Qingge stops transferring his heated Qi into the demon. "Good to go? Then lead the way."

The Snake Demon nods, and moves to his belly, awkward hands flopping, barely of any use, as he begins making his way into the forest, Liu Qingge following close behind.

He'd scoured through the forest before, when he'd first captured the Snake Demon. It's not a particularly mystical place - there are signs of mortals everywhere, where they'd cut trees and made their camps and then abandoned them. So deep in Huan Hua Palace's territory, the place hasn't experienced much in the way of disturbances in many years, and aside from its proximity to the sealed Bai Lu Mountain, there doesn't seem to be much special in Bai Lu Forest. As far as Liu Qingge could tell, it wasn't particularly spiritually active, certainly not enough to host a mystic flower.

That doesn't mean the forest isn't guarded.

There's by Liu Qingge's reckoning at least two Huan Hua Palace disciples stationed in the forest at all times, patrolling it. There's also a sect formation in the forest, a protective ward Huan Hua Palace had added when they'd claimed the forest as part of their territory - but Liu Qingge had already bypassed it when he'd entered the forest before. The disciples are the bigger issue here.

"Can you go around them?" he asks the demon, when their path comes too close to where the disciples are camped out.

The Snake Demon hesitates and nods, and around they go, Liu Qingge keeping his senses tuned onto the disciples, just in case. But though they're senior disciples at the very least, they have nothing on a Peak Lord, as things are. Huan Hua Palace disciples, though flashy and seemingly refined, tend to lack actual experience. Sneaking past them isn't difficult.

Still, it puts him on edge to be here, within another sect's borders. Even with Yue Qingyuan's taciturn permission…

The Snake Demon leads him deep into the forest and then down, first into a deepening valley and then… into a grotto. The path leading in is narrow and clearly scarcely used - and just the sort of place one might create an ambush in.

Liu Qingge stops at the entrance and looks at the Snake Demon on the ground, the demon's eyes shining with expectation. Before Liu Qingge can even question his intentions, the demon is already slithering right in, his misshapen, elongated body moving swiftly into the narrow passage. "Damn it," Liu Qingge mutters and then coats his hand in Qi to light the way.

The way only grows narrower the further they go, narrower and darker. Though it couldn't be felt from without, within the grotto, energies flow inward, and already it's sapping the light of Liu Qingge's hand, making everything darker still. The place is like a natural funnel for energy - the drain isn't powerful enough to be felt from the outside, but it's very real, and just the sort of thing to empower something within.

The narrow passage leads into a larger chamber eventually, and there's no ambush waiting there. Just a pool of crystalline water surrounding a small isle of land in the middle, lit from above by a natural window in the ceiling of the cave. Liu Qingge is no expert of spiritual energies and how natural conditions might enhance them - that is Shen Qingqiu's forte - but he knows enough to recognize a place of power. Clearly, this place has the conditions for something to be born.

The Snake Demon looks up at him expectantly, and Liu Qingge exhales, relaxing minutely. "What you want is in the middle, right?" he asks. "And you can't go into the water. Or the light." He hadn't failed to notice that the Snake Demon seems weak to light.

The Snake Demon doesn't answer, just looks anxiously towards the plant growing in the middle of the spring.

"Fine," Liu Qingge mutters. "But you better be telling the truth about having part of Tianlang-jun's body."

Though spiritually imbued, the water doesn't feel like much anything - neither warm nor cold, heavy or light. It shimmers like dew on blades of grass, glittering as Liu Qingge moves through it, and he can feel the tingling effect of the energy it contains, but nothing else. It's not powerful enough to even be called spiritual water - no point collecting it for sampling, then.

The plants on the little isle in the middle of the lake are also spiritually enhanced, but only mildly so. Even the one the Snake Demon is after doesn't look particularly special, only slightly bigger than the rest, but other than that it doesn't look that different from many other spiritual herbs. The only reason Liu Qingge even knows it's the one the Snake Demon wants is because it's the only one currently bearing seed - little white beans, not particularly impressive looking.

Shaking his head, Liu Qingge grabs a handful, and at the Snake Demon's excited flopping figures that's enough. "Now," he says, gripping the beans in his fist, not letting them go just yet. "Our trade."

The Snake Demon hesitates, looking longingly at his fist, and then he backs away. Again there's a noise like he's clearing his throat - this time accompanied by a very visible bulge, travelling up said throat. It lands at Liu Qingge's feet with a meaty smack.

A hand. A very fleshy hand, with half of a forearm to go along with it, and skin that looks still supple and not even dried, with long dark nails - and a impressive golden ring, adorning one of the fingers. It doesn't look like it came from a corpse - it looks like whoever had lost it had only done so a few hours ago. It's brimming with energy too, powerful demonic aura just exuding from it - and not just like a powerful artefact or part of a great beast might.

Liu Qingge turns to the Snake Demon. "Tianlang-jun is still alive?" he demands.

The Snake Demon doesn't answer, his eyes nailed to Liu Qingge's hand instead - the one holding the mystic seeds the thing so wants. Liu Qingge tightens his grip on them for a moment, tempted to keep hold on them in order to get answers. If Tianlang-jun, a full-blooded Heavenly Demon, is still alive - alive and stuck under Bai Lu Mountain, then…

Isn't he much easier to get than Luo Binghe in the Endless Abyss?

Or is he? Yue Qingyuan had implied that tampering with the seals holding Tianlang-Jun might be considered a highly disruptive act, something that might imbalance the peace between the Great Sects. That's why he couldn't condone Liu Qingge's investigation - and why, if Liu Qingge was caught, he would have to denounce Liu Qingge's actions. Because tampering with the sealed and subjugated Demon King of the Southern Realm might be considered an act of war.

Which is easier, going against the wishes of his Sect Leader and risking war - or using Tianlang-Jun's arm to make a talisman to find another Heavenly Demon instead…? Certainly he knows which Shen Qingqiu would prefer. Neither.

"Tch," Liu Qingge scoffs and releases his fist, letting the seeds fall. The Snake Demon gobbles them up as they fall, eagerly hiding them in his gullet, and with a grimace Liu Qingge picks up the arm from the ground. It's heavier than it looks, and still soft to the touch. "How the hell did you get an arm from a living Heavenly Demon?" Liu Qingge asks, eying the snake as he swallows the last of the seeds up.

The Snake Demon casts him a look, and then freezes, forked tongue flicking in the air, tasting it.

Liu Qingge hears it a moment later - voices coming from the passageway. "… must be coming from this way! Hurry!"

The Huan Hua Palace disciples - they must've felt the demonic aura coming from the damn arm!

"Damn, they move fast," Liu Qingge mutters. Quickly seals the arm in a cooled qiankun pouch, replacing a vial of blood taken from the demonic hound already stored in it. Then, with the arm's aura thus stifled, he turns to the alarmed Snake Demon. "Play dead," he orders, and opens the bottle.

Liu Qingge is in the process of securing his "kill" when the disciples rush into the cave, swords at the ready and talismans at their fingers. "What - Peak Lord Liu?"

"The War God of Bai Zhan Peak?"

Liu Qingge looks up from his task of binding the Snake Demon's coils, scowling. Of the two disciples, he only knows one, and even him only because he'd made something of himself during the Immortal Alliance Conference. Gongyi Xiao's handsome face goes pale at the sight of the apparent carnage Liu Qingge has made of the Snake Demon, who's now lying there with his belly to the ceiling, by all appearances dead.

"Master Liu - what -?" Gongyi Xiao asks confusedly and then quickly sketches a bow. "Huan Hua Palace's senior disciple greets Master Liu."

"Hn," Liu Qingge answers and stands up. "I followed this demon here," he says. "I didn't intend to involve Huan Hua Palace in the matter."

"This humble one apologises to Master Liu, we weren't even aware of your presence," Gongyi Xiao says, shaking his head. "Normally when other cultivators enter the area, the Huan Hua Palace's security formations alert them. How is it you got here without tripping the formation?"

"Formation?" Liu Qingge says and harrumphs. "It must have a gap, then."

Gongyi Xiao looks a little taken aback. "Well, I suppose the formation is fairly new," he says dubiously. "Might this one inquire which way Master Liu came from - if there is a gap in the barrier, we must address it."

Liu Qingge makes a vague gesture to a even more vague direction. "I didn't pay attention, it was somewhere that way," he says, and with that he turns back to his kill and finishes wrapping up the Snake Demon for apparent transport, hauling the whole bloody mess over his shoulder. "In either case, my business here is done. I only came because of the demon, and now I'm leaving."

"Master Liu -" Gongyi Xiao hesitates, casting a look at the other disciple - his junior, clearly, it must be a training mission. "Was the battle very difficult for Master Liu to have such issues?"

"What issues? The damn thing was just slippery," Liu Qingge scoffs. "It's done now, and that's that. Does Huan Hua Palace have a problem with it?"

"You - did enter our territory."

"Since when is this random forest Huan Hua Palace Territory?" Liu Qingge asks with a frown. "Do you have any operations here, then? Any fortifications? I certainly haven't noticed any."

"Ah, that is…" Gongyi Xiao hesitates.

Liu Qingge might not be one for excessive reading, but ever since learning about Tianlang-Jun, he'd looked into it. The only reason Huan Hua Palace had claimed the forest is because of its proximity to Bai Lu Mountain, and even Bai Lu Mountain wasn't their territory until Tianlang-jun's subjugation. It was supposed to be a neutral territory, and it had been - until the subjugation. Since then, Huan Hua Palace had begun flexing its borders slowly but steadily, until it enveloped both the mountain and the forest - and as far as Liu Qingge knows, no treaties had been written, no official borders had been drawn. It's just that no one had contested the Huan Hua Palace's claim.

If Liu Qingge now started making noise about that claim, it might be brought into question, and though Liu Qingge doubts anyone would care that Huan Hua Palace had subsumed the area into their territory, it would still be an awkward thing to bring up. As it is, sect territories aren't exactly drawn on the map - they had spheres of influence, they weren't supposed to take part in land ownership beyond their sect halls and offices. So, things always tend to get messy when these things come up.

Liu Qingge should know - he tends to test sect borders more than most during his solo hunts.

"Master Liu is only after the demon, then?" Gongyi Xiao says after a moment, clearly conscious of these exact issues.

"What else is there?" Liu Qingge says and gives him a look. "Do you want part of the kill?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

"No, no, of course not. Master Liu's kill and claim to it is clearly justified," Gongyi Xiao says and seems to make a decision. "Would Master Liu like for these ones to accompany him to the edge of the formation?"

"Tch." If he demanded to go alone it would look suspicious and they would undoubtedly become aware of him slipping in and out of their formations. "Fine. Lead the way," he says, and hopes the Snake Demon knows to stay still and silent in the meanwhile.

Gongyi Xiao leads him and the junior disciple through the passage and out of the grotto. It's almost pitch black outside, and the moon is barely visible through the forest canopy. While Gongyi Xiao lights their way with a lantern talisman, the younger disciple gives Liu Qingge a curious, excited look. "Master Liu, what was the battle like?" he asks eagerly and tries to get a look at the Snake Demon. "Was the demon very fierce?"

"Not as such - just slippery," Liu Qingge says dismissively. "Though it had a ferocious bite, its bonelessness is what made the fight take such a long time." That was true enough - when they'd first fought, when Liu Qingge had captured the demon, it had been very good at avoiding his blows.

"The demon bit you?!" the young disciple asks, more excited than alarmed.

"It tried to," Liu Qingge scoffs. "It didn't succeed."

The junior hums in understanding and then asks. "What kind of demon even is it? Is it very valuable, that Master Liu is taking it back? What will Master Liu use it for?"

"Demon parts," Liu Qingge says and gives the youth an annoyed look. "What else?"

Gongyi Xiao shushes his junior then, offering Liu Qingge an apologetic smile. "This way, Master Liu," he says, and motions to the forest. "The closest edge of the formation is this way.

It seems to take an annoyingly long time for the Huan Hua Palace disciples to escort him, first to their camp and then to the edge of their security formations. The whole way the young disciple casts looks at Liu Qingge and the Snake Demon, making mordbidly fascinated faces at the blood now seeping into the back of Liu Qingge's robes. It's clear that he's never gone onto a proper night hunt himself, considering how clearly new he is to the mess of it all. Already fifteen, and not a single proper night hunt under his belt.

Honestly, Huan Hua Palace really is too soft on their disciples. Guess that's what happens when you recruit so many of them - you don't have time to train any of them properly. Gongyi Xiao seems to be an exception to the rule, but then, he seems like the sort of cultivator to engage in vigorous self-training - he is highly skilled in spite of Huan Hua Palace, not because of it.

Finally, the formation border looms ahead, and Gongyi Xiao deals with it to let Liu Qingge out without disturbing the security seals. "There," he says. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Master Liu. These humble disciples wish you luck on your hunts," he says with a bow.

 "This one hopes he will one day get the chance to see the War God hunting in person!" the younger disciple pipes up, also bowing. "It must've been a sight to behold!"

"Hm," Liu Qingge answers and casts them a look. "Train hard, and you don't have to wait - you can engage in impressive battles of your own."

The young disciple's eyes shine. "This disciple will!"

Shaking his head, Liu Qingge takes out his sword and makes his exit before anything more can be said.

It's a short flight, though, only far enough away to not be spotted. Then Liu Qingge lands again in a little copse of trees near the base of Bai Lu Mountain, and lets the Snake Demon down again. Releasing the ropes from around him, Liu Qingge gives the demon a pulse of warm Qi to warm him back up, since he's gone all stiff and chill again. 

The Snake Demon gives him a wide-eyed look.

"What?" Liu Qingge scoffs. "Should've I let them catch you, and kill you?

The Snake Demon shakes himself and turns to lie on his belly again, propping himself up as much as he can.

Liu Qingge folds his arms, ignoring the feeling of blood drying all over his back and shoulder. "You got your trade," he says. "And you get to keep your life, again. Be grateful."

The Snake Demon nods, still staring up at him, eyes bright and intelligent.

"Tch," Liu Qingge mutters, stepping back a little. "Whatever. Those seeds better not come back to bite me in the ass," he says and checks the qiankun pouch with Tianlang-Jun's arm in it. It's still secure, the seals holding well enough. Touching it, he can feel the demonic energy spewing from the arm, but the pouch would hold it… for now.

"We're done here," Liu Qingge says and casts a glance at the demon, messy with demon hound blood. Shen Qingqiu would be horrified and give the thing another bath - but he's not Shen Qingqiu. "Get out of here before I change my mind about you."

The Snake Demon doesn't need to be told twice - but he does cast a look at him over his shoulder before he goes. Liu Qingge scowls back, until the demon is gone.

Demons. Who knows what's going on in their heads.

Whatever. He has an arm to get back to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. How he's going to get Ran Qingnan to work it into an artefact without it becoming an awkward political issue, though… Well, it's not like he has to tell anyone where he got the arm from. And it's not like he got it from Tianlang-jun himself, is it? He got it from a Snake Demon, and he has no idea how the Snake Demon got it in the first place.

It'd be fine. Probably.

Shen Qingqiu is still in seclusion when Liu Qingge makes it back to the mountain, which he's somewhat relieved to find. The man said it would take at least a month, but with Shen Qingqiu it's hard to tell these days. The man might just get into his head that he didn't need to solve the issues left behind by his Qi-deviation and he might just as well walk it off. As though Qi-deviation is something you can walk off.

"Well I'm glad Liu-shidi knows to take such things seriously," Yue Qingyuan says with a mild smile. "But no, Shen-shidi hasn't left his house since your departure. As far as I know, he is meditating diligently."

"As far as you know? You haven't checked?" Liu asks with some disbelief.

"I trust in Mu-shidi's judgement of the situation," the Sect Leader explains.

Liu Qingge gives him a look, narrowing his eyes slightly. That's a particular tone he hasn't heard in a while from the sect leader - not since he and Shen Qingqiu started getting along better. "Is he mad at you?" he asks wryly.

Yue Qingyuan blinks and then offers him a rueful smile, shaking his head. "We had to disturb his meditation once, concerning a matter brought up in an Immortal Council meeting. He wasn't thrilled that there was even a question about his opinion on the matter," he admits and explains. 

Liu Qingge arches an incredulous brow. Aside from the occasional joint missions and of course the Immortal Alliance Conference, he generally doesn't care about the meetings between the Immortal Alliance - that is Yue Qingyuan's job, and as far as Liu Qingge is concerned, he could keep it. But for them to put a matter of retaliation to a vote…

And here he thought their purpose in life was to keep things as peaceful and boring as possible. 

"We had a vote on the matter, between us Peak Lords, while you were absent," Yue Qingyuan concludes. "Majority was against taking any drastic actions. Though Shen Qingqiu's vote wasn't counted among the ones cast, he was against it as well."

Well, of course he was.

"But the Great Sects want to start something up north?" Liu Qingge asks dubiously. "Isn't that just playing into the demons' hands, giving them exactly what they want?" Demons thrive on battle against worthy opponents, and if they could do some raiding and pillaging at the same time… And glory in a battle, in war, against human cultivators is just the sort of thing that makes demon lords grow powerful and influential quickly.

"Perhaps. Still, one can't deny that the sects have been provoked more than usual of late," Yue Qingyuan sighs. "And some kind of retaliation might be warranted, to discourage further disturbances such as the Immortal Alliance Conference. What are Liu-shidi's thoughts on the matter?"

Liu Qingge thinks about it. Were it just a few years back, his answer would be very simple. Nowadays it's a little less so. With Shen Qingqiu's health relying on demon essence, with the deal he himself just made with a demon… "While I can get behind the idea of nipping the problem in the bud with the Ice Demon Lord, I think anyone promoting war in peacetime has something personal at stake," he scoffs. "And as a whole, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect has more to lose than gain from war."

Yue Qingyuan looks surprised. "I would've thought Liu-shidi would be in favour of war."

"If it was just Bai Zhan Peak, I wouldn't mind it," Liu Qingge admits. It would be a chance to win acclaim and test their mettle, never mind win untold trophies. For Bai Zhan Peak it would be great - for the rest of the sect… "If these last few years and the War Games have taught me anything, it's that this sect isn't prepared for the real thing. Most of our disciples are still young and untested - we're in a good situation because of our location and numbers, but under concentrated demonic assault…"

If push came to shove, they wouldn't be helpless, and part of that is thanks to the War Games, they gave their disciples some practice. Games weren't real world, however, and during the War Games Liu Qingge had come to know some of the weaknesses and flaws in Cang Qiong Mountain's defences. Relying as they do on their location to defend them, the mountain acting as a natural barrier, their sect had little in the way of wards. There were some, but nothing like a sect on flat ground might feel warranted. For Cang Qiong Mountain Sect they just weren't necessary - even cultivators had a hard time traversing the mountain due to the high winds.

And Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, launching an attack against the demon realm? Maybe, if it was just Bai Zhan Peak. The rest aren't anywhere near aggressive enough to pull it off. Trying to imagine Shen Qingqiu' scholarly disciples doing something so violent makes Liu Qingge want to wince for their sakes.

Yue Qingyuan hums. "We've been in good a position where the Demon Realm is concerned these last couple of decades, with the South distracted and the North quiet," he muses. "But it's clear things are changing. First the attack on Qiong Ding Peak, then the Conference attack… I have also been looking into past incidents with demons, and in the last five years they've been steadily increasing in numbers. It can't be denied that demons are pushing further and further into the human realm."

"Restlessness in the South, because they lack a leader, and power struggle in the North, because of the death of the northern king," Liu Qingge concludes.

"So it seems," Yue Qingyuan agrees with a sigh and gives him a curious look. "So your vote would be against war?"

"Hasn't it already come to vote?"

"It did, and we voted against it," Yue Qingyuan agrees. "But the Great Sects are stirred, and the Alliance was split in votes. It will come up again, soon."

Liu Qingge hums. Sounds like whichever way it would go, there would be consequences. "It would be a way to look for a way into the Endless Abyss. War always causes more rifts to form."

"The thought crossed my mind also," Yue Qingyuan admits ruefully and shakes his head. "How did Liu-shidi's hunt go?" he asks instead pursuing that line of thought. "You're back early."

"Do you want to know, or do you want plausible deniability in case someone else comes asking?" Liu Qingge asks wryly.

Yue Qingyuan's eyes sharpen. "You got something."

Liu Qingge nods. "I did. More than. But it will definitely get the other sects on your neck, if it gets out."

Yue Qingyuan hesitates and then nods. "Show me anyway."

"Set up a ward, then - the thing packs one hell of a demonic aura."

The Sect Leader's take on Tianlang-jun's arm and its apparently impeccable preservation is much like Liu Qingge's own. The knowledge that Tianlang-jun is clearly still alive under the Bai Lu Mountain is startling, but nothing they can actually do anything with. The Heavenly Demon is still sealed, and going after him might provoke the other Great Sects - and Cang Qiong Mountain Sect definitely isn't ready to go to war with all the other Great Sects either.

Still, the knowledge that there is another Heavenly Demon out there is a certain kind of reassurance.

"And if Tianlang-jun can survive almost two decades of being sealed under a mountain this well," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, examining the arm. "Perhaps Luo Binghe's chances in the Endless Abyss really are better than we thought."

"Hmph, didn't even think of it that way," Liu Qingge mutters. "Here's hoping you're right."

"And you're sure the mountain wasn't disturbed?"

"I wouldn't know one way or the other - I didn't even go near it. Going by how the Huan Hua Palace disciples acted, they felt nothing."

Yue Qingyuan hums and nods, resealing the severed hand back in the cooled qiankun pouch. "I'll write a letter to Ran Qingnan, to explain the importance and utmost confidentiality of the matter."

Liu Qingge nods. "And Shen Qingqiu?"

Yue Qingyuan hesitates and then smiles wryly. "As you're the one who retrieved the artefact, I'll leave it to your judgement."

Liu Qingge scoffs, amused. So, Yue Qingyuan and he are in agreement as far as that goes, huh.

Shen Qingqiu's reaction is bound to be interesting, isn't it?

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu sits quietly, one pale wrist held out as Mu Qingfang examines his Qi. It's quiet in the Bamboo House now, almost stiflingly so, with the seals cutting off all the sounds of the world outside. Is it windy outside, is it raining, are there people talking outside…? Shen Qingqiu doesn't know. It's as though the world outside doesn't even exist and he's floating in space, the Bamboo House a spaceship in the middle of nowhere.

Mu Qingfang hums. "Shen-shixiong seems to have made great strides. Might this Shidi trouble him to circulate his Qi?"

Shen Qingqiu opens his eyes and then nods. There's still a spark of embarrassment that tries to kindle itself into a flame as he loosely clasps his hand over his lower abdomen, over his lower dantian, and begins preparing the cauldron. His Qi is still a stuttering trickle, but that's what's needed to prepare, to strengthen the strained dantian - to bit by bit make it stronger. Coating it with a protective layer of oil so nothing unwanted will stick - lubricating it so that it doesn't break.

It's almost ridiculous how well the metaphor fits.

Once the cauldron is ready, he pours his energy into it, just a little of it, swirling his Qi in and out, agitating it until it feels smooth, and then stirring it gently in a comfortable, even pleasing flow.

Mu Qingfang makes a noise that's part surprise, intrigue - and dismay. "Shen-shixiong, this is -"

"I know - highly unorthodox and extremely risky on my part," Shen Qingqiu sighs. Currently one would just have to stick a dick in him once, and that'd be it, his cauldron plundered just like that. "What is the state of my spiritual veins?"

"They are - hm…?" Mu Qingfang puts a hand on his chest, examining his Qi in two points. "Shen-shixiong, your Qi - you're somehow changing its nature? It feels almost juvenile."

"I am denaturing it," Shen Qingqiu says, closing his eyes. "The technique is still incomplete, but by using this method I can strip my Qi of its characteristics, almost even its element. Can you tell this Shixiong the effect it's having on his meridians?"

"It… it's far too early to tell, but it does seem to have some positive effect," Mu Qingfang hums, with a tone full of mixed feelings.

Shen Qingqiu can't blame him. The technique is a mixture of the worst sort of dual cultivation theories, complete nonsense he's making up as he goes, and what he's gotten from the System. Right now, Shen Qingqiu is essentially working as his own human cauldron, and what he's doing is basically making healing Qi porridge for his own broken spiritual veins. He circulates his Qi through his cauldron and boils it, leaving it in a base, neutral state - one could even call it a natural state. Uncultivated, shapeless Qi. A child's raw Qi, basically, but with an adult's strength and power.

It's doing him good, he thinks. The denatured Qi is more… supple and gentle, and it doesn't strain his veins as much. It's even healing some of the damage, soothing the strained, frayed edges. A child's Qi naturally would have greater healing power, in its fragile, flexible, still growing state - and though Shen Qingqiu isn't getting the full extent of the effect with this faked form, it's still helping. A few years of cultivating with this method, and he really might be able to heal all the damage done to his spiritual veins.

Which has all the unpleasant implications about human cauldrons, doesn't it?

Mu Qingfang lets go of his hand, and Shen Qingqiu looks up. The doctor is eyeing him with great concern.

"This isn't the full extent of the method I am developing, not even close," Shen Qingqiu says, which is probably not very reassuring. "I know it leaves me extremely vulnerable. But eventually, it will strengthen, ah… it will strengthen the foundation." It would strengthen the cauldron as it was seasoned by the practice, but there are some things even now Shen Qingqiu can't quite say aloud.

"This is an extremely risky technique you are pursuing, Shen-shixiong," Mu Qingfang says cautiously. "But I can't deny that it likely has a beneficial effect on your spiritual veins. I fear at this point it might even be the only thing that might repair the damage. But, Shen-shixiong, you realise the side effects, don't you?"

"Mn," Shen Qingqiu agrees, nodding.

"While you're - like this," he motions towards Shen Qingqiu's lower dantian, "you cannot under any circumstances have intercourse. Not even with a mortal woman, never mind a male cultivator. It will, without doubt, drain your Qi. Your chances of survival are - minimal."

Shen Qingqiu gives him a look and forces himself not to blush. "This Shixiong knows. It won't be a problem."

Mu Qingfang looks at him worriedly.

"I assure you, Mu-shidi, I can abstain," Shen Qingqiu scoffs and finishes his Qi circulation, seasoning the cauldron with the last dregs of Qi at the bottom and then letting the denatured Qi settle into his veins. With a cleared throat, he sits up straighter. "Now, what's the state of the talks - have the Great Sects decided to proceed with their idiocy yet?"

"They have voted to increase patrols on the borders," Mu Qingfang says and takes out a summary from Yue Qingyuan, explaining the results of the latest Immortal Alliance meeting.

Though they hadn't yet come to a decision concerning full on war with the Northern Demon Realm, they decided that further watch over the North was required. All four Great Sects had agreed to increase their presence in the borderlands, even potentially setting up guard stations and watch towers. Supposedly it would be a deterrent. The idea was that if there were any incidents, there should be cultivators nearby to deal with it - and so, there should be less incidents.

There would be more, though. It would bring demons and cultivators more often in contact with each other, which would lead to more chances of misunderstandings, and from there to more incidents. Never mind that human cultivators would be like a beacon calling for all demons eager to prove themselves. It wouldn't take long before there would be an incident, and after that…

The Old Palace Master would have his way - and his war.

Clicking his tongue with disgust, Shen Qingqiu drops the paper on the table between them. "And these patrols are supposed to begin immediately, I suppose?"

"As I understand, Tian Yi Overlook has already begun sending cultivators north," Mu Qingfang agrees. "Though there isn't a set deadline, the understanding I got was that it should be done at the earliest convenience. Bai Zhan Peak has volunteered to handle it."

"Well, that's a disaster waiting to happen," Shen Qingqiu mutters. Liu Qingge was more likely to start a war then help prevent it. "So much for continuing my seclusion."

"Shen-shixiong was thinking of extending it? This Shidi can only recommend it - in house seclusion has done you well."

Shen Qingqiu hums. "Yes, but I can't in good conscience continue staying apart if the situation is escalating."

"And in good conscience I can't recommend you to take on any undue stress right now. You're on a path to recovery, but it's clearly a precarious path," Mu Qingfang says and looks him over. "Shen-shixiong might suffer a setback."

Shen Qingqiu hums, grudgingly, in agreement. He does need more time to master the new style of Qi-circulation and to develop the method to the point where he has some damn defences - but can he afford it? If the sects are led into a war…

And yet, wouldn't he be a burden, a weak point, if things did get worse and he was forced to act without mastering and securing his method properly first? Wouldn't he be just a damn damsel in distress, ready to be snatched? The Moonlit Lotus, the Boundless Human Cauldron - wouldn't he be a prize to be won?

Shen Qingqiu scowls and looks away.

"As things are, we're all in agreement - Cang Qiong Mountain Sect will do everything in its power to avoid war," Mu Qingfang says and smiles. "I think Shen-shixiong can trust his sect siblings to avoid total disaster."

Trust, hm?

"This Shixiong wants to see his Sect Leader. And Liu-shidi," Shen Qingqiu decides. "Can you deliver them this one's invitation, Mu-shidi? I will decide on further seclusion depending on what I hear."

Considering the points they'd been accruing out there, he has some concerns about what they'd be getting up to.

[Side quest, "The Unorthodox Method", 54% complete! Spiritual Vein Degradation 66%! Cauldron capacity: 1 month. Please continue your efforts!]

Rubbing at his lower abdomen, Shen Qingqiu sighs. A month. A month of work, and he has the capacity to contain a month's worth of Qi. He… has no idea if that's good or not. Or whether he should rejoice or despair that the System has decided to start measuring Qi capacity all of a sudden. That it took him forging his cauldron to get there… ah.

Following his epiphany, Shen Qingqiu had gotten the awkward work done. Of course, it had taken a few days of embarrassment, panicking and denial to get there, but some things couldn't be denied forever, and when it's yourself doing the talking… eventually you listen. So, after circling through all the many ways this could go humiliatingly wrong, he'd taken himself by the neck, taking all the scattered bits of his unorthodox method and working them into what's very clearly the early edition of a cultivation manual. With the System leading him on and awarding points when he got things right, he nailed down the early steps of his new method.

Like figuring out how to be a cauldron in the first place.

Thankfully, he was already halfway there, with his double-layered lower dantian. That, it turns out, was the first step of his new method. Layered lower dantian was essential - the second layer is what became the cauldron. Granted, it took System intervention and a sort of artificial Breakthrough to get there, but at that point Shen Qingqiu was leaking Qi and so far past the point of no return that he didn't really have the wherewithal to argue. He'd just bought the [Single Use Internal Forge] for 2000 B-points, activated it and immediately boosted his [the Unorthodox Method] percentage forward by 10%. The secondary layer of his lower dantian was thus reforged, and Shen Qingqiu became, officially, a human cauldron.

If he then proceeded to have a long and thorough panic attack over this very permanent change he'd made to his meridian system, well, no one was to know. What's important is that it worked. It even repaired some of this meridian degradation before introducing him to Human Cauldron Alchemy, Level one - Qi-porridge. And that… that worked even better.

It's not exactly that Shen Qingqiu disliked cultivation before. He'd actually rather enjoyed it, in that brief time before Without a Cure had turned it into exercise in futility. Cultivation in Lingxi caves was pleasant and peaceful and felt really rather incredible... in that first go around, in his first save. This second save he hadn't even bothered. Now, with Shen Jiu's memory and experience, he knows what difficult cultivation really is like, the efforts and pains it used to take him. And this…

Well, this isn't that.

Swirling Qi in your own cauldron is pleasant in a way Shen Qingqiu hadn't been expecting at all. It's nice. It's like having drunk a cup of warm wine on a snowy day, hot bowl of congee after a day of hard work and hunger - a sensation of warmth inside, curling and building and just… it's lovely.  

It's very easy to see how, with Dual Cultivation thrown in, it could become very pleasurable. Not that he'd gotten that far yet.

The Salutation of the Full Moon works almost too well with the whole thing, too. Liu Qingge really came up with a great set of moves, all intended to activate the exact regions Shen Qingqiu needs to activate, without neglecting any of the other parts of him. Part of him is almost peeved with how well it all works out - just pieces slotting into their places in this extremely convoluted puzzle he hadn't fully even realised he was working on. Just click-click, and it worked. Tch.

Shen Jiu would've been spitting mad. After all the effort, all the work, years and years of trial and error, mostly error, and now… now cultivation just works for him. Though, of course, it is the most humiliating sort of cultivation imaginable, that's just par for the course for Shen Qingqiu, he can't hang onto his dignity to save his life, it seems. The only way it could've been worse if it was also demonic cultivation on top of everything. But that doesn't diminish the fact that it… it really works.

Begrudgingly, Shen Qingqiu could admit to himself - he hasn't enjoyed cultivation like this in years. Never mind the fact that with Shen Jiu's understanding he now realises the true extent of the task he's unknowingly committed himself to. The development of a whole new cultivation method! The last time a new cultivation method had been developed must've been centuries ago. He has a reason to be proud, never mind the awkward nature of his methods. It's still an incredible accomplishment.

Shen Qingqiu, proud of his own cultivation, which he was creating with his own two hands. Who would've thought. Even with Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan offering him their bumbling aid and all the cheating he does with the System… this is his work. His method.

It would also be his stupid, glaring weakness, should anything happen to interrupt him now. Like a war.

"I promise it won't, Shen-shidi, we're doing our best to prevent escalation," Yue Qingyuan says, sitting down across from him and smoothing down the layers of his robes. "Things are a little tense right now, but no binding decisions have been made, yet."

"I heard there would be an increased presence at the borders now," Shen Qingqiu comments, serving him tea. "You don't think that will naturally escalate things?"

"It likely will, but hopefully not enough to lead us to war," Yue Qingyuan says, accepting the cup with a nod, watching him closely. "Still, I will be instructing all those who will be present in the area to take care, and to be diplomatic."

"And how likely is that, with Bai Zhan Peak taking the lead?" Shen Qingqiu asks dubiously.

Yue Qingyuan gives him a look. "Liu Qingge isn't quite as rash as he used to be, Shidi. He will take care."

Shen Qingqiu hesitates at the subtle admonishment there and wonders idly if Yue Qingyuan is still mad at him. Considering the frankly incredible lengths the man could go for guilt, it wouldn't be surprising if he held onto his grudges equally well. "Hm," Shen Qingqiu hums, warming his hands around his own tea cup. "Perhaps. One cannot call him diplomatic, however."

"There are sadly limits to what diplomacy can accomplish," Yue Qingyuan sighs and sips his tea. "Huan Hua Palace and Tian Yi Overlook are both intent on conflict. And obviously the demons of the north are equally eager for a fight. There might be nothing we can do to stop it."

"Can we stay apart from it, if they do choose war?" Shen Qingqiu asks, narrowing his eyes.

"We have an alliance, Shen-shidi. Some aid is… demanded," Yue Qingyuan admits ruefully. "But as far as we can take our neutrality in this matter, I will. The Peak Lords have voted against the war, and so we will do what we can to prevent it."

Shen Qingqiu hums, turning the tea cup in his hand, wondering if he should share his epiphany concerning the likely lapses during the Immortal Alliance Conference, or if it would muddle the waters further. If the Immortal Alliance is split and factions are forming, any rumour against Huan Hua Palace, no matter how truthful, might be taken as propaganda - and despite his feelings about Huan Hua Palace and the Old Palace Master, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect can't afford to make an outright enemy out of them. As it is, all he has is speculation, no proof.

"How… how has your seclusion gone?" Yue Qingyuan asks after a moment of tense silence. "How is your cultivation coming along, Shen-shidi?"

"I have taken a significant leap forward," Shen Qingqiu admits, and takes a sip of the tea. "But because of it, I will also be significantly more vulnerable until I manage the next step."

"How so? If you don't… mind explaining…?" Yue Qingyuan asks and then lifts a hand. "May I…?"

Shen Qingqiu looks up and hesitates, eyeing the man's palm. Yue Qingyuan wants to feel his meridians. It makes sense, of course, and Shen Qingqiu more than owes him for pushing him on the matter of Yue Qingyuan's own cultivation. It's only fair. And yet… Shen Qingqiu might not be circulating Qi currently, but his new form of cultivation - along with the Salutation of the Full Moon - are part of his daily routine now. After these weeks, they have already left their impacts on his meridian system and his body. Never mind the state of his lower dantian. Yue Qingyuan would be able to feel it - and he would know what it meant.

The Sect Leader's hand wavers, the hopeful look on his face dimming, and with slightly slumped shoulders he goes to take his hand back - and with a scoff, Shen Qingqiu grabs it and, looking away, circulates his Qi to show him.

Yue Qingyuan gasps, his fingers twitching, and biting his cheek Shen Qingqiu resolutely keeps himself from flushing bright red.

"Shen-shidi…" Yue Qingyuan breathes.

"I need more time in seclusion," Shen Qingqiu says, not meeting his eye. "To - to strengthen the new formation, and begin building up to the next stage," whatever that would be. "I will also need to start working on my breakthroughs, I can't risk them triggering by accident. I need… months, most likely."

"I see," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, his thumb gently brushing over Shen Qingqiu's knuckles, and his palm sparks with warmth as he tentatively offers his energy. "Of course, you should take as long as you need."

Awkward, Shen Qingqiu pulls his hand away, clearing his throat. "I don't feel particularly confident about going into full seclusion with a damn war brewing up in the background," he admits and grabs his tea cup to hopefully hide the shaking of his hands. "I should be out there, working - we need more information, my network, I should be getting into contact with them to -"

"Anything you wish to send them, I can deliver for you," Yue Qingyuan offers and clears his throat. "With any luck, things won't escalate from here in quite a while. You can take time for yourself - in fact, I might have to insist upon it, as your Sect Leader. As long as your method remains… like this, you are vulnerable. For the sake of the sect and your own disciples, you must grow stronger."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and gives him a look. Yue Qingyuan is showing some interesting edges, now. He really must've gotten some thinking done, the last month. And some character growth and complexity. "Wording it like that won't make me worry any less," Shen Qingqiu harrumphs and rubs his palms idly together, still feeling the Sect Leader's touch. "What a rotten timing for all of this. If I'd known what was coming, I wouldn't have started this process."

Yue Qingyuan hesitates, giving him a look. "Then this…" he lifts his chin a little, his eyes narrowing with thought. "This war, this conflict - it's new to you?"

Shen Qingqiu hisses through his teeth. "Not… new, exactly," he admits and blows out a breath. "There were wars and incidents, and tensions between the realms rose and fell. That's nothing new. But… none of this happened yet. Some things are progressing faster."

"Is it because of your actions?" Yue Qingyuan asks, a little subdued now. "Because of the changes you have already made?"

Shen Qingqiu looks up at him and narrows his eyes slightly. "I assure, you, Sect Leader, I didn't intend this, nor is it by my design," he says wryly. "Even I can't control such things, nor can I see into the future. I only know a version of it, and things have already changed. It's natural that other things change too, beyond my or anyone else's control."

Sadly there's no way to explain the fact that as he'd made those minor changes he increased the collective IQ of the people around them, and that somehow affected the world itself, making everything more complicated and convoluted. This particular war didn't happen in the original - but there might've been hints, seeds, which the plot and the System are building this new narrative from. There were wars aplenty in Proud Immortal Demon Way - Luo Binghe himself started a several, just over women, territory, riches, or because he felt particularly bored. The original text didn't need more justification than things are getting slow, let's spice things up.

Logically, though, this conflict makes a sort of sense. Narratively, that is, there's plenty of foreshadowing for it. In hindsight, the plot has built up Mobei-jun into a red-herring Demon Lord rather beautifully. Sha Hualing's attack also affects things, now, adding to the world building. Maybe other demonic incidents could be involved too - and should the sowers incident happen again, well… that'd work well, wouldn't it? Famine in the demonic realm… would explain any number of drastic steps taken by the demons.

And underneath there's the Old Palace Master, one of the hidden bosses, pulling strings for his own gain, stoking the fires of  war. And underneath all that, there's Tianlang-jun and whatever he might do, if he happened to get loose. And at the base of it all, Luo Binghe, and his ascension to whatever power he might crave this time. Layers upon layers of potential conflicts, building up in the background - and should the plot speed the world along into a state of war, well… any one of those elements could be pulled up to enhance the narrative.

If this was a book, Shen Qingqiu would've been eating it up, eagerly waiting for more, maybe even congratulating Airplane for his excellent foreshadowing. Of course, if it was Airplane, he would surely muck it all up in short order, but regardless. The plot is building up fantastically towards the next act, and all without any clue as to what Luo Binghe has been up to. Surely there would be great revelations in the future! Bravo, plot, bravo.

Being part of this world, though…

"It only takes one flap of a butterfly's wing to cause a hurricane half a world away," Shen Qingqiu mutters into his tea cup and grimaces. Who knows where the storm would strike now. It could be anywhere.

"Shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asks, watching him. "If you know something about what will happen, then…?"

Shen Qingqiu hesitates and then lowers his cup. "Where's Liu-shidi?" he asks.

Yue Qingyuan sighs, looking slightly disappointed. "He has other business to attend to, but he said he would be here at the earliest convenience, tomorrow."

"Hm," Shen Qingqiu answers and looks away, thinking.

There is one thing they have going for them, with the whole war thing. If the plot was intending to blast them off into the next story arc, fast forwarding the world state to its version of a Warring States period that Luo Binghe had taken advantage of in the original text to raise in ranks to the status of the Emperor… it would've already done it. There should've been an inciting incident already. The Immortal Alliance Conference wasn't it, the Conference was the climax of Luo Binghe's opening arc, and that's it. Of that, at least, Shen Qingqiu is sure. It just doesn't make sense, book-structure-wise, to use the same incident that ended one arc to open the next one - surely you would want to add something new and exciting to advance the plot, right?

And it's clear that the plot is evolving again, adding more depth to things, building up the world. The politics of demons and human cultivators coming to a head - sure, it happened in the original too, and there were several wars of different sizes. But those were shallow conflicts at best, with only a very baseline plot going for them. Shen Yuan wrote theses on the matter of how little everyone's motivations made sense in those conflicts. Mostly they seemed to happen just because Binghe needed to be fighting someone. The lack of nuance there had rather been a letdown, really.

Well, the plot is certainly stirring up the nuance now.

This war that's building up in the background is probably something that will launch in full for Luo Binghe's next story arc - and with any luck, that is still some time away. All this planning and plotting has the flavour of foreshadowing. It's just the thing that goes into the blurb in the back, the text crawl in the front. The world has been cast into disarray, and tensions between humans and demons run high… and then the opening act is an action scene where Luo Binghe makes his dramatic entrance, saving a beautiful damsel in distress, or something.

It's not dramatic unless there's time for the story to build up tension.

And if that happened, it would be best if… if shocking revelations were minimised beforehand.

"Well, when Liu-shidi has the time to visit…" Shen Qingqiu says, scoffing. "Join us, Sect Leader. I think it's time I… tell you everything."

"Everything?" Yue Qingyuan repeats, lifting his head, his eyes widening. "Liu-shidi too? You will tell him everything?"

"Mn. Well, as much as I can," Shen Qingqiu muses with a rueful shake of his head. The idea still turns his stomach a little, and part of him wants to clutch onto his secrets desperately, but - coming face to face with himself had brought some things to a rather uncomfortable light. "You two insist on going after Luo Binghe, even now? I thought so," he shakes his head. "In that case, there are things you need to know about him, and his family."

If war broke out, Luo Binghe would without question find himself in the middle of it. If that happened and Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge would continue going after him… they needed to know what it was they might be up against.

Yue Qingyuan is quiet for a moment, watching him as Shen Qingqiu pours them more tea. "Shen-shidi," he then says. "Did Luo Binghe go into the Endless Abyss the last time too? Is that why you're confident about his survival - because he already did?"

Shen Qingqiu looks up and sighs. "Yes," he says simply.

"… Why did you allow him to enter the Immortal Alliance Conference, then?" Yue Qingyuan asks quietly, watching him. "If you had him stay on Qing Jing Peak, he would've never been in danger of discovery, or of falling into the Endless Abyss."

If only. Shen Qingqiu shakes his head and takes a drink, and says nothing. There's nothing he can say - that he had no choice, that Luo Binghe had to go, that it was all ordained by heaven or something like that would just sound like an excuse. There is no excuse that justifies it, and fuck, he's so tired of having to explain the unexplainable. Why did he send Luo Binghe into the Abyss? Because he fucking had to.

"Is it… part of your plan?" Yue Qingyuan asks, his eyes intent, searching. "Luo Binghe going into the Endless Abyss - and coming out stronger for it. It's an essential part of the changes you're making."

That's… even worse.

"Sect Leader, I'm tired," Shen Qingqiu says without a shred of subtlety and stands up. "It's late, and I still need to do my evening exercises. We can talk more about this tomorrow, when Liu-shidi is here with us."

"Ah," Yue Qingyuan says, making a face, his lips pressed together. "Very well. Tomorrow."

Shen Qingqiu grimaces to himself at that subdued tone, but stands by it. He doesn't want to have to hash it all out twice, and he really is tired - and he doesn't know how to handle a Yue Qingyuan that's suddenly pushing his buttons. He doesn't know what to do with Yue Qingyuan who's clearly annoyed by him. It's been a long time coming, but…

Shen Qingqiu thinks of Shen Jiu, frustratedly biting back the explanations and excuses whenever an exasperated Yue Qingyuan dragged him out of a brothel, and bites his own lip. One of these days he would get over himself. But clearly, not yet.

"Tomorrow," Shen Qingqiu says and turns away.

Somewhere in the middle of Shen Qingqiu's month long seclusion, Liu Mingyan had delivered his new training outfit. It came out even better than Shen Qingqiu could've expected. It's still in his style, done in hues of green with a scholarly cut, but it is also very clearly designed for dancing. It's thinner than his usual getups, only three layers at the thickest, fitted snug around his waist and torso, but with enough gauzy flowing layers to show every move of his hands and legs to advantage. The fabric is so light in places that it seems to float. It flows beautifully in Salutation of the Full Moon, without ever getting in his way. Somehow Liu Mingyan even managed to design it in a way that even in the most convoluted, provocative positions, the hems settle just so that it looks classy and enticing, rather than ridiculous.

To himself Shen Qingqiu has to admit - he's coming to enjoy the practice more than he ever thought he would. Now that he has the practice in and all the moves and their transitions memorised, the Salutation of the Full Moon just feels good - and it looks great. He feels a little like a courtly performer, performing his best art. It's helping him mentally too - the way cultivation, meditation and yoga are supposed to help you, but which Shen Qingqiu had been neglecting all these years.

… It doesn't stop parts of him from being cynically embarrassed, expecting ridicule, for someone to point out, "Look at this man, what is he trying to do, entice himself a husband, ridiculous." Any moment now Liu Qingge of the past would burst in there, point out all the shameless things about him, and make him question everything. Any moment now, Yue Qingyuan of his youth would look at him with disappointment and tell him he's damaging his cultivation. Any moment now… Luo Binghe would…

Ugh.

Both Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan were unbearably self-conscious people. Shen Qingqiu tries to move past their hang-ups, but damn, it's hard. Logically he knows there's no point to all this damned embarrassment, it's just holding him back, and why does he have to think about what anyone thinks, they'll come up with their own ideas regardless of what he does… and still, he can't stop himself from caring about how others see him. It's exhausting, really.

"You've perfected it."

Lifting his head slightly from its bent position, Shen Qingqiu straightens himself up slowly. Liu Qingge is standing by the doorway, arms folded, watching him.

"There was little to perfect. Liu-shidi's expertise in rearranging the moves was impeccable, the set was very close to perfect already," Shen Qingqiu says and stretches to work out the last of the kinks, his lower stomach vibrating, ready. "I didn't expect you this early - I need another hour to cultivate."

"Do you mind if I observe?" Liu Qingge asks. "It's been a while, I want to check out your meridians."

Shen Qingqiu hesitates and then sighs. Well… he would come to know the changes sooner or later. "Do not add any of your Qi into my system," he says. "Things are a little delicate right now - even a little bit of foreign Qi might throw everything into an imbalance."

"Hm," Liu Qingge hums, interested, and nods. "I'll be careful."

They arrange themselves on a set of meditation cushions, Liu Qingge behind him with his hands on Shen Qingqiu's back, a familiar, secure firmness he hadn't even realised he'd been missing. Breathing in and out slowly, Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes and places his hands over his lower abdomen, cradling the cauldron between them, and begins.

Liu Qingge radiates astonishment, worry, and wonder behind him during the whole thing, as Shen Qingqiu lets his Qi flow into the cauldron, stirring it, filling it as much as he can. Though the cauldron has the capacity of one month's worth of Qi, Shen Qingqiu doesn't have that much Qi to add to it - the sum he can bring to bear currently is barely a third of a full cauldron. He likely wouldn't be able to fill it fully by himself until the Without a Cure is over and dealt with.

One day, he would be able to take another's Qi and add it to the cauldron… but not yet. The cauldron isn't strong enough yet. One day, though…

Shen Qingqiu finishes his practice by digesting his own denatured Qi back into his veins and sighs, his whole body buzzing with sensation.

[Spiritual Vein Degradation has decreased by 1%! Your Spiritual Vein Degradation percentage is currently 65%! Please continue your efforts!]

Well, that's nice. It doesn't happen every time he fills the cauldron, but every now and then the degradation percentage goes down. Bit by bit… it's working.

"You did it," Liu Qingge murmurs behind him, his hands still on Shen Qingqiu's back - one of them a lot lower than it had been in the beginning, feeling at his lower dantian through his back. "You finished it."

"Not quite yet - but I've crossed the biggest hurdle," Shen Qingqiu admits and opens his eyes, breathing slowly in and out. Yue Qingyuan is there too, now, sitting by the tea table  with a steaming pot of tea in front of him, watching them, waiting for them. He hadn't even noticed the man arriving. The Bamboo House is still quiet around them, still sealed - the outside world still blocked out.

The house hasn't been so full in a month and still it feels empty. Something is still missing. Someone.

"Huh," Liu Qingge mutters, and slowly removes his hands from Shen Qingqiu's back. "It's really fixing your spiritual veins - but it leaves you vulnerable. Right now, anyone could…" he trails away, uneasy.

"Yes, and it wouldn't even be hard," Shen Qingqiu agrees ruefully and breathes deeply in and out, letting himself enjoy the aftereffects of the cultivation for a moment longer, before setting the quietly humming satiation of it aside. "The next hurdle will be a bit more difficult, but it should… take care of the vulnerabilities."

Liu Qingge hums and stands up, standing over and holding out a hand to him, to pull him up as well. "How much time do you need?"

Rubbing at his neck, Shen Qingqiu accepts the hand. "Weeks, months. Maybe years."

Liu Qingge hisses out a little tch. "Sounds about right," he mutters, and they turn to join Yue Qingyuan by the tea table, Shen Qingqiu sitting across from him, Liu Qingge at his right side. "I suppose if it was easy anyone would be developing their own cultivation methods. You know, with this thing, you could probably start your own sect one day? At the very least, a new peak."

Shen Qingqiu frowns a little at that. He… hadn't even thought about it that way. Granted, he hadn't really gone into this all that intentionally in the first place, the whole thing just sort of happened. But Liu Qingge isn't wrong. The twelve peaks of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect had formed around their own cultivation methods, their own cultivation laws. Maybe back in the beginning, when the sect had come together, the individual peaks were their own smaller sects with their own methods, who eventually banded together for some reason. Bai Zhan Peak's physical cultivation had nothing to do with Qing Jing Peak's spiritual cultivation, and neither of them had anything to do with Qiong Ding's brand of sword cultivation.

And Shen Qingqiu's… whatever it is… had nothing to do with any of them.

"I'm the Qing Jing Peak Lord," Shen Qingqiu says with a shake of his head. "I can't just break away to start another Peak. And I'm not exactly going to teach this method to anyone."

"No?" Liu Qingge asks. "Why not?"

"Why not - why would I?" Shen Qingqiu asks, incredulous. "You know what it's for! Why would I ever - why would anyone -?"

"Why do you? You're developing it for some reason, presumably you have a need for it. If you do, then others might as well," Liu Qingge says reasonably.

Yue Qingyuan chuckles, sounding a little strained, and pours them both tea. "Let's… not go there just yet. Shen-shidi's method is still in its infancy, as far as I understand it - it is far too early to be thinking about such things. And - Shen-shidi is right, he is the Qing Jing Peak Lord. I'm afraid it would throw things into something of a disarray if he broke away to form a new peak."

Shen Qingqiu scoffs and reaches for the cup. "My method is extremely exploitable," he says grimly. "I think I would rather die than impart it on others."

"Hm," Liu Qingge answers dubiously. "It's healing your meridians. And what you did for me - that's not something any other cultivation method can do. I can see it being exploitable, but it definitely seems to have its upsides."

Shen Qingqiu shakes his head and says nothing to that, taking a sip of tea. It's from his stores, served from his autumn pot, but he can taste Yue Qingyuan's hand in the preparation - the man always lets the water boil for too long, and he can almost taste the iron of the kettle in it. Some things never change.

Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan exchange a look, and Yue Qingyuan clears his throat. "Shen-shidi had something to tell us," he says then, with that look like he's biting back something, his eyes shining. The old dog, eager to please, trying to behave.

Shen Qingqiu looks up and sets the cup down slowly. Then he looks away and tries to pull his thoughts in order. He's come this far - and he's been leading these men by the nose long enough. Somewhere between Shen Jiu's pride, compulsive secrecy and Shen Yuan's thin face and shame… Shen Qingqiu has gotten a little tired of the lies. Yue Qingyuan knows some of the truth, and Liu Qingge is… it would be wrong, to keep him in the dark.

It's the right thing to do. Even if he's terrified… it needs to be done.

"It's time I tell you the truth."

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu moves a little differently, and Yue Qingyuan is wholly distracted by it.

Though always elegant and perfectly poised, Shen Qingqiu has a very characteristic stiffness to his movements usually, as though he's always restraining himself to some extent. It was, Yue Qingyuan thought, a side effect of how he had assumed that elegance and poise - it was very acquired, something he learned and perfected later in life, in his late adolescence. It never sat quite as naturally on Shen Qingqiu's shoulders as it did on, for example, Qi Qingqi's.

It was a mask, one of Shen Qingqiu's many masks, and arguably one of the more important ones. It's how they thought an Immortal Master was supposed to act and move, how they were supposed to look. So much of Shen Qingqiu is constructed like that, layers upon layers of costume pulled on to cover the sharp edges of the starved street rat he used to be - they both used to be. Yue Qingyuan hid his sharp, fractured edges by becoming big and strong enough that they no longer show, while Shen Qingqiu covered them in layers of silk. Still, when you knew where to look, one likely could see that hint of pretence on them both, how really it was all a façade.

Now though… Shen Qingqiu moves quietly, his movements a little softer, a little looser. It reminds Yue Qingyuan of how his Shidi can be when freshly woken, when he'd not yet pulled on his proverbial armour, hadn't yet had to sharpen his claws. Right now he's relaxed, even with both Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge there. His spine isn't so straight, his chin isn't held so high as to give that usual impression of unyielding hardness. He…

For once, Shen Qingqiu isn't on his guard.

It's lovely.

That doesn't mean he isn't still hiding things - protecting his secrets.

"Truth," Liu Qingge repeats, all his attention on Shen Qingqiu, the same as Yue Qingyuan. "Truth about what?"

"Luo Binghe, for one," Shen Qingqiu says and glances up at Yue Qingyuan. "And… myself. Zhangmen-shixiong knows some of it already - he saw it, during my Qi-deviation. It's time for Liu-shidi to know it as well. It would be… unfair otherwise."

Liu Qingge looks between them, his eyes narrowing. "Alright," he says warily and straightens his back - judging by his expression, he's recalling Yue Qingyuan's reaction to that particular truth. He's bracing himself for it. "I'm listening."

Shen Qingqiu hums, hesitating, and looks down at the teacups again, his long, pale fingers running idly over the brim of his cup as he thinks. Even that is elegant. He's quiet for a long moment, clearly not knowing where to start. Strand of white hair, loosened from its usual arrangement, slips over his eyes.

"Would Shen-shidi like for this Shixiong to explain what he understood?" Yue Qingyuan offers to stop himself from trying to reach out to correct it. "Perhaps it would make it easier to begin?"

Shen Qingqiu hums again and then shakes his head. "No - there's been enough misunderstandings here. Best Liu-shidi hears it in my own words," he says and looks at Liu Qingge, offering him a wry, almost self-deprecating smile. "Liu-shidi must've noticed by now - all the… inconsistencies about this one."

"That's one way to put it," Liu Qingge scoffs, looking between them warily. "I figured that was just because of your new cultivation, and your… reasoning behind it. Obviously, it's changed your priorities."

"Well, yes, I suppose that's part of it," Shen Qingqiu agrees and lifts his tea cup. "Oh, how easy it would be to justify everything with just that," he mutters ruefully and takes a sip. "But no, that's not it. Liu-shidi, I am not living my first life here."

Yue Qingyuan looks at Liu Qingge for his reaction, and though there is one, it's mild. Slight narrowing of eyes and thoughtful glance in his direction, but no disbelief. "I suppose you don't just mean to say you remember your previous reincarnation?" Liu Qingge says slowly.

"No. I'm reliving my life," Shen Qingqiu admits. "Which is what Zhangmen-shixiong saw during my Qi-deviation - a small part of it. Among other things, he saw a scene of the future I lived through. From before I came back."

"Really?" Liu Qingge says, casting him a look.

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat as his mind immediately flashes back to that terrible scene, Shen Qingqiu of that dark future, hanging from chains… he stifles the shudder, best he can. Part of Yue Qingyuan still wishes to believe what he'd seen wasn't real - that it was some nightmare he'd stumbled upon, a terrible illusion created by some poison, or demon. The time that has passed since has faded out some of the details, as time is wont to do - but not all. Some it has only enhanced. The smell of it, the feel - the icy horror as it settled into him, like an infection. Yue Qingyuan can still see it, that hanging body, when he closes his eyes. It still appears in his dreams.

"It couldn't have happened in this time," he says faintly and looks at Shen Qingqiu. White hair, not black. Whole, not broken. "Not unless Shen-shidi has been hiding some grievous injuries. In that future he was… missing a great deal of himself."

"Sect Leader is putting it mildly," Shen Qingqiu says wryly without looking up and sips his tea. The rebellious, stray strand of hair covers his eyes. "My arms and legs had been ripped off, along with one eye and my tongue. I died half a man, if even that. And I promise you - it's not something one heals from without divine intervention."

Liu Qingge leans back, expressions flickering on his too quick for Yue Qingyuan to read them. Disbelief, concern, understanding, suspicion. "Your… enemy did that? Then - that dream, that was also -?"

"Ah, that," Shen Qingqiu mutters, wincing and making a face. "I suppose it was too much to ask for Liu-shidi to forget that…"

"Enemy?" Yue Qingyuan asks sharply, looking up, glancing between them. "What dream?"

Liu Qingge straightens his back and clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable as well. "When the Dream Demon attacked Luo Binghe, years ago - after the demon invasion of Qiong Ding Peak," he explains, not looking away from Shen Qingqiu. "When we were pulled into Luo Binghe's dream. The demon sent us into different nightmares taken from our pasts. Mine was a night hunt where a Shixiong of mine died when I was a boy - Shen Qingqiu's was one where he was raped in a cave underground."

Yue Qingyuan's breath catches and blood runs a little colder, his eyes snapping back to Shen Qingqiu. He knew, of course he knew the future was particularly terrible for Shen Qingqiu, that horrible things happened to him - but to hear it said so openly -

"Liu-shidi misunderstood that vision," Shen Qingqiu mutters uncomfortably, looking away. "That is not what that dream was."

Liu Qingge makes a noise of disbelief, giving him a look. "You crawled from underground with your clothes torn, bite marks all over your shoulders and blood in your - what else could it have been?"

Shen Qingqiu hisses. "It wasn't rape," he says firmly. "It was - a failed attempt to quell something that I -" he stops, the tea cup in his hand shaking so badly that he has to set it down to avoid spilling tea all over himself. "I tried to Dual Cultivate with someone that was - too strong for me. My body couldn't take it, it wasn't prepared properly. Both of us - suffered."

The words settle between them like something heavy and unwieldy, weighed down further by their implications. While Yue Qingyuan struggles with the horrible mental image put into his mind, Liu Qingge sips his tea, grimacing.

"I sure as hell looked like suffering," he mutters. "Is that why you…?"

"Never mind that now," Shen Qingqiu almost snaps and shakes his head, folding his arms - hugging himself. "The point of the matter is, I know the future - a version of the future, one that has already changed, but even so. I know things about events that might come to pass, and secrets about people that might come into play. And with the current trend towards war with the Northern Demon Realm, there are things I need to tell you both."

Liu Qingge looks like he wants to argue, press the previous matter and get answers about it - Yue Qingyuan wants it too, all the while wanting nothing less. Shen Qingqiu's expression has taken on that mulish tint, however - he wouldn't be talking about it further. And yet…

For an attempt at Dual Cultivation to go so poorly for him… in the future, he hadn't practised Dual Cultivation to that extent, then. His new method - it's something he's only done in this timeline. Something he thinks is necessary, to change things. Then, all this time… he really has been preparing to Dual Cultivate not with just anyone… but someone specific.

Yue Qingyuan thinks about the Qi-deviation and what Qiu Jianluo said in Shen Qingqiu's memory and wonders how long has it been coming for his Shidi. How long has the shadow of the Human Cauldron loomed over him. Since he's only recently made it into a method, did he struggle against it before? There is an element of embarrassment to it, the method is unorthodox and… indecent in a way...

Yue Qingyuan's thoughts trail away as Liu Qingge speaks.

"... about Luo Binghe and why you don't think rescuing him is necessary?" their Shidi asks, clearly trying to bite back his confusion, his anger. "You've been against it from the start - like you know something we don't."

"I do," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "It has to do with what he is - not just Heavenly Demon, but a half-human and half-heavenly demon mix. It's a particularly potent mix - one that I doubt has ever happened before."

"There are half-demons aplenty all across the world, why's that mix special?" Liu Qingge asks while Yue Qingyuan reaches for his own tea cup, trying to bring his thoughts back to the present.

"I think it's because of what Heavenly Demons are. They're divinity that fell from grace, so to speak," Shen Qingqiu explains. "I already told you that they hold a spark of that divinity, didn't I?"

Liu Qingge scoffs. "It came up, yes."

"That alone makes Heavenly Demons especially powerful. When you add human blood - human soul - into the mix, it gives the result even greater access to that spark, I think," Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. "Granted, that's only if you get the mix right, and that is extremely unlikely. Normally when you mix Heavenly Demon blood with that of any other race, it results in terrible mutations, barely fit to live. Rarely is the resulting mix healthy, whole, and perfectly formed. I suspect that usually couplings between humans and Heavenly Demons result in stillborns."

Liu Qingge makes a face, clearly not sure what to think of that, and Yue Qingyuan clears his throat. "But Luo Binghe is not only perfectly healthy, but he's trained as a human cultivator," he says slowly, thinking about it. "Luo Binghe is, according to your own words, strong."

Shen Qingqiu nods. "He is. As a human cultivator, he had boundless potential. As a half-heavenly demon…" he trails away, smiling a little. It's not a pretty smile - and yet, he looks almost proud. "Luo Binghe will be the strongest demon to live in his age. I know he will - because he did. By the time he joins the human realm, whenever that will be, Luo Binghe will be stronger than myself, stronger than Liu-shidi. Perhaps as strong as Zhangmen-shixiong, though that was never tested," he says and looks at Yue Qingyuan meaningfully.

Yue Qingyuan shifts in his seat at the implications. He'd never had a cause to draw Xuan Su against Luo Binghe then. That's... a good sign, isn't it? 

"Tch!" Liu Qingge says, disbelieving. "Really?"

"Mm-hmm," Shen Qingqiu agrees, and smiles a little wider, knowing.

Yue Qingyuan can almost hear the gulp as Liu Qingge swallows, just as unprepared for Shen Qingqiu's smiles as is he. "That's - hard to believe," the War God almost stammers. "Your brat is good, but…"

"Well, we always knew that if he survived, Luo Binghe would grow strong as a Heavenly Demon," Yue Qingyuan says slowly. "But since Shen-shidi is telling us this now, that's not all there is to it, is there?"

"Luo Binghe is inexorably drawn to trouble," Shen Qingqiu explains with a dry tilt to his lips. "If war breaks out between humans and demons, he will find himself in the middle of it, that's just his nature. If that happens, he will also end up claiming the title of a Demon Lord before long for the simple reason that there is no one his equal in the Demon Realm - except, perhaps, his father. Tianlang-Jun."

… oh. 

Yue Qingyuan clears his throat at that and can't help but throw a glance at Liu Qingge, who makes a face in return.

"What?" Shen Qingqiu asks, catching it immediately, his eyes narrowing. 

"…Tianlang-Jun is Luo Binghe's father?" Liu Qingge repeats dryly.

Shen Qingqiu looks between them doubtfully. "Who else?" he asks slowly. "Setting aside the fact that Tianlang-Jun is the last living pureblood Heavenly Demon we know of, he was sealed away very close to the time of Luo Binghe's birth. Luo Binghe was named for the river where his adoptive mother found him - Luo river."

"… which flows through Bai Lu forest and past Bai Lu mountain," Yue Qingyuan mutters and with a sigh runs a hand down his face. "Where Tianlang-Jun was sealed. Of course."

"You couldn't be bothered to tell us this before, huh?" Liu Qingge asks wryly, folding his arms - a very clear sign of him being defensive, though Yue Qingyuan doubts Liu Qingge is aware of that particular tell he has. "Shen Qingqiu, I swear, you do this on purpose."

"I was having some mental issues, and you pushing the matter constantly wasn't helping! It took me all last month to sort myself out," Shen Qingqiu says coolly, his eyes flickering between them with what is clearly a dawning suspicion. "I'm telling you now! I'm trying - trying to tell you what you might be up against. And I see you don't seem to care that Luo Binghe might become the very Demon Lord we might have to fight against. So. What have you two done?"

Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan share another uneasy look, and Liu Qingge mutters a curse. "That Snake Demon friend of yours," he admits. "I saw him again. We made a deal. He wanted some seeds - and in return, he gave me Tianlang-Jun's arm. Did you know he's alive?"

Shen Qingqiu stares at him. "You... gave him some seeds," he repeats slowly. "You - in Bai Lu Forest? Was it in Bai Lu Forest?"

"Yes, yes - he wanted seeds off a flower that grew in a cave, whatever," Liu Qingge says, waving a dismissive hand. "He gave me Tianlang-Jun's arm in payment - his very fresh arm. Ran Qingnan has it now, though the talisman is going to take a while - "

"You gave Zhushi-Lang the Sun and Moon Dew Flower Seeds," Shen Qingqiu interrupts him, his voice faint.

Liu Qingge hesitates, looking a little taken aback, and Yue Qingyuan clears his throat. "The seeds are more significant than we thought, then?" he asks, with growing unease.

"How many did you give him?" Shen Qingqiu asks, staring at Liu Qingge.

"I didn't exactly count them - a handful?" Liu Qingge says warily. "What do they do?"

Shen Qingqiu says nothing for a moment, and then he closes his eyes and runs both hands over his face. For a moment it looks like he might cry. "This is what I get," he mutters and makes a strangled noise. "I knew I couldn't afford to go into seclusion. This is what I get for taking time for myself. This is what I get for not doing my fucking job. Oh, I regret everything now, I am such an idiot."

"Shen Qingqiu - what do the seeds do?" Liu Qingge demands with some alarm. "Shen Qingqiu, answer me, what do they do? What are they for?"

Beside him Yue Qingyuan inches closer to Shen Qingqiu, to comfort him. "Shidi…" he says softly, putting a hand on Shen Qingqiu's shoulder. It's only to realise that Shen Qingqiu isn't crying - he's laughing.

"A handful," the Qing Jing Peak Lord almost giggles. "You gave Zhushi-Lang a handful of seeds. Oh, this is going to be great," he says and looks up. He looks almost wild, his hair out of place, his eyes bright, vivid. The smile on his face is breathtaking in its fierceness. "A handful!"

"Shidi, please," Yue Qingyuan says, his hand hovering over Shen Qingqiu's shoulders, his heart clenching at the sight of him. His face is so close, flushed with emotion - Yue Qingyuan can't take this. "Clearly we do not understand - please, won't you explain?"

Shen Qingqiu half scoffs, half laughs, and answers. "In the right conditions, the seeds of the Sun and Moon Dew Flowers can be used to grow a duplicate body for someone. As long as they're given a sample of Qi while the original is alive, they can be used as a backup in case of death," he says and tilts his head, playful, mocking, looking at Liu Qingge. "Or, say, to help the original escape the enormous amount of seals they're under. He'll use it to help Tianlang-Jun escape. And you gave him a handful."

Liu Qingge eyes him incredulously and demands "Well, how was I supposed to know when you don't tell us anything!"

"I'm telling you now!" Shen Qingqiu answers and throws up his hands, almost shaking Yue Qingyuan's hand off him. "I thought I had time! I thought I could trust you to - no, never mind," he groans and pushes the loose strands of white hair from his face. "Never mind, what's done is done, and something like this was bound to happen. You said you got Tianlang-Jun's arm, Liu-shidi?"

"... Yes," Liu Qingge scoffs. "Ran Qingnan says that making a talisman from it to track others of its kind is possible, but it will take a while. The aura on that thing, it's powerful. Especially since the originator is still alive, which you also failed to tell us."

"Well, I didn't know for sure. Last time I met Tianlang-Jun, he was already in another body, and it was already breaking apart," Shen Qingqiu sighs and rubs at his forehead. "I was sure his body had already died but his spirit lived on, something to that effect. I suppose I… shouldn't have assumed."

"Breaking apart?" Liu Qingge asks, shaking his head in confusion.

"The bodies grown with the Sun and Moon Dew Flowers can't contain that kind of demonic Qi for long," Shen Qingqiu explains, shrugging his shoulders under Yue Qingyuan's hand. "They're formed from pure natural Qi, so demonic Qi makes them decay."

"Well, that's good then - even if he makes a body, it will just fail eventually," Liu Qingge points out.

"Yes - except you gave Zhushi-Lang several seeds," Shen Qingqiu scoffs and casts a look at Yue Qingyuan. "So they'll have plenty of replacements."

At his narrow eyes look, Yue Qingyuan lifts his hand off his Shidi's back and shifts back to his own seat cushion, straightening his back giving him back his space. "Shen-shidi met Tianlang-Jun," he says. "And yet thought he was dead? But Shidi -" Yue Qingyuan stops, eyes narrowed. "Did you just… that Snake Demon, his name is Zhushi-Lang?"

"Sect Leader knows him?" Liu Qingge asks dryly and waves a disgusted hand through the air. "Tch. Of course you do - who is he?"

"I know him, yes - I fought him, when Tianlang-Jun was subjugated. Zhuzhi-Lang was Tianlang-Jun's strongest general," Yue Qingyuan explains briefly, giving Shen Qingqiu a look. "Only the last time I saw him, he was in the form of a gigantic snake. Shen-shidi, you knew, the whole time he was here, that he was Tianlang-Jun's lackey?"

Shen Qingqiu grimaces at that and then sighs. "Yes, I knew," he admits begrudgingly. "He can only maintain his other forms with the aid of Tianlang-Jun's blood - without it, Zhuzhi-Lang is sadly stuck with his malformed birth form."

"Right - and that's significant?" Liu Qingge asks, sounding more annoyed than curious, and Shen Qingqiu makes an uncomfortable face - so, yes, clearly it is. "Why is that significant?"

"Well," Shen Qingqiu mutters and trails away.

Sluggishly, like lumps of sugar in honey, the pieces of the puzzle slot together in Yue Qingyuan's mind. "… There was once a rumour that Zhuzhi-Lang was in fact Tianlang-Jun's nephew. And, considering what you just told us about half-heavenly demons…" he says slowly, eying Shen Qingqiu incredulously. "Shidi - is he… another half-heavenly demon?"

"... are you kidding me? He is? He is," Liu Qingge says flatly and swings to his feet, staring at Shen Qingqiu. "We had a Heavenly Demon right there, and you didn't say anything?!"

Yue Qingyuan quickly reaches to grab him before he can go at Shen Qingqiu, taking hold of Liu Qingge's wrist to keep him from swinging it. It's unnecessary, he knows, Liu Qingge wouldn't actually attack Shen Qingqiu like that, not anymore - but it's all Yue Qingyuan can do to stop himself from swinging to his feet demanding answers.

Both of them stare at Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu sighs. "Okay, now I regret everything," he mutters, covering his eyes with his hand for a moment. "Liu Qingge, don't you think, at this point, that maybe I might have a reason why I don't want to fuck the first Heavenly Demon I come across? Aside from the fact that I don't particularly want to fuck anything right now."

"But you - the Without a Cure -"

"The Without a Cure poison is being managed, I am fine, I am not going to die the next damn second unless someone sticks a demonic dick in me!" Shen Qingqiu snaps and looks up. "Please sit down."

Yue Qingyuan gapes at him, feeling a ludicrous urge to chastise him for his language. It's - rare to hear Shen Qingqiu be so churlish, so - so - unrefined and crude. Feeling his cheeks growing red, Yue Qingyuan awkwardly releases Liu Qingge's wrist, while the furious War God collapses back down, glaring at Shen Qingqiu in pure, helpless frustration. His cheeks too, Yue Qingyuan notes, are flushed.

The Qing Jing Peak Lord glares right back at them. "What else have you two been up to while I've been indisposed?" he asks coolly and looks at Yue Qingyuan and then back at Liu Qingge, his expression searching. "Let's just get it all out right now, shall we, so that if I end up in another Qi-deviation, you two can get Mu Qingfang here right away."

"Tch," Liu Qingge answers, reaching for the tea pot and pouring himself a very angry cup of tea. "Maybe we should ask you what else are you hiding? Will you tell us, finally? Or will we stumble into it once one of us fucks up again because you don't tell us what we need to know?"

Shen Qingqiu tsks and looks at Yue Qingyuan. "How about you, Zhangmen-shixiong? Anything to share?"

Yue Qingyuan swallows, his mind still stuck repeating stick a demonic dick in Shen Qingqiu. Really, his heart can't take this. "Not - not as such," he says roughly and looks down. Heavens. What is he even supposed to say after that?

"Really?" Shen Qingqiu asks, eyes narrowed. "Nothing at all? After month and a half - you'll pardon this Shidi that he finds it hard to believe."

Yue Qingyuan shakes his head, trying to sort his scattered thoughts. Is there something…? His newly strengthened Heart Demons are hardly important now. "Well, I do, I suppose… I wonder about Shang Qinghua's role in this."

Liu Qingge starts at that, scowling. "What does he have to do with anything?" he asks annoyedly. "Shang Qinghua isn't even here."

Yue Qingyuan gives Shen Qingqiu a look, and the Qing Jing Peak Lord makes a face as though he'd forgotten. "Oh, him," he says and hesitates. "Well, he too knows the future. A version of the future."

"... Shang Qinghua is from the future too?" Liu Qingge asks incredulously. "That guy - why him?"

"He's the one that came up with the method," Shen Qingqiu says a little reluctantly. "It - isn't important right now, really. I am fairly certain Shang Qinghua is only interested in living out his life quietly without causing any incidents."

That… rather sounds like he doesn't want them to ask about it. And as much as Yue Qingyuan wants to make things easier for Shen Qingqiu, Liu-shidi is right. Enough with the secrets and lies. 

"He worked with demons in the previous life, though, didn't he, Shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asks pointedly. "When you were captive, he had free movement of the place you were kept in. He wore demonic clothing. He had free reign to research demonic texts."

Shen Qingqiu sighs and gives him an exasperated look. "Zhangmen-shixiong, must you?"

"I'm sorry, Shidi, but yes, I must," Yue Qingyuan says firmly, as much as he wants to bend to that look. "He was allied with demons - and with your captor. Wasn't he?"

"And you're still friends with the guy?" Liu Qingge asks incredulously.

"Extenuating circumstances," Shen Qingqiu says and runs a hand through his hair, clearly trying to come up with something to say. "Shang Qinghua serves his purpose to me now. He's… a spy."

"... In the Demon Realm?" Yue Qingyuan asks, a little surprised. Part of him suspected, but…

Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes. "In Mobei-Jun's court," he says and then, even more begrudgingly, explains. "The Ice Demon Lord. Shang Qinghua is a spy in his court."

There's a moment of silence as Yue Qingyuan gapes at him. Liu Qingge tsks. "How the hell did someone like that manage to ingratiate himself to a Demon Lord?"

"I'm absolutely certain I don't want to even know. All I need to know is that he is," Shen Qingqiu mutters. "Mobei-Jun isn't interested in any further attacks against the Human Realm at this point, by the by. He's a little busy fighting with his Uncle for the throne right now."

"You didn't think that was something we - and the other sects - might need to know?" Liu Qingge asks flatly.

"Honestly, considering the current situation, no," Shen Qingqiu answers, just as flat. "For one, a spy is only of use when they're still alive - spread Shang Qinghua's information around, and he'll end up dead in short order. Secondly, the power struggle in the North is common knowledge."

Liu Qingge begrudgingly tilts his head in agreement at that. "And the part about this Mobei-Jun not being interested in further attacks? That's not common knowledge, is it?"

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "Would the other Great Sects even care? It doesn't fit into their narrative, or their agenda. At most they'd consider it as a possibility - more likely they'd ignore it and then trump up some evidence to the contrary."

Yue Qingyuan sighs, smoothing a hand over his knee in thought. "Shen-shidi might be right," he admits ruefully. "Huan Hua Palace and Tian Yi Overlook seem keen on escalation - they wouldn't take such a report into consideration." Certainly the Old Palace Master would find a way to dismiss it.

Liu Qingge scoffs and looks at Shen Qingqiu. "So Shang Qinghua is just your spy. He's not anything… else to you?"

Shen Qingqiu gives him a wary look. "Well, he also does construction - what else is Liu-shidi expecting?"

Liu Qingge makes a face and doesn't say it. "Good, fine, whatever," he mutters and takes a resentful sip of tea, his eyes finding Yue Qingyuan's. "One less thing to worry about, I guess."

Yue Qingyuan makes a rueful hum in answer, offering the War God a wry smile of solidarity. At least there's that. 

Shen Qingqiu is watching them suspiciously, so Yue Qingyuan clears his throat to ask. "Shang-shidi's work in the Demon Realm - how does he manage it? How does he get there - is it safe?"

"As safe as it can be, and from what I know he makes the trip through portals Mobei-Jun makes for him," Shen Qingqiu says, shaking his head at him. "You don't have to worry about that - Mobei-Jun is… fond of Shang Qinghua. I'm fairly sure he even stopped beating him."

"... What?" Yue Qingyuan asks faintly. "Mobei-Jun… beat Shang-shidi?"

"Demonic interactions," Shen Qingqiu waves a dismissive hand. "They tend to be violent. Don't worry about Shang Qinghua - he's tougher than he looks and more than fine with his lot in life, despite everything."

Not entirely sure how to take that, Yue Qingyuan sets it aside. He would have to talk to Shang Qinghua about it, sometime later. "And you consider him trustworthy?"

"I trust that our goals are aligned," Shen Qingqiu says plainly and shakes his head. "Shang Qinghua isn't important right now. What's important is Luo Binghe."

The words are followed by a moment of awkward silence, weighed down by everything revealed so far. Even with Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang, the important thing is Luo Binghe - Yue Qingyuan hardly knows what to say or ask anymore. His head is starting to ache.

Liu Qingge is the one to speak eventually. "So, you think he'll side with demons?" he asks, eying Shen Qingqiu. "Even against you?"

Shen Qingqiu hums and gives him a pointed look back. "Maybe not me - but I'm not the one going after him, am I?" he says meaningfully. "I'm not the one having a talisman made - out of his own father's hand, nonetheless."

"I didn't know -"

"Yes, we covered that. Does that mean you are going to stop now?"

Tellingly, Liu Qingge doesn't answer, just makes a face at him, stubborn and determined.

Yue Qingyuan leans back a little, thinking. "In the future, Luo Binghe became a Demon Lord of the North?" he asks thoughtfully. "Not South, where his father ruled?"

"Mn, North is where he began," Shen Qingqiu agrees, looking away from Liu Qingge's mutinous expression. "He had the means to conquer the South too. If he set his mind to it, he could conquer the Human Realm too while he is at it."

"He's that strong?" Liu Qingge asks dubiously. "He's just a clingy brat, though."

Shen Qingqiu harrumphs at that. "He was. Who knows what he's now - who knows what he will become. His potential is immeasurable," he says - and again, there's a hint of pride there. "I don't know what he will do now. But if this war happens and you still insist on going after him, you need to be prepared. He won't be an easy opponent."

Yue Qingyuan shares a look with Liu Qingge, who scowls. "You think the brat will fight us if we do find him and want to bring him back?"

Shen Qingqiu just looks at them seriously and says nothing.

"Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says slowly. "If… if Luo Binghe is such a difficult prospect, then, perhaps Zhushi-Lang -?"

The reaction is immediate. "No, absolutely not," Shen Qingqiu says firmly, his nose scrunching in distaste. "Don't even think about it."

"He does seem to be around," Liu Qingge points out, eyes narrowing in thought. "And he owes you."

"Owes me for not letting you abuse him! That's not a debt, Liu-shidi, that's just common decency."

Yue Qingyuan hums. "And yet, Zhushi-Lang is older than Luo Binghe by a decent amount. You can't claim he's too young. Should the question be posed to him -"

"No," Shen Qingqiu says again.

"Shen Qingqiu, stop being an idiot about this -"

"Shen-shidi, you need to be cured -"

"Even if I agreed with you, which I don't," Shen Qingqiu says flatly, "right now I can't. My cultivation is at a delicate state right now - if I Dual Cultivated with someone, even for medical reasons, it would drain my Qi and probably kill me. It's not going to happen anytime soon."

There's that. Yue Qingyuan looks down, blushing - the thought of Shen Qingqiu Dual Cultivating once more rousing his treacherous imagination. Not anytime soon doesn't mean never. One day...

"After you work it out, then," Liu Qingge says firmly, scowling "Promise us you'll at least consider it."

"Hopefully by then we will have bigger issues to be worried about," Shen Qingqiu mutters, annoyed. "But fine, I promise I'll consider it."

Yue Qingyuan forces himself to relax, while beside him Liu Qingge makes a satisfied sort of harrumph and looks away. Shen Qingqiu eyes them both warily and then relaxes as well, looking a little off-put by the whole thing. The silence sits between them heavy once more, charged with implication and knowledge and not a little bit of embarrassed longing.

Yue Qingyuan shares a look with Liu Qingge and wonders of any of them would ever get used to the idea of Shen Qingqiu's practices. Going by Liu Qingge's angry blush, he's nowhere closer than Yue Qingyuan.

Reaching for his tea cup, Shen Qingqiu shakes his head, looking away from them. "What else, what else," he murmurs to himself, lifting the cup to his lips "I covered Luo Binghe, Tianlang-Jun - ugh."

"What is it now?" Liu Qingge asks irritably while Yue Qingyuan braces himself.

Shen Qingqiu makes a face. "The tea has gone cold," he complains, setting the cup down. "But speaking of Tianlang-Jun. It will take at least five years for Zhushi-Lang to grow a duplicate body for him. So he will not be an issue for a while. Hopefully Zhushi-Lang won't be either, in the meanwhile. They might start causing trouble eventually."

"What kind of trouble?" Yue Qingyuan asks, resigned. "Another war?" Tianlang-Jun certainly had cause to be resentful.

"If only. The last time Tianlang-Jun embarked on a quest to unite the three realms," Shen Qingqiu explains. "Not, that is to say, under the banner of a single ruler - but in a single realm. He tried to undo the splitting of the realms and force the Human, Demon, and Heavenly Realms into unity."

Yue Qingyuan blinks while Liu Qingge scoffs. "Just that, huh? How can you almost forget something like that?"

"I was a little busy at the time," Shen Qingqiu scoffs and shakes his head. "I think he can be convinced to see some sense, though - the plan was foolish at best and motivated by some misconceptions he has. If he learns the truth, I think he will calm down."

"Misconceptions about what?" Yue Qingyuan asks a little uneasily. To him the whole matter seems sadly rather straightforward, the way the Great Sects tricked and ambushed the demon…

"Tianlang-Jun's tale is a pretty sad one," Shen Qingqiu muses. "He was enthralled by humans, fascinated by their culture, and even fell in love with a human, Su Xiyan. Then, when going to meet her as they'd planned, he was ambushed. He thinks she betrayed him."

"And that's reason enough to blend three realms together?" Liu Qingge asks dubiously, checking the teapot and pouring Shen Qingqiu a fresh cup of tea.

"He thinks it's the only way to bring unity and make everyone understand each other - by forcing everyone together, making them interact. Then, no one would have a reason to fight," Shen Qingqiu explains with a soft scoff. "It's stupid, and I think he knows it, but he doesn't care. Thank you, Liu-shidi."

"Su Xiyan," Yue Qingyuan murmurs. "That name sounds familiar. Was she somehow significant during the time of the subjugation?"

"Oh, you could say that. She's the reason the whole thing happened," Shen Qingqiu says and takes a sip of tea, humming. "The Old Palace Master of Huan Hua Palace arranged the ambush because of her. Because he was jealous. She was his Head Disciple - and he was obsessed with her. Still is, really."

Yue Qingyuan frowns. "Really? The Old Palace Master - he went that far?"

"Better yet, he originally sent her to spy and seduce information from Tianlang-Jun," Shen Qingqiu explains. "They didn't know immediately that Tianlang-Jun was the Demon Lord of the Southern Region, he was pretending to be human, and they just thought he was suspicious. Tianlang-Jun became infatuated, and Su Xiyan, I guess, felt the same. And the Old Palace Master couldn't stand for it."

Liu Qingge makes an irritated noise. "Is any of this relevant to what's going to happen?" he asks uneasily.

"I suppose not, not until Tianlang-Jun returns," Shen Qingqiu sighs. "But the thing that might change Tianlang-Jun's mind is the truth. He thinks Su Xiyan betrayed him - but it was her who was betrayed, by her own Shifu. The Old Palace Master poisoned her and left her with two options. Kill the child that she was carrying - or die to save it." He takes another sip of tea. "Su Xiyan chose the child. And that's where Luo Binghe comes from."

Ah. Yue Qingyuan sighs and runs a hand over his face. Even that - even Luo Binghe was in some way his fault, then. The subjugation really was the cause for everything.

"Zhangmen-shixiong," Shen Qingqiu says sharply. "I can almost see the stupid thoughts you're thinking. Stop it."

"I was just -" Yue Qingyuan starts and snaps his mouth shut ruefully under his Shidi's glare. 

Liu Qingge scoffs. "So it's the Old Palace Master. Again," he says and shakes his head with disgust. "That man has his fingers in everything, doesn't he?"

"The older you get, the more complicated your life becomes," Shen Qingqiu mutters, taking another sip of tea. "The more time you have to collect vices."

Yue Qingyuan hums in agreement. "He's always been a very cunning man," he muses grimly. "And one doesn't become the head of the wealthiest sect out there by accident. Nor stay one for as long as he has." But that doesn't excuse the part he'd played in the Old Palace Master's schemes.

"Old man should've ascended already," Liu Qingge mutters, his eyes narrowed in thought, in suspicion. "Shen Qingqiu, for once in your life, be honest - is it the Old Palace Master? Your enemy. Is it him?"

Yue Qingyuan's eyes widen, and he looks between his two Shidis, all guilt evaporating from his mind. "Liu-shidi mentioned an enemy before," he says slowly. "What enemy? The one who -?"

Liu Qingge answers tightly without looking away from Shen Qingqiu. "Years ago, when I suffered a Qi-deviation in Lingxi Caves, Shen Qingqiu saved my life, claiming he needed me in debt. Said he had an enemy greater than me, that he needed help with." He hisses out a frustrated breath at the look Shen Qingqiu is giving him. "Ever since then I've been trying to figure it out, and he refuses to tell me."

Shen Qingqiu stares at him blankly. "Has Liu-shidi been thinking about it all this time?"

"Yes! Of course I have!" Liu Qingge says furiously. "Because you don't seem to care at all!"

Shen Qingqiu sighs out a feeble laugh. "Oh, Liu-shidi - I told you that so that you wouldn't get stuck questioning my motives in the first place! As far as you knew, Shen Qingqiu had no reason to save you, so I came up with something to satisfy your suspicions!"

Liu Qingge leans back as thought struct. "You - but then - why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to save you," Shen Qingqiu says with a feeling. "In my first life, you never came out of that Qi-deviation again. Liu-shidi… you died."

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu is going back into in-house seclusion, likely for months on end. The current stage of his cultivation demanded it, and Liu Qingge can't help but be glad of it. The last month had been a kind of respite, knowing where Shen Qingqiu was at all times, knowing what he was doing. Being able to leave the mountain without having to worry…

But it's also a little…

"Shen-shidi shall be missed," Yue Qingyuan says as they finish the tea. "Peak Lord meetings aren't the same without you."

"You can believe this Shidi when he says he greatly regrets that," Shen Qingqiu says with a wry huff. "I can only hope I can trust you lot not to do anything stupid in the meanwhile."

"We're not completely useless," Liu Qingge mutters and pushes his tea cup away.

Shen Qingqiu gives him a look and then hums. "Well, you get a lot done on your own, I'll grant you that," he says and stands up, pushing his white hair over his shoulder as he does. "I want to see the talisman once it's done. Even if it breaks my concentration - before you put it into use, I want to see it personally."

"Fine," Liu Qingge scoffs and also stands. "I'll bring it here."

"Shen-shidi," Yue Qingyuan says, his tone thoughtful. "Knowing that Tianlang-Jun is alive and likely has his own agenda - why would he give his hand away like that? Even if Heavenly Demons can regenerate, it's a great deal of power he's potentially giving us."

"Yes and no," Shen Qingqiu says. "It's a lot of power - but it's not power he loses. Potentially, he's gaining more from it. Like the ability to track the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's War God. Heavenly Demons have nearly absolute awareness of their bodies - including the parts they've lost. Even if the hand is transformed, it's likely that Tianlang-Jun can in some ways still feel it."

"He'll be able to track it," Liu Qingge mutters. "Will he be able to control it?"

"That I don't know. That's why I want to see it before you put it to use," Shen Qingqiu admits. "But I suspect that at the very least Tianlang-Jun will make it so it can't be used to track him, or Zhushi-Lang. That's probably why he gave it away - to have some control over the end result."

Well, that's irritating. Liu Qingge would have to visit Ran Qingnan and make sure it was all accounted for. Maybe Tianlang-Jun's influence could be counteracted somehow.

"I'll keep house open for a day," Shen Qingqiu says. "I need to catch up with my disciples and inspect their progress before I reseal it. I'll be writing some letters as well - would Zhangmen-shixiong be willing to see that they get to the right recipients?"

Their Sect Leader nods, looking a little relieved for some reason. "Of course, Shidi, anything you need."

"Good," Shen Qingqiu says, nodding. "I should have the letters ready by this evening - I'll see Zhangmen-shixiong later for meditation then?"

"I would be delighted, Shidi," Yue Qingyuan says, taking that for the dismissal it is. He takes a moment to touch Shen Qingqiu's hand, looking like he would very much like to kiss it too. He doesn't, in the end, just strokes his thumb over the knuckles and then backs away with the slightest bow and nod of recognition towards Liu Qingge - who makes no move to leave.

A moment later, Liu Qingge is alone with the Qing Jing Peak Lord.

The silence is brief but charged before Liu Qingge breaks it. "I died. In Lingxi Caves."

"You did," Shen Qingqiu agrees. "I was there as well, and when your Qi-deviation hit its peak, you attacked me, much like you did this time. I… wasn't as well prepared. I couldn't save you."

That makes it hit home in a way regrets rarely do with Liu Qingge. Shen Qingqiu couldn't save him. Back then, Liu Qingge had fallen into Qi-deviation as well, and he hadn't been able to get out of it on his own, and he hadn't been saved. This time, in this life… Shen Qingqiu saved him.

Liu Qingge had known he had a debt, of course, and it weighed in his mind like a stone he couldn't budge. But he hadn't really thought that the debt was of his life. The Qi-deviation had been severe, but life-threatening? For anyone else, sure, but for Liu Qingge? No, surely the most he was in danger of losing was progress, he risked damaging his cultivation -

Shen Qingqiu watches him silently, and Liu Qingge looks away, furious with his past self, his alternate self, for his foolishness.

Almost five years of life he might not have had. Almost five years he could've been dead. He might have already reincarnated by now, into a new life with even higher potential and stronger spiritual root, bolstered greatly by his life as the War God of Bai Zhan Peak... likely to never step foot on Cang Qiong Mountain again.

Already he could be someone else, a child with a different family and upbringing, with a different destiny. The idea is shockingly uncomfortable. When the Qing generation had been selected, Liu Qingge had been satisfied. He'd thought, "This is what I will be now and forever," and it had been a gratifying thought. No more reincarnation, no other lives, no, he would Ascend with the other Peak Lords, he would Ascend as Liu Qingge and never again change…

But he had died.

"Liu-shidi," Shen Qingqiu says quietly.

"What happened after I died?" Liu Qingge says. "What happened to you, the sect - what happened to my sister?"

Shen Qingqiu looks down. "I'm not sure it will benefit you much to know -"

"Tell me."

For once, Shen Qingqiu doesn't argue further and doesn't deflect. "You got a send-off suitable to your station," he says. "And place of honour in the sect mausoleum. Your sister mourned, as did your Peak - though I think most of them mourned the loss of a chance to beat you. Obviously, no Lord was selected for Bai Zhan in your absence - Yue Qingyuan arranged rotation for the rest of us to manage your Peak. Wei Qingwei took on most of the responsibilities, training your disciples as close to your standards as he could."

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes. Wei Qingwei is a sword cultivator, but one of the better fighters in the sect - he would've done a decent enough job. "The Qing generation, they never ascended, did they? I was dead, and you're here - you died terribly. How - how did they let that happen?"

Shen Qingqiu presses his lips together and says nothing.

"Shen Qingqiu, tell me."

"... The Qing generation didn't ascend, no," he admits. "I was imprisoned less than a decade after your death. Shang Qinghua died sometime after that. Wei Qingwei, Shi Qinghuan and Ran Qingnan died in a battle that destroyed the sect. Yue Qingyuan was… ambushed…" he swallows. "I don't know what happened to the rest of the Peak Lords. I know Mu Qingfan lived a while longer, his expertise as a doctor made him valuable outside the sect, and I suspect Qi Qingqi lived a longer life too, but Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was systematically destroyed."

Liu Qingge feels a swell of indignation. "By who - what sect?"

Shen Qingqiu sighs and shakes his head. "It doesn't matter - the circumstances were different, and so was the world we lived in. Those circumstances don't exist here," he says and looks at Liu Qingge. "Naming them will just give you enemies you really don't need."

"If they might come after the sect again -"

"They won't. Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was destroyed in revenge," Shen Qingqiu says. "For things I have been very careful to avoid this time. I can't promise we will never be attacked, but I hope that kind of concentrated effort won't be turned our way again."

Liu Qingge glares at him incredulously. "Shen Qingqiu, you - you are being an idiot. If they came after the sect once, what's to stop them from doing it again?!"

"Hopefully because they don't have a reason to -"

"Reasons are excuses," Liu Qingge spits. "And so is revenge. Sometimes war happens just because someone wants it to happen. Revenge is a convenient justification to get rid of someone you don't like. War, Shen Qingqiu, doesn't start because of emotion. It starts because of prejudices or because of resources."

Shen Qingqiu frowns at that. "Liu-shidi, that's… rather insightful, actually."

"I'm the War God of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, you idiot - do you really think I gained the title just because I like to fight?" Liu Qingge asks, annoyed. "War history was always the only field of study I excelled at. And wars, Shen Qingqiu, don't start just because of revenge. There are always other reasons, a myriad of them - and there are always multiple people who benefit."

Admittedly, his interest in it did stem from his interest in the historical battles - but the logics and logistics of war are just as important as the engagements - more so, really. War might've been fought with blades - but it was fought on resources.

Shen Qingqiu frowns, eyeing him with a whole new kind of thoughtfulness. "Well. It… wasn't much of a war, really. Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was raided in a single night - and razed to the ground. And it was mostly done by one man - and he didn't need more justification than he wanted to do it."

Liu Qingge folds his arms. "One man against the whole Cang Qiong Mountain Sect? Against at least nine immortal cultivators and all their disciples? Really?"

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat. 

"War might begin from an insult," Liu Qingge says grimly. "A battle might seem sudden. But they don't happen without reason - or without premeditation. Warriors must be trained, fed, housed, geared up. Attacks are planned - the lay of the land needs to be scouted out, the numbers need to be considered. Everything from how quick the battle starts to how long it lasts - especially when you're attacking a well entrenched opponent like a mountain sect. We are sitting on a fortress - twelve fortresses, each more difficult to get to, the higher up on the mountain you go. To take us down a surprise attack isn't enough. It would take either a siege - or a whole lot of traitors already on the inside."

Shen Qingqiu looks away so sharply that Liu Qingge knows which one it is.

"Who?" he demands.

"Liu-shidi -"

"This is no longer about just me or your damned secrets, Shen Qingqiu - this is about the security of the sect. Who?"

Shen Qingqiu draws a breath and then exhales. "It was - work of many years. Many of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's young disciples were - seduced away from the sect. You were dead, I was imprisoned and Shang Qinghua was under the influence of Demons. Many things compiling on top of each other, not enough oversight, and not nearly enough unity within the sect -"

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes. "Not enough unity - what does that mean? We're Cang Qiong Mountain Sect - even if the peaks have their differences, we're known for our unity." Aren't they?

Shen Qingqiu looks a little pained at that. "That… is one of the things I hope I have changed for the better. Though I could've done more there, too…"

Thinking hard and trying to read between the lines, Liu Qingge glares at his stupid secretive Shixiong. What isn't he saying? "Shen Qingqiu - you were imprisoned? Why were you imprisoned - did Cang Qiong Mountain Sect even try to get you back?"

Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes and releases a slow exhale. "Sometimes I really hate how much smarter you are than I expect," he mutters. "Can't you go back to being a stupid brute who wouldn't know logic if it bit you on the ass?"

Beyond done with this, Liu Qingge grabs a hold of his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face him. "What happened?" he demands. "What happened to the sect to make them just - why didn't they get you back?"

Because that's what it would take to weaken their sect in that way, isn't it? Remove Shen Qingqiu - remove their tactician, their information handler and thinker. Liu Qingge's death already weakened the sect, naturally, stripping a layer of protection, but Shen Qingqiu was their ever suspicious voice of cutting reason. Without him… infiltrating the sect and weakening their cohesion, seducing away their disciples, would be that much easier.

"What happened to you?" Liu Qingge asks and gives the Qing Jing Peak Lord a little shake. "Shen Qingqiu, tell me! What happened to you?"

"You did!" Shen Qingqiu snaps. "You did, Liu-shidi. The perfect Bai Zhan War God with his assumptions and accusations - always at odds with Qing Jing Peak's scummy schemer. Recall your own damn reaction to my help in Lingxi Caves! You were confused about why I didn't take advantage, remember? Imagine what would've happened if you had died!"

Liu Qingge's lips part, but Shen Qingqiu continues before he can speak.

"When you died with me there, what could it be other than me taking advantage of your weakened state?" he snarls. "I was blamed for your death! Your sister spat in my face, and Qi Qingqi publicly denounced me. Almost the whole sect turned their backs to me. All but Yue Qingyuan, who hardly helped with his favouritism and bribery, covering the whole thing up. As far as anyone knew, I was blackmailing him somehow. Tch!"

Shen Qingqiu wrenches his shoulder loose from his hold, and, stupefied, Liu Qingge lets him. "What - what were you imprisoned for?" He asks. "My death?"

"It was certainly brought up, along with several other deaths, and a whole load of lechery," Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "My own disciples accused me of abuse."

Liu Qingge shakes his head slowly. Shen Qingqiu is furiously protective of his disciples - even and especially of the demonic one, who wasn't even present. "Someone used my death to smear your name," he mutters. "To make the sect turn their back on you, so that when you were taken…"

Shen Qingqiu makes a disgusted noise. "They had some legitimate charges," he admits. "Not that they were truly needed. When people of power want to remove you, reasons are easy to invent."

Liu Qingge's eyes harden. "How likely is it to happen again?" he asks.

Tellingly, Shen Qingqiu doesn't answer.

"So, no matter what you say, there is someone out there, who's plotting our Sect's fall - and it begins with you," Liu Qingge says and nods. "It's Huan Hua Palace. It's the Old Palace Master."

"Liu-shidi, really -"

"He's the one who revealed your new cultivation method to the world. Ever since then, every damn cultivator out there has been thinking about it, spreading rumours. For fuck's sake, Shen Qingqiu, you've secluded yourself on your own peak like a damn hermit, because you can't leave without the risk of being kidnapped! What is it, except someone trying to get you removed?"

Shen Qingqiu is standing very still now, and though his eyes are aimed at Liu Qingge, he's not really looking at him. He's gone even paler than usual. As he runs a hand through his white hair, it shakes.

"Last time they had my death to use," Liu Qingge says. "A very convenient excuse to smear your reputation to the point they could go after you without anyone arguing. This time, it's this Boundless Human Cauldron nonsense. Now, if you are captured and disappear..."

"It's almost expected," Shen Qingqiu murmurs faintly. "Liu-shidi, you... might not be entirely wrong."

Liu Qingge folds his arms. "Huan Hua Palace has been trying to get you ever since the conference. They're not even subtle about it," he says with disgust. "They're shameless, and it's making others shameless too."

Shen Qingqiu nods slowly. "They've normalised the idea of my - my utility," he says. "When the biggest, wealthiest, most influential sect acts like there's nothing wrong with it, others follow. How didn't I see it…?"

Because you're an idiot who doesn't consider your own safety as anything other than a nuisance, Liu Qingge thinks wryly. Shen Qingqiu is obsessive about the bigger picture - except when he himself is in it. 

"So. It is the Old Palace Master, after all," Liu Qingge says grimly and nods. Good. "I'm going to kill him."

Shen Qingqiu eyes snap to him. "For what - scheming? Aside from what he did to Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan, the man hasn't done anything that affects us, Liu-shidi, not yet. You attack him now, it'll be unprovoked, and then it'll be you who starts a war."

Liu Qingge hisses out a "tch!" and gives him a glare. "What, then? What do we do about this - and don't you dare say nothing."

"We do what we're planning to do. Gather more information, prepare for the worst, try and avert disaster," Shen Qingqiu says, shaking his head and then making a thoughtful expression. "The unrest in the Northern Demon Realm, we can use it as an excuse for preparations."

"And the old man? We can't just leave him be, who knows what he'll try next," Liu Qingge says. "And he will try something - he already is."

Shen Qingqiu hums, troubled. "The Old Palace Master is smart - and he's cultivated certain appearances for years and years. People trust him, they're loyal to him. We won't be able to accuse him of much. The only vice everyone knows he has is his hatred of demons, and it's considered acceptable…"

Well, at least he's thinking about it. "I don't suppose we can just assassinate him."

That makes the Qing Jing Peak Lord pause to stare at him. "Liu-shidi!" Shen Qingqiu gasps, theatrical. "How underhanded! Is that how a righteous cultivator should deal with problems?"

Liu Qingge rolls his eyes. "When you joined Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, it took you years to stop fighting like an assassin - and you still run an information network of brothels. Don't try to tell me you're above it."

Shen Qingqiu makes a strangled sound - a laugh. "I thought you'd be, Liu-shidi," he says. "Such underhanded methods are unbecoming. You told me so yourself, when I used my nasty, underhanded tricks."

"In a duel, yes. War is messy," Liu Qingge says with a shake of his head. "In war there are no rules."

That earns him a rueful smile and a shake of a head. "You really have changed, Liu-shidi."

"I'm not a child, no. And neither are you," Liu Qingge says, giving him a look. "And we have a sect to protect."

"Mn. Sadly, assassinating the Old Palace Master of Huan Hua Palace is likely impossible. One doesn't grow as old or as powerful as he without taking security measures," Shen Qingqiu says, shaking his head. "And even if we did succeed, he has an heir who's twice as vicious and not even half as subtle as he is - and Huan Hua Palace as ruled by the Little Palace Mistress is not something I want to see."

"So whatever happens, they both need to be dealt with," Liu Qingge says and nods. "Their head disciple seems reasonable."

"Gongyi Xiao? Yes, I suppose," Shen Qingqiu hums. "Though that's rather getting ahead of ourselves. I'll think on the subject and look into it, see what I come up with."

Liu Qingge nods. He might not have Shen Qingqiu's intellect, but he'd do the same. It's obvious now that Shen Qingqiu has a glaring blind spot he needs someone to cover. Speaking of which. "You should marry."

The face Shen Qingqiu makes is almost nostalgic - he rarely scrunches his nose like that anymore. "Excuse me, Liu-shidi?"

"Right now you're unattached," Liu Qingge says plainly. "You don't have any family either, do you? Single unattached cultivator might be pressured into things. Married one can't be, not without it being a slight upon your husband."

Shen Qingqiu makes a noise like an affronted cat. "Husband?" he repeats. "And why does Liu-shidi think this one would marry another man?"

Liu Qingge gives him a flat look, not even dignifying that with an answer.

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. "You're talking nonsense," he says and looks away. His ears are blazingly red under the white strands of hair resting on them. "Get out of my house."

"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge says, tired of this. He's tired of many things when it comes to Shen Qingqiu, but mostly of this. "I don't mind being the second husband. I've never minded."

"What -"

"Obviously you should take Yue Qingyuan as your first husband - you should've done it years ago," Liu Qingge says plainly. "It'll make everything easier for everyone."

Shen Qingqiu just gapes at him.

Liu Qingge scoffs, looking away. "I don't have the damn patience for this," he mutters. "Always hated the courtship customs - and hasn't Yue Qingyuan courted you long enough?" And hasn't Liu Qingge been patient enough, too? Because he definitely doesn't have it in him to go through this for another decade and more. Their sect leader is a man of a whole different kind of fortitude, that was for sure.

"Liu-shidi?" Shen Qingqiu stammers. "You, you want to -?"

Liu Qingge sighs, frustrated. "What, you think I'd mind? I always knew. Yue Qingyuan was here first. It's - fine," he says uncomfortably. If only Yue Qingyuan would've also had this conversation with Shen Qingqiu first, too. "It's common enough."

The Qing Jing Peak Lord snaps his mouth shut and makes a muffled ngh sound behind his teeth. Then he says, stupidly, "I haven't even kissed you?" And then, blushing, "Or him! I haven't done - anything! Nothing! Where is this even coming from?"

Making a face at him, Liu Qingge shakes his head. "Well, of course not. We're not married?"

That earns him an incredulous look.

Liu Qingge feels his cheeks grow hot. "Shen Qingqiu! We're not like - like you! We don't - I don't -" he stumbles over his words. "Of course we haven't! We're cultivators! You're the exception here with your -" he can't continue. Shen Qingqiu is staring at him like he's something incredibly bizarre, and Liu Qingge can't take it. "Just think about it!" he shouts and turns to leave.

"Liu-shidi! You can't just drop that on me and run!" Shen Qingqiu shouts furiously after him.

Evidently, Liu Qingge can, because that's exactly what he does. He runs.

Liu Qingge is halfway through his second bottle when Yue Qingyuan comes to see him. The sect leader has a stack of letters under his arm - and a dumbfounded look on his face.

"He told you," Liu Qingge says, scowling to hide his embarrassment.

"You - proposed to Shen-shidi?" Yue Qingyuan says dumbly.

Liu Qingge groans and pours himself another full cup of wine. "No, I told him he should marry you already and put us all out of our misery. Because of his reputation. And Huan Hua Palace and the Old Palace Master. Did he tell you about that?"

Yue Qingyuan swallows. "You proposed to him for me?" his voice is very faint.

Liu Qingge sighs. Honestly, these fools. They really would go through another decade or two of this, neither saying anything? Is that why they haven't - because they are incapable of just asking? "Sit down, Zhangmen-shixiong," Liu Qingge grumbles and turns another cup around, pouring his sect leader some wine. "You're giving me a neck ache."

Like a puppet with its strings cut off, Yue Qingyuan collapses to sit across from him, staring at him like a man who's recently suffered a blow to the head. Then he looks at the cups, the bottle. "I thought Shi Qinghuan wouldn't send wine to Bai Zhan Peak anymore? Didn't the whole peak go sober?"

"It's contraband," Liu Qingge says, thinking, Shi Qinghuan died defending their sect. Liu Qingge died in a cave like a drunken madman, and the Drunken Immortal died in battle. "There's an underground market for illicit goods on these Peaks, you know. I confiscated this from some of my disciples who were getting drunk in the barracks."

"Ah, I see," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, eyeing the bottle dully.

Liu Qingge shakes his head and hands him the cup. "So. The Old Palace Master," he says as clearly as his slightly numb tongue allows, "is after Shen Qingqiu. And Shen Qingqiu is an idiot."

He then proceeds to explain what he'd figured out, what he'd managed to wrangle out of their beautiful idiot. Yue Qingyuan's dumbfounded expression tightens into discomfort at the sound of a potential future assault, and his shaky hand grows steadier as he drinks.

"So," Liu Qingge concludes. "He's after Shen Qingqiu and this whole - Human Cauldron reputation thing. It's a way to get at him. Get Shen Qingqiu out of the way and create a vulnerability - and probably take advantage of him while he's at it."

"Huan Hua Palace has been especially keen to get time with him," Yue Qingyuan says distantly, lost in thought. "Do you - do you think the Old Palace Master is the one who…?"

"I don't know - and hell if Shen Qingqiu will tell us. But I don't think so," Liu Qingge admits.

"No?"

"If it was, he'd tell us," Liu Qingge says grimly. "He's protecting them, whoever it is. He sure at hell wouldn't protect the Old Palace Master."

Yue Qingyuan grimaces. "I had hoped I was imagining that," he mutters unhappily. "But you picked up on it too. Whoever it is, he… doesn't blame them."

And isn't that a damn mess. "I figure it's - not as simple as we hope. Maybe there was manipulation involved, curses, betrayal, misunderstandings, something."

"Another thing he won't explain," Yue Qingyuan muses.

"Tch," Liu Qingge agrees. "He told us a lot, though. More than I thought he would." And the tale was even more convoluted than he'd been expecting.

Yue Qingyuan hums in agreement and takes another, rather desperate, drink. "He's trying," he says, sounding completely besotted and runs a hand over his face, smiling shakily. "He really is trying, isn't he?"

Liu Qingge scoffs at his rather hopeful tone of voice and takes a drink. Shen Qingqiu is a habitual liar, so… being that truthful probably didn't come easy for him. Never mind his Heart Demons. Still…"Do you believe him?" Liu Qingge had to ask.

"I do. I saw it," Yue Qingyuan murmurs, a pained expression coming to his face as he drops his hand. "Versions of him from that future. How someone ruined him over many, many years, taking bits and pieces, carving him out, until he was barely even alive…"

The Sect Leader's voice fades away, and Liu Qingge breathes in and out slowly, staring at his cup. Shen Qingqiu, the war, Huan Hua Palace, the future, Luo Binghe, everything… it's a lot, and not even everything Shen Qingqiu is hiding. 

Because I wanted to save you… Liu-shidi… you died.

"The Old Palace Master isn't going to stop trying to go after him," Liu Qingge says, lowering his cup. "He's identified Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's weakest point. If he can't get Shen Qingqiu kidnapped, he might try to get him arrested, like he did in the future."

"Mn," Yue Qingyuan agrees quietly.

"Marriage would offer him protection. As a single man, even a Peak Lord, he's vulnerable. He needs a family to support him and back him up."

Yue Qingyuan almost whines at that, covering his eyes with one palm. "Liu-shidi is unexpectedly shameless," he says with a feeble laugh.

"No, you're just a coward," Liu Qingge mutters, taking a drink and hoping it will cover his red cheeks. "How long have you been courting Shen Qingqiu, Sect Leader? It's been years, anyway."

"It's not - that is to say - I wasn't courting him precisely -"

"Half of everything he owns was a gift from you. Don't deny it," Liu Qingge snorts. "Your forbearance is admirable, but it's enough now. He needs protection only proper marriage will give him."

It's definitely a whine this time. "I don't want him to marry me for protection," the much respected and feared Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect bemoans. "Besides, he didn't - the way he said it..."

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes. "What?"

"He said it like it was a joke. You wouldn't believe what Liu-shidi said," Yue Qingyuan mumbles into his palm. "Like it was ridiculous."

Oh. Liu Qingge frowns. "Well, it - wasn't. I wasn't joking."

Yue Qingyuan sighs and looks at him. "What if he really doesn't want to, Liu-shidi?"

That honestly hadn't even crossed Liu Qingge's mind. Shen Qingqiu is stupidly complicated at times, yes, and his mind is so twisted that talking to him is sometimes like trying to make your way through a labyrinth. But, all these years - and now the man doesn't want them?

"It's one of his - you know," Liu Qingge waves a hand. "He's lying, obviously."

Yue Qingyuan looks mournful at that. "Why would he lie about this - if he does, doesn't that mean that he doesn't want to?"

Liu Qingge gives the man a dubious look, realising belatedly that he's never seen Yue Qingyuan drink wine. How low is his tolerance? Isn't Liu Qingge supposed to be the more drunk one here? "That's stupid. If he doesn't want to marry us, why is he stringing us along?"

Yue Qingyuan shrugs helplessly. "It's part of his plans? He has so many plans."

Making a face at that, Liu Qingge drains his cup and sets it down. "Did he say he didn't want to marry you? Maybe it's you who doesn't want to get married."

Yue Qingyuan looks affronted, straightening his back. "Of course I do!"

"Well - good then!" Liu Qingge answers, and waves a hand. "Marry him!"

"But he said -" Yue Qingyuan stops and draws a shuddering breath. "I wasn't the one who asked - you did that."

Liu Qingge rolls his eyes. "Yes, because you would've never gotten around to it," he says. "And apparently, neither would Shen Qingqiu. You're both idiots."

That seems to cheer Yue Qingyuan up somewhat. "And Liu-shidi?"

Liu Qingge waves a hand. "I'll be the second husband. It's fine."

Yue Qingyuan gives him a dopey smile at that. "Liu-shidi will make a wonderful second husband for Shen-shidi."

"Ugh," Liu Qingge answers, leaning back and trying not to look as pleased as he feels. "You'll - do alright. As the first," he says clumsily.

Yue Qingyuan nods, smiling a little wider - before it falls again. "But what if he doesn't -"

"... Are you kidding me?"

It turns out Yue Qingyuan is not only a lightweight, but he's an extremely mopey drunk. Liu Qingge would definitely not be making the mistake of drinking with him again, that's for sure. 

Shen Qingqiu goes into seclusion before the matter of the proposal can actually be addressed. It has the flavour of Shen Qingqiu's typical avoidance and deflection, but, as far as Liu Qingge is concerned, that's fine. It's not like anything could happen while Shen Qingqiu's cultivation is in such a state. Hopefully, once he came out, though… he would have a straight answer for them.

"And Gege is really fine marrying a man like that?" Liu Mingyan asks, not looking up from the veil she's adding some decorative stitching to.

Liu Qingge narrows his eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've been troubled by Shen Qingqiu's secrets and lies," his sister comments reasonably. "He's still keeping secrets. Doesn't it bother you?"

Liu Qingge frowns at that. He can't say it doesn't, but… "If I become his husband, shouldn't he trust me more?"

"He should. It doesn't mean he will," Liu Mingyan says meaningfully. "A marriage built on lies is the one that will tumble because of them."

"Tch," Liu Qingge scoffs and looks away.

"Gege… why do you want to marry him?" Liu Mingyan asks, setting the sewing down in her lap. She looks a little worried. "You've never been interested in marriage before. You've always been against it."

"Hm. It's - Shen Qingqiu is different," Liu Qingge mutters. "He makes me…"

"Feel things?" his sister asks with arched brows, amused tilt to her head.

Liu Qingge presses his lips together, not sure how to put it. Shen Qingqiu is distractingly beautiful, and his mind is twisted and brilliant all at once. He's stupid and weak and alluring and makes Liu Qingge want to protect him. Makes him want to touch him gently. And even the lies...

"He makes me grow. Beside him, I feel like I'm getting stronger," Liu Qingge murmurs. "He makes me better. Makes me want to do better. And I think I do the same for him."

No one had ever accused him of being too smart - before Shen Qingqiu. 

"Oh," Liu Mingyan hums. "Gege, that's…"

"I think if - if he stopped putting up barriers, we could become something great," Liu Qingge admits. "Him and Yue Qingyuan. Him and me."

"And you don't mind Yue Qingyuan being the first pick? Cultivators usually prefer monogamy. Cultivation partners are hard to share."

Liu Qingge shrugs. "Shen Qingqiu needs multiple cultivation partners. I don't even know if two are enough," he muses. "I don't mind it."

Liu Mingyan shakes her head. "You're weird, Gege, but if that's what you want," she says, her eyes softening. "I really think you really need to sort out all the secrets first, before you can even think of getting my blessings. But… if it's what will make you happy..."

Happy?

Liu Qingge turns that thought in his head. Happiness hadn't ever really featured in his future plans. Would it make him happy?

He thinks of Shen Qingqiu's hand in his hair, the gently amused, "oh, Liu-shidi", and thinks of the way his heart stalled. How whenever Shen Qingqiu smiles or laughs, something within him goes quiet and clear, like murky water suddenly running crystalline and fresh, see-through all the way to the bottom. He thinks of the years he could've spent dead. He thinks of Ascension as Shen Qingqiu's husband, never changing. Except no, not unchanging. He would change, beside Shen Qingqiu, he would always keep on changing. He would never stop growing.

And Liu Qingge thinks that yes, he could be happy with that.

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu tries to continue cultivating for another week, before he has to admit that the distraction is too great and he just can't concentrate. What Liu Qingge had said, what Yue Qingyuan had repeated - the words, they haunt him. Like circling birds hovering constantly over his head, they will not leave him alone.

You should marry.

What? What even - where did that come from? Sure, there was - something - between them all, but - but - marriage?

Ridiculous. No matter what Yue Qingyuan felt or what Liu Qingge thought, that was - Shen Qingqiu wasn't - they weren't even - there was no romance? Surely? Certainly, they were close, and Shen Qingqiu was grateful for it! He'd come to rely on them both, and he enjoyed their company, and as far as he knew it was the same for them. And, of course, there was their - stupid - quest for Luo Binghe for his sake, which was ultimately so unnecessary - but - but!

Marriage?

Getting up from his meditation mat, Shen Qingqiu takes a moment to stretch and pace, thinking about performing the steps of the Salutation of the Full Moon and then deciding his heart isn't in it. He putters around the room for a moment, picking up manuals and then putting them down again, his mind refusing to settle.

Sure, he had… figured out that whatever was going on, it wasn't what he'd thought. Shen Qingqiu with only Shen Yuan's perceptions and assumptions got so many things wrong, and this was the major one. Luo Binghe's harem - hah. As if Yue Qingyuan truly cared about Luo Binghe as a person. As if Liu Qingge would ever - no. Their interest had nothing to do with Luo Binghe as a person. Sometimes they barely even saw him as a person at all - rather than a thing of utility, of purpose. The Cure for Shen Qingqiu's poisoning. It was really… rather mean, in a way.

Shen Qingqiu distracts himself by wondering what Luo Binghe might be up to right now, rather desperately trying to turn his mind from the distraction. Is Luo Binghe out of the Endless Abyss by now? Surely not - in the original it had taken him years, and even in the previous save it must've taken a good long while. Shen Qingqiu isn't exactly certain how long, though - when had Luo Binghe left the Abyss and gone to the Demon Realm instead? He joined Human Realm early, and his conquest of the demonic realm was far from complete - but Mobei-Jun already served him, so he must've made some strides, and -

Obviously you should take Yue Qingyuan as your first husband - you should've done it years ago.

Liu-shidi, you brute, why did you have to do this to him?!

Shen Jiu had loved Yue Qingyuan in his own way. It had been a… very confused feeling though, twisted in with spite and guilt and anger and bitterness. There was something repulsive and something possessive about it - how Shen Jiu wanted to send Yue Qingyuan running and how he wanted him to never leave him again, damn it. Betrayal and grief all packed into a beaten thing one couldn't have called love, even as a joke. But it had been love. Shen Jiu had never cared about anyone as much as he cared about Yue Qingyuan. But he'd hated him too.

And Liu Qingge, ah… as mad and frustrated as he makes Shen Qingqiu, as much as Shen Jiu had loathed him, he's the harbour for Shen Qingqiu's lost ship at sea. Something in him settles whenever Liu Qingge is near - something relaxes. A sort of oh, thank god, he's here feeling. Side effect of the many times Liu Qingge had helped him, had saved him, maybe. He has almost a pavlovian reaction to it now, even if he isn't in danger - with Liu Qingge there, he knows he's safe.

Which is stupid, because - because Liu Qingge is right now the source of most of his stress!

Groaning, Shen Qingqiu drags shaking hands through his hair and then makes a face. He'd been meditating and cultivating - or trying to - for several days without a wash, and this is far from the first time he wanted to pull out his hair. Damn the white hair for being so much softer and lighter than his original - it gets messier so much easier when it's not oiled properly. And right now it's in tangles.

Embracing another distraction from the distraction, Shen Qingqiu turns to the side table, where his mirror, combs and hair ornaments and ointments sit. Sitting down, he eases the hair crown out of his hair and eyes his own refection in the bronze mirror, the white hair in disarray, the shadows under his eyes, the flushed cheeks.

Marriage?

Well. He would make a damn pretty - uh - spouse. His hair would look really well with red, wouldn't it? He would look stunning. Even Shen Jiu would've been pleased by it. And Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, in red -

Shen Qingqiu reaches for the nearest comb and starts to angrily detangle his hair, trying to concentrate on the action alone and nothing else.

He'd make for a terrible spouse, though, wouldn't he? Especially to Yue Qingyuan. All the pain he's caused him, all the torment - all the trauma. Yue Qingyuan might want - might want it, sure, but that's because he's an idiot who doesn't know what's good for him. It's bad enough as it is, as they are - if they were together always? They'd ruin each other, surely. Shen Qingqiu would ruin what is left of Qi-ge.

And Liu Qingge - second husband, really, Liu-shidi? He should aim higher. And for someone else. You deserve better!

No, the whole thing is ridiculous. It couldn't ever work.

It's impossible.

It's -

Shen Qingqiu's hands slow down as his traitorous imagination, just for a moment, conjures up the sensation of someone standing behind him. Someone who could take the comb from his hands and brush his hair for him. There was time when Luo Binghe had sometimes done his hair for him, in another lifetime, when that sweet white lotus lived with him. Shen Qingqiu had luxuriated in it guiltily - he'd not indulged in it often for the sake of not pushing things, but every time he dared to… it was lovely.

And isn't that something to consider too? Luo Binghe! Shen Qingqiu can't get married when the matter of Luo Binghe is still unresolved, right? Who knows what the Protagonist would think! Even if he had slightly less cause to hate Shen Qingqiu this time - or so he hopes, god, does he hope so - Luo Binghe still might get… darkened in the Abyss, in the Demon Realm. There is Xin Mo and its influence to consider too - how it twisted Binghe's mind, made him angry, possessive, sad. If he harboured feelings for Shen Qingqiu, if he came out of that hell to find his beloved Shizun attached to another - two others, at that…?

Wouldn't he be sad? Wouldn't he feel…? 

Shen Qingqiu rests the comb in his lap for a moment, staring at his own reflection but not really seeing it. He instead saw in his mind's eye what Luo Binghe looked like, taller, stronger, older, no longer in Qing Jing Peak whites and greens, but in reds and blacks. In Jinlan city, and then later, five years later, after Shen Qingqiu's death and resurrection in the plant body… Luo Binghe grew up well. He grew up crooked, but he grew up very well indeed. Definitely taller and stronger than Original Luo Binghe, of the original timeline.

And he'd been so sad, so confused - so thrown by his Shizun's actions. Shen Qingqiu kept running away and hurting his disciple, who really only wanted to talk to him, be seen by him.

Shen Qingqiu… doesn't want to be the source of any more of Luo Binghe's hurts. Despite everything, despite his worry and Shen Jiu's fear and Shen Yuan's foreknowledge, he's just… so tired of hurting the people he loves.

So… clearly… he can't marry. Not before… not until Luo Binghe returns. Not until he knows for sure what Luo Binghe might want. Not just for his sake, but Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge too. He can't put that kind of target on their backs, not until he knows what consequences it might have.

And yet.

Setting the comb down, Shen Qingqiu leans forward, his elbows on the dressing table, frown marring his face.

He thinks of Yue Qingyuan's big warm hands, how they felt holding his own, how Yue Qingyuan would always try to rub some warmth into his fingers. He thinks of Liu Qingge scowling at him as he patted the man's head, how badly he wanted to do it again. How much easier it was to breathe with them around. How much harder it was to breathe calmly.

… fuck.

Shen Qingqiu angrily pins his hair up in a half-updo, and gets up. This is ridiculous - he needs to take his mind off this.

Taking a break from his seclusion this soon is probably not the best idea, but Shen Qingqiu does it anyway. Ming Fan at least is relieved to see him, even if it's so soon after his last check up. "This disciple hopes Shizun's cultivation is going well," he says, bowing.

"It's progressing," at a snail's pace currently, but it's progressing. Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. "Tell this master how his disciples are doing, Ming Fan."

They walk through the peak while Ming Fan runs down what little has happened since his last check up, Shen Qingqiu watching the disciples at work. There's a group of senior disciples working on their sword forms nearby, sitting down on meditation mats while their swords do the fighting for them in the air. Ning Yingying is painting by the viewing pavilion with a group of her shijies, and Shen Qingqiu decides not to go check up on their work, just in case it's something embarrassing. She looks better, though - she's laughing. She's recovering from Luo Binghe's absence.

"… partaking in a War Game against Wan Jian Peak in two week's time," Ming Fan continues, his expression that of excitement at the concept. "Bai Zhan Peak disciples will be acting as referees for it, just in case - Wan Jian Peak disciples are very skilled, after all. Some disciples from Qian Cao Peak will be present also, in case of injuries."

"Wei Qingqwei agreed to join the War Games at last? That's good," Shen Qingqiu hums. "His disciples are skilled, but rarely get practice against spiritual cultivators. How many of our disciples will be taking part?"

About half of them, if that, it turns out. Though it is exciting, it's not as exciting as it used to be in the beginning, it seems. The War Games have lost their novelty as time has gone on - they're no longer this exciting new thing, but have settled into, well… a sport, really. Which is good, it's what Shen Qingqiu hoped would happen. Those who are into it are very much into it, and those who aren't give the War Games a pass. The majority of the benefits have already been collected.

The unity inside Qing Jing Peak is much higher than it used to be, for one. There's likely still some bullying and posturing, that couldn't really be avoided, but as far as Shen Qingqiu can tell, there's none of the sort of maltreatment the original Luo Binghe suffered. The cooperation between peaks is higher too, going by what he's hearing - for Bai Zhan Peak disciples to act as referees … heh. There was a time they couldn't have done something like that without falling into the temptation of attacking others. Liu Qingge's students have become peacekeepers. Who would've thought it.

There's still more that could be done, there. There are peaks that haven't been yet included into the games and who haven't seen the spotlight as it were. The lower peaks should be included more in the dealings of the higher peaks - especially so, since they do much of the inter-sect-production. Granted, alchemists, astrologers and artificers might not be quite as interested in this kind of cooperation and teamwork, their work is often individual and involved and couldn't be set aside at the drop of a hat. 

But still… something should be arranged. Maybe, one day, they should hold a party or something, inviting disciples from all the peaks.

… like a wedding.

Shen Qingqiu almost groans out loud at that thought and just barely stops himself from running a hand down his face. Damn it.

"Shizun?" Ming Fan asks, worried.

"Never mind, Ming Fan," Shen Qingqiu sighs. "Have we had visitors from other peaks, outside the War Games?" Qing Jing Peak libraries are open for all the peaks, so it happens sometimes, disciples coming in to do some research. It would be interesting to know if the visits have increased recently.

"Well," Ming Fan thinks about it. "There have been the usual Qiang Cao disciples checking references in the library, and there's a couple of Bai Zhan Disciples who visit for spars. Oh, and the Xian Shu Peak's head disciple visited not long ago. She attended a painting class with some of the senior disciples - I think she took away a painting manual too. There might have been more - this disciple can check the visitor records if Shizun would like."

"Have someone copy the last year and send them to the Bamboo House for my perusal," Shen Qingqiu decides. "I'm sure there's someone in need of a light punishment."

"Yes, Shizun," Ming Fan says with a nod. "Is Shizun concerned about anything specific?"

"Not as such. This master is only wondering if the cooperation between peaks has increased of late," Shen Qingqiu muses, shaking his head.

Ming Fan hums thoughtfully. "Should this disciple encourage more of it?" he asks. "It could be done, if Shizun thinks it should be done."

Shen Qingqiu gives his head disciple a pleased look. There was a time when Ming Fan might've taken the suggestion in the opposite way - asking him if he should begin barring others from the peak instead, anticipating Shen Qingqiu's jealous guardianship over Qing Jing Peak's power and territory. He really has grown well. "Yes, this master thinks it would be a benefit to the sect," he says. "So as long as no harm comes of it and no ill will is promoted, do encourage other peak's disciples to visit. These twelve peaks should be more united."

Especially with a war looming ahead.

"This disciple will see to it," Ming Fan promises. "He already has some ideas how to go about it. Would Shizun mind if we took this opportunity to invite other disciples to see the recent renovations - perhaps even use the bathhouse? There's been some interest about it, about other peak disciples making excursions to enjoy the baths..."

Shen Qingqiu hums. Huh. He hadn't even thought of that - of his peak as a sort of holiday destination for other peaks. That's… actually really good, isn't it? "This master has some ground rules to set - and rules for the bathhouse in general. We will have to consider the logistics of it carefully, but I think Ming Fan's idea has merit."

"Thank you, Shizun," Ming Fan nods with a pleased flush. "This disciple was thinking of opening one day in a week for such visits, and of charging a small fee for the pleasure. The baths do require maintenance, after all."

Hm. Ming Fan… might one day make a good Peak Lord, after all. Who would have thought it.

After a general check up on how everything is going, there's not much for Shen Qingqiu to do around the peak. His disciples, in preparation of his long seclusion, have everything already covered, and the peak works like a well oiled machine. So as long as nothing unusual happens, everything would function well enough on its own, with none of his input required.

As far as he knows, the issue of the Northern Demon Realm is also proceeding along the pre-planned tracks. Thankfully, it really seems slow going - the correspondence from the brothels indicate steady but unhurried movement in the north, with more cultivators spotted on the streets and taking rooms in the local inns, but aside from that things are still calm. The biggest thing so far is Tian Yi Overlook having acquired a run down monastery in the area, which they are planning to turn into a guard position, which is… well, a leap. It's a sign of the things to come.

Thankfully Shen Qingqiu has some insight into the things in the Demon Realm - Shang Qinghua had sent him a message, telling him that so far things are calm near the border. Demons, if they are even aware of the things happening in the Human Realm, aren't yet interested. Though even if they were, it wouldn't change things that much at the border - demons don't exactly build fortifications, not unless they have a ruler demanding it, and currently Northern Demon Realm is still without a proper Demon Lord. Mobei-Jun hadn't yet stepped up, and there was no sight of Luo Binghe as of yet.

There's time, Shen Qingqiu suspects. But then again, he'd thought that about Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang, and see where that got him.

"System," he says once back in the Bamboo House, not yet sealed. "You've been suspiciously quiet of late. Are there any missions concerning the Northern Demon Realm coming up?"

[Would you like to see your current active missions?]

"… Sure, yes. Show me my current active missions," Shen Qingqiu sighs and folds his arms, leaning back as a larger window opens before him.

[You have activated these missions:

Main Mission: Transformation of Proud Immortal Demon Way.

Story Mission: "Luo Binghe's Rise" is ??% complete.

Secret Mission: "Headcanon is Fanon Only until proven Canon!" is 95% complete!

Secret Mission: "Smoke and Daggers" is 53% complete

Secret Mission: "The Unorthodox Method" is 56% complete!

Bonus Mission: "Spillover" is 65% complete!

Bonus Mission: "Poem of the Bamboo Branch" is 30% complete!

Bonus Mission, "The Fallen Demon Lord" is 2% complete!]

Shen Qingqiu frowns a little, eying the windows. Hm. "That's it? Nothing for Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan?" he asks suspiciously. Considering everything that had been going on, the… situation that had been developing, he would've thought that System would be pushing him one way or the other with it. Did the plot want him to advance the romantic side plot or not?

[There are currently no missions involving characters Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan. You have option of buying Scenes and Side Missions from the Point Store and using these characters as companions. Would you like to open the point store?]

That's… strange. Isn't it strange? All things considered, shouldn't Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan really be more important than this? Sure, Luo Binghe is still the main character despite everything, he's still the Protagonist, but, Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan, they're… they're important too! Surely they should be included in the mission roster - surely there should be at least a bonus mission about them. Right?

Then again, in the previous go around, his and Luo Binghe's… thing… hadn't been in the mission roster either. The System awarded him points whenever Luo Binghe gained satisfaction, sure, and there were some rewards for doing… certain things. But the relationship, whatever it was, wasn't set in stone. He'd never thought about it, but for all the things the System does to guide him along - or lead him by the nose - that was one thing it didn't force him to do.

Though, then there was the Small Scenario Pusher that definitively did some pushing in that direction.

Running his fingers idly over his lips, Shen Qingqiu tries to figure out the logic of the mission structure, in relation to the main mission. What, really, is his purpose here? He'd never really stopped to think about it, but what did the System really gain from his involvement, aside from probably sadistic delight? If the damn thing even experienced that sort of thing. What was his, Shen Qingqiu's, utility to the System, the plot, and the world as a whole? To make the story more cohesive and logical? … why?

Shen Qingqiu thinks of Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu making a deal with the devil to change the past, and really…

"So there's nothing about the war against the Northern Demon Realm?" Shen Qingqiu clarifies slowly.

[As of right now, there are no other missions available.]

Should he take that as a good thing - or bad thing? Would the System spring any missions on him out of nowhere, with no time to prepare? Most likely. Probably better to prepare anyway. He has almost 2000 B-points left after buying the Internal Forge, he could still get something… if he wanted to. Though would it be better to save the points for when he needed it?

[Reminder: You once instructed this System to make a note: Generic Aphrodisiac is available for 50 B-points. Would you like to buy Generic Aphrodisiac for 50 B-points?]

Scoffing with disgust, Shen Qingqiu swipes the window shut. Absolutely not, thank you very much!

He's completely messed up his circadian rhythm in his seclusion, it turns out. Sleeping when he felt like it, practising when he felt like it, meditating and cultivating every other moment - he'd lost track of the hours. By the time night comes on his little day off, he isn't tired at all. In fact, he's still feeling thoroughly restless. So, with the walls of his Bamboo House closing in, and his thoughts still a mad swirl, Shen Qingqiu steps out, bundled in a thick green robe, hugging himself against the night chill.

His peak is quiet, all the disciples asleep, the lanterns blown out, the braziers burned down low. It's getting late in the fall now, and it's getting colder and colder. Soon, there might even be snow. It doesn't always snow on Qing Jing Peak, and the snow rarely stays for long - but it happens every so often. As little he and cold go together, it's always lovely to see.

Quietly, Shen Qingqiu moves about the buildings, taking in the state of his peak.

The last evidence of the construction has been cleared away now, and the pathways have been fixed - they'd even finished replanting everything that had been uprooted. There is a new patch of bamboo planted in a spot in front of the bath house, and another beside it - it would cover the place up somewhat, creating a windbreak and shelter. Not far, there's a new clearing with a new stone lantern and freshly planted magnolia tree, carefully arranged to look pleasing as it grew older.

The new dormitory has also been enhanced with some careful gardening. It's been given a sort of back yard with what is clearly a meditation area - and Shen Qingqiu would've been blind to not see it was modelled after the backyard of the Bamboo House. Shen Qingqiu walks through it, basking in the elements - wood and earth, very pleasingly arranged. The senior disciples' work, clearly. Someone had already adopted it for their work too - he can feel the Qi lingering on the meditation stones, where they'd been cultivating.

The dormitory is still empty, as all the disciples already have their own beds in the older dormitories, and likely they hadn't dared to make new arrangements without his approval. It's been furnished and decorated, however - and quite pleasantly at that. All the rooms have beds and tables, and the dining hall has seating for every bed. Scrolls with poetry have been pinned to the walls in just the right places, and there is a large painting in the dining hall, of Cang Qiong Mountain as seen from a distance, with the sun setting behind it. Jiao Yun's work, it seems. She's become one of the better artists of the peak.

Shen Qingqiu moves on, examining the new lecture hall. Unlike the new dormitory, the lecture hall has already been put into use. There are tables arranged for the students and for the teacher, and on the sides there are new shelves, already filling up with books and scrolls. Going by the scroll hanging on the front, where the teacher stands, they're going through some of the more complicated classics - a senior class, working through the more demanding philosophy. On the side, there are some instruments laid against the wall, a pipa, erhu, a sheng… they must've been practising here, after class.

Shen Qingqiu checks the instruments to see how they've been maintained - the pipa needs some tuning, but aside from that, all the instruments are well cared for. He leaves them as they are, and tries to remember the last time he'd played anything. It has been a while - he's been… distracted.

The last stop on his late night walk is, of course, the bathhouse. It too has been fully furnished, decorated - and in use. The bathhouse rules won't be coming in too soon, Shen Qingqiu muses - the boy's side of the bathhouse is a bit of a mess and needs some cleaning, and the girl's side of the water is a little bit cloudy despite the cleaning seals inscribed on the bottom of the pools. They'd been going in with ointment or soap in their hair, and it had gotten mixed in with the water. Aside from that, it doesn't seem like anything too bad has happened yet. The feel of the Qi is calm and happy.

Planning a scroll of general rules - like washing before using the pools and putting everything away - Shen Qingqiu checks the private side and finds it also has seen some use. The hall masters, most likely - who thankfully knew to keep the place clean. The water is crystal clear and gently steaming in the darkness, and there's a shelf of fluffy towels, a rack of buckets and cleaning products, a bar of soap…

Shen Qingqiu doesn't hesitate for long before locking the door to make use of the facilities he'd so graciously donated to the peak. After so long in seclusion, it's damn well deserved. He hasn't been taking advantage of his investment nearly enough as it is.

Ah, it's even better than he remembered. Really, he did something great for his peak, hadn't he? He'd certainly left his mark.

Relaxing against the side of the pool, Shen Qingqiu sighs and lets his thoughts drift.

And, of course, they drift right back to Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan and the proposal.

Damn it all.

Letting his hands drop into the warm water with a splash, Shen Qingqiu sinks until he's up to his chin in the water, staring at the gently rippling surface resentfully.

He's… never really thought of marriage. As Shen Jiu, sure, occasionally - in that jealous way he sometimes thought about other people, and how nice it would be to have what they did. Cultivators rarely marry, though it's not a hard rule - for a cultivator to have a proper marriage, they need to marry their cultivation partner, and as lovely as that idea is… cultivators that find themselves a suitable partner like that are rare. And even if they do find another cultivator with whom their Qi matches and everything clicks, well, it's still the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way, isn't it? So either a tragedy would strike, someone would steal away one of the pair, or something other horrible would happen.

In hindsight - and with Shen Jiu's knowledge and experience along with Shen Yuan's meta knowledge, Shen Qingqiu can now tell - Dual Cultivation in this world is actually a bit of a crap shoot. Though it doesn't help that his main example is still Luo Binghe, who had to cultivate with literally hundreds of people or risk ruining his partners - his demonic Qi was that strong.

If… if Shen Qingqiu hadn't died, that first time… could he have done it again? Take that Qi into himself, and Dual Cultivated with Luo Binghe again in his original body? The plant body could take it, it had an abundance of Qi, but even then it wasn't exactly pleasant. As Shen Qingqiu, in his very human body… could he have done it another - er, a third time?

… yeah, probably not.

Right now he can't dual cultivate with anyone, so currently even thinking about it is a bit of a moot point - but one day, when he advanced his new methods further… well. Even then it would probably be a good idea to… to start with someone not apocalyptically strong.  Not that… Shen Qingqiu really thinks Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan just want that from him. Well, it probably features, but… Shen Qingqiu can't be called very available currently. At least… he doesn't think he's ever made himself seem available? Brothel going and Human Cauldron practice aside…

"Fuck," Shen Qingqiu mutters and dunks his head under the water, hoping it will clear it. It does not. Sighing, he leans back again, pushing his wet hair from his face. Lifting his gaze, Shen Qingqiu stares up into the night sky, the expanse of stars overhead. It's a very pretty night, at least. Too pretty for his anxious thoughts.

He's not even gay. Right?

… yeah, okay, that excuse doesn't hold water at all anymore.

Shen Jiu had always been attracted to Yue Qingyuan, no matter how he denied it. And Shen Qingqiu had always thought Liu Qingge was unfairly beautiful. And, God, Luo Binghe had made his heart beat so fast at times, it felt like it would burst. Some of it was fear, sure, can't deny that, but… Luo Binghe had always been his favourite character, and he grew up to be so, so… he grew up great. But all of that was - it was…

It's awkward, so awkward, thinking of any of them like that. It's like a sensation felt through curtains, almost, everything muffled. Some of that was his own ignorance and his admittedly self-inflicted obliviousness and denial. Okay, a lot of it is because of denial. It really is a skill, one he'd definitely mastered. He'd been so busy fearing for his life and about the future, that he hadn't ever let himself even see the other options, never mind actually considering them at length. And then there's the libido suppression too, that's probably also causing some issues. Shen Qingqiu is self-aware enough now to know his own reaction to anything sexual is a bit… messed up probably. But something… romantic? Or domestic…?

He'd… never even thought of something like that. It just… wasn't something any part of him ever expected to get. Shen Jiu, Shen Yuan and Shen Qingqiu, they all expected to die alone, always. And Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan had, they'd both died alone, even if their circumstances were vastly different. There'd never really been a moment when they had expected anything different.

Squinting at the sky, Shen Qingqiu rolls that thought in his head until he can no longer deny it.

He's been more or less alone for most of his life. Both his lives, all his lives - always at arm's length, either by his own efforts or those around him. Shen Jiu in his self-imposed isolation of contempt and cynicism, Shen Yuan the modern hermit who almost never left his apartment for anything - never daring to even try getting close enough to someone to let them in. The concept of having someone that close is utterly foreign. But…

Isn't it a bit… lonely?

With that thought sitting like a weight in his gut, Shen Qingqiu gets out of the pool, sending a flicker of Qi into the water to clean away any impurities. The air is cold as he rinses his body and hair, and it only makes him more awake and alert as he does his best to dry up before heading back home.

It's still quiet, maybe even quieter. The moon came out while he was bathing, showing just past the mountain peak. Above, Qiong Ding Peak is lit by only a few lanterns, barely visible in the shadows. Somewhere far below is Bai Zhan Peak, and it never rested, from what Shen Qingqiu knew. The disciples trained day and night as it suited them.

Shen Qingqiu heads inside, and quietly seals his house again, placing seals onto the doors to quell any energies from coming in or going out. Under the security of that seal, he sighs, resting his head against the door for a moment, breathing in and out.

The Bamboo House is bigger now, and it feels that way too. He'd added extra rooms, expanded the main hall into a proper study hall. One day, when Shen Qingqiu passed, whichever way he did pass, the Bamboo House could be turned into another study hall, for quiet, private research maybe. Or maybe it would become a guest house for visiting cultivators, looking to partake in the famed hot baths of Qing Jing Peak. Wouldn't that be something?

Right now it just feels empty, and Shen Qingqiu misses Luo Binghe more than he has in a long while. His white lotus, or the black lotus he became, or any other version. Whatever Luo Binghe would come out of the Abyss this time. For so long Shen Qingqiu hadn't dared himself to think about him, and now…

Everything he had done so far was because of Luo Binghe. It was for his own survival, sure, to prevent hopefully a myriad of terrible futures both for him, but for Luo Binghe too. Even now, thinking about what Liu Qingge had said, how Yue Qingyuan had looked at him, Shen Qingqiu's first thought was of Luo Binghe. What would Luo Binghe think, coming out of the Endless Abyss, how would he react?

Shen Qingqiu's hands clench into fists.

Is it really such a crime… to want something for himself, for once?