Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, now you ask me for a card you want.” Illumi looked down at the cards in his hand and back up at Hisoka. He had never played this game before. It was supposed to be a fish game. Yet he saw no fish, just cards.

“I don’t know what card I want, I want fish right? That’s the point of this game.” Hisoka chuckled with his signature smirk plastered on his face.

“No, no dear, you want four cards with the same number. You have to ask me for a card you want to see if I have it. And if you’re lucky enough I will~” His voice was always light as if he was on the verge of either laughing or singing.

Illumi looked back down at his cards.

“Two’s.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any two’s?” Illumi signed, unamused with being forced to say a complete sentence.

“No dear~ Go fish~” Illumi stared back up at the jester, eyes empty pools of black.

Ah, here is where the fish come in. Illumi had thought. He stood up, leaving his cards on the table, and walked to the door.

“Illu dear, where are you going?” Hisoka looked up at him, smirking as if he was in on some joke.

“Fishing.” Illumi clipped.

“Wait, wait!” Hisoka said as Illumi started to open the door. Illumi looked back over to Hisoka. “You aren’t supposed to actually fish, just pick up a card from the deck.”

“Oh.” Illumi sat back down and picked up his cards. They continued playing.

Illumi had been staying at the magician's house more and more recently. Ever since Hisoka had gotten his apartment on the 200th floor of Heaven’s Arena, Illumi would use it as a safe house, leaving things in the spare bedroom until it officially became Illumi’s bedroom. Hisoka didn’t mind, he liked the company. Especially since it was Illumi. The assassin fascinated the jester. He is the only person in Hisoka’s mind that is worth the time.

The assassin was almost always on missions or training, but in the in-between times, he would steal time at Hisoka’s. He didn’t really know why he did. But he decided not to dwell on it, it wasn’t affecting his work and his parents didn’t mind so he ignored it.

“Do you have any matches tomorrow?” Illumi asked as they cleaned up the game. Hisoka had won as per usual with these card games that Illumi had never played. Hisoka looked up at Illumi, he usually didn’t bother asking about his day-to-day when it didn’t concern him.

“No, why do you have plans with me?~”

Illumi’s face didn’t change from its usual stoic expression.

“I have a job tomorrow, and I am allowed a couple of casualties of bodyguards. I am offering them to you.” He stated. Illumi knew how much Hisoka loved a good fight.

“Aw for me~” Hisoka smiled his Cheshire grin. “You’re too kind~”

Illumi gave him an unamused glare. “We leave tomorrow at 6 to catch our flight.”

It was moments like these that Hisoka knew Illumi really cared, or at least a little bit. Although he would deny it to his grave.

Hisoka had met Illumi when he was fifteen. Illumi was eleven at the time and he had just finished a job that Hisoka had stumbled into.

Illumi stood with golden pins between his fingers, the dead body of his target laid at his feet still warm with a former life.

“Oooh, look what we have here~” Illumi turned to look at the voice. He had not sensed the person before, they must be powerful. It was a boy a little older than himself. He had candy cane hair and a painted star on one of his cheeks and a teardrop on the other. It was an odd-looking boy.

It was such a clean kill, especially for someone so young. Hisoka could sense that this kid already knew some nen. The kid's hair was a deep dark black that reached a bit past his shoulders and his eyes were massive black holes, yet there was still some emotion hidden in them. He looked up at Hisoka curiously, his head tilted to the side, considering. Yet he did not cower or fear him. Intriguing, Hisoka thought.

“What a lovely kill~ I would have gone for something a little more dramatic though, makes things interesting.”

“That would be unnecessary.” The boy stated simply.

“I suppose. Name's Hisoka, what’s yours?”

“This is also unnecessary.”

“Hmm?” Hisoka questioned. The kid's voice was flat and emotionless. Hisoka was growing more and more fond of him. He wanted to fight him. It would be glorious.

“We will never meet again, there is no reason for me to know your name, nor a reason for you to know mine.”

“Then how will we be friends?”

“We won’t. Goodbye. I must return I have finished my job.” An assassin. Hisoka’s eyes sparkled, this would be fun.

“I’ll find you again, little assassin. Mark my words!”

Illumi ignored the boy and continued on home. He needed to report to his father.

Hisoka did find him, again and again. Eventually, Illumi relented and allowed them to be acquaintances. Hisoka was useful after all, especially on some missions. Illumi’s parents did not seem to mind.

Chapter Text

The job was done. It was quick and simple, rather boring if Hisoka had anything to say. They had even made it to dinner back at home. Hisoka sat at the dinner table twirling his fork on the table, holding up his chin with his free hand. He shifted his gaze over to Illumi who seemed to be stewing over something on his phone. He turned back towards his bowl which was once filled with rice topped with roasted vegetables and chicken but was now empty. He looked over at his partners, full. Just like he predicted. He let out a huff of air and looked back up to Illumi with his yards of flowing black hair.

“You doing okay over there?” He asked. Illumi shifted his gaze over Hisoka and back down to his phone.

“I’m perfectly fine.” He responded.

“What’s so interesting?” He mused. It was a bit odd. Illumi rarely focused so much on the device, usually only for work, but even then it was a quick message here or there. Nothing like this.

“Killua’s birthday is coming up.” He declared in way of explanation, setting his phone to the side and finally lifting his fork to work on his own dinner.

“Ilu, I know you love him, but I really don’t think he will want to see you.” Endlessly dark eyes trailed up to meet golden ones.

“I know.” Was all he said, eating some more of his food before hastily getting up. Hair flowing effortlessly behind him. He placed the half-eaten bowl in the fridge for later, knowing Hisoka would have a field day if he threw out so much food. Hisoka trailed behind him setting his in the dishwasher and making his way over to the couch. Illumi settled in next to him after a moment setting his head on Hisoka’s shoulder. Hisoka ran his nails through Illumi’s endless hair.

“I was thinking of sending him something, but I don’t think he’ll appreciate it.” Illumi gave up. “I was considering asking Kalluto to do it instead, it might be received better.”

“Hmm, maybe. He does hate you after all.” Illumi looked up at Hisoka's eyes revealing nothing as always.

“Yes, that is correct.” Illumi tucked his legs underneath him, leaning his weight heavily into Hisoka, although he didn’t much mind. It took Hisoka years to simply touch the assassin. He relished in the fact that Illumi now trusted him enough to do this.

Hisoka frowned slightly. He knew how much Illumi’s family meant to him, especially Killua, but you really can’t blame Killua for hating the person who tortured him for most of his life. Illumi had a strange way of showing his love, borderline, or probably even fully, obsessive.

“What would you even send him?”

“I don’t know.” Illumi tapped his finger on his chin, looking up at the ceiling. “Maybe chocolate or something. He has always loved sweat things.”

They stayed there for a moment in silence before Illumi unfolded himself and stood up. Heading towards his room.

“Goodnight Hisoka.”

“Goodnight, love.”

Illumi seemed a little down in the morning. Although it was hard to tell. Hisoka whipped up some pancakes in the kitchen as Illumi occupied him with drinking a coffee with poison mixed in. He had stored vials of the stuff in one of the cupboards, much to Hisoka’s dismay.

“You can’t really blame him, you know? You did torture him for most of his life.” Hisoka stated, breaking the silence as they ate breakfast.

“I didn’t.” Hisoka’s eyebrows creased. What? was all he could think. This didn’t make any sense, but Illumi wasn’t a liar.

“Illu dear, I think you are going to have to explain.”

“I never tortured my brother. I would never lay a hand on my family.” He stated simply as if he made sense.

“Why does everyone think you did then?” Hisoka questioned, not really understanding where this conversation was going. Illumi was unpredictable a lot of the time, but having known him for so long, Hisoka thought that he was at least a little easier to read.

Illumi still sat looking at what remained of his breakfast, not giving anything away.

“I made him think that.” That did not answer any of Hisoka’s questions that were swarming at the front of his mind.

“And why would you do that dear?~” He urged, hoping for a bit of clarity.

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

“Very well.” Although he was an assassin, Illumi was terrible at lying, he was honest to a fault. If he needed to he would hold back information, but as long as you asked you would get a response. Often, that meant you would get an ‘I can’t answer that,' but you would always know. It was one thing Hisoka liked about Illumi.

They went over to the couches and sat down. Hisoka waited for Illumi to speak. Sometimes it took him a moment to gather his thoughts. Every word he said was always calculated, so much so that he often spoke like a robot.

“My father trained him, trained us together. The new heir was always to be trained by the former heir in order to make them the strongest. As the eldest, I was trained with him. Honestly, training wasn’t that bad, but Killua started to resent my father, which was becoming problematic and would have been problematic when he took over. My father couldn’t have that and he got frustrated. Fast forward a few years, father had enough of Alluka and Nanika, our sisters, and decided to have them killed.” Illumi paused for a moment. Hisoka just watched him, curious as to what will happen next. It was kind of making sense to him, but so far nothing is how anything is. “I made a deal with my father that I would put a pin in Killua’s head so that he would think I trained him in exchange for father keeping Alluka and Nanika alive. Although he did lock them up.” Illumi sighed. “Later, I also made him forget Alluka and Nanika and not face any opponent stronger. This was a bit selfish of me, but it was so difficult trying to deal with him fighting to try and get them.”

“Didn’t he take out the pin while fighting those ants?”

“One of them, that’s how he remembered our sisters, but the other one is deep in the back of his neck.” Illumi said pointing to the spot on his own, “forgetting someone is a lot easier than altering memories, I needed it to reach further into his brain.” Hisoka hummed. It sort of did make sense in a twisted Zoldyck way.

“I’m just surprised that your father would let him go after all of that.” Something almost akin to mirth crossed across Illumi’s face as he tapped his chin.

“Yeah, that might have been me too.” He said shyly. “I also put a needle in my father’s head to give my siblings more freedom.”

There was silence for a moment. Hisoka blinked up at Illumi. Hisoka did not know much about Illumi’s father, but he did know that he was quite powerful. Most likely more powerful than Hisoka himself, which was a rare occurrence. He couldn’t fathom how Illumi had managed that.

“What?! How did you… What?”

“Ah well,” Illumi clasped his hands together, “After Killua ran away the first time, father was furious, and when we were training, he let his guard down for a moment and I managed to sneak the needle into his head. He’ll probably kill me if he ever finds out.” He added a little quieter.

Hisoka still had some questions.

Chapter Text

“Here I managed to get you this.” Young Illumi said holding up a plastic cartridge containing the newest game that Milluki had been trying to get a hold of for the last couple of months. Illumi was barely seven years old and had just come back from a mission. Silva had started his training early so that Illumi could take over jobs while he trained the heir. He found the store in a window front and remembered how Milluki complained to him that their parents wouldn’t let him have it. 

Their parents never wanted them to have any passions other than killing. Illumi loved that his brother loved something though and wanted to foster it. It always intrigued him how someone could be so passionate about something. He couldn’t fathom it. He knew he would never have such a passion. When he had seen the game he had to get it. Illumi would often sit in his brother’s room when he had time off and watch him click away on his keyboard, animations blurring the screen. Illumi did not understand what was happening. Sometimes Milluki would explain, but it just went over his head. Milluki never complained about him being there so he never stopped. 

“Really? How did you manage that?” 

“I saw it while working.” He stated simply. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

Milluki sat in his chair, looking at the stack of games piled up next to his computer. He had finished all of them, and should probably get rid of them by now, but he couldn’t. Illumi had gotten him almost all of them throughout the years. He still brought him games whenever he came back home. 

Illumi was due home soon for training, and he would probably bring him another game. Although Milluki would rather him stay away. 

Illumi was known to be a cold apathetic person, but Milluki knows he wasn’t always that way. Milluki knows everything that goes on in the house. Not just because he can see all the security cameras from his little corner of the house, but also because he was always here and his family barely paid attention to him. 

He knows that Illumi lost the glint in his eyes when he turned twelve. He knows that Illumi stuck a pin in their father's head, he knows he stuck a pin in Killua’s too. He knows how Illumi visits Alluka and brings her toys. He knows how Killua used to ask him how he can get stronger, and how Illumi would train him with kind words and treats. He knows that Illumi saved Kalluto. He knows that Illumi always takes the blame when someone gets in trouble. He always did. There are things that even Milluki doesn’t know though. 

He doesn’t know if Illumi remembers why he cares. 

He doesn’t know what happened to Illumi. 

He doesn’t know how to stop Illumi from breaking. 

Killua is gone now, he took Alluka with him too. Kalluto followed closely behind, joining the spiders. In Silva’s eyes, these are all failures. Losing three children. Milluki still functioned how he was supposed to. He was the tech behind each mission. A position Illumi had bargained for him to stop his training. Illumi still functioned, too, like a machine. Silva wouldn’t stand for all these failures though. Milluki knew this too. The ball was going to drop sooner rather than later. And Milluki knew Illumi would shield him from the blast. 

He doesn’t know if Illumi can take another hit though. 

Selfish, selfish, selfish Milluki thought. All of them. He wondered whether any of them knew what Illumi had given them. He wondered if they cared how much they hurt him. 

Milluki shoveled some more chips into his mouth. Masticating them between his teeth. 

Milluki also knew he couldn’t do anything. 

Chapter Text

Hisoka wasn’t there when Illumi woke up. He was off probably fighting someone or going grocery shopping or something. Illumi wouldn’t know nor would he ask. 

Illumi didn’t have anything planned for the day. No jobs were given to him, no orders. He was left fumbling around the apartment stuck in his head. He knew Hisoka would hate this monotony. Maybe he did too? He didn’t know. He thought back to Hisoka and wondered what he would do when he had downtime. Fight someone, probably. But Illumi couldn’t do that. He would play with cards sometimes, building them up into little towers. Illumi didn’t know how. Milluki would always play video games or research new dolls to add to his collection. He thought that maybe Killua would go play in the yard with Alluka. Kalluto would create masterpieces out of thin sheets of paper. 

Illumi didn’t know what he would do. Normally he did nothing, just sat there like a robot waiting for an order. He probably would have done this today as well but there was something missing. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he could feel it. Something in his chest alerted him to this forgotten piece of information. He was clueless as to what it could be. 

He counted his needles. They were all still there, glimmering without a speck of dirt or blood on them. He checked his calendar, blank. He walked around the apartments and looked outside, nothing out of place. Everything was in place. Everyone was where they were supposed to be. 

Surely he would have found what he was missing by now. There was nowhere else to look, was there?

The door squeaked open and a familiar presence entered the room. Hisoka with his usual clown costume came waltzing in with a smile spread across his face carrying brown paper bags overflowing with food. 

“I’m home~ did you miss me?~” He asked, not really expecting a reply, as he drifted into the kitchen and began putting his haul away in their designated locations. 

He could feel Illumi waiting at the entrance of the small kitchen watching him. It was a bit odd, normally Illumi would wait in the other room. Or he would say something if he needed to. 

Hisoka looked up at the assassin. He furrowed his brows, his lips tugged downwards uncontrollably. Illumi’s eyebrows were creased ever so slightly that most wouldn’t notice. His lips were parted just a tiny bit more. His hair hung down heavily over his shoulders as if it was weighed down by some invisible force. 

“Illumi dear, what is it?” Hisoka asked. His voice was refreshingly normal. 

Illumi didn’t answer. He turned away and walked out the front door far away from Hisoka. 

There was something wrong with Illumi, the assassin knew this because when Hisoka walked through that door the missing piece was found. 

But this couldn’t be right. People couldn’t be missing pieces. Especially people that were not Zoldyck’s. 

Illumi found the nearest patch of dirt outside and buried himself deep within the soil. 

Chapter Text

Illumi walked into Alluka’s room, heavy metal doors slammed behind him. 

“Illu-ni!” Alluka smiled, hopping over to Illumi and hugging his legs. 

Illumi patted her head, unsure exactly what to do. “Hello, Alluka.” He stated simply in his usual monotonous voice. Alluka was used to his blankness. She could not recall a time when he was any different, but she knew that he cared. “I brought you another doll, you said you wanted one with purple hair right?” He handed her the small doll that did indeed have purple hair and a beautiful blue dress. 

“Yes! Thank you Illu-ni!” She hugged the doll to her chest and spun around.

“How are you liking the dress, does it work okay?” Illumi asked her. 

“It’s perfect! I love it!” 

“Good, good.” Illumi sat in the middle of the floor. Alluka joined him. “Is it okay if we play a different game today?” Alluka looked up at him with big blue eyes. They held so much life and love in them. Illumi always wondered how. 

“Mmhm! What game?” 

“We are going to play an acting game, but you must keep it a secret alright?” 

“Okay!” 

“Here, you remember how to do these right?” He held up a piece of paper with a bunch of scribbles that did not seem to resemble any language or any number system. 

“Yes, yes I do!” 

“Great, that’s good.” He handed her the paper. “Killua’s going to come and see you very soon.” She gasped, a smile stretched across her face. It had been so long since she had seen him. She did miss him so much, but Illumi often told her stories about him and his adventures, and she knew that he was having fun. She was glad. She squealed at the thought of seeing her brother again. “Yes, Killua’s going to come and we are going to play this game. Read this letter, but don’t let anyone see it, not even Killua, okay? Keep it hidden.” 

“Why?” 

“It’s just part of the game, okay? The whole family is going to play, including me, I’ll be playing too. The letter will tell you everyone’s roles and what’s going on so you don’t get confused okay. It’ll be like you're a princess, and Killua’s going to come and rescue you.” 

“Where will you be?” 

“Read the letter.” She looked down at it, already trying to decipher the codes. It has been a while since she had seen the familiar cipher. “I have to go now, but I promise we will see each other soon, alright. In the game.” 

“Okay, goodbye.” She flung herself on her older brother, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. Illumi patted her back. “I love you.” She said. Illumi blinked slowly. She shouldn’t do that. 

“I love you too, Alluka. Tell Nanika I love her and miss her.” 

“Okay.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Brother, when are we going to see Aniki?”Alluka asked Killua. They were currently on their way to Kurapika and Leorio. 

“Aniki? Milluki?” 

“No, Illu-ni, when are we going to see Illu-ni, I miss him.” Killua looked up at her not really understanding what was going on. 

“We won’t be seeing Illumi.” He stated simply, turning back over to the window. 

“But why not? Nanika and I miss him, I thought we were going to see him once the game was over.” 

“Game?” Killua whispered to himself, he furrowed his brows for a moment before looking back up to his sister. “Illumi is not a good person, we aren’t going to see him again if I can help it.” Killua huffed, puffing out his chest and staring determinately out the window, trying to end this line of questioning. Alluka and Nanika were just too kind for this world. They would never understand that Illumi wants them dead. 

Alluka fiddled with the doll in her hand. It was a stuffed doll with a blue dress and long purple hair. Killua was confused at first as to how she obtained it but eventually realized that she stored it in the pocket of her dress when they had left the Zoldyck estate. Killua didn’t realize that dresses had pockets. Killua watched her with curious eyes as she turned the doll around and untied one of the seams that kept the doll together, pulling out a small piece of paper. She opened it up and read from it. 

“What is that?” Killua questioned her. She didn’t say anything for a moment, eyes focused on the words. She huffed slightly and started to fold the paper back up. 

“It’s nothing.” She sighed. 

“Wait, wait, let me see.” 

“You’re not supposed to see, Aniki said so.” Now he had to know. It could be something dangerous. It could contain a tracking device or something. Killua started to panic a bit, thinking of ways to get Alluka to give him the paper. He couldn’t just take it from her. He couldn’t do that to Alluka or Nanika. 

“Please, I promise I won’t tell.” She looked up at him. Her hair bobbles swinging slightly from side to side. She stayed silent for a moment. 

“I guess you can, the game’s over anyway.” She handed him the folded sheet of paper. It sagged slightly with wear. Killua took the paper from her, looking unfolding it again, and looked over it. 

“What is this? It’s just a bunch of squiggles.” He held the paper up to Alluka. She tilted her head and furrowed her brows. Her hands gripping the tiny doll in her lap. 

“You can’t read it?” 

Chapter Text

That was odd, even for Illumi. Hisoka figured he would give the assassin a little time to himself and then he would go search for him. He was pretty sure he knew where he was anyway. 

Hisoka was enraptured by Illumi even on their first meeting. He killed mercilessly and efficiently, and he was beautiful. After their initial, albeit sparse, first encounter, Hisoka would constantly look for ways to meet the assassin again. 

Illumi slowly became an integral part of his life. Hisoka did not think he could live without Illumi anymore. 

Although Illumi seemed emotionless to most people, he always thought about the people he cared for. Hisoka knows that Illumi thinks he is being sneaky with his affection, but really it was blatant if anyone took the chance to look. Illumi would let Hisoka tag along on missions when he knew Hisoka was getting bored, even if Illumi could easily do it himself. When Hisoka was really antsy he would listen patiently to all his rambling and complaints, giving slight nods and commentary to verify to Hisoka he was being listened to. Illumi kept the bowl of Bungee Gum that sat in the center of their kitchen island full, filling it up every time he came back for a mission. Sometimes, although rarely, when Hisoka was having a particularly bad day he would hug him. 

It was during these little moments that he knew Illumi loved him. Although Hisoka knew he would deny it fervently. 

Hisoka did love him too. More than anything or anyone. He was the only one that would stick by his side even though he was difficult. Even before people had a reason to leave him, before he became a killer, they disregarded him as if he was nothing. Not Illumi. 

And by god he was strong. Hisoka didn’t even know if Illumi realized just how strong he was. He had his parents constantly dragging him down, reprimanding him, demanding for him to be better, do better. He might even be stronger than Hisoka. They did spare often, both leaving bloodied and bruised, but Hisoka knows that he still has potential. He wasn’t even passionate about fighting, it was more of a reflex for him, orders. Illumi did love a good clean kill though. Hisoka believed it was because of the satisfaction of a job well done, but he wasn’t too sure about that one. 

Illumi was aloof. He hid his emotions so deep inside of him that to most he seemed as if he didn’t have any. Hisoka knew that this was because of his parents. He didn’t know how exactly, he only knew sparse details of his past, but he did know it had to be because of them. Hisoka would bet it was because they expected him to be some sort of machine instead of a person. And he knew Illumi would try his hardest to be what they wanted him to be. 

Hisoka found the plot of land that he knew Illumi was hiding in. Before he unofficially moved into Hisoka’s place, Illumi would bury himself during the night there. Hisoka also found the newly disturbed patch of dirt and sat down in the grass nearby. 

There was no reason to pull him out of the ground. If he needed to think or do, whatever, that was okay. Hisoka would give him the time. He did not bother using Zetsu, wanting Illumi to know that he was there when he needed him. 

Hisoka rested his back against a tree looking up at the sky. It was still early afternoon, not a single cloud covered up the beautiful bright blue sky. Hisoka could wait. For Illumi he could wait. 

Hisoka couldn’t remember a time when he saw even a crack in the perfect mask that was Illumi. He had never had to comfort him or anything. Not even when he came back from his house with whip lashes and burns. Or when he was chewed out by his father on the phone for not having a textbook-perfect mission. 

Illumi would occasionally comfort Hisoka. He would offer his shoulder and listen. He would come running to Hisoka’s room to wipe away his tears when his nightmares got particularly bad. Sometimes he would even let Hisoka braid his hair since the repetition eased his mind. Illumi wasn’t the best with words, but his actions spoke greater volumes. 

He would also deny all this if someone were to ask him. 

The blue shifted into black. Stars peaking their way through the blanket of the sky. The wind started to stir, dropping the temperature of the air. 

Hisoka, the magician who couldn’t stand a second of boredom, who constantly itched for the next fight, the next challenge, waited. 

Only for Illumi. 

Chapter Text

“Of course, I can’t read this. It’s just a bunch of squiggles, they aren’t even symbols.” Killua tilted the paper to the side looking at it from a different angle. It didn’t even look like a code to him. It was so bizarre and random. It did seem vaguely familiar, like deja vu. But he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where or what it was. 

He rubbed his forehead, sighing, and handed the paper back over to his sister. 

“But brother, we always use this code,” Alluka questioned. She looked up at her brother with a slight frown and big confused eyes. 

“I’ve never seen this before.” He responded. He shifted in his chair, resting his head on the glass window, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“But…” She paused, crossing over to sit beside her brother. “Are you okay?” 

“Hm? Oh, yes, yes I’m good. Just a headache.” 

“Okay.” She dropped the conversation. She rested her head on Killua’s shoulder. Killua shifted over and rested his own on top of hers. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. 

Alluka could tell her brother was drifting off to sleep. She held onto her piece of paper, not quite sure what she made of the situation. 

“Kurapika!” Alluka shouted through the busy terminal. She ran up to the blond and wrapped her arms around his legs. He patted her head. They had met a couple of times before when they had traveled through Yorknew. Leorio was beside Kurapika, smiling down at Alluka.

“Hello Alluka, where’s Killua?” 

“Here.” Killua half waved. His arms were covered by his black turtle neck, one hand in the pocket of his blue shorts. 

“Oh, hello,” Kurapika said, shifting his eyes down to Killua. “It’s good to see you.” 

“Likewise,” Killua responded. Alluka hopped over to him, grabbing his hand in her own.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it going?” Leorio chimed in.

“Pretty good. How’s your practice going?” Leorio had recently become a full-fledged doctor. Kurapika lived with him, spending his time hunting down his clan’s lost eyes. They all kept in contact as much as they could. 

“It’s good, busy, but that’s good.” 

“Okay, let’s move this conversation to the car before we get swept up in another crowd,” Kurapika said ushering the kids in the direction of the exit as the crowd swelled around them. 

They picked up some dinner on their way to Leorio and Kurapika’s apartment. It was a small place only on the second floor in Yorknew. Leorio wanted to open his practice there since there would be a lot more opportunities with all that goes on in the big city, and so far that has been pretty successful. Plus, with how central the city is, it was easy for Kurapika to pick up info on his clan. 

“You guys can put your stuff in the guest bedroom, it’s just down the hall and to your right.” 

“Okay, thanks Kurapika,” Killua said dashing off to explore with Alluka in tow. 

“Oh, and Gon’s getting in tomorrow!” Kurapika yelled after the two, unsure if they had heard or not. 

“Little rascals they are, tell me again why we agreed to this?” Leorio joked. 

“Yeah, the house is going to be very lively, especially once Gon gets in, you know how the two can get.” 

“Yeah, I hope the neighbors don’t yell at us too much.” 

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Kurapika settled on the couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels. It was getting late, but he figured a nice documentary might settle everyone down for the night. 

“Do you have work tomorrow?” Kurapika asked. Leorio sat next to him, stretching out his limbs on the couch, and resting his head back. 

“Mmm… no I think I just have to round. I cleared my schedule for the next couple of days I think. As long as there is no emergency, I should be good.” 

“That’s good.” 

All of them had stayed in contact as much as they could. Killua and Alluka were traveling around the world, sometimes taking on small hunter jobs when needed. Killua was training Alluka in nen slowly. He didn’t want to open her aura nodes by force as he did, so it was a slow process. 

Gon was traveling too, sometimes with Ging, sometimes on his own. He had gotten him nen back through training, but it was not nearly as strong as it once was. They would sometimes visit each other when they were passing through wherever they happened to be.  

Kurapika and Leorio had offered to open their house to them permanently, maybe even moving somewhere bigger so that they could all have their own space. They were still deciding on the details, but it seemed like most of them were in favor. Of course, they would all still be going off and doing their own thing, maybe even spending months outside of the house. But Kurapika wanted everyone to have a home base that they could always count on, and since Leorio was sort of stuck in Yorknew, it seemed fitting. 

This visit was not only to reunite old friends, but also to finalize everything, and maybe even start moving. With four out of five of them being Hunters money wasn’t really an issue, so they could probably find a house and move in about a month. Which was Kurapika’s goal. He didn’t like the idea of these kids being practically homeless. Even if they weren’t going to use the house that often it didn’t really sit well with him. He also knew that he had to be quick before they all dashed away on their next adventure. It was like herding cats trying to get them all to stay in one place for a while. 

Kurapika had settled on an ocean documentary and called the kids over to watch. As predicted, they settled nicely into the movie. Alluka and Killua cuddling on one of the couches and Kurapika resting on Leorio’s shoulder on the other. Once the movie was done, Kurapika instructed everyone to get ready for bed and to sleep since they had to be up early to pick up Gon. Tomorrow, Kurapika figured, they would bring up the housing situation. 

Chapter Text

Hisoka saw as the dirt shifted. A couple of pebbles sank down into the new hole. Illumi pulled himself out up, sitting down on the ledge. His feet dangling. He looked over to Hisoka. He had a faint brush of dirt on his skin. It dusted his hair as well, and there were some small chunks of rocks hidden inside the layers. He was wearing a simple black long sleeve turtle neck with puffy arms that were slightly more grey with the layer of dirt. 

Hisoka rose an eyebrow at him. His expression was the same as always. 

“Hisoka.” 

“Illumi.” 

“What are you doing here?” Hisoka stayed silent for a moment. He moved closer to Illumi, sitting down next to him, legs crossed. 

“I came to check on you.” He looked straight ahead, towards the line of trees in front of him, “you did leave pretty unexpectedly, you know?” 

“I suppose I did.” 

This time Hisoka turned to look at Illumi. “Why?” He questioned. 

“Oh, no reason.” Illumi was looking back down at his hole, purposely not looking at Hisoka although he could feel his eyes on him. 

“Now, dear~ we both know that’s not true.” Illumi tilted his head to the side as if debating whether or not to disclose his discomforts to Hisoka. His hair brushed the grass below him. 

Illumi knew there was no getting out of this one. He could never talk himself out of anything involving Hisoka, Hisoka was just too persistent. 

“I just don’t understand.” He stated simply. 

“Don’t understand what dear?” 

“I missed you.” Hisoka rose his eyebrows. Illumi turned to look at him this time. Illumi could see the concern and confusion written clearly across Hisoka’s face. His face was always easier to read for the assassin. Maybe because Hisoka was the only one Illumi really knew. Illumi didn’t really know his family. He understood what they liked and what they wanted from him. But he didn’t know whether they shook their leg at the dinner table or how they smiled when they were told a joke. He knew them from a distance. He watched over them, but never up close, always in the shadows. That’s where he lived. He was an assassin after all. He thrived in the darkness. 

Once Illumi realized that he had missed Hisoka, he knew there were cracks in the walls around his heart. He had built them up. He had made them thick, unbreakable, even. Well, at least he had tried. But now he knew they were crumbling. There was a fault in the structure that needed to be mended or else they would all crumble. And he couldn’t have that. He didn’t think he could survive the flow of feelings that would be released if his walls broke. 

“I think…” Illumi took in a deep breath. “I think I’m scared.” He looked up at Hisoka with big blank eyes. Hisoka had never seen Illumi like this before. He had never seen him fumble. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of dear.” Hisoka wrapped an arm around the assassin, pulling him in close. Illumi rested his head on Hisoka’s shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up, honey, and then we will talk.” Illumi nodded slightly. 

They were both showered and dressed in pajamas even though it was early in the morning. Too early for Hisoka, not even the birds were up yet. The sun barely showed its color over the horizon. 

They sat on the couch facing each other. Hisoka had one leg on the floor and the other tucked underneath him. He rested his elbow on the head of the couch. His back touched the armrest. Illumi sat with both legs folded underneath him. His, still slightly damp, hair made little circles as it rested on his legs. His shoulders were slightly hunched and he kept his hands folded in front of him. 

Hisoka figured he would break the silence first. He needed to give Illumi a little push. “You don’t have to be afraid if you have developed feelings for me, no matter what type of feelings they are.” He reached forwards and took one of Illumi’s hands, holding it in both of his. “I love you. I will always love you whether you feel the same way or not.” 

“No, you can’t. I can’t. We can’t.” 

“Yes I can, you can, we can.” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m well… me. You are you. We can’t.” 

“I’m sorry darling, but you are going to have to be a little more clear.” Illumi looked at him. Seemingly lost on how to continue. Hisoka decided to make it simpler. “Let’s start with this first. Why can’t I love you?” 

“I’m unloveable. You can’t. You must be mistaken.” 

“I can assure you darling that you are not unloveable. And I do love you, I have for years.” 

“I don’t understand, you can’t.” 

“I can. Whether you believe me or not, I can and I do.” Hisoka kissed the top of Illumi’s hand. “Now why can’t you love me?” 

“I do not have emotions. I can’t love people.” Hisoka let out a huff. 

“Dear, if you didn’t have emotions, then we would not be here. You would not have missed me.” 

“But, I’m broken. I’m nothing. I don’t think I can let myself have emotions.” 

“Honey, you’re not nothing. You are not broken. You do feel things, you always have. You just didn’t realize it.” Illumi tilted his head to the side. “I can see it. When you bring gifts home to your siblings when you fill up that bowl with gum. That’s you showing your emotions. Maybe not with words, but it’s just as good. You just didn’t know it.” Illumi blinked. “Dear let’s just take this one day at a time. No need to fear the future. I love you, come here.” Hisoka opened his arms and Illumi fell into him, wrapping his arms around Hisoka’s shoulders. Hisoka hugged him back, trying to hold together all the pieces that are Illumi together. 

Illumi buried his head in the crook of Hisoka’s neck. His hair covered his face. He clung to Hisoka’s shirt, clenching the fabric between his fingers. “I think… I think I love you too.” 

Chapter Text

“Killua!” Gon had shouted, jumping onto said boy. It had been a while since the two boys had seen each other. Both always on a new adventure somewhere or another. 

Gon settled nicely into the small house. He set up a futon in the living room, settling his backpack on one of the shelves. It was easy for the travelers to fit in the house even with how tiny it was. They own very little, constantly having to pack up and move. 

Kurapika had scheduled them to see a couple of houses that day. They were all fairly big. Alluka liked to stand by Kurapika and Leorio and listen to the agents rattle on about all the benefits of each house. Gon and Killua scoured each place in mere minutes. 

Killua made them all stop for ice cream when he saw Alluka’s eyes light up as they were passing by a store. 

Leorio made dinner. Kurapika and Leorio usually switched off, but they definitely wouldn’t trust the kids to make anything. Sure they could probably cook. But they tended to only cook what they hunted. It would definitely not be as tasty 

“What did you guys think of the houses?” Kurapika asked as they sat down to eat. 

“I loved them all!” Alluka chimed in. 

“Yeah, they were great!” Gon added. 

“I don’t think they would be very functional,” Killua said poking at his food with his form. His head resting on his hand.

“I agree,” Leorio said. “The layouts were odd.”

Kurapika frowned slightly. He thought the houses were pretty good. They had everything that a house would need, a kitchen, bathroom, and enough bedrooms. He didn’t really know what the fuss was about. 

“We could always fix one up if they are close,” Kurapika suggested. “Why don’t we make a list of everything that we need or want in the house and then I can find some more places that meet the requirements.” 

“That sounds good!” Gon smiled. 

“Hey, Killua? I got that, what do you call it… a mobile console? Do you want to play?” 

“Oh, the new one?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Cool, yeah, let’s play!” 

“Alluka, want to come?” 

“Sure!” 

“Wait!” Kurapika said, as the kids started to run off, “finish your dinner and clean up first, then you can go.” 

“Okay!” Gon said, shoveling food into his mouth. 

Everyone settled into their own thing. Kurapika stayed at the table, looking through the housing market on his laptop. He still needed the lists from the kids, but he thought he could start by seeing what was available first. Leorio headed to bed. He needed to catch up on some sleep that he missed before the kids got there. Being a doctor didn’t allow for much downtime or rest. He was always on call, getting pulled out of sleep at any moment. 

Killua, Gon, and Alluka were in the guest room playing a game. Killua was trying to teach Alluka how to play. She was starting to get the hang of it, beating Gon, but that wasn’t much of an accomplishment. 

The sound of a knock on the door pulled Kurapika from his work. He was a bit confused and alarmed. They weren’t expecting any visitors, and being, well… them. They always had some sort of enemies at any given time. 

Kurapika readied his chains and looked through the peephole in the door. There was a small boy with shoulder-length hair dressed in a kimono. The boy looked familiar to Kurapika. Oh, that’s right, he thought. He had seen him next to Killua’s mother at the Zoldyck mansion. 

This knowledge did not ease the worries of the Kurta. He opened the door a crack, staying on guard. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi is Killua there?” He asked. He held a little box in his hand. 

“Um… what do you want with Killua?” He asked. He didn’t want to give any information up yet. 

“I need to give him this.” He said lifting the box to show Kurapika. 

“What’s in it?” 

“It’s a gift, for Killua. His birthday is coming up.” That was true. Killua’s birthday was in a few days. Kurapika and Leorio were planning on having a little party or something. 

“How do I know it isn’t a bomb or something?” The boy rolled his eyes. 

“Why would I give my brother a bomb?” 

“Your family is always trying to find new ways to force Killua back, so sorry that I do not trust you.” 

“Ugh, can you just bring Killua here? We will get nowhere with this speculation.” Kurapika contended to that, figuring this would be the easiest solution. He would be able to protect Killua from the boy, and Killua probably could protect himself too. 

“Killua!” Kurapika shouted, “Come here!” A few seconds went by. 

“Yeah? Oh, hey Kalluto. What are you doing here?” He asked, seeing his brother through the crack of the door. Kurapika figured that with that reaction, Kalluto wasn’t a threat. He opened the door in its entirety and let Kalluto in. Kalluto looked at Kurapika for a moment before entering. 

“I came to give you this. It’s a birthday gift.” 

“Oh… well, thank you.” Killua scratched the back of his head. 

“I’m leaving with the troupe tomorrow morning, we are leaving for the next week so I figured I would give this to you earlier rather than later.” 

“You didn’t have to,” Killua said, taking the box from his brother.

“I promised I would, so here you go, oh and this is from me.” He said, pulling out a small…something… wrapped in paper and tied with a string. He placed it on top of the box. “You can open them on your birthday if you want, or now, I don’t really care. But I should be getting back. I have to be ready to leave soon.” Kalluto turned to leave. 

“Wait, who is the box from.” Kalluto turned back around, instantly realizing his mistake. 

“It’s from me.” 

“But you sai-.”

“It’s from me.” He turned back around to leave. “I need to go.” Kalluto left, leaving Killua slightly confused. He looked at Kurapika, but he just shrugged. Killua went back to his room, gifts in hand. He left them on the dresser and went back to playing games with Gon and Alluka. 

Chapter Text

Hisoka had decided to cancel his fights for the rest of the week and stay home with Illumi. He did not tell Illumi this. He figured that the harms outweighed the good from that standpoint. 

“Can you… sleep with me tonight?” Illumi asked as they snuggled on the couch. 

“Of course, honey, anything for you~” 

Hisoka lead them to Illumi’s room, figuring he would prefer it. Illumi had a tendency to not sleep anywhere that wasn’t well known to him. It took him forever to actually use the guest bed. When Illumi first started coming over he would always sleep in the ground outside instead. Hisoka would ask why, but Illumi would never give him a straight answer. He figured that it was due to his assassin training. There was always someone after him and people are at their most vulnerable when they sleep. 

For all technical purposes, the ground did seem like the ideal place for an assassin to sleep unnoticed. But practically? Hisoka couldn’t understand how he did it. 

Eventually, though, Illumi did start to sleep in the guest room. 

Illumi took went to his own bathroom, attached to his room. Hisoka took his own. 

He settled in Illumi’s bed. He could hear Illumi still in the bathroom, probably brushing his hair or something. The assassin’s room was quite bare. All his things were tucked away in drawers. It looked generic. Hisoka told him that he should decorate or something. Illumi had nodded but made no effort to actually do it. 

The door opened and Illumi settled into the other side of the bed. Hisoka pulled him in close so that Illumi’s back was pressed against his stomach. Illumi let out a huff of air and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep. Hisoka ran his fingers through the assassin's hair as he settled in for the night himself. 

They spent most of the week like that, living in moments of affection. Hisoka mainly initiated it since emotions and that sort of thing wasn’t really Illumi’s specialty, but occasionally Illumi would plant a kiss on the side of Hisoka’s cheek or wrap his arms around Hisoka’s hips as he was cooking. 

The addition of this affection did not feel odd for either of them. Illumi had trouble understanding his feeling, but here it felt right, and he figured defining everything was just going to complicate things, so he decided to just go by instinct. They were already pretty close, to begin with, so nothing really changed. 

At the end of the week, Illumi had his head pressed into Hisoka’s chest as they lay in bed. Illumi’s hair flowed around them like another blanket. 

“I’m going back home this weekend.” Illumi broke the silence. 

“Oh?” Hisoka said, turning his head to look down at the assassin. 

“Yeah, I have a small job, and then I’ll head home. It will probably take a couple of weeks.”

“Do you want me to come?” Hisoka had asked before, but he was always turned down. He didn’t know whether Illumi realized that their training was really just torture, and it was unnecessary, especially with how skilled Illumi was. 

“No,” Illumi stated simply. The same answer as before. Hisoka did have a little bit of hope that Illumi would change his mind this time. 

“Do you have to go?” Hisoka had never outright asked this before. He knew how important family was for the assassin. 

“Yes, it will be good for me. Plus I get to see my siblings. I think Kalluto is going to be there for a few days.” 

“Oh yeah, isn’t he with the troupe now?” Hisoka veered the conversation into something he knew Illumi would like. He never wanted to push him too much that he would get upset. He had seen Illumi upset before, but it was very difficult to tell, and it took even Hisoka, who knew his face better than anyone, a while to place the emotion. 

“Yes. I think that they are doing something close by Kukuroo Mountain so he said he would come by for dinner or something.” 

“That’s nice. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, no?” 

“Yes, it has.” 

The weekend came by quickly, too quickly for Hisoka’s tastes. He was going to miss the assassin. He always did, but he knew it would be different this time. 

“Ok, I should go,” Illumi said with a small bag flung over his shoulder. He always packed light.

“You can always text me~” 

“Text you? Why would I text you? I won’t be taking on any more jobs.” Illumi asked confused. 

“You can text me anything. If you want to talk. Or when you start to miss me~” Hisoka said slyly. A wide Cheshire grin stretched across his features. He ran a hand through a strand of Illumi’s hair that hung over his shoulders, twirling it between his fingers. 

“I think I will miss you.” 

“Aw~ How cute! I’m going to be glad that you’re gone~” He smiled. 

“I’ll stab you,” Illumi said, with his regular cadence. 

“Just kidding dear~ I’ll miss you too~” Hisoka held Illumi’s chin in his hand and kissed him on the forehead. 

“Goodbye, dear~” 

“Goodbye, Hisoka.” 

His smile dropped once immediately once the door clicked into place. The silence that now filled the house was defining. It was almost always quiet, not much to say when you lived with an assassin, especially an assassin like Illumi, but this quiet was maddening. 

Hisoka knew that he was going to get bored quickly. He flung a few cards at the wall. He needed to find someone to fight to get his mind off of Illumi. There weren’t many people who would be able to distract him from the assassin. There might not be any. 

He scheduled a couple of matches for the next couple of days, figuring that was a good place to start. He was already worrying about Illumi. But he would be fine, right? He had gone home hundreds of times before this time, it was always the same. A little training (torture), but Illumi could handle it. He always could. But Hisoka still worried. He still missed the assassin’s surprisingly gentle touch as they cuddled on the couch. 

It was going to be a long couple of weeks.  

Chapter Text

Hisoka scrolled through his notifications and frowned. It had been about two weeks since Illumi left. At first, Illumi did text him. Just simple things. Usually about one text a day. But the last text he sent was almost a week ago. He scrolled back up to the first text. 

Finished the job, heading back to Kukuroo now. -Illumi. 

How’d it go, honey?~

It was successful. -Illumi. 

Hisoka kept texting anyway. Just little notes, hopefully, to remind Illumi to text, or something, anything really. The lack of attention and information from the assassin was driving Hisoka mad. 

It’s been three weeks now since Illumi left. Almost two weeks since the last text message. Hisoka had thought that maybe his training would impact his ability to text. But to train nonstop for two full weeks, without even a moment to check his phone. It didn’t really seem reasonable to Hisoka. 

Hisoka was panicking. Just a little, but he was panicking. He had stopped drawing the little shapes on his cheeks. He no longer covered himself with texture surprise. His hair was left down, untamed. He looked a wreck. 

Hisoka had never really cared about anyone before, so he did not know what to do with all these newfound fears and emotions. What was happening to Illumi? Is he hurt? Is he dead? 

At first, Hisoka tried to reason with himself that maybe Illumi just wasn’t a texter, or got bored of it. But he knew Illumi. He has known him since he was fourteen, over a decade now. Illumi didn’t really know how society worked, but he was always reliable. Always there. So even though Illumi and Hisoka rarely texted about anything that was not work-related, Hisoka knew that he would have responded. Maybe not by the first or second if he was too busy, but definitely by the eleventh, by the twelfth, by the thirteenth. 

Something was wrong. Hisoka knew it in his bones. 

And he could not do anything about it. 

He didn’t know how to get into the mansion, he didn’t even know if Illumi was there. They were a family of assassins, they could do or go anywhere. And what if Illumi came back? What if he needed Hisoka and came back to this apartment, and Hisoka wasn’t there? And what if he didn’t have his phone? 

He didn’t know what to do. 

He drowned his feelings in bottles of whiskey. He turned down fighting opportunities. He was sinking, falling beneath the waves, with only scarce oxygen. 

He started to stay in his room, not even bothering to leave to the kitchen unless it was absolutely necessary. Illumi wouldn’t be there anyway. 

It’s been a month now. Thirty whole days. Four weeks. A month. Too long. And not a single word from the assassin. Illumi might have been dying, but Hisoka was pretty much dying with him. There was only so much longer he could take of this. 

His phone dinged on the 31st day. He stopped getting excited over the little noise, it was always false hope. But he looked at it anyway. The light of the screen washed the pitch-black room in a bluish tint. It was noon, but for Hisoka, it was always night. 

From Illumi: 

Can you check on Kalluto, Alluka, and Killua? 

Then there were two addresses, both in Yorknew. 

He read the message again. The sheets of his bed tangled in his legs as he twisted around to unplug the phone. This couldn’t be real. He needed to see it closer. 

He read it again, and again. 

Illumi! Where have you been? What’s going on? Why do you need me to check on them? 

Hisoka quickly typed out as his brain caught up with what was happening. He sat up in bed eyes wide. He ran a hand through his slightly oily hair, breathing slightly heavily. 

This number is no longer activated. 

That was what he read as his phone buzzed one more time. 

Nothing about this made sense to Hisoka. Not the absence, not the text, not the disconnected phone. Why would Illumi want him to check up on his family? Illumi valued his family over everything else, why would he entrust something so precious to Hisoka? Why wouldn’t he do it himself? Illumi has often dropped everything just to be there for his siblings, why wouldn’t he do it now? And his phone? That was also his work phone, he didn’t have two. Why would he disconnect it? 

All he wanted to do was run over to Kukuroo mountain and find Illumi, risk it all, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. He would be as good as dead if he didn’t protect Illumi’s sibling for him in his absence. And if something happened to them, Hisoka feared that Illumi would be as good as dead also. 

He took out his laptop and booked the quickest trip to Yorknew that was physically possible. He would go check on the younger siblings, then he would run over to the Zoldyck Mansion and find his beloved. 

He showered and packed a suitcase and practically ran out of the house. He still looked raggedy in his baggy pants and t-shirt, but at least he was a bit more presentable. Presentation was always important to Hisoka since it gave him some added power and prestige which is something he never had as a kid. 

The flight was a million years to Hisoka. He tried to look out the window and watch the cities go past, he tried watching the people around him, but it was no use. It was taking everything he had in him to not release any more bloodlust. People were already crowding to the front of the blimp, repealed away like magnets. 

Hisoka had to keep reminding himself that everything would be fine. Illumi would be fine. His siblings would be fine. And within the week he would be seeing the beautiful face of the assassin once again. Everything would be perfect. He was going to get Illumi back. 

Chapter Text

They had finally settled on a house. Predictably, it took longer than Kurapika had wanted, but at least they had it. Everyone got their own room, and the neighbors were nice. It was perfect. They were set to move in the next week. Which was almost the exact same time that everyone wanted to leave their separate ways. Though they all decided to stay and help move everything as well as decorate their own rooms. Killua agreed begrudgingly, not liking staying in one place for very long. But Gon and Alluka convinced him. It was mainly Alluka though because she really wanted to decorate her room. She had so many ideas. 

The best part was that there was no need for any major changes to the house, just some painting and updating appliances. It was a fairly new house and even had a small backyard, and was two stories with all the bedrooms upstairs and the kitchen, dining rooms, and everything else downstairs. It was located only a short drive, or even a short walk, from Leorio’s office and the hospital. It came with a heavy price tag, but that was to be expected, but it was not something they couldn’t cover. 

Moving day had everyone in a fuss. The kids owned little belongings, but they were trying to help move everything at once. Gon and Killua were competing to see who can move the most. Leorio mainly drove back and forth, refusing to rent a bigger car, and the kids would fill the car and empty it into the new house. Kurapika and Alluka were unpacking the boxes and putting everything away in their new locations. Mainly the kitchen. Kurapika tried to ignore the chaos of the evening by focusing on his own work. 

With four hunters on the case, the house was moved into in less than two days. Kurapika had officially handed back the key to the old apartment and added a forwarding address to the new house. 

Leorio had wanted to wait a day to settle before storming the stores in search of new house material, but he was vetoed by everyone including Kurapika who could not stand to see something unfinished for so long. 

Their haul for that first day was mainly painting. They figured it would be best to paint each room before they even thought about buying new furniture. Each kid wanted to paint their rooms a new color. Alluka had gone for a really soft pink that could be mistaken for a white. Gon had obviously gone for a green; it was a chalky color that had hints of yellow in it. Killua had decided on a darker blue but it wasn’t too dark that it drowned the room. Leorio and Kurapika went with a basic off-white color in their bedroom, which the kids thought was rather boring. 

Kurapika had also picked a couple of bland colors for the rest of the house. They laid plastic all over the house and opened all the windows, hoping to get the first layer of painting done today. Kurapika had begrudgingly allowed Leorio and the kids to paint as well but had decided that they all had to paint the same room. He hoped that with all four of them they could do a somewhat decent job. 

Kurapika was working in the living room. It was also going to be the off-white color. 

Halfway through the room, he heard the ring of the doorbell go off in two consecutive long bursts. It startled him slightly, the unfamiliar sound. He set his brush down and wiped his hands on his apron, going to check the door. Kurapika figured it was the neighbors welcoming them to the neighborhood or something. 

But when he opened the door, he was caught way off guard. 

“Hisoka?” He questioned. Not only wondering why he was at their door, and how he found them, but also if it was really him. He was absent of his makeup. His hair hung down, not styled in its usual upright position. And he wore street clothes instead of his clown getup. 

“Yes, is Killua here?” He went straight to the point. The usual mockery or teasing tone he usually had not there. He seemed rather rushed, clipped. Not the way he tended to drag his words across in slow motion. 

“What do you want with Killua?” Kurapika said holding the door tighter, he wasn’t going to let Hisoka hurt anyone here. 

“I just need to make sure he is alright.” He rolled his eyes. “Can you just let me in for a moment?” 

“Why would you even care about that? And how did you even know I was here?” He didn’t want to let Hisoka know that Killua was indeed in the house, hoping that he couldn’t sense the auras coming from upstairs, or at least not identify them as the kids and Leorio. 

Unluckily for Kurapika, he heard footsteps come running down the stairs as the kids came down. 

“Who’s at the door?” Gon said peeking around Kurapika. Kurapika put his hand out, trying to stop them. To no avail really. 

“Hisoka?” Gon said. “Is that you?” 

“Hisoka’s here?” Killua asked. 

“I think so… he looks weird though.” 

Kurapika sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He might as well let the clown in now. It’s not like he could really stop Hisoka from getting in if he wanted to. Kurapika opened the door fully and Hisoka stepped inside. 

“Eh? What are you doing here?” Killua said, pointing at Hisoka and ushering Alluka to get behind him. 

“I just came to check to see if you and Alluka were okay.” They walked the short distance to the dining room and sat down on the few chairs they had. Gon has to take the floor, and Alluka takes a box. 

“Why would you do that? It’s not like you care about us.” Killua said. He figured that if Hisoka wanted to hurt them then he would have done it by now. Even though he looked like… that. And Killua wanted to get some information out of him. 

“Yeah, I don’t really. But Illumi told me to, so that’s what I’m going to do.” 

“Illumi? Killua’s brother? Why would you do what he says?” Kurapika asked. 

“I don’t believe it.” Killua butted in before Hisoka could respond, “there’s no way Illumi would send you and not come here himself once he figured out where I was hiding.” 

Hisoka chuckled softly, “Oh dear Killua~ You thought you were hiding from Illumi? He’s always known where you were. Even told me the address himself.” Illumi always kept tabs on Killua. Somehow even knew that they had moved to this new house while he was doing god knows what at Kukuroo mountain. 

“Then why hasn’t Illumi come to take Killua home?” Gon asked. 

“He doesn’t want to.” 

“Pssh, now I know you’re lying,” Killua said. 

Hisoka waved him off. “Believe whatever you want, I have to go to Kalluto next.” He stood up to leave, but Killua blocked his path. 

“No you don’t, you’re not going to hurt Kalluto.” Hisoka sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“I have to hurry so I can get Illumi back, you better not stand in my way.” A small trickle of bloodlust escaped the magician. He was trying everything in his power to keep it in, but he couldn’t understand Killua’s selfishness. His brother, who had done nothing but protect him, could be dying. Hisoka needed to go, he needed to hurry. 

He tried to remind himself that Killua did not know any of this. That he hated his brother. That Illumi switched his father’s position in his life with his. But this wasn’t helping. 

“Get Illumi back? Where is he?” Killua didn’t quite understand why he asked. He didn’t care what happened to his eldest brother. 

“Doesn’t matter, I have to go.” 

“I’m not going to let you hurt Kalluto,” Killua said again, blocking his path once more as Hisoka tried to move around him. 

“Illumi would never forgive me if I hurt you or Kalluto, so you better move.” Hisoka seethed. Kurapika jumped in before the situation escalated any further. 

“Why don’t we accompany you? Then we can make sure you don’t hurt Kalluto, you can make sure Kalluto is okay, and then we can all part ways. Does that sound alright with you Killua?” 

Killua shrugged. Kurapika looked at Hisoka. He had his hand pressed to both of their chests trying to keep them apart. Hisoka shrugged. 

“Whatever.” 

“Okay good,” Kurapika sighed, glad that there was no fighting, he honestly didn’t know who would make it out alive. “We will leave in thirty minutes, okay? Hisoka you stay in this room. Don’t move or I will use my nen on you. Gon, Killua, get ready. Alluka will stay here with Leorio.” Everyone nodded. Hisoka took a seat. He figured that this would be the simplest way of getting what he wanted since he couldn’t exactly use force. Illumi would definitely kill him then. 

Chapter Text

Kurapika, Hisoka, Killua, and Gon all piled into the car. Hisoka in the front seat with Kurapika driving, and Gon and Killua in the back. 

“So where is Kalluto?” Hisoka fished his phone out of his pocket and clicked a few buttons. He handed it over to Kurapika and leaned against the window, his head resting on the palm of his hand. 

Kurapika looked at what seemed to be a text conversation between Illumi and Hisoka. 

“So this is why you’re worried.” Kurapika hummed, starting up the car. 

“What do you mean?” Gon asked from the back. Kurapika handed Hisoka back his phone. 

“Illumi’s phone is disconnected,” Kurapika said simply. Killua raised his eyebrows and looked over at Hisoka. Hisoka grunted and turned back to the window. 

“You can’t fight them.” Hisoka broke the silence. 

“Fight whom?” Kurapika responded, making a right turn. 

“Kalluto is a part of the phantom troupe. The whole troupe is going to be there. You can’t fight them.” Kurapika gripped the steering wheel harder. Hisoka glanced over at him. 

“I know. I won’t.” 

“Good.” 

The map leads them to a large almost mansion-sized house right on the outskirts of Yorknew. Apparently, they had moved on from abandoned buildings. Hisoka immediately hopped out of the car even before Kurapika managed to turn off the car and knocked on the door. The rest trailed behind him as the door opened. Feitan stood in the doorway looking rather annoyed and rolling his eyes at Hisoka. 

“What do you want?” 

“Where’s Kalluto?” 

“What?” 

“Where’s Kalluto?” Hisoka asked, louder this time. Killua pushed him aside. 

“We need to speak to Kalluto for a moment.” Chrollo walked by the door behind Feitan. 

“Oh, Hisoka, what are you doing here? Are you here to fight me?” 

“No.” 

“Hmm? Then why are you here?” Chrollo was very intrigued now. Hisoka was always looking for the next good fight. What could possible be more important to him than fighting? 

“I came to see Kalluto. Can you just bring me to him?” He was almost shouting at this point. 

“Ok, follow me.” Chrollo wanted to know where this was going. And it wasn’t as if they all posed any serious threat to the troupe, especially not with the state Hisoka seems to be in. Whatever it is. 

They were all taken to a large common area. It was a rather large room. A huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling, although it was dim and barely any light reached the house. Most of the troupe was already there. They shifted until the only people in the room was Hisoka’s little group, Chrollo, and Kalluto. There were two rows of couches facing a coffee table. Kalluto and Chrollo took one couch while Gon and Killua took the other. Kurapika stood next to them and Hisoka took a chair to the side. 

“Kalluto, I came to check on you, are you good?” Hisoka asked. He looked fine. But there was always the possibility someone was hunting him down or something. Really, Hisoka had nothing to go on by Illumi’s text. 

“Where’s Illumi?” Kalluto asked instead of responding. Chrollo rose an eyebrow. Killua stared daggers at Kalluto. Gon rubbed his back to try and soothe his friend. Kurapika stood behind them. 

“I think he’s as Kukuroo Mountain,” Hisoka said. 

“You think?” Kalluto huffed, clearly agitated. 

“Why do you ask, anyway?” Killua asked from his spot on the couch. 

“Because,” Kalluto drawled out, “Illumi always comes to check on me, he never sends Hisoka to do it. Why would he send him.” He sent an accusatory finger Hisoka’s way. 

Chrollo had known that Illumi often checked on his younger brother, and to be honest he also was confused as to why he would involve Hisoka in this. Chrollo knew they were together or something but Illumi would never entrust anyone other than himself to look after his family. 

“Pfft. Why do you even care? This is Illumi we are talking about. You know the emotionless coldhearted assassin. He can handle himself. It’s not like he cares about you guys anyway.” Killua pitched in. Kalluto never understood this side of Killua. They were never really close and spent very little time together. Kalluto always saw this anger from Killua, but only towards their eldest brother. He also saw how Illumi avoided Killua but was always protecting him. He asked Milluki about this before, but Milluki just told him to ignore it, to not get involved. But how could he not? When everyone abandoned him, Illumi was there. When everyone left, Illumi was there. How dare Killua act this way when he wouldn’t even look Kalluto’s way? 

Kalluto knew there must have been something deeper going on. That’s why he never brought it up before. He could tell in the way Milluki spoke. But he couldn’t ignore this when Killua was speaking so ill towards the only brother that looked at Kalluto. 

“How dare you say something like that? He does care. He cares more than anybody!”

“It doesn’t matter Kalluto, he doesn’t know.” Hisoka piped in, trying to defuse the situation. He rested his head on his hand, bored of all this nonsense, he just wanted to leave. 

“I don’t know what?” Killua barked at Hisoka. 

“You don’t know your brother.” 

“Haha! Of course I know my brother! I know him better than you guys and he is a terrible person! He hurts people. He hurts me!” Killua shouted standing up. Gon stood up next to him, moving to block his path to Hisoka only slightly. Kurapika rested his hands on their shoulders trying to usher them back down. There could not be a fight in all this. But Killua did seem to have a point. Gon was thinking the same thing. How could anyone defend Illumi? 

“No, you don’t because Illumi put a needle in your head to make you forget!” Hisoka seethed. A moment later, he realized what he said. He slightly regretted it, he knew Illumi wouldn’t be happy with that piece of information getting out. But he honestly didn’t care that much. Maybe Illumi would be happier if the needle was taken out if his brother didn’t despise him. 

“I took the needle out.” 

“You took one.” Everyone’s eyebrows rose at that. They looked around at each other shocked. Kalluto looked between the two. The pieces of information align in his head. 

“Take it out,” Kalluto said. “Take out the needle.” If that was the reason Killua treated Illumi terribly, then it needed to be removed. He stood up and walked over to Killua. “Where did he put it? You have to take it out.” 

“What? No! There are no needles in my head.” A headache was starting to form at the base of Killua’s neck. He cupped his head in his hands. Gon reached over to wrap his arms around Killua. Kurapika moved to black Kalluto’s path from Killua. 

“Why would he even do that?” Gon asked. “It doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Yeah, don’t touch Killua.” Chrollo stood to the side looking slightly amused. 

“To save Alluka,” Hisoka said simply. “Do you really think your father would just keep her alive?” Hisoka snickered. Killua widened his eyes. No that couldn’t be it. Illumi hates Alluka, he wants her dead. He tried to think back but it hurt. His head hurt. Something was blocking his memories, and it felt eerily similar. He reached behind his head, but couldn’t even bring his hand close to the nape of his neck where the pain emanated from. 

Maybe they were right. Maybe not about everything, but maybe Illumi did put another needle in his head. 

“Gon.” He said. “Can you see if there is a needle? Right here.” He pointed to the spot. Gon looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re the only one I trust.” 

“Okay, Killua.” Gon pushed Killua’s hair up with one hand and inspected the area. There didn’t seem to be anything there, but the needle would have to be under the surface. 

Everyone stared at the two as Gon worked. He ran his fingers over the skin trying to sense if there was a lifted area. Right in the center, there did seem to be something. 

“I’m going to make a small cut, okay?”
“Okay.” He made a small scratch on Killua’s skin and felt inside. And there it was the tip of a long silver needle. He pulled in out slowly. 

He looked over at Killua. He had his head in his hands, slumped down covering his eyes. Kurapika looked up at Gon with wide eyes. There really was a needle there. 

“I told you~” Hisoka said, gaining a small fraction of his singsong-like voice back. Killua wasn’t responding though. Gon shook his shoulders. Kurapika knelt down next to him. 

“Killua? Killua are you okay?” He stayed frozen. 

Chapter Text

He remembered now. He remembered everything. 

“Aniki” Killua cried as he knelt next to Illumi. There were small tears forming at the edges of his vision. They had just finished training in lightning. Illumi was on the ground pulling out needles that Sylva had stuck in him before they had begun. Killua didn’t know why he always did that, but he never did it to Killua, so Killua never asked. 

“Yes?” Illumi asked. Killua wanted comfort. He wanted someone to be there for him. He wanted to hug Illumi, but he knew this would not be a good idea. Not just with the pins stuck in his skin, but also because Illumi did not like to be touched. Killua respected this. 

“I don’t want to train anymore.” He whined. Illumi looked up at him and tilted his head slightly to the side. 

“You don’t? Why is that?” 

“It hurts. I don’t like it.” Killua could see Illumi thinking, looking slightly to the side. 

“Hmm? What do you like then?” Illumi asked. Killua knew it was sincere even though his voice was the same as always. 

“I like having fun. I like playing.”

“Ok,” Illumi said. 

The next day Illumi showed up in Killua’s room with a gaming device loaded with a cartridge of one of the games Milluki had enjoyed. He handed it to Killua. 

“What is this for?” Killua asked. 

“Milluki says it brings the fun. You wanted fun, right?” Killua looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Thank you, Aniki!” 

Kalluto came barreling into Killua’s room, cheeks wet with tears.

“Kalluto? Kalluto what’s wrong?” Killua asked rubbing Kalluto’s back as they hugged. 

“I… I broke one of moms nice vases! She’s going to be so mad when she finds out!” He clung to Killua’s shirt wailing. 

“Don’t worry it’ll be okay. Illumi’s coming back soon he’ll fix it.”

When Illumi came back Killua told him what had happened as Kalluto continued to cry, clinging onto Killua’s shirt. “Don’t worry Kalluto,” Illumi said, “I’ll handle it.” The next time they walked through the hallways they spotted the message Illumi must have put up. There were a few books out of place, the clock was set to the wrong time, and the angle of the portraits were just slightly off. Kalluto tugged on Killua’s sleeve. He pointed to some of the objects. 

“Illumi wants us to stay in our room for the next couple of hours,” Kalluto said. 

“Yeah yeah. Do you want to stay with me in mine?” 

he nodded. 

Illumi had come up with a way to communicate with his siblings when he couldn’t talk to them. All the kids knew how to read the subtle messages. It was simple really, moving some things in the hallway to spell words. It was also very effective no one noticed and all the kids knew how to read it. 

“I want to go outside.” Killua had told his eldest brother one day while Illumi was wrapping up some of his wounds from training earlier. 

“Why?” Illumi asked. 

“I don’t know… it looks fun.” Killua smiled up at Illumi. 

“Okay.” 

Their conversation ended, and Killua thought that nothing would come of it. Though, the next time he asked Kikyo if he could play outside with Alluka, she, surprisingly, said yes. Killua had no idea how, but he knew his brother did something. 

Killua realized pretty quickly that Illumi didn’t really understand a lot of basic things. He didn’t understand that sweet things were good. Killua had to tell him after Illumi gave him chocorobots that he saw kids enjoying while out on a job. He didn’t understand that people could want things or like things. He didn’t understand most things about people or how they worked. Killua assumed that this was because he was the eldest and no one was there to show him. 

Surprisingly though, it was Illumi who taught Killua. Without Illumi, Killua too would not know that there were things he liked, and things he didn’t. He would never have things he liked. They would have been forgotten. Without Illumi, he wouldn’t have seen what freedom could be. He would never know that it was what he wanted. 

Without Illumi, he would have never left the mansion. He would have become an assassin. 

Everyone was shouting. Killua was among them. Sylva wanted to take Alluka away. He wanted to kill her. Killua was crying. He loved Alluka, he couldn't let anything happen to her. Alluka was crying too. Sylva just shouted at them. They were both fighting over Alluka. 

All of a sudden a figure blocked his view from Sylva. 

“I have a proposition for you.” He stated to his father, Killua clung to Alluka as his father’s attention was elsewhere. Killua couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, too busy trying to comfort his younger sister. He knew everything would be okay. Illumi was stepping in. Things worked out when Illumi was there. 

A moment later, Illumi knelt down next to them. “Father won’t hurt Alluka or Nanika,” Illumi said. 

“You promise?” Killua asked. 

“Yes, I promise.” 

Illumi hugged Killua. Killua stood frozen for a moment. This had never happened before. Illumi held him tight as if he might lose him. Killua wrapped his arms around his brother. 

“I love you, Kil,” 

There was a sharp pain at the base of Killua's neck. His vision faded to black. 

“Oh god, Aniki, why did you do this?” Killua whispered. 

Chapter Text

“What happened to Aniki?” Killua said, standing up. Kurapika jolted a little at the sudden movement, and Gon leaned back slightly. 

“I don’t know.” Hisoka sighed. Haven’t they been over this before? 

“What are you doing even texting Illumi? Did you do something to him?” 

“Of course not.” 

“Why do you guys text?” 

“He lives with me,” Hisoka responded, figuring the less he said the better. He could not exactly predict what Killua would do at the moment. Usually, he could, but he had never even seen him care about his eldest brother. This was all new. 

“Why?” Kalluto looked at Hisoka also, everyone else followed suit. 

“We are in… how would you put it? A relationship,” Hisoka said. His gaze was still unamused as he waved his hand that was previously holding up his head. He didn’t really know if that was the right word. It was new to him. To both of them. They were just on the cusp of something different now after being partners in crime for years. 

“A relationship?” Kalluto asked this time. 

“Of sorts.” 

“What happened to Illumi?” Killua seemed to decide to move on from that at the current moment. 

“I already said multiple times I don’t know.” 

“Why are you worried then?” 

Gon chimed in this time. “His phone stopped working, right?” 

“There had to have been more, otherwise Hisoka wouldn’t be in that state right now. You couldn’t get like that in a day.” Killua glared. 

“When he left, I told him to text me, and he did. But soon after his texts stopped completely. Yesterday he told me to check on him and then his phone disconnected. That is all I know.” 

“Well, we have to get him back. Something must have gone wrong on his visit to our parents.” Killua said. 

“Yes, but you aren’t going,” Hisoka said, standing up. 

“What?” Killua said. Kalluto walked behind Hisoka, trying to follow him. 

“You aren’t going either,” Hisoka said, turning to look back at Kalluto. 

“But-” Kalluto started. 

“No, if anything were to happen to either of you, Illumi would kill me. You are to stay here.” He pointed to Kalluto. “And you are going to go back and watch over Alluka.” He pointed at Killua. “And you,” He set his gaze on Chrollo, “are going to make sure nothing happens to Kalluto.” Chrollo nodded. 

“No, I am not going to do nothing.” Killua argued. Kalluto stayed silent. He knew that Illumi would be mad if he found out that he did something as dangerous as going up against their parents. 

“Yes, you are.” 

“No, I’m not. I have spent all these years treating Illumi terribly, I’m not just going to turn my back on him when he needs me.” 

“He needs you more alive.” 

They continued to argue. Gon and Kurapika were still a little shocked at the turn of events. They were trying to understand the situation. Apparently, Illumi, who they thought was a terrible person who would hurt his brother, is good? They needed more information. They watched the back and forth of their argument. Not really sure which side they favored. Usually, they would never go with Hisoka. But they also would never go with Illumi. And if those were the only factors, they would choose Killua’s side. But this was life and death, and the person who would die is Killua if they sided with him. It was a rather odd turn of events. 

Kalluto just watched until the vibration of his phone started up in his pocket. He pulled it out, turned his back on the conversation, and answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Kalluto?” 

“Milluki? Is that you?” 

“Yes, bu-”  he started, then continued to ramble. Kalluto couldn’t understand what he was saying with all the yelling going on. 

“What was that?” 

“It father and Illumi…Oh no no no, this is not good… what to do.” 

Kalluto wasn’t catching everything. “Will you two please shut up!” Kalluto yelled at Hisoka and Killua. They looked at him but kept quiet. 

“Can you repeat slower this time?” 

Killua could see that Kalluto was on the phone. He didn’t know with who, and he couldn’t hear what was said, only what Kalluto would respond with. 

“Dead?” Kalluto asked. Killua froze up. Who was dead? What was going on? 

“Okay, calm down. It’s going to be okay…” 

Hisoka stopped listening after that. He had no clue what was going on. But someone was dead. Someone that Kalluto knew, and the only logical answer would be Illumi. That was the person currently on their radar, but he couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t. 

“Who was that?” Killua said when Kalluto hung up the phone. 

“That was Milluki.” Kurapika could tell that Killua was trying to keep it together. 

“What did he say?” Kurapika asked. 

“Sylva is dead.” Kalluto started. Hisoka’s ears started working again and relief flowed through him.

Milluki did not know what to do, everything was going to shit. He stayed hidden in his room, the lights were off, only the blue glow of his computer screens filled the room. Although he doubted that would matter. No one would be looking for him. 

He couldn’t do anything. He was useless. How had it gotten this far? He picked up his phone and dialed Kalluto. He didn’t know what else to do. Didn’t know if Kalluto could help him, but he had to try. They had to do something. 

“Can you repeat slower this time?” Milluki tried to breathe. He was panicking, but he had to be coherent so that Kalluto could understand him. 

“Sylva is dead.” 

“Dead?” 

“Yes, Illumi killed him and mother has taken Illumi away. He’s in bad shape Kalluto, and I can’t do anything!” Milluki’s heart rate skyrocketed again, he tried to breathe normally. 

“Okay, calm down. It’s going to be okay.” 

“No no no! It’s not. Illumi won’t fight back. I don’t know what to do! You have to get him out of here! He’s dying, he’s not going to make it like this. Please, please, get him out.” 

“Ok, don’t worry, it will be okay.” 

Milluki hated that he was relying so much on his younger brother. But this was too much for him. Probably too much for both of them too. He knew Kalluto wouldn’t have been so calm if he had seen the state of the usually stoic Illumi. 

It was bad, it was really bad. 

“Now, I’m definitely coming with,” Killua said. Gon stood next to him nodding along with his friend. 

Hisoka looked furious. More furious than they had ever seen him and it was getting even more difficult to control his bloodlust. 

“We’ll get him out of there,” Hisoka said. 

Chapter Text

All Illumi could feel was pain. He was lying on something cold. No matter how long he lay there, it remained cold, and he knew he must’ve been there for a while. A long while. He kept trying to think back to how he got there, but it was all too difficult, too blurry and disorganized and he couldn’t put anything together. 

It was peaceful, just lying there in pain. Not thinking. It was difficult to think. He had no obligations there, no duties. No one to protect. It was almost good, but it felt… wrong. There was something he was missing, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. 

His head pounded as if nails were being pounded into his skull from every possible angle. Bright blistering pains were scattered on his body, but he couldn’t locate their precise locations. Anytime he moved his whole body would pulse with pain. Pain, not even the assassin could stand. 

He closed his eyes, welcoming the darkness. 

Illumi could see Killua just right in front of him. He was looking out in the distance at something Illumi couldn’t see. Illumi stood up and walked over to him. 

His face was splattered with blood, it didn’t look like his though. Illumi looked at him shocked, he remembered Killua left his life as an assassin behind him. Illumi looked down at the boy's hands. They were drenched in deep red blood. It dripped down onto the stone below them. He noticed a small silver piece on his wrist and he looked closer. 

Shackles. His hands were bounded and locked onto the floor. 

“Aniki? Why did you bring me back here?” Killua said, tears already forming at the corners of his eyes. “I can’t leave anymore. Why did you take everything away?” 

“I- I didn’t… what-what’s going on? I didn’t… Killua?” Illumi couldn’t have… could he? Did he really bring Killua back? If he was back then he would be stuck there. Did Illumi fail? Has their father taken the needle out and dragged his baby brother back into this life? 

“I-I’m sorry” Illumi fumbled. “I’ll… I’ll fix it. Okay?” Illumi reached for the chains. 

“No! You can’t anymore, Aniki! This is your fault!” Killua started to sink into the floor as the chains pulled him deep into the ground. Illumi started to panic. He tried to pull him back, but he just wouldn’t stop sinking! 

“This is your fault!” Killua kept repeating. “I hate you!” Illumi kept whispering sorries and ‘it’s going to be oks.’ Until Killua was fully absorbed into the ground. Illumi continued to pound at the ground, using all the strength that he has. Nothing was working, it wasn’t even denting. 

“No no! Killua!” Illumi cried, shaking badly. He didn’t know what to do. He needed to get Killua back. He needed to get Killua… “No, no no…” drip, drip drip could be heard as tears sunk into the stone, filling the spot where Killua once was. 

This is all wrong. Illumi thought. Something was wrong…Killua. He messed up. He messed up and ruined everything and now Killua was going to suffer. Everyone was going to suffer. All because Illumi was selfish and heartless. He had ruined everything. This carefully balanced family that he had sewn together was tumbling down and he couldn’t stop it. 

Illumi covered his face with his hands, blocking out this world he has created. 

Chapter Text

The fog in Illumi’s mind cleared up just a bit. He didn’t even know what to do with this newfound clarity. Albeit minimal. He shifted slightly, trying to sit up. It wasn’t working. His nervous system continued to fire away, too much for his muscles to take. He could feel the needles on his sides sunk deeper below the skin, burying themselves more in his minimal movement. 

For a moment he felt the familiar weight in his pants pocket. His phone. He had forgotten about that. He was a bit surprised he still had it on him. After… everything. It was useless now though, he had no need for it. Hisoka should just forget about him. That would be good. 

Images of his siblings flashed across his mind. Their bodies were beaten and bruised. Chains sealing them away in this house. 

Ah. He thought. Maybe Hisoka could help me one last time. He knew that he was never leaving this room. He would never be able to make sure that his siblings were safe. But maybe Hisoka could. He wouldn’t hurt them. And maybe it was the brain fog or the hallucinations, but Illumi imagined that Hisoka could keep them safe for him. 

With all his might he pulled his phone out of his pocket. The bright screen comes on automatically. He quickly typed in a message, knowing his eyes couldn’t stand the brightness much longer. He pressed send and his hand fell uselessly to the ground. He was breathing heavily with the effort. His lungs straining to take in any oxygen, perspiration already forming on his brow. He remembered when his body wasn’t so weak, only just a few weeks ago. But even he had his limits. His time was running short. 

He still had one thing he had to do now before his mother came down again. He crushed his phone in his palm, not even able to lift it any further off the ground. He could feel the phone turn to measly pieces in his palm. He should throw them, or hide them in his pocket or something. The corners of his vision started to turn black. He couldn’t. 

Kikyo came down the stairs. Her heels were thunderous in the stone dungeon. She opened the door that held her eldest. She saw that he was still in the same position, lying down with his hair covering part of his chest, his eyes still closed. The needles were still secured in his skin. The gold reflected brightly against the purple outfit stained red. 

She noticed black pieces next to Illumi’s hand and crouched down to get a better look at what it was. The remnants of a keyboard gave it away as a phone. 

“You worthless child, what is this?” She received no answer. She picked up all the pieces and stood up, stepping her sharp heel into his forearm of Illumi. She huffed and turned around bringing the pieces to Milluki’s room. 

“Find out what is on this!” She said, slamming the pieces down onto Milluki’s desk. 

“What’s this?” He asked, slightly startled 

“It’s Illumi’s! Find out what’s on this!” She left after that. 

Milluki looked down on what he knew was a broken phone. Illumi’s? He wondered. He knew what happened. Well, most of it at least. He figured that Kikyo was just going to train Illumi a little harder. They cared little about the lives of their family. If someone died, then they just weren’t strong enough. So if Illumi killed Sylva, then Sylva must have not been fit to be the head anymore. That’s how Milluki thought everyone had viewed it, but the phone changed everything. Illumi must have been in trouble. He was never seen without his phone. It was necessary for business purposes and it held a lot of valuable information. Something must be wrong with Illumi. But it was Illumi they were talking about. How could he be in danger? He always was able to handle everything. Hell, he killed their old man, what could possibly bring him down? 

Milluki snuck out of his room late the next night and went to the dungeons. He knew which one Illumi would be in if he was here. And seeing the phone, he most likely was. Before he had seen it, Milluki honestly thought that he had done a bit of training and gone out on a job. He was usually in his room, so he didn’t keep track of most things.

He slowly opened the door. It squeaked loudly. The small amount of light that filtered through lit up Illumi’s decimated body. He was passed out. There was a puddle of dried blood underneath him and he looked like a pincushion with all the gold knobs sticking out of him in every direction. His breathing was strained and audible. It was the only thing Illumi could hear in that room. He had never heard his brother sound like that before. 

Milluki fumbled backward reaching for the door. He fell to the floor scurrying out of there as fast as he could. He ran until he made it back to his room. 

Everything about this was wrong. It was… awful. What was happening? Why wasn’t Illumi getting out of this himself? He could easily stand up to Kikyo and anyone else who crossed his path. He didn’t know what was going on. 

He crawled under his desk and pulled out his phone. He called Kalluto. Maybe it was stupid of him, to think that Kalluto could help with something like this. But he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t… he didn’t… 

This was all wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to Illumi. He was the strong one. The one that held them all up. The wall that protected them from everything. How could he have fallen? How? 

He didn’t know. All he knew was that they needed to get Illumi out of here. Milluki didn’t really care for anyone. He didn’t care about Kalluto, he didn’t care about Killua or Alluka. He didn’t care about their parents. But Illumi was always there for him. Aways supporting him from the shadows. He couldn’t let him die.  

He cared for Illumi. 

Chapter Text

“What we need is a plan,” Hisoka said slamming his fist into his open palm. He was pacing back and forth trying to think of something. “Killua and Kalluto, you guys must know all the security, so you guys can get me in. Once I’m in I’ll just grab Illumi and go. There should be no problem with that. Haha. Yeah, that should do it.” The end was more whispered to himself.
Killua was a little skeptical about whether or not Hisoka was in the right headspace for this. Normally, he wouldn’t even question Hisoka’s capabilities, especially since his father seems to be out of commission, but this was still the Zoldyck mansion. And… well… he didn’t seem to have all the pieces of his brain together, even less than he normally did. Killua knew that he was going to have to step up on this one.
Maybe if he could get Kurapika and Gon to come along, with all three of them, and Hisoka of course, they could slip through security and the butlers. But he would have to think about going through the gates or the side gates… If they went through the main gates then mother would surely notice, and she would definitely assume that they were after Illumi. She would either do something to Illumi or do something to make Killua stay. Both were not good and definitely should be avoided. Killua couldn’t even think about what she would do. He didn’t have enough facts on the situation to know.
But if he didn’t go through the main gate he would most certainly die by Mike. And if they did manage to evade Mike, they would also have to navigate up the mountain without alerting the butlers.
Ugh, this was going to be hard.
Plus he didn’t know what the state of the house was without his father there. Were the butlers panicking? Were they still there?
Killua was tapping his chin, thinking of all the possible outcomes. He had to figure out how to save Illumi with minimal risk of injury and death as soon as possible.
“We should call Milluki back,” Killua said. Everyone looked up at him, and he realized that he had interrupted Hisoka. He was too deep in thought. “Oh, um… We need more information if we are going to execute this properly, and Milluki is probably the only person who would know and is willing to give it. Once we have the info from him we can go and rescue Illumi.” He rubbed the back of his head.
Kalluto opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but Hisoka beat him to it.
“We won’t be rescuing him.” He half-yelled. “I am going to do this.”
“What? Why are you being selfish about this?” Killua said. He was a bit ticked off that Hisoka thought he could just swipe his brother from right under his nose.
“Killua.” Gon pulled on Killua’s sleeve.
“There is no way you guys are coming with. It is going to be dangerous, and if you guys get hurt or got forbid they somehow trap you,” he said pointing and Killua, “Illumi would kill me” he ran his hand through his flat hair, “and probably himself.” He added. “And probably everyone.” He continued.
Killua wanted to fume. He wanted to be angry, but he also knew that Hisoka was right. Even if Killua just got injured a little from falling or something while trying to save Illumi, Illumi would be furious.
“We still need to call Milluki,” Killua said. Kalluto nodded and fetched his phone out of his pocket already dialing the number.
“Milluki?” Kalluto said into the receiver. Everyone had their eyes on him. He rolled his and turned the phone to speaker.
“What do you want?” Milluki said. Kalluto flinched. He sounded annoyed and bored. A complete 180 from how he sounded barely an hour ago when he called.
“Well…um. We need to know the state of the mansion.”
“Why the hell would you need that?” Kalluto could imagine him seething, spit hitting his screens in a darkened room.
“We need to get Illumi.” Kalluto eyebrows pinched together. Something was wrong.
“Illumi’s not here. He’s probably out on a job. Why would you even need him?” He sighed.
They all looked at each other. Eyes wide. Kalluto opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, not really knowing what to do anymore.
“How’s… how’s the house? Everything good there?”
“Yeah, everything’s the same as always. Is there anything else you need? I want to get back to my game.”
“No, no that’s all. I’ll talk to you later, I guess.”
“Yeah, whatever.” The phone clicked off.
“What the hell was that?” Hisoka yelled. “What the hell was that?”
“Illumi.” Kurapika pitched in. “What if Illumi did something? You know like with his needles.”
“Why would he do that?” Gon asked.

Chapter Text

“I agree with Hisoka on this one.” Kurapika piped in while the group was continuing to argue about who should join in on this mission to save Illumi. 

“Fine fine.” Killua relented. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with this, he knew. Kalluto shook his head slightly but ultimately gave up the fight. Even in his disheveled state, Hisoka was too powerful for them to fight with, and really they needed him on their side. “But I know how you can get in, so only once I explain the layout you can go,” Killua added after he watched Hisoka inch towards the door. 

Hisoka held up his hands in resignation. 

“Okay.” They all sat down on the couches once more. The room was silent for a minute as they all regained their breaths, tired from the arguing and the stress. 

“So, my suggestion is not to go through the main gate.” Killua started. He explained the layout of the house, all the areas where the butlers stayed, and their stations. The best places to navigate through. He even explained the security system inside the house. Well, at least all he knew about it. They were going to have to pull that information out of Milluki to get a better picture since neither Killua nor Kalluto were experts. He also went over where in the house Illumi was most likely to be located and the dangers that encompassed the mansion. Kalluto added his two cents as well. They were probably missing a lot. The mansion was filled with traps and dangers to keep people out. It also drove the family away, but Killua supposed that wasn’t its purpose. 

“I don’t know how in the world I am going to remember all of that. But that doesn’t matter. I’m strong, this should be no big deal.” 

“I know you’re strong, but this is the Zoldyck mansion we are talking about. You might be able to get past the butlers and Mike and maybe some of the traps. But all of them? Without dying in the process? I don’t think so.” Maybe on an average day, Hisoka could. Not with how Hisoka is now and especially not when the house is most likely on high alert. 

Gon and Kurapika nodded their heads, having seen the Zoldyck mansion before. They all knew that Hisoka has never been there. 

“I may have a suggestion,” Chrollo added. He lifted his index finger in the air, calling attention to himself. 

The heavy doors of his prison creaked open. The light blinded Illumi. He had been in the dark for so long. A shadow soon fell over his eyes, and he tilted his head up to look at the looming figure. Illumi could see the silhouette of a person, the triangle on his head and the puffy sleeves indicated to Illumi that this was Hisoka. 

Illumi pulled himself into a sitting position. His head was downcast to the floor and his body slumped forwards. 

“H-Hisoka is that you?” He asked. He wanted to ask more. But there was pain. Somewhere there was pain, he couldn’t pinpoint where. He wanted to know what he was doing here. He wanted to tell him to leave. It wasn’t safe for him. 

Hisoka didn’t speak, didn’t move for a couple of minutes. Illumi’s eyes adjusted to the new light in the room. He could faintly make out the colors on Hisoka. The pink of his hair, and the white of his shirt. And the little designs that he painted on his face. 

There was also red. Red that barely absorbed any of the light that sprinkled into the room. It almost looked black, could have been a shadow. But Illumi knew the shadows that made up Hisoka’s face. He knew it in any light. This wasn’t that. 

It was on his hair. On his clothes. On the edges of his lips. It leaked out of his nose. Illumi reached out a hand to Hisoka and tried to stand up. His legs gave out and he fell to the floor. 

“No nonononon” Illumi was mumbling. Although barely a breath passed his lips. 

Hisoka fell. The impact vibrated through the floor. Illumi could feel it shake his bones and tremble over his heart. He pulled Hisoka into his arms. He caressed Hisoka’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together. 

His large empty eyes caught the glint of a drop of water resting on the magician’s cheek. Soon another landed next to it and Illumi realized it came from him. There was still a slight hint of life in his eyes. 

It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be fine. He tried to say, it came out strained and coarse and barely even words. 

Bang. 

The sound echoed. It kept ricocheting off the walls. He looked at the limp figure in his arms. 

More blood flowed through a hole embedded in Hisoka’s forehead. It kept flowing and gurgling. Illumi pressed his hand to the blood. Trying to stop its flow. He wanted everything to be okay. It was going to be fine. Hisoka would be fine. 

There was nothing in his eyes anymore. 

Illumi was trembling. He couldn’t stop his hands from moving, from shaking. There was something bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t place what it was. 

“Is this the boy you chose over your family?” Illumi jolted his head towards the voice. He looked straight into the metal bar that was his mother's eyes just millimeters from his nose. She was kneeling down in front of him. A smile plastered on her sickeningly pale face. 

“You ruined this family for him! You ruined Killua you ruined everything! For this pathetic boy! You worthless disgrace of a child! You’re no Zoldyck! How could you have done this to me! To your family!” She spat. 

Illumi’s lips trembled. He wanted to say something anything. He squeezed his eyes shut. Opening and closing his mouth, shaking his head from side to side. 

He really did ruin everything, didn’t he? All he wanted to do was protect the people he loved, but he ended up being their downfall. He was a failure. He was a failure and he couldn’t fix anything. 

Colors and shapes bounce around like ribbons in his vision. He looked up at it. Gazing at the magnificent show that greeted him. It was a worthy performance. All of them jumping with such vigor and freedom. 

Hisoka would have loved it. 

Chapter Text

Hisoka was running through the woods that surrounded the Zoldyck mansion, dressed in his usual clown getup. He had managed to confuse the beast they called Mike enough to lose him. He was currently trying to avoid the butlers and their stations. He had Zetsu activated and Killua was guiding him through an earpiece they had received from Chrollo. 

He looked slightly better. He was fed, watered. Chrollo had even managed to convince him to shower. Even if Hisoka bitched the whole time trying to get them all to let him leave. It took days for them to plan this and fly over to Kukuroo mountain. They had compromised on this plan. Having Hisoka go in alone with support through the earpiece was the best option that they could come up with. They also tried to explain all the security details and such to Hisoka directly so he had an idea. How much of it he remembered, well… that’s what the earpiece was mainly for. 

They had even got Milluki to give Kalluto the security of the house. That didn’t go exactly how they would have liked. 

“You want what?” Milluki said through the phone. 

“I need the details of the security system of the house.” Kalluto sat on the couch with a pen in his hand and a paper on the table, ready to write down what was needed. 

“I can’t give you that.” 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No I can’t, I’m not allowed. Father will-”

“Father won’t do anything,” Kalluto interrupted, “He’s dead.” 

Milluki didn’t understand. He would not accept. The group was confused about this but figured it must have to do something with Illumi and his needles. So they let it go, leaving Milluki to believe whatever he wished. There was a small doubt in Kurapika’s mind that the great Sylva was actually dead. 

“Anyway, I need the security info. It’s for Illumi.” He added on. Kalluto knew that Milluki would do almost anything that he asked. Even if he complained about it the whole time. 

Milluki knew that this was Kalluto on the phone. He had secured the line as they were talking and Kalluto didn’t use any of the code words to say that he was under any sort of threat. There was no reason to doubt him, he was family after all. 

Milluki huffed over the line. Kalluto perked up, knowing he had finally done it. “I’ll send it through the usual means.” 

“Thank you Milluki. I need this as soon as possible.” 

“Okay, on it.” He hung up the phone. 

“That information should be here within the next day or two,” Kalluto told the group as they crowded around him. 

All the information that was given was when Kikyo looked at the cameras and when she was too busy to look at them. They were automatically displayed on her computer eyes, but there were a couple of times throughout the week when she was guaranteed not to look since she was too busy. Other than that the security was almost impenetrable. No corner of the house wasn’t monitored. Milluki also monitored the cameras, but not as frequently. He was supposed to watch them twenty-four seven, yet he set up a system that would alert him to any anomalies and would recognize any faces that were not familiar. 

They had decided that they would try for one of the times Kikyo was busy. It was only about a twelve-minute time slot. They also told Milluki not to alert anyone to their presence. He agreed, albeit reluctantly. 

Most people would not think this, but Milluki did take his job and responsibilities seriously. Even though he tried to brush it off as if he didn’t care. He knew Illumi got him this opportunity and he didn’t want to let his brother down. But there was a piece of him that understood that Illumi needed him to do this. So he did. 

Milluki sat in his desk chair flipping through cameras. He wanted to follow Hisoka’s progress as he made his way through the mansion grounds. Curious as to what Kalluto, Killua, and the rest of them were planning. 

He could see that Hisoka had already made it to the mansion itself. No longer in the woods. He looked at the clock perched on his desk. Hisoka had about eight minutes left. 

Hisoka snuck through a window. He hid inside a room as he could hear footsteps outside. 

“Okay, now you are going to go straight down the hallway to the right there should be a set of stairs. Go down those, they should lead to the dungeons.” Killua prompted through the earpiece. Killua was wringing his hands. This needed to work. They were almost there. He looked at the clock in his room. They had time. The second hand ticked mercilessly. Gon rubbed Killua’s back. Kalluto was sitting close to him. 

Hisoka continued down the hallway when there was no more noise and opened the door to the basement. There was no creaking, the door perfectly polished. 

He made his way downstairs. Footsteps inaudible. Careful yet quick. 

There was no more feedback from Killua or Kalluto. They didn’t know where he should go from there. Illumi had to be somewhere down in the dungeons. 

There were small flames that lined the hallway of the basement. The lights illuminated the stone funnel, doors popped up every so often. The first couple were mainly empty. Just filled with chains and weapons. 

Hisoka was starting to lose hope as he opened the second to last door. Illumi had to be there somewhere. 

The last one squeaked. The room almost pitch black. He could see a lump in the darkness with the small amount of light that seeped through around Hisoka’s looming figure. His steps felt different than they once had and he looked down. A small sticky puddle of blood stained the stone. Hisoka could no longer hear the questions being asked of him through the earpiece. 

He knelt down on the ground. His eyes finally adjusted to the darkness. 

There he was. Illumi. Hisoka ran his hand over Illumi’s cheek, tucking his hair behind his ear. 

“Oh, Illu…” He whispered. If he could do anything other than look at the state his beloved was in, he might have been crying. But his brain couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. 

There was deep red blood all over Illumi’s skin. Covering his pale skin so much so it barely even showed through. There were needles everywhere. Some with his signature gold globe on top. Others were thin and bland, almost invisible. But Hisoka was looking. He was looking at everything, taking in Illumi’s state piece by piece. 

He checks Illumi’s wrist for a pulse. It was there. Light but there. And that was at least what he hoped for. Illumi was still alive. Everything was okay as long as he was alive. 

Hisoka lifted Illumi’s head and chest. 

“It’s okay, everything’s okay.” He whispered sweet nothings into his unhearing ears. Wishing that anything and everything he said was true. It wasn’t. Not really. 

Illumi moved slightly, twitching, and his eyes opened. Hisoka sucked in a deep breath. Tears finally breaching his eyes and spilling over onto his lover's cheeks. His eyes were as big as Hisoka remembered yet they seemed that they held less of his consciousness than usual. 

“Illu dear, I’m here, I’m here. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” Illumi looked around and looked back up at Hisoka. He lifted a delicate hand and placed it on Hisoka’s cheek. His hand was shaking and ice-cold on Hisoka’s skin. 

He tilted his head as if he had a question, and his chapped lips parted. No words came out. He sucked in a deep breath that Hisoka could hear. Probably could hear if it wasn’t the only sound in the room it was agonizingly painful. 

“H-His…oka.” It was barely a whisper. Mainly just a movement of lips. Hisoka held him tighter, pulling him close to his chest. Illumi dropped his arm and swung to the ground. His head fell onto Hisoka’s shoulder. His eyes followed suit. 

“Is he okay?” Kalluto asked through the earpiece. 

“No, he’s not. But he’s alive,” Hisoka responded. 

“You need to go right now, Hisoka. You have about four minutes left.” Killua said with urgency in his voice. 

Hisoka would make it. He would lose now. He had Illumi and he wasn’t ever going to let anyone hurt him again.   

Chapter Text

The weight of Illumi in his arms gave Hisoka immense relief. They were reunited once more. But he couldn’t dwell on that right now. Couldn’t dwell in the delight that he was alive. Couldn’t dwell on the fact that not an inch of his skin was spared from the gore. Couldn’t dwell on the fact that he was lighter than he was before he left Hisoka’s abode. Couldn’t dwell on any of that. Because time was running out. 

He had two minutes left, and he wasn’t even out of the mansion yet. 

Milluki could see that time was running out. He watches as his mother fiddles in her lab on one screen. She was wrapping up. He fidgeted with a scrap of a computer piece as he watched the seconds tick by. 

Milluki had seen the state that Illumi was in. He couldn’t even fathom how that was possible. Training was never like that. It was brutal. Terrible. But they never left it on deaths door. It was designed to make them stronger. Not to kill them off. From the looks of it, it seemed as if they wanted to not only kill Illumi but also make it as painful as possible if the needles had anything to say about it. 

Surely he would have remembered this though, right? If something were to have happened between their parents and Illumi surely he would be the first to know. He often monitored the house, and he was always there. How could this have slipped by him? This was life-altering. It shifted the course of normalcy. Why would they even want to off Illumi? He was the most helpful Zoldyck to their parent's plans. 

“Damn Illumi. Where did you even put it?” He whispered to himself. He broke the computer piece in half. 

On one of the screens, he could see that Hisoka has finally left the mansion, but he still had miles of forest to traverse before he was safely off the estate with Illumi. He looked back at the clock. Thirty seconds left. He needed to do something. 

Oh, he was going to regret this. 

His fingers flew across his keyboard. The sound of his fingers punching in keys echoed through his room. The lights in his room blinked once. Milluki looked back at his cameras. All the screens were a dark grey. He leaned back in his chair. Good. It worked. Looking back at the clock he realized he barely had ten seconds left to spare. 

The whole system was rebutting. And that included Kikyo’s. It would only last for a couple of minutes, three at max. But by then, Hisoka should be outside the mansion. Even if he somehow ran into Mike again, he would still make it with time to spare. He had Illumi with him after all. 

Milluki ran his fingers through his hair. He really would like to regret this. It would be nice if he could. But he knew that it was worth it. It was worth it for Illumi. 

He straightened his toy dolls that littered his desk and waited anxiously for the cameras to come back on. He needed to be certain that everything was all okay. 

Hisoka wasn’t going to make it. He didn’t even want to know how much time he had left. He just needed to keep going. As fast as he can, really. There was no point in ruminating over the possibilities. He could change nothing now. 

Trees flew past him. He skittered over rocks and dirt. Killua kept saying things through the microphone. Hisoka wasn’t paying attention to his words. He was following the same path that he had gone before. 

At one point, he caught Mike hidden in the trees through his peripheral vision. Yet, he didn’t make a move to follow him. He thanked his lucky stars for that. He didn’t have time to deal with that rabid…dog? Although he couldn’t fathom why. He decided not to dwell. He needed to keep moving, putting one foot in front of the other. 

He scaled the giant wall with his Bungee Gum and landed on the other side safely. He took a second to process his victory. He had Illumi and he was free. 

“Did I make it in time?” Hisoka asked. There was a pause on the other end. 

“…No, but since you are not still inside I don’t think she found out,” Killua mumbled from the other side. He shook off his confusion. They weren’t done yet. “Get going to the location Leorio set up. You don’t want to be there when Kikyo finds out Illumi is no longer in the dungeons.” 

“Right. Right.” Hisoka said. “I think you are going to have to direct me. I might not have remembered it all.” In the back of his mind, Hisoka knew that he should be embarrassed. He couldn’t even care about that at all. He needed Illumi to be safe. He covered his wounds with Bungee Gum and hoped that Leorio would be able to heal him. 

He pulled Illumi closer to him and kissed his forehead, and started to make his way where Killua pointed him. He was almost there. Just a little further and he would be certain that Illumi was safe. He would be all healed up, and Hisoka would be there to protect him from any threats. 

Just a little further. 

Chapter Text

Hisoka ran all the way to a small hotel they had set up. Leorio was inside one of the rooms all ready with his medical gear. Kurapika, Killua, Gon, and Alluka were in a different room. They didn’t want to disturb Leorio’s process. Killua had relented to letting Alluka and Nanika come although begrudgingly. It was easier to keep her safe if she was close to them, but he didn’t particularly like the fact that she was back at Padokea. 

Hisoka was also anti hospitals. He did not trust the doctors with Illumi. And he knew that they would take him away somewhere where Hisoka could not protect him. He barely trusted Leorio, but this was the best they could get. 

Hisoka ran through the hotel with Illumi and immediately went to Leorio’s room. Killua had to remind him of the number through his earpiece. 

Once there, Leorio rushed him inside and urged Hisoka to set Illumi down on the bed that was already covered in sterile sheets. Leorio could see that the adrenaline from saving the assassin was starting to wear off and that Hisoka was beginning to panic. There was already sweat sticking the loose hairs onto his forehead. 

Hisoka laid Illumi gently on the bed, leaving a kiss on his forehead. 

“How does he look? Is he going to be okay?” 

“Give me a moment” Leorio responded. He looked over Illumi, cataloging his injuries in his mind, ripping clothes where needed. Once finished he got to work. He started by pulling out all of the needles from his skin and then worked on the biggest injuries, moving down to the smaller ones. 

Hisoka was restless. Leorio kept glancing over at him as he passed back and forth, hands fidgeting and mumbling under his breath. He kept running his hands through his hair and biting the nail on his thumb. 

Leorio sighed loudly, “You have to stop that, I need to concentrate on this.” That stopped Hisoka in his tracks. He nodded slightly and went to a chair. 

There were all of two minutes of silence before he began to shake his leg and fidgeted with some cards he had pulled out of seemingly nowhere. 

Leorio sighed once more. This wasn’t going to work. He needed full concentration, especially when he was working with some of the smaller details. There was no room for error. Even if Zoldyck’s were extremely pain tolerant and could do almost anything it seemed. They were not immortal. If Illumi lost too much blood or something else went wrong, he would die, and there would be nothing more Leorio could do for him. He wasn’t a miracle worker, he couldn’t bring someone back to life. 

“Wash your hands off with that rubbing alcohol over there, and come help me with this. I need an assistant.” Hisoka perked up at that and immediately did as he was told. Leorio gave him strict instructions like “Hold this right here, don’t move” and “grab me that tweezer-looking tool in the bag, yes that one.” And honestly, he could probably go without an assistant. Although, usually in the ER there would be people helping out with this sort of thing. Hisoka, though, was unqualified for such a task and made it a little difficult to get this done. It would probably be easier if he didn’t have him there. But, this was far better than Leorio being distracted by Hisoka’s antics. 

At this point, he imagined that Hisoka would have his head if he couldn’t save his beloved. 

Killua wasn’t faring any better in their hotel room. He was anxiously fidgeting with his hands. Gon was trying to calm him down, but it did not seem like it was working. 

Kalluto was propped on the bed, trying not to think of anything. It was easier to not think of anything than to imagine the strong Illumi Zoldyck lying on death's door a couple of rooms down.

Alluka didn’t really know what to do. She sort of wanted to cry. Her big brother was hurt. He was dying, but she knew that it would not do anyone good if she started to break down. She had to be strong. Kurapika sat next to her, rubbing her back. Even though she wouldn’t say anything, Kurapika knew that she needed this. 

With everything going on, Alluka and Killua didn’t have time to talk about anything. But he seemed different to her. He seemed more like he did before she was locked away. She hadn’t heard him say a single bad thing about their oldest brother. And he came all the way out here to save him. 

She knew from before that he had some sort of memory problems and that he had begun to despise their brother when she was locked away. Especially since he couldn’t even remember the code they had used their entire lives! How could he have changed views so quickly about Aniki in such a short period of time? With all these facts on her side, she knew that there was something wrong with her brother’s memory. Nanika agreed with her. Neither of them really had any clue on what to do, so they just let him be for now. But it felt like he was cured. How this happened, she didn’t know. 

When her Killua had come home just to tell her that they had to go to save Illumi she was surprised, sad, but also glad. She couldn’t stand the fact that Killua hated someone who cared so much about them, who tried so hard to protect them. So she was happy that he had finally remembered. 

And then came the sadness. She couldn’t lose Aniki.

It took hours for Leorio and Hisoka to patch all of Illumi’s wounds. Everyone waited, scared to do anything as if the very air was fragile. They were treading on dangerous waters. They were halfway there, but there were still so many ways this could all go wrong. 

Chapter Text

Illumi woke up to bright lights. It was too bright. He squinted in it. It was wrong. There were not supposed to be lights. That was the only thing that registered in his brain. He couldn’t pinpoint why exactly, but he knew. He knew it was supposed to be dark. 

Oh, right. He was supposed to be in the basement, his mother was supposed to come. He was supposed to be punished. He was supposed to be in pain. 

Resistance. He could feel some sort of resistance as he sat up. His eyes still failed to adjust to the room. Everything was washed in a faint film. The lights stretched and overwhelmed his vision. Blinking did nothing to help. 

He swung his legs over what was a… bed? Yes, a bed. It was rather comfortable. Something tugged at his skin, he kept pulling. There was a slight tension, a barely noticeable amount of pain. And the tension was gone. 

His legs were weak as he stood up. Useless. His body was so useless right now. His eyes failed, his legs were about to. His mind was still fuzzy. Everything ached. Only one thought was on his brain at this moment. 

He needed to go back. 

The colors faded to black as he stood on shaky legs. Opening his eyes, he was once again on the floor. The room looked a little clearer this time around. 

He was in a room. The walls were a faded orange color, maybe purple. It was hard to tell. There was a bed, and people sitting on chairs. Maybe they were sleeping, he couldn’t make out their faces. 

This time, he stood successfully and headed towards the door, pulling it open. He rushed outside. It was definitely a hotel, doors lined both sides of the hallway. He didn’t know how long he was away from home or how he got here, but he needed to hurry, maybe his mother had not realized he was gone yet. Maybe he could sneak back in. 

The door shut loudly behind him as he ran. 

Bang! Hisoka shot up out of his seat, immediately going to his lover to protect him after getting startled awake. Illumi was gone. He looked down at the bed where he had been just moments ago. There were patches of fresh blood on the sheets. The IVs that Leorio had put in Illumi laid on the empty bed speckled with more blood. 

Hisoka ran. 

There were no thoughts in his brain but to find Illumi. He didn’t even think about what could have happened to him. He just needed him back in his arms. He was just there. He was just there! How could he have gone? Hisoka thought that he shouldn’t have let Illumi out of his sight. He shouldn’t have closed his eyes or let his guard down. He should have been better! 

Leorio saw a flash of pink when he woke up. Hisoka was running out the door. It took him a couple of moments to get his bearings and look around the room. Hisoka left, the bed was empty. 

Leorio sighed. They had spent hours stitching Illumi back up. Why in the world was he out of bed!? His stitches are going to come out. He’s going to be bleeding everywhere! And there is a possibility that his wounds would get infected if that happens. Ugh! This is what he gets for dealing with these crazy people. 

There was no point in running after his patient. If Hisoka couldn’t track him down, Leorio would surely not be able to. He was probably just as tired as the magician and extremely less powerful. Instead, he started to get his tools ready, and the bed. Illumi better not have ruined all of his work. He didn’t want to spend hours redoing everything. 

Hisoka saw a flash of black hair turning the corner of the hallway. He saw him running towards one of the back exits of the hotel and caught him right as he had a hand on the door. Wrapping his arms around Illumi’s middle he held him in place. 

“Illumi! What are you doing?” Hisoka half-shouted, panic spilling into his voice. He couldn’t lose him, not again. Illumi struggled in his grip. Hisoka held him tight in place. He wouldn’t let him go. If Illumi was fully healed, he could have probably broken out of his grip, but he didn’t stand a chance against this Hisoka who was determined to keep him close. 

“I…I- need to go. Let me go! Let me go!” Illumi's voice was rustic. Hisoka could tell that he was trying to yell, trying to sound intimidating, but it came out desperate and pitifully quiet. “No no no, please. I need to go. I need to go.” 

Hisoka’s eyebrows rose. Begging was new. He had never heard Illumi beg before. He also never heard him sound so desperate before. 

Illumi fell to his knees, taking Hisoka with him. He was reaching for the door like he was going to claw through the air out into the open. Hisoka nuzzled his nose into the side of Illumi’s neck and whispered quiet reassurances. Illumi wasn’t listening, Hisoka knew this. He was too desperate. His mind stuck on one thought, and one thought only. 

It broke Hisoka’s heart. 

He continued to hold Illumi in place until all the fight drained out of his body and he fell limp onto Hisoka’s chest. Teardrops fell on top of Illumi’s hair. 

“It’s okay, Illumi dear.” He kissed the top of his head. “You’re safe now, I won’t let any of them hurt you again.” He picked Illumi up, bridal style, and started to head back to the hotel room. 

Illumi will never go back to the Zoldyck mansion. He will never see Kikyo again. Hisoka silently promised. 

Leorio was waiting with his tools back in the hotel. Hisoka set Illumi back on the bed and kissed his forehead one last time. Leorio got to work, redoing his stitches. Hisoka was going to stay awake this time. 

Chapter Text

This time when Illumi woke up there was little fanfare. He had sat up in his bed and looked around, taking in his whereabouts without sprinting off. He noted Hisoka and Leorio in the room and categorized his injuries in his head. Hisoka was monitoring Illumi’s every move and action with hawklike eyes. Leorio had made sure that he was medically okay, asking him common questions he often posed to patients. 

Illumi had answered Leorio’s questions easily, but his mind was elsewhere. Compartmentalizing every detail.

Hisoka had yet to say a word. 

Leorio was here. 

Leorio had patched him up. 

He was no longer home. 

He was at a …hotel? 

He needed to leave. 

He needed to run. 

Mother was going to be mad. 

Illumi did remember vaguely his last attempt at running away. Hisoka had dragged him back here. He suspected that he would try to do that again. And with his unrelenting gaze, it was going to be very difficult to get Hisoka off his tail. 

For the life of him, Illumi could not recall how he ended up here. He should have been at the mansion, there was no way anyone could have dragged him away. It should have been impossible. 

There was a knock at the door and Leorio stood up to go open it. Killua and Gon were there. Alluka and Kurapika stayed behind. 

Illumi figured that this was as good a time as any. He tossed his legs over the side of the bed, standing up. His vision had dimmed slightly and returned soon after. There was pain littered throughout his body, he could feel it more adamantly now. He ignored it. He brushed off invisible dust and straightened his clothes. Hisoka stood next to him and went to push him back down, but stopped short. 

Illumi ran his fingers through his hair. It was not as well groomed as he was used to. He sighed. Oh well, it couldn’t be helped now. He could only really care about such things when he had the capacity. And he didn’t now. A voice in the back of his head told him he never would again. He decided to ignore this. It was much easier for him to just ignore his thoughts, even if he knew that they were true. 

“Well, I should be heading out now,” Illumi said. He began to walk towards the door, only stopping when Hisoka held him back, gripping his arm tightly. Everyone had a look of shock on their faces. Illumi found this odd. He understood why Hisoka would try to keep him in his sights, but the other three? They should be jumping with joy that he was leaving. 

Ah, he must have missed something, he usually does. 

He ignored it. 

Illumi continued walking. Maybe it was the shock or the fact that Hisoka didn’t want to injure him further, but he let him go. 

Leorio was the first one to get his bearings. He stood in front of the assassin. Stopping him from preceding. 

“No, you can’t leave now. You are injured.” 

“No need to worry about me, I’m fine.” 

“Like hell you are! You were at death's door a couple of hours ago. Even with your weird Zoldyck genes, you are not ok!” 

Illumi sighed, this was going to be a pain, he couldn’t exactly kill Leorio in front of Killua. With his usual lack of verve, he stated, “It doesn’t matter, I need to leave.” 

“Where do you even half to be? Huh?”

“I need to go home.” 

“You are not going back there, Illumi!” Hisoka piped in, finally regaining some of his composure. Illumi turned around to face Hisoka. 

For a moment the image of a bloody and broken Hisoka replaced the tired one in front of him. Illumi blinked, and it was gone. Hmm… odd. 

“I have to, and I am going.” 

“Your mother was going to kill you! She was torturing you! You can’t just go back!” Hisoka was getting too emotional, Illumi thought, he was making this a bigger deal than it needed to be. 

Hisoka watched as Illumi massaged his forehead with his index finger and thumb. He looked exasperated. Hisoka wanted to steal that look from him! He was the one that should be tired of this conversation, it was Illumi who was talking nonsense. 

“If she was doing that, then she must have had a reason. Therefore I need to go back.” Now he had definitely stollen that look, although the features were more recognizable on Hisoka’s face. Because what the fuck? What was he even talking about? His mouth hung open, the questions already on his tongue, yet he couldn’t form them. Too many piled in his mouth, he didn’t know what to say. 

“So you are just going to waltz in there and let someone kill you because they had a reason? What?” Leorio said, joining the conversation while Hisoka opened and closed his mouth like a fish. 

“Since it is my family, yes. Plus the consequences will be worse if I try and avoid a punishment I deserve.” 

A germinal idea started to form in Killua’s head. More and more of his brother made sense to him now. And yet, a lot of it was still confusing to him. It felt as if there were alternate versions of Illumi that Killua knew, yet somehow, they were too similar to be distinguished. 

Leorio and Hisoka were ready to pounce on a new objection, mouths seething in lack of understanding. But Killua stopped them as he whispered a quiet “wait.” All eyes were on him now. Illumi was giving Killua his full attention as if he was a king commanding his court 

“Do you… do you not remember what happened?” Gon cocked his head to the side. Not quite understanding what obstacles Killua’s mind had jumped to nor what he meant behind it. Gon looked between the two brothers. Illumi seemed to have understood it better as he answered simply, “no.” 

Chapter Text

Killua was reluctant to let Alluka and Kalluto see Illumi after he woke. For all their sakes really. But Alluka and Kalluto were begging him since he had left them in the other hotel room with Kurapika so as to not overwhelm Illumi. 

When everyone gathered around the bed, they began to explain the events of the last couple of weeks, each person putting in their own two sense as the story continued. Killua monitored Illumi for any signs of… well… anything. But his face was as blank as ever. Even at the mention of their deceased father whom they assumed was killed by Illumi. 

When they had finished explaining everything, they sat in a moment of silence, waiting for Illumi to break it. 

“How has the troupe been Kalluto?” He asked. Killua was not expecting him to change the subject. But he clearly did not want to discuss it further, so he let it be. 

“It's good. Really good. I like it there.” Illumi nodded slowly. 

“That’s great. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, but you should get back to your life. I know you hate missing out on it.” 

“But-”

“Nah ah ah.” Illumi held out his pointer finger. “I don’t want to hear excuses.” Kalluto stayed quiet. 

He turned his head to face towards where Alluka was waiting next to his bedside table. “How has traveling with Kill been?” 

“It’s been so wonderful! I got to see so many cool things! And we just got a house! I have my own room!” 

“That’s nice. You should get back to it.” He turned to look at everyone in the room. “You all should get back to your lives, I am no longer in need of your assistance. But… thank you… for everything.” 

It was a dismissal if they’ve ever heard one. They wanted to protest. Especially Killua and Alluka, but they knew it was futile. At a dilatory pace, they all left the room. Illumi reached out to pull at the sleeve of Hisoka’s shirt as a silent plea to stay back. He nodded minutely. 

Kurapika and Leorio decided that they should head back to Yorknew. Kalluto had to return to the troupe. Gon, Killua, and Alluka thought that they should wait in the extra hotel room for a couple of days to make sure Illumi was good even though he clearly did not want to be disturbed. 

On the inside, Illumi was freaking out. He couldn’t display it on his face, not only because his siblings were there, but also because he didn’t know how to contort his face into anything akin to panic. The panic that he was currently feeling swirled down in his gut. Even worse than the stitches that covered his skin. 

He tossed the covers aside and stood up, grabbing onto Hisoka’s arm. 

“You should really not-” Hisoka began to protest, but stopped after he realized it was for naught. 

Illumi walked to the window and looked out. There were cars driving underneath him, some trees lined the pavement and people scurried from one location to another with arms filled with bags and briefcases. 

He had really messed up this time. It was all starting to come back to him. Not everything, but he could infer the rest based on what everyone had told him. He wished that they hadn’t come. He should probably go back home. He … he … never mind. 

“Can I have your phone Hisoka?” 

“Yes dear~” 

Illumi fiddled around with the device and set it under his ear. 

“Milluki, this is Illumi.” 

“Yes Illumi, I know that it’s you.” He said gruffly. 

“Are you… are you okay? Is everything alright there?” 

“I should be asking you that.” He sighed out, exasperated. “I mean, mom’s freaking out. But other than that everything is running as usual. I don’t think she caught on to wherever you are yet or else she would probably be there.” 

“Does she know of your involvement?” 

“No, not yet at least.”

“Okay, update me when you get new information. I’ll fix this.” 

“Okay” Milluki paused for a moment, tapping a pen against his desk, the light from his monitor showing the creases between his brows. “You know… you don’t have to. It’s not your responsibility to fix.” 

“No need to worry, I’ll fix it all.” 

Milluki sighed on the other line, “Okay, bye Illumi.” 

“Goodbye.” Illumi hung up the phone and handed it back to Hisoka. 

“He’s right, you know.” Hisoka ran his fingers through the expanse of Illumi’s hair. “You don’t have to fix your family. Your dad’s dead, you can move on, live your own life, you don’t have to live for your family.”

Illumi leaned his head, resting it on Hisoka’s shoulder. “No, I have to do this, it is my duty to protect them.” 

“I know dear.” Hisoka kissed the crown of Illumi’s head, “I had to at least try.” Hisoka intertwined his hand with Illumi’s, giving it a tight squeeze. He turned Illumi around and placed his hands on his shoulders. 

“Let’s fix this mess together, Illu, okay?” 

Illumi looked into Hisoka’s golden eyes. It has been a long time since he had seen those eyes. He had thought a lot about them, watched them lose their light. He hadn’t really thought that he would see them again. 

There was pressure behind his own eyes, but he shoved it back, ignoring it. 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do it together.” Illumi turned his eyes downwards to the ground, his forehead pressing into the soft fabric of Hisoka’s shirt. He felt strong arms wrap around him and hold him tight. He wanted them to stay like this forever. 

Illumi thought at that moment that if he could only be in one place for the rest of his life, he would like it to be right here, in Hisoka’s arms. He could die happy here. 

And for the first time, a thought that he had pushed back and forbad himself from ever solidifying shone brightly in his mind's eye. 

He didn’t want to go back home. 

Chapter Text

Illumi remembered everything now. But it was all slightly too far back in his mind for him to feel it. Like most things in Illumi’s life. There wasn’t any point in thinking about it right now. All he had to do was complete the tasks on his list and then he can relax. Then he can understand and really feel all the mistakes he has made. 

Step one, go back home and make sure Milluki was okay. 

Step two, sort out the family business. 

Step three, settle his sibling's whereabouts and fortify their information. 

That was as far as he had gotten on his plan. Those were the most important things anyway, after that it doesn’t really matter what he does. He needs to protect his family in order of who is in the most danger. First, that is Milluki, then there is the danger posed to the family because of his mother, through the family business. And lastly, he needs to secure the funds and protection of his siblings. Then they should be safe. They have to be safe. 

An arm dropping over his shoulders started Illumi out of his stupor. Illumi looked up at Hisoka. He looked almost the same as how he remembered him, except a little less put together than usual. 

Illumi jerked away. 

An image of Hisoka’s broken and bleeding body and his lifeless eyes momentarily replaced the Hisoka that was alive and talking. 

“What is it Illu?” Hisoka’s mouth turned downwards. It was an odd look on him. Illumi looked deep into his golden eyes, his hand reaching up to caress Hisoka’s cheek without even a signal from his brain. 

“Nothing.” Illumi said, forcing his hand back down and turning back towards the window, shaking his head slightly. Something must be wrong with his brain, his body is moving without his control. And there was a feeling in his gut that only left him when he turned away from Hisoka. Did that used to happen? He wasn’t sure. Another thought he decided to push into the back of his mind to bring to the surface later, when he had the tools to deal with it. 

Or maybe never, that would work too. 

Hisoka rose an eyebrow at Illumi, unbeknownst to the man. It was almost like the man in front of him was only an impressive facsimile, but just slightly different from the one whom he had known. 

Illumi always had many secrets that he buried deep inside his mind, Hisoka knew this. He could almost see them poking out under the layers of dirt Illumi tried to hide them in. He wanted to dig them up, let them out to see the light of day so that Illumi could heal. 

It wasn’t the time for that. Illumi wasn’t ready. 

But Hisoka would wait. He would be here, for whatever Illumi needed him for. And if he ever did want to unbury his secrets, he would be here too, ready to pick up the pieces of Illumi and put him back together again. 

“What now, love?” Hisoka asked, looking back towards the window. 

“First, we have to go back to my house.” Hisoka could barely hold himself from sighing. 

Yes he would be here.