Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Has anyone seen her lately?”, Naruto asked, looking hopefully in the crowd of his friends.
“No, not since the funeral last week.”, Ino answered sadly while shaking her head.
“Yea, she is hiding in the district and won’t let anyone in to see her. We have tried multiple times.”, Sai agreed while putting his arm around his pregnant wife. Naruto sighed.
“M- Maybe she really wants to be alone. Maybe we should greet her wish. She suffered more than any of us.”, said Hinata heavily pregnant as well.
“I have lost him, too, you know.”, Naruto answered angry. His wife looked shocked. He never raised his voice against her, not like this.
“I-I know. I am sorry, honey.“ Naruto kissed the forehead of his wife and then pulling her into a hug.
“If this had been me, I don’t know how, or better, if I could face the world ever again.”
“Ino, I know you could because you are stronger than anyone else here except maybe Sakura, so she can make it too.”
“Thank you Babe.” Sai kissed his wife and smiled to her.
“Enough of your sweet talk. I am going to see her.”
“Naruto, wait. The Hokage wanted to see you. We should just give her some space and time. She will come around. She just has too.”, said Ino the grief still hearable in her voice. Naruto stopped in his tracks. He nodded and made his way not to the Uchiha district but to the Hokage tower. The rest of his friends went to their own houses.
Naruto knocked on the door and waited for his permission to go in. A few moments later, he entered.
“Hokage-sama you wanted to see me?”
“Drop the title, Naruto. I have a name and yes, I wanted to see you.”
“What’s wrong Kakashi-Sensei?”
“Naruto…”, Kakashi paused and took a heavy breath, “how are you?”
Naruto snapped. He hated that question. Nobody cared how he really feels; everybody just wants to hear that he is fine. How is someone fine after he was seeing his best friend’s corpse? How can he get over something like this? How should Sakura? “As expected. How did you feel after Obito's death?”
Kakashi sighed.
“I know how I felt, that’s why I am asking you. He was your best friend. You did everything and more to bring him back to this village. I just want to make sure that you are okay and don’t go the same route that I went after Obito died.”, Kakashi said quietly. He knew a lot of people had asked him this very question, and he knew that Naruto probably lied to all of them. But he wouldn’t allow Naruto to lie to him too. After the war, Naruto became one of Kakashi's important people, and he would try to keep his important people save as good as he can. Actually, he didn’t fear for Naruto that much. He still had his wife, a baby on the way, and he would become Hokage in less than ten years. Furthermore, Naruto knew grief and how it feels and what it does to a person. He had lost his parents, his master Jiraiya, who was more like a grandfather, a pervy grandfather, but still a grandfather nonetheless, to him, and now he lost his best friend. His two best friends to be precisely, his team, his family especially when Sakura didn’t recover from this loss. Sakura... most of his thoughts were around her. Ever since she came home from this mission. Lord first (God), he wished he could turn back the time and didn’t assign the last Uchiha and his wife to this mission. It was a simple mission, nothing complicated. Bringing a scroll to Suna and then come back. In and out, all done in a week, and then everything would be fine. Nobody could have known or even assumed that this would be the outcome of this mission. She must hate him. He knew she hates or at least resents him. He was the one who assigned them to the mission.
“How... how are you, Sensei?”
“I am sad.”, he said truthfully. It was not a lie he was sad, but he wasn’t sad about the loss of Sasuke Uchiha, not primarily at least. He had always feared that Sasukes change for the better was only temporary. His gut told him, that one day Sasuke Uchiha would turn against his friends and his village once more and that they all had to pay the price for it, but he also wanted to believe in this young man full of hope and love, and he wished his gut feeling to be false just this once. He wished for nothing more than Sakura happiness, and now? Now he mourned the loss of his very favourite person – Sakura. After the war and everything they went through as colleagues, war buddies and then friends she somehow managed to get through his walls and that rather easily and became his best friend. Sure he could always count on Gai or Genma but Sakura, she was his rock whenever he needed one. He knew he had lost that. He had lost her, and he felt selfish and stupid for it. Not only that, but he couldn’t bring himself to visit her and help her with her grief, because he feared the thought of her not wanting him around. Knowing that this very action would push her further away from him.
“I guess I am sad too and angry. Yea… mostly I am angry.”
“At whom?”
“Sorry?”
“Who are you angry at, Naruto? Is it Sasuke?”
“No, I am not angry at him. I don’t know Sensei. I am mad and angry at everyone and no one at the same time. It is frustrating and I miss him. I do, but I miss her more. Sasuke was away most of the time. I can cope with that, even if I know that he will never come back. I believe he is with Itachi again and his parents, and that he is watching over all of us. But Sakura, she was there for me. She was always there for me. I know she is your best friend, but she is mine too, she is my sister so to speak, and I miss her. I hate it that I cannot talk to her or even see her. I am afraid for her. I don’t know if she has eaten enough or sleeps enough. For heaven’s sake, I don’t even know if she is still alive. I mean, I know. I went into Sage-Mode last night and made sure her chakra signature is still there, but you know what I mean. I am angry at her that she doesn’t talk to me, and then I am angry at myself because I am angry at her. I even shouted at Hinata, and she is pregnant and needs all my support, but all I can think of is Sasuke's dead body and the look on Sakura’s face.”
Naruto’s voice broke, and some single tears went down on his cheeks. Kakashi simply waited and allowed a small break of the conversation to make sure Naruto said everything he wanted to say and got his emotions back on track. Then he asked:
“So you haven’t heard of her?”
“Nothing since the funeral. And you have seen her at the funeral. She was even more skinny than before, and even though her body was there, her mind wasn’t. She looked like she had cried every second since the moment he died. She probably has.”
“She looked like a corpse.” Kakashi said.
“Yea, and that terrified me. I have already lost him. I am not ready to lose her too.”
Kakashi nodded silently, looking at his feet.
“Can - can you talk to her?” Kakashi looked up, and his gaze meet Naruto's.
“Me?”
“Yea, you. You are her person too, you know. Listen, I know you are not comfortable helping someone cope with their emotions, you never were. I don’t even believe you are good at it. Nevertheless, she chose you to be her person, her best friend and right now she needs her best friend. She needs you. So get your ass up and go to her.”
“So you are also angry at me?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
“I think you don’t.”
“What?”
“You think I am mad that you sent Sasuke on this mission, but that’s not the case here. He was a Shinobi, we die on missions, that’s life. That’s how we earn our living, and we all know that. Nobody will ever be furious about that. I am pissed because of all people in this world who care for her and want her to be happy, the only person who can actually help her cope is you, and you don’t even seem to care. You didn’t go to her once after his death, but she needs you, of all people. That’s what make me mad the most.”
“You can be very smart, Naruto.”
“Yea, but most of the time I get a headache. So will you go to her?”
“I will.”
“Today?”
“Yes, today.”
“Promise me, that you will do everything that is needed to fix her.”
“I promise I will do everything, as long as it is in my power.”
“Good. It will be good for you too, you know.”
Kakashi nodded and then waved Naruto closer to him. Naruto obeyed and gets closer to him. Kakashi was hugging Naruto tightly, much to Naruto’s surprise, after he was ruffling through his hair.
“And now go back to your pregnant wife.”
“Yes Sensei.”
“And Naruto”, said Kakashi while Naruto is nearly out of his office, “drop the Sensei too. We fought in a war together, but moreover it makes me feel old.”
“You are old, Kakashi, your first two grandbabies are on the way. You are practically an old man.”
“I would consider myself more as the uncle of these children.”
“Grandpa, that’s all you get. Take it or leave it.” Naruto smirked, then left the office. He knew very well that Kakashi would be happy with every title they would give him. Even if it is grandpa. And Kakashi he knew too, that he will be the proudest grandfather these children will ever get. In case of Sai’s child, he will be the only grandfather, but he knew Inoichi very well, and he will do his very best to fill the hole that his death had left.
But right now he needed to concentrate on someone else. Sai and Naruto would be fine. He called it a day soon after the talk with Naruto. He knew better than let this opportunity of meeting Sakura go waste because the next time Naruto will use force.
He found himself on Sakura’s doorstep way too quickly. The Uchiha district in which they moved after their wedding was on the outside of the village, but still it only took him a couple of minutes to be in front of Sakura’s house. By now, he knew all the shortcuts to the Uchiha district. Before, he spent a few hours every day, or at least nearly every day, together with Sakura. He often visited her during his lunch break. He knew she went home in her lunch break. They sat together and ate a home cooked meal. It was kind of a routine for both of them. He had stopped at Ichiraku’s and got some soup and a bottle of Sake. He didn’t want to stand in front of her empty-handed. Not after this long period. But now he had no excuses to not knock on her front door.
She had sensed him a long time before he knocked. He was standing in front of her door for at least 5 minutes. She didn’t want to respond at first, but after seeing how long it actually took him to knock, she decided to open the door for him. She didn’t care she looked exactly how she felt, which was terrible, but she also knew that he wouldn’t care too. Even though he looked a bit surprised to see her open the door. Neither of them said hello. Sakura simply opened the door and stepped a few steps aside so Kakashi could enter.
The first thing he noticed after she had opened the door was how skinny she actually has got. She was always slim and delight, but now, she looked unhealthy and dead. Her cheekbones were more visible as usual and even her collarbone was quite obvious. If he hadn't been concerned before, he would be now. He put the soup and the Sake on the kitchen table, then he turned around. She looked at him, waiting.
“Sakura,” he started his voice was dimmed and soft, “I am so sorry. I-“
“Listen, Kakashi if you're just here to pity me, then you can go right away. I don’t need anyone’s pity.”
“I would never pity you Sakura.”
“Then what do you want? If it is the mission report. I-“
“No Sakura, I don’t want the mission report. That has time. I am here because I am concerned about you and so is Naruto and the rest. You don’t talk to any of them.”
“I talk to you.”
“Do you? I am here for you. If you want me to. I will always be there for you. I have got some soup and some Sake. We can eat together just like usual, and then we can talk or be silent, whatever you prefer. But you look dead, and that is frightening. Look, you have survived the mission and the last few days, haven’t you? So you will survive the next days.”
“But that is the whole problem, isn’t it?”
“What exactly?”
“That I survived. I wish I wouldn’t have. I wish I am as dead as he is.” Kakashi had known many states of Sakura’s emotions, but an emotionless Sakura. That’s something he had never experienced, and it scared the shit out of him.
“Don’t say that.”
“Don’t say what, Kakashi? The truth? I wish I died with him. I have lost my husband, the love of my life and the future we deserved. The moment he died, my happiness and my future died with him. And I am angry. I am so fucking angry, I want to tear the world apart. I want to kill each and every one of these bandits all over again, and then I want to kill their loved ones too. I want them to burn in hell for all eternity. I am so angry at him. How could he be so foolish and jump in front of me, to safe me. Me. Do you know how often he had tried to kill me? Still in this moment he decided my life worth more than his, and then he died. Didn’t he know that my life would be worthless without him? How could he do that? We just found each other. I am so furious, why didn’t he see our luck before, why did he waste so much of his time with hate? We could have had years together if he had not wasted so many of them while seeking revenge. A year, that’s all I got. A year full of happiness, and now he is dead. He will never kiss me again; he will never say my name again. I will never hear him breathe again. I will never see his face or smell him again. They robbed that from me,” she started crying, but her rant wasn’t quite over,” They robbed my heart and my future and I hate the world for that. How is this fair? Orochimaru had murdered hundreds of people, he even died for fuck's sake and still he is breathing just fine. But my husband, he will never be alive again. He will never meet-“ That is when her voice broke completely. She was about to collapse on the floor, but Kakashi was there to hold her. She started to cry hysterically. He knew he cannot argue against her rant. He had felt those emotions before, but they would fade, slowly but in the end they will fade. She will recover from this. She is so much stronger than he ever was and still he made it through and so will she.
He held her for the next hour, and she didn’t stop crying. He thought she would be asleep by now, but she wasn’t. She was still awake, but she regained her self-control. She began to breathe steadily, and hearing her breath is the most beautiful sound he had ever heard since the incident in his apartment all the years back. He was stroking her hair the whole time. He knew that this was calming for her and the first knows she needed it. He was never quite fond of the idea of being close to someone physically out of the context of sex, but for Sakura he left his comfort zone willingly. She left hers often enough in the past for him, therefore was it only fair if he would do the same for her.
“I can reheat the soup if you want.” He said after making sure she was ready for him to let go of her.
“I don’t think I will keep the food down, but I am hungry.”
He nodded and reheated the meals. He put the soup in a bowl and brought it to her. She started to eat right away, and he didn’t mind. As long as she eats, everything will be alright. Then he puts two Sake-glasses on the table and poured some Sake in them.
“Oh I don’t think I… I mean…”, with that she stood up and ran towards the bathroom. She didn’t close the door and Kakashi hurried behind her. What was wrong with her? He reached her and saw that she threw up. He held her hair and patted her back while she throws up. Now he really was worried. He should ask Shizune tomorrow to follow him around. So she can do a full medical check-up because throwing up on Ichiraku’s soup is definitely not normal.
“Are you okay?”
“Yea, I am just not quite used to the nausea.”
“Are you sick?” he asked without hiding how worried he is about her.
“No, not quite sick. I am pregnant.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi stood there in silence. He was literally too stunned to speak right now. She was pregnant. Pregnant. He knew they wanted to have a child and that sooner than later, but right now? He wasn’t sure he should be happy about it or concerned. Of course, these were great news. Sakura was pregnant with a child she always wanted to have and the Uchiha bloodline was not extinct, at least not completely, but still it felt weird. How was he supposed to act? She most certainly did not want to raise her child alone or be widowed when it is born. It will bring a lot of complications in her life. This child is the sole heir or heiress of the Uchiha Wealth, and the council will do anything in their power to form that child how they think it's best. Of course, Sakura will be its legal representative, but it will bring a lot of complications and work to her. He will make sure, that the council stays out of its childhood and if this kid inherited the sharingan he would teach them anything he knows about it. He still didn’t know how he should feel about this new information, but as long as Sakura is happy, he will be, too.
“I- I don’t really know what to say. Are you happy about it?” He asked shyly.
“No, yes, I don’t know. Sasuke knew. I have told him that I am pregnant on the day he died. That’s why he protected me. He knew I cannot use my Byakugō Seal while being pregnant. It would kill the fetus. It all happened so quick, in one minute we were laughing and thinking about baby names and whose hair it's going to have and whose eyes and in the next he takes a hit for me. A hit that I could have dodged or survived.”
“He didn’t want to risk it. He didn’t want to risk your wellbeing and life. The life of his child.”
“My wellbeing… but I am not well now, am I?”
“You will be. I know you don’t see it right now, but you will survive this, and you will be stronger in the end. You will have a piece of him with you for the rest of your life, and this child will have everything that it may need. Naruto, Sai, Ino, Hinata and most certainly me, we will all help you and love this child.”
“I am not quite sure if Sai is really able to love my child.” She looked at him, and then she caressed her belly.
“Yes, okay maybe not Sai, but who knows, maybe he surprises all of us. He loves Ino and he will love his child. We will bring him around somehow, if you want to. This baby will have everything.”
“It will not have a father.” The tears were starting to form in her eyes again.
“Sakura… no, not a biological one, but Naruto and I will make sure that you and your child will have everything that is needed.”
“I have never imagined you to be the fatherly type.” She said mockingly. Then she stood up and went back to the kitchen table. They both knew she was swallowing her tears as good as she can. But still Kakashi followed her with a light smile on his face. She was teasing him and that was a good sign. He was sure she will make it.
“Mah, mah, Sakura, I have raised you guys, and you turned out quite well.”
“That’s not how I recall it. I was raised by my parents, and then it was me who raised Naruto and Sai and even you a bit. I am the mom of our team.”
“When you are the mom of the team, then I am most certainly the dad.”
“I am pretty sure that spot is taken by Yamato.”
“You may be right, but I like my version better. Even though you two could have made a better job, I mean Sai still doesn’t understand the full range of human emotions and Naruto still eats ramen 24/7 and –“ He teased her as well.
“And you are still an asshole. I know.” She started to smile through her tears, and he counted that as his first victory. Then he closed the gap between them again and hugged her tightly. She embraced the hug willingly.
“I will be okay, will I?” She asked, her face still buried in his chest and tears still running over her cheeks.
“You most certainly will be.”
“When does it stop to hurt?” and there it was, the question he dreaded the most. He could say the thing he always said in those moments. The pain will fade. That’s what he was telling himself all those years, but it wasn’t the truth. Everybody who has lost a loved one knows it was a lie. A lie that helps you through the worst, but still a lie.
“I will never stop hurting, Sakura. I don’t want to lie to you, but your heart will get used to the pain and grow stronger and then someday you will find yourself crying over the memories of Sasuke all over again, but you will not cry out of sorrow, but of happiness because those will be the memories you will cherish to the end of your life.” Sakura took a deep breath. She was thankful that he chose to be honest with her instead of lying into her face. Was it what she wanted to hear? No, but that didn’t matter, not for her. It was the truth, and the truth is always better than comforting lies. She trusted him. She trusted him more than she did Naruto or Sai, even Sasuke. It is true. He was her best friend, the one person that always had her best interests in mind. Sure, Sasuke came along and truly loved her and made her happy, but the bond that Kakashi and her shared was deep and will always be deep. He comforted her on the rooftop of the hospital all those years ago. It was a lie, a lie that he regretted. They talked about it a couple of years ago, and she told him that she would rather have the ugly truth than a beautiful lie, and after that he never lied to her again. Sure, he sparred her from some of his thoughts concerning the last Uchiha, but she never asked him about Sasuke, so it didn’t count as lying. He was the one saving her from falling into the lava in one of those wicked dimension that Kaguya has sent them, and he caught her more than once. She truly trusted him and if he said she will make it, that it was probably right, even if she couldn’t convince herself.
“Kakashi. Thank you. I know this isn’t easy for you. You have lost your favourite student, too, and still you are here and comfort me.”
“As I said, I will always be there for you. What makes you believe, that Sasuke was my favourite? I would never favour him over you.” He loosed the hug and then cupped her face with his hands, wiping away all her tears with his thumb.
“But you did. Back then, when we were genin, you told him all your jutsus and Naruto and I were just a burden. Well, I was a burden, Naruto was just – Naruto.”
“Yes, I was quite dumb back then.”
“Yea, you most definitely were. Heavens, you still are.” She closed her eyes and pushed her face slightly in his hands.
“Probably”, he whispered, “what do you want to hear? That you are my favourite? You are and you know that.”
“Yes, I know, but it is nice to hear it from time to time.”
“I think; I can manage that.” She opened her eyes again and looked straight in his. A small smile crossed over her face. He felt warm. He knew those eyes, and he knew the person behind it. She was a bit more herself in this moment and that was an achievement he never thought of making. Naruto seemed to be right, which happened annoyingly a lot lately, he was what she needed right now, and he needed her. This was good for both of them. She felt it, too. There was a shift in her, from I will never in my life recover from this to maybe, maybe one day I will be able to go out again.
They parted and sat down in comfortable silence. He reheated his soup again and ate it, then he took out his favourite orange book as she closed her eyes. She must be tired, and he wanted to make sure she isn’t alone, when she wakes up from the nap. His gut told him, that she probably has nightmares. He had them, too. He still has them. And as usual, his gut feeling was right. She was sleeping for about an hour when she started to move hastily. Not long after that she started to talk, not talking really, more a whimper. It was time to wake her up. She shouldn’t relive this moment again. So he stood up, walked over to her, sat down next to her chair and started to shake her softly. I didn’t take much time for her to be awake again. The horror was still in her eyes. She wasn’t ready to meet his gaze, so she looked at the ceiling.
“I could stay. If you want me to.”, he said after a short while, “you did the same for me, remember?”
“Yea, but I don’t think this is necessary. I have to get used to sleeping alone.”, she answered sadly. He nodded.

“But thanks, if I ever need it, I will ask. I promise.” He gave her his eye creased smile and then stood up again. I was time for him to go home. She realized that, too, and also stood up. They moved to her door, and he hugged her once more.
“You would tell me, if you need help or someone to look after everything once in a while, right?”, he asked.
“I thought that’s what you will be doing.”
“Right. I will be here again tomorrow around lunchtime. There is a new Steak House and I wanted to test it. You’re allowed to eat steak in your condition, right?”
“As long as it is well done, there is no problem.”
“Great. I will see you tomorrow, then. And if anything is the matter, you know where I live, just come to me. I will tell the Anbu, that they should let you through anytime, day or night. You don’t have to be alone, if you don’t want to.”
“Thanks.” They parted again, and he moved out of her house.
“Kakashi?” He turned around. Her voice was trembling again.
“I want to tell them myself about, you know. I am not quite ready for it yet, so could you please keep it a secret?”
“Your secrets are safe with me. They always will be. Good night Sakura-chan.” He turned again, put his hands in his pockets and walked home. She closed the door behind her and went to bed. She is grateful that she had him in her life. He would help her through it.

The next morning came, and it was nothing unusual for him. He woke up, did his training, then showered. He had his breakfast and then made his way to the cenotaph. Furthermore, he stopped spending too much time there since the war has ended. He was able to say goodbye to Obito as a friend, and he forgave himself for Rin. It freed him. Who would have known, that a world war would ultimately heal his broken soul? The war and Sakura to be exact. He greeted some of the locals on the way to his office, and he was looking forward to his lunch break. He opened the door to his office and to his surprise, Shizune was not there yet. That was weird, and it only could mean one of two things. Somebody important has a serious health condition, and she is the only one who can do it, or they are at war. The second one was unlikely because he would have known if his village was at war. So he wondered who it is, that’s need Shizune’s care. Nevertheless, he started to work. He wanted to be finished with the mission rolls and the distribution of the new missions that just got in. Everything needs to be approved by the Hokage, and he hated it. Most of the stuff was not even necessary for him to know, but it was his job and he had devoted his life to his village. He still yearned for some news or excitement. Something that would stir up his boring morning. And just as he wished, someone knocked on his door and didn’t even wait for him to do allow entrance. Maybe they were actually at war. It was Naruto who made his way into the Hokage office rather harshly.
“What’s the matter, Naruto?”
“It’s Sakura. She is in the hospital. No one wants to tell me anything.”, he said. His voice full of worry and his face full of fear. Kakashi didn’t even reply. He got up and left. He jumped from rooftop to rooftop until he reached the hospital. Sure, he isn’t her emergency contact neither were they blood related, but they are family. He marched through the front door, all heads are turning to him. He couldn’t care less.
“Where is she?”, he asked straight forward.
“Who, Hokage-sama?”, answered the woman on the front desk.
“Sakura, where is she?”
“I am sorry Hokage-sama, but I am not allowed to say anything. You’re neither her relative nor her spouse or emergency contact.”
“I don’t care what I am or not. I am the Hokage, and she is my… my family. I want to know how she is. Immediately.”
“I am sorry, but I am legally not allowed to tell you, and you cannot pressure me into obeying this is a policy to protect our patients and I will not allow you to compromise this.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had the highest rank within the village, and still he was not allowed to see her. That was ridiculous.
“Mei, it is okay. I will take it from here.”, said a female voice behind him. It was Shizune, he recognized her voice within the first syllable.
“Thank you, Shizune-san.”, said the woman behind the desk, and the continued to work.
-----
As soon as Sakura woke up, she sensed that something wasn’t right. She had pain in her abdomen and like a period cramp. Immediately she let chakra flow through her body as far as she could sense it, the baby was alright. But the pain didn’t fade. She decided to make herself some breakfast and see what the day brings. Who knows, maybe she would be able to go in the garden. Sasuke had made sure that the garden was the most beautiful and magic place that she had ever seen. The garden was where their life together began. She ate some spoonful of rice porridge and waited for the nausea to hit, but instead there was this pain again, and it was stronger than before. Fear, that was the only emotion she had felt. If she lost this child too, she would not want to live any more. She would be the failure that she thought she is. She couldn’t lose the last part of him. Not now, not when she needed this so much. She ran to the bathroom and looked down in her pants, and the fear just got worse. There was blood in her underwear. This is not good, not good at all. She needs to go to the hospital. She took her bag and ran off to Shizunes house. It was closer than the hospital, and it was early enough for Shizune to be home. She rang the doorbell quite a view times until Shizune opened the door for her.
“Sakura, what’s the matter?”
“I think I am losing my baby.” She said, tears in her eyes and her voice about to break. Shizune started to function right then and there. There was no time to lose. She let Sakura in and sculptured the green medical chakra in her hands. Immediately, she went over Sakuras abdomen. The pain was immense, Shizune could feel that, too. The baby was healthy, but still she was starting to have a miscarriage. All the possible outcomes went through Shizunes mind while she was looking for the piece of information she needed to save this child, the very last Uchiha.
----
Kakashi was in distress. He could not even breathe properly. He had wished for some action, but this is not what he had in mind. Not only that, but he knew if Sakura loses this child, she will lose her will to live completely and no one would be able to bring her back. And he wasn’t ready for this. Losing Sakura like he had lost his dad? It would end him, too.
“Come.” Shizune said calmly. He obeyed and followed her into a private room. She shut the door and looked at him. She was angry, but more over annoyed.
“What on earth is wrong with you Kakashi?” this was the first time since he was announced that she didn’t use his proper title. He told her like everyone else that she should just call him by his name, but right now it scared him, and he wished to never hear her say just his name again. “I cannot, and I will not allow you to harass my staff. This poor woman was just making her job. You cannot storm in and demand information upon a patient you are not related to. I don’t care if you see her as your family or not. You were about to abuse your power and position, that is not tolerable. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes I understand. I will never harass your staff again or will use my title to get information.”
“Good. I hope I don’t have to repeat myself ever.”
“You won’t, but how is she?” Shizune looked at him, she was still angry, but nonetheless she could see the distress clearly in his face.
“She is alright.”
“Thank god. And-?”
“They are both alright. You knew about the baby?” The relief on his face was unmissable. And that was the first time a thought plopped into Shizune’s head which she never even imagined appearing in her head. Was it his baby? Sure, Sakura was married, but this wouldn’t be the first child born like this, and they were close. Ever since, the war has ended. It made quite a rumour back then that they were secretly dating, which was dismissed the second the Uchiha made up his mind and asked her out. Internally, shaking her head, she pushed that thought away. There is no way Sakura would have cheated on Sasuke especially not with Kakashi. But still, they had stranger things happened here in Konoha, hadn’t they.
“Yes, she told me last night. Am I allowed to see her?”
“Yes, yes. She actually asked me to fetch you. That’s why I left her in the first place. Do you promise me to behave?”
“Yes, I will behave.”
“Fine, then follow me please, Hokage-sama.”

Chapter Text

Shizune guided Kakashi to Sakuras room and then knocked. They both entered her hospital room quietly. Kakashi was still tense. Shizune told him she was fine, but he needed to see it with his own eyes. Sakura heard the knock on her door and turned her head to the door.
“Oh, that was quick.” Sakura said surprised, after she saw Kakashi enter her room.
“He was already at the hospital.” Shizune answered.
“Oh… is… is everything alright, Kakashi? You are not ill, are you?”
“No, I am not. I am here because of you. Naruto stormed into my office and told me you are at the hospital. What has happened?” He said while moving closer to her bed.
“He was harassing the staff until I interfered. He wanted to know where you are. Can you believe it?” Shizune said jokingly.
“Kakashi harassing the staff? Yes, that his usual behaviour when he is in the hospital, but because of me? That’s hard to believe.”
“What do you mean? I would never harass the hospital staff, you know that.” Kakashi held his hands up in a defensive gesture.
“Yea, whatever Kakashi.” Sakura smirked.
“Mah, mah Sakura. I have already told you, you are my favourite, so what made you believe I wouldn’t come and check on you?” Sakura looked at him. A small smile across her lips and a sparkle in her eyes that haven’t been there since the death of her husband. Shizune realized this immediately.
“I will leave you to it. I will be back in 30 minutes. Then I will have the results of the blood work, and hopefully I can send you home again.” Shizune left and the second time the thought of Kakashi and Sakura as a thing plopped into her head. Kakashi made himself comfortable on a chair next to Sakuras bed.
“Sakura… what has happened?”
“Nothing actually. I had a pain in my abdomen. I checked the baby, and it was okay, but then it got worse and there was blood in my underwear and I panicked. I ran to Shizune and she saved the baby. There was something wrong with the bloodstream to my uterus, but it is fixed now and the baby and I will be just fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Naruto must be worried sick. Can you fetch him for me?”
“Sure. Should I go to him now?”
“Yes, that would be nice.”
“Your wish is my command.” Kakashi answered and stood up. He smiled at her and then left her room. Sakura was tired. This was stressful, and she wanted to have some quiet moments before every one of her friends will corner her and demanding answers because they were worried. If Naruto had known that she was in the hospital, then Hinata would know, too. She probably told Ino and by now the rest of their friends knew, too. Sakura was thankful for having friends that were worried about her and loved her unconditionally, but they could be a menace, too. She loved all of them, nothing less because of it.
Naruto had waited at the Hokage office after Kakashi had left without a word. Kakashi looked frightened, and that’s unusual. He started to worry even more because of it. Kakashi knew something that Naruto didn’t know, something about Sakura. He was glad that she decided to talk to Kakashi. Even though it hurt him a bit, that Sakura chose Kakashi to be her person instead of him. He would be there for her too, if she let him, but she chose Kakashi and nobody can do something against it. So Naruto waited patiently. Even Shizune wasn’t around by now, so it must be something important. She was probably with Sakura, fixing whatever is wrong with her. Naruto quietly moved to the Hokage desk and took a seat in this extremely comfortable chair. Now he understood how Kakashi could take naps in here. He started to scan the desk. A lot of important paper lie around. He wasn’t going to look at the papers too closely. He was not the Hokage and some of these scrolls are top secret. Therefore, it was none of his business. So he closed his eyes and leant his head back. This will be his future. He will be the Hokage in less than 10 years, that’s what Kakashi had told him. Naruto wanted to make it in five.
“You like the feeling?” Kakashi asked, and Naruto jumped. He didn’t realize that Kakashi was back.
“Sorry Kakashi. I couldn’t resist.”
“No, don’t worry. It will be yours in due time anyway. I don’t like the feeling this chair gives me, but you genuinely seem to enjoy it.”
“Yea, I do. You’re calm. So Sakura is alright.”
“Yes she is. She wants to see you, that’s why I am here. So you ready?”
“I am.” Naruto stood up and followed Kakashi.
“So, talked to her yesterday?”
“Yes, you were right. It was good for both of us.”
“Will she recover?”
“I believe so. I mean, I did, and she is so much stronger than I ever was.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem, Naruto. It really was my pleasure.” Both men walked into the hospital. Both had a big grin on they face as they passed the woman at the front desk.
‘Petty bastards’ went through Shizunes mind as she watched them. Kakashi knocked at Sakuras room and they both entered after she gave permission.
“Sakura! Kakashi told me you are alright? But why are you in the hospital?” The blond men shouted at the sight of his former teammate and best friend.
“Naruto, we are at a hospital, lower your voice.” Sakura answered angrily.
“Sorry. I am just excited that I see you again. You’re still very skinny. Do you eat enough?”
“Yes, I do eat enough. It is just the nausea. And I am fine now.”
“Nausea? So you are ill.” Said Naruto, the confusion still on his face.
“Naruto, sit down, please.” She said nicely while gesturing at the chair next to her.
“No, I want to stand. You are not about to tell me, that you are ill, like deathly ill, are you?”
“Sit!” She commands with a strict tone in her voice. Naruto sat down next to her immediately, and even Kakashi found himself a chair.
“Naruto, I am not going to die.” She took a deep breath. Naruto was still restless. He sensed that something was wrong. Sakura started to smile. Yes, something was very wrong, that’s all he could think of.
“Naruto, I am pregnant.” Narutos eyes widened, his lips formed a big smile, and he embraced Sakura in a hug.
“That is amazing. You must be so happy. Sasuke isn’t the last Uchiha any more.” Now his smiles died. He realized that Sasuke was indeed not the last Uchiha because he is dead. This child will be the very last Uchiha until it will have children on its own. “I am sorry, I forgot that he isn’t with us any more.” Tears were forming in Narutos eyes. His best friend was dead; he will never be a dad for his child. Naruto knew Sasuke wanted children. They talked about it the night before his wedding.
“Sasuke knew. I told him. That’s why he is dead. He… he jumped in front of me.”, Sakura said quietly. Her eyes were full of tears again. Naruto loosened his hug and looked right into Sakuras eyes.
“No, he is dead because some idiot bandits thought it would be a good idea to kill him. This wasn’t your fault. You would have jumped in front of him, if the positions were swapped. There is no fault in your actions. Don’t you ever believe that.”
“Naruto?” She said, still looking at him. “I love you, you know that, right?” A smile formed again on Narutos face.
“And I love you, too, Sakura-chan. I always will.” Sakura smiled at him and they both hugged each other again.
“And you, too, Grandpa.” Naruto said while waving at Kakashi to join them. Kakashi was not sure if he should join them or not. It wasn’t really his place to be interfered with them, even when Naruto asked him to. He wasn’t good at handling with emotions, and they were both full of it.
“I will be mad, if you don’t come and hug us.” Sakura said, and this strict tone in her voice was there again. He stood up, walked over to them and embraced a tight hug around both of them. In the end they are all what is left of the original team seven, but then again. It was mostly only them anyway. All three of them will be stronger after this, they all knew it. They hugged for a moment longer, and then they separated. Naruto sat on Sakuras left side, and Kakashi took the chair he was seated on before and settled on Sakuras right side.
“But Sakura, I will be the uncle of this child, right?” Naruto asked concerned.
“Naruto, of course you will be the uncle. I hope you will be a father figure for it.”
“Of course. I will be there for everything, first day of kindergarten, first day of academy. I will train them on how to use shadow clones and how to throw a kunai. I will leave chidori to Kakashi, he should do something, too.”
“Yea, right, it has nothing to do with the fact, that I invented chidori, and you don’t know how it works.” Kakashi sighed. “But I will be there, too, as I promised.”
“Kakashi as a father figure? Really?” Naruto asked.
“That’s what I said.” Sakura answered with a smirk on her face.
“Hey, I am the fatherly type. I am the dad of this team.” defended Kakashi himself.
“Pretty sure, that’s Yamato.” Naruto answered.
“I said that, too.”
“And there goes my dignity.” Kakashi sighed and rolled his eyes.
“What dignity?” asked Naruto and Sakura simultaneously.
“I hate you guys. I really do.” Said Kakashi still a smile on his face and his tone was light and happy. Sakura shook her head and Naruto laughed even lauder.
“So Sakura”, started Naruto, “when will you tell the others? I mean, if you want me to I stay quiet about it until you are ready, but I don’t like lying to Hinata.”
“I will tell them, when I see them next. It is time. Maybe Ino or Hinata can give me some tips. In the end I will be a single mom and I will need all the help that I can get.” An awkward silence formed between the three of them. Naruto moved a bit closer to Sakura and took her left hand with his. Then he reached out his right hand and silently demanded Kakashi to do the same. He did it.
“Close your eyes, it is like a prayer.”, Naruto said, “so every time we get sad because Sasuke, we can think about this moment and that he was loved. We loved him like we love each other. And it brings me peace to know, that he knew he was loved and was able to love and when he died, he had the one person with him that loved him more than anyone else. (Tears were starting to form in Sakuras eyes) He didn’t die alone, and that’s all we can hope for.” Sakura pressed Narutos and Kakashis hand. He was right.
“Thank you, Naruto. Words cannot describe how thankful I am that you are here for me and were his friend. You did so much for him, and he loved you, too.”
“Sakura-“ Narutos voice broke. He started to cry and moved closer to Sakura to hug her again. She held tightly him while she comforted him. And Kakashi felt out of place once more. Naruto was so much better at finding the right words or comforting someone than he ever will be. That’s why he couldn’t understand why Sakura chose him to be there for her. Maybe she didn’t? He was just there yesterday and that was it now. She must have realized, too, that Naruto is far better suited for this than Kakashi ever will be. Kakashi wasn’t sure if this thought was comforting or frightening. On the one hand he wouldn’t be needed any more to hold her and comfort her that’s great, because he didn’t feel so well with it, but on the other hand she wouldn’t need him any more and that’s frightened him, to lose her again.
Naruto and Sakura had loosened her hug some moments ago and Naruto sat in his chair again. Smiling from ear to ear and was just happy to be part of Sakuras life again.
“How far are you? With the pregnancy, I mean.” Naruto then asked.
“I am 11 weeks in, that’s what Shizune told me. I thought I am at the first month, but it seems like I am at the end of my first trimester.”
“So it will start to show in a month or two. That’s amazing. You will be just as beautiful as Hinata is or Ino. Both of them are glowing, and you will, too. When can co out together all of us Parents-to-be and make some pictures and memories. You will have to look out what you eat. You’re not allowed to eat everything any more. No raw meat, or fish, or eggs, unless they are completely boiled. You need to take care of yourself. No heavy lifting and don’t overuse your chakra, that’s not good for the baby either. Do you listen? Should I make you a list?”
“Naruto, I am a medic. I know what is allowed and what isn’t.”
“I know that, but pregnancy brains are a thing and cravings can be wild. I just want you to think twice about what you want to eat and want to do. No more training and no field operations. Kakashi you need to take her of the roaster. No missions until the baby is born. You will stay safe in the village. No wandering around alone. And you will not live alone during your third trimester. That is too dangerous. You can trip and fall and nobody would notice.”
“Naruto, don’t you think that’s a bit exaggerated? I am not the first woman who is alone during her pregnancy.”
“But that’s the thing, you are not alone. You have your friends and your family, and we will help and protect you and your baby. I will always protect you and your baby.”
“I know, thank you.” Then someone knocked on Sakura door and all the heads went to the door as it opened. It was Shizune with some files in her hand and under her arm.
“So, I have your results back. It seems like I could fix everything, and you can go home and rest, but this pregnancy doesn’t seem easy for your body and already is a risky pregnancy and if you don’t take care of yourself it will become a high risk pregnancy that can cost you your or your childs life. I want you to check in every two days for the next two weeks. No work, no missions, you only rest. Do you understand?” Naruto and Kakashi froze for a quick second. Sakuras pregnancy is risky, very risky, and she could die, or her baby could die. That’s when Kakashi made a decision. He will not only be a part in the childs life when it is born. He will be a part of this pregnancy, too. Naruto will probably not have the time for Sakura, when his Baby is born. Same goes for Hinata, Ino and Sai, even Shikamaru and Temari, but he only has his dogs and the boys love Sakura and will sure be helping him with Sakuras pregnancy.
“Yes I did. Thank you, Shizune-san.” Answered Sakura.
“Good. And now go home and put your feet up. I have a prescription for you against the nausea. Take them before every meal.” She put the prescription onto Sakuras hospital bed, together with some other papers.
“I will, thank you.”
“I will see you in two days. I will be at the Hokage tower. I don’t think the Hokage will mind that I will examine you there, right Hokage-sama?” All eyes went to Kakashi.
“No, that wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Good. Take care.” With that, Shizune left.

“Heavens, I should go too, Hinata is waiting. We will come around tonight, okay?”
“Yes, that would be lovely.”
“Great, Kakashi would you take care of her, that she gets home safe and sound?”
“Yes, Naruto.”
“Kakashi has a lot to do, I don’t think it is necessary.”
“But I say so, and I am your Hokage.”
“Perfect.”, Naruto answered, “see you tonight. Bye.” A few seconds later, he left the room. Sakura stood up and Kakashi took her papers. Together they left.
“You don’t have to do this; you have more important things to do.”
“Don’t be silly, nothing is more important than you. I will bring you home, then I will get your meds and bring them to you together with the lunch that I promised.”
“Oh, you don’t have to.”
“I know, but I want to.” They continued to walk to the Uchiha compound. Kakashi left her house after he made sure she had everything she might need close to her and rested well in her bed. He first went into the bookshop that was close by. He wanted to have some literature about pregnancy and babies. It did not take him long to find what he was searching for.
“Hello Hokage-sama, how can I help you?” asked the men behind the till.
“Hello, I just want to purchase these books.” Kakashi answered happily. This tone didn’t go unnoticed by the cashier. He knew the Hokage spend a lot of time with Mrs. Uchiha, and he often found his way to this certain bookshop, but he was never such a light and happy mood. He must have had some great news.
“Do you want me to pack them as a present?”
“No, they are for me. Thank you.” Kakashi answered and the eyes of the cashier widened a bit as he saw the titles of the books ‘Pregnancy dos and don'ts’, ‘Pregnancy and what it does to your body’, ‘How to be a dad – for dummies (fools)’, ‘Pregnancies – for dummies’ and ‘Baby 101’. Kakashi didn’t notice the change on the cashiers face while he was packing the books and his voice when he wished Kakashi a good day. The next stop was the pharmacy close to the Hokage Tower. It was still early, but some people already had found their way to it. Kakashi stood in line, when one of the medics noticed him.
“Oh Hokage-sama! You can come over here. We will help you immediately.”
“Oh, thank you, but there is no need. I can wait.”
“Certainly not.” Said the medic and waited for Kakashi to come to her counter.
“You are lucky; we have all of your order here. The shampoo and your meds against your hay fever.”
“Ah, thank you, and I would like to have this.” Kakashi said and gave the prescription.
“Ahem, Hokage-sama, are you sure you have the right prescription? This is for a medicine against nausea during a pregnancy.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So, it is the right one.”
“It most certainly is. Do you have it, or do you have to order it?”
“No, we have it here. I will pack it to your other stuff.”
“Thank you very much.” The medic packed everything while Kakashi paid. He said his goodbye and made his way to the Hokage tower. Oblivious to the fact that the rumour mill of Konohagakure started to spin again.

Chapter Text

Sakura opened her door, after she heard the knock and felt the presence of Naruto and Hinata. The Uzumakis greeted her happily, and for a split second it felt like nothing had happened, and it is just a normal Tuesday night. They enter her house and made their way to Sakuras living room.
“How are you, Hinata?”
“I am fine. I feel huge, but I think this is normal.”
“Yes, I guess that is normal.”
“But you are the most beautiful woman I know, even when you are huge.” Naruto said, kissing his wife's cheek.
“I know you were at the hospital this morning, Naruto told me everything is fine, but I am still worried about you.”
“I know, and I didn’t want to worry anyone-“ Another knock on Sakuras door.
“Who is this?” Sakura asked.
“Oh, I told Ino that we are coming over, and I guess she is here, too. I am sorry. You probably don’t want too many guests. I should have stayed quiet.” Hinata explained shyly.
“Oh don’t worry. I don’t feel like company, but being alone is hard on me, too.” Said Sakura calmly and went to open the front door.
“Forehead! You really opened the door.” Ino said loudly, hugging her best friend tightly and pushing herself into Sakuras home.
“Hello, Pig” said Sakura while Ino walked by her, “and hello Sai, how are you?”
“I am fine.” He answered shortly and went in, too.
“I was so worried when I heard you were at the hospital? What is wrong?” asked Ino calmly.
“I was about to tell Hinata. Take a seat, Pig, I will tell all of you.”
“You are not ill, are you? Like deathly ill?”, asked Ino worried.
“No, I am not ill, and I am not about to die. Why does everyone keep asking that? I-”
“You won’t move away either?”
“Ino.”, said Sakura loudly.
“Listen, I know you always fancied Sand and Gaara is quite fond of you and your skill, but you cannot just leave the village and your friends and family. I need you and Naruto needs you and the hospital needs you and even your dirty old Sensei needs you, and you need us. I will not allow-“
“PIG. Shut UP! And then I can tell you everything. First of all, I like sand, but I would never live there, not even for money. Secondly Kakashi is neither old nor dirty and finally, no I am not moving away, I am 11 weeks pregnant.” Silence. More silence. A whole lot of silence. Naruto had a big grin on his face, and Sai looked indifferent as usual. Hinata and Ino however, they were shocked.
“Isn’t that great.” Naruto said with a need to fill the void.
“Amazing.”, said Sai quietly, probably thinking it is the only appropriate answer.
“You are… wow… are you sure? I mean, you probably are… pregnant… wow… I am happy for you any minute, Forehead. I just need to process this.” Ino eyes went from shock to pity and sadness.
“I- I think it is amazing. We can all go through this together.”, said Hinata now with a sad smile on her face. Sakura hated every minute of this charade. They were pitying her for being a pregnant widow. They felt pity and didn’t know to react. She could have handled, a similar reaction to Kakashis who just asked her if she was happy, or Narutos whose first thought was to mention Sasuke, but this? This was hurting her feelings. These are her best friends. They are supposed to be happy for her and telling her, that everything is going to be alright and that she will be an amazing mom and that they are there for her, but that’s not what she got, all she got was silence, sadness and pity. That god-damn pity. She wanted this to end.
“Actually, it is a risky pregnancy, and I am tired. I am sorry, but I think you should go, now.”
“Are you sure, Forehead? We could stay and cook something for you and then chat a little.”
“I am sure. I just want to sleep.”
“Okay, if you are really sure.”
“I am.”, answered Sakura and walked to her front door. The rest of the group stood up in silence, and then they left.
------
“Maybe this was too much for her, like too many people.”, said Naruto sadly.
“No, it was because you girls weren’t happy for her. She was sad, that you didn’t support her immediately.”, said Sai.
“W- what do you mean?”, asked Hinata shyly.
“I am not good at feeling emotions. I mean, Ino helps me a lot and understand more and more every day, but I am still very good in observation of emotions. Her shoulders tensed after you said nothing and even more, after you reacted with sadness. Therefore, she wanted a different reaction as she got. It is not that difficult to understand.”
“Maybe Sai is right.”, said Hinata.
“I am right.”
“We will achieve nothing today. We should go home and try it again tomorrow.”, said Naruto sadly. He was just in her life again, and now she pushed him away again. He was happy for her, so why couldn’t he stay? I was probably for the better. Hinata is pregnant, too, and she needs him as well. The rest agreed and they went all home.
Sakura however was way too angry then she should be in her condition. She needed to let it out, but she isn’t allowed to train or anything like that. But she needed to get away. Out of this house, out of this village would be even better, but she could not just leave, could she? So she grabbed her key, put a jacket on and left, when she was sure her friends weren’t around any more. She moved quietly through the village. She headed directly to Kakashi. The Anbu let her pass without any questions. She knocked at his place and waited for him to open the door.
Kakashi sensed her about 30 seconds before she knocked. Her chakra signature was quite off, but she wasn’t injured or anything. She was just angry. He opened the door for her and looked into her angry face. Her eyebrows were clenched and that cute little vein on her forehead was visible. He was right. She was angry, really angry, but she should be calm and resting. Kakashi let her enter his flat, then closed the door and guided her into his kitchen. He put a kettle on the stove and waited for the water to boil. A calming tea will hopefully help her.
“What happened?”, he asked as he turned himself, so he was facing Sakura, while he was leaning against his kitchen countertop.
“As you know, Hinata and Naruto wanted to come. They were there, and Sai and Ino came, too.”
“You had a Team seven House party without me? That hurt my feelings.”
“It is not funny, Kakashi.” She crossed her arms before her chest.
“Yes, I know. I am sorry. Go on.”
“I told them about the baby. They weren’t happy. They pitied me. I hate it.” Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and Kakashi made his way to her. He embraced her in a hug and caressed her back. They hold this position, until the kettle started to make a sound. Kakashi got back to the stove and poured the hot water into the cups. He brought her the cup.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. So you are angry and can’t let it out like you usually would with brute force.”
“Yes. Why… why did they think it was the right time to pity me?”
“You know, better as anyone, that you cannot always control your emotions.”
“Which side are you on?” Sakura snapped. How could he defend their behaviour?
“This isn’t about sides, Sakura. You know that. Well, at least you should know better.”
“You are right!”, she said furiously, “I should have known better than coming to you. Sorry that I have bothered you. Good night Hokage-sama!”
“Sakura, wait-“, but she didn’t even let him finish. She stormed off, just as angry as she was before she went to him. Her feet were taking her somewhere. She wasn’t sure at first, but she found herself on top of the Hokage rock. Looking over the village that was her home, but right now. Right now, it didn’t felt like a home. All of her friends had they own happy life and everything was just fine for them. Tears were forming in her eyes. Nobody seemed to get it. She felt alone and weak. She hated it to feel weak. She wasn’t the weak crybaby any more, but her friends made her feel that way again, with their looks and their chosen words. She hadn’t felt that alone in years, but here she was alone. No, she wasn’t just alone; she was lonely like she never had been before. Lonely. She was sitting lonely on the Hokage rock and crying, like the weak and pathetic crybaby that she swore she would never be again.
Kakashi kicked his kitchen chair. How could he be so dumb. She was hurt and emotionally confused. All she wanted was support. Now she stormed off, angry, when all she was supposed to do was resting. She should be in her bed with a good book and a tea. She shouldn’t be running around the village at this time of night, especially not alone. Her pregnancy is risky. It could cost her life. And he was upsetting her even more.
“That was clever, Boss.”, said Pakkun who just came out of Kakashis bedroom.
“Thanks buddy. Can you go and find her?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No, Cherry and I have a special bond. I am not going to betray her, because you don’t know how to behave. Seriously, I raised you better, pup.” Kakashi was so perplexed that he didn't even notice Pakkun calling him by his old nickname.
“You are my dog! My summon, for fuck's sake. You should be loyal to me.”
“You have a good nose yourself. Find her with it. She smells a lot like me.”
“She doesn’t smell like you.”
“She does. When was the last time you smelled me?” Kakashi was confused. He got closer to his summon and took a deep breath just over Pakkuns fur.
“Holy shit. You do smell similar.”
“Yea. We are using the same shampoo. When she changes her, I change mine, too. She has an excellent taste.”
“So the shampoo that I get for you is the same that she uses?”
“Yes. See, her and me, we are shampoo buddies, and I am not going to betray her.”
“You don’t even know her that much.”
“I do.”
“You what?”
“I do know her. We talk a lot. We are friends. I am at the village more often, since you are Hokage and don’t go on missions any more, and every time I am here I visit her. I even offered her to make a contract with me, but she felt like she would be betraying you, so she didn’t do it.”
“Why am I hearing this for the first time?”
“It is none of your business.”
“How is it not my business? She is my student, and you are my summon.”
“She isn’t your student any more, and she hasn’t been for the longest time.”
“What are you two even talking about?”
“You know, this and that.”
“No, I don’t know, that’s why I am asking.” But Kakashi didn’t get an answer. Pakkun looked like he wanted to go away and that as fast as he can. “Pakkun. What are you and Sakura talking about?”
“If you really want to know, we mainly talk about you. Well, I talk about you, she just listens. You can be, what does that Nara brat always say… ah right, you can be quite a drag. And I need to vent that on somebody.” Pakkuns ears went back, like they did when they were approaching the enemy, “Gai and Genma would brag about it, same goes for Naruto, the Uchiha brat wouldn’t care, even if he were in the village and Sai, well that is obvious why I don’t talk to him. So the only person left was Cherry, and we already had a connection, she was the best choice. She can tell me things she doesn’t want anyone else to know, and I can tell her how stupid you are sometimes. She is a good listener.” Kakashi couldn't believe his ears. His best friend had a secret friendship with his ex-student and his most important person. How could they hide that from him? It felt like a betrayal, and it hurt him more than he cared to admit. Was she always so kind to him because she knew what was going on and felt sorry for him that his own dog was talking bad about him behind his back?
“I cannot believe this.” Kakashi wasn’t even angry, he was just hurt, deeply hurt.
“I knew you wouldn't like the answer, so I didn't want to tell you. Don't be mad at her, I wanted it to be private between her and me, she objected, but I refused to listen. Kakashi, I was there for you when your father died, your friends and your sensei. I know your problems and I love you, believe it or not, but even a dog like me needs a friend to talk to. Who he can talk to about his pup at least once in a while.”
“I don't even know what to say to that. How could I not see that?”
“It's not like you cared much about what's going on in my life or hers back then. You were a different person. I can tell you where she is, but before you go to her, you should have a clear mind and know how you want to handle the situation.”
“When was the last time you spoke with her, Pakkun?”
“A couple of weeks ago, why? She had a mission with the Uchiha brat the following week.”
“So you don’t know.” Kakashis voice was even. No trace of any emotion. Pakkun knew that state. It usually meant nothing good.
“Know what? That she is pregnant? I could smell it and I heard your conversation. I don’t understand why her friends pity her, though. But in the end it is good for her, the Uchiha must be pretty happy, too. He wanted to rebuild his clan, something that you could do, too.”
“He is dead.” Pakkun didn’t say a thing. That explained why she hadn’t answer the door, when he wanted to visit her 3 days ago. It also explained why her friends pitied her. It explains why she was looking for Kakashis mental support.
“He died on this mission, while he protected her and his child.” Kakashis voice was now tearful, and that didn’t happen often.
“But we're not going to pretend you're not at least a little happy that she's alive and that he's no longer a potential threat.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… forget it... I'm pretty sure she's at training ground 3 and when she's not there she's at Hokage rock. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? She needs you as her friend.”
“Okay, thank you, Pakkun.”
“And Kakashi, I didn’t tell her anything that she hadn’t already known. None of the information were new to her, and she didn’t like you any less or more because of it. You were her favourite long before we started to talk to each other.” With that, Pakkun vanished and left was a cloud of smoke. Pakkun usually didn’t address Kakashi by his first name or his nickname ‘pup’. If he did, it was because he wanted to talk to him as a friend and not as his subordinate. He knew Kakashi would listen to him and were actually thinking about the things Pakkun had told him. For Kakashi it was clear that Sakura wouldn’t be at the training ground, Shizune forbid her any physical action, and she wouldn’t want to harm her baby. He grabbed his key and made his way to the Hokage rock. He could sense her and her energy on the bottom of the monument. He hid his chakra and made his way up to her. He refused to be mad at her or Pakkun about a friendship that helped both of them cope with their life. She was sitting on the ground and crying loudly in her hands. Kakashi sat down next to her. Feet over the edge and looking at the sky.
“How did you find me?” she asked, her voice is still shaking, and her breath is unsteady.
“Pakkun told me, where I can find you. He also told me about your friendship. And that he offered you to be your summon as well. If I'm the only thing stopping you from agreeing, then do it. You have my blessing, whatever that means. Actually, I would feel better when he is there for you, too.” He put his arm around her and pushed her slightly into himself. She smelled like Pakkun and therefore like safety, home and family.
“Thank you, Kakashi.” Her voice was calm, and her breath was not as unsteady as it was before.
“And I am sorry for-“
“No, I am sorry. I was angry about Ino and Hinata and you were just… well I am sorry. I didn’t want to shout at you, and I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I will always worry about you, Sakura. You are my friend, and the first knows I don’t have many of them. I will always do my best to help you, and you cannot do anything to drive me away. I promise.” He tightened the grip around her once more. She leaned into him.
“I know that and I am very thankful. I hope you know that.”
“I know, but I do have a question, if you don’t mind?”
“Sure.”
“When did you and Pakkun started to talk?”
“We started after that day.”, she answered calmly, looking at the night sky. Oh! That day…

Chapter Text

That day… Kakashi didn’t like to be reminded of that day. It was right after Pain attacked Konoha. The village was destroyed and even though most of the shinobis survived the attack, normality was out of the question. Most of them died but were miraculously brought back just like himself. Nearly everyone had lost their home this day. Naruto just came back and was celebrated as the hero of the village. He deserved every second of it. It was just like Naruto always wanted it to be. Sakura was just happy, that her parents weren’t at home during the attack and that all of her important people were alive. She was exhausted. She had spent her day with healing. Her chakra was low, dangerously low. The night falls in, while everyone seemed to celebrate Naruto and his victory over Pain. However, she found herself next to Kakashi. He was quiet, even for Kakashis standards. He was aware of her odd chakra flow and the tension in her body. He took a deep breath. It was going to rain later, then he smelled her. She smelt like the hospital, with all the antiseptics and the rubber flooring, but also like blood, dust and surprisingly like cherries. Her Shampoo was still noticeable for his highly sensitive nose.

“Something the matter?” he asked while she was letting herself fall next to him.

“No. I am just tired.” She answered. Her arms were on her knees and her head was resting on her hands. She was struggling to sit.

“Then you should go home and rest.” He said thoughtless.

“I don’t have a home anymore.” Tears were building in her eyes, and for the first time Kakashi didn’t found himself annoyed by that. Her tears were justified. She saw horror today like she had never seen it before. For a young girl, of course, this was traumatizing.

“I am sorry, that you have lost your home today, Sakura.” He was calm, his meeting with his dead father was still on his mind.

“You have lost your home, too. Most of us have lost our homes. I am sorry, I didn’t mean to cry. I am just-“

“No, don’t apologize. You have every right to be upset.” Sakura didn’t answer. She just looked at the night sky and hoped that she would wake up in her bed and everything was just a nightmare. She knew that this will never happen. Tomorrow she would write her parents that she is alive, and then she would start to search for things that once belonged to her family and of course clean the village. Kakashi was still occupied by his mind.

“You are in pain, aren’t you?” she asked, after a moment of comfortable silence.

“How do you know?”

“Your chakra signature is off. I can heal you if you want.”

“Your chakra is too low for that. You can barely sit.”

“I have enough to heal my Sensei. You just have to trust me.” He couldn’t even say something; her green glowing hands were already over his body.

“Your chakra… I can sense a… a complete chakra depletion. That is impossible. You're supposed to be dead.” Her voice was close to break.

“Yes, I know. I fought and I lost.”

“No, you cannot…” tears were forming rapidly. “You died today, but you came back like the others.” She started to cry uncontrollably and hugged him as tight as her power allowed her.

“Mah, mah, Sakura. Nothing to cry about. I am a shinobi.”

“Nothing to cry about? If I had lost you, I cannot even imagine a life like this. Don’t you ever say that again. You are important to others. You are important to me.” He was flashed by her confession. He was important for her? For the first time in years, he willingly embraced a hug (out of the context of sex). He put his arms around her and held her tightly. She was crying uncontrollably on his chest, and he stroked her back. This was intimate, and he wasn’t used to be intimate with someone, not in this way. Strangely enough, but somehow this was calming him, too. He didn’t even know he was tensed, until she tightened her grip and hugged him like nobody else had ever hugged him before. For a short moment he felt peace. They separated and were sitting comfortable next to each other.

“Thank you, Sakura.”

“No Problem, Sensei.”

“You did well today.”

“Thank you, Sensei.”, she said calmly, and then she yawned, “I am too tired to talk right now. I am going to sleep.” She was about to get up, but his voice stopped her.

“Where are you going to sleep tonight?”

“Under the stars. The tents are all taken.” She said quietly, looking into the sky.

“You shouldn’t sleep outside.”

“Not that I have much of a choice. It is not the first time I sleep like this, and probably not the last. I will be alright.”

“It is going to rain.” He was calm as he looked at the night sky.

“Why do you think that? The sky is cloudless.”

“I can smell the upcoming rain.”

“You can smell that? Is your nose that sensitive?” She didn’t believe her ears. He couldn’t be serious.

“Yes, it is.”

“I must stink for you. I am sorry.”

“No, it is okay.”

“That is crazy, that must be really difficult for you.”, she sympathized.

“It really is okay. Can you not sleep in someone else's tent?”

“Sadly no, I am not as lucky as Naruto, Sensei Iruka takes him in. The Hyuugas take some Anbu and Jonin and Team Gai, Kiba and his family take some civilians, the Akimichis take the Yamanakas, the Nara family take the administration team and the village council. And all of them are more than crowded. The rest is put in the tents that we have. No place for me, but I don’t mind. They have their own trouble. I am not going to die from a bit of presumed rain.” He smiled lightly. Even now, she is only thinking about others and their comfort. How is it possible that none of the great families will take the apprentice of the fifth Hokage in?

“What about Tsunade?” He asked, surely she will arrange something for her only student.

“She still hasn’t recovered. And we don’t know if she ever will. I wanted to sleep in her tent, but the medics there weren’t so keen on it. They need a lot of space to take care of her, and I would be a nuisance. As I said, it won’t kill me. I really should go now. Good night Sensei.” Sakura stood up and walked away slowly. She really wasn’t in the condition on sleeping outside in the rain. Why did this bother him so much? She always could…

“You can sleep in my house.” His words had left his mouth before he realized what he said, but now it was too late to take them back.

“No offence, but your flat it destroyed, too.”

“My flat yes, my house is outside the village. It’s my family home. You can stay there if you want to. I wouldn’t mind.” He would not exactly mind, but he would still rather be alone there. He hated that house, it brings back too many bad memories.

“Really? You would do that for me?”

“Of course, you are my teammate.” He had a spare bedroom, he would have given it to Gai, but he was already cared for.

“Thank you so much, Sensei.” He smiled at her and got up. He stepped into her tracks, and they made their way silently from the party. She needed a bed and that sooner than later, he realized that as soon as he saw her walking. She was slow. Furthermore, she was probably only conscious because she wanted to. If the attack had been any longer, she would have given her life, to save someone else. She could be dead.

“You need to take better care of yourself, or you will end up dead, because you wanted to save someone.”

“That’s rich of someone who actually died today.” He smirked unnoticeable thanks to the mask, she got bolder by the years, but she never had teased him like that before. He was afraid that he was going to like this new Sakura. Then she winked at him. And he was sure, that he was definitely going to like her. His grin got bigger as he shook his head.

“You may be correct, but I am still right.” He teased her back. This was new, a new dynamic, but he didn’t mind. She wasn’t the twelve-year-old girl any more. She matured a lot in the last years and after a day like today he understands her value as a comrade even more. They made their way to the village border. The Hatake home was on outside the village. His family used to live and work here. Most of them were farmers and a very few of them were Shinobi. It was a humble house, but still it was better than sleeping outside in the rain.

“Can we make a break? I need a quick rest.” Sakura leaned onto a tree. When he looked at her while the moonshine touched her face, he saw how pale and exhausted she looked, and that frightened him.

“Of course, and it isn’t far any more. I can already see it. It’s the one right there.” He pointed at an old but charming house. She immediately fell in love with this house. He saw her eyes shine while she looked at it.

“I know it is not much...”

“Nonsense, I love it, it looks charming and thank you, that you let me rest here.”

“No problem, Sakura. Can we go on?” He smelled the rain coming closer, and he didn’t want her to get wet and ill. She was weak enough already.

“Yea, I will probably make it.”

“If you need to, you can lean on me. You can always lean on me.”

“Thank you, and you on me, Kakashi.” She smiled at him, while they made their way to the house. The loss of the honorific didn’t go unnoticed by him, but he didn’t mind. Today they fought together and won, for today they were equals. He unlocked the door to his old family home with some seals and let them both enter. He smelled the sticky air and the dust. He abandoned the house, quite literally.

“I am sorry, I wasn’t, I mean I didn’t think I would be here anytime soon, certainly not with a guest.”

“No, don’t apologize. You give me a roof over my head tonight. I cannot be more grateful.”

“It really is nothing special. I would have done it for everyone.”

“Even though I am grateful.”

“You can sleep in this room”, Kakashi pointed to a room at the end of the open living room, “my room is over there”, now he pointed to the room closer to the kitchen, which is open to the living room, “I will look for some old shirts for you to change into, the bath is over here, and you can shower first. They won't be hot water, I hope you don’t mind, and I make a bed for you in your room.”

“Thank you, I don’t know how to ever pay you back for that.”

“Well, I assume that Naruto will probably not take care of me when I am old, so see this as my down payment.” He smiled as he teased her. She smiled back at him. She knew he didn’t mean it, but she also wouldn’t mind taking care of him.

“Ah, I see. I will take it that way and don’t you worry, I will always take care of you, like you always take care of me.” Did he always take care of her? He straight up abandoned her, like his family home, when Naruto and Sasuke left the village. He didn’t even look for someone else to teach her. She found Tsunade on her own. He still felt guilty because of it. But right now, especially when nobody else wanted to take care of her, it was his responsibility and he was glad that he could at least help her now. He wondered if her parents would have got a tent and why they didn’t take her in. Wait. Her parents, why isn’t she with her parents? How could he forget that she had parents? The thought of them being dead and her watching the village celebrate, while she was grieving them, plopped into his head. It made his gut wrench awfully.

“Sakura… what… what happened to your parents?”, he asked with a sad look on his face. He looked her in the eyes, and she was meeting his gaze, waiting for the tiniest hint of her emotions. He assumed she would start to cry, but she started to smile.

“Oh… they are fine. My mother visited my grandma a couple of days ago and my father wanted to meet her there, he went about an hour before Pain attacked. They are safe. They have to be safe. I will write them tomorrow and tell them that I am alright.” She laid her hand on Kakashi`s shoulder and squeezed it as she passed him to get to the bathroom. She needed a shower, preferably a hot one, but this wasn’t going to happen.

The cold water run down her spine and she felt shiver going all over her body. She scrubbed her skin until she felt clean. Kakashi´s sense of smell was really sensitive, and she didn’t want to irritate his nose while he is being hostable to her. It took her some time to get the dried blood out of her hair, but by the time she managed that, the thunder started. She thanked Kakashi internally for given her a dry place to sleep, but she should find something else by tomorrow night. Kakashi is a private person, and she didn’t want to outstay her welcome. She heard a knock on the door, and Kakashi quickly entered the bathroom. He dropped some clothes for her, as she assumed, and then left again. When they were on missions, they often have to share a room or a bath, so being shy about being seen by the other in compromising situations wasn’t a thing any more. Even though Kakashi always managed to not be seen. She didn’t mind him enter the bath, she trusted him with her life and knew he would never spy on her like that. She waited a couple more minutes, then she left the shower. As she thought, there were a shirt and shorts as well as a towel on the shelf next to the sink. She dried herself and put the towel on her head, then she put the clothes on and left the bathroom.

“Thank you, for the clothes and everything.”, she said as she saw him in the kitchen.

“No problem, I am making some tea, do you want some as well?” She no longer smelled like blood or the hospital and thanks to the scentless soap she was using, he was able to smell her own scent for the first time. She smelled intoxicating. Sweet, but not intrusively sweet. The smell suited her very well, and he liked it a little too much for anyone’s good. 

“Yes, that would be great.” He nodded and turned to her. He had found some shirts from his mid teenage years. He stopped fitting into them when he was around seventeen, and still his old shirt was too big for her. She really was small. She sat down in front of the dining table.

“How long will it take for you to be back at full strength?” He hoped she would take it as him wanting to know, when he can kick her out, because he wasn’t going to. He was just curious. He knew she tried to get the Byakugō Seal, even though he didn’t understand the technique behind it, he knew that there were only a handful shinobi who could learn this and even lesser who actually accomplish it. The water kettle made its usual sound and Kakashi poured the hot water into the two prepared mugs and hands one of them over to her. She thanked him, and Kakashi also took a seat at the table.

“Oh… I cannot use my chakra for the next two to three days, but then I will be fine. But don’t worry, I will not outstay my welcome. I will find a place to stay tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t. You will stay here until your parents are back and can settle in with them. You are not outstaying anything. Understood?” He had this tone in his voice, like he wouldn’t take any protest whatsoever, he often used this tone during their genin days.

“Yes, Sensei.”, she replied happily, taking a sip from her tea. It warmed her from the inside. 

“Then explain to me, why you cannot use your chakra in the next days, that seems odd to me?”

“Oh because of the strength of a hundred seal. Actually, I am not allowed to use medical ninjutsu, or better any ninjutsu at all. I am not allowed to fight, either. You need to see the chakra as water, and I am saving my chakra in a sort of lake inside my forehead. I constructed this lake with my mind, and now I fill it with my chakra. A drop fells into the lake every minute, all day and night. So even when I am sleeping, I need the perfect control of my chakra. If I use the stored chakra before the lake is filled, I lose all of it and I need to start again. Therefore, I am actually not allowed to do anything but studying, but I am smart, so I made a second lake, more like a pond, so it is much smaller than the first one. It took me about 6 months to fill it, but it only takes a few days to be refilled. That’s why I can go on missions and use medical ninjutsu, but until it is refilled, I am not allowed to use any chakra.”

“Sakura… that is incredible. You are really a genius, so this whole time you are not using 100 percent of your strength?”

“No, not even 20 percent of it.” Kakashi was too stunned to speak. He needed a few moments to render this information inside his head. He was shocked. He knew it was difficult, but this… this was ridiculous.

“And there is no guarantee that it will work in the end? One mistake and all the work was in vain? How long are you saving for this large lake by now?”

“Yes, one mistake and I need to start again and yes there is no guarantee for anything, but it worked with the pond, so I hope it will work with the lake as well. And I am saving for a little more than two and a half years by now.” And again, Kakashi was too stunned to speak. Then he remembered that she healed him just a few hours ago.

“But you were healing me? Was that your last bit of usable chakra?”

“Yes, it was, but it helped you, so I don’t mind.” She assured him happily.

“You should have used it for yourself.” He was shocked again. She used her very last bit of chakra for him. Just because he felt a discomfort.

“Maybe, maybe not. I am glad that I could help you.” She emptied the mug.

“Thank you for the tea, and you know, everything. I am bushed. I will call it a day. Good night.” Her voice was soft, and she really seemed to be sleepy. He wished her a good night as well, and she went into the prepared room. He took her mug and cleaned it immediately. Then he made his way into the shower. It was needed for him too. He felt dirty. Dying felt dirty, and he wanted that dirt gone. He couldn’t care less that the water was cold because Sakuras natural scent kept him warm. This was no good. The sooner she would start to use shampoo again, the better. That would be the first thing he would get tomorrow. She was sixteen and his pupil and this scent shouldn’t be so… so… so pleasant. He internally kicked himself into his own balls, while he dried himself and changed into new clothes. Then he made his way into his bedroom. I only took him a couple of minutes to fall asleep...

Chapter Text

Sakura was awakened by a scream. She was sitting in her bed and for a brief moment she thought she imagined it. After everything she saw today, it wouldn’t be a surprise for her. Then she heard the water in the kitchen. It was Kakashi, he maybe had a bad dream. So she got up and went quietly to the kitchen, and there he was. Kakashi was standing in front of his kitchen sink under a small light as he washed his hands.

“It won’t come off.” He whispered, nearly unnoticeable for her. She knew a PTSD episode, when she saw one and Kakashi was in the middle of one. She wasn’t an expert on this topic, but she wanted to help him out of it. She went to him slowly and carefully. She didn’t want to make him jump.

“Kakashi?”, she said quietly. He didn’t respond. She made some more steps towards him. She reached out and touched his shoulder. He immediately turned around to her. His gaze was dull and tears were in his eyes. He seemed to look right through her. For a moment, none of them moved a muscle. Suddenly, he grabbed her by her throat and applied pressure to it. He started to strangle her. He moved so fast that she could not block the attack even if she had the power to do so.  She fought him with all the strength that she had left, but she was weak, way too weak to win against him. She said his name quite a few times, but he didn’t respond. Just as she felt her conscious fade, he snapped back. The first thing he saw were his hands around her throat and her being unconscious. The horror was still displayed on her face. He let go of her immediately and she fell to the ground. She didn’t move, and he couldn’t move. It took all of his willpower to bend down and check on her. She wasn’t breathing. He couldn’t hear her breath. There was no movement on her chest. Her chakra was not noticeable any more. She was gone. More tears were forming in his eyes. He had killed her. He didn’t know what to do. He felt so helpless. All he could do is sitting next to her dead body and cry. It reminded him too much of Rin. He didn’t dare to move, except for the tremble that went through his whole body. There it was another horrible death happening in this house. Seconds felt like hours. He was shaking. Kakashi knew that he would never forget the look on her face and her lifeless eyes.

…

…

…

After about thirty seconds, to Kakashi it felt like an eternity, she took a deep breath and started to cough. It was like a miracle. He felt like he was in heaven. He never had heard something so beautiful before. She opened her eyes and continues to gasp for air. She searched for his gaze, but he felt so guilty, that he couldn’t meet it. He should have known it better. This house was bringing back his worst memories, and he always went in this state, when he slept here. That was one of the reasons he moved out and now… now he had dragged Sakura into his darkness.

“I am so sorry, Sakura.” He said quietly, the guilt was obvious in his voice.

“No.”, she coughed, “No, I am sorry, I should have known better than touching you in such a state. That was close. Are you alright?”

“You ask me that? You were not breathing for a hot minute. Are you alright? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was having a nightmare. The next thing I know is that my hands are… oh my, I could have killed you. You could be dead, because of me. I am dangerous for you. You should leave for your own safety.” He got up and wanted to flee. She had never seen him in such an emotional state and never, not once since she had known him, he wanted to escape.

“Sensei. Stop!” The strictness in her voice made him stop, “it really is not that bad. I am alright. Truly. I just need some water.” He nodded and went to the sink again. He wanted, at least now, to be helpful, and he didn’t know what else he could do, so he got her something to drink and handed it to her while she was making herself comfortable at the dining table. The small light, fell on her face and on her neck and Kakashi was able to see what he did to her. Her skin on her neck was red, you could clearly see his handprint on it. It must hurt. He did this to her. He didn’t bother to hide his emotions. Sakura had already seen and literally felt him at his worst. All she saw was the hurt on his face.

“I am alright, stop looking like a beaten dog.” Kakashi still couldn’t meet her gaze. How could she say, that she was alright? She wasn’t breathing. His handprints are on her neck. Her breathing signature was unsteady. His hands were shaking and the expression on his face didn’t change. She knew she needed to reassure that she really was alright. She stood up and took his hands. Still, he hadn’t realized that they were shaking until she steadied them with her own. She started to caress his knuckles with her small and soft fingers.

“I am alright. It will take more than this to kill the apprentice of the fifth Hokage and the only female student of the infamous copy nin. Tsunade taught me better, even you taught me better. Okay?” He didn’t respond, he felt his body shaking way too much. He needed to get this under control. There was no reason in hiding his shaking body, even if he had been able to do so. She let go of Kakashi’s hands and hugged him again. Sakura pressed her body against his and let her face rest on his chest. He didn’t respond to this hug, how could he? His hands were doing that to her. Even though he felt the stiffness leaving his body. Then his body stopped to shake, and he was relaxing. It felt like the first time in years.

“Are you okay? Can I let go or do you need a moment?” She asked while she pressed her head even more on his chest. He was grateful that she didn’t shy away from him. On the contrary, she hugged him even tighter. He could smell her again and it calmed him. It was intoxicating again. He was sure he was going insane.

“I am fine.” His voice was not as sincere as he wished it to be. She noticed, but wasn’t letting him know that, so she let go of him immediately. They settled back to their previous places, but even now Kakashi couldn’t meet her gaze. She wasn’t pushy about it. Moreover, she knew if he wanted to talk, he would. She was fine with the silence between them. Kakashi on the other hand wasn’t so sure how to face her after that incident, he wanted to get away from her. He wanted her to be safe, and she wasn’t safe around him, not any more, not after tonight. Kakashi had overstepped a line tonight, and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. Yes, he had nightmares before and yes his family home triggered them more than anything, but never, not once, in his life he attacked someone while being in this trance. This was new. This was dangerous. He was dangerous.

“Stop! You are frowning again. I am fine. You are fine. We are fine.” Sakura stopped his intrusive thoughts.

“How can we be fine? You nearly died. I nearly killed you. When Tsunade is back on track, I will ask her for a transfer into another team.”

“Stop that at once!”, tears were forming in her eyes and she was audibly angry, “We will not switch teams. How could you think of something like that? This team, your team, is the only thing I have left. What are you going to tell Naruto? Sorry, but I almost killed Sakura when I was having a flashback, and now I'm too scared to face her again. I'm sorry, go and find a new family.”, she paused and took a deep breath, “because this is what we are, Kakashi, a family, a dysfunctional and unhealthy family, but still a family, and for you and Naruto it's the only family you have. For fuck's sake, even for me. Do you really think having parent’s equals having a family? Spoiler, it doesn’t, so grow up.”

Kakashi was quiet for some time. She was right, they were a family whether Kakashi liked it or not. Naruto would probably try to kill him if he was the reason the team fell apart, and given the skills the boy has now, he would succeed. He just had to learn how to deal with his guilt. He smirked internally, dealing with his guilt, as if he had already been successful with it in the past.

“Can you really, truly say to me that you aren’t scared of me in any kind of way?” He asked shyly, meeting her gaze.

“I am scared of you.” Kakashis gaze fell immediately. Sakura started to laugh. “You are an idiot, a genius, but still an idiot. You are intimidating and scary, and of course I am scared of you sometimes, but in a good way. I would trust you with my life without a second thought or a doubt. I will always trust you and your skill. And I meant what I said earlier, I cannot even imagine a life without you, and I don’t want to. You are my family; I know you don’t like it to hear, but it’s the truth.” In the end, her voice was sincere and calm. She usually doesn’t speak in that tone, not to him any ways, but right now? Right now, it sends shivers down his spine.

“Thank you, Sakura. I know I let you down in the past, but I will try to be better in the future.”

“You are a good man, Sensei. You had your reasons and I got stronger in the end, but please, never lie to me again. Do you remember that day on the rooftop of the hospital? Sasuke and Naruto were fighting each other and I wanted to stop them, but you saved me. I remember that I cried because I didn’t want them to fight, and you came to comfort me. You told me that everything will be as it was before, but you already knew that nothing will be as it had been. What a cruel lie. I trusted you and you lied to me. I know you only wanted to make me feel better, but it was a betrayal. I had never much with you in common, you didn’t seem to like me and I always felt like a burden to you, but you have always told me the truth and I relied on that. I mean, I trust you again, but it took me years to do that. I am strong enough to face the truth, and I would always rather have the ugly truth than a beautiful lie. That is the only thing I would like to ask of you.”

“I understand, and I am really sorry that I lied to you in the past. I will never lie to you again. I can promise that.” She smiled at him. He took a deep breath. Her smell hit him again. It made something with him, but not as he feared in a sexual way. Her smell felt different to him, more like home and safety. Like a safe space in which he can be himself and let go as much as his ninja senses allow him, and that isn’t something bad, he assured himself. This was actually something good. So he didn’t go crazy after all.

They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, but then she yawned loudly.

“I should go to bed. I am still tired. Will you be okay?”

“I think so.”

“And if anything is the matter, you know where I sleep, you can always wake me up.”

“Thank you.”

“And I mean it, Sensei. I am your friend and I will always help you if I can.” Kakashi gave her his eye creased smile, and she went to ‘her’ room. He did the same.

The next morning was quite uneventful, Kakashi woke up and had a severe headache. He had one of his episodes last night, but as usual he couldn’t remember much. So Kakashi stood up and made himself a tea. He slept not well, but he got some sleep in the end. He was wondering if everything was alright with Sakura? Should he check on her? She is nearly an adult, she can take care of herself, he reassured himself. It took only a couple of minutes before Sakura left her room. He wished her a good morning, and she nodded in his direction. It really was uneventful, until Kakashi could see the bruises on Sakuras neck. With that, the memories of the last night hit him. They hit him hard. He nearly killed her, and he caused these bruises. They got even darker overnight, and now they are purple-ish. Kakashi was furious with himself. Sakura could sense his fury, but before he or Sakura could react, Pakkun appeared.

“Hey Boss… oh hey Cherr- OH MY GOD! What happened to your neck? Are you alright? Who did this to you? Kakashi do you need the pack to really work this guy up?”

“No Pakkun there is no need. I was careless and Kakashi-sensei thought I am the enemy. It was entirely my fault.” Sakura stepped in, before Kakashi could even think of a response. How could she say it was her fault? She was badly injured and still believes he was not to blame. He, of all people, without fault. Kakashi would have laughed, but he didn’t want to make Sakura angry. Pakkun eyed them both, and before he could say something again, Kakashi intervened.

“What is the matter, Pakkun? Why are you here?”

“We had no connection to you yesterday. It just vanished, and I wanted to make sure, that everything is alright. What had happened?”

“I died.”, Kakashi answered dryly.

“You what?” Pakkun wasn’t up to any bullshit. He was scared. He couldn’t sense Kakashi yesterday, and that never had happened before.

“I died. I fought and I lost. Naruto somehow managed to get the most of us back to life. Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know. The village is destroyed and most of the people are homeless. That’s why Sakura is here. She had nowhere to go, so I took her in.”

“You voluntarily brought her here?”

“Yes, I couldn’t let her sleep defenceless outside. I was raining last night.”

“Cherry, defenceless?”

“She cannot use any of her chakra for the next couple of days.”

“Really?”, asked Pakkun shocked, as he turned his head to Sakura looking for conformation.

“Yes, it is true. I cannot use my chakra for the next days.”

“I see.  So everything is alright?”

“Yes.”, answered Sakura. Kakashi simply nodded.

“I want to see the village, if you don’t mind.”, said Pakkun slowly.

“I wanted to go to the village, too. You can join me, if you want.”, said Sakura happily, “I am just going to grab my clothes and change.” Pakkun nodded and Sakura went back to her room.

“Are you stupid, Kakashi?! You know what happens when you sleep in this house, and you didn’t warn her about it? She could have been seriously hurt. Why isn’t she with her parents?”

“I know; I feel guilty enough. I don’t need you to guilt-trip me even more. You have heard her, she is alright.”

“I hope she really is alright. Do you think you can let her here?”

“I think so. Her parents will not be here within the next two days. She knows now what can happen, and she isn’t stupid. She won’t engage with me right away now, but I share your concern.”

“As long as you do.”

Sakura came back from her room and not for the first time she was happy, that she wore a turtleneck. She zipped her up, and the marks that Kakashi had left on her weren’t so obvious any more. It didn’t go unnoticed by Pakkun and by Kakashi, that she was covering the marks in her neck. She gave both of them a genuine smile and her and Pakkun made their way into the village.

It was just like Kakashi described. The whole village was destroyed. Hardly a house still stood in its place. It was a war scene. It was horrible.

“Kakashi told me your parents were not in the village, is that right?”

“Yes, my mother was already out of the village and my father left an hour before the attack. They are hopefully safe. I want to write them a letter that I am alright, then I want to help in the village. Is there anything in particular that you are up to?”

“I just wanted to walk through the village and have a look around.”

“And look after me because I don’t know when I overdo myself.”

“You are smart, Cherry.”

“I know.”, she smiled at him as they walked further into the village. It was a weird feeling to see all the known places destroyed and even a weirder feeling to know, that most of the people they are passing on the street would be dead right now. As they passed the former market, someone called out for Sakura. She turned round and saw Yamato. He looked sad.

“Sakura, I have found you, where have you been? – Oh hello Pakkun.”

“Yamato-taichou, I am staying with Kakashi-sensei. What is wrong?”

“Sakura, it is your father, he was found dead, outside the village. I am so sorry.” Sakura froze. That was impossible. He was away. An hour away, to be precisely.

“Where is he?” She asked, her voice was cold. This tone was new.

“In the morgue. He had been brought there a couple of hours ago.” She nodded and made her way directly to it. The hospital was destroyed, but the morgue was in a different place, on the rim of the village. She walked there hurriedly. She had a tunnel vision. She didn’t even notice that Pakkun was following her. This couldn’t be true. They were wrong, they have to be wrong. She didn’t stop until she was standing in front of a dead body. It was still covered by a pall. Her hands were shaking. She moved closer to the metallic table. She reached out her shaking hand. She lifted a pall. A scream escaped her, and she went to the ground, her legs were not strong enough to hold her any more. She was crying uncontrollably. Yamato was right, it was her father…

Chapter Text

Sakura was in a sort of trance. She didn’t hear Pakkun calling her name or Yamato trying to comfort her. She just went out. She needed air and most importantly, she needed to talk to her mother, before she heard the news from someone else. Her mother was a 4-hour civilian trip away, she, as a shinobi could make it in one hour, but she cannot use her chakra, so she would need 4 hours as well. If she started now, she would be there in the evening. Her feet started to walk automatically. Her mind was completely blank. Her body just moved and she followed.

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Kakashi was in his kitchen preparing lunch when Pakkun entered his old family home. He was breathless. Pakkun was looking restless and concerned.

“What’s wrong?”, asked Kakashi while chopping the vegetables, he figured that Sakura could use a good and healthy lunch and in his opinion it is the least that he could do.

“It is Sakura.”, said Pakkun and took a deep breath, Kakashi laid down the knife and focused completely on Pakkun.

“She got bad news. Her father was killed at an outpost of Konoha during the attack yesterday. Tenzou reported it to her. Some chunin found him and some other shinobi at point Ki. He wanted to comfort her and I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t seem to notice. She left the village. She headed towards point Ki. I tried to stop her, but she wasn’t amenable. She is defenceless out there. You know that she can’t use her chakra right now and in her state of mind she wouldn’t even notice if someone was approaching her. I am worried.” Kakashi didn’t even respond. He put the pot off the stove and left his house. He knew Pakkun would watch the ground. He was worried too. In those moments, Sakura thought with her heart. She probably wanted to go to her mother and she wouldn’t stop until she reached her, but this was too exhausting for her healing body. She was low on chakra and had an injury. She was supposed to be resting and not go on a road trip to her mother. He made his way through the destroyed Konoha and left through the west gate at the other side of the village. Point Ki was for ninjas 15 minutes away, but Sakura would need four times longer because she can’t use her chakra. Therefore, he should catch up to her very soon. He was five minutes into his run, when he spotted her pink hair. She was still walking. He noticed her body shaking. He jumped down from the branches. She didn’t even notice him approaching, just like Pakkun had said.

“Sakura, stop.”, said Kakashi next to her. She didn’t respond. It made him angry. His hand formed a fist automatically. He forced himself to relax, then he smelled her tears. She really was not aware of him, this was dangerous. She was in danger. Konoha was weakened, and other nations could use this state to invade them and to kill or hold hostage of the apprentice of the fifths Hokage was a good place to start. Furthermore, Sakura was family. She said it herself yesterday. How could she be so reckless. If he lost her, too. He didn’t even want to think about it. Didn’t she see that her actions are dumb and dangerous? He understood that she was in shock and that the death of her father and the destruction of Konoha all in the span of 24 hours was too much for her, but risking her own life to go to her mother and tell her in person that her husband was dead, wasn’t worth it. She was making herself important to Naruto and to him, and she couldn’t go out and risk her life like that.

“Sakura?”, he called out for her again. And again she didn’t respond. It was like there is a lifeless shell that looked like Sakura and smelled like her, but all of her joy and personality were vanished. He knew that state from himself. He never thought it was possible that Sakura would fall into that kind of mental state. She always knew how to express her feelings and how to feel them. To see her like this frightened him more than he’d liked to admit. He was truly worried about her. He reached out for her and pulled her shoulder back to turn her. Now they were standing face to face and her tears were coming faster and faster.

“He is… my dad…”, then her voice broke, and she started to cry hysterically. He pulled her closer. He realized what he did after she put her arms around him. He acted automatically again. He thought he would feel more uncomfortable with Sakura wrapped around him, but he couldn’t feel any discomfort. Kakashi was surprised by that. He wasn’t good with feelings, and he knew that, and he wasn’t the person that comforted other people, but comforting Sakura felt natural to him.

“Sh… I know.”, he said calmly and patted the back of her head. She pressed herself more into him. She seemed to calm down because of that. “But we need to move out of this way. It is dangerous on this route. Can you walk?” She nodded into his chest and loosened her grip around him. He took her hand and pulled her with him. He made his way to a safe shelter the anbu used. They could talk in there.

“What was your plan, Sakura?”

“I need to go to my mother. She needs to know about dad. She is probably worried sick because he hasn’t arrived. She shouldn’t hear it through other people. It should be someone she trusts.”

“And you wanted to go there all by yourself without telling anyone where you are and what had happened? You can’t use your chakra. This would have taken hours, and you are defenceless. It would have been pretty easy to kidnap or kill you.”, his sounded angry. She realized that. She felt even worse and her tears were coming faster again.

“No, stop. I didn’t mean to be angry with you. Ah- why am I so bad at this.”, he said, more calm this time. She didn’t respond, she just cried, and Kakashi gave her the time she needed to calm down.

“I will go and tell her, she needs to hear it from someone she trusts.”, said Sakura after a while. She had calmed down again. Her body was still shaking, and her eyes were swollen.

“No, it is too dangerous.”, he said calmly but also strict.

“I will go. You can’t stop me.”, she said, more confident, than she thought she would sound.

“I can, and I will, but I wouldn’t want to use force. I will go. Your mother knows me and I will tell her everything, but first I will bring you back to the house. I summon the pack, and they will keep you company until I return. These are my conditions. Whether you agree or, I will knock you out and send a messenger bird to your mother.” Sakura was quiet for some time, then she nodded.

“Can you summon the pack now? They can bring me back, and you can go to my mom. I don’t want her to worry any longer than she has to.”, said Sakura with the fakest smile Kakashi had ever seen on her face.

“Ok, that is a deal. Is there a message you want me to tell your mother?”

“Yes, tell her that she should stay with my grandma. I will take care of everything. They won’t bury him in the next five days. They need to clear the cemetery, and they will do an autopsy. And tell her that I am sorry, if I had known, I would have saved him.”, she said calmly, her tears are dried and her mood switched entirely.

“I see. I will tell her that, but it wasn’t your fault.”, Kakashi answered and summoned his pack. Sakura didn’t respond. Pakkun was still in Kakashis family house and therefore not with the others. The rest were worried and interested. They were still shaken from the connection loss between them. They hoped he would make up for their worried with a bath or some treats, but they realized soon that this was not going to happen. Kakashi briefly explained the situation.

“And there is no way, that I can come with you?”, asked Sakura after a short while.

“No. I told you my conditions. Will you behave?”

“I am no child.”, she said stubborn. Kakashi gave her a meaningful stare. He wasn’t up for any bullshit.

“Yes, I will behave.”, she said silently.

“Good girl.”, he said calmly and then shrugged internally because this came way too sexual. Sakura had a soft blush on her face, and then she turned her face away from him. She told him where her grandparents live and then greeted the dogs, and they made their way to Konoha while Kakashi made his way to Sakuras mother.

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Bull went ahead, the rest of the pack positioned themselves around Sakura. They were always ready to defend her. Kakashis instructions were clear, bring Sakura back home safely, whatever it takes. Thankfully, they weren’t far from the village and no one was near them. It was weird for the pack to see Kakashi that worried, furthermore his scent was all over her. They telepathically agreed to asked Pakkun if something had happened between them. If someone knew something would be Pakkun. At the moment they reached Konoha they were in shock. The village was destroyed. The ninken walked slowly through the village. They have never seen Konoha in such a state, even after the ninetails attack it wasn’t as much destroyed as it was now. After a couple more minutes, they reached Kakashis old family house. Pakkun was waiting for them. He greeted them all.

“Where is Kakashi?”, he asked.

“He went to Sakuras mother to tell her that Sakura is safe and that Sakuras father sadly died during the attack.”, said Bull. Pakkun nodded.

“Is anyone around?”, asked Sakura. All the dogs shook their head.

“Great.”, she answered and put her shirt off. She needed to get out of these clothes. She wanted to shower and leave this day behind. As soon as the dogs saw the purple handmarks on her neck, they growled. They demanded to know what happened to her, and she told them, that Pakkun would tell them anything. Then she went into the bathroom.

The cold water ran over Sakuras body and with every minute that past her body ached more and more, simultaneously she went numb. It was a weird feeling between feeling bodily pain and feeling nothing at all. She was exhausted. The last day was tiring, the last night even more, and the day today was only worse than she had ever imagined. She just wanted to wash these last two days off and go to bed. She stepped out of the shower and Pakkun already waited for her.

-----------------------------------

Kakashi knocked on the front door of the house Sakura had described to him. He heard some rummage and the door flew open and Sakuras mother ran into him. He could have dodged her attack, but he thought it best not to.

“Oh I am sorry I thought you were my hus…”, started the woman and then looked up to him., “Kakashi Hatake? If you are looking for Sakura, she is in the village. She couldn’t care to come with me or her father. Her poor grandmother hadn’t seen her in months, but she is too busy playing ninja.” Then Mebuki Haruno took a step back. Playing Ninja? He thought. Sakura playing ninja? She is a ninja. Why should he play that?

“Ahem, no, I am not looking for Sakura. I am here to inform you, that Konoha got attacked yesterday and is completely destroyed.”

“What about my husband? Is he alright?”, the woman asked immediately. This question was weird to Kakashi. Why isn’t she asking about her daughter?

“Unfortunately, he got caught in the attack and didn’t survive it. He died yesterday. I am sorry.” Mebuki Haruno collapsed immediately. She started to cry hysterically.

“And what about Sakura, why didn’t she heal him? I thought she is a medic, of course she couldn’t be bothered to safe her poor father.”

“She directed the hospital and its patients during the attack, and she was an important asset to the village. She didn’t know he was attacked until this morning, and then it was too late. She asked me to tell you, that you should stay here, and she will arrange everything and that she will let you know when you should come back. And she is very sorry that she couldn’t help him.”

“As she should be. What a waste of space, this girl is. Not even in her profession, she is useful. I will come back, when it suits me best, not her. I cannot entrust her with the planning of the funeral. She will just ruin it, like she usually does. What about my house, is it destroyed as well?” Kakashi was perplexed. How could this woman say such nasty, this about Sakura, her own daughter? She was a strong woman who is one of the best medi-nins of their time, but her mother belittled her like she was a useless academy student.

“The whole village is in ruins and so is your house.”, he answered still too stunned to answer properly. He just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact, that Sakuras mother thinks so little of her.

“Thank you Kakashi. I guess that will be all.”, she said and turned her head to go off into the house.

“Sakura is safe by the way. She did an excellent job.”, said Kakashi forcing himself to be calm.

“Yes, whatever.” With that, Mebuki disappeared into the house. Kakashis mind worked without a break. How is it that he never knew, that Sakuras mother is such a monster? He had met her three or four times for only short interactions, but looking back he realized that Sakura always looked sad, when she was about to go home. He always envied Sakura for having parents and didn’t understand why she chose to be a ninja. It was a hard and ungrateful life full of pain and death, but still this young girl wanted to become a ninja, even though she had, as he thought, everything. He realized once more that he didn’t know her as much as he thought he had. And for the first time he truly believed that not having parents wasn’t the worst option. He made his way back to Konoha. In an hour, he would be back at his family house, and he could start to get to know Sakura a little better.

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“So”, started Pakkun as soon as he saw Sakura leave the bathroom, “I told the pack what you told me, that Boss had mistaken you for an enemy and that you guys worked it out. How do you feel right now?”

“I am tired, but I am fine, I guess.”, answered Sakura and taking a seat on the back porch of Kakashis family home next to Pakkun. They could see some dogs of Kakashis pack. All of them were on guard duty, even though they are safe here.

“So now we can talk properly about what had happened?”

“What should I say? I thought I needed to go to my mother-“

“Not about that, it was understandable even though it was risky and dumb. Are you really alright? I remember the first time I saw Kakashi in this state. It was frightening.”

“I am alright. I should have known better than approaching him in such a state, and it was foolish to think, that Kakashi wouldn’t have nightmares. I mean, we all have them. May I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Does he always have such bad dreams?”, she asked shyly, she didn’t want to pry, she just wanted to know what will happen in the future. Pakkun stayed silent for some time, he decided whether he should tell her or not. Then he took a deep breath.

“You know-“, started Pakkun, but got interrupted by Sakura.

“Wait! I shouldn’t have asked. It brings you in an impossible situation. I know, that you wouldn’t tell you anything that Kakashi had told me before. It would be disloyal.”

“You are really smart, Cherry.”

“Thank you Pakkun. Can we make a deal? I will tell you what I think is happening, and you just say nothing. I just want to get it out of my system.”

“Sure. I will stay silent.”, answered Pakkun. It really was a good deal, he wouldn’t confirm or deny anything, but Sakura would still know in the end.

“I think Kakashi usually has nightmares, but only if he is at home. I never have him heard having a nightmare before. I think that his nightmares are worse, when he is at home and stopped himself from having them on missions. I think that’s why he usually takes the watches at night. He doesn’t want to have these dreams while being on mission, and no sleep is probably better than potentially endanger his whole squad. I think he usually has them after a really dark mission or the first nights sleeping in this house. It brings back a lot of sad memories.” Pakkun stayed silent, but they both knew that Sakura was right. Tears were slowly forming in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but she couldn’t stop herself this time. Her crying intensified and Pakkun put his head on her thigh. They stayed there in silence, the only thing hearable is the wind and Sakuras sobbing.

“I am sorry; I know I shouldn’t cry. I…”, she said, after she calmed down a bit.

“Of course you are sad. You lost your father today.”, said Kakashi behind her. She tensed because of the shock. When did he arrive here? He looked at her, his one visible eye filled with sadness. He knew the pain of losing a father and after the meeting with her mother, he realized that there is not much family left for Sakura. Sakura put her hand on Pakkuns head and started to pet him. A small smile hushed over Kakashis lips. The sight of Sakura and Pakkun comforting each other was somehow comforting for him.

“Did you find my mother?”

“I did, and I told her everything you asked me to, but I guess she will come here sooner than later.”

“Of course she will.”, sighed Sakura. She knew her mother, therefore she knew her mother didn’t trust her with planning the funeral.

“I hope she wasn’t impolite to you.”, said Sakura.

“No, not to me anyway. Sakura, your mother was-“

“I know, did she ask why I didn’t save him? Or did she tell you that I am a waste of space? Or was she bragging about me playing ninja? That one is definitely my favorite.”, she said sarcastically.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. It had always been like this. I don’t know it any other way. So don’t worry.”, her tone was calm.

“You don’t have to hide the fact that you are sad, because I know you are. I was sad too when my father died.”

“It’s not that. I am sad that my father is dead, I am sad that my mother and grandmother are sad, but most importantly I am sad, that I am not as sad as I should be. I should be devastated, but I am simply not. It is not like I wouldn’t care he is dead, it is just not as hurtful as I hoped it would be, as it is supposed to be. I mean, he is… was my father, but still there is nearly nothing. I didn’t lie to you last night, team seven is a family to me, and it is the only real family that I have. My parents, especially my mother, degraded me all the time. They belittled me. My issues were never important enough for them to care. When I told them, I want to become a ninja and serve the village, the first thing they did was laughing, not because they were proud, they were laughing at me because I wasn’t clever, or strong, or even beautiful enough to become a successful konoichi. In the academy I was bullied for my hair color and my big forehead, when I came home crying one day and told them everything, they just sat back and told me that the kids at school are right and that I should get over with it. They were never good parents, not even good people, and I cannot bring myself to grief someone like him. My birth-family was never a family, not to me anyway. I realized really fast that whatever I do will never be good enough for them. That’s why team seven is so important to me. Maybe they were right, and I am a useless waste of space or even a monster. I mean, who doesn’t grief one of their parents' death?”, she was calm and Kakashi listened carefully. He was shocked. How could she think that she is useless? She saved him and Naruto so often. She was a strong and brilliant konoichi and a fantastic medic, and she was becoming a beautiful woman. He turned himself to her and looked her straight in the eyes.

“I never want to hear you talk bad about you ever again. You are an amazing person, and I am proud to be part of your life and your family. You are so much stronger than I ever will be and most importantly you are enough. You are enough and you will always be enough. Naruto, Sai, Tenzou and I, we are your family, and we care for you. You have saved countless life’s today, and you will save even more in the future. Your strength is frightening to anyone, who was unfortunate enough to stand on the wrong side of your fist. But most importantly, you are beautiful from the inside and out. Never, and I never mean, say something like this about you again. It is your mothers' loss, if she doesn’t see your worth.”

“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei.”, answered Sakura, and then they looked at the sky, both knowing that the bond that they shared is deepened and different now, but neither one of them could feel sorry for that.

Chapter Text

The days passed pretty quickly. Yamato was rebuilding Konoha, thanks to his wood release it was a fast but draining affair, at least for him, but he didn’t mind. Helping the village was his purpose in life, and he was happy that they relied on him that much. Most of the Shinobis were back in solid flats. Only the civilians stayed in the tents, which weren’t so crowded any more with the shinobi gone. Tsunade wasn’t back on track, and Danzo was declared sixth Hokage. All of them feared what would happen next. Danzo was a dangerous man. He was the head of the disassembled Anbu-Ne and even though neither Yamato nor Sai were members of root any more the seal on their tongue stayed in place to forbid them from talking about Danzo. Sakura's mother had arrived two days after Kakashis visit. She didn’t even bother to say hello to her daughter. She went straight to her husband. Then she cancelled everything that Sakura had started to plan for her father’s funeral and planned it herself. Sakura wasn’t even sure she was invited to the funeral, but she knew for a fact that she wasn’t welcomed neither to the funeral nor to live with her mother again. She needed a flat and thanks to her status as the apprentice of the fifths Hokage and the most promising medic protégé, she got a flat between the hospital and the Hokage residence. Danzo would not trust Shizune to be his personal medic, but he believed he could form Sakura to his will. Needless to say, he was wrong. The only problem with this flat was, that it was currently needed for some councilmen. She needed to wait two more weeks to move in, but that was a small price to pay, in her opinion. Kakashi had invited her to stay, but she refused. She really didn’t want to outstay her welcome. He went far beyond everything that she had ever hoped for to help her, but she knew he was a private person. She didn’t want him to get tired of her. She liked the new dynamic that they had formed after the attack. It was more teasingly than before. She called him Kakashi more often, and he preferred that by now. She saw him at his worst, there was no pretending otherwise. He had another nightmare the night after his first one. She was there for him again. She waited for him to be conscious again, and then she held him through the rest. It shortened his nightmares immensely. She helped him to snap back, and he never had been more thankful in his life. The first night after Sakura left was, mildly speaking, hell for Kakashi. He had one of his worse nightmares. When she saw him the next day to get the rest of her stuff and some lunch as a thank you for Kakashi, she was shocked. She asked him about his night and he answered truthfully. The second night after her leave, she was back. She came at his worst and left when he was stable enough to be alone again. The night after that, it happened again. She came in, helped him and left. She was like his guardian angel in his nights of horror. It helped him see her more like an equal, and he felt better, when he saw her as an equal rather than his student. He could allow himself to not feel completely like shit, when another adult was there to help him and not his student. He knew that technically they are still superiors and subordinate, but even that was better than Sensei and student. It surprised him, that she denied his invite to stay. A part of him did not want her to go back to her mother, but she told him, that it was best, when she went back. He didn’t argue with her, even if he wanted to. It was her decision, at least until now.

Tenzou came looking for him this morning. A week since the attack had passed and the village was coming back to its old glory more and more. Sakura was gone for 3 days by now. She left a day after her mother came back to the village. Tenzou looked stressed and worried. He had asked Kakashi if he knew where Sakura stays overnight, because he heard a rumour that her mother disowned her the second she saw her for not saving her father. Then he informed Kakashi that the flat Sakura was promised will not be ready for her until the end of the next week. He told him, that Sakura wasn’t at the funeral of her father, because her mother and grandmother made it clear that she is not welcomed or wanted neither there nor in their lives. He wouldn’t have thought anything by it, if he hadn’t met her mother and her not so charming personality himself. Now he was worried again. She probably didn’t want to be a bother for him and that’s why she hadn’t said anything, but she came over every night. Why didn’t she just stay? Where did she go after? He thanked his old kohai for the information and then formed the signs to call Pakkun.

“What’s up, boss?”, Pakkun asked.

“You need to help me find, Sakura. I thought, she was staying with her mother, but it seems like she isn’t welcomed in her own home any more. I think she can use her chakra again, but she still shouldn’t sleep outside with the village being this open to attack. Danzo is Hokage, and that doesn’t make things easier.”

“I understand, boss. Give me a sec, and I will sniff her out.”

“Thanks, Pakkun.”, answered Kakashi, and Pakkun started to move. Kakashi followed. They were leading directly to the graveyard.

“Cherry had spent some time here, boss.”, said Pakkun, then they made their way to the Hokage tower. What was she doing here? He marked his chakra signature, and Pakkun vanished to his own world again. Kakashi could find her on his own from here. He walked up, on the outside of the building, and stopped at the window of the Hokage office. Root must be not as good as he thought they would be, because he still wasn’t caught, even though he could clearly hear Danzo talk to Sakura.

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The moment Sakura woke up from her ‘sleep’ on training ground three, she knew the day would be just as awful as her place to sleep. She wouldn’t want to bother Kakashi again, that’s why she slept outside. Her mother made it clear to her, that she wasn’t her daughter any more. Today was the funeral, she knew she wasn’t wanted to be there either, but that wouldn’t stop her, not entirely at least. She went to the training hall at took a quick shower, then she put on a henge and went to the graveyard. She was standing a bit aside from the whole service, but she could hear anything. It was a pleasant service and a lot of people came. When the guest asked about Sakura, her mother said, that she didn’t bother to come, because being a ninja was more important than her father’s funeral.  Most of the guests didn’t take it as her mother tried to make it out to be. She heard some of them say, that they think it is honourable for her to serve her village than being here wishing her father goodbye. She took some comfort from that. Furthermore, she thought about busting in, but she didn’t want to track any attention. She knew her mother was hurting, and she still cared for her. In the end, this woman was her mother.

The funeral was over and the guests as well as her mother left the graveyard, and she dropped the henge. She went to her father’s grave and stood there in silence for a couple of minutes. She wished him a goodbye and recalled all the memories she had with him, that was when the anbu had found her.

“The Hokage wants to see you immediately.”, said the man behind the mask. She didn’t recognize him, therefore he wasn’t one of Tsunades usual guards, and then she remembered that Tsunade isn’t the Hokage any more.

“I understand.”, she nodded and made her way to the Hokage tower. She knew he would call for her, and that sooner than later. She was surprised that he had enough dignity to wait until her father was buried. Sakura made her way to Danzo rather quickly. She knew better than to let this man wait. She met him before during Tsunades reign. Her shishou hated to be confronted with the ex-teammate of her sensei, and that’s why Sakura got all the ‘pleasure’ to work with him. He always made inappropriate comments to some other women who happened to work for the council as well. They were all a couple of years older than Sakura, and he never even batted an eye on her. She could only hope it stayed that way. She knocked on the office door and entered after Danzo asked her to.

“Hokage-sama, you asked for me.”, she said and bowed slightly.

“Is that how you greet your Hokage? Anbu, you can leave, this specific blossom is neither harmful nor toxic, am I right, Sakura?”, his voice was different. A shiver ran down her spine, she knew that tone on him.

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”, she answered. In reality, she wanted to punch him, hard, so hard that her hand would go right through his chest.

“Good, and now greet your Hokage properly.” Sakura obeyed and went down on one knee, greeted him like anbu did. She knew he liked to play with his power, all of these old man did.

“That is right.”, he said, a disgusting smile on his face. “I actually prefer you on your knees.” She knew this would come, maybe she was now of age to him or the loss of her shishou's protection made him bold enough to say such things. She needed every piece of her will not to kill him. Not only that, but she had her chakra and her anger back, but also her senses, and killing the current Hokage doesn’t seem like the right choice. Danzo walked closer to her.

“You know, I am in need of a new head medic.”, Danzo said slowly. Sakura is still in her knee. She knew she couldn’t get up, before Danzo allowed her to.

“No, I didn’t know, but I believe that Shizune is available.”

“I wasn’t thinking about Shizune; I was thinking about you. I believe that you are just as qualified as Shizune is.”

“You are flattering me. Shizune is the senior, and she is far better than me.” She answered looking up at him, that it when she saw it, a bunch of silver hair and one grey eye fixed on her. He made sure she can see him and knows that he was here. He was ready to kill Danzo without a second thought. She shook her head slightly, and Kakashi realized she wouldn’t want him to interact. She wanted him to listen, and so he did.

“But she isn’t trustworthy. You saw what the politics of the third did to Konoha. It cost you your little boyfriend.” Sakura tensed, is that how he wanted her to be on his side? Making her believe it was the third's fault that Sasuke left. “And now your father. The last Uchiha is out there and nobody knows where. I want to reunite him with you. You know that I will have the power to decide what will happen in this village, and when he comes back I can force him to marry you.” Sakura froze. Is he serious? Of course, she loved Sasuke, even after everything, but she wants him to with her willingly. How can he believe he was strong enough to bring Sasuke back and force him to marry her? “So you see, this new arrangement will be satisfactory for you and all you need to do is be my medic and be available to me until the Uchiha is back in the village. Of course, you will get a seal, but this is nothing you should be worrying about.” He now closed the gap between them and hold her face with his unwrapped arm.

“I am sorry, Hokage-sama, but I cannot agree with this.” Kakashi felt pride run through his body. Sakura was a strong girl by now and not taking this opportunity to get Sasuke, even though she still has feelings for him, made him more proud than it should have. For him, it was idiotic to still harbour feelings for Sasuke, but he understood that you cannot choose who you love. Therefore, he was proud, that she stood her ground.

“You know, that I can force you, if I want to, and as it happens I want to. I didn’t like your attitude when you were working for Tsunade. I will be out of town for the five Kage conference and after that, you will be doing what you are told, when you are told.“ Sakura didn’t answer. She got up, bowed again and left as fast as she could.

Kakashi followed her, that was enough for him to hear. He knew Danzo was a prick, but that? That was more than he could ever have imagined. He knew that he needed to protect Sakura, whatever it may cost him. He followed her to the trainings ground. She stopped there and waited for him to come closer.

“I will not allow it.”, he said, still furious.

“You will, you have to.”, she said calmly.

“But-“, he started.

“But what Kakashi?”, she asked. He looked at her for a short moment. He knew that they would need privacy for the rest of their conversation. He formed some signs, grabbed Sakura by her shoulder and teleported with her to his old family home. She looked at him confused, but recognized the house.

“We have to get you out of here. We will leave.”

“We? You would come with me?”, asked Sakura shyly.

“Of course! You said it yourself, we are family and I will not leave your side.”, answered Kakashi sincere.

“But we cannot leave and let everyone else here alone with Danzo. We can’t leave them behind. And I will not allow you to become a nuke nin, not after everything that you have done and sacrificed for Konoha.”

“I will not stay back and let him rape you. They must be a way for you to get out of his view.”

“So that he looks to the next konoichi, maybe even younger than me. They are only two ways out of this. I get married or Danzo dies. Even though I know Naruto would marry me in an instant, I wouldn’t want that. I love him too much for that. That is definitely not the life he deserves. And I don’t think that they are any other suitors.”

“I would marry you, it keeps you out of this.” His voice was calm now, and he looked her deep in the eyes. He meant every word that he had said. He would marry her immediately. They could get the marriage annulled as soon as Danzo is out of the office.

“What?”, she asked. He just said that, like it was nothing.

“We will get married, if it helps you to get out of Danzo grasp.”, he confirmed her.

“We would need the permission of our Hokage to get married and Danzo wouldn’t allow it.”, she argued, still touched by his selfless action.

“Then I will kill him.”, he said firmly.

“No, you won’t kill our Hokage.”

“But-“

“Kakashi… I am a konoichi. I will do what I must. Just don’t interfere. I knew that this will happen sooner or later. It's no different from when Tsunade would have ordered me to sleep with him, so she could get the information she requires. I will be close to him, close enough to get important information, that will help us to destroy him. You know I am right.” Kakashi took a deep breath. She was right. Even though he didn’t like it. She was the best chance to get close to him, to get him to his knees and overthrow him, but it still didn’t felt right.

“But Tsunade would have never ordered that to you.”

“She already had. I just turned him down, so he doesn’t get suspicious and thinks he has all the power. This is a mission Kakashi, a mission I said yes to.”, her voice was soft, and her gaze didn’t meet his, she was too afraid of what she could see.

“Fine, but I don’t like it. But right now you will stay with me. Yamato informed me about your situation. Why didn’t you say anything? You came over every night. You could have stayed then.”

“I don’t want to be a bother, not to you. I am almost an adult, and I am a konoichi for three years now. I can take care of myself.”

“But there is no shame in asking for help from a friend. That’s what you have told me, remember? So take my help and stay. You are no burden to me. I am glad if I can help you. Maybe we will find another way to destroy Danzo.”

“That would be great, I have never imagined Danzo to be my first, but you know what they say about older lovers.”, Sakura joked to lighten up the mood, but Kakashi only stiffen more because of it. Her first. She was a virgin. That didn’t sit well with him. There was a short moment of silence before Kakashi started again.

“I will say something that I usually wouldn’t, but have sex. Your first time should be with someone you trust. I don’t care with whom, but do it. Explain your situation to Naruto and have your first time with him. He would understand that waiting for Sasuke isn’t an option any more or ask Sai or Shino, Kiba would be a good choice as well or Shikamaru or Choji, even Neji. Do it with someone who would understand your situation, someone that you trust with your life.”

“If I would look for someone like this, I would ask you.” Her gaze was soft, and a cold shiver ran down Kakashi’s spine as he met hers. His cheeks and ears were turning red, and he hoped that she didn’t notice. Is that why she didn’t stay? Did she have feelings for him? His brain couldn’t comprehend the information that it got. Him? She would have asked him?

“Sakura, I… I…”

“You are such an idiot Kakashi-sensei.”, she said with a soft smile and then turned in his kitchen to make them both a tea.

Chapter Text

A few moments passed as they were both staring at the beautiful night sky above Konoha. The weather got quite chilly by now and the village looked as peaceful as ever. Even though, Kakashi felt anger towards himself, and he tried to get rid of the memories of that day. He wished he had never chocked her, and he wished that Tsunade never gave Sakura that nasty mission. It took him months to talk to her properly again. He was so mad at her, he still is, when he thinks about it. How could she order that? Especially to Sakura, who was like a daughter to her. His thoughts got interrupted by Sakura. She took a loud and deep breath, and then she started to chuckle.

“What is so funny?”, he asked, light-hearted. Hearing her chuckle after everything that happened today was like angels singing. She went through so much today. Facing the possibility to lose her child, the last living connection to her husband, then being faced by pitiful friends and him who wasn’t much help. Then being reminded of the death of her father and the incident that happened afterwards, and still she could chuckle like a little child, light-hearted and full-heartedly.

“I still cannot believe you proposed to marry me, if Danzou had come back into the village.”

“I would have. Protecting you was my biggest concern at that time. It still is. What I can’t believe is, that Tsunade gave you the mission to sleep with him.”, he answered truthfully. The feelings from just now were still in his body, and he was still fighting his anger.

“She needed every information she could get from him, and I was the obvious choice. A hormonal teenager with a bad temper being mad at her shishou and then telling him a secret about her. He would have trusted me after that. Well, not trust, but he wouldn’t have distrusted me.”, argued Sakura. She knew Kakashi was mad at Tsunade for this, but she was a Konoichi, and she would have been pissed if Tsunade had not asked her.

“It was a clever plan, but you were 16 at the time, and you know -”

“A virgin? Yes, I do remember, but it all played out in the end. Danzou got killed by Sasuke. It sounds weird, but he somehow saved me from his grip, even though he didn’t know it at that time, but it was good to know, that you would have had my back.”

“I will always have your back. You can always count on me.”

“I know that, and I am very grateful. You know that I love you, right? And that I wish for you to be happy. How is it that you never had a date, beside that spy, when we were genin?”

“Oh that wasn’t a date and I do have dates, I am just private about it.”

“Why do I hear that for the first time? You have dates? With whom? Oh, don’t say, let me guess. Is it Gai? Or is it Iruka?”

“I am not actually dating, and especially not with a man. Lord first, I thought this rumour is over. I am straight.”, he said, a little annoyed. Kakashi hated it, when people thought he was gay.

“So you are seeing a woman? Who is she? It can’t be Shizune, I would know, and she is happy with Genma. Is it Kurenai? That would be weird, because she was married to Asuma, but –“

“You don’t know her, and I don’t even know why I am telling this to you.”

“Because I am a poor pregnant widow, who needs a good story.”, she said with her puppy gaze in her eyes.

“Are you really playing this card?”, he asked.

“I am, if it works.”

“Well it doesn’t. And it doesn’t matter anyway. It is much more complex than dating or feelings. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, fine. Sorry I asked.”, she said with a light smile on her face.

“We should get you home, don’t you think? You are pregnant and it is getting cold.”

“Maybe you are right. It really is getting cold.” They both got up and made their way back to the bottom of the Hokage monument. It was a chilly night with a clear night sky. They were walking in silence, but Kakashi could feel Sakura brood.

“What is it?”, he asked calmly.

“You are really seeing someone? I mean someone other than your right hand?”, she asked, not meeting his gaze with a slight blush over her cheeks.

“I do and just for the record, I use my left hand.” He said teasingly, knowing pretty well that her beautiful blush would only intensify. She stopped for a short moment. She was stunned by his openness, even though he only did it to tease her. He did not stop, he was way too pleased with himself and the reaction he got from her. She snapped back and followed him until she reached him.

“Good for you”, she laughed, “I have a vibrator for that.” Kakashi’s smile intensified, he missed that. Just them teasing the other and being stupid.

“The youth of today, what happened to the good old hand work?”

“We have machines for that now, you should catch up if you don’t want to look old, Grandpa.”

“I will keep that in mind, the next time I go into a sex shop to buy, I quote ‘one of these filthy books’.”, he said mimicking her voice.

“You better are; we don’t want your little girlfriend to get bored of your hand work.”

“Don’t you worry about that.”, he said calmly. He really did not want to discuss this with Sakura, but he knew her, he knew her well, and she wouldn’t stop asking until she knows what she wants to know. So he prepared himself for what will follow.

“I know, you won’t tell me who she is, but I just want to know if she makes you happy.”

“Sakura… it is nothing like that. I… She and I are not in a relationship. It is complicated, and you should really not worry about any of that.”

“How can I not? You are my best friend, and I didn’t know that. That means there is something you think you cannot talk to me about, and I just want you to know that you can talk with me about everything and that I will keep your secrets.”

“I know; it is just not important. She and I know each other for years. Most of the time we worked together. I saw her, then she stopped, and now she came back. There is no love involved. It is just-”

“Just sex.”, she completed his sentence. “Why did she stop?”

“She got a boyfriend. He was the love of her life, and her and I were always only physical before. I was happy for her and when he died, I was sad with her. He was a good man. They were happy. One day she decided that she didn’t want to be alone all the time and then came back. I never really harboured any feelings for her besides friendship, but I know her and her and I are both pleased with how it is. Are you happy now? Can we drop the subject?”

“Yes, I am and yes we can. I am sorry I pressed you.”

“You are not.”, Kakashi answered with a light tone and his signature smile.

“You are right, I am not.” They fell to comfortable silence again as they walked through the sleeping village. Kakashi made sure Sakura got home safe and then walked home on his own as a masked anbu stepped into his tracks besides him.

“You have told her.”, she said.

“What have I told you about eavesdropping?”, asked Kakashi, defensive. She was here the whole time; she should know that he didn’t have much of a choice.

“You know me, I couldn’t resist and stop being defensive. I am not mad. Not only that, but I am actually proud of you.  I never thought that the day would come. You opened up to her, that’s good. I told you that.”

“Why are you here anyway?”, he asked, his tone was friendly, but she knew he was tired, and his patience was worn off.

“Wanted to see you. I heard you had an exciting day and I know that you would need company. I told Genma to go home to his girlfriend and that I take care of you.”

“And I thought Genma got better in masking his chakra.”, he mocked.

“As if this would ever happen.”, she said, and he nodded in agreement.

“So are you here to bring your Hokage home or your secret bed companion?”

“I am here to look after a good friend, who I happen to love dearly.”

“Love? That is a big word for someone you casually fuck.”, he said sarcastically, but she was having none of it.

“I love you platonically, and you know that. You were my friend long before all of that. You even were my first, as I was yours, and I will always love you for that alone. We had our fair share of emotions with one another, but we moved on from that together. Now we are in a good place, and I am grateful for that. I am grateful for you and our situationship.” Kakashi said nothing. He knew she was right. He knew that she was right with everything. They had their moments, and now they are at a solid place. He barely wondered what would have happened if she said yes that day. He is glad she didn’t. Their dynamic even though nobody seemed to know about it is sacred to him. She was not his person and he wasn’t hers. They didn’t have that dynamic. They didn’t hang out except their casual sex meetings, but they are there for the other, when it mattered the most. She knew him and his dark places, and he knows hers.

“Now let’s get you home, and we can talk about your day, Hokage-sama.”

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On the following morning, Kakashi felt great. He had great sex the night before and slept extraordinary good. His light mood didn’t go unnoticed by the people crossing his way or working in the Hokage tower, and they all seemed to know why, Sakura Uchiha visited him late last night and nobody knew when she left or if she left at all.

“Are we at war?”, asked Shizune, when Kakashi entered his office with two coffees in his hand.

“Not that I know of, why are you asking?”, answered Kakashi truthfully and set one of the coffees on Shizune’s desk.

“What did you do?”, she asked again. Her tone and the crossed arms before her chest gave away that she was serious.

“Nothing that I am aware of, why are you asking?”

“You are on time; you are never on time. You are either late or too late, there is no punctual in your vocabulary, and then you brought me coffee. You are a cheapskate. Not only that, but you don’t pay for other; you usually don’t even pay for yourself.”

“I had a good night’s sleep and woke up early. I am sorry for that. It will never happen again. And I brought you the coffee to thank you for saving Sakura and her baby. Sometimes I forget what an excellent medic you are.”

“You just gave me a compliment, what is wro- OH my… you got laid last night. That’s why you are in such a good mood. You had sex.”

“What if I had?”, he said with a smirk on his face. Shizune felt dizzy. She knew from Genma that Sakura went over to Kakashi last night, he told her that in the restaurant last night, in which they could go because another anbu covered for him. So she was right. Her inner voice was right. Someone knocked on the door, before Shizune could respond. It was Sakura.

“Hello Shizune, hey Kakashi, I really don’t want to disturb you with your work, but I just wanted to thank you Shizune for saving my baby. I will forever be grateful.”

“No Problem. We just need to look after you and that child, to make sure you are both healthy and alive.”, said Shizune.

“And I wanted to thank you, too, for last night Kakashi. It was what I needed, when I needed it.”

“It really was my pleasure Sakura, I will be always there for you.”

“I know, but I still needed to say that. I wanted to ask you if you want to have lunch later, you can come too, Shizune, if you like.”

“Oh, thanks, but I will be fine.”, Shizune answered. This was too much for her.

“I would love to.”, said Kakashi.

“Great, I will pick you up at 1pm. Bye”

“Bye.”, said Kakashi and Shizune in unison. Sakura just confirmed everything. She was with him last night. Shizune felt like she needed to throw up. This was just too much for her. She needed to tell that to Genma. And she needed to inform Tsunade about this. This was just too crazy for her. She wanted to talk about it. She wanted to scold Kakashi for sleeping with his student, while she was married to his other student. This was not right. At least not like this. But she said nothing, and so they worked in silence for a couple of hours before they got interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Sakura again.

“Hey, I am here to pick you up.”, she said to Kakashi while she put a Bento on Shizune’s desk.

“I know, you will not eat properly until noon, so I made you this.”, she said with a short smile on her face. Shizune thanked her and wished them both a good lunch.

“So, what do you want to eat?”, he asked her, while getting up.

“Ichiraku?”, she answered.

“Sounds great.” With that they left. They had an eventless lunch and then went for a walk through Konoha until it was time for Kakashi to go back. He brought Sakura home and went then straight to his office. He wanted to get finished, so he could get diner with Sakura and maybe the dogs. They would love the Uchiha garden. When he came back, Shizune was still in her place, but she wasn’t alone, Genma was with her.

“Hokage-sama”, they both greeted their Hokage.

“Oh stop it. What are you doing here? I thought you don’t have to work today, that’s why Tenzou covered for you.”

“I am just here to say hello to my beautiful girlfriend and to tell you, that I am here for you, whatever it is that you want to talk about.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Kakashi asked confused.

“Only that I am your friend and will always have your back.”

“Okay, thanks buddy, I would do the same for you.”, Kakashi answered confused as he made his way back to his desk. Genma looked at Shizune, she just shook her head to make him stop. Kakashi wasn’t ready to talk about it, and no one could press something like this out of him. Genma gave Shizune a quick kiss and then left.

“You know what this was about, don’t you?”, Kakashi asked Shizune after they fell into working silence again.

“Maybe.”

“So do you want me to beg or are you just going to tell me what is wrong with him?”

“Nothing is wrong with him; it is just that there is a rumour.”

“There are always rumours. Most of them are false anyway. Whatever they are saying about him, it is probably not true.”

“It’s… never mind. You are working hard today.” Shizune said, not wanting to continue with the allegation.

“Yes, I thought I could have dinner with Sakura. She doesn’t need to be alone, not in her condition. I could summon the dogs; what do you think, would she like it?”

“I don’t think she would mind, but I am not sure, does the pack now that he is dead?”

“They know, Pakkun knows it since yesterday.”

“Ah, then it wouldn’t be a problem. They all love Sakura.”, said Shizune.

“That’s what I have been thinking.” Kakashi answered and spend the rest of his workday looking through mission reports. Then the evening came, and he went over to Sakura, they had a nice dinner, and then he went home, while reading one of his new books. The next day was very uneventful. Sakura came in the morning to get herself checked by Shizune and then left them both to fend themselves through the paperwork. Kakashi finished his work quite early, but then had to go to the Anbu headquarters to discuss some new secret missions. He knew this would nearly take all night and when this business was finally finished, he went straight to bed.

On this morning, he woke up with a strange feeling. Something was off, but he could pin it down, even if his life depended on it. He realized soon that it would not bring much to think about it too much, and therefore went to work. It was a boring day, but this feeling still didn’t fade away. Then the evening came, and he said his goodbye to Shizune and went straight to the Uchiha district. He knocked on Sakuras door, but she didn’t open it. He also couldn’t hear her. So he went home. Maybe she was going through the village or visiting Sasuke grave. There was no emergency, so he didn’t use his pack to find her. She would have her next check up tomorrow, and then he could see her again. The next morning came and Sakura still didn’t show up. Even Shizune got worried. Sakura would never miss her medical check-up.

“You asked for me.” Naruto said as he entered the office. He noticed immediately that Shizune and Kakashi were in distress.

“Yes I did. Sakura didn’t show up today for her medical check-up.” Shizune told him.

“What? She would never miss this. This is about her child. Sasuke’s child.” Naruto said worried.

“That’s what we thought. Could you go into sage mode and find her or even check if she is alright?”, asked Kakashi.

“Of course, consider it done.” Naruto answered and went into his meditation position. It took him a couple of moments and then he was in the sage mode. Kakashi still got impressed every time he saw it. This was such a great achievement and he always felt a bit of pride.

“So, is she okay?”, asked Shizune worried.

“That is weird. I don’t sense her at all.”

“What do you mean with you don’t sense her?”, asked Kakashi worried.

“This could only mean two things”, Naruto explained, “one she left the village-“

“Impossible, I would have got a report about it.” Kakashi interrupted Naruto.

“-Or two, she is dead.”

Chapter Text

“What do you mean… dead?”, asked Shizune, the shock still audible in her voice. Is it possible? Did Sakura lose her child and then kill herself? But that wouldn’t make sense given the rumour that her and Kakashi are a thing and that this baby is his, but what if this is really all just a rumour, would she kill herself? Would she really, could she really be dead?

“That is all I know, I don’t feel her, not at all, not one bit of her chakra. She is gone. I really don’t know.”, said Naruto. His voice is soft and quiet. The usually loud and happy man is quiet and sad. None of them moved.

Kakashi was numb, quite literally. He felt nothing and everything at the same time. All was a big blur. His stomach clenched and he wanted to throw up. There he was, again in this bottomless pit, alone with his thoughts and his wicked imagination. The face of Sakura constantly on his mind while spiralling downwards, with no end in sight. His stomach clenched once more and his fight or flight instinct kicked in. He knew he needed to get away, away from Shizune and this office with all the burden that it holds. He needed air, fresh air. Kakashi was sure that that would help him to clear his mind and lift that stone from his stomach. Fresh air would allow him to breathe. He didn’t need another thought, his body just moved. He left the office without saying or hearing the words that were said. He needed a way out. Naruto must be wrong, he said to himself as the fresh air hits him. He was simply wrong. She was home and safe and sound and everything was perfect. His feet moved on his own. Before he knew, he was in front of her door and he noticed two things. One, her chakra wasn’t there. He couldn't sense it, not even a hint. Two her scent was almost gone, too, and instead he could smell something rotting. He cursed himself for his superior nose, a normal person would not have smelled this. The stone over his stomach fell and hit him hard. He nearly hadn’t enough time to get his mask off of his face before he started vomiting. After his breakfast went through his head again, he started to prepare himself for what he would see in there. He wouldn’t allow Shizune or Naruto to enter and to see this. Sakura is like a sister to Shizune and Naruto already lost Sasuke and saw his dead body. He wouldn’t want him to go through this again. So there was only him to do this. He took a deep breath, already regretting it, because of the smell of his vomit, which mixed with the smell of rotting flesh. He stretched his hand to the door handle and to his surprise, it was not locked. He entered the house and followed his nose to the origin of the rotting smell. It came from the kitchen. He knew as soon as he opened the door he would see her. Sakura lying on the ground, dead. He knew he could prepare himself as much as he wanted, but it wouldn’t change the fact or actually help him, he would never be prepared enough. But it was time, and therefore he opened the door.

Naruto fell out of his shock when Kakashi left the room. He wanted to follow him immediately, but Shizune stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“What are you doing? Need to follow him.”, he said; tears forming in his eyes. She was still holding his arm.

“Stopping you. I will follow him; you will stay here. I give you permission to act as Hokage today.”

“As if I would care about that now.”, he answered angrily.

“This office needs to be occupied all day and night. And I don’t want you to see this. There is no reason for you to see her, if you are right. You have lost enough already. You have seen enough already. Let Kakashi and me do this. Please. Trust us with this. There is no need for you to torture and traumatize yourself with this. Naruto, I beg you.”, Shizune pleaded. Her grip around his arm tightened.

Naruto wanted to argue, but knew that in the end she was right. There was no reason why he should inflict the image of Sakuras dead body on him, but Kakashi shouldn’t see her, neither. He was the one relying on Sakuras support the most.

“I understand, and I will stay here, but please go and get him. He shouldn’t be seeing this, too. I cannot lose him, too. That would be too much, after Sasuke and Sakura.”

“I promise, I will hurry. Thank you, Naruto.” He nodded and she left. She knew Kakashi and his mental state were a lost cause. There was too much damage done and Kakashi was too comfortable in his pain to face it and get behind it, but she could save Naruto from this place of hurt. The next Hokage could be mentally less damaged than the previous ones. Tsunade was full of grieve and anger when she got the hat and Kakashi probably only said yes to it, because someone important in his life guilt-tripped him to do it. Naruto was different, and she would make sure he stayed that way, even though she had to face the death of a person she loved like a little sister. Shizune knew that she, herself, was less important in this than Naruto, the next leader of this village.

The first thing Shizune noticed as she reached Sakuras home was the open door, the next thing she noticed was the vomit right in front of it. If she had to guess, it was Kakashi’s. She entered the house cautiously. She couldn’t know in which state Kakashi was and if he would identify her as friendly. She walked slowly from room to room, but before she entered the kitchen, she heard a soft cry, more like a whimper. It was Kakashi. That was all the affirmation that she needed. Not only was she too late to spare Kakashi from that torment, she was sure Sakura was dead. Cautiously, she opened the door to the kitchen. Kakashi was sitting on the ground in front of the dining table, on which a plate with not so well looking food and some letters laid.  Kakashi was still whimpering, but there was no sight of Sakura. Shizune released the breath she was holding. That was a good sign.

“Kakashi…”, said Shizune quietly.

“She is… she is…”, Kakashi started but got interrupted by himself. He turned to her, his mask was still hanging loosely around his neck and both of his eyes were in tears.

“She is…” Kakashi started again and then took a deep breath to continue, “she is alright. She left the village yesterday.” And with that every barrier trembled down and Kakashi started to cry like he hadn’t in decades. Every emotion he had ever suppressed came to light. Shizune got down next to him and held him while she was crying, too. She was alright, at least that is what they know now and what they should focus on.

They did not notice how much time had passed, but when they left the house, they realized it probably had been an hour. Naruto must be livid by now. They made their way to the Hokage office. They both noticed how natural the Hokage-role is for Naruto, he just seemed to fit perfectly into this chair and this office. Naruto sensed them only seconds before they entered the office. Immediately he noticed how red Kakashi’s and Shizune’s eyes were, and that was all the affirmation he needed.

“And, is everything taken care for?”, he asked. Trying to avoid saying the obvious and making the fact that he had lost his best friend, a reality.

“She is okay. She left the village yesterday. She left some letters, one for me, one for Kakashi and one for you. She writes that she is sorry that she left without saying goodbye, but she knew she couldn’t do it, if we were all there to wish her well. She went to Tsunade-sama to Amegakure. Tsunade-sama is training new medical nins there and they are building a hospital. Amekagure is a small village in a small country, and they lack of nearly everything after their long history of war and oppression. Sakura probably went there to help Tsunade-sama with the administrational work and to train some students.”, said Shizune visually relieved. Naruto took a deep breath and started to cry. Shizune went over to him and hugged him, like she had with Kakashi.

“I am just so happy, that she is alright. I was so frightened. I really thought I had lost her as well.”, said Naruto, still sobbing into Shizune shoulder. Shizune held him tighter. Naruto needed a couple of minutes to calm down again and regain control over himself. Kakashi was standing in the back of his own office, still emotionally shook from everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. Sakuras letter to him secured in his left hand. He realized that this wasn’t enough, not for him. In her letter, she wrote to him that she knows he’ll understand, given the circumstances in Konoha and the talks. She simply couldn’t stay any longer. But here is the thing, he doesn’t know. He didn’t understand what she was implying, and he really wanted to know why she left without even saying goodbye. In reality, he wanted to know why she left him.

“I want to go to Amegakure.”, Kakashi said out of the blue.

“You… what?” Shizune asked, baffled by Kakashi proposition.

“I want to go to Amegakure.” Kakashi said again.

“You cannot just go there. This needs planning and arrangements.”, answered Shizune, now wondering why she was shocked he wanted to go there in the first place.

“No, Kakashi is right, he needs to go to Amegakure and that as fast as possible. Amegakure now has two of our best medi-nins, and I know the council won't like that. Therefore, Kakashi needs to make their stay there official and the best way for him to understand and defend them, especially Sakura, is to visit them and see with his own eyes why they are both needed there and not in Konoha. Even though I don’t agree with Sakuras departure, I don’t want her to get in trouble with the council, especially not when she is pregnant with the last Uchiha. I don’t want to give them any opportunity to blackmail or pressure Sakura.”

“I can’t believe I am saying this, but Naruto is right.”, Shikamaru said, as he appeared right behind Kakashi. All three of them wonder how long he had been there.

“But it will have consequences when the Hokage leaves the village without informing the council first.” Shizune objected.

“But he will not leave, not officially at least. Naruto, you need to get your wife. She will be a part of this plan. Nothing tiring, I promise.” Shikamaru said again. Naruto did as he was told and came back with Hinata.

“I told Hinata what she needed to know, so what is the plan.” Naruto said, after making sure Hinata had a comfortable place to sit.

“It is actually simple; we will just need a few things. Shizune I need you to fake an inquiry of Tsunade, in which she asked for Sakura expertise for a poison and an antidote. You can do that, right?”

“Of course I can, you really wouldn’t want to know how often I signed for Tsunade.” Shizune answered, as she went to the desk in the room and started to write the inquiry.

“Perfect. The council will see that Sakura is the only one for this job and that she and her baby will be safe when Naruto is coming with her. But here is the twist. It is actually Kakashi that will be going. Naruto was right, you need to see what they are doing there to fully understand it and to therefore protect Sakura and Tsunade from the council. They will argue that this journey is too tiring for Sakura and that she should not have left, because her child is basically the villages' property. We will give them the notice when Sakura will leave.”

“But she had already left. That is the problem.” Naruto explained.

“I know that, therefore Kakashi, you will henge into Naruto and you, Naruto, you will henge into Kakashi and you will stay here. Naruto you need to make a shadow clone, too, that’ll henge into Sakura, so we can see them leave in broad daylight. We and the real Kakashi will stay in contact during the whole trip with messenger hawks. Kakashi you should go and pack. The sooner you leave; the sooner you’ll be back.” Shikamaru explained, and everybody agreed. Kakashi then made his exit to pack a few things.

“But what is my role?”, asked Hinata.

“Oh, I just wanted you to know what is going on, so you are not mad at me or Kakashi for sending your husband away.”

“OK I get that, but why this whole charade? Naruto-kun could have just went himself and then reported everything to Kakashi-sama.” Hinata then proceeds.

“Oh, that would be a drag. Do you really think we would have got a second of peace? He needed to go himself or hell would have broken loose. Trust me, that man is a drama queen.” Shikamaru answered, while rolling his eyes.

Never, not once in his life, was Kakashi as eager as he was now to go on a mission. Sure he thought he would be dying of boredom, after he got the title Hokage, and he played with the idea of starting a war, well a small war, to get out of his office, but nothing was comparable to this feeling right now. He was immensely grateful that he could go himself, even when this whole charade was needed. The council wanted him to retire and that sooner than later. Every step he takes is not only noticed by them, but also commented and judged. They are not happy about how Kakashi is changing the village. He made sure no child had to go to war, and he restructured the ninja school system and the rank system. That makes the village overall more vulnerable, but Kakashi truly believes that they will not be another war in his lifetime, at least no war that hasn’t started by himself out of boredom. This new generation was different, they all bonded through their experiences and out of love and respect for one another. Unlike his generation, which was only fuelled by hate and revenge. But the council doesn’t want to see that. They are both so old and stuffed up in their time, that they don’t see the difference and the change that had been made. There are many times, in which Kakashi wished those relicts of a long-lost time would have just died in the last war or even due to their age, but to everyone’s misfortune they were both the spitting image of life and vitality. Kakashi would be happy to obey, to give up the hat he never wanted in the first place and live the rest of his life carefree, reading all day or going out with his dogs or going on a holiday with Gai. He would still do some smaller missions and would always help Naruto. But he couldn’t, not now, the council wouldn’t vote Naruto into the office, not yet, and everything he did and endured would have been in vain. So he endures more, because he knows it is for the greater good.

With his packed backpack, he went back to the Hokage tower. Everyone was waiting for him. Naruto and Kakashi changed their appearance, and the Sakura doppelgänger was made. Then they went to the gates and said their short goodbyes.

Kakashi had no time to lose and moved quick. He only rested to sleep and even though he was tempted to not sleep at all, but he eventually realized that he needed rest to continue at full speed. It took him three days to get there. He had hoped that he would find Sakura on the way. That she hadn’t travelled at full speed and that they could talk out here in the middle of nowhere, but that wasn’t the case. The Sakura doppelgänger vanished shortly before Amegakure, but Kakashi was still disguised as Naruto.

He entered the big bridge to Amegakure, which is the only way to get in officially. He knew what he had to do, what he had to say. He put on the hood from his cloak and held his face down. The gate to this city is coming closer and closer.

“Hey you, who are you and why are you here?”, asked the guard at the gate. Kakashi looked at him. The guard was very young and probably only a chunin, but Kakashi didn’t want to make any trouble, therefore he lifted his hood and showed “his” face.

“Uzumaki Naruto, I am here to visit Tsunade-sama and Uchiha Sakura.”

“The Naruto?”, asked the guard in disbelief. Kakashi tends to forget that Naruto is not only a hero of his village but of all villages.

“Yes. Can I come in now?” Kakashi just wants to and see Sakura with his own eyes. He just wants to know she is safe.

“Oh, of course, Naruto-san. It is an honour to meet you in person.”, answered the guard and bowed in front of him.

“Oh no, that is not necessary really.”, answered Kakashi obviously embarrassed.

“It is necessary. You saved this world and the life of my brother. But I mustn’t delay you any further. When you follow this path till the end and then go right ways, you will find the hospital in which Tsunade-sama is training new medi nins. She will know where to find Mrs. Uchiha.”

“Thank you, very much.” Kakashi moved as quick as he could without raising any suspicion. He is Naruto now, and nobody except for Sakura should know that he actually isn’t. It would cause more harm than good, if anyone knew he wasn’t Naruto.

As Kakashi entered the building, the scent of sanitizer hit him, even though he was still wearing a mask, the scent was stronger than he had thought, and his nose needed a moment to adjust to this new environment.

“Naruto?”, he heard a familiar voice asking behind him. He turned around and Tsunade was there.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked him.

“Tsunade-sama, I am here to see you and Sakura.” Tsunade nodded and showed him the way to a room, where there can have a more private interaction. In this tiny room full of data files and folders, she started to eye him up. This was awkward.

“She is behind that door”, said Tsunade pointing at a door next to her.

“Thank you, Tsunade-sama” Kakashi turned to the door as he touched the doorknob Tsunade started talking again: “Oh and Kakashi, it's grandma and Sakura-chan.” A big smile formed on her face as he froze and looked back at her. Kakashi dropped the henge-no-jutsu and bowed slightly to Tsunade, then he went into the room with his racing heart and his sweaty hands.

Chapter Text

There she was, healthy and all in one piece. The door shut quietly, and Kakashi nearly forgot how to breathe, he was just so happy, that she was okay. She didn’t even seem to notice him while turning her back to the door of the room. Her beautiful pink hair, was even pinker than Kakashi had remembered it, if that was possible, and his heart raced even more. Her smell filled the whole room and all he wanted to do was bathe in it. Now he allowed himself to be hopeful again and to let go of the fear that something happened to her, therefore he couldn’t stop smiling under his mask. He took a deep breath and made himself known to her. She flinched nearly unnoticeable. He noticed nonetheless. She turned around and her smile, her gorgeous smile, dropped immediately.

“What are you doing here?” She asked him with a slight fear in her voice.

“I am here to see you and to talk to you,” Kakashi answered. His tone was neutral, even though he was spiralling downwards on the inside. The smile he had on his face was long gone. Why did her smile fade? Doesn’t she want to see him? What has he done?

“Why did you come? Did someone see you? Do they know you are here?” She asked again, still keeping her distance.

“Because I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything I have been through the last couple of days. And no, nobody knows I am here, except for a few people, and nobody has seen me. Why does it matter?” He started to get anxious.

“But couldn’t you send someone else, Naruto or even Shikamaru, that would have been better given the situation.” She pleaded with him. Her distress was painfully obvious to him. Shouldn’t he have come? What did he do to her?

“What situation? Sakura, I don’t understand. All I know is, that you left the village in the middle of the night without telling anyone, and that we assumed the worst. I thought you were dead. Naruto couldn’t sense you and nobody knew you left, and your scent was gone and replaced with that of rotting flesh. I thought I had lost you. Do you know what I have been through in the last couple of days? All because of a situation I don’t know about?” Now, he was clearly in distress. His voice was anxious, and his gaze was sad. It was obvious, even for someone who didn’t know him as well as she did, that he was shaken.

“I didn’t know.” She said quietly and looked at her feet. The guilt hit her hard. She couldn’t know, that he didn’t find her letter on the day she left. “I am sorry, I caused you so much grief. I didn’t mean to. Do you really not know, what is going on in the village?”

“No, I don’t.” He said clueless.

“The village gossips.” She said in slight distress.

“The village always gossips.”

“The village gossips about us.” The distress in her voice gets more obvious.

“And?” He asked, his tone was normal as far as Sakura could tell.

“You got my medication, my pregnancy medication, didn’t you?” She said while looking at him with big eyes. Surely he will understand, the situation in the village, now.

“Yes, I did. You were tired and I helped you out.” He was still oblivious to this whole thing.

“OK, but you brought books, didn’t you?”

“Yes, nothing unusual. I buy books nearly daily.”

“Yes, but usually you buy your porn books.”

“It’s advanced adult romance, Sakura, not porn.”

“Call it what you like, we all have read it. It is porn. But that is not the point. You bought books regarding my pregnancy, didn’t you?” She asked again, sure she would die when he still didn’t get an idea.

“Yes, I did, and? I promised to be there for you and I wanted to know everything, that I needed to know.” He was still oblivious.

“And what are the names of these books?” She couldn’t believe he made it this far in life with that non-existent social skills.

“I don’t remember. There were about pregnancy and how to raise a child, as I said, I promised to help you.” He said, still clueless.

“Oh my god. How are you even alive?” She cried out in disbelief.

“Barely, but that’s not the point.” He said jokingly. How bad could ‘it’ actually be?

“How do I even say that?” She asked in utter disbelief.

“Preferably with words, Sakura.” He said with a smug smile on his face.

“Oh, shut up…” She cried out, “Well…  to put it bluntly so even you will understand it. The people in the village think I cheated on Sasuke with you and the baby is yours. That’s why you assigned us to the mission that killed him, to get him out of the way.” She continued with tears in her eyes, and the smug smile on his face vanished.

“Nobody would believe that.”

“They do. Ino came to me the morning I left and was furious because I didn’t tell her. I didn’t know what she meant, and she told me everything. She said, that you verified that and someone overheard you. I told her that it was all lies, and she believed me, but she advised me to keep my distance, at least for some time. Then Tsunade's letter came in, and I thought it was the best solution to our problem. I thought you knew about the rumour, but didn’t tell me, to not upset me. I am sorry, that I didn’t talk to you, but I thought it's best. These kinds of rumours could lead to your abdication and I know even though you cannot wait to leave this office, you stay firm until Naruto is ready.”

“So I made this whole situation worse if my trip gets leaked.” This realization doomed him. It made sense, all of it made sense. The talk with Genma and even Shizune. He didn’t verify it verbatim, but he could have done the same, considering his behaviour.

“Yes, that’s why I reacted the way I did. I am sorry. I am happy to see you. I missed you, but you need to leave. I don’t want this to happen to you. Your reputation would be gone and you would lose your position. You could become an outcast, the Hokage that killed one of his peers, his student. I know how much you struggled in the past. This cannot happen again, not to you.” She pleaded again. Tears were forming in her eyes and she hugged him tightly. This was hard for her. She was so happy to see him as she turned around, and he was standing there with his stupid mask on and a smile on his face, just for one moment at least. Then reality hit her again, and she knew he had to leave. He tightened his grip around her and held her close. She wasn’t mad at him, and she still cared about him, and that was all that mattered to him now. He inhaled her scent and hoped this moment would never vanish, but she ended the hug. It was too soon for both of them.

“So who knows you are here? And when can you leave?”

“Naruto, Shizune, Hinata, and Shikamaru know that I am here. I insisted on going. Well… and Tsunade, she exposed me. I guess I should have acted more like Naruto.”

“Why Naruto?”

“Oh yes, you don’t know. I am officially still in my office in Konoha. I henged into Naruto, and Naruto henged into me. It was to trick, you know, everyone that Naruto went on this mission together with you. We needed a backstory and a bodyguard for you to satisfy the council. You just left, and they could have argued that you went rogue and with that sent Anbu to hunt you. They would have not killed you, not until you had given birth. We did all we could to protect you. I will give this scroll to Tsunade, she will know what to do. Officially, they required your expertise on venoms and antidotes. Tsunade will probably give you some work regarding this, so you can give status updates to the council.” He explained while taking out a scroll with a seal.

“All of you did this to protect me and my baby?” She asked, tears were forming again in her eyes, and she caressed her belly.

“I would fight Kaguya again if that means you are safe. I will do whatever it takes to protect you.” He said, his voice clear and his gaze honest. Sakura stopped breathing for a moment. At this moment she knew him inside and out, and she was sure he would always find a way to keep her safe, and that thought filled her heart. She smiled softly at him while looking up slowly until she met his gaze. A light blush was running over her cheeks, and Kakashi was sure she had never been more beautiful than at this exact moment. His heart raced steady in his chest, and he was sure she could hear it. Even though this moment felt like forever, it ended too soon.

“So if you keep your disguise, you can stay?” She asked hopefully.

“I will stay as long as it’s possible.”

“That is fantastic. I would love to show you around and meet my pupils and my assistant.”

“Assistant? You are here for a couple of days, and you already have an assistant and pupils?”, he asked.

“Is it so surprising to you, that people want to work with me and learn from me?” She asked back, she wasn’t exactly angry, but she wasn’t calm either.

“No, I know everyone wants to work with you. I do the interviews for the exchange student program every semester, and they try to bribe me so they can work with you, that is not surprising at all, but I thought Tsunade would have given you a few days’ rest given your circumstances.”

“I am pregnant, not ill, and it is not hard work. She is very strict about my breaks, too. I am not allowed to even get tired.”

“Then I will be delighted to meet your pupils and your assistant. I hope she is nice to you.”

“Oh, he most certainly is. He is an angel, through and through. He gets me caffeine-free coffee every morning and makes sure there is always hot water for tea, makes sure I eat enough and shows me the best local restaurants.”

“He sounds precious,” Kakashi answered with a slight tone change. He doesn’t like that at all. How can Tsunade be okay with a stranger coming so close to Sakura in her everyday life? He needed to have a serious talk with her. He coughed and put a smile on his lips. That is nothing to worry Sakura with.

“Oh, he is. I would be lost without him.”, she told him with a big grin on her face.

“Would you?”, he asked. His tone is still a bit off, but Sakura didn’t notice. She didn’t want to notice. Kakashi was here, he really went all this way to Amegakure just to make sure she was alright and safe. This was something she treasured deep in her heart. At this moment, someone knocked on the door. Kakashi henged back to his disguise automatically. A man comes through the door. He is very tall and handsome. He has thick dark long hair which is put together in a man bun, very clear skin. Not only that, but he has dark eyes and is dressed formally. He kind of looks like Sasuke, at least a bit, but still something is off to actually say they look alike.

“Lady Haruno, I have heard of our special guest.”, said a male voice, which was very melodic.

“Ah, Tohaya, may I introduce you to… Uzumaki Naruto.”, Sakura said, after looking over to the disguised Kakashi.

“Uzumaki-San, it is an honour to meet you”, said Tohaya while bowing deep to show his gratitude towards ‘Naruto’.

“Oh, thank you”, answered Kakashi awkwardly, and Sakura started to giggle softly.

“Naruto, this is my assistant, Jahodama Tohaya.” Sakuras Voice was soft and calm.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. May I ask what exactly your job is?” ‘Naruto’ asked with a slight undertone of disapproval.

“Oh, of course, Lady Haruno would usually have only female assistant’s given her maidenhood and reputation, but Lady Senju was so nice to allow me to study under her and learn from her. I am the most promising medical ninja in this town, so she made an exception. And I am very honoured. I learn from her. She is teaching me to use my chakra properly and everything she knows about medicine. I just made my first solo operation, thanks to lady Haruno and her knowledge and hard work. But I'm not just here to get to know you Uzumaki-San. I'm also here to inform Lady Haruno that Lady Senju is waiting for her next door. It's time for her daily check-up.” he said. His voice was really melodic and that annoyed Kakashi.

“Is it that late already, heavens, where is the time? I will just put these files away.”, said Sakura and pointed to the files next to her on the desk.

“I will wait.”, he answered. Kakashi is even more annoyed, he had hoped for more moments alone with Sakura. Sakura did as she said and then went to Tsunade. Kakashi was a bit curious what this check-up entailed, so he went with her. Apparently, the check-up was a 45-minute-long break for Sakura in which she is supposed to rest or, how she calls it, ‘the time when she isn’t allowed to do anything at all’. She hated it, but she knew that Tsunade did all the medically necessary tests to ensure Sakura and her child were healthy. But this wasn’t the only reason he went with her, of course he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, but most frankly he didn’t like that Tohaya guy. And what was he saying about Sakuras maidenhood and reputation, didn’t he know that she was widowed and pregnant? Just a weird guy. He also hopes he gets some time alone with Sakura so they can talk about everything, and especially about Sakura's plans for the future. This internship was timed and ended right around her due date, if he calculated correctly. The council wouldn’t like for Sakura to be away and give birth to the last living Uchiha even when Tsunade was with her. They would try everything in their power to get her to Konoha before her baby is due. Not that Kakashi was particularly against the plan of getting Sakura back earlier than anticipated, but he didn’t want to allow the council that much power over him. In the end, he knew he had to put his own selfish reasoning’s behind and do what was best for Sakura. BUT Tohaya was everywhere. Literally everywhere. Sakura got back to work after her break and Kakashi was not far behind her, and not far behind them was Tohaya. So when the evening came and Kakashi knew that this weirdo had to go home at some point, he was at ease because that meant he could drop the henge and talk to Sakura. BUT Tohaya insisted on bringing ‘Naruto’ to his hotel and when he learned that ‘Naruto’ was put into the guest quarters his attitude chanced slightly, not enough to be really noticeable, but Kakashi was on edge because of him the whole day, and so he noticed. Thank the First, Tsunade arranged for Kakashi to have a room next door to Sakura, much to Tohaya dismay. He insisted on sleeping before Sakuras room to ensure ‘her reputation and maidenhood stay untouched’. Kakashi was one minor incident away from killing Tohaya with his chidori, just one. How can a person be so annoying? Kakashi couldn’t fathom this. He trained Naruto and Sasuke, fought in two world wars and was best friends/rivals with Gai for most of his life, but this guy was really giving him the rest. Now he was alone in his room. Probably 5 meters away from Sakura, and he still couldn’t talk to her, because this idiotic fool wouldn’t budge and waits on the floor, the fucking floor, in front of Sakuras door for any noises. He really needed to talk to Tsunade about this guy. Then he heard a quiet knock on his balcony door. He looked over and saw slight pink on the other side. He opened the door and there she was coming into his room. She signed him to be quiet and then formed some hand signs.

“Now we can talk without him interfering.”

“Thank the first. How can a single person be so annoying?”

“I don’t know what you mean. He is just being nice and trying to protect me.”

“But from whom? I am not a monster. I am your best friend and to him also your ex-teammate and saviour of this world.” Kakashis tone was harsh and his body tense.

“Wow, you really are annoyed.” She answered laughing.

“Annoyed is not the right term for this. I am livid. I was seconds away from punching him through his chest with my chidori.”

“Now you’re overdramatic.”

“I am not. The only reason he is alive is that thanks to my outer worldly patience and self-control.” He said confidently about himself.

“Is this outer worldly patience and self-control in the room with us right now, because all I can see is an overdramatic nervous wreck put into the body of my best friend and Hokage.” She said with a big grin on her face.

“Oh fuck you.” He laughed and shook his head, then he signalled her to have a seat on his bed. She didn’t need a second invitation and made herself comfortable on his bed.

He laid down next to her and looked at his celling. “So tell me, Sakura-chan, what are your plans.”

Chapter Text

“Do you mean for tonight? This week? The next couple of months? The next 12 months? The next five years?” She said with a big grin on her face.

“All of it.” He said, still looking at his ceiling, not sure what to make out of her words.

“So for the five next year” she took a deep breath. Then she turned her herself to face him, while lying on the bed. One arm, as a headrest, bent under her head, the other placed protectively in front of her and both legs also slightly bent, similar to the fetal position. She was looking directly at him and his so familiar features. His eyebrow divided by the scar, his nose that was still perfectly straight despite all his years as an active ninja, his body hidden by his clothing and his slightly scarred hands. She only now realized that she often pays such close attention to him. Maybe it's because of their strong and close connection and the fact that she was his doctor. She had to keep an eye on him so closely, otherwise something might happen to him, or she wouldn't notice that something was wrong with him. Given his aversion to hospitals, that wasn’t entirely unlikely. A small part of her knew that wasn't all, but that part had been locked away neatly and hidden deep inside her since the day Sasuke came back into her life and planned to stay for good. So she tried to concentrate on the question, “let me think. I guess I would like to be at Konoha again, having my child in my arms, my loved ones around me and a new love by my side. I don’t want to be a sad widow all my life. I will always love Sasuke, but I cannot choose him and live in the past forever. My trip to Amegakure showed me this. In the next 12 months, I would like to laugh more again and become more of the person I was. Doing a few missions here and there and holding my baby in my arms. And have sex again, good sex. In the next couple of months, I would like to finish my job here and train some good medics. Bringing this life into this world and of course returning to Konoha, not necessarily in this order. This week? I want to show you the city and the things I am doing here. I truly believe I am making a difference here and that is really lifting my spirit.” She said, still looking at him. She had a plan for the future, and she couldn’t wait for it to happen.

“And for tonight?” He asked, while mirroring her position and looking her straight into her eyes.  He immediately noticed the blush on her cheeks, that were so complementing to her hair. And he also dared to have a closer look, capturing the green of her eyes, which reminded him of the trees in front of his childhood home on a sunny day and how her pink strands fell over her face. Her petite figure that hides a strong and fearsome woman and her beautiful, gentle hands that had not only saved his life countless times. She leaned over to him and looked deep into his eyes, then said: “I just want to be here with you, existing in your presence and enjoying your company. I don’t want to worry about the future and all that weighs with it. I just want to enjoy this right here.” Then she leaned back again and lay down in the same position as just now.

“Just enjoying life with you? Sounds marvellous.” He answered. Then they both started to chuckle a little bit. She was right, the worries and everything can wait until tomorrow. Tonight, the only thing that mattered to him was her. So he asked her, about her way to Amegakure and how her first days were. She told him gladly every detail she remembered until she was too tired and her eyes just closed. When this happened, Kakashi got up and went to her side of the bed and carefully covered her up. Then he went back and lay down next to her without even thinking about it and listened to her breathing and to that sound he fell asleep.

When Kakashi woke up the next morning, Sakura's back was pressed against his, and she was still sound asleep. It's amazing how well he slept last night. He hasn't been this relaxed in a long time, not even after the night with his secret bed mate. He decided to lie down for a while and enjoy this moment of peace. As soon as Sakura was awake they would have to talk about Tohoya, the council and all the other things that were worrying them. What he didn't consider was that Sakura slept significantly longer than he did. So after half an hour, he got up and started his everyday morning exercises. He did his 150 push-ups, walked on his hands for 15 minutes and stretched his body at the end. Sakura woke up just as Kakashi was doing one of his handstands. She turned slightly to be able to observe better what was happening, and she was not disappointed, Kakashi still cut an incredibly good figure despite his office job, almost too good. Kakashi noticed that Sakura was eyeing him, but it didn't bother him. On the contrary, it even filled him with pride that she was watching him so closely. He liked it when Sakura's sole focus was on him. This reminded him of the time after the war. Sasuke travelled to redeem himself. Naruto was busy with Hinata and studying for his jonin exam. Everyone in the village had something to do, except him. Tsunade was still working as Hokage, and although he had already been appointed, he had not yet felt confident enough to actually take up the position. Gai was in the hospital, and he visited him almost daily, and so it happened that he spent a lot of time with Sakura. She was the only person left. Of course, she was busy, too. She worked full-time at the hospital and at the same time began to take on more and more of the administrative tasks. Shizune was assigned more and more as an assistant to the Hokage and Tsunade made it clear that she wanted to travel again after Kakashi moved into the office. So it all stuck to Sakura, and she founded the mental health centre for the children together with Ino. Regardless, she always made sure that there was a chair for him to sit in where ever she was, so he went there and stayed all day to co-exist. And naturally, the two started talking to each other, at first just small talk, but at some point the conversations became more profound and personal and Kakashi enjoyed being able to confide in someone he actually trusted. This led to daily conversations. These then turned into occasional shared lunches. At some point, the two of them ate lunch together every day. He noticed that she forgets to eat properly when she was stressed, that’s why he wanted to make sure she had a full meal at least once a day. After the two accidentally met in the cemetery in the afternoon, they sometimes went for a walk after Sakura's work and Kakashi gradually showed her his favourite places to read and exist. Sakura showed Kakashi her favourite spots in Konoha and the surrounding area. They enjoyed each other's presence, and so it was only natural that they grew closer and closer. The joint mission led by Sakura didn't hurt this, on the contrary, it only further strengthened the bond between them. It was one of his favourite missions he ever did. 

“Good morning.” Kakashi said. And Sakura started to blush a little.

“Good morning, have you slept well?”

“Like a baby, you?”

“You have no idea.” She stated, and she hoped he never will be. She missed sleeping next to someone, someone she felt a deep connection to. Next to someone she could… no, she stopped that thought before it solidified itself in her brain. That was ridiculous and dangerous, and she wouldn’t allow that piece of her to come out again. She was way too ashamed to admit that this part existed inside of her and that it stayed even when Sasuke was around, it was well-hidden but still there. This was her deepest and darkest secret, and she would take it to her grave. Little did she know, that Kakashi was doing the same thing, when he saw her sitting up on the bed, it was an unconscious decision made by his subconscious.

“Would you like to have breakfast first or talk first?” Kakashi asked. He needed to get things off his chest, but also wanted to give her the chance to choose.

“Talking first. I don’t think we will have much time alone. Tohaya is probably already awake…”

“And wanders around your door wondering when is the best time to barge in and disturb us. Speaking of which, what is his deal? What does he mean with maidenhood and reputation? Why is he calling you Lady Haruno and not Uchiha?” Interrupted the grey haired men the kunoichi.

“He knows, but this country is kinda weird. Tohaya filled me in. A widowed woman without children automatically gets her maiden name back and her maiden status. That probably makes it easier for her to get married again quickly. Due to the war-filled history, there is a shortage of children in the village and this should counteract this. If a widow has a child within 9 months of her husband's death, she is named a widow and her and her child receive her late husband's last name. That's why Tohaya is so keen to protect my honour, if one could claim that the child was not from Sasuke but from another man, I would have no rights to his inheritance. I know it's total nonsense, but I don't plan on staying here forever, just for the next 6 months, so I play along.”

“OK, but the guard called you Mrs. Uchiha.”

“Not everyone lives by that tradition, as far as I know,” she said in a quiet voice.

“That makes sense, but nonetheless I don’t like the guy. My gut tells me he has ulterior motives.” Sakura let out a sigh and fell back onto the bed. This man will drive her crazy at some point. How can a single person carry so much mistrust within themselves?

“What will you do about the council?” He asked.

“Protect my child from them.”

“I guess that’s the best you can do. I will help you with it, I promise. And when do you think you'll be back in Konoha? Before or after birth?”

“Before, I want to give birth at home. I’ll probably be back in 6 months, then I will have a couple of weeks.”

“Six whole months?” How was he supposed to live without her for six months? He knew this was a possibility, but he had hoped she would come back with him.

“Yes, my work here is important not only for the people in Amegakure but also for me. My mental health is a lot better here. I realized so many things since I got here. I really need this break from Konoha and all my memories there. Here I'm not a sad widow, I'm Doctor Haruno and that feels amazing. I am someone else, I am a new me.” She took a deep breath.

“I like the old Sakura.” He said truthfully.

“Who knows, maybe you will like this new Sakura even more.” She said, hoping she was right.

“I will. There will never be a version of you, that I will not like. I will…” A knock on the door interrupted him. His tone was honest, and he meant what he said. Even though he was sure she was just becoming her old self again.

“Uzumaki-San? It is me, Tohaya, would you let me in?” Sakura released the seal and signalled Kakashi, that she will go back into her room. The gray hair disappeared with a cloud of smoke, and ‘Naruto’ opened the door to Tohaya.

“Ah Tohaya, please call me Naruto,” said Kakashi after he opened the door and signalled Tohaya to come in.

“Lady Haruno didn’t answer to my knocks. So I thought maybe she was here. I know the morals in Konoha are different and more modern, but I really have to urge you to not spend time with her alone. She will be an outcast in this village, if the people knew,” he pleaded.

“Why would the people care? She isn’t a citizen of Amegakure, and she is a guest here. And without her the village would lose a lot. You need her right now.” Kakashi answered, already on edge because of him. There was definitely something off with him.

Tohaya sighed and then looked Kakashi directly into his eyes. “Just stay away from her!” He said slowly and firmly. Then another knock on the door interrupted them. Sakura came in with a big smile on her face wishing a good morning. Tohaya turned to her and said with the softest voice: “Ah, Lady Haruno it is so nice to see you. I was worried, you didn’t open your door.”

“Oh, I am sorry. I was probably asleep. Yesterday was exciting, but also tiring.”

“Oh no, are you worn out? Should I call Lady Senju and tell her you cannot come today?”

“That isn’t necessary. I am well, but we should get started? Or is there something you two want to talk about first?” She asked, looking at both of them. The wave of anger which was radiating from Kakashi was hurtfully obvious to her. There was something wrong with him, or something had happened between them.

“Oh no, I just wondered if you were here.” Tohaya answered and then made his way through the door. Sakura looked at Kakashi and when their gaze met she smiled at him, but he didn’t return the smile. He just walked past her. He needed to talk to Tsunade immediately. This dude was dangerous, and he needed to protect Sakura from him. His gut feeling was never wrong, never. Sakura sighed and then followed the men. Drama queens went through her head. The day itself was uneventful. Sakura did her work and Kakashi stayed close to her the entire time, except for his conversation with Tsunade. He insisted that he speak to her alone. Sakura assumed that he wanted to dispel his jutsu for a brief moment to save energy and recover a bit. And wherever the two of them were, there was Tohaya too. He didn't leave Sakura's side. Not that she would mind in particular, but Kakashis growing anger was unusual.

Kakashi realized he wouldn’t have a chance to talk to Sakura in private, not before they went to bed at least. So he went to Tsunade to talk to her about Tohaya. He knocked on her door and waited to be let in. As soon as he entered the room, he dropped his disguise. He knew they were alone.

“Kakashi, what can I do for you?” Tsunade asked, she had a rough idea of what he wanted.

“I need to give you this” He said while he took out the scroll, which approved Sakura’s stay and the inquiry in the first place. He gave it to Tsunade.

“And I guess that’s not all.”

“You are right. You need to assign Tohaya to someone else. He is dangerous.” His voice was stern, and the anger was still radiating from him.

“He isn’t dangerous.” Tsunade answered indifferent.

“How do you know?”

“I checked him and his background, Kakashi. He is no threat whatsoever.”

“He threatened me. He told me to stay away from her.”

“Did he?” She asked sarcastically.

“Tsunade this is serious. He has ulterior motives. My gut tells me, that there is something off with him. I don’t trust him. Her safety is my biggest priority.”

“Do you really think, that I don’t have her best interest in mind? That I would endanger her? Especially while he is pregnant? Do you really think that? I made sure he was no threat. And you know what?” Her voice got louder, and she got angrier, “Maybe he is right, maybe you should stay away from her. I mean, you left the village, your responsibility to go after her.”

“You don’t understand that, she is…” Kakashi argued. His tone mirrored hers. He was angry.

“What? Family?” she interrupted him, “You really think I don’t understand? I love this girl like my own, but you need to be better than this, and you need to get out of your own righteousness. You cannot be so selfish, not as the Hokage. Furthermore, I wouldn’t have left the village defenceless and without its leader because she decided to go.”

“But you aren’t the Hokage, I am, and I command you to assign Tohaya to someone else. And I will not tolerate disobedience. I am your leader. Understood?” His voice was strong, and his tone was cold and serious. His gaze darkened and he maintained eye contact. Her lips moved and formed a smile that turned into a big grin.

“I didn’t think you had it in you. Good job kid.”

“What?” Kakashi was flabbergasted. What has just happened?

“I never thought you would stand up against me. I have to say I am proud of you. Good job.” Kakashi still didn't know how to react. “But I have heard your concerns, and I’ll think about it.” She said after more moments of silence on Kakashi’s part.

“You won’t reassign him, am I right?” Kakashi asked, his mind still racing. He was ashamed of himself, he behaved poorly towards Tsunade. He knew that she loved Sakura and that she would never do something to hurt her.

“Probably not. He is the most promising medic in this village, or this country even, he is the one that will train the next generation of medics in die country. Even if wanted to, I couldn’t. He is the future of the medical field in Amegakure. But I can assign him to extra duties, so he will spend less time with Sakura outside of work. It that OK?”

“I don’t like it, but it is better than nothing, I guess.” He wasn’t pleased. His gut told him something was off regarding Tohaya, but here Tsunade was in charge. He couldn’t force her to obey. “Thank you, Tsunade-Sama.” He bowed low and then went back to Sakura. This was one of the strangest conversations he ever had.

“Bye, Kakashi.” She shook her head. That this day would ever come, she thought while smiling to herself. She was sure that he had no idea what was lurking inside him.

Chapter Text

It is late when he enters the room intended for him. *Puff* and a cloud of smoke surrounded his now visible grey hair. He opens his balcony door and then goes into the bathroom. The clothes he was previously wearing on his body fall to the floor one after the other. His lungs slowly filled with air as he inhaled deeply. The hot water that ran down his body was just as necessary as the peace and quiet to think. The interaction with Tsunade was on his mind. How could he be so rude, and to Tsunade too. What had got into him? But on the other hand, it was about Sakura, and he just couldn't and didn't want to understand how Tsunade could be so careless. She put Sakura in danger. She is pretty defenceless right now and if something were to happen to her child, he didn't even want to imagine it. Only one thing was certain, he would follow her wherever she went.

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It was a really strange day. Since his conversation with Tohaya this morning, Kakashi had been tense and annoyed, and his conversation with Tsunade didn't put his mind on ease, on the contrary, his tension only became more obvious to her afterwards. No matter what she tried, he didn't want to talk to her about it.

She was all the more surprised when his balcony door was open for her. The shower was still running when she let herself in and dropped her bag. She needed to talk to him, but first she needed a shower herself, so she sat down on his bed and waited for Kakashi to clear the bathroom. This bed already smelled like him, his scent was so subtle that you needed to be very close to it, to actually smell it. She's never met anyone who smelled so good. A small smile crossed her pink lips. The night sky was just beautiful, and she couldn’t think of anything close to it.

“Are you done?” She asked, as soon as Kakashi stepped out of the door.

“Sorry for making you wait, I needed that shower.” He said, he could smell her before he could sense her. That was really impressive, but she was always the best at her chakra control. Sakura turned around, and a hot flush went through her head. He wasn’t wearing his mask. In fact, he was only wearing a towel, his hair was still wet and not as fluffy as usual. She hated it, when he practically wore nothing.

“No, problem, as long as I can take a hot shower myself.”

“Do as you like.” He said, pointing to the bathroom door. She jumped up, took her bag and went into the bathroom. The sound of water came from the bathroom, and Kakashi put on some shorts and a tank top. He didn’t bother to put on a mask. Sakura had already seen his face and he trusted her completely, so he didn’t find it necessary. The soft material of the bed was touching his face, as he laid down to wait for Sakura. She will probably want to talk to him. He was very dismissive to her today, and he could slap himself for it. He only had so little time with her anyway, and he wasted it with his unnecessary stubbornness. Why was he like that? Why was he getting in his own way again?

She sensed his seething, it was obvious. His body was tensed, and he looked up at the ceiling. His fists were clenched. She hated to see him in this state.

“Are you OK?” She asked as she leaned onto the door frame of the bathroom door. He turned himself to face her. One of his arms under his pillow and the rest of his body in a fetal position. Her silhouette was well visible for him thanks to the bathroom light. A pink halo around her head and an oversized Shirt covering her upper body till the middle of her thighs. She really was a beautiful woman. She always had been beautiful and cute, but he never imagined she would grow into such a strong and gorgeous woman. And for a faint second he wondered what it would be like, if she would come to bed in a different scenario.

“I am, it’s just…” A sharp breath left his body. “We don't have much time, and you wanted to show me so much, and I wasted a day because I was thrown off by Tohaya.”

“We still have so much time and besides, it's not like we'll never see each other again. I'll be back in Konoha in 6 short months. We can write letters to each other and the time will fly by. And…” Teased the pink haired Konoichi.

“And?” Kakashi asked, while Sakura made her way to the bed and laid down next to him.

“Tomorrow is my day off. So we can walk around, and I can show you all the places I wanted to.”

“So I have you to myself all day tomorrow?” He asked, his voice a pitch deeper than usual. A faint blush rushing over her face and a slight shiver running over her body.

“Seems like it.” She answered, turning to face him, too, mirroring his position. Then she stretched out one of her hands and took his. She squeezed his hand lightly and he lost all the tension he had left. She was here with him in safety. He inhaled deeply. Her natural scent fills his nose. It was so much more vibrant when he didn’t wear his mask. He smiled softly.

“What’s up?” She asked curiously, tilting her head slightly.

“This reminded me of the mission we had after the war. Your first jonin mission.”

“Oh…” the blush on her face intensified. “Yes, I remember that mission.” She said shyly.

“We spent a lot of time in bed.” His voice was deep and clear, a small blush was visible on his face and he wished he had his masked on. Vulnerability was not his strongest object. 

“We did.” She jawed with her soft voice only hearable for him. She shyly met his gaze.  Without breaking eye contact, he slowly reached out his hand to wipe one of her pink strands from her face.

“You should rest. It was a tiring day,” he looked her deep in the eyes and continued with a whisper, “Good night, Sakura.”

“But…” she wanted to interfere. She didn’t want this moment to end. Was this possible? That she hadn't made it all up. For a brief moment at least, she thought she hadn't just imagined it.

“Nothing, Sakura. You should rest. I will be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll promise.” She slowly pulled the hand she was still holding tightly in her own towards her, gave it a soft kiss, and then snuggled into the palm of his hand. If he could, he would stay here forever.

The next morning started like the one before. She slept even longer and he did his morning routine. After that, he took a short cold shower and did his skin care. He would never admit that he took over Sakura's skin care routine after the joint Jonin mission, but he has to say, his skin never looked better. Speaking of which, what actually drove him to mention this part of the mission yesterday? He had promised himself that he would not mention this. It was too embarrassing for him, but his gut told him, he wasn’t the only one. Kakashi made sure Sakura was still fast asleep when he henged back to get breakfast. He made sure he got everything she liked and then headed back to his room. The smell of food filled the hole room. After everything was arranged, he went over to Sakura. He gently stroked her arm as he waited for her to wake up. It was crazy, he thought, how strong the food smelled. Even when he's sitting right next to her, he can barely detect Sakura's scent.

“Mhm… five more minutes.” She whimpered, moving slightly, her eyes still closed.

“You already slept past 9 and we have a lot to do today.” His tone deep and soft. He felt the shiver forming on her arm. Her eyes widened in shook, as her upper body jumped up. She looked like she had been caught.

“Kakashi.” She whispered in shook, a blush forming on her face like he had never seen before.

“Is everything alright?” He asked worried.

“No… I mean, yes, everything is alright.” She shook her head, trying not to meet his worried gaze.

“Okay…” He said, not sure what had happened. He took a deep breath and then it hit him. Now a shiver was running down his spine as well. He knew that smell all too well, she was aroused… That smell caught him off guard and he started to panic. Kakashi shook his head slightly. He needed to stay focused. He needed to concentrate. It was nothing to be embarrassed about, it is a completely normal body function. All was well. He just needed to calm down. WAIT… why exactly is he freaking out? It is nothing he hadn’t smelled before. They are adults and this is by far less embarrassing, than these minutes in that closet, after which they swore to each other never to speak about it.

“I brought you breakfast.” He said quietly, while taking a seat on the other side of the room. She stood up quickly and rushed to the bathroom. He just waited for her.

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Her face glowed heavily as she rushed to the bathroom. This was embarrassing. Having a dream about a person was one thing, said person waking you is the other thing. But having a full-blown sex dream about Kakashi and then him waking her up as soon things got heated was a whole other thing. Did he know? Of course, he knew, as if his reaction wasn't evidence enough, his god-damn nose could probably smell her from across the room. How did this even happen? This rarely happened before, so why now?  What happened last night, that could have triggered this? Her mind raced, trying to find the moment her dream was implanted in her head. ‘We spent a lot of time in bed’ ‘your first jonin mission’ this bastard she thought. He mentioned this mission and she automatically thought about those minutes in that god-damn closet.

She took some deep breaths to calm down her nerves, then she cleaned herself. Now she went out and, as she thought, he was sitting next to the breakfast, reading his porn. This would have been the most inappropriate thing ever if this had been any other person than Kakashi, but for him, this was perfectly normal behaviour.

“Is everything OK?” He asked, still a bit worried.

“No, yes, I mean everything is just fine.” She stuttered trying to form an incoherent sentence.

“OK?” His eyes were small, and his head was tilted to the right. He doubted her.

“This looks good.” She pointed at the food to change the topic of this conversation. This was still so embarrassing.

“That’s why I took it.” He said dryly. “I hope you can eat everything I took. I have to admit, I haven’t read the part of what food to avoid during pregnancy, yet.”

“As long as it is not raw or with alcohol, it should be fine.” Her hand was caressing her belly. This poor child, she thought. Being born without a father and with a mother who was either heartless or a lunatic, that was the only plausible possibility for what just happened. She surely was losing her mind. Just five days ago she was so grief-stricken, that she could barely eat or move or even exist and now she was so caught up in her new life, there were moments in which she didn’t even think of Sasuke. She had fun with this new work and there were moments where it felt so good, when nobody knew Sasuke and that he was dead, like she could be just Sakura, her own person, and not the poor widow of Uchiha Sasuke. Especially this time with Kakashi made her happy. She didn’t forget about Sasuke, but she wasn’t thinking about him the whole time, and in felt good. He died just 3 weeks ago and now she even had a sex dream about another man, even though her husband hadn’t been dead for a month. Guilt filled her mind and her heart. Tears were forming in her eyes. She just knew she was the most horrendous person on this planet. How could she just go on with her life, when his ended so abruptly.

Kakashi stood up and embraced her in a hug as soon as she got quiet with that sad look on her face. He caressed her head and her back. It hurt him to see her like this, but he knew that she had no control over this. Sadly, that was how grief operates. It hit you when you are unprepared, and it spared nobody.  All he knew was that these moments will get less and less. He knew that he had to be there for her like she had been ever since pain attacked. They still had this whole day. Suddenly he got an imaginary punch in his gut and he knew, it will be their last day together for a long time. Therefore, it had to be perfect. She pressed herself into him. This was the comfort she needed, even though she didn’t want to admit it. This and her new purpose, her new job, her new friends and her new life. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a bad thing, that she couldn’t stay in bed all day and cry. She did something here, something important and she knew that was what Sasuke would have wanted from her. He would have wanted her to move on and live her life. She surely would’ve wanted the same if the roles were reversed. She just needed to remember that in the future. There is no shame in looking in another direction, her heart was true to him and she knew he would always have a place in her heart and be loved for as long as she lived.

“What is your plan for today?” He asked, when he thought it would be the right moment.

“I thought I could show you my favourite place.” She said softly, her body still pressed against his.

“Your favourite place is probably the hospital, and I have already seen that.” He looked down at her, while his eyes rolled upwards.

“No, it is not. My favourite place is a half hour on the outside of the city. We could pack some things and go there.” She looked up, meeting his gaze

“Pack some things? Should I be scared?” He lifted one eyebrow, still holding her gaze.

“No, you idiot, but I would like to surprise you. You could go and get something to read while I pack all that we would need.”

“OK, I guess, but you know that I hate surprises?”

“I know, but I don’t care.” She said, loosening her grip on him.

“Of course you don’t care.” He said quietly. She wouldn’t hear him anyway, she was too caught up in herself.

“This will be exciting.” She said loudly to herself, planning everything in her head.

“I am not so sure about that.” He said loudly as well, but felt onto deaf ears. So he turned himself into Naruto again and left. The bookshop was nice, there were a lot of books, that he had never heard of and some sounded very promising. Icha Icha were his go-to books, but after so many years he needed something new, at least sometimes. So bought some books for himself and got something to read for later. He made sure, that there was something for Sakura as well. As he went back, Tsunade approached him with a scroll in her hand. How he hated it, when his gut was right. She didn’t even have to say anything. He knew straight away. He needed to go home today. He was staying for 2 nights. He opened the scroll and it confirmed what he had already thought. Today was his last day with Sakura for a long time.

Not only that, but they were going out of town, which was nothing he was looking forward to. This part of the world was still dangerous, very dangerous. A lot of mercenary troops were staying in this area. Even though they were different and had different goals, all of them would have loved to kill the 6th Hokage and Uchiha Sakura. And now without the Sharingan, it was far more difficult for him to fight many opponents at once. He barely got the chance to use his new jutsu in a real fight. The last one he had was a year and a half ago on that mission with Sakura. He stayed fit, of course and he usually trained with Sakura, Gai or Genma, but this would be different and Sakura wouldn’t be much help. She cannot fight with this high risk pregnancy, and the thought of her losing her child to save his life was unbearable.

“You are overthinking again, aren’t you?” She stated with a worried but also slightly reproachful expression.

“I am just thinking about any possibility that could happen. You know, I like to be prepared.” He corrected her. Her left eyebrow got up and she gave him her ‘yea whatever dude’ look. The scroll was neatly tucked away in one of his pockets. She didn’t have to know now. There was no necessity for that. They could enjoy their day and then they would say goodbye. She would go to bed and he would go home.

“Kakashi?” She asked, her head tilted slightly to the right as she turned around to look at him.

“Hm… what?” He blinked fast for a short time. He didn’t know what she had said prior to his name.

“You were zoning out on me. I have asked you if you were successful?”

“Oh right… Yea, I have all we could need.”

“Perfect, then let’s go.” He lifted the back she had packed and walked behind her. Leaving the inside of the more or less secure city walls was exciting, but scary. He couldn’t stop thinking about the possible consequences of this short trip.

It put his mind at ease, at least for a bit, that the half hour was measured in civilian hours, which he would need not more than ten minutes to grab her and take her back to safety.

“Just around the corner.” She said excited. She knew the place for two years now, but wasn’t able to visit since she had arrived here. “I promise it is worth it.” Sakura was so excited to be able to go to this magical place again. The last time she was here was so magical and she always imagined she would come back with the love of her life on her side, like the old lady told her two years ago. But she decided she wasn’t going to be sad, because Sasuke was in her heart and having Kakashi on her side made her happy, and happiness was something so precious these days. She looked over to Kakashi to see his expression when he was looking at this for the first time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I promise it is worth it.” Sakura said happily to him. He wasn’t so sure about that, because giving up the safety of the village was barely worth it. BUT, OH BOY, HE WAS WRONG! This was the most magical and beautiful place he had ever seen in his entire life. It was like walking into another dimension. It was a huge, half collapsed and completely overgrown cave with a big natural pool full of clear water at the bottom of a gorgeous waterfall. Around the water area and the small river that was going outside this cave, were grass and wildflowers. The sunlight was reflected in the water and everything was calm and peaceful and bright. He didn’t know where to look first. Everything was gorgeous, and this whole place felt outer worldly. He looked over at Sakura, and seeing her this happy in this beautiful environment was something he wanted to remember for the rest of his life.

“Come!” Sakura said happy, taking his hand and leading him close to the waterfall. He couldn’t stop wondering how she found this place. This was truly a place where only happiness and peace could exist.

“Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?”

“It is.” He said peacefully. Blissfully unaware that he was looking at her instead of the scenery. He henged back into himself, after he made sure, they were alone.

He couldn’t imagine a better place to spend his day, with Sakura. She brought a blanket and they had a nice picnic. Sakura told him the story of how she found this place and fell in love with it. They went and looked around in the cave and Sakura even held her feet into the water. At some point he called his ninken. They needed to see this place and he felt better to know they had a nose out there as well. While the ninken wandered around, Sakura and Kakashi made themselves comfortable. He was sitting and reading one of the books he bought earlier out loud to her, while Sakura laid down, with her head rested on his thigh, her eyes closed, only listening to him and the story. They both felt the same peace and quiet. At this magical place, they were happy and at peace like they both had never been before. But as usual, their peace was disturbed far too soon. Pakkun went to Kakashi and Sakura and informed them that someone unknown was approaching. Kakashi transformed back into his disguise and he and Sakura stood up. The ninken were also in operational position. Whoever was coming, they were ready. Much to Kakashi's regret, but also relief, it was only Tohaya who came running there. “Lady Haruno,” he said, completely out of breath, “I'm glad I finally found you. Lady Tsunade requests your immediate return. There was an accident during the renovation work in the tower. Someone found chakra receivers and used them for experiments. I don't know the details. But you and your expertise are urgently needed.” He bowed and then turned round and left. It must be really serious, Tsunade would never shorten their last day together if it wasn't a matter of life and death.

Sakura looked up at him, not sure how to react.

“Go, you're needed.” he said softly as he pulled her into a long and tender hug, knowing that it would be the last time for half a year. “I'll pack everything up and join you.”

“Thank you. See you later,” she replied, infinitely grateful that Kakashi had always understood her and her profession. She released herself from his embrace and set off.

“Oh, and Sakura,” he added as he reached for her hand before she was out of his reach, “you're so much stronger than you think possible. Please never forget that. And whatever happens, I'm always here for you.” Subconsciously, he brushed a strand of hair from her face and gave her a sincere smile.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” she asks him as she slowly returns his gaze and grabs his hand, which was just lingering on her face.

“No,” he said gently, squeezing her hand once, “and now go and save lives.”

She didn't need to be told twice and ran off in the direction of the city. Kakashi, on the other hand, packed up everything they had brought and released his ninken.

When he arrives in the town, he sees the clouds of smoke coming from the highest tower in the town. That was Pain's tower, no wonder chakra receivers were found there. His path inevitably leads him past the hospital and, as crowded and chaotic as it looks, Sakura will spend half the night there tonight. Or the whole night, if nobody stopped her, for the sake of her and her baby. But he knew that Sakura knew her own limits very well and she would never risk her last connection to Sasuke.

He went straight to Sakura's room and put everything back in its place. Then he went into his room and packed his things, as he didn't have much with him, therefore he didn't have to pack for long. He left the letter telling him to come back to Konoha as soon as possible, clearly visible on the table. He also wrote a few lines of his own.

Satisfied with his message, he closed the door behind him and slowly made his way towards the city border. The city was still rumbling when he left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late, very late, when Sakura entered the building in which she and Kakashi were staying. She was tired like she hadn’t been in a long time, even though she wasn’t allowed to heal anyone. She managed the hospital and gave the nurses and doctors all the information they would need to save the patient in front of them. She knew she made a difference today and without her profound knowledge a lot of patients would have died. She even operated without the use of chakra, which was not completely new to her, but very uncommon. It was such an odd feeling to not use her chakra, but she did very well and saved a few patients herself.  Sakura was so proud of herself and she couldn’t wait to tell that to Kakashi.

Needless to say, she burst into his room with the biggest smile on her face, which dropped immediately as she realized this room was empty and cleaned out. Only two letters were on the table. She inspected them closer and one had Narutos handwriting on it, it was addressed to “himself”, the other one was in Kakashi handwriting and it was addressed to her. She opened the letter addressed to “Naruto” first. It was a command for him to come back to the village. Then she looked at the letter, that was intended for her.

Dear Sakura,

by the time you read this, I'll be on my way back to Konoha. I received a letter this morning asking me to come back to Konoha as soon as possible. I know it's not the way you imagined it, when you came into my room to tell me about your crazy operations, but unfortunately there's no other way. I know, even without being there, that you've been great. I know you're angry that I didn't tell you that I wouldn't be there when you arrived at the hospital, but I didn't want you to feel bad while you were literally saving lives. I hope you can forgive me. If anything should happen, please send Katsuyu immediately. I will be on my way right away.

Goodbye.

  へ へ

  の の

    も      (Henohenomoheji)

    へ

じ

Tears were forming in her eyes as she read his goodbye. It is weird, because she never really expected him to show up here, but now that he is gone, it finally had sunken in, she was alone and by herself. And even though this was terrifying, she was looking forward to it.

Chapter Text

“No!” He said with certainty in his voice and a stern look on his face.

“No? What do you mean, no?” She cried out at her wits end.

“I am not going. End of the conversation!” Same tone, same looks.

“You cannot not go! And you know it!”

“No!”

“Why do you behave like a three-year-old, throwing a temper tantrum? You will go, whether you like it or not. That is your duty.”

“I will not, and you can’t make me.”

“Try me, Hatake. I mean it, try me.” Her look was dark, and a shiver ran down his spine. His gut told him, that this was a fight he was going to lose. And if he knew one thing, his gut was always right.

“Are there really no other options? No one else who could go?” Now he pleaded, knowing his gut was right, and he was about to lose.

“It’s the five Kage summit, and you are one of the five kage. There is nobody else that could go.”

“I know, but…”

“No, no but. End of the conversation.” She interrupted him with her no nonsense voice. He knew he had lost. Why is this damn summit in eight days? Sakura said in her letter that came yesterday together with some important documents, that she will be back in a fortnight. Which is in exactly 13 days. Now, this summit takes place in the land of iron, which means it takes him a week to get there. More or less a week for all the conferences to take place and a week back. This means he would miss Sakura's arrival, and there was nothing he was more excited about. He was seething again. How he hated this hat and the responsibility that it holds. His mood didn’t go unnoticed by Shizune. She has been arguing with him about this since the letter of the summit arrived last week. Then the day before yesterday he was so close to saying yes, she could’ve tasted it, then Sakura’s letter came in, and it was a stern ‘no’ again.

“You know,” she began, “I wanted to be here too, when she gets back. But she knows how important these things are, to hold peace. And I truly believe we are doing her and her child a bigger favour if we help to keep peace instead of greeting her, when she comes back.”

“I know. It is just… I don’t know. I… we waited over 6 months for this to happen, for her to come back and now that this is so close we cannot be here. But I guess I can’t get around it.”

“No, you can’t, me neither. I just hope that Naruto will be as understanding as you are right now.”

“Why Naruto?” He asked.

“He needs to learn how these things take place and how to navigate through such delicate and diplomatic negotiations. I have already talked to Hinata, so she can talk some sense into him, when he says no.”

As Shizune had feared, Naruto wasn't happy about accompanying Kakashi on this long journey either. He refused, like Kakashi did in the beginning. However, once Hinata had spoken to him, he calmed down and packed his things.

All three were not happy about leaving the village as they headed off to the 5 Kage conference that same evening. As Kakashi had thought, the summit was very boring. They exchanged ideas with everyone from other countries, and the important documents that Sakura had previously sent were also presented by Shizune. The 5 Kage were amazed at the work Sakura and Tsunade had done in Amegakure. It was essential to stabilize the country, because a stabilized country is less vulnerable to all the separatist groups that have settled there. And this generally contributes greatly to stabilizing peace in the world. Kakashi's chest filled with pride. Even now, as a newly widowed and pregnant woman, Sakura changed the world into a better and safer place, not just for her child, but for all children in the world. And it filled him with pride to know that this wonderful, strong and extraordinary woman was his friend. All three of them counted the days until they could come to Konoha, and their loved ones, especially Sakura.

Kakashi made sure everything was perfect, when she came home. He assigned a trusted genin team to clean her house. He told Genma to put a note from him on her desk and to get the town flat ready. Furthermore, he read all the pregnancy related books and knew that Sakura needed to be close to the village and the hospital. She needed someone to look after her and that was Genma’s job or Tenzou whoever was available at the moment, until he comes back. The medic team was also informed to stay on call until Shizune is back to look after Sakura. Tsunade came with her and will stay in Konoha until Sakura can take over the hospital again. But Tsunade could be preoccupied, and therefore the hospital staff had to be ready to take over, when Sakura were to be in need.

__________________________________________________________________________________

It was a tiring journey. Sakura never felt so huge and immobile in her entire life, but she knew it would all be worth it. And she grew impatient. She wanted to meet her baby. She still can’t believe that she is almost at the end of her pregnancy, it felt forever and somehow was ending too fast. The journey took a day longer than expected, she needed to rest more than anticipated, but that was fine by her and Tsunade.

The familiar tree line and the front gate in sight made her heart jump. She was home. She was finally home! A warm and light feeling was trembling through her body. Oh, how much she missed her home! She couldn’t wait to meet all her friends and Kakashi. She was looking forward to meeting him the most.

Tsunade and her reported at the gate and were warmly welcomed by everyone who was around. They made their way to the Hokage tower, but as usual news travelled faster and by the time Tsunade and Sakura reached the Hokage Tower every single one of her friend who happened to be in town were there. Tears were forming in Ino’s eyes as she saw Sakura and her baby belly.

“Oh my god, Sakura! Is that really you? You got so big!” She screamed out in happiness and hugged her best friend as tight as it was possible without harming her. Then she continued: “I’ve missed you so much.” Ino was still the same, a thought as comforting as the woman herself. She looked amazing and if Sakura wouldn’t know for a fact, that Ino birthed a child three months ago, she wouldn’t have believed it.

“Oh, Ino! I’ve missed you so much!” She hugged Ino even tighter, “You look amazing.”

“Me? Look at you, you have never been prettier! You are glowing! Even your hair got pinker!” Sakura smiled at the compliments of her friend. Then Hinata came and hugged her as tight as Ino previously had. They all were just happy for Sakura to be back. Kiba hugged her tight and whispered in her ear, that he was really glad that she was well and back. Even Shino hugged her, much to her and everyone’s surprise, but she embraced his hug happily as long as he allowed her to.

“Where is the rest? Where is Naruto?”

“Oh,” Ino began, “Sai and Shikamaru are upstairs in the office. Choji is on a mission, same goes for TenTen and Lee. Temari is in suna with her son to meet her family there. She will stay there for some time and Shika will travel after her as soon as he can get out of the office. Which brings me to, why he is in the office in the first place. Naruto, Kakashi and Shizune are away to the five kage summit. They will be back in seven to ten days.”

“Oh,” her smile dropped for a split second. “That is no problem, the five kage summit is really important, and I am glad they went to ensure peace.” Ino hugged her again, and they went upstairs all together.

“Sai, Shika guess who came back today.” Ino started as soon she opened the door of the Hokage office.

“We already know.” Shikamaru said in an indifferent tone, but then went over to Sakura with a big smile on his face and hugged her tight. “It is so good to see you back in the village.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Shikamaru.”

He looked at her with a soft smile and added: “Please never do this again. It was such a drag.” Then Sai made his way towards her and he hugged her, too.

“I have missed you and your expertise in the medical field.” He said proudly of himself to have found the right words. Sakura smiled at him with a real smile and hugged him even tighter.

They all settled into a comfortable position, after Tsunade told Sakura to sit down and relax.

“I can’t wait to meet all of your children.” Sakura said happily.

“You will see, Inojin is the most beautiful baby you have ever seen.” Ino explained proudly.

“I beg to differ.” Hinata said, not as shyly as Sakura remembered her to be, “Boruto is just as beautiful as Inojin. All our children are beautiful.”

“Yes, you are right. All our children are cute, but mine is just the cutest.” Ino explained with a big grin on her face.

“I believe every mother says that about her own child.” Sai interrupted.

“Where are your children, if your husbands aren’t with them as well?” Sakura asked.

“With their grandparents. Speaking of grandparents, did you tell your mother that you are back again?” Ino asked. She probably knew the answer, but it was important to know it for sure. Sakura will need help, and they are all busy with their own babies. Therefore, she requires someone to help her. Even if that would mean, she asked her mother about help.

“No, I haven’t talked to her since Pain attacked. I don’t care, as far as I am concerned she is dead. She was a horrible person and an even worse mother. I don’t want my child to be in the presence of someone so vile.” Ino nodded with her head and Shikamaru shifted the conversation to Sakuras journey and her achievements and she was more than happy to tell everyone about it.

They all talked for hours, updating each other about their lives until Yamato and Genma knocked at the office door. They were both smiling as soon as they saw Sakura.

“Pinky, you are really back!” Genma shouted in excitement and hugged her tight.

“I am.”

“And you are huge.” He continued as he loosened his grip to eye her up and down.

“You know how to charm a woman, Genma.” She said as she rolled her eyes.

“Hello Sakura, it is good to see you back in the village. And don’t listen to him, you look amazing. I dare to say you never looked better.” Yamato interfered, before Genma could say something stupid again that would anger Sakura. Then he hugged her as well. He really was glad she was back. She was one of the very few persons he could talk to without feeling like an outsider or a weirdo, and he had missed that feeling. Furthermore, Kakashi wasn’t the same person when Sakura wasn’t around.

“Thank you, Yamato. It is good to be back and so lovely to see you again.”

“Woah, Tenzou when did you learn to talk so eloquently to a woman, nonetheless such a strong and fearsome one.” Genma added.

“I read some novels. I would say, you should try that. But that’s irrelevant right now. Sakura, we are here to escort you to your new flat. It is closer to the hospital and in the village. Don’t worry, your house is still here and still yours, but the Hokage talked with Tsunade and they both thought it's best, that you are not living so far away from everyone during this final part of your pregnancy.”

“I know, Tsunade already told me. And just for the record, I don’t like it, but I agree. I need short access to the hospital and its medics. Speaking of which, I would like to go to the hospital now.”

“Are you in pain?” Ino asked worried, as she jumped up to walk to her oldest friend. Tsunade got up as well and made her way to Sakura to check her and her baby. Shikamaru was concerned, too.

“Could everybody please chill. I just wanted to see what has changed there since I left six months ago and to see my colleagues. Nothing to be worried about.” Ino sighed in relief and Shikamaru lost his tension. Tsunade gave Sakura a light smack on the back of her head.

“Be careful Shishou, I am pregnant.” Sakura joked and earned a second smack on her head.

“I believe this has time till tomorrow, Sakura. We had a long day. The journey took us longer than anticipated, and you need to rest. Please don’t overdo yourself in this last month of your pregnancy. I worked too hard for this child to be healthy and strong for you to ruin it so close to the finish line."

Sakura stayed silent. She knew just one more word, and she will get another smack on her head. And this time Tsunade wouldn’t hold back that much. Therefore, she said her goodbye and followed Genma and Yamato to her new home. It was between the Hokage tower and the hospital, right next to the building of Kakashi’s flat. Genma and Yamato said their goodbyes, and she opened the door. It was a nice flat, two bedrooms, a bathroom with enough space for her and her baby, a big and open kitchen and a big living room. This flat even had a small balcony. It wasn’t her house, but she liked it. It was a fresh start, which felt good.

She noticed the letter addressed to her immediately. It had her name on the envelope. It was obviously written by Kakashi.

Dear Sakura,

I hope you had a save journey back. I am so sorry that I have to write a letter to you again. I know I had promised you to be here, when you come back, and I hate that I had to break my promise, but I will make up for this. You probably already know, that I am at the five kage summit. I didn’t want to go at first, but Shizune was right (please never tell her that) I had to go, to ensure that we keep peace. I will be back as soon as I can.

I assume that you didn’t like the fact that you have to stay in this flat and not in your house, but Tsunade and I thought it's best. We only want what is best for you. I felt free to furnish this flat for you. Please tell Genma or Tenzou what kind of furniture you need from your house, they will bring it too. They will be around your new flat in case you require anything. Even the nursery is complete. I asked Ino, Kurenai, Temari and Hinata about what you may need and supplemented this with the things I read in the books. I hope you like it, and please feel free to change everything to your liking. I want you to feel home.

I want a full travel report as soon as I get back.

へ へ

の の

も (Henohenomoheji)

へ

じ

She had a big grin on her face as she closed this letter. He really took the time to write her this letter, even though he had so much to do. She was grateful for him and the bond they had. She knew she could always count on him. And in the end, he was right. She needed to be this close to the hospital and if she were really honest to herself, she wouldn’t want to go back into this big cold house full of memories. She loved it with Sasuke by her side, but after his death it held cold and unwelcoming. It was more his home than hers. And this new place just needed some touch ups here and there, and it will be truly her home in no time. So she opened her travel bag and took out her most valuable possessions, her photos. The first one she placed was the old photo of team seven. She put it on a shelf in her new bedroom. Right next to it, she put a picture of her and Tsunade from about a year after she started to train with her. On the other side of the first photo of team seven came the updated version, which included Sai and Yamato. On her bedside table, she put a picture of Naruto and her at the age of 16. Then, of course, a wedding picture of her and Sasuke and next to it one picture of her and Kakashi. It was made on Narutos wedding day. Sasuke was still out of town, and all the others began their relationships and had their dates. She felt lonely and asked Kakashi if he would accompany her, which he gladly did. She cannot really remember at what moment this photo was taken, but it was just gorgeous. They were dancing and laughing with each other. A big grin was visible on her face as she recalled this evening.

In the living room, she put up various pictures of Naruto and her throughout the years. Followed by a picture collage of her and her girls. Then came a group photo of the Konoha twelve, which they took right after the second round of the chunin exams. It was one of her favourites, none of them wanted to be in this picture. All of them were dirty, hungry, and tired, but their sensei’s forced them and knew it was the only picture they had left of the Konoha twelve with everyone in it. Like always, she was amazed what effects some photos have to making her feel home.

Now she entered the nursery, which was already complete with everything that she could need for her child. Kakashi really thought of everything. It was all clean and new except for the crib. It was made out of a dark wood, and it had some forms engraved in it. She had seen this before, but she couldn’t quite remember where. She made a mental note to ask Kakashi when he got back. Before she knew it, a yawn overwhelmed her, and she went to bed. It had been an exciting day, and she was worn out.

Chapter Text

An all too familiar treeline was starting to get visible in front of them and they all felt the same mix of relief, excitement and tiredness as soon as their eyes laid on it. It was a long and draining affair, but after 23 days they were finally back home. Home. It was close after midnight when they entered Konoha through the front gates. They decided to keep the nights short and be home a couple of hours earlier. They said their quick goodbyes and all went their separate ways. Naruto talked about nothing but how much he missed his family the whole way back. That's why it wasn't surprising when he said goodbye the quickest of everyone. Shizune also just wanted to go home to Genma. She missed him extremely and just wanted to lie in his arms and fall asleep. Kakashi, on the other hand, was less looking forward to his bed than to Sakura and the fact that she was home again. Not just at home, but that she lived right across the street. He had vowed not to bother her tonight. He would go home, take a shower, and then go to sleep, like any sane person would have done. But about an hour ago he started to negotiate with himself. And he really wanted to stay strong, but this wasn't the first time he lost to himself. He wouldn't bother her if her lights were off. That was the deal. If her lights were off, he would do the only right thing and go straight home. But as fate would have it, a light in her flat was on. He had to admit, it was a small kitchen light, but he never said it had to be particularly bright.

His feet landed safe on her balcony. Then he looked into the flat he had chosen for her a couple of weeks prior. She didn’t change much. Some new pieces of furniture were placed, her living room furniture was moved a little and pictures and other personal items were scattered around the room, but other than that she kept his selection. It looked like home in his opinion. A warm feeling went through his body as his gaze moved to the kitchen. There she was. Her pink hair reflecting the small kitchen light, which sealed his deal to come to her tonight, has gotten quite long in this six month, but other than that nothing seemed to have changed. She still was slim and petite and if he wouldn’t know for a fact that she was about nine months pregnant by this point.

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Sakura sensed him shortly before he landed and her balcony. A big grin run over her face, but she couldn’t face him. Not just yet, she needed to take this moment in and enjoy it, because he was back. They were both back. These last few months were intense for her, but she felt like she grew immensely not only in size due to her pregnancy but also mentally. And she couldn’t wait to tell Kakashi everything she had learnt and experienced in this last six months. But he didn’t come in. He was still standing on her balcony and she started to wonder. She wanted him to come in. So she took a second tea mug from her kitchen counter and poured him some tea. She figured he was tired and could use some tea. She slid the mug next to her and started to turn, so she could face him finally. He understood the invitation and opened the balcony door and let himself in.

“I was wondering if you’d come in,” her tone soft and playful, still strong enough to fill him with it. A smile visible on her lips and her gaze fixed on her guest.

“I wasn’t sure, if I’d be welcome,” his tone mimicked hers.

“Liar.” She snickered and a smile formed on his face as well. Her pregnancy suited her well, he noticed. He was just so happy to be here with her.

“Wow, you’re…”

“…huge, enormous, fat” she continued his sentence annoyance clearly hearable in her voice, but Kakashi hadn’t thought of any of these kind of adjectives.

“Beautiful.” He now completed his sentence. A blush formed on Sakura’s face, as soon as this word left Kakashi’s mouth.

She called him a liar again, but deep down she   knew he meant what he had said. It didn’t happen often, but on some rare occasions Kakashi’s expressions were like an open book for her. She then knew exactly what he meant or what he thought and right now was one of these rare occasions. She just knew, that he was telling her the truth. The blush on her face intensified and for the first time in a long time she felt beautiful.
But none the less they spent enough time teasing each other, she wanted a proper hug and she knew she would get one. Kakashi felt the same. His only wish was to hold her and a huge smile formed on both of their faces as they started to walk towards each other. Needless to say, the hug that followed was incredibly good for both of them. Kakashi still couldn't believe his luck. She was really back and healthy and Sakura was also overjoyed to be here again. She really enjoyed her time in Amegakure and made many new friends. Of course it hurt her a lot that she had to leave her new friends behind again, but being here with Kakashi in her home was much nicer. It was something she had been looking forward to for months and right now it was a thousand times more beautiful than she imagined. If it were up to her, she would stay in this moment much longer. However, of course that wasn't possible, so they separated far too early.

Kakashi felt similarly. He too could spend a little eternity in this perfect happiness. They both settled on the sofa.

“You know; I can’t stay long” he said with sadness displayed in his face, eying his half emptied tea cup.

“I figured, Shikamaru is rather keen on getting to Suna.”

“I actually shouldn’t be here in the first place, especially so late at night and you should be sleeping already.”

“That is true.” She said, eyes half closed while looking down on the carpet.

“Thanks for the tea.” He continued while finishing it. “I need to make my report, but I’ll be back tomorrow morning, I promise, but you should rest now. I have the day off tomorrow Tsunade offered to take over for a day, so Shizune, Naruto and I can rest well. So you can tell me everything.” A smile was forming on his face and he looked in her direction. This was the best part of the whole ordeal, having a full day off to recover and spend with Sakura.

“That sounds great, but I guess Naruto and Shizune will be looking for me too.”

“No problem, I can share, at least for a little while.”

“I am not a dessert.” She shot him a dirty look and returned his gaze.

“Oh I know; you are far salty for that.” He teased pleased with his action as he saw her visual reaction.

“Salty? Me? Salty? I am no such… SALTY?” She stammered. Did he really just call her salty. Him of all people.

“Mah, mah, Sakura, you forget I always prefer salty over sweet” He said with a big grin on his face, like he had said the greatest compliment ever made in human history.

“Do you even know, what salty means?”

“What do you mean? Salty means salty, you adding salt to something, a delicious and for our survival important mineral that is deadly poisonous if you handle it wrong or misuse it. Just like you.” The grin still visible in his face.

“I cannot believe you. Are you really that old?! For the love of the first, please promise me to never, and with that I mean never, ever use salty again to describe me. Because it is not what you think it is.” A frown got visible on her face.

“Then what does it mean?” He wasn’t sure if she was serious or not.

“I won’t tell you, old man.” Now he was shooting her a dirty look. Being called old by Gai, Naruto or Tenzo was one thing but being called old by Sakura actually hurt his feelings. He wasn’t that old, why would she phrase it like this, he was just trying to be nice. He said his goodbye shortly after, still a little irritated from her reaction to his little tease. He made a mental note to find out what salty actually meant. Then he proceeded to go to the hokage tower to give his report and to dismiss Shikamaru who didn’t lose a single second. He packed his things, took his leaving permission and started his journey to Sunagakure. Kakashi didn't hold it against him. He wanted to see his wife and son again, just like Kakashi wanted nothing more than to see Sakura. Maybe not exactly, since Kakashi and Sakura were just friends and not couple, let alone be married. Even if his subconscious classified it a little differently. This thought went unnoticed and was gone as quickly as it came. Then he went home.

 His peaceful slumber got interrupted far too soon, as someone barged into his apartment in around 6 o`clock. He knew the chakra signature from the get go, it was Naruto, but what would possibly be so important, that he would break into Kakashi’s apartment.

“You need to get up. NOW!” Naruto screamed breathing heavily, his face red.

“Naruto, what is going on? What are you doing here?” Kakashi yawned. He definitely wasn't awake enough for any drama.

“Sakura is in labour. We should be in the hospital supporting her.” Naruto said. His breathing had stabilized.

Kakashi was awake. Every last bit of tiredness left his body immediately. He was in operation mode. This was the moment he read so much about and Sakura would need all the support she could get. They left for the hospital immediately. Kakashi tried to listen and understand everything that Shizune had said about Sakura to him and Naruto, but he couldn’t. First the smell of the maternity ward was far worse than he had ever expected. It took him a good minute to get his senses straight and not be overwhelmed and distracted from the smell. Then he really did not know what Shizune was talking about, but apparently Naruto understood everything. As soon as Shizune went back into Sakuras room, Kakashi wanted to know everything, that Shizune had just said, preferably with words he understood.

“To sum this all up. Sakura had a risky pregnancy and the birth of her child is equally risky if not more. She is not in a perfect condition. She is in the early stages of pre-eclampsia, which can turn into eclampsia, which is life threatening. They are doing what they can, to prevent this from happening, but childbirth is tricky, even for the best medics.” Naruto did not meet his gaze. He looked to his own feet. Kakashi remembered to have read about this in one book. He found it horrible. Just the idea of ​​convulsing to death gave him a stomach ache, but the thought that Sakura could meet that fate just one room over, felt like a kick in the stomach.

“So, what can we do?” Kakashi asked shyly. His gut told him, what Naruto’s answer would be and that was the only answer he was afraid of.

“Nothing.” Naruto answered and everything shattered inside Kakashi. “We can just wait. Shizune does not want to trouble Sakura any more than she is right now, therefor only one person is allowed in the delivery room with her. Ino is already with her and I think that is the best support for Sakura. Therefore, we can only wait for it to be over one way or another.”

Kakashi inhaled deeply. He hated the fact that he couldn't do anything. Doing nothing had always been the worst thing for him. Sakura could slip into a life-threatening situation at any moment and he wouldn't be able to stand by her side or do anything to help her. He could only watch. The floor in front of her room was hard as he sat down on it. He chose a place where he wouldn't be in anyone's way, but could still move quickly if necessary. His legs were crossed in front of his chest and his hands were resting on the laps of his knees. Naruto did the same and sat down next to him. They waited. The medical staff came and went in and out of Sakura's room. From time to time, Ino would come out to Naruto and Kakashi to let them know how things were progressing. She always had a fake smile on her face. Even if Ino didn't want to admit it, it was clear to Kakashi that Sakura's condition was getting worse. Ino's body language was painfully so telling.

With every update, every doctor rushing to Sakura's room and every time Shizune or Tsunade stepped outside Sakura's door to collect themselves, Kakashi lost himself in his dark thoughts. Even though he seemed calm and controlled on the surface, he was a complete mess on the inside. He hid his hands between his bent legs as they began to tremble. He tried to reason with himself, but his dark thoughts had long since begun to control him. He was helplessly at their mercy.

A loud scream broke through Kakashi's inner turmoil. It was a baby. There was no doubt that the cry came from Sakura's room. Her baby was born and for a brief moment, Kakashi allowed himself to hope and believe that everything would be okay. But there was a second scream. This time, it was Ino, pleading. Her plea was for Sakura to stay awake. She begged the First to have mercy on Sakura. Then she turned her attention to Tsuande and begged her to save Sakura. Then she just wept. At that moment, Kakashi was sure that he could see his own body from the outside. He saw himself. He was sitting on the hospital floor, his head in his hands, as he tried to breathe normally. Next to him, Naruto began to sob softly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Tsunade left the room and collapsed beside Kakashi. Her face buried in her hands, she cried bitterly. He inhaled sharply as a piercing pain shot through Kakashi's chest. The realisation of what had just happened hit him. When he exhaled, everything was numb. The world was a blur of shapes and every sound was just an unidentifiable murmur. And for the first time in his life, he knew with absolute certainty what the future would hold. He would follow her.

Chapter Text

Abruptly he sat up. His hands automatically went to his face. A cold dampness was clearly felt. He wiped the cold sweat from his face. Then he ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. He didn't know how he had managed to get into bed. But he couldn't care less. All he knew was that he had to get through this one day and then he would be with her again - just this one day. 

As he made his way to the bathroom, the cold floorboards creaked under his body weight. Warm steam filled the room as the warm water flowed over him while he still trembled. The water not only rinsed away the sweat but also the tears from his face, streaming uncontrollably down his face. No matter how warm and comforting the hot water might have been on any other day, it didn't do him any good today. His muscles were still tight and his mind couldn't rest. He just wanted this feeling to end, for everything to end.

Just as he was putting his mask back on, the doorbell rang. He didn't even bother to sense who it was that was standing at the door. He no longer understood the world.

You didn't have to be an empath to see that Kakashi had been crying for the entire morning. His eyes were swollen and red. They were glassy and his gaze was blank. He was in that state again.

"Kakashi?"

He didn't respond. His eyes were widely open, he was holding his breath and he was staring at the person in front of him.

"Kakashi? Please stop! You're freaking me out. What happened?"

Again, no reaction from him. Something bad had to have happened, that much was clear. Without further ado, she pushed him into his apartment. She held her hands gently over his chest, examining him with her medical ninjutsu. He still wasn't in any kind of movement, but there was nothing medically out of the ordinary, he just seemed to be in some kind of state of shock. So, she carefully placed her hands on his chest and directed her chakra into his chakra system.

As his lungs filled with fresh air again, as pleasant burning sensation ran through his throat. New tears formed in his eyes. He couldn't help but hug Sakura tightly. He was sure that death had shown him mercy and let him into heaven with her. He took a deep breath of her sweet scent. He was in heaven, for sure.

Then he held her even closer. He knew he would never let her go again.

“Kakashi? What's wrong? Please talk to me,” she said with a noticeable uncertainty in her voice. She had seen him in this state a number of times before and each time, it made her worry about him all over again.

He whispered softly in her ear, “I've got you back.”

She replied: “I don't quite understand what you mean.”

“I have you back. I have no idea how or when I followed you, but I'm so very happy.” A big smile visible on his face.

“Followed? Kakashi, you followed me where? Yesterday, you went to the Hokage Tower and then, I assume, you returned home in the evening. I had trouble sleeping this morning. I guess that's how it is when you're heavily pregnant, every position is uncomfortable.”

“Heavily pregnant?” Kakashi replied as his eyebrows raised in the middle. Then he looked down at her and the astonishment on his face became even clearer. She still had a bump, but how? He was sure that he had been there yesterday when she gave birth and died.

“Kakashi, what's wrong with you? You're worrying me.”

“I'm worrying you? You died in childbirth yesterday, Sakura. I just followed you.” His voice was soft and completely calm.

“Did you take something?” Sakura asked angrily, “Not only did I not die because I'm still very much pregnant, but how dare you follow me if I had really died. Do you really think I would want that? Do you really think I would want you to kill yourself and leave my child alone in this world, having lost not only its father but also its mother? How dare you make such a terrible decision!” Her voice was loud and the small vein showed again on her forehead. You didn't in fact need to know her to understand that she was livid.

She couldn't believe her own ears. How could he think such a thing? How could he even think of killing himself, just because she was no longer alive? Slowly, the thick, red liquid began to run down her fingers. She had clenched her hands so tightly that her palms began to bleed without even noticing.  Kakashi, however, did not miss it. A small part of him was concerned for himself, because on the one hand, he could understand Sakura and her anger, but on the other hand, he knew that he would always make the same choice, whether Sakura wanted him to or not. He had made up his mind long ago that he didn't want to live in a world without Sakura. He knows that he wouldn't be able to bear the loss of another person who was dear to him. It would be too much. At the moment, he was confused, but mostly happy that this was just a too real nightmare. He could have sworn the experience was real. That made him all the happier that it wasn't, that she was standing here in front of him, alive. Even if she is likely to beat him into the hospital with her own bare hands. He couldn't help grinning at the sight of her face and the cute little vein on her forehead.

She was one small incident away from killing him. Although a small part of her was touched that he had admitted so openly that he didn't want to live without her, she still couldn't believe it. How could he think that? How could he be so fucking reckless?

"You've almost ruined everything with your recklessness. You don't even have a clue what the consequences of such an act would have been." Her voice still trembled with anger.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously. He knew better than to provoke her any further.

"What do I mean? First, how can you be so clueless? I mean, sure, I haven't told you yet, but it's so bloody obvious."

"What's so bloody obvious? Because I don't know what you're talking about." His voice was calm, but inside he was seething too. Why didn't she see that life without her was just another misery? Still, he tried to calm himself. She was still heavily pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy and she couldn't get upset. Even if it was already too late for that.

"You goddamn idiot. I've registered you as my child's guardian in case something happens to me and I can't take care of the child,” she said angrily. Her eyes were fixed on him and his reaction. It was her intention to surprise him, but yesterday was just not the right time or place.

"You what?" he asked angrily, "how can you make a decision like this without talking to me first?"

“I... I... I didn't mean to tell you that like this,” she said, devastated by his reaction. A brief pain ran through her abdomen. She had been expecting some sort of shocked reaction, but the fact that he was so angry was what really hurt her. Her eyes fell to her feet, not daring to look at him any longer

All Sakura wanted to do, was get out of here. Away from this, away from him, away from how he'd reacted. It was her own fault, she should have been aware of the fact that this was simply too much to ask. And then that pain in her stomach again. She didn't even wait for an answer, just turned and headed for the door.

"Sakura! Wait!" He called after her and grabbed her wrist to stop her, "I didn't mean it like that. I was just shocked. I shouldn't have raised my voice, I know that. I'm sorry. Please, come back."

It worked. She stopped and turned towards him. Her gaze was still fixed on the floor.

"Sakura, look at me, please." His voice was soft and his gaze was fixed on her and every little movement. He could beat himself at times, as incompetent as he was with her. Her head still didn't move. So Kakashi carefully cupped her face with his hands and turned her face towards him. Cautiously, she looked up at him. Her cheeks had been flushed for a long time, Kakashi's as well. He gently stroked the red of her cheeks with his thumbs and lost himself in the green of her eyes, as he often did. She was sure her heart was about to jump out of her chest, and he wondered if she could hear his heartbeat as loudly as it felt to him. And for the first time in a long while, she wondered what would happen if he pulled his mask down to kiss her now.  She immediately pushed the thought out of her mind, trying not to focus on it any longer. It was a ridiculous thought anyway, they were friends, good friends, best friends even. It was purely platonic between them, and it was probably just her pregnancy hormones and the fact that she hadn't been this intimate with anyone in a long time that had made her think of it in the first place.

"I meant what I said. I'm incredibly honoured and I would love to be the guardian of your child if anything should happen to you, which it won't because you have to promise me that you won't leave me either." His face flushed even more. There was a vulnerability in his voice that surprised even Kakashi himself, but he didn't care if she noticed it. He could be vulnerable in front of Sakura. She was the only person in his life whom he trusted so completely. He knew that she hadn't always had it easy with him and yet, she was loyal and honest to him.

She replied softly and calmly, "If it is in my power, I will stay with you forever." Their gaze remained unbroken. A broad smile appeared under Kakashi's mask and she began to grin as well. Then she pressed her face to his chest and hugged him as tightly as she could. He was only too happy to return the hug. He wrapped his arms around her as well, gently pressing his right cheek against her head. Then they made themselves comfortable on his couch. They talked and talked about everything that went down the last couple of months, Sakura told him, how she started to operate without chakra usage and how this will benefit her on future missions. She told him everything about the new friends she made and all the things she learned. She deliberately left out the part about how she had cried herself to sleep almost every night, especially at the beginning, because she had missed him and the village so much, but especially him. She also left out the part where she almost ran away in the middle of the night to return to Konoha because she dreamt something had happened to him. Tsunade had found her in time and brought her back to the village.

Kakashi listened only too willingly. This was all he had been waiting for during the last months. Just to be with her and listen to her, to feel her presence and smell her scent. Then it was his turn. He talked about the changes he wanted to implement in the village and the ones he had already started to prepare. For example, he wanted to expand the connections between the villages by building highways and railways between the allied ninja villages, as this would also make it easier for civilians to travel between the villages. There was no need to mention that the council wasn't in favour. They were against any form of progress anyway. How he hated the two elders, if it were up to him, they would be sent into their long overdue retirement. Unfortunately, he couldn't decide that on his own, and the Daimyo really liked the two of them. Even if no one could understand why. He deliberately left out the part, where he used to sneak into Sakura's old house just to lie in her bed and feel close to her. He had really missed her and probably got on the nerves of everyone who listened to him, but he didn't care about that either.

It was around lunchtime when Tsunade, with Shizune and Naruto in tow, had kicked in his front door, looking for Sakura. It took Naruto less than three seconds to wrap his arms around her and hug her like he hadn't seen her in years. Kakashi had expected that they would look for Sakura at some point and that they would come here if they didn't find her in her apartment, but the fact that they had come so early didn't suit him. He wasn't ready to give up his time alone with Sakura, but now, he had no other choice. After Naruto had greeted her, it was Shizune's turn. She wrapped her arms around, then froze almost immediately. Kakashi watched the two women closely.

"Why don't you say something?" she asked Sakura angrily, looking at her in horror. Tsunade immediately put her hand on Sakura and examined her. Naruto looked worried too, but Kakashi didn't quite understand what was going on, what was wrong with her?

"Are you crazy? Why aren't you at the hospital yet? Hatake, why didn't you take Sakura to the hospital?" Tsunade asked, now very angry.

"What's going on? She didn't tell me anything, Sakura, what's wrong?" Kakashi asked worriedly.

"I might be in labour," Sakura replied shyly. She knew that she should have said something, but she didn't want to upset Kakashi, especially after his dream tonight.                                    

Kakashi's face crumbled. He thought they had more time, he hoped they had more time. Again, the scenes of his dream played out before his eyes. It couldn't be true. Everyone knew what they had to do except him. He stood there, frozen, his whole body shaking slightly. Shizune grabbed Sakura and rushed to the hospital with her. Naruto made 3 shadow clones, each of which was given different tasks by him. One was to inform Ino, another was to get her hospital bag from her apartment and the last one was to inform Iruka. 'Wait? Iruka? Why Iruka?' went through his mind but he didn't have enough time to think about it, because Tsunade was coming towards him. Luckily, she was the only one who had noticed his condition.

"What's wrong with you Kakashi, you look like you've seen a ghost?" Tsunade was a bit worried about him now. She had seen him in many situations, but only rarely had she seen fear written so clearly on Kakashi's face.

"She will die in childbirth," he said, his voice emotionalless, "I dreamt it last night. She died of eclamsia and there was nothing anyone could do for her." A single tear ran down his eye. Tsunade felt a shiver run down her spine. Kakashi was serious. The fear and desperation on his face was all too clear and that frightened her.

“Don't worry, I've got it all sorted. I've read up on all the possible complications. I've stocked the hospital with all the necessary medicines, herbs and chakras, as well as blood transfusions. I'm prepared for anything, the chances that something will happen to her during the birth are very small,” Tsunade replied confidently.

“But they're not zero,” Kakashi replied with a finality in his voice that frightened her.

“Kakashi, please. I'm the second best medical konoichi in the world and the best has studied under me. Sakura knows herself and her body very well and she will help us to heal her from the inside if necessary, but I don't think so. The pregnancy was only so risky because she and the fetus are not compatible. There was a reason why the Uchihas kept to themselves and only married within the clan. On the one hand, they wanted to keep the Sharingan pure, but on the other hand, pregnancies of a non-Uchiha with an Uchiha child were rarely viable. Most of the children died in the 5th or 6th month. The fact that this didn't happen in this case is probably due to the fact that Sakura is such an excellent medic that she heals her body subconsciously, which saved her baby's life. That's why I'm asking you to relax. Sakura is probably scared to death right now. She has to go through the birth of her first child without its father, her husband, and since she's fond of you for some reason, she might need you for emotional support during the birth. Can you do that?"

Kakashi nodded. He would do anything for Sakura, there was no doubt in his mind. He took a deep breath and followed Tsunade into the hospital. Just like in his dream, the smell in the maternity ward was so bad that he was completely overwhelmed for a moment. He shook himself once and concentrated on his plan again. He was here to support Sakura, no matter what that support looked like. Just then, Iruka arrived at the hospital, along with a Shadow Clone who almost immediately dissolved into a cloud of smoke. Not that Kakashi wanted to admit it, but Iruka's presence really irritated him. After all, he and Sakura had never been that close, so what was he doing here?

"Ah, Kakashi, good to see you here. I'm sure Sakura will be happy that you came to visit her." Iruka's voice was soft and friendly, as it usually was. This irritated Kakashi even more. He just nodded at Iruka and forced himself to smile.

"If you like, I can bring you back when it's done. I'm sure you have a lot to do," Iruka continued in the same tone and with a smile on his face.  What was Iruka trying to say?

"There's no need, I'll stay here," Kakashi replied, "but what are you doing here?"

"Me? Oh, er, right, well, I'm here to give the first blessing for the birth" Iruka scratched the back of his head.

"First blessing?" A question mark was literally forming in Kakashi's head.

"Oh, you probably don't know this because you don't have any civilians in your family, but it is customary for the father to give the new mother a certain blessing just before and just after the birth. This blessing is called the first blessing. Since Sakura no longer has a father, she asked me if I would do this for her. Of course I agreed. After all, I gave the paternal blessing at her wedding."

"Paternal blessing?"

"Yes, it is also a civilian tradition for the father of the bride to say a short blessing and prayer before the ceremony. She also asked me if I could do that for her and I was only too happy to agree."

"How nice of you," Kakashi replied with a sour undertone and the question mark in his head grew larger and larger. Why didn't he know about this? He knew that Iruka had taken on the role of father at Naruto's wedding, but the two of them had always been very close. But Sakura? They weren't close, at least not that close. A knot formed in Kakashi's chest and he wondered what was wrong with him. But Iruka made him angry, his mere presence made him angry. Kakashi had to force himself not to make a fist with his hands or to lash out at the man. He was so focused on Iruka that he didn't notice Ino calling out to him. After she called again, he turned to her. Iruka took advantage of the moment.

She was surprisingly well, considering that her water had broken on the way here and she was in active labour.

"How are you Sakura-chan?" He asked in a soft voice.

"I'm fine, thank you, and you?"

"I'm not important right now," Iruka grinned at her and then asked if she was ready. Sakura nodded and Iruka began his blessing. It was a short poem combined with a wish for a safe delivery. It ended with a kiss on the forehead of the mother-to-be.

As Iruka left the room, Ino entered. She smiled broadly at Sakura.

"Have you taken care of everything?" she asked Ino.

"I've informed them both," she reassured Sakura, "did Iruka give you your civil blessing?"  she asked and walked over to the bed where Sakura was lying.

"He did." Sakura blushed for a moment, uncomfortable, but the pain of the contractions interrupted her.

"Well, Mamma, we're going to have your baby now." Sakura nodded to her and took a deep breath to get through the contractions.

It was like his dream, Ino with Sakura to support her and him in the corridor waiting for the worst to happen. In contrast to his dream, he couldn't just sit there, so he walked up and down in front of her room. With every new scream that came from Sakura's room, something inside him clenched more and more. He was just waiting for Ino to come out of that room and tell her that things were bad for Sakura. This thought, this fear hung over him like the sword of Damocles. Another scream and another tug at him. It took him a moment to realise that it was fear inside him, pure and true fear. The realistic dream last night was almost too much for him, but to have to go through it all again, and this time for real, was just too much.

"AAAAHHHHH" Sakura's loud scream echoed through the corridor, closely followed by a second scream, a baby. Sakura's baby. Wild mumbling and hustle  came from Sakura's room, now. Ino could be heard crying, another tug inside him. A feeling of panic spread through him. As in his dream, his hands began to tremble. Minutes felt like hours, it felt like an eternity, until the door to Sakura's room opened. Ino came out. Her eyes were swollen and tears were still streaming down her face. Kakashi felt like he couldn't breathe, everything was numb.

"She made it, they're both healthy. Sakura wants you to come in and meet her baby," Ino finally said, the tears running down her cheeks even faster. Naruto went in first, with Iruka right behind him. Kakashi, on the other hand, took a moment to comprehend the situation. He took a deep breath again, then his legs moved on their own.

"Can I introduce you to someone?" Sakura asked, her voice sounding weak and slightly hoarse. All three men nodded. Then, Sakura turned the newborn baby in her arms slightly towards her guests, "My daughter, Uchiha Sarada." First, it was a loud sigh, then tears came to his eyes, she had survived, they were both fine. Kakashi cried uncontrollably.