Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Yep. He’s dying.” 

You twirled your dagger between your fingers, before cleaning the sharp blade on the man’s shirt. “Sorry ‘bout that, but I can’t get these pants dirty with your blood, they’re brand new. I’m sure you understand.” 

The sound of the man choking on his own blood was your only answer, his hands reaching for the cut on his throat as he grew more desperate, feeling the life leave his body.

“Any minute now.” You were growing impatient, crouched beside him as blood pooled on the ground, almost reaching your boots. You had never seen someone die so loudly. Then, his body went limp as his hands loosened around his own throat, eyes glassy and staring at the dark sky, lifeless. 

Double checking, you poked his face with your finger, and his head limply fell to the side, spilling drops of blood on your shoe. “Yep. He’s dead.” Grunting, you cleaned the tip of your boot on the ground, regretting the way you killed him. A blow on the heart wouldn't have been so messy . Well, the damage was done.

Carefully, you looked around the dark and empty alley to make sure no one was around, holding your dagger tightly in your hands. Friday’s were busy in Corellia, and It was unusual to be this empty late at night, especially when there were brothels open. The smell of piss and cheap beer became unbearable for your nose, even though you were used to It by now. 

Taking one last look at the lifeless body on the ground, you walked out of the alley and into the light of the streets, narrowing your eyes until they adjusted to the clarity. The silence that was around you seconds ago, was now long gone, replaced by the sound of men’s laughter and shouting, loud music coming from brothels and cantinas that would stay open until dawn. 

The way back home was quiet and peaceful. Besides the constant sound that blasted from different sources and the loud laughter, no one paid you no mind. You strategically chose to wear dark clothes to avoid blood stains to be easily seen, which always worked.

Soon the body would be discovered and for a moment panic would rise. People would wonder who could’ve done such a violent thing. Yet, the subject would die as quickly as it came to life when they found there were no leads or whatsoever. The man was a nobody. He died as a nobody. And that’s how he would be remembered: a nobody.

In times of war being a nobody was easier.

Killing wasn’t exactly your first option. Maybe occasionally. Fine, most times. It was just much more simple to just get rid of men that tried to stand in your way instead of giving them a scare.

The last time you showed mercy and gave one the benefit of the doubt, you ended up with a scar across your chest, starting in the middle of your neck. It was a fucking damage.

Work was work. As long as no one messed with you, it was fine. 

Buyers were scared of you for a reason, and you intended to keep it that way.

—

“That’s why I’d rather work alone. Fucking moron.”

You kept mumbling and cursing at your co-worker under your breath, once again fixing a mess he had made. Probably the fourth in the span of three days. It took you every ounce of your patience to just not lose your mind and straight up yell at him.

The space buns you had done in your hair earlier that morning were beginning to come undone, a few strands coming off and falling over your sweaty forehead. It had been a rough day. A rough week, actually.

Credits were low and your work plus studying weren’t really paying off. Being unknown in your field was, somehow, a good thing, but also bad.

Good because only very specific people would know how to get deadly weapons, and even less people would know where they come from. Or, more specifically, who they come from.

And bad because it was harder to get credits. Less clients, less money. That’s just how things worked. 

Worse than that, if important people found out what you did, things could end very badly for you. Producing weapons was something many did during war. Hard times called for desperate measures, right? That’s what you were doing.

You tried other routes. But nothing paid off as much as selling weapons did. Especially your weapons. There were none like them on the market, because you were the only one who knew how to make them.

If anyone took the time to study at least a little bit of biology, they would know your secret. Thankfully, no one did.

The microscope Brax had used five minutes ago was completely messed up, even after you'd told him at least a hundred times not to fiddle with the fucking settings. But did he listen? Of course not. 

With all the patience possibly able to be gathered, you fixed it, praying to the Gods that it stayed that way and proceeding to take a branch of the plant you used to make the weapons.

It was called “widowmaker”, usually only found in Dononter Minor. Luckily, you had a guy that sold them on your planet. You didn’t really know how, but you also didn’t plan on asking him as long as you had the plant in your hands.

It was magnificent. The branches were a bright color of brown with shades of a bright yellow. And the flower was the main part of it - extremely deceiving. Its beauty was unmatched, unlike anything you had ever seen in your years of study.

The petals were a baby pink, with shadows of a darker pink that shone when reflected against the sunlight. The widowmaker was exquisite, appealing and just impossibly beautiful. But it was dangerous, poisonous and deadly.

Deceiving. From afar it was pure perfection. But from a closer, more attentive look, it was lethal. 

The beauty of it was what most caught your attention. That contrast between beauty and danger. Maybe because it reminded you a little bit of yourself.

Brax almost made you drop the tweezers that held the plant’s branch as he barged into the room, a ration in his hands. As much as he would easily get under your skin sometimes, he was just a kid. And you got stuck with him thanks to the kindness of your heart.

He was your friend’s son, and became almost a little brother to you. Gina needed your help from time to time, especially when her shift at the Cantina was full. Brax became interested in biology, since he watched you study most of the time.

“I brought lunch!” He said excitedly, putting the ration he brought with him on the chair beside you.

Despite being focused on your work, you offered him a quick smile. “Thanks, buddy. Did Bonthu give you a hard time again?”

Boonthu was the one responsible for giving rations to the workers in exchange for credits. He was a Crolute, and not a nice one. His prices got higher with each month, a consequence due to the war. 

For some reason, he had a pet peeve with you and Brax, but it was worse with him. There wasn’t really a specific reason, Boonthu was a dick to literally every living creature. Maybe he enjoyed pushing Brax’s buttons so badly because he reacted like a teenager would.

Brax sighed at the sound of the Crolute’s name, pulling a chair to sit with you.

“Not really. But the credits were enough for only a single ration.” He spoke, sadness in his tone.

You inhaled deeply, taking a glance at the food set beside you. Although it was a shitty situation, you always tried to keep your best thoughts in mind, for Brax. The boy needed a little bit of hope in his life, even if it was fake. 

He needed something to believe in. And maybe, deep down, you needed too.

“Hey, we’ll be okay.” You tried to reassure him, placing a hand on his shoulder. It didn’t seem to work as he still looked down at his feet. “I’ll try to get more clients tonight.”

That seemed to lighten up the mood at least a bit, because he finally met your gaze. His eyes had that bright that you only ever saw in a kid's face. That sparkle of hope. It got you through the hardest days. 

Ignoring the rumble in your stomach, you took the ration and handed it to him, whose face fell at your gesture. Brax hated when you did that, hated when you put his needs above yours. 

“Here, take it.”

“You have to eat, Bun.” 

Whenever he used the nickname he gave you on the day you first met your heart swelled. He always used it instead of your real name, unless he was mad at you, which was extremely rare.

“I’m the adult here, bubba. I can take care of myself, ok?” You affectionately rubbed his back, pulling away from the microscope. “Besides, I’m really not that hungry.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie, because you weren’t hungry. You were starving . But you had to reassure him that you would be ok without eating, or he would throw a tantrum until you shoved the ration inside your mouth.

He reluctantly took the food from your hands, placing it in his lap. Thankful, you offered him a smile before patting his head, which he hated but accepted without complaints. 

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Brax watched you while you worked and taught him more about the widowmaker. He tried convincing you to let him use the microscope again, but you refused to after he messed with the settings, which was understandable.

After making sure he was back safely at home, you decided to head over to Gina’s Cantina. You desperately needed a drink, at this point you’d accept anything to fill your empty stomach. The night was chilly, so you decided to wear a dark cloak over your clothes before making your way through the streets of Corellia.

Gina’s Cantina was loud. Too loud for your taste. Before you could make a run for it, you saw the ginger ponytail saunting towards you. Gina. 

“It’s been forever! Where have you been?” She hugged you, her perfume strong enough to make you dizzy.

“Working. It’s good to see you, Gina.” She smiled, leading you to a booth more isolated than the others. She knew you well.

“What are you having?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m broke.” You admitted, avoiding her gaze.

“Honey, we’re past that point already. You’re my friend. Now tell me what you want, it’s in the house.” 

“Hm. Are you sure?” 

Gina rolled her eyes, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Yes, I’m sure, Bun.” 

“Thank you, Gina. Really. Then I’ll have some cushnip and a glass of ale. Add a shot of bourbon too, would ya?” 

“Rough day?” There was sadness in her voice.

“More like rough months. It’s been hard.” You sighed, rubbing your temple. You always worried all the time, and it was starting to give you a pounding headache.

“I’m sorry, B. Anytime you need something you can always come to me, I mean it.” She took your hand in hers, squeezing it lightly. You smiled at her gesture.

“You’re a good friend, Gina.”

She grinned at you before making her way back to the kitchen, her high ponytail bouncing on the back of her head. Although she made sure to help you during difficult times, you felt like you were abusing her kindness.

You didn’t want to be a bother, especially to a friend. Your only friend, besides Brax.

Soon, she returned with your food and drink, even bringing an extra ration for you to take home. Gina was a truly good soul.

With just a couple bites you were practically done with your food, your stomach glad for being filled with solid stuff instead of just alcohol. The drink didn’t last long either.

With each sip the liquor burned down your throat, but at this point you could barely feel it anymore. It was becoming recurrent. Work, drink, sleep and then work again. Sometimes you dreamed about how different things could be.

If you had enough credits, Brax could have a proper education. You could have a nice house on another planet. You wouldn’t have to worry about food, ever. It would be peaceful. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t reality. 

The later it got, the more crowded the Cantina got. Music began blasting and the ground vibrated beneath your boots as the lights began to turn dim. Right now you were very much thankful that Gina placed you in the most isolated booth.

Something shifted in the air while you finished your third glass of ale. The sound of the crowd grew more silent than it was, the screaming turning into whispers. And you quickly found the reason why.

Six shadows entered the Cantina, their heavy boots creating an alarmingly loud sound against the floor. They were all covered in dark robes and clothes, frightful masks covering their faces and weapons in their hands. The energy that radiated from them was filled with darkness and violence. 

It was nearly tangible, and you could feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. They moved as a single shadow - like they were one, perfectly synchronized. As they settled in a booth next to yours, people gradually began to talk again, the music coming back to life.

None of the waiters and waitresses dared to approach them. Except, of course, for Gina. Polite as she was, with a cheeky smile she walked to their table to take their orders. Much to your surprise, they didn’t scare her off and ordered the usual things. 

Even from a distance, you were able to hear their deep, distorted voices, probably because of a voice modulator installed on their masks. It sent shivers down your spine, and you caught yourself staring longer than you should’ve.

Gina brought their beverages and swiftly turned on her heels to come towards your booth. The look on her face was unsettling.

“Is everything alright? Are they bothering you?” You asked, glancing between the shadows and your friend. The dagger hidden in your holster ready to be used if needed.

She discreetly shook her head ‘no’. 

“Uhm.. They said they’re looking for someone that goes by the name ‘B’.” 

Color drained from your face. The content in your stomach threatened to rise up all the way to your throat. As much as you needed clients, they didn’t look exactly like people who would need weapons seeing as they already had theirs in hand. Very deadly, by the way. 

“Oh.” That’s all you were able to say.

“I said I don’t know anyone with that name.”

Her confession made you breathe in relief. But it didn’t ease your anxiety. They were after you and not knowing why made your heart pound in your chest. 

You began to nervously roll strands of your hair around your fingers, avoiding their constant gaze. 

Still, not long after, two of them made their way towards your booth and you felt their presence before you saw their dark figures standing in front of you. Their stance was stiff, and from a closer look you noticed how tall they were - they easily towered over you.

One of them had a scary scythe resting over his shoulder, fresh blood covering the sharp blade. His mask was gridded, and the robes he wore reminded you of the skin of a reptilian. His breathing was even, controlled as his chest rose and fell in a rhythmic motion. 

The other one had his leather gloved hand firmly gripping the handle of a mandalorian ax. That awoke a curiosity in your mind, of how he got that weapon - it wasn’t easy getting beskar unless you came from Mandalore. His mask was dark grey, conveying a menacing rictus, with a dark cloak over it. He was tall - like, very tall - and brooding, in a way that a single punch from him could rip your head off.

Both of those men set all the alarms ringing loudly inside your head. Yet, you offered them a cocky smile and gestured for them to join you in your booth.

Confidence is the key , you thought.

They exchanged looks between them before finally moving, sitting beside each other and across you. Their weapons never leaving their hands.

“What can I do for you, gentlemen?” You asked, a coy smile on your lips.

“We’re looking for B.” The one with the scythe spoke. His tone was demanding. 

“Hm. I’m afraid I can’t help you.” You said, playing with your glass of ale. “Unless…”

The men were silent, waiting for you to complete your sentence. Shifting lightly, you leaned your elbows against the table and looked at the two of them for several seconds before speaking, your voice like honey.

“Unless I get something from it. I don’t just give precious information for free.” 

You attempted to hide your fear by cocking an eyebrow, taking another sip of your ale to ignore the knot tied in your stomach.

“How about your life? Tell us what you know and I won’t choke you with my bare hands, hm?” The one with the ax growled, his grip around the handle of his weapon tightening.

“How about dinner first, buckethead?” 

Once more you were met with silence from them, but the energy had definitely changed. You shifted uncomfortably on your seat, tapping your nails rhythmically against the table as you stared into their faceless mask. 

You sighed in defeat.

A little lie didn’t hurt.

“You just missed him. He left a couple minutes before your boyband arrived.” You said, peeking over at them with your chin down.

Hopefully they’d eat that shit up and leave you alone. The two of them briefly darted their gaze towards the booth behind, where the other shadows sat, then right back at you. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at them, unmoving. You discreetly brought a hand towards the holster around your thigh, ready to pull out your dagger if you needed. But, surprisingly, the creatures left your booth without another word, their steps disturbingly loud until the sound faded away. 

One would think that they had decided, out of the kindness of their hearts, to leave you alone. But you understood what it meant. They hadn’t left you alone, and that was your cue to get the fuck out of there. 

You quickly gathered your things and moved towards the back entrance, the one only employees used. The doors wooshed open for you and you heard Gina’s voice fading away as she called out your name, asking you to wait. She didn’t know what had just happened, and in all honesty, neither did you.

The cold wind kissed your skin as you bolted towards the streets, pushing any form of life out of your way. You squinted your eyes, trying to adjust to the dark. You ran faster than lightspeed, to the point where you couldn’t hear a sound besides your heavy breathing and feel anything but your heart pounding against your chest. 

You grunted as you felt the ache in your muscles, ignoring the burning agony in your lungs as you forced yourself to keep running.

Almost there , you thought, the tiny voice in the back of your head giving you that spark of hope.

Only to be ripped away from you as a massive figure bumped into you, bringing you to the ground. You groaned in pain as your body slammed into the hard floor, dark spots filling your vision. 

A sharp pain pierced your lower back as you tried to move, scrambling away from whatever or whoever it was you collided with. You felt dizzy as you writhed under a hard body, probably twice your size. As your eyes finally adjusted, you could see a masked man over you, dark robes covering his body.

It was one of the shadows. You rolled around on the ground, both of you fighting for dominance as he tried to immobilize you against the ground. You’d die before you let him overpower you.

With a painful twist of your hand, you grabbed your dagger attached to the holster around your thigh and lunged towards him. That seemed to get him by surprise, because he was definitely not expecting someone your size to put up a fight against someone as big and strong as him.

He laughed at your attempt to stab him. That kriffing, bantha fodder tin man was laughing. 

You growled, clenching your teeth as you managed to overpower him and pin his body to the ground. Your legs successfully kept him pinned underneath your body and you lunged your hand towards him again.

This time, you were able to superficially stab his abdomen, the material of his robes way too thick to be penetrated, but your strength was enough to make him let out a pained groan. 

His hands flew to where you had injured him, and that gave you enough time to sprint away, ignoring the constant ache in your muscles. Your breath was labored as you ran for your life, feeling like your body was on the edge of giving up completely.

Run, run, run. Keep running.

You didn’t know exactly where you were going - you just knew you had to run. 

At some point you ended up in the forest, but you were lucky enough to know the way out in case you got too far. The tall trees made it more difficult to see in the dark but you refused to stop, keeping your pace.

It was deadly silent when you stopped, unable to ignore the longing ache that was beginning to spread through your body. Your lungs burned from the lack of enough oxygen. Warm stickiness dripped from your forehead and you tasted iron on your tongue.

You were bleeding - the adrenaline hadn’t let you feel the pain of your wounds, which were probably caused by your fall. 

Tears filled the corner of your eyes as the physical pain of your wounds mixed with the fear of getting killed. Or worse - taken. Over the sound of your heavy breaths and your heart pounding in your head, you heard steps - followed by the snapping of twigs. 

It was far too dark to be able to see anything more than a meter away from you. You had to trust your hearing and gut. 

The steps came to a halt. And from the darkness among the trees, a single shadow emerged. But you could feel there were more around you, just hidden in the dark. 

Predators after their prey.

Only a fool wouldn’t recognize the creature that stepped out of the shadows. The Jedi Killer. He was covered in dark robes, his face covered by a mask that sent shivers down your spine. Tales of the masked creature were told through the galaxy, and almost no one survived to tell the story.

You were about to find out if you would be part of those “almost”. 

“You know who I am.” The modulator of his mask made his voice creepier and deeper, sending a trail of goosebumps down your body.

Words died in your throat before you could manage them to get out. You began backing away from him, who took slow, calculated steps towards you. From afar it was clear that he was massive , much taller and broader than you. 

A sharp pain pierced through your lower back as you accidentally collided against a tree, your eyes fixed on your hunter. You hissed in discomfort, finding yourself cornered by him.

“Kylo Ren.” The words fell from your lips between elaborated breaths, falling from your tongue like venom. 

Tears began to spill from your eyes, although you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the salty liquid on the corner of your lips. You slid your hand down to your thigh, holding the handle of your dagger for dear life.

Kylo was dangerously close to you, to the point where you could feel the heat radiating from his body. You almost let out a hysterical laugh at how absurd this situation was.

Thankfully you were able to hold your laugh, but that didn’t stop you from snorting on his face. You were a mess. Adrenaline and fear coursed through your veins, nearly making you high. 

Your laughter died in your throat as he stared down at your ragged scar, on the exposed part of your neck. It was so fast you almost thought you began to hallucinate. 

Taking the momentarily distraction, you held your dagger tightly between your fingers and lunged your hand at him, attempting to stab his shoulder or any part of his body.

I need to escape. He’s going to kill me.

Your hand stopped midair. For a moment you thought the blade had carved into his robes, but the impact never happened. You looked at the weapon and then back at him, fear flooding in your veins.

“ Foolish girl.” 

The back of Kylo’s gloved hand collided against your cheek, the blow hard enough to send you straight to the floor. Your body collided against the dirty ground with a loud ‘thud’, and panic rose in your core.

You frantically began to crawl to get away from him, though it was a useless fight. The sting on your cheek spread down to your neck, warmth filling that side of your face as you tried to ignore the sharp pain on your limbs and scramble away from the masked creature. 

“Pathetic, really.” His tone was flat, uninterested. 

His words made anger boil in your blood, and it was enough to give you strength to flip over and lay on your back, your eyes fixed on the visor of his mask.

“ Fuck.. you.” You hissed between heavy breaths.

Kylo twirled your dagger between his fingers, his motion stopping abruptly at your words. The dark cloak he wore grazed against the skin of your arm, and suddenly you became aware of how close he was to you.

He reached out a gloved hand, the same one he used to slap your face, and your airway became restricted. The pressure increased as you brought your hands up to your neck, gasping in terror. You felt like your lungs were going to be crushed, and began to feel lightheaded, dark spots filling your vision.

This is it. I’m going to die. 

The pressure around your neck was released and for a moment you thought death had come. But you smelled the dirty ground, heard the whistle of the wind ringing in your ears and the sharp pain hadn’t faded away. 

You were breathing. Hanging by a thread, but alive. 

The masked creature pivoted as a dark mass stepped out of the shadows, just for your eyes to find another mask. You recognized it from Gina’s Cantina and panic flooded your veins. 

Both men spoke, but the ringing in your ears didn’t allow you to hear much, though you were able to decipher a sentence or other. A bloody smile spread on your face as you figured it out.

“We found Dikar Werwo.” The shadow from Gina’s Cantina spoke, his distorted voice sending shivers down your spine. “With a slit throat.”

Anger radiated from the dark mass above you, his masked face whipping towards your fallen body. “ You.”

He reached out his gloved hand again, yet this time the pressure was around your skull. A burning pain pierced through your head and into your brain, a guttural scream leaving your throat. The more you fought the worse it felt.

Flashes of memories you had flooded your mind. Kylo dug deep into your mind until you were screaming your lungs out, the pain nearly crushing you entirely. 

The gloved hand abruptly stopped its motion and the dark mass took a step away from your body, still squirming with the aftershocks of pain. 

You groaned and squinted your eyes, the pressure around your skull fading away completely. His head whipped towards the other shadow and then back at you, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took.

“Forget Dikar Werwo.” 

An invisible force brought you up on your feet, though you had absolutely no strength to carry your own weight on your legs. The masked creature was doing this, forcing your body to face him as his faceless mask stared down at you.

A groan left your lips as he placed one gloved hand over your face, inches away from touching your skin and close enough that you could smell the leather.

“We have the girl.”

The last thing you saw was Kylo Ren’s faceless mask as darkness enveloped you.

Chapter Text

The ground was hard and cold. 

A sharp pain pierced through your lower back as you tried to move and a low groan escaped your lips.

Ok, bad idea.

Your eyes slowly began to adjust and focus, until you were able to figure out where in the seven hells you were.

The room was small, the walls way too high with a thick door right in front of you. 

Your first instinct was to look around. This was, for sure, a prisoner’s cell. There was barely any strength left on your body to get yourself up on your feet, but you forced yourself to try.

You crawled towards the nearest wall, leaning your palms against the cold surface to support yourself as the muscles of your legs worked hard to get you standing. Again, you were met with a disturbing pain on a few parts of your body and a painful groan came from your throat.

The memories from last night slowly appeared on the surface of your mind.

Gina’s Cantina. Shadows. The forest. 

Kylo Ren.

No. No, no, fuck no. The First Order captured you. Worse, Kylo Ren captured you.

His faceless mask was the last thing you recalled before you fell unconscious. And here you were. Taken.

A loud sound reverberated through the ground and you whipped your head towards the door, only to find a dark mass standing there. Behind him, three other masked creatures. You quickly remembered them from Gina’s. 

Heavy footsteps echoed in the room as Kylo Ren made his way to you, the dark cloak swirling around his boots at every subtle move he made. It took him only three steps to get close to you, and suddenly you felt very small in his presence.

The question that remained and haunted you: why hasn’t he killed me yet?

His silence was disturbingly worse than the sound of his distorted voice, and the lack of words agonized you. Despite the pain piercing through your body, you forced yourself to stare into the visor of his mask, straightening your posture the best you could.

Again, you were met with silence as he analyzed you.

“Well, this is awkward.” You held his gaze, defiant.

A hum came from behind the mask as he took another step towards you, the material of his robes inches away from grazing against your skin. 

“I have been looking for you, B.” 

Oh. 

Color drained from your face at the sound of your nickname coming from him. Yet he seemed oddly calm. It made panic flood your veins. 

Heavy footsteps came from behind him, the sound belonging to one of the shadow’s boots. You immediately recognized his mask and the weapon in one of his hands - a mandalorian ax. In his other hand, he held a smaller weapon, with a retractable blade and spikes around the handle. 

You easily recognized it, since it was your weapon.

The blade was still stained with the blood of the creature you had superficially stabbed. It contained venom, but the wound you had caused wasn’t deep enough. It would probably just cause a two day sickness. 

Nothing permanent, unfortunately. If the blade had gone through an organ or cut any veins, he would certainly be dead by now. 

Your head whipped towards the faceless mask that held your weapon, then back at Kylo Ren. He took the weapon from the creature’s hand, taking his time to carefully analyze it as he twirled it between his fingers.

“What is this?”

“A weapon. Duh.” You shrugged, masking your own fear with fake confidence. 

His blow was faster than you could ever predict. The back of his gloved hand collided against your cheek, the same side he had slapped the very last night and still sore from his last blow. The impact was hard enough to make you stumble, but thankfully you were able to lean your hands against the wall, saving you from a very uncomfortable fall.

You bit the inside of your cheek to shut a pained groan, the skin stinging and throbbing as warmth filled that side of your face and spread down to your neck. Anger and fear bubbled in the pit of your stomach as you whipped your head towards him again. 

“I won’t ask again, girl. What. Is. This?” Rage radiated from him as he spit the words behind the mask, holding the weapon up close to your face. 

As much as you’d like to put him in his place, you were in no position to put yourself in jeopardy. Not when you had the chance to tell Supreme Buckethead what he wanted and maybe, just maybe, earn your survival ticket. 

Instead of listening to your brain, the words just slipped out of your mouth. “You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can figure it out. Or has the bucket in your head damaged your brain beyond repair?” 

Another blow to your already bruised cheek. This time the blow of his gloved hand was harder, not giving you any chance of balancing yourself before you fell, a loud ‘thud’ echoing through the walls as your body collided against the hard ground.

The palms of your hand scraped on the floor in an attempt of propping yourself up, avoiding a broken nose, and you bit your lip to hide a painful wince. Warm liquid ran down from the corner of your mouth and you tasted iron on your tongue, fueling the hate in your veins even more.

The Supreme Leader watched you from above, his hands clasped behind his back as if he hadn’t just knocked you on the ground with a single slap. You were caught by surprise when he crouched down in front of you, slightly tilting his masked face to the side. 

His gloved fingers grabbed your chin, squeezing hard. You flinched at the pain, keeping your eyes locked into the visor of his mask. 

It didn’t scare you the most when he was violent, raising his voice or using his wizard powers on you. No.

What scared you the most was when he seemed oddly calm, controlled and unpredictable. Not being able to somehow tell his next move was far more terrifying.

“We’ll just have to do this the hard way, then.” He wasn’t threatening you. He was just pointing out what he would do.

“I’m not giving you anything.” You hissed between clenched teeth, feeling the blood drip from your lower lip and down your chin.

He hummed behind the mask. “You know I can get whatever I want.” 

The deep voice faded away as he dropped your blade on the ground and reached out his now free hand, placing it in front of your face, stretching out his fingers until that familiar ache began to build around your head.

A feral scream ripped from your throat as he forced into your mind, tears forming in the corner of your eyes until you felt yourself on the edge of falling unconscious one more. Kylo Ren had pushed you near your limit, and before your pride could keep the words in, you spilled them out in an act of desperation.

“Widowmaker.” You spoke between heavy breaths, and the pain finally ceased. “There’s widowmaker venom on the blade.”

Kylo Ren didn’t need to know that you were the one that made them, right? If he was smart enough, then somewhere in that peanut sized brain of his he knew already that you were the one selling those weapons. 

He was still as stone, only his head slightly crooking to the side as your weapon flew back into his hand, his grip tight around the handle of it, the leather of his gloves squeaking with the movement. 

“My Knight is in the Med Bay because of a superficial cut. From this.” He enhanced the word ‘this’ by nearly shoving the blade into your face. He straightened himself up and stepped closer to you, the sound of his boots alarmingly loud in the quiet cell. “Your weapon.” 

“Oh, so that’s what he was, a Knight. I thought he was your puppy who follows orders like a little bitch.” The words dripped from your tongue with venom as you kept your gaze on the visor of his mask. 

There was nothing you needed to know about Kylo Ren that you didn’t know already. The Jedi Killer, a cruel, merciless killer. A monster - the devil himself. As a child, you were told monsters didn’t exist; they were merely a consequence of your imagination.

But now you knew: monsters were real. The devil was real and he didn’t have horns, a tail or a trident. He wore black robes and a dark, intimidating mask.

Kylo Ren wasn’t a good man - or creature, honestly you couldn’t be quite sure. And any hope you ever had of making out of this situation alive was crushed by his next move. He reached out his gloved hand, that familiar pressure around your head beginning to build.

A guttural scream left your mouth as he twisted his hand, the pressure turning into an excruciating pain around your skull to the point where you could swear your brain was about to explode. 

He abruptly pulled his hand away and the pain was gone in a split second, his arm falling to his side. 

“Who are you?” His voice wasn’t as loud as it was moments ago.

You lifted your chin up to look at him, your lips parting in surprise. Kylo Ren stared through your soul as you studied him with wide eyes, confused at his question. Strangely, he seemed as confused as you, and somehow you found comfort in that. 

Certainly he had seen the truth. Not seen, but ripped it away from you in the most painful way possible. 

Different memories began to come to the surface of your mind, spinning in fast images like a carousel that went round and round inside your head, never stopping. 

That carousel fucking terrified you.

“You’re a fucking monster.” You hissed between clenched teeth, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. It was uncertain to you why him bringing back your worst memories to you struck a nerve. Or why you hated the idea of Kylo Ren knowing your vulnerabilities.

Not your weaknesses, things that would give him the power to hurt you physically. But your vulnerability, the ash of what was once full innocence. 

It was uncertain why you hated the idea of Kylo Ren knowing all of that.

It just did.

The dark mass got closer to you, slightly lowering his masked face to look at you. “Oh? I believe you’ll find out we’re much more alike than you think.” 

Anger boiled in your veins at the realization of his words. At the realization that, maybe, Kylo Ren was right about you. About what you denied for years, what you hid from yourself for your own sake. 

There was something dark inside you. And you hated it. You avoided it for as long as you could, and now you were being forced to look into the mirror and see the true colors. See who you truly were. 

But there was a difference between him and you. He slaughtered villages, killed children and innocent people, and for what? 

You had a purpose. Not a single life you took was in vain or for pure joy. However, you did enjoy a little too much watching life fade from the eyes of your unfortunate victim.

“I could never be like you.” You spit, burning daggers into the visor of his mask as you found enough strength to bring yourself up on your feet. “I’m not a monster.” 

“Why keep lying to yourself? You know what you are.” He paused, his chest rising and falling. “You kill people. How is that any different from me?” 

“Not people. Men. I kill men.” You scoffed, crossing your arms around your chest. “And with a reason. I don’t just kill because I’m throwing a tantrum.” 

“And your reasons for killing are more justified than mine? They are still lives you took. It doesn’t make you less of a killer.” 

You angrily whipped away tears from your cheeks, clenching your teeth as you took in the truth behind his words. He wasn’t wrong. But you’d die before admitting the truth, especially to him. 

“You see it, don’t you?” He taunted, reading through you like seeing through a piece of glass. Completely transparent. 

Kylo Ren watched as realization fell upon your face. As you took in the truth. He needed to see you embracing the darkness you denied, even if just a little bit. He wanted to see it. And as much as you didn’t want to, it was very, very tempting.

It scared you - no, terrified - to see the side of you that was hidden in the dark alleys of Corellia. 

“What the fuck do you want from me?” You whispered, growing tired of the conversation. Why make it any longer if he was going to kill you either way?

“Your skills.” You stared at him in confusion. What exactly did he mean by that? Before you could think of any ideas, he spoke again. “You’ll work exclusively for me and my Knights. Your weapons now belong to us.” 

You breathed heavily, taking in his words. Kylo Ren didn’t want to kill you. You were still trying to adapt to the idea of not dying when he added, “You belong to the First Order now. To me.”

That wasn’t an offer. It was a demand - an order. Kylo Ren didn’t want to kill you. He wanted to own you. 

Frantically shaking your head, you backed away from him and felt your heart pounding against your chest, anxiety pooling in your body.

You had sold weapons to the Resistance before, and to the First Order. It didn’t matter who was buying, as long as you got the credits you needed. And now the Kylo Ren wanted you to, technically, work exclusively for him and by extent, his Knights. 

“One condition.” 

“Do you really think you’re in position to demand anything?” He growled, his proximity making you feel too small compared to him. 

You simply ignored what he said, keeping your eyes on the visor of the mask. “I don’t work for free.” 

“I didn’t think you would. Credits won’t be a problem.” 

As a First Order employee - actually, an exclusive employee for Kylo Ren -, you figured they’d offer you the basics: food to eat and a bed to sleep. And flying high in space you were completely safe from anyone that could possibly, maybe try to get in your way.

The job would provide you safety and comfort. Credits were just a plus, and honestly, you didn’t give a shit about the money if you were going to spend the rest of your days not worrying about having food to eat or a safe space to sleep. 

You cared about Gina and Brax. All you wanted was to keep them safe, give them the chance to live on a planet of their choice, to give a chance of Brax completing his studies and becoming a biologist, like you. 

Kylo Ren was taken aback. He could sense you didn’t ask about the credits because of your own needs. With little to no effort, he quickly pushed into your mind and soon found out the reason why.

To say he was surprised was an understatement. At first he thought you wanted credits to spoil yourself. Then he found out it was a selfless question, and that all you wanted was to provide a good life for the only people you cared about.

Provide a life worth living.

This was a night of unexpected events for Kylo. He didn’t plan on letting you live to see the light of day, let alone work exclusively for him and his Knights. As he took you, all he could think about was the different ways to make you give him the information he needed.

Until you’d be no longer useful, and then he would easily get rid of you. That was, until he forced into your mind and saw the truth. Kylo was wrong all along. 

You didn’t only sell the weapons. You were the one who made them. He thought he’d found the main information. Little did he know he had found the source.

And now that he knew that, he’d be damned before he let you fall into someone else’s hands. Those weapons were too precious to just let go. 

Then, much to his surprise, you wanted to give away most of your earnings to others. Despite your own needs, you were putting the only people you loved above you. Once again he caught himself surprised by you. 

You were completely unpredictable. And somehow that intrigued him. 

“Fine.” 

It would all be worth it if Brax and Gina had the chance of getting the life they deserved. If you could give that to them by working for Supreme Buckethead and his little bitches he called Knights, then so be it.

Maybe ‘employee’ was just a fancier way of saying “prisoner”, but it could be worse. Right?

The interaction with the dark mass in front of you didn’t allow your eyes to wander around the cell. Three of his Knights were still there with you, their stances still and the grip around their weapons disturbingly tight.

A loud sound reverberated through the ground and the doors of your cell whooshed open, the white lights of the corridors illuminating the darkness you were trapped in. 

For a moment, you and Kylo just stood there, exchanging looks. The only sound you heard was from your heart pounding inside your head and both of your breaths. Most times you were unsure if he was looking you in the eye or staring at the scar on your neck. 

The rest of your scars were covered by tattoos. But the one on your neck served as a reminder, and you refused to cover it up. 

Kylo Ren pivoted, the dark cloak swirling around his ankles at his movement. “Follow me.” 

He didn’t give you time to reply, walking away and expecting you to do as he told you to. 

You didn’t disappoint.

It was quite difficult following his pace, one step from him probably equaled to three from you. The three Knights followed, keeping a not so comfortable distance from you, reminding once again that you weren’t a guest. 

Kylo Ren led you through corridor after corridor, most of them looking exactly the same. The corridors were extremely long within the ship arrangement, at regular intervals along its length. Lights reflected on the black, high polished floor. It all seemed very clean.

And that included the officers that passed by. Their uniforms were clean and spotless, their postures straighter than you as they walked around with their chin up, arrogants, with not an ounce of sympathy on their faces.

It was obvious that everyone around was absolutely terrified of Kylo Ren and his Knights. That only worsened your perspective of the situation. 

The way was silent aside from the sounds of the boots that escorted you through the Finalizer. Anxiety pooled in your core as you suddenly became very aware of what you were getting yourself into. 

It’s fine. This is fine. Right? I’m just going to be around seven of the most dangerous men in the galaxy. No biggie.

Yeah. That was a terrible fucking idea. Thinking about the help you would be able to provide for Gina and Brax helped calm your anxious nerves, but it didn’t make the situation any better.

The dark mass that led the way abruptly stopped and waved his hand in front of a door, which whooshed open for him. He then turned towards you, and with another wave of his gloved hand, the three shadows behind you left, their steps fading away into the corridor.

“These are your quarters.” He said plainly, clasping his hand behind his back.

Hesitantly, you moved to enter the room, avoiding the constant gaze from behind his mask. The quarters assigned to you were much, much better than you’d expected. There was a proper bed, a wall length window that provided a breathtaking view of the galaxy.

Kylo Ren waited as you explored, finding a refresher attached to the room and a small kitchen. It was only one room, but somehow it was the perfect size, and bigger than any place you’d ever lived in. The colors were obviously dark grey and black, though you wouldn’t expect anything different. 

“A droid will deliver your datapad by the morning.” The modulator of his mask never failed to send shivers down your spine. 

As you turned on your heels to face him, the dark mass was already gone, without giving you any further instructions. Perhaps said datapad would contain every intel and information you needed to know.

The second the doors wooshed and closed, you let out a breath you hadn’t even noticed you were holding. Your body relaxed at the realization of finally being alone and somehow safe, not having to worry if Kylo Ren was going to kill you or not.

Your muscles were sore and tired from the last events, and you headed for a hot steaming shower before throwing yourself on your bed, which you found very comfortable. The mattress wasn’t too soft nor too tough, and the duvet was incredibly smooth and warm.

When you finally rested your head against the pillow, it all sank down on you. You worked personally for Kylo Ren and his Knights. Not by choice, obviously.

There was barely any strength left on your body to fight back or refuse the demands of the Supreme Leader. You felt sick to your stomach for it. The last thing you wished for was to work for anyone, especially by force. 

Maybe you worked for them. But you refused to ever submit to Supreme Buckethead or the First Order. 

If anyone gave you the opportunity, you would run away the second you could.

Kylo Ren found himself pacing around his quarters, still entranced by you. Still surprised at how the events of last night turned out. 

And on the edge of obsession. The more you denied the darkness inside of you, the more he wanted you to embrace it, to show you who you truly were. He knew you weren’t happy with the situation, and very aware that you would still kill him and any of his Knights if you had the chance. 

A sick, twisted part of Kylo felt aroused by that. It only made him want to force you into submission even more. To break you, tear you apart until you come completely undone. To destroy the rest of innocence you still had in you. 

Nothing was going the way he had planned. Kylo didn’t think you were both seller and maker. Seven hells, he didn’t even consider leaving you in one piece after being done with you. But circumstances had changed. Nevertheless, there was much more than interest in your skills on his part.

The Supreme Leader felt frustrated at himself for having a hard, throbbing cock whenever you opened that mouth of yours with a come back, with anything but submission and useful information. 

He convinced himself it was pent up stress, and burying his cock inside any whore from a brothel in Canto Bight would solve the issue. Not his proudest moment for certain when he heard himself groaning out loud at the thought of having you broken and submitted at his feet.

Kylo Ren always got what he wanted. Your submission and devotion was one of the very few things he yet had to get. It was very easy for him to have anyone bow down to him out of fear - not respect.

But you, oh, it was much different. You had not an ounce of respect, and if there was fear, you refused to show it. It drove him absolutely mad. Mad with anger, frustration, and the worst of all: desire.

Despite all of the violent delights he had, Kylo had some morals. Not many, for sure, but he wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to. Sexually speaking. It would be much more interesting and satisfying to see you submit and crumble to his feet out of your free will. 

Maybe all you needed was a little push. And he would gladly give it to you.

Chapter Text

Of three things you were absolutely sure of:

1. Kylo Ren was an irredeemable asshole.
2. You hated him with every single cell of your body. And if given the chance you would stab him.
3. Despite your anger towards him, you really wanted to stab General Hux.

When the droid delivered your datapad earlier that morning, you didn’t expect for your first assignment to be a meeting with General Huggs. Wait, Hux . It didn’t really matter. What you knew for sure, was that he was clearly bothered by your presence as much as you were by his.

That morning hadn’t started off good to begin with. First, the bruises on your face had barely gotten any better overnight. Your cheekbone was still slightly swollen, covered with different shades of purple and red, while the cut on your lip looked somehow better. But everything hurt. It was hard to point to any part of your body that wasn’t sore or in pain. 

Also, you had something far from a good night of sleep. Decent, perhaps. But you tossed around the bed for about two hours before forcing your body to relax, needing rest. 

Being captured could do that to a person.

The night had been silent, except for the sound of your annoyed grunts and the duvet being moved around the mattress as you tried to find a comfortable position to fall asleep. 

Every time your eyes closed the images of last night came to the surface of your mind. Images of the forest, the chase - the hunt. Of Kylo Ren and his Knights. You could feel your body fidgeting against the anxiety pooling in your muscles. 

Seven devils haunted your sleep. Actually, the lack of it.

Then, you struggled for quite a while to figure out how to find the map in your datapad, resulting in you being late for your first meeting. And when you did find the map, the way was too far from your quarters.

Perhaps Supreme Buckethead placed you in those quarters on purpose. Honestly, at that point, you didn’t doubt anything.

Anxiety had pooled in your core with every step you took towards the Command Center, and it developed into raw, genuine hate the second the General saw you.

There wasn’t an ounce of sympathy in his gesture or voice, and his disgust was very much clear to you. His ginger hair was impeccably combed, not a single strand out of place, his posture straighter than you.

Everything at the Finalizer was impeccable, spotless and clean, including the officers that walked around the corridors. A huge contrast to you, who still wore the clothes from last night - dirty, wrinkled and stained with blood. Taking a shower did nothing to help, except for the smell of lavender that now filled any room you entered. 

Silence hung in the air, the tension between you and the General thick enough to be cut with a knife. The only sound to be heard was his even breaths and your unsteady heart beating against your chest. 

That carousel in your mind began to spin, fast and uncontrollable, to the point where you felt dizzy. 

Also, Hux kept stealing glances at you, his eyes deeply focused on the scar that ran across your cheek and down to your jaw. Half of it was hidden by your shirt, which covered your entire collarbone. Disgust was written all over his face, he clearly wanted you to know how much he despised you.

That scar was the only one you didn’t cover up with tattoos. All of the other scars on your body were covered up, not because you were embarrassed by them, but because each told a different story, a different kill that you didn’t exactly want to be constantly reminded of.

So, you decided to use tattoos as a way to give them a new meaning. All of the designs you drew yourself, wanting them to be special and unique on your skin. You were proud of them. Your favorite one was a dragon that covered half of your back, right in the middle. It represented the day you freed yourself from the one who tried to tame you. 

The one who gave you the scar on your face. And that was precisely why you decided not to cover it. To remind you that it was a symbol of strength and battle, that you escaped from with life. The face of that man still haunted your nightmares, but you convinced yourself he was no longer after you. Because he did, in fact, disappear. 

The doors of the General’s office wooshed open, and a black mass was revealed. The Supreme Leader, covered in his dark robes and with that stupid helmet covering his face, walked into the room. His boot sounded alarmingly loud in the quiet room, as his cloak swirled dramatically around his ankles.

With only three large steps he reached his seat, but instead of sitting down, he just stood there on his feet, glaring at Hux through the visor of his mask. The General clearly gulped, adjusting the collar of his shirt around his neck as he cleared his throat.

“Supreme Leader. May I remind you that this meeting was supposed to begin 10 minutes ago?” Hux tried to scold the Supreme Leader, and the thought of him trying to lesson a man nearly twice his size, who was also his boss, who had wizard powers, for being late sounded hilarious.

“Hux. Always a pleasure to see you.” His distorted voice did not hide the sarcasm. “Don’t waste my time. Speak.”

“Why on the seven hells would you allow a prisoner into a quarter? Especially one placed at our high rank level.” He spoke, but not before giving you another look of disapproval.

“It is none of your concern. She works personally for me and my Knights. I’ll place her wherever I see fit.” 

Hux scoffed, propping his back against the chair. “She’s your new plaything then? I won’t allow a whore inside my ship.”

“Don’t you fucking dare call me that.” You protested, abruptly getting up from your chair. 

The General didn’t acknowledge you, keeping his stare at The Supreme Leader as you planned at least 15 different ways to murder Hux right then and there. 

“She will be of good use to us. Her weapons are like nothing I have ever seen.” 

“What’s so special about them?” Hux asked, scrunching his nose in disgust.

“I use widowmaker on the blade.” You replied plainly as your heart pounded in your chest.

Hux seemed unimpressed, merely acknowledging you before returning his attention back to the black mass in front of him. Even with the mask on, you could feel that the Supreme Leader was growing as annoyed as you were with that conversation.

“You have brought a witch into my ship, Ren.” He spit the word ‘witch’ with a ridiculous amount of hate, but you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

Being called a witch merely because you had a special gift brought you more pride than it should. It was more of a talent really. Not many people could do it, but you had years of study and practice until you learned how to properly make those weapons.

“And how am I supposed to believe she won’t betray the First Order?”

“It would be wise to not question my judgement and choice, General. She won’t betray me.” The Supreme Leader turned his head to you, the eyes under his mask glaring at you.

A chill ran down your spine as you heard him, the words echoing in your head. She won’t betray me. You didn’t think he actually believed that, because he could see into your mind if he wanted to. There was absolutely no way he wasn’t aware that if given the chance, you would run. 

Still, he didn’t add any words and the room fell silent. You were honestly surprised that he didn’t even try to look into your mind. Obviously, the Supreme Leader didn’t trust you just yet, and it would take an oddly long time to win that trust.

“At least you got yourself a pretty one. Perhaps I should take a quick trip to Corellia and find myself one.” Hux turned his head in your direction, looking at you from head to toe. Suddenly all the disgust on his face was replaced with pure lust.

You wanted to vomit.

“I’m not a fucking whore.” You spoke through gritted teeth, anger rising in your chest as you felt the heat on your skin getting warmer.

“Sure. And your weapons truly work, alright.”

“Shall we test the theory?”

Confusion was plastered over Hux’s face before his eyes widened, but it was too late. In a swift movement, you grabbed the small dagger you kept hidden in the waistband of your pants and thrusted the blade into his hand.

A guttural scream left his mouth as blood spilled from the wound, dark red spots filling that perfectly black polished table. You let go from the handle, keeping his hand stuck as he panicked, his agonized screams of pain like music to your ears.

“You bitch! ” He cursed, his face red from anger and his eyes filled with tears from the pain. You smiled wickedly at the sight.

Truth was, that dagger didn’t have any venom. But it was funny to picture Hux panicking and believing that death was coming for him, and soon. 

You groaned softly as you felt a familiar pressure around your skull, and immediately knew that it was the Supreme Leader. He knew that dagger didn’t have any venom, or else he would’ve probably killed you the second you stabbed Hux’s hand.

“I’ll have your head for this, witch !” 

“No, you won’t. I’ll punish her accordingly.”

The smile on your face fell. Punish ? What the fuck did he mean by that? The General was insulting you, doubting your skills and you were supposed to get punished for shutting him up? 

Kylo predicted your reaction, and before you could say a word, there was a force hold around your body, keeping you from moving. You growled, gritting your teeth as you stared daggers into the visor of his mask. With a twist of his fingers, the dagger was lifted from Hux’s hand and more blood spilled from the wound.

The blade was covered with his blood, drops spilling on the floor as the weapon flew into Kylo’s hand. The General let out an agonizing scream of pain, bringing his wounded hand towards his chest and using his other to stop the bleeding. 

His perfect clean uniform was now covered in his own blood, and the sight was fucking satisfying.

You could deal with insults, because you had heard them for as long as you could remember. They came from guys in your classes, professors and most people at your college. Almost everyone didn’t believe in you, didn’t think you would make it.

Although it hurt, all you wanted was to prove them wrong and you did. But when it came to your abilities and intelligence, that fucking hit where it truly hurts. You promised yourself you would never let anyone question your skills ever again, or worse, insult them. 

You were pretty fucking good at what you did, and were proud of it. Your eyes stung with what you knew were tears of hate, at the memories of everything you went through.

The force hold Kylo had on you faded away, and for a good second you just stood there, staring at him as Hux’s screams filled the room. Your mind began spinning again, and you felt yourself spiraling out of control.

Don’t lose control, not now. If you lost control, they would know. They would all know what happens when anger rises in your core and explodes like a volcano, what happens when all the control and sanity you have left leaves your body.

When what’s left of humanity in you just turns to ashes. You couldn’t bring yourself to lose that, it would kill you.

Kylo Ren easily recognized the look in your eyes, because he had seen that same very look on his face many times in the past. It felt too familiar, and for a moment he found himself having a hard time controlling the situation.

Whenever he had that same look in his eyes, Kylo knew that hardly anything would break the feeling. It took him many years of practice to learn how to control the sensation that would most times easily consume him and make him feel .

He was convinced that it made him weaker. To be vulnerable, to have his walls down even when he was the only person in the room. Kylo would rather fill his thoughts with emptiness and rage.

He would much rather kill something than to have that look in his face. It brought too much pain.

And then he saw it in your eyes. He saw it: you were lost. Kylo felt the fear, the emptiness, the uncontrollable urge that you felt to just disappear and crumble into a hole of nothing until the feeling went away. 

Then, the rage.

Tears of hate stung the corners of your eyes as the memories began to pile up, overwhelming you in a split second. For a moment, everything around you stopped - time froze. And you did the only thing you knew: you ran.

Unfortunately for you, Kylo didn’t let you get too far, just enough so that you were both away from Hux’s office. You didn’t need to turn around to know that he was standing right behind you. The heavy thud of his boots against the ground gave away that he had followed you. 

A shaky breath fell through your lips, and although both of you were silent, it was too fucking loud inside your mind.

Swallowing hard, you faced the Supreme Leader, being met with his mask staring down at you. His chest rose and fell with each breath, and you mentally prepared yourself for whatever he had in store for you after stabbing a superior officer. Even worse, the General.

“Has no one taught you about respecting your superiors, little witch?” He taunted, his robotic voice empty of any emotion.

“Fuck you.” You spat, too filled with different emotions to care about the way you were speaking to the Supreme Leader.

With a single large step, Kylo Ren stood a few inches away from you, forcing your body to walk backwards until you were met with a thick wall. It was hard to not be intimidated by his figure, the man was nearly twice your size. 

“I won’t warn you again.” He took another stop, caging you in. “Unless you-”

You were quick to interrupt him, scoffing. “Unless what? You’re gonna kill me?” You lifted your chin, defiance in your eyes. “Go ahead, Supreme di’kutla. Kill me. Snap my neck and end this right now.” 

An humorless chuckle came from behind the mask and his reaction only fueled your anger. With a quick glance of your eyes, you found your dagger attached to his holster, right beside his lightsaber.

If only you could reach for it, all you needed was a few seconds and his body a little bit closer. It would be just so easy to grab your weapon and shove the blade into his abdomen. Very fucking easy. 

The chances were low, though. Kylo Ren had weird wizard powers, and perhaps you would risk having your head ripped from your body if you tried attacking him. But instinctively, your hand began to move, almost preparing itself for the probably dumbest decision of your life.

“Killing you would be far too kind. Too easy, I’m afraid.” He paused, and you took the opportunity to take a step closer to him. Except that Kylo didn’t move an inch, and the warmth of his body began to grow stronger the closer you got. 

“You can’t do it. Fucking coward.” You provoked, anger rising to your core. 

You gritted your teeth as you dug your fingernails into your palm, sweat sliding down the back of your neck. Not once your gaze left the visor of his mask, somehow subconsciously hoping that would intimidate him in some way. 

Perhaps, deep down, you wanted him to kill you. And you felt sick to your stomach that you would rather die than run for your life. 

A shitty, dangerous life. A life of nightmares, of killing, of rage and emptiness. A life with absolutely no hope. Maybe that’s why you wanted to die in the first place. It would be just easy to be over with everything. The afterlife was probably more peaceful than anything you ever experienced while alive. 

“Why just kill you when I could torture you first?” This time, you were surprised at his response. And now it was your turn to step backwards as he forced more proximity between your bodies. “Slowly, painfully and in the worst ways your pretty little head can possibly imagine. Until I force you into submission.”

The thought terrified you to your core. A shiver ran down your spine at the image of Kylo Ren torturing you like the man from your nightmares had done. Suddenly, you felt very small.

You wouldn’t survive that again.

“I’d rather starve to death before submitting to you or anyone else.” 

He chuckled. “The little kitten has claws. Unfortunately for you, I don’t mind a couple scratches.”

“What about the blade of my dagger instead of claws?” You raised an eyebrow, giving him a deadly stare.

Kylo was enjoying your little outburst more than he should. It was entertaining to see someone standing up to him, defying him, when no one else had an ounce of courage to do it. As infuriating as it was, he had no desire to kill you.

If anyone had talked to Kylo the way you did, that person would already be long gone. But then you came. And he didn’t fully understand what was happening with him, except for the wicked, twisted and violent desires he had to force you to see who you really were.

He had seen who he was a long time ago, and came to terms with it. And he wanted - no, he had to make you see it too. See who you were destined to become. Who you were always meant to be, you just didn’t want to accept it in your soul. 

“Violence is my specialty, little witch. I believed that was already established.” His response was, from all things, very unexpected. “Would you like me to remind you of that?”

For a moment you just stayed silent. It was pointless to put up a fight with the Supreme Leader. Because the ending would always be the same, although you weren’t sure why it wasn’t with you dead. 

Being captured by him was the last of your wishes. The only thing you ever craved for your entire life was for peace and freedom. You longed for the day you’d finally free yourself from the web of killing and nightmares that you got yourself into.

And after being taken, that day seemed like a child’s fantasy. A fantasy you’d dream of every night, that would break you little by little. Until there would be nothing left for you to do, but merely exist .

He destroyed everything. And you hated him for it. 

“You already took me. You won’t take my respect away too.” 

“You know I can take whatever I want.”

“You don’t deserve my respect.” You bit back, raising your voice at him.

“I’ve spared your useless, pathetic life. Remember that.”

You breathed, blinking away the hate in your eyes as your chin trembled. “Sparing my life was precisely the worst decision you have ever made, Supreme Leader. And I’ll make sure you know it.”

“It is not wise to threaten me. I’ll remember it.” 

It was your turn to chuckle, as you pictured different ways of torturing the Supreme Buckethead. 

“Good. Remember this moment when I torture you in the most agonizing and painful ways I know.”

“We’re not that different, little witch. You just don’t want to see it.” He waited for a comeback, but it never came. “Yet.”

The intensity of his gaze even behind the mask was absolutely horrifying, and your palms became sweaty as you found yourself desperate to create distance between your bodies.

Kylo Ren’s presence could be described in many different words, but ‘intense’ was one of the first that came to mind. Whenever he came around, the sensation you had was that he had sucked the entire energy and oxygen - he radiated a raw, strong energy that could be felt miles away.

Somehow you always knew when he was around, because the hair in the back of your neck would tingle, your heart would increase its rhythm and nervousness would pool at the pit of your stomach. 

The weight of his words sank on you as he finally backed away, giving you space to release a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. 

Kylo Ren didn’t protest as you walked into the corridor, still facing him as you did.

“The dagger didn’t have any venom in it. Hux will live.” You paused. “Unfortunately.”

Kylo Ren didn’t show any reaction to your words. Deep down, he was surprised, and wasn’t sure if you knew that blade didn’t have any venom or if you were just lucky. Either way, he couldn’t deny how aroused he had gotten at seeing you that feral. 

His little witch, his new most prized possession, was a feisty one. That minor attack against Hux was a beginning, and it only encouraged Kylo even more to push you into your darkness. 

As much as you didn’t want to admit, and it nearly killed you to do so, Kylo Ren was right. You were like him, in some ways. There was too much hate and darkness, the more you kept that in the worse it got with time, until the moment you reach a limit point.

The problem was, you could never reach that limit point, because it frightened you more than anything to see yourself that way. Like a monster.

Monsters did exist. And Kylo Ren wasn’t the first you had met. There were worse monsters out there. 

Like Ren.

Chapter Text

It was difficult keeping your stern look as you walked into the laboratory that the Supreme Leader had ready for your use. The equipment was far more expensive than the ones you previously owned, that were now probably covered in dust and dirt at your now abandoned workplace. 

Abandoned . The word made your heart ache despite the shiny new toys displayed in front of you. Of course, they probably worked better and faster than your old material, but the ones at your own laboratory had been part of your story. Part of you.

Most of the things you had built yourself - using scraps of metal, glass, and other things you’d find abandoned, no longer useful to their previous owner. But to you, they were gold. After a while it became easy to learn your way through your own stuff, though the fancy equipment would more often than not catch your eye when you walked through stores.

Although you were used to your things, you couldn’t exactly ignore the spark of excitement that ran through you as your eyes wandered through your new laboratory. This was your passion, your work - what you lived for. If you could, you’d spend your entire day locked in your workplace because you simply loved what you did.

It flowed easily for you - like that’s what you were born to do. When you worked, time didn’t exist and your thoughts, that were often loud and disturbing, didn’t haunt you anymore, the voices would finally shut up and leave you alone, even if for only a moment. Not even in your sleep they would be quiet. The voices, the faces, the nightmares - all gone when you focused on your work, your passion.

Maybe if you kept your head into your work, you’d forget for a few hours that you were a prisoner, with no free will. That the thing you most valued and cherished had been taken away from you, not long after you had just freed yourself and gained your life back. But then, you looked around you - the room was dark, high walls and only a weak lamp at the top of the ceiling - and it felt like a kriffing prison.

Plus, it was very difficult to at least pretend you weren’t locked inside a shuttle as a prisoner when there was a 6’4 foot Knight guarding the doors, with a deadly weapon in his hands and his stance completely still except for the rise and fall of his chest. Since the moment you had walked into the laboratory he - or it? - hadn’t said a single word. Or moved a muscle. The masked creature was almost camouflaged into the walls, the shade of his dark armour matching the colour of the surface behind him.

The lamp that illuminated the table barely radiated beyond a couple feet far from it, and you were only able to see clearly the tip of his boot. His back was leaned against the thick wall, but you could feel he was alert, paying attention to your every move although anyone else would’ve thought he was relaxed. It only infuriated you more, and the weapon that was leaned against his shoulders didn’t make you feel better at all. The grip of his gloved hand around the handle was so tight that not only the leather creaked, but at a certain point you thought he’d eventually break his knuckles with the strength he was using.

Even if covered by darkness, you could still make out a few details of his mask - gridded and grey, the front of it more visible due to its colour - and you remembered him from Gina’s cantina. He had been one of the Knights to approach your table, along with another one that had been with the Supreme Leader at your cell. But this one wasn’t.

You easily recognised the weapon, too - a scythe, with a very sharp blade. By the looks of it, you guessed it was probably made out of phrik, but only a close up look would tell.

The distorted, modulated voice behind the mask caught you by surprise, the deepness of his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

“I don’t have all day. Hurry up.”

It sounded more like an order than a request, but by now you had already noticed these men didn’ ask or request for anything. They ordered, commanded and would do anything in their power to get whatever they wanted, especially if it involved violence. The more you thought about it, the more you realised that you did the same thing and it made your stomach twist.

No. Kylo Ren was wrong - they were monsters, and you were nothing like them. But when you really  thought about it, you knew deep down that wasn’t true. It was better just to not think about it and shove the self doubts into the back of your mind, keeping them locked in there.

“Leave, then.” You spoke under your breath, between gritted teeth as you forced yourself to avoid a fight with a Knight of Ren that was twice your size. He was silent while you began to organise the equipment, then proceeded to separate the flowers from their stems.

For a moment you forgot he was there, only to be reminded of his inconvenient presence when he spoke again. “It appears you need a little reminder that you’re not the one in charge here. I am.”

I am in charge here . The sentence ringed in your head for a solid second before you brought yourself back to reality - this Knight wasn’t him . Most of the memories were just a fog, a glimpse of his face and the things he did, but it was too hard to remember, like there were empty spaces between the images and you couldn’t piece them together. But you’d recognise his face forever - it’d be imprinted on your mind for the rest of your life.

He's gone , you reminded yourself and brought the attention back to the Knight who antagonised you, that was in the same position as before. “I don’t think it is wise to threaten someone who has, let me see,” you counted out loud the daggers splattered across the table, pointing at each one you saw, “Eight blades and poisonous flowers at my disposal.”

A humourless chuckle came from behind the mask, turning your annoyance into a growing anger. “I don’t need a single weapon to kill you, sweet thing.” There was a pause, and you stared into the visor of his mask. “My hands would be enough.”

“I sent one of you to the Medbay because of a single scratch, Wampa .” You said, satisfied with your new nickname for that giant Knight. “What makes you think I can’t send you to your grave?”

The more you both spoke, the more you wanted to rip his head off to shut him up and leave you alone. Your workspace was supposed to be peaceful , yet he was turning it into an annoyance, which was getting your anger to rise more with every kriffing word he said. Even the sound of his breath seemed like a way of taunting you. It would be more beneficial for the both of you if the conversation ended.

The Knight didn’t really seem interested in ending it though, much to your displease.

“Kuruk should be discharged tonight. I’d keep my distance from him if I were you, sweet thing.” Surprisingly, he looked more relaxed than he did when you first arrived at the laboratory. However, what was more surprising was that although the conversation had been filled with death threats, your body wasn’t as tense as it was at first.

Kuruk. Apparently that was the name of the Knight you sent to the Medbay instead of the grave, thanks to his thick clothing. Technically, it was his own fault because if he hadn’t tackled you to the ground and tried to immobilise you there would be no need for you to use your dagger in the first place. Nevertheless, you did hurt him badly and maybe he had his reasons to seek your death.

“Kuruk,” you repeated in a low voice, like you had said that name before but never in your life heard it - or at least didn’t remember hearing it. It was a very unique name to be forgotten , you thought. “If he comes within five feet away from me, I’ll just stab him again, Wampa.”

The Knight hummed at your reply, finally changing his position - instead of holding his scythe across his shoulders, he leaned it against the wall right beside him, close enough so he could reach it in case he needed it and folded his arms around his chest. Clearly, you were no threat to him, or so he thought. Unfortunately you weren’t in the mood of killing anybody, especially a Knight of Ren. It would be very messy and just too much work for you.

Still, the idea was there and it wouldn’t be gone anytime soon.

“You’re a feisty one, huh?”

“So I’ve been told.”

The words came out of your mouth with an emotionless tone, while you put on your gloves and smashed the flowers into a container, extracting the venom from the pedicels before discarding the petals into a glass bowl. It wasn’t the first time someone had called you feisty , quite the opposite, actually.

Although you never really understood why, since most times you’d been called that after expressing any negative emotion or opinion towards anyone - especially men. And there was that voice, that wicked, cruel and rough voice that called you feisty over and over again, the voice that belonged to the man who still haunted you and didn’t leave you the fuck alone.

The thoughts vanished as easily as they appeared. It didn’t feel better, but as much as you loathed the Knight in front of you, the tone he used wasn’t the one you expected. He wasn’t trying to tease or taunt, he had used that tone with you earlier in your conversation. Obviously, there wasn’t an ounce of empathy or sympathy between you both, which made the situation even stranger, but you weren’t going to complain.

For a while, the Knight was quiet again while you worked on getting the venom inside the dagger. It was a particularly difficult process, but after a couple years you had mastered it and now it was as easy as smashing the flowers. The hardest part was sticking the syringe inside the tiny hole you made into the handle that connected it to the blade through a metal tube. Once the needle was in, all you had to do was press the liquid into the handle, and done.

At the end of the process you’d always leave just a little bit of venom in the syringe and apply it on your thigh, so your body would get used to it and create resistance in case you got stabbed or accidentally hurt yourself. But with the Wampa right in front of you, It’d raise a lot of questions and that was the last thing you wanted.

Just one day won’t make a difference, you thought. As long as they didn’t know, it was fine.

“I’m done. Am I free to go?” You sighed while cleaning your materials and organising them the way you preferred.

“Not so fast, sweet thing.”

“ Stop. calling me. that.”

“It suits you.”

In a swift movement, you grabbed the nearest dagger you could reach and tossed it in his direction, missing his head by an inch - purposely. The blade stuck into the wall, the handle almost grazing against his helmet. The Knight didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even reach for his scythe - he simply grabbed the dagger and pulled it out of the wall, twirling the weapon between his fingers as he examined it carefully. It was more terrifying not knowing what his reaction would be than having him immediately using his wizard powers to hurt you, which was what you expected.

“You missed it.” He stated simply as he got his back off the wall and stood straight, taking one single, slow step into the illuminated area of the room.

“Exactly.” You said, watching with careful eyes as he took more steps towards the table, still holding the dagger in his hands. “I believe that proves my point.”

“You don’t fear for your life, do you?” He asked, the table being the only barrier between you and him. The Knight lowered his hand and placed the dagger on the table, then leaned both of his gloved hands against the cold surface, the lamp that hung on the ceiling illuminating him completely now.

The clothing he wore was all black and dark grey, and the coat he used was apparently made out of skin of a reptilian creature, you couldn’t tell which one. Although you weren’t able to see his eyes, you could feel that his gaze was burning into your own, like he was trying to read your thoughts but you didn’t feel that agonising, burning sensation around your skull. It made you deeply uncomfortable, but you didn’t dare to look away.

“If you wanted to kill me I’d already be dead.”

It was true. If you were alive until this very moment, he didn’t want to kill you - or maybe couldn’t. The desire to do it could be there, after all, it was there for you. 

There was a moment of silence, and then he retrieved a datapad from inside his coat and began to type something in it before putting it away.

“Master Ren will be aware of this.” He said before turning on his back, walking towards the place he stood minutes ago.

“ What ?”

Sender: Vicrul 

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1435 HOURS

Master Ren. The girl is working just fine for now. I will send you updates if needed.

—----------------------

Sender: Vicrul

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1545 HOURS

Master Ren. She threw a dagger at me. It hit the wall and she said it was on purpose. So far she has threatened to kill me twice.

—----------------------

Sender: Vicrul

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1600 HOURS

Master Ren. #@$JJFCGYUI)*_*&76

—----------------------

Sender: Vicrul

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1610 HOURS

My apologies, Master. She threw a test tube at me and tried to take my datapad to break it. When are you returning to the Finalizer?

—----------------------

Sender: Vicrul

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1700 HOURS

master ren. i am no longer needed here because she is behaving like i asked her to. please send me away to do my knightly chores.

• vicrul

—----------------------

Sender: Vicrul

Receiver: Supreme Leader

Coordinates: 1769.8A 2548.9L

Device 234

1710 HOURS

Master Ren. This last message was from her. She tricked me by begging me to play on my datapad. It won’t happen again. Just- hurry up. Please.

At first, the Supreme Leader was getting annoyed with the amount of notifications he was receiving - that was until he saw who they were from and the content in them. A small smirk grew on his lips as he pictured his little witch turning Vicrul’s day into a hell, which was what he predicted, although it took longer than he thought it would.

Leaving you on your own was a risk he wasn’t willing to take, especially when he suspected that you could be force sensitive, even though he didn’t feel your force signature.

So, leaving you with Vicrul was the only rational decision. And he knew you wouldn’t enjoy it, which made the situation much more interesting to him. He was very much aware he would return to the Finalizer to a furious, impatient, little thing, and part of him was actually glad for it. Your attitude was one of the few things that excited the Supreme Leader, the fire in your eyes and the sharpness of your tongue were enough to drive him mad with lust.

One of the few feelings that followed his desire and lust was the anger. More often than not, Kylo would relieve his tension through sexual ways, and unleash all the pent up anger and tension he had pooling inside him - being the Supreme Leader of the First Order could be quite frustrating most of the time. That’s why he frequently made appearances at Canto Bight’s brothel.

Until you. During his mission to Kijimi, he had decided to stop by at Cantonica and pay a little visit to the brothel. Much to his frustration, Kylo could only picture your face the entire time - he kept thinking about the sounds you’d made, if you’d put up a fight and act like a brat, or if you’d try to take control back. He projected with his mind how beautifully submissive you would look on your knees for him, eager and ready to please, picturing your face until he came with a loud groan. 

The fantasy was quickly shattered when he saw the prostitute’s face covered with his cum - not yours - and that pent up anger was there again, in a matter of seconds.

The Supreme Leader felt his mind spiralling out of control - and he couldn’t lose control, that was something he didn’t allow himself to do. Kylo always controlled all around him, always got whatever he wanted - except for you and your apparently impossible submission. Obsession wasn’t something he was used to feeling, but it was beginning to consume most of his thoughts most of the time, which was getting in the way of his concentration. He couldn’t have that, no. 

With that in mind, he was determined to do anything in his power to cease that feeling and get your submission. The Supreme Leader didn’t ask for things. He took them, whatever it would cost him - and he wanted to take you . Force you to see who you truly were and that there was only one place in this galaxy that you belonged: with him.

It didn’t matter how long it would take, he would get what belonged to him.

As he strode through the corridors of the Finalizer, officers lowered their heads and offered pathetic gestures in an attempt to greet their Supreme Leader respectfully. It was undeniable that Kylo enjoyed the feeling of knowing the fear he caused whenever he walked through the shuttle. His dark cloak swirled around his ankles and his boots sounded alarmingly loud against the ground as he made his way to the laboratory, eager to see how his little witch had been doing without his presence.

The moment he left the elevator, Kylo could already hear your loud voice, yelling curses at Vicrul. He could almost hear the sigh of relief that came from his Knight when he reached out to him through the force, letting him know he had arrived. The doors whooshed open, and a very rushed Vicrul emerged from the room, quickly closing the doors before the little witch could protest.

“How is she doing?” He asked, although he did have an idea of how you were.

Vicrul was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right word to describe the state you were in for the past few hours.

“Agitated, Master.” He replied, nervously swaying on his feet as he feared the reaction of his Master. “But I suppose that’s an expected reaction, seeing as she has been quite literally kidnapped.”

Both men could still hear your muffled complaints and curses from behind the doors, and Kylo couldn't keep the smirk from growing on his face. Only when you began to throw your fists against the walls and quite literally punch them that he decided to finally join you.

“I’ll have a word with her.”

Vicrul assented with his head, relief washing over him as he finally had time for himself and his duties, then left you and Kylo alone. The broad figure stood in front of you, covered in those dark robes and stupid mask, his cloak swirling around his boots in a dramatic way as usual. You huffed at the sight of him, marching towards where he was standing and staring daggers at where you figured his eyes were.

“Fucking finally !” You exclaimed, your anger rising at the lack of reaction from him. “I’m not an animal that needs to be locked up.”

The Supreme Buckethead just stood there, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took, and though there was enough distance between you both, you could still feel the energy coming from his body - strong and thick enough to be cut. Whenever he was around, you’d feel his presence even if you had your eyes closed: you just knew he was close, watching, like a predator waiting to hunt its prey.

His silence terrified you more than anything, more than his powers.

A shiver ran down your spine at the sound of his robotic, deep and twisted voice that came from behind the mask that hid any kind of emotion.

“All you have to do is ask, little witch.”

A loud snort came from you, not actually believing he was being serious. The Supreme Leader, saying that you just need to ask ? Maybe you had died that night at the forest and this was all a hallucination, that was the only plausible explanation.

But then he was silent for a solid minute, waiting for a response that for the first time wasn’t at the tip of your tongue.

“ What ?” 

“Ask me, little witch. Show me how badly you wish to leave this room, and maybe I’ll consider your request.”

Your face fell and you stared at him in complete disbelief. He hadn’t allowed his Knight to leave you on your own, and then when you thought you were finally free from that dark room, he showed up with all that attitude. 

This asshole, I swear to the Gods, you thought.

“Cursing me will only make this worse for you.” His tone was louder, like a warning. It made your insides twist in agony. 

The words “fuck you” were ready to come out of your mouth, but then you had a better thought. If you wanted to eventually find a way out of there, then you’d need to win at least some of his trust, and as difficult as it would be, you had to try. That meant behaving , something very hard for you, especially with him and his pack of Knights.

Swallowing your pride, you looked down at your feet and sighed, fidgeting with your fingers as you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. This was harder than you previously thought.

“Please. May I leave this room?” Your voice was nearly above a whisper, and he didn’t seem very pleased with your answer because he reached out a gloved hand and your chin was forced to tilt up, your gaze meeting the emptiness of his mask.

“Look at me when you address me. Understood?”

Forcing your chin down wasn't helpful and you decided to stop fighting against the force that held your head in place, gritting your teeth and digging your nails into your palm to feel anything that wasn’t anger.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” You paused, considering that maybe a different approach would become your ally. “Please, may I leave this room? I-I need more light.”

Kylo actually seemed surprised at your answer, yet satisfied because the force that held your chin up was completely gone, but you kept your eyes on him and even dared to step closer while letting your gaze fall from his mask to his boots. You allowed yourself to look at him, slowly, waiting for him to stop you or force you to stare into the visor again, but, surprisingly, he didn’t.

With your heart pounding into your chest, you challenged him by taking another step into his direction, all while keeping your eyes on him, not blinking once. The masked creature didn’t move a single inch, but through the modulator of his mask you could hear that his breath was deeper, heavier - but then it was normal again, as if his act had fallen for a split of second, like what you heard was a crack of his own mask.

It was a risky move what you were doing, but it looked like he was believing you and your sweet, big eyes while you batted your lashes at him, silently begging for permission that he, after a moment of silence, granted. With a nod of his head, he finally moved, allowing you to walk past him and into the shiny corridor. He had barely moved, and the closeness of his body to yours forced you to slightly graze your shoulder against his arm, but it didn’t seem to bother the Supreme Leader at all.

Although this was an act, there was partially some truth: you didn’t like to stay in a dimly lit place for too long. It reminded you of Ren and the things he did to you - the ones you could remember. Sometimes the memories came in flashes, and there were too many gaps, like the images had faded and were in a blur, unable to be reached or remembered. It was one of the most agonising feelings.

The masked creature followed you closely, the distance between his chest and your back getting smaller, until you stopped walking and without facing him, whispered a question that had been lingering on your mind since the day he had captured you.

“Dikar Werwo.” That seemed to have caught his attention, because the sound of his steps came to a halt. “Why were you after him?”

For a moment, you didn’t think that Kylo would acknowledge your question or even reply to you because he was silent, debating whether or not he should tell you. A portion of you already knew the answer, but you wished you were wrong, because if his answer was what you thought, then you weren’t as careful as you had imagined. 

“He had intel about the poisonous weapons. Your poisonous weapons.”

Hm. Interesting, but you needed more information than that.

“Ok. How did you know that?”

“My Knights had been following him for a while.”

You weren’t stupid. They would’ve never gotten to Dikar if it wasn’t for you, and his Knights wouldn’t have started to follow him out of nowhere. There was another reason, and you were aching to ask, even though it was most likely that Kylo would shut you down for asking too many questions. With a deep breath, you pivoted and caught him by surprise, your face almost brushing against his chest. It wasn’t until you faced him that you noticed how close he had been to you this whole time, and the closeness of your bodies made you swallow hard. You stared into his chest before lifting your head up, only to find out that his mask was already tilted downwards, facing you with an intensity that made the knot in your stomach get tighter.

“Why were your Knights following him anyway? That man was nothing but scum.”

The repulse you felt for that man could never be put into words. That’s how you felt about nearly all of the men you had killed in your life - they disgusted you. Almost all of your killings had been for the same reason: they were monsters. You easily recognised one after your little time with Ren.

“Is that why you killed him? Because you knew he had given away intel about you?”

“What?” You breathed, mostly to yourself. You had no idea Dikar had snitched on you. There was a pause before you asked again, “why were your Knights following him in the first place? I know it’s not because of the weapons. That was just luck.”

He was still silent and you decided to give him a piece of information, in hopes that he would tell you the truth. “I,” you looked down at your feet, trying to forget the image you had seen the night you killed Dikar. It was fucking disgusting, he was repulsive. “I killed him because he was selling girls to other planets in the Outer Rim. I’m glad I killed him and I’d do it again if I had the chance.”

Again, there was another moment of silence between you two as Kylo processed what you just had said. It was impossible to know whatever was going through that creature’s mind, and you often wondered if he actually listened to you. Truly listened.

He was uncomfortably closer to you, a few more inches would be enough for his chest to touch your chin and he towered even more over you the more he closed the gap between your bodies

“There’s an ancient artefact.” The voice modulator of his mask never failed to send a trail of shivers from the nape of your neck down to your toes. “Dikar had intel about it. That’s why my Knights had been following him.”

Oh. Interesting. “It must be a valuable artefact for you, then. Why do you need it anyways?” Curiosity was getting the best out of you and Kylo considered your question for a couple seconds, until he replied.

“Its full properties are unknown. But it can be used to augment a force user’s powers, and they can also power certain weapons. In battle, they can be very useful.” 

You fell silent, because you had heard those same very words before, but the voice who had said it was different, colder and more cruel, rougher. The pounding in your chest began to grow, like thousands of drums being played at the same time inside your body. Sweat began to pool under your neck, and the memories rose, those forgotten flashes reminding you of memories you wished you could bury, like the bodies you had killed.

The bodies that were laid under the ground, rotten, being eaten by different bacterias and insects, turned into nothing but a pile of bones and dirt. That’s what you tried to do with the memories of Ren, of you . Or at least of the parts of you that were already rotten and filled with untamable darkness.

“It’s a Force Crystal.” You spoke in unison, except that your voice was barely above a whisper, and his own had turned into the voice that haunted you even in your sleep.

The masked creature morphed into something far more terrifying, and suddenly the corridor you were both in felt too small, the walls closing around you until there would be no space left for you to run. Panic flooded your vision, your mind and all your senses, the breathing that was once controlled now rapid and shallow, like your lungs gasped for air that wasn’t available. Like you were drowning with no water - that feeling had become too familiar over the years.

Fear froze you in place - your feet wouldn’t move, your eyes didn’t dare to look away and your heart was at the verge of exploding out of your chest. When you finally managed to take one step back, the dark mass tried to reach you again and your instincts snapped, as if a string was being pulled from both sides and finally gave in to the pressure.

All you saw was your nightmare when you reacted, in an attempt to protect yourself from the man that had ruined your life, that had ruined everything . Anger rose in your chest and you didn’t blink or think before acting - you just did it. Like a child that suddenly had gathered courage to look under their bed for monsters, you found that same courage within your lost child and reached your hand forward, grabbing the hilt of the lightsaber placed on the creature’s belt clip, at the height of his hips.

Then, before you could pull it from under his cloak, a gloved hand wrapped itself around your wrist, a grip tight enough to bruise your skin. A whimper fell from your lips at the same time that a growl came from under the mask and your illusion shattered into millions of pieces, the clouded vision in your head finally being cleared from the fog made out of nightmares and fears. 

Ren was gone the second you felt the leather material around your wrist and the sound of his modulator behind the mask. There was only you and the masked creature, in the same corridor you were minutes ago, in the same ship you were being held captive. The face of your nightmare wasn’t there. He was never there. Even after you left, he was still with you all the time, never leaving you alone, never giving you peace even in your sleep. He had hunted you, and when he could no longer do that, he began to haunt you. 

The Supreme Leader didn’t let go from your wrist, but only increased the strength of his grip around it when he saw the panic in your eyes. You tried to break free from his hold, pulling your wrist towards your body but it was completely useless against his force - that kept pulling you forward into his direction. Even though you couldn’t see his eyes, through the visor of his mask you knew they were staring daggers at you.

You could hear the heaviness of his breath, feel the anger rising in him and see how uneven his chest rose and fell each time he breathed. If he wasn’t going to kill you before, he was now, and it was all your fault. Your fault for letting a nightmare control you and take over your mind in moments of vulnerability, for allowing him to get inside your head so easily. That agonising feeling began to grow in your chest again, spreading through your body like an uncontrollable fire - unstoppable.

The loss of control reached the edge of the cliff, and you held onto it, forcing yourself up to stop your mind from falling into the trap that Ren had set inside it.

I’m okay. He’s gone. I’m in control. I am.

“ Stupid girl.” He used the grip around your wrist to pull you even closer, and you were forced to look up to be able to see his mask, your chin almost brushing against the material of his tunic. 

“That was a very brave move coming from you, little girl. Yet dumb nonetheless.” The grip around your wrist grew tighter with each word, and your neck began to burn in pain from having to look up.

You growled, still unable to free yourself from his deathly hold, still trying to keep yourself at the edge and not unleash the beast caged inside you. Still holding on to the little humanity left in you.

“Let go and submit. ” He ordered, that familiar pain around your skull starting to build, little by little.  

You groaned in pain, not looking away from the visor of his mask once.

“I’d rather die .”

The masked creature hummed, slightly bending over to let the cold material of his mask graze against the skin of your cheek, causing you to let out a surprised gasp from the proximity. With the modulator and the closeness to your ear, the words came from him even more terrifying and threatening, making your entire body freeze in fear.

“My patience has ended, little witch.” He paused, and you didn’t dare to say a word. “If you won’t do it the easy way,” he was silent again, then his gloved hand that wasn’t around your wrist hovered over your face and you knew what was coming.

“Then I will have to force you into submission.”

Before you could protest or have any reaction, darkness enveloped you and the last thing you saw was his mask, staring at you. The last thing you felt was his arms catching your body before you hit the ground and the fear of what he had planned for you.

Chapter Text

There were many things that Ren had done to you. Most of them you desperately tried to forget, the other part of the memories just portions of flashes and gaps, which at the same time that was agonising it was also relieving. Not remembering things was stressful, but depending on what those memories consisted of, you’d rather just keep them forgotten. 

The few images you had came back to you each time the Supreme Leader brought you back from the forced sleep, only then to bring you into full darkness again. Every limb of your body was frozen, and as much as you tried to move, it was useless - he had you exactly where he wanted and how he wanted.

Distorted voices kept bringing your attention to the dark masses in front of you, masks covering their faces and deadly weapons in their hands. There were four this time, plus Kylo, and you easily recognized two of them by their weapons - the third and fourth you briefly remembered from Gina’s Cantina, but had never interacted with.

They kept asking questions, repeating them over and over like an alarm had been set in your mind and kept ringing, but you could barely hear any words except for “Force Crystal”, “Submit” and sometimes “Little witch”. The voices morphed into each other in your mind, creating a disturbing melody that caused you to squeeze your eyes shut, which was the only movement you could do, and groan in discomfort.

Sweat pooled in your forehead and in the back of your neck, your eyes growing heavy with exhaustion until you were at the edge of giving up. It felt like Kylo was bringing you near the madness just to pull you back again, repeating that cycle in order to tire you until you’d give him what he wanted - except you’d rather die before giving him anything .

A gloved hand fisted your hair by the back of your head, forcing you to stare into the cold, emotionless mask that stood above you. When you tried to dart your gaze towards the empty ceiling above him, the grip tightened and forced a painful wince out of your lips. Even with the dim light and blurred vision, you’d easily recognize Kylo’s mask anywhere. That was certainly an image you’d like to eventually forget. 

“Ready to give up, little witch?” He taunted, yet you could feel in your bones that he was beginning to lose his patience.

It was a bigger struggle than you thought it would be to get the words out of your mouth. “Already tired, Wampa?” You finally replied between elaborated breaths. “I thought we were just getting started.” 

With that, he didn’t release you from his grip and used his free hand to hold your chin, digging his leather gloved fingers into your jaw until it began to twitch in pain. You let out a growl from the feeling, tears filling the corners of your eyes from the burning ache that was spreading through your entire face. 

“How did you know about the crystal?” He had asked that question a couple times already, and your answer was the same every time : I don’t know.

Because you, in fact, didn’t remember. When Kylo first mentioned it to you, the word triggered a memory, but with no images - just a voice, which belonged to the man who turned into your personal nightmare. The monster that you thought only existed in children’s fantasies, until you found out that wasn’t true and monsters did exist. 

The Supreme Leader wasn’t satisfied with your answer, unfortunately. He was convinced you were lying and it appeared that nothing would change his mind, especially after you tried to grab his weapon from him - which was another thing that would be very hard to explain, and he didn’t seem to be in the mood for listening. 

Things weren’t going exactly like you had planned. But when did they go that way, right?

Your body was beginning to betray you and on the edge of giving up, while your mind kept being brought to life just to be put asleep again, the images around you turning into nothing but pure darkness. And then the first thing your eyes saw every time Kylo forced you to wake up again was the empty visor of his mask, nothing but an endless dark behind it. Nothing but pure evil.

Everything was sore, except no one had laid a hand on you. There were no punches, no throwing around - but every inch of your body was in agonising pain, your arms and legs burned from the useless tries of moving around and your head pounded more each time it was awake again. A painful scream ripped from your throat as the masked creature in front of you forced his way into your mind again, the ringing in your ear, the scream and cries mixing with the dark chuckles around you.

The twisted, robotic voice that came from behind the mask began to fade away and you could only make up a word here and there. He repeated the question, this time grippin the back of your hair and forcing your eyes to once again meet the coldness of his darkness, which made you let out an agonised cry.

“Aw, does it hurt?” He taunted, though he knew the answer already. “ Good.”

There was no strength left in you to fight back and you began to hate yourself for it. This evil, cruel monster was bringing you to your limit, and you found yourself considering death. Not that you hadn’t considered before, especially during your time with Ren - the thought would cross your mind at least once or twice a day, at the point where you once almost took your dagger and ended it all. Ren had arrived just in time to save your life. Save. He kept you alive just to kill you again - to kill your mind and essence. Ever since then, you have never felt alive.

Maybe you should’ve used that dagger when you had the chance.

The grip on the back of your head was suddenly gone and it fell limply with no support. You were grateful for the strands of hair that covered your face and hid the monstrous creature in front of you from your sight. Once again, the dark and the cold blinded your senses and your mind was gone into a room of pitch black - absolutely no light.

Then, it was a complete silence. At first you thought death had graced you with a kiss and you were finally at peace, but your body still ached, your mind felt heavy and crushed, the bones under your skin burning in excruciating pain. If this was death, it wasn’t much better than life.

Silence was broken when the sound of the dark chuckles came back to life, growing louder until they became twisted, echoing in the back of your head until they morphed into one single voice - the one voice that sent chills down your spine and made you freeze in panic. With the remaining strength you still had, you straightened up your neck and finally looked up with heavy eyes, your vision still blurred and slowly adapting itself to the dim light that hung above you.

When the blur was gone, your confusion was quickly replaced with horror. This wasn’t the dark mass that was in front of you minutes ago - it was much worse. The sight sent a cold wave through your body and your eyes widened in fear of him, of what he would do to you. His grey mask covered the entirety of his identity, with a number of red markings at the centre that you often wondered what it could possibly mean.

The toned torso was clothless, marked with several bruises and scars that would go from old stab wounds to burnt skin. That same old glove in his left hand, the right one free of any covers as usual, although you never really understood why. The black cape he often used was covered by the darkness of the room and his weapon was placed at his hip, held by a holster. 

You’d recognize him anywhere. 

Ren .

He was quiet and his chest rose with a deep breath, then fell again, this same motion repeating at least three times before he took a step closer to you. Your body reacted before your mind did and you tried to scramble away from him, gasping and groaning as you forced yourself to move but couldn’t. The feeling sent an agony that spread through you, your breathing becoming erratic and shallow with fear.

Tears stung the corners of your eyes and your heart pounded in your chest, anxiety rising in your core as you waited for him to do something, anything . Silent tears rolled down your cheeks, your mouth agape tasting the salty liquid as you let out a shaky breath. Having him near you caused a panic to rise inside you, something you hadn’t felt in a while and hoped you’d never have to feel again. It was bad enough having him in your nightmares almost every night, but you never thought you’d see him this close to you, in the flesh - the warmth of his body too real, the sound of his breath too audible, the familiar scent of his sweat filling your nostrils again. It made you sick to your stomach.

Was your mind playing games with you? Had Kylo finally driven you to madness?

Or, maybe, this was your personal hell. Perhaps you had died and this was the devil who awaited for your arrival, ready to torture you for eternity.

The doubts faded away when Ren gripped your jaw, forcing you to relive that fucking nightmare again. His fingers dug into your skin in the most painful way, with the intent of leaving bruises on your face. You shut your eyes in an attempt to end that nightmare when his voice came from behind the mask, turning his image into something much more real and palpable. A sob came from your throat at the sound of him speaking again, all the memories coming to the surface of your mind, forcing you to once more go through the worst moments in your life.

“Submit to me, doll. It will make this much easier for you, hm?” You almost choked in your own spit, your stomach churning in disgust as he called you by the pet name he gave you. Always ‘doll’, never your name.

You felt ashamed for it, but you really, really wanted to die. Ren had that effect on you more often than not.

“Please,” you begged in a low whisper, your pride breaking in your chest, “Please, just- just kill me, please.” 

Ren let out one of his cruel, filled with sarcasm and disdain chuckles as he dug the gloved fingers deeper into your jaw, which ripped a painful scream from your throat. 

“Oh no, my sweet doll. What kind of man would I be if I did that?” He spoke in a condescending tone, his free hand reaching for a strand of hair that had fallen over your forehead.

The second his finger met your skin you held a breath in, flinching against his warm touch. He hummed, proceeding with his task seeing that there was nothing you could do to stop him.

“I would be way too kind. That’s not what you deserve, is it now?” His tone was soft, yet filled with disdain and lacking any ounce of compassion or kindness. “What you deserve is to be brought so close to death that you can smell the ground with dirt you’ll be buried under, feel the coldness of death reaching for you and life being drained from your body, just for me to bring you back from that edge. Over and over again, until you can’t take it anymore.”

There was no doubt in your heart that Ren would do that, because he had in fact already done it before a couple times. The threat was real, too real, and you prayed to the Gods, to anyone out there, to take the pain away from you, to let you finally rest in peace, away from the torment that was the man in front of you. The monster that once upon a time was a fantasy, until it turned into something real.

“Please, please d-don’t, please stop, I’ll be good, I swear!” You loathed yourself for every single word that came out of your mouth, hated yourself for breaking not because of him, but for him. 

If I’m good he’ll stop, I just need to be good. Good, be good.

“ Much better, my beautiful doll. Submit to your Master, go on.”

More tears fell from your eyes and you shook your head from side to side frantically, emotionally unable to do that again and once more live your nightmare. You couldn’t do it, not again. A sob came from you and drool dripped from the corners of your mouth as he tsked your reaction, shaking his own head in a ‘no’ before releasing your jaw from his painful grip.

“No, no,” you mumbled the same word over and over, forcing your head up to keep eye contact. If you didn’t it would be much worse, that was one of Ren’s most important rules:

Eyes on me. Look at your Master when you address him.

“I can’t, please, I can’t do it.” You spoke between elaborated breaths, your voice shaking with a sob.

“I’ll break you if I have to, doll. You know that, don’t you?” His index finger held your chin up as he spoke. “I have no problem fixing a broken doll just to break her again.”

With that, a force began to build around your head until it made its way around your skull, the feeling growing more painful with each second. The sensation ripped a loud, terrified scream from your throat until it burned and Ren groaned, the pain becoming completely unbearable, far worse than when Kylo had done it. The fear and anxiety morphed into anger and hate, the skin of your body so warm that you felt like it was catching fire - that familiar feeling building in your chest again. That’s what Ren wanted.

You wouldn’t give it to him again. Never again.

A feral scream came from you as you dug your nails into your palm, teeth gritting.

“No! Stop, please stop,” you begged him, although you knew pleas were useless when it came to the monster in front of you. 

When the pain didn’t cease, but only grew worse, you felt at the edge again - so close to breaking.

“Stop it! Ren !” His name came out in a scream, filled with anger and hate. “I’m sorry, I meant Master, I’m sorry, I swear!”

More screams were ripped from your throat, most of them curses, apologies, his name or just groans and growls. Then, the word ‘stop’ and ‘ren’ kept being repeated over and over again until there was barely any energy in you to keep screaming, but somehow you found it in you to keep going even with the pain that grew worse around your skull. Your eyes were closed, your head down because you couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore. It was too painful.

The tone of your voice became lower and lower, until it was barely above a whisper, and only when you stopped yelling did you notice the pain around your head was completely gone. All there was left was the tiredness and exhaustion, along with the soreness all over your body. 

It was completely silent except for the sound of your breaths and the low whispers that came from your mouth. A warm, gloved hand rested on your shoulder, startling you and making your body flinch in response, but when you looked up there was a breath of relief to see that Ren was no longer there. But the question lingered: was he ever there?

Ironically, you were grateful to see Kylo and the masked creatures in the room with you, and not who brought you inner panic.

Your eyes briefly darted to the hand that was on your shoulder, the grip not too tight nor too soft. It was just there, as if bringing you back to reality, to where you were. It wasn’t trying to hurt you. When you looked up, you were met with yet another masked creature - another Knight of Ren, whose mask was tilted down, looking at you. His helmet was familiar, designed with sides that blocked his peripheral vision and a dark slit where his eyes supposedly were. This one.. Was at Gina’s, of course. But you had seen him closer, you were positive.

The fact that he wasn't carrying a deadly weapon soothed your mind, but nevertheless you were still absolutely frightened, especially after seeing Ren. It was naive to trust any of them, even for a slight second it was risky to let your guard down, you had to be alert at all times. It was becoming tiring.

The Knight kept his hand on your shoulder and tilted his mask towards Kylo before returning his gaze back to you, who shrinked against the metal chair in discomfort. 

One of the Knights that had his body resting against the wall across the room shifted, making his way towards your direction with slow steps, but not in a threatening or taunting way. It seemed cautious, and as the dim light illuminated his mask you easily recognized him as the Knight who had stayed with you at the laboratory. The one you threw a dagger at. Except this time he didn’t have his scary, big weapon resting across his shoulder or in his hands with a deadly grip.

He exchanged a look with the one who still had his hand on your shoulder, silently speaking to each other before they both looked at you and the staring caused a discomfort to sting in your chest. The one you had previously met took another step closer to you, but was still silent, just like everyone else in that room.

But it was Kylo who spoke first.

“Who were you speaking to?” Although the modulator of his mask turned his voice into a creepy, distorted sound, he sounded genuinely confused and intrigued.

It would be very hard to convince you that this wasn’t his doing, that he wasn’t the one who put Ren’s image in your head and tortured you like that, like he said he would. After digging so deep in your mind he probably knew about everything, and still made you go through that again, made you revive the worst memories you had, even if some of them were forgotten - thankfully. And now he wanted you to say it, making you revive it over and over again.

There was no doubt left in your mind that Kylo Ren was as cruel and as cold as you always thought. He was even worse.

You refused to look at him as you spat out of anger, “Stop pretending you don’t know. You’re the one who made me see him, after all. You did this.”

“I did no such thing. I am many things, little witch, but I am not a liar.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that? I may be many things too, Wampa, but I’m not a fool .” You said, now looking directly into the visor of his mask, staring daggers at it. He was silent for a moment, but before he could say anything, your voice came out in a whisper, “You know, and you made me see him again. Why?” Not a word came from him, and you broke down again. “ Why? ”

“It was Ren.” The Knight who had his hand on your shoulder spoke in a low tone while looking at the other masked creature beside him, his voice softer than Kylo’s. He looked down at you, your eyes meeting the empty visor of the mask. 

‘Wasn’t it?”

Then you were the one who fell silent. If there was one person in that room that could possibly know was Kylo, he was the one who constantly looked into your mind. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out as you briefly darted your gaze to the Knight beside him, then back at him again, searching for any word. His hand remained on you, the grip still the same.

“I–,” you tried to speak, but again, nothing would come out. There was too much shame, too much fear. The words ached in your throat and soon died, because it was too painful to talk about it. 

“There was a moment when you said ‘Ren’, but then apologised over and over, repeating ‘I’m sorry, Master. ’.” This time it was the one who had kept you company that spoke. The moment that occurred minutes ago was already fuzzy, but you’d forever remember it. It was impossible to forget.

You looked at both Knights in confusion, still trying to understand how in the seven hells they had come up with that conclusion. Kylo, once again, broke the silence.

“I never asked you to call me ‘Master’.”

That meant that… Kylo didn’t do anything? He hadn’t played with your mind like you thought he had, it was you and your own head betraying you. Ren was still inside you, more than you thought he were, like an infection that would never go away and it would keep coming back whenever you thought it was getting better. Maybe you’d never get better.

Ren would haunt you forever. That thought made your stomach twist and your heart heavy.

“How do you know Ren?” Kylo asked, taking a slow step towards you.

“I’m not talking.”

“I’ll just take it from you, the-”

As the masked creature began to raise his hand to once again force his way into your mind, the Knight beside you removed his hand from your shoulder and walked to Kylo, stopping him before he could torture you more. For that, you were thankful.

They didn’t exchange a word, but only looked at each other briefly before both of them left the room, leaving you alone with the other three dark creatures remaining in the room, none of them saying a word. The Knight in front of you barely moved an inch, just staring at you for what it felt like minutes.

“It is rude to stare, Wamp-”

“Vicrul.”

“Bless you?”

He chuckled behind the mask, beginning to circle you like a predator after its prey until he stopped right behind your head, which made you uneasy. Not seeing him was far much worse than seeing.

“My name is Vicrul.” His voice dropped an octave and you gasped as he spoke right next to your ear, the vibration of his mask brushing against the tip of your ear, the coldness of the material making you shiver.

Vicrul , as he mentioned, let out a hum of approval at your reaction, pleased to see that he was able to so easily cause an effect on you.

“Do I have an effect on you, sweet thing? Is that it?”

I swear if this wampa, bantha fodder reads my mind one more time- 

“If you mean disgust and nausea, then yes. You certainly have an effect on me.”

You swore you could hear him smirk under that stupid mask.

“I’ll take what I can get.”

The doors whooshed open and Vicrul immediately straightened up, walking around you again until he was at the position he was when Kylo and the other Knight left the room. Both of them returned, the Supreme Buckethead’s cloak swirling around his feet dramatically, as usual. 

The Knight returned to his position beside the chair you were sitting on, while Kylo once more stood in front of you, the dark mass towering over you under the dim light. His mask was tilted down, looking at you intensely, his energy as thick as the walls around you. His gloved hand came to grip your jaw again, except this time it wasn’t too tight or painful, but only firm.

“Submit to me, little witch.”

You groaned, already exhausted with that fucking conversation. “How many time do I have to say ‘fuck no’?”

He hummed and as you expected him to force his way into your mind again, he did something else entirely. The image of Ren was once again inside your head, yet it was much worse - this time he didn’t have his mask on and Kylo was forcing you to stare into the stone cold blue eyes that terrified you. That cruel, emotionless face that made your skin crawl was all around your thoughts and you growled as the tears fought their way out of the corners of your eyes.

You didn’t want to break because of Kylo, or for him. You couldn’t.

“It hurts, doesn’t it? To see the face of the man who broke you.” He taunted, forcing the images clearer into your mind.

“Stop-”

“See him. Look at his face, little witch.”

“No! Please, please stop.”

Your cry became a sob when you felt a hand covering your knee, the fingers gripping onto your flesh with an unnecessary strength. The fear morphed into panic as you felt the very familiar calloused hand slowly making its way up to your thigh, and a scream ripped from your throat at the feeling, your stomach twisting in disgust. 

“I can make it stop. The images, the feeling of him, the nightmares and memories.”

Kylo’s voice was, ironically, the only thing keeping you away from the dark and twisted fantasy he was putting you in. All you had to do was focus on his voice, none of it was real - Ren, the hands on your skin. It wasn’t real.

“You feel it at night, don’t you? When you’re alone, in the dark. I see it. You feel the roughness of his touch, you hear his hoarse voice ringing in your ear.”

It was true. Even though this torture session made you revive the worst memories of your life, that already happened whenever you were on your own. Sometimes you’d wake up in the middle of the night panting and sweating at the feeling of Ren again, only to see nothing in the room, but you and the ghost of your past.

The hand that was slowly moving made its way to your thigh, the fingers still digging into your skin in a rough way. You whimpered, trying to scramble away but your body wouldn’t move as hard as you tried.

“You feel so lonely. Helpless. Guilty and ashamed because of the darkness I know exists in you.”

His words rang in your head, showing you the painful truth you hid from yourself. Ren’s face was becoming overwhelming, the fear and horror rising in your core as your heart pounded against your chest.

“You don’t know me. No one does.” You spoke between gritted teeth, focusing on his modulated voice.

“But I do.”

The hand on your thigh stopped momentarily, lingering there against your skin before continuing to move again, and that was enough to set the alarms in your head again. Raw panic filled your veins and you cried in agony. It was becoming too much, too overwhelming and too painful. 

“Please! Stop this-”

“Submit and I’ll help you. I’ll make the nightmares stop, make it all go away. If you submit.”

“What? No… Don’t. Please don’t.” You said between heavy breaths, feeling yourself close to the edge, so very close.

“Yes. Give in, little witch. I can make it stop.”

“ LIAR !” You yelled, ready to betray your pride and hope as you felt the cliff's edge at your toes, so close to falling. Close to giving up, just to make it stop, you needed it to stop.

“I thought we had already established that I am no liar.”

Kylo took advantage of your moment of vulnerability to look into your mind again, sorting out through your memories with Ren, which were just a few. You had no strength left in you to fight anymore, and allowed him to see whatever he was trying to. Suddenly, the image of Ren was gone and so was the feeling of his hand against your skin.

Just as the feeling vanished, darkness began to swallow you from the exhaustion, your eyes heaving.

“I.. .” As the words left your mouth in a whisper, everything became dark and your body became limp as it fell forward.

Before it could hit the ground, a pair of arms grabbed you and picked you up, the softness of a warm and smooth tunic the last thing you felt before you fully lost consciousness and drifted into a peaceful sleep. 

—

Earlier that day

Kuruk woke up with a soreness in his lower abdomen and groaned in discomfort as he adjusted his eyes to the bright lights of the Med Bay. It was not his first visit there and it wouldn’t be the last. The first thing he heard was that annoying, constant beep of the machines in his room, which was probably what disturbed him from his sleep.

He looked around, only to find Vicrul seated in an armchair across the room, his scythe that he carried everywhere (quite literally… everywhere) resting against the wall. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

“Fuck off, Vic.” Kuruk groaned, sitting up on his bed. 

Vicrul stood up and made his way towards the bed, standing at the edge of it with his arms crossed around his chest.

“Are you going to tell me who ‘little ghost’ is?”

Kuruk looked at his brother in confusion, waiting for him to continue. When Vicrul remained silent, he spoke, “What are you talking about?”

He was genuinely confused. There were no memories of anyone he had once called that pet name, which was very specific. He raised his eyebrows to Vicrul, urging him to explain what in the seven hells was going on, because he definitely had no idea.

“In your sleep, you kept mumbling ‘little ghost’.”

That was odd. Kuruk had no recollection of that name, not even a face or a voice that could be related to that. Absolutely nothing, it was a void in his head, like he had never spoken that name.

“Little ghost?” When he said it out loud, it did feel too familiar and too comfortable rolling out of his tongue, like it was natural. 

The Knight had been in and out since he had arrived at the Med Bay, after getting stabbed by.. He didn’t recall her, he had never seen her before, except at the Cantina.

The image of her feral face right before thrusting her weapon into his abdomen was like a flash in his mind - her eyes filled with fury and fear, beads of sweat at the top of her forehead and the cute.. Wait, no, not cute- the way her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

He had been through different kinds of injuries in battles before, but he had never experienced something like what she did to him. Seconds after the blade had thrusted into his skin, the pain had begun and it spread through his body like wildfire, as if he was burning from the inside out, his organs, muscles and veins just melting. It was so much pain, he actually believed he was about to meet death. When he opened his eyes to bright eyes shining above him, he knew for certain he wasn’t dead, because hell wasn’t bright or white coloured - and if he ever were to die, that’s where a creature like him would go: hell.

Not that it bothered him, though. Kuruk had gone through actual hell in his life. The afterlife couldn’t possibly be worse, at least that’s what he thought. Maybe it was an unconscious attempt to comfort himself; believing that the after death feeling wouldn’t be as bad as his own life. A creature like him could never belong to a magical place like heaven, where ancient Gods, angels and beautiful, heavenly creatures lived - he was no such thing.

“Did Kylo get the girl, after all?” Kuruk asked, wanting to change the subject.

Vicrul sighed. “Yes. But.. There was a change of plans.”

Kuruk noticed that his brother was hesitant, which didn’t occur often.

“How so?”

“Well,” he paused, searching for the right words. “She will now work personally for us and Kylo. The weapons are hers, she’s the one who makes them.”

To say that Kuruk was surprised.. It was an understatement. But before he could express any feelings about his Master’s decision, Vicrul spoke again.

“The “pretty girl” that attacked you will be staying with us.” He said, mocking his brother. When Kuruk expressed a confused look again, his brother was quick to answer. “When we found you, we asked what had happened and you repeated the same thing over and over: pretty girl, pretty girl. It was quite amusing if I’m being honest.”

Kuruk groaned in annoyance, shifting on the bed until he was seated and his feet were touching the ground. He momentarily looked down at his abdomen, which had a bandage covering the wound that was wrapped around his waist and his mind brought him back to the moment he saw her face for the first time. When he had tackled her to the ground she still wore a cloak that darkened her face and only when she gained dominance in the fight and pinned him down that it fell from her head, allowing him to see her clearly for the first time that night.

The Knight felt a sting of headache for a second and shut his eyes, placing a hand over his forehead. Her image in his head changed - he heard her cries as she was still over his body, yet this time she called out his name, over and over. As fast as the image came it was also gone. Maybe his head was fuzzy, that’s probably what that was, the venom did have a pretty bad effect on him.

“That is nonsense.”

“I’ll admit that she’s rather… addicting. Her attitude could drive the strongest of men completely mad.”

“And how would you know?”

Vicrul smirked under the mask. “Kylo assigned me the babysitting task. She is an angry little thing and clearly won’t trust us any time soon.”

It didn’t go unnoticed by Kuruk that his brother was about to add a “but” and hesitated, then went silent. However, he decided to respect his wishes and ask no questions about it.

“Her trust couldn’t mean less to me.”

Vicrul just nodded and the sound of his datapad broke the silence between them. He grabbed the device, tapping on the screen a few times before sighing heavily.

“Hux is asking for the reports about the girl.” He stated as he grabbed his scythe from the wall. “Ushar is waiting for you outside, he has the rest of your armour and your helmet.”

Kuruk nodded as he forced himself to stand up with a low whimper, scrunching his nose at the discomfort of his wound and taking a deep breath before grabbing his shirt to put it on. Vicrul stopped at the door frame, hesitating. He then turned on his heels, facing Kuruk again.

“Out of the record… I don’t want to share this with Kylo just yet, but,” he spoke, taking one step into the room as he leaned his scythe over his shoulders. “I think she might be hiding something. It’s just a feeling.”

And with that, Vicrul left.

--

Kuruk couldn’t deny that there was a hint of a smile on his face as Kylo mentally tortured the girl. She was panting, gasping and already exhausted, but not once she cried or begged his Master to stop, instead, she talked back even between shallow breaths. He mentally admitted to himself that Vicrul might be right about her attitude, because she wouldn’t bow her head to Kylo for her dear life, which was making him impatient. The frustration was radiating off of his Master, his emotions a mix of anger and… lust?

Oh Gods.

He taunted the girl again and again, yet she didn’t give up and fought him back with just her words that seemed to affect Kylo more than he’d like to admit. Kuruk was enjoying the view, since he couldn’t have his personal revenge on her for stabbing him, then he would dwell in this moment and watch her suffer at the hands of his Master.

It would never cross his mind to admit out loud, but.. Her fierceness, the fire in her eyes and boldness were indeed addicting. Her behaviour was more appealing than he’d like to say or notice.

In the room there was Ap’lek, Vicrul and Cardo besides himself and Kylo. The three other Knights were leaning against the wall, except for Ap’lek, who opted for a closer view of the scene, while Kuruk stayed hidden in the shadows, silently watching. Then, an abrupt silence fell in that small, dark cell. Had the girl passed out? All the Knights chuckled, but the sound soon died when she raised her head, only to stare at Kylo with utter disbelief and horror.

Kuruk had seen that look in someone's eyes once in his life. This was the second time.

The girl was clearly panicking, which was odd because she hadn’t looked at Kylo like that not even once since they started this little torture session. Her body was being held by the Force hold his Master had on her, and yet he could see her struggle to scramble away from the figure in front of her.

Kylo was frozen in place.

“What is happening with her?” Ap’lek was the one who asked.

“I don’t know.” His Master replied honestly. 

No one in that room had a clue about what she could possibly be seeing, she was terrified to her core, until finally she said something.

“Please,” there was a pause. “Please, just- just kill me, please.”

She was pleading and begging, desperation and fear in her eyes as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. Her body tried to thrash against the chair as she yelled, begged and screamed in pure and utter horror. Kuruk had never seen someone like this, not even any of his or the Knights victims. None of them knew what to do as she sobbed, pleading to nothing. Asking to die. No, not asking - begging.

Her emotions were all over the place, he could feel it. She felt guilty for wanting to die and give up, but she was exhausted and broken, with no more energy to face whatever she was facing in that moment. The girl was tormented, haunted by what she was seeing and could no longer stand her brave posture. She was shattered and the wave of her emotions began to overwhelm Kuruk’s mind, because he had felt that way before, a long time ago.

Then, she screamed again.

“Stop it! Ren !”

Ren . She couldn’t possibly be talking about.. Then she yelled his name again. And again, and again, followed by apologies and curses.

Kuruk knew very well who Ren was - he was the former Master of the Knights of Ren, years ago. And if there was one person in this galaxy who was merciless, cold and cruel, empty of any remorse or empathy, that was Ren and Kuruk knew that very well. He had spent a while with him, and knew very well what that man was capable of.

The time that the Knights spent with Ren as their Master could be described as glorious, seeing that they took whatever they wanted whenever they wanted from whoever they wanted, nothing mattered and nothing stayed between them and what they wanted. Kylo wasn’t a good man either, but Ren.. The name even sent chills down Kuruk’s spine. He had absolutely no morals and would destroy anything in his way if that’s what he wished.

The Knight was glad that he was dead.

Kuruk’s time with Ren had its moments, but there were a few gaps in his memory, like missing memories. Maybe they were too much for his conscience to bear, which was understandable. But the question that hung on his head was.. How in the seven hells did this girl know Ren? He didn’t remember him ever mentioning a girl or a new Knight of Ren, but he had always been private about his intimate relationships.. That was pretty much only with prostitutes from different brothels from around the Galaxy.

That was something she would certainly have to explain, whether she liked it or not. Kuruk wanted the truth, because nothing made sense at that moment. Had Ren kept her as a secret? Was she.. An apprentice? There were a lot of unanswered questions that needed an explanation. Kuruk felt a sting of empathy for the girl now that he knew Ren had probably traumatised her, he just didn’t know why or how.

For a moment, a swift one, Kuruk felt bad for her. As he knew what Ren had done to him, he knew what he could’ve done to her, and the thought made an uncomfortable feeling pinch his heart. Was it.. Was it empathy? He couldn’t tell, but he wanted to free the girl of her torment.

At that moment, he had forgotten how much he despised her presence.

There was so much pain, he could feel it in his bones. Kuruk made a selfish decision, but he had to see it. Taking advantage of this vulnerable moment, he pushed into her mind, letting him be guided by her emotions as he sorted through the memories she had with Ren, following her fear. And what he saw was.. It was impossible. She had known him since she was just a kid, not more than 13 years old. Kuruk was certainly older than the girl, but not that much.

Which meant that Ren did keep her a secret from the Knights, which sounded.. It sounded completely delusional, seeing that they were together pretty much the entire time.

The girl fell silent, her head tilted down, completely limp. The Knights exchanged looks with their Master, but Kuruk was frozen in place, just staring at her until he finally moved and walked towards her. The dim light that hung above her made the top of her head shine and he looked at her for a moment before deciding what to do. Her hair was over her face, hiding her from him and she was still shaking, her hands gripping onto the chair for dear life. She was still scared and Kuruk didn’t want to frighten the girl even more.

His own actions surprised him. Kuruk gently rested one of his gloved hands on her shoulder in an attempt to bring her mind back from wherever it was. He felt her flinch under his touch and she immediately lifted her head up to look at him.

His heart tightened at the sight, something he hadn’t felt in a while. He didn’t even know the girl, why was he suddenly getting fond of her? He had to remember that she stabbed him and made him go through one of the worst pains he had ever felt in his life. Still, he couldn’t look away from her eyes, which were red and puffy from her cries and sobs. The look she gave him was still a terrified one, but much to his surprise, her gaze softened when she actually looked at him.

As if she had realised that Ren was no longer with her. That he was never there.

Vicrul moved from the wall he was leaning against and walked towards the girl, stopping beside Kuruk, but Kylo was the one who broke the silence.

“Who were you speaking to?” He was confused and intrigued.

She scoffed, the hurt evident in her eyes. “Stop pretending you don’t know. You’re the one who made me see him, after all. You did this.”

“I did no such thing. I am many things, little witch, but I am not a liar.” He replied, and Kylo was speaking the truth. A liar was something he wasn’t.

“And I’m supposed to believe that? I may be many things too, Wampa, but I’m not a fool .” 

The conversation went on, and she was refusing to say who she was talking to, until Kuruk decided to do it for her.

“It was Ren.” There was a moment of silence as the Knights in the room and their Master processed the new information. Kuruk looked down at the girl, seeking her affirmation. “Wasn’t it?”

She was silent, trying to form any words but she just stuttered “I” and no longer spoke. The girl was asking herself how would they know about Ren, or how would they know that he was the one she was speaking to. 

“There was a moment when you said ‘Ren’, but then apologised over and over, repeating ‘I’m sorry, Master. ’.” Vicrul noticed her confusion and explained. Then, Kylo completed.

“I never asked you to call me Master.”

Eventually, Kylo decided that he would take the memories from her, but Kuruk was quick to interrupt him, contacting his Master through the force.

Master. A word, outside.

This better be important, Knight.

Kuruk followed his Master as the door whooshed and opened for them, and only when they closed that he finally spoke. 

“I believe I should show you.”

Kylo placed both hands on Kuruk’s temple, sorting through his memories until he found what he wanted to show him. His Master opened his eyes in surprise, taking a step away from the Knight as he found himself in a difficult position.

“Master, her memories are blocked. Most of them. I’m not sure if she did that herself or..”

“Or someone else.”

Kuruk had tried to access more memories from her, but it was impossible. They were there, but just a blur that he couldn’t see or even hear. It made him uneasy, because there was a chance she was, indeed, hiding something from them. But it was Kylo’s decision if they were going to do something or wait.

“It is an unusual situation. The memories can’t be unblocked with the Force.” He paused. “She must unblock them naturally. That takes time.”

“What are your orders, Master?”

“The girl stays. I’ve taken a particular interest in her, and I wish to see how far I can take this. When and if she becomes a threat, I’ll eliminate her myself. Is that clear?”

Kuruk nodded, a small portion of him relieved that Kylo decided to keep the girl alive. He couldn’t deny that he had taken an interest in her himself, especially now that he was aware that she had been with Ren and he wanted answers.

“As long as she’s alive, she is ours.”

Ours . The use of the word didn’t go unnoticed by Kuruk.