Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

12:18 am

Ash created a group chat

Ash changed the chat’s name to HEY GUYS!

Ash added Gary, Misty, Brock, May, Dawn, and 20+ others

Ash: hey guys!

Gary: Ash what the f***?!

Gary: its fricking 12 in the morning!

Gary: what are you doing?

Ash: I was bored and couldn’t sleep

Ash: oh btw Pikachu says hi

Gary: okay 1st) tell him I said hi too

Ash: will do

Gary: and 2nd) THATS STILL NOT A GOOD EXCUSE

Gary: you know people are trying to sleep, right?

Ash: then why aren’t you?

Gary: …

Iris: oof

Ash: Iris!! Hi!!

Iris: hey Ash

Iris: good to see that you didn’t die in Kalos

Ash: huh?

Ash: oh yeah

Ash: yeah that was crazy

Gary: you know, if I didn’t know that you deal with this stuff on the reg, I would probably be more concerned

Ash: ‘more’?

Gary: well yeah, you shouldn’t be dealing with this stuff at all!

Gary: seriously, I think you’ve met every legendary ever

Iris: yeah and you’ve almost died like five times so

Ash: oh, yeahhh

Gary: dude 

Gary: you seriously need a break

Ash: yeah well it's not like I want this stuff to happen

Ash: it just does

Ash: I think I’m cursed or something

Ash: which would make sense ig since I was possessed that one time

Iris: ???

Gary: you

Gary: you were what

Ash: yeah

Ash: some guy possessed me and made me tell Sceptile to jump behind a referee

Iris: ???

Iris: dude what the f***

Gary: …

Gary: OKAY THATS IT

Ash: Gary?

Gary: I’m taking you on a F***ING VACATION

Gary: AND NOTHNG IS GOING TO HAPPEN

Gary: *NOTHING

Ash: uh

Ash: okay

Ash: but where would we even go?

Bianca: why not Alola?

Bianca: I hear it's nice there

Ash: Bianca! hi!

Bianca: hi Ash!

Iris: hey Bianca

Bianca: Iris! You’re here too?

Iris: unfortunately

Ash: hey!

Iris: Ash we literally just talked about you being possessed

Ash: …okay well when you put it like that

Bianca: wait you were what?!

Ash: I was possessed

Ash: it wasn’t fun

Bianca: well I don’t think it would

Ash: yeah

Ash: it really sucked

Bianca: :(

Iris: hey is that Gary guy alright?

Iris: he hasn’t said anything in like the past five mins

Ash: ASDDFGNRHELA 

Iris: ?

Ash: “that Gary guy”

Ash: Iris do you seriously not know who he is?

Iris: no? Should I?

Ash: he’s professor Oak’s grandson

Iris: wait seriously?

Ash: yeah

Ash: oh my Arceus I think this is the best moment of my entire life

Iris: ??

Iris: Ash can you stop being confusing for like two minutes

Ash: no

Iris: ffs

Bianca: …I have still have no idea what's going on and now I think I don’t want to know

Iris: honestly thats probably for the best

Ash: yeah

Ash: tbh I'm still surprised by all the tauros crap thats happened to me over the years

Iris: ^^

Gary: ^^^

Bianca: oh hey that Gary guy’s back

Ash: nhedwndnwanw

Gary: okay I’m just gonna ignore that bc I have more important stuff to deal with

Gary: and speaking of that

Gary: PACK YOUR BAGS ASHY BOY

Gary: LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING TO ALOLA

Gary: AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN

Ash: But I literally just got home :(

Gary: …

Gary: fine, you have until the end of the week

Gary: but no matter what we’re going to Alola AND NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN IDGAF

Iris: ngl I kinda wanna come now

Iris: but only bc it's gonna be funny when Gary fails

Iris: also

Iris: ASHY BOY

Bianca: ASHY BOY!!!

Ash: NO

Ash: look what’ve you done Gary

Ash: Arceus dammit

Ash: Gary?

Ash: you still there?

Gary: This is Professor Rowan. I have taken Gary’s phone so that he might finally get some sleep.

Iris: oof

Ash: Rip

Ash: also hi professor Rowan!

Gary: Hello, Ash. I’m glad you got home safe.

Ash: yeah me too 

Ash: Kalos was w i l d

Gary: Yes, well, remember to get some sleep and good night, everyone.

Ash: goodnight!

Bianca : bye

Iris: yeah goodnight professor guy

Gary went offline

Ash: nehwNHWn

Ash: “that professor guy”

Ash: it that what you call everyone you don’t know?

Iris: well what am I supposed to call them?

Bianca: their actual names without the ‘guy’ attached?

Iris: naw thats too easy

Ash: lol

Ash: well I think I’m gonna try to go to sleep again

Ash: see ya later!

Bianca: bye Ash

Iris:  see ya

Ash went offline

Iris went offline

Bianca went offline

11:45 am

HEY GUYS!

Misty: WHAT THE F***

Chapter Text

5:03 pm

HEY GUYS!

Gary: its been 30 minutes 

Gary: ASH WHAT THE COMPLETE AND ACTUAL F***

Ash: HEY ITS NOT MY FAULT

Ash: STUFF LIKE THIS JUST HAPPENS

Gary: CLEARLY

Brock: let me guess: Ash ran into another legendary

Gary: YEP

Misty: honestly you brought this on yourself

Misty: as Ash’s friend you should’ve known this was going to happen

Gary: WELL SORRY THAT I DARED TO HOPE

Tracey: I love it when Gary freaks out like this

Tracey: its hilarious

Ash: Tracey!

Tracey: Ash! How’ve you been?

Ash: I’m good

Ash: so far the trip has been good, too

Ash: especially since I recorded Gary cursing at the legendary pokemon

Tracey: :0

Misty: pic or it didn’t happen

Ash: Gary’s about to be smote.MP4

Misty: lol

Tracey: I love that file name

Brock: Ash please try to not smote by any pokemon, legendary or not

Ash: tell that to Gary

Ash: he’s the one who decided that cursing at a legendary was a good idea

Gary: oh frick off

Ash: you first

Dawn: I check my phone for one second

Ash: hey Dawn

Dawn: hey Ash

Dawn: I see you’ve already got into your usual shenanigans

Ash: haha yeah

Ash: I mean at least this time Pikachu didn’t get kidnapped immediately or anything

Dawn: yeah, we don’t need a repeat of Sinnoh

May: wait that happened in Sinnoh, too? I thought it only happened in Hoenn

Ash: May!

Dawn: May!

Brock: hey May

Misty:  hi

Tracey: hi May

May: hey guys!

Gary: okay am I the only one who doesn’t know who May is?

Ash: out everyone here, yeah, I think so

May: ?

May: wait a sec

May: are you the same Gary that sent Ash a postcard after he lost to Brendon?

Gary: yep

May: oh

May: well its nice to finally meet you

Gary: likewise

Misty: wow, Gary can really just flip on the dime like that can’t he?

  Ash: yeah

Ash: although I would say he’s more like a penny

Gary: HEY

Dawn: can we get an f in the chat?

May: f

Brock: f

Ash: oh cmon he deserved it!

Tracey: f

Misty: Ash’s right

Ash: thank you

Tracey: tbh its lowkey terrifying when you guys agree on something

Brock: yeah

Dawn: wait why?

May: yeah why?

Tracey: you would have to travel with them to understand

Brock: as the first person who traveled with them, yeah, Tracey’s right

Ash: oh come on, we weren't that bad

Misty: yeah!

Tracey: ehhh

Misty: shut up Tracey

8:46 pm

HEY GUYS!

Ash: that moment when you realize you have the perfect blackmail on somebody

Dawn: ?

Dawn: are you talking about that video of Gary cursing?

Ash: yep!

Gary: I’m going to murder you

Ash: good luck with that

May: ehwbhedH

Dawn: “good luck”

Brock: can we stop joking about Ash dying for five minutes?

Ash: no

May: no

Dawn: no

Brock: *sigh*

Trip: do you guys ever shut up?

Ash: hey Trip

Trip: hey Ash

Gary: now who is this guy?

Ash: he’s my rival from Unova

Trip: hello

Gary: ohhhh

Gary: your the guy with the Serperior, right?

Trip: yeah

Gary: alright then

Gary changed Trip’s name to The not superior rival

The not superior rival: ?

Dawn: wow

May: did I just witness a murder?

Ash: Gary wtf

Gary: I’m asserting my dominance 

Gary: so everyone knows I’m the best rival

Dawn: best friends and rivals to the end, huh?

Gary: damn straight

May: I am so confused

The not superior rival: me too

Tracey: oh no, not this again

Dawn: again?

Tracey: you’ve got to stop doing this

Dawn: I repeat: again??

Ash: ?

Ash: wait

Ash: Gary

Gary: yes, Ashy-boy?

Ash: please tell me right now that you haven’t done this to other people who were my rivals

Gary: …

Ash: Gary

Gary: …

Ash: Gary

Gary: …

Ash: Gary

Gary: …okay I just want to clarify that I mainly did it because he was an a**

Dawn: “mainly”

Gary: I mean, what was I supposed to do? NOT trip the guy who made your Infernape fight when he was clearly in no shape to? wth

Ash: Gary!

Tracey: you're leaving out the part where you apparently tripped him into a lake

Ash: GARY!!!

Gary: Tracey, I thought we were friends

Gary: why would you expose me like this?

Tracey: because its funny

Dawn: LMAO

May: I’m still super confused

The not superior rival: ^^

Chapter Text

11:38 am

HEY GUYS!

May: hey Ash, I know you were the one who added everybody, but can I add someone?

May: please?

May: Ash?

May: …

May: oh screw it

May added Drew

Drew: May wtf

Drew: why would you do this to me?

May: bc its funny

May: AND I want to introduce you to everyone!

Drew: ah, so you decided to do this when literally no one is online

Drew: nice plan

May: oh shut up

Zoey: ah s***

Zoey: this is actually a thing? I thought Dawn was joking

May: ?

Drew: who tf are you?

Zoey: who tf are you ?

Drew: I asked you first

Zoey: I asked you second

May: wha-

May: how…how did you guys do that?

May: like you got the pacing down and everything damn

Zoey: ?

Drew: May what the heck are you talking about?

May: was…was that not a reference?

Zoey: a reference to what?

Kenny: to The Most Popular Girls in School, you uncultured le chonks

May: !!!

May: yeah, that!

May: thanks…whoever you are

Kenny: I’m Kenny

Kenny: I’m a coordinator like the rest of you guys

May: ohhh

May: well its nice to meet you

Kenny: thanks, its nice to meet you, too

Zoey: wait, I know you

Zoey: your that guy with the Prinplup, right?

Kenny: he’s an Empoleon now, but yeah

Kenny: and your the girl with the Glameow, right?

Zoey: yeah

Drew: ? how is Ash friends with so many coordinators? Isn’t he a trainer?

May: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  idk he’s just really friendly

May: he’s also competed in contests so

Drew: wait he’s what

May: he’s competed in contests before!

May: we actually tied once and were co-winners of a contest

Drew: huh

Drew: I kinda wish I could’ve seen that tbh

Zoey: yeah Ash is actually not that bad

Zoey: I almost lost to him when we first met

Kenny: I lost to him once

Kenny: although that was in a normal battle so

Kenny: next time I see him I’m gonna drag him to a contest and challenge him

Angie: lol I would literally pay to see that

Drew: now who the heck are you?

Angie: I’m a pokemon trainer from Sinnoh

Angie: me and Ash met at the summer camp Prof. Rowan runs

Drew: okay now this is what I’m talking about

Drew: Ash has too many friends

Angie: hey! You can never have too many friends!

Kenny: ^^

May: ^^^

Angie: though I will say that its incredible that he’s traveled through 6 regions and he still doesn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner

May: well, no offense to Ash, but he’s the most oblivious person in the world

May: someone could kiss him and he would still be like ‘friendship?’

Kenny: lol

Zoey: honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if its already happened

Drew: well maybe he’s aro

Angie: ? what does aro mean?

Drew: it describes someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction towards anyone

Drew: honestly Ash’s obliviousness kinda reminds me of a story Solidad told me of how she was asked out on a date and she didn’t know that until like 5 weeks after

Drew: of course not all aro people are like that but…

May: huh

May: that would make sense

May: but he’s also oblivious about a lot of other things so maybe not?

Kenny: Ash is just an enigma of a person

Zoey: yeah

Zoey: who knows

Zoey: is he aro or Kantonese?

Angie: lol

Kenny: yeah

Kenny: wait a second

Kenny: isn’t he in this chat? Why don’t we just ask him?

May: I would but I guess something’s going on

May: a legendary pokemon probably kidnapped him or something

Angie: wow you literally don’t care at this point, do you?

May: I do, I’m just tired of it

Kenny: she’s not mad, she’s just disappointed

Angie: lol

Drew: ok but seriously, how many legendaries has he run into? Bc I know about the whole Zygarde thing (obviously) but idk about the others

May: well when I traveled with him we met a Manaphy (I still miss him), a Mew, a Jirachi, a Rayquaza, two Deoxyss (Deoxi?), and a weird Groudon thing

May: I mean there were also those mirage pokemon but I don’t really like to think about it so

Zoey: wait wasn’t his mom also kidnapped that one time by an Entei?

Kenny: ???

Drew: what

Zoey: I didn’t realize it until now, but I remember there was a news report about some woman being kidnapped by an Entei and her son with his pikachu chasing them

Zoey: please tell me someone else remembers this

Zoey: @Ash’s Johto friends please confirm that this was an actual thing 

Sakura: it was

Zoey: thank you!

Drew: you know what? I’m so tired with this I’m not even going to ask who you are

Sakura: If Ash didn’t add 20+ people to this chat I would probably be offended by that

Sakura: but go off king

Max: if Drew’s a king does that mean May’s a queen?

Angie: fbhebfbh

Kenny: wow

Kenny: he really was just waiting for that wasn’t he?

May: MAX

Drew: depends on her answer

Zoey: there are 4 types of people in this world

May: WAIT WHAT

Drew: I mean, I’ve been giving you roses for like five years, May

Drew: have you seriously just thought I did that because we’re friends?

May: uh

Max: yes

May: shut up Max

May: and Drew, you better not be joking

Drew: hey, I’m your rival, not an a-hole

May: so, you really like me?

Drew: yes

Drew: do you like me back?

Drew: its okay if you don’t

Drew: I’ll live

Drew: no he won’t - Solidad

Angie: oof

Kenny: shhhh!

Angie: sorry!

Drew: I

Drew: frick

Drew added Solidad

Drew: I hate you

Solidad: no u don’t

Solidad: and May please say yes

Solidad: I don’t know if I can take Drew’s angsty pining for much longer

Drew: SOLIDAD

May: yes

Drew: you

Drew: wait what

May: I like you, too

May: so, would you want to be my boyfriend?

Drew: YES

Drew: uh, I mean, yes

Kenny: yes!

Solidad: FINALLY

Sakura: i still don’t know who you guys are but good for you!

Max: my work is done

Zoey: hmm, maybe I was wrong about this being a bad thing

Angie: wow a whole soap opera really happened, didn’t it?

Kenny: YEP AND IT WAS HILARIOUS

3:17 pm

HEY GUY!

Dawn: what…what even happened?

Zoey: had to be there

Kenny: had to be there

Angie: had to be there

Dawn: …okay