Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The panic is real.

Iruka stands there in the middle of an empty street, the closest building at a great distance, the skies darkening. Beyond the grayish skies above his head that obscures the full moon and stars, he stares at his poor scooter that has chosen now of all times to finally die on him.

The only thing working is the headlight, which Iruka supposes is the tiniest of mercies.

Iruka met a client at the other end of town to come up with a mural design for what is supposed to be a cutesy wall for an equally cutesy bakery-cafe. He liked the couple, liked their concept, liked their cake samples even more. It was a lovely meeting. Iruka loved it when his clients had a clear vision of what they wanted.

Normally, Iruka would have taken the regular road. But the GPS suggested an alternate route away from the 7:00 PM traffic. Which is exactly what Iruka had wanted because he's supposed to reach home by 7:45, make himself decent and presentable and then meet Tobirama at a restaurant for dinner by 8:30. Tobirama wanted to pick him up. Iruka had insisted they meet instead with enough time in between and factoring in delays with his client. 

Except now, Iruka is stranded in this shortcut behind an old factory and a very old (abandoned?) gas station. 

The sky rumbles above him ominously, Iruka quickly shucking his coat off and wrapping up his backpack. More than himself, losing work data and his tablet will be a bigger problem. 

It's been twenty minutes and the tow truck hasn't arrived yet.

Not surprising. It is the peak of traffic on a Thursday night. 

Iruka looks at his watch again and then at the glow of the distant building which he fervently hopes is some sort of establishment and not just a building with… lights.

Iruka is going to have to drag his dead scooter.

Which is fine.

Except the sky rumbles again and down comes the rain.

Drizzling at first.

Then sheets of it.

Fucking autumn rain.

*

By the time Iruka reaches the building which turns out to be, indeed, a building with lights and nothing under it - figures because why would he have any luck at all especially on his only sixth date with Tobirama? Sure, they fucked after each date but the dates are something Iruka treasures and respects because Tobirama carves out time for him and that's just… it's really nice and makes Iruka feel really special okay?

Even though they're not exactly committed to each other. Or official.

It deserves to be respected, appreciated and reciprocated with great enthusiasm! Besides, every date they've had so far has been one of the best dates ever! Dinner is always great! Tobirama has taught him to appreciate wines on a whole new level. Aaaaaaand, more than that, Tobirama has been quite open and candid in answering all of Iruka’s questions!

“When did you know you enjoyed being…” Iruka asked, on their second date, which happened to be brunch at a nice all glass enclosed rooftop place called Enchante. The place served avocado toast on rustic sourdough bread, spread with sun dried tomato butter and topped with a poached egg.

Iruka has been to brunches before.

But they're usually the pancake, frozen sausages and waffle affair. Not quite the fancy toast he had.

Which is now his favorite, by the way. He's drawn such things before, designed brunch menus. But to sit and eat and appreciate it? Not really.

“My early twenties,” Tobirama said, as he took a sip of his coffee. “I was with a woman then who wanted to be dominated. By the middle of it, when she called me Daddy, I knew.”

“So you've been doing this for a while. All this time and you haven't found a long term partner?”

“No,” Tobirama said. It wasn't anything clipped, evasive, or cold. None of that. Just the plain truth. “My brothers and I have been focused on growing our firm. I've had relationships in the past, the longest lasting two and a half years.”

“Why did it end?”

“Mutual understanding. She had to move away for a better career prospect,” Tobirama answered. “What about you? When did you know you enjoyed being with Daddies?”

Iruka didn't bother lying. He saw no point in doing so when Tobirama didn't seem to hide anything. “When I met my ex. The guy I was supposed to be yelling at, not you. One night he told me to call him Daddy and I did. I liked it. He told me about it, I looked into it, tried a whole lot of different things and, well, here we are. It's been a learning experience.”

Tobirama said nothing then save for a soft hum. He looked at Iruka for a long time though. Like he was taking Iruka apart, one layer of skin after the other, like he didn't just do the exact same thing the night before.

Iruka didn't mind. He may have fidgeted and blushed. He'd be a liar though if he said he didn't enjoy being looked at like that. Hungrily. Predatorily.

Iruka would dare even say possessively.

If he kissed Tobirama like a thing starved once they were inside Tobirama’s blue (super, very cool) Maserati, well. He shouldn't be judged for it.

Not that Tobirama complained. He did grab Iruka by the chin and cheek and smirked at him like he was amused by something though. Which did Iruka’s libido no favors. They ended up somewhere by the door of Tobirama's apartment and...

Aaaaaanyway.

The dates.

Yes. 

Iruka valued them. Treasured them. Especially because it really is nice to be treated like he's some sort of delicate prince. Not that he's delicate per se. Not at all. But the point is, Iruka finds himself enjoying the small things Tobirama does as a complete gentleman - opening doors for him (including the car, yes), holding his hand or tucking Iruka under his shoulder in a protective manner while they walk. Or when he takes Iruka out for a sweet treat! Tobirama always walks on the pavement with him being on the side of oncoming traffic. He always pulls out a chair for Iruka, too. 

The more Tobirama treats him like he's a person walking in the same plane of existence as everyone else, that he's more than just a hole for Tobirama’s ginormous (amazing, beautiful) dick, the more Iruka gives Tobirama himself. The more Iruka wants to please him in return. The more he wants to be on his knees for this hand over heart, decent human being.

And it's only been date number five.

Then again, Iruka has always been a firm believer of the whole, do right by me and show me respect and I'll give you the entire universe.

Iruka does not want to miss this date. He wants his date number six, okay?

But as he stands there, pacing desperately to keep warm because he's soaking wet now, he knows he’s not going to make it. 

From a distance, a pair of headlights glows and illuminates the empty road. Iruka stares at it and whoops with joy when he sees it's the tow truck, yes!

He is going to probably make it!

*

“I don't think I'll make it,” Iruka says, thumping his head on the wall of the garage. “I'm so, so very sorry Daddy-”

Wait.

Waaaaaait!

No, no, they did not discuss this. They did not agree on calling Tobirama Daddy outside the bedroom. Never assume things! Rewind and undo!

“- Tobirama-san. My scooter broke down and I had to wait for the tow truck and it's just…” Iruka looks at the mechanic trying to get his scooter to start. “Even if I get home now, I don't think I'll make it. I'm so, so sorry. I know you probably already made reservations. Can I get a rain check?”

“Where are you right now?”

Butt fuck who even knows?

Iruka looks around. “Ah, I'm not entirely sure where exactly but definitely Toma West. I'm just waiting to see if they can get my scooter to start. It may take a while.”

“Send me your location. I'll come get you.”

Iruka’s eyes would have popped out if that were physically possible. “A-Ah! No, no, Tobirama-san! That's too much! I'm on the other side of town! I'll be okay!”

“Iruka.” Tobirama does not sound like he wants to discuss this. Oh boy. “Send me your location.”

Everything in Iruka wants to protest because this is just wrong and not right. 

But then everything in him screams like a frenzied buffoon to fucking obey.

Iruka thumps his head on the nearest wall and folds, confirming a yes and sending Tobirama his location.

He needs to start treading carefully now.

Waters are starting to get pretty murky like the rain puddles around him.

*

Time of death is announced to be 8:17 PM. 

Iruka swears he feels a tear trickle down the side of his cheek as he crouches next to his beloved scooter that only served him for so, so many years. Attempting to fix it means replacing the entire engine which means paying almost the same amount for a brand new one.

As much as Iruka does not want to let go of his precious and much cherished scooter, he knows that this time, it's goodbye.

Sending it off to the junkyard gets him a small amount. It would have been just enough for a taxi ride from where he is to his apartment. Maybe.

Iruka sighs, watching the mechanic wheel his scooter away and out of sight.

Iruka is in the middle of wiping his tablet with some tissues to wrap it in a plastic bag for extra protection when the sound of shoes on wet concrete makes him look up where he's crouched by the portable heater in the garage and finds Tobirama standing there. 

For a moment, a non-existent breeze blows against him, ruffling his hair and billowing his coat and the scarf like he's some sort of super hero, standing there by the door, the backdrop of the distant city lights glowing behind his back. One moment, Tobirama is by the door, the next he's beside Iruka, a furrow between his brows, entire handsome face looking… upset?

A warm hand presses on the nape of Iruka's neck, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

“You're like ice,” Tobirama says, the frown deepening on his face as he quickly shucks his coat off, draping it around Iruka’s shoulders. The scarf around his neck is looped around Iruka’s neck too. “Come on. Let's get you home.”

Iruka isn't sure what it is about the whole situation that makes something in his stomach and chest do… something. Not quite twist like he wants to vomit. But not quite burn like he wants to suck Tobirama’s cock.

But as he is settled on the leather seat (his protests about the leather getting ruined promptly ignored and silenced with a look), Iruka finds himself thinking if this is what all those stories meant about being saved.

Well. It's no disaster or ransom-kidnapping kind of saving. Just stranded in a garage and the rain. But still. Not everyone can be soooooo overly dramatic.

*

Iruka nods off on his own sofa, warm and full because Daddy's apartment was the closest and Tobirama is… well. He's just nice.

While Iruka showered the hottest shower his body is capable of withstanding, Tobirama ordered them both a warm meal. He even asked for extra hot sauce for Iruka’s rice bowl. Which may have left Iruka feeling just a little fuzzy because see? It's these little things! Tobirama noticed how Iruka likes spicy food and is considerate enough to remember getting him hot sauce!

“Come on,” Tobirama says, tugging Iruka up and off his sofa, leading him towards bedroom which only has the most heavenly mattress in existence. “Get in bed. Rest. You've had a long night.”

“I'm so sorry,” Iruka says, still feeling like a bonehead for having ruined their night. 

He's also very tired. 

“Stop apologizing. These things happen. We can always reschedule our date. What's important right now is that you're safe and out of the rain,” Tobirama says, pushing Iruka into bed. “It's not all gone to waste. We had dinner just now, hmm?”

Iruka drops his head on his pillow with a sigh, closing his eyes. “I know, you're right…”

“Good boy,” Tobirama murmurs softly, brushing Iruka's hair off his face.

Iruka looks up at Tobirama in perhaps a bit of a daze at the gentle praise. Tobirama has the sleeves of his turtleneck rolled up to his forearms which Iruka may or may not have a very big weakness for.

“I can be better,” Iruka offers, reaching out for Tobirama’s hand. 

“Not tonight,” Tobirama gently says, taking Iruka's hand. “But let's see about tomorrow, hmm? You think you can be good for me till then?”

Iruka will be good every single minute if it means getting to orbit around the great Tobirama sun.

Okay. Just, slow down a little with that, yeah?

Iruka nods weakly. Helplessly. 

Bright side though! 

Tomorrow, hopefully, will be a good day.

*

Iruka hoped wrong.

He sneezes for the seventh time in the past five minutes before he makes his way to the pantry to make himself a cup of tea. His throat is itchy, he has a headache hanging at the back of his eyeballs and he's tired. So, so tired. Tobirama was kind enough to wash and dry his clothes, which is what he has on again because there was no time to go home and change.

He is not having a good day.

He is not happy this morning.

The only thing great about that day is the phone call he got from Tobirama earlier to check up on him. It was so sweet that Iruka had forgotten just how shit his morning is for about the three minutes; Tobirama and he agreed to have an early dinner later on. They are to meet in the lobby.

It is the only thing Iruka is looking forward to.

7:00 PM seemed so far away all of a sudden.

Iruka sneezes again. 

Damn. He should ask Anko if she's got paracetamol or some sort of cold-tablet in that kitchen sink of a bag she calls a purse.

*

A little before 7:00 PM though, Iruka gets a text:

I'm going to be about fifteen minutes late. I'll be down as soon as I can. 

Okay! No worries! ( ˙▿˙ )

Which is fine because that gives Iruka’s body a little more time for his second dose of flu-tablets to kick in. At least he isn't sneezing every five minutes anymore. And the headache is more or less gone. 

Iruka reclines in his swivel chair, closing his eyes tiredly. A part of him thinks he should cancel the date and just go home. Sleep this off, maybe drink about a gallon more of very concentrated ginger tea. Daddyrama would understand.

But then he doesn't want to cancel it either. Iruka really really, whole heartedly wants to spend time with Tobirama, even if it's just dinner!

A cup of hot coffee might help. Caffeine and all.

Iruka sighs, pushes himself off his feet and trudges his way to the elevators.

Just as a text message dings and a name that never fails to light up Iruka’s day no matter when, where and how.

Guess who is in the lobby cafe? (¬‿¬ )

*

The moment Iruka gets past the turnstiles, he sees him.

Six feet tall, in his jeans, boots, knitted beanie hat, scarf, bomber jacket, and carefully groomed beard stands his older brother. And by older brother meaning Iruka was adopted at the tender age of five. Iruka’s father was one of the investors of Sarutobi Contractors. When the accident happened, Hiruzen fostered Iruka only to decide in the end to adopt him all together. Only because Asuma had gotten far too close to the bony little picky-eater of a kid who didn't understand why his parents were being put in the ground when they were just coming back from an onsen trip!

And Asuma, well. He had just lost his mother. 

It had been pure serendipity that they got along having found solace in each other after a great loss. Asuma found someone to take care of after the passing of his mother, grief channeled into trying to help this new kid adjust. Iruka found an anchor to hold on to in the shape of a stronger, steadier hand to hold him.

Iruka was a crutch to Asuma growing up after watching his mother waste away from disease (cancer), just as Asuma was a crutch to Iruka during the sudden change of his world.

Still is.

Iruka hasn't seen Asuma since last New Year’s

With Hiruzen retiring soon, Asuma is required to travel to various places in the country to oversee multiple construction projects. The distance between them in terms of not seeing each other has only yawned wider as the years passed.

But when the small window of opportunity presents itself, like right now as Iruka runs towards Asuma like fucking five year old, it's like they never left their family home or were separated by career and school at all.

Iruka is lifted off his feet in the tightest, fullest, biggest hug there is. Iruka laughs and embraces Asuma as tight as he can, the smell of tobacco and woodsy musk filling his nose. They remain like that, embracing each other so tightly like nobody is watching before Asuma sets Iruka down and cups him by the neck, Iruka grinning up at him, hands on his forearms.

“What are you doing here!” Iruka asks. “Why didn't you tell me earlier! I would have taken the day off!”

“I miss you too,” Asuma says, smiling just as widely before he tilts his head and drags a palm up to Iruka’s cheek. “You're a little warm.”

“I am?” Iruka blinks his head. “They do have the heater at full blast in the office. It's also colder here. Must be the change of temperature.”

Asuma’s eyebrows go up and disappear under the beanie cap. Both of Asuma’s hands cup his face, giving it a little shake.  “I don't know. You're a bit red. Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm okay. Really. Much better now. I am so happy to see you!”

“Come here,” Asuma mutters, rolling his eyes and wrapping arms around Iruka in an even tighter hug. “Why don't you have a scarf? It's freezing.”

“I was late and left in a rush,” Iruka mumbles.

Asuma snorts. “Still burning the midnight oil, hmm?”

“I have a lot of projects, too!” 

“Yes, yes,” Asuma grumbles, releasing Iruka and unwrapping the scarf from around his neck to loop it securely around Iruka’s neck. “As always, I showed up just in time. It was drizzling earlier. It's probably going to pour and –”

Iruka’s eyes widens suddenly when a hand curls around his shoulder, pale fingers tightening in what Iruka swears is a possessive hold, as the smell of forest after a rainfall surrounds Iruka like a bubble. Iruka stumbles half a step as he is all but yanked (civilly) away from Asuma.

“Excuse me?” Asuma asks, looking Tobirama up and down, eyebrows going up but shoulders lining with tension. “Iruka, you know this guy?”

To say Iruka is surprised would be an understatement. He did not expect this. At all. For a moment, Iruka is far too stunned to say anything, staring up at Tobirama owlishly, lips parted in what can only be a look of shock. 

“Iruka, who is this?” Tobirama asks, something in his voice that Iruka isn't quite sure what to make of.

Asuma clicks his tongue, adjusting his stance, a look of something severely unimpressed tugging at his features, looking ready to just slap the pale hand off of Iruka’s shoulder, because what the actual fuck.

The sound of that tongue click is what conks Iruka back to the current plane of existence and he quickly stands between the two of them. “Ah, this is Senju Tobirama-san. My -”

My what. 

Shit.

Oh shit.

Asuma looks at Iruka in surprise. “Boyfriend?”

Iruka stiffens and squawks, “Nii-san!”

Tobirama’s gaze snaps at Iruka then, blinking. “Nii-san?” In an instant, whatever charged air that hangs over their heads dissipates as Tobirama visibly relaxes and turns to Asuma. “You must be Asuma-san.”

Asuma hums and bows his head politely in a proper show of greeting, like his earlier displeasure didn't happen at all. “Sarutobi Asuma. Good to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Tobirama says, with a dip of the head. 

“How long are you in town for?” Iruka asks. 

“Not long. I leave Friday morning,” Asuma says, rubbing the back of his head. 

Oh.

It's not long at all.

They literally have tonight, the next day and whatever that's left of Friday before Asuma’s flight. 

Iruka’s shoulders visibly slump in disappointment.

Iruka rarely sees Asuma anymore. Sure, Asuma is only around for business and their mornings all the way to late evening will be occupied because they're responsible adults. Iruka wants to maximize his time with Asuma as much as possible.

But then there’s his Daddy - no. No, no. Not his official Daddy. His date Daddy. Sex Daddy?

Nevermind.

There's Tobirama. Who Iruka really, really wants to spend time around with too. Iruka looks up at Tobirama briefly, missing how Asuma looks between Iruka and Tobirama. “I'm not interrupting a date, am I?”

“No,” Tobirama smoothly responds, surprising Iruka. “It's nothing we can't reschedule. You should spend time with your brother.”

Iruka would swoon if he was the kind of guy to swoon. He smiles up at Tobirama, something grateful in his eyes as he takes Tobirama’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. 

“Come with us. If you don't mind me, that is,” Asuma offers.

Iruka nods only to catch himself because wait. Wouldn't this technically fall under the whole meeting-the-family-thing? Iruka tenses immediately because that little nod might have come off wrong. The last thing Iruka wants is to pressure Tobirama on such things even though… well. It's five dates since the sixth one didn't fully happen but he supposes, five dates and half isn't much. 

Even though they've been getting to know each other for the past six months. Over seven months now since Iruka asked him out for that first dinner.

Iruka didn't think he'd ever been this happy.

Being with Tobirama is just perfection. 

Iruka can't find a single fault.

Which makes this predicament hard; Iruka can't choose between the two most important men in his life.

No.

Noooooo!

Tobirama? Most important? What even? They haven't even had their sixth date! This isn't right. Iruka looks up at Tobirama's profile like he's seeing him for the first time. He's looked at that very profile so many times. He's fallen asleep to it, body parts heavy from pleasure, mind floating high above the clouds, blood coursing with drunken bliss. Except it's not alcohol but Tobirama’s cock. And cum. His kisses. His praises. The sound of his voice when he comes, when murmurs baby boy with… it's not affection. Fondness maybe because they had fun. But affection might be overreaching. 

Or expecting something that might not really be there.

“I appreciate the invitation, Asuma-san but unfortunately, I can't,” Tobirama says, and gently squeezes Iruka’s hand. “We will reschedule. You both should spend as much time as you can together.”

Iruka nods woodenly, as Tobirama looks at him and gives him the smallest of smiles. 

Something warm and tender slithers in between Iruka’s ribs. It expands his chest and well fuck all things good and holy, Iruka knows what this is.

He's so, soooooo fucking screwed. 

Great.

*

After several take out containers from Asuma’s favorite hole in the wall izakaya, Asuma leans against the wall under the window by Iruka’s bed, his elbow propped on a pillow and rolled futon beside him. 

Iruka's place now is a lot better than the other apartment he shared with Daichi, the good for nothing piece of shit. He saw the asshole one day at a club on the other side of Fire a year ago, another guy on his lap, openly making out with said guy when Asuma knew he and Iruka must have been on rocky footing but still together from what Asuma remembered at the time. The next time Asuma saw Iruka which was about a few days later, Iruka didn't look happy. A little withdrawn, looking off at a distance, distracted, always so busy, definitely ragged.

It wasn't something Asuma liked seeing on Iruka, who is always just doing his best to do right by everyone around him, without really caring much for himself.

Asuma may or may not have grabbed Daichi by the collar and dragged him outside the club for a stern what the fuck are you doing conversation. There may have been a shove. Even though he had been soooooo tempted to beat the fucker black and blue. He never understood what the hell Iruka saw in Daichi.

Or even Mizuki back then.

Asuma didn't hide it. He told Iruka immediately. Told him to sort shit out with his boyfriend.

In the end the fucker just vanished - fucking coward!

It’s like Iruka is a walking asshole magnet.

Asuma shouldn't be blamed if he thinks this - this man may just be an asshole too. 

“So Tobirama-san?” Asuma prompts, after a comfortable silence falls between them now that he's given Iruka an update on how he and Kurenai are doing. 

Iruka blushes, dimples dotting his cheeks.

Oh boy.

Asuma’s shoulders slump.

He knows that damn look.

Asuma takes a long swig of his beer.

“He's really nice, Nii-san,” Iruka murmurs, staring at his beer can. “The perfect Daddy.”

And the beer spits out in a spray.

“Fuck!” Asuma pinches his nose, his eyes watering as he stares at Iruka in shock and horror - he did not just hear that! He did not! “What did you just say? Daddy?”

Iruka turns even redder, cheeks puffing and looking away - no.

No, no, no, no - no fucking way!

Asuma isn't the kind of guy who cringes at things. He's no sweet angel and he's definitely not a prude. He and Kurenai likes to try a lot of things. 

But to hear his sweet, nice, kindhearted and soft baby brother call someone Daddy! Iruka, who he practically raised. Who was attached to Asuma’s hip all the way to middle school. Iruka who still complains-texts him to this day or vents when he's frustrated, or still sends him funny comics the same way he would give Asuma little drawings on pieces of torn notebook paper when he had been younger and budding as an artist. Asuma kept most of them in a small shoebox in his room in their family home. His sweet little brother who used to hide in his blanket after a bad dream, or when it rained and he knew the lights might flicker or the lightning will follow. 

When did he even get into the whole - Asuma presses the heels of his palms to his temple, as if in doing so he can erase what he just heard.

“Iruka - what - is he making you call him that?” Asuma all but not-quite-yells. From shock okay? From shock!

“N-No…” Iruka mutters, blushing even redder.

Somehow, Asuma finds that hard to believe.

Especially with what happened earlier that night. 

Tobirama all but plucked Iruka away from Asuma like he had every right. 

Like how a Daddy would - noooooooooooo! No! Stop it!

“Iruka, he looks a lot older than you!” Asuma helplessly says. 

“He's only thirty-nine…” Iruka says, turning to give Asuma a look.

Aduma’s voice, with reason, goes up an octave. “Thirty nine? ” His jaw drops. Tobirama is fifteen years older than Iruka! He is eleven years older than Asuma! “Isn't he ancient for you!”

“He most certainly is not! Being ageist is frowned upon, Nii-san! Stop that at once! He does not look thirty-nine! He looks younger than you!” Iruka crosses his arms.

“What!”

“He is not old!”

“He's fifteen years your senior!”

“He takes very good care of me, okay? He treats me very well! He is kind, and - and romantic and very sweet! He is a complete gentleman and considerate! He listens and pays attention to me! He's really, really nice! The nicest person I've been with…”

Asuma stares at Iruka like he's just said he discovered aliens. 

“My scooter broke down last night. He drove all the way to Toma West, yes from Business Bay, and brought me home. He didn't have to. I told him not to. But he did. No one's done that for me.”

Asuma continues to stare.

He didn't have the heart to tell Iruka that he's been with scums of the earth, that's why.

Normal people would drive across the country if they cared about someone. Asuma certainly would for Kurenai, his father and Iruka of course.

Okay. Maybe… maybe he can give Tobirama about half a point.

“How long have you been dating the guy?” Asuma asks, incredulous. Iruka murmurs a response and if Asuma stared any harder, he'd pull a Medusa and Iruka would turn to stone. “What did you say?”

“We've gone on five dates…”

So he heard right. Five  fucking dates! Fuck.

“And you already call him Daddy?” Asuma squawks like a strangled seagull.

Iruka stares at his hands. “I didn't mean for that to slip out. I really like him.”

All kinds of images flare in Asuma’s mind. His poor, sweet Iruka tied up in shibari and being spanked. His little baby brother being forced to wear some sort of frilly maid outfit and prance around before an old man - who demands such things! His little brother wearing some sort of collar and being a shy sex kitten - Asuma mentally starts to screech.

Who is your Daddy, Tobirama probably asks his kind, sweetheart of a brother. Call me Daddy, Tobirama probably demands of his hardworking brother.

Asuma almost wants to weep.

He does so. In his heart.

Why and how and when did Iruka even get into the whole - gods!

“You have something harder than beer?” Asuma manages to choke out. 

“I have half a bottle of vodka…”

“Go get it.”

Maybe drinking all of it would help the Daddy medicine go down. 

Chapter Text

It does not.

It soooooo does not!

Even with his entire reality careening side to side like a sailboat being tossed about a stormy sea, Asuma can still hear the outright adoration in Iruka’s voice. Along with the might as well be lurid descriptions of just how Tobirama kisses him so passionately. And then, Iruka laughed and rubbed a spot on his neck that Asuma didn’t really notice until it happened. When the neckline of Iruka’s old wash-worn gray t-shirt tugs down, it reveals a very, very, veeeeeery large bite. What the fuck is this old man even – a fucking animal?!

It’s huge! Dark purple and not even blue yet! So it’s fresh!

Asuma can quite literally feel his soul unraveling. If his soul were a scarf, then that perverted old man is the insistent finger at the end of the woolen knot tugging it free, leaving nothing but noodle yarns dangling – the remnants of Asuma’s soul as a caring, doting and protective older brother.

Okay. Okay! Asuma gets it. Tobirama kisses so passionately. Tobirama’s lips are amazing. Tobirama can make Iruka forget the world exists like no one ever has. Tobirama almost feels like he completes Iruka in a way Iruka didn’t even think he needed to be completed – what the actual fuck, it’s been five fucking dates! And seven to eight months of conversations during lunch time or whatever time in a café combined with said dates! In a lobby!

What!

Asuma stares at Iruka mooning like a thing so far gone at the ceiling, a glazed look in his eyes that it definitely not just from vodka (and the beer earlier), but likely from the memories of said magical-unicorn otherworldly kisses.

“And Nii-san, his cock —“

Asuma dives forward, clamping a hand firmly over Iruka’s mouth. “Shhhhhh! No! Please no! I do not need to know! If you love me at all, you will not use the word cock and Tobirama in the same sentence! No!”

Iruka dopily looks at him, eyes scrunching in what Asuma knows is a smile (fucking loving smile, good heavens) and nods. When Asuma tentatively pulls his hand away, Iruka looks at him with what can only be described as joyful, a soft glow of happiness in his eyes, the kind that makes the gold specs in its dark, amber depths glow just a touch brighter.

Oh no…

“I love him, Nii-san,” Iruka says, with such sincerity that it makes an ache go through Asuma.

Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen Iruka (physically) in a long time – it has been almost a year.

Iruka had to move to this part of Fire when he got the full time job at Acid Rain, when prior to that, Iruka could only get a small free-lance job here and there. He had been so very happy and excited with the job offer, so very determined to prove and show to both Asuma and Hiruzen that he can stand on his feet, that he can manage, that the money Hiruzen paid for his tuition fees through college wasn’t a dead investment, that he isn’t a block of lead freeloading in the Sarutobi household, that he just strapped his sturdiest boots and marched right into the heart of Konoha. Maybe it’s because they don’t live in the same house anymore. But when they used to and Iruka was still dating Daishit before he moved out to share an apartment with said Daishit, things were a lot easier to read when it comes to Iruka’s feelings. And predict. Asuma knew exactly when things started to go wrong, and it was already wrong before Iruka moved in with Daishit.

He used to say he loved Daishit, too. And before him, Mizuscum as well.

And now this.

There is, however, a certain kind of reverence this time in the way Iruka says it – I love him.

Iruka always did love too hard, too fast, too quick. 

Iruka always gave everything his all, including his romantic relationships. Statistics, however, has proven that Iruka always gave himself to the shittiest of the shittiest asshole-trash to walk the earth.  Now here’s this thing (yet again). This very possessive – if their first encounter was anything to go by – old man who’s got Iruka wrapped around his old man pinky finger. Iruka was always a bit of a doormat when it came to love. He was always drawing the shorter straw, so to speak. A poor judge of character because Iruka is just that soft hearted. So selfless and kind and continuously handing out free passes of forgiveness and patience to people who truly did not deserve it at all. People who would walk all over him as if he were a pedestrian crossing in Konoha’s Central Crossing.

Until one day – too slow, too late, after all the damage – Iruka gets fed up and then there’s just no turning back.

Asuma wishes with every fiber of his being that the whole getting fed up thing would come sooner rather than later. Iruka didn’t deserve to suffer, when he really is all that’s good in the world pushed into one human body.

“I really do,” Iruka says, his expression dropping as he looks down at his lap. “You think he’d ever want me? I’m not really much, you know?”

Asuma refuses to answer that.

Absolutely, totally, completely refuses to.

Because anyone would be lucky to have Iruka. Anyone would be blessed to have Iruka by their side. Iruka does not fall under the 'not really much' category. He's more like in the 'everything that's good in the world' category.

It's the alcohol, Asuma knows.

And all the damage and crushed confidence and sense of self worth Mizuscum and Daishit left behind. Round three might just be the breaking point if Jerkirama turns out to be a bad egg too. 

“Ask me again when you’re sober,” Asuma says, cupping Iruka’s face and squeezing his cheeks, forcing his lips into fish-lips. “Come on. You have work tomorrow. Get in bed.”

Asuma releases Iruka’s cheeks and pats the bed.

Iruka grunts and crawls up and into his bed, going out like a light with a sigh the moment his head hits the pillow.

Asuma watches him sleep – mouth wide open, cheek smooshed into the pillow, not unlike the way Iruka used to as a child – and sighs.

He’d take every ounce of heartache off Iruka if he could. Which Asuma knows deep in his bones might just be around the corner again with this Senju Tobirama person. Five dates in and Iruka is already saying he loves him. Five dates and Iruka had fallen hard. Asuma has seen Iruka in love – he can’t say he has seen him look quite like this.

Fucking hell.

If this goes south – which it probably will because Iruka always, always stupidly shoves all his eggs into one fucking basket – it’s probably going to be messy.

Asuma rubs his temples and unrolls his futon, settling in for the night.

Maybe once the sex (uuuuuuggggggghhhhhh) sort of slows down or something, Iruka can revisit his I-love-him claims.

Asuma can’t fight all of Iruka’s battles as much as he wants to. He can’t keep his little brother safe forever no matter how much he wants to. Iruka wouldn’t grow as a person if he didn’t make his own mistakes and learn from them.

There’s just… so many times a person can be hurt before they turn cold. And that is the thing Asuma doesn’t want at all. He can only hope that being the safety net to catch Iruka would be enough.

Hopefully.

That and maybe he should start thinking of murder if push comes to shove. He’s had it with assholes. 

Threats to fess up and a punch to the face just isn’t going to cut it this time.

*

Asuma wakes up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bread being toasted. He also wakes up to the sound of Iruka’s soft voice from the other end of the small apartment, past the bookshelf separating the bedroom from the living room of the small studio. And that voice, his sweet, baby brother’s voice sound so… so goddamn gone when he says:

“I miss you so very much, Daddy.”

Asuma rolls his still sleep heavy eyes because, well, excuuuuuuse me for interrupting your five-going-on-six-dates-long relationship – gods!

“Of course I do! You know I do, Daddy.”

Asuma thumps his head once on the pillow. Must Iruka say Daddy at the end of each sentence?

“O-Oh! Oh, Daddy, that’s –“

Oh fuck.

“Yes, Daddy. I’ll be a good boy for you. I’ll be good and then you promise to give me your cum?”

That’s it!

That is fucking it!

A good fucking boy?! Promise to give me your cum?! 

What is Tobirama?! A broken fire hydrant that would just spray Iruka with – noooooo! Noooooo! No, no, no, no!

Asuma thumps over to where Iruka is by the kitchenette like King Kong, giving fuck all if the neighbors downstairs hears his burgeoning steps. Iruka looks like he’s seen a ghost at the sight of Asuma’s approach. And just as quick as the color drains from Iruka’s face, said lovely, kind, sweet face lights up to a bright red – well, would you fucking look at that.

“I’ll call you back, Daddy – okay, bye~” Iruka hangs up and sets the phone aside, pupils darting left and right, as Asuma tries not to let the screech of the most avid protest in his head escape past his mouth.

There is no going back from this.

Nothing in the whole world is ever going to get rid of the seared trauma of having heard his beloved baby fucking brother say promise to give me your cum to an old man!

“How much did you hear?” Iruka tentatively and embarrassedly asks.

Asuma grunts, nose wrinkling and going as white as a ghost.

His face must have said it all. Because Iruka picks up the mug of coffee from the counter and offers it sheepishly and apologetically like an olive branch.

“Coffee~? They're your favorite beans?”

Asuma grabs the cup and stomps his way back to the other side of the small studio, where he proceeds to burn his esophagus with said hot coffee while he continues to mourn the death of his beloved brother’s innocence.

Promise to give me your cum.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

*

To be fair, Iruka does his absolute best to cheer Asuma up for the next three days.

Iruka takes him out for dinner to all of his favorite spots including a new restaurant, two new bars, a hookah lounge that serves Wind delicacies, and treats him to a late night movie. Iruka makes sure to pack him a generous bento and goes as far as making Asuma octopus sausages and a scoop of rice shaped into a smiling bird. Iruka went on a spree at one point in making cute bentos in middle school. And if Asuma is being honest, Iruka makes great bentos. Between the two of them, Iruka learned most of Hiruzen’s recipes.

He also made sure to make Asuma’s favorite orange-cinnamon flavored French toast every morning.

As far as apologies for trauma goes, it’s a lovely effort. Then again, any and all effort from Iruka is always – without fail – a great, lovely effort.

It’s just too bad Asuma still cannot unhear promise to give me your cum and I’ll be a good boy for you.

Their time together however, is too short but not without promise.

Three days of work has yielded good results. Asuma is able to secure the tender for the project. Which means:

“I’ll be around a few days a week. Two days at a time, if not three,” Asuma says, that early morning as they sit in a cozy café for breakfast that Iruka insists on because they make great croissant-sandwiches. Iruka was not wrong. Asuma ate two.

(What? He's 190 centimeters tall. A big guy! Hah! He’s taller than Jerkirama! Bahaha! Take that, old man!)

The way Iruka’s face lights up almost makes Asuma forgive him for the trauma.

“That’s wonderful, Nii-san!” Iruka reaches out and takes Asuma’s hand in his, giving it a long, warm squeeze. “I’m glad you won the project bid! But more than that, I’m happier I’ll get to see you more often!”

“Me too,” Asuma says, returning the squeeze just as Iruka’s phone vibrates with an incoming law.

The name Daddyrama appears on the screen. As does a selfie of said Daddyrama.

Daddyrama?!

Really?!

Asuma can’t help but twitch, as Iruka looks at his phone and retracts his hands. “I’m going to take this.”

Asuma grunts grumpily, which earns him a fond smile as Iruka stands up and steps outside the café to take the call.

Asuma watches Iruka speak to freaking Daddyrama, watches Iruka smile as warm as the sun in the sky, so taken, so happy, both dimples dotting his cheeks, as he laughs and grins cheekily, speaking openly and so very in love that Asuma can do nothing but swallow, something tightening in his chest in the wake of Iruka’s unbidden joy.

Even from far, anyone with eyes would know that Iruka is talking to someone dear to him.

And then Iruka just had to blush, shoulders rounding in what looks like a demure expression (when Iruka is clearly anything but – a knowledge Asuma could have done without, thank you!) and Asuma knows that Tobirama must be saying something absolutely filthy.

Surely Jerkirama knows Iruka is in public.

Surely Jerkirama isn’t that deaf or whatever it is old people suffer from as they age when the loud honking of the morning traffic is right there.

Surely!

Iruka chuckles behind a hand, flushing even redder and then says something that makes him bite his lower lip and Asuma just wants to throw himself in front of the city’s high velocity buses. 

No. Make that the bullet train, instead.

The knowledge of that expression too is something Asuma could have definitely done without.

Asuma rubs his temples, just tearing his gaze away from his far-too-gone little brother and drinks all of his coffee. He drinks all of Iruka’s too, in a stomach ulcer inducing single swig.

When Iruka returns, the happy flush on his cheeks doesn’t fade as he finishes the rest of his pancakes.

“You really like this guy, don’t you?” Asuma murmurs, watching as Iruka’s dimples hollow deeper and he nods. “Look, Iruka, it’s not my business who you date. But please just be careful this time?”

A look of disappointment and hurt crosses Iruka’s face, which makes Asuma hold a hand up. “Nii-san…”

“Not because he’s old or anything, even though you’re not going to change my mind about that, don’t even try. But because…” Asuma reaches out and takes Iruka’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I can see how much you like him. And whoever you choose, you know I will always support you. I want to see you happy and I only want what’s best for you. I’m just saying, get to know the guy some more and have a little extra self-awareness for red flags, okay? That’s all I ask.”

Iruka swallows and looks down at Asuma’s hands, nodding slowly. “Okay…”

“I don’t want to go to prison,” Asuma says. “Which I will if I kill the guy, you know?”

Iruka snorts. “Please, Nii-san.”

“I’m serious.” Asuma frowns. “Father would be soooooo upset.”

Iruka rolls his eyes but smiles fondly at Asuma. “I promise to be careful.”

“That’s all I ask,” Asuma says, squeezing Iruka’s hand and waving at the server for a coffee refill. “So the project is going to take about two years to complete without factoring in payment delays from the client. Did I tell you?”

Iruka hums, nodding. “You mentioned that.”

“Since I’ll be around more, I was wondering if you’d be opposed to sharing a bigger apartment,” Asuma says, holding a hand up when Iruka stares at him like Asuma just told him he’s won the lottery. “It’s just an option I wanted to put forward, we don’t have to. I’m just offering in case you wanted more space—“

“When?” Iruka asks.

Asuma blinks rapidly – well that was quick.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, but maybe you should think this over a little more? You are in a relationship and while I’m not going to be here all week, and rarely during the weekends, it is still a shared space. Think about that—“

“If you’re worried about Daddy coming over, don’t worry. We are always at his apartment when we have sex—“

Asuma buries his face in his hands. “Iruka…”

“What?” Iruka harrumphs. “Oh stop acting like a prude. You act like I haven’t heard you and Kurenai-san go at it—”

“Okay. Okay! I get it!” Asuma says, perhaps a touch squeakily.

“I’ll think about it if that makes you feel better, fine.” Iruka says, crossing his arms over his chest as the server refills both their cups. “I don’t see the point but because you have such delicate constitutions, I will.”

Asuma stares. Delicate what now! He most certainly is not delicate!

“I will send you options. Hopefully I can find something that isn’t too far from the project site and Business Bay.”

The look of determination in Iruka’s eyes is undeniable.

Asuma sighs.

Oh well.

*

Asuma gives Iruka one last very tight embrace on the train platform, practically forcing Iruka on his tiptoes.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Nii-san,” Iruka says, that ache already blooming in his chest that never ceases to make itself known every single time has to say goodbye to either Asuma or Hiruzen. It’s hard, living on opposite ends of the country.

“You’ll get tired of me in a month or so,” Asuma says, setting Iruka back down on his feet and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Three days isn’t much but I’m glad we spent time together.”

“Me too, Nii-san,” Iruka says. “Give my best to Otou-san. Tell him I miss him so, so much.”

“I will,” Asuma says, smooshing Iruka’s cheeks together. “All right, I’m gonna go. You’ll take care of the rental?”

“I’ll drop it off on the way to the office. Don’t worry,” Iruka says, watching as Asuma picks up his small rolling-suitcase and turns for the train door. “Text me, okay!”

Asuma hums, nodding.

Iruka watches him disappear for a moment and reappear by the window.

Iruka doesn’t leave until the train does.

*

Iruka gets rained on – fucking hell – again as he steps into the office having run all the way from the train station to the Sun Tower. A part of him wishes he kept the rental for a little longer but, well, that’s done and gone. No point crying over spilt milk.

He managed to dodge the cold the last time he got rained on when his scooter died its poor, mournful death. Hopefully he can dodge this too if he guzzles enough citron tea throughout the day and takes paracetamol every four hours.

He is not missing his evening dinner date with Tobirama.

No fucking way.

*

Well.

Their date ends up being take out at Tobirama’s apartment and Iruka lying naked on his bed, sated and dazed, cum dripping down his ass even though most of it remains plugged in by Tobirama’s still buried deep cock, as Tobirama continues to kiss him slowly, taking his time.

“Such a good boy for me,” Tobirama murmurs, the words as soft as velvet when they brush upon Iruka’s lips, tearing a shaky whimper out of Iruka’s throat. “Do you want more, baby boy? You want more of Daddy’s cum?”

Iruka can only moan softly, shuddering when he feels Tobirama’s cock start to swell with arousal once more, a choked, hoarse yes, his voice gone from when Tobirama had all but put fucked him against the kitchen counter the first time, but not before he made Iruka come five times in quick successions when he mercilessly massaged Iruka’s prostate and reduced him to nothing but a heavy pile of limbs, unable to form words, unable to see clearly before him, tears of pleasure scorching down his cheeks before Tobirama finally – finally – gave Iruka his cock.

Iruka has never felt more complete than when he has Tobirama buried deep in him.

Tobirama kisses him again, deeper this time, a hand wrapping around Iruka’s throat, squeezing gently until the doorbell rings.

Their take-out is here.

Why can’t the delivery man be stuck longer in fucking traffic! It’s not even ten in the evening on a fucking Friday!

Iruka sobs when he realizes what that means, shaking his head in protest and reaching out for Tobirama who hushes him gently when he slides his cock out of Iruka’s spasming ass, setting free the flow of cum that wets the bed, thick and white that makes Tobirama hum like he’s pleased, as presses a kiss to Iruka’s knee.

“Just a minute, baby. Don’t worry. Daddy will be back,” Tobirama says, and leaves Iruka right there in the middle of the bed, shaking and needy, far too gone and deep into subspace to control his emotions and his outright pitiful begging cries of Daddy.

It couldn’t have been more than a minute, between Tobirama quickly covering up with a robe and returning to the bed.

It could have been mere seconds.

But several days apart, several days of not being in Tobirama’s arms, of completely and unconditionally surrendering to him knowing deep in his bones that he’d be completely safe – that minute or few seconds or whatever the fuck feels even longer.

Tobirama fills him with his thick, hard cock again after he flips Iruka on his hands and knees, tearing out a tearful hoarse scream out of Iruka’s lungs, each thrust making Iruka go blind, the headboard before him blurring as Daddy, Daddy, Daddy jerks past his lips with each pound of Tobirama’s cock.

Like this, Iruka is whole.

He can’t think of a better place to be than around Tobirama’s cock.

*

“Were you jealous of Nii-san?”

The question comes out hoarse and thick.

Iruka is curled up in bed, his body aching in a way he’s so very much missed, staring out the window as he listens to Tobirama’s breathing and heartbeat, cum dripping out of his ass and drying on his chest and hair. Iruka is a mess. Tobirama ensured to reduce him to the filthiest thing possible on earth.

Iruka has never been happier.

Their dinner is probably too cold by now. Nothing a microwave can’t fix, though.

Tobirama hums but doesn’t verbally answer for a few seconds. “Yes.”

Iruka huffs a soft sound of amusement, sitting up so he can look at Tobirama, who stares back at him with a look that – surprise, surprise – makes Iruka’s stomach flip several times like a gymnast putting on their best performance in the Olympics.

Well.

Iruka didn’t expect such a candid admission.

But ooooookay.

“I didn’t know he was your brother,” Tobirama says, tilting his head on the pillow, a palm coming up to cup Iruka’s cheek. “I don’t like seeing other people touching you. I do not want anyone else’s hands on you.”

Iruka stares. Ohhhhhhkay? Is he hearing this right? For real?!

“I want you to be mine completely,” Tobirama murmurs, gaze brushing over Iruka’s blushing face, thumb tracing the bottom seam of Iruka’s lips. “I want this to be only mine. All of you to be mine.”

Which really isn’t much, Iruka thinks, as he continues to stare in shock because, “O-Oh…”

Tobirama carefully eases Iruka over him completely, wrapping arms around his body, holding him very close. “I’d like to take care of you, if you’d let me. What do you think of that?”

Iruka has to think first to actually respond.

Which he does.

Very hard.

And then with all the intelligence in the world, farts out a, “Like a Daddy-boyfriend?”

Tobirama’s smile is a little wider than his usual ones. It’s softer too, peppered with just a little amusement. Maybe a little adoration. Iruka isn’t sure. He may just be seeing things given he’s still cock-drunk with the orgasms from earlier. “Like a Daddy-boyfriend.”

Iruka would punch himself in the face if he had the energy, just to make sure this isn’t a post-amazing-fucking-sex dream.

“You – You really want me? Officially?” Iruka asks, and maybe it comes out a little pitiful. A little small. A little too soft and uncertain because. Well. Realistically, Iruka can want all he wants, but it doesn’t necessarily always mean the other party would want him back, let alone want more.

“I wouldn’t waste my time on someone I didn’t want. I thought you knew that by now.”

What was it Asuma was saying? Something about self awareness and being careful and getting to know Daddyrama more and things?

Yeah…

Well, fuck that noise.

Blind sky-dive no parachute leap of faith it is!

“Then I’m all yours, Daddy,” Iruka says, his smile absolutely incandescent.

When they finally – eventually – get to dinner much, muuuuuuch later, they discuss their conditions and limits and form an agreement. Their needs turn out to be quite mutual.

Loyalty. Honesty. Communication. Words of affirmation. Physical affection.

Iruka can see no fault in having Daddyrama as his Daddy-Boyfriend.

At all.

*

When Asuma reads the text the next morning, as he descends the stairs of the Sarutobi family home, he looses his footing and comes tumbling down right on his ass – good fucking fuck!

Daddyrama is officially my boyfriend~

(´꒳`)♡

 Asuma picks himself up from the bottom of the landing (ignoring Hiruzen who cranes himself backwards from his chair in the dining room breakfast table to look at him with raised eyebrows), and calls Iruka immediately.

Who picks up with a hoarse, “Hi Nii-san!”

“What did I say about self-awareness and why the fuck are you hoarse?! Are you sick?!”

Iruka’s cheeky laughter makes Asuma wishes he never fucking asked.

Why?

Just whyyyyyy?!