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Chapter Text

Seonghwa was nine the first time he saw a pirate get executed.

He remembers his parents fighting about it. They argued often, so most memories of their disagreements were long gone from his mind, but he could recall every detail of that whole day very vividly. Including the fight.

He remembers his mother crying, saying he was too young to attend the public hanging, that they’d be time for it in the future.

He remembers his father’s answer: “I was younger than him the first time I witnessed my first hanging, Seojun. I see younger children in the audience all the time. You’ve sheltered him, he needs to learn how the world works or he’ll never last a day in the Navy. He’s too soft. He’s becoming a man soon, he needs to toughen up. He’s coming with us and that’s final.”

He remembers feeling excited (he was becoming a man soon!), even though he didn't know what the rest of the conversation actually meant. He hadn’t known what he was about to witness, he had no idea of the kind of impact that day would have in his development as a man.

He remembers the noise of bells echoing in the distance before the execution, the loud buzz of the crowd that had gathered around the elevated platform they had placed in the docks – insults and curses he hadn’t understood at the time being yelled from every direction.

He remembers standing next to his father on the podium, holding his hand in overwhelmed stupor, unsure of what was going to happen next and questioning why they were part of the small group of people on top of the structure. 

He recalls a lot of things about that day, but nothing tops the clarity of the memories he has of the man who was about to die in front of his eyes.

He remembers the way they had pulled him out of a cage and up to the platform, dragging him on the floor every time he lost his footing and fell to the ground. He remembers his disheveled look, the way his long hair was tangled and as dirty as the rest of him. 

He remembers the heated look on his eyes, the way he had turned to look at his father with pure ire shining in his gaze, silently staring at him for a long time before turning to face the crowd with his head held high.

“Why did that man look at you like that?” he had asked his father.

“Don’t make that mistake, Seonghwa. He might look like a man, but he’s not. He’s a pirate, a monster. This is his punishment for the bad, bad things he’s done,” had been the reply.

Seonghwa had known his father was a hero, an admiral of the Korean Navy, for a long time by that point. He had grown up hearing stories of the monsters he caught during his travels out in the sea, of the way he saved lives and made sure families like theirs stayed safe and with food on their tables. 

He remembers looking at the man in confusion, thinking that he did kind of look like a very bad man, but very different from the monsters he had envisioned in his mind for all his short life.

He also remembers the way they had tied the rope around his neck as they read the long list of crimes he hadn’t fully understood. He remembers the way they had asked for any last words, only to receive silence in exchange, before pushing him off of the ladder to fall into his death. He remembers the noises the man made as he struggled for his life, before they stopped completely. He remembers the way his body swayed in the air amid the excited cheers of the crowd.

He remembers the way his heart had sped up inside his chest, the nausea that had consumed his body. He remembers the way he had screamed and cried in fear, trying to hide his face against his father’s chest, only to be forcefully pushed away and made to watch the scene in front of his eyes.

He remembers seeing the pirate’s rotten corpse trapped inside the rusty cage that had been placed in the same spot where he had been hanged. Out in the open, for months on end, where every sailor could see what happened to the men who decided to become monsters.

–

Seonghwa was twelve the day he finally understood his father’s words.

The admiral always believed his mother and his sisters were a bad influence on him, that being surrounded by women while he was away at sea was making Seonghwa too soft. He thought being with the men at the base would help his son balance out the excessive presence of the women in his life, so he would take him to the Navy’s Headquarters with him every time he was back on land. 

His father would always disappear once they got there, leaving Seonghwa behind with whoever was available to look after him that day. He would rotate with different people over the years, but he would spend most of his time with Lieutenant Lee Dongho, a condecorated officer who had been honorably discharged from the line of duty after losing one of his legs during a pirate attack. 

Seonghwa didn’t mind being left behind, though, he really liked Lieutenant Lee. He always treated him with respect and kindness, and he complimented his intelligence and his silent nature quite often. He was younger than the other officers and he had a deep interest in the more strategic side of war, so he taught the pre-teen a lot about naval strategy and how to avoid the inherent dangers of the ocean. He would also tell Seonghwa about the adventures he’d lived in his travels, fascinating stories of exotic women and heroic victories against lowly pirates.

Seonghwa had always known that he’d be enlisting at 16 so he could become an admiral of the Korean Navy, like his father (and his father before him), so hearing Lieutenant Lee talk about his feats made him feel nervous but excited for the future. He was going to become a hero like his father, like Lieutenant Lee, like the rest of these men. He’d sail to far away lands, meet beautiful women, and defeat the monsters that threaten the peace of his country and its people. 

He really liked being at the Navy’s Headquarters, because he felt like he was learning a lot from the people he met there. He felt like he was becoming the man he was supposed to be, the kind of man his family would be finally proud of. 

Seonghwa had been with Lieutenant Lee that fateful day too, the day he finally understood his father's words. They had been sitting down on the man’s desk in the otherwise empty collective office, leaning over old reports and strategy books, when the door flung open and a couple of officers he recognized walked in with a man he’d never seen before.

The man looked clean and well-dressed, but his face was bruised and full of small cuts. The officers spoke with him in another language, probably Japanese, and treated him with obvious respect even though his hands were handcuffed in front of him. Curious, the pre-teen turned to Lieutenant Lee to ask who the man was in a whisper.

“That’s Adachi Horigome, an alleged pirate waiting for trial,” the other man explained.

Seonghwa felt his heart speed up in his chest.

“Why is he here?” he asked, horrified. “That’s a pirate! Shouldn’t he be locked away in a cell? He’s a monster!”

Lieutenant Lee laughed. 

“Kid, pirates aren’t monsters, they’re as human as you and I. They’re just men who make bad choices,” he explained. “He’s a former officer of the Japanese Navy, an educated and influential man. We separate people like him from the rest of their crew. They, as honorable gentlemen, give their word that they won’t try to escape and they’re granted some liberties in return. Right now, he’s just a fellow officer waiting for trial, a guest.”

Seonghwa couldn’t believe his ears. “How can a pirate be an honorable gentleman? And a former member of the Navy too? I can’t think of a bigger betrayal to your country, to your honor as a military man.” 

Lieutenant Lee laughed once again. “You sound like your father. Don’t worry, we’ve done this many times before. I need to talk to him for a moment, stay here and keep reading what we were working on. I’ll quizz you about it later.”

Seonghwa had felt panic rise up inside of him, but didn’t try to stop the man from getting closer to the pirate.

He didn’t go back to reading the book they had been looking at either. He stared intently at the interaction in front of his eyes, feeling tense and prepared to get involved at any moment, if necessary. Everybody else seemed to be walking around that pirate without any worries and he felt extremely confused. What kind of treatment was that? Did his father know about this? Seonghwa had trouble believing he would be okay with such a thing.

Nothing seemed to happen for a while, Lieutenant Lee talked calmly with the pirate, who replied in an equally relaxed manner. They both looked at the papers the officer had spread on the table in front of them, reading line by line before Lee handed him a quill so he could sign the space he was pointing to with his finger.

Things happened really quickly after that.

So fast that it took the pre-teen a really long time to notice that the pirate had pushed the quill deep into Lieutenant Lee’s neck, before immediately pulling it out and attacking the man who was standing next to him with it.

Seonghwa screamed, bringing the man’s attention to himself. He watched, completely frozen, as the man ran towards him with the makeshift weapon high in the air, ready to attack him next. Before he could even try to move away, the noise of a shot echoed in the room, and he felt blood splash over his face as the man fell down barely a meter away from him.

He doesn’t remember what happened after the attack, the whole thing looks blurry in his mind.

He could recall the memory of him standing next to his parents while they lowered Lieutenant Lee’s dead body to the ground with extreme clarity, though.

That was the day he finally understood that pirates might look like men, but they’re not. They were just monsters with a human face, creatures without any honor who will stab you in the back even after they promised not to. 

–

Seonghwa was sixteen the first time he saw him.

He hadn’t been a cadet for long at that point, but none of the other trainees seemed to like him very much, so he spent a lot of time on his own. Since he didn’t have anything to do when he wasn’t training, he’d spend most of his free time doing meaningless tasks around the headquarters, offering a helping hand to whoever needed it. He’d grown up in these rooms, surrounded by these people, so he felt comfortable just sitting down and reading through the reports and books he could find piled up on every desk of every room. 

That was by far his favorite part of his future job: the research, the strategy, the planning, the organized set of practices.

He had been reading a Japanese book on naval strategy in a corner, using the opportunity to improve his vocabulary and gain fluency in the other language, when someone came to fetch him.

“Seonghwa, can you do me a favor?” the officer said, handing him a bunch of papers. “Could you bring this to Lieutenant Kim, please? He’s somewhere at the base.” 

The teenager was quick to accept the task, always happy to be of assistance. He walked over to the base and looked around for Lieutenant Kim for a long time, only to find out from another cadet that he was down in the dungeons.

Seonghwa had only been in the dungeons a couple of times before, but he wasn’t surprised to see that the jail cells were at full capacity. They’d had quite a successful ‘hunting season’, as his father calls it, and pirates had been apprehended all over the Korean coast.

He located Lieutenant Kim and gave him the papers before curiously looking into the cells, disgust coiling in his stomach at the dirty stench in the air but also from being in the mere presence of these monsters. 

He hadn’t seen many pirates up close in his life, but he feels like he’s seen enough to learn that these vile creatures didn’t deserve the air they had in their lungs.

He was about to turn around and leave when he noticed a lump in the corner of a cell, so small that he hadn’t noticed it before.

A child.

The teenager gasped slightly.

Why is there a child inside the cell?

He looked small and scrawny, his body shaking aggressively where it was curled up on the floor, trying to conserve heat against the cold stone. 

As if sensing his gaze, the kid looked up and stared straight into his eyes.

Seonghwa gasped once again.

The boy was so dirty that he could barely see the skin underneath the grime, but his gaze was so intense that it made the teenager feel like he was staring into his soul and reading every single one of his thoughts.

He felt so flustered that he averted his gaze straight away, bidding the officers in the room his farewell before rushing to the door.

Seonghwa couldn’t help but look at the kid once again before leaving, only to find him staring right back at him, a smirk visible on his face.

The teenager gulped and left gracelessly, feeling haunted by the intense gaze and the playful smirk.

It took him two days to go back to the dungeon – not because he hadn’t wanted to go earlier, but because he couldn’t find a proper excuse that would explain his presence there.

He decided fate wanted to help him out when an officer came looking for him, asking him if he was free and willing to take some food back to the base to feed the prisoners. Seonghwa had quickly agreed, eagerly grabbing the container with the porridge and the wooden bowls the other man had handed him.

He wasn’t sure why, but he felt the urge to see the kid again. He could barely remember any other features besides his eyes and his smirk, yet he couldn’t get any of those things out of his head.

He had tried to subtly fish for information about him, desperate to know more about the child who was chained up in the dungers next to lowly pirates, but he had been unsuccessful in his research. He knew that the kid had done something wrong, something bad enough to grant him a place in a cell. He knew he was most likely a pirate, considering he was in a naval prison, but Seonghwa had never seen one so young. He felt equally curious and enraged at the prospect of a child getting dragged into such debauchery.

The teenager could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest as he descended down to the dungeons, preparing himself to face the boy.

He greeted the guard at the entrance and explained why he was there, showing him the bowls and the container.

He purposely left the cell where the kid was for last, feeling more and more nervous as he went on. When he finally got there, the child was already staring at him through the bars. He was much closer to the door than the rest of the pirates had been, chain stretched out as far as it could go, and Seonghwa felt hesitant to get closer – even though the door was closed and there were bars between them.

“I was hoping I’d see you again,” the kid said with a raspy voice, mouth curved around a smirk.

The teenager took a breath, surprised that the other had spoken in clear and fluent Korean. He had assumed he was Japanese or even Chinese, like most of the pirates who ended up in this prison.

He didn’t look as young from this short distance. He was still small and scrawny, although not as much as he’d initially thought, but the slight mature angles on his face made Seonghwa believe he was probably around his own age.

“You’re even more beautiful up close,” the boy added, his smirk growing even more. “I’ve been locked up with these old, ugly mutts for so long. I want to thank you for the opportunity to look at a pretty thing like you.”

Seonghwa’s hands stopped what they were doing.

Beautiful. Pretty.

He’s heard those words directed at him many times before. Terms meant for women, used against him as insults – as a way to undermine and ridicule his manhood, to imply that he was underneath the other men.

Even random teenage pirates make fun of you, Park Seonghwa.

His distaste must have shown in his face, because the other teen was quick to laugh.

“I’ve never seen someone look so insulted after being complimented. Is it because we’re both men? Or is it because you think those words are womanly? I’m not going to call you handsome, you’re way beyond that,” he said, biting his chapped lip while he thought about it for a moment. “What about gorgeous? I think that suits you. I’ll call you gorgeous. Unless you want to tell me your actual name, I’d very much prefer that.”

Seonghwa stared at him in silence for a few more seconds before he finished pouring the porridge in the bowls, pushing them all inside the cell so the other boy and the rest of the prisoners could eat it.

The teenager felt flustered, he didn’t know what he’d been expecting from the so-called ‘kid’, but this definitely wasn’t it. He felt embarrassed and stupid for ever believing the boy could be an innocent soul who might need his help.

A pirate is a pirate, no matter the age.

He finished what he had to do and left quickly, trying to ignore the sound of the other teenager’s laughter echoing around the room as he made his hasty retreat.

After that, much to his dismay, he unofficially became the person in charge of feeding the prisoners.

For the next two weeks, the other teenager would be waiting for him by the door of his cell, smirking and greeting him with a “Hello, gorgeous. How are you doing today?”. He always ‘complimented’ his looks and asked about his day, his interests, his family, his opinion on teenage ‘sailors’ who were going to become captains soon. He asked for his name every day, but never offered his own in return. He never mentioned any kind of information about himself at all, in fact.

Seonghwa never replied nor went along with his unfunny little game, but the other boy didn’t seem to mind much. He kept talking at him during the whole process of preparing the food for every cell. 

Everybody else in the room seemed to find the whole thing completely hilarious, much to his embarrassment. The guards and other pirates watched their interactions with amusement and Seonghwa felt like everybody but him were in on the joke, because that’s how it always went.

He had (unwillingly) gotten so used to the daily ‘hello, gorgeous’, ‘goodbye, gorgeous’ and incessant chatting, that he had to stop in shock the day he walked into the dungeon and found the cell where the other teenager used to be completely empty. 

He didn’t even have time to ask before the guard answered his unvoiced question: “They rescheduled his trial date at the last minute. His whole crew was sentenced today.”

Seonghwa stared into the empty cell for a few seconds before nodding and preparing the meals for the remaining prisoners.

He felt relieved. He wouldn’t have to deal with the annoying teen anymore, he wouldn’t have to suffer his teasing and his jokes. He wouldn’t have to endure the turmoil of confusing feelings he had every day after leaving the prison.

The boy was a pirate and pirates deserve to be punished, no matter the age.

He ignored the other myriad of emotions hiding under the relief. The hidden feelings that made him attend the next couple of hangings, just to see if he could spot long light brown hair among the convicts sentenced to die.

He kept feeding the prisoners for a while after that, and soon the memories of the boy were buried under the faces of dozens of other pirates, leaving behind a faint image of deep eyes and a playful smirk.

–

Seonghwa was nineteen the second time he saw him.

He had been part of a naval convoy sent out to sail next to a merchant ship containing precious cargo, but now they were on their way back to Korea after spending a couple of days of leisure in Japan.

He had just been an ensign at the time but he had been out in the ocean many times before, so he knew exactly what it meant when a lieutenant on board had come to speak to the commander at the lunch table.

“Sir, there are two ships ahead of us. There’s no open fire, but it looks like a pirate attack.”

It hadn’t been his first time dealing with pirates and it hadn’t even been a particularly gruesome battle, but the memory was bright in his mind for other reasons.

They had come closer to the ships, situating themselves on the other side of the merchant vessel and jumping on board as soon as they were close enough. The pirates were already on their way out, pillage done and merchants safely locked under the deck.

There were enough pirates left on the ship to incite a small fight. Seonghwa had always preferred fighting against these people with swords, finding other kinds of weapons to be slow and inconvenient, especially considering most buccaneers didn’t carry firearms with them. 

That's why he had been trying to reduce a pirate with his blade so he could apprehend him alive, when another one attacked him from the side, pushing him off his colleague and using his weight to trap him against the floor, sword flying away from his hand. He quickly went to grab the knife situated on his waist but the pirate used his free hand to press his other arm against the wood. Seonghwa panicked, trying to use the strength of his body to push him off, but found that the other man was surprisingly strong for his size.

He stopped struggling and accepted his destiny, looking up to stare into the face of the man who was about to kill him, just to freeze the moment their eyes met.

I know you.

The pirate was looking at him just as intently, and Seonghwa had the feeling he was trying to recall where he’d seen him before too. The ensign felt a spark of recognition in the back of his mind, but couldn’t pinpoint exactly why the other man looked so familiar.

School? Former cadet? A prisoner?

Before he could dig deeper or even try to use the distraction to push him off, the pirate smirked, and all the pieces fell back into place in Seonghwa’s head at the sight of that cocky smile.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

The boy.

He knew instantly that the man on top of him was the teenager he’d met years prior in that cold cell, and clearly the pirate recognized him too.

Seonghwa didn’t have time to do anything with that information because, only a second later, the man winked at him and got up, running back into the pirate vessel that was already leaving the scene.

He stayed there for a moment, laying on the floor and trying to process what had just happened, before someone yelled at him to get up and help them deal with the pirates that had been apprehended.

That smirk haunted him for a while afterwards, but he ended up forgetting about the pirate once again, memories fading into the back of his head.

–

Seonghwa was twenty-one when he officially met Kim Hongjoong.

It had been during one of his first missions as a lieutenant. They had been convoying a merchant ship once again, and he had been particularly frustrated with his commander at the time.

“Sir, I really think we should avoid this route. It’ll save us time but it’s a much bigger risk, these waters are infested with pirates and the fog keeps getting thicker the more we sail in this direction,” he had tried to explain for the tenth time.

“I’d like you to stop insisting, Lieutenant Park. I know all of that perfectly well, that’s precisely why we’re here. No pirate is stupid enough to attack a merchant ship that is being convoyed by a military vessel, especially in such a thick fog. I’m afraid I’ll have to reconsider the whip if you bring it up one more time.”

Seonghwa pressed his lips together before saying: “Understood, sir.”

It’s not that he enjoyed going up against the authority of the ship, but sometimes he felt forced to speak up for the sake of the wellbeing of the whole crew and the ships they protected. He knew what he was talking about: he had read a lot about thousands of both successful and failed strategies, and he himself had been on hundreds of journeys by that point. He had made it to lieutenant for a reason and he was tired of being pushed aside because people didn’t take him seriously.

But he’s also been flogged before for his disobedience so he wasn’t going to push it anymore.

Time would end up telling that he had been right all along, after all.

Because just a few days later, he was violently awakened by the sound of cannon balls firing up in the dead of night. He got up with a gasp, hearing the loud sounds of yelled orders and destruction spread through the vessel, before running upstairs, trying to find the commander.

The firing had stopped but it had been enough to make part of the ship fall apart, so he had to avoid getting crushed by falling pieces of wood on two occasions before he reached the deck.

He found the rest of the officers preparing the boats to be dropped on the water.

“What’s going on?” he yelled the moment he was within hearing distance from the commander.

“We have to abandon the ship. They managed to sneak on us undetected, we’re unable to make visual contact and it’s too late to prepare the cannons. They seem to be focusing the attack sorely on us so we’re going to use the boats to get to the merchant vessel. Go grab all the important documentation that can’t fall into the enemy's hands and get into one of the boats quickly.”

Seonghwa felt panic rise up inside of him. He’d never had to abandon his ship in all his years in the naval forces, there was no way they were going to make it to the other vessel safely. A pirate crazy enough to attack the Navy directly wasn’t going to stop there, they were going to kill them all. 

“NOW, Lieutenant Park,” yelled the commander.

Seonghwa snapped out of his stupor and ran to the commander’s cabin to follow the instructions, looking over the edge of the deck to try to pinpoint the shape of the enemy ship, but failing to see anything at all.

How? How did they do this in such a thick fog? There’s no way they can see our location.

For the first time in a long time, he found himself thinking that there was no way these pirates were actual men with human capacities.

He frantically went through all the documents he could find on the desk of the commander, piling them up and trying to ignore the obvious sounds of the fight that had broken out upstairs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, chastising himself for losing his composure like this. If he was going to die today, he'd die like a man. Like the lieutenant he is.

He had almost gathered everything he needed when he heard clear steps walking towards the cabin. He stared at the door for a moment, heart beating fast in his chest, before he quickly looked around the table for something he could use as a weapon, feeling some semblance of relief when he found a small knife tucked away in one of the drawers. 

Better than nothing.

The door flung open seconds later and he raised the knife, ready to die fighting. He found a tall man standing on the other side, holding a sword in front of him. He stared at Seonghwa for a moment before laughing. “I’m afraid I’m going to need you to drop that and come here,” the man said.

“Shut up, pirate. I might die today but you’re coming with me,” he said, knife raised high in the air.

The man laughed again. “Nobody needs to die today, we just want your weapons. All you need to do is drop that and behave like a good boy, okay? I’ll escort you to the boats so you can leave with the rest of your people. No need to die if you do this without fighting back.”

He was about to curse him out when a new voice interrupted them:

“Yunho.”

The man turned around and looked behind him before stepping aside and letting the newcomer come into the cabin. Seonghwa and the new pirate stared at each other for a moment before a laugh broke the silence.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

The lieutenant didn’t even need the familiar words to leave the other man’s mouth in order to recognize him. He knew that smirk by now. 

“I’d love to celebrate our reunion but I’m a bit busy right now. Would you be so kind as to come here and accompany me outside so you can join your brothers in arms in the boats? I promise I won’t hurt you if you do as I say. You have my word.”

Seonghwa snorted. “You’re mad if you think I’m going to trust the word of a pirate.”

The pirate chuckled and put his sword inside the scabbard before grabbing a pistol from inside his furry coat and pointing it at the lieutenant. “I’m afraid you have no other choice.”

Seonghwa stood straight and lifted his head high, knife still gripped tightly in his raised hand. The pirate sighed and the smirk disappeared from his face.

“I don’t have time for games. Stay still or I’ll shoot you,” he said, coming closer with the gun pointed at him until he was close enough to grab the weapon from his hand, taking the knife and putting it inside his own coat. “Come on, gorgeous. You’re coming with me.”

He grabbed Seonghwa’s arm and pulled him from behind the table, dragging him to the door with the pistol still pointed at him. The tall man was still there, watching them closely with his sword raised high, ready to intervene if it was necessary.

All three of them left the commander’s cabin and headed upstairs, where the lieutenant assumed he’d find the rest of his mates lined up and ready to be executed. 

“I apologize for ambushing you like this in the middle of the night. We’re a newly established crew and we really need your weapons. It’s nothing personal, we chose your vessel because we noticed most of your gunports were closed, so it was obvious you weren’t expecting an attack. That was a stupid choice. Never sail these waters unprepared.”

Seonghwa stared at him with incredulous eyes. 

Is he seriously giving me tips? Who does he think he is?

He looked at him for a moment, storing away his face features, the shade of his long light brown hair, the tone of his voice. The pirate stared back into his eyes for a second and smirked.

That fucking smirk.

“Seems like destiny keeps pushing us together. Since this is our third meeting, I’m going to properly introduce myself: my name is Kim Hongjoong. Captain Kim Hongjoong now. See? I told you I was going to become a captain.”

Seonghwa didn’t notice that he had been staring the whole time until his foot hit something while walking and he stumbled slightly. 

“Careful, gorgeous,” the pirate said playfully. “Aren’t you going to tell me your name?”

He still doesn't know why he did it, maybe it was the rush of blood pumping hard in his body, but at that moment he answered the question he had ignored for weeks when he was a teenager.

“I’m Lieutenant Park Seonghwa. Stop treating me like we’re old friends, Captain.”

The pirate turned to look at him once again and his smirk lost some of its edge, the arrogance turning into something different.

“Ah, that title sounds particularly good coming from your lips. I wouldn’t mind hearing it more often, too bad we’ve chosen such different paths.”

The pirate dragged Seonghwa to the edge of the ship, where he could see his fellow sailors lining up to go down the rope to the boats that had safely made it to the water. They had guns and swords being pointed at them, but otherwise seemed unharmed.

“Off you go, Lieutenant Park Seonghwa. Don’t do anything stupid now, just get on the boat and leave,” said the pirate, dropping his arm before giving him a push in the right direction, pistol still pointing to his head.

The lieutenant stared at him once more before doing what he asked and moving to stand next in line, behind his commander.

“Well, it was a pleasure doing business with you, Commander. We won’t follow the other vessel or try to attack your boats before you get there. I give you my word as a captain,” said Kim Hongjoong.

“I’m trusting your word, Captain,” replied his commander.

Seonghwa had to bite his tongue to stop himself from insulting the pirate.

Him and the rest of the sailors made it down the rope and into the boats safely, before heading in the direction of the merchant vessel that was floating close by.

The lieutenant could see the pirates moving quickly as they rowed away, transfering the weapons and cannons between ships.

He was aware that they had been terribly lucky, but the relief he felt was unable to crush the embarrassment coiling inside of him. 

They had just been completely ambushed by pirates, and a newly formed crew that seemed to be around his age at that. These rookies had attacked a navy vessel completely undetected and had taken control of their ship in a really short amount of time without using barely any violence.

He felt embarrassed. He felt mortified. He’d resign from his position if he were the commander in charge.

He could already imagine the face his father was going to make when he found out that his son had to abandon ship and run away like a coward during one of his first missions as a lieutenant. He would probably strike him across the face and he deserved it.

He felt the rage take over the shame as they boarded the merchant ship and turned it around to set course back to Korea.

Everybody else seemed to move on from that shameful attack fairly quickly, but he just couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried.

He knew these things happened all the time. Pirates were monsters but most of them weren’t stupid, they didn’t want to add ‘murder of members of the Navy’ to their already damaging lists of crimes. He knew that in a rational way, but he just couldn’t get past it.

There are very specific things he’d had to endure to become the person he is today. Things that have marked his journey as a man, as a sailor. He’s dealt with his father’s disappointment, he’s suffered hate and ridicule from his peers, he’s come face to face with the worst kinds of monsters humanity can offer, he's even looked Death directly in the eyes on several occasions.

Yet, very few things have shaken him up the way Captain Kim Hongjoong has.

–

Seonghwa was twenty-three the day he promised himself he would be Kim Hongjoong’s downfall.

After the embarrassing attack, he became completely obsessed with the captain and his crew.

He learned everything he could about Kim Hongjoong, about his ship. It didn’t take him long to find out that the captain had called his vessel the Aurora , which was an extremely odd choice for a pirate ship, but Seonghwa supposed it fit them well enough because they seemed to be an extremely odd crew.

The Aurora was basically a ghost ship, never engaging with the Navy at all after that first time and opting for swiftly robbing small merchant ships instead. They rarely used violence and they never took prisoners with them to sell them as slaves. Overall, they were very harmless in comparison with some of the other pirates they had to deal with, and that’s why his superiors never seemed to share his fervent desire to bring them down.

“They’re not a priority, Lieutenant Park. We have much bigger problems on our hands, as you already know. We have Japanese pirates literally destroying coastal cities in Jeolla and Gyeongsang, and they’ve started to migrate northwards to the Chungcheong and Gyeonggi areas. Besides the disruption to the trade and the destruction of our cities, we’re seeing hundreds of innocent Korean souls being sold as slaves overseas. We can’t afford to waste resources and manpower trying to chase such a small, insignificant ship right now.”

Seonghwa knew all of that. He was working really hard to prevent all of that from happening. He risked his own life to get out there and apprehend these monsters every day, he knew what they were capable of better than most. He had many scars that proved it.

He just couldn’t get the Aurora and its captain out of his head.

Even after the years passed and his obsession seemed to calm down a bit, he never forgot about the pirate.

By age 23, he had become Commander Park Seonghwa and he had gained the respect of his fellow army men thanks to his participation in the gruesome war against the Japanese pirates who had been causing terror among the Korean coast. He was seen as professional and ruthless, one of the best strategists in the country’s Navy.

Even his father seemed to be proud of him.

He had a lot of responsibilities on his plate as a commander, and he did his duty digillently, but he always kept track of the Aurora.

It was such an open secret that everybody would go to him every time they came across the vessel, and reports from merchants who had been robbed by Kim Hongjoong’s crew always ended up on his desk.

He would keep an eye out during his travels, mission after mission, year after year, trying to catch wind of the small ship – but they had only crossed paths twice after that fateful, embarrassing day.

The first time, he didn’t even get the chance to come face to face with the captain because the Aurora had made an impressive speedy retreat the moment they saw them coming, leaving the heavy naval vessel behind in a matter of hours.

The second time, they had accidentally come across the Aurora while they were in the middle of a battle with another (bigger) pirate ship. Seonghwa and his crew had quickly boarded the unknown vessel from the unoccupied side, finding a real carnage there.

Finding Captain Kim Hongjoong there. 

He had been fighting the other ship’s captain, blood on his furry coat and swords clashing among the noise of the battle, so he didn’t seem to notice the arrival of the Navy at first.

Seonghwa lost track of him for a moment while he was trying to fight pirates off himself, but found that the captain was already staring at him by the time he was able to look up again.

Kim Hongjoong had bowed dramatically at him (with that fucking smirk on his face) before whistling loudly and turning around to go back to his ship, easily stabbing a pirate that tried to stop him in the way. Seonghwa had looked around, and after making sure that his own crew were holding their own, he ran after the captain.

Just like the pirate, the commander used the ropes that were connecting both vessels to jump on the deck of the Aurora. The captain cursed when he saw him and raised the sword:

"Lieutenant Gorgeous, you really have the worst timing possible," he said with a light laugh but the tension of his posture gave him away.

Seonghwa raised his own sword. "That's Commander Park Seonghwa for you, pirate."

“Well, congratulations on the promotion!” he said playfully before his eyes gained a darker feeling, the smirk disappearing from his face. “But I’m afraid I need you to leave my ship right now.” 

Before the commander knew what was happening, the pirate had thrown himself at him, sword falling quickly on him. Seonghwa was quick to put his own weapon in the way, successfully blocking the attack, but he moved a few steps back with the force of the blow.

The pirate kept charging against him over and over, but Seonghwa noticed, embarrassingly, that he clearly was holding himself back from seriously hurting him. 

“Fight like a man, I don’t need your pity!” he yelled, swinging his blade violently and seeing with glee that he had managed to leave a clear, bloody cut on the other man’s chest.

The captain took a step back and groaned, but recovered quickly and attacked him with the sword once more. “There’s no pity, you’re a worthy opponent. I just don’t want to go around with a target that says ‘I murdered a navy sailor’ on my back, I hope you’ll understand.”

Distracted by the conversation and the euphoria of a successful blow, he hadn’t even noticed the rope carelessly left on the floor until he stumbled because of it. The pirate used the momentary diversion to charge against him with own body, making the commander fall to ground and drop the sword.

A second pirate appeared out of nowhere and they both used the rope he had fallen onto to quickly tie him up. Seonghwa cursed at them and tried to struggle, but they overpowered him easily enough.

“Is the rope still attached to the other ship?” the captain asked as he expertly wrapped the cord around him.

“Yeah,” his companion quickly replied.

“I’m afraid this is where we have to say goodbye, but it’s always a pleasure to see your beautiful face. Hopefully we can meet each other in different circumstances next time, Commander Gorgeous,” Kim Hongjoong said, pulling tightly on the end of the rope to secure it around him. “Help me out.”

Both pirates lifted him up and pushed him back roughly. Without really understanding what was going on, Seonghwa gasped when he noticed there wasn’t any wood under his feet anymore and that he was falling down fast towards the water.

The rope that was tightly wrapped around him stopped him from crashing into the sea and pushed him violently against the side of the ship, making him groan as the impact made instant pain spread through his body.

He blacked out for a moment, but the Aurora was swiftly running away from the scene when he regained consciousness.

Frustration, shame and rage consumed him, and he screamed loudly into the expanse of the ocean, cursing Captain Kim Hongjoong in all the languages he knew.

He was tied up, hanging from an unknown ship.

That fucking pirate had made him look like a fool again.

He was a condecorated commander of the Korean Navy, he’d fought against much deadlier opponents than Kim Hongjoong and won, but yet again he had been completely humiliated by the filthy pirate twice.

For some reason, the man had the ability to just make him lose his composure every single time.

Seonghwa held back the tears that started to build up in his eyes due to the pain and the frustration.

He was going to catch that fucking pirate even if was the last thing he ever did.

–

Commander Park Seonghwa stared intently at the papers in front of him, quill in hand, as he tried to figure out the best way to summarize everything he needed to say in Japanese.

He had been in Japan for about a week now, as part of a special diplomatic mission sent out to discuss the ongoing problem of piracy. The increasing proliferation of violence in the maritime trade was becoming a huge problem for the area and it was creating tensions between China, Korea and Japan.

Seonghwa had become one of the main strategists behind the war against piracy, so he had been invited as the naval expert of the Korean side. He had been trying to be a good representative of his country’s Navy during the whole trip, but being part of diplomatic conversations had turned out to be much harder than he expected.

Nobody seemed to agree with his idea of just bombing Japanese pirate bases (after evacuating all the innocent citizens, obviously), so things were moving at an extremely slow pace for his taste.

He pulled his hair in annoyance and sighed. 

His life had been particularly frustrating lately. He felt at his limit.

He was stuck in a foreign country, running in circles around useless diplomatic negotiations that didn't seem to go anywhere. Still, he’d much rather be here than home right now.

Things with his father were tense. Or like, tenser than usual.

Seonghwa was 25 now, way past marriage age. His parents had slowly grown more and more concerned at his lack of interest in getting married and forming a family, and the commander felt a different kind of frustration looming over his head.

He had done a lot of things in life just to make his father happy. In a way, he’s built his whole life around stuff that would make him proud, but he felt a deep sense of anxiety when he thought about the prospect of doing this one thing just to fulfill his role as a good son.

Seonghwa was…different.

He had tried courting women, perfectly nice and lovely ladies that his mother threw his way, but he just felt emptiness and anxiety when he thought of spending the rest of his life with any of them.

He had slept with prostitutes, sexy women who were well-versed in the arts of pleasuring men, but he never seemed to find the experience to be as remarkable as his colleagues seemed to imply it was. The encounters had been pleasant enough, but he didn’t consider them that exceptional – it definitely wasn’t something that made him want to desperately go back to them once they were back on land like some of his fellow sailors did.

For a long time, he had thought that he just hadn’t found the right woman, that everything would fall into place once he met someone who would make him lose his senses and become his whole world. 

That naive belief slowly disappeared over the years.

He would never confess it out loud, he could barely admit it to his own self, but he knew where the issue laid. It was something that he pushed into the back of his mind, something that he chose to ignore. Something that made him feel ashamed, like he had failed as a man. Something that brought back all the insults and the degradation he had endured all his life, from his father, from his peers, from himself.

Sometimes, in his weakest moments, he looked at other men in ways he shouldn’t.

He never explored those urges, pushing the desires deep within himself the moment they flourished instead, but he knew they were there – even if he tried to hide it.

Seonghwa knew he had to get married at some point. He’d have to find a woman that would make a good fit for a man in his position and have children. He’d have to spend the rest of his life laying next to her in their marital bed, ashamed of his inability to care for her the way he should. With a bit of luck, he’ll learn to want her in the right ways, even if he knows deep down that he’ll never be able to do that.

A knock on the door shook him out of his daydreams and made him spill ink on the paper by accident. He muttered a curse and headed to the door, finding the lieutenant they assigned for him in this mission on the other side.

“Good evening, sir. I’m going to go out to eat something and I assume you haven’t had dinner yet,” he said.

The commander didn’t like him too much. They’ve worked together a couple of times before and he finds the other man to be unprofessional and too prone to treat him like they’re in the same rank just because they’re of similar age. He was right though, he hadn’t had dinner yet and he didn’t want to be seen alone in a place like this, so he agreed. He grabbed his long, white coat and left the room, walking behind the other man.

They were in Tsushima Island right now, the most notorious pirate base of the country. He objectively knew that many innocent and hardworking Japanese people lived in this piece of rocky land, but he still felt on high alert at the idea that he was in pirate territory.

“The food we had at the last place didn’t agree with me. I saw a different tavern on our way to the Mayor’s office today, would you mind if we try that one?” his lieutenant asked.

The commander shrugged, he just wanted to have a filling meal that would sustain him until the next morning and go back to his room to work on his speech for tomorrow.

The other man guided him to a place in the port area, it didn’t look like the fancier places they have been frequenting since their arrival to Japan, but he’d eaten at much worse taverns so he didn’t care that much.

Both Seonghwa and his lieutenant sat down at the table, trying to ignore the intense staring they were getting from the other patrons. He took a deep breath and tried to relax his stiff body in an attempt to signal that they weren’t looking for trouble, that they just wanted to enjoy a warm meal in peace like the rest of them. They weren’t even wearing their navy uniforms at the moment, but he still felt as tense as the rest of the sailors in that tavern – hyper aware of the fact that they could potentially be surrounded by the enemy right now.

It didn’t take long for things to calm down, though, everybody sensing that there was no imminent danger on the horizon and going back to their respective meals. The innkeeper came to ask for their orders and left without any sign of tension, so Seonghwa felt himself relax further into the seat.

Until his companion decided to break the silence to say:

“Hey, isn't that your pirate?”

Seonghwa scoffed. “My pirate?” he asked, turning to look in the direction the other man was subtly pointing to with his head, just to feel his heart speed up in his chest.

It was him. 

It was actually him.

Captain Kim Hongjoong.

It had been a couple of years since the last time the commander saw him, but he’d be able to recognize him anywhere.

He was sitting next to a tall man who looked vaguely familiar to Seonghwa, carefreely drinking and laughing at something his companion had said. The pirate looked very different from the last time they had crossed paths (fierce eyes, blood on his clothes, sword raised high in the air), but also exactly the same. Same predilection for big, furry coats. Same long, decorated, light brown hair. Same pointy profile. Same smirk.

That fucking smirk.

Seonghwa wanted to punch that smirk off his face.

Before the commander could fully process the fact that he had randomly come across the person he’d been chasing for years in a Japanese tavern, he got distracted by a new man walking confidently to the pirate’s table. He barely greeted the rest of the men sitting there before plopping down on the captain’s lap, kissing his cheek and wrapping his arms around his shoulders – like he’d done it dozens of times before.

Seonghwa felt a nasty feeling begin in his stomach and spread towards his throat, making it harder to breath.

“So he’s not only a thief, he’s a deviant too,” said the lieutenant with disgust in his voice. “Pirates really don't have any morality left in their sinful bodies.”

The commander barely heard him, he was unable to move his attention away from the scene in front of him. He stared intently at the way the man sat comfortably on the captain’s lap, touching his chest and smiling big and unashamedly, acting like sitting on a lowly pirate’s lap was something he was deeply proud of. He watched the way Kim Hongjoong looked at the man with dark eyes and wrapped his hands around his waist before leaning closer to whisper something in his ear, his ever present smirk morphing into something different. Something softer, less arrogant. More seductive.

A smirk Seonghwa is also well acquainted with.

The commander could feel his hands shaking, a sudden wave of rage hitting him right in the chest. He’d wanted to wipe that smirk off many times before, but that desire had never felt this overwhelming. He was almost blinded by the urge to get up and walk over to the other table just to strike both the pirate and the unknown man right in their fucking faces. 

Feelings of confusion joined his crushing rage soon enough. Seonghwa didn’t understand what was going on with him right now. He didn’t know what this ugly feeling in his chest was, he couldn’t explain the reason behind his sudden anger. He couldn’t figure out why, as much as he wanted to hurt Kim Hongjoong, he wanted to punch the man sitting on his lap even more.

“Are you okay?” the lieutenant asked.

No.

He grabbed the bottle of soju the innkeeper had placed in front of him and drank from it, trying to drown the weird feelings.

“I get it, I feel disgusted when I see men like them too. They have no shame either, doing it right here in the open,” the other man added.

Seonghwa had to physically stop himself from pointing out that there were men doing far more shameful things with women at that very moment in that very tavern. He just wanted him to shut up and eat so he could leave that place and lock himself up in his room.

Can this week get any worse?

Both men ate in relative silence, the lieutenant noticing that the commander wasn't in the mood to talk. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but stare at the pirate every now and then, seething resentment still present in his chest. 

He was almost done with his meal when the pirate and the man on his lap got up, sharing a few words with the companions still sitting there before heading on their way out.

The commander felt panic rise up in his chest. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t just let Kim Hongjoong get away once again – and he definitely couldn’t let him leave with that man, just the two of them. Before he knew what he was doing, he was getting up and making up excuses about having to go back to his accommodations to his lieutenant. 

He casually left the tavern as quickly as he could without making it look suspicious and followed the pair at a reasonable distance.

Seonghwa didn’t know what he was doing, he couldn’t believe he was just impulsively running after the captain. What was he supposed to do now? Was he going to make an arrest on land? In a foreign country? Was he going to fight two random men on the streets of Japan while he was in the middle of a diplomatic mission?

Perhaps it was the unsuccessful negotiations. Perhaps it was his ongoing issues with his father. Perhaps it was the buildup of years running after the shadow of the man in front of him.

Perhaps it was just the sum of everything, but the frustration inside of him had taken over his brain and it was guiding his feet.

The commander didn’t know exactly what he was going to do next, he just knew that he simply couldn’t let the pirate get away again. He felt the need to stand in front of him and look into his eyes, away from the fights and the hectic interactions they’ve had in the middle of the ocean, at least once.

At some point during his internal struggle, he had lost track of the other two men. He panicked for a second, trying to find them in the night crowd. He walked around aimlessly for a while, unable to catch sight of any of them, before he reached the dock.

His heart was beating fast in his chest when he located the Aurora, innocently anchored to his left.

They’re probably there.

It made sense, in a way. He hadn’t expected the captain to bring a random prostitute to his ship, but maybe that man was someone Kim Hongjoong trusted enough to take him to the Aurora. To his cabin. To his own bed.

Seonghwa felt even more upset at the thought and he was heading towards the ship before he even knew what he was doing.

He didn’t know how he was going to explain this, but he’d deal with that later.

He boarded the ship silently, seeing that nobody else seemed to be there, and moved around for a moment before reality sank in.

What am I doing?

He had just followed a man he’s seen a handful of times in his life, and for what? To fight him? To arrest him?

Fucking Kim Hongjoong.

This man really brought up the worst in him. He made him feel volatile and emotional, he made him behave in very uncharacteristic ways.

Shame seemed to finally overpower the rage and the frustration that had been clouding his judgment. He turned around to leave the ship as silently as he’d boarded it, feeling thankful for having been able to come to his senses before he did something really stupid.

He never made it to the ramp, though.

He had barely walked three steps in the right direction before he felt someone grabbing him from behind and a quick, strong blow against his temple.

Everything went black after that.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa woke up feeling like he was drowning, cold water getting inside his mouth and choking him as he tried to gasp for air. He looked around, wet and confused, and noticed that he was laying on the floor inside a cell. Alarms went off in his head as he tried to recall how he got here.

“Sorry for the rude awakening, you were taking your sweet time so we had to take matters into our own hands.”

He turned his head to face the source of the voice, only to find a man standing on the other side of the bars with a bucket in his hands. It took Seonghwa a moment to recognize him as one of the men Kim Hongjoong had been sitting with at the tavern, and he felt paralized as all the memories came back rushing to his mind.

His fear only increased when he noticed the gentle swaying that indicated that they weren’t anchored anymore. He had stupidly walked into a pirate ship alone and now he was locked up in a cell, floating somewhere in the expanse of the ocean.

I’m going to die.

“It’s okay, we just want to have a little conversation with you.”

He looked up at the sound of the new familiar voice and saw Kim Hongjoong standing next to the man. He hadn’t even noticed him before.

“Thank you, Yunho. You can leave now, I’ll take care of the rest,” the captain said.

Seonghwa felt anxiety spread through his body.

The tall man (Yunho) looked at them both for a moment before leaving.

The captain grabbed a chair that was pushed to the side and sat down in front of the cell before sighing. 

In his panicked state, Seonghwa noticed his signature smirk was nowhere to be seen and the fact made the sense of dread intensify.

“Excuse my poor manners, Commander Park, but I’d really like to get straight to the point,” he said in a calm manner. “Would you be so kind as to explain why I found you sneaking into my ship in the middle of the night? Imagine my surprise when I saw who the silent burglar was after he passed out in front of me.”

The commander felt shame mix up with the fear. He barely understood why he did what he did himself, how was he supposed to explain it to the pirate. He couldn’t come up with a convincing lie, so he opted to stay silent.

The pirate sighed once again. “I have to admit I’m disappointed. I expected you to be an honorable man. I didn’t think you’d just push the law aside and sneak up on me like that to…what? Arrest me? Kill me? ”

“Do I need to remind you that you’ve sneaked up on me in the middle of the night before?”

The words were out of his mouth before Seonghwa could stop them. 

Ah, there it was, his usual Kim Hongjoong-induced impulsivity and stupidity.

The captain stared at him in disbelief before he snorted. “Yeah, well. I’m a pirate. Are you saying the Korean Navy is stooping to the level of the criminals you chase now?”

The commander pressed his lips together. “What’s the point of all of this? Just get on with it. Torture me. Kill me. Do whatever you’re planning to do with me.”

The pirate sighed once again and pressed a finger against his temple. “You’d be dead already if that was what I actually wanted. Right now, I just want to know why I found a navy sailor in my anchored ship, at night, in civilian clothing and without his crew.”

They both sat staring at each other in silence for a moment.

Seonghwa couldn’t help but think that this was the first time (since they met each other when they were teenagers) that they had the opportunity to just look at one another without any other distraction. He felt a weird fluttering feeling in his belly as he focused on the small details of the other man’s face in a way he’d never been able to before.

Kim Hongjoong sighed yet again and got up from the chair.

“I’m not going to torture you and I’m not going to kill you, even if that was what you wanted to do to me to begin with,” he explained, tone never losing his apparent calmness. “I have places to be and I’m on a tight schedule, so we’re going on a small trip before I let you go. Once we reach a place I deem safe enough for both of us, I will let you leave this ship, unharmed.”

He moved closer to the bars and squatted in front of the cell to put himself on the same level as the commander, who was still sitting on the floor. “I have no intention to hurt you, but I won’t hesitate to become the bloody, soulless pirate you imagine me to be if you put my crew in any danger. I’m willing to treat you as a guest if you behave like one, but I will treat you as a prisoner if that’s what you choose to be. Did I make myself clear?”

Seonghwa felt his breath quicken up, but nodded.

“Understood, Captain.”

The commander could see the corner of his lips twitch, but the pirate didn’t say anything else before getting up and heading towards the door.

“You have a bucket if you need it, and I will send someone with water and food soon. Make yourself comfortable.”

And just like that, Seonghwa was left alone inside the cell.

He stared at the closed door for a long time before pushing his wet hair back and taking off the coat, twisting it tightly and watching the water run out.

He sat back against the wall and sighed, covering himself with the wet fabric in an attempt to stay warm, before closing his eyes and pushing his head against the solid surface.

He was fucked and it was his own fault. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew he was never going to make it out of this ship alive. 

For the first time in a really long time, Seonghwa let himself cry. He cried for his mother and sisters. He cried for his own stupidity. He cried for the life he’s wasted. He cried for all the unshed tears he had piled up inside of him over the years.

–

He fell back asleep at some point so he woke up at the sound of the door opening up. The coat was still wet where it was wrapped over him, so it probably hadn’t been that long.

A man he’d never seen before walked into the room with a mug and a bowl. He stayed by the door for a moment, just staring at Seonghwa from a distance, before he asked: “Are you going to try to hurt me if I get close to you?”

The commander felt so shocked by the question that a dry, humorless laugh escaped his mouth. He studied the man for a second and he felt tempted to call him a boy instead, he looked young and way too out of place. 

He felt exhausted and drained, right now he wouldn’t try to fight even without the threatening words of the captain echoing inside his head. 

“I promise I won’t hurt you,” Seonghwa replied.

The boy stayed where he was for a moment before getting closer and placing the bowl and the mug within arm’s reach of the door of the cell. He moved back to stand behind the chair but didn’t make an attempt to leave.

“Your name is Park Seonghwa, right? Our captain mentioned it. I’m Jung Wooyoung, I’m the cook on this ship,” the boy said, a big smile on his face.

The commander nodded in acknowledgement before he shifted the attention to the food the other had laid in front of him. It looked really good and it smelled even better, Seonghwa felt his mouth water.

He wondered for a moment if it was poisoned, but he quickly decided that Kim Hongjoong didn’t seem like the kind of pirate who would just kill him with poison, so he grabbed it eagerly and took a bite straight away.

Wooyoung giggled. “I guess you were hungry.”

Seonghwa didn’t bother answering.

“Is it good? We just left port so we have a lot of fresh produce. Enjoy it while you can because it won’t last long,” he said cheerfully.

The commander stared at him once again and felt slightly surprised at the sudden need to reply to the other man’s happy monologue. 

“It’s good, thank you, you’re a talented cook,” he said. “I won’t be around much longer, though, you don’t need to worry about that.”

The boy looked confused for a moment. “Where are you going to go? We’re in the middle of the ocean.”

Seonghwa stopped chewing and tried to figure out if the pirate was playing some kind of game with him or if he really was as sheltered as he looked. 

“I’m a prisoner. I’m sure you know what pirates do with prisoners, especially if they’re from the Navy.”

The cook giggled again and moved around the chair to sit down. “I haven't been a pirate for very long, so no, I don’t know. We don’t keep prisoners so you’re the first one I’ve ever seen. We’re not going to hurt you, though, that’s not our style.”

The commander kept eating in silence. He kind of knew the crew of the Aurora were different from the disgusting monsters he’s had to deal with in the past, based solely on their previous behavior, but they’re still pirates and he was still a trespasser. 

He had never witnessed it but he’d read about torture strategies that included moments of kindness to give the poor tortured soul some hope before crushing it altogether.

He wasn’t going to fall for it.

He finished the food and thanked the cook, who tried to make more conversation but only received silence in exchange.

Seonghwa got comfortable after the boy left.

He was starting to accept his fate and found that he didn’t feel as panicked anymore.

He had walked into his own death following…something he couldn’t completely understand, and he was okay with that.

In a way, he felt kind of relieved.

He didn’t know why, but the knowledge that he would never have to go back to the responsibilities he had left behind made him feel surprisingly free.

–

Kim Hongjoong came over often during the first few days of his captivity to try to get an explanation out of Seonghwa. He never brought the prisoner out of the cell or touched him in any way, choosing to calmly sit down on the chair and ask over and over again why he was there instead.

The commander simply stared ahead and kept his mouth shut, waiting for the moment when the other man would inevitably grow tired of his silence and begin the physical torture.

But he never did, the captain simply stopped coming altogether when he noticed he wasn’t going to get the answers he wanted.

Wooyoung kept visiting him every day too. He’d always bring him a bowl of the same food he made for the rest of the crew and he’d stay around to make conversation while he ate, even though he barely got acknowledged by the navy sailor at all.

Seonghwa also briefly interacted with Yunho every time he came to empty his bucket and ask if he needed anything else, tone serious but polite. The commander had asked for a blanket and something to entertain himself to see what would happen, just to get a couple of pillows, a furry piece of fabric and a few books soon after.

The whole crew seemed to be really invested in this type of kindness-focused torture, but Seonghwa wasn’t going to fall for it.

It was lunch time again and Wooyoung was happily yapping away as usual. The commander barely replied to his constant chatting but the boy didn’t seem to mind, and it kind of reminded him of the teenage version of Kim Hongjoong in a weird way.

“I got so seasick at first, you have no idea. I threw up all the time, it was awful. The things one does for love, you know? I was very happy walking on firm land but I also got really tired of seeing San once, like, every three months so I decided that it was time to become a pirate for him. I’m not very good at it, but I’m learning.”

Seonghwa stopped eating and stared at him. 

“Your lover is a man?” he asked loudly in a tone that sounded weird to his own ears, unable to contain the words.

Wooyoung’s smile disappeared from his face and a frown replaced it. “I know very well what you’re thinking. I’ve heard about it a thousand times before, but I don’t care anymore. Yes, my lover is a man. I love him, I love him so much that I left my whole life behind for him. I’m not ashamed of my feelings, I’m proud of who I am.”

The commander felt his heart speed up in his chest. He had never met anybody who talked about their deviant desires openly, let alone someone who did it so proudly, so purely. It made him feel…strange.

Both of them stayed silent after that, so Wooyoung stood up and left without saying anything else.

Seonghwa stared at the empty chair for a while, bowl in hand and a turmoil of emotions consuming his mind.

–

It had been four days since Wooyoung left without a word, and he hasn’t come back. Yunho brought him the meals but he didn’t stay behind, so Seonghwa ate the food in deafening silence every time.

He was starting to understand why this push and pull would be considered a torture technique.

He truly didn’t comprehend why, but he kind of missed the boy. He was the only real human interaction he’d had for about a week and a half now (according to his calculations) and he hadn’t noticed how much those little moments had helped him stay sane until they were gone.

He felt guilty too, for some stupid reason. He can see how his question and consequent silence could be taken as a sign of disapproval, but that wasn’t it, he just had felt…strange.

He sighed and got up to walk around the cell, trying to calm his nerves down.

He wishes Kim Hongjoong would just go ahead and do whatever he was going to do with him. The mix of solitude, confinement, guilt and uncertainty was driving him up the wall.

He was still walking around when the door opened, startling him. He just had his meal, he wasn’t expecting anyone yet.

A man who looked vaguely familiar got into the room and closed the door behind him. He got closer to the cell in silence, before bowing and doing a military salute.

“Good afternoon, Commander Park. It’s an honor to meet you. My name is Kang Yeosang, I…well, I used to be in the Navy too.”

Seonghwa returned the bow and the salute by force of habit, but he didn’t reply. 

He wasn’t sure how to feel about the navy sailor turned pirate in front of him.

“I’ve heard so many stories about you, you were kind of a legend in our base. You…you are actually the reason why I wanted to become a strategist. I’m from Pohang, I…I’ve seen a lot of devastation at the hands of pirates. I haven’t been back home in a while, but things calmed down considerably after you led the mass capture of pirate vessels in Jinpo, so I thank you for that.”

The commander felt some sense of pride at the words, yet he couldn’t help but ask: “You’ve seen the kind of destruction a pirate can do but chose to become one anyway?”

The other man stayed silent for a moment before replying. “Sometimes, piracy is the only option you have.”

His tone was so solemn that Seonghwa couldn’t say anything else.

“I know what you’re thinking because I’d have thought the exact same thing less than two years ago. I know my word means nothing to you, but the Aurora is different. We’re thiefs, I’m not going to deny that, but we don’t do…any of the other things you and I have seen. Captain Kim is a good person, he has very strong opinions about the moral limits of piracy. I actually believe you two might have more in common than you think.”

Seonghwa snorted.

“I know. Like I said, I know why you wouldn’t believe me, but I wanted to say it anyway.”

Silence took over the room once again, before the other man spoke up: “I have to admit I had a very different image of you in my mind. The stories paint you as a ruthless and ice-cold man, and you do look like one, but…at the same time I can actually see what Wooyoung means when he says you have kind eyes.”

The commander stared at him, feeling a weird twist in his stomach.

“Anyway. I just wanted to introduce myself and ask if you needed anything specific to feel more comfortable here. We’re doing an overnight stop and I can get you anything you might need from town.”

“You could let me go,” said Seonghwa.

Yeosang laughed. “I’m afraid we can’t do that. Trust me, this is not a good place for someone like you to be walking around. You radiate navy energy even without the uniform on, they’d put a blade through your guts the moment you set a foot out of this ship.”

Seonghwa chose not to reply, once again, and soon the other man took his silence as the dismissal it was supposed to be. The pirate bowed once again and told him that he’d visit again soon, before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

The commander felt even more anxiety rise up at the interaction.

This crew was so confusing, what is he supposed to do? He knew how to react when dealing with normal pirates (that was easy, familiar), but these people threw him for a loop and he didn’t know how to work with that.

He kept walking around for a while before the other man’s words sank him.

They’re going to dock tonight.

He won’t be floating somewhere in the ocean anymore, he might have an actual opportunity to escape. The only one, probably.

It’s only been a week and a half, they’re probably still somewhere in Japan or maybe even Korea. This was his chance.

The commander took a deep breath and looked around, trying to find a way out. He’d seen many, many cells in his life, he knew where to look. He felt hope spread in his chest when he noticed the rusty hinges, he grabbed the area and tested it, noticing with glee that it began to softly fall apart in pieces at the movement.

He sat back down, heart speeding up in his chest. He didn’t know where he was, but this was his only chance to escape this cell. They’d definitely kill him if they caught him before he managed to flee the ship, but he’s okay with that. He’d rather be dead than stuck there, waiting for the captain to decide that it was time to stop playing his little waiting game.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for his escape attempt.

–

Seonghwa had been counting the seconds in his head, trying to figure out what time it was. Yunho had brought him what he believed was his dinner a few hours ago and he had noticed the sudden movements of the anchoring soon after. They were definitely docked right now.

He assumed most of the crew had left the ship by now, going out to enjoy a few hours on land before it was time to sail again. They probably left some people behind to protect the vessel but Seonghwa might be able to fight them off.

He decided it was time.

He took a deep breath and moved back, away from the door, mustering all the strength in his body before giving the rusty hinge a strong kick with his foot. The impact made a loud noise so he stopped and paid attention to the door for a few moments, waiting to see if someone was coming to check on him. Nobody came, so he gave another strong kick, watching the hinge break apart completely, which made the door fall heavily to the side.

His heart was beating loudly as he made it out of the cell and headed to the door. He opened it slowly and looked into the corridor, finding it completely empty. He grabbed the torch that had been lighting up the jail room before walking out, senses heightened, trying to find any sign that he was going to be attacked.

The ship was pretty small and he found the structure familiar enough to make his way to the deck quickly, surprised at the fact that he hadn’t run into anybody yet. He had known the Aurora carried a small crew, but he was expecting more people around.

He looked around the deck before coming out, not seeing anybody in his direct line of vision. He quickly looked into the crow’s nest and it looked empty too.

This is my chance.

He ran towards the ramp, but he was intercepted before he could make it there.

Someone slammed roughly against him, making him drop the torch and fall to the ground. It was dark outside but luckily the full moon made it easier to see the silhouette of his opponent, to see the knife in his hand.

“Stay still or I’ll stab you,” the man said.

He was really strong but Seonghwa managed to grab his wrist firmly enough to make him drop the knife. The commander moved quickly and took the weapon, pushing it against the other man’s throat before saying: “Let go of me.”

The pirate moved back slowly, moving to stand on his knees, hands raised high in surrender. The commander stood up quickly, knife still pressed to the other man’s throat.

“PLEASE! DON’T DO IT!”

Seonghwa looked to the side, seeing Wooyoung standing there, slightly lit up by the moonlight.

“Please. Commander. Sir. Seonghwa. Don’t hurt him,” the boy was saying, words coming out between his loud sobs. “Please, I’m begging you.”

The navy sailor hesitated for a moment, heart beating fast in his chest.

“Please, he’s my everything. I love him. I can’t lose him, I’d die. We’ll let you go, but, please, don’t hurt him.”

The commander looked between both men, frozen in place. He couldn’t risk it, he had to kill the pirate in front of him, but he found himself unable to move. Wooyoung’s sobs and pleas were ringing in his ears.

“Woo, it’s okay,” the man said, tears running down his face but voice stable. “Please, look away. Go lock yourself in our room. I love you, always remember that.”

Seonghwa felt like throwing up. He could hear his own harsh breathing, could see his hand shaking violently against the other man’s throat.

What’s wrong with me?

He dropped the knife with a choked sob, taking two steps back from the man and feeling a third person tackle him and force him to lay face down on the floor. He didn’t resist, and soon enough the pirate reducing him grabbed his head and pushed it violently against the wood underneath, making him pass out instantly.

–

Seonghwa came back slowly, trying to open his eyes but closing them again when the bright light of the morning made his already painful headache get even worse. He took deep breaths, nausea and pain coiling inside of him. He felt so dizzy that it took him a long time to notice that his hands were tied up together with rope.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked down, confirming that his hands were in fact tied up tightly. He followed the rope with his eyes just to find the end of it firmly secured to a hook on the wall. He tested the knot and the hook but soon gave up, it’d be impossible to break free. 

Feeling slightly less dizzy, he looked up and frowned in confusion when he noticed he wasn’t back in the cell. Instead, he was lying on the floor inside a very messy room. He could see book racks and shelves all over the walls, pieces of paper and clothing on the table, and a big bed with a mountain of pillows and furs sitting right next to where he was laying.

The captain's cabin.

He felt his heart pick up the pace inside his chest, memories of his attempted escape rushing into his mind.

Why? 

The question was swimming in his head. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just go ahead and kill the man from last night. He’s killed dozens of pirates before, probably even hundreds, and he’s never hesitated. He’s never even felt pity for the crying soon-to-be widows he saw in the crowd during the hangings he’d had to attend.

Yet, he had been completely unable to kill Wooyoung’s lover in front of him. He couldn’t stop replaying the man’s desperate sobs and pleas in mind. 

He sighed. 

It’s really over now. 

He had tried to flee, he had tried to kill a member of the crew. Kim Hongjoong was going to drop the act and finish him now for sure. He had probably tied him up in his chamber to have easy access to him while he watched him die slowly.

The commander didn’t even feel scared anymore. He welcomed death right now. He just wanted this whole thing to be over, for the strange emotions that have been consuming him since the moment he laid his eyes on the captain in that tavern to disappear.

He made himself comfortable against the floor and closed his eyes, trying to lessen the intensity of his headache.

He was dozing off again when the door opened suddenly, making him jump.

Yunho and an unknown man stood on the other side, staring at him in a way that made Seonghwa feel extremely judged.

The quartermaster and the other pirate wordlessly dragged him by the rope that kept his hands together outside, to the deck. They pushed him carelessly to the square box situated on the side of the bowsprit.

“Relieve yourself now before we lock you up again,” said Yunho.

Seonghwa stared at them before looking around the deck, finding Yeosang sitting up in the crow’s nest but no one else in sight.

It took him an embarrassing amount of time and effort to undo his pants with his hands tied up like that, and he could hear chuckles and snorts coming from the two pirates the whole time.

“I’m going to untie you now so you can wash yourself. We don’t want you stinking up the captain’s cabin,” said the unknown man, laughter in his tone. “Try anything funny and I will break your head and throw you overboard, got it?”

The commander had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from insulting him. 

You could have untied me earlier, asshole.

He was dying to wash himself for the first time since he got captured, so he cooperated as much as he could. He had done this many times in front of hundreds of strangers, so he didn’t even feel shy at the fact that the other two men were watching every movement closely.

After he was done, he put on the new clothes they had given him and the pirates tied him up again before taking him back to the captain’s cabin, pushing him forcefully to his new spot on the floor before securing the rope to the hook and leaving without saying another word.

He uselessly tested the knot again before curiously looking around the room, studying the items the captain had carelessly thrown around in the space.

He’s a mess.

He couldn’t understand how the captain was able to live in such chaos, he’d go crazy if he tried. 

He had been trying to figure out what kind of aromatic herb was emitting the pleasant scent in the air when the door opened, making him jump once again.

Kim Hongjoong stood there for a moment, face blank and unreadable, before he got inside the room and closed the door behind him.

This is it.

Seonghwa took a deep breath and raised his head high. He wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of breaking that easily.

“That was an extremely stupid move, Commander Park. This is a dangerous place, basically every single pirate in this shitty hellhole would love to do awful things to you. I told you I’d let you go as soon as I could, you just had to trust my word and wait.”

Seonghwa stared at him in silence.

“Haven’t I treated you well enough? Way better than you deserve? You haven’t given me a single answer. I still have no idea why you’re here. I don’t know what kind of plans you had for me and my crew when you broke into my ship, yet I haven’t touched a single hair on your fucking head,” the captain stopped, tone getting louder with every word that came out of his mouth. “You put my crew in danger. You broke the only fucking rule I had for you.”

The commander remained silent and the pirate stood there for a while, clearly trying to calm himself down, before he sat on the bed.

“Why do you insist on making things so difficult? I told you I wouldn’t hurt you, I said that I’d let you go.”

“Why would I trust the word of a pirate? I think you forget that I’m used to dealing with your kind. I know exactly what happens to people who believe what criminals like you say. They end up getting stabbed in their back. They end up dead. You have no honor, your fucking word means nothing,” Seonghwa replied, words rushing out of his mouth in the heat of the moment.

The captain stared at him for a moment, shock evident on his face.

“I'm surprised to see that you're actually capable of expressing human emotions. That’s the third time I’ve ever seen you look something other than poised and collected,” the pirate said. “The second time was last night, when I saw your humanity stop you from killing a man in cold blood in front of his partner."

Seonghwa pressed his lips together, embarrassed that he had been unable to stop the words coming from his mouth once again.

“The first time was when we were younger, of course. It’s nice to know that the easily flustered and doe eyed teenager is still there, somewhere,” he said, the smirk slowly appearing back on his face. “I have to admit I’m very glad to see that you’re not as soulless as you pretend to be.”

“I’m going to punch that fucking smirk off your face,” he treathened.

Kim Hongjoong laughed brightly. 

“Bring it on, gorgeous.”

The commander threw daggers with his eyes but it only seemed to fuel the other man’s amusement.

“Just get on with it. I’m ready to receive my punishment.”

The playful smile disappeared from the captain’s face. “Consider this your first and last warning. Don’t take my kindness for granted, I won’t hesitate to fuck you up for real if you ever try to do that again.”

“Stop playing, I’m done with this fucking game. I’m very aware you’re just toying with your food before you eat it. I don’t buy your so-called kindness, I know I’m not making it out of this ship alive,” said Seonghwa, embarrassingly choking up for a moment. “Just kill me. If you really are as benevolent as everybody says you are, just go ahead with whatever you’re going to do to me and do it quickly.”

The captain stared at him for a moment, something akin to pity showing in his face.

“I’m beginning to understand why you’re doing what you’re doing, and I get it. I’m very aware of the kind of things other pirates do, I can only imagine the shit you’ve had to witness. I don’t know what it’ll take for you to believe me, but I’m going to tell you this once again: I’m not going to kill you, and I’m not going to hurt you either, unless you force my hand. I don’t blame you for trying to escape, that’s a human reaction. You tried to hurt a member of my crew as he tried to stop you, and that’s a reasonable reaction as well, but you showed him mercy in the end. I’m just extending you the same courtesy right now.”

Seonghwa didn’t reply, he just stared at the captain, confused.

“I don’t believe you. How are you going to let me go without any kind of punishment after what I’ve done? I sneaked into your ship and I went against your expressed orders, against your authority as the captain of this ship. You get flogged for a lot less in the Navy.”

“Well, this isn’t a naval vessel. This is my ship and I’m the captain. I’m the one who decides who gets punished and who doesn’t here, and my decision is final,” he said firmly.

The commander stared at the pirate as he got up and walked out without another word. He looked at the empty space the captain had occupied on the bed.

Why?

He tried to imagine what kind of nefarious motive the pirate would hide behind his apparently kind treatment, but he couldn't come up with anything.

He felt an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as he thought that perhaps the image he had of Kim Hongjoong wasn't completely correct. He had created an idea of the captain in his head over the years, based on his own frustrations with the man and the thousands of interactions he's had with other pirates, but he was starting to think that he might be wrong.

The pirate had refused to punish him (a prisoner, a trespasser, his enemy), simply because Seonghwa had done the bare minimum and didn't harm a member of his crew when he had the chance.

The captain would be entitled to kill him after everything he's done. Nobody even knows he has the commander in his ship, he could get rid of him without any consequences. The Navy would never be able to charge him for his murder if he got caught, but the captain chose not to do anything to him anyway.

Kim Hongjoong had shown him compassion and sympathy, something Seonghwa himself wouldn't have done if he were in the other man's shoes.

He tried to shake the uneasy feeling and futilely remind himself that one act of kindness didn't erase the rest of the other man’s crimes.

–

He stayed in flight or fight mode for a while after that, waiting for the other shoe to drop at any moment, but not much happened over the next few days.

It might be that he’s slowly losing his mind because of his captivity, but he was starting to believe the pirate was telling the truth when he said he’d let him go unharmed.

Imminent death or not, Seonghwa found that he was enjoying his new jail cell a lot more.

He could see the sky through the big windows in the cabin, which not only allowed him to calculate time much easily, but it let him bask in the sunlight during certain moments of the day. He was allowed to wash himself on deck and use the square box to relieve himself now, as Yunho or the other pirate (who he now knew was called Jongho) would come to get him and push him around in silence after every meal.

The captain had untied his hands to tie them separately to the hook in the wall when he noticed Seonghwa couldn’t eat on his own, which allowed him to move around way more comfortably. He’d even given him more books to pass the time and half of the furs and pillows from his bed so he could make a cozy nest on the floor. 

He appreciated the gestures so much that he didn’t even try to fight when they untied his hands to drag him outside every day, and it wasn’t just because there was a pistol pointed at him every time.

Besides his brief interactions with Yunho and Jongho, he’d seen Wooyoung a couple of times when he'd come to bring him his meals, but the cook never talked to him nor stayed more time than necessary. Seonghwa felt the pressing need to apologize, but he found himself unable to articulate a single word every time he had the other man standing in front of him.

Kim Hongjoong barely spent any time in his cabin, so Seonghwa spent most of his time alone, reading comfortably in his nest. The commander didn’t know if the man was staying away because he was tied up in the room now or if it was a common thing even without his presence. He silently came to sleep when the navy sailor was already drifting off and he left very early in the morning, before he even woke up. 

Which was an impressive feat because he was an early riser himself.

They spent most of the time in silence when they both happened to be awake at the same time. It had been really awkward at first, since Seonghwa didn’t know how to behave around the captain now that his previous mental image of him had shattered, but oddly enough their silences lost the uncomfortable tension after a while.

The commander would just sit back and listen to the other man work silently on his desk, getting lulled by the flickering of the flames, the noise of the quill against the paper, and the gentle swaying of the waves.

It was kind of comforting, in a way. He can’t remember the last time he had allowed himself to just sit down and enjoy some peace and quiet without worrying about anything else.

This was his fourth night in the captain’s cabin and they were docked once again. Seonghwa could faintly see the outline of a town through the window, but it wasn't enough for him to be able to recognize the place.

He was looking at Kim Hongjoong from his place on the floor, watching the other man getting ready to go out.

“You’ve made three stops in a really short amount of time,” he couldn’t help but say.

The pirate stared at him through the mirror he was looking at while styling his hair.

“We have a small vessel, we can’t keep the cargo we acquire during our travels for too long, it weighs us down considerably. I prefer to sell the goods in different places and not tie myself to one single buyer,” he explained.

Seonghwa could feel that there was something else there, but he didn’t pry. 

He didn’t know why, but he was starting to feel increasingly nervous as he watched the pirate pay special attention to the accessories he was carefully putting on his hair and clothing. He was clearly making an extra effort to make himself look good, and the commander felt dread as the memory of the unknown man he’d seen sitting on the captain’s lap flashed in his mind.

“Are you going to bring a man to the ship again?” he asked, before he could stop himself.

What the fuck, Park Seonghwa.

The pirate stayed silent for a moment.

“I don’t know. If someone catches my eye, I will. Don’t worry, we fixed the cell, I will take you there before I leave. You won’t have to witness any depraved behavior, I promise,” he said with his playful smirk.

The information made him feel a bit better, but didn’t relax the tense feeling in his stomach.

“...why do you do it? They’re men and so are you…”

Can you please just shut up.

Kim Hongjoong stared at him through the mirror for a moment before turning around to face him directly.

“I do it precisely because they’re men. I know what people like you think of people like me, you can save it. I’m not interested in hearing about it, I know exactly what you’re going to say. These men want me and I want them back. I know you wouldn’t understand it, but I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Seonghwa had to divert his eyes and swallow hard to prevent the emotions that were bubbling inside him from coming up in the form of tears. 

He felt the same strange feeling he had experienced when Wooyoung told him a similar thing. That weird emotion spread in his chest, choking him and making it hard to breathe. 

No one had ever told him that these desires weren’t wrong and, for some stupid reason, he felt overwhelmed.

The words came from criminals, I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. Of course they wouldn’t care about what’s wrong and right…

The pirate was staring at him in a very different way when he looked up again. The gaze was intense and Seonghwa felt like the other man was reading every single of his thoughts. For a moment, he had a quick flashback of the first time they ever saw each other in that cell, years ago.

“...Seonghwa,” he said, calling him by his given name for the first time. “There's nothing wrong with being attracted to men. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with them. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love with them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend your life with them, as a partner, like men and women do. I know my words mean nothing to you, but trust me on this one. This is not about me being a pirate, this is about me being a man who knows what it feels like to hate yourself for something you can’t control.”

The commander only noticed he was crying when he felt the tears dripping down his jaw. He quickly dried them off and turned around, embarrassed that the other man had seen him in such a vulnerable moment – that he had known. 

Once again, it felt like he couldn’t hold the tears back once the gates were open, so he stayed with his back turned to the pirate for a while, crying as silently as he could. He doesn't know how long he stayed there, sobbing, before he felt a comforting pat on his head. For some reason, the gentle touch made him cry even harder.

They stayed like that for a moment before the captain left, closing the door behind him.

It took Seonghwa a long time to put himself together after that. All the desires and emotions he had buried deep within himself came to the surface in a rush, and he took the time to acknowledge every single one of them for the first time in his life, the words of the pirate swimming around in his head.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s nothing wrong with me.

He was so exhausted that he fell asleep without even noticing, tear stains all over the pillow and a strong headache joining the messy thoughts in his head. He woke up startled at some point later, when he heard the captain get inside the room.

His heart sped up when he remembered with despair their previous conversation: the pirate had never taken him to the cell before leaving. 

He tried to turn around to check if the other man was alone, but he found himself frozen in place. His ears listened closely, trying to make out what was happening by the sounds alone. He heard the soft noise of the heavy coat getting thrown away and the rustle of the furs on top of the bed as someone got comfortable there.

He stayed there for a while, trying to control his wild heartbeat and breathing, but he couldn’t hear anything else. He turned around slowly, trying to make out what was going on with the limited moonlight that came through the windows.

He felt relief when he saw Kim Hongjoong under the furs, back towards him as he laid on his side.

Alone. 

He released a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

He stayed awake for a long time after that, trying to sort out all the new feelings and emotions he had let out after years of suppression. 

–

He had a book and a bowl of food waiting for him next to his makeshift bed when he woke up the next day.

The meal was cold by that point, but he ate it in silence before picking up the new book, frowning slightly when he saw that it was written in Chinese.

It was common for people in the Korean military to speak Chinese, but he hadn’t expected Hongjoong to know the language.

He quickly noticed that it was a compilation of poems written by someone called Bo Juyi, which made him feel even more confused. The captain had never given Seonghwa poetry books before, he didn’t even think it was something he’d enjoy reading.

It took him a few pages to notice the underlying message in the text.

These poems were about a man.

The poet was a man who wrote love letters to his male lover.

Seonghwa gasped, feeling the same emotions from the previous night come back in full force. He read the book twice in a row, feeling the passion and the love behind every line. He barely acknowledged Yunho when he came to bring him food and take him outside, he just wanted to go back to the book as soon as possible.

The writer spoke about his overwhelming love for his partner, but also of his desire for his body, the passion of their shared nights.

He found himself crying on a couple of occasions, once again.

He didn’t see Hongjoong that day, falling asleep before the man silently came back to his cabin at night, but they exchanged a look the morning after. Seonghwa tried to show the appreciation and the emotions he couldn’t say out loud with his eyes, and, judging by the captain’s comforting smile, he understood what he was trying to communicate.

He went back to reread the book once again after the captain left without saying any word, and he found himself so engrossed in the beautiful lines that he got startled when someone knocked on the door before opening it slowly.

The commander gasped in surprise when he saw Wooyoung and his lover standing there, three bowls of food in their hands.

Seonghwa sat up in a straight posture and put the book away before looking nervously in silence as they got inside the room.

The cook stared at him for a moment before sitting down next to him on the floor, handing him one of the bowls he was holding.

“Wooyoung—” said his lover.

“It’s okay, San. He promised he wouldn’t hurt me.”

Seonghwa felt his words get stuck in his chest as he watched the other man take a spoonful of food from his own bowl before putting it into his mouth. 

The turmoil of emotions was making it hard to breathe, but he gathered the courage to do what he’d been wanting to do for days.

“How can you trust me after what I did? I almost killed your lover in front of you,” the commander said.

“Don’t get me wrong, I asked Captain Hongjoong to kill you right after he hit your head against the floor. I yelled at him to do it. I almost did it myself, to be honest,” Wooyoung said, putting the spoon back in the bowl. “But I’ve been thinking. I saw the expression on your face, I saw the struggle there. You didn’t want to hurt San and you made the conscious choice to not do it. You just dropped the knife and walked away, even though that could have negative consequences for you. I thank you for that.”

Seonghwa couldn’t even reply, he just looked at him in disbelief.

“I don’t hold it against you,” said the other man (San) with a soft smile, a dimple showing in his cheek. “I threatened you with a knife too, so I guess we’re even.”

The commander chuckled and tried to force the words past the tightness in his throat. “Yeah, I guess we’re even.”

He couldn’t help but think, once again, how extremely odd this crew was.

They ate in silence for a moment before San added: “I’m surprised, to be honest. I didn’t expect you to show any mercy at all, based on what I’ve heard about you. You look scary, but maybe you’re not that bad.”

“You should have seen him the first couple of days, he was a lot scarier then. He looks so much better now, I think we’re a good influence on him,” the cook said jokingly.

Seonghwa snorted softly.

He wouldn’t say they were a good influence on him, he felt like this whole situation went against everything he’s always believed.

He’d probably make it out of this ship alive, but he didn’t know what kind of person he’d be by the end of this journey.

His world had been turned completely upside down in a couple of weeks, and he wasn’t sure he would be able to just bounce back to his old self after everything he’s experienced in this strange place.

–

Things got even more complicated and confusing for Seonghwa two days later.

It was late at night and he was reading in his nest when Hongjoong spoke from where he was working on the table.

“Do you feel like going outside?”

The commander got startled, since he wasn’t expecting the other man to talk to him. “Huh?”

“You haven’t been outside for longer than a moment since you got here. I’d be going crazy if I were you. I won’t be able to fall asleep yet so I was going to do some stargazing, and I thought you might want to join me.”

Seonghwa felt his heart speed up and his sleepiness disappeared instantly. “You’d let me do that?”

The pirate laughed. “Sure, as long as you don’t do anything stupid. There’s people on the lookout, so they’d notice if you tried something. You’ve been behaving so well lately, good boys deserve rewards.”

For some reason, the words made his heart beat even faster.

“I promise I won’t try anything stupid.”

Hongjoong walked over and easily untied the rope from the hook before expertly tying his hands together and pulling on it to help him get up.

“You’re very talented with the rope,” Seonghwa said, feeling like he needed to somehow break the tension he felt every time the other man got close to him.

The pirate smirked at him, something dark and playful hiding in his eyes. “I have a lot of experience.”

Seonghwa knew, as a sailor, that knowing how to tie a knot was a crucial skill to have while sailing a ship, but the look on the other man’s face made him feel like there was an underlying message in his words that he was missing completely.

They both headed outside and Seonghwa took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air and the smell of the sea.

“Yeosang, keep an eye on us just in case our guest here decides to behave like a bad boy,” the captain said loudly, and the commander could see the former navy sailor’s head popping out of the crow’s nest.

“Yes, Captain.”

Seonghwa wanted to argue that he had promised not to, but he kind of understood where the other man was coming from.

Hongjoong led him by the rope to the elevated space on the forecastle and promptly laid on his back there, making the commander lower himself to the floor next to him.

They stayed there in silence for a while, and Seonghwa let himself get lost in the expanse of the ocean, the starry night and the noises of the waves.

“It’s so peaceful,” said the pirate.

“It’s my favorite thing about being a sailor,” confessed Seonghwa.

Hongjoong made a noise of agreement. “I like to come here at the start and the end of the day, to enjoy the peace and quiet away from the crew.”

Seonghwa hadn’t even noticed he was staring at the captain’s face, so he averted his gaze and laid down on his back, as far away from the pirate as he could without pulling on the rope too much.

“How did you become a pirate?” the commander found himself asking.

Hongjoong didn’t reply and for a moment he believed he had crossed the blurry lines of their unstable dynamic.

“I’ve always loved the sea and I wanted to see the world. My father was a pirate, but I never knew him. My mother used to say I have his blood running through my veins.”

The commander didn’t feel satisfied by the answer, but he didn’t push. 

They stayed silent for a moment before Hongjoong asked: “Why did you sneak into my ship?”

Seonghwa felt his heart pick up the pace but he continued to quietly stare into the sky without replying.

Great question, I wish I knew the answer.

“How did you become a captain so young?” he asked instead, hoping the other man would let it go.

The pirate stayed silent for a while after that, so Seonghwa slowly turned his head to look at him, only to find the captain staring back at him with a serious expression on his face. 

“Murder.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help the surprised laugh that escaped his lips when he saw the playful smirk slowly creep up on the other man’s face after a couple of seconds.

Hongjoong opened his mouth and eyes in shock straight away, standing up to a sitting position. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you actually laughed! That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you smile in my life!”

The commander pressed his lips together in an attempt to suppress said smile. “We’ve only seen each other a handful of times.”

“Yeah, but I have the feeling you don’t smile that often anyway,” said the captain.

Seonghwa tried to remember the last time he had laughed out of happiness, or even smiled, but he couldn’t come up with anything.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, before Hongjoong chuckled and looked away.

“You’re very different from the man I imagined you to be, Commander Park Seonghwa,” he said before getting up. “It’s late, let’s go to sleep.”

The commander continued to stare at him from his place on the floor before he got up too and followed the captain into the cabin without replying out loud.

You’re very different from the man I imagined you to be too, Captain Kim Hongjoong.

—

Things got even more complicated and confusing for Seonghwa the night after their stargazing moment.

It was really late and Seonghwa had been looking at the night sky through the windows from his place on the floor, when a voice suddenly broke the silence.

“Why are you still awake?”

He jumped slightly, feeling surprised. Hongjoong kind of slept like a rock after he fell down on the bed. “I don’t do much besides reading and sleeping during the day, so sometimes I don’t feel that tired at night.”

“I’ve noticed,” the pirate replied.

The captain stayed silent for a moment before adding: “...do...ehm…do you mind covering your ears and closing your eyes real quick? It won’t take long.”

Seonghwa tried to focus on his face in the poorly lit room but couldn’t see his expression clearly. “Why?”

Hongjoong stayed silent for another long moment. “I…I need a moment of privacy. You’re a man, I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to say.”

The commander didn’t understand what he was trying to say, actually.

Until he did.

“...oh.”

His heart picked up pace as the unwanted images filled his brain.

“I’ve tried to wait until you go to sleep, but you’re always awake and I end up falling asleep first. I can’t really do it anywhere else, there’s always someone outside,” he continued. “I’m kind of losing my mind here. It’s been days, and someone has gotten in the way the last few times I’ve tried to enjoy some company. I’m feeling particularly frustrated right now.”

Someone.

For some reason, Seonghwa felt a sense of victory at the knowledge that he had prevented the captain from sleeping with other men.

“...okay, I will, huh. Yeah,” he said, stupidly.

“Thank you. I mean, you’re a sailor, it’s not a big deal. I’m sure you’ve been through this many times before in your journeys, just like me.”

Seonghwa has, in fact, been through this many times before.

He’s just never felt this on edge about it.

He’s always been afraid of thinking and feeling things he shouldn’t while his colleagues take care of themselves in the same room as him, so he made a special effort to mind his business during those moments.

He felt like all his senses were working overtime right now, though. He turned around to look the other way, closed his eyes tightly and covered his ears with his hands, but his brain was trying really hard to pick up any sound.

In a moment of weakness, he lessened the grip he had over his ears and tried to listen intently. 

The room was completely silent for a while, until he heard a soft gasp over the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears.

His heart started beating even faster and he had to consciously control his breathing to avoid giving himself away.

The faint gasp was followed by a soft groan, and the commander felt his face burning.

He couldn’t stop his brain from imagining the scene behind him. Was Hongjoong touching himself under the covers? Maybe he had pushed the furs away and was doing it openly even though Seonghwa was in the room with him. It seemed like something he’d do. 

He tried to visualize the way his face would look in a moment like this, the kind of expression that would complement the increasingly harsh breathing he could hear. Did he keep his eyes closed? Maybe he’d keep them open, pleasure shining through their usual intensity.

Seonghwa pressed his own eyes so tightly that he saw white spots, trying to make up for the fact that he was invading the other man’s privacy in such a vulnerable moment just to fuel his own curious desire.

It was getting louder in the room: the sound of the furs brushing against each other, the groans and moans increasing their volume, the wet noises of skin against skin.

Seonghwa was losing his mind. He was shaking with the need to turn around, to look, to touch his own dick. He pressed his thighs together, trying to lessen the throbbing pain in his crotch.

For the first time in his life, he let the fantasy take over and he lost himself in it, fueled by the sounds.

He could feel his own hard cock pulsing as Hongjoong got closer to his orgasm, and he felt grateful for the rope limiting the range of motion of his hands, because he was very tempted to just grab it and mimic the other man’s actions.

In his heightened state, he could admit to himself that this wasn’t the first time he’s wondered such things about the pirate. He had fleetingly and drunkenly tried to imagine how the other man would look in the throes of passion while touching himself before, but he always pushed those perverted musings out of his mind quickly, ashamed of himself for thinking about a pirate in such a way.

Right now, he couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it.

He wondered what would happen if he turned around right now, if the captain saw his hard dick through his borrowed pants. Would he feel disgusted? Would he touch himself harder? Would he get up and touch Seonghwa the way he’s touched other men before?

The commander had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from whining. He’s never felt this feverish before, he couldn’t stop his mind from making up perverted scenarios based on the limited knowledge he had of the ways men had sex with each other.

Would Hongjoong touch him roughly or delicately? Would he tease him with his words and his hands?

He was pulled away from his fantasy by a chocked “fuck” and a long groan.

Seonghwa’s heart was beating so fast that he felt dizzy, overwhelmed by the fact that the pirate had just orgasmed in his presence. He chastised himself when he embarrassingly noticed he was smelling the air, trying to catch the musky scent.

He tried really hard to contain his harsh breathing but he felt like he was doing a poor job. 

He felt so oversensitive that even the brush of his clothing against his skin and the rough texture of rope on his wrists were adding to his hot desperation.

Hongjoong seemed to fall asleep straight away, but it took Seonghwa a really long time to calm himself down enough to follow suit.

–

The commander didn’t touch himself that often, too busy to even care about it and too afraid of the kind of desires it awoke inside him, so he was used to the buildup of unreleased tension pulsing through his body as a result. 

That tension has never felt his bad, though. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin at any moment. It’s been two days since that night and Seonghwa felt like he was about to bite anyone who got too close to him.

He was so strung out that he kept snapping at the smallest offense from any of the pirates. He had yelled at poor Wooyoung during dinner for no real reason, and even Jongho and Yunho kept their usual jokes and teasing to themselves after Seonghwa had uncharacteristically cursed them out. 

He couldn’t stop picking fights with Hongjoong either. The captain had opted for spending even less time in his cabin as a result, which only added to Seonghwa's frustration. He knew he was purposely pushing the other man’s buttons, but he just couldn’t understand why. It had gotten so bad that the pirate had dragged him outside and tied him up to the mast the night before. 

"I'm going to fucking gag you if you don't stop this already. Maybe sleeping outside will cool you down," he had said with dark eyes and a growl.

The cool breeze of the night hadn’t managed to calm him down at all, somehow Hongjoong’s behavior had only fuelled the fire inside him even more.

He was losing his mind, he’s never felt this desperate in his 25 years of life, not even when he was younger. 

They haven’t even acknowledged what happened that night, it was just something that happened very often when you were trapped in a vessel with other men. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, but Seonghwa couldn’t stop thinking about it. He couldn’t stop replaying the sounds the other man had made as he pleasured himself, he couldn’t stop imagining the way he’d looked in that moment. He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering into even more dangerous territory.

Fuck this ship and everyone in it.

His life had been so much easier before he set a foot in that fucking tavern.

A whine escaped his mouth in the silence of the cabin. He needed to touch himself so badly, he was about to explode. He was tempted to just do it right here in the cabin, even if the captain could come back at any moment, but Hongjoong had tied up his hands together and had kept the rope short in an attempt to punish his recent poor behavior.

Seonghwa felt like crying.

He moved around for a moment, trying to find a position that would alleviate the throbbing pain in his crotch. A gasp escaped his lips when his hard cock accidentally brushed against one of the pillows.

“Fuck.”

He closed his eyes as his hips continued pushing his dick against the cushion, desperately searching for release. He felt some sense of shame mixed with the pleasure at the fact that he was just humping a piece of stuffed fabric like a dog in heat, but his body seemed to have a mind of its own.

He felt himself looming over the edge soon enough, even though he could barely get any friction from his position. He tried to angle his body in a way that would allow him to push harder against the pillow, but nothing seemed to work.

He was so close. He could hear his own desperate whines echoing in the room, he could sense his own body shake with desire, he could feel the wet mess his leaking cock was creating in the pants.

“Please,” he whispered, on the verge of tears, trying to get the friction he needed.

“Look at you, begging so sweetly.”

Seonghwa almost didn’t hear the words over his own harsh breathing and the blood rushing in his ears, but he found Hongjoong standing in the room when he opened his eyes and looked up.

He should stop right away, he should be mortified, he should yell at the pirate for standing there looking at him in such a vulnerable position, but all that came out of his mouth was:

“Please.”

Chapter Text

Seonghwa couldn’t help the whine that escaped his throat. 

“Please,” he repeated.

Hongjoong chuckled and sat down on the bed next to him. “Poor thing, is this why you’ve been such a bad boy lately?”

The commander could feel his face burning with embarrassment, but his hips were still awkwardly trying to hump the pillow.

“Please,” he said again. “I…I need you to untie my hands. I’ll be quick. I promise I won’t do anything stupid.”

The pirate’s smirk seemed to gain a sharper edge and his eyes darkened.

“Mhmm,” he said. “I don’t know, you’ve been a real menace lately. It could be dangerous.”

Seonghwa whined again. “Please…”

Hongjoong took a deep breath and slowly looked at him from head to toe, tongue poking out between his teeth. 

“I wonder what your fellow navy officers would say if they saw you right now…”

The commander felt a sob come up in his throat. He didn’t know why the pirate’s words and actions were affecting him so much, but instead of making him feel enough shame to make him stop what he was doing, it only fueled his desire.

“Aw, poor thing, you look so desperate,” the pirate said in a patronizing tone. “Why don’t we do this…” 

The captain used his foot to push the cushion he was brushing against closer to him.

“Fuck that pillow. You get to come and I don’t put my crew at risk. We all win.”

They both knew that the pirate could untie him without putting his crew in danger, he’d done it before. They both knew he hadn't been an actual threat for a while, that this was just an excuse to humiliate him further.

Part of Seonghwa felt like he should insult him for what he’s doing, but all he could say was: “Thank you.”

He could properly hump the pillow now and he moaned loudly as he finally felt the right pressure against his cock. He thrusted against it a couple of times before he focused on Hongjoong once again.

The pirate was still sitting comfortably on the bed, staring intently at him with a dark expression on his face. Seonghwa felt a shiver run through his body at the intensity of his gaze, but he felt even more heated when he looked down and saw the obvious tent in the other man’s pants.

Yes, oh my God. Yes.

“Please,” he said again.

He didn’t even know what he was asking for, his brain was a fuzzy mess.

“You’re doing so well, keep going,” replied Hongjoong, grabbing his own hard cock over the fabric of his pants. “Fuck, you’re such a mess. Where did the stoic and ruthless commander go? Huh? You’ve personally apprehended some of the worst scumbags out there, but here you are getting completely wrecked by your own lust.”

Seonghwa whined, hips speeding up against the pillow. He felt so feverish that he was sweating profusely, he even felt tears building up in his eyes at the intensity of the whole situation.

“Poor thing, you’re so repressed. You’ve neglected yourself so much that your own body is rebelling against you. It’s okay, you can let go.”

The commander felt the tears spill as he came with a choked sob, rope burning his skin as he pulled on it, trying to ground himself as his body shook while he released all the tension he had built up over the past few weeks — the tension he had built up over the years, in a way.

He came for what felt like a long time and he could see the visible mess when he looked down with hooded eyes.

He swallowed in an attempt to wet his dry throat as he tried to get his breathing back to normal.

His brain still felt fuzzy and the pleasant sensations of the orgasm were spreading through his relaxed body, but the cloud of frustration that had been covering his judgment was dissipating quickly and the shame took over straight away.

He looked back at his actions and couldn't prevent the tears from coming down, this time for a very different reason. He couldn't believe he had behaved so shamelessly, that he had acted that way in front of Hongjoong.

"Shh, it's alright, you did nothing wrong" said the captain as he kneeled on the floor next to him. "I'm going to release your hands, okay?"

Seonghwa could only nod, eyes pressed tightly together and tears running down his face. He felt the captain release his hands and massage around the areas where the rope had cut through, before he gave him a cup with water. He was whispering softly as he did it, telling him over and over again that he was a good boy and he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Let's change your clothes, shall we? Do you want me to help you clean up or would you prefer if I let you do it alone?"

The navy sailor put the empty cup away and covered his face with his newly freed hands, but he didn't reply. He heard the other man leave the room and he panicked for a moment, feeling like he couldn't face the pirate right now but not wanting to be alone either.

Soon after, he heard the door open and close again, and then some rustling as the captain looked for something in a drawer.

"I have some water and clean clothes. Do you want me to do it for you?"

Seonghwa uncovered his face slowly but didn't look at the pirate. 

"I'll do it," he said. "Can…can you stay but turn around, please? I…don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course. I'm looking the other way, just let me know when you're done."

The commander looked tentatively at him and saw that he was in fact facing the opposite way.

"Thank you," Seonghwa said, meaning every single letter. 

He grabbed the bucket with water and the cloth the other had placed on the floor and peeled away the clothes he had ruined with sweat and semen. He cleaned himself and the pillow as fast as he could with the wet cloth.

"I don't want to overwhelm you even more, we can talk about this tomorrow or not talk about it at all. It's your choice. I just want to tell you once again that nothing you did was bad or shameful, Seonghwa. Never feel embarrassed of the natural reactions of your body."

The commander felt his face flush even more. He finished cleaning and put the new clothes on, before laying back on his nest and turning around quickly, back towards the pirate sitting on the bed.

"You can look now, I'm done," he said. "...thank you."

The pirate didn't reply straight away but he ended up breaking the silence by saying: “Everything is okay.”

Seonghwa's face got even warmer and he extended his arms without looking at the other man. He felt the pirate grabbing them to tie them up once again, this time separately and giving him room to move.

“Sleep well, Seonghwa.”

The commander made a noise that he hoped was a decent enough answer and listened to how the captain went through his bedtime routine before putting out the fires that were lighting up the room and getting into bed.

Seonghwa stayed awake for a long time after that, trying to understand why he had lost control over his own body like that.

–

He woke up to the noise of the door opening up and closing again. It looked very bright when he opened his eyes so it was probably quite late by his usual standards. He looked up and saw Hongjoong standing there, two bowls of food in his hands.

“Good morning. I have lunch, if you’re hungry.”

Seonghwa felt too embarrassed to look into his eyes but he nodded.

“I’d like to eat with you, if you don’t mind,” the captain added.

The commander nodded once again and looked at the other man’s legs as he came closer to him and sat down on the floor next to him before he handed him one of the bowls.

They ate in silence for a moment before Hongjoong said: “Would you like to talk about last night?”

Seonghwa had been waiting for him to bring it up but he still felt even more tension spread through his body at the question. He chastised himself and forced himself to muster the courage to reply.

You’re Commander Park Seonghwa of the Korean Navy, you’ve done much scarier things than this. What’s wrong with you?

“I apologize for my shameless behavior. I’m sorry you had to witness something like that in your own cabin. I understand if you want to punish me for it. I promise it won’t happen again. This…” he paused, “this whole situation makes me act in very uncharacteristic ways.”

The room fell silent for a while before Hongjoong snorted. “You don’t have to do that. You’re in front of a lowly pirate, remember? I’ve done far more shameless things, believe me. You don’t have to feel guilty or embarrassed. You did nothing wrong.”

Seonghwa felt himself blushing and he wanted to hide under the covers like a kid.

“Ah, there he is. I knew the flustered teenager was there, somewhere.”

The commander kicked the other man in the leg, which prompted a laugh from the pirate.

“Listen, I don’t know you that well, but I have the feeling you don’t take care of your needs very often. You exude sexual frustration on any regular day, but you’ve been stuck in here for a whole month now and I assume last night was the first time you ever seeked release since you came here. Honestly, I’d never last that long, your reaction is completely natural.”

Seonghwa kept silent and took another spoonful of food, hoping the captain would drop the topic if he didn’t get any answers.

“Actually, I feel like I’m the one who should be apologizing,” the pirate said. “I shouldn’t have done what I did, I took advantage of your desperation and made you do something I knew you’d consider humiliating just for my own pleasure. That was a very disrespectful thing to do, I’m sorry.”

The commander looked up and finally made eye contact with Hongjoong.

“...it was surprisingly mean of you.”

The captain laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. I get a bit ‘mean’ when I’m aroused and I was kind of losing my mind with lust at the moment, so my judgment just flew out of the window. I let my own desires control me without really checking if you were actually okay with what was happening. You make me act in very uncharacteristic ways too.”

Seonghwa felt his heart speed up even more.

“You…you were aroused?”

Hongjoong looked at him with a confused look on his face. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

The commander felt like he was going to combust. He had seen the other man's erection but he had thought it was an automatic physical reaction. He desperately wanted to know more, but he felt the pressing need to just end the whole conversation at the same time.

“I…” he swallowed, trying to force the words out. “I guess it makes sense. I’m a man and you are attracted to men so you probably couldn't help it.” 

The captain looked offended at that. “Do you think I go around getting excited by every man I come across? Is that something that happens to you?”

The commander was quick to reply. “No!”

“Exactly. Just because we like the company of other men doesn’t mean we’re degenerates who can’t control themselves in the presence of every single man,” the captain said. “I wasn’t aroused just because you’re a man, even if you’re an extraordinarily gorgeous one. I was aroused because I had the most repressed and restrained man I’ve ever seen tied up and completely falling apart in front of me from the simplest act.”

He thinks I’m extraordinarily gorgeous?

Seonghwa couldn’t prevent the smile that came to his face, feeling stupidly proud of that.

“So…yeah. Sorry for that. I lost my mind and behaved poorly because my dick took control of the situation.”

“It’s okay. I…I could have stopped you but I was kind of losing my mind too,” the commander said before pausing to take a deep breath and adding: “Your behavior only seemed to fuel my lust for some reason too, so it’s fine.”

Hongjoong stopped chewing and whispered: “Fuck.”

“We both behaved poorly and regret everything. We can move on now, pretend it never happened,” Seonghwa added, hoping that it’d be the end of the conversation.

The pirate smirked. “I wouldn’t say I regret everything, but I agree. Let’s pretend it never happened. I can’t promise I’ll be able to move on though, that scene came straight out of my deepest fantasies, but I’ll try.”

Seonghwa choked on the food he had in his mouth and Hongjoong laughed, smirk growing bigger.

“You’re so easily flustered. I’m amazed by the way you can go from a poised military man to this.”

The commander tried to hit him with his foot again but the other man swiftly avoided the attack.

Luckily for Seonghwa, the captain seemed to believe that was the best place to end the conversation and changed the topic by asking about the book he was currently reading.

–

Hongjoong came back to the cabin a few hours later, just after Seonghwa had just woken up from a nap, which was pretty unusual.

“Would you like to go outside for a while?” he asked.

The commander perked up, he hadn’t spent any quality time outside since their stargazing night. “Please.”

The captain laughed and came closer to undo the rope from the hook and help him get up, dragging him outside. The commander got a bit blinded by the daylight for a moment but he got adjusted soon enough. 

He looked around and took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. The pirate dragged him to the forecastle where Yeosang and Yunho were already staring at them when they came to a stop in front of them.

“Can you keep an eye on him for a while?” asked Hongjoong.

“I’m not a child,” said Seonghwa, slightly offended.

The captain smirked and raised an eyebrow. “I’m very aware of that, but sometimes you behave like a brat so I can’t just let you roam my ship unattended.”

The commander had to stop the pout that was threatening to appear at the other man’s words.

Hongjoong laughed and flicked him softly on the forehead before tying the rope to the foremast. “I’ll be back soon, be a good boy while I’m gone.”

Seonghwa side eyed him as he left before turning his attention back to the pirates in front of him.

“What was that?” whispered Yeosang.

Yunho didn’t acknowledge the question, he just kept looking at the commander and said: “We don’t have time to babysit you, stay out of the way and don’t try anything stupid.”

The commander glared back at him before he decided to break eye contact, choosing to ignore the obvious attack in order to avoid an argument. He looked around instead, trying to find land in the distance but only seeing an endless expanse of water anywhere he looked.

He tuned out what the other men were talking about and closed his eyes, leaning back against the shrouds and basking in the sunlight and the smell of the ocean.

He doesn’t know how long he stayed like that before someone crashed against him, making him lose his balance.

“YOU’RE OUTSIDE!!”

He looked down to see Wooyoung wrapping his arms around his chest and snorted softly.

Yunho gasped and grabbed the cook, quickly pulling him away from him. “What are you doing? I understand you’re on friendly terms with him but you can’t just go around hugging prisoners!”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and released his arm from the grip. “It’s fine, Yunho. I’ve told you a hundred times before, he’s not as bad as you think he is.”

“How would you even know? I’ve seen him every day since he got here and he’s barely said a handful of words to me. He just stands there looking standoffish and like he’d slit my throat if he had the chance,” the quartermaster said.

“That’s just the way his natural face looks, he’s way nicer than he seems if you actually give him a chance,” replied the cook.

“You think everyone is nice, Wooyoung. Have you forgotten that he tried to kill San?” Yunho added.

“Yeah, well, he didn’t. I’ve already told you we’ve talked about that and cleared the air, we don’t hold it against him.”

Seonghwa bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood.

“Let’s calm down,” said Yeosang. “It’s true that he’s a prisoner, but he hasn’t tried to hurt any of us besides that one time. I’m not saying that we should let him roam free, but it’s not like he can do much on his own against all of us while tied up and floating in the middle of nowhere.”

Yunho snorted loudly before he let out a humorless laugh. “None of you are seeing the situation clearly, you all keep forgetting who he is and why he’s here. He sneaked into our ship for a reason, a reason we don’t know. You,” he said, pointing at Yeosang, “have this weird admiration for him and forget that you’re not on the same side anymore. And you,” he continued, moving his hand towards Wooyoung, “have never come across the Navy. You don’t know the kind of things they do to people like us. He’s not your friend, he hangs people like us for a living.”

“Go to hell,” said Seonghwa before he could stop the words from coming out. “I hang people who deserve to be hanged. You might think I just love sending people to their deaths, but every single one of them deserves the sentence they got. If you actually think piracy simply means pushing merchants around with a pistol and robbing them without inflicting any violence like you do, then you’re the one who’s not seeing things clearly.”

“What’s going on here?”

Hongjoong climbed the stairs that lead to the forecastle two at a time. 

“You should gag your dog before you let him out, Captain,” said Yunho.

“Fuck you,” replied the commander.

“Okay, you two stop,” the captain said before turning to Seonghwa. “Are you being a brat again? I leave you alone for a second and you pick a fight with my quartermaster.”

“He started it!!”

Hongjoong turned to Yunho. “Haven’t we talked about this? Stop trying to antagonize him.”

“Someone has to keep a level head in this ship! You all keep forgetting how dangerous this man is. He probably walked into this vessel with the intention of killing us all! We’ve treated him like a guest and all we got in return is an escape attempt that almost ended in the death of our boatswain and our cook. He’ll do the same thing the moment he gets another chance.”

“Yunho, I’m not having this argument with you again. I understand why you don’t trust him, but he’s proven that we can afford to grant him some liberties, and that’s all I need to say regarding this topic. Keep an eye on him just to be on the safe side, but treat him as the guest he is. That’s an order from your captain.”

The quartermaster chuckled. “No offense, Captain, but I’m afraid your judgment is too clouded to make a rational decision about this.”

Seonghwa gasped, unable to take his attention away from the fight taking place in front of him. He could hear Wooyoung taking a deep breath next to him too, probably feeling as nervous as he was.

Hongjoong let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you insinuating that I’m not fit to run this ship? Are you questioning my capabilities as a captain? Is that it?”

“Captain, my job here is to make sure this crew is safe, even if that means I have to protect them from you. You trust me enough to be your second in command, but you simply refuse to hear me out about this. What am I supposed to think?”

“Do you seriously think I would just put my crew in danger without any care?! Have you considered that maybe I know what I’m talking about? I share a living space with this man, I think I know him a bit better than you do. I’m not stupid, Yunho, I have my reasons to do what I do.”

The quartermaster snorted. “It’s precisely because I know why you’re doing what you’re doing that I’m afraid. You’ve wanted to fuck him since you were a teenager, Hongjoong, how am I supposed to trust your judgement here? How can I know for sure that you’re not thinking with your dick right now? Can you blame me?”

Seonghwa gasped loudly once again.

What.

“If you think I’d risk harming my crew in any way just for some ass, then you’re not the man I thought you were,” said Hongjoong, disappointment evident in his voice. “This is not the time nor the place to have this conversation. Get out of my sight before I accuse you of mutiny.”

They all stayed silent for a moment before Yunho left without saying anything else.

What?!

“Wooyoung, you should go get started with dinner.”

“Ah…yes, Captain,” said Wooyoung, sending Seonghwa a look before hurrying away.

Yeosang stared at them before silently looking down at the map he had in his hands and walking away.

Hongjoong took a deep breath and untied Seonghwa’s rope from the mast, dragging him silently back to his cabin.

The commander’s heart was beating loudly inside his chest, the words of the quartermaster swimming in his head.

Seonghwa stared at the captain while he tied the rope back to the hook, but the other man never returned the gaze or said anything at all before leaving the cabin, angrily closing the door behind him with a loud bang.

Does he…

Does he really want me like that?

He tried to look back to all the interactions they’ve had since they were younger, obsessively looking for any sign that would confirm what Yunho had said.

He’s just a flirt. Even if he likes the way you look, that doesn’t mean he’d want to be intimate with you now that he got to know you better.

Seonghwa didn’t feel like he was the same person who had come face to face with Hongjoong all those times. He feels like he’d reverted back to the soft kid he’s tried to bury deep inside him in the span of a few weeks. He hasn’t felt very ruthless and composed lately, his emotions have completely gotten out of hand and he has become a whimpering mess.

Why would he ever want to lay with a man who can’t even acknowledge his desires without bursting into tears…

He tried to shake the hopeful feeling in his chest. He doesn't even know why he’s entertaining the idea. His situation is complicated enough as it is, the last thing he needs is to fall in bed with a pirate he’s seen as his enemy for almost a decade now.

You have no shame. You’re a prisoner in a pirate ship, completely at the mercy of criminals, and yet here you are thinking with your dick.

He’s successfully kept that part of himself hidden away for all his life, he doesn’t understand why it’s all he can think about now that it’s out on the surface.

He sighed and grabbed the book from the pillow, trying to distract his mind from all the possibilities. 

He had barely gone through three chapters by the time Hongjoong came back, two bowls of food in his hands.

“Do you mind if I eat here again? I don’t feel like being with the crew right now.”

Seonghwa quickly put the book aside and nodded, grabbing the bowl the pirate was handing over. He didn’t sit down with the commander like he had done during lunch, going over his desk and sitting there instead.

The navy sailor felt somewhat disappointed when he noticed the pirate sitting in the chair with his back towards him, clearly not in the mood to talk. He had already finished eating by the time the captain said something.

“Would you like some wine?”

Seonghwa frowned slightly. “I don’t know what that is.”

Hongjoong chuckled and looked for something in a drawer before turning around with a bottle in his hands. “It’s a bit like makgeolli, but not exactly. They drink it in the West, it’s really hard to find but I love the flavor.”

He grabbed two cups from the same drawer and poured the beverage before grabbing everything and moving to sit on the bed, next to Seonghwa.

“Here, try it.”

The commander took a sip and he made a face when the strange flavor exploded in his mouth. “I’ve never tasted anything like this, but I kind of like it.”

Hongjoong laughed and took a large sip of his own mug.

They drank in silence before the pirate spoke up again.

“By the way, we’ll reach Ihla Formosa in three days, we’re doing an overnight stop there before we head to Macau. Ihla is mainly a pirate base so I don’t feel comfortable leaving you there, but I’m sure you have military contacts in Macau. Would you be able to find a way to get back to Korea from there? We’re going West afterwards so I can’t take you back home with the Aurora.”

The commander felt like both his brain and body froze after hearing that.

He had abstractly known that he was going back home at some point, but he hadn’t thought about it in a while. He felt an anxious feeling spread in his chest, but he chose to ignore it.

“Yeah, I can get back to Korea from Macau on my own.”

“Good, you’ll be able to go back to your life soon,” said Hongjoong with a tense smile, before his lips dropped to a serious expression. “I apologize for what Yunho said about you. He’s had bad experiences with the Navy, he feels as distrustful of you as you do of us.”

Seonghwa put the mug down, trying to push the strange feeling away and focus on their conversation. “It’s okay, I understand. Sorry I instigated an argument with your quartermaster.”

The captain snorted. “It’s fine, we fight often. It’s one of the reasons I made him my second in command, I can always trust that he’s going to speak up when I need him to.”

The commander laid back against the pillow and smiled. “You’re such a strange captain, anyone else would see his behavior as serious treason.”

Hongjoong laughed.

“It’d take a lot more than this for me to consider his words an attack on my authority,” he said. “He’s…he’s kind of right anyway.”

Seonghwa felt his heart speed up in his chest.

“I’m being too soft on you. I have no idea why you’re here, I don’t know if you’d just slit my throat without any hesitation if that meant you get to walk free, yet I’m fighting my own crew because I feel offended on your behalf,” he said with a sad smile.

The captain sat down on the floor, leaning back against the bed and filling both mugs again. 

The navy sailor took a deep breath, trying to force the words out of his mouth. “I…I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t know why I sneaked into your ship, that’s the truth. I was feeling really frustrated that night and seeing you there, after years of unsuccessful chase, was the final straw. I felt compelled to follow you for reasons I don’t understand. I don’t know exactly what I was trying to achieve, but I can promise you I wasn’t going to go outside the law to harm you or your crew.”

The captain stared at him for a moment before a lazy smirk showed up in his face. “Somehow, I believe you. You’re surprisingly expressive and easy to read for a man who’s portrayed himself as a soulless killing tool for such a long time. I might regret it, but I kind of trust you for some reason.”

Seonghwa laughed too, feeling lightheaded and relaxed. 

“I kind of trust you for some reason too,” he confessed. “You’ve been nothing but kind and respectful to me. I never expected to receive this treatment from someone like you. From anyone, really.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, simply enjoying the energy flowing between them.

“You…you don’t have to worry about what Yunho said, by the way,” said Hongjoong without breaking eye contact. “I’m not going to do anything to you, in any way. I’d never touch a man against his will, no matter how much I want him.”

Seonghwa felt the air disappear from his lungs with a punch. His already loud beating heart picked up the pace and he felt even more lightheaded. “You…you actually want me like that?”

Hongjoong laughed and looked at him with hooded eyes. “Do you really not know? I feel like I’m being extremely obvious, like I’ve always been extremely obvious with my desire for you.”

The commander couldn’t stop looking into the other man’s intense gaze, and he couldn’t stop the words coming from his mouth either, as usual. “Even now? You said it yourself, I’m not the man you imagined me to be.”

The captain licked his lips before he stretched them out in a smirk once again. 

“I want you even more now. I wanted to push that gorgeous man down and make him fall apart under my hands to teach him a lesson. I wanted to break down his walls and make him beg for the lowly pirate he hated so much,” he explained before pausing for a moment. “I still want to push you down and make you beg, but now I don’t want to do it out of hatred, I want to do it because I want to see you embrace your true self. I want to see you fall apart under my hands while you go crazy with the kind of pleasure you’ve never allowed yourself to experience before.”

Hongjoong laughed once again and took another sip of wine before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, leaning his head back against the bed. “I want you so bad. I feel like I’m losing my mind every time you look at me with those big, shiny doe eyes. You’d be horrified if you knew the kind of things I want to do to you.”

Seonghwa took a shaky breath, trying to control the overwhelming feelings that were taking over his slow brain. He could feel the intense heat in his face and hear his harsh breathing. He felt aroused and dizzy, desperate to experience such intimacy with the pirate.

“You…you really are shameless,” he said breathlessly. “What…what if I told you that I want you too? Would you do all of that?”

The captain opened his eyes again and stared at him for a long time, trying to find something in his gaze. 

The commander fought against the need to divert his own eyes in embarrassment and maintained direct contact.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Seonghwa felt a pout form in his lips. “Why not? Didn’t you say it yourself? There’s nothing wrong with it. You want me and I want you. Isn’t that what it takes?”

Hongjoong sat straight, the smirk completely gone from his face. “It’s a lot more complicated than that in our situation.”

“Why?” he whined.

Seonghwa didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the fact that he knew he would be leaving soon, but he refused to let this go.

“Have you ever been intimate with a man?” the captain asked.

“No…”

“Nothing? At all?” he continued.

“I mean…I’ve laid with women,” said Seonghwa, feeling insecure.

“Do you feel attracted to women?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never given much thought to what I like and don’t like. I’ve always tried to stay away from looking too deep into my desires. I…was afraid of what I could find there,” he said, feeling embarrassed. “But I don’t think I do. It never felt…right.”

“That’s what I thought. I think you should wait, you should share something like that with the right person. The first experiences can be very intense and vulnerable, especially for someone like you who just barely started embracing such an important part of himself. I’m not that right person and this is definitely not the best situation to take that step.”

Seonghwa felt a rush of anger make his way from his stomach to his throat. He had told himself the same thing just hours before, but the words rubbed him the wrong way coming from the other man. “Who are you to tell me what I should do with my own life? With my own body? Just tell me you don’t want to have sex with someone inexperienced and that’s it, don’t try to twist it in a way that makes it seem like you’re doing it for my sake.”

Hongjoong looked shocked for a moment. “Woah, wait. This has nothing to do with your inexperience and I’m definitely not telling you what to do. I honestly think you should give it a thought before doing something reckless. You just started accepting your true nature, you’re so sexually frustrated that you completely lost it while humping a pillow. Seonghwa, I’m just trying to look out for you. Trust me, there’s nothing I’d love more than to take you up on your offer, but you shouldn’t just go around giving yourself to men like me just because you’re needy and I’m available and willing. The first time can mark your future experiences. I…don’t want to ruin that for you.”

The commander felt his anger evaporate at the vulnerable look on the pirate’s face and he felt his lips curve around a smile. 

Feeling emboldened by the strange alcohol and the shy expression on the usually confident face, he couldn’t help but get as close to him as the rope allowed to whisper: 

“You know what I think? I think you’re actually a gentleman.”

The pirate snorted and a darker flush was quick to show on his face. “Nobody has ever called me that before. Trust me, I’m definitely not a gentleman.”

Seonghwa smiled and licked his lips, the fluttering feeling in his belly intensifying as he watched Hongjoong follow the movement with his eyes.

“Well, sorry to break it to you but you’re definitely a gentleman, Captain.”

The pirate’s hooded gaze seemed to shine more than usual in the flickering light of the fire.

“I love it when you call me that…” he whispered.

The commander took a deep breath before saying in the same low tone:

“I really want you, Hongjoong. It’s not because I’m needy or because you’re here and available. I think…I think I’ve actually wanted you for a really long time too.”

The captain swallowed visibly and Seonghwa let the words come out freely, filling the intimate bubble they had created.

“I wasn’t completely honest with you earlier. That day, at the tavern, I was so mad that you had that man sitting on your lap. I was so, so angry. I couldn’t even think straight. I wanted to punch you so hard, but I wanted to punch him even harder.”

Hongjoong opened his eyes slightly and stared at him with a shocked expression before bursting into a really loud laugh that lasted for quite a while.

“Oh my God. Are you serious? Are you telling me that you actually broke into my ship because you were jealous of some random man?!?!”

Seonghwa pouted and looked down in embarrassment, suddenly regretting his hasty confession.

“I mean, it wasn’t the only reason…”

“Hey, it’s okay. Sorry for laughing. I just…” he paused and tried to get his laughter under control. “Here we were thinking you had sneaked into the ship to, like, set it on fire or something, but you were just…jealous.” 

The commander probably couldn’t get redder by this point, he could feel his face radiating heat.

“Well, now you know the embarrassing truth. I’m completely serious.”

Hongjoong stared at him for a while.

“You’re so cute,” he said. “Okay, promise me something. Promise that you will think about it with a clearer mind tomorrow, and if you still want to be intimate with me after, I will be more than happy to show how right sex can feel.”

Seonghwa felt the excitement increase.

“Yes, Captain.”

The pirate chuckled and pushed him away playfully. 

“Yah, don’t use my confession against me,” he said. “Let’s stop now and go to bed, before any of us does something stupid.”

The commander wanted to argue, he was really enjoying the intimate atmosphere they had created, but he also felt arousal dangerously spreading in his belly as the conversation went on, so it was probably the right call.

Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa intently for a moment before saying: “Can I trust you to not kill me in my sleep if I untie your hands?”

“I swear I won’t hurt anybody in this ship if you untie my hands,” the navy sailor said, smiling softly.

The pirate undid the rope and the commander felt he could choke on the tension he felt when the man got closer to him. Seonghwa gasped when the captain caressed the tender skin of his wrist as he freed them, and he wondered if the other man could feel his fast heartbeat there.  

They both prepared to go to bed, tension hanging heavily in the air.

Seonghwa laid in his nest and watched as Hongjoong changed his clothes. He’d usually look away during those moments, but he didn’t this time. He watched the way his chest muscles moved as he took off the shirt and put on a new one, fire igniting in his belly. He watched the way his half hard cock was creating a distracting bulge in his pants, and his own dick pulsed at the sight.

He didn’t need to think about it with a clearer mind.

Pirate or not, he wanted this man.

He wanted him badly.

He’d built his life based on the decisions other people made for him, but not this time. He didn’t care about anything else.

He wasn’t going to leave this ship without following his desires and doing what he wanted to do for the first time in his life.

He was still watching intently when Hongjoong put out the fires and got under the furs of his bed. The full moon was shining through the big windows and it allowed him to see the other man quite clearly.

Without thinking twice, he pushed his hand under the blanket that was covering him and went straight for his crotch, grabbing his half hard cock over the pants. He whined and closed his eyes, still feeling heated and light headed.

He rubbed himself over the fabric a couple of times before he carelessly pushed his hand under the pants, gripping his dick and starting to pump himself straight away.

“You are being so naughty right now.”

Seonghwa whined at the uncharacteristically raspy tone in Hongjoong’s voice and opened his eyes slightly, looking at the pirate through hooded eyes. He was laying on his side, facing him and looking at him with his usual intense gaze.

“How am I supposed to hold myself back when you're there looking so pretty while touching yourself?"

Seonghwa whined once again. "Do it."

He didn't even know what he was asking for, he just needed some proof that Hongjoong was feeling the same consuming lust, that he wasn't burning alone.

The captain stared at him before he turned to lay on his back, eyes never leaving him. He could see the way the other man’s hand traveled to his lower body under the covers, could see the way the pirate closed his eyes and exhaled in satisfaction at the first touch, before opening his eyes again and staring straight into Seonghwa. 

The commander felt like he was going to lose his mind. They hastily jerked off under the covers while looking at one another, the noises of their soft moans filling the room.

“I need to see it, please,” Seonghwa begged.

Hongjoong was quick to push the furs aside, naked erection standing proud in his fist.

“Oh my God.”

The navy sailor wanted to touch it so badly. He could feel his mouth watering at the sight.

He quickly pushed his own covers away, pushing his pants down to free his own cock completely too.

“Fuck,” the pirate said breathlesssly. “You truly are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

The commander groaned loudly, feeling even more heated at the compliment, before dropping his dick and moving to knees in order to get up. 

He needed to feel Hongjoong’s skin.

“No, stay there,” said the captain. “I meant what I said, I want you to think about it clearly before we go too far. We’re already going farther than I wanted to at this point, this is all you’re getting today.”

Seonghwa whined. “But I want you so bad.”

“It’s either this or nothing, Seonghwa.”

The commander laid back down, feeling deflated by the assertive tone on the other man’s voice.

“I want you too, gorgeous. You have no idea. Allow me to do this right for you, okay? Be a good boy and enjoy your own touch for now.”

The navy sailor grabbed his own cock again and tried to push the discontent emotions away.

I am a good boy.

His disappointment didn’t last long, though, he was quickly getting closer to his orgasm and he couldn’t stop staring at Hongjoong, drinking in every single detail he could see under the moonlight.

“You’re so beautiful too,” he said, feeling more embarrassed about the compliment than by the fact that he was half naked and touching his cock.

The captain smirked and groaned. “Do you like what you’re seeing?” 

Seonghwa whined and sped up his hand. “Please.”

Hongjoong matched his rhythm and started to stroke himself harder too. “I love the way you beg. You sound so pretty.”

The commander couldn’t stop his other hand from joining the desperate strokes on his cock, closing his eyes and arching his back, chasing his release.

“You’re doing great. Come for me, gorgeous. I want to see it.”

It only took a few more bumps before he was coming all over his first, ropes of cum falling on his chest. He laid there for a moment, trying to get his body under control, fist still holding his leaking cock.

“Fuck, you look so good.”

He lazily opened his eyes and stared at Hongjoong, who was furiously bumping his cock, still staring at him with hooded eyes. They couldn’t maintain eye contact for long because soon enough the pirate was closing his eyes, hips moving up from the bed as he came with a long groan, semen shining as it landed on his skin.

They stayed like that for a moment, basking in the feelings. 

Seonghwa cleaned himself with the closest piece of fabric and put his dick back inside the pants before laying on his side, feeling sated and sleepy. 

He was able to see Honjoong slowly cleaning himself up too before he fell asleep.

–

They didn’t speak about it when they woke up the next morning, but Seonghwa felt like he was choking with the tension he could feel flowing between them.

The nervous excitement he was feeling wouldn’t let him concentrate on anything else during the rest of the morning. Hongjoong had asked him if he wanted to go out now that he wasn’t tied up anymore, but the commander didn’t want to come across Yunho, so he stayed in the room instead. 

He tried to read, but he couldn’t focus. He tried to exercise, but it didn’t help much either. He ended up tidying up the cabin, trying to put some order in the mess the captain had created.

He had never been able to walk around the room freely, so he curiously looked at the items he found in the unknown part of the room. He was surprised to find a dangbipa, a saenghwang and a janggu laying against the wall on the other side of Hongjoong’s bed. He’d never noticed them before from his position on the floor.

He smiled when he saw the mountain of papers on the desk. He could clearly see some drawings and paintings poking out of the stacks, but he didn’t want to violate the other man’s privacy so he let them be.

He was still organizing the bookshelves by the time Wooyoung and San showed up with lunch.

“You’re not tied up anymore!!!” screamed Wooyoung.

Seonghwa laughed. “Yeah, your captain released me last night.”

“You’re practically one of us by now,” said San, dimple on display.

“Do you mind if we both eat with you? The tension is kind of unbearable right now out there,” said the cook.

Seonghwa nodded happily. He had been hoping he’d get a chance to speak with them today.

“Shall we go outside?” said San.

Seonghwa’s smile faltered. “I don’t know, I don’t want to make things worse…”

Wooyoung chuckled. “It’s fine. Yunho is just a big puppy, really. He’s just worried about us, but he’ll love you as much as we do the moment he stops seeing you as the enemy.”

They ended up going outside to eat on the deck. There was nobody else in sight, not even Yeosang, and Seonghwa felt himself relax.

They ate in silence for a moment before the commander spoke up again: “I’ve been meaning to tell you something, Wooyoung, but I was completely terrified. That day back in the cell, when you first told me about San, I…I didn’t want to make you think that I disapproved of your relationship. That’s not what I was thinking, I was just shocked by your openness.”

“That’s okay. I’m sorry for walking out on you that day too. I’m so used to being surrounded by people like me that I forgot the rest of the world doesn’t understand us. You’ve shown me that you don’t care since then, it’s fine,” replied Wooyoung.

Seonghwa took another breath, trying to muster the courage to say something he’d never said out loud. He could feel his hands shaking around the bowl.

“It’s just…me too. I…I’m…” he tried, feeling like he was choking up once again, “me too. I’m like that too.”

Both men stared at him in silence for a moment, before Wooyoung giggled. 

“I’m not exactly surprised by that. What is with this ship…” he said with a smile, “I assume people aren’t this open in the Navy. It’s okay, though, I know you just see us as a bunch of criminals, but everybody in this vessel is like us. You’re definitely not alone.”

Seonghwa gasped. “Everyone??!?!”

The couple laughed before San explained: “Yeah, in a way. There’s different levels, some of them prefer the company of women, but we all feel attraction for men. It’s kind of what pushed us together to begin with, I think. Captain Hongjoong is a special type of captain. He makes you feel comfortable and like you can just be yourself no matter what, I guess.”

The commander couldn’t deny that.

“Do you have a lover?” asked Wooyoung.

Seonghwa choked on the spoonful of food he had in his mouth. “No…I…I’ve never, ehm…no.”

Both men gasped at the same time. “Never??!!”

“Like…at all?” asked the boatswain.

The commander shook his head.

“Oh my God, that explains so much,” said Wooyoung, looking at San, who nodded solemnly.

“I only started accepting it recently, after a conversation I had with your captain.”

Wooyoung smirked. “I bet you did.”

Seonghwa choked again, this time on absolutely nothing.

San pushed the cook playfully with his shoulder. “Let the poor man be. No, but, in all seriousness: we’re really happy for you, Seonghwa. Accepting yourself when you’re different can be very hard, especially for someone who comes from a background like yours.”

The navy sailor contained the need to cry, feeling overwhelmed once again. “Thank you. It’s been…difficult, but I’m getting there.”

“Can I hug you?” asked Wooyoung, but he didn’t wait for an answer before wrapping his arms around the commander.

They made light conversation during the rest of the meal, before Seonghwa mustered the courage again to bring up the topic he’d been wanting to touch on the whole time.

“I…I might have some questions, and I was hoping you’d be able to answer them.”

Wooyoung squealed and turned to San. “Okay, you can leave now.”

The boatswain frowned. “Why can’t I stay? I want to help him too!”

“Because our bond is deeper. I’ve been patiently cultivating this friendship since day one, hoping he’d finally open up to me one day, and now it’s finally happening. He’s mine, shoo.”

Seonghwa laughed but didn’t say anything.

He’d actually feel more comfortable talking with Wooyoung alone.

“Shouldn’t we ask the captain first before we just go around with him? Especially after what happened yesterday…”

“No need. He untied him last night and doesn’t seem to mind that he can wander around on his own. Besides, I’m sure Captain Hongjoong will greatly appreciate it if I tell our commander here one thing or two.”

San looked at them both before chuckling. “Okay, whatever. It’s my turn to keep watch anyway. Have fun.”

He gave Wooyoung a quick peck on the lips, which made Seonghwa’s stomach flutter softly, before climbing up to the crow’s nest.

Wooyoung bounced excitedly before saying: “Let’s go fetch some candy before we get into it.”

The cook grabbed Seonghwa’s hand and dragged him downstairs to the part of the ship he’s never seen before. They walked past a room where Hongjoong and Yunho seemed to be deep in conversation, which made both pirates stop and stare at the pair in the hallway.

“What’s going on here?” asked the captain.

“Seonghwa has questions and we’re going to lay under the sun eating candy while we talk about it,” replied Wooyoung instead.

Honjoong stared into the commander’s eyes and he could feel himself blush at the knowing look on the other man’s face.

“I think that’s a great idea,” said the captain.

Seonghwa felt his heart bumping in his chest and he looked briefly at Yunho, who was just staring at him in silence, before he shifted his attention back to Hongjoong as the captain got closer to him.

“I’m trusting you with my crew. Behave like the good boy I know you are, okay?” he said softly.

“Okay,” Seonghwa whispered in a tone that sounded weird to his own ears.

Yunho chuckled and raised an eyebrow playfully. Seonghwa looked away proudly, trying to hide the blush that he could feel on his face.

After that, Hongjoong simply winked at him and walked away. Yunho stared at him for another moment before following behind.

“See? Everything’s good, Yunho can’t stay mad for long.”

The cook grabbed his hand again and dragged him to what he quickly identified as the kitchen.

Jongho, Yeosang and an unknown man were there when they walked in. All of them stopped their conversation and turned around to stare at him.

“We just want some candy,” explained Wooyoung, walking into the cooking space and looking around.

The commander smiled to try to relax the awkward atmosphere before he turned to the man he didn’t know, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

“Hello, you must be Mingi. Wooyoung has mentioned before that you’re the surgeon on board,” he said, trying to sound friendly.

The other man gasped and looked away quickly, which made the rest of the pirates laugh.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just intimidated,” explained Yeosang.

Seonghwa laughed lightly. “I’m…I’m not going to do anything to you. To any of you.”

Mingi nodded but didn’t look at him, and Seonghwa’s attention was quickly drawn away by a fast ball of black fur that flew past him.

“Nero!!!” yelled Wooyoung.

The commander looked down to see a black cat with a strip of dried meat in his mouth and giggled.

“You thief!!!”

The cat ran away when Seonghwa tried to pet it and he pouted in disappointment.

“He’s pouting,” whispered Jongho.

The commander cleared his throat and tried to get his expression back to blank and stoic.

“You’re not fooling anyone, we saw it,” said Wooyoung walking to him with pieces of yeot in his hands. “Let’s go.”

They walked back upstairs and settled down on the deck. Seonghwa laughed as he grabbed the candy the other man was handing his way.

“Yeot? Seriously?”

The cook smirked. 

“What? It seemed appropriate. We’re going to talk about dicks, we might as well eat them while we speak too,” he said while giggling. “So, you and the captain?”

Seonghwa took a deep breath and a bite of the candy. “Yeah, I guess. We haven’t done anything yet, but we’ve talked about it. I think it will happen very soon. I…I don’t know a lot about the way men have sex with each other. I’ve heard things, but I don't know if people are exaggerating certain parts to make the act seem humiliating or if it’s the way it’s actually done.”

Wooyoung also took a deep breath and thought for a moment before replying.

“It’s a very personal thing, it depends a lot on what the people doing it like to do. In general, it's very similar to the way men and women have sex. At least the way lowly people like me do it, I don’t know about you fancy rich people,” he said jokingly. “You can do things with your hands and your mouth, but I assume you know that. You’re probably asking about the butt part.”

The commander felt his face heating up and he didn’t think it was because of the sun. “Yeah. Is that…something that actually happens?”

Wooyoung giggled. “Yeah, it’s something that actually happens. I know it sounds embarrassing and painful and scary, and it can be all of that, but it’s very pleasurable if done correctly. I myself enjoy it quite a lot.”

Seonghwa gasped, trying to process the information. “But…isn’t it dirty?”

The cook took another piece of candy. “It’s not if you clean it the right way.”

The commander stared at the yeot in his hand, hesitant. “I don’t think I want him to do that to me, or the other way around.”

“You don’t have to,” replied Wooyoung. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You just have to be open about it and tell Captain Hongjoong what your limits are, he’s not going to go against your wishes.”

Seonghwa stayed silent for a moment. “Is that something he enjoys?”

Wooyoung laughed. “I don’t know what kind of stuff he likes, it’s not something you can tell by looking at someone. From what I’ve heard from people who have been intimate with him, it does seem like it’s something he really enjoys doing.”

The navy sailor felt some jealousy bubbling inside his chest.

“He really wants you, though, I can tell. He’ll be happy with anything you give him, regardless of the things he’s done with other people.”

They ate the rest of the candy while Wooyoung explained how to do things safely, cleanly and pain-free, and Seonghwa felt extremely overwhelmed after hearing all the information the other man had shared.

He still wanted to be intimate with Hongjoong, but he felt a lot more scared and anxious than before.

He kind of understood (and deeply appreciated) why the captain had asked him to think more about it before falling headfirst into it.

–

Seonghwa laid in his nest, nervously watching as Hongjoong put on his night clothing, hair still damp even though he had washed himself before dinner. The commander himself had been particularly thorough while washing, feeling flustered and haunted by Wooyoung’s words the whole time.

They had eaten together in the cabin again, mostly in silence and feeling the tension that indicated that both of them knew what was going to happen next.

Seonghwa took a deep breath before saying: “I talked with Wooyoung and I’ve thought a lot about our conversation from last night. I still want to have sex with you, but…not…butt things.”

Hongjoong stared at him before smiling. “We can do whatever you want to do.”

The captain sat down on his bed before patting the space next to him. “Come here.”

Seonghwa got up and slowly went to the spot, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat.

“You don’t have to look so nervous, we’ll go slow. We can stop at any time you want.”

They sat staring into each other’s eyes for a moment and Seonghwa felt slightly less nervous.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

The commander nodded and mentally prepared for it, but the sensations still caught him off guard.

He’s kissed women before. He knew there wasn’t an actual difference between men and women when it came to mouths, but it definitely made him feel something very different.

He whined and his hands went up to grab Hongjoong’s long hair, tongue coming out to lick the other man’s lips.

Seonghwa had been expecting the pirate to put a stop to his desperate need to feel more, considering the softness and restraint he had been showing so far, but he didn’t. The captain was quick to push his own tongue inside his mouth, deepening the kiss and aggressively grabbing him by the waist before pushing his body closer to his own.

They both groaned as they got lost in the kiss, and Seonghwa could feel himself growing embarrassingly hard soon enough. They kissed until the commander felt forced to stop, feeling lightheaded by the lack of air and the fast rush of blood.

Hongjoong moved his lips down his jaw the moment they separated, kissing and licking his way around his neck, paying special attention to a spot that had made Seonghwa moan loudly.

The commander was losing his mind and they were barely getting started.

He grabbed the pirate’s clothes, trying to push them away, looking for the warm skin underneath.

The captain moved back just long enough to pull both of their shirts off before going back to attach his mouth to his neck. Seonghwa moaned once again and pushed a hand in the other man’s hair, grabbing the strands as Hongjoong made his way down his collarbones.

He gasped in surprise and pulled on the other’s hair when the pirate sucked on his nipple before biting it softly, feeling shocked by the strong wave of pleasure that spread all the way from his nipple to his hard cock.

“I guess you’ve never paid attention to them before,” Hongjoong said with a smirk

“Please,” said Seonghwa, pushing his head back to his nipple.

The pirate laughed but was quick to attach his lips to his nipple, using his hand to play with the other one.

The navy sailor had never really touched anywhere but his cock and sometimes balls when he was aroused. He didn’t know men could feel this much pleasure while touching their nipples.

He pushed his dick towards Hongjoong’s chest, rubbing himself against the solid surface through his pants. The pirate moaned around the nipple he had in his mouth and lowered himself to get closer, moving against his thrusts to increase the pressure.

“Oh my God,” whined Seonghwa, feeling like he was going to lose it before he even got his pants off.

“It’s okay,” said Hongjoong breathlessly. “Let yourself go, do what feels right.”

The pirate increased the level of abuse to his nipples, biting and pinching them more aggressively than before.

The commander couldn’t stop the desperate moans that were escaping his mouth as he sped up the rhythm of his hips, rubbing against Hongjoong’s chest harder. The pirate pulled back suddenly, spreading Seonghwa’s legs more to position himself comfortably between his thighs, holding himself up by the arms and pushing his own crotch against his.

“Ah!”

Seonghwa felt overwhelmed as he felt the other man’s hard cock rub against his, despite having two pieces of fabric in between.

“Do you like it? Do you like feeling how hard you make me?”

He could only moan in response, his brain felt fuzzy and he could only focus on the pulsing need between his legs.

“Is this what you wanted? To feel another man’s hard cock against yours?” asked the pirate.

“ Yes ,” he managed to say between his harsh breathing.

Hongjoong moved his hips faster, changing the angle and putting more pressure against the head of Seonghwa’s dick.

“Oh my God, I’m—” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, instead he closed his eyes and grabbed the pillow he had under his head.

“But you didn’t want to feel any cock. You wanted to feel my cock, didn’t you?” Hongjoong said before groaning loudly. “All those years chasing after me. You wanted it to be me, didn’t you? You wanted me to be the one who gets to have you like this for the very first time.”

Seonghwa’s orgasm took him by surprise, hips coming up to seek even more friction as he came, clinging to Hongjoong’s arm next to him in an attempt to ground himself.

“Such a good boy,” whispered the pirate, still rubbing softly against his wet crotch.

The commander winced as the feeling got so intense that it started to get painful, and he pushed against the other man’s shoulder.

Hongjoong understood what he was trying to say and moved away, caressing Seonghwa’s chest softly and giggling when the touch made him tremble. He continued to gently touch his skin while the commander managed to get his body under control again.

“Do you feel like continuing or should we stop here?” 

Seonghwa felt tingly and relaxed but he didn’t feel sated, he could feel the fire coming back quickly to his lower abdomen as he looked at the other man’s heavy erection under the fabric.

“More, please,” he said as he reached out to pull the pirates’ pants down, gasping slightly when his erection bopped free.

It looked a lot bigger under the bright light of the fires in the room, he felt intimidated but he also felt his mouth water again at the sight.

Hongjoong took his pants out of the way before doing the same with Seonghwa’s. He grabbed his own cock afterwards, lazily stroking himself. 

“When you’ve laid with women, what was your favorite part?” he asked.

Seonghwa felt himself blush even harder.

“Huh? Did you enjoy burying your cock inside their pussies? Or did you prefer when they used their mouths?” insisted the pirate.

“Their…their mouths,” said the commander in a shy whisper.

“Aw, poor thing. Was it easier to close your eyes and imagine you were with a man then? Did you think about men sucking you off instead? Did you imagine me?”

Seonghwa whined again.

“It’s okay if you have, I’ve thought about it too. I’ve thought a lot about making you fall apart with my mouth. Would you like that? Do you want me to suck your pretty cock?” the pirate said, positioning himself on all four over the navy sailor once again.

Seonghwa closed his eyes and nodded before whispering: “Captain.”

He felt Hongjoong licking his navel, the muscle contracting under his tongue. The pirate bit and licked all the way from his abdomen to his inner thigh, and the commander was fully hard once again by the time he made it there.

“So sensitive…” the captain whispered against the soft skin of his thigh before brushing his lips against his balls.

Seonghwa moaned loudly and grabbed the other man’s hair as he played with balls for a while before moving up his shaft to put a soft kiss on the head of his cock.

“I want you to look at me now.”

The commander opened his eyes and lifted his head, trying to focus his blurry vision. He watched as Hongjoong held his gaze while he put his dick inside his mouth and he fought the need to look away, too overwhelmed by the sight and the sensations of the pirate blowing him.

It didn’t take him long to feel himself hovering over the edge once again. He half mindlessly tried to hold back his loud moaning but he was unable to contain it for too long.

“It’s okay, I want to hear you,” said the pirate before taking his cock back in his mouth.

Seonghwa could feel himself pushing deeper into the other man’s throat and the sensation pushed him dangerously close to his orgasm.

He pulled Hongjoong’s hair harshly, trying to warn him. “I’m…I’m…”

The pirate only took him deeper in his throat, using his hand to touch his balls before slowly dragging his finger to the space underneath, just above his hole, and rubbing there.

The navy sailor didn’t even have time to warn him again because he was coming. He could feel his body shaking and Hongjoong grabbing his hips to avoid choking but he kept going once again, milking his orgasm until the other man had to push him away with another wince.

The pirate looked as flustered and as wrecked as Seonghwa felt, his harsh breathing, dark gaze and leaking cock giving away how aroused he was. Hongjoong stared at him for another moment before moving to straddle his waist and grabbing his own dick, jerking himself fast.

The commander moaned and lifted his hand to wrap it around the other man’s cock before he even knew what he was doing.

“Do you want to touch me?” asked Hongjoong, moaning softly when he felt Seonghwa’s grip around him. “Do you want to make me come?”

“Yes.”

“Just do what you usually do with your own dick. Make it tight and fast.”

Seonghwa did exactly that, feeling his spent cock stir lightly at the sight of the pirate becoming a moaning mess under his ministrations. Feeling more confident, he used his other hand to grab the part of his dick that was unattended. 

“Ugh, just like that. Do it harder.”

He kept going for a few minutes before Hongjoong warned him with a grunt and came on his chest. He imitated the captain’s behavior and kept stroking after he had orgasmed, dragging the pleasure until the pirate fell to the side, laying next to him as he tried to get his breathing back to normal.

They looked at each other with a smile on their faces before Hongjoong reached to grab a cloth and cleaned both of them the best he could. After he was satisfied, he laid back on the bed.

“How was it?”

“It was…” the commander said before giggling. “It was incredible. I’ve never really understood why people were so obsessed about sex, I didn’t think it was anything that remarkable, but I get it now. I’ve never felt anything like that.”

Hongjoong laughed and got closer to him, using a finger to softly touch Seonghwa’s nipple. “You've been having sex with the wrong people. I’m glad I could make your first experience with a man enjoyable.”

Seonghwa hesitated for a few seconds before he got closer to him too, seeking the other man’s warmth. They laid in silence for a moment before the captain spoke up again.

“Tell me something about you. What do you like to do when you’re not out there killing pirates and saving Korea?”

The commander laughed and thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure. ‘Killing pirates and saving Korea’ is basically all I do.”

Hongjoong stared at him with a frown. “Is there anything you’d like to do if given the chance? Maybe something that you haven’t tried because you thought it wasn’t manly or proper?”

Seonghwa smiled softly when something came immediately to his mind at the pirate’s question.

“You’re thinking about something, what is it?” the captain said with a smirk. “I promise I won’t judge.”

The navy sailor bit his lip before saying. “I’ve always liked plants and flowers. I’ve read a lot about gardening and the different uses of plants, I think it’s fascinating. They can cure us and they can kill us. They’re so beautiful too.”

He stopped himself before he got too excited about it. “My father…he didn’t approve of my interest in gardening, he thought ‘acting like a farmer’ was beneath our family.”

The pirate made a sound before replying. 

“Your father sounds like an asshole.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh loudly at his candidness.

“Yeah, he kind of is.”

“There’s nothing wrong with liking plants or being a farmer. You’re right, plants are really important. We need them to stay healthy and cure illnesses. People who know about their uses are extremely smart and important for our society, but even if they weren’t, you should still be allowed to like them.”

The commander smiled and hid his face against the other man’s shoulder.

He had assumed that the pleasant smell that always seemed to linger in the cabin was the other man’s personal scent, and he was happy to confirm with a subtle sniff that he smelled better up close, even though he was kind of sweaty.

You’re being a pervert, Park Seonghwa.

“Maybe I’ll try it someday,” he said in a whisper, trying to focus back on their conversation.

“I hope you do. You’d look so pretty surrounded by flowers.”

Seonghwa laughed again and hit him in the arm softly.

“What about you? What do you like to do when you’re not running this ship?”

“Mhmm, I like to do many things. I like music, you’ve probably seen some instruments around. I like drawing and painting. I like writing. I wouldn’t say I’m very good at any of it, but I enjoy all forms of art.”

Seonghwa could feel his smile growing. “It suits you. I’d love to hear you play someday, and I’d really like to see your paintings too.”

Hongjoong caressed his arm softly before saying. “I’d love that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence after that and the commander ended up falling asleep in Hongjoong’s bed soon after, pressed tightly against the pirate.

–

“Are you busy?” Hongjoong asked, coming out of nowhere.

Seonghwa jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. He had been laying on the deck, reading under the sun with Nero resting by his side, and he hadn’t expected anyone to approach him.

“Not really,” he replied.

“Can you come with me? There’s something I’d like to show you.”

The commander put the book aside and walked after the captain, smiling shyly when the other man smirked at him. The memories from the previous night were fresh in his mind and he felt the fluttering feeling in his stomach intensify.

The pirate led him to a small room under the deck that looked like the infirmary, where he found Mingi leaning over some dried mushrooms, carefully sorting them out and writing something in a paper.

“Hey, Mingi,” said Hongjoong. “Would you mind showing Seonghwa your plant collection? He likes them too. I’m sure he’d love to hear all about them, maybe you can learn something from him too.”

The navy sailor felt his heart speed up and he looked at the captain, who winked in return before adding: “I have things to do before we reach Ilha tomorrow, you two talk about plants.”

Seonghwa turned around to look at the surgeon after the captain left, who was looking at him with wide eyes once again. He cleared his throat, trying to figure out the best way to get past the awkwardness in the air. He pointed at the dried mushrooms the other man was holding.

“Sanghwang,” he said. “I’ve never thought about it, but it’s actually a very useful thing to have in a ship, as it helps with many different kinds of illnesses.”

Mingi gasped and smiled widely. “You recognized it!! Not too many people can tell this is sanghwang when it’s dried out and sliced like this. It looks like tree bark and not like a mushroom.”

Seonghwa smiled back, feeling like he had found the best opening.

“I’ve read a lot about it. I…I love plants, as Hongjoong mentioned.”

The surgeon stared at him for a moment before he leaned over to grab a box. “Do you want to see my collection?”

The commander felt excitement spread through his chest and he could feel his smile growing bigger. “I’d love to.”

They spent hours going through the different kinds of herbs, plants, mushrooms and flowers Mingi had in his arsenal. Seonghwa had never met anyone who shared his deep interest in the topic, so they talked so much that his throat was feeling itchy by the end of it.

“I’ve tried keeping pots in the ship, but it’s impossible to make them survive in the long run. We run out of fresh water quickly and I can’t just use grog to water them, you know? I've been trying different ways to keep them alive but nothing seems to work.”

"You're very smart," said Seonghwa, smiling.

Mingi gave him a shy smile and diverted his eyes. "I'm definitely not smart, I'm kind of chaotic and useless at many things. I just really like plants."

"Well, I think you are."

The surgeon looked into his eyes again and stared for a while before saying. "I think you're very smart too, and a lot nicer than I thought you'd be. I was a bit scared of you after our brief interaction years ago, but you're actually surprisingly sweet."

Seonghwa frowned. "We've met before?"

Mingi laughed. "Kind of. It was many years ago, I was 18 at the time. You tried to kill me but the captain pushed you off. Well, he wasn't the captain at the time, but whatever. We were on our way out after pillaging a merchant ship when the Navy arrived."

The memory flashed into his mind. He remembered that day, he’d been 19 at the time and it’d been the second time he had ever come across Hongjoong.

"Oh, that was you? I'm sorry. If it helps, I wasn't trying to kill you, I wanted to apprehend you alive."

Mingi laughed. "It's okay, it's the way things work. We're criminals and you're the authority, I guess."

Seonghwa smiled and picked up a dried flower. "I'm having trouble seeing you all as criminals, to be honest."

Their conversation was abruptly cut short when Yunho walked into the room and stopped in shock after he saw Seonghwa sitting there.

"Hi, love," said Mingi cheerfully.

"Why are you alone with him?" asked Yunho.

The navy sailor felt himself tense. He didn't want another argument.

"Hongjoong wanted me to show him my collection. He knows so much about plants!! Even more than me probably!! He's really smart and really nice, I've gotten a lot of tips from him."

Yunho and Seonghwa stared at each other for a moment, but before the commander could say anything at all, the quartermaster was leaving the room with a huff.

They stayed in silence for a moment after that before Mingi said: "Don't worry about him. He's very protective of us and he doesn't like changes, you've disrupted life on this ship quite a bit. I'll talk to him, he won't be able to say no to me."

Seonghwa laughed softly. "Is he…is he your lover?"

Mingi hesitated for a moment. "Yeah…"

The commander smiled reassuringly. "It's okay. I'm like that too."

He noticed with glee that it was starting to get easier to say it out loud.

The surgeon opened his eyes and his mouth very widely. "Oh, wow…"

"Yeah…"

A light awkwardness seemed to hang in the atmosphere, but that was not the reason why the commander suddenly got up and told Mingi that he had something to do before storming off.

Seonghwa made his way through the ship, determination guiding his feet as he looked for someone.

He was so focused that he almost collided with Jongho as he turned the hallway to go up the stairs. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it was my fault,” said Jongho with a smile.

The commander found that the gunner slash carpenter was a lot nicer when he wasn’t glaring at him. He kind of looked like a baby when he smiled.

Seonghwa had a big soft spot for babies.

"Have you seen Yunho?" 

Jongho raised an eyebrow but replied: "He's outside with Yeosang."

"Thank you!"

The navy sailor found the pair deep in conversation on the quarterdeck, so he waited in his position until they were done before approaching them.

“Can we talk?” he said, looking straight at Yunho.

Yeosang looked between them before making a hasty retreat.

“I know you don’t like me and I’m fine with that, but I’d like to offer a truce. I don’t want the rest of the crew to feel uncomfortable because of us, especially not Hongjoong. You’ve all been extremely kind to me and I don’t want to cause more troubles than necessary. I’ll be gone soon, as you probably know, so let’s make the rest of my time here as painless as possible for the sake of everyone else.”

Yunho only stared at him, a smirk slowly creeping up on his face.

“I know you probably won’t believe me, but I didn’t intend to cause any harm to the Aurora or its crew when I first walked into this ship,” he continued, mustering the courage to say what he needed to say without getting flustered. “I was feeling really irritated at the time and your captain has been a constant source of frustration in my life, so I felt even more annoyed when I saw you all in that tavern. I just wanted to face him and—well, I’m not sure what I wanted, yell at him a little, but I wasn’t going to hurt you. I promise on my honor.”

The quartermaster didn’t say anything, he just stared at him with a smirk on his face.

What’s with this crew and their fucking smirks.

“Okay.”

Seonghwa blinked a couple of times. “That’s it?”

Yunho shrugged. “What else do you want me to say? Everybody keeps talking wonders about you, so I’ll believe them. You have my captain vowing for you and now even my own partner talks about you with stars in his eyes. I trust them both with my life, so I guess you’re probably not that bad.”

The commander had been prepared to fight the quartermaster so he felt a bit deflated, but he nodded awkwardly anyway.

“Okay…well…thank you.”

The taller man laughed loudly and grabbed his shoulder. “Why don’t we go downstairs? It’ll be dinner time soon.”

Seonghwa felt his heart bumping in his chest. He’d never eat with the whole crew. He honestly didn’t know if he was ready for that.

That’s what he ended up doing, though.

He rushed into the cooking area the moment they got into the kitchen, offering his services to Wooyoung to try to get away from the crowd and calm his nerves.

Hongjoong smiled widely when he saw him, but didn’t acknowledge the fact that he was eating with everyone else directly.

Seonghwa didn’t speak much during dinner, but he could feel his tension slip away as he saw the crew playfully interact with each other.

He’d never seen this kind of family-like atmosphere in the Navy and he felt a strange pressure in his chest.

He was sitting between Yeosang and Mingi, and they both made sure to talk to him and ask him questions about sailing and plants.

He found himself thinking, once again, that this crew was extremely odd.

He also tried to push away the anxious part of his brain that told him he’d never be able to go back to his old self after everything he’s been through here.

–

Seonghwa moaned loudly, fingers pulling on Hongjoong’s hair roughly.

He had felt like he was going to lose his mind with pleasure the previous night, but somehow it only seemed to get better the second time. Or maybe it was actually getting worse, he wasn’t sure.

The pirate had been teasing him with mouth for what felt like an extremely really long time, paying attention to parts of his body he’d never even noticed before. He’s been sucking his cock on and off the whole time too, pulling away when he got close to orgasm and focusing his attention on his thighs, his nipples or his waist as he waited for the commander to calm down and move away from the edge.

Seonghwa was really close to just pushing him away and taking care of the matter himself.

He felt sweaty and flustered, his body was tense and his breathing seemed unable to get to a healthy, normal rhythm. 

“Please…” he repeated for what felt like the millionth time.

Hongjoong only smirked at him and licked the glob of pre-cum from the top of his cock before moving down to suck on his balls before moving back up to his navel.

The navy sailor whined, hands pulling on his own hair now.

“You really have the most beautiful waist,” said the captain, wrapping his hands around said waist. “How can every single part of you be this pretty?”

Seonghwa whined once again. He felt like he could explode every time Hongjoong praised him in any way.

“Captain…”

The pirate groaned softly and made an attempt to turn him around by the waist he was still grabbing. “Shall we see if the most hidden parts are also beautiful?”

The commander went along with the movement and ended up on his hands and knees on the bed. Fear took over the pleasant sensations as he remembered with terror the conversations he’d had with Wooyoung about this kind of practices.

“Don’t worry, gorgeous. I’m not going to put anything inside, I just want to see your pretty hole,” Hongjoong says, massaging his ass cheeks before pushing them farther apart to get a better view. “As pink and beautiful as I knew it’d be. Can I give it a little kiss?”

Seonghwa blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out if he had heard correctly.

“What?” 

“I’d like to kiss it a little, if you allow me,” replied the captain.

Wooyoung never told me about that.

“Why…why would you want that?” he asked, confused.

“Because I love kissing pretty holes.”

“It’s…a dirty place,” he said, hesitant.

“It’s not dirty if you wash yourself properly, and I know you well enough by now to know you’re very particular about cleanliness.”

The commander felt completely frozen in place, he had never known this was an actual thing and he didn’t know what to think about it.

“We don’t have to, it’s just something I enjoy doing and I think you might like it way more than you expect. Not to brag, but I’ve been told I’m really good at it.”

Jealousy flared hot in his stomach. He really didn’t want to be reminded that he was just another lover in his long list of conquests right now.

“Okay,” he said before he even had time to actually think about it, feeling more annoyed than scared at that point.

I’m not going to be less than the whores he’s had sex with.

“You can ask me to stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable.”

Seonghwa didn’t even have time to reply before he felt a wet, warm pressure go from the sensitive place behind his balls to the top of the crack. He gasped, hands gripping the fur underneath him.

Hongjoong bit his butt cheek softly before he put his mouth directly against his hole, the tip of his tongue coming out quickly to caress the muscle there.

The commander felt light headed, confused at how such a gentle touch can create such a strong sensation.

It only got more intense after that.

Seonghwa wasn’t even sure of what the other man was doing exactly, he just felt like that little place was directly connected to his cock and he felt even more feverish than before.

He felt particularly sensitive and every brush of his wet tongue and lips seemed amplified.

“Please,” he said again.

“What is it? Do you like it? Are you enjoying having your pretty ass eaten by a lowly pirate?”

Seonghwa moaned and he felt his arms shaking, he was going to collapse on the bed at any moment now.

“I’m going to try something now. Remember you can stop me at any time, okay?”

The commander could only whine in response before he felt the other man’s tongue push against the resistance of his hole and get inside.

He didn’t know how it was possible, but it felt like Hongjoong was going way deeper than he rationally knew he could go with his tongue.

It felt explosive.

He groaned and fell to his elbows, unable to support his weight on his hands anymore.

The pirate kept pushing his tongue in and out, wetly and roughly, and every single brush against his sensitive inner walls sent a current of pleasure straight to his hard cock.

“You’re opening so beautifully for me, just like I knew you would. I’m fucking you right now and you’re loving it.”

He hashtly grabbed his dick, jerking himself off as Hongjoong pushed his tongue deeper and deeper. The pirate pushed his hand away when he noticed what he was doing, quickly gripping his cock and stroking it himself as he kept licking his hole.

In his feverish state, Seonghwa felt the need to ask him to go deeper, desperate to scratch an unexpected itch that was starting to flourish somewhere inside him. He didn’t have the time to voice that desire because he was coming all over the bed soon after, high whine echoing in the room as his body pushed back against Hongjoong’s tongue. 

His limbs gave out the moment he stopped coming, falling loosely on the bed as he tried to recover.

The pirate laughed against his hole before giving it a last kiss and laying down next to him. Seonghwa opened his eyes slowly and stared at Hongjoong, focusing on the way his wet, red lips spread wide around his smirk, the way he was lazily stroking his own cock while looking at him.

Desire spread all the way from his chest to his groin once again, and he felt the courage to do what he had wanted to do since the previous night. He got up with some effort and moved to stand on his hands and knees next to the pirate, who seemed to understand what he was trying to do and turned to lay on his back, dropping his hard cock in the way.

He didn’t say anything, he just looked at Seonghwa with that intense gaze, waiting to see what he’d do. The commander kissed him deeply, which the other man happily returned with a sound of surprise. The pirate tasted different and he tried not to hide in embarrassment as he recalled where his mouth had been just minutes earlier.

He continued kissing down his jaw, imitating what the other man had done to him before. He focused on his nipples and was happy to find that they seemed to be just as sensitive as his, and he felt empowered when he felt the captain’s hand gripping his hair roughly.

His scalp seemed to be connected to his dick too, because he couldn’t help but moan in pleasure every time the other man pulled too hard.

Soon enough, he had come face to face with the other man’s hard cock. It looked a lot bigger and more intimidating up close and all the confidence he had built up seemed to evaporate.

“What is it? Do you want to use your pretty mouth on me?” Hongjoong said, slowly caressing his scalp before gripping the strands harder, pushing his head down towards his dick. 

The navy sailor felt dizzy and excited, and he just let himself be led by the other man’s hand. He opened his mouth the moment his lips made contact with the tip of his cock, curious tongue coming out to get a taste of the pre-cum that had gathered there. It wasn’t as unpleasant as he thought it’d be.

Hongjoong grabbed his own dick with his free hand and pushed it into Seonghwa’s mouth, guiding his movements.

“Come on, gorgeous. Suck my cock.”

He found that he only had to focus on sucking and keeping both his mouth open and his teeth away, as the captain was doing everything else, simply using his mouth the way he wanted.

Seonghwa had never felt more aroused in his life, despite the soreness that was starting to spread in his jaw and the saliva that was dripping down his mouth.

He choked when Hongjoong pushed a bit too deep and he could feel a long string of pre-cum fall from his hard cock.

“You just came but you’re so hard again, just from being a good boy and letting me fuck your mouth. You’re making me feel so good.”

The commander moaned and he couldn’t help but grab his own dick once again, pumping it hard as he felt the other man push against his throat.

You’re acting like the whores he’s had sex with, Park Seonghwa.

They kept going for some unknown amount of time and the navy sailor had grown closer to his orgasm once again by the time Hongjoong cursed and quickly pulled away, jerking himself off roughly before coming with a long groan, ropes of cum landing on Seonghwa’s face.

The navy sailor stroked himself harder and soon enough he was coming for the second time, adding to the mess they had created on the sheets.

He basked in the pleasant feelings rushing in his body before he opened his eyes and curiously used his tongue to catch a glob of cum that had landed close to his mouth. He hummed as he tasted it, finding it to be saltier and more bitter than the pre-cum but still pleasant enough.

“Fuck, you’re going to be the end of me,” said Hongjoong with a breathless laugh.

They both (poorly) cleaned themselves and laid on the only dry space on the bed, cuddling close to avoid laying on the wet spot.

Seonghwa had found that he really, really enjoyed the feeling of being surrounded by the other man’s warm skin.

“How was it?” asked Hongjoong.

The commander made a pleasant hum, so relaxed and satisfied that he didn’t even have the energy to speak.

The pirate laughed and stroked his hair.

“I’m very happy to hear that. I’m really enjoying what we’re doing too,” Hongjoong said in a whisper. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Would you like to come with us tomorrow? Ilha Formosa is mainly a base for Western pirates so I don’t think you’d have any issues, they rarely cause any trouble and I doubt any of them would be able to recognize you. You haven’t walked on firm land for almost six weeks, I’m sure you want to.”

The navy sailor smiled and whispered back: “I’d love that.”

“We can go shopping and I’ll get you anything you might need before we part ways too. There are many interesting foreing artifacts that we won’t be able to find in Macau, I’ll buy them for you so you can take them back home with you.”

Seonghwa didn’t reply, he just tried really hard to focus on the pleasant sensations and ignore the crushing disappointment he could feel creeping up as he laid there, watching Hongjoong’s chest rise and fall with each breath he took.

–

Seonghwa had never been to Ilha Formosa, since it was full of Dutch and Portuguese pirates and they didn’t really pose a problem for Korea, so he was loving looking at the variety of strange foreign artifacts he’d never seen before.

He was walking around with Wooyoung and Mingi, since Yeosang and Jongho had stayed behind to look after the ship, and Hongjoong, San and Yunho had wandered off to ‘take care of some business’. He had barely had enough money on him to pay for dinner when he had walked into the Aurora, so he was sadly unable to buy any of the shiny fascinating things he was seeing.

He was intently looking at some strange clothing he’d never seen before when he felt lips brushing his ear and a voice say: “That’s a corset.”

He got startled and almost dropped what he had in his hands, turning around to see Hongjoong smirking next to him. He hit him lightly on the shoulder and cursed him out, trying to get his heartbeat back to normal.

“Sorry, you seemed so focused and confused, I couldn’t help myself,” the pirate said.

“Are you done with the ‘business’ you had to take care of?” he said, looking around and noticing that everybody else seemed to have vanished from their vicinity.

“Yeah, all done. We can buy anything you might need now,” the captain said, picking the black piece of fabric from Seonghwa’s hands. “Let’s start with this.”

The commander frowned. “I don’t even know what that is, I was just curious because I’ve never seen anything like it. I feel bad enough about you spending money on me, I don’t need useless things.”

Hongjoong just ignored him as he spoke with the merchant in a language he didn’t know and paid for the thing.

“I told you, it’s a corset. It’s not useless, I actually think it’d suit your beautiful tiny waist perfectly. Come here,” he said, dragging the navy sailor to a more secluded space in the busy street.

He stared in confusion as the pirate looked at him intently before buttoning his long black and white coat all the way up, adjusting the fabric until he seemed satisfied with the way it looked. He then wrapped the corset-thingy around the commander’s waist on top of the coat, expertly clipping the hooks on the front before moving to stand behind him to work with the strings on his back.

The process seemed really complicated, but Hongjoong clearly knew what he was doing.

Before he could ask what was going on, the captain pulled on the strings aggressively and he felt the corset wrap tightly around him.

So tightly that it made it hard to breathe.

“What the hell?! What is this?!”

“It’s something women use in the West, it accentuates the curves of their bodies,” Hongjoong explained as he moved to stand in front of him again.

Seonghwa was about to yell at him to take this thing off when he noticed the intensity in the other man’s gaze.

“Shit, you look so good.”

The commander inhaled, feeling arousal start to build up inside him at the expression on the captain's face.

“I want to fuck you with only the corset on,” whispered Hongjoong.

Seonghwa didn’t know how he’d be able to have sex in this thing without passing out from the lack of air, he could barely breathe as it was when they were being intimate, but he was willing to try if it meant the captain would continue looking at him like that.

He gulped and nodded, staring back and feeling a blush heat up his face.

“Don’t look at me with those doe eyes while wearing that, I might do something I shouldn’t do out in public.”

The commander cleared his throat and walked away fast, feeling flustered and needing some space to breathe.

Hongjoong came running after him, laughing.

They spent the next couple of hours walking around, looking at the stands and quickly filling the satchel the captain had brought with him. The pirate explained to the navy sailor what everything was and he didn’t even hesitate to buy everything that seemed to particularly catch the commander’s attention.

He’d even bought him a small, wood-carved figure of a cat after Seonghwa had embarrassingly squealed the moment he saw it.

They stopped by the ship to drop everything, where he found the rest of the crew, waiting for them so they could all go to have dinner.

Wooyoung and San stayed behind to watch the vessel and to enjoy ‘some time alone’, according to them, but everyone else walked out to a particular tavern everyone seemed to enjoy.

Seonghwa felt excited. His mind was reeling with all the new, fascinating things he had seen all day and he couldn’t wait to try some foreign foods next. He’d even grown accustomed to the constricting feeling of the corset-thingy.

They walked into the tavern and sat down. The commander tried not to stare too intently at everyone else, but he was fascinated by the exotic features of some of the men there.

His attention was suddenly pulled away when a very beautiful man with dark skin approached them with a wide smile and instantly wrapped his arms around Hongjoong, giving him a kiss on the cheek and telling him something in a language the navy sailor didn’t recognize.

Seonghwa stared at the pair as he felt his whole body tense up in a matter of seconds.

Everybody else on the table turned to look at the commander straight away and Yunho snorted loudly at whatever expression he saw on his face. It must have been quite a menacing look, because the unknown man quickly unwrapped himself from the captain the moment he crossed eyes with Seonghwa, raising his hands in surrender and walking away after telling the commander something he couldn’t understand.

Hongjoong was staring at him with the fucking annoying smirk on his face by the time Seonghwa considered that the man was far away enough to bring his attention back to his companions.

He tried to convey his annoyance with his eyes but instead of fear, all he could see reflected back on the pirate’s face was amusement.

Things calmed down momentarily while they ordered the food in Chinese and started eating, but soon enough more men would come to talk to Hongjoong with flirty smiles and loose hands.

The captain never touched them back but he didn’t fight them off either, opting to look at Seonghwa every time instead, playful glee shining in his eyes as he watched the commander get more and more annoyed.

“Seonghwa, would you mind coming with me to ask for more drinks? My Chinese isn’t very good,” said Yeosang suddenly.

The commander didn’t move until he saw the man that had been currently leaning on the table next to Hongjoong walk away.

“Come on,” said the sailmaster, grabbing his arm and dragging him away.

They reached the innkeeper and asked for more soju, waiting around so they could carry them back to the table themselves.

“We don’t want anyone to think we’re looking for trouble,” said Yeosang. “We’d look a lot less threatening if you stopped staring at everyone who gets too close to the captain like you’re going to murder them.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just looking around to make sure nobody recognizes me,” Seonghwa replied.

“That’s definitely not what you’re doing,” the sailmaster said while rolling his eyes. “You’re keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t touch someone who isn’t you.”

The commander glared at him but didn’t reply.

“I get it. We all know you and the captain are being intimate now, but we don’t want to start any fights so try to keep it down. He’s just playing with you, anyway. Don’t let him win.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath. “You…you all know? Did Wooyoung tell you?”

Yeosang laughed. “No, he didn’t tell us anything. You’re just not being exactly quiet at night. The captain’s cabin is secluded, but the sound still travels fairly clearly to our quarters if it’s loud enough.”

The navy sailor felt his face heat up quickly when he understood what the other man was trying to imply.

“I’m sorry I just…” he said, feeling annoyance win over embarrassment. “Has he fucked half of the men on this Earth or something?!?!”

The sailmaster laughed loudly before saying: “It is true that he’s had sex with some of these men, but not all. Most of them just wish they had and they use any opportunity to try to gain his attention, hoping they’d be the next chosen one. You’re not the only one who feels drawn to him, you know?”

Seonghwa sighed.

Yeosang was right, he could understand why these men were gagging for a bit of attention from Kim Hongjoong. He wasn’t better than them, he was just as pathetic.

Doesn’t mean he has to like it, though.

The innkeeper put the drinks in front of them and they grabbed them before heading back to the table.

The moment he turned around, drinks in hand, he was smacked in the face with a clear view of yet another pretty man flirting with the captain. Only this time, this one was sitting on Hongjoong’s lap, playing with a strand of his long hair and laughing loudly.

Before he knew what he was doing, Seonghwa was already walking fast towards the table.

He put the drinks down angrily, not even caring that some of the liquid had spilled over to land on his hands.

“Excuse me, would you be so kind as to step the fuck away? That’s my seat.”

Chapter Text

The unknown man broke the awkward silence that had followed his outburst with a loud laugh.

“Is it?” he said in Korean.

Seonghwa hadn’t even noticed that he had spoken in his mother tongue without even knowing if the other man would be able to understand him, but he was happy to see that he did.

“Yeah, so fuck off.”

The man looked at him with a grin and leaned back against Hongjoong’s chest, getting more comfortable on his lap.

Seonghwa wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth.

“Mhm, I don’t know about that. I’ve never seen you before and I've been sitting on this seat for years now. I think I have seniority here,” the man said.

“I don’t give a fuck. It’s mine now so I need you to get up before I make you.”

The man laughed once again, laying his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Our captain here doesn’t seem to be complaining, so it looks like your time might be up.”

The commander stared at Hongjoong, looking for some kind of reassurance, but the pirate was simply watching them with the fucking smirk on his face.

“You obviously don’t know the rules of this game. Do you think he’s your husband or something?” continued the man. “You’re not special, pretty boy. You enjoy your turn and then move on with your life, like the rest of us do. You get to have another ride down the line if you’re lucky, but he’s not ‘yours’. That’s not how this works.”

His words felt like a punch to the stomach. The cloud of jealousy was quickly replaced by embarrassment and he chastised himself for behaving erratically and impulsively once again. He looked around the table to see the grins on everybody’s faces, and he swallowed as he felt his face heat up.

The man was right.

He was a nobody. He was just another lover for Hongjoong. He’ll leave the Aurora soon and they’ll both move on with their lives. They'll walk away to never see each other again unless they cross paths in the middle of the ocean by accident. They’ll go back to being a pirate and a navy commander, opposite sides of the spectrum.

Seonghwa will forever be haunted by the memories of their shared intimate moments, he’d never be able to forget about the pirate as the years went by. He’ll think about him while laying in bed next to whatever woman he’d have to marry, just like he’s been thinking about him in one way or another since the moment he laid eyes on the pirate inside that dirty cell almost a decade ago.

The commander will forever be stuck in this moment in time, but Hongjoong will move on onto the next pretty boy who will willingly and enthusiastically fall into his bed. Seonghwa will become the shadow of a memory in the other man’s mind, just another faceless man who had begged for more like the rest of them.

He swallowed once again, forcing himself not to cry, and sat down.

“You’re right, I’m not special,” he replied without looking at the pair. “That’s not how this works.”

He grabbed one of the bottles he had hastily put down on the table and focused on cleaning the liquid that had spilled over the sides with his hand. 

He heard the man laugh again before saying: “Of course I’m right. You don’t even seem to be his usual style, to be honest. You look so uptight, can you even satisfy his needs properly? He’s a man with a strong appetite, I’m—”

“That’s enough, Minho.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but look up at the firm tone in Hongjoong’s voice.

The man (Minho) laughed and grabbed another strand of hair playfully, but the captain moved his head away and pushed him off his lap with a serious expression on his face.

Minho frowned and pouted as he stood up. “Come on, Captain. We have so much fun together, are you seriously choosing him over me?”

“You should go back to your own captain now, he’s looking at us. I’m sure you can have plenty of fun with him,” Hongjoong said, pointing with his head to the side.

The navy sailor looked that way, only to find a man already watching them, looking as annoyed and unamused as Seonghwa felt. The man stood up the moment he saw them staring at him, walking over to their table with a confident stance.

“Is he behaving like a bad boy?” the man asked the moment he reached the table.

“Isn’t he always?” replied Hongjoong with a snort.

The man chuckled and grabbed Minho by the arm. “We’re going back to our table, apologize to Captain Kim and his crew for causing trouble first.”

He only got an eye roll as a reply.

The man sighed and turned to Seonghwa. “Hello, you must be a new crew member. My name is Bang Chan and this is my pain in the ass, Lee Minho. I don’t know what he said to you but I apologize on his behalf. He’s just a spoiled brat, don’t pay him any attention.”

Seonghwa stared at him for a moment before forcing a smile. “It’s fine, I was the one who started it. I’m not a crew member, I’m just hitching a ride.”

Bang Chan looked at Hongjoong with a raised eyebrow but didn’t ask about it, instead he said: “Where are you heading next? I’m meeting someone in Macau and I’d like you to be part of that conversation, if you’re in the area.”

“We’re actually heading to Macau next, we’re going West.”

“Are you in a hurry? I still have things to do here before leaving, but I think I can meet you in Macau in about a week and a half,” said Bang Chan.

“Sure, we have a tight schedule but that timeline works for us. Why don’t we meet tomorrow morning before we leave and you tell me more about this person?”

“Deal,” replied the other man before pushing Minho by the neck. “Apologize and say goodbye.”

“You’re going to break your own heart, pretty boy. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

Bang Chan chuckled and pushed him away without saying anything else.

Silence hung in the air once again and Seonghwa could feel everybody looking at him despite the fact that he was avoiding any kind of eye contact.

“Are you okay?” Yeosang whispered next to him.

“Yeah, I think I’m just a bit drunk,” he replied.

He wasn’t and they all knew it.

Yunho was quick to change the topic and the tension seemed to relax a little during the rest of their meal, but Seonghwa stayed quiet the whole time.

He could see a couple of men coming to flirt with Hongjoong out of the corner of his eye, but the captain was quick to send them their way with little acknowledgement. The commander could feel the heavy weight of the other man’s gaze, but he didn’t look in his direction during the rest of the night.

As they walked back to the ship, the navy sailor tried to desperately think of ways to avoid the conversation that was clearly going to take place the moment they walked into the captain’s cabin.

He tried to ask for Yeosang’s help with his eyes but the sailmaster simply gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder before heading to his room with the rest of them.

“Can you help me get this thing off, please?” he whispered the moment they got inside the cabin, desperately needing the corset off.

Hongjoong slowly released him without saying anything or even trying to make eye contact with him. The commander felt like he could choke with the tension, he needed to get out of there.

He grabbed the things he needed and quickly went outside to wash himself, hoping that the man would already be asleep by the time he made it back.

He wasn’t.

He was laying on his bed, fires still lit and looking straight at him the moment he walked through the door.

The commander diverted his gaze and hastily moved towards his nest, even though he hadn’t slept there since the first night they had sex. He laid down and covered himself with the furs, turning around to avoid facing the captain. He was hoping the other man would take the hint and save him from embarrassing himself any further.

“I’m sorry,” said Hongjoong. “I was just playing with you, I didn’t think you’d react that way. The last thing I want is to make you feel upset.”

Seonghwa closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep his tears at bay.

You’re pathetic, Park Seonghwa.

“You have nothing to apologize for, I don’t know what came over me. You can do whatever you want to do, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I…I forgot my place. Sorry if I ruined your plans with that man, you can still look for him and bring him back. I’ll go to sleep with the rest of the crew, I’m sure he will be more than happy to keep you company for the night.”

He really, really wished he could shut up but his brain-to-mouth filter has never worked properly in the presence of Kim Hongjoong.

The captain didn’t reply to his nervous rambling straight away and Seonghwa prayed that he had fallen asleep and hadn’t heard a single word, but, much to his dismay, the pirate broke the silence soon after.

“Minho was wrong. You’re definitely special and you’re definitely my style.”

The commander pressed his eyes tightly, trying really hard to avoid crying. 

He didn’t need the other man’s pity, he didn’t want to hear about it.

Awkward silence filled the cabin once again.

“I’m…I’m going to tell you a very embarrassing story that nobody knows. Not even Yunho and Mingi know the real full extent, only parts of it,” said Hongjoong. “I was young and naive, so don’t judge me too hard, okay?”

He could hear the captain take a few audible deep breaths, clearly hesitant to share this story.

“You don’t have to,” interrupted Seonghwa in a soft tone.

The pirate stayed silent for a while after that and the commander assumed that was it, but it wasn’t.

“When I was 16, I met a boy who made a huge impact in my life. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and he made my heart beat in a way I had never felt before,” he said before pausing for a few seconds. “I was in a very bad situation when we met. I was convinced I was going to die soon and I was feeling extremely terrified and alone, stuck in a jail cell while waiting for my end to come. I had lost all hope, but he quickly became a beacon of light in the darkness.”

Seonghwa’s heart seemed to bump against his ribcage.

“That boy was you.”

The commander took a shaky breath and slowly turned around, facing the pirate.

The captain had a bright blush on his face but he was looking at him with confidence and determination in his eyes.

“I knew I was different since I was very young, but I didn’t get to interact with that many men—let alone boys my age—while I was growing up, so I wasn't completely sure of what that actually meant at the time. Everything clicked into place the moment you walked into that dungeon like a celestial being, I finally understood what people meant when they talked about having butterflies in their bellies while looking at someone.”

Hongjoong stopped and a shy laugh came out of his mouth.

“It’s embarrassing, but I felt like I had fallen in love at first sight. I wasn’t counting the seconds until my execution anymore, I was counting them until I got to see you again. I’d spend my days obsessively thinking about your big doe eyes and the beautiful blush on your face, wondering how far down that flush went. I’d fantasize about what would happen if you felt the same way and decided to set me free and run away with me, what kind of adventures we’d live together as we traveled across the Seven Seas, having sex in beaches all around the world. The captain and his partner.”

Seonghwa felt like he was blushing as hard as the pirate right now. He didn’t know what to say so he just laid there, listening to the other man share his side of their story.

“I kept thinking about you even after I was given a pardon because of my low rank and age. I imagined we'd met again as enemies, but that you’d still choose to drop everything and run away with me to join me in my travels. Then we actually ran into each other and reality hit me in the face,” he said before laughing sadly. “It dawned on me that I didn’t know anything about you, I didn’t even know your name for the longest time. Everything I thought I knew was based on my own teenage fantasies, and soon enough I noticed that you weren’t the person I had made up in my head. You looked at me with such hatred and disgust in your eyes every time we crossed paths, I quickly realized that I was in love with an illusion and not with an actual person.”

He stopped talking to take another breath, eyes never leaving Seonghwa’s.

“What I’m trying to say with all of this is that you’re special to me because you were my first love, in a weird way, even if the boy I fell in love with wasn’t entirely you. And you are literally my style because you set the standards for what I'd look for in my lovers as I grew older. You made me realize just how much I absolutely enjoy teasing pretty boys with big doe eyes, how much I love seeing them slowly become an overwhelmed flustered mess because of me.”

Seonghwa laughed softly.

Yeah, the captain certainly had a knack for that.

He uselessly touched his own chest, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat. None of them said anything for a moment.

“I think…you were my first love too, in the same weird way. I’ve always pushed these desires deep inside me without looking too much into it, but I’ve been thinking a lot about my strange obsession with you,” he said, moving his gaze away to avoid direct eye contact with the other man and focusing on his lips instead. “I used to think you were making fun of me with your comments, because other teens tried to humiliate me by insinuating I was attracted to other boys all the time. I was really frustrated because I didn’t know why a random dirty pirate made me feel so flustered. I had heard those things many times before, but you made me feel so weird that I couldn't stop thinking about you even after I got out of that dungeon.”

He could see Hongjoong’s lips curve up slightly but he didn’t say anything, allowing him space to express himself.

“I think I started seeing you as the embodiment of my desires. I was frustrated because you had made me feel like a fool every single time we had interacted, but I think deep down I was even more frustrated because I felt very attracted to you and I was extremely ashamed of it. I was trying to obsessively fight you because you represented the most embarrassing part of myself.”

He took a deep breath, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“So, in conclusion, we’re both a mess,” said the captain.

They both laughed and stared at each other for a moment before Seonghwa got up and got into bed with Hongjoong. He mustered the courage to kiss him slowly and the other man kissed back just as softly, gently grabbing his face with his hand.

The kiss gradually became heated, tongues sliding wetly against each other as their breathing became harsh and their caresses turned more desperate.

They took their clothes off quickly, only breaking the kiss when it was strictly necessary. Feeling weirdly emboldened, he pushed Hongjoong back to make him lay on the bed and straddled his hips, pushing his own naked half-hard cock against his.

He focused on biting his nipple as he tried to find a good rhythm with his hips.

“Wait,” said Hongjoong, pushing him off gently before he looked for something in the drawer of the bedside table.

He didn’t even bother closing it back after he found what he was looking for, smirking and showing the commander a vial with some kind of oil inside. He recognized what it was, some of the women he’d been intimate with had used it.

The pirate grabbed him and maneuvered him back to his previous position, opening the vial and carefully letting some of its content spill over their cocks before closing it again and carelessly throwing it aside.

“Keep going.”

Seonghwa gasped as their cocks slid against each other smoothly, oil increasing the pleasure even more. He closed his eyes and focused on grinding his crotch against Hongjoong’s, whining every time the other man’s dick rubbed against a particularly sensitive spot.

Hongjoong had a tight grip on his hips, helping guide the movements to create delicious friction that had them both filling the room with their moans.

“You look so beautiful right now. It’s almost like you’re riding my cock, I’m losing my mind,” said the captain with a groan

The commander opened his eyes and looked at him, noting his flushed face and hooded eyes, and he couldn’t help but to think back to Minho’s words.

“Can you even satisfy his needs properly? He’s a man with a strong appetite.”

It was obvious that Hongjoong wanted to put his dick inside him, he’s made many references to it in the heat of the moment before. Wooyoung had even mentioned that it was something the captain enjoyed, based on what he’s heard.

Minho would let him. He’d give him what he wants, like many other men before him have. 

Unlike you.

Seonghwa took a deep breath, trying to push the words past the tightness that had suddenly appeared in his throat.

“We…we can do that.”

The pirate used the firm grip he had on his hips to stop him from moving.

“Do what?”

The navy sailor swallowed before saying: “You can put it inside. I’ll…I’ll let you.”

Hongjoong stared at him for a moment before chuckling.

“You don’t want that.”

“I do! I want it,” Seonghwa said, half-lying.

“No, you don’t. You just think you have to prove a stupid point to a man that’s not even here right now.”

The commander felt embarrassed that the other man had completely seen through him, but he wasn’t going to back down.

“I want to make you feel good…”

The captain smiled at him. “Seonghwa, I love everything we do. Sex is so much more than that one specific act. You make me feel so good, I assure you I’m perfectly satisfied with the stuff we do. There are so many things we can do besides that. Never feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to do, no matter what the other person says. ” 

“I just want to do that for you.”

Hongjoong stared at him in silence once again, and the commander pouted and looked down, feeling relief and disappointment at the same time. 

“Do you really want me to fuck you?” asked the captain.

Seonghwa swallowed and nodded, trying to make himself look confident and secure.

“Turn around, get on the bed on all fours.”

The navy sailor felt his heart speed up but did as he was told.

He didn’t know what was going on for a moment, he could hear Hongjoong moving around but he wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. He got startled as he felt the cold oil drip down the crack of his ass, feeling it slide down his balls and his thighs before the captain spread it around, creating a real wet mess between his legs.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for it.

Wooyoung had mentioned that you used your fingers to stretch the area before putting it inside, so he was surprised when he felt the long length of the other man’s cock rub against his hole.

Seonghwa started panicking for a moment, thinking that the pirate was going to put it inside straight away.

He’s too big, he’s going to rip me apart.

“No…” he tried to say.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Hongjoong rubbed his cock between his ass cheeks for a few moments before he pulled away and pushed the commander’s legs together tightly.

He felt confusion creep up under the anxiety.

Before he could ask what was going on, the pirate pushed his dick in the space under his balls, rubbing against the tight space between his thighs.

“What are you doing?” he could finally ask.

“I’m fucking you.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I told you, people can have sex in so many ways. I’ve been fucking you since day one, no matter what we do,” Hongjoong said. “We can move towards that direction if you really want to, but not today. I want to do it like this right now.”

Seonghwa felt himself relax a little even though he still felt somewhat disappointed, but he chose to focus on the new sensations.

It was kind of the same grinding motion they’d had while Seonghwa was on top, but different at the same time. Hongjoong was mostly rubbing against his balls and the base of his cock, so he couldn’t get real friction where he wanted it the most, but it still felt pleasurable.

He could feel his arousal coming back on full force as he heard the captain moan behind him over the slapping sounds their skin made as they clashed against each other. He enjoyed feeling the increasing urgency of the thrusts, the firm grip on his hips, the light sting that was starting to appear in the back of his thighs and his butt cheeks from the repeated impact, the way the space between his legs seemed to get wetter and wetter as the other man chased his orgasm.

Hongjoong made the attempt to grab his cock, but Seonghwa pushed it away.

“I want you to come first.”

The pirate groaned as his hand went back to his hip before they both moved up to grab his waist instead.

“So small,” the captain said with a growl.

Seonghwa felt light headed and his cock was throbbing between his legs, but he wanted to focus on the feelings without the distraction of his own pleasure. He felt so aroused that he couldn’t help the words that came to his mouth next.

“Imagine you’re fucking my ass, Captain. I want you to do it the way you would if you were actually inside me.”

He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes straight away, feeling embarrassed by his sudden outburst.

“Fuck, Seonghwa.”

The grip on his waist got tighter and the speed of the thrusts increased.

The commander knew the other man wasn’t actually inside him right now, but it was easy to imagine he actually was in this position. He wished he could see Hongjoong’s face, but he was still enjoying hearing the other man lose himself in his own pleasure while using his body.

He was enjoying it way more than he thought he would.

“You feel so good. Fuck.”

The captain gave his butt cheek a quick slap, which made Seonghwa yelp out of surprise, before moving away completely. The navy sailor turned his head to see him furiously jerking himself off before he came all over his ass with a groan.

He patiently waited until Hongjoong was done before turning around, sitting on the bed and grabbing his own cock quickly, chasing his own release. The captain was quick to push his hand away and take him in his mouth instead, making him come down his throat.

He petted the pirate’s hair as he tried to catch his breath and the other man looked at him with a lazy smirk. He looked content and satisfied and Seonghwa felt pride spread in his chest.

Take that, Lee Minho.

–

He woke up slowly the next morning, feeling slightly hungover. He was alone in bed when he opened his eyes and the ship was swaying too much to still be anchored, but it was still a bit dark outside so he assumed it was early in the morning.

He closed his eyes again and tried to ignore the disgusting feeling of dried sweat, oil and semen both on his skin and the sheets underneath him. They’d have to find a more effective way to do this if they were going to get oil involved. It was disgusting.

He blushed when he remembered the previous night and smiled when he recalled Hongjoong’s confession. He felt relieved that he hadn’t been the only one obsessively thinking of their first meeting over the years. He rationally knew that it didn’t actually mean that the other man felt anything deeper than sexual attraction right now, but it still made him feel giddy and fluttery.

He abstently caressed his sensitive butt cheek, surprised at how tender it was. He had noticed the sting on his skin as the other man had aggressively slapped over and over again against it, but he hadn’t expected it to last this long. He pressed against it, feeling a current of pleasure travel from the abused area straight to his morning wood.

He was loving the sore feeling for some weird reason.

He lazily stroked his cock, thinking back to the rest of the conversation from the previous night.

Curiously, he moved one finger down to caress his hole.

He felt extremely nervous about it but he was also feeling increasingly more curious. He had liked feeling Hongjoong’s mouth there, especially every time he had pushed his tongue inside. He remembered the itchy feeling buried deep within him, how he’d almost asked the other man to scratch it.

He took a deep breath and pushed the tip of his index finger past the initial resistance. It felt weird but it wasn’t particularly painful nor pleasant.

“I’m loving this new pattern of finding you getting off when I walk into my cabin.”

Seonghwa jumped and opened his eyes when he heard Hongjoong’s voice, finding the man smirking at him from the doorway. He quickly pulled his hands away, grateful that he was still covered and the other man hadn’t seen what he was doing exactly.

The captain laughed and walked towards his table, dropping the stuff he was holding in his arms before carelessly taking the coat off and letting it fall to the floor. The rest of his clothing followed suit soon after.

“Don’t stop on my account.”

The commander didn’t reply, he just stared at him as the other man laid back down on bed next to him.

“It looks early, I thought we’d be leaving late since you had to meet Bang Chan before parting,” he said instead.

“I already met with him.”

“Oh.”

He felt the desperate need to ask if he’d seen Lee Minho, but he managed to contain the words.

“Don’t worry. Minho wasn’t there. He was probably sleeping soundly on his captain’s bed, just like you were.”

Seonghwa felt embarrassed that Hongjoong had easily read his mind once again, but the petty satisfaction he felt was bigger.

“Good.”

The pirate laughed and pushed the furs away. The commander assumed he was simply doing it to get under the covers, but he didn’t.

“Do you need help with that?” he asked, pointing to his hard dick.

The navy swallowed. “Don’t you have things to do?”

Hongjoong smirked and got closer to him, caressing his chest with a finger and watching the goosebumps appear under it.

“Yunho and Yeosang know what to do. I’m all yours.”

“We…we did it last night,” Seonghwa said, feeling breathless already.

“So? We’ve been doing it every single night since we first started and you draw the line there?”

That’s true.

Seonghwa felt like he was becoming a real pervert.

He couldn’t really be bothered, though.

He whined softly and nodded. The other man was quick to spit in his hand and wrap it around the commander’s cock, stroking him slowly before kissing him on the mouth.

Seonghwa laid there, letting himself be kissed and touched however the other man wanted. He was really enjoying the feeling of the other man’s hand, but he couldn’t stop thinking about something else the more aroused he got.

“Can…can you…ehm…”

Hongjoong detached his mouth from his nipple and lifted his head, looking at him while still slowly jerking his cock.

“What do you want, gorgeous? I’ll be happy to touch you however you want.”

The commander took a deep breath and tried to push through the shyness.

“Can you…put your mouth… there?”

The captain smirked once again.

“Where? On your pretty cock?”

Seonghwa knew that the other man knew what he was asking for, he could see it in his smirk.

“No…”

The pirate laughed and dropped his cock. “Do you want me to eat your ass? Is that what you’re asking?”

The navy sailor whined, feeling embarrassed once again.

Hongjoong pushed the pillows away carelessly and laid flat on the bed.

“Ride my face, gorgeous.”

Seonghwa blinked a couple of times, confused.

“What?”

“Do what you did last night, but on my face,” the pirate replied.

The commander stared at him for a moment before moving to stand on his knees.

“What if I suffocate you?”

Hongjoong laughed once again. “What a way to go, but you won’t, don’t worry. Come here and turn around, facing my feet.”

Seonghwa hesitantly did what he was told, feeling the blush spread down his chest as he hovered over the other man’s face, trying to remind himself that the pirate had already seen that part of himself up close before.

The captain was quick to grab his hips and maneuver him around, like he always did. The commander yelped and leaned over to put his hands on the bed, on both sides of the other man’s hips.

Hongjoong was quick to push his tongue against his hole, going at it wetly and roughly, like the first time. The commander moaned loudly and closed his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by the strange feelings once again.

A high whine escaped his lips when the pirate pushed his tongue inside him, going in and out in swallow motions. Hongjoong moaned loudly too and Seonghwa opened his eyes slowly, coming face to face with the other man’s cock. It looked hard and red, and it was leaking precum over the man’s pubic hair. He wanted to take it in his mouth.

He whined again.

The captain was clearly enjoying this even though he hadn’t touched him at all.

He was so used to the other man’s constant dirty talk that he felt like he had to fill the silence.

“It feels so good.”

He felt like he was losing his mind as he felt his hips moving without his direct command, riding the tongue, trying to push it deeper and groaning in frustration when he couldn’t.

“I need you to go deeper, please.”

He could feel the other man snort before he pushed him away slightly, just enough to free his mouth. 

“That’s as far as I can go like this, gorgeous.”

He whined again.

“Get on your hands and knees again,” the pirate said.

Seonghwa was quick to do it, not even caring about what was going to happen next. He just needed more.

He heard the captain moving around for a moment before he moved to stand behind him.

“I’m going to use my fingers, okay? I’ll start slow. It’s going to feel strange, but you shouldn’t feel pain or discomfort, so let me know if you do.”

The commander nodded, feeling a bit nervous but too aroused to care about anything.

He felt an oiled finger brush against his hole, massaging the area before going inside smoothly.

It felt very different to his curious touch from before.

Hongjoong went deeper than Seonghwa himself had gone minutes ago, moving his finger in and out, creating a rhythmic motion that was opening him slowly.

The navy sailor tried to control his breathing as his mind reeled with the strange feeling. He felt too full considering it was one single finger. 

The smooth drag against his walls was pleasant, but it didn’t feel like he was actually scratching the itch, it only seemed to make it worse.

“Deeper, please.”

“Shh.”

“Captain, please.”

Hongjoong ignored him and continued what he was doing, fucking him with finger slowly, never going too deep. He stopped what he was doing to focus on caressing one specific area, and Seonghwa almost felt like he was looking for something.

He couldn’t ask about it because his mind went blank and a scream left his mouth as he felt pleasure explode inside him suddenly. He gripped the sheets under his hands, closing his eyes and whining as Hongjoong continued to brush against that sensitive part inside him.

He could hear himself moan really loudly but he felt completely incapable of doing anything about it.

“See? I don’t need to go deeper, the best spot is right here,” the pirate said.

Seonghwa couldn’t reply, he could only stand there, helplessly taking it as all kinds of weird noises came out of his mouth.

“Look at you, you’re so sensitive everywhere. I should have known you’d love this. You were made for it.”

The navy sailor could feel a constant stream of precum dripping from the tip of his throbbing cock and for a wild moment he wondered if he was actually having a really long orgasm. It kind of felt like it.

A second finger joined the first one and he groaned loudly as he felt his hole stretch around it. It was only one extra finger but he felt five times fuller, which only seemed to intensify the pleasure.

He hadn’t even noticed that he was jerking himself off, his mind seemed somewhat disconnected from his body. He came three pumps later, body spasming as he came harder than he had in his life. Hongjoong kept rubbing against that spot inside him roughly and a choked sob made his way out of his throat as he fell bonessly on the bed.

He laid there for a while, trying to anchor himself back into his body. He turned around lazily, feeling like his limbs weighed a ton suddenly.

“Is that what you wanted when you begged for more?” asked Hongjoong, voice uncharacteristically raspy and low.

The captain seemed more on edge than usual. His hair was a mess and his expression was even more intense than usual, eyes black and shiny. His smirk had a sharper edge to it and Seonghwa felt tempted to say he looked somewhat dangerous. He was breathing hard and his cock was an angry shade of red.

The commander was still feeling tingly because of the intense orgasm he just had, but he still literally threw himself at the other man.

“You look so good,” he said before kissing the pirate aggressively.

Hongjoong returned the kiss with the same intensity, groaning as he bit Seonghwa’s bottom lip roughly.

“Fuck,” the pirate whispered against his lips. “You opened up so well for me. You fell apart so beautifully.”

The kiss was so violent that he tasted blood and he felt the other man grip his hair roughly, pushing his head down until he had his cock right in front of his face.

“Suck it.”

His tone was assertive and he had the same dangerous look in his eyes. Seonghwa moaned just from the intensity of his aura. Hongjoong was always patient, sweet and kind with him, but right now he almost looked like a different man.

The flames of the fire in his belly intensified and he felt the desperate need to submit to him, to do everything he wanted him to do.

He closed his eyes and put the dick inside his mouth, trying to do a good job despite his lack of experience.

“You make me feel like I’m losing my mind,” moaned Hongjoong.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind too,” he whispered back against his cock.

The captain used the grip on his hair to control the movement of his head once again, pushing way deeper than the first time he’d done this and making Seonghwa choke.

He was already feeling dizzy before and he was even more lightheaded from the lack of air now, but he was loving every second of it. His own dick was surprisingly hard again, even though he just had a mindblowing orgasm minutes ago.

He moaned around the cock in his mouth, opening his eyes with some effort and looking into Hongjoong’s intense gaze.

“How are you even real?” said the pirate breathlessly. “It’s like you were made just for me.”

Yes.

He liked that idea. He liked feeling like he had been made just for Hongjoong.

He let the pirate use his mouth until he grew close, movements more erratic and pre-cum gaining a bitter taste. He was hoping he’d come in his mouth, but he didn’t. He pulled away and came on his face once again.

Seonghwa looked at him as the man seemed to go back to his own self, trying to will his erection away as he tried to control his breath, jaw and throat sore because of the rough treatment.

“Sorry,” said Hongjoong softly, looking for the one of the pieces of fabric they kept by the bed now for easy access.

He cleaned them both in silence and then maneuvered the commander to rest on top of his chest while they laid down.

“I’m sorry, I got a bit carried away. Did I hurt you?” the pirate asked.

The navy sailor felt floaty and relaxed. He felt like his brain was working much slower than usual, but he tried to push the words out. 

“No, I’m okay,” he said with a raspy voice. “I…I really enjoyed that. All of it.”

Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he giggled. 

“You are a pervert,” he said jokingly. “I’m sorry anyway, I’ve been trying to control myself and be delicate with you, but I feel like I’m doing a poor job.”

Seonghwa smiled against the other man's chest. “You’re being really delicate with me. You haven’t done anything I don’t like. I’ll tell you if you do.”

“Thank you.”

They stayed silent for a moment, enjoying the moment and the gentle swaying of the waves.

“Oh, I have something for you,” said Hongjoong suddenly, pushing Seonghwa away and getting up to grab something from his table. “I got completely sidetracked by the pretty naked man touching himself on my bed and forgot about it.”

He hid whatever it was behind his back as he walked back to the bed. His confidence seemed to disappear and he looked hesitant and shy, which made the commander feel extremely curious.

“What is it?” he asked, dying to see.

The pirate was blushing by the time he showed what he was hiding.

A peony.

It was an exceptionally beautiful one, big and plump with a bright shade of pink.

Seonghwa gasped and covered his mouth, heart beating fast inside his chest.

“I…I wanted to apologize for my behavior at the tavern and you said you liked flowers, so I went to get it for you this morning. I don’t know the name or the meaning behind it, I just thought it looked pretty. The color…” he hesitated before adding: “It reminded me of the blush on your skin when you’re flustered.”

The commander swallowed to try to push the tightness in his throat away. “I…I love it. I love it so much. Thank you.”

He extended his hand, making grabbing gestures. The pirate laughed and handed him the flower before laying next to him once again.

“Do you know what kind of flower it is?” he asked.

Seonghwa settled back against his chest, holding his gift in the air to avoid crushing it.

“It’s a peony. It’s considered the king of the flowers so it symbolizes royalty, prosperity and wealth. It’s one of the favorite flowers of the Royal Family,” he paused. “It’s used in noble weddings too.”

“Oh.”

Silence spread in the room once again as they both looked at the flower.

“I’m glad you like it. I didn’t mean to make you upset, like I said. I just remembered our conversation about the reason why you walked into my ship in the first place and I wanted to play a little bit with you, see how you’d react.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t expect to behave so erratically. I’ve become an emotional mess, I’m sorry,” replied Seonghwa.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve gone through so much lately, it’s completely normal to be emotional. You’re healing and learning how to be the person you tried to bury inside you.”

They fell silent once again. The commander was feeling overwhelmed and emotional once again.

“Tell me something about you. What was your childhood like? How did you end up in that cell?” he asked, trying to distract himself from the turmoil of emotions.

Hongjoong lifted his hand to carefully touch a petal before taking a deep breath.

“My childhood was quite uneventful, actually. I was really lucky, considering my situation. I never knew the woman who gave birth to me, she died during childbirth, but I was raised by an amazing mother who gave the best life I could have had. The lady who gave birth to me was a prostitute and the woman in charge of the brothel decided to keep me and raise me as her son. Kids weren’t allowed in the brothel, by her own rules, but she had a premonition dream about me the day I was born.”

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“She was a very educated woman so she taught me how to read and write in all the common languages. I grew up surrounded by women from all over the world, so I got the chance to learn a lot from all of them. I had many mothers, in a way,” he said before laughing. “My mom died when I was 14 and I decided it was time to move on and become a man.”

"Sorry," said Seonghwa softly.

“That's okay, she lived a good life. I always wanted to travel the world, like I’ve told you before. All I knew about my father was the fact that he was a pirate, and I felt destined to be one too. I joined a few crews over the first couple of years, jumping from one ship to another, looking for the right place for me. I learned very early on that I completely despised some of the behaviors I had to witness. I understood pillaging was a necessity to fund the lifestyle we had, but I thought destroying cities and raping and selling people as slaves was completely aborrhent. That’s not the kind of pirate I wanted to be.”

Seonghwa swifted his head to look at the other man’s face and found a serious nostalgic look there.

“I had just joined that crew when we were apprehended by the Navy. Luckily, we didn’t have big charges against any of us, so only the captain of the ship was executed. The rest of us got branding, prison or pardons. I was a nobody in the ship and I pretended to be younger than I actually was, so I just got flogged and granted a pardon.”

The pirate laughed as he reminisced.

“I joined another crew straight away, so I clearly didn’t learn the lesson,” he said, laughing. “I met Mingi and Yunho there and we bonded over our young age and our goal of being a different breed of pirates. I was a step closer to my dream of becoming a different kind of captain, of being a leader for other people like us.”

“How did you even become a captain, anyway? It takes a lot of money or weapons to get a ship,” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong laughed loudly once again. “I…won the Aurora in a gamble.”

The navy sailor snorted. “Are you serious?”

“Very serious. What can I say? The spirits love me.”

“...so you didn’t murder someone to get it,” said the navy sailor.

The captain chuckled. “No, I was just joking that day.”

The commander slapped him lightly on the chest and Hongjoong laughed.

“Now you know my very uninteresting story. What’s yours, Park Seonghwa?”

He took a deep breath and groaned. “Your life is fascinating, mine is very boring in comparison.”

He still told the other man about it. He told him about his father, about the first hanging he ever witnessed, about Lee Dongho, about their first meeting and the ones after that. He cried as he told his story, recognizing the trauma and the pain he’s suffered without noticing, but Hongjoong stroked his back and whispered sweet encouragements into his hair as he did.

They stayed in bed for most part of the day, sharing stories about themselves and having sex, simply sending everyone away when they came to check on them.

–

The following week was the most fun Seonghwa has had in his entire life.

He grew closer to the crew, spending his days outside the cabin, eating every meal with them and becoming more and more involved in their daily lives.

He had even been part of a speedy retreat after they had noticed a potential naval ship far behind them. He had giggled the whole time, finding the fact that he, a navy commander, was helping a bunch of pirates run away from a military vessel absurdly hilarious.

Turns out that there was a lot he could teach the pirates. It was kind of a miracle that they had made it this far safely, to be honest. They were a multitalented small crew with blurry positions, everyone was skillful and did a bit of everything, but none of them was a master at their supposed official position.

He took it in his own hands and spent the whole week trying to increase their chances of survival in the long run.

He taught Jongho everything he didn’t know about maintaining the weapons and the cannons, which had gone rusty because of the lack of use.

He sat down with Yeosang and told him everything he had learned in his years as a sailor, things that would make the other man an even better navigator and sailmaster.

He shared tips and useful maintenance tricks with Yunho and San as they fixed things around the ship.

He made a whole list of plants that Mingi could get in the West when they go there, exotic things he’s never seen but had read about. 

He taught Wooyoung, who was still learning how to deal with keeping food fresh during long travels, ways of preserving meals and finding more lasting substitutes for some of the more easily rotten stuff. 

He spent a lot of time with Hongjoong, too. They shared some navigation tips and occasionally talked about useful sailor things, but most of the time they just talked about themselves. The captain had been teaching him how to play his instruments and even how to draw too, but he was quite bad at all of it. Hongjoong insisted he wasn’t, but he knew the other man was just being his usual kind self.

They also had a lot sex.

So much sex.

It had become a daily thing. Seonghwa would get into the other man’s bed every single night and they would make each other cum with their hands and mouths, sometimes more than once. On a couple of occasions, the commander had gotten so aroused watching him expertly lead the ship that he had to drag him to his cabin and fall to his knees as the pirate leaned against the door and pushed his hands in his hair, coming on the floor by his own hand on broad daylight as he desperately choked on the other man’s cock.

The urgency only seemed to grow each time they were intimate and he felt like they were slowly becoming addicted to one another. He knew he had become a pervert who was completely led by his lust, but he didn’t even care anymore.

He was slowly getting better at sex too and now he knew exactly what to do to make Hongjoong drop the kind and gentle facade and become the mean lover he clearly was, telling him embarrassing things, ordering him around and touching him roughly without much hesitation.

Seonghwa will probably never be intimate with another man, but he’s determined to get enough fuel now to keep him going for the rest of his life.

They’d reach Macau in two days and that knowledge had been looming in the back of his mind the whole time. He didn’t want to think about it, though, he just wanted to make the most of it before he left this ship and its crew behind to go back to the real world.

–

“Do you really have to leave?”

Seonghwa opened his eyes and put his hand over his eyes to look at Wooyoung without getting blinded by the sun. He took a deep breath and got up, softly pushing Nero off his chest to sit down.

They had just finished lunch and they were both lazing around on the deck before it was time to go back to their duties.

“I do…” said the commander. “I left responsibilities behind. I left people behind. My mother and sisters are probably worried sick. I could potentially put the Aurora at risk too. I’m a well-known figure in the Navy, they’re definitely looking for me and everybody knows about my small fixation with you. They’d probably decide to track you down at some point and I can’t let that happen.”

They both stayed silent for a moment before he added: “I…I’ve grown very attached to all of you, but I don’t know if I can just drop everything to become a pirate. I’ve let my emotions control me since I got here, but I can’t let them guide my decision when it comes to this.”

Seonghwa could see the cook’s eyes getting wet and shiny. 

“I understand, but I’m going to miss you so much.”

The commander swallowed to prevent the tears from coming up as well. “Me too.”

“We’re all going to miss you,” Wooyoung whispered. “Especially Captain Hongjoong.”

The navy sailor could feel his lower lip trembling and he closed his eyes firmly. 

He really didn’t want to think about leaving that particular pirate behind. He wasn’t ready yet.

“I’m going to miss you all too.”

“Would you stay if he asked you to?” asked the cook tentatively.

Seonghwa thought about it for a second before he replied: “He won’t. I’m not completely sure I’d be able to say no if he actually asked, and he probably knows that, because he always knows exactly what I’m thinking. That’s…that’s precisely why I know he won’t ask, even if he actually wants to.”

“But…you two are meant to be, everyone can see it,” said the other man with a pout on his mouth.

“Please, Wooyoung.”

He’d been trying to pull himself together for days now. He needed to be strong if he wanted to do what he had to do.

The cook didn’t say anything else and they both stayed in awkward silence until Yunho came to fetch Seonghwa, asking for his help.

He got so distracted during the rest of the day, continuing his quest of improving life in this ship, that he almost forgot about the conversation he and Wooyoung had.

Almost, but not quite.

He was still thinking about it as he laid on the captain’s bed, reading and waiting for the other man to finish what he was doing. They had finished dinner with the rest of the boys earlier and the man was now making some kind of inventory on his working desk.

Seonghwa felt the emotions bottling up in his chest as he stared at the pirate’s back as he worked, so he spoke up in an attempt to distract himself.

“Would you make a drawing of me before I leave?”

Hongjoong looked at him with a smile. “Do you want me to?”

“Mhm, maybe. Just so you can keep it as a reminder of the navy commander you managed to get in your bed, to remember my face in case we run into each other again.”

The captain chuckled and turned around in his chair to face him better. “You’re way more than the ‘navy commander I managed to get in my bed’. I…I wouldn’t need a drawing to remember your face, it’s been engraved in my brain since the day I met you.”

Seonghwa released a shaky breath.

Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.

Hongjoong laughed softly once again and thought about something for a moment before opening a drawer, grabbing a bunch of papers. He looked at them nervously and got up, walking to his bed and sitting down next to the navy sailor.

“Make your pick.”

The commander grabbed the papers with trembling hands and stared at them.

It was a drawing of him.

They were all drawings of him.

Some of them looked old and worn out, the style crude and clearly unpolished.

He was definitely crying now. He could feel the tears falling down and he didn’t even make an attempt to hide it.

“I’m going to miss you too,” said Hongjoong softly.

“Would you want me to stay?” he asked in a whisper.

“I think you know the answer to that,” the captain replied before swallowing visibly. “What we want is irrelevant here anyway, we both have responsibilities. We…we have created a fake reality that can’t last forever. This is exactly what I was afraid of when I initially refused to take your first time, I knew sex was going to make a complicated situation even more complicated. I know we made things harder, but I don’t regret anything, and I hope you don’t either.”

“I don’t regret anything,” confirmed Seonghwa, sobbing. “Please, don’t forget about me.”

Tears started to fall down the other man’s face too. “How could I forget about you.”

Hongjoong kissed him softly and he could taste their mixed tears. They kissed softly until they both stopped crying and the captain hugged him tightly, holding him for a really long time.

“I want to feel you inside me.”

He had been thinking a lot about taking that step. He had grown so addicted to the feeling of the pirate filling him up, rubbing that delicious spot inside him with his fingers, that it was something they did every single time they had sex now. He’d always end up begging for the other man’s fingers and he was starting to feel like that wasn’t enough anymore, like the itch was moving farther and farther away. 

He needed more.  

Hongjoong didn’t even ask for confirmation, he just kissed him again, this time way less sweetly. They hastily got rid of their clothes and the captain pushed him to make him lay on his back on the bed.

“I’m going to stretch you now, it’s going to feel a bit different than usual. It’s going to hurt a little bit at first, but let me know if you feel actual pain.”

Seonghwa nodded. He was willing to take a little pain if it meant he got to feel the other man inside him.

Hongjoong pushed an oiled finger inside, slowly opening him up before adding another one. He grabbed the commander’s cock with his other hand, stroking him slowly as he stretched him efficiently.

The pirate was right, it did feel different.

The captain was clearly focused on opening him up properly instead of giving him pleasure this time. He felt a slight sting in his hole as it stretched wider than it had before, but it was easy to distract himself as the other man touched his dick.

Hongjoong took his fingers out before pushing three together, making Seonghwa hiss the moment he felt his insides open up to accommodate the new girth.

“Shhh, you’re doing great. We can stop at any time.”

Seonghwa nodded and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the pleasure coming from his cock and the weirdly satisfying feeling of fullness instead of the slight discomfort he felt.

The pirate kept going for what felt like a long time and he was starting to get desperate. He could feel himself growing closer to the edge and he really needed more , he needed it deeper .

“I need it now, please.”

Hongjoong ignored him and scissored his fingers a few more times before he seemed satisfied with the result. He took his fingers out and poured more oil in his hand before grabbing his own erection, pumping it a few times with a satisfied sigh before laying on the bed.

“Get on top of me.”

Seonghwa frowned. “But I don’t know what to do.”

“I know, I’ll help you out. I want you to control the pace at first, I can take over whenever you’re ready.”

The navy sailor stared at him for a moment, feeling insecure, but did what he was told.

He positioned himself on top of the pirate, hovering over his hard dick. Hongjoong grabbed his own cock with one of his hands and used the other to grab Seonghwa’s hip, guiding him.

“Just sit down on it slowly, stop whenever you feel like you have to.”

The commander nodded and blindly moved Hongjoong’s hand until he felt the tip against his hole. He took a deep breath and sank down before he could talk himself out of it.

It was a lot.

He gasped loudly as he felt himself get stretched beyond what he thought was possible. It hurt a bit but not as much as he thought it would, he simply felt incredibly full.

He was sweating and breathing hard by the time he sat on the pirate’s hips, thighs shaking from the effort and feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the strange sensations. He took another deep breath as he focused on keeping his body relaxed, slowly getting used to the feeling.

He opened his eyes and looked at Hongjoong, who looked completely wrecked and just as sweaty as him. The other man swallowed the moment they made eye contact. 

“Does it hurt?” he asked with a shaky tone.

Seonghwa smiled and shook his head before he moved his hips in a rotating motion, testing things out.

They both groaned at the movement and Hongjoong gripped his hips tightly, clearly trying to keep himself in check.

The navy sailor smirked, feeling powerful and in control of the other man’s pleasure, for a change.

He repeated the movement, feeling a spark of pleasure travel through his body, before he lifted himself up a bit and fell back down soon after. He started riding the man in slow shallow motions, but soon enough the pleasure pushed him to go faster and deeper.

He whined as his thighs started to give out. “Please, I can’t keep going.”

Hongjoong pushed him off gently, both of them wincing as his cock slipped out, and made him lay on the bed on his back before opening his legs and situating himself between them.

He poured more oil on his cock before putting it back inside slowly, making Seonghwa gasp.

“You’re so big, Captain. I feel so full.”

The pirate groaned before moving down to kiss him and the commander moaned loudly as the movement pushed the cock deeper into him.

“Please,” he begged against the other man’s lips.

Hongjoong’s rhythm was much better than the one he had going and he quickly found that he very much preferred this position. 

“Harder.”

The captain complied and Seonghwa moaned, closing his eyes and grabbing the pillow under his head as he tried to ground himself against the thrusts.

“You feel so fucking good,” said Hongjoong.

The navy sailor lost himself in pleasure for a moment, feeling numb and like his brain was incapable of thinking any rational thoughts. He wanted to reply to the man and tell him that he felt really fucking good too, but he was unable to articulate anything other than moans and whines.

He could feel the pressure build up inside and he hastily grabbed his own cock, pumping in time with the thrusts and feeling the impending orgasm rush quickly.

“Faster, Captain,” he managed to say breathlessly.

Hongjoong switched his position and grabbed his thighs instead of his hips, pushing them back against his chest and basically folding Seonghwa in half before going at it faster and harder.

“Ah!”

“Fuck, you’re so tight.”

He could feel his orgasm approaching fast and Hongjoong seemed to be close too, thrusts becoming more desperate and erratic and his moans getting louder as he fucked him hard.

Just when he felt like he was seconds away from coming, the pirate pushed deeply one more time and groaned loudly, fucking into him a few more times as he came inside him.

Seonghwa moaned too and stroked his cock harder, coming all over his own abdomen moments later.

They stayed in the same position for a moment, trying to catch their breaths.

The commander giggled as he felt the other man take his cock out slowly. “I feel so wet.”

Hongjoong groaned. “You are.”

The pirate grabbed the cloth and tried to clean him, but they both knew only water and soap could fix this mess.

Seonghwa patted the space next to him on the bed and the other man laid down there.

“How was it?” he asked.

The navy sailor smiled lazily and cuddled against him with a hum, feeling sleepy and sated, and the captain chuckled before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer to him.

Seonghwa didn’t understand why he had been so afraid of doing this, but he was happy he had decided to take that step before it was too late.

He wanted Hongjoong to have all his firsts.

–

“What’s this? It looks really weird.”

Seonghwa turned around to look at Hongjoong. 

“That’s a lotus flower, it grows in freshwater,” he explained.

The captain frowned. “Do you like them?”

The commander laughed softly. “I do like them, I think they’re very pretty.”

The pirate shrugged and grabbed two before turning to the seller. 

“I’ll take these two, please,” he said in Chinese.

“Hongjoong! You don’t have to buy me every single flower in this stall!”

The captain shushed him and paid for the flowers before delicately placing them inside his satchel before walking away in the direction of the Aurora, making the navy sailor sigh and go after him.

They had been in Macau for three days now, waiting for Bang Chan and his crew to arrive so they could meet whoever they’re going to meet. Seonghwa knows he doesn't need to stay, that he should be arranging his journey back home, but he can’t say goodbye just yet.

He had been in Macau many times before but he’d never seen the parts of the city controlled by the Portuguese, choosing to safely stay close to his Chinese military allies instead. The boys had spent the last two days showing him around and he was enjoying himself quite a lot, everything seemed new and foreign even though they were barely streets away from the places he’s visited many times before.

They had to walk past this flower stall in order to get to the ship and Seonghwa was unable to get close to it without looking at the flowers in awe, which obviously meant that Hongjoong would end up buying him at least a flower every single time they stopped here. The commander loved seeing the cabin filled by the colors and the aroma of all the flowers the man had given him, but it made him sad at the same time because he knew he wouldn’t be able to take them with him when he left.

He had delicately pressed the peony inside a book, waiting for it to dry it out so he could take it with him and keep it for the rest of his life, but he realistically knew he wouldn’t be able to do that with the rest of the flowers.

Everyone else had gone back to the ship after lunch, but Hongjoong and him had been wandering around for a while, just the two of them. They greeted Jongho, who was keeping guard in the crow’s nest, as they walked into the ship.

“Captain Bang came looking for you just now, Captain,” the gunner said.

Seonghwa felt his stomach drop at the news.

“Just now?” Hongjoong said before turning to the commander and giving him his bags. “Go ahead and get comfortable. I’ll be back soon.”

The commander nodded and watched him leave in silence, staying there staring into the empty space for a moment before Jongho spoked up.

“He’s going to miss you too.”

Seonghwa laughed and looked up at him. “What about you? Are you going to miss me?”

The younger man laughed too. “Just a little bit. I’ve never had a mother before, so it’s been nice to have you around.”

The navy sailor snorted and rolled his eyes.

The whole crew had started to jokingly call him ‘mom’ due to his nagging nature and because Hongjoong is apparently their ‘dad’.

He walked into the cabin and changed into more comfortable clothing before tidying up the room. He carefully took the lotus flowers from the satchel and put them next to the chrysanthemum the captain had bought him the day before, humming softly as he touched the petals of all the flowers he had in front of him, leaning down to smell their unique aroma.

“How can I not buy you all the flowers in the stall when you look this happy every time you see them?” asked the pirate, hugging him from behind and pressing his face against the back of his neck.

Seonghwa jumped slightly at the touch and giggled. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

“We’re meeting this person later,” Hongjoong said abstently, pushing the collar of the shirt aside so he could kiss the newly uncovered skin there and sneaking his other hand under the fabric, brushing against a nipple softly. “I love seeing you in my clothes.”

“Don’t do that,” he said firmly but didn’t try to stop his wandering lips and hands. “Why are you so secretive about this person? Are you afraid that I will use the information against you?”

The captain didn’t reply straight away, he just kept doing what he was doing.

“It’s not that,” the pirate replied, finally moving away. “I’m just used to keeping certain things a secret, I guess.”

“...I haven’t kept any secrets from you,” he said pouting while looking out the window.

Hongjoong grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the bed, pushing him down to lay there. Seonghwa rolled his eyes but complied. 

The captain got on the bed too, sitting with his back against the wall. The navy sailor took the opportunity to lay his head on the other man’s lap, feeling sleepy and deciding that he was going to take a nap there.

“We’re meeting the Pirate Queen of Macau.”

Seonghwa frowned. “Lai Choi San?”

The pirate nodded and softly stroked his hair.

“Why are you meeting someone like her?”

“We…” he paused for a moment, looking for the right words. “We have a similar mission. Just like Captain Bang and his crew. Not many pirates out there do what we do, so I try to keep the ones who do very close to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

Hongjoong smiled down at him and took a deep breath.

“You’ve seen the devastation pirates leave behind in coastal towns, they steal and destroy everything they see in front of them without any regard. The people who survive and manage not to be captured usually have to leave everything behind and move inland to stay safe, even if that means the best agricultural land has to be abandoned. I know your people are trying to do the best job to protect regular Korean citizens, but not much is done for them after the pirates are gone. They are simply left with nothing.”

Seonghwa pressed his lips together. He’d never really stopped to consider what happened to the people left behind in the destroyed places, he just assumed other people would take care of them. His job was to stop pirates from ever getting there in the first place and to stop them from getting away with the stolen goods and kidnapped people after.

“The ones left behind struggle to provide enough food and basic necessities for everybody after being robbed and pushed away from their homes and their lands. We sell anything of value to sustain ourselves, but we give away all the bulk goods like cloth, grain and rice to the people who need it. The cargo we take is usually just tributes shipped to the King anyway, it’s not like he needs it more than his own subjects.”

Seonghwa mulled over the words, trying to understand what the other man was trying to say.

“So, you steal from rich people to give it to the poor?”

Hongjoong laughed softly. “I guess that’s one way to put it.”

The commander thought about it silently, trying to figure out if that was a good thing or not. Piracy and stealing were crimes, no matter the reason behind it. He thought back at his family’s riches, the lavish lifestyle of his fellow navy officers and other noblemen, and then he thought of the people left behind by the pirates. People who had lost everything at the hands of monsters, people who were grieving the loss of their loved ones as they struggled to feed the ones who had been lucky enough to survive the attack safely.

“I think…you’re doing a very bad thing for a very good reason.”

The captain seemed to relax under him and he laughed again. “Are you supporting piracy, Commander Park?”

Seonghwa looked up at him and smiled. “Only this time.”

“Can you keep our secret? I don’t want anyone to interfere with what I do, Navy or pirate.”

The commander nodded. “It’ll be our secret. You don’t have to worry about us, anyway. I’m the only person who always seemed to care about the Aurora. The Navy thinks you’re very irrelevant in comparison to other pirates.”

“I don’t know if I should feel insulted or not,” Hongjoong said, jokingly.

“In this case, it’s a good thing.”

“Well, now you know everything. You can stop pouting about me keeping secrets from you.”

Seonghwa slapped his thigh. “I wasn’t pouting…”

They stayed silent for a moment before Hongjoong spoke up once again: “We…we have to leave tomorrow. We don’t want to keep the people who need our cargo waiting.”

The commander swallowed but nodded again.

So this is our last night together.

He had been hoping they’d have more time, but he’s been slowly preparing himself for this moment.

Before he could say anything else, a knock on the door interrupted him.

“Captain.”

It was Bang Chan.

“I have to go now, but I will meet you at the tavern tonight,” said Hongjoong, slowly pushing him away in order to get up.

Seonghwa just nodded and stared at him as he put his coat on. The pirate smiled softly and came back to the bed to silently give him a kiss before leaving.

He stayed there for a while, laying on the bed and trying to pull himself together. 

He was going to be brave and go through this without shedding a single tear. He’s done enough crying lately, he was tired of it.

Hongjoong had been right. The last two months have been the best of his life, but they were a fake reality that couldn’t last forever. He felt sad about leaving, but he also treasured the memories he’s made in this ship. He knew he’d keep this crew very close to his heart forever.

He didn’t know the name of the powerful warm feelings he had for Hongjoong, but he desperately clung to them in order to keep moving forward. He knew they’d be a source of strength that would help him do what’s best for everybody. The captain had been clearly keeping himself together for his sake, so Seonghwa was going to do the same for him.

He’d been brave and strong for much lesser people than Kim Hongjoong in his life. He was going to pull through without falling apart for him, because nobody deserved it more than the captain.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He could feel this was hard for both of them, he didn’t want to make things even harder.

He opened his eyes again and got up to pack his bags. He lifted Bo Juyi’s poetry book and opened it, checking the state of the peony inside, before closing it back and carefully putting it inside the satchel, next to the wood-carved cat figure and the drawing of him that Hongjoong had gifted him. They were his most precious possessions right now, everything else was irrelevant.

He was proud to see that he had made it through the whole process without crying.

I can do this.

He lifted the corset in his hands and looked at it, remembering the heated look in the pirate’s eyes after he had bought it for him.

“I want to fuck you with only the corset on.”

Seonghwa smirked as he put the piece of fabric aside, grabbing everything he needed before going outside to wash. After he was done, he put the clothes he had before back on and went to look for Wooyoung, finding him in the kitchen with San and Yeosang.

“Hey, can you help me with something?”

–

He sat down at the table next to the rest of the crew, ordering some drinks but no food yet. He tried to make his posture look natural and comfortable, but it was hard and he probably wasn’t doing a good job, based on the confused look some of the boys were giving him. He hadn’t worn the corset since the very first time and he had forgotten how uncomfortable it could be.

He had put it under his clothes this time. It had been a real struggle because Wooyoung had never seen one of those and there had been a lot of trial and error involved (and probably some bruising) before they managed to find the right way to do it without seriously cutting his breathing.

“His dick must be a real wonder if you’re willing to go through this for it,” Wooyoung had said before laughing loudly while he had been trying not to pass out.

He hadn’t replied at the time, but the answer to that was:

Yes. It was that good.

He didn’t have anything to compare it to, but he had trouble believing it could get any better than this.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain,” asked Yeosang.

“I think someone had too much fun last night,” said Yunho with a smirk, making everybody laugh.

Seonghwa cursed him out.

“Oh, look,” said San suddenly.

They all turned around and looked in the direction he was pointing at, finding a group of men sitting down at a table closeby. The commander didn't recognize them and he was about to ask who they were when he saw him .

Lee Minho.

The other man waved at him with a smirk when he noticed him looking and Seonghwa found he was unable to stop himself from glaring at the pirate.

He knew his hatred for him was petty and unnecessary but he couldn’t help himself. He really hated him.

The man seemed to see his intense staring as an invitation because he never sat down at the table with his crewmates, he walked towards Seonghwa with confident steps instead.

“Well, hello. Good to see everybody!” Minho said cheerfully the moment he reached the table. “Including you, what a surprise. I thought you were just hitching a ride.”

“I am, I’ll be leaving soon,” Seonghwa replied, trying very hard to keep things civil.

“Oh, you’re leaving? Good, that means our favorite seat will be free again soon enough.”

“He’s baiting you, don’t fall for it,” whispered Yeosang.

Seonghwa knew perfectly well what the other man was doing, of course he wasn’t going to fall for it.

“Why are you trying to steal someone else’s man when you have your own?” he asked, unable to stop the words coming out of his mouth.

He could hear Yeosang sigh as well as a giggle and a couple of groans from his companions.

“So he’s your man now? Didn’t we talk about this? He doesn't belong to anybody,” said Minho, apparently happy that the commander had completely fallen for his bait.

“He’s my man right now.”

“Well, I was here before you and I’ll be here after you. He was mine before he even knew you existed, pretty boy. You’re just a passing fancy.”

Seonghwa snorted and he could feel the smirk appear on his face.

“No, you weren’t. He was mine before he knew you existed, actually. I laid my claim on him way before you,” he explained in a condescending tone. “You think you’re special, but you’re not. Didn’t you say so yourself? ‘You get your turn and then move on.’ You might get another ride down the line, that’s true, but you will never be me.”

Minho frowned, trying to understand what the navy sailor was trying to imply. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Me and the captain go way back, but that’s none of your business.”

“Where did that confidence come from?” whispered Yeosang.

“Having a cock up your ass will do that to a man,” replied Wooyoung.

Minho snorted, but he didn’t have the opportunity to say anything else before Bang Chan appeared behind him and grabbed him by the back of his neck.

“What did I tell you? You weren’t supposed to talk with this man ever again.”

Hongjoong stood next to the pair and chuckled before looking at Seonghwa. “Are you being a brat?”

“No. I’m your good boy, remember?” he said with a smile.

The captain lifted an eyebrow in surprise and his smirk grew. “Yes, you are.”

Hongjoong turned to grab Bang Chan’s shoulder lightly before sitting down on an empty seat. 

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, as always. Thank you for inviting me to be part of this conversation, we’re going to do great things together.”

The other captain smiled and returned the shoulder grab. “We already do.”

Seonghwa waited until Bang Chan and Minho went back to their own table before getting up and walking over to the Hongjoong, sitting comfortably on his lap and wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

The captain laughed but didn’t say anything at first, he just put his hand on his waist. The smile disappeared from his face as he touched around the area, clearly feeling the corset underneath the shirt. 

“What do we have here?” he whispered in his ear.

“A surprise for you,” replied Seonghwa in another whisper. “You told me something the day you brought it for me, do you remember what it was?”

Hongjoong groaned and kissed him roughly right there, in front of everybody. “You’re going to be the end of me.”

Seonghwa smiled and leaned against the other man’s chest, feeling powerful. He had a quick flashback of the first man he’d seen sitting on the pirate’s lap, months ago, and the way he had looked so smug and proud of himself.

He completely got it now. 

He was the chosen one, he was the one sitting on Kim Hongjoong’s lap.

The commander smirked and looked around with his head high, waving at Lee Minho when he noticed him staring.

He might be leaving tomorrow, but this man was his for the night.

Seonghwa grew more desperate as the night went on. He never went back to his own seat, eating dinner and drinking while sitting on the other man’s lap instead. He couldn’t help but kiss the captain’s jaw every now and then, which usually led to a quick makeout session that would distract the pirate from the conversation he was having. The navy sailor felt a constant stream of arousal pulsing inside him the whole time and he could feel he wasn’t the only one.

He couldn’t wait to go back to the Aurora.

They stumbled into the captain’s cabin attached to the mouth, barely acknowledging the rest of the crew when they said goodnight with a laugh.

They got naked fast and soon enough the only piece of clothing on their bodies was the corset tightly wrapped around the navy sailor’s waist. Seonghwa opened his legs wide the moment he had his back against the bed. 

He’s spent hours feeling needy, he wanted the pirate to just get to it fast.

Hongjoong laughed and straddled his hips.

“You look so good, I’m obsessed with your tiny waist,” he said, caressing the corset with a dark look on his face. “I was actually hoping we could try something different tonight.”

The commander frowned and tilted his head to the side.

“How do you feel about me tying you up?”

Seonghwa lifted himself to lay on his elbows. “Why? Do you not trust me?”

The pirate laughed once again and shook his head. “No, it has nothing to do with that. I just like tying pretty boys up sometimes, and I think it’d only make what I have planned for you feel even better.”

The navy sailor looked at him for a moment, considering it, before nodding slowly.

Hongjoong smiled widely, quickly getting up to look for the rope.

Seonghwa laughed a bit at his evident excitement.

He understood why the other man was so talented with the rope now.

“Turn around, get on your knees and put your hands behind your back.”

The commander did what he was told, pressing his face against the bed and gasping as the corset pressed against his chest even more.

“Can you breathe properly?”

The navy sailor nodded before he remembered that the man couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, Wooyoung didn’t pull the it too tightly.”

He felt the other man grab his hands and tie them together behind his back.

“Do your shoulders hurt? Do you feel any discomfort at all?”

Seonghwa tested the position for a moment. “No.”

He heard Hongjoong hum in satisfaction before he looked for something in the drawer, probably the oil.

“I’m going to fuck you with my fingers first.”

The commander felt excited spread in his chest. “Okay.”

He felt two oiled fingers push inside soon after and he gasped at the sudden intrusion. He was already panting and they were barely getting started.

The pirate fucked him slowly with his fingers before he switched the focus on that sensitive spot inside him. 

Seonghwa moaned loudly and Hongjoong responded by rubbing that spot with his fingers mercilessly over and over again, not giving him any time to recover between strokes.

He whined, hips moving back against the fingers to try to get more friction, just to move away to try to get away from the abuse a moment later. Hongjoong shushed him and grabbed his hip with his other hand, keeping him in the place he wanted him to be.

Seonghwa whined again, feeling lightheaded and incredibly aroused. He was completely at the other man’s mercy, tied up and unaware of what was going on behind him, and he was loving the feeling.

“Captain.”

“What is it, gorgeous?”

“I need you to touch me, please,” he begged.

“I’m touching you right now.”

“My cock, please.”

Hongjoong chuckled and moved the hand that was on his hip to the front to grab his dick, jerking him off the moment he made contact.

“I can’t say no to you.”

Seonghwa moaned and closed his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by the intense combined pleasure.

The pirate kept abusing his spot roughly while pumping his cock and he felt his orgasm approaching fast.

“I’m coming soon, put it inside,” he said with a moan.

“That’s okay, come as many times as you want. I’ll decide when I put my cock inside you.”

Seonghwa whined at the assertive tone in the other man’s voice and he felt himself coming a few strokes later. The pirate didn’t stop touching him, dragging his orgasm until it became painful and the navy sailor moaned pitifully.

Hongjoong moved his hands to his waist, wrapping his fingers around it over the corset.

“You did so well, gorgeous. You look so beautiful, you sound so pretty. Does anything hurt?”

The commander tried to absorb the words into his sleepy brain. “No.”

“That’s good.”

The pirate massaged his back softly, going all the way from his hips to his shoulders, before his hands disappeared from his skin.

Before he could ask what was going on, he felt two fingers push back inside him and he yelped.

Hongjoong went straight to that spot inside him once again, rubbing with the same pressure as before. Seonghwa moaned loudly and he felt his body tremble at the overstimulation.

It felt even more intense than before, he felt like he was tiptoeing the line that separated the pleasure from the pain.

He didn’t say anything, he just laid there and took it, face pressed against the bed and limbs shaking.

Soon enough, Hongjoong was grabbing his hard cock once again and he felt his second orgasm looming in the distance.

“I…AH…I…”

He didn’t even know what he was trying to say, his overwhelmed brain seemed unable to form cohesive sentences.

“You’re doing so well. Are you going to come for me again, gorgeous? Can you do that?”

Seonghwa sobbed, hips riding the fingers inside him as his hands tried to grab onto something but only finding air in his bondage.

His orgasm took him completely by surprise, it went from seeming unreachable to crash against him forcefully. He felt his body spasm as he cried, pain and pleasure mixing inside him.

He came back slowly, desperately gasping for air as he felt his limbs spasm sporadically. Hongjoong was massaging his sore limbs once again, whispering sweet nothings he could barely understand with his numb brain.

“You did so well, you’re such a good boy. Are you feeling any pain?”

The navy sailor blinked, trying to find the strength he needed to answer.

“Seonghwa?”

He managed to make a negative sound.

Hongjoong laughed. “Do you think you can take a bit more?”

The commander felt anxiety bubble up inside him as he thought about it. He didn’t know if his body would be able to take more without completely coming apart at the seams, he was barely holding up right now.

This is your last time, though.

He swallowed and took a deep breath, ribcage pushing against the constrictive corset.

“I can take more.”

Hongjoong stayed silent for a moment.

“You really were made for me,” he said, sounding completely in awe.

Seonghwa smiled against the bed and he felt like he had made the right decision.

“I’m going to put my cock inside you now. Are you okay with that?”

The navy sailor took another deep breath. “Yes.”

“It’s going to be very sensitive so let me know if it’s too much. I don’t think I’m going to last long, to be honest. I’m at my limit.”

He moaned loudly as he felt Hongjoong push his dick inside him, feeling every inch going in with outstanding clarity. He felt raw and oversensitive, but he needed the other man to come inside him. 

He was going to take everything the captain was willing to give him.

The pirate started to fuck him with slow and shallow thrusts, but he quickly became a moaning mess behind him, hips snapping against his ass violently as he chased his own orgasm single-mindly.

Not only did he seem to lose control over his body, he seemed to have lost control over his mouth as well.

“I’m going to ruin you for other men. You’ll never be able to forget about me. Nobody will ever fuck you like this, you’ll think of me every time you’re with someone else.”

Seonghwa moaned helplessly, tears and saliva pooling in the fabric he was pressed again. He felt like his mind was completely disconnected from his body, Hongjoong was aggressively brushing against the most sensitive parts inside him and he could feel his soft cock twitching bravely, trying to get hard once again.

He didn’t think he could come again, but at the same time it felt like he was coming right now.

The pleasure was so good that it hurt, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

Hongjoong was right. He’s ruined him for other men, nobody will ever be able to come close.

“Fuck.”

The pirate fucked into him once more before he came, groaning and thrusting a few more time before he slowly came to a stop. 

Seonghwa laid there, feeling his sore body shake from the overstimulation as he waited for the other man to recover.

“I’m going to untie you now.”

He didn’t reply as he felt Hongjoong untie his hands before undoing his corset too, pulling it off and massaging his shoulders before moving down, slowly releasing the tension from the muscles of his back and arms as Seonghwa laid bonelessly on the bed, half-asleep.

“You’re such a good boy.”

Seonghwa was feeling so physically and emotionally overwhelmed that he felt like he could cry again, just from the small compliment.

He was dozing off when Hongjoong came back with a wet cloth, and he fell asleep before the other man was even done cleaning him up.

–

Seonghwa woke up with an intense feeling of dread. He had intended to stay awake as long as possible to enjoy the last few hours with Hongjoong, but he had fallen asleep without even noticing.

He took a deep breath and scooted closer to the other man, seeking his warmth.

He felt all the confidence he had gathered slip away through the cracks of the flimsy armor he had built.

He didn’t want to leave. 

He didn’t want to leave the boys behind. He didn’t want to leave Hongjoong behind.

His vision became blurry as his eyes became watery and he could feel his breathing quickly get out of control.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay.”

Seonghwa choked on a sob and hid his face against the other man’s chest, crying into his naked skin as Hongjoong stroked his hair.

“We have to do this.”

The captain sounded as choked up as he felt and he lifted his head to find the other man crying too.

Ask me to stay.

He sat down on the bed and rubbed his forearm against his face in an attempt to dry the tears, staring into the pirate’s eyes, trying to communicate what he couldn’t say out loud.

Please, ask me to stay.

Hongjoong smiled sadly and sat next to him, lifting his hand to softly caress Seonghwa’s cheek.

“We both know you don’t actually want me to do that.”

Seonghwa hated that the captain always knew exactly what he was thinking.

He hated that the other man was right, too.

He moved closer, hugging Hongjoong tightly and pressing his face in the space between his shoulder and neck, breathing his scent in with his eyes closed.

They stayed like that for a long time and he could feel himself relax, anxiety slowly going away.

“I want you to be happy, Seonghwa. You’ve come so far but you still have so much healing left to do. I believe you’re seeing me as the embodiment of your desires and your emotions once again, just like you did before. I’m not the actual reason why you’re feeling so happy and complete right now, I just gave you the space and the support you needed to grow and embrace your own self. I’m not saying you don’t have actual feelings for me, I just think you’re mixing those with the relief and the euphoria of the self-acceptance journey you’ve gone through on this ship. We have so much history together, I think we both need to take a step back to avoid getting lost in this bizarre situation."

The navy sailor opened his eyes and moved back, looking into the other man’s face.

“I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize that you made the wrong choice. Part of me wants to be selfish and ask you to stay, but I’d never be able to live with myself if I took advantage of your vulnerable state just to keep you next to me. Go back to the real world to live your life the way you were always supposed to. Stand in front of the people who have pushed you down all your life and show them that you can be your true self while still being the best navy commander there is out there. Get your own garden and grow your plants and flowers. Meet good men and fall in love with them. Laugh and cry openly. You deserve happiness, Park Seonghwa, never let anyone convince you otherwise.”

Seonghwa felt tears come down his face once again.

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, Hongjoong,” he said softly.

The pirate chuckled wetly. “That’s because you haven’t had the pleasure of properly meeting yourself yet.”

The commander smiled and the captain grabbed his face, bringing him closer to give him a soft kiss before whispering against his mouth.

“I’m going to make you a proposal. I don’t want to pressure you in any way, but I want to put it out there in case you ever wish to take it.”

Seonghwa nodded and stared into the other man’s eyes.

“Exactly one year from now, I will be back in Macau. I’ll be in this very city, having dinner in the very same tavern we visited last night. I’m not saying that I will be waiting for you, but I’d be more than happy to have the chance to sit down with you once again if you happen to be in the area. It doesn’t even have to be like this if you have someone special in your life by then, we can meet as friends.”

The commander felt his heart speed up.

“I will be there,” he promised.

“You don’t have to make that decision yet, just move on with your life and see how you feel about it in a year.”

“I will be there,” Seonghwa said once again, more firmly this time.

Hongjoong chuckled and grabbed his hand, giving it a kiss before looking into his eyes. They stared at each other in silence for a long time after that, until a soft knock on the door made them jump, bringing them out of the bubble they had created.

They both got up without saying anything and got dressed facing away from each other.

“Are you ready?” asked Hongjoong.

Seonghwa nodded, grabbing the two bags that he’d be taking with him back to Korea from the floor and walking towards the door.

He took a deep breath before forcing a smile on his face. “Yeah.”

They walked outside, where the rest of the crew was waiting for them, and Seonghwa felt more tears get stuck in the tight ball in his throat.

Wooyoung was already crying when he came to a stop in front of them and the cook hugged him the moment he was close enough.

“I’m going to miss you so much.”

Seonghwa choked on a sob. “Me too. Please, don’t go around befriending prisoners next time, okay?”

The cook laughed wetly before he let go of him.

He said goodbye to each of them, hugging them once it was their turn. 

He gasped when Yunho was quick to wrap his arms around him tightly before saying: “I guess you weren’t that bad, Park Seonghwa.”

The commander laughed and returned the hug with the same intensity. “I guess you weren’t that bad either, Jeong Yunho.”

The quartermaster chuckled in his ear before whispering: “I’ve never seen him look this happy before. Thank you.”

Seonghwa didn’t reply out loud but he grabbed him extra tightly in response.

He dried the traitorous tears that had managed to escape his hold before walking over to the same ramp he had used to sneak into this ship two months ago.

He turned around to look at the people who had taught him so much about himself one last time, forcing another smile and waving. In a moment of weakness, he looked at Hongjoong and stared into his eyes once again. He was tempted to run back into the ship to get one last kiss, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to leave again if he did that.

“Thank you for everything! Please, be careful and take care,” he yelled before turning around, walking away from the ship before he got the chance to break down in front of everybody.

He walked into the crowd fast, trying to put himself together.

He’d probably break into tears the moment he was alone in an enclosed space, but he was going to be strong for now.

He was going to do what Hongjoong tells him to do once again.

He was going back to try to live his life as the man he was always supposed to be.

–

Seonghwa stared out the window, looking at the people walking by for what felt like the tenth time. He took a deep breath and walked inside the room again, looking at himself in the mirror for the twentieth time before going back to the window.

The sun was hanging over the coast line so it was still quite early, but he felt like he was going to go crazy if he didn’t get out of this room at that very moment.

He grabbed his coat and wrapped it tightly around him before walking out of the door. He quickly scanned the vessels anchored at the port, but disappointment spread quickly in his stomach when he didn’t find the ship he was looking for.

Seonghwa sighed and walked into the now familiar tavern, sitting on the first available table he could find and looking around, trying to pinpoint a furry coat but not finding any once again.

He tried to crush the anxiety that was bubbling up inside him.

He’d been in Macau for three days now, waiting.

He knows a lot of unforeseeable things can happen when you’re at sea so he tried to keep his thoughts positive, but it was starting to get harder to maintain hope.

What if he’s hurt?

He felt his knee bouncing under the table as the innkeeper came to greet him and ask for his order before leaving again.

What if he forgot about me?

Seonghwa took another deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

He didn’t know which one of the options was worse.

He took a long sip of baijiu the moment the innkeeper put it in front of him on the table.

He’d probably go back to his rented room pissed drunk to cry himself to sleep for the third night in a row, so he might as well start early.

A woman walked to him and greeted him sweetly, clearly looking for a sailor who would be willing to pay her for her company. He was quick to turn her away with a couple of coins and a forced smile.

He was on his second bottle of baijiu when a man walked up to his table. 

“You seem lonely, do you mind if I keep you company?” he asked in Chinese.

Seonghwa stared at him in silence for a moment. He was older than him but he looked handsome, there was something that reminded him of Hongjoong in his smirk and he was tempted to say yes for a moment.

“I’m sorry, I’m waiting for someone,” he said instead.

“You seemed to be waiting for someone yesterday too,” replied the man. “A beautiful thing like you doesn’t deserve to get stood up twice. Whoever you’re waiting for doesn’t deserve you.”

He looked up at the man in annoyance this time.

“I’m fine, thank you. I don’t need your company.”

The man snorted and raised his hands in surrender. “Okay. I’ll be over there if you change your mind.”

Seonghwa took another sip and didn’t look up as the man walked away. He looked around once again, sighing when he was unable to find a familiar face.

This is the last try. I’m not coming back for a fourth night.

He finished the bottle, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do now.

He had ignored the part of him that kept saying Hongjoong wouldn’t show up as he made his way to Macau, clinging to the hope that the other man would be as excited as him to meet again. He hadn’t thought of what he’d do if the captain were to never show up.

He was debating if he should ask for food or another drink when he felt someone stand next to his table. He sighed and looked up, expecting another person trying to offer their company, only to feel the air leave his lungs with a punch.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

Seonghwa pressed his lips together, trying to maintain his composure and not burst into tears right then and there.

“Hello, Captain.”

Hongjoong laughed. “Can I sit down?”

“Please,” he replied with a shaky breath.

They stared at each other in silence and Seonghwa was happy to see that the other man looked as nervous and excited as he felt.

He had almost convinced himself that the image he had of the pirate in his mind was enhanced by the distance and the memories, that there was no way he was as handsome as he remembered.

It was true in a way, the mental image was far from the reality.

He was absolutely beautiful, so much better than the faint images from his memories.

He was wearing a furry coat he’s never seen before and his hair was shorter, but he otherwise looked the same way he had the last time he saw him a year ago.

Their staring contest was briefly interrupted when the innkeeper came to ask if they needed anything. 

“Have you eaten? I’m starving,” asked Hongjoong.

Seonghwa shook his head.

They ordered some food and more baijiu, thanking the innkeeper and watching him leave again.

They stared at each other once again, until the captain giggled and looked down at the table, breaking eye contact.

“The rest of the boys are dying to see you. I didn’t want them to come with me in case…you weren’t here, but it’d mean a lot to them if you could stop by the Aurora to say hi after dinner.”

Seonghwa laughed. 

“I’m dying to see them too,” he said. “Of course I was going to be here. I told you I would.”

The pirate laughed too and nervously scratched his neck. “Yeah, well, it’s been a year. I had no way of knowing if you’d be able to make it, even if you wanted to.”

The innkeeper came with their food and they distracted themselves with it for a moment before Hongjoong broke the silence again:

“You look really good. I didn’t think you could look even better, but somehow you do. You look…happy. It suits you.”

Seonghwa chuckled and he could feel his face heat up.

“I…I’ve done a lot of work on myself this last year. I learned how to embrace myself properly. I am happy, I finally feel comfortable and valid in my own skin. I feel brave enough to do what I really want to do now, regardless of what other people think of me.”

The pirate smiled widely. “I’m so happy to hear that, Seonghwa.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “I want to thank you for so many things, actually. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you. You taught me so much about myself and what I really want, you laid the foundation so I could build myself on top of it. I owe you so much. Nobody has ever cared so selflessly about my wellbeing as you have.”

Hongjoong swallowed and he looked overwhelmed as he replied. “Thank you, it means a lot that you think that way. You were so vulnerable, I’ve wondered many times if I had accidentally done something that somehow ruined your life, but I’m very happy to see you’ve done a fantastic job building yourself up.”

Seonghwa smiled. 

They ate in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying each other’s company.

“Do…do you have a lover right now?” he asked after clearing his throat.

The pirate snorted and looked at him fondly. “No, I don’t have a lover right now. What about you? Is someone waiting for you back home?”

“No. Nobody is waiting for me back in Korea.”

The air seemed to switch around them in a manner of seconds, getting charged and heavy.

The look on the other man’s eyes told Seonghwa that he wasn’t the only one who felt the tension.

“Would you be up to coming back to my cabin with me tonight then? For old time’s sake.”

Seonghwa smirked, never breaking eye contact. “For old time’s sake.”

Hongjoong laughed. “I hope you know you won’t be able to get any sleep tonight. I’m making up for the lost time.”

“Bring it on, Captain.”

They both laughed and Seonghwa felt all the tension he had gathered over the last few days leave his body.

“When are you going back to Korea?” asked Hongjoong.

He felt himself get tense again as he stared at the plate.

“I don’t want to ruin the mood, I just want to know how much time we have together.”

He took a deep breath, mustering the courage he needed to have this conversation.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t be going back to Korea any time soon, to be honest.”

Hongjoong frowned and stared at him in confusion.

“I…I was hoping you’d be up to welcoming another person in your crew, Captain.”

The pirate gasped and dropped the spoon he was holding.

“Seonghwa, what are you trying to imply?”

“I’m not a navy sailor anymore, so I was hoping I’d be able to join your crew.”

Hongjoong stared intently at him.

“Are you sure about this? We…” he said, “we are pirates. We are criminals. You never got to see us rob merchant ships last time, but it’s something we do. Sometimes we have to fight people, kill people.”

The former commander sighed. “I know that, Hongjoong. I can promise you I thought a lot about this. I did what you told me to: I went back to my life to live it as the person I was always supposed to be, and I found that this person hated that life. I was never happy with it in the first place, but now I was able to look at it with a clearer look and everything looked even more grim and unsatisfying. The only thing I liked about being in the Navy was helping people, and I can still do that with you.”

He took a deep breath before continuing. 

“I tried many things, I really did. I did all the things I always wanted to try, I told people what I really thought about them, I refused to do things I didn’t want to and fought back when I had to. I did a lot of things that made me feel somewhat happy, but nothing made me as complete as you all did. Nothing made me as complete as you did, Hongjoong. There’s nothing waiting for me back in Korea, I said my goodbyes and took care of everything that needed to be taken care of. I’d love to travel with you across the Seven Seas and have sex in beaches all over the world, if you still want that.” 

He swallowed and cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice from shaking as much as his hands were.

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’m just letting you know that I’m willing to drop everything for you, if you’ll take me. I have thought deeply about it and it’s something I truly want to do.” 

He released a breath. He had rehearsed this speech many times before, but it was even more nerve-wracking than he had expected.

Hongjoong stared at him in silence for a while, looking intently into his eyes.

“I would be honored to welcome you to my crew. There’s nothing I want more than to travel across the Seven Seas with you by my side, having sex wherever the fuck you want.”

They laughed again and stared at each other.

“How did your asshole father take that decision? I assume he wasn’t happy,” the captain said.

“That’d be an understatement. He doesn’t know the real reason, obviously. I had initially told everybody that I had run away with a woman I knew my family wouldn’t approve of, but that it hadn’t worked out in the end,” Seonghwa explained, snorting at the absurdity of his lie. “So I just took that excuse and ran with it again. I told them that I didn’t want to do this anymore, that I was going to marry this woman and become a regular sailor. I’m not sure if they actually believed me, but I don’t really care anymore.”

Hongjoong laughed loudly. “Yeah, I guess you couldn’t just say that you were kidnapped by a pirate who later became your male lover.”

“Clearly not. I thought about saying I had been kidnapped anyway, but I certainly didn’t look like someone who had been locked in a cell for two months. I didn’t know what else to say, so I just went with that.”

The captain smirked and leaned over the table, staring into his eyes.

“Well, I apologize to that poor imaginary woman, because you’re mine now.”

Seonghwa swallowed, feeling lightheaded suddenly. “Are you done with your food? Can we leave now?”

The captain pushed the plate away and got up. “Let’s go.”

They paid for the meal and went back to Seonghwa’s room in order to pick up his stuff so he could officially move into the Aurora.

Hongjoong grabbed him the moment they were inside the rented room, holding him tight against his body. The other man sighed and returned the hug with the same intensity, breathing the captain’s scent in and feeling like the missing piece of the puzzle had finally come into place.

The captain moved back a little, just enough to stare into his eyes, before he kissed him. The kiss was deep but slow and Seonghwa felt a tingly sensation spread through his whole body, feeling dizzy and euphoric just from tasting Hongjoong once again.

He doesn't know how long they stayed there, holding each other tightly and kissing, feeling one another, by the time the captain broke the silence:

“I’ve missed you so much. I knew I was going to notice your absence, but I severely underestimated how much. I regretted letting you go the second you walked into the crowd a year ago.”

Seonghwa snorted softly and looked into his eyes. “I’ve missed you so much too. It almost felt like I was missing a part of me. I don’t regret it, though. I think…you were right, we needed to take a step back to think clearly. I needed to go back home, I needed to see , but I’m here now and I’m all yours. I’ll be yours as long as you’ll have me.”

Hongjoong pressed his forehead against his. “I don’t want to sound dramatic but I hope you’re ready to stick around for a long time then, because I’m not letting you go.”

They both laughed and stayed there for a little longer before the captain moved away. “Let’s go.”

Seonghwa grabbed his stuff and they both walked out, heading towards the Aurora. The ex-commander smiled and looked at the other man when they walked past the familiar flower stand, but Hongjoong didn’t acknowledge it.

The whole crew was on the deck when they made it to the ship and he could hear Wooyoung’s scream all the way from the dock. He laughed as he saw the cook run towards them and he opened his arms, getting ready for the impact.

“Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much!!” the other man screamed as he hugged him tightly. “I’m so happy you’re actually here, I didn’t want to get my hopes up but I really wanted to think you wanted to see us too.”

“Of course I wanted to see you all,” he said into the man’s hair.

“Come on, let him breathe,” said Hongjoong, as he hadn’t held him even tighter just minutes ago.

They walked the rest of the way to the ship and everybody else jumped to hug him the moment he set a foot on the deck. He laughed as he held each of them, feeling overwhelmed and like he could cry at any moment. 

He felt like he was coming home.

He chuckled when Yunho hugged him firmly and the quartermaster pushed him away jokingly when he heard him. “It’s not like I missed you or anything, I was just tired of seeing everybody mop because they missed their mom.”

Hongjoong laughed next to him and put the bag he was holding down.

“Okay, crew, your captain is speaking. I know you’re all happy to see him, but pay attention to me for a moment,” he said. “Mister Park Seonghwa here has requested to join our crew. As it’s customary in this ship, I want to initiate a vote so we can decide if we accept his petition or not.”

Everybody seemed so shocked that nobody said anything for a moment.

Seonghwa laughed nervously and bowed. “I hope you’ll carefully consider letting me join your family.”

“Are you sure about this?” asked Wooyoung solemnly.

“Very sure,” he responded with the same seriousness. “I borrowed a page from your book, Wooyoung. I decided it was time to become a pirate for someone important too.”

That seemed to be enough to convince them, because everybody started excitedly talking at the same time after the confirmation. 

“Hands up, who wants Seonghwa to join our crew?”

All of them raised their hand before Hongjoong had even finished the question and the ex-commander felt tears running down his face.

“Thank you, I hope you won’t regret it.”

Wooyoung was quick to hug him again with teary eyes. “We’re going to have so much fun!!”

The rest of the crew joined the hug and Seonghwa laughed as he tried to softly touch each of them to show his appreciation.

“I think we all knew this would happen, in a way,” said Yeosang.

The ex-commander shoved him away playfully.

Everybody kept asking him questions at the same time and he found himself giggling once again as he tried to put some order to the chaotic conversation.

“Can I borrow him for the night? There are so many things we have to talk about!” said Wooyoung excitedly.

San laughed and pulled him away from their new crewmate. “Love, I think he and the captain probably want to properly greet each other. You can spend time with him tomorrow, he’s not going anywhere.”

Seonghwa laughed but didn’t say anything.

There was nothing in this world that could stop him from spending the night with Hongjoong.

He had done enough waiting.

The captain pushed everybody away before grabbing his hand. “I think we’re all tired from all this excitement, why don’t we head back to our rooms and we can celebrate his arrival tomorrow?”

Yunho chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re just tired and want to get a good night of sleep.”

Hongjoong didn’t even acknowledge him, he just pulled on Seonghwa’s hand to drag him to his cabin as the rest of the crew whistled and sarcastically wished them a good night.

His laughter was abruptly stopped when the captain opened the door and they walked into the cabin.

There were flowers everywhere.

They covered basically every available surface in the cabin, vibrant colors standing out from every piece of furniture in the room. Even the floor was covered in petals.

He tried to calm his beating heart before speaking, feeling like was going to pass out from the turmoil of emotions he’s felt in such a short time.

“Hongjoong…”

“Sorry they don’t look that pretty. I got some of them in the last port so they’re not as fresh, and I just kind of carelessly threw the ones I bought today around because I wanted to get to the tavern fast.”

Seonghwa turned around to face the man and found the captain blushing.

“You didn’t even know if I’d be there, if I’d want to come back with you.”

The captain laughed shyly and scratched his neck. “Yeah, but I was hoping.”

The ex-commander didn’t say anything else, he just grabbed the other man’s head and kissed him roughly.

I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Things escalated quickly after that. They hastily took their clothes off, accidentally hitting each other a couple of times in their hurry, and fell on the bed.

Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s cock the moment they were laying down, stroking softly and taking a nipple into his mouth. “I apologize now because I’m not going to last very long. It’s been a painfully long year and I’m so desperate that I’ll probably explode the moment you touch me, to be honest.”

The ex-commander gripped his hair and pulled him away from his chest, looking into his eyes.

“You…you haven’t been with other people?”

The captain looked embarrassed for a moment. “I…I haven’t felt like it. I tried a couple of times, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and it felt wrong. I knew you’d absolutely hate it too, so I didn’t want to do that to you.”

Seonghwa felt like he could cry again. He’d gone absolutely crazy with jealousy thinking about the things the captain would be doing with other men in his absence.

“Me neither,” he whispered. “I tried a couple of times too, but I couldn’t go through it.”

Hongjoong smiled widely and he looked as relieved as he felt.

They touched each other almost reverently, getting reacquainted with one another once again. 

It felt like it had been an eternity ago since the last time they touched each other like this, but also like it had just been yesterday at the same time to Seonghwa.

“I need you inside me, please. I need to feel you close.”

The captain smiled before grabbing the oil from the bedside table and kissing him softly, opening him up with shaky fingers without breaking the kiss.

They maintained eye contact as Hongjoong pushed his cock inside him, both of them gasping at the feeling. 

He couldn’t help but close his eyes at the intensity of the sensations. He felt full in a way he hadn’t been in a year, his own fingers never coming close to the real thing.

The captain rested his forehead against his, fucking into him with slow but deep thrusts.

Seonghwa adored when the other man lost control and used his body roughly, but right now the slow rhythm and soft caresses were only increasing his overwhelmed emotional state.

He only noticed he was crying when Hongjoong dried his tears.

“Shh, I’m right here with you.”

The ex-commander sobbed as he wrapped his arms and legs tightly around the other man, bringing him even closer to him.

“I’ve missed you so much, you feel so good.”

Hongjoong looked at him with teary eyes before replying: “Me too.”

They were still holding each other tightly by the time they both came, kissing and whispering sweetly against each other’s lips.

They stayed awake for a while after that, sharing anecdotes from the year they’ve spent apart, but Seonghwa fell asleep without even noticing at some point, feeling more relaxed than he has in a really long time. 

He woke up feeling startled at some point during the night, thinking for a second that he was going to find himself alone after dreaming of spending the night in this very same bed.

But it wasn’t a dream, not this time.

He was finally here.

He smiled and felt himself relax as he looked at Hongjoong, fast asleep next to him. He looked at his beautiful pointy profile, the way his long eyelashes laid on his cheek, the way his chest rose with each breath. He sighed and moved closer, laying his head over the other man’s chest and listening to the slow rhythmic heartbeat.

I think I love you.

–

Seonghwa was twenty-six when he finally discovered what true happiness feels like.