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Chapter Text

This train ride was particularly dreadful to him. More agonizing than the last 5 he'd remembered. He was on edge and everyone was setting him off. Even Blaise and Pansy, who were the closest thing he had to friends at Hogwarts, were annoying him. To make matters worse, he was being watched. He had every right to be, but he couldn't let the pressure take over and make him the least bit suspicious. It was the same train and the same destination but everything felt different to him. The train came to a stop after a long hour of not one word coming out of his mouth to his Slytherin peers.

"Coming Draco?" Pansy asked, sounding concerned. Even she knew that something was off.

"You go ahead. I'll be there in a sec." He said vaguely as if he even cared to walk with them in"

Before he closed the passenger door he caught a glimpse at a fair, curly-haired Hermione Granger. Their eyes met but she turned away looking worried. Probably for the dimwit Potter who he was just about to take care of. He watched her until she was out of sight. He couldn't have any witnesses for what he was about to do. He thought about killing him right then and there just to get one of his obstacles out of the way. But his duties lie elsewhere so the best he could do was leave him there and get off the train before it took off again.

He quickly gathered his belongings and hurried past the compartments. He almost ran into that loony blond who was walking aimlessly down the hall. The train could take her too for all he cared. He finally got to the arch eager to get dinner over with so he could get through another sleepless night but he's been stopped at bag check which was new this year. Just what he needed to prolong his mission of getting to bed.

When it was finally over with he saw no other than Harry himself whom he'd just kicked the shit out of approaching the arch. He left as he wanted no confrontation. Great, he thought, my one chance of getting rid of Potter failed. He felt defeated by him once again. He seemed to get himself out of every inconvenience life threw at him.
After the sorting of the first years and dinner, Draco finally found himself with the peace he longed for all day. He was alone in his shared dorm. He arrived before anyone came back to the common room. There, he sat in silence contemplating any last thought he had before he let his head hit the pillow. His eyes were closed but he didn't sleep. And right now, that's what he desperately wanted.

Everyone else was still in the Great Hall. As for Hermione, she was interrogating Harry on being late and why he looked as if he ran face-first into a brick wall. He'd always looked that way to her. Always bloodied up. Always getting himself into trouble whether it was self-inflicted or not. He didn't give her much information so she brushed it off for now. She could not help but think Malfoy was behind it. After all, he was the last person she saw before getting off the train. Couldn't they be civil for one year?

Chapter Text

The next morning classes started and Draco made his way to potions class. He was used to seeing Snape around the cauldrons, not this pathetic excuse for a professor. Draco tried his best to not doze off at the first lecture of the year but he couldn't help it. He hadn't been getting much sleep lately. A part of him didn't want to. His dreams were worse than being awake.

He'd almost nodded off when a familiar voice made him perk up. Hermione was the first to answer the question that Slughorn had asked. Typical. He watched her go on and on about each potion presented to them. He always found it fascinating that she knew so much. Although he made snarky comments about it in the past, he was impressed with her knowledge. This time he didn't say a word. He felt he had outgrown his childish ways. Besides, he had more important things to deal with than shoot down a girl who had done nothing to him. Despite being a mudblood that is.

She finished up her speech and after over informing the class, she took a step back. The other girls gawked over the love potion she had just explained. Draco paid no mind to them. He caught himself staring at the Hermione. She looked lovely today. Maybe his brain was trying to distract him from reality but he couldn't help but stare. She'd grown a lot since last year and she was starting to look like a woman. His mind wandered as he thought about what she might look like under her robes but he quickly shook that thought as her eyes met his gaze. He shifted his attention back to the potions.

After class, Draco felt confused. He had never thought about her like that before. At least not in that way. She was always portrayed as a side character to him. Just another one of Potter's posse. He blamed it on his lusty teenage hormones and convinced himself that he thought about every attractive girl that way. That wasn't true, he never let those thoughts take over him unless it was necessary.

He thought back to last year and his countless nights fooling around with Pansy. It had only briefly crossed his mind though, he couldn't remember the last time they had even touched. She had become more of a sidekick to him now. Not anyone he would picture himself with. She was attractive, yes, but didn't make an impact on him outside of the bedroom.

***
Hermione went on with her day like any other. Although, she wondered why Draco had been staring at her in potions. She also wondered why he didn't take a jab at her intelligence, which was so predictable by now.

She walked down the hallways reading a book she had just gotten from the library. She walked as she read. She knew her way around the castle like the back of her hand and always knew exactly where she was going. She started towards the Gryffindor common rooms when she was suddenly knocked to the ground by another student. She blamed herself for not taking her nose out of her book and looking up for a second while she turned the corner. When she looked up she recognized the student as Malfoy. He didn't bother to help her up. She immediately turned the blame on him. He did look rather distracted anyway.

"I think you owe me an apology?" She said gathering herself and brushing the dirt off her robes.

"Sorry Granger, didn't see you there." He replied in a rather stuck-up tone. "Maybe next time pay attention to where you're going and you won't end up on your ass."
He quickly made a getaway before he could make the situation any more awkward. What are the odds he would run into her after what he had thought about her earlier? He'd almost forgotten his sins until that moment. When he felt his body forced on hers knocking her down, it all came back to him. He tried to make the thoughts disgust him as he walked to his corridor. He thought if he never saw her again he would be perfectly fine. He brushed his intrusive thoughts aside like dust under the rug and got ready for yet another sleepless night.

Chapter Text

It had been weeks since his incident with Hermione. He hadn't thought about it once. He felt reassured but also drained at the same time. His brain had mostly been taken up with his duties to the Dark Lord. He thought of ways to find the confidence to go through with it. He would not be a coward this time. His family and his life depended on it.
He found school to be unimportant to him right now. The few times he would show up to class, he couldn't be bothered to pay attention. He was preoccupied with the weight on his shoulders. He didn't have time to be worried about school work right now. He knew he was letting assignments slip by him and he hadn't learned one thing the entire 2 months of being there this year.

It wasn't until Defense Against the Dark Arts that he started feeling drowsy. The lack of sleep was taking a toll on him and his energizing charms wore off far too soon. He rested his head in his arms and fell asleep on his desk. Whenever he closed his eyes, everything went dark. He lost all control when he fell asleep. He dreamt about his parent's execution. They died because of him. He was just about to watch himself die when someone shook him awake.
He turned around to see Professor Snape hovering over him.

"You have not turned in one assignment all year Mr. Malfoy" he spoke with his monotone voice and had a dreadfully unenthusiastic look on his face. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"I- I'm sorry sir," Draco replied as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "I think I'm coming down with something." He forced a cough which didn't convince Snape in the slighted.

"If you don't start doing your part as a student, I will have no choice but to expel you." He looked more serious than usual. If that was even possible. "You will be spending your nights at the library from now on until you are caught up." Draco tried to interrupt. "No exceptions Draco."

Snape left him alone in the classroom. Draco felt overwhelmed. He couldn't get expelled. His life depended on it. He sat while his thoughts raced in his head. It took a while for him to get up. Perhaps studying would be good for him. It could possibly take his mind off everything. He tried to stay optimistic as he drug himself to the library.
He strolled the aisles looking for the book he needed to get started on his missing assignments. He found the section but was it was blocked by a quiet brown-haired girl who was far too interested in her book to notice he was there. When he realized who she was he just stood there. For a little too long.
Hermione felt the presence of someone behind her.

"Can I help you?" she spoke before she even knew who was standing behind her. She turned around to see Malfoy towering over her. She felt small compared to him.

"I need that." he pointed to a book that was in front of her. She was kind of shocked that he hadn't insulted her yet. She handed it to him and he walked away without saying thank you. She didn't expect him to.

He sat down at a table adjacent to hers and opened the book to a random page. He looked lost. Hermione tried to get back to her book but couldn't help but study him instead. He looked all around puzzled and didn't even have any parchment to write notes on. She noticed he lost focus far too often. What was he doing here? For how many years she'd spent in this library she had not once seen Draco. Being the bright young lady she was, she decided to see if he needed any assistance. Even though she despised him, she couldn't pass up an opportunity to show off her brilliant mind.

"Do you need help with your assignments, Draco?" he didn't look up from the book. He didn't even respond. She noticed what he was reading was year six spells. She had taken that class last year so she could take more advanced classes this year. "I already took that class you know, I wouldn't mind showing you where to start." She tried not to sound too cocky but it just came naturally.

"And why would I need help from you Granger?" he had already had enough of feeling stupid for one day. He didn't need to be belittled by that know-it-all right now.

"It was just an offer..." her words lingered as she went back to her seat. He stared blankly at the pages. He did need help. He had been looking at the same page forever and hadn't read one word. He was hopeless. He couldn't help to think what would happen if he got expelled failed to follow through with his mission. He sat in silence for a while before raising his voice.

"Actually, I am a bit behind." He caught her attention. "Would you mind helping me get started with this assignment?" he felt ashamed asking for help but greater things were at risk. She sat next to him and started going off. He only caught bits and pieces of what she said but he got the gist.
"I only asked you because I'm too tired right now to do it myself, okay?" he started to feel vulnerable. He had to shake that. "Don't think too much about it Granger." he spat, "I don't need your charity work."

She knew she was supposed to feel insulted by that but she didn't. She found this diss rather pathetic. She almost felt bad for him that he couldn't come up with something more hurtful. It was nearly midnight and they were the last ones in the library. Draco was getting his work done but also not at the same time. He found himself looking over at Hermione a lot since her page-turning was distracting. His gaze would go from the book to her chest then up to her full lips as they mouthed the words she was reading. He had done this about twelve times and quickly looked away before she realized he was staring.

He had never noticed her before. She had always been around, yapping that big mouth of hers in every single class. That was hard to ignore, but he never actually noticed her like this before. Her skin was smooth and her lips pouted as she talked to herself. She wasn't a knockout by any means but her subtle beauty did it for him.
For a moment he couldn't tell if he was dreaming or not. he was definitely not dreaming, this was way more pleasant and he was in control. He daydreamed about her shedding her robes to the ground. Next was her shirt, then her skirt. He pictured what her body would look like naked then felt his blood rush to his groin. He must have been more sleep-deprived than he thought because he forgot she was sitting right there.

He pictured her naked body walking towards him. Her lips formed his name and he was in complete awe of his imagination.
"Draco.." his thoughts were becoming more realistic.
"Draco!" He sat up with a jolt and quickly covered his lap with his book. She was standing over his table saying something inaudible.

"What?" he managed to choke the word out.

"Yoo-hoo" she sang waving a hand in front of his face. "I said the library is going to close soon. I don't think Filch will appreciate you staying the night here." she laughed at him.

"Right," he said but didn't stand up yet. He waited for her to leave before he followed far behind her. He was embarrassed for even thinking something like that. If his father knew he had been fantasizing about a mudblood, he would have his head on a steak. He got to his common room knowing very well he could've gotten himself in trouble tonight. He needed sleep. He gave into a sleeping spell he put on himself praying for a dreamless rest. He fell asleep before his head hit his pillow.

Chapter Text

Draco woke up feeling more refreshed than he had in several weeks. He felt the bliss of waking up from a good night's rest without the goddamn nightmares. He had breakfast on his mind and sure enough Hermione too. He brushed that off as he got ready, thinking nothing of it. He told himself he would forget about it by the end of the day. That was a lie.
He spent all of his classes avoiding her. He would've just skipped if he could. It was torcher and he hated himself. He hated his brain for even thinking thoughts so vile. He tried to block out any thought of the sort. He even considered a spell to make him forget, but he didn't want to obliviate himself. He didn't know what that would make him forget. He wasn't too great with spells anyway. He was always keen on curses and hexes. Those didn't take as much thought, or as much talent. Charms made him like an idiot. He could never get them just right.

Evening rolled around and he made his way to the library for the second time that week. Sure enough, she was there. Who was he kidding, she was ALWAYS there. Studying away. As if she needed it. He decided he couldn't afford that kind of distraction today and sat at a table far away from her. A table close to the door. Convenient if he needed to make a quick getaway.

He managed to finish three assignments that night before burning out. He was impressed with himself. He was finding his focus again. Doing schoolwork was like a safe haven for him. He covered up his stress with a different kind. It was nearly midnight and he decided to called it a night. As he was collecting his belongings he caught her eye. Of course, he thought. Of course, she had to ruin his (barely) successful day of not thinking about her. He looked down at his books for only a second as she walked past. He couldn't help to look up as she left out the door. He focused on her backside. She wasn't wearing a robe today just a shirt and skirt. he looked her up and down. He stared for a little too long at the skin where her stockings ended and her skirt began. He was staring until she was well down the hallway. He caught the attention of some third-year Hufflepuff girls who were giggling and whispering to each other. Great, just what he needed. Gossip.
He was quick with the sleeping spell as soon as he got to his bed. He didn't bother to change into pajamas. He was exhausted. His mind was exhausted. Sometimes he hoped he'd have a brain hemorrhage just to end the misery.

***

The next morning he woke up groggy although he had gotten over eight hours of sleep. He had found he knew his favorite spell. No dreams, just sleep.
He almost felt happy today which he hadn't felt since his second year when he made the quidditch team. Though that was more pride than joy.
He was excited to have a good day for once. he was embracing the serotonin he felt from finally catching up on sleep. It was Friday and he was looking forward to the weekend. He was going to use it to relax. Maybe study a bit but mostly take some time for himself.

Nothing could ruin this day. Not even the intrusive thoughts he got once in a while about that sassy brunette. His hopeful thoughts stopped too soon when Professor McGonagall stopped him in the hall on his way to potions. She asked him to come with her. He followed her into her office wondering what he could've possibly done to get himself into trouble. He couldn't think of one thing.

Her office was already preoccupied with another student sitting by her desk. It was Hermione. Of course it was. The person he has been trying to avoid always makes her way into his routine. What was she doing here? McGonagall gestured him to sit down next to her.

"Professor Snape had told me about your struggles this year. I took it upon myself to get you a tutor." Hermione looked the least bit impressed as she sat there looking as if she had something better to do.

"You've hardly made a dent in your missing work and id simply blame myself for you getting expelled if I didn't intervene." She looked as if she cared about his well being which was something he hadn't seen before.

"As far as I know you have been going to the library after classes anyway so now you will just be accompanied by Miss Granger." Hermione gave a short smile in her direction then went back to her serious look. McGonagall dismissed Hermione asking if Draco could stay to chat for a bit. He obeyed as if he had a choice.

"I understand the stress you must be under this year, Draco." Did she though? "I am more than confident that if you take the time to accept some assistance you will go above and beyond. You're very intelligent and have impressed me many times before. We just have to get you on the right path." She gave him a sweet smile. "I do not doubt in my mind that with a little hard work you will make a fine head boy next year. He almost let out a chuckle. She had no clue what would happen between now and then. Not the slightest idea.
"I've expected great things from you since before you ever stepped foot at Hogwarts." She acted as if she knew him better than he did. Did she? He returned a forced smile letting her know that he had agreed. He left her office without saying another word.

That was just his luck. Being tutored by a mudblood made him feel even more like a dunce. He thought about what it would be like being head boy. He thought about having a normal life. Normal parents. That turned his potentially good day into a horrible one. He knew it was too good to be true.
He took his time walking to the library. Exhaling every intrusive thought he had about Hermione as he breathed. She would think he was a complete fool if she were to ever find out what he thought about her. She'd probably be mortified. He walked up to the table she was sitting at. She was always sitting there. It was as if it were assigned to her. Books were spread out which overwhelmed him. Her expressions were dull but she looked willing.

"Where do you want to start?" He had no idea. After a few moments, he mumbled something.

"I don't know. Potions?" He had never talked so quietly. Why was he acting as if he had never talked to a girl before? Her brown eyes pierced his.

"Sorry what?" she asked. She didn't hear him. He was already humiliated. He cleared his dry throat.

"Potions." He repeated more confidently. It was as if he lost all his charisma. It was so unlike him.
They chatted about the assignments for a while. She made some witty comments trying to keep his attention. It worked. He realized she was quite funny. Was she enjoying spending time with him? maybe she just enjoyed studying. He quickly grew bored of the subject and decided to change the subject.

"How is it that you know everyone and I know next to nothing?" He regretted that comment. Feeling pity for himself. He hoped she wouldn't feel that too. He couldn't look weak in front of her.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Passion?" she said without looking up. The word made his heart flutter. Was she trying to make him feel stupid or was she just being honest?

"Passion?" He repeated raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." She gave a sweet smile. She was kind of surprised that she was actually having a conversation with him without any insults. This had to be the most they had talked since they met. She went on and on about the joys of learning and gaining knowledge. She spent a particularly long time explaining how much she loved books. Not only reading them but the way they felt and the way they smelled. He didn't hear a single word she said. He started the conversation and wasn't even listening. He was too busy watching her lips as they formed words. He wanted to kiss her so bad. He had a new feeling he had never felt in his 16 years of living. It was overpowering and he felt himself zone out.
He rested his chin in his hands. He knew he looked bored and she stopped mid-sentence. She felt embarrassed about going on and on about something he really didn't even care about.

"I think that should be enough for today." She finally said in a stern tone. She gave him a couple of assignments before she decided to leave him alone for the night. To his surprise he actually did them. Every last one. It was like he was scared to disobey her. Not that she had much power over him. Not that she knew of anyway.

He supposed he better go back to his common room for the night. On his way out of the library, he decided to take a different route. he stumbled into the abandoned girl's bathroom. Not one thought from his mind wasn't about her and he knew that she wasn't thinking the same things. Those thoughts probably never crossed her mind.
He looked at himself in the mirror. He was losing a grip. Losing focus on what was really important. He only had a few months before he had to follow through with his task. The mere thought of it made him cringe. With all of his strength, he broke the mirror with his fist. Leaving shards of glass in his knuckles. He didn't flinch at the pain. He just walked away.

Chapter Text

Draco woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. Terrified from his nightmares. He had forgotten the sleep spell last night. He was exhausted enough as it was. His hand burned. He didn't bother to treat it other than wrapping it with a bandage. He didn't pay enough attention in charms class to know any healing spells.
It was nearly 4 am and he knew there was no way he would go back to sleep. He pulled himself together for another long day. He looked at the pile of books on his nightstand and decided to do another assignment. A proud feeling came back to him again. A feeling that would soon go away as the dark thoughts quickly took over his mind. He did his best to shake them. Replacing them with thoughts of Hermione. It was the best he could do.

Hours passed and he became infatuated with the new crush he had developed. Kind of depressed he couldn't act on it. It was a relationship like that would simply not work out.
Classes passed and went to the library at the end of the day like usual. He was almost caught up with potions and he felt good about that. Not that he had any other goal than to not be expelled. Even though he thought that might as well be the best thing for him.

Hermione was there but she wasn't at her table. He sat down and decided to get on with it without her. She was talking to some Ravenclaw prefect who was a year older than both of them. He was tall and dark and was obviously into Hermione. She was giggling a little too loud for his liking.
He cleared his throat trying to let her know he was there. She didn't budge. She was staring deep into the eyes of someone he never bothered of getting the name of. A new feeling rushed from his head to the pit of his stomach. Was Draco Malfoy jealous? Jealous of a girl who hardly acknowledged his presence. He couldn't be.
His jealousy quickly became anger the longer he watched. He stood up and interrupted their conversation. He had almost knocked the boy down as he stood up to Hermonie.

"We got work to do, Granger. I've been waiting." He said abruptly.

"We were kind of in the middle of something..." The Ravenclaw boy looked offended.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Draco had a sarcastic tone to his voice. "Did I interrupt your make out sesh?" He didn't know where the words were coming from but he couldn't stop them. "I'm sure the whole school has had a taste of you by now. It's a fact that Potter and Weasley already had."

She looked at him in shock not able to speak. He had no idea what came over him. The Ravenclaw boy left them alone as he quickly understood this had nothing to do with him.

"That's not true." her voice was hoarse. She was on the verge of tears.

"Of course, it's not. Besides who would want a mudblood like you?" His words cut deep. That was his go-to insult for her but it hurt every time she heard it.
He turned away and sat at their table. "Come on Granger, lets get this over with."
She noticed his bandaged hand. She didn't know if he had got into a fight or what but she wanted to avoid him at all costs.
She walked over to him cautiously.

"I don't think we will be studying together tonight, Malfoy."

"You have to." he was quick to respond. He wanted her to stay despite what he had just said to her.

"I don't have to." her eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not being forced to do this. I just accepted the offer. I'm getting extra credit for this you know. Besides, it looks like you've caught up quite nicely. I don't think we will be needing to see each other anymore." That was half true. He was catching up but he was still so far behind. She left before he could get the last word.

He sat in silence for hours. Feeling regretful. Feeling embarrassed. Maybe if he just got expelled he could get rid of these feelings. He contemplated his death. His inevitable death if he didn't man up. His knuckles burned. He could feel the shards of glass from the mirror he couldn't quite get out himself. He was desperate to relieve the pain. Physically and emotionally.

***

Two days passed and he had not seen Hermione once. Mostly because he was avoiding her. Avoiding everything. His hand still ached and needed to be treated. He avoided that too.
He walked through the hallways with no destination. Avoiding the library at all costs. He traced the cold stone walls with his finger and turned every corner his hand lead him. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't care. He closed his eyes and followed the wall. He stopped when he heard footsteps. He didn't know how far he had wandered.
Those brown eyes he knew so well glared at him as she passed. He guessed he still wasn't over their little argument the other day.

"That's not a good look for you Granger." He said before she could get too far from him. She stopped so fast she nearly tripped.

"Oh yeah?" she snorted sounding slightly amused but irritated. "And what would be a good look for me?" she turned on her heel now facing him. He took a few steps towards her and grinned.

"I don't know... How about a smile?" his toxic masculinity was suffocating. He never thought before he spoke. Being rude just came naturally to him. He didn't know why he couldn't just let her walk away. He just wanted an excuse to talk to her. She frowned harder.

"Why would I ever smile at you?" She stared deep into his eyes making his heart flutter a bit. He didn't have a response. Part of him didn't want her to smile. He thought she looked rather sexy while she was angry. That made the fluttering intensify. She immediately went off on him. She had wanted a fight ever since that evening in the library.

"As a matter of fact, why would I ever do anything for you?" She was furious. There was a fire in her eyes which made them even more sultry. "I tried to be nice and help you with your classwork and this is how you repay me?" She went on and on but Draco couldn't care less about what she had to say. His focus was on those pouty lips of hers. Now more pouty than ever. He wanted to kiss them so badly. Maybe just to get her to shut up. Maybe just because that's all he has been thinking about since she started tutoring him. His smirked the more he thought about it. "You find this funny do you?" She was laughing now in disbelief.

He didn't let her say another word. He had to do something about the burning desire. Before he knew it his lips were pressed so hard against hers their teeth clicked together. He let his emotions get the best of him. She felt exactly like he imagined. She was warm. A kind of warmth that spread all over his body. Her lips felt like they belonged on his even though she didn't kiss him back.

She stood there lifelessly. Not moving her body one bit but at the same time, she didn't move back. His hands were holding her face as he went for more ignoring her unresponsiveness. His bandaged palm was rough on her cheek.
When he finally released her she still didn't move. She wanted to run but her feet wouldn't work. She gaped at him in bewilderment. They stared at each other for an eternity before he finally got the nerve he walked away not saying another word.

Chapter Text

He thought about that kiss all night hating himself. He ran through all the possible scenarios in his head. What was she going to do? Who was she going to tell? How long would it be until the rumors got back to him? He felt ashamed but accomplished. He got what he wanted, just not the right reaction. He didn't regret it but he wished he hadn't done it. Not then anyway.

He lied awake until the sun was up. He didn't want to get up and he never wanted to see her again. He decided to skip classes again and go to the library late that night. What were a couple more missing assignments? He already had a thousand of them. He told his mates he was sick and stared at the wall all day. Thinking about nothing. Thinking about everything.

It was around 7 pm when he gained enough courage to go to the library. He couldn't just not go. Snape had been watching him like a hawk after classes making sure he went every day. He just hoped that she had already come and gone that night. Finally, he was alone. He had the whole place to himself. He could finally focus. He wanted to get as much done as possible before he was kicked out.

Hours passed and he got about five assignments done before he took a break. He felt rather proud of himself which was something he was starting to feel more often. He relaxed and closed his eyes. He was almost completely asleep and didn't hear the footsteps approach him. Hermione cleared her throat trying to get him to wake up without having to touch him. The sound startled him so much he almost fell back in his chair. The sight of her made his heart sink to his gut. Why was she here?

"Forget something?" he managed to break the silence.

"Actually, I was looking for you. I was just talking to Professor McGonagall. She said you have been falling behind again." she raised an eyebrow at him.
He was confused. He thought she was making this up. He had been doing his assignments without her fine. Then, he realized he hadn't been turning them in. He was so disappointed in himself.

"She promised me Head Girl next year if I helped you raise your grade by at least two letters by the end of the year. I'm sorry if you don't think that's practical but I couldn't refuse the offer."

He felt bad. He knew that because of him there probably wouldn't be a next year. For either of them. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he weighed out his options. If he said no, he would save her from getting her hopes up. But he wanted to say yes. She was the best distraction he had had all year. She put him at ease even if she didn't feel the same way. He nodded at her. It was the only thing he could think to do. She sat down and opened up her books.

"You know Draco if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were starting to like me." she raised her eyebrows and then smiled at him.

Draco scoffed at her. "Don't make me laugh, Granger." He looked down as he felt himself start to blush. Why was he being so obvious?

I mean after what happened in the hallwa-" he cut her off mid-sentence.

"That was nothing," he said it like a reflex. "I didn't know what I was thinking."

"I didn't say I didn't like it." She smiled at him again. Was she flirting with him? Hermione Granger. The girl he bullied for the last five years. The girl who was best friends with his arch-enemy. He shook his head and grabbed his quill to start writing. "What happened to your hand? I noticed it a couple of days ago. It doesn't look like it's getting any better. Have you been to the hospital for that?" she interrogated him like a worried mother.

"Just an accident." he brushed it off hoping she would too. She didn't. She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. It was sore to the touch but he didn't care.

"I can fix it for you." She insisted as she pulled out her wand to perform a healing spell. "Episkey." He cringed as the skin around his wound started healing itself. For a healing spell, it was quite painful. She responded to his reaction. "You know the only real way to cure pain is to add a little more," she spoke like a poet. "Everything new distracts from the old." He thought she was absolutely right. Once the spell had done what it had intended they were just left holding hands. He quickly pulled away, stretching his hand.

"Thanks." he said. She looked pleased with herself.

"Just something I've used a million times on Harry. It's the most important one I know." He was amazed by her and her intelligence. He needed to remember that one.

Chapter Text

Draco walked down the hallways of Hogwarts one evening with determination in his eyes. He brought himself to the room of requirement. He was hesitant to go in when the door formed. This was crucial. He had to get this right. They all relied on him. His parents, Bellatrix, Voldemort. As he walked in, a record skipped adding more intensity to the situation. He held a green apple in his newly healed hand. He tossed it to himself like a ball. He couldn't remember the last time his hand felt this good.

That's when he found it covered with a sheet. The vanishing cabinet was similar to the one the Death Eaters showed him at Borgin and Burkes before school had started. He pulled the sheet down revealing it. His stomach turned when he saw it. An overwhelming feeling flooded his brain and he couldn't bear to look at it anymore. He decided to leave the room. He didn't have enough courage to do the thing that night. They would have to wait.

A couple of months had passed and he hadn't stepped foot into the room since that evening. He knew they were growing impatient with him. Tutoring sessions had come and gone with nothing special about them. He was too distracted to start up any silly conversations with her. He was too distracted with his tasks. She knew something was wrong but thought nothing of it.

She managed to help him catch up quite a bit. He soon wouldn't need her help anymore. He often thought about slacking off again just so she could stay with him a little longer. Even though he hadn't been acting on his feelings didn't mean he didn't still feel them. She didn't act on them either. Probably because she didn't feel anything.

Hermione was in the Gryffindor common room with Harry and Ron. she was reading the daily prophet trying to distract herself. Ron was getting cocky about his quidditch tryout. She felt guilty for having even helped him get on the team. She shouldn't have. Ron's confidence was getting a bit too much for her.
Harry changed the subject.

"So Hermione I heard you have been spending an awful lot of time with Malfoy lately." He was aching for information about him since that night they all saw him in the furniture shop. She was in denial about the whole thing. She also knew that's the only reason he brought up the subject. To get information, nothing else.
She explained the situation to him and how she has gotten promised the Head Girl position if she helped him. Ron soon butted into the conversation.

"I hear he's got a bit of a thing for you Hermione." she didn't put down the paper. She already knew that was true, but she didn't want them thinking that.

"Oh yeah? And where did you hear that Ronald?" her tone was sharp.

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "A rumor. I'm just trying to figure out if it's true or not."

She looked up from her reading, not bothering to turn and look at him. "He's vile." she looked back down at the paper. She didn't think that though. Her nights spent with him in the library had her thinking about him a lot. She often found herself watching him write. She liked the way he focused as he studied the book in front of him. She wondered why he was so interested in her. Even though most of the time he didn't show it, she knew he was. The old Malfoy would never accept her offer to help him.

It's not like she was starting to like him herself. She couldn't do that to Harry even though it was kind of fun flirting with him from time to time. But it's not like he wasn't attractive. His light blond hair complemented his complexion and his jawline made a perfect cut and ended just below his ears. His smile always bewitched her. Well, it did the few times he smiled at her. Okay, maybe she did like him. Just a little.

"Well then," Harry chirped up, breaking her train of thought. "How about a walk to Three Broomsticks? I could use a drink."

The three of them made their way to Hogsmeade. Snow was falling as it was early winter. The cold air nipped at their cheeks but they'd be warmed up in no time. They walked in and Hermione ordered three butterbeers for them. She got a little excited when she got the chance to drink. It was unlike her but she loved the feeling. It loosened her up and made the stress of studying float away.

Harry made Ron sit by him and her across. She didn't know why he was assigning them seats until she saw Draco across the room. Harry was starting to become obsessed. A bit annoying really. He wasn't there for long. He looked as if he was trying to get out of there as soon as possible. Hermione felt a bit selfish and thought it was because of her. He was obviously the jealous type and she was sitting with two boys.

The three of them drank about three cups each getting pretty loosened up. She always enjoyed her time with her best friends even though they irritated her sometimes. They soon decided to make their way back to the castle. They laughed and had a good time on the trail until something stopped them in their tracks.

A Gryffindor girl named Katie Bell began to get dragged around in the snow. Nobody was touching her. She seemed to be possessed and she was lifted into the air. All of the light from her eyes escaped and she soon fell to the ground with a thud. It was a horrifying sight. Harry suspected one person.

Draco was back in the castle by then. He was sweating and breathing hard. The guilt took over as he thought about where that package he gave the girl would end up. This was the best idea he could come up with. He thought maybe if something else was to curse Dumbledore, he wouldn't have to kill him himself. He was unaware of what had happened with Katie Bell. He didn't want to know.

Even though it was a Saturday he wanted to go to the library. He knew he would find Hermione there. She was always there. Maybe she could help him get his mind off things. He didn't think about making a move but maybe he should. He hasn't had a proper snog in a while and from what he remembered she said she liked it. Or didn't not like it? For whatever reason, it felt like a good idea.

He walked to their table and sat down. He looked around but she wasn't there. That was very unlike her. He didn't think she could have better things to do than be studying on a weekend. Moments passed and she finally came in. He knew she would but also wondered where she had been.

"You're late, Granger." he teased her a bit but not in the usual mean way.

"We aren't scheduled for tonight, Malfoy." she said in a sarcastic tone mocking his comment. She was a bit hesitant to speak with him after talking to Professor McGonagall and Snape about Katie Bell. Harry had made a serious accusation about Draco that she refused to believe. How could he do something like that? She was with him almost every night and he never slipped up about anything like that.

"Want to stay anyway?" his question felt as if he was begging her to.

"Sorry Draco, I'm only here to grab a couple of books. It's already pretty late." she felt flushed from her drinks earlier that evening. All she wanted to do was read in bed and relax.

"Come on." he pouted at her. "I really need help with this assignment." He had no books on the table and she knew it was a fluke. Although she was a sucker for learning, she needed a bit more convincing.

"What would I exactly get out of it if I stayed?" she egged him on. She found it kind of fun to tease him lately.

Draco had to think of something good to say. "How about dinner? Tomorrow night." his face was kind. Something she had never seen before.

"With you?" she didn't expect that.

He nodded. "I know this spot in Hogsmeade. It's pretty private. I know you would probably want to keep something like this a secret but I've been wanting to repay you for your help." That was true. He wanted to get her alone.

"As tempting as that sounds, I have to refuse. I'm supposed to go to Slughorns dinner party that night. It seems I am one of the few who are at the top of his class." she took a jab at him knowing he wasn't invited. She also felt sort of jealous that Harry was the number one student but she still wanted to still seem confident.
Draco stood up and walked closer to her. She felt her heart flutter as he towered over her looking down into her eyes.

"What does it take to convince you Granger?" he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. She shivered as his touch was cold on her face.

"I simply cannot accept your offer. Being a part of the Slug Club is a great opportunity for me." she stood by her word making sure not to give into him. He was rather convincing.

"I suppose we could reschedule but it will have to be on my terms. I'm a pretty busy guy you know." he knew she wanted to say yes to him. He took another small step towards her. He wasn't sure he could get any closer. Their bodies were practically touching at this point. He knew she couldn't accept his offer for tomorrow night so he didn't push it any farther. What he did push was his lips on hers. She kissed back this time. It felt even better than last time even if her movements were subtle.

He held a hand on the back of her head in an attempt to pull her closer. She finally gave in. She opened her mouth as she accepted the kiss. She placed her hands on his waist bringing their hips together. The more they kissed the weaker he got but the stronger the feeling below his belt grew. He let his hand wander down her back and she reached up to grab his hair. Something about the way she was pressed up against him felt right. He thought about tearing her clothes off but he didn't want to scare her off.
His tongue brushed her lips as if he was begging her to let him in. Sure enough, she allowed it. She tasted like summer. Something he longed for forever since the temperature dropped. She felt like a hot cup of tea and warmed his body up. She was the only one who had that effect on him. She stopped him right as things were starting to get good for him.

"What are we doing Draco?" she couldn't help but giggle. She took a deep breath trying to calm down the sensation in her stomach. Not her stomach, it was lower. "We could get caught!" she started to look a little upset.

"Why don't we take this somewhere a little more private then?" he never wanted her more than he did then.

"We can't. Not tonight Draco." She picked up her books and left him in the library. Draco was confused. Was she ashamed? Did she regret it? She did say not tonight. Did that mean another night? He over thought it until he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Hermione sat at the table with Slughorn and her peers. She stared at her bowl of overflowing ice cream. She hardly made a dent. The conversations around the dinner table bored her. The only thing that has excited her lately was Draco. She thought about the kiss. She had to quickly distract herself before she got too into it. She caught Cormac making eyes at her across the table a few times. He turned her infatuation into disgust as he licked his fingers and winked at her.

She looked down trying her best not to look at him again for the rest of the night. Luckily Ginny Weasley walked in catching everyone's attention. Especially Harrys. She was envious of their relationship. Or the little they had of a relationship. She wished she could be more open about Draco without worrying about her best friends hating her for the rest of her life.

***

The next day was Monday and Hermione felt like she couldn't wait to finish classes so she could meet Draco. She sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner and started making herself a plate. She expected to see Ron there but she guessed he was off with Lavender. They had gotten extremely close lately. It was the kind of puppy love she couldn't stand to see. She was relieved they weren't there that evening.

"So who are you taking to the Christmas party, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I hadn't thought about it." That was a lie. Most of the time she imagined she'd go with Draco, but that was far too risky.

"Neither have I." Harry seemed didn't seem desperate by all means. He didn't think it was that important to have a date.

"Well, I gotta run. I'll see you later." Hermione stood up about to make her way out of the Great Hall.

"Oh, that's right. Another study date with Malfoy huh? Try not to get hexed!"

She ignored him and went for the door. She wondered why Harry was so hung up on that. Draco was already in the library getting a head start on his homework. He was trying to impress her. She walked in and touched his shoulder letting him know she was there. He already knew. He could somehow feel her presence and he memorized the sound of her footsteps.

"Still on for this Saturday are we Granger." he already made the plans.

"I didn't know that was arranged." She admired his forwardness. "Besides, I can't that night. That's Slughorns Christmas party." Another attempt to get her alone has been spoiled by that blasted teacher.

"You're going?" Draco was kind of disappointed he didn't get an invitation. He was doing fairly well in his class now thanks to her help.

"Well of course. I can't pass up an opportunity like that.

"Has anyone asked to go with you yet?"

"Actually, I was thinking about taking you." Her comment made his face light up. "But that would be absurd." when she laughed it broke his heart a little.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Harry's my best friend."

Draco raised his eyebrows not seeming to follow. "So?"

"So?!" she was irritated that he didn't understand. "He hates you and he would hate me too if I showed up with someone like you."

"Someone like me?" he frowned. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean Granger?"

She hated that she had to explain it to him. "Harry's under the impression that you're a Death Eater."

What she had said made his heart sink. He couldn't think what to say next. He couldn't tell her about that. Especially not after the other night. He was starting to care about her and if she found out it would crush her. She would never trust him again.

He let out a forced laugh. "That's ridiculous." He was relieved when she didn't talk about it any further.

"So who are you going with?" This question felt more important than the Death Eater talk.

"Actually, Cormac McLaggen asked me before I got here." she didn't want to tell him but she couldn't to lie to him.

"You said yes?" Draco was upset. "How could you say yes to a twat like that?" Hermione knew he was the jealous type. She didn't want him to worry. He didn't have anything to worry about at all. She only said yes because it was a requirement to take a date.

"He was the first person to ask me." She started to lean over the table and got close to his face. "Don't worry Draco, I'll be wishing it was you the whole night." She got closer and kissed him. It was short but she took a second to back up. She wondered what the hell she was thinking. Something about him made her want to break all the rules.

"I guess we will have to see about that then won't we." He tried to play it cool. He couldn't believe that she kissed him first this time. All he could think about was pushing everything off the table and taking her right there in the library. He managed to control himself before she spoke again.

"Let us start with charms." they both opened their books. Usually, she helped him to focus but today was different. His eyes would wander from her lips and down her neck to her chest. He would quickly look away every time she caught him. A part of him felt bad about what he would have to do to her in the end. He worried about that ever since they started getting close. He thought about what she would do if she ever found out or if he ever had to tell her. That was a day he hoped wouldn't come for a long time. It would eventually though.

After a couple of hours of studying. Hermione gathered her things to leave. She never stayed long to chat after the work was done. She couldn't let herself get close to him, Death Eater or not. She made a vow to help Harry since her first year at Hogwarts. He couldn't lose his trust. She promised to stay by his side until the end.

Chapter Text

It was the night of the Christmas party and Draco took this opportunity to get some personal work done. Well with Hermione being at the party at all, she couldn't distract him. He sat in the hallway for a while as he waited for everyone to get to the party. He couldn't risk being caught. He stared at the door for a while before entering. He finally got the nerve to go in and walk up to the cabinet. Once again he pulled the sheet down. He loathed the purpose it had. Why did he have to be the one to do it? He opened the creaky door and placed a green apple at the base of it. He took a deep breath before closing the door.

"Harmonia Nectere Passus." he whispered the spell to himself. The door opened up revealing that the apple had disappeared. He was quite amazed. Terrified but amazed. He closed the door again.

"Harmonia Nectere Passus." he repeated the spell once more. When he opened the door, the apple had returned with a single bit taken out of it. It worked.

***

Hermione showed up at the Christmas party without Cormac. She told him that she would meet him there. She wanted to spend the least amount of time with him as possible. She wore a reddish-pink dress that stopped at her knees and crossed under her breasts. Even if she didn't feel good, at least she looked good.

She grabbed a drink to calm her nerves and didn't stop drinking it until it was gone. When she put the drink down she saw Cormac walk through the doors. All she could think to do was avoid him. She ran and hid behind the curtains.

She heard a familiar voice shout. She peaked her head through the curtains and saw Draco being pulled in by Filch. She couldn't make out what they were saying but he had clearly gotten himself into trouble. She wondered what he had been doing.

Snape quickly escorted him out. Hermione hid again. Moments passed and she wished she could just leave and find out what Draco had been up to. Draco was just across the hall getting a lecture from Snape. He told him the importance of not getting caught and offered his assistance. He soon sent him to his common room and went back to the party.
Draco didn't go to his common room. Instead, he went back to the party. He didn't get to see Hermione and Cormac together and he couldn't miss that. Maybe he could use it to tease her later. He snuck behind the curtains trying not to catch Snape's eye and to his luck, he ran into just the person he was looking for.
He startled Hermione as she touched her on the shoulder. He wanted to touch her everywhere else. She looked beautiful tonight.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you just get kicked out?" She was trying not to scream.

"I wanted to see you." He looked her up and down. "And I'm really glad I got to." he smiled and bit his lip. "Let's get out of here. It looks like you're not enjoying yourself anyway."

"I have to stay for at least another hour." She desperately wanted to go with him but she didn't want her friends to wonder where she went.

"I have an idea. How about I come back when it's over, we sneak a couple of drinks and have a party of our own?" His offer was very tempting and sounded like a lot of fun to her. Old Hermione wouldn't do something like that in a million years. Especially not with Draco, but everything was starting to feel different. She was gaining trust for a boy she once hated.

She silently agreed and made him get on his way. She spent the rest of the night talking with her friends and avoiding Cormac. She didn't feel so bad about it now. After an hour and a half of dancing and laughing, people started to see themselves out. She watched everyone leave until it was just her and Slughorn.

"Looks like the party is over now, Miss Granger. You are free to go." Slughorn gestured to the door.

"Why don't you have me stay and clean up a bit. It's the least I could do." She was proud of the excuse she came up with.
Slughorn agreed as he was eager to get out of there. It looked as if he had enjoyed one too many drinks that night. Draco wasn't there yet so she just started cleaning. She wondered how he would know when everyone left. She heard footsteps behind her and she prayed it wasn't a teacher. It wasn't. Draco was standing there in a dress shirt and slacks.

"You've changed." She was extremely happy to see him. The drinks she had made her feelings more intense.

"Well you look so nice I thought I might as well too." He walked over to the bar and picked out a bottle of firewhisky. She grabbed a glass of champagne and walked over to him. Under the sunset, they started to drink. It was well into the night but the ceiling had been bewitched to look like the sun hadn't gone down yet. It set a special kind of mood in the room.

"Here, have a shot." He handed her the bottle. She was slow to take it from him. She preferred drinks like butterbeer and hadn't experimented with anything stronger than that. She grasped the neck and took a swig. It burned from her lips to the bottom of her stomach as she swallowed. She closed her eyes shut and felt as if she was going to be sick.

"Woah Granger, you barely started drinking." he grabbed the bottle from her and let her calm down before he took a shot. He handled it a lot better than she did. She laughed at his nonchalant reaction. Her eyes were still watering and her mascara bleed like watercolors down her cheek. He raised his hand to her cheek and wiped the tear away. "You look beautiful tonight." He pulled her closer to kiss her. His lips tasted like the firewhisky she just managed to get rid of. It didn't bother her though. It simply added to the experience. She reached for his neck kissing him back. She has never experienced anything like this before. She has never felt anything like this before. She opened her mouth wider trying to taste all of him. Even though he tasted like fire, his lips were still cold.

He broke away and looked at her with his sharp gray eyes and held out a hand offering a dance. She accepted it and followed him into the middle of the dancefloor. The whiskey had just started warming her up and she started to blush. He spun her around before pulling her close. They danced to the slow song playing and held onto each other. Her grip was soft but his was so firm. He held her waist like he was afraid she was going to slip away.

"I bet Cormac didn't give you a dance like this." he spun her around again showing her he was actually quite a fine dancer.

"We didn't get to dance. I spent the whole night avoiding him." She laughed at her antics.

"Good, because I would've killed him if he got too close to you." He talked as if she was her property. He wanted her to be his and his only. It was the first time he felt love and the last he'll ever need. She was the only thing that mattered to him at that time. Hermione was dismayed by his response. She forgot he could be so brutal. She kind of liked it though. Having someone wanting to protect her. They continued dancing. They didn't say another word. They just held each other. Hermione looked up at the clock. It was almost 2 am.

"We better get out of here before we get caught being out too late." He had to agree. He had already been caught enough for one night.

"I'll walk you to your common room." Hermione had no idea he was such a gentleman. They walked the hallways cautiously trying to avoid anyone who might have been awake. They approached the painting of the fat lady. It felt so early but he promised he would bring her to her door. He wanted to take her to his but that was too risky.

"Goodnight Hermione." That was the first time he had called her by her first name and it felt good. It took her by surprise. She had never heard him call her that before. She smiled at him.

"Goodnight Draco." she went through the portrait door. Draco just stood there until she was gone. She left ages ago but he still had butterflies.

Chapter Text

It was well after Christmas break and all of the students had returned to Hogwarts. Draco found himself in the room of requirement again trying out another test on the cabinet. Every time he did he realized he was getting closer to the day when it would have to happen. He felt as if he had been watched so he left for the Great Hall. It was almost time for dinner.

When he arrived he noticed that Harry was talking to Katie Bell. The girl he had accidentally hexed as an attempt to get to Dumbledore. Harry knew he knew it was him. He ran out of the room hoping Harry wouldn't follow him. Sure enough, he did. Draco ran faster. He ran into the bathroom and tried not to have a panic attack. The amount of stress he was under was finally getting to him.

He just started to cry when Harry walked through the door. He told him he knew it was him who hexed Katie Bell. Draco knew they fought that night but everything was a blur. He hardly remembered anything as he woke up in the hospital wing. He had been injured pretty badly by him.

***

Hermione made her way to the library. She was excited to see Draco. He was all she thought about over the break. As she walked up to their table, she quickly noticed he wasn't there. It wasn't like him to be late. She asked Madam Pince if she knew where he was. She had known for the past several months she had been tutoring him so she wasn't surprised Hermione was asking.

"I heard he was in the Hospital Wing. It sounds like he got into a disagreement with another student."
Hermione knew it was Harry who had done it; she just didn't know how bad it was.

"Thanks," she said and left the library. She debated whether or not to go see him. She didn't want to risk being seen with him anywhere else but the library. She decided she would go later that night.

Draco laid in his hospital bed. They must have given him something to ease the pain because he felt completely numb. He couldn't feel his body and barely any emotion. He was grateful. He wanted to figure out what they gave him so he could take it all the time.

As the potion started wearing off he started to think. Why did Potter have to spoil everything? He thought about his mission and with Harry intervening he lost faith that he could go through with it. He wanted to sleep but his thoughts kept him up. He heard the door open and hoped it would be Madam Pomfrey there to give him more of that medicine.

By the sound of the footsteps, he knew it wasn't. As much as he wanted to see her, he didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't want her to think he was as pathetic as he felt. She walked up to his bed. He pretended to be asleep. Maybe she would just leave and not want to bother him.

"I know you're awake Draco." He cursed her for finding out. He wasn't in the mood to talk to her right now. "How are you feeling?" She looked worried. She was worried. Never in her life had she thought she would care about Draco so much.

"I'm feeling better now that you're here." He couldn't resist flirting with her. She made him feel safe. She smiled at him and held his hand. "I don't remember what happened." They stared at each other in silence. He would never get tired of looking into her eyes. She looked so inviting and he didn't know why he said it. "I need to tell you something." He wanted to take back his words but he was too late. He didn't want to tell her, but if he didn't she would find out on her own.

"What is it?" She wanted it to be good news but from the look on his face, it wasn't. He didn't say anything else. He just reached for his shirt sleeve and started rolling it up. He revealed his Death Eater mark for a second then quickly rolled his sleeve back down.

Hermione's eyes began to flood with tears. Harry was right about everything and she chose not to believe it. She knew why she didn't. She thought Draco and her had a good thing and she didn't want to let anything ruin it. Draco watched the tears stream down her face. He felt terrible but didn't want to tell her anything but the truth.

"I didn't choose this Hermione, he chose me." He felt the need to tell her everything but he couldn't. He told her it was him who hexed Katie Bell. He told her about Dumbledore but he didn't tell her about the cabinet. He didn't want her to know that the main reason for this was to kill her best friend and he was helping.

"No, you can't!" She was furious with him. With herself for getting too close to him. "Don't you understand how serious this is?" He understood more than she knew. He understood why he had to do it. Draco started to sob. Hermione had never seen him like this. Perhaps she would attempt to talk him out of it later but as of right now she wanted him to stop crying.

She crawled into his bed with him and cradled him in her arms. She didn't have to shush him for long until he had calmed down. She had that effect on him. She somehow could feel at home when he was in a living hell. She wiped the tears from his face and looked down on him. She lifted his chin with her fingertips and kissed him. his lips tasted salty but she didn't know if it was from his tears or hers. He grabbed the back of her head nearly pulling out her hair and kissed her harder. He now knew what Hermione meant when she talked about passion that day in the library. Except it wasn't about books, it was about her.

He took control and rolled her over so he was on top. He was still in pain but he didn't mind. He was finally getting what he wanted all year. She was finally his. He caressed her waist and lifted her so he could get between her legs. He went from kissing her lips to her neck. She practically melted in his arms. He was almost biting her collarbone as he pushed himself onto her. She could feel the hardness of him on her thigh.

She held on tightly to him. She often thought about this moment but her imagination couldn't live up to this. He felt so good on top of her. Their bodies fit perfectly together. His hands went up her shirt and he started to feel her breast. They were just like he had imagined them to be. They were firm but soft and squishy to the touch. They were also warm. Really warm. A warmness he hadn't felt in his entire life.

She flinched as his cold hand went under her bra. "Is this okay?" Of course, it was, she couldn't think of anything she wanted more although she was flattered that he had checked in. She took off her shirt giving him more access and he did the same. He went back to grinding on her and she wrapped her legs around him feeling his full-length rub against her. Their chests were pressed together and he was appreciating the way her body warms him up. He unhooked her bra revealing her full chest. He stopped to admire it before he went down to kiss and squeeze them. He had enough foreplay. It was agonizing to wait to be inside of her. He pulled off her skirt and pulled down his pants. He wanted to take her right then but he couldn't stop but stare at her. The moonlight seeping through the window made her body illuminate.

"You are so fucking sexy. I've wanted this for a long time." Hermione giggled, feeling slightly embarrassed of her exposed body. "And if that doesn't turn you on, I'll keep talking until something does."

"Shut up and take me Malfoy." She didn't want to waste another second. She was just as eager as he was.

He felt like a kid on Christmas opening a present as he slid off her underwear. She shivered as a cold breeze hit her there. Draco took off his own and spread her legs. She was quite shocked at the size of him. This made her even more excited. He slowly guided himself into her which caught her off guard. She didn't expect him to be so gentle. He pushed himself into her until he couldn't anymore. Then, he started going in and out picking up the pace.

Hermione's face flushed as she grabbed him and brought him closer. Her heart rate increased as he hit the right spot every time he went back in. a force of pleasure came over her as she climaxed. Shortly after her, he finished as well. He stopped to catch his breath before he took it out of her.
He laid down beside her naked body. He was holding her like she was gold. He felt as if the future would be nothing without her and he knew that's exactly the way it was going to be in the end. Without her.

He dozed off as she got up. He knew she couldn't stay and he was okay with that. Soon he would feel all better and he would get her back. She got dressed and kissed his forehead before she left the room. He never felt happier than he did at that moment.

Chapter Text

A few days later Draco was released from the Hospital. He couldn't wait to get out and go back to class. I couldn't wait to pretend that everything was back to normal. He went about his class avoiding Harry at all costs. That was the hardest part of his day. It would all get better as soon as he saw her again.

Right after class, he headed for the library. They ran into each other on the way there. It seemed like neither of them could wait to see each other. They sat down and got to work. Hermione has been thinking about his situation with the Dark Lord and wanted him to not go through with it.

"Have you put any thought into what you're going to do about Dumbledore?" She had to whisper so nobody would know that she knew about the plan.

"What I'm going to do? Hermione, I already told you what I have to do." He was screaming in a whisper.

"You can't be serious. If you go through with this, I don't think we can be together." Her heart was breaking.

"Do you have any idea what he will do to me if I don't do it? If he finds out why I didn't do it? Do you think you're the only one who's afraid?" she waited for him to answer his questions. "They'll kill me and they'll kill you too." His words were cold. She knew he was serious. "So if you don't want to be murdered, then I guess we can't be together. It never would've worked out anyway." his own words broke him. If he didn't have to, he would be with her but he knew that wasn't an option.

"We will talk about this later." She left before she let herself cry. She almost started running down the hallway before she saw Professor Dumbledore enter the hallway. She tried her best to avoid eye contact with him. She felt guilty about what she knew was going to happen to him.

"Hello Miss Granger, why are we in such a hurry?"

"Sorry sir, I've got to go to the loo.'' It was the first excuse she could think of. As she walked past him she noticed his hand was all black. She knew immediately that it was some kind of curse. Was Draco already killing him? She would research it later but as of right now she just wanted to be in bed.

***

Draco felt horrible about last night. Why did she have to bring it up? He thought of ways to distract her so he could get her alone one last time before he had to perform his task. One more night alone to tell her he loved her. What happened after that would be obvious.

He came up with a great idea. Before he was released from the hospital he had stolen something from the potion cabinet. He was going to use it for himself as he had a lot more free time since his tests in the room of requirement were done but he supposed he could share.

Hermione had done her research about the condition of Dumbledore's hand. She had figured out what would happen whether Draco would go through with murdering him or not. At this point, there was no convincing him otherwise. She drug herself to potions class feeling overwhelmed with what she had just learned. She went to her cauldron and picked up her book. When she opened it a little piece of paper fell out.

Meet me at the Black Lake tonight. We can talk then
- D

She turned around to find him after she read the note. He gave her a quick smile and went back to his potion. After what she found out she desperately needed to talk to him. She was glad he came through first.

***

Once the sun had set, Hermione sneaked out. She went to Black Lake and saw Draco was already there. He was eating something. She sat down next to him. She was freezing but she pretended that she was warm.

"What are those?"

"Here, try one." She only trusted him because he was eating them too. She took one. It looked like a mushroom of some sort. She popped it in her mouth and started to eat it. It was chewy and bitter. Draco was eating them as if they were crisps.

"Yuck!" she spit it out on the grass.

"You're supposed to swallow them or they won't work." Draco laughed at her.

"What are those?" she wiped her chin and made a disgusted face.

"They're magic mushrooms." he wiggled his fingers playfully in an attempt to spook her. "Hallucinogens. If you eat enough of them you start to see cool things. Patterns and whatnot."

"You want me to take psychedelics with you?" Hermione has never done drugs before but something about the way he was looking at her made her want to.

"It'll be fun. It's a perfect night." he was always so convincing. She reached into the bag and grabbed a couple not knowing the right dosage. She choked them down while he ate them without making a face. Once they were all gone they just sat there.

"How long before they take effect?"

"A couple of minutes." They sat in silence staring at the water together. They watched the water rise and fade back down for a while. Hermione's thoughts raced when she remembered there was something they needed to talk about.

"Draco, I have to-" she looked up at his face which was slightly distorted and moving on its own. His eyes were especially pretty to her. They hypnotized her as she lost her train of thought. He smiled, creeping her out a bit.

"Starting to feel it?" His voice sounded funny to her. Extremely funny. She busted out laughing and so did he. They laughed uncontrollably for a good five minutes before they finally calmed down.

She looked around. The lake was more beautiful than it had ever been before. The moon mirrored off of it, making it glow. The grass was so soft she felt like if she lay down she would fall right through it.

"This is pretty cool." she was unfamiliar with her voice as she spoke. She felt so relaxed and happy. She couldn't get enough of what she was seeing. She was so focused on the lake she didn't even feel Draco touch her hand. He didn't feel it either. As soon as he touched her their skin melted together. He looked at her while she looked at the lake. She was so mesmerized by the whole experience.

Her skin sparkled and the color of her flesh was Draco's new favorite color. He soon changed it to the color of her hair. Next, it was the color of her robes that she wore so well. Then, he quickly changed it to her eyes as soon as she looked at him. He never knew he would like the color brown so much. They were magnetic. The dusky tone looked like fresh coffee in the morning after you put in the cream but before you stirred it. The longer he looked the more he realized they weren't just brown. There was gold in there too, and green, and red, and amber. He didn't know there were so many colors in there.

She wanted to finish the sentence she tried to start but knew now wasn't the time. What she wanted to do was kiss him. She felt his stare for quite some time and when she turned to look at him it intensified. It was as if she was a lab rat and he was studying her every move.

His eyes were mysterious. They were dark gray around the edges and got lighter the closer she got to his pupil. It was more blue than gray. The ring around him reminded her of the color of the lake she had just been admiring. The inner part looked like freshly fallen snow on cobblestone. They looked as cold as he always felt. When she looked into his deep black pupils she felt as if she had been hexed and she couldn't look away. He just stared back.

She thought his eyes were getting bigger but then realized he was just getting closer. He closed her eyes. As soon as their lips met she felt as if they were one. They exchanged energies back and forth and she felt every single spark. She felt as if they weren't humans anymore. Like they didn't have bodies. It was just their souls connecting. He let go and she felt the bond break.

"You're so beautiful." he started to lay her down on the grass. She was still scared she would sink but she didn't. He looked deep into her eyes. "This is the end of the world and you and I should spend it together in love."

She paid no mind to the other words. "Love?" They both sat up. He hoped she wouldn't question him about this.

"Yeah, and so what if I love you? It's not like it will matter. in a couple of months, we will all be gone." she didn't know what he meant by that last part.

"I'm sorry, I just never thought you would say that."

"Don't act so surprised. I practically plan my days just so I can run into you in the hallway." she knew he meant it but she didn't say it back. Instead, she just kissed him. Harder than she ever had before. It had felt as if she had just won a medal. He broke it off and pulled out his wand. He shot it to the sky and brought down five balls of light and made them dance above them.

"I hope you like the stars I stole for you." he knew he was in love with her for a long time and it felt good to finally tell her. To show her.

He kissed her again and they laid down once more. She was in complete awe of him. She couldn't wait to feel their souls connect again. He pulled off his shirt revealing his chiseled abs and a few scars he had gotten from Harry. The moon painted his body blue and he bent back down to kiss her more.

He helped her with her shirt and did what he had done before. He kissed from her lips to her neck down to her chest. His breath was warm on her cold breasts. He nuzzled his face back into her neck as he spread her legs with his hips. His face was cold on her but she didn't mind. She liked it when he couldn't keep warm.

He didn't bother with her skirt and took her underwear off. He quickly unbuckled his pants and slid himself into her. She felt so nice. So warm and wet. He wasn't sure how long he would be able to last this time. Then he felt it. The same feeling she got when they kissed. He felt the connection as if their two souls were one. The sensation was overwhelming and he couldn't contain himself anymore. He jerked himself out before he could come.

"What's wrong? She sat up to comfort him.

"Nothing. That was great. I just need a little break." he spread her legs again but didn't go back in. instead he went down. He kissed her from her lips to the bottom of her stomach. He pulled up her skirt and wrapped his arms around her legs. He spread open her up with his tongue. She tasted like sex but it was sweet. He licked her up and down and she moaned. She gave in to the pleasure and didn't try to be quiet at all. He then slid two ice-cold fingers into her and began penetrating. She spasmed as she was about to peak. Her legs were shaking as she finally released herself.

He didn't let her catch her breath before thrusting himself into her again. She wanted to scream but nothing came out. He watched her eyes roll into the back of her head. That was enough for him to climax inside of her. he laid there panting on her not bothering to get up. It wasn't until he felt her goosebumps that he collected himself and their clothing. He gave her shirt to her and put his back on.

"I don't think I can do it." He talked to her while they got dressed. "If I'm going to lose you can't go through with it. You're far more important."

"If you care about me you will do it." He was surprised to hear her say that.

"What?"

"You told me that if you don't do it then he will kill you. I can't let that happen." She finished buttoning her shirt and sat on the grass. He sat next to her. "I need to tell you something," Hermione told him about what she found out about Dumbledore's hand.

"It will happen whether you're the one to kill him or not. If you don't want to die, I suggest you do it." he didn't know if she was telling the truth or not. Was she just trying to protect him?

"And what if I chicken out. What if I can't kill him." she didn't want to answer that. She knew she would be too much of a distraction for him so she came up with a plan.

"I can obliviate you." she offered. "If I do that then you won't have to think about me when you do it."

"Obliviate me? Are you mad? Do you want to erase every memory we have shared? How could you even think to do that?" he was furious with her proposal. "Without you, there is no me."

"It's the best I can do Draco. I don't want you to die." tears welled up in her eyes. "It's not like I want to.

"What if I can't forget you?" she didn't respond. She stood up and helped him up from the ground. They walked back to the castle holding hands until they reached the doors.

Chapter Text

Tonight was the night. The Death Eaters were already in the castle. Draco had to go to the astronomy tower soon. Hermione was worried about him. She watched him leave the Room of Requirement and walk down the hall. He stopped when he saw her. He ran up to her and hugged her tightly.

"I've been thinking about it, Hermione. Your offer. I feel like if you don't do it I won't be able to go through with it." she understood. When she pulled out her wand he stopped her.

"Wait. I want to hold you one more time." they embraced each other and he kissed her for the last time. He closed his eyes and stood before her. "Well? What are you waiting for? Go on." She pulled her wand out again.

"I wish I didn't have to do this but I'm glad you understand the consequences if I don't." she held her want to his temple. He opened his eyes.

"I guess I never should've loved you." a tear streamed down his face.

"I will love you forever because you loved me." she finally said it back. She waited a few moments before casting the spell.

He felt his vision fade to black as every memory he had of them vanished from his head. Every conversation. All the times they spent in the library together were gone. She cried as she watched the spell take over. The last memory that left was the night of the Christmas party. The song they danced to played as the memory slowly faded away.
He opened his eyes and saw Hermione standing in front of him.

"What the hell are you doing here Granger?" the spell worked. "Get out of here before you get into trouble!"

Hermione walked away trembling. She knew what was going to happen next. She hid behind the columns and sobbed. The pain she felt was overwhelming. She lost him as soon as he lost his memory.

Draco walked up the stairs of the tower and got out his wand. He saw the man he was about to murder and raised it. He was terrified but relieved they were the only ones there. Dumbledore talked to him with that wise voice he always had. He made Draco lower his wand but not stand down. He felt weaker and weaker the more the Professor ridiculed him. Dumbledore rose his wand.

"Expelliarmus." Draco disarmed the gray wizard not knowing what that meant for him.
Dumbledore interrogated him about his scheme. He seemed impressed with him.
"You don't understand. I have to kill you.." Draco's eyes welled up with tears. All he wanted was to get out of there. He knew he was a coward. "Or he's going to kill me." he began to cry.

The other Death Eaters arrived and began to encourage him to do it. He couldn't bring himself to. He never performed that spell before and he didn't want to. He stood there frozen. Snape came forward unexpectedly. Draco lowered his wand out of surprise.

"Avada Kedavra," Snape spoke, sending Dumbledore falling off the tower. Draco stood there in shock. He couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. They all left the tower, Draco still crying. It was over. He followed the Death Eaters to the Great Hall but let them leave.

***

Hermione followed a bunch of students outside where there had been a lot of commotion. She knew what happened. She felt almost proud of Draco for going through with it. It meant he was still alive. Then she saw it. Dumbledore's lifeless body. All she heard were screams and all she felt was pain. She was devastated but couldn't bring herself to cry.
All of the students began to raise their wands. She did too, out of respect. She felt her soul leave her body as the end of her wand lit up. They stood there forever in silence before any of them left. She feared that was the end of Hogwarts and that whatever would happen next would be more dangerous than she'd ever imagine.

The professors dismissed the students to get their things. It was time for them to leave Hogwarts for rest of the year. Hermione went with Harry and Ron to the Astrology tower to talk to him about what had happened. She questioned him about Draco. Harry told her that he wasn't the one who did it and that it was Snape. A part of her knew he wouldn't do it. After getting to know Draco the way she did, he would never do something like that.

"We better get our things and go. I can't stand to be here another second." Harry was far more upset than she was. He didn't know the whole truth. They headed back to the corridors to pack.

"I left some things in the library, I'll catch up with you guys later." She made her way down. She took this opportunity to take a few library books home with her for the summer. Ones she couldn't get anywhere else.

Draco knew he had to get out of Hogwarts. The task was done but the war had only just begun. He knew that Voldemort wasn't done with him yet. He ran down the hallways but something made him slow down. He stopped in the library doorway and saw Hermione stacking up books. He thought it was funny seeing her in the library at a time like this but he wasn't surprised. She was always there.

TO BE CONTINUED...