Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The steps up to the loft creak under Levi’s feet as he makes his way to his new home. This time last year, he would never have imagined that he’d be back working on a ranch. He thought he had left those roots behind. But things never turn out quite like you expect them to, and his last bank statement told him he couldn’t turn down a paying job.

He opens the door to the loft and his heart drops. When his new boss told him the loft apartment had been vacant for a few years, he had braced himself, but the amount of dust coating every surface is like something out of a nightmare. At least the tell-tale signs of a barn cat mean that the vermin would have been kept in check. Levi heaves a sigh and places his duffle bag and backpack in a corner out of the way. It’s lucky that his first day on the job isn’t officially until tomorrow, because it’s going to take the rest of today just to make this place livable again.

In no time at all, Levi scrounges up assorted cleaning supplies from the barn downstairs to supplement the paltry inventory he found under the loft’s bathroom sink. He dons his bandana, an apron, some rubber gloves, and gets to work.

Several hours later finds the loft looking fit for human habitation, if not quite up to Levi’s standard of cleanliness. But he’d have time in the coming weeks to really get it sparkling. It would do for now. Besides, he’d run out of bleach. He’s only just sat down at the table with a glass of water when he hears thundering feet on the stairs. A moment later a young woman bursts into the loft, her messy brown hair doing everything it can to escape her ponytail and her glasses slightly askew. They stare at each other for a moment. Finally, Levi motions with his hand.

“Come on in,” he says.

She straightens out her glasses. “Thanks. Guess I should have knocked. Erwin didn’t think you were here yet,” she says.

Levi doesn’t reply, just takes a sip of his water, wondering who the hell this woman is. As if on cue she marches over to him, hand outstretched. “I’m Hange, by the way. Hange Zoe.”

Levi takes her hand and gives it a firm shake. “Levi.”

“Levi...?”

“Just Levi is fine,” he says.

She smirks. “Okay. I’ll just call you Mr. Clean then, shall I?”

Levi rolls his eyes. The evidence of his cleaning spree is on the table and he’s still wearing his bandana and apron, with the rubber gloves on the table beside him. He doesn’t deem her jab worthy of a response, however, so he just takes another sip of water.

She smiles. “Well, anyway. Erwin wanted me to come up here and spruce the place up for you, but you’ve beaten me to it, it seems.” She walks over and takes a seat at the table. “So,” she says conversationally, “where’re ya from?”

Levi’s a bit taken aback by this woman and her blunt, forward personality. Normally, when asked any personal questions, he just defects them. But she’s caught him off guard, and he finds himself answering, “East coast most recently,” before he can stop himself.

“Long way from home then. I grew up around here. I’m Erwin’s neighbour actually, but I work for him in the summers when I’m not in school.”

Levi just stares. Hange returns the stare, completely unperturbed by the awkward situation.

The seconds stretch on, and just when Levi is beginning to feel uncomfortable, Hange gets to her feet. “Well, it was absolutely delightful meeting you.” She strides over to the stairs and makes a little bow as she leaves. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Clean.”

Levi stares after her for a while. Hange Zoe would be interesting company this summer, of that he was sure.

Even after years of early mornings, Levi still finds 6 AM to be an ungodly hour. But that’s the time they start work at Rafter 104 Ranch. Across the yard from the barn is an old machine shop, the unofficial base of operations for the ranch. Part of the building is still used to house every tool you could think of, but the rest has been renovated to be a halfway decent lunchroom complete with a washroom and a kitchenette.

Levi walks into the building and sees Erwin there already, sipping coffee at the table and making a list of tasks for the day. Beside him, looking like she just rolled out of bed, is Hange.

“Levi. Good morning,” says Erwin. He gestures to Hange, “This is -”

“We met yesterday,” says Hange groggily.

“Perfect, that saves some time. I’m going to go feed the cows. Levi, Hange’ll show you the horses. There are twelve colts there, so you’ve got your work cut out for you.” Erwin downs the rest of his coffee and gets to his feet, patting Levi on the shoulder as he walks by.

Hange meanwhile has perked up a bit and is looking at Levi with renewed interest. “You’re going to be working with the colts?”

“Yes.”

“Huh. Erwin mentioned there would be a horse trainer coming this summer, but I didn’t think it was you.”

Levi raises his eyebrows, and she immediately backpedals, though it doesn’t sound sincere. “I mean, of course it’s you, why wouldn’t it be you. Horse trainer extraordinaire: Mr. Clean.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “Ha ha. You gonna show me these horses or not?”

She jumps to her feet and marches past him to the door. As she goes by he hears her mumble under her breath, “Just thought you’d be taller is all.”

Levi satisfies himself with glaring at the back of her head, somewhat higher than his own, as he follows her out of the shop.

A dozen colts mill about a small corral. Levi and Hange are both sitting on the top rail of the fence watching them. For Levi, this is an important part of starting young horses; seeing how they interact with each other, figuring out their personalities, and deciding what techniques will work for each individual horse. It’s a motley crew he’s got to work with; lots of colour, and extremes in height on both ends of the spectrum, from the pixie-like little grey mare, to a brown awkward-looking mammoth of a gelding. He immediately picks out his favourites: a solid blood bay gelding, and a tall black mare. They seem to have vastly different personalities, but Levi likes the look of them, plenty of potential there.

Hange had remained notably quiet while Levi did his evaluation. But he could feel her eyes going from him to the horses and back again repeatedly. She’s bursting to ask him something, but he remains silent, pretending to still be focused on the horses for a few more minutes. Possibly because she’d called him short, he waits until she’s about to explode before breaking the silence.

“What,” he says.

“Which is your favourite?” she asks in a rush.

“I don’t pick favourites.”

“But if you had to. If someone said, ‘Levi you can have one of these horses,’ which would you take?”

“I’d take that blood bay.”

“Yes!” Hange throws her arms in the air and almost falls off the fence in celebration, spooking two colts, a grullo and a blue roan, who had been snuffling curiously at Levi's boots.

“That’s my horse,” she explains, recovering her position on the fence as if nothing happened.

“And why am I starting your horse. Erwin hired me to start his horses.”

“Well, Hunter is technically still Erwin’s but I’m going to convince him to sell.”

Levi almost smiles, but not quite. “I see. Well, the whole bunch looks good, but - Hunter, was it? Hunter’s got a bit of fire in him, you can see it in his eye.”

“So are you gonna start him first then?” asks Hange.

“Nope,” says Levi jumping down from the fence and heading back to the barn. “I’ll work with him last. That way I have something to look forward to.”

“Ah, saving the best for last, a ‘no dessert first’ philosophy from Mr. Clean,” says Hange as she jumps down after him and sets off to do her own tasks.

All the colts turn out to be pretty damn nice. Levi brings them into the barn in groups to brush and feed and get them used to being handled. Then he takes them one by one into the round pen where he sets the foundation of what they’ll need to know before working under saddle. How to move away from pressure, moving forwards, sideways, backing up. Very basic maneuvers. A few horses turn out to be more impressive than he expected: that monstrously tall brown gelding, a stout palomino gelding, and a fiery little blaze-faced sorrel mare.

The shadows are starting to get long when Levi leads the last two colts into the barn, his two favourites, the tall black mare, and Hunter. He takes the mare to the round pen first, and it’s immediately apparent that she’s a star, outshining all the others with her athleticism. But she’s also a bit stubborn, slow to trust, and more than a little herd-bound. But those are minor complaints.

Finally, he brings in Hunter. Levi’s a bit disappointed when it becomes obvious he’s not near as talented as the black mare, but he makes up for it ten times over with sheer try. No matter what Levi asks, the young horse makes an attempt, his attention always focused on Levi. Now that makes for a nice horse. It doesn’t matter if they have the ability to jump the moon if they aren’t willing to take their feet off the ground.

Levi adjusts his posture, inviting the horse to come to the centre of the pen where he’s standing with the halter. It’s the greatest feeling in the world, to have a horse trot willingly up to you and want to be there. Levi smiles as he gently rubs the horse’s forehead.

“Wow, you’re smiling. Hunter really must be something.”

Levi looks over to see Hange leaning on the fence. She’s been doing her own thing all day, but she’d stop by and watch for a few minutes now and then. Levi puts the halter back on Hunter and leads him over to her.

“He’s not the most talented of the bunch, but he’s got the most heart.”

“Are any of them gonna buck you down when you go to ride them?” she asks mischievously.

Levi rolls his eyes. “Stranger things have happened, but I wouldn’t bet on it. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.”

She smiles. “I kinda figured. Well, if you’re done with all the colts, we can crack the gate and let them out into the river pasture for the night.”

Together they lead Hunter back to the corral. As Levi turns him loose, Hange crosses to the far side to unchain the gate separating them from seemingly endless acres of open prairie.

“Come on, guys! The green grass is calling!” she shouts as she throws the gate wide open.

The horses mill about a bit until two of the goofier colts wander tentatively out. It’s like a switch goes off. Once they realize they can leave, all the other horses bolt for the gate, bucking and snorting, kicking up dirt and dust as they fly by Hange and out to the rolling hills beyond. Levi leans on the fence, halter still in hand and watches them run. There’s nothing more beautiful than a herd of horses at full gallop, even a slightly uncoordinated herd of youngsters.

“What’d you do to those horses? They’re sure in a hurry to get the hell out of here!”

Hange strolls up to the fence, a walking disaster; she’s covered in the dirt the horses kicked up as they ran by. Dirt and something else -

“You’ve got shit on your glasses.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Thanks, Mr. Clean,” she laughs.

“No problem, Shitty Glasses.”

Things might not have turned out how he expected, but he had no cause to complain. The wide-open prairie, a bunch of fantastic horses, and some very interesting company. Levi almost wants to smile as Hange walks with him back to the barn, chatting away, wiping her glasses off on her shirt.

Chapter Text

The days blur together, dawn and dusk taking on similar dream-like quality until Levi can hardly distinguish one from the other. After a month, the routine at Rafter 104 becomes kind of cathartic, the monotony an old friend, comfortable and reassuring.

Until today.

It was at Erwin's insistence that Levi takes a few days off. But now, even if he doesn't have to be up, Levi finds himself wide awake at five-thirty. He lays there for a few moments, a part of his brain tells him he could just roll over and go back to sleep. Another part of his brain tells him he can sleep when he's dead. He heaves a great sigh and winces as his feet hit the cold floor.

By six, he's showered, dressed, and enjoying the dregs of his breakfast, trying to make his tea last as long as possible to avoid having to find something to do for the rest of the day.

Thundering feet on the stairs to the loft announce the imminent arrival of Hange. Levi quickly abandons his tea and makes for the door, opening it a second before Hange can throw herself against it. The result is satisfying. Hange barrels into the room like a freight train, nearly kissing the floorboards when she fails to meet the resistance she had been expecting. She turns on Levi once she regains her balance, giving him the look of one betrayed. A ghost of a smile plays across Levi's face and he shrugs at her silent accusation.

"Have a care, Four-eyes," he says, "I could have been sleeping."

"That was the point, an early morning wake-up call, just for you!" she claps her hands together. "But whatever, you're already awake, which just means we can hit the road right away!"

Levi gives her a hard look, and she puts her hands up.

"Maybe we've only known each other a little while, but I'm willing to bet you won't actually take a day off unless we get you off the property. So, Erwin's orders. We're going on a day trip."

Hange and Erwin do not need to know that yes, Levi had been planning on working with the colts today, day off or not. But leaving the property for a few hours might be kind of nice, too.

"I suppose I can fit a little excursion into my schedule. Where're we going?" He asks as he moves to collect his wallet and hat.

"Ah, well that's a surprise now isn't it."

Levi rolls his eyes, a movement that's almost second nature to him now whenever he's talking to Hange. "Of course it is."

He follows her out of the loft and across the yard towards his dusty old pickup truck. As they pass the corrals, he glances at the gate to the pasture where the colts are huddled, waiting to be let in.

Hange spots them too and chuckles as she calls out to them. "Sorry ponies! It's about time you shared Levi with the rest of us!"

She laughs again as she climbs into the passenger seat as Levi, shaking his head, climbs in behind the wheel.

After about 80km of secondary highways and backcountry roads, Levi begins to wonder if he should’ve just stayed in bed.

"Where are we going again?" he asks for the dozenth time. Like all the times before, he's not expecting an answer, but it's been a while since they last passed another car, and the radio static is grating on his ears.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be fun I promise." She doesn't bother to even look up from her phone, where she's checking a map or texting or plotting his murder or something, her feet planted on the dash.

"I'm not worried," he says, but Hange's not really listening.

The radio gives a loud screech and Levi reaches over and shuts it off.

"Hey, I liked that song," says Hange absently.

"I bet you did," he says. Hange finally looks up at his caustic tone.

"Gosh, Levi. Didn't realize you were such an attention whore."

"What-?"

"So," she cuts him off, turning her full attention towards him. "How are your colts doing?"

"Fine."

"You name them all yet?"

"More or less."

They lapse into silence: Levi, sullen and unwilling to elaborate; Hange, contemplative and seemingly unaware of Levi's foul mood.

"They are doing well aren't they," she comments after a while.

"They're doing well because they've been worked consistently, a little every day for the last month," says Levi. "I should be working them today, but no. Instead, I'm driving you around the countryside en route to God knows where."

"Oh lighten up. A few days off will do everyone a load of good, she says punching him lightly in the arm. "Take your next left.”

Levi turns onto another back road. They drive on for a few minutes when they pass a sign that says BIG SKY RODEO GROUNDS 10 KM. Levi takes his foot off the gas and looks at Hange.

"Hange. Where are we going." It's no longer a question.

"It was going to be a surprise, but if you're going to be a baby about it, fine. We're going to the Big Sky Rodeo and Fair. I haven't been since I was- hey!"

Levi brakes, maybe a little harder than necessary, stopping right in the middle of the road.

"You forget something or what?" Hange asks.

"Nope. We're just going back is all," Levi says perfectly calm.

"What? No! I've been planning on going all year!"

"Well, you should have planned to go alone," says Levi, ramming his truck into reverse. "I don't do rodeos."

"It's not just a rodeo, Levi, come on!" Hange is almost begging now. "You don't have to watch the rodeo even, just hang out in the midway or whatever. We're practically there already."

Levi backs into the approach for a hay field, he reaches for the stick to shift into first, but Hange intercepts him.

"Come on, Levi, please? I haven't been to Big Sky for years, not since my grandpa used to take me. You know, my grandpa who's dead? You wouldn't want to tarnish those innocent childhood memories with your dick move, would you?"

Levi stares at her. "Hange. What the hell."

She gives him her best puppy dog eyes, which are admittedly pretty good, even with those shitty glasses on.

He clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Then he relaxes, completely deflated. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s an out-of-the-way rodeo. Chances are slim he’ll run into anyone he used to know.

"Fine."

As soon as they pull into the rodeo grounds Levi wants nothing more than to turn around, to escape back to the ranch. But there’s nothing for it now. Hange leaps out of the truck almost before they’re completely stopped. Levi on the other hand takes as long as he can, putting the brake on, shutting off the ignition, and tucking his keys safely in his pocket. He takes off his hat and replaces it with an old baseball cap he keeps stashed under the seat.

He's dusting off the dash and thinking about maybe washing the windows when Hange bounds back over.

"Levi! Come on already," she says, a little exasperated. "At least pretend to be a little excited. You'll have a good time, I guarantee it!"

"Unlikely," he says quietly, but lets Hange drag him in the direction of the fair anyway.

Truth be told, it's not as horrible as he thought it would be. It's been at least five years since he was last at any kind of rodeo, and while he does steer clear of the arenas and barns, he'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't miss the atmosphere. There’s an energy at these kinds of events that is unlike anything else. Of course, he doesn't let Hange know any of this. She's bouncing around, dragging him from the Ferris Wheel to the exhibition hall, oblivious to her companion's apparent lack of enthusiasm.

Around noon they pick up a couple of greasy midway burgers, the kind that only taste good because you're at a fair, and find themselves a vacant picnic table in the shade. Levi can't help but feel content. Hange is rambling on about any number of things: the midway rides, going back to school in the fall, a sorting coming up. Levi half listens, nodding in all the right places, while his other half continues to soak up the atmosphere of the rodeo. He's almost convinced himself that maybe watching the bulldogging or the team roping might be kinda nice.

"Well look who we have here. If it isn't Levi."

Levi nearly chokes on his milkshake. He recognizes that voice, even if he hasn't heard it in years. It haunts him. His own inner voices, the ones that judge him and shut him down share that voice. He spins around in his seat to see a tall cowboy sauntering towards them, oversized spurs jingling, silver belt bucket glinting in the midday sun. When the cowboy gets to their table he puts a hand patronizingly on Levi's shoulder.

"I haven't seen you in years, son. Not since that unfortunate accident. Heard you'd quit the business since then, but here you are!" He flashes a bright white smile, stretching almost too wide for his face and severely lacking sincerity.

"Kenny," says Levi by way of greeting, giving his head a slight nod. Kenny's eyes crinkle as he takes that as an invitation to join them, swinging a leg over the picnic table’s bench. He looks, eyebrows raised, to Hange. Levi takes the hint; he's not completely uncivilized after all.

"Hange, this is Kenny Ackerman. He's on the Pro Rodeo Association's board of directors. Kenny, Hange Zoe." Hange and Kenny exchange a firm handshake, then he turns back to Levi.

"You're still something of a legend down south. Shame you gave up bull riding, but what with the accident -" Levi cuts him off with a chilling look. Hange, for once, remains silent, her eyes wide, absorbing every piece of information like a sponge.

"Well, one can hardly blame you," Kenny finishes lamely. They all three sit in awkward silence for a moment. Hange's eyes flicker from one to the other like it’s a high-stakes tennis game, absently stirring a puddle of ketchup with her last fry.

"Say, Levi. Why don't you go for a ride today? Like an exhibition. People would love it," says Kenny. Levi gives him a long hard look. This is a challenge, a test; Kenny wants to have a dick waving contest and he wants Levi to play along. More than anything, Levi wants to leave, to get back in his truck and drive to a place where no one knows him. But that would be letting Kenny win. And he can’t let Kenny win, not again.

“I’m not sure what purpose that would serve, Kenny, an old wash-up like me doing an exhibition,” says Levi carefully.

“Hardly a wash-up,” says Kenny. His tone is jovial, but there’s a dangerous glint in his eye. “The kids still talk about you, aspire to be like you one day, even.”

Something inside Levi snaps. He no longer cares if Kenny thinks he’s wimping out, or somehow less than he was all those years ago. Others might have forgiven the sins of the past, but Levi will never be able to forgive himself, and he’ll never forget.

He stands up. "Probably not the best idea, Kenny. Maybe another time,” he says sharply. “C'mon Hange." He turns away from the table, heading for the parking lot. Hange snatches up her milkshake, stuffs her last fry into her mouth, hurrying after him.

At the truck, Levi gets in without a word, fires up the engine and waits while Hange scrambles into the passenger seat. She's looking at him, eyes wide. Levi can feel her eyes on him and rolls his own.
"What."

Hange gives a great shrug and looks away. "Nothing."

"Good."

They peel out of the lot just as the rodeo announcer calls the start of the bull riding competition.

Levi would like nothing more than to spend the entire trip in silence, and while Hange seems willing to follow his lead, the problem is that the route they took to Big Sky is so convoluted that Levi has no hope of being able to replicate it on the return trip. That doesn't keep him from trying though.

When he comes to a stop in the middle of an intersection for the third time, pointedly refusing to even glance Hange's way for directions, she breaks the silence.

"You want me to drive?"

Levi stares straight ahead, watching heat waves rise off the backcountry road and giving the countryside a dreamy appearance.

"No one drives my truck except me," he answers after a few moments.

"Okay," says Hange in a reasonable voice. "I'll just start giving directions then, shall I?"

Levi rams his truck back into gear and hits the gas. "Just point or something," he says shortly.

They fly straight through the intersection. After a few moments, Hange pipes up again. "I'm not sure how to point a U-turn," she says.

Levi slams on the breaks, bringing the truck to a skidding halt.

"Dammit!" He clenches his fists and slams them against the dashboard. He hates this. Hates it more than anything. This feeling of being vulnerable. Kenny had always made him feel this way, like he owes him something, even when he was a kid, and it just got worse after everything that happened. He didn't want to feel like that around Hange, too, who had always radiated a strange kind of calm in weird contrast with her somewhat eccentric energy. He hates that he's feeling this way now, that Hange is here to see it, see his weakness. Not that it matters really. She's nothing to him. Nothing.

Hange watches Levi for a few more seconds before trying to speak.

"Look, Levi. I don't know what all is wrong, but if you want to talk about it-"

"Talk about it? Why would I talk about it with you?" His voice is icy, and his words are meant to wound. But Hange is completely unaffected by the venom in his voice.

"Because I'm listening," she shrugs.

Levi looks at her for a long moment. It's only been a couple of months, but usually that is plenty of time for him to figure someone out; uncover what it is that makes them tick. But not Hange. She's a loose cannon. Unpredictable. How is he supposed to guard against that? Why does she keep trying to wheedle her way in? Why does he let her?

He hangs his head. "Sorry, Hange. I'm an ass."

"Everyone's an ass sometimes, me included," she says indifferently.

Levi shakes his head and starts reversing down the road. "Just get us home, shitty glasses."

Chapter Text

Levi has always been indifferent to cattle at best. There was just something about their nonchalance for shitting all over themselves that didn't sit well with him. He'd always preferred being around horses, even as a child. As he grew up, he'd taken up rodeo mostly because he was good at it and could make some easy money. But while training a horse might be more time-consuming, he's always found it far more rewarding. Rafter 104 runs over 200 head of Red and Black Angus cows, but Levi was hired to work with the horses. His dream job, no cows involved.

The Big Sky Fair over the weekend has thrown him out of his groove. The only cure, he’s sure, is to get right back to work. His colts have had two whole days off; no doubt a few of the feistier ones will dish out some trouble. 
The early morning sun is struggling to break through heavy clouds when he lets the colts in the corral. He watches them closely as they shoot past him. Most seem the same, but a few have a look in their eyes he's more accustomed to seeing in rodeo rough stock. Better start with those.

He's caught up two of the mares, the super athletic black, Mica, and the little blazed face sorrel, Lynx. The names are unofficial of course. Erwin's expressed little interest in the colts aside from their overall progression, but Hange's constant refrain of "What's this one called?" made naming them less annoying than not naming them.

Five minutes in the barn tell him two days off was two days too many for these horses. Mica's tried to bite him twice already, and Lynx nearly kicked his head off when he went to pick up a hindfoot. He's about to take them both back to the round pen to refresh them on what manners are when Hange blows into the barn like a hurricane. 

"Tut tut, looks like rain!" she calls far too cheerfully. She stands in the doorway, hands on her hips, a huge shit-eating grin on her face. They both stare at each other for a few long, slightly awkward moments, though Levi is sure the awkwardness completely escapes her.

Finally, she gestures to the two horses in the standing stalls. "These the two you’re gonna take today?"

He stares at her blankly. "Take?"

"To gather the cows," she says brightly. Levi continues to stare. Hange folds her arms, impatient with Levi's lack of wits.

"Come on, you know. Out west, we're gathering and sorting today." It's Hange turn to stare at Levi’s continued lack of comprehension.

"Hmm. I was sure I told you about it at the fair, but maybe I forgot. Ah, well. My bad!"

Levi opens his mouth but no sound comes out; the screaming is all internal. Had the colts not just had time off, this would be fine. Had he not been an emotional wreck all weekend, this would have been fine. Had Hange given him more than five minutes notice, this would have been fine. 

But no.

It's in a sullen sort of silence that Levi throws a saddle on Mica, ignoring yet another of her attempts to maul him. He watches with pursed lips as Hange loads both colts, as well as her own broke ranch horse and Erwin's old, steady grey gelding into the trailer. He's in a sort of trance as he climbs into the passenger seat, and Hange pulls out of the ranch, heading due west.

Twenty minutes later finds them in some of the most beautiful country Levi's ever seen. The mountains seem close enough to touch, but miles of unforgiving foothills lay in between. They pull into a spacious field, surprisingly flat, all things considered, with aged yet well-maintained corrals large enough and numerous enough to easily work 200 head of cattle. Levi takes a deep breath. There's nothing to worry about really. He used to be a rodeo cowboy. What's a colt with a little buck compared to a seriously pissed-off bull? The two colts he brought are a couple of the most talented of the bunch. It could be worse.

Hange parks next to a row of other rigs; local cowboys and ranchers that've come to lend a hand, regardless of the steadily worsening weather. They unload their horses and Levi ties his charges to the trailer, hobbling them for good measure; no sense letting them pick up any bad habits. Once their mounts are secured, Hange grabs his hand and drags him away, saying "I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew!"

They go from rig to rig, Hange spouting off names he's guaranteed to forget; Mike, Moblit, Nanaba, Petra, Eld, Gunther, Nile, Oluo. Levi shakes far more hands than he's comfortable with and tries to avoid eye contact as much as possible. Instead, he focuses on their assorted horses, from the huge stout chestnut Mike brought, obviously capable of dragging around even the rankest bulls, to the pony-type stock horse belonging to Petra, a horse Levi is willing to bet could outrun and outlast every other horse here.

Once they finish the rounds, they head back to their own horses, Mike tagging along like an overgrown puppy making small talk with Hange; they've obviously known each other for a long time, and Levi isn't sure how to interpret the sudden inexplicable wish for Mike to go away and never speak to Hange again. He gives himself a mental shake and begins going over his gear, tightening cinches, checking hooves.

"Two horses, Levi?" Mike’s left Hange looking for her rain slicker at the truck. Now he's leaning on Erwin's gelding watching Levi intently. "You planning to outride everyone today?"

Levi gently returns Mica’s foot to the ground and straightens up. "Hardly. They're just young, I’ll be switching off."

Mike nods, understanding. He's probably brought along plenty of his own horses to know how it works. But his intent stare is slightly uncomfortable, to say the least. Finally, "Say, you look familiar. You compete at all?"

Levi clenches a muscle in his jaw and turns back to his horses. "I used to, a long time ago."

"What events? No offence but you're a bit on the small side..."

Levi is about to deliver a biting reply when Hange joins them, rain slicker in hand. "What're you guys talking about?"

Mike smiles easily, as if Levi hadn't been about to verbally abuse him, and says, "Just trying to figure out which rodeo event Levi competed in."

Hange glances at Levi. Mike might be oblivious, but Hange knows they could be treading in dangerous territory. "Um, rough stock, right Levi?” Then she effortlessly deflects the conversation away from Levi. “Mikes a bulldogger. The bigger the calves the faster his times, right Mike?"

Mike's eyes get all dreamy and far away. "There was this one steer, at Harmon Creek, 800 pounds-"

Levi stops listening to what is sure to be a thrilling tale of victory, but he can't help the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Hange knows him far better than he’s let anyone know him in years.

They’re spared from further retellings of mike's rodeo prowess by the arrival of Erwin. In no time at all, everyone is mounted up and riding up into 900 acres of hills and brush. Mica behaves far better than Levi expected. Keeping the cows moving gives her a job, keeps her focused and she demonstrates on several occasions to have an abundance of cow sense. In no time, Levi finds himself relaxing and trusting his horse; they glide through the bush after wayward cattle, navigating the extreme terrain like seasoned pros.

As they descend one of many hills, Hange and her big bay ride up alongside them. Hange is slightly out of breath, and her horse has a good sweat on him despite the cool day. She nods at Mica.
"Your colt's doing fabulous, everybody's saying so," she says.

Levi reaches down and gives Mica a pat on the neck. "She really is. I named her Mica, by the way."

Hange nods slowly. "I like it, suits her. Don't see many horses of the quality she is."

"No, you don't."

They ride in companionable silence for a few minutes, trailing after a dozen cows. The hoots and whistles of the rest of the crew echoing through the hills. A few hundred yards away, Mike and his huge horse crash through the trees hot on the heels of one of the bulls.

"Sorry about Mike, bringing up rodeo or whatever," Hange says after a while.

Levi takes a moment to process this. Hange has no reason whatsoever to apologise; she has no idea what he has against rodeos, she only knows what she managed to glean at Big Sky, and seeing how he'd refused to talk about his admittedly childish behaviour since it can't have been much.

"You've nothing to be sorry for, shitty glasses," he says. 

"I just know you don't like rodeos, and every conversation inevitably turns to rodeo gossip when Mike's around."

"It'd be a bit naive of me to expect to go unrecognized," he gives her a sidelong look, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I used to be pretty damn good, you know. A legend even."

Hange chuckles, looking at him over the top of her glasses. "So I gather."

A cow tries to peel away to the left, Hange clucks to her horse and he lunges after it pushing it back to the main bunch.

"So," she says upon her return. "Was I right? You used to be a rough stock rider?"

Levi shrugs. "Partly. I did do rough stock, and damn was I good, but I usually went for the All-Around Champion." Hange's raises her eyebrows. "Nicer buckles," he adds.

Hange laughs. "Okay, did not expect that. What were your other events, if you don't mind my asking?"

Levi shrugs again. "Anything and everything, I did them all." 

"Even bulldogging? But you're kinda sho-"

"Size isn't everything, you know," he says cutting her off. "It's all about getting the right leverage."

"I guess you could say that about a lot of things, eh?"

Levi rolls his eyes, a default reaction. "I guess. Mind you don’t get even more shit on your glasses down there in the gutter, Hange.”

Hange laughs again, a sound Levi is beginning to enjoy more and more. He almost wishes he could laugh as easily, but for now hearing her laugh, at him, at something he said, it's enough. They continue trailing after the cows, as comfortable in silence as they are in conversation.

By noon, all 200 head of cattle are accounted for, safely locked away in the largest corral. Levi pulls his saddle off Mica, who is no longer interested in biting at everything within reach; she seems ready to take a snooze. Levi gives her an affectionate pat. She's proven herself today, no doubt a great ranch horse in the making.

He picks up his saddle and turns to Lynx. The chestnut mare tosses her head, her flaxen forelock falling over her small, bright eyes. Levi purses his lips. It might be too much to hope that the afternoon ride will go as well as the morning.

Lynx stomps her feet as he saddles her up, and she hogs her back as he tightens the cinch; never good signs. A few of the empty corrals are on the small side, maybe twenty metres square; the perfect size to move a young horse around in to loosen them up. Not that Levi can't handle a bronc, but he'd rather not eat dirt in front of a crowd. It's not as fun when there's no prize money involved.

He leads Lynx to the corral and sucks the cinch up tighter still before setting her loose. Like a canon, she explodes, leaping into the air and kicking out, her head low. Levi stays clear but keeps pushing her forward, swinging the lead rope to keep her moving. She carries on for a lot longer than he'd like. He finds himself thinking she'd make for good bucking stock.

Eventually, she settles a bit and he moves her around much as he would in the round pen at home. She's a sharp little mare, obviously remembering everything, every cue and command he's ever taught her, but she only complies about half the time, which is disappointing; the way she can sit and turn on her hindquarter is unreal.

She's got a light sweat on when he signals for her to stop and face him, but of course, she ignores him for a few strides before actually obeying, trotting into the centre like it was her idea all along. Levi sighs and slowly rubs her forehead, brushing her unruly mane out of her eyes.

"If you want to do it, you're a superstar, if you don't, you're a monster," he says quietly to her. Lynx snorts, decidedly unconcerned with her unpredictable behaviour.

"That was quite a show," says Erwin. Levi glances over to the fence where Erwin, Hange, Mike, and a few others have been watching him work with Lynx.

"Thought I ought to provide some entertainment while you eat your lunches," Levi deadpans with a mock bow.

"Much obliged!" says Mike, waving his ham sandwich in the air.

With the excitement over and their lunches finished, the crew move back toward their horses, getting ready for the afternoon; retightening cinches, putting bridles back on, and donning rain gear as it begins to drizzle. Levi keeps all his movements slow and deliberate as he puts on his slicker and bridles Lynx. He steps on and she lets out a great sigh, which is nice to hear, but in no way promises an easy ride.

"Is she gonna be alright?" Levi looks up and sees Hange still leaning on the fence, watching him closely.

He rides over to the fence, reaching out and holding onto the top rail as he looks down at Hange. "Probably not. I should have left her at home and brought one of the others. Titan, or Goliath maybe." He shrugs. Too late now to wish for a different horse.

"That was quite the blowup," says Hange reaching through the rails to stroke Lynx's velvety nose.

"She's the kind of horse who'll either take you to the top or kill you. Sometimes they're worth the effort, sometimes not."

"Guess today you'll know, one way or the other."

"I bet you're right. Just promise me one thing, shitty glasses." 

Hange smirks. "What's that, Mr. Clean?"

"When she bucks my ass off, scrape up what left of me out of the mud." Levi rides away towards the sorting pens, Hange laughing behind him.

A system is quickly developed for sorting. Levi might be a cowboy, but his skills working cattle are mediocre at best. He can cut them and move them if they're slow and he's on a good horse, but the cool weather has made the cattle fresh, and Lynx is a far cry from a reliable mount. Luckily he gets an easy job: gate duty; just keep the cows that have already been sorted from rejoining the rest of the herd and let newly sorted cows come in. Piece of cake.

Well, it should be, anyway.

Lynx is one unhappy camper. Levi wishes he'd taken her to gather; this is the closest to the horse version of a temper tantrum he's seen in nearly ten years of starting horses. She stomps her feet, and won't stand still for more than half a second; she tries to squash his legs against the fence, tosses her head and kicks at anything that gets too close, whether it be a cow or another horse.

Eventually, Mike rides over, keeping a safe distance while still being able to be heard without shouting. "She's a bit of a handful, ain't she."

Levi's not really in the mood for small talk as Lynx spooks at absolutely nothing, shitty horse. 

"I hadn't noticed," says Levi through gritted teeth. He takes a hold of the reins and backs Lynx up until her hindquarter hits the fence.

"Think she'd settle if you got her moving the cows a bit?" Mike asks.

Honestly, Levi has no idea if that'd work or not, but it couldn’t be worse than fighting with her here. "Worth a shot."

Mike calls Nile over and he and Levi switch roles. It's still a low-pressure job; just keep the cows moving, point A to point B. At first, it works; Lynx is focused and listening, responding to every cue sharper than any of the other colts ever have. She earns herself a few appreciative whistles from some of the others, Levi even hears Hange distinctive whoop when Lynx pulls off an especially nice stop and turn when one cow tries to turn back on them.

"Atta girl, Lynx," says Levi, running one hand along the crest of her neck.

It only takes another hour or so before they're on the last dozen cows to sort. Lynx is still working well; she feels like a coiled spring ready to leap into action at the subtlest cue. Levi is glad she’s proved herself to not be a complete basket case, but he still can't bring himself to let his guard down.

Erwin pushes the last three cows toward Levi. Lynx responds immediately as Levi guides her in a wide arc to pick the cows up and push them along the fence. That's when she starts swishing her tail. 

Cows, dumb as they can sometimes be, always know when to take advantage of a situation. In unison, they scatter and a second later, Lynx blows up; she throws her head down and Levi can feel her tail brush against the back of his neck.

“Oh, no you don't, you bitch pig," says Levi. He grabs a hold of the reins and pulls hard, trying to get her head up and her feet back on the ground. Lynx rears up and leaps forward instead.

Some people say time slows down during things like this, that every little detail comes into sharp focus, but that's not really true. It all happens so fast, every action is the result of instinct rather than conscious choice. When he can’t pull her head up with both reins, he drops one entirely and focuses on pulling her head to one side, trying to throw her off balance enough that she has to stop bucking. The next thing Levi knows is a sharp stabbing pain in his leg that makes him suck in his breath, but instead of air, all he gets is a mouth full of mud.

He becomes vaguely aware of voices shouting, people saying something, “let go” maybe? Yeah right. He gives his head a little shake and he finds himself still holding one rein, his feet still in both stirrups, but the whole world has gone sideways. He may have hit his head a bit, but when Lynx starts struggling, he realizes that trying to pull her off balance, her refusing to stop, and the rain-soaked ground resulted in both of them ending up in the mud. Well. That's far less embarrassing than simply getting bucked off at least.

Lynx thrashes a bit, but with her head bent around to Levi’s knee, she can’t get to her feet. Instead, she just makes Levi acutely aware of how badly his leg hurts, the one pinned under 1200 pounds of horseflesh. In his peripheral, he can see people getting off their horses and rushing over. Their help is the last thing he needs.

"Stay back," he calls and sees Mike, who’s closest, falter.

 "Just... Just let her get up slow, Levi," says Mike.

Levi shakes his head; if he lets her up she'll probably end up stepping on him, or worse. What he wants is for Lynx to go from laying flat on her side to laying more upright on her sternum. Very carefully Levi gives her her head, a tiny bit, just enough for her to -- there!

The little bit of rein gives Lynx enough freedom to attempt to surge to her feet but as she twists upward, Levi takes back the rein, bending her head back to his knee again, but this time she's right where he wants her, resting on the ground, her legs curled under her body, and both Levi's legs blessedly free. He reaches forward and rubs her forehead. No doubt falling over wasn't part of her plan, and she's probably feeling pretty sheepish at the moment.

"Bet you'll think twice about doing that again, huh?" He whispers to her. Lynx let out a huge sigh, Levi would smile, but the throbbing in his leg has him gritting his teeth instead.

"Jeez, Levi, I thought you were joking earlier!"

Levi looks up and sees Hange. She didn't bother getting off her horse like some of the others. She's looking down at him and Lynx, both their left sides coated in mud and shit. She smirks, her eyes twinkling behind her rain-specked glasses.

"Yeah, I did too," says Levi, attempting to wipe some of the mud off his face with a free hand. Hange laughs at him and tosses him her bandanna, the one she wears around her neck. As he gets the mud out of his eyes, he sees Mike getting back on his horse and Erwin and Petra pushing those three renegade cows through the gate. Today had gone pretty well, all things considered, right up until Lynx decided to turn it into a rodeo. It's been a long time since Levi'd rode a horse that bucked that hard, not since-

"You gonna get that nag back on her feet or did you break her for good?"

Levi is glad to be brought back to reality; memory lane never leads anywhere pleasant. He throws Hange's now filthy bandana back to her. "Let's find out," he says as Hange laughs and tries to shake the mud out of her bandana.

Levi slowly gives Lynx her head back, but now she seems content to stay right there in the mud, sulking. He shrugs, "Guess I broke her."

"I can jump-start her for you if you like," says Hange, swinging the end of her rein back and forth.

Levi would rather not see how well Lynx reacts to a smack on the ass. "Pass," he says. He nudges her sides with his heels, sending a new shock of pain up his leg. Lynx shifts and grudgingly heaves herself back onto her feet and shakes her whole body, sending bits of mud everywhere. The movement is almost too much for Levi.

"Hey, you okay?" asks Hange, half reaching towards him.

His face must have given him away, something that doesn't happen often. He turns to her and his usually low, rough voice is a few notes higher. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are. Come on, tough guy, work’s done here." She leads the way back to the trailers. 

The rest of the crew has already dismounted and are loading up, making plans for dinner and drinks at the local bar.

Erwin's just loaded his horse onto their trailer when he spots them walking over. "Nice riding, Levi. I doubt I could have hired a better horseman." He pats Levi’s leg. Unfortunately, it's Levi's bad leg, but it seems only Hange notices him wince. "Go home, clean up, join us for a drink if you feel up to it," says Erwin turning away to talk to Mike and Nile.

Hange slides off her horse and looks up at Levi. “D’you… need a hand?"

Yes. Yes he does, but like hell was he going to limp around in front of guys like Mike, and Oluo's been looking at him like he's found a new religion since lunchtime. He sighs. "I'm going to walk Lynx around a bit more, let it quiet down here." Hange nods and Levi rides back to the corrals.

Lucky it's raining; no one lingers for long. Levi rides back to the trailer as the last rig pulls out onto the highway. Lynx was downright docile as he walked her out, but Levi is sure if he doesn't get his boot off soon he's gonna have to cut it off, and these are his favourite boots.

He walks Lynx up to the cab of the truck where Hange is sitting, heaters full blast, and knocks on the window. She looks up and smiles, rolling down the window. "Need a hand, tough guy?"

Levi rolls his eyes. "Don't patronize me, shitty glasses. Just please hold my goddamn horse while I try to get off."

It's fortunate in the end it was Lynx and not one of the other colts; she's one of the smallest, so as painful as getting off was, it could have been a whole lot worse. While Hange loads Lynx and their gear, Levi leans against the truck and gingerly pulls off his boot. His ankle and foot hurt like hell; he's no expert but something's gotta be broken, at the very least.

"That looks all kinds of awful," says Hange. Levi jumps and almost falls in the mud again. Hange just laughs. "Come on, I bet being covered in mud is as painful to you as your leg. Let's get home."

Chapter Text

Of all the places Levi hates, he hates hospitals the most. Maybe that’s not quite true; shopping malls at Christmas can be worse. 

Levi likes the idea of hospitals, with all their antibacterial scrubs and helping people heal and all, but he’s never had a good experience in a hospital and that makes for a Levi who’s far surlier than usual. 

Both Hange and Levi had fully intended to join the others for dinner after they took care of their horses, but the short trip back to the ranch made it abundantly clear that Levi’s leg might need more immediate attention; when he tried to step out of the truck, his ankle gave out, and he found himself sitting in the mud for a second time that day. Great. Hange insisted he stay in the truck while she turned the horses out, which she did in record time. Then she insisted she drive him to the hospital, which, when Levi tried to argue, she gave him a hard look and a kick to his good ankle. He supposed he deserved. 

Then, of course, the emergency room was far busier than either of them anticipated. The pain was getting to Levi and he kept up a constant stream of cursing under his breath. After a couple of hours of that, Hange offered to give him a more serious injury — protruding bones usually get immediate attention. Levi declined and therefore didn’t get in for x-rays until nearly 2 AM. 

Now it’s almost three in the morning, and Levi is sitting on an exam table, picking absently at the fraying upholstery, waiting for the final verdict. Hange is slouched in a chair in the corner, her glasses on the brink of falling off her face entirely, her breathing slow and steady. 

At least someone’s comfortable, Levi thinks sourly. That’s not really fair though. Hange’s been an absolute saint, he should be nothing but grateful. But pain tends to turn him into an ass. Well, more of an ass. 

After years of waiting, the door to the tiny exam room finally opens, letting in the doctor, a grim look on his face and some x-rays in his hand. Hange jerks awake and is immediately on her feet.

“Dr. Nicholas. Good to see you,” she says formally.

The doctor’s face splits into a smile. “Ah, Ms. Zoe, hope you’ve been well,” he says. “The hospital hasn’t been quite as cheerful without you.”

“Yeah, well... Sorry about that,” she says, shifting a bit uncomfortably on her feet.

“Nonsense, we’re just greedy is all,” he says turning and clipping up Levi’s x-rays and charts. “You have too many talents to settle on something that doesn’t make you one hundred percent happy.” He turns back to her and gives her a warm smile. 

They both stand there, smiling at each other. It would almost be funny, except that Levi is in rather a lot of pain, still covered in far more mud than he’d like to be, and really, who does this guy think he is, smiling at Hange like that. Levi clears his throat as loudly as he can. Both Hange and Dr. Nicholas jump as if they’d forgotten he was there.

“So, what’s the damage, Doc,” he says curtly.

“Ah, yes, well,” Dr. Nicholas points to the illuminated x-ray. “It seems you fractured the first, fourth, and fifth metatarsals. The good news is the one on the fifth isn’t near the joint, so it should heal just fine without surgery. I imagine you’ve also sprained your ankle pretty badly, based simply on the nature of the accident, but it’s hard to check with all the swelling from the fractures.” He gives Levi a big smile.

It’s more or less what Levi expected, but for whatever reason, he wants to punch Dr. Nicholas in the face. Might be the pain, might be that stupid smile, might be the fact that he’s smiling at Hange again. 

“Well, fan-frickin-tastic, Doc,” says Levi, and Dr. Nicholas whips his attention back to him, eyes wide and all traces of a smile vanishing. Hange looks torn between being horrified and wanting to laugh. “Hey, listen,” Levi continues, completely serious, “Do you have any bad news? ‘Cause your good news is just making me too damn giddy, you know? I might shit myself from joy.”

Laugher wins out, and Hange puts a hand to her face to try to stifle it. 

Dr. Nicholas looks flabbergasted. He looks from Levi to Hange and tries to stutter out a reply, but Hange waves him off.

“I’m so sorry, Dr. Nick. Levi doesn’t handle pain well, and it’s way past his bedtime. I’ll get him out of here.”

Dr. Nicholas is still muttering to himself as Hange helps Levi out of the exam room. As soon as they’re out of earshot, she starts laughing again.

“God, Levi, you weren’t kidding when you told me you turn into a right jerk when you get hurt,” she says.

“I never said that.”

“Not those words maybe. I think Dr. Nick is going to be offended ‘til he retires.”

“Sorry, I mean if he’s your friend or -”

“Nah, don’t be. Here,” she helps him into a seat in the waiting room. “I’ll go grab your prescription and whatever else they’re gonna give you, then we’ll get the hell out of here.”

She leaves him alone, making her way to the nurses’ station. He can see her waving and greeting most of the people working. It’s strange, but hardly anything about Hange surprises him anymore. 

She’s back before he can think about it for too long, her arms full of medical paraphernalia. She tosses him a bottle of water and some prescription drugs. “Take two of these right now. You probably want to shower before putting on the brace, so we’ll wait. But here,” she hands him some crutches. “You can get your own ass out to the truck now!”

“Ugh, kill me,” mutters Levi, getting awkwardly to his one good foot and taking the crutches. 

“That is what they do to horses in your condition,” says Hange, elbowing him in the ribs.

Levi gives her a look that has made lesser men cry, yet it has no effect on Hange.

“Oh, lighten up. You’ll heal in no time. Come on, let’s go.” She strides out of the hospital, Levi trying, and failing, to keep up.

Once in the truck, the painkillers blessedly start to kick in. Without the constant throbbing in his leg, Levi finally relaxes, closing his eyes.

“They should have given me these right away,” he says with a sigh. “I might not have been so abrupt with the poor doctor.”

“The poor doctor will be just fine, I’m sure,” says Hange. Even with his eyes closed, Levi can hear the smile in her voice and it makes him bold.

“Did you used to work there, Hange? At the hospital?” he asks. Not that it matters, not that he should care, but for whatever reason, Levi suddenly feels like he hardly knows her at all. It really shouldn’t bother him, but it kinda does.

Hange doesn’t answer right away and Levi wonders for a moment if that hospital is for her what rodeo is for him. 

“Yeah, I did. In what feels like another life,” she says after a while. “Dr. Nick was one of my least favourite doctors.” She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “He’s a bit creepy."

Levi almost smiles. “Yeah, I got that vibe off him. You were a nurse?”

“Respiratory therapist. But you know, it just wasn’t for me.”

“So you went back to school.”

“Yeah. I always thought I wanted to help people, but being around that many people all the time made me realize most of them are pretty shitty.”

Levi glances at her face. Her expression is impassive and her tone serene, but this is a side of her he hasn’t seen before. He turns away, looking out the passenger window, watching the darkness streak past.

“Yeah, people are shitty,” he says quietly. “You’re not, though.”

Dammit. Why did he say that? Stupid meds, stupid sleep deprivation. 

Hange just laughs. “Right back at ya, buddy.” 

As they make the final turn back to the Ranch, Levi doesn’t bother to correct her as to his real level of shittiness; after all, he’s pretty sure he could out-shitty a lot of people.

“Oh, come on Hange. It’s been a month!”

“I don’t care, Levi, the colts are just fine, and you’d do better to let your foot finish healing.”

“Yeah, but look!” Levi stands up, bearing weight evenly on both feet, his broken foot secured in the brace. He even goes so far as to stomp it a bit, the floorboards of the loft creaking in protest. “Can’t feel a thing,” he says, swallowing a wince, as he sinks back into his seat at the tiny kitchen table.

“Right, sure you can’t,” she says, eyeing him over her glasses. Levi does not doubt that she did indeed notice the wince. She takes a sip of her tea. Hange’s not unreasonable, and Levi knows she is well aware that he was given the okay to start using his foot again. 

“Okay, how about this. I’ll only work with four colts a day.”

Hange leans back in her chair, a calculating look on her face. “I dunno, I mean what if one of them steps on your foot? Then where will we be?”

“Are you serious? Hange, I’m pretty sure this space boot could survive being run over by a dump truck.”

Hange still doesn’t look convinced.

It’s easily been one of the longest months of Levi’s life. Keeping busy always kept the ghosts at bay. If only Hange knew how much this idleness makes him want to throw himself out the loft window. And with Erwin gone abroad on a business trip, Hange is the final obstacle standing stubbornly in the way. 

He reaches across the table, taking both her hand in his. “Please, Hange. You have no idea how crazy not working is making me. Just let me do something, anything!”

Hange manages to maintain her aloof mask for three whole seconds before she cracks.

Holy shit, Levi, your puppy-eyes are on another level!”

“What?”

Hange throws her head back and laughs. Levi can’t help the slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He hastily drops her hands. “So… is that a yes?”

Hange, still laughing, gets up, brushing nonexistent dust off her pants. “Yeah, do whatever you want.” She gives him a sly grin, “I just wanted to see you beg.”

Levi’s not sure how to react for a moment. The part of him that thinks this whole situation is beyond ridiculous wins out and he can’t help but smile a little. 

“Get out of here, shitty-glasses,” he calls after her. 

She just laughs again. “And you get back to work, Mr. Clean!”

It feels unspeakably good to do something again, to be so utterly distracted by being so completely focused on the unpredictable creatures he has the privilege to work with. He might have had a whole month off, but this right here, in the middle of the round pen with 1200 pounds of muscle and sinew moving at 25 km/h not five meters away from him, is the most relaxed and content he’s been since he broke his stupid foot. It’s a fact that’s not lost on Hange.

“You look like a baby angel,” she says the second day he’s back to working with his colts. Like before, she mostly does her own work all day, but frequently stops by to watch for a minute or two.

Levi raises a hand and turns his body away from Titan, a big brute of a palomino colt, who instantly slides to a stop and faces Levi, ears alert, waiting for the next cue.

“How so?” says Levi, not even bothering to look in her direction; he can hear the mirth in her voice, he doesn’t need to see her contagious smile to know she’s gearing up for a punchline.

“Well, angel cause you look happier than you have in weeks,” she says, barely containing her laughter. “Baby cause you’re short.” 

She thinks she’s so hilarious. “You know,” says Levi, finally turning to look at her, “people have been calling me short since elementary school. It’s kind of old news.”

“That just makes it a vintage joke,” she says, completely unfazed.

He turns back to Titan, signalling the horse to come to the centre of the pen. “Most people who’ve called me short mysteriously end up in a ditch somewhere,” he says idly as he slips the halter on.

Hange climbs the fence and perches precariously on the top rail. “I call bullshit.”

“Are you operating under the impression that little old me couldn't hurt a fly? Because that would be bullshit.” He leads Titan over to the fence.

“Oh, no, I have no doubt that you'd kill anyone who pissed you off,” she says, looking down her nose at him. “Just not me.”

Levi snorts. An actual snort, the most embarrassing precursor to legitimate laughter there is, and if that isn’t mortifying enough, Hange’s little fist pump in celebration certainly is.

“Finally made you laugh, huh?” she says. “I think our friendship may have reached a new plateau.”

“I think it’s peaked, actually.”

Hange stares at him for a second before reaching out with her leg and kicking his hat off his head. 

“Oh my God!” she laughs. Levi smiles, retrieving his hat from the dirt. Smiling is something that’s coming far more easily than ever before. At least, it is when he’s with Hange.

Over the course of the next week, Levi spends time with each of the colts. The majority surpass his expectations, performing as if they’ve had no break at all. A few are a bit rowdy, but nothing they don’t work out of. 

“Maybe we can ask Mike or one of your other cowboy buddies to come put some rides on them,” Levi says absently to Hange one evening in the shop. Since Erwin left, they’d gotten into the habit of meeting up in the shop at the end of the day; Levi filling out his time card, Hange making a plan for the next day so she didn’t have to do it tomorrow and thus could sleep in an extra five minutes. 

“Uh, excuse you, what am I? Chop liver?”

Levi looks up, surprised. “No?”

“I can ride just as well as Mike. Better probably. Plus, most horses prefer a lady’s touch,” she says.

“I don’t know about that. I’ve never had a problem with man-hating horses,” says Levi lightly, taking a sip of tea.

“That’s because you’re in touch with your feminine side.” 

Levi chokes on his tea. 

“So it’s settled then,” Hange continues. “If you want the colts ridden, I get to do it.” 

The next day, Levi finds himself wishing he hadn’t brought up getting someone to ride the colts at all. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Hange could ride well. He knew she was a fantastic horseman; he’d seen her at the roundup, he’d taken note (her seat, in particular, is excellent). And despite her outward appearance of being a bit erratic and high strung, her internal energy is actually very quiet, very steady, and that’s the energy that horses tune into. Levi had worked with dozens of young guys thinking they were going to be the next horse whisperer, but while they seemed to be calm and cool on the outside, inside they were a tightly wound spring, and the horses always knew. Horses never lie.

But as Hange leads the saddled and bridled Hunter to the round pen, he can’t get his stomach to stop tying itself in knots. Hunter doesn't have a single iota of buck in him; he’s far too eager to please for bucking to even cross his mind, but that’s not the point. Horses have a mind of their own, anything could happen, and if it did, it would be Levi’s fault. 

But everything goes well; Hange and Hunter click almost immediately; Hunter does seem a bit sluggish when responding to Hange’s cues, but it’s probably only him having to adapt to a slightly different way of asking for the same thing. Walk, trot, canter, stops, turns, everything’s looking not too bad, so Levi is a bit confused when Hange stops Hunter suddenly, and looks at Levi in exasperation.

“Do you mind?”

Levi glances around as if she’s talking at someone else, but he’s the only one there. “What?”

“What d’you mean ‘what.’ Go sit on the fence or something, Levi, you’re making this harder for Hunter than it needs to be.”

For a second, Levi is going to deny it, but then he notices Hunter, who even though he was stopped parallel to the fence has turned himself to face Levi, his ears and eyes, one hundred percent of his focus, trained on Levi. No wonder he hasn’t been quite as responsive to Hange as he had expected him to be. The poor horse is so busy trying to pay attention to both Hange in the saddle and Levi on the ground that it’s affecting his overall performance. 

Well. 

Levi shrugs and as he starts backing up towards the fence Hunter automatically follows him.

Hange rolls her eyes. “They’re all so in love with you,” she says, “I feel like a home-wrecker.” 

“It’s probably past time they had someone else working with them,” Levi admits as he slips out the gate. “A one-man horse is hardly useful on a ranch.”

Hange just nods in agreement. She picks Hunter back up, and it’s like a switch has been flipped. With no Levi in the ring to divide his attention, Hunter shines, and to Levi’s surprise, Hange has him doing things he’s only just begun to learn perfectly and effortlessly. Levi had known Hange was good, but he didn’t know she was this good. Why the hell did Erwin hire him when he had Hange right here the whole time? 

They end up working with the whole herd, each colt surpassing Levi’s expectations, and reinforcing how exceptional Hange really is. Even Lynx behaves well; maybe there’s something to what Hange said about some horses preferring women. 

The sun’s low is the sky when Hange jumps off the last colt, a good-natured blue roan named Freckles. Levi leans casually against the barn, his hands buried deep in his pockets, watching. Hange slowly leads Freckles towards the barn, checking her phone and smiling.

“You treat them like they’re broke already,” Levi calls when she’s within earshot. Hange snaps her head up, still smiling.

“Of course,” she says, tucking her phone back into her pocket. “It’s something I had someone tell me a long time ago.” She pitches her voice down into a mock imitation of a gruff cowboy, “‘Treat ‘em how you want ‘em to behave.’”

Levi raises an eyebrow. It’s an interesting idea, but he’s not about to tell Hange that. He’s just glad the day is finally over and, more importantly, that nothing happened. Hange leads Freckles into the barn, the young horse’s shod feet ringing on the clean-swept concrete. Levi follows without a word and starts unsaddling as Hange slips on Freckles’ halter. 

“Barn sure looks tidy,” says Hange idly as she gives Freckles a quick brush. 

“Yeah, well, it was kind of a slow day,” says Levi. The truth is it was a very slow day. As Hange worked her way through all the colts Levi had very little to distract him, especially since he convinced himself that watching Hange ride the whole time would ultimately result in the colts acting up and Hange getting hurt, which was stupid, so he started sweeping out the barn, which turned into cleaning saddles, oiling bridles, washing windows. Hange just smiles knowingly and leads Freckles out, punching Levi in the arm on her way by.

Levi watches from the barn as Hange turns the horse loose, and heads for the far gate to let the colts out into the river pasture for the night. Levi closes his eyes, waiting for the familiar and comforting sound of thundering hooves, a sound that he hears less with his ears and more in a place somewhere near his heart. 

The colts crest the far hill, disappearing from sight at the same time that Hange saunters back to the barn, on her phone once again. She absently hangs up her halter as she finishes up the novel she’s texting to someone, then shoving her phone into her pocket, collapses onto a stack of hay bales as suddenly as if someone kicked her legs out from under her.

“I’m starving!” She looks up at Levi who remains unreadable. “You wanna go to town and grab a bite to eat?”

No. He’d really rather just eat alone up in his loft like he usually does. But he's also very interested in hearing what Hange thought of the colts. Over dinner is as good a place as any to have a conversation.

He shrugs. “Sure.”

Hange claps her hands together. “Okay! The bar has decent food, if a bit on the greasy side, or there’s the steakhouse, expensive but delicious.”

“Well when you put it that way, steak —” 

“Oh!” says Hange, cutting him off. “I should probably mention before I forget: we’ve been asked to help at a branding next week.”

Levi’s eyes narrow. “Whose.”

“Mike’s,” she says with a smile. 

Levi sighs. “In that case, we’d better go to the bar. I think I need a drink.”

Hange laughs as they head off towards Levi’s truck.

Chapter Text

Mike’s ranch is something else. The driveway is long and lined with evergreens, the barns and house immaculate, with that carefully manufactured rustic look that reeks of money. A sign near the house reads PARADISE FOUND. Levi glances at Hange in the driver’s seat, eyebrows raised; a guy doesn’t make the kind of fortune this property requires in rodeo.

Hange nods knowingly. “Family money.”

“Ah,” says Levi. “That explains it. I was starting to think I competed in the wrong circuit.”

Hange laughs, “No worries there. Mike loves rodeo and don’t get me wrong, he is pretty good, but I don’t think he can even pay his property taxes with what he makes competing. His family has been in the oil business since dinosaurs roamed the earth, and he runs this cow-calf operation mostly for the tax breaks, but he’s still really down to earth. An all-around good guy, you know?”

“Wow,” says Levi dryly, “is he single by chance?”

Hange laughs again as they pull into a large gravel lot and park next to a row of other rigs. “He’s taken, unfortunately, but you’re such a heartbreaker, Levi. I bet you could steal him away.”

They both jump out of the truck, Levi wincing as his feet hit the ground. While it’s true that he’s healed faster than most people, he’s not quite a hundred percent, but no way in hell was he about to wear that space boot in front of this crowd.

It’s not that Levi doesn’t like Mike. It’s like Hange said; he is a really good guy, not a mean bone in his body. But it’s like he’s a giant puppy, and Levi has never been a big fan of dogs. Levi can work with Mike, he can be civil, but he’s not going to be his best friend.

Hange already has their two horses unloaded by the time Levi hobbles to the back of the trailer; two colts that could really use some exposure to hopefully help them grow out of their goofiness. 

“You sure this is a good idea? I mean there’s plenty of jobs to do on the ground, you don’t have to ride.”

“I’d sooner break my other foot,” he says, taking the lead of the smaller of the two colts.

Levi hasn’t been to very many brandings, but of the ones he has been to, Mike’s is on another level. If these guys would just buckle down and work, they’d be done in a few hours. But no. They take breaks every 20 minutes, going off to the riding arena and roping a few steers. It’s just a big game to them. Which, Levi realizes belatedly, is probably the point; this is a social event for these clowns. So why is he even here?

He slides his horse up next to Hange, who’s been parked next to the gate for over an hour. 

“Hey, d’you think we’ll finish sometime before dark?”

Hange gives him a thoughtful look, shades her eyes to glance at the sun, then looks over the herd of cattle yet to be worked. “Not likely.”

Levi takes his hat off and runs his free hand through his hair. “Why the hell are we even here.”

“I’m not too sure, actually,” says Hange to Levi’s surprise. “Mike told me he was short-handed, but there are at least a half dozen guys who’ve done jackshit so far and that’s not counting us.” She reaches down and gives the young mare she’s riding a pat. “This girl’s being very good, though. When you said she was a goofball, I was expecting a lot more shenanigans.”

Levi snorts. “That’s ‘cause you gave her that handful of oats, don’t think I didn’t see that. She’s just hoping good behaviour gets her more.”

“And she’d be totally right!” Hange grins. Levi just rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 

They sit in companionable silence for a while; they’re far enough from any of the action that the peaceful sounds of the prairie wash over them. The colts are happy enough, occasionally trying to playfully nip each other, but they keep their feet still and Levi can’t really ask for more than that. With these two colts, reprimands for a lot of their silliness would just stifle their personalities. Every barn needs at least a couple of clowns. 

Levi’s horse-watching, which is a lot like people-watching, but better since it doesn’t involve people. He enjoys seeing the kinds of horses others choose for themselves. He notices an older gentleman riding a sleek golden palomino, the exact colour of a freshly mined Loonie. The horse is clearly not ranch-raised; it looks more like it was trained for the cutting pen judging by the way it moves and carries itself. 

Levi nods toward the man, who’s chatting with a few other ranchers. “Say, who’s the old guy on that nice gold horse?”

Hange follows his gaze. “Oh, that, uh, you know -” she snaps her fingers a few times, “what’s his name. Big horse guy from out east, he comes here in the summers to put miles on his performance horses.” She looks at Levi expectantly.

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.” 

“It’ll come to me in a minute.”

“Well, don’t strain yourself,” says Levi, sitting up straighter in his saddle. “Here he comes.”

Hange whips her head around so fast her glasses slide to the tip of her nose. Sure enough, the mystery horseman is riding their way. 

Once he’s within hailing distance he calls out. “You must be the famous Levi!”

Levi tenses immediately. Who’s this guy been talking to? But then the man continues, “Erwin’s excellent new horse trainer.” 

Levi awkwardly clears his throat. “I don’t know about famous, sir, but yes, I’m working for Mr. Smith at the moment.”

The man stops his horse directly in front of them and chuckles. “For the moment, eh?”

Levi makes a conscious effort not to glance at Hange as he replies, “For the foreseeable future.”

“Well, should the future become unforeseeable, I’ll have to bring you back east with me! I’ve heard nothing but great things about the band of colts you’re starting for Erwin.”

Levi ducks his head modestly; he’d never been one for the spotlight. “It’s a highly trainable group of horses, sir.”

“Zackly, call me Zackly, son. And even the finest horse can be ruined in the wrong hands. You have a gift, it’s good to see talented young men putting their gifts to use.” He smiles broadly, then turns his attention to Hange. 

“Little miss Zoe!” he booms, and Levi can see Hange wince slightly out of the corner of his eye. “How’s your father these days?”

Hange smiles tightly, “Up to his elbows in silage and manure, as usual.”

Zackly laughs heartily. “Very good, very good. Say hello to him for me.” He shifts his weight and ever so slightly raises his rein hand; subtle cues that get an instant response from his horse. “Give me a call if you ever have time to train a few more horses, Levi,” he says as he rides off.

Hange watches him go, frowning slightly. “Zackly. Can’t believe I forgot his name.” She shrugs, completely over her memory lapse already.

“He seemed to know you pretty well,” Levi says.

She hums a little, “My family maybe. We have a dairy, you know. Years ago my dad would buy horses from him.”

“Not anymore?”

“Nah. You don’t really need horses to run a dairy farm.”

They lapse into silence as they watch Mike wrestle a calf, nearly getting a hoof to his face. 

“Nice that he might want you to train some horses for him, though,” says Hange after a while.

Levi shrugs. “Maybe. I’m probably going to be busy with Erwin’s horses for a while. Why don’t you call him?”

“Yeah, Zackly’s a nice enough dude and all but he’s… well, a little bit sexist.”

Levi grunts. “Most men are. Their loss.” 

“Tell me about it,” she says darkly.

Levi had thought it a bit strange that this top horseman, clearly very successful, would offer him work based solely on word of mouth. He didn’t know Levi from a pile of manure, and Levi had certainly never trained a horse for high-level performance before. 

But Zackly has known Hange for years, probably watched her ride his horses, watched her show them in 4-H or county fairs or wherever. There was no doubt in Levi’s mind she is every bit as good a horseman as he is. Better probably; her style has finesse, whereas Levi’s is a little more rough around the edges. 

Around five, they all take a break for supper. Steak, of course. Alcohol flows freely and Levi can’t help but look pointed out to the pasture where at least 40 calves still wait their turn for the branding iron.

This doesn’t escape Hange’s notice. “Yeah, they won’t be doing anymore today,” she says as she takes a seat next to Levi. “Not now that they’ve brought out the keg.”

Levi jerks his head up. Sure enough, a barrel is being hoisted onto a table to raucous cheers. “Does no one take work seriously around here?”

“Not the ones who don’t earn a living from it.”

Supper is winding down when Levi makes his fatal mistake. He’s just decided that, as long as the food’s free, he might as well help himself to another steak. As he walks towards the barbeque, he passes Mike’s table, where he is, unsurprisingly, telling some undoubtedly thrilling rodeo tales. Levi’s nearly past them when a hand shoots out and grabs his elbow. 

“This guy! This guy’s a rodeo star! Right, Levi? Ain’t that right?” 

Levi can’t remember the name of the guy who has his sticky beer-covered hand on his shirt, which is probably for the best. Levi tries to only cuss out people whose name he knows; it allows for more creative profanity when you can incorporate their name, and maybe their mother’s name, too. But seeing as swearing isn’t an option, he just nods a little absently and starts to pull away. That’s when Mike chimes in.

“Yeah, used to do the all-around, right Levi? Little bit of everything. What was your best score on a bull?” There’s no way Mike isn’t at least a little drunk, but the challenge in his voice tells a different story. 

Levi manages to pull his arm out of Sticky-Fingers grasp and makes a show of brushing off his sleeve. His eyes scan the group of men, most of whom are much bigger than him. Looking at their faces he realizes that they don’t believe him. They think he’s a liar. The logical part of Levi’s brain tells him that’s fine. In fact, it’s probably for the best; he’s never going to rodeo again anyways. But the other part of his brain, the one that remembers the faces of the kids who looked up to him, that knows how disappointed they would be if they knew a bunch of hobby cowboys dared to think him anything less than the best.

Levi struggles with himself for a moment, but pride wins out. He clenches his jaw and spits right next to Sticky-finger’s boot. He looks Mike dead in the eye. “Ninety-eight points.” 

Mike’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Gunter! Chase in Mad Max! We got ourselves a bull-riding contest!”

Every fibre of Levi’s being screams that this is the stupidest thing he’s ever gotten himself into. But even as he throws a glance towards Hange, who’s slowly getting to her feet, eyes wide and mouth slightly open, even as he lets the throng of drunken cowboys hustle him to Mike’s bucking shoots, a small part of him can’t wait to get back on a bull.

One thing about Mike is that he does not dilly dally when it comes to a competition. Not five minutes after his proclamation of a friendly contest, Mike’s enormous black bull, Mad Max, is in the shoots, eyes wild, lunging back and forth, making an unholy racket. Levi can’t help but admire the beast. A couple of solid tonnes of raw power, muscle, and rage rolled into one magnificent creature. 

Of course, Mike goes first, which is fine with Levi. He finds a spot to watch from behind the shoots, careful to keep out of Hange’s sights; she’s sure to try to talk him out of his momentary insanity. 

Mad Max is a force of nature. Levi’s impressed Mike even owns him; good bucking stock is worth a small fortune. Levi notes in the half dozen seconds a bull ride takes how Mike rides. He’s not bad, but he lacks technique. He uses his height and weight to make up for a decided lack of style. Levi would be surprised if he ever scored more than eighty points on a ride. But Mike lasts the required eight seconds and is promptly scooped off Mad Max’s back by a pickup rider. It takes Levi a second to remember he’s up next.

Levi’s behind the shoots, in a secluded corner, strapping on some borrowed spurs and wondering how the hell Mike thinks this body protector is going to fit him when Hange finally finds him.

“So you’re really going to do this, eh, tough guy?” she asks, jaw set, arms folded over her chest.

“I am.”

“Levi, this is stupid.”

“I’m well aware.”

“I mean, I know you’re healing really fast, but you’re not a hundred percent.”

“You’re completely right.”

“You’re just letting Mike and the guys get to you.”

“That’s probably true.”

“You might get hurt.”

“It is a distinct possibility.”

“So why the hell are you doing this?”

Levi is silent for a moment. Hange is right; she generally is. He knows full well it’s stupid, oh boy does he ever. Levi may have been something of a prodigy rodeo star, but that was a long time ago, and he hasn’t even set foot near a bull in years. There is a slim chance that this will end well. He just can’t seem to outrun his past, no matter how far or how fast he runs, it’s always there, waiting to swallow him whole and drag him back down into his own personal hell. So what’s the point of running?

Plus, his pride can only handle so much of Mike’s smug face.

He gives his head a shake, and jerks the velcro of the body protector as tight as it will go.

“I know. I know it’s stupid. I’m kind of a stupid guy, if you haven’t realized. And there are some stupid things I’ve done that can’t be undone, but to let these guys disrespect me, disrespects people who…knew me…” he trails off lamely. He looks up at Hange. 

Her brow is furrowed, eyes worried. About him? Why? What has he done to deserve her worry, her care? 

“You won’t change my mind, Hange. I’m doing this.”

Hange snorts and shakes her head a little. “I didn’t really think I could. Just wanted to make sure you knew you’re being an idiot.”

“Sometimes I do need reminding.”

“Well, you can count on me.” She turns away. “You know, if you ever need to talk, I’m a pretty good listener.” Then she’s gone, leaving him alone behind the shoots.

The actual ride is a blur, as if Levi’s subconscious blocked it immediately from his memory. He vaguely remembers getting on, the clank of the gate as it’s thrown open, the familiar feeling in his stomach, like he’s riding a roller coaster, a feeling he’s always had no matter how many bulls he rides. He remembers feeling solid, unshakeable, his body working on instinct, then his internal clock telling him it’s time to bail. He remembers thinking of his broken foot and instead of landing on his feet, like he’d been famous for in the past, doing a tuck and roll, the taste of dirt in his mouth, his hat flying off, people shouting, cheering, the pick up riders rushing past him to block Mad Max from charging him as he gets to his feet. Hands reach out to him, helping him up, clapping him on the back, dusting him off, shaking his hand. 

Levi finds himself dissociating from the whole scene, watching it unfold as if from someone else’s eyes. He notices Mike and a few others talking amongst themselves, looking at something on their phones. Instant replay maybe? Somehow Levi doubts it. He’s really only concerned about one person’s reaction and that person is —

“Well, you’re still an idiot, but not gonna lie, you’re also freakin’ awesome.”

Levi smiles as he turns around to face Hange. “I know,” he says with a shrug.

“That you’re an idiot or that you’re awesome?”

“Both.”

Hange laughs and jams his lost hat, still full of dirt, back onto his head. Ugh. Few things are as unpleasant as the feeling of sand trickling down the back of your shirt.

“Dammit, Hange.” 

She just laughs again. “Come on, you just beat Mike at his own game, it’s a cause for celebration!”

Levi gives up on his fruitless attempts to get the sand out of his shirt in favour of rolling his eyes. “First off, Mike’s not even a player in this game, and second, I don’t like how you celebrate.”

Hange furrows her eyebrows. “How d’you mean?”

“Seriously? Throw confetti or something, nobody likes dirt down their f—”

“No, no,” she cuts him off, “I mean about Mike.” 

“Oi, Levi!”

Speak of the devil. Mike and a few of his buddies heading straight for them. Levi heaves a big sigh. 

“Well, you beat me, no doubt, but come on! I’m only human! Not a very fair contest don’t ya think?”

“If you recall, you’re the one who wanted a contest in the first place. Plus I’d told you my best score,” says Levi with a shrug.

“Yeah. And that’s how I found this.” Mike holds up his phone, a video of a pretty flawless bull ride flashing across the screen. “You’re Levi Ackerman for Pete's sake!”

The small crowd that’d gathered breaks out in chatter. “Mike didn’t stand a chance!” “Can I get your autograph? It’s for a friend.” “I thought you were dead!”

Levi doesn’t pay too much attention; instead, he looks over at Hange. She looks back and shrugs at him. Clearly the name Levi Ackerman means next to nothing to her. Good. 

When the hubbub dies down a bit, Mike reaches out a hand and puts it gently on Levi’s shoulder. “Hey, just wanted to say, that accident —”

“You know,” Levi cuts him off, speaking way louder than usual, “I’m beat. Out of practice and all that. We’d better go.”

Levi grabs Hange by the hand and drags her away, trying his best to not break into a run. 

Back at the truck, Levi’s not surprised to find their two horses managed to untie themselves, but luckily the allure of green grass was too strong; they didn’t go far.

“These are two of the most food motivated horses I’ve ever trained,” says Levi as they lead them back to the truck. 

“Yeah,” says Hange after a moment. “They really are a funny pair, but I like them. They’re honest.”

She doesn’t say anything else, but Levi can feel the silent accusation hanging in the air between them. How many times now has she offered to talk? To listen? 

He’s really fucked up this time, no doubt. How did it get like this? For almost ten years, he’s been able to stay under the radar, a nobody without a last name. And that’s how he liked it. The spotlight had never been his goal. He only ever wanted to be just Levi. 

But now? Now, that might not be an option anymore. Before working at Rafter 104, Levi would not describe himself as having any friends, but now that would be a lie. He’s not sure what it is, but there is something between himself and Hange, something he doesn’t want to lose. And even if he has to face his past to keep it… well, that’s what he’ll do.

“Hey, Hange?”

She finishes latching the door on the trailer, the horses safely loaded, but doesn’t look at him. “Hm?”

“You know how you offered to talk?”

She looks over at him, “Yeah.”

“When we get back to the ranch, after we take care of the horses, do you think you’d have time…?”

Hange chuckles. “It’s not really something you need to schedule, Levi. But I’ll check my calendar, I might be able to squeeze you in.” She laughs at her own wit as she climbs into the truck. 

Levi rolls his eyes as he gets in the passenger side.

Chapter Text

It’s barely dawn, but the rodeo grounds are already a flurry of activity; livestock being corralled behind the bucking chutes, fresh horses being loped around the track, kids and their parents wandering around, gawking at all the commotion. Levi takes a deep breath. As surreal as it all seems, this is really happening. 

A heavy hand comes down hard on his shoulder, nearly staggering him. Levi half turns, but in all honesty, there’s only one person it could be.

“Kenny. Gotta say, I’m surprised to see you up this early.”

Kenny’s face splits into a wolfish grin. “You kidding? And miss the debut of your little pet project? Nah.” He gives Levi two firm pats on the back, pats that would knock the unprepared off their feet, but Levi’s known Kenny too long for that. “We got word from that social worker yesterday,” Kenny goes on, “they’re finally on board. Probably send a couple kids over next week.”

Levi just nods, but inside he feels like fireworks are going off; the whole reason he’d wanted to do these camps was for kids in the system. Kids like him.

With a final pat on the back, Kenny stalks off towards the rodeo office where a line of nervous teens and their parents are lined up. 

“Hold up. You were a foster child?” 

The pub is dim and the off-key cover band is playing far too loudly, but Hange’s mild surprise isn’t hard to miss.

“Yeah, since I was four,” says Levi, absently pushing a few fries around his plate.

“So your parents —?”

“They’re around somewhere,” says Levi, “I talk to my mother occasionally, but she never did manage to get her shit together. I have no idea where or who my father is. Don’t really care.” 

“Shit, Levi. I’m sorry.” 

“For what? My shitty childhood?” He shoves his half-finished plate of fries away. “It’s ancient history. All of this is, but…” Levi trails off, his eyes focused on the floor; filthy as it is, it’s better than meeting Hange’s eyes.

“But it still weighs on you.” 

Goddamn, is he really that easy to read?

“You’re like an open book sometimes, Levi, you know that?”

That, or she’s a mind reader. Scary thought. “Yeah, yeah,” he pauses as a waiter stops by to gather their empty plates. “I guess I just have a lot of regrets.”

“Don’t we all. But go on with your story. It was the first day of your camps?” Hange prompts.

Levi nods. “It was something I’d wanted to do since Kenny first got me into Rodeo. It saved me. I was a long way from the straight and narrow, but Rodeo kept me out of trouble.” 

Hange raises an eyebrow. 

“Mostly out of trouble,” Levi amends with a roll of his eyes. “I figured it could do the same for other kids like me.

“Levi! Got some new recruits for ya!”

Levi finishes tightening the cinch of his best heel horse before looking up. Striding toward him along the shedrow is Kenny, his hands on the shoulders of two kids who look like they’d rather be anywhere but here. 

“Just got dropped off,” says Kenny. “This one’s Farlan, the other’s Isabel. They got caught up in some trouble in the city, so here they are.”

Levi turns to the kids who are frustratingly almost as tall as he is. “You two ever been to a rodeo before?”

Farlan just scowls, but Isabel scoffs. “Everyone and their grandma’s been to a fuckin’ rodeo! No one gives a shit!”

Farlan elbows her in the ribs. “Shut up, Isabel,” he hisses, and she adopts a scowl of her own.

Levi blinks. “Okay.” He turns to Kenny. “Take ‘em over to the arena and we’ll get them started I guess.”

“You got it. Common kiddies!” Kenny puts his hand back on their shoulders as he guides them to the arena.

It isn’t long before Levi realizes he’s got his hands full with Isabel and Farlan. They’re like wild animals and it’s frighteningly familiar. Levi decides to take them on himself rather than have them join the larger group lessons. They muck stalls and clean corrals, they learn the basics of how to ride a horse and start learning how to swing a rope. Neither one is too keen on any of it, but Levi sees them both pause to watch whenever the bulls are being bucked. Of course. The tough kids want to do the toughest looking event; where guts play as big a role as any technical skill. It was the same for Levi when he first started rodeo. If you can ride a bull, it’s like you have nothing left to prove, not to yourself, not to anyone. 

Maybe that’s why Levi decided to teach them bull riding. 

“Shoulders back, keep your knees relaxed.” 

The mechanical bull swings around lazily, bumping up and down. It’s more like a rocking horse than an actual bull. 

Farlan lets go of the bull rope, folding his arms across his chest. “This is boring, Levi. When do we get to ride the real bulls?”

“Oh, I dunno,” says Levi. He pulls a remote out of his pocket and dials up the mechanical bull’s speed. The bull shudders and jerks, spins left then changes direction while popping up two feet. Caught off guard, Farlan scrambles to grab the rope again, but to no avail. He’s tossed and ends up with a mouthful of dirt. 

Levi walks over to him and looks down at his prone form. “How about you can ride a real bull when you can stay on the fake one.” 

In all reality, Levi had no intention of ever letting them near a real bull. Usually, the only bull riding that happens at the camps was done by the pro riders for demonstration or exhibition purposes. But he had no objections to teaching them everything he knew about the technique, about how to read a bull, when to bail, when to stick it. 

So teach them he did and they absorbed it all like sponges. They would watch, eyes greedy, whenever Levi would do demos, hanging off the shoots, cheering with everyone else, but Levi could sense a hunger there, one that wasn’t sated by riding seasoned rope horses or wrestling docile calves. 

It was a beautiful sunny morning when the accident happened. Levi wasn’t there, he didn’t see, he couldn’t stop them, couldn’t save them. By the time he got to the arena, the EMS teams had already arrived and done what they could. But there’s not a lot that can be done when you pit two tonnes of angry animal against a couple of kids who thought they knew what they were doing.

Levi swirls the ice around in his glass. “That’s how I killed them. They trusted that what I taught them would keep them safe, that it would be enough.”

Hange was silent for a long time, her expression thoughtful. For the first time in his life, Levi feels the need to fill the silence.

“They were my responsibility and I let them down. I left not long after, moved around a lot, worked a lot, anything to forget… Never set foot near another rodeo until, well… until this summer.” He feels like he’s rambling, so he forces his jaw shut and waits, waits for a reaction from the only person, he now realizes, that he actually cares what they think of him. 

“I’m sorry,” says Hange finally. Her voice is level and her face expressionless, giving nothing away. “That’s shitty what happened, Levi. Thank you for telling me, but I… I kinda already knew.”

Levi’’s heart stutters. He feels like the floor’s just dropped out from under him.

Hange gives him a look that is almost pitying. “Google is a thing that exists, Levi.” She shakes her head, her expression returning to the blank slate from moments before.  “After what happened at Mike’s I may have done a little research. No one blames you for what happened to those kids.”

Levi slams his fist onto the table, making their glasses jump and the other patrons stare. “I do. I blame me,” he says in a low voice. “It never should have happened. If I’d been there, or if I’d never started those stupid camps, or if I’d–”

Hange reaches across the table and grabs his hand. He freezes; the words, the self-loathing that had been pouring out, like some kind of dam inside him had just burst, halts in an instant, choking him. He stares for a moment at their joined hands, then his eyes flick up to Hange’s face. It’s still uncharacteristically expressionless, but her eyes have an intensity to them that he’s not used to seeing there. Suddenly she stands up, dragging Levi with her.

“This is a good song, we should dance,” she says, and without waiting for a reply, she hauls Levi to his feet and drags him over to the small cleared space by the stage where a few other couples are stumbling and staggering around to a vague beat.

Ordinarily, Levi would have resisted. He would have dug his heels in, claimed to not know how to dance, or simply that he didn’t want to. But not only did Hange not give him the opportunity to refuse, he’s also certain she would not have taken no for an answer. And Levi finds himself being okay with that. Okay with Hange pushing him out of his comfort zone, again and again, relentlessly crashing against the walls he’s so carefully built that it was inevitable that she would eventually find her way inside.

How did it come to this? How did he let this happen? He’s certainly done nothing to deserve the friendship of someone like Hange. And yet here they are, slowly swaying around the dance floor. It might be a good song, but it’s not really a slow-dance song. And yet Levi can’t bring himself to mention it as Hange laces her fingers together around his neck. 

Hange’s a good dancer. Not surprising really; she’s actually absurdly good at everything she does in an effortless, careless kind of way that makes Levi more than a little envious. Not that he’s not good at things. Because, not to boast, he is. Dancing is just not one of them and at this moment, he finds himself wishing he could sweep Hange off her feet as thoroughly as she seems to have swept him. 

It’s all too much. He wasn’t lying; he does have a lot of regrets. The grief he feels is old now, poorly aged, hardened into something sharp and brittle, something that’s held him hostage for years. For the longest time, he would have done anything to go back and change the past. But now? Now he wonders if the tragedy that is his life had to play out exactly as it did so he could be here now, at this exact moment. If that’s the case, is it selfish of him to not want to change anything anymore? 

The guilt and shame are overwhelming, battling for centre stage with whatever the hell these feelings are that he has for Hange. He leans forward slowly until his head is resting on her shoulder. He can feel her tense up for a moment but she doesn’t push him away. 

“Thank you,” he says. 

He’s not sure what for exactly. His emotional walls were meant to keep people out. But they also inadvertently served to keep him in, keep him separate from everyone else, protecting them, shielding them. Instead, he just ended up drowning in his own ocean of emotional turmoil.

Hange doesn’t question it. “Of course,” she says. One hand slides up to rest on the back of his head. A simple gesture, insignificant, yet more comforting than anything Levi has ever experienced. 

The song ends and the band strikes up the next one, an actual slow song, a ballad of some kind, vaguely familiar. 

“You know, when you finally said you wanted to talk, I was actually expecting you to have more to say,” says Hange. 

“Tell me what you want me to say. I’ll say it,” he says into her shoulder. 

Hange laughs. “That’s not how emotional vulnerability is supposed to work, Mr. Clean.”

“Well, I’m pretty new to it, so you’ll have to teach me.” 

“Hmm, I don’t think I’m really qualified for that,” she says, and he can hear the smile in her voice. “But I can recommend a good therapist.”

Levi almost laughs. He lifts his head and looks her in the eyes. “If you’d said that to me four months ago, I would have wanted to punch you.”

“Common, don’t lie. You still kinda do, don’t you?”

He shakes his head. “Yes, I do. But I would never. Because I’ve grown.”

Hange takes one hand away from around his neck and mimes measuring his height against hers. “Have you, though?”

“Oh my God, you’re making this hard.”

He can see Hange’s eye light up and before she can even open her mouth her cuts in. “And I know what joke you’re about to make. Don’t.”

She laughs. “Fine, fine. I’m sorry,” she says. “But seriously. I do know a good therapist.”

Levi sighs. “I – I’ll keep it in mind.” 

They revolve slowly on the spot as the song draws to a close, the band more on tune than they have been all evening. 

Hange drops Levi off back at the ranch. He watches the tail lights of her truck retreating down the road as she heads home before heading up to his loft. 

He feels like a weight has been lifted. It’s strange. The accident all those years ago had never been a secret. It made headline news at the time. For whatever reason, he thought that locking it up inside himself would do the same out in the world at large. And finally letting it go tonight was… liberating. The breeze blowing in off the dark prairie tastes sweeter now, the stars seem more numerous and impossibly brighter. Very strange indeed. Levi wasn’t used to talking about himself, sharing his thoughts and feelings. But if it felt this good all the time, he might be able to get used to it. 

Though that feeling might have little to do with what was said and everything to do with who he said it to. 

Hange. Hange is a problem. Levi is not unfamiliar with attraction, with love, or more accurately, lust. But this is different. It’s deeper, more solid than any of the feelings he’s ever had from his past encounters. He’s not even sure what to call it. A crush sounds too juvenile, and yet that’s a fairly accurate description for how his heart has started feeling when Hange laughs, or smiles, or looks at him, or… stands nearby. 

As Levi lays in bed, waiting for sleep to claim him, he realizes that he should have said something to Hange tonight. It was the perfect opportunity. Maybe she’d even been expecting it. He also realizes, with a sickening lurch, that he is running out of time. She’s going back to school this fall. She’ll be leaving, and he’ll be damned if he lets her slip away. His heart doesn’t have room for any more regrets.

Chapter Text

Levi had every intention of talking to Hange immediately. That’s an easy commitment to make while staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night. Actually acting on it in broad daylight is something else entirely. 

The days play out in the same way they have all summer. They meet up in the shop and plan out the day, then they each go their separate ways, completing their own tasks, occasionally crossing paths. Hange sometimes pitches in and helps with the horses still, and Levi returns the favour whenever she needs an extra set of hands. You’d think there would be plenty of opportunities to just spit it out. And yet anytime that seemed like a good time, Levi would choke. The words, so carefully formulated in his mind, getting garbled somewhere while en route to his mouth.

Levi’s never been the type to get nervous. He has never cared what people thought or felt about him. But now, for what very well may be the first time, he does care, and it’s completely hamstringing his ability to even convey that sentiment. It’s utterly idiotic. And the worst part is he’s about ninety-nine percent sure that the longer he waits, the longer this takes, the harder it will be. 

It’s early one afternoon and Levi is out riding one of the colts in a field that’s been allowed to lie fallow, the deep soil making the young horse really work up a sweat. The sky is cloudless as Levi asks his horse for a little more speed, caving to the temptation to feel the still summer air rush past him, feel the thunder of hooves beneath him. Maybe it’ll even help clear his head. 

His horse has only taken a few strides when a horn blares behind them. Levi’s heart jumps to his throat and he sits back hard, pulling the horse to a stop as one of the ranch’s junker pickup trucks rattles up beside them, Hange leaning out of the window, waving. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Levi as the truck rolls to a stop beside him, sinking a few inches in the soft earth. 

Hange shuts off the ignition and smiles up at him. “Nothing. Does something have to be wrong for me to come out here and see you?”

“No, but since I’ll be coming back to the barn in another half hour or so, I don’t know why you wouldn’t’ve just waited unless it was an emergency,” says Levi.

“Surely you know me better than that by now,” says Hange, tilting her head to look up at him over her glasses. “I have something to tell you, so I’m going to tell you now.”

Levi feels his traitorous heart start to beat faster while his breath catches in his lungs. “Oh?” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t sound as strangled as he feels.  

“Yeah,” she says. She rummages through the papers on the dash until she finds a notepad covered in her trademarked chicken scratches. “I just got a call from Erwin. He’s still caught up with business and will be away for another few weeks.”

“Oh,” says Levi again, deflating, not unlike a balloon.

Hange is oblivious, as usual. “Yeah,” she continues. “He wants you to make a list of which colts you think he should sell this fall, if you even think he should sell any at all, then he needs us to check all the fences out west so it’s ready for the winter. And then I’m supposed to show you how to run the chopper so you can take over when I leave if Erwin’s not back by then. Are you staying on over the winter?”

Levi had let the rush of words wash over him, only half paying attention as Hange rambled off her list, allowing his own mild disappointment to take centre stage in his mind. So the question catches him off guard.

“What?”

“This winter. Are you going to keep working for Erwin?”

Levi adjusts his reins, the leather buttery soft in his hands. “I haven’t talked to Erwin about it yet. Our agreement was just to start the horses but…”

“But?”

“I’d like to stay on,” says Levi, looking away from Hange’s face, not wanting to read into anything that may or may not be there. “If there’s work, if Erwin can use me, I’d stay.”

“Mmm. Well, there’s always work on a ranch,” says Hange, fumbling the keys in the ignition as the truck sputters to life. “Maybe call Erwin.”

Levi nods. “Yeah, I probably should. It’d be nice to have it squared away.”

“Okay, well, see you back at the barn,” Hange says, revving the truck. 

But instead of rolling away, the tires just spin, pulling the truck deeper into the ground. 

“Shit.”

Levi can’t help it. He laughs. “I’m not sure what you expected, Shitty Glasses,” he says, shaking his head as she tries alternating between drive and reverse. “Weren’t you the one to disc this field last week?”

“Yes,” says Hange through gritted teeth. “It would be fine, except Erwin keeps buying gutless auctionmart junk with no four wheel drive!”

Levi laughs again as Hange, defeated at last, slumps forward to rest her head on the steering wheel, making the horn sound mournfully.

“Levi,” she says, turning to look at him, shamelessly pouting. “Can I bum a ride back to the barn?”

Levi glances down at his horse. Sage is easily the smartest of all the colts and fairly mellow. Surely he won’t object to a second passenger. 

He shrugs at Hange. “Sure. But don’t blame me if he bucks us both off.”

Hange shuts off the truck again and jumps out. “The ground’s so soft, it’s not like it’ll hurt anyway.”

Levi kicks one foot out of his stirrup and offers his hand to Hange. She takes it, and putting her own foot in the stirrup, swings up behind him in one fluid motion. Sage tenses for a moment but quickly quiets at a few soft words and a steady hand on his neck. 

“God, you’re such a horse whisperer,” says Hange into Levi’s ear, one arm slipping around his waist. 

Levi’s glad Hange can’t see his face. “You good back there?”

“Perfect.”

Levi nods then nudges Sage with his heels, urging him into a jog as they make their way steadily back to the barn.

Yet another missed opportunity, Levi laments as he unsaddles Sage later. The ride back had been very enjoyable. Distractingly so. Levi had been content to let Hange talk the whole time, planning a full day trip out west so they could check fences while he relished the extended close proximity and the way her arm tightened ever so slightly around his waist every time Sage changed gaits. 

He really has it bad. 

He’s just turned Sage out, and is tidying up the barn when he hears the ridiculous meep meep of the tractor horn outside.

A moment later, Hange pokes her head into the barn. “Hey,” she says, “Can I beg another favour? Help me tow the truck out of the field?” 

“Sure,” says Levi, reaching to hang up a few halters. “But what do I get out of it?”

He’d said it without thinking, an easy bit of banter, but quick as a whip, Hange closes the distance between them and plants a kiss on his cheek. Levi freezes, completely caught off guard. He turns on the spot to stare at Hange, a hand creeping up to rest on his rapidly warming cheek.

She smirks. “Will that do?” 

Levi clears his throat. “Ah, yes. That… works. I’ll be right out.”

Hange spins on her heel and heads back to the tractor, leaving Levi alone with a misbehaving heart and muddled thoughts. 

Neither one of them mentions the kiss again. It was just a friendly kiss on the cheek after all, Levi reasons. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But, damn, he has never wanted something to mean so much in his entire life. It feels like there are whole universes between the lines, and he’s reading like his life depends on it. 

And then there’s Hange. Carefree as the summer breeze, completely unaffected by everything left unsaid between them. Levi watches her as the week draws to a close, noting her intensity, the direct and intentional way she approaches every task. Levi’s never claimed to be the smartest guy around, so if he’s picking up signs, it’s got to be because she’s putting them there. Right?

They’ll be leaving tomorrow to check fences out west. Hange made a big deal about it, planning a whole dawn ‘til dusk trip complete with a pack horse. It is over 900 acres so maybe the thorough planning is warranted but Levi has other things besides splicing barbed wire on his mind. He is determined to clear the air between them while they’re out west. He has to. His cardiovascular health depends on it. 

If Levi thought 6 AM to be an ungodly hour, 4 AM is downright hellish. But that’s the time Hange deemed it necessary to be up so they could be on the road by five and in the saddle by seven. And it’s probably only because it’s Hange that he manages to keep his grumbling to a minimum.

Hange pulls the truck and trailer up to the barn and starts loading up saddles and bridles and spares of almost everything else they might need. Levi wanders out to catch three of the colts, two to ride and one to pack the fencing supplies and extra gear. They work in efficient, productive silence, it being far too early for words, the predawn hush like a weight on the chest, demanding the quiet go undisturbed. 

Once everything, including horses, is loaded, they finally take a minute in the shop. Hange nursing a black coffee, Levi his trademark tea. 

“We made pretty good time getting ready,” says Hange, her voice still rough with sleep as she glances at the clock.

“Does that mean we didn’t actually have to get up this early?” asks Levi. 

Hange hums. “Maybe. But I’d rather get an early start than be trying to fix fence after dark.”

Levi nods, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand. “True enough.” He downs the rest of his tea in one gulp, before getting to his feet. “Shall we head out?”

Hange takes a deep breath, then claps her hands to her cheeks a few times, presumably to jolt out any remnants of sleep. “Yes. Let’s.”

It’s not a difficult job, checking fence, but the sheer amount of fence that needs checked, keeps them moving at a brisk pace all morning. Fortunately, very little is needed in the way of repairs. At least, until around noon.

Hange had gone on ahead of Levi, loping easily along the fenceline, when he sees her horse stumble, nearly unseating her. His heart in his throat, Levi kicks his horse up into a brisk trot, clucking to the pack horse who is trailing along behind them. 

As he draws nearer, he sees Hange step off her horse and wave at him. “We’re fine,” she calls, “But watch out for the wire.”

Levi pulls his horses up and sure enough a dozen steps away are coils of twisted and stretched barbed wire hidden in the tall grass, just waiting to ensnare the leg of the unsuspecting. He glances to the fence and sees the wire missing from five posts, the staples torn clear off. 

“What the hell happened?” he asks, carefully guiding his horses closer to Hange. 

“Not sure,” says Hange, straightening up from running her hands over her horse’s legs, looking for any cuts. “Elk maybe, or a moose.”

“I’m surprised it didn’t get tangled up.”

“It probably did,” says Hange. “That would explain how it wrecked so much fence.”

Levi grimaces. It’s an unpleasant picture. They don’t call barbed wire the devil’s rope for nothing. He steps off, tying both horses up to a nearby tree before starting to unpack their tools. Hange ties her horse up alongside the others before checking the condition of the fence posts. Luckily, it’s just the wire that needs replacing. Working together they untangle the wires, salvaging what they can of the old stuff. Splicing one end, pulling it taut, then splicing the other end. Pounding staples, then Hange fetches a few sticks, twisting it in the wire to tighten it the rest of the way. It takes a little less than an hour to replace all three strands of the fence.

“Well, that’s done,” says Hange. She looks over to the horses, peacefully dozing in the shade. “Should we have lunch now, since we’re already stopped?” 

Levi shrugs. “Might as well.”

They walk back over to where the horses are tied. Levi repacks the tools and excess wire while Hange pulls out a couple sandwiches and a box of granola bars. They find a shady spot nearby in a grove of poplar trees. 

Hange goes to plop down on the ground, but Levi stops her. “Wait, the ground might be damp.”

He goes back to the horses and unties his jacket from the back of his saddle. Shaking it out, he lays it on the ground with a flourish. “There,” he says, satisfied. 

Hange shoots him a bemused look before dropping down in a heap on the jacket. “My hero,” she says. “But what about your ass? Won’t it get wet, now?” 

“My ass will be fine,” he says, sitting down beside her, resting his back against a tree, and hooking his hat over one knee. 

“Hmm, yes, very fine,” murmurs Hange taking a bite of her PB and J. Levi isn’t entirely sure if he was meant to hear that or not. 

He watches her as she eats, completely lost in the way her jaw moves, the way her eyes unfocus as they scan the distant mountains. He’s so thoroughly caught up in her gravity, the very weight of her existence drawing him in, trapping him. It’s probably been happening this whole time, all summer, but he just didn’t notice it until now. And like a fly caught in amber, there’s no escape. Only Hange. 

The thought is as thrilling as it is terrifying. Thrilling because of what could be. Terrifying because it’s far from a sure thing. But you can’t win if you don’t compete. It’s now or never. Taking a deep breath, Levi opens his mouth. 

“Hange, I—”

“I could stay out here forever, you know?”

Levi blinks, then giving his head a shake, rolls with the conversation. “Here?” 

“Yeah. Well, not here here, necessarily, but just… away from everything.” 

She’s not looking at him, or at anything in particular as far as he can tell. But he gets it, gets what she means. He closes his eyes and breathes in the clear country air, listens to the sounds of the natural world, devoid of any of the noise from humans and their baggage. It’s like the shackles that society binds on them, on everyone, just slip off once there’s only blue skies and wildflowers for as far as the eye can see. Blue skies and wild flowers… and Hange. 

Levi looks over at her again. And realises that she makes him feel the same way. Like he’s free. 

“We can stay here,” he says. 

Hange turns her head to look at him, her expression thoughtful. “If only,” she says, though the way she says it makes Levi sure his meaning got missed. 

“I mean, this, here,” he says waving his arms a bit, trying to indicate the two of them but he finds his arms just aren’t big enough to hold everything that’s between them now. “Hange, you— what I mean to say is—” He lets out a frustrated breath. 

Hange turns to face him, shuffling closer, leaning towards him ever so slightly, the intensity in her eyes, her posture, somehow more than he’s ever seen it before. It’s relentless, and if he could wish for anything at the moment it would simply be for his heart to be laid bare, for her to just be able to see inside him and know how he feels, to know what his tongue is too clumsy to articulate. 

And then, she saves him, like she always has. Like he knows she always will. 

In much the same way that she used to barrel into the door of his loft, she crashed into him now, her lips meeting his and it’s like he’s been struck by lightning despite the cloudless sky above them. The kiss might last a second, or it might last a century, Levi’s not sure, and he sure as hell doesn’t care, because nothing in his entire life has ever felt quite as right as this. 

Eventually, Hange pulls away, her eyes closed, and rests her head on his chest. He can feel his heart beating a mile a minute, he doesn’t doubt for a second that she can hear it, too. He prays to whatever gods care to listen that she can understand it’s morse coded message: I love you, I love you, I love you.

He lifts a hand and rests it on the back of her head, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her; leather, horses, and pine.

“You mean the world to me,” he says, unable to speak above a whisper, unwilling to disrupt the symphony of the breeze blowing through the grass and trees all around them. 

Hange’s shoulders start shaking, and for a split second Levi’s afraid she’s crying, but when Hange leans back to look at him she has a big shiteating grin on her face. Of course. Only she would laugh at a moment like this. 

“I know,” she says in the same hushed tone. She shrugs. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Levi purses his lips, mentally kicking himself for weeks of unnecessary self-inflicted torture. But it’s all out there now. Everything’s on the table. There’s no going back. But really, he’d rather die than change a single thing. He’s right where he wants to be. Maybe right where he was always meant to be. 

Levi is the one to lean in this time, planting a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Well, I’m glad we cleared that up, Shitty Glasses.”

At that, Hange throws her head back and laughs and it’s music to Levi’s ears. 

They finish checking fences, only needing to replace the odd staple here and there. The sun is low in the sky when the truck and trailer finally come into view as they crest the final hill. 

“Hey, Levi,” says Hange, riding so close beside him their feet keep bumping into each other. 

“Yes?”

“I’m going back to school.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” He glances over at her, but her face is unreadable. Even so, he has a pretty good idea what she’s getting at. 

“You attend university in the city, right?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“And it’s, what? An hour away?”

“Give or take.”

“Okay,” says Levi. “That’s an easy drive. Book me in for lunch every Sunday for the foreseeable future.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a faint blush rise on her cheeks. He gets the feeling most people in her life never go that far out of their way for her. He doesn’t bother to mention she could be going to school an ocean away and he’d find a way to still see her. 

This may be the most cliche thing he’s ever done, but on a whim he frees up a hand and reaches out to her. She glances at his hand, and then his face, and after a moment of hesitation, takes it. Levi can’t help the smile stretching across his face as, hand in hand, they literally ride into the sunset. 

The last couple weeks before Hange leaves are like something out of a dream. The days are fast getting shorter and the mornings colder. Hange eventually lets him know that she usually comes home on the weekends, and sometimes still works for Erwin if he needs it. Levi only answered with a kiss to her cheek and a promise to visit any weekend she didn’t make it back. 

Levi also eventually calls Erwin to sort out his winter employment. That turned out to be a complete non issue. Erwin seemed surprised he even needed to ask, having fully expected Levi to stick around. 

“I’ve had people asking to send horses next spring for you to start, Levi,” he’d said. “And I definitely will need you this winter.”

“It was more than Levi dared to hope for, but he still managed to negotiate a raise into the deal. 

The night before Hange leaves finds them once again eating at the local bar. Greasy food and bad music aside, Levi finds he’s grown rather fond of the place. He’s also glad that nothing really seems to have changed at all between Hange and himself. Not that he expected it too. They’re both adults, after all. They are capable of maintaining professional appearances while at work, minus the odd stolen kiss or lingering glance every now and then. And it’s easy now, over dinner, to just place his hand on top of hers, watching as a slow smile spreads over her face and she twists her hand to lace her fingers with his. So much in life is complicated, it’s a relief that this comes so easy. 

“I’m glad you came to work for Erwin this summer,” says Hange, her thumb brushing over his knuckles.

Levi’s eyes hold her gaze. “And I’m glad you’re Erwin’s neighbour.”

Hange chuckles. “Funny how things work out, huh.”

If Levi believed in fate he might say it was meant to be. If he believed in God he might say they were blessed. But the only thing Levi really believes in at the moment is Hange. 

“I wouldn’t say it’s funny,” he says.

“Oh? What would you say, then?”

He smiles easily. “Perfect.”

Chapter Text

One year. In exactly two days it will have been one year since Hange came barreling into Levi’s life. In the grand scheme of things, it’s no time at all, a tiny fraction of his life thus far. But thinking back on everything that’s happened, this past year and even before, and looking forward to what he hopes the future will bring… Well, one year can be life changing. 

The smell of spring is in the air. In places without livestock, that might smell like rain, early blooms, or cool breezes. On a ranch it smells like thawing manure. Unpleasant to say the least, but once the gag reflex wears off, it’s full of the promise of warmer weather. 

Levi takes a deep breath, eyes scanning the horizon behind the barn at Rafter 104 Ranch. It had been a long, cold winter. More snow than Levi is used to dealing with, and longer cold snaps than he ever wants to experience again. But as the ice melts and the horses start shedding, he’s filled with an inexplicable kind of optimism. It’s a feeling he’s not really used to, something he hasn’t felt for years. 

The scary thing about optimism is that it assures nothing. The glass can just as easily be upturned over your head regardless of if you think it’s half full or half empty. But it’s just too easy to feel optimistic about the future when he pictures a future with Hange in it. 

His hand absently brushes over the pocket of his jean jacket where a small velvet box is securely tucked. It’s nothing grand or gaudy, a simple whitegold band with three small diamonds set flush with the metal so as to not get caught in any tangled manes. It’s practical, timeless, and simple. It’s exactly to Levi’s tastes and he’s confident Hange will love it, too. Though he’s fairly sure Hange would accept a Ring Pop if that’s all he had. Actually, knowing Hange she might even prefer it. 

Ah, well. Too late now. 

He hears the sound of tires on gravel, and he turns away from the prairie view to welcome the new arrivals. The winter had been slow as far as horse training went. There’s only so many days in a row you can force yourself to saddle up in subzero temperatures. But with the onset of better weather, Erwin has arranged for a new batch of colts to be dropped off for training. Some are ones Erwin bought at various sales or from breeders, the rest belong to friends or colleagues or local ranchers. Eighteen horses in total. Perhaps it’s a bit ambitious to be taking on so many all at once, but Levi’s not worried. Just one of the benefits of optimism, he muses, watching as the colts are unloaded off the trailer, nothing seems to worry him anymore. 

The colts are divided up and turned out into three of the larger corrals. Levi throws them some hay, and double checks the automatic waterers are working properly before he leans on the fence and watches the horse eat and bicker and try to settle. 

“Sure looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you this summer,” says Erwin, leaning on the fence next to Levi. 

Levi nods. “It does look that way. But it’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.”

Erwin surveys him from the corner of his eye, an uncomfortably knowing look on his face. “Hange comes back today, doesn’t she,” he says. It’s not a question and even if it were, Erwin damn well knows the answer.

Levi and Hange never explicitly made the nature of their relationship public. But they also never took any pains to hide it either. People could ask about it, or make assumptions, or gossip to their heart’s content. They really couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that all their plans for the future now included each other. 

“She does,” says Levi. 

“Any big announcements in the works?”

Levi almost laughs. “Who knows?” he says with a shrug. 

The rest of the day passes peacefully; feeding the cows; checking on Erwin’s newest pet project, a herd of forty bison; and setting out new round bales in the river pasture for the ranch horses. If Levi’s eyes wander towards the driveway more often than usual, it’s only to be expected. 

This early in the season means the sun still sets mid afternoon. Levi is sweeping the barn one last time before calling it a day, when he hears the familiar roar of a certain pickup truck. The smile on his face is automatic at this point. The broom falls to the floor as he steps to the door and watches as Hange’s reliable rust bucket chugs into the yard. She waves furiously from behind the wheel when she spots him. The truck’s only just stopped when she kills the ignition and jumps out, sprinting towards him. 

Levi debates stepping aside and letting her blow past him through the barn door. It’s still funny no matter how many times they play this game, but he decides against it. The question he wants to ask her will probably go over better with her in his arms than with her sprawled on the floor anyway. So he braces for impact. The impact of Hange right here and now, and the impact of her on the rest of his life.

He doesn’t have much to offer her. All he has is what he is. There’s no house, or white picket fence. No pension, or promise of luxury. Just him and all his baggage. But if she’s okay with that, if she’s willing to be patient with him as he figures out how to take care of more than just himself, he will gladly give her his whole heart, his whole soul. He would find that spot somewhere out west, somewhere where you can’t hear a highway or spot a power line. He would break his back to give it to her. And then they could just stay out there forever, away from people and their problems. Enjoying sunrises and good horses, watching as the wind blows through the grass, making the open prairie look like the ocean. Everything he has and is, is hers. And it always has been. 

~Fin~