Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lena should not have worn a pencil skirt to work today.

The fabric pulled taut around her thighs and her bare knees hurt from the coarse carpet where she knelt against.

“I need those printed hours ago, Kieran!” A disembodied voice boomed somewhere behind.

She rolled her eyes. It’s barely a minute since the printer machine stopped printing. And she damn well didn’t need hours to yank the paper that’s stuck in the inside tray.

Straightening herself, the whir of the machine started again smoothly.

“Here you go,” Lena said, producing a stack of freshly printed papers to her boss, Frances who barely spared a glance. A noncommittal hum was all the replied as she gets back to her work.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Lena turned around to do the same.

For the umpteenth time that day, she refreshed her email inbox. Unsurprisingly, there’s no new message. There was once a time when she dreamed of doing something significant in the span of her life. Like curing cancer or providing clean energy to the world—not holed up in a job way below her qualifications, wasting away. As it was, eventually, her dreams too became nothing more.  

The moment where everything fell apart for Lena, the moment that reality gave a harsh slap on her face was the day a cab was waiting outside the Luthor’s mansion a day after she came home after so many years away. She had barely left the mausoleum when Lex hooked his arm around one of hers, leading the path back to the manor. A letter was presented and her fate was sealed.

“This must be a mistake…right, Lex?” She had asked after having read it. The words CatCo, National City and apprenticeship imprinted in her vision.

Lex only smiles sadly, patting the back of her hand that he still held. “I’m afraid not.”

Lena pulled her arm loose, facing her brother. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Confusion gave way to bitter feelings. Her chest hurt from the phantom blade that added another tear to her insides. Lena knew why. When Lionel died, she never got the chance to say goodbye at that time, not until now. The funeral was a huge affair, everyone that mattered were there. News and media outlets were granted permission for full coverage, and Lena got to be a part of it from a dingy TV mounted on a wall, sitting among her not so-called friends with judging eyes and harsh whispers, miles away from home.

It was foolish of her to hope things would change once she’s served her time.

“I love you, sis.” Lex placated. Eyes soft. “But you know your being here would only cause unrest to everything that Father had built. His legacy—our family’s legacy will be in jeopardy. You can’t stay in Metropolis.”

She thought of being all alone in a strange city and of even stranger people for the second time. Dread crawled its way up her throat. “I want to help make a difference where it matters in LuthorCorp Lex, not Catco. No one even needs to know who I am, like always.” She pleaded. The paper in her hand scrunched at the taut grip.

“Lena,” he sighed, squeezing her shoulders a shy too hard for it to hurt. “You should be grateful for this. Not many convicts can say they got a roof above their head, a respected job and all the wealth of a Luthor to last five generations.”

Lena tried not to flinch at the words, masking her face to indifference instead. Lex patted her cheek affectionately before planting a kiss at her temple. “Mother and I love you. Never ever doubt that… Come on, I’ll help you pack.”

Blinking back, the memory faded, replaced by the all too familiar barren email inbox. Her vision starts to water and hastily she gets up to distance herself from the offensive blue light emitted from the desktop screen. Clearly, that’s all there was to it, not because of her own self-pity.

Luthors don’t cry. Lillian once said, and Lena is a Luthor after all—even if it’s only half of it.

She found herself wandering aimlessly along the hallway, her limbs moving on her own consensus. Vaguely, she registered a vending machine at the end of the hall and decided to munch her feelings away. Ten steps away from it, however, a streak of pink beat her to it.

The pink blur materialized into a woman in a blonde bun. Her pink button-up stretched to reveal a strong-looking set of shoulders tucked inside midnight blue slim-fitting slacks, brown leather belt secured her small waist from behind.

Not that Lena was staring. She just wanted a granola bar.

So patiently, she waited for the blonde stranger to make her choice. But instead, what greeted her were sniffles and a low mumbling. Tilting her head to see better, there was nothing unusual besides the woman’s growing distress.

“Excuse me,” The woman flinched as if only realizing there was someone else with her.

Hastily, she wiped at her tear-streaked cheeks which Lena pretended she didn’t notice. “Oh, gosh. Sorry! Are you—Do you want to use— Of course, you want to get something too. Why else would you be here. Sorry. I just realized I didn’t bring any money with me.”

Clear sky-blue eyes owlishly stare at her. Lena blinks back. “What do you want? I have enough money.”

“Really?”

A note far too much slid into the vending machine before Lena pushed a button for her granola bars to prove a point.

“Well, can I have the cookies, please?” The blonde spoke timidly, adjusting her glasses. “And the pretzels, M&Ms, the peanuts one and the regular, and Snickers.”

A brow rose incredulously but Lena pressed every selection without missing a beat. “Anything else?”

“Oh, two beef jerky and a soda if you don’t mind, or maybe two sodas? Do you want a soda?”

Lena bites back a smile. “No, the water’s fine for me.”

As soon as the vending machine vomited their food rather violently, the blonde crouched down and swept everything into her arms. A smile so wide and bright enough to blind anyone by its sheer intensity was on her face.

“Wow, thank you so much for this. You saved my life.” She moved so fast that Lena missed grabbing her own portion from her grip. So, she had to follow after the blonde as she placed her load safely onto a small table and took a seat. Still, with a smile, mesmerizing cerulean eyes found hers again. “You’re my hero.”

Lena stilled. Blood rushed through her heart and heat crept up her neck. She yanked a chair opposite the blonde and plopped herself down. “You’re welcome. Get me five granola bars next time and we’re even.”

That was not what she wanted to say. At all. She sounded all snobbish and wrong. Fearing that she had offended the woman, she avoided those kind eyes and reached for her cursed granola bars and bottle of water.

“Deal!” A voice chirped. Lena emerged behind the curtain of her hair to find the said woman happily stuffing her face. It was both endearing and appalling. “I’m Kara Danvers, from Editorial.”

A hand was extended and waiting unwaveringly in the air. Lena didn’t know what made her extend hers too—probably the fact that beautiful blue eyes with an equal stunning smile were presented in an open invitation. But she stopped herself, just barely touching the skin presented before pulling back with growing panic as she realized the disaster that could happen if the woman in front was to be more than a friendly colleague.

And by the way the blonde—Kara, she reminded herself—seemed to pull back almost at the same time lessened Lena’s fear considerably. At least, she’s not the only one with a secret far too risky to share with a potential soulmate. Though, she doubted anyone could top hers.

“Lena. Marketing.” It had grown far too awkward and too long before she said it.

But, Kara took it in stride. Wiping the stillness and gifted an honest smile as if they weren’t potentially breaking down at the prospect of sharing each other’s secrets moments before.

“Are you new? I’ve never seen you before.” Kara’s grin turned brighter by the second, already forgetting the elephant in the room.

“Just started two weeks ago.”

“Ah, no wonder. I know everyone in CatCo. I was Cat’s assistant for five years before I move to Editorial and become a reporter. So… how do you find it here so far?”

Lena managed a shrug, overwhelmed that the blonde was genuinely interested.

Kara misinterpreted it, a cute crinkle formed between her brows. “That bad, huh?”

“No, no…not bad,” Lena quickly corrected. “Just bored.” At the questioning look, she continued, “They don’t really give me anything to do. I don’t even think they need new hire right now.”

“Then, why…?”

There was a pause in the air that might have lasted only a second but for Lena, it seemed to stretch on forever as she debated what to say. Something about Kara and her calming presence made it easy to tell the truth though so she did.

“My family pull some string so here I am.”

Kara definitely had paused then. Her chewing stopped, eyes unblinking as gears turned inside her head. “Oh.”

She looked uncomfortable and Lena cursed herself inwardly. Since when had the truth ever done her any favour?

“I better get back or else they’re going to send a search party.” She tried smiling, but it felt unnatural along her lips.

Without waiting for any kind of response, she all but fled, barely snatching her untouched granola bars and bottle of water. Despite her quickening steps, they felt awfully leaden and the feel of Kara’s burning stare at the back of her head only weighed them more.

No one batted an eyelid at her entrance back in the office. She tossed her bounty inside a drawer and shut it closed, willing the warmth of sky blue eyes and sunny smile to be locked away as well. Closing her email tab, Lena opened a new browser. Determination replacing whatever that was moments ago.

She will not waste away. She’ll prove to Lex and Lillian how worthy of a Luthor she really is.

******

Papers were scattered all over her desk. Drawings and calculations even Lena had a hard time distinguishing where they came from strewn about and pinned on her little task board that days ago were bare.

Time moved relentlessly. Not that she noticed. Her surroundings became a blur and white noises as she worked—actually worked, using her brain and hands.

“Guess you found something to do.”

Lena froze mid-calculation, sure that Frances was going to ask her to print something mundane again. Instead, she found familiar blue eyes.

“Kara,” The said woman adjusted her already perfect glasses and gave a small smile, almost shy.

Lena stood and stared dumbly taking the blonde in. Warmth began to bloom again inside her chest.

“Who would’ve thought you’re a Hardy-Weinberg Principle kinda gal.” Kara suddenly said as her gaze fixed on one of the many sticky notes. Lena had a hard time computing the social cue, still regulating if the blonde was really there. At the growing silence, Kara forced a chuckle. “Not that you can’t be. Obviously, you know the theorem really well… did you use HWP to find DNA mutation? And nanocarrier in the same calculation? Gosh, is that possible?”

Finally getting a hold of herself, Lena managed an answer. “No. Not yet at least.”

“Huh. I’m sorry…this is the marketing department, right?” Kara asked, trying hard to smooth the line of her smile.

Lena did not. “Says the reporter of a media company who knows bioengineering principles.”

“I read a lot?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

Kara huffed, feigning offence. “What’s your reason?”

“I had a PhD in mechanical engineering, minor in biomedical and computer science,” Lena said as a matter of fact.

“What? Get out of here!”

“You have no idea.”

“Lena! Why didn’t you say that you’re a genius?”

Kara honest to god seemed to be waiting for an answer. “Um, I’m sorry?”

“That’s fine. I’ll let it slide if you let me know what you’re trying to do here.”

Lena forced herself not to fidget, choosing to cross her arms. “Finding a cure for cancer.”

Instead of laughing, Kara’s eyes widened in awe. “You really are a hero."

The warmth in those cerulean eyes grew to a point of almost uncomfortable. “There’s still a lot to do. I barely scratch the surface and I’m not any closer than any scientist before me. There are too many variables and causes I need to go through and it’s not like I found any new discovery or revolution or anything like that. It’s more or less what I already did in my final year’s exposition.” She paused, only noticing that she had blabbered on.

Lena did not blabber. Ever. Horrified, she settled at a minuscule, “It’s nothing really.”

Kara didn’t smile any more but her features softened and became certain. “No, it’s everything … You’re a good person, Lena.” She then produced a granola bar out of nowhere and placed it at the side of the table.

Lena remembered the debt they had agreed to. “There’s only one.”

“I know,” Kara said brightly, slowly retreating without breaking her gaze. “I’ll get you another one tomorrow!” She promised before turning and disappearing down the aisles.

Lena unceremoniously fell down her seat, her mind playing on repeat what Kara said last. A heavy breath left her mouth and she closed her eyes as regret started to fill in. She should’ve asked for more than five granola bars.

******

It was well past ten in the evening that Lena decided to go for a run. She had been working on her research all day, continuing them at her house once she got back and decided to finally stop when all the letters and numbers might possibly drown her. All of the other tools she ordered online had yet to arrive. So, with nothing left to do, she changed to more comfortable attire, put her hair up in a loose ponytail, grabbed her keys and walked out.

Gradually, sweat began to form as she pushed herself harder and harder along the walking path. Willing every thought in her mind to be swept away by the wind gushing through her body. Only when her sides screamed and her chest heaved fiercely did Lena stop running. Bending over in gasping breath as air filled her lungs again.

The city’s park was left almost abandoned. A few stragglers walking along the path and a few others who had the same mind as hers jogging the opposite way. Once she was able to catch her breath again, she started walking the direction back to her house, enjoying the cool wind that was caressing her damp skin.

Just then, a tiny mewl stopped her track right on top of a bridge. Lena wiped the sweat off her brow and looked around, noting that she was all alone. Though, she didn’t have the luxury to feel uneasy about the vacant park when another yowl, louder this time, broke her concentration again.

Moving to lean down the railing, she used her phone’s flashlight to light up under the bridge. Three sets of eyes belonging to three kittens stared back at her.

“Well,” She breathed, feeling both relieved and troubled.

For a while, Lena did nothing but stared at the open space, weighing her choice. Another pitiful cry under her feet decided to make the choice for her and with a sigh, she walked down the bridge before climbing into the ditch. Her foot found purchase near the steep bank and ever so carefully she moved further and further towards the waiting kittens.

“Come on then. Your saviour’s here.” She unzipped her windbreaker and gathered the tiny ball of fluffs into her jacket. The little devils didn’t make it easy. One was running away and another was jumping back out from the makeshift carrier.

Only minutes later when her thighs felt like cramping did she finally have them all secured. Turning to get out of there as fast as she could, her feet lose their footing just as she came out under the bridge. “Fuck!” The ditch—no, it’s a fucking river—swallowed her as she slide down until just below her hips. “Shit!” and it's cold. “Fuck!” She cried again, hoping she was anywhere but here.

A soft thud landed above the land followed by a, “Everything okay down there?”

Lena gasped in shock at the new presence. Supergirl in all her glory stood there glowing under the street lamp and the moonlight. Blonde curls waving from the night’s wind with both her hands on hips, looking down. Lena swore she saw a smirk lit up that face for a second before it’s gone, turning serious.

“Out for a swim?” Supergirl asked before breaking into a full grin unashamedly.

Lena drew a breath to calm herself and more importantly not to lose any more dignity. “Supergirl,” She greeted and started moving ever carefully to the bank and deposited the kittens first safely at the higher ground where Supergirl instantly settled herself down, opening the bundle and cooed in awe.

The three kittens meowed and pounced at the fingers that petted them. Their bite left nothing to the impenetrable skin. “Aw, they're so cute.” The Super said in an annoying baby voice which Lena found not endearing at all. Because she’s far too busy climbing her way up and finally out of the cold stream.

“Really appreciate the help,” Lena huffed all the while unceremoniously laying herself flat down the ground, closing her eyes to catch her breath.

When there’s nothing but silence for a while, she blinked her eyes open, finding the Kryptonian transfixed where blue eyes gave a quick appraisal down her exposed skin before returning respectfully on her face. Warmth flooded her entire being despite her wet clothes—which Lena belatedly realized that she was wearing only a sports bra now with yoga pants that clung skin tight.

In a flash, she sat herself up facing Supergirl trying hard to swallow. Her throat suddenly parched.

“Hi.” Supergirl beamed. Clear blue eyes sparkled inhumanly, taking Lena in.

“Hello.”

“I didn’t know there’s a new hero in town.”

Lena’s mouth twitched at the corner. “I’m not trespassing any jurisdiction, am I?”

Supergirl just smiled, "Nah, you're all good." She stood up and unbuckled her cape before offering it. “You look cold.”

Lena was shivering, she realized, and with a mumble of thanks and heat crawling up her neck and face, she accepted the offer. Her skin was warmly covered by the red sheet that she’s sure was not from Earth’s fabric.

“Where do you live?”

As soon as Lena told her address, she tuned out the rest of the world. Safely blanketed by her cape, Supergirl carried her in a bridal carry. The bundle of fluffs hugged tightly on Lena’s chest and her gaze planted firmly on Supergirl’s face, studying the superhero; of her flawless skin, her cupid bows of lips, a cute crinkle between her brows as she focused into the horizon but the most prominent features of hers was those cerulean eyes. They were her favourite shade of blue and she had only thought so with one other person before.

“Here we are,” Supergirl said, breaking her train of thoughts.

Lena looked around, finally noticing the familiar neighbourhood. “You didn’t have to fly me home.”

“You should’ve said that earlier. We’re already here.” Supergirl said good-naturedly.

Heat crept up Lena’s face anyway, remembering she was busy ogling to voice any coherent thoughts.

“Thank you for the ride home.”

“Don’t mention it.”

It was an innocent act of gesture where Lena was trying to return Supergirl’s cape back. Their hands wouldn’t be touching at all due to the cape’s long and wide surface area. But then, Lena didn’t count the three devils wrapped around her other arm in her jacket as one managed to peek out and jump out.

Lena leaned forward in shock at the sudden weight loss when all three now scattered on the pavement. And then Supergirl had made a grab at her bare arm trying to catch the kittens from falling or something.

All Lena knew there was an electric shock coursing through her skin that Supergirl’s fingers had tightened around. And then, there was a woman. Blonde with glasses, Kara, Lena realized. Kara, whipping her glasses off and fly into the sky. Kara, with a proud smile, wore her family crest on her chest. And Kara, who Lena saw with tears on her eyes as Kryptonite blade impaled her heart.

Lena gasped and stumbled away from the contact. Her eyes and chest burn from the image that still danced behind her vision. When she looks up at Supergirl—Kara, Lena remembered. Oh, Kara Danvers is Supergirl—the Kryptonian didn’t look much better.

Kara stumbled backwards, eyes wide, unblinking. “You— you’re a murderer.”

Chapter Text

Lena entered her house in a daze. Depositing the rescued kittens on the kitchen floor as she did, fished out her wet phone and then sank it into a plastic bag of rice. She rummaged through her fridge to fix a bowl of crushed blueberries and a bowl of water for the three mewling about her feet.

Once that was done, she grabbed her fluffiest robe and settled down in front of the newcomers. Her body sagged against the lower cabinet as she watched the three hungrily lapped at their food, heads butting against one another once in a while to get a bigger portion.

Supergirl’s –Kara’s last words fill her empty numbing mind.

“You’re a murderer.”

Well, Kara wasn’t wrong. You would think that after hearing a colourful variation of related nicknames back in the prison, Lena wouldn’t let those matter-of-fact sentences get to her this badly. But, there’s something devastating about seeing your soulmate’s horror and stricken face as they came to realize who their supposed significant others really were at the very core.

And that’s what Kara saw.

Lena, taking a man’s life cold-blooded. A murderer.

The Kryptonian had flown away in a gust of wind soon after, having nothing else to say. Lena can still picture the blonde’s shock features or maybe repulsed one. Who knows really.

The three kittens mewl loudly against the now-empty bowl of fruit, bringing back to the reality of the situation.

“I found my soulmate thanks to you.” One jumped over the bowl, giving its backside to Lena rather rudely as it started drinking from the other bowl.

Truthfully, the idea of a Soulmate had never enticed her as much since she was sixteen. The implication of what that means, of finding your other half, holding an exclusive lifelong bond where one will feel complete.

She scoffed self-degradingly.

Well, here she was, after finding her soul’s other half and all she felt was empty.

Maybe Kara had sucked everything that there was inside Lena’s soul and left nothing else behind when they made the first connection.

Her mind recalled the visions that she had. Of Kara’s transformation into becoming a superhero, of becoming the Earth’s champion. And every time passed, the Kryptonian grew bolder and more confident. More proud. That is until a Kryptonite blade pierced through her glyphs.

Lena shivered.

What was that? She can’t for the life of her shake the foreboding feeling. It tingled and made her skin crawl. Her heart shrunk in on itself and she had to grit her teeth to ease her breathing normally.

There’s so much going on right now in her head to decipher what that could mean. She can’t think past the sole fact that she had found her soulmate so she pulled the robe around her body tighter, trying to relive the warmth whenever she was with a certain blonde long before she knew who the person really meant.

Kara with those pretty blue eyes.

That cute crease of her brows.

The blinding smile and sunny voice.

“I’m not keeping you,” She told the kittens. One had settled by her feet and the other two on her lap. Their brown fur looked almost black under the dim kitchen light. But, their blue eyes shined bright. Just like her soulmate's.

Lena sighed, defeated.

******

Supergirl is Kara.

Kara is Supergirl.

And she’s her soulmate.

What would Lex think? Another Luthor to share half of a Kryptonian soul. Would he be proud or disappointed that his criminal of a sister had somehow continued the legacy of a Super and a Luthor connected in more ways than one?

That thought kept repeating back and forth in her head all the moment Lena turned herself in the night until she woke up the next morning. When she was under the showerhead. When she was getting ready for work. Until it turned to dread as she stepped into the elevator of Catco’s building.

It’s almost funny how just yesterday, she had been looking forward to going to work so she can get Kara’s granola bars and thus have a reason to meet the blonde again. Wistfully, she thought that maybe once Kara has paid the debt, Lena could then offer lunch. It would be the start of them becoming friends. Of Kara becoming her first friend in this city.

Lena’s eyes burn. So pathetic.

As it turned out, she didn’t have to worry about never seeing the Kryptonian again because Kara came at lunch hour, striding in the Marketing department without a granola bar in hand but an invitation or rather a demand, more like.

“We need to talk.”

Lena willed herself to stay aloof. Putting her monitor to sleep and rearrange the scattered papers on her desk to the side and answered, “No.”

“Okay, how about Noonan’s? We can—wait, what?”

Lena grabbed her purse from the drawers and stood, finally meeting Kara’s eyes. They’re so blue and... bright. God.

“No,” she repeated and left.

It took Kara only a second to catch up with her. “What do you mean no? We’re— last night, I’m sure you know who I am now and we have to talk about that. And I have questions.”

“And am I obligated to answer?”

They stopped at the lobby waiting for the elevator.

Kara moved to stand right in front, defiantly stared Lena down. The mask of Supergirl slipping every second. “Yes, because you’re my— we’re soulmates.”

Lena smiled, unkind. “And suddenly you have every right to my life? To my past?”

Kara flinched slightly, fixing her glasses. “No, of course not, Lena. I just...” but then her face hardened again. “In my vision, I saw how you killed him. You stab him in the neck. I saw him bleed out on the carpet, the red seeping through his white rug. There’s so much blood and his eyes...”

Lena’s heart ticked a beat faster at that. She looked away from Kara’s pleading gaze, willing the memories to stay locked in metaphorical boxes at the back of her mind. “No, I’m not doing this with you.”

The elevator dinged right at that moment and she got in to escape but Kara was relentless in her pursuit. And alone with her in the tiny space felt suffocating.

Time seemed to move so slow as they travelled down. From her side, Kara sighed suddenly, “Lena...” She can feel Kara’s earnest gaze probing the side of her face. “I’m sorry I sprang it out like that. I just... this is new to me too. And I think we should talk to try to understand each other. We’re soulmates, Lena. That has to mean something right?”

There it was again, Soulmates. The way Kara said it like everything will be fine and dandy. As if finding your soulmates could solve the world’s problem. Kara phrased it with so much hope. Of what they could be. Of what she hoped Lena could be.

Lena decided to rip the bandage off. “See, the thing is Kara, I know the only reason you want to talk is because you want to find a reason, something to justify that I killed him for something good, am I wrong? Because how can Supergirl, the person that stands for everything that is good, her soulmate, her other half, be anything bad, evil?” Kara backed away, startled, due to Lena’s sudden proximity or her abrupt flow of words, she didn’t know but she continued. “Well, here’s your answer; His name was Jack Spheer. And I killed him because I can. I served ten years for it but boy was it worth it. If he’s standing here now, I’d do it again.”

The look on Kara’s face made the blood coursing through Lena’s vein felt like glass. Her eyes burned and her hands trembled. She fisted them painfully as her gaze locked in those mesmerizing blue. “Leave me alone or I will tell the next reporter I see who you really are under that shirt.”

The elevator dinged again and more people came in. Lena got out even if it’s not the ground floor yet.

But, at least Kara wasn’t following her anymore.

******

Her peace was short-lived though as it took Kara only three days to start showing up again. Probably finally realizing that Lena would never go through with her threat or just didn’t care.

The Kryptonian found her after work while Lena was busy picking cat towers at the pet store.

“Have you named them yet?”

At the sudden voice, Lena did a little yelp that she’s not proud of. Heat coursed through her cheek which Kara only apologized sheepishly after.

Turning away, Lena decided not to grace her with an answer. Or maybe her mind still hadn’t caught up that Kara’s really here—that she came back even after what happened the last time they talk.

Kara for her part didn’t let it deter her, continuing where she left off. “If you haven’t named them yet, I have a few ideas. How does Moe, Larry and Curly sound?”

Lena stopped short, turning to glare at the other woman. The Three Stooges? Really?

Blue eyes brightened at the attention as she waited for something to come out of Lena’s mouth but Lena held back, speeding off to another aisle instead.

“Too silly?” Kara asked over her shoulder, relentless. “Well that’s okay, there are plenty more famous trios you can name them after. How about the Three Musketeers? They sure have some fights last time I saw them.” There’s a light to her voice which Lena tried very hard not to let it warm her very being. “What else... oh, there’s also the Powerpuff Girls, the Golden Trio from Harry Potter, the Three Amigos. How about Huey, Dewey and Loius, or Destiny’s Child—“

“I’m not naming my cat, Beyoncé,” Lena cut off, reaching her limit.

Kara smiled that damn smile that could blind people from ten feet away. “Why not? I like Beyoncé.”

Lena bite the inside of her cheek and gave in. “First of all, they’re boys and second, I don’t care what you like or don’t like. Go away.” More resigned than anything.

“And here I thought you’re going to say something worse like you hate Beyoncé or something. That’s where I draw the line just so you know.”

Lena glared daggers through her eyes but Kara stood her ground. Her smile was gone now but there’s something else equally rattling Lena’s nerves there. Blue eyes locked onto hers, capturing her soul in some kind of suspension that left her insides bare one layer at a time. It left her breathless and...scared.

Willing herself to finally look away, Lena strode to the counter to place her order all the while highly aware that Kara was still here somewhere in the store.

Once Lena’s done paying and writing down her home address for them to send the cat towers, she left the store without looking back. But, of course, she was not truly alone when Kara joined her on the sidewalk.

“What else do you want, Kara? Stop following me.” She gritted out, not even looking at her.

“I’m not following you. I just happen to walk in the same direction as you.”

“Yeah? You know someone who lives in this street?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” Kara pointedly looked at her.

Lena scoffed. “We’ve known each other barely a week and you think you know me?”

“Well, we’ve shared a meal, rescued kittens and also saw each other’s dirty little secret. So yeah, I think I know you a little.”

At the mention of secret, Lena halted in her step. Flashes of green glow and sharp rock piercing through Kara’s chest invaded her mind. Her gaze flew down to the steady rise and fall of Kara’s chest. Kara, who’s unharmed and looking back with a determined set of gaze.

“Have you ever been stabbed by Kryptonite before?” Lena asked, curious but more concerned than anything.

Kara looked disappointed that it gave Lena whiplash. “You can stop threatening me, Lena. I know you would never go through with any of it.”

Lena frowned and then chuckled bitterly. Kara honest to God thought she was threatening her. Fuck this. “Forget I said anything. Have a nice life, Supergirl.”

The Superhero in question move to chase after her but Lena didn’t give her the satisfaction of even listening to what she had to preach next, truly closed off now. It seemed that Kara knew this too and grew desperate, reaching out to stop her.

For the second time since they met, their skin touched.

It wasn’t anything special this time. There were no visions or electrified touches, only warm smooth skin. Lena’s heart skipped a beat regardless as she turned to face Kara.

“I have killed too,” Kara said, still holding onto Lena’s wrist. Lena for her part was too stunned to pull away as the words reached her ears. Kara’s face was pained and ashamed, “My aunt, Astra. There’s no amount of reason to justify it because at the end of the day, I took her life and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. In no way that I’m saying that you and I are similar or that I understand you but I’m not innocent either, Lena. So, you’re wrong. Supergirl is not all good and you... I don’t think you’re all evil either.”

Kara finally let go and Lena released a breath she held, disappointed—no, relieved at the loss of contact.

“Can we start over?” Kara said at the growing silence. “Let our past be the past and start anew?”

“My past is what brought me here. It’s part of who I am. I can’t forget all of that.”

“I’m not saying you should forget about it.” Kara sucked a sharp breath looking frazzled. “I just want us to be friends and if you’re not comfortable telling me about your past then that’s fine, really. I get it. But, please don’t push me away. I don’t want to lose you, Lena.”

Those damn blue eyes did their sinister work again, tearing Lena’s wall apart. “I... I’m...”

Wasn’t this what she wanted all along before she was forced to move to National City? To find a friend. To finally live a normal life outside metal bars and concrete walls? After all those years, she deserved this at least, didn’t she?

Her mind made up, Lena nodded timidly. “Fine. Let’s be friends.”

Kara beamed, standing taller. “Yeah?”

Lena had to get away from whatever this surge in her chest was, else she wouldn’t survive for long. So, she turned and walked away from the person who caused it. Unfazed, Kara trailed after, her steps seemed lighter as they continued walking in silence.

It felt nice.

The buzz of the city had long left them and instead the peace and quiet of the neighbourhood greeted them. At times like this one, Lena was grateful for how rich her family was. At least she’s lucky in that department. She chanced a glance at the side where Kara was doing the same thing.

Their eyes met and Kara gifted her that bewitching smile over Lena’s bashful one. Yes, she definitely felt more than lucky at this moment.

God, what’s happening to her?

Kara cleared her throat. “So, um...nice weather, right.”

Lena chuckled softly. “Yeah, the greatest.”

Kara forced a laugh, face growing red as she fixed her glasses for the umpteenth time. “Yeah, I just love it when the sky clears, the sun comes out and I get it all to myself, ya know. My Kryptonian cells just suck it all up and I felt like I could move Earth. Not that I can... I mean I never try but then that would be a catastrophe, because the Earth’s orbit would— um, yeah...hey, do you wanna come over my house?”

Lena was still smiling at the vomit of words but then slow understanding seeped through. At the quirk of her brow, Kara rushed to explain.

“Not right now. We’re having a game night next Friday—I’m hosting. My sister and my friends will be there. So, if you want, you can come and join us.”

Lena’s smile dimmed. Thoughts of meeting those people that meant something to Kara made Lena’s palm sweat. “Do they know about us?”

Kara blinked owlishly. “Oh, you mean us being...soulmates?” At Lena’s nod, Kara shook her head. “No, I haven’t told them. I thought we should make that decision together. Like, only if you’re okay with it—we don’t have to if you don’t want. I’m fine either way. Really. But, I’d like for you to meet them...if you want.”

Lena was left speechless. She felt undeserving by Kara’s gentleness and thoughtfulness.

“Think about it, okay,” Kara said, reaching out to take Lena’s hand. Lena’s heart stopped beating at the contact again. Kara’s hand was still warm and smooth as the last time she remembered, which was not long ago really, but somehow felt like forever. Her fingers, long and thin around her own before it left. Lena belatedly realized there was a card in her palm. It had a Catco logo and behind it, was Kara’s name and contact number.

“For whenever you want to talk or anything,” Kara explained while moving away gradually. “I had to go, there’s a road rage happening downtown.” She stopped right after giving Lena one last goodbye before ducking into the alleyway.

Not a second later there was a boom in the air simultaneously with an abrupt take-off. Lena only caught a glimpse of blue and red shooting into the sky, up, up and away.

******

The next Friday cannot come fast enough. Kara didn’t reach out again, leaving Lena full decision to make the next move if she so wanted. It was agonizing within those days for Lena to swallow her pride and made the call.

She didn’t know why it was so hard for her to do this. In the confine of her home, Lena had a lot of time to think and wallow. She ran through scenario after scenario of what could go wrong if they cross this boundary where she can never run away from being Kara’s soulmate. From being a part of the Kryptonian’s life. Of what it meant to be a friend.

What she settled with was this: She’s not ready. Even to be friends.

She’s not. So, she saved Kara’s contact inside her phone and stored her business card in the wallet and left it at that.

She wouldn’t call. She would do nothing and certainly wouldn’t be going to game night.

But, as it was, it was also her birthday that day.

Not that it mattered since her phone had been silent throughout. No calls or wishes from Lex or Lillian. In fact, they hadn’t reached out to her ever since she first moved here. Lena tried not to be bitter about any of it but it’s hard, especially today. She even swallowed her pride and picked up her phone to call them but it went into their inboxes. And then the TV popped out the latest venture of LuthorCorp. Lex was in his pressed suit and Superman in all his regalia standing beside him as they officiate a brand new shelter both for aliens and humans alike under their name.

A Super and a Luthor, making the world better one day at a time.

Lena turned off the TV and get up from the couch.

Eyes burning, she poured three fingers of scotch and downed it in one shot. The burning changed course and she felt slightly better.

Poor Kara stuck with the runt of the litter. A murderer for a soulmate. Despite what Kara said, there was nothing good that could come out of this.

But Lena was selfish and she’s so sick of being alone. Her resolve finally thinning out.

Grabbing her phone off the kitchen island, she fired a rapid text and hit send before she could blink.

Hi Kara, it’s Lena.

What’s your address?

Chapter Text

By the fifth outfit Lena paraded for Aramis, Porthos, and Athos (yes, she named her cats after the Three Musketeer, certainly not because of Kara’s suggestion. What are you talking about?), she gave up and returned with the first one; a casual black button-down tucked into black jeans. Her hair, high in a ponytail and her makeup, light.

When the cab finally pulled by the curb of Kara’s apartment building, it was already nearing 9 PM which Lena was already late by an hour, having gotten Kara a fruit basket beforehand. She looked down at the heavy thing and panicked.

Why did she pick a freaking fruit basket? She should have gone to the liquor store and got wine or something else as classy.

Damn it. Now, she’s late and lame.

Perfect.

There was no time for her to grab another cab and went to the liquor store, so forcing herself to get it together, she entered the building with a steady beat of her heart against her ribcage and her heels pounding against the floor all the way up to Kara’s level.

Kara opened her apartment door before Lena could knock.

“Hey, you made it.”

“Hi,” Lena greeted back, breathless. Kara was beautiful. Her hair, golden and wavy over one shoulder, eyes glinted clear blue despite her glasses and her face beaming that million-dollar smile. “Sorry, I’m late. Um... I got you this.” She handed the fruit basket over none too gently, nerves keeping her afloat.

But, Kara took it effortlessly. “Thank you, Lena. You didn’t have to get me... fruits?” as she made a face.

Lena’s smile fell. “You don’t like it.”

“What? No, of course, I love it!” Kara enthusiastically pulled her inside by the arm which Lena tried very hard not to melt by the gentle touch, “I love fruits, so healthy and juicy. And you even got a whole basket of it. I’m certainly going to eat everything up.”

Okay... Lena made a mental note not to buy Kara any type of fruit ever again.

“Did you get here alright?”

“I did. Thanks for inviting me, Kara.”

Kara put the basket on the kitchen island before turning to face her again. Eyes all soft. “Thank you for coming. I thought you’d never contact me.”

“I almost didn’t,” ashamed, “I didn’t think I’m ready to be your friend.”

Kara looked startled by the sudden honesty. Eyes busy concocting a reply to that before she finally settled with, “What made you change your mind?”

Lena thought about her estranged family, how lonely she still felt despite being out in the world. But, standing here in front of Kara, the dark didn’t seem so suffocating anymore. How can it be when Kara shone bright like a beacon to Lena’s shadows.

“I... I just don’t want to be alone today.” Lena shrugged with a chuckle, trying to hide her bleeding heart.

Kara reached out to take her hand, pulling them closer together as she smiled. Blue eyes grew determined. “You’re not alone.” She said with conviction, with promise. And then she hugged her.

Lena grew rigid at the full-body contact, overwhelmed by Kara’s soft hair against her face, by Kara’s sweet perfume through her nose, and by Kara’s warmth all over her body. Her hands splayed against Lena’s back that Lena thought she was being cocooned by the Sun itself. It burned but she couldn’t get enough of it. So, she finally grew a pair to return the embrace.

She can feel Kara’s smile against her shoulder as the hug tightened. Lena could live like this forever.

They pulled apart when laughter erupted from the living room.

“C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the others,” With a soft smile, Kara reached out to Lena’s hand again, guiding towards the chattering group. Lena’s nerves skyrocket as she took in Kara’s home for the first time. Ceiling-to-floor windows in the living room, mix-match cushions on the sofa, to the furniture and the knick-knacks and to finally the people gathering in the space. “Don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. We just started playing Charade.”

Kara then proceeds to introduce her sister first, Alex and her girlfriend, Maggie. Brainy, Alex’s friend at work and his girlfriend, Nia who worked at Catco too. Lena wondered if they were soulmates but kept the thought to herself. There were also James and Winn who apparently also worked at Catco.

She said her hello’s and smiled politely to everyone, taking in their faces to memory and settled on the floor where Kara joined her.

“How long have you been interning in Marketing?” James asked from up his perch on the couch.

“About a month.”

“Strange, Kara never mentioned you before tonight.”

There was an awkward pause in the air as his sentence hung. Lena knew that Kara said she didn’t tell anyone about their bond and that would probably include her existence as well.

Lena plastered a smile. “Yeah, maybe because it’s none of your business?”

“Ha!” Kara faked a laugh beside her, arms shooting to grab a box from the pile on top of the coffee table. “How about we play Risk?”

Nia joined on cue, moving to sit on the floor across them. “Sounds good, let’s pair up.”

Everyone seemed to agree on that silently, settling with their own team without much fuss. Lena brewed in silence, contemplating whether she had just made a mistake in coming here while Kara explained the rules intentionally making them a team.

“When exactly did you two meet?” James asked, apparently still unsatisfied.

Before Lena can respond, however, Alex beat her to it. “Okay, James, stop. Pull that stick out of your ass, please.”

“Yeah, if anyone should be doing any interrogating here it should be me. But, I won’t because we’re at game night not the precinct.”

Lena tensed, staring at Maggie. “You’re a police officer?”

“Detective,” Maggie smirked and then winked.

Kara leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Um, my sister is also an FBI agent.” Lena's eyes grew wide unbelieving. Crime-fighting seemed to run in the family and the irony didn’t lose on her. “You okay, Lena?”

“Splendid,” Lena whispered with a strained smile.

James huffed continuing the conversation, “I’m just trying to make small talk.”

“Yeah, no man. You’re being nosy and kinda rude.” Winn pitched in, eyes on the map and hands busy arranging his soldiers.

Lena looked guiltily at everyone and at the change of mood in the room. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so defensive. “No, it’s fine. It’s not like it’s a secret or anything. Kara and I met at a vending machine two weeks ago.”

Kara hummed contently as if the memory was fond to her. “I forgot to bring money so she paid for me.”

“You still owe me four granola bars.”

“Oh, shoot! I totally forgot. I’ll get you those bars, I promise.”

“If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him...the people who give you their food give you their heart,” Brainy said to the silence of the room. He blinked. “A quote by Cesar Chaves.”

Nia smiled softly, giving him a kiss. “You’re cute.”

Brainy blushed, proving Nia’s point. Just like that, the atmosphere grew light again. Winn throw a cushion to Brainy’s face with an exclamation ‘Not in front of my Risk board!’ which Alex joined with ‘Get a room!’ to Nia.

“Sorry I was a dick,” James said softly to Lena. Nia’s reply of ‘You’re one to talk, Alex,' in the background made Lena smile.

“It’s fine. Sorry I was a bitch.”

James just laughed. They shared a brisk moment of understanding. She can feel Kara’s smile radiating off from the side having heard everything, but Lena chose to continue fixing the map of her territory. But, when the impromptu pillow fight grew rowdy, Kara eventually stood to put a stop to it.

“Guys, stop destroying my cushions and let’s play.”

And that was what they did. Lena didn’t quite grasp it all, since it was the first time she even heard about this game, but everyone seems to attack the Sanvers (‘That’s Alex and Maggie,' Winn explained) couple, so Lena went along. Though both women didn’t seem bothered by it, in fact, their turn on the dice was always in their favour earning them more territories to mark.

It cannot be said the same for Kara and Lena. In fact, it was the exact opposite. When they’re finally the first one to lose, Lena apologized for being the worst partner. Kara just smiled. “We’ll get ‘em next time.”

Lena mirrored the smile, albeit more shyly. The promise and the soft tone of Kara’s voice were too much for her poor heart. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she ever felt this peace and excited before. It was a weird combination.

Two board games later, her nerves loosened, hunger satiated by pizza and potstickers and beer, she felt content just by listening to the group talked about everything and nothing.

It all dampened though when the topic strayed to Superman and Lex. Winn gushed about the Man of Steel and Brainy about Lex. There’s admiration in both their faces as they went on and on about the good the two inspiring individuals brought to the world. About how compatible they were as soulmates.

“I just wish I could meet my soulmate already, y’know, whoever they are,” Winn said wistfully. “Everyone seems to have it all figured out once they did.”

“You will, Winn,” Maggie comforted.

Lena glanced to hers, where Kara was already watching her. Blue eyes all soft without judgment. It left Lena with a bad taste in her mouth.

Kara could have gotten what Superman and Lex could if Lena wasn’t such a disgraceful member of society.

“Is this melon?” Alex asked, bringing Lena back to reality. The fruit basket that she brought had been cut and served as dessert now. “And pears? Damn Lena, this is some quality shit. You sure you’re just an intern?”

Lena smiled. “Last time I check.”

“Maybe I should change profession.” Maggie quipped, sliding a slice of dragonfruit into her mouth.

At least someone— or judging by James, Winn and Brainy’s diligent chewing— enjoyed fruits as much she did. Prison food rarely consist of anything worth craving for and when the rare time that it did, it was when they included fruits, usually sliced apples or watermelons. It was the only time that Lena felt like a human being.

“You are coming to the next game night, right?” Nia asked, eyes glinting and pleading.

“Yeah sure.”

“Nia,” Kara warned.

“What? I’m just asking.”

Kara ignored the younger woman, holding Lena’s gaze. “You don’t have to bring anything next time, ‘kay.”

Lena just laughed. “I appreciate you looking out for my wallet but you know my family’s rich.”

“Well, I guess. But, peer pressure’s no fun.”

Alex seemed to perk up across them. “From government personnel to private conglomerate, how rich are your family?

Maggie glared half-heartedly. “Hey, that’s offensive.”

“Sorry babe, but it’s the truth. You’re poor and so am I.” Alex kissed her girlfriend on the cheek which Maggie just huffed.

“Alex, now you’re being nosy,” Kara said, looking disappointed.

“Yeah, don’t be a dick.” James joined, popping a grape into his mouth.

Lena didn’t know what made her say what she said next, maybe because of the way Kara looked, though not pointed at her, Lena still thought Kara deserved better than a convicted murderer as a soulmate. But, she’s not just that, was she. No, she’s a Luthor too.

“How about Luthorcorp rich,” she blurted out, finding Kara’s wide eyes on her as did everyone else’s. Lena took everyone’s shocked face one by one and continued. “I’m a Luthor. Lex is my brother. Well, half-brother. Lionel had an affair with my mother but he covered it up, took me in, and kept me a secret.”

By the time she’s finished, her heart was pounding in her eardrums. In front, multiple eyes blinked owlishly at her before she settled on a pair of intelligent blue eyes. Kara opened her mouth to say something but a snort stopped her short.

They both snapped towards Winn who was trying to hold his laugh before it failed. Laughter erupted from him and like a domino, everyone else did too.

“Good one, Lena.”

“You almost got me there,” Alex said, wiping her tears.

“Yes, very funny.” Brainy gave her a nod of approval. “I almost thought my data was wrong. But, no, the Luthors don’t have any daughters as far as I’m concerned.”

Lena had no idea what that meant, but she didn’t expect this reaction. Everyone thought it was a joke. She felt like a joke. She bit the inside of her cheek, gripping the beer bottle tight or else it would end up splattered on the wall.

She forced a chuckle, decided to play along. “You should see the look on your face.”

The group teased her with mocked-anger that would have made Lena all warm and fuzzy moments before this but now all she felt was cold and alone. She didn’t dare look at her side where Kara was, wasn’t brave enough to see if Kara saw her as a joke too.

Once the laughter died down and they talked about something else, Lena tuned out and excused herself.

In the safe space of Kara’s bathroom, Lena stared at the mirror, willing for whatever self-pity inside her to be buried. She didn’t know if it worked, but at least her reflection didn’t look that pathetic anymore. Straightening her shoulders, she closed the tap and got out, going straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

She could feel eyes on her back where Kara’s friends were and not a second later she wasn’t alone in the kitchen.

“Want one?” Lena asked without looking back, already knowing who entered the kitchen. Maybe it’s a soulmate thing, knowing where and what one was and felt. And she had a feeling that Kara wanted to ask about her confession-turned-joke.

“Yes please,” Kara accepted another glass of water from Lena, standing beside her by the sink as they nursed their drink in silence.

“Sorry if they made you uncomfortable,” Kara broke the silence.

Lena caught earnest blue eyes, frowning. “What do you mean? They’re great. I haven’t had this much fun since...” she trailed, trying to search for memories but came out short. “Since forever it seems. Well, there is this one time where I got to build a radio from scratch back in prison.”

“Sounds exciting.”

There was no malice in Kara’s tone at all at the mention of her past. Maybe just disbelief at what Lena constituted as fun. Lena appreciates it all the same.

“Shut up.”

Kara made an affronted look but failed as Lena broke into a smile.

“Seriously though, I know they can be a lot. Maybe this wasn’t my best idea, introducing you to them all at once. I didn’t really think it could overwhelm you or make you upset.“

“Kara, I’m not upset.” Lena cut off. But, Kara didn’t seem convinced.

“You sure? Because when they laughed, I saw your face, Lena. What you said about being a Luthor, it didn’t sound like a joke.”

Lena felt her mouth dry up. She finished her glass of water in one big gulp, cleaning the glass once done, all the while debating what she should say next. She could say the truth and she knew Kara would believe her. But it didn’t matter, did it? Not in the past and certainly not now.

She put on an assuring smile. “It was just a joke, Kara.”

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

Kara searched her face and Lena tried very hard to stay composed. It all worked out in the end as Kara finally let it go once she found nothing. And Lena... she should be relieved but all she felt was repulsed.

******

It didn’t go away. That revulsion inside her.

All Lena could think about was she had lied. She had looked right into Kara’s eyes and lied to her face about who she really was.

It only worsened as they couldn’t stop spending time together.

Suddenly, Kara was a part of her life now. Whatever hesitation the Kryptonian had before came tumbling down the moment Lena came to game night. As if that was all she needed to start intertwining their life together.

Lena found herself swept by it all, unable to get out from the swirling vortex that was Kara Zor-El. And honestly, Lena was happy to stay trapped in there forever.

Every day without fail, they would text good morning, get lunch dates (as Kara dubbed it), and call to say good night at the end of it.

Even on the weekend, Kara would come by to spend time with her. It started when she had invited Kara to her house once to show all the equipment she bought for her private research. Later, they set everything up in the garage. The space now had become a mini lab of sorts for Lena to continue finding cures for cancer. To do something good. Kara had appointed herself Lena’s lab partner which Lena couldn’t refuse to.

So, no, the sickening feeling didn’t go away at all. In fact, it’s starting to eat her up from the inside the more time passes.

Kara had told her everything there was to know about her life without reservation. About her family in Krypton and her adoptive family on Earth, about the first time she put on the cape. She also explained sheepishly that Alex wasn’t really an FBI but a DEO agent, a covert government agency that monitored extra-normal activity. About James and Lucy, his ex-girlfriend leaving town the week Lena joined game night (“I guess that’s why he was a prick,” Kara said, “Not that it’s any excuse!”). About Alex and Maggie being soulmates, and Brainy finding his with Nia.

Kara didn’t say it outright but Lena could see, could understand that the Kryptonian was waiting for her to give the green light so they could share with their friends who they really are to each other.

But, that sick feeling Lena had still lingered because Kara still didn’t know who Lena really was. And that has to change soon.

They were having their usual lunch dates at her floor in Catco. Kara had gone and flew to get them food from some country she failed to mention. It had become a normal occurrence since Lena had admitted she didn’t really have any favourite food. Kara had gasped in horror and promised to bring every dish around the world so Lena could pick one.

“No, this is important, Lena.” Kara had said to Lena’s pleading for her to stop. Not that Lena really gave her utmost effort in that. Who was she kidding, she loved the effort and attention Kara put just for her.

And looking at the Girl of Steel across inhaling her Char kway teow adorably, Lena had the sudden revelation that she should tell Kara the truth now and get it over with.

Putting her fork aside, she looked up, “Kara, I have something to tell you.”

Blue eyes fixed on hers instantly, chewing the last kway teow in her mouth before swallowing, “Nasi Lemak is a no then?” Kara asked, putting down her chopsticks to give her full attention.

“No, it’s not that...” Lena tried not to fidget under the growing concern. “I just wanted to—“

Kara stood up suddenly, her chair toppled backwards and drinks spilt on the table.

“What— Kara?”

“Catco’s under attack,” Kara said in a hurry before pulling Lena to stand as well.

Too shocked, Lena went along, letting herself be guided away. “Where? Where’s the attack?” All around her floor, people were still milling about as if nothing happened.

That changed though when Kara pulled the alarm off from the wall. Red lights blinked and alarms blared through the speakers.

“Topfloor,” Kara answered distractedly, frown deepened. “I have to go. They’re after Miss Grant. Lena, get out of the building, okay.”

With one last glance, Kara left, running against the stream of people on their way to the lobby.

Despite the shrieking alarm, the situation didn’t escalate. There was a calm throng of people now that lined up to take the elevator down.

But all Lena felt was dread. She didn’t know what triggered it, but she had a horrible feeling in her gut that Kara was in danger. The vision of the Kryptonite blade pierced through Supergirl’s chest made Lena run to the staircase. And she prayed.

Chapter Text

Climbing up eight floors later, Lena was left panting. Sweat trickled down the side of her face as she tried to calm the pounding of her heart. The door shut loudly behind her as she got out of the emergency staircase, the blaring alarm now silent save for the blinking red lights enveloping the hallways.

The floor was quiet too and tentatively, she strode forward with purpose. Kara invaded her mind all the way.

It was short-lived though when a man popped into the hallways a few feet in front, successfully halting Lena’s step. He wore a full tactical gear, a leering smile on his face.

She cursed under her breath.

Slowly, like closing in a feral animal, he walked towards her. “Are you lost, sweetheart?” His gun trained on her without missing a beat.

Lena raised her hands on instinct, palms up. “Please,” she said, making sure to sound pitiful and weak.

The gun in his grip loosened, his eyes wicked, “Relax, pinky-swear I won’t hurt you too much.”

She gritted her teeth, trying to stay calm. Eyes darted to find weak spots. His face, neck, groin, ankle. When he was within arms-reach, gun slackened and posture loosened, Lena didn’t think twice and lunged forward, fist aimed for his throat. But, she wasn’t fast enough and he managed to backtrack. Her fist connected with his jaw instead.

A burst of pain coursed from her knuckles up through her arm. It felt like she had just punched a wall. Before she could nurse her could-be-broken-or-bruised hand, a blow to the side of her face took care of her. She collided with the wall, the other side of her head took the brunt of it.

Lena’s ears rung. Head spinning.

“Bitch! What’d ya do that for?” He screamed from somewhere above water. “I was trying to be nice, guess I didn’t have to. You ask for it.”

Another sudden blow to her stomach knocked the breath out of her lungs and Lena belatedly realized she was on all four on the floor, crawling trying to get away.

She really did not think this through, did she.

Her eyes watered, forehead pressing on the dirty floor as she gasped for breath. She waited for the inevitable. His combat boots were loud against the tile as he closed in again. When he stopped at her side, Lena gathered her remaining strength and lunged again, this time at his ankles.

Unprepared, he tipped over with a curse, hitting his head on the ground. The sound of gun clattering echoes through. She scrambled to get up and chased after it.

The man tried to do the same but Lena was faster this time. The moment the gun was in her grasp, she swung it around to the man that had grabbed after her. The gun hit his head with a resounding thud before he face-planted on the floor, unmoving.

She tossed the gun away as if it burned her very palm. Her chest heaved with adrenaline. Her head hurt and her vision swam which she had to take a moment to clear them all. But the thought that Kara could be in danger made her reprieve short.

Lena pushed herself to get up and continued to find where her soulmate might be. Gunshots and then screams echoed further down the hall answered her unspoken question.

She broke into a run.

When she finally arrived at the main office, she had to duck behind a partition to stay hidden. There were four men in the same black tactical gear as the one in the hallway. Their back to Lena.

Two trained their assault rifles on a group of people that was kneeling on the floor. Lena saw James and Winn among them, pressing a bloodied cloth to a woman’s stomach that lay still on the ground. Bile rose in her throat. Another man stood at the other side, holding a blonde woman by the arm, a handgun to her temple. And the last one, stood right in the middle facing off against Supergirl.

Lena could clearly see Kara’s face from where she hid. Visible anger surged through her features that Lena had to do a double-take at the contradicted vision in her memories. This wasn’t the bubbly reporter with a megawatt smile that could blind you figuratively, but a Supergirl that could honest-to-god blind you with her heat vision and finished it with holes at the back of your skull.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Supergirl scowled, looked about ready to blast the man’s head off.

Lena searched the men for Kryptonite or some sort but found nothing. In fact, the man in the middle, which she assumed was the leader, had no type of weapon whatsoever. It was either he was in a suicide mission or he was confident that he would win whatever this was.

“I told you Supergirl. You had to choose.” The leader replied nonchalantly. “These people or Cat Grant?”

Lena ducked down back to her hiding spot. Her relief was fleeting as she realized the grim situation. Supergirl was fast but not that fast to stop bullets pointing in two different directions, was she? Wouldn’t the situation be solved by now, if she was?

Lena sucked in a deep breath, mind made up. She whispered, “Kara.”

There was a squeak of boots against the floor and then “What—what are you do—um  saying, exactly?” Supergirl’s stuttering voice echoed over Lena’s head.

“Are you deaf?!” The man raised his voice. Lena mentally apologized to her soulmate for surprising her. “I guess you are all brawn and no brain, huh? Now listen carefully and get this into that pretty blonde head of yours. I’m not—“

Lena tuned out the rest. “Kara, I think I can help.”

A beat and then, “How did you get in here?”

“Really? You want to know the logistics? I guess these people’s lives—“

Lena thought about the gun she left back in the hallways. She should have never left it behind. “I can be a distraction. All you need is a few seconds to take them down right, Supergirl?”

“Fine. I’ll choose,” Supergirl answered. “Any second now, as long as everyone’s safe.”

Lena took that as her cue, understood the underlying meaning and with a calculated move, she got out of hiding.

“Hey, asshole!”

There was a suspension in the air as the men turned around, their weapons tilted slightly away from their intended target and every pair of eyes trained on her sudden appearance. By the time Lena blinked, Supergirl was already a streak of blue and red, seizing the weapons and blasting the men one by one in quick succession with heat vision.

They flew in the air at the force, coming to a stop right by Lena’s feet. Smoke rose from their chest but it didn’t leave a hole on their skin just their bulletproof vest as they remained unconscious.

Lena sagged with relief, catching Kara’s eyes from across the room. But, maybe she shouldn’t have.

******

Kara wasn’t angry per se. But, she was not not angry.

Lena didn’t really know what she was, really, seeing as the Kryptonian only acknowledged her with a nod from across the room as soon as the threat was neutralized. Blue eyes lacked the familiar warmth, though they were not all cold either, as they shared one last look.

And then she had taken the injured woman in a bridal carry and flew her to the nearest hospital, no doubt. Lena tried not to be jealous because she wasn’t that petty—she wasn’t. She hoped the woman, whoever she was, survived the gunshot wound.

Moments after that, James and Winn had ran towards her, each giving the biggest and warmest hug Lena ever received that left her speechless. And together they gathered the remaining people that left on the floor out of the building.

They came out of Catco with Cat Grant leading the group to join the crowd gathering at the assembly point. As it was, the NCPD was also just arriving. Police sirens blared and officers scrambled out of their patrol cars. Maggie was among them, leading her team.

Cat strode forward to meet the police officers before they can enter the building. “Fifteen minutes response time? Why bother coming at all?”

“Miss Grant,” Maggie greeted. “We received a distress call saying that Catco was attacked?”

“Yes, five men came into my office with guns and took me and my staff hostage. They shot my assistant. I guess you’re here to clean up? Since there’s literally nothing you can do now to help because Supergirl already took care of it.”

Maggie didn’t seem at all bothered by the scathing remark, merely ordering her people to scan the building from basement to top, arrest the unconscious men, and called multiple ambos to the scene from her police radio.

“Do you have any idea why they attacked Catco?”

“Jealousy, rage, mental breakdown... The possibility is limitless. Why would I even trouble myself with those Neanderthals’ whys and wherefores?” Cat turned around without waiting for a reply, now in Lena’s line of sight. “And you, whatever your name is, thank you.”

Lena blinked. “My—my name is Lena. Lena Kieran.”

Cat closed in without breaking eye contact. And Lena felt like staring at her feline back at home sauntering towards her whenever they wanted something.

“Thank you, Miss Kieran. You saved us all.”

Before Lena could form a reply, the older woman was gone to God knows where.

A few minutes later, three ambulances pulled up by the curb and started checking everyone for injuries. Maggie who had stayed by Lena’s side the entire time waved down one EMT for her. 

She let her injury be checked by the professional, sitting at the back of the ambulance with a shock blanket over her shoulders. Everything was a blur throughout it. She recalled someone cleaning up her bloodied head, cinching the graze to a close at her temple, putting ice pack to her knuckles and saying no to painkillers.

The haze only cleared when a familiar soft thud landed loud in her ears. She snapped her head to the source and found Kara—Supergirl, ways away.

Blue eyes stared back with more warmth now and Lena relaxed. Whatever she saw earlier seemed to evaporate, leaving only a remnant of it. She beckoned Kara silently, needing her close. But, out of nowhere, Cat Grant emerged to intercept Kara’s path to ask something out of importance.

The older woman only left after a few exchanges of words, clearly satisfied by Kara’s answer.

It felt like forever but finally, Kara was there close enough for Lena to reach if she so wanted.

“Hey,” Kara said softly, her voice like a lullaby. As if knowing what was on Lena’s mind before, Kara reached out, her thumb rubbed under the cut on Lena’s temple with such gentleness. “You okay?”

“Just a scratch. No biggie.”

Kara looked about ready to argue but couldn’t when someone cleared their throat at the side.

“Supergirl, how’s Eve?” Winn—when did he arrive?— asked, comfortably sitting by Lena’s side.

“She’s still in surgery. The good news is the doctor said the bullet went through and didn’t hit any major organ.” Blue eyes found hers again. “What happened back there? How did you get hurt?”

Lena shrugged. “It’s nothing. Just hit my head.”

“Um, no you didn’t just hit your head,” Winn gave her a look before looking up at Supergirl. “She had a mild concussion and bruised knuckles because she had a tumble with one of them in the hallways,” He elaborated with mild respect before continuing. “The EMT said she can go home and rest. But, should limit activities that require high mental concentration in the next 48 hours. Oh, and she refused painkillers.”

Lena felt betrayed but more so, confused. “Wait—how’d you...?”

“Because I was here when you explained to Maggie what happen? Lena, you don’t remember? Oh god, you have a short term memory loss.” He got up in an instant and waved at someone. “Medic! I need one here!”

She got up too and pulled his arm down. “No, no, of course, I remembered. Yeah, it’s all coming back to me now.” It’s not. “I’m fine. I’ll just go home and rest.”

“Good idea,” Kara interrupted. Lena almost forgot she was there too. Maybe she did have a short term memory loss.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

Kara discarded the shock blanket and the ice pack away, putting her own cape in place around Lena’s shoulder before she carried her in a bridal carry. With one last thanks and goodbye to Winn, Supergirl took off and Lena melted against the warmth enveloping her body. Her head tucked under Kara’s chin, ear against Kara’s steady heartbeat and Lena thought; this is where she belongs.

“Are you really okay?” Kara’s voice broke against the windy air and her tranquil state.

She looked up to find concerned blue eyes. “I am. Just tired.”

Kara sighed softly. “Why didn’t you get out when I told you to?”

“I was worried about you.”

“Lena, you do realize who I am, right?”

“You’re not invincible, Supergirl. What if they had Kryptonite? I can’t just do nothing, can I.”

“Kryptonite?” That cute crinkle made its appearance. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I just... I had a bad feeling when you left, something awful, that you’re going to be in danger. And I never got the chance to tell you but in my vision, I saw you got stabbed in the chest by Kryptonite. I thought something as bad would happen but I guess I was wrong.”

“Was that... I mean, I never got stabbed before. That was what you meant when you asked me the other day didn’t you. Lena, I’m so sorry I thought you were threatening me.”

Lena just snuggled closer. “It’s okay. I can see where you’re coming from. I wasn’t exactly a delight either before that.”

“Now that’s where you’re wrong. You are a freaking delight since the first time I lay my eyes on you. Just full of immense joy.”

“Shut up, Supergirl. My head hurt with all your bullshitting.”

“Hey, language!”

Lena closed her eyes with a smile on her face while Kara pulled her closer to her chest.

“You shouldn’t be worried,” Kara said after a while. “I’ve built up a tolerance for Kryptonite over the years. I can handle the exposure long enough and fought off anyone wielding it.”

Lena opened her eyes to find the House of El symbol. “But if you haven’t been stabbed before, then my vision...does it mean it’s going to happen in the future?”

“Maybe, maybe not... we can talk about it later when you’re not concussed. Right now you need to rest.” Kara put her down suddenly and Lena didn’t even realize they had arrived in front of her house. Kara might have as well gone through a portal, that was how smooth her flight was. “But first,” without preamble, she threw her arm around Lena in a hug.

They had a few hugs—okay a lot more hugs before this of course, because Kara was an affectionate person and Lena was touch-starved to not refuse them all, so really, they balance each other out. But, this one felt different. Kara had one hand cradling the back of Lena’s head and another arm around both her shoulders in a tight yet tender embrace. It felt sacred somehow and Lena couldn’t even reciprocate since she was mummified from the neck below by Supergirl’s cape.

“I was so worried and angry and then worried again...” Kara whispered against her hair, her voice pained. “Lena, promised me you wouldn’t do anything stupid like that ever again, not without me there.”

Lena couldn’t even be annoyed at that, so she swallowed her pride and complied. “I promise.”

It was worth it when Kara tightened her hold infinitesimally and then planted a soft kiss on Lena’s forehead. Lena’s function seemed to stop at that but before she knew it, Kara already guided her to the front door and the moment, whatever that was, had seeped into her skin to warm her soul.

“Hey, look who’s here to greet you home,” Kara opened the door wider to Athos at the entryway. He was sitting inside one of Lena’s heels, head jutting out of the hole. Kara instantly pulled him out and cooed over him. “Did ya miss your mommy, Porthos?”

“That’s Athos, Kara.”

“Wha—No, it’s...wait really?” She lifted the kitten higher for better inspection, eyes critical. All three kittens were in a healthy form. A definite step up from their scrawny and mottled state the first time they came. Now, their grey coat shined and their blue eyes, bright. “I still can’t tell them apart. They all look the same.”

“That’s racist.”

Kara spluttered. “I didn’t mean it like that!” Lena hid her smile and escaped to the kitchen to grab a bag of frozen peas for her bruised knuckles. The pain was starting to annoy her. She moved to the living room and plopped down the couch.

The blonde trailed after her, “You’re messing with me. Is this even Athos? Or is it Aramis?”

Lena chuckled, resting her head at the back of the sofa. “You’re not proving your point very well, Kara.”

Kara just huffed and deposited Athos at the cat towers in the corner of the living room where his brothers were lounging, which she then decided to spend her attention towards, next.

Lena watched their cute interaction from the safety of her couch, content and filled to the brim with peace despite the growing headache. The cat towers was a monstrous thing of nearly 6 feet occupying the space with a split-level kitty condo, built-in toys and ramps for angled scratching. Money well spent, she’d say.

She didn’t even realize that her eyes had close or that Kara had now joined her on the couch, only coming out of her haze when the frozen bag of peas was falling out of her lap but Kara didn’t let it get far and put it back on top of her hand.

“Oh, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

There was something in Kara’s gentle tone combined with her mesmerizing gaze that made Lena’s sleepiness fade away. The air suddenly felt heavy and the space between them on the couch felt constricted as they stared at each other in silence.

There were moments before this that felt similar. Like they were at a precipice, waiting for the other to make the move first. Whatever that move was, Lena could only guess.

This moment they were currently in was like that times a hundred. Kara was watching her like she was something out of this world. Pure adoration and then some more. Finally, she broke the contact first so that Lena can suck in a much-needed breath but the air left her lungs again when Kara end up kneeling on the floor.

“K—Kara?” Lena’s mind went off miles a second.

The Girl of Steel looked up with an infuriating smirk as if she knew where Lena’s mind was going. But, then it turned to its usual warmth. “This doesn’t look comfortable,” she said, reaching out to Lena’s foot.

Lena cleared her throat, willing her mind to get out of the gutter. “It’s actually the most comfortable shoes I own.”

“Still,” Kara reasoned cleverly before prying the loafers out of Lena’s feet. Lena tried not to let the sensation of Kara’s nimble fingers around her ankle got to her. The keyword here tried, but God, she’s only human.

Diligently, Kara moved on to Lena’s left next, did the same thing and then to Lena’s horror, took a whiff. “Whoa...the smell...”

Lena’s ears burn. “Kara!”

Kara just laughed, her laughter filled every inch of Lena’s house. “Just kidding! It doesn’t smell at all! Look, even Aramis loves it.” She pointed to the kitten now occupying the loafers from before.

“That’s Porthos, Kara.”

“Aw, I’m really bad at this.”

Lena laughed in turn and then winced at the sudden sharp pain in her abdomen. Kara was by her side on the couch again in seconds.

“What’s wrong?”

Pulling her blouse up, an angry bruise had started forming along her ribcage. Oh, she forgot about the kick to her ribs.

“Lena,” Kara gasped which Lena quickly cut off.

“It’s not that bad. Stop making me laugh and I’ll live.” She put the frozen peas to ease the pain but winced again. Wrong move. The cold singed.

A blur and a gust of wind later, “You have to wrap it up, dummy,” Kara took the bag of frozen peas and covered it with a kitchen towel. Once it was secured, she gently laid it on the bruising skin again.

Lena sagged at the cool contact. Kara had kept one hand on the makeshift ice pack attentively. But, her other hand, which was initially on Lena’s waist had started its gentle ministration of searching for more injuries. Knuckles brushed against the side of her ribs before it moved lower. Lena’s heart stopped and so did Kara’s touch.

Swallowing against the lump forming in her throat, Lena braved herself to peer under her lashes. Kara was already watching her, waiting, with that look again.

“Your eyes,” Kara suddenly said, “They’re green and blue. They’re really beautiful.”

“Th—Thanks. I had them since I was born.”

Kara’s lips quirked up, blue eyes flickered downward for a moment.

Lena’s brain short-circuited. “It—it’s called Heterochromia where a person has differently coloured eyes or eyes that have more than one colour. It doesn’t cause any problems most of the time, just a quirk caused by genes passed down fro—“

Kara kissed her.

Soft and warm and sudden.

And Lena closed her eyes and kissed back. Cautiously... Pliantly...

Moving her lips to start tasting what Kara’s lips were made of. They were sweet and soft like cotton candy but only much better because Kara wasn’t going to melt away on the first touch or the second and the third. Kara was still there, kissing Lena senseless, warm hand cradling her jaw to tilt her head for a better angle to taste each other.

When they finally pulled apart, breaths still ghosting on their faces, Lena gripped Kara’s wrist for support where her hand now had settled on Lena’s neck.

“Um your eyes are really pretty too,” Lena said intelligently to the growing silence. “They’re my favourite shade of blue. I've never seen it anywhere else.”

Kara smiled, amused. “Yeah? Would you say it’s out o—“

“Don’t say it,” Lena warned. Kara only chuckled, eyes glinting and beautiful that Lena just had to kiss her again for the sake of it.

Kara returned the kiss enthusiastically, darting out a tongue to swipe over Lena’s lips. And Lena’s mind chose that sinful moment to remind her about the things she had kept from Kara that couldn’t be put on hold any longer.

With great effort, Lena pulled away. “I have to tell you something.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

Kara’s voice was downward husky that left Lena’s throat dry as a desert. Fuck, she needed to get it together.

“Kara, please.”

The air of playfulness immediately died out as Kara regarded her seriously. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I— I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Lena took a deep breath. “The truth is I am a Luthor. Lex’s my brother. He sent me here and got me a job at Catco after I got out of prison.”

Blue eyes searched her face in silence. That cute crinkle made its appearance but this time it only left Lena with a building dread inside her. “So, you really are a Luthor?”

“I am.”

“Why did you lie?”

Lena was left grasping for answers. The silence that followed was heavy. Kara then stood up which Lena mirrored before the Kryptonian walked slightly away to put a safe distance between them.

“That night, our first game night, I asked you if you were a Luthor but you said you’re not. Why did you lie? I don’t understand.”

“I—I wasn’t ready, okay. Does it really matter? It’s not like it’s a big deal, right.”

Kara levelled her with a look that shattered Lena’s heart. “Wow. Are you serious right now?”

“Why me suddenly becoming a Luthor a problem? Shouldn’t you be happy your soulmate was a Luthor? At least you got something good out of this mess.”

“What are you talking about?”

“A Super and a Luthor. Superman got Lex. And now you got me, a Luthor too. The legacy continued. Now you can tell your friends that.”

“I don’t care about any of that, Lena! Is that all you think of me?” Kara’s chest heaved like she had run out of air. “I care about you. About us. But, from the very start, you lied to me. What else had you been lying about? You said you have no one else, no family, that you were an orphan, was that a lie?”

Lena’s eyes burned, throat constricting. “All this time, do you see anyone else in my life, Kara? I have no one but you and your friends and I am an orphan. Lionel died and my mom— my real mom gave me to Lionel for drug money and months later, she OD. So, yeah, I’m an orphan, Kara.” she spat.

Kara winced, moving forward to try and reach out. But Lena turned away, wrapping her arms around her middle to soothe her frantic heartbeat.

“I think I should go,” Kara said from behind her.

There were footsteps residing, a thud of a closed door, and then there was nothing.

Chapter Text

She screwed up.

By the time the silence was enveloping the entirety of her house in a thick blanket that left her feeling colder than ever, Lena wanted to call Kara back and beg for forgiveness. To explain that nothing else about their time spent together was a lie. That she cared about Kara too. More than.

But, now all that left was nothing.

Nothing, but Supergirl’s cape that still rested on the couch. In her haste to leave, Kara had forgotten to take it back. The red sheet crumpled and abandoned, exactly how Lena felt at the moment.

She gathered the cape into her arms, hugged it close to her chest. The scent of rain and smoke and Kara's shampoo invaded her senses as Lena buried her face in it.

She screwed up. And now she’s alone again.

She asked for this when she decided to lie to her soulmate. Lena deserved this. She deserved to be alone.

It was funny how things could change in a blink of an eye. She was in heaven and then in hell seconds later.

That kiss was everything Lena had hoped for. Her soul sung and thrummed with happiness, with a sense of accomplishment. She thought she could find her place in this life with Kara and then the flame of hope got smothered. The universe mocked her, waved nice things at her face only to pull away the last minute before she can grab it in her possession.

She lost ten years of her life and subsequently her family, her future, and now, her soulmate.

The misery that was her life kept piling up and beating her to a pulp and Lena didn’t know how long she could hold on anymore.

She opened her eyes blearily to the purring on top of her chest as she lay on the couch. Her kittens were there, making themselves comfortable as they huddled around each other. The living room had gone dark, only street lights from outside illuminated the space. She must have dozed off.

She remembered folding Supergirl’s cape and laying it on top of the coffee table to wait for Kara to come back to retrieve it. She remembered fighting drowsiness and her aching body that demanded rest to wait for Kara instead. Lena needed to make this right again. But, she must have lost the fight halfway because the cape was long gone now.

Kara had come back and left without looking back.

Lena wanted to cry, sure enough, that Kara wanted nothing else from her now. Sure that she had lost her chance in patching up, in asking for forgiveness.

Her self-deprecating was short-lived though when she saw something else in place of the cape before. Mindful of the dozing kittens and her own bruised ribs, she got up and reached for what Kara had left behind.

Two boxes. The smaller one, cream of some sort and the bigger one consisted of dark leafy greens with a mixture of something red and yellow and white powder stuff. Lena had a hard time computing what the hell it was and why Kara would have left these things.

It took her ashamedly long moments, Lena blamed it for her drowsiness, but she finally registered the label for the cream as a natural pain reliever and the leafy mix thing as a salad. Kale salad, to be exact.

Lena felt her heart open up again. That candle of hope sparked into an ember. Digging in the salad, she thought that she might have found her favourite food after all.

******

The next morning, instead of resting as per the EMTs order, Lena got up and ready for work. All night, she had been jittery, planning ways to make it up to her soulmate. Even if her body was still sore, at least her headache was gone. So, she took that as a win and headed to Noonan's first to get Kara’s favourite.

With sticky buns in one hand and coffee in another, Lena entered the lift to Catco’s building, pushed for Kara’s level and took a deep breath to brace herself.

It was still quite early so when she arrived at the top floor, there were only a few people that were at their desks and a few janitors that were cleaning up the mess from yesterday's hostage situation.

“Lena?”

Someone called and she turned to find Nia walking towards her from the lobby’s entrance. Nia gave a hug in greeting. “I heard what happen yesterday. I’m glad you’re okay.”

Lena couldn’t really hug back with both hands occupied but Nia didn’t seem bothered by it. “Thanks... Come to think of it, I didn’t see you yesterday. Were you okay?”

“Probably because I was out for an interview and didn’t get back until later. Lucky me.” Nia started to walk deeper into the office, probably to get to her place, pulling Lena with her. “So, I heard you were quite the hero. Another one of Catco’s very own heroes. Would you mind if I scheduled an interview?"

“Wha—What? That’s ridiculous. I’m not a hero, Nia.”

“Exactly what a hero would say.” Nia grinned.

Lena rolled her eyes.

“So, why are you here? Not that I mind, but didn’t Cat close Catco for today. Everyone got to work from home.”

Lena’s heart sunk at the implication. “Oh, I guess I didn’t get the memo.”

They arrived at Nia’s desk, where the younger woman immediately started fishing for her notebook in the drawers.

"I was hoping to catch Kara before work started," Lena confessed dejectedly, eyeing the blonde’s empty desk that was close by.

“Oh? Kara didn’t tell you?”

Lena snapped her head to Nia, eyes searching. “Tell me what?”

“She’s taken a week’s leave to go to Midvale. Family matter.” Nia shrugged.

Lena couldn’t believe the whiplash she was having right now. Was this it then? Was Kara’s abrupt leave, her telling that their relationship was over? Lena wasn’t that self-absorb to think that everything Kara did revolve around her. But, the timing couldn't be a coincidence. They fought yesterday and now Kara's gone after leaving her with a pain relief cream and a kale salad. Were those her goodbyes? Her dusted off her hands and said good riddance after.

“Lena, you looked a little pale there. Wanna sit down?”

She forced a strained smile. “No, thank you, Nia. Here, you can have these.”

Nia took the sticky buns and the coffee with confusion and no doubt more questions at the tip of her tongue, but Lena was already saying goodbye and walking away. Her heart was in her throat and tears were threatening to fall as she found her way out.

There was no more burning hope left inside. It had been completely extinguished now. Snuffed out.

Kara didn’t want to see her anymore.

And Lena could do nothing about it.

“Luna Kylian.”

She halted her steps just in time to not bump the woman that was in her way. The woman being Cat Grant.

“Why are you here?” Cat asked with a quirked of her brow.

“I was—“

“I specifically give every one of my employees a day off today and yet...” She sighed dramatically. “If you’re trying to impress me, then don’t bother. You already did yesterday, standing up in front of those extremists. Two months' bonus should suffice, do you agree? Or are you an overachiever, Luna?”

“I—“

“Since you’re not denying it, let’s talk more in my office.”

Cat walked past her with a purposeful stride.

“I was leaving," Lena called out frustratedly. She didn’t want to be in this building any more than necessary. Maybe she could hop on a bus and run somewhere far away too, leaving everything behind.

“It’s not a request, Luna. Come along, chop chop!”

“It’s Lena.”

But Cat was already ways away ahead. Lena had no choice but to follow after her boss. Once they arrived at Cat’s office, the older woman went straight to sit behind her desk. Lena closed the glass door behind her and walked closer. Cat didn’t invite her to sit so Lena stood awkwardly between the two guest chairs.

Cat started with a “How old are you, Luna?”

“I’m 26.”

“Hmm... And you’re an intern in Marketing. Aren’t you a bit old to be an intern?”

Cat's tone of voice was borderline condescending that Lena had a hard time not walking away and be done with it.

“Some would say.”

“Why?” Cat sat back to regard her critically, hands clasped on top of one another. “Did you graduate high school late? You got pregnant? You were in a coma? Which one is it?”

Lena’s patience was wearing thin. She didn’t need this—whatever this is—on top of everything else with Kara. “I was away.”

“Where?”

“Prison.”

The silence that followed after was deafening. Cat looked up frozen like a statue.

And internally, Lena said fuck all. She wasn’t planning on staying anymore. If Kara can leave, so can she. “I served ten years in state prison because I murdered a man when I was 16.”

That should settle it. Lex would be mad to know that she had just put all of his effort to waste. But Lena couldn’t care less right now. Surely Catco wouldn’t want a convicted murderer as one of their employees. Such a prestigious company that named the Supergirl herself, they had a reputation to hold on to. All she needed to hear now was a ‘You’re fired,’ or ‘Get out,’ or something else with the same context.

“What did he do?”

Lena broke out of her haze, sure that she heard wrong. “What?”

Cat’s eyes were hard but not cruel. Her voice was clear when she repeated, “What did he do to you?”

Lena’s heart thumped loudly against her ears. Memories of him and what he did on that day danced at the back of her vision, resurfacing now one by one like opening a Pandora's box.

No one had ever asked her that before.

Not even the police officers. When they found her at his home, they had cuffed her and taken her straight to the station. They had recounted what they think had happened and how she ended up killing him... never what he had done.

“N—Nothing.” But Cat didn’t fall for it. She waited and waited.

There’s a pressure building inside Lena. Her chest felt tight, body trembled. She tried to pull herself together but the pressure kept pushing. “He—He had pictures of—of girls...younger than me. And videos. Tapes. Of him doing—he... he kept them all under his bed.” She still remembered his room, his bed with a gold cream duvet. How soft it felt under her fingers. “He was my professor.”

Cat had stood up to join by her side, tissues at the ready. Belatedly, Lena realized her cheeks were wet. Embarrassed, she thanked Cat for the tissues and wiped her tears away hurriedly.

Giving her a second to herself, Cat moved away to the minibar at the corner of the room, poured two glasses of whiskey before handing one to Lena.

“It’s 8 am.”

“Lena,” Cat said disapprovingly, “How else are we going to make a toast? Here’s to you for putting the sick bastard six feet underground,” She clanked her glass with Lena’s unresponsive one. “Now, I have a job offer for you to consider...”

******

Lena’s plan had backfired tremendously.

Instead of getting fired for disclosing herself, Cat Grant had offered a position as her personal assistant, since her last one was still recovering from a gunshot wound. Cat hadn’t pried much else after Lena’s outburst which she was grateful for. The past is best left in the past, as they say.

So now, instead of hopping on a bus to leave town, Lena found herself running to Cat’s favourite café three blocks away to get her Bulletproof Coffee, which was only one of the many requests of her boss that Lena now in need taking care of.

Despite the sudden physical exertion this new job demanded, Lena had never felt this seen before by her colleague and her boss. That was probably why she had accepted the offer and also it was pretty hard to say no to Cat Grant. All in all, it was definitely a step up from her previous position in Marketing, but that was a pretty low bar, so of course, working with—for Cat Grant directly felt like a promotion in on itself.

Also, a great plus was her work desk's neighbours. Having Winn sat across while Nia and James on the same floor were great. Some friendly faces definitely couldn't hurt but the one face that Lena wanted to see the most was still absent.

It had been three days without seeing Kara or hearing her voice. The last Lena had tried to bridge the widening gap in their friendship was her texting ‘I’m sorry’ the night Kara left which she hadn't replied to until today.

Lena tried not to think too much of what that might imply.

Her job was finished for the day and she was about to unlock her front door when she found the door was already unlocked. Lena’s hope burned anew. The only one who had the key to her house was...

“Kara?”

Lena’s calling was left unanswered, she quickened her steps and entered the lit living room to find someone unexpected standing in the middle of it.

“Who’s Kara?” Lillian asked.

“Mother, you’re here.”

“Yes, quite the observation you have, dear.” Lillian dismissed, “You haven’t answered my question.”

Lena blinked, still registering the older woman in front. It had been months since they last saw each other. And despite everything, Lena had missed her adoptive mother.

“Kara’s just a friend.”

Lillian said nothing for a while. It’s hard to read whether her silence was approval or the opposite or anything of substance. Aramis meowed from the kitchen counter behind Lena, effectively cutting through the silence.

“You bought cats.”

“I found them...saved them actually.” She smiled as she moved to pick Aramis up into her arms.

“Strays. How nice of you. Have you checked them for fleas? Cat disease? No, don't bring it to me. Over there is fine.” Lena stopped short, smile dropping. “And is this Kara also a stray you picked from the streets? Why are you expecting her inside the house while you’re out?”

Aramis squirmed in her hold and eventually jumped out and flee to the bedroom. Lena wanted to go with him. "Kara is not a stray, mom. She has an apartment and a job. I said that she's my friend."

“A friend that’s in possession of your house key?”

Lena smiled bitterly. “I guess the two of you have something in common.”

Lillian walked closer, stopping right in front, towering over Lena which she barely managed not to flinch away. "I am your mother, Lena. I bought this house in this nice neighbourhood for you to live comfortably. Not to share it with anyone who tries to take advantage of you. Does she know who you are?"

Lena willed her face to remain calm, to stay unaffected. There was no doubt an underlying question was implied there.

Does she know you’re a criminal? Does she know you’re a Luthor?

Telling Lillian about whom Kara really was to her felt like a breach of trust. Not even Kara’s circle of family and friends knew what they were to each other. So it was fairly easy for Lena to choose between Kara and Lillian.

“No. She doesn’t know anything.”

“Good, let’s keep it that way.”

Lena turned and escape to the kitchen. In need of something else to do, she rummaged through the fridge. “Have you eaten? I can cook but I have to go to the groceries first.” There was nothing else left other than rotten apples. She picked them up with a grimace and threw them into the trash. Such a waste. “Or we can go out? I know someplace nice in the city.”

“No, I don’t have the time.”

“But, we always had birthday dinner every year, although this year is two months late.” Even when Lena was in prison Lillian never failed to come by and make it happen. Lena never questioned how just grateful that she had a few beautiful moments in there to count for. But now, seeing Lillian's confusion slowly turned realization across the kitchen counter, Lena felt disheartened. “You forgot, didn’t you.”

Lillian only took a second to morph her face into indifference. “Oh come now. You’re an adult. There’s no need to be upset about it.” She admonished, making Lena sag with shame. "Work had been crazy and Luthorcorp is launching another branch here in National City. It’s why I came, I’m going to move here permanently to helm the operation. I already got a penthouse near the company. So, we’ll be seeing each other more.”

“Can I come by Luthorcorp, someday?”

“Perhaps.”

Lena’s chest flared with hope at the not straight up rejection.

“You were saying you know someplace nice. Is this place still open at this time?”

They ended up going for dinner after all and Lena had a good time despite everything.

******

Everything was going well with her life—apart from Kara, that is, but Lena didn’t let it deter her optimism nor was she giving up on her soulmate. She would respect Kara’s wishes and wait however long Kara deemed to talk to her again. Lena can be patient. Whatever her soulmate want, she would try to accommodate. Besides, she had yet to properly apologize to the blonde for lying.

Her positivity might have also been influenced by her new position at Catco. Although it was only nearing a week being Cat’s assistant, Lena liked the job very much. And Cat’s rare praises whenever Lena did something right, something as mundane as getting the salad order correctly to never setting up a meeting for unwanted investors, Cat had been... not terrible.

Not only that, news that Lillian was moving to stay in the city only add to the good news category of Lena’s little boxes in her mind. Having even one of her family nearby was enough for her to not feel alone anymore.

So, yes, everything seemed to shape up into something hopeful for the future.

Which was why the universe decided to fuck it all up, Lena guessed.

It was nearing midnight when it happened. Cat texted her to come by to the office to take notes on a conference call from Dubai that was happening. Going to Catco at ungodly hours was not that strange to be honest, since Lena had been staying late for most days to help Cat with more or less the same task.

But what was different this time was her boss hadn't mentioned to her beforehand that there was a conference call scheduled. Not even in Lena's calendar, was a call been arranged which only meant that she had overlooked it. Cursing under her breath, she grabbed her keys and locked the door behind and went straight to Catco.

Lena arrived fifteen minutes later. Telling the driver to keep the change, she got out of the cab and entered the building. In her haste, she didn’t realize that the guard at the entrance was nowhere to be seen.

The top floor was eerie, but that was to be expected considering the time and with no one there. The lights were off saved for a few lighting up the hallways. And further inside, Cat’s room was the brightest on the floor. Lena made her way there, mentally ready to be chastised by Cat for having to be reminded how to do her job.

Apologies were at the tip of her tongue when she pushed the glass door open.

But the words stuck in her throat as she took in the scene before her in horror.

Cat was on the floor, flat on her front, a pool of red under her.

It wasn’t wine, the red too thick and the colour too dark.

Lena's handbag and notebook clattered down the floor. She didn't even realize her body had moved, kneeling to pull Cat on her back.

“Miss Grant,”

Her voice was oddly calm as she tried to stop the bleeding on Cat’s chest. Blood surrounded her fingers anyway as Cat remained unresponsive. Her face was pale, lips blue.

And when Lena pushed harder to stop the bleeding, the blood was cold.

Lena can only hear her heartbeat, drumming against her eardrums. Her chest, rising and falling with abundance, needing air. She stood up, instantly felt lightheaded as she looked down at her bloodied hands and her bloodied pants where she had been kneeling.

Was this a dream?

A soft thud landed outside the balcony just at that moment, loud in the silence of the night. She knew who it was before they entered through the open glass door.

When Kara finally came inside donning her Supergirl regalia, her eyes widened at the state Lena was in, “Lena...”

Lena could have laughed if she could. Kara called her name with such concern lacing in her voice, you would think that they never had a fight a week before and never saw each other until now. "Your heartbeat. Are you—" But, then she looked down and saw Cat Grant’s lifeless body.

Chapter Text

It was like déjà vu.

Kara, standing across Lena, sporting that same horrified face when their skin touched the first time and they found out they were soulmates. There was a moment where time stood still between them. Both waiting, caught in the moment as they studied each other. The only difference this time, blue eyes looked back and forth down Lena’s feet and up again, like she was having a hard time understanding the situation she had just encountered.

Lena with blood-stained hands and pants stood over Cat Grant’s lifeless body on the floor.

It felt like an eternity when in reality was only a mere second.

Regardless, to Lena, it was an eternity of moments, dragged dreadfully slow as she waited for the worst. The last experience she had standing over a corpse, she served ten years for it. Granted, she was guilty of that. This one though...

This one...

Cat— No, Miss Grant...

The one person that had looked past her criminal background to give her a chance of becoming a person worthy to be proud of, now lay dead on her feet.

“Get away.”

Lena was jolted out of haze at Kara’s voice. She wasn’t yelling, but it came close.

“Get away from her.”

Lena stumbled back, away as per instructed. She didn’t catch Kara’s face when the said woman was already in a blur of movements, kneeling down, slipping arms under Cat Grant and then vanished in a violent gust of wind. The only remnants left were the cool air and bloodied mess, making Lena shiver for both.

The office was quiet and bright, creating the splotched red and the mess of papers on the floor that much clearer. On a second look, the room was a mess. The desk was at a weird angle and the documents that Lena had painstakingly colour-coded for Miss Grant’s easy access to, were scattered apart everywhere.

Lena had the sudden urge to tidy everything up or else she would not stop hearing this from her boss of her incompetency. But, halfway picking up a paper on the floor the reality of that never going to happen now doused her entire body like a cold shower.

Because Cat Grant was gone.

Dead.

No more Bulletproof coffee. God, was she shot?

Dead.

No more calling off shady men that use potential investors as a front.

Dead.

No more arranging meetings and conference calls. Dubai. That conference calls from Dubai.

Was Cat in the middle of the call when she was attacked?

Murdered. She was murdered.

Lena should call them back and explain. Cat would be annoyed that such an important meeting was interrupted.

Catco was going to open up a branch in the Middle East market and Lena figured Dubai would be their first choice to start.

But she was dead.

Dead.

She should call them.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dea—

“Lena!”

Her vision sharpened instantly at the new voice. Eyes wide and breath in short burst. A woman, dark-haired with a blurry face came into view.

“Easy, now. Take a deep breath, Lena.”

Belatedly, she realized she had moved into a corner. Her back was against the wall as she tried to make herself small to whoever was in front of her. Their voice was calm, meant to soothe and Lena followed their instruction to take a deep breath. Gradually, when her heart wasn’t attempting to burst out of her chest, Maggie was there. Red and blue lights bled onto her features, police sirens blaring from somewhere below the building.

Behind Maggie, policemen were filling the room, equipped with cameras and their equipment bags as they took residents. One of them set up a heavy-looking gear onto the carpet and Lena found herself moving towards it.

Swallowing past her scratchy throat, “Excuse me, you can’t leave that there, it’ll leave an indentation.”

The guy looked up from his equipment on the floor. “What?”

“The rug.” Lena pointed. “It’s a high pile. Your heavy gear would leave a mark.” Miss Grant didn’t even let her walk over it claiming that it’ll last longer that way. Whatever the hell that meant, Lena didn’t ask, simply nodding and making a mental note to avoid the area whenever she came in.

But the man only stared dumbly, like Lena had spoken an alien language. So she repeated, slowly this time. He looked peeved by the second, gaze directed above her shoulder before he found Lena again.

“You’re joking.”

“Connor,” Maggie called from behind her.

Any more words about to form on Connor’s lips died instantly. With a defeated sigh, he got up and took his equipment away with him, but not before giving a look at Lena.

Maggie stood by her side after that, “That okay?”

Connor had found a corner away from the bustle of the room to continue setting up, and Lena realized the other policemen had no disregard for Miss Grant’s belongings. Dirty boots clamoured every inch of the room, ugly yellow placards littered every surface, and flashes of camera lights invaded the privacy of Cat Grant’s office.

Something soft and heavy blanketed her shoulders before she realized that she was shaking.

“Okay, I think we should go. You don’t need to be here anymore. C’mon, walk with me,” Maggie enveloped her with a side hug that left Lena ashamed she melted upon contact.

Away from the chaos, Lena’s mind caught up to her soulmate. Did Kara call the police? Where did she take Miss Grant to?

“Kara...” Lena said, small. “Is she—is she okay?”

Maggie stopped in the lobby to give her full attention. “Yeah, why wouldn’t she? She’s at home probably sleeping considering the hours. Do you want me to call her?”

Lena chided herself silently for forgetting no one knew she knew Kara is Supergirl. “Right. No, that’s fine.”

Thankfully, Maggie let it go. Her features soften considerably. “I’m sorry about what happened to Cat Grant. I know you’d rather go home and rest but can you tell me what exactly happen? Every little detail you can remember would help us find the person responsible for this.” A warm hand clasped Lena’s shoulder reassuringly. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Lena hugged herself, intentionally pulling the blanket wrapping around tighter. “I... I came here to help Miss Grant. She had a conference call from Dubai. I usually take notes for her to review later.” Her vision glazed over the memory. “Her room was the only one with lights on. And I just found her lying there on the floor. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was cold and she—her face, her skin was pale. She—Miss Grant is gone, isn’t she?”

Maggie only nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry.”

Another shudder passed through Lena’s body. Every minute passed the harder it seemed for her to accept this new truth. She shut her eyes, willing everything to be a bad dream.

“What happened next?”

Lena opened her eyes, imagination shattered and only grew worse. Kara’s stricken face and harsh voice filled her mind. “Supergirl came. She took Miss Grant away. I don’t know where, she just left.”

She left me, was what Lena didn’t say, didn’t want to ponder over. Because, despite the horrifying event that had transpired, Lena felt betrayed. Her soulmate had left her with nothing but a disgusted and harsh look for a second time. Cat Grant was murdered and Lena only cared about herself.

What kind of a person that made her? Maybe Kara was onto something there when she decided to leave her on her own.

“Hey, let’s get you home, yeah?” Maggie’s voice and warmth enveloped her again. She didn’t have the energy to refuse or agree, merely went along with the motion.

But, home sounded nice.

***

It was past 3 AM that Lena found herself curled up on the sofa of her living room still wide awake. She tried to sleep earlier but her nerves were too fired up to settle. Maggie had been such a good friend, driving her to her house, and even offering to stay. But, Lena waved the concern off because the detective still had a job to do now more than ever.

The blood on Lena’s hands was gone now, scrapped raw in the shower. Her bloodied clothes were tossed away never to be seen again. She could turn on the TV and put on something to stave off the deafening silence of the night but eventually, she didn’t, worried that her fingers would slip the remote onto the news station. Better the stillness than Cat Grant’s possible repertoire filling the living room.

Lena didn’t even think she could handle hearing the other woman’s name without having a flashback of deadweight body and cold crimson blood that made her sick and her fingers sticky.

She fought back a shiver.

Just then, something crashed in the kitchen. Lena was instantly on her feet. The dark abyss of the kitchen stared back at her as she slowly made her way to investigate. Her chest heaved as if she had run a mile when in fact it was barely ten feet or so.

When her shaking hand finally reached the light switch and turned it on, she was met with Athos rummaging through the trash. The can overturned, its content naturally spilt onto the tile floor and Athos’s head deep into the dirty pile. He was so deep that only his fluffy butt and tail, straight in the air like a beacon, could be seen. A darker spot of grey on its left hind leg was the only indication it was indeed Athos.

Lena sagged down the wall onto the floor. The tension left her body instantly.

What did she expect really, living with three unruly kittens? This time of night was their playtime after all. As if on cue, Porthos and Aramis came strutting into the kitchen from wherever they were, passed Lena’s seating form to join their brother demolishing the newfound treasure.

She didn’t know for how long she stayed seated on the cold kitchen floor. All she knew was the phantom of cold body dripping red conjured up in her mind was slowly diminishing with each mewling and mess the trio across her had made. The little chaos in her kitchen was calming and soon she could breathe properly again. So much so that she didn’t even flinch when the doorbell rang, didn’t register the ungodly hours and the possible danger that came with it.

Lena merely stood and walked to open the front door revealing Kara behind it.

All of her effort in finding peace a while ago diminished completely. Reality washed over like a slap in the face.

“Kara.”

“Can I come in?”

Kara looked terrible. Her hair was tangled and damp borderline dripping like she had just come out of a storm. Judging by the clear dark sky and her dry clothes, Lena guessed she had just come out from a shower instead. Clear blue eyes stared defiantly, waiting. There were red-rimmed though and dark bags underneath visible more than ever without her glasses.

The intensity was too much so Lena’s gaze travelled down to Kara’s outfit—muscle tee and sweats— that couldn’t possibly provide enough warmth for the chill night. She didn’t even have shoes on.

Pulling herself together, Lena opened the door wider, silently inviting the Kryptonian in.

Kara walked further inside, stopping at the living room with Lena following suit. Silence soon overcame. Heavy and loaded.

Kara didn’t even look at her, her profile was the only thing Lena could see as she chose to drill a hole in the walls with her piercing gaze instead. And Lena didn’t have it in her to break the silence however hefty it was becoming, afraid to poke the figurative bear.

Either way, it seemed she didn’t have to wait long when Kara spoke with an unexpected monotone voice, sudden as her visit.

“I brought Miss Grant to the General Hospital. They declared her dead upon arrival. It was too late for anyone to do anything.”

Even if only half of Kara’s face was visible, Lena could very well see the equally blank expression on the other’s expression. It unnerved her. More so when Kara finally turned to finally grant her a full view of that stony features.

“She was stabbed in the heart.”

“Kara,” It seemed there was nothing else Lena could conjure up at the moment. Her own chest tightened trying to picture Miss Grant’s horrible last moment.

Kara suddenly chuckled, hollow and mirthless. Her gaze landed somewhere above Lena’s shoulder. “It’s funny, she had a few panic buttons around her office. One beneath the table, one on the side of her mini bar, another between the bookcases, even below her chair’s armrest, did you know?”

“I... No.”

“She never got to use it tonight.”

“Kar—“

“It’s funny because she had all these safety measures, which she and I had planned to put in place years ago when she found out I was Supergirl and she wanted to have an advantage of being able to call me personally if the need arises. I even gave her the beacon watch which she wore, but she didn’t even use that, didn’t use any of it. And I can’t stop thinking that maybe she thought she didn’t have to. Maybe she didn’t think there was danger at that moment.”

Lena swallowed against her dry throat. There was a beginning of tears pooling beneath her eyes. “Kara, why are you here?”

Blue gaze finally looked right at her, equally teary. “I kept thinking— my mind won’t shut up at the possibility that—“ Her voice choked up like it physically pained her to voice out the next sentence. “Just, please tell me.”

“Tell you what?” When there was no response, hurt, incredulous and despair mixed up inside her entire being.  “Tell you what, Kara?”

Shakily, Kara breathed deeply and voiced out, “Why were you there? Why were you the one who found her?”

Lena smiled, pained. “That’s not really the question you want to ask me.”

Tears unashamedly streaked down Kara’s face. “Did you... kill Cat Grant?”

There it was, Lena thought. She couldn’t really fault Kara for her doubt, could she? After all, Lena had killed before. It was only fair for Kara to ask her this. Especially, since she was the one who found Miss Grant’s lifeless body. The last person to be seen with the famous media mogul before her untimely death. Kara had seen Lena in the same situation before, blood pooled under Lena’s feet, a lifeless body.

If Kara hadn’t known her criminal past, she wouldn’t be here asking the same question. Would there be another reality where Kara came looking for her for a more domestic type of reassurance?

Lena had no way of knowing any of that because her reality was now staring her in the face still waiting.

“Please Lena...”

She wondered why Kara’s pleading sounded so heartbroken. Did it pain her to ask as much as it pained Lena to have to answer? There were hot tears streamed down her face now, unrelenting, matching Kara’s.

Lena made sure her voice was clear even if her vision blurred by the edges, as she finally answered. “I did not kill Miss Grant. It wasn’t me.”

Kara did nothing but stared. Maybe searching for lies, maybe she didn’t believe her. Lena had no way of knowing what was on the Kryptonian’s mind and found that she didn’t care at the moment. She was tired and sleepy. Her eyelids became heavy when the tears eventually stopped.

Kara stepped forward before stopping, unsure. And Lena waited. Brushed her tear-stained cheeks dry. Waited. And waited some more.

There were thousands of words unspoken in those blue eyes that Lena could see but could not hear. Kara didn’t seem willing to let it all out so Lena had no way of knowing what they could mean.

Perhaps a cup of hot tea would calm Kara’s nerve to voice out whatever she wanted to say but before Lena can offer some, the Kryptonian had given one last pained look and disappeared in a blast of wind. The sound of the front door closing softly despite the abruptness filled in before familiar stillness greeted once more.

Lena walked to her bedroom to finally go to sleep. She slipped beneath the sheet, warm and cosy. Her last conscious thought being how unpleasant she must be for her soulmate to always want to run away from her.

***

Morning greeted her with a scratchy throat. She coughed drily and head straight to the bathroom, down a hefty glass of water from the sink. The cool liquid went through her throat unpleasantly.

Lena grunted unhappily and chose to ignore it entirely for a shower.

Finished with her morning routine, she paused in front of her opened wardrobe, hands already grabbing her work blouse before she remembered she didn’t have a boss anymore which probably meant that she was unemployed now.

She donned a plain black sweatshirt and comfortable lounge trousers instead before heading to the kitchen. The garbage can from last night was still there, overturned, no sly feline perpetrators in sight.

With a sigh, Lena moved to clean the mess, brought the trash outside and finally fixed herself a cup of coffee. It warmed her throat just so, giving a much-needed reprieve.

She stood there by the kitchen island, sipping her coffee and staring at the walls, willing herself to think of nothing, to feel nothing.

A sudden ping of noise crushed all of her effort into nothingness. There was a message from her abandoned phone on the island. A bunch, actually, from the same person. Maggie.

[01:54AM] Hey, let me know if you need anything? I’m up all night. You won’t bother me.

[05:13AM] Catco’s close until further notice seeing as we still need to process the scene, just so you know.

 [07:56AM] Morning. U doing ok? Don’t be a stranger now.

Lena’s emotional floodgate struggled against its entrance as she typed a reply.

Thank you, Maggie. I’m fine.

She also wanted to write something more appreciative instead of being dismissive, but restrained. It wouldn’t do her good to let go of her emotion now so early in the morning.

She headed to her garage-turned-lab instead. Maybe she could take another step in finding a cure for cancer. It has been a while since she spent time here. The last time was with Kara, who had agreed to look into her Kryptonian’s science journal she collected from some mission years ago when they were stuck on a calculation of nanocarrier’s penetration on the cancer cells.

That was before the kiss.

Before she confessed to Kara about lying that she was a Luthor.

Before everything went to shit.

God... that was just last week. Yet, Lena felt old. Weary, worn-out.

Never mind that she had just woken up. The sun shining outside, no doubt creating a beautiful canvas of light in the sky indicating a brand new day.

Lena was tired.

And everything inside her lab reminded her of Kara. Her seat across, her notes—written in Kryptonian, still messily scattered on the side of her desk. A dirty mug Kara had last used.

And because Lena was tired, she didn’t even bother cleaning up Kara’s mess. Didn’t bother looking that way again, merely got on to what she came here to do in the first place. Even if the space was crawled with everything that was Kara, Lena pretended that it wasn’t.

She had cancers to cure.

***

If only it was that easy.

Of course, curing cancer wasn’t easy. If it was, scientists would have had a breakthrough already. If it was, it wouldn’t be one of the most feared diseases in the world. If it was, Lionel would still be here.

And maybe Lena wouldn’t be here now.

Alone. Exhausted. In a city too sunny.

Maybe she would’ve still been in Metropolis. Lionel always wanted her close. To care for or to monitor closely, she wouldn’t even mind either way. At least then, she wouldn’t be in this predicament. Wouldn’t feel like shit.

Alas, she was here. Alone, tired and feeling like shit.

It worsened when the next day, Lena wanting to be more helpful, had called the hospital’s mortuary to arrange Cat Grant’s funeral. She berated herself for only remembering it a day later. She was still Miss Grant’s personal assistance after all. It was the least and the last thing Lena could do for her.

But, as it was, everything had been settled by none other than Kara herself, the funeral was to be held at the end of the week. Closed and private.

That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. In this case, broke Lena’s calm resolve.

How dare her! How dare Kara took everything and left her with nothing!

Miss Grant was the one who wanted Lena as her personal assistant. Lena was supposed to be the one that planned the funeral, be useful for once and gave back one last time to the woman willing to give her a chance despite Lena’s past.

But, Kara took that chance away, just like she did with everything else.

Lena slumped tiredly against the chair in her lab. Her trembling hands lessened every second as she calm down. Though, the whiteboard remained a dark splotch in the middle of all their written calculations, pieces of broken glass from the cup of coffee she had thrown across the room landed pointedly on the floor now.

Loud mewls and scratching from outside the door broke her haze just barely. She was always extra careful not to let the three musketeers feline get inside her lab in fear of their safety and her expensive equipment.

But, Lena was far too gone to care about such things and opened the door. Athos lunged for her, starting a climb from her shin and upwards, his claws stung only slightly as they found purchase against the fabric of her clothes, Porthos and Aramis doing the same from her calf and about, until they settled around her neck and chest, purring loudly, still clung by their sharp claws.

And for a moment, Lena forgot all about her rules in the lab. Forgot about her favourite mug jagged and broken on the floor. Forgot about Kara.

***

The next morning, Lena forced herself to wake up early and dressed for work. Even if her body ached and there was a beginning of a headache. Not to mention her scratchy throat seemed to only worsen. She picked her attires half-heartedly. More casual than her usual blouse and pencil skirt, she opted for a sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers.

She wanted to hand in her resignation. Surely, whoever to be Cat Grant’s successor wouldn’t be as open-minded to have a murderer as a personal assistant, would they? Lena didn’t have it in her to lie again and she decided best to not be there at all when it eventually came down to it.

Finally arriving at Catco, she braced herself against the throng of people at the lobby entrance and then inside the elevator. They chattered and went about their days as if nothing had happened. As if the very company they worked for hadn’t lost its founder. Whoever was Cat Grant’s successor sure didn’t waste time for a mourning period.

Getting out on her floor, she was expecting to find someone else sitting in Cat Grant’s chair, so she was ready for the mental image but what she found was beyond her imagination.

The resignation letter in her grip was forgotten as soon as her mother came into view. Kara and James were there in the office too, talking on and on as Lillian looked on silently, unimpressed.

That familiar cold gaze caught Lena from across the room and stayed until Lena finally made her way inside Miss Grant’s office.

Lillian stood up from behind the desk almost too quick before Lena could think to form a greeting. “Lena Kieran, I presume?”

Lena chanced a glance at Kara and found the other woman was already looking at her. Blue eyes lost their usual brightness, dark shadows under, not quite covered by her glasses. She looked as drained as Lena felt.

Despite it all, a fire ignited inside Lena as she saw the broken shell of a person that was her soulmate. Kara didn’t have the right to look so pitiful when she was the one who deemed their bond meant nothing anymore. Shouldn’t she be relieved to have cut ties? Wasn’t this what she wanted? What more did Lena have to give for Kara to be happy?

Unwilling to go down that rabbit hole, Lena focused on her mother’s presence, barely keeping it together as she took in everything. Lillian looked misplaced here in Cat Grant’s office, standing behind Cat Grant’s desk. She wanted to drag her mother away at once.

“What are you doing here?” She gritted, “This isn’t your office.”

“Mind your tone, Miss Kieran.” The underlying; ‘remember who you are when people are around, dear,’ rang loud under that. “I know we’re in hard times but it’s no reason for such rudeness. It’s unbecoming.”

Lena’s grip on the forgotten letter tightened again. Her heart clenched painfully at the dismissal, shoulders hunched, properly chastised. Was it too much to ask for her mother not to feel ashamed of her? Did Lillian even care about anything other than business? Did she know who found Cat Grant’s body?

Perhaps, it was Lena’s fault for expecting too much from the people around her. She can feel Kara’s burning gaze from the side which she expressly ignored as Lillian’s voice continued.

“Especially when you’re talking to your future employer. Since you were Cat Grant’s PA, it’s only fitting that you’ll be mine. I would need—”

“James is the interim successor for CatCo,” Kara cut in effectively. Steel in her voice. “As agreed with the board of directors. A unanimous vote which you have no say in, Mrs Luthor.”

Lillian gave a dramatic sigh. “This again? Yes, I heard you the sixteen times before Miss Danvers. Kara, do you mind if I call you Kara?” She smiled sharply without breaking her gaze but Lena felt it directed to her regardless. “Your reputation precedes you. A promising journalist under Cat’s tutelage herself. I always admired Cat Grant and her sharp-wittedness. CatCo and her legacy deserved the very best which was why the last-minute decision swap.”

James crossed his arms against his chest. “That still doesn’t explain why LuthorCorp bought Catco.”

“Well, if I was to explain my business module to you, Mr Olsen, we would be here all day and then some, I’m not even sure you’d understand any of it, see, there are no pictures.”

James looked red in the face, his posture tense as if ready to sucker punch her. But, Kara laid a hand on his arm, stopping him.

Bored, Lillian took a seat again. Cat Grant’s chair was still there, as with everything else in the room. They didn’t even change anything. Were they ever going to?

“Now, Lena, would you mind escorting these two out? We have much to discuss.”

Lena moved forward instead and placed her crumpled resignation letter on the desk. “I quit.”

It was Kara who spoke first, “What?”

Lena didn’t acknowledge her, merely stood her ground and waited for her mother.

“Leave,” Lillian said to Kara and James before fixing her gaze back at Lena. “Lena and I need to talk privately.”

“I have nothing else to say.”

“Then, you’ll listen.”

Lena’s head pounded whether because of irritation or something else, she didn’t know but she didn’t leave. How can she? It was better to let her mother say her piece now rather than be hounded by it at a later date. Not that it would deter Lena’s resolve on the matter.

Lillian raised a perfect eyebrow directed over Lena’s shoulder. “Why are you two still here?”

It seemed Kara was reluctant to leave. Lena could feel a burning gaze from her at the back of her head that Lena almost turned around to see if Kara was using her heat vision. But, Lena wouldn’t be defeated and she didn’t think she could face those blue eyes again without breaking down.

“Good morning,” another voice suddenly joined inside the office, making everyone’s attention focus on the newcomers. It was Maggie. She greeted Lena with a smile not quite there, two officers were on each of her sides without any of her familiar warmness.

“For goodness sake,” Lillian rose from her seat once again, “This is becoming rather tiresome. Is this visitation day?”

“We’re here on official business, ma’am.” One of the officers explained. “Miss Kieran, please come with us.”

Lena stood frozen at being called out. She suddenly felt suffocated with all the eyes now directed at her.

“What is this about?” Lillian had now stood directly in front of Lena, blocking her sight from the police officers.

She didn’t even notice her mother walking around the table to stand in front of the conversations that were currently still ongoing. Her thoughts filled with dread at the officer’s last word. Come where? To the station? Was she being arrested?

Unwanted memories that had no place to exist inside her mind, reinforced and tucked away by mental walls began to crack layer by layer.

No, she can’t go back there. She can’t. She can’t. She can’t. She can’t.

“Lena,”

She swallowed the bile that threatened to escape. “Maggie,”

“C’mon,” Maggie placed a comforting hand on her lower back, urging her to walk towards the balcony of the office. The other two officers stayed where they were, Lillian still grilling them with questions, James and even Kara stayed with them.

The pounding inside Lena’s head was increasing by the seconds, loud against her ears that she could barely hear what Maggie was saying. Lena searched for self-control, try to calm down and found them in Kara’s piercing blue eyes, not straying from her own even as they gain distance from each other.

“...okay?” Maggie finished, expectantly. Lena finally tore her gaze away.

“Wh—What? Can you repeat that?”

Maggie at least didn’t look annoyed by her lack of attention. “I’m saying that you don’t have to worry. We’re just going to ask you the same question I asked the other day and some more questions to get a clearer timeline. Take your statement in a more official manner. We need proper documentation of everything that’s why we need to take you in.”

The composure that Lena held shattered. The cracks were now upon the last defence and she couldn’t hold on anymore.

They need to take her in, Maggie said. Lena needs to go to the station. She has to go there and—and be there again— the last time— last time— no, she can’t. She can’t. She can’t go back to that place again.

“Le—“

There was a gun in Lena’s hands.

Shouting, outside the office. The walls were glass so her colleagues could see what was happening in their boss’ room. And they were running away from it.

Running away from Lena, pointing a gun at the people in the room—Maggie’s gun that Lena had grabbed from the holster far too easily. Maggie was too trusting. Too kind.

But, not anymore. “Lena, put the gun down.”

Lillian cautiously stood beside her. “What are you doing?” She hissed. “Stop this foolishness at once.”

“Shut up!” The gun in her hands shook with the force of her voice, effectively rendering everyone silent. Lena took the moment to study the room with a heaving chest. The two officers were pointing their guns at her. James had escaped the room to herd every staff on the floor to safety. Maggie and Lillian stood side by side with a matching grimness on their face.

And Kara... Kara was doing nothing but staring into Lena’s soul, horrified.

“I can’t go back there,” Lena shook her head, willing Kara to understand. “Please, I can’t go back there.”

“Lena, give me the gun. Whatever it is we can talk about it peacefully.” Maggie moved into her line of vision again. Her tone was still soft, placating but neutral. Kara took that chance to slip away unnoticed.

And then a few seconds later, Supergirl entered in a gust of wind from the balcony and stood in front of Maggie and everyone else, ready to become their shield if necessary. She could have easily taken the gun away but somehow didn’t. Perhaps Lena could still save this. She just needed Kara to understand.

“Lena,”

Kara might have been saying everything or nothing at all at once with that word alone.

“I can’t go back there,” Lena repeated. Her arms were beginning to sore. Her skull felt like it was about to burst.

“Go where Lena?” Kara asked, looking equally distressed as Lena felt. “Please talk to me.”

“I ca-can't...go. They—“ Her fractured memories couldn’t be mended anymore, but the one thing that was clear was the terror she had experienced in that place. “They—I can’t!”

She’d rather die than experienced that again. Maybe, she could arrange that.

“Lena!” She blinked her eyes open to blur images and cool metal pushing under her chin. “Look at me, Lena.”

Kara’s face soon cleared. She looked stricken more than usual. “I didn’t do it,” Lena said. She needed Kara to believe her. “It wasn’t me.”

Tears streaked down Kara’s face. “I know. I believe you.”

Slowly, she stepped forward, little by little. Afraid and determined.

“I believe you and I won’t let them hurt you... You’re not alone, anymore. I will always protect you, no matter what. Always.”

How can Lena not believe that when those blue eyes were so earnest and bare? So she let Kara approach her until they were only at arm’s length, until they were face to face, breathing the same breath, their foreheads touching and Kara’s hands gripping Lena’s before she lowered the gun away from under them.

Warmth spread through, replacing the cold, moments ago.

“Thank you, Supergirl.” Maggie broke the silence, relieved now that her gun was safely in her possession again. “We’ll take over from here.”

“Sorry, Maggie. I can’t let you take her.”

“What?”

But, Supergirl had already flown away. Lena tucked safely in her embrace.

Chapter Text

“Oh god,” Lena scrambled to right herself as soon as her feet landed on solid ground again. Oh god, oh god...she had messed everything up. What had she done? What was she thinking?

Of course, she wasn’t thinking. Not really.

What she knew was the fear of that moment, whether the terror of her long-forgotten nightmare would soon become a reality again. This was what had made her grab Maggie’s gun, and subsequently threaten civilians and the police officers there at CatCo just so she could get away from all of it. Now, somewhat sane again, Lena was sure that kind of thing wouldn’t just disappear without consequences. Was she going to be locked up again?

Her chest tightened considerably to the point that it was starting to hurt each time she drew a breath.

Distantly, she heard another voice amidst the buzzing in her ears, encouraging her of some sort before her face was cradled gently and tilted upwards. Kara swam into her vision and then the voice became clearer.

“C’mon Lena, you can do it, that’s it,” Kara inhaled a big breath and blew them out loudly which Lena imitated. “Yes, good. You’re doing great. Just breathe. There you go.”

Gradually, Lena felt her chest loosen up as more oxygen filled her lungs. When the pain in her chest was no more, it migrated to her knees. She realized the position she was currently in, kneeling on the ground where rough patches of muddy grass and small pebbles were cutting through her jeans.

“You okay?”

Lena focused on the voice in front again. Kara was in the same position, still in Supergirl suit, their hands connected at the forearms, breathing close.

With a quick resolve, Lena nodded her answer indicating she was fine and moved to stand up, eager to get away from her soulmate. Humiliation was what bloomed inside. She couldn’t believe how weak she had become. She wasn’t some damsel in distress, goddammit! She was more than this version of her.

And Kara had seen too much of Lena’s vulnerable state that she decided enough was enough. Without preamble, she started to walk away.

“Lena?” When there was no answer, Kara super-speed, effectively blocking her way. “Lena, where are you going?”

The wind blew around them, rustling the leaves hanging from nearby trees. Kara’s question went round and round Lena’s mind, resulting in a returning headache from this morning. Where could she go? She was currently in the middle of nowhere. All around there were trees and more greenery. It looked like a large park but there were no people relaxing about on a picnic or even benches and pathways built in. It was beautiful when Mother Nature was left alone without human intervention.

First, she decided she needed to get out of here. Find a place to stay and rest. She was exhausted. She just wanted to sleep if possible. But, she couldn’t do that with Kara, vigilant and still blocking her way.

So she fixed Supergirl a determined gaze, recalling the question. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Wha— Why?”

“Yeah, Kara. Why do you want to know?” When Kara only closed and opened her mouth to no successful answer, Lena scoffed and stomped past her. She needed to find a way out of this damn park.

Her peaceful walk didn’t last long, Kara’s looming existence ever-present behind her. “What— What kind of question is that? Do you realize the situation we’re in right now?” The wind suddenly howled, making Kara raise her voice. “You stole a gun from the police! From Maggie! Can we talk about that?”

Lena whirled around so fast, her back twanged. In fact, her whole body seemed to be on fire as she faced the Kryptonian. “Why?” She matched the volume. “Why do you even care? You never stay long enough to talk about anything important. Why is this any different?”

“Lena—“

“You cannot just come and go as you please, asking me questions, hurtful questions when it suits you just so I can pass whatever moral compass you have and then completely ignoring me like I didn’t even exist and be caring whenever it’s that time of the month again!”

Kara’s answer was immediate. “I was grieving! Rao, I was grieving, Lena because my boss, my mentor, my friend was murdered. What do you want from me?”

“Nothing! I want nothing from you. So, you can fly back to National City and pretend I don’t exist.”

Kara huffed, affronted. “I’m not leaving yo—“

“I don’t need you, do you understand, Supergirl?” Lena’s chest was heaving but she paid it no mind, scowling at the blonde in front. “I handed my resignation and I was going to leave town. And hey, will you look at that, I already left town. So, mission accomplished, you can go now.”

“And what am I supposed to say when Maggie asked your whereabouts?”

Lena’s heart stopped, jaw worked back and forth. “I can’t tell you what to say or do. Do whatever you want.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Well, you should’ve thought about that before you grab that gun. Do you even think befo—“

“Oh, now you sound just like my mother.”

“Maybe she has a point.”

“If you and your god-complex wasn’t so enormo—“

“How else was I suppo—“

“You didn’t have to take me awa—“

“And let Maggie take you inste—“

“So, what—now what? What’s your genius pl—”

“Oh, clearly you’re the genius here, Lena. With all the plan and the cure for canc—“

“Fuck you, Kara. I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask for you to be here. I didn’t ask for you to save me or take me—“

“What was I supposed to do?! You were going to kill yourself!”

The wind was still howling all around them. It seemed like a storm was coming. Lena’s body was shaking not because of the growing cold but the burning inside her. Kara wasn’t doing much better, chest heaving and face flushed red, blue eyes shined with the same fire Lena felt under her skin.

“You were going to kill yourself,” Kara said again, more calmly though no less intense.

Lena swiped her sweaty forehead, closing her eyes to calm down, but, more so because she couldn’t bear to look into those sky-blue eyes anymore. She didn’t even want to think about what Kara had said or about anything else. She just needed a bed to lie on. So, without much else to say, she left Kara, continuing on her journey out of this place alone.

She counted to ten in her mind before she wasn’t alone anymore.

Kara’s presence appeared behind again with matching footsteps. She didn’t stay quiet for long, “Where are you going?”

“A motel...or something.”

“Way out is the other way.”

Lena turned to face Kara again, who are now in her civilian clothes, complete with glasses. Her eyes didn’t look any less troubled behind the frame. Though, most of all, she looked worn out. Lena wondered if she looked the same. She felt worse.

“That way?”

At Kara’s confirmation, Lena expertly buried her troubles deep and focused on the task at hand, moving her legs towards civilization correctly this time. Kara trailed after her ten seconds later.

***

Eventually, they found a motel.

After much much walking, they finally got out of the forest and into one dirt road that lead to an asphalt one which then finally lead to a middle of a small town. There were no signs as to where exactly this town was located and the streets and buildings gave no indication. Lena didn’t ask the Kryptonian behind her which she didn’t offer anyway, choosing to remain silent still. In fact, neither said much else after their last interaction hours ago.

So, it was a relief to Lena’s sore feet when she finally found a building resembling a motel. It was an old-looking thing, isolated from the others. Tired and restless, she went in there without thinking twice.

“Excuse me,” Lena breathed, slumping against the reception table. A young woman sat behind it, legs propped up, hands and eyes glued to her phone. “Do you have a room available?”

The woman slowly peered away from her device and then stood up, gaze lazily studying Lena up and down and then over her shoulder. “Double room costs 98 dollars per night.”

“Single room is fine,” Lena corrected.

“48 dollars.”

Lena paid with cash, lucky that she carried her wallet before going out of the house today, and grabbed her room key. She walked past Kara, trying hard not to look at her face, and went out of the lobby into the accommodation building.

Room 4 was only twenty or so steps from the lobby entrance and without wasting time she unlocked the door and got inside.

A single bed was in the middle of the small room, with a bedside table and a lamp. A TV, boxy and old looking across the bed. No windows aside from a small one from the bathroom. The only exit was through the door she unlocked.

Satisfied with her room’s layout, Lena walked back to the door where Kara still stood outside. Green eyes finally flitting up to find blue, “You can leave, wait or help some granny cross the street or whatever else that the almighty Supergirl do. Just leave me out of it.”

Kara was already opening her mouth to say something but Lena shut the door in her face before throwing herself on the bed. She needed a goddamn nap.

***

Hours later, Lena woke up disoriented and to pitch-black surroundings.

Groaning, she slowly sat up and waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark. Blearily and with still a pounding headache, she strode to the bathroom and flicked the lights on. It burned her retina for a second before she buried her face in cool water from the sink.

The outside light that she could see from the small window had also darkened. She must have slept longer than initially planned.

Wiping her face dry, she turned off the bathroom light and exited, making plans in her head to find some food.

She stopped short right at the door. The last time she closed it was to Kara’s face.

Slowly, Lena grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. Dimly lighted hallways greeted her, desolate and grim. She scoffed to herself. Of course Kara wasn’t there anymore. It wasn’t like she was some puppy—god, Lena missed her little kittens— to have waited obediently outside. And in all fairness, she did in fact tell Kara to get lost. Besides, Supergirl had more important things to do than be here, babysitting or whatever the hell she intended to do anyway.

Lena didn’t even need Kara here.

So decidedly, she walked to the nearest eatery, wanting to fill her rumbling stomach in hope that her headache and her additional sore throat would lessen eventually.

Four blocks after found her inside a local diner. She sat near the back, the entrance clear in view. A waitress came and was ready to take her order before her cushioned seat was even warmed. Her palms felt clammy at the inquiring stare.

“Um, can I see the menu?”

The waitress’ practised smile dimmed. “Don’t have one, sweetie. Same ol’ simple food we made here.”

All around, chatters from patrons and clacking of utensils against plates begin to overload Lena’s senses. It wasn’t even packed. She clenched her jaw, still waiting for elaboration. A list or some kind of explanation of this simple menu, but suddenly someone slid into the seat in front of her.

“What are you doing here?” Her exasperation burst forth to the Kryptonian who had just arrived instead.

Kara didn’t look bothered by it. Blue eyes clear behind those glasses. “Helping some granny cross the street, what else?” When Lena only brewed in silence, Kara looked to the side, smiling thinly at the waitress. “Hi, I’ll have a burger and strawberry milkshake, please.”

“Sure thing hon’. And you?”

“Same. Thanks.”

Lena thought of moving to another table just in spite but part of her, a huge one at that, didn’t want to be apart from Kara unnecessarily anymore. Maybe it was because of the bond they shared maybe it wasn’t. The conclusion was that Kara’s presence replaced the initial nerves and now Lena was comforted.

Though it wasn’t whole, something foul was waiting to come out. Some anger and annoyance. Not at Kara per se but at the situation Lena found herself in.

It was all very unfair. She did her time. She was supposed to start living but now there was another hurdle she needed to face before all else.

In front, Kara’s eyes kept flickering all around the diner except at her and Lena was irritated again.

“I’m not coming back.”

Blue eyes finally settled on Lena. With a deep breath, Kara said “You can come back, Lena. Maggie won’t press any charges.”

“What?” Lena asked, perplexed. “Did you talk to her?”

Kara just nodded. “You’re free to go.”

It couldn’t be that easy. She threatened police officers and civilians. “Just like that?”

“Everyone’s willing to let what happened slide. A misunderstanding. All she needs is your official statement about Cat Grant’s case.”

There was a subtle pause when Kara said her mentor’s name. Lena wanted to offer comfort to the obviously still grieving woman but found herself retreating. Kara didn’t need that from her.

And besides, if Maggie wanted her statement, that meant Lena had to go to the station, wasn’t it? Her ears began to ring, disoriented. Chest constricted. She’d have to go to the police station. She’d have to—

“—row morning?”

“What?”

A frown appeared on Kara’s brows, a crinkle at the centre of her forehead. Concerned blue eyes studied Lena’s face. “I’m going to bring Maggie here so she can interview you. Tomorrow morning, either here or back at the motel. What do you think?”

Lena’s heart calmed considerably. Touched. She didn’t need to go to the station. She didn’t need to go to the station. “I... Here’s fine,” A thought occurred suddenly. ”No, wait...actually can you take me back to National City? I need my charger. She can interview me at the house, right? If she’s willing to fly here then we can do it at the house. It’ll be easier for her and you don’t need to fly her here, wherever here is.”

The image of Maggie in Kara’s arms held close high in the sky left a bitter taste in her mouth. She sipped at her coffee that was poured earlier, trying to chase it away. Across, Kara stared with eyes that sparkled, the corner of her lips barely lifted like she was suppressing a smile...or a smirk.

Lena huffed, putting the cup of coffee none too gently back on the table. “My phone’s been dead hours ago. I need to charge it. Besides, I missed Aramis, Athos and Porthos. I don’t want them thinking I abandon them.”

Kara did smile at that. Small and soft. “Okay. Let’s go back after dinner.”

Their food came in then, lighting up the Kryptonian some more.

They ate in silence. Greasy bites intermittent with sugary strawberry thickness to chase them down.

“They’re fine by the way,” Kara broke the silence, “Our little musketeers.”

Lena ignored Kara’s wording of ‘our’ and quirked her eyebrow in question.

“I went by your house earlier, thought I’d check on them. Filled their bowl, changed their litter box and I met Lillian.”

Lena swallowed the bite of burger quickly. “She came by the house?”

Kara hummed in the affirmative before taking a sip of her milkshake. “She asked where I took you and if you were okay.”

“Oh,” Guilt crept inside. The last time Lena saw her mother was at gunpoint.

Oblivious, Kara continued, “She caught me rummaging in the trash which I was not. Porthos was the one going at it or was it Aramis...anyway, he ate the trash right after their meal. I think he has trauma of being starved while living on the street, which I don’t think was possible. He’s still a baby. Barely 3 months.”

“7 weeks,” Lena corrected fondly, Kara was probably talking about Athos.

“7 weeks! That’s sad. We should get him looked at. So, as I was saying, Lillian came in while I was cleaning up the trash. We had a little chat. She mostly asked questions about you, if I knew your name, who you really were.” Kara paused looking slightly disturbed.

Lena frowned. “What is it?”

“It’s just...did you mention who I was or that we’re soulmates to her?”

“Of course not. We agree not to tell anyone before we’re ready.”

“Right, it’s just it seems like she knows something’s going on,” Kara shrugged then, “Never mind, she’s probably just worried about you.”

“Yes, one might say I was kidnapped. By Supergirl nonetheless.”

The joke didn’t land as much as Lena wanted it to. Kara’s face grew solemn, gaze down as she continued eating. How can it not when they both knew what had brought them to this moment.

“When your interview with Maggie is done,” Kara spoke again, still not looking up, “Are you still leaving town?”

Lena chewed slowly. Truthfully, she didn’t even know anymore. She wanted to stay by Kara’s side, but with everything that’s been going on with Cat Grant’s murder, their fight, and Lena’s secret of being a Luthor, Kara didn’t seem to want to talk about any of it even now. She ran to Midvale when Lena was trying to apologize. The only reason the Kryptonian came back was because of Cat Grant. Everything else was just happenstance. There was nothing left for Lena in National City.

“That’s the plan.”

Blue eyes locked on hers. “Where would you go?”

Lena had no idea where to start. If she’d even have the money to do anything she wanted. She half smiled. “All over, see what the world’s got to offer.”

“That’s great, Lena.”

Kara didn’t ask for her to stay or invite herself into the equation. And neither did Lena.

Later that evening, Supergirl flew them back to National City. Under the night sky, cool breeze and thick silence their company all the way.

***

The second Lena stepped inside the house, three grey little fur balls swarmed her with tiny viscous cries. Athos skipped that and went straight to climb her pants while Aramis and Porthos kept rubbing themselves on her, mewling loud. She scooped the two up her arms as Athos successfully reached her chest, joining his two brothers.

For the first time that day, an honest-to-god smile formed along her lips.

She missed her three little musketeers so much even if it wasn’t that long ago that she’d left the house to hand in her resignation at CatCo. Aramis’s purring and Porthos’s pawing at her cheek might suggest that they agreed with her.

“I’ll let you rest,” Kara’s voice was close beside her.

Lena’s attention shifted, realizing they were still in the entryway. Kara’s soft smile greeted Lena, making the thump thump of her heart beat loudly. She didn’t want Kara to go just yet but voicing her thoughts required bravery that she didn’t possess right now.

“Thank you...for everything.”

Kara nodded, lingered. Athos chose that moment to jump from his perch on Lena’s shoulder to Kara’s outstretched arms before she even moved to catch him. Lena latched onto his bravery and offered to make some tea since Athos wasn’t ready to let Kara leave just yet.

When Kara accepted the invitation, Lena’s hope soared.

They moved to the kitchen, Kara settled at the kitchen island, playing with all three of the little felines while Lena moved around the kitchen to prepare the tea.

It was to Athos on his back, belly exposed to Kara’s scratching fingers, Aramis taking a nap in the inside of her elbow and Porthos biting his own tail that Lena served Kara’s cup of tea.

They shared a moment of comfortable silence. Body warmed by the brew and insides warmed by the existence of adorable kittens.

A ping inserted itself into the combination. Kara reached out for her phone, gaze focused as she typed something back. Lena traced every movement as subtly as she could.

“Everything okay?” She tried for nonchalance, petting Athos who had joined Aramis and Porthos for a nap.

Kara’s eyes flickered to her for a moment before she continued typing. “Yeah, it’s just Alex, giving me updates.”

“Updates on what?”

“Eliza. She was in a car accident.”

Lena froze. “What? Kara—“

“It’s nothing serious,” Kara interrupted, setting her phone aside to cradle her cup of tea again. “Well, it kinda was serious, her car got T-boned, but she’s okay, thank Rao. Just a mild concussion and a broken hand. She’s already back at home.”

“God, Kara...I’m glad she’s okay.”

“Me too,” Kara solemnly agreed, shoulders relaxed again as she sipped her tea.

Lena was struck with a realization that maybe Kara leaving for Midvale wasn’t completely because of their fight, because of Lena’s lie, but because of Eliza. The timing fitted perfectly. And yet, instead of being at home with Eliza, with family, Kara chose to help the situation with Maggie and to be here with her now.

God, Lena was such an egotistical fool.

“Kara...” She took a shuddering breath, this was her chance. “I’m sorry... I’ve been meaning to say that ever since you left that day, when I told you who I really was. I kept a part of myself from you. I lied when you asked me if I was really a Luthor. I’m sorry.”

Blue eyes locked onto hers, intense and shimmering. Lena tried not to fidget or look away, needed Kara to understand she was sincere, that she truly regretted it.

A soft sigh escaped the Kryptonian, her gaze downwards. “Thank you for the apology... I don’t know if I can fully let it go yet. It still hurts when I think about it. This isn’t the first time something like this happen. Before you came into my life, someone close to me lied to me too about who he really was. He manipulated my feelings, knowing that I cared about him, and he took advantage of my ignorance. I felt stupid. I was the fool in the relationship. And then you lied too...when I asked you not once, but twice, you had every chance to tell me the truth Lena but you didn’t. And for a time, I can’t help but start thinking maybe I was the problem.”

“No, Kara! You’re not the problem,” Hand reached out to Kara’s forearm, squeezing it tightly until Kara looked up again. “I’m the fool. I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I kept it a secret. Me being a Luthor isn’t exactly an accomplishment. It’s nothing for you to be proud of. I had no name for myself, my last name isn’t even Luthor in the registry, it’s Kieran. And Kieran isn’t even my last name, it’s my middle name. I don’t have any last name, Kara, because I’m nobody. I’m not important.”

“You are important to me, Lena.”

“Because we’re soulmates,” Lena smiled sadly.

Kara shook her head, frowning like Lena just said something offensive. “No, not just because of that. Even if we’re not soulmates, even if—“

A loud ringing cut in. They both snapped towards the vibrating phone, pausing, tensing, before Kara swiped it and answered with a curt hello.

Lena released a breath, closed her eyes and tried to relax. It was hard to do so when the person across her turned frozen, gaze locked on hers.

“Something wrong?”

Rather than answering, Kara finally moved to stand up from her seat, strode to the living room, and found the remote to put the TV on. Lena followed from behind with a building dread in the pit of her stomach.

It bottomed out when she caught herself on TV.

Everything slowed down. Her breathing, her surrounding, Kara’s worried calling of her name.

All of Lena’s attention was poured into watching the video of herself being shot from afar, angle coming from somewhere behind a desk at CatCo, a gun in her hands, threatening Maggie, Lillian and the two police officers, like some kind of a fever dream. But, it wasn’t a dream. It was real. She did that. And now all of her actions were broadcasted for everyone to see.