Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was late at night, a deafening silence falling over the casita as his sisters, mother and the rest of the village beyond settled into their beds. Seemingly always the odd one out, Bruno was wide awake, enjoying the breathing space he rarely got in the latest hours of night. Bruno watched the candle's flame from his spot on the balcony, looking toward the windowsill, bathed in moonlight. The flame was forever undying, its soft glow seeming to melt his worries simply by being there. The candle meant so much to the family, almost felt like a beacon of hope that the others would gravitate towards. Its light forever reminded him of his family and the expectations he and his siblings were constantly facing. He never, ever doubted that his siblings' burdens bore heavier on them than himself, but he couldn't help but feel stuck along the way.

Their gifts were gifts… in a sense of the word. His sister Julieta could heal you just by making anything. She was clearly Mamà's favorite, but he supposed it was fair. Her gift didn't drench people around them or give them undeserved bad news. Mamà was always following her around, praising her for her hard work after a long day, always insisting that the other two work to be as responsible as her. Bruno really admired his sister, but couldn't help the twinge of jealousy in his gut at the thought that Mamà kept her close, with him and Pepa at arm's length.

Pepa was a beacon of weather, clouds often swirling around her when she felt anxious or stressed, or upset, and depending on how much she felt, the village was always at the risk of crazy weather if she didn't have the tightest grip on her emotions. Bruno and Pepa were closer in this regard. He'd often help her calm down if she got too heated, not minding if he got a shock or two on the way there. They needed clear skies - on Mamà's request - and he wasn't going to argue. Just a few days ago she'd been broken up with and had to be consoled before she made the tiny town flood with her tears.

And then there was him. He couldn't help feeling like a blot on the miracle, completely out of place with the rest of the siblings. He didn't heal others, or give them warm sun to play under… he instead had visions. It didn't sound so bad when he first opened the door, peering into his newly constructed vision cave. The future was cool, but it was also scary in ways he couldn't describe… like knowing too much for your own good. He'd even begun to hate having them, involuntarily or not. He wanted to hide away rather than tell others what was going to happen to them. He couldn't understand why they always got so mad at him, or cried, or demanded for it to be read again. It frightened him. He'd much rather stay in his room with his rats, out of the way, and forget about his gift.

The candle that he'd been watching all this time flickered in the wind, pulling him out of his thought cloud. Looking to the starry sky and then back, he decided to pray, holding onto the bars of the railing, feet hanging in the air. Concentrating, he closed his eyes.

please show me what my purpose is… he thought, the miracle being his only true hope at this point. I want to be important and useful, like Julieta…

His eyes shot open and he jumped, feeling a strange, almost tickling feeling along his back he knew almost too well. Relaxing, he greeted the tiny head that poked out of the neck of his ruana. “Hey there,” He muttered. “You startled me, mi conjito.” The little rat crept out farther, placing their little paws on his face and giving his nose some comforting licks. He couldn’t help but break into a smile. They always knew how to make him feel better. His two other rat friends joined in, crawling up the same avenue as the last. He was lost in a swarm of fur and tails, before two returned through the neck to squirm under his shirt. One stayed, lazing on his shoulder. Bruno breathed a sigh, looking up at the stars and ever-shifting moon on this clear night. Maybe things would be okay.

Chapter Text

Upon daybreak, the casita was buzzing with activity once again. Ignoring the light, he covered his head with his hood and blanket and turned carefully in his hammock to avoid the shafts of sun invading his slumber. Julieta must have been working her usual magic, inviting anyone who so much as had a scratch over to try her foods. Though he was proud his sister had such a bustling business, he hated the constant noises that were hard to shut out. People being over also made him incredibly nervous. He was afraid to even get breakfast most of the time, and be pulled into the crowd of people who he’d known most of his life - some he didn’t and was afraid to disappoint - begging for a scrap of his knowledge. Above all, he could see the way it made Pepa feel. Nobody swarmed her for her gift unless it was a special occasion, and the demand was always sunny. He’d place a comforting hand on her arm, and spitefully she’d pull away. At least we’ve got each other. He thought.

Before too long the bustling died down, and it wasn’t too much longer until he heard the meal bell from the kitchen. Groaning with tiredness still, he reluctantly stepped out of the hammock, feeling the rats still under his shirt stir from his shifting body. He let them out one at a time and smiled as one of them stretched across his shoulder and yawned. “Si, si, mucho fatigado, lo siento.” He apologized, letting them all into the little maze he built for them against the wall. “I’ll come back with food.” He assured, as they scurried around in the maze. They were most likely oblivious to his words, but he still liked to talk to them, considering them his closest friends he could tell anything to.

He set across the stone floor, down the staircase, and past the curtain of sand. Then through his bedroom door, down more stairs, and into the kitchen. Julieta was standing near the sink, cleaning up and eating a bread roll to treat a burn on her hand. She looked very frazzled and tired, her hair sticking up in wisps from the tight bun she usually bound to her head when she was cooking. Her apron was caked in flour and seemed to have an oil stain too. Instantly Bruno felt guilty for not helping and staying up in his room so long. He absent mindedly rapped on the door frame for good luck before greeting her.

“Are you doing okay?” He asked, leaning against the newly cleaned counter. Julieta looked up at him, weariness in her eyes, but smiled warmly.

“I’ll be fine.” She assured, patting his back. Her hand was now healed before his eyes. “Just a little overwhelmed. So many people…” She wet a washcloth in the sink and wiped her forehead clean of sweat. “And that boy must have been in here five times in just an hour! He must be bad luck.” She laughed, but that made Bruno’s nerves spark again. He nervously laughed with her, then crossed his fingers on one hand and held his breath a good ten seconds before continuing.

“Sorry I didn’t help…” He said, guilty. “M-many people make me nervous.” He rubbed his arm apologetically and Julieta looked at him with sadness in her eyes. He was worried he’d disappointed her, but she just grasped one of his hands gently and squeezed it.

“Don’t worry!” She insisted, her voice firm. “Please, don’t. Pepa and Mamà helped!” Her attempt at a reassuring smile made Bruno feel a lot. He took his hand back, still feeling creeping shame, but putting it aside for his hermana.

“Okay.” He agreed, blinking his thanks. A blanket of silence fell over them as Julieta put the last of the bread rolls into the nearby basket and carried them in her arms.

“Come on,” She beckoned over her shoulder as she walked out of the room, grace in every step. “Time for Breakfast.”

Bruno sighed as he watched her go, trailing behind. He gave the doorframe one last rap before heading to the table outside the casita. It was set for just the four of them, with two kinds of rice, eggs, some sausage and some avocado alongside the bread rolls. Breathing a sigh of relief that they didn’t have to share this with anyone else, he sat next to Pepa, whose cloud began to disappear as she took a sip of her coffee.

“Hola Pepita.” He greeted, surprised when she glared at him with a stare that could cut him in half, her cloud thundering above her head. Anxiety flared like a torch in his stomach. What did I do…? What did I say? He couldn’t read her, and she simply returned to her coffee. Before he could get up the courage, Mamà sat down at the head of the table, ready to say grace before they could enjoy the food. They were all silent as Mamà uttered a prayer, and then she began passing the food. As she did, Mamà started her daily rounds of asking about her little miracles.

“So, Julieta.” She began, adding a scoop of rice to her plate. “I’ve been talking to the town about maybe setting up a little shop for you, so you don’t have to slave away at the oven before breakfast.”

Julieta’s eyes shined like stars, as if it was the greatest gift she could ask for. “Really, Mamà?” she asked, excitement quavering in her voice. Bruno couldn’t help but feel happy over his hermanita’s anticipation. This was going to change a lot of things about how things were run, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was still asking too much of her. Mamà simply nodded, a thin smile stretching across her face. She touched Julieta’s cheek lovingly as Julie murmured “gracias” over and over. Wishing her good luck above all else, Bruno made sure to tap his knuckles under the table.

Moving on, she addressed Pepa next. “Pepa, there’s going to be a wedding on friday. Can you try to keep the skies clear?” She asked. Pepa simply grumbled her agreement, stabbing a sausage with her fork as the cloud above her thundered again, though not as much as before. Mamà sighed. “I hope to see that cloud gone by noon today.” She demanded, turning her attention to her food now. Pepa didn’t say anything, she now looked really defeated along with still being angry. Bruno tried not to make it worse by saying anything, taking a bite to eat.

“Bruno.” Mamà said suddenly. He nearly choked on his rice out of surprise, taking a moment to swallow before answering meekly. “Si Mamà?”

“Father Nico wants you to give him insight.” She explained, using a cloth napkin to dab at her mouth before speaking again. “He’s going to be here this afternoon. You’re to give him a vision.” She said it like it was no big deal, but under that he could sense her urgency for him to do well. Though his stomach dropped and he suddenly felt sick, he nodded in understanding, secretly once again tapping the table. How could he give hope to a man whose job was centered around hope? Especially with this curse. He pushed past his anxiety the best he could and ate as much as he could before deciding he was done, the sick feeling spoiling his appetite. By this time, Pepa had already excused herself to her room and Julieta was gathering the leftovers. Before he could return to his room, Bruno knew he had dish duty. He reluctantly followed her, surprised when Mamà didn’t tag along, but not complaining. Julieta had already started the sink by the time he approached and Bruno cut in.

“Sit, manita.” He urged, not about to let her do one more chore. Julieta looked as if she wanted to protest, but the seriousness in his eyes caused her to give in.

“Ooookay.” She drawled, patting him on the back again. “Gracias, manito.” She settled herself on a stool on the kitchen island, setting her chin on her fist comfortably.

He started washing, collecting leftovers onto a spare dish. “It okay if I give some of this to my friends?” He asked. She never said no, but he always asked anyway.

“Don’t worry, whatever they need.” Julieta excused, waving her hand dismissively. “Don’t let Mamà catch you.” She warned, aware that she found his “friends” to be pests.

Bruno nodded, falling silent for a while as the dishes were being done.

“Did you get much sleep last night?” Julieta piped up again, after a small passage of time.

“You noticed?” Bruno asked with a chuckle, suddenly embarrassed. He looked at her again, noticing dark circles under her own eyes.

“Of course.” she affirmed, snickering. “I know you.”

“Well, I know you , and I think you’re overworked.” He put forward, for once being firm in his tone.

Julieta stood defiantly and waved a finger at him in an accusatory manner. “Don’t you try to turn this around on me!” She argued, lighthearted in her tone. “You need to get your sleep!”

Bruno laughed, feeling his nerves from before melting now as he scrubbed the last dish. “Okay, okay,” He gave in. “But only if you promise to take breaks.”

Julieta sighed as she sat down on the stool again, taking in what he said. “I’ll… try.” She returned. “It's just so hard. I feel like so many people are counting on me. Besides, soon it won’t be so bad… once I get the shop up and running, it’ll be so much easier to relax…”

“I know, manita.” He admired how hard working and bold she was. At only fourteen, she’d grown so much. “But you can’t break your hand and expect it to still be able to fix everything. Please, for me, get some rest.”

Julieta sighed, seeing sense in his words. “Alright.” She agreed, inviting Bruno to sit now that he was done with the dishes.

Bruno sat, comfortable beside his hermana. He remembered Pepa’s erratic mood then, and prompted her. “Pepa isn’t mad at me, is she?” He felt the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach again, his brows knitting together. Julieta looked up in surprise, seeming to have forgotten her as well.

“Oh… shoot.” She cursed, seeming to hesitate before explaining. “She… she said when I was making breakfast that her boyfriend- ex boyfriend…” She quickly corrected herself. Bruno’s eyes seemed to bore into her soul then, and she looked down to avoid it, shameful. “She said that he said that… you told him something.” She explained, unsure if this was good or bad news.

“Oh…” Bruno’s mouth felt dry then, and he looked as if he were lost. Julieta tried to reassure him with a touch on his arm and kind words, but he barely heard. Before he could make things awkward, he decided he’d better take the rats breakfast.

“Don’t worry,” He said, trying to keep his voice steady and assure that he was okay, emotionally. “I’ll talk to her.” Before another word could be uttered, he retrieved the leftover plate and raced back up the stairs. Julieta watched after him as he went, concern crossing her features.

Chapter Text

After sorting through what was safe for the rats to eat, Bruno let his little friends enjoy their meal, before they scurried back up his ruana and into his shirt to sleep, all snuggled together. Even their warmth couldn't calm his overactive mind as he paced back and forth, dreading the afternoon. He wasn't sure how long it was until he finally settled down and sat against a wall, sweaty and mentally tired. He hoped with all of his heart that the vision he was to perform was useful and good, but he couldn't stop the sinking feeling that he was always bad luck, and nothing could fix it. No matter how many rituals, no matter if he hoped and wished. He was stuck and there was nothing he could do. There was no rest from his worrying thoughts. Eventually, he was able to drag himself out of his vision cave and try to get some fresh air from the balcony, as well as do some good luck charms and hope for the best. Exiting his room once more and leaning against the railing, he took deep deep breaths, as well as knocked on wood. He finally started to feel even the littlest bit better, leaning to relax into the rail.

Casita nudged his arms then, urging him to look upward. Above him, the sun shone brightly, but clouds were beginning to gather and swirl menacingly with thunder, and he realized he had to face Pepa before Mamà had a fit. Even if she was angry with him, her wrath couldn't make him more nervous than the vision looming on the horizon. He sighed.

"Okay, casita." He resolved out loud, patting the rail with one hand in acknowledgement. "I'll talk to her."

Casita waved the window shutters, beckoning him toward Pepa's room. Reluctantly, he approached, knocking a few extra times on the door for good luck.

"Pepita?" He called gently, receiving only loud thundering in response. Hurt, he called again.

"I-I don't know why you're mad at me…" He fibbed, shuffling his feet. "But I wanna help. What is it?" He begged, desperate for their usual closeness.

Suddenly the door flew inward, catching him off guard. He let out a yipe as Pepa took two fists of his ruana and dragged him in with a force he didn't know she had in her, pinning his back to the wall of her rain proof room.

"Lo siento! Lo siento!" He yelled desperately, out of habit. "Careful! My friends are with me!! Please?" He pleaded, flinching as he shrunk from her dagger-like gaze. The rats were squirming under the cover of his clothes, letting out confused and distressed squeaks. After a moment, she let go, still balling up her fists in rage. She was drenched in rain from a downpour, her dress soaked through, but seemingly was doing a good job of keeping it to herself. He was proud of her self control at that moment. She was quick to shut the door loudly before crossing her arms, her gaze fiery.

"You know what you did!" She accused, venomous. "Don't lie to me!" Thunder cracked loudly after she spoke, the noise made him and his friends jump nervously.

Bruno fidgeted with his hands, still flat against the wall, cowering from her voice. "I don't! Honest!!" He defended, guilt riding in him as he realized technically that was only half-true. "W-well, Julieta said that, that.." He began to explain, voice trembling. "Alexi heard something from me? And that he told you..?"

His sister's sharp gaze turned away from him then, more thunder crackling in her cloud. Bruno took the beat between their words to stroke the snuggling bodies in his shirt that were puffed up with fear, hoping they'd calm down and sleep again. Pepa spoke up then, tiredness in her voice.

"He said YOU told him he'd 'better get a real good job in the future'." Her lips pursed.

Bruno was utterly confused. "Uhm… and?" He prompted. Pepa's gaze snapped back at him, another clap of thunder roaring as rain poured down harder than ever.

"Stupido!" She jabbed. Bruno felt his chest tighten with hurt, but he said nothing, letting his hermana go on. "It was a prophecy, no?!" She insisted, sure of herself.

Bruno found himself choking on a nervous laugh that he forced down to spare her feelings, stunned when he saw she was dead serious. “Pepita, that wasn’t a vision! I swear it!” He insisted, using all his will that she believed him. “I was just giving advice!!”

Pepa looked unsure then, as if she’d made a terrible mistake. The rain around her poured down in sheets as she sighed, slumping into a padded bench by the window, against the wall and across from him. “I’m so exhausted .” She confessed, looking broken.

Bruno didn’t waste any time, putting the rats safely out of the rain on Pepa’s bed before sitting by his hermanita, not caring about the downpour drenching him too. “Tell me about it.” He confided, grasping her hand. Though he didn’t begin to talk about his troubles, not wanting to burden her when she was so heartbroken. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Pepa choked out. Her hand pulled away, but she couldn’t stop herself from putting her arms around his shoulders, hiding her face in his chest. She began to weep into his ruana. He wasted no time holding her close, letting her get all of the emotions out. When the rain let up and she started to sniffle against him, he prompted her again.

“What’s going on Pepita?” He asked gently, endlessly patient with her.

There was a beat, then she managed to put her words together. “I just want to make the family proud. I want a big family. Little miracles…” She trailed, then picked up again. “None of the boys seem to like me. And I…” She shook, more tears coming. “I don’t like me either.”

“Pepita!” Bruno spoke in a hushed, serious voice, meaning every word. “If they don’t like you, they are not worth your time.” He urged, running a hand along her back comfortingly. He didn’t always know what to say when it came to relationships and stuff, but he knew this: “You are so, so strong. You don’t take any crap from anyone, and you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re special to believe it.”

Pepa looked at him, gave him a sad smile, then headbutted his collarbone gently. “I know...” She croaked, her raincloud now only a very light sprinkle. “I feel so much, I think it scares them away.”

“You’ll find someone special, Pepita.” He encouraged, hope in his eyes. “Until then, you don’t have to worry. You have your whole life to have your big familia. And he better love you unconditionally.”

He could see stray tears falling down her face and splatting onto the wood of the bench below. They stayed silent again for a moment, and he focused on the woosh of their breathing, as well as the rats’ squeaking, as they were play-fighting on the bed now. After some time, the cloud dissipated to nothing. Pepa spoke up against the silence.

“I’m still mad.” She admitted. “I just thought it was going so well.”

“He really thought I gave him a prophecy?” Bruno asked, unsure why he would use it as an excuse to break up.

She nodded. “He said ‘Bruno knew my calling’ and that he was going to focus on nothing but his career.”

He couldn’t believe something he said so casually was taken so seriously. “I could talk to him…” He suggested, shrugging.

Pepa shook her head. “He’s not changing his mind. He already decided he’s going to live with his Abuelo.”

A silence fell once again. Pepa began to sit back up, looking around the room at all the rainwater that drenched the floors and the both of them. Nearest the ceiling, a sheen rainbow could be seen in the light.

“I’m sorry I always mess things up for all of us.” Bruno mumbled, looking down at the reflective puddles on the floor, hating the person he saw.

Pepa looked at him with concern, reaching for his hand now, clasping it in both of hers. “You will always belong in this family.” She persisted, that passionate look in her eyes again, as if she’d tear down anyone that so much as said a rude name to him. “No matter what.”

He felt sheepish at her words, looking away again, his heart melting and his stomach twisting. “Gracias, mi manita.” He mumbled, a small smile on his face.

They stayed talking together for who knows how long, their usual banter restored. The tension in the air only lifted more and more as they discussed mundane things and played with the rats. As time ticked away and their clothes dried, Bruno relaxed for the first time in hours. He’d just begun explaining a play he was drafting, using the rats as his actors, when a call from downstairs made his blood run cold and his stomach do flips. Bruno had forgotten all about his dreaded vision appointment - that is, until he heard Mamà calling him from outside the bedroom. Shaking with nerves, he quickly gathered all his friends before bursting out of Pepa’s door.

“Si Mamà?” He called back, hanging over the rail of the balcony.

“Father Nico is here.” She called up to him, her voice demanding respect and best behavior. He gulped, palms sweaty.

He started to make his way down the stairs.

Chapter Text

Bruno approached his Mamà and Father Nico with a hunched, anxious disposition. He was so much taller than either he or his Mamà, with huge fists. The priest stretched out a hand, offering to shake. Bruno was quick to wipe the sweat off on his pants before taking it, his grip feeling stiff while Bruno’s was weak with intimidation.

“It’s nice to see you again, Bruno!” The man spoke with gusto, scanning him up and down. “Haha, I haven’t seen you since you were this big.” His hand pulled away and showed him the height he was referring to, about half his current size.

“Haha, yeah…” He played with a loose string on his clothing. “I haven’t been out of the casita in a while.” He put simply, hoping that wouldn’t prompt further questioning. To his dismay, the Father seemed to open his mouth to start, but Mamà was quick to move them along, impatient. And she doesn’t want you to make the family look like fools. His thoughts taunted.

“Anyway Father, whatever guidance you need, our little Brunito can help.” She addressed the holy man, before gazing back at Bruno, a determined look crossing her features. “You can show him to your room, si?” She prompted, and Bruno made sure to stand up straight, willing to try to make a good impression, even if the dread in his heart made him want to run to his room and hide forever.

“Si, Mamà.” His voice wavered slightly, he could feel sweat beading on his brow. Gesturing to the stairs, he led the priest to his room, past the sand curtain and into the vision cave, hoping that Father Nico didn’t see him trembling the entire time they made the climb. The man seemed interested in the structure, musing about how big it was on the inside compared to how it looked outside, but Bruno could barely pay attention to his exact words. While out of eyesight, Bruno wiped his brow of sweat. I have to do this. For the family. For Mamà. For the miracle. Please, please let this be a good vision. He took a deep breath and crossed his fingers to try and calm down. When he felt better, he tried to engage in the priest’s small talk.

“Haha, yeah…” He croaked awkwardly. Bruno tried to ignore his heart thudding against his ribs. “A lot of people say that… when they come here.” Oh gosh… I am gonna blow this . Curse his nerves. His fingers itched to knock the wood, but there was none around him in his vision cave. He settled for stroking the rats through his shirt, who were again snuggled up to each other, fast asleep to the rhythm of his careful steps.

“Uhm, s-so.” He blurted, now that they arrived in the wide open room. “Aqui,” He took the hand of the man and guided him to sit on a spot on the floor, cross-legged. “So, what exactly are you wanting to know?” He asked, turning to retrieve a pot, filled to the brim with the sand he used for the ritual he liked to do, for good luck and peace of mind.

The priest suddenly sighed, and Bruno turned to look at him, clutching his pot tightly. Father Nico had his face partially obscured by one of his hands in exasperation. Panic made Bruno’s skin crawl as he worried he’d done or said something wrong, but the man went on. “I’m just lost.” He confessed. “I need direction. Did I make the right choice, coming here? Will I continue to bring faith to others around me? Is this where I'm meant to be?”

Bruno found himself staring too long, saying nothing. When Father Nico looked back up, he jumped, almost dropping his pot. “Uuh, si, yes, I could look into your future for that… no problemo…” He trailed off, looking away, and began laying the ring of sand around them, along with the little piles he used to construct the vision tablet. He then used oil, pooling it in little puddles in the sand.

“Do you do this… every time?” The priest questioned. Bruno looked up from his careful placement for a moment to acknowledge him.

“Y-yeah, if I can…” He stammered, now hauling the pot of oil back to its place. “It… helps me focus.”

“That’s good.” The priest commented. “No need to rush. Patience is a virtue after all.” He went on, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. If we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” His quote was recited with an air of wisdom that felt nice to hear.

Bruno laughed politely. “I knew there was something to that!” Suddenly, he felt the furry bodies of his friends stirring in his shirt under his ruana. He noticed with terror that his whole body was sweating uncomfortably from how nervous he was, and the rats wanted out. Before he could say anything, they all popped out of his shirt from the neck and both arms, scrambling up the little shelves along the wall that they would often play on. Horrified, he turned back to Father Nico. He stared back in astonishment, that didn’t reveal either way if he approved or disapproved. Panicked, Bruno clasped his hands together.

“Por favor, don’t tell Mamà about that!” He begged, so scared his vision started to tunnel. His mind flooded with all the possibilities of what she would say to him if she knew her guest saw rats in her house.

To his surprise, Father Nico simply stared, then shook his head, then seemed to brush off the sight. “It’s… not the first time I’ve been shocked by a Madrigal, I suppose.” He excused, not looking at him now.

Bruno turned away, hot embarrassment flooding through him. He took a moment to collect himself, now crossing both of his fingers and holding his breath repeatedly, until he could breathe somewhat normally. Defeated, he grabbed a stick, match and a handful of sand, sitting down in front of the holy man. They looked at each other for a moment, and then Bruno breathed a stressed sigh.

“Mama doesn’t know about me keeping them…” He said meekly, “-But! They’re like my only friends, and they’re not dirty, and I don’t keep them with me all the time-” A thousand excuses tumbled out, before Father Nico raised a hand, as a gesture for Bruno to listen.

“I won’t tell her, If it means so much to you.” The Father complied, acknowledging his wishes. Bruno wanted to cry with relief, but instead, he nodded to him firmly. He took a moment to focus and, not willing to waste Father Nico’s time any longer, he threw the sand over his right shoulder for good luck, before lighting the match. His fingers trembled as he touched the flame to the pools of oil, first with the match and then with the stick. When the small fires were lit, he took a breath and concentrated, closing his eyes. He shook as he reached out to grasp the older man’s hands, and only when they touched did he open his eyes again. His vision swam with tones of emerald, the sand kicking up around them in a whirlwind. Bruno’s eyes flicked anxiously around the dome of sand that was forming, looking carefully to see the signs of what was to come.

A glowing shape of a person formed - a figure belonging to the man grasping his hands. He could see him speaking for the congregation, then holding a baby during a baptismal ceremony. Before long, it shifted into someone else… no, the same man. Except…

“What?!” The exclamation surprised Bruno so much that he broke concentration and let go, and the dome of sand fell almost immediately. Bruno flinched from the falling debris. He was still seeing everything in shades of green, and was confused.

“Y-you become head of the church!” He explained frantically, trying to blink away the green. “You baptize many people!”

“And then I lose my hair?!” Father Nico crowed, disbelief and anger in his voice. Bruno wanted to curl up under a blanket and hide for a year, utterly ashamed he did the vision at all. The green tint began to fade away, allowing him to see properly again, and he could see that the holy man was uncharacteristically frustrated, his brows furrowing as he rubbed his eyes with annoyance. “What kind of guidance is that?!”

Hurt twisting his heart, Bruno gazed at the tablet on the floor near his feet, loosely dusted with sand. It showed Father Nico smiling as if for a photo, completely bald. He couldn’t understand either, and he felt too defeated to try. “lo siento por hacerte perder el tiempo.” He explained quickly, hopeless.

Father Nico gave one last sigh and stood, leaving him behind with the piles and piles of sand. He didn’t wait for Bruno to follow or show him out, just left. Bruno covered his face with his hands, wanting to be swallowed up in blackness and disappear.

Before long he could hear Mamà calling for him again. She let herself into his room with a faint knock.

“Brunito?” She shouted up the stairs. Bruno couldn’t find the voice to answer, curled up against the same wall as earlier today, this time with his knees hugged closely to his chest. His unruly hair fell down, obscuring his face entirely from view. He heard Mamà ascend the stairs, her footsteps eventually stopping by his left side.

A sigh passed her lips. He wanted to drown. “I suppose it went badly?” She questioned. It wasn’t clear if she was ambivalent, or disappointed. Bruno didn’t care. He knew he failed, he was the failure, the screw up. All he could do was hold his breath and count to ten, then repeat, then repeat, then repeat. Mamà didn’t say anything else, resolving to slide in beside him and hold him, running gentle, soothing fingers through his hair.


…


Time passed. He wasn’t sure how long it was until he was able to finally move and speak. He peered up from his curtain of hair to see the light of the setting sun showing through his window. Mamà was silent beside him. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking about, or why she stayed so long, but he was glad she was there for him at all. Bruno finally looked up fully, finding himself in the crook of his Mamà’s arm. She looked down at him.

“Good to see you again, Brunito.” She commented. She was looking at him with such genuine emotion, parting his hair to see his face better. He shrank under her stare.

“Help me Mamà.” He pleaded weakly, burying his face in her dress like he used to when he was much, much younger. He couldn’t stop tears from spilling out, completely involuntary. “All of my visions come out horrible. They make people so angry! I don’t know what to do! I don’t-” A sob cut him off. He wept and wept into her, distress taking over. His gentle Mamà rubbed his back as he heaved with broken sobs. When there was nothing left in him, she spoke up again.

“Brunito… It's… not your fault.” She said, soft spoken, but careful with her words. “Your gift gives people a window into the future, not what they want to hear.” She stroked through his hair again, lovingly. Bruno’s face twisted in despair.

“I don’t wanna do visions anymore.” Bruno said, looking up to her with watery eyes, still muffled against her dress. “I can’t do it, I can’t…”

Mamà looked at him with worry and sadness. She didn’t speak for a while, and then seemed to resolve herself. “Julieta is making dinner.” She explained, moving stray hairs away from his eyes. “Please eat and then get some rest, okay? And if you still feel the same in the morning…” She paused for a beat, but only a moment. “It's your choice.”

Bruno couldn’t believe his ears, unsure if he heard her right. “B-but, what about helping the townspeople, and…” Mamà signaled to him to stop before he could go on.

“You are more important, Brunito.” She took his hand delicately in hers. “You’re much older now. I trust you to make the right choice.” Mamà bent to place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Bruno felt like washing, hung up to dry in the breeze. Floaty, but hollow. He was unsure what to feel in the moment, and simply resigned to do as he was told. He followed his Mamà as she gently helped him up and guided him downstairs to the dinner table.

He counted his breaths the whole way.

Chapter Text

Dinner was a fleeting memory that night, he only weakly recalled the sensations of Julieta’s food. Chatter went on in a fog around him as he silently chewed. The food surprisingly gave him a good burst of… something, and he realized even though he felt good and healthy physically , Julieta just wasn’t capable of healing his mind, no matter how amazingly gifted she was… compared to him.

He couldn’t remember if he said anything, what exactly he ate, where he was now, or how he got where he was now, but he could see the moon through his window, as he lay on the stone floor of his bedroom. He couldn’t sap the energy necessary to get up, lower himself somewhere comfortable and warm, and sleep. He was simply too drained from the disaster of a day.

Even his rat friends noticed his inactivity. They ran all over him, in and out of his shirt, paced and played together over the entirety of his body, before losing their energy again and snuggling up to him to rest. One was snuggled into his ruana by his arm, one was curled on his chest, and one was on his stomach. Eventually, the moon rose past his window and into the void of the sky, and he could muster something in him to reach up and pet their soothingly soft fur.

As time passed, his eyelids grew heavier and heavier as he focused on the silence of casita falling around him. His own breaths could be heard as well as the rats in a slow but steady pace, calls from birds and chitters of other animals in the night.

Before he knew it, he finally fell into the haze of sleep.


…


Crack.

Crack.

Crack-crack.

He peered through the shadows in the hall of casita with what little light he had, and spotted the tiniest crack, spreading out before his eyes. It was maybe as thick as a fingernail scratch, but longer than his finger. It grew across the red colored wall before his eyes menacingly, in between the framed photos of his beloved family.

Crack-crack-crack.

More, on the ceiling, Just as small, but long and intimidating. The shadows seemed to pool into them, or even become them.

He could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears.

The scene changed, this time to the ever-burning candle, perched on the windowsill for all of the residents of casita to see. It burned brightly, but the flame faltered, seemingly in the breeze.

Crack-crack.

Under his own feet, another crack, spreading across the tile floor. It was much thicker and deeper than the others around him.

He could hear Mamá yelling, but it sounded so faint. Turning around, he tried to locate the sound’s direction, but the scene around him had vanished like a ghost. Blackness now surrounded him, and the faint yelling stayed drowning in the surrounding void.

Before he could register anything else, a scene snapped into existence at the blink of an eye. In front of him was a figure that made him feel like his entire body was covered in a cold sweat. He could see someone tall, lumbering down a dark corridor that seemed similar to a narrow alleyway, a green ruana concealing most of his features. His hair was long and shaggy, longer than his own. But…

He realized too late that the figure was him. Just, much, much older.

His heartbeat got quicker as he saw that the older version of himself knocked on the wooden boards and strange tubes as he passed. Bruno shook with the recognition of his mannerism, feeling frozen in place. Why was a copy of him here? Where was the casita? His sisters? His mother? He could never imagine leaving them behind, ever. What could have happened? Hundreds of possibilities flooded his mind until a new scene came to be before his eyes.

The sight haunted him, chilled him to his bones. His older self was peeking through a crack in the wall, maybe surrounded by 20-30 rats, all dotting his… room? It wasn’t like his room in casita, it was like the dusty hallway, but somewhat bigger. It was covered in dirty dishes and knick-knacks. A chair sat in the middle, and a table next to the wall with the crack.

Against his will, his perspective had merged with the older version of himself, before he could register what was happening. His head throbbed, he became confused and tormented as he watched through the older version’s eyes. The final thing he saw was the big dining table where they ate dinner, shining in the sun. His Mamà was the only one there, at her seat at the head of the table. He could only register the hurt look on her face, and see that she was much, much older.


…


Bruno thrashed suddenly, his entire body felt drenched in cold. He heard a squeal and tired-sounding cries from either side of his body, surprising him. His eyes sprang open.

It was dark, but his eyes eventually adjusted to the dim light. He was in a bed now, curiously. On his left, his hermana was just getting up, her wavy hair down and rubbing her eyes.

“Bruno?” She groaned, blinking at him tiredly. Looking on his other side, he saw his other sister, Pepa, looking at him with great concern.

“What is it?!” She squeaked, obviously tired too, but clearly shocked awake by his outburst. A chilly breeze drifted across the bed, a sign she was very scared for him.

“Lo siento, lo siento, losiento…” Bruno murmured to them, still in shock by both his dream, and his sudden change of location. Not knowing what to do and needing something to grasp onto, he launched into an embrace with Pepa. Confused, but understanding, she returned it. He heard Julieta utter a little “aww” before joining in, wrapping her arms around his back.

He felt safe sandwiched between them, and he soon was able to relax his heart and breathing with careful breaths. After a moment, the sisters seemed more awake and alert.

“What happened?” Julieta prompted, sounding confused.

She unintentionally reignited the memory of his awful dream. He shook his head fervently to try and get rid of it, before pulling away and looking at Pepa now, desperate. Julie fell away from his shoulders onto her back, then picked herself up to look at the both of them, puzzled.

“D-did you see my eyes?” was the only thing he could think of to say. Pepa looked confused and bewildered.

“Que?” She asked, looking at him like he had two heads.

“Were my eyes glowing?!” He snapped, out of exasperation. Pepa winced and he instantly felt guilt. “Sorry, I'm sorry…” He uttered quickly, groaning as he fell onto his back, against Julieta’s soft pillow that cradled his head while he had the dream. Despite how cozy it was, his head felt as if it was going to split open.

Pepa took a moment before she answered, clearly dazed. “It’s okay… but, I'm sorry. I didn’t see anything.” She explained, relaxing back into her pillow now as well.

Julieta spoke up, lying back against her own pillow. “Did you have a vision?” She prompted shyly, unsure if it was a sore subject still. Bruno hesitated, before continuing.

“I don’t know.” He muttered, defeatedly. He rubbed at his eyes with both his hands, hoping his intense headache would dull. “I don’t want it to be.”

Seeing he was struggling and in pain, Julieta quickly got up to grab a roll from one of the containers she kept for emergencies on the desk in the corner of her room. She handed it to Bruno and he took it appreciatively, relieved to feel the pounding headache slowly start to dissipate as he ate it. Julie changed the subject as she crawled back into bed. “Mamá said you weren’t feeling good. I came to give you some leftovers and saw you asleep on the floor …” She explained, her tone changing almost to disapproving mother at the end. Then she seemed to discard her feelings and went on, “Remember when we used to sleep over sometimes?” She looked down, wistful. “I miss it.”

Pepa punched him in the arm playfully, smirking. “Yeah, you’re lucky you weigh about as much as a small dog. Your little friends keep licking my toes.” She complained.

Bruno looked back at Pepa then, scared. “Did I hurt them? Scare them?” He began to look in his shirt and the bedsheets for them. Sure enough, they came running towards him from under the blanket near his feet, surrounding his face in a swarm of fur. He picked each one up individually and checked them all over, and they seemed fine.

“I think you frightened them when you woke up like that.” Pepa said, giving one a gentle scratch on the head with her finger. “But they’re resilient little things.”

Knowing they were safe and with his headache finally subsiding, Bruno began to relax again, a blanket of tiredness overcoming him as he lay against the soft bed. Julieta spied this and prompted him.

“Come on, get some proper PJs on before you fall asleep again.” She urged, gently. “You’ll feel better.”

Bruno glanced down, sheepish. “I uh… forget not to sleep in my clothes. A lot.” He confessed. Julieta gave him a disapproving look, along with a “tsk tsk tsk.”

“You’ve got her now.” Pepa teased. “She’s gonna be in your room eeevery night to make sure you have PJs on.”

Julieta frowned playfully at her, picking up her pillow and hitting Pepa with it. Pepa squealed in defiance, returning the gesture with her own pillow. The rats, scared of the commotion, darted back under the blanket.

Bruno laughed, for the first time in what felt like a very long while. “Okay, okay. For you Julie.” He resigned, getting up.

“Good. You stink!” Pepa joked, throwing her pillow directly at his head as he went to leave. “That's for waking me up.”


…


Bruno admitted he felt better in different clothes for now. The rats snuggled into his arms in a little pile under the blankets, content. Both Pepa and Julieta’s hair was wild from the pillow fight and splayed out around them. They both seemed fast asleep now, only the sound of light snoring escaping them. Once again, everyone in the world seemed to have gone to bed but him. The night seemed unnaturally still, he couldn’t even hear the birds calling in the treetops. The moon had risen past the point where he could see it from Julieta’s window, but the stars still twinkled in the distance along with stray clouds here and there. He enjoyed seeing them glitter across the sky, trying weakly and ultimately in vain to point out the constellations he’d learned about in school. The window, unfortunately, wasn’t wide enough to trace them.

As the thought of the dream threatened to crawl back into his mind and haunt him, he decided he had to check on a few things before he could even think about settling again. He knew if he tried to sleep now without seeing everything was right he would just lie awake worrying himself until morning daylight crept into the sky.

Disturbing his rats was the worst part. He'd rather they stayed where they were and slept, but they often insisted on following him, and now was no exception. As he tried to shift off into the night, the rats sprang up, perching on his shoulders, and one on his head, nestling into his hair as if to claim it. He knew he couldn’t get away without them.

"Okay, okay." he whispered quietly, careful to not disturb his hermanas. "You can come with me."

Gently he shuffled off the end of the bed, heading to the door. The rats made no noise as he tiptoed his way across the floor and over the soft rug. A few boards creaked as he moved and he flinched, but no one seemed to hear. Soon the door to Julieta’s room was shut behind him with rehearsed precision.

Once in the open moonlight again, he felt a weight lifted from his chest. The candle was there as it always was, overlooking their bedrooms. It was weird to be coming from Julieta's door and not his own, but the comfort the sight brought him couldn't be downplayed. He knew his soul longed for another prayer for tonight, hopefully ridding him of his rotten luck once and for all.

Before he could settle into his usual spot, a sight from the window shocked him. Casita urged him to run out of sight by raising its floorboards under his feet. He took the opportunity, quickly darting right to the little collection of houseplants decorating the inner corner of the balcony. Up in the window, he saw Mamá was approaching behind the candle, her dark shawl draping her shoulders.

Bruno crossed his fingers and held his breath that he wasn't spotted, but it didn't seem so. Just in case, he made sure to lay low. The rat still tangled in his hair squeaked softly as they climbed about, entertained. Gently, he shushed her.

Bruno then strained his ears, seeing if he could hear his Mamá. At first, she was silent, simply taking in the flame’s glow. Then she took something out of the collar of her dress and gazed at it in turn. Bruno only saw that it glittered in the glowing candlelight.

"I miss you every day… you should be here, under the same stars as us…"

It didn't take him long to understand who she was talking about. He felt a pang in his heart for his mother, grieving the father he never knew.

She continued, "I don't know why it had to be us… but I'll always…” She said a few words he unfortunately didn’t catch. “...For your protection." She finished. She broke eye contact with the item in her hand and closed her eyes. Bruno shook in fear when he saw the everlasting flame tremble before his.

"Help our hijo make the right choice." She finished, sounding hushed but desperate. Bruno felt a crushing feeling in his heart at that. Didn't she say she trusted him to choose right… What did the right choice look like to her? As she put the necklace back under her dress near her heart, she turned away into her bedroom once more. Bruno suddenly felt like deflated bread, relaxing back against the wall of the casita. His head swarmed like bees as he tried to rationalize what Mamá said while still coming up stuck. When he heard no further activity from her room he relaxed and was able to get up once again, knocking on the wooden railing exactly five times.

He sat in his usual spot in the middle, feet dangling over the balcony and leaning against the spokes of the railing. The rat on his head finally came down and poked their head out, perching on his shoulder and sniffing out the air, before turning to cover his chin with licks. The other two had run down the back of his shirt moments earlier and were chasing each other. Laughing softly at the kisses, he used a finger to gently scratch their head.

"No, I love you more." He teased breathily. The rat puffed up happily against the scritches.

He was thankful for the distraction, but even his friends couldn’t chase away his anxious thoughts for too long. He gently lowered the rat behind him to let her scurry off to play with the others. Returning, he stared at the candle intently, fearfully, for what felt like hours. It didn't falter, or flicker… could he have imagined it? Could it have been a vision? He brushed off the thought, there had been no emerald green tinting his view, it couldn’t have been one… right?

His dream echoed in his mind again. He recalled the sight of the flame being nearly blown out before his eyes. He could have sworn he saw those scenes in green. His heart jumped into his throat at the thought that the magic could be weakening, or even dying in his future. But how could their miracle fail? Because of him? Because he rejected his gift? Or just because he was a burden to his entire family…?

His ribs felt gouged with icy claws. Could he be the one that broke up the family? Utterly desperate for an answer, he looked at the light, the hope, the blessed miracle bestowed upon them… He clasped his hands, trembling.

"Please… mi familia… if I hurt them…" He could feel the fear gripping him as he shook from the weight of his expectations. Involuntary tears slipped down  from his eyes for the second time that night, as he rested his forehead against the spokes of the rail. "I don't want to…" he choked. "I'll never forgive myself. Please G-d, Papá, anyone… please help me be good. I just want to be good…" He couldn't muster up the strength to say any more, letting his hands fall as he relaxed again, feeling his anxiety quiet down, but not dissipate completely. There was no sign if he was on the right track. The night just seemed unnaturally, perfectly still, with light wisps of cloud, one of which was beginning to cover the moon. The stillness was unnerving, almost like an omen that something worse may happen, but there was no hint or sign for sure if there was a direction he could go.

He sighed, pushing his dizzying thoughts away out of frustration. Feeling utterly hollow from how drained he now was, he gathered his little friends together for the last time and returned to Julie's room to hopefully, once and for all, sleep off his restless nerves.

Chapter Text

The sound of a shoe clattered to the floor. Blinking against the early morning light, Bruno gazed up to see Julie fully dressed for the day, besides her shoes. “Lo siento!” she blurted, looking guilty. Pepa stirred at the noise as well, then groaned and fell back into her pillow.

Bruno stretched out as he sat up, feeling his back crack as he did. He winced from the shoots of pain, but thankfully they dissipated into a dull ache. “ Hey , I thought you said you’d take breaks from working so much…” Bruno groaned. The rats stirred awake at the same time and began to scurry in and out of the bedsheets to entertain themselves. He urged one away from the sleeping Pepa in case she got scratched.

Julie looked like she was trying to swallow down nerves and had to dart her gaze away from her brother. “I just want to do all I can for now, until the shop is open…” She excused, brushing it off.

Bruno wasn’t taking that for an answer, staring her down. “Julie, you said that before, but it's still not an excuse to run yourself ragged.” He patted the empty spot next to him, inviting her to sit. She hesitated, then compiled, tucking her skirt under her legs as she lowered herself onto the soft bed, sighing in defeat.

“Do you want me to talk to Mami?” He offered, surprised that that even came out of his mouth in the next second. Even if the idea of the encounter struck his nerves immensely, he knew he meant what he was saying. He resolved to keep his promise, even if it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Julie looked slightly afraid for him. “Y-you don’t have to… You shouldn’t, actually… - wait, Ay! I mean…” She fumbled with her words, then looked down at the bed, unsure of herself.

Bruno put a hand on her shoulder. “Come on, It’ll be fine!” He tried to reassure her, but she didn’t return his gaze. His hand fell. “...Do you trust me?” He muttered weakly.

Julieta looked back at him with a slightly hurt expression. “I do.” She put forward firmly, her conviction full of meaning. “I just worry that Mamá will take it out on you, or blame you…” She fidgeted with her skirt.

Her explanation sprouted some semblance of confidence in him, despite her worries. He really didn’t think it mattered what Mamá had to say about it, as long as he stood up for what was right. What was right was making sure that Julieta was taking it easier. He shrugged. “There’s no harm in trying. You deserve it.”

Julieta cracked a small smile and pushed his arm playfully, overly gentle unlike Pepa. “I get a day off tomorrow you dummy.”

Bruno rolled his eyes. “Schoolwork counts, come on!” Lighthearted frustration edged his tone. Julie giggled at him, and then went on, looking more cheerful.

“How about I promise to take a break this afternoon? I’m sure I could convince… someone… to cover for me?” He could see the gears turn in her head, and before he knew it he saw her snap her head up to look at him. Her eyes were coy.

Bruno’s heart jumped in surprise, realizing where her brain was going. “M-making dinner?” He squeaked, suddenly unsure of himself. He had some skill in making food, but he was nowhere near as good as Mamá or Pepa. “I-I could try, if.. Pepa is there…” He chuckled nervously, insecure about the situation. As a nervous habit, he rubbed his arm.

Julie laughed gently at his fumble. “I don’t think she has anything to do, but I'd ask Mamá.” She clarified. She seemed to be struck with a thought and then glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Ay! I gotta get started!” She quickly got up and rushed over to where her shoes were, Casita helping her to slip them on as fast as possible. Before she ran out, Bruno called after her.

“Don’t overdo it!” The door shut behind her and he was now just left with Pepa and the rats. She rolled over at his loud calling.

“Mmmm…” She grumbled, blinking through her hair. “I’m still so tired.” She hooked an arm under her pillow to curl it closer to her head.

Bruno picked up his rat friends when she said that, balancing them on his shoulders and one in his hand. “We’ll get out of your hair then.” He excused, slipping out of bed. Unfortunately for Bruno, even though tiredness always seemed to plague him, getting enough sleep always seemed impossible. Once fully awake, his mind was usually too active to relax enough to sleep again. As a result, he had a lot of doubt that he’d get one more wink. Pepa let out an appreciative groan as he left, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders.

Only once he was out in the light did he realize his error. People were already lining up to the kitchen in droves, and Bruno had to sneak against the wall as quietly as possible to avoid being seen with his friends. He hurried as quickly as he could to his room and shut the door, slumping against the back in relief when he successfully got in. The rats scurried off up the stairs as he hauled himself up once more to get dressed in proper attire, a new shirt with his ruana from last night and clean pants. He made sure to tuck his shirt in so his rats could be comfortable. His room had been left in chaos since last night as well, so he spent a few minutes stalling by tidying up the stray sand and the clothes he’d pulled out last night in his haze of tiredness. When everything was back in order once more, he heaved a determined, shaky sigh and reluctantly returned to the stairs.

Before he could start his journey down, a single rat started climbing his pantleg and making its way up his ruana. When they made it to his shoulder, he greeted them. “Well hey, what are you doing?” He questioned. The rat sniffed up his neck, jawline and then the collar of his shirt. He reached out to take them in his hand.

“You can come later, okay?” He explained, feeling a warm smile cross his face. He lowered them back to the stone floor, and they took off. Before he could start the descent once again, the little rat had turned back and climbed up his back once more. Bruno gave in.

“ Okay , but you have to stay hidden.” He insisted. The rat darted into his shirt before he could say more. He shook his head fondly.

Finally he was allowed to get to his door. He hesitated grabbing the knob, scared of what could be waiting on the other side. The sea of people Julieta usually dealt with were fine people, he just couldn’t handle requests for more of his gift, especially since Mamá hadn’t told them about his apprehension to continue giving out visions yet. Before his anxiety could make his circling thoughts worse, he felt the little rat nestle against him under his shirt. The soft fur reminded him of their presence, which oddly comforted him enough to take a breath and prepare to make his way past the crowd, unseen. He felt silly knocking on his own door, but he did it just for good luck before turning the handle.

Nobody called to him immediately, though he could hear them buzzing as usual below the balcony, leading in a line from the kitchen on the left and out the door. He supposed he’d worked himself up for no reason. He didn’t need to fear them… right? This could be easy. At the top of the staircase, he gulped and then made his way down, secretly knocking the rail every second step. No one seemed to notice him or bat an eye.

Feeling overwhelming relief as he reached the bottom, more confidence sprouted. It was like he’d successfully become invisible. He was about to turn towards the downstairs hall when…

“Hey, Bruno!”

Bruno felt a jolt of fear. He was sure he must have visibly jumped. He turned around and was shocked to see a sea of green. He spotted Sr. Gustav, one of the family's many frequent clients, was who the voice belonged to. He was a taller man with a thick mustache, and crows feet by his eyes that would wrinkle as he talked.

“S-si?” He heard himself ask. He started to sweat again.

“Have you seen Pepa?” The farmer asked, looking concerned. “Is she alright?” The questions disoriented Bruno for a moment before he shook his head to clear it.

“What do you mean?” He responded, lost.

All at once the green scene flew away like smoke on a gust of wind, and he was back in the present. Unfortunately, he was facing forward to the lineup of people, a good chunk of whom were staring at him, utterly bewildered. Panic gripped Bruno’s chest as he recognized that many people just saw him looking like a creepy weirdo with his freakish glowing eyes, staring at nothing in the distance. Not wanting to be there another moment, he darted down into the hall, feeling sick with embarrassment. Why did he have to get a vision right then? Didn’t his luck torture him enough? He pulled his hood up tight to conceal himself shamefully, wanting to hide away and not come back. His previous confidence shattered like glass. He could never truly escape these burdens. He would never be invisible to the people around him. Not at home, not in town, not at school. Nowhere seemed safe but their rooms. He could feel to his core that people wouldn’t ever see him as more than the village freak who made bad things happen.

He stopped in front of a wall near the back of casita that was rarely traversed through, and fell back-first against it, slumping in defeat. Inside his shirt he felt his rat friend shake their fur out before climbing up his chest. He quickly unfurled, realizing he forgot they were there. When he saw their little head poke out of the collar, he softened. The little rat gave a yawn.

“Lo siento,” He spoke regretfully as he pulled them out to check them over. “I forgot you were still there.”

The rat placed a little paw on his face and gave little kisses, almost seeming like they comprehended what he meant. The thought made him feel understood. They don't understand anything. Something in him taunted meanly. You’re just the crazy person talking to rats like they can understand you. He watched the rat sniff at him, their whiskers twitching, before squirming out of his hands to burrow under the hood and nestle into his neck. Then why do I feel like they do…?

The fluffy body against his skin really helped his nerves, but couldn’t truly ebb the overwhelming shame he felt. Out of nowhere, they dived back into his shirt as he heard a door at the end of the hall close. Mamá was shutting it behind her, and looked up when she saw him, surprised.

“Hola, Brunito.” She greeted, looking puzzled at his demeanor.

He awkwardly stood on shaky legs, flushing. “Hola Mamá.” He lowered his hood as he realized he forgot what he even wanted to talk to her about. He began to mutter and rack his brain, which Mamá saw and she prompted him.

“Did you… want to talk?” She asked, adjusting her shawl that draped her shoulders.

Bruno nodded, gripping his arm nervously.

Mamá seemed to recognize that he was having trouble, and opened the door to the room again, waving a hand to invite him in. “Come on in, then.”

He followed her, quickly taking in the room around him. It was a quaint little space where the family often would do quiet activities or study, and when they weren’t there Mamá used it as an office/sewing room. A lot of early memories were made here. Mamá kept a big writing desk against the wall with a schedule hand-drawn by Pepa and Julieta, and the surface had neat stacks of papers organized by importance. There was a cozy pink armchair in front of it rather than the hard chair it came with, as it was easier on Mamá's back. Opposite the desk was a small blue table with four matching wooden chairs. He could remember the days when his siblings were younger and they would make all sorts of crafts and play cards together there. On the other side of the room, there was a cozy rug and comfortable couch to rest on, along with another armchair. Whenever they had a sewing or knitting project, the couch and armchair was the go-to spot for it. The rising sun shone from a window, bathing the couch and rug in gorgeous golden light. All the walls were colored an orangey-red, and many family photos dotted them.

Mamá was the first to sit, settling into the armchair by the couch. Bruno followed, sitting at the end of the couch by her side. Mamá gave a sigh, and Bruno met her gaze.

“So,” she began, checking her pocket watch quickly before addressing him again. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I-” Bruno choked out, nerves clenching his throat. He coughed once, then went on. “Y-yeah, I…” he struggled to figure out why affirming her was his first instinct, he quickly backpedaled. “Well… no… I-i’ve been feeling like this… for a while.” He gripped his wrist again as he looked down and away from her, feeling like he was spilling his guts already. He felt crashes through him of overwhelming guilt that he may disappoint her. His voice lowered as he continued, shameful to be admitting this after so long. “I’m… not happy Mamá. My gift… my gift doesn’t make me happy.” He felt like throwing up, screwing his eyes shut so he didn’t have to see anything else. He wasn’t here. He wasn’t having this conversation.

Mamá was silent, the only sound he could hear was the ticking from her watch. He could feel the tension over them and he braced himself, his heart thudding loudly. After the moment passed, he heard her speak up once again.

“Our family’s gifts are wondrous blessings.” She began, her tone sharp. “I will not let that blessing go unrepaid.” Her voice edged, she was starting to sound cross, and became bolder as she went on. “Do you think that when I received the miracle, I was always happy? That I didn’t give my thanks? That I didn’t work myself to the bone to make sure you three and all the townspeople could live safely, in peace?”

Bruno couldn’t stop himself from curling up in sadness, hugging his legs as he felt waves and waves of guilt overcome him. He could feel his rat friend scuttle toward his back and rest there, confused. Mamá stopped a moment and he felt her gentle hand travel down his back. He held his breath in anticipation of her feeling the lump of fur resting near his belt.

“Hijo, I don’t want you to give up just because it's hard.” She spoke more gently now, though her voice wavered as if she was holding back her anger. “I know hardness. I know loneliness. But I also knew nothing could stop me from keeping the miracle burning. I just had to be dedicated, and try my hardest.” Another beat was in the air before she finished. “Do you think you can try? For the family?”

Bruno wanted to cry with frustration, unbelievably crestfallen. He knew the miracle was important. It was all he worried about, for heaven’s sake. A long period between them speaking fell as he steadied his breaths in preparation to respond. “I-i can’t try any harder, Mamá…” His voice shook weakly, echoed through his legs. “I try and I try and it still isn’t enough.”

“Brunito- '' Her voice was edged again, as if she felt that he was making excuses. He wasn’t having this, and interrupted her.

“I can’t!!!” he looked up at her desperately, revealing watery eyes. Her face showed surprise at his outburst, and her eyes were hurt. His heart twinged with pain, but he couldn’t stop now. “I-i just embarrassed myself out in the courtyard…” The recent unfavorable memory stung him as he recounted it out loud, pulling his hair nervously. “And the headaches, and the dreams, it's so much!” his face fell into his hands now as he wiped away the tears threatening to spill over. “I don’t know what else to do, I’m cursed. I’m a curse to this family.”

Mamá looked shocked at his words. He didn’t know what he could possibly do to make things worse.

“Bruno, I do not want to hear you talking like that.” Her hand hooked under his chin and directed his gaze toward her. Her eyes stared back at him with some sort of dark determination. “You are far from a curse. You are mi hijito, blessed by a sacred gift. Nothing could ever be wrong with you.” Her voice was stubborn, and scalding. “No wonder you’re running yourself ragged over one vision… Don’t you want to help others? Or are you ungrateful for your gift?”

Bruno wanted to disappear at those words, succumbing to anguished silence. He was more conflicted than he’d ever been in his life as she dropped his chin. He took the opportunity between their back and forth to stare off at the walls, and saw the portraits of him and his family. With a jolt, he recognized the sight from his dream. In the glowing light, a thin crack stretched between the photos on a vibrant red wall. Fear gripped his chest.

He heard Mamá stand, and looked back at her.

“I have to meet Sr. Pablo in a few minutes.” She explained, her tone distant and cold as she snapped her watch closed again. She was clearly not giving in, or letting him choose like she said she would. His heart sank.  “Are we done?” She prompted sharply.

Bruno had enough, impatience spilling over. “What happened to ‘you’re old enough now’? You said you trusted me to make the right choice.” His voice cracked with anguish halfway through the sentence, but he didn’t care, standing up in defiance. “Was that all a lie?!”

“That is enough !” She signaled for silence, and he found himself obediently following despite his anger, though he glared at her with pained eyes. “I thought you would be mature enough now to choose what is clearly where your destiny lies.” She breathed heavily with emotion, still cross with him. “But obviously I was mistaken.” She finished brutally.

Bruno couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How on earth could he believe there was any hope in the first place? He was trapped, he would never escape this. Even though he was bitter, he couldn’t fight any longer. Not with her. It was costing him too much. Defeated, he sat down again, trying to figure out how to breathe normally. His head swirled with his conflicting thoughts, unsure where to go from here at all. He was surprised when he felt Mamá sit on his left side and looked up at her. She put her arm around him and he didn’t protest, though he dropped his gaze from her as she spoke.

“Brunito…” She prompted him. He still didn’t raise his head. “Trust me, you’ll grow into your gift. I know you will.” She parted his hair to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead like yesterday. “I promise you, all hardship leads to something beautiful on the horizon.” She hesitated, then went on. “If nothing else, I believe in that.”

Bruno was silent for a good amount of time, but spoke again before Mamá could give up on him. “I’ll make you a deal.” He began, “I won't give up.” He resolved, starting to feel numb with sadness. “If we can all have a day off on Saturday.”

Mamá seemed to perk up with surprise, as if she hadn’t expected him to say that. Her tone was softer now. “Of course, mi hijo, I–” She was cut off before she could finish.

“Not just one day this week.” Bruno clarified, “Every Saturday. Every single one.” He affirmed, looking up at her now. “And Julieta gets the afternoon off today.” His voice was bolder, still holding on to some resentment. He was truly disappointed in her that she’d consistently hand waved his wishes, and that he had to bargain with her just to give his sister a break. What was the family coming to? He was so unsure.

Mamá looked puzzled at  his request, but eventually nodded. “If that is what you need… you can have it.” She affirmed. Her face showed a small smile that Bruno didn’t return. He was too exhausted. She eventually gave up and fell into hurt silence.

“Gracias, Mamá.” Was all he could utter further. After a beat, she checked her watch and excused herself, routinely letting him know if he needed anything more to check the schedule and come find her. Then, she left with the door shut behind her.

Bruno gazed up once more at the wall to his right that held all the family portraits. The glowing sunlight was dull now as the sun rose higher in the sky and became smothered in clouds. The wall looked more desaturated and washed out.

He could almost swear the gouge in the wall was deeper.

…

The door to the room shut behind him with a strong clack. Mamá was long gone by now. Tentatively, he headed out of the hall and threw his hood up too just for good measure. He hoped none of the people from earlier would notice him or comment, and even if they did, he wanted to ignore it and just hide away until breakfast. Crushing his Mamá’s spirit wasn’t exactly his favorite morning activity.

The rat that was still housed in his shirt shifted at the sounds of movement as he left the room, and crawled from his back to his shirt collar again, eventually perching on his shoulder and looking in all directions, seeming confused. Bruno reached out to pet them comfortingly, their fur was still quite puffy.

“Sorry you had to deal with that, conjito.” he muttered, feeling sorry for the thing. An argument was no place for a little creature with sensitive ears. “What drama, am I right?” he choked on that last part, the wounds in his mind were still fresh. He resolved to not think about it. “You should channel that for your character. You’re good at that, you disappear into roles.” He advised, managing a small smile as he realized how proud he was of his little friend’s charisma. Before long the rat was relaxed and nuzzling into his hand, then darted to curl around his neck, sniffing curiously at his hair. Somehow, they seemed to help him in even his worst crisis’. He was already feeling his chest get lighter.

He picked up his friend in one hand and led them into the collar of his shirt again, they obeyed, climbing down and nestling against him. “Just a few more minutes in there, let me get you to my room before anything else happens.” He promised, and the rat seemed content to do just that.

Tentatively he made his way to the doorway that led out to the courtyard. He was relieved to see that no one was paying attention to him as he peeked around the white wooden edge. Back to the wall, he crossed his fingers and held his breath before gathering the nerve to walk into the open space. He made a beeline for the stairs and nearly got there, before…

“Hey, Bruno!”

Bruno felt himself jolt once again, heart thudding. He turned and was greeted by the sight of Sr. Gustav. Instantly the earlier vision crossed his mind. He’d forgotten all about it!

“S-si?” He stuttered out, as he started to sweat again.

“Have you seen Pepa?” The farmer asked, looking concerned. “Is she alright?” Bruno couldn’t think straight in the moment, he had to shake his head to clear his thoughts before he went on.

“What do you mean?” He responded, lost. “What’s happening?”

“Well, uh, the farmers are loving the weather right now but… it could be sunnier?” He coughed then, seeming to think that may sound rude. “I-its fine, if she’s feeling under the weather… ay, I mean… no pun intended?” He chuckled a moment before he realized how serious Bruno was taking this. He changed his tune immediately. “Ah… Lo siento,” He rubbed the back of his neck with a hand apologetically. “I don’t know if it's just Encanto, or Pepa, but it's so cloudy and foggy out right now.” He explained quickly. “I know she sometimes feels foggy when she’s really embarrassed or sick, so…”

Bruno knew that Señor Gus and Pepa knew each other pretty well, but he had no idea she’d even told them about all of the emotions her powers were tied to. It would have left him in amazement if he wasn’t extremely anxious at the thought that Pepa could be sick.

“Muchas gracias Señor!” Bruno said quickly, grabbing his hand and shaking it fervently. “I-I didn’t know! I'll get Julieta at once!” He went to race off, but skidded to a halt and called back, “Can you fetch Mamá? She’s working with Sr. pablo!” He pleaded. Sr. Gustav nodded firmly, and he was gone through the front doorway within two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

Julieta was giving a man with a sprain a bread roll, before handing another to another man with a cut on his hand. Bruno squeezed through the crowd, ignoring the complaints of onlookers as he burst forth to his sister. She looked over to him and smiled, but it fell when she saw his expression.

“What is it?”