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Chapter Text

His hands shook.

Mr. Stark had dropped him off at his apartment but he hadn’t gone inside. He waited until the man was gone and then scaled the side of the building to get up high. Up high had cold air. Up high would help him clear his head. But the top of his apartment wasn’t high enough and taking a lungful of brisk air he flung out his web shooters that he had stolen away and kept on his hands after Mr. Stark forced him to give up the suit and swung across the city to higher and higher buildings until he settled on one that allowed him to look out over the city. 

He was cold to the bone and was probably threatening hypothermia with his inability to thermoregulate because of his spider DNA but he couldn’t care. The air around his chest was restricted and his body couldn’t stop shaking as his head spun. All he had tried to do was solve the problem. He only wanted to help. He only wanted to be a hero - he only wanted to catch this guy and turn him in. That’s all he wanted.

I wanted you to be better .

Peter let out a choked sob and the dam broke - one he hadn’t even realized he’d built up - tears spilling from his eyes like a waterfall. His body shook harder and his throat closed up. He vaguely registered that he was having a panic attack but he was too busy shaking and sobbing and wanting to curl into a ball and die or throw up or both. 

I wanted you to be better .

His phone was ringing and the car sirens below began to ring in his ears - neither sound helping him to calm down. He thrashed where he sat, crying out and stumbling off the side of the building and onto the roof, a wave of fresh tears scratching his face. He covered his ears and tried to stop shaking as he tried breathing in through his nose. It was all so much - all too much -

I wanted you to be better .

“How!” Peter screamed to an empty rooftop. “How!? How?! How can I be better?!” Peter laughed hysterically, pushing the tears on his face and screaming into his hands. “How can I be better than Iron Man!? Than you!? HOW!? ” He let out a wail and hit his head, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and sitting down. 

He pulled his knees up while keeping his hands in his hair and started sobbing again, big fat tears rolling down his face in a painful line. He let it all out - wailing and whimpering as his throat closed and choked sobs constricted his chest, the panic attack raging harder than before. 

His breathing wasn’t calming down - he was still breathing too fast, too hoarsely. It was choked and he let out cries when he couldn’t breath. His hands moved from his hair to his face, desperately trying to rub the wetness of his face as he wheezed hoarsely. 

He felt like a maniac. Crying and screaming and having a panic attack on a rooftop; his chin still splattered with blood from the ferry and saliva dribbled down his chin. His eyes had to look bloodshot and red and his entire body shook like it had nothing to lose.

It felt as though he left his body. He wasn’t in control and everything blurred for a moment. Everything drifted, his body felt numb, and he let go for a minute. Coming back was like hell but he laid himself down, staring into the dark sky of New York City. The sounds seemed muted and far away as he stared up. Dried tear lines stained his face and he was aware that the only thing he was in was a white t-shirt and Hello Kitty pajamas.

“I can’t.” he whispered to empty air, throat closing again. “I can’t .”

And he waited, letting the air flow around him as a dark feeling grew and coiled in the pit of his stomach. He can’t be better than Iron Man. He can’t . But - but he could still try to be him. He could still try to be a hero. And first things first, he had to get the Vulture guy.

Peter’s eyes hardened and his mouth formed a thin line. He pushed himself to his feet and his limbs shook from the emotional heaviness but he stood anyway and ran off the building, swinging towards the Tower. He’d get his suit back. He’d find the Vulture guy. He’d prove himself. He would. 

He would .

His hands were bloody.

Peter felt numb. His face was passive and unmoving. He felt as if he left his body again; his mind descended into darkness and his heart couldn’t keep up. He’d gotten his suit back. He’d found the Vulture guy. Part of him felt like he should care that he ended up being Liz’s dad but he didn’t. He didn’t care and when he saw him it felt like he’d been pulled out of his body.

He’d killed him.

Peter swallowed dryly, staring down at the beaten corpse of Vulture guy. His eyes were open, drooping slightly like he was about to fall asleep and blood dripped from the edge of his lips. There was a claw in his chest. Peter had grabbed the mechanical claws on the bottom of the suit and ripped it off. He had shoved it into Vulture guy’s chest and staggered back to watch him die.

Peter’s sides throbbed, his chest ached, and the side of his face pulsed from the gash he’d gained from the fight. He could still feel the blood dripping down the side of it and trailed a line from his jaw line, down his neck and towards his chest. He didn’t bother to rub any of it, just stared mindlessly at the body for a moment.

He’d gotten his suit back.

He’d found the Vulture guy.

He’d killed the Vulture guy.

He…he had killed him.

Peter looked down at his hands. They weren’t shaking. They were just bloody. He felt calm. Dangerously calm. Unnaturally calm. Far away he felt as if he should feel something. As if he should be screaming or crying in horror. He had killed someone.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because…because he couldn’t be better than Iron Man. He couldn’t be better than any other hero out there. He wasn’t a hero - he was a kid! He was kidding himself if he thought he could be a hero . He stepped back, releasing a breath.

Peter wandered away finally as police sirens began to wail. He left the bloody body and the burning plane and the dark waves of the beach behind. He left the pain and grief and some part of himself behind too. He stumbled off the beach and walked away, wandering through the dead of night in New York.

His phone rang.

He looked down.

His hands were bloody.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark growled, massaging his forehead. "Happy -"

"- total security lockdown is my suggestion - "

"Happy." Tony tried again.

" Everything's just batshit down there - "

"Happy -"

" - no one's responding to my calls -"

"Happy!" Tony slammed his fist on the table and the call went quiet. He breathed through his nose. "The plane. Is it alright?"

Happy snorted. " No. It's crashed boss. The police are here too - some sort of investigation has started - "

Tony threw his hands up. " Why ?! Dare I ask?"

Happy went quiet. " Well...there was...there was this body sir. "

Tony's blood ran cold. "Body?" he repeated.

" Yeah. This guy dressed in a Vulture suit. All bloody and - yeah... "

Tony stared at the wall in front of him. "Lock it down Hap. See if anything's been stolen and get that stuff on trucks. Direct them to the Compound and fix this."

" But -"

"Now." Tony snapped sternly and then cut the call before anything else could happen. He sat back in his chair, rubbing his face. A guy in a Vulture suit. That had to be the guy the kid had talked about. Part of him wanted to dig further into it; snoop on police records and figure shit out himself but the larger part was aware of the bigger problem at the moment.

The Accords were in the process of being amended and the Rogues had agreed to meet on neutral ground to discuss them. And he had to be there. Which meant facing Rogers. 

It was great that they even bothered to agree. It told Tony that they wanted to fix this and come home and make this better and fix them while understanding that the Accords had some credibility but…

He’d have to face Rogers .

Tony groaned, rubbing his face as his hands began to involuntarily shake. The sick feeling in his stomach was worse than normal. He wanted things to go back to the way they used to be but - but they couldn’t. Something had broken between all of them. It’d be almost impossible for things to be normal .

But he supposed he could try. 

Tony groaned a bit and stood as his phone started to go off again. It was probably Pepper letting him know that the plane was getting ready to leave. He sighed and ignored it, opting to text her as he was headed up to the deck anyways. It was going to be a long, lonely flight with nothing but his thoughts.

Everything had gone pretty smoothly to Tony's utter surprise.

No one made jabs at him, although Clint kept tossing him looks. They actually weren't very hostile though; just an angry mix of regret and bitterness. And everyone else was mostly scowling indifference. Natasha was the only one who actually warmed back up to him. She apologized first, he apologized as well, and the rest of the day they could make snide remarks about each other without getting offended.

The Accords were fixed - almost scrapped completely by the UN when they found out Ross's intentions and actions. Tony couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about Ross as well. He'd been blinded by so many varying reactions to his struggling mental health after Ultron. And New York. And Afghanistan. Honestly, he was a hot mess and he realized at that meeting that Ross had definitely taken advantage of that to get what he wanted.

But some semblance of it was salvaged and Ross was shipped off to prison. And when Rogers approved the new Accords - after Tony and Natasha had already signed it - the rest of the Avengers followed. And pretty soon after that they were all being shipped back off to the Compound.

Tony didn't make small talk and he barely spoke to them, giving them the briefest amount of information he wanted to share and showed them off to their rooms. No one else seemed to argue with that - no one else seemed to want to talk either - so pretty much everyone left. 

Except Steve.

Steve, who stopped him at the kitchen, gave him the most insane puppy dog eyes and stifled out, "I'm sorry."

Tony stared at him, a little wide-eyed. "I...okay. Yeah. Me too."

Steve shook his head. "No, no, Tony - I'm sorry. I meant what I - Everything I did - I should've just talked - but I didn't know what to say and then all of that happened and I didn't say anything about your parents - I didn't know it was Bucky but I knew it was Hydra and I should've told you but I didn't know how to -"

"Holy shit Steve," Tony blurted, waving his hands a bit frantically before settling them on Steve's shoulder. "I - It's okay man. It's cool." He plastered on a smile. "We're fine."

Steve stared at him for a moment before mumbling something and then sweeping him up in a tight hug. Involuntarily, Tony froze, eyes flashing to Siberia. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, trying to imagine something else but...Steve hadn't ever really hugged him before. This was new. Maybe dangerous.

But Tony relaxed into it anyways, leaning in and hugging back. "I...I'm sorry too."

Steve huffed. "I know."

Tony let out a slow breath.

Everything was going to be fine.

"How are you doing - YOU CAN STOP SAYING YOU'RE ON MY LEFT STEVE, I CAN SEE YOU!" 

Tony rolled his eyes, coughing a bit around his cereal. "I regret."

"Regret what?" Natasha jabbed her fork into his cereal and he stared in horror as she scooped Cheerios from the holes in the middle onto the prongs of her fork and slurped them into her mouth.

"I regret fixing the Accords." Tony shuddered, staring again at Natasha who raised her eyebrow. "You all are a nightmare and I didn't miss this."

Natasha busted out laughing.

"That's fair," Sam called from the couch. He jerked to the left when Clint screamed again and through a controller at Steve who expertly ducked it and continued to win Mario Kart.

"To be fair," Wanda put in. "We haven't had WiFi in ages."

Tony whirled to her in horror. "How the fuck did you survive?"

"Oh fuck you too, Tony," Clint rolled his eyes.

"That wasn't sarcasm Barton. I get offended at cassette tapes."

Clint snorted and hid his smile.

Tony took that as a win, smiling triumphantly. Clint still hadn't quite warmed up to him unlike everyone else who seemed to pretty easily forgive him and move right back from where they left off. He was working on it though and it seemed like they were coming back together as a team after the two months of the Accords being fixed.

His phone started vibrating and Natasha stabbed her fork on his head. "Jesus Tash," he swatted her hand away and she laughed, moving to the couch. Tony huffed but grabbed the phone. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed the number. He shot a glance at Steve before picking it up, "Stark here."

"Mr. Stark. We've called to let you know, he's better and awake."

Tony grimaced a bit but smiled. "Great. Spangles'll be happy." He twisted his lips. "Is he lucid enough to talk?"

"We believe so."

Tony hummed his affirmation. "Get him on a face call, I'll bring it up for Steve." He snapped the phone shut. "Fri - get the line on the tablet," he swiped the tablet he had next to him and walked over to Steve. "Get ready."

Steve frowned, bewildered. "For what?"

Tony just grinned and set the tablet down and allowed FRIDAY to do the rest. He stepped away to look at his phone again when the screen crackled and a croaky voice, "Stevie?"

Steve's eyes widened and the controller dropped. "Bucky?!"

"Hey punk."

Tony smiled again. His own feelings with Barnes were conflicted but he so did like to surprise Steve and make him smile. His smile wavered though when he realized just how many texts he had. 

They were all from the NYPD.

Frowning, Tony headed to the elevator and texted Pepper to let her know that he was going out and to clear his schedule. Natasha caught him as he stepped into the elevator, sending an inquisitive look and he waved her off.

He didn't have an answer to be honest.

"Mr. Stark." Captain Stacey did not look pleased to see him. He looked very irked to be honest. "We've been trying to get a hold of you for quite some time now."

Tony winced. "I'm aware. Haven't had the chance to look at that. Had a whole," he waved his hand. "Thing going on."

Captain Stacey squinted. "I see."

They stood in awkward silence before Tony coughed. "So, what is it you need me for?"

Captain Stacey huffed. "Right. Peter Parker has been missing for six weeks."

Tony's stomach dropped and his eyes widened. "I'm - Pardon me?"

"His aunt said that you have an internship with him." Captain Stacey sent him another shrewd look. "Have you seen Peter?"

Tony's mouth went dry. "No. Not since -" he stopped before he could say the ferry incident. "I mean, yeah uh...six - six weeks ago, we had a meeting and then I dropped him off at his aunt's."

Stacey's eyebrow furrowed. "Security cams line up with that. But shortly afterwards, Peter disappears."

Tony's head spun. "I...I haven't seen him since. What do you - Do you have anything? This isn't like the kid -"

"That's what his aunt said." Captain Stacey shook his head. "And we haven't got anything else. No offense sir, but you seem to be a dead end." He lifted his gaze to Tony's whose heart was thudding. "If you happen to learn anything, call us." 

Tony nodded numbly and slowly headed out of the station. Whatever he had expected, it wasn't that.

Chapter Text

“Am I boring you, Stark?”

Natasha elbowed Tony and he yelped for a second. He glared at her and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, who’s Tower is this?”

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Fury gave him a scrutinized look. “Pay attention. All of you are the idiots who went and fought each other.” The table winced. “I’m just trying to get public opinion back on your side.” He gave them all a look then before moving on to whatever he was talking about before. 

Everyone went back to listening but unfortunately for Tony’s own safety, his mind began to wander again.

Peter Parker was missing.

And for six weeks . Six weeks and three days now. Tony had left the station and had gone straight to May who had blamed him for a moment before she broke down crying. Tony let her shove him around and cuss him out because a) he was too dazed and confused to say anything back and b) it did feel like his fault.

He was the last person the kid was with. He should’ve stayed and waited for Peter or taken him to his apartment - the kid was in his care at the time. His responsibility in other words.

When May was done and started crying, she looked at him and sniffed, “Do you even care?” 

That startled him and he found himself rapidly assuring her that he did. And deep down, he found that that was true. He hadn't paid much attention to the kid after bringing him to Germany - mostly wanting Happy to keep an eye out and make sure he was safe - but he didn't want to get involved because he just wasn't built for kids. 

But now that Peter was missing - missing and probably in danger - something sparked inside of him and he wanted to find the kid. Wanted to figure out where he was and grab him and just put him in a safe room or something. He definitely didn't like this feeling and since he'd never really felt it before - not for a kid - he didn't know how to handle it. 

Unfortunately, he didn't have enough time to dig into it. Fury was quick to put them all to work on the latest terror happening in New York. A rogue vigilante who left their victims behind in a horrific mess of blood and body parts. Sure whoever this guy was, they were only killing some bad dudes and just injuring the people who committed smaller crimes like stealing but whoever this was, they were still hurting people.

And there wasn't any real rhyme or reason or the killings and the injured people that were dropped off at the station. It was random and psychotic and all over the place. On top of that, none of this was sanctioned by the police. So...the general public was concerned. Wary. On alert. And now it was down to the Avengers to catch this guy and get back in the public's good graces. 

And so began Tony's rapid online deep dive into gathering intel and looking at cameras and trying to piece together some line of continuity between this person. Eventually he employed the two spies of the group to help him, assuming that they would be able to figure this guy out.

"You can't connect anything?" Tony stared at Natasha in disbelief. He tried his hardest not to sound mocking because for once Natasha looked actually frustrated.

She growled lowly, glaring at the screen in front of her as she ignored his questions and continued to click through things.

Clint gave a surprised laugh from the side, his own eyes wide in disbelief as he looked at his own screen. "That's a no, Tony. This is...this guy is...He's -"

"Insane." Natasha punched out, clicking more furiously. "He's insane. There is nothing to connect other than these people are criminals. For a little bit the killings were only for those who also killed but now, he's starting to brutally murder those who commit petty theft as well. It's like his moral compass suddenly left him. And there's nothing consistent in the way he kills."

"You're saying 'he' a lot - are you sure it's a he?" Tony pointed out.

Natasha frowned. "Women don't kill this messily."

"Even if they've gone insane." Clint added, clicking through much more gently. He paused and his eyebrows furrowed. "To be fair though...this is pretty wild so it's possible it's not a man."

Natasha threw her hands up in a sudden shouted growl of anger. Tony startled. "He's right," she ground out. "At this point it could be a woman -"

She pushed her chair back and stomped out of the room, obviously annoyed.

Tony watched her, blinking before looking at Clint. "She's really upset about this."

Clint shrugged in agreement.

"Hey guys?"

Tony frowned at the call from Wanda, picking up on the wariness in her voice. He tossed a look over his shoulder and noticed that Steve was frowning too. "What's up Wanda?"

"I think I've got something."

It had been a few weeks now, working on this case that Fury had lined them up with. Sam, Wanda, Steve, and Natasha had been going out and scouting the crime scenes. Natasha was still stumped by whoever this was and Clint wasn't making much progress either. The two spies and Tony alternated between sitting behind a scene and scoping out the places the vigilante had killed. And so far nothing had come of it.

Now, Tony was sitting behind a screen and watching Wanda's, Natasha's, and Sam's suit cams with Clint sitting next to him and Steve standing behind them, watching them as well. Clint leaned in closer to Wanda's cam. "What is it?"

"I...I don't know but...oh my god -"

Tony frowned as Wanda's voice turned into a whimper. 

Clint stood up slightly, eyes growing. "Wanda? What's happening?"

"Wanda?" Natasha's stopped where she was, hopping into the comms. "Tony? What's happening?"

"Wanda's seeing something - I don't know -" Tony told her as Wanda spoke up again.

"Everything's is covered in blood," Wanda whispered, voice weak. Tony looked harder at her cam and retched a bit when he finally noticed that in the alleyway Wanda was in, there was blood - covering the bricks of the buildings next to her. It was mostly in streaks - like someone had shoved someone else around. "I think...I think whoever it is...is still..."

Wanda's cam froze and Tony suddenly got tense.

"Still...?" Clint repeated, frowning and then his eyes widened. "Still here," he gasped out, filling it in for her and shouted, "Wanda - get out of there!" just as Wanda screamed.

"Wanda!" Natasha and Sam chorused and soon all of the cameras were a flurry of motion. Steve didn't hesitate to bolt outside, activating the nanotech that Tony had given him and Tony jumped out of his chair too but then paused.

Clint waved him off. "Go help! You two can get there faster and someone should be behind the cams to help anyways - go Tony!" 

Tony ran. 

He leapt off the Tower without a second thought, his tech zeroing in on Steve running through the streets. Luckily it was at night so there was no crowds. Unluckily it was at night so it was hard to see.

But Tony managed and forced himself to go faster as JARVIS connected his suit to the others. Natasha was shouting something in Russian and shooting while Sam sounded like he was still circling and trying to get a light. Wanda was making noises like she was fighting.

"What's going on?" Steve shouted over the comm.

"Wanda's trying to bring this guy down - Natasha keeps shooting at him - and I can't find him!" Sam shouted back.

"Incoming!" Tony yelled and dived down into the street where Wanda was fighting. She twisted back to send him a look when the masked figure - a black spot as far as Tony could see without tech - shot something out and she went down, yelping in surprise. Natasha dived towards her as the figure leapt upwards - definitely enhanced - and shot down. Natasha just barely managed to roll them both out of the way as the figure punched down and cracked the concrete.

Tony landed, raising his thrusters and sending off burst after burst. The figured dodged and ducked before hopping up a street lamp and then onto another roof.

Tony raised his hand again and went to give another shot when the figure turned towards him and leaned outwards to hiss at him. And that's when Tony realized whoever this was, wasn't masked. And that's also when Tony realized that he knew this person.

"Peter?" he choked, eyes widening.

Peter reared back, crawling backwards on the roof. He glanced at Tony warily and then his eyes burned with a hatred that made Tony's skin crawl. The kid looked wretched. His hair was messed up and longer than Tony remembered. He had cuts and bruises all over him and his pupils were huge, the blacks of his eyes wider than what should be possible. His canines looked slightly longer too and the way he held himself was more spider-like than Tony remembered either. 

Tony's hands slackened as it settled in that he couldn't fight this kid and Peter used that to his advantage. He watched, feeling helpless and surprised as Peter lunged from the roof - right at Tony - hissing and spitting when Steve's shield suddenly knocked into him.

Peter was knocked to the side and he snarled, screeching before scrambling onto another building and fleeing towards the dark. Wanda had gotten to her feet at this point and tried to run after him but Sam had touched down and held her back. He turned to Tony, angry, "What the hell, Stark?! You had a perfect shot -!"

"How do you know him?" Natasha interrupted, stepping forward and looking at Tony. She didn't look accusatory - just curious and maybe a little suspicious.

"I..I -" Tony stuttered, white faced and feeling sick to his stomach.

Steve picked up his shield that had clattered to the ground next to a building. He brushed it off and watched Tony carefully before quietly saying. "Pack it up. We can talk about this at the Tower."

Defeated, Tony followed the other Avengers and feeling so incredibly sick that as soon as he got him, he fled to a bathroom and threw up.

Chapter Text

Tony leaned over the sink, feeling dizzy. The water poured quietly beside him as he watched it drift through the drain aimlessly. 

Peter Parker had gone missing weeks ago. And now he was this...feral...dark...vigilante who kills people. It had taken a moment for him to turn into a wreck of worry, wondering where the kid was and now it had only taken a moment for him to feel so defeated and confused in the way he was now. 

He didn't understand how any of this was happening. Sure this new Peter was killing bad people but he was killing people. Peter Parker doesn't kill. He knew that - he remembered that moment when he looked back at the Spider-Man's cameras where Peter had insisted on deactivating Instant Kill.

Which, frankly, why did he install that in the first place?

He didn't know but he didn't think about it for too long. Tony leaned back and washed his face, taking a deep breath. He had to face his team now and explain how he knew that kid and how they absolutely have to find a way to take Peter down without killing the kid like they had initially planned on.

God, they had planned on killing him...

Tony pushed the door open and headed downstairs sullenly, not wanting to face the music about this. The team had gathered around in the kitchen island. Natasha and Clint were sitting on the high chairs while Sam was in the kitchen leaning on the counter and talking with them as well.

Wanda was lying on the couch in the living room that sat across from the kitchen and Steve was there too, helping her with an ice back for her arms. They were all burned and scratched and Tony wondered for a second why that was.

"He scratched me and then lit some gasoline on the ground to try and stop me," Wanda said quietly and Tony startled for a second before remembering that she could read his thoughts.

Tony considered saying something but he couldn't think of anything and it was easier to just let Steve speak up. "Tony...who was that guy?"

Tony sighed and slumped over the kitchen counter to hold his head in his hands. "Peter Benjamin Parker, sixteen years old, student at Midtown, and who's been missing for over six weeks." Tony paused, letting that sink in.

"He's enhanced," Natasha noted tonelessly.

"He's Spider-Man," Tony replied quietly.

"Spider-Man?" Natasha's brow furrowed and then it dawned on her. "The spandex person from Germany?"

Tony nodded numbly.

"You - you brought a kid to Germany?" Clint looked aghast.

"Tony..." Steve started, disapprovingly.

Tony raised his hands slightly. "I didn't think we would fight. And it doesn't matter now - we need to..." Tony found himself choking suddenly and broke off. The room went quiet again and he took a deep breath. "This isn't Peter." he started slowly. "He's...he's not like this. He doesn't kill people - I don't -"

"So what happened?" Natasha put in as he took a breath. 

Tony gave her a dry look. "Do you think I would look like this if I knew what was happening?"

Natasha bristled slightly but nodded agreement. Clint sighed heavily and rubbed his face, "So what do we do?"

"We can't kill him," Tony whispered, staring at the counter. "We can't..."

"Tony..." Steve came up beside him, resting his hand on Tony's shoulder with a grim expression. "We won't try to."

"Try to," Sam repeated and then sighed heavily. "Hopefully not but...Tony? That kid? He didn't look...all there." 

Tony felt himself stiffen and a rush of anger flew through him, wanting to fight when Wanda's hands sparked and she hissed. The group at the counter turned to see her holding her hands warily, rubbing them gently. Clint walked over, giving her a concerned look.

"It just hurts," she murmured. 

Natasha sighed quietly but it brought attention to her nonetheless. "We need a new game plan." she started, turning to Steve and Tony. "How do we get this kid to calm down and stop what he's doing?"

"I can try to talk to him." Tony whispered, fiddling with his hands. He blinked, surprised to find tears in the corners of his eyes. "I owe it to his aunt to try and save him - he was my responsibility to begin with...I should...I should've been there for him..." Tony bemoaned, rubbing his face. 

Clint titled his head slightly and tried for some humor, "Careful, you're starting to sound like a dad Tony."

Tony took the joke and laughed weakly, rubbing his eyes. "I just don't understand how it got to this...how he turned into...into that - I mean - all those crime scenes...all that blood -"

"You don't understand!?" 

The team bolted upright, Natasha yanking a hand gun from under the table and pointing it upwards while everyone looked to the ceiling. Tony had leapt to his feet and briefly saw Wanda lurch in her seat and go to use her hands but nothing happened. She seemed to be incapacitated and winced, letting out a silent open-mouthed wince.

Tony took his eyes away from her and up towards the voice.

There, sitting on the ceiling, was Peter. Tony was able to get a better look at what Peter was wearing and it looked like it was the suit Tony had made for him. But the blues were messily spray-painted black, the neck was ripped, and he had thrown on a ripped and bloody hoodie instead of a mask. 

In the light, the bruises and scars were even more pronounced. His eyes were red and bloodshot and it seemed like they were in a permanent state of expanding with the blacks nearly covering the whites. He looked insane like he did last night but hurt too, staring at Tony with intensity that made Tony concerned but just a tad scared.

He crawled down, stepping hand over hand down from the ceiling and onto the wall, more spider-like than usual once again. "You don't understand." He repeated flatly. Natasha turned her gun in tandem with Peter's movements and his eyes darted to her, watching her carefully.

"Peter," Tony whispered, stepping back lightly and putting his hands up. "Kid...what's going on? Last I saw you, you saved a ferry full of people -"

Peter's eyes darted to him again and he let out a silent snarl, hopping from the wall and onto the fridge. "Saved?! Last I recall, you saved them and it was no thanks to me."

No thanks to you.

Tony felt his stomach churn and he internally recoiled. Peter spit those words with such venom that it physically hurt but he felt guilty too. Because he had said that. He had been so mad and disappointed and he ended up lashing out on the kid, angry that kid kept going behind his back and afraid that he'd lose him. He had put the kid down, demanded the suit back, and then dropped him off at his aunt's house.

In hindsight, probably not the best response but he was terrible with emotions and that had just been a bad moment on a bad day. Which is probably a big reason as to why he shouldn't've recruited Peter but too late now.

But what hurt the most in this, with a sinking feeling, was the thought that Peter was like this because of him.

"Peter," Tony started weakly, taking steps back and feeling vaguely like a prey animal while Peter kept his eyes trained on him. "This isn't you kid..."

"How would you know?" Peter snapped. "You never stuck around. You didn't pay attention. I was just the mess you had to clean up, wasn't I?"

Tony felt each word stab his heart and he swallowed harshly. "Peter...kid...please, tell me what happened...I promise I'll help just - please - stop killing - Spider-Man doesn't kill...I know that - I know that - from all the videos - all the news - you don't kill."

For a moment - a breath - it seemed as those Peter would listen. His stance relaxed slightly and his eyes - still dark and black - but had a less intensity to them. His head tilted a little and he looked at Tony intently, considering.

And then Natasha got trigger happy.

Tony hadn't noticed but Steve and Natasha had been quietly communicating. Natasha was on edge - this child's motives were sporadic and crazed - there was no telling what he could do or what he would do - and Steve was concerned for Tony's safety. He didn't like that Peter was a child but at the same time he had seen the crime scenes and the destruction this kid left behind. And he wasn't willing to let it happen to Tony.

Natasha's gun rang off and Tony screamed - terrified that it would hit the kid - but it only took a millisecond to remember that Peter was Spider-Man and in the same millisecond, Peter had jumped out of the way and webbed Natasha's hand. 

Wanda quickly went to help her but yelled when Peter shot towards her with a loud, shrill, shriek and scratched her hands before she could do anything. Sam launched over the island and attempted to kick Peter in the face but the younger caught his leg and there was a sickening crack. Sam screamed and fell easily - too easily. 

Steve lunged as well but he had taken too long to come to his senses and by then Peter was charging at Tony. Tony stumbled over his feet - unwilling to call the suit on Peter, but unable to get away fast enough. 

Peter makes a grab at his throat but Clint flung an arrow at the kid's head, allowing Tony to skid backwards. Peter grabbed the arrow from the air and snarled at Clint, going towards him for a second when Tony finally was able to say something.

"Peter!" He shouted, voice breaking and pleading. "Peter please - calm down -!"

"YOU DID THIS!" Peter screamed suddenly, turning on him - his eyes wide, a cracked insanity filling the space. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

"Peter -" Tony whispered, hands out and stumbling back as Peter stalked towards him, his voice cracking further as each word staked him to the heart. 

Peter's entire body shook with rage and he screamed, throwing a punch towards Tony's face. Tony just barely ducked it, falling backwards onto his ass. Peter loomed above him and for a sudden, brief, moment, Tony realized the kid was going to kill him.

Peter stared at him hard, angry and panting and he let out another swing, jumping up and throwing another swing at Tony's head - one he wouldn't be able to duck - when red swarmed his fist and held him back. Peter let out a wail and tried to push through but there was a breathless, strained, yell from Wanda behind him as she attempted to stop Peter from killing him.

Tony felt like he was already dying anyways, in utter disbelief and shock from what was happening. 

Peter finally gave up and swung around, aiming for Wanda but with a clang, hit metal instead. The entire room froze, staring in shock at the fist-sized dent in Steve's shield. Natasha had ripped off the webs and was helping Clint pull Sam out of the way but stopped and pulled out her gun towards Peter when that happened. 

Steve stared at his shield in shock for a moment before recovering and giving Peter a disapproving look. "Son...stand down."

Peter was a blazing flame of unstoppable raging anger. "Fuck off," he spat and pulled his fist out, jumping up and round-house kicking Steve in the face. Steve stumbled, caught off guard and Natasha shot again.

This time, she didn't miss and with a cry, Peter stumbled back and fell to his knees as the Russian aimed three perfect immobilizing shots in his calf, shoulder, and one that grazed his cheek. She tried for a fourth but Peter hissed and ducked that one before darting towards a window. 

"Natasha - stop it!" Tony screamed, his voice not sounding like his own as he watched the events happen in front of him like it was a dream.

Natasha didn't listen, following Peter as he crashed into the window and broke it open before swinging off into the night. She warily walked up to the window, still in defensive mode before turning back. 

Tony opened his mouth towards her but it was all just too much and he felt the world swim around him before everything went dark.

Chapter Text

Wanda's hands were bleeding.

She hissed and winced as Clint wrapped them tightly, working with Cho to keep them in good shape. After the fight in kitchen and living room, the Avengers had moved down to the med bay. Sam was getting treatment for his leg and Wanda's hands had started to bleed and shake. Peter had messed them up badly.

Tony had woke up on one of the med bays cots and had done so, feeling like shit. He listened to the sounds of his teammates being tended to as his mind wandered and turned numb. Peter was attacking them. Peter was killing people. Peter had tried to kill him.

YOU DID THIS TO ME.

"Tony," Rhodey's voice cracked with his braces as Pepper rushed forward to cup his face. "God, Tony...what happened?"

Tony didn't answer, leaning into Pepper's open palm. 

"We've...been following a vigilante," Steve spoke softly. "Someone who's been killing people. He showed up at the Tower and attacked us."

Rhodey looked at him, bewildered. "So...he - whoever this is - kicked your guys' asses?"

"Spider-Man," Tony whispered. "It's Spider-Man,"

Rhodey blinked. "The guy from Germany?"

"The kid?" Pepper breathed, eyes widening.

Tony closed his eyes again, letting out a shaky breath.

Natasha and Steve began to explain more and Pepper sounded heartbroken in response. Rhodey seemed overall confused but Tony didn't take in much. He was too busy searching as to what was happening.

YOU DID THIS TO ME.

It was no thanks to me.

Peter blamed him for something. For breaking him? For tossing him away? For turning him into a monster? Whatever it was, Peter had lost it. Had turned into an insane psychopath who killed.

And it was his fault.

Tony rubbed his eyes, slowly pulling himself off the bed and glancing at his friends before drifting to the door. He had to fix this - had to fix Peter - had to save him - before something bad happened. And frankly, at this point, he needed to do it alone.

The cool air of midnight New York brushed over Tony's face as he walked down the yellow-lit street. He'd snuck away from the Tower and flew out over to a street he knew Peter would show up to eventually. He didn't have any idea what he was going to say - all he knew was that he had to stop the kid before it led to something that Tony couldn't reverse.

He wandered around, eyes trained on continuing to look around as he didn't want to be caught off guard if Peter found him. The street felt empty and quiet, just the sounds of distant city noises and low humming of different machines and the quiet pitter patter of leftover rain hitting the ground. It wasn't raining - street lamps and gutters were just damp and drippy.

Tony slowed down when he noticed a shape move from the corner of his eye. He stopped fully after a second and waited in the middle of the street. He took a deep breath, working up the courage to face the fact that Peter was definitely here before he turned around and faced one of the buildings.

Of course it was Peter's old apartment complex that he was clinging to the side of. And the kid looked beat. It had only been a few hours since the fight and he was clinging to the side of the bricks and holding his side, eyes dark. Tony remembered then that Peter had been shot several times by Natasha.

"Peter..." Tony whispered, voice cracking again.

Peter didn't move, staring at him blankly.

"Peter..." Tony repeated, taking a step forward and the kid just watched him. "Peter...kid, please...let me help you..."

"Help me what?" Peter replied tonelessly, almost sounding bored. "What do you want Tony?"

Tony swallowed harshly. "I want you back," he admitted, a little helplessly and pleadingly.

Peter stilled but then removed his hand from his side and pressed his palm to the side of the wall, crawling down slowly with his head and eyes still trained on Tony's face. Neither of them talked and Tony held his ground as Peter limped closer. Well, limp-crawled-like-a-spider towards Tony before settling down in a crouched position with his hands in front of him a few feet from Tony. 

The kid tilted his head before his face fell into a scowl. "Why?"

Tony's heart stuttered. "W - why?"

Peter tilted his chin up angrily. "Why? Why do you want the old me back?"

Tony felt a stab of hurt confusion. Why would the kid think he wouldn't want the old him back? 

But then he remembered the lack of interaction, the fact that he didn't hang out with the kid - didn't train him - just checked in from afar and he realized that Peter didn't think he liked the old Peter.

Tony felt his heart break a little more and he cursed his old self as he lowered himself down to be eye level with Peter and took a deep breath. "Peter...I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there and I'm sorry that if - that how I acted led to...all of - all of this." Peter stared him down, harsh gaze softening just a tad.

His head dipped though and Peter rasped out, "I don't think I can come back Mr. Stark..."

Tony tried to think of something to say - something to do - when the kid's head lifted. He looked out of the corner of his eye for a second before his eyes trailed back to Tony, a betrayed look of hurt. Tony's heart sank again and he slowly stood, raising a hand in surrender. "Peter..."

Peter ignored him, jumping to his feet and whipping around to throw out a web. Tony nearly screamed in frustration when the Avengers appeared and Peter managed to get a hit on Natasha, the web hitting her hands and leaving her temporarily immobile from using a gun.

Tony caught sight of Steve running at Peter and throwing out a swing before Wanda's magic wrapped around him and dragged him back. Tony fought it for a second, yelling out, "What are you guys doing?!"

"Saving you, you idiot," Rhodey huffed, landing next to him and fussing as if he had gotten hurt. "You can't just run after -"

"It's Peter!" Tony shouted, wrenching away from him and glaring. "It's Peter - he won't hurt me! He won't kill me!"

"This morning said otherwise," Wanda snapped back. Tony went to snarl something at her when Steve let out a yell and the three of them looked back towards the fight.

Peter was fighting with a ferocity and a style that Tony had never seen before. The kid kept hopping around and throwing punch after punch and actually managed to make Steve stumble. He vaguely remembered when Peter mentioned that he didn't use all his strength.

He clearly was now.

The concrete cracked under his fingers and Steve's shield continued to bend in places until finally the Captain just shrugged it off and fought Peter fist to fist. Clearly Steve at first had just tried to use the shield and hold himself back. Steve didn't want to fight a kid. But Peter really forced his hand.

Tony used the brief moment of no one doing anything around him to dive towards the kid. "Peter!" he tried and as Steve ducked, Peter swung around towards him again. Tony ducked and his arm came up to defend himself. "Peter," he pleaded. "Please - I meant it -!"

Peter snarled wordlessly and tried to hit him again. Tony used the suit to catch his fist and he used the thrusters against Peter's powers as he screamed. Tony looked at Peter closely then, realizing the desperate look in Peter's eyes.

Something else was bugging the kid. It wasn't just Tony's abandonment - there was something else - something else he was missing that was going to get the kid killed -

Wanda used her magic to wrench Peter away and Tony fell backwards. Wanda almost raced after the kid but Natasha started shooting, hands free. Peter ducked and rolled and dodged as Natasha shot and Wanda tried using her powers to immobilize him. 

At some point, Peter dodged just enough that Natasha shot Wanda. Wanda went down with a yell and Natasha swore as she went to recover with Rhodey and Tony took that as his opening to try and reach Peter again but apparently the kid had the same idea.

Except he was going to kill Tony.

Peter's hands went directly for Tony's throat and he choked, falling down. "You can't!" Peter screamed. "You can't get me back - I tried! I can't! I just can't!"

Tony grabbed Peter's hands, silently pleading for him to let go. "Peter...please - please - I'll make it up to you I promise - just let me bring you back -!"

Peter shook, eyes filling with morbid tears as his grip loosened. "I can't," he sobbed. "I can't -" and he raised his fist - going in to hit Tony - when Tony heard his com crackle to life. 

"Clint - Clint - do it - do it now!"

"He's going to kill him!"

"Tony!"

Tony's eyes widened. Clint - that damn archer - was somewhere up high. Somewhere out of sight. Peter's hearing picked up on it and his fist froze as he stood up slightly, alert and looking around. Tony grabbed Peter's wrist, desperate.

“Steve - don’t you dare!” Tony screamed through the coms, knowing what the Captain meant. “Don't you -!”

Peter's eyes could draw blood as he twisted to face Tony again and flipped his wrist so that he was holding Tony's and crushing the Iron suit around him. Tony hissed and tried to wrench away, wishing he could just get through to this kid and stop this -

“Clint  - now -!”

“No! ”

Tony struggled with Peter while the younger kept crushing the Iron Man suit. He hissed, his hands burning. He heard Clint’s hesitating breath and then he heard a familiar whistling sound and Tony opened his mouth to scream, eyes widening but he couldn’t. Peter pulled back again to swing a punch at Tony's face and Tony wished it would happen - but Peter's senses failed him for once and Tony couldn't speak. 

Peter's fist froze and the arrow's whistling stopped - embedded in the younger's chest. Time slowed and Tony's mouth finally opened - finally screamed - and Peter's eyes widened. 

He staggered backwards and Tony scrambled to his knees, watching. He watched his kid fall apart, the desperation and bitter defeat turning to wide-eyed fear. Peter opened his mouth to his but he blubbered instead, blood spilling from his mouth and he fell, first to his knees before falling onto his back. 

Everything went numb; still and silent. "No," Tony rasped. "Peter - no -" He stumbled upwards, scrambling before falling down and having to crawl his way next to the kid. The younger was coughing blood, struggling to breathe. “Peter, Peter - no…no…no no no…”

Tony pulled Peter’s head into his lap, gently caressing the kid’s face. Peter tried to talk, gargling on blood as his shaky and also bloody hands touched and shook around the arrow wound in his chest. Tony found himself whispering, shushing the kid quietly and holding his hand as he started to shake too.

He heard footsteps behind him and he flinched slightly. He was starting to shake so badly and his ears were ringing so he barely heard Steve when the captain spoke up, "I'm sorry...Tony, I'm sorry I -" Steve's voice broke a little but no anger came from Tony.

He didn't care. His kid - his kid - was dying - in his arms. Nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. The other footsteps slowing behind him and the limping sounds from other teammates were dull and muted as Tony led a shaky, bloody palm through Peter's hair.

"It's okay," he whispered, choked slightly. "You're okay...you - you're - Natasha -!" Tony turned his head, choking as tears started to blur his vision. The redhead was helping Wanda stand by leaning on her. He tried to think of what to say, hoping that she knew - that Peter needed the med bay -

Natasha didn't do anything, just watching and Tony knew, he knew...none of them could save Peter now. Clint's arrows were killing. And maybe his teammates were right. They didn't have to say anything but Tony knew that they thought Peter shouldn't be helped and maybe he shouldn't. He's too far gone. If the old Peter did come back, he'd never be able to forgive him and the arrow wouldn't be physical in that case.

Tony turned back to Peter, crying softly but determined to make Peter as comfortable as possible - as loved as possible - before his life slipped away. "Peter - Peter...hey, look at me,"

"I'm - I'm -" Peter's eyes were wide and panicked, his breathing erratic as his loose hand that wasn't clenching Tony's looked for something else to grip. He looked so much like a lost kid, pleading with Tony in his last moment to help him make sense of everything that was happening.

"Hey," Tony pushed Peter's hair back, smiling as his lower lip trembled. "You're okay kid, it's going to be okay...promise..." Peter was crying, crystal tears falling down the sides of his face. Tony pushed his hand through Peter's sweaty and stringy curls again and stifled a sob. "God...you were going to be so much better than me..."

Peter's eyes widened again. "How?" he choked out, blood bubbling on the sides and he choked around the words. 

Tony stared at him, bewildered. 

Peter choked, “How…how can I…can I be better…than Iron Man?” Tony froze and for a second he was still bewildered - why was the kid asking him this? - when it hit him like a freight train. 

YOU DID THIS TO ME!

How?!

I tried! I can't! I just can’t!

And just as suddenly - it clicked.

The conversation after the ferry - I wanted you to be better - the fights since. The anger - the hurt - the questioning of whether Tony really wanted him. Tony’s fingers trembled, as they tangled in Peter's hair and stilled. He tried to think of what to say - if anything could make up for the hurt that's happened - but Peter's breath was stolen. He stopped breathing, his mouth didn't bubble, and his eyes dimmed. The light - the flame - the look in his eyes - the life in his body - gone. Seeped away and pulled into inky blackness.

Peter stared into the sky.

Tony didn't move, eyes wide and only a few shocked tears slipped through for a brief moment - confused as to how this was actually happening. And then the outpour started and he cried and cried, pulling Peter closer into his lap and hugging the kid's limp body.

He could barely hear it but while dull, Steve's voice was there. "I'm sorry...Tony, I'm sorry..."

It was a small headstone for such a big person. 

Tony stared at it blankly. Everyone had left by now and it was just him. May was devastated. They left out details - Tony was insistent that Peter's aunt didn't know that in his final weeks he had turned into a raging lunatic. And maybe a part of him didn't want Peter's aunt blaming him more than he already blamed himself.

The Avengers were there too and Pepper promised May anything she needed. May denied all the help they offered and went back to her life as far as Tony knew. He also knew though that he, Pepper, Rhodey, and the rest of the Avengers would keep an eye out for her if she ever needed anything.

The Avengers were sorry - Steve was the most remorseful outwardly but Tony had a feeling it hit Clint even harder. Clint had delivered the killing blow to a kid and Tony was certain it had messed with him - especially because of the fact that Clint retreated to his country home almost immediately after the battle. Wanda escaped New York with him.

Natasha and Steve were bringing everyone back to it; Barnes had been released a day ago and was adjusting to Tower Life now. Sam was still recovering and there were signs of a bigger fight coming.

Not that it mattered to Tony right now. He was still numb even a week after the fight. He really didn't want to fight anymore. Not with Peter gone. Not with him leaving like he did.

How can I be better than Iron Man? Than you?

Because I'm not a hero kid, Tony thought bitterly. He went over it again and again, a thousand different times, wondering if he could have done anything different. It was killing him - Pepper even said so - but he just wished that something different had happened. Something else - anything else - for Peter to be saved.

Tony's flowers dropped on his side and he took a step forward to kneel in front of the headstone. He took a shaky breath and pressed his forehead to the cold stone. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry...so sorry, kid..." he kneeled there for a moment, praying briefly for the kid to come back - like he has for the last week - but nothing happened.

Eventually Tony had to force himself to his feet and get back to the Tower. He didn't move for a moment, letting himself silently cry for a little longer before dropping the flowers and turning, heading back to the Tower. 

His hands shook.