Archive of Our Own ^beta

There are some nights when sleep just doesn’t come. Those nights are spent laying in bed too small, tossing and turning, thinking about how everything fits and doesn’t fit in this universe. How the world is so small, like an atom and yet so big, like the solar system that stretches all across the night sky. 

It might be something insignificant that triggers the mind, like the chapstick left behind under the pillow, the one that tasted like a slice of mum’s best cherry pie and left lips feeling luscious. The memories rush in and it feels like flames burn behind the eyes. Much like the sting of the sterilizing alcohol that covers the wounds time and time again. 

“Catch you on the flip side.” The goodbye was the usual quip, something that was comfortable to say instead of conveying love and emotions. But had it been known that this could’ve been the last time, the final moment eyes connected behind the dark glasses, the words might’ve been different. 

The world is monochrome now, only black and white, without even the tiny hints of grey. It was there, in the middle of those opposing colors that people come alive as a side had to be chosen. King or prisoner, rich or poor, together or separate, run or stay.  

The monotone beep disrupts the train of thought and there is a small light in the darkness. He turns on the bed and watches the monitor that tells him that you are alive. Breathing is a bit easier now, the brain finally slowing down. You saved him once, twice, three times and now Toby can save you, if only by watching over you as you recover.