Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Just like the one winged dove 

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Who who who

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

It’s the year of our Lord, 1995, and seventeen year old Dean Winchester isn’t having a good day, a good life. So what’s new? He’s only experienced four fleeting years of happiness for a person so young. The rest of his life has been a crap fest since the tender age of four. That’s the year his mother died in a house fire. Things have never been the same since. His father, John, turned into a husk of a man bent on revenge as he hunted down the yellow-eyed demon that struck her dead. He decides to uproot his little family, his two sons. Some might say that John Winchester was only doing what was needed in order to extract justice. Others said he was a selfish man who only thought about himself and not the two young sons he sired. Some say the boys would have been better off being given to someone who could take good care of them, nurture them. But, if wishes were horses, all beggars would ride. It is what it is. Too late to cry over the split milk in the Winchester family tree. John decided to haul his sons all over creation as he searched high and low for the demon. Always falling one step behind. In the meantime, he left his eldest son Dean to raise his younger son, Sammy. Dean became father, mother, brother, and confidant to his little charge. Some say John Winchester never realized he did this or simply didn’t care. It wasn’t fair to Dean or Sammy. They certainly didn’t deserve it, but since when does anyone get what they deserve? 

So, young Dean Winchester takes care of his little brother, Sammy. John’s made sure to pound this one order into his eldest child’s head. He doesn’t need to be told what to do. By now, it’s automatic, like breathing. Dean changed dirty diapers. He made and warmed up countless bottles of baby formula. He bathed and clothed Sammy everyday. He washed everyone’s clothes. He cooked all the family meals. He cleaned up after his father and Sammy. He played nurse whenever he’s father needed stitches or whenever Sammy was sick with whatever childhood disease was going around. He did this and so much more because his father had more important things to do like drowning himself at the bottom of a bottle every night. He did all this while still having the appearance of being a normal child. He went to school each day even though he was exhausted. It’s no great wonder why his teachers called him slow, unmotivated. You’d be slow and unmotivated too if you were in his shoes. But, he didn’t complain. He’d play second fiddle so that Sammy could be the shining star. He’d show up on every report card day, every play or sports event that young Sammy was in. Teachers thought it strange. They’d talk behind the boy’s backs. By the time anyone questioned why a sibling would be more involved in Sammy’s progress than a parent, the Winchesters would already be in another state. Sammy excelled more and more each year as Dean declined. Dean eventually drops out of school. School’s an exhaustive experiment in futility. 

The family dynamics aren’t the greatest in this family either. John Winchester is an ex military man, an ex-Marine. He raises his sons like they’re in military school. They’re up by the crack of dawn and have curfews. John Winchester’s word is law. There’s no desertion in the ranks. John doesn’t allow for disagreements that lead to discord. The boys know the rules. There are harsh consequences for any and each infraction. It works great at the beginning when the boys are younger. It provided structure. But, it doesn’t work too well in the teenage years when you’re trying to figure out who you really are. It snuffs out any form of individuality when you’re forced to conform into what it is your father wants. John Winchester wants to create the perfect super soldier. So, he works his magic on his eldest, he experiments. He creates a son who obeys his every order and never questions. Dean becomes the ultimate hunter, the ultimate killer. John may be pleased with the outcome, but Dean would never know it. John Winchester doesn’t give praise or compliments. The soldier is just doing his job. There’s no need to tell him how great a job he’s done. John’s content with allowing his younger son to be the scholar of the family. Sammy learns how to do research and do it well. Little do they know that this combination will pay off in the long run. One day in the future, the Winchester brothers will become the ultimate killer machine, the brains and the brawn. Eventually, both boys will become interchangeable. Sam will investigate while Dean executes the monsters that need killing. If need be though, Dean can investigates while Sammy doles out death. They will become a lethal killing machine. Monsters won’t stand a chance. 

But, for now, they have to live in the present. They have to deal with the hurricane that is John Winchester. You could be basking in the eye of the hurricane on any given day or be throttled in the chaos of his outer bands. John is mean when he’s sober. But, he’s cruel when he’s drunk. John’s hardly ever around since he’s hunting the yellow-eyed demon. This can be a blessing or  a curse depending on how one looks at it. Some people would have pity on the boys, say it was too bad that their father wasn’t around to raise them. Dean would scoff at that. He’s the one who raised Sammy. The boys can actually breathe a sigh of relief whenever John is away. It saved them from the storm that was their father. Due to the hurricane that was their father, Dean eventually becomes Sammy’s human shield. Dean’s the person who provides protection so that Sam won’t experience his father’s wrath. And, so the family dynamics were set in stone. John become the ultimate dictator, Dean becomes the faithful soldier and whipping boy, and Sam becomes the favored child. Dean accepts it because he loves his younger brother so much. It’s not the greatest, but it’s all they have. 

The childhood years are rough. It’s not easy living in sordid pay-by-hour skeevy motels, squatting in old abandoned houses, or living out of the family car, a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. It’s not easy when you hardly have enough to eat. It’s not easy when your clothes are from the bargain bin of your nearest thrift store. It’s not easy when you’re sick and there’s no medical insurance. It’s not easy when you’re dragged from state to state, city to city. It’s not easy when you settle in school only to be yanked out the next month. No, their childhood isn’t easy by any means. But, Dean tries his best to make it work out in Sammy’s favor. He’s the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back or give you the last slice of pizza even though that leaves nothing for him. He’d give it to you because you needed it more than him. He makes himself not want. He does without. He’d do anything for Sammy. He’s begged, borrowed, and stole. He’s the first one to admit it. And, yes it makes him ashamed of the things he’s done, how far he’s willing to go., how low he’s sunk. So he learns to bury it deep inside. He sends the pain below so he can survive. Sometimes it’s like he’s suffocating. When he’s like this, Sam becomes his lifeline. 

The teenage years are by far the worst. The teen years are supposed to be the time you try to find yourself, find where you belong in life. That’s hard to do when your life is dictated by your father. You will do this. You won’t do that. You will conform. You won’t call attention to yourself. You won’t participate in anything that will be interfere with John’s hunting. The teenage years are also the time you’re becoming who you want to be. You experiment, try new things. But, their father doesn’t want that. John wants only one thing, for his two sons to become hunters and nothing else. So, any and all individualism is squashed, nipped in the bud. It’s stifling. Dean finds an outlet through music while Sammy finds one through reading. The list of things they’re not supposed to do is long. Dean sighs and takes it all with a grain of salt, but he can see what it’s doing to Sammy. This kind of lifestyle won’t be good enough for Sam. Dean lives it because it’s all he knows, but Sammy has higher goals in mind. He wants to become a lawyer. He wants the ‘apple pie’ life with the house, the wife, the 2.5 kids, and the family dog. Dean can’t provide nor promise that. So he worries and waits for the other shoe to fall. He knows his Sammy will leave him one day. Hunters don’t have long lifespans. If Sam leaves him maybe he’ll die soon after that because to tell you the truth, he doesn’t feel much like living if Sammy’s not there anymore. If Sammy left, he couldn’t stand to live with John and who in their right mind would want him anyway. There’s times he thinks he’d be better off dead. 

***

Chapter Text

Today is just like every other day in Dean’s life. It’s full of crap. This morning had started out badly. John was back from an unsuccessful hunt. He was moody and sullen. He had stayed up drinking all night. He woke up with a wicked hangover. Thirteen Sammy got dressed as fast as he could. He wanted out of there as he headed off to school earlier than usual. Dean got outta there as fast as he could as well, but not before John had ripped him a new one for spending too much money on two large pizzas while he was out hunting. What John failed to realize was that last Tuesday, May 2 was Sammy’s birthday. And, Dean had splurged on a veggie-lover’s pizza for Sammy and a meat-lover’s pizza for himself. Dean decided not to waste his breath arguing with John as he left for work. John was still yelling at him as he kept on walking letting the motel door slam behind him. He got his car keys out and took the Impala. A hungover John had no use driving right now. He heads off to begin his long day working as a mechanic in a nearby auto repair shop. The hours are long and the work is hard, but it’s honest money. He’d learned how to fix cars from his uncle Bobby since he was knee high all those times John would drop them off at Bobby’s. Uncle Bobby owned a salvage yard in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It was modestly profitable. No one would say that Robert Singer was a wealthy man, but he got by. He was a widower that had lost a son as well. He would dote on the boys as if they were his own. Dean thinks he and Sammy would have flourished if they had been given the choice to stay with their uncle. But, it wasn’t in the cards. John Winchester prefers to keep his friends close, his enemies closer, and his children underfoot. 

Dean arrives at work three minutes late. His boss, Cole Trenton’s gonna pitch a fit. Dean tries to circumvent him as he goes to punch his card in the time clock. Luck isn’t on his side. Actually, if it wasn’t for bad luck, your average Winchester would have no luck at all. 

“Winchester, you’re late! Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know. I’ll work into my lunchtime.” Trenton comes over to him. “Next time, it comes out of your pay.” 

He throws a shop rag at him. Dean grunts and throws it on the floor. The rest of the morning he’s doing oil changes, fixing and rotating tires, fixing spark plugs… By lunchtime, he’s covered in oil stains and sweat. He skips lunch. He’d already skipped breakfast. What’s one more meal—-saves money that way anyways. And, Dean’s always trying to save more money. Actually, he’d have more money if John would keep from stealing his money in the first place. Dean tries to hide the money from his paycheck, but John always seems to know where it is. It pisses Dean to high heaven that his hard earned money is spent on booze and ammo rather than the things they really need. But, he can’t worry about that now. Right now he works. Trenton’s getting more work out of Dean than the three minutes he was late. In the afternoon, Trenton has him restoring classic cars. He loves this part of his job. He’s been working on John’s Impala ever since he can remember, knows everything inch of her, his Baby.

After work, he heads off to his old high school to attend GED class. He dropped out at sixteen to be able to work full time, provide for Sammy. Now, he realizes how important it is to show he knows at least something. The GED test is 7 hours long. He’s not looking forward to it, but it’s a necessity. When he arrives, he’s already tired and hungry. He grits his teeth and attends it anyway. Maybe he can get something to eat after class. He’s supposed to hook up with his girlfriend, Meg tonight. If John Winchester is a hurricane, then his girlfriend, Meg Masters is a tornado. She’s a petite dark haired spitfire with light brown eyes. She gives as good as she gets. He totally had her after giving her one of his infamous pickup lines —-“Demolition woman, can I be your man?” He knew how much she was totally into Def Leppard’s Joe Elliot. It worked. Dean and Meg compliment each other with their voracious appetite for carnal pleasures. They seem to have a lot in common. They both come from the wrong side of the tracks and they both have dysfunctional families. They say misery loves company. Who are Dean and Meg to argue with that. They usually get together after work and tonight Dean’s looking forward to that. He could surely use some loving attention. 

After class, he heads down to the edge of town where Meg lives with her uncle Fergus Macleod. He’s an unscrupulous dark-haired man with equally dark eyes. He used to be a reputable tailor, but now he’s a mob boss of sorts. Dean’s done some questionable work for him in the past. He’s not proud of it, but it’s paid the motel bills more than once. Dean’s got the radio jacked up, AC/DC playing ‘The Highway to Hell’ loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear as he rolls around the corner of 666 Crowley Lane. Dean finds Meg’s demonic address more than a coincidence. He shrugs it off. He’s ready for a nice juicy hamburger, pie, and some good loving. As he rounds the corner, he spots Meg on the porch of the ramshackle house. She’s dressed rather risqué tonight in a short black skirt and purple low-cut top. A tight black leather jacket, with four inch heels completes the look. But, then again, she always dresses like that. You have to give her credit. She’s a sight for sore eyes. Dean’s eyesight goes beyond her to the guy standing behind the post of the porch. Is that Cole Trenton? Are they sucking face? By the looks of it, his girlfriend is getting it on with his boss. What the fuck??? He parks the Impala in front of her house, gets out of the car, and slams the car door so hard you’d think the glass would break. He walks purposefully to confront her.

 “Meg, what the fuck? Are you seeing this guy? Like seriously?” 

Meg’s caught off guard. She puts out her cigarette and flicks it.

 “Dean, I wasn’t expecting you so early. This guy’s just a friend.” She chirps. 

Dean can see Cole smirking. Asshole. 

“Cole, you seeing my girl?” Dean asks, his emerald green eyes turn bottle green with fury. 

“Yeah. From the looks of it, maybe I am.” Cole spits on the ground. 

Meg looks like she wants the ground to split open and swallow her whole. Dean’s ready to slug it out. Meg pulls him aside.

 “Dean, we gotta talk.” Dean inhales sharply and says ok. 

“Cole, give me a sec. I have to talk with Dean.” She says as she pulls Dean’s arm towards the Impala. Cole sits on the rickety porch swing while Meg and Dean go talk in the car. 

Dean opens the passenger door for her and she sits down. He goes around to the drivers seat , opens the door and gets in. 

“What the hell, Meg? What are you doing with Cole. You know he’s my boss. The guy’s an asshat. Haven’t I been good to you?” 

By now, Dean’s lower lip is trembling. Meg looks down, wringing her hands. 

“Yeah, Dean, you been good to me…real good.” She sighs. “I don’t know what to tell you, Dean. We met a couple of weeks ago and things just clicked.” 

Dean sees red. “You mean to tell me you’ve been going around with this clown for the last two weeks and like I’m the last dude to find out? Geez, woman!” Dean wants to really hit something, maybe kill something. He slams his hands on the steering wheel. Meg jumps. There’s an awkward moment of silence.

 “Why?” Is all Dean can think of asking. 

Meg looks out the window towards Cole. “Because you’re gonna go and he’s gonna stay.” Is all she has to say. 

Dean’s taken aback by her reply. Deep down inside, he knows what she means. He’s heard this speech one too many times. It’s the speech he often gets right before John Winchester yanks them out of school or whatever motel they’re staying at. It’s the speech that says ‘It’s not you. It’s me.’ It’s the speech that says it’s over. Deep down, Dean can’t say he really blames her. She wants a stable guy with a stable life, a stable paycheck. Stuff he can’t promise or provide. 

“For what it’s worth, you’ve rocked my world and I’ll always love you, Dean, but sometimes it’s just not enough.” She gently kisses his cheek, opens the car door and leaves. 

***

Chapter Text

He sits alone in the Impala staring straight forward towards the street as Meg and Cole walk hand in hand inside the house. He doesn’t want to see that. He wipes the lone tear that’s slowly trickling down his cheek. He turns on the car and revs the engine on. It’s time to get shit-face drunk. John Winchester 2.0, here I come. Dean finds the nearest dive bar and takes out one of his fake ID’s. He’s gonna go drown his sorrows in a bottle of Jack tonight. He parks the Impala in the back lot of the bar’s parking lot. He doesn’t want anybody to scratch the car. He doesn’t think about the consequences for his actions. All he wants is to forget that Meg Masters ever existed. Fuck that bitch! Dean will find someone else, maybe even tonight. He enters the bar. They card him of course. He pulls out one of his many fake ID’s. Tonight, he’s twenty-one year old Eric Brady. The bouncer looks at him with a weird look but eventually let’s him in. He saunters up to the bar and orders a whiskey neat. He drinks the first one nice and slow, let’s the whiskey’s warmth go down his throat. The nice familiar, mellow comfort coats his insides as the first sign of a buzz starts. He’d usually play rounds of pool, maybe hustle some college suckers out of their parent’s money, but tonight’s all about getting buzzed. He wants to, needs to forget about Meg. She’s not worth his time and aggravation. From the looks of it, he may never find a woman he can be with. Certainly not if his father keeps dragging them all over God’s green earth. How’s Sammy ever gonna find a girl if even his big brother can’t get one to stay more than a month or two? Dean orders another shot. An hour passes and he’s already had four shots of the golden amber fluid. The music is playing loudly in the background. It’s George Thorogood and the Destroyer’s ‘One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.’ Yes, it’s Dean Winchester’s kind of music. After that song, he goes over to the juke box, puts his coons in, and plays ‘I Drink Alone’ because why not? He orders another shot. 

By the next hour, the memory of Meg is slowly fading away along with all his inhibitions. He notices a very handsome dude who keeps staring at him from across the room. Now, this isn’t new to him. He knows he’s a rather good looking kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy that woman swoon to, but so do guys. John had warned him long ago that the combination of his rugged looks and some of his more beautiful features made him stand out from the rest. He has a well defined chiseled chin. He has his mother’s beautiful green eyes and her dirty blonde hair. And, to top it off, he has light brown freckles sprinkled all over his body like his mother. Sammy has none of these characteristics. Perhaps that’s why his father can’t stand the sight of him he wonders. He’s only ever played on one side of the playground, but he can’t help but wonder how the other half plays. It’s a curiosity at best. He knows many of his friends from various places that have experimented with both sexes. He just never had. There’s something so erotic about this particular guy. He can’t quite put his finger on what it might be. The guy’s slowly walking towards him. Dean gulps. 

“Hi there. My name’s Michael. I’m usually not into meeting anyone as casually as this and I’m not very good at pickup lines so, do you mind if I buy you a drink?” 

Dean blushes. “Uh, sure.” 

He can’t believe he’s letting this guy buy him a drink. The guy is slightly older than Dean. He’s Dean’s height, around 6’. He’s got light brown hair and green eyes like Dean. He’s wearing a very nice light blue Chambray shirt with dark denim jeans. If Dean was bi, he most certainly would go out with him. So what gives? 

“Do you come here often?” 

Dean clears his throat. “Uh, no. Actually, it’s my first time. I’m, uh…I’m not from around here really. Just kinda staying in town for awhile with my family.” 

Michael buys him another shot. They start drinking together. Dean’s feeling pretty buzzed by now. Pretty soon the conversation starts flowing. They talk about cars and music. Dean can talk about those two subjects for hours. Dean doesn’t realize how late it’s getting. It’s way past midnight. Soon the bar does it’s last call for alcohol. Dean finds himself outside, still talking with Michael. Michael’s bumping his shoulder, his hand grazing Dean’s every once in awhile. The bar closes so they continue talking in the Impala that’s still parked in the back of the bar. One thing leads to another as the young man makes advances towards him. It’s awkward. He’s never done anything like this ever before. He doesn’t know what to do. Eventually Michael leans in kissing him. The kissing’s Intense until he hears just one word that has his blood freeze in his very veins—-

“DEAN!”

Michael immediately stops kissing him. Dean pulls back. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Whose that?” 

Dean looks up. There’s John Winchester standing with Sammy in front of the Impala. Dean prays that lightning would strike him dead right here, right now. John walks towards the passenger side, opens the door, and yanks Michael out of the car. 

“Get out of the damned car! NOW!” Dean closes his eyes. Michael is visibly frightened. “What in the hell are you doing with my seventeen year old son!” John demands. 

Michael’s flabbergasted. 

“Seventeen? I…I thought he was at least twenty-one. He was a…at a bar for fuck’s sake. I…I didn’t know, sir! I’m out. I’m leaving right now.” Michael doesn’t even dare look at Dean. He just grabs his jacket out of the car and runs. 

“That’s good! You’d better run, boy! You’d better run before I beat the living daylights outa you!” John bellows.

 In the span of five seconds, Dean sobers up quickly. Dean opens his eyes and looks at Sammy. Sammy looks like he’s about to cry. He’s already biting his nails. John slams the car door shut. Most of the bar’s patrons have already left. The few that are still in the back parking lot are curious as to what’s going on. John looks at the small crowd of looky-Lou’s 

“What? This is none of your fucking concern. You folks better move along. There’s nothing to see here.” John gives them a menacing look. They don’t need to be told twice. They all get in their cars and leave. 

Now, the Winchesters are the only ones left in the parking lot. It doesn’t take long for John to head over to Dean’s side of the car. By this time, Dean’s already shaking like a leaf. Gone is the cool outer facade. He can handle himself with almost anyone except for his father. 

“Get out of the damned car now, Dean!” 

Dean slowly gets out of the car. Once he’s completely out John punches him in the eye. He falls back a little. 

“What in the hell are you doing, boy? Are you a faggot, boy?” John punches him again splitting his lower lip 

“Dad, please stop!” 

Sammy starts pleading with his father. Dean spits a crimson spray of blood on the ground. He takes his hand and wipes the blood from his lip. 

“Answer me, boy! First you were seeing that slut and now I find you doing this. What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

John pushes Dean. Dean flinches, but he doesn’t hit his father. By this time, he’s mostly in shock. The whole series of events is happening much too quickly. 

“Dean, I’m waiting for an explanation. You’d better start talking.” John pushes him again until his back is up against the wall of the building. 

“I’m sorry. I…I didn’t mean anything. I…I mean Meg broke up with me. Then I wanted to drink so I came here. Then I must’ve had too many. Then one thing led to another…” 

John punches him in the stomach. Dean goes down hard. 

“How many times did you kiss him? Did you sleep with him? Did you?” 

Dean holds his stomach. He’s not feeling well at all. 

“No, dad. I didn’t sleep with him. That was my first time kissing him. I swear!”  

If looks could kill, Dean Winchester would be a dead man. Sammy starts coming over to help Dean. 

“No, Sam. You stay right there.” John shouts. “Dean give me the car keys.” 

Dean doesn’t register what John’s says.

“I said give. Me. The. Car. Keys, dammit!” 

Dean finally understands what John wants. He fishes the car keys out of his pocket and hands them to John. John grabs them out of Dean’s hands and starts walking away. Dean starts to get up slowly. 

“Sammy, get in the car.”

 Sammy starts walking towards the car. Dean starts walking towards the car holding his stomach while his lip bleeds profusely, drops of blood staining his white short sleeve t-shirt. Sammy gets in the back seat of the Impala. His hazel eyes never leave his older brother. John starts the engine. Dean walks to the passenger side door of the Impala. He’s about to get into the car, but the car starts moving. 

“Dad? Dad, please. Stop the car!” 

John stops the car and looks at Dean. Dean walks around to the driver’s side, faces his father. John looks at him solemnly. 

“Dad, I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again. I swear. I was weak. I won’t ever let it happen again. I promise.” 

John just looks at him and shakes his head. 

“That’s right son. It’ll never happen again because you’re not coming back with us.” 

Dean’s green eyes look three times bigger. 

“What?” 

Sammy’s sobbing in the back seat. 

“I said that will never happen again because you’re not coming back with us.” 

Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing, 

“But, dad, I’m…I’m only seventeen. What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna go?” 

Dean starts crying hysterically.

“Son, you should have thought about that before you kissed a man, before you turned into whatever this is!” John holds his hands up in desperation. 

Dean starts shaking his head. “No, dad. Please don’t do this to me. I’ll change. I.. I can be whatever you want me to be. I’ll, I’ll hunt full time. I…I won’t get my GED. I’ll…I’ll even quit my job so that you and I can go hunting full time.” Dean pleads, begs his father. 

“Too late, Dean. As the proverbial saying goes —- You’ve made your bed and now you get to fucking lay in it.” 

Dean runs his hands through his short cropped hair. 

“Can…can I at least get my duffel bag? My clothes?” Dean remembers he still has about $200 dollars stashed away inside his latest Busty Asian Beauty magazine. That is if John hasn’t found the money already. 

“No, Dean. You don’t get to pick and choose anything. You’ve given up that right when you’ve refused to obey your father. The only reason you got caught is because you broke curfew and I came looking for you. It’s your own damned fault, Dean. Now you get to figure it out. You’ve always wanted your freedom and now you have it. Don’t bother looking for us. We’re already packed. We’re leaving right now. I’ll pray for you, Dean. Lord knows how embarrassed your mother in heaven must be right now.” John starts pulling away. “Goodbye, Dean and good luck.” 

Those are the last words he hears as the Impala pulls away from the parking lot and drives off into the distance. 

***

Chapter Text

And the days go by

Like a strand in the wind

In the web that is my own

I begin again

Said to my friend, baby

Nothin' else mattered

Dean falls on his knees to the ground. He’s sobbing uncontrollably. The blood from his lip falls on the pavement. He begins to vomit violently as he’s clutching his stomach. He hadn’t eaten much of anything that day, so a mixture of bile and alcohol rise up in his throat. What’s in comes out as it burns his esophagus. He finally stops throwing up about ten minutes later. He spits the blood from his mouth onto the ground as he tries to clean the snot from his congested nose with his arm. He sits on the pavement of the dark parking lot as he tries to figure out what just went down. It feels surreal, like a dream that can’t possibly be happening to him. He doesn’t know exactly how long he sits there. Fifteen minutes? 30 minutes? An hour? He finally gets up slowly. He looks around the empty parking lot. It’s late and there’s absolutely no one around, no one to ask for help. He remembers the folded up $50 dollar bill in his wallet. He was saving it to take Meg out to a nice restaurant. It’s all he has left after spending the rest of his money on whiskey at the bar. He shakes his head and sighs. He looks at his watch. It’s already two o’clock in the morning. There’s a pay-by-the-hour skeevy motel next door, the Eden Inn. He really needs to tend to his injuries and rest so he starts walking towards the motel. 

He gets to the motel and rents the cheapest room for the night. It’s $39 for one night. He pays the clerk. That leaves him with $11 for the rest of what—-he doesn’t really know. He gets the keys to his room. The cheap plastic fob is cracked—Room 13. Even his room number is cursed. He opens the door and sighs. The room’s worse than the one his family was renting. He turns the overhead light on. It’s hardly working so he turns on the lamp on the nightstand. The room is hideous to say the least. It looks like it came out of a Stephen King movie. The walls are painted a garish green. The burnt orange carpet is stained and moldy. There’s a full size bed with it’s equally hideous burnt orange bedspread. He goes to turn on the tv but it doesn’t work. He heads over to see the bathroom. It makes his head spin. He runs towards the toilet to throw up. He gets on his knees and starts upchucking again. He’s in for a wicked hangover. After he finishes vomiting, he gets up again to wash his hands in the sink. The avocado green  porcelain sink is cracked. So is the mirror. He looks at his reflection. He starts crying again. He’s right eye is swollen shut by now and his split lip is in sore need of ice. He feels exactly how he looks in the mirror —-cracked. He glances over to the smallest shower cabin he’s ever seen. It’s got nicotine stains and a torn shower curtain. He’s got to get out of this bathroom. It’s depressing as hell. He grabs a towel after he splashes water on his face. He wipes off the blood from his lip. He really should get some ice from the ice machine for his swollen eye and lip, but he just doesn’t have it in him. He turns off the light and heads out into the bedroom. He doesn’t even bother to get undressed or pull back the bedspread. He’s afraid to find out what’s underneath it. To tell you the truth he’s scared. He’s so fucking scared. He curls himself into a ball as he lays on his side. He cries himself to sleep with the light from the lamp still on. “Goodnight, Sammy.” He whispers.

***

Chapter Text

The next morning, he wakes up with an excruciating headache. His eye hurts. His mouth hurts and his stomach feels like he definitely lost in fight club. He turns over slowly and groans. Suddenly, the events of last night come flashing quickly in his mind. Finding Meg with his boss —-Going to the dive bar—- Getting shit-faced drunk—- Seeing Michael from across the room—-Michael in the Impala—-Kissing Michael—-“DEAN!”—-John Appears—-Michael running away—-Sammy crying—-John punching him in the eye-the lip-the stomach—-the pleading and begging—-the Impala fading away. He groans. What the hell has he done? 

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. He gets up gingerly. His stomach is killing him. 

“I’m coming.” 

He walks over and opens the door slightly ajar.

“Yes?” 

It’s the cleaning lady. 

“It’s noon, sir. Ya either need to pay for another night or leave. What will it be?” 

She’s already rolling the cleaning cart towards the room. Dean turns around to look at the room as if it holds the answer. 

“Uh, I’m leaving. Just give me a sec.” 

She nods her head. Quickly, he goes to use the restroom. He washes his hands and looks at his face. Yeppers. Definitely lost at fight club. He sighs. He looks around the room. He remembers that he’s brought absolutely nothing with him. He gets the room key, opens the door, and hands her the key. She quickly ignores him as she goes into the room to begin cleaning. He walks halfway down the motel parking lot and stops. What in the hell is he supposed to do? Where in the hell is he supposed to go? For the first time in his young life he hasn’t a clue. He sits on the curb of the parking lot. He’s supposedly free now, but it doesn’t feel very liberating. He’s caught in a trap. It scares the shit out of him. 

He ends up wandering around aimlessly. He can’t help himself. He has to go back to the motel that John had previously rented. He has to know for sure that John and Sammy have really left. For all he knows, John’s just playing a very cruel joke on him. He ends up walking five blocks to the Motel Coronado. He searches the he parking lot. There’s no sign of the Impala. He goes to the front office. The clerk is there reading the newspaper. 

“Excuse me. Hey mister, did a man with a thirteen year old boy check out this morning? He’s got salt-and-pepper hair, the kid’s kinda tall for his age…” 

The older gentleman looks up from his newspaper. His brows knit together. 

“No. Come to think about it, they left late last night. They looked like they was in a hurry. Haven’t seen them since. Looks like you lost the fight. You need a room?” 

Dean’s crestfallen.

“Uh, no. Thanks.” 

He walks out the door. They really left They really, really left. He goes to sit on the curb. The idea that they really left him is so preposterous, so foreign. He can’t wrap his mind around it. He must’ve sat there for at least fifteen or twenty minutes until a car horn zaps him out of his thoughts. He gets up. He really needs to eat something. He remembers that he only has $11 left. He heads west, back towards downtown. He finds a Gas-and-Sip. He buys a powdered donut and a small coffee. There goes $5. What now? He’s not gonna make it. He starts having a panic attack. He goes another block. He finds a park. He sits down on a park bench to eat his donut, drink his coffee. People pass him by left and right oblivious to anything around them. How can all these people go by and they don’t even see him. He’s suddenly become invisible overnight. Everything starts hurting again. The powdered donut and coffee don’t go over too well. Nervous indigestion sets in. He might have to hurl again. He walks another block and finds the public library. He decides to hang out a bit. Eventually, he has to go to the bathroom. He throws up again. There goes the $5 down the drain. He couldn’t even hold on to the powdered donut and the coffee. He ends up falling asleep at a table behind the periodicals. By the time he wakes up it’s almost six pm. Time flies while you’re not having fun. He goes back to the Gas-and-Sip to buy some Tylenol because everything hurts. “That’ll be $5.” He blinks, blinks again. That’s the rest of his money. He hands the cashier his last five. She hands him the Tylenol. He opens the bottle and swallows two pills dry. They taste nasty. By now, it’s seven pm. He’s got about one hour of daylight. He sits on the curb of the Gas-and_Sip. He racks his brain. He has to come up with a place to crash for the night. He’ll be damned if he’s going to ask Meg to help him out and he most certainly won’t be begging Cole Trenton for any help. He’s probably lost his job by now. He spends an hour just staring at the customers walking in and out of the Gas-and-Sip. 

“Son.” 

Dean snaps out of the trance he’s in. It’s a police officer. “Yes, sir?” Dean says as he looks up at the officer. 

“There’s no loitering in the parking lot. You’d best go home. Looks like you lost at Fight Club.” 

Dean nods his head.

 “Uh, yes, sir. Moving along, sir.” 

The officer nods his head. “Good.” Dean gets up off the curb. It’s getting dark now. He spots a bridge a block away. He swallows his pride and begins walking towards the bridge. When he gets to the bridge he looks around. There’s no one there. There’s a large cardboard box with old newspapers. He uses his pocket knife and cuts the cardboard box open and gets several newspapers. For tonight, this is his shelter, this is his bedding. He curls up under the cardboard box and uses the newspapers for bedding and in the stead of blankets. Dean Winchester is officially homeless. 

***

Chapter Text

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And Dean Winchester is waking up under a damp cardboard box. Apparently, there had been a slight downpour last night while he was sleeping. He got lucky. The box and the newspapers kept him dry overnight. Eventually though, that wouldn’t be the case forever. He’s gonna have to make his move. He’s gotta find something better than this. This ain’t gonna cut it. He’ll be damned if he’s gonna go back and work for Cole Trenton, his boss. The guy that took his girl and started this whole thing rolling. He and Meg probably spent the night together laughing at him. Screw the both of them combined. His stomach growls. He moans as he slowly gets up. By now, his clothes are rumpled and dirty. He walks out from under the bridge. There’s a woman picking up discarded aluminum soda cans with a shopping cart. She yelps. 

“Sonny, you startled me. You don’t just come out of nowhere and scare old ladies. Where’s your manners?” 

Dean bites his lower lip. It hurts. For a minute he forgot he had a split lip. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

She looks at him from head to toe. 

“Boy, you look terrible. You look like you was in fight club and lost.” 

He blushes. “Uh, yeah. Something like that.”

His stomach growls again. 

“You look like you could use some help.” 

Dean looks down at his t-shirt. It was white yesterday. Now it was covered in blood and assorted other stains.

“Do you know about the soup kitchen and the homeless shelter on Marbach Rd.?” She asks. 

Dean shakes his head. 

“No, ma’am. I don’t. Haven’t lived here long enough.” 

She picks up two more aluminum cans as she rolls her shopping cart. 

“Well, a person down on their luck such as yourself can go there for a hot meal, maybe a shower and some clean clothes. From the looks of it you might benefit from it. Won’t hurt to try it. Look for the young man with the dark messy hair and blue eyes. He’s an angel. He can help you. He’s good people.” 

Dean spots three more aluminum cans and gets them for her. 

“Here you go. Three more cans for you. And, thanks for the info. I think I’ll go check it out. Like you said, I could use the help. What’s your name if I may ask?”

 Dean gives her one of his trademark grins and tries to wink, but his eye hurts too much. 

“Name’s Ellen.” 

Dean smiles. 

“Well, hello Ellen. My name’s Dean.”

She holds out her hand. Dean shakes it. 

“Nice to meet you, Dean. Now, git. That swollen eye and busted lip ain’t gonna take care of themselves. And, try not to do fight club anymore. It kinda ruins your good looks and all.” 

Dean chuckles. “Yes, ma’am. I try my best to get out of fight club. And, thanks for the information again.” 

Ellen winks back at him and continues on her mission to collect as many aluminum cans as she can. Dean has a mission, too. He has to find this mysterious man and his homeless shelter if he wants to survive. He certainly won’t make it out here without any money for long and the thought of prostituting himself sends shivers of revulsion throughout his whole body. He swallows his pride and begins his trek towards downtown.

***

Chapter Text

Dean heads back into the downtown area. He asks around until someone points him in the direction of Marbach Rd. He finally finds it, Angel Cove Homeless Shelter. It’s a modest two story building with other smaller buildings around it forming a square. It practically takes up the whole block. There’s a soup kitchen and various offices on the bottom. The living quarters are upstairs. There’s a courtyard in the middle with a communal garden. There’s tables and chairs where you could eat meals or relax. Dean never knew it was even here. He walks inside the soup kitchen. It’s got tan painted walls. There’s a giant mural of an angel on one wall. It’s so big that it practically takes up the whole wall. In the middle, there’s rows and rows of folding cafeteria tables with built in benches. In the back of the room is the cafeteria serving line and the kitchen itself. There’s a small office to the left. Dean decides to check out the small office before he gets in the soup line. There’s a petite, perky redhead sitting at an old oak wooden desk that’s surely seen better days. 

“Excuse me, Uh, I’m looking for a particular person.” 

The petite young redhead looks at Dean.

“Wow! Did you lose at ‘Fight Club?’ You look horrible.” 

Dean turns beet red. 

“Uh, yeah. That’s what everyone keeps telling me. But, uh, no I didn’t lose at ‘Fight Club.’ Anyways, I’m looking for a particular person, dark messy hair, blue eyes…” 

The petite redhead smiles. 

“You’re looking for Castiel?” 

Dean scratches his head. “Yeah. I guess.” 

The petite redhead puts her hand out. 

“I’m Charlie Bradbury and you’re looking for my partner. We both run this shelter. Nice to meet you.” 

Dean shakes her hand.

“Uh, I’m Dean. Dean Winchester.” Charlie walks over to the doorway. “Well? Come on. Let’s go find him.” 

Dean follows her to the back of the kitchen towards a storage room. There’s a man standing on a two-step folding ladder counting cans of tomato sauce. 

“Castiel , there’s someone here to see you.” 

The man looks down from his ladder. He really does have dark messy hair and his eyes are the bluest eyes Dean’s ever seen. He’s slightly older than Dean, but not by much. Castiel gets down from his ladder. 

“Hello. Is there something I can help you with?” 

The young man asks. Dean bites his lower lip. Once again he’s reminded of how much his split lip really hurts. 

“Uh, is there some place I could talk to you in private?” Castiel puts his clipboard down on a shelf. 

“Of course. Please follow me. I have a small office here in the back of the kitchen. We can talk there.” 

Dean follows him to the small office. Charlie excuses herself. She says she has a lot of paperwork to do. Castiel ushers Dean into a small cramped office. “Hold on a sec. Let me clear some space on one of these chairs. I swear we use ever available flat space to store food around here.” He clears a white plastic chair that has a box of tuna cans. 

“There. That’s better. Here, have a seat.” 

Dean sits down on the plastic chair while Castiel sits in his own chair across from his cluttered desk. 

“How can I be of assistance?” 

Dean starts worrying with the hemline of his dirty t-shirt. “Uh, this is really hard for me to say.” He clears his throat. 

“I guess I’m just gonna come out and say it. For lack of a better word, I’m…I’m homeless.” 

Dean’s lip trembling when he says it. Castiel frowns. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that. You’ve come to the right place. We can help you. We can offer you a warm meal, a shower, clothing, a place to stay over night…” 

Dean feels the all too familiar lump in his throat. He swallows hard. 

“Uh, I was wondering if you could help me earn my keep. I…I really don’t just want to take stuff from people who really need it you know. I…I can work hard. I’m a mechanic by trade, but I can fix a shitload full of things. I’m also really good at cleaning and cooking…been doing it all my life.” Castiel takes a really good hard look at Dean. 

“How old are you, kid? No offense, but you look really young. I’d also like to know how you got those injuries.”

Dean sighs. No one’s gonna want to hire a seventeen year old kid without a diploma or a GED. 

“I’m seventeen.” He whispers. 

Castiel can hardly hear it. 

“Excuse me, I didn’t quite catch that. Could you please repeat that.”

Dean sighs again. “I’m seventeen.” 

Castiel sits back on his chair. 

“Oh. That’s a very young age to be a homeless person. Don’t you have parents or a family member you can go to for help?” 

Dean starts biting his nails. 

“Uh, my mom died when I was four and my dad , he uh…” 

Dean doesn’t really want to say what his dad did. It’s too embarrassing. It looks like he’s gonna have to if he wants help. 

“He kinda took off without me.” 

Dean looks down at his feet. Dean hates the look Castiel gives him. It’s that look that says ‘I feel sorry for you. It’s the look of pity. 

“Please, mister. I, I can work for my keep. You don’t even have to pay. I’ll, I’ll work for room and board. I’ll be eighteen next year and then I can go. I’ll be out of your hair in no time at all. I’m just asking for help until the end of the year. I’ll leave come January.” 

Castiel frowns. 

“We can help you. I have a friend at the police department. Let me call him. You’re underage, a minor. We can file child endangerment charges against your father. We can get you into the foster care program.”

Dean panics. John will come back just to kill him if the authorities get involved. He gets up off the chair as Castiel’s about to pick up the phone. Castiel rises out of his chair as well. 

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. Hold on. Don’t go running away. Just hold on a sec. Talk to me.” 

Dean stops in his tracks. 

“Please. Come back and sit down. I…I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

Dean slowly turns around and decides to sit back down. There’s an awkward moment of silence. 

“Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Tell me why you don’t want the authorities involved. You can tell me in confidence.” 

Castiel’s blue eyes look sincere. Dean doesn’t know why he trusts this man. He’s certainly never been trusting of anyone other than Sammy. He bites his lower lip again, fidgets in his chair. Maybe, just maybe he needs to be trusting this one time. What’s he gonna do anyway? Where’s he gonna go. He’s underage, a minor with no diploma or GED. He’s got no money left, no job, no job prospects… He decides to open up, tell his story. 

“Can I really trust you not to tell anyone?” Dean asks sheepishly. Castiel smiles.

“Yes, Dean. You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone. I just want to help.” 

Dean bites his nails again. 

“Day before yesterday, I…I was having a really bad day, you know, like at home and at work. It only got worse from there. I ended up having an argument with my girlfriend. She’s cheating on me with my boss. I just got so angry, you know. I ended up at a bar, started drinking… I lost track of time. I’ve gotta a curfew, you know. Guess I was gone too long. I had my father’s car, an Impala. He came looking for me with my baby brother. Then he, he caught me…” Dean’s eyes start welling up with tears. He starts looking up all around the room. Castiel feels for Dean. It must’ve been something difficult to talk about if the young man is on the verge of tears. Dean gulps and continues. “He, uh…he caught me with a guy in the car. We…we were kissing.” 

Dean starts sobbing.

“I.. I didn’t know what I was doing. It was my first time. We were just kissing. I…I didn’t do anything else. I swear. I tried to apologize. I promised my dad it would never happen again. I begged him not to leave me. I pleaded with him. I told him I do whatever it takes, but…but he just left. He left me there in the parking lot.” 

The last sentence is almost a whisper, almost inaudible. Castiel goes over, hugs the young crying man. Dean is sobbing uncontrollably. Castiel’s heart is moved by Dean’s story.

Castiel lets Dean stay in his office so he can compose himself. 

“Dean, I realize you’ve had a rough couple of days. You need to eat something, get some rest. Then we can talk about what to do in this situation. I’ve gotta go. The lunchtime crowd will be here soon. Why don’t you stay here. I’ll bring you something to eat. You can rest on this couch. I’ll clear it for you.” 

Castiel point to a couch behind Dean’s chair. Dean hadn’t even noticed it since it was all covered in boxes of foodstuffs.

“You can lie down, take a nap. You look exhausted. I can close the blinds. No one will bother you. I promise.” 

Dean gives Castiel a little smile. 

“Yeah. Ok. That…that sounds good.” Dean’s stomach makes an appearance by growling. Dean blushes. 

“Ok. Well, looks like your stomach has spoken.” Castiel gets up and starts clearing the couch. He removes eight boxes of Mac and cheese off the couch. 

“There you go. I’ll go get you a nice blanket. You make yourself comfortable. I’ll go get you some of our famous tomato and rice soup and some crackers. You’ll love it. Some say it tastes heavenly.” 

Dean smiles. 

“Ok, Cas. Sounds good.”

Castiel smiles. No one’s ever called him Cas before. He kinda likes the nickname Dean gave him. 

Cas returns with a mug of hot soup and several packets of saltine crackers. Dean’s already sitting on the couch with the blanket wrapped around himself. The only thing Cas can think of is how adorable the young man looks. He looks like a little lost boy who’s just found his way home. Cas hadn’t noticed what beautiful green eyes the young man has until now. There’s a dusting of cinnamon colored freckles all over his face. Cas notices the young man has a chiseled cleft on his chin and dirty blond short spiky hair. Cas has to help him. He looks so vulnerable. Conscientiously, he can’t just toss this young man back out on the streets. He vows right then and there to help him. He remembers it wasn’t that long ago that he found himself in a very similar situation. Cas hands Dean his mug of soup and the saltines. 

“You eat this, get some rest and then we’ll talk. Ok?” 

Dean takes the warm mug of soup from Castiel’s hands. 

“Thank you, Cas. You don’t know how much this means to me. You’re very kind.” 

Castiel can tell by just looking into the young man’s verdant green eyes that he is sincere. 

“Ok, then. You’ve got about two to three hours to catch up on your rest. By then, I’ll be finished with the lunch crowd. Then I have to help my crew with the dirty dishes, pots, and pans. We can talk about your situation then.” 

Dean nods his head as Cas closes the door to the small office. Dean takes a sip of the warm broth. It tastes so familiar. Then he remembers it’s what his mom used to make whenever he and Sammy were sick —- tomato and rice soup. It tastes comforting like home. After he finishes the soup and crackers, he wraps himself in the nice warm blanket and curls up on the couch. He can finally let his guard down to sleep a little. There’s just something about this place… something about Cas and Charlie. Perhaps his rotten luck can take a turn for the better. He quickly falls asleep. 

He was no more than a baby then

Well he seemed broken hearted

Something within him

But the moment that I first laid

Eyes on him all alone

On the edge of seventeen

***

Chapter Text

Twenty one year old Castiel Novak hadn’t had an easy life. His life had been perfect once. He was the only child of James and Naomi Novak. They lived in an affluent part of the city. His father was a banker and his mother was a teacher at a private school. All his life , he’d been sheltered from the harsh realities of life. They had a beautiful home. It was well furnished. Castiel had everything a child would want. And, yet, it all came with a price. His parents were well-known pillars of the society and especially the church. Life consisted of school, home, and church. There really wasn’t time for anything else. It was all good when he was little. Everything was in place. It provided structure. Structure was everything to James Novak. Things got progressively worse when Castiel became a rebellious teenager. Castiel questioned everything. He was no longer content with the answers his father gave him. His mother was in constant tears. Castiel couldn’t do anything right even if he tried. Castiel began running with a rough crowd. At eighteen, he’d drive his father insane with his piercings and tattoos. It’s not like he had many. He’d decided to get a pair of angel wings inked on his shoulder blades along with some Enochian symbols inked alongside his right flank. They weren’t even visible with clothes on. He also had his ears pierced. His father thought he’d gone mad. That’s around the time Castiel had met and fallen in love. All in all, it would’ve been great except for the fact that his love interest was male. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Words ensued. Arguments escalated and within the year, his parents were getting a divorce over him. Castiel knew that HE was the problem, so he decided to extricate himself from the equation. He ran away. The relationship with his lover didn’t last. He lived off the streets for over a year by doing odd jobs here and there. His life was turned around when he met the ever bubbly Ms. Charlie Bradbury. She ran the Angel Cove Homeless Shelter by herself. Currently overwhelmed by her new position, she was looking for hired help. Castiel met her in the soup line. They both clicked and he’s been with her ever since. After talking, they came to find out that they had many things in common. She had come from a broken home, the only child of a working single mother. Charlie’s mother had died of cancer and she quickly found herself living off the street. She took on the job at the shelter, but she was soon overwhelmed with the sheer size of the task ahead. They formed an alliance as soon tackled the responsibilities of the homeless shelter together. It was daunting at first, but now they work together like a well-oiled machine. 

Castiel walks towards the soup line. He washes his hands in the sink and dons his “Kiss the Cook” apron. Ladle in hand, he scoops soup into yellow plastic bowls and hands out packets of saltines. Men and women of all ages pass through here at lunchtime. Castiel doesn’t judge them. There but for the Grace of God go I. After, he gets everyone fed. He goes from table to table accessing the needs of everyone. The man on the third table could use some new shoes, the lady on the fifth table needs a new sweater. He’ll go rummage through the back storage room for these items. He runs into Ellen, a long time visitor of the shelter. She’d run through some hard times after her husband had died. He thinks she has a daughter, but he’s not sure. 

“Ellen, I’ve saved a large bag of aluminum cans for you out back if you’re interested.” He says. 

“Why, sure, Cas. I’d really like to have them. Thanks.” 

She pauses as she takes her tray and empty bowl over to the wash cart. 

“Hey, Castiel, you run into a young homeless boy lately? He kinda looks like he lost at “Fight Club?” 

Castiel stops washing down an empty table. 

“Actually, yes, I have. He’s actually here right now. He just ate and now he’s resting.” 

Castiel feels an overwhelming need to tell Ellen that the young man will be ok. Castiel promises himself to do right by the boy. Dean reminds him a lot of himself. 

“Don’t worry, Ellen. We’re going to have a talk about his situation as soon as he wakes up. I’ll do my best to take good care of him.” 

Ellen smiles.

“Good. Because I wouldn’t want that young man sleeping under a bridge this winter. He needs help badly. I don’t know what’s happened to him, why he’s homeless…but he’s just too damned young.” 

Castiel agrees. Dean is far to young to be homeless. Castiel will see to remedy the situation at hand. 

Several hours later, Castiel finishes helping his crew clean up the kitchen. Then, they’ll have to prepare stew for the shelter’s evening dinner offering. It’s a never ending cycle of food preparation. He’s got an hour to finish some paperwork. He thought he might check up on Dean to see how he’s doing. He quietly opens the door to his office. The young man is still asleep. Castiel goes over to his desk and sits on his office chair. He begins to do his paperwork. Lord knows there’s stacks upon stacks of it. He finds himself distracted as he looks at the vulnerable man-child laying on the worn leather couch. For the first time he notices the constellation of cinnamon freckles on the boy’s face, the way his dirty blond hair is cropped and slightly lighter at the tips. The way his lips quiver as he dreams and the handsome cleft of his chiseled chin. Castiel shakes his head. He’s twenty-one for crying out loud. This boy is a minor. He shouldn’t be looking at him that way. Good thing the young man is asleep. Suddenly, the alarm on his cell phone goes off. Dean wakes up in a panic. 

“Wha…?”

Castiel silences the alarm. 

“I’m, I’m so sorry, Dean. That’s my alarm for dinner time prep. Sorry if it frightened you.” Castiel apologizes while blushing a light shade of pink. 

“Nah, Cas. It’s ok. I’m just a little jumpy, I guess.” 

Dean sits up on the couch. Cas shakes his head again. 

“Stop it, Novak.” He whispers to himself. 

“What, Cas?”

Cas looks like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Nothing, Dean. I have a bad habit of talking to myself.” 

There’s an awkward moment of silence as blue eyes look into green. This time, Dean blushes. 

“Uh, perhaps you’d like to freshen up a bit. I can take you upstairs and you can take a shower in our bathroom. I have a closet full of clothes. They’re all second-hand, but I bet we can find something that’ll fit you.” Cas offers. 

“Lead the way, Cas. second-hand clothing is all I’ve ever worn, so it’s all good.”

Cas smiles and leads the way upstairs. He goes into a large closet and pulls out a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt. He takes a package of new boxers and socks out of a large box labeled underwear. 

“Here you go. There’s soap and shampoo in the stalls. There’s clean towels on the shelving behind you. When you finish, you can find me downstairs. I’ll be up to my eyeballs chopping carrots. Tonight’s stew night. The crowd will begin coming in around six thirty. Gotta go. Will you be ok?” Cas asks. 

Dean gives Cas one of his trademark grins.

“Yeah, Cas. I’ll be right as rain.”

Cas hesitates, it’s like he doesn’t want to leave Dean, but carrots wait for no man. He smiles as he leaves. 

Dean enters the men’s bathroom. It’s relatively old, but it’s clean. There’s ten shower stalls on one side of the room with five sinks and five urinals on the other side. There’s two closeted toilets on the back wall. He’s got the whole bathroom to himself. He figures it’s quite early for the other residents to be taking showers. He peels off his dirty clothes. It’s been days since he’s showered. He realizes that he didn’t even shower when he rented the motel room that first night. He turns on the water, gets it nice and steamy. He enters the shower stall. It isn’t long before the waterworks start as his eyes well up in tears. This time, though, he isn’t really crying because he’s sad. Instead, he finds himself crying in relief. How can he be so lucky to have run into Ellen under that bridge. How can he be so lucky to have found two angels in this homeless shelter. Cas and Charlie are awesome. He’s gonna have to prove himself to them. Dean Winchester isn’t a moocher. He doesn’t live off of others without giving anything in return. He’ll work hard for his keep. He’ll swallow his pride at this point. He’ll scrub floors, wash windows… hell, he’ll even chop carrots. He’ll do anything to help out. They don’t even have to pay him. All he asks for is a quiet corner to sleep and one meal a day. He can survive, always has. He lets the warm water cascade down his back as he shampoos his hair. The warm water loosens the tightness of his aching muscles. After a couple of minutes, he wraps up his shower. He towel dries himself. He takes a good hard look in the mirror. 

“Dammit. It really does look like I lost at “fight club, fucking John Winchester.”

He shakes his head and sighs. Time to get dressed. The new boxers make him feel like a new man. Cas must have a really good eye for fit because the jeans and t-shirt fit him perfectly. He doesn’t know what to do with his dirty clothes. They’re filthy. He wads them up and puts them in the corner of the closet. He’s gonna have to ask Cas if they have a washing machine. He puts the new socks on then puts his boots on. He heads downstairs to find Cas. 

***

Chapter Text

Downstairs there’s already a bustling of activity as a handful of workers prepare for the influx of homeless people who will be making their trek in for dinner and to spend the night. He sees Charlie. She’s making coffee and tea over at the beverage dispensers. She smiles at him from across the room. He waved to her. Suddenly, he’s accidentally bumped on the elbow by a tall skinny guy with shaggy hair. 

“Oh, excuse me. I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m in a rush trying to get all these utensils and bowls ready that I didn’t see you. You’re kinda early for the dinner crowd aren’t ya?” 

Dean bites his lower lip. It hurts like the dickens. 

“Uh, I kinda got here earlier today. You, you know where Cas is?” He asks rather sheepishly. 

“Yeah. Our fearless leader is in the back chopping carrots and green beans. You might have to yell at him. He’s got his headphones on. My name’s Garth by the way. Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand, but I’ve got sporks, so…” 

Dean laughs. 

“No problem. My name’s Dean. Dean Winchester. Guess I see you later.” 

Garth nods his head as he begins setting a large box of plastic sporks on a table by the beverage counter. 

“Nice to meet you, amigo.”

Dean walks into the industrial size kitchen. It’s a rather spacious room built for efficiency. The appliances aren’t new, but they look well taken care of. It’s orderly with everything in it’s place. He spots Cas on the right side of the room where there’s a prep space for chopping vegetables. The dude’s shaking his hips. Sure enough, he’s got his wireless headphones on while singing slightly off-key. “We’ll, Imma cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I’m wanted dead or alive. Waaanted… dead or alive!” Dean gets a chance to really look at the angel who saved him. Cas had a bad case of “bedhead” with his messy dark wavy hair. He’s got a faded black AC/DC band t-shirt and a pair of faded blue Levi’s. They look really good with his pair of black combat boots. He’s also wearing an apron that says “Kiss the Cook” with an image of Gene Simmons in full KISS rock band regalia. He looks adorable. Dean shakes his head. He really shouldn’t be thinking of the angel that just saved his ass like that. He’s not even gay. What the hell. Dean must say the dude has the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. Dean thinks he could drown in those blue eyes. 

Both his ears are pierced. One lobe has a plain stainless steel ball stud while the other lobe had a stainless steel hoop with a little tiny angel hanging from it. From the back, Dean thinks he might have some kind of tattoo on his back because there’s two tips of something inked above the collar of his t-shirt. Dean’s not really sure. The guy looks pretty sassy from the back. Dean clears his throat rather loudly. Cas jumps. 

“Ahh! Oh, Dean, I didn’t hear you. Sorry. Got caught up in the music. Bon Jovi isn’t my standard, but there’s something about this one song that gets me motivated.” 

Dean grins. 

“Yeah. I’m more of a Led Zeppelin kinda guy myself, but I do know what you mean. Bon Jovi has at least two songs worth their weight in salt.”

Cas cocks his head to the side like a dog with a question. 

“Oh, yeah? What’s the other one?” 

Dean smirks. “Why, it’s “Blaze of Glory”, “Livin’ on a Prayer’s third I guess.” 

Cas nods his head. 

“Yes. I see what you mean. But, all the others suck at ass. You gotta admit. Am I right?” 

Dean nods his head.

“Absolutely!” 

Another awkward moment of silence ensues. 

“So, how was your shower? I take it the clothes fit.”

Cas continues chopping carrots. Dean goes over right next to Cas. He washes his hands in the sink that’s next to the prep table.

“Shower was great. Clothes fit like a glove. Hey. Cas, you gotta a washing machine so I can wash my dirty clothes?”

Cas points towards the utility room. 

“Yup. Right over there. Feel free to use it anytime.” 

It’s music to Dean’s ears. Cas just said he could use it anytime. Perhaps, he will be allowed to stay here, work here for room and board. 

After he washes his hands. Dean picks up an extra apron that’s hanging on the wall next to the sink. He ties it on and grabs a chopping knife. There’s a bunch of clean carrots on the table just waiting to be cut. Without saying a word, Dean begins to chop them into little slices. Cas looks over to him. He smiles. The Bin Jovi song is over and a new song starts on Castiel’s playlist. It’s  AC/DC’s “For Those About To Rock.” Cas smiles at Dean without any further comments. Dean smiles back. They fall into a steady rhythm of chopping carrots. For those about to chop —-We Salute You!

Fifteen minutes later, the veggies are tossed into the stew that’s cooking in several large stainless steel pots. Cas shows Dean where the loaves of bread are kept. They begin slicing the bread into individual slices. Charlie comes into the kitchen to tell them that the dinner crowd is here. She smiles like a Cheshire Cat when she sees them working side by side. One thing leads to another and Dean finds himself ladling stew alongside Cas into plain white ceramic bowls. Charlie’s passing out slices of bread along with pats of butter while Garth mans the beverage counter. Side by side, they work together like a well-oiled machine. Truth be told, Castiel welcomes the much needed help. It’s been hard managing the shelter this big with only five people. Dean hasn’t met Benny the handyman or Kevin the dishwasher. It’s Kevin’s day off today, so Cas has a shitload full of pots and pans to wash tonight. Dean spots Ellen in the food line.

“Hey, looks like “Fight Club Boy” has a new line of work!” She beams. 

Dean turns a bright Harvard beet shade of red. “Nah, ma’am. Just helping out, Cas. That’s all.” He adds. Cas shakes his head. 

“Actually, Ellen, if this is any indication, it looks to me like Dean might be our latest addition to the Angel Cove Homeless Shelter.” 

Cas looks over at Dean. Dean has an expression on his face that’s priceless. 

“You, you mean it, Cas? I…I can work here?—-Stay here?”

Cas smiles.

“Yes, Dean. You’ve already made yourself indispensable and I can surely use the help around here. The job’s yours if you want it. It isn’t much, but I can offer you a place to sleep and food for your belly.” 

Dean wants to cry. It’s exactly what he prayed for in the shower. Who knew God could actually listen to you whilst praying in the shower. Dean puts his ladle down and gives Cas a great big bear hug. 

“Cas, thank you so much! You, you won’t regret it. I’ll cook, I’ll clean, I’ll wash dishes… anything that you need—- I’ll do.”

Ellen smiles. 

“Looks to me like you’ve got a winner in your corner. No more “Fight Club” kid. Capisce?” 

Dean nods his head. 

“Capisce.” 

Ellen pats his shoulder as she goes to one of the tables to eat her stew. After the dinner crew had gone, Dean and Cas spend the rest of the evening washing pots and pans together. Since the living quarters are upstairs, Charlie and Garth have already begun settling in the homeless for the night. Charlie makes sure that the females are resting comfortable in the left wing of the building while Garth situates the men folk in the right wing of the building. 

***

Chapter Text

Dean and Cas finish up washing the pots and pans. They’re extremely tired, but it’s a good type of tired. They’ve helped people I need, so it’s all good. 

“You know, we have a dishwasher. His name’s Kevin. It so happens to be his day off. I don’t really wash pots and pans everyday. Thank you so much for helping me. It can all be a bit overwhelming.” 

Dean hangs the towels to dry on a towel rack. 

“It’s cool, Cas. I used to do this at home… I mean when I was with my family.” 

Dean looks downtrodden all of a sudden. He’d been on a high all evening while he was helping others. Cas notices. 

“Well, looks like we’re done here. How about a beer while we got talk?” 

Dean bites his lip again. He really needs to stop this nervous habit. It’s reeking havoc on his lower lip.

“I’m under age, Cas. I mean I’ve been drinking since I was ten, but, I don’t wanna get you into any kind of trouble. I could show you one of my fake ID’s it’d you’d like?”

Cas starts laughing.

“I figured you’d say something like that. No, keep your fake ID’s to yourself. I won’t tell if you won’t. Let’s go.”

Cas takes two ice-cold beers out of the industrial refrigerator and leafs Dean out to the inner courtyard that lies in between the cluster of buildings. It’s a beautiful spring night. They sit on a redwood picnic table in the middle of the courtyard. 

“So, tell me about your crapfest. What led you to this F.U.B.A,R. you call life, Dean?”

Dean smiles. For once, he’s met a person who hasn’t sugarcoated the fucked - up - beyond -  all -  repair thing that’s called his life. 

“Gotta love your military slang, Cas. My life’s been a crapfest from the word GO.”

Cas takes a swig from his beer.

“Keep talking. You tell me your story and if it’s as pitiful as I think it is, I’ll tell you mine.”

Dean takes a swig of his beer.  

“Sounds only fair.”  Dean swallows hard.

“I don’t even know where to begin. It’s all kinds of fucked up.” 

Dean takes another swig as he looks up at the stars. Cas looks up at the stars, too.

“It’s best to begin at the beginning, Dean.” 

“Yeah, my mom used to tell me that.”

Dean’s the first one to agree.

“Guess it all started to go downhill when my mom died when I was four. She, uh… she died in a house fire. My dad kinda went awol after that so I had to raise my little brother after that. His name’s Sammy, by the way. He’s a little stinker, but he’s mine. My kid, ya know. Anyway, … my dad wanted revenge on the evil fucker that killed her. That’s a whole other story in itself. He kept us moving from town to town after we lost our house. We’d lost everything by then. Our dad’s a drunk, a mean drunk. We’ve lived in skeevy motels after skeevy motels. When money’s tight, we’d squat in crappy abandoned houses or lived out of our car. It’s sucks big time. We change schools like we change underwear. Never have much of anything ‘cause the old man can’t keep a job.” 

Dean takes another swig of beer. Cas notices the line tear that’s managed to trickle out of the young man’s right eye. 

“I, I dropped out of high school so I could work full-time as a mechanic over at Trenton’s Automotive, worked part-time over at Crowley’s Tavern. It’s kinda hard to pay the bills when your old man’s robbing you blind. I had a two-timing girlfriend who’s fucking my boss. I had one hell-of-a-bad fucking day when I found out. I went to a bar to get stinking drunk. I, I had one careless moment kissing a dude in a back parking lot and fucked up bad.” 

Castiel was hanging on every single word out of Dean’s mouth. Castiel couldn’t help himself as he looked at Dean’s plush mouth. He quickly takes another swig of his beer. 

Cas finds himself distracted by Dean’s life story as well as his full plush lips. He reminds himself that this kid is only seventeen. 

“Want another beer?” Cas asks. 

“Yeah. That sounds good.” Dean’s grateful for the break. He knows exactly how much his life sucks. Castiel goes back into the kitchen to retrieve two more beers. 

Dean gracefully takes the offered beer and continues.

“So, I was pissed when I found out that my girlfriend was fucking my boss. He’s an asshole, by the way. I’d already had a bad enough day by then, I hadn’t eaten anything and our dad was on the warpath ‘cause I spent twenty bucks on my baby brother’s birthday. I, I was pissed. I was tired and I was lonely. This guy took a shining towards me and I guess I must’ve been pretty pathetic ‘cause I fell for it, you know. One thing led to another and we went out back to my dad’s car.” 

Dean stops for a moment. The next words out of his mouth could be a blessing or a curse. He opens his new bottle of beer with the double ridged band on his finger. Cas marvels at how he does that. Cas doesn’t have a ring, but he follows suit and does the same. 

“Anyways, we get to talking in the car. The dude’s kinda good looking and he’s a smooth talker. He,… he leans into me and kisses me on the lips. He kisses me on the lips, Cas! Can you believe it?”

Cas gulps. Yes. He can believe it. He would’ve kissed Dean right on the spot, drunk or not. 

“The next thing I know, my name’s called out loud! It’s my dad and he’s, he’s pissed. He’s not regular pissed. He’s fucking angry pissed. My little brother’s there to boot. It’s all surreal. Next thing you know, my dad’s wailing on me. I don’t hit him, never have. It all happens so fast. My dad’s always been disappointed with me, but this takes the cake. I fucked up so badly that he ups and leaves me there in the parking lot. He takes Sammy and he fucking leaves me in the parking lot!” 

Dean starts sobbing. Castiel starts trembling. All this time he thought he had it bad. Dean’s experience was so much worse. He wonders how the young man is even standing at all. Castiel sits next to Dean and hugs him. His heart goes out to him. Dean hiccups as he wipes the snot off his nose with his arm. 

“I fucked up so bad. I’m not even gay. At least U think I’m not. Can a guy like both?” Dean asks.

Cas knows the answer to Dean’s question, but. Ow isn’t the best time to answer that question. Dean clears his throat. 

“So, uh, I had enough money to stay one night at some skanky motel to lick my wounds. I quickly ran out of money. That’s, that’s when Ellen found me. I must’ve looked like shit ‘cause she told me to come find you. The rest,… well, the rest of history, huh, Cas?”

Cas wipes the tears off Dean’s tear stained cheeks with his thumb. 

“That’s one long F.U.B.A.R.  of a story, Dean. It’s gonna make mine look like a fucking cake walk.” 

Dean laughs. Castiel likes it whenever Dean laughs. 

Castiel proceeds to tell Dean about his prestigious upbringing, how his father was a respected banker and his mother was a religious private school teacher. He told him about his rather religious and uneventful childhood. He told him how life was good until he started rocking the boat, so to speak. He told Dean about his rebellious teenage years. How he’d been trying to quote “Find Himself “ through drinking and drugging. He went on to tell Dean about his experimenting with body mods. Dean now knows Cas has angel wing’s tattooed on his shoulder blades on his back along with Enochian symbols tattooed on his flanks. Dean’s already seen Cas’s pierced ears. Cas says he’s interested in more body piercings, but he’s tight on money. Castiel is like an open book and Dean has just gotten permission to read it. There’s a weird moment of silence as a gentle breeze blows.

“I’m gay, Dean.” Cas adds. 

Dean gulps. 

“Oh. Ok.” 

“And, yes. It’s possible to be attracted to both sexes. Most people just don’t want to acknowledge that or talk about it. You’re not a freak, Dean. I mean, I don’t know how much you felt for the young man that kissed you, but you were just exploring another facet of yourself. There’ll be plenty of time to mull it over. You’re young, Dean. It’s all part of trying to figure out just who you really are.” 

Dean was flabbergasted. No one had ever explained it to him like that. Everything was always black or white with his father, John, Maybe he wasn’t a freak. Maybe he was just different. Maybe he needed time to figure out what and who he was. And, that was ok in Dean’s book. They spent the rest of the evening looking up at the stars and drinking their beer. 

By now, it was midnight, both of them were both physically and emotionally drained. There was work to do in the morning. There’s no rest for the wicked. 

“So, you getting tired, Dean?” Cas asks. 

“Yeah. Tired, much.” Dean adds. 

“I’m going to go upstairs. I have a small room up there. Feel free to sleep in my office tonight. We’re gonna have to find you better sleeping arrangements tomorrow.” Cas yawns. 

“It’s ok. I’ll sleep in the dormitories with the other guys.” 

“No, Dean. You really need your rest. Besides, I think we’re at maxim capacity. You’ll have more privacy in my office. I’ll come wake you up in the morning. We can discuss your work schedule first thing in the morning.” 

This time, Dean yawns and stretches. 

“Yeah. Sure thing, Cas.” 

Castiel escorts Dean to his office and leaves him with an extra blanket. Cas heads upstairs as Dean finds himself alone in the small downstairs office with dozens of cans of tuna and boxes of Mac and cheese. He curls up on the old leather couch that’s a bit small for his six foot frame, but it’s all good. He’s got a shelter from the elements. He’s not sleeundrr a bridge tonight. He’s not covered in cardboard and newspapers. Tonight he has a couch to sleep on and a blanket for cover. He couldn’t have asked more even if he’d tried. He wonders if Ellen stayed the night at the shelter. He wonders what went wrong in her life to end up here. He wonders if Sammy’s ok, where he is, if he’ll ever see him again. It’s way past one in the morning. He’s got to get some sleep tonight. After all, he’s got a job to do in the morning. There’s mouths to feed. Dean falls to sleep in a matter of minutes. He dreams about the guy with the impossible blue eyes. 

***

Chapter Text

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

The next morning, Dean’s awakened by a bevy of doves perched on a tree branch just outside Cas’s office window. Dean wipes the sleep from his eyes. The wall clock says it’s six a.m. Not even a minute later, Cas shows up bright eyed and bushy- tailed. “Good morning, sunshine. Wakey- Wakey! Time waits for no one. It’s time to rise and shine. We’ve got breakfast to make!” Castiel chirps. Dean blinks. He’s one good snore close to Sleepy-town, but then he remembers he’s commitment to Cas. He’d promised to pull his weight. He was gonna earn his keep. He wasn’t about to leech off these good people. That’s not the Winchester

Way. He groans a bit, but he hauls himself into the bathroom of the bottom floor.”

“Be with you in a minute, Cas. Gotta take a leak.”

Cas looks oblivious as he opens up both sets of blinds in his office. First he opens up the blinds on the outer window of his office as he admires the cote of doves on the tree just outside his window. Then he opens the blinds on the inside portion of his office. He sees all the cardboard boxes of canned tuna and Mac and cheese. He’s got to put those away. It’s literally driving him mad. 

Dean returns from the bathroom. Cas can’t help but notice that Dean looks like a little kid who’s on his way to kindergarten with his messy hair and sleep in his eyes. 

“Come on, Cowboy. We’ve got eggs to scramble and toast to toast.” 

Dean nods his head and begins to put his boots on. He’s made Cas a promise and he’s sticking to it.

Five minutes later, aprons are donned and eggshells are broken. Breakfast is underway. Charlie comes downstairs looking the epitome of perkiness in her pink

hoodie tracksuit. 

“Good morning, bitches!  Hope you all slept well!”  

Dean thinks she’s way too perky this early. He grunts.

“Guess that means good morning in your language.” 

Castiel laughs.

“Dean’s not a morning person. He’ll probably be ok by lunchtime, maybe dinner.” 

Castiel begins putting slices of white bread in multi-slotted toasters. Garth comes into the building. 

“Buenos Dias, amigos. How’s it hanging?”

Dean thinks Garth is way too chipper way too early.

“Good morning, Garth. Dean is still trying to wake up. Feel free to add to his torment by perhaps singing some of your country western tunes while he’s scrambling eggs on the skillet.”

Dean moans. 

“Baby, you a song. You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise!” 

Dean literally flinches. It’s the lyrics to “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line.

“Ok. Ok. I give up! I surrender. I’ll scramble these eggs. Just, for the love of God, make it STOP!” 

Garth laughs. 

“Ok., Amigo. No more Florida Georgia Line. I’ll stop.” 

Dean cracks three more eggs on the large skillet.

“Good. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate that.” 

Just then, the back door opens and a young Asian man steps into the room. 

“Dean, I believe our faithful dishwasher is here. Kevin, this is Dean. Dean, this is Kevin.”

The young Asian man approaches Dean cautiously. 

“Who’s the new dude?” He asks.

Castiel turns to face him.

“This is Dean. He’s a bit down on his luck. He’s proven to be a hard worker so he’s new to our crew. Please teach him the ropes. He’s an asset to us all.” Cas says.

Kevin looks at Dean with a skeptical eye. Dean has to admit he’d do the same in Kevin’s shoes. The young man looks him over, doesn’t say a word as he prepares the sink with sudsy bubbles from the dish detergent. 

Dean keeps cracking eggs and scrambled them in large quantities while Cas keeps toasting bread. Garth makes coffee as Charlie says she’s got payroll to do. Dean’s just found out that she’s the accountant/social worker for the shelter. Dean’s beginning to realize that Cas needs all the help he can get. Just then, another man enters the room. This time, it’s a burly man with dark hair and a beard. This has to be the handyman, Benny. 

“Salutations, everyone. Oh, and who might this be?” The burly man asks as he takes off his tweed cabbie cap. Dean thinks it looks a little odd given that the man’s wearing a work shirt and work pants. 

“This is Dean and he’s a new addition to our little rag-tag troupe.” Cas chirps.,

Benny nods his head.

“Very well. I’m Benny and anything that needs fixed’, you come to me, ya hear.?” 

Dean nods his head. “Name’s Dean. Pleased to meet ya.” Dean drawls, spatula in hand. 

Cas looks up at the clock. 

“Times a-wasting. We’ve got hungry mouths to feed.”

Everybody snaps to attention. They’ve got s job to do. It’s almost seven and soon the sleepyheads upstairs, along with others off the street will be awakened from their slumber. Soon, they’ll descend like hungry locust in a wheat field. 

The morning goes smoothly. Everyone has their job to do. Dean and Cas man the line of hungry people. Charlie heads off to her office up at the front to do more paperwork. Benny sets off to repair the broken toilet in the woman’s bathroom while Garth goes to market to pick up more supplies. Kevin’s up to his eyeballs in dirty dishes. 

They barely finish cleaning up the breakfast mess when it’s time to make lunch. Cas tells Dean today they’ll be making tuna salad for sandwiches. Dean goes over to Cas’s office to retrieve a large box of canned tuna. Tonight’s also Mac and cheese night, so he gets the large box of Mac and cheese packages. Lunch goes off without a hitch. 

After lunch finds Dean mopping the floor in the large dining room. He does it without complaint. Cas watches the diligent young man with the mop in hand as he wipes down the floor. He can’t believe how lucky he is to have Dean working for him. Dean notices Cas looking at him. He gives him a big grin with a thumbs up sign. 

By five o’clock, they’re back in the kitchen making Mac and cheese. Tiredness sets in, but they keep grinding. Dean can hear Benny’s lawn mower as he cuts the grass outside. He can hear the clanking of pots and pans as Kevin keeps washing them. Dean’s stirring a large pot of macaroni in boiling water while hearing Cas rant about some missing cans of tomato sauce for tomorrow’s spaghetti night. Dean feels right at home. Happily or sadly, depending on how you look at it, it’s even better than his old home life. He wonders how Sammy’s faring. He wonders where the hell John’s carted off Sammy this week. He tries to push the thoughts to the back recesses of his mind. He’s got a job to do. There’s no sense feeling sorry for himself. Not now anyway. 

The homeless begin filling up the center around six pm. The crew has everything prepared in order to feed and accommodate them for tonight. The forecast calls for rain this evening, so Cas informs Dean that they might have an overflow of guests so to speak. Cas takes Dean to a storage closet to get more clean blankets. 

By nine o’clock, everyone is settling down for the night. Benny, Garth, and Kevin are long gone and Charlie has excused herself upstairs. She’s wiped tonight. Dean and Cas finish up cleaning in the kitchen. They line up everything they’ll need for tomorrow’s food preparation. Now, they can finally wind down and rest. 

“Miller time?” Cas asks Dean.

“Sounds good to me.” Says Dean.

They grab their beers and head outside towards the picnic table. 

“So, what did you think about your first full day? It’s certainly more work than your regular job I’d bet.” Cas asks as he opens his bottle of beer. 

“Yeah. I’d say that for sure. As a mechanic, I punched in by nine, got off between five and six. Usually went to my G.E.D. Class after work. Usually got together with Meg…” Dean stops himself from speaking. He frowns. Why’s he even thinking about her after what she did to him?

“So, her name’s Meg, huh?” Cas asks as he takes a swig of El Sol beer. 

“Yeah. Her name’s Meg. Don’t ever go out with her. She’ll rip your heart out and stomp on it then run over it with her car just to make sure you’re devastated.”

Cas laughs. 

“Don’t think I’ll be doing that anytime soon.”

Dean smiles.

“Yeah, almost forgot you don’t swing that way. It’s probably best to stay clear of her at all costs.”

Another untimely awkward moment of silence occurs.

“So, you into anyone at the moment?” Dean asks.

Cas blushes. 

“Oh, man, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I mean it’s none of my business. Sorry, dude.” Dean looks down at the picnic table and starts picking at the paint that’s chipping at the corner. 

“No. It’s ok to ask, Dean. I, I haven’t really been with anyone since the fiasco that started my spiral into homelessness. His name was Steve. I was young. I was in love or so I thought. The problems it created were devastating to say the least. My parents got divorced because of me. They couldn’t wrap their heads around a gay son. I, I couldn’t stick around, you know. Guess the rest of it is history.” Cas looks up at the sky as a crack of thunder hits.

“Looks like the rain is here. Wanna move this little party to my office?” Cas asks. 

Dean takes a swig of beer. “Sounds good, Cas.”

They leave the courtyard as it begins to rain. Dean feels so lucky that he won’t be sleeping outside on a night like this. 

They head back to Cas’s office where they continue talking about their childhoods. Each one of them had a childhood that was less than stellar, but in much different ways. They talk about the present, what’s on tomorrow’s menu. Cas invites Dean to go with him that weekend to Cosco. They’re gonna need more food supplies. The center relies on partial government funding while also receiving private donations. The budget’s tight, but they make due. Cas tells Dean they’ll also have to go retrieve more clothing items from the Good Will store. Dean’s gonna need more clothes if he’s gonna stay here. They talk about the future, how Dean wants to get his G.E.D. and maybe open up his own mechanic shop. Cas tells Dean about his dream to open up his own restaurant. It’s a long shot, but a guy can dream. Can’t he? 

By now, it’s almost midnight. They’re both exhausted. 

“I gotta go to bed or else I’ll be of no use to anyone tomorrow. You can sleep here another night then we’re gonna have to discuss your sleeping arrangements. You can’t go on being a permanent fixture on my office couch. There’s a small storage room upstairs that I think we can convert into a little bedroom. It ain’t much, but it has a small window. You won’t be totally claustrophobic while you’re in there. It’s mostly just for sleeping anyway. You’ll be working all over this place anyways. What do you think?”

Dean smiles. It’s far more than he’d ever hoped for.

“Sounds great, Cas. I’d,…” Dean swallows the lump in his throat. “I’d like that very much. And, thanks again. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be sleeping under a bridge somewhere. You’re an Angel, Cas.”

Cas grins.

“I don’t know about being an angel. Most people would probably classify me in the devil/demon category. But, I guess I’ll take any compliment where I can get it.” 

Green eyes look at blue. A connection is made at some level.

“Well, goodnight, Dean.” Cas says as he leaves his office.

“Goodnight, Cas. See ya in the morning.” Dean adds as he reaches for the blanket Cas had given to him the night before. 

Cas leaves and Dean turns off the light in the tiny cramped office. Today was a good day, a very good day.

I went today maybe I will go again

Tomorrow

And the music there it was hauntingly

Familiar

And I see you doing

What I try to do for me

With the words from a poet

And the voice from a choir

And a melody nothing else mattered

Chapter Text

The next couple of days, Dean and Cas work side by side. A familiar pattern ensues. It’s almost like they’ve been working together their whole lives. It’s oddly easy how Dean starts to forget his own problems when he puts all his thoughts and actions solving the problems of the less fortunate. After all, there’s certainly enough misery to go around in a place like this. He doesn’t have the time or energy to feel sorry for himself. 

On the weekend, Cas takes Dean to Cosco that morning. They make a huge supply run and deliver it to the shelter. They stop for lunch at a Schlotzsky’s. In the afternoon, they head out to pick up a load of clothing at the Good Will and another load of donations from the Salvation Army store across town. Dean finds more jeans and t-shirts for himself. He hits paydirt when he finds five plaid flannel shirts in his size. Cas finds it adorable how much Dean gets happy over something as small as finding second-hand flannel shirts. Dean’s a man after his own heart. Cas shakes his head again. 

“Cut it out, Novak.” He whispers to himself when he thinks no one’s listening.

“What did you say, Cas?” Dean asks as he’s shoving boxes of used clothing into the shelter’s old white van.

“Nothing, Dean. Just the mumblings of an old man.”

Dean laughs.

“You’re old, dude, but you ain’t that old. How old are you anyway?”

Cas smiles as he gets into the driver’s seat.

“Twenty-one.”

Dean smiles as he gets into the passenger’s seat. 

“Must feel good being all legal and shit.”

Cas laughs hysterically.

“Yeah. Something like that.”

They drive back to the shelter.

Spring turns into summer and by now, Dean’s a regular and familiar face at the shelter. Dean now lives in the converted storage room upstairs next to Cas’s bedroom. Charlie’s bedroom is right across the hall. His tiny room is long and narrow, but it has a row of four built-in shelves with a built-in cabinet at the bottom at the left next to the small window at the back of the tiny room. There’s even a tiny closet on the left side up front by the door. He doesn’t really have a lot of clothes, but it’s nice to have somewhere to hang his latest purchase from the Good Will store. This month, he scored himself a nice drab olive military jacket. It’ll come in handy this fall and winter. He also found a couple of Vonnegut books at the local thrift store that Cas was kind enough to buy for him. He displays them proudly on his shelves along with some tools Cas also purchased for him. Dean’s also been gifted Benny’s old Walkman so now he gets to listen to his favorite rock band songs on cassette tapes. There’s always cassette tapes on sale for cheap at the Good Will store. The Walkman, headphones, and a box of cassette tapes go on his shelves as well. He’s got quite a collection going including “Physical Graffiti”and “Houses of the Holy” by Led Zeppelin, Desolation Angel by Bad Company, and “Back in Black” by AC/DC. 

He’s also been helping Benny fix things here and there. Something’s always breaking down around here. The room’s kinda cramped with the twin size wrought iron bed alongside the right side of the room that Cas finagled from the same local thrift store. Yeah, you could say it’s cramped, but it’s all good. Come to think about it, this is the first time he’s ever gotten to have his own room before. Charlie bought him a nice green patchwork quilt and matching moss green sheets so the bed looks comfy. Cas had helped Dean paint the walls a nice shade of moss green so the room doesn’t look so claustrophobic anymore. It kinda gives it an outdoors look. Dean’s fortunate to have a place to call his own after a long day at work. Dean doesn’t get paid for his work, but it’s all good as well. He’s got a place to stay, clothes on his back, warm food in his belly, and good friends he gets to work with. He can’t complain. 

By autumn, the Angel Cove Homeless Shelter is a hive of activity. Colder weather had brought an onslaught of new homeless. Cas thanks God every night for Dean. He’s been nothing but a blessing for the shelter. Most homeless people instantly feel comforted by his patience and presence. He’ll help just about anyone. Cas would bet money that Dean would give you the shirt off his back if that’s what you needed. There’s also a lot of preparation for the up and coming holidays. It’s October and Dean’s helping Cas carve out pumpkins to decorate the dining hall. They’ll use the innards to bake pies, Dean’s favorite dessert, and toast the seeds for snacking. Cas has also convinced Dean to take his G.E.D. exam. Charlie’s even offered to tutor him. Dean decides to go for it. 

Halloween arrives and the center is brimming with activity. The crew’s all decked out in their Halloween costumes. Dean’s dressed up as a vampire and Cas is some kinda gothic version of Frankenstein. Charlie’s dressed up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Garth’s the Scarecrow, and Benny’s the Cowardly Lion. That leaves Kevin who’s dressed up as the Tinman. He’s not happy about it, says he’s gonna rust while wet doing the dishes. After dinner, they invite everyone to bob for apples and pass out candy. A good time is had by all. Dean can’t remember a better Halloween than this. Their father never let them go trick or treating. The evening ends with rounds of beer out in the courtyard after everyone’s hunkered down sleeping. 

November rolls around and once again, there’s no rest for the weary as Dean helps Cas bake dozens of pumpkin pies the week before Thanksgiving. Cas surprises Dean with his own cherry pie. There’s no better thing that Cas likes than to see Dean smile. And, as Cas recently found out, there’s no quicker way to Dean’s heart than to bake him a pie. On the night before Thanksgiving, they work side by side prepping food for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving feast. Kevin’s got his boom box on high as he’s washing dishes, the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s “Snow” Hey Yo song’s playing in the background. They all joke around. The latest running joke is the new apron Cas bought Dean that says “Mr. Good Looking Is Cooking.” Dean blushes and wears it proudly. Cas can’t help himself as he bumps elbows with Dean. Sometimes their hands graze each other as they grab different cooking utensils. Cas reminds himself that Dean isn’t eighteen, yet. 

“So, Mr. Good Looking, when’s your birthday?”

Dean looks up from the oven as he loads another batch of sweet potatoes. 

“Uh, it’s on January 24th. Haven’t really celebrated my birthday in a long time.”

Cas nods his head and leaves it at that. It’s nice to know that Dean will be turning eighteen soon. Maybe their relationship can turn into something new. Cas really doesn’t know. He also doesn’t want to ruin what they have going on either. Even though they’re friends, they still have to work together. 

At that moment, Charlie shows up with dozens of hand made placemats created by the children of Macleod Elementary. They’ll be put to good use tomorrow. 

“So, I hear congratulations are in order. Seems like “Mr. Good Looking” has managed to get his G.E.D.” Charlie chirps. 

Dean blushes. 

“Yeah. I finally “graduated” all thanks to you.” Dean exclaims using air quotes. 

The kitchen crew all congratulate him. 

Benny comes in with boxes of plain white tablecloths. They’ll be used to dress up the often unsightly cafeteria tables. Garth shows up bearing buckets of chrysanthemums to decorate the tables. All in all, everything’s looking pretty good for tomorrow. By nine pm the stuffing is cooked, ready to be reheated tomorrow and the crew had left the building. All Cas has to do if thaw the turkeys. Dean finishes the large foil trays of mashed potatoes. It’s time for a break.

“Miller Time.” Cas declares.

“Definitely Miller Time.” Chimes Dean. 

It’s a crisp autumn evening with a beautiful full moon as Dean and Cas head out to the courtyard with beers in hand. They’re exhausted as usual, but they also feel the exhilaration of tomorrow’s big feast. 

“We can’t stay up too late tonight. We’ve gotta get up early to put the turkeys in the ovens. Those suckers ain’t gonna cook themselves.” Cas says. 

“Yeah. I know. It’s just such a nice night.”

They sit quietly looking up at the stars.

Cas takes a swig of beer. “Ever feel small? Like the universe doesn’t know that you even exist…”

Dean takes a swig of his beer. “All the time, Cas. All the time.”

Dean’s still admiring the constellations, but he also knows Cas is staring at him. 

“Dude, you’re staring at me. Anybody ever tell you that’s creepy?”

Cas looks down at the picnic table immediately. He takes a big swig of beer this time.

“Sorry. Anybody tell you that you’re a very handsome man to look at. One might even say you’re beautiful, Dean. You’re kinda like a car crash and I just can’t help but look.”

Dean laughs.

“Wow. No, never been told stuff like that. Never been referred as looking like a car crash either, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

Cas suddenly realizes that their fingers are grazing each other’s as they hold their cold beer bottles. Cas notices that Dean notices, but Dean’s hand doesn’t pull away. He just smiles at Cas, looks deeply into his eyes. 

“Now who’s staring?” Asks Cas.

Dean blushes, swallows hard.

“Sorry. You’re pretty good looking yourself, dude. I have eyes you know.”

Cas sighs.

“You do have very beautiful green eyes, Dean. They’re the color of old green Coke bottles before they changed the glass to clear on them.”

Dean laughs.

“Geez, Cas. I didn’t peg you as the romantic type. Your eyes kinda remind me of the cobalt blue color on old Milk of Magnesia bottles.”

Cas snorts as he takes another swig of beer. 

“Guess we’re both freaks, huh?” Cas says as he wipes the beer off his chin.

“Now that’s something I can agree on. I’ve certainly been called a freak before, but never so nicely.”

Cas finishes his beer and bids Dean goodnight. Dean tells Cas goodnight as well, but he doesn’t get up, yet. He looks up at the stars again wondering if it’s at all possible to be attracted to both sexes. He thinks the answer is yes because he’s certainly attracted to the Milk of Magnesia cobalt blue-eyed angel. He could drown in Cas’s sea of blue and die a contented man. He shakes his head. He can’t believe where his thoughts are taking him tonight. Cas is his friend, but Cas is also his employer, his keeper. He can’t risk this relationship just because he’s feeling something that he’s never felt before. No, it’s best to just leave things the way they are. He’ll just have to get a better grip of his emotions, maybe take more cold showers. Yeah. That’ll help. He gets up to go to his tiny bedroom. Just knowing that he’s stationed right next to Cas’s bedroom should be good enough. Somehow, though, it isn’t. 

***

Chapter Text

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

The next morning, everyone is up bright and early. The turkeys are baking, the sides are being reheated, and the deserts are all out on display. Garth and Charlie did an excellent job decorating the dining hall. Benny has the whole building looking in tip-top shape. The building may be old, but it’s got good bones. It’s definitely worthy of being looked after. Kevin’s going around complaining about all the dirty dishes saying he used to be in advanced placement in high school. His aptitude is way above this. Dean looks worried. Maybe Kevin’s ashamed of working with a fuck-up guy with a G.E.D. and a ‘give’em hell kinda attitude.’ Cas notices.

“Don’t worry, Dean. Kevin does this every freaking year. He loves being here. It’s either this or staying at home with his ‘Tiger Mom.’

Kevin makes a bitchface.

“I heard that! I am in the room you know.”

They all laugh. 

The Thanksgiving feast begins around three o’clock. There’ll only be one great big meal served today. Everyone will be so stuffed that they won’t be hungry by tonight. Cas and Dean don’t even have the energy to cook another meal even if they tried. Cas spots Ellen from across the room. He saunters over to her bearing a beautiful orange chrysanthemum.

“A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman.”

Cas gives her the flower. She blushes. 

“Why, thank you, Castiel. You’re such an angel.”

“I certainly hope that you will be staying in our hospitable environment tonight?”

She breathes in the flower’s aroma.

“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The feast finally ends around six o’clock as tryptophan coma induced residents slowly trickle towards the dormitories. Apparently, everyone’s sated and is calling it a night. It’s time for relaxation, but not for the kitchen crew. There’s dishes, pots, and pans to wash. If they leave Kevin to do it all, someone might lose their life. And, since they value their lives, they will all help Kevin out. 

Two hours later, the dishes are put away and the pots and pans are hanging on their respective hooks drying. Mrs. Tran is on the warpath. She’s called Kevin ten times asking when he’ll be home. He bolted out the door half an hour ago. Interestingly enough, Charlie has a date.

and Benny has gone home to be with his wife, Andrea. That leaves Garth.

So, our beloved Charlie has a date. What are your plans, Garth?” Cas raises an eyebrow. 

Garth grins.

“I too, have a date with the beautiful Bess Myers. Don’t wait up for me, amigos.”

He winks as he slides out the door.

Dean and Cas just stare at each other.

“Miller Time!” They both say in unison. 

They grab their beers and head outside to the beautiful Autumn evening. The air is crisp as the newly fallen leaves scattered throughout the courtyard. They take their usual seats at the picnic table and open their beers. They both sigh.

“Tired?” Cas asks.

“Tired.” Dean replies.

“Wanna call it an early evening?” Cas asks even though he doesn’t want the evening to end.

“Nah. Not with good company around. Are you shitting me?”

Cas grins.

“Nah. Just thought I’d ask. It’s been a long day and I didn’t want to be an ass. You know—- the asshole boss that makes you drink with him when you’re dead tired.” Cas adds.

“You? An asshole? Never. I’m tired, but it’s a good kinda tired. By the way, I love our little beer fest out here. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” 

“Really?” Cas looks surprised.

“Really.” Dean looks relieved.

They sit together, this time, side by side instead of on opposite sides of the table. Their knees gently brushing against each other as they drink their beer. Not too many words are said. The sky is clear tonight, perfect for star gazing. Dean points out different constellations.

“See that one, Cas? That’s Aquarius. That’s me, the water-bearer. And, see that one? That’s you, Leo, the lion. He’s the fearless leader.”

Cas laughs. 

“Yes. You are the shelter’s beautiful water-bearer, but I don’t know about me being the fearless leader Lion King!”

Dean frowns.

“With all due respect, I totally disagree. You’re a great leader, Cas. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. None of these people would be here if it wasn’t for you. You, Charlie, the gang—-you all make this place rock. You’re awesome, Cas!”

Cas nudges Dean on the shoulders.

“Ok. I’ll try to believe in my greatness, but you’re awesome, too, Dean. You’re one of the most giving, thoughtful people that I have ever known. You give and give even though so much has been taken away from you. Frankly, I don’t know how you do it.”

Dean shrugs.

“I don’t have any other choice. It’s sink or swim. Guess I don’t wanna sink although sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating whenever I bury shit deep.”

Cas looks overwhelming sad at Dean.

“You don’t have to bear the load alone, you know. I’ll always be here for you. We can bear the load together.”

Dean looks lovingly at Cas.

“Yeah, Cas. That’d be nice. It’s nice to know that someone’s in my corner. I won’t have to fight, you know—- in ‘Fight Club’ alone.” 

Cas laughs. He has one more question to ask.

“You ever think about Sammy? Ever think about finding him?” 

Dean looks pensively at the double ridged ring on his right hand.

“You know, this ring kinda symbolizes me and Sam. It’s got these two ridges. They’re like soldered together forever. And, yeah, I miss him very much…all the time. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t wonder where he is or what he’s doing. I wish I could go find him, but I don’t even know where to start.”

Cas nods his head. He’s got the answer to his question. He slowly gets up to head back to his room. 

“You coming?”

Dean gets up slowly. His whole body aches. 

“Yeah, Cas.”

By the time either of them resisters what’s happening, Cas had already given Dean a peck on the cheek. It was a chaste feather light kiss. Cas blushed and quickly walked away leaving Dean to muse what had just transpired. By the time Dean reaches his tiny room, Cas is already in his with the door closed. Little does Dean know that behind said door, Castiel’s heart is racing a million miles an hour. Cas is completely and totally in love. All he has to do now is wait until the love of his life is legal. He berates himself. Who’s he kidding? He doesn’t even know if Dean is interested. It’s too late now. Cas prays that he hasn’t overstepped his boundaries.

Dean quietly goes into his tiny room. He can still feel Castiel’s kiss on his cheek. His whole face feels the warmth of that one brief kiss. He quickly takes his clothes off, preferring to sleep in his short-sleeved t-shirt and boxers. Before he goes to bed, he takes his Walkman and headphones off the shelf. He rummages in an old shoe box looking for one particular cassette tape. He finally finds it. It’s a song off the 1979 album ‘In Through the Out Door’ by Led Zeppelin. The title - “All of My Love.” He pops it into the Walkman as he puts on the headphones. He turns the light off and gets under his comfy quilt. He tries to relax as he quietly hums to the lyrics. 

Should I fall out of love my fire in the light
To chase a feather in the wind
Within the glow that weaves a cloak of delight
There moves a thread that has no end

For many hours and days that pass ever soon
The tides have caused the flame to dim
At last the arm is straight the hand to the loom
Is this to end or just begin?

All of my love all of my love
Oh, all of my love to you now
All of my love all of my love
Oh, all of my love to you 

He lays in bed, mulling through everything that’s happened. It was a very good day. Now, he’s left to wonder what’s next. He’s left to wonder what Cas’s kiss was all about. Dean now knows he must be bi. He feels the same way he does about all his past girlfriends, even Meg. But, this time, it’s different. It’s different because he doesn’t feel the hot-blooded lust that coursed through his veins exploding into one carnal nova that perhaps lasts an hour, a day, a week, a month or two. It’s a slow burning ember that promises something more a kin to a raging fire. It’s something permanent not fleeting. It’s something with roots not transient. Dean could actually see himself with someone like Cas. They could find love, start a life together, help others. He goes to sleep that night dreaming about the young man with the cobalt blue eyes. 

***

Chapter Text

The next morning, everything is normal. Cas wakes up and gets ready to make breakfast for the shelter. Dean’s by his side. Neither one brings up the kiss. It’s not like they’re totally avoiding it. It’s more like they both acknowledge what happened and they’re good with it. It’s the beginning of something new. Cas knows Dean is still seventeen and Dean knows Cas is too much of a gothic gentleman to pursue anything further until the time is right. They’ll take it slow. And, Dean’s ok with that. If it’s meant to be, it’ll still be there the next year. They both smile, look at each other lovingly, reverently. The go throughout the rest of the day doing their chores while the rest of the crew is oblivious to the new dynamics. 

December brings freezing temperatures. The shelter is running at maximum capacity. Charlie’s up to her eyeballs in paperwork and donations. Benny’s have a hard time with the boiler. It’s decided to up and die this month when money is tight and hot water is a necessity not a luxury. Garth is running around all over town picking up clothing and food donations. Kevin is being Kevin. He’s been bitchy lately. Seems that ‘Tiger Mom’ wants him to go to college, says he’s wasting his time with the likes of the people that run the shelter. Kevin would be the last person to admit that these people are his friends. Castiel is working hard to restock the food items in the food pantry. And, Dean—- well, he gets to mop down all the floors again. Along with the cold, wet weather come dirty wet floors. He’s constantly mopping after everyone who trudges in muddy footprints everywhere. It’s a constant battle to keep the floors clean. It’s a liability as well having snow and rain slick floors all over the place. He sighs. He practically just finishes one side of the building while the other side already needs mopping. 

Other than cooking, cleaning, and general maintenance, they also have to decorate for the holidays. They use ever spare moment to accomplish said task. Benny pulled all the boxes full of Christmas decorations out of the attic earlier in the week. He managed to make the faux Christmas tree look alive in the dining hall. The poor tree is probably as old as the building, but it will have to do. Charlie’s already got dozens of Christmas placemats for the Christmas dinner. She lucked out ever since she’s been dating an elementary school teacher named Dorthy. Charlie says it’s kismet that her new girlfriend’s name is Dorthy because she loves the Wizard of Oz so much. It’s like they’re meant to be together. Garth’s putting Christmas lights everywhere. He’s been banished from entering the kitchen ever since he put a pair of reindeer antlers on Kevin’s head. Kevin was not amused. Cas is creating a Christmas dinner menu on the cheap while Dean takes over the kitchen. He’s making the infamous ‘Winchester Surprise’ for dinner tonight. It’s a casserole that his mom used to make with whatever ingredients were at hand, but usually with bologna and cheese. Everyone’s gonna have to eat it or starve. He’s pretty sure they’re gonna like it. Sammy always did. Dean has a brief moment of melancholy as he thinks about Sammy.

“Suck it up, Winchester.” He tells himself. He doesn’t have time for this shit. He’s got mouths to feed. He hopes that he trained Sammy well enough to fend for himself. 

The dinner crowd arrives. It’s more homeless people than they seen in recent months. Dean’s glad he doubled the recipe. The ‘Winchester Surprise’ is a big hit. Everyone’s raving about it. Dean’s heart swells with pride. At least he didn’t fuck this up. Ellen comes over to tell him how much she enjoyed the casserole. 

“Who knew bologna and cheese were such a big hit?” Cas declares.

“Yeah… a delicious heart attack on a plate.” Dean says.

“Gonna have to make it more often.” Cas says. Ellen laughs.

Dean shrugs. “Gonna need a Cardiologist then, Cas.” 

They both laugh hysterically.

Christmas finally arrives with a new blanket of snow on the ground. The entire homeless shelter is packed. Everyone’s well fed. Cas had managed to have spiral hams donated. Dean was able to round up fresh cut green beans from the local farmer’s market donated in order to make several green bean casseroles, mashed potatoes and gravy rounded out the course. Dean and Cas gave all the homeless new socks as gifts. They’re much welcomed in the homeless community. Clean socks are hard to come by. The homeless appreciate any small gesture of kindness. The evening winds down with everyone nestled all snug in their beds. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse. Well, that wasn’t all true. The gang had all gone home to their respective mates leaving Dean and Cas alone for the night. It’s too cold to go outside for ‘Miller Time’ so Cas suggests a different alternative. 

“My room for ‘Miller Time?’

Dean raises his eyebrows. He’s never been in Cas’s personal room before. 

“Yeah. Ok, but I think we’re gonna need a six pack of beer.”

Cas nods his head.

“Already taken care of, my friend. I’ve got a cooler stock full of beer in my room with our names on it.” He exclaims.

Dean admires Cas’s gumption. Gotta give it to him. The man has 

Dean follows Cas to his room. It’s the larger bedroom next to the storage closet that Dean calls home. They’ve only known each other for half a year, but it feels like forever. Dean feels like he’s getting to see Castiel’s inner sanctum. He enters the room cautiously. The room is painted a cheerful cornflower blue. It complements Castiel’s eyes. The room is comfortably furnished with a full-size bed, a dresser, and a blue recliner. There’s a stereo in the corner of the room as well as a small refrigerator in the other. There’s dozens of rock posters on the walls. Dean admires the ‘Desolation Angel’ one from Bad Company. There’s also ones from Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Pink Floyd. He also notices a beautiful one from the Kansas album entitled ‘The Point of No Return.’ 

“These posters are awesome, Cas! I always wanted some, never had walls to put them on.” 

Castiel hands Dean a king cardboard canister with a green bow on it.

“For you, Dean.”

Dean grabs it. His hands are shaking.

“I, I didn’t get you anything, no money.” 

Dean looks downtrodden.

“Your presence here is all that I need. It’s your gift to me.”

Dean blushes.

“Open it.” Cas says.

Dean rips open one end of the canister. It’s the large poster of Bad Company’s Desolation Angel. Castiel hands Dean two brand new cassette tapes, Lef Zeppelin’s Greatest Hits and Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall.’

“Cas, this is awesome, dude! No one’s ever given me this much.”

Cas beans.

“You’re worth it, Dean.”

Dean has a moment of spontaneity as he gives Cas a peck on the cheek. It’s payback. A chaste kiss for a chaste kiss. Cas blushes. He’s got to change his course of action before he throws Dean on his bed and ravishes him.

“Beer?”

Dean nods his head as Cas pulls out two El Sol beers out of an avocado green cooler. He hands one to Dean. They both open their beers. Neither one of them wants to sit on the bed. That would be too obvious. They settle for sitting on the floor of the room. Cas puts a record on his stereo. Oddly enough, it’s an old Bing Crosby Christmas album that Dean’s heard before, but albeit many moons ago. It’s rather comforting. 

They spend their time talking about the day and how well it all went. They talk about Charlie’s new girlfriend and Garth’s new girlfriend as well. Perhaps there’ll be weddings to attend in the new year. Benny’s wife Andrea is with child. Cas wants to throw Benny and Andrea a baby shower. Cas tells Dean that he doesn’t know what to do about Kevin. Should he encourage the young man to go to college or should he keep his trap shut. He doesn’t want to incur the wrath of ‘Tiger Mom.’ 

“So, what do you want to do in the new year, Dean?” Cas asks. 

Dean shrugs. 

“Don’t know, Cas. Never planned much for the future. Never knew what the future could bring. It’s usually a shitload of more crap. To tell you the truth, these last six months have been the best months of my entire life. It all started off miserable when my dad threw me out, but then, when I got here—- my whole life got turned around. For the first time I don’t have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or where I’ll get to lay my head down. I’m real lucky that way. It’s more than I can ever say about my little brother. He’s probably going through hell right now and I’d never know the difference.”

Dean looks at Cas. He sees the way he’s looking at him. Is that pity or admiration? He really doesn’t know.

“Well, I want you to know that you have been an answer to prayer. In the last six months you’ve managed to become an indispensable addition to our little family. I don’t know where I’d be without you, without your help. You are welcomed to stay here with us for as long as you like. I was thinking that once you turn eighteen, you could sign some W-2 forms. We could finalize your paperwork. You could finally get a paycheck. I know that I can’t offer you much, but at least you’d have some money for yourself. You could become a full-time employee. We could partner together.”

More music to Dean’s ears. He’s really wanted this, wanted to stay here with Cas, work side by side with him.

“That sounds awesome, Cas. I’d like that a lot. Next month is my birthday. I’ll get to be all official and shit. You can finally take me out for a proper beer. I won’t have to hide my drinking problem in the dark anymore.”

Dean catches himself. Did he just say that Cas can take him out next month?

Cas laughs. 

“You’re incorrigible, Dean Winchester. You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“So I’ve been told on more than one occasion.” Dean grins and winks at him.

Wait. Did he just wink at the guy?

An awkward moment of silence occurs— again.

Cas clears his throat.

“Uh, yeah. Maybe you and I could go out… have dinner, maybe go to a bar together after…?”

Dean thinks he has a hearing problem. He thinks Cas just asked him out.

“Uh, yeah. Sounds good.”

Dean rubs his eyes. Cas notices.

“Ok, then. It’s a date for the latter part of January. You’ll be legal and I won’t be the dirty old man corrupting your soul. It’s getting late and I can see that you’re tired. Maybe we can sneak out and get some burgers tomorrow between kitchen shifts?” 

Dean yawns and nods his head.

“Sounds good, Cas.”

They give each other a great big bear hug. Dean leaves to go to his tiny room next door. Cas watches him. Cas just wants to yank Dean back into his room, but he’ll have to play the long game. Dean is just too precious to lose over Castiel’s impulsiveness. He can’t jump the gun. Not now when everything hangs in the balance. 

Dean goes into his room. He takes a couple of thumbtacks and puts his new poster on the wall next to his bed. It looks really good there. He can admire it while laying in bed and listening to his music. He chucks off his clothing and gets ready for bed. Once again, he puts a cassette tape into his Walkman. This time, it plays Led Zeppelin’s ‘Thank You.’ Mid-song, Dean ponders on the beautiful lyrics…

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain 

Tears of loves lost in the days gone by 

My love is strong, with you there is no wrong

Together we shall go until we die 

My, my, my inspiration is what you are to me 

Inspiration look, see

And so today, my world it smiles 

Your hand in mine, we walk the miles 

Thanks to you it will be done 

For you to me are the only one

Happiness, no more be sad 

Happiness, I'm glad

If the sun refused to shine 

I would still be loving you 

Mountains crumble to the sea 

There will still be you and me

***

Chapter Text

It’s New Year’s Eve, 1996, and the Angel Cove Homeless Shelter is once again brimming with activity. There’s excitement in the air. Even homeless people dream about a better tomorrow, a better year ahead. The kitchen crew tried desperately to make it a little easier on themselves. The holidays had been nice, but rough. It all began in October and it hadn’t slowed down since. Needless to say, they were beyond exhausted. They decided to offer a variety of cold cereal for breakfast, cold cut sandwiches for lunch, and the infamous ‘Winchester Surprise’ for dinner. No one was complaining. This gave everyone an early evening off to be with their loved one’s while Dean and Cas held down the fort, so to speak. The homeless were once again snug in their accommodations. Dean was once again invited to Castiel’s room at midnight. Cas bought an inexpensive bottle of Champagne to celebrate the New Year. It was freezing outside. There would be a fireworks celebration downtown, but neither one of them had enough energy to go stand outside in the freezing temperatures to enjoy the display. A nice quiet, intimate celebration was more their style. Cas poured the Champagne into plastic flutes. Cas had just recently bought himself a small television set so they sat on the floor and watched Dick Clark countdown the minutes to midnight. The clock struck twelve and the two of them toasted to a better year. Dean didn’t think it could get any better than this. As they took their first sips of the bubbly, effervescent liquid, blue eyes locked on green. The earth stood still and yet rocked at the same time. It was hard to explain. Cas leaned in, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Dean leaned in as well with a breathy gasp. Their lips met in an intimate kiss. It lasted seconds. It lasted a lifetime. Neither knew which one. It was perfect. Suddenly coming to their senses, they quickly finished their Champagne. 

“I, I should go now, Cas.” Dean rasped. 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Cas whispered. 

Slowly, they each got up off the floor. Castiel escorted Dean to his tiny room even though it was literally next door. It seemed like the chivalrous thing to do. Dean kissed him one more time like a date kissing his lover goodbye at the front doorstep. Dean slowly closed the door on Cas with a smile on his face. Cas practically skipped back to his room. The new year already promising more than he’d ever dreamed. 

The rest of January was cold and dreary. With the holidays all but gone, the rag-tag crew resumed their monotonous daily routines. Charlie did paperwork, Benny maintained the property, Garth procured things, and Kevin bitched about everything while washing. Dean and Cas had a pretty good rhythm between cooking and cleaning. 

It was a normal day like any other day that Wednesday. Wednesday’s child is full of woe. Ironically, Dean Winchester was born on a Wednesday just like today. He was a winter baby conceived in the back seat of his parent’s black1967 Chevrolet Impala on a warm spring night in May only to be born on a cold winter’s night. Dean hadn’t declared that today was his birthday. He really hadn’t given it a second thought. Birthdays weren’t observed in the Winchester household. Dean honestly couldn’t say the last time his father had even remembered his birthday. He and Sammy usually celebrated quietly and inconspicuously. They didn’t want to upset their father. It’s funny how on the day his father threw him out, he’d started out having his crappy day over spending $20 on pizza for his baby brother’s birthday. John hadn’t even remembered Sammy’s birthday, but Dean did. He always did. He shakes his head and heads towards the kitchen. The boiler must be acting up again ‘cause it’s colder than a witch’s tit down here. Dean puts his flannel shirt over his double layer of t-shirts and rubs his arms. He opens the door to the kitchen.

“SURPRISE!”

He stands there stunned. There they all are wearing weird party hats and blowing streamers. They all look adorable. Well, all of them except Kevin. He just looks pissed wearing his stupid party hat. Apparently, the birthday theme is unicorns. Everything’s decorated in fucking unicorns. Dean almost chokes on his own saliva when he sees the room. There’s a big purple and pink banner with unicorns that says ‘Happy Birthday, Dean’ on it. The party hats all have baby unicorns on them. The whole lot of them are wearing white t-shirts with freaking purple unicorns on them. Charlie hands him his own unicorn t-shirt which he’s supposedly supposed to put on. There’s even a large rectangular cake with a prancing unicorn on it with eighteen freaking lit candles on it. Dean looks like a deer caught in the headlights of an upcoming semi-truck. 

“Happy Birthday, Dean. You’re legal, now!” Cas beams as he puts a party hat on top of Dean’s head. Cas thinks Dean looks adorable.

Benny hands him a unicorn paper plate and a purple spork. “Happy Birthday, Cher.” 

Dean doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Thanks.” Is all he says. 

One by one, they start handing him birthday gifts as Charlie takes it upon herself to cut the cake into individual slices. She passes each person a slice of chocolate unicorn cake with multi colored sprinkles. Dean is seated on one of the aluminum bar stools and begins opening his gifts at the kitchen counter. Charlie gives him a brand new green plaid flannel shirt, brand new, not from the thrift store. Benny gives him a brand new set of screwdrivers and wrenches. Guess he’s gonna have to help Benny out more. Garth gives him a Southern Comfort Cook Book. Apparently, one can cook using whiskey. Who knew. And, Kevin… well, he gives him a brand new set of dish towels. Guess it’s Kevin’s silent scream for more help in the kitchen department. 

“Thanks, you guys. You shouldn’t have. I know how much money’s tight right now.”

Charlie speaks up. “You’re worth it, Dean. You’re the big brother that I never wanted, but I’m glad I have.”

Everyone laughs. 

Finally, it’s Castiel’s turn to give Dean his gift. It’s a bright green envelope with a tiny purple bow on it.

“For you.” He says.

Dean gingerly opens the envelope. It’s two pieces of paper. The first one is a W-2 tax form. The second one is a paycheck, his first paycheck. If Dean’s eyes grew any bigger, they’d be dinner plates.

“Cas! What the…?”

Cas shakes his head. “Now, Dean, we’ve talked about this and it’s fine time you join our ranks and get paid for a job well done. Please accept our meager offering. Please stay and be part of our little family, our life.”

Dean starts crying. He belongs to a family. It’s all he’s ever wanted. If only Sammy was here, his life would be complete.

“I’ll do it, Cas. I’ll stay. I’d love to work with you guys.”

Everyone begins clapping, even Kevin.

“Well, chop chop. Everyone finish their cake. We’ve got breakfast to prepare, eggs to scramble and what not.” Cas declares. 

Everyone scrambled to their post and begins working. The rest of the day is cheerful even though the wind outside is howling. The shelter is still full to capacity as a new winter storm threatens to bury the town under a mountain of snow. Breakfast and lunch go without a hitch. Dean and Cas begin to prepare a hearty stew for dinner. By six, they man their stations and begin ladling out the stew into melamine plastic bowls.

It’s that moment when Dean hears an all too familiar voice 

“Two bowls, please.”

Dean looks up deadpan. The voice is none other than John ‘Fucking’ Winchester.

“Dad?”

The clouds never expect it

When it rains

But the sea changes colors

But the sea

Does not change

And so with the slow graceful flow

Of age

I went forth with an age old

Desire to please

On the edge of seventeen

***

Chapter Text

John Winchester’s steely dark eyes rise up as he looks his eldest son in the eye. Dean quickly looks at the young man next to his father. He’s wearing a thick drab olive green parka, but it’s unmistakably Sammy. Dean can see Sammy’s shaggy hair peeking out from the edges of the faux fur lined hood. 

“Sammy?”

Castiel looks at Dean. He can’t quite fathom what’s happening before his eyes. 

“Dean, are you ok?” Cas asks.

Dean nods his head. He’s in shock. He’s in shock on his birthday. He had prayed and prayed to find his baby brother. This was an answer to prayer, but not quite as he expected it to be. His father hardly acknowledges him. Dean’s just a worker at a homeless shelter.

“Dean.” 

Dean gulps.

“Dad, what are you and Sammy doing here?”

Dean hands his father two bowls of stew. He smiles at Sammy. Sammy smiles back. Sammy looks like he wants to hug Dean, but he’s holding back. 

“We we’re on our way back to Lawrence for the winter, but the Impala broke down. Swore we’d never come back to this godforsaken bumfuck town, but fate saw otherwise. Dons you worry your pretty little head about it. We’ll just be eating this grub and get going. Don’t wanna mess up whatever it is you’ve got going here.” John growls.

Castiel is incensed, infuriated. “I’ll not have you speaking to one of my workers in such a rude tone. You are welcome to eat here and spend the night. I will not however, tolerate your rude behavior.”

John Winchester raises his eyebrows. He’s not quite used to being called out and most definitely not by a sniveling young man as close to Dean’s age.

“He was my god damned son before he was your fucking slave. I’ll talk to him any god damned way I feel like!”

Dean flinches while Sammy quietly grabs his father’s arm. By now, John Winchester has the attention of all the homeless in the entire shelter. John doesn’t mouth back to Castiel. He knows what side his bread is buttered on. It seems that the young sniveling boy runs this roost and if he and Sammy get to eat, it’s on this young man’s terms. John simply nods his head as he and Sammy take their places on the farthest table to the back of the room. 

Dean swallows his pride as he places his stainless steel ladle on the counter and removes his apron. Cas tries to stop him, but it’s too late. 

“Dad. Can I, can I say something?” Dean pleads.

John looks at him with dead eyes.

“Talk, boy.”

Dean swallows, swallows hard.

“Dad, the weather is bad, really bad. Just, just stay the night. We’ve got good beds, good bedding, warm showers, too. It’ll be nice and warm. Nice and warm for you, for Sammy. I, I can help you look at the car tomorrow. You know I can fix it. Just give me a chance. Don’t do it for me. Don’t even do it for yourself. Do it for Sammy, dad. Please.” 

Dean looks into his father’s cold dead eyes. He’s hoping there’s a tiny spark of humanity left for his youngest child. He definitely knows there isn’t any love left for himself, but maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance for Sammy’s sake. Sammy doesn’t deserve to spend a night in the freezing cold, not tonight when there’s an opportunity for a warm bed. Dean can practically see the cogs in John Winchester’s brain as he assesses the situation at hand. Let it not be said that John Winchester is a stupid man, mean, cruel, but not stupid. He knows a good deal when he sees it and Dean is most definitely offering him a good deal. 

“Ok. Only for tonight. Tomorrow, you look at the car, fix it. Then we’ll be on our way.” John growls. 

Dean nods his head. “Fair enough. Just let me know when you’re through with the stew. I’ll get you all situated in the mend’s dormitories. I’ll get you clean bedding and towels. Let me know if you need clean clothes as well. I’m sure we have some in your sizes.”

John grunts. 

“Ok. Uh, I gotta get back to serving in line. I’ll see you both in a little while.” Dean winks at Sammy. Sammy winks back. The kid is practically beaming. John says nothing, keeps on eating the stew. Dean heads back to the serving line. He knows his body is still in shock, but he presses on. He can’t just roll up in a ball and cry. He has to maintain his cool, lock down his emotions. The whole kitchen crew is staring at him. He turns beet red.  He dons his apron and keeps on ladling stew into bowls. Cas comes up to him and squeezes his arm.

“We’ll talk about this later in private.” He whispers.

Dean nods his head. He’s speechless at this point.

***

Chapter Text

Eventually, John and Sammy finish their dinner. They head up to the wash carts to put their dirty bowls away. Dean sees it as his cue to go and get them settled in for the night. They follow him upstairs. He leads them to the upstairs linen closet. He retrieves clean sheets, blankets, towels, and two pillows. He proceeds to show them the men’s dormitories and the men’s shower rooms. John plops himself down on the bare mattress of the narrow twin-size bed. He looks exhausted. Dean bites his lip. He’s just gotta take this one opportunity to ask his father a question.

“Dad, I know how much you’re tired. Can Sammy…can Sam stay with me tonight? He’ll be close by. I’ll take good care of him. Please?” Dean is pleading, practically begging his father. John must be extremely tired because he doesn’t put up a fight. He grunts instead.

“You gonna turn him faggot, boy?” 

Dean gulps. 

“No, Sir. Just gonna offer him my room’s all. I’ll, I’ll sleep on the floor. He’ll get to use our private bathroom. It’ll be safe. I promise.” 

John doesn’t say anything. He just does some sort of arm gesture telling Sam that it’s ok to go with Dean. Dean breathes a sigh of relief. He didn’t even notice he’d held his breath so long. Sammy quietly and quickly follows Dean to the other side of the building. 

Dean quickly ushers Sammy into his tiny bedroom and closes the door. Instantly. Sammy rushes into him embracing him in a crushing bear hug as sobs gush forth. 

“Hey, buddy. It’s ok now. Everything’s gonna be ok. I, I’ve missed you so much.” 

By now, Dean’s crying as well. They just stand there crying, holding each other until there’s a knock on the door. There’s barely any room to move, but Dean somehow manages to extricate himself from Sammy’s octopus arms. It’s Cas at the door.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean says as he’s wiping tears from his eyes.

“You ok? You wanna talk?” Cas notices Sammy standing in back of Dean.

“Uh, yeah, Cas. Maybe later? Gotta get the kid situated. It’s a fucking miracle that my dad him spend the night with me.”

Cas smiles a little smile. 

“Yes. Of course. Please help Sam feel welcome. I’ll be in my room if you want to talk.” Cas says.

“Sure thing, Cas. Let me get him cleaned up a bit. I’ll be there shortly.” Dean adds. 

Castiel leaves Dean to take care of Sammy. 

“What do you say to a nice warm shower, Sammy?” Dean chirps. 

Sammy frowns. 

“I wanna know what happened after dad kicked you out. I wanna know everything. I missed you so much, Dee.” 

Dean smiles a crooked little smile.

“I’ll tell you everything. I promise. First, let’s get you out of these wet, dirty clothes and get you all showered up. Here, you can use one of my clean t-shirts… and, and I’ve got these comfy sweatpants. These’ll do, right buddy?” Dean gives Sammy a clean white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.

Sam nods his head. 

Dean leads Sammy to their private bathroom upstairs so Sammy can have some privacy. 

“See that door over there? That’s my friend Cas’s bedroom. I’ll be right over there talking to him. Just knock on the door whenever you’re out from your shower. Ok, buddy?” 

Sam gives Dean another hug. Then he goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. Dean waits until he hears the water running to head on over to Cas’s bedroom. He knocks on the door.

“Come in.” 

Dean opens the door and walks in, sits on the floor. Cas is sitting on his bed reading the latest rock and roll magazine. He quickly puts it down.

“What a day, huh? I’m surprised your father didn’t deck me and set fire to the place.” 

Dean chuckles.

“Yeah, he had that effect on people. He can be one scary mother fucker. I haven’t seen him in months and he still scares the living shit outa me.” 

Cas gets off the bed and slides down to the floor.

“I’m surprised he decided to spend the night here.” 

Dean worries with the hemline of his new green flannel shirt. He’s relieved he wasn’t wearing the unicorn birthday t-shirt when he saw his father. John would’ve tore him a new one right then and there in front of the whole crowd. 

“Yeah. I’m surprised myself. Guess I appealed to the one last strand of his humanity. Told him to do it for Sammy.” 

Cas scoots closer to Dean.

“So, what now?” He asks.

“Well, now I get to spend the night with my little brother. It’s kinda like an extra birthday gift, huh? Then, in the morning I can look at the Impala. Maybe get it running again. Don’t really know what happens next. Guess I’ll have to play it by ear. Really wish he’d leave Sam here with me. I can take better care of him, always have.” 

Cas hugs Dean.

“You know I’m here for you. Whatever you need, just let me know. Ok?” 

Dean nods his head as he hugs Cas back.

There’s a knock at the door. Sammy’s done with his shower. 

“Come in.” They both say in unison. Sam walks in.

“Hey, Sammy. This is my good friend, Cas. He’s the angel that saved my bacon when dad threw me out. Gonna tell you all about it.” 

Sam comes timidly into the room.

“Nice to meet you, Cas. Thanks for saving my big brother. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

Cas smiles at Sam. 

“Nice to meet you, Sam. And, for the record, no, he didn’t deserve what happened to him, but I want you to know that he’s doing well now. He’s been working and living with us here now. He’s doing much better.” 

Sammy nods his head. He begins to yawn.

“Well, Cas, Sammy’s commenced to yawning. Guess that’s our clue to hit the sack. See ya in the morning.”

Dean gets up off the floor. Cas gets up as well. He heads over to the door. Sammy follows Dean and leaves the room. 

“Goodnight, Dean… Sam.” Cas closes the door.

“Goodnight, Cas. Come on, Sammy. Let’s go.” 

They go next door to Dean’s small narrow room. 

“On the bed, kiddo.” 

Sammy gets on the bed while Dean tucks him in.  

“What about you? Where you gonna sleep, Dee?”

Dean goes to his small closet and pulls out a sleeping bag and an extra pillow. 

“Gonna sleep on the floor just like old times, Sam. Remember when Dad rented those skeevy motel rooms with only one bed? Bastard, slept like a baby. You got the crappy couch and I got the floor. Brings back sucky memories don’t it?” 

Dean unrolls the sleeping bag, turns off the light, and lays down on the floor. It’s an extremely narrow space, but it’ll have to do. He fluffs up the pillow. 

“So.”

Dean looks up at Sammy from the floor.

“So what?” He asks.

“So, what happened after dad beat the crap outa you and we left you in the parking lot?”

Dean flinches.

“Well, ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. It sucked, Sammy. I was hurting something bad. I knew that I probably lost my job. I found out Meg was sucking face with Cole. Couldn’t go back. Not after that. Couldn’t get my clothes or my money. Only had a fifty on me. Spent one night at a fleabag motel. Ran outa money fast. Spent the night sleeping under a bridge till this really nice homeless lady found me and told me about this place. Been here ever since, Sammy.” 

Sammy flips over to his right side facing Dean. 

“Wow. What a nightmare. You were in hell, Dean. Guess Cas is kinda like your guardian angel saving you and all.” 

Dean chuckles.

“Yeah. Something like that I guess. So, it’s your turn. What’s been happening to you while I’ve been here in heaven?” Dean asks. 

“Same old crap. Dad’s been following leads from this hunter named Gordon Walker. Bunch of false leads if you ask me. Anyways, he’s been hauling us all over the place. We were gonna head south for the winter, but he was backtracking a were out of Salinas when we got caught in the snowstorm. He swore up and down we’d never end up back here. He took a chance. Said you probably high tailed it outa here months ago.” 

Dean sighs.

“Yeah, well, he was wrong as usual. I stuck around. I wasn’t about to leave a good thing behind.”

Sammy lays back down flat on his back.

“That guy been good to you?” Sam asks. 

“Who? You mean, Cas? Yeah. He’s been good to me, real good.” 

They’re both quiet for a spell. 

“Good. I’m glad he’s good to you. You deserve good things, Dee. What’d you think’s gonna happen tomorrow?”

Dean looks up at him again.

“Don’t know, Sam. Whatever it is, we’ll tackle it together, you and me. You deserve good things too, Sammy. Now, go to sleep, bitch.”

Sammy laughs.

“You go to sleep yourself, jerk.”

Dean laughs.

“Just like old times, Sammy. Just like old times.” 

The wind just outside the tiny window howls as the Winchester boys fall asleep. Tomorrow’s another day to triumph or burst into flames. Guess it’ll all be in the hands of one, John Winchester, bad father of the year. 

***

Chapter Text

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

The next morning finds Dean a little sore from sleeping on the floor, but he’ll manage. Dean and Sammy wake up and get dressed. Dean finds Sam some clean clothes from the storage closet. They head downstairs where the kitchen crew’s already busy making breakfast. Dean makes Sammy a veggie omelette. It’s Sammy’s favorite breakfast. Dean looks out into the dining room. There’s their grisly old man shoving pancakes down his throat, mug of coffee in his calloused hands. Sammy finishes his omelette, hugs Dean, and goes to their father. John grunts when he sees his youngest son. Dean follows suit and heads towards their father as well while Cas sighs and looks forlorn. 

“So, uh, whenever you finish breakfast just let me know and we’ll head on over so I can take a look at the car. Cas is gonna let me borrow the van. I’ll bring my toolbox. Ok?”

John doesn’t look up at Dean as he shoves the last pancake into his mouth and takes the last swig of coffee. 

“Ok, then. Guess Sammy will let me know when and if you’re ready. Right, Sam?” Dean looks at Sam whose already biting his nails. 

“Yeah, Dee. I’ll let you know when we’re ready to head out and find the car.”

Dean looks out the large picture window in the front of the room. It had already stopped snowing and it looked a little warmer than yesterday. Dean gives Sammy a thumbs up sign and leaves. 

Dean begins to help Cas serve pancakes in the food line as he keeps an eye on his father and brother. Thirty minutes later, John still hasn’t moved from his spot. The man’s stalling. Dean can feel it. Finally, John gets up and heads towards the men’s bathroom as Sammy rushes over to Dean. 

“Think he’s ready. He just hit the head. He’s probably gonna just head out the door. We’ll meet you outside. Ok?” 

Dean takes off his apron and looks at Cas. Cas nods his head. Dean’s got his approval to leave work to go work on the car. 

“Ok, Sam. Meet you outside.”

Ten minutes later found Dean outside waiting outside by the shelter’s white van with the logo on the side. Cas had let Dean borrow his thick insulated parka. Dean parked the van right outside the front door of the building. He waits in anticipation hoping his father doesn’t decide to wuss out on him simply because he can’t stand his guts. He’s quickly relieved to find John walking towards the van with Sammy in tow. They both look well-rested. Dean’s so glad they spent the night at the shelter.

“Good morning, dad, Sammy.” Dean chirps. 

Sammy says good morning while John replies with a grunt as he gets into the passenger’s seat of the van. Sammy gets into the middle section of the van and closes the door.

“Where to? Where’s the car at?” Asks Dean.

“Five miles west, off the Interstate if it hasn’t been towed by now. You can’t miss it, sticks out like a sore thumb.” John replies curtly.

“Ok. Let’s go.”

Dean starts up the van. They begin heading west towards the interstate highway. The streets have been recently plowed, so driving isn’t such a hassle. Cas put chains on the tires earlier in the month, so that helps, too. A few minutes later has them at the intersection of the interstate highway where Dean immediately spots the car. It’s profile against the winter landscape is undeniable. Dean parks the van alongside the car. He gets out with his toolbox in his mittened hand. John and Sammy both get out of the van. Dean fishes for the keys in his pocket forgetting that he doesn’t have them anymore. His father had taken them away on that fateful night seven months ago.

“Keys?” He asks.

John frowns as he fishes for the Impala’s keys from his pant’s pocket. He throws them over to Dean. Luckily, Dean’s able to catch them even with his mittened hand. Dean opens the driver’s side of the car and pops open the hood. He puts his toolbox down on the ground next to the car’s front tire. Dean looks around. There aren’t many cars on the highway, so it’ll be relatively safe to work on the car. 

After a few minutes, Dean spots the car’s problem.

“Looks like your alternator is shot. It’s killed the battery. We can go get a new one, probably get a new belt while we’re at it. Looks like it’s slipping and has a lot of wear and tear on it. I’ve got the money for it.” Dean replies.

For a moment, John hesitates, doesn’t say anything.

“Dad?”

“Alright. We go get the parts, but I’m paying for it. Still got some money leftover from a card game. Sammy get back in the van. Dean’s driving us to a auto part’s store.”

Dean closes the hood of the Impala and retrieves his toolbox. They all get back into the van and head off to the nearest car part’s store. When they get there, Dean locates the much needed car parts. John pays and they all get back into the van. A few minutes later, they’re back at the interstate. Dean gets his toolbox and the spare parts out of the van. He begins to fix the car while John stands around looking nervously at the traffic. Sam’s right by Dean’s side. He wants to know everything that’s going on. 

After awhile, Dean manages to fix the car. It’s none too soon as bad weather looks like it’s on it’s way back. Dean closes the hood of the car. He can’t help but feel a lump in his throat. This might be the last time he’ll see Sam. It’s gonna hurt bad, like the first time, but much worse. It’s kinda like dying twice in a lifetime if Dean can describe it. John’s distracted as he looks at the oncoming traffic, so Dean pulls Sammy aside to whisper something in his ear.

“Looks like we’re parting ways here, kiddo. If, if it gets bad, you know where to find me. I ain’t gonna go anywhere. I’m working full time at the shelter now, so you’ll always find me there. Ok?” Dean hugs Sammy and Sammy hugs him back. 

“Ok, Dee. I’ll remember that ‘cause to tell you the truth, don’t know how much longer I can take this. It ain’t living. Gonna try to get away from the old man first chance I get.” Says Sammy.

Dean crumples up a wad of bills and gingerly puts them into Sammy’s jean pocket.

“No, Dean. I can’t take money from you. You need it as much as I do.” Sam tries to give it back.

“Shut up, Sam and take the money. Got a steady paycheck now.” Dean puts the money back into Sam’s pocket. 

Soon, they’re all distracted by police sirens. There’s three police cars rushing over to them. Dean instinctively puts Sam behind him. John looks back to the both of them with haunted eyes. Gone is the fierce look from John Winchester’s dark eyes. It’s been quickly replaced by fear and something else. It’s the kinda look a wanted man has just before he’s captured. Dean wonders what his father did to look that way. 

They’re soon surrounded by police. 

“Put your hands high up in the air!” The cops say.  All three of them put their hands up. John and Dean are both handcuffed while Sammy’s pulled over to the side.

“What’s this all about, officer?” John asks sheepishly.

The cops take all their wallets to identify them. The first cop had John’s wallet while the second one has Dean’s.

“John Winchester, you’re under arrest for the murder of one named Michael Star. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to an attorney…”

***

Chapter Text

Dean’s blood runs cold as the second police officer undoes his handcuffs. He can’t believe what he’s just heard. John went after him, killed him because of his sexual preference. The young man Dean met at the bar so long ago, the one that gave him a kiss is dead. He’s dead all because Dean had the audacity to let his guard down and he’s befriend the guy. He should have never spoken to the guy much less let him get into the car. Things had gotten hot and heavy. Now, the dude’s dead and it’s all his fault. Dean rushes over to the side of the road. He gets on his knees and upchucks his pancakes. It takes a while for him to stop vomiting. Dean automatically looks for Sammy. He’s off to the side crying, but he looks ok. Sam asks the police officer if he can please go help his brother. The officer lets him go over to help Dean while John’s being led away in handcuffs. John takes one more look back at his sons. For one brief moment, Dean swears he saw a pitiful plea for help coming from his father’s eyes. The look reminded him of his number one job— “Look out after your little brother, boy.” Dean nodded his head as he looked at his father. They didn’t need words to convey what needed to be done. Dean would move heaven and hell to help his brother. John knew this and nodded back. Dean’s thoughts were interrupted.

“You two, John Winchester’s sons?” The officer asks.

“Yes, sir.”

“Both of you’ll have to come downtown to the police station. It’s gonna be awhile before we get all this straightened out. I’m afraid the car’s gonna have to be impounded as evidence.” The officer explains.

“Yeah. Sure. I understand.” Dean looks over at Sammy who’s still sniffling.

“You two follow us in your van. We’ll meet up back at police headquarters. Understand?” The officer says as he walks away.

“Yes, sir. Come on, Sammy. Let’s go.”

Sammy follows Dean back to the van as Dean remembers to pick up his toolbox. Sammy gets into the passenger’s seat and Dean puts the toolbox away in the back of the van. He gets into the driver’s seat and starts the van. Dean looks over to Sammy. The kids bit his nails down to the cuticles. 

“Don’t worry, Sam. We talked about this. Whatever happens, I got you. Understand?” Dean tries to tell Sam in his most assuring voice.

“Yeah, Dean. I know you’ve got my six.” Sam says.

“Always, Sam. Always got your six.”

They drive off towards the police station as the Impala is taken away on a tow truck. Dean watches his beloved car as it fades into the horizon. He prays he can retrieve the car back someday.

When they get to the police station, they’re quickly taken into an interrogation room. At first, one of the police officers wants to separate them, but John’s arresting police officer takes one look at Sammy who’s still biting his nails nips that idea in the bud. Dean asks for permission to call his employer. He doesn’t want Cas to worry about them. He wants to assure Cas that they’re ok, but he also wants to tell Cas exactly what’s happened. They let him use one of the phones in an empty office.

“Hey, Cas, it’s me. You’re not gonna believe what’s happened. I fixed the Impala, bad alternator. Anyways, John got arrested. We’re at the police station downtown. Don’t know exactly how long we’re gonna be here so I don’t want you to think we’ve run off or something. I’ll tell you all the details when we get back. Sammy’s with me. He’s a little shaken up about the whole thing, but he’s ok. Ok, well, hopefully we’ll get back to you soon. Bye.”

Dean hangs up the phone and heads back to the interrogation room. He sits right next to his brother and across from two detectives. Sammy stays silent while Dean’s asked a lot of questions. Dean has to recount the whole sordid ordeal of that one fateful night. He tells the officers that he really doesn’t know what happened after that incident. He tells them that John pretty much washed his hands of him, abandoned him. Dean eventually found himself at the Angel Cove Homeless Shelter where he’s been ever since. The officers write down his statement. Dean signs it. The police ask Sammy some questions about their father. Sam looks to Dean for approval to speak. Dean nods his head. Sammy tells them everything he knows. The police jot everything down. 

A social worker comes into the room to ask about their family life. Dean snorts. What family life? The lady wants to put Sam into foster care, but Dean sees red. He tells her that there’s no way in hell that Sammy’s going into the system. He tells her he’s eighteen, holding down a steady job, and has enough income to support Sam. The original arresting police officer backs Dean up. Says the boys have been through enough already. Dean tells her to call Charlie Bradbury . She’s a social worker herself. She’s also one of his employers. She’ll vouch for him. The social worker does and Charlie vouches for Dean. The social worker finally relents and let’s Sammy go home with Dean. 

Hours pass by until they’re finally given permission to leave. Sammy asks if they’re gonna be allowed to see John. Dean tells him no. They put their coats back on and head over to the van. 

“What now, Dee?” Asks Sam. He’s finally quit chewing his nails off.

“Now, we head back to the shelter. I’m starving. Wanna get some burgers before we get there? I could sure use a juicy cheeseburger and some curly fries, maybe pie.” 

Sam grins.

“Sure thing, Dean. Sounds great.”

They drive to the nearest Dairy Queen and order two hamburger meals. They don’t bother going inside to eat. They eat in the van. There’s too many emotions between the two of them to be seen out in public. One of them might just burst into tears at any given moment. After they finish eating, they head back to the shelter.

By now it’s late in the afternoon. Dean knows how exhausted Sammy is, so he tells him to take a nap in his tiny room. Sam doesn’t fight Dean over it. He could surely use a good nap so he does just as Dean asks. Dean heads back to the kitchen. He’s exhausted too, but he knows he hasn’t been much help to anyone at the shelter today. He doesn’t want Cas to think he’s shirking his responsibilities. He dons his apron, washes his hands, and begins chopping vegetables. His face feels flushed as everyone in the room has eyes on him. He starts crying. Cas notices.

“Damned onions!”

“Guys, you think you can hold down the fort here? I think Dean needs to rest. He’s had a long day.”

 The kitchen crew all agree. They’re fully aware of what’s transpired. They all tell Dean to go rest. He really has had a long day. Cas goes over to Dean who’s furiously chopping vegetables. He gently takes the knife away. Dean stops what he’s doing. Cas then gently removes Dean’s apron and sets it on the counter.

“Dean, go rest. Go take a nap or something.” Cas whispers.

“Can’t. Gave Sammy my room.” Dean croaks.

Cas takes Dean by the hand and leads him up the stairs towards his room. 

“Sleep in my room. You really need some rest. I can’t begin to imagine what you two have been through.”

Dean lets Cas lead him towards Cas’s bed. Dean has to admit that he’s exhausted. All the adrenaline that’s been coursing through his veins has come to a standstill. He feels like crap.The whole sordid situation has taken it’s toll. He lies down on Castiel’s bed, makes himself comfortable as Cas covers him with a thick blue throw. 

“Sleep. We’ll talk later tonight after the dinner shift when it’s ‘Miller Time.’

Dean grins. He’d laugh over Cas’s humorous line, but he’s just too tired.

“Ok, Cas.”

Cas leaves quietly and closes the door.

Well then suddenly

There was no one left standing

In the hall yeah yeah

In a flood of tears

That no one really ever heard fall at all

Oh I went searchin' for an answer.

Up the stairs and down the hall

Not to find an answer

Just to hear the call

Of a nightbird singing

Come away come away

Dean starts sobbing quietly. Soon, sleep overtakes his body. There’ll be time to talk with Cas tonight.

***

Chapter Text

Three hours later, Dean wakes up. He remembers that Sammy’s in his room. He gets up abruptly. He heads over to his room and knocks on the door. 

“Come in.”

Dean opens the door, lets himself in.

“Hiya, Sammy. Sleep well?”

Sam’s sitting up on the bed reading one of Dean’s books.

“Didn’t know you were into Vonnegut, Dean. He’s an awesome writer.”

“Yeah. He is. Really like his books. So, how you holding up?”

Sam closes the book. His stomach growls.

“Hungry again, Dee.”

Dean laughs.

“I’d say so from the sounds your gut’s are making. Let’s go make ourselves a couple of sandwiches, get you a Coke.”

Sam jumps off the bed and hightails it out the door. Dean runs after him. They both start laughing as they head towards the kitchen. They’re so caught up in the excitement of just being together that they almost run into Cas.

“Woah! Hold your horses, cowboys. This ain’t the rodeo.”

The Winchester brothers halt immediately.

“Sorry, Cas.” They both say in unison.

Sam looks longingly at the tray of leftover tuna fish sandwiches that Cas is holding. Cas notices.

“Want some leftover tuna fish sandwiches? We made a light dinner for everyone tonight. Really weren’t interested in cooking too much tonight. Got some sodas in the fridge if you’d like.” Cas adds.

“Sounds awesome, dude. Doesn’t it, Sammy?”

Sammy doesn’t have to be told twice. He grabs two sandwiches and heads over to the fridge to get himself a soda.

“Seems like Sam’s made himself at home.” Cas hands Dean two sandwiches.

“Yeah. If there’s one thing Sammy is, he’s resilient. He’s a scrapper. Raised that kid right I guess.” Dean smiles.

“Let’s go get us a six pack, join Sammy over at the counter.” Cas says.

Dean procures three bar stools while Cas opens up two bottles of beer. Sammy’s already wolfing down his second sandwich.

“How’s the sandwiches, Sam? There’s more where those came from.” Cas hands Dean a nice cold bottle of beer.

“I’d like two more, please.” Sam uses his best puppy dog expression on Cas. Cas’s heart melts. If there’s one thing about the Winchester brothers, it’s their charming personalities. 

“Go ahead, Sam. Dean you want another sandwich?” Cas asks.

“Nah. I’m good. I ain’t a bottomless pit like my baby brother is. At this rate the kid’s gonna be bigger and taller than me one day.”

Cas laughs.

“Could very well be. So, what happens now? Does Sammy get to stay with you?”

Dean nods his head.

“Yeah. Charlie talked with the social worker from the police station. She vouched for me, told the lady I can take better care of Sammy than any foster home ever can. She’s helping me with the paperwork, gotta prove my income and living arrangements for Adam. Gotta get him enrolled in school next week, too.”

Sam comes back with the whole tray of sandwiches and another Coke. Dean and Cas look at each other and smile, but don’t say anything. 

“Say, Cas, can I sleep in your office again?”

Cas looks bewildered.

“Why?”

“Gonna give Sammy my room. Slept on the floor last night. Room’s so small, almost woke up under the bed.”

Sam looks up at the two of them.

“It’s true. He was wedged half underneath the bed. Thought I was gonna have to use a crowbar to pry him out.”

They all chuckle.

“Giving Sam your room is a wonderful idea, but I think we should discuss your sleeping arrangements alone tonight.” Cas says as he raises his eyebrows.

Dean looks astonished. 

“Ok.” Is all he says. 

It all goes over Sam’s head.

“It’s getting late, kiddo. Wanna shower tonight or in the morning?” Dean asks.

Sammy yawns. “Morning.”

Dean gets up, puts the sandwich tray in the fridge.

“I can’t believe it. I just woke up from a nap and I’m still tired.” Sam says as he yawns and stretches.

“You’ve got every right to be tired. Let’s go. I’ll tuck you in.”

Sam frowns.

“Ain’t a baby, Dean.” 

Dean smiles.

“I know. Just give me this one thing. Ok?”

Sam gets up and starts walking up the stairs.

“Ok, Dean. Only ‘cause I’ve missed you, Jerk.”

Dean grins a wicked grin. “Bitch!”

Cas laughs.

“Gonna put my baby brother to bed. See you in a little while. May have to tell the kid a bedtime story, maybe sing him a lullaby. I’m not sure.”

Sam comes back a ways down the stairs making a bitchface. 

“I heard that!”

Dean winks at Sam.

“I’m sure you did.”

They both head upstairs. Cas opens up his second beer. Dean’s such an adorable big brother. 

Fifteen minutes later, Dean’s back downstairs and in the kitchen. Cas hands Dean another beer. 

“Kid all settled in?” Cas asks.

“Yeah. He’s asleep like a bug in a rug. Kid probably hasn’t slept on a good bed in months. It’s good to see him so relaxed. For once, he doesn’t have to sleep in fear.”

Cas nods his head. He begins to realize just how hard the Winchester brother’s lives on the road have been. His own childhood was rough, but at least he always had his own room, his own bed. His thoughts are interrupted.

“So, can I sleep on the couch in your office?”

Cas looks at Dean.

“Maybe we should take this conversation upstairs to my room.” Cas says as he picks up what’s left of the six pack and gets off the bar stool. He turns the light off in the kitchen.

Dean’s left blinking in the moonlight streaming from the kitchen window. He gets up and follows Cas. Now, it’s Cas who has a wicked grin on his face. They head up the stairs in silence. Cas grabs Dean’s hand. Dean lets him. Cas opens the door to his bedroom. Dean follows. There’s a certain comfort in Cas’s room. Cas closes the bedroom door behind them. They’re still holding hands. Green eyes lock on blue. There’s a certain shyness to it all. Surprising himself, it’s Dean who kisses Cas first. Cas inhales as he kisses back. Time stands still. They both forget to breathe. A few seconds later, they come up for air. Cas undresses Dean. Dean lets him. Dean ends up in his t-shirt and faded threadbare black boxers while Cas ends up only clad in blue plaid boxers. Dean gasps when he gets to see Cas’s tattoos. Cas has a pair of beautiful black wings inked on his back. Dean traces it with his finger. There’s another tattoo, strange symbols running vertically down Cas’s right flank. Dean traces those as well. Cas shivers. No one’s ever touched his tattoos. 

“They’re Enochian. They read ‘May the angels always watch between me and thee.’ Corny, I guess. Thought it was really beautiful at the time.” Cas shrugs.

“No, Cas. Not corny at all. My mother used to tell me that all the time when I was younger. She said that angels would always watch over Sammy and me. Been wondering where those suckers have been all this dang time. Now, I know they were here with you the whole time.” Dean whispers reverently.

Cas turns off the bedroom light and leads Dean towards his bed. They get under the covers. Cas’s bed is nice and warm. Cas puts his arm around Dean lovingly. Dean snuggles up to Cas.

“Guess this is where I’ll be sleeping tonight huh?”

Cas sighs.

“Yes, Dean. I’ve been wanting to hold you in my arms for a very long time.”

Dean gently placed his hand over Cas’s heart.

“You can kiss me if you want. I’m legal now. That’s if you want to… you don’t have to.” Dean says. It’s hardly audible, but Cas hears it. He kisses Dean full on his plush lips. This time, it isn’t a chaste kiss. It’s the kind of passionate kiss that lovers give to one another. It’s a kiss with embers promising a flame. Cas knows Dean’s tired and they have another full day of work tomorrow. The work never really ends. So, he lets Dean sleep safely in his arms. There will be many more nights to enjoy passion if Cas can help it. Dean falls to sleep quickly. Cas can’t think of anything better than this. 

“Good night, Dean Winchester. May the angels watch over you and Sam tonight.” Outside it starts snowing again. The Winchester brothers don’t mind at all. They’re asleep in an angel’s cove tonight. 

***

Chapter Text

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

Just like the white winged dove

Sings a song

Sounds like he’s singing

Oh baby oh said oh

The next couple of weeks have Sammy enrolled in school and getting acclimated to his new living conditions. Sam doesn’t even blink when he finds out that Dean now sleeps in Cas’s bedroom. Sam had actually helped Dean move his stuff into Cas’s room. Not that Dean had a lot. He mostly had his books, his Walkman with his headphones, and a shoe box full of cassette tapes. He took his Desolation Angel poster with him and put all his clothes in a cardboard box. They now hang in Cas’s closet. Cas didn’t have much either, so there was plenty of space in the closet for both their clothing. Cas even gave Dean two out of four drawers of his dresser. 

Later that year, John Winchester was convicted of first degree murder. He’s now doing time at a prison up in Kansas City. He got life with no chance of parole since it had been labeled a hate crime. He won’t be terrorizing his sons anymore. Dean had to testify. Sammy was spared his testimony allowing for his written statement to stand alone. Dean got full custody of Sam. Sam goes to school Monday through Friday. He helps out at the shelter on weekends. All in all, it’s a good life. It’s far better than anything the Winchester boys have ever had. 

Epilogue 

Well I hear you in the morning

And I hear you

At nightfall

Sometime to be near you

Is to be unable to hear you

My love

I'm a few years older than you

Four years later, Sam Winchester’s graduates from the local high school. He’s gotten a scholarship to attend Stanford University to study law. Dean couldn’t be prouder. Dean and Cas throw Sammy a huge graduation party. Cas is now a mumbling old man at the age of twenty-five, Dean’s twenty-one. Cas has hired some more workers since they’ve acquired the three buildings surrounding the courtyard. The extra help is greatly appreciated. Cas tells Dean that he’s not sure that he wants to do this type of work forever. They’re a couple now and couples have dreams and aspirations. They’ve started to save up their money. They’ve even moved out of Cas’s cramped room ever since Sammy left for college. They now live in a nice apartment not far from the shelter. Cas still has big dreams to open his own restaurant and Dean wants to open his own mechanic shop. Cars, especially classic cars, are his passion. He’s been fixing cars on the side to make extra money. Life for the Winchester boys is good now. Dean has a hard time even wrapping his head around what’s transpired. Luckily, he has Cas to reel him in whenever melancholy sets in. It’s hard to believe just how far he’s come from the edge of being seventeen. Just like a one wing dove sings a song sounds like he’s singing—

“Oh baby oh said oh…”

Maybe one-winged doves can find love and happiness after all?

The End