Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When she called “Howl”

He called back “Sophie”

He saw in her an angel, a force of nature

When Michael went to marry Lettie

He thought for sure he would be left alone in that dark, lonely castle

With only his heart to keep him company 

Howl did not want to be alone

But she took his hand and his mind and his heart

Held them in warm embrace, fearful of the same thing

"You better not leave me, Howl. After all we've been through, I..." Her cheeks were the color of apples in the spring

Finally, he realized, she did not want to let him go either 

They were surrounded by a few relations, but it made no difference 

On that day they could only see each other

She vowed she would stay by his side for eternity 

And he vowed the same

Although he didn’t know how long forever was and he was too much of a coward to find out

“You make me want to be brave, Sophie.” 

The summers and winters and autumns and springs

She would hold his head in her lap and count seagulls that soared above the ocean water

And he knew her eyes were the same color as that sea, but he could not stop staring up at her again to see them

Lovely sea and hair of flame

"My Sophie, do you know how much I love you?"

“There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t give you.”

She scoffed, with a toss of red hair, and Howl felt his own heart melt. 

“There is nothing more in the world I could possibly want.”

She kissed his forehead, and threaded her divine fingers through his hair.

With every touch he felt as though she bestowed her angel's grace upon his sinning soul. 

They fought sometimes, but they quickly regretted it 

She was too stubborn to say the first apology, so Howl would bring desserts and gifts and soft, gentle kisses 

"You were right, Sophie. And I was wrong." 

And she would turn and kiss him back, because she was going to say the same thing to him.

Perhaps there was something more, that he promised her would come. 

A tangling embrace, a whisper so close the flame bled from the top of her head to the sides of her face

The rise and fall of her chest, the beat of her heart

Howl had it all memorized, in case she left him alone in that soulless castle, 

He could remember her easily

For his greatest fear was forgetting her

But as her breath quickened, and his as well

She promised that she would never leave him

And he promised the same

This time it was the truth, not a protection or necessity

When the monsters came

To threaten not just him and her

He cast a blind spell

One of quick protection, to her and what they had created

Because nothing else mattered more in his tiny world

Please be safe, he begged to those who would listen

My life, my love, my heart

He collected the brush of her fingers and the smell of her hair and locked them inside himself

He would bide his time, he swore to no one

But waiting was so hard

Not seeing her was hard

Not talking to her was hard

Her not recognizing him was the hardest of them all

And when he got them both back

He may have acted cold 

But when the castle was just theirs

He could not let go of either of them

“You’re acting like a little baby, Howl. It wasn’t for that long.”

But she knew he would still not let go

His arms around her waist and his face in her hair

Her scent was muddling, he wanted to drink it up till he died

My Sophie

His hair was raven black for her

It had been the color of the sun for so long

But the hitch in her breath when she saw his dark hair was addicting

He wanted more, and since he was new to desire he gave in easily

He was sure that even if he was a fly buzzing past her face

He would be happier than ever in his life

For just seeing her face was a drug to him

Her small nose and wide owl eyes, always inquisitive

Howl wanted to throw himself into her and be lost forever

If he could survive on her alone, he would

My Sophie

I will be brave for you, he promised

I will fight monsters for you

“Sophie?”

“Howl, I am here.”

Chapter Text

       “Sophie my dear, please pass me the basil in that glass bottle over there!”

Howl was surrounded by a number of bubbling pots and pans, his silken sleeves hiked up to his elbows and a frumpy brown apron was slung over an elegant suit of emerald green. Sophie, who had been watching him expertly toss spices and stir concoctions in a bit of a daze, clumsily grabbed the first bottle she saw and placed it in his outstretched hand. He glanced at the label before turning back to her with an apologetic smile. 

       “Darling, this is the oregano. I asked for basil?”

Sophie hastily turned back to the table and placed a jar of fresh, chopped oregano into his palms. He nodded his thanks before turning back to a large roast and sprinkling a few sprigs on top. He sighed, running a seasoned hand through his dark hair. 

       “I think I might need Morgan’s help with the rest of this food,” he said, side-eyeing a bowl of uncooked potatoes. “Do you mind calling him down, dear?”

       “Sure, love. I’ll be just a moment,” Sophie called as she walked out of the kitchen, a silver stopwatch swinging back and forth in her palm. This week she had managed to be wildly productive, and so today the house was already as clean as it could get and all her spell orders were prepared almost a week ahead. If she wasn’t such a horror at cooking, Sophie would surely have been helping Howl in dinner preparations. 

       “Morgan! Come down, your father needs some help in the kitchen!” She shouted upstairs, then started the silver watch in her hand. 

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick-

In an explosion of pale blue smoke, a young boy appeared suddenly in front of Sophie, dressed neatly in a green vest and pants, coughing and rubbing his eyes. Sophie smiled at him, stopping the watch. 

       “Mother, how did I do this time?” He said excitedly. “I managed to make only one trip , and I didn’t end up anywhere strange!”

       “Yes Morgan, you did very well. I’m quite proud of you. Your time went down… almost 10 seconds!”

He pumped his fist in the air in happiness and rushed off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Sophie alone in the hallway. She moved to the entrance of the living room, leaning for a moment on the arched entryway. 

The living room had been deeply cleaned and neatly rearranged just a few days earlier, the stained glass lamps casting a warm, colorful glow onto full bookshelves, velvet armchairs, and a gleaming wooden floor. Sophie plunked down in the chair nearest to the hearth, letting her tense shoulders sink deeply into the soft fabric. 

       “Gee, you look not busy for once. Is the world finally coming to an end?” A voice interrupted the cozy silence. 

Sophie sat up, glaring at Calcifer in the hearth, his bright blue flames flickering mischievously from behind a stack of logs. 

       “Oh, shut up Calcifer. I’ve done plenty today.”

       If the fire demon had arms, he would surely be crossing them. “Oh yeah? Like what? Name one useful thing you did today.”

       Sophie was utterly stumped. She closed her eyes and sank back into the armchair. “I just can’t think of anything right now. I’ll come up with something.”

       “Well, if you’re not busy, I could use a little help,” Calcifer’s fiery eyes glowed. 

       Sophie jumped at the chance to be useful. “Of course, Calcifer! Whatever you need help with, I can definitely be-”

       “It’s with the castle,” he interrupted. “I just need to test if I’m still moving steady and all. A routine check. All you need to do is sit back in the chair, get comfy, and close your eyes.”

Although slightly confused, Sophie obeyed, arranging herself comfortably in the chair.

       “If you feel any major disturbances, just tell me.”

       “You got it, Calcifer. This is… a piece of… cake.” A sense of utter fatigue weighed heavily down on her eyelids, making them hard to keep open. 

       “You’re doing great, Sophie,” Calcifer encouraged. “Perfectly well.”

Soon enough, Sophie had fallen into an utterly deep sleep. Calcifer checked the positioning before finally stopping the castle, right where Howl had told him to. Cautiously, two dark-haired heads peeked out of the kitchen door. 

       “Is she asleep?” Howl whispered to Calcifer. 

       “Yep, yep. She’s even snoring.”

        At last, Howl and Morgan stepped fully out of the kitchen. “ Finally . I haven’t been able to get her out of the kitchen all day, and she can’t even cook!” 

       Morgan twiddled his thumbs. “She’s been doing all her spell orders in advance, too. She must be at least a few weeks ahead by now.”

Howl moved closer to the armchair where Sophie slept, his heart rate suddenly quickening at the sight of her messy red hair and the line of drool dripping slowly out of the side of her mouth. Pushing the hair away from her face with a gentle swish of his silken sleeve, Howl placed a tender kiss on her forehead.         

       “My darling, you really do work too hard. You deserve a break sometimes, you know. You’re not bad or wrong for it at all. In fact, it would truly lift a weight off my shoulders if you rested more.” 

       Morgan knelt next to his father, his blue green eyes wide with a familiar inquisitiveness. ‘Father, should I start setting up the table?”

      “Yes, we should finish everything while your mother here is still sleeping. And Calcifer, make sure she doesn’t wake up until the guests arrive. That mother of hers will be the first to notice her monstrous eye bags and then pester me about it. Really! As if I haven't been trying to get her to work less.” Howl grumbled as he and Morgan walked back to the kitchen, tiptoeing as quiet as cats. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Calcifer grumbled. “Typical of you to give me the hardest job around here.” He shifted himself closer to Sophie, staying in a good enough range to gently warm her tired face.