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Chapter Text

At the ripe old age of 86, Harry James Potter, the master of death, dies in his home. At peace and surrounded by loved ones.

The elder wand remained in Dumbledores tomb and its magic died with Harry, the resurrection stone was still lost, and the cloak he had handed down to his eldest years prior.

Most unexpectedly, things did not progress the way they had done during Harrys previous stint with death. There was no train station with optional trains to board, and no Dumbledore to offer sage advice.

Instead, he found himself sitting up in his bed, out of his body. The people and items surrounding his bedside were slightly blurred, though he could still make them out. The hooded figure in front of him alone was clear.

Death extended its skeletal hand, Harry took it, and as equals, they departed this world.

“Death” in the wizarding world -though the wizards did not know it, was just another Shinigami. A yokai who reaped the souls of humans.

Harry however had been touched by the old magic, several times in fact, and thus he could not move on in the regular way.

What exactly he had become was not known, as he did not seem to fit in to any one category. His continued existence however was a fact, and he spent the next few decades drifting as he pleased between worlds, occasionally returning to the non-human realms, to Death.

It really was a strange thing, to be dead but also not.

He missed his family, yes, but at the same time not. They weren’t gone after all, never gone, and he felt strangely connected to them. He remembered everything, and mostly thought about them fondly even though he did not see them.

A sensation stirred in his chest as he watched a group of friends in some bizarro place saunter down a street. He did not feel sad or lonely per se, it was more like a muted longing feeling. He was acutely aware that he, whatever and wherever he was, lacked purpose. Did not belong.

Forcibly dispelling this train of thoughts, he decided to follow a family of foxes instead.

-

Meanwhile, in a far away dimension, the spirit inhabiting the island of Uzushio was dying. A creature of longevity and rebirth, she had dwelled there for millennia.

Humans came along, they populated her island and built a magnificent village which flourished. She was their island, and they had bound themselves to her with blood and seals so thoroughly that she was them and they were her.

Now. A terrible calamity had struck, the blood of her people splattered on the remnants of her streets and the rubble of her buildings.

Little sounds like candles being snuffed out reverberated through her each time a piece of her perished, each time a precious person was slain.

four thousand one hundred and five people, men women and children, slaughtered. Overrun by their neighbors who had bypassed a line of defense they should not have known how.

Betrayed.

She stretched her powers further than she ever had, tried to keep life flowing in those she could reach, and the remnants of her people fled for their lives.

The battle seemed to go on for days. The people and her had been so entwined and she was greatly weakened, the seals were going dormant save for a precious few. So little life left to sustain them. The whirlpools around the island slowed, the winds died out. Unable to rage any longer, powers spent saving those she could, Uzushio wept torrents of rain and howled her misery to the stars.

----

Harrys had been visiting a most interesting realm of summons in the form of pangolins -they reminded him of dragons a bit. When he felt Death call on him.

Curious.

The calling itself was not unusual, and time was mostly irrelevant in any realms seeing as he was dead-not-dead and Death was Death. However..

There was no way to be sure, but Harry thought he could pick up a sense of urgency now as Death tugged insistently on their bond.

In between one blink of the eye and the next, Harry appeared before his companion.

----

“There has been a mass casualty event.”

Harry cast his eyes hither and dither before recognizing that it must have been Death who spoke.

Death did not usually talk to Harry about the goings on of mortals and their passings, he cocked his head slightly, intrigued. “Do go on, old friend.”

Seeming to consider its words, Death paused before speaking.

“One familiar to me is in distress. I would come to her aid, but I cannot.”

“Familiar to you, someone like me?” Asked Harry.

“...”

“...”

“She was dear to me, once. But it is forbidden.”

‘Dear?’ Thought Harry. Death.. Had had a love interest? Before they were Death perhaps?

Harry burned with curiosity, but he held his tongue.

“There is more.” Death rasped. “There is a lingering evil in that realm, events set in motion hundreds of years ago are progressing, and.. There is a prophecy revolving around an unborn child.”

Harry stared in to the depths of the hood of death.

A child of prophecy? Such as himself?

Death had not yet made any kind of request, but Harry could feel it floating unspoken in the air between them.

Harry knew all too well the kinds of things that befell children of prophesies.

A flicker of old despair made itself known in his gut, this was immediately followed by a lick of righteous anger.

This, Harry thought, this was a chance. A chance to do good by himself and possibly someone else like him.

He turned to Death and inclined his head in ascent.

“I accept.”

Chapter Text

Harry had not asked Death for details before agreeing, Death always shared what they deemed they should and not a word more. Death did not speak.

Feeling the streak of recklessness and impulsivity from his mortal days run through him at his decision, he was startled to hear a great snort come from within the hood of death.

“Yes.” Death droned with something akin to amusement. “You ought to fit in nicely.”

Harry wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“To the next great adventure” Harry said, and found himself struck by an odd sense of nostalgia as Death once again extended its hand towards Harry, and he took it.

“Until we meet again.”

Deaths parting words were warbled strangely and barely legible through the chaos of color and sound that had erupted around him the moment they touched.

Then there was a third hand. He could not see it, but he heard its shape and tasted its color. The hand was in his hand, and it pulled him down, down, down.

An island appeared in the chaos, except it wasn’t an island, couldn’t be. It embraced him and he felt himself becoming slick with blood and death, there was no time to ponder the horrendous feeling before he knew no more.

-

Far below the ruins of Uzusiogakure, what was once Harry Potter started to form a new being.

The winds around the island once again picked up in strength as a very potent mixture of chakra and magic driven by the wroth of a grieving raging spirit poured in to its seals.

Fresh screams rent the air as the whirlpools of old became clashing vicious maelstroms -ripping the lingering ships to so much driftwood, bolts of lightning combined with the deluge of rain to slay the invaders now attempting to loot the wreckage and dead bodies.

An unnatural fog descended as the old barriers flickered back to life on the ocean shutting out any newcomers and trapping those still inside with the electrical storm.

When silence descended at last, every invader present was dead and there was no more to be done. Their bodies would rot. It was time to rest.

-

The slumber was a long one.

Harry dreamed of his people, scattered to the winds and desperately trying to survive. Hunted. He dreamt of giant beasts, ninja and something akin to magic, of war, death and hope. He dreamed of a small blonde boy in rags, crying, surrounded by people yet all alone.

As time passed nature reclaimed the beaches and crept up to the city, once in a while someone would attempt entry but none made it through.

The maelstroms were vicious, the fog barrier was thick and seemingly impenetrable but even more dangerous was the urge that overcame anyone who approached. Each time, the person or persons would remember something they urgently had to do, and more often than not they would fall prey to the angry ocean in their confusion and haste to leave.

The sun rose and set around the island, and every day was the same as the one before until it wasn’t. One evening, a single pulse like a heartbeat rolled out from the island of Uzushio. It rippled across the ocean disturbing the shores of its neighboring nations.

Harry woke with a start and a gasp. “Merlins pants..” He groaned and wheezed.

Sitting up was like moving in molasses and his eyes stung as he opened them to blink blearily. Wait, WAS he sitting in molasses? He sure was wet. And naked.

Wherever he was it was dark and damp with an earthy smell. Was this some kind of underground room? A cellar perhaps?

The only source of light was some kind of large intricate pattern based on a wall on the opposite side of the room.

‘Rune?’ Thought Harry. ‘No, not all the way wrong but not quite right either.’

‘Seals’ an echo in his mind supplied.

Perhaps he should have tried to wheedle some details out of Death after all. While he felt fully in control of his own faculties, there was no doubt in his mind that a merging of some sort had taken place.

There were too many memories for one, and the strangest sensation that made him unsure whether or not he had actual fragments of living people inside of him.

He felt like his whole being was full of little blips, it was simultaneously disturbing and comforting.

Harry rubbed his temples and tried to will his headache to go away. His head felt full to bursting with memories that weren’t his own. Except that they were. This was all so confusing.

His fingers caught on something near his temple.

Hair..?

It was hair, and there was a lot of it. It too was wet and it weighed him down like a wet bloody mane.

“Bloody hell..” Harry whispered to himself and shifted his considerable amount of hair to the backside of his shoulders where he tried to contain it by twining a long strand around the rest of it. He was only partially successful.

After getting his bearings a bit, Harry stood up on shaky legs and started exploring the small space he was in. There was a floor of sorts, it was rather lumpy, and having felt around the walls he could now say with relative certainty that he was in some kind of cave.

Following a tail of the large glowing seal with his hands he reached the main body of it and what seemed to be the door. He was relatively certain of this fact even though he wasn’t sure why that was.

This was the first seal he had ever laid his eyes on, after all.

Harry traced the lines of it gingerly, it was a blood based barrier seal.

Images from his journey in to the cave where he and Albus Dumbledore had once searched for Horocruxes flashed before his minds eye. Given what he had seen during his slumber, it would be too much to hope for pleasant things upon his exit.

Well, he thought bitterly, at least he wouldn’t be met with inferi. Although.. There had apparently been research of that kind done by some individual in this place.

An image of Senju Tobirama floated to the front of his mind.

Harrys shudder had nothing to do with the cold.

Sighing loudly and wondering about the morals of shinobi Harry continued on with his exploration.

In stepping on it, Harry discovered that there was, most conveniently, a blade on the ground by the door. Harry swore loudly causing the echo to bounce eerily around the cave, he lifted his leg and transferred blood from his poor foot to a hand and smeared it on the seal.

The door opened with an almighty crack, and Harry shielded his eyes against the bright light of dawn while stepping outside.

He came out to what he might have called a city square. Once upon a time it had been full of life and energy, wagons being pulled this way and that, stands with colorful displays, smiling vendors and customers.

The sight that met him now was something he would never forget. Breath caught in his chest and he felt his knees his the pavement.

He had seen this exact scene before, a long time ago. It felt almost like a half recalled nightmare.

The bare skeletons of now had been fleshy and bloody back then, the moss covered ground had been orange and white marble paving interspersed with red. Red red red.

Water ran from his eyes and he sobbed as he observed the rag covered remains of kin and foe strewn in every direction as far as the eye could see.

His loved ones would not remain here in this sorry state, he would see to that.

He did not bother wiping his face as he started his trek towards the center of the ruin, leaving a trail of grief and turbulence in his wake.

Walking on, he passed the rubble of familiar residential housing, what used to be the academy and the completely flattened armory. He saw the pile of stone that had once been the Kage tower, well.. That wasn’t going to work.

Harry frowned and made his way a few buildings over to where he hoped a possible entryway might still be.

Digging through the rubble was hard work but Harry was a man on a mission and paid little mind to the discomforts of this body. Pulling away an old rug with bits of wood on it his target was revealed.

“Oh thank Merlin.”

Harry took some blood from his still bleeding foot, unsealed and opened the hatch at his feet. Down the stairs and up the corridor he went, until he reached the spare armory underneath the Kage tower.

The place was well stocked but in shambles, people had clearly scrambled to get ready for battle here too. A few had never made it out and Harry thanked his lucky stars for the passage of time.

Rows upon rows of weapons hung on the walls and stood in stands, Harry continued further in to get to the section where armor was kept –Though he couldn’t help but eye a few of the blades.

Standing in front of the massive selection of cloth and miscellaneous items, Harry also found himself face to face with mirrors.

Harry studied his hands and arms, for a guy who had seemingly been asleep for more than a decade he sure looked fit.

He impatiently brushed away the long curtain of hair currently hanging every which way as his feeble attempt at controlling it had long since failed. It was still as unruly as it ever had been in the wizarding world, except now it was also 30 inches long and fire hydrant red.

Harry looked down next to see if the rest of him was as toned as his arms, only to see a well muscled relatively flat-but-not-quite flat chest and nothing but curls further below.

Well, that was alright.

He wouldn’t have minded either way, but she would miss the practicality of standing while peeing without making a mess. Hm.

She had referred to herself as a he for all of her existence so far but had been something completely different for god knew how long, and whatever her biology was at the moment, he still felt distinctly.. Other. New pronouns might have been a challenge if she cared, it would come with time, probably.
-

After a thorough search of the premises Harry had laid out a wide selection of.. Clothing. Probably. Browsing the familiar yet unfamiliar garments and pieces of armor, he thought that he missed his wizards robes something terrible.

“Well.” He sighed to himself. “Suppose I had better hop to it.”

His eyes fell on a sort of long hangy black thing with a large red swirl on the bottom. Was it some kind of.. Loincloth? No. Maybe? It had a mon. His mon.

Holding it up he saw that it was attached to a turquoise harness-y thing with shoulder pads.. Pauldrons? Which were also turquoise.

Looking around once more he spotted a sort of wide skirt-y pants thing in the same color with patterns of waves on the one side. He put on the pants, a dark grey turtleneck and a sleeveless black kimono top, then he put the turquoise harness on and finished the whole outfit off with a black leather belt and open toed knee high boots.

Clothed at last, he sneezed as a lock of hair tickled his nose. He would have to tame this mass of unruly redness.

Spotting a manual clipper and a leather strap he set out to do just that. He really hoped it wouldn’t grow right back out the way his hair had done in the wizarding world.

“Wow..” Breathed Harry as he checked his reflection in the mirror. He looked rather fetching if he did say so himself. Turning sideways he scrutinized his work, he had given himself an undercut and had put the rest of the hair in a rough braid – some of it still stuck out of course. As an afterthought, he had grabbed a long black earring, shaped like a bolt of lightning.

He swallowed at the sight of it and the memories it brought back, good and bad. Yes. This would do nicely.

“Harry.” He wrinkled his nose, hmm-no, that wasn’t going to work was it. “Hari.” He tried, and supposed that sounded alright.

Running his hands down his clothes his eyes settled on the red spiral.

“Uzumaki..” He mumbled.

‘Uzukage’ whispered a voice in the back of his head.

A dry laugh left him as Dumbledores words from eons ago floated to the forefront of his brain 'It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.'

“We’ll just see what to do about that now won’t we.” He said to no one, not overly excited about this notion. It was no use hoping that this was going to be smooth sailing, his memories and dreams were proof of that. Visions of blood flowing through his streets flashed before his eyes.

“Suck it up, Harry.” He told his reflection sternly, clapping his cheeks. “You have things to do, people to find. You should at least fix up dinner before freaking out.”

As if on cue, her stomach gave a loud rumble.

Harry grabbed a dusty bedroll, some dry rations and left the armory and its skeletons for now. It would be a night under the stars for him tonight.

Chapter Text

The next day Harry set about the laborious and very painful task of gathering the remains of his loved ones. It was true that he could have attempted to summon the bones by magic, but this way felt right.

Each pile of former person he gathered in his shawl was treated with the utmost care, and though the tingles in his chest still felt strange he now felt an acute emptiness for each person missing. Some he was able to recognise from their weapons, jewellery or other items, those were the hardest runs.

He wasn’t sure how long it took, he slept and ate and he grieved as he carried all the remains to the central beach.

Remains with enemy garb or gear were unceremoniously tossed in to the ocean from the furthermost pier where the currents would take them away.

For the rest, he had assembled tinder and firewood and he placed each bone on top while laying things that felt special or seemed useful to the side.

Once having finished making the pyre, Harry was faced with having to set it on fire and it was another confusing moment. Old Harry had wanted to bury them, new Harry – Hari, had memories of other customs and rituals.

With shaking hands, he took a beautifully carved wooden kogai from the collection of items. It was not a wizards wand but it would have to do, Mr. Ollivander had once told him that if he was any kind of wizard he would be able to channel his magic through almost any instrument.

In theory he could have tried to do this without a wand, but it wasn’t something he had excelled at in his former life and this seemed a bad time for experiments.

“Incendio.” Harry gave the kogai a flick and flames erupted. They were much smaller than what he would have produced with a true wand, but the tinder and wood were dry and soon the whole thing was ablaze.

Harry felt something lift in his heart watching the burning. It reminded him of phoenix-fire and rebirth and he let that thought sit with him through the rest of the burning.

When there was nothing left but ashes, Harry set about pondering the issues at hand, and there were a great many of them.

The most pressing issue being that he was a wizard without a real wand with limited supplies.

The second most pressing being that he was a wizard without a real wand in a world full of overpowered shinobi.

“Drat.” Harry said to thin air and the little blue and black banded snake that had at some point started following him around the island.

He was safe behind the barriers, yes, but though he could theoretically make a smaller barrier and walk around with it surrounding his person this had obvious drawbacks. No. He would need a proper tool.

Harry was no wand maker, what he was though was a rune master, and now too a person with oceans of theoretical knowledge on seals. Making his magic and chakra flow easier through an object should be within his skill set.

-

Trying to think of magical items that might be of use was interesting, this world had neither dragons, phoenixes, unicorns or veela. He had gone through the items he had though and set to doing what he could.

He carved never before seen mixtures of seals and runes in to kodai, rings and strange stones which he knew to be ‘chakra conductive’ and filled the grooves with bloodied ink. Feathers, claws and teeth from what were obviously this worlds version of magical creatures -‘summons’- were kept for later experimentation.

Wondering if they might work for focusing his powers just as well, he thought about inking his index and middle fingers. Hm, maybe later when he had the practical aspect of seals down too.

--

After a number of trials and errors – some of which exploded or set things on fire when he tried to use them – he was left with a handful of items that he felt comfortable using.

“Reparo.” He said sternly while waving his ringed left hand at the closest building, to his satisfaction it started sluggishly repairing itself and he pointed the ‘wand’ in his right hand to some broken pipes he could see next.

Harry had no ambition of rebuilding the city all by his lonesome, but there was a need to practice skills he sort of knew but had never tried as well as making some parts of the island habitable.

“No time like the present.” He said to no one, sticking leaves on his person to be kept there while he waved his wand working on with the reparations.

----

Harrys first trip outside of the barriers was to be relatively uneventful.

Feeling distinctly restless and wanting to explore his surroundings, he had laced his clothing in protective seals and hung a heavily carved chakra-stone from his long braid.

He was also armed, and it felt good. Hari wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had been feeling off-kilter since his rebirth, what with the trauma, the feeling of helplessness, the bottomless grief and gnawing desperation.

Hari remembered now that she had fought against voldemort, had been an auror, had been equal to death then undead, not to mention her history in Uzushio.

“See you soon.” He chirped at his little snake friend, twisted on the spot and appeared to the highest mountain peak on the island.

From there he apparated to make great leaps of distance, landing himself in a small fishing town where he intended to purchase supplies with some of the coin he had found. He ignored the stares and whispers that followed him as he took in his surroundings with great interest, he was no stranger to that kind of stuff.

Smiling benevolently at gaping locals, Hari followed the small trickle of people down the broadest street and veered off when he saw the sign indicating the local shop. Food he could do, he could even transfigure leaves in to toiletpaper, but soap or shampoo for instance was a bit harder to pull off.

Pleased with her purchases Hari ventured back out to explore the rest of this little settlement.

This was a place with much hardship there was no doubt about that, they had plenty of fish but other wares were in short supply, the buildings looked worn, and the children.. There were street rats on every corner, they were too thin and too raggedy-looking compared to the rest of the populace to be anything but orphans.

Harry wondered what had happened since the destruction of Uzushio, last he knew the surrounding areas were simple but they weren’t this bad off even though there was an ongoing war.

Deciding to do some good before he left he purchased an extra large basket, an apple, a carrot, some rice and a large sack. Finding the lair of the orphans was not hard, broken down shacks which they clearly tried to mend as best they could, firepits and wary children of all sizes.

Putting the basket down, Harry held his ringed hands over the items and muttered “Geminio.”

The children goggled at the food in the basket as it multiplied again and again until apples spilled over the edge. Eager hands rescued them at once, and when Hari only smiled at them more came forward to timidly claim some.

Once everyone had some and the basket was full again, Hari moved on to replicate the rice and even some fish which some child or other had caught.

Returning to Uzushio that day Harry felt good.

--

On Harrys second venture outside of the barriers, he had found a dying pre-teen boy on one of the small islands littering the coastline.

“Well, I definitely haven’t lost my ‘saving people’ thing from before” He hissed as he frantically tried to draw stasis seals on the boy who seemed to be turning in to watery sludge.

“What on earth did you do to yourself?! Argh this is no good! Finite!”

To his astonishment, the general counter spell worked and the boy solidified.

“Huh." Harry panted. "Well that’s.. Good.” Swinging his head around and looking pointedly at a nearby bush he said- “Come on out now.”

The bush rustled, and a small boy who looked so much like the first one that they had to be brothers, came out.

“Hi.” Said Harry.

The little boy didn’t speak, but his fearful eyes darted between Hari and the unconscious boy.

He couldn’t be older than 3 or 4 Harry thought, what was a toddler and a tween doing here by themselves?

“I'm Hari, where are your parents?” He tried again.

The boy frowned and shook his head in a negative but still said nothing.

“I see.” Said Harry. Two lone children, one injured and one practically a baby. They weren’t his, but the thought of leaving them out here to the elements all by themselves made his stomach twist.

“I’m going to take this one.” He patted the older boy. “Home with me so he can rest and hopefully heal, will you come?”

Hoisting the unconscious one over a shoulder, he held out his hand demonstratively to the little one. After a few moments of consideration, eyes still darting to and from his brother, he took Harrys hand. Harry spun on the spot and with a loud crack the trio disappeared to Uzushio to set up an impromptu sickbay.

-

Harry spent the next few weeks making more trips to the mainland where he helped out locals, listened to rumours and liberated stolen Uzu goods. His time on the island was spent reading pilfered scrolls, training, experimenting with seals and runes and watching a very active toddler.

The twelve year old whos name was Mangetsu had come around a day after he was brought to the island, but he was in bad shape and his four year old brother Suigetsu was a boisterous child once he warmed up to his surroundings.

Thanking his lucky stars for the clone magic of this world, Hari stuck her nose back in to her scroll while the other her chased after the brat.

-

Hari had been fixing some waterworks one evening when a wholly unpleasant feeling like doom knocking flew at her from her connection to the barrier.

Someone had come.

Mangetsu who it turned out was in fact a fully trained mini-shinobi noticed her attention straying at once.

“What is it?” He asked.

“We have guests it would seem.” Hari replied with a calm she did not feel. “You stay here with your brother, I’m not sure who they are but they won’t be small-fish to have made it across all the way to the barrier.”

Feeling queazy and noting with some degree of annoyance that a now heavily armed Mangetsu had NOT stayed behind, Hari made her way to the beach and then took to the water. Arriving at the barrier, she put her hand to it and willed it to allow for exit.

A small group of people met them on the other side.

“Hello.” Said a small man with a flowery wand, presumably the leader as he was the frontmost figure. Hari felt her back straighten as Mangetsu besides her fell in to a battle-stance.

“Hello.” Echoed Harry. “How can I help you?”

“Are you the one they call Ryūjin?” The stranger questioned.

Ryujin -God of the sea someone had said. Harry had introduced herself as Hari of course, but somehow it had stuck.

“Yes.” She said. “Uzumaki Hari, nice to meet you.”

The man smiled and Harry froze, overcome with equal parts rage and fear as familiar red chakra leaked out of the visitor.

Flashbacks of a bulky three tailed beast demolishing the entire eastern sector of Uzusiogakure as well as its inhabitants flew across his vision. All notions of rational thought left her and she pointed everything she had, wand trinkets magic and chakra -at this great threat and roared.

“AVVADA KEDAVRA!!”

The massive green blaze that went through the body lit up the night sky. The outline of not one but two souls leaving the body of the immediately dead Mizukage had men and women of all colors (including blue and fuchsia, to Harrys great surprise) scattering, then fleeing from the scene helped along by indiscriminately fired hexes from an irate Hari as well as kunai and water jutsu from Mangetsu.

In a very short time the strangers were dead or gone and Hari apparated with Mangetsu in tow back to Uzushio. They were both shaking and out of breath, Mangetsu because he was still not well off and Hari because of adrenaline, regret at having used such a terrible curse without thought and what she speculated might be ptsd.

Hari couldn’t believe she had lost control like that. She should.. Probably see someone about that at some point in time.
---

Chapter Text

Whispers about the death of the Mizukage spread like wildfire and so too did rumors of the God of the sea, The wraith of Uzushio, The tyrants bane and a whole other host of names.

Hari wasn’t much bothered by this, though it did feel oddly similar to her former life. Staying hidden or silent had never been amongst her talents either she mused.

Mangetsu had marveled at Haris apparition, he compared it to the skill of someone called 'the yellow flash' and had wondered aloud if there was any relation as he had heard his wife had been an Uzumaki.

Uzumaki.. She couldn’t help but wonder too.

Hari rubbed her chest where it felt like some of the little candle-like blips were acting up, none had faded since she “woke” but the urge to try to seek them out had been getting stronger by the hour.

She wondered where they all were, she wasn’t sure either exactly who these blips in her chest belonged to but there should have been more.

She supposed much could have happened between her ‘death’ and her resurrection, though surely some of her people must have reproduced? They wouldn’t be all Uzumaki either, there had been many clans on his island after all.

‘Hmm’ She thought. Perhaps she couldn’t feel the rest so keenly because they had not personally added chakra to her seals?

Something to rectify later on.

“Hari-san?” The squeaky voice of Suigetsu sounded through his thought-fog but it did not succeed in breaking it.

Hari had been deeply disturbed by his encounter and subsequent cursing of what he had since learnt had been the Mizukage and.. Isobu.

The tailed beasts.

Uzushio knew what they were and so did she, it had just been so difficult to think at the time and she hadn’t realized until she had already sent its soul to the claws of Death.

..How it was even possible for it to have a soul in the first place Hari had no idea, it had come from a tree for heavens sake. But, life as well as death worked in mysterious ways.

Heaving a great sigh she thought that Hashirama had been a real fool, and so was Mito for going along with the hare-brained plans of sealing. Hari remembered and understood that they thought they had no choice in the face of Madaras deeds and in wanting peace, but their doings had certainly backfired spectacularly.

“Ouch.” Hissed Hari at the hard poke to her arm. “Oh, sorry Suigetsu.”

The little boy grinned with all his tiny pointy teeth, pulling the straps of his backpack to tighten them further.

No matter his battle prowess or how much Mangetsu insisted that he was an adult by shinobi law, Hari could not in good conscience leave the two boys by themselves and so took them with him on her outings.

They would go on foot but also apparate some to cover ground as they went. -Sometimes going for supply runs and to help the local street rats, but more often than not following the vague stirrings in Haris chest trying to find clues about any refugees whereabouts. Thus far their luck had been so-so, with no actual finds but a lot of rumors.

There was also an interesting amount of people approaching him on these outings, alluding to the possibility of relocating to Uzushio.

Hari was loathe to admit it, but she held a deep mistrust to any that she did not deem hers.

Uzushio herself had been fiercely protective and generally wary of outsiders and SOMEONE had betrayed them. Had sold them out, spilled the secrets of her defenses.

There was no other way the invaders could have gotten so far in before the alert was sounded, though the whos and the hows escaped her.

She felt her fingers twitch at this thought, the need to get back to the island and draw up more new seals was now in hot competition with her want for continuing todays excursion. Giving in to her compulsions while also vowing to work on her trust issues, she and the boys set a course for home.

-

They were nearing the island when it happened.

Suigetsu made a sound of distress as Hari staggered and clutched at her chest, Mangetsu was immediately on the alert looking for hostiles in the horizon.

“No, no no no no.” Wheezed Hari as she grabbed both boys by whatever limbs she reached first and pulled them to Uzushio in a swirl of air.

“Stay here!” She yelled distractedly after they had landed in a heap on the beach. Lashing out wildly with her chakra trying to sense wherewherewhere this person was, a thread of her chakra surrounded the fragile link. She spun on the spot and pulled.

Apperating in to a dingy white room with an almighty crack, her wand outstretched, Hari straightened her back and took stock of her surroundings.

A red haired woman was sprawled out on a mattress and a weeping girl cowered in the corner, two grown men had their teeth in the womans arms and a third one seemed to be considering going for the girl.

Hari could almost see the lifeforce transfer. A cold that was not there seeped down to her bones, she didn’t have issues with vampires per say -had even met a few. It was true too that war made people do terrible things but this woman was not a shinobi.

And she was one of his. She had managed to flee, out of the fire and in to the frying pan.

Leaping in to action Hari blasted the wretched men away from their victims, the girl scrabbled from her corner and tried to rouse the woman with soft cries of “Mama.”

This was fuel to Haris fire and kunai bounced off of her protective barrier as she swung her wand in wide circles and strode straight for them.

Her string of blue stunners caught in sudden swirls of wind and shinobi crumpled in all directions, leaving none by time she reached the redheads.

“Enervate” Muttered Hari, and the womans eyes fluttered open on a silent gasp. Hari was expecting fear, but the woman simply looked resigned to her fate.

It was truly a sorry sight.

“Lady, can you hear me?” Hari said around the painful lump in her throat, and patted the redheads left cheek lightly to try and get her to focus.

“Who- You- You’re.. “ Stretching out a trembling hand, the redhead grabbed hold of Haris apron which carried the vivid red Uzushio swirl.

“You’ve come for us?” She whispered brokenly.

“Yes.” Hari choked out. “I’ve come to take you home.”

The unknown woman who was family grabbed her daughter and started weeping silently, her grip on Haris cloth white-knuckled.

One shinobi stirred and Hari knew it was time to withdraw or fight. She felt her lips pull back baring her teeth, the grown woman was injured and needed to get to safety, and she reminded herself too that this useless city probably held a whole host of innocent people.

Pulling the redheads to their feet Hari held them both close as lightbulbs in the room exploded, the decision was an easy one after all but she was not happy.

Turning on the spot the trio was gone in a swirl of colors and sound.

----

Locating survivors became much easier after that, though Hari made sure to try surveying the general area first when possible -barring emergencies- after he was nearly eaten by a giant poisonous salamander.

That particular Uzumaki was not inclined to go with him, apparently having his own country to rule with two of his friends. She had arrived in time to help them out of a right pickle, and they parted on good terms with words of a possible alliance.

Hari felt deeply uneasy at the thought, but could reluctantly admit that alliances were.. Good. Ish. Maybe.

All three of them seemed very young for such responsibilities, but then again Mangetsu had claimed adulthood at the tender age of 8 when he had graduated from the ninja-academy in Kirigakure. And she herself had been, what.. 17 when she fought Voldemort to save the world from the evil git?

Hmh.

Thinking yet again about the harsh realities of the world, Hari left the rainy city and apparated to Uzushio to see about possibly adding a few new layers to her defenses.

Chapter Text

The first time Hari received a weapon through her chest.. Well, it was a bit of a nasty shock really. Especially as the runes on her clothes usually kept her body well protected.

She had been minding her own business when two people had ran at her from opposite directions and one of them had rammed a three-bladed scythe (Oh the irony!) through her back and out her chest.

“Merlins pants!” Hari gargled as her words brought frothy blood to her mouth. She couldn’t see Death anywhere but she could practically feel their exasperation and.. Something that might have been amusement? Bollocks!

In her old-life days she had endured all sorts of physical ailments, but the years and years after she went with death had been virtually pain-free.

With a nasty kind of squelching sucking sound the perpetrator pulled his weapon out of her chest and went to attack the other unknown person.

Hari watched with one eye as they clashed while simultaneously attempting to stem the flow of blood from her person using first aid charms. Black spots appeared in her vision as she looked down to the puddle of blood she had made.

“No. Load of old tosh pull yourself together Harry this is not how it ends.” She hissed furiously at herself, batting at what felt like a mass of worms in her wound. She staggered and then.. Stood firmly. Huh?

After a moment of confusion, Hari examined the bottom-most hole in her robes and watched with no small amount of queasiness as her flesh knitted itself together.

“The fuck?!”

The loud yell pulled Hari out of her daze, her confusion turned temper and she spun around drawing her wand to face the perpetrator who was now the only combatant still standing.

It was a man with grey hair and purple eyes, he was wearing pants, a fur-lined jacket and –Was that the sign of the deathly hallows around his neck?!

Hari pointed her wand at him accusingly.

“Did you just put a bloody scythe in me?! Who are you and how do you know about the hallows?!”

Indicating the necklace with his wand made the man bristle.

“Fuck you talking about, hallows?! This is the symbol of the great Jashin so show some fucking respect you filthy fucking heathen!”

The man hefted his bloody scythe over his shoulder and went on a tirade about pain and sacrifice, then he licked (?!) Haris blood off of one of the three blades and his skin turned black with white skeletal-like markings.

“That’s. Disgusting.” Hari said while creating some distance between them. He was drawing a symbol on the ground in his own blood now. This man, there was something seriously wrong with him.

This was further confirmed when the absolute lunatic pulled a long spike from inside his jacket and stabbed himself through the gut.

“Hyaaaa! Jashin! Shared pain is the ultimate- Huh?! Why aren’t you bleeding and screaming?!” He said this with great indignation, as though Hari was in the wrong for not bleeding and screaming.

He then proceeded to stab himself in the chest, again taking insult when Hari did not bleed or scream, and then. Only Haris hardening over the years made her keep looking as the man slit his own throat and crumpled to the ground.

Hari let herself stand and watch the bloodied corpse for a few seconds, shock. Then she shook herself.

“What in the name of- WHY would anyone –Eugh!” Hari stopped talking to the obviously dead person and reached down to examine his necklace. The bloodied hand that grabbed his wrist put an abrupt end to that.

What followed was a short and vicious battle where they both tried their best to kill one another, without any success what-so-ever. The Imperio curse hadn’t phased him at all and each time life and or soul had left his body he simply bounced back after a minute or so. Hari too should have been dead many times over.

“Halt!” Haris yell boomed through the clearing with the help of a hastily performed sonorus spell. To her delight, Hidan froze.

“This is completely pointless. Obviously we have something in common here.” Hari gestured again to the necklace depicting the deathly hallows. “I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, why don’t we start over? Introductions?”

The blonde hesitated a bit, then jutted his chin out and proclaimed.

“Hidan, proud servant of the great Jashin.”

“Uzumaki Hari, master of Death.” She held out her hand to shake his, but he only stared.

“You.. What?” Hidan frowned, he crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes while thinking. It looked like hard work. He started mumbling and nodded to himself a few times as though speaking to someone, it was rather creepy and made the hairs on Haris arms stand on end.

When the blonde bloke opened his eyes again it was to fix Hari with a look full of determination.

“So, I suppose technically that makes you my superior.”

“I.. Yes?”

Hari really had no clue, but this easy acceptance from the other man was very convenient. She didn’t much fancy receiving deathly injuries thanks very much, and what would have happened if she’d somehow lost limbs? Best not look a gifthorse in the mouth and use this opening to the fullest.

“So, uh. Care to join me for supper?”

Hari wanted to smack her own face the moment these words left her, talk about strange. She hadn’t any reason to worry though, because Hidan seemed to have decided that all was well and right.

“Yeah, I’m starvin. Some bitches ruined my dinner yesterday and I haven’t come across any game since. Whacha cookin?”

----

Her “guest” was most intrigued with the way she retrieved food-stuffs and transfigured it with her wand. The praise and relish as he ate the stew she had whisked up had a blush creeping up her neck. This person could have been a television priest in her earlier life with the way these words just kept flooding out of his mouth.

Hari was surprised to find that behind the bluster, the worshipping and the obscenities, Hidan was normally intelligent and actually not completely unreasonable. Though he maintained that the man was more than a little crazy, he supposed prolonged exposure to a bloodthirsty kami that valued suffering might do that to a person.

Really, Hari thought as she listened to the others rambling about Jashin - She had been quite lucky that Death was her reaper.

Hidan insisted that he had to do his Gods bidding –Slaughter people and share in the suffering. According to him this was the only way for people to truly understand each other. Hari agreed that it was important to understand each others suffering, but she rather thought he had the wrong idea going about it this way. With Hidans apparent love of massacres, she didn’t dare do more than ask a few critical questions. When the man looked thoughtful she counted it as a win.

After their meal, they both went their separate ways wishing each other the best of luck. Hari was fascinated with Hidan and their kind-of-connection, but there was no way she was exposing any of her kin to this person willingly.

What had this absolute whackjob been doing here anyway?

Hari shook her head and steered her thought towards her goal – finding more of her people, finding the blonde boy, the child of prophecy. She had assembled quite the crowd now, not all Uzumaki either. An entire island full of one clan? Yeah no.

Walking on she smiled fondly at the images that floated to the forefront of her mind, children laughing, grown ups discussing plans, seals and recipes, the few shinobi sparring.

The fires in her chest fluttered pleasantly. It had taken some getting used to – and having these connections sure was a double-edged blade because people died after all. Some sooner some later.

She didn’t mind death much being that she knew death -but the process of dying, fear or pain faintly felt in her chest. Eugh. She could weather it but it bloody sucked.

The trees were getting taller and thicker around her, that laughing fool with long dark hair and old-fashioned armor came to mind. Yes, this was definitely his handiwork.
Having had her fill of action for the day she had applied a disillusionment charm. It probably wouldn’t fool everyone but she would climb that hurdle if it found her.

Chapter Text

Great wooden gates and a wall could be seen in the distance, and the closer Hari got the more the niggling unpleasant feeling that had appeared thirty minutes prior intensified.

It was like a faint itch in her teeth, a prickly feeling that hit her from several directions. There were Uzu people in this village, yes, but there was something else as well. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was vaguely familiar somehow.

Hum. Well she was going in regardless, she would figure it out.

---

Getting past the gate was easy as breathing, the guards were on low alert (a little too lax in Haris opinion) and a little confundus spell had them registering her in before forgetting all about her entering. She knew of course of the old alliance between Konoha and Uzushio, and would not want to be caught “sneaking in” but who knew if it would still be honored and if it was.. Well, she wasn’t here to meet with stuffy old people of power.

Thinking of the time when they would check their records for the day brought forth a quiet snicker, she hoped they would receive no more than a slap on the wrist for their oversight.

Peering around interestedly as she walked she took in the city, it was quite nice looking. Greenery and life everywhere. A lot different from Iwagakure and Kirigakure, not to mention the poor villages littering the lands closest to Uzushio. The people looked reasonably well fed and clothed and Hari offered them greetings as she went on her way, stopping on occasion to browse wares or conjure up conch shells and flowers for playing children.

Long looks and whispers followed her path.

Arriving at a large road lined with stands and stalls Hari pondered where to head next. There were several people in her vicinity that she would want check on, but the large crowds was beginning to be a problem. She wasn’t hiding per say, but she had garnered rather a lot of attention coming here and it had proven to be impractical while she was searching.

Heaving a sigh she leaned more heavily on the wall to her left. The little notice-me-not charm she had cast made her blend in with her surroundings but it wasn’t much good when people kept bumping in to her. No, she would just have to wait for people to finish their shopping so the crowds would thin just a bit.

Picking at her nails -a bad habit from her past life, she dimly registered a commotion breaking out down the road. Her interest was piqued further when uniformed men turned up, they looked nothing like any kind of police she ever saw.

She squinted, for a moment she thought they wore embroideries of muggle pokéballs on their shirts, but no, she could see red and white fans. And they were most definitely some sort of police.

What she saw next made dread stir in her, as the male officer took in the people gathered around the scene his irises shone a vivid red.

Hari had all of two seconds to wonder at any possible relation to Voldemort before she became aware that there was eye-contact between them. The officer blinked slowly, something that might have been recognition happening, hm, troublesome.

Hari let her gaze linger and a small assertive smile bloom before turning and disappearing down the alleyway in a swirl of blue robes and red hair.

What she though then would be the biggest shock of the day came as she went to buy lunch and had a close encounter with one of the people who made her teeth itch. (Later she'd lament that the event only came in at second place.)

“One bowl of pork ramen please.”

“Coming right up!” Answered the grandfatherly-looking chef, and a few minutes later she had a heavenly smelling dish right in front of her.

She had just dug in when one of the “shades of discomfort” as she had dubbed them, didn’t flit by as all the others had. No. It approached. And then it slid in to the seat next to her.

Hari turned to look, and saw a snake-man ordering a bowl of noodles. Well no. It was certainly a man-man, but with a pale narrow face, snake-like eyes and long hair like black silk. The chef seemed disconcerted by his presence, fearful almost, but accepted the order none the less. Hari stopped chewing at the strange sense of familiarity coupled with confusion, she was staring. So was he.

“Yess? Can I help you with something?”

Hari wondered if the person had spoken parseltongue, or if this slight drawing out of the s’ was a human speech-tick of his.

The stranger opened his mouth to eat and Hari caught a glimpse of something that positively put her hair on end.

“There..” Haris mouth was dry, her throat was dry, she swallowed around nothing and tried again. “There is a horcrux-” Seal, soul, will. her mind supplied. “On the back of your tongue.”

The stranger slurped his noodles and didn't outwardly react to this, not surprising considering this was a different world and.. Horcruxes probably weren’t a thing as there was no magic. Even so Hari could tell he was interested.

“What, is a harukrukss?” Asked the stranger, stumbling on the word slightly.

“A Horcrux.” Hari answered cautiously. “Is a thing in which the maker has concealed a part of their soul, the thing in your case being a seal.”

The stranger grimaced at the word soul.

“May I see it?”

Hari surprised herself in asking, but was even more surprised when he complied and stuck out- Whoa that was an unnaturally long tongue! Judging by the others expression he too was surprised.

Shaking herself mentally she leaned in, at least with the length of the appendage she wouldn’t need to do anything like touch it or try to pull it out further to get a good view.

“It is a terrible thing.” Hari muttered under her breath as she followed the lines within lines with her eyes. “It violates nature –The natural flow of the lifeforce, and it corrupts and erodes the mind.”

The stranger didn’t move save for breathing.

“Over time.” Hari continued. “The will of the maker will seep in and it will affect your thoughts and your actions..”

Hari had pulled out a brush and parchment and was taking notes and making scribbles, full focus on the seal. And so, missed the absolute terror that was taking over the strangers face bit by bit the more Hari talked.

“This is a nasty, nasty horcrux-seal hybrid. Left on its own long enough it might drive the holder completely out of their mind- Uh?” Hari blinked at thin air. The stranger had wrenched himself from her as though burnt.

“Ah, my bad.” Hari held her hands up placatingly, brush and all. For all the good that it did. The stranger was already leaping across the rooftops in the distance.

The owner of the establishment made tutting sounds as he cleared away the hardly touched bowl of abandoned noodles and told Hari that he hoped her appetite wasn’t ruined.

If she was being honest she wasn’t feeling very good, not very good at all. But it had less to do with the snake and more to do with the fact that even with this one far from her she could still feel a dozen odd of the abominations on separate holders moving in the vicinity.

What in Gilderoys name had happened here?! This was supposed to be the nice village!

Hari left the food stand with a bad feeling in her gut despite the sunny weather and the blooming potential to find family.

Chapter Text

Hiruzen viewed his only remaining student with puzzlement, the man was panting slightly and appeared disheveled and flustered compared to his usual mode of operation.

Heaving a sigh at this latest event he waited for the man to start speaking as he was sure he would.

His day thus far hadn’t been great, he mused. His favorite pipe had broken this morning, a genin had puked on his best rug, the most noble and highly annoying brother of madame Shimji had requested an audience and there had been a massive influx of paperwork. Urgh, he thought as he massaged his poor temples, the paperwork was going to take forever.

He was just contemplating the pros and cons of attempting to hurry Orochimaru up when the tell-tale whoosh of a shunshin happened, and agent Crow appeared kneeling in his office.

“Report.” He said to the masked form of Uchiha Shisui. For one of his ANBU to appear unannounced it was an urgent matter, but not an emergency as no alarms had been set off.

“Hokage sama” Shisui replied. “A person matching the description of The wraith of Uzushio has been observed briefly in the shopping district.”

Hiruzen sat up straight at this, in the left-most corner of the room one of his guards stiffened.

“When? Who made the report?”

“It was Uchiha Tekka of the military police force, he would likely have missed it if not for activating his Sharingan during a nearby arrest. He reports not having seen the person before activation, and upon being noticed the person seemingly vanished.”

“I see. Anything else of note?”

The raven-haired teenager shook his head in a negative. “No sir, no further known sightings and no breeches of the outer walls have been reported. We are subtly making inquiries with the civilian population and the gate-records are being retrieved as we speak.”

“Very well.” Said Hiruzen. “Dismissed.”

With another whoosh the agent was gone.

The wraith of Uzushio.. Hiruzen steepled his fingers and rested his forehead on them. His head felt heavy with age, worries and responsibilities.

If this person was indeed an Uzumaki it might become, to use his jonin commanders words, a troublesome situation. Hiruzen knew of course that there had to be several survivors from the attack years back, but none had come yet. Well, other than civilians at least.

Uzushio had been allies and technically still were, on the other hand this person was a wild-card -and a supposedly S-Ranked flee-on-sight one at that. And then there was Naruto.

Hiruzen was the longest reigning hokage and despite concerns from some parties, was not unintelligent nor senile.

The way things had gone since the death of Minato and Kushina, the situation with their son.

A vivid image of Kushina in a towering temper flew to the forefront of his mind. No doubt he would have been flayed to within an inch of his life if they knew the things they had done. Not to mention the things they hadn’t done.

It was a shameful thing, but Hiruzen wondered at the possibility of making this person just.. Disappear. Eyes closed and rubbing his temples again to try to will away the oncoming headache, he worried and wished his other visitor would leave because whatever it was he wanted to say surely wasn’t good either with the way he had practically busted down the door on his way in.

A deep sigh was heaved.

-

Orochimaru was stood stock still in his spot in front of Hiruzen and he was glad for the interruption that had come, it had given him time to organize his thoughts after his panicked run from Ichiraku ramen. And it was panic, he could admit that much to himself.

How long had he had it again? How long would it be before his mind was not his own? Had he already been corrupted? Orochimaru bit the inside of his cheek at this thought.

He knew his morals were questionable at times, had been told so by his wayward former teammates more than once - And since the war things had been.. Harder.

How could he even tell where his deviousness ended and Danzos possible corruption began?!

The seal.. No. He could not tell his old sensei.

His tongue tingled at the mere contemplation of it.

The silencing component of the seal was bad enough (He had tried to tell Tsunade once, and did not much fancy another trip to the emergency-room with seizures thank you and good bye) But barring that, there were other things at stake.

Taking the seal had been a price.. Or a trade he supposed, a condition to get his labs and research materials of questionable natures. Not to mention subjects in which to do said research on, prisoners at first but then.. others.

Children.

Why? How had he wound up in such a situation.

Che. He should have just up and left the hidden leaf back when it had become clear that Minato would take over the hat. Or, well, if he was honest he supposed things hadn’t really gone to hell in a handbasket until the blasted mans death.

A sharp rapp on the door as it swung open broke all occupants of the room out of their own heads.

The clack, clack, clack of Danzos cane againt the floor as he strode in was like a doomsday drum. Orochimaru had no doubt he had eyes and ears everywhere, it was likely they were here regarding the same thing.

Before the wretched old coot could open his mouth about anything, a veritable wave of malice and chakra surged through the tower and the village wide alarms started blaring.

Chapter Text

Things had started to go pear-shaped hours previous.

Hari had heard rumors that this was “the nice village” So far however, Hari would have to say that she was not at all convinced. No sir-ee.

She had approached several of her potential people to discreetly find out who they were – Mostly civilian, mind you. She wasn’t above “stealing” people so to speak, but she supposed they might take offence if she tried to make off with their shinobi unannounced.

It was their primary source of income and their defense/military after all.

She had only conversed with one other shinobi – Other than the one she had scared away from his ramen that is.

Hari hadn’t asked the man, but going by the feel of him he could be nothing but a shinobi. Of course he also wore that uniform which was a dead giveaway, but with a ragged leather vest-thing on top.

She couldn’t quite explain it, but she had felt drawn to this one as soon as she had laid eyes on him – Even though he was not one of hers. No heartstrings or anything else in her gut stirred or even so much as twitched.

“So, what are your plans for the next couple of days then? Going to see any sights?” The man drawled while bringing his cup to his lips to sip at his sake.

Answering in the vaguest terms possible while still hopefully seeming like a maybe-tourist, Hari looked her company up and down again. She was loathe to compare him to a sloth what with the dangerous glint in his eyes and the soft-core interrogation he had been employing, but he really did look like one. That level of slump couldn’t be good for anyones health.

“Mm well I thought I might go see one or more of the castles, also I am a great fan of hot springs so-”

A trickle of misery twanged through her connection, causing Hari to sit upright and put her own drink down. The man besides her looked on curiously.

“You will have to pardon me shinobi-san.” She said. “I am not feeling my best and I think I will retire to my inn. It was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” He nodded his head and there was that glint in his eyes again. “Feel better soon.” He said to her already retreating back.

Hmm. Best deploy evasive tactics with this one, Hari thought as she speed-walked down the street as inconspicuously as she knew how. Not that she necessarily thought it made any difference with the not-a-sloth.

----

Coming upon the blonde child from her dreams was a like receiving a bucket of cold water over her person even though she had been searching for him.

He was a tiny thing, tanned skin and hair a dirty blonde mess.

The blonde looked decidedly scruffy and ill cared for but his blue eyes shone like the ocean on a sunlit day, even as the merchant from whom he had been trying to purchase vegetables yelled at him to get the hell away from his stall.

..Um, what?

Hari looked on in puzzlement as the boy stuck his tongue out at the bellowing man and turned on his heel.

What really sent her mind whirring though was all the staring and sneers from seemingly random strangers that followed in the little ones wake.

One could make a case for a merchant not wishing to have someone in their shop, perhaps the child had stolen or been belligerent. This was not feasible however because..

It wasn’t just one or two people, it was everyone. The other vendors, the lady dragging her unwilling daughter alongside her, and the hostility continued down the street where none would have seen whatever it could have been that had happened at the vegetable stand.

A tomato sailed through the air and splattered by the boys feet and Hari felt her core temperature rising in temper as she let her eyes settle on the guilty party who was muttering about street rats and filthy orphans.

It was just a regular passer by as far as Hari could tell, and the blonde boy just kept walking.

With the flick of a ring tomato-man yelled as his shopping bags tipped and all his groceries mysteriously rolled into the crowded street.

How unfortunate.

Gnawing at her lip Hari continued sneaking after the child.

The strangeness about the setting and this whole situation made her hesitant to reveal herself. The general air of hostility from the public wasn’t the only issue.

No.

She was unable to see them, but she sure bloody well could feel them. Lingering nearby were one, two, three shinobi - one was branded with that horcrux-hybrid abomination. Hari gave an involuntary shiver.

Keeping herself hidden the best she could, she followed the mysterious child down another street, however. Two more guardians appeared within her sensing range, and they lingered closer to her than to her quarry.

“Oh well” Hari sighed. It was always just a matter of time, she was fairly confident that the pineapple-not-sloth wasn’t far away either.

She cast her eyes around trying to spot the hidden guards or whatever they were. What were they doing following her quarry anyway? Watching the show?

Clearly they were not the police nor any other kind of law upholders as they hadn’t lifted a single finger, were in fact hiding still. Shouldn’t some guardian or other be nearby? It was getting on in the evening.

On and on they walked, until they entered what was unmistakably some kind of red-light district. This seemed like an unlikely destination Hari thought - But who was she to say where they built their orphanages, for surely that was where they were headed?

Within minutes it became clear that there was no orphanage.

Or if this was one, then it was one dreary and creepily silent orphanage. This was possibly the rattiest apartment building she had seen in her life, and the walls were painted with crude drawings and slur.

“Homenum revelio” She breathed and cast the spell to reveal any peoples residing on the inside of the building.

None. There was not a single person in the entire building, what in the world..?

Watching blondie trying to work open a clearly defective lock from across the street with a growing lump in her throat, she became aware that others too were watching and that two persons were approaching.

Hoping against hope that they were wanting to help she stayed put.

The two men slurred about demons and devil children, they were drunk then?

Her internal debating on how she should do this in the most diplomatic way was interrupted, when one of the maybe-helpers raised his foot as though readying for a kick and fear not her own caught in her chest.

The blonde wore a resigned facial expression that should not have been on his face while he stuttered out an ineffective. “H-hey mister-”

Backing hastily out of range as the foot came down, the child put his back to his door - still-locked-no-use - And was that a rock in that mans hand?!

“HEY! Just what do you think you’re doing?!” Hari yelled at the top of her lungs.

She was halfway to the boy before she knew she was moving. The useless shadows sprang forth from their hidey-holes and her temper flared further as they failed to apprehend the drunks but went for her instead!

Vitriol and that tightly leashed aura within her unfurled around her like a billowing cloak of death and that very other part of her her bared its teeth and blasted out like a shockwave knocking the offenders and shadows alike right on their useless bums.

Dimly she registered screams and sounds of retching, but these headless chickens were of no consequence and all that mattered was reaching the little one.

“Vingardium leviosa!” Hari yelled while pointing her index and middle fingers at the perpetrators as though making hand-guns – And the men flew up and away to Hari-did-not-care-where.

Hauling the now shaking blonde up on to her hip Hari spun on the spot and with the sound of an almighty thunderclap they were gone in a swirl.

Paniced shouts and mutterings filled the area which now held a surprising number of people. "Where did they go?!" "Someone get the tracking unit-!" "Hiraishin?!" "No, no that was not it-" "Did you see the hair?! Shit."

Nara Shikaku looked heavenwards and sighed. Why had his day become this troublesome? 

Chapter Text

Hindsight really was 20/20.

Watching the village below descending to chaos Hari pinched the bridge of her nose.

She knew of course that she was.. Impulsive. Prone to bursts of emotion and every once in a while what Ron and Hermione had dubbed her own personal brand of idiocy.

Of COURSE they twitched when she stormed up to take little sunshine. She smacked her forehead with her palm. She was the mistress-of-death-uzumaki-island-reborn-somethingsomething and no doubt somewhat intimidating in a high temper.

Still. She refused to feel too too sorry because there was no excuse for how they hadn’t done anything about the drunk thugs or the general abuse. Was this his every day life? Thinking of that possibility made her ire rise once again but she tamped it down, she had precious cargo after all.

Tightening her hold on the boy she made sure the babe was still asleep, putting him in an induced slumner had seemed the better option in all the kerfuffle.

A black clad one with strange black and white white armor and a snarling mask turned abruptly towards where Hari stood holding sunshine. Hari had half a second to wonder how they’d been spotted, then - Oh, dogs. In.. Clothes?

“Ara? That’s strange isn’t it.”

Welp, they were strange but fast Hari thought as she leapt away using her newfound powers to super-jump.

“Trip jinxes for everyone!” Hari shouted gleefully – And perhaps unwisely. But she found great satisfaction in watching the whole pack of dogs and assorted ninja following them roll ass over tea kettle as she spun on the spot once again heading for a place they could not follow.

---

“What do we know? Speak.” Sarutobi Hiruzen sat by his desk, hands steepled and piercing eyes roving over each person in his currently cramped office. He might have appeared relaxed, if his knuckles hadn’t been white from how hard he was clenching his fingers.

“Where were you?” Shimura Danzo looked to a stony faced Uchiha Fugaku. As though the Uchiha military police force should have somehow foreseen this, stopped it even.

“We gave chase as soon as there was anything to chase. I was under the impression that while under surveillance, the unknown Uzumaki was not a threat.” Fugaku said, stiff as a board.

Shikaku decided to diffuse the situation by groaning loudly in a put upon way where he was slouched in his chair by the door.

“This was always a possibility.” He grouched when all heads had turned his way. “It’s nobodys fault.”

Someone snorted from the shadows.

“Okay.” He conceded, waving a limp hand haphazardly. “Maybe we do have some modicum of blame in the situation – But my point stands. On this particular day no one was more to blame than anyone else. Probably.”

“We must retrieve the ninetails container.” Danzo said dispassionately. “And this new threat must be dealt with swiftly.”

There was the clearing of a throat and someone else spoke. “We should not be hasty. Why? Because there is also clan law to consider, there may be clauses giving the family rights to any orphaned children.”

“There is no Uzumaki clan in Konoha.” Hiruzen said. Shikaku might have thought he looked regretful, but who could say. Aburame Shibi ducked his head in silent concession.

After a tense beat others started throwing out suggestions.

“Could this be another jinchuriki?”

“We need to send out a hunting squad as soon as possible.” One of the council members piped up. “Hatake? Inuzuka? Hyuuga?”

“Chakra sensors!”

“Call back Jiraya of the sannin- “

Shikaku sank further down in to his seat wishing he could be somewhere else and he wasn't the only one either. Orochimaru and Inoichi at least looked like they had sucked on a lemon as well.

Unfortunately he was the head of his clan and the jonin commander, for all the good that it would do in this situation - And could not up and leave.

He had a dozen different plans of attack rolling around in his head already and none seemed likely to succeed given the available information.. Which basically amounted to rumors they had heard and assumptions they had made based on observations during the last few days. Worrying rumors and assumptions at that.

Shikakus first impression of the red-head had been that of a ditzy playful thing.

Until she had stilled in the middle of their little talk that was.

It had lasted all of a second but it had made his skin prickle strangely. And then of course the red-head had stumbled across her kin and exploded like the fiery volcano her hair put his mind to and he had nearly lost control of his bowels.

What a bother that would have been, the unflappable jonin commander shitting his pants right in the middle of the akasen.

Contemplating all his life choices until now Shikaku sighed again. The council with a few exceptions were calling for blood. He knew well enough to follow hit gut instincts, and this? This was a terrible idea.

Chapter Text

Suigetsu and Karin goggled at the newcomer.

“He’s so shiny.” Karin crooned. “His chakra is like dandelions and basking in the sun, but that – Eeee?! What’s that?!”

She pointed to the boys abdomen. Hari pulled up sunshines shirt and gently eased a trickle of chakra in to the seal matrix hidden there, making the black lines appear.

“That, Karin, is a containment seal. Going by the feel of the chakra within, this child hosts the Kyuubi no kitsune.”

“Aa? A fox lives in his stomach?” Karin scrunched up her nose, Hari would have thought it cute had she not been too busy contemplating what this could mean.

She was sorely outdated as far as the nations politics went it was true, and while she maintained the notion that forcing sentient giants in to tiny human prisons was an astronomically stupid idea – Mistreating said human prisons. Er.. Human sacrifices she should say, just what in the world were they thinking??

She supposed she should be concerned that kidnapping one of the goofy woodmans “gifts” to a shinobi nation might cause a rumble too, but instead of worry there was only a creeping sense of bloodlust. That was.. Perhaps also something she should be concerned about.

Breath in, breath out. Mayhaps she would get to string some responsible party up by their innards at some point but not today. She squashed the last of it down just as the boy stirred.

Naruto came to slowly, he wasn’t sure what had happened outside of his apartment after the man with the rock. He felt sad and he was so so hungry.

There was nothing to eat and no one willing to help, and now he was.. Was he dead? He tried his best to stay still but traitorous tears still slipped past his eyelids.

He jumped as something touched his face and scrambled backwards until his back hit a solid something. His eyes still full of sleep flitted over his surroundings until they landed on the most vibrant thing there. Red.

Rubbing his eyes let him see a person, people.

The reddest person who was also the closest must have been the one to touch his cheek. They were smiling and though warning bells rang in the back of his mind - because this might be another trap – Naruto felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards before he forced his face to frown.

“Who’re you!?” He pointed a shaking finger at Hari. “And and, you and you.” He pointed to Karin and Suigetsu. “Uuuuh, where is this?” He trailed off uncertainly as he caught sight of his surroundings.

The trees were all wrong and the houses were strange, and as his sight caught the ocean he gaped and let his hand fall. He didn’t know there could be so much water in one place.

His stomach made a sound like an angry beast.

“Unhhhh.” Naruto moaned and clutched at his midsection. This was such a bad day.

“Hello little one.” The largest redhead said. “May I ask your name?”

“I - I’m Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it.” Another sound had him hunching over, this time Karin thought it sounded like the beast in his stomach might be dying.

“Uzumaki Naruto, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Uzumaki Hari.”

Naruto opened and closed his mouth a few times before any words came out. “U-Uzumaki? Are – Are we the same?”

“Why yes, we are!” The redhead beamed. The smile on her face was almost feral looking but Naruto thought it was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

“And this here is Uzumaki Karin.” Naruto let his attention fall on the other red head, she was a kid just like him!

At the loud GRRRMBLBLBLBLGROUH everyone stared at his stomach.

“Um.” Suigetsu said. “Was that the fox or are you like really, really hungry?”

“F-fox?” Naruto stuttered, once again more confused than anything else.

Taking in the whole situation it was clear to Karin that they were nearing some kind of catastrophic shutdown unless the boy was fed right now.

She nodded decisively to herself. “Come with me!” She said bossily, then she grabbed his arm and pulled him along towards the house where she knew her mother was cooking. No doubt Uzumaki Mariko would become Narutos favorite Uzumaki!

Hari looked on bemused as his little spitfire kin manhandled Naruto, well they would have time to talk more later. Hari supposed a good meal and pleasant company before any distressing talks was in order. She was dreading this bit, but it was what it was. At least she had led with good news – Even if the poor darling seemed overwhelmed.

----

Naruto spent the next few days alternating between being a ball of happy energy and crying hurt tears that made Haris insides want to shrivel up and die.

They had talked a lot about Uzushio, Konoha, the fox, and the fact that Narutos dead parent or possibly both parents had been Uzumaki.

When asked why nobody had ever told him about his parents Hari had said as true was, that she didn’t know why his supposed “grandfather” had kept this from him. There was no doubt that the man had known his heritage seeing as he had given Naruto the correct last name.

Hari signed.

She was so bad at this comforting stuff, just so so bad. Feelings had always been Hermiones strong suit even though Hari had and would of course do her very best.

They had decided that for now, Naruto would live with Mariko, Karin, Suigetsu and Mangetsu. Hari too was spending her nights there to make extra sure that Naruto was surrounded by the family he had waited and waited for.

Naruto was a very active child and got on like a house on fire with the equally active Suigetsu. Regardless of the ups and downs in his mood no days were dull and Hari did her best to find time to spend with Naruto.

Naruto had laughed and squealed with joy as Hari flung him in to the air and caught him again and again. It really was a miracle, Hari had thought, that his little Naruto could be so free with his trust after so much abuse.

Then, between one throw and the next, pleasant happy playtime for the day had been rudely interrupted by crashing waves and beastly wails.

Hari stared. She stared and stared and stared at the water on the other side of the barrier. Because what the bloody fuck.

Another thing just had to come bite her in the bum. A big blasted thing it was too, a turtle to be precise.

“What the bloody fuck.” Hari repeated, using her mouth this time.

“What’s that?! Uuhh I don’t feel so good yaknow?” Naruto had gone from eager to pale and clammy and was clutching at his stomach.

Oh dear.

“Sit down munchkin.” Hari said gently. “Remember that fox we talked about? The one in your tummy? That over there is his brother, but he’s not feeling his best at the moment.” And wasn't that the understatement of the year.

Hari pulled forth her latest wand-project, a long straight kanzashi in which she had managed to insert a particularly magical-feeling shard of metal. Hari thought it had to be metal anyway, the strange shard looked like it was on fire but there was no heat. As it was his Kanzashi-wand too looked like it was burning as the not-flames leaked through the wood.

As Hari drew runes on the sand in a circle around Naruto and told him she was raising a shield around him, Deaths disembodied voice floated on the wind and reached in to Haris mind.

“It is without its soul but it must exist on this plane. Thus it is reborn forever.” It said.

“Of-bloody-course.” Hari muttered. “Naturally nothing can be straight forward. Life sucking non-vampire sacks of shit, bits of souls lopped off and attached to other people. And now, beings running around entirely WITHOUT their souls.”

Naruto looked on in befuddlement as Hari paced back and forth on the beach muttering angrily to herself.

“Bleeding zombies? What next then, ghosts?”

Death whispered a hoarse chuckle. Strange images of a white mask, then a dark mask with pointed teeth and horns swam before her vision. Hari had never seen them but she somehow knew them to be located in a nearby temple, huh, strange Uzu memories. But wait..

“Oh no.” Hari said aloud. “No no. I was, ah, joking about the ghosts. Joking!”

Her little black and blue snake companion shook its slim head back and forth from where it hung around her neck, as though to tell her they both knew it was no use.

Hari was about as curious as they came, and ghosts or no ghosts she was likely to go find that mask sooner or later. Because, who was she to ignore such a mysterious artefact when it was practically dangled in front of her inner eye?

Also, if one could fetch souls.. Well.. Eeeh bollocks.

But first. First she would have to deal with her giant problem before it trampled the local neighbors whom she had helped along and quite liked actually.

What she was going to do with the giant thing once it was subdued she had no idea, but that was a problem for future Hari she thought as she pushed up the sleeves of her shirt and strode off towards mayhem.

Chapter Text

“Reducio!” Hari shouted at the temporarily stunned creature and repeated the spell once more. “Reducio! Oh for heavens sake REDUCIO!” Hari let out some more choice expletives and let the reducio spells rain upon the shrinking giant until it was about the size of a small horse.

A dog sized rabid bijuu would likely have been more manageable she thought, but she just couldn’t make herself do it. It seemed.. Undignified somehow, on a much higher level than the current horse size.

“Oh well..” She muttered to herself while conjuring up more of professor Mcgonagall’s silver ropes than she ever had in either lives.

No way was she leaving this one untied after all the dodging and missed spells she had gone through in her quest to subdue it. Blasted turtle, managing to hit flesh rather than shell with stunners was a task and a half – Like fighting Hagrid’s giant mantis-spawn but so much worse!

“I’m not sorry.” She sniped at Isobu-currently-not-really-Isobu, not that it could hear her in its state. Obeying a childish impulse to see if she could detect any life in its one eye she leaned in closer.

“Eugh!” She exclaimed and backed away swiftly.

It was one of the creepiest things Hari had ever seen anywhere and she had seen a lot! It had demolished large parts of her island in the past, it looked like a bearded one eyed turtle-crab (which it was) but more than that it currently had that inferi vibe going and that made Haris skin crawl.

“I’ll just.. Be off then. You stay here and er, oh why do I bother talking there’s no one home in there.”

The snake coiled around her throat stuck its head out and hissed menacingly at Isobu. “Good girl.” Hari said and patted its cute little head.

“Right then.. Temple-time my little friend. Let’s be off before any other catastrophes happen.”

----

Hari had to clear out unholy amounts of rubble to get to the temple entrance, she might have tried to dissapparate inside but god only knew what the inside looked like so.. No.

She entered directly in to a large hall as there was no antechamber for this temple, and the large circular room was decorated with different types masks and sealing scrolls which hung in rows on the wall.

There were scary masks, cute ones, clowny ones, plain ones, all kinds. As she walked along she skimmed her fingers over a lovely skull-like mask which felt oddly appealing, but ultimately moved on to search for her quarry.

She stopped at a grinning, white mean-looking horned mask and picked it from the wall with slight trepidation. This would probably either go really well or completely sideways.

Hari put the mask on. She had expected discomfort, possibly loss of control, pain and agony – But instead the mask molded itself to fit her face and a strange sense of contentment stole over her. As thought this was all right and good.

Instead of thinking too hard on this she thought of the soul she wished to summon and why. The pain-in-her-rear-turtle needed its soul back.

Hari immediately doubled over and heaved where she had fallen on all fours, and to her horror she felt something wholly unnatural rise up through her poor esophagus and then pour out through her mouth. She heaved several times and with dread she felt not just the one but three different souls make their way out.

“That.” Hari panted once she was done soul-puking. “Was disgusting. And terribly undignified for all parties involved. Let's never do it again.”

Sitting back on her hauches and gathering her wits she cast her eyes upon the gathered crowd.

Hari had to fight back real bile at that. The Isobu shaped one had only lingered for a few seconds before it flew off to hopefully enter it’s own body. The remaining two however.. Her tentative connection to the mask let her know that in front of her stood the wraiths of what had once been Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina.

---

Hari wasn’t sure how it was possible to feel so bad in so many ways all at once. Her first impulse had been to fetch Naruto – Which she had done in about three seconds flat, curse her impulsiveness. She figured she had probably scared the rest of the lot with her hasty action as well as throwing several people including herself unprepared in to this reunion.

There were a lot of tears and hugging, which, she wasn’t sure how they were solid enough but hey. Hari had told them this was Naruto and then backed as far away as she could because emotions, she was still bad at them. And gave them relative privacy.

As she listened with half an ear she wished they could stay but alas it was not to be. Hari could not and more importantly – Would not resurrect the dead. It was not the way of the world as she knew already from her experience with the resurrection stone.

The dead could linger but only misery followed where death lingered too long. True resurrection was unheard of in any case, well, except for herself she supposed.

No, Kushina and Minato could not stay. Hari would not butt in or infringe on their time now, but when the little darling was asleep she would talk to them.

Not having the heart to take him anywhere Hari conjured some rags in to passable bedding when Naruto started to sag with sleep. They would have time come morn to say their goodbyes. Temporary goodbyes actually, as they had explained that they had somehow stored parts of their beings in Narutos bijuu seal.

Were they Pseudo-horcruxes? Hari wasn’t super excited about this but at least they weren’t malicious in nature this time.

When sunshine was soundly asleep the two ghosts told Hari more of who they had been when living, of their hopes and dreams for their son and how they had died defending their village and Naruto when the nine-tailed fox had been forcefully released and had attacked Konoha.

It was a tragic tale tinged with regret at how things had turned out.

Hari had been confused hearing of Namikazes mentor who was also Narutos godfather. Where was he? Certainly not anywhere near Naruto, had he perished in the attack as well? Surely there had to be a reasonable explanation. Memories of Sirius flew in his minds eye.

Even if he was dead too.. What could have happened that the known heir of a village leader and an Uzumaki princess had been raised and treated like an outcast?

Hari had more unanswered questions now than before this strange encounter, and privately thought that more than one person was likely to piss their pants when she got her hands on them.

Chapter Text

The reunion and second leaving of Narutos parents had gone about as well as it could have – Which was to say not well at all but also not completely disastrous.

The normally sunny child was subdued but had somehow found a new courage in knowing that they were dead but not entirely gone as he had though they had been for all of his life so far.

Hari wouldn’t lie to herself and say she wasn’t a little worried about that, she knew emotional damage when she saw it. But.. She herself had come out alright hadn’t she? A little awkward and numb to grief and most feelings in general but hey. Except for anger, she had that in spades apparently. Who was she to throw stones at other peoples ways of coping.

She supposed the one thing that really worried her was Naruto running around and loudly proclaiming that he was going to be the hokage, because it implied wanting to go back.

Hari had never wanted to go back to the Dursleys herself, what she would do about that she didn’t know. Time would tell she supposed.

Weeks passed in Uzushio. Every other day someone new would approach the seas surrounding the island by boat or ninja-magic, and Hari found it parts jarring and parts pleasant every time. They could not get close of course, and so each time she ventured out to consider and some she led back in. Their numbers had grown quite a bit and they were now an odd mixture of former missing-nin turned Uzu-nin and civilians.

One elderly man who arrived with his family had wept openly and kissed the land when he had arrived with soft cries of “Home. I’m home.” Then he had hugged the stuffing out of Hari and inquired about the conditions of his old forge.

Hari was quite sure the forges were no more and said so, but added that they were rebuilding and would welcome his expertise. The elderly fellow had straightened, tears still running free, put his fist to his heart and bowed and exclaimed. “Uzukage-sama, it shall be done.” Then he scampered towards the settlement with surprising vitality, leaving a rattled Hari and a bemused Mangetsu to escort the others to the settlement.

---

Hari was working on some seals one day, when her skin once again tickled strangely and the bond with her barrier suggested that someone had made it all the way to the edge of it. A feat only that blasted Yagura had managed so far.

Hari cocked her head to the side as though listening intently and Mangetsu stopped polishing his sword.

“Hum, someone is knocking at our front door.” She said with as much calm as she could muster. At Mangetsus alarmed face she hastened to add. “Ah, they’re close but it’s not like the last time. Well it doesn’t feel like doom anyway. More like a gentle tap than a battering-ram, you know?” She said.

No one looked entirely convinced, which, fair.

“Well I’m going to answer, come along if you’d like but please stay back a bit. A few of these feel familiar.”

Mangetsu, a blue sharkman and a pair of chain-wielding twins who had taken it upon themselves to guard Hari immediately leapt to their feet to follow.

Strolling across the water to exit the barrier Hari privately thought that SHE would be the one to protect the latter two, but they were determined and they were rather adorable if she did say so herself.

“Good evening, pineapple-san, snake-chan.” Hari said crossing her arms over her chest and inwardly smirking at their respective reactions.

The pineapple one looked severely unimpressed and –was that a pout? The snake-one looked as though she had just slapped him with a fish, but he HAD run away like a little child back then - And he had a strange kind of cute about him. As far as deadly vipers could be considered cute, anyway.

She was pleased to see that out of all of them, only these two had managed to resist the muggle-repelling charms set on the inner barrier long enough for her to open the door so to speak. Several yards away a small collection of men danced awkwardly on the currents of her whirlpools looking appropriately confused.

“Uzumaki-dono. You’ve caused quite the stir.” Said pineapple-head and stuffed both hands in to his pockets with the air of a man ready to be done with the day.

“Mh.” She nodded her head once in ascent. “Yes I rather imagine that I have. What of it?”

“I am Nara Shikaku and this is Orochimaru of the sannin. We would like to.. Talk?” He rubbed at the back of his neck.

Hari wondered what this mans role in Konoha was. The glint in his eyes and getting past the charm told her he had to be sharp as a razor, was he putting on an act?

“Konoha formally requests entry to conduct negotiations.” the snake said stiffly. “Jiraya of the sannin is the appointed squad leader and-”

“Aah-hah?” Hari couldn’t help the incredulous outburst as well as a minor leakage of magic at that. She had long since sniffed out that no, the man was not dead or incarcerated, and she might have been nursing a bit of a grudge even if she hadn't spoken to him yet. So. The deadbeat godfather who was also a world-class threat and seal-master wanted access to her island, the bijuu and the munchkin?

”I would rather eat poisonous toadstools.” Hari answered, willing away the static electricity now surrounding her person.

She couldn’t quite understand the strange faces the two made this time, but perhaps this expression was simply too British or even wizard-y?

“That means no.” She said to clarify.

Hari took a closer look at the crowd in the back.

One wild-maned mountain of a man with drawings on his face – must be Jiraya. There was one feral looking thing surrounded by familiar dogs in clothing, one blonde lady who felt like one of his – But looked like she wanted to be anywhere else. Then she counted two dark haired not-voldemorts, a blonde and a brunette with strange pale eyes and finally one person that seemed to be only cloak, a tuft of hair and sunglasses.

“You two may enter." Hari said to the closest two. "As well as the lovely lady in the back and sunglasses there." She gestured to the crowd. Hari wasn’t sold on snake-man and the last one as it seemed they both had one of those nasty soul-seals on them - But quite frankly the others freaked her out more and she was trying to be reasonable.

She had after all, er, caused a stir as pineapple put it.

“We need to discuss this with our companions, I’m sure you understand.” snake-man said.

“Of course. Take your time, I’ll be right inside just let me know when you’re ready.”

-

Watching the duo make their way back Shisui could tell they hadn’t exactly rolled out the red carpet for them, but so far no fighting. No yelling either so that was all good.

“Well. The wrath of Uzushio is not overly pleased to see us.” Shikaku deadpanned. Someone snorted. “But she will allow me, Orochimaru, Tsunade and Tatsuma in to talk.”

“Surely she would let me in as well?” Jiraya asked. “Naruto is my godson after all.”

“Uh. She would rather eat..” Shikaku found he didn’t want to finish that sentence. “No. She was pretty clear on that, and I think bringing up the godfather thing might be unwise considering she went berserk removing him from violent adults, in front of his dilapidated home, in the redlight-district.”

Jiraya winced but recovered quickly.

“Wait seriously? She’ll take Orochi but not me?” Tsunade had enough presence of mind to aim a smack his way before reverting to scowling at the water.

“We could try to dismantle the protection and force our way in?” The Yamanaka piped up.

“I can’t even get close enough to see what it is so that plan is a bust.” Jiraya mumbled sourly. “And it’s a bad idea anyway, Hiruzen was clear in that we should maintain peace if at all possible.”

The rest of the group muttered their consent.

“We should head for the mainland then for now.” Said the Hyuuga in the group. “This is rather tiresome, we won’t be able to enter and it is better to conserve our strength and chakra so that we might be ready if we are needed.”

There was no denying this logic, especially as nobody knew how long they might remain on the island and sooner or later they would become unable to stay afloat with the current chakra usage.

“Very well.” Jiraya grumped. “Send word as soon as you can.”

The trio who were entering the island nodded in ascent and watched their companions leave, then they turned themselves and headed towards the unknown.

Chapter Text

Hari thought she might have cursed herself walking in front of the odd group as she was. She could practically feel the eyes of pineapple-Shikaku boring through the back of her head.

Words like fuck, wank and shaite were on repeat in her mind, but she knew she had made the right call. War and the likes was something she would avoid if she could. Not at any cost of course, but still.

“Here we are then.” Hari said as they reached the boarders of the barrier. “Please place your palms upon the barrier." She said in her best flight-attendant voice. "If your intentions regarding this visit are malicious in any way shape or form – Prepare for immediate fiery death.”

The shinobi with her were too good to show any outwards reactions to this statement, but Hari could practically taste the wariness. In all but the blonde that was, and surprising Hari she immediately approached and put her hands to the barrier. It gave a satisfying soft ping.

“You may enter Uzushio, good Lady.” Hari said and made a come-hither motion. “Please approach and give me your hand so that I may allow you to pass through the barrier.”

Tsunade did as asked and stretched her arm towards Hari.

“Be warned that this mark only allows a one time entry and will fade once you are in.” Hari said as she brushed her index finger over the top of her hand, leaving a small spiral. “All arrivals to the island are regulated. As you may have realized, trying to gain entrance without it is inadvisable.”

Hari smiled benevolently at Tsunade who was looking at her hand with something close to reverence. “Please go on though and wait for us on the other side.” She said.

Straightening her back and raising her chin, she marched determinately though the barrier. Hari spared a though to the barrier on platform nine and three quarters, ah, memories. Then she turned to the remaining three.

“This is unfortunately a non-negotiable security measure.” She said when they hesitated. “If any of you wish to turn back now you may do so, I will not hold it against Konoha or her people.”

There was good reason for this precaution, Hari had learned the hard way not to simply let people in by request. The few people concerned had all screamed their way in to the afterlife of course, but she was in no hurry to repeat the experience which had caused her a surprising amount of anxiety. Nor did she wish to put any of hers in unnecessary danger.

“What if..” Orochimaru started to say, but paused seemingly to think. “What if, my- m- my- ”

Hari watched in fascination as Orochimaru stuttered and abruptly clacked his mouth shut. He then made an aborted gesture towards his head. Aborted, because midway there his limb too stuttered.

Shikakus eyes lost their lazy mien, and they darted from Orochimaru to Tatsuma, who interestingly enough had not so much a stirred at the uncharacteristic behavior of their party-member.

Ah yes, Hari thought and narrowed her own orbs. She would have to look in to that. She’d had no trouble examining the thing when she had accidentally assaulted him at the noodle-shop, so she supposed it too read intent. Having the man stick his tongue out to a perfect stranger might have been innocent enough, he’d had little to no prior knowledge of her as far as she knew.

The tongue seal reeked of Uzumaki-work, and Hari had to squash down her temper thinking about that. Should she be prowling the streets of Konoha looking for a demented Uzu-sealer? Or perhaps they simply had a thief or ten in their ranks?

Hari cleared her throat, she would pick this up later, but now had other more pressing issues to deal with. Namely the rest of the visitors.

“Do you intend to cause us harm?” She asked him.

”I do not.” Orochimaru answered without pause.

“Will the abomination on your tongue compel you to do us harm?” She followed up.

Orochimaru seemed to hesitate, then. “I do not think so, although- ”

At the unfortunate loud click of his mouth shutting once more accompanied by a full body shudder, Hari decided that the man would just have to decide for himself if he wanted to risk it. Pineapple-man was following every action and interaction with hawk-eyes.

“I understand." Hari said. "Do what you will.”

Hands not betraying a single nerve, Orochimaru touched the barrier. Upon its ping, so did the unnamed third man. Hari let them pass.

"Troublesome.” Shikaku muttered under his breath as he moved his hand to the barrier and then to Haris outstretched hand after the ping.

“Yes, isn’t it just.” Hari agreed. And having let him in she followed through the barrier.

“Welcome to Uzushio.” She said as they approached the shoreline where newly mended houses and various buildings could be seen, as well as massive ruins in the background.

“Some ground rules before we reach the others – Yes there are others. Some you may know and some you may not, some civilians as well as shinobi. There will be no fighting.”

Hari didn’t think they would start any fights, but it was still worth saying.

She had no idea who might know who, but she figured that at the very Mangetsu as well as her latest stray and now head of eh.. Law enforcement, would be someone they knew of.

Hoshigaki Kisame had been a real surprise. He had come knocking a few weeks back with an actual sentient sword on his back and the proverbial hat in his hand requesting sanctuary. For all that he looked like a vicious shark, the man had seemed tired and weary with the world, and Hari had resc- er, welcomed him in with open arms after they had a talk about goals and honesty.

Kisame was large and brutish but surprisingly calm and his sense of justice was strong. True, he had beheaded their first, uh.. Offender, but some weight had to be put on his background. Hari had heard stories about the hidden mist and their doings the latest years that made the hairs on her arms raise whenever she thought about it.

“We have people requesting entrance now and then.” Hari said. “And I would ask that you do not start any hostilities with anyone here new or old.”

The group following him agreed readily and Hari was glad. She didn’t need any more headaches thank you very much.

The moment their feet touched land her two presumably most infamous mist-nin and her guard rose out of the water like horror-things.

Hari found that she appreciated this show of muscle though it was probably unnecessary.

“Right then, I believe it is time for proper introductions.” She said. It really was a rather glaring breach of etiquette that none of them – Including her - had actually introduced themselves properly.

“I am as you may know, Uzumaki Hari.” She said to the group of shinobi.

“These two.” She gestured at her nin. “Are Hoshigaki Kisame, my head of law enforcement and Hozuki Mangetsu, my.. Well I don’t know yet but he’s a kickass fighter. These two are Dozu and Meizu, my guard.”

Hari had tried to insist several times that she did not need a guard, but to no avail. Strangely the water–natives in particular, who were by the by not squeamish when it came to bodily harm in general, were absolutely unmovable on this. From the shinobi down to the very last civilian.

It was true that Hari had not shared the fact of her immortality, but she still felt that this was overkill. None of the others had their own personal guards. Che.

Hari tuned back in, and gestured at her neck noticing Orochimarus stare. “Ah yes. This is Hebimei.”

The snake poked its head out and wiggled its tongue at the Konohans.

“Right.” not-sloth-Shikaku said.

“I am Nara Shikaku, jonin commander of Konohagakure. My companions are Orochimaru of the Sannin, Senju Tsunade of the Sannin and Aburame Tatsuma.”

“Nice to meet you.” Hari said and added a nod of her head as an afterthought. Though, whether this would be any kind of nice was still very much up in the air.

They managed to talk about menial things such as the ocean and surrounding areas while they walked over to her newly erected office slash livingspace, but unsurprisingly the conversation soon turned to Uzushio and her inhabitants.

“Your rebuilding efforts seem to be going well.” Shikaku said, gazing at some of the structures and wondering how many people were here for them to have been able to do this much. “How long have you been at it?”

“Oh..” Hari pondered what to say while pouring tea in to cups. Ultimately she decided on a partial truth. Let them wonder.

“Well I’ve.. Been around for a while." She said handing out cups. "We started seriously rebuilding a few months ago when enough people had trickled in that it was necessary.”

Shikaku whistled and Hari could practically see the gears whizzing away in his head. She wondered if the man had seen the ruins before, the clearing of things alone would have taken massive effort if manual labor was all they had.

“We’re hoping to get the marketplace cleared and mended next.” Hari said, and this brought them on to the possibility of trade agreements, which she was only too happy to explore.

A city needed trade to flourish after all. Though Uzushio was technically under the reign of the water daimyo, Hari really wasn’t too fussed about what opinions the old sod might hold. Water as a whole had all stood by and let her people get slaughtered or actively participated in said slaughter, after all.

“So, your people..?” Tatsuma hedged.

Some of said people present tensed, but Hari only shrugged her shoulders and answered.

“Mostly a mixture of previous inhabitants returned, dissidents, and as you must have guessed – Various unaffiliated and estranged shinobi.”

Shikaku groaned the word ‘troublesome’ and Hari held back a smile. There really were rather a lot of unaffiliated people out there, she wondered how many Konohans she might come across if she looked.

“And, relatives?” Orochimaru said, faux inspecting his nails.

Ah, Hari thought. They had arrived at the crux of the visit.

“Why, yes of course.” She replied, a cheshire grin stretching unnaturally across her face making her appear to have far too many too sharp teeth. She might have transfigured it a bit to intimidate, so sue her.

Most of her visitors leaned back fractionally, but surprisingly, two leaned forwards. Hari studied Shikaku and Orochimaru right back with interest.

The latter at least had seemed rather skittish at their last meeting, though she supposed she had been delivering some rather disturbing information. News even, judging by his adverse reaction.

As though summoned by the mentions of family, a scuffle and a squeak announced the arrival of Naruto, Karin and Suigetsu.

“You!” Suigetsu exclaimed, mouth hanging open and finger pointing at Orochimaru before he ambled over. “I’ve seen you in a book, you have the sword of Kusanagi! Can I see it? Can I??”

The child was positively vibrating where he now stood, much to the snakes bafflement if the blank look was any indication.

“No.” Orochimaru said, and the boy wilted comically.

“Sui, don’t be a nuisance.” Mangetsu muttered, to little effect.

“Hariiiiii.” Suigetsu whined in a pitch that made her ears cry.

“Right, the man said no Suigetsu.” Deciding to just barrel on, Hari went on with introductions. “Children, meet Tsunade, Orochimaru, Shikaku and Tatsuma. Adults, meet Naruto, Karin and Suigetsu.”

The konohans seemed unsure how to proceed at being introduced to someone they all clearly knew, however Hari doubted very much that Naruto knew them and the other kids certainly had no reason to. Well, barring Orochimaru in Suigetsus case.

“Naruto, these are our guests from Konoha. They’ve come to see if you’re well.”

“Oh.” The blonde said and shuffled his feet in the cutest way. “Hi.” He said with a little wiggle of his fingers, then subtly shifted so that he was half hidden behind a severely frowning Karin.

Tsunade who had thus far tried to blend in with the background was the first one to return the greeting. She still wore that sullen look, but he thought it might have softened a little and Hari wondered if there might be some history there.

The others followed suit, and though Naruto made sure to keep Uzu people between him and the adult Konohans at all times the whole affair went rather well - Even counting Suigetsus massive tantrum when Uzumaki Mariko came along to shuffle them off to do their night things and get to bed.

Later that night found Hari, Kisame, and the konohans drinking sake around a roaring fire.

In the end, Hari had agreed to make official visits to Konoha in the not too distant future – Though when they requested that she bring Naruto with her for the first visit, Hari told them in not so many words that they ought to have their heads examined upon returning home.

“I will consider your request of course, but it is premature.” She said. “Surely you must understand my position, I do not consider Konoha safe for him at present and will not risk his health.”

She took a deep drought of her sake and eyed the two males across from her. They were interesting. And she found to her surprise that she was a tad interested.

“Perhaps a compromise, then?” Orochimaru hedged. “Might one of us remain? Temporarily, of course.”

“Hmmm.” Hari chewed on that thought. She wasn’t overly thrilled, but the idea held merit.

“I think that it might be acceptable, but, as things are now it would have to be Tsunade.”

Orochimaru was both relieved at this suggestion and not.

On the one hand, the slug princess was broken and Hiruzen had said in no uncertain terms that the sannin were to return to Konoha after their mission was complete or risk becoming missing nin. Perhaps she could find some healing here he thought, Konoha likely would not offer it.

No doubt she would be set to work in the hospital.

Orochimaru was no saint, he would even go so far as saying that he was severely lacking in the empathy department after all his long years of death and murder.

However.

In his minds eye he could still hear and feel her shrill scream and see her entire being shaking in grief and horror at the sight of her brothers blood covering her hands.

On the other hand.. He had rather wished that he might be the one to stay.

Shikakus immediate agreement took the matter out of his hands.

“I believe the hokage will be amenable.” He said. “We will send a runner to confirm.”

Tsunades frown deepened but she didn’t protest otherwise. Hari supposed he must be the leader of this little part of the group, and absentmindedly wondered at the hierarchy and strength of the party-members.

Business concluded, they changed their talks to lighter topics. Unwilling to sleep or let any of these potential threats out of her sight while they were all still on her island she kept them company until the sun announced the early hours of the morning.

Hari and entourage escorted them to the barrier, and she was not sorry to see the backs of them even though the visit had been pleasant enough.

Interesting times were ahead no doubt.

Chapter Text

Life on the island went on.

Tsunade warmed up rather quickly considering how she had been when she first arrived – And having a healer on hand was nice, even if she had a serious aversion towards blood.

Hari wondered about that, and thought it had to be a massive hindrance.

Blood was everywhere in shinobi life. She could handle small scrapes, but the time Mangetsu had wound up with an open fracture on his arm she had all but shut down until the others had set the bones and wiped all the red away. Then she had healed it, still gray in the face and scowling at the world.

It was the middle of tea-time when a loud ping rang out from the barrier. Ping. Ping, ping, ping ping pingpingpingping.

Hari pinched her nose, already knowing who it must be by the feel of the chakra.

Oh dear.

“Rrrright-o. Uh. You guys best stay way back for this one.” She raised her hands when they opened their mouths to protest. “No. Stay at the shoreline or just inside the barrier if you must, I won’t risk it.”

Rapid fire arguments followed, but in the end they agreed to stay just on the other side of the barrier, with the firm condition that they WOULD exit and engage if there was danger.

They’d better not die Hari though grumpily.

“Hey death bitch!” Rang out shrilly once the person was within shouting-range.

“Open up this fucking thing would you?! These other cocksuckers I ran in to the other day were super insistent and I’m like, literally falling apart here!”

And indeed he was, Hari thought incredulously watching as Hidan waved his currently unattached arm like some sort of morbid floppy flagpole in exuberant greeting.

Tsunade made a sound of distress that immediately caught Haris attention. Turning to her she saw that the lady was shaking and her face was pale as a sheet as she took in the form on the other side of the barrier. It was likely the blood, but..

“Lady Tsunade?” Hari said gently. “Do you know this one?”

If she did and was disturbed by the visit, Hari could relate. The blonde womans lips were clamped shut so hard they were starting to turn white, but she shook her head no.

“I see. Would you perhaps wish to return to the village? I have met him before and promise that I will be fine.”

The decision looked like it cost a lot, but she squared her shoulders and shook her head again.

“Hidan.” Hari greeted and passed straight through the barrier to stand in front of him.

“This is a surprise. Shouldn’t you be more careful with that?” She gestured at the detached limb Hidan had taken to beating on the barrier with.

“Mfh, makes no difference. Got any skill with a needle? Trying to put this back on with just the one good arm is a fucking painnnnn.” He whined and held his bad hand to his forehead dramatically, smearing his face with blood in the process.

Someone in the background choked on what might have been a laugh.

“I suppose.. I do.” Hari hesitated. “But, my island is full of squishy people who I love. And you are to my knowledge an indiscriminate bringer of general pain and death. Do you see where I am going with this?”

“Ughhh fine. I’ll leave them be, but only cause you said.” He aimed his limp appendage at Hari as though to point out what a massive favor this was.

“And anyway.” He said. “I remember us talking about several other types of suffering and I’m sure your ragtag group is rife with it. I heard a lot of crazy shit about them.”

To Haris surprise she found that she actually believed the certifiable lunatic, and she was more than a little touched that he not only remembered their talk way back, but had actually thought about it. However..

“Look me in the eye and say that again.” She said and pulled out her latest, rather more successful wand attempt.

Legilimenz.

Flashes of battle presented themselves immediately, the men wearing strange dark cloaks with red clouds had certainly tried to get him on board and brought a fight to boot but dumb luck – Or bad luck if Hidans continued bloodlust had been any indicator – had seen him swept off a cliff and in to the ocean where he spent an indeterminate amount of time incapacitated.

Where had they gone..? What on earth did they want the tailed beasts for? Peace through subjugation? Where were the other beasts? She had two currently on her island. Hari would have to look in to this, not to mention add more layers to her barriers.

Moving on Hari thought, and let her mind skim his nearest thoughts to root out any immediate plans of mass murder or kidnap. There were none.

Her barrier should have picked up on it of course, but this one was an outlier in so many ways.

“Alright. Yes, I’ll help.”

“Awesome. This fucking hurtsssss and it takes foreeeever if it has to fix on its own.” That wild grin and whine combination sure was something else. L-u-n-a-t-i-c.

“Hari-san- ” Tsunade started to say, but was cut off.

“HEY! THAT’S MASTER OF FUCKING DEATH TO YOU, YOU HEATHEN PIECE OF SHIT!”

“What did you call me?!” Tsunade yelled and started to glow ominously. Healer, Hari thought, she could heal. Maybe. Unless she bled? Fuck.

“Hidan.” Hari muttered out the side of her mouth.

“Uuugh you’re no fun. FINE, fine I wanna get my arm back on first anyways but these fucking fleshbags better not disrespect.”

“Um, possibly I haven’t er, told them about that particular facet of my existence.” Hari said and pointedly ignored the inquisitive looks cast her way.

Hidan laughed maniacally all the way to the shore at that as though this was the greatest joke he’d ever heard.

Hari had thought for sure that Hidan would rub everyone the wrong way, but most of the crew took his general bloodlust well once he toned down the god-worship thing. Having reasoned that he wasn’t going to make any sacrifices here anyway, he contented himself to occasionally trying to recruit new followers -Though Hari had put her foot down firmly about preaching to the younglings.

Surprisingly, Hidan and Tsunade hit it off like a house on fire.

He was crude and crass and she apparently had a raging temper simmering beneath her pretty visage. The two started out snarking at each other and then bickering like an old married couple, and then the beatdowns started happening.

The first time she punched a giant hole through his chest she’d had a horrible panic attack, screamed and then crumpled to her knees like a marionette whos strings had been cut. The sheer terror with which she had regarded her trembling hands and the still Hidan had been gut wrenching to behold.

Then, the zealot gasped theatrically. How, Hari didn’t know since he couldn’t possibly have much lung left.

“W-what?” The lady had seemed stumped at his non-dead state, so much so that she broke out somewhat of whatever haze she had disappeared in to.

“Wahhu that ws rhlly, yeouwch.” Hidan had gargled, blood frothing at his mouth.

Tsunade had then crawled over to a bush and puked, prompting Hidan to attempt laughing at her though he couldn’t quite manage.

“You prick!” Tsunade grunted out between heaves. “Why are you not dead?!”

“Ooo dat, cnt die.”

Hidan then rolled over to her like some kind of strange floppy worm, presumably because parts of his spine was missing and he had no other way of moving, and tried to swing at her face from his prone position. She dodged and swung back, and Hari jumped away as a bloody crater emerged where Hidan had laid.

“..Right, please don’t destroy Uzu Tsunade-hime, I will be very upset. Hidan?”

A muted gargle from him, not so much as a peep from her. Perhaps she had passed out? Surely Hidan wasn’t a pleasant sight whatever was left of him. Oh well..

“I’m gonna go help with dinner, Gargle once if you’ll be ok down there, twice for no.”

Hidan gargled once and that was good enough for Hari. Not her monkeys not her circus, maybe.

When she went by to check on the idiots hours later they were still in the crater, in a state of undress and in the throes of.. Something.

Monkeys, circus, she thought and walked away.

 --------------

Several someones had tried approaching the barrier in the weeks following Hidans arrival, and Hari was dismayed to see those cloaks in person. If she had taken to secretly sowing in protective runes in every piece of clothing little Naruto owned that was nobodys business and should some unlucky bastard ever find out they would be taking the secret to their grave.

Hidan being Hidan had ventured out several times to battle it out and always returned in various states of dismembered and otherwise mangled, looking equal parts pleased and disgruntled each time.

“So, you’re taking the gig?” Hari asked after one particularly nasty fight.

“Yeah recon I might as well” Hidan shrugged and poked at his newly reassembled shoulder. “It’s nice here and all but this place isn’t exactly my shtick.”

Hari snorted in to her cup of coffee. “No I would imagine not. Master of death I may be but you are certainly some sort of mayhem master.” A wild grin broke on him and If Hidan had possessed feathers Hari tought he might have fluffed himself up and preened like a roster.

“How does this thing work anyway?” Hari asked prodding his arm. “You must have lost a lot of mass, how are there not bits missing even if you do heal freakishly well?”

Even though Hidan usually brought back his missing limbs for reattachment, large chunks of flesh and bone and various other things had to have gone missing in the fray.

Hidan shrugged carelessly. “Jashin sama is mighty and rebuilds me I guess? Never tried with the big stuff but I heal. Get hungry as all hell though.”

Hari would have argued that the spine and innards were a pretty big deal as well as his arms, head and legs but hey. She too had healed from anything thrown at her so far, though she was much more cautious than Hidan ever was.

“What about Tsunade?” Hari asked. She had no idea what their relationship was, but they were certainly something. Hari had walked in on them several times now, and had even seen them kissing non-violently once. Strange times.

Hidan hmmmed and fell in to thought. “I’ll visit. Or we’ll meet up somewhere.” He said at length. And that was all they said about that.

When the day arrived, Hari found that she was a little sad to see him go.

There were no prolonged goodbyes, and if anyone noticed the hallows symbol hanging around Tsunades neck and the shiny green stone around Hidans, nobody said a thing.

Chapter Text

“Tsunade-obaaaa..”

Hari stuck the tip of her tongue between her lips in concentration, ignoring the loud whine from her little cousin and the snap of Tsunades answering voice.

“Quiet, brat! Or do you want your precious Hari to lose bodyparts, uh?!”

Narutos muttered no and subsequent sulk so heavy she could almost taste it might have made Hari laugh if it wouldn’t have messed up her seals.

Not wishing to depend on carrying numerous trinkets everywhere she went, she had decided to follow through with her plan of inking her hands and well.. One thing had led to another.

Her body ached something fierce as her latest carefully painted swirls and runes for agility and speed burned their way in to her skin.

“That’s.. That’s the last of it for now.” She panted. “Thanks much for the assist, Tsunade.”

The healer scoffed and walked away, Naruto scampering to follow in her wake. She had warmed up considerably in the time she had been with them, but the woman had an attitude a mile wide covering her soft interior.

She supposed the other woman too wasn’t looking forwards to their imminent departure.

Going to Konoha was a large can of worms just waiting to be opened no doubt. But it couldn’t be helped. Alliances blah blah.

If this went off without a hitch she would eat her left boot.

Her insides churned at the thought of bringing any of her squishy people with her but they insisted and she could see the logic kind of.. But..

Perhaps.. Perhaps she would go on ahead. Scout the place out a bit more?

Kisame would probably have a conniption and chew her out. And she supposed it was too much to hope that her apparating in to the village would go unnoticed?

Oh, well.. Maybe another time.

“There you go, Hermione. Keeping my nose out of trouble, maybe.” Hari muttered, and slunk off to wash away the sweat and find herself a meal.

 ----

Hari tried to find sleep that night, she really did, but it was no use.

The dread and anxiety was too much. There were too many questions, too many worries. And would another potential international incident really make any difference? If she was caught, they'd at least have plenty to discuss and maybe they could even score some points against her.

She didn’t know what it would accomplish, but surely, just a quick visit.. Why, she could even disguise herself!

Though.. Would it be better or worse if she was caught pretending to be someone else? Probably.. Worse.

Hari let out a gusty sigh. A compromise, then.

Rummaging through what was now her wardrobe she pulled on her regular outfit of turquoise hakama adorned with swirls and waves, and dark grey turtleneck.

She donned a belt which held a piece of fabric with the Uzu swirl on it, but decided to forego the pauldrons, most of her adornments as well as the fancy cape and the blasted hat. She shot the damn thing a withering glare where it laid abandoned in a corner.

Her hair.. No that would have to stay in its usual red, long braided form. Did she have any masks on hand?

Yes, yes this would do nicely she though, picking out and placing a half mask over the bottom of her face. It was a half replica of one she had liked from the Uzu temple. She had taken to wearing them sometimes when venturing out to areas that were less than hospitable. Also, for mystery purposes.

Sure it was a little unnerving with its skeletal features and too many teeth. But, she never claimed to be harmless – Nor would anyone think she was if she was caught sneaking with or without the mask.

Thinking on it some more she found she rather liked the idea of unnerving random peoples of Konoha, they had certainly made effort to frighten and even harm her charge whenever they could.

Suspicious stares followed her when she ventured out, but no one stopped her. A grin bloomed underneath the mask. Oh dear, Kisame would be blowing a gasket come morn. He was rather fetching in a high temper, her last random thought before apparating was that she wondered if the man ever did bashful, and that she should try setting the man up with dates sometime in the near future.

Since Hari was in no hurry and attempting to be discrete-ish, she arrived in a familiar alley with more of a thwack than a crack.

No one seemed to be around so that was a good start. A quick notice-me-not spell and she was on her way to sleuth.

Things seemed peaceful enough. Some drunks over there, a patrol here.

Deciding to try feeling for and possibly observing a seal-carrier, she let her senses guide her.

A short time later found Hari frowning intently at the ground.

She was certain she was in the right place, but no person could be seen, heard or otherwise sensed. They were moving, underground? That was quite possible, tunnels were a common occurrence in her old world and surely in this one as well.

Another seal carrier approaching her location rapidly had Hari spinning on the spot to see them.

A large man with a whimpering sack on his back was speeding down the empty street towards her, a slender man with long black hair in hot pursuit.

Wait, whimpering?

The pursuer who was not Orochimaru as she had wondered at first glance, got close enough to engage the runner. The muffled cry of a child rent the air when the sack was unceremoniously dumped to advance the fight.

Realizing that this was likely a kidnap of some sort, Hari did what she must.

“Accio.” She said with a gesture at the wanted object.

The sack flew to her and she hastily untied it, revealing a small head of black-blue hair and large teary lilac eyes. The two fighters both cursed at the action before the bulky one changed his focus and sent a bolt of lightning her way.

“Protego!” Hari yelled since her cover was blown anyway, she hadn't tested out her new seals yet and with a child in her arms she wasn't willing to trust that neither of them might get hit. The shield did its duty taking the brunt of the attack, and with a whisk of a hand she dissipated the rest and went on the offensive as much as she could still taking care to watch the girl.

A swift bombarda spell reduced an incoming wall of rock to pebbles and dazed the attacker. Expelliarmus disabled his weaponry and silvery ropes flew from her each of her fingers like living things to hogtie the git till no part of him was capable of movement.

While hesitant, the lanky one too charged at her – Presumably to get the child.

“Immobulus.” She cast the spell in a wide arc so as to prevent him from evading, and he crumpled.

Seeing the similarities between him and the child, Hari went to catch the man to prevent a harsh landing and lowered him to the ground. Thus, she could not avoid seeing it.

“What.” Hari whispered, horrified as she ran her finger along the face of the rescuer where lines of a sickly green peeked out beneath the slightly displaced metal plate on his forehead.

“What is THIS?” She found herself hissing, pushing the headband all the way off.

The design was different, though it felt similar to the tongue-seal in nature. And this one, its exterior looked familiar in a way that made her bowels lurch.

“Aparecium.” She commanded, and watched the seal unfurl across his face and neck to reveal itself in its entirety.

Binding connection to several others, control though it seemed to hold no compulsion components, plenty of potential body-horror.

This.. Its only potential was torture and destruction. It was a modified prisoners seal. A modification of a highly restricted Uzu prisoners seal. Though appearances could be deceiving, this man did not appear to be a high-security prisoner.

“Who did this.” Hari growled, though the man of course was in no state to answer.

Little pebbles on the ground shook with her agitation, much to the distress of the child who ran to the side of the man with anguished cries of ‘uncle’.

“This man is your uncle?” Hari asked, reeling in her magic if only to lessen her fright.

“Y-yes.” The girl stuttered.

“What is your name, little one?” Hari asked, conjuring out a bloodied brush in her hand the next second.

“H-Hyuuga Hinata. W-what are you d-doing?”

Hari did not answer, busy as she was connecting lines and interrupting others while muttering obscenities to herself.

“Perfringo.”

The males mouth opened on a silent scream at Haris bid for the seal to dissolve. Satisfaction curled in her breast as the foul lines of ink and blood lit up eerily only to evaporate like bits of ash and smoke on the air.

All but the tiny components which would destroy the eyes upon death vanished, leaving naught but a thin line above each eye. Death was death after all, and one would have no need of their eyes after leaving with the reaper.

The process proved too much for the man however, who passed out cold like a marionette whos strings had been cut. A fitting image, Hari thought.

“Hinata! Hizashi!” An irate male identical to the one on the ground shouted from a ways away, a host of others running along-side him.

Welp. That was her cue. Surely she had caused enough mischief for one night. Oops.

“I take my leave little lady. Be well.”

In the blink of an eye, Hari was gone.

Chapter Text

Things in the village hidden in the leaf were tense.

Information surrounding the now dubbed ‘Hyuuga incident’ had spread like wild-fire even though the leadership had been tight-lipped on the details, and so too had the rumors of the Uzumaki being involved.

The kumo head-shinobi who had tried to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress had claimed foul-play of course, but all the evidence pointed to his guilt. The entire kumo delegation currently residing in T&I cells ought at least to help negotiations along, assuming that Kumo wanted her shinobi back hale and hearty.

Orochimaru suppressed a smile, silently listening to Hiruzen bickering with his counselors, his jonin commander and the anbu commander over security measures.

Jiraya beside him was equally silent.

“We should request to seal her chakra.” Homura said. “This is a very dangerous individual. Who can say what she will do next?”

“We cannot ask that.” Koharu countered. “This is a diplomatic visit, we do not seal diplomats chakras.”

“I would not recommend that course of action, either.” Shikaku drawled. “Even if she agreed to it, we have reason to believe she is highly proficient in the art of sealing. Who is to say it would hold?”

Jiraya grimaced and nodded his ascent.

“Can we even be sure that she is an Uzumaki?” Danzo mused. “I could claim to belong to any number of clans, that does not make it so.”

That was certainly a valid point, Orochimaru thought. Though she seemed to fit the bill well enough. Both in looks and from what he had seen of her personality the short time he was on Uzushio.

“Be that as it may she is coming. And I do not think we could disprove her heritage, either.” Homura grunted.

After several more rounds of arguments, 24 hour surveillance and extensive patrols both of the military police force and anbu was agreed on. As well as notifying the jonin and chunin to be on their guard.

In discussing the venue for the first meeting, Shikaku spoke up.

“The counsel of clan heads is demanding to be present for these proceedings, also. Therefore, utilizing the stateroom would be our best bet.” He said.

“Preposterous.” Danzo dismissed. “This is not a matter in which the clans should be invited, it is a head of state matter.”

“I’m sorry to contradict, but this matter firmly falls under the Konoha charter of clans. Even if the clan in question is all but extinct, and despite Uzumaki Naruto being our resident Jinchuriki.”

Shikaku looked like he was very sorry indeed to be disagreeing with Danzo, but stood his ground none the less.

“The Hyuuga are also personally involved. While forcefully keeping this matter contained is an option, it would cause unrest and quite possibly strife. Is it worth it?” He asked, slumping even more than usual in his seat.

Hiruzen closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples.

“No, it is not.” He said, ignoring the scandalized looks sent his way. “Very well, the clan heads will attend and we will use the stateroom.”

“Troublesome.” Shikaku sighed and stood up to make arrangements.

-----

“This is ridiculous.” Hari groaned at Mariko who was fussing and compulsively looking over her attire, smoothing out non-existent creases on her robe and the overlaying haori. She received a light slap on her arm for the comment.

There was definitely a Molly Weasly-ish vibe about this one Hari thought, as the lady proceeded to rant about the need for looking like a proper clan head after all the trouble she caused.

“Yes yes, I’m very sorry for worrying you all, alright?”

Kisame gave her the stink-eye from his spot and Hari absentmindedly rubbed on a bruise on her shoulder from when he had grabbed and shook her after she had returned in the dead of night looking as though she had been in a fight.. Which she had.

But still, what a brute.

Hari had discussed the seal she had dissolved with Mariko and an elderly scholar – Mayumi. who now served as her advisor in an official capacity. She didn’t mince her words which Hari appreciated even if they cut like knives sometimes.

Physical scrolls and artifacts could be reclaimed by whichever means she had said, but there was no such thing as seals copy-rights.

Even if the three of them vehemently agreed that applying such a seal nilly-willy was morally disgusting, fact was that ninja stole and used techniques to the detriment of others all the time.

And in any case, Hari had no claim on the Hyuuga and had, in the end, very reluctantly agreed that altering the seal in such a way had been an overstep on her part.

“Alright!” Mariko clapped her hands. “I think you’re ready to go.”

“Are you absolutely certain that you’re coming with?” She asked the room at large.

“Yes.” Chorused Mayumi, Kisame, Mangetsu, the demon brothers and her latest shinobi-recruit – A strange ex-kiri nin named Nurari.

Hari only knew that Nurari was a bloke because he had indicated so on the papers all newcomers had to fill out.

The mans style was very untraditional, he wore some kind of body-tight light blue slime suit that covered everything but his fingertips, his face and a tiny tuft of pink hair. He wore heavy make-up and could manipulate his body in ways no person should.

There was also an unhinged quality about him and he was an absolute troll sometimes, but he was reasonable and relatively nice none the less.

Hari would throw no stones as long as it wasn’t a danger, she was her own kind of weird AND she was friends with Hidan for Merlins sake.

Mayumi crossed her arms over her chest demonstratively.

“There are plenty of responsible adults left on the island, the whirlpools are churning and the barriers are in pristine condition. Everything will be fine.” She said. “We are not defenseless. And, in the unlikely scenario that it should become too dangerous, you will take us back to the island when you can.”

Hari could only smile at that.

She had been fine floating in the in-between alongside death. But it was nice, to have family and friends again.

“Yes, you’re right. M’sorry. Thank you.”

Mariko patted his cheek like the doting mother that she was, Mayumi harrumphed, Tsunade gave a dissatisfied grunt.

“Portus.” Hari muttered over the teapot she had chosen for their port-key. It was go-time.

-----

The Uzu-party touched down a mile or so away from the city gates to avoid causing alarm.

Kisame had volunteered to send one of his summons ahead to announce their imminent arrival, and Hari could only goggle as his messenger shark flew off towards the village entrance.

Massive flying messenger shark, amazing!

Hari spent the walk over to her supposed sister-village distracting herself by pondering what she might be able to summon if she tried to form such a connection.

Owls? Deer? Snakes?

In addition to ordinary animals, she had heard tale of several ‘fantastical beasts- summons' for lack of a better word – Even though this was not the wizarding world.

Sadly, her musings had to give way for business all too soon.

A small team of shinobi met them by the gates which was to be expected. Ah, familiar faces.

“Orochimaru-san.” Hari said with a smile and extended a hand for a handshake. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Likewise.” The man replied, and only eyed her hand for a breath before taking it and releasing after Hari gave it a shake. Ah, she kept forgetting that they didn’t really do that here.

She greeted Shikaku, then let her eyes pass deliberately over Jiraya to the next person. “Though I don’t know who you are.”

“Yamanaka Inoichi, at your service.” The man gave a respectful bow. “This way, if you please.” He said, prompting the party to move in the indicated direction while making pleasant small talk.

In no time at all they arrived at what Inoichi told them was the Hokage mansion, where the kage resided and conducted all official business.

Entering the venue for the days unpleasantries, they found themselves in a vast hall with a large table that wound around the whole thing like a horse-shoe, with seats all along the walls.

Almost every seat was taken. In the center of the room stood five chairs and a small table. Hari and her entourage took to them, excepting Tsunade who made her way over to one of the few available seats on the side.

“Uzumaki Hari, welcome.” The Hokage who was seated at a podium by the head of the “shoe” said. He didn’t look very welcoming however, nor did the three elders who were seated by him.

“I thank you, lord Hokage. It’s a pleasure to finally be here in an official capacity.”

A blatant lie.

“These are my counselors Shimura Danzo, Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu. Around the table sits the clan heads and elders of Konoha.”

“Well met.” Hari said to the lot of them and many inclined their heads to her.

She wondered whether it was a snub or not that she wasn’t told who the heads of clans all were, but supposed it at least saved time.

“My companions in short order.” Hari said. “My advisor Shimizu Mayumi, Gozu and Meizu, Hoshigaki Kisame, Nurari, and Hozuki Mangetsu.”

Saying the names aloud made Hari realize that she did have a rather impressive collection of people from mist. Perhaps she should make more effort to resc- er, recruit, shinobi from other villages. Where, for example, were all her former konohans? Food for thought.

“Before we begin todays proceedings.” Homura said. “You claim to be of Uzumaki heritage. Do you have any records of your lineage that we might look at?”

Mayumi stood from her seat to address the inquiry.

“We do not. Unfortunately much was lost during the destruction of Uzusiogakure, the area that held our archives in particular took heavy damage.” Hari heartily approved of the insinuation.

“Our rebuilding efforts are well on their way.” She demurred. “And should we come across such a thing, we might present it.”

“Very well.” The hokage replied, shifting his eyes to Hari. “We are happy to hear of your rebuilding. Might you tell us of your situation, where have you been all these years?

“I woke up some time after the massacre and was able to activate a number of emergency seals. ” Hari said. Not technically a lie.

“The village was in shambles when I came to.” She continued. “As I’m sure you can imagine the burial and cleaning efforts alone were considerable, and I had grown wary of outsiders.”

A pause to let that sink in.

“Since then I’ve been on Uzushio, rebuilding my home and honing my skills. Eventually I set out to find others of my kin.”

Not a single lie in that, well done Hari.

“What happened to the invaders?” Homura asked. “Surely they would not have left?”

“Dead to the last man.” Hari said without an ounce of remorse.

“If you don’t mind me asking.” The hokage said after a beat. “How old are you?”

“I am well in to adulthood.” Hari replied with as straight a face as she could muster. She wasn’t about to tell anyone that, how old did they think she must be?

“You have been meddling in our affairs.” The hokage accused, dropping the pleasantries.

“Yes.” Hari admitted. What was the point of denying the obvious?

It hadn’t really been her intention to cause trouble, and she fancied that she was expected to be sorry about the whole debacle.

“In addition to the situation with young Uzumaki Naruto, we also have reliable eye-witness accounts placing you in Konoha yesterday. Might you please explain your presence and actions?”

“Ah yes.” Hari said. “The person carrying the subjugation seal.”

“Long story short, I was doing the ninja-thing when I came across an attempted kidnap and, perhaps unwisely, I decided to intervene.”

Sorry, not sorry.

“As for the seals.. They are perverse adaptations of my heritage. I recognize my error in this case and should not have altered his seal without consent. However, I take issue with its use, and should like to speak with the makers.”

Several uneasy glances were thrown around.

Then, the tall one who could only be twin to the one called Hizashi stepped forth and inclined his head slightly in greeting.

“I am Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga clan. I thank you for your role in rescuing my daughter, and should like to discuss the matter with you when it is convenient.”

Hari nodded back with pleasant surprise. That level of respect and non aggression was, unexpected. The two elderly looking gentlemen at Hiashis back seemed surprised too, though they didn't appear pleased in the slightest.

“Wonderful.” She replied. “And the other one?” She asked, turning back to the podium where the Hokage sat.

Silence. Damning silence and no little degree of confusion.

“I am sure I do not know what you mean.” The Hokage said.

“You have at least two variations spread out among your general population, lord Hokage.” Hari answered drily. “There are at least 5 unfortunate holders in our general vicinity today.”

The heads of clans all looked at each other and the guards spread around the rooms.

"That, is not possible." Hyuuga Hiashi intoned, forehead creasing. "I have given my clan explicit orders to remain within our compound for the day." 

"And yet, so it is." Hari said resolutely. 

“A baseless claim to distract from the real issue.” Dismissed Shimura Danzo. “You have something of ours.”

“Do I?” Hari asked rhetorically. Deciding on the spot to let the seals-matter lie for now.

“Yes, indeed.” Rumbled the hokage. "Young Naruto is a ward of the state of Konoha, and as such you have no right to him.”

“I think.” Hari intoned calmly, swallowing down her irritation. “That you will find you are wrong on that account.”

There was absolute silence in the room, not counting the flickering auras from several parties.

“I am quite confident that you are familiar with clan law, most if not all of you being clan heads yourselves.” Hari said - And should she really need to tell them this?

“I am the reigning head of the Uzumaki clan, he is my kin and I have claimed him as my own.”

“That would be all good and well if you resided in Konoha, but you do not.” The hokage stated.

Hari pulled out a very old, very battered scroll from within the folds of her haori, and proceeded to smear blood on its seal.

Several people in the room jumped back and pulled out weaponry, one person toppled backwards off their chair and scrambled for cover underneath the table.

Hari blinked slowly at them, just what did they think she had pulled out?

Perhaps she wasn’t as good at hiding her aggravation than she though. Ah well.

“I am not unreasonable.” Hari said to the leader, unrolling the scroll and ignoring the rest of the room.

“As per the agreements made in the old alliance, I would be open to dual citizenship as well as lengthy visits – Provided of course, that the village-wide abuse of my baby cousin, stops.”

Hari could tell that more than one person wanted to argue this point going by the rising color on their faces alone, and a few seemed to have stopped breathing.

Danzo scoffed.

“The boy was orphaned. His misbehavior was such that he was kicked out of the orphanage and misliked by the general populous. We provided him with an apartment where he might live in peace and a stipend appropriate for his situation, Anbu on patrol would have intervened in the event that any misconduct might have jeopardized his life.”

This proved to be too much for Haris already fraying temper.

“Have you per chance noticed-” She said in a hiss that carried and made the hairs on Orochimarus arms stand on end. “That the child. Is barely FIVE years old?”

Barring Sarutobi, the old fogies at the front looked as though this meant nothing to them at all. Danzo, henceforth dubbed cockroach in Haris mind, even had the audacity to raise an eyebrow.

“Five. Years. Old.” Hari repeated.

“He is emaciated, generally unkempt, shunned, desperate for attention in ways no child should be. And. At the time of my intervention, he was well on his way to being battered. ”

Crickets could be heard in the utter silence that followed. There seemed to be a lot of that, the general stillness with so many present was its own damning sign in Haris opinion.

The hokage seemed to mull over his words before speaking next,

“The situation is not as simple as a matter of family.” He said using a grave tone of voice.

“You may not be aware of this as it is an S-class secret, but the boy is the current container of the Kyuubi no kitsune. One of nine tailed-beast given to the different nations by Senju Hashirama himself. There have been some unfortunate incidents in regards to Naruto, it is true. But none the less, the fox belongs in Konoha.”

Hari could not help the deep chuckle at the revelation of that oh so well kept secret.

It didn’t take a genius to guess that everyone knew.

More strangers than she had cared to count had thrown words like ‘demon’ and ‘beast’ at Naruto in the very short time she had watched him before whisking him to safety.

“Oh no lord hokage.” She said, standing up to lean her arms on their little table.

A less than friendly grin overcame her as quills and papers strewn on the tables rattled seemingly in sync with the rather more evil sounding chortle that left her mouth then.

“We know very well what resides inside Naruto, as well as the identity of the sealer and the circumstances that placed it there. It does not change my stance in the slightest. You should know too, that I am not above indiscriminate violence should there be any more.. Unfortunate incidents.”

“Ha! That there is an Uzumaki if I ever saw one.” Cackled a wild-looking lady with red triangles on her cheeks and a massive dog by her side whose teeth were bared much in the same ways Haris were.

“Hn.” Concurred a dark haired man, his red eyes twinkling with something akin to approval.

The interruption diffused the tense atmosphere somewhat which was lucky. Hari exhaled explosively and used her fingers to card through and hopefully semi-tame her hair that had somehow made it out of its braid.

The hokage cleared his throat loudly.

“Ahem. I do believe that we should, perhaps, let this issue rest for now. We will.. Consider your terms and see what can be done.” He said.

The board of people she didn’t like very much then proceeded to grill Hari on the hows of her entering and exiting Konoha, which was fair.

Unfortunately for them Hari invoked bloodline secrecy on almost all their questions, though she did agree to remove her ropes from the kumo-prisoner. Conjured things did not simply change back on their own after all.

Veiled insults and vague accusations were swiftly shot down by Mayumi-Obaasan who was a shrewd old thing, Hari counter her lucky stars that she didn’t have to deal with all of that.

Danzo in particular seemed to find Mayumi infuriating, and Hari was interested to see that she was not the only one who appeared to appreciate the way his knuckles tightened on his cane with every rebuttal.

“We need to make arrangements to discuss a few things in private with your Kage, if you have one?” He directed at Hari, voice dripping with slime.

“Aa. Not a problem.” Hari said, unsealing and placing her ugly hat on her head with one swing of her arm.

Several splutters and coughs of what might have been quickly smothered laughter were heard, as well as a harsh wheeze from one unfortunate guard who managed to inhale a senbon that had been hanging from his lips.

"Troublesome." Nara Shikaku muttered, and Hari could only agree with that. Whatever things they wanted to discuss was going to give her headaches no doubt.

Chapter Text

“Orochimaru.” Danzo said by way of greeting after having ventured in to his lab without an invitation. “I require an update on your progress.”

“It is slow going, but I am pleased to say that many of the recent subjects are doing well.” The fresh corpse he was working on currently stared with unseeing eyes.

Danzo hmmed in a doubting manner that absolutely infuriated Orochimaru, but he bit his tongue. It would not do to lash out.

“Tell me, Orochimaru. What do you make our Uzumaki renegade?”

“She is most likely what she says she is.” He answered, not looking up from his work lest he lose his temper. Apart from coming in uninvited, the man also had no care for lab protocol as evident by his waltzing in with no thought for possibly bringing contaminates.

Things were getting to a point where Orochimaru was unsure of how to proceed.

He’d had a thought at one time that this might help with his own seal design – And it had to an extent, but try as he might he had not found a way to rid himself of Danzos brand.

What, he asked himself, would be the point of a long life if it was to be spent in such conditions?

Orochimaru did not generally mourn the lives lost in his lab or out of it, those who were dead were dead, but loss of autonomy was a different matter entirely.

He would have had to be blind and deaf too not to notice that one of his charges, Kabuto, had been recruited to the blasted mans organization. For what purpose Orochimaru did not know nor did he particularly care. It was, unacceptable.

“I want you to approach this.. This Uzumaki.” Danzo ordered with a disdainful curl to his lips. “She has one of our greatest weapons in her possession and we need more information.”

“Very well.” Orochimaru answered levelly. Truth be told he was intensely curious about Uzumaki Hari himself, though reporting back to Danzo would no doubt be a trying ordeal.

“I shall approach her. Now leave me to my work, it is rather delicate and I should hate to make mistakes on count of.. Interference.”

“See to it that you don’t.” Danzo sneered, though he made a hasty retreat when Orochimaru finally raised his head and turned his way, danger etched on every feature.

Unable to outright attack him he may be, but Orochimaru was far from harmless.

-----

Hari let her forehead thunk on to the table, grasping blindly for the drink that Kisame had volunteered to get her. It obligingly dragged across the table and in to her hand.

The revelation of her kageship had unsurprisingly caused quite the tizzy.

“Stop your moping.” Mayumi chided. “This has gone as well as could be expected even with the servings of horseshit, we are returning to Uzushio with strengthened bonds and beginnings of an agreement.”

That was true Hari thought, but everything about this had still left a bad taste in her mouth. That Danzo had been particularly vexing during the more private audience with the hokage, what was his deal?

Hari had done her research before coming to Konoha, and had heard someone refer to this man as ‘war-hawk’ but they were mistaken. Hari held firmly to her impression that this man was a bug. Her foot twitched, but no, squashing the big mans right hand man would be a bad idea.

Ugh.

“My my, you certainly have a way with words.” An amused voice said.

“Oh hey. Are you making fun of me?” Hari asked, raising her head from its resting spot to face Orochimaru who had been leaning on a wall but now approached her table.

It had been a most exhausting and stressful day. It was lucky Kisame had agreed that they could venture out for drinks and spend the night before hopping back home, because the need to numb her senses had been strong after everything.

“Not at all, Uzumaki-hime. It was.. A refreshing display.”

Uzumaki-hime? Hari mouthed the words to herself and found they tasted funky. She disliked honorifics in general, just wasn’t used to them and had to make real effort not to muck them up.

“I may be many things, but a princess isn’t one of them. Whatever happened to Uzumaki-san?”

“Ah, but I am but a humble subject of Konoha.” Orochimaru replied. “Would you prefer Uzukage-sama?”

“Merlins pants no, I consider myself a temporary Kage stand-in at best. Call me Hari.” She muttered with a grimace. “Though, seeing as you’re one of the densetsu no sannin I recon you can probably call me whatever you wish.”

A server slunk over to hand Orochimaru a drink he must have ordered, then scampered off in a hurry.

“Who or what is Merlin?” He asked, ignoring the latter statement. “I have heard you use that particular sentence and variations of it several times now.”

“Oh, uh.” Hari hesitated, unsure of what to say to that. Somehow nobody had asked before, and she hadn’t ever worried about her odd phrases.

Well it couldn’t hurt.. And reminiscing just a little while pleasantly buzzed would be nice.

“Merlin, is a strange character from a story I heard as an adolescent. For whatever reason we started saying stuff about Merlins various pieces of clothing or anatomy in place of regular swearing.”

Orochimaru hmmed and said that he’d never heard of such a tale, nor had he heard the name from anywhere other than Hari. It was a peculiar name he said, and he would have remembered.

“Well no, you wouldn’t have.. It was a long time ago, and not here either.”

Orochimaru eyed her up and down several times while sipping his wine looking like sin incarnate.

“Indeed.” He said, not sounding convinced in the slightest.

The pretty snake then proceeded to ask Hari about day to day life on Uzushio, and then of their neighbors.

“The islands surrounding Uzushiogakure seemed in a decent state when we visited, much different from areas further on.”

“Mm” Hari nodded.

“The chief there seemed to hold you in high regards, and was quite reluctant to speak on the hows of their climb towards betterment.” Orochimaru leaned back on his side of the bench to drape an arm over the backrest and take another sip of wine while maintaining eye contact. Had his shoulders always been that wide? The mesh and slightly open robe was a nice touch. The face, well..

He looked a bit like he might be considering unhinging his jaws to swallow her whole Hari thought, and she found herself wondering if this was another soft-core interrogation, or if she might be on an accidental date of sorts.

“I have experience with, what shall we call it, advanced gardening?” She hedged.

After using short term measures such as duplicating individual food items, Hari had taken a leaf out of Hagrids book and used enchantments to make barren fields more fertile and fruit trees grow better. Had even introduced a few new species after extensive research on the eco-system.

“And what of the Sanbi? My bingo-book says you had a hand in that, as well.”

“Oh, he’s around.” Hari answered cryptically.

“Don’t tell me.. Did you, seal him?” Orochimaru asked with no little amount of glee and a mien that suggested christmas might have come early (If that was a thing in the elemental nations)

“Not quite, but you’re getting warmer~” She teased, unwilling to divulge details on this to Konoha. No doubt there were dozens of ears listening in on their conversation.

Fact was that the still horse sized sanbi, now mostly called Isobu, had taken residency in one of the local caves by the large river.

It had taken him some time to come out of his shell so to speak, and the locals naturally needed some time to get used to him as well - But it had all gone better than Hari could have imagined.

Isobu was shy but friendly, and was now frequently seen puttering around with a child or three on his wide back or otherwise letting them hold on to his tails while he swam around.

"I knew of an Uzumaki, she was 6 years of age when Uzusiogakure was destroyed.” Orochimaru drawled. “You must have been very young. I am curious, how did you rid yourself of what was no doubt a substantial amount of invaders?”

“With extreme prejudice.” Hari smiled in to her drink. “Do you doubt my battle prowess, O-ro-chi-ma-ru?” Hari couldn’t quite say what had come over her, or why she would ask that.

“Perhaps, a friendly spar?”

“Mm.. I used to like dueling.” Hari hesitated. “But I am a little drunk? ”

She wasn’t terribly keen on the idea. She was nowhere near shitfaced drunk but there was a certain voldemort-ish vibe to this man that put her on edge even if she did so far enjoy his company.

Snake-like appearance aside, she wondered if this man wouldn’t have wound up in slytherin house.

Hari muttered something along the lines of being a little out of practice and not wishing to do damage.

“Come now.” Orochimaru wheedled after yet another drink and some menial chatter about Konoha. “Surely a little alcohol is a minor inconvenience at most, and I promise you that I am durable.”

“Oh I just bet you are.” Hari muttered to herself in english, then wrenched her mind back out of the gutter laughing feebly and waving away his request for her to repeat her words.

“O-Oh, well, I suppose?” She ended up answering reluctantly after yet another request for a spar. She did train with her Uzu peoples, surely she could manage. She’d just stick to using small-stuff? Yes.

“Excellent, this way.” Orochimaru said putting down his drink decisively and motioning to the door.

-----

Orochimaru led the small procession to a clearing a little ways outside the village, it was obviously some kind of training ground with different terrains and massive forests surrounding it.

“This is a terrible idea.” Kisame muttered. Mangetsu though was all for it and pondered aloud if he might get a spar as well. Nurari and the demon brothers shrugged, Mayumi cackled.

“Shall we begin?” Orochimaru asked. Not waiting for an answer he raised both his arms and a virtual torrent of snakes shot out from his sleeves.

Hari opened her mouth wide in surprise and hissed at the snakes to ‘Piss the fuck off!’

The streams of snakes dissolved in to a very confused mass of knots, all slithering over each other and gibbering frantically about speakers and what to do.

Some tried to return physically to where they came from without knowing how to and ducked in to Orochimarus robes, attempting to climb up his legs judging by all the wriggling and the sharp intake of breath of their master.

“What was that? ” Orochimaru questioned, justifiably baffled at the snakes behavior. “No, get off.” He bit out, pulling what looked like a rather insistent little boa constrictor out of the folds of the upper part of his robe.

“I’m a person of many talents~” -Hari laughed, and decided to add an extra layer to the wriggling before he could manage to get them all off.

“Rictusepmpra!” Hari called out.

Orochimaru did not double over laughing like Hari had hoped, but he took a half step and something like a choking sound left him before he vanished in a blur.

From the way the dirt scuffed Hari figured that he hadn’t teleported but moved very fast and she hastened to get out of dodge.

Where was he? She wondered, crouched as she was now at the edge of some trees.

The creepiest giggle Hari had ever head in her life of “I’ve found you.” from just beside her head had her eeping and apparating a short ways away.

Orochimarus head however zoomed right at her from the bushes and his neck wound around her body several times. Wow that was weird.

“This is a very unpleasant jutsu, hime.” He tittered, tightening around her like a boa constrictor. ”Is it genjutsu?"

The giggle, oh gods it had to go.

“Forry aboup phap. Finite.” Hari managed even though there was somebodys neck in her mouth.

“Much obliged.” He said and boy that creepy grin might rival hers.

Instead of his head retreating, Orochimarus body came flying to join it and it was making hand-signs.

Hari couldn’t apparate like this and pulsed her chakra harshly like a full body blast, this also served to light up her seals which had her opponent detaching from her person immediately.

A hail storm of shuriken coming her way was transfigured in to a flock of angry geese. “Oppugno.” She ordered, and they flew at Orochimaru who incinerated a good portion of them –which- mean!

The fireball kept going in Haris direction and she stuck her hands out as though holding a large ball to stop it dead in its track. Pumping out magic to give it some extra ‘ompf’ she sent it hurtling right back, it failed to fry Orochimaru but set a rather large chunk of forest ablaze.

Oops.

A slew of elemental attacks cast and repelled in all directions by both parties followed this, neither able to hit the other.

Though Hari knew a lot of jutsu by now, her handsigning just wasn’t fast enough to be effective against an opponent of this calibre and she wasn’t about to use her deadlier arsenal. She was however an expert dodger with oodles of defenses and trickery up her sleeve.

At some point, Kisame appeared and threw himself in to the fray despite having opposed the spar.

Things devolved to a three way brawl of sorts where Hari dodged everything but landed no hits, and the other two managed to hit one another occasionally.

She did of course contribute generously with things such as curse of the bogies in sweet harmony with the bat bogey hex. Watching Kisame sneeze and swat snot-bats with increasing disgust was hilarious.

“Uuh I think we should probably address that.” Hari said pointing at the growing fire that just then gave an rather large ‘fwump’ having reached what seemed to be some sort of particularly flammable pine section.

Kisame obliged by releasing what had to be a large lake-worth of water over the entire area.

“Are you done wreaking havoc?” Sighed Shikaku, and when had he got there? Come to think on it, when had they amassed such a crowd?

“Yeah Hari, are you quite done?!” A particularly large snot bat burst all over Samehada and Kisame exclaimed in disgust.

“How are you doing that?” Orochimaru asked Hari who unlike the others was levitating above the water rather than standing on its surface.

“Made myself light and used some chakra.” Hari shrugged. “Seemed the better option.” She ached for a broom, but sadly didn’t have one yet.

A sonic boom like a jet breaking the sound barrier immediately followed by shockwaves so strong that the trees bent caused all eyes to swivel to the north. Not even a second later saw Orochimaru sprinting that way closely followed by everyone else.

Hari, recognizing the presence of the bloody reaper did one better and turned on the spot to appear with a thunder-clap in the place where its aura was so strong she could practically taste it.

Quickly taking stock of the situation she found one man about to defend against 6 swordsmen with Kirigakure headbands who looked like they were preparing for wholesale slaughter.

A group of other shinobi looked torn between fighting or staying out of the way, except for one who had started to glow green and was screaming for his father to stop.

Hari had no qualms on what to do with trespassing swordsmen from kiri.

Using every ounce of speed she possessed she rushed to the aid of the beast of a man now so thoroughly enveloped in death that his skin changed its color and the very air around him glowed red and morphed in to a giant dragon when he rushed the invaders.

In a fit of inspiration Hari pulled on death too and donned a similar cloak, Her still blazing tattoos reminiscent of the fiery cracks on the others surface.

Flesh and bone parted ways with their owners as the one Konoha shinobi and Hari came upon them like vengeful gods. They attempted to fight back of course, but between the mans speed and massive expenditure of life-force and Haris rapid-fire curses they stood no chance.

“Sectumsempra!” Hari roared at the stickman with the Nuibari sword and he burst in to fleshy ribbons that could not be sewn back together. The exploding sword was next for her as the other man shied from the explosive tags in favor of throttling one with an axe and club combination.

Hari figured it was only right to return the fire tenfolds and smiled as she used a modified bombarda maxima to make it blow itself up from the inside. The detonation fueled by spell and what must have been an ample supply of tags was magnificent.

The fight as it was, ended almost as soon as it had began. No swordsmen still standing and massive destruction to the area.

“Everything! Everything is broken! You idiot man!” Hari shouted futilely even as death extended their hand to reap the soul from the corpse of her co-fighter who looked more like a massive piece of coal now than anything else.

The one who was presumably the mans son wept and pleaded but Hari could think of no way to salvage this. If she could have healed the damage then she might have stalled the reaping, but even with her spells and runes this one was too far gone. She was the master of death after all, not of life.

“I’m very sorry.” Hari laid her hand on his shoulder for comfort when the essence of what had just a minute ago been a breathing person, departed with death. “He has gone.”

Maito Dai was laid to rest on a Tuesday, and Konoha found herself with several bargaining chips to possibly secure a treaty with the hidden Mist. Wednesday the Uzu delegation returned to their home.

Chapter Text

A few days after their return to Uzushio, Hari encountered a team of shinobi in clear distress.

She might have intervened regardless.. Oh who was she kidding of course she would have. But recognizing two of them certainly made deciding who to subdue first easier.

A few stunners got the most of them, and one of the entourage – A freakishly fast spiky haired one whom she had denied entry when she had last seen him, cut down the rest, red eyes spinning like shuriken.

“The Uchiha wishes to liaise with the Uzumaki.” The rather grouchy looking brown haired man that she had seen on the Konoha council of clan heads declared when the threat was gone.

“Do they?” Hari wondered out loud. “Whatever for, mister..?”

“Uchiha Fugaku.” He said, surprising her with a respectful nod of his head.

“My companions are Uchiha Shisui.” He gestured to the spiky-black haired one. “And Uchiha Tekka.” Both men nodded a greeting, and she returned it.

“Might we take this conversation inside the safety of your home?” Fugaku asked. “This visit is sanctioned, but as you can see we ran in to trouble regardless.”

Hari would freely admit to feeling wary of this suggestion, but she supposed.. Well this one had at least seemed to sympathize with her rant at the Konoha council and.. Aaah shit.

“Well..” Hari sighed. “Oh I suppose, yes fine.” She said, managing not to look too disgruntled about the prospect.

She didn’t really have reason to think that they would try anything, but made sure to double and triple check her occlumancy defenses none the less.

“Here.” She said, extending her arms. “Grab my sleeves, and hold on tight.”

The three shinobi did so with varying levels of puzzlement, Hari offered no explanation and turned on the spot.

With the usual sound of a lightning-strike they all appeared just outside the barrier. All three visitors stumbled, but the one called Tekka was unfortunate enough to lose his lunch. Ew.

Shame the pretty snake-man with ebony hair didn’t seem to be part of this cult, clan whatever. Hari felt a bit startled by the intrusive thought, and the realization that she wouldn’t mind seeing that obvious slytherin again.

“Uh.” She said, mentally shaking this somewhat disturbing thing till it rattled away for later inspection.

“Put your hands on the barrier, ill intent will be met with immediate fiery death yada yada. If you harbor ill intentions towards Uzu or her inhabitants please spare me the smell of your burnt flesh and just go back home. Yes?”

The Uchiha all looked at her warily, but then one after the other touched the barrier and were approved.

“Hold out one hand each to me so that I can give you a one-time entry seal, please.” Hari said, feeling a little put upon when two of them seemed even more worried about the seal than the prospect of possibly fiery death.

Shisui who was already familiar with this having seen her mark others on his last attempted held his hand out, however.

“It’s the only way to enter.” Hari sighed. “I swear it won’t do anything else and it will disappear whenever you leave the barrier.”

Reluctantly, the other two extended their hands for the seal and together they all went through the barrier.

Hari was surprised to learn the reason the Uchiha wanted to speak with her, and made it known.

“Sorry, what?” She questioned nonplussed. “You want me to make a seal. For your eyes?”

“Without the slave aspects, yes.” The head of the Uchiha clan said, arms crossed defensively.

After the whole debacle with the Hyuuga, Konoha in general and their MASSIVE abuse of seal-work, Hari was not sold on this idea.

“Why?” Hari asked to buy herself time to think. She could imagine several possible whys but, well yeah..

Fugaku seemed to be doing some thinking on his own, but eventually answered that he had reason to believe that they were being deliberately targeted by forces within the village which they had helped found.

Well that much was believable Hari thought.

“Eyes can be transplanted. My clan holds a rather prominent dojutsu.” Fugaku said, then hesitated on his next words. “What I am about to say is a clan secret.” He sighed as though it could not be helped.

“I trust that you can keep secrets?”

Hari confirmed that she could indeed, and that she would as long as it did not directly put any of hers in danger.

When Fugaku started speaking next, the words looked like they cost him.

“It is done within the clan sometimes, eye-swapping that is. It’s quite rare, and always with consent.. But for this reason we would need it to be modifiable and to not destroy the eye upon death, merely in the case of unauthorized eye-removal. Recently..”

Fugaku sighed again, and this time he sagged looking as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.

“Recently, we have had a few instances where some of ours have turned up dead when they shouldn’t be. Without their eyes.”

Eyeball-theft Hari thought incredulously. What the fuck..

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” She said truthfully. “You understand, of course, that I am hesitant to hand out such seals given what I found in Konoha?”

Fugaku nodded gravely.

“I do. And I would agree to certain.. Security measures on your part, safeguards? But the workings of the seal can not be accessible to the Konoha council, or the Hokage.”

Hari let out a scoff at that.

“That foolish old man and his hateful cronies? Yes I can see why not. I will.. Think on this some and make up a draft for us discuss further.” She conceded at last. The wish to protect their own was something she understood intimately after all, she hoped to high heavens this wasn’t a mistake on her part.

The trio perked up at her words looking like intensely hopeful wide-eyed cats.

“You will?” Fugaku breathed, sounding almost bewildered at her agreement to help and Hari had to wonder about that.

How badly off were they, that her willingness to maybe-help made them look at her as though she might be the sun peeking out from a cloudy sky?

“We would of course compensate you for this.” Fugaku said, drawing up his back with dignity and clearing his throat.

“I don’t want to be someone known for selling seals.” Hari said. “But.. I could use some help with establishing a proper law enforcement unit? You run some sort of police force in Konoha, no? Pretty sure I saw some with your jawline and shiny red eyes policing?”

“I.. Yes.” Fugaku agreed at once. “I do, and that is an acceptable price. Perhaps.. While you work on your draft, we will come up with a proposal also?”

“Agreed.” Hari said, holding her hand out for a handshake - Yet again forgetting that this wasn’t the custom. Fugaku took it though and Hari gave one shake before remembering herself and letting go.

Thus started her cooperation with the Uchiha clan of Konoha.

------

Trading on the nearby islands was always a delight Hari thought. Uzu inhabitants had plenty of varied items to part ways with in exchange for coin or other goods.

The crowds greeted them all with smiles, and Hari was especially well liked for her general contributions to their continued well being.

Reverent mutters of Uzukage-sama still happened now and then even though she left the daft hat in one of her seals barring anything official, but most of them greeted her like an old friend and that was how she preferred it.

Former street urchins now inhabiting an orphanage of sorts gathered around her in a flock, holding out various food-items for her to duplicate and she did so happily. She was especially thrilled having seen some of the vendors waving them over before-hand to slip them said items with wide grins.

The back of her neck prickled unpleasantly. She cast her eyes over the crowds but could see no unusual watchers nor any sort of disturbance. Hm.

Hari was in the middle of perusing some fine silks when Kairi - The head woman of this little village marched up to her with a serious mien rather than her usual boisterous one. That was Haris second clue that something was amiss.

When she was addressed by title rather than name, her hopes that this was simply a matter of the woman getting out of bed on the wrong foot were quickly dashed.

“Uzukage-sama.” She said and bowed, which made the last few silent alarm bells in Haris head start chiming. “There is someone here to see you.”

No, please no. Hari thought. She’d had enough visitors for the month hadn’t she? And someone who had upset the cheerful and sturdy head-woman no less?

Kisame who was the most senior shinobi with her today had of course noticed, and when he followed after Hari and Kairi so did the others. Hari waved them off and told them to stay, but agreed that Kisame could come just in case.

They were led not to the womans house, but out to one of the fields of fruit trees Hari had previously created on the outskirts of the village. One bored looking blonde was munching on an apple, seemingly trying to ignore the antics of his fellow

“Ryujin!” The stranger with a creepy-looking mask said in a high, childishly enthusiastic voice. The man was bouncing on the toes of his feet, and gesticulating wildly in Haris direction as though the other person couldn’t see her. “We finally found you! Deidara-Senpai! She’s here!”

“Shut UP, Tobi.” The named Deidara said with a twitch over one eye, making the one called Tobi splutter and wilt comically.

“Uzumaki-san, hello.” Deidara greeted, pushing off from the tree he had been leaning on.

“Hello.” Hari answered warily. While she didn’t know these ones, they were wearing disturbingly familiar cloaks of black and red. Bollocks and fucking arse.

“How can I help you?” She asked, regretting the turn her nice day had taken.

She remembered the fights they’d all put on with Hidan, they had happened right outside of her home after all.

“Leader is very interested to speak with you, un.” The blonde one said. The black haired one wiggled and flapped his arms enthusiastically as though in agreement.

“Are they?” Hari asked. She knew very well why they had wished to parlay with Hidan, and wasn’t at all eager for that kind of talk.

“This isn’t a good time.. Perhaps at a later time?” Hari hedged, and took a step back to apparate.

“Wouldn’t want anything happening to this lovely town.” The blonde said, idly inspecting his painted fingernails before meeting her eyes. “Know what I’m sayin, un?”

Oh Hari got the message loud and clear, and threatening her locals was not. On.

Luckily, her very paranoid self had prepared for just such an occasion.

In a swirl of cloth she reappeared at their backs. They were fast to react of course, but not so fast that she couldn’t get her hands on the tail-ends of their flapping cloaks and spirit them away.

Reappearing some ways away from the orchard she disengaged immediately and they each sprung away from her as well.

Raising her left foot, Hari released an unholy amount of chakra down through her leg and tapped her toe once on the ground. Four massive violet pillars from pre-arranged seals sprung up to meet in the middle and expand out, shielding the little village behind ominously shimmering walls.

Some of hers were still in there, and hopefully they would be able to prevent whole-sale slaughter in case the opposition had people in there too.

Hari tilted her head and squinted at the masked one who had gone very still and silent, much unlike the persona he had displayed a moment ago. What was going on with that one.

“..Oh?” Hari said in a tone that plainly threatened murder when a red glint within the hole of the mask caught her eye.

Was it time to regret her dealings with the Uchiha clan already?

The tell-tale tingles of nearby seal-work was also present, and that too was suspicious. Just like magic left traces so did fuinjutsu, and something with how the energy in the masked one routed itself was inherently wrong.

“What do you want.” Hari said, deciding that it was best to just get to the point. “Speak plainly.”

The blonde told her what she already knew from Hidan, that they were an organization of shinobi battling for the sake of world peace, and that they wanted her in their ranks.

“I’m sorry to say that I will have to decline.” Hari answered. She was not sorry at all in actuality, but figured for appearance sake, diplomacy and whatnot..

“I have commitments elsewhere as you likely know, please leave us be.” Hari said trying somewhat to possibly diffuse the situation.

“We can’t do that, un. You’ll come with us whether you want to or not.” Deidara said, and Hari was surprised to note the slightly displeased tilt to his lips at the last statement. They couldn’t possibly have expected her to just come willingly..?

The answer to that was no, naturally, and a vicious and incredibly frustrating battle followed. Invisibility Hari had dealt with before but intangibility was new and she did not like it.

“Bombarda maxima!” She yelled, pointing up at the.. Bird? All the while dodging seemingly living explosives which rained down from above.

She could have sworn the man who jumped off as it hit looked pleased by the enormous explosion, right up until the searing heat as well as a livid looking Kisame reached him.

“Get him alive!” Hari bellowed at the blue blur now engaged in combat, before meeting a blast of lightning with a torrent of water and sending the resulting electrical inferno back at the other who simply let it float through him.

“Oh you nasty twat!” She spat when Tobi somehow sucked himself in to some sort of vortex and she couldn’t sense him anywhere.

Hari did in no way wish for a prolonged fight but was also wholly unwilling to let either one return with information that she had refused their request. Had he already ran off?!

She needn’t have worried however, because he appeared right at her front out of a similar airy spiral the next second and stuck a sword through her sternum.

Fecking OW, Hari thought and bared her teeth in a bloodied grimace. “Obliviate!” She snarled with what air she could muster right in his stupid eye-hole.

A moment of perceived shock and then the man was flung from her with a harsh expel of molten chains from her torso to his, though she immediately drew them back in and the man rolled ass over tea kettle a few times and came to a heavy stop

“Bollocks!” She needed information in case this was related to the Uchiha in any way shape or form, why had she done that?!

Cursing herself ten ways to hell she sped to the prone form to assess the damage. It was immediately clear from his large wounds however that something was terribly off.

“Bloody hell this one’s even worse!” She hissed through the tell-tale steam of her own healing airways.

Hari muttered strings of curses while her hands flew over the chest of the prone wanker, one wielding a sealing brush and the other currently using highly experimental medical magic, which – She had no idea how she was using it but there she was.

At least the worst this could do was probably to kill the man dead, she was hoping not to but it wasn’t looking good at all. She spared a millisecond to scowl at the shadowy patch of trees where she could literally feel Death hoovering before turning her attentions fully on to her latest mess.

There was a seal on the inside! The inside!

Merlins left nut, this had better be the worst of it and where and how and WHY had this been done exactly?!

“Eugh, eughh! What even is this stuff?!” Hari exclaimed in disgust, dimly registering a somewhat singed Kisame arriving with a blonde slung over his shoulder.

The texture of the tissue she tried to work with was not the meaty one she’d had the unfortunate pleasure of patching up before on herself and others, more a slimy kind of clay-ish - And there were no bones on the right side of his body!

Everything about this person was quite frankly freaking her out.

“An Uchiha?” Kisame questioned, mirroring Haris thoughts from before.

“Fuck if I know.” Hari shot back, liberally smearing bloody scribbles over exposed heart and surrounding white gunk. “Might be an eye thief but the phenotype certainly seems a good match. Is that one properly out?”

“Yep, not gonna be waking up in a hurry. Gozu and Meizu are gonna chew you out over leaving them behind you know.” Kisame drawled.

Yes Hari did know and was quite certain that Kisame had bones to pick with her too, but had few braincells to spare at the moment. The seal was unravelling as it should but the foreign malicious chakra within was threatening to take the epicenter with it.

“I need Mariko, this is beyond me.” Hari said, drawing stasis runes around everything that seemed to be failing as fast as her hands could manage, which was pretty damn fast with her own seals active.

“Let’s go.” She said hefting her bleeding and oozing burden up, knocking her toe down again to dismantle the shield.

In a flash, they returned to Uzushio with their new burdens.

Neither Mariko, Mayumi nor any of her shinobi were at all impressed.

Chapter Text

Uchiha Obito had arrived in Uzushio on a Friday, though his name went unknown as he had been severely affected by Haris unfortunate choice of spell.

Mariko had infused him with her life-saving essence - Just as baffled at his anatomy as Hari had been - And Hari had managed to remove every trace of the abomination that had somehow wound up on his heart, locking it down in a scroll for later perusal.

The newcomer was sealed and generally secured to the gills afterwards - Considering the circumstances of their meeting, but for all the effort he made to do anything hostile or wrong at all Hari might not have bothered.

The mask as well as the cloak was gone, though if he was at all bothered by revealing the scarring on his face he didn’t show it.

The man had seemed generally worse for wear the first few weeks, though at least basic functions remained. When he did move other than to eat or go relieve himself, he spent hours on end trailing after Naruto like a lost puppy.

Natuto of course being who he was had taken to the man like fire on tinder, and spent endless amounts of time prattling happily at his new.. Friend.

The man had so far not said a single word to any of them, and Naruto had proudly and loudly announced that since he didn’t seem to have a name, he was now Arata.

Hari really hoped she hadn’t actually obliviated away the newly dubbed Aratas’ ability to speak, she never had been very adept at that particular spell.

There was a good reason why the ministry of magic had a separate department of obliviators after all, wiping a pre-determined set of memories while leaving others intact was difficult at the best of times.

What Hari had done was.. Well, possibly something along the lines of what Rons broken wand did to Professor Lockheart back in the day. An uncoordinated blast more than anything, and they would just have to wait and see what the damage was.

After a while ‘Arata’ started doing other things, like helping the elderly blacksmith by carrying steel here and there, weeding gardens for some of the little old ladies and to Narutos delight – Catching and feeding fish to the few cats they had in their little village.

Hari hoped this was an innate trait of his personality and a good sign of his possible character, because soon enough Naruto started following, proclaiming that as the hokage he had to help all his citizens.

It was.. Oddly, tooth-rottingly sweet. In a bizarre kind of way.

If she was honest, the matter of the one called Deidara had been much more troublesome.

Unlike Arata, that one had to be physically restrained in a cell to not run away or cause harm and Hari made sure that none other than a trusted few had contact with him to keep information leaked to a minimum.

The blonde bomber had been angry about his capture, abrasive and wholly unwilling to cooperate.

Hari wanted information from him, yes, but not so much that she was willing to torture and sadly she had no veritaserum on hand. He was also strangely resistant to legillimency which was annoying.

What information she had gleaned had mostly been about his.. Art. The fact that he regularly blew up unsuspecting villages, and that he had been coerced in to joining the Akatsuki where he more or less stayed willingly as long as nobody stopped his destruction.

Hari.. Wasn’t sure what to do with that.

She held no personal grudges against the man for all that he had been sent to recruit her. She was keeping Arata, but the bombers obsession with, well bombing, as well as his continued anger seemed a bad fit.

Hidan of course could always be counted on to come in like a wrecking ball.

Against her better judgement, Hari had coded him in to the blood-wards which would allow him entrance barring hostile intent. Something she learned to regret when she heard his not so dulcet tones next.

“I’M BA-ACK!! HEY SCARFACE CLEAR A FUCKING PATH!” Hidan screamed shrilly at Obito who flinched back as though punched.

He seemed to find some wits though because he grabbed the nearby children and ran for cover just as the zealot yelled “YAH-HOO!” And charged past them like a demented bull – Heading for the cells.

One almighty crash later saw Hidan sprinting off with a dazed Deidara with several shinobi in hot pursuit. As it was he got far enough to throw Deidara the last 30 feet, and he sailed straight out through the barrier in to the waiting arms of a massive hulking form because unfortunately Hari hadn’t thought to prevent people from exiting.

Hari who was late to this questionable party descended with murder on the brain and got Hidan with a barrage of stunners that would have killed any mortal man – Did kill him actually, and sent a freezing spell on the barrier effectively locking them down and obscuring any outside view.

“Fucking hell.” Hari cursed, and spared her shinobi carrying the corpse by way of levitation spell.

She took him to the side of Uzushio that was still mostly rubble, tied him to a stone pillar with McGonagalls signature ropes and sat down to wait.

Like she knew he would, Hidan woke up with a coughed out “Ow.”

“Hidan.” Hari all but growled. “An explanation if you please.” She underlined her demand with a burst of chakra so abrasive that his skin started blistering and a very final. “Now.”

“Oy oy calm your tits, didn’t kill anyone did I?!” Hidan wheezed, waving his hands frantically to appease even knowing that he hadn’t. Kisame tsked loudly and volunteered to lop his arms off, though he stayed back so as not to get caught up in Haris personal inferno-zone.

“No.” Hari bit out and let down the heat some. “You didn’t. What the hell were you thinking with this though?!”

“Fuck that stings, you’re one terrifying bitch.” The lunatic cackled, poking at a particularly large welt – Which burst.

“I had to dontcha know?” He said. “Word spreads fast and leader was pissed as all hell, I’m the rescue mission. Well me and that danm Kakuzu, couldn’t refuse.”

“Of course you are.” Hari rubbed at the bridge of her nose. She supposed it was foolish of her to assume that no-one would come looking.

“If I let you lose, are you going to make me regret it?” Hari asked warily. “Arata is one of mine now, you can’t take him.”

“Arata?” Hidan repeated looking non-plussed.

“The Uchiha, with the scarring.” She clarified, but that didn’t seem to make Hidan any the wiser. “The one who wore the orange mask?”

“What - Tobi?! Tobi is an UCHIHA?? Wait wait -” Hidan made to whistle as though calling for time-out but failed due to his lips being burned and just whooshed out air instead.

“You have Tobi, and you want to KEEP HIM?! That guy is an annoying ditz and coming from me you know that’s saying something. Didn’t even recognize the fucker, figured he must have ran for it.”

“Well I may have.. Accidentally.. Violently lobotomized him, just a little.” Hari muttered and scratched the nape of her neck in discomfort.

Hidan laughed and laughed and laughed at that, and hickuped that he’d leave him be and to please not ever aim whatever that had been his way. Yes, he had actually said please.

“Oh yeah.” He said in a more serious mien when the laughing had died out. “So the Akatsuki are hunting the tailed beasts. Want them for some grand plan of world peace by mass murder. Figured you might wanna know that.”

“Sorry, what?” Hari said, because surely she couldn’t have heard that right. “What did you just say?”

“Yep, rounding them up and sucking them dry in to some statue with a large mouth and creepy eyes.”

Hari had to ask him to please clarify that, but other than ‘no not their dicks, their chakra get your head out of that gutter’ Hidan didn’t know very much about it, nor did the other members as far as he was aware.

“And what about Naruto, do they know he’s here? And Isobu?” She questioned urgently.

“Naw.” Hidan said. “We’re mostly just collecting bounties at this point anyways. Ran in to some Han guy by chance and let me tell you that was one hell of a fight.” He grinned wildly even while lamenting the fact that Jashin would have loved to have him.

“Ah. But they probably will find out at some point. So let me tell you about this one suna bastard, Sasori – Did I ever tell you how much I fucking hate poison- “

This all was giving Hari a massive headache, but she listened with rapt attention. At least she had unwittingly gained a spy of sorts on the inside of the organization. God what a mess this whole dimension was.

----

Bringing Hidan back to their little settlement to plot a little in more pleasant surroundings went surprisingly smooth all things considered.

But seeing as he hadn’t actually injured anyone, and that the locals were more or less used to his brand of crazy having been around him quite a bit before.. Well. Hari shouldn’t be surprised.

Her explanation to the other shinobi of ‘Well you know we had to get rid of the bomber somehow’ and ‘Hidan just hadn’t ran it by me first’ went mostly unquestioned, especially as Hidan still bore ample evidence of having been almost roasted after the fact.

Their designated healers spent quite a bit of time fussing over him and scolding him for his reckless actions as they always did, and then ordered him to go straight to bed which he did looking equal parts long-suffering and pleased.

“So now what.” Hari sighed, pouring herself a cup of strong liquor even though it was barely past 8 am. “It’ll look weird if I bar you from entering, and obviously you’ll need to leave.”

“Eh I’ll just say that you killed me a couple of times, gave up and eventually dumped me. If they send me back we’ll do the same thing. As for the barrier, I have no clue how that works and I’ll just say that.”

Well that was, actually a half decent plan.

“Oh oh, if they want me to come back I’ll even try to pull whoever is with me through the barrier, that would be fucking great!” Hidan cackled at the idea of this, and Hari was a little horrified that a tiny chuckle escaped her as well.

“Better roughen me up a little before you send me out.” Hidan said, stretching his arms overhead as though he’d just enjoyed a nice relaxing morning and was quite looking forwards to being roughened up. Which.. Well that was probably all true.

“Make it look like I fought for my life or some shit. Ha!” He barked.

And so they did.

Hidan and Hari had a grand battle on the sea where she for once pulled out all the stops barring the unforgivable curses that in any case did not leave the desired marks.

When Hidan was good and dead she unfroze the barrier and hurled his mangled remains out, but then found herself walking out after him at the familiar redhead she found waiting there.

“Yahiko.” She said sadly to her maybe once-an-ally, who sported purple eyes that she knew belonged in one of her relatives head.

“We have no wish to fight you.” Yahiko said, even as Konan wrapped Hidan up in sheets of paper from where she stood well outside of the muggle-repelling area.

“You’re dead.” Hari said to the zombie. “Why are you dead? And what is Nagato’s status?”

“Nagato is.. Fine.” There was unwelcome hesitance on that last word, Hari let her mind seep in to Yahikos and managed to view a number of confusing and distressing memory snippets before finding herself kicked out. Nagato was.. Not fine.

“We do not wish to fight you.” The redhead repeated. “If you will agree to undo the seals upon Deidara we agree to leave Uzushio and her surrounding islands alone, barring any needs to enter with the purpose of execute our missions.”

“And what about collateral damage?” Hari said recalling Deidaras threats.

Yahiko-Nagato seemed to mull that over a bit before answering that they themselves had been ground zero for many battles that did not involve them directly, that they despised it, and that the Akatsuki and Amegakure as a whole would endeavor not to inflict such horrors on her domain.

This left Hari in a bit of a conundrum.

On the one hand, dangerous bomber restored would be bad because that would mean he would be taking part in nefarious plots against hers. And inevitably this cease-fire would come crashing down due to her harboring some of their ‘missions’.

On the other, safe locals for even limited amount of time would be very, very good. And Deidara actually wasn’t any more dangerous than quite a few of hers.. Excepting his potential for mass destruction, which didn’t actually seem to be a concern just now.

“I’ll take that deal.” Hari said, crossing her arms over her chest. Damn fuck and wank, this dimension was awful.