Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

JJ can’t believe the words that come to mind. He hated bars. All the grinding, sweaty bodies, the screaming of lyrics, the creepy guys trying to drug any girls drink that they could, let alone his friend's insistence on him getting on the dance floor and letting go. Parties were good, easy. Good booze, even better weed and fucking hot guys. It was JJ’s dream. But in bars, all there was was kooks trying to get into any pogues pants just to cause more hatred between the groups. Oh, and to show off their money and wealth.

“Can I get another?” questions JJ, nodding down at the empty glass in his hand. 

The bartender scoffs out a dry laugh, rolling his eyes. “Haven’t you had enough already, kid?”

JJ laughs. “C’mon, it’s shitty beer anyway. One more won’t even get me tipsy.”

Letting out a sigh, the bartender hands JJ another glass, ignoring the smug expression on the teens face. “Your funeral, kid.”

“Whatever.” JJ chides, turning in his seat to watch his friends dance like their lives depended on it, grinning and laughing. 

It wasn’t like JJ hated fun, he was the definition of fun and bad decisions. He just hated the idea of being groped by all parties and feeling sick to the stomach. What he did like was sober, consenual, no strings sex. He couldn't get that here, all he could get was a slap on the arse or drunken lips kissing at his neck.

“JJ!” Cleo gasps out from beside him, planting her hands to his shoulders, a grin plastered across her lips. “Come dance with us, live a little.”

Shaking his head, JJ allows the breathless girl to have a sip of his drink. “Nah, I’m good. I prefer to sit and not be touched.”

Cleo pouts. “C’mon, we’ll protect you.”

“Maybe next time.” JJ assures. “Before everyone here is too shit faced to be decent human beings.”

“Suit yourself.” Says Cleo, ruffling JJ’s hair. “Let us know if you change your mind.”

Smiling, JJ nods. “Will do.”

JJ watches with sad eyes as Cleo makes her way back to the dance floor, rolling his eyes at John B’s pout. He turns back around, the flashing bright lights displaying shadows across his back. It was nice to be out with his friends, away from his toxic homelife, but all JJ could seem to think about was the letter he had found on the front porch that afternoon, the same exact handwriting on it as all those years ago. 

He couldn’t bring himself to read it, not yet. He could already imagine what was inside. ‘I’m sorry for leaving you’, or, ‘I’m here now.’ JJ didn’t know what to do other than request a night out to get his mind off of it.

Why was she getting in touch now? Had the guilt finally caught up to her? Being born into the Maybank family was enough of a curse, he didn’t need his mother returning ten years later to say fucking sorry. She was a Maybank through and through, even if she was married into the name. She was still one, and she always would be. 

JJ was only eight when she left. He tells himself he didn’t miss her, for it was her fault he was left with Luke, but deep down, he knew he couldn’t stay mad at her. She left an abusive environment in fear of being killed, but left her son to deal with it. That's the one thing JJ has never been able to get his head around. Why the fuck did she leave without him?

“Hey there.”

JJ groans inwardly. Fucking hell. Turning to face the very much unwanted person with a glare, a soft, nice smelling cologne fills his nostrils and sends his body back to ease, the glare slowly falling from his facial features. Every so often, a drunk or highly stoned guy would take a seat beside JJ, completely unforeseen by the pogues, and would try to start small talk. JJ always made sure that his face was disoriented in a harsh glare that would usually scare the men away, making it very clear that he was not in the mood for whatever was happening. However, this time, it was different. 

The voice was just as soft and as nice as his cologne, no beer nor alcoholic scent to be found. Locking eyes with the stranger, JJ’s heart sinks. Flash clothes, credit card in hand. A kook. Great. 

“What do you want?” JJ snarks, sipping at his beer angrily. 

“I’m new to town, I was just wondering if that drink was decent enough to get?” the stranger replies, smiling easily, yet seemingly awkward at the same time. 

Rolling his eyes, JJ lets out a breath. “Who comes to a bar on his first night in town? Don’t you still go to high school?”

Chuckling, a deep rumble in the back of his throat, the stranger shrugs. “Some guys I met earlier today made me come with them. And I could ask the same thing, ``why are you in a club on a school night?”

“Who actually gives a fuck about school these days?” Inquires JJ, downing the last of his beer with a grimace.

“Me.”

JJ scoffs out a laugh. “Of course you do. You actually have a bright future, unlike us pogues. School will get you somewhere.”

“Pogues?” The stranger asks, thanking the bartender for his drink and taking a sip.

“Don’t act so oblivious. I’m sure your other kook friends have filled you in on what happens in this town.”

“Actually, they haven’t. Care to enlighten me?”

Turning to face the stranger, JJ allows that same glare to take place on his face. “Whatever it is that you’re doing, it’s not gonna happen.” Says JJ, sliding off of his seat and standing on his feet. “Stay away from me before you get yourself killed.”

“Wait,” the stranger calls out, stumbling off of his seat and catching hold of JJ’s wrist, forcing him to turn around. “I didn’t get your name.”

“It’s JJ.” JJ replies, irritated and ripping his arm free. 

“I’m Pope.”

“And zero fucks were given.” turning on his heel, JJ makes his way through the crowd, having to shove away grinding bodies just to get to his friends. “We’re leaving.”

“What?” Laughs John B, pausing momentarily from his continuous dancing. 

JJ groans. “I want to go.”

Furrowing his brows, John B tilts his head. “Did something happen?”

“No- I- I just.. I don’t feel good.” JJ says, running a hand through his hair. “I wanna go.”

“Okay.” with a simple nod in JJ’s direction, the others follow JJ and John B out of the club and into the cool air.

They walk towards the twinkie with no words spoken between them, clambering inside and keeping the music low, their heads banging angrily. “Anyone got some panadol?” Kiara asks, gripping the side of her head. 

“I doubt it.” John B replies, rummaging through the compartments. “There’s some back at mine, though.”

The entire drive back to John B’s, JJ can’t stop thinking about the letter stuffed inside of his bag on John B’s bed, just waiting for him to rip it open and sob behind his hand. In all the ten years that she had been gone, no contact was made. No phone calls, no letters, no emails. Nothing. Why now was she so desperate to get in contact?

Did she want money? Or did she want JJ to move in with her? The possibilities were endless. All JJ knew was that he was dreading opening it. 

As soon as his head hits the pillow beside John B, snuggled up under the covers, JJ’s thoughts change to the kook, Pope, at the club. Who the fuck names their kid Pope? And who the fuck lets their kid who is new to town go out and get shitfaced the day before school? What a fucking idiot. JJ thinks to himself. A hot idiot, but still. What kind of kook was that dumb?

Chapter Text

“Watch it, pogue.” some voice yells as their shoulders collide, squeezed together by the ever crushing hallways. JJ chooses to ignore it, sending a simple flip of the bird over his head before continuing on his way towards his locker. Though the school was an absolute shit hole like the rest of the island, almost every kid, rich or poor, kook or pogue, were sent there. The teachers were underpaid as it was, the desks and chairs were barely passing regulations on health and safety, and more students were staying after school for detention than there was an entire classroom. 

Though JJ dreams about going to a much nicer, much more educating school, he knows he would end up hating it. Kildare county was all that he knew, and there was no way in hell he could afford to go to any other school near the outer banks let alone convince his shithead of a dad to pack up and leave for a better life. 

Being born into the Maybank name was like having a sign taped to your back saying ‘kick me’. Alcoholism was genetic, as was any mental health disorder you could think of. Everyone on the island knew who JJ was without even to ask, the cuts and bruises on his skin evident enough. Luke Maybank was one of the town's biggest drunks and drug addicts. More often than not, it was caught by passersby eyes the abuse JJ entailed, but nothing was ever done about it. 

Shaking his head, JJ reaches out and twists the combination of his locker into the lock. Surprisingly he was yet to find John B and Kiara. They were usually the first ones there out of the three of them, JJ usually running behind or not bothering to even show up. It was a miracle, something JJ never thought he would see. 

Smiling to himself, JJ throws his books inside of his sorry excuse of a bag, only for it to be ripped from out of his hand and thrown across the floor, the contents spilling over the hallway. JJ grits his teeth. “The fuck do you powerpuff girls want?” he snaps, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder and turning around by himself, locking eyes with the three kooks across from him. 

Rafe scoffs out a laugh, raising his chin just the slightest and arching a brow. “C’mon, you should know the drill by now, or have you taken too many beatings to the head from your old man?”

JJ lunges forward without even a hint of regret, allowing his body to be overtaken by the malice and anger flowing through his veins. His hands take hold of Rafe’s collar, spinning on his heels and crashing the other male into the lockers, firing a fist at his face. “Shut the fuck up.”

“That a sore spot for you?” Topper taunts, hooking his arms underneath JJ’s armpits and pulling him against his chest roughly, the hold tight and unyielding. “Talking about how your own flesh and blood can’t stand the sight of you?”

“Fuck off!” JJ exclaims loudly, thrashing his body around violently. 

And yet, Topper’s hold does not break and Kelce aims a knee right into JJ’s stomach, a rough blow that has blood spilling from JJ’s lips, last night's attack from Luke only aching deeper into his bones. JJ slides from Topper’s arms onto the floor, clutching his bruised and black abdomen, teeth covered in dark crimson. 

The commotion in the hallway does not falter, eyes drilling holes on JJ’s weak body curling in on himself, not even bothering to try and help. A foot suddenly collides with his face, a scream and a crack echoing throughout the air, further blood pouring down JJ’s face. “Hey!” a somewhat familiar voice shouts suddenly. “What the hell?”

Bodies slamming into the lockers fills JJ’s ears, before gentle hands are helping him to stand up. “Are you okay?” the person asks, cupping JJ’s face and looking over the injuries. “What's your name?”

“JJ,” whispers JJ, pulling away and coughing, blood splattering across the floor and down his shirt. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine, let me take you to the nurse.”

Shaking his head, JJ rolls his eyes, cupping a hand over his nose. He looks up at the person, and almost groans. “You again? I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me?” Snarls JJ. 

“I get that you’re new here and everything, but you've just killed yourself, kook. I don't need some goodie two shoes like you trying to save me. I can handle myself.” Piling his books back into his bag, JJ walks at a fast pace down the hallway, not even bothering to look back at Pope. JJ sure as hell didn’t need charity from a fucking kook. 

Stopping in front of the familiar door, JJ knocks lightly, wincing at the sharp pain that travels through his stomach. The door opens, and the school nurse appears, the smile falling from her lips upon the sight. “JJ.” she says, stepping aside for him to enter.

He does so without response, planting himself down on the raggedy bed with a groan. “What happened this time?” Ariel sighs, grabbing a cloth and wetting it under the tap, dabbing lightly over the blood. 

“The usual.” JJ hisses, pulling away. “Fuck, that hurts.”

Flicking JJ lightly on the arm, Ariel tuts. “Language. You need to go to the principal, get those boys to back off.”

JJ rolls his eyes, scoffing out a laugh only to cough up more blood. Ariel is quick to hand him some tissues to cover his mouth, watching with worried eyes as JJ does so without even a hint of confusion. “Like he’ll care. He’s a kook just like the rest of them, he’s not gonna do a thing about it. Especially for me.”

“Has something else happened to cause the abdomen trauma?” Questions Ariel, crossing her arms. “A simple punch or knee to the stomach shouldn’t do this much damage.”

JJ doesn't respond.

Ariel sighs. “Is your father drinking again?”

“When is he not?” says JJ, clutching his stomach.

“Lift up your shirt.”

Furrowing his brows, JJ shakes his head. “What? No.”

“JJ.” Ariel says sternly. “Lift up your shirt. You could have serious damage to your muscles, cartilage or your lungs.”

JJ sighs. Doing as he’s told, JJ slowly pulls up his shirt, wincing sharply as the nurse begins to touch his ribs. “Fuck.” he hisses. “That’s enough.” shoving the material back down, JJ takes the cloth from beside him on the bed and wipes the blood off of his face. 

“That's a clean break. You need to go to the hospital.” Ariel says after a while, cupping JJ’s cheek.

Stammering over his words, JJ wraps an arm around his stomach, shaking his head. “No. I can’t- just- can’t you patch it up? You’re a nurse.”

Ariel shakes her head. “You know I can’t. You need to go to the hospital.”

“I can’t.” whispers JJ, voice shaking.

“I’ll take him.” that same voice says suddenly. Looking over to the door, a male, slightly taller than JJ, is standing in the doorway awkwardly, unable to contain the fear held within his face from one look at the injuries and blood. 

Scowling, JJ rolls his eyes. “The fuck do you care?”

Pope’s face drops. “You need medical care. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Thank you,” Ariel cuts in, looking at JJ sharply. “I’ll sign you both out.”

The room is completely silent, the only sound being JJ’s ragged breathing and small coughs. Why the fuck did he have to come back? Why did a kook care so much about someone like JJ? So what if things where he’s from are different, JJ was not about to become friends with a rich jackass. 

“You be nice,” Ariel tells JJ as she helps him to Pope’s car, a rather expensive one JJ’s dad would’ve happily stolen. “He seems like a nice kid.”

“Whatever.” Mutters JJ, buckling his seatbelt with a wince. “Thank you.”

The door slams shut, and nurse Ariel disappears back inside of the school. The engine revs, before the car is backing up out of its park and zooming off into the street, music playing softly through the speakers. “My name's Pope, by the way.” Pope says from beside him, flicking his eyes over to JJ. “I wasn’t sure if you actually listened last night.”

Nodding slowly, JJ sighs. “Who calls their kid Pope?”

JJ expects Pope to go silent, to get irritated, but he doesn’t. Just laughs and shrugs. “Dunno, you’d have to ask my parents that question.”

JJ can’t help but crack a small smile. 

The rest of the drive is relatively quiet aside from the radio, barely any parks seen over the hospital to the point that JJ tells Pope to park across the road. It wasn’t too far of a walk, and JJ could manage. “Do you want me to come in?” Asks Pope, turning the key. 

“Not really but you probably have to.” JJ replies as nicely as possible, unbuckling his seatbelt and reaching over to open the door. “I.. I can’t afford whatever bill there is.”

“That’s okay.” Pope shrugs. “I don’t mind paying.”

Sighing, JJ steps out of the car with a wince and a curse under his breath, nearly falling to the gravel with one step forward. “Woah,” says Pope, quickly tumbling out of the car and steadying JJ by hands to his hips. “Lemme help.”

Not uttering a word, JJ allows Pope to snake an arm around his waist to hold him steady, walking slowly and shakily towards the hospital doors. It doesn’t take too long to see a doctor considering the drasticy of the injuries. A few X-rays are done before JJ is being plastered up and being written prescriptions for the pain. 

“How did this happen?” The doctor asks as she cleans the last bits of blood from JJ’s face.

“Just some guys at school,” JJ says easily. “Nothing bad.”

The doctor tuts. “I’ve written you a prescription for some painkillers and some bandages for when your nose is ready to be cleaned and changed again.”

“Thank you,” Pope cuts in, taking the sheets of paper and bandages. “We will see to it.”

At the desk, Pope requests for the bill to be sent to his address before aiding JJ back into the car. “Where am I taking you?”

JJ furrows his brows. “School.”

“Really?”

“Yes really.” He says. “I can’t miss anymore school.”

“Okay..”

The drive back to school is quiet, awkward. JJ hated the way Pope kept looking over at him whenever he could, watching him, nervous. It almost got to the point that JJ was to snap. Never in his life had he met a kook who actually cared about the lower people on the food chain, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. 

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Questions Pope when the old, withering building appears. 

“Look,” JJ says sharply, turning to face Pope with a harsh glare in his eye. “I don’t need your charity, okay? Thank you for paying, but don’t do what you did today ever again, you hear me?”

“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.” Pope argues.

“So what? That's just the way life is here. You're a kook. I’m a pogue. We don’t help each other. Now stay away from me before you get your ass killed.” JJ snaps, pushing open the door and exiting the car.

Chapter Text

Sarah’s having a party tonight, you in?

The words flash brightly across JJ’s bruised face, blue eyes squinting. Another one? JJ thinks to himself, sighing. He really wasn’t in the mood to go to a party, not with the disgusting plaster covering his nose. There was no doubt he’d get shitfaced and worsen the break further. 

Seriously?

JJ replies, rolling onto his back with a groan. 

Dude, come on! You have to! 

JJ groans once more.

Fine. But if I break my nose further it’s on you.

Sounds good. See you tonight. 

Rolling out of bed, JJ lets out a deep set groan, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Most Cameron parties were on school nights, so it felt strange to be getting ready for a party on a saturday, the one day they all didn’t work. “Fuck,” JJ mutters, cupping a hand over his aching nose and rolling his eyes. Opening the bottle of pills, JJ downs two with a gulp of water and quietly exits his sorry excuse of a room, looking left and right and behind himself until he lands himself in the kitchen, rummaging for something to eat.

By the look of things, Luke had gone out to drink and hadn’t returned home, much to JJ’s relief. He was not in the mood for another argument that would end in him with a possible punctured lung or broken ribs. Settling for an apple that was getting close to rotting, JJ jumps up onto the counter top, swinging his legs back and forth. 

As a kid, one of his favourite things to do was sit on the bench and watch his mother bake, tasting whatever icing she had made or licking the batter from the spoon. She was an amazing baker and an even better cook, constantly packing up a basket and taking JJ out to the beach for a picnic while Luke was out getting shitfaced early that morning. 

He loved spending time with her, especially when she treated his friends like her own. After the death of John B’s mum, she stepped in and gave him the motherly comfort he needed. If it wasn’t for her, John B probably wouldn’t be as mentally okay as he is today. So why did she have to leave?

The letter comes to mind, and JJ squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to allow himself to cry. He wasn’t going to let himself break down over something so stupid. Lifting himself off of the counter, JJ throws the apple core into the bin and walks up the stairs into the bathroom, locking the door and flicking on the light. Removing his clothes, JJ turns on the shower and hops inside, hissing at the ice cold water that drips down his bruise covered body. “Jesus,” JJ whispers, ducking his head, leaning his hands against the wall, allowing the water to drape his hair across his face. 

JJ didn’t know what he was expecting. Since his mother left, there had never been any hot water. Luke was too fucking lazy to pay the bills, or keep a goddamn job. JJ had tried to work to get the bills paid, but after a year, JJ gave up. He didn’t owe anything to Luke, nor the horrorful house he had grown up in.

He takes the rest of the day to relax before getting ready for Sarah Cameron’s party. Though John B would never admit it, he was completely infatuated by the blonde headed kook, much to Kiara’s irritation. She had been the one to come up with their group's number one rule. ‘No pogue on kook macking.’ JJ didn’t get as to why, it wouldn’t mean anything, but whenever he would ask, Kiara would glare and become angry to the point JJ walked away, unable to listen to her yelling any longer. There was no doubt in JJ’s mind that something was going on between his best friend and the prettiest girl in school.

Deciding on a simple cutoff and shorts, JJ walks over to the Cameron’s mansion with his head bowed, kicking rocks and ignoring the other students making their way to the house, laughing and already throwing back bottles of beer. Fluorescent lights can be seen over the exterior walls, along with bouncing, dancing bodies, and blaring music pounds throughout large speakers. 

JJ walks through the gates, and instantly John B is beside him, throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in tight. “Finally, took you long enough.” he shouts over the music, ruffling JJ’s hair and hanging him a beer. “The others are inside dancing, c’mon.”

Not even uttering a word, JJ allows himself to be dragged inside of the large home and in between Kiara and Cleo on the dancefloor, swaying his hips. “Oh come on,” Laughs Cleo, grabbing JJ’s hips and forcing him closer, moving them up and down. “You can do better than that.”

“I don’t dance.” JJ replies, freezing his body. 

John B gives him a look. “When you’ve had enough to drink, you dance.”

JJ scoffs out a laugh. “Fuck off.”

“Come on, man.” John B says, snaking an arm around JJ’s waist and moving their hips together. “Dance with me.”

“Fine.” JJ drags out, throwing his head back and allowing the music to take over his body, rolling and swaying his hips in time with John B’s. “But you asked for it.”

Throwing away his cup of beer, John B turns JJ around so that his back is flush against his chest, their bodies moving together along to the music. JJ  sways his hips forward, before dragging his arse back against John B, grinning, hands on John B’s neck, caressing the skin. 

“Should I be jealous?” A familiar, feminine voice says. 

Looking over, JJ smirks. “Just having fun, Sarah.”

Sarah laughs, arching a brow. “Mind if I steal away your man, JJ?”

“Go for it.” JJ says, downing the rest of his beer with a gasp. “I need another drink.”

Drifting through the large crowd, JJ stumbles into the kitchen, grabbing another cup of beer and taking a sip, sighing softly. Parties were definitely better than bars. He finds himself seated on one of the many couches, hunched up against the arm rest, trying to ignore the couple beside him making out. 

His friends are dancing happily, sipping at their drinks and grinning. They try every so often to get JJ dancing once more, but he can’t be bothered to get up and do so. He didn’t want to have to be a fifth wheel, especially with Kiara’s distaste for pogues and kooks being together. 

It’s sudden, but a stumbling body appears before him, cup in hand and toothy grin on their lips. “Hey,” Pope greets, shouting over the music. “What are you doing all alone?”

Rolling his eyes, JJ can’t help but smile small. “I don’t dance.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.” Pope replies, placing down his cup and lending out his hand. “Dance with me.”

JJ shakes his head, making a face. “No thanks. I don’t think you want a sprained ankle.”

Raising a brow, Pope chuckles. “Try me.”

Contrary to belief, JJ gives in rather quickly, taking Pope’s hand into his own and following the male into the centre of the dancefloor. The music changes to something slower, yet still upbeat, the people around him stopping their jumping and opting for something more sensual. JJ doesn’t know what to do other than to slowly roll his hips and walk in a circle with Pope, nearing closer and closer with each step. 

“Told you you could dance,” Pope breathes into his ear, tickling the skin, before pulling away just enough for their noses to almost brush.

JJ can’t stop the blush that darkens across his cheeks, bowing his head slowly as Pope’s hands meet his waist, pulling him in slightly. “Yeah, okay,” he finally manages to say, bringing his eyes up to meet Pope’s, gasping quietly at their close proximity. “How’s everything going for you?”

Laughing, Pope’s eyes crinkle at the corners, a beautiful sight JJ only wanted to see for the rest of the dance. “So you do like small talk?” 

“What?”

“I thought zero fucks were given?” Pope teases, voice still relatively awkward as he talks as though he were unsure if he should have spoken at all.

JJ purses his lips, nodding. “Right. Zero fucks are given, just thought I’d be nice.”

Pope hums. “Yeah, okay.”

Rolling his eyes, JJ gives Pope a teasing shove, unable to stop the giggle that escapes his lips. “Fuck off, man.”

They both fall into laughter, bodies falling together once more, Pope’s hands a comfortable weight on JJ’s hips. Then, JJ’s eyes wash over the dancefloor and lock with Kiara’s that seemed to be burning holes in his skull. “I uh.. I gotta go.” JJ breathes, Pope’s hands instantly removing themselves from JJ’s body as he steps back. 

“Will I find you again?” Pope questions.

JJ doesn’t respond, just disappears into the large swell of people, ignoring the heavy guilt in his chest. Kiara was right. No pogue on kook macking. It would only cause trouble.

******

In just under two hours, JJ was completely shitfaced, slurring his words and blowing puffs of smoke into the air. John B was busy talking with Sarah, and Cleo and Kiara were laughing on the couch, so JJ stumbles out into the backyard and up the ladder of the treehouse that had been built way before the Camerons moved to town. 

Blankets and pillows cover the floor, along with fairy lights and drawings pinned to the walls. JJ throws his cup of beer out the open door and lies back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. It was airy, kind of quiet, as quiet as it could be with the party going on inside. 

After JJ ditched Pope mid-dance, Kiara met him in the kitchen where she growled at him for flirting and dancing with a kook. ‘He’s just using you, JJ.’ she had said. ‘That's what kooks do. You know this’.

‘I was just having some fun,’ JJ had argued back, rolling his eyes and leaving out the part of Pope taking him to the hospital and paying for the bill. 

‘Well have some fun with a pogue. Not a kook.’

JJ didn’t say another word. He never did when Kiara got like this. She wasn’t one you could change her mind with a few words. She was adamant on their rule. 

The sound of footsteps making their way up the ladder fills JJ’s ears, and he quickly sits himself up, only to lock eyes with a rather exhausted looking Pope. “Oh, hey.” he says, pausing. “I can leave if you want.”

Shaking his head, JJ moves over. “It’s okay.”

Placing his beer down, Pope climbs the rest of the way in, taking his seat beside JJ. it goes silent between them, neither one of them knowing what to say. What was JJ to say after leaving Pope on the dancefloor without another word?

“ Look, about the other day.” Pope begins to say, taking a long sip of his beer. “Just because I'm a kook and you're a pogue doesn't mean we can't help each other out.”

Rolling his eyes, JJ scoffs out a dry laugh. “Whatever.” he mutters. “But I'm warning you, new kid. You keep trying to act like a hero to us pogues who you see as just poor people who have to beg for even a chance at anything, you'll get yourself into some deep shit.”

It goes quiet for a few moments, as quiet as it can get with the party raging behind them. JJ lies himself back on the blankets and pillows beneath him, riggling to get comfortable, eyes fluttering closed, when a sudden shadow hangs over his body. Opening his eyes, JJ lets a short breath escape his lips at the sight of Pope hovering over him, hands on either side of JJ's head, lips mere inches apart. 

“Can I kiss you?” Pope whispers through JJ’s thoughts, his minty yet beer tinged breath fanning across JJ’s face. 

Not even bothering to respond, JJ pulls Pope down on top of him, hooking his legs around his waist. Their lips slot together eagerly, messily, teeth clanging painfully, but neither of them dare to pull away. Clothes rip from each other's bodies, shirts and shorts flying over Pope’s shoulders before their lips are together once more, Pope’s tongue insistent inside JJ’s mouth.

“You got a condom?” JJ asks between their lips, saliva dripping from his mouth and down his chin. 

Patting his hand over the floor, Pope grabs his shorts and fumbles through his pockets, kissing and sucking marks up and down JJ’s neck. JJ’s back arches under the touch, moaning softly. “Yeah.” Says Pope, holding it up between his fingers. 

Grabbing Pope by the shoulders, JJ shoves him onto his back, throwing his legs on either side of Pope’s hips. He snatches the condom from Pope’s hand, ripping it open with his teeth and sliding it over Pope’s cock, smirking drunkenly at the groan that falls from Pope’s lips. JJ gives it a few teasing pumps, circling his thumb over the head and cupping Pope’s balls with his other hand, before securing himself right over Pope’s cock.

“Wait-” Pope says, grabbing JJ’s hips and holding him in place. “Don’t you want me to prep you or something?”

JJ shakes his head, pushing Pope’s hands away. “Nah, I like it when it burns.” He breathes, throwing his head back as he begins to lower himself down, arms suddenly shaky against Pope’s chest. “Oh fuck.”

Bottoming out, JJ doesn’t waste any time, thrusting his hips back and forth, sighing at the burning sensation that flows through his body. Pope throws his head back, guiding JJ’s hips up and down, back and forth, up and down, back and forth, moaning and groaning. It was better than he could have imagined, riding Pope. his cock was so big, so long and thick, hitting that fucking spot that made JJ go insane. 

“Jesus christ.” Mutters JJ, fastening his thrusts to meet Pope’s, soft whimpers flowing from his throat. “Right there, Pope. Right there.”

Digging his fingers into JJ’s hips, Pope flips him onto his back, not even bothering to pull all the way out. He thrusts back in with a new surge of confidence, pounding against JJ’s prostate in a way that had JJ screaming, eyes rolling back, small ‘ah, ah, ah’s’ leaving his lips. “That feel good?” Pope pants out, using his hands as leverage to bend JJ over and fuck him deeper. 

“Fuck yeah.” JJ all but screams, digging his heels into Pope’s back, nails dragging deeply into Pope’s skin and dragging. “Faster.”

Pope is quick to comply, his hips slamming against JJ’s own faster and harder than ever before, pulling JJ into each and every thrust. JJ can't breathe, can hardly think at the amount of pleasure flowing through his veins. Pope's thrusts haven't stopped, not even once, a stamina JJ never knew he had. Just pounds and pounds inside of JJ, even after JJ is crying, desperate for release, Pope doesn't stop.

 “Oh my god-” JJ chokes out. “I’m gonna-”

“Me too.”

The friction of JJ’s hard cock rubbing against Pope was growing far too much for him to handle, and he throws his head back, cumming with a shout, eyes rolling back, thighs quivering. Pope is right behind him, cumming with a grunt and curse of JJ’s name, rocking his hips back and forth at a soft, gentle pace. 

Pulling out of JJ ever so softly, Pope removes the condom and throws a blanket over their bodies. JJ snuggles into the pillows, sighing, eyes fluttering with sleep before everything falls black, his chest rising and falling calmly.

Chapter Text

Chirping, irritating birds greet the morning sun, ruffling their feathers under the deep warmth. The brightness of the sun shines through the windows of the treehouse, casting over JJ’s eyes and forcing a groan from his lips. “What the fuck,” he mumbles, the banging in his skull borderline painful. “Where-”

Cutting himself off, JJ pauses in his movements at the arms that tighten around his waist, blushing furiously at his naked body covered by a thin blanket. He turns ever so slowly around to face the person, only for his eyes to widen and a curse to fly through his lips. Pope lays in front of him, still fast asleep, a soft smile on his lips. 

JJ.. JJ slept with a kook. JJ slept with Pope. what the actual fuck was going on with him these days? One moment, he was resenting the idea of Pope and the next, he was hooking up with him. Through JJ’s thoughts, Pope flutters his eyes open, bringing his hand up to cup JJ’s cheek. “Morning,” he says, voice deep and groggy. 

“Morning,” JJ manages out, quickly throwing on last night's clothes and shoes. 

Furrowing his brows, Pope sits up. “What are you doing?”

“I have to go.” Says JJ, fixing his hair. “Bye.”

“Woah, wait-”

JJ doesn’t wait around to listen to what Pope had to say. He had to get out of there. At full speed, does JJ run all the way back to his shithole of a house, steering clear of John B’s home where he was sure the others had bunked at. He needed to get his head straight before he faced any of them. They couldn’t know he had hooked up with a kook.

Stopping short at the front steps, JJ pulls his phone from his back pocket and checks his notifications, surprised to find a message from Pope on instagram so that they could keep in touch. “Fuck.” JJ mutters, rubbing his eyes angrily. “What is wrong with me?”

JJ is relieved to find Luke passed out on the couch, snoring away as though all that he had done to JJ didn’t bother him a single bit. Disappearing up into his room, JJ closes the door and rips open his bag, pulling out the letter addressed to him from his mother. He needed something to get his mind off of Pope, even reading something that could further break his heart. 

JJ,

Hi, my sweet angel. I know you will be angry, and will be upset that I have waited this long to get into contact with you. Believe me, I’m angry at myself. That doesn’t excuse what I did, I know that. I just wanted to tell you why I left.

Your father threatened to kill us both if I did not leave. Threatened to make me watch as he killed you. I didn’t know what else to do other than to listen. I should have called the police, I should have taken you with me, but I was terrified. I knew that either way, he would be able to find us and act out what he had threatened to do. 

You probably think I’m making this up, but you and I both know what your father is capable of doing. He would do anything to get his way.

I love you so much, baby. I’ve missed you so much. This is my number in case you ever want to get in touch with me. I know you probably won’t, and I don’t blame you, but it was worth a shot.

I love you.

Mum.

All that could seem to describe JJ’s feelings was absolute, pure rage. After all these years of blaming himself, of thinking that she couldn’t take it anymore, Luke had thrown her out? Throwing the paper to the ground, JJ storms out of his room and into the living room, slamming his hand against Luke’s cheek. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” He shouts, stepping back shakily as Luke’s eyes fly open, sitting up with anger in his gaze. “You threw her out? You threatened to kill us both if she didn’t leave?”

“That is none of your business, boy.” Luke snarls. He stands up far too fast for JJ to be able to react, lunging forward and slamming JJ into the wall behind him. His hand curls around JJ’s throat, digging into his windpipe.

JJ chokes out a gasp, clawing at Luke’s wrist. “Why did you make her leave-” he rasps, struggling to breathe.

“Because I knew what you were before either of you ever did.”

Eyes widening, JJ feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. 

“Fucking faggot.” Rearing his arm back, Luke fires his fist against JJ’s eye, watching as he falls to the floor, gasping in breaths.

Through the pain flowing around his body, JJ manages to kick Luke in the shin and make a run for it up the stairs, heart pounding. Luke is only a few steps behind him, storming up the stairs and yelling incoherent slurs around the air. Somehow, he is able to grab hold of JJ by a hand in his hair, ripping his head back and forcing him to his knees at the top of the stairs. “I should’ve made your mother abort you, you fucking disgrace.” Luke growls lowly.

Before JJ can say another word, Luke is forcing his head back so far JJ begins to near the edge of the step. “No, wait, dad-” JJ tries, but it was too late. It all happens so fast, the pain of the stairs digging into JJ’s body unbearable, colouring black bruises and blood across JJ’s body. And with one hit to the head, JJ is out like a light.

******

The room is unfamiliar to JJ when he awakens. He half expects to still be at the bottom of the stairs, bleeding out across the floor as he usually would find himself at the end of a fight, but is surprised to see clean, white walls surrounding him, along with beeping machines and bandages covering his body.

His throat hurt to speak, and his head was killing him. Such an intense pain he feared the long term factors of the abuse. Blinking his eyes a few times to focus on the room around him, JJ is fearful to find Luke seated beside him, shaking his head angrily. “Dad..” JJ croaks out, throat raw from his screams of terror. “Where-”

“Hospital.” Luke states, not even bothering to look JJ in the eye. 

“Why..” JJ cuts himself off, chest stuttering suddenly as he breathes. JJ would have died if Luke hadn’t called an ambulance. Luke was scared of going to prison. Of course. That's the only reason JJ was even here. 

Standing from his seat suddenly, JJ’s eyes blow wide as Luke takes a stand right by his side, glaring daggers at his bruised and bloodied face. “If you mutter a single word to anyone, I won’t be so fearful of having murder on my hands, you hear me?” Luke growls, poking finger at JJ’s chest. 

Sinking into the bed, JJ nods, forcing himself to hold back tears. 

“You can find your own way out, and your own way to pay, faggot.” is all Luke says before disappearing out the door.

JJ can’t help but burst into tears, his chest aching at the intensity of his sobs. Everything hurt so fucking bad, burning, aching, throbbing. JJ was used to bad injuries, but not this bad. He had never been taken to the hospital by Luke, or any of his friends upon a simple request and reassurances that he was fine even if he wasn’t. How was he supposed to pay for these medical bills? He could barely even afford simple groceries.

Grabbing his phone from the table beside him, guilt coils through JJ’s stomach as he opens Pope’s message. 

Can you come get me?

JJ sends, breathing heavily through his whimpers.

Please.

He adds quickly afterwards.

Pope doesn’t ask questions, just sends a simple thumbs up at the location and gets there as fast as possible. When he finally finds JJ’s room, JJ is in the middle of a check up with one of the doctors, eyes bloodshot and swollen. “Holy shit.” He hears Pope mutter under his breath, his eyes wide.

The doctor turns away from JJ and smiles. “Hello, you must be his ride home?”

Nodding, Pope forces a smile. “Yeah, that's me. What.. what's happened?”

“Your friend here has suffered a nasty fall down the stairs.” the doctor says, looking down at her clipboard. “Deep lacerations on the body, along with severe bruising and a concussion. A broken wrist. He is very lucky to not have broken his hip or slipped a disk in his back.”

JJ ignores the fearful expression on Pope’s face as he tries to lock eyes with him, looking down at his lap, tears burning behind his eyes. 

“ He will be discharged later today, are you happy to wait with him?”

“Of course.” He hears Pope say. 

Once the doctor has left, Pope takes a seat beside JJ, scrubbing his hands down his face. “You gonna tell me what really happened?”

Shaking his head, JJ sucks in a deep breath. “No.”

“Okay.. is there anyone I can call for you?”

“No.” JJ repeats. “I’m sorry to bother you, okay? I just.. I couldn’t have my friends coming and getting upset. Whatever bills there are, I’ll pay you back, and the one on your first day.”

Pope furrows his brows. “No, it's okay. You don’t have to.”

“Yes I do, and I will pay you back.” JJ says sternly. “And after this, I won’t send you any messages for help, okay?”

Pope nods. “Are.. are we gonna talk about last night?”

The breath hitches in the back of JJ’s throat. “No.” He says once again. “Last night never happened. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

It's a few hours before JJ is allowed to be let out. Pope signs whatever paper was needed to be signed and helps JJ into his car, tucking his pain medication into a small bag. The entire drive to John B’s is quiet and filled with worried glances JJ’s way. It was obvious what thoughts must be going through Pope’s head, he had every right to think, but JJ also had every right not to tell him a thing about his home life. All Pope was to him was some guy he hooked up with once and has helped him out of tricky situations. 

Pulling up in John B’s driveway, JJ is relieved to only find John B seated on the front porch, taking a drag of his smoke and breathing it out into the air, eyes flicking over to the expensive vehicle in surprise. “JJ?” John B calls out, putting out his blunt and walking over.

“Hey, man.” JJ says, smiling sheepishly.

Cupping his hands to JJ’s cheeks, John B looks over his injuries, anger boiling beneath his eyes. “What the hell happened to you?”

JJ clears his throat as Pope comes up behind him, carrying the bag filled with JJ’s clothes and pills. “I fell down some stairs.”

“Bullshit-” John B begins to say, only to cut himself off at the glare held within JJ’s eyes upon nodding in Pope’s direction. “Who are you?”

“This is Pope.” JJ says, taking the bag from Pope’s hand and smiling gratefully. “I showed him around school on his first day, and we bumped into each other at the hospital. He offered to take me home.”

Reaching his hand out, John B shakes Pope’s own. “Thanks for taking care of this dork, man. He can be a handful at times.”

Pope smiles awkwardly. “No worries. I’ll get going, take care of yourself, JJ.” he says, waving in their direction before climbing back inside of his car and driving away.

JJ watches from the driveway, only to have his attention snapped back by John B. “Your dad push you down the stairs?”

“Can we not do this right now?” JJ asks, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I.. I’m tired and my head is killing me.”

“Yeah, okay.” Says John B, aiding JJ up the stairs and into the house. “Nice kook back there. Did you seriously meet at school?”

“Yes.” JJ replies quickly, laying down on the other males bed. “Course.”

John B arches a brow, smirking. “So you didn’t hook up with him?”

“Fuck off.”

  Last night never happened.

Chapter Text

Crickets sing loudly outside of the locked windows, John B’s sleeping figure not even stirring from the sound, just rolls closer to the warmth of JJ’s body and throws an arm over his friend's waist, breathing out deeply. JJ freezes at the touch momentarily, heart stuttering, before easing into the embrace, adjusting John B’s hand from its place over the bruises on JJ’s skin. It’s not as though this was unusual, he and John B had been cuddling since they were young. But JJ still couldn’t help the fear of what may be lurking in the dark.

If you mutter a single word to anyone, I won’t be so fearful of having murder on my hands, you hear me?  Even being drugged up on painkillers, JJ knew. He knew Luke wasn’t lying. He knew, upon any chance that he got, Luke would kill JJ. and that wasn’t even what terrified JJ the most. What did, was knowing that Luke cared so little about him that he would kill him without a second thought.

Rubbing at his eyes, JJ tries to ease the anxiety in his chest, tries to snuggle into John B’s arms and fall asleep, but it never comes. He just lays there, eyes wide open, for what feels like hours, teeth digging into his lower lip so deeply it draws blood. Giving into temptation, JJ leans over and grabs his phone, ignoring the pain that surges up his side. He opens instagram and clicks onto his messages, not even bothering to read Pope’s latest message and just going straight onto the other males account.

Too large of a number to be true looks back at JJ on the screen under followers, along with the number of posts on Pope’s account. They were all pictures of him dressed up nicely, or downing a glass of wine and dancing with some friends from his old home. His hair was much shorter than what it was now, muscles slightly smaller and smile forced. Pope did not seem comfortable in his life of almost royalty. JJ almost scoffs out a laugh. 

Scrolling down further, JJ stops short on a video Pope had uploaded mere days ago. He was seated at a pottery wheel, spinning it round and round, his fingers moving in and out at the perfect pace. JJ bites his lower lip. He shouldn’t be getting hard over something so simple such as Pope making some sort of pottery art, it was stupid and weird of him to do so, but, he couldn’t help it.

He hadn’t let Pope finger him in the treehouse, JJ usually liked the burn of sliding down without prep, for he hated how intimate it felt. But watching the video, JJ couldn’t help but allow his mind to spiral, images upon images making his dick chub up in his boxers.

“Shit.” JJ curses, dragging a hand down his face. 

Quickly scrolling away from the post in hopes of removing the thought of Pope getting him off by fingering him, JJ stops short on a post that has his heart dropping. Pope is holding a girl close to him, their lips pressed together and smiles on their faces. What the fuck? Pope has a girlfriend?  Pope cheated on his girlfriend?

JJ may have been deemed a screwup upon birth, but there was no way in hell that he was a condoner of cheating. It’s hard for him to sleep, knowing he had slept with someone else's boyfriend without even considering the possibilities. Fucking hell, of course something like this would happen as soon as a hot, new kid arrives in town. JJ thinks to himself, pulling the blankets further over his shoulder. I’m fucking screwed.

When the two boys arrive at school the next morning, JJ is quick to collect his books and dodge Rafe’s attack, heading straight for his first class in hopes of finding Pope and confronting him. In the shitty gym before him, JJ is able to see Pope through the open door, talking to some other asshole kooks and laughing. JJ rolls his eyes. 

His leg bounces the entirety of his class, eyes anxiously watching the clock before lunging up and out of his seat down the hall at the sound of the bell, jogging past talking students and skidding to a stop outside of the locker rooms. He waits a few moments for a few guys to leave, before pulling open the door and walking inside, keeping his eyes straight ahead and away from Topper and Kelce who he could see on the side. 

Pope is hidden behind the corner, but before JJ could get to him, a shoulder whacks into his own and causes his body to go crashing into one of the lockers, his wrist screaming with pain. “Watch it, faggot.” Someone JJ didn’t even know snaps, smirking and laughing with his friends as JJ clutches his casted wrist, teeth gritted. 

“JJ?” Pope voices, suddenly at his side, skin damp with water from the showers. “What are you doing here?”

“You have a girlfriend?” JJ cuts straight to the chase, pushing Pope back around the corner away from nosy ears slowing their movements to better hear the conversation. 

Furrowing his brows, Pope tilts his head. “What?” It comes out in a tone that sounded almost as though JJ’s words were absolutely ridiculous. 

JJ rolls his eyes. “I saw that picture on Instagram of you and some girl kissing.” He snaps, shoving at Pope’s chest angrily. “Why did you fuck me if you’re in a relationship? And don’t give me that bullshit of oh I was drunk cause that’s not a fucking excuse.” JJ all but seethes, huffing in breaths to try and calm himself down. 

“Hey, easy.” Pope says, voice calm, a soft smile on his lips. “We’re not actually dating.”

Eyes blowing wide, JJ locks them with Pope’s own. “What?”

Chuckling, Pope shakes his head. “We’re faking it. Trying to sell to her parents that she is straight when she isn’t.” Explains Pope. “She isn’t in a safe environment to come out. We thought it would be the best option and it is.”

“Oh.. um..” JJ can’t seem to speak. 

Face changing from one of softness, to one of pure amusement, Pope arches a brow, crossing his arms. “Were you stalking me on social media?”

Blinking, JJ forces a laugh. “No, of course not.”

“It’s kinda hot how mad you were when you thought I was in a relationship.” Teases Pope, placing his finger under JJ’s chin and lifting it, his breath fanning across JJ’s face.

“Fuck off.” Snarks JJ, pulling away from the gentle grip. 

“I don’t think you actually mean that.”

 At the sound of the last group of people leaving the locker rooms, JJ throws himself at Pope, slotting their lips together with a new kind of desperation. Pope catches him with ease, lifting JJ by the thighs into his arms and carrying them into one of the showers, locking the door and slamming JJ against it.

JJ’s mouth falls open with a gasp, Pope’s tongue sliding into his mouth and twirling around his own, rolling his hips against JJ’s. Moaning softly, JJ pulls away long enough to rip their shirts off before lunging straight back in, teeth clanging and tongues dancing.

“What about your injuries?” Pope breathes between their lips suddenly, hands steady on JJ’s waist.

Rolling his eyes, JJ slams their lips back together, hands playing with the hair on the back of Pope’s head. “Just shut up and fuck me, kook.”

Unwilling to back down from the challenge, Pope gets right back to it, sucking mark after mark along JJ’s throat. Sighing softly, JJ allows his head to lean back against the wall, the feeling of Pope’s rough, yet smooth lips on his skin sending tingles upon tingles through his veins. Removing his hands from Pope’s hair, JJ tries his best at tugging down his pants and underwear just enough for Pope to be able to slide inside, breathing growing heavy. 

It felt far too good to be in Pope’s arms, held against the wall and treated so roughly, yet gently. Pope was an artist, swiping his tongue over the red, aching marks in strokes of absolute delicateness, tickling JJ’s skin and making him moan. “Fuck,” mutters JJ, unbuclking Pope’s belt far too well to be a first time thing in their position and ripping his pants down. “Now, now, please.” he all but sobs, so fucking desperate. “Now.”

Pope does as he is told, slamming inside of JJ rather fast, knocking a gasp from JJ’s lungs as he hits his prostate first try. “Oh god-” Pope cuts himself off, thrusting his hips back and forth at the exact pace as the time in the treehouse, only this time, it was more feral, more desperate. 

“Right there.” JJ says, wrapping his arms around Pope’s neck and holding him close, burying his face in Pope’s shoulder. “Feels so good.”

Pausing momentarily, Pope pulls out until just the tip were inside, before slamming right back in, fastening his pace with each and every thrust. JJ cries out, throwing his head back and rolling his hips, moaning and whining like a bitch in heat.

Pope thrusts forward at a fast pace, not even giving JJ time to prepare for the intensity, grinning as he whines and moans, chest stuttering as he tries to catch his breath. “Faster.” JJ whispers, voice shaky. 

“You’re pretty demanding,” Pope mutters, doing as he is told nonetheless. 

“You don’t really seem to care,” JJ manages to choke out as Pope grabs his hips and drills deeper and faster inside of him.

Pope chuckles through his deep breaths, sweat soaking his already damp skin. “Nah, I like it when someone knows what they want.”

Before JJ can snap back his own cheeky comment, the creaking of the locker room door surrounds the air. Pope stops in an instant, cupping a hand over JJ’s mouth to silence his heavy breaths and soft whines, turning his head towards the shower stalls door. “C’mon, man. No one is here.” a voice says, annoyed. “Why can't the coach do this himself?”

“Just shut up.” Another voice says. “Is anyone in here?”

Neither of the boys dare to speak, eyes wide.

“Let's get out of here.” and just like that, the door slams shut, the other students footsteps retreating. 

Removing the hand from JJ’s mouth, Pope sighs in relief. “That could have gone badly.” he mumbles, beginning to pull out of JJ.

“No,” JJ says, a little too desperately. “What are you doing?”

“What if someone else comes in?” Pope argues.

JJ gives him a look, biting his lower lip and forcing himself back down on Pope’s cock, gasping, eyes rolling back. Pope can’t seem to resist, starting up his thrusts once more, desperate and demanding. 

Growing rather embarrassed by the sounds leaving his lips, JJ slams their lips together, arms wrapping around Pope's neck. Pope smiles into the kiss, hands taking placement on JJ's waist, so gentle, so loving, JJ almost cries.

Rocking their hips in sync, lips still interlocked, JJ holds onto pope tighter than ever before, sighing into his mouth. Pulling away from Pope's lips, JJ fastens his hips, rocking back and forth and bouncing, head throwing back as he moans, gripping Pope's shoulders. "That's it," pope  says, pulling JJ down into each thrust. "Get off on my cock, baby. Show me what you want."

JJ whines, burying his face in the crook of popes neck as his abdomen begins to burn, cock aching, desperate for release. The thrusts fasten once more, pounding up into JJ's prostate so rough, so fucking good, JJ comes untouched with a shout, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Good boy," praises pope, sucking marks into JJ's neck, body shaking through his orgasm. "Fuck, that was hot."

Shoving JJ down on his cock one last time, pope comes, sinking his teeth into JJ's shoulder. JJ cries out, holding on to pope for life, just rocking his hips back and forth, slowly. "What was hot?" He pants, barely able to pull away, his body still shaking.

"You. Everything about you is so attractive, especially you coming untouched."

JJ buries his face into the crook of John B's neck, a blush colouring his cheeks. "Really? Most guys find it weird..” JJ says, rather embarrassed. 

Pope raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Of course its fucking hot. I’ve never slept with a guy who was able to cum untouched. I hope you didn’t mind how I called you a good boy and stuff..”

“No, no, I.. I liked it. And.. I guess it's just one of my many talents.” JJ jokes, using the towel on the floor to wipe the cum from both their bodies.

“I hope I get to see more of them.” Says Pope, pulling his shirt over his head, JJ’s eyes unable to stop staring at the defined muscles on Pope’s stomach. 

Not uttering another word, JJ quickly pulls his clothes back on and heads towards the locked door, letting out a squeak when Pope spins him around and corners him, a hand on the side of JJ’s head. It surprised JJ, seeing someone as awkward and cute as Pope do something so demanding. Pulling a piece of paper from his pocket, Pope hands it over to JJ. “In case you ever need a quick release.” Breathes Pope, biting the lobe of JJ’s ear and dragging. JJ shivers, swallowing thickly. “See you around.”

Chapter Text

Slamming the classroom door open, JJ runs inside at full speed, cheeks flushed and hair matted. “Mr Maybank,” the teacher sighs, rolling her eyes. “You’re thirty minutes late. Care to explain?”

Shaking his head, JJ lets his bag drop from his shoulder. “Nah, I’m good.” He says, drifting down the rows of desks and sitting himself down in the one spare seat beside Kiara who was glaring daggers at him, her eyes venomous. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Hisses Kiara, looking JJ up and down. “You look like a hot mess.”

Smiling sheepishly, JJ combs a hand through his hair, letting out a breath. “Just.. lost track of time.”

Kiara rolls her eyes, digging through her bag and handing JJ a small stack of papers. “Well, you’re lucky I was nice enough to grab you your assignment.”

JJ doesn’t bother responding, turning to face the window and watch the leaves fall from the dying trees outside, not even a year left in them to survive. All that seemed to be filling his mind was Pope. How good it felt having Pope inside of him, faster and harder than the first time, how good Pope was at doing everything JJ wanted without even having to be asked. Fuck, was JJ more than a little happy at the fact that Pope had given him his number. 

The rest of the day goes by relatively fast, and before JJ knows it, he is in the twinkie alongside John B, taking a drag of his cigarette and puffing it out the window. Music blasts loudly through the speakers, edging on a headache deep within JJ’s mind, but he chooses to ignore it and keep the music at a loud volume, grinning. 

“You seem very smitten.” John B says as they enter the quiet home, kicking off their shoes and throwing themselves onto the couch. “Anything you care to share?”

Shrugging, JJ hands over the blunt to John B’s awaiting hand. “It was probably a stupid thing, but, it was stupidly fucking good.”

Laughing, John B takes a drag of the blunt. “How stupid are we talking?”

“I fucked a guy at that party in the treehouse and I saw that he had a turns out fake girlfriend so I confronted him and we ended up fucking again in the locker rooms..” JJ trails off, smiling to himself.

John B’s jaw drops, unable to contain his laughter. “You sly fucker! That’s why you missed maths?”

JJ nods.

“Damn, man. Was it good?”

Letting his head drop back, JJ can’t stop himself from smirking, unable to get the images out of his mind. “Fuck yeah, dude. He was so gentle yet so rough at the same time.” Drawls JJ, head becoming floaty. “He ended up giving me his number in case I ever needed some release.”

“Fucking hell.” Says John B, putting out the blunt and patting JJ’s shoulder. “You’ve found a good one.”

“Should I go for it?” JJ asks, tilting his head to face his friend. “Should I text him whenever I need a quick fuck?”

Smirking, John B flicks JJ between his eyes. “Yes, man. C’mon, you just told me the sex was great and you look pretty fucking happy. So go for it.” 

“Okay, I will then.”

“Good.”

******

“I’ll be right back with your order.” JJ says, smiling sweetly and piling the menus onto his arm, drifting back behind the counter and pinning up the table's order. “Yo, new order, man.”

Kiara’s dad gives him a quick thumbs up before refocusing on whatever it was that he was cooking. JJ takes that as his opportunity to pull out his phone and check his notifications, scrolling through instagram and clicking on Pope’s account. One new post was up, another pottery video, and JJ has to force himself not to watch it, chewing his lower lip.

He couldn’t get Pope out of his head. JJ was one to do the whole ‘no strings sex’ quite often. He wasn’t in the right headspace for a relationship, at least that’s what he told himself, and nobody would want to have to deal with his shit twenty four seven. But the sex was never good enough for JJ to constantly be thinking about it. 

It was probably just because of the fact that he hadn’t been fucked in a while, but, Pope was unbelievably good and strong in the sense that he could easily fill out JJ’s deepest desires. Most guys finished way earlier than JJ, and would hardly ever keep going until JJ did so himself. But with Pope, he had a good pace- JJ shakes his head. God, what am I doing? 

After hitting the follow back button on Pope’s account, JJ pockets his phone and takes the fresh tray of food to one of his tables, smiling sweetly to seem at least like a decent person. A few drunk, old guys had just taken a seat at the far end of the restaurant and JJ quickly overtook it from one of the new waiters who seemed anxious. “I’ve got this, don’t worry.” He says, pulling out his notebook and putting on a smile. “Hi guys, what can I get for you?”

The men look over at JJ and smirk drunkenly. “You can give us a taste.”

Ignoring the comment and insistent eyes looking JJ up and down, JJ gets out his pencil. “Any drinks I could get started for you, or would you like me to list off our specials?”

Instead of giving a response, one of the men reaches forward and squeezes JJ’s arse, grinning. JJ flinches, quickly shoving the hand away and taking a step back. “Sir, we have a zero sexual assault policy against our waiters, please order something or I will have to ask you to leave.”

“You’re no fun.” another man says, grabbing hold of JJ’s non-casted wrist and forcing him forward. JJ stumbles at the strength, almost crying out when his hand meets the bulge in the man's pants. “C’mon, ask for a break and suck me off.”

Inhaling deeply, JJ pulls his hand away and breathes out. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Now.” JJ turns on his heels and walks away, ignoring the disgust coiling through his stomach at the thought of him allowing it to happen, finding a safe place behind the counter.

“You okay?” A voice asks, and JJ jumps. “Thanks for taking that table, how come they're leaving?”

Placing a hand on his chest at the sight of Katy-Jane beside him, pouring a cup of coffee. “Yeah. I asked them to leave.”

Katy-Jane furrows her brows. “Why?”

“They were being inappropriate, that’s why and I’m not letting any more sick assholes think that they can come in here drunk and touch the waiters.”

“He touched you?”

“Two of them, but that's besides the point.” JJ mutters, combing a hand through his hair. “They won’t be coming back, and if they do, I won’t hesitate to chase them out with a baseball bat.”

Placing a hand on JJ’s shoulder to keep him from leaving, Katy-Jane makes JJ look at her. “You need to tell our boss, this shouldn’t be happening.”

Shrugging the hand away, JJ shakes his head. “No point. He can’t do anything to stop it from happening. It’s happened before, so if any drunk bastards come in, spread the word to come and get me and I’ll take care of it.”

“You shouldn’t be taking all of this on yourself.” She argues.

“KJ, seriously, I’m fine.” JJ assures, forcing a smile. “Just get back to work, okay?”

When it’s finally closing time and JJ is in bed with John B beside him, out cold as always, JJ is surprised to find a new message from Pope staring back at him on his screen.

Are you stalking me again?

Rolling his eyes, JJ types out a response.

How are you both so awkward and confident at the same time? One minute you’re all nervous and the next you’re fucking me senseless in the showers at school

I don’t know, you do something to me

JJ is even more surprised at Pope’s quick response.

don't you go falling for me, alright? all this is is fucking. no strings okay. 

no strings. don't go falling for me either

JJ snorts.

don't flatter yourself, kook. 

You’re even more snappy than usual, everything okay?

Ignoring the guilt pooling in his stomach once again, JJ sighs.

Yeah. Just had a shitty shift.

Wanna talk about it?

It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.

That's not really an answer, JJ. What happened?

JJ rolls his eyes.

Some drunk guys came in so I took over the table from one of the newbies. One of the guys grabbed my ass and the other grabbed my wrist and forced me to touch him before asking me to suck him off.

What the fuck?

Like I said, it's nothing that hasn’t happened before.

So what, that doesn’t give them the right to sexually assault you, JJ. You need to tell your boss.

He can’t do anything about it, and why do you care so much? You aren’t my boyfriend or anything

I may not be your boyfriend or someone you consider a friend, but I have every right to be angry when I hear someone I know has been touched inappropriately and nonconsensual. 

Can we please just drop it? I can handle myself. 

Okay.

Turning off his phone, JJ places it on the bedside table, cuddling up under the covers and squeezing his eyes shut. All he wanted was to get tonight's shift out of his mind.

Chapter Text

A sunday morning was a busy time for the restaurant, families stopping by for a bite to eat after church or the guys deep in AA dropping in for everything sweet to eat, spending hours upon hours trying every new sweet item on the menu. JJ quite enjoyed working those mornings, hearing all the guys stories and why they realised they needed to choose their life over alcohol. The only bad thing? It made JJ wish Luke went into rehab and become the dad he never had. 

But when morning turned to night and JJ was counting down the minutes for his shift to end, those same drunk assholes showed up, piling into the same table as last time. Even a few feet away, JJ could smell the booze pooling off of them. JJ grimaces. “What can I get for you guys?” Asks JJ, clearing his throat and looking down at his notebook. 

“You again.” Slurs one of the men. “You change your mind or what?”

“No.” JJ says harshly. “I haven’t. Are you going to order something or will I have to ask you to leave again?”

“Easy, easy. Don’t get so riled up, it’s not a good look on you.”

Gritting his teeth, JJ stops himself from causing a scene. “Would you like more time to look at the menu-”

Cutting JJ off, a hand places itself on his shoulder from behind and pulls him away. JJ stumbles, yelping, and is prepared to bite whoevers head off that it was, only to stop himself in his tracks. Pope stands before him, hands at his sides, clenched into fists. “You need to leave. Now.” Orders Pope. “You’re drunk and are harassing the staff. Get lost.”

“What did you just say?” One of the men says, standing from his seat.

“I said, get the fuck out. Now.” Pope replies, stepping into the guys space and shoving him backward. 

“Hey,” JJ cuts in, pushing Pope back. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Scoffing dryly, Pope rolls his eyes. “Can you seriously not see what was about to happen here?” JJ flinches at the authoritative tone. “They were going to chase your ass outside and try to rape you.” Turning to face the drunk men still standing in awe, Pope points towards the door. “Get the fuck out, now!”

“Pope, stop it-”

“What’s going on over here?” Kiara’s dad is saying suddenly, watching the men walk out of the restaurant at a fast pace. “Why are customers leaving?”

“Are you that blind to not be able to know what’s been going on around here?” Pope all but snarls, glaring daggers at Kiara’s dad. “Those drunk assholes have been harassing the staff, and have more importantly been trying to force JJ to do things.”

“Pope!” JJ yells, forcing Pope to lock eyes with him. “Outside, now.”

Grabbing onto Pope’s wrist, JJ pulls him outside and sends a harsh shove against Pope’s chest. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, showing up at my work and causing a scene?” 

Eyes widening, Pope takes a step back. “The guy tried to get you to give him a blowjob in the bathroom, JJ. He made you touch him and you’re just gonna let it slide?”

“Yes!” Screams JJ, throwing his arms in the air. “It’s happened more times than I can count, so yes, I’m gonna let it fucking slide. What I’m not gonna let slide is you showing up at my work and expecting me to crumble and thank you for saving me when I am not a damsel in fucking distress, Pope. I have told you countless times that I can handle myself, but you just can’t seem to get that we are fuck buddies. You are not my boyfriend, nor are you my friend. If you keep this up, getting to fuck me whenever we both need it is off the table, you hear me?”

“Seriously?” Pope says, voice wavering with an anger JJ had never heard before. “I didn’t come here to try and ‘save’ you. All I wanted was to talk to your boss and tell him what was going on, but on my way in, I see you trying to tell some shitfaced old guys to order something and I just lost it. I know that I’m not your boyfriend, but not having that title is not going to stop me from protecting you when you can’t seem to admit to yourself that you fucking need help from time to time, JJ. Send me a text when you’re ready to admit that to yourself.”

Leaving a stunned JJ in his stance, Pope disappears off down the docks without another word. Eyes wide, chest stuttering as he tries to breathe, JJ drags a hand down his face, forcing away the tears. He knew Pope was right on the most part, but JJ wasn’t someone who allowed anyone to help him. And there was no way in hell that he was going to apologise for it.

Turning on his heel, JJ walks back inside of the restaurant with his head slightly bowed, picking up his pencil and notebook he had dropped on his way out with a sigh. Mr Carrera is waiting for him out the back behind the counter, arms crossed and facial expression unreadable. “I’m so sorry about that, sir.” JJ manages to mumble out, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what came over Pope, it won’t happen again.”

“Is what he said true?” Mr Carrera replies. “Have you been sexually harrassed by customers?”

Pausing, JJ swallows dryly. “Um.. There have been a few times, yeah. But I’ve been able to handle it.”

Mr Carrera shakes his head. “You shouldn’t have to be handling it, JJ. You’re seventeen. I’m the adult here, you should have come to me.”

JJ shrugs. “I guess I’m just used to it, I didn’t know any better. I’ll come to you from now on, I promise.”

“Good. Go home, you’ve been here long enough.”

“Okay.” JJ nods. “Okay.”

The entire drive home, JJ can’t get what Pope did out of his head. What gave Pope the right to think that he could show up unannounced at JJ’s work that JJ had never mentioned to him and cause a scene? JJ understands that he was just trying to protect JJ, but he didn’t sign up for a relationship. He didn’t sign up for a protector, for JJ didn’t need to be protected, he could take care of himself. 

******

It had been over two weeks since their hookup in the locker room, and JJ was craving some type of release. He was still pissed off, but the anger was aimed towards Kiara for the time being so JJ can let it slide for now, can’t he? All week, Kiara had been giving him shit for hooking up with some random person drunk off his face at Sarah’s party, non stop growling at him for how irresponsible it was of him and JJ was about to snap.

Pull your car behind the school. I’ll be there in five

All JJ gets in response is a thumbs up. 

Tucking his phone back inside of his pocket, JJ ducks down low and ever so slowly exits the study hall, running as fast as he can down the empty hallways and out the back of the school. Pope’s car is already there waiting for him, Pope in the front seat, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. 

Ripping open the door, JJ climbs into Popes lap in an instant, kissing his lips and slamming the door closed. Pope is quick to respond, eager hands pulling down JJ’s shorts and underwear. Teeth clang at the intensity of the kiss, but neither of the teens pull away, hands roaming over pink tinted skin, nails clawing, so fucking desperate, so fucking eager, skin breaks and blood pools.

JJ ignores the pain of it, the burn, and tugs at Pope’s shorts, lifting his hips and sliding the material down Pope’s thighs. “Condom?” Questions JJ, rolling his head back as Pope’s lips suck at his neck, bruising and biting at the skin. JJ’s breaths quicken, hand pressing against the black tinted window, dragging his hips back and forth. 

“Here,” Pope holds up the packet, a smirk crossing his lips as JJ snatches it from his hand and rips it open, sliding it down Pope’s cock with ease. 

He brings two fingers up to JJ’s lips, forcing them open and pressing a weight against JJ’s tongue. A sloppy, dirty moan escapes JJ’s open mouth, sucking eagerly at Pope’s fingers, saliva dripping down his chin. The fingers slide down his throat, and JJ gags, tears falling from the corners of his eyes, but he refuses to pull away, gagging and choking around the two digits. 

Pope knew JJ’s desires far better than JJ expected him to, and God did it make JJ’s dick harden against his stomach and his anger to dissipate, focusing on and only on the fingers fucking in and out of his throat, coating his chin in saliva and cheeks in tears. 

“God, you look so fucking hot choking on my fingers,” Pope grumbles out, pinching JJ’s arse. Whimpering, JJ throws his head back, sticking his tongue out, eyes rolling back.

“Fuck me.” JJ sobs, muffled around Pope’s fingers. “Now, fuck me now.”

Removing his fingers from JJ’s mouth, Pope slides them down to JJ’s hole, circling it in teasing motions. “What are you-” JJ chokes on a gasp, Pope’s fingers sliding home deep inside of JJ. “Wait, Pope-”

Pope’s fingers curl against his prostate, and JJ almost screams, waves upon waves of pleasure flowing through his veins. Pope smirks, cupping a hand over JJ’s mouth to silence the high pitched moans working their way out of his throat. JJ’s eyes roll back, fucking himself up and down on Pope’s fingers, barely able to brace himself for the intense pleasure wracking through his body. “Ah, ah’s-” escape JJ’s mouth, using his grip on Pope’s shoulders as leverage to fuck the two digits deeper inside of him, riding them like a fucking champ, heart pounding against his chest.

JJ should’ve known Pope wouldn’t have listened to him, when it came to safety and ensuring no pain was endured, Pope was always one to ignore someone’s requests. This was usually a huge deal breaker for JJ. He hated the idea of being incredibly intimate with someone, even if it did mean not having to be fucked raw and learning to ignore the pain, to lie to himself that he enjoyed it. But sitting right here, right now in Pope’s lap, fucking himself on Pope’s large fingers, JJ could give less of a fuck if he considered this a deal breaker in the past. JJ needed this like a fucking drug.

Tugging and rubbing and stretching the rim, until JJ was moaning and whimpering all high in the back of his throat right against his ear, his hands grasping desperately at his back, Pope grins, sucking one last mark against JJ’s neck. “That’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers, give yourself what you want.”

JJ holds himself closer to Pope’s body, desperate to keep himself from coming already like some over excited 16 year old, sobbing and shuddering against him, hole clenching over and over around Pope’s fingers working wonders for JJ’s body. He slumps, almost bonelessly against Pope’s front at the feeling of a third finger sliding itself inside of him, panting and chest heaving. “Pope,” JJ says, voice shaky, hands quivering against Pope’s back. “Pope, need you- need you in me, gonna come-”

This time, Pope does as he is told, pulling his fingers from JJ’s hole and taking hold of his hips, sliding JJ down onto his cock. JJ bottoms out with a gasp, clutching Pope’s shoulders, nails piercing his skin as he begins to thrust up into JJ, kissing at his jaw and neck.

“Are we good?” breathes Pope, tickling JJ’s skin and sending tingles down his spine.

“For the time being, yeah.” JJ huffs out, chest stuttering, arms shaking, pushing Pope back against his seat further, bouncing up and down on Pope’s cock erratically. “Just shut up and focus on fucking me.”

Quirking a brow, Pope grabs JJ’s hips and holds him perfectly still, tilting his head slyly. JJ whines all high in the back of his throat, earning a pinch to the thigh at any attempts of movement. “What's the magic word?”

Dropping his head back, JJ sucks in a shaky breath. “Fuck you.”

“That’s not very nice.” Pope says, slamming JJ down on his cock so fucking harsh, so fucking deep, JJ chokes on a sob, eyes rolling back and face falling into the crook of Pope’s neck, breathing deeply. “Try again.”

“Please,” JJ all but sobs, chest stuttering at the aching of his dick, so desperate for release. “Please fuck me.”

“Good boy, was that so hard?” Lifting JJ up, Pope forces him back down at a fast pace, drilling in deep, right against the other males prostate and smirks at the muffled whimper that escapes JJ’s lips. 

Slamming his hands up onto the ceiling of the car, JJ bounces in time to Pope’s thrusts, moaning and whimpering loudly. The car shakes at the intensity, and JJ can’t stop himself from sobbing from ecstasy. JJ was trembling, his eyes completely unfocused, mouth slack, like he hadn't been fucked in months. And when Pope pulled back to thrust up again, JJ moans, arching and gasping, tightening around Pope so good Pope couldn’t stop himself from letting his head fall back and a moan from sliding off his tongue. God did that to do something to his ego

Pope thrusts deep, all in one smooth glide, and JJ cries out, clawing frantically at his back, nails scraping down Pope’s skin, almost hard enough to draw blood. "Might have to gag you again if you keep being so loud," Pope suggests smugly, grabbing a handful of sweaty hair and tugging, JJ’s head pulling backward. "You don't want someone to come find you being such a fucking whore for me, do you?"

JJ gasps as Pope buries in deep and stops, gulping. "N-no." He stammers out, breath ragged. JJ seriously could not believe what Pope did to him and his body, making him such a whiny, desperate mess who could barely speak. It was embarrassing.

"No, what?" Pope bites the top of his ear, giving a sharp thrust that makes JJ arch his back and whine.

"N-no Pope."

"Good boy." Pope whispers, finally giving into his own pent up need and fucking into JJ hard and fast, rocking JJ’s hips back and forth in time with him. JJ moans, long and keening. 

At that, Pope lifts JJ up until just the very tip is still inside of JJ, then slams back in, hard and sudden. JJ shouts, one that turns into a long, drawn out moan as Pope begins to up the tempo, fucking into him hard and fast and dirty, grabbing his wrists and holding them against the ceiling.

JJ yelps with each and every thrust, face going slack with pleasure, unable to deny the fact that Pope was probably one of the best fucks he had ever had, or was the best, for never in his life had a guy been able to fuck him this good in a car.

"Ah, ah, ah," JJ whispers out, Pope holding his wrists tighter.

"Louder." There's a certain bite to it, when Pope says this, that has JJ’s bones shaking and his voice heightening, his back being arched like never before as Pope pounds into him with no mercy, removing his grip on JJ’s wrists to enable himself further leverage.

“I’m so close-” JJ chokes out, dragging his hands down Pope’s pecs. “Choke me on your fingers again.”

“Beg,” Pope groans out, voice deep and gravelly. “Beg for it.”

JJ whimpers pathetically, unable to believe the hold Pope has on him. “Please, please fuck my throat with your fingers.” JJ gasps out. “ Please.”

“Good boy.”

Pressing his fingers to JJ’s lips, Pope shoves them inside, hitting the back of JJ’s throat and making him gag cutely, further tears falling down his cheeks. That familiar heat flows through his abdomen, and JJ reaches down to his aching cock, pumping his hand around it, only for Pope to pin his wrists behind his back, slamming JJ forcefully down on his cock. JJ chokes around Pope’s fingers, crying out. “I want you to come untouched.” Says Pope, rolling his hips in teasing motions. “Can you do that for me?”

Nodding erratically, JJ bounces up and down, back and forth, up and down, back and forth on Pope’s cock, voice heightening in pitch. “Yes, oh my God-”

Throwing his head back, eyes rolling back, the pleasure grows too much for JJ to handle and he comes with a shout, slamming his lips against Pope’s to silence himself. Pope kisses JJ back just as hard, thrusting faster and deeper than ever before, and shoots his release, groaning into JJ’s mouth.

Whimpering, JJ pulls away to catch his breath, wiping the saliva and tears from off his chin, gasping in breaths. Pope goes to pull out, only for JJ to shake his head, gripping Pope’s shoulders tightly. “Not yet,” he gasps out, too sensitive to move. “Not yet.”

Pope seems to understand, and grabs a packet of wipes from inside the door, gently wiping JJ’s face and shirt before cleaning himself up. JJ allows himself to bask in the gentle touch, eyes fluttering shut. And when he is ready, JJ pulls off of Pope’s cock and clambers into the passenger seat. 

“How come you needed a fuck now?” Questions Pope, wiping JJ’s shirt one last time. 

Furrowing his brows, JJ combs a hand through his matted hair, sighing. “Is it necessary to have a reason?”

Pope shakes his head. “No, it’s just you’ve been ignoring me for the past few weeks.”

“Well I just needed a stress reliever,” says JJ, adjusting his shirt and shorts. “A friend of mine has been giving me shit about stuff and I didn’t want to go off on them.”

“Fair enough.”

Pursing his lips, JJ nods slowly. “Okay then, see ya.” Opening up the door, JJ exits the car and slams it shut, hurrying off down the courtyard towards the main entrance. Fuck . He thinks to himself. A deep ache can be felt within his spine, a limp matching his steps and a shake held in his thighs. 

Entering the study hall once more is awkward. All eyes fall on him, watching intently as JJ limps back to his seat, engrossing himself in his maths homework. But, he couldn’t seem to get his mind off of Pope. That was one of the hardest, hottest fucks JJ has ever had. He never lets anyone finger him, for it felt far too intimate for something with no strings, but when Pope curled his finger against JJ’s prostate, JJ swore he saw stars.

Cutting him from his thoughts, the empty chair beside him scrapes across the floor and a bag drops, forcing a jump through JJ’s body. “Jesus-” He goes to say, only for his mouth to clamp shut at the sight of Pope sitting beside him, pulling out his books and beginning his own work. “What the fuck?”

Arching a brow, Pope looks over at JJ in confusion. “What?”

“Why are you here?” Questions JJ. “I’ve never seen you in this class.”

“That’s because I usually go to the library.” Replies Pope. “Did you think because we fuck you wouldn’t have the possibility of having me in a few of your classes?”

JJ doesn’t respond, a blush painting his cheeks.

Pope chuckles almost awkwardly, the same way that made JJ more confused than ever. “This school is tiny, JJ. You’re gonna be seeing me between our hookups.”

“I knew that.” Mumbles JJ, averting his gaze back down at his books, and Pope does the same, spinning his pencil around his fingers. 

Neither of them speak for a while, just complete and utter silence, until all that Pope could seem to hear was JJ’s groans of frustration. “You okay?” He asks.

JJ shakes his head. “I don’t understand any of this shit.”

“Why don’t I tutor you?” Pope offers, looking up from the book and over at JJ.

“Why?” JJ whispers, furrowing his brows.

Pope shrugs. “We help each other out with sex, think of this as another way for me to help you out.” 

Chewing at the inside of his cheek, JJ is quick to give in, which seemed to be a recurring thing when it came to Pope. “Fine. What will I help you out with?”

“I’ll get back to you on that.”

Chapter Text

JJ can’t seem to speak, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open to the point that if he left it like that any longer, he would end up catching flies. Closing his mouth by a hand under his chin, JJ clears his throat, holding on tight to his bag hanging from his shoulder. “We’ll be the only ones here for a while,” Pope’s voice cuts through his thoughts, nodding in the direction of the front door. “My parents are working late.”

Nodding, JJ forces a smile. “Sweet, lead me inside then.”

As soon as Pope pushes open the door, perfect, white walls hit JJ’s eyes, along with a winding, black banister staircase and an expensive looking painting hanging from the wall. “I’ll give you a tour if you want?”

“Sure.” JJ manages to say. 

Smiling, Pope leads JJ around the entirety of the beautiful, pristine white painted home, and JJ is even too shocked to make any comments or give Pope shit. He hadn't expected Pope to live in this nice of a house, it was even nicer than Sarah Camerons, even if it was smaller. It felt more homelier, more warm, and happy. 

And once they are seated on Pope’s bed, getting out their books, JJ finally says something. “I didn’t expect it to feel so.. Warm.. so full of love.”

Pope gives a smile, handing JJ a pencil. “My parents and I are really close, and with me being an only child, we try our hardest to spend as much time together as possible.”

JJ nods. He liked the sound of that, even if it did make him a little envious. 

They get to work relatively quickly, JJ slowly able to pick up on what Pope was saying and answer a few questions on his own, before he grew bored and wanted to have some fun.

Sliding off the bed, JJ drops to his knees and pulls Pope’s legs apart, catching the lace that holds his shorts up with his teeth and pulling. Sighing, Pope looks down at JJ, shaking his head. “We’re doing maths, JJ.” 

Shrugging, JJ tucks his fingers under the waistband of Pope’s shorts, tugging them down his thighs. “Maths can wait.” He says, smirking as Pope’s ever hardening cock springs free, JJ’s hand wrapping around it. “Let me suck you off.”

Pope sighs once more. “Fine. But quickly.”

JJ grins, and takes Pope right into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the length and cupping his hand around Pope’s balls, squeezing every so often. Pope throws his head back, sucking in a breath. “Shit.”

Pulling off, JJ suckles at the head, pressing soft kisses to the head just to tease Pope, grinning slyly when Pope throws his head back again, panting. “C’mon, don’t do that.” Puffs Pope, looking down at JJ with an unamused expression on his face. “Suck me off properly.”

“Mm, nah, I’m good.” Replies JJ, licking a strip from the base of Pope’s ever hardening cock to the tip, circling his tongue around the slit. Pope hisses, gripping the sheets, and tries to slow his breathing. 

“Fuck.” Pope mutters between gritted teeth, reaching his hands forward and tangling his fingers through JJ’s soft hair, pulling roughly at the strands, knuckles dragging against his scalp. JJ whimpers, the muffled sound travelling down the cock in his mouth, and Pope curses once more, tugging at JJ’s hair. “Can I tie your hands behind your back?”

JJ’s dick chubs up in his boxers at the words and he moans happily, eyes fluttering. “Yeah,” he breathes, forcing himself not to chase after Pope’s cock as he leans over him, a plain back tie held in his hands. 

Pope holds JJ’s wrists together and ties them tight, but not tight enough to dig into the skin, before sitting back and admiring his work. “Fuck, you look so hot.” JJ can’t help but blush, opening his mouth wide as Pope’s thumb dips between his lips, heavy on his tongue. “You gonna be good and let me fuck your face?” Questions Pope, ripping JJ’s head back by a hand in his hair.

Moaning softly, JJ nods, gasping in breaths. “Yes, fuck yes.”

Pope smirks. “Good boy.”

Sliding his cock across JJ’s tongue, Pope thrusts almost instantly to the back of JJ’s throat, burying the blonde boy's nose deep into the bottom of his abdomen, a cute, sloppy gag escaping JJ’s mouth. “That’s it,” Pope praises, keeping JJ’s head perfectly still as he fucks down into his throat, enticing more and more gags from JJ’s swollen, red lips, blue eyes blinking away tears as he looks up at Pope through his thick, dark lashes. “Open up your throat for me.”

Hollowing out his cheeks, JJ is able to let more of Pope down his throat, eyes squeezing closed as the head of Pope’s cock slides down his throat in rough, fast thrusts. He chokes and gags, tears falling down his cheeks, saliva spilling down the corners of his mouth as he struggles to breathe, fighting against the tie that binds his wrists together. 

Pulling JJ off his cock, Pope waits just a few seconds for JJ to suck in a breath before forcing his head back down on his cock, slamming roughly over and over again down his small throat, groaning. “Fuck,” Pope says, watching his cock disappear between JJ’s lips sucking at the base, ramming and thrusting at too fast of a pace for JJ to keep up that it gets to the point that he just sits there on his knees and takes it, coughing around the saliva in his mouth. “Oh my god.”

JJ allows his eyes to flutter closed, trying to brace himself for each and every thrust, unable to ignore his dick chubbing up in his boxers, straining almost painfully at being used and fucked so roughly. It wasn’t very often that JJ allowed himself to be throat fucked, for the last time it happened, the guy held him down so long JJ passed out, and not in the pleasurable way. It made JJ panic, made him want to pull away and punch the guy, but he couldn’t. Even if their strength level was around the same, choking so deeply made JJ feel weak, made him feel panicky. But with Pope, JJ seemed to know that he could trust him, that no matter what, Pope would make sure JJ had every chance to breathe, and that only made it more pleasurable.

Pope begins to slow his thrusts for a while, cupping JJ’s cheek as he sucks in breaths between the thrusts, blinking up at Pope softly, floaty. “You okay?” Pope asks. 

Nodding, JJ pulls off fully, sucking in a deep breath. “Yeah,” he hums. “Fuck my throat, let me get you off.”

Pope can’t help but grin. Sinking his fingers through JJ’s hair, Pope thrusts forward forcefully, a deep, sloppy gag escaping JJ’s mouth, causing further saliva to cover his chin and face. Pope doesn’t let up even for a second, chasing his orgasm with deep, sharp thrusts down JJ’s throat, so pleasurable and painful, JJ hopes a bruise forms so he can feel Pope for a few more days. 

“Holy fuck-” Pope gasps out, stopping his hips and just using JJ’s face as he pleases, the thrusts becoming sloppy, more erratic.

As best as he can, JJ sucks down on Pope’s cock, choking and gagging loudly and looking up at him through tear soaked lashes. The sweet sounds leaving JJ’s lips has Pope spilling over the edge, ramming his cock right down JJ’s throat with a shout, eyes rolling back, chest stuttering. JJ coughs and chokes, come spilling down his throat and forcing JJ to swallow. 

Sucking at Pope’s cock, JJ slowly begins to pull back until all of Pope’s length is out of his mouth and he can gasp in breaths, coughing and heaving. His throat was burning, scratchy and raw, but JJ thrived off the feeling, his head bowing. 

“Here,” Pope says once he has caught his breath, leaning over JJ and undoing the tie from his wrists. “That’s better.”

JJ falls forward into Pope’s lap, and Pope catches him quickly, lifting JJ with far too much ease into his arms, placing one leg over each side of his waist. “Hey, hey, are you okay?” Pope’s hand is cupping JJ’s cheek so gently, so softly, JJ keens, leaning into the touch. 

“Mhm,” JJ manages out, voice croaky. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Grabbing a wipe, Pope cleans JJ’s face up for the second time that day, before going back to cupping his cheeks and watching nervously. JJ smiles tiredly, floaty, and whines when Pope’s thigh moves against his aching dick. “Oh, is that what you want? You want to get off too?”

JJ nods, panting. “Please, let me.. Let me ride your thigh.”

Smirking, Pope lifts JJ over one thigh, keeping a steady hold on JJ’s hips as he gets himself off on Pope’s thigh, rocking back and forth at a fast pace, panting and whining all high in the back of his throat. It was embarrassing, getting himself off on Pope’s thigh, but JJ turned submissive whenever it came to being teased with somebody's knee or thigh.

He comes faster than he ever has before, gasping, thighs trembling. “That’s it, good boy.” Pope praises, holding JJ through his high. “Good boy.”

Pulling away, JJ slides off of Pope’s lap and stands on shaky legs, wiping himself down. “Are you ready to get back to math?” He asks, trying to ignore the feeling coiling through his stomach at the thought of moving on so quickly, of not allowing Pope to take care of him further, to make sure that JJ was okay.

“Yeah, sure.” Pope replies easily, yet there is a slight hesitation in his voice, pulling up his shorts and grabbing the books. 

No matter how hard JJ tries to concentrate on what Pope was saying, he couldn’t stop his mind from travelling, from thinking of how gentle Pope was with him, for most of the guys he hooked up with before Pope just sent him packing after a quick fuck instead of making sure JJ was okay. Even though they were no strings, Pope still made sure that JJ was okay, that was more than anyone had ever done for him before. 

******

JJ arrives at John B’s a little later than he had originally anticipated. It was almost pitch black, and he could only just see the outline of John B’s body on the rocking hammock, sipping at a can of beer and watching the waves in the distance. 

“Yo,” JJ greets, shaking the hammock and grinning at the glare that John B sends his way, a hand clutched over his heart.

“Where have you been?” Questions John B, shuffling slightly as JJ joins him and takes a sip of his beer. 

Shrugging, JJ smirks. “Oh you know, just hanging out.”

John B rolls his eyes. “And by that you mean hooking up with your fuck buddy?”

“Exactly that. Only there was math involved.”

“What the fuck?”

JJ snorts. “Tutoring, dumbass.”

“He’s tutoring you?”

Going into every deep, illicit detail, JJ is surprised by John B’s calm expression on his face rather than his usual bulging eyes and hung open mouth, hands raised in the air begging for it to stop while JJ laughed.

“Wait, so you got back to math without letting him give you more aftercare?” John B asks, eyes wide, eyebrows furrowed in disapproval. “Why?”

JJ sighs. “It’s too-”

Cutting him off, John B rolls his eyes. “Don’t give me that ‘it’s too intimate’ bullshit. Aftercare is important. Do you know how bad you could feel without it?”

JJ goes silent for a few moments, chewing at his lower lip. “I’ve never had it before.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never had aftercare before.. No guy I’ve slept with has done it, so I never expect anyone to.” Explains JJ, clearing his throat, head bowed and hands fidgeting with the bracelets on his wrists. “I never knew what it was really until Pope took the time to clean me up and make sure I was okay without even having to ask me. He just did it.”

John B nods slowly. “Sounds to me like you’re scared that if you let him give you aftercare, you’ll let your guard down.”

JJ doesn’t respond. He can’t bring himself to.

“He might be someone you could love.” John B says, patting JJ’s knee.

“Or he’s just somebody I fuck.” Mumbles JJ, ignoring the fear that coils through him at the thought of falling deeply in love with Pope. 

John B shrugs. “Or that. Just.. just don’t stop yourself from letting you be happy. You deserve a guy who will treat you right, JJ.”

Once again, JJ does not utter a word, and John B does not ask him to. They just sit there in perfect silence, watching the waves crash against the shore under the light of the moon, a heaviness filling JJ’s bones at the thought of allowing himself to love someone. Especially someone like Pope. 

Chapter Text

Wanna come over?

JJ can’t seem to ignore the fire that flows through his veins upon reading over the words, his heart pounding and chest filling with butterflies of anticipation. Chewing at his lower lip, JJ types out a response, his head already filled with images upon images of what Pope might do to him. 

Uh yes.

It had been a few days since their ‘tutoring’ session and JJ had been desperate for a fuck. He knows they agreed to just text whenever and hook up, but he didn’t want to seem like some over excited fan waiting to meet their idol. This was a simple arrangement of no strings sex. 

Ring the doorbell when you arrive

Sending a quick thumbs up, JJ throws back the covers across John B’s face and rips open his allocated drawer, fumbling for a decent looking shirt and shorts. John B sits up, a confused expression on his face and almost laughs out loud at JJ’s anxious demeanor struggling to find a pair of shoes. “Where are you going?” He questions, stifling a yawn behind his hand. 

“Tutoring.” JJ replies.

John B furrows his brows. “You’re wearing your nicest clothes for tutoring?”

Rolling his eyes, JJ turns to face his friend with an exasperated expression on his face, tilting his head to the side. John B’s mouth falls open and he nods, flopping back onto the bed. “Right. Will I see you later?”

JJ shrugs, smiling smugly. “Depends how long he wants to tutor me.”

“Dude, seriously?”

JJ throws his head back with a laugh. “See ya.”

Stepping out of the quiet home, JJ throws his leg over his bike and heads off down the road, breathing in deeply as the wind blows through his hair. It was growing a lot longer than he relatively kept it, but it seemed that Pope enjoyed tugging at the long locks, and JJ didn’t want to cut it off and stop the other male from dragging his knuckles over his scalp. 

The large house comes into view, just as beautiful as the last time he was there, and he pulls into the driveway where one other car was parked off to the side, even nicer than Pope’s. It suddenly makes JJ feel nervous. Was it Pope's parents? Grandparents? Family friend? Pope was kind, but who says his family would be?

JJ parks his bike and walls up to the front doors with a racing heart. He presses the doorbell, jumping at the loud sound, and almost yells at the sight of the unfamiliar women at the door. “Uh. Hi.” JJ greets, clearing his throat. “Is Pope around?”

The woman smiles, and not in the fake, bitchy kind JJ had seen from wealthier women upon glancing at him. It was genuine, kind, just like Pope’s. “You must be JJ.” She replies, opening the door wider and allowing JJ inside. “Pope’s told us so much about you.”

“Oh?” JJ can’t help but blush slightly.

“That you showed him around on his first day, thank you for being so welcoming.” JJ almost laughs. Pope actually went with it? “I’m Fern, Pope’s mother. It’s lovely to finally meet you.”

Pulling on a smile, JJ nods. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Pope appears from the staircase wearing a happy smile, ignoring the look JJ shoots his way. “Oh hey, I didn’t hear you pull up.”

“Hey.”

Clapping her hands together, Fern presses a quick kiss to Pope’s cheek. “I’ll leave you two boys to it. I have to run and grab some things from your dad's work for the party tonight.” Voices Fern, patting JJ’s shoulder. “It was nice meeting you, JJ. I hope to see you around more often.”

The door closes shut behind her, and JJ lets out a sigh, dragging his hands down his face. “Dude, c’mon.” He says. “You stayed in your room on purpose, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chuckles Pope, nodding in the direction of the stairs.

JJ follows after him without question, eagerly hopping up the steps two at a time behind the other male. The bedroom is even cleaner than the last time JJ was here, that he almost gets distracted again by how nice it looks until Pope brushes past him. At a fast pace, JJ drops to his knees as soon as the door slams shut and hooks his fingers under the waistband of Pope’s jeans and pulls, the zipper already down and between his teeth. “Hey,” Pope says easily, cupping a hand to JJ’s cheeks and stopping his hands. “That’s not why I asked you to come over.”

JJ quirks a brow, smirking and tilting his head. Pope’s cock was hardening under his hand, the outline a sight JJ had been desperate to see. “That’s not what your dicks telling me.” Teases JJ, grabbing the material of Pope’s boxers and ever so slowly pulling them down, his cock springing free in front of JJ’s face. JJ’s heart stutters. “Why don’t I suck you off and you tell me why you wanted me here?”

Sighing, Pope gives in relatively easily, sitting himself down on the edge of his bed and spreading his thighs for JJ to sit between them, combing a hand through the soft blonde locks and taking hold tightly. JJ’s eyes roll back, and he opens his mouth wide, slamming Pope’s cock down his throat at too fast of a pace than he was used to, forcing a strangled choke from his lips and his eyes to fill with tears.

“Whoa, hey.” Pope voices, gentle, cupping JJ’s cheeks and pulling him off his cock. “Take it slow. There’s no rush.”

“Sorry.” JJ mumbles, embarrassed, eyes turned down to the floor. “I just got.. Over excited.”

Smirking, Pope shakes his head. “It's okay, just, take it slow now. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

Nodding, JJ slows down the pace, wrapping his lips around the head and suckling softly, so fucking eager to please and hear those sounds Pope makes that drive him fucking insane. Pope lets out a low groan, curling his hands through JJ’s hair and pulling, sliding his cock further into JJ’s mouth.

JJ hollows out his cheeks and flutters his eyes closed, taking as much of Pope into his mouth as he could without choking and making Pope pull him off again, resting his hands on Pope’s thighs. It felt far too good having the weight of Pope’s cock on his tongue, just sliding in and out at a leisurely pace, Pope’s pants and groans making JJ’s skin tingle.

“I asked you to come over..” Pope gasps out. “So I-”

Cutting him off, JJ pulls back and slams his face down to the point Pope was buried deep in his throat. Pope lets out a shout, tugging roughly at JJ’s scalp, and JJ moans at the feeling, fucking whimpers, the tears already falling down his cheeks. “Fuck-” Pope chokes out, thrusting his hips forward. “Shit- no this isn’t going to work.”

Before JJ can look up at him in question, Pope is pulling JJ off of him and throwing him onto the bed, slamming his face into the pillows and forcing his ass high in the air, ripping down his shorts and pouring lube over his hole. JJ moans, gripping the sheets and gritting his teeth as Pope works him open, sliding ever so slowly over his prostate.

“Fuck me.” Begs JJ, muffled by the pillow, hands gripping the sheets. “Please, fuck me, Pope.”

Pope does not waste any time, slipping on a condom and slamming home inside of JJ, hands tight on JJ’s hips. JJ whines, fucking keens and just lays there, gasping and rolling his hips in time with Pope’s thrusts. “I invited you over because I need you to be my date to some party my parents have to go to.” Says Pope, snaking his hand under JJ’s front and cupping his chin, forcing his head back and heightening the sound of his broken moans. JJ goes with the motion easily, panting. “Nobody there will know you, and I’m sure my parents won’t care if we sneek off and fuck in my car again.”

Pulling most of the way out, Pope drills right back in, kissing up and down JJ’s throat. JJ whines, panting and gasping in breaths, hands struggling to keep him upright as Pope fucks into him harder and faster with each and every thrust, rolling his hips in ways JJ had never felt before, and fuck did he love it. “Fine.” JJ grits out, throwing his head back. “I’ll go. Just fuck me faster.”

Smirking against JJ’s skin, Pope chuckles, sinking his teeth into his throat. JJ gasps, eyes rolling back, and makes a choked sound as Pope ups the tempo even more, slamming in over and over again, skin slapping against skin loudly. 

JJ can’t seem to get enough, his back arching further and further until a deep ache flowed through his spine, removing Pope’s hand from his chin and falling into the pillows once more, muffling the sounds escaping his throat. Pope doesn’t seem impressed, his hand thrusting through JJ’s hair and tugging roughly, forcing his back against Pope’s front, head pulled back. JJ hisses, the sound painful, but lets it drag out into a moan as Pope thrusts slam right against his prostate, a feeling that has JJ seeing stars.

“Do I- I have to- wear something- something posh?” JJ chokes out, voice snide, and makes an ‘mph!’ sound as Pope slips his tongue into his mouth, eagerly licking around and twirling their tongues together. JJ moans, eyes fluttering closed at the pure bliss of it, unable to focus on anything but Pope’s tongue in his mouth. 

Breaking away, a line of saliva connected by their tongues, Pope chuckles, curling his hand through JJ’s hair and slamming him back down onto the bed, the hand tight and heavy on JJ’s skull. JJ gasps, and cries out as Pope pulls back, then slams right back in, pounding and pounding in fast motions. “Ah- ah-” gasps JJ, tears filling his eyes at the intensity, the thrusts borderline painful, but still beautiful and skin burningly good, forcing each and every embarrassing sound from JJ’s throat.

Every time they hooked up, it was rough. That’s how JJ liked it, and he was sure Pope enjoyed it too from the feeling of it all. But this time was different. It almost felt as though Pope was fucking the brattiness out of him, fucking out the side of him that made JJ get into trouble, that made JJ be seen as a trickster, and God did it make JJ’s heart flutter and his chest stutter at the thought.

“You’ll wear whatever I choose for you to wear.” Pope finally says, sliding his hand down to the back of JJ’s throat and squeezing the sides just the slightest to test the waters. JJ shakes his head, slightly panicked, and Pope removes the hand, placing them both on either side of JJ’s head. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” JJ mumbles, trying to shake the panic the hand on the back of his neck had caused. “Let me ride you.”

Pope likes the sound of that. He quickly pulls out, and flips JJ over his lap, resting his back on the mattress with a deep sigh. Curling his calves up against his thighs at the sides, JJ lifts his body up slightly and lowers himself down onto Pope’s cock at a slow pace, hands pressing onto Pope’s pecs. “C’mon,” groans Pope, letting his head fall back. “Faster.”

Rolling his eyes, JJ does as he is told, slamming down on Pope’s cock and gasping, falling forward slightly. “Fuck-” JJ grits out, digging his nails into Pope’s pecs. 

Pope goes to start thrusting up into him, hands on JJ’s waist, but JJ pushes them off, shaking his head. “No,” he says, sucking in deep breaths. “Let me do it myself.”

JJ loved it when Pope would thrust up into him, but right now, JJ needed to be in charge of what Pope did to him without having to explain why breath play was a big no. Pope doesn’t stop JJ, just lays back, his hands resting on JJ’s thighs, and JJ almost smiles, throwing his head back and shaking his hair as he bounces, pleasure flowing through his veins.

He rolls his hips, testing out different rhythms, and matches the bounces with the roll of his hips, eyes falling closed and mouth hanging open, back arched. Pope groans at the sight, unable to look away as JJ fucks himself on his cock, riding him like a fucking champ, tongue licking his lips every so often as he gasps in breaths. “Fuck, you look so hot.” Pope breathes, running his hands up and down JJ’s thighs, tickling the hairless skin. “Bounce faster, baby.”

JJ’s chest stutters at the words, eyes rolling back, and does as he is told, fastening his pace, further tears pooling his eyes as Pope’s cock slams against his prostate faster and rougher, stars filling his vision. “Oh my God-” JJ gasps out, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “I’m-”

“Not yet,” Says Pope, stern and gutheral, wrapping a hand around JJ’s cock and squeezing.

Yelping, eyes rolling, JJ falls onto Pope’s chest, panting and whining as Pope thrusts up into him, sucking mark after mark over his neck. “Pope, please, I need it, I need to come.”

Pope shakes his head, sinking his teeth into JJ’s collarbone and suckling over the irritated skin. JJ gasps. “Hold it.” Is all that Pope says before he is fucking up into JJ even harder and faster than before, digging his fingers into JJ’s hips so fucking rough, JJ knew it was going to bruise. “You can hold it.”

JJ sobs, fucking whines, pushing up from Pope’s chest and bouncing once more, head thrown back and hair shaking, a sight Pope wanted imprinted in his mind forever. “Please,” begs JJ, chest stuttering, heart pounding. “Please, please, let me come.”

“Now-” Pope gasps out, throwing his head back, pounding into JJ fast and erratic. “Come now.”

Digging his nails into Pope’s pecs, JJ shouts, legs trembling as he comes hard, unable to breathe as Pope fucks him through it, falling forward onto Pope’s chest. With a growl of JJ’s name, Pope slams in one last time before his orgasm takes over his body and he stops, gasping in breaths. 

JJ pulls himself off of Pope with a wince, falling down beside him on the bed and covering his body with a blanket, breathing deeply. “So I’m guessing this party tonight is posh?” He asks, looking over at Pope who laughs, shaking his head.

“I guess, yeah.” Says Pope, grabbing some wipes from his drawer and cleaning off JJ’s body, then his own, throwing them into the bin. “I’m sorry about the choking thing before, I should have asked.”

JJ waves him off, pulling on a smile. “It’s okay. I just don’t have the best memories from it.. But I’m okay with what you did the other day, that was great. Just.. no choking.”

Nodding, Pope hands JJ a shirt, a much larger one than what JJ was wearing and smiles. “I’ll ask from now on what you’re okay with. I’m really sorry for not asking, that was idiotic and unsencere of me.”

JJ doesn’t respond, just pulls on the shirt and blushes at just how long it really was on his body. “What’s with the shirt?” He asks.

“I thought you might want something comfy.” Pope says. “Do you want to cuddle or something? Help wind us down before we have to get ready?”

Pausing, hesitant to answer, JJ nods, smiling small. “Uh, yeah.. Sure.”

Opening up the blankets, Pope pulls JJ’s back against his front, arms snaking around his waist. JJ settles into the hold after a few moments of uncertainty, letting his muscles relax and his body to release its tension. It was nice, being held in Pope’s arms, Pope’s fingertips tracing light patterns across JJ’s skin. Weird, but a good weird.

“Are you okay with wearing a suit?” Pope asks into the silence.

Giggling, JJ shrugs. “That depends on whether I have to wear a bowtie or not.”

Pope laughs. “No, you don’t.”

“Then I feel great.”

It falls silent for a few moments, the only sound being their easy breaths, before Pope is talking once more, tapping JJ’s shoulder and getting him to roll over to face him. “Are you uncomfortable?” 

JJ furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

“You seem tense. Have you not had aftercare before?”

Pausing, JJ bites his lower lip. “No..”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No.”

Chapter Text

“What the actual fuck.” Voices JJ, twisting and turning to get a better angle in the mirror. After a quick shower, Pope had thrown over a random assortment of clothes JJ’s way, not uttering a word of explanation and only giving JJ a look that meant ‘get dressed. And with the gaze held within Pope’s eyes, JJ knew not to be a smartass. 

Turning around from his position facing the bed, Pope’s eyes widen fearfully. “What? Is something wrong?”

JJ shakes his head, sliding his hands down his chest slowly. “No I just.. forgot how good I looked in a tux.”

“Well why wouldn’t you look good?” Questions Pope, stepping forward and fixing JJ’s collar, before cupping his cheek and smirking. “You look fucking hot.”

Humming, JJ wraps his arms around Pope's neck, tilting his head in a teasing manner. “You wanna rip it off and fuck me don’t you?”

Pope scoffs out a laugh. “Yes, but I have some self control.”

“Bullshit.”

A knock, loud yet gentle sounds at the door, and the boys quickly pull away, adjusting their attire. Fern appears behind the door with a bright smile on her lips, clapping her hands together at the sight of the two boys before her. “Don’t you two look handsome.”

“I have worn this so many times.” Says Pope, gazing down at the all black tux hanging from his body. 

“And yet you’re still my handsome boy.”

Pope rolls his eyes, but JJ can see the soft smile from the corner of his eye desperate to paint Pope’s lips. It was sweet, seeing Pope around his mother, held between them being a strong, healthy relationship that JJ wished he had with his own mother right now. 

"Where's dad?" Pope's voice cuts through JJ's thoughts.

“He’s already there, I just called to let him know that we were about to leave. Are you both ready?”

Giving a nod of affirmation, JJ follows the mother and son duo out of the house and into Fern’s car, not daring to say a word the entire drive there. He feared that if he did, he’d have worm vomit and say something idiotic as he usually did in high stress situations. 

Upon their arrival, a man who JJ assumed was Pope’s father, awaited their arrival outside the two large doors, wearing a finely pressed suit and a warm smile. “You must be JJ,” Pope’s father says, shaking JJ’s hand and patting his arm. 

“That’s me.” JJ replies, clearing his throat and suddenly feeling a heavy weight on his shoulders to be polite and hide the pogue within himself. 

“Very nice to meet you son, call me Heyward. Ah, my wife, looking as stunning as ever.” He shifts over to Fern with sparkling eyes, kissing her cheek and holding her hands, giving her a small spin.

JJ can’t help but feel a sharp pang in his heart at the sight, and decides against turning away and exposing his feelings of jealousy. Pope comes up beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist, and JJ jumps in a startled fashion, elbowing him sharply in the ribs. “Your parents have a good relationship.” Voices JJ before he can stop himself. 

“20 years of happy marriage.” Replies Pope, smiling and rubbing the place that JJ’s elbow jabbed him. “Are your parents close?”

Hiding the pain desperate to paint itself across his face, JJ pulls on a small smile, shrugging. “Not this close.” He lies. “But they're close.”

“C’mon, boys.” Heyward calls out, waving them over to the stairs. “The parties starting without us.”

The room is large, filled to the brim with judgy, expensive clothing wearing people sipping glasses of champagne and laughing. A chandelier hangs from the roof in the center of the room, brightening the dance floor with its yellow tinted light, and yet, even with this beauty surrounding them, all JJ could feel was people's eyes on him. 

Everywhere he looked, a person was looking directly at him behind their glasses, pointing and scrunching up their noses at the sight of him. JJ rubs his arm, feeling rather awkward and out of place. Why did he agree to come here again? 

“Here,” voices Pope, causing JJ to jump in fright at the hand placed on his waist. A glass was held in his hand, and JJ gave him a look. “Don’t worry, it’s beer.”

“Oh,” JJ mumbles, taking the glass with a small smile. “Thanks.”

Gazing around the room, there were no people who came from the same kind of background as JJ anywhere. All there were was angry, money hungry jackasses who cared more about image than their own family. It made JJ wonder how on earth Pope and his family had stayed away from that path and kept a healthy relationship between them.

“Pope,” Heyward interrupts JJ’s train of thought, patting his son on the shoulder. “There are some people I would like you to meet.”

“Oh, okay.” Pope looks over at JJ with a hint of hesitation in his steps, and JJ nods, pulling on a smile. “I’ll be right back.”

Rolling his eyes, JJ gives Pope a little push. “I’ll be fine.” He says. 

JJ watches as Pope disappears off through the large crowd, readjusting his blazer and running a hand over the top of his hair. Hoping to find Fern beside him, JJ is surprised to find the woman off in the crowd with a group of other people, sipping at her glass of wine and laughing. “Okay then.” Mumbles JJ, clearing his throat and fidgeting with his nails anxiously. 

He presses himself up against a wall to seem invisible, downing his beer and pulling at the button vest displayed tightly over his front, suddenly feeling as though he could not breathe. The only mainly kook party he had been to was the annual midsomers party held on figure eight every year. Generally he snuck in with John B to enjoy some free booze before running away from security with gleeful expressions on their faces, but right here, surrounded by kooks and only kooks was almost terrifying.

JJ has no clue why, kooks never used to intimidate him. But now that he had actually been invited along by Pope and his kook family, he felt the sudden need to be and act perfect. To be polite and not a smart ass. JJ hated it.

The music flowing through the air was loud enough to block JJ from hearing his own thoughts, a song he had not heard for many years playing. JJ’s heart leaps into the back of his throat, and his hands begin to shake to the point he has to place the empty glass down on the ground to keep himself from dropping it and causing a scene.

Scurrying off of the wall, JJ weaves his way through the crowd, grabbing hold of the door leading to the balcony and pushing. He stumbles onto the concrete floor, slamming the door behind himself and grasping tightly onto the railing, head bowed and gasping in breaths. “Breathe.” He tells himself angrily, fisting the under shirt on his skin, chest stuttering, heart pounding. “Fucking breathe, JJ.”

He notices the sound of the door opening, and quickly pulls himself together, holding his breath every few seconds in hopes of calming his breathing down. Appearing behind JJ, Pope places a careful hand onto his shoulder, gentle enough to not startle the other male, yet still a shock that zaps its way through JJ’s system. “You okay?” He asks, leaning himself up against the railing and looking out over the quiet streets. 

“Yeah,” says JJ, clearing his throat and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “This whole thing.. it.. It’s just not really my style.”

“Fair enough.” Downing the rest of his glass, Pope places it down on the railing and rests his arms against it, turning his head to face JJ with an amused expression. “What is your style then?”

Scoffing out a laugh, JJ bumps their shoulders together. “I don’t know, fun?”

Pope gawks. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”

“It really is.”

Stifling a laugh beneath his hand, Pope shakes his head. “I think I might know what will change your mind.”

JJ quirks a brow in interest. “And what’s that?”

“May I have this dance, my great sir?” Pope inquires, lending out his hand, his voice exaggerated and forcing another laugh from JJ’s lips.

“You may.” JJ replies, voice just as annoying, placing his hand in Pope’s and laughing as he is twirled underneath Pope’s arm.

Spinning JJ out, Pope pulls him right back in, their chests falling together, noses mere seconds apart, eyes flicking between lips. JJ looks down, refusing to meet Pope’s eye, and snuggles his face against the other males collar bone, somehow pulled at the idea of being held by Pope once more.

Pope seems surprised, but only momentarily, for it isn’t long before Pope is walking them in a circle around the balcony, his hands a nice weight on JJ’s waist. “I forgot how good of a dancer you were.” JJ mumbles, still hiding his face against Pope’s chest. 

“It’s a miracle you haven’t stepped on my toes.” Jokes Pope.

Smacking him playfully on the arm, JJ laughs loudly in mockery, rolling his eyes. “Oh ha ha, very funny.”

The door leading towards the balcony opens suddenly, and JJ is quick to pull away from Pope, readjusting his attire to how it once was. Heyward stood in the doorway, wearing an unreadable expression on his face, his eyebrows raised just the slightest. 

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” He asks, hesitant.

“Oh, no.” JJ is quick to say, pulling on a smile and elbowing a rather awkward Pope in the ribs. 

Heyward nods at that. “I just thought I would let you know that dessert is being served now.”

Clearing his throat, Pope smiles. “Thanks dad.” He manages, voice cracking just the slightest. “We’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay. Oh, and by the way.” Pausing in his stance, looking over his shoulder, Heyward keeps his hand on the open door. “If you want to dance, there is a dance floor. There’s no need to do it out here.” He says it so casually, and leaves without waiting for a response.

JJ can’t seem to speak, yet Pope, as awkward as he had been, had already recovered. “So I’m guessing your parents know that you’re bi?” Voices JJ, clearing his throat to rid of the shakiness held within it. 

“Yeah, don’t your parents know your gay?”

JJ pauses, chest stuttering. “Uh, yeah.” He lies, forcing a smile. “Course, I was just.. making sure.”

“Come on then, let's go.”

The night could not end fast enough.

Chapter Text

A small headache and arms unwrapping themselves from around his waist is what awakens JJ, the bright sun casting its rays down on his half asleep figure. “Pope?” Yawns JJ, flopping onto his back and stretching his arms up. “What are you doing?”

“Oh,” whispers Pope, laying himself back down and shrugging. “I.. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

JJ almost laughs at the awkwardness held within his tone, rolling onto his side and gasping quietly at just how close Pope’s face was to his own. “I don’t mind waking up with arms around me.” 

Opening his arms, JJ shuffles into them, resting his back against Pope’s front to not allow Pope the satisfaction of seeing the hot blush tinting his cheeks. Pope’s arms drop over JJ’s waist, curling around him loosely before halting, his bare fingertips tracing patterns across JJ’s bare skin. “What time did we get home?” JJ asks, stifling a yawn behind his hand. 

Thinking for a few moments, Pope yawns himself, blinking. “Ten, I think. You fell asleep in the car so I took the suit off you and just put on that shirt you were wearing earlier in the day.”

“So we didn’t..”

“God no.” Pope says. “You would have been too tired to properly consent, and anyway, I passed out right after I got into bed myself. Why?”

Shaking his head, JJ shrugs, pursing his lips. “No reason.”

The room falls silent for a while, the only sound being their easy breaths, and JJ finds himself almost falling back to sleep with Pope’s arms wrapped around him. Whenever he stayed at John B’s, he always ended up being spooned by the taller male, and as much as JJ enjoyed falling asleep that way, being here with Pope felt far better than any night with John B’s arms around him, and JJ hated the idea of what that might mean. 

At the sound of music blasting from downstairs, JJ feels Pope chuckle into the back of his neck. “I think my dad’s making his famous breakfast.” he whispers into JJ’s ear. JJ shivers.

“Famous?” Muses JJ, sitting up and facing Pope with raised eyebrows and a tilted head. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Pope jabs at JJ’s side, and falls back laughing as JJ screams, falling out of the bed with a jump and a yelp. “Are you okay?” Pope asks through his laughter, bending over the side of the bed and gazing down at the other male.

Blowing the hair from his face, JJ lunges forward and grabs Pope’s arm, tugging him down from the bed and onto JJ’s body, their laughter heightening as their heads almost whack together, tumbling into each other's arms. “This is why.. Why you don’t tickle me.” JJ gasps out, looking up into Pope’s eyes, grinning like an idiot.

“Noted.” Breathes Pope, flicking his eyes between JJ’s own and his lips as if asking a silent question.

JJ brings his head up slightly, his hands pulling Pope down by a hand on his shirt, and almost gasps at how soft Pope’s lips on his felt. Never in his life had JJ been kissed so sweetly, so slowly and intimate. It felt good, too good, but JJ refuses to let himself give in and pull away, snaking his arms around Pope’s neck to pull him all the more closer.

Chuckling into the kiss, Pope tucks his hand underneath JJ’s thigh and pushes, slipping between JJ’s legs and allowing him to wrap them around his waist. “I don’t-” JJ goes to say, breaking away with a gasp, only for Pope to cup his cheek and nod. “I know.”

He grabs JJ by the waist and pulls them both up, the both of them falling into fits of laughter as JJ struggles to pull himself up, squealing as Pope tucks his hands under JJ’s thighs and wraps them around his hips once more, pressing JJ’s back up against the wall. “This okay?”

JJ nods, scrambling to get Pope’s lips on his once more, and finds himself smiling as Pope breaks the distance and kisses him. JJ didn’t know the feelings flowing through his veins right now, for he had never been taken care of so dearly by guys. He was used to aggression, was used to being shoved onto his knees and slapped around, and then thrown out like nothing once the guy had had his fun. But with Pope, as stereotypical as it sounded, it felt different. There was no aggression, there was only need and desperation, only care and kindness. It made JJ’s head spin.

Pope asked his permission, Pope stopped when JJ asked him to, and Pope understood the importance of JJ’s pleasure, not just his own. Only had JJ felt such care was when he was sixteen and had lost his virginity. Since then, JJ had begun to lose hope. But Pope was gaining JJ’s hope back, and was helping him to see the other side of pleasure. 

“Boys!” Heyward’s voice calls out, the music turned down just the slightest. “Breakfast is ready!”

Snapping from his thoughts, JJ breaks away, quickly sliding out of Pope’s hold and adjusting the shirt hanging from his body. His heart was pounding, butterflies fluttering through his chest, and JJ groans inwardly. No. he tells himself. No.

“You okay?” Asks Pope as they walk down the stairs one by one, gazing at JJ over his shoulder.

Clearing his throat, JJ nods. “Yeah, yeah. Just hungry.”

A plate of blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon looks back at JJ as he takes his seat at the table, stomach grumbling. It smelled far too good to deny, and JJ digs in almost immediately, unable to slow himself down. “What are you boys planning for today?” Fern asks, handing Pope the maple syrup.

Pope shrugs, looking over at JJ questioningly. “I thought I’d get JJ to show me the beach, I haven’t been there yet. Does that sound good to you?”

Gulping down the lump in his throat, JJ nods. “Yeah, sure.”

******

Hesitant as he might be, JJ finds himself enjoying the day with Pope on the beach. Running back and forth over the sand, tackling one another to the ground, splashing each other with the water and challenging one another to a sand castle building. 

It’s hot, the kind of hot that made JJ want to sit himself down in front of a fan and fall asleep, refuse to go out and allow people to see him in such a state. Luckily, Pope manages to find them a seat in the shade, laying out a towel and handing JJ a bottle of water. 

"Tell me about yourself." Says Pope, leaning back on his hands and looking over the crashing waves.

Scoffing dryly, JJ rolls his eyes. "I thought we agreed on no strings?"

Pope furrows his brows, confused yet teasing. "Does that mean I can't ask you about yourself?"

"I guess you can." JJ replies, chewing at the inside of his cheek, rather hesitant. 

"Hey, don't do that." Pope tells him softly, dusting off the sand from his hand and cupping JJ's cheek, pressing his thumb against the placement in which JJ's teeth were biting into his gum. "You'll make yourself bleed."

JJ flushes darkly, and pulls away, quickly recovering himself with a laugh. "Okay, mum."

Pope only sighs.

Shuffling to lay back on the towel beneath them, JJ leans his head against his arm, using the other one to block the sun from his eyes. "What do you want to know?"

Pope seems surprised at the words, quickly laying himself down and crossing his arms over his chest. "How long have you been living here?"

"My whole life." Says JJ, letting out a deep breath. "I've never left."

"You haven't?"

JJ shakes his head.

"Wow." Mumbles Pope. "Do you have any siblings?"

JJ shakes his head again. "Nope. Just me."

This goes on for a while, hours JJ feels, but somehow he finds himself enjoying his time with Pope, opening up about certain topics and skipping over the ones he refuses to bring up with any one. Pope doesn't judge, not that JJ thought he would, with him being one of the only kooks JJ knows to not stick to stereotypes on the island and all, but JJ never allows himself to believe the good in people, not even his friends.   

And yet, laying next to Pope on the beach, the only sound being the crashing of the salty waves, JJ couldn't help but begin to let his heart open up, to let himself go and to just be. For he knows that no matter how much he opened up to Pope, it would never become anything more than just fuck buddies. Of course it wouldn’t.

“Was that your no strings guy?” John B coos teasingly as soon as JJ walks through the front door upon being dropped off, wiggling his brows.

Rolling his eyes, JJ elbows him. “Fuck off.”

“That’s a pretty expensive car.”

“He stole it.” JJ says, the lie coming far too easily for him, plopping himself down on the couch with a sigh.

He can feel John B’s eyes on him from the kitchen, just staring at him with a curiosity JJ had never been able to ignore since the day they met. “What?” He asks.

Walking back into the living room, John B shrugs, handing JJ a can of beer. “Nothing.”

Scoffing, JJ kicks at his friend, laughing as he slaps back. “Come on, don’t bullshit me, man.”

“I don’t know.” Says John B, taking his seat beside JJ. “You just seem smitten. Happy. I’ve never seen you like this, are you sure it’s no strings?”

“Of course it is.”

However, JJ wasn’t sure. 

Chapter Text

Something has changed. Deep within JJ’s bones, he can feel it, with no true idea to what extent the change has become.  Ever since he had kissed Pope the morning after the party, JJ couldn't get him out of his head. The soft touch of their lips together, the gentle, slow pace. Everything. Pope’s warm body against his, Pope’s instant understanding of JJ’s body language, the strong yet gentle hold Pope kept on JJ’s legs. It was driving JJ insane.

And when school comes round on Monday, JJ finds himself smiling, for school meant he could see Pope and seeing Pope meant he felt happy. JJ knows he shouldn't allow himself to feel this way, that he shouldn't continue seeing Pope now that he felt a change deep within himself. But he couldn't help it. Pope was like a drug, and JJ was high on him.

Stuffing books into his locker, JJ gazes over his shoulder to find Pope doing the same. Pope smiles, giving a small wave, and JJ rolls his eyes, unable to contain his own smile. He’s so awkward.

A shoulder bashing into his own snaps JJ from his thoughts. Blinking, he whirls around to see Topper walking past him with a smirk on his lips, muttering ‘faggot’ under his breath as he does so. 

“Oh fuck off.” JJ snaps back, flipping the other male off. 

Slamming his locker shut and shouldering his bag, JJ turns on his heel to head to his first period, only to stop short at the sight in front of him. Pope, talking and laughing with Topper, leant against his locker. What the fuck? JJ thinks to himself. 

The bell is ringing before JJ has the chance to go over there, students shoving past him as to not be late. JJ waits a few moments, locking eyes with Pope and glaring angrily, shaking his head, before walking off down the hallway, running a hand through his hair. God fucking dammit. 

This. This was one of the reasons as to why they had the ‘no pogue on kook macking’ rule. To save them all the embarrassment of falling for a kook who was friends with some asshole who fucked up their life in some way. JJ expected something like this would happen, but not with Pope. Surely he knew who Topper was. Surely he recognised Topper’s face as one of the guys he ripped off of JJ that morning at school. He must. He has to know.

Running a hand down his face, JJ tries to ignore Pope’s glances his way in the hall and in the cafeteria, tries his hardest to not give into temptation and cause a fight between him and Topper. Does Topper know about them? Was this Topper’s way of fucking with JJ’s head? Cause if it was, it was working.

JJ shouldn’t care this much. He and Pope were no strings, no feelings whatsoever. Pope could hang out with whoever he liked. And yet, here JJ was, walking at a fast pace out of the cafeteria to ditch Pope’s following figure behind him, heart pounding in his ears, hands shaking. “JJ!” Pope calls out, reaching forward and grabbing hold of the other males wrist.

JJ jumps, and lets out a surprised sound as Pope tugs him into the janitor's closet, slamming the door closed behind him. He pins JJ up against it, hands on either side of JJ’s head, and JJ can’t help but feel intimidated by the look in Pope’s eye. “What’s going on with you? Did you hate what we did on the weekend? If you do, just tell me and it won’t happen again.”

“It’s not about that bullshit party or what we did in the morning. It’s about you being friends with one of the guys who beat me up.” Snaps JJ, shoving Pope away from him. “So fuck you. You could be friends with any kooks but it just had to be him? He’s not a good person, Pope. He isn’t like you. He doesn’t have a heart.”

Raising his hands in surrender, Pope’s eyebrows fly up, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t realize who he was, and anyway, My parents are friends with his, I don’t really have a choice.”

Scoffing dryly, angrily, JJ shoves at Pope’s chest once more. “You always have a fucking choice. Maybe not me, but you do. So if you want to keep fucking me, make the right choice.”

JJ shoulders his bag and exits the closet with one last irritated glance over his shoulder, storming off to his last period. Pope saw the world through a pink lens. All he saw was the good, all he saw was the rules and abide by them. He didn’t understand how things worked here, and JJ sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. Whatever feelings he was beginning to have vanished. All Pope was to him was a kook. Nothing more, nothing less.

******

Something was different between JJ and him. Pope could feel it, and he knew JJ could too. All their time together, JJ left in a hurry without another word. But lately, he’s begun to stay. He’s begun to trust in Pope, he’s begun to allow himself to be cared for afterwards, and has allowed himself to not focus on just sex. 

Kissing JJ that morning, so soft, so full of care, Pope knew deep down that it would screw everything up. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Something burned deep inside of him at the thought of letting JJ go that morning, of breaking away and stopping himself from kissing JJ’s lips. 

JJ could feel it too, Pope was sure about it. Yes, he is prone to lashing out, and Pope’s okay with that, that’s who JJ was, but JJ has never lashed out at him with the tone of voice he used that afternoon. It held a deep shake within it, cracking at the edges slightly, and God did it make Pope’s heart hurt at seeing how much it damaged JJ to know that he talked with Topper.

If Pope had not been so blind, he would not have allowed himself to become friends with someone like Topper, even if it meant fucking things up for his parents. He couldn’t do that to JJ. Never. 

All night, does Pope toss and turn, desperate to ease his mind from the pictures of JJ’s face in the closet. How angry he was, how hurt he was that Pope would do such a thing. And when morning comes, Pope knows what he has to do. 

Storming through the doors of the school, Pope rounds the corner to the wall of lockers he knew Topper would be standing at, sucking in a deep breath and clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “You’re seriously shallow enough to fight someone who you know has never had anything handed to him unlike your sorry ass?” Exclaims Pope, dropping his bag from his shoulder and slamming Topper up against the lockers.  

Topper seems shocked, scared even, but is able to mask it quickly with a laugh and a smirk on his lips. “You didn’t recognise me?” Inquires Topper, tilting his head in a way he always did to wind people up. “That faggot your standing up for is a deadbeat pogue whose dad abuses him because he knows that’s what JJ deserves. JJ doesn’t deserve shit!”

Pope can’t seem to hold himself back any longer. Rearing his arm back, he slams his fist into Topper’s face, standing back and watching as he slides down to the floor with a yell of pain, clutching his nose. “Don’t you dare talk about JJ like that, you hear me?” Pope’s voice echoes loudly, grasping every student in earshots attention. “And if I ever see you attacking him again, I won’t be so kind. Got that?”

With one last punch, Topper cries out, blood pouring down his nose and over his chin, tears in the corners of his eyes. A hand grabs Pope’s arm suddenly, pulling him around and giving him a shove at the chest. “What the fuck was that?” Yells JJ, anger held within his eyes.

Pope barely moves from his place, looking down at JJ with a small smile, panting. “I made my choice. Protecting you from jackasses like him.”

A blush paints itself across JJ’s cheeks, a dark colour that does numbers on Pope’s already pounding heart, before JJ is shaking his head and rolling his eyes, muttering a ‘whatever’ under his breath as he turns to walk away, giving Pope a short glance over the shoulder before disappearing. Pope just smiles, shaking out his fist. 

Pope doesn’t hear anything from JJ until later in the day. He was seated in the library, flipping through a book, when a text erupts from his phone. He pulls it from his pocket and smiles at the contact name.

Thank you. I should’ve said it earlier.

Of course.

Pope replies.

And what you did

It was really fucking hot. I didn't know you had it in you.

Pope’s cheeks are burning all of a sudden, his eyes nearly bulging from his skull. So, JJ wasn’t mad? Pope doesn’t know what to say, his throat suddenly dry and leg bouncing under the table.

I’ve got work after school, wanna pick me up? I’ve got an idea.

Yeah, sure. 

Pope manages to type out, swallowing dryly. 

You’ve got a pool, right?

Yes

Sweet.

What did JJ have in mind with the pool? Pope wonders on his way home, all the way through his grounding by his parents and his drive to JJ’s work. Did he just want to have a swim? Or was Pope being naive to think that? He hadn’t a clue. All he knew was that whatever JJ wanted to do, Pope was down for it.

When the clock strikes eight, JJ can be seen walking out of the restaurant with a yawn and a stretch, pulling on a dorky grin as soon as he takes sight of Pope. “Hey,” he greets, clambering inside of the car and buckling his seatbelt.

“Hey,” says Pope, turning the key and backing out of his park. “How was work?”

JJ groans. “A fucking drag.” 

Pope laughs. “So, what did you want to do with the pool?”

JJ pauses, turning to face Pope with an awestruck expression. “You are a lot more innocent than I thought.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Pope doesn’t get a response, no matter how many times he begs JJ for one, poking his sides and only making JJ laugh, squirming in his seat. And when they arrive at Pope’s home, JJ is quick to exit the car and sneak through the gate towards the backyard, an anxious Pope following after him. “C’mon,” Says JJ, looking over his shoulder as he begins to discard his clothes, pulling them off at a slow pace that has Pope’s heart racing and his eyes widening. “Let’s go for a swim.”

Tucking his fingers under the waistband of his underwear, JJ wiggles them off, his plump ass jiggling teasingly, before throwing them to the floor and stepping forward, splashing into the water. Pope can’t seem to move, his mouth open in pure and utter shock, but he can’t deny what the show had done to him. “You coming?” JJ voices once he resurfaces, combing his hair back from his face and smirking, resting his arms up on the edge of the pool. 

Not even uttering a word, Pope rips his clothes from his body, almost stumbling as he tries to step out of his pants, and jumps into the pool. JJ is laughing when he resurfaces, swimming forward and wrapping his arms around Pope’s shoulders, his legs hooking around his waist. Pope is quick to close the gap between them, tongue insistent inside of JJ’s mouth, and walks him over to the edge, crashing JJ’s back into the wall.

JJ’s back arches, a moan slipping from his mouth, and he quickly breaks away, dropping his head back. His chest was moving up and down rapidly, heart pounding, and his mouth was open, gasping in breaths. Pope presses his lips to JJ’s neck, licking and sucking marks into the sun-kissed skin, rolling their hips together and falling into the rhythm of JJ’s moans with his own. 

“You ever fucked someone in a pool?” Asks JJ, panting and moaning at Pope’s hands pinching at his nipples, teeth sinking into his neck. 

“No,” Pope’s voice rumbles against his skin, the tone something JJ had never heard before and can’t help but let out a whimper, his dick chubbing up all the more.

Sucking in a deep breath, JJ smirks. “Want me to be your first?”

Pulling away from JJ’s throat , the look in Pope’s eye is all that needs to be said before Pope is forcing JJ’s legs apart further and is holding him up just enough to be able to slide inside. JJ gasps, throwing his head back as Pope thrusts inside of him, slow and deep, just hitting his prostate at a leisurely pace, and JJ claws at his back, hooking his legs back around Pope’s waist.

No matter how much he enjoyed the sounds JJ was making, so desperate and high pitched, Pope could not have his parents waking up and hearing them. They’d ground his ass for another two weeks if they did. “Can I cover your mouth?” Pope questions, slowing his thrusts further to the point JJ was whining for him to hurry up, nodding.

“Yes, yes.” Gasps JJ, grinding his hips down. “Just fuck me.”

Pope cups his hand over JJ’s mouth, pulling all the way back before firing right back in, a muffled scream echoing from JJ’s lips. Pope doesn’t slow down, hooking his free hand tightly around JJ’s waist, digging into the skin, and uses it as leverage to fuck into JJ faster, biting his own lip to silence himself.

“Fuck,” he hears JJ sob against his hand, digging his nails into Pope’s shoulder blades and dragging, breaking the skin. 

Back and forth, back and forth does Pope fuck into JJ, forcing him down on his cock and drilling in deep, eyes rolling back at the soft sobs being made into his hand, JJ’s teeth biting into his palm. His eyes were squeezed shut, chest stuttering, and god did it do a number on Pope’s ego.

“Please,” begs JJ, muffled, yet still high in pitch. “Please.”

“Please what?” Pope grits out, removing his hand from JJ’s mouth and sliding two fingers across his tongue in the way he knows JJ likes, grinning as JJ moans softly. 

“Kiss me, fucking kiss me.”

Dipping his fingers down the back of JJ’s throat, JJ gags, coughing slightly. Pope pulls them out slowly and replaces them with his tongue, slamming JJ further up against the wall. JJ moans his approval, digging his heels into Pope’s spine, the water splashing against their skin and soaking them fully. 

Red and purple bruises colour JJ’s flushed skin, irritated, and he can feel some forming in the shape of Pope’s fingertips digging into his hips. Holding Pope tighter, closer, JJ moans into his mouth, heart pounding and chest stuttering, and almost begins to cry at the amount of pleasure flowing through his veins.

There had been a few instances where JJ had let a guy fuck him in a pool, but never like this. It would always be clumsy, a struggle for the other guy to hold JJ up even with the water aiding in helping him become lighter. It was never pleasurable for JJ, no matter what they did, he just never felt good enough to cry. And yet with Pope, almost every time they did it did JJ cry from the pure ecstasy of it, no matter where they did it, Pope brought something out of JJ he never knew was even there. 

“You sure you’ve never done this in a pool before?” JJ breathes between their lips, sobbing as Pope presses further kisses over his throat, swirling his tongue over the marks and only making them all the more sensitive.

Pope chuckles. “I’m sure.” He says. “Why?”

JJ can’t bring himself to respond, can’t bring himself to admit what he was feeling, and slams their lips together once more, eyes falling shut. The sound of a window opening goes unheard by the two, mere background noise, feverish hands grabbing and pulling at skin, Pope’s thrusts slowing in tempo slightly to fuck JJ all the more deeper, when a loud, familiar voice shouts, “Whose in my pool!”

The boys still with a gasp, quickly pulling apart at the sudden light of a torch flying over the pool. Pope raises his hands in surrender, his eyes wide as JJ tries to hold back his laughter, a hand clamped over his mouth. “It’s me, dad!” Says Pope frantically. “It’s Pope.”

“Whose with you?” Heyward calls out.

Stepping out from behind Pope, biting his lip to hide his grin, JJ raises his hands. “It’s JJ, sir.”

Letting out a deep set sigh, Heyward drags a hand down his face. “Okay, since it’s you JJ and I like you, I’m gonna let this slide. But Pope, if you pull this again you’re grounded for another week you little bastard.” The window slams shut, and JJ’s mouth drops open, letting out a gasp and a laugh. 

“Oh my-” he goes to say, only to cut himself off. 

Pope lets out a loud, shoulder shaking laugh, throwing his head back, eyes squeezed shut. JJ can’t help but watch in awe, chest stuttering at the sight of Pope, so happy and so carefree, and JJ wishes he could keep this moment on repeat in his mind forever. Falling into his own fits of laughter, JJ throws himself at Pope, pulling him so that they are back against the wall. “Wanna keep going?” breathes JJ, huffing in breaths, his cheeks heating up at just how close Pope was to him. 

A bright smile paints Pope’s lips, and he nods, ducking his head down to kiss JJ’s lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Chapter Text

Wanna hangout?

JJ finds himself typing on Saturday morning. The school had been forced to close for a week due to some water issues, and JJ was desperate to use this week to have some fun. 

I can’t sorry. I was meant to tell you yesterday during our tutoring after school, I’ve gone out of town. 

Oh.

JJ can’t believe the feeling that flows through his chest upon reading the words.

Okay.

“What are you doing?” John B shouts suddenly, leaping himself onto the bed right beside JJ.

Shouting, JJ slams his phone against his chest, smacking John B in an annoyed manner. “Don’t do that.” 

Laughing, John B sits up, placing his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry.” He says, combing a hand through his hair. “Kie, Cleo and I are going surfing, wanna come?”

JJ shakes his head, slowly pulling himself up into a seated position with a groggy sigh, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “No thanks.” Mumbles JJ, stifling a yawn behind his hand. “I think I might just hangout here, I’m not feeling the best.”

“Suit yourself.” Sliding off the bed, John B stuffs his feet into his sandals, stretching his arms up. “We probably won’t be back till after five. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me, man.” JJ says, waving him off. “Go have fun.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure to bring you back some food.”

At the sound of the front door closing, JJ flops back against the bed, dragging his hands down his face. Why did Pope have to be out of town? He could have chosen any other time, and yet it had to be now. The time when JJ needed him most. 

JJ knows he shouldn’t be thinking like this, for it was selfish and rude, but he couldn’t help it. Pope was easily the only person who was able to distract him when it came to his non stop screaming mind. Even if Pope didn’t know what it was about, he always managed to help JJ take his mind off of it. Going surfing would only give him more time to think and JJ really did not need that. 

All week, he had been thinking about his mum. The letter, the number typed into his contacts, just waiting for him to sum up the courage and call her. What would he even say? What do you say to a parent that you haven’t spoken to for ten years after they left you alone with an abusive parent?

JJ shakes his head, dragging a hand down his face. All he had to do was dial the number. It wasn’t that hard. But what if she answers and JJ can’t speak? What if she doesn’t answer, what was he supposed to do then?

Fuck it. JJ thinks to himself, grabbing hold of his phone once more and dialing the number. What's the worst that could happen?

“Hello?” That familiar, sweet, soft voice says through the line, causing an unholy amount of emotion to flow through JJ’s body.

Choking back a sob, JJ drags a hand down his face, breathing in deeply. “Hi.. Hi mum..” Whispers JJ, his voice shaking, unable to stop pacing the home. 

The line goes silent for a few moments, before stammering can be heard. “JJ, is.. Is that you?” Drew questions brokenly, muffled slightly as if she had a hand cupped over her mouth.

JJ smiles through his tears, heart pounding against his ribcage. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh my-” Painful sobs can be heard from the other line, the sound only making JJ try harder to not cry himself, his heart aching. She sounded so relieved, as though she had half expected to never hear from him, or had expected it to be the police regarding JJ’s death. “JJ.. I.. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” She cries, breaths catching. “I.. I should have never listened to him.. I should have come back, I should have come and gotten you instead of leaving you to deal with him on your own. Every day I was so scared that I would get a call from the police saying..”

“It’s okay.” JJ finds himself saying, no matter how deeply he wanted to scream at her for leaving. It wasn’t her fault. “It’s okay. I know you did what you had to do.”

“But.. I.. I left you to die.” Drew whispers. “How can you forgive me?”

Scrubbing his hands over his eyes to force the tears away, JJ smiles brokenly, sniffling. “You’re my mum. All these years, I have spent it being angry at you. For leaving me with him. But now I know you had no control over what happened. You had no control of it, mum.. He would have killed you if you didn’t go. He.. he would have killed us both. You did what you had to do to protect us.”

“I-” Cutting herself off, Drew takes a few moments to breathe. “I never thought you would call.”

“I didn’t either.” Shrugs JJ, even if he knew she couldn’t see him. He digs his teeth into his lower lip. “I wasn’t going to, but.. I felt like I had to.”

A silence displays itself between the pair for a few moments, just breathing deeply, basking in the comfort that flows through their hearts at the pure thought of finally being able to talk after ten whole years. Drew says something about an address, and JJ asks her to repeat it, shaking hands writing it out on a piece of scrap paper. “Can.. Can I come visit you?” Whispers JJ, hesitant.

“Yes.” Says Drew. “Yes, please. I have to get going my love, but text me what day works for you and I will make sure to be home.”

Nodding, JJ smiles small. “Okay. I.. I love you, ma.”

“I love you too, baby. Thank you for calling me.”

The line ends, JJ’s phone slipping from his grip onto the floor, a crack sounding, not enough to break it, but enough for JJ to know the screen was damaged. He crashes his back against the wall, sliding down to the floor and hugging his knees to his chest, bursting into sobs. After all these years, after all these years of anger and hatred, JJ was able to talk to her. Was able to hear her voice, was able to hear her side of the story, not just through words written on a letter. After ten years, she was back. 

******

“Hey,” Pope’s voice echoes through JJ’s ears, soft and sweet, with a gutheral deepness to it that makes JJ’s knees buckle. “I’m back in town.”

Eyes widening, JJ tries to stop himself from smiling. “When did you get back?” He asks, standing from the couch and pacing the floor, chewing anxiously at his thumb. He hadn’t expected Pope to get back so soon, but in saying that, JJ was relieved he had. 

“Last night.”

“Are you doing anything today?” Questions JJ, running a hand through his hair.

“Nope.” Replies Pope. “How come?”

JJ shrugs. “Can you come get me? There’s.. There’s something I need to do today.”

“Sure.”

In a matter of minutes, Pope’s car was pulled into the gravel driveway, honking the horn once, then twice. Scurrying out of the home, JJ flicks the backs of his shoes over his heels, pulling open the passenger side door and flopping into his seat. Nerves upon nerves flow through the entirety of his body, tingling and zapping uncomfortably. He could have easily gone by himself, could have taken his bike or borrowed the twinkie, but JJ got the feeling that it would be better to have someone there with him in case he can’t do it. John B would have been a good option, if he did not have his own mother leave when he was much younger than when JJ’s mother left. He couldn’t put this on John B, no matter how much he tried to mask it, JJ knew it would hurt John B, even if he was happy for his friend, it would hurt. 

Cutting through JJ’s racing thoughts, fumbling hands freezing on the seatbelt, Pope’s lips are on his own, so soft, yet so rough and teasing. He cups a hand to JJ’s cheek, thumbing over the skin, and JJ allows himself to ease into the kiss for a few moments, eyes fluttering shut, before pulling back, chewing at his lower lip. “As much as I enjoy that, that’s not why I called you.” JJ finds himself admitting, heart suddenly racing.

“Oh.” Mumbles Pope, scratching the back of his head and smiling awkwardly, his cheeks heating up. “What’s up?” Pope recovers, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat, turning the key into the ignition. 

“I need you to take me somewhere.” Is all that JJ says before Pope is pulling onto the road, nodding along. 

“Can I know why?”

JJ sighs. “Can I tell you soon? I’m trying to.. Just.. accept it myself.”

Smiling, Pope nods. “Of course.”

A comfortable silence wafts between the pair, the only sound being the tires hitting the gravel road beneath them. JJ leans his head against the window, watching the trees whiz past. He could not deny the anxiety he felt, having to admit to Pope what he had promised himself he would never allow Pope to know. JJ hated the sympathetic look he got from people who know about his family life, who know about the abuse and the neglect. He didn’t want Pope to look at him like that. 

A loud, painful growl echoes through the air, a hot blush coming to rest on JJ’s cheeks as he clutches his stomach. Pope’s eyes are on him in a flash, wide and eyebrows raised. “Have you eaten anything today?” Asks Pope.

JJ smiles sheepishly. “No?”

Pope tuts, shaking his head. “Before we go to wherever it is that we are going, I’m getting you something to eat.”

They stop at a local bakery JJ used to go to as a kid with John B, grabbing a random assortment of food to fill JJ up until later in the day. Pope gets him to sit on a park bench while he eats, every so often stealing a piece of food here and there, and stays completely silent. Somehow, the silence was comforting.

“I’ll tell you one thing.” Whispers JJ once they are back on the road, turning to look out the window to not have to watch Pope’s face fall in sadness. “My mum.. She left when I was young. I haven’t heard from her in almost ten years.” Pausing, JJ sucks in a deep breath, trying to ignore the butterflies Pope’s hand resting on his thigh was causing, and places his hand overtop, smiling small as Pope interlocks their fingers in comfort.

“I’m sorry.” Pope says, swiping his thumb over JJ’s knuckles. “Did you find her?”

JJ shakes his head, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “She found me. A few weeks ago. She wrote me a letter, and explained how my dad made her leave. I called her the other day.”

“Did she answer?”

“Yeah.” Says JJ, clearing his throat to rid of the lump held within. “I’m meeting her today.”

“I don’t mean this in a rude way, I’m glad I can be here with you, but.. Why did you ask me? Why not one of your friends?” Pope questions after a few moments, flicking his gaze over to JJ briefly.

Shrugging, JJ thinks it over. “I thought it would be easier, having you here rather than one of my close friends.”

“Are we friends now?”

JJ can’t help but chuckle. “I guess we are now, yeah.”

That makes Pope smile, and JJ mirrors the expression, swallowing thickly. Friends. The word echoes around JJ’s mind, sending shivers down his spine and his skin to cover itself in goosebumps. “I’m gonna get some sleep.” Mumbles JJ, shuffling to lay against the window. 

“Okay.” Pope says, patting JJ’s thigh. He goes to remove his hand from it’s placement, only for JJ to grab it and hold on tight, looking at Pope with a certain glint in his eye that has Pope smiling small and kissing JJ’s knuckles. “I’m still here. Just close your eyes.”

Sucking in a deep breath, JJ does as he is told, leaning his head back against the window and fluttering his eyes closed, exhaling slowly, before everything flutters away and he allows sleep to take him. Pope flicks his eyes over to JJ at the feeling of his hand easing it’s hold on Pope’s own, and he can’t help but smile at the expression of ease painting JJ’s face. Never in their entire time of knowing each other, has Pope seen JJ so at ease, so calm. It made Pope’s heart hurt at knowing to some extent the horror JJ has entailed through his life. 

What Topper had said to him, about JJ’s father abusing him, Pope couldn’t get himself to believe it. For who would hurt their own family? Who would hurt someone as big hearted as JJ? And to think about all those times Pope picked JJ up from the hospital, now knowing what he does, it made Pope’s blood run cold. He was stupid, so fucking stupid for believing JJ anytime he said he had caused the accident, when in reality, it was his shithead of a dad throwing him around. And to top it all off, JJ’s mum had left because of his father. No kid deserves to be parentless, especially JJ. All Pope wanted was for JJ to finally be happy, and he wished JJ would allow him to make some of that happiness happen. 

At the sound of his phone saying ‘you have reached your destination’, Pope puts the car in park and turns over to JJ, cupping a hand to his cheek. He swipes his thumb over the soft skin, whispering ever so quietly, “JJ, wake up.”

JJ lets out a groan, blinking his eyes open and scrunching up his nose at the sunlight hitting his eyes. “Are we..” he trails off, sitting up. 

Pope nods. “Yeah.”

Heart sinking, JJ lets out a deep breath. “Okay..”

Chapter Text

Raising a fearful, shaking hand, JJ pounds it lightly against the door, and takes a trembling step back as it opens, clutching tightly onto Pope’s hand. He almost turns around, almost mumbles ‘I can’t do this’, almost runs for it. But, he stops himself with one glance over at those familiar blue eyes softening at the sight of him. JJ sucks in a shuddering breath, chest stuttering, and can’t help but burst into tears. “JJ,” whispers Drew, cupping a hand over her mouth, her own eyes filling with tears. “It’s really you.”

Smiling brokenly, JJ chuckles. “It’s me.”

Drew opens up her arms, and JJ falls into them with a heavy sob, clutching on so tight, he feared that if he let her go, she would disappear and he would never see her again. Drew wraps her arms around her son with so much love and pain, their sobs intermingle and all that can be heard is the sound of their hearts coming back together after being broken for so many years.

For ten years, JJ has waited for this moment. Has imagined the day in which he found his mother, has imagined what would happen, how it would go, but the real thing exceeded his expectations. It had been so long, too long since he had been embraced like this. Since he had had the motherly embrace he has needed since the day she left. 

“I’m so sorry,” sobs Drew, kissing JJ’s temple over and over again, before pulling away and pressing kiss after kiss over his face until he is giggling and no longer crying. “I never should have left you. I never should have listened.”

Shaking his head, JJ kisses his mother’s cheek, smiling. “It’s okay.” He says, and he means it. “I understand why, and it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Sucking in a shaky breath, Drew cups JJ’s cheeks, wiping away the last few tears falling down his cheeks. “You are too good for this world, baby. What did I deserve to have my child come out so beautiful, so kind hearted, even after what I did?”

“I got it from you.” Whispers JJ. 

Pressing one last kiss to his forehead, Drew turns to look at Pope who was standing awkwardly off to the side, watching the entire embrace happen with watery eyes and a small smile. “And who might this be?” Teases Drew, wrapping her arm around JJ. 

“I’m Pope, a friend of JJ’s.” Pope replies, extending his hand for Drew to shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Drew shakes his hand, before pulling him into a hug and squeezing. Pope hugs her back, confused, but allows the embrace to happen. “I’m surprised John B or Kiara aren’t here.”

Clearing his throat, JJ rubs his arm. “They don’t know that we found each other.”

Drew nods. “Oh.”

“I want to tell them.” JJ assures, taking hold of her hand. “But with John B and his own mum leaving, I didn’t want to upset him.”

“Of course.” Drew says, smiling. “It’s okay. Let's head inside, there’s so much we need to catch up on.”

Nodding, JJ turns and lends his hand out for Pope to take, smiling when Pope does so and follows him inside, squeezing his hand gently. Drew leads them into the living room, getting them to take a seat before disappearing off into the kitchen to grab them all a drink. “How are you feeling?” Pope asks JJ quietly, flicking his eyes around the room.

“Good.” JJ whispers back, smiling. “Really good.”

Pope smiles himself. “I’m glad.”

A sudden, unfamiliar pad of footsteps echoes throughout the air, before JJ is gasping and dropping to the floor with his arms out wide. The golden retriever bounds into his arms with a bark, licking and slobbering all over his face and sending JJ into fits of giggles. “You have a dog?” JJ manages to gasp out, falling onto his back and squealing as the dog pounces on top of him, barking. 

Drew laughs from her place in the doorway. “Yeah, his names Cooper. Sweet, isn’t he?”

“Uh yeah.”

Chuckling, Pope shakes his head. “You’re in heaven.”

JJ doesn’t even respond, too focused on the dog in his lap cuddling against him. All his life JJ had wanted a dog, and now that he can have one in his life through his mum was more than a little amazing. 

Walking across the room, Drew sets their drinks down and takes a seat beside Pope on the couch. “Thank you,” Drew says suddenly, placing her hand over Pope’s that was resting on the soft material of the couch. He jumps, surprised, and looks to her in confusion, tilting his head. “Thank you for taking care of my boy.”

Smiling small, Pope squeezes her hand. “JJ never told me anything about his life. Never told me about his father and the abuse, never told me about you.” He replies, shifting his head to be able to catch sight of JJ sitting on the floor, laughing and cuddling the dog. A smile paints his lips. "I knew that's what he wanted, but he's really had a bad life. I feel like I should have known about the abuse, at least, I've taken him and picked him up from the hospital so many times and I could never ask because then JJ would get upset and I hate seeing him like that."

"He has, hasn't he?" Clearing her throat, Drew sighs. "I can't stop myself from feeling guilty about it.”

Pope shakes his head. "It isn't your fault. JJ knows that. He's.. he's made the best of a bad deal."

Drew smiles sadly. "He really has."

Turning from his place on the floor, JJ furrows his brows at the look on the pair's faces, tilting his head in confusion. "What?”

"Nothing." They say. 

Two hours later, JJ finds himself standing outside of his mothers home with a heavy heart, not ready to go and leave her. She holds him close, kissing his temple and rocking them side to side. JJ holds on tight, smiling into her shoulder. "I like him." Drew whispers. "Pope's a good one."

"He is." Mumbles JJ, looking over his shoulder at the other male leaning against his car. "He puts up with a lot. I don't know why he's stayed."

"He loves you, silly. That's why."

Blushing, JJ shakes his head. "We're just friends."

Drew gives him a look. "I don't believe that for a second, and I don't think you do either. Give it a chance. You might be surprised."

"By what?"

"How it feels to be loved by someone." Says Drew, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, baby. Call me soon?"

JJ nods, smiling. "I love you too. Bye, ma."

"Bye baby."

With much reluctance, JJ turns on his heel and walks down the stairs, looking over his shoulder as his mother disappears back inside of the small home. JJ climbs inside of the car with a deep set sigh, buckling his seatbelt and resting his head back. "Thank you." JJ whispers after a while, looking at Pope with a small smile. 

"Of course." Says Pope. "I'm here whenever you need me. Do you want me to take you back to your friends, or do you wanna come back to mine?”

“Yours.”

JJ enters the extravagant home with a deep set sigh, kicking off his shoes and stretching his arms up. Pope isn’t too far behind him, copying his movements in taking off his shoes and closing the door behind them. 

Reaching his hand back, JJ looks at Pope with a small smile, biting the inside of his cheek as Pope interlocks their fingers, following JJ up the stairs and into his bedroom. “What do you want to do-”

Cutting Pope off, JJ throws his arms around him, slotting their lips together eagerly. Pope is quick to respond, walking them over to his bed and lifting JJ gently. He lays him out on his back, and slides between his thighs, pressing their lips back together, softer this time.

JJ sighs, wrapping his arms around Pope’s shoulders and just eases into the careful motions. Every kiss of Pope’s lips against his hot skin is so gentle, so charismatic, JJ feels as though he can’t breathe. He tries to fasten things, tries to get into a familiar tempo of ripping clothing off, but Pope stops him with a simple kiss to the lips, and JJ listens. 

With slow hands, Pope takes hold of JJ’s shirt and pulls it over his head, before moving onto his own and throwing them to the floor. He slips JJ’s pants off, then his boxers, and pours lube over his fingers, circling them around JJ’s hole. JJ gasps, arching under the touch. “Just relax,” Pope breathes against his skin, kissing and sucking marks along his throat and collarbones. “Let me do this for you.”

“Okay,” shudders JJ, eyes rolling back as one of Pope’s long fingers eases home inside of JJ, stilling for a few moments before curling and making JJ gasp for air. “Okay.”

It was rare, even after all of this time, for JJ to allow Pope to work him open. He was still growing used to the feeling of being treated so gently, of being treated so kindly and with care. But laying there, holding onto Pope so tightly, all fear vanishes and replaces itself with trust. JJ’s muscles ease, the tension dissipating from his body until all that could be felt within his bones was love.

Love. That damn emotion JJ told himself he would never feel for Pope, but also that damn emotion that made JJ feel so fucking joyful, so free. Never in his life has someone made JJ feel this way but Pope. Love. The intoxicating, heart racing and hand shaking emotion JJ could no longer deny when he would think of the awkward, taller and stronger male. JJ loved Pope, JJ loved how Pope touched his soul, how Pope touched his heart like it was the most important, delicate thing in the world. And with each passing day, JJ was falling harder and harder than ever before.

But, Pope could never know. Pope could never know just how much JJ loved him.

It’s soft, slow, JJ’s arms clutching on tightly to Pope’s shoulders. His face was nestled into Pope’s neck, his legs locked on either side of Pope’s hips, back arching with each and every thrust. It was something JJ has never felt before, was something JJ never imagined he would be able to experience. 

So much warmth surrounds their interlocked bodies, just rolling together in soft, sweet motions that have JJ crying, tears rolling down his cheeks and painting Pope’s skin. “Are you okay?” Whispers Pope, pulling back just enough for their noses to brush, his eyes wide. He cups a hand to JJ’s cheek, thumbing away the tears, and JJ crumbles.

“Yeah,” he breathes, bringing his own hands to Pope’s face. “Kiss me?”

Pope leans down with a smile, pressing their lips together delicately, tingling JJ’s skin and forcing his heart to pound erratically against his ribcage. JJ’s eyes flutter closed, lips just moving against Pope’s, breathing heavily with each thrust made inside of him. Pleasure flowed from his every pore, a feeling JJ wanted to keep feeling for as long as possible. “Hold me,” says JJ, breaking away from Pope’s lips and leaning their foreheads together. “Hold me, please.”

Pope does not question him. Just leans down and wraps his arms around JJ so warmly, so lovingly, JJ almost bursts into further tears. He holds JJ through it, holds JJ through every thrust, through every moan and whimper, and keeps holding him even after they are finished, panting in sync and clinging to one another's bodies. 

When JJ is ready, Pope rolls onto his back and is shocked when the other male cuddles into his chest, desperate to feel Pope’s skin against his own for a little while longer.

JJ tries to fall asleep on Pope, tries to let his mind ease and his heart stop pounding, but he can’t at the simple thought of what he had just allowed to happen. He may be overthinking things as usual, but Pope had just made love to JJ. He made love with the one guy he was not supposed to fall for. 

“Hey Pope?” JJ whispers after a while, tracing patterns across Pope’s bare chest.

“Yeah?” Pope whispers back. 

“I.. I can’t sleep.”

Bringing his hand up and running his fingers through JJ’s hair, Pope smiles softly. “Me neither. Do you want to just ask each other questions?”

JJ shrugs. “Sure.”

“Okay.” Thinking for a few moments, Pope stills his hand in JJ’s hair. “If you feel comfortable answering, who was your first time?”

“My friend John B.”

Even in the darkness, JJ could see the way Pope’s eyes widened, pausing the movements of his nails gently scratching JJ’s scalp before continuing on. “Oh.. Wow, really?”

JJ smiles small, shrugging. “Yeah.” Says JJ. “I liked him a lot when I was younger, and after we did it, I felt.. Too good to be true, you know? Because I couldn’t figure out why he liked me back.”

“What happened?”

“We decided not to get together.” JJ replies, shifting to lay further against Pope’s chest. “And I’m glad we did. It would have ruined the whole dimension of our friendship.”

Pope smiles. “I wish my first time was as sweet as yours.”

JJ furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

“You got to do it with someone you love. I got myself drunk to not be myself and fuck everything up and can barely remember it.” Voices Pope, sighing. “I wish it could have meant something.”

JJ falls silent. He really thought that would have been him for his first time if he hadn’t kissed John B that night. It probably would be, if he went back in time and stopped himself. And for some reason, JJ wished his first time had been Pope’s and not his own. Sweet, kind Pope deserved to have done it with someone he loves, not in a drunken state. 

“Goodnight.” Pope whispers suddenly, cutting through JJ’s thoughts with a yawn.

Biting his lower lip, JJ sighs. “Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

Love. A feeling of constant and deathly strong affection for someone. The one fucking emotion JJ swore he would never feel for another human being that was not platonic. But of course, JJ had to go and fuck himself over and allow Pope to make love to him the other night. 

What did it mean? Did it mean Pope was just being gentle after the day JJ had had, or did it mean that Pope felt the same way that JJ did? Either way, JJ could not get it out of his head. 

School was excruciating. From the thoughts of telling John B about his mum, to the thoughts of what he and Pope did, he could barely focus enough to pass the class. Pope won’t stop looking at him with that stupid, adorable smile he saved just for JJ. Won’t stop trying to make eye contact and won’t stop trying to start up conversations. At this point, Pope was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

Footsteps approach JJ suddenly, and he almost gives a groan at the sight. Not now, why now?

“What’s up?” Questions Pope, leaning himself rather awkwardly against the lockers beside JJ’s. “You’ve been ignoring me again. Have I done something?”

JJ sighs, slamming his locker shut and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “How come you were so soft the other night?” He shoots back, crossing his arms. “It’s not like us.”

Pope is quick to respond, clearing his throat and straightening his posture. “I could tell you needed something a bit more gentle after the day you had. You just met your mum after ten years, I didn’t think our usual dynamic would have been a good idea.”

“Oh.” JJ mumbles, pursing his lips. 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Ignoring the question, JJ answers with his own, heart suddenly racing. “Are you sleeping with anyone else?” 

Pope seems taken aback, his eyes widening just the slightest. “Well.. yeah, it’s no strings.”

JJ’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach.

“Are you?”

“Not at the moment.” JJ rushes out, forcing a smile. “I.. I’ve got to get going, see ya.”

Turning on his heel, JJ walks away as fast as possible, running a hand through his hair and tugging angrily. I was wrong. His mind voices, hands trembling. Pope isn’t feeling what I’m feeling. 

JJ shakes his head with a groan. “Just push it aside.” He hisses to himself, kicking the stand up on his bike and throwing his leg over. “Don’t ruin this like you ruin everything else.” He was so stupid, so fucking stupid to think that Pope would ever feel the same. 

Driving through the mostly empty streets, JJ tries to ignore the heavy pain in his chest, tries to push aside what Popes words meant and tries to focus on how he was to enter his home when he was sure Luke was there. It had been weeks since the last time he had stopped in to grab some clothing, and JJ was not in the mood, nor did he have the energy to fight back to whatever beating Luke was going to give him.

The house appears in the distance, and JJ takes in a deep breath as the bike comes to a stop, kicking out the stand and climbing off the seat, keys in hand. He pokes them between his knuckles the way Kiara had shown him many times before, and pushes open the door, body already trembling. Luke is nowhere to be seen, and JJ allows himself to breathe. It was rare to never see Luke passed out on the couch.

JJ jogs up the stairs, slipping inside of his room and opening up his drawers, piling item after item into his open bag. Surprisingly, nothing had changed in the bedroom. Nothing was ripped up, no new holes had been made in the walls. It looked the exact same as what it did the last time JJ was here. 

“Where have you been?” Luke’s angry, intoxicated voice sounds from the doorway. It makes JJ freeze in his stance, chest stuttering and heart racing, throat closing up at the amount of panic flowing through his veins.

Clearing his throat, JJ refuses to meet his fathers gaze. “John B’s.”

Luke scoffs. “Bullshit. You’ve been fucking that kook boy, haven’t you?”

The words have JJ’s eyes widening, and his heart leaping into the back of his throat. He turns to face his father, breathing shakily, tears burning in his eyes. “I-” The words fall from his mouth, blinking back the tears as his hands tremble. How did he know? How the fuck did Luke know?

“Don’t underestimate how many people I know in this town, you dirty faggot.”

With the sound of steps moving towards him, JJ hauls his bag over his shoulder and makes a run for it, all the way down the stairs and through the hallway towards the door. His heart was pounding erratically in his ears, throat dry and hands shaking. He was so close to the door, almost able to grab the handle and rip it open, when a large hand grabs hold of JJ’s hair and throws JJ to the floor. He yells, gasping in a breath, and can’t believe the horrifying screams escaping his throat as Luke drags him by his hair across the floor and onto the couch. 

RAPE WARNING 

JJ kicks and punches as hard as possible, gritting his teeth and clawing at Luke’s skin. He is only ignored by the stronger male, and thrown onto the rugged couch with a scream. The hand that was once in his hair snakes around his throat and forces him down into the cushions, gasping and choking in breaths, barely able to breathe as the hand crushes down on his windpipe. “No-” JJ manages out, coughing and slapping at Luke’s arms, desperate to break free. “No, what- what are you-”

“Shut up!” Snarls Luke, ripping JJ’s lower clothing off and pressing down harder on his throat. JJ screams, tears pouring down his cheeks, thrashing and kicking his legs to try and get Luke away from him. “You’ll probably enjoy this, fucking faggot.”

JJ’s eyes blow wide with realisation, and he suddenly cannot move, crying, screaming and begging Luke to get off of him. No. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. Luke would never- Luke would never do this to JJ. No. “Please, no-” Chokes JJ, coughing and spluttering. “Please!”

With just one look up into Luke’s eyes, the one man in his life who was supposed to love and protect him, never hurt him, JJ knows what was about to happen next. He lets his head drop back, lets his eyes squeeze shut and his mouth drops open in a hoarse wail as Luke rams into him brutally, holding JJ down by the hand on his throat.

JJ claws at Luke’s arms, slaps and punches at his face, but it does nothing. His entire body was drenched in a cold, fearful sweat, his skin sickly pale. He couldn’t breathe, could barely move to try and fight back, to try and save himself. Luke’s hold on his throat was too strong for JJ to be able to break free. “Please.” JJ begs, sobbing. “Please stop!”

His begs and pleads go ignored, Luke’s other hand slamming over JJ’s mouth to silence him. 

No matter how many times JJ kicked and punched, no matter how many times he tried to push Luke away, to use all of his strength and get away, he cannot. He was too weak, fear and disgust coiling through his veins with each and every thrust made inside of him, tearing him open from the inside. It hurts, fucking burns, blood pouring slowly down the backs of JJ’s thighs and onto the couch beneath him. 

Why him? Was all he could seem to think. Why was this happening to him? Why was his own father doing this to him?

He tries to think of something nice, tries to avert his mind to something other than the disgust and pain he was feeling. Tries to imagine Pope holding him like he would after they slept together, tries to imagine the gentle touch of Pope’s hands. 

JJ doesn’t know when it stops. Doesn’t know when Luke finally pulls out and leaves him bleeding and sobbing on the couch, barely conscious. All he knew was that when he was able to move, his body was still shaking, his heart was still racing, he was still sobbing. And when he sits up, JJ is unable to hold back the burning bile of shame and disgust pushing up his throat any longer, spilling the contents over the floor and sobbing painfully. 

He felt dirty. Disgusting. Worthless. He felt like dying. 

Luke had taken that last piece of sanctity he had left and crushed it like it was nothing. He raped him. He raped his own son. 

JJ lays on the couch for a while, sobbing and holding himself, eyes squeezed shut and teeth gritted. It was so painful, so shameful and disgusting to think about. And to think that JJ had barely done anything to stop it from happening only made things worse. All JJ could seem to tell himself was that nobody could know, for nobody would ever believe him if he uttered a word. Nobody would ever believe him, for JJ was a Maybank, and all that Maybank’s did was cause trouble. 

The next morning when JJ is able to force himself up the stairs and into the bathroom, he almost throws up all over again at the sight of himself in the cracked mirror. A large bruise in the shape of fingertips colours the skin on his throat, painful and making it hard to breathe. The fear held within his eyes was prominent, the blanket wrapped tightly around his body doing barely anything to ease his violent shaking. Dried blood covered the backs of his thighs, along with bruises and scratches from being dragged across the floor. 

JJ had barely uttered a word since he awoke, shaking and sobbing, still in the exact position he was left in. He couldn’t bring himself to. He felt numb. Felt ice cold. Shaky. 

JJ did nothing, which left him with the fear of it happening again. Why hadn’t he fought harder? Why hadn’t he run faster? Why didn’t he jump out of the window, or not go back for clothes at all? John B had plenty for the both of them, JJ had just created an impossible situation for himself.

He can barely keep himself on his feet, arms buckling from their placement on the sink, tears falling down his cheeks. 

“Why?” JJ whispers as he lay on the bathroom floor, hugging the blanket tighter around his body. “Why me?”

He takes in a deep, stuttering breath and drops the blanket from off his shoulders. He turns on the shower, ripping back the curtain, and winces once the warm water hits his ice cold skin. 

His body refused to stop shaking. Refused to let JJ be and fucking breathe. He scrubs the blood off his skin roughly, almost throwing up all over again at one look at the shower floor, the deep red contents washing down the drain. 

His legs buckle, and he falls with a thud and a yelp to the floor, his chest whacking into the outline of the tub. JJ heaves, coughing and spluttering, and hugs his knees to his aching chest, rocking back and forth under the water, teeth chattering, face covered with water, barely breathing. 

Tears fall down his cheeks at a fast pace, lungs and throat burning, and he rubs his hands roughly down his face, letting out a wail. "Fuck!" He screams, slamming his fist into the wall, over and over again until his knuckles are covered in blood. "Fuck you!"

JJ grits his teeth, breathing heavily, and allows his body to drop over his knees, the water pouring over his back. His heart was pounding, his entire body still shaking, gasping in breaths as he sobs, wailing and howling loudly. 

Why did this have to happen? Why had he been so stupid to go back there knowing full well Luke would probably be home?

JJ finds himself in his bed, covered in blankets and warm clothing, yet not even that would stop his shaking. Tears continued to stream down his cheeks. He couldn't get himself. Not even a few minutes. As soon as he closed his eyes, it all came rushing back at full speed, sending his body into another panic attack, ripping him up with a scream. 

It takes JJ days to even feel remotely able to get out of bed. He couldn’t be bothered to get in touch with anyone, no matter how many times his phone went off, he just couldn’t do it. For if he answered, then he would burst into tears, and if he burst into tears, then everything would come spilling out, and he couldn’t let anything out. He couldn’t let anyone know what had happened.

How were you supposed to tell the people you considered family that your own father.. that he. JJ drags his teeth over his lip harshly, shaking his head. They can't know. At school, he had to paint on a smile and act as though everything was okay, even if it wasn't. JJ had been able to do it many times before, he could do it again.

But, it was different this time. JJ had Pope in his life. JJ had his mother back in his life. Two people who could read him like an open book, two people who asked all the right questions and always worried. 

It almost felt like a nightmare, something JJ had imagined, but if that were the case, why could he still feel Luke’s hands wrapped around his throat? Why could he still hear the words Luke slurred to him? He could still feel everything, could still hear everything, could still see everything. It wouldn’t stop, a never ending cycle that has JJ sliding to the floor, knees up against his chest, unable to breathe.

When he is able to exit his room, he collects the clothing he was wearing that day and piles them into the barrel in the backyard, igniting it in flames and watching with tearful eyes as it burns. Threw everything that Luke had touched into the fire, until all that was left was nothing but ash. 

He hadn’t seen Luke since. The house was empty, emptier than usual, as though Luke had up and left to not be able to see what he had done had caused JJ to feel. No matter what he went through, JJ had never felt this numb. This disgusting and fearful. Had never felt like grabbing a bottle of pills and downing them with a bottle of bear to ensure he was gone. But laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and holding onto himself as he sobs and shakes, JJ felt like dying. JJ felt like ending his life right then and there. 

When JJ manages to drag himself out of the house, out of the suffocating atmosphere and into the cold air, he makes his way to school without a second thought. He did everything he could to hide the large bruise on his throat, piling on anything that would make it less prominent, and when he makes his way to their usual table, everyone rushes over to try and hug him.

JJ flinches, and forces them away, trying to ease his heavy breathing. “Guys, I’m fine.” He says, trying to laugh it off and take his seat. “Seriously.”

“You went awol for a whole week, dude.” John B argues, his tone stern. “Where have you been?”

“Home. Luke’s disappeared and I wasn’t feeling well so I thought I’d stay and lower the risk of you catching it.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. JJ had been sick, and Luke had disappeared. They didn’t need to know anything else.

They seem to buy it enough to drop the topic of his absence, and fill him in on everything he had missed. “Some random kook kept coming up to us asking where you were, said his name was Pope and that you knew each other from his first day of school?” Kiara says, rolling her eyes. 

Pope. What the fuck was JJ supposed to say to Pope? 

JJ tries to avoid him as per usual, but somehow, Pope always manages to find him, even when JJ chose the most unrecognisable places to hide. Pope always found him. JJ is the last one in the locker rooms changing, when the familiar pad of footsteps echo around the air. JJ flinches, heart leaping into the back of his throat, and almost screams when Pope reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder.

He turns around at a fast pace, stepping away. “Don’t do that!” He snaps, chest heaving, hands shaking. 

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Says Pope, raising his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide. “It’s just me. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

JJ falls silent, turning back around to continue changing, refusing to even look over at Pope. The other male had gotten so good at reading JJ, that he feared he would be able to see that something had happened and that he would break down and tell Pope everything. 

“Is everything okay?” Pope’s voice echoes once more, trying to step into JJ’s space only for him to step back, placing his hands up to keep Pope from moving any closer. 

“I’m fine.” Whispers JJ, sucking in deep, shaky breaths. “Just.. give me some space. I.. I’ve had a lot on my mind with my mum.” The lie comes so easily, JJ almost bursts into tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you.”

Pope shakes his head. “That’s not why I came to find you, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“Well, I am. So you can leave.”

“Oh.” Pope is taken aback, his eyes blowing wide. “Okay.”

JJ refuses to lift his head as Pope turns and leaves the locker rooms, not even putting up a fight, turns and leaves JJ to stand there and burst into tears, falling to his knees and holding onto himself.

Chapter Text

Shame. Disgust. Guilt. That’s all JJ could feel these days. Shame for what happened, disgust in himself, and guilt for not trying hard enough to push Luke off of him. How he couldn’t breathe, how he couldn’t break free. It all felt like his fault.

His body did not feel like his body anymore. He felt violated. Shameful. Horrified. Everytime John B tried to hold him in his sleep, JJ would shoot up with tears in his eyes, body covered in sweat, and would retreat into the living room to try and get some sleep on the couch. Any time that one of them tried to touch JJ, he would flinch away and try to laugh it off as getting a fright, but he could not hide the disgust that would coil through his stomach at the simple thought of allowing himself to be held. 

If he hadn't run, maybe this wouldn’t have happened? Maybe all Luke would have done was throw him around a bit before growing bored and leaving him bruised and bloody?

JJ was avoiding Pope like the plague, desperate to keep away to not give Luke another reason to do what he did again. He knows it’s not Pope’s fault, of course it isn’t, but people Luke knew had seen them together, had heard honest rumours and had told his father knowing full well he would hurt JJ in one way or another. None of this was Pope’s fault. It was all JJ’s. 

JJ has tried to get past what happened. Has tried to push through and just get on with life.

 But the simple thought of sleeping with Pope made him want to throw up. Maybe he should? Maybe if he sleeps with Pope, it could be his own way of punishing himself for allowing Luke to violate his intimacy? It could be his own way of hurting himself without the blood and bruises.

JJ pulls his phone out without a second thought, typing out a message to Pope that he knows Pope could not ignore, and rises from his seat on the couch, pacing. Pope seems shocked in his response, but as eager as ever, inviting JJ to come over.

At that, JJ is racing out of the home and is climbing onto his bike, driving as fast as possible to Pope’s. The home appears in the distance, and JJ skids to a stop in the driveway, running up the steps. Knocking erratically at the door, JJ doesn’t even allow Pope to speak when it opens, slamming their lips together and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “Fuck me.” JJ breathes between their lips, pulling away before diving right back in, Pope’s hands resting on his hips. “Fuck me.”

Pope lifts JJ into his arms, carrying him up the stairs and into his room, all the while twisting his tongue around JJ’s own, their lips pressed together so harshly, yet so soft. With every removal of clothing and every touch made against his body, JJ can feel the panic begin to surge, but forces himself to push it away and focus on Pope. forces himself to focus on not crying, on not being a baby.

Pope covers his fingers in lube, only for JJ to shake his head. “No,” he gasps out, gritting his teeth. “Fuck me raw, make it hurt.”

He seems unsure, but JJ just nods, motioning him to do so. Pope is hesitant in his movements, but slides inside of JJ without another word, looking down at him with wide eyes. JJ’s mouth is open, his teeth gritted and eyes squeezed shut, breathing heavily, his chest stuttering. “Are you okay?”

JJ nods, willing the tears away. “I need it hard,” he says. “Choke me, choke me.”

“What about your rule?” Pope asks. “Choking is off limits.”

“Just do it!”

Furrowing his brows at JJ’s somewhat fearful tone, Pope does as he is told, wrapping his hand around JJ’s throat and squeezing the sides. In an instant, JJ is gasping, his eyes blowing wide, tears flowing down his cheeks as he begs Pope to do it harder, to choke him harder. 

"No, no." Pulling back, Pope removes the hand he had held around JJ's throat, slowly sliding out of JJ and running a hand through his hair. "What is going on, this isn't you." Says Pope, a horrorful expression colouring his face. "This isn't like you, JJ."

JJ can't seem to speak. Just sits there, holding the blankets close to his body, before the floodgates of his tears break and he chokes on a sob, cupping a hand over his mouth. His heart pounds against his ribcage, throat burning and closing up at the amount of tears flowing down his cheeks. Pope reaches for him, and JJ flinches away, coughing and hiccupping. 

“Hey, hey.” Pope soothes. “Did something happen?”

"I.. I was.." JJ's voice cracks, breaking off painfully, before he forces his eyes to meet Pope's. "I was raped.."

He watches as Pope's face paints with an expression JJ had never seen before, his eyes widening and his shaking hands coming up to cover his mouth. It was almost as though Pope's heart had leapt into the back of his throat, his entire body freezing up on the spot, unable to speak nor figure out what he was to say. 

"Can I.. Can I hug you?" Pope finally asks, clearing his throat and sitting closer to the trembling male. 

Lifting his head, lower lip wobbling, JJ nods. Pope opens his arms, and JJ falls into them with a croaky sob, holding on so tight to Pope, so terrified that if he let go, Pope would disappear and leave him alone with his thoughts. "I.. I can't." Whispers JJ, hiccupping. "It won't stop."

Pope just holds him through it, kissing his temple and rubbing circles onto his back. He couldn't seem to wrap his head around what JJ had told him, couldn't seem to bring himself to speak, fearful of what might come out. Anger and terror flows through his veins, heart pounding and eyes burning with tears. How long had JJ been keeping this to himself? How long has JJ had to stay silent?

"Who did this?" Pope finds himself asking, holding on tightly to JJ's shaking figure. 

JJ shakes his head. "I can't."

Furrowing his brows, Pope looks down at JJ in confusion and pain. "Why?"

"You'll think I'm crazy." Breathes JJ, sucking in a hoarse breath.

"I can assure you," Pope begins, placing his hand over JJ's head and pressing his face into the crook of his neck, biting his lower lip as JJ sobs harder, soaking his bare skin. "Nothing you could ever say would make me think you were crazy."

Gasping and coughing, JJ wills himself to pull it together, shaking hands grabbing at Pope to pull him closer. "You.. You know how I lied about my parents?" 

Pope nods slowly. "Yes."

"Things.. Things are worse at home then I let you know." Says JJ, sniffling. "My.. my dads an alcoholic and a drug addict. He.. he.." JJ breaks off with a sob, falling into another round of tears, unable to speak the words, his heart aching painfully.

Pope freezes once more, his eyes widening and his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. "Your.. your dad did this?" Pope whispers, voice cracking with horror.

All he gets in response is a nod before JJ is wailing loudly, coughing and heaving, spluttering over mutters of words. The smallest of weights lifts itself from his shoulders, the weight of keeping quiet finally gone.  "I wanted to punish myself." Continues JJ, sobbing hoarsely. "I wanted to hurt myself for not being able to stop him."

"Hey," Whispers Pope, pulling away just enough to cup his hands to JJ's cheeks, forcing him to look into his eyes. "None of what happened was your fault. And you're going to be okay."

"How?"

Pope doesn't know how to respond.

"How can I be okay after what happened?"

"I don't know." Pope says, biting his lower lip. "But I just feel it in my bones."

For the rest of the day, Pope and JJ lay in bed, holding onto one another tightly as JJ finally gets a small amount of sleep, head resting on Pope’s chest. Anger and horror flows through Pope’s veins, his heart pounding as he replays their conversation in his head. JJ’s own father raped him. Raped him as a punishment for being gay. For being himself. How despicable do you have to be to do such a thing? 

With a sudden flinch, Pope gazes down at JJ in his arms, face contorting into an expression of fear as the boy begins to thrash, eyelids moving along with JJ’s eyes, his breaths coming in as rasps. “JJ,” Pope says softly, yet panic laces itself through his body. “Hey, hey, JJ. Wake up, it’s okay.”

JJ only thrashes harder, muttering incoherent words, before he is lunging up with a scream, cupping his hands over his ears. His body shook with great violence, unable to breathe, panic lodging a lump in his throat. “JJ?” JJ flinches at the muffled voice, shoving Pope away from him and scurrying to the end of the bed. “JJ, its me.”

“Don’t touch me,” he sobs brokenly, eyes squeezed shut. “Please, please don’t do this.”

“JJ, hey.” Voices Pope, placing his hands out for JJ to see, shuffling forward at a slow pace over to JJ’s trembling figure. “It’s just me. It’s Pope. You’re safe.”

Willing his eyes open, JJ is able to breathe at the sight of the familiar sweet, caring person before him, tears falling down hot cheeks. He bows his head, scrubbing his hands down his face, then shakes them out, a cold sweat coating his skin. “Sorry.” JJ whispers, clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair. “I.. I’ve been getting night terrors.. I.. I should’ve told you.”

Pope shakes his head, smiling warmly, calmly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise to me. Can I do anything for you? Get you something to drink? To eat?”

“Just.. just hold me.” It comes out soft, yet broken, cracking at the edges. “Hold me please..”

Holding out his arms, JJ crawls into Pope’s lap with a deep sigh, wrapping his arms tightly around the other males shoulders. He settles his face into the crook of Pope’s neck, breathing in his calming scent, eyes fluttering closed. Something flutters deep inside of JJ, not nerves, but.. Ease. He felt at ease in Pope’s embrace, felt at ease in Pope’s company. 

JJ did not think he would be able to feel something like this ever again. Did not think he would be able to feel so calm in another person's arms. But with Pope, things were different. No matter what, he was always there for JJ. More so than any of his friends. 

“Do you have anywhere to stay?” Pope whispers into the silence, rubbing his hand up and down JJ’s spine. “Anywhere you feel safe?”

Shaking, then nodding his head, and shaking it again, JJ shrugs, refusing to pull away to look into Pope’s eyes. “I have somewhere to stay.” He croaks. “But I’d rather be with you.. I.. I don’t trust anyone else right now.”

Nodding against JJ’s shoulder, Pope kisses the clothed skin. “Okay. I’ll let my parents know.”

“Are you sure?” 

Pulling away, Pope cups his hands to JJ’s cheeks, thumbing at the soft, tear soaked skin. “Of course I’m sure. Thank you for trusting me. And I know you don’t like to be sympathized with, but I’m so sorry.” Breathes Pope, lower lip wobbling through his words. JJ’s eyes widened. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this, especially you. I just wish there was something I could do that would help.”

“Hey.” JJ cups Pope’s face with his hands, smiling small. “You’re helping me right now. There’s no place I feel safest then when I’m with you.”

Their foreheads fall together, and JJ holds onto Pope tightly, breathing in his scent once more. JJ wanted nothing more than to stay here in Pope’s arms forever, safe and sound and away from Luke.

Chapter Text

Life at Pope’s place was different. A good different. Every morning, they were awoken by his parents singing and dancing in the kitchen, cooking them all up a large breakfast that would be downed quickly. JJ was not used to eating so much food, his slightly boney figure becoming more fuller, more nourished. They would spend the day out on Heyward’s boat, fishing and laughing and swimming, before coming home and eating dinner as a family and watching the stars from a blanket laid out on the grass, their hands interlocked.

Pope’s parents were more than understanding about JJ’s situation, having given Pope permission to tell them what happened. He was able to stay for as long as he needed, and was treated like part of the family. Fern even went as far as buying JJ new clothes, her reasoning being, ‘you’ve helped Pope feel welcomed in a new town, so let us help you.’

And even though JJ wanted to stay there for as long as possible, he did not want to overstay his welcome. Pope helped him to pack a bag full of his new clothes and some delicious food, adding in a few items JJ had taken a liking to from Pope’s wardrobe. “Hey, that’s yours.” JJ says upon glancing inside of the bag at the oversized t-shirt. “I can’t take this.”

“Of course you can.” Pope replies, smiling. “I don’t wear it anyway, and you love it.”

Blushing, JJ bumps their shoulders together. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“The shirt, being there for me.. Just.. everything.” Breathes JJ, turning to face Pope, his hands on Pope’s cheeks. “I’ve never felt so welcomed and loved like I have by you and your family. So thank you.”

Pope shrugs, blushing himself. “No need to thank me.”

A knock cuts the two off from speaking any longer, the bedroom door opening and revealing a teary eyed Fern. “Oh, come here, give me a hug.” she says. JJ laughs and embraces her warmly, holding on tight. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” Whispers JJ. “Thank you for all that you have done for me.”

“No need to thank me, baby. You’re family now.”

JJ has to force himself not to cry at the words, smiling and kissing Fern’s cheek. “I better get going.” He says, gazing over at Pope. “Don’t wanna keep John B waiting.”

Pope nods. “I’ll walk you out.”

JJ tries to walk as slow as possible to make this last, to be in Pope’s company for the tiniest bit longer. Pope seems to want the same, slowing his pace down to the point it takes them far too long to actually get to the door and say goodbye. “Thank you, again.” JJ says. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me.”

“As I said, of course.” Says Pope, smiling that dorky smile JJ loved so much. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”

JJ nods. “Yeah.” stepping forward, JJ presses a kiss to Pope’s cheeks, standing up on his tippy toes to reach. A tingling sensation flows over his lips, a blush igniting over his cheeks. “Bye.” 

The walk to John B’s is excruciating. What was he supposed to tell them? How was he supposed to hide the fact that he had been staying at Pope’s house this entire time? Better yet, how was he supposed to explain the fading, but very much still there bruise on his throat?

John B is waiting for him on the deck, sipping at a can of beer, blunt in hand. He smiles at JJ, and offers him a hit as soon as he catches sight of him, trying for a hug and only being flinched away. “Where have you been?”

“Tutoring.” JJ jokes, trying to ease the slight tension held between them. “I stayed over to cram in some time for exams.”

“Mhm.” John B hums, amused. “Right.”

“Oh shut up.”

Kiara does not take long to arrive, smiling, and the three find themselves seated around the deck, sipping their beers and puffing smoke into the air. JJ felt anxious, being surrounded by them, the secret of what had happened to him heavy on his chest. He wanted to tell them, but.. He just couldn’t figure out how.

He gets up from his seat to crush his beer can, walking over to the barrel they kept them in and stops in his tracks. The hairs on the back of JJ's neck stand up at the sudden feeling of eyes glaring holes in the back of his head. Turning around, he furrows his brows at Kiara who was staring right at him, fury held within her gaze. "What's your problem? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kiara scoffs. "You and I both know why I'm looking at you."

"No," JJ shakes his head, gulping down the lump in his throat, fear coiling through his veins. "Just you."

"You fucked a kook." Kiara yells, standing from her seat and getting in JJ's face. JJ takes a step back, eyes blowing wide. "That's what my problem is. You went against our rule and fucked a kook."

Trying to laugh it off, JJ rolls his eyes. "Seriously? You think I fucked a kook?"

"Don't bullshit me, JJ." Kiara states lowly, getting into JJ's face once more. "I saw you leaving his house. You were kissing his cheek and smiling like a fucking idiot. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Laughing angrily, JJ bites the inside of his cheek, pursing his lips. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you!" JJ yells back, tears welling in his eyes and throwing his arms high in the air. Of course she saw them. She lived nearby, she fucking walked the street Pope lived on, of course she was going to see them. JJ was a fucking idiot. "What does it matter that I fucked a kook? It doesn't make me any less of a pogue, nor is it any of your business who I sleep with."

"Because we have a rule!"

"Fuck the rule!" Exclaims JJ, voice cracking. "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Okay, why don't we just calm down." John b tries, breaking his silence from where he was standing, watching the whole ordeal go down.

JJ shakes his head. "No. It's none of your business who I sleep with, pogue or not. And it is not your right to tell me who I can love."

"You love a kook?" Whispers Kiara, taking a step back, her eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah, so what." Says JJ, shocked himself. "He treats me right. He treats me like a fucking person who deserves happiness. He proves to me that I'm more than just someone who gets abused by my dad. Oh, and guess what? He was the only one who fucking noticed what was wrong with me the past few weeks! He was the only one who cared enough!"

Rearing her head back, Kiara blinks. "What are you saying?"

Clutching his hands into fists, JJ forces himself not to cry, lower lip wobbling. "I was raped. Luke somehow found out about us and raped me as a punishment for being gay." JJ whispers, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a deep breath. "I stayed with Pope cause that's the only place that I felt safe. Neither of you tried to even ask me what happened, you never do! You just whisper to yourselves thinking I won't ever tell you, which I would if you proved to me you actually fucking gave a damn about me!"

"Luke.. Luke raped you?" John B asks, tears welling in his eyes. "JJ.."

"No, don't do that." JJ hisses. "Don't fucking act like you care now. Pope has been the only one this year to care about all that has happened to me. He taught me how to let people in, he taught me how love was supposed to go.. So yeah, I'm in love with him. A kook.. Big Deal-"

The sound of footsteps pausing and an item being dropped echoes through the air, cutting JJ off from finishing his words. He is quick to turn on his feet, tears flowing down his cheeks, and stops in his tracks at the sight of Pope standing there, his eyes wide with shock. JJ’s hoodie is on the ground having slipped from Pope’s grip, dirt covering the soft material. 

 "Pope, I-"

Pope shakes his head, and begins to walk away, raising his hands in the air. "Pope, wait!" JJ jogs after him as fast as he can, grabbing hold of Pope's hands and twisting to stop the other male in his tracks, looking into his fearful eyes. "I-"

"You love me?" Whispers Pope, voice cracking.

Taking a step back, the air catching in the back of his throat, JJ whimpers behind his hand. "I'm sorry!" He sobs, running his hands through his hair and tugging. "I- I didn't mean to, I swear.. I.. I just.. I know I said I wouldn’t fall for you, but.. I.. I did.”

Pope drags a hand down his face, then through his hair, chewing at his lip as though he were trying to find the right words to say. “I..” Sucking in a deep breath, Pope pulls on a smile. “I love you too.”

Pausing, JJ's eyes widened, his heart leaping into the back of his throat. "You.. you do?"

"Of course I do!" Shouts Pope, throwing his arms in the air. "Fuck, how could I not, JJ? Everything you do stays in my mind on repeat for hours on end. I think about you all the time, I constantly have to stop myself from calling you just to hear your voice-"

JJ cuts him off. "Then why did you walk away? Why did you look so terrified?"

"Because.. because we can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Questions JJ, heart pounding against his ribs.

"This." Pope points between them, throwing his head back, groaning painfully. "Us. We can't be together. You know we can't. We.. we're done."

JJ's heart drops to the pit of his stomach. what?

Chapter Text

"What?" JJ’s voice shakes as he speaks, eyes welling with further tears, lower lip quivering. "I don't understand.. you just said-"

"I know what I said," says Pope, running a hand over his face. "But your friends.. They hate the idea of us. A pogue and a kook. they're the only family you have here and I don't want you choosing me over them. I'm sorry JJ."

Shaking his head, JJ screws up his face, heaving in breath after breath. "That's not your decision to make. You're a fucking asshole, Pope. A true kook, just stringing me along for your own pleasure." JJ spits, looking Pope up and down. “I never should’ve trusted you.”

Pope bows his head, only to shake it and lift it once more, pursing his lips. "You don't mean that." He whispers. "And you know that's not true."

"Do I though?"

Turning on his heel, Pope refuses to look back at JJ. "You need them, JJ. You can't deny that. You don’t need me. We're done."

The words have JJ's heart leaping into the back of his throat, broken, gut wrenching sobs escaping his lips. "I don't want them!" Cries JJ, falling to his knees, scrubbing his hands down his face. "I don't want them if I can't have you. I want you, Pope. For once in my life, I'm being honest with myself. All I've ever wanted was you. Please ! How can you just throw this away ?"

Pope stops in his tracks, hands clenched into fists at his sides, shoulders shaking at the intensity of his newfound sobs. "I'm sorry." He whispers one last time, voice cracking painfully. "Goodbye, JJ."

With blurry eyes does JJ watch Pope walk away without even a glance over his shoulder, all until he is a mere shadow in the distance. JJ screams, fucking wails until his throat burns, pounding his fist into the dirt and stones until his knuckles were bleeding, tears stinging his eyes, chest stuttering, throat closing up and making it all the more harder to breathe.

How could he have been so stupid to fall for a kook? How could he have been so stupid to let this go on even after Pope became more than just a guy he hooked up with?

Letting out one last scream, JJ falls back onto his hands, staring up at the cloudy sky with his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck you!" He wails, letting his back slam to the dirt floor. "Fuck you for making me fall in love with you."

Rolling onto his stomach, JJ rises to shaky legs, dodging past John B's figure heading in his direction, not stopping for even a second. His heart pounds in his ears, knuckles screaming with pain as the blood continues to pour, calves aching at the speed and intensity of his run.

He runs all the way home, runs all the way to the shithole that once felt close enough to a home for JJ to feel happy when in it. Ripping the door open, JJ stops in his tracks at the sight of Luke holding a bottle of beer heading back to the lounge, only to stop and glare. "The fuck are you doing here?"

"You already know this." Whispers JJ, eyes filling with further tears, his teeth gritting together tightly. "But I'm gay. I'm falling in love with a guy and I could care less about what you thought of it!" He all but screams, chest pounding as he pants. "My whole life I have been afraid of you. Well guess what, I'm not afraid of you anymore!"

The beer bottle smashes against the wall beside JJ's head, and JJ barely flinches, raising his head and staring his father down. "You fucking faggot!" Luke exclaims, lunging forward and holding JJ by the throat against the wall, pressing his hand over his windpipe.

"You gonna hit me? You gonna rape me again?" JJ manages to choke out, gasping in what little breaths he could. "You gonna try to beat the faggot out of me? You can't. I've tried. I've tried to stop being this way but it's me. You should just be glad that the guy I'm falling for hates me now. So go on. Punch me, kick me, kill me." Seethes JJ, coughing. "I couldn't care less."

Rearing his fist back, teeth gritted, Luke pounds his fist against JJ’s face over and over again, not stopping for a second even when he is sprawled out on the floor, coughing up his own blood. Just keeps punching and punching until JJ is barely conscious, blood covering the entirety of his face, bruises littered across his body. It burned, ached, so fucking painful, but JJ could care less. He lost the one person he trusted. There was nothing left for him. 

JJ doesn’t know how long he lays there for, all he knows is that when he is able to sit up, further blood comes rushing from his mouth, and he chokes and coughs, spitting it across the floor. Shaking hands grab his phone from his pocket, the screen cracked, and dials the one number he was sure he could rely on.

When the phone drops from JJ’s hand, he falls back onto the floor with a gasp, holding his aching chest. The opening of the door is the next thing that he hears, scurrying footsteps making their way towards him, soft, gentle hands cupping his cheeks and sobbing quietly. “Baby, oh my god.” Drew whispers, unable to contain her fear and panic at the blood surrounding the floor and her son's face. “Baby, it's mum, can you hear me?”

“Mum?” JJ chokes, coughing and spluttering. “You came..”

Drew smiles brokenly, pulling JJ into her arms, his bloody face resting in the crook of her neck. “Of course I came. I’m not leaving you behind. Not again.”

In less than an hour, JJ finds himself laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to multiple machines and stitches covering his face. Drew is outside the room speaking with his doctor, and with one glance at her face, she looked absolutely horrified. “What did he say?” Croaks JJ upon her entrance into the room, taking a seat beside him and holding onto his hand. 

“He said you’re very lucky to be alive.” Drew says, clearing her throat. “And that you’ve suffered some major trauma.”

JJ nods, wincing. “It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before. I’ll be fine.”

Shaking her head, Drew meets JJ’s eyes. “But what would have happened if you hadn’t been able to call me? You would probably be laying in a puddle of your own blood, close to death, alone and scared. This isn’t fine, JJ. You’re not fine.”

JJ falls silent.

“He.. he also mentioned that.. Upon further investigation that you have tearing.. Back there.” Drew whispers, her voice cracking. JJ flinches. “Did.. Did something else happen that you haven’t told me?”

Shrugging, JJ clears his throat. “Dad was angry.. He.. he found out Pope and I had been hooking up and.. Wanted to punish me in a way I wouldn’t forget..” Breathes JJ, bowing his head. 

The air catches in the back of his mothers throat. “He.. he raped you?”

JJ shrugs once more, refusing to allow himself to cry. “Yeah.”

“Oh my God.” running her hands through her hair, Drew stands to her feet, pacing the hospital room. “Why didn’t you tell me? I.. I could have come and gotten you.. I.. I could have taken you to the police-”

Cutting her off, JJ shakes his head. “I wanted to.. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how. I burned everything.. I couldn’t stand it.. I couldn’t stand the idea of keeping the clothes I was wearing. I just.. I knew nobody in the sheriff's department would ever believe me. So what was the point in trying?”

Nothing is said between them for a few moments, Drew finally sitting back down and taking hold of JJ’s awaiting hand once more. Her leg bounces anxiously, a habit JJ seems to have inherited, and she sighs, willing herself not to cry. “I’m so sorry, baby.” She says, voice breaking painfully. “I’m so sorry.”

JJ shakes his head. “I’m okay.” He whispers. “I’m okay. I have all that I need right here.”

******

After a few days of treatment and constant monitoring, JJ is able to leave the hospital. A bag or two are seated in the boot of his mother’s car, his name written on the small tags hanging from the material, his heart clenching. All that he owned fit into two simple, small bags. All that he once loved as a child, all that he created, all that he wore, stuffed inside of a few bags. How fucking pathetic was that?

JJ falls asleep on the drive to Drew’s small, yet warm home. He hadn’t been able to get much sleep in the hospital, far too many horrible memories flashing through his mind as soon as he closed his eyes. He wished Drew had found out about Luke from JJ, not through the doctors. He wished he had been able to say the words, to tell the horrifying experience in his own time and in his own way. He couldn’t get the look in his mothers eyes out of his head. 

The gentle feeling of a hand cupping JJ’s cheek and caressing the skin awakens him from his nap. He smiles small, nuzzling into the hold, and flutters his eyes open, expecting to see Pope in front of him, smiling that stunning smile that made JJ fall helplessly in love with him. Pope had been the only one to be so gentle with JJ, so careful, that it felt strange having someone else be so caring towards him.

“Hey, baby.” Drew whispers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “We’re here.”

“Oh.” Pulling away from the touch, JJ sits himself up, unbuckling his seatbelt with a quiet wince. “Okay.”

Drew is quick to meet JJ on the other side of the car, opening the door and tucking her arm around her son's waist. JJ leans all of his weight onto her, and limps up to the front door, smiling at the sound of Cooper’s barks of excitement on the other side of the door. 

“Hey, boy,” JJ greets when the door opens and Cooper comes running out, jumping up at JJ. 

“Down, Cooper.” Drew says, leading them both inside. “No jumping.”

Cooper whines, but does as he is told, waiting until JJ is seated at the dining table to plant his face in his lap and lick at his hand. JJ giggles, leaning down and kissing the crown of the dogs head. 

“How does a hot chocolate sound?” Drew asks from the kitchen, grabbing out two mugs,

“Good thanks, ma.” Patting his lap, JJ laughs happily as Cooper leaps into his lap, snuggling his face into the crook of JJ’s neck. JJ wraps his arms around the dog, sighing into the soft fur. “How did you get my things?”

“John B. I went to his house hoping he would help me, and I left with two bags full of your things, tucked away safely.”

JJ nods slowly. “Oh. Um.. how was he?”

The jug flicks off, and the clink of a spoon stirring the hot water through the mixture fills the air. “Quite sad. Did you guys have a fight?”

“Something like that.”

“How are things going with Pope?” Drew questions, setting a cup of hot chocolate in front of JJ on the table before taking her seat. 

“It’s over.” Breathes JJ, shrugging sadly. “We admitted our feelings, but.. Pope still broke it off because he didn’t want me to choose him over my friends. I tried to change his mind but it didn’t work.”

Placing her hand over JJ’s, Drew smiles softly. “He obviously loves you dearly to be able to go through the pain of letting you go.”

“I wish he didn’t.” JJ says, clearing his throat to fight off the sobs desperate to come rushing out of his mouth. “I wish he didn’t break things off. I haven’t wanted something as much as I have wanted him. I love him so much, I don’t want to let him go.”

“Then don’t.” Drew responds. “Keep fighting for your future together.”

“What’s the point?”

Drew sighs, squeezing JJ’s hand. “You love each other, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” JJ croaks.

“Then fight. That’s all the reason you need.”

Chapter Text

Going back to school was painful. Ignoring Kiara and John B was painful. But having to see Pope was the worst pain of all. The glances across the hallways, the longing stares in study hall and in any class that they were together in. JJ could not bear the pain heavy in his chest, aching and threatening to crumble and pierce his heart. 

Pope seemed himself. Bubbly, shy and awkward. Yet, there was something else hidden deep within his eyes and the way that he would exhale when their eyes would lock. It seemed as though he were in pain, as though he felt the heaviness held within his heart just like JJ did. But before JJ could even begin to ask Pope a question through their gaze, Pope would break away and go back to work or back to talking with whomever was beside him at his locker, smiling and laughing.

How could he act so okay after all that happened? How could he act as though he hadn’t a care in the world about what happened between them? About what blossomed between them, a love JJ never knew he could feel. 

Pope was the one person JJ felt as though he could trust with anything. He felt safe in Pope’s presence, like Pope would do anything in his power to protect JJ. He had done so before, but why not now? Why didn’t he stand up to Kiara? Why didn’t he want to be chosen over them? 

A hand to JJ’s shoulder cuts him from his thoughts, and he shrugs the hand away, panic icing through his veins. He twists around, face contorted into one of fear, and almost lets out a pained sigh at the sight. “JJ, can we please talk?” Questions John B, his eyes begging in that same way he used back when they were kids. 

JJ shakes his head, shouldering his bag and taking a step forward into the boisterous hallways. “I’m not ready to talk to you.” He says, fastening his pace as soon as John B begins to catch up with him. “I have to go.”

“Wait, please.” Cutting JJ off, John B backs him up into an empty classroom, holding onto his shoulders tightly. “Oh my God- What happened to you?”

“None of your business.”

JJ tries to pull away, but John B is as persistent as ever, shoving him back in place. “Just let me say something, please. I.. I don’t have a problem with you wanting to be with Pope, I could fucking care less as long as you’re happy. You know that.”

JJ bows his head.

“I just.. I want to be there for you, I want to be here with what you’re going through, I just.. I never know how to.”

Sucking in a deep breath, JJ chews the inside of his cheek, nodding his head. “Well when you figure it out, come find me. I have to go help set up decorations.”

Pushing past John B’s slumped figure, JJ escapes back into the hallway, clutching a hand over his heart and willing himself to breathe. He knows John B didn’t mean any harm by touching him, but JJ can’t help but feel panicked whenever he tries to touch him, as if he would randomly transform into Luke and hold him down again. JJ shakes his head, gritting his teeth and forcing the tears at bay. “Breathe.” He mutters to himself, running his hands through his hair. “Just breathe.”

He drops against a wall, squeezing his eyes shut and fisting a handful of his shirt, gasping in breaths. He tries to remember what Pope taught him when this would happen, tries to remember how to regulate his breathing and fucking calm down, but nothing comes to mind. All that comes is images of that day. The harsh weight of Luke’s hand over his throat, the pouring of blood down the backs of his thighs, the fear, the shame, the disgust.

“Breathe.” JJ hisses, tugging harshly at his hair and sliding to the floor, gasping and choking for air. “Fucking breathe!”

His throat felt as though it was closing up with each stuttering inhale, his entire body trembling and cowering in on itself. Why here? Why now? With just a simple touch, JJ was sent right back to what happened, was sent right back to when he was at his weakest, his most terrorful. Why? Why had Luke done what he did? Why had he done the one thing JJ never thought he would have to fear when it came to his father?

Finally, with the cupping of hands over his ears, JJ is able to picture Pope in front of him, talking him through breathing exercises. JJ had just had another night terror, and had just come back from being stuck in the memory of it all. Pope had his hands in front of him, tracing his finger over each and every one, instructing JJ to inhale as he drew upward, hold, and then exhale as he drew downward. Placing his shaking hands in front of his eyes, JJ traces them as best as he can, listening to the soft, distant sound of Pope’s voice in his mind telling him to take his time and that everything is okay. That he was safe.

With one last stuttering inhale of air, JJ is able to breathe, a few tears falling from his eyes and pouring down his cheeks. He scrubs them away angrily, standing on shaking legs, and stumbles towards the rundown hall where Prom was being held. 

Kiara had written his name down to help with decorations a few weeks ago, and even though he refused to talk to her, he knew he needed the distraction, even if it meant being in the same room as her. JJ pulls himself together, shaking out his hands and rubbing his eyes before entering the mostly empty room, dropping his bag to the floor and flowing into the rhythm of hanging up decorations.

He can feel the familiar pair of Kiara’s eyes watching him, not glaring, just staring, taking in his every move. He tries to ignore it, tries not to turn around and glare at her to leave him alone, but ends up whacking into a strong body whilst walking to collect more decorations, his head down to avoid her persistent gaze. 

Stumbling back a few steps, JJ gasps, clutching a hand over his heart. Looking up slowly, the air catches in the back of JJ’s throat, his eyes blowing wide. Those same, beautifully sweet brown eyes stare back at him, just as wide and as shocked as him. They scatter over JJ’s face, softening sadly at the scars littered across JJ’s skin, the stitches long gone and painful scars being left behind. “Sorry.” Whispers JJ, clearing his throat and pushing past Pope. “I’ll get out of your way.”

Before Pope can get a word in, JJ is long gone across the room, trying to busy himself in anything other than the male behind him. He can hear footsteps approaching him, not soft and heavy like Pope’s, but heavy and full of purpose, a finger tapping his shoulder rather harshly. JJ whirls around in panic, his chest stuttering, and bites his tongue at the person now stood in front of him. 

“Look,” Kiara says, pointing across the room. JJ follows her arm, his eyes welling with tears at the sight of Pope smiling and laughing with a girl near the doors, that same smile on his lips that he used only when he was with JJ. “You don’t need him. He’s already forgotten that you exist.”

“Of course I need him.” JJ finds himself whispering, choking back a sob. “I was falling in love with him.”

Scoffing dryly, Kiara rolls her eyes. “Well look how well that turned out. I told you he was just stringing you along, that he was just playing with you and here you are, heartbroken because he dropped you.” JJ flinches at the tone. “He never liked you, JJ. That's just what kooks do.”

JJ’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, anger and pain flowing through his veins. Kiara tries to place a hand on his shoulder, tries to touch him, but JJ only shrugs her away, looking her right in the eye with a certain glint in it JJ had never used before. “You may be one of my best friends, Kie, someone I consider my sister, my family, but that does not give you the right to tell me who I get to love.” JJ hisses, so much malice held within his tone that Kiara takes a step back, shocked. JJ wasn’t usually one for confrontation. He hated yelling or being yelled at. But right here, right now, JJ could give less of a fuck of his fear. He was sick and tired of being pushed around. “So please shut the fuck up and leave me alone.”

Pushing past the girl stuck in shock, JJ grabs hold of his bag and leaves the hall with a croaky sob, willing himself not to cry. He drops himself down on the steps outside of the empty art block, dropping his face into his hands. He was so fucking tired of Kiara’s shit, and yet, he still felt guilty for yelling. 

Sudden footsteps cloud his hearing, and JJ groans. 

“Kiara, I don’t want to-” JJ cuts himself off, his eyes landing on John B taking a seat beside him, not bothering to utter a word. 

JJ takes that as his cue to fall silent himself, and looks out over the empty courtyard, sucking in a deep breath. He doesn’t know how long they sit there for, all he knows is that over time, the silence becomes comforting like it used to be. 

 "Do you love him?" John B asks suddenly, voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" Replies JJ, heart suddenly raging against his chest, choking back a sob.

"Do you love him?"

Sucking in a deep, shaky breath, JJ smiles through his tears. "I think I fell in love with him before I could even say no."

"Then tell him."

"It's not that easy." Voices JJ, clearing his throat. "How can I tell him I love him after everything that has happened? He hates me. We agreed on no strings and I fell for him. I fucking fell in love when I said I wouldn't."

John b rolls his eyes. "You aren't the only one who fell."

Furrowing his brows, JJ turns to face the other male. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you that fucking blind?" John B snaps, looking at JJ as though he were fucking ridiculous. "Pope is in love with you, JJ. From the day I met him after he dropped you to mine from the hospital, I could tell by the look in his eye that he cared about you, even if you didn't reciprocate those feelings. Then you both fell so fucking hard. The way you looked at each other, even from afar, it was so easy to see how much you love him. That's why he broke it off, because he loves you. He told you himself he felt the same. So he broke it off."

Falling into fits of broken sobs, JJ scrubs his hands angrily over his eyes, coughing and spluttering. "How could he still love me after this? after all that I said.."

"Because I doubt you two ever had to force your love for one another. You were drowning in it from the moment you met."

Somehow, those words summed up each and every bit of JJ's and Pope's relationship. No love was forced, they could not help what their hearts so dearly wanted. From the night that they met in that club, they had already fallen deep into the ocean obis people called love.

"And, I'm sorry." Whispers John B.

JJ furrows his brows. "What for?"

"For being a shitty friend. I should've asked what happened, I should've pushed. I'm so sorry you went through that."

"It's okay." JJ says, pulling on a smile and taking hold of John B's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You're here now. That's all that matters."

Chapter Text

“Do you have a certain colour that you’re going with?” Drew voices from her place in the store, flicking through racks of blazer vests. She had been insistent on taking JJ shopping for a suit, for ‘jeans and a t- shirt is not prom attire.’

Shrugging, JJ lets his head fall back, staring intently at the ceiling. “I dunno. Maybe just black.”

Tsking, Drew shakes her head. “I’m sure you look nice in black, but don’t you wanna step out of your comfort zone?”

“Not really, no.”

JJ really did not want to be here. He wanted to be hidden under the covers of his new, comfortable and safe bed, sleeping the day away in hopes of it being too late to go to prom. He didn’t have a date, he barely had any friends to go with, and he seriously did not want to see Pope. 

His heart clenches painfully at the name, it had been doing so since Pope broke things off. Every time someone mentioned him or said his name, a great intensity of pain would surge through JJ’s body until he felt like hiding away and breaking down into sobs. Shaking his head, JJ scrubs his hands down his face. Stop it.

“How about this,” Drew says through his thoughts. “We make a deal. If you hate every option I choose, you can wear your jeans and t-shirt. But if you don’t, you have to wear the one you love the most.”

“Highly unlikely,” JJ says, smiling. “But okay. It’s a deal.”

Living with his mum was a new turn in the page of the story of his life and JJ was beyond joyful. It did feel strange having a parent in his life who actually cared about the decisions he made and if he were happy, but a good strange. Something JJ still needed to get used to, but something not impossible. 

Drew smiles, patting JJ’s cheek, and instructs him to take a seat while she chooses a few tuxedos for them to start with. JJ does so with a chuckle, plonking himself down in the overly comfortable chair and letting his head drop back. JJ was tired. So fucking tired of the bullshit between him and Kiara, so fucking tired of being terrified to even think about his childhood home where many more items he wanted was still locked away there, out of his reach.

Every time he tried to go back there, it would all come rushing back and JJ would end up crumbling to his knees in fits of sobs, coughing and heaving in breaths. He just wanted everything to stop. He was sick of always having the thought of what happened in the back of his mind, ready to pounce at any moment of weakness. 

His mum had gotten him to a therapist, someone JJ was still learning to trust, but someone who actually helped JJ. She told him that the abuse would stay for him forever, but it was what he did and what he thought that would dictate what he allowed it to do to him. It made JJ think really hard about all the years of abuse and neglect he suffered through, how he always pretended it didn’t affect him, and how damaging that was to his mentality. 

‘You’ve pushed everything down since you were young. You need in your own time to feel everything. To feel all the pain and horror before you can move forward.’ She had said.

‘But it will still be there.’ JJ had replied. ‘Everything will still be there and I just.. I want to forget it all.’

‘I wish it was that simple, JJ. I really do. But you might just find that allowing yourself to feel could be a step in the right direction to move forward. If you stick to the mentality of pushing everything down and wanting to forget it ever happened, you may never feel like yourself. You may never be able to be the person that you want to be. Let that sit with you till our next session, yeah? I don’t want you pressuring yourself into doing anything you may not be ready for.’

She was amazing, really, but JJ doesn’t know how he was supposed to feel everything when he’s been pushing it down for so long.

“Here’s your first two,” Drew says suddenly, grinning as she holds up the two tuxedos.

JJ’s eyes blow wide. “Purple and Red? You’re insane.”

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

Sighing, JJ takes the hangers from his mothers hands, tucking himself behind the changing room curtain. He has no idea how long this goes on for. Every crazy colour made his eyes hurt. That is, until his mother slips a mostly white tux into the changing room with him. A white undershirt holds snuggly to his body, along with a white vest and blazer with a black outline on the lapel notch. 

A black bowtie hangs around his neck, nice and loose and untied, and black fitted pants cover his legs. JJ loved it. “So, do we have a winner?” Drew asks upon entering the room with JJ’s permission, gasping at the sight. “Oh my, you look so handsome.”

“Yeah..” breathes JJ, smiling at himself in the mirror. “We do.”

After paying for the suit, Drew treats JJ to some frozen yoghurt. He piles on as many toppings as possible, eating away and wincing when a sudden surge of brain freeze hits him. “Ow, shit.” he mutters, pressing his thumb up against the roof of his mouth like Drew shows him to. “Brainfreeze fucking hurts.”

Laughing, Drew shakes her head. “This may make you uncomfortable, so don’t answer if you don’t want to, but.. Have you managed to talk to Pope yet?”

JJ sighs softly, shrugging. “No.. I don't really know what to say. I’ve said all that I’ve needed to say, I don’t know what else I can do to try and change his mind.”

“I’m sorry, love.” Whispers Drew, smiling sadly. “I know you really love him.”

“Yeah.” Croaks JJ, clearing his throat. “I do.”

******

The next day, JJ finds himself standing in front of the mirror in his room, struggling between whether or not to wear the bowtie, his hair partly tied back. He hated them with a passion, the tightness around his throat, but whenever Drew tied it for him, it was perfectly loose and still looked nice. JJ shakes out his hands. He hadn’t been able to have anything around his throat, not even a necklace or bandana, since what happened and he felt ready to take that next step.

“Hey baby.” Drew says from the doorway, smiling warmly, proudly. “You look so handsome.”

JJ looks down at himself with a small smile, giving a bow and a laugh. “Thanks, ma.” He replies, holding out the bowtie to her. “Can you?”

Drew nods, stepping forward and taking the material into her hands. “Let me know if you want it off, okay? Don’t force yourself to wear this.”

“I know, I want to.” JJ assures. 

He felt nervous, having the soft material around his neck, but he knew he was ready for this. He knew he was ready to stop being so afraid, for all it was was a piece of cloth, nothing more, nothing less. It couldn’t hurt him. Nothing could hurt him anymore. Only if he let it.

Patting his shoulders, Drew smiles at him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “There you go, my love. John B is down the hall waiting for you.”

“Thank you.” 

JJ leads the way down the hall into the living room, smiling softly at the other male and enveloping in a short hug, progress, before pulling away. “Hey, man.” John B greets. “Are you ready to go?”

JJ nods. “Yeah.”

“Nuh uh.” Drew says, pulling out her phone. “Not until I’ve gotten my pictures.”

Laughing softly, the two boys cuddle together, JJ’s head leaning on John B’s shoulder. He had missed this. He had missed being able to talk with John B, missed being able to hug him. He wasn’t ready for something longer than a few seconds, but it still felt good having John B beside him, arm around his waist. 

Entering the overly crowded hall felt strange. JJ never thought he would live long enough to go to his own prom. He always thought he’d end up dying in a pool of his own blood, in the childhood home he was meant to feel safe in, the last thing he felt was fear. But here he was, alive and well and moving forward through his trauma. 

Sarah comes running over with a large grin on her face, throwing her arms around John B’s shoulders and laughing as he spins her around. JJ rolls his eyes, chuckling. Of course. He should’ve known John B would’ve taken a stand and asked Sarah to be his date. He had been pining over her for years, and finally he had let go of Kiara’s judgement and had gotten with her. “Feeling like a third wheel here.” JJ jokes, bumping shoulders with John B.

“I’m sure you can find a guy to dance with you,” says Sarah, pearing her eyes over the crowd. “See anyone you like?”

Gazing around, JJ’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach as soon as his eyes fall on Pope, smiling and dancing with a girl, the fluorescent lights making his eyes shine beautifully. A black tuxedo covers his strong frame, rather tight over the muscles of his arms, the same strong, yet gentle arms that would hold onto JJ in the night, so warm and so safe. There’s that smile again on Pope’s lips, the smile JJ always thought was only there for him. How was he so okay? Had he already moved on? 

JJ shakes his head, bowing his eyes to the floor, biting the inside of his cheek. “No.” He whispers, clearing his throat. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

Patting John B’s shoulder, JJ weaves his way through the crowd, pulling on the bowtie around his neck. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

From his seat at one of the many tables set around the hall, JJ had the perfect line of sight to Pope dancing the same way he had with JJ that first night, so free yet still his awkward, shy self. His hands are placed on the girls waist, their faces mere inches apart, the sight alone making JJ’s heart ache with urnest. Why did she get to have what he wanted? Why did she get to have Pope? Why did kooks always get what they wanted?

Scrubbing his hands down his face, JJ sighs. He never should have come. So what if it was a once in a lifetime opportunity? JJ could care less. The only thing he wanted, he couldn’t have, so why should he have to suffer through watching Pope dance with some random girl when he wanted to be her? It wasn’t fair.

Turning his gaze away, JJ shivers at the sight of Kiara staring right at him, as though she wanted to go over to him and talk. He turns away once more. He didn’t need anymore of her shit. “JJ!” John B’s voice shouts over the loud music, dragging a laughing Sarah behind him. “You have to come dance with us, man!”

Shaking his head, JJ pulls on a smile. “Nah, I’m good.”

John B pouts. “C’mon, man, we’re graduating soon. Live a little!”

Dragging out a sigh, JJ gives in, taking hold of John B’s outstretched hand and shouting as he is tugged onto the dancefloor, John B and Sarah’s bodies protecting him from any unwanted hands or grinding bodies. JJ smiles slightly, and allows the music to overtake his body, pushing away every thought of Pope and that girl. He cared. Of course he did, but that didn’t mean Pope had to know. 

JJ bounces along to the beat of the music, a grin on his lips and a thin layer of sweat covering his skin. He hadn’t felt this free in a very long time. 

"Yo, I gotta go pee," JJ shouts over the deafening music, elbowing John B gently to grasp the other males attention. "I'll be right back."

Nodding, John B pauses his dancing, grabbing JJ's wrist and getting him to turn around. "Want me to come with you?"

JJ shakes his head, pulling on a smile. "I'll be fine. I'll meet up with you both in a bit."

"Okay."

Drifting through the crowd, feeling slightly claustrophobic, JJ all but runs towards the bathrooms, bursting through the door and sucking in a deep breath. He leans himself over one of the sinks, clutching onto either side of it tightly, inhaling and exhaling, heart racing and throat burning. The doors open once more, and JJ's heart skipped a beat. Fucking great.

He turns around, only to find Topper standing behind him, his eyes unreading. "What do you want?" JJ tries to sound confident, but he is petrified. 

Topper doesn't respond, and stalks forward, each step taken towards him JJ taking one back. Topper forces him against the bathroom wall, slamming JJ's wrists on either side of his head and forcing their lips together roughly. "Topper-" JJ sobs between their lips, struggling against the hold on his wrists, panic rising through his chest. Topper's lips are insistent against his, his nails digging into the skin of JJ's wrists to the point he can almost feel the blood flowing down his skin, wincing painfully.

This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. JJ didn't want this. JJ didn't want this to be a part of his night of trying to get back together with Pope. JJ wanted to run.  

"Hey, get off him!" Yells an overly familiar voice. They grasp hold of the collar of Topper's shirt and hawl him across the room, whacking into one of the cubicle doors and falling to the floor. JJ gasps in a breath, sliding down the wall and hugging his knees to his chest, crying quietly. His heart was racing, throat closing up at the intensity of his panic and the sobs flowing through his lips. It all comes rushing back. The pain, the anguish, the hand around his throat and forcing him down against the couch. "JJ, hey, hey, hey, it's okay." The voice says again, dropping to their knees and cupping their hands to his cheeks, getting him to look into their eyes. "You're okay, you're safe, I'm here."

Looking up into the other person's eyes, JJ only cries harder, throwing his arms around their shoulders and pulling them close. "Pope," Sobs JJ, gasping and wailing, clutching on tight to Pope's shirt. "I can't- I can't bre-breathe."

"It's okay, it's okay, JJ. Just look at me, yeah? Can you do that?"

Choking in breaths, JJ nods, forcing himself to pull away and look at Pope once more through blurry eyes, coughing and heaving. Pope cups his hands to JJ's cheeks, thumbing away the tears and resting their foreheads together gently. "Follow me, okay? Follow my breathing." Pope takes in a deep breath, counting softly, 1,2,3,4, and holds before exhaling, 1,2,3,4.

JJ tries as best as he can to follow Pope's lead, chest and lungs stuttering, and Pope is more than kind, whispering that JJ was doing a good job and places one of his hands over Pope's slowly beating heart to further calm him down. It seems to do the trick, slowly but surely, for in a matter of minutes, JJ finds himself breathing deeply and easily, the lump removing itself from his throat and the hold he had on Pope's chest loosening just the slightest. 

"There we go." Pope whispers, not moving away just yet, caressing his thumbs soothingly against JJ's cheeks. "Good job. Everythings okay. Now, as for you." Turning away from JJ, Pope stands to his feet and stalks over to Topper's figure seated on the floor, watching the whole ordeal with wide eyes. "Get the fuck out. Don't you dare touch JJ again, You hear me?" 

Pope grabs hold of Topper's arm and rips him out of the bathroom, shoving him to the floor and slamming the door in his face. JJ watches him with shock in his eyes, slightly afraid of Pope's unusual anger, and huddles further against the wall. Pope seems to sense the change in atmosphere and slowly lowers himself back down on his knees, crawling towards JJ with his hands out for him to see. "It's okay, I'm sorry you had to see me like that, JJ. It's okay." Breathes Pope, reaching his hands out and waiting for JJ to decide whether or not he wanted to hold them.

He does, and interlocks their fingers with a shaky breath, smiling small. "It's okay." He croaks. "Thank you.. I.. I don't know what happened but I just.. froze."

Pope nods. "There's no need to thank me. I'm always here to protect you, even from afar."

A silence falls between them as JJ calms himself down, struggling to figure out what to say. Nothing seems to be coming to mind. And when Pope pulls him back to his feet and walks him back to the dance, JJ tries to say something, tries to tell Pope how he feels, but Pope cuts him off. "Are you okay from here?"

Blinking, JJ nods. "Yeah, thanks."

Smiling, Pope gives JJ a short nod before heading towards the doors. JJ's voice gets the better of him, however, and finds himself stuttering out Pope's name, his heart racing. 

Pope pauses in his steps, and turns around, smiling in confusion. "Yeah?"

"Uh.. nevermind." Whispers JJ, clearing his throat. "I.. I just wanted to thank you, again."

"It's okay." Voices Pope. "I'll see you around JJ."

With sad eyes, does JJ watch Pope disappear behind the halls doors, his heart leaping into the back of his throat. I'm a fucking idiot.

He enters the room himself after a few moments, weaving his way through the crowd and over to where John B and Sarah were dancing, their smiles widening at seeing him. "What took you so long?" John B asks.

"I just bumped into someone." JJ says, smiling. "Sorry."

“Sorry to interrupt, but it is now time to announce prom king and queen!” The principal's voice bellows through the air, the music coming to a stop and all eyes turning towards the stage. Pulling open the envelope held in her hand, the principal reads over the names with a smile. “Prom king and queen are.. Pope Heyward and Florence Matthews!”

JJ’s eyes blow wide at the sound, those same eyes falling sad as he watches Pope interlock his hand with the girl beside him and hops up the stairs, grinning. The plastic crowns are placed over their heads whilst the rest of the hall cheer and clap, JJ’s teeth digging into the inside of his cheek. 

“If you feel comfortable to do so, you may share a kiss before coming to the center of the hall and sharing a dance.”

Pope turns to kiss the girl beside him, a bright smile painted on his lips that used to be reserved for JJ and JJ alone, that forces something deep within JJ that he can no longer seem to hold himself back from an outburst. "Pope, wait!" Shouts JJ, stunning the crowd to perfect silence and forcing all eyes to fall on him. "I.."

He can't seem to speak all of a sudden, his heart racing, pounding against his chest and making it harder to breathe. Pope is looking right at him, confusion written across his face, head tilted and eyes waverly. Sucking in a deep breath, JJ forces himself to speak. "I.. I don't really know what to say or how to say it, but I.. I need to cause.."

Cutting JJ off, Kiara places a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to face her. "JJ, what are you doing?"

Shrugging her hand off, JJ smiles tiredly. "I'm telling the truth. For once in my goddamn life. I'm gonna do the right thing for myself." Says JJ, his voice echoing loudly throughout the silent hall. All eyes were on him, pointing and whispering, but JJ could care less. He had to do this. Even if it doesn't go the way he wants it to, he has to do this. For himself, for Pope. JJ had to be honest. "I'm honestly not okay right now with how we left things. And the thought of you being somebody else's someday.. I just.."

Furrowing his brows, Pope walks over to the microphone. "What are you trying to say, JJ?"

JJ sucks in a deep breath, shaking out his hands anxiously. "I wasn't going to tell you this, because I didn't think I deserved any ounce of happiness. But you know what? Fuck it." Smiling through the burning tears, JJ throws his hands in the air. "I'm hooked on you, Pope. I fucking fell for you so hard, even when I said I never would, I did. You.. you do something to me. I've never been around someone like you. You've made me into a better person, you've helped me through so many things and never expected me to repay you. I just.. I think.. I think you could be someone I could love.. Someone I do love.. I’m in love with you, Pope. And I don’t care what anyone else has to say, I’d choose you any day, every time. I would always choose you.”

The room stays silent for a few moments, all eyes falling on Pope, watching, waiting for him to say something. JJ's heart was in the back of his throat, hands shaking, tears filling his eyes, for Pope was the only guy he had met in his entire life that made him act like a cheesy character in a romance movie. Who made him want to confess so openly, so deeply, his heart on his sleeve, no matter how many times JJ told himself he would never do such ridiculous things. For back then, JJ refused to believe in love. All love to him was something that caused pain. But then there was Pope. Sweet, charming, awkward Pope who brung out a side of JJ that he never knew would ever come out. Never in his life had JJ wanted someone so bad as he did right now.

"Fuck it," Pope voices suddenly.

Looking up, JJ watches through blurry eyes as Pope rips the crown from his head and throws it to the stage floor, racing down the steps at a fast pace. The people around JJ move to the sides, allowing Pope full access to the blonde boy he had fallen helplessly for.

Grabbing JJ by the waist, Pope pulls him in so softly, so fast and full of desperation, their lips falling together roughly. JJ smiles against Pope's lips, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer, unable to pull away no matter how deeply his lungs burn for air. He couldn't. Pope is the first one to pull away, cupping his hands to JJ's cheeks and smiling so fondly at JJ, caressing his skin, that JJ feels his knees buckle slightly.

"Are we doing this?" Pope asks, so soft, so sweet, his head tilted cutely, shyly.

Grinning like an absolute idiot, JJ interlocks their fingers, laughing as Pope pulls him in and slams their lips together once more. "Fuck yeah."

A slow song begins to play, and JJ pulls Pope closer to him if that were even possible, resting their foreheads together as they sway. “I love you.” He breathes, flicking his eyes up to meet Pope’s.

Pope smiles warmly, pressing the softest of kisses to JJ’s forehead. “And I love you.” Says Pope, bringing their foreheads back together. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

Giggling, JJ finds himself agreeing. Even if it were for just a few minutes, JJ would miss Pope. for Pope was his rock. His person. His everything. Who would’ve thought Pope would become more to JJ than just someone he fucked? 

Chapter Text

The water is calm and peaceful, barely rocking the boat from its placement in the water overlooking the sparkling stars in the navy blue sky. Hands are interlocked loosely, heads resting together, easy breaths fanning across one anothers face. Nestling closer to the warmth of Pope’s body, JJ sighs, barely able to keep his eyes open as Pope pulls him against his chest, lifting the blanket over his shoulders and pressing his lips to his forehead. 

“Remember that night we first met?” Pope breathes into the silence, cupping a hand to JJ’s cheek and caressing the smooth skin. 

Without even having to ask, does JJ know what Pope was talking about. “Yeah.” he hums. The thought has JJ smiling, a giggling falling from his tongue as their noses brush. 

Pope smiles down at him brightly, nuzzling their noses together until JJ is a laughing mess, kissing all over Pope’s face. “Did you ever think it would end up like this?”

JJ gives a simple shrug, thinking it over in a joking manner. “Mm.. No.”

Laughing, Pope rolls his eyes. "Are you glad it changed?"

"Mm.."

"JJ."

Giving another laugh, JJ nods, pressing kiss after kiss across Pope’s cheeks and nose, before resting their foreheads back together. “Of course I am.” JJ whispers, flicking his eyes up to catch Pope’s. “I just don’t want you to leave for college.”

Frowning at the pout on JJ’s lips, Pope kisses JJ’s forehead. “That isn’t for another few months. We still have plenty of time together. And plus, you’ll be at school too.”

“I guess.” JJ mumbles. “But I still don’t want you to go. I just got you back, I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Hey, you’re not going to lose me,” Pope assures him, holding him close. “We’re burned into each other’s dna. You won’t lose me again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Chewing his lower lip, JJ rolls Pope onto his back, straddling his waist and kissing his lips. He takes it slow, removing his shirt and Pope’s at a leisurely pace, grinning as Pope sits himself up, holding JJ close to his body in his lap. “Are you sure you want to?” Pope breathes between their lips, cupping JJ’s cheeks lovingly. “I know you don’t want to be treated like I’m walking on eggshells around you, but I just want to be sure.”

“Hey, I’m sure.” Whispers JJ, kissing Pope’s lips. “I want this. You make me feel safe. Wanted. So please.. Do this for me? Make love to me again?”

Pope smiles, and gives a nod, leaning up to kiss JJ’s lips. “Okay. Tell me if you want to stop, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will.”

After so long of having his intimacy broken, JJ was so fucking happy to be laying underneath Pope’s body once more, their lips locked and hands held together tightly, Pope’s hips thrusting slowly back and forth, their bodys moving together as one. For once in his life, JJ felt safe. Felt loved. And that’s all he’s ever truly wanted. To be loved by Pope.