Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The snow that coated the outside in a frigid cold was almost something to marvel at… or sulk at.

Especially when the heating of a shared apartment began to have spells of not doing its job. Therefore, leaving the two inhabitants to bundle up in as many blankets as they could.

But with the need for sustenance and nutrients, the fridge becoming bare after a shopping list was left abandoned on the kitchen counter for far too long, a trip to the market was needed.

So, as he slipped his ice-like toes into some too-thin black converse, he definitely grumbled and complained about it the whole way, he made sure to ask his roommate if there was anything else that they needed before he stepped out of the door.

“Fruit!” he paused, waiting for the signature yell of acknowledgement and sighing exasperatedly when none came.

He sat up off of the couch, readjusting his untamed tuffs of dark hickory hair, and walked down the hallway, tapping his knuckles gently on his roommate’s door. A half-hearted hum came from inside and the brunet opened the door.

Fruit was sat at his computer, the white screen before him reflecting off of his face and making him look a ghostly white, aside from his lightly freckled cheeks and rosy, red lips that were caged between his teeth as he gnawed on them subconsciously.

Hazel eyes, that occasionally bloomed with drops of honey, briefly met swirling fudge ones before flicking back to the computer screen that he was definitely sitting too close to.

“What’s up?” the brunet shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

“Was gonna head to the store, is there anything that you need or want? I might get food also, probably McDonalds or something.” The other perked up at the mention of food, eyes catching onto the man in the doorway’s once more.

“Can I come? I’m really in the mood for a McChicken right now. Maybe some fries also.” The man said, some chestnut hair falling down to rest on his nose. It took a few moments for the other to respond, but he shrugged anyway, peeling his eyes away from the hopeful smile of the other.

“Sure, but you might freeze your ass off, so put something other then a long-sleeve on.” He half-hazardly flicked a finger up and down at the other, motioning to his choice of clothing. “And sit back from the computer screen, idiot!” he laughed out. Fruit joined in after falling backwards in his chair and away from the computer screen.

“Okay, mom.” The other whined out, rolling his eyes in a playful manner as a smirk made his way onto his face. The other crossed his arms and raised his voice a couple of octaves.

“Listen here sonny-boy! If this room isn’t picked up—” he was cut off by his own laughter as they both fell into matching fits of giggles.

The room was then dipped into honeysuckle as they both cracked their eyes open. Hazel and a deep chocolate brown meet in a clash of sweet and savory. Sweetness of the multitudes of platonic love that they hold for each other, and the savoring of what they have. Maybe some of what could be.

“Alright, alright, if you aren’t ready in 15 minutes, then I’m leaving without you.” The shorter brunet said, grabbing the door handle and shutting it with a sly smile.

“Illumina!” came as a muffled shout from behind a closed door. Said man let out a small laugh as he walked back into the living room.

The Canadian cold brushed harshly against his apple-red nose. It was a short walk from his parked car to the entrance to the supermarket, but it was still enough to let the bitter chill seep into his very being.

He watched as a car slow rolled out of a parking spot, watching as the scarlet taillights glowed the fiery red, lighting up all the falling snow around it. It was mesmerizing watching the beautiful snow falling gently to the tar and asphalt below. How something so peaceful looking and fragile can drift through the air, untouched, unjudged, and simply floating. He felt a pang in his heart.

Then he was ripped out of his headspace by a tug on his arm, yanking him back and out of the way of a car that failed to yield to them. He glanced back to see Fruit.

Graceful, worried, and ever-so-helpful, Fruit. A scarf wrapped delicately around his pale, untouched neck, covering the hem of his sage-green sweatshirt. A simple pair of black jeans were cuffed up to the tops of his white converse. In Illumina’s opinion, Fruit would look very nice if he wasn’t glaring at him.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” Fruit said, releasing Illumina’s arm after a beat and they continued walking. “I don’t want to scrape up an Illumina pancake off of the road.”

The slightly shorter brunet let out a laugh at that, shoving his hands back into his pockets of his winter jacket. “But I think I’d make an amazing pancake!” he rebutted, ivory canines peeking through a crack in strawberry lips that pointed slightly upwards. Fruit glared at him in joking annoyance.

“You are a menace.” He said, but a traitorous smile revealed his true feelings.

“But you love me.”

And hazel eyes may have locked onto fudge ones for a bit too long. And maybe the sudden urge to grab pale, skilled fingers suddenly hit the slightly taller way too hard. And maybe the silence went on a couple seconds to long.

“Unfortunately.” Fruit breathed out, a playful smile on his face as he elbowed Illumina’s side. They stepped into the store with matching smiles.

The shopping trip went by fairly smoothly.

If you didn’t count Fruit almost crashing the cart into a flailing child that happened to run into the isle at full speed.

Or when Illumina accidentally smacked Fruit in the head with a tube of cookie dough, effectively making Illumina break into laughter as Fruit cradled his left eye and pouted. (Only after he made sure that Fruit was okay, he wasn’t that mean.)

Now they were sat on the couch, the rest of the groceries were stored away, and the same tube of cookie dough was held in Illumina’s hand. Both boys had spoons and took turns scooping out chunks of the delicious sugary delight that had chocolate chips littered without.

“Look, they are the same color as my eyes.” Illumina commented, bringing a chocolate chip up to in front of his eye. Fruit snorted.

“Yea, but these taste better than you.” Illumina immediately paused, bringing to chip down and staring at Fruit.

It took the other a solid 10 seconds to realize what he said when Illumina had begun to cover his mouth to semi-hide his laughter.

“Wait- not- not like that- Illumina! I didn’t—” his futile attempts to defend himself were cut off by Illumina’s boisterous cackling. Fruit stared at the brown-eyed male for a moment before beginning to join in.

His face was flushed a light scarlet and his hands came up to snatch the tube of cookie dough from the other’s hands, grumbling about Illumina’s dirty mind. Even though he knew full well what he said could be taken in the sexual route. If only he realized before he said it.

After Illumina calmed down, he went to go for another spoonful of cookie dough, but it was pulled away from his reach by Fruit.

“Fruit! Share, you asshole!” he laughed out, scooting closer to try and reach, but it was once again pulled farther away from him. He let out a gasp and looked down at Fruit.

Hazel and honey eyes sparkled with a dangerous spark of determination. Illumina’s own mouth quirked up into a smirk. A silent message passed through each other. Oh, it is on.

Instantly Illumina shoved a hand into Fruit’s face, and he brought his legs onto the couch, launching himself towards Fruit’s right hand. The hand that held their prized possession.

[Shortly after becoming roommates, they had both realized their shared love for cookie dough and whenever they had time to spare (and money) they would sit on the couch, or in one of their bedrooms and share a thing of cookie dough. It was sacred for both of them. Time away from the computer screen and disconnecting from everyone and thing else. Their only focus on the cookie dough, and in turn, each other. Illumina preferred the latter the most though… in a platonic way of course.]

As soon as Illumina lunged for Fruit’s right hand, a hand was pushed into his chest and he was shoved down into the cushions. He laughed and gripped his spoon, then started repeatedly jamming it into Fruit’s hand. With a ‘Hey!’ Fruit released the other brunet in favor of pulling his hand into his chest.

Given the extra space Illumina slammed his body into the other, using both hands to try and grab the tube. With the extra weight added to his side, Fruit let out an oomph and fell into the arm of the couch. He was enveloped in warmth as Illumina pressed his weight onto him.

“Just give me the damn cookie dough!” Illumina yelled out, looking at the boy beneath him.

“No!” Fruit laughed out, picking up his legs to his chest and twisting to face Illumina, trying to push him off with his knees.

Fruit giggled as his legs were pulled apart and pushed to the side. Illumina was still trying to grab the cookie dough and yelling in victory when the plastic pressed against the palm of his hand.

He pulled back and looked down at Fruit. He was red-faced and giggling, hands pulled to his chest and legs spread. Illumina was sat between them, a smile still on his face from his victory of achieving the delicious treat. His face was a shade of scarlet, from wrestling and seeing the position Fruit was in.

Eventually hazel eyes gazed up into brown and a smirk creeped up onto his features. Illumina’s eyes narrowed.

“I swear if you say anything stupid—”

“I like you better in this position.” Fruit cut him off, smirk widening as Illumina’s jaw fell slack. The shorter brunet’s face heated up more and he brought his hands up to cover his face, the room-temperature cookie dough pressed to his warm cheeks.

“You are so dirty. So dirty!” he said, albeit a bit muffled. Fruit fell into giggles once more, head leaning back and a hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“Shut up!” Illumina whined, falling back to sit on his ass. Fruit sat up and put on a fake pout back.

“What? Little Lumina is flustered, hmm?” Fruit laughed out and watched for his roommate’s reaction. Only to be met with a false glare and the other scooping out a spoonful of the dough and shoving it into his face.

“Take this and shut up.” He laughed at Fruit’s eyeroll as he took the spoon from his hands.

“I know something else of yours I can take to shut me up.” He winked. Fucking winked.

“Oh my gosh! Fruit! Stop it you literal menace!” Illumina’s gasped, shoving the other boy back into the couch and letting out a giggle.

His cheeks hurt from smiling, but he couldn’t stop, not with Fruit there and Fruit’s breathy laughing that had spiked up again. With Fruit’s beautiful eyes locked into his.

“But you love me, Lumi.” Fruit said, falling back from his hysterics and his wonderful gaze was now on Illumina’s beautifully flushed face.

“Fortunately for you, I do.” He said and then puts another spoonful of cookie dough into his mouth.

“Awwww, he loves meeee.” Fruit drawled out happily, if Illumina hadn’t been here as they fell into hysterical laughter, he would’ve guessed that Fruit was high.

“You’re such an idiot, Fruit.” Illumina said, rolling his eyes and watching as Fruit sat up and scooped another chunk of cookie dough into his mouth.

The rest of the night was full of laughter and playful jokes as the sun fell beneath the horizon, stars peeking out in a dazzling chandelier of a sky.

They were now sitting in Illumina’s room on his bed and doing random things on their phone.

Fruit was laid against Illumina’s pillows and said man was sat up against the wall.

Fruit glanced up from his scrolling through social media at Illumina. The man had the tip of his tongue peeking through pretty strawberry lips. Fruit may have stared a bit too long. He may have had their previous actions on the couch run through his head again. He may have let his mind wander a bit deeper than it was supposed to go. He may have not heard Illumina call his name because he was thinking about other things that Illumina would call out when—

“Fruit?” Hazel eyes snapped up to meet Illumina’s soft ones. “You okay over there?”

“Hm? Yeah, I’m good. Just letting my mind go, you know?” Illumina nodded, but his eyes never left the other’s.

“What?” Fruit asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. Illumina smiled and Fruit’s eyes seemed to betray him as they traveled downwards, watching as slightly chapped lips twisted upwards into a grin. The strawberry tint gleamed in the soft yellow glow of the lamp light of Illumina’s bedside table.

“I’m really hungry.” Fruit blinked and then his own cherry lips fell into a frown.

“We just ate a full thing of cookie dough.” Fruit deadpanned, watching as Illumina groaned and fell face-first into the mattress next to Fruit’s legs.

“Fruuuuuuit.” The male drawled out. “I want Taco Bell.” He whined. Fruit couldn’t help but smile fondly at his roommate.

“Then go get Taco Bell!” he said, gaze turning back to his phone. Illumina was like a child; pay them no mind and they get antsy.

“But… I want you to come wif meee.” He said, turning to the side and scooting closer to Fruit, beginning to trace small shapes into his thighs.

Fruit’s mind and body buzzed.

It wasn’t unusual for Illumina to draw shapes into Fruit. The whole time they had been roommates Illumina had always been into physical touch. At random intervals Illumina would start to trace Fruit’s arms or back or shoulders absentmindedly.

But it got him every time. Making him burn in all the right ways. His face heated up as he watched Illumina’s skilled and pale fingers trail over the seams in his jeans.

“You sound like a child.” Fruit finally responded. Illumina picked his head up and looked at him, feigning anger.

“Please.” he said, eyebrows furrowing together as his hand movements slowed, fingers ghosting over his thighs. Fruit almost suppressed a full body shiver, but a small tremor made it’s way through and Illumina didn’t let it go unnoticed, a smirk forming on his face.

“Fruit? Go with me to Taco Bell?” Illumina asked, voice dropping a few octaves. Fruit’s eyes drifted back to Illumina’s.

“Okay, fine.” Fruit said quietly. It was definitely meant to come out a lot sharper, but his voice came out weaker due to the same ghosting fingers that traveled closer to the mattress—and his ass.

Illumina yelled out in victory, immediately getting up and running to, presumably, get his shoes. Fruit groaned and sat up as well, his thigh still burning because of slim fingers that couldn’t leave his mind. Screw Illumina.

He swung his legs over the bed and squealed when the door was slammed open, and a pair of shoes were thrown at him. Illumina laughed, one shoe already on and the other in his hand.

“Hurry up you numbskull.” Illumina said, sitting next to Fruit on the bed and slipping his other shoe on. The latter smacked him over the back of the head. “Ow, that was very unnecessary.” Illumina said matter-of-factly and Fruit let out a small giggle.

Fruit got his shoes on and they both headed down the elevator of their apartment and slipped into Illumina’s car once again.

“You are so ridiculous.” Fruit said as he shut the passenger door.

“And you still love me.” Illumina said in a sing-songy voice, turning to look at Fruit with a smile on his face. The car was dark aside from the miniscule amount of light from the buttons on the dashboard and the lights coming from the apartment complex before them.

“Yeah, yeah, lets go get some Taco Bell.”

Chapter Text

“Oh my god, I love Taco Bell so fucking much, Fruit. You have no idea.” Illumina said from the passenger seat. He was spread out across the black leather, head dipped back against the divot of the head pillow and back cushions.

The Canadians had switched seats after going through the drive-thru of Taco Bell and were now sitting at a red light.

Fruit liked nights like these. The sun was gone, the road was mostly empty exempt from a few cars dotting the roadways. And best of all, Illumina was sat next to him.

Inside the enclosed space of Illumina’s car, the radio was on—neither boys were really paying attention, too enveloped in each other’s presence (and Taco Bell)—and they had spiked up random conversations, bouncing off of each other as they usually do.

Fruit silently enjoyed the fact that any time he wanted he could reach over and touch Illumina. Not in the weird way, it was just nice to be within arm’s reach of your best friend.

Though repressing the urge to reach over and lay a hand on his thigh was a little less than pleasant.

“I’m sure I have at least half of a clue.” Fruit smiled, turning to look at the other. The scarlet light reflected off of the dashboard and showering them in all it’s fiery glory. “You practically begged me to come with you.”

Illumina rolled his eyes, a playful smirk on his strawberry lips. Said man was holding a semi-eaten Dorito-shelled taco in his right hand and the other resting on the center consol.

Now, usually his hand placement would be perfectly fine. But, as Fruit’s eyes traveled down the other man’s cheeks, jaw, and neck, all the way down to his well-taken-care-of fingers, he quickly realized a growing problem. Illumina’s hands were beautiful.

His knuckles weren’t too wide or out of place, they were sculpted perfectly. The fingers themselves were long—but not too long—and they weren’t too thin or too thick. Plus, nails that were manicured to perfection.

Fruit caught himself staring before Illumina must’ve because he snapped himself out of his trance quickly; clearing his throat and averting his eyes to look out his window.

Again, it is usually not a problem in the slightest, but, in the close atmosphere of the car, Fruit found himself unable to stop himself from falling down a rabbit hole of wine-red thoughts that brought a scarlet tint to his cheeks and his hands grip the steering wheel a bit harder than needed.

All of this over his friend’s hands. His hands! Fuck him, dude.

The new green glow that lit up his vision made him snap back into reality, foot pressing onto the gas.

In his peripherals he watched as Illumina happily munched on his taco, letting out a gleeful hum after or during every bite. Then he suddenly jolted in his seat, sitting up as if he remembered something. Fruit cocked an eyebrow and glanced to the other.

“What?”

“We should totally smoke tonight.” Illumina said proudly, twisting his full body to face Fruit. The younger frowned.

“I have work to do tomorrow, and I have to finish my editing for a video.” Illumina hummed in acknowledgement, sitting back in his seat and bringing a hand to rest on his chin. The tip of his tongue stuck out through his lips.

“How about this weekend?” Illumina suggested, “Friday or Saturday night.” Swirling chocolate eyes were still held onto Fruit’s side profile. The slightly taller was silent for a moment, thinking it over in his head.

“Yeah, sure.” Hazel eyes met wide brown ones, and, in the moment, it felt like it was a battle that lasted for hours until Illumina broke, gaze drifting to the road. “Why not?” Illumina looked ecstatic, a large grin on his face that he definitely tried to hide, but even in his peripherals, he could see how happy the man was.

Whether it was about smoking or hanging out with Fruit or even just the fact that Fruit had agreed, he didn’t know; yet it was still good to see him happy.

The light ahead of them turned yellow and Fruit slowed down a bit. As they neared the cross section it turned red, and Fruit rolled to a stop.

“Oh, c’mon, you totally could’ve made that.” Illumina laughed, lolling his head to the side to look at Fruit. The latter sighed and looked over; hazel eyes half-lidded in a look that made Illumina’s head... wander for a slight moment.

“Oh, I’m sorry Mr. Speedrunner.” Fruit said lazily, a stupid half-smirk on his cherry lips. Illumina stared for a moment.

Just the way that chestnut hair fell over his forehead and rested on his nose. The way that the look in his eyes could mean so, so much more than what’s on the surface. The way that Illumina’s heart sped up with the eye contact that dragged on. It made Illumina’s chest tighten as he put on a playful sneer.

“You speedrun too you idiot.” He said, and Fruit cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Not in real life, idiot.” He responded, the smirk on his face growing into what could be a lazy smile. Illumina laughed at that.

“What? How? I just made an observation!” he said, trying to retrieve himself from the pit he found himself digging. But secretly he wanted to see how far he could dig… Sue him.

“Right, buddy, right.” Fruit laughed out, turning his head back to the light, Illumina following his gaze. They were almost home by now, but some part of Illumina wanted this to last forever. Fruit turned right and the apartment complex came into view.

“I am so excited to eat my nachos.” Fruit mumbled, a beauteous smile gracing his lips as he laid his elbow on the center consol.

Illumina smirked to himself as he started to run a finger around on pale skin, admiring the way that Fruit’s fingers twitched.

He slowly spent his time dragging his fingers across clothed and unclothed skin, he would occasionally glance up to look at Fruit’s facial expressions— every now and again Illumina dragged a manicured nail across soft skin, earning him the bigger shivers from the other— he loved to watch Fruit bite his lips (… in the “homie” way of course.)

Eventually Illumina stopped his motions as the pulled into the parking spot that they had been in previously, but he did let his hand rest on the other’s as he grabbed the bag of Taco Bell. Fruit didn’t move until Illumina’s hand did, moving to grab their drinks and open his door.

They walk up to the elevator and step inside, Illumina pressing their floor and the doors closed. It was silent for a few moments, only the soft elevator music and their breathing.

“Dude, that smell is intoxicating.” Fruit said, a laugh playing on his lips as he looked to the bag in Illumina’s hand.

“I know right? It’s driving me crazy.” He said, holding the bag up higher. Currently it had Fruit’s nachos and 2 other tacos, plus Fruit’s burrito to go with his nachos.

Then he looked to his drink in Fruit’s hand.

“Lemme have a sip of my drink.” Illumina said, scooting closer to the other. Fruit held up his drink, holding it for Illumina to grab it, but the brunet just put his mouth on the straw and took a sip, pulling away after a moment. Fruit giggled at his friend’s antics, moving the drink back down to his side and taking a sip of his own.

The elevator dinged and they both headed to their apartment, unlocking it and slipping inside.

“Yay! Food time!” Fruit shouted, setting their drinks on the coffee table and flopping onto the couch, Illumina following.

They both took out their own food respectively and sat in silence, the only sound being their munching and crunching.

“Oh my god, this is so fucking good.” Fruit mumbled, eyes rolling to the back of his head and leaning back, holding his nachos close to his chest.

Illumina fumbled over his words at first before managing to choke out an “I told you so!” and taking another bite out of his own taco.

“Lemme have a bite.” the brunet quipped, looking to the other with wide, hopeful eyes, though they occasionally glanced to the cheesy delight in Fruit’s delicate hands.

“Here,” the chestnut brown said, holding a forkful out to the other, the latter taking it gratefully as his taco was snatched from him. “and I’m having a bite of yours.” Illumina watched as Fruit took a bite out of his taco and feigned anger as he took the nachos into his mouth. His brown eyes were narrowed slightly at Fruit and the other began to laugh.

“What!?” he asked with his mouth full, trying not to choke on the bits of taco still in his mouth. Illumina suppressed a laugh, covering his mouth, still trying to chew his food while Fruit cackled.

“I didn’t wanna share with you!” Illumina pouted and Fruit made an affronted noise, eyes going wide and eyebrows furrowing. Illumina fell into laughter once again, Fruit making angry half-sentences and trying to explain until finally he just stuck a finger in Illumina’s face.

“Sharing is caring!” This made Illumina begin to lose his composure, his laughs ringing out across the apartment. Fruit stared at the man’s absolute beauty before falling into hysterics right along with him.  

The duo laughed and laughed, Fruit falling forward into Illumina’s chest, shoulders racked with gasping breaths and even more laughter. Illumina put his face into Fruit’s hair, his eyes bolted shut and tears leaking out.

The room was decorated in a magnificent marigold as both of their laughs coated the walls, reverberating them back into the air once again. Even in the dark night, their bright smiles practically lit up the Earth. The atmosphere dripping with honey and sweetness.

They held each other as they started to calm down. Illumina inhaling the scent of mint and honey in the other's chestnut locks. It matched Fruit perfectly.

The cool, minty taste fit his attitude and voice perfectly—Fruit’s voice was a whole other subject that Illumina could talk about, how it drifted through the air and right into anyone’s awaiting ears, it was as soft as a pillow when he was calm, (or even when he laughed; it was like the Gods had descended upon them) and Illumina loved it.

The honey being the perfect mix of sweet and gracious, also fitting into the graceful yet ‘sticky’ personality that Fruit had. Sticky as in the type where wherever you go, everything just reminds you of Fruit; he sticks to your mind. (Or maybe it’s just Illumina…) The ‘sweetness’ is pretty self-explanatory.

The way that the slightly taller is hugged so close to Illumina’s chest makes his head spin. He tucks his head deeper into chestnut hair, letting out a few more giggles.

Illumina begins to slightly twirl his fingers where they rest on Fruit’s sides. Fruit had finally calmed down from his laughter and was now wiping the stray happy tears that formed in his eyes. Both boys faces had begun to retrieve their color back from their ruby red. Soft breaths came from below him as Fruit melted into his touch, hands coming to rest on Illumina’s knees.

“Oh god, it’s been forever since I’ve laughed that hard.” Fruit said, and Illumina could hear the smile in his voice.

“Same dude, holy shit.” Illumina breathed into his hair, relishing in the small giggle it earned from Fruit.

The Canadians sit in a comfortable silence together. Fruit resting snugly on Illumina’s chest while the latter’s head rested soundly in tuffs of wavy hair. Caring fingers drawing imaginary pictures into hips and the other set resting on the brunet’s knees.

It’s comfortable. Almost too comfortable for it to be real. Illumina’s fingers beg to just lift up the hem of Fruit’s sweatshirt and to just feel him, feel the shivers and squirms as he drags his fingers across pale, soft skin. Fruit would become a mess, a beautiful fucking mess, all because of him.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he just keeps ghosting shapes into Fruit’s hips through his sweater, holding him gently and showing all of the platonic love and support he can muster; without showing how much of that love is actually the opposite of platonic.

They sit there together, holding each other gently until Fruit’s breathing begins to shallow.

“Fruit? You okay?” Illumina asks, reluctantly removing his face from said boy’s hair to check on him.

“Hm? Oh, yeah…” Fruit stumbles over his words a tad bit before finally getting out “After I finish my nachos, can… can we just lay here?” The younger said, pulling back from Illumina’s chest slightly, but his hands stayed planted on Illumina’s knees. His green and gold eyes stayed hidden from view.

“Yeah, of course, anything you want Fruity B.” Illumina smiled and raised one hand to comb it through Fruit’s hair once before releasing him fully to let him finish eating his nachos and burrito.

Fruit seemed to let out a breath, sitting back, but still close enough for their legs to be touching as Fruit ate his nachos gleefully once again. Illumina hummed contently, grabbing his taco and shoving the little that was left into his mouth.

Once they were almost finished with their meal, Illumina turned to Fruit.

“Are you okay? Have you been feeling alright?” The male asked and Fruit felt his heart drop.

He knows, he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same—

“Usually, you only ask to be held if you are going through a rough time or when you’re sick,” Illumina reasoned, looking into Fruit’s eye. There was absolutely nothing but love and care in his big, brown irises. Fruit could almost cry as his heart climbed back into its usual spot. “I’m here to listen if you need to talk.”

“Uhm, I don’t really know…” It wasn’t a total lie, he didn’t know what was gong on with his body or mind, but he does know that one thing is for certain; Fruit was most definitely questioning his sexuality and he has no clue why. (Lies, he knows exactly why, and it just so happens to be the man sitting before him.)

“I think… I- I don’t know.” Fruit sighed, setting his nacho dish down and combing a hand through his hair. Illumina frowned.

“Hey man, it’s okay to not know exactly what’s going on up in that big ol’ noggin of yours.” Illumina said, offering him a small, caring smile. Fruit gave him one back before glancing back to their bag of trash on the table; they had eaten most of the food by now, Illumina was saving a taco for later and Fruit was saving his burrito.

“I think I’m done.” Fruit said quietly, looking back to Illumina. The man nodded and put his hands above his head and groaned as he stretched. Fruit definitely did not have to force himself to avert his eyes after he saw the bottom of the older’s shirt lift up enough to expose the top of his v-line. Nope, not him.

“Same here.” Illumina said and looked to Fruit. “Still up for some FruitNinja cuddles?” He giggled and opened his arms wide. Fruit looked up and a smile came to his face, next thing he knew he was leaning face-first into Illumina’s awaiting arms.

Instantly he was enveloped in warmth as Illumina wrapped his arms around him, bringing him in close and holding him like if he let go, Fruit would be gone forever. It took a second for Fruit to move, but eventually he moved his arms to wrap around Illumina as well.

“Do you wanna lay or stay?”

“Lay.”

“Side or on top?”

“Side.”

“Okie dokie!”

Illumina tugged them both down before twisting to the side so Fruit was sandwiched between the couch cushions and Illumina. Illumina laughed at the slightly shocked look on Fruit’s face before taking his right arm and tucking it under his head.

Fruit took this as his sign to scoot his head in closer, so he did, tucking it in the small divot under Illumina’s chin where he was partially supported by Illumina’s bicep as well.

He felt his heart rate spike at the close proximity that he literally just caused, but his mind turned to puddy as Illumina began to start tracing shapes along his spine. He decided that he has never felt safer in his life.

He let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in.

“There you go, Fruit, just relax, you’re okay. I’m right here. You’re okay.” Illumina said quietly, voice as smooth as honey as it seeped into Fruit’s pores. His bones became no more as he melted into Illumina. The other boy’s comforting and reassuring words reverberating through his mind and body as he hooked his ankles around one of Illumina’s.

His body burned.

His mind burned.

His ears vibrated as Illumina’s voice brushed against them.

“I don’t deserve you.” He whispered, as his hazel eyes fluttered shut.

“You deserve the world and more, Fruit.”

Chapter Text

Swirling fudge eyes drifted open as the sun peeked through the large window.

The smell of mint and honey oozed into his senses and he was not opposed to inhaling it once again, burying his nose into soft, caramel hair.

His body was warm, even as their apartment’s heating had been flickering in and out the past few months. Arms snaked around his midsection and a head cradled into his neck. He felt his roommate’s nose pressed against the space between his neck and shoulder and his own left hand was placed on the small of the other’s back.

He couldn’t move. He refused to move. Having Fruit curled up in his hold, was a blessing… and a curse. The blessing of his soul warming up to the heavens, right along with his face. And the curse of him wanting this more, namely without the restriction of not being able to press his lips to the other’s. (… in… in the homie way…?”)

Illumina stiffened.

Oh gosh. Oh no.

How come only now was Illumina struggling to see that almost every single one of his thoughts about Fruit was far, far from just “the homie way,” or the “platonic” way.

His #1 reasoning: He wants to kiss Fruit.

And not just a simple playful peck. He wants to kiss him.

He wants to taste those magnificent cherry lips.

He wanted to know the in’s and out’s of Fruit’s mouth in a dance of tongues that only he and Fruit would know.

He wanted to feel him. Feel the boy’s hands and warm body. All of the divots and blemishes. The good and the bad.

He wants to be so in deep that all he feels is the boy in his arms.

He never wants the smell of mint and honey to leave his senses. He never wants the warmth of the other to be replaced by endless cold.

He wants to be all Fruit feels. He wants Fruit to know that Illumina will never leave his side. That he will always be there for him, no matter any petty little fight, no matter the time, no matter if they absolutely hate each other.

Illumina can’t even imagine the thought of him leaving Fruit. It makes him sick to his stomach.

Illumina wishes that he could show Fruit, show him just how much he mans to him that isn’t just words.

Soft and gentle touches that would leave trails of goosebumps in their wake. Mulberry marks dotting pale skin. The gentle-yet-pleasurable joining of hips against bare skin. The soft and needy whispers, whines, and whimpers. A lustful look clouding over hazel eyes.

The man in his arms had begun to shift, pulling away from his hold slightly. Just now Illumina was reminded of who he was holding.

Fruit. Fruit was probably straight. This hold was nothing more than a platonic hold of friends. Because friends can hold each other close without catching feelings, right?

And Fruit was straight. Maybe, Illumina doesn’t want to assume, he could even be asexual or aromantic. He probably doesn’t even want Illumina back. He could be disgusted at the thought of even kissing a man.

Illumina came to terms with his sexuality a while ago. Bisexual with an equal preference for both men and women. It made his head spin at first and he was so afraid of himself, calling himself slurs in his head because he liked dick.

But he had great friends that helped him through and even offered to let him experiment. He was forever grateful that some of his guy friends were nice enough to do that. He was still friends with some of them to this day.

And now as he stares into hazel eyes, dully aware of the slight tightness in his pants, he lets his eyes wander slightly down to cherry lips that looked as soft as a pillow.

And internally he hated himself for it, cursing himself for being attracted to his best friend. Because he was far past the point of denying it. He had fallen for his best friend and roommate, and he probably doesn’t feel the same way.

His eyes flicked across freckled cheeks that had turned a slight shade of apple before going back to hazel. Only to find that they weren’t looking into his. Their gaze was trained just below his nose. His lips. Illumina’s breath hitched in his throat. Fruit was staring at him. His lips. Oh fuck. Say something.

“Do you want me to make breakfast?” he whispered, voice slightly hoarse and deep from the fact that he just woke up. Fruit’s eyes snapped up to meet his and Illumina smiled. Fruit seemed to debate it for a moment, head tipping to the side lazily while his eyes stayed locked onto Illumina’s before he nodded.

Fruit slowly unwrapped his arms from Illumina’s midsection, pulling them into his chest and pressing his back into the couch cushions. Illumina peeled himself away from the other, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and onto the cold floor. As he stood up he was reminded of his… problem. He cringed.

“I’m gonna take a shower and then make pancakes. Sound good?” He asked, looking back at Fruit from over his shoulder. Hazel eyes snapped up from raking over his body and internally Illumina melted. Fruit’s face flushed and he nodded once again.

Illumina smiled at him and walked to the bathroom.

As soon as he was inside, he shut the door and sat on the toilet, his head held in his hands.

Fruit’s flushed face was stuck in his mind. He is too cute for his own good. He cursed to himself as he peeked through the cracks in his fingers.

He lazily got up and turned the shower on, watching the water flow for a little, debating if he wanted to take care of himself or let the cold water of the shower singe his skin. He internally decided on the former.

He stripped off his clothes, sucking in a breath as the cold air of their apartment hit him at full force. He missed being in Fruit’s arms. He kept him warm.

The shower water was lukewarm when he stepped in. It instantly covered his back, neck, and shoulders. Shrouding him a bit of warmth.

His hand twitched and he let out a breath. He turned to lean his head against the wall, the coolness of the tiles against his forehead making him shiver.

He brought a hand down to slowly wrap his hands around himself. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he slowly dragged his hands up and down.

In an instant the image of Fruit’s eyes rolling back into his head flashed into his mind and he froze, snapping his eyes open. He let out a shaky breath. No way can he think about this right here, right now.

Yet here he is. Stroking himself as images of his best friend’s flushed face flashed through his mind.

“Fuck.” He whispered, continuing to move his hand once again.

His body burned as thoughts of Fruit below him flooded his mind until all he could think about was Fruit, Fruit, Fruit. His breathing became shallow and raggedy.

He could see pale, untouched skin that moved as a whole as they squirmed and shivered from his touch in dim lighting. He could feel the press of lips against his own. He could hear the whimpers and quiet moans of the other.

Would Fruit be quiet in bed? Or would he be loud? Maybe he’d try to hide his pretty little sounds by biting his lips or with the back of his hand. Turning a flushed face away from his eyes in embarrassment while he spreads his legs even farther apart.

Would he ask for it harder or try and grind his hips back?

Illumina let out an almost-silent whimper as his thumb brushed his tip and he bit harder into his lip. His hips slowly starting to move alongside his hands, chasing pleasure as he imagined his best friend falling apart to his touch.

After a few more minutes Illumina felt the knot coiling in his stomach, he was panting and his whole body was flushed scarlet. Warm water ran down his back and arms, his hair was sopping wet as water attacked it from above.

He brought his fist into his mouth, biting down as his high hit him like a train. A noise, that sounded suspiciously like a whimper, left his mouth as his hips stuttered to a stop.

His mind became clear once again as he leaned off of the wall, letting the water run down his face and chest.

Then the immediate wave of guilt washed over him. It practically suffocated him, swallowing him, dragging him deeper into the ocean of indefinite regret.

He just imagined fucking his best friend. That probably doesn’t even like him back. His roommate. He sighed and grabbed the body wash and a cloth, scrubbing himself clean before washing his hair out and conditioning it.

He turned the water off as the rest of the conditioner washed out of his hair. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he stepped out, the frigid cold attacking his body and he grimaced. Wrapping his towel around his waist, Illumina grabbed his clothes and stepped out of the door, this time welcoming the cold that wasn’t trapped inside the steaming bathroom.

He looked into the kitchen to see Fruit sitting at the island, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone until he noticed the bathroom door opening.

And holy fuck did he not regret looking up.

Illumina stood there, only a towel wrapped around his waist, hanging low on his hips. The Canadian’s pale skin gleamed in the natural light from the windows in the apartment. Spare drops of water came from half-dried hair and dripped down his lean body. Illumina wasn’t muscular but he wasn’t too skinny or un-fit. His legs were toned and not too thick or thin, but strong looking.

Fruit flushed and mumbled out a ‘hey’ which made Illumina laugh and return it with a greeting of his own before turning to walk to his room.

Fruit huffed and looked back down to his phone as he waited for Illumina to reemerge from his room.

His body still buzzed from the feeling of Illumina pressed against him. The way that his hand rested on the small of his back, pulling him closer than ever before as Fruit pushed his nose into the other’s neck.

He wanted to kiss it, feel the smooth flesh against his lips. He thought about what Illumina’s reaction would be. If he would breathe in, maybe hum, maybe he would want him to do it again. Or maybe he would look down with a certain look in his eyes, hunger preferably.

Or maybe it’d open a whole new door into Illumina’s mind.

A whole different sound could slip out. What if Illumina’s neck was sensitive—

“Yo.” Fruit lifted his head up to look at the aforementioned man and instantly Fruit’s face flushed. He was thinking about kissing his fucking roommate’s neck. Why? To think about if he would get a reaction!

“How was your shower?” Fruit asked, quirking a brow when Illumina froze from in front of the fridge.

“Uhm- it… it was good.” Fruit snorted at this.

“Okay?” he laughed, and Illumina ran a hand through his hair. The man pulled out milk and stepped over to the pantry.

Fruit watched through half-lidded eyes. The man moved so fluidly, prancing around their kitchen to grab the necessary ingredients for making the pancake batter. (Illumina made some of the best damn pancakes Fruit has ever tasted. When Fruit asked what made it so good, the former just said it was “made with love.”)

Fruit’s gaze traveled from the man’s hair to his neck, and he flushed, smirking to himself about his previous thoughts. Fruit brought a hand up to rest his head on, the cool countertops chilling his elbow.

Then he could imagine the smooth skin dotted with mulberry and wine-red splotches. They would be the aftermath of Fruit’s mouth, tongue, and teeth. Plus, maybe few bite marks to go along with the hickeys.

Then his gaze traveled lower to Illumina’s back. He could see the outline of his shoulder bones and the divot of his spine right before it ended at his tailbone, aka his ass.

And let Fruit tell ya, Illumina was definitely not a pancake.

Illumina’s ass was actually really plump, and the way it fit with his hips made Fruit’s head spin and he almost purred.

“What’cha looking at, Fruit?” instantly his eyes snapped to attention, back straightening and looking into Illumina’s eyes. The male had a smirk on his face and a whisk in his hand, turning around and crossing his arms while leaning against the counter.

Uh oh. Fruit thought to himself for a moment before lowering his head back onto his hands, smirking as well as he made his eyes half-lidded once again.

“Your ass.” He purred, raking his eyes across Illumina’s front before looking up to meet his eye once again.

The man looked taken aback. Shoulders drooping a bit as his eyes widened and he looked away, a blush coating his features. His strawberry lips then pulled into a smile as he giggled to himself, bringing up a hand to hide his flushed face. Fruit smirked at Illumina’s frame, shoulders bouncing slightly as he laughed.

“I- I wasn’t expecting you—” his head tilted back slightly as he laughed out loud. “to be, be that honest about it.” He said and Fruit laughed as well, shrugging to himself, and dropping his ‘flirty’ attitude.

“What can I say, I’m an honest man.” Fruit laughed and flicked the switch once again and decided to add, “When I see a nice ass, imma look. Especially if it goes with a hot face.” Fruit said, winking in Illumina’s direction.

Wine spilled across his face as he giggled even more into his hands. Fruit thought it was cute. He let a soft smile onto his face, just admiring him as Illumina dropped his hands and his eyes found almost every direction other than Fruit’s as he laughed to himself, gathering his words with one of the biggest smiles on his flushed face.

“You’re such a pervert…” he mumbled, finally looking over at Fruit.

“Well, at least I’m honest with you.” He paused, looking over Illumina’s body once again, before adding “Plus, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Illumina gasped and slapped his hands on the counter behind him.

“You take that back. I am not cute.” He said, feigning anger and crossing his arms.

Fruit cocked an eyebrow and sighed when Illumina squinted his eyes at him menacingly. Fruit slowly stood up from the counter and stepped around the side of it, dragging his hand across the smooth marble; he stopped when he was directly in front of the other, angling his head up before tilting his head to the side, his hands gripping the counter behind him.

“Please, Illumina…” He let the other’s name roll off of his tongue like dripping honey, “I give you one compliment and you turn to a blushing and giggling mess.” Fruit said, voice a tad bit lower as he spoke. “It’s cute.” He smirked. He was waiting for Illumina to deny it, smiling when the man looked into his eyes, considering his next move.

“Y- You do too!” Illumina stuttered out, voice a tad bit higher as Fruit shook his head, looking away and biting his beautiful cherry lip before turning back and pushing himself off of the counter, taking a few steps closer to the other.

“Oh, but not near as much as you, baby.” Illumina’s breath hitched at the pet name, the redness in his face not leaving, but becoming impossibly more. The name even pricked at Fruit’s skin, leaving him in goosebumps.

Why? Why was he doing this? What is happening?

He knows. He knows damn well.

He wants to get back at Illumina for his teasing, ghosting hands that left shivers and trembles in their wake. He wanted more.

So here he was, standing in front of his best friend with a dangerous gleam in his eye, waiting, waiting for Illumina to deny it once again. He had a clear plan in his mind—unless of course it made Illumina anywhere close to uncomfortable, then he would stop immediately—and he planned to use it.

The universe seemed to be by his side this morning when Illumina shook his head, mumbling out a tiny “You’re wrong…” and somehow shrinking in on himself a bit more as Fruit let out a short, dry laugh. The latter took a few more steps forward, stepping into Illumina’s personal space.

Illumina drew in a sharp breath of air, leaning his back into the counter as Fruit came closer. He paused, unsure of if Illumina was okay with this. But at swirling fudge eyes that were switching between locking onto his eyes, lips, and neck, he was evidently sure that Illumina was expecting (or wanting) more. So, he took another step forward.

After a second of hazel staring into chocolate, he slowly raised his hands to place them on either side of Illumina’s body, caging the slightly shorter in. Illumina froze for a minute, eyes flickering from Fruit’s right eye to his left, looking for something, maybe a sign that this was going to go further?

Then Fruit shivered as he felt a set of fingers travel from his fingernails and up towards his elbow, fingernails skimming across and tickling arm hair before they were dragged back down.

Fruit smirked and leaned impossibly closer, tilting his head to lean closer to Illumina’s left ear.

“If you keep on doing that, I’m going to have to find your sensitive spot, and start testing you as much as you test me. Okay?” he said it in a way that wasn’t really a question; it was more of a threat as a smirk came to his face.

The fingers paused for a moment, causing Fruit to almost chuckle until they began to slowly, teasingly so, dragging them up and down once again, making the touches feather light as they made Fruit let out a semi-shaky breath next to Illumina’s ear.

He looked on as Illumina tilted his head back a bit to side-eye Fruit, a dangerous, teasing look in his eye… urging Fruit to go on. Fruit let out a low laugh.

“You are such an idiot, you know that?” he said.

“Maybe I am… but you still love me.” Illumina whispered back, eyes glancing down towards Fruit’s lips once again. Fruit hummed, lips curling into a smirk as his gaze traveled down to Illumina’s neck, pale and untouched, a blank canvas, if you will.

He wanted to do it. He really wanted to kiss Illumina’s neck. He really wanted a reaction. He wanted something. He wanted it so bad that it scared him.

“Is this payback?” Illumina laughed out shakily. “Because if so, then it’s totally- totally understandable…” He whispered out, voice quivering in what seemed to be anticipation.

And Fruit looked at him, surprised for a moment before smiling. Because if that wasn’t consent in disguise then he didn’t know what was.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you, Illumina?” he whispered, bringing his mouth right next to Illumina’s ear, relishing in the way that it made his breath shudder for a moment.

“N-no…” he whispered out back. Fruit hummed in doubt as he leaned down, close to Illumina’s neck, blowing a slight breath of air onto the skin. He smiled deviously as Illumina’s body shuddered.

Fruit then hesitated for a moment.

Was this actually about to happen? Was he about to kiss Illumina’s neck?

Fuck it.

He leaned down and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to soft flesh.

It was like heaven as he felt Illumina let out a soft gasp, both of his hands gripping at Fruit’s own on the counter. Fruit almost stopped, but he wanted more, and Illumina wasn’t stopping him.

He dragged his lips down a bit more, pressing another soft kiss down and pushing himself farther into Illumina so that their chests were flush against each other’s. His heart was beating out of his skin; he wondered if Illumina could feel it.

Then Fruit dragged his lips further up, opening his mouth slightly wider in favor of dragging dull teeth against Illumina’s jugular and into the soft flesh where his jaw meets his neck.

It was blissful, ignorant, and overall exciting. His lips buzzed with the feeling of the other against them as he pressed another kiss to the soft skin.

Illumina let out a quiet noise at the back of his throat and Fruit looked at him in disbelief, reluctantly pulling away in favor of looking at Illumina’s face.

His eyebrows were pulled together, and he was biting his lip, when Fruit pulled away, Illumina’s head fell forward, resting on Fruit’s shoulder. His face was as red as a tomato. Fruit smiled and pulled away, gently pulling his hands out from underneath Illumina’s, instead bringing them under said man’s chin and tilting it upwards.

“We even now, cutie?” Illumina’s eyes opened and stared into his before looking away bashfully and nodding.

“Good, now let’s make some pancakes.” Fruit said, smiling. Illumina followed it with one of his own.

“You.” He brought a finger to Fruit’s chest, “Are a tease.” Fruit smirked and lifted a brow.

“Would you rather me continue? Because I can do it more, if you’d like.” Illumina laughed, looking down at Fruit’s arm and running a hand up it. Fruit narrowed his eyes, but before he could speak, Illumina beat him to it.

“Let’s make some pancakes.” He said firmly, a teasing smile on his face before slipping away to grab a bowl from one of the high cabinets and setting it onto the counter. He whipped around to face Fruit once again.

“And by ‘let’s,’ I mean me while you go shower.” Illumina smiled and Fruit stuck out his bottom lip.

“Aw, but I wanted to look at your ass!” Fruit pouted, shoulders drooping as Illumina broke into laughter.

“You menace.” Illumina narrowed his eyes. “By the time you get out, I’ll be done with your plate. Plus, we have work to do.” Illumina stated, turning the stove on to heat up while he grabbed a flat pan. Fruit groaned in fake annoyance, leaning back and stomping like a child.

“Fineeee…” he drawled out, sending a grateful glance towards Illumina with a smile before turning to head to the bathroom.

Illumina sighed as he watched him go, letting the rush of blood flood his face and he dropped it into his hands.

Okay. Maybe he was a switch, because… what the fuck was that?!

Illumina let out a scream into his hands. He hated (loved) how it made his mind spin, how his body came to life at Fruit’s words and lips. His lips! His fucking LIPS! Fruit had kissed his neck!

And oh, how he loved it.

He loved it so much. It was almost everything he hoped and dreamed.

And all of his previous guilt was washed away by his competitive side.

This battle was not over.

And he was going to win.

Chapter Text

When Fruit came out of the shower, dressed and hair still damp, Illumina was still standing at the stove.

On the island there was a plate of pancakes with syrup drizzled across it, a small dipping cup had a scoop of butter in it. Fruit practically melted at the sight of powdered sugar sprinkled across the pancakes and syrup.

“Aw, Illumina,” he walked up behind the other man and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, draping himself over the other, “you didn’t have to add the sugar for me.” He drawled out, stuffing his head into the side of Illumina’s neck, smirking slightly when the other tensed for a second.

“I felt like being nice, now get off of me before I eat those pancakes.” Illumina said, reaching his hand up to pat Fruit’s head. Fruit huffed and let go, moving to sit on one of the stools at the island.

“Thank you, honey.” Fruit said, giggling when Illumina looked at him with a flushed-yet-unimpressed look.

“Eat your damn pancakes!” Illumina said, and who was Fruit to say no.

Illumina finished with his plate eventually, brining it to sit down next to Fruit.

They discussed what they were going to be doing for the day, if they were going to stream, when or if they were going to record, and planning out their schedule.

And if Fruit’s eyes stayed locked onto Illumina’s neck for a bit too long or Illumina couldn’t help but imagine what Fruit’s mouth tasted like, nobody mentioned it.

Eventually they both stood up, setting their plates in the dishwasher and walking to Fruit’s room.

Fruit said that he was going to stream for a bit and Illumina didn’t have any editing or anything to do yet, so he chilled on the other’s bed, charging his phone and taking a nap until the other closed stream and flopped on the bed next to him.

“Wake up sleepy head.” Fruit whispered, poking Illumina’s cheek and sending a soft smile as dazed chocolate eyes cracked open.

“I’m gonna edit for a bit and you said you were going to practice for the next MCC.” He said, poking the other’s cheek once again. Illumina groaned and rolled over, turning his back to Fruit.

“Don’t wanna.” He mumbled, pulling a blanket over himself to try and block out the cold of Fruit’s room. Fruit frowned. “M’ comfy.” The brunet said into the wall, still unmoving.

“Illumina,” Fruit said, pressing a hand into the mattress as he leaned closer to the former. When he got no reaction, Fruit sighed and sent a fake glare towards Illumina.

Seeing the boy cuddled up in his blanket was one of the sights that Fruit never knew he needed.

Then his eyes trailed down from burning holes into the back of his head, to his back, and stopping at his hips and sides. And inspiration hit him like a truck. A dangerous gleam shone in his eyes as he scooted even closer to Illumina.

He placed a hand on Illumina’s shoulder and pushed him down, pressing Illumina’s back into the mattress, earning him a whine and hands trying to push his away. Fruit smirked and let out a little laugh.

“Lumina, look at me.” The other blearily opened his eyes, sending a half-hearted glare towards Fruit, who was now halfway hovering over him. The brunet slowly began to come to his senses and his face turned the slightest shade of peach.

“Fruit—” Illumina went to complain, but it was cut off by him choking out a laugh as Fruit dug his fingers into the man’s ribs.

“I told you Lumi!” Fruit yelled, tickling Illumina more as the boy squirmed and laughed, shrimping in on himself to try and hide from attacking fingers.

“Fruit!” Illumina laughed out, red-faced and tears forming in his eyes, “Stop- Stop it!” He cried, trying to push the chestnut-brown’s hands away. Fruit had a wild grin on his face.

“Nope! I told you! You need to practice!” Fruit yelled back. “Like you said you were going to!”

“No!” Illumina yelled back through laughter.

“Then—”

Fruit was cut off by the rhythmic dinging from his monitor, signaling that he was getting a Discord call.

Fruit glanced back towards Illumina.

“This isn’t over yet.” He said, a menacing tone to his voice and Illumina let out a bleary nervous laugh.

Fruit walked over to his monitor, clicking to his Discord tab and an all-purple profile with a blinking green ring had popped up. Fruit smiled in recognition. He pressed the green button, slipping his headphones on.

“Yo, what’s up dude?” Fruit asked, gaze drifting back to Illumina, who was still panting slightly on his bed.

“Nothing much, man. Are you busy right now?” The other asked tentatively, not wanting to bother the older too much if he was, in fact, busy. Fruit thought for a moment.

“Uhm,” Illumina’s eyes met his, an eyebrow cocking up. Fruit mouthed “Purpled”, and Illumina lit up at the mention of the other. “No, nothing much. I just ended stream and I was just chilling with Illu.” Fruit explained, leaning back into his chair.

“Oh, okay, tell him I said hi. Uh, I was just wondering if we could practice duel for a bit? You don’t have to, I just wanted to get into the swing of things with 1.8+ PvP, since I’m not that great at it… you get the gist.” Purpled rambled. Fruit smiled fondly.

Most know Purpled as some up-beat kid that is cocky when it comes to anything about him, for it was his whole ‘on camera persona’, but both Fruit and Illumina, and a few other friends in the streaming community, knew that he was just a kid who cared greatly about all of his friends and only wanted the best. He was down to Earth and a generally nice person to talk to, though he could be a bit hesitant at times. Fruit turned to Illumina.

“Purp says hi.” Illumina smiled.

“Hi Purpled!” he called, and Fruit heard Purpled laugh, turning back to their original conversation.

“But yea! I’d be down to teach you some moves, anything specific that you need to work on?”

“Uh, no, nothing really… just confused with the whole addition of shields and recharging of weapons and such… so basically everything.” He sighed, seeming a bit disappointed and having to admit it was not helping in the least. Fruit frowned a bit.

“Yeah man, it’s no big deal. The addition of a shield and recharging it and shit is just an absolute cluster-fuck when it comes down to it, so I totally get you.” Fruit said, looking over to Illumina, who was looking at Fruit intently, trying to understand the context of the situation. “Wanna hop on Hypixel or just regular vanilla?”

Purpled’s line was quiet before he mumbled out “Vanilla.” And then there was commotion on the other side and Purpled said a quick “hold on.” And deafened.

Fruit took the opportunity to look to Illumina, sliding his headphones down off to hang around his neck.

“He is having a hard time with the whole 1.16 PvP shit. Which is so understandable, since he is a Bedwars player and all.” Illumina made a noise of recognition, scooting to the edge of the bed and putting his elbows on his knees, propping his head up.

“Our poor Golden Boy.” Illumina said, half-sad, half-jokingly. Both men had taken a mutual liking to the young Solo Leaderboarder, his personality sliding right in with Illumina’s generally nervous and rambly and Fruit’s calm and collected. The two often joking about adopting the kid, the blonde whining about having to call them ‘Sensei's’.

Truthfully, Purpled reminded Fruit a lot of himself. Their shared passion and willpower, the love of the game, the endless need to be better. He remembers seeing Purpled in his natural domain of Hypixel Bedwars. The kid was a natural.

(Illumina often messed with Fruit for calling Purpled ‘kid’ when Fruit was only a little more than 2 years older, which was weird, seeing as Fruit felt younger when he was around the blonde.

A part—the childish part—in him seemed to be brought out whenever he was around the other. Purpled’s calm attitude had a small spark of chaos that would create a wildfire when around Fruit. It was an equal fun for both.)

Fruit looked at Illumina, a lazy smile on strawberry lips and chocolate eyes blocked off by thin eyelids, dark eyelashes rested soundly on smooth cheeks. He couldn’t help but get lost while looking at Illumina.

Of course, he knew that the other was an anti-social, awkward, and nervous wreck, but he still thought that he was the most beautiful being on Earth. Overkill? Nah.

“I’m gonna go wake up some more.” Illumina said, finally standing up and walking over to Fruit’s chair, standing in between Fruit’s legs. Fruit cocked an eyebrow, trying to keep his gaze turned upwards at Illumina’s face, rather than… yeah. The older stood there for a moment before smiling.

“Fluffy.” He mumbled and raised a hand to comb through Fruit’s hair, the latter leaning into the touch. “Aww, you’re like a cat! No wonder Twitter calls you a cat-boy.” Illumina laughed, pulling his hand back to stare at Fruit with soft brown eyes that held so much power over hazel. Internally Fruit was screaming, how can someone be so fucking beautiful?

“Fuck off.” Fruit laughed, lightly kicking Illumina’s shin. Illumina hummed and after a beat stepped away.

“Tell our Golden Boy that I give him all of my luck.” Illumina said and right before he shut the door, Fruit added,

“How ‘bout I give you all this cock?” Fruit smirked, quite satisfied with his joke as Illumina let out a noise of surprise, head whipping back to look at Fruit with an incredulous look

“What?” Came Purpled’s response from the other end of the line. Instantly Fruit broke into laughter, startling Illumina a bit. “Fruit, what the hell?” Purpled’s questioning-yet-amused voice filled his ears. The aforementioned tried to calm himself from the constant barrage of giggles that spilled from his lips as Illumina gasped.

“Did he hear you?!” Fruit couldn’t respond with how hard he was laughing. “Oh my gosh Fruit! You absolute menace! I’m so sorry Purpled.” Illumina said, loud enough for the mic to pick up. Purpled just laughed.

Eventually Fruit calmed down, shooing Illumina out of the room before turning his main focus to Purpled. They got logged into a server that they set up to be ideal for dueling. They both had full diamond, an axe, sword, crossbow, arrows, and shield.

First, they began with just basic dueling, giving Fruit the time to see exactly where Purpled was struggling. It helped him see the basis of what he was working with.

(When Fruit explained this, Purpled had snorted and asked if he did the same thing with Technoblade…

Fruit had sighed solemnly, telling Purpled that Technoblade was a much worse student, to which Purpled laughed.)

After the first couple of duels, Fruit started off with the basics, explaining how the axe and shield recharge worked, demonstrating it many times until Fruit was sure Purpled would have nightmares about it.

With the extra information, they began to duel. Purpled seemed to be a little more confident in his hits, recognizing wat he did easier and working his best to fix it.

After a duel, Purpled piped up.

“Do you and Illumina always joke like that?” Purpled asked, half-distracted with trying to kill a bee that buzzed past. Fruit was taken aback by the question and Purpled clearly noticed, quickly moving to apologize.

“Sorry, none of my business—”

“No, no, you’re good, just wasn’t expecting it is all.” Fruit laughed, face flushing slightly in embarrassment. “Uh, we don’t joke like that a lot, just fun to poke at him. He does the same shit too.” Fruit said and Purpled laughed, though it was a bit forced.

“Still, my bad. Kinda an awkward question. But yeah, I got you, Sammy and I do the same shit.” Purpled said, still feeling kinda bad.

“Don’t worry. Also, question for you.” Fruit said, turning his character to look at Purpled’s, “Why didn’t you ask Dream or something? Not that I’m against it, I like hanging with you, just asking.” Purpled hummed.

“Thought you would have a better way of explaining things I guess.” He explained, and Fruit could practically hear his shrug. “Plus, it has been a bit since me and you talked.” Fruit made a noise of agreement.

“Yeah man, haven’t had time to bug you about playing UHC with me.” Both of them fell into light laughter.

“That being said, how’s life treating you?” Fruit’s mind stuttered to halt.

How has life been treating him?

Well, the quick and easy answer to that is the classic ‘Good.’ But in all honesty, he felt like he was losing it.

 His main problem being that he was pretty sure he had a stupid gay crush on his fucking best friend/roommate. His second problem being that he was probably fucking gay! It all hit him at full force when Illumina walked out of the shower, towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his beautiful fucking skin—

“Uh, dif- differently.” He said, hands lifting off of his keyboard and coming to rub at his eyes. Purpled snorted.

“Wanna elaborate?” he asked. No—

“I think- I think I’m questioning my… my sexuality…?” Fruit responded, he wanted to curl into a ball and disappear at the second of silence that came from the other line.

“Oh, okay then. Any reason why?” Purpled sounded a bit taken aback, not really well-educated on the whole LGBTQ+ subject other than the basics, but still wanting to be there for his friend.

“I- so… there is this… this guy,” he cringed, not really ready to tell the other teen all of his deepest and darkest secrets just yet, “and, I- I don’t know, he’s just like… really hot? And not in just the ‘homie way’ either.” Purpled hummed, showing that he was listening to the other.

“Oh fuck, this is so embarrassing…” Fruit said, clearly in some sort of discomfort from this whole conversation.

“Well… I don’t really have any advice for you… me being straight and all,” Purpled laughed, Fruit joined in after a second, adding the reassurance that he was aware before Purpled continued. “have you thought about, and don’t think I’m weird for this, but have you thought about talking to Illu about it? He’s bi isn’t he?” Purpled suggested. At Fruit’s silence his eyes widened.

“Fruit?” The other groaned to himself at Purpled’s questioning tone. “Don’t feel obligated to answer this, like- at all, but… Is it Illumina? Again—”

Fruit sighed, cutting off Purpled’s words. He couldn’t bare saying it out loud.

Purpled stayed silent a second before laughing out a sigh.

“You definitely got yourself into a… a very interesting situation to say the least.” Purpled said quietly, thinking of ways to make his friend feel better, before ultimately deciding that just not talking about it would sooth his nerves the most. But as soon as he opened his mouth, Fruit cut him off.

“Am… Am I fucked up?” The heartbroken voice filled with sapphire notes and a sea full of hurt mumbled. Purpled frowned.

“With the whole sexuality thing? No, dude, definitely not. It’s normal. I mean, you can’t really control it.” Purpled began. “Don’t even begin to think that way, man.” He said, tone soft, but firm.

“Fuck. Fucking- yeah… yeah you’re right… I’m sorry, didn’t mean to like… I don’t know, spill like that.” Fruit mumbled, hazel eyes burning as he looked at his door, the feeling of tears weighing heavily in his eye sockets.

“Hey… that’s what friends are for, right? No matter what I’m always gonna be here dude. You having a change in who you like isn’t going to change that.” Purpled said nonchalantly, but the words held weight as they crashed onto Fruit.

Who he liked? He didn’t like anyone. He fucking loved someone. So much that it hurt.

“Right… I- I know… thank you. You’re a good fucking friend.” Fruit said, the tremble in his voice simmering down slightly.

“Ayo, don’t start getting all sappy on me now, okay?” Purpled said, amusement in his voice. Fruit couldn’t help but smile.

“Alright then, how about we duel for real then?” Fruit challenged, still feeling a bit distracted, but wanting to change the subject after he spilled onto the other.

“Okay, okay, calm down ‘Technoblade’s Sensei.’ “ Fruit laughed, slapping Purpled’s character with his fist in-game.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

A part of Fruit wishes that a soft, low-toned voice said, “But you love me.” At the end, so he could agree with his full heart on his sleeve.

He wanted blossoms to sprout and secrets to be revealed, with the silent prayer that they were reciprocated, because in all honesty… he doesn’t know what he would do if Illumina didn’t feel the same.

But he really, really doesn’t want to think about that as he slams his axe down onto Purpled’s raised shield, earning the other a quick crit and the need to run as the purple-eyed figure followed.

The rest of the duels went well, Purpled had got Fruit down to half a heart many times and even killed him once when a lag spike happened (or that’s what Fruit claimed.) When Fruit heard commotion coming from Purpled’s end and then it went quiet, Fruit decided that it was probably time to head off either way.

“Hey man, dinner is ready right now, so I’m gonna go do that if that’s okay?” Purpled said, albeit a bit timidly. Fruit smiled.

“Yeah dude, of course. I’ll be on if you ever need anything else alright?” Fruit said and Purpled hummed in acknowledgement.

“Yeah… good luck Fruit. Talk to you in a bit.” Fruit blinked for a second before heat rushed to his face.

“Yep! Talk to you later… and thanks…” Purpled only laughed before leaving the call and the game.

Fruit groaned and shoved his face into his hands.

That did not just happen. He did not just tell Purpled that he liked Illumina.

But, if he was being honest, maybe telling Illumina about his whole ‘sexuality ordeal’ would be the best thing to do… minus the being in love with him part.

He sat at his PC for a bit longer, sighing and deciding to finish editing the video he had made. His heart was beating out of his chest for some odd reason, but he managed to distract himself with work.

It worked… sort of.

If Illumina’s beautifully flushed face wasn’t stuck in his mind from when he was tickling him. His marigold laughter swelled his mind, suffocating in the honey-sweetness of it.

He felt like he was drowning. He honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt like he was falling deeper and deeper into the depths of the dark ocean of doubt and misery the farther he fell whenever he saw Illumina.

Wave after wave of slurs were being thrown at him by none other than himself. He couldn’t breathe.

But he couldn’t help but see Illumina as the lighthouse in the distance. He wanted to keep swimming, he wanted to make it the lighthouse. He wanted to be there, feel it’s warmth when it shields him from the pelting rain that stings his face with anger.

He just wants to be in his arms again, whether it kills him or not.

He felt tears prick his eyes, he sent the almost fully edited video to his editor, who usually touched it up and made it better than he ever could.

He felt useless. Illumina didn’t love him, he never would. Everything he did was just out of some sort of fucked up friendship that Fruit couldn’t help but want to be more.

Fruit stood up out of his chair, stepping away from the monitor that showered him it cold, blue light. He shivered, the heating in the apartment was not doing it’s job. He wiped his eyes and hugged himself as he stepped out of his room, walking into the room of the very person that he was tearing up over.

He knocked gently, hearing Illumina’s ‘come in’ and stepping in.

The man was sat at his computer, headphones over his ears, and one hand’s fingers flying over the keys like his life depended on it and the other on the mouse that was flicking around wildly at some moments.

His beautiful strawberry lips were pulled into a half-smile and his chocolate brown eyes ran over Fruit once before his full attention was back on the monitor.

Fruit smiled a bit at the focused look on his face. Fruit leaned on the doorframe, there was no way that he could feel sad when the most amazing person was right in front of him. When chocolate eyes were opened wide with a passionate look that captivated Fruit with all of their power.

“No way- What?! There is no way you actually hit that!” Illumina yelled, clearly surprised with whatever was happening. Fruit laughed at the look on his face. Illumina’s eyes then snapped up to Fruit, pausing to travel to cherry lips before narrowing into a false glare.

“Are you laughing at me?!” He yelled, Canadian accent shining through and Fruit couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of his face. Illumina scoffed and turned back to the game that was undoubtedly Minecraft.

“Wha- Dream! It’s not funny! That hit was total… bull!” Fruit smiled even more as Illumina got even more flustered. Fruit slipped into the room, sliding himself behind Illumina and leaning on the back of his chair.

The MCC practice server’s Battle Box came into view on the main monitor. On the second one, discord was up, and Fruit could see that Illumina and Dream were in a call. Fruit watched as Dream’s icon shone green for a moment and Illumina tilted his head back, looking at Fruit.

“Fruity B has decided to join us I guess.” Illumina said, feigning annoyance as he scrunched his nose in Fruit’s direction. Fruit’s cherry lips quirked up into a smirk and he flicked Illumina in the forehead, earning him an ‘ow!’ and Illumina bringing his gaze back to the screen.

“Dream says to get out.” Illumina smirks, hearing Dream yell a ‘What?!’ from the other end and him sputtering to yell at Illumina for butchering what he had actually said.

Fruit gasped dramatically, leaning Illumina’s chair back a bit more and stealing the headphones off of his ears.

“Dream, how could you?” Fruit asked, feigning sadness. Dream wheezed from the other line before yelling,

“What?! No- No Illumina is a liar! I only said hi!” he said, very passionate about the fact that he did not, in fact, say to get out. Fruit laughed more and hummed skeptically.

“I don’t know Dream, you sound kinda sus right now.” Fruit said, smiling down at Illumina and winking. The older male stuttered and recoiled a bit, eyes wide and cheeks turning a light blossom, clearly taken aback by the wink.

“Fruit, Fruit I swear!” Dream said, laughing a bit as he did, “Illumina’s being a.. a dick.” Dream wheezed out the end, falling into cackling laughter. Fruit joined in, laughing along with Dream while Illumina stared at him questioningly. Fruit handed the headphones back and Illumina quirked a brow.

“Stop being a liar Illumina, trying to keep Dream all to yourself.” Fruit said accusingly with an amusing tone in his voice. Fruit heard the wheeze from the other end as Illumina held the headphones out in front of him. Illumina gawked, putting the headphones back onto his ears, but taking one off so he could still hear Fruit.

“What? Ew, I don’t want him all to myself, he’s just a big green… booger.” Illumina said before falling into a fit of giggles.

“What does that say about me?! I’m green too!” Fruit said, Illumina suddenly glared at Fruit.

“No, you’re the only green man I would ever keep to myself, not… Dream.” Illumina said, drawing out the blonde’s name with a disgusted tone. Fruit’s face morphed into a fond smile while Illumina laughed at Dream’s reaction. The words Illumina said echoed in his head.

“The only one I would ever keep to myself” Fruit felt his face flush at the words. Whether it was in the friend-way or not, it still felt good to hear. Especially if it was from Illumina.

He watched as Illumina and Dream loaded into another round of Battle Box, Illumina grabbing the crossbow and loading it.

As the game started, Illumina immediately firing a cross-map shot, missing Dream by a couple blocks before he ran for the potion of harming. Dream had grabbed the other potion from the other side of the map, but that detail was quickly forgotten as an arrow smacked Illumina in the face, bringing him down a few hearts.

Fruit heard Illumina mutter a few words that were incoherent as he hid behind the far tower, loading his crossbow and climbing the ladders while staying shifted.

Illumina got up onto the top, firing an arrow at Dream, hitting him right before he ducked behind the cobblestone barrier. Illumina laughed at something Dream had said before rushing through middle, he ran on the left side of the tower, Dream fired an arrow that whizzed just to the right of Illumina, enabling the Canadian to get a free shot and potion throw.

Dream retaliated by throwing one right back at him, following it up with a crit of his stone sword. Illumina stood back on defense, running to the other tower before nocking an arrow in his regular bow, shooting it and dinging Dream, following it up with a crit of his own. Dream’s body exploded in a shower of red confetti, Illumina half-shouting in victory.

Fruit smiled, his fingers twitching as muscle memory settled into his brain, the moves that he would’ve made crossing his mind in split-second flashes.

As the other two loaded up another game, Fruit’s hazel gaze traveled down to rest on the top of Illumina’s head.

Silky hair came down to rest on his forehead, layering across the back and sides of his head. Fruit smiled even wider as an idea came to mind.

As soon as the round started, Illumina sprinting to the right, Fruit brought a hand up to comb his fingers through the dark hair at the front of Illumina’s head, avoiding the set of headphones.

Illumina seemed to physically stutter for a moment, leaning into the touch of the other before coming back to the game when an arrow lodged itself in his character’s body. He quietly cursed at himself before nocking an arrow and firing it back.

Fruits lips quirked up as his other hand weaved it’s way through the hair in the back of Illumina’s head.

Instantly, Illumina’s shoulders went slack, his fingers becoming a bit more delayed in their movements and Illumina tilted his head forward slightly, allowing Fruit more access to the hair in the back.

A final arrow fired, and Illumina’s character exploded in a blue firework.

“Illumina? You okay over there?” Dream asked, jumping into the lava and respawning at the top in front of Illumina’s still character.

The man hummed as he melted into Fruit’s touch. He couldn’t form words as his brain fuzzed over, Fruit’s fingers combing his hair in all the right ways. Fruit giggled as Illumina leaned into the touch.

“You good for another match? Or are you… distracted?” Dream asked, suspicion leaking into his voice as Illumina let out a noise of contentment.

“How long are you guys gonna be training?” Fruit asked, voice low and sending shivers through the other’s body. “Do you want me to stop so you can focus?” Illumina shook his head at this.

“No, keep going… I was about to get off either way.”

“What?” Dream asked, amusement slipping into his tone. “You’re acting kinda sus Illu, what the hell is Fruit doing?”

“Sorry, Dream.” Illumina said, voice gentle. “I think I’m good for today, TapL told me he’d be on later if you wanna train with him.” The Canadian said, Dream hummed.

“Gotcha, wanna chill with your boyfriend, understandable.” The American laughed to himself. Fruit pulled his hands away—much to Illumina’s distain—and Illumina let out a surprised noise.

“Dream! Stop it you weirdo!” Illumina said, brain slowly becoming unfuzzed. “Why don’t you go make out with George or something?” He said, laughing as Dream let out a wheeze.

“I will when you finally admit that you like Fruit.” Illumina’s breath hitched. Oh fuck.

“Dream, you complete asshole, I will end you.” Illumina hissed and Fruit quirked a brow.

“What? It’s obvious!” Dream wheezed, though there was some sincerity to it.

“I am choosing to ignore you.” Illumina stated, turning to Fruit. “How did Purp end up doing?”

“He is a quick learner. Ended up getting me down to half a heart a couple of times. He’s our little Golden Boy for sure.” Fruit said, quite proud of himself.

“What? You guys are stealing Purpled from me? I’m hurt. He used to go to me for everything.” Dream faked sadness. Illumina smiled.

“He just likes his Canadian parents better.” Illumina said, looking up at Fruit and winking. This time it was Fruit’s turn to be flustered, his face flushing and he turned away.

“What?! Oh, come on now,” Dream said, clearly trying to hide his amusement. “That is so unfair and not true.” He stated, laughing. Illumina joined in, shrugging.

“I don’t know Dream; I think that you’re just jealous.” Illumina smirked. Dream wheezed, trying to deny that he was ‘jealous’ in a flurry of mismatched sentences.

“Okay, okay, chill out. I’m gonna log off, I want to eat some lunch and chill. You can go be jealous somewhere else.” Dream sighed and Illumina could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

“Alright, talk to you later. Tell Fruit that I said to have a good day… and while you’re there how about you confess?” Dream said quickly adding on “alright bye!” and leaving the call before Illumina could retaliate.

The latter huffed, slipping his headphones off and leaning his head back. Fruit took this chance to card his fingers through Illumina’s bangs. His eyes fluttered close, his eyelashes resting soundly on his slightly apple-tinted cheeks. Fruit smirked.

“Calling me the cat-boy, yet you practically melt under my fingers.” Fruit purred, ivory teeth biting into his bottom lip in a crooked smile. Illumina was apparently in no condition to give a good comeback, instead letting out a half-hearted hum and smiling.

Fruit felt himself melt at the sight. He is so glad that he fell for something so cute and pretty. Fruit chuckled.

“You’re so cute.” He mumbled and Illumina cracked an eye open.

“Not as cute as you.” He replied lazily, chocolate eye full of soft care. Fruit couldn’t help but coo at the man under him.

“I’m willing to bet on that, sweetie.” Illumina’s eyebrows drew down a second, but a traitorous smile bloomed even wider on his face. Fruit slowed his movements, shivering in the cold of the room.

“But maybe later because I’m cold as shit.” Fruit said, moving away from the other to flop onto his bed, grabbing a few blankets and swaddling himself in them. Illumina swiveled around in his chair, stopping to look at the pile of blankets overtop of Fruit. He giggled at his roommate’s antics, standing up from the chair and flopping next to Fruit.

“Am I allowed to come into Fort Fruity B?” The other giggled and lifted the blankets enough for Illumina to slide under them and nestle himself next to Fruit.

“Ah! Your feet are so cold! Stop touching me with them.” Fruit said, pulling his legs farther away from Illumina’s. Illumina laughed deviously, and scooted closer to Fruit, lifting one of his un-socked feet to press it to the top of Fruit’s foot. The younger brunette yelled out a laugh and tried to push Illumina’s feet away from him. Illumina kept laughing, he could feel the other shudder each time he touched him with his feet.

“Fine, fine… but if I can’t touch you with my feet… then you get to keep my hands warm.” Illumina stated, and then he wrapped his arms around Fruit’s torso, pulling him close and slipping his hands under Fruit’s shirt, trailing them up the sides until they rested soundly on warm, smooth skin.

Fruit hissed at the coolness of Illumina’s hands, his face and neck heating up with the rest of his body. Illumina giggled as Fruit shuddered under his touch.

“Why are they so cold?” Fruit said quietly, body slowly starting to untense and he settled into Illumina’s hold.

“Well, they have been exposed for the past hour and a half. But now they are starting to warm up.” Illumina said, and he felt Fruit scoot even closer to his chest, slipping his own hands under Illumina’s shirt. He felt how cold the rest of Illumina’s body was, it made them both shiver involuntarily.

“How are your hands so unreasonably warm?” Illumina huffed, slightly jealous of the other’s warmth. He felt Fruit smile into him.

“I’m just simply better than you.” Fruit said and Illumina sighed, pressing his nose into Fruit’s hair.

Fruit sighed contently into the crook of Illumina’s neck.

Fruit then had a full-body tremor as Illumina began to slowly drag his cold fingers along Fruit’s sides. It left a delicate trail of goosebumps along pale skin. Fruit loved it.

Fruit slowly cracked his eyes open, the room having lines of sun drifting across the floor from the window. It showered them in a gentle, soothing light. Then his eyes focused on the one before him.

Smooth, untouched skin sat right under his nose. He smiled and opened his mouth slightly, letting out a hot breath of air that made Illumina let out a low breath into his hair before tilting his head back a bit, allowing Fruit more room to move his head around.

He took the chance and slowly pressed a kiss to Illumina’s collarbone. His lips lingered for a moment before dragging them higher. He rested them against Illumina’s skin and his eyes widened as he could feel the other’s pulse. It was steady and beating strong. Fruit pressed many small kisses along the side of his neck.

Then he decided to test the waters a bit more. He slipped himself closer to where his head rested under Illumina’s jaw. He slowly started to give opened-mouth kisses along the other man’s Adam’s apple, relishing in the way his breath hitched in his throat.

He smiled even wider, dipping his mouth into the small crevice of Illumina’s jaw and neck. He then began to gently nibble on the soft skin, his lips moving around it slightly.

Then he paused his movements once again when Illumina whined. Fruit smirked against his skin, feeling cold fingers begin to press into his side.

His head was in the clouds. Knowing that he was the one that made Illumina feel this way. He was the one to get to see him like this. The only one.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Fruit mumbled quietly, pressing his lips to soft skin once again.

“Huh?” Illumina asked, a little louder, but voice still distant as he tilted his head back even more. Fruit didn’t answer in favor of beginning to place teasing kisses on his jaw before beginning to suck on a certain spot that Illumina had whimpered at.

Fruit’s head began to spin as he could taste Illumina on his tongue. Oh, he was in deep. Too deep.

But he felt like he was also in a void of cold, possessive pleasure. He couldn’t help but want to make it clear to Illumina that he was, in fact, in deep.

Then he pulled away to look at Illumina’s face. He practically melted.

Lifting a hand out from under Illumina’s shirt, he brought it up to cup Illumina’s cheek, tilting his head down a bit to see him better.

Dark eyebrows were pinched slightly, one cheek was pulled in as Illumina obviously bit it. His face was dusted in spilled wine as brown eyes slowly peeked open to scan Fruit’s face.

The latter giggled at Illumina’s look. He looked so… fucked and Fruit had barely even done anything.

He brushed a thumb over his cheek as his eyes trailed down to strawberry lips.

And oh, how he wanted to kiss them.

“I-“ Fruit started, cutting himself off when his tongue became heavy in his mouth, but he needed to tell Illumina this.

“I think I’m definitely not straight.” Fruit breathed out; eyes locked onto Illumina’s lips while he did.

He saw Illumina’s eyes widen at the confession. His strawberry lips pulled into a smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few more moments, they both felt each other’s hot breaths on their faces.

“That’s…” What was it? Was it good? Was it a relief? Yes and yes, but he didn’t want to seem… to seem like a creep or something. “What made you think…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence as hazel eyes locked onto his. He felt the words on his tongue die just as quick as any of the walls guarding his feelings did as well.

Illumina felt the rush of emotions that would’ve otherwise been platonic love for his roommate. But now he felt all the guilt, darkness, shame, and anger at himself drift away as he stared into hazel irises.

Freckled cheeks lit up in a flush as Illumina continued his motions of ghosting his fingers along Fruit’s spine. His lips quirked up as Fruit’s eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips once again.

“You don’t have to ask.” Illumina mumbled, watching as Fruit’s eyes widened and cherry lips became caged between teeth as Fruit tugged on that last string of whatever the hell was holding him back.

And Illumina saw the moment that the thread snapped. He felt it.

Soft, cherry lips were pressed to his. They were warm, comforting, and just safe. He smiled into the kiss as Fruit’s hand on his cheek pulled him closer. Closer. His lips moved in a rhythm along with Fruit’s. His mind clouded over. The only thing he felt was Fruit. Everything else became muddled colors in the background as he kissed Fruit slowly and gently.

He held him like fragile glass. Like if he made one move to quickly then Fruit would shatter in his arms. He felt high. But he was high on the taste of cherry and love.

And then it was over. Fruit pulling his head back and the hand on his cheek holding his in place.

Fruit looked dazed, his mind in a mirth of discovery that he was far to deep into.

“You okay?” Illumina asked softly, almost in a whisper. Fruit nodded slowly before a delicate smile came to his lips.

“That was…” he paused, and Illumina lifted a hand up to move chestnut hair out of hazel eyes, “Yeah… no, I’m definitely not straight.” Fruit laughed out, leaning down to nuzzle Illumina’s neck. Illumina also laughed, pulling Fruit closer.

“Glad I could be of… assistance to you.” Fruit huffed happily.

“Yes, thank you…” He mumbled into Illumina’s collar.

Their words held worlds as they held each other.

The smiles on their lips and the redness of their faces were quiet and comforting. 

Maybe they would talk about it later, maybe they wouldn't. But for now they were content. 

(Maybe Purpled was right... Fruit just took things a little bit faster than mentioned... but he would count this as a win in his book.)

(Maybe Dream was a fortune-teller, or his 1000 IQ brain was simply built different, because what the actual frick?)

But no matter the case, they were content in each other's arms. As they always have been. Just with... a bit more wiggle room.

Chapter Text

Time seemed to pass by a lot slower as the week days had blended into the weekend.

They went by… better than expected. Neither brought up the kiss. Nor what it could, or possibly already, meant. It wasn’t awkward in the slightest, bless his soul, but it was perhaps better. If the increase in touchiness and flirtatious comments that caused the other to stir into a blushing mess.

Trust him, Fruit was excited, but he also sort of hated the way the days seemed to inch by.

But… it wasn’t all bad.

The slower days just gave him more time to… enjoy the presence of the other member of his apartment.

And by that he definitely did not mean staring at his beautiful self whenever he got the chance, listening to his voice for hours-on-end, and just generally hanging out with him.

Though his pretty face was enough of a reason for him to want time to stop so he could just stare at it for a bit longer.

And the fact that they had almost tore down every barrier with each other. This meaning that whenever he wanted—with the consent of Illumina of course—he could walk over and press a kiss to Illumina’s lips, neck, cheek… nothing below the collar. At least not yet.

But as he groaned, hissing as he woke up, feeling a… certain pain in his abdomen as sweat dripped down his neck and caught on the hem of his shirt.

His breathing heaved in the slightest, tipping his head back as he sat up. He did not—

His breath caught in his throat as the flashes of his dream rippled though his mind, causing his body to freeze, though his heartbeat thrummed in his chest and in his veins.

Soft kisses against flesh. Gentle hands roaming places farther than they had ever dared before. Breathy moans. The quiet words, praises that flew past his ears. Whimpers, shivers, and whines as heat enveloped them.

Chocolate brown eyes that dripped with splashes of honey. Pretty strawberry lips that also roamed places that were definitely not left to the imagination in his mind. The feeling of being—

He reeled his mind back in, taking in a gasp of air as his hands and thighs trembled slightly. He let out a shaky breath. He did not just have a fucking wet dream. Of him and Illumina?! He let out a pained laugh, raising his shaking hands to press against his burning cheeks.

Oh, he is so, so fucked.

A small, horny part of him wondered what it would actually be like. To be fucked by your best friend.

The gentle, caressing hands, slow movements of bare hips meeting soft flesh of another, and the sounds of being brought so close to your edge echoing through each other’s ears sprung into his mind and he quickly shoved down that part of him.

At least until he realized he still had his… problem. He grimaced slightly.

Cold morning shower it is.

The frigid air of the apartment met his partially damp skin like a whiplash. He swore that if it got any colder he would be able to see his breath.

They really needed to get somebody to fix their heating system.

With a towel draped over his burnt caramel hair, a cream sweater hanging loosely on his body, and a pair of black sweats, he made his way into his roommate’s room. It was still quite early, meaning around 12 in the afternoon, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as he cracked open the other male’s door, slipping himself inside.

A head of dark, fudge hair peeked out from under the covers. The younger male smiled and stepped closer, watching as brown eyes slowly peeked open to look at him. The other blinked for a moment, trying to clear his muddled head, but then let out a low hum and moved the covers back enough for the chestnut-haired man to lay beside him.

The latter chuckled, sitting down and throwing his towel in the direction of Illumina’s chair. He didn’t know if it landed there or not, he was too busy pulling the sheets over his legs and then pulling Illumina into him.

The dark-haired man was warm, exceptionally warm, and Fruit felt him shiver at the younger’s freezing hands as one rested on his hip and the other began combing through his hair.

“Hands cold.” The other said, though it sounded very close to a whine and Fruit almost smirked.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, looking down at slightly chapped, strawberry lips. “Want me to make it up to you?” he asked, bringing the hand that was combing through fudge locks down to tilt the other’s chin up. A burst of confidence—and something unnamable to him— shot through his body.

Dark eyes looked soft and… pliable—dare he say submissive— as they stared into his hazel ones. Pupils blown slightly wide at the slight darkness in the room. His lips were open just a sliver, but then began to move as he talked.

“How?” he asked, his smooth voice now a bit raspy in the early morning hours. Fruit tilted his head to the side a bit, eyebrows raising as he made sure to slowly drag his eyes from chocolate irises down to his lips.

Illumina’s eyes widened in the slightest, his face heating up as a blush bloomed on his face. Fruit couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh,” he said, letting out a hazy, nervous giggle, peeling his eyes away from the man before him. But he swallowed and looked back to him, a fake wall of confidence building. “I mean, I guess that would suffice.”

Fruit smirked and Illumina felt something in his body coil at the sheer beauty of it.

“You’re too cute.” He said, but before Illumina could retaliate, Fruit’s lips were pressing against his.

He was surprised at first, but instantly melted into it as Fruit gripped his hip and pulled him even closer.

The kiss was gentle, soothing, a whole painting of colors and emotion as their lips moved against each other. Similar to the sweet ones that they often shared with each other whenever they got the chance, or simply felt like it.

But the kiss became tinted with wine-red as Illumina felt teeth nip at his bottom lip.

Dangerous territory is what his mind yelled at him as a shiver shot down his spine. But he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Maybe it was the sleepiness, maybe it was the soft hand cradling the small of his back, or maybe it was just Fruit’s influence over him that made him lose himself.

He let a small smile form on his face as he opened his mouth slightly. He knew Fruit felt it. A tongue hesitantly slipped past his lips, making Illumina let out a small noise at the back of his throat. He heard Fruit let out a soft laugh and Illumina was about to retort, but the hand that was under his chin began to slither back up into his hair.

What really killed him, though, was the tongue that began to explore his mouth even more. He let out another noise as Fruit pushed down onto his lips a bit harder, the hand running through his hair resting on his neck as he pulled closer.

Illumina slowly lifted his hands up. One dragging up Fruit’s chest and the other resting on his cheek.

The kiss began to heat up more, turning into a small make-out session.

Then the hand on his hip came up to his shoulder, applying gentle pressure to make his back to the mattress.

Then the tongue receded, Fruit lifting away from him; though his teeth clamped down on Illumina’s bottom lip, pulling it off of his teeth before releasing it, watching it bounce back. Both panting slightly from the lack of oxygen.

Hazel eyes gazed down his face and body. One of Fruit’s knees between his legs and one hand holding him against the mattress with the other propping him up beside Illumina’s head.

His lips were spit-slicked and slightly swollen, Illumina licked his own and the taste of cherry hit his tastebuds. He found Fruit’s eyes tracing the movement and he couldn’t help but squirm slightly under his gaze.

Illumina’s thumb brushed against Fruit’s cheekbone; his other hand had moved to trail up the other’s bicep in a way that made Fruit shiver slightly above him.

It was nice. Their bodies being this close, the warmth shared between them, their gazes sometimes trailing down, but mostly staying locked into each other’s eyes. But it was also… steamy. A kind of fun that he hadn’t shared with anyone in a long time. He felt the touches, burning his skin just right.

But he also felt safe.

Safe under Fruit’s hold. Safe when he finally let’s go of the walls he’s been holding up. He just felt safe.

Fruit quirked a brow as a smile came to Illumina’s face, seemingly contagious as one tugged his own lips up.

“What?” he asked, tone soft. Illumina just shook his head, eyes looking to Fruit’s cherry lips once more.

“Nothing.” He said, the smile still on his face as he gently pulled Fruit’s face closer to his, pressing their foreheads together.

“Ok, mister Needy.” Fruit chuckled, lips brushing against Illumina’s.

“Wha- you started this.” Illumina said incredulously, making Fruit shrug and press his lips into Illumina’s once more.

“I can’t help it.” He murmured, making Illumina flush as Fruit took his bottom lip between his teeth once again, nibbling on it before sucking it slightly. Illumina tried to hold back an embarrassing noise that begged to slip past, but ultimately failed.

Fruit pulled back once again and Illumina tried to turn his head away, trying to avoid the amused look the other was giving him. He sucked in a shaky breath as a kiss was pressed to his neck, trailing up to gently bite at the soft flesh under his ear. A satisfied sigh left his lips.

Then, as Fruit pulled away, the hand that rested on his shoulder came up to rest on his jaw, tilting his head back towards Fruit. A small half-smile, half-smirk resting on his face.

“You’re so cute.” He said before gently dipping his head in again, lips moving against Illumina’s once again.

The dark-haired male shivered under him, opening his mouth wider as the other slipped his tongue in once again. Illumina dared to take a risk, mouth closing around Fruit’s tongue slightly as he began to suck on it.

This elicited a small moan from the man above him, making Illumina smile as the noise rattled across his chest, fueling the fire in his veins.

Illumina released Fruit and he pulled away once again. The slightly older male laughed at the flushed expression of the other, making Fruit try to conceal a smile.

“Well, that’s one way to wake up.” Illumina said, blossoms still sprouting on his cheeks.

“I’d say one of the best ways, personally.” Fruit responded, releasing Illumina from where he was basically pinned to the bed as he leaned back. Illumina let out a small laugh, sitting up to stretch his back out. At the many cracks and pops, he let out a sigh of relief.

Fruit stared at him with a gentle smile, sitting with one foot tucked under him and his head resting on his other knee.

“What?” Illumina asked, dark eyelashes fluttering as he blinked.

“Nothing.” The dark-haired male cocked a brow, crossing his arms over his chest. Fruit laughed.

“Am I not allowed to look at you?” Illumina let out a fake scoff, holding a hand up and turning his head away.

“Ugh, never. How dare you lay your peasantry eyes on me?” he said, making Fruit let out a huff of laughter, knocking Illumina’s hand away to stare at him once again with those beautiful hazel eyes.

With bursts of green at the center, reaching out to blend into a honey-speckled cocoa that shone in the white light of the window.

They drew Illumina in, suffocating him in their gentle warmth.

“You have very pretty eyes.” He stated, leaning forward a bit to get a bit closer. Fruit blinked, cheeks heating up in a scarlet blush and he let out a laugh, averting his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that sparkled with specks of magnificent gold and emerald.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, looking back at Illumina when he laughed.

“You’re welcome.” A warm smile formed on strawberry lips before he slipped his legs off of the bed, Fruit watching him with analyzing eyes. “Now out. I need to get dressed.” Illumina said, standing up and motioning to his sleep shorts and shirt. Fruit stayed put, not moving besides propping his head on his hand, looking at Illumina amusingly with a smirk.

Illumina scowled. “So, you’d rather see me naked than get out for a few minutes?” He said, looking at Fruit with a quirked brow. The other seemed to startle, mouth falling open for a second before he seemingly regained his composure.

“Maybe I would.” He purred, the nervousness from before slipping away faster than it came.

Now it was Illumina’s turn to startle. Fruit burst out laughing at his look of pure shock.

“You absolute menace!” Illumina shouted, suppressing a giggle, “Scram!” his finger whipped to the door as a traitorous smile bloomed on his face.

Fruit groaned, rolling his eyes and standing up, “Aw, but—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Illumina grumbled, false anger showing through. Fruit just laughed, stepping as close as he could get to Illumina as he passed. His semi-broad shoulders brushing Illumina’s.

“A shame, really.” Fruit said to Illumina, passing him with a sly smirk. The he let out a yelp as a hand connected with the back of his head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Pervert.” Fruit only snorted at that, taking his leave and stepping out the door, shutting it behind himself.

Illumina opened the door a minute later, Fruit getting up from the island stool and sauntering back in. He flopped down onto Illumina’s bed once again.

“Wanna smoke later tonight or in an hour or two? Up to you.” he asked, eyeing the dark-haired male as he sat down at his computer.

“Maybe later tonight, I wanna just chill in here for a bit. It’s cold as hell.” Illumina said, a black sweater and adidas joggers making up his outfit. The fabric kept the Canadian cold away from his arms and legs, but his hands turned a shade of blue as he rubbed them together for warmth.

Fruit hummed in acknowledgement, pulling out his phone to scroll mindlessly through social media. Illumina looked at him for a moment, hickory eyes scanning over his body. For some reason it was nice to see Fruit just laying on his bed. Comfortable.

That’s how it has always been with the two of them.

Being so very comfortable in each other’s presences. Whether it was lounging in the other’s room or cuddling after a long, hard, or sick day. It was a blessing in and of itself. Holding each other was something that both of them enjoyed enough to be comfortable enough to do it whenever.

Of course, the kissing was a new thing… but Illumina was far from against it.

Illumina smiled and turned his chair around to start up Minecraft.

About two hours into Illumina’s speedruns, Fruit hopped up, declaring himself bored of his phone and going out to make some ramen, offering the slightly older male some as well. Illumina accepted, very grateful due to the fact that he literally woke up and started playing a video game.

Fruit came back around half-an-hour later with two bowls of ramen and two water bottles. As well as a pack of blunt papers and a small bag with a handful of weed nugs stashed inside.

“Lunch is served.” He said, setting one bowl of ramen and bottle on Illumina’s desk; moving to sit on the bed afterwards. Illumina thanked him, closing out of a dead run—the piglin trades had gone on for 2 minutes too long—and turning around in the chair to face Fruit while he took a sip of water and began eating his food.

“Any good runs while I stepped out?” Fruit asked, hazel eyes glancing up at Illumina’s frame.

“You were out there for like, 30 minutes.” He replied, a dead pan look on his face. Fruit blinked, looking to the clock on Illumina’s nightstand.

“Huh. Felt like longer.” He mumbled, furrowing his brow and turning back to the other, “Plus, you are literally god-like; could’ve gotten sub 20 while I was out.”

“You would’ve heard me screaming from outside the apartment.” He said and Fruit laughed, saying a small ‘fair enough’ and continuing to eat.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of the meal. When they were done, Fruit took their bowls into the kitchen; Illumina protested at first, but Fruit looked at him with a look that made a fire ignite in his chest, taking the bowl from his hands.

The chestnut-haired man came back into the room with a sinister smile. Illumina was sat cross-legged on his chair, taking a lighter out of one of the drawers and playing with it for a bit, the flame flickering in and out with the burst of sparks.

He then looked up at Fruit with a look of suspicion.

“I thought you said you were fine doing it later?” Coca eyes narrowed and he watched as Fruit held back a smirk, biting the inside of his cheek.

“So, you wanna do it later, too?” Fruit said, ivory teeth shining through soft lips in a coy smile. Illumina scowled once again, looking at Fruit with false anger.

“Menace. You know what I meant.”

“I don’t know, Illu, did I?” he asked, walking to plop down on the bed on his ass, propped up on his elbows with an eyebrow quirked. The aforementioned flushed at the look, palms becoming itchy as he flicked the lighter once again. He scoffed, turning from the younger male with an exaggerated eye roll.

“Children.” He mumbled, loud enough for Fruit to hear, earning him an empty water bottle flying past his head and smacking against the wall in front of him. “Hey! Watch it.” He said, whipping around once again to see Fruit with a smug look.

“And wipe that look of your face while you’re at it.” He said, trying to sound threatening, but the smile building on his face told otherwise.

“Why don’t you come over here and wipe it off for me?” He quipped, head cocking to the side. An invitation. A tease.

“I—” Illumina cut himself off. A surge of confidence ran through him and his hands shook with anticipation as he stood up. Fruit looked shocked for a second as Illumina walked forward towards him. But as soon as he neared, Fruit sat up, the smug look back on his face.

Now with their current position, Illumina looked down at Fruit, cheeks warm as the other’s head only came up to his chest, looking up with amusement-filled hazel eyes.

“You.” He said, pressing a finger into Fruit’s forehead, tilting his head back, “Are a menace.”

“But you love me.” He responded, and suddenly hands hesitantly rested on the back of his thighs, making his knees press onto the mattress between Fruit’s legs.

The younger whistled lowly, earning him a flick to the forehead.

Illumina seemed to stare down at Fruit for a moment, dark eyes narrowing.

Then he hesitantly lifted a hand to rest on Fruit’s shoulder and another sliding down to cup his cheek. He leaned down slightly, pausing right before his lips met Fruit’s. He waited for Fruit to close the distance, and when he did, he smiled into the kiss.

It was still as gentle as before, but every time Fruit tried to move their lips faster, Illumina slowed down his movements even further.

He could feel the other getting more impatient. His blood boiled in anticipation, his heart speeding up. Fruit’s lips became more desperate, chasing Illumina’s.

Then the one beneath him let out a huff of air and Illumina yelped into his mouth as the grip on his thighs tightened, pulling him closer to where he almost fell forward. He braced himself up with a hand beside Fruit’s head. Their lips split as Fruit’s back landed on the mattress, Illumina hovering above him though the grip on his thighs didn’t loosen. In fact, they slid up even higher, fingers pressing into his skin.

Fruit looked at him with impatience. “Tease.”

Illumina laughed, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his lips before sitting up to the position he was before, he felt Fruit’s fingers twitch.

“No, just completing my challenge.” He said back, a sly grin on his face. Fruit huffed.

“I’ll remember that, then.” He said before winking. Illumina cocked a brow, pointedly ignoring the heat that rose to his face.

“What does that entail?” Fruit chuckled, the tone making a familiar feeling spider-walk down his spine.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” He purred, thumbs rubbing circles into his thighs. Illumina bit his tongue as hazel eyes dragged themselves down his body, their close proximity making him blush like a little school girl.

Then the grip on his thighs fell, Fruit letting him go in order to scoot up to sit at the head of the bed, offering up the spot he was in to Illumina. The dark-haired male took it gratefully, sitting on the bed with burning thighs and cheeks. He brought his hands up to cover his face as the thoughts of doing something more than that ran through his mind.  

It felt… oddly domestic. This whole day did. Illumina’s heart stuttered for a second.

Was… did Fruit feel like that? Or were they just… doing the whole friends with benefits kind of thing? His brain clogged at that thought. If… was Fruit just joking about doing that?

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft hand pulling his own away from his face. Hazel eyes looked at him worriedly.

“You okay? Did I go too far?” Illumina’s stomach dropped at the tone of Fruit’s voice. He shook his head swiftly.

“No, no, no. That was perfectly fine. I didn’t mind it.” He said, a soft smile on his face. “I promise I’d tell you if I was uncomfortable with something.” Fruit seemed to relax at that, his shoulders dropping and a sigh escaping him.

“Okay, you scared me there. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do this anymore.” He said, pulling Illumina towards him and pressing a kiss to strawberry lips.

“Jeez,” Illumina said against Fruit’s lips with a smile, “it’s like you’re addicted to kissing me.” He said with a laugh.

“Hm. Maybe.” He said, pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth before letting Illumina pull back.

Illumina clicked his tongue, reaching for the pack of Dutches, ripping the foil rapping off with minimal struggle and pulling the blunt paper out.

Fruit had already started working on getting the stems separated from the nugs, the smell of weed already drifting into Illumina’s senses.

He spread out the tobacco strip gently, flattening it with practiced ease. Fruit tossed a notebook into his lap from somewhere, one already laying across his lap. Illumina thanked him and started flattening out the corners better, preparing it for weed to be piled onto it.

Fruit carefully handed him some weed, Illumina taking them and spreading it onto the blunt paper.

When he deemed it good enough, he picked it up, gently taking his time to roll it up, one side smaller than the other as to make sure they knew which side to inhale from.

Once the sides were wrapped together, Illumina took his time to make sure that no part was bent or crooked, he peeled the side back a bit, sticking his tongue out and slowly dragging it across the paper. The taste of tobacco tasted tacky on his tongue and he licked it again before pressing it down.

He felt eyes on him, and he picked his head up slightly, meeting a wide-eyed Fruit with flushed cheeks. His hands had stilled from pulling apart the weed.

“What?” Fruit flinched back into the present, Illumina watched as he blinked, his hazel eyes glossed over.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” He said, smiling sheepishly. Illumina looked at him with a suspicious look before dropping it.

They took the next 45 minutes carefully rolling blunts, making extra for the next time. But they ultimately had two blunts for tonight. Illumina knew that Fruit would smoke most of it, he usually passed on his turns, letting Fruit enjoy himself.

It was better than feeling it himself. Mostly because if he smokes by himself, it makes him get all paranoid and twitchy, but Fruit’s presence calms him down tremendously, making him relax and feel much better.

“Wanna order some pizza?” Illumina asked, looking up at Fruit. The other was leaned against the wall, zipping up the bag of blunts and placing it on the nightstand. He nodded silently, sending him a smile and tossing Illumina his phone.

“Meat lovers and cheese?”

“You know it.” Fruit said, leaning back to watch as Illumina’s fingers flew across the screen, ordering the pizza from the app and entering his information.

“Alright, it should be here in 30 minutes.”

“Pog.”

Illumina snorted, falling to the side to lay in the fetal position comfortably.

Fruit watched carefully, dragging his hazel eyes down and along the supple curves of the other. No matter what, Illumina would always be beautiful to Fruit. His lips pulled upwards.

He was… lucky to have him in his life. Whether it was just as a friend or someone, something more. And even if he told Illumina how he felt whether the male pushed him away or kept him close, reciprocating his… love? He knew that he would always consider himself lucky to just have Illumina in his life.

Heat bloomed in his chest; a steady, unwavering heat that circulated love and things akin to it through his blood.

He should just say it. He really should. Just admit it right here, right now.

I love you.

That was it. Three godforsaken words that ate into his head and heart. Three words that made him queasy, his tongue heavy in his mouth and pain spread throughout his temples, pounding into his forehead.

He opened his mouth. He needed to say this, to tell him. The truth weighed him down. The fear was there, seeping into his very being as his breath seemed to stutter in his throat.

He sucked in a shaky breath. Come on. Come on.

But right as he forced himself to speak, Illumina sat up. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed; dark, savory eyes not once meeting his analyzing hazel ones. He walked over to his desk, picking up the lighter that he left on it before turning back around. Sparks flew a few times before a small flame lit up.

Fruit swallowed, his throat bobbing as he willed himself to speak.

“I- You could’ve asked me for mine.” He said, trying to make his voice not sound as forced. Those deep, dark eyes met his and Fruit reached into his pocket, pulling out a lime-colored lighter. Fitting to his brand.

Illumina only smiled, shrugging a bit as he sat back down. “I know.” Was all he said, looking to Fruit with a gleam in his eyes. A look that held much more weight than the words he spoke.

He had no doubt that the look clouding his hazel eyes told the same story.

Fruit bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes to the pack of blunts on the nightstand. He grabbed it, opening the seal with a snap and snatching one. The smell of tobacco-muted-weed hit his nose. Refreshing in a way.

He held it out to Illumina, a silent question. The male sent him another look, this time one that he couldn’t decipher before taking the blunt and flicking his lighter a few times. Fruit watched with half-lidded eyes, wrapping a blanket around himself, as Illumina took his time with lighting the blunt. Making sure that it didn’t burn too much on one side or the other before he put the lighter down.

A small pillar of smoke already rose into the air from the blunt. He could already smell the faint scent of the drug as Illumina looked to him, bringing the blunt to soft, strawberry lips, and took a drag. The end of the blunt lit up as oxygen passed through it, but soon slowed back down to only having a few glowing molten specks as Illumina pulled away. He coughed a tiny bit, as to be expected from a first hit. 

Fruit sucked in the sight as Illumina inhaled the contents once again, scooting closer towards Fruit. A lazy smile grew on his face as he looked into golden-flecked eyes, then blew his smoke out of his mouth, directly into Fruit’s face with a coy smirk tugging at his lips. Fruit remained unfazed, only the hints of a smirk ghosted his lips as he spoke.

“So, you wanna play that game, huh?” he grabbed the blunt that Illumina held out to him, speaking before he placed his lips onto it, “Next time how about you blow it into my mouth, hm?” He gave the other male no time to spout an answer before he took the end of the blunt in his lips and inhaled.

The burning sensation of the first hit cascaded down the back on his throat, the smoke already glazing his mind over smoothly as he pulled off, inhaling the smoke down into his lungs even more.

But even over all of that, he couldn’t stop himself from tasting the slight strawberry left on the tip of his lips. He blew the smoke downwards, though some drifted in Illumina’s direction. Just as he planned.

The dark-haired male cringed; eyebrows pointed downwards slightly as a cat-like smile formed on Fruit’s face. But the look soon faded as he watched Fruit take another hit, passing it back. Fruit seemed to remember something then, standing up with a curse and slipping out of the room.

Illumina took his share of hits of the blunt, coughing out a laugh as he heard a bang and yelp of pain from the other room.

Hazel eyes returned, a pout on his beautiful face. “I stubbed my toe.” He whined and then Illumina noticed what he held in his grasp. An ashtray made of hardened black resin with strokes of sparkles that gleamed in the light occasionally.

“Want me to kiss it all better?” Illumina asked, feigning sadness as smoke came out of his mouth, pushing into the air in magnificent swirls. Fruit let out a huff, sitting back next to Illumina on the bed, lying back against the wall once again. He set the ashtray between them and Illumina flicked the blunt, ash falling onto it.

“Didn’t know you had a foot fetish.” Fruit yelped as a hand collided with his arm, a small hit that made him smile down at Illumina. The blunt was then handed back to him, the soft paper resting on the pads of his fingertips.

He took another inhale, breathing in through his nose to try and limit the hurt that his throat would feel in a second. He held the smoke in until his head began to spin, releasing it into the air. He suppressed a cough, but Illumina noticed, sitting up and swinging off the bed once again.

“I’m gonna get some more water, don’t die.” He said, Fruit only rolled his eyes—affectionately—and watched as Illumina slipped out of the door.

He felt his face begin to heat up. Not because he was flustered, but because of the blood the rushed to his head, his eyelids becoming heavy as his eyes no-doubt became bloodshot.

His cheeks flushed and he let a lazy smile onto his face. He knew it was setting in as he laid his head back against the wall. He took another hit, waiting for Illumina to get back with water. He suppressed another cough as the smoke brushed against his throat once more. It was less harsh than the first two, but still burned slightly.

The door groaned as it was pushed open. Three bottles of water were held in Illumina’s hands, his own eyes had the slightest gleam of glossiness that Fruit knew well. The other’s golden skin on his cheekbones was lit up in the tiniest drop of color and Fruit smiled.

“Here you go, idiot.” He said softly, holding out a bottle for Fruit as he set the others on the foot of the bed. Fruit took the bottle with a dopey smile, cracking it open and chugging half of it, relishing in the icy relief it brought to his throat.

“Thank you, lovely.” He said, handing Illumina the blunt; the latter took it with little hesitance, already feeling the heat in his head, and took a few hits for himself.

“That’s a new one.” He mused, looking over to Fruit through the haze of smoke that hung in the air—having yet to move into the other corners of the room. Fruit hummed, mulling over his words half-heartedly.

“Yeah, I mean it though.” Illumina smiled affectionately, tilted his head a bit as Fruit continued. “You’re just like… lovely to be around. Your presence, you know?” Hazel irises drifted upwards to look at him. They shone in the pinkness of his sclera’s. Even through the gloss of his eyes, his eyes shone brightly, passion lighting up his every word.

“Yeah. Thank you, I guess you’re not so bad to be around either.” He said, a shy smile creeping onto his face. Fruit looked taken aback for a moment, watching as Illumina took another drag, smoke billowing from his nose as he exhaled.

“Is that a good or bad thing? Because if it’s good, then good.” He trailed off, still peering at Illumina through half-lidded eyes. “I don’t know where I was going with that.” Illumina just laughed, handing Fruit the blunt once more.

The chestnut-haired male’s eyes widened as he took the blunt with grace, sitting up straight. Illumina just shook his head, though it made the world spin for longer than he was expecting.

They sat on the bed, chatting idly and gleefully. As gleefully as two non-sober men could be as they pushed down the constant want for each other. Tasting each other’s lips on the blunt as they handed it back and forth until it was a short roach that Fruit pressed half-heartedly into the bottom of the ashtray.

Ashes smothered on the onyx bottom, small embers still burning, and he felt mesmerized by the soft glow. So much that Illumina looked at him and laughed gently; not all there in his unsober mind.

Fruit’s gaze slowly traveled to Illumina as time seemed to slow.

The dark-haired male’s back rested slightly against the wall, turned on his side as he looked up through the slight haze of smoke.

Stars reflected the beauty of his dark hickory eyes. Attracting all the light in the room until they swallowed Fruit whole. So much that Illumina’s gaze became downturned.

The heat that filtered onto his tan cheeks made Fruit’s eyebrows rise and a smirk bloom on his face. He couldn’t hold eye contact. How cute.

Illumina looked back up as Fruit started to snicker—though it was a bit slurred as the high meddled with his brain.

“What?” He asked, confusion glittering in his eyes.

“Nothing.” Fruit mumbled, “You’re just cute.” He paused once again before tacking on, “And pretty.”

Illumina snorted, rolling his eyes. “You’re high.”

“High minds say sober thoughts.” Fruit said, tilting his head back as his eyes flutter closed.

“It’s ‘drunk minds say sober thoughts’ ding-dong.” He giggled. And if that didn’t make Fruit’s heart stutter… he didn’t really know what did.

“It’s still true.” He mumbled, eyebrows pinching before softening again.

“Thank you.” Illumina said, laying his head down on his arm. He lifted his hand to idly trace his finger over Fruit’s thigh.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re pretty too.” Fruit rumbled out a laugh, relaxing into Illumina’s touch. He sighed out a thanks, hazel eyes still drifting beneath thin eyelids.

They glided into a comfortable silence. Fruit’s thigh and leg buzzed as Illumina’s movement slowed but didn’t stop. His mind became glazed over even more, filling him with a sort of burning that melted into his core. Molten lava coursed through his veins.

He let out an involuntary, admittedly, almost-sensual sounding sigh. Illumina briefly paused his moments for a second.

“You like that?” he mumbled, a smile stretching onto his face before he continued his movements, albeit more slowly, much to Fruit’s disdain—or pleasure.

“Feels… good.” He slurred, a lazy smile on his face as he looked  down at Illumina with glossy hazel eyes. Illumina huffed a half-hearted laugh, letting himself be taken over by Fruit’s beauty.

The latter sat up a bit, grabbing the ashtray and moving it to the nightstand. He turned back to face Illumina. A sudden, random thought popped into his mind.

“We should get a cat.” He stated firmly; as firmly as a high-yet-suddenly-very-adamant person could be.

Illumina quirked a brow, sitting up on his elbows. His hand fell off of Fruit’s thigh—no, he didn’t miss the touch of the other… yes, yes he did.

“Why so?” Fruit giggled, suddenly finding it very funny for absolutely no reason.

“Because!” he said, “I want a cat.”

“Our apartment doesn’t allow cats, Fruit.” He paused to think, “Or any animals, for that matter.”

Fruit pouted, in all his high glory, with a frown on his face as he brought his arms up to cross across his chest.

“That’s bullshit.” He stated. Illumina though he looked like a fussy child. “And” he started turning to the other, “how—why do you always sound so smart when you’re fucking high.” He stumbled over his words for a second, making Illumina let out a laugh, propping his head up in order to bring one hand to swirl around Fruit’s kneecap.

“I dunno,” hazel eyes narrowed at him, “High minds say… sober thoughts?” he mused, wincing as he tried a smile.

Fruit’s pouting act instantly swept up into a look of ‘really?’ and Illumina couldn’t help but choke on another giggle.

“I don’t know, man. I’m just, that cool I guess.” Fruit snorted at that, uncrossing his arms to sit up, closer to Illumina.

“If you’re cool, then I’m fucking… Technoblade.” He mumbled, rubbing at his temples a bit. Illumina frowned, ignoring their earlier conversation in order of sitting up and reaching up and across Fruit’s lap to grab the bottle of water on the nightstand.

He knew there were more on the foot of the bed, but that one was Fruit’s, and he didn’t feel like reaching down.

He handed the bottle to Fruit, who hesitated for a moment before taking it.

Seeing Illumina spread across him like that, his body heat rippling into his semi-cold legs, feeling him, made a shiver zip down Fruit’s spine.

He took a few gulps of water before capping it and setting it back down on the nightstand. His hands felt numb, and for a moment it was all he could focus on, stretching his fingers out while biting his cheek to hold back a stupid smile that was trying to etch it’s way onto his face.

Illumina giggled, watching the chestnut-haired man try and hold back his laughter as he extended his fingers carefully.

“What are you doing, you goof?” he asked, crossing his arms over Fruit’s thigh and resting his head down, but still keeping a watchful, bloodshot eye on the younger.

“Nothing…” he drawled out, lowering his hand and looking down into swirling fudge eyes. “Nothing other than your mom.” He burst into laughter, though his movements were slightly slowed.

Illumina couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“You’re a menace. Complete ‘n utter menace.”

“But you love me.”

A sigh.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

Chapter Text

The rest of their evening had gone well. And now the sun dipped below the horizon, showering them in darkness aside from the light of Illumina’s monitor and the dim, bedside lamp.

They turned on their high playlist, that Fruit specifically made for them, and the boosted bass in the songs rumbled throughout Illumina’s room.

Some of the songs they ‘sang’ along to, some of them they just listened. And some of them had fell to the background as Illumina took a chance to pull himself up to Fruit’s face and press a kiss to his lips.

At this point, the room was efficiently hot-boxed. A haze of smoke coated the entire room. Just as a haze of high and something akin to lust filled both of their eyes.

Illumina’s hands gently trailed up Fruit’s chest from his spot tucked into his side. But even as he trailed them up, they were blocked from skin due to the thick sweater that dressed him.

So, when he got the sudden—very high—urge of confidence, he slipped his hands beneath the rim of the soft fabric hesitantly. He and Fruit both let out a relieved sigh.

Then, when his arms fell into an uncomfortable position as he traced Fruit’s ribs, he sat up and Fruit gripped his thighs, helping him to sit on his legs, right below his hips.

It was soft, gentle. But that was only due to the dam holding back those lustful actions. But it didn’t suppress the fluttering of his heart as thoughts of him atop of Fruit flashed through his mind.

But he didn’t stop himself from pushing Fruit’s shirt up, exposing his stomach and chest to the warm temperature of the room, and Illumina’s gaze.

The man below him shivered and clamped his mouth shut as Illumina dragged his hands down his sides.

“You look so good like this.” Illumina muttered, looking up at Fruit’s face to see that hazel eyes were clamped shut, eyebrows creasing as his head tilted back. A blush ran across his face as a whine rang from the back of his throat.

Illumina laughed lightly, stopping his hands on Fruit’s hips, drawing circles into his skin and pressing his fingers into the soft flesh. It was right above Fruit’s v-line where he held, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from dragging downwards.

But even through the haze in his mind, a thought snapped through him, and he tore his eyes away. No way in hell was he letting something like this happen when he was high.

He wanted to be sober. He wanted to feel everything. He wanted to remember all of the sounds and looks that Fruit gave out or expressed.

And then, like a bullet through his chest, a thought.

What if Fruit would never want something like that with him?

His clouded and distant mind scrambled for excuses or something, at least, to stop the barrage of harsh thoughts that came with the thought.

What if he was making Fruit uncomfortable?

What if he would think that he is disgusting for even thinking of that?

What if—

“Lumina?” Fudge eyes instantly shot up from where they rested on Fruit’s chest. He realized his hands had slowed to a stop and he had been sitting on top of Fruit, utterly still.

“Yeah?” he asked, caressing Fruit’s hipbone with his thumbs as a subconscious apology.

“You okay?” Oh god, oh fuck.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Just thinking.”

“Bout what?”

You. Hating me.

“That… I’m tired. But I— yeah, I’m just tired.”

Tired of these thoughts that constantly plague my mind. Tired of your beautiful face making me feel so much pain and fear because I love you so, so much. I’m tired of being scared of what you’ll say when I tell you what I really want.

Because what he really wants was Fruit.

He wanted to love him. He wanted to show that he cared in more ways than just kissing or being there.

He wanted them.

He wanted to be able to call Fruit his.

And he wanted Fruit to call him ‘mine.’

And it wasn’t just for the title of ‘partners.’ It was for the feeling.

The feeling of coming alive once again.

“Are you sure?” Fruit looked up at him with those beautiful, worried hazel eyes.

Illumina opened his mouth to respond, but as soon as he did, he felt his eyes begin to burn.

He hated it. He hated being an emotional high when prompted.

He hated as he felt a tear slip down his face as he shook his head, bringing a hand up to wipe it away. But his wrists were gripped firmly, and he was gently pulled forward, his legs straddling the sides of Fruit’s waist as he scooted closer.

He hated as Fruit’s soft fingers slid under his eyes, wiping away his tears with a feather-light touch.

He hated as Fruit’s hands then came down to rest on his hips as Illumina looked at him through teary eyes. He felt like a child.

But he couldn’t stop the fluttering of his heart when Fruit offered him a smile. A genuine, soft smile. It made him melt into Fruit. Leaning his head down, head nestled under his chin.

He hated it.

The way that Fruit’s hands came up to rub his back, trailing down to circle his thighs and back up again.

The kiss pressed to the top of his head.

The small murmurs of what he could only guess was praise or reassurance.

The tears, he thought, were short. But each time he thought about who he was leaning against, feeling pressed against his burning body, his high, muddled mind could only tell him about how much of a failure he was, and more tears welled and fell from his eyes.

A failure for letting himself fall for this beautiful, young, amazing, brilliant man under him.

Then his mind let a single sentence of Fruit’s break through his cloud of distaste for himself.

“I love you.” Fruit let out a sob, saying the words into his hair.

“I love you.” He repeated, voice shaky. Illumina found himself crying harder, uglier as he wrapped his hands around Fruit’s chest.

“I love you too.” Illumina cried out; voice quiet.

“I love you too much, Fruit.” He sobbed, pressing a kiss into his collar. “I love you so much it hurts.”

They both sat there, the marijuana’s influence slowly dissolving into nothing as they held each other.

“I love you too, Illumina. I love you so much.” Fruit whispered.

And somehow, some way, Illumina knew he it meant in more than just friends.

“I don’t—” Fruit cut himself off, “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Illumina found his tears stilling for a moment as he pulled back, eyes red-rimmed as they stared into Fruit’s own.

“I don’t want to be your 'roommate'. I don’t want to be best friends. I don’t want this.” He spoke.

Illumina felt his heart drop through the gaps in his ribs, shards of emotion giving way as his brain tried to fell with denial.

“I want… more than this.”

In an instant, his heart was back into it’s place. His brain became clear. And the thoughts of a future became transparent. A future where him and Fruit weren’t friends. But lovers.

“I—” Illumina started, but he was swiftly cut off by a thumb pressed to his bottom lip.

“Not tonight. But tomorrow, me and you will go somewhere. We’ll spend the whole day together. Just me and you. We’ll go wherever you want. And when we get back home…” the thumb on his lip pressed it down before pulling it away and it was replaced by Fruit’s soft, delicate lips.

“I’ll make you mine.” He whispered against his lips. “I’ll show you, prove to you that you’re mine. That I love you with every inch of me.” Illumina felt himself shudder against Fruit, his trembling hands gripping his sweater. “Sound good?”

He couldn’t manage words; so, he only nodded, his nose brushing Fruit’s.

A small smile bloomed on his face. Relief flooded him as if he had been shoved into the deepest of lakes, beneath the water, and taking it greatly as it drowned him in it’s warmth.

Because that’s all he could feel right now. Warmth.

“Good.” Fruit smiled, one hand slipping down to cup his thigh and the other resting on the small of his back.

Then Illumina leaned closer, closing the short distance between their lips, meeting them together in a crash of strawberry and cherry.

It held more weight than any other of their kisses before. It held anticipation. It held relief. But most of all… it held love.

And Illumina couldn’t be more grateful.

Because he loved Fruit. With all of his being. And he didn’t know what he would do if the other didn’t feel the same.

But he voiced none of his concerns as Fruit pulled him flush against his body and leaned them back into the pillows, turning them so that Illumina was on his side on the soft mattress. Fruit still held him close, hands wrapped around his waist and a kiss pressed to his temple.

It was a few more minutes of cuddling before fatigue swept over the pair.

It had been a long day.

But… in the end it was a good one.

Illumina fell asleep held tight against Fruit’s body.

Fruit fell asleep holding Illumina tightly against him.

Both fell asleep with content smiles on their faces.

Chapter Text

The sputtering hum of the apartment’s AC system rumbled across the small room.

The smell of weed still hung in the air, but it was quickly cut off by the smell of pine and some other artificial smells that they added in men’s shampoo.

Hazel eyes opened slightly, flitting down to the head of soft, dark hair that was pressed flat under his chin.

His head spun a little from the previous night, but the memories were clear enough.

He knew what lead up to this position, Illumina tucked under his chin and pressed against him. He remembers the pain that did—and still does—surround him when those tears slipped down smooth skin. He truthfully wanted nothing more than to kiss away the hurt and insecurity the other felt, but he could make up for the lack of it later.

Instead, he pressed his nose into the soft and slightly greasy locks of brunet hair and inhaled, relishing in the scent of the man he held in his arms.

Hopefully the man that would agree to being his lover. Hopefully.

Hopefully those three words, the ones they had whispered to each other through shaky voices late into the night, hadn’t been the weed talking. He knew it wasn’t for him, anyways. He just hoped it was the same for the other. The other who he really did love so dearly and held closer to his heart than any other before.

He decided, in the haze of the morning sleepiness, that he could lay here forever and never move an inch. That is, only if Illumina let him.

He was content. More content than he had been in months, years even. And he figured that maybe this was part of maturing.

All of those shoddy, stupid high school flicks that never really mattered in the end, only taught you lessons on what not to do and how to spend your time.

He figured that the main answer to that was not wasting it in a ‘relationship’ that only taught you to spend your time better. Rather than wasting it on stressing and rumors and confusing hormones that were carelessly mistaken for emotions such as love.

But, such is life, and look where it brought him. Holding the man that he felt something that wasn’t just his hormones seeking out something to stick his dick in. To be fair, he didn’t even know he swung that way. But, again, such is life. And he couldn’t be more happy with where it landed him.

Lies, he could be much happier. Maybe with the title of ‘lovers’ or even just the experience of getting to bring the man before him to that sacred edge of release. All because of him.

But he was content, for now at least, to just lay in a bed that wasn’t his and cuddle with the one he felt such desperate emotions for.

The mid-morning sun shone through the blinds as they did every other morning, casting a honey-sweet softness onto anything it touched.

And the sun just so happened to grace the planes of the (slightly) taller’s face beautifully. So much that when he pulled away to get a better look, his breath caught in his throat.

Golden light of the morning was always a blessing. And maybe it wasn’t always a blessing to him specifically, but he could definitely count this as one that he wished he could snap a picture of.

Even more so when those beautiful, encapsulating eyes peered open, looking down into his own.

“Staring at people while they sleep is kind of creepy, don’t ‘cha think?” Illumina only smiled and reached a hand up to trace the slope of Fruit’s cheekbone.

“Not when they’re as pretty as you.” The dark-haired man snickered as Fruit’s cheeks lit up in color and a cringe spread across his face.

“That’s cheesy.”

Illumina only laughed as he stroked Fruit’s cheek.

He didn’t—couldn’t—forget the events that led the two to be in this position. He could practically still hear and see the quiet sobs of the other as tears rolled down his face. He could practically feel his own as well.

And he certainly couldn’t forget the promise that Fruit whispered. All of the things that it could entail. His core heated and coiled at the thought.

“I’ll make you mine.” He whispered against his lips. “I’ll show you, prove to you that you’re mine. That I love you with every inch of me.”

He almost shuddered at the thought, but he shoved it down, saved it for later; because he couldn’t imagine ruining the sacred, honey-sweet atmosphere that surrounded them both right now. Because no lust clouded in his hazel eyes and no core-rocking images passed through either of their minds.

It was just this. Them. Laying in his bed, cradled in each other’s arms and staring into each other’s  eyes.

Yeah… he could die right now and be happy with it. Fruit could shove a knife into his abdomen and Illumina would thank him.

Love. That’s what this was. He felt blossoms sprout in the air as he leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together and an even bigger smile forming on his face. He loved it. He loved it with every fiber of his being.

Fruit pressed their lips together and they rocked together in a slow, saccharine pace that only let room for passion and a bone-deep craving for the touch of the other.

He let himself be swallowed whole by Fruit’s touch. It was warm. Even in the cold atmosphere of the room, he was warm as he pressed himself against Fruit’s body.

He ran his fingers through chestnut hair as a hand gripped his waist slightly. A laugh pulled out of Fruit’s lips and passed onto Illumina’s.

“Certainly, one of the best ways to wake up.” Illumina smiled and pressed a finalizing kiss onto the other.

“That’s what I said.” He paused, smiling.

Because this was love. It was domestic and happy and full of passion. And Illumina never wanted it to end.

“I know. And now that I’m the one waking up to a kiss from the most beautiful man in the world—”

“That, is cheesy.” Illumina muttered.

“—I can gladly share that thought.” Fruit finished, a feline-like smile climbing onto his face and Illumina couldn’t help the flutter of his heart.

Fruit hummed, as if he could feel the rapid beats of Illumina’s heart.

“So, where would you like to go today?” The older brunet’s mind short-circuited.

“Uhm…” That was right. Fruit was taking him—him!—on a date today. And now, in the hazy thoughts of the morning, he had to decide where. “Well. Where would you?—”

“Nope. It’s all up to you. I’ll drive anywhere you want. You could say America and I would gladly drive all the way down to Florida.” Illumina’s brow furrowed. He wasn’t going to ask Fruit for something of that level. Though there was no sarcasm in his voice, just pure truth.

Where could they go? Obviously nothing outside, but nothing too lame. Anxiety nipped at his stomach, just like Fruit would nip at his lips, asking his permission to slip his tongue inside and dine on his mouth like a three-course meal.

Somewhere to eat breakfast? Maybe somewhere they could just sit and talk? Or maybe—

An idea struck him, and he smiled.

“How about the café that down the street?” He suggested, waiting for Fruit to give a reasonable excuse such as ‘how generic’ or ‘cringe.’ But it never came; the smile on his face going from a feline one to a soft one. Illumina’s stomach churned happily at it.

“That’s cute. I like it. When do you want to leave?” This time, Illumina hummed, thinking, but not too hard.

“In a little.” He said, smiling smugly as he pulled Fruit in for another kiss. He couldn’t get enough of those soft, cherry lips that slipped into an easy rhythm against his own.

Illumina shoved down nerves and bit softly against Fruit’s bottom lip. The other opened up for him instantly, letting him take the lead easily. Illumina laid a hand on Fruit’s shoulder, pushing him down into the mattress as he pushed his tongue past the other’s parted lips.

His heart fluttered once again as Fruit let out a guttural groan. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

He moved himself so that he hovered overtop of Fruit, the latter wrapping his arms around Illumina’s neck, elbows bending and pressing him closer.

His tongue explored Fruit’s mouth like he was searching for the spawner in a fortress. Did he just relate kissing Fruit to Minecraft? Yes, yes he did. Sue him.

His tongue slid over the back of his teeth, scraping against Fruit’s own, earning him another soft noise. Something else that he could never get over.

One of his hands held his body above Fruit’s own, but the other slipped under Fruit’s sweatshirt. The same one from yesterday, and if he wasn’t so in-deep, he could’ve smelt the weed on it. Just like he tastes the remnants of it on Fruit’s tongue and around his mouth.

Sparks danced behind his closed eyelids, and he reluctantly detached his lips from Fruit’s. They both panted slightly as Illumina hovered over Fruit. His heartbeat was thundering, and he silently wondered if Fruit could feel it. But he didn’t question it too much as Fruit looked up to him with those hazy hazel eyes that blessed his dreams.

“You look beautiful like this.” He remarked. Fruit flushed and averted his eyes, scoffing adoringly. His fingers glossed over Fruit’s ribs teasingly and he smiled at the pleased sigh that slipped from the other.

He leaned his head down, Fruit’s hands coming up to rest on his neck and card through the back of his hair. He kissed a line up the side of Fruit’s neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He slid his tongue out and dragged it up to just under Fruit’s ear, resting on the sensitive spot between the muscles.

He pressed down, allowing his lips to once again meet skin and he sucked slightly, making the grip in his hair tighten and a whine to resonate on the other’s tongue.

“Fuck.” Fruit whispered as he tipped his head back deeper into the pillows. Illumina responded by kissing up to under his jaw and nipping at the skin there, relishing in the pants from the other.

Though, after Fruit keened a high-pitched noise as he sucked a red spot onto the space above his Adams apple, his head was pulled away and a red-faced Fruit glared up at him.

“We can do this all you want later. For now, we get up, get dressed and go to that café.” Illumina laughed, “And, if this goes on for any longer, then we won’t be able to stop. And I’d rather save that till tonight.” This time, it was Fruit’s turn to laugh at Illumina’s heated face.

So, with that said, Illumina rolled off of Fruit and out of bed, stalking to the door and checking to see Fruit behind him, smirking down at him with a playful gleam in his eyes.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Illumina stated.

“After you get out, I’m taking one, so don’t steal all the hot water.” Fruit responded, stepping past Illumina, almost subconsciously slipping a hand down and then off of Illumina’s waist. The other stuttered for a second before huffing and opening the bathroom door and shutting it behind him with a click.

Illumina’s shower was quick, of course saving some hot water for Fruit because the water heater was the only damn thing in their apartment that seemed to be doing them the justice of working other than the electricity and Wi-Fi.

Fruit’s shower wasn’t timely either, just long enough to scrub the grease out of his hair and the smell of sweat and weed off of his body.

He wrapped a towel around his body and took the short walk back to his room where he had picked out his clothes. He definitely didn’t almost walk into Illumina’s room by accident.

He shut his door and walked over to his bed where he half-assedly threw his clothes onto his bed.

A white turtleneck and a semi-thick brown overcoat with black jeans and white shoes. A black scarf—definitely not stolen from Illumina—accompanied the outfit, pulling it all together.

He slid them on with little effort and only really struggled with getting his converse onto his feet. It was always a struggle and made many curses swirl around in his mind.

He stepped out of his room with his phone tucked into his back pocket and wallet in-hand. He gazed into the kitchen and leaned against the wall as he waited for Illumina to look up from his spot at the island, gazing at his phone with a smile twitching at his lips.

A black beanie rested snugly on his head with a navy hoodie and light jeans hugging his body, black and white sneakers on his feet. He seemed to be messaging someone from the looks of it. And, internally, Fruit pushed down the jealousy that flooded into his chest.

Eventually, Illumina’s cocoa eyes glanced up, doing a double take before his head snapped up and a smile bloomed across his face. It was contagious, like a yawn, because Fruit found one spreading across his face as he pushed off of the wall.

“Who you messagin’?” He asked, stalking behind Illumina to look over his shoulder. The screen of Discord met his eyes and his eyes instantly made out the profile picture of Feinberg. Then he focused on their messages:

Feinberg

you doing anything today?

Illumina

Yes, sorry :,)

Feinberg

you’re good, just wondering, lol

if you don’t mind me asking, what r u doing?

Illumina

Hanging out with Fruit

Feinberg

use protection lmao

Fruit snorted and Illumina rolled his eyes, typing out a snarky response—probably ‘fuck off’ or something—and shutting his phone off and slipping it into his back pocket before standing up.

“Ready?” Fruit asked and Illumina nodded, a giddy smile on his face. (Fruit did not find it adorable, shut the fuck up.)

“Wanna walk? Or would you rather drive for three seconds?” He asked, wanting to make sure with Illumina first. Illumina looked at him with a deadpan look before quirking a brow.

“Alright, alright, guess we’re walking.” He laughed, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

Illumina huffed a laugh before moving past him and opening up the door of their apartment. Fruit followed after him, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his overcoat. They stepped out of the apartment and into the elevator in the hallway.

This time, Illumina stood a bit closer to Fruit, their shoulders brushing with every nervous twitch. Fruit noticed this and slipped a hand down to rest on the small of Illumina’s back. He flinched slightly but relaxed into the touch, leaning into Fruit’s shoulder and Fruit felt his face heat up.

It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to both of them. Domestic, but not scary.

Tell the Fruit from a few months ago and he would’ve laughed in your face, covering up the nervousness that would’ve bloomed in his chest at even the thought of being any sort of domestic with his roommate. On the inside he would’ve crumbled into a small pile on the floor.

But now? He would travel the world for Illumina. Do anything to make him happy. Hell, if you told him to lie down on train tracks in front of a train he would’ve happily obliged if it meant that Illumina could feel a spark of joy in his heart.

Down bad? Nah. It was past that at this point, far past it.

The elevator dinged and Fruit lead them out of the elevator, his hand only slipping back into his pocket after they were close to the glass doors that led outside.

He opened it for both of them, and immediately, chilled air slapped them in the face. Illumina huffed as Fruit shuddered. But they both stepped into it, the coldness taking a second to seep into their clothes, but after a few seconds of walking side-by-side on the sidewalk, it hit them with the bone-deep ache.

If Illumina stepped a little closer to Fruit, you didn’t see anything.

The walk started out fine, their breath clouding and swirling in front of them. Then Fruit’s foot slipped on a patch of black ice that he had been reluctant to see, his focus was too busy on the side profile of Illumina’s frost-flushed face.

He barely had time to let out yelp of alarm before his ass was in the snow that lined the sides of the pavement. His hair fell in front of his eyes and his hands dug into the freezing snow.

Illumina spun to face him, eyes wide with alarm, but once he saw Fruit sitting there with an annoyed frown, he burst out laughing.

Fruit’s frown flipped into a smile that said ‘really?’ as Illumina’s cackles rang out across the street.

Eventually, Fruit tried to get up, but his foot slipped again, and Illumina had to grab his hand and pull him up. He mumbled out a gruff “thanks” and Illumina began laughing once again, his hand still clutching Fruit’s as they began walking again.

Fruit subconsciously linked their fingers together, gloved and ungloved, and his gaze flitted between the steps ahead and Illumina’s face.

“How did that even happen?” Illumina said between giggles. Fruit let out a huff of a laugh and shook his head.

“I was too busy staring at you.” He nudged the other in the ribs with his elbow, earning him a small shove before his words seemed to register in Illumina’s mind.

“What—you’re such a simp.” He laughed out, eyes shutting briefly as a gloved hand came up to cover his mouth as he laughed even harder, face flushing in a way that Fruit knew wasn’t from the cold. “And an idiot.”

Fruit only shrugged, the outside of his hand becoming numb, but his palm was warm in Illumina’s grasp.

They arrived at the café with minimal slip-ups. If you counted Illumina nearly slipping off the sidewalk and almost pulled them both into the snow and then Fruit reaching down to throw a handful of powdery snow at Illumina’s head. It caught in his dark beanie and ends of the hair that stuck out from under it and though he shook most of it out by now, some flecks still rested atop his head.

They arrived in front of the café and Fruit went forward and opened the door for the older. Illumina gave him a look, but stepped in anyway, a smile on his face.

The bell chimed and the worker behind the counter told them to find a seat and they’d be there in a moment. Fruit looked to Illumina.

“Wanna sit at a booth? Or at the counter?” Fruit asked, Illumina’s eyes flitted between the front counter of the café and the booth that lined the front, large windows giving enough natural light that vampires would cower in fear and shrivel up into ashy pulps in seconds.

“Hmm, tempting, but booth seems better.” Illumina mused, flashing a smile that made Fruit’s heart skip a beat. But he nodded and they both walked to a booth that was in the far corner. There was a few booths with couples and college students, but they were distanced from them. How cliché. Not that he was complaining.

They sat down onto the sage green cushioned seats opposite each other and waited for the female server to walk up to them to take their drink orders.

Fruit, of course got his usual order of coffee. Illumina ordered a tea that sounded fancy, and she gave them a polite smile before stepping away.

Fruit’s gaze turned back to Illumina.

Cocoa eyes flitted up to meet his.

In the murky light of the sun, Illumina’s brown eyes turned to a golden caramel that shone with happiness that he hadn’t been encouraged to look for in a while. The sheer beauty of them would have killed Fruit before, if he hadn’t known what was possibly to come. What he promised last night.

His dark eyelashes also caught the light perfectly, lighting them up and framing his almond-shaped eyes well. The shades of his skin turned a honey color and practically glowed. Or maybe it was just him. It was always said that love would do that to you; make you really recognize the beauty of the one you felt such sacred emotion for.

It never baffled him before, probably because he never truly experienced it before, but now as he stared at the slopes of Illumina’s face and his slightly crooked grin, Fruit’s mind blanked.

Illumina seemed to be in the same position. Eyes staring into his glowing hazel ones. He could now see the color that lit up high on his cheekbones.

Fruit smiled a nervous smile, averting his eyes to a car that drove past.

“I’m glad you agreed. To- to this I mean.” Fruit winced at the stumble in his words, but when he looked back, it was only fondness that decorated Illumina’s features.

“Of course.” He said easily. “Better than staying inside all day and speedrunning.”

“Woah, putting hanging out with me above speedrunning? Are you okay?” The end of his question ended in a laugh. Illumina’s brows pinched downward, but his cheeks twitched upwards.

“You’re an idiot.” A knowing gleam shone in half-lidded hazel eyes.

“But you love me.”

And there they were. Those words that he could never get sick of hearing.

Illumina only let out a short sigh, affection filling his voice.

“Yeah. And you love me too.” Fruit’s eyes widened in the slightest.

“Damn, got me there.” He shot back, hands coming up once again in surrender; Illumina rolled his eyes, but there was no negativity in it.

They fell into comfortable silence, Fruit looking around the place and Illumina gazing out the window.

“I’m surprised we don’t come here more often.” Fruit mused, sending a glance to the one who sat across from him. Illumina raised and lowered his eyebrows, turning his attention back to Fruit once again.

“We could. Go here more often, I mean.” He suggested, cocking his head a bit.

“Are you saying you’re gonna take me on more dates?” Fruit leaned forward a bit, propping his head up with a hand as a suggestive look donned his face. Illumina scoffed.

“What, you make one move and then I do the rest of the work? Seems kind of like a more 90 to 10 relationship we’ve got going on here.” Fruit’s face dropped into a glare that held no real bite to it.

“We’ll see what you’re saying after tonight then.” That feline smirk came back, and Illumina found himself stunned into silence. Silence that must’ve stretched for a bit too long because Fruit broke into soft laughter.

“You- you menace!” Illumina finally stuttered out and Fruit found himself laughing even harder.

After they both calmed down, the conversation smoothed into random topics before the waitress came back with their drinks and they ordered breakfast.

She stepped away once again and they were left to themselves and their drinks.

Illumina sipped his tea and Fruit watched with subtle intent, simply marveling at the sight of Illumina. He silently realized that if he and Illumina kept this ‘sitting across from each other’ shit up, it might become a problem for his streaming schedule.

He didn’t need to worry about his uploading schedule; that was barely even considered a schedule at this point anyway.

Fruit tore his gaze away to take a sip of his steaming coffee, accepting the expected burn of the liquid as it ran down his throat.

“You know, the fact that you ordered French toast doesn’t surprise me.” Illumina said, looking up through his lashes at Fruit. He had just pulled out his phone to message someone but decided that talking to Fruit was also kind of important on their first official date.

“Why is that?” Fruit asked.

“It just seems so… you.” He explained, gesturing vaguely with a hand. “And your love for powdered sugar over syrup.” He finished with a small laugh.

“Fair enough.” He looked away, but then shook his head incredulously and looked back. “Are you saying that I seem French?”

Illumina laughed and shook his head. “No. Definitely not. You just have the same… vibe as French toast?”

“What, because I’m sweet as hell?” He responded, quirking a brow with a smile.

“Yeah, lets go with that.” Illumina shrugged, biting back a coy smile as Fruit gaped at him.

“What the heck? I thought you loved me!” Illumina opened his mouth, but Fruit held up a hand, feigning hurt as he turned his head away dramatically. “I can’t believe that I take you on a date and then you just say something like that. Just say you hate me.”

“But I don’t.” Illumina shot back, leaning back into the cool cushions. “I could never hate your pretty face.” Fruit put his hand back down and looked back to Illumina.

“Oh, shut up.” He laughed, blush dusting his cheeks.

“Nah. I can’t, and I won’t, because it’s true.”

Fruit clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Illumina said, fondness coating his voice and features. It made Fruit’s heart be faster than he was willing to admit.

Breakfast was served to them soon after. They ate in relative silence, only filled with the idle sounds of the café and every time they commented on how good the food was.

Illumina had caught swirling hazel eyes staring at him once again and he looked up. “What?” he asked, though it was slightly muffled through the eggs and bacon in his mouth.

“Nothing.” Was all Fruit responded before peeling his eyes away and looking back down to his French toast. Through his eyebrows he saw as Illumina’s face scrunched up in annoyed confusion. The dark-haired man swallowed before speaking.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, narrowing his eyes in the slightest.

Fruit’s eyes flicked up to meet his once more, and it was now that he could see the distant haze hidden behind a wall of intensity that made a shiver zip down his spine.

“It would be… inappropriate in a place like this.” He said, shoveling a bite of food into his mouth and holding burning eye contact with the older. Illumina found himself gaping for a solid 10 seconds before he snapped out of it.

“Fruit!” he said, almost a whisper-shout, and Fruit giggled, breaking the eye contact to eat another bite. Illumina’s face lit up at the implications of the words.

“At least I didn’t say it out loud.” He mumbled flicking his eyebrows upwards.

He couldn’t help the thoughts of Illumina’s flushed face under him, trying to hide his pretty sounds from seeping into his mind. How he would lock their fingers and hold them above Illumina’s head, pressing them into the soft sheets as he pressed into him. Pressing gentle, distracting kisses to his lips, cheeks, face, neck, collars to keep the other’s mind off of the stretch.

Or maybe their positions would be reversed. Illumina’s fingers would trail down to the apex to his thighs, pressing deep into his core, working him open with such gentle care that tears of pleasure and love would roll down his hot face. Whispers of praise, or maybe some telling of how dirty he looked like that would fall from Illumina’s lips and make Fruit’s heart stutter all over again.

All composure would be thrown out the window and silently Fruit wished that he had… practiced with himself more.

Illumina looked at him with wide, drifting eyes that traveled down to his lips that he subconsciously licked. But he was brought out of his little world by the sweet taste of syrup, and he ripped himself out of the daze he was in. He could save it for later tonight; when the sun was down, and they were in the sanctuary of their own home.

He let a shiver anticipation run down his body and into his core before shutting that part of him down.

“Do you want to go anywhere else today? Or just go home and chill after this?” Illumina seemed to mentally steady himself as well, eyebrows pinching together in thought.

“I don’t know. We could go home and relax for a bit?” He suggested and Fruit tried his best to not let the thought of him pressing Illumina against the nearest wall as soon as the door shut.

“I’ll do anything you want to do. Today is about you.” He said coolly, pushing his empty plate to the head of the table, Illumina did the same, but he looked at Fruit with furrowed brows.

“Today is about us, idiot.”

The words seemed to snap something in him. His back straightened automatically, and his gaze became downturned.

Us. He liked that word.

Just because it meant them. Together. ‘Us’ was a word that meant together. And he realized that Illumina truly did want them together.

“Right. Today is about us.” He echoed, voice shaking in the slightest and Illumina gave him a knowing smile. He couldn’t tell if he hated it or loved it.

The waitress came by and picked up their plates, giving them the check and Fruit paid—of course—and she walked away with telling them to ‘come back again.’ Fruit smiled at that once again, the thought of more cliché café dates with the man before him made happiness stir deep in his body.

He and Illumina got back up, walking out the door and into the Canadian cold once again.

This time, Illumina took the chance to link his arm through Fruit’s and then stuff his hand back into his pocket, the slightest bit of warmth radiating between the negative space between them. Fruit couldn’t help but press himself closer to the other.

When they stepped into the lobby of the apartment complex they both breathed sighs of relief, the heating down here apparently worked just fine.

They stepped into the elevator and Illumina pressed their designated floor, waiting until the door shut and the gravity shifted in the slightest before turning to Fruit.

“So.” He hesitated.

“So?” Fruit echoed, an eyebrow quirked and a coy smile tugging at his lips.

“I- Did you wanna…” Fruit’s smile turned feline as his eyes narrowed into slits. “I don’t know…”

“Cuddle? Relax? Hop on Minecraft? Something else…? Come on, you gotta give me something here, Lumi.” The latter huffed and turned away, muttering something under his breath that Fruit was going to question, but the elevator dinged, and he was dragged out by his arm.

Illumina unlocked the door, pushing it open and waiting for Fruit as he sauntered inside, a smug look decorating his face.

That was, until he shut the door with a soft click and as soon as he turned around, a hand was on his chest, and he was pressed back against the hard wood.

Illumina’s lips hovered mere centimeters from his, their breaths intermingling in the small space between them.

“And I thought I’d be the one pressing you up against a wall.” He said evenly, Illumina’s eyes met his and a hand traveled up to rest on the nape of his neck.

“Expect the unexpected.” Was all he got before Illumina’s lips were against his. The was passion behind it. But not the passion from this morning, a different kind. The passion that drives you to be everything, do everything to make your partner feel all of you. The kind of passion that made Fruit’s head spin more than he would like to admit.

A familiar tongue swept over his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth instantly, giving himself to Illumina. And as the grip on his neck slid into his chestnut hair and tugged his head back slightly, he was more than embarrassed at the quiet moan that passed into Illumina’s mouth.

The noise seemed to fuel the fire in the other’s veins, pressing his mouth against Fruit’s even harder. The latter submitted almost instantly, letting Illumina free roam of his mouth.

He realized how much he loved this. And usually it would scare him, but now, under Illumina’s control, the only thing he could feel was the anticipation building in his veins.

He turned into molten lava from his place under Illumina. Slipping his hands underneath the other’s hoodie and sliding up to run over his chest and ribs. Illumina sucked in a sharp inhale as his thumb brushed over his nipple and he pulled away with half-lidded eyes. They both panted slightly as they stared into each other’s eyes.

The grip on his hair loosened and Illumina’s fingernails scratched at his scalp, making his head tilt back even more, resting harshly against the door. Illumina huffed a laugh and the hand that still rested against Fruit’s chest slipped down to his hip and held there, thumb rubbing circles into skin comfortingly.

Is this what Illumina was like? Going a bit hard at first and then smoothing it over with comforting and gentle gestures that made Fruit’s head fog over and spin.

He let his eyes flutter shut. It was almost too overwhelming, and they had barely done anything. Just some making out and the barest amount of hair-pulling.

If he was in any other mindset he would have been disappointed in himself and called him a pussy, but he was stuck in this limbo of wanting to touch and be touched all the same.

He sucked in a gasp and lips were pressed to his neck and words were mumbled into his skin.

“You okay?” Illumina asked, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. Fruit found himself melting at the worry clear in Illumina’s voice.

“Yeah, just… haven’t done this in a while?” it came out as more of a question than a statement and he winced slightly. But Illumina just laughed that same soft laugh and pressed another kiss to his jawline.

“And you’re fine with doing it now?” The slightest bit of uncertainty was sprinkled into the other’s tone and Fruit wanted to punch himself in the gut.

“I’m fine with anything, as long as I’m with you.” He mumbled, sending a smile back at Illumina. It was reflected with an even brighter one as the other leaned back in, capturing Fruit’s lips in his own in a dance that only they shared.

“I’m glad.” The older said against his lips after he pulled away, his hot breath making Fruit have to hold back a shudder. And then the hands on him slipped away and he lifted himself off of the door after a moment. Illumina smiled at him and took a few steps back.

“Let’s go lie down.” He said, and Fruit found himself trailing the other like a lost puppy down the hall and into Fruit’s room. Probably because Illumina’s room still had the slight smell of weed.

Fruit collapsed onto the bed, Illumina lingered near the door, slipping his shoes off before walking over. He seemed to pause for a moment, simply taking in the sight of Fruit splayed out on the bed, face flushed and a small smile playing on his lips.

Illumina stopped in front of the bedside and leaned himself over the other, taking Fruit’s bottom lip between his teeth and clamping down gently. Fruit whimpered at the contact, opening his mouth for the dark-haired man and Illumina chuckled, sliding into their sacred dance once again.

As Fruit tried to press his mouth up, trying to capture Illumina’s lips better, Illumina laid a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back into the mattress. And then one of Illumina’s knees were sliding up on the bed on the outside of his thigh, allowing the other more leverage as he stole the breath from Fruit’s lungs.

“You,” Illumina panted once he pulled away for oxygen, “are going to be the death of me.” In response, Fruit trailed one hand down to rest on Illumina’s hip and the other one slipping under his hoodie once again, tracing the other’s navel with a smile.

“To be fair. You did say ‘lie down’ and not ‘make out,’ so I’m just taking what you’re giving me.” Illumina’s nose scrunched at the double meaning of the words and Fruit laughed, realizing his mistake, but not bothering to correct himself.

“Can you blame me?” Illumina asked, and as emphasis, he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Fruit’s lips. Fruit shook his head in answer when Illumina pulled away again. “Exactly.”

“I can’t help it with how good you look like this.” He said, watching as Fruit’s eyes suddenly clouded and he had to avert his eyes. Illumina reached a hand up and cupped his cheek. “Look at me.” Fruit bit his lip and he shifted on the bed as Illumina pulled his face back to look at him. He looked so... submissive. It made Illumina's core tighten and burn.

“You look so good like this. It’s pretty.” Illumina swore that Fruit’s back arched up in the slightest. He reached the hand that wasn’t on Fruit’s face down to hold his hip, holding him down and drawing circles with his thumb. “You like that? Like when I call you pretty?”

“Shut up.” Fruit strained out, eyes glossing over even more as he looked away again. Illumina felt as his hips shifted once again.

“That’s cute. Never took you for one that’s like to be praised.”

“Expect the unexpected.” Fruit grit out, face burning hot under Illumina’s touch. Illumina only laughed and tipped his head to the side, dipping down to press lingering kisses to the side of Fruit’s neck.

At one spot, the sensitive skin between under the jaw and his neck, Fruit’s head tipped back, and a whimper slipped past his lips and straight into Illumina’s fiery veins.

So, like any rational person would do, Illumina took the skin there between his teeth and sucked. Fruit keened a quiet moan, and a hand became carded through Illumina’s hair, gripping it in the slightest.

After a few moments, Illumina pulled back to admire his work. The mark was red and would probably bruise in the slightest within the hour. He pressed a soft kiss to it and Fruit let out a sigh, his eyes already having fluttered shut.

Illumina’s hand on Fruit’s cheek reached up to brush the hair out of his face, running his fingers through the soft, chestnut hair. “So pretty.” And with a kiss to his cheek, Illumina removed himself from overtop of Fruit, watching with swirling fudge eyes as his hazel eyes opened and landed on Illumina.

In his mind, images similar to the one before him flashed through his mind. Though all of them consisted with both of them without clothes and they bodies pressed against each other, need eating at them from the inside out, and they made sure to show it. He could only imagine the sounds that Fruit would make when he pushed in, or what it would be like for Fruit to push into him.

He would prefer the latter, not because he wouldn’t want to top the other, but because he’s pretty damn sure that Fruit had never done… had never experimented with that before. (He refused to acknowledge the pleasure that would come from seeing Fruit’s beautiful expression looking down at him.)

But Illumina just smiled and flopped himself on the mound of pillows at the head of Fruit’s bed, opening his arms for Fruit to crawl into.

The chestnut-haired boy furrowed his brow and huffed out a breath, picking himself up on shaky arms and scooched himself up into Illumina’s arms.

Fruit instantly relaxed into the older’s warm hold. The fire in his veins soothing to just a glowing ember. An ember that could catch flame once again if enough carbon dioxide had been blown onto it. Maybe it could cause a forest fire.

Illumina’s gaze traveled down to the side of the bed, where Fruit’s laptop laid under the nightstand. Illumina’s face lit up and he carded a hand through Fruit’s hair and reached down with the other to haul the laptop onto his legs.

“Netflix?” Fruit snorted, clearly holding back a joke, and the brunet jabbed the younger in the side with his thumb, making Fruit giggle even harder and swat his hand away.

Eventually they got into more comfortable positions with a cringy rom com playing from the laptop.

The whole time it was playing, Fruit had made stupid predictions on what was going to happen next. He was always right, to an extent.

Illumina just laughed as Fruit let out choruses of mocking their cliché words and ‘I told you so!’s when whatever he predicted had, inevitably, happened. And when a kissing scene came up, he would make stupid kissing sounds that made both Illumina and him cackle.

But then, at one of the many kissing-in-the-rain scenes came up, Fruit didn’t make the stupid kissy noises and Illumina tilted his head up. Hazel eyes met his and Illumina found himself with a pounding heart from his place rested against Fruit’s collar.

A smile grew on Fruit’s face, and another found it’s way onto Illumina’s as well. At that point, they both leaned in, but right before their lips met, Fruit stopped.

“Look at how cliché we are. Kissing during one of the most overused kissing scenes ever.” He laughed and Illumina snickered in the slightest before Fruit closed the gap between them. It was soft, short, and sweet, and they pulled away to look at each other with stupid grins on their faces.

“Maybe we should go run out in the snow then randomly slip and fall on top of each other and our lips magically touch?” Illumina mused, and Fruit laughed, a wheeze shining through and the sound of it made Illumina laugh even harder.

“Or, or maybe—” Fruit paused to wheeze once again. “Maybe we’ll go to an ice-skating rink, and one of us will just magically fucking suck even though we’ve lived in Canada our whole fucking lives—”

“And the other will have to hold their hand and promise not to laugh at them!”

“And then they realize their love and deep desire for the other and smooch afterwards.”

Both of them dissolved into loud laughter after that, eyes squeezing shut and wheezes and cackles racked their bodies.

This. This right here is what they needed. This is what they wanted out of their love. Comfortability. Laughter. And just general fun. They wanted to feel safety. They wanted each other.

And now they’ve got it.

It may have taken a bit of time to register, but they really realized it.

They have each other.

The laughter died down and Fruit combed a hand through Illumina’s hair, cocoa eyes fluttering shut.

“I love you.” Fruit said, affection dousing his voice. Illumina didn’t give a second of hesitation.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

The night turned even colder as the sun fell. It was a miracle that the apartment didn’t have icicles growing on the corners of anything that stood.

But the two inhabitants laying in each other’s arms, covered in a number of blankets, were warm.

Some could say that it was the body heat that the two shared, some could say that it was the blankets, and a select few would say that it was the love flowing between them that kept not only their bodies warm, but their hearts as well.

The laptop sat abandoned on the nightstand, but their voices traveled through the air, soft and content.

“I’m excited to watch the upcoming tourney.” Illumina said, facing the ceiling while the steady beat of Fruit’s heart pulsed under his head.

“It’s with Feinberg and K4yfour, right?” Fruit asked, also remembering the Speedrunning tourney that happened ever-so-often, and most of the time involving his friends, aka the members of HBG.

“Yep. Two of the best.” Illumina sighed happily, “I’m excited to see how it’ll play out.”

“If we’re betting, my money’s on K4yfour. They have the brain to beat Fein, and hopefully Fein won’t make stupid ass mistakes.” Illumina snorted.

While he liked watching the tourneys, it often caused him a lot of anxiety to actually compete in them, unless it was with Fruit, of course. Fruit was floaty and always had this cool, calming aura that only doubled off-camera.

Though, he thought that betting on the tourneys were stupid. Either Speedrunner could fail at something small and mess up their whole Run. It’s extremely unpredictable.

“Do you think you’ll enter a tourney any time soon?” Fruit asked, reaching up to card a hand through Illumina’s hair, twirling it around his finger idly.

“Hm… maybe. It’ll be a bit though, I’m kinda out of practice.” Fruit snorted and flicked the other man’s forehead.

“’Out of practice’ my ass.” Illumina sat up and turned to face Fruit.

“Have you seen my recent Runs? 25:30, 24:54, and 22:58. Those were the only ones sub-28.” Illumina frowned. Fruit raised an eyebrow.

“So?” Illumina’s eyes narrowed and Fruit’s grin turned feline. A grin that Illumina know means trouble.

“So, I’m literally out of practice.” He said, poking Fruit in the ribs. This made the other giggle and squirm away from his touch.

“So?” Fruit repeated, exaggerating it largely and sitting up to get in Illumina’s face, a glare on his face, though his mouth was pulled into a smirk. “It doesn’t matter.” Illumina huffed and decided to give Fruit a small peck on the lips. Just because he could.

“It does if I want to get into a tourney.” Fruit’s smirk dropped and was replaced by a frown.

“Baby, please. I got into a tourney, and have you seen me run?”

Truthfully, Illumina tried to focus on what all Fruit had said, but his brain short-circuited at the way he had said baby. A shiver zipped down his spine and his lips darted down to Fruit’s lips that quirked up into a smirk once again.

“Aww, that’s cute. You like it when I call you that?” Illumina glared up at Fruit, though with how Illumina glares, it looked more like a kicked puppy. Fruit laughed and pulled Illumina into a lingering kiss before whispering onto his lips,

“Don’t worry, that’s all I’ll be calling you tonight.” Illumina’s eyes fluttered open and were instantly met with half-lidded hazel ones that swirled with lust.

His cheeks heated up at the words and he had to look away. He let out a shaky breath as a kiss was pressed to the side of his neck and his hands instantly found Fruit’s hair.

Then a hand was on the small of his back and he was slowly being lowered into the sheets. His heart pounded hard in his chest, blood rushing in his ears.

He felt teeth nip and pull at small spots on his neck, a tongue smoothing over the hurt afterwards. Then as Fruit nipped the sensitive spot below his ear, he whined and the grip in Fruit’s hair tightened.

The other responded by smoothing his tongue over it and then placing his lips over the smooth skin, taking it into his mouth and sucking on it gently, nibbling it and pressing his tongue down. Illumina let out a pleased, quiet moan, nails scratching gently at Fruit’s scalp as he continued to suck hickeys onto his neck.

It was nice. They had never usually gone to leaving more than one, small mark on the other. But as Fruit trailed his lips across his neck, occasionally sucking and pulling with his teeth, he wasn’t scared by it. In fact, he wanted it to continue. He wanted to wake up in the morning, covered in Fruit’s marks, showing physical evidence of their love.

He wanted his skin to be dotted in mulberry and wine splotches and whenever Fruit saw them on his skin, he would be reminded of what happened and come over and kiss him. Again, domestic, but not scary.

A hand then trailed up under his shirt, the other sliding down to trace the back of his thigh, making Illumina let out a stuttering breath. Then, the lips on his neck disappeared, the skin beneath them fizzed and buzzed.

He turned his head to look at Fruit, to find the boy looking down at him with a small smile.

“You okay with this?” he asked quietly, uncertainty clear in his voice. Illumina felt his heart melt through the cracks in his ribs.

“Yes,” he said, “I’m okay with anything as long as I’m with you.” The hand on the back of his thigh then pinched him, making him gasp.

“Don’t use my own words against me.” Fruit said with a false glare, though a coy smile tugged at his lips. Illumina laughed and pulled his head down for another kiss.

The kiss started out gentle, but soon turned to more heated. Illumina nipped at Fruit’s bottom lip, but the other kept his teeth clamped. He could feel the smirk growing on the other. Illumina growled and decided to do it the hard way.

He slipped one hand under Fruit’s shirt while one stayed in his hair. And at the same time, Illumina brushed a thumb over one of Fruit’s nipples and tugged harshly on his hair. The caramel-haired boy let out a gasp, his mouth falling open, and Illumina took the chance to shove his tongue into his mouth.

A battle for dominance ensued, each trying to gain a one-up on the other. Fruit shoved him down into the bed once again, scraping his teeth over Illumina’s tongue making the other let out a groan. The hand that was under Fruit’s shirt slid over his ribs in a teasingly slow manner and the other shuddered multiple times.

But, they eventually pulled away, trying to get oxygen back in their lungs. They locked eyes and Illumina smiled. Fruit’s brows furrowed and his cheeks flushed even more, he averted his eyes and Illumina laughed.

“You’re so cute.” He said, voice smooth. Fruit glanced back to him and pinched his thigh once again. Illumina let out another yelp and Fruit smirked.

The hand on his thigh slid down, caressing the back before his thumb gently traced the inside, staying more in the middle, but they kept sliding farther down, closer to the apex of his thighs.

Illumina’s body buzzed with anticipation, and he keened a quiet whine. To his displeasure, Fruit responded by sliding his hand all the way back up to the crease of his knee.

Illumina glared up at him with labored breaths. Fruit leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, then his nose, then his forehead, smoothing over the crease in his brows and making him relax in the slightest. The he leaned down to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Illumina savored the gentleness, savored the way that Fruit took care of him. He wanted to thank him in one of the best ways he knew.

“Hey,” Fruit leaned away and looked at him with still-lust-clouded hazel eyes, “lay down on your back for me?” Illumina asked and Fruit’s eyes widened, peeling himself off of Illumina’s frame hesitantly and laying down on his back, his head against the pillows.

Illumina smiled and sat between Fruit’s legs; Fruit tensed. Illumina glanced down to see the younger half-hard in his jeans from this morning. But he quickly glanced back up to see Fruit’s face contorted into one of stress and anticipation.

“You okay?” Illumina asked and Fruit nodded stiffly.

“I just…” Illumina waited patiently, drawing shapes into Fruit’s thighs that rested on either side of him. “I’ve never done it with a guy before, and- and it’s you and I don’t want to fuck it up—”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Illumina leaned forward and laid a hand on Fruit’s cheek, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb. “It’s okay. I promise it’s okay. Do you want me to lead the way?” Fruit nodded.

And Illumina pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling away and then realization struck him.

“Oh- wait. Did you think I was going to fuck you?” he said with a small laugh, looking up at Fruit.

“You- You weren’t? I thought—"

Illumina laughed and squeezed Fruit’s thighs. The other squirmed and Illumina quickly explained.

“I was going to suck you off. I didn’t plan on fucking you tonight.” He said with half-lidded eyes and a sensual smile. Fruit flushed even more and tilted his head back.

“Well, that’s embarrassing.” He sighed, “Now I’m going to have to move to France, take on the name Franciés and sell baguettes on the street.” Illumina laughed and slid Fruit’s shirt up, pressing a kiss to his navel.

“You’re not going anywhere. At least until after I’m done with you.” He smirked and looked up, sending a wink to Fruit. The other pursed his lips and mumbled something under his breath—something that sounded like a curse—but Illumina ignored it.

His fingers came down to unbutton Fruit’s jeans, slowly sliding the zipper down, all while remaining eye-contact with the man above him. Fruit squirmed under his touch, bucking his hips up slightly as Illumina’s hands brushed against his boxers. He stifled a gasp as his jeans were pulled down to his knees, exposing half of his thighs to the cool atmosphere of the room.

Illumina simply looked him up and down for a moment, eyes raking over his half-exposed body. Then he took the time to slide his pants down to his ankles, shifting around until he got them off and threw them onto the floor.

He decided to take his own shirt and hoodie off, throwing them to the ground as well. Fruit’s eyes traveled down his exposed chest, down to his own half-hardness and Fruit shuddered in anticipation.

He leaned down, scooting back a bit as to not crane his back too much, and pressed his mouth the Fruit’s thighs, leaving opened-mouth kisses on the innermost part. Fruit tipped his head back into the pillows, mouth hanging opened as small noises slipped past.

Illumina bit down gently on a certain part and Fruit’s hips lifted off the bed slightly, a small moan gracing Illumina’s ears.

“So pretty.” He mumbled, and Fruit whimpered.

Illumina continued this action until he moved to the other thigh, leaving red marks and teeth imprints in his wake. Soon enough, after the teasing, Fruit tipped his head back even more.

“Illumina.” He breathed out, voice strained and breathless. The older felt his gut coil in flame at they way his name was spoken.

 He pressed a particularly harsh bite onto Fruit’s inner thigh and the younger keened “Baby, please.”

 Illumina looked up at Fruit, eyes wide in surprise and fully filled with lust. He felt the tightness in his pants grow at Fruit’s breathy words and pleas. Practically begging him to do something.

“You sound so pretty. So good for me.” He whispered, loud enough for Fruit to hear. The other let out a gritted moan through his teeth.

Illumina leaned down and laid his lips on Fruit through his boxers. The other choked out a groan and Illumina gripped his hip with a hand. Just for precaution until Illumina was accustomed.

He pressed small kisses to him through the fabric, Fruit’s panting encouraging him.

Then he hooked his fingers under the waistband of the boxers, looking up to Fruit. The caramel-haired boy looked down with glossy eyes, nodding and lifting his hips.

“Please.” He tacked on, and who was Illumina to say no? He slipped the clothing item off, down to his ankles and then completely off.

He looked up and felt the realization smack him in the face at the beauty of Fruit spread out before him.

All the dreams, all of the times he imagined it could have never added up to this moment. Fruit was beautiful, most of his body on display and all for Illumina.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Fruit whining and trying to pull his thighs together, an elbow coming up to drape across his face, covering himself from Illumina’s eyes.

“You’re so beautiful. You look so pretty for me.” He said, slipping his hands onto Fruit’s thighs and spreading them, His thumbs rubbing comforting circles onto the hickeys that dotted them.

“Look at me, love.” The pet name slipped out without a thought, like it was natural. Fruit slowly uncovered his face, looking down to Illumina’s face. A reassuring smile was on his face.

“I love you; you know that right?” Fruit nodded immediately and one of the hands on his thighs came down to rest on his hip. “Good boy.” Illumina smiled, one that said he knew exactly what he was doing. Fruit tipped his head back once again and moaned, a shiver shooting down his spine.

Illumina smiled once again at Fruit’s reactiveness, but he leaned down, breathing his hot breath onto the tip of Fruit. The other let out a gasp at the action, biting into the back of his hand to try and hide his noises.

Illumina brought the hand that was on Fruit’s other thigh to grasp the base lightly, trailing his hand up slowly. He pressed a kiss to the tip, watching as Fruit shuddered and let out a muffled moan.

Instantly he stopped, peeling his hand and lips away. Fruit looked down at him nervously, but he just leaned forward, hovering over Fruit and pulled his hand away from his mouth, pressing it into the pillow under his head and locking their fingers together.

“Let me hear your pretty noises. You sound so beautiful.” He smiled and Fruit nodded. Still sensing the nervousness of the younger, he leaned down and kissed him. Gentle and reassuring. Fruit melted into it, some of that nervousness slipping away.

With that, Illumina settled back down, one hand gripping under Fruit’s thigh and lifting it up to where he could press soothing kisses into it, while the other wrapped around the base once again.

Fruit shuddered as he slowly dragged his hand back up, thumb rubbing the underside of it in a way that was soothing and teasing in the same.

A high-pitched moan sounded as he squeezed right under the tip, Fruit’s hips twitching upwards. Illumina noticed the shaking of Fruit’s legs now and he chuckled, giving the smooth flesh a finalizing hickey and bite before leaning down to wrap his lips around the head.

He slip his tongue over the slit gently and Fruit moaned again, his legs pressing into Illumina’s sides as if to try and hold him there. The sound shot straight to Illumina’s head and dick. He opened his jaw more and he took a breath through his nose before sliding down more.

Fruit’s breathing became even more ragged, and his hands gripped the pillow by his head.

“Fuck.” He whispered out as Illumina’s tongue was pushed against the underside of him. Illumina looked up through his lashes, wanting to see the beauty of the other, of whom he was wrapped around so delicately.

His breath caught in his throat, and he had to take another breath to steady himself.

Hazel eyes stared down at him, they were hazy and glossy and there was unshed tears that rested in them. Tears of pleasure that begged to roll down flushed red cheeks. Fruit’s chest was expanding, and his shoulder blades were pushed into the bed roughly as his back arched slightly.

But the way that those eyes looked down at him. Looking at him like he was the only one keeping the younger afloat in a vast sea of despair.

He gulped around Fruit’s dick, making the other let out a hiss and the grip on the pillows tightened.

“Illumina.” He moaned, begging, pleading for the other to move again. Illumina’s hand traced idle shapes into Fruit’s hips as he sunk lower, jaw aching slightly at the slight stretch.

Then, he felt Fruit hit the back of his throat and the other gasped as he groaned, sending vibrations down the other. It wasn’t even his full length. Illumina shuddered in anticipation. Fruit cursed as his legs trembled, but he didn’t buck his hips, letting Illumina get used to him.

Illumina sighed through his nose and pulled up slowly, Fruit whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. The fire in both of their veins burned with an unruly heat as Illumina sunk down once again, this time taking more than he had before and suppressing a gag as he held his head steady.

He was glad that Fruit was able to suppress his urges, if his twitching hips was anything to go by. (Trust him, having another man thrust into your mouth before you were ready could be disastrous. Mostly for his throat.)

But he also felt that after he was ready, Fruit could fuck his throat however he’d like, and Illumina would be perfectly content to let him do so. The thought alone encouraged him to push down farther, Fruit pressing into the back of his throat in a way that made his head spin with delight.

Fruit let out a choked moan as Illumina sped up his motions, taking Fruit down to the base with ease after a few more slow bobs of his head. The younger could only imagine thrusting into that tight heat, making Illumina moan his name out in pleasure as tears rolled down his cheeks.

He let out a loud groan as Illumina hollowed his cheeks harder, and he thrusted up involuntarily. He wanted to quickly apologize, but Illumina moaned around his dick, suppressing a small gag. It sent vibrations down him and he shuddered in pleasure, bucking his hips once again, catching the back of Illumina’s throat in a way that made all rational thoughts leave him.

The grip Illumina had on his hip tightened and he looked down once again, Illumina pulled his mouth off of Fruit and looked up at him with half-lidded chocolate eyes. He held out a hand and Fruit placed his own in it. Illumina took Fruit’s hand and placed it on the back of his head.

“Don’t go too hard. My gag reflex is still kind of shitty.” He said, and his voice already sounded raspy, but right before he lowered himself back down onto Fruit’s dick, there was a tug at his hair, and he looked back up to meet hazel eyes.

“You sure?” A fond smile bloomed on his face, and he pressed a kiss to the tip of Fruit’s dick.

“Yes.” He said back and Fruit nodded, easing his head back down slowly.

Illumina wrapped his lips around Fruit once again and took him down to the hilt with ease. Fruit gave an experimental thrust of his hips and left both of them groaning out in pleasure. So, he pulled Illumina’s head back a bit and rolled his hips up, into the heat of Illumina’s mouth.

The tightness in Illumina’s pants became almost unbearable and he slipped an arm down to slowly grind against it, giving him some sort of friction that had him moaning down Fruit. The other responded with multiple slower thrusts before Illumina pushed his head down once again, urging Fruit to go deeper, faster.

 He wanted to feel the soreness in his throat and jaw for weeks. Wanted Fruit to claim him and fuck his mouth with almost no mercy. And a part of him wanted Fruit to find release down his throat, but another part of him wanted to feel it in another place, wanted to be able to see exactly what he was doing to the other.

Fruit thrusted his hips up more sharply this time, and Illumina suppressed a wet gag, eyes rolling back into his head slightly at the pleasured moan it drew out of Fruit.

“Fuck- oh my god.” Fruit hissed, his dick touching the back of Illumina’s throat harshly once again.

“You feel so good. So- so good for me.” Fruit whispered out, followed by a whimper as Illumina hollowed his cheeks more confidently this time. The ache of his jaw became a distant thought as Fruit bucking his hips up into his awaiting mouth, swallowing him down to the hilt in tight heat as saliva and spit pooled in the corners of his mouth.

Then, his hair was being pulled up and Fruit was staring down at him with hungry eyes. Eyes that clearly expressed what they wanted. And that was to be inside Illumina, now.

The brunet got up, Fruit watching with a hawk’s intent as he stripped himself clean of the rest of his clothes, leaving him naked before Fruit.

“Do you have any lube or condoms?” Fruit nodded, turning to open the middle drawer of his nightstand and pulling out a gold-foiled condom and a small bottle of lube. Illumina smirked and took the small plastic bottle, about to open it when a hand gripped his wrist softly.

“Let me?” Fruit asked, and his eyes flickered with hopefulness and care. Adorable. Illumina smiled and handed Fruit the bottle and laid down on the bed, his knees bending as his feet hung off the edge.

Fruit got up and nestled himself between Illumina’s knees, pulling the latter towards the edge of the bed more and lifting up one of his knees. He made sure to coat his index and middle fingers in lube generously, rugging them together to warm them up. Illumina shivered in anticipation as Fruit stared down at him with hazy hazel eyes.

“You look so good right now.” He mumbled, leaning down to press a kiss to Illumina’s knee and run his hand along Illumina’s ribs, relishing in the pounding heartbeat underneath.

He trailed his slicked finger down across the underside of Illumina’s dick, across his underside and down to circle his rim in a half-teasing manner. Illumina’s body tensed at the feeling and Fruit leaned down to pepper his stomach and chest with kisses. He sucked small marks onto his chest and nipped at Illumina’s collarbones.

He pressed his first knuckle in, and Illumina’s face twisted a bit. Fruit moved his other hand down to wrap around Illumina, tracing the underside with his thumb. Illumina’s face contorted as he squeezed his eyes shut, mouth falling open.

Fruit couldn’t help the excitement and ecstasy flowing through his veins. He felt special. He felt like it was a sacred feeling, a sacred scene in which Illumina had given him so much of himself, so vulnerable and trustworthy. His heart practically soared through his head.

He pushed his finger down to the second knuckle. Illumina seemed to tense and untense around him, trying to even his breathing out. Fruit leaned down next to his ear, lowering his voice and speaking with care.

“There you go baby, relax, just like that. You’re doing so good for me.” Illumina let out a graceful, shuddering sigh and he seemed to melt into Fruit’s gentle touch.

“Good job. You’re doing so good, baby.” He kissed the sensitive spot right under Illumina’s ear, kissing the hickey that already lay there and Illumina whined in pleasure. Illumina gave a testing shift of his hips, and Fruit pushed his finger in, down to the hilt.

Illumina sucked in a shaky breath, tilting his head back more as he arched his back, his bare chest pressing against Fruit’s. A flush ran down his front turning it the shade of ripe strawberries and Fruit kissed down the center, his heartbeat steady against his lips.

He began to slowly pull his finger in and out of Illumina, the slow thrusts making Illumina squirm as he fought the urge to tighten around Fruit. His breathing came out ragged until cherry lips pressed against his and he was drawn in by the feeling of it.

A tongue drew a line against his lips and when he didn’t open immediately, a tug at his dick had him gasping out and Fruit slipped his tongue in; distracting him of the slight uncomfortableness of the beginning stretch of his finger and it thrust in and out of him gently.

Fruit blessed his mouth with his own, sucking on his lips and tongue until he was writhing in pleasure from the hand around him and the finger thrusting in and out of him, circling his rim occasionally.

When he ground his hips back, Fruit took the hint and slipped his middle finger in as well, the uncomfortable feeling disappeared more quickly this time, but Fruit still took his time.

His tongue flicking against the roof of his mouth as he pressed deep, his thumb brushing over the tip of his dick and Illumina let out a moan at the barrage of pleasure thrown his way. Fruit pulled away to hear his noises better and focus more on the movements of both of his hands, Illumina couldn’t say he was disappointed.

Fruit’s fingers were thicker than his and felt amazing as he began to slowly open them and close them, curling them in just the right ways until he brushed a spot that made Illumina’s back arch off the bed and a moan—louder and more high-pitched than the others—came tumbling out of him.

Fruit smirked at him from above and pressed into that spot and Illumina desperately clung to the sheets with a white-knuckled grip. But then the pressure on his prostate was gone and Fruit’s fingers continued to open him up more. He breathed in shallow bated breaths and decided that he needed Fruit, right now.

“Fruit.” He keened as Fruit’s hand on his dick slid over the slit once again. “Please.” He breathed, not yet to the point of fully begging, but he would be soon if Fruit didn’t hurry the fuck up.

“Please what, baby?” he said smoothly, and Illumina silently wondered where that submissive look in his hazel eyes had gone, now being replaced with one of power and coyness—though the love was still there and clear enough through the haze of lust—“Use your words for me.”

“Please, I- I’m good, I’m ready, just- please.” He managed to get out, grinding his hips back once again. Fruit let out a low laugh and leaned down, capturing Illumina’s lips in his own as he slipped his fingers out.

Instead, Illumina heard the crunching of foil wrapping and he looked down, noticing the condom that Fruit held out to him. He took it gracefully, and though his hands shook, he opened it and pulled out the rubber, handing it back to Fruit. The younger rolled it onto himself and Illumina felt himself get impossibly hotter as Fruit’s eyes locked onto his.

Then the boy clicked open the bottle of lube, coating himself with practiced ease before stepping back between Illumina’s legs. A hand slowly widened his legs, pushing one into the soft mattress and the other one comfortably in the air but out of Fruit’s way as a hand gripped Illumina’s hip.

“You okay?” Fruit asked, not yet lining himself up until Illumina gave him the confirmation he needed.

“Yes, please Fruit.” Illumina said, scooting down the bed a bit farther to try and get the friction he so desperately needed from the other.

Fruit laughed and slowly lined himself up, Illumina jumping at the feeling of something pressed against him. Fruit leaned down and combed the hand that was on his hip through his hair a few times before bringing it back down once again and bringing him into another kiss.

Then the pressure started, and Illumina reached up to grip Fruit’s neck and shoulder, fingers digging into smooth skin as Fruit pushed in. He felt the pain begin to flare up and Fruit paused, seeming to sense it as well. He pulled away from the kiss and leaned down to lick at the hickeys that still burned on his neck.

“You’re doing so well, baby. So well.” Fruit praised, and Illumina’s heart fluttered.

After a moment, Illumina rocked his hips and Fruit groaned at the feeling, pushing in another inch or two before stopping to let Illumina adjust once again.

“You feel so good, so good wrapped around me like this.” Fruit mumbled, the praise falling from his lips and onto Illumina’s burning skin. He couldn’t register the cool temperature of the room any longer, any thoughts of it slipped away with his rational thoughts and Fruit whispered praises to him and pressed into his insides.

“You- can move.” Illumina said after a few moments, groaning as Fruit gripped his hip. Fruit didn’t question if he was sure, thankfully, as he rocked his hips forward, the motion causing a moan to spill from Illumina’s lips as his back arched.

“God.” Fruit said, pushing in slightly more before pulling out an inch once again.

Illumina was in a mix between heaven and hell, his body burning as ecstasy ran her fingers across every inch of his body. He swore he saw stars as Fruit rolled his hips forward once again, pressing deeper and deeper with each thrust.

Pain was long gone and in filtered the wine-red pleasure that both of them had sought out for months. He let noises and whimpers fall from his lips as Fruit fucked him gently and so full of care that Illumina swore his heart would burst into small pieces.

Then, Fruit’s movements began to speed up, his hips meeting the back of Illumina’s thighs as he rocked his own hips back. He prayed that this could last forever. Fruit cursed as a moan slipped from his lips, the noise making Illumina follow suit with his own.

“Please,” Illumina begged, not entirely sure what exactly he was pleading for, but Fruit seemed to take the hint, rocking his hips a bit faster and brushing against that spot that made him choke out Fruit’s name in a groan.

Fruit’s panting breaths only fueled the coiling fire of his gut, it was pure bliss.

Then, his mind went completely blank as Fruit thrusted right into that spot that made him let out a loud moan, blunt nails digging into Fruit’s skin, and he writhed in mindless bliss.

“There you go, let all those pretty sounds out.” Fruit said, kissing a faint mulberry splotch on his chest, “Let them all know, baby.” Illumina let out another high-pitched moan at his words, head spinning with incoherent thoughts that were only clouded over by pleasure and the knowing that this was Fruit.

After a few more minutes of the endless pounding against his prostate, he felt his gut coil in a familiar way that only meant he was close.

“Fruit,” he breathed out.

“I know, baby. I know.” Was all Fruit responded verbally with, choosing to rock his hips back and forth even harder with staggering thrusts and moans that Illumina knew meant he was close as well.

Illumina didn’t even have time to warn Fruit before release shattered through him, his vision turning white with pleasure and bliss as Fruit continued to chase his climax as well.

“Good boy, good boy.” Fruit said through staggered breaths. Illumina panted and writhed slightly under Fruit’s hold, moaning as the boy continued to press into him.

Then, after a stuttering moan pierced the air, Fruit’s hips stopped, and Illumina knew and felt that he had reached release.

Fruit mumbled out an “I love you.” And repeated it multiple times as his high washed over him. Illumina couldn’t find it in himself to respond, so he pulled Fruit’s head into his chest as the other pulled out, leaving him empty, yet filled with love all in the same.

They stayed there for moments afterwards, relishing in the afterglow of their highs and evening out their breathing.

“Holy shit.” Illumina finally mumbled, a smile coating his words. Fruit looked up with hazel eyes full of wonderment and a small, tired smile on his face.

“Holy shit.” Fruit echoed, bringing himself up to press a lingering kiss to Illumina’s lips.

“That was…” he started, losing the words that could accurately describe this scene laid out before him.

“Amazing.” Fruit answered, a bright smile still on his face and Illumina swore that he could never get tired of seeing it.

“Yeah.” Illumina breathed.

Then his gaze was turned to himself and Fruit, specifically the negative space between them. He cringed.

“Shower?”

“Shower.”

They both laughed and Fruit lifted himself off of Illumina, helping the older up onto trembling legs.

That night they lay together in blissful silence. Both of them smelling fresh, like pine and cedar, though the smell of sex still hung in the air.

The hickeys that dotted Illumina’s neck burned—in a good way—and his mind always led back to the one who made those marks on him.

The one who he is now held tight against. The one who he loved dearly with all his heart. The one who could win him over with just a single smile. The one that cared so greatly for him, and the one he felt the same for as well.

The dull ache in his jaw didn’t bother him one bit. Nor did the soreness at the apex of his thighs.

He enjoyed them. Cherished them like little trophies that he would hold close to his heart with every passing minute, second even.

The heavy breathing of the one he held in his arms signaled that he was most likely asleep, or steadily on his way there. He smiled and pressed a kiss to the other’s hair. The smell of sweet honey and mint was still there, and he bathed in it before whispering those three words that would have haunted him before.

“I love you.”