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Chapter Text

“I do adore the heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and sex that permeates these events,” Solas said to my Lavellan Mage Inquisitor.

“Ew, Solas, gross,” I told my TV. I pressed the pause button. The familiar green screen appeared, and the music of Dragon Age: Inquisition rang dramatically in my ears. I glanced at the clock. 5:23am. Shit. I had stayed up playing too late again.

I groaned, not wanting to move. I’ll just close my eyes for a little bit, I thought foolishly.

The game music was weirdly getting louder, and as I opened my eyes it was not my living room, but Solas’s rotunda in Skyhold that came into view. The room was a foggy haze, and I rubbed my eyes to get a clearer picture. Solas was on top of the scaffolding, painting the section of his mural with Halamshiral. I never saw him actually paint in the game, I wondered.

The whole world soon became clearer, and the in-game music faded away. It all looked real, as if I were there in the room. I walked around and examined Solas’s paintings a bit closer. I could actually see the texture of the plaster he used, rough and raised off the wall. “Huh,” I said aloud.

“Who are you?” Solas asked me. I turned around to see him looking at me from the raised platform.

“Uh…” I didn’t know what to say. But it seemed like I had complete control over this very detailed, video-game-induced dream. “I’m Anna?” It sounded like a question.

The elf eyed me curiously. “You do not belong here,” he concluded.

I smiled at him. “No, I don’t.” The human brain sure was amazing. My mind had conjured up Solas so realistically, I couldn’t believe it. I watched as he climbed down the ladder and closed the space between us.

“Please leave,” he asked gently. “My dream was not an open invitation.” It was kind of rude of him to say, although knowing Solas, he probably thought I was some unwanted spirit or something. But did that mean this was the Fade... and this was his dream... and he was just... painting?? Maybe that was why he was so good at it? He always practiced in the Fade?

Solas could tell I had stopped listening while I pondered this new discovery. He sighed, and suddenly the whole world began to melt away.

I could tell the dream was slipping from me—that I was waking up. “Wait!” I shouted at his disappearing image. “Are you bald due to age or shaving?!” I asked desperately. Hey, I needed to know.

The last remnants of his face looked thoroughly confused. Soon everything went black, and I opened my eyes. But I wasn’t on my couch. I was in the entry courtyard of Skyhold.

I guess this dream isn’t over. Propping myself up by the elbows, I took in my new surroundings. I was lying on the dirt floor, very near the entrance of the gate. The medical tents were spread around in a half circle nearby. A surgeon tended to wounded soldiers. I watched with curiosity as she poured healing potions into their mouths.

My observations were soon cut short when a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see Blackwall staring down at me. He was hairy.

“You...” he said, seeming perplexed by me.

I realized that lying on the ground right in front of the gate was a bit weird, so I got to my feet and without thinking, asked, “Where’s Solas?”

Blackwall was taken aback. Suddenly soldiers appeared behind me at my sides, holding my arms back like I was a prisoner. “Hey, what are you—?” I asked, confused. The force of their hands felt pretty real...

“We saw her fall from the sky! What should we do with her, ser?” one of the soldiers asked Blackwall.

“Um,” he said, “I think she may be a friend of Solas.” He was clearly in disbelief, but the soldiers released me immediately.

Blackwall considered me. I obviously didn’t look very threatening since he next said, “I’ll take you to him, miss.”

I followed his burly mass as he led me up the stone stairs. The steps were very large, and I wondered how my Lavellan Inquisitor was able to run up them so easily. Fantasy game physics, I thought as I heaved my legs from step to step.

As we entered the grand hall, I marveled at the cuisine set on the tables. I never noticed how much food there is! And there were actually people eating it, funnily enough. We passed by Varric, who was busily scribbling with a quill. I laughed to myself, causing Blackwell to shoot me a suspicious look.

When we finally reached Solas’s room, we found him painting in the exact spot I had seen earlier. Blackwall cleared his throat to get the elf’s attention. Solas peered down at us from above, and his eyes widened when he saw me.

“This young lady was looking for you...” Blackwall explained. “She seems to have appeared from thin air.” I think the fake-Warden was still in shock.

“Thin air?” Solas inquired, confusion only vaguely masked in his voice.

“Yes... I thought she might be one of those spirit friends of yours. Like Cole,” he gruffed. I nodded my head at Blackwall’s inference. Makes sense.

Solas, however, did not seem convinced. He quickly climbed down the ladder and walked out of the room, gesturing for Blackwall to follow him. Solas whispered something until Blackwall nodded and eyed me cautiously. As Blackwall left, Solas turned back and approached me.

“Hello,” he said slowly, brow furrowed.

“You never answered my question,” I continued. This had to be the same dream, right?

Solas cocked his head slightly to the side, his expression a mixture of alarm and curiosity. He opened his mouth to answer, but a mass of people rushed in, interrupting him.

“Who are you?” Cassandra asked in a demanding tone. She had pushed through the others and was in the front.

I didn’t answer, but instead looked at the new entrants to the rotunda. Cassandra, Blackwall, Varric, and... My eyes went upward. Iron Bull. He was huge.

Cassandra took a step forward and grabbed me roughly by the arm. “Ow!” I exclaimed, surprised by the contact.

“Who are you?!” she shouted again.

“I’m Anna,” I said, distracted by the pain in my arm. It felt very real... Wasn’t this a dream...? The room began to spin, and for the first time in my life, I fainted.

Chapter Text

It must have been a very brief blackout because the same group was standing over my body when I opened my eyes again. I was lying on the hard stone floor, blinking up at the candlelight above. My eyes began to focus, and I could see Leliana’s ravens in their cages near the ceiling. Several people were now peering down at us over the balconies.

“She’s awake,” Solas observed.

“Why did you guys rush me here?” Varric asked, skeptical. “She looks harmless.”

I closed my eyes again. This had to be a dream. But it felt so real. And no matter if it was a dream or not, I didn’t want the Inner Circle imprisoning me immediately. Not if I had the chance to actually walk around and explore a video game! I needed to play along.

“I just came to help the Inquisition,” I said. My eyes flew open to look at Solas. Somehow, I knew he would help me. He had seen me in the Fade, or whatever that was. He knew me, kinda...

The group debated my declaration. “See? She only wants to help,” Varric said.

“And she definitely looks harmless,” Iron Bull smirked. Oh, Freddie Prinze.

“I find it very suspicious that she appeared from nowhere,” Cassandra reasoned.

“Yes, that is what I thought as well. But didn’t Cole also appear that way?” Blackwall asked, looking towards Solas. “And she said she knows you.” The whole group stared at Solas then. My fate lay in his hands.

He looked down at me—still on the floor because nobody bothered to help me up—and studied my face, eyes narrowed. “Yes, I know her,” Solas finally said.

Blackwall sighed, annoyed. “Then why all the fuss? You told me you had no idea who she was! That she could be a danger!”

Solas seemed unfazed. He cleared his throat and said simply, “I apologize. I did not recognize her at first.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes. Iron Bull and Varric were already halfway out the door. Blackwall finally offered his hand to me, helping me up. “You’ve got a curious choice of friends, miss,” he said, eyeing Solas. The elf had turned away from everyone, as if considering something.

As the rest of the companions exited the room, I stayed behind and tugged Solas’s sleeve. He whipped around, alarmed by the gesture. Whoops. Everyone was definitely on edge here. But who could blame them, what with Corypheus and all.

“Um, Solas? Can I talk to you?” I asked, taking a step back to give him more space. He nodded cautiously.

I put my hands behind my back, imitating his usual in-game pose. “So, you saw me in the Fade, right?”

He nodded.

“So you must know I’m different? I don’t really belong here.” I tried to think of the right words to say. I couldn’t tell him that I had played a game he was in. That he was a fictional character produced by Bioware.

Solas studied my face. “Yes,” he said slowly. “I had noticed there was something... different about you.”

“Yeah,” I said awkwardly. It was a strange feeling, talking to him. I had played the game so much that I felt like I knew him. Hell, I loved him. (As a character, cough.) But that didn’t mean that he would automatically like me. “I’m a dreamer as well,” I said to him, hoping this would make sense in the Dragon Age world. “I came here through the Fade by accident, but I’m not sure how to get back.” It seemed like logical enough reasoning. Emphasis on enough.

Solas narrowed his eyes on me, one hand resting on his chin. He was thinking. I examined his face, taking in the details. All the pores and freckles and fine lines that couldn’t be observed on a screen. I didn’t realize I was staring at his cleft chin until he asked, “Where did you come from? Perhaps I could direct you there.”

Uh-oh. How could I answer that? No matter how creative Solas’s imagination might be in that big ol’ brain of his, I doubt he could fathom the real world. So I just shook my head.

“I don’t... remember,” I lied, hoping he couldn’t tell. “I guess I’ll just be stuck here for a while until I do.”

Solas lightened up slightly. Perhaps my feigned amnesia reminded him of his lovely Lavellan. “The Inquisition is not such a bad place to stay,” he said, a hint of pride in his voice. “And we could certainly use someone with your abilities. To be able to travel through the Fade… You must be a particularly powerful mage.”

Shit. As much as I could make up stuff about me, I couldn’t fake producing magic. I shook my head and hands in unison, declining his words. “No, no! No magic here! Just certain... Fade abilities, I guess?” (That definitely was not a thing.)

Solas’s face scrunched up into extreme disbelief. I had to say something convincing soon. I was losing cred fast.

“Okay, listen,” I explained. “I don’t have magic abilities. I don’t have any abilities.” I paused, considering my words. “But I know the future.”

Solas laughed then, clearly disbelieving me. “You are peculiar, Anna.”

I blinked at him saying my name. I had never heard it before in his sweet Welsh accent. But this was no time for swooning. “...and I know everything!” I said rather loudly, causing him to jump.

“You know everything?” He raised an eyebrow, unsure of what I was getting at.

I exhaled slowly. “I know who you are,” I whispered, so none of the people above could hear. His eyes widened in confusion, and I could tell he was not really understanding my meaning. “I’ve seen things in the Fade,” I continued with my made-up reasoning. “I know all about Corypheus, all about the Inquisition, all about the Herald... and all about you.”

Solas froze, highly alarmed and concerned now. His eyes were darting all over me, trying to find answers where there were none. I took another breath and, aware of the many people above us, walked over to a section of his mural on the wall. The part with the giant wolves howling. I pointed to one of them, and then pointed suggestively at him, hoping he understood my meaning.

And he most certainly did.

Chapter Text

Solas inhaled sharply as he looked at me. He had fear in his eyes. Suddenly I felt bad, making poor Solas worry so much. Even though he kind of deserved it.

“Don’t worry,” I soothed, “I want to help you.” I really did. Because if anything, I did not want him to break my—cough—the Inquisitor’s heart again.

“You wish to help me?” he asked slowly. “Help me with what…?” He still wasn’t aware of the extent of my knowledge.

Before I could answer, someone burst through the wooden door from the main hall. I wheeled around to see my Lavellan Inquisitor trudging in. Yes, she did trudge.

I looked at her, my RPG character, in the flesh. She was every bit as beautiful standing before me as my screen had shown me at home. I examined her up and down; her pointy ears, white hair, unnaturally teal eyes, and Mythal vallaslin brushing her forehead. Then I noticed her lips. Damn, they were shiny. Why didn’t I turn the lip shine to zero?? It was too late now, though. She was a living thing, it seemed.

And then I felt oddly motherly, like I was her god. Since, in a way, I was. Her creator. “Huh,” I said aloud unintentionally.

She looked at me, obviously intrigued, and asked, “And who are you?”

“I’m Anna,” I said, again. How many times would I say that today?

“You’ve made quite the stir.” Lavellan smiled at me. Aww, she’s so nice! Her teal gaze moved to Solas. “Is everything okay? I heard she just suddenly appeared, and knows you?”

Solas nodded. “Everything is… fine.” He eyed me beside him before giving her a small smile. “Do not worry about me. I know you have important matters to attend to.”

Lavellan smiled at him. She then nodded at me and headed back out the door. I wonder what she’s doing, I thought. I was, after all, not controlling her.

I turned to Solas. “She’s somethin’, eh?”

Solas raised an eyebrow at me. “She has built this Inquisition into a formidable power in Thedas. Thousands now follow her leadership.”

“Yes, yes,” I said, waving him off, “I know you love Lavellan.”

His eyes widened before narrowing again. “Lavellan? Do you mean Gurlll?” he asked me.

“Girl? Um, yes? That Inquisitor girl?” I said, confused.

Solas shook his head. “I mean her name. She is Inquisitor Gurlll of Clan Lavellan.” He dragged out the urlll of the name.

And I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing so hard. “No…” I said, between gasps. “She’s not actually named…. I mean, that was a joke…” It was true that I could name her anything, so just to humor myself, I had named her Gurlll.

Solas sighed exasperatedly. “Yes, it is a strange naming. I told Gurlll her clan must be very peculiar to name her such a thing. The Dalish never cease to shock me with their outlandish behavior.”

Damn, Solas. I thought. Straight to the hatin’.

“What’s the, um… Elvish word for, uh, Gurlll…?” I burst out laughing again. “I’m sure it sounds less silly than that.” I wiped some laugh-tears from my eyes.

Solas rolled his eyes at me. “Asha.”

I held my breath to stop laughing. “See? Better!” I said, smiling at him. “But I would just call her vhenan if I were you.”

Solas sighed again. “How do you know I call her that?” He walked over to the area of the mural I had pointed out earlier, stopping in front of that weird cube thing that’s always balanced on its point. Solas stared at the painted wolves.

I followed him to the wall. “I told you, Solas. I know things.” He looked at me, and I smiled at him. “Things that were… things that are…” I spoke in an eerie voice, walking a small half-circle around him. “...and some things… that have not yet come to pass,” I said in my best Galadriel impression. Wrong fandom, but he didn’t know that.

Solas did not react to my elf-queen impersonation. He put his hands behind his back, contemplating and remaining silent as his brow creased with fresh worry. Solas must be freaking out on the inside.

I had to get him to trust me. And to do that, I needed my approval ranking with him raised higher. Unlike my Lavellan who had reached the absolute max in Solas Approval, I was at zero, possibly even in the negative, judging from the number of annoyed looks.

I wished I could see the Solas Approves text that would pop on my screen whenever my Lavellan asked him a question. But, alas, I was living it now, and life didn’t give subtitles.

Chapter Text

After contemplating a little more, he gestured for me to follow him and led me to an empty, secluded room where we could freely talk without being heard.

Closing the door behind me, he asked, “What exactly do you know?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I considered him a moment. Here was Solas, the reason for my heartbreak. Yes, he had broken my heart when he broke my character’s. And now, he just stood there in his simple clothing that I’d never seen too closely before. It did look hobo-ish. I stared at the wolfbone pendant. It was so large to be hanging on his neck. Doesn’t it just get in the way of everything?

Solas cleared his throat, annoyed that I hadn’t responded yet. I matched his gaze then, smiling at his blue-grey eyes. “I know you’re Fen’Harel,” I said plainly.

The statement took him aback, but ultimately he had been suspecting it from my previous painting-pointing gestures.

“And I know you gave your orb to Corypheus. I know you feel bad, and are trying to help fix it... and you need to get your orb back,” I added. What he needed the orb for, I wasn’t so sure about. I was still waiting for that damned Wolf Hunt DLC to come out, if it was ever even going to happen.

He looked very worried. Panicked, even. A scared Solas, what a sight! But I didn’t revel long. “I also know the future. I know what’s going to happen.” I recalled how he had been painting the Empress Celene on the rotunda wall. “You guys just got back from Halamshiral, I presume?”

Solas swallowed and nodded. He was nervous. “Seriously, Solas,” I put my hands up defensively, trying to calm him. “I mean you no harm. I want to help you get back your orb. I am your ally.”

He exhaled and put his hands on his temples, closing his eyes. “I see you in the Fade, and then you suddenly appear here and know my deepest secrets. And you want to be my ally.” He emphasized the last word slowly.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I shrugged, not sure what else to say. “But I seriously don’t have any abilities or powers. I only know the future.”

Solas opened his eyes and looked me up and down. He sighed. His voice lowered considerably. “You give me little choice in this matter. How can I trust that you will not tell anyone?”

He got a little scary then.

His features all seemed to darken, his gaze on me turning deadly. For the first time, it occurred to me that Solas might actually try to kill me to keep his secrets. It made sense, he was the Dread Wolf and all. My mind raced for a way to convince him otherwise.

Solas loved independent thought. He could roll in that shit all day. If I could show him that I had logically thought this through, he might trust me. I threw some questions at him while I thought. “How do you think I know all this? Do you even know what I am? What are your reasons not to trust me?” I asked him.

He remained silent, still only giving me that scary I am a god that can easily kill you right now look.

“I am an outsider,” I continued, choosing my words carefully for once. “I saw all that you did in the Fade. I saw you give your orb to Corypheus, and the chaos that happened afterward: the Breach, the Anchor, the Divine dying...”

One of Solas’s hands began to twitch. I saw little purple sparks begin to float around it. Was he calling lightning? I had to act fast.

“You’re the only one that can fix this!” I blurted out desperately. So not true. My Inquisitor had that in the bag.

The magic faded away. Solas’s features softened into curiosity, that spark of intrigue in his eye.

“And only you can prevent this from happening again,” I continued on. “So I want to help you.”

Solas hummed in consideration, studying me. “Well, I will never give my orb to a Tevinter magister again, that much is certain.” Actually, this story could happen as many times as I feel like playing it, my dear little Solas, I secretly thought to myself.

“Let us hope not,” I told him. “But please know this: I believe what you are doing is right. I will help you no matter what.” I had to turn up the drama if I wanted him to believe me.

“You wish to help me retrieve my orb safely, so that I may stop Corypheus?” Solas repeated again in confirmation.

“Um… yes?” I knew he must need the orb for some other reason, but the game had never disclosed exactly what that was.

Solas sighed. “I suppose I have no alternative but to trust you, although I am not certain about your lack of abilities.” He eyed me carefully. “A person cannot travel the Fade without a particular command of magic.”

I crossed my arms. “Oh yeah? Says the person who just recently walked around physically in the Fade with half of the Inquisition?” I sneered at him. “Including Blackwall.” He was as non-magic as it got.

Solas was taken aback by this new knowledge I revealed to him. He quickly recovered though and said, “That was a special circumstance. The Anchor—”

I cut him off. “Well, have you considered that there are others with such a power? Just because I don’t have a mark on my hand, doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways.”

Solas looked at me sternly. “Then what way did you take?”

“I’m not sure...” I trailed off, thinking of how I had just woken up here. “All of it just sort of happened. I fell asleep one day and dreamed all these events were happening in front of me. Then I woke up in a point of time in the middle, even though I had seen far ahead of it.” The explanation sounded convincing enough. To me, at least.

Solas was still skeptical. “I have never heard of such a thing,” he told me.

“Me neither,” I conceded. “But it must have happened for a reason.” I glanced at him as I deliberated my next words. “Someone put me here to help you.”

“And who would do that?” he asked, still doubtful.

“I don’t know that either”—he rolled his eyes at that—“but I think I know why.” I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Because your orb breaks.”

His eyes widened. “Is this the future you claim to know? My focus is broken, requiring me to seek other...?” He stopped. “I cannot know that you are telling the truth.”

I wondered what would happen if his orb was not destroyed. Would he just run away with it? Would he have to fight the Inquisitor? What was the best future? To destroy or not to destroy the orb? That was the question, indeed.

“You have no way of knowing,” I said. “You just have to trust me. And know that I choose to help you because it’s what’s right.”

Solas looked thoroughly worried, but I could tell he wasn’t fully conceiving the whole “my orb is gonna break” thing. He still doubted me. Had he never considered the possibility of it breaking? That seemed rather unlikely. Solas thought everything over.

“Whatever the future does bring,” he said to me, “just please do not tell anyone, especially the Inquisitor.”

“Solas, who do you think I am?” I looked at him, incredulous. “I know I’m shem”—he raised an eyebrow at the word—“but I am your lethallan, hahren.”

He rolled his eyes before narrowing them on me again. “You know an unusual amount of elven language for a human,” he noted.

I nodded. “Thank you, Solas. It’s something I take solas in.” I laughed at my own joke. Solas sighed, shaking his head. But he smiled. Ever so slightly. The tiniest of smiles.

Even though he was wary, he was starting to warm up to me. And I was liking it. I had a million questions for him, and since I seemed to be in Skyhold, dreaming in a video game, I thought I might as well use this chance to find out the truth.

“So...” I began, changing the subject. “My question about your baldness before...?”

Solas sighed. “It is a spell,” he explained. “It hinders my hair growth.”

“Hmm,” I considered. “And you do this intentionally because...?”

He looked very annoyed. “I am trying to disguise my appearance. Obviously.”

Saucy Solas. I nodded in understanding.

“I must be going,” Solas said suddenly. “Please do remember your promise.” And then he whipped outta there faster than I could say dareth shiral. Typical. Always running away.

I wanted to ask him so much, but I supposed it had to wait for now. Where was he going, anyway? Was he going to research the possibility of seeing the future? I knew he was aware of Alexius’s time travel magic that Lavellan would have described to him at Redcliffe. In our recent conversation, he never mentioned the connection, but maybe my talk of the Fade convinced him otherwise. I had no idea.

I rushed out of the room after him, determined to full-on stalk him. Entering the walkway, I saw the tail of his tunic fluttering around a corner. As I turned the same corner, it opened to a long, empty passageway. Solas was nowhere to be seen. Where was he?

Shit, I thought. Did that elf just Fade Step? Solas was the worst.

Annoyed that I had lost him, I made my way down the hall at a slower pace. This was a long dream indeed. A thought then occurred to me: if I entered here through sleep, did that mean I could leave by sleeping, too?

It seemed like a sensible answer. But, as this could be my last lucid dream ever in my favorite video game, the least I could do was spend the day in Skyhold.

Chapter Text

Walking along the battlements of the fortress, my stomach grumbled in hunger. I remembered the tons of food I had seen earlier in the grand hall and headed there instead.

I took my time as I ambled over, absorbing my surroundings. What if I was really here to stay? I thought back to my life before I had landed in Thedas. I was a college student in my final year of school. It was winter break, and I had taken the opportunity to finally play Dragon Age to my heart’s content, finding myself more and more obsessed with it.

This has to be a dream. I must still be lying on my couch, passed out in the embarrassing way I was known to do from time to time. I looked down at myself. I was wearing what I had fallen asleep in: jeans, a simple t-shirt, and a thick wooly cardigan. I wondered what the characters thought of my ensemble.

Although this was a dream, it seemed like I would not be waking up for a long time. Like uthenera, I joked to myself.

I knew how this game ended, I knew the stinger after the credits that revealed Solas’s true identity. I could easily fall into Thedas life, into the Inquisition story. I paused to take a breath and glance around. The local Skyhold inhabitants all eyed me suspiciously.

I smiled. Get ready, bitches, I thought. I am gonna rock your world. I laughed maniacally aloud. Some of the onlookers began to fiercely whisper to one another. Whatever. No one cared about these NPCs, anyway.

As I hoisted myself up those large stairs yet again, I took a deep breath of the Frostback Mountains’ air. Man, it was fresh. Completely non-polluted and smog-free.

Finally getting to the spot my Inquisitor always spawned at when fast-traveling to Skyhold, I took my time walking up the last set of stairs and waltzed into the grand hall. Orlesians and Fereldans alike were standing and chatting, as they usually did. Some sat at the tables, nibbling at the many courses.

I guess this is buffet-style? I settled down at an empty table. There was a selection of random fruits and some roasted vegetables... and tons of meat. Like a billion types of poultry and game and all that. ‘Twas medieval times after all.

“Word of advice,” a raspy voice said from behind me. “Don’t eat the shepherd’s pie.” I turned around to see Varric behind me. “I’m pretty sure it’s been there a few days.”

I smiled. “Thanks,” I told the dwarf. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

To my surprise, he sat down in a chair beside me. “Varric Tethras,” he said. “Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He winked at me.

I laughed. Really, Varric? I thought. The same exact speech as the one to the Inquisitor, huh?

“Nice to meet you,” I said, staring at his exposed chest. Why was it buttoned so low? Was his chest physically too large for the shirt to close over? Why didn’t he wear a larger shirt? Did he really just want to show off that chesthair? I had so many questions boiling inside me.

As I tried to figure out a natural way to introduce his shirt into the conversation, Varric asked, “So how do you know Solas?”

How didn’t I know him, huhuhu. “The Fade,” I said simply. I grabbed an apple and bit into it.

He watched me, apprehensive. “So are you a spirit...?” he inquired.

I swallowed. I would need to get my story straight to the Inquisition companions. “No,” I told him. “I’m flesh and bone, just a normal human.”

He still didn’t look convinced.

“I know I appeared out of thin air…” I continued, choosing my words wisely. “But I honestly don’t know how this happened. One night, I was dreaming in the Fade... the next, falling from the sky.” I took another bite. “Solas says that one can travel through the Fade to physically change location. But he’s never seen this happen before,” I added, thinking some hobo apostate cred was needed for my spiel.

“Did Solas already forget about what happened at Adamant?” Varric laughed skeptically.

“Yes, but that was with the Anchor... I literally just woke up and was here. I’m not even a mage.” Might as well lay it all out.

Varric blinked at me. “Not even a mage, huh?” He looked me up and down, sizing me up. “Then why stay at all? Why not go home?”

I shrugged. “Because I want to help the Inquisition.” I didn’t tell him that I actually didn’t know how to get home. I tried to give him a winning smile then, hoping that it would convince him to trust me. Hey, it couldn’t hurt!

Varric laughed at me. “You’re crazy.”

Looking around this somehow real room from a video game, I thought to myself, You have no idea.

Chapter Text

Varric soon left me after deciding I was senseless, but who could blame him? I finished off some chicken and various veggies, which were surprisingly hot, even though they seemed to have been sitting out for a few hours. Were there fire runes used to keep the food warm? Hmm.

Now that I was well fed, I continued my mission to ask that hobo elf some questions. Walking past Varric, who had continued his scribbling at the table nearest the rotunda, I gave him a small nod and pushed the wooden door open. Just like the obnoxiously loud way my Inquisitor always did.

Entering Solas’s study, I stopped to see two elves engaged in intimate conversation. Solas and Lavellan stood there awkwardly, obviously interrupted by my sudden appearance. The Dread Wolf had been holding her hand, but he dropped it and cleared his throat. “Um, yes?” he asked me.

Well, I certainly didn’t want to cock-block the Inquisitor, so I quickly rushed past the two towards the staircase that led upstairs. “Don’t mind me!” I shouted as I skipped along.

Not looking back, I bounded up the stairs as quickly as I could. Not that quickly, though, as I was wayyyy out of shape.

Huffing at the top, I looked at the library around me. Why are all the steps in this game so damn tall??

A few of the library dwellers stared at me oddly, but soon turned back to their work. I tiptoed over to the balcony railing, eager to listen in on the couple’s conversation.

Leaning over, I peered down at the two elves below me. I could barely hear them, they spoke in such soft voices.

“Vhenan, the new power you wield... the magic of the Knight-Enchanter…” Solas began.

She nodded at him, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side.

“And what do we have here?” A voice behind me caused me to jump. I looked around to find Dorian smiling at me with an eyebrow in the air.

“Nothing! Just observing,” I explained.

“Ah, yes, observing! An activity also known as spying,” Dorian smirked.

I snorted. “Yeah, pretty much,” I agreed. I looked back down at the two. I had missed some of the conversation.

Solas was holding her hand again. “I wonder what they would think to see their magic in defense of the Chantry,” the elf-god commented, a perfect replica of his in-game speech.

The Inquisitor contemplated for a moment before responding. “They would be proud,” she concluded. Solas beamed. My character knew all the right dialogue options. I pondered at the fact that she did this on her own, without me. Was she somehow programmed to answer in the ways Solas found most appealing? Maybe she really was his soulmate, or whatever.

Dorian leaned against the railing alongside me, watching the couple below. “Oh, these two!” He tsk-tsked. “The longful side-glances.”

“Mmm,” I conceded. “Indomitable angst.” I have yet to see it dominated...

It was Dorian’s turn to snort. “Whatever do you mean by that?”

“Oh, you know...” I put my hand palm-up to my forehead dramatically. “Oh, how can we ever be happy?! These forces are trying to keep us apart...” I sighed theatrically.

Dorian laughed. “Such a curious thing to say in these trying times... Who are you?”

“I’m Anna,” I told him. “I’ve come to help with the Inquisition.” I hoped that Dorian hadn’t heard of my sudden falling from the sky. I was sick of making up explanations.

“How noble of you.” Dorian gave me a once-over. “And where are you from?” he asked apprehensively, looking at my outfit. Of course Dorian would be the first one to notice I was dressed strangely.

Great, I thought. More lies I have to make up. “I’m from somewhere very small, and obscure,” I said, thinking of what Solas had told them when he joined. But I knew I couldn’t lie forever. My Thedas geography was not up to par. “I’d like to know something, though,” I said, changing the subject instead. “You’re from Tevinter, right?”

The sudden switch startled him. “Yes...” Dorian said warily.

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I could tell by your clothing! I’ve always wanted to try the fashion from Minrathous, but alas, I’ve never been able to afford it...” I tried to sound pathetic.

Dorian’s features softened instantly. He had a poor-little-peasant-girl look on his face. “Oh, I know,” he said. “Tevinter silks just rob you.” He smiled at me. “I am Dorian of House Pavus, by the way,” he said, bowing his head.

Thank goodness Dorian was so easily distracted by fashion. I smiled at him. “You know, I saw a very pretty Orlesian woman around here—”

“Was she wearing a mint-colored mask?” Dorian interrupted. “Did she mock your hair as well? I told her that if it wasn’t for her mask, everyone would see her atrocious Antivan hairdo.” Dorian was probably better at The Game than whoever that was.

“Uh, no,” I laughed. “I believe her name was... Vivienne?”

“Ah,” said Dorian in recognition. “Our dear Orlesian peacock. What of her?”

“Well, I thought her outfit was quite… overdone. That large collar, and the horns,” I said with a smile. “I admit, I’ve never had a taste for the fashion of Val Royeaux. What do you think of it?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Do not get me started on Orlesian trends. Everything is so ostentatious and gaudy. Tevinter fashion is far more elegant in its subtlety. There is pride in the craftsmanship, the fabric, the detail.”

“Yes,” I agreed, eyeing the twenty unnecessary belts of his own outfit. “Much more thoughtful in design, wouldn’t you say?” Pfft.

Dorian looked at me, delighted by our united shit-talking. “I like you,” he said. He looked down at my clothing again. “But... this”—he gestured to my body—“will have to go.”

I clapped my hands together as if in prayer. “Please help me!” I said in excitement.

“Well, I haven’t anything else to do.” He smiled with a shrug. “Come this way.”

Chapter Text

Dorian and I headed to the market area of Skyhold. We had to walk through the bottom of the rotunda to get there, and I noticed the two elves had disappeared. “Where’d Solas and the Inquisitor go?” I asked absently.

“Probably to do what most couples do,” Dorian answered.

“Wait,” I stopped in the doorway he had just stepped through. “You mean, like, to the bedroom?”

Dorian looked back at me, rolling his eyes. “Is that so shocking?” He contemplated a moment. “Well, I suppose considering that it’s Solas, who would want to be intimate with him?” He frowned, shuddering. “I rather not picture it.”

He continued on, and I followed. So they actually do it??? I thought excitedly to myself. My Inquisitor definitely gets it on, Patrick Weekes.

When Dorian and I arrived at the market, we went straight to a man selling armor, although upon closer inspection he sold normal clothing, too. All sorts of colorful garments hung from his booth, and Dorian had a keen eye for what would suit me.

The merchant let us browse freely through the clothing, and Dorian soon gasped when he found the perfect outfit. “This… this is it,” he said excitedly.

He held up a burgundy-colored fitted top, that also came with coordinating trousers (as every outfit in this game seemed to do...). It had a high neck, but the arms were exposed, like a tight-fitting sleeveless turtleneck.

“Oh,” I said in interest. I examined the garment closer. Its cloth was embroidered with beautiful swirls of a darker wine color, resembling intricate flower petals.

“It’s Tevinter, straight from Minrathous,” Dorian exclaimed. “Try it on!” Someone was excited.

Well, I couldn’t stay in my real-world clothes, anyway. The merchant gestured to an area behind a curtain in his booth for me to dress in. I changed as fast as I could into the new ensemble, finding the number of buttons and ties annoying. No zippers, huh?

When I emerged, Dorian clapped his hands in approval. “Oh, thank the Maker. I was just about to set you on fire for your previous atrocity.”

I smiled and did a little spin for him. He beamed, nodding. The merchant also seemed to approve, bobbing his head fervently in anticipation of a sale.

I giggled at the encouragement, until it dawned on me that I didn’t have any money. Shit.

“Um, I actually can’t pay for this,” I said pathetically. “I’m completely broke.”

The seller glared at me. “Take it off, then,” he spat.

“Not a sovereign to your name?” Dorian said.

I shrugged. “I came here with nothing.”

“Well, I certainly can’t allow you to wear that other foul transgression,” Dorian said. “Allow me.”

“What?” I exclaimed in shock. “No, you really don’t have to!”

But Dorian had already whipped out his coin purse and paid for the garment. He gave the merchant a wink, as if they had some secret bargain.

“Wow, thank you, Dorian!” I said. “That’s really too kind of you.”

“Nonsense, it’s a steal,” he said as we left the booth. “That merchant owes me a favor, anyway. I was the one who connected him to his supplier in Minrathous.”

We walked back side-by-side to the main hall, as Dorian was no longer ashamed to be seen promenading with me. Once we were inside though, he remembered he needed to research something in the library.

“It was lovely meeting you, Anna,” Dorian said in goodbye. “Feel free to bother me any time—fashion emergency or not.”

Strolling into the rotunda, I noticed Solas had now returned. He was sitting at his desk, studying a book or something. Solas looked up when he heard us come in, and stood when he saw me. His eyes instantly took in the outfit change and Dorian beside me, figuring out the math for himself.

“Thanks again, Dorian!” I called after the mage as he headed upstairs. What a guy. My gaze turned to Solas, and I gave him a curtsy. “Pretty nice, huh?” I asked him. “Dorian got it for me.”

Solas folded his arms. “Have you threatened him with his secrets as well?” he asked in a low voice so the others would not hear.

“What? No, he’s just nice,” I said. “Unlike some people…”

Solas rolled his eyes and walked past me, climbing up the scaffolding to his mural. He gestured to the torch on the platform, which blazed up in response, and continued to paint Halamshiral as if I wasn’t there. Rude, much?

I sat on the nearby couch and watched him paint Empress Celene. He was nearly finished now and doing some final touches. He stood back from the mural, observing it as a whole before adding a highlight here, blending a gradient there... I noticed as he did this that several paint blotches marked his hobo outfit, making his clothing even worse to look at.

Staring at his apostate disguise, it was hard to imagine he ever looked noble or godly. I pictured a gold crown on his bald head, pointy ears sticking out from under it.

I didn’t know what a royal elvhen in Arlathan would actually look like, but my mind thought of Dalish Keeper robes. Though Solas probably thought such armor was a gross misinterpretation of ancient elvhen clothing. He just loved the Dalish hater-ade. I snickered at how I’d always equipped him in it. The horror he must think.

Solas turned around at my laugh, crossing his arms and getting even more plaster on himself. “Will you watch everything I do from now on?”

“What else is there to do around here?” I shrugged. “Plus, I need to find a way to make you understand that I know the future.”

“Perhaps if you gave me actual valuable information, I would be inclined to believe you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can’t you give me a break, Solas? This has literally been the most insane day of my life.”

Solas sighed, and turned back to his mural, picking up his brush. “I suppose you would need some time to adjust… if your story is true.”

“So did you have fun at Halamshiral?” I asked, staring at his painting.

The elf paused. “Fun? It was quite a violent affair.”

“Yeah, besides the violence. Did you like the dancing and stuff?” I said from the couch. “I mean, didn’t you love all those parties in Elvhenan? How did it compare to those?”

Solas’s eyes widened in horror at the mention of his former life, his gaze gesturing upwards towards the people above.

I rolled my eyes. “The parties in the Fade, I mean,” I added. I got up from the couch and walked closer to him, placing my hand on one of the beams supporting his platform. “Calm down. They aren’t paying attention,” I whispered, looking up at him.

Solas narrowed his eyes down at me. “Even if that were true, I would not risk telling you the answer here.”

I exhaled in annoyance. “So paranoid.”

I went to sit back on the couch, lying down this time. Solas turned back to his mural, and I stared at the birds above. What if they poop on me? I thought, suddenly terrified.

“Solas,” I called.

“Yes?” he asked without turning around, sounding annoyed.

“Do you ever find… raven droppings down here?”

He huffed, but still didn’t turn. “No,” he answered. “I have placed a ward.”

I laughed. Of course. Solas always thought of everything.

He continued his painting, and I closed my eyes, listening to the (surprisingly clear) sound of the swish-swish of his brush and the faint caw-caw of the birds above. It was strangely meditative, in a way.

Without realizing it, I started to drift to sleep... Perhaps my time in Skyhold would be shorter than I thought.

Chapter Text

I opened my eyes and blinked away the fogginess. As the world got clearer, it was obvious that I was not back at home. I was in a palace, and it was filled with elves.

This place was beautifully bright and huge, and there seemed to be a party going on. People were everywhere in lavish gowns and suits. I stood in a large foyer with ornate crystal dressings trickling down from its domed ceiling. Swanky.

I walked among the fancy elves, each of them chatting and laughing in dainty voices to each other. None of them seemed to notice I was there.

A gentle floral scent filled the air that was pleasant and unobtrusive. Lights floated in the raised ceiling that were actually balls of veilfire glowing different colors. They coordinated with each other, flashing from blue to gold hues in a slow rhythm. The surrounding columns had crystals intertwined within them as well, glittering with magic… It was dazzling.

I walked up some stairs, heading to the place that everyone seemed to be drifting towards. The carpet was soft beneath my feet. I looked down and noticed I wasn’t wearing shoes. Okay...

When I reached the top, I saw Solas standing there, dressed in an elegant high-necked suit and giving me a knowing smile. It was like a scene straight outta Titanic.

He cleaned up good. Solas wasn’t bald either, with dark auburn hair flowing down to his shoulders. I was surprised I even recognized him, but he was the only person here who seemed to notice my existence.

“Fen’Harel,” I said, giving a little bow. I pointed a finger at him. “Did you just bring me to the Fade?”

Solas smiled. “You asked about the parties of Elvhenan, so I am showing you.” He gestured for me to take his arm. I was liking this Solas better already.

I laced my arm around his, and he escorted me into the main ballroom, explaining along the way that only he could see me here. “This is a memory of mine from long ago,” he said.

“So you’re saying it’s gonna be biased?” I teased.

He chuckled lightly. “Most certainly.”

Once inside, Solas released my arm and gave me a little nod. He then proceeded to mingle with the guests, laughing and conversing as they all were. I watched as the elves glowed at his arrival, lightly touching his arm or giggling at whatever he said. They were lapping him up.

His suit had some thin fur trimmings, probably wolf. One woman seemed very interested in it, leaning in close and rubbing the material between her thumb and forefinger. Solas smiled at her alluringly, and soon the pair hit the dance floor.

The two weaved in and out of other couples, all knowing this ancient dance routine. Solas was very graceful, and it almost seemed like he was the star of the show. He stood out that much, and I wondered if this really was the bias of his memory.

It was kind of a long dance, though, and I got a little bored watching. I turned my attention elsewhere and wandered the room again.

There were tables lined with copious amounts of delicacies. Some of the food even twinkled. And oh, the frills on these cakes! Solas must have been in heaven.

I giggled in fangirl delight until I noticed someone standing nearby. It was an elf, like everyone else, except this one was standing at attention and was much more modestly dressed. A servant. Or more likely, a slave.

My eyes flashed to his forehead. It was branded with the tree of Mythal. Vallaslin, just like my Inquisitor’s. Was this Mythal’s palace? Were Elgar’nan and Mythal the party hosts?

“Enjoying yourself?”

I turned around to see Solas standing behind me.

“Not like you are,” I said. “Dancing with some random hottie elvhen. Must be fun, huh?”

He smiled wistfully. “Yes. It was.”

“Is this Mythal’s palace?” I asked, changing the subject.

“You have a keen eye,” he said, looking at me. “Elgar’nan held this affair after Falon’Din had a particularly impressive gathering.” His eyes flitted to one of the servants bitterly.

Solas turned his gaze back on me. “How do you know so much?” he asked.

I sighed, shrugging. “I honestly don’t know how else to explain it to you. It was just shown to me in the Fade, that’s all.” Cough.

“It is surprising how instantly aware of the Fade you were when I brought you here.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “An unheard of capability for one with no magical attributes.”

“Maybe I do have magic then, I dunno.” I shrugged again. That’d be cool. “But I’ve never been able to do anything.”

Solas hummed. “Can you show me some of what you have seen? As I have shown you?” He gestured to the party around him.

Ah. So this was a transaction for Solas, the real reason he’d brought me here. I thought for a moment. Would I even be able to manipulate the Fade, though? It was supposed to display imagination. I tried to think of an appropriate memory to show him. Something that only he would know.

I remembered the kiss with the Inquisitor in the Fade. It seemed to be one of their more private moments that he would keep secret. I thought of the cutscene I had embarrassingly replayed a thousand times, recalling every detail as best I could.

Solas watched me as I attempted this, arms behind his back. He stared down at me curiously.

Nothing was happening. “How am I supposed to do this?” I asked him.

“Try projecting your thoughts to the surroundings,” he explained. “Imagine the setting you want to see. Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin...”

I closed my eyes, trying to think of the game cinematic. It wasn’t easy to imagine the things Solas suggested, since I had never actually been there. I attempted to envision what it would be like, though. The chilly air of the Frostback Mountains, snow falling lightly everywhere… Ummm, what else was there?

“Anna,” Solas said.

My eyes flew open at the sound. The surroundings had changed to Haven. Oh, shit. I just changed the Fade, baby!

Chapter Text

Party-version Solas and I watched as hobo-version Solas smooched the Inquisitor. The bald elf was shaking his head, about to go back in for the second kiss, when suddenly it all faded away.

We were back at the party. I looked at Solas, confused at what had happened.

“We do not have to watch it all,” he said tiredly. “I find it strange you chose that memory to present to me.”

I shrugged. It was the first scene I could think of that was not in the future, but still showed him I knew my shit.

“I am certain only the Inquisitor and I were present in that dream,” he said all matter-of-factly. “If you have seen it before, then you have witnessed things about me without my awareness.” His eyes scrutinized me. “Though it does not prove you know the future.”

“I know,” I replied. “But if I show you the future, it may alter it too greatly.” I tried to sound ominous.

“Hmm,” Solas considered. “Very well. I suppose you have shown me enough.”

I smiled, and then glancing around the ballroom, asked him, “What does Mythal look like, anyway?”

Solas smiled back at me, a devious glint in his eye. “That you will have to imagine on your own, after you wake up.”

I then jolted up on the rotunda couch. He did the same wake-up thing to me he did to Lavellan!

I looked up at the scaffolding to see Solas was still painting, as if nothing had happened. There was a suspiciously fresh blue streak across his arm though, as if he had grabbed his brush too quickly from a sudden movement...

“Sleep well?” he asked me, not even turning around, smugness clearly in his voice.

I crossed my arms. “It’s very rude to wake a person like that, Solas,” I sneered at him. “It feels DREADful.”

Solas stopped painting and turned around, flashing me a smirk. He then placed his paintbrush on the scaffolding.

“Halamshiral is complete,” he said, referring to the mural. He climbed down the ladder to look at his work from afar.

I stood up from the couch and stretched. The sofa had not been all that comfortable, and I was kind of sore. I walked over towards him, looking at the mural. “You’re really good at painting,” I said.

“Thank you,” he said, “but it is not so difficult. I first outline the composition in the Fade, and when waking, I bring the work to life.”

Brings his work to life? “Like a god...” I commented. He shot me a warning look. I laughed a little, recalling when I had first seen him painting in the Fade.

And then I remembered. I had just gone to sleep, but didn’t return to the real world. My theory of sleeping in this world to return to the other must be wrong then. Unless this hobo-god interfered or something. I sighed.

Solas noticed and asked, “Something wrong?”

“I don’t know how I’m getting out of here.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “One usually starts by using the door,” he told me sarcastically, pointing towards the closest one.

I crossed my arms. “Are you trying to get rid of me or something?”

“It would be quieter if you left,” Solas said. “And until you prove to me that you actually know the future, there is little you can help me with.” He moved to sit at his desk, casually opening one of the giant, old-ass books he had on it.

I glanced over his shoulder to see what he was reading. All the writing was in glyphs I couldn’t recognize. “Is this Ancient Elvish?” I asked him.

He didn’t turn around. “Yes.”

“What is it about?”

“Elvhenan.”

“What more would you need to know about that?”

“...”

“Solas?”

“...”

“Solas??”

“Please leave.”

I exhaled exasperatedly. I supposed I was annoying him, but he sure could be rude sometimes. I decided to leave him be. For a little while, at least. “See ya,” I said.

“Goodbye,” he returned.

I left the rotunda, slowly taking my steps without any particular destination in mind. How should I prove to him that I knew the future, that his orb would break? If I could predict some smaller event that would occur soon, he’d probably start believing me. But I wasn’t really sure where I was in the DA: Inquisition timeline.

I knew that they had recently gotten back from the Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts quest, but that didn’t inform me about completed side-quests. Where was the “journal” that everything was kept in?? I recalled the many times my Inquisitor mentioned the so-called “reports” everyone was always writing. Where were those? The library? Who was always writing…

Scribbles, I thought. I left in search of Josephine.

Chapter Text

Josie was in her regular spot: the cozy desk on the way to the War Table. I opened the door and was surprised by the heat of the room. Everywhere else was a bit chilly. Especially Solas’s rotunda. And that wolf never wore shoes. Was he immune to cold?

Just like her fan nickname implied, Josephine was scribbling away, and luckily alone. I supposed it was the evening time now, judging by the setting sun. How did you tell time here? I had to have Solas teach me.

She looked up, startled by the noise of me opening the door. Her sleeves seriously glowed in the firelight. Glittering wildly like gold.

“What may I do for you?” she asked politely, breaking my brief sleeve reverie.

I knew I had to whip out the lies now. “Hello, my name is Anna. I’m new to the Inquisition, and Inquisitor Lavellan suggested that I get acquainted with where it stands currently.” Was I getting better at this or what?

“Oh,” Josephine said in a surprised tone. “Thank you for joining our cause.”

I bobbed my head. “I’m already informed on the news concerning Corypheus, however I’d like to know more about other events.”

“Other events?”

“Yeah, like has Varric gotten any visitors, did we kill any snowy wyverns, does Cole need an amulet... that sort of thing.” I counted the missions on my fingers.

Josephine blinked at me in disbelief. “It is funny that you should mention those things, because all of them have recently happened. How very coincidental…”

“Well, that is actually why I joined the Inquisition,” I said, then altered my voice to a low whisper to say, “I have the second-sight.”

“Oh!” said Josie, intrigued now. “Are you quite certain you have this ability?”

I shrugged. “Only with some things.”

“I see,” she said, thoughtful. “What else have you predicted?”

I proceeded to list all the companion side-quests I could remember, excluding hers. I didn’t want to freak her out about her family, in case she didn’t already know. I was careful not to give any specific details about each quest, just a vague reference that she would pick up if it sounded familiar.

Josephine listened attentively and informed me about each situation. Most of these quests were completed, save one: Thom Rainier’s. Guess it’s Blackwall’s next, then.

Satisfied that I had found something viable to predict to Solas, I moved on to another issue that was plaguing my mind. “Also, is it possible for me to sleep in a room here?” I tried to be as polite as I could. Josephine was so nice.

“But of course,” she said, and told me of an empty room I could take up residence in.

I said my thanks and quickly skipped outta there. I wasn’t sure if it was because Josie was always this accommodating, but she sure seemed gullible. Almost dangerously so. Hmmmm... Was my fortune-telling that compelling?

Josephine had given me verbal directions on how to get to the room, but if it wasn’t for my prior extensive knowledge of the fortress, I would have surely gotten lost. They were like the longest directions ever:

“Go out the main hall and down the staircase that leads to the upper courtyard and walk up the stairway to the left of the tavern where you will then take a right and go all the way along the battlements until you reach the mage tower, from there, remain on the same floor and continue walking along those battlements until you enter the fourth door, and from there you take another left, which leads to a much longer corridor where you will walk down the stairs one floor and turn around the corner. From there you take the fifth door and you will find your new quarters.”

“Maybe you should make a map of this place,” I said, blinking at the information.

Josie smiled. “I am working on it,” she said.

After about what felt like twenty minutes of ambling around Skyhold, I was finally coming to my room when a figure appeared in front of me.

“It hurts… Why didn’t she ever go to the gym when her roommate invited her? Why are there so many stairs in this place? She feels like she just did a step aerobics class.”

It was Cole. Reading my thoughts aloud. “Hi,” I said, smiling at my first sighting of the spirit. I examined his ensemble. Solas might be considered a hobo by Dorian and Vivienne, but Cole had that look down to a T. That, or he looked like a weird ragdoll.

He observed me curiously. “You’re not like the others… You know things, like I know things, but you can’t hear.”

I nodded. “I’m Anna. I came here by accident.” I thought about how I fell from the sky.

“You want to get back, but you don’t want to leave. You want to help the wolf.”

“Yes,” I said cautiously. “But I must do it in secret. If the others find out, they might be hurt.” Little Cole. He was so cute.

Cole nodded and looked at me strangely. “You like me.”

I chuckled. “Of course I do, silly spirit!”

“But I don’t know you,” he wondered.

I patted him lightly on the arm. “You know enough,” I said, shrugging. “I’m going to my new room, wanna see?” I opened the wooden door, gesturing inside.

“Someone died in there once, they screamed, shouted, but no one showed…”

“What!” I exclaimed, looking into the room nervously. “Why would you tell me that???”

“I hope you help his hurt,” he said, before disappearing.

And I hope this room doesn’t have some creepy ghost, I thought. Thanks a lot, Cole. Some spirit of compassion, you are.

I looked at the state of my new room. It was dark and musty. And super dusty. But at least it didn’t have a tree busting through the wall, like I knew some rooms had.

There was a bed though and a little stand you could build a fire in. Also a table and a desk. A small wardrobe. It was kind of quaintly cute.

I walked over to the fire stand, determined to get some warmth into the room. There were some logs in there, but none were lit. Damn. Where’s a lighter when you need one?

I sighed, frustrated. I found two little sticks and started rubbing them together, boy scout style. After a few minutes of nothing, I gave up. I was no boy scout.

It was really dark in there too since there was only one tiny window, and nothing but moonlight to fill the room. There were a couple of half-used candles on the table, but those were sadly also not lit.

I resigned to sitting on the bed, testing the springiness of the mattress, a cloud of dust puffing up in return. Unfortunately, it barely sprung at all because I was pretty sure the bed was made out of straw. Sigh. Even Solas’s sofa was more comfortable than this.

I pondered the idea of forcing myself to try and sleep until the morning came, but then another thought came to me. There was always the tavern.

Beer sounded good.

Chapter Text

I took my time walking to the tavern. Josephine had assigned me a room in the middle of nowhere, so I figured getting to any location would be a pain from now on. Sigh.

I eventually saw Cassandra practicing in her usual place with the dummies. Even though it was dark out... And she had been practicing all day already... Now that was a woman who just won’t quit. I stopped for a moment, thinking about speaking to her. Nah, I thought. Beer first.

I pushed the door to the tavern open and strolled in. It was warm inside the building, luckily, since the outside chill was starting to get to me. I sat down in front of Cabot the bartender and asked for an ale. That’s what they drink in this game, right?

He poured me a glass and set it on the bar, looking at me expectantly.

I stared back. “What?”

Cabot didn’t reply but simply crossed his arms, appearing annoyed. Oh. Money. It had never occurred to me that I would need to pay for this drink. The cutscenes in the game didn’t show the Inquisition paying, so I had just figured it was free like the main hall food. The tavern must be similar to the shop stalls outside, then. Whoops.

I looked around nervously, panicking about what to do.

“Put it on my tab, Cabot,” a deep, instantly recognizable voice from behind me said.

I wheeled around to see The Iron Bull looking down at me, one eyebrow cocked in the air. He sat down next to me and ordered an ale for himself.

Cabot nodded to Bull and left without a word.

“Thanks for that,” I said.

“No problem,” he said. “I figured someone who’s just fallen from the sky would need a little monetary help.”

I laughed. “You were right,” I said.

Bull received his beverage then and clinked his glass with mine. “Drink up!” he said. We both took a swig.

The taste shocked me. It was extremely bitter and very potent. “Ugh,” I said, my displeasure obvious. The alcohol had gone straight to my stomach, burning a little.

Iron Bull chuckled. “Name’s The Iron Bull, by the way.”

“Anna,” I said, pointing at myself. “Nice to officially meet you.” I smiled, taking in his large, rather grey form.

“What brought you to the Inquisition, anyway?”

“It was kind of an accident.” I shrugged. “But I want to help with what you guys are doing, so I’m staying.”

Iron Bull nodded, smiling at the idea. Iron Bull slightly approves, I thought to myself. “Why did you join?” I asked him, even though I already knew the answer. I had to pretend to be a normal person at least sometimes.

“Well, I’m getting paid to be here.” Bull took another sip. “I lead the Chargers. We’re mercenaries.” I noticed he was eyeing the bard singing in the corner.

We watched Maryden perform for a while. My ale was disappearing at a much slower rate than Bull’s, but I eventually saw the bottom of my glass. And I found myself prettay intoxicated. I hiccuped.

“Do you only grow hair on your face?” I asked, studying the Qunari. There was none on his head or exposed chest that I could discern.

“And here,” said Bull, lifting up his right arm and pointing to his armpit. That was hairy too. “As well as... other places,” he added slyly, lifting his brow in suggestion.

“Heh.” I nodded.

Iron Prinze, Jr. laughed at me. “Straight to the personal questions!” He looked at me thoughtfully. “I’m glad you’re here, kid. We need more people like you who actually inquire.”

I considered what he said. My fake psychic abilities were limited to whatever I’d played in the game. Maybe I could add “peculiar inquiring” to my Inquisition résumé of helpful abilities. Junior Inquisitor? I snorted at the thought.

Bull stood up, patting me on the back. “Good drinking with you, Anna.” He walked away, making it obvious that there was more interesting company he wanted to engage with. He began chatting up the bard, who had stopped her singing to have a meal.

As I watched Iron Bull try to schmooze the singer, a loud English, elfy voice behind me sang, “Well, what do we have ‘ere?” Why was every character in Skyhold introduced to me when my back’s turned?

“Sera,” I said, not even bothering to feign ignorance. The alcohol had really gotten to my little secret agent game.

“Who’re you? How do you know me?” she asked, confused.

I mused the idea of telling her I was a friend of Red Jenny, but thought better of it. I wasn’t that drunk. “Everyone in the tavern’s been talking about you.” I gestured around the room, which had, like, three people in it. A slow day for Cabot. I took the last sip of my ale, making a face. “I’m Anna.”

“And here I thought you were just a pretty thing being all sad about herself and shite.” She sat down beside me. “But you’re actually a drunk pretty thing.” Was she hitting on me?

I wiped my mouth of any lingering ale and looked her square in the eye. “Let’s do some pranks,” I said. “You up for it?” I didn’t really care if she thought I was weird. Because honestly, who actually listened to Sera? She was the only one you could kick out of the Inquisition at any time. Even if she deemed me crazy or dangerous, nobody would suspect me.

“What?” Sera chuckled maniacally. “Always, yeah? I’ve been meaning to prank that Cullen prick for a while.”

“No, I’m thinkin’ someone else...”

She looked at me, eyes bright with excitement. “Who??” she laughed.

I smiled at her. “Solas.”

Chapter Text

“Pfft! Droopy ears? I put lizards in his bedroll just last week,” she snorted, laughing at her own antic.

I smiled. “It’s time for a new one then.”

“What do you have in mind, drunky?” She laughed.

I had to think for a bit. What did Solas really deserve? (That wouldn’t make him angry enough to kill me in revenge…)

“I’ve got it!” I exclaimed, a finger in the air. “But we have to wait for when he leaves the rotunda.”

“Which is, like, never,” Sera said.

I raised an eyebrow. “Not if the Inquisitor’s involved.”

“Involve Inky, too?” Sera snickered furiously. “This is gonna be good.” She was on the edge of her seat, waiting for instructions. Sera barely knew me, but she was already eager to form a pranky alliance.

“You know how Leliana’s ravens hang above Solas’s desk?” I prompted.

“Yeah, of course! They’re always squawking and the like.”

“But have you noticed how they never poo on Solas? It’s because he put up an invisible barrier,” I said.

“He uses magic to protect himself from bird shite? Ugh, that elf. Can’t do anythin’ normal,” she said.

We then proceeded to discuss the best way to break his barrier. Sera didn’t like the idea of using magic to break it, suggesting an arrow would be the best course of action.

“Yeah, but if it can block bird poop”—Sera giggled at the mention of poop—“won’t it block an arrow?” I inquired.

“Not my arrow,” she assured.

I considered it a moment. It would be more intrusive than raven shite. “Okay, let’s do that then,” I said.

Sera laughed hysterically. “Yes! This is gonna be classic.”

We parted ways under the plan that tomorrow I was going to get the Inquisitor to take Solas away from his room. Sera and I would then sneak into the top floor of the tower and shoot an arrow down, breaking the barrier. Then all we needed to do was clean up any evidence of the arrow, and the birds would do the rest for us. It was a solid enough plan.

I staggered back to my bed slightly more sober, pulling the stiff covers over my body. And even though it was cold, I easily fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

I woke up the next day, groggy and assuming I was in my bedroom at home. My real one. But as I blinked up at the wooden ceiling, I remembered my new Skyhold habitation. So that meant sleeping wouldn't send me back home, regardless if Solas was in my dream or not. At least I like this game. It could be worse.

My fogged-up brain slowly recalled the events from last night. Right. Gotta get Solas out of that rotunda. I got out of bed, stretching my limbs. I felt kind of gross. Where do you shower around here?? I realized then that I hadn’t used a toilet since arriving. I had to go.

I jumped up and put on my clothes, rushing out the door. I blundered down the hall, looking for a door that could lead to a bathroom. There was one at the end of the hallway that was smaller than the rest of the bedrooms. I pushed it open and thankfully found a toilet.

Squatting over a wooden port-a-potty (that’s basically what it was), I relieved myself. “Sweet Sylaise!” I exclaimed.

“Are you putting out a fire?” a voice called behind the closed door I had just passed through.

“Um, no…” I said, embarrassed. I hurried as quickly as I could and finished. When I stepped out, it was Solas leaning against the wall near the bathroom.

“Do you always cry out elven gods when you micturate?” he asked, highly amused. Solas pushed himself from the wall and headed towards the bathroom door. “If that is true, I have a better one in mind to call,” he whispered, smirking at me. He continued to walk.

“Solas, wait!” I said to him. “Is this the only bath on this floor?”

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at me. “Yes.”

“Then why are you using it?” I asked. Why was he here?

Solas turned around. “My quarters are in this corridor,” he said simply.

“You don’t sleep in the rotunda?”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “No? I would hardly consider that a room for sleeping.” A small smile appeared on his lips. “Although, I suppose you did, not long after your arrival.”

“Ohhhhh,” I said, “I thought you slept there.”

“No, I do not,” he said. “Now if you would excuse me.” He disappeared behind the door. Realizing he was now busy, I thought of the prank. Time to move!

I ran in the direction of the Inquisitor’s quarters.

Just as I made my way up the steps to the throne, Lavellan burst out of the quarters. She gave me a small nod, “Anna, right?” Can’t you enter a room a little less violently??

I smiled, “Yes, I—” but was cut off by another person running beside me. “Inquisitor!” a messenger said, handing her a crumpled note. “Blackwall’s gone missing!”

Chapter Text

The Inquisitor read the note. “We should head to Val Royeaux immediately.”

Lavellan walked past me, completely ignoring our previous (almost) conversation. I turned to see she was headed towards the rotunda and followed. Solas was already in there, ready for the day.

“Vhenan,” he said to her. He glanced at me, frowning. “You.” Yeah, whatever, wolf.

“Solas,” she replied. “Blackwall is missing. We think he’s headed to Val Royeaux to see an execution.”

Solas nodded. “I shall prepare for departure immediately.”

The Inquisitor nodded then exited in a rush, probably to go gather other companions.

Now was my chance to prove I knew the future! “I know what’s going to happen there,” I said once she was gone. “The future.”

He arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “And what is that?”

“They’re going to execute a guy, but Blackwall stops them because he’s the actual criminal. And his real name is Thom Rainier, not Blackwall.” I thought a moment. “... and he’s not even a Grey Warden,” I whispered quickly at the end.

Now both of Solas’s eyebrows were raised as he considered my words. “I suppose we shall see if you are right.”

“I am right,” I countered.

He walked out of the rotunda. “We shall see!” he called.

* * *

Well, obviously, it went exactly as I predicted.

The moment the companions returned to Skyhold, Solas sought me out. “I need to speak with you,” he said, a prominent frown on his face as he gestured for me to follow him. He ended up bringing me to his quarters so we could talk in private.

“You were correct in the end,” Solas said.

I nodded. “So… do you believe me? That I know the future?” I looked around the room then, as I’d never been in his bedroom before. There were shelves lined with books, a little table that his staff leaned upon. It wasn’t much different from my own room, besides those possessions of his.

Solas sighed, rubbing his eyes with a hand. “I suppose.”

I snapped my gaze back to him. “Suppose?”

“You claim the orb will break,” he said in a low voice, folding his arms. “I have much to deliberate.”

“Well, aren’t you glad of the warning at least?”

He stared at me, eyes narrowed. “How can I know which of your visions are true and which are not? The future could change—or you may even invent stories to deceive me.”

I sighed noisily in frustration. “Solas, I told you; I want to help. I’m not lying. I want to help protect your orb so we can stop Corypheus and save the world.”

“Then when will the orb break?” he said, growing tetchier by the second.

I swallowed. The orb wouldn’t break until the end of the game, and they still had to do the Temple of Mythal quest to get to it. “Not for a while.”

He lifted his chin, his patience running thin. “If you do not tell me—” Solas raised one of his hands, and it started to glow a threatening blue.

“I’ll tell you when it’s closer!” I said, then took a breath. “I’m—I’m worried that if I tell you too soon, the future will change and it could end up even worse.”

He paused, his hand going back to normal. “So… in your visions, the orb is broken, and Corypheus is never defeated?”

“The orb breaks… I’m not sure what happens after,” I lied. “I woke up here.”

“There are many holes in your story, Anna,” Solas said, quite suspicious.

“Well, it’s not like it makes sense to me either!” I exclaimed, gesturing with my hands. “I don’t know why or how any of this happened to me.”

Solas exhaled. “All right. For now, I will assume you are correct,” he said. “But you must tell me the moment the event draws near. So I may prepare.”

“Yes, of course,” I said, nodding. “Solas, you can trust me.”

“Trust you,” he scoffed. “Why? Because you claim to wish to help me? Blackwall came to help, and yet all he said were lies.” Solas closed his eyes briefly. “You must realize the threat you are to me.”

“But what would I even gain by telling them your secrets?” I said. “If I told them, they might not even believe me. And then you’d probably kill me! And if they did believe me, it could change the future for the worst.” I swallowed. “They need you for Corypheus, Solas. Why would I risk that?”

He took a deep breath, running a hand down his face in aggravation. “Fine.” He reached for the door handle.

“So you’re not gonna kill me?” I asked.

Solas arched a brow, holding the door open for me to leave. “You think I have reason to?”

I shrugged as I exited through it. “Yes?” I said, looking back at him.

“Good. Some caution would benefit you.” He shut the door in my face.

Psh. Caution? This was a goddamn video game! If anything, I should be doing even weirder stuff. Who knew if this kind of opportunity would ever come to me again?

I walked down the corridor and decided to go grab some food in the main hall. Well, at least Solas believed me now.

Chapter Text

I sat in a huge lecture hall, college students scribbling frantically around me. Some had their laptops out and typed in a rhythmic click-click. I glanced at my own notebook, jotting down the speaker’s words.

I looked at the professor. It was Solas, but he wore normal, real-world clothes. A button-down, slacks, glasses. He gestured to the projector screen, talking about something I didn’t understand. I raised my hand. “Professor Hahren?” I asked.

He turned his gaze to me.

“Can I use the restroom?”

He nodded. “Use the bathroom pass.”

But I just stood up and left, exiting the room. I walked out of the lecture and entered a hall that looked like my high school’s. A bell rang, flooding the endless linoleum with students. Everyone was on their phones or talking to other people, ignoring me.

I stepped out of the hallway and was outside. It was now my college campus. The sun shone brightly, and there were trees shading the cemented path. I walked along it until my cellphone started to ring.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Anna? Are you coming? You’re gonna miss it!” A voice that felt familiar, yet I couldn’t remember who it was.

“Yes, I’m coming!” I shouted. I broke into a run throughout the campus, but soon bumped into someone.

My eyes shot up, confused. It was Solas again. But he was dressed like how he did in the game. (Hobo garb.)

He gazed at me curiously. “Where is this?” he asked.

Everything suddenly didn’t feel right, didn’t feel real. I blinked at him. “I’m dreaming?” I asked.

“Yes,” Solas said, observing his surroundings. “Is this where you come from?”

I looked around, too, taking in the familiar campus that I had trekked a thousand times. “Yes,” I told him. “It is.”

“In all my travels in the Fade, I have never seen a place like this...” he wondered. He examined the students walking by, wearing backpacks and talking on phones.

“I’m not from your world,” I admitted.

He laughed, rubbing his head. He looked at me like I was the last puzzle piece finally falling into place. “And I thought I had secrets.”

I woke then, sitting straight up in my Skyhold bed. Hopping out of it, I ran to my door and down the hall, hammering my knuckles on Solas’s quarters. It took a few moments, but he soon opened the door.

“Can I come in?” I asked hastily.

He nodded, moving aside so I could step into the room.

“Were you just in my dream?” I asked once he had closed the door behind us.

Solas rubbed his eyes before focusing them on me. He seemed to have just woken up himself, and I noticed his shirt was on backward, obviously having gotten dressed rather quickly. Normally, I would have laughed, but all I could feel was the panic in my gut.

“Yes, I was there.” He eyed me with intrigue. He didn’t say anything for a while after that, just watched me curiously. I took a deep breath. What was this elf thinking?

“Okay...” I said, putting my hands on my head and pacing around the room. He saw where I came from. The real world. Now he actually knew I didn’t belong here. What would he do?

“I suppose I should not be too surprised,” Solas finally said. “You never acted like you were from Thedas, that much was certain.” He placed his hand on his chin, a small smile playing on his lips. “I never imagined it would be so... bizarre.” He laughed a little, looking at me. “Although, you are a very strange human.”

“So what are you gonna do?” I asked him, holding my breath.

His eyes were glinting with questions. Solas studied me, then asked with a smile, “What do you think I will do?”

I exhaled, exasperated. “Just answer, Fen’Harel!”

He was thrown off by the sudden use of his god name, but only for a second. Recollecting himself, he replied, “I admit, I feel relief. It explains why you have so little wariness about who I am. And now we both hold each other’s secrets.” He met my gaze. “Where is this place you come from? Somewhere across the ocean, outside of Thedas?”

“It is outside of Thedas...” I said slowly, “but not from this world at all. I’m from another realm—like the Fade, almost.”

“Another realm?” Solas approached me, his hands behind his back. “How extraordinary…” His expression was full of wonder when he looked at me and said, “But how do you know so much about our world, about me?”

“Like I’ve told you, the visions were just shown to me. I’m not sure why.” Because I bought the game, cough. “And now I’m here somehow.”

“Remarkable,” he murmured, eyes alight with amazement. “Other realms…”

“Well, don’t get too excited,” I said. “I don’t even know how to get back.”

Solas paused. “That is unfortunate.” He gave me a pitying smile. “I hope you discover how.”

“Yeah,” I said, glancing down. “Me too.” I walked over to a small wardrobe in his room. A wolf pelt was spread over the top of it, his jawbone pendant lying in the middle.

“I wish you had told me sooner,” Solas said behind me.

I felt the fur in my fingers. It was soft and pleasant to the touch. “I was afraid of what you’d think.”

“Why?” Solas said, coming up beside me. “You think I would not understand?”

I shrugged. “Have you ever heard of something like this before? Falling from one realm to another?”

“No, but… I do understand.” He hesitated a moment. “How you must feel.”

I smiled. “Well, it could be worse. I like it here, at least.” I touched his wolf jawbone necklace. The teeth pricked my finger, but not hard enough to bleed.

“Are you not afraid?” Solas asked. He glanced at my hand on the necklace. “Your home may be lost forever to you.”

“Of course,” I said. “But I don’t know that it truly is yet.”

“Yet you choose to help here—help me—before yourself?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s before myself,” I said, looking up at him, “but if I can, and I’m here anyway, why not?”

“That is commendable.” Solas smiled. “I underestimated you, Anna. You have… much more integrity than I assumed.”

I snorted. “Well, thanks I guess.”

He was still smiling. “I would like to see your world someday.”

I laughed a little at the thought. Solas in the real world? Yeah, right. I smiled, eyeing him. “By the way, your shirt’s on backward.”

Chapter Text

“Whatcha doin’, Blackwall?” I said, sneaking up on the fake Grey Warden. He was sitting at a table in the barn, working on something. My Inquisitor had decided in the end that his fate should be with the Wardens, but he’d remain with the Inquisition until then.

“Ah!” he said, jumping a little and trying (poorly) to hide something. “Nothing!”

I moved around the table to look at what he was doing. “Awww!” I said, seeing a little wooden figure. “So cute!”

Blackwall’s hands protectively covered a hand-carved figurine of a little bird, its wings spread out gracefully around it.

“It’s just a little something... I was bored...” he trailed off.

“It looks really good! You’re so talented at whittling, or whatever it's called.” I tried to encourage him with a smile.

He laughed nervously. “Thank you... It eases the mind.”

The giant painting on the wall of the barn caught my eye. It was the one with the wolfy thing and a halla. “Do you know who painted this?” I asked him.

“Ah,” he said, putting his hand on his head nervously. “That was... uh, done a long time ago.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Like, how long ago?”

“When we all arrived at Skyhold,” he hesitantly explained.

“Was it by Solas?!” I asked excitedly.

Blackwall raised both his bushy eyebrows at me. “Why do you ask that?”

I laughed. “Oh, you know... Solas is always painting… and the halla... the Dalish... the Inquisitor,” I said, having him connect the dots.

Blackwall studied the wall, examining the painting. “But why would Solas draw a bear?”

“That thing’s a bear?!” I exclaimed, squinting my eyes at it. I turned to Blackwall. “How do you know?”

He laughed nervously. “I painted it,” he said, finally giving up the ruse.

“WHAT?!” I turned back to the painting and then back to Blackwall, looking back and forth as if that would explain it.

He shrugged. “Well, back in Haven, I had—It was just an impulsive painting.”

“Are you the bear?” I asked excitedly.

“I should be going,” he said, backing out of the barn.

“What about the painting in the armory?!” I called after him. He practically ran, he was outta there so fast.

* * *

“Hey, Viv!” I greeted the First Enchanter, settling myself into her sofa. Oh, my gods. This had got to be the most comfortable couch in Skyhold. This lady had class.

“You will address me as Madame de Fer,” she returned coldly. The peacock.

“Okay, Madame Deffer,” I said, purposely mispronouncing her name. “I have a proposition for you.”

She rolled her eyes. “And why do I have the resounding feeling that it will be one I must decline, dear?”

I shook my head. “No, not this time.” I was already on thin ice with Vivienne since I had suggested she let me wear her Orlesian horned-mask-thing during our first introduction. Whoops.

She raised an eyebrow in anticipation.

“What if we...” I said slowly, “... dress Solas?”

Vivienne gave me a curt smile. “No, thank you.” She started shooing me out of her office(/lounge?) area.

“No, but listen!” I said, trying to convince her. “We could make him not look so hobo-ish! It would be good for the image of the Inquisition!”

She pushed me out the door, holding it open only a crack to say, “Darling, there is nothing you could say to convince me or the apostate of changing his attire.” She smiled and shut the door.

* * *

I walked along the battlements of Skyhold, trying to determine what to do. I kept strolling a bit until I realized that Cullen’s office was nearby. Five o’clock shadow, here I come!

I wasn’t sure if he was aware of my arrival at Skyhold, so I knocked on his wooden door to be courteous, something I had never done while playing the game. He opened it slowly, a puzzled look on his face when he saw me.

“Hello? How may I be of service?” Cullen asked. I really had come here without thinking. Staring at his face for the first time, I noticed something.

Wait a minute... there’s no stubble. It was morning-ish time. Was the constant stubble due to the game being perpetually stuck in the afternoon?

“Hi, I’m Anna. I’m new to the Inquisition.” Wow, I sounded dumb.

“Oh,” he said. “Well—I am Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition.”

I nodded with a polite smile. “Can I come in?” I asked suddenly (boldly?).

He stared at me in confusion, but ultimately stepped aside. I glanced around his office. It was an exact replica of the game version, except there was slightly more light streaming in from the morning sun.

When I finished turning my gaze around the room, I landed it on him. “So...” I started, trying not to be too awkward, “are we going to battle?”

He raised an eyebrow high, like, practically off his face high. “What do you mean?”

I gestured to his body. Specifically, the weird furry boa thing. “Why are you dressed in full armor?”

He chuckled a little, understanding dawning on him. But then he turned all serious-faced, saying, “I’ve been attacked far too many times in my life while unprepared. By wearing my armor, I can be ready at a moment’s notice.”

“Oh,” I said in intrigue. “How proactive.” I glanced around the room again until I came across his lion helmet. I snickered, picking it off a table. “Okay, Cullen… can you please put this on for me?”

He took a step back, extremely perplexed by my sudden question. He had Who is this person??? written all over his face.

“Please?” I begged, holding the helmet towards him.

“A-All right,” he hesitantly agreed. He put his helmet on, completing his lion-warrior getup.

I laughed, clapping my hands. “That’s amazing,” I told him. “It really shines.” He looked like a silver version of the Lion from the Wizard of Oz.

Cullen removed his helmet quickly, embarrassed. I felt bad for making him feel that way, so I pulled the helmet from his hands.

“Here,” I said, placing it on my own head. “Now you can see what it looks like.” It probably wasn’t as good without the boa, though.

Cullen smiled and then started laughing. “Is—is that what I normally look like?” he asked, amused.

I grinned underneath the lion’s teeth. “It’s better with the full suit,” I said, taking the helmet off my head. I handed it back to the Commander. “Well, I won’t keep you from your work!” Whatever that was.

“See you around,” Cullen said, bowing his head. “And—welcome to the Inquisition.”

Chapter Text

“Solas!” I said desperately, tugging his tunic. He shrugged out of my grasp, clearly annoyed. It had been two weeks since the Blackwall ordeal, and about a week since he had found out where I was really from.

“What is it?” he asked, exacerbated. We were in the corridor where both our bedrooms resided. I had caught him on the way to the bathroom.

I looked at his mouth briefly, squinting my eyes. “How do you clean your teeth?” I asked him, my gaze blazing with intensity.

“Guh” was the sound he made. The question had surprised him, but his annoyance was much more apparent.

“Please, Solas! I don’t know how to clean my teeth here!” I begged him. I felt horrid, as you could imagine.

He shook his head in disbelief and chuckled. “Have you ever considered asking politely, at a reasonable volume?” he murmured, his palm slowly approaching my face.

I backed away from the gesture, alarmed at the sudden change. “What are you—?” But his hand soon stopped, hovering above my mouth. A magic light poured out of it, and after a few seconds, it stopped. He pulled away.

I felt my teeth. Squeaky clean.

“Wow,” I said. “You just use magic for everything.”

Solas smiled. “The general population uses elfroot leaves to do a similar function. Though this method is obviously superior.” He looked positively smug.

I nodded. “Such a versatile plant,” I commented, then thought of something. “Don’t you think the name is kind of... racist?” Leaf-ears.

He gave me a small smile. “A common misconception. It was given that name since the elves first discovered its medicinal properties. It has nothing to do with the leaves slightly resembling elven ears.”

I nodded again. “Makes sense... I mean, it’s not really that ear-y a leaf anyway, right? Too many points.”

“Yes,” he said, smiling. He continued to the bathroom, a little faster this time than his previous gait.

At this point, I had pretty much given up the hope of returning home. I’d been at Skyhold for weeks now, with no sign of ever going back. I had even tried sleeping in all sorts of ways, including at the spot where I first landed. It was… concerning, to say the least. Was I really trapped in a video game? I didn’t know for sure, but I had no choice except to keep living in it. At least the Inquisition was a comfortable place to stay.

Solas had warmed considerably to me ever since discovering I wasn’t from Thedas. And since I hadn’t told anyone his secrets yet, he didn’t have a reason to distrust me.

I asked him tons of questions about the Fade, trying to gather clues on how to return home, and he was always happy to impart knowledge. My Solas Approval was growing, which was a plus.

Solas asked again about his orb breaking, as well. After considering it more, I ended up telling him it would break in the final fight against Corypheus. He wanted to know more details, hoping to prevent it. But I couldn’t give him anything else since the cutscenes only showed a bunch of rocks falling everywhere. “It just happens in the chaos, Solas,” I’d said to him. Sorry.

I didn’t mind Thedas that much. But it still wasn’t home. I kept wondering, was time passing while I stayed here? Had the new semester begun already? Were my friends and family worried about my disappearance?

Or was I still passed out on the couch? And this was some insane, never-ending lucid dream? I had no way to know.

But it was fun spending time with the Inner Circle. I had the advantage of knowing the right dialogue options for their approval, and most now liked me well enough. They were also under the impression that I had a second sight ability which gave me occasional glimpses into the future. The companions were dying to know any details, of course, but I always told them I couldn't see anything at the moment. I'd place my hands at my temples, pretending to access some arcane gift. “Sorry, not getting anything,” I'd say with a shrug. They eventually stopped asking. (And might have stopped believing me too, tbh.)

Almost nothing was going on at Skyhold, though. Plenty of War Table operations were carried out, but that didn’t really concern me. Time was far more realistic now that I was actually here, so everybody was often just waiting around. I ended up reading some of Varric’s series, Swords & Shields, to pass the time as the days crept by.

“Of all the stories I’ve written, that’s the one you’re asking to read?” Varric had said in disbelief when I requested a copy.

I shrugged. “Cassandra seems to be into it,” I defended.

Varric laughed, shaking his head. “Be my guest, Sleepy,” the rogue said, handing me the book. He had given me that nickname ever since the guards caught me trying to sleep at the Skyhold entrance gate. (“I was sleepy!” had been my excuse.)

And oh, that dwarf could write, even if it was the fluffy romance stuff.

A few times I went with Lavellan and Solas on herb collecting trips. They needed to restock supplies for potions and such, and the two almost made it like a little date. I was shocked the day Solas inquired if I would like to join them.

“Why are you asking me?” I said, immediately suspicious.

Solas laughed at me. “You are always the one following me around. I thought for once you would be happy at my invitation.”

So yeah, Solas was nicer to me now. I followed the two excitedly, grabbing a mount from the stables. Yes, I also started riding horses on my own. No harts like my Inquisitor would ride, though. And definitely no Dracolisks. Hell no.

We didn’t ride very far, just to the nearby forests where elfroot grew aplenty. (Like it did everywhere in Thedas.) The mounts were more for the convenience of carrying the load than anything else.

Solas and Lavellan were really sweet when they were on their own—which I guess they still considered themselves even though I was with them. They would hold hands and say loving little things to each other when they thought I wasn’t looking. Ar lath ma. I heard it many times.

It made me somewhat sad, and I hoped Solas wasn’t going to dump her this time. But something told me he still would.

Once, I was attempting to pull an elfroot out by the roots, trying not to get too much snow on me, and Solas came over, shaking his head. “No, Anna,” he scolded. “You have to cut them, like I showed you.”

He took out his knife and quickly sliced the stem. I sighed. “I know, I just thought this would be faster,” I replied.

Lavellan laughed at us then. “It’s like you’re her Keeper, Solas,” she said, smiling warmly.

I laughed too, knowing how Solas felt about the Dalish. Then an idea struck me. “Can you call me ‘da’len’?!” I pleaded. “I’ll call you ‘hahren’!” I was a little too excited at the thought.

Solas was taken aback by my question, but Lavellan encouraged him. “I don’t see the harm, Solas.” The Inquisitor smiled. “She’s so strange, for a human,” she added thoughtfully.

Stranger still, Solas didn’t argue. “Then please heed my advice, da’len.”

Chapter Text

I spent more time with Solas than anyone else. It was just simpler hanging out with him. I didn’t have to dance around why I knew so much about the Inner Circle or where I was from. Plus, ya know, it was Solas.

He was still like he was in the game, but a little friendlier, a little more conversational. I wasn’t sure if it was because I knew his secret, or maybe he was just so dang happy from being with Lavellan, but I was glad regardless. The elf had layers, and I was getting to see more than I ever could from the game.

There was a time when the Inquisitor was too swamped to do something as mundane as elfroot collecting, so Solas decided to go herb-picking without her. Whispers of Corypheus’s next move were spreading, and the Inquisition needed to be as prepped as possible for a fight.

“Can I come?” I asked Solas as I watched him ready his pack for the excursion.

He narrowed his eyes. “Will you cut the roots properly this time?”

“It wasn’t improper, it was just different from the way you do it.”

Solas didn’t respond, and only adjusted the straps on his rucksack. After a moment, he said, “You may come along.”

I let out a woot and ran to grab my own pack, which the Inquisition had generously provided for me. I'd specifically requested one that looked like his. (I loved matching with Solas when I could.)

Solas decided we didn’t need to take horses this time, so we headed off on foot, ready for our short hike. It only took about a half hour or so to trek down the mountain to the nearest gathering of trees.

“Do your feet ever get cold in the snow, hahren?” I asked, watching his bare toes.

He glanced away from me. I think he was still disconcerted when I called him hahren. But it wasn’t my fault he was an old man.

“Yes,” he answered. “If it is ice, and if I stand too long on it… but at that point, I would cast a spell to warm me.”

“Have you ever worn shoes before?”

The elf raised a brow. “I have tried it, on occasion.”

“Did you hate it? Did your feet get sweaty?”

He sighed, stopping briefly. “Why must you ask these pointless questions?”

“Always so evasive, Solas.” I tsked at him. “What do you think I’m gonna do, huh? Tell the whole Inquisition that you hate shoes? Try to blackmail you with it?”

Solas continued to walk. “Nothing so conniving. I simply have no interest in this conversation.”

“So change the subject,” I said, giving the hobo a little shove. “Like a normal person.”

“You would probably find a way back to it.”

“A way back to what? To feet?”

“I have no idea what your fixations are, but you certainly have several,” Solas said. “Doubly so when they pertain to me.” We’d reached a point where the path curved, giving way to a stunning view of the Frostbacks. He paused a moment to take in the sight.

“You’re so mean to me,” I said, kicking some snow. It tumbled down the side of the mountain. “You’re meaner to me than you are to Sera.”

Solas turned his gaze to me. “Sera has helped build an impressive organization, and she has bravely volunteered her services to the Inquisition. What have you done?”

“I’m... way nicer.”

“If that is your only argument,” Solas said with a smirk, “then perhaps some reflection is in order.”

I rolled my eyes. “But would you let Sera pick elfroot with you?” I asked, raising my brows.

“She would never ask.”

“But if she did—”

“Then I would decline.” He continued walking down the path.

I smiled, following after him. “Just admit it. You don’t hate me.”

“I never said I hated you, da’len.”

I blushed at the Elvish word, looking down at the snow with a goofy grin. It was then we arrived at the area that grew the most elfroot, about a mile down the mountain. Solas squatted at the first plant to collect it, and I did the same to another.

“I… do feel it is easier to be around you than most,” he admitted quietly as he worked. “As you know my identity.”

I smiled. “Yeah, and you know I’m not from Thedas,” I said. “You know my secret, and I know yours. We’re like partners in crime, united in our deception.”

“I believe there is a little more weight to my secret, Anna,” he said, glancing up at me.

“Okay, true,” I said, smiling. “But people would still freak out if they knew about me. Don’t you think?”

A laugh escaped him. It made a tiny cloud in the chilled air. “I’m sure I am not the only one who has had their suspicions,” he said. “Besides, you originating from another world is the only logical thing about you.”

I crossed my arms. “And what’s so illogical about me, Solas, hm?”

“Your endless optimism,” Solas replied as he placed some herbs in his pack. “And your cheerful disposition.”

“So you think I’m too happy?”

“In these circumstances, yes. With the threat of Corypheus and the Breach.” He stopped, turning to look at me. “No Thedosian could be so cavalier.”

“Oh, you think I’m cavalier, do you?” I asked, wriggling my eyebrows.

“You have just illustrated my point,” he said dryly.

“I was joking,” I said with a huff. “A lot of people make jokes, Solas. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

“Was that a joke? It was lost on me.” Solas smiled.

“Look at you, making jokes!” I pointed some elfroot at him. “Just admit that you like hanging out with me.”

“I would hate to mislead you. You might threaten me with even more pestering.” The elf stood to walk to another part of the forest, having finished with the elfroot in the area. I followed him.

“Okay, well, if I make you feel so comfortable because I know your true identity,” I said, squatting to cut another root. “Then you should consider telling someone else—like the Inquisitor—because you’d probably feel a lot more comfortable around her, too.” I waved the root in the air. “I mean, look at us! You’d never hang out with me if I didn’t know. That’s probably the most unbelievable thing of all.”

“I cannot simply tell the Inquisitor, Anna. You have no qualms about my identity because you are not even from this realm. She, however…” He sighed. “I rather not discuss it.”

“Sorry,” I said. I stuffed some herbs into my rucksack.

“It is fine,” he said, eyeing me for a second before he bent to gather another one. “Why do you think it is so unbelievable that I would spend time with you, regardless of what you know of me?”

I laughed, sitting back on my heels. “Okay, now you’re joking, right?”

He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

“Because we’re nothing alike,” I said, shrugging. I got up to find another plant. “I just annoy you.”

Solas arched a brow as he watched me. “A friend need not share all my same qualities.”

“So you think we’re friends?” I said, looking back at him with a grin.

“Would you like to be my friend?” His expression was genuinely curious.

“Are you kidding? That’s like my goal in life.”

He laughed in disbelief. “Why?”

“Because I’d be friends with Fen’Harel!” I exclaimed, smiling. “Nothing cooler than that.”

He frowned. “I see.” Solas continued to another elfroot.

“And I like talking to you. You’re always so…” I tilted my head, trying to think of the right word. “... philosophical. It makes me think, you know?”

“How rare for you,” he smirked.

“See? You’re mean.” I jabbed an accusatory finger at him. “You’re just as bad as the legends, Fen’Harel.”

Solas sighed.

“I’m just kidding, Solas,” I said.

“Are you?”

“Yeah. You’re actually way worse.”

He snorted at that.

“Who knew the great Fen’Harel could be so cruel?” I said in a breathy, mysterious voice. “That he would treat his poor, innocent, gracious friend so terribly?”

He rolled his eyes. “Gracious?”

“Just admit that we’re friends,” I said, voice normal again.

“When did I say we are not?”

I gasped, holding my pack to my chest. “So you do think we’re friends?”

He sighed. “Yes, Anna. We are friends. Are you content?”

“Yes,” I said, grinning from ear to ear and spreading my arms wide. “My life is complete. I can finally die happy.”

Solas shook his head, laughing a little. “We have come here to work,” he chided. “I have collected twice as many herbs as you have.”

“Well, you have magic.”

“I am not using magic!” the elf said, indignant.

“Yeah, right,” I said, laughing at him. “I’m sure you cast some ancient root-cutting spell that hasn’t been used in a thousand years. And it's probably undetectable by my inferior shemlen eyes.” I wiggled my fingers near my eyes, as if tendrils of magic had obscured the truth from them.

He smirked at me. “What spell would even be used for this?”

“That’s a good question.” I hummed, thinking. “Maybe one that slices all the elfroot simultaneously? That would be useful.”

Solas considered it for a moment. “There may actually be such a spell.”

I raised my brows. “Oh? Has your old brain finally remembered it after all this time?”

Solas threw a plant at me, and I laughed. It was fun being friends.

Chapter Text

I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I’d been awake for an hour at least, but wasn’t in the mood to get up yet. Two months had passed since I arrived at Skyhold, and the Dragon Age life was starting to take its toll. I wanted to live like a normal person again. See my friends, go to class, take a shower, not a bath...

Living here was a breath of fresh air, but I knew I didn’t belong. Everyone was so driven with their little character goals, and here I was, just as listless as I was back home. But at least the real world had proper plumbing and zippers and, like, electricity. Sigh. I missed actually playing video games.

As I pondered this, he burst through my door, not even bothering to knock. Why does everyone in Skyhold do that?? My head lifted to see Solas, his expression a mixture of concern and excitement. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“They have discovered that Corypheus plans to find an eluvian in the Arbor Wilds,” he said breathlessly.

I got up from my bed immediately. “Finally,” I said. The main quest was continuing.

Solas began to pace throughout my room. “I am concerned, as I am sure you understand. It is very near the Temple of Mythal.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s where we end up going.”

He shot me a worried look. “This temple is long forgotten amongst the elves. A forbidden place, in a way.”

I hummed knowingly.

Solas halted and turned toward me. He placed his hands on my arms. “Please, Anna, tell me! What happens at the Temple? Is this where you have foreseen my broken orb?”

I considered the situation for a moment before answering. How much should I let Solas know? How much would change?

I shook my head. “Your orb isn’t broken there. We don’t even fight Corypheus.”

Solas released my arms, but continued to stare at me with confused eyes. “Then why bring the Inquisition forces?”

“Well,” I explained, “he and his forces are there, and we still have a lot of fighting to do... but it’s not the final fight.”

Solas sighed and sat on the bed next to me. “The Temple of Mythal...” He swallowed. “It has been a long time.”

He was right to be worried. The Temple of Mythal changed everything. It revealed the ancient elves, truths about Fen’Harel and the pantheon... and it even contained the will of Mythal. A lot for my poor Inquisitor to digest.

This was the level I had replayed the most. What else should I tell him? I could tell Solas everything about the sentinels and the Well… but what if he went and did something stupid because of it, and Corypheus actually succeeded at getting the knowledge in the Well?

I looked at the old bald god next to me, watching the worry crease his brow. “It'll be okay,” I said instead.

“Will it?” he asked. “What have you seen?”

I bit my lip. “If I tell you, the future could change and end up… bad. And we’ll never defeat Corypheus.”

He took a breath. “Anna, please. You must tell me something.”

“Maybe I can when it gets closer,” I reasoned. “So it doesn’t affect the future as much.”

He rubbed his eye. “How much closer?”

I thought for a moment. “Maybe just before it happens? If I go on the mission, I can tell you along the way so it’s not too far in advance.”

He exhaled noisily. “Fine. I will ask the Inquisitor if you can join us.”

* * *

The Arbor Wilds. I was stoked for my first journey outside the castle, but it was hot here. And humid, too. Sera’s old hunter coat I wore also was not helping. I pulled at the leather to let my skin breathe a little. Ugh. I felt sweaty and gross.

We were at the camp the Inquisition had set up in the jungle, awaiting orders to head out in search of Corypheus. I looked at Solas, who was standing very close to Lavellan. All up in her personal space. They were both wearing Dalish Keeper robes, much to my able-to-make-fun-of-him delight.

He had convinced the Inquisitor to bring me along on the mission. Solas told her my “insight” could be useful in the Wilds. She believed him without question. That girl was in way too deep.

Morrigan waved the Inquisitor over, telling her that she believed Corypheus was looking for the Temple of Mythal, blah blah blah. I took the opportunity to pull Solas aside. He already knew about the Temple, anyway.

“Solas, aren’t you hot out here?” I asked him, examining the detail in his high collar.

The elf glanced down at me. “I am fine,” he said, his voice casual.

I narrowed my eyes, searching his face. Suddenly, I understood. “You’re using a spell, aren’t you?”

Solas looked away from me, keeping a cool expression. “Spell…?” he said, aloof.

“What is it? A frost rune?” I continued. “You’re holding out on me!”

“I am not responsible for your temperature, da’len,” Solas reprimanded, but his mouth twitched as if he were trying not to smile.

“Come on, please?” I clasped my hands together in a pleading gesture.

He held out his palm. “Give me your arm,” he finally said.

The cooling relief of the frost rune was instant and wonderful, chilling all along my skin. Perfectly refreshing. Solas knew just the right amount. “Thank you,” I said, smiling at him gratefully.

He nodded. “Is there anything… of note I should be aware of?” Solas asked, his eyes scanning the area. “From your visions?”

I could tell him about the Well, about how one of us would need to drink from it. But if it changed too much… Yet again, I felt paralyzed by the what-ifs of telling Solas the future. “Not yet,” I replied, “but soon.”

He sighed. ”Very well.” He walked back to Lavellan’s side, who had now begun talking to Josephine. I glanced around the camp and noticed Cole, looking spaced out as usual.

“Whaddup, Cole?” I said, giving him a friendly clap on the shoulder.

He continued to stare off into the distance. “He wants to believe, but the blame, the battle, the blood...” he trailed off vaguely.

My eyes widened. “Are you talking about Solas??” I asked excitedly. Did Solas want to believe in Lavellan, was he trying to believe in modern elves?

Cole finally turned to me. “No,” he said, tilting his head. “I was hearing him.” He pointed to a soldier praying to the Andraste shrine in the corner of the camp. Oh. Just some random guy.

“Hey Cole, does the Inquisitor ever have, like, burning questions about Solas? Ones she’s too afraid to ask?” I said, bouncing a little. “Or! Does she ever wonder why he’s so secretive? Why all his answers are so cryptic?”

Cole tilted his head. “She does wonder why he dresses as he does…”

I sighed. “That’s what everybody wonders, Cole.”

“I don’t.”

“Well… you could use some sprucing up too, bud.” I patted his back in sympathy.

The Inquisitor then ordered us to roll out, and I found myself in the middle of all the companions: Morrigan, Cole, Cassandra, Solas, and, of course, Lavellan.

I felt awkward marching in my ill-fitted armor, but grateful to have some protection at least. My stomach was twisting with nerves. This would be my first time in battle, and I had no fighting skills whatsoever. The most I had to my name was an old rogue dagger Cole had given me, and a palm-thrust move a self-defense instructor had taught me long ago in real life. Oh, and one healing potion. I was screwed.

My only consolation was the fact—or rather hope—that if I did indeed die in DA: Inquisition, then I would at least wake up in my normal life. But other darker what-ifs clouded that belief… What if I just died?

We pressed on until I finally heard the clash of weapons. A Templar was fighting an Inquisition soldier.

Cole and Cassandra went running towards the Templars in a ruthless attack. Morrigan, Solas, and Lavellan remained beside me, wielding their staffs beautifully.

I crouched down and waited for it to be over. I admit, not the best position in a battle, but I was also trying not to piss my breeches.

The battle was not too long, however, and soon Solas was grabbing me to get up. “Come, Anna! We must hurry!” he shouted.

On we trudged, fighting Templars and Corypheus-controlled Wardens. As we fought more, I got a little braver and began to watch my companions. I tried to see the perfect form in Solas’s magic that Iron Bull had once commented on in the game.

I wasn’t quite sure what to look for, but he definitely had a grace about the way he swung his staff around his body. It danced as if to a rhythm, and the way he pulled at rifts was equally as mesmerizing.

My Lavellan was not quite as elegant. She was far more rigid. Every attack was like a harsh staccato, her staff jerking around her small frame. But soon after a few spells, she went running into battle, her Knight-Enchanter blade in hand.

Morrigan was... well. I didn’t really look at her. It was hard for me to take her sincerely when she was dressed so… scantily? Dangerously? How could you seriously wear a bikini to battle??

We eventually encountered several Red Templars, and the group ran to engage them. Suddenly, elvhen sentinels appeared, joining the fight. I stole a glance at Solas. Did he recognize his kin? But he seemed only focused on the battle.

I fell back, letting the others do their thing. The elvhen were terrifying, disappearing and reappearing in their cute little gold outfits to stab someone in the back. I found a nice leafy bush to hide myself in.

I watched as my Lavellan, absolutely covered in blood now, repeated the same strategy tactics she had in the previous battle. She sliced away at a Red Templar, cutting him to death. She began to trek towards another one, failing to notice the elvhen assassin at her back...

Oh, no. She was about to get shanked.

I shot up from my position. What can I do? I thought.

A wall of fire blazed up behind her, burning the elf in its wake. I looked over to see that Solas had cast the protection. He was always guarding her.

But then another warrior came out of nowhere, stabbing Solas in the side. He fell.

Chapter Text

“I must retreat!” Solas shouted, staggering to the ground. That’s a really lame way to go.

Without thinking, I ran towards him. Luckily, after he fell to the ground, all the enemies pretty much ignored him, storming off to the other NPCs.

Once I was there, I knelt beside him, staring at his bloody wound. It looked terrifyingly deep. “Solas, are you actually dying right now??” I asked desperately.

Solas coughed and put his hand on the wound. It looked like he was trying to heal it, but he had no more mana to expel. “Anna...” he said, looking at me sadly. My heart just about broke.

But then I remembered my healing potion. I gently moved his bald head onto my lap to better angle him. Parting his lips, I slowly poured the potion into his mouth, just like how I had seen the surgeon do on my first day at Skyhold.

I thought back to the healing potions in my real-life gameplay. Would he simply spring up and get back to attacking?

I examined his wound again. It seemed to have healed itself slightly, but wasn’t all the way fixed. Solas must have had too much HP to regain. Stupid potion! I silently cursed.

He seemed revived enough though and soon sat up, grabbing a lyrium potion from his belt. He downed it quickly, and using his hand, Solas healed the wound completely as he’d meant to before.

Relief washed over me. “You know, for a god, you sure go down easy.”

Solas just smiled and gave me a wink, jumping back into the soon-to-be-over battle. No angry or nervous look over me mentioning his godhood whatsoever. Just a wink. A wink-wink. I tried not to smile too broadly, what with the combat still going and all.

Despite Solas almost bleeding out, no one seemed to notice our little exchange, and when the assault ended, the only thing the group mentioned was the supply cache Cole pointed out. Okay...

I made sure to grab some potions from the cache, taking two healing and lyrium ones each this time. I slipped the small vials into my hunter coat.

We continued our trek through the jungle, picking up Leliana and Cullen along the way. “Why is she here?” Cullen asked, looking at me in disbelief.

I shrugged, offended. “I’m here to help. I have insight.” I nudged Solas. Tell him, wolf!

Cullen looked at me anxiously. “Inquisitor, she can’t even defend herself...” he said, highly concerned. “Perhaps she should be sent back to camp,” he suggested.

Lavellan considered his proposition for a moment. I worried she would actually agree, so I cut in. “Cullen, I’m perfectly safe! Plenty of protection around me.” I patted Solas, and he nodded in confirmation. “I usually just duck out and am fine, anyway.”

Cullen still wasn’t convinced. “We should send a few more soldiers with you, as a precaution...” he recommended.

I looked at the Inquisitor, smiling at her to show how confident I was. “No, the forces need to remain here,” I countered. “We’ll be fine.”

It seemed to work. Lavellan told Cullen to continue holding the ground, and the companions kept pushing forward. I looked back at Cullen, mouthing It’s okay! but it did little to ease his apprehension. Oh well. Why was he so worried anyway? Leliana was standing there the whole time, and she didn’t give a fuck.

We finally made it to the tunnel that led to the Temple of Mythal. Huge wolf statues howled on either side. I looked at the giant monuments of Fen’Harel, nudging Solas in the arm with my elbow. “Nice, huh?” I whispered.

He didn’t answer, but he did give me a small smile.

The Inquisitor led the way through the tunnel, with the five of us in tow. “There. That must be the Temple of Mythal,” she said.

It opened to a huge tropical-y area and a whole lotta dead Templars. We peered over the ledge, and I saw Corypheus for the first time. Ew.

God, he was gross-looking, and my stomach queased as I recalled the forthcoming scene we were about to witness.

Corypheus went on a spiel about the Well of Sorrows and then exploded, smashing the barrier of the temple, much to the shock of my party. Without wasting a second, I broke into a run towards the temple while my companions investigated the explosion, probably wondering if Cory had destroyed himself for them. But I remembered what would happen next, and there was no way I was going to watch him respawn through a Warden. Hell no.

Only Solas noticed my escape, and he Fade-Stepped towards me, confused. “Where are you going?!” he shouted after me.

I turned back as I was running. “Solas, don’t look at the Warden! It’s super nasty!”

He didn’t listen though. Instead, he took another Fade Step and arrested me by the arm. Solas looked back at the rest of the group, who were now seeing the Grey Warden get all Coryphi-ed up as the magister regenerated. I held my gaze at the temple. I didn’t need a real version of that scarred in my brain.

“Across the bridge. Now!” I heard the Inquisitor sing behind me. And the archdemon suddenly flew in squawking.

Solas let me go, and we began running side-by-side towards the temple. “You were right,” he breathed. “That was repulsive.” Damn straight.

The gang headed through the doors, and we shortly had them closed, just in time for the archdemon to spray a little fire-spit through the crack. We were safe.

Chapter Text

We’d arrived at Mythal’s sanctum. It was gorgeous, in a decaying ruin kind of way. The companions glanced around at their surroundings.

“The Temple of Mythal...” Lavellan breathed. Unlike my stiff video game version, she was in awe. Her vallaslin actually matched her beliefs, gasp. She bowed her head and whispered a short prayer in Elvish. I noticed Solas looked away from her then, casting his gaze on the ground.

“You said this Mythal was worshipped as a goddess?” Cassandra asked Morrigan out of curiosity, completely oblivious to Lavellan worshipping right there.

“So it would appear,” Morrigan explained, glancing at the Inquisitor. “What is a god but a being of immense power? Perhaps Mythal was a powerful elf, a ruler among her kind. History often plays storyteller with facts.”

I looked at Solas. Immense power, huh?

Solas didn’t see my stare, and instead only sneered at Morrigan, “You admit lack of knowledge, and yet dismiss her so readily?!” He was taking this a little too close to heart.

Solas and Morrigan ended up arguing about Mythal until the witch finally snapped, “Whatever the truth, all accounts of Mythal end the same: exiled to the Beyond with her brethren.”

Solas looked away then, turning his body away from the group. I inched over to him, raising my eyebrows to ask if he was okay. He gave me the slightest of nods, eyes dark and sad.

Nobody asked, but Morrigan continued her monologue anyway. “Tricked by the Dread Wolf, as all the elven gods were said to be, trapped in a land beyond the Fade. Many Dalish believe this is why the elves fell from grace, and their gods did not save them. Or perhaps they were simply rulers slain by Tevinter. Who can say?”

“Certainly not you,” I blurted out. Morrigan raised an eyebrow at me. “... Because you weren’t there, of course. None of us were. Heh,” I stammered. Solas gave me a weak smile.

“Why would you speak that name in such a sacred place?” Lavellan spat at Morrigan.

The witch shrugged. “It is only legend.”

Lavellan just scowled in response.

I glanced at Solas again. He looked dismal. If Lavellan acted this way from just hearing about the Dread Wolf, maybe it would be impossible to tell her the truth. I shook my head. Gods, these two.

We continued through the temple. It was overgrown and full of insects flying everywhere. I had to swat at my face constantly to feel safe. Guh, I thought. Can’t those elvhen clean up a bit?? They literally live forever!

We soon arrived at the first ritual platform of the temple. Lavellan stepped on one of the tiles, which emitted a blue glow.

“It appears the temple’s magics are still strong,” Morrigan duly noted.

Some large stones sitting in the middle of the platform caught the group's attention. “Ancient elven,” I said, staring at the symbols etched into them. The glyphs were just like the ones in all of Solas’s musty books.

Solas glanced at me briefly before reading aloud, “Atish’all Vir Abelasan. It means, ‘Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows.’” I watched his face as his eyes darted around the statue, obviously reading the rest to himself. Sneaky bastard.

“There is something about knowledge,” Morrigan interjected, trying to outshine the elven god, “Respectful or pure... Shiven, shivennen...” Solas rolled his eyes. He looked at me knowingly. Can you believe this shit from her? his eyes said. I shook my head incredulously in response.

Morrigan shrugged, looking at the Inquisitor. “‘Tis all I can translate. That it mentions the Well is a good omen.”

Lavellan blinked at her for a moment before saying, “I know, I read it all myself.” Boom. Finally, a Lavellan to be proud of.

Morrigan laughed nervously. Solas looked towards the Inquisitor and smiled. Aw.

Remembering the line that she was supposed to say next, I put on my best Morrigan voice and said, “Supplicants to Mythal would have first paid obeisance here. Following their paaawth may aid entry.” I emphasized the vowel in “path” for extra measure.

Morrigan looked over at me, confused that I would have such knowledge (and maybe that my impression of her was that good??). I smiled, but before I could explain, Cassandra chimed in, saying, “Perform a ritual to appease elven gods? Long dead or no, I don’t like it...”

Lavellan hesitated a moment, worried about upsetting the Seeker. Such a caring elf I had created!

“No, you should definitely do the ritual. Trust me,” I told her. Solas looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

Cassandra scoffed at the remark, but Lavellan seemed convinced. She nodded and the rest of us backed away from the platform. Lavellan began walking the tiles. But she kept doing it wrong…

“Inquisitor, you can’t step on the same tile twice,” I explained, pointing out the area she had just placed her foot on.

“Oh,” she said, trying the ritual again. She walked on the wrong one, and all the tiles flashed gold before darkening again.

Morrigan and Cassandra moaned in impatience. Climbing up on one of the surrounding stones, I helped direct Lavellan onto the correct tiles. Boy, didn’t this feel familiar.

Lavellan completed the first ritual, and the click of something unlocking snapped somewhere. We looked around for what caused the sound, and saw a door above us light up.

“Thank you for the help, Anna,” Lavellan said to me.

I smiled. “My pleasure, Inquisitor.”

“Did your foresight tell you how to do the ritual?” she asked.

I nodded. “It did.”

“Well,” Lavellan said, “I am glad it can finally be of use to us.”

Heh. Sorry.

The Inquisitor led our group up the steps to the newly unlocked door.

Chapter Text

We wove our way through the temple until we eventually entered a chamber that contained the next ritual platform. This one, however, was surrounded by Dread Wolf statues and a giant Fen’Harel mosaic. Lavellan, who had been rushing towards the tiles, stopped at the realization of what was around her.

“I don’t know about this one...” she said cautiously, backing away. The alarm in her voice was clear.

Solas kept his expression neutral, collected. I leaned towards him, inclining my head to ask, “Can someone else besides the Inquisitor walk the path?” I wasn’t sure if this “real” version of the ritual would be more exclusive than the game one.

He looked at me, eyes sparked with interest. “Yes, I believe it would be acceptable, as we all travel together.”

I nodded and walked up the steps beside where Lavellan stood. “I could try, Inquisitor,” I suggested. It was worth a shot. (And I knew I could do it way faster than her anyway.)

Lavellan shook her head. “This feels wrong...”

“Inquisitor, we must complete every ritual if we are to finish the petitioner’s path,” Morrigan said, annoyed.

Lavellan looked anxious. I touched her lightly on the arm. “Don’t worry. If I do it, only I will suffer the effects, if there are any.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, still concerned. Um, yes.

I shrugged. “You’re the Inquisitor. You need to be protected.” I hopped up the last few steps to the platform without further discussion.

When I stepped on the first ritual plate, I took a moment to admire the elvhen magic that lit up below me. There was a pattern on the tile; intertwining lines that formed a flower-like shape. Examining it closer, I realized it didn’t just glow, but little enchanted blue flames emerged within its lines, although they were not harmful or burning in any way. I started the ritual.

I walked through the tiles deftly, remembering the correct path from my many gameplays. It was the one that had a lever in the middle, too, so it was definitely more complex than the previous ritual Lavellan had done. Since the tiles lit up just as they had for her, I figured it was working.

When I finished, and all the tiles flashed blue in confirmation, I turned to see the group looking back at me in astonishment. They all had this WTF? expression—except Solas. He glowed with admiration, smiling straight at me. Solas greatly approves?

“You seem well acquainted with ancient elven practices,” Morrigan observed, emphasizing every syllable of the last three words. The shock on her face was very apparent.

“No, I’m actually just a genius.” I grinned.

Morrigan glowered at me. “Time to proceed to the next ritual.”

We walked together to another platform. I had to carefully sidestep all the overgrown plants in the temple. There was some sort of fragrance in the air, a floral scent maybe? While I was sniffing the air like a wolf (ha), Solas whispered to me with a smile, “Perhaps you should be the one completing these rituals.”

I returned a smile, my face warming. “What was that, anyway?” I whispered back. “A Dread Wolf-specific ritual?”

He cautiously glanced at the others. “In the days of Elvhenan, you would have his blessing for completing it.”

“And what about in the now?” I asked, smiling and lifting my brows.

“You have it, da’len.” Solas smiled, touching my arm briefly.

Inquisitor Lavellan took on the next ritual and was able to do it on her own, although not nearly as quickly as I had. We all watched as she would take a step, then stop and carefully contemplate her next move. It was a slow process.

“Is there a Temple of Fen’Harel?” I whispered to Solas as we waited. I gestured around the room. “Did it look like this, too?”

Solas watched the others, and then said in a low voice, “It was more to my taste.”

I snorted. “What? You don’t like this design or something?

“This style is quite…” he said as his eyes wandered the walls, “traditional.”

Pfft. “What a snob you are,” I said. He only smiled.

The Inquisitor finished the rituals, and we continued through the temple (so many stairs), until Lavellan stopped in front of something. It was a mosaic of Falon’Din.

“My clan’s hunters asked for his blessing when we fought bandits. Our Keeper taught them the prayers,” she commented, looking over the fine tilework.

“Would they win against them?” I asked.

“Yes, Anna,” the Inquisitor said, smiling. “They did.”

“I do not believe they sing songs of Falon’Din’s vanity,” Solas said in a low, foreboding voice. I rolled my eyes. Here we go.

The Inquisitor turned to him, her teal eyes questioning the hobo. “Do you know any legends?”

“It is said Falon’Din’s appetite for adulation was so great, he began wars to amass more worshippers... The blood of those who wouldn’t bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans.” Solas glared at the mosaic with disdain, his mouth in a strong frown. “Mythal rallied the gods, once the shadow of Falon’Din’s hunger stretched across her own people... It was almost too late. Falon’Din only surrendered when his brethren bloodied him in his own temple.”

“I’m surprised they let such a monster live,” Lavellan said, somewhat sarcastically.

“One does not lightly kill a god, Inquisitor. Even in legend,” Solas said, his tone laced with malice.

Sure, I thought, says a god who was just nearly killed by total randos a few hours ago.

“My clan never told a story like that about Falon’Din,” Lavellan said quietly, obvious hurt in her voice by Solas’s comment.

Solas answered in the same sneering tone, unfazed by her distress. “The further the Dalish spread, the further their stories branch and grow. Never mistake them for arbiters of ‘true’ elvhen culture.”

Lavellan remained quiet.

I hit Solas hard on the arm. Doesn’t he lath this woman?? He didn’t flinch from my blow, but stared at me sharply, his eyes warning me. “Lay off the Dalish thing, okay?!” I hissed at him. Solas just looked away from me, avoiding my contempt.

We turned from the mosaic and headed towards a glowing blue door that had been unlocked from the ritual.

“If no one tells her the truth,” Solas said to me quietly, “then she will only continue living in ignorance.” He practically spat it at me.

“True,” I said, gritting my teeth. “But at least you could be nice about telling her. Everything she was ever taught has been ripped apart in this temple.”

“I had thought after all I have told her, she would be more critical of the legends, but… she is unchanged,” Solas said, watching Lavellan.

“Well, it's hard to change. It’s what she’s known her whole life.”

“Yes,” Solas agreed gloomily. “I don’t know why I would think otherwise.”

He headed into the next chamber, with me following behind.

Chapter Text

The next hall was beautiful, and in much better condition than the rest of the temple had been. All the tiles glistened in golds and greens, and there were tall marble statues of (bald) elves aiming bows. Our group entered the chamber slowly, taking in the surroundings. Cassandra looked extremely worried, probably because all the beacons were already mysteriously lit.

“‘Tis not what I expected. What was this chamber used for...?” Morrigan asked rhetorically, gaping at some of the wall mosaics for clues.

“Parties,” I answered. “Definitely huge parties.” Solas let out a scoffing sound. I grinned at him, but he only turned away, rolling his eyes.

“We’re being watched,” Inquisitor Lavellan warned. I shut my mouth.

Suddenly, Abelas came into view, standing high above us on a platform. “Venavis,” he said with cheeky attitude. His armor was quite form-fitting.

Abelas rambled on about the Well of Sorrows, his thighs sparkling in the light, just like the game cinematic. Solas and Lavellan were freaking out about speaking to an elvhen for the first time, but I was distracted by trying to determine if he actually had hair beneath his hood.

After some back and forth, the Inquisitor eventually agreed to ally with the ancient elves, her eyes shining brightly with reverence.

“As for the vir’abelasan,” Abelas said, “it shall not be despoiled, even if I must destroy it myself,” he departed dramatically in one emphatic turn.

“Noooo!” shouted Morrigan. She morphed into a bird in a puff of purple smoke to follow the elvhen.

“Morrigan!” Lavellan called.

Tsk tsk, that Morrigan. Solas and I looked at each other knowingly. We knew that witch was trouble.

“Well, no point in trying to follow her,” I said to the Inquisitor. “There’s our guide.” I gestured to the old elvhen lady that Abelas had alluded to during his speech.

The woman answered with, “Mythal’enaste.”

Lavellan sighed. “That’s helpful, since Morrigan chased off on her own,” she said irritably.

“She seeks to protect the Well of Sorrows,” Solas remarked.

“Yeah, I think we all got that, Solas,” I sneered. I took another step and tripped quite ungracefully. Somehow my leg had gotten caught on Solas’s staff...

I looked up from the ground, glaring at Solas’s back as he continued walking on without me. Stupid wolf.

It was Cole who helped me up. “He isn’t angry with you, he’s angry with himself...” the spirit told me quietly.

I stood, rubbing my legs from the fall. “Can you hear his hurt right now?” I asked.

Cole shifted his gaze towards the elf, who was following the guide into the next room. “He hurts, he always does… He regrets the ones we killed before, the ones who hid in shadows, they remind him of his own, the ones who can’t remember...”

I hummed, considering his words. “And does he hurt for the Inquisitor?”

The spirit nodded. “She’s bright, always shining, saving, soaring... but she doubts, despairs, disgusts... the dread. She doesn’t understand. She never will.”

I nodded, glancing at the elf-god. Solas was so sad...

“Thanks, Cole.” I examined his hair. His bangs sure are long.

He tilted his head. “I like my hair.”

I smiled. “But doesn’t it get in your eyes?” I asked. He shrugged. Ah, Cole.

Cole and I joined the others in following the hobbling elvhen mage(?). She banged her staff on the ground to open up the secret passage Abelas had vaguely pointed to earlier.

She led us inside, and the companions gasped at the state of the room. It was in perfect condition. Beautiful, glittery goldiness. A large statue of Mythal stood majestically near a wall, along with an intricate mosaic of the goddess. I traced my fingers along the wall, feeling the tiles. Did ancient elvhen use magic to glue them down?

The Inquisitor appeared beside me, also feeling the wall and gaping at the intricate tile work. “He said elves destroyed themselves. Could that be true?” Lavellan wondered, referring to what Abelas had mentioned in the previous chamber. She had always believed the Imperium destroyed them.

“If it is, then maybe Fen’Harel isn’t like the legends, either,” I said, and Solas gave me a warning look. “Maybe that’s why there are so many statues of him here.”

“Maybe this place was built before he betrayed the gods,” Lavellan suggested.

“Maybe, maybe not.” I shrugged. “Stories tend to change each time they’re told.”

“My people’s history is more than just stories, shemlen,” she snapped.

I raised my hands. “Sorry, I was just throwing out some theories,” I said.

“Well, throw them someplace else.” Lavellan stormed ahead in a huff.

Solas touched my shoulder. “I told you it is pointless,” he said quietly when she was out of earshot.

“It’s just because I said it. I know she’d believe you,” I said. “She’d believe anything you say if you said it nicer and maybe added a vhenan or two.”

He rolled his eyes and left without answering.

Chapter Text

Our hobbling guide led us through several secret passages, until we finally came to a large area that opened to the sky with the Well nestled in the far side of it. “The Well of Sorrows!” Lavellan exclaimed dramatically. Discovered: The Well of Sorrows.

How was this temple so huge? I gaped at all the trees and mountainy-rock within the new chamber. What was this place like in its prime? Was it always so integrated with the jungle around it?

I couldn’t contemplate long though, as we had finally caught up with Samson. His voice yelled in the distance, and the Inquisitor marched forward.

We went down some steps, and I spotted the red lyrium dickhead in the floor down below. I let the companions run ahead of me. Solas looked back at me, tilting his head to ask what I was doing.

I flapped my hand for him to move on without me. I didn’t need to get in the way of this boss fight. He seemed to understand and headed off with the others. The group rushed over to Samson, while I sat myself down on the steps. This could be a long battle.

“You tough bastards,” Samson said, looking at some Red Templars. “A day’s march, hours of fighting, and still fierce as dragons. The Chantry never knew what it was throwing away.” Psh, that’s nothing, Samson. You should see how long I went when I played.

“Samson! Ser, watch out!” a Templar said to him, pointing to the Inquisitor and her comrades. Samson turned his sickly gaze in their direction.

“Inquisitor,” Samson greeted. “You and those elf-things don’t know when to stop.”

They broke into battle.

This fight went on longer than any other had in the Arbor Wilds. Samson had a pretty strong boss status, and his Red Templar Horrors were also no joke. I watched as my team tirelessly fought, endlessly stabbing and blocking. There were clashes of weapons and magic with bright flashes and loud shouts. (“You die here, Lavellan!” “You’re nothing!”)

Cole kept disappearing for sneak attacks. He sliced their ligaments without pausing, always pleased with the kill. Cassandra would block and jab, swing and slash. Lavellan started using her Knight-Enchanter blade again, slashing at Templars and getting Horror blood on her pretty face and white hair. I shuddered, thinking of what it must feel like. Nasty.

Solas was maneuvering his staff beautifully. I started to see what Iron Bull meant about his perfect casting. He swung the staff around his body, different lights spouting out of the tip of it. I watched as he channeled energy through his whole form, not just his staff, with bursts of electricity exploding from his chest and honing in on a target. He was also covered in ice armor, but hardly needed it with all his evasive Fade Steps. Sometimes he took a vial from his belt. A lyrium potion. It must be exhausting to fight like this.

It was hard for me to keep my eyes off of him. I was worried he might fall again. I prepared myself to jump in at any time, in case he needed a healing potion. My fingers hovered over the ones in my jacket, ready to rush to the rescue.

I supposed it was due to this concentration that I didn’t notice a Red Templar approaching me. When I saw him, it was too late to run away or hide. He was coming straight for me and only me.

Shit. I tried to run anyway. I bounded up the stairs behind me, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I was pretty sure palm thrusts wouldn’t work on that thing.

I patted my jacket for the blade Cole had given me. Finding it, I grabbed it out of its sheath and readied it for the stab. It was the only defense I had.

I kept running, but the Templar soon caught up to me. He grabbed at me, slashing my back with his claws. I could feel the talons rip through my hunter coat like it was paper, cutting deep into my flesh. Fuuuuck! It hurt like hell. An intense pain I had never felt before in my life.

I crumpled forward from the blow, dropping my blade and falling face-first on the stone steps. The pain in my back was so severe, still burning throughout my body as if poisoned. (Was I poisoned??) I could barely move, but I tried crawling up the steps as much as I could. I had to get away.

The Templar wasn’t finished with me. His giant mutated hand grabbed me by the neck, choking and raising me up to his eye level. He brought me around so I could see the face of my killer.

If you would even call it a face. It was so disfigured with red lyrium, his eyes glowing with crimson fury, and his teeth like vicious, jagged fangs. He let out a ferocious, menacing snarl, and his mouth dripped with some sort of sickly goop. Yep, I was gonna die.

But something crashed into his body. A giant fist from the Fade. It punched him down, throwing me from his grasp. I tumbled down a few stairs, each hit bringing a new aching agony, before landing on my side, the wind now knocked out of me. I gasped and gasped and then looked up to see Solas, his face twisted with rage and pain.

He knelt down beside me, surveying my wounds, his eyes wide. “Can you move, Anna??” he asked hopelessly, tenderly touching my arm.

“No,” I coughed up. There was the taste of blood in my mouth. I stared up at his face, completely unmasked for once and filled with grief. His face had splatters of blood on it, and his eyes had tears.

The pain was so excruciating, it made the world feel hazy. Everything was slipping, starting to cloud. My vision turned black. I could feel myself falling away...

I was doing it. I was returning to my world.

“No, hold on!” a voice shouted in the distance. A cool liquid flowed down my throat. The taste of elfroot. (Not the greatest taste, mind you, almost like a bitter kale.)

The world came rushing back, and my eyes fluttered open. Solas was no longer kneeling beside me, but standing nearby. He was wielding his staff again, finishing the fight. I felt a little revived, but the pain still lingered. The potion hadn’t healed me completely.

Guess I had a lot of HP, too.

Chapter Text

“Not the Well, you wretch!” I heard Samson plead. “You can’t take it from Corypheus. You musn’t...”

Solas had kneeled beside me again, the battle now over. His hands fluttered around my back, mending the wounds as he had done to himself in the Arbor Wilds. “You must learn some defense, da’len,” he said worriedly. “I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

I could feel the pain subsiding, my head starting to clear. “The Well...” I mumbled. “Should the Inquisitor or Morrigan drink from it?”

“What did you say?” Solas asked, alarmed.

“Of the two... who do you think should drink from it?” I sat up slowly. Solas had finished mending me.

“It does not matter; Abelas will surely—” he evaded, shaking his head.

“No.” I shook my head, closing my eyes briefly before asking, “Who should drink?!”

He glanced back at the group. They were running up Abelas’s makeshift stairs to the vir’abelasan now, following the elf and Morrigan. He turned back to me, panicked. “No one should drink of it.”

“Please, hahren, tell me who,” I begged, shaking my head again.

Solas pulled me to my feet and exhaled sharply, studying my face. He closed his eyes for a moment before saying in resignation, “Then—Morrigan. If someone must drink, it should be her.”

I pulled on his Keeper robes with both hands, staring fiercely into his eyes. “Then you have to stop the Inquisitor. She will try to drink from it.” Regardless if I was playing her or not, this Lavellan—with her Mythal vallaslin and constant prayers to the god—would definitely want to drink.

Solas nodded and then Fade-Stepped the both of us to the others by the Well. (Such a useful ability, but oof was it dizzying.) Abelas, the Inquisitor, and Morrigan were at a standoff, eyeing each other heatedly over the vir’abelasan.

“The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!” Morrigan exclaimed. She kept shifting her eyes from Abelas to the Well.

An argument ensued between them—with Abelas rightfully protective of it, Lavellan becoming passionately teary wanting the lost knowledge of her people, and Morrigan getting more and more desperate to obtain the Well’s secrets.

But Abelas eventually relinquished. “... You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny.” He eyed Solas (because he’s a god) pointedly before turning towards the Inquisitor. “Is that your desire? To partake in the vir’abelasan as best you can to fight your enemy?”

“Not without your permission,” Lavellan said, her eyes vying for his approval. She wanted an ancient to recognize her. Little did she know of the one who already had (and was in her pants every night).

Abelas only turned away and said, “One does not obtain permission. One obtains the right.” He began to walk away. So cool.

The elf then stopped and abruptly said, “The vir’abelasan may be too much for a mortal to comprehend.” He turned back to us. “Brave it if you must, but know you this: you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

“Bound?” Morrigan scoffed. “To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?”

I was sick of her disregarding everything, especially with two ancient elvhen standing right fucking here, forced to listen to it.

“Look around you, Morrigan!” I shouted without thinking. Everyone turned their heads to me (even Cassandra and Cole, who had pretty much been zoning out). I cleared my throat, feeling awkward from the sudden attention. “Look at this place, this temple, these elvhen. Whether Mythal existed or not, it doesn’t matter.” I gestured to the Well. “The evidence is overwhelming; there’s ancient magic within those waters, and it is strong from millennia of gathered power. Mil-len-ni-a. And no power comes without a price. It will control you. Power always corrupts,” I told her heatedly. This witch needed to know what she was getting into.

The entire group was shocked by my monologue. Perhaps they’d never heard me sound so serious before. Morrigan and Lavellan were the most taken aback, utterly speechless. Solas touched me lightly on the arm. “Anna,” he whispered. His eyes had a proud glint.

Abelas tilted his head, his gaze shifting between Solas and me in intrigue. “This shemlen speaks the truth.” He turned back to Morrigan. “The vir’abelasan will bind you, as we are bound. The choice is yours.”

“Is it possible Mythal still exists?” the Inquisitor asked desperately. She had to know for her people: would the gods return and save them all?

Abelas looked curiously at her, his eyes glancing over her vallaslin. “Anything is possible.”

“Elven legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the Beyond,” Morrigan interjected. I sighed. Again with this? She was like a Wikipedia page with no verified sources.

“‘Elven’ legend is wrong,” Abelas sneered. “The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder.” I nudged Solas discreetly at the mention of this. Hey, hey! He remained perfectly still, not giving any sign of recognition. His gaze transfixed on Abelas.

“Murder? I-I said nothing of—” Morrigan stammered.

Abelas rolled his eyes. “She was slain, if a god truly can be. Betrayed by those who destroyed this temple.” He glanced at Solas again. “Yet the vir’abelasan remains. As do we. That is something.”

“Are you leaving the temple?” Lavellan asked. Did she want to go with him?

Abelas shrugged. “Our duty ends. Why remain?”

Solas spoke out suddenly but gently, “There is a place for you, lethallin... if you seek it.”

A silent communication seemed to pass between the two ancients. Abelas nodded ever slightly, saying, “Perhaps there are places the shemlen have not touched.” He looked back at Lavellan. “It may be that only uthenera awaits us. The blissful sleep of eternity, never to awaken... If fate is kind.”

“Then where are you gonna sleep?” I asked him. If he left the temple, where was he going for uthenera??

Abelas turned to me, annoyed. “That is not information I need to impart.”

I shrugged. “Whatever,” I said under my breath.

“Thank you for this gift, Abelas,” the Inquisitor said, pretending like I hadn’t said the rude comment.

“Do not thank me yet, shemlen,” he said to her. He turned to leave.

“Malas amelin ne halam, Abelas.” Solas said. The sentinel nodded solemnly before heading off. “His name. Abelas means sorrow,” Solas explained, then turned to the group. “I said—”

“I hope he finds a new name!” I interrupted, smiling that I had beat him to it. I practically had this whole scene memorized.

Solas rolled his eyes, annoyed at my disruption. He had wanted to look cool.

Chapter Text

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow at my outburst of Elvish translation, but soon turned her attention to the real prize: The Well of Sorrows. “You’ll note the intact eluvian,” she sighed. “I was correct on that count, at least.”

“Yeah, but nothing else,” I remarked. The corner of Solas’s mouth tugged up slightly in a smirk. Morrigan shot me a stern look.

The Inquisitor gazed into the pool. “Is it still a threat? Can Corypheus use it to travel the Fade?”

Morrigan reached out towards the vir’abelasan. “The Well is the key. Take its power, and Mythal’s last eluvian will be of no more use to Corypheus than glass.” She couldn’t take her eyes off its water. “I did not expect the Well to feel so… hungry,” she said softly.

I looked at the Well, trying to feel what she meant. Nope. Nothing.

“Don’t go any closer, Morrigan,” the Inquisitor warned.

“I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service,” she said desperately to Lavellan.

Solas rolled his eyes. “Or more likely, to your own ends.” He reallllly didn’t like Morrigan.

Morrigan’s gaze heatedly turned towards him. “What would you know of my ‘ends,’ elf?” she barked.

I shook my head at Solas, knowing his next response. Don’t do it, don’t you do it!!!

Solas fumed. “You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast!” He shook his bald head angrily. “You cannot be trusted.”

I grabbed Solas by the arm, and he looked down at me. I lifted my eyebrows in the air. You’re only confusing Lavellan, you wolf idiot!!

He seemed to understand my facial expression. A panic reached his features as he remembered my warning. Stupid egg.

Morrigan continued to plead. “Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink, Inquisitor.”

“You alone? This is my heritage!” Lavellan said hotly.

Morrigan opened her mouth to respond, but Solas cut her off, “We should take the power which lies in that well, vhenan. But you should not take the risk.”

The Inquisitor gazed at him, confused. Some tears had gathered in her eyes.

Morrigan was surprised at Solas’s remark, but recovered quickly and said, “I have the best chance of making use of the Well... for everyone. Let me drink.”

Lavellan looked at Solas. “If not me, then you should be the one, Solas. This Well is of our people,” she begged.

Solas shook his head. “No, vhenan. I cannot,” he said. “The Well will bind the drinker to the will of Mythal.” I sighed. He needed to do more.

Inquisitor Lavellan shook her head indignantly. “Have you not seen my vallaslin? I am already bound! Mythal is my god. Only I have the right to drink from the vir’abelasan.” She turned herself towards the water.

Fuck. This was going badly. I had to intervene. “Inquisitor, wait!” I shouted. She turned to look at me. “We need you,” I pleaded. “The world needs you to lead the Inquisition. It’s the only force that can stop Corypheus... and we can’t risk you being controlled by an elven god.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “You know nothing of Mythal.”

“Vhenan,” Solas cut in. “She is right. Mythal is a protector, but she is also... vengeful. We do not know what her will may entail.” He took her hand. “Please. Let Lady Morrigan drink.”

She shook her head again, tears in her eyes. “Solas, I...”

It was probably only Solas and I (well, Cole, too) who understood what it meant to her. This was her one chance to truly be connected to her goddess. To gain the knowledge so long lost by her people...

Solas nodded. “I know it is a great sacrifice. But it is what’s best.” He put his hand gently on her chin and said softly, “I know you can do this.” Ooohhh. He was playing the Solas Approval card. Nice one. Now if she drank, she would know his disappointment.

Lavellan took a deep breath. “Morrigan, it’s yours.”

Morrigan practically cannonballed in, that witch was so eager. She submerged herself completely in the Well. That ain’t no bathtub, honey.

I glanced at Inquisitor Lavellan. She looked so crumpled and distraught, her arms folded over herself, shaking as she watched Morrigan. I nudged Solas, who had been watching Morrigan intently.

It was obvious that Solas didn’t like PDAs, but he made an exception this time. He wrapped Lavellan in his arms and whispered something into her ear. A tear fell down her cheek as she buried her face into his robes.

But the tender moment was soon broken by the Well exploding its holy water all over the place. I made sure to open my mouth when it happened to lap up what I could. I could use some knowledge. (Didn’t get any though.)

The magic cleared, and we all stared into the Well. Morrigan was passed out flat on her back, just like the glutton Solas had pinned her for.

Lavellan straightened, putting her Inquisitor face back on. “Are you all right?” she asked Morrigan.

Morrigan started sputtering out some random Elvish and then claimed to be okay. Just had a lot to “sift” through. We all had a little chuckle. Silly, Morrigan! You had us worried sick!

Okay, maybe I was the only one who laughed.

We noticed a magic-y, poofy, electric-y dust coming off of her though, and our group took a few steps back. Strangely enough, the magic seemed to twist itself around Lavellan as well...

“Daaawww!!!” was the (kinda lame) sound from Corypheus behind us, who had finally shown up to the party. Guess you had trouble with those rituals, huh, Cory?

He started flying right at us, so we had little time to move. Right on cue, Lavellan’s entire body illuminated, becoming the key to the mirror. “The eluvian!” Morrigan shouted, and we all ran like hell.

Chapter Text

We entered the Crossroads, as Morrigan had deemed it to be called. I looked around, slowing my speed to a walk. It was really misty, but I could see the spherical branches of elven trees, and large buildings looming in the distance. There were eluvians everywhere, standing in every direction as far as I could see.

“Anna, we must hurry! It isn’t safe here!” Solas shouted back at me. They were all far ahead of me now, with Morrigan leading the way.

“It is safe, Solas,” I called back to him. “Corypheus can’t get in. The mirror cracked!” I pointed back to Mythal’s eluvian. Plus isn’t Lavellan the key anyway?

He stopped running and cursed quietly. Solas gestured to the others to go on without us. Fade-Stepping towards me, he said wistfully, “Another elvhen relic lost...”

The group was far out of earshot now. “What were those buildings for, hahren?” I asked him, pointing to the architecture in the distance. “Did people used to live here?”

He smiled bitterly at me. “Almost all elvhen traversed this place. It was once as bustling as a capital city. Naturally, shops and eateries opened here, warranting some to take up residence.”

I looked at one of the buildings. It had remnants of giant arches that had crumbled away over time. The architecture looked massive, towering in the distance. I imagined what it was like, brimming with life and magic thousands of years ago.

“I wish I could have seen it,” I said, my eyes wandering to a tree before returning to Solas. “I’m glad you were able to convince the Inquisitor not to drink.”

He sighed. “Yes, you were right. I… should not have been so harsh with her earlier.”

I patted his arm. “She loves you, Solas,” I said. “You can tell her things. She trusts you.”

A corner of his mouth lifted. “Let us go, da’len.” He Fade-Stepped us back towards the others, and we were the last to run into Morrigan’s eluvian.

Lavellan stormed off once we were through, not saying a word to anyone. I pushed Solas to go follow her. “Remember to say vhenan a lot, okay? It’ll make her feel better.”

He shot me an annoyed look, but went to pursue her. I looked around, noticing Cole had disappeared as well. Morrigan was still a little loopy from the Well, muttering things to herself.

The mission had exhausted me, and I was covered in blood and dirt. I needed a long soak in a tub.

* * *

One of the shittiest things about living in Skyhold was the baths. As I had learned on my second day here, there was only one on my floor, and bathing took ages.

Since I was no mage, I had to build a fire to heat up the water. A fucking fire. At least I could proudly say I was boy scout material now.

Soaking in the tub, I scrubbed away at the bloody residue of my former wounds. There wasn’t even a scar on me. Thank you, Fen’Harel!

Thinking of Solas made my stomach twinge. With the Temple of Mythal quest now complete, it meant that Solas was going to dump Lavellan soon. I have to stop that stupid hobo. I rested my head on the rim of the bath and premeditated my words.

“Stop being a scared-ass bitch, Solas, and tell her the truth!” I sighed. If only I could tell him that. But he might strike me with lightning or something.

Suddenly Cole appeared and I yelped in surprise. “Cole?!” I attempted to cover up my private parts. “What are you doing here??” He was squatting right on the rim of the bathtub.

Cole didn’t react to my confusion and simply asked, “Where is my knife?” He tilted his head, blinking at me.

“Huh?” I asked stupidly. And then I remembered the dagger Cole had given me. “Oh… I’m sorry, Cole. I dropped it during the fight with Samson.”

He looked off into the distance, staring into space. “It was the blade of the Velvet Dreamer, he liked to talk...” Cole said, voice all eerie.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. Velvet Dreamer? I thought back to the blade. It had looked a little funny... almost like two talons connected with a beautifully ornate hilt...

And then the realization dawned on me. I had dropped a purple-level unique dagger. It had definitely been rare. And I didn’t even have a chance to pawn it! Damn.

“The wolf is hurting,” Cole said suddenly, bringing my attention back to him. “He’s confused, conflicted, cold...”

“Solas is?” I straightened.

His glassy eyes were full of worry as he perched on the edge of the tub. “You have to help. You have to help his hurt before he hurts her.”

“Okay, well... I’m still taking a bath right now, so... maybe you should try to talk to him in the meantime?” I suggested, still trying to shield myself from his spirit eyes.

Cole shook his head, his big hat flopping from the movement. “He won’t listen to me, he thinks I say anything to help, even if it isn’t right... But he listens to you.”

He does? I was skeptical, to say the least, but I nodded. “Just let me get dressed, okay?”

Chapter Text

“Solas!” I burst into his study loudly, making the elf jump. He was standing near his desk, gathering random stuff together.

“Anna,” he said, smiling at me when he saw who it was. He was absolutely beaming.

“Um, hi.” I hesitated. He was a lot happier than Cole had suggested...

“I’m taking the Inquisitor on a short excursion. We shouldn’t be long, so you may speak to me after.” He continued packing up a couple of things, and I noticed he had already changed out of his Keeper robes.

I shook my head. “No,” I said. “After would be too late.”

Solas paused, tilting his head. “What is it?” he asked, an eyebrow perked up in intrigue.

I lowered my voice and edged closer to him, placing my hands on his table. “The Inquisitor really loves you, you know,” I told him, eyes narrowed.

Solas laughed. “Yes, I am aware.” He studied me curiously, a half-smile on his lips.

“Then you should know I meant what I said. That she’ll trust you with anything. You can tell her anything.” I raised my eyebrows in suggestion.

He smiled again, laughing a little. Placing his hands behind his back, he leaned toward me and whispered, “I know.” He had a strange, complacent look about him...

Oh, dear. He thought he was going to tell her the truth. His secret identity, finally revealed.

Solas continued to pack his bag, placing random items in it. Vials of things… lyrium potions? I wasn’t sure. He laughed a little to himself. “We had a long discussion about what occurred at the temple. She told me she would use the Well to restore what was.” Solas turned to me, smiling even brighter. “Can you believe such a woman like her exists?”

I had never seen Solas this happy. He was radiant. His face was even flushed, the tips of his ears pink.

“She is amazing,” I agreed. “And strong. I’m serious when I say you can tell her anything.” I grabbed Solas by the arm, making him look me in the eye. “She will accept you.”

Solas nodded, and I let him go. He was still smiling, although it was much smaller now. He tied his pack, fastening some buckle.

“You don’t have to be scared,” I told him, my voice as serious as death. “You can trust her... and yourself. You don’t have to be alone.”

His lips turned into a thin line. “I will see you when I return from Crestwood, da’len.” He practically ran out the door after that, taking his bag with him. I was then alone in the rotunda, unable to tell him anymore. Guess that will have to be enough.

I watched as he and Lavellan rode off through the gate, not even bothering to glance behind them. Yeah, bye to you, too.

Exhausted from all the business at the temple, I thought a good, hard a-drinkin’ was what I needed. I headed towards the Herald’s Rest.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Iron Bull and Dorian together in the tavern. Heh heh heh.

“Hello, boys!” I exclaimed behind them, wrapping my arms around both their backs as best I could. (Bull is huge.) “Buy me a drink?” I asked slyly, sticking my head between the two and wiggling my eyebrows.

“Ah, if it isn’t Anna the Beggar! I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you pay for a drink before,” Dorian remarked, giving me a smirk.

I smiled and sat down next to him, patting him on the back. “That’s because I don’t have any money!” I said cheerfully.

“Yes,” Dorian agreed, taking a sip of his drink. “Hence the name beggar.”

I ordered an ale (I was strangely getting used to them...) from Cabot and asked him to put it on Iron Bull’s tab. The dwarf looked to the Qunari for assurance.

Iron Bull only laughed, saying, “Yeah, yeah, give her what she wants.”

I giggled with delight. “You’re the best, Bull!” I sang in a cutesy voice.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Where’s Solas?” Bull asked.

I shrugged. “Off with the Inquisitor. I’m not always with him.”

Iron Bull and Dorian looked at each other knowingly. They both burst out laughing at the same time.

“That has got to be the greatest deception anyone has ever told themself,” Dorian said into his glass, taking a drink.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” Cabot handed me my drink. I took a sip. Bleh. The first taste was always the most shocking.

“Why do you spend so much time with him, anyway?” Dorian asked me. Clearly, he had been wondering about this for a while.

I shrugged again. “He’s fun.” And an elven god.

Dorian and Bull laughed again in unison. “You’re a riot, kid!” Iron Bull exclaimed, taking a big swig.

“Fun?” Dorian asked, one eyebrow cocked in the air. “An old bald elf who only talks of the Fade?”

I laughed at the image. I pictured Solas hunched over with a cane, shouting to himself about the good ol’ days in the Fade. “He’s really funny,” I defended.

“I suppose he has his moments,” Dorian hesitantly agreed. He took another sip of his sure-to-be-expensive alcohol.

Iron Bull laughed. “A human, with no magical ability, who likes to hang around an elf apostate because he’s funny.” He shook his horned head. “You’re one of a kind, Anna.”

I couldn’t agree with you more. I was definitely one of a kind in Thedas.

We all had a sip of our respective drinks. Dorian took a breath. “Like I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted by this plebeian,” he said, gesturing vaguely to me, “I am glad that the Inquisition was successful in disrupting Corypheus’s plans, yet again.” He raised his glass in the air. Bull and I clinked it in cheers.

“Yeah, except for that witch went wading into a Well of Sorrows,” said a pippy voice behind us. We all turned to see Sera, standing with her hands on her hips. “Who hears that and thinks, ‘Well, dunk a butt, let’s have a go!’ ”

Um, nobody, Sera. Nobody thinks that. “What does that even mean?” I asked her, eyebrow raised.

“It means,” Sera said, sitting down on a stool next to me, “that all that messing with those relics is just demon bait. It’s real stupid!”

I rolled my eyes at her. “You think Mythal was a demon?” I asked her, annoyed.

“That’s what it had to be!” Sera exclaimed angrily. “There can’t be a buncha gods and the Maker. Those don’t fit. Mythal is a ruin full of demons.”

I resisted the urge to smack her. She was insulting Solas’s, Lavellan’s, and her own heritage. I was glad that hobo wolf wasn’t here to hear it.

“It wasn’t full of demons. It was full of elves. Like you,” I said.

“Oooh, like you,” Sera imitated. “Why’s that the only thing people see?”

“But Sera, all that history... What if some of it is true?” I asked her, trying to reason.

She shook her head at me. “No, now you’re stupid. You can’t think that, because it’s stupid.” So difficult.

“I was there, Sera. You didn’t see shit, so how would you know?” I said bitterly, tossing back some ale.

Iron Bull and Dorian looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

“You’re not even an elf!” Sera exclaimed. “Why you bein’ so damned... elfy?” She gestured to Cabot to give her a beer.

Bull laughed. “Have you not seen her usual hang-out partner?” he asked, turning to Sera (the fucking elf).

Sera rolled her eyes. “Oh right. That tit.” She shook her head disapprovingly at me. “You can’t let him put these stupid ideas in ya head. Elfy elves are just the sore losers of history.”

“Sore losers?” I said, glaring. “They lost everything, Sera! They were enslaved.”

Dorian cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Bull touched his arm.

“Maker, you’re in it,” Sera said. “You sure Solas isn’t usin’ his magic on you? Is he trying to turn your ears pointy?” She grimaced. “That’s not a thing, right, Dorian?”

“Not a permanent one, no,” the mage replied, shifting uneasily.

“Listen, Annie, whatever hypno-shite droopy ears has done to you, it doesn’t mean you have to believe it, yeah? He may act all smart, but he doesn’t know his pants from his shirt.”

“But he’s—” Fen’Harel. I took a breath. “He’s seen it all in the Fade.”

“The Fade.” She blew a raspberry with her mouth. “Demons lie. That’s what they do.”

I sighed and took a big swig of my ale.

“Main takeaway,” Sera continued, “we got really weird power, and we can throw it at Coryphy-whatever.” When the dwarf handed her a glass, she raised it in a toast. “Fighting shite with shite! It’s like poetry or something, I don’t know. Get the bard on that!”

The argument was over then. I kicked her chair anyway.

Chapter Text

About a week later, Cassandra and I were sitting in the upper courtyard. I was positioned on the wall, my feet dangling precariously over the ledge to the Skyhold lower entryway. Cassandra was in a much more practical spot, leaning against the same wall.

We were discussing the latest chapter of Swords & Shields. We’d started a little book club over the series.

I was eating some cookies I nipped from the grand hall. My mouth had some crumbs on it when I said, “But I believe Avelina will always be loyal to her late husband. It has been a few years, sure, but the way she…” I trailed off. A pale, bald head caught my eye in the distance. It was Solas returning from Crestwood. Alone.

I jumped up. “I’m sorry, Cassandra! We’ll have to continue this later!” I grabbed my copy of the chapter and ran down the steps towards the Skyhold entrance.

The Seeker rolled her eyes at me, shaking her head. “Avelina belongs with Dominic!” she called after me.

Solas was putting his mount away at the stables. I rushed up to him asking, “Where’s Lavellan?!”

He exhaled tiredly. “Not now, Anna.” He turned to walk in the direction of his study.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You didn’t.” After all my advice? He broke up with her again? For the billionth time!!

I followed him right at his heels. “But I told you she would accept you! She would love you no matter what!” I said to him, attempting as best I could to keep my voice low. Was it just inevitable?

Solas said nothing, only continued to walk towards his study. I followed him helplessly, cursing myself for not preparing him better. I could’ve prevented this.

When we reached the rotunda, Solas fell into a distraught pile on his sofa. He sat with his elbows on his knees, face in his hands.

I sat next to him, feeling so angry. At Solas, at myself, at this whole situation. Would it never work out between them?

I thought of poor Lavellan, broken and alone, her vallaslin... I realized I didn’t know the outcome of her Mythal markings. “Did you remove her vallaslin?” I asked Solas quietly.

Solas didn’t look up, his face still buried in his fingers. “Yes.” It was hardly intelligible; he had barely breathed the word out.

I laid my head on the back of the couch, closing my eyes. My unfortunate, beautiful Inquisitor, dumped by the one she loved and trusted so much. Fucking Solas.

But I remained quiet. I could tell that he was hurting and heartbroken as well. We sat in silence for a long time. He had been so happy just a few days ago... It was awful how quickly circumstances had changed.

“I could not tell her,” he said finally, removing his hands from his face and leaning back into the sofa. “She was so beautiful,” he whispered. “Her eyes...” Solas exhaled deeply, staring off into the distance. His mouth drew into a quivering frown.

“Why did you do it?” I asked. “Surely there is a way for you two to be together?

He shook his head, eyes closed. “No,” he said decidedly. “There is no other way.”

I looked down at my hands. I was still holding Varric’s book and a stupid cookie. “Why not?” I begged. “Even if she found out, she knows you have been helping this whole time. She loves you. She’ll forgive you.”

“I know,” Solas said quietly, still not looking at me. “But I must complete my duty.”

I scoffed. “Your duty,” I said bitterly. “She can help.”

He shook his head again, and staring me in the eye this time, said, “No, da’len. She cannot. I must do this alone.”

I sighed. There was no getting through to him; he was too distraught to reason with. I looked again at the cookie in my hand and took a bite, thinking over the break-up cinematic again. The way his expression changed so drastically as he pulled away…

“I hope you gave her a good explanation for leaving, at least.”

Solas swallowed without answering.

I stared at him. “You didn’t, did you?” I said with a sigh. “Let me guess, you just said you can’t?”

“I told her I was distracting her from her duty,” he said quietly.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s a shitty thing to say, Solas. She’s handled dragons and rifts, but she can’t handle some romance? Come on.”

“What else could I say?” His voice was so tired.

“Things that would make more sense to her, at least,” I said. “Like, you could have told her you can’t see a future with her. That your lifestyle has no room for another person.” I waved my hand in the air. “You could say she deserves someone better, not someone stuck in dreams of the past.” I was kind of good at this... Solas should have had me dump her.

He sighed. “It does not matter now.”

“You could still fix this.”

He stood up. “It is done, Anna. Let me be.” Solas stormed out of the rotunda, leaving me to myself.

I took another bite of the cookie. It tasted dreadful.

Chapter Text

It’d been a few days since Solas had returned from Crestwood. He refused to talk to me, no matter how much I badgered him. I only stopped trying when he actually yelled at me. “Can you not bother someone else?!” he’d shouted. He exhaled sharply, then added quietly, “I will not ask you again.” I gave him some space after that.

I had been trying to talk reason into him, attempting to convince him that he was wrong, but Solas would either brush me off or counter so well I couldn’t argue. He was one smart, evasive hobo.

The day after Solas had returned from The Breakup, Lavellan came back too, her face bare of Mythal’s branches. She looked like a shell of her former self, weakened by a broken heart. I could commiserate acutely, knowing every word Solas had told her in that grotto. What a dick.

The Skyhold companions were annoyingly quiet and not mentioning what happened between the two elves. I supposed they thought it was for the best; people usually didn’t want to bring up their pain. But fuck that. I was gonna comfort that Gurlll.

I considered telling her all about Fen’Harel myself. Even if Solas ended up killing me for it… she had to know.

But would she believe me? I had witnessed her prayers in the Temple of Mythal, her recoil whenever a Dread Wolf statue appeared. She might know now that some of the stories about him are lies, but would that be enough to negate her lifelong belief of him being evil?

Lavellan had snapped at me at the temple when I tried to convince her not to drink. She didn’t trust me. Only Solas could persuade her. Only he could tell her the truth.

I walked my way to her quarters, knocking on her bedroom door. She didn’t answer, but I opened it regardless, since everyone else in Skyhold always did that anyway. (There were no locks in this fortress, by the way... and yes, wtf. Put in some fucking locks, people!!).

I found her lying on her bed, wrapped up in a fetal position. At first, I thought she was asleep, but when I came closer Lavellan said quietly, “What do you want?” She was a mess.

“Hey Gurlll, I heard what happened,” I told her gently, sitting on the bed. “Solas is an idiot.”

Lavellan flinched at his name. She pulled at the covers around her, clutching them closer to her face. “He told me...” she said in a shaking voice, “... he was distracting...” She sobbed a little. Only her head peeked out beneath the sheets, her white hair matted to her now-bare forehead.

I nodded. “He’s distracting you from your duty? Yeah, he told me, too.”

Lavellan sobbed loudly. “He just tells you everything! He tells you more than me,” she said angrily into her pillow. She was refusing to look at me.

Oh, shit. Was the Inquisitor jealous of me? Did she think I knew more than she did? (Well, she was right.)

Lavellan must have felt even worse if she thought Solas confided more in me than her... even if it was true. But the circumstances of our relationship were different: I alone knew his secret identity, which he had begrudgingly accepted. He could never be open with Lavellan until she knew, too.

I had to ease her mind. “No, no! I mean, I just asked what happened between you two, and he told me that it was for the best because of your duties and stuff.”

Lavellan cried some more, as if hearing me saying it again cut a fresh wound. I was really bad at this comforting thing.

“I’m sorry, Inquisitor,” I told her. “I just came to say, Solas is an idiot. And an ass. And old.” I banged my fist emphatically on the mattress. “He thinks he knows everything! As if only he knows what’s right, and he makes selfish choices because of it.” I furrowed my brow in anger, thinking of how cruel it was to leave someone without even giving them the dignity of an explanation.

Somewhere along my rant, Lavellan had stopped crying. She even sat up, blinking away some tears as she stared at me. Her face was extremely red, her eyes bloodshot. Even her pointy ears were reddish.

“He’s a selfish bastard,” I continued, my face set in determination. “And since he’s so old, he’s stuck in his ways. It will take a long time for him to be able to see his mistake in breaking it off.” Solas was just a stubborn old man.

The Inquisitor swallowed, looking at me strangely. “How old do you think he is?” she asked, confused.

“I dunno,” I shrugged, “but pretty fucking ancient.”

She laughed somewhat, looking out a window. It was a bitter, sarcastic kind of laugh. “He didn’t even really explain why.” Lavellan turned her gaze on me. “He just said he can’t.” She was upset, but at least she had stopped crying for the moment.

“He’s fucked up,” I said, looking into her red-rimmed eyes. “Be strong, Inquisitor. And know this: you are better than him.” She was fearless, pragmatic, and just. She had to know that there was nothing wrong with her, the problem was all him.

“Better?” she scoffed, turning away. She shook her head. “I was never good enough for him.”

“What, no!” I shook my head. “Of course, you are! Every day you fight to save the world—a world that treats you like garbage. You’re amazing, Inquisitor.”

“But he’s so critical… of everything I do,” Lavellan said, frowning. “I have to walk on eggshells just to talk to him sometimes.”

“He’s an ass!” I said. “You deserve so much more.”

Lavellan sighed. “Please leave,” she said, lying back down in the bed.

I nodded, standing up. “Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Though maybe I was only making it worse…

Lavellan didn’t respond, but stared blankly out a window. I left the room. I was gonna kill that hobo.

I marched to the rotunda, determined to confront Solas. He wasn’t there, though, so I went to his quarters instead. I busted through his door and found him sitting at his table. He had a book open, but it didn’t look like he was reading it, just staring off, lost in thought.

“Solas,” I said under my breath. I clenched my hand into a fist, ready to punch. I didn’t have any fighting skills or strength, but if I surprised him enough, I might do some damage.

He turned to look at me. I had expected him to be angry, like he was the last time we had spoken. But his eyes were sad, and slightly disappointed. He turned back towards his book. “Yes?” he asked softly, sounding defeated.

My hand relaxed. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t punish someone who was already punishing himself enough. Especially Solas. Because most of me wanted to hug the stupid elf.

I noticed he had painted one of the walls in his room now. It was a beautiful city, with glowing roads and columns that sparkled with runes. Crystals intertwined within trees, buildings floating among clouds... Arlathan. What was lost. A reminder of his mission.

I walked over to his side, examining his face. He was so depressed, he didn’t even bother to hide it like he normally did. His ears almost did look droopy, and he was somehow paler than usual, if that was possible. I sighed.

“What if...” I began. He gazed up at me, his expression the definition of melancholy. “What if you pretended I was Lavellan and practiced telling me the truth?” It was a silly idea that popped into my head. Maybe if he said it aloud, he would realize that she could learn the truth. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. It didn’t have to end his quest.

Solas exhaled, exasperated. “Anna, how many times must I tell you? There is no point.” He closed his book in a dramatic gesture. He got up as if to leave, walking towards the door.

“You don’t have to ever actually do it!” I said, rushing to his side. “It could just... make you feel better. Help you understand.”

He glowered at me. “What is there to understand? That she would accept me? Or reject me? The outcome does not matter; I will do this alone.”

At that point, I was sure that his “alone” referred to me standing there as well, saying, Can you leave me the fuck alone now? But I persisted regardless.

He started opening the door to the corridor to leave, but I slammed it shut with both my arms. “I’d like to discuss what happened before, Solas,” I said desperately, imitating my Inquisitor.

He turned to me, confused. “I have already told you; there is nothing to discuss.” He tried to push me aside.

I shook my head, placing all my weight against the door as I now leaned against it. “It would help me if you could explain why,” I said, breathlessly. He was still trying to force the door open.

Solas shook his head, incredulous, pushing me away again. “I have explained it to you, Anna.”

I clutched his tunic to try to prevent his exit. “Anna? I am the Inquisitor,” I said, tilting my head as if I was confused.

Solas sighed in frustration, stopping momentarily. “I am not playing your little game.” He started pulling on the door handle.

“Why?” I asked, upset, and still pressing my body against the door. “Because the answers would only lead to more questions? An emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us?!” Yeah. I had it memorized.

Solas paused, turning to face me. “Emotional entanglement? Da’len, I—” He was very confused.

I shook my head fiercely. “My name is Gurlll.”

He sighed. Solas thought for a moment, staring at me in disbelief. “The blame is mine, not yours,” he said quietly, conceding to my act and turning away from the door. Muahahaha. “It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough.” His back was to me now.

I shook my head, grabbing his arm. “It’s not enough. Tell me why. Now.”

He jerked away his arm, backing away from me. “I can’t.”

I grabbed both his arms this time, making him face me, shaking him. “You can.”

Solas sighed, closing his eyes. “I am not who you think I am.”

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head in fake-confusion again. “You’re Solas.”

He shook his bald head. “I have deceived you.”

I released him, shaking my own head now, as if I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Then... who? Who are you?”

He exhaled slowly, absorbing my crazy act. “Have you heard the legends of Fen’Harel?” Solas asked quietly.

I stepped backward in shock. “Yes, of course, but... what does that have to do with—?”

“It is said he walks amongst us...” He looked me sharply in the eye. “And he stands here before you.”

“I—I don’t understand,” I pretend-stammered. “Are you possessed by him? Did the Dread Wolf take Solas’s body?”

He shook his head. “No, Solas and Fen’Harel are one and the same. I created the apostate facade to help the Inquisition.” He took another deep breath, glancing towards the floor. “The Breach was my fault.”

I fell down to my knees. Solas kneeled next to me, alarmed that I was so into my acting. “I can’t believe... all this time... it was you,” I sputtered out.

He nodded, examining me cautiously. “Yes,” he said faintly.

“But why?” I looked up at him, tears forming in my eyes.

His own eyes widened, confused at my real-seeming emotion. “I... I was foolish,” he said. His gaze darted all over my dramatic expression. “I gave my orb to Corypheus, thinking he could... Anna, are you all right?!”

I shook my head. “I just can’t believe... I thought I knew you...”

“I know,” Solas said quietly. He stood up, pulling me with him. “I do not expect you to trust me enough to stay in Skyhold.”

I shook my head, grasping at his tunic. “No,” I said. “Even if this is... crazy.” I looked into his eyes. “I still love you. Please stay.”

He put his hand on my face, touching my cheek. My heart started to race. His eyes were searching my face, looking for answers. He drew himself closer to me, leaning in ever so slightly. It felt like he was going to kiss me. Was my acting that good??

“I do not think she would respond like that,” he said softly. He dropped his hand, walking away and turning his back to me. “Can we stop pretending now?”

Chapter Text

Ever since they broke up, Lavellan had refused to take Solas on any quests, much to the hobo’s dismay. Serves you right, ya jerkface. Instead, she headed off to Emprise du Lion with Cole, Cassandra, and Vivienne, who had been wanting to check out some Circle tomes there anyway. Everybody wins!

Except for, of course, the miserable Inquisitor and her stupid, wolf-god ex-boyfriend. But let’s not think about that.

As a result, Solas was left sulking in Skyhold by himself, heavily worrying after her, with only me to annoy him. And, no matter how many times I told him, “You know, you could just say you’re sorry, tell her the truth, get back together…,” he would just shake his pointy-eared head.

“But I know you want to…” I leaned towards him, lowering my voice to a whisper, “It would be sooo easy…”

“Have you somehow become a desire demon now?” he asked, aggravated. “I’ve never encountered a human as persistent as you.”

Even I was getting sick of repeating myself, so unfortunately, I had to give up on getting them back together for a while. Solas was a lost cause. He refused to reconsider his choice, and in turn, threw himself into studying ancient-y whatever and painting the Temple of Mythal mural like a madman. And sleeping. A lot of sleeping.

One evening though, I got a new idea of how to convince him. Not finding him in the rotunda, I knocked on his bedroom door. No response. “Hahren?” I called through the wood. When he still didn’t respond, I opened the door cautiously.

Solas was sitting at his table, reading again. I closed the door behind me and sat down at the other side, scooting the chair in so I could put my elbows on the tabletop. “Can I talk to you?” I asked timidly.

He still gave no recognition of me, only continued to stare down at the tome, his hand propping up the side of his head, the other idly turning a page.

“I was just curious about something, that’s all,” I continued quietly. “I’m not going to talk about Lavellan, I swear.”

Solas sighed. “What is it?” he asked faintly, still looking at his text.

“What do you miss most about Elvhenan?”

He raised his gaze to mine, measuring my expression. Solas looked so worn and somber, his mouth downturned. He turned his attention to his mural of Arlathan and pondered a moment before responding. “The magic,” he replied, his voice slightly raspy. “The magic that was always present, forever in the air; breathing, living, effortless.”

“Sounds lovely,” I commented, examining him. He seemed the slightest bit revived by my question. The distraction was probably welcome.

“It was.” He looked down again, turning a page in his book. I thought he had continued reading, but then he said, “And the cultural mentality of immortals.”

“Oh?” I said, perking up in interest. “How so?”

He met my gaze again, and I saw the spark somewhat return to his eyes. The spark he always got whenever he was able to impart knowledge to those willing to listen. “Shemlen today are hurried and careless, causing inaccuracies and mistakes in their work,” Solas explained. “In the time of Arlathan, immortals had eternity. They were patient and meticulous, achieving perfections beyond the dreams of any Thedosian today. Life was devoted to details.”

I nodded, smiling a little. “But... wouldn’t immortality just make people complacent? Like, ‘I can always do this later, so no point in doing it now’?”

Solas relaxed back into his chair, chuckling lightly, and his face warmed dramatically. “A fair point,” he commended, now intrigued by the discussion, “and such a mindset affected many. However, it did not inhibit the brilliant few.”

I smiled, happy to see him more like himself. “But surely people were less passionate?” I suggested. “There’s no rush with immortality, no drive, no compulsion... Nothing to make you live in the now.”

Solas leaned toward me across the table. “Do you think I am lacking passion, da’len?” he asked, giving me a sly smile.

I flushed a little. “Um, no, but... I can’t really say...” I mumbled awkwardly, his change in mood surprising me.

He sat back in his chair, looking smug. “Although time was endless, essentials for survival were still needed, so passion was never absent.” He looked me pointedly in the eye. “Although I see your argument. Shemlen do seem intensely more excitable.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t you think it’s somewhat appealing, though? To be mortal? To live each day as if it’s your last? To make bold choices because you know you’ll never get the chance again?”

Solas looked away with a frown, the darkness in his expression returning again. “I have made plenty of bold choices in my life to tire of their allure,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’ll never be bold again?” I asked, trying to push past his new gloom.

He turned back to me, his eyes grim. “No,” he answered, “but I understand its peril. Action without thought is one of life’s greatest dangers.”

I crossed my arms, slanting back into my chair. “You can be bold and still think before acting.”

“Of course,” Solas replied, glancing away again. “But it is seldom the case.”

I examined him a moment, contemplating my next words before finally saying, “I’m sure you thought hard before you locked them away.”

Solas looked back at me intensely, upset that I had brought up his Great Betrayal, even though I knew he had been thinking about it already on his own. “But my passion and pride were what made me bold enough to act, not my rationale nor expertise,” he sneered bitterly.

I exhaled, staring him straight in the eye. Solas was on edge, but I knew I had to keep pushing. “What are you planning to do, Solas? Just bring the gods back again? Isn’t that still about your passion and pride?”

He stared at me, offended and incredulous. “It is not about me,” he argued, his brow furrowed in anger. “It is about righting a wrong. Mending what should have never been broken.”

I shrugged, still holding my ground. “How are you so sure? How do you know it was wrong?”

Solas was indignant now. He sat up rigidly in his chair, gesturing wildly. “Look at the People, Anna. They became slaves, outlaws, shadows. They lost their magic, their immortality, their history. How can you see this and not believe it wrong?”

I nodded, holding his gaze. “Maybe it was just meant to be.”

He rolled his eyes, scoffing at me.

“Maybe,” I continued, leaning towards him on the table, “it was the only possible outcome. Maybe the People had to suffer in order to rebuild a better society. Maybe they would have lost it all even with the pantheon still there in power!”

Solas closed his eyes, touching a hand to his face as if the conversation pained him.

I continued anyway, completely unfazed. “Although immortal, elvhen were still among shemlen. Humans, dwarves, Qunari... They were growing in population, too. Didn’t spending time around them cause the elves to grow older, to age? Maybe becoming mortal was just the way of the world, with or without the gods there to stop it. Maybe Thedas itself destroyed Elvhenan. An inevitability through evolution.” Is there such a concept of evolution in Thedas?

Solas was silent a while, contemplating my words. He moved his hand to his mouth, tapping his fingers on his chin. “Regardless of what would or would not have been,” he finally said, “one man selfishly deciding the fate of an entire race... is wrong.”

“Or maybe it was the only right, the best thing to do,” I countered, eyeing him carefully. I propped my elbows on the table, resting my chin on them and tilting my head. “Maybe it saved a lot more lives than he thought... Maybe he prevented a much longer, bloodier war between all races in Thedas, as the struggle for power would have been much greater.”

He didn’t respond, just looked tiredly at a wall instead.

“The elves today need help, hahren. Everyone can see that.” I got up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “But I don’t think you need to punish yourself as much as you do.”

Solas exhaled sharply in disbelief. “You can only say that because you have not lived in the time of Elvhenan,” he said quietly, staring at the floor now.

“No,” I corrected. “I can only say that because I live in the Dragon Age.” I kneeled beside his chair, gazing up into his face since he wouldn’t do it voluntarily. “Just look around you, Solas. Look at the Inquisition. I have no doubt that Arlathan was magnificent in beauty and magic and technological advances and all that, but would you ever see something like the Inquisition there? Would you see so many races, cultures, people... working and living together? This is the living embodiment of a united Thedas.” We stared intently into each other’s eyes now. “I don’t think that would have been possible in Elvhenan, at least without the elvhen losing some of their power.”

Solas huffed a dry laugh. “You impress me with your wisdom, Anna.”

“Thanks.” I placed my hand on his. “But it was you who inspired me to open my eyes.” He smiled weakly at me, but said nothing.

“I still want to help you,” I assured him, “but I wanted you to understand my point of view.”

Solas raised a hand to my chin, gazing into my eyes. “Thank you, da’len. Your perspective is enlightening...” His thumb lightly caressed my cheek, “... and beautiful,” he breathed.

His eyes were lit with wonderment as they poured into mine, shining slightly from tears that wouldn’t fall. I smiled at him and stood up. He was tired, physically and emotionally, and needed to rest. “Goodnight, hahren,” I told him softly.

He nodded silently, still staring at me.

I left his room. Maybe I couldn’t mend his relationship with Lavellan. But perhaps I could mend his heart.

Chapter Text

Solas continued to be depressed, although he no longer rejected my company outright. I didn’t push him any further on the morality of his past decisions, or even his relationship with Lavellan. He was still strong in his resolve to complete his mission, but my words had unnerved him, and coupled with his breakup, he was a right mess. But after a few weeks of this melancholy, I was tired of his attitude. Your situation is self-inflicted, dammit. The least he could do was act like his normal, calm hobo self.

He wouldn’t voluntarily offer conversation, and he only spent time in his quarters or his study. It was like books had suddenly become the greatest thing in the world because all he ever did was read. Solas acted like he was fine, but his cycle of emotions remained the same: tired, sad, a little angry, depressed, tired. It was endless.

“You wanna go to the tavern with me, hahren?” I asked Solas one night, giving him a sly smile. He was sitting at his desk in the rotunda, reading some old book on artifacts.

“No,” he said, not even looking up at me. “That would be an inappropriate use of time.”

“Please, Solas,” I begged. “It’ll be fun! Plus, I need you to pay for me. I don’t have any money.”

He looked at me sternly. “That is hardly my fault,” he said, turning back to his book.

“Come on! We won’t be there that long. You can teach me Diamondback or something,” I suggested.

Solas laughed mockingly. “I doubt you could learn the game quickly,” he said harshly. I knew he was just teasing, but wow, what a douchey thing to say.

“Fine... then I’ll find someone else,” I huffed, walking away.

“A far superior plan,” he commented, still looking down at the book.

I tried another tactic. “You know, I hear the Inquisitor’s been seen with Iron Bull quite a lot these days,” I said, staring at Solas intently.

He glanced up at me briefly, but then returned to his book, pretending to continue reading. I crept closer to his chair, putting my hands on one of the arms. “There are rumors that he ties her up, making her scream all sorts of things...” I whispered deviously.

“Fenedhis, you will never stop.” He sighed, closing his book. “If it is so important to you that you feel the need to invent ridiculous stories, then I suppose I will accompany you.”

Heh, too easy. “How do you know if it’s true or not?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. Been keeping tabs, huh?

Solas reluctantly followed me to the Herald’s Rest. Along the way, I picked up Varric, who was always in the mood for a good boozy time.

The three of us walked happily (okay, maybe not Solas) towards the bar, with Varric and I discussing who else we should invite. “Let’s just see when we get there,” the dwarf said, brushing me off. I was a little too excited.

Varric wasn’t all too warm towards Solas, making the situation kind of uncomfortable. As we walked, Varric confronted him. “I don’t get you, Chuckles,” he said bitterly. “What you did to the Inquisitor...”

“You know,” I said, desperately trying to change the subject. “I once knew a dwarf and an elf who were best friends.”

Varric lifted an eyebrow, staring at me. “Okay...?”

“They hated each other at first, though. Couldn’t stand one another because of their cultural differences and prejudices and what not,” I continued. “But then they found out that even if they weren’t all that alike, they both had lost the ancient homes of their people.”

“And so they became ‘best friends’?” Varric asked in disbelief.

“Uh-huh,” I said, walking along the stone path. “They started making all these bets about who could get the most kills and stuff.”

“Violence is a means to an end,” Solas cut in. “It is not a game for gambling with lives.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, rolling my eyes, “but I’m just saying. Gimli and Legolas found common ground and became friends over it. They respected each other.” (Yes, I was referring to Lord of the Rings.)

“Wait,” Varric said. “Those are their names?” he asked. “Where are they from?”

I shrugged. “I dunno, someplace remote I guess. I never found out.” Because I never actually met them, cough.

“How do you know this elf and dwarf?” Solas asked incredulously.

I stared at the tavern ahead, shrugging. “I just met them when I was traveling once. They were transporting a ring or something.” Heh heh, maybe that was too much...

“I see,” Solas said, still not believing me. “An intriguing story, Anna. Are you suggesting that Master Tethras and I overcome our differences to become ‘best friends’ as the pair you once knew?”

I shrugged again, turning to him. “Why not?”

“Your optimism is admirable, da’len,” Solas said quietly to me.

“Yeah, nice story, Sleepy, but it’s not our ‘cultures’ that bother me,” Varric said. The dwarf was still pretty pissed at Solas.

So touchy, these two.

Once we were inside, I looked around eagerly. Bull was there, as usual, and to my unending delight so was Dorian. I scanned the room some more, my eyes stopping on a pair sitting. Yes, I thought. Perfect. Cullen and Josephine were there playing cards.

I walked towards the advisors, gesturing to Iron Bull and Dorian along the way to join us. When all of us had unified together, there was an awkward silence.

They were all glaring at Solas. Nobody besides me had spoken to him for weeks. Everyone knew he had broken Lavellan’s heart and stolen her vallaslin. They were all on her side, and he was the villain. So it was a good thing I was there.

“Let’s drink!” I exclaimed excitedly, guiding everyone to a large table to sit at. Solas sat at the end of the table next to me, with no one else on his other side. The group was keeping their distance from him.

Iron Bull went to get a round, and I jumped up to help him carry them. Everyone got an ale, except Dorian who was drinking wine (the snob). I handed a frosty tin mug to Solas. “Drink up!” I told him, giving his glass a clink and winking at the elf.

Solas observed the liquid, a sour expression on his face as he sniffed it. I smiled in anticipation as he took his first sip.

The beverage instantly repulsed him, and his eyes widened in anger at me. You have betrayed me, his glare said.

I laughed. “Pretty good, huh?”

He swallowed bitterly. “That is a gross inaccuracy,” he said.

I laughed again and glanced around the room, my eyes stopping on a hairy, brawny figure hunched over in a corner, trying to hide his face... I skipped over to him.

“Blackwalllll!” I shouted, making him jump. I gripped the warrior on the shoulders. “You can’t hide foreverrrr,” I sang. Dragging him by his coat, I brought him to the group. “You can sit next to Josephine,” I told him, gesturing to an empty seat beside her. He settled in next to her. Huhuhu, Matchmaker Anna on the job.

As I sat back in my chair, I noticed Cullen had moved to the seat next to mine. And he wasn’t wearing his furry armor for once, but a simple jacket, tunic, and breeches. “Cheers!” I said to him, tapping his glass with mine. He smiled, and we both took a sip.

“What were you two playing, anyway?” I asked Cullen and Josephine.

“Wicked Grace,” the ambassador answered. “I was winning,” she said smugly, cupping her glass with both hands.

“Let’s all play!” I suggested excitedly. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cullen naked, I thought pervertedly. Why was he so bad at this game?

“Do you even know how to play?” Solas sneered.

“Nope,” I said, ignoring his tone. I turned back to the others. “Will you guys teach me?”

Josephine nodded eagerly. “Yes, it is a pretty simple game!” She taught me the rules, with a few others chiming in their input. It was pretty much the same as poker, and, unbeknownst to these chumps, I was wicked good at poker. Heh heh heh.

“It’s important to keep a straight face now, kid,” Varric warned me. “Otherwise everyone will know your hand.”

I nodded innocently. “I think I get it!” I said, smiling.

We started our first game. Everyone was reluctant to let Solas join, knowing his tendency to mercilessly beat Blackwall at Diamondback, but I wasn’t having him left out. So the eight of us jumped in, with Josephine dealing just like the game cinematic.

“Solas, can I borrow some coin to bet?” I whispered to the wolf.

“No,” he said bluntly. Whatever, that hobo probably didn’t have any money anyway.

“Dorian!” I said to the mage sitting across the table from me. “Can I borrow some money?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “If you have no coin, then you have to find other ways to bet, sweet Anna.”

Gah. I looked around the table, eyes begging anyone else to lend me some coppers. Everyone kept their purses closed, laughing at my indignity.

“Fine!” I said, giving in. “I will bet my clothing then, but I’m only gonna take it off if I lose!” I resolved.

Iron Bull laughed. “Who said you had to bet that?” he said, smirking at my statement.

My face flushed a little. “Well, I don’t have anything else, now do I?”

Bull shrugged. “There are ways,” he said slyly. He and Dorian shared an evil-y laugh.

Like what, sex?? “I’m just gonna bet my clothes, okay!” I told them. And the game began.

It was a good thing I was broke though because it certainly made me play harder. There was no way I was gonna strip for these NPCs, no matter how much they would’ve enjoyed it.

And like I’d thought, I was pretty damned good at Wicked Grace, but I couldn’t say the same for my companions. Varric, despite having warned me about keeping a straight face, was strangely easy for me to tell that he was bluffing. He had bet just too many a coin, and I noticed his phony confidence. Dorian and Bull hardly seemed serious at all, throwing nearly all their money on the table, smiling without a care.

Cullen was adorably bad, hesitating too much and shifting his eyes nervously. No wonder he loses so easily. Solas and Josephine were excellent, as predicted, and Blackwall not so bad either... but I... I was good. My family and I used to play poker constantly in my childhood, so at a young age, I developed notable skill in keeping a straight face. At least when card games were concerned.

I played innocent at first, not betting more than my boots. The gang seemed to think I was nervous, so they let it slide. But after a couple of rounds, I had them by the hook, completely unaware of my strategy. I continued to win a round here and there, acting like the happiest, luckiest girl in all of Thedas. “Oh, wow! How did that even happen??” I took the humble winnings shyly. Solas narrowed his eyes on me though, highly skeptical.

In the next round, I decided to act like the previous one had made me overly confident, betting lots of money. The whole table started betting more and more, egging each other on to be as daring as Innocent Anna. They all thought they could beat me like some fool.

But eventually, shifty eyes and higher stakes made players fold left and right, and soon, it was just me and Solas remaining in the round, eyeing each other suspiciously. That elf was really good at keeping a poker face.

I gazed greedily at the pot, which was mounding with silver and copper coins. It was the biggest one yet since the companions had foolishly bet nearly all their coin. Solas was watchful of my plotting though, and had yet to fold like the rest. He pushed some more coin into the mound, forcing me to match it or quit. I gotta beat this stupid wolf. I bet the rest of my coin, but came up short. “And my entire outfit too!” I proclaimed. That’s probably equal to his bet, right? The group all looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

Solas studied my face, determining his next move. His eyebrow lifted casually, the corner of his mouth raising in a smirk. But then, he changed in attitude, and his expression turned annoyed. “Fold,” he said defeatedly. I had won the pot.

“Ahahahaha!” I laughed maniacally as I scooped up my fellow companions’ hard-earned money. I had hustled them good; no stripping required. “Play again?” I asked excitedly, glancing around the table.

The group was apprehensive, now that it was determined that two really good players were amongst them. “Perhaps... another time,” Josephine said uneasily. She had really taken a hit to her ego.

I felt guilty then, so to lighten the mood I suggested, “How about I buy us another round with my winnings?” I stood up from my seat.

The sore losers all agreed appreciatively, save one. “I do not require another,” Solas said coldly. He rose to leave.

I grabbed him by the arm. “Then help me carry the drinks,” I told him through clenched teeth. He sighed exasperatedly.

I lugged him towards Cabot, ordering six ales and two wines this time. Proudly dropping some coins into the dwarf’s hand for the first time (I had never paid for anything before), I handed Solas a glass of wine. “Just stay and drink this, please?”

He looked at me agitatedly. “Anna...” he said.

“Drink it,” I commanded. I glanced at the bard near the center of the room. “Besides,” I told him, smiling with one finger pointed in the air, “I have an idea.”

Chapter Text

I shuffled Solas back to his seat, and noticed another companion had joined our group: Sera. “Thanks for the invite,” she said sorely, crossing her arms.

“You would’ve just lost money, anyway,” I jeered at her, but then smiled. “You want a drink?”

“Course, yeah?” she said, returning a grin. I walked back to Cabot and ordered another one for her, paying for it even though I didn’t have to. What a saint I am, sigh.

As I brought the ale back to our table, I noticed that the conversation of the group had started to quiet. It was getting kind of late, and a lot of the tavern dwellers had already headed off to bed. The companions were beginning to tire, but I wasn’t having any of that.

I approached the bard, who was starting to pack up her things. “Hey,” I greeted. I was well into my second beer by then, and my body felt warm.

She looked at me, surprised. “Hello?” she said.

“I have a proposition for you.” I smiled drunkenly at her. “Do you have a book of all your bard songs? With like the lyrics and stuff?”

She raised an eyebrow at me and took out a little journal-sized booklet. “I always keep it with me,” she explained.

“Can I see it?” I asked. She handed it over to me, curious as to what I would do with it.

I flipped through the pages, giggling at their contents. “Okay,” I said, looking up at her. “Would you be willing to play while someone else sings? I’ll pay you!”

She looked confused, but shrugged. “I was finished for the night, anyway.”

“Awesome!” I exclaimed giddily, then skipped my way over to Cabot. “Do you mind if I sing a song in the tavern?”

He gave me a deadpan stare, until finally shrugging in permission. No shits given. The plan was all set.

I moved to the center of the tavern, holding the songbook in my hand. “Ahem!” I cleared my throat dramatically, grabbing the attention of the room and my companions. “Distinguished patrons of the Herald’s Rest! Tonight, I will be singing ‘Sera Was Never,’ a song written by...” I looked down at the book, gasping at my discovery. My eyes shot up, staring at the group in disbelief. “...Varric Tethras.”

The companions all turned to the rogue dwarf, looking for confirmation. He chuckled awkwardly. “Sometimes I write songs!” he defended.

I laughed, and then nodded at the bard. She started strumming her instrument, commencing the melody.

I began to sing “Sera,” glancing down at the lyrics whenever I couldn’t quite remember the words. The NPCs first gaped at me in awe, shocked that I had randomly started singing in front of the whole room.

I even danced along to the words, making gestures as if I were pulling the string of a bow. I definitely was not a good singer, but my showmanship seemed to make up for it, as the companions soon started clapping and laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

Encouraged by their entertained faces, I became a little braver in my performance, busting out some old music video moves I had learned from my high school days. I was certainly feeling the effects of the ale now. The alcohol had warmed me to the tips of my fingers, making my whole body feel hot.

Dorian whistled and laughed. Iron Bull clapped his hand on his knee, joyful tears running out of his eye from laughing too hard. Josephine was shaking her head, covering her hand with her mouth to quiet herself. Cullen was wide-eyed at first, but eventually started to laugh, and Blackwall just looked utterly confused, bushy brow furrowed, but I noticed a small smile underneath all that hair.

I could hear Sera asking loudly, “Is this song ‘bout me?”

Varric shrugged in response, laughing. The companions were all enjoying themselves.

And Solas... Well, whenever I glimpsed his way, his eyes would be intensely studying me. They were following my every movement, keenly observing the curve of my body as I danced. It was a little freaky, but I tried not to pay much mind to it. The show must go on.

When I finished, the group enthusiastically applauded me, with even some of the other tavern goers joining in. I bowed theatrically, and gestured towards the bard, clapping my hands to acknowledge her. I tipped her a generous amount of silver and headed back to my seat.

“An outstanding performance,” Dorian told me as I sat.

Josephine giggled. “You should be a bard,” she joked.

“Is that song really about me?” Sera asked Varric again, pushing the dwarf. Varric laughed awkwardly. “Maryden wrote most of it. She only wanted some pointers, I swear!” he replied.

I laughed at the rogues. I felt giddy from the high of my bard-karaoke and couldn’t stop smiling. My song and dance rekindled the group’s chatting, and an argument ensued about who should sing next.

I looked at Solas beside me, who was being frustratingly quiet. He periodically sipped his wine in silence, keeping his eyes at some distant point on the wall. I observed his face, which seemed to be refusing to look at me. My eyes wandered the curve of his jaw, how it sharply turned at his chin, connecting up to his lips... Mmmm.

I shook my head. WTF, Anna? I had to stay focused. My mission was to get Solas and Lavellan back together, not fangirl out about his face. I had to avenge all the broken hearts of Solasmancers around the world! But it practically seemed hopeless at this point; he was so stubborn. How was I going to do it? I leaned back in my chair to take a sip of my ale, my left hand falling limply to my side. It brushed against something, and I realized it was Solas’s hand, sending a streak of excited electricity up my arm.

How drunk am I? I thought. Very much so, it seemed, since I stayed my hand there, “casually” touching his.

The companions were laughing and talking amongst themselves, enjoying the evening. It seemed like no one was willing enough to sing as I had, though.

I sat there stupidly, pretending to listen to the others, but I was highly aware that the elf was also not moving his hand. Does he just not notice??? I wondered obsessively.

Cullen spoke to me then, bringing my attention to him. “You gave quite the impressive performance,” he complimented, smiling down at me.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling back. “Perhaps the dancing was over the top, though.” I laughed nervously. I slowly moved the fingers of my left hand, touching Solas’s lightly, but kept my eyes focused on Cullen.

Cullen chuckled. “No, that was the best part,” he said, one corner of his mouth turning up deviously. Was Cullen flirting with me??

I absently traced swirling lines into the Dread Wolf’s hand, testing the hobo’s patience. “Did you leave anyone behind in Kirkwall?” I asked Cullen in the meantime, one of my eyebrows raised seductively (I hoped) in the air. Why wasn’t Solas moving?

The Commander tilted his head. “How did you know I was in Kirkwall?”

Shit. I was supposed to play dumb. I had been in Skyhold so long now that I’d forgotten which things people were (and weren’t) aware of me knowing. I panicked, trying to think of an appropriate excuse.

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “Have you been asking about me?” he said charmingly.

I shrugged. “You caught me!” I said. I tugged at one of Solas’s fingers. Not a twitch. Was he dead? Was he glitching??

Cullen smiled. “No,” he said, answering my previous question. “I fear I made few friends there.” The Commander took a sip of his ale.

I grinned again at him, remembering some of his romance dialogue. “No one special... caught your interest?” I traced a finger to the top of the elf’s hand.

Cullen raised an eyebrow, oblivious to the hand-groping I was doing. “No one in Kirkwall...” he said alluringly.

The elf's hand jerked away, and mine jumped up in reflex. I pretended to scratch my head with my hand. “Heh,” I mumbled awkwardly to Cullen. He smiled, thinking he had made me nervous.

Luckily, Josephine, who had been laughing along with Blackwall, tugged at the Commander, asking, “Isn’t that right, Cullen? Blackwall doesn’t believe me!”

Cullen turned to her. “Isn’t what right?”

My conversation with Cullen now over, I peeked at Solas beside me through my peripheral vision. He was still staring at the wall. What the...

I had to find out what he was thinking. I turned my upper body to him fully, but as I opened my mouth to ask him, he said (still not looking at me), “An impressive performance, indeed.”

I laughed nervously. “Heh, you should sing next,” I suggested, the tipsiness really getting to me now.

He grabbed my wrist, the one connected to the perverted left hand, and yanked me closer to him, whispering into my ear, “Absolutely not.” The corners of his lips were curled into a smirk.

His thumb stroked my wrist, much in the same way I had to his hand earlier. My heart beat wildly at the touch, but he soon let me go, leaning back into his chair. His hand dropped to the same spot as before.

I looked at his smiling, smug face and his hand hanging there. Was he daring me to do it again?

Dorian and Bull rose up suddenly, grabbing my attention. They claimed to be “tired” and needed to go to bed. I watched as they shuffled off together, exiting the tavern. Varric soon followed suit, with Sera (who was, like, one ale away from blacking out) not long after. Josephine also had to leave, saying she had to be up early tomorrow. And with her gone, Blackwall announced his departure.

After this massive exodus, it was only Solas, Cullen, and me. Cullen turned to the both of us. “I am afraid I have early duties tomorrow morning as well,” he said, more to me than to Solas. “I suppose I shall... see you around?” he asked me.

I nodded. “G’night!” I exclaimed, giving him a little wave.

He smiled and left. And then there were two. I looked at Solas again, who had continued to stare at the wall again. “The alcohol is strong here...” I said to him, grinning. “Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?” I burst out laughing at my own statement. Solas didn’t react.

I looked in my glass, seeing that I still had a few sips left. I finished it off, and then grabbed Solas’s hand, lacing his fingers in mine. Whatever, I don’t give a fuck! I was pretty wasted.

He immediately stood from his seat, pulling me up by the hand. “It is time to leave, Anna,” he said calmly.

I sighed. “Okay...” I said, defeated.

He slipped out of my hand, but delicately pressed into my lower back, urging me forward. We were the last ones to leave Herald’s Rest that night.

Chapter Text

The two of us walked back through the courtyard to return to our respective quarters. Solas had attempted to walk a few steps away from me, but I sneakily snaked my arm through his, leaning in on him as we went. He stiffened at the touch, but ultimately allowed it. Huhuhu.

“That was fun,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder and holding his arm. What a firm bicep...

Solas chuckled softly. “Yes, you seemed to enjoy yourself,” he said darkly. Mysteriously... He looked down at me. “I do not understand why you insisted I go so badly.”

I sighed. This hobo. “Solas, you need to get out of that study every once in a while. You’re just wallowing in there.” It’d been a month already without a real change in him.

“You are probably right,” he said, gazing at something in the distance. “But I still find it strange that you spend all your time seeking me out. I am sure you could find better company elsewhere in Skyhold.” Why does everyone keep saying that here??

“Aw, don’t say that, Solas!” I said, laughing at his suggestion and stumbling a little on my footing. “You should know the reason by now, anyway.”

“Because you wish to help me achieve my goals?” he asked curiously, tilting his head towards me.

I laughed again. That was partially the reason, I supposed. I leaned a little harder on him when I said, “It’s because I love you, silly hahren.”

Solas stopped walking then, forcing me to pause as well. “I was unaware,” he said in disbelief.

I drunkenly giggled again, continuing to walk on without him and opening my arms up to the sky. “Ar lath ma, Fen’Harel.” I looked back at him, taking in the worried expression on his face. “You’ve somehow become my best friend.” What a thought.

I walked back to him, closing the short distance between us. I took one of his hands, patting it in my own. There, there, old elf man. I looked into his sad, blue eyes. “You deserve to be happy, Solas.”

He still didn’t say anything, but just continued to look at me uneasily, his brow furrowed with concern. I smiled at him and said softly, “You deserve to be with Lavellan.”

Solas stared at me, remaining silent. I ended up walking back to my bedroom alone, since he was too dumbstruck to move by what I had told him. Was it really that shocking?

Leaving him in the courtyard, I somehow managed to stumble into my quarters. It was pitch-black in there, but I found my hard straw bed and instantly passed out. I was wasted as hell.

When I opened my eyes, Solas stood before me. I blinked a bit, slowly becoming aware. I was standing, too, but this wasn’t Skyhold, it was the dreamy Fade-land. Solas was smiling at me, in a small, pleasant sort of way, wearing his normal hobo garb.

“Hello, Anna,” he said to me, his hands clasped behind his back.

I smiled back. “Dread Wolf,” I nodded. I looked around then. I had never been to this place before, but it was somehow familiar...

“You told me once,” he said, casually glancing around the area with me, “that you wished to know what the Temple of Fen’Harel looked like.” He turned his gaze back on me, smiling a bit brighter.

Oh. That would explain all the wolves.

I laughed at the realization of where I was. As my eyes further examined the temple, it strangely reminded me of Solas’s mural in the rotunda. The building had a sort of abstract, angular architecture about it. Large, triangular pieces of stained glass were spread intermittently throughout the polyhedron ceiling, filtering the sunlight in different shades of blue and green.

Giant wolf statues howled opposite each other, melding into an archway that led to a grand, marble staircase. The floor was made of beautiful, patterned tiles that merged up into the walls, creating the slightest gradient from dark to light.

I walked towards a wall and on closer inspection, I noticed the mosaics depicted wolves in various forms: hunting, sleeping, protecting. They decorated the walls in an entrancing diagram, delicately connecting one form to the next.

“You were right, Solas,” I said, looking back at him and grinning. “This is way cooler than the Temple of Mythal.”

Solas laughed. “Shall I take that as admiration?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking at another statue, a smaller one carved in onyx. I walked my way over to it, leaning in for a closer look. “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled. “This was when the temple was at the height of its glory,” he explained, walking over to the same statue beside me.

“What is it like now?” I asked him, eyeing how intricately the fur was carved from stone. Did they use magic to chisel it so perfectly?

He fondled one of the wolf statue’s ears and smiled at me sadly. “Destroyed.” He retreated his hand and looked at something farther away.

I glimpsed at the ceiling again, taking in its angular details. This temple was probably the coolest building I had ever seen, in Dragon Age or real life. And it was gone. “That’s really sad,” I said quietly.

“Anna,” Solas said, his serious tone alerting my attention. “What is it you think I will do once I have retrieved my orb?”

I looked at him. “Stop Corypheus,” I replied.

“Yes,” he said cautiously, “and then?”

“I… I don’t actually know,” I admitted. “I thought you might want to release the elven pantheon. So that they could restore the elves again.”

Solas hummed. “Yes, that is correct,” he said. “I do plan to release the Evanuris.”

“Evanuris?” I asked, brow raised. “Is that the Elvish word for them?”

He nodded. “Do you know how they would restore the elves?”

“I... I’m not sure,” I said. “Legends say that when the gods were betrayed by you, the elves lost everything. They began to age, and most lost their magic.” I shrugged. “So by that story, I assume that when the gods return, so will the elves’ power.”

“Do you think it is so simple?” Solas eyed me with intrigue.

“Is it simple?” I asked. “The gods sound like pretty scary people.”

“They are,” he agreed. “Which is why I must tell you—” He took a breath. “I will set the Evanuris free. And I must walk this path in solitude.”

“But why?” I asked with an exasperated exhale. “Why do you have to do everything alone?!”

“Because they will kill me, Anna,” Solas said harshly, brow furrowed. He turned away abruptly. “You must realize this.”

I took a step back, the air escaping my lungs. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, what he had said. It made perfect sense that the gods would want to kill him for locking them up and changing the People forever.

But I supposed I had always thought he had a plan. Some way of escape. I never thought he was actually going to die, just get a bad ass-whooping or something. I shook my head at him. “No, there must be another way,” I choked out. “You don’t have to die.”

“No,” he said solemnly. “There is no other way, and that is why I must leave the Inquisitor. Why I must also leave you, Anna.”

Hot tears were rolling down my cheeks now. I clutched my arms around myself and couldn’t stop sobbing. It was like he had broken up with my Lavellan all over again.

Stupid wolf.

Chapter Text

Solas was quiet, his lips drawn thin and firm as he watched me. I exhaled sharply, tears still wet on my face and continuing to fall.

“I am sorry,” he said, regarding me with mournful eyes.

I folded my arms around him. I buried my face into his tunic, my nose rubbing against the soft fabric. “You’re the worst, Solas,” I mumbled, hugging him tighter, my voice thick with tears.

“I am,” he agreed. He put a hand on my head, and the other around me, returning my embrace. It was comforting.

Although Solas was telling me he would leave, that there was absolutely no way he would stay, or even allow me to come with him, I had already resolved long ago to follow him if I could. Solas still had no idea how much I knew, and with that, I had hope to convince him to at least let me join him. But I wouldn’t try just yet.

I wasn’t afraid of dying. Well, not that much. Because I probably would wake up in my regular life if I did.

We stayed holding each other for a little while until I stopped crying. He gently stroked my hair and said soothing-sounding words in Elvish. I was glad Solas didn’t try to run away like he usually did, but perhaps that was because I understood his plans better than anyone else. He had no reason to abandon me yet.

Solas pulled away from me and put his hand on my chin, smiling sadly. “You have a strength about you, da’len. You are a courageous spirit.” It was the nicest thing he had ever said to me, but I still couldn’t smile.

“Can I look around the rest of the temple?” I asked him, wiping away some leftover tears.

“Yes,” he told me, a doleful smile on his mouth. “For as long as you wish.”

That was kind of him. He probably had loads of other things he'd prefer to be dreaming. I turned away from Solas to examine my surroundings again. We were completely alone, and everything was unnaturally quiet and still. I began to wander his temple, admiring the architecture and beautiful construct of it all. The design was lovely; subtle, yet exquisite.

I traipsed up the large staircase, my bare feet—he had taken off my shoes again, that hobo—noiselessly padding on the stone floor. I arrived at a smaller room that contained what resembled an altar. A humongous statue of a Fen’Harel wolf sat there, his six eyes gazing down at us. The pedestal before it looked like it used to hold something, but I couldn’t tell what. “What was this for?” I asked, placing a hand on its smooth white, marble top.

Solas, who had been silently following me as I traversed the temple, replied, “It is for offerings.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Like what? What did they offer you?” I asked anxiously. Something disturbing??

He could tell I had something dark in mind, and laughed at my expression, his eyes sparkling. “What are you thinking? A live sacrifice?”

I shrugged. “You are the Dread Wolf,” I countered. Even Mythal called him that.

His laugh turned into a somber smile, and he answered, “It was usually royal elfroot.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “That’s nice.” I thought of elves coming to the temple, placing the plant on the altar, whispering prayers to their wolf god. “Why royal elfroot?” I asked.

Solas approached the pedestal and grazed his fingers over its surface. “The plant has extraordinary properties. It can heal fatal wounds, and even continue to repair past that.” He turned to look at me. “To give it as an offering is both a gift and a request. It is to say, ‘I offer this to heal your wounds, and hope that you will aid me in return.’”

I smiled. “Give and take.”

He nodded. “In a way, yes.”

I examined Solas. It was the most unguarded I had ever seen him, even more than when he was crying into his books over dumping Lavellan. He looked so worn now, so sad, and so entirely open. Has anyone ever seen him like this before?

I wondered what it would be like, to be a god that was worshipped... and then one hated by all. To have such a beautiful place in your name, and then have it torn down to nothing, in an act of vengeance and despair.

“Fen’Harel,” I said. He locked his eyes with mine. “What were you the god of?”

He angled his head in curiosity, surprised by my question. Bitch, you don’t know already? I imagined him thinking.

I continued, “Right now you’re known as the Betrayer. The god of betrayal. But I know that harel can also mean trickery or rebellion. Did people pray to you because of your tricks? Because you were known to rebel? Would people pray to you when they wanted to rebel or something?”

Solas wasn’t angered by my question. He only smiled at my interest to learn more about him. “I was a protector of the weak,” he explained. “I would help those who had the odds against them, the ones who needed it most.”

I beamed as it finally clicked. A god of rebellion, who would defend those fighting their oppressors. He smiled back, laughing a little at my expression.

“You never knew this, Anna?” he asked, inclining his head with a half-smile.

I laughed. “No, it always confused me.”

He nodded. “I led the rebellion against the pantheon. I rallied those enslaved by their cruelty, until I was finally able to lock them away.”

“That’s… quite a feat, hahren.”

“It took all the power I had,” he said, glancing at the ceiling. “This temple was only built in the final years of my struggle.” He looked back at me with sigh. “I never wanted such a place.”

Sooo humble, this guy. “You never wanted to be worshipped?” I asked, brow raised.

Solas studied me. “I am not some all-knowing entity, da’len.”

“True,” I smiled, “but you do know a lot.”

“Then why don’t you worship me?” he challenged. “You know I am Fen’Harel.”

“Who says I don’t?” I grinned, but he only frowned at me.

I sighed, shaking my head. “Come on, Solas. I’m kidding.” I thumped him on the arm with a fist. “I know you don’t want to be worshipped. That wouldn’t be like you at all. I was just curious about your thoughts.”

His expression warmed, eyes glimmering in the light of the dream. “Thank you, Anna,” he said softly.

“For what?”

“For understanding,” he said, his gaze lowering. “For… caring enough to ask.”

“Well, now you’re just being silly,” I said. “I’m always gonna ask. You know that.”

Solas only smiled.

Chapter Text

I woke up to a feeling of dread, and it wasn’t just the massive hangover. Solas had revealed more than he’d ever before, and though I appreciated him finally trusting me enough to confide in me, I certainly hadn’t liked what I’d heard.

Was he really going to die? It didn’t seem possible. Not that he couldn’t die, but that he trusted the pantheon—the Evanuris—enough to continue his goals without him. Now that I thought about it, of course they’d want to kill him. He locked them away, and the elves suffered because of it. It wasn’t something to take lightly. But was freeing these pissed-off gods really the best plan? There had to be a better way.

I would do anything to keep him from marching to his death. I just had to figure out how.

Solas didn’t speak to me much the week after that dream. I supposed he needed some space. His struggles were even worse than I’d initially assumed. He was brokenhearted, guilt-ridden, and also expecting his impending doom? That was a lot for one hobo to handle.

What would I do if Solas was gone? He had become such a staple in my life here in Thedas. I would have been kicked out of Skyhold immediately if it weren’t for him. If I truly was stuck here, I’d have to figure out how to survive in this world for real. Without him.

Sure, my knowledge was useful for the Inquisition story, but what happened when the game ended? I’d have nothing to offer anymore, and nothing to rely on.

Although… what if I just woke up when it ended, and it didn’t matter anyway?

And there was always another possibility. I thought back to the Arbor Wilds, when I’d almost died from that Red Templar. It really felt like I was returning home again…

Was dying the only way? Like Solas, did I also need to die to get back to my world?

* * *

After days of his silence, I decided to head to Solas’s room. Despite my efforts with the tavern to get him out of his quarters, he still was sequestering himself, probably because the whole castle despised him now. So I thought bringing the tavern to him might at least liven him up a little. And if I were to be completely honest… I wanted to spend more time with Solas—if he really could be dying soon.

I plonked a wine bottle down on his bedroom’s small table. “Have a drink with me, hahren?” I asked. I’d opened his door Inquisitor-style (aka not knocking).

“No, thank you,” Solas said, sitting there reading. As usual. At least he wasn’t annoyed, though, as he’d been the last month or so.

“Why not?”

He stared at me. “The last time I drank with you, you stole all of my coin. I rather not risk it.”

“Stole?” I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Solas. I won that fair and square.”

He scoffed. “I let you win, da’len.”

“Let me win? Well, then it sounds like I didn’t steal it.” I smiled and sat at the table. “Come on, drink with me! I brought everything we need so we can just stay here. You don’t have to worry about the others.” I gestured to the bottle and two wine glasses on the table. I’d even taken some bread and cheese from the main hall.

Solas sighed, closing his book. “Very well. One drink.”

I smiled. “This wine was highly recommended to me by Josephine, so I’m sure you’ll love it.” I poured two glasses. “How are you feeling, anyway?” I asked, eyeing him.

“I–” Solas paused, considering his answer. “I am fine.”

“Yeah?” I said. “You’re sleeping okay? Eating, all that stuff?” He hadn’t visited me in the Fade again, so I had no idea if he was or not, and I never saw him in the grand hall for meals.

He arched a brow. “Yes?”

“I just worry about you is all,” I said, shrugging. “Is it that weird for me to ask?”

“No,” Solas replied. “I appreciate your concern for my well-being.” His mouth curled. “And how are you feeling, Anna?”

I smiled. “Well, I’ve recently heard some shocking news about a dear friend of mine, so I’ve been better.”

Solas swallowed, worry clouding his features. “Da’len, I—”

“Solas, it’s fine,” I said, raising a hand to stop whatever he was about to say. “I mean—I’m not happy about what you told me. It’s terrible, and I hate it.” My mouth pinched. “I don’t want you to die. Obviously.” I exhaled, drumming my fingers on the table. “But you know, it’s what you planned to do long before you ever met me. And I don’t even belong in this realm, anyway.” I took another sip of wine. “We’re both just trying to get back our worlds, so who am I to interfere with you trying to get back yours?”

His gaze fell towards the floor. “Yes, I… I wish I could help you.”

I smiled and patted his hand on the table. “You do. By being my friend.”

He returned a smile. “I have researched your predicament, but nothing of consequence has appeared.”

“Thank you, Solas. That means a lot to me,” I said, my face warming a tinge. My eyes drifted to his Arlathan painting, and I sighed. “I’m not sure what else to try, really. I’ve slept in all sorts of places, and dreaming of my world doesn’t seem to bring me to it. It’s been making me think that the only way to go back might be me dying here.” I huffed a laugh. “So it seems like we’re in similar boats, hahren.”

Solas frowned. “You think your death in Thedas could return you to your world?” he asked, skeptical.

I shrugged. “I mean, yeah? What else is there to do? A spell or something? But if you’ve never heard of a spell like that, then it probably doesn’t exist.”

“I do not know everything, Anna,” he reproached, mouth still turned downwards.

“I know,” I replied, voice quiet. “But… but something tells me that’s the only way. It just seems so improbable that I’d come to Thedas in the first place. Like it was some bizarre circumstance that can’t be replicated.”

“But how would your death return you there?” Solas had stopped drinking his wine and edged forward in his chair, highly concerned. “Would not a spell or portal be more likely?”

I exhaled. “I don’t know. I guess I think it’ll right the wrong or something? I’m not supposed to be here, and dying would fix that.”

“You think it was wrong for you to come here?”

Duh. I shrugged. “Yes? Don’t you?”

“I… Nothing feels wrong about you,” Solas said in a soft voice. “I suppose I have grown accustomed to your companionship, but… I feel you fit well here. Better than myself.”

“Solas.” I smiled, my brow knitting together. “That’s nice of you to say, but I think you know it’s not true.” I touched his hand again, tapping a finger on his knuckle. “I wish you wouldn’t say that about yourself. People just—they get scared of the unknown. And unfortunately, a lot of who you are is unknown to most.”

“Are you referring to my identity?” Solas asked, confused.

“No—not that. I mean, you being a Fade expert. An apostate. Friend of spirits. Stuff like that. It scares people.”

He hummed.

“I, on the other hand, am a complete and total weirdo.” I grinned, folding my arms across my chest. “I don’t belong in the least.”

Solas smiled. “Yes, but it is your complete rejection of the paradigm that makes you so…”

“What?” I asked when he did not finish, my head angled in question.

His gaze met mine. “Endearing.”

My face heated and I looked downwards, taking another sip. “You’re only saying that because you think I want to die now.”

Solas frowned. “No, it is the truth.”

“But would you have said it if I hadn’t told you about dying?” I asked, finishing my glass.

He exhaled, staring out the only window in his bedroom. It didn’t have much of a view, but you could see some of the lower courtyard and its trees. “How could I even say? You have a way of extracting things from me I would never reveal willingly.”

“Like what?” I quirked a brow. “When you told me about your plans to die?”

Solas swallowed, turning his attention towards me again. “Yes.”

I hummed. “It’s not so nice, is it? Hearing a friend thinks they need to die.”

“Our circumstances are nothing alike, Anna,” he said, a twinge of aggravation in his tone. He drank from his glass. “I must die to free my people. You believe dying may return you home. It is not to be compared.”

“No, you think you will die and it might free your people,” I said. “There are no guarantees either.”

Solas sighed, falling into his chair and remaining silent.

“You know I’m right, Solas,” I said. “If you free the pantheon, then yeah, they may kill you. But they also might not, because they know nothing about Thedas now and could be really freaked out so you’ll need to guide them.” I shrugged, rotating my glass in my hand.

Solas stared at his mural, still quiet.

“And if they did kill you,” I continued, “they might just enslave all the elves again, and you’re back to where you started. Except, the gods will probably fight all the other races of Thedas now and there will be constant wars.” Seeing my glass was empty, I poured some more wine into it. “So maybe they’ll be free, maybe they won’t. Maybe you’ll die, maybe you won’t.”

“They would save the People,” Solas said finally, frowning. “The Evanuris—even with their faults—would never accept the state of the elves as they are now.”

“Yeah, maybe. But they’ll definitely try to kill everyone else.” I sipped my glass. “Right? Weren’t they warring with humans all the time, anyway?”

“Not warring,” he answered. “But they were not treated as equals.”

“Well, they’ll probably hate them for enslaving the elves and want to kill them. And it’ll be hard if there’s a war because the elves are so weakened now and humans are so powerful, and the elves could end up even more damaged and disadvantaged than they are now.” I shrugged again. “But, I’m sure you’ve thought of all this.”

Solas didn’t say anything.

“Unless, of course,” I said, “it’s because you don’t actually care about modern elves at all, since they might never get back their magic and immortality. And you really just want to awaken the gods to create new elvhen, like Abelas or whatever.” I drank some more, and I was probably getting to the point where I should stop, but I no longer cared. “Because honestly, that makes a lot more sense with what you’ve told me.”

“Anna.” He looked angry now, his cheeks tinged pink.

I finished my second glass of wine. “What? If you can’t take my criticisms, then maybe you shouldn’t criticize my theories for my own damn life.” I stood up, hands slammed on the table. “I am so supportive of you, Solas. All I ever do is try to help you, but you don’t care at all!”

“Anna,” he repeated, alarmed and standing now as well. “I was not criticizing your ideas. I—I simply think it requires more research before jumping to such conclusions. In case your theory isn’t true.”

“Because then I’ll just be dead.”

“Yes.”

I gaped at him. “Solas, come on! Do you not see how hypocritical you’re being?”

He straightened.

“You might die,” I said. “For nothing.”

“I have done the research!” Solas said, voice rising. “You think I would risk my people, risk the world without it?!”

“I have no idea what you’ve done,” I said, crossing my arms, “because you never tell me anything.”

“And why must I tell you everything, Anna?” he demanded. “What gives you the right to learn every detail of my life?”

“Because I care about you!” I cried. “And I don’t want you to die!”

Solas took a breath. “And I do not wish for you to die, either. But that is our reality, da’len. One you must accept.”

I wiped my eye on my sleeve. “The only reality you need to accept is this one.”

“Speak for yourself,” he snapped. “Never have you even attempted to start a life here in Thedas.”

“Why would I?” I said. “I don’t even belong here!”

“Neither do I!” Solas fumed. “But I am trying to make change here. I am working towards fixing this world. What have you done, Anna?”

“You’re from Thedas, Solas. Of course you belong here!”

“This is not my world,” he said heatedly. “You cannot convince me otherwise.”

“It is,” I said, tears in my eyes. “You’re just pretending it isn’t.”

“I am done discussing this with you,” Solas hissed.

“Well, so am I!” I left in a huff, slamming his door behind me.

* * *

Soooo maybe alcohol wasn’t the best idea.

I hadn’t meant to go off on him like that. (Even if he deserved it.) But I’d thought he would have been more sympathetic about my situation. Though I knew he was right. I needed to plan for a future in Thedas, in case I never went back home. But what if I did, and then poofed back anyway? Shouldn’t I take as much advantage of living in this game as I could? Did I really need to bother, when there was no concrete proof of whether I’d stay or go?

Regardless, I felt awful for yelling at him. I’d gone there to cheer him up, and instead picked a fight. He was already so torn up inside, and I was only adding to the pain. And if Solas really did die, I might not have much time with him left. I needed to make amends as soon as possible.

So I knocked on his door the next day.

“Yes?” Solas said warily as he cracked it open.

“I’ve brought you something,” I said, lifting a jug in my hands. “It’s water.”

“Water?”

“I thought you might need it after yesterday. I know I did when I woke up this morning,” I said, shifting my weight nervously. “Can I talk to you?”

Solas sighed, opening his door. I entered his room and glanced around. All evidence of the wine from the previous night had already been cleared away. Solas closed the door and turned to me, folding his arms.

“I came to apologize,” I said. “I know I got pretty heated yesterday, and I’m sorry about that.” I paused to take a breath. “You’re right. I haven’t done anything here, and I’m just wasting my time.”

“Anna.” Solas shook his head. “My words were callous and undue,” he said, voice gentle.

“But you were right, Solas,” I said, combing a hand through my hair. “If I never go back to my realm, what will I do here? I can’t depend on the Inquisition forever.”

“They would help you.”

“Maybe,” I said. “But it’s not a guarantee.” I sighed. “And I also wanted to say… that you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. You deserve your privacy. I mean, it’s not like I don’t keep stuff from you, too. I have plenty of secrets.”

Solas raised a brow. “Have you?” he asked, eyes glinting with curiosity.

“Oh, sure, loads. You have no idea.” I smiled tiredly. “But—yeah. I’m sorry. It’s not my business to tell you what to do.”

“Thank you, da’len,” Solas said. “And I should apologize as well. If you believe your death will transport you back to your realm, then I must accept it. Just as you have accepted mine.”

“Well, I’m not going to go jumping off cliffs anytime soon,” I said, a corner of my mouth lifting. “But I… do wonder how much of my other life is passing me by while I’m stuck here. And if it would be better to go sooner rather than later.”

Solas swallowed, his brow creasing together in uneasiness. “I see.”

I touched his arm, right above the elbow. “I’m going to look into it more, okay? I won’t do anything rash, I promise.”

“Anna,” he said, bending his arm to touch my own in turn, “will you promise me that you—you will consult me before making any decisions?”

“Of course,” I said with a small smile. “You’re the only one I can talk to about this, anyway.”

“Yes,” Solas said, that knot still in his brow as his hand dropped to his side again. “Have you ever considered telling someone else?”

I shrugged. “No? Not really. It’s so hard to explain as it is. People would probably think I’m crazy if I told them where I’m actually from. You only believe me because you saw my dream.”

“I see.”

“And I don’t feel like I need to, anyway,” I said, smiling. “I just don’t think anyone else would understand it the way you do.”

Solas nodded, gazing at me. “I… feel the same.”

I smiled a bit wider. “Okay, well… are we good?”

“Yes,” he said, smiling a little.

“I’m really, really sorry,” I repeated. “I didn’t mean to blow up on you like that. I know you’re stressed enough as it is. You don’t need all my mess on top of that.”

“You can tell me what is on your mind, Anna,” Solas said, reaching out to rub the sleeve of my arm. “I want to help, if I am able to. I…” One side of his mouth turned upwards. “I would only prefer less shouting when you do so.”

“I’ll try that next time,” I said, smiling. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone now.” I turned to open the door, but stopped to point at the water jug I’d left on the table. “And drink that water. It’s good for you.”

He nodded, still smiling. “I will.”

Chapter Text

“Seraaaaaaaaa!” I called, walking up the huge-ass stairs of the tavern.

I found her sitting on the roof right outside her window, feet dangling over the edge, and a bucket of water in hand. “Um,” I said, slightly out of breath, “what’s going on?”

Sera whipped around and smiled at me. “This,” she said, gesturing to the bucket, “is goin’ on someone’s head!”

I took a careful step onto the roof. “Whose?” I asked warily.

“Mmmm,” she hummed. “I’m thinkin’ Cassandra. That cagey, boxed up, prissy romantic deserves a good prank.” She looked quite satisfied with herself.

“Nice,” I sat down next to her. “I have a question for you.”

“‘Course you do. Well, spit it out, then,” Sera said with a grin.

We both looked down at the ground, waiting for the Seeker to come into view. “I was wondering if you could teach me some archery,” I said.

The rogue burst out laughing. “You?!” she said between gasps. “You couldn’t aim an arrow if it was attached to ya head!” She found this annoyingly entertaining.

I hit her on the arm. “I’m serious, Sera! I need to learn how to defend myself!” I said. I had to start doing something in Thedas, and combat seemed the most useful.

Sera continued giggling, nearly dropping the bucket of water. “All right, ya tit, I’ll do it!” She snickered a bit more. “Should be a laugh, anyway.” Sera eyed me deviously. “But only on one condition!”

“Okay...” I said hesitantly. “What?”

“This!” Sera tossed the bucket of water on me. She got up and ran away, laughing.

I sat there a moment, drenched and stunned, and shivering now, too. Soon, I got up myself, chasing after the elf. “I am gonna fucking kill you, Sera!!!” I shouted after her.

* * *

Sera held up her end of the bargain though, and one warm-ish day, the two of us stood in Skyhold's archery range. “So what do ya know about bows and arrows, anyway?” she asked, handing me a simple longbow.

“Um.” I took it from her. “Nothing?”

She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Oh, you owe me big!”

Sera taught me the basics of how to hold a bow, draw, and aim the arrow. Luckily, it wasn’t all that complicated, and soon, I was shooting towards the target—although I had yet to hit it. I sucked.

I drew my bow, focusing my gaze on the cloth target set up across the archery range. Taking a deep breath, I let the arrow fly. Miss. Complete miss. In fact, such a bad miss that it hit a tree. Like, three yards away from the target.

“Fuck,” I cursed.

“An impressive shot,” a smug, wolfy voice from behind me said. “Every tree in Thedas will be at your mercy.”

I turned around to see Solas smirking at me with his arms crossed. He was standing near the edge of the range, just outside its little wooden fence.

“Well,” I said, relaxing my bow, “look who finally popped his bald head out of his room.”

Sera snickered furiously. “Baldy,” she said, laughing to herself. She was sitting crossed-legged on a bale of hay near the fence.

“I decided to take your advice, Anna,” Solas said, giving me a small smile, “and stop ‘wallowing in there,’ as you so eloquently phrased it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I can see that,” I told him. “And I’m taking your advice, too.” I smiled at him, lifting up the bow. “Learning some defense!”

Solas shook his head, smiling. “I have not heard continuously missing a target called defense before,” he teased.

I shrugged. “I’m trying.” I turned around, attempting to shoot a couple more arrows, but missing every time.

Sera laughed. “How can you be so bad at this?” she snickered. “Keep ya arse straight, Annie!” she shouted, commenting on my posture.

I took another breath, drawing the bow again, trying to keep my body straight. My arrow hit the very edge of the target. “Yes!” I shouted a bit too loudly. “May the Dread Wolf fucking take you!” I turned around to Solas, giving him a proud smile.

Solas arched an eyebrow at me. “I believe that curse only applies to a target you intend to hit.” He took a step closer, placing his hands on the fence. “Your shot would barely be a graze, if even that.” A sly smile spread across his mouth.

I leaned toward him. “Well, you would know all about that curse, wouldn’t you?” I said in a low voice.

He bowed his head ever so slightly, smiling at me. I turned back to the target, determined to hit closer to the center. I shot another arrow and it landed a little more inward. Better...

“Not bad!” another voice behind me said. I turned to see Cullen observing me as well now from behind the fence. Great. I had become today’s Skyhold entertainment apparently. “But I would suggest keeping your arm lower and your shoulder down,” Cullen commented, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

I tried to do as he told me, shooting another arrow. It hit closer to the center this time, but only bounced off the target.

“Good...” Cullen lied sympathetically, “but you have to move your whole body with the draw, not just your arm. Sera, why don’t you show her?” He looked toward the elf.

Sera stood, walking over next to me. She drew her own bow and fired an arrow into the dead center of the target. “Easy!” she said, smiling. She returned to her seat, crossing her legs and arms smugly.

I attempted to imitate her archer posture, but my arrow bounced off the target again. I exhaled, exacerbated. “I’m too weak!” I said, annoyed with myself.

“No,” Cullen said, shaking his head and walking his way over. “It’s your stance.” He had me draw again, but pushed my shoulder back and moved my waist to align with the bow. “Like this,” he said softly, his hands releasing my body and stepping away.

I narrowed my focus on the target, aiming the arrow. It hit much closer to the center (although still not that close), and actually stayed in this time. “I did it!” I said, hopping up and down in my excitement. “Thanks, Cullen!” I told the Commander, giving him a small side-hug.

Cullen stood very still, laughing awkwardly. “It is not a problem...” he muttered.

Sera laughed. “Little Cully-wully has gotten all sorts a red!” she said in a mock-baby tone.

“Actually,” Solas said, who was suddenly right next to me, “you must relax your pose before aiming; that will ensure the closest shot.” He gestured for me to try again.

I held my bow up, drawing the string with the arrow in place. Solas stood at my back, pressing on my shoulders with his hands, and my heart quickened at the touch. “Now relax,” Solas said gently into my ear. “And aim. Make sure your arm follows through with the shot.” He stood back to give me space.

I let the arrow fly, and it surprisingly landed in the center, puncturing the target viciously. “Oh, shit,” I said in shock. “Solas!!” I said excitedly, throwing my arms around him. “You are a god.”

Solas rolled his eyes at my comment. But he smiled, laughing a little at my enthusiasm. He patted my back. “It was nothing, da’len,” Solas said warmly. Cullen scratched his head awkwardly beside us, clearing his throat.

“Well, I coulda taught you that!” Sera said, indignant. “But seems like you don’t need me anymore, so I’m just gonna piss off then.”

“Thank you, Sera!!” I shouted after her, letting go of Solas. She waved me off, heading towards the Herald’s Rest.

“You still are in no way able to defend yourself,” Solas remarked.

Cullen butted in. “Yes, Anna, more practice is in order if you are to truly enter battle.”

I nodded seriously in response.

“Yes, da’len,” Solas said abruptly, turning my attention to him. “There is actually a very effective method of practicing in the Fade that I could teach you.”

Cullen rolled his eyes. “But the Fade isn’t real, it can’t teach you the skills needed for battle.” He shook his blonde head.

Solas folded his arms, clearly annoyed. “The Fade is real, as are the experiences within it. It allows a person to perfect a craft in half the time regularly deemed necessary.”

The Commander shook his head incredulously. “The Fade cannot offer a proper test of reflex, though. That is only shown in real life,” the Commander countered, pointing a finger emphatically at the elf.

“Real life is—” Solas began, his jaw clenched.

“Whatever, I’m tired!” I said, cutting off their argument. “I think I’m gonna get a drink with Sera.” I leaned my bow and quill against the fence and started walking towards the tavern. I turned back. “Are you guys coming?”

They both nodded and hurried after me. These boys and their combat.

Chapter Text

“To me!” I said, holding up my ale emphatically. “Finally being able to fight something!”

“Somethin’ is a bit exaggerated,” Sera snickered. “You’d be lucky to hit a mountain!” She laughed and toasted my mug.

Sera, Solas, Cullen, and I were all seated at a square table in the tavern, the four of us each occupying our own side. Cullen and Solas were on my sides, and Sera sat across from me. Much to my surprise, Solas had agreed to drink an ale along with the rest of us.

“Well,” I said, after taking a sip, “maybe once I practice a little more, I can actually get out of Skyhold.”

Cullen frowned in concern, an eyebrow raised in the air. “Do you wish to leave the Inquisition?” he asked.

I shook my head, waving my hand. “No, no! It’s not that, I just want to go somewhere. Like on a quest or something... Anything, really.” I took another big gulp. Bleh.

Cullen relaxed. “Well, I’m certain I could take you somewhere...” he said, then added, “or have it arranged, that is.”

I shrugged. “I still need to learn to protect myself, though.”

“You certainly do,” Solas commented, taking a small sip of his beverage.

“Hey, Cullen!” I said, perking up as I remembered some old War Table banter. “Don’t you think Lake Calenhad looks like a bunny?” I snickered.

Cullen laughed, leaning towards me and slamming his glass on the table in delighted disbelief. “That’s what I’ve always said!” He seemed overjoyed by our common observation.

Solas rolled his eyes and fell back in his chair, annoyed. I laughed with Cullen, who continued to smile at me jubilantly.

“She’s got a pretty voice, doesn’t she?” Sera asked, not paying attention to the conversation. “Certainly better than yours,” she said to me, chuckling with a pointing finger.

I followed her gaze to see she was staring at the bard. “Yeah, she’s pretty good,” I agreed.

“Oh!” Sera jumped up from her seat. “She’s goin’ on break. I’m gonna chat up that Maryden!” She went running off. Desperate, much?

I turned back to Cullen. He was quietly drinking his ale. “So what do you like to do for fun, Cullen?”

“Me?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I mean, there’s not much to do around Skyhold...” I shrugged. I watched as Sera started talking to the bard. The rogue shifted her weight between her feet, bouncing her fists on her thighs. Sera’s so awkward...

“Ah, yes.” Cullen thought a moment, tilting his head and gazing upwards. He looked back at me and answered, “Well, I certainly enjoy a game of chess.”

“Mmm, chess, right...” I took a sip, glancing down at the table. “Anything else?”

He laughed uneasily. “I must admit, Anna, my work consumes most of my time. I hardly am ever free.”

I smiled. “No, you’re a workaholic, Cullen,” I said, pointing at him accusingly. “You never give yourself free time.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “The Inquisition needs as much attention as possible. We must be fully prepared to fight Corypheus,” Cullen defended.

“Yes,” I said, nodding and taking another sip, “but one man can only do so much. And he’ll usually do less if he’s too overworked.”

He smiled, his eyes drifting towards the floor. “Perhaps I should take some time off.”

I leaned my elbow on the table, propping my head with my hand. “Well, just a break or two would be good, I’m sure,” I said, taking a gulp and grinning.

Cullen finished his drink. “Unfortunately, I really should be going,” he said reluctantly, rising from his chair. “I’ve neglected my duties for too long today.” He gave me a small smile (and a cold, narrow-eyed nod to Solas) before leaving the two of us (who pretty much had no responsibilities, cough).

With Solas and I now alone, it felt oddly... date-like. I took another sip, my face feeling warm. “You did not ask what I enjoy doing,” the elf observed, sounding bothered.

I laughed. “That’s because I know already, hahren.” I smiled, holding up a fist. “You like to read about old stuff, paint, and go into the Fade, seeing more old stuff.” I counted each item with a finger.

“I enjoy more than that,” he said indignantly.

“Yeah, and I’m sure Cullen likes more than chess. But I really just wanted suggestions for fun stuff to do around Skyhold.” I shrugged. “I want to start doing more around here.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What did you like to do in your home?”

“Hmm,” I said, considering. “Well, my world is quite different from here. We had a lot more... entertainment.”

“Such as?”

I thought of what would be appropriate to tell him. “Like shows... sort of like... theatrical plays that you could watch at any time. At the click of a button.”

Solas squinted at me, confused. “The click of a button?”

“Yeah, like you’d press a button on a machine.”

“You would press something and actors instantly perform? Are they possessed or enslaved?”

I laughed. “No, it's pre-recorded, like... watching a memory acted out by spirits in the Fade.”

“I see,” he said, pondering my words. “But you were not asleep to witness this?”

I smiled. “Nope. It happens when you’re awake, whenever you want.” I took another gulp of ale.

“This is fascinating indeed.” Solas thought a moment. “Then your world must not have a Veil.”

“Huh, you know, I’m actually not sure.” I never thought about there being a Veil or not… If it existed at all, it was probably a much thicker Veil than the one in Thedas. “And it’s not done by magic, so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“How were these memories recorded then?”

Hmmm. This would be a lot to explain. “Well… we have machines that record them. And then other machines to play them back.”

“Machines?” Solas wondered. He contemplated this, eyeing me. “I am very intrigued, da’len.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty different from here...” I said, my fingers fiddling with my glass. “Our lives are practically dependent on machines.”

“Dependent?” he asked, highly curious.

I nodded. “Yeah, like we use them every day, for everything.” What I wouldn’t give for my phone here in Thedas...

“Can you show me?” Solas leaned toward me. “Can you show me more of your world?”

“I dunno...” I said uneasily. It seemed risky. What if he freaked out? What if he learned the truth that he was just in a game?

“Why not?” he asked, slouching in disappointment.

“Ehh.” My face scrunched into uncertainty. “I’m worried about your... reaction.”

Solas laughed. “Anna, I have lived for a long time, and seen much in the Fade. I am sure I can handle your home.”

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow. “How can you be so sure, hm?”

“Anywhere you come from cannot be threatening...” he smirked, “and I have already seen some of it from your dreams.”

I frowned. “Wait,” I said, pounding my hands on the table. “Dream’s’? As in multiple?? I only remember the one...”

Solas straightened in his seat, coughing and averting his gaze from me.

“Solas...” I glared at him, narrowing my eyes. Don’t tell me all this time...

He took a sip of his drink, grimacing instantly from the taste.

I covered my face with my hands. He’s snuck into more of my dreams?? “Oh, my god... Solas, you are such a CREEP!”

“I was only curious,” he explained calmly.

I removed my hands from my eyes, gaping at him in disbelief. “That’s not an excuse.”

“I did not mean to invade your mind,” Solas said. He didn’t even look sorry!

I huffed in anger. “Hm, are you sure about that? Because that’s kind of exactly what you did.”

“I only came when you would call me,” he said, indignant. “And then I grew more... interested.”

Panic rose in my stomach. “What do you mean ‘I called you’?”

“You often dream of me,” he said quietly, gazing downwards.

“Oh, my god,” I said, hiding my face again. “This is so mortifying,” I murmured into my hands.

“You need not be ashamed,” Solas said sympathetically. “I often dream of you as well.”

I still covered my face, refusing to look at him. “Yeah, because you always break into mine!”

“That isn’t what I meant,” he said softly.

I blew out a slow breath, trying to calm myself. “Well, I’m not gonna show you anything.” I removed my hands and looked him straight in the eye. “You don’t deserve it.”

He sighed. “As you wish.”

I crossed my arms. “And you have to do something for me, as punishment.”

“Very well,” Solas said. “What, then?”

“Hmm.” I had to think about it. What could I get him to do for me, to really make him repent? Heh heh… My thoughts started flying in all sorts of directions, an evil smile spreading on my lips.

As I considered what to do, Solas edged toward me. “What about my hands, da’len?” he asked. He moved both of his out before me on the table.

“Um, what?” My gaze shifted from his face to his hands.

Solas arched a brow. “You have a preoccupation with them, do you not?”

“No, I don’t,” I blurted out, heat creeping up my neck. Had he seen that in a dream??

His mouth stretched into a smile. “Did you think I had forgotten your behavior the night we played Wicked Grace?” Solas asked.

My face was on fire now. “That was—I was drunk.”

“Is that the reason? Nothing more?” He lifted one of his hands, floating it before my face. “Is that what you do when you’re intoxicated? You tug and pull at limbs that are not yours?’

I swallowed. “You let me do it.”

“I was testing you, da’len.” He dropped his hand to the table. “And you failed.”

“Testing me? Testing what?” I leaned back, crossing my arms. “You were just drunk, too.”

“Well, I am far from intoxicated now and granting you my full permission.” He slid his hand towards me. “Can you resist the temptation?”

“Stop it,” I said, slapping his hand away. “I’m the one punishing you right now, okay? You can’t be all…”

“Yes?” He smirked at me, folding his hands in his lap.

“Annoying,” I sneered at him. “I’m increasing your punishment now.” I took another gulp of my drink, and an idea struck me. I jabbed my finger at him. “You have to take me somewhere, hahren!”

“What do you have in mind?” he asked apprehensively, eyeing me.

“Like, a quest... I mean, just because the Inquisitor isn’t here, doesn’t mean we can’t do something important!” I exclaimed, my scheme exciting me more with every word, the alcohol pushing away my previous embarrassment into some back area of my head.

Solas still looked confused. “What do you mean?” His glass sat practically full on the table.

“Like... something like... measuring the Veil!” I said excitedly, my eyes lighting up. Yeah!

“Measuring the Veil?” Solas asked, perplexed.

“You know,” I said, patting him on the arm. “Turning on those elven artifacts or whatever.” I took another sip.

“Ah,” Solas said, understanding. His eyes moved away towards a wall.

“How many have been activated, anyway?” I inquired, bringing back his attention.

Solas sighed. “Sadly, only three.” He took a sip, making another disgusted frown. “And I fear no more shall be activated as the Inquisitor has no ability to detect them.”

“But you do,” I said, poking him in the chest.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting that we foolishly leave Skyhold to activate these relics, while Corypheus’s imminent attack is nearly upon us?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much!” I smiled dumbly at him. “And this is your punishment, anyway. You don’t get a choice!”

He shook his head, sighing. “Surely you see the flawed logic of that proposal.”

“Solas, come on!” I said, pushing him gently. “The fight with Corypheus won’t happen until Lavellan goes to the Shrine of Mythal, anyway.” I flapped my hand as if to dismiss the magister’s threat. “And we can always be contacted by raven!” I smiled encouragingly at him.

He still wasn’t convinced. “No,” Solas said, shaking his head. Such a stubborn egg.

“Solas, please!” I begged, cupping my hands together. “You need to get out of here! I need to get out of here! It’s not doing either of us any good to stick around.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “Plus,” I added quietly, “the Veil needs to be strengthened! Imagine all the people that could be saved.” Was anybody really saved by the artifacts? Doubt it......

Solas studied my face, considering my proposition. He exhaled, closing his eyes briefly. “Perhaps, if we are quick, and only go to ones nearby.”

I nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in my chair.

“But only,” he cautioned, raising one finger in the air, “if others will join us. You still cannot defend yourself, Anna, and your well-being will not be solely dependent on me.”

I laughed. “That’s easy! We’re not the only ones around here who’re bored!” I hugged the elf, barely able to contain my excitement as I threw my arms around his neck. “Thank you, hahren,” I breathed into his ear. I was pretty close then, and my heart started to race. I could smell his familiar scent; it was so lovely, his aroma, like sandalwood and elfroot...

“I only hope we do not regret this,” Solas remarked quietly, shifting a bit in his seat. I pulled away, realizing my clinging had become awkward.

“Don’t worry,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile. “We won’t.”

Chapter Text

A few days later, Iron Bull, Varric, Solas, and I set out to activate some elven artifacts.

“I’ll go,” Varric had hesitantly agreed, “but only if along the way we can destroy any red lyrium veins that we come across.”

“Yeah, Varric, no duh,” I said, patting the dwarf on the shoulder. “That’s a given.”

Iron Bull was easy to convince since he pretty much wanted to hit things all the time. “Yes,” he said immediately. “Let’s go.” (I had barely finished asking the question.)

So off went a Qunari, a dwarf, an elf, and a human, skipping out the gates of Skyhold. It was just like the Wizard of Oz or something.

We rode horses to the Hinterlands, as Solas said there were still two artifacts there. I grew more and more excited as the prospect of a new area came closer. Even if it was the Hinterlands. Which was probably the dullest, most nondescript place ever.

Eventually, we had to stop for the night on our way there, and after a simple camp was established, Varric had the (unsurprising) suggestion of telling stories around our campfire.

“Did I ever tell you about the time we broke into Chateau Haine?” he asked us, looking at each of our faces across the fire. “It started, as most capers do, with a trap...” He proceeded to tell the tale of his adventure there with Hawke. Same story from the Wicked Grace scene, huh, Varric? We all laughed (well, Solas kind of smiled) because Varric is such a good storyteller, always knowing the right times to pause for drama or make a joke.

When the dwarf finished, he looked at me expectantly. “Well, Sleepy? You’re up.”

Shit. I had stories, sure. But nothing that would make sense to a Dragon Age character. I thought a moment. “Okay,” I said, remembering a good one. “I once dated this guy who was extremely good-looking.”

Iron Bull snorted loudly.

“But he was a total kleptomaniac,” I said, grinning. “Like, he’d just steal practically anything. Anytime we went somewhere, he’d nip something, you know? A glass from a restaurant, a novel at a bookshop… Anything.”

Varric raised an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged. “I didn’t know that before we started dating. But anyway, once he told me to meet him in a park, since he had a surprise prepared for me. Excitedly, I agreed, and I met him there at the designated time. It was this nice little park, with a big field and lots of flowers... When I arrived, I saw that he had laid out a little picnic for us, with a blanket and a basket and some food and everything! It was so sweet, or so I thought...”

I smiled at the companions, taking in their expressions. Varric still had an eyebrow raised, confused at where this story was going. Bull looked amused, grinning encouragingly at me. Solas had a deadpan expression, completely calm. Seriously?

“So we started eating,” I went on, “and it was delicious. I was shocked that he had made it all from scratch since I had never even seen him cook before!” The light of the fire danced over all of the companions’ faces, casting exaggerated shadows on their expressions. “But then a couple approached us, and this man angrily shouted, ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’” I made my voice deeper for the impression.

Both of Varric’s eyebrows shot up. I continued on with a smile. “My boyfriend told me, ‘Run!’ and we had to beat it like hell. As it turned out, he had stolen the picnic. A picnic! From some other couple in the park! Who does that??”

Iron Bull laughed. “What did you do after that?” he asked me.

I grinned. “I punched him.”

“What?!” Varric said, leaning forward in disbelief, eyes bulging slightly. “You punched him?”

I nodded proudly. “He was shocked, nose bleeding and everything. I told him, ‘I’m tired of all your random criminal shit! What are you trying to prove, anyway?!’ and I broke up with him, right then and there.” I crossed my arms, smiling haughtily. “Looks can’t get you everything, my guy.”

Varric and Bull laughed. Even Solas smiled. It wasn’t as amusing a story as Varric’s, but at least I somewhat entertained.

“What about you, Chuckles?” Varric asked, directing the question at the hobo. “Got any good stories?”

Solas was staring off into the distance, as if contemplating. “Yes,” he said casually.

“Well, then, let’s hear it!” Varric enthused. It touched my heart to see him trying to include the cold elf.

Solas took a sip of the tin of water he was holding. “It involves an encounter I had with a Dalish clan.”

“Oh, shit,” I said, a little too loudly. The gang all looked at me. “I, um... please continue, Solas.” I gestured to him with my hand. This story could be intense.

Solas raised an eyebrow, but continued his tale. “Once during my travels through the Dales, I happened upon a Dalish camp. I had been traveling a long time and thought to seek some shelter among them.”

“You sought shelter?” Varric asked skeptically.

“Yes,” said Solas, clearly aggravated at the comment. “It is not always easy traveling alone. I was tired and weakened, I needed food and protection, and I had believed this clan could provide me with such. When I approached the camp, they met me with suspicion and disdain, calling me ‘flat-ear,’ as they are wont to do.”

He took another sip before continuing. “I pleaded as their lethallin to lend me some aid, but they refused to help an outsider, even a fellow elf. I was threatened and forced away, and their attitude angered me. So I immediately sought vengeance.”

“Oh, my god. What did you do?” I asked in horror. Why was he telling this story in front of Varric and Bull???

He eyed me with a smile. “I mixed blood lotus powder into their provisions.”

Iron Bull and Varric burst out laughing. “That is good, Solas,” Bull said, chuckling.

“Wait,” I said, confused. “I don’t get it.”

Varric looked at me, still laughing a bit. “Aw, Sleepy, don’t tell me you don’t know the effects of blood lotus if you eat it?”

I shrugged. “Um... no?”

“It gives you the shits,” Iron Bull rumbled. He and Varric laughed again, while Solas smiled smugly to himself.

I laughed. “Are you serious, Solas?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, somewhat proudly. “And I was sure to observe the outcome.” He took a sip of his water. “But viewing was unnecessary, as the smell could be detected from quite a far distance.”

“Ew! That’s nasty, hahren!” I said, covering my mouth and laughing. “Were they okay??”

He was still smiling. “They were fine, da’len.”

I moved myself closer to Solas, sitting right beside him on the ground. “Why were you so weak that you needed their help, though?” I asked him quietly.

He eyed the others, who had started chatting to each other about something, before he answered me in a low voice, “I was nearly powerless when I first awoke. It was not an easy transition.” He took a sip of his drink, leaning back and staring into the fire.

I nodded. Must have been hard...

“Hey, you lovebirds, are you going to listen to Bull’s story or what?” Varric asked me and Solas.

“What?!” I said, turning to the dwarf. “Why would you say that?!” I felt my face turning red.

Bull laughed, looking at us with a mischievous expression. “What does ‘hahren’ mean anyway?”

“Elder,” Solas answered indifferently, his face neutral.

Varric burst out laughing. “You owe me a sovereign,” he told Bull, pointing his finger at him.

Bull shook his head, smiling. “I thought it meant ‘sweetie’ or something.” He then continued with his story of when he had consumed blood lotus. (Totally gross, btw.)

I scooted a little farther away from the elf. I didn’t want them thinking that. After Bull’s story, everyone was pretty tired and thus prepared for sleep. We laid out some bedrolls by the fire. Solas went to casting wards around the camp, and I followed him.

“Solas,” I whispered. “Can you believe they said that stuff?!”

Solas arched an eyebrow, stopping his rune-drawing momentarily. “What do you mean?”

“The lovebird stuff,” I said urgently under my breath.

He rolled his eyes, continuing the rune with his staff. Solas finished and turned to me, inclining his head to the side. “Is it so surprising?” he asked, eyes locked on mine and burning with intrigue.

“Uh... yes?” I said, suddenly uncomfortable from his intense gaze.

His eyes continued to bore into mine, seemingly searching for something. After a time—mere seconds, really—he looked back at the camp, breaking our eye contact and the tension. “We are always together, Anna. You are the only one who now willingly seeks me out.” His gaze returned to me, shrugging. “It is a natural conclusion.”

“Yeah, but...” I glanced back at the camp. Bull and Varric were settling into their bedrolls now. “It's not even true, and it looks really bad.” Me and the Inquisitor’s ex, hello??

Solas chuckled lightly. He put his hand under my chin, lifting my face back to his gaze. “Then perhaps you should start ignoring me,” he said with a sly smile, his eyes glowing in the dim light.

I held my breath, my heart beating a little faster. “I can’t do that,” I whispered, staring into his deep gaze.

Solas hummed consideringly. He let go of my chin, taking a step back. “Then you will have to suffer the consequences, da’len.” He walked back to camp. After a few deep breaths, I did the same. It took a little longer to sleep that night.

* * *

The next morning, we continued to the Hinterlands as before. Everyone was acting the same as usual, so I relaxed a little. They had just been teasing us (or rather, me because Solas didn’t seem to care). As we rode our horses, a group of four bandits appeared in our view that had previously been hidden by boulders.

“Shit,” Varric said, dismounting his mare. He looked up at me. “Watch the mounts, Sleepy.” He approached the outlaws, with Iron Bull and Solas following suit. I did as he said, holding all the reins. There was a tree nearby, so I tethered the horses to it.

The brawl began. My companions were all skilled fighters, so I didn’t think that this would be a tough battle. The bandits were clunky, used to scaring more than actually fighting. But they still had weapons and were somewhat proficient with them.

I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to try my new archery skillz. I took my bow from my back and snuck closer to the fight. Solas was on the edge of the battle, languidly casting spells on the men. He noticed my approach and said, “Stay behind me!”

I stopped a few steps behind him, as requested, but aimed my arrow at one of the bandits. The man was fighting with Bull, swords clashing with one another. I took a breath, and let the arrow fly.

“Fuck!” Iron Bull shouted. My arrow had landed in his thigh. Whoops.

“Anna!” Solas shouted angrily.

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, dropping my bow defensively. It was clear I was not meant for battle.

The bandits had their own archer among them, and after noticing our shouts, fired an arrow toward Solas and me. “Solas!” I shrieked worriedly, pushing us both to the ground. As we tumbled down, our heads bashed painfully into each other’s, and I ended up lying on top of him.

Another arrow flew at us, but fizzled away into previously-invisible blue magic. “I have a barrier,” Solas yelled, rubbing his head and trying to move from underneath me.

I clambered off him. “Is it protecting both of us?” I asked, still lying clumsily in the grass.

He sprang to his feet. “Of course.” He aimed his staff directly at the archer, and a fiery burst emerged from it, killing the bandit instantly.

I remained on the ground as the companions finished off the enemies. It seemed the best place to stay at the moment. The battle soon concluded, and Solas helped me to my feet.

He glared at me. “Never do that again, da’len,” he warned.

I nodded shamefully. Iron Bull limped over to us. “Can you help me out here, Solas?” he asked. Solas quickly yanked out the arrow, causing a grunt from Bull, and healed the wound using a spell from his hand.

“I’m so, so sorry, Bull!” I said, hurrying over to them. “I was trying to hit the bandit!”

“Yeah, I figured,” he said, rubbing his now-mended leg. “Just don’t do it again, kid.”

“You know, Sleepy, Sera told me how bad you were at shooting, but I had thought it was at least better than that...” Varric mocked, smiling at me.

“Seriously, Bull!” I said, ignoring the dwarf. “Please let me make it up to you! I’ll do whatever you want!”

Iron Bull thought a moment. “All right,” he said, smiling deviously. “You can be my slave, then.”

I swallowed. “And what exactly does that mean?” I asked cautiously. Collars and leashes and leather straps?? You never knew with Iron Bull...

Bull laughed. “A slave can’t ask questions, Anna, only do as she is told.” He winked at me.

“Enough,” Solas said sharply. “It was a simple mistake, let us leave it at that.”

The Qunari shrugged. “She’s the one who was offering,” he said, walking back to the mounts.

We all started riding again, and Solas and Bull continued some verbal chess match that had been ongoing for a while. Varric rode beside me. “You want some more archery pointers, Sleepy?” he asked.

I nodded. “I don’t know how to hit a moving target,” I said pathetically.

“Just watch your mark and anticipate where it’ll move next,” Varric explained. “Observe its speed, the direction of its movement, and you’ll hit it. It just takes a little thinking.”

I smiled, nodding. “Okay, I’ll try that next time.”

He laughed uneasily. “How about you practice on a fennec first or something?”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” I said, laughing. Was I the worst archer in all of Thedas or what?

Chapter Text

While we journeyed, my mind kept wandering to Solas sneaking into my dreams. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. What had he seen?

I normally didn’t remember my dreams. I would wake up, and they would flutter away, disappearing into some forgotten corner of my brain. I only really remembered a handful. Nothing that I was worried about Solas seeing... save one. A dream that I could still recall with perfect clarity, as if it were a real memory.

I sat at a cafe, like one in my world, sipping coffee from a white ceramic mug. Solas was seated across from me and drinking as well. I tapped my fingers on the table with my left hand, while holding the handle of the mug with the other. We were at a table outside, and it felt like a warm summer day. I don’t even think we talked, or at least I don’t remember any conversation, except for one little thing.

Solas put his cup down on the table and smiled at me. And then he placed his hand on top of mine, leaned towards me, and said, “I love you.” And the dream ended. That was it.

And when I woke up, I was happy, excited for a moment, until I realized it was a dream. And not only was it a dream, but a revelation of sorts. It showed me what I really wanted, what I desired... and that was for Solas to love me.

It should have been obvious that I wanted this, really. But the dream made it much more real because it showed me what I didn’t have.

And I couldn’t let that hobo know that.

We were riding beside each other on horseback when I ventured to ask about it. “Solas?”

“Yes?” He glanced at me from his horse.

I took a deep breath, eyeing him timidly. “What sorts of things did you see in my dreams?”

He frowned. “I… apologize for that, da’len.”

I sighed. “It’s really embarrassing, Solas. Imagine if I snuck into all of your dreams, learned all your secrets?” I said, staring at my horse’s mane.

“I know,” he said. “It was insensitive and wrong of me.”

I looked at him again. “So what did you see?”

Solas smiled, his expression warming as he remembered. “I saw you wandering a place with walls upon walls of brightly colored boxes... The place was so intensely lit, shining whiter than any fire I have ever seen.” He glanced back at the path ahead every so often as he spoke. “You pushed some sort of metal cart, and placed the boxes inside it.”

I furrowed my brow as I listened to his recollection, trying to figure out what he described. “I think you saw me in a grocery store,” I concluded.

“A grocery store?” he repeated, tilting his head in interest. “What is that?”

I smiled. “It’s a store where you can buy food to prepare. Like a market. Those boxes are probably pre-prepared food, though.”

Solas laughed. “Even in dreams, you are lazy.”

“I’m not lazy!” I said indignantly, wishing I was close enough to smack him.

He smiled. “I saw you with friends once. You were at a beach, laughing and swimming.” Solas stared ahead, recalling the memory. He turned his gaze back to me carefully when he said, “And I saw a man and woman demanding to know your future.” He creased his brow. “They questioned your plans, where you would work... But I ended the dream as soon as I realized how much it distressed you.”

“You ended it?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He looked at the path ahead again. “I spun you a new dream, where you were learning to ride a horse in Skyhold instead.”

“Why that?” I angled my head curiously.

Solas smiled. “Because I knew you enjoyed it.”

“Oh... well, thank you,” I said, my face feeling warm.

“I dislike seeing you upset,” he said, keeping his eyes forward. “And I will never enter your dreams again, if you wish,” he added quietly.

I nodded. “Sorry, Solas... I’m just too uncomfortable with it.”

“I understand.” Solas studied me, his face completely serious. “But… please know that I would never judge you by your dreams. Not when you have no control over them.”

Somehow I still doubted that, but it was nice of him to say. “Well... even so, I still don’t want you seeing them.” I looked at the path ahead.

He nodded.

I smiled, shaking my head a little, and glanced back at him. “There are things I’d like to show you, though.”

He returned a grin. “And I am certain I’d enjoy them.”

I didn’t say anything else after that, thinking about what I would show him. What did Solas need to see from my world?

* * *

We finally reached the Hinterlands by nightfall. Our group stayed at the Forest Camp, and the Requisition Officer observed me curiously, but didn’t ask any questions.

There were two tents to share, and it was then that I realized how awkward it was that I was with only men. When the four of us had been traveling, we had all slept side-by-side, and no discomfort was ever had. So when Varric had gone to bed, choosing the first tent, I whispered to Solas, “Can we sleep in the same tent, hahren?”

“Of course, da’len,” he answered.

I smiled. “Okay, I’m going to bed then.” I nodded to Iron Bull, who gave me a sly grin. What’re ya thinking, perv?? I ducked into the second tent.

Once inside, I set my longbow and quiver on the ground. I removed my hunter coat, keeping on only my underclothing (which was pretty much like pajamas). I settled myself into one of the bedrolls, shifting around to try to find a comfortable position. Just like camping! I thought, trying to console myself and not think about the bugs... animals... bandits...

The noise of the tent flap opening behind me caused me to turn around in the roll. Solas came in, placing his staff on the ground near my bow. He was wearing his usual apostate gear for this journey. I watched as he removed his jacket, giant belt thing, wolfy necklace...

“Am I so entertaining?” he said, smiling at me as he met my stare. When Solas was down to his tunic and breeches, he laid himself in the roll beside mine.

“I’m really excited,” I said, thinking about tomorrow and ignoring his question.

“I am glad my undressing pleased you so,” he teased.

“That’s not what I meant!” I said, pulling my arm out of the covers to smack him. “I’ve never been to the Hinterlands.” IRL, that is.

He smiled sweetly at me, his bald head resting on his pillow. “The land itself is not so remarkable, however there are hints of history scattered across these parts that fascinate me.”

I smiled back at him. “Remnants of a thousand-year-old dream?” I asked, eyebrow in the air.

Solas chuckled softly. “If I am lucky.” What an old man.

“Are you going into the Fade tonight?” I wondered.

“Yes,” he said. “I travel it every night.”

“Mmm,” I hummed, rolling to my back. “Sounds nice.”

“It is,” he agreed.

I closed my eyes, thinking of what Solas might find in the Hinterlands Fade. This place was like the most boring area in DA: Inquisition. It just went on forever. Trees and bears and random bandits. Snoozeville.

I started to drift to sleep, tired from the day’s excursion. Horseback riding took a lot more energy than I realized.

“Anna?” Solas asked me faintly, bringing me back to consciousness.

“Hmmmm?” I mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Do you miss your home?” His voice was gentle.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to see him. He was still facing me, watching.

“Yes,” I answered honestly. “But not always... I like it here.” I smiled at him. “And I like spending time with you.”

Solas looked sad then, his features forming a slight frown. He reached out with his hand to touch my arm. He gently stroked my skin, before resting his hand on mine. A small smile spread across his face.

“I do, as well,” Solas said softly.

I smiled back at him and curled my fingers around his hand. I somehow fell asleep like that, even though there was a giant rock poking into my side. I was sure to be sore in the morning. Camping sucks. Well... most of it.

* * *

I strolled into an ice cream parlor, the bell on the door ringing. The shop had pink walls and pristine white floor tiles. I walked straight to all the colorful flavors, protected in a glass covering. There were plenty of options: rocky road, chocolate-strawberry swirl, bourbon vanilla... but I saw mint chocolate chip, and I knew I had to choose that one. My eyes moved up to the shop employee, and it was Solas. He had a little hat on his bald head and wore a pink apron over a white collared shirt. He was smiling, looking eager with a scooper in hand.

I pointed to the mint chip, and he scooped some out on a cone for me. “Excellent choice,” Solas said, giving me a wink. I took the cone from him and licked it immediately. It tasted so good, cool and sweet, but the chocolate chips were too sharp, almost painful. It felt like teeth were raking against my tongue. I kept eating it anyway though, it hurt so good.

“Anna,” a voice said behind me. I turned around to see regular Solas, wearing what he always wore. And then I realized I couldn’t taste the ice cream at all, and I wasn’t even holding a cone.

“Solas?” I asked, confused by the situation.

“I have invaded your dreams again, da’len,” he said calmly, eyeing the other elf behind the counter. He looked back at me. “I will not do it again unless you ask, but you mentioned wanting to show me your realm.”

“Oh,” I said, realizing it was a dream. I glanced around the parlor. Can I still get more ice cream?

Solas continued to hold his gaze on me. “I understand you cannot control your dreams as I do, but you have been able to alter the Fade before...”

I nodded, looking back at him.

“Will you show me something of your world?” he asked, his eyes practically begging.

Maybe it was because I was in my dream-state, but for some reason I didn’t care that Solas had broken into my dream again. I stood there, considering his question, but only for a second, really.

“Okay.” I smiled and closed my eyes, thinking of something to show him.

When I opened them, the scene had changed, and we were standing in some snow, near the edge of a large lake. It was nighttime, but there were bright colorful lights in the sky.

“What is this?” Solas asked, staring at the colors. “Is there a breach in your sky? Is that how you came to Thedas? Through a breach in your world?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No, it’s aurora borealis. It happens naturally in my world,” I explained. “Although, not where I live,” I added.

Solas took a step towards the lights, wanting to see them closer. “It’s incredible,” he remarked. The colors danced reflections in his eyes.

“I’ve never actually seen them in reality,” I said quietly. “Only recordings... but I’d like to see them someday.” I laughed, looking at a very-real version now. “The Fade is amazing, really.”

The lights shifted from purples to greens, pinks and yellows. They were probably moving faster than they were supposed to, most likely a result of my imagination. Stars glowed dimly behind them, and the lights changed to blues and teals. It looked alive, like spirits moving along the night sky.

“They are beautiful,” Solas said, and he tenderly took my hand in his, still looking up. His fingers were warm.

“We call them the Northern Lights. It occurs in certain parts of our atmosphere,” I said, still watching the sky.

He squeezed my hand gently. “Thank you for showing me them, Anna.”

“I always thought the Breach kinda looked like this,” I explained. “But these lights aren’t dangerous. And people even journey far to see them.”

“If only our Breach was so,” he remarked sadly, still gazing at the glimmering colors.

I shrugged, glancing at him. “Yeah, but then it wouldn’t have united so many people into fighting against it. The Inquisition wouldn’t exist.”

His thumb lightly stroked my hand, his eyes on the sky. “There are far less deadly ways to unite people.”

“Not as effectively, though,” I said. I focused on the glistening lights again. “It always takes a tragedy to get people to really think, to see the problems within their society.”

“Why did you show me this, Anna?” Solas asked, gaze still on the aurora.

“I’m not really sure,” I answered truthfully. “I guess to show you... there’s always beauty to be found, even when the world is so dark, and hopeless.” I swallowed. “When you feel like you can’t escape it… There’s light somewhere. You just need to take the time to find it.”

Solas turned to me, standing in my view with the lights shimmering behind him. “You are so... positive. It astounds me.” He looked deeply into my eyes. “Is everyone from your world like you?”

“I don’t know, not really,” I said, shrugging. “But I wouldn’t say I’m unique or anything. There are so many of us...”

“But you are unique, Anna,” he said softly, touching his hand to my cheek. “I have never met anyone like you.”

I blinked up at him. “That’s probably because you never give anyone the chance to really know them.”

Solas smiled. “I’m glad I did for you.”

I smiled back, but then he and the whole scene dissolved into blackness.

* * *

I woke up naturally, the morning light seeping in through the seams of the tent. I realized I was still holding Solas’s hand in real life and my heart leapt a little, butterflies flitting in my stomach. He was sleeping peacefully beside me, although now lying on his back.

I lightly thumbed his fingers, my hand thrilled by the touch. I stared at his profile, the angular way his cheekbones gently curved into his chin... his lips... Dammit, I thought. I'm staring at his lips again.

They parted slightly as I watched, and the movement mesmerized me. Was he still watching the Northern Lights? Or did it just disappear when I woke up?

Whatever his dream was, it soon ended, as he slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, registering his surroundings. Solas turned his head towards mine. His expression warmed into a half smile. “Good morning,” he whispered.

He likes spending time with me, I thought, remembering last night. He’s glad he met me.

I felt my cheeks warm as he gazed upon me, his eyes following the shapes of my face. He removed his hand from mine and lifted it towards me, brushing some hair away from my eyes. I still didn’t say anything and started holding my breath.

He moved his hand to the back of my head, gently stroking my hair. It stopped, resting itself there, until I realized he was slowly pulling, drawing me nearer to him.

I found myself unconsciously moving as well, inching closer to his body. His eyes were locked with mine, hypnotizing and transfixing me to him. Soon we were only a breath apart, and I could feel his warmth against my skin. “Solas,” I let out in a barely audible moan.

Then suddenly there was a loud noise, breaking the spell between us. “Are we gonna get this show on the road or what?!” I heard Varric’s husky voice outside say.

Solas jerked his body backward, letting go of my face. “We slept too long,” he said. He quickly got up, gathered his things, and exited the tent without another word, leaving me alone.

I sat up, taking deep breaths as I tried to calm down from what had just happened.

Which, in reality, was practically nothing, especially to an elf-god, right? I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the nervousness and excitement I was feeling. It seemed I was quite taken by the Dread Wolf.

Chapter Text

I hurried to get myself ready, putting on my coat, bow, and quiver of arrows. When I opened the tent flap, I saw my companions standing near our mounts, ready to go and waiting for me. “Come on, Sleepy!” Varric said.

“Sorry!” I said, rushing over. The dwarf handed me the reins to my horse. I stole a glance at Solas, but he was already on his mount, looking out into the distance.

The moment I was on my mare and ready, the mission became nonstop, with Solas leading us through the Hinterlands to the nearest artifact. As we rode, my eyes constantly burned into that elf’s head. Did that really happen this morning? I almost kissed an elven god. Solas. Fen’Harel.

I wanted to ask him about it, but bringing it up felt beyond embarrassing—for both of us. And besides, what if he wasn’t trying to kiss me at all? What if I had just imagined it? It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I had misread a situation.

And I also couldn’t help thinking... was he still hurting about Lavellan?

We stopped riding when we reached Redcliffe Farms and tethered our horses to a fence. Solas walked us to an abandoned house, sensing the presence of the ancient artifact. Once inside, he performed some magic on the vessel to bring it back to life.

“The Veil should be stronger now,” he remarked, staring at the now-glowing object.

I gazed at the elven artifact in wonder. “So cool,” I said quietly, bending closer to examine the orb. I perked up and looked at Solas. “How do you sense these things, anyway?”

Solas’s eyes shifted quickly to the others, making me realize that it must be some ancient elvhen capability. I mouthed sorry to him, but he shook his head and responded, “It pulls at the Veil, an emptiness that feels misplaced.”

I nodded. “I wish I could feel it, too.”

“It requires very specific abilities, da’len,” he replied, glancing at our companions outside the house.

“Yeah, I figured,” I said, indifferently. Sigh. I would never have any magic like Solas or Lavellan. I turned to leave the building to join Varric and Bull.

“Anna, wait,” Solas said, tugging at my coat.

I spun around, raising an eyebrow and holding my breath.

“I... I thought...” he trailed off, his eyes searching my face for something. He seemed almost pained.

“Looks like the orby thing is working,” Bull interrupted behind us. “Can we go? I’m itching to hunt some assholes.” Like Dorian’s? Snort.

I turned my attention back to Solas, who still wasn’t finishing his sentence. The wolf had been acting strange since this morning, avoiding eye contact with me when possible. It was like he had made a mistake in that tent earlier, and now I felt foolish for thinking anything more of it.

I stood there, waiting for him to speak. His brow only furrowed, and Solas swallowed, looking down at me with heavy unease. You regret it. He didn’t need to explain.

I walked past him to join the others, leaving the speechless hobo.

We continued on, riding towards Lornan’s Exile, with Solas in the lead. I rode slowest in the group and trailed behind the others. I wasn’t that great at horseback riding, as new to it as I was.

The Hinterlands looked exactly like it did in the game, and I found it funny how well I remembered the map. I had spent so many hours in this place, especially the first time I’d ever played, attempting to complete every quest that came my way. I knew precisely where Solas was bringing us. So well, in fact, I could have easily guided the group myself (and probably faster, although I wasn’t sure how well real horses could handle cliff drops...).

Solas was pretty much ignoring me, either brushing off my conversation with curt answers or not even answering at all. It made me feel stupid and shitty. Especially after what we had been through together last night... It'd been so nice.

And I was equally annoyed at myself for being so depressed over it. He’s a fucking video game character, I derided myself over and over again. I shouldn’t even be doing any of this. I should be focusing on getting the hell out of here!

Iron Bull fell behind to ride by my side. “You okay?” he asked, tilting his horny head (pfft).

I shrugged. “Yeah, why?” A ram caught my attention as we galloped along, fleeing the scene as we neared it.

“You seem a bit... quieter than normal,” he said, observing me.

I shrugged again. “The Hinterlands are kinda boring,” I said nonchalantly. “I was hoping for more excitement, I guess.”

“Ah,” Bull said, smiling. “Did something happen between you and the apostate?”

My eyes darted to the Qunari. “No!” I said quickly, and probably too loudly. “Why would you ask that??”

Iron Bull chuckled. “Spy, remember?” he said, pointing to himself.

“Well, I can see why they kicked you out,” I said smiling (and hoping he wouldn’t be all butt-hurt about referencing his Tal-Vashoth status), “because you’re really bad at it.”

Bull laughed again. “You keep telling yourself that, kid.”

We soon arrived at the fortress. The Winterwatch Tower was huge, with tall stone walls that had partially decayed away. We dismounted and left our horses outside the keep.

The place was full of cultists, all talking amongst themselves. Andraste, Maker, your word be done! They were saying all sorts of cult-y things.

As we entered the gate, I pulled on Solas’s coat, glancing at the far end of the fortress. “Is there still a rift here?” I asked him.

Solas shook his head. “No, it has been closed.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Then why didn’t you activate the artifact then??” Waste of time, imo.

The elf huffed in annoyance. “It is not always so discernible.”

“Some god you are.” What a noob. Everyone knows you need to check out the whole area before leaving!

“Da’len, please,” he said, eyeing our companions cautiously.

I rolled my eyes and walked off, observing the giant Andraste statue instead. Laughter caught my attention and I noticed some cultists on a balcony, drinking wine. Ohhh, that's right! There was a pub here, or something like it at least.

Solas sensed the artifact somewhere on the upper level, though, and led our gang throughout the fortress. He started climbing up a ladder, and the others followed, but I stopped at the bottom. No way am I doing that.

The ladder was huge and tall and perfectly vertical, and I was definitely not confident in climbing it. I would probably be fine, but it wasn’t like I had to be present to turn the stupid artifact on. That hobo could do it perfectly well by himself. “I’m just gonna go to the tavern instead!” I called to my companions, who were all almost up the ladder.

“If you do not want to climb, then remain where you are until we return,” Solas suggested from above me.

“Nah, I’ll be fine! I’ll just be over there...” I walked off before waiting for a response. As I made my way over, I saw a little bag on the floor with coins spilling out of it. Siiiick! So people really do leave their money lying around! I scooped up the loot and waltzed my way over, proud over my sudden accruement of some unfortunate person’s gold.

The keep’s tavern was bustling with robed people. “Walk with the Maker,” they kept whispering to me continuously.

“Uh, thanks?” I replied. I made my way up the stairs to the upper level, since it had a nicer view. One of the tables was mostly empty, so I poured myself a glass of wine. (It seemed like a free-for-all, much to my delight—Guess the cult life wasn't too bad!) I sat down at a chair on the end.

I sipped the wine and marveled at how pleasant the beverage tasted. I examined the wine bottle: Vint-9 Rowan’s Rose. The good stuff. Nice.

I started drinking a little faster since the taste was so much more pleasing than the ale Cabot usually served. What’re you trying to pull, ya cheap dwarf??

My mind wandered to Solas, wondering what he thought of me. I was probably overreacting, right? He was just really, really (unnecessarily) focused on those elven artifacts. Nothing had changed between us... right?

But it was unusual for him to avoid me so pointedly—enough so that even Bull had noticed. Solas hadn’t done that to me since just after his breakup with Lavellan… And it’d been months since then.

Stupid hobo-god! I rubbed my temples with my fingers. I’m in a video game, I kept reminding myself. I can’t forget that.

Although... what if I never did leave... and this was just my life now... forever... What would be so wrong with dating a few-thousand-year-old elf?

Everything. Fucking everything. I’m such a freak.

A person at the other end of the table sighed. “You waiting for someone, too?” he asked me.

I looked up. He was a cultist, wearing the velvety, decorated robes they all seemed to sport. “Not exactly,” I answered, thinking of the baldy.

The man moved to a seat closer to me. “I’m waiting for my lover, Vellina. Have you heard any word of her?” he asked desperately. Oh, I thought. This dude. The “Love Waits” quest guy.

I shook my head, feeling sorry for him. “Sorry, I haven’t.”

He smiled bitterly. “It was worth an ask.” He looked me in the eye. “I am Berand.”

I nodded. “Anna,” I said, gesturing to myself. This poor guy seemed so sad... “Have you been waiting a long time for her?” I asked.

Berand nodded, taking a drink. “Yes,” he said quietly. “Months now.”

Months?! “That’s awful,” I commiserated. The Inquisitor should hurry up and finish these side quests, already!

“I keep wondering... is she alive? Is she captured? Did she just flee with someone else?” he said in an anguished voice.

I wondered if I should tell him that she was really just dead, but I doubted I could properly handle his grief. He had been waiting so long for her... and only to discover she was dead all along? Such a sad story.

“Things don’t always work out the way we hoped,” I said simply, trying to ease him a little.

Berand nodded, resting his cheek on his hand. “I always felt so blessed that she loved me. That she chose me,” he said.

I smiled softly at him. “She probably doesn’t mean to keep you waiting. I’m sure there’s a good reason,” I said in an attempt to comfort him.

He shrugged. “Perhaps...” he took another sip. “Or maybe she just doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe she never did,” he said into his glass.

I was about to respond, when a bald head bobbing up the stairs alerted my attention. Solas was walking up, along with Varric and Bull. “Oh,” I said to Berand. “That’s who I was waiting for, so...”

He nodded. “At least he came for you.” Berand got up and left, all depressed. Such a downer.

“Since we’re here,” Bull said when he got to my table, “let’s have a drink!” Varric nodded, agreeing enthusiastically.

“I do not believe that would be wise. We must—” Solas argued.

“Just one, Chuckles!” Varric said, clapping Solas on the back. He and Iron Bull poured themselves some wine, settling into my table.

Solas rubbed his neck, obviously disagreeing with the decision. He sighed and sat next to me. “What are you drinking, da’len?” he asked me casually.

I didn’t answer, but got up and walked over to the balcony, ignoring him. After talking to Berand, I felt like being alone. I leaned on the balcony, my arms resting on the railing. I had taken my glass with me, but it was almost empty. I sighed.

Lavellan and Solas were meant to be together. I had to remember that. Even if I’d created her... controlled her..... made all the decisions for her that Solas so admired........

“Are you upset with me?” Solas asked, appearing at my side.

“No,” I said, voice quiet and indignant. I gazed out into the courtyard. The cultists were all bowing and praying to the statue of Andraste.

“Then what is it?” he pried, gently touching my elbow. The contact electrified my body.

Did Solas really not know? Was it all in my head? I swallowed, trying to calm myself. “I’m worried,” I said, closing my eyes briefly. I turned towards him, looking up at his face. “What if I never go home?”

Solas seemed very troubled by my statement. His brow came together, and his mouth tugged down into a frown. He squeezed my arm, pulling me towards him. Ever so slightly. I tried to ignore it.

“I will help you find a way,” he consoled, softly rubbing my arm. Did he always touch me this much???

“Thanks,” I said coldly, looking back towards the courtyard. I knew he could sympathize with losing one’s home, so his pity was expected. Nothing special.

“Anna,” he said apprehensively, “perhaps it is better if you stay in the Requisition Officer’s tent tonight—She is also human, so you may be more comfortable.”

My face flushed a violent red. “You’re the only one I feel comfortable with, hahren.”

Solas raised an eyebrow. “Are you certain? I thought it more agreeable—”

“Fine!” I said in a low, angry voice. “If you want to get rid of me that bad, I’ll stay in the other tent!” I stormed off, ripping my arm from his grasp. I felt hot with embarrassment as I rushed away from him as fast as possible. I marched my way all the way downstairs and headed to the mounts.

Fuck that wolf.

Chapter Text

I didn’t wait for or even glance back at my companions. I hurried off to my mare, mounting and riding back to the nearest camp (Dwarfson’s Pass). No one needed to show me the way—I had played that many hours in the Hinterlands.

When I finally reached the camp, the Requisition Officer looked at me oddly. “Uh, hello, miss?” she greeted, clearly perplexed at who I was. “Are you with the Inquisition?”

I sighed, frustrated. “Yes, my name’s Anna, and I’m helping the Inquisition.”

The officer still had this look of confusion on her face. “I have the second sight,” I told her, exacerbated.

She raised an eyebrow. “I see,” she replied. “I just thought you were an archer.”

I laughed awkwardly, remembering the bow and quiver hanging from my back. I guess it would be easier to say that from now on. “Second sight” was a little weird.

I removed my gear, stretching a bit from the absence of my medium armor. Leaving my coat and bow on the ground near a tent, I walked out of some nearby ruined stone arch, continuing on until I came to a clearing surrounded by rocks.

The breeze was cool against my skin, and without my armor, it felt chilly. I hate this place. Why had I thought coming out here would be a good idea?

I sat down in the tall grass and pressed my back to a large rock’s mossy surface. Stupid Solas. It felt like he had rejected me, even though there was technically nothing to reject. Sigh. Unrequited feelings. When had my life become so dramatic?

I heard horses galloping nearby and familiar voices in discussion, soon followed by footsteps behind me. I closed my eyes, willing myself away to the Fade. But I was no elf-god. Sadly, I had no such ability.

“Anna,” Solas said softly, kneeling at my side. “Don’t ever do that again,” he scolded. “If you must run off, at least take someone with you.”

I brought my knees to my head, burying my face in them. “What do you care?” I said quietly to my pants.

“I care a great deal for your safety. You know this,” he told me, his voice annoyingly calm.

I exhaled noisily. “Why do you want to sleep separately now?” I asked, lifting my head.

He swallowed. “I… thought you might be uncomfortable after what happened.”

Had it not been only in my head? I sighed, and decided to just ask. “Because we almost kissed?”

Solas didn’t answer, but his eyes widened and he bit his lip.

“If you don’t want to kiss me, then just tell me, Solas. Tell me.” I looked away from him, out at the little valley below us.

“I did not say that.” His voice was so quiet, I barely heard it.

My breath caught. I swallowed, turning my gaze towards his again. “Then… why are you ignoring me? Pretending like it never happened?”

“I…” Solas began. He glanced away from me. “I can’t, Anna. My duty—My people need me.” He sighed. “I have told you this.”

“But you would?” I asked, hopeful. “If it wasn’t for your duty?”

His brow drew together. “Please,” Solas said, “do not ask me that.”

Tears welled in my eyes. “Why?”

His expression changed then. His mouth formed a thin line, face turning grim as he met my gaze again. “I think we should spend some time apart from each other.”

“Solas—” I tried to reach for his sleeve, but he stood up.

“I will arrange for you to sleep in the Requisition Officer’s tent,” Solas said before walking out of the clearing, leaving me to myself.

I buried my head in my knees again, fresh tears in my eyes. Apparently, there was something to reject after all.

* * *

Somehow, I had botched this game even worse than I’d thought possible. I had failed to keep Solas and Lavellan together, and then became so smitten with him myself that he literally had to break up with me, too. Except I didn’t even get a kiss out of it. Fuck!

The following morning we made our way back to Skyhold. I pointedly ignored Solas, just like he wanted. He didn’t say a word to me. Whatever, I’m totally cool. I don’t care at all... Not one single bit.

“Venatori,” Bull said during our journey, focusing ahead on some men coming into sight.

“Okay, Sleepy, stay here this time, all right?” Varric warned.

I nodded. “Will do.” I looked at the men they were about to pounce on. The Venatori were just chillin’, hanging out like friends. It made me feel kinda bad. Did they really have to fight them? I guess they’d attack regardless.

The dwarf, elf, and Qunari headed into battle, and I stayed out of the way as promised. I tied the horses to a skinny-ish tree, patting the animals on the sides. “We live the quiet life over here,” I told them.

Suddenly there was a hand over my mouth, and an arm across my shoulders, gripping me painfully tight. “Don’t move,” a deadly voice whispered into my ear. One of the Venatori.

A wave of terror and panic overtook my body, making me completely still. And that was before he used magic on me. He jolted lightning through his hands, causing my body to jerk straight from the shock. Ow. It wasn’t enough to kill, but it still hurt.

He started walking backward with me, away from the horses and the fight nearby. “Your friends are powerful,” the spellbinder whispered. “You might be my only chance to survive.”

Was I a hostage now?? This trip sucked to no end!

I awkwardly stepped backward with him, fumbling from his grasp. As we were backing away (to where? I didn’t know what this stupid fuck had in mind), I could see the skirmish, and my companions were nearly finished with the last Venatori fighter.

The three of them soon turned back in our direction, instantly noticing my capture. “She’ll die if you move!” the Venatori threatened.

I couldn’t say anything because he still had his gloved hand clasped to my mouth, but I clearly saw the group pause. I glanced at Solas, and he looked fucking pissed. His glare was venomous, the muscles tensing in his jaw.

In a shimmer he disappeared, and I heard something snap behind me. The man released his clutch, causing me to stumble to the ground. Solas helped me to my feet, and I looked at the Venatori. He was now lying dead on the ground, his head unnaturally twisting from his body. Ugh.

“Please be careful,” Solas said, bringing my attention from the dead guy. He was still holding the arm he had helped me up by, worry written all over his face.

“Thanks,” I said coldly, pulling my arm out of his reach. “But I was fine,” I lied.

“Anna, you could not have possibly—” he started, suddenly aggravated.

“Nice one, Chuckles,” Varric said uneasily, approaching us with Iron Bull in tow. “I’ve never seen you do that move before.”

“Yeah, Solas, you’re very... lethal with your hands,” Bull observed. “I thought you would have just zapped him or something.”

Solas didn’t say anything, and merely narrowed his eyes angrily at me. I walked to my horse, jumping back on it. “Can we get going?” I asked, staring at the road. The group all mounted. I didn’t speak for the rest of the day.

* * *

When we camped that night, we ate some weird Qunari stew that Bull insisted was the best dish ever made. (It wasn’t...) But he had worked so hard gathering the ingredients and cooking it for us, we all indulged.

“Da’len, may I have a word?” Solas asked me.

I didn’t answer, continuing to look down at my bowl, swirling my spoon around. It was a watery stew, with lots of various leaves floating around in it and bits of rabbit.

“I must speak with you, Anna,” Solas said impatiently.

“Then speak,” I said flatly, my eyes still fixed on the soup. I ventured another spoonful. Not tasting any better...

“I would rather converse privately,” he insisted.

“Well, I’m still eating,” I said, annoyed.

“Then I shall wait.”

I ate as slowly as possible, dragging out every mouthful and purposely chewing until it was practically liquid again. Solas sat beside me as he waited, glowing eyes watching the fire. I eventually finished, and as much as I pretended to continuously scrape the bottom of the bowl, Solas noticed and gestured for me to follow him.

I remained seated for a few moments before reluctantly walking after him. He led us a few paces away from the camp, just out of the others’ hearing. “What do you want?” I asked aggravatedly.

Solas stood there, face neutral, his arms behind his back. “You cannot continue to run off whenever you feel the impulse,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “That guy captured me, Solas! I didn’t run off.”

“You were careless,” he said. “And you still cannot defend yourself—”

“You think I’m so stupid, don’t you? Like I can’t handle myself at all!” My voice was getting louder with each word.

Solas shook his head. “That is not tr—” he began.

“I’m so sick of your shit, Solas!” I jabbed an accusatory finger at him. “Always hiding and running away and avoiding problems.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “What are you saying?”

“Oh, please!” I said, laughing sarcastically. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You never want to deal with things when they get complicated, you just leave.”

He shook his head confusedly. “Anna, you—”

“You left your people, you left Lavellan, and now you’re leaving me!” I shouted, not caring if the others heard me.

His eyes widened in disbelief. “You know that was—”

“Why do you care if I die, anyway?” I said, much quieter again. “I’ll probably just wake up in my own realm!”

“There is no proof of such a theory,” Solas said, shaking his head. “You cannot risk—”

“I can do whatever I want.” I crossed my arms. “And it’s none of your business.”

“Anna, please,” he said, voice dropping to nearly a whisper. “I only want you safe. I couldn’t forgive myself if you were harmed.”

“You’re too late,” I whimpered, turning away. “You’ve already hurt me.” I walked back to camp before he could answer.

* * *

The four of us arrived at Skyhold the next evening, with the sun nearly set. I had barely spoken the rest of the journey, and though I was sure Bull and Varric had noticed the tension between me and Solas, they had the decency not to mention it.

Once we returned, I headed straight for my room, but the First Enchanter stopped me along the way.

“A word, darling?” Vivienne asked the moment I had stepped into the grand hall.

“Oh, Vivienne? Um, sure...”

“Madame de Fer,” she corrected, and began striding somewhere for me to follow. Vivienne never tried to talk to me. (I was pretty sure she hated me.) What was this about?

Once we had reached her balcony, she turned to me. “Anna, dear, I am sure you know about my recent excursion with the Inquisitor to the Emprise du Lion.”

“Um... yes?” So?

“Have you heard about how our time went there?” Vivienne said, standing very upright with her hands clasped together at her stomach.

I shrugged, not caring. “I guess not? What happened?”

“It was... successful, for the most part,” the enchanter said uneasily. “However, we were very lucky. The Inquisitor nearly perished.”

“What?!” I asked, surprised.

Vivienne exhaled, her chin raised. “She behaved recklessly the entire time, throwing herself into battle whenever possible. It is a miracle that she still lives.”

“Oh, shit.”

She raised a brow. “I’m sure you are aware of why?”

“Uh...” Because she’s a crazy mofo when I’m not controlling her?

Vivienne tilted her head in a disbelieving sort of way. “Our elven apostate, dear?”

“Oh,” I said stupidly.

“And I know the two of you are close.” She eyed me carefully.

I looked out over the balcony. “I guess...” I said.

“Is there any way you may speak to him about this situation?” Vivienne suggested. “Have him talk to Inquisitor Lavellan about what happened?”

“Um... I don’t know...” I said, scratching my head awkwardly.

“The Inquisitor cannot fight this way with Corypheus,” she said, tone now impatient. “It is simply too dangerous, and the fate of the world depends upon it.”

I sighed. “Can’t you just talk to him instead?”

She laughed incredulously. “Anna, dear, you cannot be serious. Solas and I are on terrible terms.”

“Well... we aren’t exactly on good terms either,” I said, eyes towards the floor now.

Vivienne’s hands dropped to her sides, her patience reaching its limits. “This is not about you, Anna,” she chided. “This is about defeating that horrible magister and preventing another Breach. We need the Inquisitor at her best.”

I nodded. “Okay... I’ll try.” She’s right.

I left, but didn’t do as Vivienne had asked right away. Instead, I went to lie in my bed. Hot tears stained my pillow, but I eventually fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up, and it was pitch black in my room. I was starving. I tried to fall back asleep, but the hunger was killing me. I groaned and reluctantly sat up, rubbing my eyes and adjusting them to the darkness.

I left the room and meandered through the corridor, making my way to the main hall of Skyhold. There would probably still be food, right?

I had no idea how late it was, but as I didn’t see anyone else around, it must have been the middle of the night. I made it to the hall, and it still had candles lit and food out. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The room was almost empty, except for two people: Bull and Dorian. They waved me over when they noticed my presence. “Anna, it’s been a while!” Dorian exclaimed warmly.

I sat down across from the pair. “Hey,” I greeted. I grabbed a plate and started piling on the works.

“Bull tells me you haven’t been your usual cheery self of late,” Dorian said inquiringly.

“Oh really?” I asked, my mouth full of some random meat. Pheasant? What does pheasant even taste like?

“She’s upset about the apostate,” Iron Bull explained. I didn’t answer, just stared down at my food and chewed.

Dorian laughed. “Oh, Anna, sweet thing. You really should not concern yourself with that unwashed hobo.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumble-lied.

“He’s terribly unsocial, you know,” Dorian said, ignoring me. “Whatever he did, I’m sure he’s completely unaware.”

I continued to chew, still looking down.

“No, he knows,” Bull corrected, biting into an apple. “But you still shouldn’t care, kid.”

I sighed. “I just don’t get him. He’s so hot and cold.

Dorian raised an eyebrow. “Really? I’ve only ever seen the cold.”

“He’s different when Anna's around,” Bull said. “More talkative. Smiley.”

“Is he now?” Dorian said, an intrigued grin forming on his mouth.

I shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. He told me not to talk to him. Said he wants some ‘time apart.’” My lip quivered at the thought.

“He told you that?” Dorian asked, surprised.

“Yep.”

“He doesn’t mean it,” Iron Bull said, nonchalant.

I glared at the Qunari. Solas definitely meant it. It was like a shittier version of the Crestwood breakup, but he hadn’t even touched my butt.

“He doesn’t,” Bull said, shrugging. “It’s written all over him.”

I sighed. “It’s fine, I don’t care,” I lied.

Dorian and Bull exchanged a look. “Well, Anna,” Dorian said, “though I have never understood your fondness for him, I am sorry nonetheless.”

“Thanks, Dorian.” I finished the remains of my plate and stood. “I’ll see you guys around.”

I left the two and went outside. I needed some fresh air. I descended the steps slowly, the cool breeze feeling nice against my skin. The moons were only slivers tonight, and the torches outside were nearly burnt out, making it eerily dark. Skyhold felt almost abandoned like this.

I continued my way down, taking each step carefully. When I reached the bottom, I glanced around the courtyard, but my body froze when I saw two white pointy-eared heads with glimmering eyes sitting on a bench across the yard.

I squinted to see it was Solas and Lavellan, talking softly to each other. I held my breath as I observed how close they sat, and soon they were... hugging.

My stomach twisted. It was like the whole world came crashing down, completing a riddle I had never wanted to finish. I turned on my heel and quietly hurried away.

Right. Of course. Lavellan. Her... it was always going to be her. How could I ever think any differently?

Once I was safely out of the courtyard, I strode a little faster, practically running. My vision started to blur from tears, even though I knew I had no right to cry. This is stupid. This is what I wanted!

I had finally done it. I had reunited the two of them. I had avenged all the broken hearts in the world! I should have been jumping for joy at achieving such an impossible feat.

But all I felt was pain.

Chapter Text

“Cassandra, can I hit stuff with you?” I asked the Seeker, approaching her and the dummies in the Skyhold courtyard.

She turned around, lowering her sword. “You wish to learn sword combat?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, if it means I can hit stuff.”

She nodded, pleased with my interest in learning more defense. “Take this,” Cassandra said, handing me a weapon. She showed me how to hold it.

I held the sword like she suggested and swung at the dummy. Stupid. Fucking. Egg, I thought with each swing.

Cassandra observed me hitting for a while. “Have you read the latest Swords & Shields?” she asked eventually (in a noticeably quieter voice than before).

I sighed. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, Cassandra. I haven’t had the chance to catch up.”

She nodded, glancing around cautiously. “It is... very good,” she whispered. “I highly recommend it.”

I smiled. “Are they finally together?” I asked, pausing my swinging to look at her.

Cassandra laughed. “I will not tell you that!” She whacked her own dummy. “You must find out for yourself.”

I smiled a little, loosening my grip on the sword. I looked down at it and sighed. “Have you ever been in love?”

She stopped hitting her target to turn to me. “Yes,” she answered. “A mage. He died at the Conclave.”

“Oh,” I said, turning my gaze to her. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded. “Such things happen in times of war,” she said sadly, her mouth twitching a little.

“Mmmm.” Living in a video game sucks. Anyone could die so easily.

The Seeker looked at her dummy again. “Was there a... particular reason you asked, Anna?” Cassandra carefully inquired.

“No, no reason,” I answered in a quiet, slightly shaky voice. I’m not gonna cry…

Cassandra raised an eyebrow. “I see,” she said. “I have noticed things, you know.”

I swallowed, preparing for the worst. I focused my gaze on the stuffed head of the target.

“Real love is not like the stories,” she said softly. “It takes work, and time.”

I stared down at my sword again and asked, “And what about one-sided love? What do you do about that?” I anchored the tip of the sword to the ground and spun the hilt in my hands.

“If you truly love a person, you must accept what brings them happiness, even if it is not you,” she said, watching me spin the sword uneasily.

My hands paused, looking up at the Seeker. “So you just accept it, then? That’s all you can do?”

“You cannot force yourself to stop loving a person, but you may learn from it,” she said, gazing tenderly into my eyes. “It can teach you about yourself, and you may grow.”

What did I have to learn? Not to fall for a video game character?!

I tried my best to smile. “Thanks, Cassandra.”

She nodded. “You may not be a fighter on the battlefield, but you are a fighter in the heart,” she said kindly.

I smiled at her words. “You really should consider writing your own stories, you know.”

Cassandra blushed a little. “Oh, no... I could not... That would require... No.”

I laughed. “Well, you helped me, anyway. It was good to talk to you.”

She smiled, one corner of her mouth lifting higher than the other. “I hope you finish Swords & Shields soon. It may be more helpful to you than you think.”

I smiled. “Thanks for letting me hit stuff.”

Cassandra nodded, still smiling. “Anytime.”

I leaned the sword against a dummy and walked away. It had been a week since I saw Lavellan and Solas together, and I hadn’t talked to either of them since. I hadn’t actually talked to anyone, really. But today I had decided to venture outside my room (for something other than food).

I roamed around Skyhold, observing the familiar bustle of Inquisition agents going about their day. Many had been gossiping the last week about the Inquisitor’s improved demeanor, which had only confirmed the Solavellan reunion more for me.

I couldn’t believe I’d done the impossible in reuniting them. One almost-kiss from me was all it took for them to get back together! I should have tried to seduce him sooner. Ha. Perhaps then I wouldn’t feel like my heart had been broken a million times over.

What was I even thinking? They had a goddamn ship name. And he called me “little child.” Sigh.

But perhaps it was for the best, anyway. I wasn’t meant to be here, and the game story was almost over. I needed to prepare for what that could entail. Whether I was sent back to my world, or stuck here permanently.

I was walking along the battlements when I finally found Cullen, who was leaving his office.

“Anna, what a surprise,” he said warmly. “I was just on my way to meet with the Inquisitor.”

“Oh yeah? Going to talk tactics or something?”

He cleared his throat. “Ah—yes. Something of the sort.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I said. “Do you have, like, any odd jobs or something that I could do? Maybe something to help with your workload?”

Cullen straightened in surprise. “You—you want to help me?”

“Why not?” I shrugged. “I know you’re always busy, and well… I’m never busy, so I’d like to help out if I can.”

His mouth stretched into a smile. “That is very kind of you,” the Commander said. “I will try to think of a task.”

“Okay, just let me know.” I smiled. He nodded and went on his way. I already felt a little better from the exchange. Since this could be my life here forever, it’d be good to get some actual work experience at the Inquisition.

Maybe what I needed to learn from all this was not to sit on my ass all day. I had probably been transported into this game for a reason, right? This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I wasn’t taking advantage of it in the least!

As I gallivanted back to my room through the endless halls of Skyhold, I pondered what tasks the Commander would assign me. Hopefully, Cullen would give me more to do than, like, delivering messages or something. I grinned, wondering if they’d issue me the same outfit all the scouts wore.

I was actually getting a little excited at the prospect of wearing that weird hood-helmet, when a certain hobo-sighting halted me in my tracks.

Solas was in the hallway. Waiting outside my room. “Anna,” he said at my arrival.

“What are you doing here?”

“I would like to speak with you,” he said.

“Um, all right,” I said, feeling my cheeks warm as I opened the door for him to enter. What could he possibly have to say?

I sat down at the table in my room, and he joined me there, looking calm and collected. For some reason, seeing him sit there all perfectly normal really struck a nerve. Acting as if he hadn’t shattered my heart and turned my world upside down.

“Well, what is it, Mr. ‘I need some time apart’?” I said after a moment of silence. “I’m actually doing what you asked, you know. I’m not bothering you anymore.”

Solas sighed, frowning. “Anna, you were never a bother.”

I gave him a look.

“... Most of the time,” he added.

“Is this about you and the Inquisitor?” I asked. “Because I already know, so you don’t have to tell me.”

“You do?” Solas asked, sitting straighter and angling his head curiously. “How?”

“I saw you two together. She looked… happy.”

His brow scrunched, and he fell back into his seat again, scratching his cheek. “I see.”

“So was that what you came here for?”

“Well… in a way, yes,” Solas said. He shifted in his chair, tugging at the high collar of his tunic. He seemed to be losing confidence in this conversation the longer he sat there, much to my vengeful delight. “I wished to say that it was you who inspired me to speak with her at all.”

Oh god. He was actually confirming my worst fears. We didn’t even actually kiss, and he was like half-asleep anyway! Somehow this conversation was going to be even more terrible than I thought. “Me?” I gulped.

“Yes,” he said. “Your honest words in the Hinterlands—how I only run from my issues—made me realize I needed to be truthful with her.” He carefully met my gaze. “Upon further reflection, I found I had no reason for withholding a better explanation. One that she could move on from.”

My ears perked at the last part. “Move on from? What do you mean?”

Solas tilted his head. “So she may have closure. About us.”

“Wait, so… you’re not back together?” I asked, realization dawning on me.

“No—the Inquisitor and I are not together. Is that what you assumed?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “Because she’s been so much happier lately. Everyone’s talking about it.”

His cheeks turned ever-so-slightly pink. “Well… we are not.”

Whoops. “Sorry, hahren, that’s, um—I mean I’m sure she’s not that happy,” I said quickly.

“It is fine,” he said, looking down. “I am fine. She understands now, and we aren’t—we will never be together again.”

“Why are you so sure?” I asked softly, a twinge of pain in my chest at his words.

Solas swallowed. “Because I must leave after Corypheus is defeated. And she knows this now.” His eyes met mine again, scrutinizing me. “Do you wish we were together again?”

The question stunned me. Because I... did. They were the greatest romance of this age. They were meant to be together. And me? I was just some rando who had landed here accidentally. I wasn’t supposed to want him for myself. I wasn’t supposed to be here at all.

“I want you to be happy, Solas,” I answered eventually. “You were so happy together.”

He smiled sadly. “I believe that time has long since passed.”

I stayed quiet for a moment. “Well, thanks for telling me.”

“That isn’t all I have to say,” Solas said, taking a breath. “I also came to tell you that—that my words were perhaps too severe. I… I don’t think we need to spend time apart. Not with how little we have left together.”

I swallowed, meeting his blue eyes. “Really?”

“Yes,” he said, gazing at me. “Anna, you are my closest friend here, and I… I am sorry. I should not have dismissed you so readily. It was completely unwarranted.”

“It really hurt my feelings,” I said, staring down into my lap.

“I know,” he replied quietly. “Please forgive my behavior.”

“I forgive you,” I said. “I know I was kind of… erratic in the Hinterlands. And you were just trying to look out for me.”

“You had me very worried.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” I said.

“You are forgiven.”

I met his gaze once more. “So I guess… we’re friends again?”

“Yes, if you are willing,” he said, and my chest already felt lighter. I took a deep breath.

“Of course, I am.” One corner of my mouth lifted. I stood, stepping the short distance towards him, and he rose from his own seat at the movement. “I missed you,” I said, reaching out my arms. Solas met my embrace.

“I missed you, Anna,” he murmured into my hair, holding me.

“I’m glad you talked to me.” I pulled away, smiling at him. “I get lonely without you.”

Solas smiled, glancing down. His cheeks had turned a little pink again, and he played with the edge of his sleeve.

I stared at him, wondering if I should bring up that almost-kiss. He had, as usual, danced around the issue, which probably meant he didn’t want to talk about it. And honestly, his words were such a relief that I didn’t care. I was ecstatic to just be his friend again.

So I moved on instead, changing the subject.

“Well,” I said, “I was about to wash some laundry. But if you happen to know a spell to make my clothes clean, I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

Solas exhaled a laugh, and his mouth twisted, a small smile forming. “You are abusing my friendship, da’len.”

I shrugged. “You’re the one who wanted to be friends again,” I said, grinning at him.

He smiled fondly, his hand already glowing with the spell.

Chapter Text

The Inquisitor had left for the Arbor Wilds, taking Blackwall, Cole, and Dorian. Although Solas had somewhat mended their relationship, apparently it was not enough for her to take him along.

Solas and I returned to our regular rhythm, though he never brought up what happened in that tent in the Hinterlands. It saddened me, of course, but I was happy enough to be as we were again. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left, anyway. If the game ended, would I finally wake up?

It clenched at my heart more than I wanted to admit. I shouldn’t be this attached to a game, I shouldn’t want to stay in it. My life in the other world was reality—not Thedas, not the companions. Not Solas.

Life back home had only been starting, really. I was in the final semester of school, planning to get my first real professional job soon. (Whatever the hell that might be. I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to do for a living.)

And instead, I was what? Playing around in a fantasy game like some kid? It was shameful, really. The closer we got to the end of the DA:I story, the more this anxiety about returning grew. So much so that Solas noticed.

“What is on your mind, Anna?”

“Nothing,” I answered. We were both in the rotunda. I was on the sofa, my boots propped up on the armrest, which Solas had given up on reprimanding me for. (He was too dramatic—It wasn’t like I put the dirty parts on the fabric.)

Solas arched a brow. “Are you certain?”

I sighed. “We’ll be facing off with Corypheus soon. I’m nervous about it.” I had already told Solas about the Temple of Sacred Ashes, where the last battle would be held, to prep him as much as possible about his orb.

“You will be safe in Skyhold,” he said, attempting to reassure me.

I rolled my eyes. “If I stay here.” It had been a point of contention for us. He was determined to stop me from joining the Inquisitor in her final fight, and I was dead-set on going.

His mouth pinched in disapproval.

“We’re getting to the end of my foresight, Solas,” I continued. “I don’t know what will happen to me after that.”

“You think the Inquisition will discard you?” Solas gave me a pitying smile. “Da’len, I believe the Inquisitor has already accepted how little you are able to help her. But you are still a part of this organization, even without your knowledge of the future.”

“I help sometimes,” I said, indignant.

He smirked at me. “Such memories must elude me.”

“Shut up,” I said, wishing I had something to toss at his smug face. “I’m being serious, okay? I’ve been wondering… what if I’m suddenly transported home once the end of my knowledge has stopped?”

Solas frowned. “You think that is possible?”

I shrugged. “Why not? It’s not like it made any sense how I came here in the first place.”

“True.” His brow furrowed in concern. He examined me, still frowning. “So you may not have much time left here.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“Is there anything you wish to do in the time that remains?”

I swallowed, meeting his gaze. You. “I’m not sure,” I replied.

Solas looked away from me. “I… cannot travel far—not with Corypheus’s impending attack—but if there is somewhere nearby that you would like to visit, I could take you.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Yes,” he said. “As a farewell to you, da’len.”

My breath caught, a sudden sadness clutching at my chest. A farewell. I’d never see him again. Or not exactly, not like this. I’d be back to only seeing him on a screen.

Solas stood from his desk and walked over to me. He crouched beside the sofa so our eyes could be level with one another’s. “What would you like?” he asked softly.

“I just want to spend time with you.” My voice was nearly a whisper.

“Very well.” Solas reached for my hand on the sofa and gave it a squeeze. “If something else comes to mind, tell me.” He stood and turned away.

Truthfully, there were a lot of places I still wanted to see in Thedas. Nevarra, Tevinter, the Arlathan forest… But nowhere easy to travel to. And I knew Solas would never take me somewhere so distant. It touched my heart that he’d want to do anything at all for me, though.

I knew he cared about me, that he didn’t want me to die. But I also knew how worried he was about the battle with Corypheus, and the possible breakage of his orb. He shouldn’t waste his time worrying about me.

* * *

I ended up suggesting we go for a hike outside of Skyhold, since we were always cooped up in the castle. Solas knew of a river nearby, so he led me to it.

He was very quiet as we walked, a hunch in his posture. Solas usually liked to admire the scenery, which was why I had chosen this activity in the first place, but he kept his eyes on the ground, only glancing ahead of him when necessary. A melancholy seeped out of him, affecting my own mood in turn. This excursion had a sense of finality to it, like everything was coming to an end. And what had I accomplished? Nothing. Zip.

Solas brought us to a smattering of trees beside the water. The river was completely frozen, probably firm enough to ice-skate on, and for a moment I wished we could skate on it. I pictured the two of us gliding along the ice, holding hands and laughing… Sigh. He'd likely be good at skating, too, knowing how annoyingly skilled he was at everything.

Solas drew a glyph on the ground near the trees to melt the snow so we could sit together there. The magic worked quickly, and soon the earth beneath was dry and even a little warm. He sat and I followed beside him.

“Is this enough for you, da’len?” Solas asked, relaxing against a tree. “For your time here?”

I sighed, shrugging. “It’ll have to be, I guess. If I disappear.” I glanced his way. “Are you going to miss me?”

“Yes.” He swallowed, his chest puffing from a deep inhale. “Anna, I want to tell you something, in this final time together.” The chilled air of the Frostbacks gave his complexion a slight flush.

“What?” I asked, holding my breath in anticipation.

“I wish to thank you,” Solas said. “You have made me feel so much lighter—in a way I didn’t think possible.” A smile spread across his face. “You are so kind, and light-hearted… I did not realize how much it could affect me. To know someone like you. Someone I could be myself with.” He paused a moment. “You make me feel… free.”

I smiled at him, my eyes pricking with tears. “That’s how I feel about you,” I said, tugging at his sleeve. “You get me, Solas. And not just that I come from another realm… but me, as a person.” I wiped my eye. “I know how annoying I am, and I haven’t even been useful or anything, but you don’t treat me like I’m useless. You’re so helpful and nice, and you act like I matter.”

“You do matter, da’len.”

“I don’t. Not here. I don’t belong here.” I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them, watching my breath materialize in the cold air.

Solas looked out onto the river. “I think you could belong anywhere you go.”

“Why?” I asked, glancing back at him. “Because my weirdness is endearing?”

“No.” He smiled, meeting my gaze again. “Because your heart is so open to others. You listen, and you care.”

A blush crept along my cheeks. My chest felt too tight, this sense of loss growing the longer we sat there together. I didn’t want to go back to my world. I don’t want to leave you.

“Anna… I must confess something,” he said with a breath. “Because I may not have the chance otherwise.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“I am not a god,” Solas said. (Fen’Harel said.)

Uh, what? I put my knees down and turned to him. “What do you mean? You’re not the Dread Wolf?” I asked, brows lifted.

“I am. But I have no special abilities,” Solas said. “I am merely… a man. Immortal, yes, but in no way as powerful as the legends suggest.”

I laughed in surprise, understanding now. “Solas—I already know that.” I shook my head. How was this a confession?

Solas still looked concerned. “But you have always called me a god, and I am not. Far from it. None of the pantheon were.”

“None of them?” I asked. “Then why do they have temples?”

“They were elvhen leaders who had acquired enough political power and followers to eventually be revered as gods. Nothing more.”

“Why were they so hard to lock away, then?”

“They were still powerful mages, as many ancient elvhen were. But nothing like a god,” Solas explained.

“Huh,” I replied, mulling it over. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Solas dropped his gaze to the ground. “I did not trust you at first, and I thought you believing I was some divine entity would be an advantage for me. And then later, as I came to know you… I did not want to disappoint you.”

“Disappoint me?” I asked with a smile.

“Yes,” he said, almost shy. “You seemed so excited by the idea.”

“Solas, I know I call you a god sometimes, but I’ve seen how you’re not so different from everyone else. I mean, you almost died in the Arbor Wilds.”

“I was not dying, da’len,” he said, finally smiling again now. “Though I am glad you were there for me.”

“You were pretty hurt, to say the least.” I smiled back. “You do seem really strong, though. With how you control magic. And dreams. I thought that might be the godly side of you.”

“That is true of any elvhen of my time.”

I hummed. “So, you wanted me to know that you’re not special at all? And I’ve just been hanging out with some average elvhen? Even though you had your own temple?”

Solas sighed. “I freed many from the Evanuris’ grasp. Some began to worship me. It was not something I wanted.”

Pfft, what a cool guy. “Solas, I don’t care about that stuff. Even if you actually were the apostate you pretend to be, I would still hang out with you.” I laughed a little. “I’d probably like it even more because then you wouldn’t feel guilty all the time.”

“Would you?” He smiled. His eyes were so bright in the snow.

“Yeah,” I said, shaking my head again. “You’re like my favorite person in the whole world.” I poked his arm. “Thank you for telling me, though.”

“Thank you for listening. For always listening,” Solas said, then paused, gazing at me. “I will miss our conversations.”

“We don’t know that it’s the end, yet.” Snow began to fall lightly around us, and a breeze fluttered my hair.

“But it will end. Eventually.” He touched my hand, curving his fingers over mine. “Thank you for being so kind to me, Anna. For shining your light upon me. You make me feel like I am… worth so much more than I should be.”

“Solas. You are.” I squeezed his hand, then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for being my friend,” I said, since he was telling me what he was thankful for. I stayed close after the kiss, because he was being so gentle and sweet, and this overwhelming longing was starting to break me. Like my heart was too full, threatening to burst at any moment.

“It was easy,” he whispered, staring at me. Solas lifted his hand to my head and pressed his lips against my own cheek. Then his hand moved to push some hair behind my ear. His gaze drifted from my hair to my eyes, chest heaving with heavy breaths. He was so near to me now. I could feel the heat of him, and I placed a hand upon his chest, splaying my fingers out onto his jacket. He still held my other hand, and he tightened his grasp.

I swallowed, my eyes falling down to his mouth. This could be my final chance. I closed the small gap between us and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away shortly after. It was only a moment, but the tenderness of his mouth was enough to make my heart swell.

“You kissed me,” Solas murmured. His gaze floated up to mine.

“I did,” I said. My hand still touched his chest. “Want me to again?”

His mouth curled into a smile, eyelids heavy.

Bells sounded in the distance, and we both startled.

“The Inquisitor,” he said. His eyes went wide, and he slanted away from me. “She’s returned.”

“Solas, wait—”

“No, we—we are out of time.”

Chapter Text

“I know where Corypheus is,” the Inquisitor declared, sitting atop her throne. “Tomorrow, we ride to defeat him!” She stood up emphatically, feeling empowered from recently meeting Mythal with Morrigan.

Everyone in the hall cheered from her declaration. Except me and Solas. We were both scared. Solas, about his orb breaking; me, about this game coming to an end.

Lavellan smiled, encouraged by the cheers of her followers. She announced that anyone who was able should fight with her, since most of our forces were still in the Arbor Wilds (still?? Come on, Cullen!). And that included me.

People exited left and right in preparation, but Solas remained stationary, deep in contemplation with his hand on his chin. We hadn’t really spoken on the trek back to Skyhold after I’d kissed him (Solas claimed he needed to “focus”—running away, as usual), and it seemed he still wouldn't talk to me. I sighed, and headed back to my room to gather my belongings for the trip instead.

I grabbed my rucksack from where I kept it on my dresser. I didn’t have many possessions here, but packed what I’d acquired over the last some months. Extra underwear, my herb-cutting knife, a little flask for water.

Someone opened my bedroom door behind me, making me jump. I looked over my shoulder to see Solas standing in the doorway. He hadn’t even bothered to knock. “What are you doing?” he asked me, concerned.

“Hello to you, too,” I said, turning back to my bag. My heart started clattering, heat creeping up my face, but I stayed focused on my pack.

Solas approached my side. “Why are you packing?” he asked anxiously.

“I’m getting ready to go to the Valley of Sacred Ashes.” I continued to fill my bag with stuff. Mainly food from the kitchens. I always got hungry.

“No,” he said, halting me with a hand on my arm. “You will not.”

“Solas, you can’t stop me. These might be my last moments in Thedas! I want to be at the final battle,” I huffed.

Solas looked at me sternly. “You can barely defend yourself. You could have died in the Hinterlands.”

“I might die here, anyway!” I closed my now-packed bag, glaring at him. “You should worry about protecting your orb so it doesn’t break. Not about me.”

Solas shook his head. “Anna, please. Stay. You are safe here.”

“I want to go, okay? And you can’t decide that for me.” I sighed, fiddling with the buckle on my rucksack. “Don’t you… don’t you want to spend as much time with me as you can?”

“I want you safe. Not dying unnecessarily.”

“But we kissed,” I said finally, my gaze reaching his. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

His cheeks flushed. “You kissed me.”

“Well, you let me!” I said, tears stinging my eyes.

“I thought it was goodbye!” He took a breath, composing himself. “It should have been.”

The tears spilled over, and I looked away from him. “Fine. I guess it is, then,” I said, my voice trembling. I took my bag, hanging it over my shoulder. “Goodbye, Solas.”

I left the room before he could say another word.

* * *

I drifted through Skyhold, swinging my rucksack at my side. I didn’t even need it right now. We weren’t leaving for the battle until tomorrow, and I’d only brought it with me for the dramatic effect. I sighed.

His response had broken my heart. Again. I shouldn’t have kissed him, but did he have to be so cold and unfeeling about it? Solas had seemed kind of interested in the moment, and he’d said all those sweet things… Perhaps he was only being nice because he thought I’d disappear soon. Why was I even surprised? If he wouldn’t get back with Lavellan, who he was meant for, then why would he ever even consider me?

And now I was leaving Skyhold, possibly for the final time. I stood on the battlements, staring out into the Frostback Mountains and contemplating my time here. What a waste, really. I hadn’t done anything, hadn’t accomplished anything.

“Are you deserting us?” Cullen asked, jerking my attention away from the mountains.

“What?” I said, then remembered my backpack and laughed a little in embarrassment. “No, I just wanted to be ready to go. For the final battle.”

“We do not leave until tomorrow,” Cullen said, tilting his head in question, “but I commend your preparedness.” He paused, looking to see if anyone else was around, then asked in a much lower voice, “Anna, I believe you may be of service after all. Are you able to recount our battle with Corypheus from your visions?”

“Oh,” I said, disappointed. I had hoped for a different type of task from him. “Yeah, I can help you with that.”

We hurried off to his office, with Cullen glancing around nervously the entire time. It was odd behavior for him, but I assumed it had to do with his anxiety about the darkspawn magister. Most of the Inquisition forces were still in the Arbor Wilds, tsk tsk.

Cullen and I poured over his maps, and I tried to recall all the details of the battle. It was difficult to advise him when most of the Inquisitor’s fight would be in the air… but I warned him as best as I could.

“Just remember, Morrigan and the Inquisitor are the key,” I said. “And for the rest of the forces, I think it’s most important to tell them about the temple rising up. And falling back down, too.”

The Commander nodded along, engaged in rapt attention. After I’d recited all I could remember that’d be helpful, he seemed satisfied. Though still anxious, he at least looked a little more relaxed now.

“Thank you, Anna. This is a great help,” Cullen said, then sighed tiredly. “I would have asked you sooner, but… well, the Inquisitor requested not to use your help.” He shook his blonde head. “But you have such valuable information, it’d be a terrible waste.”

“She said that?!” I exclaimed, miffed as hell. I exhaled in frustration. “If she wouldn’t even use my one ability, then she should have just kicked me out of the Inquisition.”

“I don’t think it would have felt right to her,” Cullen said, scratching his stubble. “You’ve been such a boost for morale.”

I blinked at him. “I have?”

“Oh, yes,” he affirmed, smiling. “Many have vouched for you. Myself included.”

A corner of my mouth turned up. “You have?”

He turned somewhat pink. “Well—yes. After talking to you, I’ve realized that it’s fine to take a little time for myself. The world will not end.” He swallowed. “That is, if we can stop Corypheus tomorrow.”

“We will,” I said, smiling. “Thanks, Cullen. I… never really thought I could help like that.”

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” he said. “You haven’t had the training of most here.”

“I know. I just—” I sighed. “Everyone is so much better than me at everything. It’s hard not to compare.”

“Well, no one is better at raising spirits than you.” Cullen smiled. “Now, if you would excuse me, I must prepare our soldiers with this new information.”

“Right. Of course,” I said. “Good luck, Commander.”

* * *

The gang rode out of Skyhold the next day, guns blazing and all that. As I rode in the middle of the Inquisition forces, the end of the game felt far too real. I didn’t talk to Solas again, though I could tell he was quite upset I had tagged along.

I noticed Varric was riding nearby, so I slowed my mare to ride beside him. Then I casually—cough—asked him, “Are you scared, Varric?”

The dwarf stared at me like I was crazy. “Yeah, Sleepy, I am.” He turned his gaze forward, towards Lavellan. “But I trust the Inquisitor. I know we will stop him.”

I half-smiled. “We definitely will.”

“I still think you’re in over your head.” He glanced at the bow on my back. “I’ve seen you practice shooting... Why would you come to such a dangerous fight?”

“Varric,” I said, smiling, “am I really that bad?” I laughed a little. “Don’t worry, I’ll probably just stay out of the way, anyway.”

“Still dangerous, though,” he warned.

I shrugged, looking at all the companions riding ahead of me. “This could be the last time I see all of you guys...” I said quietly, my eyes resting on a certain bald elf ahead of me.

“I know. We love you, too, kid,” Varric said tenderly.

I was still staring at Solas’s back. I could have sworn I saw a pointy ear twitch. I started riding pretty slowly then, falling behind Varric. Sighhhh.

“I only want you safe, but you never listen. You laugh, you linger… you will lose your life,” Cole muttered.

“What was that?” I asked, glancing at him.

Cole gestured his head towards Solas. Ugh. “I’ll be fine,” I said loudly in the elf’s direction. He still wouldn’t look at me, though.

“It feels stolen, though you gave it freely. He doesn’t want what isn’t his to have,” Cole continued.

I swallowed, thinking of the kiss. Because I’m not Lavellan?

“He doesn’t hurt about her... not anymore...” Cole said quietly.

Doubtful. That elf couldn't let go of anything. I looked from Solas to the spirit. “Thanks, Cole, but it’s okay. You can stop trying to help me.”

“Everyone here is scared... but yours is different from the others. I thought I could help.”

I smiled. “You did.” Sort of. It was better to know than not.

I tried to talk to the rest of the companions after that, as it could be the last time. Dorian was even chattier than usual, attempting to talk through his nerves. Iron Bull was listening to him intently, a chuckle escaping him from time to time. Vivienne would not talk to me. Cassandra seemed deep in concentration, and Sera… well, she was just trying to smack Blackwall’s horse for some reason.

The Valley of Sacred Ashes wasn’t very far, and we arrived there by late afternoon.

Here we go. We were finally here. The final fight. It’s the fiiinallll countdowwwwn, I sang in my head.

I dismounted my horse, my eyes taking in the temple overrun with red lyrium. The sky was cloudy, and the Breach glowed green against the grey. The rest of the group got off their mounts, observing the state of the area.

“Tell me, where is your Maker now?” Corypheus’s voice boomed in the not-so-far distance.

The Inquisitor went running towards the magister, determined to put an end to this video game story arc. The others followed after her, except Solas. He turned to me.

“Anna,” Solas said. “Please, stay here.”

I nodded. “I will, I promise.”

He exhaled, grasping both my arms. “I must bid you farewell, then.” Solas put a hand on my cheek, gazing into my eyes. Then he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I felt him softly kiss the top of my head. “Ar lath ma, Anna,” he whispered into my ear. “Dareth shiral.”

He loved me. Ar lath ma, Anna, I repeated his words in my head. He loved me.

It was this beautiful moment of stillness, and then he let me go and strode away, not turning back. It was only when my view of him got blurry that I realized I had tears in my eyes.

“It ends here, Corypheus!” the Inquisitor shouted. The archdemon and dragon-Morrigan started brawling. The battle had started then.

Corypheus lifted the ruined temple into the sky, bringing Lavellan, Iron Bull, Cole, and Solas with it. The elf must have Fade-Stepped to get there in time.

I was far away, safe from danger. I knew how the fight would end, so I had to prepare myself. I glanced around, seeing several other Skyhold inhabitants trying to battle their way back to the Inquisitor.

Cassandra, Blackwall, Dorian, Sera, Vivienne, Varric... even Scout Harding. They were all fighting shades that Corypheus had summoned. I had never seen this side of it before, and I was glad I hadn’t followed the rest. I would be dead, for sure.

I stood away from it all, a bunch of abandoned mounts around me. I looked at the companions and watched them give the fight their everything. Goodbye, friends. Thanks for all the wonderful memories.

I took two horses with me, guiding them around the area. My rough plan was that I would try to meet Solas if he ran away from everyone. I never said it was a good plan... I thought, remembering what Solas said to Lavellan before he Fade-tongued her.

I gave the temple a wide berth, trying to ignore the flashes of light and shouts I heard coming from it. Stay calm, I told myself. They’ll all survive.

I eventually made it to the other side, giving me a clear view of the very top, where the finale would occur. How would Solas even get down?

I tied the two mares to a tree, and my eyes started searching the haphazard structure. I thought ironically of Arlathan. A city in the clouds. There was only one capable path I could discern, so it had to be the way.

The fight went on for a while, the dragons swirling around in the air. (Their screeches were loud as fuck.) There were bursts of light, thunderous noises... I couldn’t actually see them fighting though, but these indications showed they were still going at it.

I sighed, my chest tightening as tears started to fall again. I should have done more in Thedas. I should have traveled, or gotten better at combat. Or at least banged someone.

Suddenly, a beam of light shot up into the Breach. The sky began to close in on itself, swirling into the green abyss. Giant boulders that were previously held up by its magic crashed downwards, falling all around the valley, but luckily none near me.

I squinted my eyes, trying to detect where the Inquisitor was. But soon I found the answer, as I noticed an elf in a wolf pelt standing at the top. The battle was over, and Lavellan had finally defeated Corypheus. Did the orb break? Did Solas save it this time?

I watched Solas as he exchanged some words with Lavellan. Whatever they were discussing, it looked fairly similar to the game cutscene. They stood quite a few paces away from each other, not even touching. She turned away, and Solas then slowly made his way down the temple, glancing back only once.

I closed my eyes, waiting. Would I suddenly be zapped back to reality now that the story was complete?

But I stayed where I was. I swallowed, watching Solas continue to climb down the rocks, remembering the last scene after the epilogue. Cinematic-wise, the game wasn’t over yet. Perhaps my time would last until then.

Untying the mounts, I held the reins and waited for Solas at the bottom. His downward path was erratic, winding sharply back and forth. He even had to jump at certain points when it became too broken. Why didn’t he just Fade Step?

When he came closer into view, I saw how exhausted he looked. His mana must be completely drained. His gaze met mine, and Solas froze.

“Anna…” he said, eyes wide as he approached me. “You’re here. You survived.” He gave me a hug, clutching me tightly before releasing me again. “And… your prediction was correct. My orb is broken.”

I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Solas,” I told him softly. I pointed upwards. “At least the Breach is sealed?”

Solas nodded glumly. “Yes... One mistake amended. But I must continue my duty.” He took some reins from my hand. “Thank you, Anna, and I wish you luck in your life.” He bowed his head solemnly.

“Wait!” I said, grabbing his arm. “I’m coming with you!”

He looked at me sternly, shaking his head. “No, you cannot.”

“I will,” I said, grabbing his robes with both of my hands.

Solas closed his eyes. “I... I must walk this path in solitude.” He looked so weakened, distraught, tired of fighting...

“Solas, you don’t,” I said. “Even if you die, I still want to go. Even if I die, I want to go.” I swallowed. “I want to help you, no matter what. I want to be with you.”

He exhaled, pulling away. “That is a mistake.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “But it’s my choice. And you can’t stop me.” I refused to have him leave without me. I knew what would happen to the Inquisition, the power they would gain, the alliances that would form. I needed to know what happened to him. If he just went, and I never saw him again... No, I couldn’t accept that.

His expression was grave as he turned away from me. “You are so obstinate,” he said quietly. Solas didn’t say anything more, but just mounted his horse and started to ride off.

I quickly did the same and followed, leaving the Inquisition behind.

Chapter Text

“Solas? Can we stop to eat? Please?” I begged.

Solas exhaled, annoyed. We had been riding for hours now, and he had refused to take a break. “I do not require food as I can draw sustenance from the Fade,” he snapped. “It is not my fault that you have followed me and cannot provide for yourself.”

“I just need a break! It won’t be too long.”

“If you cannot keep up with my pace, I suggest you return to Skyhold!” he yelled from his horse.

“I’m not leaving!” I shouted back.

“What did you expect from following me?” he growled. “Did you think this would be easy? Did you think it would be fun?”

“Of course not!” I replied. “But I didn’t expect you to be this insane, continuing on when you’re obviously exhausted!”

“Too much time has been wasted. I must hurry.” He rode faster than me then, leaving me in the dust.

We hadn’t even slept since the battle with Corypheus, and Solas had forced us to ride through the night. He wouldn’t stop for anything, as if we were being chased. Maybe we were—I knew Leliana's agents would be looking for us. But I also knew we couldn’t keep going forever without a break. Well, maybe he could.

I tried to match his pace, but my horse couldn’t keep up. Was that elf using magic or something?? I slowed to a stop. He’d come back, right?

I dismounted and put my feet on the ground. We were in Orlais, somewhere in the Dales. It was very early morning, and the sun was slowly rising. We had been riding in a wide stretch of grasslands, near the edge of a forest.

I untied the pack from my saddle to eat some dried meat I had brought. I tore off a bite and chewed it, watching his horse continue on without me. Maybe he won’t come back... This was what he wanted, after all.

I couldn’t go on though, no matter how much I wanted to follow him. I was exhausted, and I could only imagine how weary he must be feeling. I hadn’t even been in the Corypheus fight.

My mare munched at some grass nearby, grateful for the break as well (or at least I liked to think so). I sat on the ground, relaxing against a tree, my limbs fatigued from the straining travel, and closed my eyes.

“Anna!” Solas shouted, shaking me awake from the ground. His expression was panicked.

“What—?” I asked groggily. I had fallen asleep without even realizing it.

Solas was kneeling next to me, his hands on my arms. “Are you all right? Why didn’t you follow?!” He pulled me to a sitting position.

“You came back,” I said, blinking my eyes at him.

He sighed. “Please do not do that again.”

I put my hands to my face, covering my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired. I felt like I was going to faint off my horse.”

He gently rubbed my arm. “No, I am sorry,” he said. “We can rest, for a little while.”

Solas moved us to a spot in the forest since he said it would be harder for anyone to find us there. He set wards around the area, drawing runes in the dirt with his staff.

We shared the remains of my jerky, wrapping some of it in elfroot. Honestly, the herb didn’t taste very good with it, but Solas insisted that we needed its nutrition.

I was very drowsy after eating, but I thought Solas needed the rest more. “You sleep first, and I’ll keep watch,” I told him.

Solas shook his head. “That is unnecessary, da’len. I have set wards, so we may both sleep.”

“Oh,” I said, relieved. “Are you sure?”

He laughed slightly. “Yes, Anna. Do not underestimate my abilities.” His mouth formed a sad smile. “I have done this for a long time,” he said.

I nodded, watching as he settled onto the ground and placed his staff at his side. “I’m sorry you had to leave the Inquisitor,” I said, sitting down crossed-legged beside him.

Solas sighed, closing his eyes. “It was necessary to leave the Inquisition,” he replied.

“Yeah, but, you know...” I picked at some grass growing on the forest floor. “I’m sure it was hard to say goodbye.”

“She understands that I had to leave,” Solas said. He then opened his eyes to glare at me. “She respects my choice.”

“Why do you have to do everything alone?” I huffed, annoyed.

“It is a dangerous journey, Anna, and I”—he exhaled—“I do not want you to die because of me. Is that so wrong to feel?”

“I’m going to die soon, anyway! So why can’t I spend the rest of my time with you?”

Solas sat up, highly aggravated now. “That is not proven,” he said. “And you are still alive now, though you thought you would disappear after the battle with Corypheus. Your theory has no evidence.”

“I said I might disappear! And it’s still possible, okay? I—I haven’t reached the end of my foresight yet.”

He paused. “What have you yet to see?”

I glanced at him. “Well, you’re going to go meet Mythal, right? That’s where you’re headed?”

Solas frowned. “Anna.”

“Listen, I–I thought it would end with Corypheus because you might save your orb, and that would change my vision,” I explained, staring down at the grass. “But you didn’t, so it’s still going. I’m still here.”

“Why did you never tell me this?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I just didn’t want you to become too upset over it. And you never seemed to believe that your orb would break, anyway.”

“I still hardly believe it,” he said quietly. “It survived millennia, only to be shattered in an instant.”

“I know,” I said.

“What is your final vision?” Solas asked.

“You meet Mythal in the Crossroads, and you… take her essence or something. That’s the last thing I saw.”

“I see,” he said, mouth downturned.

“Solas,” I said, taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry I came with you. I know it’s burdensome, but I—I just can’t leave you, all right? I don’t want to never see you again. I can’t.”

He shook his head. “You are only delaying the inevitable.”

“You asked me what I wanted in my final days here. This is what I want,” I said, meeting his gaze.

Solas sighed. “And have you no concern for what I may want in mine?”

Shit. “Of course, I do, hahren.” I swallowed. “Do you really want me to leave? If that’s what you want, then… I’ll go. I’ll head back.”

“You force me into the most frustrating positions, da’len.” Solas exhaled. “If you were to ask my heart, then I would have you stay. But my mind knows how foolish the decision would be.” He looked at me. “Do you understand?”

I nodded.

Solas was quiet for a while as he contemplated.

“If this is what you want, then I will not stop you,” he finally said. “I would not want you to regret anything because of me.”

“Thank you,” I said, knowing full well I already regretted loving him in the first place. Though I doubted I could have stopped myself.

“Anna, I…” He sighed and reached his hand to my cheek, brushing his knuckle down the side of it. “I am glad we have more time together. I would have missed you otherwise.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

We both laid ourselves back on the forest floor, and I shortly drifted to sleep. I was exhausted, after all.

Chapter Text

Solas didn’t let us sleep long, and soon he was shaking me awake. “We must keep moving,” he said gently. The sun was much higher in the sky now, so it only seemed around noon.

I groaned and got up to gather my few things. “Do you think Leliana has people following us?” I asked tiredly.

“Yes,” he confirmed. He was already prepared to leave, standing by his horse with his staff at his back.

“Even if you told the Inquisitor you needed to leave?” I placed my foot through the stirrup to mount my mare.

Solas shook his head, leaping gracefully atop his own horse. “Regardless, we cannot be certain that she prevented Leliana’s investigation.”

We started riding again, and I thought back to the Inquisition. What did they all think of the two of us leaving? When I played the game, I assumed everyone kinda just thought, Oh, that old Solas! Always running off to do his own thing! (Except the heartbroken Lavellan, of course... and suspicious Leliana.)

But what did they think since I had left, too? Did they think we were traitors? Did they think we were lovers? Did they think we hated them, finally getting to escape once the mission was completed? Running off and screaming, “Fuck you bitches!!”?

It made me a little sad, since I didn’t properly get to tell them goodbye. I loved all the companions like they were my own family. With them gone, it felt like my party was empty.

And yet... it ain’t no party like a Fen’Harel party.

We were traveling at a much easier pace than before. Still fast, just not as intense. The wolf riding beside me kept his eyes forward, but occasionally would glimpse my way.

“Do you miss the Inquisition at all?” I asked him.

Solas glanced at me briefly before gazing ahead again. “I have enjoyable memories there,” he said, “but the future of the People is of greater importance.”

“I miss them,” I said, observing his reaction. He must miss them a little.

His eyes moved towards me again. “Then perhaps you should return,” he suggested.

I shook my head. “You know I won’t.”

Solas said nothing, and we continued to ride.

It was a lot warmer in the Dales than at Skyhold. Once we had made it through the Frostback Mountains, the grass became greener, and the sun shone brighter. Horseback riding was tiring, and I felt the sweat start to pool in the small of my back.

One good thing about living in these medieval times was that I was actually getting stronger. I could tell by how much easier it was to mount my horse, climb those big-ass steps... If I ever did make it back to my world, I hoped my new muscles would stick around.

We eventually came to a river. Well, more like a wide-ish stream. Solas dismounted, tethering his mare to a nearby tree. I did the same, although I wasn’t sure what he was doing.

He walked towards the water, stripping off his robes... tunic... and then his breeches... and then... Oh, my god, I thought frantically. Solas butt.

“Um, what are you doing?!” I asked him, highly embarrassed that I was staring, yet unable to look away. He didn’t turn around but only hopped into the water.

“Bathing,” he said simply.

“Heh,” I said, “I guess I’ll just wait over here then...” I trailed off. I was still standing by the horses, a short distance away.

“You could,” he said, looking back at me, “but judging by your odor, I would bathe as well.” He smirked at me from the stream.

“Shut up, Dread Wolf!” I shouted back. But I thought a moment. It was a good opportunity to clarify some... anatomy questions.

Solas had turned his back again, bending his body so low that only his bald head stuck out of the water. Why is he so comfortable with this?? Did elves always bathe in groups or something?

I exhaled slowly, determining my next action. He had invited me. It would be rude not to get in... plus I really wanted a bath... and... naked with Solas... hahhh.

“Okay,” I said to myself quietly, removing my own clothing. What was the worst that could happen? Solas wasn’t interested in me romantically, anyway, and he was a gentleman. A gentleman noble. Yes. This is perfectly fine.

Luckily, he continued to keep his back to me as I undressed, sparing me from further humiliation. I soon sunk into the water quietly behind him, ducking down as low as I could. It was a relatively shallow stream, the water coming up to my waist. I made sure to only have my neck and head above the surface. It was warm, too, and I noticed a small, glowing red rune on a rock nearby. Solas had heated the area.

He turned around at my arrival, an eyebrow in the air. “You know,” he said, tone mocking, “the water is perfectly clear. I can see everything.”

I splashed him. “But at least it’s distorted.”

The current was rushing by, making it harder to see underneath. “You couldn’t have picked a calmer spot, hahren?” I asked accusingly. I had to carefully anchor my feet into the riverbed floor to stabilize my body.

Solas wiped away some of the water I had splashed on his face. “It is better this way; the water cleans the body for you,” he explained.

I hummed in understanding, now getting distracted by his body. He was facing me now, and I examined the muscles of his chest. He was completely naked, not even wearing his jawbone necklace. Heh heh.

His upper body looked just like a human’s though, which made me wonder... “Do I look the same as an elf?” I ventured.

Solas laughed. “What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

I took a breath and decided to stop caring about him fully seeing me, it was too late anyway. I stood up. “Do I have all the same parts?” I asked, my face hot.

Solas eyed me pretty quickly, his eyes flitting over the breadth of my body. “Yes,” he told me coolly. “It is all the same.”

I squatted in the water again, and splashing him, said, “Well, I showed you...”

He sighed and stood up, presenting his body with a flourish of his hand. Yep. It was all the same. Well, except no hair. At all. He returned to the water.

I felt my face getting impossibly warm from embarrassment, so I dipped my head back, letting the water soak my hair and cool my skin. Suddenly, there was a hand on my back, and I jerked myself up to see Solas very close to me.

“You should be careful, Anna,” he told me calmly, “You wouldn’t want to be carried downstream.” There was a playful tone in his voice, but his eyes looked deadly serious.

I nodded, turning redder from the close proximity. I was highly aware that his hand was still on my back, although I was sure it didn’t need to be. What are you thinking, you sly wolf? (If only...)

But since he was so close to me now, I chanced my hand closer to his body, lightly touching his pecs. He remained still, allowing the contact, and my hand trailed downwards, feeling his abdominals. Heh. His muscles sure were firm for an old hobo.

Solas seemed curious as well, and he brought his free hand upwards, reaching for my face. He caressed the curve of my ear, fondling its shape. Has he ever seen a naked human before? I wondered.

Getting the idea from him, I reached my own hand up to touch his ear, giggling at the pointiness of it. His ears were so much longer and bigger than mine. “I like your ears,” I said, smiling at him.

He smiled back. “Do you wish you were an elf?” he asked jokingly.

My hand fell back to the water. “Sometimes.” I did always roleplay as one...

Solas laughed then, releasing me from his grasp and wading a bit farther away. I stumbled a few steps from the sudden lack of support.

He gazed back at me curiously. “You are peculiar,” he said, smiling. “You wish to be an elf in the age of humans, a time when the People are looked down upon.”

I shrugged. “Of course that isn’t preferable, but it’s more about the culture,” I explained. “I like the way elves are so connected with nature... with magic. Their understanding of the world runs deep.” I lifted an eyebrow at him, smiling. “Plus, their gods actually exist.”

Solas frowned at me then. “What makes you think the human gods do not exist?” he asked me.

I shrugged again. “I haven’t seen any proof,” I told him.

“Ah,” he said. “A valid argument. But things are not always so simple, da’len.” He stood up and got out of the water. Bath time was over. I watched as he walked into some grass. Solas butt again.

To my surprise, he lay down on the ground, still naked. “What are you doing, Solas?” I asked him, confused.

“Drying,” he replied. Okay.

The water was getting cold, so I followed his lead and got out of the stream. Fortunately, it was a warm day, and the sun was shining high and pleasantly.

I walked my way over and laid myself down beside him. I sneakily grabbed his hand though, lacing my fingers between his as I settled in. My heart leapt a little when he gently curled his fingers over mine, returning the gesture, although perhaps not as tightly as I was.

“Can’t you just use magic to dry?” I asked him.

Solas chuckled lightly. “Sometimes nature is more efficient,” he answered, his eyes closed. “This has always been an indulgence of mine.” Solas took a deep breath as he soaked in the sun. “I haven’t had the chance since the Breach.”

“Yeah, I’m sure the snow in Skyhold made it difficult.”

A little snort escaped him, and he squeezed my hand. “You were quick to join me in the water,” he noted.

“Well, you said I stank,” I said, laughing a bit.

“Yes. It’s much improved now.”

I flicked his arm with my free hand, turning my head to peek at him. His eyes met mine and he smiled tenderly at me, his face a little flushed in the sun. But soon Solas stood up, breaking our hands apart and leaving me on the ground.

“You are wider,” he said, still smiling as he examined me from above. His body was blocking the sun, casting a shadow over me.

I sat up, covering myself with my arms. “Excuse me?” I asked, confused.

He laughed, taking a step away from me. “I meant elves have smaller frames than humans. Their bones are slighter.”

I looked straight at his crotch then, eyes wide. Not that bone, I thought pervertedly. I flushed red again.

Solas noticed my stare. “And,” he smirked, bending closer to my eye-level, “I have never seen an elf look as crimson as you.” He stood upright again and began to put on his clothing.

I got up, completely mortified, and started to do the same, grabbing my garments. “Do you ever get tan?” I asked him, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Tan?” Solas placed his wolf jawbone over his head.

“Like does your skin get darker from the sun,” I explained as I tied all the annoying knots of my top.

He smiled as if the question was silly. “Of course.”

“Then why are you so pale?” I asked. He didn't have any tan lines or anything.

“I cast a spell to protect me. My skin can easily burn.”

I laughed. Of course he did.

Chapter Text

We rode even farther that day, and I felt much better after the river. I hadn’t bathed since Skyhold and hoped that Solas didn’t actually notice a smell. That was a joke, right??

He seemed in a much better mood now, at least, and he’d stopped suggesting I return to the Inquisition. Instead, he made pleasant conversation as we journeyed. Solas would point out an old ruin if we passed one he knew of, and would smile when I’d ask him further questions about it. It felt normal again between us, as we usually were when alone. I loved spending time with him like this, just the two of us outside of the castle and the Inquisition, though I knew our days were limited. Solas was on a mission, and I still needed to save him from it. If only I knew how.

When we’d stopped for the evening, Solas and I dismounted. He led me into a forest, the two of us guiding our horses through the roots and trees. This went on for quite some time, and I wondered if he was still worried about Leliana’s spies following us. Though I certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

When Solas deemed a spot appropriate, he tied his reins to a low branch, patting his horse. He spoke some soft words in Elvish to her. The mare snuffed in response.

I did the same (well, not the Elvish part) and then surveyed the clearing. It was deep into the woods, making it dark and creepy. The leafy branches of trees blocked out most of the night’s moonlight.

Solas walked the area and placed wards where he saw fit. He was like a silent shadow as he moved against the trees. Each rune he drew in the ground lit up dimly before disappearing, becoming an unseen trap. He soon came back though, and I had to squint my eyes to make out his features. He nodded at me, his own eyes glinting in the dark. “We are safe, da’len.”

I nodded, sitting down on the ground. Solas had gathered some branches during his ward-casting, and he dropped them near my feet. He cast a fire upon them, and I had to close my eyes from the sudden brightness.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Mmm, yeah, pretty hungry,” I said quietly, still sheltering my eyes with a hand, and he rushed back into the trees at my response. I continued to sit there, waiting for him. He was gone for a while, and I started to get worried. Now that the fire was lit, I couldn’t see anything past its flaming light. The trees around me melted into walls of blackness.

“Solas?” I whispered, frightened that something bad had happened to him. I kept my gaze fixed on the trees he had disappeared through. “Do you need help?” I asked, although I doubted he could hear me. What if a bear got him??

I stood up, deciding to go find him. Approaching the trees he had walked between, I placed my hand on one of the trunks. “Solas...?” I called, gingerly taking another step. My back was to the fire now, and my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. I could soon see the better part of the area, and there were lots of trees, but no hobo. I walked a little more, carefully using my arms to feel the air around me. How long had it been now? Twenty minutes? An hour? It was so hard to tell when I was just sitting there by myself (and with no phone to entertain me either).

I ventured farther and came to the tiniest of creeks. The trees were not as closely gathered here, so the moons lit the area much brighter. What if he really was dead? What would I do?

My stomach twisted at the thought of it. My eyes darted around the woods, determined to find him, heart quickening with fear. “Fen’Harel?” I asked the forest. I walked deeper. “Dread…” My gaze stopped on something staring back at me. “... Wolf?”

It was a real wolf. A big black, scary one. His haunches were raised, as if just about to pounce on me. I completely froze, unsure of what to do. I didn’t even have my bow because I was an idiot who had left it back near the fire. I took a step backward, my mind racing on the best way to flee. The wolf growled then and leapt towards me.

I tried to jump out of the way, but tripped on a root and landed on my back in the dirt, knocking the wind out of me. I gasped, anticipating my imminent death.

The wolf never reached me, though. As he sprang mid-air, he smacked into some magical barrier between us, falling back to the ground. The animal huffed a bit, but then sprinted back through the forest. Huh?

Solas came into view from behind me and leaned over my fallen body. “Are you injured?” he asked, helping me up with a hand. I wobbled to my feet, relieved that he was there. He wrapped his arms around me in a worried embrace. “Why do you never remain where it is safe?”

“You were gone for so long... I was scared you had gotten hurt,” I explained, resting my head against his chest.

Solas squeezed me gently before releasing me. He then put his arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to our little camp. “You never need to worry about me, Anna,” he said.

“Let’s just go together next time, okay?” I suggested.

He smiled, pulling me closer to him. “As you wish.” He turned his head to me. “How did you avoid all of my wards?”

Geez, that was stupid. I didn’t even think about all the magic-mines on the ground. “Guess I was just lucky,” I said, embarrassed.

“Hmm,” he considered. “Until the wolf found you.”

We made it back to the fire and our horses, and I saw Solas had gathered quite a variety of food. “You got all this, hahren?” I asked in disbelief. There were berries and various leafy plants, a few roots that looked like potatoes. He was even cooking a rabbit over the fire.

“There is an abundance of food in these woods if one knows where to look,” he answered vaguely. Yeah, maybe if you’re a million years old.

“Thank you for getting it all,” I said, smiling at him. He nodded and removed his arm from me. I sat down near the fire. “What’s first?” I asked, biting my lip in hungry excitement.

Solas headed over to his horse, which had a bag attached to her saddle, and took out some wooden bowls. He brought over the items and sat beside me, placing the bowls between us.

Dropping some berries in one of them, he handed it to me. “The rabbit is nearly finished, but you may eat this in the meantime.”

I nodded and popped one in my mouth. They were blackberries (or something similar at least) and tasted perfectly sweet and juicy. “This is so nice, Solas,” I said, plopping another one into my mouth. “Like a little picnic.”

“And to think,” he said, turning the rabbit over the fire, “I did not even need to steal it.”

I laughed, covering my mouth with a hand and remembering my dumb campfire story. “Lucky you didn’t, too, because then I would have to punch you.”

He smiled. “Somehow such a threat brings me little fear,” he teased.

I smacked him playfully on the arm. “I can punch really hard when I want to!” Or at least I like to think so...

“I’m sure,” Solas said, smiling and examining my face. He reached a thumb to my chin, pressing it lightly against my skin. “Berry... juice,” he said, then brushed his thumb over my lower lip. His eyelids went low as he gazed down at me, and he wet his own lips. It reminded me of earlier today, when we were both naked in the river, and he had his hand on my back. He'd been looking intensely at me then, too. But Solas wasn't interested in me like that, right?

He leaned closer, pulling me nearer by his hand. My heart raced as I stared at the slowly approaching elf. I held my breath. Is this really happening??

Suddenly a weird screeching Eeeahhhhhh! noise sounded behind us.

We both jumped and looked back. A halla emerged between some trees, continuing the strange bleating sound. It blinked at us and then turned around and disappeared back into the forest. Solas snapped his attention back to the food, now very interested in slicing some potatoes with a knife. DAMN YOU, YOU FUCKING HALLA!!!!!

I finished eating the berries, cursing my luck with that stupid antlered animal. Why does this always happen to me? I stared at the wooden bowl in my lap, too embarrassed to look at the hobo. Solas was very sweet, though, and he took the bowl from me, placing some vegetables and rabbit in it. “Thank you,” I said quietly, accepting the meal from him.

The two of us ate in awkward silence, or at least I was pretty sure it was and not the companionable kind, because the whole time I was thinking about what might have happened if that annoying halla hadn’t interrupted, and my face kept feeling hotter and hotter. I snuck a glance at the elf, and he seemed extremely focused on his food, as if it might disappear if he didn’t keep an eye on it or something. Sigh.

Well, if the guy could be naked with me and not initiate anything, he probably wouldn't do something out of the blue like that anyway. I was overreacting.

We finished and cleaned up a bit, and Solas put out the fire. I laid myself down on the ground then to prepare for sleep, trying to get comfortable on the forest floor. Solas did the same, settling in near me. I trembled a bit. Now that the fire was out, the chilly air of the night was starting to nip at me. “Solas?” I asked.

“Yes?” he answered, eyes closed.

“Aren’t you cold?” I said. “I’m cold.”

Solas opened his eyes and turned his body towards mine. With a smile, he reached a hand towards my face, gently drawing a symbol into my cheek with his finger. He lingered there a moment, before curving his finger around my jaw towards my chin. Solas withdrew his hand. “Sleep well,” he whispered. He lay on his back again and closed his eyes.

The fire rune instantly heated my body, sending a shiver down my spine. I soon relaxed, though, and eventually fell asleep.

That halla better not mess up my sleep, too.

Chapter Text

It was warm, pleasantly so. The sun shone brightly, and I had to shade my eyes from its intense light. Where was I? I wondered as my eyes adjusted.

I took a step forward, and the ground lit up delicately beneath my bare foot. An entire path was highlighted in a gentle gold before me, guiding me down some magical road. The street was lined with buildings, and as I looked up, I noticed they towered high above me. Stories upon stories, like ancient skyscrapers with stone facades, glimmering with symbols.

The architecture had bridges connecting each other. Pathways weaving throughout the different levels of the metropolis. I walked my way through a large, beautiful archway that had trees intertwined within it. Nature and city in a perfect symbiosis.

I felt light. Happy. I sensed music in the air, but every time I tried to listen, no song was actually playing. I continued to walk, coming to a smaller footbridge. Peering over the edge of its railing, I realized the city was high in the sky, the cloudy earth miles below it.

I recognized this place from Solas’s painting in his room in Skyhold: Arlathan.

Continuing my way down the path, I noticed there were a few elves nearby. They stood in a smaller archway, one nearly entirely constructed of tree branches. The elvhen laughed with each other, their faces bare of vallaslin and pointy ears flushed with happiness. I stepped closer to them in intrigue. Their eyes glowed ever so slightly with magic long forgotten.

The elves didn’t notice me at all; they couldn’t see me. They spoke with rich, cheerful voices, in an ancient language I couldn’t understand. As they talked, they gestured with their hands, and little sparks of magic would dance along their fingers.

“Fen’Harel,” one of them exclaimed under his breath, focusing on a figure in the distance. The elves bowed their heads, hushing their conversation.

I turned to see Solas approaching, and he was similar to the Fen’Harel I had seen at Elgar’nan’s ball those many months ago. He looked very noble indeed in a silver and black high-necked suit that was layered with exquisite fabrics. His hair was long again, too. There were shiny adornments in it, pulling his chestnut locks away from his face. He had a very serious expression as he nodded to the elves, greeting them sternly.

Then he turned his gaze towards me, and a smile warmed his features. “Ma Anna,” he said softly, taking the last few steps in my direction. “Welcome to the time of Elvhenan.” He took my hand then and led me deeper into the city.

“I did not grow up here,” Solas said as he pulled me along, “but I spent many years of my life living in Arlathan.”

He brought me through a building. The entire ceiling was made of glass, with vines creeping along its windows. Sunlight poured down on us, and as I examined the area, I noticed there were even more elves here. They gathered around windows, captivated by whatever sat behind the glass. Wares of all different sorts were displayed in them, and I realized they must be shops.

And there were children, too. Running and playing in the streets. One little boy was chasing another, and he fell and stumbled onto the ground. I was amazed to see how the floor tiles beneath him shifted colors as he tumbled, from gold to blue to red. The fall looked painful, especially to his knees, but as he stood again, magic rose from the ground and repaired him instantly. He continued his running.

“Magic really is everywhere here,” I said as Solas guided me through the area.

He looked back at me. “Yes,” he replied. “It was as natural as breathing.” He pulled me to the side and paused in front of a store. “I used to frequent this bakery,” Solas said with a small smile, gazing toward its window. There were all kinds of cakes in there, each of them glowing as if they were lanterns.

“You really like frilly cakes, huh?” I asked, laughing at him. “Why are they glowing, though? It seems like it would taste funny.”

Solas laughed. “They were delicious,” he defended, staring at the confections. “Their magic held bursts of flavor that would surprise me in every bite.” The way he looked at that window, I swore he could have been a frilly cake spokesperson.

“I wish I could try them,” I said, stepping closer to the glass. So even the food here had magic.

Solas smiled sadly at me and started to walk again. He continued through another archway until finally stopping in a little clearing. “This was a cherished place of mine.” He let go of my hand to step away and observe me intently.

The sight took my breath away. We were on the edge of the city, and Solas had brought me to a small park that opened to the entire world. I could see Thedas beneath us, green and blue and brown. Puffs of clouds crawled over the continent, and squinting further I could see the ocean. There were other floating cities in the sky around us, shining like little castles in the air.

“This is amazing, hahren,” I told Solas, staring at the world in awe.

“This is what was lost,” he said quietly, “due to my actions.”

I looked over at him. His eyes surveyed the view, and his hands were clasped behind him. “It wasn’t all lost,” I said. He turned a curious gaze on me. “Thedas still endures.”

Solas broke eye contact, gazing up towards the sky, disappointed in my answer. His skin was glowing slightly, much more vibrant than what I was used to. He looked so young, this Solas from long ago.

I went and touched his arm. “Worlds evolve, Solas. They change, and grow.” I stared out at the cities in the clouds. “Elvhenan is gone,” I said, “but in its death, new life has emerged.” I turned back to Solas, studying him carefully. “Would you destroy this new world, too? Only for a chance to restore the old?”

He gazed at me intensely, eyes pouring into my own. “The People need me,” he said in a low voice.

“But what about my people? What about dwarves, Qunari?” I asked him. “Do they not matter?”

“Every life matters. But the People have suffered far too long because of me.” He looked longingly at the buildings of Arlathan, then brought his attention back towards me. “You have surprised me,” Solas said, approaching me closer. He lifted a hand to my cheek, and his thumb glided over my cheekbone. “The concern you have for the people here… for a world you do not come from.” He pulled his hand back and sighed. “I wish no harm to the other races; I only wish to restore mine.”

“Do you think the elves’ magic will return when you free the Evanuris?” I asked.

He swallowed. “No,” Solas said. “Not with the Veil.” He watched me for a moment and opened his mouth again, as if he was going to say more, but he turned away.

“What is it?” I touched his arm, but he would not turn.

“What would you do, Anna?” Solas said, still facing away. The timbre of his voice had deepened, sounding ominous and dark. “If you knew of a way to return home, but only at a terrible cost?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I guess it’d depend on what it is… but if it hurt people, then no. I couldn’t do it.”

“I suppose the answer is simple for you,” he said, still in that unsettling tone.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt people. Not if you didn’t have to.”

He was silent, continuing to keep his back toward me so I couldn’t see his expression. His tone was alarming. Solas had always described the pantheon as vengeful beings. If he released them, how much destruction would they cause before they were satisfied? Would they ever be satisfied?

“What is going to happen, Solas?” I asked. “What will the Evanuris do?”

“They will be angry when they wake,” he said, much quieter. “The world has changed much in their absence… but the People need them. There is no other option.”

“There has to be another way.”

Solas shook his head, and he turned to me again finally. His eyes were shining with tears, his expression distraught, and his lips trembled as they parted to say, “I—”

But an alarm suddenly broke out in the Fade, interrupting him. “The wards,” he said, startled. “Wake up.”

Chapter Text

We woke instantly, sitting up, and Solas reflexively reached for his staff. He tried to stand, but a warning arrow hit the ground near his feet. It was still the middle of the night, and I could barely make out the forest.

“Don’t move,” a deep voice in the shadows said. Solas froze, but his hand still grasped his staff.

The archer approached nearer, bow aimed at Solas, scrutinizing us. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see he was a Dalish elf, with markings on his face that hailed Elgar’nan. “A flat-ear and a shem,” he spat. “What brings you to these woods?”

“We were only resting,” Solas said, his jaw clenching. “We have a long journey ahead of us.”

“Journey to where?” the elf asked warily.

“Verchiel,” Solas lied. “I am escorting this woman there. She has lost a family member and is returning home.” The Dread Wolf’s mask showed no cracks of uncertainty.

The Dalish archer was still suspicious, though, and he gestured his head towards some unseen allies. A few more elves emerged from the trees, making four of them in total. They all had their bows drawn, pointing straight at our faces.

“Come with me,” the first archer said. They escorted us through the forest, winding deeper into the wood. One of the elves took our horses with him, while two others remained threateningly at our sides, and the Elgar’nan-marked elf led the front.

Firelight lit up an area ahead of us, and I realized we were headed towards a Dalish camp. I could hear music as we approached, and people were laughing and talking. We passed a (rather pissed-off-looking) Fen’Harel wolf statue, and I gave Solas a nudge. He only glanced at me sternly, concern all over his features.

We came to a clearing, and the rest of the Dalish clan were settled there. A huge party was going on. Everyone was drinking, and there was a big area for dancing. One corner of the camp had musicians and a singer, but they stopped playing the music upon our arrival. The encampment also had the usual Dalish stuff: aravels, halla, etc.

“Keeper Merriva!” our Elgar’nan-marked captor called. “We have found two trespassers!”

The Keeper groaned loudly. She was an older elven lady, her graying hair braided loosely around her head, tendrils trailing around her pointed ears. She had Mythal vallaslin like my Inquisitor. “Trespassers?” she asked dubiously. “Really, Jaren, today of all days?”

“But they were too close to the clan!” the elf named Jaren argued. “We can’t be letting strangers get this near. It’s dangerous!”

The Keeper raised a brow. “And what exactly were they doing?”

The hunter shifted a bit. “They were... they were, um, sleeping...” he said. “But this flat-ear is a mage! He set wards all in the forest, and it nearly burned me and Senhon!” he said indignantly.

Keeper Merriva rolled her eyes. “Release them, Jaren,” she commanded, quite annoyed. “I’m sure those wards were only for their safety.” She turned her gaze to the two of us. “What brings you to these woods?” she asked.

“We were only resting during our travels,” Solas explained. “We were unaware of your settlement. We mean you no harm.” His voice was calm and soothing, perfectly trustworthy (although I was slightly biased). He stood behind me, his hand grasping my arm protectively.

“He says he’s escorting this shem to Verchiel,” Jaren interjected.

The Keeper regarded the two of us curiously. “Well, I don’t see them causing any trouble,” she concluded. “And for the inconvenience Jaren has caused you, I invite you to stay with us tonight.”

“Ma serannas,” Solas thanked, “but we will be on our way. There is no need for us to intrude.”

“Oh, nonsense!” she said, smiling and dismissing us with a waving hand. “Tonight’s the Revas Festival, the more the merrier!” she exclaimed.

“The Revas Festival?” I asked.

“Yes,” the Keeper said, still smiling warmly, “we hold the event every year to mark the anniversary of our clan’s founding. And this year is extra celebratory because the hole in the sky closed!”

“Oh, fun!” I exclaimed excitedly. I turned my head towards Solas. “Can we stay? Please?” He looked extremely concerned, his brow furrowed.

“Anna, we should be leaving,” he urged.

I sighed. I was still tired, my sleep having been interrupted. A party sounded fun, so nice and relaxing...

“Oh, let the girl have some fun! The two of you look so weary...” Merriva observed.

I turned towards Solas. “Let’s just stay for a little while, please? I’m really tired, aren’t you?”

His hand still held my arm, and he gave it a squeeze. He didn’t like this idea at all; I could tell from the worry in his eyes. “Only until morning,” he hesitantly conceded.

I smiled. “Thank you.”

“Okay, so it’s settled!” the Keeper exclaimed. “Let everyone get back to the fun!” The elves all cheered (except for that dick Jaren). A few started playing some music again. Merriva walked closer to us. “Clan Nelaron welcomes you,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said with a smile. “I’m Anna, by the way, and this is Solas.” I pointed to the wolf behind me.

She bowed her head in acknowledgment. “I am Keeper Merriva. We don’t often have visitors, so please don’t feel offended by any... resistant behavior. No one will harm you here, I give you my word.” She smiled and walked away, leaving us to the party.

I jittered excitedly, and Solas finally let go of my arm. “What do you wanna do, hahren?” I asked. “It looks like some people are dancing. Do you wanna dance?” I smiled eagerly at him.

He shook his head. “No, da’len, I do not want to attract unnecessary attention.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think we’re past that point already.”

“Let us just sit and rest somewhere quietly,” he suggested.

I gave him a small smile. “Okay,” I agreed, taking his hand in mine. He quickly pulled his hand away though and cleared his throat, striding to another area of the camp. Right. Dalish would probably be weirded out by a human and elf being so close.

I followed Solas through the encampment, passing the dancing Dalish along the way, until I reached him near a large bonfire. He seated himself on a long wooden log and placed his staff at his feet.

“I’ll go get us something to drink, okay?” I said, patting his shoulder. He stood up.

“Then I will go with you,” he said.

“No, no!” I tried to push him back down. “Stay here, I’ll just be right back!” I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm.

“Anna, no. We will go together.”

I shrugged. “If you really want to, I guess.” He released my arm, and we walked together to some large casks of wine situated in a corner of the settlement. There were a couple of elves sitting on some stools next to it, a man and a woman, drinking out of large tankards. “Can we get some of that?” I asked them with a smile.

They considered us, eyes shifting between us both and then to each other. “Here,” the male elf said after a moment, filling a glass. He handed me the wine.

“Ma serannas,” I said, smiling.

He perked an eyebrow, amused by my Elvish phrase, and nodded. “Does your city friend want one, too?” he asked.

I looked at Solas, awaiting a response. “Yes, thank you,” the hobo answered. The Dalish elf handed him another. He examined the both of us, highly intrigued.

“Well, thanks again!” I said awkwardly, turning back towards the party. The two of us walked to our log and sat down. I sipped the wine, which was pretty good. “Hmmm, not bad, Clan Nelaron, not bad...” I looked at Solas. “Do you like it?”

He shrugged indifferently, watching the bonfire nearby.

“Come on, hahren! Don’t be so gloomy.” I took another sip. Fruity.

“We would not even be in this situation if I had been more careful,” he said bitterly.

“We’re fine now, Solas, and that’s all that matters.” I tried to console him by rubbing his arm with my hand. I drank some more wine. “And it’s a good chance to reevaluate those wards of yours.” Cough. (If he wanted me to know he wasn’t a god, I certainly saw that now...)

“We are lucky this clan is friendly. I have seen far too many Dalish kill without thought,” he said, staring into the fire.

“I know,” I said softly, ceasing my rubbing to take his hand instead, “but not all Dalish are like that. You can trust people sometimes.”

Solas sighed, squeezing my hand. He moved our linked palms between the two of us so it would be hidden from view. “I only trust you, Anna,” he said quietly.

I took another sip of the wine and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Isn’t it nice here?” I asked. “They’re so happy, like a big family.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “they are fortunate to find such camaraderie within their clan.”

“You can tell they really love each other, and care about each other,” I said. “Their clan is their home.”

His thumb caressed the skin of my hand. “I am glad for them,” he said morosely.

“You can have that, too, you know,” I suggested. “You can find a new family, a new home.”

“I know where my home is,” he said, “and it is long forgotten from this world.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “You can always find a new home.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“Yes, you could,” I said. “But I don’t reject this world because it’s different from mine. I just make the best of my situation and… I’ve learned to love living here. I feel at home now.”

“You do?” Solas asked, surprised.

“I think so,” I said, watching some elves dance together across the fire. “When I thought I might disappear after the battle with Corypheus... I was so scared of returning home, even though that’s where I’m supposed to be. But... I don’t know. I never felt like I belonged there either. Yeah, I was born there, raised there, but I didn’t feel particularly attached to it. I was always so caught up in fantasy, in dreams... I never wanted to face reality.” I paused to observe the impossible situation surrounding me. “And now that I live here... well, it’s like my fantasy has become reality, and I find it oddly comforting. Like I can actually be happy without worrying. At least, for however long I have left here.”

Solas had been quiet during my monologue, absently stroking my hand with his fingers. He rested his head atop of mine when I finished, though, and said gently, “I know exactly how you feel.”

It was my turn to be surprised. “Are you saying you’re happy here?” I asked.

He was silent a moment. “No,” he answered, “but I know what it is like to live only in dreams. To desire a reality that can never be... But this Thedas was never my fantasy.”

I sighed. “I know... but you never even gave it a chance.”

“I did,” he argued. “When I awoke, I did all I could to study these lands—learn its history and its people. And the more I learned, the further disconnected from it I felt. This is not my home. And this can never be my home, because I destroyed it long ago.” Solas exhaled, and took a sip of his wine. “These Dalish… they wear the vallaslin I fought so hard to eradicate. Anna—if you knew the struggle it took for me to free elvhen from such markings… and now they choose it. Willingly. Millennia of work just tossed aside.”

“But meanings change. The vallaslin—it doesn’t mean the same thing anymore. It’s not about slavery. It’s holding on to Elvhenan. Holding on to their lost history. That same history that you yourself are trying so hard to restore.”

Solas looked away. “Far from it, da’len. I want to create a new world. One where my people do not need to live in fear. From the Evanuris or otherwise.”

“And what do you think the pantheon will do, if not try to enslave them again?" I drank my glass. “It’d probably be easy, Solas. The Dalish already worship them, and city elves struggle so much they may turn to whoever promises better. Is that what you’d prefer? For them to rule again?”

He swallowed. “No, it is not. But they are the only power I know of who can protect them. Who would protect them. And the only force which could unite them as they once were.”

“But—aren’t you scared that they’ll become just as merciless as before? And with the other races in Thedas now… What if all they do is kill?”

Solas said nothing as he stared out into the fire.

“If you’re gone, then who would be there to stop them? They need you, Solas. The elves need you here.” I pressed against him. “I need you here.”

“You do not need me, Anna,” he said gently. “And if I abandon my plans, then what? You claim your time is limited here, so you will desert me as well.”

“We don’t know that,” I said. “I may not disappear.”

He huffed a laugh. “You change arguments only when it suits you.”

“Do you have to release them now? Couldn’t you wait a little longer to learn more about this world?” I asked. “Or… to at least spend time with me until I go, too?”

Solas squeezed my hand. “A day would turn to a week, a week to a month. Years pass, and the People suffer all the while. I understand this is difficult for you, but I cannot justify delaying it.”

I didn’t answer for a while. I continued to stare at the dancing Dalish, focusing my eyes on their laughter and smiles. Solas was being grim and fatalistic. And I was pretty sure it wasn’t to get me into bed.

“I want you to be happy, hahren,” I said quietly. “Modern Thedas isn’t like Elvhenan, but that doesn’t mean it can’t make you happy.” I moved my head to look him in the eye. “You can be happy if you allow yourself to be.”

“I do not know how to be happy. Not when the guilt of my actions consumes me.”

“How can you say that?” I demanded. “How can you say that when you act so happy with me?” I placed my forehead on his arm in frustration. “Can’t I make you happy?”

“You have made me happier than I ever thought possible,” he said softly, “but I cannot betray my people... and myself.”

“I love you,” I said in a whisper, my head still planted on his arm. “I don’t want you to die.”

He turned, causing me to gaze up at him. He placed both hands on my arms, his eyes pouring into mine, so full of sadness and pain.

“Uh,” a voice said, interrupting the moment, “Merriva told me to come over.”

We both looked up to see that asshole Jaren, who was standing there holding his own glass of wine. “She told me to apologize,” he said (rather unwillingly), “for treating you like trespassers.”

“It’s fine, really,” I said quickly, wanting him to leave.

His expression scrunched up into disdain, distorting the lines of his vallaslin. “I don’t need a shem’s approval,” he spat rudely.

I rolled my eyes, but Solas stood suddenly. “Apologize immediately,” he demanded.

Jaren was taken aback, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. I couldn’t see Solas’s expression, but whatever it looked like changed the Dalish’s mind. “I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. He backed away a few steps before turning to leave.

Solas sat back down, still fuming. “I cannot believe the nerve of these Dalish.”

“It was only him, hahren,” I corrected.

He glared angrily into the fire. “It was enough.”

I sighed. Was he ever going to accept modern elves? Stupid Jaren. He had to be the most stereotypical Dalish ever. I tipped my head back, staring into the starry night instead. There were two moons in the sky, although one was bigger and brighter than the other.

I shouldn’t lie to myself. The only reason I felt at home in Thedas was because of this wolf beside me.

Chapter Text

I noticed my glass was empty now, so I stood up. “I’m getting some more wine,” I told Solas. I walked over to the casks again, and he didn’t follow. I was relieved that he stayed behind, feeling frustrated by his behavior and his unwillingness to change his mind. It was like everything I said just went through one pointy ear and straight out the other. Why can’t he accept this world?

I reached the wine kegs, and the two elves were still sitting there. I asked the same guy again, “Could I have some more, please?”

The elf smiled, taking my flagon from me. He filled it and handed it back. “Having fun?” he asked.

I shrugged, frowning, my posture hunched in a depressed fashion.

“Your city friend isn’t very good company, is he?” the elf asked with a smile.

I smiled back, trying to be polite. “He’s... tired,” I explained lamely. Tired of your people.

“My name is Therion,” he introduced. “This is Ariasa,” he said, pointing to the woman beside him.

I nodded. “I’m Anna.”

He grinned a bit wider, in almost a mischievous way. “So... what’s your relationship with that guy, anyway?” he asked. Relationship?

I shrugged, sitting down on a stool beside him. I had little desire to return to that hobo. “Nothing, really,” I said with a sigh. “Just your average da’len-hahren sort of thing.”

Therion laughed, raising a brow. “What?” he asked. “But the two of you are...” He laughed again, looking at Ariasa beside him. “Did you hear that?” he asked her, as if I wasn’t sitting right there. I guess it would be pretty weird to hear from a human, though.

“So you two aren’t together, then?” Ariasa asked with an unexpectedly serious look towards me.

“Nope,” I said, taking a big gulp of my drink. “Not in the least,” I said bitterly. Sigh.

“Great,” she chirped, hopping up and walking away. I watched as she headed straight for Solas, perching her slender figure beside him on the log. A jealous panic came over me, but I washed it away with some more wine. No, I thought, he wouldn’t do anything with her. That’d be so unlike him…

“Do you want to dance?” Therion asked me suddenly, a smirk on his lips. He was pretty good-looking, I supposed. He had a strong jaw and golden brown skin, with dark hair braided down his back. His face wore Andruil’s vallaslin.

I swallowed another mouthful of wine, feeling the alcohol burn through my veins. “Um, yes,” I said. I was starting to feel buzzed from my drinking, and dancing was an exciting distraction. I should be able to enjoy this party at least somewhat. Bring on the dancing!

He smiled, offering me a hand to help me up. “Let’s go, then,” he said. This Therion seemed like a nice enough guy, after all.

I followed him to the other dancing elves, who moved rhythmically in an area near the musicians. They danced completely differently from the Orlesian ball in Halamshiral. It was much more natural... primal, in a way, their bodies happily shaking to the music. There was no Game, no masks, no secrets—just elves having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

As we walked, I unbuckled my hunter coat, folding it neatly on the outskirts of the dancers. I didn’t want my armor hindering my moves. Therion led me to the middle of the group and turned towards me, giving me a little smiling nod. He started bouncing to the rhythm, hopping and swinging his limbs to the music. It was quite graceful, in a folksy sort of way, and I tried to imitate it as best I could. I laughed as I clumsily attempted to fit in with the others, but soon my body took on its usual form, swaying and spinning in habitual movements.

My partner laughed, too, and it felt nice to just let myself go along with all the elves. After a little while, Therion grabbed me by the waist and hand, and we started skipping along to the music together. He swung me around, and our hands would continuously break and join together repeatedly in natural patterns.

The music was upbeat and fun, and all the dancers were hot and giddy with excitement. Therion and I kept laughing and smiling, and when the song ended, we both stood there heavily out of breath. “You’re a great dancer,” he complimented, grinning.

I smiled. “So are you,” I said. I had been surprisingly comfortable.

“I’ve never seen dancing like that,” he observed, somewhat astonished-sounding.

“Shh,” I said, putting a finger to my lips, “It’s a shem secret.”

He laughed, and another song started. He inclined his head towards me, a half-smile on his lips, his expression clearly asking for another round. I smiled, and we started dancing again. This song was fast and bouncy like the previous one, and we fell into a similar rhythm.

Dancing like this helped me forget my current wolf problems. I should just enjoy myself, live life in the time I have left...

So I danced and danced, and not always with Therion, either. We continued to spin, changing partners and grinning with everyone else. I felt like I touched hands with everyone there after a few songs, and the way we moved in such synchronization, it nearly felt practiced. But it wasn’t, and that was the beauty and joy of it all.

I eventually became too tired to continue, and Therion walked back with me to the wine casks. I picked up my coat along the way, wrapping it over my forearm and feeling thankful for the cool night air. My body had heated considerably from the dancing. I felt fatigued and... a little turned on. The elves’ dancing style was not very modest, and the constant skin-on-skin contact had left me wanting more.

I sat down on one of the stools again, glancing across the camp towards Solas. He made eye contact with me as I did so, but his expression was completely blank. That Ariasa elf was still sitting beside him, too. I looked away and leaned back, resting on the side of the large barrel and trying not to think anything of it.

“So...” Therion said, bringing my attention back to him, “... if you and that guy aren’t together… Have you ever been with an elf before?” he asked with a suggestively sly eyebrow in the air.

I laughed a little. “No...” I said shyly.

“Ah,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “That’s very convenient, you see, because I’ve never been with a human before.” He smiled at me, his expression full of implication.

My face got very hot. This guy was forward. Although, maybe it was common among the Dalish to be so suggestive after dancing like that.

“Oh, really?” I said, chuckling nervously. My eyes examined this Therion a little more closely. His body was lithe and lean, the way most elves looked. From his dancing alone, he seemed like he knew how to show a lady a good time...

Maybe it was the wine talking, but the longer I considered it, the more I thought, why not? What would be so wrong with having a little fun? I was sick of Solas’s indomitable angst. I glanced towards the hobo again. He was still sitting there with Ariasa, and it seemed like they were talking. She placed her hand on his knee, and I averted my eyes back to Therion.

“I’m pretty tired, actually,” I told the elf abruptly. “I’ve been traveling all day. You wouldn’t happen to know a good place to sleep, would you?”

He raised a brow. “I know just the place,” Therion said, standing up and offering a hand to me again. I took it and followed him through the settlement. We approached a few rows of aravels, and he led me to one near the center. The elf walked up a little ramp and looked back at me. “You can sleep here,” he said with a smile. “This is my aravel.”

I nodded, following him up the ramp, but someone grabbed my wrist behind me, preventing me from continuing. I looked back to see Solas holding my arm. “Keeper Merriva has already allocated an aravel for us, Anna,” he said, his voice even. He was glaring menacingly at Therion, though.

The Dalish elf laughed. “Sorry, hahren, I didn’t know.” He leaned his body against the aravel. “Goodnight, Anna,” Therion said with a grin. “I enjoyed dancing with you.”

“Bye,” I said as Solas began to pull me away. The wolf dragged me throughout the rows of aravels, not even checking to see if I was okay (which I wasn’t really because I kept stumbling all over the place like a drunken idiot).

He halted in front of one, and I crashed clumsily into him. “The Keeper informed me this aravel is for guests,” Solas commented. He looked down at me, his eyes reflecting the dim light. “She told me we could stay here.” When did this conversation happen??

“Uh, okay,” I said, befuddled.

Solas walked up the ramp and opened the door. He gestured for me to enter first. I did as he requested, and he closed it behind us. The aravel was pretty cozy, with little lanterns hanging from the ceiling and random Dalish knick-knacks on some shelves. I noticed there was only one bedroll, however, although it was pretty wide. A double bedroll?

“You may sleep, da’len,” Solas said. He locked the door and drew a rune on it. It glowed for a few seconds before disappearing.

At this point, I did feel really, really tired, and pretty drunk as well. I hobbled over to the bedroll, taking off another layer of clothing and tossing it to the side. Once I was down to my light cotton undershirt and smalls, I sank into the bed, pulling the covers over me.

“Your dancing was lovely,” Solas said quietly. I looked over to see he was still near the door, although seated now with his back to me.

“I didn’t know you were watching,” I said, my tone acidic. He didn’t respond, and only continued to sit there. What is he even doing? “Aren’t you gonna sleep, hahren?” I asked.

“I will keep watch,” he said determinedly. He can’t be serious.

“Solas!” I said, sitting up again. “We are perfectly safe. You don’t need to stay up.”

He still had his back turned to me, planted in front of the door. “I will not make that mistake again,” he said gloomily.

I sighed in exasperation. He seemed so sad and remorseful, and I couldn’t let him just sulk there all night. I crawled over towards him on my hands and knees and snaked my arms around his waist, placing my chin on his shoulder. “Please sleep, Solas,” I said softly into his ear. I pressed my body closer to his, giving him a little hug.

I craned my neck to give him a kiss on the cheek. It was slow and drawn out, and when I finished, I didn’t pull away, either. It was so nice to be this close to him... I let my nose and lips graze along his skin, until I was nuzzling his neck. I caught his scent, and it smelled so good. I moaned against him. “I want you,” I whispered into his skin, “to rest.”

Solas tensed instantly in my arms, his body becoming rigid. “Go to sleep,” he warned. “I will remain here.”

I sighed and let him go. I scurried back to the bedroll, pulling the blanket over me. I felt so embarrassed that I started to cry a little, but I didn’t think he heard.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

Chapter Text

It was so dry here. My throat was parched. The sun beat down on my back, merciless like hot flames. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and I was surrounded by sand. Dunes upon dunes, mountains of miniscule pebbles. I felt a light wind, but it only seemed to make it worst, blowing sand into my eyes and catching in my mouth.

It was horrible. I hated this place. My feet sunk into the dry earth with every step as I stumbled through the desert. I wanted to escape.

I made it over a dune, and saw some small figures in the distance. There were four of them, tiny people that looked like black specks, the only other discernible objects in this wasteland. “Hey!” I shouted and waved my arms, trying to grab their attention. “Over here!”

They didn’t respond, but came closer into view. They were still quite a way away, but I could see who they were now. It was the Inquisitor, with Varric, Cassandra, and Solas. They were trekking the wasteland, and Lavellan’s left palm was shining brightly, aimed in my direction.

“Inquisitor, please help!” I said.

And soon they were there, right in front of me. All their weapons pointed straight at me, their eyes narrowed menacingly on my face.

“It ends here!” Lavellan cried. Her palm shot out electric green light that flew towards me, encapsulating me in a glowing, magical prison.

“No! Please, stop!” I pleaded. It was painful, and I was writhing around in the air now. Varric, Cassandra, and Solas began to attack me, too, throwing their strongest blows at my body.

“You don’t belong in this world,” the Inquisitor said, twisting her palm to strengthen the Anchor’s magic.

“Solas, please don’t do this!” I begged the elf, locking my eyes with his. He was unseeing, though, continuing to cast spell after spell. I was only a target to be defeated.

“Anna!” came his voice, and the figures all disappeared. I landed in the sand, the pain now gone. Solas’s arms came around my waist from behind, and I realized it was a dream. “I’m here,” he said to my ear.

I was overcome by the violence of the dream, the hatred in their eyes... in his eyes. I felt distraught and sick from the thought of him hating me, of him abandoning me without feeling... “How did she just let you leave?” I asked him quietly. “How did she let you go?”

“Who, da’len?” he asked, still holding me at my back.

“The Inquisitor,” I choked out. I thought I was crying, but it was hard to tell in the Fade sometimes—like the emotion was there, but I couldn’t feel the tears.

He paused a moment, contemplating. “I told her I would die, and that it was my dying wish to leave,” he explained softly.

The steadiness of his voice soothed me a bit, and I noticed there were no winds now, and the sun no longer burned. But what he said to Lavellan... “That’s so cruel, Solas,” I cried.

Solas turned me around in his arms so I was facing him. “Crueler than leaving without any other explanation?” he asked, defensive.

“No, but... it’s manipulative,” I said, looking up into his eyes. He was his normal hobo self, his gaze tender and soft, and I found that comforting.

“I know,” he said, touching my hair with a hand, “but I had few options for what I could tell her.”

I felt so overwhelmed from the dream, from his words... I cared so much for him now, it was like he was my entire world. Was this how Lavellan felt about him? How could she ever let him go if she did?

I wanted to live with Solas, happy and free, and doing whatever we pleased. I wanted to dance with him, laugh with him, touch him, hold him, kiss him... Why couldn’t I have that? Why was life so unfair?

“I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to leave. I can’t do what the Inquisitor did; I can’t let you go,” I said in a muttering rush.

“Anna,” he said, pulling my head to his chest. “Please.”

“How can she let you go if she still loves you? How could she ever?” I asked into his tunic.

Solas gently rubbed my back. “I’m not certain she ever did love me,” he said quietly.

WHAT?! I pulled away to stare into his eyes. “What do you mean? What are you saying?” There was no way that could be true...

He sighed, gazing out into the Fade-desert. “She had doubts,” he explained, “about what we had.”

I shook my head, suddenly angry that she would make him feel worse than he already did. “You know it was real, Solas,” I said, determined.

“Yes, but... she told me ‘real love doesn’t keep secrets the way you did.’” His voice was impossibly quiet as he recited her words.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” I said, touching his cheek with my fingers. He had so much guilt, every bit of his face looked mournful.

“She said she was numb to it all now,” he continued, his eyes still off in the distance, “because I was never truly with her in the first place.”

“She was just lashing out,” I tried to assure him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him tight. Please just be happy, forgive yourself...

“And she told me I would only hurt you, as well.”

“Me?” I asked, looking up at him.

He met my eyes. “Her words were very honest... and I cannot help but see the truth in them.” Solas stood perfectly still, his eyes glowing slightly as he gazed at me.

“You loved her. That was real,” I said. I couldn’t let him think otherwise. She was the only modern elf he truly cared for.

He hesitated a moment. “Yes... But not enough to see past my own selfishness. Not enough to save her from the pain.”

“You shouldn’t punish yourself. Everyone deserves some happiness.”

“I am long past deserving.” His voice was so faint, so distant.

“You aren't.” I pressed my cheek against his chest again. “And besides, she’s a lot stronger than you think. I’m sure she’s doing fine.”

“You are right,” he said, resting his head on mine. “She is able to move on... No, she already has.”

“You think so?” Has she moved on? Was that why she said those things? Was that why she let him leave?

“Yes. I believe so,” Solas said. “And this eases my mind...”

“Well, that’s good?” I said, now confused. He was upset and yet... relieved?

Solas pulled away to look at me again. “Excuse me, da’len. I am not used to expressing myself to others.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What are you trying to say, hahren?”

“I only bring others pain.” He lifted a hand to my cheek. “I will only bring you pain, Anna.”

“You’re wrong. You’re completely wrong.” I hugged him tighter, refusing to let him go. I stared up into his sorrowful blue eyes. “You’re the only one who makes me happy.”

Solas exhaled, and he looked so pained. “I never anticipated meeting you. I never meant to let this get so far...”

“I didn’t either! But I’m here, and it did,” I argued. “And I can’t let you go.”

“Anna,” he said in a whisper.

“Stay with me, Solas. Let’s just go somewhere together, let’s find a new home,” I pleaded. Don’t leave me, don’t die.

“I can’t!” he said harshly, letting me go. “There are more important things than us!” he shouted passionately. “I have to right this world, why can’t you understand?!” He turned from me, stepping away and grabbing his head in anguish.

The Fade rippled angrily and then ended in a sudden blackness.

* * *

I woke up feeling miserably tired with a heavy weight on my stomach. I blinked, confused by the pressure on my abdomen, until I realized it was Solas’s arm. He lay beside me, his hand curled around my waist, anchoring me flush to his body. His arm was under my shirt, too, so that my bare skin touched his hand, and his face was buried deep into my hair, close to my ear.

I felt so shocked by the difference between my dream and waking life. He had been so angry, so severe just seconds ago, but now he was... cuddling. Quite hypocritically, really. Though he was probably unaware, and this was just some natural(??) activity for him.

I couldn’t help but feel happy from the affection, even if it agonized me to know he was oblivious. Maybe he wanted me, too, on some level if he was behaving like this... I was also embarrassingly aware of how barely clothed I was. Why do I act so recklessly when I’m drunk??

I wondered why Solas had decided to sleep after all, and why he was still sleeping. I had assumed both of us would wake up after that conversation, but his change of the Fade must have only woken me up. What was he still dreaming about?

I tried to pull away to get a better view of his face, hoping to find some answers. But the moment I did it, he growled. It was a low, feral sort of noise, and one that I had never heard from him before. Solas immediately pulled me back to him, burrowing his nose further into my hair until he reached my neck. His hand moved up from my stomach to my ribcage. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Was he feeling me up right now??

He continued to pull my body until I was tightly squeezed against him. The wolf inhaled deeply and moaned. Then he kissed my neck, and I gasped in surprise.

Solas finally woke from the noise, and he hugged me a bit closer, sighing. Then his eyes blinked open, and all the muscles of his body stiffened around me at the realization of our predicament. He wrenched his arm from me and scooted away.

My heart raced as I turned my head to look into his eyes. His were huge—dilated and panicked. I shifted closer to him, and he continued to back away until he was pressed against the wall of the aravel.

“I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “I didn’t—”

“I don’t mind,” I said hurriedly. “You can touch me.” I moved closer and took his hand, placing it on my hip. I slid it under my shirt again. “I like it.”

“I—” Solas swallowed, eyes darting from mine to his hand. “We shouldn’t.”

“If you want to touch me, then touch me.” My voice was a soft murmur. I took my hand off his and placed it on his cheek, inching closer. “If you want to kiss me...”

“Anna,” he said, biting his lower lip. His hand gripped my side, pulling me closer as his breathing grew heavier.

“What do you want?” I whispered, staring into his eyes. I was so close to him, I could count every freckle on his face. “Tell me, Solas.”

Solas didn’t answer, but he wasn’t turning away. I needed to seize this opportunity while I had it. This rare, unguarded moment from him. I took one last look into his eyes before closing my own and meeting his lips with mine.

He remained perfectly still, hesitant and cautious. But I pressed deeper, I wanted him so badly. I placed a hand on his neck, bringing him even closer and lightly caressing his bottom lip. He was so warm, his mouth so soft, and all I wanted was more.

Solas moaned and finally kissed me back, grasping and molding me to him. His lips moved tenderly and full of longing, but still I could sense some resistance.

A hand moved to my cheek, cradling my head at first, before gently pulling me away until our lips broke apart. “We can’t, Anna,” he murmured. “It will only make this harder, only cause more pain.”

“Why?” I cried in agony, pressing my forehead against his.

“You know why,” he said, turning his head. He withdrew from me and sat up.

“I don’t, I really don’t,” I said hopelessly as I watched him put his gear on, his back towards me. He remained silent, refusing to answer, as he finished and stepped out the door.

I buried my face in my hands, curling into a ball on the wooden floor. Tears streamed down my face as a depression washed over me, the rejection taking its hold.

How could I be so stupid? Solas would never choose me. It wasn’t meant to be.

Chapter Text

I calmed down after lying alone in the aravel for a while. It wasn’t a terribly long time, maybe a half hour. It’s fine, I thought to myself. This is just how he is. His duty would always take priority. Always. It was coded in his soul.

I got dressed and headed out the door. It was still morning, and I felt exhausted and depressed. How did I honestly believe we could be together, that I could stop him from his mission? It meant everything to him. It meant more than me.

As I exited, I noticed Solas sitting in the grass on the other side of the camp, facing the forest with his back turned to me.

I didn’t feel ready to talk to him yet, so I meandered around the camp, observing the aftermath of the previous night’s festivities. There were hungover elves passed out everywhere, lying in different positions in every corner. I was pretty sure at least some of them got down (if you know what I mean), not even bothering to go into an aravel or behind a tree. All of them had such a wonderful night. Lucky bastards.

Some of the Dalish were awake though, beginning their morning routines. An elf nearby set up a booth, and I realized she was a trader of some sort. I approached the woman. “Good morning!” I greeted, trying to sound as pleasant as possible. If I sound happy, I may trick myself into actually feeling happy...

I looked over her table of wares. She was a weapons seller who specialized in daggers and bows. “Anything interest you?” she asked me with a curious expression on her face.

“Hmmm.” I considered the weapons, holding a dagger closer to my view. Like I could ever stab a guy. I set the knife back down.

“Do you actually shoot with that bow?” a voice surprised me from behind. Therion stepped up beside me, smirking a little. He twanged the string of my bow that hung from my back.

I shrugged. “I don’t have anything else,” I replied, annoyed.

He lifted his chin, acknowledging the trader. “Get her one of the good ones, yeah?”

The seller half-smiled and brought out a longbow with beautiful branch engravings. “Ohhh,” I cooed, eyeing the bow’s craftsmanship.

“Superb elven quality,” Therion bragged, nodding towards the weapon. “And I can assure you, it will be exceptionally easier to aim than that.” He pointed to my hanging longbow.

I took the bow from the trader’s hands, holding it as if shooting. I noticed the arrow rest was a lot more pronounced on this bow, and the grip felt comfortable, too. “Okay,” I said, nodding to the seller. “How much?”

She arched a brow. “Eighty gold pieces,” she said in a very frank tone.

Say what?! That price was ridiculous! I set the bow on her table. “Heh,” I mumbled awkwardly, “Maybe not...”

“Come on, Vani,” Therion pleaded. “Sixty-five.”

The elf gave him a deadpan stare. “Seventy.”

“Sixty?” he asked, putting on a particularly charming expression.

“Seventy,” she repeated immovably, glaring now.

I opened my coin purse, checking my cash. Oh shit, I thought, glancing up at the two elves to see if they noticed. (They didn’t.) I’m fucking loaded.

“You know, I’m fine with seventy!” I exclaimed, bringing their attention to me. I started counting out the gold pieces on her small table. One... two... three… There has to be a better way to count money.

When I finally finished, I pushed the pile towards her. She smiled and handed me the bow, pleased with the sale. I smiled back. “And you can have my old one, too!” I said, taking the weapon from my back.

Therion coughed, as if trying to hide a laugh. “How, uh, generous of you,” he commented with a smirk.

I traced my finger along the engravings of my new bow’s handle. Pretty. There were even little leaves on the branches as well. I fastened it to my back and nodded at the seller, turning to walk away. Therion joined, falling into step with me. Sigh.

He had been pretty nice with helping me buy the bow, though. “Thanks for the bartering. And the recommendation, too,” I said to him. I huffed a laugh. “I guess I should have known someone with Andruil’s vallaslin would know a good bow.”

He smiled. “How do you know so much about elves? Did your hahren teach you that?” he asked, truly intrigued.

I shrugged, looking towards the ground. “I just like learning about elven culture,” I answered vaguely.

“Well, however you learned, I’m glad I met you,” Therion said with a smile. “I never thought humans would care about elves,” he said quietly.

“Well, some of us do,” I said. “We’re not all assholes.” I tried my best to smile.

He laughed. “Yeah, I guess you aren’t,” he said with a wink.

We were still walking together, although I didn’t know where to. I scanned the other traders as we went along, but none of them caught my interest. I was glad Therion was accompanying me now, though. He was a friendly elf who was easy to talk to, even though I wasn’t particularly in the mood for conversation. It was a welcome distraction.

“I hope I didn’t upset your hahren too much last night,” he said after a while.

I waved my hand to dismiss his apology. “Don’t worry about it. He just gets grumpy like that,” I explained. I briefly wondered what Therion would say if I told him who Solas really was. Fen’Harel is gonna getcha now, little boy!

Therion chuckled. “Are you two leaving today?” he asked.

“Probably,” I said with a sigh. There were no more shops to peruse, and I found myself near the edge of camp where Solas was still seated, motionless like a Dread Wolf statue.

“Well, if you ever run into Clan Nelaron again,” Therion said, taking a step away from me, “maybe we can finish what we started.” He grinned at me, the lines of his vallaslin curving happily around his mouth.

I gave him a tight-lipped smile and nodded. Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.

He nodded, still smiling, and backed away a few more steps before turning around to head off somewhere. I think he looks even better in daylight, I thought with a sigh.

I turned towards the hobo, who sat a good few paces away at the edge of the forest, cross-legged and pensive. I walked a few steps toward him, taking my time in moving one foot in front of the other.

“I am sorry,” Solas said at my approach, not even turning around. I paused.

“No...” I said, my eyes on his back. “I shouldn’t have done that. What I did… It was over the line, and I’m sorry.” I exhaled tiredly. “I still want to go with you, if you’ll let me, and I won’t try to stop you anymore. I know how important your quest is.”

He stood up and slowly turned around. “Thank you,” he answered softly. He looked dismal, and I was sure I had a similar expression.

I smiled a little. At least I’m not the only one feeling shitty. “Come on, wolf,” I said, gesturing a hand over my shoulder. “Let’s get out of here before these Dalish remember us crashing their party.”

He took a couple of steps toward me. “Would you like to stay with them?” he asked quietly.

I laughed in disbelief. “Are you serious? Did you forget I was a human or something?” I asked, pointing a finger at one of my ears.

“They would accept you,” Solas said, looking out at the camp behind me.

I raised an eyebrow. “Your opinion of the Dalish is weirdly higher, then.”

He cracked a small smile. “You are clearly a bad influence on me, da’len.”

“Ha!” I said, smacking him hard on the arm. “If anything, it’s me getting the bad influence.”

“I cannot argue with that,” he said, his smile growing wider. I love his stupid smile. I reached out to take his hand, out of habit, I supposed, but then pulled back.

Solas noticed the gesture but didn’t comment on it, his expression still a little sad. He instead headed towards our horses, and I followed.

We said our goodbyes to Keeper Merriva, who was just getting up for the day (and hungover). She gave us a wave, and we stalked off into the forest. Bye, Clan Nelaron! It was... well, nice until some emo wolf ruined it.

I followed Solas and his horse through the trees, remaining silent all the while. His sense of direction must be loads better than mine because I had no idea which way to go, and yet he walked this forest as if it was his home. Was it ever his home? The thought intrigued me, but I didn’t ask him. Whatever.

We eventually reached the end of the wood, and Solas deftly mounted his horse. I hopped upon mine, and we were off, galloping our way through the Dales.

Solas didn’t ride as quickly as he had in the previous days, and I wondered if he thought we were no longer being searched for. But, yet again, I did not ask. What does it matter, anyway?

We both rode in silence, passing hills and animals and old ruins. As we traveled, I wondered what he had thought of the kiss. Solas had told me he loved me, before the battle with Corypheus, when he thought it would be the last goodbye. Did he only say it to be kind? What did ar lath ma even mean to Solas? It wasn't like he called me vhenan. I was just da’len, which literally meant “little child.” I frowned. Maybe I’m just a stupid kid he always has to keep in line... Like, no, no, da’len, you must not molest me.

But he was very old. Wasn’t everyone a child to him? I decided to just ask him. I’d had enough of this silence between us, anyway.

“Why do you call me da’len?” I said as we rode along.

Solas turned his attention to me, his brow perking in the air. “Because you asked me to?” he said, confused.

“Isn’t it a bit strange, though?”

He laughed, incredulous. “Yes,” he replied. “I have always thought so, but it was what you requested.”

“Well... maybe you should stop.”

Solas frowned, and he looked ahead at the grassy landscape. “Is that what you want?”

“I’m not a child.”

He glanced at me again. “I never thought you were.”

My cheeks warmed a little. “Maybe you should call me something else, then.” I stared out at the fields around us and saw a herd of halla in the distance, trotting along a river.

“Is your name not sufficient?’ he said, sounding humored.

“No.” I turned to him again. “That’s what everyone else calls me.”

Solas hummed, and he was smiling now. “If I am not to call you da’len, then you cannot call me hahren.”

“Why not?” I said, feeling (unreasonably) indignant now. “You are older than me.”

“The term means more than only age. It is a title for a leader. Someone you respect.”

Respect? “Oh, then yeah,” I said, smiling back at the elf. “I shouldn’t call you that.”

Solas was still smiling, and he looked ahead again, gazing at the horizon. The sun was beginning to set, casting everything in a golden light. “Da’nera,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“What I can call you instead.”

“But what does it mean?”

He turned to me, a smirk on his mouth. “Oh? Has your Elvhen failed you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t ‘da’ still little?”

“Yes,” he said. “And you are small. For a human.”

I exhaled noisily. “I’m just short.”

“Little dream,” Solas said, smiling, his eyes shimmering from the light. “That is the meaning.”

Little dream? I blinked at him, my face burning. I’d expected him to say something teasing, like “little annoyance” or “hot mess” or “weird human” or a thousand other names that made more sense for me, but not a name so... lovely and cute. “Why call me that?” I asked, voice now quiet.

Solas shrugged, and he gazed ahead again. “It feels like you.” His mouth still had the curl of a smile, and his posture was relaxed as he rode along. The sunset behind him made a halo around his silhouette, as if his whole body glowed. He was so beautiful it hurt.

“But what will I call you?”

He chuckled. “You already have too many names for me. I will not give you another.”

“But I want to call you something in Elvish—and not just Fen’Harel.” I paused to consider Solas a moment, and what he meant to me. How much he’d done for me, and was still doing for me, though he didn’t need to at all. I cared for him so deeply. And he could be so unexpectedly sweet sometimes, calling me little dream… It felt unbearable, how much my heart ached for him. “What’s the word for happiness?”

He arched a brow. “Nehn.”

I smiled. “Then I’ll call you ma nehn.”

Solas frowned, snapping his eyes forward again. “You cannot call me that,” he said, his ears getting pink.

“Why not?” I asked.

“It is meant for—for someone specific. And I—No. It is not for me.” He seemed almost… flustered?

My brows lifted. Okay. “Fine. Then I’ll call you…” I took a few moments to sift through the limited Elvish words I knew. Like abelas, serannas, fenedhis... I snorted a little, imagining how he'd react to me calling him fenedhis. But Solas had been so sincere with his name, I wanted to be as well. If only I knew more words. Another minute passed of me thinking, before I finally remembered the perfect word. “Lethallin,” I said, grinning.

Solas said nothing, still keeping his gaze from me, but I noticed how his jaw clenched and his grip tightened on the reins he held. A darkness clouded his expression, and the lighthearted mood between us shifted to something heavy and foreboding as the silence stretched on.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, growing increasingly worried at his change.

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “You ask me to run away with you, and now you call me lethallin,” Solas said in a low voice, all playfulness now gone. “Another one of your ploys.”

“Ploys? It was just a word, Solas.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “It is not just a word. Not to me,” he said, glaring from his horse. “This is my language. Every word I say to you is translated from it. And you call me things like lethallin and ma nehn, as if they have no meaning. Like they are merely colorful adornments to add to your speech.”

I gaped at him in shock. “Solas, no. I don't think that!” I shook my head. “I say it—I say it because I want to speak your language.”

“You say it to manipulate me,” he accused, his gaze piercing. “Do you know how difficult this is for me? This journey of death?” He exhaled. “And you make it so much harder, Anna.”

“I’m—I’m sorry, I won’t call you those things anymore,” I said, tears stinging my eyes. “I wasn’t thinking.”

He stared ahead. “Why did you have to follow me?” he asked quietly.

My lips trembled. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Solas didn’t answer, but he kicked his mare so that he wouldn’t have to ride beside me anymore. The horse galloped away, and I watched as he got further and further from me. Then I started to cry for real.

Why did I follow him? Everything I tried seemed to make the situation worse. I would never convince him to stop, and he was going to die. And even if I did somehow stop him, would he ever even be happy, anyway? Wouldn’t he just have that constant “what if” plaguing his mind?

Lethallin must’ve meant quite a lot to Solas, if it was enough to drive him off like that. I supposed it would. He had lost all his people, and I wasn’t anything like them. I was a human, a mortal. I didn’t have magic. It must be a slap in the face to claim we were alike.

I’d never be his lethallan or his vhenan. I wasn’t even his da’len anymore. I was an unwelcome tagalong. A nobody. Nothing.

Chapter Text

We rode separately for a while, though Solas was never far enough to escape my view. When the last light of the sun had disappeared into the horizon, I saw him dismount and caught up to him.

“Solas, I was being insensitive,” I said immediately as I got off my own horse. “I know lethallin doesn’t mean the same to me as it does to you, and I’m sorry.”

He was silent with his back to me. “We can rest here for the night,” he eventually said, ignoring my apology. He led his horse silently ahead of me. Fuck.

Well… at least he was still letting me stay with him.

Solas had brought us to a ruin this time, and it was probably the creepiest place we were to sleep in yet. The exterior was overgrown with vines and moss, covering crumbling stones. It led underground, and inside it was completely black from darkness.

Seriously, Solas??? “Um… where are we?” I asked him anxiously as I followed him.

He looked back at me then, his figure now covered in shadow. “It is a cursed place,” he said in low voice, then continued on. WHAT THE FUCK?!

I stopped walking, standing with my mare at the entrance. “Cursed?!” I exclaimed. “Are you serious? Why are we staying here??”

Solas sighed. He had been carefully leading his mount down the descending path of this ruin (tomb???), but paused to gaze back at me. “Do not let your superstitions overcome you.”

“Superstitions?! You’re the one who said it was cursed! And I’ve seen plenty of walking corpses”—playing the game, that is—“to know that ‘cursed’ is bad.” And you’re walking barefoot down there.

The clatter of his horse’s hooves stopped, indicating that Solas had made it to the bottom, but I couldn’t even make out his figure. “It is the ruins of my temple,” he said tiredly from below. All I could see were his eyes faintly glimmering up at me. “This is all that remains.”

“Oh,” I said, and then I led my mare downwards. Hesitantly, though. I still could barely see. “It’s really dark in here,” I whispered. (I didn’t know why I was whispering but probably because of how extremely dark and creepy this place was.) Once I reached the bottom, it was completely black, and I lost all vision whatsoever. I tripped on something, but Solas’s strong arms caught me.

He steadied me, his hands on my body causing me to hold my breath. Letting me go, he cast a veilfire in a beacon beside us, which lit the room dramatically. I squinted from the sudden burst of light, but then noticed how close Solas was to me, his face somber and sad. He watched me intensely, saying nothing, his lips in a hard line.

“No one should disturb us here,” he said quietly, the fire making the shadows of his face menacing. Perhaps I’d worn his patience too thin, and he’d just kill me. I’d gone too far insulting him with my Elvish, too much of a burden on his mission to continue to let me live! I swallowed.

But Solas only turned away from me. He took his mount to a nearby wall, hitching her reins to a jagged stone in it. He spoke softly to her in Elvish, as he usually did, patting her muzzle.

I examined my surroundings, interested in seeing what the Temple of Fen’Harel was now like. It seemed like a large basement-y sort of area. The ceiling was flat, as if it had more floors, although from the outside I hadn’t seen anything above it.

The walls were made of stone, and angled lines of crystal cut through them in beautiful patterns that glinted by the firelight. I saw four Fen’Harel statues in the room, each occupying a corner and howling towards the covered sky. Besides these features, there was little else that hinted at it once being a temple.

Stone rubble was all around us, giant rocks covered in moss. The air was damp in here, and it was cold. Solas had lit the veilfire in a sort of large brasier-thing, and it stood shining in the center. He had sat down beside it now, his back resting against a large boulder. I tethered my own horse and walked towards him.

“I’m sorry about your temple,” I said, sitting down next to him.

“It is fine. I never wanted it to begin with,” he said bitterly. He seemed almost angry again.

I panicked at his tone. Thoughts worriedly flew through my mind. Of him deserting me, forcing me back to Skyhold, or maybe just leaving without a word in the middle of the night... He was getting sick of me and had no reason to keep me around. What would I do?

“Then I’m sorry I followed you,” I said, desperately trying to prevent his abandonment. “I’m sorry I ruined all your plans, and that I’m useless and just… drag you down,” I said pathetically. Tears pooled in my eyes, one blink away from spilling over.

“Anna,” he said, his expression softening. “You are not useless.”

“But I am. I should have learned more here by now,” I cried. “So you wouldn’t have to do everything for me all the time.”

“It is not your fault you come from a different realm,” Solas said, his voice much gentler now. “How can you compare the skills gained from months to those from millennia? I would not expect that of anyone.”

My mouth twisted. “But you still didn’t want me to follow you.”

“No, I did not.” His face turned somber. “You could have been happy if you remained in Skyhold. You could have lived freely, and under protection.”

“No,” I argued, shaking my head. “I would have just worried constantly about you.”

Solas leaned his head on the boulder, closing his eyes. “You would have stopped worrying eventually,” he said sadly.

No, I wouldn’t. No matter what he did, it felt impossible to imagine never thinking about him, never worrying, never caring... How could he think that? I examined him, the way his body slouched against the rock. He looked so broken and tired, like he had lost everything.

I put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing him lightly and trying to comfort him. “Why would you say that? You know that’s not true. Don’t you know how much I care about you?”

“It is not in your nature to continuously worry over something,” he said, eyes still closed.

Psh, how would he know?? “I do when it comes to you,” I told him, taking his hand.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to me, looking absolutely miserable. “I know you meant no harm when you called me lethallin.” He swallowed, reaching a hand to my hair. “And when you said it, I realized… I do feel that kinship towards you. But it pains me to hear it."

“Because I’m human?” I said faintly.

“No,” he said, then hesitated a moment. “Because I do not want to leave you.”

Tears welled in my eyes again, and I hugged him. He folded his arms around me to return my embrace. “I’m still sorry I called you that. I shouldn’t have treated your language so lightly,” I said, choking a little. “And I want you to know that if I could, I’d only speak to you in Elvish.”

“I would love to speak to you in Elvhen.” His hands glided along my back, holding me tighter. “You are such a beautiful spirit,” he whispered in my ear. “Ma da’nera.”

“Solas,” I cried into his shoulder. I lifted my head to look at him, moving a hand to his cheek. We were still drawn close together, and I held my breath as I gazed at him. All I wanted was to kiss him. But I knew he’d only turn away. It wasn’t what he wanted.

“We are nearing the end,” Solas said quietly. He raised his hand to mine and peeled it from his cheek. “I will meet Mythal tomorrow.”

“So soon?” I said under my breath, fear overtaking my mind.

“I have already summoned her.” He pulled away from me to stand.

“And you’re going to kill her?” I asked, anxious as I looked up at him.

Solas eyed me. “No, not kill... merely transfer,” he said tiredly. He walked towards the entrance and started drawing runes on the stone floor, not saying anything else. When he finished, he took the two bedrolls we kept hitched to our horses and came back, handing one to me. I stood up, taking the roll and laying it out as he did the same. We lay down beside each other on the ground.

“Are you going to change when you do the... transfer?” I asked, turning to him. Such a weird concept.

He looked at me. His expression was calm, but tired. “I shall absorb Mythal’s essence, and power,” he replied ambiguously.

“But will that make you different?”

“Essentially, yes.” He turned his gaze to the ceiling. “But I cannot say how it will affect my mind.”

I reached out and rested my hand in his. “So... this could be it, then?”

He didn’t speak, but he curved his hand around mine, giving it a little squeeze.

I scooted closer to him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and wrapping my other arm around his. He remained still, but his fingers still firmly grasped mine.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” I whispered.

Solas shuddered out an exhale. “I know.” He shifted to press a kiss into my hair.

I started to cry again. I gripped his arm tighter, not wanting to ever let him go. He brought his other hand to my face, brushing away my tears. And somehow I fell asleep, as if by some elven magic.

Chapter Text

“Would you like some tea?” she asked me, holding a glass teacup with an amber liquid in her hands. This woman was pretty, with short pink hair cropped just below her chin. Was it a wig?

“Yes, please,” I answered, accepting the cup into my hands.

The woman smiled pleasantly. “You can drink it in the lounge, if you’d like.” Her hand gestured to a staircase behind her. “We serve more tea upstairs, as well.”

I nodded and walked up the stairwell. Everything in this place was white and plastic-y looking. It seemed like some sort of hip club or lounge, and there was ambient house music playing in the background somewhere.

I made it to the top of the stairs, glancing around the area. There were very modern-looking chairs scattered all about, standing like round ovals, gently curved to fit one or two people. I sat myself down in one of them, still holding my tea.

“This place is different from your other dreams,” Solas said, sitting in a chair beside me.

I blinked, the awareness of the dream now dawning on me. “I don’t even know what this place is,” I said confusedly. I looked at Solas, who had leaned back in his chair, his hands folded in his lap.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. The teacup had disappeared from my hands.

“I thought we could spend more time together,” he said, “before...” Solas trailed off, leaving his statement unfinished.

I stood and walked the small distance to his chair. “Before you meet Mythal?” I asked.

“Yes,” he whispered, staring up at me. His blue eyes looked so miserable.

I squeezed myself into his chair, and he moved over to make room for me. The chair was like a big, squishy red egg that had been sliced in half. As I settled into it, I wrapped my arm across his torso, leaning my head on his shoulder. It was pretty cozy, and our thighs were pressed flush beside each other.

“I hope you don’t change,” I told him quietly. “What if you forget me?” I asked.

Solas moved an arm so it was wrapped around my back. “I find that highly unlikely,” he said softly. “I cannot imagine ever forgetting you, Anna.” He caressed my arm with his hand.

Suddenly I felt scared, even though he was trying to comfort me. I thought of the game, of how at any time I could reload, or start a new playthrough. Solas could just forget everything at the click of a button. And the thought broke my heart.

I still didn’t know why I was here, or if any of this was real. But it felt real, and it had changed my life. Changed me. I had fallen in love with this man, and if I just disappeared, and he forgot me... I didn’t want to imagine it. It hurt too much.

I tightened my arm around him and buried my face into his sleeve. “I don’t want to live without you. I’ll miss your stories, your jokes, your dreams... Who will I talk to? Who will I laugh with?” I asked him in a strained voice. “You mean everything to me.”

“I cannot mean everything to you,” he said in a calm, low voice. “I know how much you care for other people, for other things.”

“But nothing as much as you,” I cried.

Solas was quiet for a few moments, before perking up with sudden enthusiasm. “Show me something you care about, Anna. Something from your world,” he requested, sounding surprisingly eager. “I want to see what you love.”

“I’m too sad to think of anything,” I whined, feeling nothing but the fear of losing him.

“Then what is this place? Why did you dream of it?” he asked.

I glanced around the lounge. “I don’t know, my brain is just weird, I guess. It dreams up random, futuristic teahouses or something.”

“A teahouse?” Solas wondered. He looked at me. “Do you like tea?”

I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yes,” I said. “I know you don’t like it, but I like to put milk and sugar in mine. It tastes really good like that.”

He smiled. “Perhaps I would enjoy it if you made it for me.” He chuckled. “How did you know I do not like tea?”

I laughed. “I once saw you drink some and make a face,” I said, smiling. “You hated it.”

Solas smiled warmly at me. “Anna,” he said softly, “if you return to your realm, will you miss Thedas?”

“Yes,” I answered. “Wouldn’t you?”

“What will you miss most?” Solas replied, evading my question.

“Well, you,” I said with a smile, squeezing him. “And the others from the Inquisition, too.” I gazed at the strange teahouse around me. “I guess I’ll miss the magic.”

He froze then, a tension stiffening his body. “You… have no magic in your realm?”

Fuck. Well, he had to know sometime. “No,” I said, averting my eyes from him. “I never told you, but… we don’t. We have machines, though, and a lot of them do what your magic would.”

“So your world…” Solas said slowly, “is like a world of Tranquil.”

I squinted at him. “You think I’m Tranquil?”

“No,” he answered, “but I have thought with the way you shape your dreams, some magic resided within you… It is saddening to hear that you and your people have no magic.”

“But we’ve never had magic, so there’s nothing to miss. There’s nothing to be cut off from,” I said, annoyed now.

“Yet you have the Fade?” he asked, raising a brow at me.

I swallowed. “I dream, but it isn’t the Fade, no.”

“But... Anna,” he said, pulling away from me, “you told me your visions of our future came from the Fade.”

I took a deep breath. “I lied,” I said, turning towards him in the squishy chair.

Solas frowned, all his features drawing downward in disapproval. His gaze moved away from me to the teahouse instead. He leaned forward in the chair, placing his elbows on his knees and steepling his hands together.

“We don’t have the Fade, but we have stories about Thedas,” I explained, twiddling my thumbs nervously. “And that’s where I heard about you and everything else here.”

“Stories? Like legends?” he asked, continuing to stare at our surroundings.

“Yes… Like that,” I said, stilling my hands. “I always thought they were fictional, though.”

Solas turned to me again, eyes searching my face. “You thought I was a work of fiction?” He took a breath, contemplating a moment. “Do you still?”

After all this time, did he really need to ask? Did he believe I was faking my feelings? I leaned toward him. “What do you think?”

“If… if that is true, then it would explain much about you.”

Really? I tilted my head. “Like what?”

Solas studied me. “Your behavior…” he began slowly. “Your insistence that you know what is best for me—for everyone.” He swallowed. “Your detachment regarding death.”

I sat up, indignant. “Detachment? I’ve been trying to stop you from dying this whole time!”

“I meant towards others,” he said with a small shake of his head. “You have never shown much reaction towards violence or death. Or even your own impending death.”

“You have no idea what I’m feeling, Solas.” I crossed my arms, raising my chin. “You don’t know what’s going on inside my head.”

“No, I do not,” he said, looking away.

“You’re real to me,” I said. “Do I act like you aren’t? Do you think I’d feel this strongly, if you weren’t real to me?” I took a few breaths, my brow stitching together in worry. “Am I real to you?”

His eyes moved back to me again, and he swallowed. “You are.”

I scrutinized him. “Even though I don’t have magic?”

Solas blinked in surprise. “What?”

“You asked if I was Tranquil.”

“I did not say that,” he argued, frowning.

“I told you I don’t have magic, Solas. From the very beginning, I said that.”

His brow furrowed, and he narrowed his eyes. “But you keep things from me.”

“Well, so do you!” I rose from the chair, shaking my head and taking a few steps away from him. “God, you don’t think I’m a person, do you? Now that you know I don’t have a connection to the Fade.”

“Anna—” He stood after me.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” I scoffed, my back to him. “No one but the elvhen matter, right?”

Solas grabbed my arm, spinning me towards him. “Anna, you are real to me. You are a person. Regardless of your magical ability, or your race.” His frantic eyes darted between mine, his grasp tight.

“Then why would you immediately say my world is Tranquil?” I demanded, tears pricking my eyes now. “Why is magic the only thing important to you?”

“You are important to me,” he said, taking my other arm.

I stared at him, my chest heaving with breaths. “But not important enough.”

“What do you want me to say?” He let go of my arms, angry now. “That my feelings for you are more important than my people? They are everything to me.” Solas took a breath, turning away from me. “I will not continue this pointless argument.”

I sighed, watching his back. I wiped my eyes. He was right. I couldn’t keep going in circles like this with him. I’d never convince him, and tomorrow was truly the end of this story.

“Do you still want to see something from my world?” I asked his back after a while. “Before tomorrow?”

He turned his head. “Do you even wish to show me?”

“Yes,” I said, “since this is my last chance to.”

Solas exhaled. “Then yes,” he said, facing me again, “I would like to. Do you know what you want to share?”

I still felt hurt by what he’d said, as if a world without magic was pitiful or worthless to him… It made me feel like I was, too. Well. I needed to show him that wasn’t true.

I nodded at Solas and closed my eyes, thinking of the memory. I’ll show you a Tranquil world.

Chapter Text

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and glanced around the Fade. We were at the local amusement park where I used to spend many summer days in my childhood. Huge rollercoasters towered around us, all painted in bright colors. I felt like a king here as a kid. I knew all the best rides, and secrets for how to get on the most attractions. And of the places that I had actually visited in my lifetime, this was surely going to blow this stupidly stubborn elf’s mind.

“Anna,” he said, gasping in wonder at the twisting, colorful structures as he watched the trains race along their tracks. “What is this place?”

“There’s a lot you can do without magic, Solas,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.

“I apologize for what I said,” he replied, meeting my gaze. “Your revelation surprised me. A world without magic…”

“Doesn’t seem like a real world?” I stared at him.

He sighed. “Not one I wish to be a part of.”

That stung. “Well, lucky you weren’t sent to my realm, then,” I said bitterly.

“Will you show me this place?” Solas asked quietly, eyes hopeful.

I nodded. “I wanted to show you something special… since it’s possibly the last dream we’ll have together.”

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” he said. Solas took my hand, and my heart melted a little at the touch, because I still loved this terrible wolf. Though he hadn’t commented on it, I’d also put him in jeans and a white t-shirt when the Fade changed. And he looked quite good in it, the way the thin cotton hung on his frame. I liked seeing him in so few layers... and in a crewneck, for once.

A corner of my mouth lifted as my eyes moved from him to around the park, a spark of excitement building in my chest. Would Solas freak out here? How well would the Fade replicate the rollercoasters from my memory? God, I hope he freaks out.

But in order to ease him into such an intensely different experience from what he was used to, I thought it was best to start with the gentlest of rides. A kiddie coaster. A small, easy rollercoaster that had a few dips and no height requirement.

Solas was confused as we stepped onto the train. “A horseless carriage?” He peered out at the track. “Where will it take us?”

“In a circle,” I said, laughing.

The ride started, and his eyes widened at the wind whooshing past us. He gripped the safety bar in our laps, his knuckles whitening.

“How is this possible without magic?” Solas gasped.

“It’s a combination of physics and electricity,” I explained, my hair blowing back as we rode. “Like if you cast lightning to this ride and it powered it… Does that make sense?” I said, unsure of how else to explain it. I wasn’t an engineer of any kind.

“I… cannot say it does.”

The ride soon stopped, and we left the train with the other Fade-passengers. There were far fewer people than there’d normally be in the park, but it was still nice to see others around having fun, even if they weren’t real. When we walked out the exit gate, I linked my arm with his. “Did you like it?” I asked, grinning.

Solas smiled. “I did,” he replied, then shook his head in awe. “It was… a marvel.”

“You think you’re ready for that one?” I pointed to the largest ride in the park. It was an enormous, red coaster that required a harness for its several loops and drops.

He swallowed. “Are you sure this is safe?”

I laughed as we walked down a path lined with trees. “Yes! Everything here is just for entertainment.”

“Only entertainment?” He arched a brow.

“Yeah,” I said. “I told you we had a lot of different kinds where I come from.” I glanced at the tall structures around us. “I’ve always wondered if Thedas is a bit… stunted because of magic. We’re a lot more technologically advanced than you all. There are so many inventions created because we don’t have magic.”

“An interesting theory.” Solas studied me a moment before saying, “Anna... I know you told me you feel at home in Thedas, but you must miss your realm. You must miss this.”

“You like it that much, do you?” I said, smiling.

“It is incredible.”

My eyes wandered the park around us. There were so many kids here, laughing and running to different rides. Families and groups of friends who chatted happily together. Couples on dates, sharing funnel cakes and popcorn. The sun was shining, and there were birds in the sky and a few wispy clouds. The perfect summer day. I sighed.

“I do miss it, but... I don’t know how to get back.” I swallowed, taking his hand. “And I don’t want to leave you.”

“I wish I could have done more for you to return home.” His voice was soft as he strolled beside me. “When I leave… what will you do?”

“I guess I’ll go back and help the Inquisition, at least until I figure out how to return to my world. And if I can't, well… I'll just live life in Thedas, I guess.”

Solas stopped walking and turned to me. “You have so much life in you, Anna.” He touched my cheek. “Never forget that. There is so much you can bring to this world.”

I sighed. “Like what? What would I bring?” Karaoke and dumb commentary?

“Your joy, your creativity.” He touched my hair. “Your compassion.”

“Solas,” I said, hugging him. “You’re making me cry again.”

“I am sorry,” he said, rubbing my back. “Would you like to ride the red one? I think I am ready now.”

I wiped my eyes and nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah, let’s do it.” You can’t vomit in the Fade, right?

We made our way over to the giant rollercoaster. I helped the elf with his harness, and pulled mine over my head. I had chosen the front row of the coaster because why the hell not. This was a dream, and there weren’t any real lines or anyone to stop us. He looked horrified, though, and I laughed.

“Solas, it’s going to be fine. Don’t worry,” I said, snickering at him.

“We are so high up here…” he said warily, as the ride crept up its first massive incline.

“Yeah, it’s just like Arlathan, right? Floating in the sky.” I reached my arms out into the air.

Solas shook his head. “That is completely—”

But he never finished his sentence because the train flew down a steep drop, pummeling us through the air. We twisted and spun through the track, even going upside down in a couple of loops, until the coaster slowed to an eventual stop.

“Oh, my god,” I said. “I should have shown this to you way sooner.” I laughed, kicking my feet in the air. “The Fade is amazing. Isn’t it, Solas?” I turned to him.

He was in a state of speechless shock. Solas was a ghostly white, which I didn’t even think was possible, as pale as he was already.

“Are you okay?” I asked him. It hadn’t even felt as intense as a real one would have. That feeling of gravity was never fully present in the Fade.

“I…” He shook his head. “That was terrifying.”

I frowned. “You didn’t like it?”

Solas turned to me and smiled, laughing a bit. “It was like flying.”

I beamed. “So you did like it?” Our harnesses lifted, and we exited the ride.

“Very much so,” he said, voice full of delight. “It was one of the most memorable experiences I’ve ever had.” He smiled at me, taking my hand. “I am so grateful you’ve shown me this.” He tucked some hair behind my ear. “Where will you take me next?”

I hummed, considering. “Let’s try something different,” I said. “They have these nice boat rides we could do.”

He smiled, and we headed off. Solas was so much more excited than I expected. He was animated and enthusiastic at everything we passed as we ventured through the park, pointing and asking questions about different objects he noticed. It was honestly adorable, and I was dying to kiss him. But I had to be content with only holding hands.

“The Tunnel of Love?” Solas asked, dubious as he read the sign. We’d reached the boat ride.

I grinned at him. “The most romantic ride in the park.” I lifted my hand in a flourish.

“... Why?”

I laughed. “Come on, Solas. Let’s go!”

It wasn’t actually all that romantic. Unless you thought the only thing needed for romance was darkness. We got into a small boat, sitting side by side. The ride went into a tunnel—or more like a building—that had little scenes with animatronic faeries.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what the theme of this ride was supposed to be. It’d always confused me as a kid. Why was it called The Tunnel of Love, when all it had was a bunch of random mechanical faeries prancing around their tiny houses? So weird. But it was cute.

Solas enjoyed it immensely.

“They’re not real,” I explained, watching him examine the faeries. “They’re little machines.”

“All of them?” he asked, staring at their singing, animated faces. He still held my hand as he sat beside me.

“Mhmm,” I said. “Mechanical.”

“Fascinating.”

The scenes of faeries were interspersed with passages of complete darkness, which I supposed could be the “love” parts of the ride. Oh, did the teens take advantage of this one…

I leaned against Solas, and he put his arm around me.

“Anna,” he said in the dark, “I want you to take Morrigan’s eluvian back to Skyhold. I will show you the way, so when the time comes, you may return through it.”

The next diorama came into view, lighting both our faces again. All the faeries were having a big celebration. They danced, swung from trees, played in a river. Their faces were bright and smiling.

“Okay,” I agreed. “I will.”

He kissed my hair. “Thank you.”

The ride ended, and all my apprehension came back again. Solas was meeting Flemeth tomorrow. Everything was coming to an end, and he would release the pantheon. And I might disappear. I could return to my world.

“Where would you like to go now, Anna?” he asked me as we stepped out of the ride.

“Can we… just sit for a bit?”

Solas frowned with concern. “Of course.”

I led us to some benches that faced an artificial lake. It had miniature sailboats in it that you could pay to steer remotely, and some kids were driving them around the water. We sat and watched them.

“Why do you think I came to Thedas?” I asked as the boats zoomed around. My eyes met his. “What do you think brought me here?”

“I can’t say I know,” Solas replied.

I sighed. “I mean, what have I even done here?” I said. “I haven’t done anything, haven’t changed anything. I—I’ve just sat around, doing nothing!”

His brows were knotted together. “Did you expect to do something? A particular goal?”

I looked at him, tears welling in my eyes, thinking of him and the Inquisitor. “Yeah, and I failed!” I cradled my head in my hands. “Miserably.”

“Anna.” His hand drifted to my shoulder. “How did you fail?”

“I failed you,” I cried. “Solas, I wanted to stop you from doing this. I wanted to save your relationship with Lavellan, but I—I just fucked everything up even more.”

“What?” he asked, frowning. “What do you mean, about me and the Inquisitor?”

I took a breath. “When I came here, all I wanted was for you to tell her the truth about your identity. So that you could be with who you’re destined to be with,” I said. “Because you are, Solas. The Inquisitor is your destiny. You’re fated to be together!”

“According to what?” Solas asked, perplexed.

“According to everyone! According to the world!” I stood up and started pacing, and the Fade reacted to my outburst. The kids and the boats disappeared, and even the birds in the air vanished. The park became unnatural in how empty it was.

“Anna,” Solas said, shaking his head, “I am not understanding you.”

“You were supposed to fall for a Dalish elf, so that she’d change your perspective on modern elves—on modern people—and I wanted to help you stay together,” I said, walking back and forth.

“Why?” he asked quietly, watching me.

I halted, staring back at him. “Because she could stop you from your plans. She could save you from them.”

Solas took a moment to digest my words. “If that is what you came to do, then yes, Anna. You did fail,” he said. “I no longer have any interest in the Inquisitor. And my plans… they will continue.”

I wiped my eyes and sat beside him again on the bench. “But… wouldn’t you go back to her, if you could? If there was nothing in the world to stop you?”

“No,” he said, looking away from me. “I would not.”

“Why not?”

He sighed, gazing out at the water. “Why are you so fixated on our relationship?”

“Because I said you’re—”

“Fated? Fated by whom? Anna, she hardly even knew me,” he said, turning to me. “Not how you know me.”

“But I cheated, Solas. I wormed my way in by already knowing who you are.”

“You cannot argue against my own feelings.” Solas exhaled harshly, rising to stand. “This is exactly what I meant. When I told you I would only bring you pain. I tried to protect you from this, but you—”

“I fell in love with you,” I whimpered, “and it ruined everything.”

His brow furrowed, and he fell beside me on the bench. “Anna,” he said, reaching his arms around me. “I wish I could spare you from this pain.”

“You can,” I whispered, “if you just stopped.”

“I can’t.” Solas kissed my hair, then my cheek, until finally resting his forehead against mine. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

My chest rose heavily as our foreheads touched. Everything felt like too much, and yet not enough. Not enough at all. He was going to change tomorrow, probably leave me forever, and I was just supposed to accept it?

“Solas.” I swallowed. “If you love me, then—then could you kiss me?”

He inhaled sharply, his chest expanding from the breath. “Must you ask me this?”

“Just once, before you change?” I asked. “Please?”

Solas was silent for a while, taking deep breaths through his nose as he considered my proposition. Then he lifted his chin, and kissed me. He took his time, his hand going to my neck, thumb gliding against the line of my jaw. His other hand slid into my hair. His lips were tender and affectionate, and he shivered when I pulled him closer. I moved to his lap, pressing against his chest as I straddled him.

It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t feel this wonderful to kiss. Like everything I’d ever wanted, all impossibly contained in one person. Solas broke away, though, leaving me trailing after him, desperate for more.

“I must stop, Anna,” he murmured, kissing my cheek instead.

“Why?” I whispered.

Solas swallowed. “Because otherwise I will not be able to.”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

“I have to.”

I drew him into another kiss, and he let me for a moment, my tongue slipping between his parted lips. But he broke it off again.

“You said only once.” Solas had barely pulled away, and his mouth still hovered before mine.

“I didn’t mean it,” I said, trying again.

He let out a little breath of a laugh. “Always contradicting.” He ducked his head so I couldn’t reach his mouth, but then pressed his lips to my neck, kissing down my throat. “You must be a desire demon come to haunt me,” he growled against my skin. He ran his hands down my back, his fingers digging into the fabric of my shirt. “No one should be this difficult to resist.”

“Then stop resisting.” I kissed his neck this time, grinding myself against his lap, and he moaned. He met my mouth again, pulling me even tighter to him. It was overwhelming. Wanting something so hopelessly, and then finally having it. My skin just vibrated at his touch. I was burning for him.

“Anna, you must stop,” Solas said suddenly. He straightened his arms, pushing me by the shoulders. “If you do not, I will end this dream.”

“Then end it,” I said, leaning towards him again, “and let’s continue when we’re awake.”

Solas held me still. “Please, Anna,” he said, serious this time.

I groaned in frustration, placing my head on his shoulder instead. “Fine,” I huffed.

“Do you understand now?” Solas asked, holding me to him. “How I feel about you?”

“Yes,” I said, hugging him. “And I think it’s even more painful.”

He sighed. “What did I tell you? This is why I resisted.”

“But I would do it again. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“Neither would I.” Solas kissed my hair, smoothing his hand down my back. “Please, Anna. Please promise me you will return to Skyhold when I tell you to.”

“I will.”

“And promise me… you will not harm yourself in an attempt to return to your realm. I haven’t researched the possibilities as much as I’d like but there is too much uncertainty in your theory.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

“Anna,” he whispered. “When we wake, I will go to Mythal. You cannot stop me.”

“I won’t. I know there’s no stopping you.”

He pushed some hair behind my ear, gazing at me. Solas was always more open in the Fade. I could probably try kissing him again, and he’d let me. But I didn’t want to keep forcing everything on him. It wasn’t right, and I was tired of fighting.

“Do you want me to get off your lap?” I asked. I attempted to move away, but he prevented me.

“No,” he said, pulling me closer. “Let me have this, please.”

“Solas.” I touched my forehead against his and closed my eyes. “It’s so hard not to kiss you right now.”

He hummed. “Perhaps once more. To assuage you.” He didn’t wait for my response before his mouth was on mine again, hungry as ever and all-consuming. (I didn’t mind. Not in the least.)

“This ends with the dream,” he said between fervent kisses. His lips could barely tear away long enough to say the words. “Promise me, Anna.”

“No,” I said, moving to his throat again. “Enough promises.”

He moaned when I sucked a bit of flesh beneath his jaw. I imagined us both naked, hoping the Fade would react, and for one glorious moment it did—our clothing disappeared, and I could feel his skin against mine. But our clothes appeared again instantly.

“No,” Solas chided.

“I want you,” I breathed.

“I’m ending this,” he said, and the dream melted away.

Chapter Text

I woke in a feverish haze, drowning in unfulfilled desire. There was something soft against my cheek, and when I opened my eyes, I realized it was Solas’s wolf pelt. He’d been cuddling again. We lay curled in towards each other, my face pressed to his chest. Our bedrolls had become tangled messes at our feet. Solas had an arm around me, his hand on my back. I couldn’t believe he’d kissed me. That he’d done any of it.

Solas was already awake and watching me. His eyes were giving me this intense gaze, still holding that same heat from the Fade, and I knew he was feeling the same.

“Why did you stop it?” I said. “That dream was amazing.”

He swallowed. “We should be going,” Solas said.

“Just a little longer, please,” I said, clinging to him.

He remained still, giving me some respite. I glanced up at him.

“Did you like it? The dream?” I asked.

“Yes.” His arm around me started to move, sliding down my back until his hand rested on my waist.

I quirked an eyebrow and smiled deviously at him. I moved my own hand to his on my waist, pushing his fingers down to my bum. Ohhhh yes.

“Anna,” he warned, but he didn’t remove his hand. He liked it.

I inched towards his face, bringing my lips dangerously close to his mouth and gazing into his eyes from underneath my eyelashes. I could feel his breath on my skin start to quicken.

He still wasn’t moving. Not rejecting, nor accepting. I hitched my leg over his hip, to tease him even more. My hand moved to his jaw, stroking the curve of it with a finger.

Our faces were so close that the tips of our noses bumped, and I couldn’t help it any longer. I gave him a quick peck on the lips, just touching his mouth for a millisecond before breaking away. I didn’t even close my eyes, keeping them trained on his blue ones.

Solas’s eyes widened from the kiss. “What did I tell you?” he reprimanded. His grasp tightened on my backside for a second, before he moved his hand to my arm and used it to roll me flat on the ground. “The dream is over.”

“We don’t have to stop.” I smiled at him, and pulled at the uppermost tie of my coat until the knot came loose, revealing some of the skin beneath. “I’ll do anything you want. Whatever you want.”

The tiniest of noises escaped him, something between a moan and a hum. I was on my back now, and he was leaning over me, still gazing into my eyes and looking quite desirable. His face was farther from me now, but I could tell he was taking deeper breaths by the way his chest moved back and forth, expanding and compressing.

He broke eye contact to look downwards, towards my lips, and he brought his thumb to them, brushing it from one corner to the other. I kissed the pad of his finger as he moved along, and he stopped, pulling his finger away and slightly catching it on my lower lip. Solas moved his hand to the ground then and edged closer to me, bringing his face to mine. I closed my eyes and waited, my lips parting a little to accept his. Yes.

But he didn’t kiss me, and I felt a light gust of air on my skin as he pushed himself away. My eyes flew open, panicked, and I saw that he was now sitting upright with his back to me. “Solas,” I pleaded.

“We need to leave,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I cannot keep Mythal waiting.” He didn’t look at me.

“You’re really just going to act like nothing happened?”

Solas was quiet, back still to me. “I need to,” was all he said.

I exhaled loudly in exasperation but didn’t argue. I watched as he stood up and walked towards the horses. After a moment, I did the same.

Solas was right. It was so much worse knowing he wanted me, but just wouldn't. That he actually would be with me, if he could. It was agonizing. A cruel torment. It made everything harder. (Especially him. Pfft. I did feel something down there, when we were pressed together...)

He flicked away the wards he had left the night before with his hand, and we led our mounts out of his decaying temple. Today’s the day. The final cutscene. The end of my game knowledge. Game over.

I had this strange mix of excitement and terror thrashing inside my gut. Solas actually had romantic feelings for me! It wasn’t only in my head, it couldn’t be misconstrued. He loved me and he’d kissed me! And kissing him, well… it was even better than I’d dreamed. It literally was a dream.

But the Solas I knew might be gone after the transfer, and this could be my last day in Thedas. So, the fear was winning.

Solas guided us through the Dales, not saying anything more. I did attempt to discuss what had happened the night prior, but was only met with a pained, “Please, Anna.” So I spared him from further questions.

As we traveled in silence, I pondered what I would even do if I went back to my world. I’d probably be committed to an institution if I told anyone I’d been in a video game. How could I continue on as if none of this had happened? When I’d fallen so desperately hard for someone I could never be with again?

Was this even a game? The thought made me wonder if anyone was watching me while they played DA:I. What if I was actually a part of this game now? What if I was some new NPC?

Or had I somehow landed in an alternate universe where all this was just… real? It felt real. Was I even real? What did it mean to be real, anyway? Hmmm.

A few hours into the day, I started to feel pretty hungry. So when a rabbit came hopping into view, I shouted to Solas, “Hold on, I’m gonna stop!” I dismounted before even waiting for his reply, but he slowed down.

“Are you all right?” he asked. I gestured for him to be quiet, pointing to the rabbit in my view. I’m gonna do it, I thought. I’m gonna friggin’ do it.

I pulled my bow from my back and loaded it with an arrow. Solas dismounted then, crossing his arms and observing my next move with intrigue.

I tried to remember all the archery tips I had received. From him, from Sera, from Cullen, from Varric. I drew the bow, and let the arrow fly. It hit the rabbit, killing the animal instantly. Fuck yeah!

I turned back to Solas, smiling and bouncing up and down from excitement. “I did it!!” I said delightedly.

He smiled at me then. A smile so bright it made my heart pound. He was proud of me. “An excellent shot,” he complimented, beaming.

I was over the moons. I ran towards him (he wasn’t very far), and threw my arms around him in an embrace. “Thanks, Solas,” I said into his tunic.

He did not return my hug, though, remaining stiff and unmoving, and I realized that he would probably keep his distance from me for the rest of our (short?) journey. It hurt to think that, but there wasn’t much I could do. This was what he wanted.

“You should collect your prize,” he gently suggested, still standing like a pole.

I sighed and let him go, walking towards my future-meal. I picked it up and held it boastingly in the air. At least I was a warrior. “Can you cook it for me?” I asked, glancing his way.

“If you are willing to share it,” he said, giving me a small smile.

“Always,” I replied softly, handing it over. We were soon sitting and eating that poor bunny in silence, and I glanced around our surroundings, observing a nearby forest. “Are we close?” I asked, staring at the trees.

“Yes,” he answered. “That forest marks the border of the Arbor Wilds. We should reach the eluvian by midday.”

“Why did we come all the way here for this eluvian? Surely there must be closer ones?” I asked.

He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Most of the eluvians have been broken or destroyed, and this was one of the few I knew to still function.”

I nodded, still looking at the forest. So sad.

The both of us soon finished eating, and we mounted our mares again, riding off into the forest. The further we rode into the wood, however, the tighter the trees became, and we eventually needed to travel by foot, leading our horses by hand. The area was beautiful and green here, humming with jungle life.

After about an hour, we came to a clearing, where a humongous eluvian stood. Sunlight streamed through the trees, reflecting off its surface, and it glimmered softly as the leaves of the trees moved to and fro.

I walked to the front of the mirror, standing just before it. The sheer height of it was massive. I had to crane my neck until my chin stuck straight upwards to see the top of it. Why is it so big? Wouldn’t they only need to be a few feet taller than an elf? It seemed like this one could fit a giant.

“Why are eluvians so tall?” I asked Solas, still examining the mirror.

He came to my side and answered, “The People used them to travel throughout Elvhenan, sometimes bringing all of their belongings: ships, carriages, and other large objects. This required a greater size.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding my head and looking at him. “Makes sense.”

“I will unlock it now,” he declared, taking a step toward the mirror. He moved his hand in an arc before him, and blue magic poured out of it. It floated towards the eluvian’s surface, bringing the portal to life.

“You didn’t need a key like the Well?” I asked.

He turned his attention back towards me, raising an eyebrow. “Not all eluvians are opened the same way. Some have spoken passcodes, while others can simply be opened by forceful spells.”

“So you basically just lock-picked this mirror?” I accused, arching my own brow.

He smiled and took my hand. “Let us hurry,” Solas said, and he pulled me with him through the eluvian.

We entered the Crossroads. It was now my second time here, and it looked different. More alive, somehow. The sun was shining and most of the mist was gone. There were plants everywhere, and it was even a little warm.

He was still holding my hand as he strode through the paths here, zigzagging between mirrors. His hand felt warm, and it was comforting to feel his touch. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back, making our grasp even tighter.

“Morrigan’s eluvian,” Solas said, stopping suddenly in front of a mirror. He turned to me. “I will light a path for you to follow.”

Light a path? The statement confused me, but he started pulling me along again before I could ask. Using his free hand, he lit the tiles of a walkway, a bright illumination flowing from his fingertips. Each stone remained a glowing blue; a clear guide to follow.

He didn’t step as quickly as before, perhaps due to the magic he was casting. At this pace, it was easy to walk beside him. I matched his gait, and he let go of my hand to put an arm around me instead, sliding it underneath my quiver and bow to hold the small of my back. It was nice, walking like this, and I leaned my head against his arm.

“Mythal is already here,” he said quietly. “I can sense her presence, and she has sensed mine as well.”

“Does she know about me?” I wondered.

“Yes,” he answered, continuing to light the road. “I spoke of you to her in the Fade.”

“What did you tell her?”

He smiled. “I explained that you know my identity and have followed me to help the People.”

“Did she believe you?” I asked skeptically.

He laughed. “We are old friends, Anna,” Solas replied and looked at me, still smiling. “She knows when I speak the truth.”

We took a few more steps, and he paused. “Her location is very near now,” he said.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, suddenly feeling very tired, and scared. Everything is happening so fast.

“I want you to stay, for as long as you feel safe,” Solas answered quietly. “If ever you feel threatened, then follow this path and return to Skyhold.” He gestured to the illuminated stones.

I nodded, and he embraced me.

“This is the end of my foresight, Solas,” I said as I held him. “I might disappear after this.”

“It may be for the best,” he said to my ear. “Easier.”

I swallowed. “I’ll miss you,” I whispered, clutching him tighter. “I love you.”

He released a shuddering breath and pulled away from me. “We are almost there.”

Solas continued on, and I followed, walking a bit further until Flemeth came into view.

She stood in front of a giant eluvian, with huge Fen’Harel and Mythal statues guarding its sides. There were those elven spherical trees all over the area, too, as well as just regular-looking trees.

“I knew you would come,” Flemythal said, turning around to us. “The both of you,” she added, pointedly eyeing me. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing her in person. How did she get her hair so horizontal? Magic?

“You should not have given your orb to Corypheus, Dread Wolf,” she scolded Solas.

I blinked. It felt like a lifetime ago, all that business with the magister. But it had barely been a week. And I realized, after all this time with Solas, I never even knew why he had an orb in the first place. I didn’t know a thing about it.

“Why do you have an orb, Solas?” I asked, not caring what Flemeth thought. This was the end, anyway. “Like… shouldn’t you just have the Anchor naturally, if it was your orb to begin with?”

Solas's mouth pursed at my questions. The two ancients looked back at each other, having some sort of silent communication. “Anna,” Solas said, turning his gaze towards me again. “My orb… was augmented with control over the Veil. It is not an ability I naturally possess.”

“But why was the orb created in the first place?” I wondered. “Wasn’t… didn’t the Veil develop after you went to sleep?”

“You think the Veil is a natural occurrence?” Flemeth asked me.

“Um, yes?” I said. “I mean, it’s not like it’s manmade…?” I shrugged. How could anyone make the Veil?

Solas was frowning, but Flemeth only hummed.

“How would the world look now without it, I wonder…” she said. Her eyes were on Solas, but then she turned them to me. “Elvhenan was a time of innovation, and Fen’Harel was no exception in his inventions.”

Solas nodded. “I… originally used the orb to lock the Evanuris away.”

Flemeth was smirking now. “You have many questions, child. Why have you followed Fen’Harel?”

Heh. “Because I want to help elves, too,” I stammered, blushing a little. “Although, I don’t think he needs to die to help them,” I added quietly. My eyes met with Solas’s, and he reached for my hand, taking it in his.

Flemeth arched a brow. “Die?” she asked.

“The failure was mine. I should pay the price,” the Dread Wolf said sadly, clasping my hand.

Flemeth nodded. “I am sorry, old friend,” she said, taking a few steps near Solas.

He let go of me and turned fully towards her, closing the distance between them.

“Forgive me,” he said quietly, touching his forehead to hers. I remember this pose...

“Wait!” I exclaimed, bringing their attention back to me. They both turned their heads in my direction. “Are you doing the transfer already?”

“Anna,” Solas pleaded tiredly. “There is no reason to delay it.”

Flemeth observed me intriguingly, a small smile on her lips. “You do not need to worry,” she said soothingly. “We have both agreed to this exchange.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, still disbelieving. I put a hand up to my mouth, blocking Solas’s view of my lips. “He can be really manipulative sometimes,” I whispered, gesturing my head towards the hobo.

Flemythal laughed, shaking her head a bit. She turned her gaze back to Solas. “How fortunate that she found you, Fen’Harel,” she said, highly amused.

“Indeed. Quite serendipitous,” the wolf answered quietly, still looking at me. He gave me a little smile before turning his attention to Mythal again.

“I am ready, Dread Wolf,” she declared, holding her chin high, her expression completely serious now.

Solas nodded, and his face started to glow with an eerie green. A magic surrounded the two, and Mythal cried out, falling into his arms. She became still as stone, completely drained of color, and Solas lowered her to the ground. As he set her down, her body evaporated into little specks of blue magic, flying away until they disappeared into nothingness. He looked back up at me, eyes glowing with a smoky blue-violet power.

I took a step back. It had all happened so fast, and he looked really freaky. “Solas?” I called. “Are… you okay?”

Solas didn’t answer, but only stood up and walked towards me, a magical aura lightly trailing behind. He examined me curiously, eyes still blazing magically bright. Did he even recognize me?

“Solas?” I asked again, and when he said nothing, I continued, “Mythal? Flemeth?” Still no response. “Fen’Harel? Dread Wolf? Pride?!” I took a few more steps back, but his pace was much quicker than mine, and he soon was standing just before me. It was too late to run to Skyhold now.

And then he smiled, looking extra scary with his glow-y eyes. He reached out with both his hands, placing them on each side of my face, fiery gaze burning into mine. He started pulling me towards him...

What is happening? What is HAPPENING?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?! I thought, panicked. It felt like time was moving in slow motion. He was inching closer and closer to me. His eyes were menacing, they seemed unseeing. Was he going to kill me? Absorb my power now? But I don’t have any power!! What had Mythal done to him? Though I hadn’t disappeared when the game ended, I was going to fucking die now.

But suddenly his lips met mine in a kiss. And I felt the whole world change.

Chapter Text

I was excited and worried and scared and aroused and confused and happy all at the same time. Was this even Solas? Who was kissing me right now?!

But what my mind warned against, my body and heart had so long desired. His hands were still holding my face, cradling my head like precious cargo. It wasn’t a very chaste kiss either, as his lips moved hungrily—expertly—caressing and sucking on mine. And it was so, so, so much better than the Fade could ever be.

Everything felt more real, more intense: his touch, his scent, the way he tasted. Because it was.

I had closed my eyes instinctually, overcome by the feeling of him. His tongue played with mine, dancing and intertwining, and my body involuntarily arched into his, pressing and grabbing for more. Oh, god. Why was he this good at kissing?

He pulled away eventually, and I was left breathless and hot and wanting, but also bewildered. I looked up at him and saw his eyes had returned to normal (although somewhat brighter?) and his skin was flushed vividly. He was smiling, and his gaze was filled with warmth and love. I could have just died from the look, it filled me with so much joy.

But who was he? What had Mythal done to him?

“Anna,” he said, and my heart leapt at his recognition of me. He could have just kissed the first person he saw without caring who it was—I dunno, okay?!

He slowly caressed my face between his palms, eyes searching mine, his smile growing bigger. Solas started speaking, but it was all in Elvish, ancient words I had no understanding of. I didn’t respond, just continued to blink in disbelief at the situation. He was definitely different.

After a few moments, it seemed like he realized I couldn’t understand, and he said softly, “I have not felt as much myself in several millennia.” Geez, he was old. He kissed me again briefly on the mouth. “Ar lath ma.”

He pulled me into his arms then, surrounding me in a strong embrace, and I was so overcome by bliss I nearly cried. This is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me!!! And I lived in a friggin’ video game. A video game.

Sure, I had a couple of doubts. I mean, I had just witnessed him suck the life out of Flemeth, which was super creepy and weird. Like was it really a transfer?? She looked pretty dead to me!

But he seemed like Solas. And whatever part of him was still him, it loved me. He loved me. No hesitation, no running away.

He released me and looked into my eyes again, holding my arms. “You are still here,” he said. His expression was impossibly happy (for Solas, that is).

“Yeah… I am. I guess I was wrong about disappearing,” I said, smiling, feeling giddy.

“I am relieved.” He kissed my forehead.

“What happened to you, Solas?”

He laughed a little. “I have regained my power. Mythal gave me her essence, restoring me to my former strength. And more.” He stared at the eluvian, not saying anything else.

“Okay... but....” I started slowly, “why did you kiss me?” We can talk about the other stuff later.

He turned his gaze back to me, smiling again. “Let us sit,” he said, gesturing to the stone steps of the mirror. We sat down beside each other, and he took a hold of my hand. “Have I caused you discomfort?” he asked, lightly caressing my hand.

I smiled. “Um, no, not exactly...” I laughed awkwardly. “Kinda the opposite, actually.”

He smiled, touching his other hand to my face. “I have cared for you for some time, Anna,” he said, brushing my cheek. He dropped his hand and held mine with both of his. “But I thought if I acted on my feelings, then I would not continue my duty.” He looked towards the mirror again. “And even if I did continue on, I would still leave you heartbroken.”

He returned his gaze to me. His eyes were still so alight, so happy. “But Mythal has seen my memories now, and she spoke to me—advised me. She told me I should not deny myself from you. That all would... resolve.” Solas laughed a little. “I believed her.”

I examined his face, the one I knew so well, but now had changed so rapidly. “So Mythal just talks to you? In your head?” I asked.

“No, not exactly. Only if I call to her,” he answered. “She is a part of my being now.” He smiled. “But only a part,” he added. “I am still Fen’Harel.”

“Should I stop calling you Solas?” He was starting to feel foreign to me.

“I am Solas, as I have always been.” He put a hand on my cheek and kissed me tenderly. “But you may call me whatever you wish.” He wrapped me in his arms again. “Ma Anna,” he whispered, “I am so sorry.”

“What? Why?” I asked, suddenly alarmed.

He broke away. “Tomorrow, I will release the Evanuris.” He looked at the eluvian again. “Tomorrow, I will die.”

Chapter Text

“You’re going to die... tomorrow?” I cried. So soon? Whyyyyy?!

“Yes,” he said, gazing at me lovingly. “The longer it is delayed, the harder it will become for me to complete my mission.”

“Are you sure? Are you really sure this is what you must do?” I asked, highly skeptical and horrified.

Solas laughed, as if my statement was silly, like a joke. Are you high?!?!

“I want to show you something,” he said instead with a mischievous grin. He stood up and offered a hand to me. I blinked at him in disbelief, unsure of what to make of this situation. I had always known he was planning on dying... His sudden affection had me feeling otherwise, though, like he’d changed his mind. Sigh.

Once I got to my feet, he backed a few paces away. With one more devious grin, he leapt forward, disappearing into a puff of magical smoke and landing on four paws. A white wolf now stood before me, six blue eyes blinking simultaneously at my shocked expression.

Okay, so not what I was expecting.

He was enormous, too, for a wolf—about the same height as me as he stood there. I was dumbstruck for a moment from the disconcerting shapeshift. But I gingerly reached out a hand towards him. He willingly met it, bowing his head so I could pet him. Good boy.

But soon he was nudging me with his snout, pushing me towards the side of him. “What do you want me to do?” I asked. He didn’t speak (I didn’t think he could in this form), but only continued to push me until I was at his flank. Then he nudged at my leg. “Wait...” I said, finally understanding, “Do you want me to hop on?”

He huffed in what seemed like affirmation, and so I swung my leg over his back like I would a horse. This day could not get any weirder.

Solas started walking then, slowly, and I adjusted myself to the movement, weaving my fingers into his white fur for a better grip. His pace steadily quickened, and soon he was running at a ferocious speed, with me hanging on for dear life. “I think this is more fun for you than for me!” I shouted atop his back, and he only seemed to move faster from the comment, bounding jovially through the Crossroads.

Eventually, we made it back to the mirror we had come through, and as he sped towards it, I realized he meant to actually go through it. “Uh, Wolf-Solas, you know that eluvian is closed, right??” I asked, frightened we’d slam into it.

But he ignored me and continued in its direction, and when we were only a few feet away, he opened the portal with a simple gesture of his snout. Ohhhh.

We entered the Arbor Wilds again, and Solas slowed his gait considerably. We arrived in a clearing, a meadow of sorts, and suddenly he jumped, with me (yelping) still on him. Mid-leap, he spun his body around so that his four paws were upwards in the air to face me. During the decline (which I swore was in slo-mo or something), he poofed again and we landed in a thud, with me now straddling the regular elf-Solas.

He looked positively delighted with himself, his grin spreading from ear to pointy ear. “You’ve lost it, Fen,” I told him, my hands pinning his shoulders.

Solas laughed. “I was not the one who willingly mounted a wolf’s back,” he smirked at me. “That must warrant some level of madness.”

I touched his face tenderly, brushing my fingers across his cheek. “That’s because I trust the one I love,” I told him quietly.

He smiled, gazing into my eyes. “Vhenan,” Solas whispered, and the word hung in the air between us.

Vhenan. He called me vhenan. I continued to stare at him in disbelief, not really convinced the endearment was for me.

Solas became confused as I gawked at him silently. His eyes moved worriedly around my face, trying to gauge some sort of response, an answer. His smile turned to an anxious frown.

I smiled then, and kissed him on the lips. Vhenan. I was his vhenan.

His arms pulled me towards him, until I was lying flush against his chest. He had me drawn so close and tight to his body, like he was afraid I would disappear.

His hand grasped at my back, the other tangling up into my hair and cupping my head. It was so nice to kiss him. His mouth moved so passionately, so lovingly that it was impossible to not get lost in it all. But, there was still the constant pulling of fear in my mind, the fear of losing him forever.

He seemed to let out a magical aura that I could sense around him now, too. Whether it was the new gain in power, him letting it go due to not caring, or just me being this connected to him, I wasn’t sure. But I could feel it caressing my skin, and it was warm and alluring, making me hungry for more.

“Solas,” I moaned into his lips. He smiled and moved to kissing my jaw, my neck... I noticed he was starting to pull at the ties of my hunter coat.

“How I have longed for you,” he groaned into my skin. “I apologize for my selfishness, but I must have you for my final night.” He nearly had my whole coat undone. How was he this fast??? There must have been like fifty knots and buckles on my jacket.

“You’re extremely selfish,” I breathed. “Giving me all this just to take it away tomorrow.” Saying it out loud made it all the more real. I immediately felt angry. Angry that he was choosing to leave me, walking readily to his death. I hadn’t gone back to my world like I thought I might, which probably meant I was stuck in Thedas forever. And it would be without Solas.

I broke away from him, lurching my body off of his to lie on the grass instead.

“Anna,” Solas said, alarmed by the change. He turned his body towards mine, propping himself up on an elbow. Placing a hand on my waist, he gently pulled me back towards him.

“I didn’t disappear, Solas,” I said, trying to ignore the desire to keep touching him. “I’m still here. Does it really have to be tomorrow? Can’t we spend more time together?”

“I would spend eternity with you,” Solas said. “But each day would only betray my people further.” His hand caressed my face. “You must accept this. You have known for a long time what my plans are.” He brushed some hair away from my forehead.

I looked up at him. “I don’t want you to die,” I said.

“And I do not want you to feel pain,” he replied, “but they are both inevitable.”

I covered my face with my hands, breathing slowly. “This is so fucked up.”

Solas peeled my hands away, staring into my eyes intently. “Ar lath ma, Anna.” He kissed my knuckles. “Let us enjoy this time together.”

“Ar lath ma, too.” I laughed lightly, bittersweetly. “Or however you say it.” I reached a hand up to his ear to trace its tip. He remained still, eyes shifting around my face. I touched his cheek with my other hand, and soon started feeling all the features of his face, trying to memorize them as best I could.

He watched me do this for a time, but soon leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips. It was so sweet and tender, and I tried to forget about what would come tomorrow, focusing only on the feeling of his touch.

Soon our lips became more eager, and Solas resumed his task of removing my clothing. He pulled off my hunter coat, which I let him, consumed by my tongue playing with his. Next, he was tugging at my top, and I started pulling at his, which he helped me with, luckily, because there were way too many layers on him. When his final shirt was removed, I trailed my hands down the muscles of his torso, reveling in the feeling of his skin. God, he was so hot for an ancient.

He laughed, probably at whatever perverted expression I was making, and I giggled as he kissed my collarbone. And we continued to kiss as he laid us both down again, our topless upper bodies pressed tightly together. My hands grazed along his back, fingertips greedily feeling every inch of its smooth surface. His skin felt so wonderful against mine.

And he was sucking along my throat when he sneakily crept a hand under the waistband of my trousers, feeling between my thighs. I felt a deep chuckle against my skin as he whispered to me, “You are an ocean.” He licked my neck. “How dare you even think to deny me when your body sings this way?” Solas slid his willowy fingers inside me then, forcing a moan from my lips.

My back arched as he expertly massaged between my legs. Why was he so good at this?? I was like putty beneath him, whimpering and shuddering uncontrollably. “Please, Solas, please,” I begged, but he only gave me a devious smile.

I started pulling at his pants then, determined to have my revenge. I yanked at the laces of them impatiently, and when I got them down to his knees and saw the length of his... gulp. It was shocking. “Oh, my god,” I said aloud in disbelief.

“Yes?” he answered teasingly.

“Um,” I said awkwardly. “It’s just surprising when it’s... when it’s... you know.” Big. Hard. I can’t even…

“It’s yours, vhenan.”

I gripped at it then, running my hand down his length and causing him to groan, and holy shit, that thing was like a fucking rock, and I probably would’ve been almost terrified if I didn’t want it so badly... and oh, I wanted it bad.

But Solas was a total tease and just continued to kiss me. He had removed his fingers from me, too, and just started to kiss along my body, sucking and licking where he saw fit. He paused at my breasts, taking an extra amount of time in delighting himself with them. “Perfection, vhenan,” he cooed quietly.

He slid off my pants (and boots... and smalls) completely as he moved downwards. “You are exquisite,” he whispered, and then he bowed his head between my legs and nope, no, no, no. I can’t take this shit. Too fucking much, oh my godddddd.

And I pretty much came right away, a high-pitched moan falling out of my mouth, which was slightly embarrassing, but god, it felt good and this elf was crazy with his tongue, holy fuck.

He licked the length of my thigh before asking all innocently, “Did you enjoy it?” Oh, this bastard, this friggin’ hobo. He knew. He knew. And it was written all over his smug face.

“Fuck,” was all I could muster in my “exquisiteness.”

He laughed and then leaned above me again, his face hovering over mine. “But I can’t let you go yet,” he said with a devilish grin. His fingers were sliding along my body then, making little patterns or something or... oh, shit, he was drawing runes now. Fucking runes on my fucking skin. Ice, fire, lightning, he didn’t give a fuck. Just go, go, go.

It wasn’t painful either, just more like incredibly, intensely stimulating, taking my nerves on a rollercoaster. “You’re a monster,” I whispered, but I still wanted him. I wanted the whole thing, the real thing, his thing that he still kept at a careful distance. Dammit, just fuck me already.

I leaned forward out of desperation, grabbing at his... elfhood again, and he groaned at the touch, and as I rubbed and I pulled, determined to get him feeling just as frantic as I was. His eyes became dark, and he ripped my hands away, pinning them above me and out of reach. “I am not finished,” he said with a smile, and as my punishment he cast another fire rune right inside me.

I moaned, feeling sure I was going to come yet again, and I shouted, “Just take me already, Dread Wolf!!”

And he laughed, kissing me tenderly on the mouth, and he finally did it. He fucking did it. One thrust and he was in, filling me up and curling me towards him. And yes, it was good. It was so, so, so good.

He didn’t move at first, almost as if something was wrong, and as I searched his face for an answer, his closed eyes gave nothing away. “Vhenan,” he whispered after what felt like agonizingly long seconds. “You feel incredible.” He slowly opened his eyelids, gazing down at me and smiling with this gentle, loving look in his eyes.

I smiled, and geez, I felt like crying I was so happy, like I was finally whole. This hobo completes me. How cheesy was I?

He proceeded to move then, carefully sliding out before slowly thrusting in again, and as he did so, he kept his eyes locked on mine, like I was the only thing he could see.

I rolled my hips in time with his, angling them for a deeper entry. He felt so amazing, and the further inside he went, the more pleasure I felt. His magic or aura or something was pressing all along my skin as well, gently kissing and stroking my every nerve.

I came again, arching my back and clinging my hands tighter to him, moaning, “Solas.” He caught my mouth in a kiss, tangling a hand into my hair. He broke away to look at me, a little smile on his lips, and I felt so overwhelmed right then and there by how much I loved him. “Vhenan,” I whispered.

He moaned, absolutely reeling from the word, closing his eyes and sinking his head to kiss my neck. His movements became quicker then, as if he were no longer able to keep a slower pace. He kept his face in the crook of my neck, sending ragged breaths prickling across my skin. The momentum of his thrusts accelerated, little grunts escaping him.

Each one felt like ecstasy, and I only wanted more. It was like pure elvhen glory, unbearably satisfying, and it felt so good, so very, very good. I was feeling my pleasure near its peak again when he suddenly pulled out, breaking away from me and rocking back to sit on his ankles, breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong?!” I asked, alarmed.

His eyes were closed, and he was still exhaling deeply. He shook his head. “I was nearly...” he trailed off breathlessly.

I rolled my eyes, sitting up. As I crawled towards him on my knees, he opened his eyes, watching me with heavy-lidded desire. When I reached him, I hiked my legs around his, and gently lowered myself down, joining us again. He let out a little moan from the feeling and enveloped me again in his arms.

I kissed him, placing my hands around his neck and rocking my hips back and forth. He moaned some more, and I whispered a warning into his ear, “Never do that again.” But I had absolutely nothing to threaten him with. I only kissed his neck several times, drawing in his scent with my nose. He smelled amazing.

“What will you do to me, vhenan?” he asked my ear, licking the curve of it.

“This,” I said, smiling, and I used all the force of my body to push him onto his back. He landed with an oompf! into the grass.

Solas laughed, pulling my face towards him with his hands so he could kiss me again. I was straddled on top of him now, and I continued to move my hips in a way we both found pleasing, but this time going faster.

“Anna,” he moaned, and his hands glided down my back until he reached the bottom, my bottom, that is, squeezing and pulling me lower. He took a hand away to slide between our bodies, until he was touching between my thighs, making me gasp from the sensual contact.

I met his lips with mine again and started moving even faster, as fast as I could go. We were both so near, I could feel it, and he started to say my name, over and over, like some desperate prayer.

And then he came inside me, his body convulsed towards mine, and I came, too, and his groan was so loud it even scared some birds away. I relaxed on top of him, lying on his chest while he softened beneath me. “Ar lath ma, Anna, ma vhenan,” he whispered in my ear, kissing my hair.

“Ar lath ma.”

Yep. I just fucked Fen’Harel.

Chapter Text

I was lying next to Solas on the ground, taking deep breaths. “Oh, my god,” I said, a realization hitting me. I covered my eyes with one hand. “Am I pregnant with some wolf baby now?”

Solas laughed, pulling me towards him until my body was flush against his. “No,” he said, wrapping his arms around me, “I used a contraceptive spell.”

“Oh,” I said, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck. “Then can we do it again?” I asked, smiling slyly.

He kissed my hair. “If you are still able,” he said into my ear.

I twisted my head, looking up at him. “You think I can’t handle it, Fen?” I asked accusingly.

He smiled, chuckling. “I went easy on you,” he said with an impish grin.

I rolled my eyes. “How do you know that I didn’t go easy on you?” I asked. “Hmmm??”

Solas put a hand to my face, grabbing my chin. “I find that highly doubtful,” he said, smiling with one eyebrow in the air.

I leaned in and kissed him. “Well, let’s see about that.”

And we started again. And again. And did it a few more times. And I knew I should have been tired, but Solas had some sort of rejuvenating magic that he would continuously pour into me, energizing and renewing my desire.

Eventually, we ended up in a river, which I soon realized was planned by the hobo to have a quick wash. We were covered in sweat and sex, and frost runes could only relieve so much. I dunked my head in the water, letting the current wash over my skin. Solas did the same, and when I emerged, he put his arms around me, his chest to my back.

I felt something hard press against me, so I asked, “Again?” This wolf.

“I will never tire of your magnificence,” he said, his lips to my neck. “I would pleasure you for millennia, ma nehn.”

“I thought I couldn't call you 'ma nehn?'”

“You can, if that is what I am to you. Your joy.” He smiled. “In Elvhenan, the term was used for those bonded together.”

“Bonded?”

“Yes.” He ran his thumb along my jaw. “The closest one could be to another.”

“Ma nehn,” I said, then kissed him.

After we finished once more, he lifted me off him to set me down on the river’s edge, my feet still dangling in the water as I sat in the grass. He smiled. “Are you hungry, vhenan?”

I hadn’t really noticed until he asked, but I was starving. I nodded, smiling and pulling him closer for a kiss.

“Then I shall return shortly,” he said against my lips. He broke away from me with a smile. Solas then leapt from the creek to the ground, turning mid-air into his wolf form, four paws hitting the grass. He gave me a sloppy lick on the cheek before sprinting off into the forest.

“Ack!” I said, laughing. I used the river water to wipe off the slobber, and then turned my attention to my surroundings. This forest was lovely, that was for sure. It was lush and jungly, with beautiful green canopies that filtered the sun in golden hues. It was warm, too, the air humid and thick with remnants of ancient magic.

The Dread Wolf soon returned with a rabbit dangling bloodily from his muzzle. He shapeshifted to his elf form, dropping the animal into his hands in the process. Solas grinned arrogantly at me, wiping some blood from his face and looking like quite the feral hobo.

“Have fun?” I asked, still seated on the ground.

“I have not hunted in that form for a long time,” he said, walking himself closer to me. He sat on the ground beside me and started preparing the meal, collecting some wood and lighting it with fire. He also found some berries as he did so, which we ate as the meat roasted.

As we enjoyed our meal together, Solas asked, “Anna… I have been wondering. The legends about me from your world. What did they say of me?”

I smiled. “Like did they paint you in a good light?”

“No,” he said, smiling back at me. “I meant how you learned of specific details of my life… Such as my private moments with the Inquisitor.”

“Oh.” I swallowed, a pit of dread punching my stomach. I had wanted to tell him about the game eventually... I supposed now would be the time. “Well, it’s kind of strange to explain.”

“Strange?”

“You’ve seen my world,” I said, and he nodded. “You know that we have all sorts of machines, right?”

He smiled. “Like the rollercoaster.”

“Yeah, exactly,” I said, scratching my neck. “Well, we also have machines that show you stories, kind of like that boat ride, I guess? But they’re a bit more interactive, and you’re able to play them.”

“Play them?”

“Yes, like you experience the story for yourself. You can even make different choices and see how the story changes.”

“How interesting,” Solas remarked. He seemed highly intrigued by the concept.

“It is,” I said. “It’s fun.”

“Was it entertainment?”

I swallowed, glancing down in guilt. “Yeah… it was.”

Solas breathed out a little laugh. “So much entertainment in your world.”

“I know…” I said, looking away from him. “My life was pretty easy back home.”

He touched my hand, bringing back my gaze to his again. “So you experienced stories about Thedas,” he summarized.

I nodded. “And that’s where I learned about you, and the Inquisitor, and all the stuff with Corypheus. It was all a story that I had played through,” I said. “And when you play them, it’s kind of similar to the Fade because you see all the different scenes come to life. The people speak and walk around, and you can talk to them.”

His lips formed a half-smile. “And you spoke to me?”

“All the time,” I said, smiling back.

Solas laid himself down on his back, staring up at the trees hanging over us. “And you learned all my secrets through this. You even learned the details of my relationship with the Inquisitor?”

“Um, yeah,” I said awkwardly. “But… it wasn’t just from talking to you. When I said you could interact and experience the story for yourself, I meant… I meant the experience of a specific person. You play as that person.”

Solas swallowed. “Who did you play as?” he asked, though I thought he might have already realized.

I watched him intently. “Inquisitor Lavellan.”

“I see,” he said quietly from the ground, pursing his mouth into a frown. “And you experienced everything as her?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say everything. But any of the big events, yeah. And some, um, key moments with you.”

Solas did not speak for a while. “That is… quite the revelation, Anna,” he eventually said.

I nodded, his change in demeanor worrying me. It was the first time he’d been so quiet and contemplative since the transfer. “That’s why I knew so much about her… about the Inquisition,” I went on. “I’d done everything as Lavellan, making all the same decisions she did. The alliance with the mages, making Gaspard emperor with Briala...” I shrugged. “All the major choices.” I made that Gurlll.

Solas still lay on the ground, taking in this strange information. He laughed a little in disbelief. “This is very unexpected indeed.” He turned his gaze to me. “I always thought she shined so bright, leading the Inquisition fearlessly... and then I met you, someone who knew so much about me, and yet still insisted on befriending me.” He sat up from the grass, still not touching me, and I wondered if I repulsed him now, if my confession was too disturbing.

But my unasked question was soon answered, as he planted a palm on the ground for balance, and he leaned in and kissed me again. He only barely broke away to continue speaking, resting his forehead on mine.

“Nothing clouded your optimism. And you had such compassion for Thedosians—for a world you were not a part of, which astonished me. Even more so now that I know you believed it fictional,” Solas said, holding my face gently with his other hand. “Even your occasional wisdom surprised me.”

“Occasional?” I asked eyebrow raised.

“It certainly is rare,” Solas teased, then brought his mouth to mine again. He pulled away to gaze at me, his voice going soft. “You gave me an overwhelming sense of freedom, a relief from the deceit and half-truths I had to weave for everyone else. And… and you are so delightful, Anna. Gregarious and kind in a way I am not. It was comforting to be around you, like a refuge from the storm. And this troubled me—how you could make me feel so at ease. More than anyone.” He swallowed. “More than her.”

I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t sure what to say, but his words made me so incredibly sad, yet happy all at once.

“The Inquisitor is a marvelous spirit,” Solas continued, leaning back on his hands again. “I will always admire what she has accomplished. She opened my eyes to what the elves could be. For what they are.” He paused. “I think I will always care for her, but… there was a piece missing.”

“Because of your secret,” I offered.

“Yes, but something else,” he said. “She… she thought so highly of me. She placed me upon a pedestal I did not deserve.”

“You don’t think I do that too?” I asked.

Solas smiled. “I suppose you do, but not in the same way. Because you know who I am, and—you challenge me, Anna. In nearly a frustrating way.” He touched my cheek briefly before returning his hand to the ground. “But she never did. She would agree to anything, just because I said it. Even the ways of the Dalish, which she believed so fiercely… she would turn from. For me.”

“Solas, that’s not fair. It’s because she loved you,” I said. “She believed in you, and… isn’t that what you wanted, anyway? For her to learn the truth about her people?”

“Yes. I did, but… it felt like a manipulation—like she would change her thoughts to mine if I only asked.” Solas swallowed uneasily. “And… a part of me even wanted it. To change her.”

I hummed, at a loss for words again.

“So I think,” Solas said, “that even if I had told her the truth about me, she would have accepted. Just as you claimed she would have.” He sighed. “But it would still feel wrong.”

“I never knew you felt that way,” I said.

“I would never divulge this to you. And it took me some time to realize it, regardless,” he said, studying me. “I tried to convince myself it was the same with you. But of course, you are impossibly stubborn.” He smiled, reaching for a lock of my hair to wrap around his finger. “Then I assumed once you exhausted your questions of my past, you would tire of me, and there would be nothing left for you to care for.”

“Solas. I’ll never tire of you.”

“It does not matter, even if you do,” he said. “Because we have come to the end.” He took a deep breath. “The heart does not always travel the steadiest course, but I am glad it brought me to you.”

“But… now that you know the truth of how I learned everything, don’t you think it’s creepy? That I cheated my way to your heart?”

He laughed a little. “You certainly did not,” Solas said. “At most, your knowledge prevented me from killing you immediately.” He pulled me close to kiss me. “I cannot even imagine if I had. How empty my heart would feel now.” He smiled again, lifting a hand to my jaw. “But yes, it is bizarre that you would pretend to be her.”

“I didn’t think it was real.”

“I know,” he said. “I do not fault you for it. But it is still very strange to think.”

“I really loved you, you know,” I said. “Back in my realm. You were my favorite part of the story.” I swallowed, glancing down. “It took me a while for you to feel real, though, when I came here. I’m not sure when it even happened.”

“Sometimes I still feel you are a dream.” He pressed his lips to mine again. “Ma da’nera.”

I gazed into his blue eyes for a while. He had confessed so much to me, but… there was still something I wondered. “Did you ever feel guilty about your feelings for me?” I asked. “Because of… how quickly you moved on from her?

His brows lifted. “You thought it was quick?”

I shrugged. “For you, yes. I’m sure everything feels short to you, as an immortal.”

“It would have, before the Veil. But not anymore,” he replied, then hesitated a moment. “Yes, I did feel uneasy. Not from the abruptness necessarily, but because you are...” He gave me a thin smile, looking almost ashamed. “A human. I have never cared for one before. In some ways, it feels like…”

“Betrayal?”

Solas nodded. “Yes. I hope you can understand my reluctance. To feel so strongly for—for someone who isn’t one of the People…”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I understand.”

“I tried so hard to stay away from you, Anna. But you never let me for long,” he said, smiling.

I smiled in return. “I know. I haven’t always been… respectful of your boundaries.”

“No.” He took my chin in his hand. “But I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy it.” He kissed me. “And I was not always respectful of yours.”

“What terrible people we are,” I said, grinning.

Solas laughed. His gaze wandered my face, moving all around it until he met my eyes again and pulled me into a strong embrace. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” I returned. I smiled and felt so elated, like a great weight had been lifted from my chest. So much was finally right between us.

“I have never spoken those words before,” Solas said. He still held me close, and his breath was warm against my skin.

“Does it feel strange? Empty?”

“No,” he said, smiling, “because it is your language, and how you first confessed your love to me. It feels like more, I think.”

I smiled. “That’s how it feels for me, too.” I kissed him. “Ar lath ma.”

“I love you,” he said again.

Chapter Text

We both fell asleep after that, his arms still wrapped around me and my head resting against his chest. I didn’t want to sleep, honestly, but I was tired after the meal and also knew he wanted to rest. He had expelled a lot of mana from our, uh, jaunts.

I felt overjoyed from our conversation, but it only seemed to increase the looming misery of losing him so soon. Does he really have to die?

Everything finally felt right now, truths out in the open and our emotions unmasked. But I supposed it was just like Solas to abandon it immediately. My only consolation was that sleep brought dreams, and my vhenan was a somniari.

When I opened my eyes, it was bright, but somehow I could tell it was the Fade. I looked around and observed my surroundings. It was a village, a town square encircled by small wooden houses. I soon felt Solas’s presence behind me, and he took my hand. I turned to him and saw his hair was long again, flowing down his back, and his complexion glowed radiantly. “This is where I was raised,” he told me, his bright blue gaze pouring into mine. “I wanted you to see it.”

I placed a hand on his chest, running my fingers down the material of his crisp blue tunic. “Thank you,” I told him, smiling. “I've always wondered about it.”

Solas smiled and kissed me, and then he led me through the town. We walked along a cobblestone path, but they didn’t light up the way the tiles in Arlathan did. The village was surrounded by a forest, and several of the trees actually merged with the buildings.

Their branches curved into arches, supporting the structure of their roofs. In fact, looking closer, I realized that the village was built around the trees, fusing to them in a natural fashion.

“So you were born here, Solas?” I asked, glancing around the town. “How long ago was this?”

He was silent a moment, observing me. “Nearly nine thousand years ago,” Solas finally answered. He watched me, gauging my reaction.

“Nine... thousand years ago?” I said under my breath, then snorted. “You really are hahren.”

“How old are you, vhenan?” he asked curiously.

I smiled, shaking my head. NINE THOUSAND. How was that even possible?? “I don’t even want to tell you,” I said, putting a palm to my cheek. “But way, way younger than you.”

He smiled, pulling my hand away from my face and holding it in his own. “Does this upset you?”

“Nah,” I said, “I already knew you were old... I’m just a little surprised, that’s all.” I smiled up at him. But still... nine thousand... That’s pretty old, man.

He kissed my hair and then continued to walk me through the town, gliding a hand around my waist. The buildings became scarcer as we walked, and I guessed that we were in a residential neighborhood now.

“I was not born a noble,” Solas explained as he guided me along. “But my status was heightened by my exceptional skill in magic.” He stopped us in front of a house. It had a glass window stained with the image of a tree. “It was Mythal who discovered me. I had traveled to Arlathan with my parents, and she detected my abilities.”

A little elven boy emerged from the house, pulling a woman by the hand. He looked about five or six, and his big blue eyes shone brilliantly. The boy said something to the woman in Elvish, and she laughed in return.

“That was me as a child,” Solas said, gazing upon his younger self (who was super cute, by the way). “And that is my mother,” he quietly added.

“She’s lovely,” I commented, observing the woman. She had long, copper-colored hair that hung freely down her back, though some of the locks were pulled away from her face and braided around the crown of her head. His mother had sharp features, just like her son, and her smile was so bright and happy. I looked back at Solas to compare their likeness.

He was sorrowful as he gazed upon her, his eyes downcast and his mouth in a grave frown. “She was incredibly strong, and enduring, as she gave me to the Evanuris knowing I could never return,” he explained in a low voice.

“Oh,” I said. “That’s... terrible.” Giving up your son forever...

“It was an honor, but also a tremendous loss for her and my father.” He watched his mother, who was now walking her child past us and towards the town center. “I seldom saw them after that.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, leaning into him.

Solas turned to me, smiling sadly. “I do not often think of them,” he confessed. “But as it is the eve of my death, I am feeling nostalgic.”

“How are you so sure they’ll kill you?” I asked, looking up at him. “Won’t they need you?”

He lifted his gaze to his mother again as she disappeared into the town. “Mythal told me something similar, but… I know the Evanuris are too vindictive to let me live. I will die.”

I took a deep breath. “Does it really have to be tomorrow?” I asked. My voice was starting to shake.

“Yes,” he said, staring back at me with a frown on his mouth. “I was greedy to even delay it a day.” Solas brought a hand to my face, smiling a little. “But it has been one of the happiest memories of my life.” He kissed me again. “I will die selfishly content from knowing your love.”

I started to cry then and threw my arms around him. His resolve was unflinching, his duty above anything else. It was pointless to try and convince him otherwise. He had decided this long before he had ever met me. I had to swallow the pain. I took another heavy breath and looked into his eyes. “Solas, I... I hope you know how happy you’ve made me. How much you’ve changed my life.”

“You have changed mine.” He placed a hand on my face. “I hope you find your way back to your world, Anna,” Solas said. “Perhaps my spirit can find yours there, like you found me.” He pulled my head towards his, meeting his lips with mine. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize exactly how it felt.

When I opened my eyes again, we were somewhere else completely. It was a ball, much like the one from the first Fade dream he had ever brought me to. We stood in the middle of the dancefloor, with noble-looking elves prancing all around us.

“Why here?” I asked him, surprised. The ballroom was dimly lit, but wisps of light floated around us, illuminating the area like small golden stars.

Solas smiled at me. “I want to dance with you, vhenan,” he said, almost timidly.

I smiled. “The Dread Wolf just wants to dance, huh?”

He laughed. “With you, Anna, always.” It was then that I noticed I was wearing a beautiful floor-length gown, clothed in a blue the same color as his eyes. It had layers and layers, sparkling gently in a magical way.

Solas was wearing a nice elven-y suit, the same color as my dress, but trimmed with silky layers of silver. He soon raised my hand with his in the air, while his other was placed at my waist. He smiled at me, and we started our dance. I didn’t know the steps, but Solas was so good at leading, it didn’t matter.

He spun me around, moving me to a rhythm I couldn’t really hear, but rather felt. Solas really was an excellent dancer. He strode with elegant purpose, stepping easily in a pattern he had learned from long ago. I wondered if his grace came from some natural ability, or if it was simply an effect of practice.

We waltzed across the floor, and I laughed at his enthusiasm. He returned a laugh too, and after spinning me around again, he caught me in a kiss. “You are quite ungraceful,” he smirked with a wolfish grin.

“You’re so mean,” I said, my tone indignant, but I was smiling, regardless.

“And yet,” he continued, smiling as if I had not said anything, “I could not want for a better partner.” He pressed his lips to my cheek. “If I were blind to everything but your dancing, I would be content,” he whispered into my ear.

“Solas,” I said, practically in tears from the sweetness of his words, “you can’t mean that.”

He smiled. “Ar lath ma,” he whispered, and then he met my lips again, holding me close to his body.

Solas continued to kiss me, ceasing all dancing, until we were both fervently clasping onto each other, my leg hitching up along his side, and his hand sliding down it.

I lost my balance and began to fall, with his tightly bound body following. But as we landed on the floor, it was soft and comfortable, and I opened my eyes to see we were on something white and fluffy now, our fine clothing “magically” disappeared.

“Solas!” I exclaimed, realizing where we were and sitting upright. “We’re on a cloud,” I said, absolutely mesmerized. I leaned over the side of it, sitting on my knees and peering down at what I presumed to be Thedas. We were miles above the ground, and I could see tiny rivers and trees as we gently floated along in the breeze. Touching the cloud only felt like cool air of no real substance, and yet there was some invisible force holding just the two of us up.

“Elvhenan is below us,” Solas explained, appearing at my side and wrapping an arm around me. “When Arlathan fell, it crushed several villages in Thedas, killing thousands in the crash.” His voice was full of regret as he described the event.

“So it literally fell? From the sky?” I wondered.

“Yes,” Solas said solemnly. “All due to the rebellion that I initiated.”

I looked at him, and he turned to me, eyes sad. “But you didn’t know that would happen. It wasn’t your fault!”

He shook his head. “It is entirely my fault,” he said, placing a hand gently on my cheek. “But there is no point in arguing. It fell long ago.”

I exhaled. Solas didn’t want to be comforted, didn’t want to be convinced otherwise. His plan was all set. There was no preventing it.

“I know this is hard for you,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “But please know this is also painful for me. I don’t want to leave you.”

I nodded. “I know, vhenan.” I gave him a weak smile. “I understand.”

Solas brought me into a warm embrace. “Anna,” he whispered. “My heart.” He softly pressed his lips to my forehead, and then traveled downwards to my cheekbone, my nose, my jaw... He was kissing every part of my face until he finally reached my lips, and it was with such passion that we both fell down into the softness of that magical cloud.

He sent feathery kisses down my neck, and I explored his bare body, clutching at whatever I could grasp. I need to remember this. The way his skin felt beneath my fingers, the way his eyes looked as he gazed lovingly into mine, the way his voice sounded as he whispered my name... He soon entered me again, barely wasting a moment, and clouds drifted around us as we joined together again and again in the Fade.

And I couldn’t help but feel like I would never love another as much as I loved him.

Chapter Text

Solas was already awake when I opened my eyes. He smiled, watching me with loving admiration. “Vhenan,” he said, combing his fingers through my hair to cradle my head. Our limbs were still entangled, and I lifted my face to kiss him, which he eagerly returned.

Today was the day. I was grateful Solas had made our time in the Fade feel more like days instead of hours, but it did little to ease the pain of knowing what was to come. I traced my fingers down his chest and along his body, knowing this would probably be the last time. Life was so cruel.

A few tears escaped from my eyes, which he tenderly wiped away, pulling me closer to him in a gentle embrace. He whispered some things in Elvish, things I didn’t understand, but they sounded nice and sweet and comforting, almost like a soothing lullaby. In that moment, that small, little moment, it was all going to be okay. We loved each other, and he was protecting me, keeping me safe from the pain. I breathed him in, took in his scent, his aura...

But it only lasted a few minutes before he broke away and heaved himself up. I remained on the ground, silently crying from the loss of his touch and warmth, realizing how soon it was all going to happen.

As I did this, he walked around gathering things, but I kept my eyes closed, pretending like it wasn’t happening. When I felt him near me again, I opened my eyes to see he was kneeling beside me, fully clothed and holding my own garments.

“It is time to dress,” he said gently, pulling me into a sitting position by the arms, and I unwillingly put my clothing on. I don’t want this to happen.

After I was clothed again, he hugged me tightly. “Vhenan,” he murmured, and he gave me one last slow, tender kiss. I felt every emotion possible with his lips: love, longing, sorrow. It broke my heart to pieces.

Solas eventually tore away and started walking into the forest, leaving me to follow. I cried out in agony, not wanting to accept what was happening, but having no other choice. I reluctantly followed him through the jungle, until we arrived at the eluvian we had used only yesterday. Solas unlocked it again, barely gesturing his hand, and then he turned to me, looking pale and bleak. He remained silent, but he took my hand, and together we entered the Crossroads.

Solas took his time leading us through the paths of endless mirrors. He walked slowly, seemingly in no hurry, and I let go of his hand to wrap it around his waist instead, and he slid his arm around mine in turn. As we moved, I thought about our time together. The dreams, the fights, the laughs... Even those memories when it was just the two of us in his rotunda, and he was only reading. It was aching to remember because I knew I could never have that again.

Solas stopped, and I realized we were both standing in front of that enormous eluvian again, with statues of Fen’Harel and Mythal towering above us. He turned to me, his expression solemn and full of remorse. “Dareth shiral, Anna,” he said, gazing deeply into my eyes. “Even in death, I will always love you.”

“Ar lath ma, Solas.” I hugged him and cried again, whimpering, “I will never stop loving you.”

He kissed my hair and then pulled me off of him, gently pushing my body away. “The path remains lit,” he said without looking at me. “Please follow it back to Skyhold.” He turned to the eluvian. “Be safe, vhenan, and live well... Live on without me, as happily as you can.”

I stood there, incredibly depressed and refusing to move, not wanting to leave. I glanced at the stone tiles he had referred to, and they did indeed still glow a faint blue. What was the point of returning to Skyhold? He wouldn’t be there. It wasn’t my home, not without him. “How can I?” I whispered, my voice desperate. “How can I ever be happy without you?”

Solas didn’t respond, but only stood there a few moments, staring at the mirror. He bowed his head, a sorrowful hunch in his posture, but he still refused to look at me.

Minutes passed, and I thought, naively, that perhaps he had decided against it, that he would finally stop. But then, without even waiting for me to leave, he started opening the portal.

Solas held his palms up before him, and a bright blue light emerged from his fingers. I backed away, realizing he was now casting his spell, and walked a few paces to give him enough room. I watched as the light floated towards the mirror, illuminating and melting its surface into a flowing magical field. I should leave, I should go... but my feet wouldn’t move.

The air filled with magic. Humming, breathing with life. Ancient whispers long kept silent, like an unending song with no words or music. Staring into the eluvian was blinding, as the portal shone like pure white light.

Solas stooped to his knees, head bowed in submission. Glowing entities soon emerged from the eluvian, taking careful, hesitant steps out onto the ground. Wonderment and fear washed over me in equal measure. It’d all happened so much faster than I expected. Seven emerged from behind the shimmering glass, each taking the shapes of elves. The pantheon.

At first, they only looked like bright lights in elven form, as spirits from the Fade did, their features cloaked in silvery white. But as the moments passed, the shining faded, and their bodies became flesh, like life revived.

Had they been conscious in that mirror? Merely waiting in their prison as centuries ticked by? Or did his magic awaken them just now, drawing them out?

One particularly tall elf stepped ahead of the rest, approaching the kneeling Solas. “Fen’Harel,” he said, his voice deep and rich. He started saying several things in their ancient tongue that I couldn’t understand, but by the look on his face, he seemed vehement. His hair was long and white, and his eyes nearly black, or perhaps they were black, as I was too far away to really see them.

The elf’s tone was incredulous and full of rage, his eyes burning with passion. Solas stared straight into his gaze though, speaking in a calm, measured voice. Something happened to the standing man as Solas spoke, because his expression flipped to one of amazement. He tilted his head curiously at Solas, reaching his hand out towards him. “Mythal...” he gasped.

A burst of purple light emerged from Solas and floated towards the other elf. He accepted Mythal’s essence gratefully, clutching his chest and closing his eyes. Opening them slowly, he focused again on the Dread Wolf.

My heart pounded as I watched this exchange from afar. This was the moment, the time I should flee. He’s going to kill Solas now.

And I knew that was what Solas expected, even probably what he wanted, as remorseful as he was, but I couldn’t stand there and watch him die. I moved without thinking, my boots clacking loudly on the stones. “Wait!” I shouted. All the elves, save Solas, snapped their attention to me, dark glowing eyes questioning my presence, as if they hadn’t noticed me before now.

I wasn’t strong enough to stop them from killing him, but perhaps I could somehow convince them not to. I threw my arms around Solas, who was still kneeling, looking towards the pantheon.

“He can help you!” I said uselessly. “Please, don’t hurt him.”

“Anna,” Solas said softly, his hand touching one of my arms around him.

And suddenly, a flash of light and a loud crack, and I felt a sharp pain that was gone in an instant. The world before me blazed white before turning all to black, and soon I was falling...

It stopped. Everything stopped. The world was still black, but I felt like I had landed somewhere. And I couldn’t move.

Am I dead?

A noise in the distance, faint and far-off.

Beep... beep... beep... A beeping noise? It sounded digital, artificial. Where am I?

“Hey, she needs help! Something’s wrong!” a voice shouted. The frequency of the beeping got faster and faster.

Then silence.

“Get the defibrillator,” a much calmer voice sounded.

“Will she be okay? What’s wrong with her?!” the first voice demanded.

“Can someone get her out of here, please?” There was a slight panic in his voice, like he was losing his composure.

There were many noises now, sounds of struggle. “But wait! Anna!” she cried.

What’s happening to me?!

Hands on my body, pressing harshly into my skin, my chest. It hurt, it frightened me. “On my count... one, two, three... CLEAR!”

A shock crashed through my body, painfully flowing from my chest to my limbs. I wasn’t dead. I was dying.

Chapter Text

My body was unresponsive, no matter how hard I tried to move. But I still felt the pain, and heard all that was going on around me.

“She’s still in cardiac arrest!” a loud voice yelled.

“CLEAR!” That sharp pain jolted through my body again, like lightning striking my core.

I still couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t see, but I felt hands on my body, pricking and prodding and pumping on my skin in harsh movements.

I wanted to scream, thrash around, force them away. I’m here, I’m alive, I can feel!!

The pain soon became unbearable, and I lost consciousness again.

* * *

“I don’t understand! She’s been calm for months, just lying here sleeping...” a worried voice said, stirring me back to awareness. I recognized this voice! It was my mother’s—a voice I hadn't heard since I landed in Thedas.

“The doctors said this can happen sometimes, especially when a patient has been comatose for so long. The heart weakens...” another voice said quietly. My father’s!

My mother was crying softly, and I felt her hold my hand. Mom.

“I thought this change could mean she was finally waking up. But she’s exactly as before again.” Her voice was shaky, and with every word, the grip on my hand became tighter. “What if she never wakes up?”

“It’s been months, Grace. Six months already... This may be all she’ll ever be,” my father said in an anguished tone. “Maybe we need to let her go,” he added in a whisper.

Moments passed where they said nothing, and all I could hear were their shaking breaths and the beeping of the machinery around me.

My father exhaled sharply. “I wish I hadn’t pushed her so much.” He sniffled. “I just pushed her away.” Then he began to cry.

“We only wanted what was best for her,” my mom said.

“But we fought constantly. I picked at every little thing she did.” He took a heavy breath. “For pointless crap. She would have figured out her life eventually. I didn’t need to make it so hard on her.”

“We were both hard on her.”

“I was worse. So much worse,” my dad said. “Maybe this is my punishment.” His voice broke on the last sentence, and I heard some low weeping noises.

“Honey, stop. There’s no point in beating yourself up,” she said. “No one could have predicted this.”

“God, I just—would Anna even want this? Lying here like a human vegetable? This isn’t a life.” His voice sounded so sad and pained.

My mother only sobbed louder from his words. “But she’s my little girl! I can’t just let her go.”

“But she’s already dying. This could be painful for her, for all we know. We need to consider letting her go…”

This was agony. My parents were mourning, as if I were already dead, and discussing whether they should continue my life support. They were talking about me... about killing me, and I couldn’t even tell them anything.

My mother let go of my hand, and she and my father left the room in quiet whimpers. I was alone now, with only the beeping sound of my heart to keep me company.

This had to be worse than death. To lie here, doing nothing, waiting to die. Had I died? What happened to Solas? Did the elves kill us both? Was I transported here by my death?

My parents said it had been six months. That was about how long I had been in Thedas. Had my body been comatose here the entire time?

I’d lost control of my body. Was this a result of being killed there? Did my brain think I died? I tried to move my fingers, my toes, anything, but I remained still, lifeless. I’m dead, aren’t I?

I willed my muscles as much as I could, trying to budge them just a millimeter. Move, move, please move. But nothing happened. My body was dead. I was only a shell.

I wanted to go back. I needed to go back. Even if Solas was... I didn’t want to think about it. If this was my original life now, then all I had left was Thedas.

But no. That was gone, too, wasn’t it? I had died back there, and now I was practically dead here, too. I wanted to cry, to scream, anything, but I couldn’t, and the despair from it all made everything worse. I had nothing. I was nothing.

* * *

“Hey, it’s me, Lauren. Remember me? Your roommate?” she asked. Her voice roused me from a semi-slumber, and I felt excitement from hearing someone I knew. A visitor! My friend Lauren!

She sighed. “You probably can’t even hear me... but I don’t know, maybe you can. Someone told me I should try talking to you, so I thought I’d stop by.”

She was silent for a few minutes, and I heard a couple of quiet sobs. “I was the one that found you, you know. Just passed out on our couch.” She laughed bitterly. “I thought you were asleep, and I kept shaking and shaking your body...”

Lauren cried a bit more as she remembered trying to wake me up. “I can’t believe the last thing you were doing was playing Dragon Age.” She laughed again, but still sarcastically. “I should write to Bioware and tell them what that Solas romance does to people. That it literally kills.” She sobbed much louder now, and I wished I could tell her I was here, that I wasn’t dead, and I could hear her words. But my body refused.

“I hope you’re happy, at least,” she choked out. “I hope you’re in some nice place, like an angel in heaven or something. Doing all the weird stuff you like to do.” She laughed a little, but then it broke into another sob.

But I was here now, and she just didn’t know. Lauren. She was the only one I ever told about that Solas romance. I wondered what she’d think if she learned what had happened to me over the last few months. That I had actually gotten to romance him, for real.

Lauren took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “It’s crazy, you know?” she said. “At first, everybody was asking me about you when they heard. Saying they were sorry, and if they could do anything, stuff like that. But now that it’s been so long... it’s like everyone forgot. Like you’re just old news.”

That hurt to hear, but then again, could I really blame them? How could I expect everyone to mourn me forever? They needed to get on with their lives. I’d probably do the same.

And it wasn’t like I had that many close friends, anyway. Lauren was probably my only real friend, and most of that came from just living together.

Lauren sighed. “I’ll be graduating soon. Our last semester is almost over. It’s tough without you, but at least classes keep me busy. It’s easier to forget...” A little sob escaped her. “I don’t think I can visit anymore, Anna.” She started crying a lot more. “It’s just too hard...”

And I heard her run out the door.

* * *

Eventually, I stopped getting visitors entirely. Lauren had been the only friend to visit me, and she had stopped weeks ago. All I had were my parents, but they didn’t even talk to me anymore, and it had been at least two weeks since they last came by.

So even my parents had given up, although I couldn’t blame them. The last time my mother came in, she only sobbed and left. It was too hard for her. They still kept me on life support, but they were really just holding onto something they knew they shouldn’t.

I was gone, a lost cause.

The only thing that kept me (relatively) sane were my daily dreams. They were my escape from the hell of blackness, lying in that hospital bed without the ability to move. When conscious, I felt dead, but when I dreamed, I was still alive, still myself.

I dreamed of all sorts of things. Moments from my world and from Thedas. They would usually be simple activities, like walking through a park, or maybe driving a car. I was surprised how well I would remember these dreams, but maybe with finding only darkness upon waking, there was nothing there to make me forget.

I always woke up happy, too, like I was finally fully alive again, but then reality would overcome me, the blackness taking hold. It was beyond depressing. Like a cruel purgatory that would only torture me forever, never giving me respite.

Sometimes I would dream of Solas, but that would only make it worse, a brutal reminder of what I lost. He would always be far away, out of reach with his back to me, and I would shout at him, begging him to only turn around, just for a moment. I never saw his face.

He was lost to me forever. I would never be able to see, touch, or even hear him again. But he was probably dead, anyway, so there really was no point in longing for someone gone. I wondered if I had done as he asked, if I’d escaped through the eluvian back to Skyhold, would I have simply lived in Thedas forever? I might not have been happy, not if Solas wasn’t there, but it would have been better than this. I’d still be alive. I could be hanging out with the Inner Circle right now, maybe even getting a job or something.

I should have listened to him... Now I had nothing.

Sometimes the nurses and other hospital employees would chat to each other, which was a nice distraction when I was too awake to fall asleep again. They would discuss their lives, some patient that had aggravated them, or occasionally they would say pitying things about me. “This poor girl,” one nurse had said. “She was so young…”

I am still young, I mentally corrected her. I’m still alive, woman!! But she couldn’t hear me. No one could.

As the weeks slowly passed by, and I had absolutely nothing to do, I tried my best to lucid dream. I would think of a memory as hard as I could, repeating it over and over in my head, and then try to fall asleep with that imagery still in my mind. Sometimes it would work, and I would dream of it, but I never had control while in it, like I had in the Fade with Solas.

I didn’t give up though, as it was the only way I could actually live now. What other choice did I have?

And eventually, I was able to dream of Solas. Properly, like he was there, and we were both happy again. Once, I had a dream where we were playing cards, but then a nurse came in and told me it was time for my tea, so Solas said with a smile, “We’ll continue this later.” And then I woke up.

I had another dream where Solas and I were climbing a mountain, and it was scary, and the rocks cut my fingers, and I shouted at Solas, “I can’t hold on any longer!” and he tried to reach me, to save me, but I fell off anyway. I woke as I was falling. That one really sucked.

I still couldn’t dictate what would happen, or often what was in the dream at all, but I could at least dream of Solas, and it almost felt like it was enough. I would think about him so much that my dreams would answer, and that was all I had. My whole existence, reduced to dreams.

It felt like the world had given up on me. I was some old statue, collecting dust and moss and decaying away, just waiting for someone to move me or bulldoze me over.

And in those long weeks, or maybe months, I wasn’t even sure anymore, I wanted my parents to pull the plug. I wanted them to let me go, so I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, so I could be free. I wanted to die.

Chapter Text

“Can I help you paint, hahren?” I asked Solas, who was standing on the scaffolding, painting the Temple of Mythal on the rotunda wall.

“No,” he said coldly, not even turning around. “You would only be an impediment.” He kept his eyes fixed on his work.

I crossed my arms, indignant. “How do you know? You’ve never even seen me paint!” I shouted up at him.

He looked down at me, eyebrow raised in the air, the hint of a smile on his mouth. “But I have seen you eat, tie knots, gather roots... It is enough to discern your lack of the required dexterity,” he smirked.

“Please, Solas,” I begged. “I’m so bored!”

Solas exhaled heavily. He folded his arms across his chest, considering me. “Very well, but listen to exactly what I say, da’len,” he said after a few moments, defeated.

I cheerfully climbed up the ladder, sitting down on my knees beside him. “Okay,” I said, an excited smile on my face. “What first?”

He handed me a spare paintbrush. “You may fill in this shape with black.” He gestured to a large triangle on the wall.

I nodded. “Yes, sir!” I said with a little salute. I began painting the triangle, carefully filling it in with slow strokes, and he turned back to his (much more complicated) portion.

As I brushed the plaster onto the wall, I noticed how the paint didn’t smell at all. Doesn’t it usually smell?

I turned to Solas, watching him paint. Something didn’t feel right... He looked real, like he was actually there. I was in Skyhold again? But how could I be? I was back in my world now... in a coma. Pretty much dead.

I’m dreaming. This was only a memory I had. It wasn’t real at all. And it never could be. Some tears began to fall down my face at the discovery, and I set down the paintbrush to wipe them away. “Oh, Solas,” I said quietly, closing my eyes from the tears. “I miss you so much.”

His paintbrush dropped. “Anna?!” he asked, his voice sounding shocked. Suddenly his arms were around me, and he was holding me tight, kissing my hair. “Is it really you?” he whispered.

I opened my eyes, blinking away some of the tears. “What do you mean?” I asked him, surprised. This wasn’t how Solas would have reacted in this memory...

He broke apart from me to gaze into my eyes, his hands touching my face. “I watched you die,” he said, eyes watery, but his tone soon turned vicious, “Falon’Din murdered you right in front of me, and I would have killed him if Elgar’nan had not stopped me.”

“What?!” I said, the realization hitting me. This was Solas. He was telling me what happened at the eluvian. What had happened to me, all those many weeks ago, before my whole world went black.

“You died instantly,” he whispered, and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I scoured the Fade for your spirit, for only even a remnant, but no trace could be found.” He hugged me again, whispering soft things in Elvish.

“They-they didn’t kill you?” I asked, still astonished.

“No,” he said into my hair. “Mythal spoke to Elgar’nan. She told him I was to be spared, that I would help the People and rebuild Elvhenan.” He released me to kiss my forehead. “Where did you go, Anna?” he asked, blue eyes searching mine.

“I’m... home,” I said. “In my world. But Solas, I’m in a coma, I can’t wake up! Everything is completely black, and I can only lie there, without moving or seeing... It’s like I’m sleeping, but I’m actually awake, and it’s horrible,” I cried.

“You cannot even move?!” Solas asked. His brow furrowed worriedly as his hand caressed my cheek. “Are you sure it is your realm?”

I nodded. “Yes. I can still hear around me, like people talking, and I’m definitely back, but... it’s like I’m dead.” I began to cry, and he held me tighter. “I can’t do anything, Solas,” I whimpered into his tunic. “It’s worse than death.”

“Vhenan,” Solas said, rubbing my back. “That is... terrible, and far worse than I had hoped.” He pulled away to look at me again. “Is there no way to revive you? Return your sight or mobility?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I think I’m just going to be like that until I die...” I sobbed some more. “I’ve missed you so much. I always think about you, wondering what happened.” I reached up and touched his face, the face I held so dear. His sharp chin, cheekbones, eyes... “What are you doing now?” I asked, wiping away some of his tears.

“I am leaving Thedas,” he explained, sniffling. “Traveling the ocean to find a new home for the People, while the Evanuris unite what remain of them.”

“Oh,” I said, my voice breaking and a few more tears falling down my cheek. Continuing his duty, as he always did...

“I dream of you every night,” Solas said softly. “But they are only my memories... How I’ve missed you so, vhenan.” He pulled me towards him and kissed me, gently on the lips. “Anna,” he said. “We must bring you back, so you may leave such an awful place.”

“I don’t know how to get back to Thedas,” I told him, crying more. “I don’t even know how I got here right now.”

“This is similar to when we first met,” Solas wondered, stroking my arm. “How did you reach Skyhold then?” he asked. His voice was tender and soothing, and it helped calm me.

My brow knotted as I tried to remember. “I think... you ended the dream, and I just woke up in Skyhold? I’m not really sure.”

He nodded, petting my cheek. “Perhaps this moment is a chance meeting of dreams, connecting us both between realms,” he reasoned.

I swallowed. “Then do you think once I wake up, I’ll be in Thedas again?” I eagerly asked.

Solas smiled, still caressing my face. “I can only hope.”

“Then wake me up! We can be together again!” I exclaimed passionately, sitting up a little.

“Wait, vhenan,” he said gently. “The outcome is uncertain. This could be our last time ever seeing each other.”

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “Then what should we do?”

He paused for a moment, contemplating. “If we are able to dream the same again, then perhaps we will see each other in the future, even if you are unable to return to Thedas.” He looked me lovingly in the eye. “I will dream this same memory every night, if you are able to do the same.”

I shook my head. “I can’t… I can’t control my dreams like you can,” I told him hopelessly. “What if I’m unable to?”

“I know.” He rubbed my cheek with his thumb. “But all we can do is try, Anna.”

“Okay,” I agreed, nodding. A thought struck me. “What if I wake up in Skyhold again? How will I find you?”

“Then I will come for you there,” he said. “You can tell me your location in the Fade.”

I nodded again. “Yes. Okay,” I said quietly. He brought my face to his again and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me.

Solas broke away and whispered into my cheek, “I love you.”

“Ar lath ma,” I said, my hands gripping his back. I planted small kisses along his cheek down to his neck, not wanting a second without him to go by.

He pulled away, a smile on his lips and his eyes shining. “I truly thought I would never see you again.”

I nodded. “Me too... I thought you were dead, and I’ve just wanted to die ever since we were separated.”

Solas drew me close, holding me firmly in his arms. “Don’t say that, vhenan,” he murmured.

“Every day has felt like torture,” I said into the fabric of his shirt. “I have nothing.”

“You have me, my love,” he soothed. “I will bring you back.”

“I’m so scared,” I cried quietly. “But... I’m glad I got to see you, at least one last time. And now I know what happened to you.” I took some deep breaths, and his hand caressed my back.

I lifted my head to examine the rotunda around him. I knew it wasn’t really Skyhold, but it was still nice to be here again. I felt like I was home.

“Why did you choose this memory?” I asked curiously.

Solas smiled, glancing at the mural on the wall. “It was at this moment that I realized how much I cared for you,” he said softly.

His words made me smile, but then I noticed the rotunda was starting to fade to blackness behind him. I quickly looked back at him, a panic overcoming me. “Solas, I think I’m waking up!” I said, terrified. My eyes flew all over his face, trying to take in every last detail while I could.

The last image I saw was of his calm face, full of warmth and hope, saying to me, “I will see you again, Anna.”

I awoke instantly the moment Anna disappeared from the Fade, a deep sense of loss washing over me. It had been months since I saw her die, her body becoming limp before dissipating into the air from Falon’Din’s barbaric magic. I would have killed him without thought had Elgar’nan not grabbed me, his eyes ghosting with Mythal’s. I would surely be dead without her.

I was in Antiva now, making my way to the coast. I was given the task of sailing the ocean, to find a new homeland for Elvhenan.

I closed my eyes and willed myself back to sleep.

Once I opened them, I shaped the Fade to the same memory again. I simply watched Anna and myself this time as a bystander, looking up at them from the ground below. As long as I was present, I could find her.

All this time, Anna had been trapped in a prison of her own body? It pained me to think of how she had been suffering, alone and frightened, merely waiting for her own death. Anna. I must save her.

I observed the two of us painting side by side in my dream, a memory that seemed so long ago. How thoroughly my world had since changed.

We painted in silence, sitting atop the scaffolding. I watched as Anna slowly stopped and turned her body, moving her brush toward me like an assassin. I was so focused on my work that I did not notice her approach.

She did it quickly. One large streak across my cheekbone. I turned sharply towards her, my expression vehement. I lurched towards her and with a flick of my wrist, half her delicate face was covered in yellow plaster.

“Gah, Solas!” she exclaimed, touching her face reflexively. “It got in my mouth!”

I laughed lightly, setting down my brush. I lifted an arm towards her face and waved my hand, clearing the paint away with a spell. She touched her face again and smiled brightly. “Thanks,” she said.

I could not help but return her smile. I love her.

Somehow, this strange being from another realm had come into my life, knew my dark secrets, and loved me regardless. The only one to accept me when every other did not. The only one to still speak with me, remain beside me, even when I was difficult, when I was completely unworthy of such kind treatment. How did such a generous and loving spirit come to find me? How was I so fortuitous?

Watching this familiar exchange above me, I sat down on the floor of my dream and waited.

She will return again.

Chapter Text

My head...

Everything was aching, hurting. My back felt sore, and my head pounded, like I had just hit it on something hard.

I flexed my muscles to ease the discomfort—Wait. I can move!

I opened my eyes, and the world was so bright, I had to squint until they adjusted. I was lying on my back on firm ground, looking up at the sky. It was gray and cloudy, and the air felt brisk against my skin.

Am I dreaming?

The world felt real, though, and as I took a few deep breaths, the cold air chilled my insides. My senses were taking in everything now; the light scent of pine, the touch of grass beneath my fingers. This was not a dream. This was really happening.

I’m alive. This was real.

“Holy shit,” came a raspy voice.

I turned towards the noise to see familiar surroundings. Stone walls, trees, little tents... I recognized this place. Skyhold.

A man walked into my view and was now bending over me. “Is that you, Sleepy?” Varric said, eyebrows raised and mouth open in shock. “You’re alive?!”

Varric is talking to me, I thought, awestruck. I’m back in Skyhold again, and Varric is talking to me.

He bent to his knees and carefully placed a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned at my silence and dazed expression. “You just... fell out of the sky!”

I sat up, holding my head and tentatively flexing my muscles again. Am I really back?

“Anna?” Varric asked again as I had yet to respond.

“I’m... alive,” I said, bewildered by the sound of my own voice. I gazed at Varric then, blinking at him for a few seconds before shouting ecstatically, “Varric, I’m alive!!!” I jumped up and threw my arms around the dwarf. “I’m aliiiiive!”

“What happened to you?” Varric asked confusedly. “Were you dead?”

“Yes...” I answered, still a bit disoriented. I freed him from my embrace. “I died... and then I was in some terrible place where I couldn’t see anything or move, and I would only feel pain.” The explanation spilled out of my mouth before I even thought about it.

How could any of that have happened? Tears pricked my eyes from recalling the memory of my coma. Did Solas bring me back?

Varric raised both brows and his mouth fell open, horrified by my description. “Are you okay?”

Am I okay? I wiped away some tears. Am I ever! “Yes!” I said, laughing a little. “I’m free!!”

“That sounds... Well, shit, Sleepy. That sounds awful.” Varric put a hand on my arm, giving me a comforting squeeze. The dwarf seemed at a loss for words.

I smiled. “It was awful, but it’s over now and...” I sniffed a bit. “I’m just so happy to be alive,” I whimpered. I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head and sobbing.

Varric looked a little teary too as he returned my smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re back,” he said warmly. “But are you really sure that’s what happened? I’ve never heard of someone just... reincarnating like that.”

I gave the slightest of nods. “Yes, Varric, it happened. It had to have happened because it felt like months. Like I was trapped there for months...” I had to close my eyes as fresh tears came. It was so horrible.

Varric tried to comfort me by gently rubbing my arm. “Well, if you say it happened, then I believe you.”

I took my hands away from my face and tried my best to smile at him. “I can’t believe I’m back,” I replied.

Varric smiled. “Yeah,” he said, then chuckled. “And you somehow fell from the sky again, just like when you first came to Skyhold... and still asleep when you landed!” He shook his head, as if disbelieving his own words. “I had always figured that would be a one-time deal.”

The dwarf met my gaze, and looked almost troubled as he asked me, “Are you always going to do that when you... die?”

I glanced around the fortress, smiling as I wiped my eyes. “I don’t know,” I said, turning back to Varric. “But I hope it never happens again. It was so terrible...” Another sob escaped me, and Varric comfortingly squeezed my arm once more.

“Why don’t I take you somewhere to rest? This all must be very tiring for you,” he suggested.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve been resting for way too long. I want to live.” I smiled. “I want to see everyone else!” I exclaimed.

Varric grinned. “Okay, Sleepy, whatever you want,” he said, but then frowned. “Although, I should tell you...”

“What?” I said, panicked. Did the Inquisition have a new foe? Some unknown enemy come to destroy the world (again)?!

“Solas... is also missing,” he told me carefully. “You two were close.”

“Oh.” I nodded, unsure of how to respond. Would Solas want me to keep quiet? I decided to say nothing more, and instead stared at the ground.

“I’m not sure if you knew, but... Well, the Inquisitor told us that Solas—well, he knew he was going to...” Varric trailed off.

“Die?” I offered, finishing his statement for him. I looked at the dwarf and gave him a thin smile. “I know. He told me, too, so that’s what I expected.”

Varric nodded grimly. “It was pretty shocking when she told us.”

I tried to imagine what the Inquisition would think about Solas dying. Did they mourn him? Hold a special ceremony in his honor? What would they do if they found out he was actually alive?

The two of us roamed around Skyhold so that I could finally see everyone again. We were silent at first, but eventually the storyteller began to update me on the what’s-what. “A lot has changed around here,” Varric explained. He told me the state of the Inquisition, which was basically all that epilogue stuff in the game. Yeah, whatever.

“How’s the Inquisitor?” I asked. What will she think of me being back?

He smiled. “She’s doing great.” He leaned towards me. “She’s with Curly now, you know.”

“Seriously?” I asked, wondering when it happened. “Well, good for her.” She really did move on...

He smiled. “Everyone is gonna be surprised to see you, Sleepy.”

I clapped him on the shoulder, feeling more excited by the minute. “I can’t wait!” I sang.

We first walked to the tavern, just as a certain Qunari was popping his horned head out. “Hey Tiny, look who it is!” Varric shouted at him.

Iron Bull froze, taking me in from head to toe. He laughed. “Anna?!” he said, and he gave me a huge hug that literally lifted me off the ground. “I can’t believe it. Dorian is gonna lose his shit when he finds out you’re alive.” He set me down, patting me on the back. “What happened to you, anyway, kid?”

“She died,” Varric explained for me.

Bull narrowed his eye in confusion. “Wait... is she now just some spirit... thing?” He took a small step away from me.

“Honestly, I’m not that sure...” Varric eyed me. “But she said she died, and went to some really bad place, and then suddenly landed here from the sky again. Alive.” He shook his head. “I know it sounds unbelievable, but she seems like Anna, and... I believe her.”

I nodded along with Varric’s explanation, happy that at least he believed me. My story did sound impossible, but it was the truth, so what else could I say?

“I am me,” I decided to tell them. “I know I died, but somehow, I’m alive again. And I don’t want to think about why.” But it has to be Solas. Our strange dream-connection that brought me from one realm to the next...

“But, kid, people don’t just die and come back to life, unless there’s a powerful magic involved...” Bull reasoned warily.

“I know,” I said quietly, staring down at the ground. My eyes were tearing up again, but this time from the fear of what they were thinking. What will they do to me to find out what happened?

“Well, let’s just leave it alone for now,” Varric said, putting a hand on my arm. “She’s been through a lot, and we can work it out later,” he suggested.

Bull nodded, although he seemed quite hesitant now. “I’ll let Dorian know,” he said as he turned to leave.

“Tell him to meet us in the grand hall!” Varric called after him. He looked up at me. “Are you hungry, Sleepy? Why don’t we reintroduce you to everyone over a nice meal?”

I nodded with a small smile. “Sounds good to me.”

Both of us headed to the hall, and word got around that I was back. As we sat down at one of the tables, companions flooded in left and right, all shocked by my sudden appearance.

Varric was kind enough to tell my story for me, as it was difficult to constantly repeat my “I died” spiel. I felt so happy though, and I would continuously cry, the emotion of returning home overwhelming me. I was back, I was alive, I could move... I was home.

All the companions gave me hugs with astonished expressions. At Varric’s request, they kept quiet about my strange rebirth, but I could tell the questions were bubbling up inside them.

We ate together as if it were an average day, though, and they told me updates about their lives. I was starting to feel normal again, like none of that horrific stuff had happened to me, like I hadn’t been trapped in my own body for what felt like an eternity.

Sera was regaling me with some new pranks she had pulled on Blackwall, and I laughed when the burly warrior rolled his eyes at her description of the antics. I’m really here. I was back in Thedas with the Inquisition, where I belonged.

As I sat there, grinning dumbly from my absolute glee at being in Skyhold again, a hand touched my shoulder that made me jump.

“You really have returned,” Lavellan said, smiling down at me from her standing position. She sat down in a seat beside me. “It’s good to see you again, Anna.” Uh, was it?

“Annie actually died, can you believe that, Inky?” Sera said loudly. “It’s pretty creepy though...” she added quietly, averting her eyes downward.

Lavellan quirked an eyebrow and tilted her head curiously. “How is that possible?” she asked me.

My gut twisted with nerves, now that I was under the Inquisitor’s... well, inquiry. Clearly, my return was because of Solas. My dream with him had brought me back, but that was so unusual, no one would believe me if I said it... right? How could I logically explain this impossible situation? The panic made my heart race, and I pictured them turning against me in fear, thinking I was a demon or something.

“You’re not a demon,” Cole said suddenly, appearing on the other side of the table. He looked at Lavellan with his usual glazed expression. “Her love brought her back...” Cole explained(??) to her.

My eyes widened at his telepathic outburst. Shiiiiiit...

Unfazed by my worry, Cole continued to speak to Lavellan, who was listening with rapt attention. “He was looking, longing, lamenting... but it was in dreams he found her.”

“Who?” the Inquisitor asked, intrigued by the spirit’s words.

“Solas,” he breathed, and a hush fell over the table at the mention of his name.

Lavellan shook her head, white hair swishing around her face. “No, Cole, he’s...” She eyed me with concern, not wanting to say it aloud.

“He’s still alive,” Cole said. “He brought her back, through worlds and wonders... until she woke here again.”

“Solas is alive?” Lavellan whispered. Her eyes were shining as much as her lips when she turned to me again. “And he brought you back to life?” She was awed.

I shrugged anxiously. It’s all out in the open now, anyway. “I’m not sure, but... I did have a dream about him, after I had died,” I explained, still nervous. “I know that doesn’t make sense, but when I died, I woke up in some other place, where I was still conscious, but trapped.” I glanced around the table, and everybody was silent and staring at me. “And... I had a dream with Solas in it, and then I woke up here.”

The companions were quiet for a few moments, waiting for me to say more. “Well, shit, Sleepy,” Varric said in disbelief. “Chuckles is alive, and he brought you back to life, too?”

“That’s some crazy shit, kid,” Bull rumbled.

“Baldy can bring people back from the dead?” Sera said in horror. She turned to Dorian, who was seated a few chairs away. “Thought that was your deal, Dorian,” she said to him.

Dorian’s mouth was hanging agape when he shook his head. “I have never seen necromancy that causes people to fall from the sky, reincarnated...” He stared at me, baffled.

“She’s different,” Cole said. “She comes from elsewhere... But it was him... he brought her here, and he brought her back again.” He turned his gaze to mine. “Their spirits are connected.”

Our spirits are connected?? Was that why I had landed in Skyhold in the first place, all that time ago?

“Their spirits are connected?” Lavellan repeated. She looked at me with a furrowed brow, completely bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell us this before, Cole?” she asked the spirit.

“You didn’t want to be told,” he answered cryptically. Psh, how convenient.

“Do you think Solas will return to the Inquisition?” she wondered.

“He goes where she goes,” Cole said quietly. The companions all turned to me, eyebrows raised.

Iron Bull spoke before anyone else. “Yeah,” he said in his deep voice, “I think that’s a safe bet.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe he’s still alive,” Lavellan murmured, staring off into the distance.

I didn’t know what to say. Had she only been over him because she thought he was dead? Did she want him back now?

Lavellan looked downwards towards a plate of food she had yet to touch. I peeked at her through my peripheral. Her face was still bare of vallaslin, a constant reminder of his leaving.

“I’m happy for you,” she said softly after a few moments. Lavellan turned her gaze to me, a small smile on her mouth. “I hope he does come back...” She picked up a fork and tentatively moved the food around her plate. “... for you,” she added.

I glanced back at my own meal and shoveled some vegetables into my mouth. Awkward. This was really awkward.

“I should probably be thanking you, Anna,” Lavellan said, commanding my attention again.

My eyes shifted nervously to her. “Thank me? For what?” I asked apprehensively. I could not imagine her thanking me for anything. Only punishing. Fighting. Punches and slaps? Yeah, that sounded more appropriate.

Lavellan took another drink of wine, and, staring absent-mindedly into the distance, she said, “For breaking me and Solas up.”

“What?!” I exclaimed, my eyes widening in horror. “No, I had nothing to do with that! I mean, I told him to get back together with you,” I rambled, trying to explain my good intentions.

She shook her head. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Anna. I’ve already known for a while. I mean, he even said he loved you.”

“What?” I asked, my mouth stupidly hanging open. He said WHAT?!

Lavellan shrugged, pushing some carrots around the plate with her fork. “He tried to say you were just a friend, but it was obvious. And it’s always been obvious. The way you two acted together...” she trailed off suggestively.

“I swear to you, I was not the reason,” I argued.

She turned her teal gaze on me again. “So I was the problem then?” she asked.

Shit. I found myself at a loss for words, and feeling a little guilty. It wasn’t Lavellan’s fault—it was Solas’s true identity and his mission, and... it just hadn’t worked out. But I couldn’t speak for Solas, so what could I say?

She laughed after a few moments of my speechlessness. “Relax, Anna, I’m just messing with you.” She smiled at me. “Whatever the reason was, I’m glad it happened.”

I was surprised to find no disdain in her eyes. “You are?” I asked, taken aback.

“Yes,” she began, angling her head gently. “I was so caught up in getting his approval, in trying to make him love me... I never saw what was right in front of me, what was real.” She gazed lovingly at Cullen, who was seated at another table. “I never would have had him, someone who truly loves me, who is honest and tells me everything, good or bad.” She looked at me again, still smiling. “Someone I can really share my life with.”

Her confession hurt my heart to hear. It was unfair how Solas had treated her, although I could hardly blame him for guarding his secrets. But she was content now, and in love, it seemed, so it was truly better than I’d hoped.

“I’m happy you and Cullen found each other,” I said, trying my best to smile.

She returned a smile, and we both continued to eat. As I sat there, eating some meat off my plate, I heard some of the companions whispering about Solas being alive, glancing over at me occasionally.

What would Solas say to answer their questions? I wish he was here. When would I see him again?

And... when did he tell Lavellan he loved me?? Was it before he even told me? Lavellan’s words shocked me. Why would he tell her?

I had so many questions for that hobo, but no idea when I would be able to ask him. I would need to dream of painting in the rotunda again to meet him, but I had absolutely no confidence in my ability to do that.

“I can help,” Cole said from a few seats away, where he must have been mind-eavesdropping. “Help you find him in the Fade. It’s easier for me.”

I nodded from across the table. “Thanks, Cole,” I said quietly (trying not to draw attention).

“I do hope you find Solas soon,” Dorian said, obviously having heard the exchange. “Because we all have questions for him.”

I averted my eyes to my meal, not wanting to acknowledge his comment. This is really bad. Too many questions around Solas would only show the many vague holes in his apostate story.

I hoped he would have a plan. Because I sure didn’t.

* * *

“So, if I go to sleep, will you just come into my dreams or something?” I asked Cole.

The both of us stood in Solas’s study, surrounded by his many paintings. I noticed he never even started the final one. There was no image of a wolf standing over a fallen dragon. Had I prevented him somehow?

“Yes,” Cole replied. “I can find you, find him. Direct your dreams.”

“We said we would meet in a specific memory, Cole,” I explained. “Of us painting in this room together.”

Cole nodded, his big hat flopping. “He knows. He will dream of it tonight. He hopes to hold you again.”

“How do you know all this stuff, Cole?” I asked curiously. “How can you hear him from so far away?”

The spirit gave me his usual glassy-eyed look. “I hear his hurt through you.”

“Through me?” I asked, lifting a pointed finger to my chest.

Cole turned his head suddenly as if he heard a noise. “He’s asleep now. I can find him.”

“Oh shit, already??” Geez, that old man sleeps early. “Okay, let me get to sleep then.”

I laid myself down on the sofa then, trying to get comfortable. It’d been so long since I was last on this thing, and it was extremely dusty, having had no wolf here to clean it for months. I tried to relax, rolling to my side, but the excitement from seeing him again was too overwhelming.

Cole stood nearby, waiting, and that certainly didn’t help. In fact, it was kind of creepy and pressuring, making it even harder to fall asleep.

“I can leave until you dream,” Cole said. “If that’s easier.” He disappeared before I could answer.

As I lay there, I thought about the details of the memory, thinking of as many as possible. There were butterflies in my stomach at the idea of seeing him, and I couldn’t stop grinning.

Would he smile and kiss me? Hug me? What would he say? I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again. Gah. I had to sleep.

Eventually, I did. It took a while, at least an hour, but I finally drifted off into the Fade-land.

* * *

“Pass the salt, Anna,” my father asked. My parents and I were sitting at their dining room table, eating a meal. I handed the salt shaker to him and continued eating.

“So, how’s college?” my mother asked.

I shrugged. “Fine.”

“Do you like your classes?” my dad asked.

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

My parents both looked at each other, annoyance clearly on their features. They turned to me, brows furrowed and mouths open, ready to scold like there was no tomorrow.

“He’s here. He heard you. You didn’t need my help,” another voice said.

“Vhenan,” he breathed.

I blinked a few times. Where am I? A dream. This was a dream.

I turned my gaze from my parents to two figures standing a few feet away. It was Solas and Cole, just to my left and looking exactly as they always did.

“Solas,” I said, a smile spreading on my face. I hopped up from my seat to meet him. Just a few steps and I was there, our arms encircling one another.

“I immediately sensed your presence in the Fade,” he whispered into my ear, his arms still surrounding me. “You really have returned.”

“I came to help, but she didn’t need me,” Cole said.

Solas released me to look towards the spirit. “Thank you, Cole. It is good to see you again.”

“Your hurt is much quieter now.” Cole stared at the two of us. “I will help others now.”

“Wait!” I exclaimed, stopping him. “I wanted to ask you... what did you mean when you said ‘our spirits are connected’?”

“Your songs sing the same. They synchronize, support, shape to each other... I haven’t seen it before... not like this, not like you,” he remarked.

“Are you referring to Anna’s spirit?” Solas asked with a raised brow.

“Yes,” Cole answered. “And yours.”

Solas inclined his head in intrigue. “We are connected?”

“Neither of you know, yet you act like you know, but you don’t, and that makes it more,” the spirit said.

“What do you mean? Makes what more?” I asked.

Cole glanced between us before replying, “Twin souls. Two spirits, one heart, together whole.”

“Are you certain?” Solas asked the spirit, who nodded in response. A shock spread across the elf’s face, his expression turning to awe as he gazed at me.

I hummed. “Twin souls…” I repeated. What did that mean? Like soulmates?

“I never thought it possible,” Solas said. “For my soul to have such a tie…” He smiled at me, his eyes shining. “I thought I would be forever alone.”

I smiled back, feeling my cheeks warm a little. “But... how can this be possible? How can we be connected when we come from different realms?”

“Spirits aren’t bound to worlds, not like people,” Cole explained. “Crossing and climbing through curtains... No concerns, no confines.”

“Even through separate realms...” Solas remarked, meeting my gaze again.

Cole gave a small nod. “Spirits born together, but then hers left.” He smiled beneath his big floppy hat. “It’s righted now. Reunited and returned.”

“Born together?” Solas raised both his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting that Anna’s spirit originated from this world, Cole?”

“Yes, but she wandered away,” he replied.

“Really?” I asked. “I’m supposed to be in Thedas?!”

I had always dreamed of being elsewhere, though… Perhaps it was because I never belonged there in the first place. Was this truly an alternate universe then? One that my world happened to have games based on? Weird.

I looked at Solas again, taking his hands in mine. I was meant to be here, with him. He was my home, my center. “I can’t wait to be together again,” I said, pulling him closer.

“You are in Skyhold, I presume?” Solas asked me.

“Yes,” I answered, nodding.

He smiled warmly, placing a hand on my cheek. “I will come for you as soon as I can, Anna.”

I hugged him, barely able to contain my excitement. But then I noticed how the dining room around us was melting away. I turned my gaze back to Solas. “When will you get here?” I quickly asked.

“A few days, vhenan.” He raised my chin to kiss me, but I woke up before I was even able to feel it.

Chapter Text

In the next couple of days, I easily fell back into Skyhold life. It felt wonderful to be in the fortress again, even if they still didn’t have flushing toilets.

I started sleeping in Solas’s old room instead of my own. He had left most of his belongings there, mainly books and various notes on his research. Surrounding myself with his things comforted me, and his mural of Arlathan still remained on the wall. I would fall asleep staring at it, wondering if there would ever be another city in the clouds.

Solas visited me in the Fade every night, and I told him about the Inquisition expecting his return. I needed to warn him of their suspicions regarding his disappearance, so he could prepare a story. He had little concern, however, and assured me not to worry. I still felt uneasy though, now that I didn’t know the future. Who knew how they would react to his excuses? Thedosians could be so… distrustful.

It was mindblowing to think that I could have been born in Thedas, living like a local. I wondered if I was meant to be an elf. Maybe I could have been born in the time of Elvhenan, and would have helped Solas with his rebellion. Or maybe I would have been raised in a Dalish clan like Lavellan, brought up to believe Fen’Harel was evil.

… Or maybe I would have still been human, killed by a demon that sprung out of a rift. Hmmm.

All my answers had finally come to fruition. I was in Thedas permanently, and the what-ifs were gone. But it was upsetting to think I would never return to the other world, never see my parents or my friends again… I thought they would be happy to know I could live here, at least, with the person I loved. The place I was meant to be.

I walked up the steps of the rotunda tower, seeking out a certain Tevinter. Once I reached the top, I was surprised to find Dorian and Iron Bull there together, sitting on some chairs in that little nook. They were in quiet discussion, with books lying open on their laps.

“Hey,” I greeted. “What are you guys up to?”

“Oh, hello, Anna,” Dorian acknowledged. “Bull and I were debating the likeness of me becoming an agent of the Ben-Hassrath. If I were raised in Par Vollen, that is.”

I laughed. “You? A spy?” I sat on the floor near the pair, since there were no other seats available. I pictured Dorian in a skin-tight black jumpsuit, gun in hand, like I had seen in action movies. “I don’t think the world could handle it.”

“Oh, yes,” Dorian said, smiling and relaxing back into his chair. “With my charms, all of Thedas would be helpless against me.”

“But to become a Ben-Hassrath, one must actually pay attention to other people, kadan,” Bull said.

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, Bull. Any enemy would be so enchanted, I would only need to smile and he would spill all his secrets.”

I laughed. “His suaveness would get them every time!”

Iron Bull smiled, shaking his head a bit. “What did you come here for, anyway, kid?” he asked me.

“Well...” I replied, somewhat hesitantly. “I wanted to talk to Dorian about something... but I may as well talk to you both.”

Dorian perked an eyebrow. “What is it, Anna?”

I hummed, trying to find the right words. “Do you ever plan on returning home?” I asked. The men looked at each other briefly, brows raised, before turning their gazes on me again.

“Eventually, yes,” Dorian answered, angling his head to the side as if uncertain. “But not for a while,” he added thoughtfully.

I nodded, pressing my lips together in contemplation.

“I can’t return to Par Vollen as a Tal-Vashoth,” Bull said flatly. “I’d be killed.” He shrugged as if it didn’t bother him in the least.

“Does that make you sad?” I asked him.

“It was always a risk as a Ben-Hassrath living abroad, so I had accepted the possibility a long time ago,” Bull explained. “There are people I miss, I guess... but I have Krem and the Chargers, and the Inquisition now, too.” He glanced at Dorian. “They’re family, and I would miss them more if I ever went back.”

Dorian smiled, reaching his hand over to give Bull’s a squeeze. He turned his attention back to me. “Why do you ask?”

I looked at the ground, picking up a random book that was near Dorian’s chair. “Well, I realized that I can never go back home... to where I was raised, that is.” I shrugged. “And… it makes me sad, you know? Never seeing it again.”

“Why can’t you go back?” Bull asked gently.

I didn’t feel like explaining that whole mess. “For various reasons,” I answered ambiguously, shrugging.

“It was difficult for me when I first left the Imperium. Southerners were a stark contrast to my countrymen... and many did not take kindly to a Tevinter mage,” Dorian confessed. “I learned to be cautious of everyone because of the prejudice. It wasn’t easy.” He paused a moment, twisting one of the sides of his mustache in his fingers. “But now that I’m with the Inquisition, and an international hero, mind you—Well, it’s certainly more comfortable.”

“Do you miss home, though?” I asked him.

“I miss certain Tevinter delicacies… and the acceptance of mages,” he replied, staring somewhere in the distance. “But I had few friends there, and the ones I did call friends were not even close to the relationships I’ve formed in the Inquisition.” He looked down at me again. “It was challenging to adjust, but once I passed the initial discomfort, I found myself quite happy here—happier than I ever was in the Imperium.”

I nodded, humming. “But… don’t you ever worry that you don’t really belong here? That you’re too much of an outsider to really fit in?”

“You think I want to fit in with Southerners? I prefer to keep some sense of decorum.” Dorian smiled. “I understand your meaning, though. And I do, at times, feel out of place, of course, but the friends I’ve made here… Well, they have accepted me, and that is what’s most important.”

“It’s always the people, kid,” Bull said. “People matter, not places. Where you come from will always be a part of you, but where you’ll go next, who you’ll meet—they’ll be a part of you, too.” He smiled. “You can choose who to belong to, no matter where you’re from.”

I smiled. “Thanks,” I said, my eyes stinging. “I’m glad I have you guys.”

“As are we,” Dorian said warmly.

“You all really have become like family to me,” I said a bit shyly. “I’m happy to be back in Skyhold again.”

“Good to hear,” Iron Bull replied. “This place was just too quiet without you.”

Just then, the Inquisitor came running up the stairs, her teal eyes bright with excitement. “Solas,” she panted. “He’s back.”

I stood immediately. “Where?!” I asked desperately.

“He was just spotted by the guardsmen at the gate!” Lavellan exclaimed. She covered her mouth, realizing how loud her voice had gotten. “Dorian,” she said in a giggling whisper, “he has hair.”

Dorian shot up as well. “I have to see this for myself.”

I didn’t waste a second, and was soon bounding down the tower steps as fast as I could. Lavellan and Dorian trailed behind after.

“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Iron Bull called after us, chuckling a little.

I kept hopping down the steps, cutting as many corners as I could to reach him. “You don’t have to run that fast, Anna!” Lavellan shouted, laughing at me as she and Dorian tried to keep up. Shut your mouth, Quizzy! SOLAS IS HERE!!

I flew past Varric, but was too fast to hear the comment he made. Nothing was going to slow me down. I’m finally going to see him again.

When I made it to the long stretch of bridge that expanded out the Skyhold gates, I paused. There he was, walking towards me. I beamed, barely able to contain my delight. I ran as quickly as I could, and with every footstep, his smile only became larger.

I crashed into him, throwing my arms around his torso, and he lifted me into the air. “Anna,” he said, holding me close. “Vhenan.”

I felt so overcome there were tears in my eyes. “Solas,” I gasped happily. I looked at him, laughing in disbelief. “Your hair!”

He actually had hair. It was auburn in color, only a couple of centimeters long, really, but it truly transformed his face. I touched a bit on his forehead. He’d still been bald in my dreams, so I was seeing it for the first time. Sneaky wolf.

Solas smiled, eyes sparkling. As I met his gaze again, my heart began to pound. I had missed him so much. I leaned in to kiss him, but some awkward coughing stopped me.

The both of us turned our heads to Dorian and Lavellan, who had finally caught up and were standing there, stiffly watching us. Solas set me down on the bridge again, but he didn’t entirely let me go, catching hold of my hand.

“Solas,” Lavellan greeted with a small smile, her lips shimmering brightly in the sunlight. “You’ve returned. You’re alive.”

He nodded. “Yes. I am,” Solas said. “It was… a miscalculation on my part.”

The Inquisitor hummed and folded her arms across her chest. “Were you ever going to let us know, or…?”

“I admit, my mind was preoccupied with finding Anna again after she disappeared,” he said. I squeezed his hand, and he smiled down at me.

“Well,” Dorian said, “I am sure you are exhausted from your travels, and perhaps have some… catching up to do with Anna.” The mage smiled at me, arching a suggestive eyebrow, and my cheeks burned with embarrassment.

“Yes, I would like to rest,” Solas said, ignoring Dorian’s last comment, “if there is a room you could spare.”

“Of course,” Lavellan said. “Feel free to use your old quarters.”

Solas nodded and we all headed back across the bridge to Skyhold.

“You certainly look different, Solas,” Dorian commented along the way. “Where did the unwashed hobo go?” He quirked an eyebrow, somewhat suspicious.

Solas chuckled. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t wearing his normal outfit. He was actually dressed kind of... nice. He still had his wolf pelt, and a tunic on, but it was spun from a much richer, deep green material. The seams were stitched with a gold thread that made little leaf patterns in his high-necked collar. Even his vest was fancier... What was this elf thinking??

“I have been traveling in Antiva,” he answered vaguely.

“Antiva?” Dorian clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Though I suppose anything is better than your previous look.”

We made it back to the courtyard in Skyhold and parted ways with Lavellan and Dorian. And literally the second they were gone, Solas rushed us to his room, Fade-Stepping to bring us there as quickly as possible.

Once we were alone, his calm demeanor completely fell away. All the emotion poured out of him at once. He crushed me against the door, pressing his lips to mine. My heart swelled at finally being able to touch him in person again, but the kiss soon became messy and wet from tears.

“Vhenan,” he whispered with red-rimmed eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I cried happily.

Solas embraced me, weeping, and I felt tears dampen my neck and hair. “How my spirit has missed yours,” he said. “I never thought I would be able to hold you again, my heart.”

“Me neither, vhenan,” I said.

“I was so certain I had lost you forever.” He wiped his eye. “I never wish to be separated again, if I can help it.”

I nodded, squeezing him in my arms. “Oh, Solas,” I said, blubbering. “Ar lath ma.”

“I love you,” he returned. “When you died… it was like a part of my soul had been ripped from me. I had surrendered myself to death, readied for the end, but lost you instead.” There were still tears in his eyes as he brought a palm to my cheek. “You didn’t do as I asked, Anna. You didn’t escape when I told you to.”

“I know…” I said. “And I’m sorry. I just couldn’t leave you—I couldn’t let you die without doing something, even if it was useless.”

“I probably would have done the same,” Solas said, pulling me closer. “You were right, in the end. The Evanuris spared me.” He rested his forehead against mine. “And your death did return you to your realm. ”

“It was awful, being back there.” I swallowed. “Not just being helpless like that… but the things I would hear. My family mourning me. Discussing whether they should continue to keep me alive.” I sobbed. “I felt like a ghost. Like I was being discarded.”

He clutched me tightly. “I am so sorry, vhenan.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back,” I whispered. “I think I’m in Thedas for good.”

“Will you be content here?”’

“I think so… With you.”

He held me to his chest. “Selfishly, I am happy to have you here.”

I buried my face into his tunic. “I’m so happy you’re here, Solas. I’m so happy you’re alive.” I lifted my chin to kiss him again. “How do you feel, since you survived?”

He swallowed. “It was hard at first. The Evanuris demanded so much of me… but all I wanted was to grieve you,” he said forlornly. “There were times I felt I could not go on.”

“Oh, Solas,” I said, tears escaping my eyes again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t leave when you asked.”

“It does not matter now. You have returned to me,” he whispered. Solas placed both palms on either side of my face, staring deeply into my eyes. “I never thought you could exist. That my spirit could have this connection.”

“I can’t believe it either. And I was meant to be here, too, all this time… I was supposed to be born in Thedas, but I left.”

He laughed a little. “Rebellious from the day you were born.” His thumb brushed across my cheek. “Ma nas’falon.”

“Is that the Elvish word for it?”

“Yes,” Solas said, resting his forehead on mine. “Twin soul.”

“Nas’falon,” I repeated, and smiled.

“I missed you, Anna,” he said. “I could not even smile when you were gone. Like all the joy had been stripped from me. The world felt empty. I had so much regret, vhenan. I wish I hadn’t denied you for so long.” He kissed me. “So much time wasted.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “We’re together now.”

“We are,” Solas said, pressing his mouth to mine again. We continued to kiss, our lips getting more passionate, fingers becoming feverish. It wasn’t long until we were tugging off our clothing. We were finally together again, and I never wanted to let him go.

Chapter Text

“So many times I lay in this bed, dreaming of you,” Solas said with a small smile, tenderly combing his fingers through my hair. We were tangled together, still in his room.

“Dirty dreams?” I teased, raising a brow and angling my face towards him. My head was lying on his chest, and we had our arms around each other.

He laughed. “I am not you, vhenan,” he said as his fingers ran along my jaw to grasp my chin accusingly.

I pinched his arm. “I’ve never had dirty dreams!” I protested. Solas only smiled suggestively and arched a brow.

“Wait... I mean, I haven’t, right?” I asked, propping myself up on an elbow to look at him seriously. I tried to remember any dreams I might have had with Solas, but the only ones I could think of were with him actually there.

Solas was smirking all over the place. “There are dreams I have seen that you do not recall,” he said, sounding far too pleased with himself.

“No, you’re lying…” Had I?! And if Solas had crept into them… How mortifying.

He chuckled, raising himself to kiss my forehead. “I was only teasing,” he whispered into my ear, and his breath prickled my skin.

“You’re mean, vhenan,” I scolded as I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I love you, you stupid wolf.”

“And I love you, Anna, my strange human,” he replied, tipping my chin so he could kiss me again.

We settled back into the bed, and I laid my head on his chest and sighed, happy as a clam. It was late now, and we would probably soon fall asleep, entering the world of spirits and dreams. “I wish I could control my dreams like you, doing whatever I wanted in the Fade,” I said, somewhat distracted as I slid my fingers down the lines of his torso. Mmmm.

“But you have changed the Fade before, vhenan. You only need practice in focusing your awareness,” Solas said as he traced his own hand down the skin of my arm.

I shrugged. “Even so, I’m never going to be a somniari like you. I can’t do magic,” I said, looking up at him again and stilling my hand.

Solas considered my words, humming softly as he pushed some hair off my cheek. “I would like to attempt something, if you would allow it,” he requested.

I nodded, although I wasn’t sure what he was getting at. He pulled away from me then, sitting upright in the bed and helping me do the same.

Bringing his hand between us, he lit a small veilfire in his palm, cradling the blue light gently above his skin. “Trust me, Anna, this will not hurt you,” he said, as he used his other hand to take my own palm. He pulled it closer to the fire, but then paused a few inches away. “Or, in the case it does harm you, I will heal you immediately.”

“Solas!” I exclaimed, feeling a bit scared. “What are you doing?”

He chuckled. “You must trust me, vhenan,” he smirked with a sly grin.

“But you’re kind of threatening me with fire right now...” I said warily, but Solas only smiled as he pressed his lit palm into mine.

“What do you feel?” he asked, peeling his hand away. The veilfire remained a small, glowing blue orb as it floated there above my skin, casting its light on our two faces.

I stared at the fire, amazed I was somehow holding magic in my palm. “I’m not sure, Solas. It doesn’t burn, but it’s warm...”

Solas sat up a bit straighter in the bed as he watched me hold the flame. “Focus on the fire. Feel its pulse. Will it to burn brighter, stronger,” he urged, his eyes reflecting the blue light.

I tried to do as he suggested... but how does someone will fire to burn brighter? I envisioned the fire getting bigger, attempting to force my thoughts on its flames... Burn, baby, burn.

But the fire remained the same. I exhaled sadly. “Nothing’s happening,” I said, defeated.

Solas smiled, and I looked from the veilfire to his eyes. “The flame should be extinguished by now,” he remarked happily. “I ceased to sustain it the moment it was placed in your palm.”

“Wait… I’m doing this right now?” I said, feeling shock and excitement all at once.

He laughed, pressing his forehead to mine. “Yes,” he said. “I have always sensed some manner of ability lying dormant within you. The way you change the Fade so easily, and your own understanding of magic. You feel it, Anna. You sense the energy around you... an achievement only accomplished by mages.”

Sometime during his speech, the fire had faded, leaving my hand empty. “But... how can you be so sure?” I asked, still staring at my palm. “What if I can just do that stuff because I’m from another realm?”

Solas pondered this a moment. “Perhaps that is the reason, although I do not see the issue. It is clear you have some power, and this test has only confirmed it,” he said after a while. “And I can help your magic manifest, if you desire.”

“No way!” I exclaimed, wrapping my hands around his neck and kissing him. “Of course.”

Solas smiled, humming. “There is so much of you that is a mystery to me,” he said as he brushed his fingers down my back. “Your soul... your abilities...” he trailed off, lost in thought.

“Me, a mystery? How much else could there be to figure out?” I asked.

“I… I wonder, if you are my nas’falon, then if you are also immortal, as I am.”

“Oh,” I said. That had never crossed my mind before. Immortality… Living forever. “That’s so weird to imagine.”

“We could spend eternity together,” Solas said, smiling as he gazed at me. He kissed me lovingly on the lips.

I pulled away, hesitant. “Eternity… That’s a long time.” My eyes wandered from his to the wall. I laid myself back down on the bed, wondering what it would be like to live forever. It was hard enough to even imagine living until one hundred, but to never even die at all...

“Would you not want it?” Solas asked in an alarmed tone, hovering above me to catch my gaze again.

I hummed, pursing my lips together in reluctance. “I don’t know, it’s weird to think about. I would outlive everyone I know...”

“Except me.” His voice was quiet, and his eyes looked so lonely as he studied me. He broke eye contact then to stare at his mural of Arlathan instead.

I raised my fingers to his cheek, trailing them along his skin. His greatest fear is dying alone. Being immortal was a scary and strange idea, but if he were with me, watching the world change together... It might not be so bad.

“What’s it like, living forever?” I said.

“A difficult question,” Solas replied, looking back at me. “Time was different before the Veil. Centuries could pass without a thought.” He paused a moment. “When I first woke here again, the days felt achingly slow. Each sunrise like a decade. I had no idea the severance from magic could make everything so… static.” Solas took a deep breath. “But I am accustomed to it now, and can appreciate how sharp it makes my senses. I also find it is easier to engage with shemlen, with how much longer time feels.” He swallowed, examining me. “Does it frighten you?”

“I just… never thought that was possible for me.” I laid my head back on his chest again. “It’d take some getting used to. Everything in the last few days, really.”

“Yes,” he said. “It is a great deal to learn at once.”

“If it’s true,” I said.

“I hope it is, vhenan,” Solas whispered. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

I squeezed his chest, but didn’t answer. I was in Thedas again, never to return to my world. And I could possibly be here forever. Literally. With Solas, who was apparently my twin soul. And I could be a mage.

It was a lot, and I wasn’t sure what to think. Instead, I closed my eyes, and fell asleep in Solas’s arms.

Chapter Text

I woke up, stretching my limbs and opening my eyes. As I lazily turned to my side, I then noticed the person lying beside me. “AHH!” I yelped, jumping back until I was practically hanging off the edge of the bed.

Solas woke, sitting up and raising a hand defensively. A little ball of electrical energy poofed into his palm, but as he glanced around his surroundings, it faded. “What is it, Anna? What caused your alarm?” he asked, turning towards me with a worried expression.

I laughed awkwardly, shaking my head and scratching my neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you...” I said. “I just... forgot you had hair... and for a second I didn’t know who was in my bed.”

He stared at me deadpan, with absolutely no amusement as he lifted one of his brows. “How is that even possible? We spent all of yesterday together.”

I shrugged, tracing over the reddish-brown tendrils of his hair with my eyes. “I dunno, bad memory, I guess? I’m always a little confused when I first wake up.”

“I am very worried about you, vhenan,” Solas said, shaking his head and chuckling a bit. “Have you forgotten my name, as well?” he teased, pulling me into his arms.

I kissed the line of his jaw. “Yeah... it’s, uh, Fen-something, right? Fen’Dreadful or something like that?” I mumbled into his neck.

He laughed, kissing my hair. “Close enough,” he said, tilting my chin with his hand so he could reach my mouth with his lips.

“Why did you start growing it out anyway?” I asked.

His thumb glided against my cheekbone. “I only cast the hindrance spell for my apostate facade, though I did consider keeping it indefinitely because of how easy it was to manage. But… after you died, I stopped caring altogether.”

“Oh.”

“What would you prefer, Anna?”

“Well,” I said, touching his hair, “I kind of miss your bald head.”

He smiled. “But you always teased me about it.” Solas laughed. “It was the first question you ever asked me.”

“Yeah, well… it was you.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I loved everything about you. Even your old paint-splattered clothes, too.” I smiled. “But you look really good like this,” I said, pulling him into a kiss. “I think I’d like anything if it’s on you, ma nehn.”

Solas hummed. “I think I prefer you in nothing.” His mouth curled, trailing a hand down my bare stomach.

I grinned, and brought my lips to his again. He moved to press kisses down my neck, continuing across my collarbone. I definitely preferred him in nothing, too.

* * *

“Chuckles?!” Varric shouted. “Is that really you?” It was later that day, and Solas and I had gone to the grand hall for some food.

Word had spread of his return throughout the Inquisition, and the companions trickled into the hall to greet the hobo. Even the Inquisitor stopped by.

“Baldy’s not bald ‘nymore?” Sera asked.

“I didn’t know it could grow,” Cole wondered. “I liked when it was shiny.”

“I must agree with Dorian. Your ensemble is vastly improved, Solas, dear,” Vivienne remarked.

The Seeker remained tight-lipped, unsure of what to say. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, an outraged spymaster cut her off instead.

“Where have you been?!” Leliana demanded. “I had my scouts scour Ferelden and Orlais for you, yet nothing could be found!” She placed her palms on the table, leaning in towards the two of us. “I demand answers.” Obviously, she had taken the failure of not finding him to heart.

“I was looking for Anna,” Solas lied. Well, it was mostly a lie.

She narrowed her eyes. “Why didn’t you look with the Inquisition forces? Why did you leave by yourself?”

“I thought it would be more efficient to travel alone,” he said coolly, taking a sip of water. “They would have only slowed me down.”

Leliana rolled her eyes. “That is completely illogical.”

Solas sighed. “I was not in the best mindset. After the defeat of Corypheus, I feared Anna might have perished, but refused to accept it as truth, so I instantly left in search of her.” He looked Leliana straight in the eye. “It was not the smartest course of action, but I was distraught.”

The elf looked quite grim about it, and everyone got quiet from the “confession.” Fen’Harel was certainly an excellent trickster.

Leliana still had her eyes narrowed on him, searching his face for tells of a lie. “Do warn us if you ever decide to run off again,” she said after a moment, still skeptical.

Solas inclined his head in agreement.

“Well, that sounds a hell of a lot more believable than Sleepy’s story,” Varric commented.

“Hey!” I protested. “I’m telling the truth! I really did die and end up in a horrible place, only to wake up in Skyhold again...” Yeah, that sounds like a straight-up lie.

Varric laughed. “I didn’t say I didn’t believe it, just that it sounds unbelievable.” He smiled at me. “No one would ever believe the crazy shit that happens in this Inquisition,” he said, shaking his head. “I could never publish it.”

I gasped. “No, Varric! You totally should! And make sure you mention me. You can use my real name and everything, I give you full permission!” I nodded my head enthusiastically.

The dwarf shook his head, chuckling. “I’ll think about it.”

“Why did you go to Antiva?” Dorian asked curiously, changing the conversation back to the wolf’s mysterious story.

Solas took another sip, completely calm. “I eventually gave up searching for Anna, and thought I might continue my travels. Alone,” he added pointedly. “I had never been to Antiva before, and thought to explore the Fade there.”

Sera rolled her eyes. “Still as boring as ever, Not-Baldy.”

I snickered a little at that one. Solas raised a brow at the noise, but he glanced down at me and smiled. He’d been holding my hand this entire time, and he gave it a squeeze.

“I am pleased you came back,” Cassandra finally said. “For Anna’s sake.” Solas looked at her, still smiling, but didn’t say anything.

“So,” Sera started, meeting my gaze. “You two are together, then? You’re all in it and shite?” she asked, a hint of repulsion in her tone. She turned to Lavellan. “How does Inky feel ‘bout that?”

The Inquisitor gave a polite smile, inclining her head to acknowledge the question. “I’m perfectly fine with it,” she assured.

“Are you really?” Sera asked. “Is that ‘cos you got Cully-Wully or whatever? That blondy, puppy-eyed wanker?”

“I’m sitting right here, Sera,” Cullen chided, highly aggravated. “I can hear you.”

“I was talkin’ to Inky,” Sera said with an exasperated eye-roll. She turned her gaze back to Lavellan. “You really all right?”

Lavellan nodded, taking a sip of her beverage. “Yes, Sera,” she answered, leaning on Cullen. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Well, if I don’t, then who else will?” Sera argued indignantly. “No one else is saying anything about it!”

“I should think I am one to worry after her,” Cullen countered, quite agitated. “But there is an appropriate place and time to voice them...” he muttered under his breath.

“Appropriate,” she snorted, hearing his remark. “If everyone was as ‘appropriate’ as you, then nobody’d ever talk to each other.”

“I’m really okay!” Lavellan exclaimed, holding both her hands up to silence the two. “They’re happy, I’m happy... Can we drop it now?” She exhaled, then turned toward Solas.

“May I speak to you privately, Solas? Outside.” Lavellan gestured towards the door with her head and stood. Gulp.

“Of course, Inquisitor,” Solas said with a nod, and he stood, breaking our hands apart. He gave me a quick smile before following her out the door.

“Doesn’t seem okay,” Sera muttered.

I watched the door close behind him, and when I turned back to the group, everyone was staring at me with suggestive looks and raised eyebrows.

“What?” I said.

“Nothing,” Dorian replied with a smirk. His eyes flickered towards Cullen. “Nothing at all.”

“Are you happy, Anna?” Cassandra asked.

I smiled. “Yes,” I answered. “Extremely happy. He’s... I’m happy.” I glanced down into my lap, my cheeks warming.

The Seeker beamed at me. “Is it just like the stories?”

“It’s better,” I grinned.

“I am glad for you,” she said, then turned a pointed glare to Varric. “And I am sure it is better than the end of Swords & Shields.”

The dwarf rolled his eyes.

The remaining companions sat there for a little while, but slowly they drifted off one by one, heading to their various tasks for the day. Solas and Lavellan were still talking outside (or wherever they were), and I was starting to get a bit nervous. Why was their discussion taking so long?

Soon it was only Cullen and I left, as he seemed to be waiting for Lavellan to return as well, and we sat across each other in uncomfortable silence. The Commander would scratch his neck, periodically checking the door.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” he asked me after a while.

“Dunno,” I said, shrugging. “Elf stuff?” It was then that I realized that both Cullen and I were humans in relationships with elves. The thought was somewhat humorous to me, and I wondered how much Dalish culture Cullen was knowledgeable of. Hmmmm.

“Do you know any Elvish?” I asked the Commander, trying to keep a conversation going.

Both his brows raised. “I cannot say I do,” he admitted.

I smiled. “I can teach you some phrases... You can surprise the Inquisitor with it! I’m sure she’d like it,” I suggested enthusiastically.

“What sorts of phrases?” Cullen asked, intrigued.

“Like ar lath ma,” I offered.

“Arrr lathh maa,” he repeated slowly. “What does that mean?”

I grinned. “I love you! It means ‘I love you,’” I explained.

Cullen became very red then, a blush covering his entire face. “Ah... well, I shall try to remember it,” he replied. “Thank you.”

I nodded. “It’s too bad you never found a job for me,” I said absently.

His mouth twisted at that. “I did try, Anna. But you asked me at a very pressing moment, and there wasn’t much time to train you for the tasks.”

“No, I understand. It's just a pity is all,” I said. “Are you still pretty busy here? Now that Corypheus is gone?”

“Not me personally, no. There hasn’t been much use for our forces,” the Commander said. “So I have mostly been spending my time with…” Cullen stopped himself, turning a bit pink again.

I smiled. “I see.” It was then that Solas finally returned, and I hopped up to greet him. “See ya, Cullen!” I said, waving to him. Solas took my hand and we got the hell out of there, heading back to his quarters.

“You took forever,” I said to Solas. “What did you two talk about?”

“We spoke of several things,” he began, taking his steps at an easy pace. “She was not exactly... content with my previous explanations for my disappearance.”

“Oh, no...” I said, worried. “What did she say?”

“She had thought I was dead or dying, and only accepted my departure for this reason. But upon my return, her wariness has only grown.” He paused, glancing around the hall we were passing through. “She has heard rumors of elves claiming the return of the pantheon.”

“What?” I asked in a whisper. “Does she think it has to do with you?”

“Yes, she had suspicions,” he answered quietly. “So I confessed my involvement.”

I halted completely. “No way,” I said under my breath. “Did you tell her your identity?”

“No,” Solas said, continuing to walk without me. “I did, however, speak of my help in freeing them, and revealed that I am an immortal of Elvhenan.”

“You told her you’re elvhen?!” I asked, returning to his side.

“Yes.” Solas reached for my hand again.

“Lavellan must have freaked out,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

“She had been skeptical of my origins for some time,” he replied in a low voice. “But yes, it was somewhat of a shock...” His voice trailed off as he gazed somewhere far away.

“But what does this mean? Is she going to help you? Will the Inquisition aid the pantheon?” I asked.

“In time,” Solas answered. “Though she still has much to deliberate.”

I blew a slow exhale through my lips. “I can’t believe you told her all that... No wonder why it took so long.”

“Yes,” he said tiredly. “It was not an easy conversation.” Solas paused. “We can’t stay here for long, vhenan.”

“What do you mean?”

“In Skyhold. With the Inquisition,” he said. “We—I need to continue my work with the People.”

“Oh, right. Of course.”

He hesitated. “Unless… you wish to stay here?”

“No,” I said, “I want to be with you.” I leaned into him. “I’m tired of saying goodbye to each other. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he said. “I’ve exhausted enough farewells to you for a century.”

I smiled. “Besides… I’ve always wanted to see more of Thedas.”

“Antiva is beautiful,” Solas said. “I have never journeyed across the sea… but we can discover it together.”

I squeezed his hand. “That sounds lovely.”

He kissed me. “And,” Solas said, smiling, “the Evanuris would like to meet you.”

Chapter Text

On our last day in Skyhold, Solas had another private meeting with Lavellan. Although it was still in its beginnings, the two planned the Inquisition’s role in the rebuilding of Elvhenan. As a Dalish, Lavellan was ecstatic about the return of her gods. She was also under the impression that Solas was a high priest to the pantheon, serving since before the fall of Arlathan. No one had actually told her that, but Solas was so good at misdirection, she’d simply drawn her own conclusions.

I spent my last day hanging out with the Inner Circle as much as I could, but soon it was time for me and my vhenan to leave.

“I’m gonna miss you all so much!” I wailed as I said goodbye to them, standing in front of Skyhold’s eluvian. The companions had all squeezed into the little room where the mirror stood.

“You will always be welcome at the Inquisition, Anna,” Lavellan said with a smile. And it took everything in my power to not burst into tears again from how sincere she sounded. I mean, I didn’t even do anything here…

“Thank you for allowing our use of the eluvian, Inquisitor,” Solas said.

She laughed. “Well, someone around here should use it, and I prefer it to be a person who actually knows how.”

Solas gave a small smile. “Yes, this will make our journey much more efficient,” he said as his eyes skimmed over the mirror’s surface.

“And you will inform me as soon as you leave Thedas?” she asked.

“Of course,” he replied with a nod. “The Inquisition’s resources are greatly appreciated, and needed.”

“Well, then,” she said, glancing between the both of us. “Dareth shiral, you two. I look forward to hearing from you.”

“Dareth shiral,” I returned. I turned to everyone in the room. “I’ll see you all again soon.” I gave each of the companions a hug, trying my best not to tear up again. It was tough, but by the time Solas and I finally stepped through the eluvian, I knew it wasn’t the last time I would be with them all. They’re only a mirror away.

The Evanuris had been slowly gathering support from clans over the last few months, spreading word of their return and the reestablishment of Elvhenan. Talk was moving fast and many clans readily accepted the reappearance of their gods. They had wanted this for centuries, and now that their prayers were finally answered, the excitement was impossible to contain.

It was all in preparation for the Arlathvhen meeting of the clans next year, which was to be the pantheon’s official “debut” among the elves of Thedas. The whole idea seemed a little wild—why would the People so readily believe these elves were their gods, anyway? But Solas assured me that they were “powerful enough” to prove it. Whatever that meant.

The Evanuris were staying in Antiva City, where we headed to meet them. Luckily, Solas already knew which eluvians to take to get there, and we ended up reaching the city by nightfall. I imagined it’d take weeks to get there by horse, maybe even a month. Although, we could have been there even faster if we hadn’t made a few... stops. Cough, pervy hobo, cough.

We had to walk about a mile or so into the city from where the mirror lay hidden in a nearby forest. But the closer we got, the more excited I felt. Antiva City looked amazing!

Nestled into some cliffs by the ocean, it felt straight out of a fairytale. The entire city was lit with lamps, speckling the hills in different colored lights. There were huge ships that filled its giant port, and I briefly wondered what type of boat Solas would travel on.

“This place is beautiful, vhenan,” I cried as we stepped onto the first cobbled street. “All these lights! And the colors!” Each building was painted in a different hue, its facade brightly illuminated by the city’s many lamps.

And it was loud here, too. There were people everywhere, wearing masks and exquisite costumes. They laughed and danced in the streets, while musicians played on every corner. “Is it always like this?” I asked the wolf.

He smiled, lacing an arm around my waist. “We are fortunate enough to have arrived in Antiva during the Satinalia celebration.”

We continued through the Antiva City streets. It looked like a pretty kickin’ festival going on, and there were all sorts of wares being sold in little booths and tents. Food, trinkets, clothing—Yes, I could spend quite a while here. Everything felt so rich and warm, and even the air had some floral aroma mixed with the sea-salt ocean breeze.

Eventually, we stopped in front of a house. “The Evanuris are currently residing here,” Solas explained as his eyes wandered over the building’s exterior. It looked pretty expensive, and at least three stories. The outside seemed like it was made of brick, painted yellow or maybe light green, and it had large windows that were trimmed with white and had fancy patterns in its moldings.

“I can’t believe I’m about to meet the pantheon,” I said nervously.

He gave me a little squeeze. “Do not worry yourself, vhenan. They have been… relatively amicable since we have come to an agreement on our plans for the People.”

I took a deep breath, and Solas knocked on the door. A young elven woman opened it.

“Oh! Hello, ser,” she greeted with an Antivan inflection. The elf rushed to fully open the door so we could pass through. “Welcome. Please, do come in.”

“Thank you,” he said politely as we entered the house. “Are they all inside?”

“Yes, in the sitting room, ser, although... they’ve been drinking,” she warned.

Solas rolled his eyes. “I understand. Thank you.”

She pointed in the supposed direction of the Evanuris before curtsying and scuttling away up some gigantic grand staircase. “Should I be concerned?” I asked, a total bundle of nerves now. Solas had told me in the past how terrible they all were, and one of them had actually killed me.

“Everything will be fine,” he reassured.

Solas led us a few steps down a hallway until we reached a closed door with loud voices coming from behind it. He was about to knock when it suddenly opened.

“Hello, lethallin,” a very familiar voice rang. Morrigan leaned against the frame of the door, holding a glass tumbler lazily in one hand. “We meet again, Anna.”

“Morrigan?” I said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

She clicked her tongue in disapproval. “That is no way to address the Great Protector, now is it?”

Oh shit. So she became just like her mother after all.

Chapter Text

“Holy shit. You’re Mythal, now?” It was then I realized I hadn’t even noticed Morrigan wasn’t in Skyhold anymore. Whoops.

Morrigan laughed. “I’m pleased to see you’re still the same, Anna,” she said, sounding surprisingly warm. Though maybe she was just tipsy.

She turned to the room. “Everyone, Fen’Harel and Anna have arrived!” she announced.

I surveyed the room as soon as I entered after Solas. Elves were sitting all around it, spread out on sofas and plush chairs. There were several wine bottles on a table as well, and each inhabitant had a glass in hand.

I recognized these elves from my previous (brief) encounter, although they were less glowy this time, and only five were present. The Evanuris stared shamelessly at us, blinking expectantly as they sized me up. I smoothed my hair back, feeling self-conscious.

“The twin soul of Fen’Harel,” one of them said. “I have been curious about you.” It was a high and melodic-sounding voice. We turned to see a very beautiful elf approaching us. Her golden hair sashayed with her hips as she smiled wryly, oozing confidence in every step.

“Sylaise,” Solas said with a tiny bow of his head.

“Nice to meet you,” I said with outstanding awkwardness.

Her amber gaze fell to mine. “Fascinating,” the elf said, examining me.

“What is?” I asked, taking a step back.

“Your spirit.”

“Oh… um, thanks?”

“What do you see, Sylaise?” Solas asked, intrigued.

“She has a spirit like ours.” Sylaise looked from me to him. “Though, I suppose as your twin soul, that would be expected. But I have never seen a human with one before.” The elf glanced towards Morrigan. “Besides you, Mythal. But we all witnessed that exchange.”

Solas hummed. “Yes, it is why I suspect Anna may be immortal as well.’

“It is so bizarre how you came to us,” Sylaise said, staring at me again. “A body from another realm, transported through a dream…” She drifted off, lost in thought.

“But a spirit born in ours,” Solas added.

“Even stranger,” Sylaise said, clicking her tongue. “Have you considered that part of her spirit remains in that other place, Fen’Harel? Perhaps it is how she is able to traverse between them.”

He raised his brows. “I had not,” Solas said. “If that is true…” He gazed at me worriedly.

“Wait,” I said. “You’re saying my spirit is split up between the realms? That sounds… bad?”

“Yes,” Solas said, turning to me. He looked very concerned as he said this, scrunching his eyebrows together. “You will deteriorate after a time, as the strain on the spirit is too great.”

“But there is a spell to connect the pieces again,” Morrigan cut in.

“A dangerous spell,” Solas countered.

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Dangerous for quicklings, perhaps. But Anna will be perfectly fine, I assure you,” she said. “Well, besides her problematic character.”

“I’ll really be fine, Morrigan?” I asked, trying to ignore her jab at my personality. I’m not “problematic”!!

“Oh, yes,” she answered. “With all the Evanuris casting together? The chances of failure are quite slim.”

“And it would probably ensure her immortality, as her spirit should naturally be,” Sylaise said.

“Whoa,” I said. “So I’d actually be immortal…” I turned to the wolf. “What do you think, Solas?”

The loud slam of a door interrupted his answer. “Oh, good, you two have returned,” Morrigan said, her eyes moving toward the noise’s direction.

We all glanced at the door to see a pair of male elves enter the room. One elf had his arm draped over the other’s shoulder, and he was saying something loudly in Elvish, wielding a wine bottle high in the air like a sword.

He looked over at Solas and me and dropped the bottle completely, making a soft thudding sound against the carpeted floor. “Fenedhis,” he cursed, and then whispered something to the elf beside him.

“Falon’Din and Dirthamen,” Solas muttered under his breath to me, but he didn’t really need to because what other pair of gods would be so chummy? And I guessed that the especially freaked-out one was Falon’Din.

He had this vampire-y look going on, with skin so pale he actually looked kinda dead, but his dark eyes seemed almost too alive in their intensity. They were practically popping out of his head as they ran up and down my form. Stop staring at me like that, asshole.

Falon’Din did stop his gawking though, as he buried his face into Dirthamen’s shoulder, mumbling some things in Elvish to him. The other elf was much easier to look at. He seemed warm and friendly, and he smiled as he greeted the both of us.

“You’re back, Fen’Harel,” Dirthamen said, still smiling pleasantly. His gaze turned to mine. “And you must be Anna? I’ve heard so much about you.”

I smiled back, taking a few steps toward them. “And you must be Dirthamen! Nice to meet you,” I returned. I looked at Falon’Din, who seemed to be refusing to acknowledge my presence. “Hey, Falon’Din! I’ve been dying to meet you.”

Solas came to my side, amused, but then narrowed his eyes at Falon’Din and scowled. The wolf said some Elvish words to him, and after a few moments and very reluctant sigh, Falon’Din finally looked up and said to me, “I have learned your tongue in these last few months, so I am now able to understand you.”

Not what I had been expecting, but... “Okay...”

Another deep exhale from my murderer and he said, “I apologize for my initial behavior. It was impolite of me to treat you as such.”

“You mean when you killed me?”

He shrugged indifferently. “I never quite cared for your kind,” he said flippantly, as if it were an appropriate excuse for homicide.

Solas said something again in Elvish, his tone tense and warning, but Falon’Din only rolled his eyes. I touched the hobo’s arm to ease him.

“What was that one saying?” I said, glaring at Falon’Din. “Oh, yeah. Dirthara-ma.” Solas snorted.

Falon’Din’s jaw clenched, and it looked like one of his eyeballs was twitching a bit. “Isalaan na’harthir,” he hissed before turning away from us to sulk on a nearby sofa.

“What did that asshole say?!” I asked Solas.

“Do not mind him, vhenan,” he soothed, smiling. He placed his arm around my shoulders, squeezing me fondly. “Perhaps you should start learning Elvhen.”

“Only if you’ll be my teacher,” I smiled.

“I doubt anyone else would have the patience,” Solas teased. I hit him on the arm, and he laughed. He then pulled me aside, turning serious again. “Anna, I must discuss the specifications of this spell with Mythal and Sylaise,” he explained quietly. “Will you be content remaining here with the others?”

“Can’t I come with you?” I asked.

“Of course, my love, but... it is easier and faster for us to converse in Elvhen,” he said hesitantly.

I nodded. “Okay, I understand.” He smiled and kissed my forehead, and a few minutes later the three of them disappeared into another room. I glanced around at the remaining elves, now noticing how silent the room was as everyone watched me. How was I going to socialize with the pantheon without Solas?

* * *

I guess someone could call this a party. A really boring, awkward party that no one would ever want to willingly attend. The things I do for love.

Everyone was pretty drunk here, too, and speaking in slurred Elvish. I had barely met the Evanuris, and already they had shown more of their outrageous personalities in the last two hours than Solas had in nearly a year.

The weirdest thing was that I was sitting next to Falon’Din. Falon’Din, of all people. The elf that killed me without thinking and was a ghost whisperer and all that.

“This is pathetic, really,” Falon’Din whispered to me. “A complete travesty compared to the social gatherings of Arlathan.”

“Yeah, so why does Andruil keep screaming?” I asked under my breath.

Falon’Din rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he relaxed back into the plush Antivan sofa. “She is only vying for attention. It’s best to just ignore it.”

I kept my eyes on the elf, watching as she spun around in circles, laughing maniacally and whipping her long hair. “She’s acting really freaky... Are you sure this is normal?”

“Yes, she has been like this for quite some time. At least the last few millennia or so.” He took a sip of his drink, smiling wickedly into the glass. “I think it’s worse because Fen’Harel’s here. She was ever so enraptured by him.”

I had to roll my eyes this time. “Yeah, okay, whatever, Falon’Din,” I said, drinking some of the fancy Antivan wine they had. “I’m still mad at you for killing me, by the way.”

The elf waved his hand dismissively at me. “Yes, yes. As to be expected.”

“Seriously, you are such an asshole,” I said indignantly. “Do you even know what I went through? I should be trying to kill you right now in revenge or something.”

He laughed at that, shaking his head, but not saying anything. What. A. Douche.

I rested my head on the back of the couch. “What spell did you use, anyway?” I said after a noticeable silence. “To kill me so fast?” I grimaced as I remembered my horribly quick and painful death. I really need to kill this guy.

“Ah,” he replied, looking stupidly smug. “It is one of my own inventions. A poison lightning bolt of sorts.”

“Right...” I mumbled, picturing how well I would be able to strangle him. Maybe if I somehow shoved him to the floor and choked him with my knee on his throat?

“Fen’Harel has changed,” Falon’Din observed thoughtfully during my murderous fantasies. “He never thought of humans—None of us did. They were merely an inferior species.”

I made a Cassandra-esque disgusted noise. “Gee, thanks,” I muttered.

Falon’Din shook his head, smiling to himself. “It’s almost humorous to think of how they enslaved the People,” he remarked.

I raised a brow in disbelief. “It really isn’t.”

He laughed, stretching his arms over his head. “Fen’Harel really ruined the world,” he sighed, sounding nearly entertained by the words.

I wanted to break my glass over his stupid face. “But he did one thing right,” I sneered back. “He imprisoned you.”

Falon’Din snorted, lazily turning to look at me. “You are amusing,” he replied with a small smile. “I believe I can now see your appeal.”

“Uh, okay.” Was that a compliment or another insult?

“When I first saw you tonight, I could not believe that Fen’Harel would waste his time with such a plain-looking human who moves like an ogre and sounds like a nug. I nearly laughed.”

“Oh, please, you practically pissed your pants when you saw me. You must have been shocked. Or scared. Or both,” I accused.

He rolled his eyes. “If anything I was annoyed. I already knew of your revival. Mythal informed us all about it when Fen’Harel went on his little excursion to retrieve you,” he said. “And I was certainly not looking forward to meeting you.”

“Okay, I think I’ve had enough. I’m going to go talk to June or something,” I said.

“Oh, yes. Go bore yourself with the carpenter,” he replied, waving his glass in the air.

I stood from the sofa to leave, but as I stepped away he caught hold of my tunic. “Wait,” he said tiredly. “Stay and chat with me. Dirthamen is still fluttering over there with Andruil, and I rather drown than speak to June or, ugh, Ghilan’nain.”

“And you rather talk to me?” I asked skeptically. Curiously, I sat down again and said in a low voice, “Why don’t you talk to Elgar’nan?”

He exhaled, leaning back into the cushions. “Like he would talk to me.”

I sighed. “Well, that would make two of us.” I peeked over at Elgar’nan, who was looking menacingly aggravated as he sat in a corner drinking wine alone. “Does he hate me? He hasn’t even said a word to me.”

Falon’Din laughed. “Oh, he definitely hates you. But everyone here hates you, so I wouldn’t think much of it.”

“What? Really?!” I said under my breath. “Everyone hates me?”

“Ah, it is not your fault, little human. It is only our lingering contempt for Fen’Harel which latches itself onto you...” He made a weird clawing hand gesture at the word latches. It was then I realized how drunk Falon’Din was. He laid his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes, but his fingers ignited with fire, causing me to jump. He twirled his fingers around, making little flaming spirals.

Everyone hated me? I looked at the other elves in the room. Andruil had stopped spinning, but she was now jumping up and down, trying to touch the ceiling (or at least that was what it looked like).

“I would not have killed you if I had known who you were,” Falon’Din said quietly with his eyes still closed and continuing to spin his fingers around. “Fen’Harel is much more merciful than me... I would have murdered anyone instantly for even harming Dirthamen.”

“Yeah, what’s your relationship with him? Are you friends, brothers, lovers? What’s the story?” I said, keeping a mindful eye on his flaming fingers.

“We are all those things, and more,” he answered lazily.

Hold up. I sat straighter in my seat, disturbed by his answer. “Are you saying you’re lovers with your brother?!”

He sighed, rolling his head towards me and finally opening his eyes to glare at mine. “We are only brothers in spirit, just as you and Fen’Harel are twin souls,” he replied, exasperated. The flames in his hands extinguished.

“Oh, right,” I said awkwardly. “Twin souls... What does that mean, anyway?”

Falon’Din closed his eyes again. “You were born together,” he answered tiredly, speaking his words noticeably slower. “You will always find each other... always return...” And then he passed out. Seriously?

“Thank you for keeping him company,” Dirthamen said a few minutes later as he neared the couch. He smiled as he gazed at Falon’Din, whose mouth was hanging open quite unattractively. “He feels comfortable around you,” Dirthamen observed.

“Um,” I said, “are you sure about that? I think he hates me.”

Dirthamen smiled a little wider. “Anyone who has died is familiar to Falon’Din,” he replied, weirdly happy-sounding. “Especially one who has died by his own hand.”

“Well, that’s super creepy,” I remarked, wondering how many others he had been comfortable with. I looked up at the still-standing Dirthamen. “Do you hate Fen’Harel?” I asked him.

The elf met my gaze, his lips forming a tight line. “We are all distraught and angry to see what has become of the People,” he said. “But I understand Fen’Harel’s reasoning for trapping us... I only wish he had protected Elvhenan.”

“So you don’t hate him?”

Dirthamen’s eyes wandered back to watching Falon’Din sleep. “Our cooperation is necessary to restore what was,” he said dryly. “Any animosity towards each other must be disregarded.”

“So you do hate him?”

He sighed. “We have all wronged each other in some form... And though Fen’Harel has wronged the People unforgivably, he is still my lethallin, and I will fight alongside him for as long as our goals remain aligned.”

I nodded. Dirthamen’s words were somewhat reassuring. They had an alliance… kind of.

And just as I was considering asking Dirthamen what he thought of me, the wolf himself came bursting through the door. “Vhenan,” he said excitedly, striding across the room to meet me, “The spell—are you willing to try it?”

“Is it safe?”

Solas nodded. “I believe so, yes. We discussed it at length, and Lady Morrigan is right—there is little chance for complications.”

“All right.” I grinned. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter Text

“Look at this, biotch! Look at it!” I exclaimed, shoving my flaming fingers into Falon’Din’s face.

The elf rolled his eyes, “Please,” he spat. “Anyone can set themselves on fire.”

“I didn’t set myself on fire! I’m doing magic, see? Magic!” I twiddled my fingers even closer to his eyes.

“I had no idea humans came as small and loud as you.” He looked annoyed as he swatted me away, but his eyes still skimmed over my hands. “What else can you do?” he asked, somewhat curiously.

I grinned. “This,” I replied. I opened my palm to hold a little flaming ball.

Falon’Din snorted. “I meant, what other spells can you cast besides fire?”

“Nothing,” Solas said, sidling up beside me. “She has yet to try the other elements.”

“Shut it, Solas!” I said, still smiling. “I have fire.”

“Are you certain the spell was successful?” Falon’Din asked the wolf. “She somehow seems worse than before...” he remarked bitterly.

I rolled my eyes. “The ritual worked, right, Solas?”

“Yes,” he answered, smiling. “Perfectly.”

Falon’Din made a disgusted noise. “So you will actually live eternally now?” He sank into a chair unhappily. “The world is surely doomed.”

“Yeah, unless you kill me again,” I mocked in an obnoxious tone.

“I’m considering it...” he replied quietly with a small smile.

And even though he still pissed me off, I smiled back. Yes, the spell had worked, and I was immortal now! And once my spirit was finally brought wholly to Thedas, all this magic burst out of me in hot flames, like it had been waiting for ages to emerge. Guess my spirit being divided caused a lot of pent-up power.

Morrigan, Sylaise, June, Elgar’nan, and Solas were the only ones to help with the spell in the end, and luckily they were there to immediately extinguish my unexpected fire. Besides that happening, I couldn’t tell if I felt any differently. But I could feel the Veil now, or at least what I thought was the Veil. It was definitely something in the air. A tingling thing.

And Solas’s aura jumped out at me like a slap in the face. He felt like the biggest entity in the room, an elephant impossible to ignore. I could find him across an ocean now if I wanted. He would never escape me... Muahahaha.

* * *

Weeks crawled by as I learned ma magic (and Elvish, see?), but I still wasn’t very skilled at it. In fact, the only thing I could actually do was cast fire, but I was happy since it made bathing so much faster. Worked for me!

Solas was a good teacher, patient and knowledgeable, but ultimately preoccupied with restoring the People. Elves kept stopping by the house in Antiva, hoping to meet the Evanuris and join their cause. Keepers from clans were coming left and right, and all of them were practically fainting from meeting their gods.

And though there was always something to do or someone to meet, I missed the Inquisition. I kept wondering what the companions were up to. Were they as busy as the Evanuris? Was the Inner Circle still even with the Inquisition?

One dull afternoon, I asked my vhenan a question, “Can we go visit Skyhold?”

“No,” Solas lamented sadly, “there are too many preparations needed here. I regretfully cannot spare the moment.”

“Well... can I go?” I suggested instead.

The question surprised the hobo, but he saw no harm in it, and agreed to help show me the way back. “I will miss you, vhenan,” he said tenderly. “Will you still travel with me across the sea?”

“Of course,” I said, kissing him. “I’ll just be gone for a week or so.”

So I went on my own little trip through the eluvians to return back to Skyhold. After carefully writing down Solas’s directions about which mirrors to walk through, I bid my farewells and was plopped into the fortress by the next evening.

“I’m back! I’m back! I’m baaaack!” I shouted, running up to every person I knew. A few raised eyebrows, double-takes, and awkward hellos later, the whole Inquisition became aware of my unexpected arrival.

And though she was by far the busiest of them all, the Inquisitor wanted to meet with me as soon as she was able. “What is the pantheon like?” was the first question out of her mouth (no “hello” or “how are you,” mind you). “Are they very powerful? Can you ask them to come to Skyhold? We finally finished some of the last repairs, so I think it should be presentable enough for them to see,” she babbled enthusiastically.

I stared at the elf, my mouth hanging open in shock. “Uh…”

Lavellan looked completely different from the Gurlll I knew. Her hair was now black, her eyes brown. Her nose was smaller, her face a bit rounder. Her lips weren’t even shiny anymore! She was like an entirely new person. And yet… she still had the Anchor in her hand.

She angled her head at me. “Something wrong?”

“Are you… Gurlll Lavellan?”

The Inquisitor laughed. “I’ve grown tired of that silly nickname, Anna. You can call me Ellana.”

Huh? “That was a nickname?” I gaped at her. “Did you dye your hair, too?”

She smiled, touching her previously-white locks. “I’m not sure what happened to my appearance, but it changed several weeks ago out of the blue. I think it must have to do with the Anchor, somehow.”

I swallowed. A few weeks ago would align with the spell the Evanuris cast on me… Holy shit. If the ritual stitched my spirit back together, could that mean a piece of it had been in Lavellan this whole time? And now she was back to whatever she was supposed to be??

“I need to go,” I said quickly. “I’ll-I’ll tell you about the pantheon later.”

“Oh—all right,” Lavellan said, always a bit too kind for her own good. “We’ll talk later.”

I rushed out of there, seeking the Commander first. If anyone were to notice a difference in the elf, it’d probably be her curly-haired boyfriend.

“Cullen,” I said, finding him in his office. “What happened to the Inquisitor?”

“Anna? When did you return to Skyhold?” he said, bewildered.

I shook my head. “Today, but—I just saw the Inquisitor. Why does she look so different?” I gasped, out of breath from hurrying over. “Does she act differently, too?”

“Ah… yes. We think it must have to do with the Anchor,” Cullen said. “She has changed, though she isn’t terribly different.” He smiled affectionately as he thought of her. “Ellana seems calmer now, and at peace with herself. She feels more… perceptive and insightful, I think.” He blushed a little.

“That is… wild.” I scratched my head, unsure of how to digest this new information. “You two are still good, though?”

His blush turned even deeper. “Ah… yes. Yes, we are.”

I smiled. “Well, at least that. I’m glad to hear it.”

* * *

But what the fuck, what the FUCK?! This could mean that whatever choices I’d made in the game in my world, could’ve actually affected this world, and… Lavellan had been a part of me. Or had some of my spirit within her, at least. Had I influenced her life this entire time? Her relationship with Solas?

I had never told Solas about the character creator. About how… I was the one who had made her look like that. Named her fucking Gurlll. As a joke!

I needed to tell him. This secret had been kept long enough. I met him in the Fade as soon as I could.

“How is Skyhold?” he asked, kissing my cheek and wrapping me in his arms. We were in a garden that Solas had dreamed up. It must be a place in Antiva that he wanted to show me, but I had more important matters to discuss.

“The Inquisitor—She’s changed, Solas,” I said immediately.

“Changed?”

I nodded my head. “You probably need to see her in person to understand, but yeah. She’s not the same. She told me her name’s Ellana. It isn’t Gurlll! Apparently, that was a nickname?”

Solas squinted at me. “... Ellana?” he said. “Why would she not tell me?”

I exhaled. “Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but… there’s something I never told you.” I bit my lip.

His brows lifted. “What?”

“I never told you that… in my world, when you could play the stories of Thedas, well—you could choose what the Inquisitor looked like, too. So I gave her white hair and teal eyes and Mythal vallaslin and stuff. And… I named her Gurlll.” I swallowed.

Solas was very pale, and he pulled away from me. “That… that is—I am not sure I understand.”

“I know, it doesn’t make sense,” I said, sighing. “But… that’s what I chose for her to look like, and I could have chosen anything. And when I came here, she looked exactly like that. As I’d made her.”

“I always did think her eye color was peculiar…” he wondered.

“Well, she doesn’t look like that anymore. Her hair is black now, and her eyes are brown.” I shook my head. “Solas, I think a piece of my spirit was inside of her. I think the ritual removed it.”

His eyes widened. “Truly?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, maybe it’s kind of like the transfer you did with Mythal, you know?”

He worried his lip. “I… suppose,” said Solas. “Why did you never tell me this before?”

I ran my hands through my hair. “I don’t know! I thought telling you about playing through the stories was bad enough. But this was always, like, next-level insane. Because it made me sound like I was some god who created Lavellan or something.” I exhaled, shaking my head. “None of this makes any sense!”

Solas swallowed. “Did you have any sort of control or influence over her?” He looked quite perturbed.

“I don’t think so?” I said nervously. “Though she did make all the same decisions that I did when I played the story… But I never had any control over her after I came here. Or, I don’t think I did. I mean, if I did, she probably would have fought harder to stay with you, or even figured out your identity.”

Solas hummed, his hand rising to his chin in contemplation. “Has her character or mind changed in any way?”

“I think a little, yeah,” I replied, nodding. “I talked to Cullen about it, and he said she seems a lot happier. And, like, maybe more calm and insightful or something?”

The elf snorted.

I gaped at him. “Don’t laugh! This is serious!”

“This is unspeakably strange, Anna,” Solas said, looking somewhat amused now. “Though, as it involves you, I should not be surprised. Everything with you is strange.” He took my hand. “I do find a small comfort in it, though.”

“How? This is beyond freaky.”

“Because it is like I loved you all along, vhenan.” He smiled. “Like I loved the piece of you inside of her.”

My nose scrunched up. “That’s so fucked up and weird, Solas.”

He laughed a little. “I suppose it is.”

“You seem shockingly relaxed about this.”

Solas sighed, resigned. “At this point, I… I am simply glad that she is happy. And that you are here, alive, with me.”

“Well… I guess it is a good thing. She’s her own person now. Who she was meant to be.”

“And you are whole.” He smiled, one corner of his mouth lifting higher than the other.

“Do I seem different to you, Solas?” I asked him. “Since the ritual?”

“You feel more… vivid. Radiant, somehow,” he answered. “Your spirit is stronger. Does it feel different?”

“The magic does, for sure,” I said. “And I feel happier. I think more at peace, too. But maybe that’s because we’re finally together.”

He smiled, taking me in his arms. “Yes. I feel the same.” He met my mouth in a kiss.

Well, whatever had happened with Lavellan—whatever I had done to her—at least it was finally righted again. As it should be. As it should’ve been, all along.

* * *

I was happy to see all of the Inner Circle was still in Skyhold. And naturally, they asked me about Solas and the pantheon.

“Yeah, they’re around, doing stuff for the elves and everything, but listen to this...” and then I told the companions about my new powers from my spirit being divided and all that, but they didn’t seem to really care. I supposed they had just accepted my oddness at this point. That everything that happened to me was random and made no sense.

“You have to write a story about that now, Varric,” I told the dwarf, sitting in the main hall with him.

He scratched his head, creasing his brow in hesitation. “I don’t know, Sleepy. It doesn’t sound very realistic... or even exciting...”

“But it actually did happen!” I argued.

Varric shook his head, shrugging. “People would more likely believe the Inquisitor’s story over that.”

I sighed. Even though Corypheus was defeated, the Inquisition was still fairly busy, and hardly any of the Inner Circle had time for me. They were all focused on new endeavors or pre-Breach problems they had been putting off for far too long. The Inner Circle generally seemed glad I was doing well, but I was more of a hindrance than anything else.

“Look at this, Dorian, look!” I had said, snapping my fingers with a little flame appearing.

“Incredible,” he complimented sarcastically, peeling his eyes away from a letter to roll them at me. “You’ve accomplished what I had done by the age of five.”

“Vivienne!” I exclaimed when I found her sitting on her sofa. “Teach me how to cast a Knight-Enchanter sword! I want to swing a big magic blade!”

“Madame de Fer,” she corrected in aggravation. “And why are you here?” she asked, ignoring my request. “I thought you were supposed to be with Solas, traveling far away.”

“I’m just visiting, geez,” I huffed, turning to leave.

It was like the Inquisition was moving at an even faster pace than when the Breach was still around. Times were changing, and the saviors of the world were in hot demand. They were now the biggest celebrities in Thedas, and politics, alliances, old acquaintances, and even the occasional fan mail kept them consistently unavailable.

But there was one who went relatively untouched by the new fame, and he was far more compassionate towards me than the others. “You’re much brighter now,” Cole observed when he first saw me. “Bold and blinding, like a...”

“Bird? Beauty? Boss?” I guessed excitedly.

“Fire. Like fire,” the spirit finished, blinking absently. “He’s happy now. He never thought he could be happy. He thought he’d die alone.”

I smiled, thinking of Solas. “I’m happy, too, Cole! I get to live forever with my best friend.”

“You never thought you’d be happy, either,” Cole said.

Huh. Never thought about that.

That evening, I ended up in the tavern, and all the companions gathered there together again. We laughed and exchanged tales, played some Wicked Grace, and they even got me to sing for them. It was almost like old times, minus my busy wolf, and I felt so delighted to be in Skyhold again. This place would always be my home, where I found love and family, and where my life truly began.

* * *

“What are you doing, vhenan?” Solas asked, approaching me from behind.

“Painting,” I told him. “Pretty good, huh?”

“It... exceeds my expectations.”

I laughed. “Better than nothing.”

“But why are you painting, Anna?” he asked as he enfolded me into his arms. “And why here?”

“Well, someone had to finish the last mural... and I’m only practicing, just like you do.”

“Ah,” he said, smiling, “how prudent.”

“See, that’s you,” I explained, pointing to the fresco, “and that’s the rest of the Evanuris right there... That’s Skyhold with the Inquisition banner...” I waited, looking at him expectantly. “So what do you think?”

Solas pursed his lips, trying to suppress a laugh. “Your painting is certainly improving,” he said, very diplomatically.

“And...?” I smiled, raising both my eyebrows.

“And you are very proficient at manipulating the Fade.” He grinned as he glanced around the dream.

“And?”

Solas chuckled. “And I love you,” he whispered softly.

I laughed, setting down my paintbrush and turning to kiss him. “Everything’s going so well,” I said. “It’s like I’m living in a happily ever after or something.”

“Happily ever after?”

“It’s the end of a story, Solas, when everything comes together perfectly,” I explained.

“I see,” he remarked. “But there is much still left to accomplish, vhenan... When will you return to Antiva? The ship departs in two days.”

“Tomorrow, I promise, I just wanted to finish the mural.” I gave him a little squeeze. “Everyone here misses you, even if they don’t say it.”

He smiled. “I will visit as soon as I am able,” he promised.

I smiled back at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You know, Varric says he can’t publish a story about my life. Apparently, it’s too ‘unbelievable.’”

Solas laughed. “Unbelievable?”

“Yeah. It’s too fantastical. What with coming from another realm, and my spirit... Plus I’m immortal, so that’s extra weird.”

Solas hummed. “Do you regret becoming immortal?” he asked quietly. “Without the ritual, you might have had a normal lifespan.”

“No. Why would you ask that?” I laughed. “If I wasn’t immortal, I couldn’t live forever with you,” I said, poking him in the chest.

“But do you miss your world?” he asked worriedly. “You so often dream of your parents...”

“Ah, well, I miss them a little, but what’s there to do? I can’t go back there,” I said, leaning my head against him. “But I feel so happy here, I don’t want to go back. This is where I belong.”

“With me?” he murmured.

“With you.” I smiled.

“For eternity?”

I sighed happily. “Forever and ever.”

“Are you certain you won’t tire of me?”

“Yes,” I answered with a smile, pressing my lips to his. “I don’t regret it, and I’ll never regret it. You can ask me in a thousand years, and I’ll still say the same thing.”

He grinned. “Shall I test that theory?”

One thousand years later...

Nope. Still didn’t regret it.

THE END