Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Did Dean think he would be kicked out? No. Has he been kicked out? Yes. Why? Well, his dad turned up four days later than he said he would, meaning Dean had to steal food from the grocery store. Dean was pissed at John when he got back, drunk off his ass. Dean shouted at him and said things he probably shouldn’t have.

He was only really angry because he hated seeing Sammy go hungry. His plan is to wait until dad leaves on another job and then he can go back into the shitty flat they are renting.

Easier said than done. John had driven Dean into the centre of town and just left him. He was at least half an hour away from the apartment and he had nothing except the clothes on his back.

A few sketchy guys watched Dean get kicked out of the car so his plan is to just keep his head down and walk for a bit until he is alone. He can defend himself but there are five of them and he would rather not deal with them today.

Hood up, head down, fast walk past the dodgy fuckers.

“What’s the hurry, pretty boy?” One whistled.

“Slow down.”

“Come here.” One of them grabbed his arm. Dean shook him off and picked up his pace.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He looked up, one of the men had gotten in front of him. Heart beating like mad, he turned around.

They had surrounded him. The lump in his throat grew. Panicked, he tried pushing past one of them but they pushed him backwards. Dean stumbled but managed to catch himself. They laughed and one of them grabbed Dean’s crotch.

His hood fell down as he pushed the grotesque man away. They all whistled and laughed at Dean’s distress.

Dean’s fight or flight response kicked in and he punched one of the men square in the face. He stumbled backwards and Dean saw the blood-forming. He tried to run but someone grabbed him from behind. The man's arms came around him and he was caged in. The man’s rancid breath tickled his ear,

“Now stay still while we take turns fucking that pretty ass of yours.”

Dean froze before he frantically started thrashing. He was pulled into the dirty, piss smelling alleyway.

“HELP ME—”

He was cut off when one of the men put their hand over his mouth. He tried biting down but the man quickly replaced his hand with a dirty rag. He kept struggling, adrenaline running through his veins.

“Stop fucking moving!” The man that was caging him around spun them and Dean’s head hit the wall of the alley. He tasted the iron tinge of blood in his mouth. It stunned him and the men took this time to spread his legs and start to pull down his jeans.

It was only when the cold night air bit at the back of his thighs that he started to struggle again.

“I said, stop moving!” He punctuated every word by slamming his head against the wall.

Dean’s legs gave out and started to slip down the wall. One of the men put his weight against Dean’s back.

“You’re not going to get away from us.” A nasally voice said into his ear. He shuddered but couldn’t find the energy to fight back. He felt like he was going to be sick. Blood was running down his head and was smeared on the wall. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears and the laughs of the men at his attempt to escape.

“Good boy.” A cold hand pulled down his boxers and pulled his cheeks apart. Dean closed his eyes and tried not to cry.

He blacked out. All he could hear was white noise.

He didn’t know how long it took until they left him on the ground. His jeans and boxers were around his ankles. They walked off laughing but not before spitting on him and kicking him.

It was bitterly cold and his head wound was still bleeding. He slowly slipped out of consciousness, accepting that he was going to die.

Castiel was coming home from work. He had stayed late grading papers and had to stop at the local grocery store because he had run out of milk. After he got his milk and was walking back to his car he sensed something was wrong. He looked down the alley and saw a naked man sprawled on the floor.

Caution was thrown to the wind. He jogged down the alley and crouched beside the man. He checked for a pulse and let out a sigh of relief when he found one. Cas gulped when he realised what must have happened to the unknown man.

The emergency blanket he kept in the back of the car finally had a use. Quickly after grabbing it, he got back to the man’s side. He couldn’t have been much younger than himself. Maybe twenty-two?

He tried not to look as he pulled the man’s jeans back up.

He swiftly turned the man around and wrapped the blanket around him. Cas couldn’t help but notice that the unknown man was gorgeous. Even with the blood crusted on his face and the bad street lighting, Cas could see that.

“OK, let’s go.” He murmured to himself as he picked the man up bridal style, he made sure the blanket was covering him and walked back to his car.

He placed him in the backseat and got into the front. The heating was turned up to full blast. One last glance back at the man in the rearview mirror and then he started to drive.

He wavered between taking the man to the hospital or to his house. He decided on taking him to his house as it was the closest.

He scooped up the man, who was worryingly still unconscious and took him in.

He walked straight to the guest room and put the man on the bed. After checking him over, Cas found a massive cut on his forehead. It had stopped bleeding but he knew it could get infected. The man also had major bruising across both sides of his ribs as well as around his wrists and neck. He checked his legs but only to check for broken bones, he didn’t find any. The man probably had other injuries but he didn’t want to check anything too private while he was still unconscious.

He walked into the en-suite and took all the necessary things to clean the wounds; a bucket with some hot water and a rag to wash the blood, alcohol to clean the wound as well as some cotton balls.

The man was still unconscious when Cas got back. He started by washing the crusted blood off of the man's face. With proper lighting and no blood on his face, Cas could see a light dusting of freckles. The gash looked worse than it was, it didn’t need any stitches. He put the alcohol on the man’s head to clean it. The man started to rouse. Cas finished dabbing the cut and sat back.

The man groggily started moving. He suddenly froze and sat up.

Emerald eyes connected with azure.

“Get the fuck away from me!” Cas put his hands up in a non-threatening manner. The man scrambled backwards and only really seemed to stop and think until his back hit the wall.

He looked around and saw that he was in a bedroom. He also saw the red rag Cas was holding and the blanket he was clutching around himself.

“It’s OK. My name is Castiel Novak, I found you passed out in an alley. This is my home, I brought you here to help you.”

“Why should I believe you?” His stunning eyes narrowed.

“You don’t have any reason to,” Cas stated calmly. The true answer seemed to shake the younger man.

“Can you at least tell me your name?” Cas requested calmly.

“Dean Winchester.”

“OK, Dean. Do you want me to run you a bath and get you some food?”

Dean licked his lips and the sound of his stomach was heard from where Cas was sitting, “Yes, please.”

Cas nodded and slowly got up. He walked into the en-suite and ran a bath. He placed the shampoo and soap he used beside the bath and placed two fresh towels down. He also put a pair of his spare pyjamas beside the bath. He rummaged around in the medicine cabinet and found some antiseptic cream.

“You can use the shampoo, soap, towels, clothes and anything else you need. There is also some antiseptic cream on the side.”

Dean blushed at the mention of the cream but thanked him nonetheless.

“If you put your clothes in a pile I can wash them for you. Do you have any preference for what you want to eat?”

“No… Thank you.”

“Take as long as you like, Dean. The kitchen is just down the hall to the left. I’ll leave your food there.”

Dean nodded and watched Cas leave and close the door behind him. Cas walked into the kitchen and called Gabe before he started cooking for himself and Dean.

Dean sat very still for a moment, unsure of what was happening.

He was… five men… he thought he was going to die, accepted it even.

He suddenly felt very dirty. He quickly got up and tried not to limp as he made his way into the en-suite. He completely avoided looking at all the mirrors. He couldn’t stand looking at himself right now. He stripped quickly and put his foot into the bath.

The water was at the perfect temperature. He sat down and got straight to scrubbing. He used a cloth and gingerly cleaned around his hole. The wave of shame and disgust he felt for himself was stronger than he had ever felt. His hair was covered in shit from the alley floor, blood and cum.

He sighed and moved further into the water.

He didn’t know how long he was in there but it was long enough for the water to become cold and Castiel to knock on the door.

“Dean. Are you ok?” A deep voice asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Dean got out of the bath. He dried off and then looked at the antiseptic cream. He gingerly applied it around his abused hole, it did take the sting off. The pyjamas were old but looked nice enough. They were blue plaid.

He caught his reflection in the mirror and was horrified by what he saw. Purple bruises covered his neck, ribs, backs of his thighs and ass. He looked away and tried to swallow the shame.

He put all of his clothes and the towel into a little pile.

He cautiously opened the door and looked around. Castiel was nowhere to be seen.

He practically tiptoed down the corridor. He was sceptical about Castiel, why would he have helped him if it wasn’t for something?

The kitchen was modest, Dean didn’t really look around as his eyes were drawn to the plate of food. It was a classic grilled cheese sandwich. Dean practically launched himself at it. There were two sandwiches on the plate for which he was thankful. There was a glass of water that he drank down, beside it was some pills, Advil he presumed. He took them even though it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do.

He was on his last sandwich when Castiel reappeared.

“How are you feeling now, Dean?”

Dean looked at him critically. Cas was only slightly shorter than himself. His hair was a complete mess like he had been running his hands through it. His eyes were a piercing blue. His lips were full. He was wearing a trench coat and the tie around his neck had been loosened. He was definitely attractive.

“I’m fine... Thank you for the pyjamas and the food.”

“It’s no trouble, Dean. You are welcome to stay the night.”

Dean nodded. He looked at the, now empty, plate.

“Thank you...Cas… I know you didn’t have to take me into your home and do all this for me. I… I would probably be dead without you.”

Cas looked down, “It’s no trouble, Dean. I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Dean watched Cas leave before he walked back to the room he woke up in.

He crawled under the plain white sheets. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the events of the night.

Chapter Text

Cas woke up to shouting from the guest room. He ran out of his room and into the room Dean was in. The sheets were tangled around his legs and he was thrashing side to side.

“Get the fuck away from me!”

Cas switched the lights on.

“Dean?” He called. Dean didn’t stop and Cas kept calling. When it became apparent that just shouting wouldn’t do anything, he grabbed Dean by the shoulders and held him still.

“Dean!”

Dean’s eyes shot open and he looked directly into Cas’.

“Dean, it is OK. It’s me, Castiel, I brought you to my home. You’re safe.”

Dean was still hyperventilating.

“Dean, Dean, you need to breathe.”

He took deep breaths in and out, encouraging Dean to copy him. Only when Dean had stopped hyperventilating did Castiel move away from him.

Cas got up to turn off the lights and leave. He assumed Dean didn’t want to talk about it.

“Cas…”

“Yes, Dean?” He had switched off the lights and was just about to leave.

“What is your job?”

Cas moved and sat on the chair in the corner of the room. Dean sat up.

“I’m a high school history teacher. I work at a local high school."

“You can afford this house on a teacher's salary?”

Cas chuckled, “No. My family is rich. My mother, Naomi, is ruthless, cruel and overall unpleasant. My father, Zachariah, is arrogant and callous. I have four brothers. I’m the youngest followed by Gabe, Balthazar, Luci and finally, Michael is the oldest. ”

“Wow, your family really has all the religious names.”

Castiel chuckled again, “It was my mother's idea.”

“So why are you even a teacher? Don’t you have some family business or something?”

Cas frowned, “Well, yes, there is a family business. Lucifer and Michael are a part of it. Gabe, Balthazar and I are the outcasts.”

“Why?” Dean asked curiously, pulling the blanket further around himself.

“Gabe just left. He didn’t want to be a part of it and my father threatened to kick him out. He said ‘You can’t kick me out if I leave’ and then left. I was disowned because I am homosexual. Balth defended me so he was thrown out. Gabe helped me get out, Luci threatened to kill me if I told anyone. They didn’t want the Novak name to be ‘stained’.”

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean didn’t know what to say and the awkward silence stretched.

“I talk to Gabe and Balth frequently. It was Gabe who suggested that we move here. He is only a few miles away.”

“You two sound like me and Sammy.”

Cas didn’t say anything and waited for Dean to continue.

“My mom died when I was young, I was eight, it was days before Sammy’s first birthday. A house fire. I was the one who ran out with Sam. Dad changed after that. No more trips to the shooting range, no more showing me how to fix the car. He had to move around the country for work. He brought us with us but would leave us in motels with enough food. Sometimes though… he would be away longer. I would have to steal. I was nine for fucks sake! I had to look after myself and a toddler.”

Cas awkwardly tried to reassure him, “But Sam is ok now?”

“Yes… well I don’t know. I was kicked out because dad came back four days later than he said he would. I had to steal again. He came back, drunk off his ass. I snapped, said that I wish it was him that died in the fire and not mom because at least mom would feed us. I’m used to him getting angry and beating me up a bit but this time was different. He told me to get in the car and drove me to the centre of town. That’s why… fuck, how could I have been so weak! I should’ve gotten away. There were five of them. Five… Cas. I tried to fight them but I couldn’t. Fuck! I’m so fucking weak!”

Dean was shouting and tears were streaming down his face by the end. Cas got up and walked over to the side of the bed. Cas tried to reassure him but Dean wasn’t listening, he was sobbing and rocking himself.

Cas gingerly sat on the side of the bed and put his hands on Dean’s shoulder.

They sat like that for who knows how long. Dean, sobbing and shaking and Cas sitting silently, trying to support him but not knowing how.

Eventually, Dean fell asleep. Cas silently crept outside. He knew there was no point in trying to get another few hours of sleep. He instead wandered into the kitchen and made himself a cup of strong black coffee. He spent the next few hours reading, washing dishes and other chores while trying not to think about Dean.

Dean came into the kitchen three hours later. He met Castiel’s eyes, looked down and blushed.

“There is some cereal in the cupboard. Your clothes are in the dryer.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

Cas didn’t have to go to work as it was a bank holiday weekend.

“Do you have a number to contact your brother or father?” Cas asked.

“No. Dad changes his number frequently and Sam doesn’t have a phone. I do know my uncle Bobby’s number though.” He busied himself by pouring cereal. When he reached up to get the cereal, his shirt rode up and the purple bruise made Cas inexplicably angry.

“Do you want to call him?”

“No. Can you just drive me back to the flat?”

“If you would like that then I will. However, I will only leave once I see that you are safe.”

Dean didn’t like the way that made his chest feel.

Dean quickly finished his breakfast and Cas passed him his washed clothes. He got dressed quickly, reapplying the antiseptic cream before putting his clothes back on.

“Are you ready?” Cas asked as Dean walked back into the kitchen.

“Yes.”

If Dean was feeling more like himself, he probably would have commented on Castiel’s crappy car.

Dean looked out the window and realised he had absolutely no idea where he was. He told Cas where he was staying. The silence started to get awkward and Dean started to jiggle his knee.

Cas must have seen or sensed this because he switched the radio on.

They got to the flat 50 minutes later.

“Um, can you just wait here for a minute?” Dean didn’t really know why he asked but as soon as it was out he started backpedalling,

“Obviously you don’t have to or anything…”

Cas tried not to smile at the slightly adorable awkwardness, “Dean, I will wait, don't worry.”

Dean looked shocked but slightly smiled and got out of the car.

Cas watched Dean walk into the shabby building, noticing his slight limp.

Cas got worried when Dean came back out minutes later. Cas got out of the car when he saw Dean’s obvious distress.

“What happened?” Cas asked, looking into Dean’s clouded eyes.

“They’re not there! I knocked but there was no answer. I checked outside, the impala is gone.”

Cas’ mind spun,

“Let’s ask the front desk. Maybe they know what happened.”

Dean started pacing around. Cas stood in front of him and grabbed him firmly by the shoulders.

“Dean. We will find them.”

Dean took a deep breath and looked into Cas’ eyes.

“Let’s go ask the front desk. What room are you in?”

“Seventy-four.”

Cas nodded and they walked together to the front desk.

The lady at the front desk was smoking and reading a magazine. Cas decided to do the speaking for them both,

“Excuse me, did anyone check out of room seventy-four last night?”

She didn’t look up, “Yeah, left in a rush.”

“Did they say where they were going?” Dean asked frantically. She rolled her eyes and looked up. Her eyes were immediately glued to the bruise around Dean’s neck. Cas coughed when she didn’t answer.

“No, I don’t know.” She eyed Castiel suspiciously. Dean glared at her.

“Well, thanks for nothing.” Dean turned and walked off. Cas thanked her distractedly and then jogged after Dean.

Dean was pacing and pulling at his hair. Cas knew there was nothing he could do. They needed to come up with a way to find Dean’s dad and brother. He remembered Dean saying something about his uncle Bobby.

“What about your uncle? Could we contact him?”

Dean stopped pacing, “Do you have a phone?”

“Yes.” Cas fumbled in his trench coat and passed Dean his phone.

Dean leaned against the car and scrubbed his hand over his face. Cas leaned beside him.

“Bobby, it’s Dean. I really need to talk to you. Can you call me back?”

Dean sighed.

“How about we give it a few hours and then call him back?”

Dean’s shoulders sagged.

“We will find them, Dean.” He put his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“I can’t lose Sammy.” He mumbled.

“You won’t, I promise.”

Cas drove them back to his home.

“I have to grade some papers, you can… watch a movie if you want.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Cas got all his papers and started to mark the papers. Dean was watching a Star Wars movie. He was just through the first stack of papers when his phone rang. Dean paused the movie.

Cas looked down at his phone, the caller ID said it was Gabe.

“It’s my brother,” Cas told an expectant Dean. He frowned and turned back to the movie.

“Hey, Cassie! I was just wondering how you and Deano are doing.”

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. He stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“He is still here. His brother and father weren’t in the flat they were renting. They must have left sometime after Dean was kicked out.”

“Shit, Cas, what are you going to do?”

“Dean has an uncle, he tried to contact him but it went straight to voicemail. Dean is going to call him a few more times but if he doesn’t pick up I don’t know what we will do.” Cas told Gabe this as he made himself another cup of coffee.

“He doesn’t have any other family?”

“He hasn’t mentioned anyone else. I really don’t know what to do, Gabe.” He confessed as he leaned against the counter with his coffee.

Gabe hummed, “I guess you could always travel to his uncle's place? Look, if you need to take some days off of work I am sure Garth would understand.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Of course I am, I’m your best big brother!”

“Goodbye, Gabe.”

“Bye, Cassie. Call if you need any help.”

Cas hung up and sighed. He finished his coffee and walked back into the living room.

“Do you want to call Bobby again?”

Dean paused Star Wars again and Cas handed him the phone.

Dean dialled and put the phone to his ear.

“Bobby, it’s Dean again. Can you call me back?”

Dean let his head fall back and sighed.

“No answer?”

“No.”

This pattern continued for the next few days. Cas called and Garth gave him some time off after Cas told him there was a ‘family emergency’. Dean called Bobby every day but there was no answer. Dean and Cas didn’t talk too much.

The day after they discovered John and Sam were gone, Cas awkwardly asked Dean if he wanted to get tested for STDs. Dean blushed furiously but agreed that it would be the best thing to do.

They went together, Dean asked Cas if he would wait in the waiting room for him. Cas agreed and sat until Dean came out. Thankfully, the results came back negative.

Dean had nightmares every night and when he woke up he and Cas would talk. Usually just about family and meaningless things. Cas learned that Sam was sixteen and wanted to be a lawyer. He also learned that Dean wanted to be a mechanic.

“Dean, obviously Bobby isn’t going to pick up. Do you know his address?”

“Why?”

“We should just drive to him. At least there he will have to speak to you.”

“You’d be willing to drive that far?”

“I told you that I would get you back to your brother.”

So, the next day, Dean and Cas got into Cas’ shitty car and started the long drive. They only packed enough clothes for a week. Cas had some of Gabe’s t-shirts that he gave to Dean. He was wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt on the first day.

“I’ve never listened to Led Zeppelin,” Cas admitted to Dean.

“Dude, they are the best band ever. This is my favourite song, just listen.” Cas gave Dean his phone and Dean played some music.

“I like it,” Cas said once it was finished.

Dean played more songs and sang the whole way.

Eventually, they had to stop and check-in at a motel.

“A room with two beds for one night please,” Cas asked the young woman at the front desk.

“We only have one room with one bed available at this time.”

Cas looked at the time, it was already 1 am and he really didn’t feel like driving any more.

“We’ll have it.”

“Are you sure? It only has one bed.” She repeated.

“Yes, we’ll have it.”

Dean knew both he and Cas were tired so didn’t say anything. The woman charged them before giving Cas the key.

“Have a nice night.” She smiled at them. Dean nodded at her.

Between them, they only had a backpack. It only had their clothes for the next day and toiletries.

Dean got to brushing his teeth. He was too tired to have a shower, he planned to have one in the morning. He brought his borrowed pyjamas with him. He put more antiseptic cream on his hole. It was starting to heal and felt better than it had done a few days ago. He changed into the pyjamas. After Dean was done with the bathroom, Cas went in and had a shower.

Dean crawled in the bed. It was a double bed so there could be some space between them. Cas came out of the bathroom wearing just a towel around his waist.

“Sorry, I forgot my clothes,” Cas said as he walked across the small room.

Dean had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping.

Cas was more muscular than Dean had expected. However, what really surprised Dean was the tattoo of angel wings that stretched across Cas’ chest. Dean tried not to trace Cas’ Adonis belt with his eyes but failed. It was only faintly there but it was there. Even his back was muscular. It also had a tattoo on it, it looked like a quote but Dean couldn’t see what it said.

Shit, Dean hadn’t been this attracted to someone since… well ever. Sure, there was Lisa but Dean liked her based solely on teenage lust.

Cas was different. Dean was attracted to him, sure but he also liked other things about Cas. He liked that he would talk to him after having nightmares and he didn’t ask about them. He didn’t ask about what happened and didn’t prod for answers. He helped Dean when he could’ve just left him to die. Right fucking now, they were in a motel because Cas was helping Dean find his brother and dad.

Cas came out a few minutes later, fully clothed. Dean felt an odd sense of loss at not being able to see Cas’ angel wings.

“I can sleep on the floor if it would make you more comfortable.” Cas offered.

Another reason to like Cas, he wanted to make sure Dean was comfortable.

“Cas, don’t be ridiculous. It’s late, just sleep here.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Cas, I swear to god just get in the bed.”

Without another word, Cas lifted the covers on his side and crawled in.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”

Dean faced the wall and Cas faced the opposite. They both knew neither was going to fall asleep in this position.

Dean turned so he was facing Cas.

Cas shifted and faced Dean.

Dean looked down at the sheets and wished he could see the wings again.

Cas was looking into Dean’s eyes. Dean felt the electricity running between them.

“Can I see the wings?” It slipped out but he couldn’t take it back now.

Cas looked surprised but sat up nonetheless. He pulled his shirt off and then moved so he was lying back down. Dean was enamoured by it.

“Can I touch you?” Dean whispered.

“Yes.” Cas rumbled out, his deep voice calming.

Dean almost reverently touched the tip of the wings.

“Cas, this is amazing.”

Dean moved his hands all across Cas’ chest. He inhaled sharply when one of Dean’s hands ran over one of his nipples.

Dean had moved closer to Cas subconsciously and now his whole body was only millimetres away from Cas.

He reached up and touched Cas’ stubbly chin, moving up to his cheek.

“Is this ok?” He whispered, scared of ruining the moment but needing to know if he was breaking any boundaries. Cas gulped and nodded.

Dean moved further up the bed. His thumb traced Castiel’s nose and eventually, his lips.

“Can I kiss you, Dean?” Castiel asked, looking into Dean’s forest coloured eyes. Instead of answering, Dean leaned up and closed the distance.

All the nervous energy Dean was holding melted away when his lips met Cas’. Cas’ hand ran up and grabbed the back of Dean’s neck. They continued to make-out. Eventually, they broke apart, Dean’s forehead falling against Cas’. They looked deeply into each other's eyes.

“Can I hold you?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded and moved so he was lying on Cas’ bare chest. His head resting over where his thundering heartbeat was.

It was awkward for a fraction of a second before Cas gently wound his arms around Dean, mindful of all the bruises. Dean relaxed and wrapped his leg around one of Cas’.

“Thank you, Cas.”

Cas knew what Dean was thanking him for. He was being thanked for everything. For picking Dean up, being patient and for trying to reunite Dean with his brother along with everything else he had done.

Cas moved his hand and started running his hand through Dean’s hair.

Dean closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh.

Chapter Text

Dean woke up first, surprised that it was the morning. He hadn’t had any nightmares which was a pleasant surprise.

His face was in the crook of Cas’ neck, Cas’ hands were across Dean’s torso.

Dean took advantage of the fact he was the only one awake. He moved his head back slightly and studied Castiel’s face. His hair was messy but it suited him perfectly. His lips were perfect and full and his face was slightly unshaven. Dean reached up and brushed his hand across Cas’ chin.

Eventually, Cas started to rouse. He yawned and wound his arms around Dean

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas greeted in his gravelly morning voice.

“Morning, Cas.”

Dean got up to have a shower while Cas checked the news on his phone.

Dean looked at himself after he got out of the shower and noticed how the bruises were fading and now had a yellowy-green hue. His hole was still slightly tender but nothing close to how bad it was. The cut on his forehead was also healing very well.

Dean thought about himself and Cas as he got dressed and brushed his hair and teeth. He could feel a shift in their relationship. There was something between them, something Dean wanted to explore.

Cas tried to focus on the news but his and Dean’s relationship was really the only thing he could focus on. He had feelings for Dean but he didn’t want to come on too strong and scare him away after what he had already been through.

Dean came out of the bathroom fully dressed, Cas went in after him and also got dressed. They put everything back in the backpack and checked out.

Cas drove them to a diner nearby. Dean commented on Cas’ choice of car and he laughed at the face Cas pulled when he called it ‘A Pimpmobile’.

After they finished breakfast, they continued driving to Bobby’s. They were only 4 hours away. Dean and Cas felt a lot more comfortable around each other after the previous night. Dean was playing all his favourite songs and Cas smiled softly at how happy and carefree Dean looked as he sang along.

Dean had to give Cas directions when they got closer. Cas could tell it was a salvage yard. There were many cars all around, in various states of disrepair.

Cas parked the car. Dean didn’t get out.

“Dean?” Cas looked over at him and saw him nervously bouncing his leg.

“What if… what if he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Dean…”

“Maybe he has been ignoring me on purpose.”

“Dean. He probably has a good excuse. We drove all this way, we need to find Sam and Bobby can help us.”

“You’re right, Cas.” He put his hand on top of Cas’, “Thank you. Now let's do this.”

They shared a smile before they got out. Cas followed slightly behind Dean as they walked up to the front door. Dean looked back and Cas nodded in encouragement before he knocked.

Dean held his breath and waited. Just when he was about to turn around, he heard the sound of a door being unlocked. It was Ellen.

“Hi, Ellen.”

“Dean! What are you doing here?” She grabbed him in a fierce hug that only a mother figure could give. Dean had made sure that Ellen couldn't see the bruise on his neck.

“Oh, who is this?” She asked when she noticed Castiel.

“This is Castiel. Castiel, this is my aunt Ellen.”

“Nice to meet you, Ellen.”

“Nice to meet you too, Castiel.” She moved to shake his hand.

“Now, why don’t you two come in and tell me why you’re here.”

She looks around before adding, “And why Sam isn’t with you.”

She ushered them in and told them to sit down, “Just give me a minute.”

She walked out, calling for Bobby and Jo.

“She seems nice,” Cas said, trying to lessen Dean's anxiety.

“She is my mother figure. After mom died and dad was a wreck he gave us to Bobby and Ellen for a while. She makes killer pie as well.”

Bobby and Jo came in following Ellen. They both had car oil on their faces.

“Bobby, Jo, this is Dean’s friend, Cas.” Cas nodded.

“Cas this is Bobby and Jo.” They both nodded at him in return.

“Dean, you idjit, why didn’t you phone, tell us you were coming,” Bobby said as he grabbed Dean in a hug.

Dean pulled back, “Bobby, I did call you.”

"On my new number?"

"You got a new number?"

Bobby, Jo and Ellen exchanged a look, "Dean, I think we need to sit down and you need to tell us what happened."

They all sat down at the table, "I have a feeling we will need something stronger than coffee," Ellen said as she passed everyone a beer.

"Why isn't Sam here?" Ellen asked, jumping right in.

"Dad came home four days later than he said he would. When he came back I shouted at him because he was drunk off his ass and I had to... steal food. I said that I wished he died instead of mom and he should leave and never come back because we would be better off without him. Then he got really mad, worse than I have ever seen him before."

Dean let out a shaky breath, he was looking at the beer bottle and peeling at the label. He took a swig before continuing. Cas subconsciously moved his chair closer to Dean's.

"He... didn't say anything and grabbed me by the arm. I followed him out and he told me to get in the car. I did and he drove me to the centre of town. He didn't say anything. I literally only had the clothes on my back. He kicked me out and told me he never wanted to see me again. He drove off. It was around 11 pm. I..."

He choked back a sob. Cas reached over and Dean clutched his hand.

"I... there were five men. They... I tried to fight them off. I thought I was going to die."

Cas squeezed his hand, trying to be supportive. Dean took another swig of his beer.

"After, they just left me. I passed out. Next thing I know, I was in a room, Cas cleaning the cut on my head. I tried calling you but you never picked up, I left voicemails. Cas drove me here. I would probably be dead without him."

Dean looked over at Cas and Cas rubbed his thumb over the back of Dean's hand.

"Dean..." Jo had tears streaming down her face.

"Cas drove me to the flat we were renting but they weren't there. They had just left. That's when Cas suggested we come here to see if you knew anything."

Bobby hesitated before telling Dean, "Dean, John told me to change my number. Something about 'scammers'. He assured me you had my new number."

"Son of a bitch!" Dean stood up and smacked the table, "I knew it! He wanted me to die."

He turned around and marched out, the next thing they heard was the sound of the house door slamming.

Cas started to get up, "I'll..."

Bobby put a hand on his shoulder, "Let me handle this."

Cas nodded and Bobby walked out the same way Dean had seconds before.

"Thank you, Castiel." Ellen reached over the table and patted his hand.

"He was in terrible condition when I found him. He hasn't talked about it. I don't want to think about what would've happened to him if I hadn't found him."

"Why are you doing all this?" Jo asked him, not quite trusting Castiel, she didn't know his motives after all.

"Honestly, at first I thought I would take him home, clean him up and then take him back to his house and that would be the end of it. As soon as he woke up and started speaking, I knew that wasn't going to happen. That night, he had a nightmare. I woke up and ran into the guest room, where he was staying. He talked to me about Sam and his father and I told him about my family. We talked every night when Dean would wake up from the nightmares. I realised that I wanted to help him. I know how he feels about his brother, I feel the same about mine. I knew I would do anything to make sure he got Sam back."

"You like him," Jo stated.

Cas spluttered and blushed, "What?"

She rolled her eyes, "You don't exactly try to hide it. Look, I was suspicious when you showed up with Dean. But then he told us what happened. You helped him when you didn't have to. He trusts you, I can tell from the way he grabbed your hand. I don't know what is going on between you but I do know that I am ok with it."

Cas didn't know what to say. He hadn't known Jo for two minutes and now he was getting her… blessing?

"You're head over heels for Dean," Ellen said, agreeing with her daughter.

Dean was unbelievably angry. He knew his dad was cruel but he never thought he would leave his son to die.

"Son of a bitch!" He kicked one of the cars that were closest to him, it was one Bobby was fixing up. It was in very bad condition.

"He wanted me to die!" He kicked the car again.

He looked around wildly and saw a crowbar on the ground. He picked it up. Anger compelled him to swing it at the car. One of the windows smashed. He continued swinging at it until his arms started to burn and his vision started to blur with the unspilled tears.

"Fuck!" He threw the crowbar down and crumbled to the ground. He put his head between his knees and absolutely did not cry. He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and immediately knew it was Bobby.

He heard the sound of him shuffling and then Bobby was sitting beside him. Bobby didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I should've been there for you and Sam."

"It's not your fault, Bobby."

Bobby sighed, "Yes, it is. I could've prevented all this. I know John isn't the best father. A few years ago, that time John was really bad, I asked him if I could adopt you both. He said no... I should've fought him on it more."

"I didn't know that. Would you really adopt us?"

"Of course, you idjit. I practically raised you, Sam and Jo, love you all like my own, too."

"I'm sorry, Bobby," Dean whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Dean." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Do you think I should press charges?” It was a thought that Dean didn’t want to address but knew it needed to be asked.

Bobby sighed, “I think that would be the best idea.”

“When?”

“It’s probably best to wait until we get your brother back.”

Dean agreed it was the best idea. They sat in heavy silence for a few more minutes before they got up.

Forgoing walking back in straight away, they walked around the salvage yard.

“What’s happening between you and Cas?” Bobby asked him.

Bobby knew Dean was bi. Dean had come out to him, Ellen, Jo and Sammy in highschool. They were all very supportive for which Dean was unbelievably thankful for. He hadn’t told his dad, Dean knew that he wouldn’t take it well.

Dean sighed, “I don’t know, Bobby. I really like him but...What if he is just doing all this because he feels bad for me, not because he actually cares?”

“He seems to like you, Dean.”

“I don’t know.”

They talked about the salvage yard and how Bobby needs another mechanic.

“You know, if you need a job, I could hire you.”

“I’ll have to think about it, I don’t know what is going to happen after we get Sam back.”

They got back to the house and walked in. Cas was talking to Jo and Ellen about his job. When Cas heard them walk back in he turned around.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah.” Dean took his seat beside Cas again and interlaced their fingers. Cas looked over and smiled softly at Dean.

“I think it’s time for lunch. Dean, you set the table. Jo, Bobby, you two need to get cleaned up. Castiel, can you help me in the kitchen?”

“Yes, Ellen.” Bobby and Dean all said at the same time. Jo and Cas laughed while Ellen smiled and rolled her eyes fondly.

Cas followed Ellen into the kitchen. She passed him some tomatoes to cut.

“So, Castiel, you said you had a brother?”

“Yes, he owns a coffee shop back home. I’m really close to him. I also have another brother, I don’t get to see him that often as he lives in Washington with his wife and girls.”

He felt compelled to also tell her about the rest of his family. Ellen was shocked and gave him a hug,

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Cas shrugged non committedly, “It’s in the past now.”

They finished lunch together and brought it through to the dining room.

Jo, Bobby and Dean had just finished setting the table.

Everyone started eating. The meal went by with comfortable conversation.

Afterwards, they sat and talked about what they were going to do about Sam.

“Well, firstly we actually need to know where they are,” Dean said, wringing his hands subconsciously.

“Is there any way we could track them down?” Cas asked, putting one of his hands over Dean’s so he would stop wringing them.

“Actually, yes. I put a tracker in the back of the Impala.” Jo admitted.

“What?” Dean and Ellen questioned at the same time.

“John doesn’t keep in touch, we needed to have a way to know where you were at all times,” Bobby explained for Jo. She had told him when she did it.

“That’s actually… really smart.” Dean had to give Jo credit.

“I’ll get my laptop,” Jo said as she got up.

“So then what do we do after that?” Ellen questioned.

“We’ll have to go after them.”

“Cas, can you take more time off of your job?” Jo asked. She had just gotten back and was switching the laptop on.

Cas nodded, “I can ask for more time off. I’ve never taken time off so I think they’ll understand.”

“Got it, they last stopped for longer than an hour in Toledo, Ohio. That’s approximately twelve and a half hours away. They’ve been moving all over Ohio but they were in Toledo the longest. There is a motel there.”

“Dad really wanted to get away,” Dean said bitterly.

“Jo and I can’t come. We have to keep this place up and running.” Ellen told everyone. Jo nodded.

“We will be back within the week if we leave tomorrow,” Bobby said.

“What are we going to do when we get there?” Cas asked, thinking practically.

“I have papers. They hand Sam’s guardianship over to Ellen and me. All we need is to get John to sign. Then when we get back, we can take it to court and we can adopt Sam.”

“Is that OK with you, Dean?” Ellen asked.

“Yes, I want Sammy to be safe. It’s not fair that he has to keep moving, he needs a stable home life. He always complains when we have to move. Sammy’s also pretty serious about the whole school thing.” Dean said, wisely.

“I can make up the spare room for you two. There is only one double bed, I assume that is ok for you both?” Ellen asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Ellen!” Dean whined, red-faced.

Ellen headed upstairs, laughing.

“Well, we better go back out.” Bobby excused himself as he stood up.

“I’m going to get the stuff from the car,” Cas told Dean as he moved to the front door.

Dean decided to go upstairs. Ellen was putting the new sheets on. It was the room Dean and Sam would stay in when he came to visit. John would sleep on the couch and Sam would get to sleep on the floor on the spare mattress.

“Are you OK with sleeping in the same bed?” Ellen asked she didn’t want Dean to be uncomfortable because he felt pressured to say he was OK.

“Yes, I’m fine with it.” Dean rolled his eyes but smiled. The appreciation he felt for her was overwhelming. He was glad he had Ellen as his mother figure.

Cas came up the stairs, he didn’t know where to go so was relieved when Dean came out of one of the rooms.

“This was your room?” Cas asked as he looked around the room. It was pretty bare but it did have a few Led Zeppelin, Metallica and Lynyrd Skynyrd posters on the wall.

“Yeah. I’m gonna go outside with Jo and Bobby. Is Ash around?” Dean directed the question towards Ellen.

“He’s around here somewhere,” Ellen replied.

“Cas, do you wanna help me? I’m going into town for food for the grill.”

“Yes, of course.”

Dean walked outside and located Bobby and Jo. Bobby was talking to a customer and Jo was taking a wheel off.

“You need any help?” Dean asked Jo.

“No, I’m fine. Can you work on that one,” She gestured to the car behind her with her head.

Dean readily got to fixing the car. He was in his element, working on a car, sometimes chatting idly with Jo or Bobby. Ash came out, leaned on the car Dean was working on and talked to him too.

It was another few hours before Cas and Ellen got back to the house. They went food shopping and then also went to a thrift shop. Ellen got Bobby a new shirt and Jo a new pair of shoes.

Cas was searching through the men's section but he wasn’t exactly looking for anything. He was about to leave when something caught his eye. It was a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. He practically ran back towards it. As he took it off the rack, he saw there was a Metallica t-shirt behind it and a Lynyrd Skynyrd one behind that. Cas had stopped believing in God or a higher power years ago, this thought was one of those little things that life does. You don’t question it or how everything aligns so perfectly you just smile and appreciate it.

He picked the three t-shirts up and walked to the till. They were a steal.

“Get anything interestin’?” Ellen asked as they walked to her car.

“I got three t-shirts for Dean.” Ellen lifted an eyebrow and smirked.

“What?” Cas asked as he tried to busy himself putting the shirts in the car.

“You are smitten’.”

Cas fought the blush that threatened to envelop his entire face.

When they got back, Cas went upstairs and put the t-shirts on the bed he was sharing with Dean. Ellen went to get started on dinner.

Cas’ phone vibrated as he started down the stairs. He answered it without hesitation, there was only one person it could be at this time.

“Gabe?”

“Who else would it be? Did you get there safely?” Gabe joked around a lot but he cared deeply for Cas.

“Yes. Dean’s uncle, aunt and cousin are all here. He told them everything and we have made a plan to get Sam back. We are leaving tomorrow and heading over to Ohio. There is a tracker in Dean’s father's car, Jo used it to track their exact location.”

“She seems like a smart cookie.”

“She definitely is.”

“What are you doing now?”

“Well, I just got back from shopping with Ellen, Dean’s aunt. I got three t-shirts for Dean.”

“Ooooh, new t-shirts.”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes even though his brother couldn’t see, “I don’t know why I talk to you.”

“What do you mean? I am the best part of your day!”

“Hmm. What are you doing?”

“Nothing much. Kali is around so I will have to go soon. We are spending time together… if you know what I mean.” Cas could practically feel Gabe’s eyebrows through the phone.

“Gabe, I really didn’t need to know that.”

“What can’t handle the fact your brother has a better sex life than you? Or has that changed because of Deanoooooooo?”

“Goodbye, Gabe.”

“Talk to you later, Cassie! If I’m not too preoccupied, that is!” Gabe made kissing noises down the phone, “Love youuuuuuuuu.”

Cas hung up the phone before he could be deafened by Gabriel.

By the time Cas got back downstairs, Ellen had put away all the shopping.

“I’m gonna bring the boys a beer, you wanna come with me?” Ellen asked as she took four beers out of the refrigerator.

“Four?”

“One for Ash, he is the computer expert around here. He does odd jobs all around the town. We hire him to do the invoices and make sure the computer is working. Jo met him a couple of years ago and they're a couple. He is around here pretty much every week.”

Dean started to get uncomfortable, the heat was making him sweat and his t-shirt started to stick to his back. Without thinking, he took his t-shirt off, like he normally would.

He froze when he heard a gasp from behind him. He looked down and suddenly remembered the bruises. They had started to fade but they were still blotchy.

“Shit.” He muttered and picked up his t-shirt. He quickly put it over his head.

“Dean…” Jo started saying but Dean cut him off.

“Leave it, Jo.”

He turned and stormed back towards the house. He yanked the door open and nearly walked straight into Cas.

“Dean?”

Dean shoved past him and Ellen, ignoring them both as they called after him.

He walked straight into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Ellen and Cas exchanged a look, she nodded and Cas passed her the bottles he was holding. Ellen went outside to see what happened while Cas went to check on Dean.

“Dean?” Cas knocked on the bedroom door.

No answer.

“Dean? Please answer me.” He sighed and rested his head on the door.

“Leave me alone, Cas. I don’t need your fucking pity.”

“Dean, please let me in.”

Cas was about to walk away when he heard the sound of the door unlocking. Dean opened it and motioned for Cas to come in.

Cas walked in, “Dean, what happened?”

Dean told Cas all of what happened, he ended up sobbing.

Cas strode forward and enveloped Dean in a hug, he rubbed a hand up his back and ran the other through his hair.

“I’m sorry, Cas.”

“What for?”

He mumbled his response into Cas’ shirt, “I met you a week ago and now I’m sobbing on your shoulder. You probably want to just go back to your home and not spend your time with a fuck up like me.”

“You’re not a fuck up, Dean.” Cas kept soothing him until he stopped sobbing.

“Thanks, Cas. I’m going to go for a shower.” Dean didn’t move away and stayed in Cas’ comforting embrace.

“OK, Ellen picked up some food for the grill.” Cas also didn’t make any move to let go of Dean.

Dean leaned forward and captured Cas’ lips.

“I bought you something,” Cas whispered. He let go of Dean and moved past him. Lifting up the shirts, he saw Dean’s eyes light up.

Dean felt warmness bloom in his chest. Cas had bought him three t-shirts. Not just any t-shirts, they were his favourite bands.

The look on Dean’s face was enough to assure Cas that the small gesture meant a lot.

Dean went for his shower shortly after that but not before giving Cas a thank you kiss.

Standing under the stream, Dean smiled, even though no one could see him. Most of his life was going to shit. His dad had left him to die, he didn’t know how Sam was and he was a mess. But despite all that, he had Cas, Cas who picked him up and cleaned him up. Cas, who was helping him find his brother even though he hardly knew him.

It was as Dean was drying off after his shower and he caught the small smile on his face that the realisation hit him. He was falling in love with Castiel Novak. Well, son of a bitch.

Chapter Text

Cas went downstairs and was met with four concerned faces. Bobby was on the grill, Jo and Ash were sitting on the stairs and Ellen was standing beside Bobby.

“How is he?” Jo asked she had tear tracks down her cheeks. A man, who Cas assumed was Ash, had one of his arms around her shoulders.

“He didn’t mean to snap at you, Jo. He is going for a shower now, he should be down in a bit.”

No one noticed when Dean came downstairs. He quickly put his towel and his dirty clothes along with the t-shirts Cas bought him into the washing machine. Dean took this opportunity where no one noticed him to silently observe everyone.

Cas was listening to Bobby telling him how to ‘properly’ grill burgers. Jo was helping Ellen put all the plates out. Ash was drinking a beer and talking to Jo about computers. It was amazing how seamlessly Cas blended in. It was like he had always been there, a part of Dean’s weird family dynamic. Dean could’ve, should’ve been scared. He had met this man just over a week ago and now he was thinking about how well he fitted in with his family. Well, this wasn’t his whole family, Sammy was missing.

At the thought of Sammy, guilt washed over him. He should’ve just left instead of waiting for dad to come back. He could’ve scrounged up enough money to get bus tickets for both of them. He could’ve done a lot better for Sammy.

He pushed those thoughts aside and made his presence known.

Cas was the first person that whipped his head around. He tilted his head to the side questioningly and when Dean nodded, he relaxed and smiled.

Nobody mentioned what had happened. Bobby let Dean take over showing Cas what to do. They finished cooking the burgers and served them.

They kept the conversation light throughout the meal.

Jo, Dean and Ash started washing and drying all the dirty dishes while Bobby and Ellen took the washing they had put out earlier back inside.

Cas decided to take this time to text Balthazar. He was probably busy but Cas knew he would eventually reply. Cas gave him a quick overview of everything that had happened since they had last spoken. He had already told Balth about Dean so just needed to tell him that they had gotten to Bobby’s safely. Balth didn’t respond, as expected, so Cas put his phone back in his pocket.

He decided to help with Dean drying the dishes. They stood closer together than strictly necessary.

The rest of the night went by swiftly. Dean and Cas went up to their room at around 9 pm, they were both exhausted.

Cas took his shirt off and was left in just his boxers. Dean hesitantly did the same and crawled into the other side.

Cas held him much like the previous night, however, instead of falling asleep, they were both wide awake.

“I miss Sammy,” Dean admitted. Cas didn’t reply but held Dean tighter in silent support.

“This is actually the longest we’ve been away from each other. We see each other at least every other day. I can’t help thinking I could’ve done more. I mean, fuck, I’m a 23-year-old who can’t even get himself a part-time job. I should’ve gotten money somehow and just got away from dad,” He let out a hollow laugh, “He probably wouldn’t have even realised we were gone.”

“You did the best you could.”

“I just wish mom was still alive. Sammy doesn’t remember her very much but I do. I remember how dad was before her death. Sam has only known the dad that is an alcoholic, not a caring father like he was when mom was still alive.”

Dean didn’t cry. Cas just held Dean and they lay in their own silent thoughts.

Cas’ hands skimmed up the side of Dean’s ribs and Dean let out an involuntary shiver.

“Cas?”

“Hmm.”

Dean hesitated before asking, “What is this, between us?”

Cas’ hand stopped moving and Dean started berating himself for asking. Everything between them had been ruined. He braced himself for the upcoming rejection.

“What do you want it to be?” Cas asked, catching Dean off guard.

“Um, well… I like you Cas.” Dean gathered enough courage to admit.

“I like you too, Dean.”

“So…?” Dean prodded, he couldn’t help it, he had to know.

“Would your family be ok with it?” Cas asked, he had to tread carefully, he didn’t want anything between them to shatter because he said something stupid.

“Oh…” So that was all Cas was worried about…. Oh. “I’m bi, Cas. They all know.”

“Oh, well... So, what do you want to call this thing between us?”

“Boyfriends?” Dean practically whispered into Cas’ shoulder.

Cas’ chuckle filled Dean with warmth.

“Boyfriends sounds good.”

They woke up early and Cas had a shower. Dean got dressed and wore one of the t-shirts Cas bought him. They re-packed the backpack with spare clothes and their toiletries.

It was only 9 am when they left. Ellen packed some food so they wouldn’t get hungry.

Bobby drove and Dean was in the passenger seat.

Bobby must’ve noticed the not so subtle glances Dean and Cas were giving each other.

“You two actin’ like a pair of lovesick teenagers.”

Dean blushed but smiled nonetheless.

They stopped at a motel for the night. Bobby got a separate room from Dean and Cas.

“What if Sam is angry with me?” Dean voiced the thing he was most worried about.

“Dean, I think he’ll just be glad that you’re there.”

Cas always knew just what to say. Yet another reason for Dean to fall in love with him.

They woke up and went to a greasy diner for breakfast. They were only around four hours away and wanted to get there as soon as possible.

They followed Jo’s instructions and it led them to a motel, how John-like.

Cas was driving and so parked in the shitty parking lot.

Bobby and Dean looked around but couldn’t see the Impala. It put Dean more on edge than he would like to admit.

“We should ask at reception.” Cas sensibly suggested.

Dean just nodded and got out.

The three of them walked into the reception together.

“Hello, we were wondering if a man and a teenage boy checked in here a few days ago?” Bobby asked.

“I can’t tell you that.” The teenage girl behind the desk was painting her nails and didn’t look up.

“We really need to know. Could you please tell us?” Cas asked her.

“I already told you, I can’t tell you that.”

Dean was practically vibrating with pent up anxiety.

“We reall…” Cas was cut off by the girl,

“I. Cannot. Tell. You. That. Information.” She rolled her eyes but jumped when Dean slammed his hands on the desk.

“Can you please tell us if a man and a tall teenage boy and a man checked in a few days ago?”

The nail polish she was using had spilt onto the floor. She quickly told Dean that a man and teenage boy checked into room 115 before ducking down to pick up the nail polish.

“Thank you.” Dean barely managed to say before he turned and made a beeline to room 115.

When they got there they saw paint was peeling off of the door and one of the letters was about to fall off.

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Dean squeezed back and raised his hand to knock.

It must have only been ten seconds before the door opened but to Dean, as cliché as it sounded, it felt like years.

Sam opened the door a fraction. When he saw it was Dean he flung it wide open.

Dean caught Sam as he flew into his arms.

Knowing Sam was safe brought tears to Dean’s eyes. He had probably cried more in the past fortnight than he had in his entire life.

“Sammy,” Dean mumbled into his shoulder. His brother was sixteen and pretty much the same height as Dean himself.

It was another few minutes before they let go of each other. Dean’s t-shirt had gotten wet from the tears coming from Sam’s eyes.

When Sam moved his head from Dean’s shoulder, he saw Bobby and gave him a hug too.

“Let’s go in so we can talk.”

Sam guided them in. It was a standard motel room.

Sam sat down on his bed and Bobby pulled over one of the seats. Dean and Cas sat on the other bed facing Sam.

Sam had been so concentrated on seeing his brother again he hadn’t even noticed Cas.

“Um, who are you?”

“Sam, this is Cas. My boyfriend.” Cas felt a flutter in his chest at Dean referring to him as his boyfriend.

“Boyfriend?”

“We have to catch up on a lot,” Dean said.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Dean filling Sam in on what had happened.

Sam told Dean, Bobby and Cas everything that had happened.

When John had gotten back, he had shouted at Sam and told him to get in the car. John drove until they got to a random parking lot. They spent the night there and when John woke up, they drove non-stop to Ohio. He gave Sam $20 to spend on food. He rented the room out for a month and then just left.

“$20? For how long?”

“It’s been like two weeks? He hasn’t been back since. I tried calling you, Bobby, I went down to reception and used the phone there but there was no answer. I obviously know why now.”

“Sammy, you’re coming with us. We can’t leave you here.”

“Let me get my stuff.”

It took approximately two minutes for Sam to gather all his stuff.

“Should we leave a note for dad?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, do you have a piece of paper and a pen?”

Sam passed Dean both of those things and they waited a few minutes for Dean to write the note. He put the note on the TV, where John was guaranteed to see it.

They all got into Bobby’s car. Dean and Bobby were in the front and Sam and Cas were in the back.

Sam was exhausted and so fell asleep pretty quickly, he barely slept as he was too anxious about where Dean and dad were.

They stopped at a drive-thru and got some food, ate it and then kept driving.

By the time they got to a motel, it was 2 am and they only had 4 hours to drive in the morning.

Dean practically passed out when he got into the room. Cas helped him get down to just his boxers and tucked him into bed.

Cas had to call his boss in the morning. He had been off of work for nearly 3 weeks. His boss was understanding but Cas knew he was pushing it.

He sighed and crawled into the other side of the bed after stripping down.

Dean tiredly reached back for Cas’ hand and interlocked their fingers before pulling Cas closer to him. They ended up spooning. One of Cas’ legs covering Deans and Dean’s back to Cas’ front.

They woke up and Cas went for a shower. When Cas came back into the room, he had just a towel around his waist and Dean was pulling his shirt over his head.

Dean turned around and walked towards Cas. He put his hands on Cas’ wings.

“I like these,” Dean said as he traced them.

“I like these.” Cas traced the faint freckles that were splattered across Dean’s nose.

“I like these.” Dean traced Cas’ lips.

“I like these, too.” Cas traced Dean’s lips with the pad of his thumb before he leaned in for a gentle kiss.

Cas got dressed shortly after and they met Bobby and Sam in the diner next door.

Cas’ breakfast just arrived when his phone started ringing. He looked down at the screen, Garth.

“Excuse me, I have to take this.”

He got up and walked outside.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Castiel. I was just wondering when you will be back. I am aware there is a family emergency but I do have to tell you that it is coming up to two and a half weeks when I have heard nothing from you regarding when you will be back at work.”

“Yes, Garth, I was actually going to call you later. Right now I am in Ohio, however, I will be able to get back to work on Monday, Tuesday at the latest.”

“Are you sure, Castiel?”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“OK, well, in that case, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Goodbye.”

Cas sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. He would have to buy Dean and probably Sam a phone so they could keep in contact.

He walked back into the diner.

“Who was it?” Dean asked as he slid into the booth beside him.

“It was my boss, Garth. I...” He sighed, “I need to be back at work by Monday.”

“By Monday? Today’s Friday.”

“I know. We’ll probably get back sometime later today. I will probably be able to spend a few hours there and then I’ll have to head home later tonight.”

“So you're just going to leave?” Dean was getting more and more upset by the moment. He knew he was being irrational but what if Cas just wanted to leave him. Fuck, he probably did just want to leave. Dean knew he was acting too close to Cas. It was all his fault, he completely ruined their relationship.

“Dean, don’t worry. I’ll get you a phone and give you my number, that way we can be in contact.”

“OK.” Dean went back to eating but he had a niggling doubt in his mind that Cas just wanted to get away from him.

They all piled into the car once they had finished breakfast. The drive was only four hours so they got back to Bobby’s place quickly.

Jo, Ash and Ellen were at the front of the house to greet them.

Sam jogged over to Ellen and she hugged him and kissed all over his head.

"Ellen!"

"Hush up. We were so worried about you." Sam rolled his eyes but didn't resist being hugged. He also practically got tackled by Jo,

"I missed you, Sammy."

Ash also gave him a hug, "I'm glad you're safe, man."

Watching Sam being embraced by his family made Cas feel an odd sense of longing. He never had a family like that. He had absolutely no memory of his mom hugging him past the age of three and no memory of his father ever hugging him.

Dean and Bobby had made their way over to Sam and Cas stayed awkwardly standing beside the car feeling out of place.

That was until Dean walked over,

"You ok, man?" He moved so he was leaning against the car beside him.

"Yes. I was just thinking about how I'll have to get back on the road soon."

Dean frowned and scuffed his heel against the ground,

"I don't want you to go but I know you have to." He mumbled. Cas had to strain his ears to hear the confession.

“I’ll get you a phone and give you my number. I know what you’re thinking Dean, I am not making an excuse. I don’t want to leave.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I promise.”

Dean smiled at Cas.

“You two coming in?” Ellen asked as they all walked in.

They walked in together. Cas excused himself to pack his bag. He didn’t really have to but he wanted to give the family downstairs some time by themselves.

Cas went downstairs quietly and put his bag into his car.

He walked back inside and told everyone that he was going to buy a few things.

“Do you know where to go?” Dean asked.

“I’ll find my way around.”

“See you soon Cas, lunch will be ready in an hour and a bit,” Ellen told him.

Cas nodded and got in his car. His phone was playing Led Zeppelin. He didn’t try to change it, it reminded him of Dean and that made him smile.

He found his way into the town and found a best buy. He didn’t want to buy Dean a cheap phone so he ended up getting him the same one he had. He also got Sam a phone, a model behind the one he had.

He knew Dean would say something about spending so much money on him. Dean really didn’t know how much money Cas had. Sometimes Gabe questioned why he worked as a teacher when really he didn’t need to work at all. But he didn’t want to just live on his parent’s money. He wanted to do something for the community and wanted to show his parents and brothers that he didn’t need them.

He got back in his car and saw he had gotten a few texts from Balth, Gabe and Charlie, a friend.

Bath just said that he was glad that they got there safely. He also sent a picture of Cas’ nieces. They were growing quickly, it felt like only a few months ago that they were newborns. It was their third birthday in only a few months. Cas sent him a quick text and told him that they had found Sam and he was heading back home later tonight for work on Monday.

Gabe had texted and asked if they had found Sam. Cas contemplated calling him but decided to just text him instead.

Charlie had asked how he was doing. Cas spent a good ten minutes texting out a few paragraphs to summarise what had happened in the nearly three weeks Cas had been MIA.

He also set up Dean’s phone for him and put in his number. He also added Balth’s and Gabe’s number, just in case Dean couldn’t get a hold of him.

He left Sam’s phone in the box.

By the time he got back, lunch was just being put on the table. He kept both phones in a bag and hung the bag on the back of his seat.

“How long has it been since we had a family meal like this?” Ellen asked.

“Too long.”

It was odd that Ellen said that while he was still there. Cas obviously didn’t consider himself part of their family.

“Pie for dessert,” Ellen announced.

Dean’s face showed so much happiness. His favourite thing about Ellen was how she made pie.

“Cas, Ellen makes the best pie,” Sam told him.

“Sam, I know what you’re doing.” Ellen said as she walked in with the pie, “Sweet talking won’t get you a bigger slice.”

Sam crossed his arms and sighed but his smile showed that he wasn’t serious.

They ate the pie and Cas had to agree, it was the best pie he had ever eaten.

Cas had to leave shortly after. Ellen hugged Cas and made him promise that he wouldn’t be a stranger. Bobby shook his hand and thanked him for everything he had done. Ash gave him a fist bump. Jo hugged him gratefully and said that she hoped to see him again.

Cas gave Sam the phone he bought him.

“Wow, Cas, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I did. We don’t want you to go missing again. I trust you’ll figure out how to use it.”

“Of course I will Cas, a teenager here.” Cas laughed. Cas was startled when Sam gave him a hug but returned it nonetheless.

Next came Dean, the hardest goodbye.

“I got you this.” Cas passed Dean the phone he bought.

“Cas…”

“You do deserve it, Dean. And no, you cannot pay me back. It already has my number in it and I also put in Balth and Gabe’s in just in case.”

Dean smiled, “Thanks, Cas.”

“I’ll call you when I get home. I don’t know when I’ll be able to get back down here. It’ll probably be Christmas time.”

“OK, I can do that. That’s only a few weeks away.”

“I’ll call you when I can. Goodbye, Dean.”

“Bye, Cas.”

Cas enveloped Dean in a hug and when they broke apart, Cas kissed him.

“Ew, get a room.” Dean and Cas turned in time to see Sam get a slap on the back of the head by Ellen.

Cas laughed, “You’ll be ok here, won’t you?”

“I think I will.”

“Bye, Dean.” Cas pulled away and Dean watched as Cas climbed into his car. He clutched his phone tight to his chest and tried to hold in the tears. He kept watching until he couldn’t see Cas’ car.

“Come on, honey.” Ellen put her arm around his waist and they walked in together.

Dean did well, he managed to get up to his room before he let any tears escape.

Cas tried to not think about Dean, which was never going to work. When he got back he unlocked his house and grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard.

While he waited for it to heat up, he leaned against the island and took his phone out.

Cas: Just got back home, heating up some soup.

Dean was working on a car when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. His heart picked up the pace while he fished it out.

He read the text and smiled.

Dean: Soup, really? :P

Cas: What is wrong with soup?

Cas put his phone on the island and stirred the soup while waiting for a reply. He was pouring his soup into a bowl when he heard his phone vibrate.

Dean: Soup is for lonely or sick people.

Cas grimaced at the truth.

Cas: I am lonely.

Dean: Missing me?

Cas decided to respond with the truth.

Cas: Yes.

Dean’s heart sped up even more if that were possible.

Dean: I miss you too.

They ended up talking for a while longer until Dean reluctantly had to go.

Cas sighed and got to doing all the chores around the house. He threw all his clothes that he had taken with him in the wash and had a shower. After the shower, he went out shopping for groceries.

He spent the rest of the day trying to catch up on all the work he had missed. His classes would be so far behind but it didn’t really matter as it was Christmas in a few weeks anyway.

On Sunday, Cas called Gabe and asked if he wanted to come over. Gabe readily agreed and drove over.

Gabe toed his shoes off and walked straight to the cupboards where Cas kept all his candy.

“So, Cassie, tell me all about Deano.”

“What do you want to know?” Cas asked as he sat down.

“Is he hot?” Gabe asked as he turned around with a Hershey's bar.

“Gabe!” Cas blushed.

“What? You may be a prude but I’m not. Plus I'm strictly a vagina man.”

“I’m not a prude and also ‘vagina man’? Really?”

“Not one of my strongest statements but it’s true. I’m not trying to steal your man. Now answer the question.”

“I think I have a picture.” Dean had sent him a picture of him standing in front of a car he had fixed up. He was shirtless and holding a beer. All of the bruises had completely healed.

Cas showed Gabe the picture and Gabe let out a whistle.

“Well, I retract my previous statement. He is smokin’.”

“He is attractive.” Cas agreed.

They talked the rest of the day all about Dean and the three weeks Cas had been with him.

“Ellen was right,” Gabe commented when Cas had told him anything. Cas looked at him questioningly, “You’re in love.”

Cas would’ve tried to deny it but there was no point. He was definitely falling for Dean Winchester.

On Monday, Cas went back to work. He walked straight into the teacher’s lounge. He was there early so he got to the coffee first. Charlie was the second person in. When she saw Cas she gave him a massive hug.

“Cas! Wow, I can’t believe all that happened to you. Is Dean ok? Do you have a picture?”

Charlie was always enthusiastic but this was another level. He showed her a picture. He told her a bit about Dean but then he had to ask why she was so happy.

“Well… You know how I said I was thinking of asking Dorothy out?”

“Yes?”

“Well she agreed and we’ve been on three dates.”

Cas gossiped with Charlie about her kind of girlfriend until he had to get to his class.

School went by as it usually did. There were a few questions about where he had been but he just said that it was a family emergency.

At lunch, he sat in the teacher’s lounge and talked to Charlie. Azazel was also in the teacher’s lounge. Everyone seemed to like him but Charlie and Cas both agreed there was something decidedly off about him. For this reason, they tried to avoid him at all costs.

Cas and Charlie were getting up to walk back to their classes when Azazel walked over to talk to them.

“Castiel!” Azazel greeted enthusiastically.

“Azazel.” Cas nodded.

“So, where have you been?”

“Family emergency.”

“Really? Well, that seems a little odd as I saw your brother in the cafe.” Azazel’s tone of voice was sickly sweet and Cas saw right through the facade of fake friendliness.

“It was a family emergency that didn’t involve Gabe.” Cas started to walk past him but Azazel didn’t get the hint.

“I thought you said that Gabriel and Balthazar were your only family so I don’t know how you can have a ‘family emergency’ that doesn’t involve them.”

Cas was getting sick of Azazel always questioning him, “Honestly, Azazel, it is none of your business. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to class.”

“Oh, OK, see you around, Castiel.”

Cas didn’t bother being polite and just walked off with Charlie.

“What is his problem?”

Cas sighed, “I don’t know.” They kept walking until they had to part to get to their classrooms.

“Cya later, bitch!” Charlie waved as she walked off. Cas laughed and waved back.

The rest of the week continued as it normally would. Azazel hadn’t said anything else to Cas or Charlie but he kept giving Cas weird looks. Dean and Cas texted very often. Cas found that he would spend most of the time he wasn’t working texting Dean.

Dean had an eventful week.

After he had finished crying, he made his way outside and started working on a car.

After about ten minutes, Sam came to talk to him.

“What are we gonna do?” Sam asked. Dean was under a car and he rolled out from under it.

“What do you mean?” Dean wiped his face with a rag and sat up.

“I need to get back to school. You need to find a job. Are we just going to hope dad doesn’t find us?”

Dean sighed and leaned against the cool metal of the car. Sam sat down next to him.

“I have to talk to Bobby about you. Bobby also said he was short of a mechanic and that he would hire me.”

“And dad?”

“I don’t want to talk about dad.” The ire that Dean had felt towards his father had never been greater than at this moment.

Sam seemed to feel the anger and asked another question, “What about Cas? I mean, you said he was your boyfriend. Are you gonna do the whole long-distance thing or are you moving..?”

Dean’s heart sped up at just the mention of his name. He hadn’t thought about it before. He just answered it the same way he answered most questions he didn’t know the answer to at the moment,

“I think we’ll have to wait until all this shit is over with.”

Sam accepted that answer and left shortly after, he was going shopping with Ellen to get some new clothes. He grew out of clothes faster than you could buy them.

Dean smiled when he got a text from Cas. It soothed his irrational worries that Cas left because he didn’t want to talk to him.

After he finished talking to Cas, he went to help with dinner. After dinner, Dean, Bobby, Sam and Ellen sat down to talk about what was going to happen.

Sam agreed, after a lot of tears, that it would be best if Bobby adopted him. They decided to wait until John showed up. It was inevitable that it would happen. Bobby would talk to John and ask him to sign the papers if he didn’t sign them Bobby and Ellen would take him to court.

They also decided that Sam would enrol into the local high-school. Bobby offered Dean the mechanic job. Dean accepted with the repeated assurance that it wasn’t too much trouble.

On Monday, Sam was back in school and Dean was working.

Dean continued to text Cas pretty much every day. They called as well, mostly when Dean was missing Cas’ voice.

Christmas was fast approaching and there had been no sign of John. Sam had settled into school surprisingly quickly. He had made friends with a boy called Kevin and a girl called Jess.

Sam often told Dean about Jess. Sam obviously had a crush on her and Dean pushed him to ask her to the Christmas dance.

Dean called Cas late one night after he had woken up from a nightmare. He had erratic nightmares. One night he would be fine and the other he would be reliving that night. Usually, they weren’t that bad and he would just curl up before going back to sleep. This time was different. It felt so real like it was all happening again. He didn’t know what to do so he called Cas.

Cas was just drifting off when his phone started ringing. He rubbed his eyes and reached over for his phone.

“Hello?” He hadn’t bothered to look at the caller id.

“Cas?” Cas sat up immediately. Dean’s voice was shaking and he sounded scared.

“Dean? Are you ok?” He heard Dean stifle a sob.

“I had a nightmare.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Cas desperately wished he could be there, holding Dean as he cried.

“No. Can you just… talk to me?” Cas started telling Dean what he had been doing. It was all mundane but Dean’s sobbing quieted down to just an occasional sniffle.

“I was actually going to call you in the morning but I might as well ask you now. Do you want to come over for a week before Christmas? We can do some shopping for everyone.” Cas asked.

“That sounds great, Cas. When?”

“I can be there by tomorrow evening.”

They hung up shortly after. It was already 5:30 am so Cas didn’t bother going back to sleep. Dean, on the other hand, fell back asleep almost immediately.

Cas’ Thursday went by quickly, he told Charlie that Dean was going to come over. She was excited to meet him.

Dean told everyone that Cas would be picking him up. The rest of his day went by as it normally would.

After school on Friday, Cas got in his car and drove to Bobby’s house.

Everyone was eating dinner. They had decorated the house for Christmas earlier that day. It was the first time they had all decorated for Christmas together.

“Dean, starin’ at the door won’t make him appear,” Ellen told him. Dean’s head snapped back around.

“Yeah, sorry, Ellen.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, Dean.”

Dean tried to stop glancing back at the door and concentrate on eating.

After everyone finished eating and they had finished washing up, they sat down to have some bread pudding. Ellen had put a plate of food aside for Cas.

Dean had just finished his bread pudding when there was a knock at the door. Dean very nearly ran towards the door but managed to hold himself back.

Cas stood nervously waiting at the door. Dean opened the door and all of Cas’ worries melted away. He opened his arms and Dean hurried into his arms.

Dean smelled like pine and his shampoo scents Cas didn’t know he was missing.

“I fucking missed you,” Dean mumbled into Cas’ neck.

Cas squeezed Dean tighter, “I missed you, too.”

Cas pulled away and kissed Dean.

Dean smiled into the kiss. They walked back into the house with interlocked fingers.

Sam was reading a book but when they walked in he looked up and smiled,

"Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Sam."

Ellen greeted Cas with a hug,

"I saved you a plate. Figured you'd be hungry after all that drivin'."

"Thank you, Ellen."

Ellen left to get Cas' food. Cas and Dean sat down at the table. Bobby nodded at Cas and asked him how he was as he took a seat opposite.

Ash and Jo came down the stairs. Ash gave Cas a fist bump and Jo hugged him.

Jo and Ash were going over to his house so they left shortly after.

Ellen came back in with a plate piled high with food. Cas ate it hungrily. Afterwards, he was given bread pudding which he also ate quickly.

Afterwards, they all moved to sit in the living room.

“So, Sam, how has school been? Made any new friends?” Cas asked him.

“Yeah, school’s been fine. Made a few friends.”

Dean laughed, “He has a girlfriend.”

Sam blushed and glared at Dean the way only a little brother could.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sam muttered.

“You’re asking her to the dance, Sammy.”

“So?”

“OK, boys, that’s enough. If Sammy has a crush on this girl then it’s his own business.”

Sam crossed his arms and glared at Dean, “Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Anyway, are you planning on staying over, Cas?” Ellen asked Cas.

“Yes, actually, if that wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

They continued talking for another twenty minutes before Cas poorly stifled a yawn.

“How rude of us. Cas, you must be exhausted.”

Cas was going to disagree but decided against it. He was tired and did want to go to bed.

“Goodnight, everyone.”

“I’ll be up in a minute,” Dean told him. Cas nodded and walked wearily up the stairs.

Cas walked into the bathroom, relieved himself and realised that he didn’t have a toothbrush. He looked in the cabinet and grabbed a spare green one.

After he finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, he walked into Dean’s room.

It was quite cold so he rifled through Dean’s drawers before he found a spare pair of sweatpants and an old Jack Daniel’s t-shirt.

Cas was just getting into the bed when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Dean walked in and let out an appreciative low whistle, “Jesus, Cas.”

Cas blushed, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, Cas, you look fucking hot.”

Cas smiled and Dean smiled back. Dean quickly got changed before he got into bed with Cas.

Dean got in the other side and moved so he was facing Cas. Instantly, he moved so his head was under Cas’ chin. One of Cas’s hand’s was on Dean’s waist and the other was carding through his hair.

They stayed silent for a few moments, just content with each other's presence, “I missed this.” Dean mumbled.

Cas hummed. There really wasn’t anything that needed to be said.

Dean listened to the steady rhythm of Cas’ even breaths.

They turned so that Cas was spooning Dean and then fell asleep with entangled limbs.

Chapter Text

In the morning, Dean packed and had a shower. Cas dragged himself downstairs and made a cup of coffee. Ellen was already downstairs, making herself some breakfast.

“Morning.” Ellen greeted him.

“Morning,” Cas replied, settling himself down to eat his breakfast, drink his coffee and read the news.

Sam was the next person down, he got himself some cereal and then sat down to read his book.

It was another ten minutes before Dean made his way down. He gave Cas a quick kiss on the cheek and moved to make himself breakfast.

Sam observed how Cas and Dean acted around each other. He noticed that when Dean walked in, Cas stopped reading the news and instead watched Dean move around the kitchen. Sam knew that look. It was the same look Ash gave Jo when she was singing and working on a car. The same look Ellen gave Bobby when he came inside and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Sam wondered if he would ever be like that with Jess. He was going to ask her to the dance at lunch on Monday. Jess was perfect in Sam’s eyes, she was smart, witty and beautiful. Sam counted himself lucky that he met her. Which also meant he was lucky he had such a good family. He didn’t need his dad, Dean was more of a dad than John had ever been anyway.

Dean and Cas left shortly after breakfast but not before reassuring Ellen that they didn't need her to make them any food.

In the car, they listened to music and talked.

“Why did you decide to be a history teacher?” It was something that Dean had actually been meaning to ask Cas for a while.

“I wanted to prove to my parents that I could ‘survive’ without them. I was only seventeen when they kicked me out. They kicked me out after Luci told them that he saw me kissing another boy. The only things I had was my hastily packed school bag with a few pieces of clothing and my phone. I remember exactly what they said to me.”

Cas gripped the steering wheel tighter, “I was sitting in my room, doing homework when I heard shouting. It wasn’t unusual so I just ignored it. Then my father burst in and pulled me up. He stormed down to the kitchen where my family was. He shoved me and I fell to the floor.”

“Cas, you don't have to tell me this.” Dean reached over and put his hand over Cas.

Cas looked down at Dean’s hand and then he looked back at the road, “I do have to tell you.”

“They all looked down on me. By this time, Gabe had left and Balth was not in the house- I can’t remember why- so I was on my own. I tried to get up but… Luci kicked me in the back. I fell down. My mother… she told me that she ‘wouldn’t let the Novak name be stained by a..’.” He stopped and swallowed, “She went on a tirade about how I am a ‘child born of sin’. I again tried to get up but Michael and Luci both kicked me. I can’t clearly remember what happened after that. I blocked it out. I managed to get up and I ran upstairs and got my things. I… Luci and Michael followed me. Luci pinned me against the wall as I tried to get past him and told me that if he ever saw me again he would kill me. I just ran out. They all followed me and spat as I walked out of their home. I called Gabe and he picked me up.”

“I spiralled, I was so depressed I could barely get out of bed. I would’ve ended it if it wasn’t for Gabe and Balth. That was actually how Balth got kicked out. I told them both what happened and they both stormed back to the house. Balthazar got his stuff and told my mother, father, Luci and Michael that they were the real sinners, throwing out their youngest son. Gabe had to pull Balthazar out, he was shouting at all of them. My father told both of them to never come back.”

“That’s the main reason behind my tattoo. I revolted against the family and was lost and scared. The wings represent that but also rebirth. I also have another tattoo on my back. It’s an Aristotle quote, ‘It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.’ I got them both on my twentieth birthday.”

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I can’t believe you had to go through all of that.” Dean was terrible at comforting people even at the best of times.

“I’m just thankful for my brothers.”

They were both quiet for a few moments until Dean turned up the music when ‘Ramble On’ started to play.

Dean sang along and Cas hummed.

Gabe’s car was in Cas’ driveway and it was only then that Cas remembered that he told Gabe he was picking up Dean.

“I forgot to mention, Gabe is here. I told him I was picking him up and he said he wanted to meet you.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“He’s a bit…. Well, you’ll find out in a minute.” Cas tried to give some sort of warning to Dean but then decided that no warning would be strong enough.

They got out of the car and Gabe came out of the house.

“Gabe, this is…”

“Deano!” Gabe threw his hands up and walked towards Dean, he whistled and looked Dean up and down,

“Wow, that picture didn’t give him justice!”

“Gabe!” Cas blushed.

“Cassie! I’m just admiring this fine man.”

“OK, well lets at least get inside,” Cas sighed. Gabe conceded and walked inside with Dean and Cas following.

Gabe threw himself back down on the couch. There were jolly rancher wrappers strewn across the floor.

“Gabe, how long have you been here?” Cas looked around at the mess his usually-clean living room was in.

“I dunno, around two hours.”

“Gabe! If you weren’t my brother I would literally kill you.”

“You say that but I know you love me.”

Dean watched the interaction curiously. Gabe was the complete opposite of Cas but even still you could tell they were brothers.

“I’m gonna get myself something to eat,” Dean announced, walking to the kitchen.

“Nothing there, the fridge is empty.” Gabe hollered after Dean.

Dean could hear Cas sigh, “Gabe, you said you would pick up some food.”

“I said no such thing!”

Cas pulled out his phone and played the voicemail. Gabe did say he would stop off and get some food.

“Fine! You made your point. I’ll be back in thirty.”

Cas sighed when Gabe left.

“Now I know why you gave me the warning.”

“He is a bit… overbearing.” Cas paused to find the right word.

Dean and Cas both cleaned up the wrappers and crumbs Gabe had left all over the couch.

Dean put his stuff in Cas’ bedroom while Cas finished cleaning up the mess Gabe made.

Gabe came back with food. They all packed it away into the fridge and cupboards.

Dean and Gabe fell into easy conversation.

“So, yeah, I own a coffee shop,” Gabe told Dean while they talked about their jobs.

“Why a coffee shop?”

“Lots of business. That’s actually where I met Kali.”

“Kali?” Dean asked.

“Kali, the light of my life, my world, my love, the…”

“Your girlfriend.” Dean didn’t want to let Gabe continue talking because he would never stop, “How long have you two been together?”

“Four years.”

They continued talking until Gabe had to leave.

“Cya, Gabe.”

“Bye, handsome.” Dean had given up on telling Gabe to stop with the nicknames after the tenth time.

They had already eaten so Dean and Cas just sat on the couch and watched Star Wars together. They ended up lying on the couch. Cas spooning Dean.

They both fell asleep. Cas woke up at three in the morning. He nudged Dean. Dean mumbled and moved further back into Cas.

“Dean, we need to move to the bed.” Cas would’ve stayed in the position he was in except for the fact his arm and leg had both gone numb.

“Comfy.”

“Move.” Cas prodded Dean in the side.

Dean sighed and reluctantly managed to pull himself up. Cas followed and switched off the TV before shuffling into his bedroom.

Dean was sprawled in the middle of the bed, fully clothed.

Cas pulled off his clothes and then sighed when he heard Dean’s snores. He pulled off Dean’s jeans and then gave up and just pulled the covers around him. Cas got in the other side and pulled Dean into his arms.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean mumbled before falling back to sleep.

They slept in until around 10 am. Dean was the first to wake up. He got up and made Cas a cup of coffee. He grabbed his phone. There were a few texts from Sammy and Jo. He texted them both back and put his phone down when the coffee was ready.

He walked back into the bedroom and put the coffee on the nightstand. Cas started to rouse Dean gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him the coffee was on the side. Cas thanked him and Dean went to have a shower.

He grabbed Cas' shampoo in the shower. The smell of his shampoo filled his nostrils and he smiled at how at home it made him feel.

Cas sat up and drank his coffee. He texted Balth he was asking what he was planning to do for Christmas. Cas texted that he had to think about it. He got up and got dressed after he finished his coffee. He smiled at the fact Dean made him one.

He was just making the bed when Dean walked in with a towel around his waist. Cas followed the light dusting of freckles with his eyes. They went down his neck and over his shoulders. Cas hadn’t realised how attractive bowlegs were until he met Dean.

Dean coughed and Cas looked up. Dean had one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face,

“Something caught your eye?”

Cas licked his lips and nodded.

Dean’s mouth went dry. Cas moved closer and Dean turned his head to kiss him.

Usually, they would stop kissing before things got too far because there were people around them. This time though, they were alone.

Cas’ hands made their way to Dean’s waist and Dean’s to Cas’ hair.

They stood and languidly kissed for a while until they both wanted more. Cas walked them both backwards until his knees hit the newly made bed. Dean was already pretty much naked and neither of them wanted to waste any time. Dean pulled Cas’ shirt off.

Dean sat on the end of the bed and raised an eyebrow at Cas.

“We don’t have to.” Cas rumbled.

It was all Dean needed to realise that he did want this. He wanted Cas, surrounding him, inside him.

“I want this.”

Those simple words made Cas relax.

Dean’s fingers made quick work of Cas’ jeans. Soon, he was down to just his boxers.

There was a wet spot of pre-cum on his boxers. Dean couldn’t resist, he leaned forward and licked Cas through the material of his boxers.

“Fuck, Dean.” Cas’ fingers made their way to Dean’s hair.

Dean licked Cas all the way down to the base before coming back up. He mischievously looked up at Cas through his eyelashes.

He decided to stop teasing and slowly pulled Cas’ boxers down. Cas kicked them off and Dean was left staring at Cas’ cock.

It was wider than what Dean was expecting and certainly wider than he had experience with. However, Dean, ever one for a challenge, leaned forward and sucked the tip. At Cas’ appreciative groans, he kept going.

He went until it hit the back of his throat and then he started bobbing his head.

“Dean…” Cas moaned.

Dean’s cock needed attention. Dean kept one hand on Cas’ thighs and moved the other one down to his legs. He undid the towel and let it fall. He moaned at the first brush of his hand against his member.

Cas gently pulled Dean off. Cas looked down at the erotic view of Dean stroking himself.

Dean smirked and moved further back up the bed, not stopping touching himself. Cas followed him. Cas leaned down and dominated Dean’s mouth.

“Cas… Can’t wait.”

“Are you sure?” Cas asked once again.

“Yes. Fuck me, Cas.” Cas smirked and leaned over to get lube out of the nightstand.

He sat back and Dean spread his legs slightly. Cas quickly covered one finger with lube and inserted it.

Dean moaned as Cas slid another finger in along with the first. Cas scissored Dean open until he thought he was ready.

He lubed himself up and lined himself up. He looked up at Dean and their eyes locked as Cas pushed in. They both moaned when Cas bottomed out.

“Shit, Cas…” His eyes fell closed. Cas was fixated with how beautiful Dean looked. His mouth was wide open in pleasure and his emerald eyes were hidden from him.

Dean’s bowlegs wrapped around Cas and he pulled Cas in even deeper.

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand to get better leverage and angle. Dean was literally in heaven, Cas was hitting his prostate with every thrust. Cas was in the same position, Dean enveloping him perfectly.

“Close.” Dean moaned.

Cas picked up his pace and wrapped his hand around Dean’s length. Dean opened his eyes and came when his eyes met Cas’.

Cas’ hips started stuttering and he came seconds after Dean, moaning his name.

Cas collapsed beside Dean. They were both covered in a light sheen of sweat. Cas removed the used condom and disposed of it while Dean caught his breath.

Cas came back with a damp towel to half-heartedly clean Dean. They both knew it wouldn't be long until they got messy again. After he finished wiping Dean, he moved to lie beside him.

Cas opened his arms and Dean moved into his embrace.

"Wow, Cas."

Cas laughed and Dean joined him, "I certainly didn't think this was how my day was going to start."

"I just had a shower. Couldn't have picked worse timing." Dean jokingly admonished Cas as he stroked his chin.

"It's your fault. If you didn't look so gorgeous, I wouldn't have had to do that." Dean blushed and turned his face into Cas shoulder.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean mumbled. Cas started messing with Dean’s hair and closed his eyes. They sat in silence for a while.

“Why do you always wear that trench coat?” It was an odd question that came out of the blue.

“Balthazar and Gabe gave it to me. They got it for me on my 12th birthday. My mother and father were furious at them for spending their allowance on it. I loved and still love it.”

“It suits you.”

They talked for a bit until they decided to have a shower.

Shower sex wasn’t something Dean was too familiar with. However, with Cas, it was a new experience that he wanted to repeat.

They walked into the kitchen and Cas started cooking. He made scrambled eggs on toast for both of them. Dean took out his phone and texted Sam while Cas did that.

“Cas, these eggs are delicious.” Dean moaned around a mouthful.

Cas smiled and moved to sit down beside Dean. Dean moved his chair closer to Cas' so their shoulders and side of the thighs were touching.

Something inside of Cas warmed at the move.

The rest of the day was spent lazing around.

Dean had his head on Cas' lap while they watched Star Trek.

Cas was thinking out loud, "We need to get presents for Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Sam, Gabe, Kali Balth and his family, Ash and Charlie."

"We?" Dean looked up and he could see Cas blush,

"Sorry. That was presumptuous. It's too early to talk about us as an item and-"

"Cas." Dean moved so he was sitting up beside Cas, "It doesn't bother me, I like it. Plus we are boyfriends." Dean leaned his head on Cas' shoulder.

"Then why did you sound shocked when I said 'we'?"

"I didn't expect it. Just… things are moving fast." Dean quickly realised that didn't sound how he wanted it to so quickly corrected himself, "Which I don't mind. It’s just… I don’t understand why you would want me.”

“Dean…” He pulled away so Dean was forced to look into his eyes, “You’re everything I could want. You’re smart, even though you don’t think you are. You’re funny, handsome, strong and loving. I will always want you.”

“But, what about how you met me?”

“That doesn’t matter. I know you think that you’re ‘dirty’. Dean, what happened, it was not your fault.”

“But I should've gotten away." He whispered. It haunted Dean that he didn’t.

"You couldn't. After Christmas, we can go to the police if that's what you want."

"Will you come with me?"

"I'll be there whenever you need me."

"Shit, Cas." Dean looked into Castiel's eyes and realised something,

"I fucking love you."

It wasn’t the most perfect nor the most romantic admission but it didn’t matter. They both shared a smile and moved forward to kiss. Once they broke away, Cas smiled

"I love you, too."

They then had sex on the couch.

In the morning, Cas woke up first. He turned and grabbed his phone off of the nightstand. He read the news before he made a move to get up. Dean started to stir as he started to get dressed.

“Morning.” Cas gave Dean a kiss on the forehead and Dean sighed and stretched.

Cas went to make himself a cup of coffee and breakfast for himself and Dean.

Dean wandered into the kitchen ten minutes later, just as Cas was putting the pancakes on his plate.

“Thanks.” Dean smiled and waited until Cas sat beside him to start eating.

They sat in comfortable silence as they ate. Afterwards, they washed their plates and Cas made sure he had everything before they got into the car.

“I get out of work at around 4 pm.”

“Yep, I’ll be there to pick you up.”

They got there shortly after. They both got out and they shared a brief kiss.

“If you’re going to go shopping, you’ll need this.” Cas pulled his wallet, took out his card and gestured to Dean.

“Cas… I couldn’t.” Dean was absolutely shocked that Cas would offer him the card.

“Dean. Buy anything you want.”

“I can’t Cas it’s your money.”

“The presents you buy for everyone are going to be from both of us. Dean, use it.”

“OK.” Dean gave in.

“Call me if you need anything,” Cas told Dean.

“I will. Have a good day.” Dean straightened Cas tie and they smiled at each other.

Dean got in the car and waved as he drove away.

Cas smiled and walked in. Charlie was already in.

"You're smiling a lot. Have anything to do with your boyfriend?" She elbowed him in the ribs and Cas smiled even more.

"Yep."

"You picked him up?"

"Yes. He is going to pick me up at the end of the day."

"Can I meet him?" Charlie moved to make herself a coffee, not that she needed it, she was already chipper.

"I’ll ask him. He's shopping for Christmas presents for the family."

"That's super nice. Are you giving joint presents?"

"Yes. I can't wait to start shopping for him." Cas loved talking about Dean and was almost upset when he had to go to his classroom.

Chapter Text

Dean knew where he was going to go first. Gabe told him where his shop was yesterday and told him to drop by.

The shop was bustling. He walked in and got in the line. He was thankful he had found a beanie in the glove compartment. He rubbed his hands together and when they didn't warm up that way, stuffed them in his pockets.

He got to the front of the line. There was no one behind him. Gabe was putting money in the cash register.

"Hello, welcome to the Trickster. How can I help… Deano! How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go shopping for Christmas presents after a slice of your Apple pie."

"Coming right up. That'll be $2.50." Dean did have his own money and so took his wallet out and passed Gabe a $5 bill.

After Gabe gave him the change, he was given a big slice of pie.

Dean took a seat on one of the stools and talked to Gabe while he ate it.

"So, how are you and Cassy?" Gabe leaned on the counter.

"We're great." Dean smiled at the memory of how Cas kissed him and told him he loved him, "I said 'I love you'. He said it back."

"Aw, it's so nice knowing that my baby brother found love. And with you no less, Mr. Sex On Legs."

"Thanks Gabe." Dean laughed.

Dean finished his pie, "Gabe, that was delicious."

"It better be, it's a new recipe Kali wanted to try."

"She works here?"

"No but she helps me prepare the pie. It's her favourite."

"Two Novak men with Pie-loving partners?"

"What can I say, we have good taste."

Gabe took the plate from Dean, "Well, as much as I'd like to sit here and talk to you. I have shit to do, as do you."

"That your way of politely telling me to go away?"

"Sure is."

Dean laughed, "See you later, Gabe."

"See you around, Deanosaurus."

Dean rolled his eyes at the nickname.

He got back in the car and had a moment of longing for his baby. He switched the radio on. A Taylor Swift song was playing.

"I stay out too late. Got nothing in my brain." He continued singing. By the end of the song, he was smacking the steering wheel and belting it out.

When the song ended, he thought about what he was going to buy everyone. Sam was the easiest, some nerdy law books and probably a new pair of running sneakers. Cas would probably be better at choosing the books. So that meant Dean had to go get the sneakers.

By the time he had to pick up Cas, he had shopped for Sam, Jo, Ellen, Bobby and Gabe.

He parked where he dropped Cas off and got out of the car. He leaned against the side and got his phone out. There was a text from Cas.

Cas: I'll be out in 5. Charlie wants to come out to meet you. Is that ok?

Dean: That's fine. See you soon.

Dean also answered a text from Sam. He quickly told him what he had been up to.

He slid his phone into his pocket after he checked the time. Cas should be out any second now.

Just as he thought, only seconds later Cas walked out with a red head walking beside him.

Dean walked up and interlocked their fingers. Cas gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Dean, this is my friend, Charlie Bradbury. Charlie, this is Dean Winchester."

Charlie did a nerdy little wave and Dean nodded,

"It's nice to meet you. Cas told me you like Star Wars and Star Trek?"

“Yes! Do you?” Charlie asked excitedly.

Cas knew that if they got started talking, they would never get home. He let them talk for a few minutes until the cold started to get to him. He squeezed Dean’s hand and Dean seemed to get the message.

“Can we continue this tomorrow?”

“Of course! See you tomorrow.”

Dean drove back.

“So, what presents did you get?”

“Well, I got Sammy a new pair of running sneakers. He is always doing something active and he hasn’t had a new pair for a few months. I was also thinking about some law books or something but I thought you’d be better at that stuff so I left that for you.”

“Actually, Kali is a lawyer. I can ask her to suggest some.”

“Kali’s a lawyer? And she’s with Gabe?” Dean was astonished.

Cas laughed, “That was my reaction too. They really love each other.”

“I got Bobby a new cap and some car parts he’s been complaining about not being able to find. Jo, I also got her some car parts and a murder mystery book I thought she might like." He told Cas about what he got for Ellen, Bobby and Gabe as well.

Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and continued talking.

They got back and had to jog in as it had started to rain.

“Shit, I forgot the presents.” Dean paused and contemplated going back out, “I’ll get them later.”

Cas was tired as a lot of students were acting up. He could understand why though, it was almost Christmas and a lot of them were excited about it. He sat down and Dean went for a shower.

Dean noticed that Cas wasn’t saying much and knew it was because he was tired. When he came out of the shower, he changed into his pyjamas and walked into the sitting room. Cas had drifted off. Instead of waking him, Dean went to get the presents from the car. The rain had pretty much stopped but it was still cold so Dean was quick.

After that, he started making dinner. He rummaged around and found some spaghetti. He always made spaghetti for Sammy. It was cheap and easy to make. How could his dad just leave both his sons alone? Dean sighed, he didn’t want to think of his dad right now.

When he finished the pasta, he put it on the table and went to wake Cas up.

He shook Cas’ shoulder,

“Hey, man, wake up. I made spaghetti.”

Cas jolted awake.

“I made spaghetti for dinner,” Dean repeated.

Cas smiled and stretched before he got up, “You could’ve woken me up.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Why would I wake you up?”

They walked into the kitchen together, “So I could make dinner.”

“Well, I made dinner.”

Cas didn’t really have an argument; he just felt bad that while he was sleeping, Dean was making food.

They sat down and Dean waited until Cas started eating.

“This is really good.” Dean smiled and blushed, not used to compliments.

“What are we gonna do for Christmas?” Dean asked.

“I was thinking about this actually. After this Friday, the school’s closed for winter break. So, we can go down to your family then.”

“You’re ok with spending Christmas with my family?”

“I’m fine with it. Usually, I spend Christmas with Gabe and Kali so I won’t be missing out on much. Balth, his wife Ava and his girls come around at New Year’s.”

“So is that what we’re gonna do for New Year? Come back here and celebrate with your family?”

“If that’s ok with you?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

They washed the dishes together and then crashed on the couch.

“I’m just gonna call Bobby and tell him we’re coming over.”

While Dean did that, Cas texted Kali and asked her about law books. Kali said that she could give some books to Gabe and he could give them to Cas or Dean.

Dean leaned on the counter and called the house. The phone was picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”

“Hey, Ellen.”

“Hey Dean, how are you doing? How is Cas?”

“I’m doing fine, so is Cas. He’s tired though. I did some shopping for presents for everyone. How about you?”

“We’re all fine. Sam asked Jessica to the dance. She said yes and, bless him, he’s so excited.”

They continued talking for a while until Dean asked, “So, me and Cas were talking about it. Is it ok if we spend Christmas with you guys.”

“Of course Dean, that’s fine. But what about Cas’ brothers?”

“What about them?”

“Dean, Cas is obviously going to want to spend Christmas with his brothers. You know what… we have plenty of spare seats at the table. You can bring them all here.”

“But Ellen are you sure? That would be Gabe, Balthazar, Kali, Balthazar’s wife and two daughters.”

“Of course I’m sure. Plus it would be nice to have a big family Christmas. We haven’t had one of those since…” Ellen trailed off but Dean knew what she was going to say. Since mom died.

“I know Ellen. I’m glad we can have another big Christmas. Me and Cas will be there this weekend. I’ll text you when I know when the others will be there.”

“Alright honey, I’ll let you go now.”

“Ok, tell everyone I’ll see them soon.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Dean hung up and walked back into the living room,

“I talked to Ellen, she said that’s fine. She also said that your brothers can come around for Christmas too.”

“Really?” Cas sat up a bit and looked shocked, “She does know that Balth has daughters? In total that would be… eight extra people, including us.”

“I know, man, I didn’t expect her to offer but she assured me that it’s alright. She likes big Christmas’. The last big Christmas we had was the Christmas before mom died.”

“Are you looking forward to another big Christmas?” Cas asked him, moving until their sides were flush together.

“Yeah, it’ll be a nice change. Plus, it’ll be nice for you to have a family Christmas with your brothers.”

“I’ll call them both, ask them if they want to come.” Cas picked his phone off of the coffee table in front of them.

Dean texted Sam while he listened to Cas talk to his brothers.

“Yes, I can do that... Yeah OK, see you all soon. Tell Ava and the girls that I said hi. Love you, bye.” He hung up on Balthazar and called Gabe.

“The girls can go in one car and we can go in the other... Yeah, he’s gonna tell me when they get in, they can stay over here… Perfect…. Yeah, love you.”

“So?” Dean asked.

“Balth can come. He is going to get a flight here on Saturday. They can stay here and then on Sunday we can drive down. Kali and Ava get along very well so they can drive down with the girls and we can drive down separately.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The following morning, Dean picked up the law books from Gabe. He also called Ellen and told her the plan.

The rest of the work continued in a similar pattern. On Friday they would go Christmas shopping together.

It was Thursday. Dean had just dropped Cas off. He only had to buy a present for Cas now. What was he going to get?

Suddenly, it came to him. He knew exactly what he was going to get. He drove in the direction of Gabe’s coffee shop, The Trickster. Today though, he wasn’t going there. He parked in the parking lot that was near The Trickster, where he parked every morning.

He walked past the coffee shop. Beside it, there was a little shop called, ‘Rowena’s Wicca Wears’. He looked in the window and saw the exact thing he knew Cas would love.

He walked in and a little bell rang. He closed the door behind him. A red-headed woman popped up from behind the cash register.

“Good morning! I’m Rowena, welcome to ‘Rowena’s Wicca Wears’. I’ll be with you in just a shake.” Dean hummed and looked around the shop while he waited for the Scottish woman. There were all sorts around the shop. On shelves, there were jars with plants, dead and alive, in them. Half-opened boxes littered the floor.

“Sorry for the mess, I’ve just opened.” Rowena apologised. Dean turned to talk to her,

“It’s fine. I was actually wondering how much that necklace in the window was?”

“The pentagram with angel wings?”

“Yes.”

“That’s $50.”

“Fifty dollars?” Even though it wasn’t Dean’s money, he still didn’t want to spend lots.

“Yes.” Rowena leaned on the counter.

Dean sighed and thought about it, “I’ll take it.”

“Great! Let me get it for you.” She walked past Dean and leaned in the window to get the necklace.

“Do you want it gift wrapped?” She asked as she walked back behind the counter.

“Yes please.” The silence quickly became awkward but Rowena paid it no mind,

“So, tell me about this man.”

“How did you...?” Dean looked at her confusedly.

“Deary, you walked into a Wicca shop. Now, tell me about this man.”

Dean, still astonished, started telling her about Cas. He kept talking to her even after she had finished wrapping the necklace.

“I really love him.” Dean ended lamely.

“Sounds like you do. If I could give a wee piece of advice?”

Dean nodded.

“You should be confident in your relationship. He loves you, he loves you despite what happened to you. He will always stay by your side. Never doubt that.”

“Thank you.” Dean didn’t know what else to say. He held out Cas’ card to pay.

“Tell you what… this one is on me. As long as you spread the word about my shop, we’ll be even. Now, run along, you have things to do.”

“Thank you, goodbye, Rowena.” Dean tucked the small package into his jacket.

“See you later, Dean.” She waved and watched him walk outside. Rowena knew this wasn’t the last time she’d speak to Dean Winchester.

Dean ducked into Gabe's shop. It was slow so he was one of the only people in there.

"Dean! The usual?" Gabe greeted.

"Yeah. I just got Cas’ Christmas present."

"Ooohhh what did you get him?"

"Gabe, I'm not an idiot. I know you can't keep secrets for shit."

"I'll have you know I am great at keeping secrets!"

"No, you're not." Dean countered.

Gabe dramatically sighed and the back of his hand on his forehead, "I concede! It is my only fault!"

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes, "Your only fault."

"I'm sure Kali would agree with me."

"Sure she would."

Gabe passed Dean a plate of pie and a hot chocolate.

"Speaking of Kali, she'll be here in a few minutes."

"Why?" Dean hadn't met Kali and he'd come to the Trickster everyday.

"It's her day off. She had to pick some things up from the office otherwise she would've helped me open."

Dean had to thank her personally for the old law books.

He continued idly chit chatting with Gabe while eating his pie and drinking his hot chocolate. He had just finished both when Gabe stopped talking mid sentence.

He looked behind him. He had no idea what Kali looked like but even so, knew the woman he saw was Kali. She was wearing a suit and had a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Babe." Gabe greeted her as she walked to the counter. Gabe and Kali shared a brief kiss,

"I'm just going to dump my bags at the back."

"After you've done that, you can meet Dean."

It was then Kali looked over at Dean,

"Dean Winchester?"

"Yes, Kali?"

They shook hands. Kali went to drop her bags. As soon as she vanished out of earshot Dean whistled.

"Gotta say Gabe, you're a lucky man." Gabe smiled and his chest puffed up in pride.

"I know I am."

Kali came back and sat down beside Dean.

"Thank you for the books." Dean started the conversation. Kali studied him for a second.

"You're welcome. They're going to your brother?"

Gabe went to greet a customer.

"Yeah, Sammy is a big law nerd. He wants to be a lawyer."

"How old is he?"

"16 turning 17 in May. He's doing senior level work right now. He is probably gonna graduate a year early."

"That's… impressive." Kali smiled.

Dean chuckled, "He has the brains out of the two of us."

"What do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a mechanic. Right now I'm working for my uncle Bobby in South Dakota."

"Do you have any other family there?"

"Yeah, my Aunt Ellen and cousin Jo but she's more like a little sister than cousin."

They kept talking for a while. More customers came in so Gabe was away talking to them.

“Gabe really loves you.”

Kali smiled and looked at Gabe fondly, “So do I.”

Kali and Dean continued talking throughout the rush.

“I don’t usually offer this kind of thing but… If you need someone to represent you in court, I can. Free of charge.” Kali offered after they started talking about the circumstances surrounding how Cas and Dean met. Dean didn’t go too much into depth but he did mention he was going to press charges.

“Really?” Dean was overwhelmed with emotion and had to look away to stop himself from crying.

“Dean. I know this is a bit soon but you’re family now. Especially since I know Gabe is planning to propose on New Year’s.” Dean also knew that Gabe was going to propose. He had even been shown the ring.

“Thank you, Kali.”

Kali smiled and patted Dean’s hand.

Gabe pretty much collapsed in front of them once the lunchtime rush was gone. He grabbed a stool and some water.

“Well, babe, looks like your pie is popular.” Gabe nodded over to where the display case used to be full of pie but was now empty.

“I’ll have to make some more.”

Dean took out his phone and checked the time. It was 1 pm.

"Do you wanna make the pie now?" Gabe asked Kali.

"I might as well. Do you want to help, Dean?" Kali asked as she stood up.

"Yeah. I have the time." Dean also stood up.

They walked through to the back.

Kali showed Dean how to make the pie. He already knew how to make a basic pie but Kali had a different method. She also told him that he couldn't tell anyone the recipe. He promised he wouldn't.

Dean had to leave at 3 pm. He said goodbye to both Kali and Gabe. Kali and Dean exchanged numbers.

He drove to the school and waited in the car for Cas. There was a text from Sam asking how he was. He replied and also texted Ellen to tell her what he had been up to. She always texted to make sure he was ok.

He got out of the car when he saw Cas and Charlie.

When they got back to the house, Dean put the present for Cas in the room with all the others.

Dean told Cas about his day, "And then Kali and I made apple pie. She showed me her secret recipe."

"Really?" Cas asked. He was astonished, Kali had never told anyone her secret pie recipe.

"Yes. She also gave me her number and said she could represent me in court. For free."

Dean smiled at knowing he had people that supported him. He omitted the part about Rowena.

On Friday, Dean again dropped Cas off at work.

Dean had to go grocery shopping and figured it would be easiest to get it out of the way at the start of the day. He only knew where one grocery store was. He was driving when he felt a wave of sickness sweep over him. He managed to stop the car somewhere safe when he opened the door and projectile vomited all over the ground.

He was sick until there was nothing else that could leave his stomach. He rummaged around the glove compartment and found some tissues to wipe his mouth with. Thankfully, there was no vomit on him or the car.

He got out of the car, sidestepping the vomit and walked over to a trash can to put the tissues away.

It was when he looked up that he realised why he had been sick.

Across the street was the grocery store. Beside it was the alley where he was…

He didn’t get to finish that thought as a wave of nausea ripped through him that made him scrunch his eyes shut.

“No no no no no.” He muttered to himself, hoping that if he repeated it enough, the memories and sickness would go away.

It didn’t work.

“Dean?” He heard a feminine voice ask from behind him.

He opened his eyes and slowly turned around.

Rowena walked over to him.

“Dearie me! You’re looking very peely-wally. Are you ok, Dean?”

“I’m… no, I’m not.”

“Come on, I’ll drive you to my shop.” She held out her hand for Dean’s (well, Cas’) keys. Dean relinquished them, trusting Rowena and knowing that he wouldn’t be able to drive himself.

Rowena didn’t make a comment on anything and instead, drove them quietly to her shop.

She guided Dean to the back and made him sit down while she made some tea. She indicated to a bathroom where there was some mouthwash. He gratefully swilled to get rid of the taste of vomit.

He walked out of the bathroom and sat down on a couch. She handed him the tea. He smelled it and made a face. However, instead of complaining, he wrapped his hands around it and slowly sipped.

“Do you want me to get you something to eat?”

Without waiting for an answer Rowena stood up, “I’ll be right back.”

Dean closed his eyes as he took a sip.

Rowena walked into ‘The Trickster’. There was no line and Rowena walked right up to the counter.

“Oh, hello Rowena. What can I get you today?” Rowena had visited ‘The Trickster’ a few times and had talked to Gabe once or twice.

“Dean is in my shop. I saw him in front of the grocery store. He vomited on the floor. I thought he would like to see you right now seeing as Castiel is working.”

“Shit, is he ok?” Gabe started taking his apron off.

“He’s hungry.” Rowena didn’t want to lie to him and say he was ok but she also didn’t want to panic him.

“Gimme a minute.” Gabe turned around and went to the back. He told Kali to cover for a minute.

“What happened?” Kali asked as she followed him out of the back. She had an apron on and some flour on it.

“I’ll tell you when I come back. It's Dean, he’s ok but I need to go check for myself.” He had a polystyrene container and was putting some slices of pie in it.

Kali was confused and flustered but agreed to cover while Gabe left. Gabe gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then followed Rowena out.

She guided him silently to her shop and into the back.

Dean had finished his tea and was covering his face. His whole body racked with sobs.

Gabe rushed over and sat next to him. He placed a hand on his back.

“Dean?” Dean sobbed harder. Rowena and Gabe shared a worried glance.

Cas’ classes were pretty empty. He just played Kahoot! with the students that were in.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

Gabe: Urgent. Call me.

A sick feeling centred itself in the pit of his stomach. Gabe never texted Cas while he was in work.

He stood up, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Talk amongst yourselves.” He distractedly addressed his class as he walked out.

He made a beeline for the teacher’s lounge as he knew no one would be there.

He called Gabe. It barely rang once before Gabe picked up.

“Gabe? What’s wrong?” Cas ran a hand through his hair and started pacing.

“It’s Dean. Rowena, the woman who owns the shop beside me, found him. He had vomited on the ground. He was in front of the grocery store.”

Cas cursed. How could he have been so careless and let Dean go grocery shopping, “That’s where I… I found him.”

“Shit. That would explain it. We are in the back of Rowena’s shop. He’s sobbing. Cas… I don’t want to ask you to leave work but I think he needs you.”

“Yes, of course, I’ll be there.” Cas dazedly said as he walked to the door.

“I’ll meet you at the school.”

He quickly walked to the principal’s office. He knocked and waited, “Come in!”

“Garth-”

Garth cut him off, “Castiel! You look terrible! Are you ok?”

“No. I hate to ask this Garth, I really do, but can I take the rest of the day off? My boyfriend, he needs me. I’m sorry but I can’t elaborate.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Dean.” Castiel had told Garth a bit about Dean when he asked why he wasn’t in, only the bare minimum.

“Of course, Castiel. If I remember rightly you only have one more class today. Is that correct?”

“Yes. I’m really sorry to have to do this to you, Garth. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Castiel. I can easily find someone to cover your class. I assume I won’t be seeing you till next year. In that case, have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.”

“Thank you so much, Garth.”

Garth just nodded and smiled. Cas turned and walked out.

The bell rang just as he walked back into his class. He distractedly wished everyone a happy holiday season. He waited until all the kids walked out before he walked out. Charlie’s classroom was just next door and he stuck his head in to tell her that he wouldn’t be in for the rest of the day.

“Sorry, Charlie, I have to go but I’ll text you everything.”

“Oh, um, Ok. Cya later.” She waved awkwardly and watched Cas practically run.

Cas waited outside but it only took a few minutes before Gabe appeared in Cas car.

Cas got in the passenger side.

“How is he?”

Gabe started driving, “He’s not good. He hasn’t stopped crying. I’ve given him some pie to eat but he hasn’t touched it and he hasn’t talked to anyone since he got in the car.”

“Shit. I shouldn’t have asked him to get groceries. I was fucking stupid.”

“No, Cas, you couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault.” Gabe threw a worried glance at Cas.

Cas wasn’t really listening and was texting Dean. He knew Dean probably wouldn’t look at them but he wanted him to know that he was coming.

The short drive felt painfully long as all Cas could think about was his boyfriend, who he loved, was suffering.

They eventually got there and Cas didn’t even wait for Gabe to take out the keys before he got out of the car.

He jogged into Rowena’s shop.

“Castiel?” The red-headed woman who was standing at the door asked.

“Yes, where’s Dean?”

She showed him to the back of the shop. Dean’s whole body was shaking. He had curled over and had his head in between his knees

“Dean.” He whispered. He closed the door behind him so it was just himself and Dean in the room.

He cautiously walked over and placed a gentle hand on Dean’s back.

Dean didn’t react and so Cas took this as a sign that he could sit down beside him. He slowly rubbed his back in soothing circles.

They sat like that for a few minutes. Dean stopped shaking.

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean mumbled.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Dean moved and gingerly put his head on Cas' shoulder.

Cas could tell Dean was going to say something so he stayed quiet.

“I… the memories. God, Cas. They…. I was... gang raped.” The admission settled in the bottom of Dean's stomach like a lead balloon, “They didn’t listen and just fucked me. They pushed into me even though I didn’t want them. But they kept insisting… Insisting that I would like it.”

Silent tears streamed down Cas’ face.

“Cas… take me home.” Cas wiped both of their faces and moved to stand up. Dean grabbed his arm, “Don’t wanna let go.” He mumbled in explanation.

Cas changed their position so he could walk easier. He put his arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him close.

They opened the door together. Gabe was stress eating a slice of pie and talking to Rowena in hushed whispers.

“Thank you so much, Rowena. We’re just going to go home.” Cas quickly said.

Rowena nodded in understanding. She gave Cas a squeeze on the shoulder and a sympathetic smile.

“I’ll speak to you later, Gabe.”

“Of course, Cassie.” Gabe’s eyes were filled with sympathy, “I’ll talk to you later.”

They got in the car and Cas drove them home. The silence was thick, nearly suffocating.

“I’m gonna go for a shower.” Dean stated.

“Ok, I’ll make something to eat.” Usually, Cas would offer to shower with him but he figured Dean didn’t need that right now.

Dean wandered into the bathroom and stripped before he stepped into the, slightly too hot, flow of water.

Ten minutes later, the sandwich was made and Cas was getting antsy waiting for Dean. After another five minutes, he went to check on him.

Gently, he knocked on the door, “Dean?”

There was no answer. When he put his ear to the door, he heard sobbing. He tried the handle, the door was unlocked.

“Dean? I’m coming in.” He slowly twisted the handle and walked in. What he saw broke his heart.

Dean was on the floor. His skin was bright red and it looked like he had been scrubbing it. He was pulling at his hair and shaking.

“Oh Dean.” Cas strode over and grabbed a towel. After wrapping it around his shoulders he sat down on the floor beside him and pulled him onto his lap. Dean tucked his head under Cas’ chin.

“Dean, talk to me,” Cas said after a beat of silence.

“I’m so dirty, Cas.” After Dean started talking, Cas stroked a hand down his back to try and relax him.

“They told me that I’d like it. They said that… Cas. They raped me. I… why me?”

“I don’t know, Dean.” Cas was helpless, nothing he said meant anything.

Dean suddenly turned and kissed Cas. Cas tried to push back, he could taste Dean’s salty tears. Dean gripped Cas’ hair tightly.

Dean pulled back and looked deeply into the other man’s eyes.

“I’ll take care of you, Dean, if that’s what you want?” Dean nodded and Cas stood up and carried Dean with him into the bedroom.

They stood in the shower afterwards together. Cas gently washed Dean’s back. The red marks weren’t as bad as they were before. There was no need to ask what happened, it was clear.

“Can we still go shopping?” Dean asked. Cas knew why he was asking, they were going to go shopping today.

“We can go shopping tomorrow before we pick up Balth.”

“Are you ok, Dean?” Cas asked when they were facing each other.

“No, I’m not OK.” Dean snapped, “What do you want me to say? I just want to continue as I have for these past few weeks. Can we just enjoy this Christmas before the shit is going to hit the fan? Please, Cas, just drop it.” His shoulders sagged and Cas could see the tears in his eyes.

Cas sighed, knowing all he could do was support Dean.