Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

5 Years Later - October 2010. 

New Jersey 

Dodging the left jab, Bella ducked and delivered one of her own to Jerome’s face. He stumbled back a few paces, forehead sweating, and held his gloved hand up to his chin, nose bleeding. Bella smiled victoriously and relaxed her stance, her own face coated in sweat. Boxing was never a sport she could have foreseen herself practising, let alone enjoying, but over the past two years she’d gotten rather good at it. At least, good enough to take those on her own level and win. 

“Nice, Bella,” Coach Jimmy shouted from outside the ring. He was leaning up against the right-hand side ropes , a towel around his neck, watching the friendly match with interest. “Watch your footing though, he could have knocked you clean over if he’d landed that jab.” Bella instinctively looked down at her feet and corrected her stance, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet to test her balance. Since Coach Jimmy had taken her under his wing, her stamina and balance had improved tremendously. She put it down to him being a good coach, he put it down to her perseverance and how well she adapted with constructive criticism. 

“I could’ve had you,” Jermone teased, grinning. Bella grimaced at the smeared blood on his teeth, as if she could taste the metallic tang herself. It could be worse, she reasoned, she could still pass out at the sight. A truly awful condition to have in boxing. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Bella said after she scoffed. She gestured for him to leave the ring first and he shook his head. 

“Even after all this time,” he muttered, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” Bella didn’t reply, she simply followed him out of the ring and sauntered towards the women’s changing room, grabbing her water bottle en route. She showered, dried off quickly, and dressed in her post workout sweats. They were comfortable and although she’d also never been a sweatpants and vest top kind of girl, she felt powerful wearing them. Especially since she looked athletic and toned in them. It took 20 minutes to dry her hair and by the time she packed her things away, finished her water, and made her way back out to the floor; Jerome had already taken off. 

“Bella,” Coach Jimmy called as she headed towards the door. She turned and waited for him to make his way over, duffle bag in hand. If she left within the next five minutes, she’d be home in 15 and could catch Nancy before she left for work. “I know it’s a bit out of the blue,” he started, “but I have a conference in Washington this weekend and I was wondering if you’d like to join me. I know you said you wanted to visit Charlie last month…” Bella was surprised he remembered given she’d been incredibly drunk when the confession was made. 

“A conference?” Bella asked, curious. 

“Well, I say a conference,” he said, smirking. “It’s more of a biennial get together with some old sports friends but we get paid to argue over football and politics.” Bella smiled ever so slightly. “I’ll be updating them on the gym here and our contenders for April. You never know, you may be one of them.” 

“I doubt it,” Bella replied, she enjoyed boxing but wasn’t confident enough to play for money. She’d been to a few matches and it was brutal. That, and she’d also promised her Dad she wouldn’t when he first found out she was attending classes. “This weekend?” She asked. Coach Jimmy nodded. “I’ll have to ask work...” 

“I figured,” he said, “let me know if you can make it. I’ll be renting a car so I can drive you home after the conference.” Bella nodded. She’d have to call Charlie too, make sure he was around. The last thing she wanted was to sit around in Forks while he worked. Despite finishing High School there, she still didn’t look back on the time or town with fondness. 

“Will do,” she said. “I’ll text you.” He nodded in acknowledgement and she made an attempt at a smile before walking away, oblivious to the way he stared after her. 

She made it just in time for the train; Nancy was stepping out of her apartment when Bella reached the top of the stairs on their floor. 

“Hey, Nance,” Bella greeted, surprising the woman three years her senior. Nancy lived with her seven-year-old Son, Connor, and was Bella’s first friend when she moved to the city. Fresh-faced out of Forks High School, starting NYU, renting a box apartment above a take out restaurant, Romiros, three blocks from campus. Nancy had worked at Romiros at the time and after Bella graduated, she managed to secure the apartment next door to her in an apartment block on Boulevard in Kenilworth, New Jersey. It was nicer than her last place and she had two bedrooms, one of which she used as a study. 

“Bella,” Nancy smiled. “God, you look...swole?” They both laughed, though Bella’s was slightly more self-conscious. “Working tonight?” 

“Yeah,” Bella replied. She had a full time job at a bar in Manhattan which was good money but took her nearly two hours to get to, and every journey she daydreamed about getting a book publishing deal for a novel, or finding a job at a small publishing firm 20 minutes away from home. “How’s Connor?” 

“He’s fine,” Nancy said, putting her keys into her bag. “Got a new video game so he’ll be quiet for at least two days, if that,” she snorted. Nancy worked at the nearby hospital, staffing reception in the ER. 

“I, um, might be away for a few days,” Bella told her. “Coach has invited me to a conference in Washington this weekend. If I can get the time off, it’d be nice to drop in on Charlie.” Nancy grinned. 

“That’s awfully nice of Coach,” she said, and Bella internally cringed at the insinuation in her tone. She would never understand why Nancy or Jerome, or even Charlie assumed everyone she spoke to had a crush on her. “Be safe.” 

“It’s not…” Bella sighed, figuring it wasn’t even worth saying. “If I drop you my key, can you water my plants? I’ll let you know the dates as soon as I do.” 

“Of course,” Nancy said. “I best be going.” 

“Hope you have a good shift,” Bella said, never knowing what to say. She once said ‘have fun’ and Nancy laughed at her. 

“See you,” Nancy replied. Bella continued on down the corridor to her own apartment and dropped her bag at the door upon entry. She locked the door, turned the lights on, and checked her answering machine - seeing she had no new messages, she then made herself a salad before flopping down onto the sofa. TV on, passive comedy. Bella ate, zoning in and out of the program as she thought about Coach Jimmy. He wasn’t old, 29 - if she remembered correctly, and though his first name was Simon, everyone called him CJ. 

When Bella had first met him 2 years ago, he was drunk and hitting on a waitress at the bar; some blonde she’d forgotten the name of; the girl hadn’t stayed long. CJ told her about his gym, about the classes, and even dropped her a leaflet just before closing. He’d not remembered her at all when she turned up the following week, interested in his membership program and boxing. In her first year of college, Bella had taken numerous self-defense classes and was working out at the campus gym but she was still a clutz and knew she wouldn’t be able to put her newfound defense skills to use in an actual situation. So, boxing had seemed like a good way to build strength - if she could do it. And she could. CJ had constantly been impressed by her, and she liked that. But she didn’t like him, at least not in that way. He was attractive and physically fit, but he also drank far too much and reminded her of Phil. She rolled her eyes at her thoughts. He didn’t like her either so it didn’t matter. Nancy was just teasing her. It was just a conference, and she was probably the last person he’d asked to go. 

Bella finished her dinner, downed a pint of water, and changed into her work clothes; black jeans, leather ankle boots, and a dark green shirt sporting the bar’s name and logo. She put her leather jacket on too and zipped it up, though it was snug; she managed to fit her phone, key, card, earphones, and pepper spray in the pockets. There was still ten minutes to kill if she didn’t want to be early but her thoughts were dangerously close to reflecting on Forks, so she bailed on the apartment and headed back towards Springfield Road where she’d get the 94 to Morris Avenue. 

The journey wasn’t too vexing once Bella put her earphones in and daydreamed about things only realistic in novels. Whenever she thought such a thing, her mind tried to remind her that her first relationship was also the stuff of fiction and yet it had  happened to her, but such thoughts made her feel sad and frustrated so she actively avoided remembering Forks, High School, and them at all. She walked quickly along the sidewalk, keeping her head down and crossing the street to avoid groups of already drunk people. It was nearly dark despite being only 7:45pm, and Bella felt wary about walking alone at ‘night.’ Hands in her pockets, she had her fist clenched around the pepper spray. The bar, Frays , was a relief to see when she turned the corner. The light-up sign on the outside illuminated the left side of the building, while the right had small windows you could see low light through. Bella took the back entrance in, smiling at greetings from other staff when she entered the break room. 

“Hey, Bells,” Vinnie - a bottle blonde with self-trimmed bangs -  said, her tone reflecting how tired and already done with her shift she was. That was the usual for Vinnie. Bella sometimes felt the same way but she was too glad to have a job that paid as well as it did, and she actually liked Frays. It was a nice bar, played good music, and the people that drank there were usually nice and polite. Sure, they had the occasional creeps stop by, or the rowdy men who didn’t know when to cut the crap, but more often than not; people came to Frays to talk over glasses of wine. “Fancy a cigarette?” Bella was already hanging her jacket up but nodded nevertheless. Smoking was also new. Well, not new-new. She’d started smoking socially shortly after getting the job, but she never bought her own - she gave money to Vinnie, Cleo or Jonathan every once in a while and they gave her cigs whenever she wanted one. “Sweet!” 

They headed out back to light up, and Bella leaned against the wall to the small car lot suitable for six cars at most, cigarette in her hand. 

“Cleo on tonight?” Bella asked. Vinnie mm-mm’d in reply. 

“Nah,” she added after exhaling. “Ben. He’s being a right asshole.” Bella translated that to meaning he wasn’t letting Vinnie slack off and sip beer behind the bar. Bella rather liked Ben, he always gave her things to do, and let her go early if she had plans. He was sure to give her time off. Especially since he was always telling her she should take a holiday or go on a writing retreat, Ben didn’t believe working too much was healthy - but Bella always reminded him time off wasn’t a luxury all could afford; her included… Well, usually. She got a ‘raise’ last month and Renee had sent her some money for her birthday so she had enough to take a week or two off. “I need a drink.” 

As expected, Ben was more than happy to sign Bella off work for ten days starting Friday. He’d wanted to do 14 but Bella insisted she didn’t need that many. Her shift went by quickly, and by 4:15am, she was back home and in bed. Despite how late it was, or how early depending on how you looked at it - she still sent CJ a text to let him know she had the time off and could go with. He replied ten minutes later with a ‘that’s great news!’ and a smiley face. Bella didn’t reply. She rolled onto her front, bare beneath the sheets, and within minutes she was fast asleep. 

The rest of the week flew by, between work, the gym, and drinking herself unconscious with Vinnie at a dance club in Brooklyn, Bella barely stopped. She felt somewhat rough by the time Friday morning rolled around and realized she couldn’t put her phone call with Charlie off any longer. She decided that if he was busy, she’d just meet up with Angela and Jess on Monday, have dinner with Charlie in the evening, and then fly back to New York the following day. Then she could use the rest of her days off to write, or get hideously drunk. But if he was free… Well, she wasn’t sure how long she’d stay in town. She sat up in bed, sighed and retrieved her cell from the bedside table. Chewing on her thumbnail, she called him. 

“Bella, is everything alright?” Charlie asked, answering on the third ring. Bella smiled to herself. Ever the worrier . 

“Everything’s fine, Dad,” Bella replied. She knew it was out of the blue to call him so he was probably convinced she was lying; and that something was actually wrong. Despite how close they got after… he broke up with her and left town, Bella had been rather terrible at staying in touch with either of her parents since she moved. Charlie had tried to call often in the first year but life moved on, he got busier with work and Sue, and Bella only answered the phone when she could mentally cope with listening to Charlie talk about her old school friends and how she should get in touch with them - and him - more. “I’m actually calling because… well, I’m going to be in Washington this weekend with a friend. It’s a sports conference thing, we fly over tonight.” 

“Oh,” Charlie replied, and Bella wasn’t sure if it was a good oh or a bad oh. 

“It’ll be done by Sunday lunch time, and well… I was wondering if you were free next week. I could come and-” 

“I’ll take some time off,” Charlie said, interrupting her. A good oh then. “How long are you here?” Bella considered lying, not wanting to over commit to how long she’d be around but she knew this time would be important to Charlie - and she wasn’t sure how long it’d be before she got around to visiting again. 

“Um, the week?” Bella asked. “I don’t have to be back at work until the 20th.” 

“That’s great,” Charlie replied, sounding pleased. “I’ll let Sue and the kids know.” The kids being Sue’s daughter and son, Leah and Seth. Bella knew they were shapeshifters, wolves, but she hadn’t gotten particularly close with them. Jake… she’d been close with Jake, who was also a shifter, but she hadn’t spoken to him for almost 4 years and in the times she’d been back to Forks, she hadn’t seen him or heard more than the generic stuff about him that Charlie knew. He finished school, had a garage in La Push that he ran with Jared, Sam, and Emily. Bella often thought of being the one to reach out again, but she still felt bad about what happened between them - still felt guilty that she’d hurt him, despite the fact that he’d also hurt her. 

“Great,” Bella said. “CJ will drive me up on Sunday, he might need to sleep on the couch overnight, and then he’ll head off Monday morning.” At least, that’s what Bella assumed he’d be doing. He might not even stay at the house, and she rather hoped he wouldn’t but not offering would be rude. 

“CJ?” Charlie asked, sounding hopeful. Too hopeful. Bella rolled her eyes. 

“Coach Jimmy,” she told him. “And you know he’s just a friend and my trainer, Dad.” 

“I know,” Charlie sighed. There was an awkward silence as Bella tried not to get irritated and tell Charlie there was more to life than relationships, but she knew that would only make things uncomfortable and she didn’t want to be walking on eggshells with him all week. “What does CJ like to eat? I’ll get some takeout for you guys on Sunday night.” 

“I don’t know about CJ,” Bella said, “but I could go with Chinese food.”

Chapter Text

The flight to Washington felt overly long and Bella hated every second of it. CJ had fallen asleep as soon as they’d taken off so Bella had sipped water and listened to music, but it wasn’t enough to distract her like usual. Her mind was circling, spiralling, and she felt sick every time she found herself thinking about Edward or Jacob. CJ asked if she was alright once they’d landed, saying she looked gray . She lied and told him she sometimes felt sick flying, and he was incredibly sympathetic to her plight. 

“We can go for some food if you like,” he said, “before we get the car. You look like you should eat something.” Bella refused, saying she’d rather get to the hotel they were staying in so she could shower and turn in for the night. CJ looked a little put out, mentioning on the drive that he thought they might have a drink at the hotel bar before bed, but Bella wasn’t feeling up to it and she said as much. 

The hotel was small, modern, and smack bang in the middle of the city of Richland. Bella found it lacked any sort of personality but she was relieved to have her room key in hand, and though embarrassed that CJ had insisted on helping, she was glad he’d carried her suitcase up the three flights of stairs to her room. Elevator out of service. She bid him an awkward goodnight and settled in for the night. The room had a double bed in the center , a bathroom which didn’t lock, and a tv on the wall with a poor connection. Still, it was warm enough and simply nice enough for Bella. She put the radio on, took a hot shower, wrapped her hair up in a towel and climbed into bed. Her alarm set for 6:30am, and the lights out, Bella let herself drift out of consciousness. 

CJ met her in the hotel dining area at 7am the next day. He looked fresh-faced and ready for the day in black slacks, a dress shirt, and a loose tie. Bella had never seen him in anything other than sports gear and she hated to admit that he scrubbed up well. It was actually quite distracting to realize he was more attractive than she realized . She’d opted for a square neck, black, sleeveless dress that hugged her figure and stopped mid-thigh with black lace wedges - the only heels she could walk in. Her hair was curled and pinned so that it cascaded down over one shoulder, exposing her left ear that was pierced six times and studded with silver stars. Makeup wise, she went minimal but it was still enough to make CJ’s eyes linger whenever she looked directly at him. 

“Mark and Steve are heading over, they’ll be carpooling with us,” he said, and Bella nodded in acknowledgement as she buttered a piece of toast. She’d had eggs benedict already with a glass of orange juice, but knew the day would be long and she’d need something more. There was apparently a buffet on at lunchtime and they were going out for a meal in the evening with a bunch of CJ’s friends but Bella was anticipating boredom and that was always worse when hungry. “So, when we get there, we’ll be given lanyards and there’ll be an introductory talk in the main hall or conference room. Then we’ll have time to mingle and choose which talks we want to sit in on. I’ve brought notepads and pens for notes.” Bella still couldn’t quite process why CJ had brought her along, she’d never shown any interest in learning about the gym’s company, and CJ knew she would never box for profit. Perhaps he just didn’t want to go alone, or maybe he was hoping to change Bella’s mind about paid matches. She supposed she couldn’t complain, the hotel, food, and travel was all free. She just hoped CJ stopped staring at her otherwise she was going to convince herself Nancy had been right. 

The day passed slowly but Bella enjoyed the social aspects. CJ’s friends were funny, especially Steve, and she didn’t hate the small talk at dinner as much as she thought she would. She was sitting in the hotel bar with a glass of red, her shoes kicked off next to her, when Steve returned from the bathroom. Mark and CJ were playing a game of pool, arguing about some boxing match from the 70s. 

“You know,” Steve said, “you are stunning.” Bella laughed at him, definitely drunk, and shook her head in disbelief. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair had fallen out of its pins, but she was still bright-eyed and her makeup hadn’t smudged. She did, however, have wine stains on the corners of her lips but Steve was also drunk and couldn’t tell. “You are,” he insisted, swaying in his seat. “I can’t believe you don’t know it.” 

“Who’s to say I don’t?” Bella asked, slurring her words slightly. She took another sip of her wine and snorted. Steve was shaking his head wildly. 

“You don’t,” he replied. “You don’t. I can tell. I can tell. ” 

“I need more wine,” Bella said, ignoring him. Steve snorted and looked dramatically forlorn as he stared at her, watching her finish her glass. He reached over and placed a hand on her thigh. 

“You, Bella,” he said slowly and louder than necessary, “are a gorgeous woman. You - you could have anyone you wanted and yet you’re single. What’s with that?” Bella frowned. 

“Relationships are complicated,” she shrugged. “People get hurt. I,” she pointed at herself, “get hurt.” Steve sucked his bottom lip for a moment as Bella tried to hail the bartender with her finger. 

“I would never hurt you,” Steve said. “Really, Bella,” he added, squeezing her thigh. “I think you should believe me. I know - I know we’ve only known each other, what…? Like 15 hours, but you can trust me. I would never hurt you.” Bella rolled her eyes and swayed. 

“You are full of it,” she told him, and laughed again. Steve looked put out but then laughed too when Bella tried to order another glass of wine but kept mispronouncing the name. Eventually she just pointed at her glass and said, “Another!” 

“Well, how about I just prove it to you tonight,” Steve pushed on, trailing his hand further up her thigh. “You don’t have to date me but I think… I think we could have fun together.” Bella looked back at him, vision hazy, and looked to think about it for a moment. In actuality, she was trying to coach herself through not burping because she knew she’d quite possibly throw up. No part of her wanted to sleep with Steve, as funny as he was. He wasn’t as attractive as CJ and she didn’t want to sleep with him either. In fact, all she wanted to do was take her new glass of wine up to her room and have a bath. Maybe she’d pleasure herself, maybe she’d just eat a granola bar and fall asleep. But the point was, she was going to have to let Steve down gently and she honestly couldn’t be bothered with it. 

“I’m good,” she said brazenly, though she made no attempt to remove his hand. Steve looked shocked for a second and then chuckled. 

“I’m hurt, Bella,” he said, but Bella didn’t think he truly was. “Very hurt.” 

“I would go and try flirting with that woman,” Bella said, pointing to a pretty red-haired woman on the other side of the room, sitting with her friends. “She gave you a look when we got back earlier.” 

“Which one?” Steve asked, swinging around to look. “She’s nice,” he agreed. “Not as sexy as you but I wouldn’t say no.” 

“You have better chances,” Bella said, though she wasn’t completely sure he did. After all, the woman could still say no. She probably would. Bella didn’t care though, she just wanted his attention redirected. “I am gonna call it a night.” 

“No,” Steve whined. He was so loud that Mark and CJ looked over from the pool table. 

“No, what?” CJ called. 

“Bella’s ditching us,” Steve told them. 

“Don’t go yet, Bella,” CJ said, abandoning the pool table and walking over. Mark used his hand to pot a few of his own balls while CJ’s back was turned. 

“It’s like three am,” Bella said, struggling to her feet. She crouched down to get her shoes and wobbled as she rose again. “I’m tired. We have more stuff in the morning.” 

“I could come with,” Steve purred. Bella snorted. 

“I already said no, dude,” she told him and he held his hands up in surrender. 

“Fine, fine,” he said, “but you’re missing out.” 

“I’m sure,” Bella replied flatly. 

“Want me to walk you up?” CJ asked, placing his hand on Bella’s lower back. She shook her head and leaned forward to collect her wine glass. CJ let his hand slide over her backside as she did so and she made a sound of disapproval. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said, moving away. If she was sober, she’d probably have shoved him, possibly slapped him, and definitely called him out for being inappropriate but being drunk, she was too preoccupied on not spilling her drink. “I’ll see you all in the morning.” She stumbled away from them and took herself up the stairs, losing track of time as she went; the stairs seemed to go on forever. When she reached her room, she had to put her drink down on the ground so that she could find her room key in her bag, and then she took herself and the wine inside. 

She groaned at the sound of her alarm clock the next morning, her head sore and stomach flipping. It took her three attempts to turn the alarm off and three more attempts to climb out of bed. She went to the bathroom, threw up, brushed her teeth and drank some water. It was 7am before she was able to get dressed, but she felt too rough to do her makeup again. She donned dress pants, a grey blouse and her leather jacket, and threw her hair up into a messy bun. Breakfast was a quiet affair, CJ didn’t turn up and Bella was rather pleased. She had hazy memories of the night before but could remember the countless times he and his friends had hit on her, despite her discouragement. 

When CJ finally emerged, Bella was on her way back up to her room to pack, and she purposefully avoided him so she didn’t have to stop. He called in on her room at 7:45. 

“Morning,” he said, sporting sunglasses. He was wearing similar clothes to the day before, except they were slightly more creased and thrown together. 

“Hey,” Bella said awkwardly. “I’ve got my things sorted.” 

“Same,” he muttered, oblivious to her discomfort. “We’ll put them in the car and leave it here to collect after.” There were only two more talks at the conference hall and then it was done, and CJ would be driving Bella to Forks. Bella was still trying not to think too much about the journey, or the fact that she’d be there for a whole week. 

“Will you be alright to drive?” Bella asked. 

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Mom,” CJ scoffed. Bella found the response rather irritating but kept her mouth shut. “Let’s go.” 

Bella barely listened to a word of any of the talks, she doodled in the notebook CJ had given her the day before, and drank lots of fluids. CJ looked to be asleep at one point, and Bella was just thankful he didn’t start snoring. He stood around outside after the last session, talking to people and laughing at things they said. Bella waited patiently by the front doors. She smiled tightly when she saw Steve exit the conference hall but he didn’t acknowledge her, and Bella watched with a clenching gut as a heavily pregnant woman - possibly younger than herself - clutched at his arm. He laughed at something she said as she leaned in and wrapped his arm around her waist. Rage ignited in her gut and she openly glowered, furious that Steve - or any man for that matter - would cheat on his partner. She stalked forwards, ready to confront the man that had been touching up her leg less than 10 hours ago, but she was intercepted by CJ who had caught sight of her and her fury. 

“Woah,” he said, leading her back to where she’d been standing out of the way. Bella pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Let it go, Bella,” he said, tone pleading. 

“What?” She asked, regarding him and then she realized CJ knew. “You knew. You watched him flirt with me and touch me and buy me drinks last night, and you knew.” 

“It was harmless, Bella,” CJ tried to explain, having the audacity to look sheepish. “He’d never have acted on any of that. He loves his wife.” 

“His wife?” Bella asked, loudly. Appalled. CJ glanced around to make sure nobody had heard. 

“Bella,” CJ sighed, frowning. “Look, I get that you’re upset but Nina doesn’t need to know. It would just upset her. She and Steve are happy.” 

“I bet they are,” Bella growled. “While she’s at home, pregnant, he’s out flirting with random women.” She felt dirty and somehow slightly responsible for his actions, and was more than relieved that she’d been coherent enough to refuse his advances in the early hours - despite how drunk she was. CJ looked to be thinking, trying to explain to her in a way that would make her realize Steve was still actually a pretty stand up guy and she wasn’t seeing the bigger picture, and Bella realized in that second that CJ was actually incredibly ugly. Even in his stupid suit. “Let’s just get out of here,” Bella said, stopping him from saying whatever awful thing he’d come up with in his head to justify his friend’s grotesque behaviour. 

“Okay, sure,” CJ said. “I’ve just got to-” 

“Now,” Bella insisted, snapping. She stalked away from him and out of the building; angry and frustrated, wanting to turn around and tell Nina about what a piece of shit her husband was. Surely Nina would want to know. If it were her, she would want to know. Wouldn’t she? She growled in frustration and when she realize d CJ wasn’t behind her, she continued walking until she eventually got back to the hotel parking lot. She stood by the car, hugging her stomach, and trying not to scream. When CJ eventually caught up, he was carrying two cups of takeout coffee and Bella was very close to telling him to fuck off with his peace offering. She sat in the passenger seat of the car, stewing in silence, and after attempting to make small talk several times, CJ sighed and put the radio on. Bella turned to look out the window and closed her eyes, wishing she’d never agreed to come at all. 

Chapter Text

By the time they reached Forks, Bella was feeling beyond nauseous and needed space away from CJ. In the past two hours, he’d gotten tired of the silent treatment and they’d had an argument over Steve and Nina. Bella made it pretty clear how she felt about the situation, and CJ made it pretty clear there was nothing she could do about it now given Steve and Nina would be on their way home and she had no way of contacting them - and it wouldn’t be through him. CJ had then made the mistake of asking if Bella’s anger was in response to jealousy because she’d liked Steve. Bella’s “I don’t like any of you” had brought them back to driving in silence. When they passed the Welcome to Forks sign, Bella had to take deep breaths and willed herself to stop reacting like a love-scorned teenager. When CJ asked her which way to go to get to her house, she told him to pull over. 

“I can drop you off, Bella,” CJ sighed, exhausted. “Look, I know we’re going to have to agree to disagree on this but… you’re still my friend, I don’t want this to come between us.” Bella’s head was pounding. 

“Just stop the car,” she pleaded. CJ pulled over, hearing the urgency in her voice. She opened the door and climbed out, pacing for a few minutes to take in the fresh air. CJ climbed out. 

“I won’t stay,” he said, “just let me drop you off.” They were parked on the side of the road, not far from the hospital, and Bella knew she could walk home in less than 20 minutes. She’d rather do that than have Charlie insist CJ come inside and stay for food, or insist he stay the night. Bella wasn’t sure their friendship would recover, she felt far too disgusted with him. What was it about men that made them think hurting their partners was okay? Lying, cheating, walking away. Why couldn’t they just be honest and kind? “Please, Bella.” Bella turned to look at him, ready to cuss out his views and his shitty friend, but as she looked at him, she glanced over his shoulder towards the hospital parking l ot and her gaze met that of Sam Uley’s. He was standing beside a car, wearing shorts and a t- shirt, openly staring their way. Bella felt exposed and uncomfortable, remembering how the whole shifter thing worked - how the pack shared memories and thoughts in their wolf forms. She didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about her, she didn’t want Jake thinking she was the bitch he’d called her when they’d last spoken. 

“Okay,” she said, looking back at CJ. “Sure.” She climbed back into the car and pulled the door shut. CJ, somewhat surprised she had complied so quickly, took a moment to process before getting back in too and following Bella’s quietly mumbled directions. When he pulled up outside Charlie’s house, Bella stared at the front door and sighed quietly. “You look done in,” CJ said gently, turning off the engine. Bella was tired, she couldn’t be bothered pretending she wasn’t. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry this is how our trip turned out.” 

“Yeah,” Bella muttered, sourness returning to her voice. “Sure.” She climbed out, collected her things and made her way towards the front door, not bothering to turn around and see CJ off. As she approached, the front door was opened and Charlie smiled at her for a second before frowning. 

“Bella,” he said, worried. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Bella lied, badly at that, as she climbed the porch steps. “I’m just tired.” 

Bella slept terribly. The wind was loud, the rain was loud, Charlie’s snoring was loud. Her room was like an unchanged, cold, tomb and she wanted to throw all of the furniture away. Start anew. Beg Charlie to use it as an office or something, and she’d sleep on the sofa or at a hotel the next time she visited. When sunlight broke over her curtains, she’d been awake for nearly two hours already; unable to stop thinking. 

When Charlie suggested they go out for breakfast, Bella was relieved to leave the house but even that feeling reminded her of when she first arrived in Forks, 17, and less jaded. They ate at The Carver Cafe, familiar faces greeting her though she’d never done well remembering their names. Bella ate scrambled eggs and drank her coffee black, lost in her own thoughts as Charlie desecrated an oily breakfast sandwich with a fork. 

“How was the conference?” Charlie asked. They’d barely spoken about it the night before. Bella had listened to all the updates of Sue, Seth, and Leah - and Charlie’s work, too. They’d spoken briefly about Bella’s job, about the gym, and Bella’s non-existent plans to continue her education with a Masters Degree. Charlie was intuitive enough to sense when Bella didn’t want to talk about something, but he also wasn’t so impolite as to pretend everything was alright. Bella shrugged. 

“It was alright,” she said. “Lots of talking. Wasn’t really my thing.” 

“Did Coach Jimmy enjoy it?” 

“I think so.” 

“He didn’t say?” 

“I didn’t ask,” Bella said, a little too sharply. Charlie regarded her and Bella sighed, using her fork to move leftover crumbs around on her plate. “We had an argument and I’m still angry about it. I don’t think I’ll be hanging out with him any time soon.” Charlie let a silence fall over the table for a few minutes, and Bella could tell he was trying to ask without coming across as insensitive. She decided to get it over and done with. “His friend Steve was hitting on me a lot, like a lot a lot. I didn’t encourage it. I said no when he asked to…” Bella paused, distinctly uncomfortable with talking to Charlie about sex, even if it hadn’t happened. Charlie’s face hardened. 

“He didn’t force himself on you, did-?” 

“No,” Bella said quickly. “No,” she said again once he looked recovered from his own assumption. “I’m fine. It’s just… after the conference yesterday, I saw him with a pregnant woman that CJ then informed me was his wife.” Bella huffed, dropping her fork. “And…” her jaw clenched, “I wanted to call him out. Tell his wife. Kick him in the balls. Something! But CJ told me to let it go.” Bella glanced up at Charlie to gauge his reaction and was relieved to see that he too looked annoyed. 

“And did you?” 

“I stormed out,” Bella admitted, though now she felt even more guilty that she didn’t tell Nina then and there. “CJ brought it up again in the car and I sort of... exploded. He kept saying they were happy, that nothing actually happened, that telling Nina would just upset everyone and they were having a baby.” Bella shook her head. “And all I could think was that if it were me, I’d want to know.” 

“Sounds like CJ doesn’t actually care for Nina,” Charlie muttered. “He’s just protecting his friend.” Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, and that your Coach is a douche.” Bella snorted and Charlie cracked a smile. 

“A douche?” 

“Seth says it all the time,” he admitted. “I started saying it as a joke but now I can’t stop. It’s a real problem, Bella. I hate it.” They both chuckled and Bella felt at least a little tension ease from her shoulders. She’d forgotten what it was like to have an honest conversation with Charlie. They were rare but did happen on occasion and Bella truly appreciated them, especially when Charlie agreed with her on something. “I know it’s uncomfortable,” he eventually said, “and you probably feel complicit in this Steve guy’s deceit but you’ve done nothing wrong, Bella. His cheating is on him. She’ll find out - it may not be today or tomorrow, but eventually.” 

“Then surely I should have said something, saved her heartache down the road,” Bella frowned, wishing someone could have done that for her. 

“She’s going to hurt just as much then as she would now,” Charlie said sadly. “And I’m not saying she shouldn’t know. I’m saying that it’s not your responsibility to tell her, Bells. You made the right decision not calling him out in public.” Bella wished his words reassured her but she still felt as though she should have done more. “Believe me, people do not like having their laundry aired. Chances are, she would have been angry at you, not him.” 

“I’d be fine with that,” Bella said. Charlie gave her a sympathetic smile. 

“Let yourself off the hook,” he said. “If you still want to do something about it next week, ask Coach Jimmy for the guy’s contact details. If he refuses, say your Dad’s a cop with a gun.” Bella rolled her eyes. Because police brutality was something to joke about. “Is anything else on your mind?” Charlie asked, and Bella’s chest tightened. She knew what he was hinting at, what he always hinted at. What they never ever spoke about, even though they both knew the reason she avoided calls and coming home to visit. 

“Like what?” She asked, feigning ignorance. Charlie pressed his lips into a firm line but decided against pushing. 

“I was just wondering,” he muttered. “So, what do you feel like doing this week?” 

The rest of the morning passed slowly and as pleasantly as Bella expected. They didn’t broach any more tense topics of conversation, and when Charlie suggested they visit Billy, he accepted Bella’s refusal the f irst time. When she encouraged him to go alone, he regretted asking at all. Despite this small hiccup, they stuck together and travelled to Port Angeles. Bella figured shopping was better than sitting around inside the house and Charlie didn’t seem to mind, he even perked up when they entered a sports store and Bella told him about the sneakers she wore when boxing. After lunch at a fast food joint, they briefly parted ways. Bella was going to look in Barnes & Noble despite her aversion to chain stores, while Charlie went to buy some groceries having received a list from Sue. 

The store wasn’t particularly busy so Bella could browse in private, free to pick books up and put them back. She read the back of at least eight, dismayed that she hadn’t found anything she liked, when she felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck. She placed the book in her hand back on the shelf, conscious that her heart was beginning to beat faster. Something horribly familiar came back to her, something she didn’t realize she’d remember so clearly when she felt it again - if she ever felt it again. The presence of a vampire was a strange thing. In most humans, it triggered discomfort or anxiety, but to Bella… it made her feel seen. Well, it used to. Now, she felt exposed. And alone. And horribly confused. Her mind reeled, her prayers begging it not to be him , hell she’d even prefer to see Victoria in that moment. She swallowed and turned quickly, anticipating whoever was behind her to have disappeared but they hadn’t… he hadn’t. Bella’s thoughts crashed into one another, her throat dry; chest impossibly tight. Despite this, she managed to rasp out a fairly confused, “what the fuck?” before choking on air and coughing violently. Jasper at least had the decency to look sheepish. 

“Are you alright?” Jasper asked, his Southern Accent thicker than Bella remembered, but she was too preoccupied with her inner chaos of emotion to question it. Bella forcefully regained composure, despite the tickle at the back of her throat. She regarded Jasper with a wild look in her eyes and he grimaced, able to feel just how negative the majority of her emotions were. Bella, now angry that Jasper was standing before her, laughed bitterly and repeated, 

“What the fuck?” Jasper was surprised to hear her swear for a second time, this time more decisively and with fury. “What’re you doing here? Why are you here? Are… is…?” 

“I’m sorry to drop in on you like this,” Jasper replied, “and I know you’ve got tons of questions. I’ll explain, but I don’t think I should do it here.” Bella glanced around, unsure as to why not, given they were alone for the most part; the nearest person on the other side of the store, but she didn’t argue the point. Instead, she seethed internally, and decided she didn’t want to know. 

“You need to leave me be,” she told him and Jasper regarded her, his face stoic but his eyes sharp. “I mean it,” she warned. “You don’t get to swing by and fuck up my life all over again.” 

“Bella…” Jasper frowned. She felt sick. Physically sick. “I know we hurt you when we left,” he said. “It hurt us too, all of us. We didn’t want to disappear from your life but… I was a danger to you, and-” 

“Please stop,” Bella said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know that you felt bad, that you cared. You have no idea what it did to me. I have spent years getting over him and everything that happened. I don’t need this.” 

“I know,” Jasper said quietly, “and we’d leave you right now and stay away because you asked us to but you’re in danger.” Bella threw her hands up in the air, confused as to how she was supposed to process that. She wanted to say ‘ of course I am, you’re here ’ but she didn’t truly believe Jasper would actually hurt her. If he was going to, he would have done it already and probably not beside the Teen Fiction in Barnes & Noble. “Please, Bella, let us explain.” 

Bella sat rigid in the passenger-side seat of Jasper’s car, her stomach queasy, and her head pounding. She honestly thought the stress might give her a nosebleed which would be a deadly thing to happen considering who she was next to. “Explain,” she said, hating the way Jasper was watching her. She hated that he still looked 18, that he hadn’t changed in the slightest when she had changed so much. 

“Alice saw a vision of you bein’ killed by a vampire,” he said. Bella bit her tongue, stopping herself from asking why, if Alice was still watching visions of her, none of them had bothered to get in touch beforehand, when she was starving herself in College or when she was so depressed she could barely leave the house in senior year.

“Why are you here?” Bella asked. “Why not Alice or someone else?” It was obvious to the both of them that she meant Edward. Jasper was more still than he used to be, and Bella wondered if it was because he was struggling with being so close to her. Why would he have brought her back to his car if it was going to be more difficult for him? 

“A lot has happened since we last saw you,” he confessed, voice tight with an emotion Bella couldn’t decipher. “When I tried to attack you at your birthday party, the family was angry. I felt awful. Monstrous. I wanted to leave, to protect you, to protect our family.” Bella folded her arms, trying desperately not to let his words penetrate the steel-trap door she’d buried that particular memory under. “Alice didn’t want me to, of course. She kept tryin’ to tell me that you’d forgive me, that everythin’ was alright but Edward was furious. He wanted me gone. When he realised that wasn’t goin’ to happen, he decided we should all leave.” A small part of Bella knew it was unfair of her to think so but she wondered just how differently things might have turned out if Jasper had simply left. She wouldn’t have dated Jake, wouldn’t have messed up their friendship beyond repair. Wouldn’t have burned bridges with most of her school friends, distanced herself from anyone who cared about her. Christ, she’d made some awful decisions for the fear of being left again. 

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” Bella muttered, hating how weak her voice sounded; how clearly distraught she still was over such a small thing that happened years ago. 

“We’re very sorry, Bella,” he said and Bella frowned further, confused at how she felt and how she wanted to feel about his continued apologies. “We wanted to, but Edward thought it would make things harder for you. Make it more distressin’.” Bella laughed darkly. 

“More distressing,” she seethed. “And what? All of you with your lengthy lifespans and your medical degrees didn’t realise it would actually hurt me more?” 

“The angier you were with us, the less likely you were to look for us after we left,” he said quietly. 

“Oh,” Bella spat, “so it all went to plan then? Great. Kudos to you guys for being so fucking right.” Jasper looked away, and Bella hoped he felt guilty, felt ashamed on behalf of himself and his entire family. “So what’s the plan now? Huh? Follow me around until the killer vampire shows up, kill it, and disappear again?” 

“No, not if you don’t want us to,” Jasper said gently, and Bella’s fury dampened a little bit as she stared at him. Part of her dared to hope he was saying they’d stick around, that they’d all come back and she’d feel loved and secure and happy again, but she was too angry, too broken, too hurt to forgive them. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bella raised her brows, waiting for an explanation but Jasper leaned back into his seat and looked out through his window for a long minute. Bella, close to telling him to fuck off with his protection detail, ground her teeth in irritation. “No?” She asked, prompting him to at least reply. 

“It’s complicated,” Jasper managed to say and Bella rolled her eyes. 

“Whatever,” she said, refusing to extract information from him. If he wasn’t going to explain himself, why say anything at all? Bella clenched and unclenched her fists as she thought. A vampire was going to try and kill her, that wasn’t a first but it was certainly more unwelcome news now she was effectively unprotected. Jasper was only one vampire, after all. If the others came back too, what would she do? Would she cope? Did she even want their help? The stubborn part of her said no, she’d rather take her chances, but she also didn’t want to die. Depression kicked her ass but she wasn’t suicidal and turning Jasper away was certainly that. “I’m only around till the 19th, then I head back to New Jersey,” she told him. “I can’t stay away longer. I need my job.” 

“Alice didn’t give me a time frame,” Jasper admitted. “But she said the attack happened in Forks. If you’ve got plans for leaving, I’d say that means whoever is after you will show up within the next week.” Bella was relieved Jasper wasn’t about to suggest she stick around longer, she certainly would have told him where to go if he showed an inclination of taking control over her life - no matter how temporarily. 

“What’s your plan?” Bella asked him, assuming he had one. 

“Our plan,” Jasper corrected and Bella had to close her eyes and take a deep breath, realising it really wasn’t just Jasper that planned to have her back. Jasper, piecing together her complex emotions, realised her assumption. “It’s just Alice and I,” he told her, and Bella visibly deflated with relief. “She’s in Forks meeting with Sam and the pack.” 

“Asking for help?” Bella asked, somewhat surprised. She figured the Cullens must have known about the pack, though they never told her. Just another deceit to add to the list. “It’s just one vampire, right?” Jasper nodded. 

“Yes, but we wanted to give Sam and the others a heads up,” he replied. “Should the vampire stick to their side of the treaty line, we’ll need their help.” Bella guessed that made sense but she hated the thought of Jake finding out. Would he care? Would he want to help? Would he think it served her right? She felt tears demanding to burn in her eyes but willed them away, refusing to cry over Jake again, she’d done enough of that four years ago. Jasper sat quietly, trying to muddle through Bella’s emotions, unable to decipher which ones were aimed at him, the situation, or something else. He couldn’t help but be concerned that none of her emotions  reflected  fear. “I forgot how brave you are,” he said quietly, almost as if he was simply talking to himself. Bella didn’t know what to say. 

“Brave?” She asked. It wasn’t a word she’d use to describe herself. 

“Even in imminent danger, you have no fear. Even sitting here with me - alone.” 

“I was never afraid of you, Jasper,” Bella said, though she hated having to say as much; she was still angry with him, and she knew she would be for a very long time - if not always. Forgiveness was something she’d been lacking for a few years now. 

“I know,” Jasper replied. “I’ll never get used to that.” 

“You won’t have to,” Bella said, knowing he and Alice weren’t going to follow her back to New Jersey - no matter if she didn’t want to lose them again. Jasper’s jaw tightened ever so slightly. “I should go find Charlie.” 

“He’s at the checkout now,” Jasper said, and Bella shot him a look that said she hadn’t asked. She opened the door and climbed out, and then turned back to bend down and  look at him. Before she asked, he said, “I’ll be close by. If you need me, just say so.” Bella didn’t need to tell him she wouldn’t, it was clear by the look on her face. She shut the door and crossed the street, heading in the direction of the store Charlie was shopping in.

Chapter Text

It was nearing 9pm when Bella’s phone buzzed. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, reading a book review on her laptop, a bowl of reheated chow mien next to her. Despite how gut punching her morning had been, Bella had managed to push through the urge to both scream and immediately flee back to New York. She and Charlie talked about her writing - though she hated to admit she hadn’t done much lately - on the drive back to Forks, then they’d watched an adaption of Pride and Prejudice on the TV. Charlie had fallen asleep ten minutes in but Bella didn’t mind. In fact, she found it easier to reflect on everything that Jasper had said without Charlie’s sixth sense activating - the sense being that he could detect whenever something serious was on her mind. Since then, she’d returned to the solitude of her room and attempted to write something- anything, but the blank word document stared defiantly back at her for too long so she googled some random things to read instead; distracting herself from spiralling. Every time her eyes glazed over, she found herself thinking of things she should have said to Jasper instead; things like ‘if you were so hurt by leaving me, why did you never come back?’ 

She picked up her phone and frowned at the unknown number. Opening it, she tensed. 

Unknown: Jasper has gone to hunt. I’m nearby. Can we talk? 

Bella sighed, rubbed her face with her free hand, and chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t want to see Alice, didn’t want to hear the excuses, the additional ‘it hurt us too.’ It had irritated her enough hearing it from Jasper. Bella didn’t think she could hold back from cussing Alice out given her supposed ex-best friend could see just how much she had struggled, and done nothing. 

Unknown: Please, Bella. 

She sat back, propped up against her pillows, and switched to chewing her thumb nail instead. After Edward, Alice leaving had hurt her the most. Alice who had acted like her sister, who had said time and time again that she’d foreseen Bella as a vampire with Edward, who made Bella believe she cared. What kind of friend did that? And even if Edward had insisted none of them said goodbye, why had Alice listened? She tried to swallow the lump that formed at the back of her throat and dropped her phone to the bed beside her. In the first year after they’d left, she’d tried to send email after email to Alice but none of them had been delivered, surely Alice had foreseen her writing them though. Surely she’d witnessed just how close to hell Bella was. Anger replaced the sadness in her stomach and she picked her phone up again. Her fingers typed out the words ‘I have nothing to say to you’ first, but then she deleted it, knowing that it was a lie. She had a lot of choice things she would say if Alice was to appear in her bedroom. 

Bella: I don’t want to hear what you have to say. 

Instead of waiting around for Alice’s reply, Bella irritably turned off her cell and closed her laptop. She got to her feet and paced for a while, needing to expel her anger before she broke something. Despite it being rather late, she put some workout music on and freed herself of her jeans, swapping them for shorts so she could do some push-ups on the floor. The carpet was itchy beneath her bare skin but she was too worked up to care. Ten minutes later, Charlie knocked on the door and waited. When Bella didn’t respond, he opened it slightly and poked his head round. 

“Bella?” He asked. Bella ignored him; she was on her second set of reps, her face red. “Is everything alright?” 

“Fine,” Bella lied, not stopping. Charlie watched her for a minute and then moved further into the room. He glanced around, seeing if there were any clues as to why his daughter was working out so late at night. Bella, frustrated that he hadn’t left, reached 50 and got to her feet. “I’m gonna go for a run.” 

“Now?” He asked, confused. 

“Yeah,” Bella said, grabbing her hoodie that she’d hung over the back of her desk chair. 

“Has something happened?” Bella turned to look at him, harsh words telling him to mind his own business on the tip of her tongue, but they fizzled out when she saw his concerned gaze. She wished she could tell him Alice and Jasper were back so she could feel validated in her anger when he vented about their audacity too, but there’d be more questions to answer and she wouldn’t want him to go looking for a confrontation. She sighed, knowing she had to say something. 

“Just… Old memories,” she shrugged, he frowned. 

“You know you can talk to me,” he said. Bella smiled ever so slightly, looking down at the floor. If only she could, but she could never put him in that kind of danger - plus chances were, without proof, he would never believe her. They stood in silence until Charlie sighed, he knew he’d have to accept that Bella still wasn’t ready. Bella watched as he sat down on the edge of her bed, hunched forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Have you ever spoken to anyone? A friend, at least?” 

“Vaguely,” Bella admitted. She’d spoken to Nancy a few times, obviously emitting that Edward was a vampire and Jacob was a werewolf. “It doesn’t help,” she added. “I’m still… angry.” Charlie was surprised at that, he’d always thought Bella was still heartbroken, still upset. He never expected her to be angry, but he was glad to hear it. “I just need to go for a run.” She donned her hoodie and zipped it up while Charlie picked up her phone and held it out to her. She thought about taking it, about turning it back on and using it for music as she ran but she knew she’d probably throw it away in anger if Alice had sent her more messages. “It’s dead,” she lied. Charlie looked unconvinced but he put it down when he saw the screen was black. 

“Want some company?” 

“You run?” Bella asked. Charlie sat up and puffed out his chest. 

“Occasionally,” he replied defensively. Bella smirked at him and he rolled his eyes. “Sue says I should start. Thinks I eat too many bad fats, whatever that means.” Bella considered taking him along but she reminded herself that there was a vampire out for her blood; she didn’t want to put Charlie in danger. Well, more than she already had. 

“Maybe some other time?” She offered. “I just need to blow off steam.” He looked both relieved and disappointed at her response but nodded, accepting her answer. Bella gave him a weak smile before she grabbed her key, stuffed it into her pocket, and headed outside the house. She exhaled a few clouds of mist then jogged on the spot, forgetting how much colder Forks was, not that she’d notice it after a power run. She chose a direction and took off, sticking to the pavement, a recitation of self-defense moves flicking through her mind. 

The next morning she woke up with a familiar burn in her limbs that made her feel good. She climbed out of bed, showered, and dressed in high waist jeans with a rib-knit striped tee. She felt in control. She felt oddly more at ease, and knew if she wanted the feelings to continue, she had to take charge. Letting Jasper and Alice protect her from afar, making whatever plans without her, made her feel young and vulnerable - and she wasn’t either of those things, not anymore. She had turned her phone back on last night after her run, Alice hadn’t sent her any more texts for which she was glad, but now Bella was opening the conversation and typing a new message. 

Bella: I want a meeting with you, Jasper, and Sam. 

Unknown: I’ll see what I can do. 

Bella huffed but put her phone away. She went downstairs for some breakfast and ended up eating porridge beside Charlie who was reading the newspaper with glasses on. Bella kept smirking at him and he kept huffing. 

“Yes, I wear reading glasses now,” he said after the third look. 

“They suit you,” Bella said, smiling at his mild irritation. “Very middle-aged. ” He made a point of ignoring her. Then asked, 

“What’re you up to today?” 

“I’m gonna try to meet up with some friends,” Bella said, though she wouldn’t call Alice, Jasper, or Sam a friend but she knew it would please Charlie to think she was seeing people from school. 

“I’m glad,” he said, which Bella translated to ‘it’s about time.’ They chatted some more about sports, fishing, even commute times to New York as they ate - then Bella got some things together and left. Alice hadn’t given her confirmation of a meeting yet let alone a time but Bella needed to be productive; something that felt unattainable sitting around in the house. She realized rather sporadically as she walked across the gravel of the driveway that she missed her truck; it hadn’t made the journey with her to New York and Charlie had agreed to let it go when her second year of college started. The walk into town wasn’t too bad despite the crisp October morning; Bella made it to the town’s one and only bar before the rain started. She knew it was open early and served basic dishes so she ordered a club sandwich and a soda, choosing a table in the far corner to sit at. The only other people in so far were two elderly gentlemen who were watching sports reruns on a television Bella suspected was older than her. She ate slowly, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windows, and took out her phone. Scrolling through her contacts, she found Angela who was saved under the name Handsome Specks - a change Angela had made herself while drunk at a house party in Senior year. 

Bella: Guess who’s in your local bar wishing it wasn’t too early for a pint? 

Handsome Specks: Are you serious? How long have you been in town?! 

Bella: Since Sunday night, got in pretty late. Took me a little while to adjust. You free? 

Handsome Specks: I start work in an hour but we can hang later? I finish at 3 

Bella was a little disappointed but realized it was silly of her to have assumed Angela would be free just because she was in town. The spectacle wearing brunette worked at the local Thriftway, usually on registers, throughout the week but was also a freelance photographer that occasionally traveled to do weddings. 

Bella: Meet you at yours?

Handsome Specks: Cool! Want to invite Jess? 

Bella: Sure 

She wasn’t as excited to see Jess, but she was intrigued about how well she was doing. Jess and Mike were now engaged, expecting their first child, and while Mike worked at the Olympic Outfitters with his parents, Jess was studying business online. Bella was genuinely happy for them. She just didn’t like the way Jess made it seem like anything less than the All-American family lifestyle wasn’t worth doing. At least Angela understood wanting a creative occupation, even if it wasn’t financially doable full-time . 

An hour later, Bella received a text message from Alice as she was wandering over to the library, a two story b lock with just enough funding to keep it open. 

Unknown: Sam can meet in an hour. Want us to pick you up? 

Bella: Location? 

Unknown: Treaty line. La Push Road. 

Bella: I’ll meet you there.

Chapter Text

The rain was a light drizzle by the time Bella made it to the rendezvous spot, her hair soaked from walking in the rain; she felt rather revitalized by the experience. The cold, however, she still wasn’t fond of. Jasper and Alice were already waiting by the side of the road, sitting in Jasper’s silver Mercedes. As she walked nearer, both doors opened and Bella took a deep breath; readying herself for the first time she would see Alice since her 18th birthday party. Bella kept her eyes on the road until she was standing a few feet away, only then did she look up. Like Jasper, it was rather painful to see Alice hadn’t physically changed at all. It made Bella feel old which was bizarre considering she knew both Alice and Jasper were immortal beings born lifetimes ago. Alice stood, staring, and Bella knew by the downward curve of her lips that she wanted to reach out and hug Bella, but she didn’t. Bella was relieved. The anger she’d felt thinking about everything was replaced by a gutting sadness, and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Jasper stepped forwards, drawing her attention, concern on his face. 

“Deep breaths, Bella,” he said, and she felt him ease her turmoil to something manageable. She immediately felt embarrassed that they’d witnessed her break in composure, and stepped back to put more space between herself and them. 

“Bella,” Alice said sadly and Bella clenched her jaw at the sound of her voice. How she used to dream she’d receive a phone call with Alice on the other end, telling her they’d made a mistake and that they were coming back for her. Now, though, it only made Bella feel conflicted and sick. “I’m so sorry, Bella. I’m so sorry.” The tone was hard to swallow too because Bella imagined that if Alice could cry, she would. It made her feel guilty, which in turn made her feel annoyed. It was them that should feel guilty, not her. She was just responding to seeing someone upset, knowing she could comfort her if she wanted to. “We thought we were saving you, doing what was best to keep you safe.” Bella smiled to herself in disbelief, looking almost manic in her rising irritation. 

“Please, don’t,” she said, leveling Alice with a look devoid of any fondness. “I don’t want to know.” Both Alice and Jasper looked forlorn but Bella didn’t - couldn’t - trust that it was genuine. If being abandoned by people who considered her family had taught her anything, it was that callousness wore many faces, and vampires were professional in deceit. Fortunately for Bella, Sam emerged from the trees wearing only shorts. She was envious of his ability to stay warm now as they stood on the empty road, rain soaking through her sweater. 

“Bella,” Sam greeted. Though she was feeling incredibly on edge, she was still able to be genuinely pleased at seeing Sam; she walked forward with no hesitation to accept his one-armed hug. During the year she and Jake had dated, most of the pack had treated her like a family friend, even though everyone was aware Jake hadn’t actually imprinted on her. She used to hang out at Sam and Emily’s, baking muffins which Jake, Sam, and Jared would inevitably eat within minutes of them being served. 

“Always forget how hot you run,” Bella said, shivering when she pulled out of his embrace, the cold replacing the momentary relief of warmth. He smirked in response but then his expression shifted to one more serious and Bella knew small talk was futile. 

“They said you wanted to meet. I’m guessing this is about the vampire coming to kill you.” Bella nodded. “As we told Alice,” he said her name tautly, “yesterday, we’ll be increasing our patrols. If it crosses any of our land, we’ll know about it.” 

“Be careful,” Bella told him, her words for all of the pack. Sam nodded once, appreciating that she still cared. He glanced at Jasper and Alice, and then looked back at her. “If the pack are the ones to kill this… person,” Bella said, refusing to call the vampire an it but unaware of the immortal’s gender, “I need you to try and get information if you can.” 

“That may prove difficult,” Sam replied. “If we can make the kill, we will.” Bella nodded in understanding, but Sam still asked, “what kind of information?” 

“Why they’re here,” she said, “how they found out about me, why they want me dead.” She regarded Sam solemnly, her thoughts going back to Victoria. 

“Do you think it’s her?” He asked. 

“Who?” Jasper asked, and Bella glanced back at him. She gestured for Sam to tell him as Jasper was looking at him already. 

“Victoria,” Sam said. Jasper and Alice both frowned. Bella bit back a sarcastic recommendation that Alice should have perhaps been looking out for Victoria and not watching Bella’s life fall apart following their disappearing act. 

“I haven’t seen her,” Alice said. “I would have if it was her, if she was involved.” 

“Not if she’s found a way around your ability,” Bella said, meeting Sam’s gaze. “Laurent said she’d get me eventually. She’s had nearly five years to plan.” 

“If that’s the case, this could just be the beginning,” Sam said gravely. Bella frowned, she sincerely hoped it wasn’t. She was going home in a week, back to her everyday life that was free of mythical creatures and vendettas. 

“You didn’t tell us about Laurent,” Jasper said. He didn’t sound accusatory but Bella raised her brows at him all the same, as if to say ‘it’s not your business.’ He wasn’t speaking to her though, he was looking at Sam who folded his arms. 

“We killed him years ago when he came for Bella per Victoria’s request,” Sam said. “You know, shortly after your coven left her defenseless and in the warpath of a revenge-bent psychopath.” Alice shook her head. 

“I didn’t see,” she said. “Why didn’t I see?” Her look of confusion turned into irritation aimed at Sam. “I can’t see past you and your pack. That’s why I’ve got loads of blindspots.” Bella wondered just how many blindspots, if any, had stopped Alice from seeing her in ruins after Edward broke up with her in the forest, claiming to have never loved her in the first place. She glared at the ground, and when Jasper looked at her, she turned the glare on him; daring him to ask why she was angry. Sam jutted out his chin. 

“Your limitations are not our problem,” he said coldly. “We’ll let you know of any changes, Bella. And we’ll try to get your information if we can.” Bella nodded, and offered a small, tight, smile in thanks before Sam turned and ran off back into the trees. Bella crossed her arms, knowing what Alice was about to say. 

“I didn’t see, Bella,” she said. “I didn’t know Laurent had come back. We would have-” 

“What?” Bella asked. “Come back for my funeral?” 

“Bella,” she said shocked, and Bella scoffed dryly. 

“The pack saved my life,” Bella said, “I didn’t need you.” At least, not to protect her against Laurent but she didn’t elaborate. “If you catch whoever it is... “ she added, looking at Jasper. “If it is Victoria’s endgame, I’ll have to make plans. Get out of town to protect Charlie.” 

“If it is,” Jasper said, emphasizing the if, “we’ll continue to protect you. We weren’t there when you needed us with Laurent. Let us be there for you now.” Bella wasn’t impressed by his words but she couldn't think of a point to argue with. Would they even listen if she asked them to leave? She felt resigned to their involvement whether she wanted it or not. There was also the Pack to consider, Bella was keenly aware that it was a lot to ask of them; more protection would ease their workload. Bella shrugged, insinuating her begrudging acceptance. “Can we drive you home?” He asked, prompting Bella to look down at her wet sweater clinging to her skin. 

“Or you could come over,” Alice said hopefully. Bella ached at the thought of going to their house, of entering the place their family had occupied and made her feel like one of them. 

“Home,” she said, accepting Jasper’s offer of a ride. He opened the door for her and she climbed in, a headache building across her forehead. As she buckled her seatbelt, Alice climbed into the passenger seat in front of her and Jasper appeared on the driver’s side. He started the car heating up as he pulled into drive and turned the car around. They drove in complete silence, discomfort ricocheting between the three of them as trees turned to buildings. Bella was relieved when they pulled up outside Charlie’s house, eager to get out of the car that smelled of them so strongly, she was sure she’d be unable to get their scent out of her sweater at all. “Thanks,” Bella said and unbuckled quickly, as she opened the door, Jasper turned to look over at her. 

“We’re close by if you need us,” he said, reminding her again of their proximity. She said nothing in response, climbed out and shut the door. The car remained until she was inside the house, and it took her a lot of willpower not to check the curtains to see if they’d left. She went to her room, changed out of her wet clothes, and climbed under her duvet to get warm. Alice’s words kept repeating in her head; how much might she have actually missed during the year Bella and Jake dated? 

Three pm came around slowly and Bella was still a little grouchy from an accidental nap as she approached Angela’s car. As she climbed in, she was pleasantly surprised at the warmth of the car and Angela’s smile, despite how confidently she’d anticipated the welcome. They hadn’t seen one another in years but Angela looked upon her with a timeless fondness; Bella fought the urge to crush her in an awkward seated hug. 

“Hey,” Angela said, smiling. Bella noticed that the other woman’s hair was shorter, her skin clearer, and she wore black-framed glasses as opposed to the purple ones she remembered. She looked a little older but still radiated a familiar gentle glow; it was youthful. Bella felt as though she, herself, had been hardened by the years apart but in Angela’s presence, her shoulders began to relax; the granite in her posture conflicted. 

“Hey,” she replied, Angela waited for Bella to buckle her seatbelt before pulling off the gravel drive. After another short conversation via text provided by Angela’s lunch break, they’d agreed to hang out at Jess’ house; catering to pregnancy-induced backache. Bella had planned to take a bus but was offered a lift when she’d asked Angela about bus stops and times. Angela told Bella about her shift at work as she drove, briefly explaining her tasks and who she worked with. Bella found herself lulled by Angela’s voice as she listened, though she found it difficult to remember mentioned names; her attention pulled to the neighborhood passing by the car. Thoughts buried deep tried to surface when she saw somewhere familiar, forcing her to wonder how she would react if they were to return to the High School. She wouldn’t, she told herself; she didn’t need to know. 

Jess threw open the door when they arrived, acting as though she hadn’t seen both her or Angela in years. Bella glanced at Angela once to see her friend wasn’t surprised, so Bella assumed it wasn’t unusual behavior. They were ushered inside where they were promptly given a tour. Bella was conscious it was for her benefit at first and wanted it to happen as quickly as possible, but it wasn’t long before she realised Jess simply enjoyed showing off her house. Despite having no interest in home decor, Bella relaxed enough to silently encourage Jess’ boasting with smiles. Once they’d viewed the nursery for the second time, Jess led them downstairs to the kitchen. Bella sat at the table, feeling misplaced as she watched Angela navigate the cupboards in order to make them all a warm drink. Jess pulled a pretty shawl around her shoulders, claiming to be cold before explaining it was from Paris. 

“How’s Mike?” Bella asked, not wanting to hear the story behind the shawl. Jess wasn’t put out, pleased to brag about Mike’s salary and future plans instead. Bella listened attentively at first, genuinely pleased that things were going so well for the both of them, but once Jess began preaching about marriage and how no woman felt complete without a child in their life Bella shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and let herself drift into background conversation. Angela met Bella’s gaze across the table, both of them trying not to smile in sympathy at one another lest Jess see and question it. An hour passed before any question was put to Bella, and she was so displeased with the immediate line of which, that she wished she’d encouraged Jess to talk about herself more. 

“Any men in your life, Bella?” Jess had asked. Bella knew it was a standard question for friends to ask one another, at least it seemed that way when Renee and her friends used to get together. Bella couldn’t imagine ever wanting to initiate the topic herself, as interested as she was in her friend’s livelihoods. She sighed, receiving an apologetic look from Angela and an expectant one from Jess. 

“No,” she replied. “I’ve been busy. Work keeps me busy.” 

“You work in a bar, Bella,” Jess said, and Bella bristled at the tone as if this was a job somehow beneath her, “I’m sure you see men. They can’t all be ugly.” Bella thought about this for a minute, taking a drink of water. She had never thought to find a date through work, but then she’d never thought to find a date at all. Telling Jess that though made her feel self-conscious; she didn’t want to be looked at too closely. There was also the possibility that Jasper or Alice were within hearing distance, keeping their word of watching over her, and though she wanted them to feel guilty at how they’d broken her, she didn’t want them to pity her. She wasn’t the same girl, she was stronger, smarter, more able to protect herself; she wouldn’t run. 

“I wouldn’t want them to turn up looking for me when things end,” she said, which she figured was true enough. It was certainly a reason she wouldn’t want to meet a man through work, even if she did want one. 

“When things end, that’s a bit pessimistic,” Angela said, a smile on her lips but concern in her gaze. 

“Not everyone is looking to get married,” Bella simply replied. 

“Oooh,” Jess laughed, “I didn’t realise you were so casual. Good for you, Bella. Shop around.” Bella cringed at Jess’ assumption but decidedly didn’t correct her. She wasn’t sure what it said about her, that she would rather others believe she had a string of one-night stands instead of not seeing anyone at all. “Maybe you can give Angela some pointers, she won’t entertain anyone I point out to her.” Jess seemed vexed by this and launched into recounting various times Angela had refused to ask a man out, from someone at work to strangers in stores. Angela’s face gradually reddened and after 10 minutes of zoning in and out again, Bella asked Jess how her online course was going. 

Chapter Text

It was dark when Bella returned home in the evening, having gone out to a restaurant with Jess, Mike, and Angela once he’d returned home from work. Mike hadn’t changed at all, much to Bella’s hidden frustration. He spent most of the evening talking about her body, impressed at her athleticism and asking about boxing. It was barely an hour in that he said he would try boxing too, sure that he would find it just as good for his figure. The group were still discussing baby names when Angela pulled up outside Bella’s house and she climbed out. 

“We need to go shopping before you leave,” Jess shouted from the back. “Don’t make too many plans, I’ll text you.” Bella agreed she wouldn’t, said goodnight, and closed the door. She waved from the driveway as they pulled away, watching until the car was gone before she turned towards the house. The lights were on and Bella could see movement in the kitchen, recognizing the person to be Sue. It was strange at first when Charlie and Sue began spending more time together, and it took Bella a minute to get used to having Sue around during her last year of High School, but she made Charlie happy and Bella genuinely believed they were good for each other. 

Bella shivered. Exposed. She turned around, looking for whoever was watching her, hoping it was Jasper as he was slightly easier to tolerate. Bella supposed it helped that he could feel her emotions and know, without her having to say so out loud, just how much she disliked his presence. There was nobody there that she could see; it unnerved her more than she’d admit. It could be Alice, not wanting to upset Bella after her nice day out, but the possibility that it could be someone else wasn’t easily dismissed. Bella decidedly glared at a bush for good measure, not wanting to appear frightened lest it really be a stranger, and headed inside the house; pushing all vampire anxieties to the back of her mind as Sue asked her if she’d like a beer. 

It was just after 10am the next day when Bella received another text from Alice. She was toweling her hair dry, a long gray shirt sticking to the still wet patches of her skin. A frown immediately etched onto her face as she picked up her cell. It was inevitable, she knew, that a text was to come again at some point and she was adamant that she didn’t want to be left out of the loop like a child that needed details spared, something Edward would no doubt want. But it would take longer than a week for Bella to forgive Alice - if she ever did - and Bella was only in town for another four days. Whoever came for her would come soon, she thought, and tried to ignore the hairs that raised on the back of her neck. 

Unknown: The others will arrive shortly after 1. Everyone wants to see you. 

Bella gripped her cell and without thinking, moved across the room to sit down on the edge of her bed, towel discarded on the floor by her feet. She stared at the message, letting the words sink in, her mind wanting to detach instead. Her heart was racing, her throat tight, her breath held for fear a sob would break out if she tried to breathe. Tension rose across her skin, building in the crevices, stinging her forehead and hands. She realized then that she hadn’t allowed herself to think of the others -- of Carlisle and Esme, of Rosalie, of Emmett and… and him. Edward, she forced herself to think. Now it was real, their reappearance in her life was imminent and it felt scalding. It had been dreadful seeing Jasper in the bookstore, out of the blue, she’d been enraged but this was worse; knowing beforehand that she would have to see them even though she knew she didn’t want to. They wanted to see her. It would be uncomfortable and awkward. Alice, she knew, would have told them of their cold reception; apologies would already be scripted on the ends of their tongues. Rosalie, not included. Silver lining at last , Bella thought bitterly. 

What was she supposed to say? 

It wasn’t like she could avoid them, not if she wanted a hand in protecting herself. She refused to retreat, not even for saving herself the emotional rollercoaster she was sure to ride upon seeing them again, though her burning chest begged her to reconsider. She dropped her cell as she finally gasped for breath, clutching at her shirt as if it was the reason behind her inability. Her body shook as tears spilled down her cheeks, panic emerging as breathing continued in difficulty. This was how Charlie found her, his sleep-dusted eyes looking in through the crack in her bedroom door, unseeing until he heard her cry. 

“Bella?” He asked, alert, pushing the door open. “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” Within seconds, he had crossed the room and was crouched down before her. Bella only clawed at her neck and shirt, and Charlie watched helplessly before understanding. “You’re having a panic attack,” he told her and Bella thought she might laugh if only she could. “It won’t last,” he reassured, but Bella didn’t believe him, her hands beginning to shake as she sucked in air through her teeth. “I’m not going anywhere. Take my hand.” Bella did as she was told, gripping tight, momentarily distracted from her panic as she was pulled to her feet. “Breathe with me, and count,” Charlie instructed, and Bella found herself copying him as they paced around her room together in a dance-like fashion. It wasn’t until her breathing calmed and her tears stopped that she felt a hint of embarrassment. Charlie would want to know what had caused such a profound reaction, perhaps Alice had foreseen this and had waited to text her until Charlie was awake. Bella stewed at the idea, but forced herself to remain attentive to Charlie as he continued to look worried. She pulled her hands away. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” she said, nodding quickly. “Thanks. Sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize, Bells,” he said, and sighed, pushing his bed hair around as he looked for evidence of a stressor, eyes landing on the discarded cell before Bella could collect it. “Who-? Was it Jake?” Bella grabbed the phone and sat back down again; hunched over defensively. “I can speak to him, let him know you’re not interested in-” 

“It wasn’t Jake,” Bella interrupted, though she couldn’t fully convince herself she wouldn’t have reacted similarly if it had been. A beat passed and she made her decision. Charlie would ask where she was later if she were to simply disappear, and part of her wanted to confide in him so he could understand her breakdown. He would treat it delicately like she needed him to. “It was Alice.” Charlie’s brows fixed together in confusion before his memory jolted.

“She’s back in touch? Is he…?” Bella shook her head. “Why?” 

“She wants to apologize. Meet up again now that she’s finished college and is back in town.” Charlie moved to sit down beside her, and Bella wished she were a mind reader herself so she could decipher the look on his face. 

“She’s back in town,” he stated, Bella recognized his confusion. 

“The house still belongs to her family, they didn’t sell it. I think she’s passing through, it’s a place to stay.” Having to lie for them was distastefully easy, Bella realized, and bit her tongue as she let that sink in, wanting to be angry but only finding herself tired. There were four days to be angry, she promised herself. 

“So you’ve spoken to her.” Bella deflated beside him. 

“Vaguely. She’s sent texts, I’ve replied to one.” They sat in silence as Charlie processed this and Bella fought the urge to yawn so early in the day. Her panic had completely subsided, leaving an ugly knot in her stomach. 

“What caused you to panic?” He asked, making Bella cringe. She had panicked and there was the very real possibility that Alice had foreseen it; the thought made her want to climb under the duvet and stay there until Sunday. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t. 

“She asked to meet up,” Bella replied. “I’m going to,” she said before Charlie could put forward an objection. He still looked as though he wanted to as he looked sideways at her, trying to read her expression as if her thoughts were still easily accessible. Bella had long since removed them from her face, along with the heart on her sleeve. “I think I need to, get it over with, finally move on.” The prospect of moving on after so long lit a beacon of hope in Charlie’s eyes and Bella almost cried again at seeing it. 

“Alright,” he said. “Do you want me to drive you over?” 

“No,” Bella said, “I’ll ask her to pick me up.” She could see that this decision didn’t sit well with Charlie but he didn’t attempt to talk her out of it. 

“What time?” 

“One-ish, I think,” she replied, and felt herself sink further into the mattress as it properly sank in. She would be seeing her once-promised family again in less than three hours. 

The drive over to the Cullen house was silent and Bella was relieved, she wasn’t convinced she would be able to speak without difficulty, and she didn’t want to make her anxiety more obvious. Alice drove fast once they’d left town and Bella found it didn’t bother her like it used to, she watched out of the window, not seeing the scenery for the most part as she told herself what she would and wouldn’t do. She wouldn’t cry, she wouldn’t panic, and she wouldn’t be left alone with Edward. She would make sure they knew she was serious about being involved in whatever plan was made, she would remind them about her deadline, and she would ask to be driven home no later than 5pm. Two hours with them would be more than enough. 

“Can we talk first?” Alice asked as she parked in front of the house. Bella stared up at it from her seat, conflicted with feeling both familiar with it but a stranger too. She had thought about coming back in the months after they left, to remind herself that they were real; that the relationship had been real, but imagining it empty had hurt too much; she knew she couldn’t handle physically seeing it so. “Bella?” Bella looked at her. Alice had wanted to speak for days now, and Bella knew deep down that the conversation would have to happen at some point. What would it change if it were to happen now though? Would Alice lead her into the forest for privacy? Leave her there when Bella refused to forgive her? Bella bristled at the thought. 

“I’m not ready,” she replied, and opened the door. Before she had unbuckled her seat belt, Alice was out of the car; waiting with her hand out for Bella to take. She climbed out on her own, pointedly ignoring the sad look on Alice’s face, opting to look back up at the house instead. It was just a house, she told herself. It had always been just a house. 

“Everyone is in the living room,” Alice announced as Bella followed her towards the door. Bella grimaced at the thought of them all staring at her, taking in all the changes age, alcohol, and boxing had brought about. Would they be happy to see she’d changed? Would Edward? 

“Is that where you usually discuss battle plans?” Bella asked dryly, climbing the stairs. She didn’t look around, didn’t refamiliarize herself with their belongings; it would only serve to hurt her again in the long run to commit their space to memory. Space they hadn’t let her remain in. 

“Bella,” Esme greeted once they reached the top of the stairs, a fond smile on her face. It wasn’t what Bella had imagined but upon seeing Esme in her Mom jeans and white blouse, she realised Esme could never have acted any other way towards her. It was disconcerting, being reminded of a memory with such clarity. The way in which Esme was looking at her made Bella feel like no time had passed at all, and she supposed that it hadn’t for them. Bella nodded in greeting, a tight smile on her face. Glancing at them all briefly, omitting Edward, Bella looked to Jasper who she briefly took comfort in seeing, he was easier to address. 

“Any updates?” She asked, moving further into the space. Her mind returned to Victoria, though she knew there was too much unknown to be sure; Alice hadn’t seen her last time but could see this other vampire coming to kill her. It didn’t make sense. Jasper matched her serious expression. 

“Jasper,” Edward’s voice warned just as he was about to speak. Bella couldn’t stop herself from looking at him then, he was staring right back at her; topaz eyes troubled. Bella knew her heart was beating fast, she could feel the pulse in her wrist below James’ bite - a scar she thought little of these days after years of conditioning herself not to. If anyone asked, she told them she’d been bitten by a rabid dog during her childhood, a lie that had gotten easier once she started at Frays as it had been pointed out a lot by both sober and drunk customers alike. He looks the same, Bella told herself. A little paler, if that was possible, but otherwise unchanged. She waited for the crushing heartache to impale her, the anger to rise up and consume her where she stood, the love to unfurl in her heart as its intended was finally back in front of her. 

She just felt… uncomfortable. 

What had she expected? They were never going to run into each other’s arms, promising never to part again. That’s not who she was, not who he was. He’d said he didn’t want her, that she didn’t belong in his world; that wasn’t going to change just because it had been a few years... just because she was once again in danger. Bella tried to remember the look on his face from that last day in the forest, to try and compare it to the look he wore now, but she couldn’t. Human memory was an undependable thing, and she had tried so hard to forget it. His words had destroyed her, pulled her dreams from under her in seconds, banished her to a pit of depression she had spent years digging her way out of, and in that time her heartache and loss had turned to anger. Anger she thought she would be feeling now she saw him, now she had an audience; to tell them all what they’d done to her. Yet as he looked at her now and she looked back, she felt… uncomfortable. 

“Jasper?” She asked after a moment of silence, returning her attention to him. His expression betrayed his curiosity, and Bella reminded herself that every feeling she had in his presence was not private, and that anything Jasper discovered would be delivered on to Edward whether he wanted it or not. She wouldn’t think about it now. There were more important matters, like saving her life. 

“Edward doesn’t think it’s in your best interest to discuss this,” Jasper informed her, tilting his head slightly, his accent stalling Bella’s intake of his words for a second. And there it was - the anger. It was quick to spike as usual and she found herself shooting a glare at Edward that worked to shift his expression but Bella was in no mood to decipher it now. 

“I don’t care what anyone thinks is in my best interest,” she told Jasper, and though she sounded irritated, she could hear the conviction in her tone, sure that they all heard it too. “If anyone is going to be involved in saving my life, it’s going to be me,” she added. “Understood?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jasper replied, fighting a smile. He moved across the room, leading her towards the dining room. Bella was thankful for his human pace; she felt a confidence she hadn’t expected and didn’t want it to be doused out by her flinching at their vampire speed. Bella followed, conscious that someone else was behind her but she didn’t look lest it was Edward meaning to stop her. “Alice’s vision showed a vampire followin’ you in the forest on a run-” 

“Bella runs now?” Emmett asked, clearly amused. Bella stopped by the table, briefly looking over the books and pieces of paper spread across it. She glanced back towards the door to see everyone had followed, moving to take seats at the table. Bella smiled ever so slightly at Emmett in response, and turned her attention back to the table. A drawing caught her attention, she leaned over to pick it up. 

“This is him?” She asked, studying the familiar face. It was different from the Missing Person poster, he looked colder. Not Victoria then. 

“You know him?” Jasper asked. 

“Riley Biers,” Bella said, placing the drawing back in its place. “He went missing about a year after-” she was going to say after you left but found the words lodged in her throat. “Charlie spent 18 months plastering his photo everywhere. Riley’s parents moved away last year. He could have come back to see them, maybe he hunts when he’s here.” Bella shrugged, looking back at Jasper to hear his theory. 

“I’ve seen him again,” Alice said, forcing Bella to look at her instead. It wasn’t as easy, given Alice was still wearing a saddened expression, but Bella held her gaze. “Before he finds you-” 

“He won’t,” Edward interrupted. Bella clenched her jaw, her gaze fixed on Alice. She gestured for Alice to continue with a wave of her hand. 

“Before he was to find you,” Alice started, amending her words, “he has an item of clothing, I think it’s yours.” Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought about this, moving around the table, passing the backs of their chairs, as she looked at what else was displayed. Before Carlisle, there was a ring with a crest unlike the Cullens that piqued her interest. 

“The clothing. What does it look like?” She asked Alice. 

“It’s a red shirt, I think,” Alice replied, her eyes glazing over as she re-examined her vision. Bella hummed. 

“What?” Jasper asked, watching her carefully as she thought and resumed her movement so she was beside him once again; they were the only two still standing. 

“If it’s mine,” she said, “it’s not something new. It’s not something I would wear and I know I didn’t bring it with me.” 

“What do you think?” Jasper asked and Bella felt a surge of gratitude towards him for asking. He and Rosalie had been the most distant in her memory, they had never spent much time with her, the latter not wanting Bella around at all. When the family left, Bella was able to admit that she had missed Jasper and Rosalie the least though she would have been just as thrilled to see them again, even if Edward never returned to her. It was because of this, she reasoned, that she found Jasper easier to talk to; she didn’t feel as betrayed by his leaving... it didn’t guarantee him a free pass though. What did she think?  

“If it is mine,” she said, emphasising the if, “it’s something he would have to have taken before I left town.” Before Jake, she realised. Jasper raised his brows in question. Bella pushed herself on, despite how much it made her cringe having to discuss her relationship with Jake in front of Edward. “Between you all… skipping town,” she said diplomatically though her mouth wanted to say fucking off, “and March 18th.” 

“That’s specific,” Rosalie said, her voice just as cold as it always had been but with a touch of curiosity. Bella kept her eyes down on the table as she replied. 

“March 18th is when I started dating Jacob Black.” She paused, letting that fact settle before she added another. “He’s part of Sam Uley’s pack. If a vampire was in my house, he would have known.” 

“He might not have told you,” Rosalie pointed out and Bella looked up at her, annoyed. Edward might have kept it from her, but Jake had at least always been honest with her. He would have enjoyed having a vampire to hunt , her mind surmised. A vampire who he could openly enjoy hating in my presence.  

“Jake isn’t like that,” Bella simply replied, and pointed at the ring once her gaze wandered back to it. Her eyes on Carlisle. “What’s that?” 

“This was a gift,” Carlisle said, his voice gentle, soothing almost. It was a sound Bella found she couldn’t completely hate, his presence had never elicited negative emotions in her before, and if she hadn’t been left behind, she doubted it ever would have but here they were. “I was given it by a friend. Did Edward ever tell you of the Volturi?” 

“Telling her more will only put her in danger,” Edward spoke up, and Bella looked to him again but he was regarding Carlisle. Bella took a deep breath to simmer her irritation, confused as to why he continued to try and keep her in the dark, and irritated that he thought he had a say in what she was and wasn’t told, even now. 

“I’m already in danger,” she pointed out, “It’s on the table, do you think there’s a possible connection?” Bella couldn’t recall what Edward had told her but the name was familiar. “They’re your vampire royalty, aren’t they?” She pressed when Carlisle looked conflicted. A beat. He nodded. 

“The Volturi enforce laws for our kind,” Carlisle explained. “One of which is a statute of secrecy. To protect our kind from being discovered and hunted, it is law that we do not expose ourselves to humans.” Bella nodded in understanding, looking down at the ring once more. It was made of silver with two rubies above and below the prominent V, the band thin around the back, widening to fit the V of the crest. Bella knew it was more intricate with its details but she couldn’t make them out from where she stood. 

“You think they know about me,” Bella stated. 

“It was a possibility,” Carlisle agreed. Past tense. Bella supposed her knowledge of who the vampire in Alice’s vision was had narrowed it down. That was good, it made her feel validated in refusing to be unincluded. Bella looked back at Riley’s vampire face, tapping her hand against her leg as she thought. It had been a long time since she’d let herself think about those six months, she felt overwhelmed for a few long seconds until she felt Jasper’s calm, a support she clung to as she sifted through. Her thoughts returned to Laurent. 

“I still think Victoria is involved,” she said, and looked at Jasper. “I think it was February when Laurent came back. He-” 

“Laurent returned?” Edward asked. Bella shifted towards Jasper when he stood, facing Edward briefly as she felt the need to stand her ground. She glanced between Edward and Jasper before decidedly returning her direction towards the latter. Why hadn’t Alice or Jasper told them? 

“We believed him to be staying in Alaska with our Cousins,” Carlisle said, though Bella wasn’t sure what to do with the information. Perhaps he felt guilty for being unaware Laurent posed a danger. Bella supposed he should but kept the thought to herself. 

“He said he was doing a favor for Victoria,” she said, watching Jasper for a reaction, wondering if he would take over the explanation. “He was going to kill me.” 

“But he didn’t,” Carlisle said, and Bella hated how hopeful his voice sounded, it made her feel guilty, as if what happened was her fault. She looked back at him then. 

“He- the wolves, they-” she said, struggling but Carlisle understood, he looked down at the table sadly and Bella looked away, uncomfortable . “What if, somehow, Victoria heard I was back in town and sent someone else?” 

“I would have seen her,” Alice said. 

“Were you looking?” Bella asked, an accusation in her tone that she regretted letting slip when Alice froze. “I mean,” Bella added slowly, fixing her tone, “it might not have been a recent decision. You didn’t see last time because I was around the Pack, but I haven’t spent time with them in years.” 

“Maybe,” Alice muttered. Bella assumed her look of concentration was down to actively looking now. She looked back at Jasper. 

“I have no other theory,” Jasper told her. “We had considered a nomad passing through when we traveled down, but that wouldn’t explain your shirt.” 

“If it’s mine,” Bella added and sighed. “What was the plan? If it was just a nomad passing through.” 

“We would have watched over you, Alice would have continued to watch his decisions, and we hoped to have eliminated the threat as soon as he entered town,” Jasper explained. It was simple enough. 

“And this required all of you to be here?” She asked, crossing her arms. 

“We wanted to be here to protect you,” Esme said, Bella shifted again under her emotional watch. 

“All of you?” She asked, and smirked as she made eye contact with Rosalie.

“I was out voted,” Rosalie ground out, making Bella scoff. 

“If it’s any consolation, I would have voted no too,” Bella told her, feigning ignorance to the looks of hurt and sadness crossing the faces around her. “What’s the plan now? Stalk me, watch the future, still catch him when he gets here?” 

“More like kill,” Emmett said, grinning. 

“What if he is here for Victoria?” Bella asked, glancing around. Her head was beginning to ache, her emotions unused to being so constricted when there were so many of them at once, demanding her attention. Perhaps two hours was asking too much of herself. 

“You want to question him?” Carlisle enquired, face pensive. 

“I want to know that this is done when I leave on Sunday,” Bella replied. 

“We don’t know when he’ll arrive,” Jasper reminded her. “It could be Saturday night, and if he is here on Victoria’s orders, he won’t tell us anything.” Bella deflated a little, understanding that there were no sure things in her situation. 

“Will you be working with Sam?” 

“Carlisle will meet with him this evening.” 

“Let me know how it goes,” Bella said and Jasper nodded once. “Alice,” she said, looking at the smallest Cullen whose expression cleared upon hearing her name. “Can you drive me home?” 

“But you just got here,” Emmett said, his tone bemused despite the grin on his face. 

“Will you come back tomorrow?” Esme asked. Bella almost caved upon seeing how desperate her expression was. “We would love to hear about your life in New York.” Bella couldn’t come up with a reason to excuse herself and she was feeling spent, longing to be back in her room with her feelings to herself. 

“If Charlie doesn’t mind,” she replied with a nod. It wasn’t a yes, but Esme seemed to take it as one which didn’t reassure Bella at all. Alice disappeared from the room and Bella walked towards the door as everyone but Rosalie stood to say goodbye. Bella smiled tightly at them all and nodded her head when she made eye contact with Carlisle before leaving them behind, making her way through the living room and down the stairs. Alice was in the car, the passenger-side door open. 

The drive home was just as silent and Bella tasted freedom when Alice pulled up behind Charlie’s cruiser. “Can you ask Jasper to stay away tonight?” She asked, “I want as much privacy as possible.” Alice smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes and nodded. 

“It’ll be Esme and I,” she said. Relieved, Bella thanked her for the ride, and made her way inside to collapse on the couch. 

Chapter Text

It wasn't until she found herself stepping through the entrance to Thriftway that Bella realised she'd had a goal in mind after all. She needed to tell someone, work out and arrange her thoughts, and the only people in Forks she trusted with them now were Angela and Charlie. The thought of speaking about boys with Charlie made her feel childish; she didn't feel like blushing and stumbling through her words. Angela found her first, having seen her walk in with damp jeans and a far away look. 

"Bella," she greeted with a worried tone and an equally worried look. Bella simply hugged her for a few seconds, no doubt confusing Angela more. Even in Senior year when they'd gotten to know each other better; Bella had never been one for physical contact. "You're freezing," Angela gasped. Bella pulled away. 

"Can we talk?" She asked, well aware she had no right to Angela's time, especially at work, but she hoped her behavior conveyed that it was important. Angela nodded, and took her arm to lead her through the aisles to the back of the store. The break room was rather depressing with it's white walls, dim light, the only furniture being a long table with plastic chairs. Bella noted that a few bags were simply placed up against one wall, coats beside or on top of them. Depressing. 

"It's nearly closing time, been a slow day," Angela told her, Bella almost wished she could say the same, but a much more honest part of her internally laughed. She supposed she could admit, at least to herself, that she would rather have supernatural drama than a mundane job in retail. Maybe I was the masochist all along , she thought wryly. "George won't mind us being back here," Angela continued and took a seat at the table. Bella sat down opposite. She mouthed a few undecipherable words as she thought about how to start, prompting Angela to reach out to take her hand in sympathy. 

"I saw Edward again," she blurted out and cringed at the surprise and confusion on her friend's face. Bella had never thought Angela's emotions at all simple to deduce but after building all her walls, Bella realized how easy it was to spot a habit she was glad to no longer entertain. A vague memory of telling Edward she was an open book echoed in her ears. Not anymore. 

"Oh?" Angela asked. Bella sympathized with Angela, knowing she wouldn't know where to step during their conversation. In the past, any mention of the Cullens would shut Bella down, and nobody but Jess would breathe the name Edward in her presence, not even Jake for the most part. Bella decided she would just put it out there and let Angela navigate the situation with the facts available. Bella knew she would have to spin the truth a little, Angela would ask questions if she left out explanations, but she would try to be honest where it mattered. She was slightly worried that a new version of the story might make it back to Charlie but Bella doubted Angela would repeat anything she told her in confidence. 

"The Cullens were picking up some furniture for their new place, Alice was feeling nostalgic I guess, texted me to let me know and ask how I was. I told her I was in town for a few days and she asked to meet up. Said everyone wanted to see me." Bella looked to the table as she recalled her earlier panic attack. Angela squeezed her hand, Bella wasn't sure if it was to comfort or a request to continue, so she smiled tightly and cleared her throat. "Alice picked me up and drove us to the house. I didn't want to talk, I… I still feel upset that she left without saying goodbye." 

"She didn't say goodbye?" Angela asked gently. Sadly, Bella surmised upon looking back up at her face. "Did any of them?" Bella shook her head, hating the way her chest tightened. She wouldn't cry, not now. Not when she had to get this off her chest. 

"Edward did, of course," she corrected, scoffing bitterly. "He had to break up with me." As she let her anger simmer, remembering the conversation in the woods with a cynical gaze, no longer struck with heartache; she wished she had confided in Angela a long time ago. How different the advice would have been should she have cried and confessed her depression, perhaps their words would have shaped a different Bella; a one that appreciated bittersweet, one that tried to trust others. Bella despised the thought but maybe she had waited too long to allow herself to heal, and that was not something she could blame on Edward, even if she wanted to absolve herself of self-destruction. "I thought I would still feel the same if I ever saw him again," she said slowly, now exposed in a way she hadn't been for years. It was uncomfortable, even with Angela, but she told herself to push through. "I know a part of me will always love him, even though that part still hurts, but… I… we didn't…" Bella struggled to explain and growled in frustration, taking her hand back from Angela and standing up. Angela watched patiently as she paced. What was the word she was looking for? Click? How could that possibly reflect the energy that was mates ? "Do you believe in soul mates?" She asked, realizing she might not have to. 

"I think so," Angela replied warily. 

"Well, Edward and I thought we were soul mates," she replied. "Even when he left, we both still believed. I think, maybe, he still believes even now, even after all this time apart." Bella stopped, she looked distressed at the thought.

"But you don't," Angela stated. Bella moved back into her chair and leaned back. There it was, out of her chaotic thoughts and into the world. 

"But I don't," she repeated. "I thought I would, I hated the idea of seeing him and still feeling that way, I didn't want to… to be 17 again. But when he was in front of me, finally…" Bella shook her head. They sat in silence for nearly a minute, and Bella felt the truth settle within her; fuck, she was exhausted. 

"Does he want to get back together?" Angela asked quietly. Bella wasn't sure, she tried to recall his tone, his actions, but she had spent most of her time at their house trying to ignore him and her conflicted emotions; lest Jasper make them out more clearly than she possibly could in the moment. Bella shrugged, guessing it would be a conversation she would have to have with Edward. Angela chewed on her lip for a moment and then asked, "Would it matter if he did?"  

Bella sucked in a slow breath as she stared at herself in the mirror. She tried to imagine her younger self staring back, no doubt trying to talk sense into her; reminding her that Edward was the be all and end all of everything. But Bella had long since felt that way, she knew that now. Edward had wanted that part to die when he left, needed it to so she would move on with her life without him, and he'd succeeded. It had taken a long painful time, and Bella would never forgive him for turning her into this version of herself; this closed off, distrustful woman who was convinced love was for other people, not her. He had broken her and the pieces had fit back together all wrong. But it wasn't all him, Bella reminded herself, she had helped. She had wrapped tape around the corners that didn't match until they'd solidified, she had poured salt on her own wounds for years; fearing if she moved on, she would have nothing left of them at all. Her heart still ached for them, still wanted them, but not in the same way. Bella didn't fit now, wasn't Edward's, wasn't who they had offered their family to. 

"No," Bella said quietly, staring down her reflection. Would it matter if he did? 

It's not love that I want. 

Bella confessed, she knew it completely now, having thought it over and over on the walk to Thriftway, and on the walk home. She didn't want Edward, she didn't want to follow the Cullens in hope that Edward would give his blessing to change her, that she might belong with them again one day. 

She wanted immortality , wanted power , wanted the life she knew she was meant to be living. She wanted to be a vampire, it was meant for her, and she had three days to make the Cullens see that too. Bella closed her eyes and made her decision, one which Alice would just see as clearly as she did. 

Bella was surprised when she woke up just after 11, sleeping in was a rare occurrence for her, even on her days off. She felt heavy, the events from the day before taking more of a toll than she would have liked; her head sore from overthinking. Rolling out of bed, she cussed to herself, and her morning routine took a detour to incorporate aspirin and a glass of water. It wasn’t until she was dressed and sitting down to eat lunch that she checked her phone. 

Future Mrs. Newton: Bella, call me! Ange got the day off work so we can go shopping. No bailing! 

Shopping with Jess wasn’t Bella’s idea of fun, she recalled the few times they’d spent together in Port Angeles; none of which she enjoyed remembering given how much they featured Edwad even once he’d left town. The thought of bailing , as Jess had put it, was more desirable the more Bella thought about it, but Charlie was at work and Bella couldn’t think of a reason not to go. If it had been Angela, she could have said she was meeting up with Alice again or having The Talk with Edward, but Bella wasn’t foolish enough to tell Jess a word about their temporary return to town. She huffed quietly and listened to the silence of the house, idle in movement and thought alike. 

If she stayed home, she could rehearse what she would say once the invite to the Cullens came about - or would she talk herself out of it? 

If she went, she could avoid overthinking it and avoid an uncomfortable afternoon with Esme and Alice, and whoever else wanted to stick around. Esme wanted to hear about her life in New York et New Jersey, and Bella cringed at the possibility she might accidentally confess to being a social recluse, except for when she was at work or getting drunk. Would spending the day with Jess and Angela put them in danger? If Riley was foreseen skulking around town, Bella reasoned that they might actually be safer in Port Angeles. Maybe she should ask.

Her phone buzzed. 

Unknown: Carlisle will keep watch while you’re out. We’ll see you later. Have fun! 

Bella stared at the screen for a long minute, jaw clenched as she fought the urge to huff in irritation. Instead of growling to herself in an empty house like an animal, she stood and paced. Refusing Carlisle’s protection was out of the question, Bella knew that. Telling Alice she wasn’t coming over later was evidently pointless, especially since Bella wanted to talk about being changed - and rebuking the order to have fun was childish. Still, Bella wanted to do it all as anger pinched up her shoulders, hands running through her hair. She didn’t want anyone to make decisions for her, especially not them . They had no right to make assumptions about her, they didn’t even know her anymore. But Alice didn’t make an assumption , a small voice reminded her. Bella lost momentum when the voice of reason finally broke through; Alice had merely foreseen Bella’s own actions and responded in advance. The petulant part of her decided it would have been nice if Alice had waited for Bella to ask, but she dismissed it quickly as she replied to Jess, confirming their plans for the day. 

They took Jess’ car to the city, the weather more agreeable than usual, and Bella managed to relax in the back as Angela and Jess discussed where to go for lunch. Jess mentioned twice that they hadn’t done this since Junior year, earning a warning look from Angela as she recounted her excitement when Bella turned up to the restaurant with Edward Cullen. Bella decidedly ignored her and kept her eyes fixed out the window, reassured that this reaction wasn’t unusual for her. It hurt less than it usually did, she realized, and held that feeling close as she remembered her epiphany from the night before. Was he feeling the same way? It conflicted her as she thought about it. A small part of her hoped he did, that they could part amicably this time around, and cross paths a few hundred years from now when their relationship was nothing but a scarce memory. But the bigger part of her, the angry and abandoned part, wanted him to experience the same torture of being left behind by someone who was supposed to be your forever. 

Bella had to begrudgingly admit that she enjoyed her day once they got there; Jess was suitably distracted from bringing up Bella’s ex, and Bella found a hardback version of Wuthering Heights that she bought purely for its scholarly aesthetic, though the illustrations were cool too . They stopped for coffee twice so Jess could rest, numbing her aches with the excitement of baby talk, carried valiantly by Angela who knew just what to say. Bella was only put out once, albeit mildly, when she spilled some iced coffee down her front. Her decision not to buy any clothes of her own was thus changed as she adamantly refused to be seen by any Cullen with proof of her still-sometimes-clumsy nature openly displayed. It was while she was thumbing through the racks in Urban Outfitters that Bella felt a red cotton shirt with an embroidered flower on the breast pocket, it was a delicate material and Bella imagined how comfortable it would be to sleep in. But then she thought about Alice’s vision, a discomfort rising in her stomach as she considered a scenario in which she hadn’t known Riley would be carrying a similar item of clothing, if not that very one. Would she have bought it and worn it today? Would Riley have taken it from her tonight or tomorrow? What did he want with it? 

“Bella,” Jess called from across the store. “I’ve found something for you.” Bella dropped the material pinched between her fingers. She felt conflicted. If she bought it and it was the shirt Riley took, Alice’s vision would remain the same and the Cullens would catch him. But if she didn’t, would he still try to kill her? Bella entertained the idea again that Riley was returning home to find his parents, and that she was just caught in his path on his way out again. But the shirt. “Bella!” 

“Coming,” she called, taking a step back. It might not be the shirt at all, Riley might be carrying a memento of his family or friends. There was no reason for Bella to believe this purchase could change anything, and yet she worried. Could this decision really be the one that put it all into motion, bringing the Cullens back into her life? It couldn’t, she decided. Alice had seen Riley kill her before she’d seen the shirt, right? Bella huffed in vexation. She wouldn’t buy it, she decided, as she heard Jess coming to find her. If it was the shirt in the vision, Alice would see, and Bella not buying it might cause Riley to take something else; then there would be proof that it was hers. That was better, wasn’t it? Proof that he was, in fact, here for her and her foreseen death wasn’t just an accident. 

“Hey,” Angela said, approaching her. “Jess wants to go look at the baby clothes. Have you found something?” 

“No,” Bella said, and forced herself to smile. 

The top she changed into afterward was black and made of silk with a V cut out the back, hidden by her jacket as Bella didn’t like showing off her bra clasp. It felt smooth against her skin and she found it suited her nicely once she saw it in the mirror; Jess was thrilled when Bella admitted it was nice. The rest of her day consisted of following Jess into baby stores and finding flaws in all the men Jess pointed out to Angela, earning a tremendous amount of gratitude from the latter. When Bella climbed out of Jess’ car, her attention was captured immediately by the silver mercedes down the street. 

“Will we see you again before you leave?” Angela asked, the window down. Bella looked down at her with a blank expression before she comprehended the question and the tone in which it’d been asked. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Hopefully. My flight’s at 3 on Sunday, we could meet for breakfast.” It was the only time she could vaguely promise and she commended herself for thinking of it, given her focus was more on Jasper’s car than Angela. 

“Okay,” Angela agreed, her eyes following Bella’s gaze towards the vehicle, aware that Bella’s attention was elsewhere. “I’ll text you.” 

“Okay,” Bella replied and waved before she retreated towards the house, waiting by the door as she watched Jess drive away. The moment the car was gone, the passenger side door to the silver mercedes opened and Bella hurried over. It wasn’t until she was climbing in that she realised it was Carlisle in the driver’s seat. “Has something changed?” She asked, pulling the door closed. 

“Not that I know of,” Carlisle replied. “Alice asked me to collect you.” His calm demeanor was almost infectious but Bella still frowned as she put on her seatbelt, confused by what it meant and frustrated that she’d climbed in so willingly. She had hoped to have some time alone before seeing the Cullens again, uncertain on how to ask for the bite. 

“Is everyone waiting at the house?” Bella asked, her tone reflecting how displeased the thought made her. Had Alice told them her decision? She watched Carlisle for a reaction but he gave none. 

“They’re out hunting,” he said, and watched her in return. Bella pressed her lips together, relieved but also bemused. When he realised she wasn’t going to reply, Carlisle returned his gaze to the road. “Did you enjoy your time in the city?” He asked and Bella hesisted, considering the question, before she scoffed. Small talk. Carlisle looked at her again, this time curiously, and Bella conceded that she might as well reply. After all, she was going to ask for immortality later, the least she could do was humor his manners. 

“Yes,” she replied, and then said, “thanks for being around.” Voicing her gratitude was not selfless. Part of her truly believed that after everything she had been through, she was owed, and that being changed was a decent way to make it up to her. If she had to butter him up beforehand then so be it. The much less manipulative parts of her though reasoned he had been protecting her all day and that, that in itself was worthy of gratitude, whether he changed her or not. He will, she told herself. Was that the reason behind Alice’s plans? 

“There’s no need to thank me,” Carlisle said. “I feel indebted to you, Bella, for leaving you in danger.” Indebted. Bella silently thought about this word for the rest of the journey, hoping his need to repay her would extend as far as she needed it to, but also conflicted that any of them thought they could make it up to her at all. They would try, she accepted. Alice was trying right now. The fact that they were all out hunting, giving her and Carlisle privacy to talk was a good place for her to start, but Bella wasn’t going to forgive her just for pulling a few strings. 

The house was still even as they walked through it and Bella enjoyed it more this way, without all their eyes watching her. The furniture was more or less the same, she noted, though a few pieces were missing. Carlisle performed his hospitality by asking her if she wanted a drink, to which she said no. It was made clear to her when he led her towards the dining room that he knew, or at least suspected, there was something important she wished to discuss. Carlisle gestured for her to take a seat, unbuttoning his jacket as he took his own at the head of the table. Bella surveyed the chairs, wondering whose she should take as she looked them over. The only chair she recalled being empty the day before was Jasper’s so she took that one, confident that he and Alice supported her decision given the orchestration of events leading her here. She had to turn in the chair to face Carlisle and was pleased to see that her decision intrigued him. 

“Has Alice told you anything?” Bella asked as she took off her jacket and placed her hands on the table top, matching his posture in the hope she, at least, appeared composed. It was nerve-wracking, putting her needs out there for someone else to see, someone who could either make her dream come true or add another obstacle. She might have been better prepared with time, but she was also pleased with the opportunity to talk to him alone. Had Alice seen him agree to change her? Bella clung to that hope. 

“No, but I suspect you want to discuss something with me in privacy,” Carlisle replied, and smiled softly. Bella took it as encouragement to go on. Here goes nothing . 

“I want to be a vampire,” she said, stating it plainly, her tone once again full of conviction. There was no uncertainty, no hesitation, no tremor. Bella knew, more than anything she had ever known before, that this was what she wanted, what she felt like was her destiny - with or without Edward. Carlisle watched her carefully, and Bella suspected he was searching for any sign of regret she might be feeling now the words were out there. She smiled to herself, knowing it was something she couldn’t possibly regret at all. “I know that Edward has spoken to you about this before, it might even have been put to a vote at some point at this very table. But I don’t need his permission, and I don’t need anyone’s approval. I’ve wanted this for years, I was ready when James bit me.” At the mention of the nomad, Carlisle’s eyes looked to the scar no longer hidden on her forearm. “And I know,” she said and sighed, “that you’ve only bitten people to save their lives in the past.” 

“I considered if I would be the one to change you,” Carlisle admitted, Bella smiled at his words though it dimmed slightly as he continued, “upon Edward’s request when he first showed inclination towards you. I anticipated that he would ask me as Rosalie had asked for Emmett. It caused great conflict in me, I’ll admit, because as you say I’ve only changed others as a last resort.” Bella briefly considered whether Carlisle would require her to be dying before he bit her and though it was a morbid train of thought, Bella knew she would entertain it if she had to. “But I came to the view that should you want to be one of us, to join our family and be with Edward, I would arrange with you a plan.” 

“A dying plan?” Bella asked, smirking at the premise. Carlisle responded with a smile of his own, understanding her somewhat macabre amusement. Both of them sobered up as he explained. 

"We would have chosen a date, depending on how long you wanted to wait, and then have had to feign your death." Bella nodded her understanding, her gaze shifting to the wall opposite her as she thought aloud, wanting Carlisle to know that she had thought on this too. It had been on her mind the night before as she’d gotten ready for bed and laid there, waiting for sleep. 

"Charlie would have suffered more back then,” she said, “but he has Sue now. I know it'll still be awful for him, for Renee too, but… they won't miss me for as long. There's a distance now." Bella's eyes radiated the sadness she felt at this fact, but the feeling wasn't enough to disway her from her desire. "I know I have to leave people behind," she said, looking at him again, “people I love. But…" she struggled to find the words to say, to convey how she felt in a neat little package. Impossible , she told herself. Carlisle needed her honesty, and it was going to be uncomfortable. "I don't feel like I've ever fit in anywhere,” she said and after a moment, got to her feet so she could gently pace the room as she spoke. “Not in Phoenix, not here, definitely not in New Jersey. There are people who would love to have my life, I know this. But none of it has ever made me happy. The only time I've ever felt like I belonged was with you, with your family." Carlisle matched her look of sorrow as she held his gaze. "And when you left, I felt like…" her eyes teared up, "like I didn't exist anymore. Like I'd never know myself ever again, and I haven't... I tried living the life he wanted for me. I dated, I graduated, I travelled. It's not enough. It won't ever be enough. I've been stuck in fucking purgatory for years, and I need you. I need you to save me.” Bella swallowed her tears with difficulty, every instinct of self-preservation telling her to shut up. “What I'm doing isn't living, Carlisle, it's just putting off the inevitable. That's all I'm doing. Every day. And I push everything down and ignore it because the only alternative for me is to go psychiatry-ward fucking mental. And I'm sorry,” she bit, “if that's still a future Edward would prefer for me, I know you love him... but I stopped waiting for him years ago. This is my life. Mine. This is what I want."

Chapter Text

Bella stood before the Volturi with a glass of water in her hand. They were beautiful and otherworldly; perfect - and the detail in the artwork was magnificent. She wondered if there were aspects she wasn’t seeing due to her human vision, and revelled at the fact that she would at least see it properly one day in future. Carlisle had said yes. She felt euphoric, giddy, and full of life for the first time in years, perhaps ever. It made her want to laugh but she didn’t; Carlisle’s presence beside her was a reminder that she was supposed to be taking it all very seriously. It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t stop grinning up at the painting. 

“The Volturi are the largest coven known to our world,” Carlisle said, and the way he said our caused Bella to choke on adrenaline. Carlisle glanced at her with a knowing smile before he continued. “The Coven was founded by Aro and Marcus over 3000 years ago, joined afterwards by Caius. They established laws that are to be adhered to, breaking which is punishable by death.” Bella’s expression changed as she listened, now hanging onto Carlisle’s words. “These laws aren’t written down, they’re passed on from vampire to vampire; sire to sired.” 

“You were part of their Coven,” Bella stated, looking at the illustrated depiction of Carlisle standing off to the side in his darker dress robes. 

“I lived with them for a time,” Carlisle replied. “They were curious about my diet, Aro especially, and we spent two decades discussing it as well as the values of human life.” Bella couldn’t comprehend the idea of having a discussion for two decades, but nodded all the same. “When I left, Aro gifted me the ring that you saw yesterday. It was a token of our friendship and a warning to others should I come across nomads.” 

“He wanted to protect you.” 

“I never used it,” Carlisle admitted. “But I keep it as a memento of my time there, a piece of my history. It inspired the ring I wear bearing my family crest.” 

“Where do they live?” Bella asked, gesturing back to the painting. 

“A town in Italy called Volterra,” Carlisle told her. She snorted quietly at the alliteration; Volturi of Volterra. 

“Is that how they named their coven?” 

“Aro never said.” Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek. 

“Which one is Aro?” 

“He’s stood at the front,” Carlisle replied and Bella took a step forward as she tried to take him in. They all certainly looked like royalty, but Bella found him to look the most regal. Perhaps it was just the position he was in at the front, but Bella rather suspected it was the way in which he looked down on whoever was illustrating them. 

“Who painted this?” 

“Francesco Solimena. He was a famous Italian painter during the 17th century, a favourite of Aro’s.” Fine tastes. Was he scared, she wondered, as he sat with Aro’s gaze upon him, trying to capture their God-like beauty. 

“How many are in their coven?” Bella asked, prompting Carlisle to continue. 

“Officially, four,” Carlisle said. “Though I’m afraid I don’t know for sure how many vampires reside with them in Volterra. It’s been a long time since I was a guest and their guard has grown since then.” 

“Guard?” 

“Aro, Marcus, and Caius, as well as Caius’ wife are in control. They are the Volturi and act as the unofficial royalty of Vampire-kind. They are protected by their guard, gifted or talented vampires selected to serve them.” 

“Are they gifted?” Carlisle nodded. 

“Aro is gifted with tactile telepathy and Marcus can decipher the ties between people; how strong their bond is,” Carlisle explained, Bella waited for him to continue. “Caius, though not gifted, is talented.” Bella was wondering what constituted a talent when she heard something slam downstairs, Carlisle was looking grave. It was all she needed to realise the hunting trip was over and they’d run out of time alone. 

“We shall continue this discussion later,” he said, “in the meantime, I believe we are expected in the dining room.” Bella’s good mood dimmed continuously as she followed Carlisle out of his office and down the stairs, bracing herself for what was going to be said. Had Alice told them? Was there a new vision? 

Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett were sitting in their places at the table, and looked towards them as Carlisle and Bella entered. Alice, Jasper, and Edward stood behind their chairs, Edward completely still, his gaze downcast until Carlisle was seated. Alice smiled apologetically at Bella, and gestured for her to stand between herself and Jasper; Bella did so, her walls built back up, her defense ready for court. 

“Before we begin,” Carlisle said diplomatically, “I would like you all to know that earlier today Bella asked me to change her, and I have agreed.” Bella took in their reactions quickly before they changed, noting the way Esme and Emmett looked pleased, and the glare Rosalie fastened on her as soon as Carlisle finished talking. 

“Thinking of taking out the nomad yourself, Bella?” Emmett asked with a grin and Bella shot him a thankful smile before she looked at Jasper for an update or an explanation. Why were they standing? 

“You can’t,” Edward said, his pleading gaze upon Carlisle. Silence. H e wants to fight Carlisle on his decision, Bella realized, and once it sank in, she couldn’t help laughing in disbelief; attracting the gaze of the room. The fact that she continued to laugh even then bemused them all. “Bella,” Edward said, softening his tone. Her laughter paused as she raised her brows at him in question, daring him to appeal to her, before she sighed humorously, shaking her head. The audacity.  

“Can someone take me home?” She asked. “Unless there’s an update on the nomad.” 

“A few of my visions changed slightly,” Alice told her, only to be interrupted by Edward. 

“We’re going to discuss this,” he said, raising his voice. 

“Edward,” Esme warned softly. 

“You can’t just kill her,” he continued, and Bella bristled immediately at the look of hurt that crossed his face when he regarded Carlisle. “We left to protect her.” 

“You left because you wanted to,” Bella disagreed, Edward turned so quickly that Bella almost flinched. Jasper stood before her like a guard, keeping Edward from getting too close. If she had been of rational mind, she might have thanked Jasper and shut Edward down without the fanfare, but now she was angry. She was not going to lose out on her destiny just because Edward felt his wishes dismissed or time wasted. Bella stepped around Jasper so she could look Edward in the eyes as she spoke. 

“We wanted you to be safe,” Edward told her, pleading. 

“You left because you wanted to,” Bella repeated, this time louder and with more edge. “I didn’t ask for your sacrifice, I didn’t ask for your protection.” 

“We were a danger to you, we still are-” 

“Exactly,” Bella interrupted. “You are, Riley is, Victoria is, the Volturi is. Changing me makes sense.” 

“You’ll regret it,” he said. “What you know of our world is limited, Bella. You can’t change your mind once it’s done.” 

“Who’s to say I try?” Bella asked. “Is there a vision I don’t know about, a new clairvoyant you’ve consulted?” 

“Bella, listen-” 

“No, you listen,” Bella said hotly, “You are not a part of my life anymore. You have no say in what I do with it. Whether I’m human or vampire, we will still be apart.” Bella reveled in the look of shock that crossed his face as she said this, ignoring Esme’s small gasp. “I don’t need your permission or your favor, I didn’t know that then but I sure as hell do now.” 

“You don’t plan on staying with us?” Esme asked. 

“Then what was the point of all of this?” Rosalie asked, standing up so fast her chair flew backwards. “Years. We have wasted years on you. On this. Moving and having to fester in guilt.” 

“ You felt guilty?” Bella asked, tone heavy with sarcasm. Rosalie’s eyes turned black and the hairs on the back of Bella’s neck rose, but she didn’t back away or cower. A glare of her own looked back. “I am not responsible for your actions,” she said as Esme collected Rosalie’s chair and guided her back into it, “I can’t control you, as much as I would have liked to when you all fucked off.” 

“I’ve seen Bella as one of us, ever since she discovered what we are,” Alice said. “This is her decision, it will happen.” 

“Your visions change, Alice,” Edward needlessly pointed out. 

“My decision won’t,” Bella countered. “Let’s reflect, shall we?” Bella began to pace around the table, turning her back to him. “I moved on like you wanted, I dated someone else. It didn’t work even though I loved him and still do.” Step. “I graduated like you wanted, wasted time and hardwork on a degree I didn’t enjoy and have done fuck all with.” Step. “I traveled like you wanted. Moved to a big exciting city where dreams come true, and I hate it.” Step. “I have made friends, I have lost friends, I have fucked strangers, been assaulted, eaten famous street food, gotten hobbies. I’m fitter than I have ever been in my life, work at a bar I travel two hours to just because it pays well, my neighbor has the cutest fucking kid I’ve ever met, the kind that might inspire maternal feelings - and I want none of it.” Bella stopped before him, having circled around. “What you want and what I want are not the same. You cannot live vicariously through me, because if you try, both of us will be miserable and disappointed.” 

“Things change, Bella. Life will change for you. Nothing changes for us.” 

“Bullshit,” Bella challenged. “I don’t believe for a second any of you are the same person you were when you were changed. Look at where you are, look at the family Carlisle has given you, you’re together because of changes. Being  a nomad and finding a coven is a change. Spending 20 years with the Volturi and leaving is a change.” Edward’s jaw tightened at the reference. “There’s nothing torturing you, Edward. Nothing but your own insecurities and if you’ve spent the past 100 years or whatever feeling trapped then I feel sorry for you. Truly. But we are not the same.” 

“Just wait-” 

“No.” 

“You’ll see-” 

“No.” 

“Have you even tried?” 

“I’ve done nothing but try!” Edward stopped as Bella shouted at him. “You gave me no choice when James bit me. You gave me no choice when you left. Fuck, you didn’t even give me a choice when you came back. What is it about my life that you all feel so fucking entitled to control?” Silence. Bella felt bitter, she felt like she could spit at him, like she could take a swing if he were human and it wouldn’t shatter the bones of her hand. Instead she sighed loudly, turned away from Edward once more and headed out the door. She only turned back once she reached the bottom of the stairs, feeling a breeze behind her, saliva on her tongue. It was Alice holding out the keys to Jasper’s mercedes. No words were exchanged as Bella took them and left the house, letting the door slam behind her. 

She cried in the shower when she got home, her skin raw from the heat of the water. Her voice was raw from shouting, from screaming in the car on the way home, from more shouting once she was alone. The small bathroom was well and truly trashed from her tantrum; the mirror cracked, toiletries and towels across the floor and in the sink. Bella knew she would have to tidy up before Charlie came home, think of an excuse for the mirror, but she was spent. The only thing pulling her through was Carlisle; he would change her. 

Charlie gave her a concerned once-over when he arrived home, pizza in hand. Bella told him that she’d had another panic attack and accidentally broken the mirror; he turned down her assurance that she’d pay for it. It was easy for them to settle on the couch, a sports game on the TV, with a pizza and a beer. Bella needed the company though she was loathed to admit it. When Charlie fell asleep, she draped a blanket across him, turned off the TV and went upstairs to bed. Phone on charge, lights off, Bella lay in bed and waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark. Her mind wandered to what she’d said at the Cullens, wondering what was said after she left, wondering if her words had changed any of their minds, wondering if Edward was still pushing his agenda. Carlisle must miss sleep, she thought with a weak smile. Perhaps he was watching her tonight too, to give himself space or maybe it was Jasper, needing a break from experiencing a houseful of emotions. It wasn’t until she contemplated that one or more of them had heard her crying in the shower that she felt remorse for her actions. Embarrassment sat wrong with her, it wasn’t an emotion she experienced too often anymore; anger prevailing in most situations. She reasoned she could still be angry instead, that their hearing her was an invasion of privacy and if it had made them uncomfortable, it was their own fault. But her heart wasn’t in the deceit. It was irritating to acknowledge but she did need them to keep her safe, at least until she became one of them. 

Rolling over, she picked up her cell and brought up Alice’s conversation. 

Bella: What were the changes in your visions? 

Her phone rang, Unknown Caller across the screen. Bella took a deep breath before she accepted. 

“The color of the shirt changed,” Alice said eagerly; Bella sat up. 

“To black?” Bella asked. 

“No,” Alice said, “Why?” 

“I… saw a red shirt when I was shopping earlier. I think I might have bought it if I hadn’t known about your vision.” 

“So it is yours,” Alice stated. Bella didn’t believe for a second Alice had truly considered it wasn’t but hummed in agreement, too tired to say as much. 

“What does it look like?” 

“Blue, I can’t see any markings on it.” Bella sighed. 

“Could be one of many,” she muttered. “I guess this means it doesn’t matter if I burn all my clothes. He’ll still take something of mine.” 

“Maybe,” Alice replied. There wasn’t much else to discuss, Bella accepted the fate that one of her tops would be stolen by Riley within the next few days. 

“You said visions plural,” Bella pointed out. 

“I did,” Alice agreed. “I saw you as a vampire. You looked happier.” 

Chapter Text

Bella was spinning in the center of a ballroom, her skin refracting light, a kaleidoscope shimmering across the gloss-laminated floor. She felt strong, felt peaceful, felt power, felt home. Time passed quickly, the temperature with it, cycling through seasons as she watched the light dance upon the walls; their paintings caressed by chromatic reflections. She moved without thought, standing before the painting Carlisle had in his study, it’s edges now framed with gold. Her finger traced over his face before it repeated the movement over Aro’s, then Marcus’, then Caius’. Laughter filled the room as she once again zipped across to another wall, rose scenting the air as red petals fell from her lips. 

Waking up to darkness was something Bella despised and it took her longer than she would like to realize her phone was vibrating on the bedside table. Grunting as she rolled onto her back, she threw her legs over the side of the bed, picked it up, and groaned. It was 5am and Unknown Caller was flashing up on her screen. She answered, eyes watchful on the door. 

“Hello,” she said. 

“Sorry to wake you, Bella,” Esme said and Bella scratched her neck as she stretched her legs, yawning.  

“It’s fine,” she replied. Though she had been enjoying her dream. What was with the rose petals? “What’s going on?” 

“The nomad was scented on Quiliete land,” Esme explained. “The wolves are tracking him on their side. Alice is on lookout for his decisions, and Jasper has gone with Rose, Emmett, and Carlisle to look through the forest.” 

“Are you nearby?” Bella asked, worrying about Charlie. 

“Yes, Edward and I are watching the house.” Bella rolled her eyes, wondering how long it would take him to mention her human vulnerabilities, if he had stopped at all. “Alice asked me to call, she says you should get dressed in case you have to leave quickly.”

“He won’t come here while I’m home,” Bella said with certainty, “not unless he plans to rummage through my drawers with me sitting here.” The thought amused her. 

“It’s just precaution,” Esme said, and Bella imagined her smiling in a motherly way, reassuring her. Bella snorted, she didn’t need reassurance or another mother. 

“I’ll be in the kitchen in case Alice needs you to call again,” Bella needlessly said and hung up. She dressed in her athletic wear just in case Charlie caught her up early, it would be easier to say she was going out for a run or just getting back, depending on the time. The house was eerily silent as she sat at the kitchen table, mug of coffee before her, the smell grounding her. Though she had been joking with Esme before, she tried to imagine what she would do if Riley did turn up. Would he get past Edward and Esme? Would they get hurt? Anxiety stirred as she went on to question Charlie’s safety. Alice hadn’t foreseen anything happening to him but then Riley’s fashion pitstop wasn’t going according to plan either. She sat, completely still, as she thought and only stood once her coffee turned cold so she could make a new one. 

An hour later, her phone buzzed again and Bella was so stiff from sitting that she ached as she leaned forward to pick it up. 

Unknown: Be ready. 

Bella growled in irritation, ready for what? She stood carefully and paced for a half a minute before deciding to stretch her muscles. When she heard a door open upstairs and footsteps, Bella bit the inside of her cheek. “Ready for what?” She asked the empty kitchen. “Charlie, Riley, to run? What?” Buzz . 

Unknown: Leave now. 

Bella threw her arms up in exasperation and glared at her cell, she pulled a note from her pocket and left it on the table to let Charlie know she’d gone for a run, and left before he made it down the stairs. The wind was astonishingly loud despite the time of day and rain was spitting as she jogged slowly down the street, her eyes fulgurating as she looked for any sign of movement. When she heard a car somewhere down the road behind her, she glanced back and stopped; recognizing Edward in the driver’s seat and Alice beside him. Bella climbed in as they pulled to a stop beside her and Edward waited for her to fasten her seatbelt. 

“What’s with all the cryptic texts?” Bella asked as she did so, shooting Edward an exasperated glare in the rearview mirror. 

“He keeps changing his mind,” Alice told her, ignoring the question. Click. Edward drove on. “He knows he’s in danger and it’s all- spotty! The pack is blocking me!” 

“Where’s Esme?” 

“Staying at the house to protect Charlie,” Edward replied, “Carlise’ll join her, they’ll keep him safe.” Bella was relieved, not realizing until that moment just how detrimental she had been to Charlie’s safety just by staying at the house. She watched out of the window as the town passed by, replaced by trees on route towards the highway. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Ours,” Alice said. “He considered hunting you down to kill you, I saw you asleep in bed when he arrived. He’s stronger than we anticipated and he’s running out of options which means he’ll act fast.” 

“Unpredictable,” Bella said quietly to herself, surmising Alice’s words for her. “Great.” She wondered if taking her into the forest, even if it was to their house, would only bring Alice’s original vision to fruition, but kept the thought to herself. The drive was tense and Bella’s limbs were freezing up with nerves the longer she sat, waiting for Alice’s vision to change or for Edward to speak again. She felt useless needing a chaperone to safety, weak. It was something she actively fought against experiencing, needing boxing and resilience - and a sharp tongue - to help her feel strong and in control. All of her knowledge in self-defense was useless up against a vampire, and she doubted she’d save herself by calling him names. 

They were about 200 yards from the Cullens’ house when Edward disappeared from the driver’s seat; Bella surged forward automatically but within a second, Alice had taken his place and the car was screeching to a stop. Blood was rushing in Bella’s ears, anxiety spiking pins along her hands and forehead. 

What the fuck? 

“Alice?” Bella asked, panicked, waiting for an explanation. 

“Come on,” Alice said, and she was out of the car, opening Bella’s door. Bella climbed out in haste, leaving the door open as she followed Alice up the road in the direction of the house. Why had they stopped driving? “Edward needs help,” Alice said as they got to the bend. 

“Go,” Bella urged, and Alice looked back at her with unseeing eyes before she gave Bella a reassuring smile and disappeared. She looked up and down the road, wondering where Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett were. She paced, mind reeling at the possibilities that this nomad might kill Edward and Alice. Is that why the others were missing? Were they dead? No, Alice would have seen. Bella was only left to imagine worse and worse scenarios for four incredibly long minutes, and she smiled in relief when she saw Edward emerge from the trees. Was it over? 

No. 

Edward’s eyes were pitch black and he was emitting a low rumble as he turned his back to Bella, and Bella saw why as soon as Riley emerged 10 feet away. He looked feral; his clothes torn, tufts of his hair missing. Alice’s drawing did him no justice, Bella assessed; though his beauty was different to that of the Cullens, his appearance sparked fear from her and nothing else. Bella barely had time to see, let alone process, the speed at which Riley moved. One second he was running towards Edward, the latter moving forward to block him, and the next he was on the other side, having somehow gotten by Edward. Time slowed down as he headed straight for her. Bella’s heart was racing in her chest, her stomach flipping over and over again, but it was all happening too quickly; she couldn’t decide to move or speak, or even think. If he’d made it to her, she wouldn’t have had any last thoughts at all. Fortunately for her, Edward was faster and Bella stared as Riley was pulled back over Edward’s head, his body thrown through the air into a tree. Bella flinched at the sound, and then realized she was standing out in the open with her mouth agape. The house was safer, she told herself, as if walls could protect her from a vampire. They’d get him, she was sure of it, and when they did; she’d be waiting for them inside. It was better than standing around and doing fuck all, waiting to be saved or killed; neither option thrilled Bella to the core. She chose a path through the trees heading towards the house and ran, stepping over roots and debris, adrenaline pushing her to run faster than she ever had before. When the house came into view, Bella felt relief flood her, but it was short-lived. Standing three feet away was Riley, a smile twisting on his lips. Where was Edward? Alice? She forced herself to stop, panting as he zipped towards her. How many vampires did she need just to keep one nomad away? 

Where the fuck was- 

Riley was pounced on by one of the wolves and Bella fell backwards onto her ass as she tried to back away. Riley’s screams unnerved her, the sound of his skin ripping apart even more so. It took just over a minute before he was silent, and Edward stepped out of the trees with a lighter to set the remains on fire as soon as the wolf was far enough away. Bella looked up as Alice appeared at her side, and took the hand held out for her so she could get to her feet. She neared the pile of burning limbs, ignoring the grimace on Edward’s face as she moved. It smelled weird, not what she expected burning flesh to smell like, but there was still something akin that pulled at her mind. 

“Sulfur,” she said when it clicked. Like when she filed her nails. 

“We should head inside,” Edward said. Bella regarded him before nodding once, and then looked to Alice who was on her cellphone. Bella assumed she was talking but was unable to make out any words due to the speed. When her gaze shifted again, she locked eyes with Jake. The wolf’s appearance had been so fast, she hadn’t comprehended the copper brown of its coat. 

“Jake,” she said, automatically stepping in his direction. Her voice was softer than she’d heard herself speak in days - hell, maybe months. Maybe years. Her heart was picking up speed again, an overwhelming urge to vomit brought with it. Jake whined quietly. She couldn’t do this with him phased, she realized. “I, uh-” she stammered. “You saved my life. Thank you.” 

“Bella,” Edward said as she continued walking towards him, Jake growled in response, bearing his teeth in Edward’s direction. 

“Ignore him,” Bella said, effectively cutting off Jake’s growls and recapturing his attention. “He’s just bitter you stole his thunder,” she added with a small smile. “Can we talk? I, uh- later? I’d like to see you, the other you that is.” 

“The others are on their way back,” Alice announced. “Charlie will call in precisely two minutes to ask where you are so I better get you home.” Bella didn’t take her eyes away from Jake, waiting for some sort of response that she would see him again before Sunday…  before Carlisle made her immortal, whenever that was. 

“Later?” Bella asked, and was pleased to see Jake nod his head. She waved awkwardly before turning around. “I’ll come by in an hour or so,” she told Edward, and with a boldness she hoped wouldn’t run out, she added, “I think we need to talk too.” Jake growled behind her but Bella didn’t turn back, nor did she wait for confirmation from Edward. 

The drive back felt like it passed in seconds and Bella’s head was swimming, this was turning out to be the most stressful vacation she’d ever taken. When Alice parked down the street from her house, Bella sat for a minute, the silence brushing against her skin like static. 

“Thank you,” she said, and the surprised look on Alice’s face when Bella looked at her made her feel a little smug. “I-” she started and looked through the front window as she sighed, deflating further into the seat. She was exhausted, and given she’d set herself up for not only a candid talk with Edward but Jake too, she was only going to feel more run down by the end of the day. “I’m tired,” she admitted, “so don’t be surprised if I find my second wind, I haven’t forgiven you for cutting me off.” Alice remained quiet as Bella pieced her words together. “But what you’ve done for me these past few days has been helpful.” Helpful wasn’t the right word and she gestured with her hands in tired frustration. “I mean- you giving me space, and time to talk to Carlisle, and you know saving my life. It’s- I appreciate it.” 

“There isn’t a single word in any language on this planet, Bella, that explains how sorry I am. I looked.” Alice watched her closely, unmoving, her tone the embodiment of grief. “Before we left, I had never in my known life experienced heartbreak, and when Edward demanded that we leave, I saw glimpses of your time at College in New York. I thought this was proof that you would be okay, that you would move on and be happy. If I’d have known-” 

“Don’t do that,” Bella interrupted, and sighed with her eyes closed. “You knew then what I wanted. Whether it appeared to work out or not, what I went through would never have been worth it.” 

“Bella-” 

“I know,” she muttered, “no words on this planet, I know. I realized years ago that there wasn’t anything you could say. I can’t forgive you for it, I don’t think I ever will.” Bella unbuckled her seat belt. “But I don’t want to spend the rest of my, hopefully long, existence avoiding you.” 

“I won’t ever leave you again, if that’s what you ask for, Bella,” Alice stressed. “Jasper and I discussed it. We’re with you, we should have always been with you.” Bella didn’t know what to make of this declaration, confused as to how Alice and Jasper could leave their family. Would Jasper be forced to change his diet again without Carlisle’s support? Would she be a vegetarian without them? There were too many questions. 

“I need more time,” Bella replied and watched Alice nod from the corner of her eye. It wasn’t as straightforward with Alice, she realized, to tie up loose ends. Bella knew it was over with Edward, that they would never be together again, and she was okay to part ways with him again. Bittersweet, but she would feel better for it. It was the same with Jake, though she anticipated their parting of ways to be with a lot of hostility on his end after she told him of her plans. But with Alice… Bella knew deep down that she wanted to still see her when all was said and done, she had never had a sibling and no friend had ever come as close as Alice had. Could she move on from feeling betrayed? Or would this anger towards Alice and the Cullens remain with her indefinitely? “Can you pick me up in a bit? I’ll need to bullshit some story to Charlie and I definitely need a shower.” 

“I’ll be here,” Alice assured. 

“I’m going to see Jake today,” Bella told Charlie, resting against the countertop as she waited for the kettle to boil. Charlie looked up from his phone, reading glasses on the edge of his nose. Bella smiled fondly for a second and then mirrored Charlie’s serious expression. She was nervous. 

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked after a minute, thinking about his response. Bella shrugged. “Do you need a ride to the Rez?” 

“No,” she said. “I’m going to see Alice this morning, there’s still stuff to talk about.” 

“Alright,” he grunted. “Call if you need me to pick you up later.” Bella nodded and said that she would. Charlie was working which Bella was pleased about; she didn’t want him to be waiting. They would spend tomorrow together, just the two of them, and Bella had to turn away as she realized it would be one of the last memories he had of her if Carlisle kept his agreement. She promised herself she would make it a day to remember. 

Chapter Text

Edward was sitting at his piano when Bella found him, his fingers resting on the keys but applying no pressure. It was disconcerting for her, to be reminded of the song he once created and played for her. It stung a wound she was hell bent on closing. 

“Where is everyone?” Bella asked, standing two feet away, hands in her pockets. Edward rose with an elegance Bella yearned for and pulled the lip down over the piano keys. His gaze on her was steady, as if he was taking in every millimeter and committing it to memory. Bella shifted and raised her brows, prompting Edward to answer. 

“Carlisle and Jasper are meeting with Sam,” he told her. “Rosalie and Emmett are hunting. Esme is upstairs with Alice.” Bella was relieved that Rosalie wasn’t around to hear what Bella had to say, not that the blonde could talk her round; Bella was just too worn out to argue with both of them. “Would you like to go out? We could go to the meadow.” Bella grimaced. 

“No,” she said and shook her head. “The last time I followed you into the forest didn’t end so well for me.” Edward had the decency to look abashed. 

“Bella,” he started. “What I said to you, I didn’t mean it.” Bella’s lips thinned. “I knew that you would try to follow me and I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to leave if you didn’t believe I…” 

“That you didn’t love me,” Bella finished for him. “I know. Jasper said as much on Saturday when he ruined a perfectly good shopping trip.” It felt surreal that it hadn’t even been a week since vampires had come back into her life, and now she was set to become one. Jasper turning up in Barnes & Noble was quite possibly the best thing that could have happened, but she wasn’t about to say as much. “The more I hated you, the less likely I was to try and find you. Bravo. It worked out, you must be pleased.” 

“You have no idea how painful it was to say those words to you,” he said, voice quiet. “I wanted you to be safe, to have a full and happy life. You deserved to have human experiences and properly live your life, Bella. You couldn’t have had those things with me.” Bella smiled bitterly, resentment stirring. 

“And that’s still what you want?” She asked. 

“It is,” he conceded.

“So nothing I said yesterday enlightened you at all,” she scoffed and shook her head, exasperated. 

“Things change for humans, Bella. That’s how life works, it’s how it’s supposed to be.” 

“I countered this yesterday, we’re not going to have the same conversation,” Bella said and crossed her arms. “I will be changed, I don’t need your permission. It’s not up for discussion.” Edward clenched his teeth and Bella could see the argument forming in his eyes. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue this with you. You know that.” 

“Enlighten me,” he ground out through his teeth. 

“ When I’m changed,” she started, “I won’t be sticking around. That’s not to say I won’t see any of you ever again, but I won’t be joining the family.” 

“I still love you, Bella,” Edward said. “And if you’re changed, you’ll feel the pull just as I do.” That answered that question, Bella supposed. She regarded him, taking in the curves of his face, and the eyes she had once gotten to know so well. It felt redundant to reconsider, even with his certainty. What she had felt back then was all consuming, there was never any doubt that he wasn’t her forever. Bella had been convinced that, somehow, she felt the mating pull too despite being human. He was everything she wanted, everything she would ever want. 

“I don’t feel that way about you anymore,” Bella admitted, losing the bite in her tone. She sounded sad, and tired, and defeated. But there was also something wistful in her voice, acceptance. 

“I know you’re angry with me...” he replied after a brief silence. Bella wondered what was going through his mind, wishing she could see what it was that made him so certain so she could unpick it. She chuckled and stepped backwards. 

“Angry,” she hummed. “I am,” she agreed, “there is a very nasty part of me that wants you to hurt the same way. That’s not love. I should want you to be happy, I should want to work things out so that we can be happy together. I should want to be here with you right now, no matter how painful it is.” Bella watched as her words sank in, bringing out a sadness on his face that she’d never imagined quite right. 

“I’ll earn your forgiveness, Bella,” he said, “whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.” Bella threw her hands up. 

“You’ve just said you don’t want me to be changed,” Bella said, raising her voice. “If you had your way, I’d be heading back to New York on Sunday and never seeing any of you ever again. When are you supposed to be earning my forgiveness? You either want me around or you don’t, you either want to be forgiven or you don’t. You don’t get to have your own way in both scenarios.” Bella paced and chewed the inside of her cheek. “What am I doing?” She asked herself and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She huffed and turned back to him. “I just wanted you to know so that there aren’t any expectations,” she told him, “I will be changed and I won’t be staying. You may still believe you did the right thing, I hope it brings you some sort of comfort. But this, between us, won’t change. You wanted me to hate you and I do- I did- I mean, I don’t want to. It would be easier if we just let each other go.” 

“I can’t do that,” Edward frowned. 

“You’ve already done it once,” Bella reminded him. “I’m sorry I can’t make it easier,” she lied. “If you can think of a way to hate me, it might help. But I’m still shit at lying so…” They stared at one another, Edward’s eyes begging Bella for something she wasn’t able to give. Audacity, she snorted. “I’m going to go. If it’s any consolation, Jake’s going to enjoy our conversation even less.” Bella shot him a tight smile that lacked any fondness before she retreated from the room, an ache stretching across her forehead and digging in. Alice met her by the door, a sympathetic look on her face. 

“I’ll drive you to the treaty line,” she said. “Jasper said Jake’s waiting for you.” Bella nodded her consent though Alice hadn’t asked, and thanked her in advance for the ride. She was feeling more apprehensive about seeing Jake, their last conversation had been an argument and Bella had felt ill for months afterwards. There was something about Jake that remained under her skin, even after all this time. He’d saved her from herself when Edward and the Cullens left, and she had needed him like she’d never needed someone else before. She was going to hurt him again and he didn’t deserve it. 

“Bella,” Billy greeted with a fond smile, opening the door wider so she could see into the house. He looked older, tireder too, and Bella appreciated it more than she thought she could. Charlie looked the same, she’d noticed, with the addition of reading glasses but then he’d been middle aged since his twenties. Jess and Angela were unchanged too, for the most part. Why was it Bella felt a hundred in comparison? “It’s good to see you.” 

“It’s good to see you too,” she replied, and it was. After things had ended with Jake, Billy had made sure to stop by and remind her she was always welcome, no matter what. Bella severely doubted the invitation would still apply once she left this time. 

“Jake’s out back, ruining my yard,” Billy told her and she shot him a bemused smile before heading around the side of the house. Jake was… well, Jake. He still looked beautiful, even with the guarded look on his face. Long gone were his sunny smiles, Bella thought as she made her ways towards him. He was moving what looked to be heavy car parts, creating trails through the mud and unearthing patches of grass. Ruining indeed. 

“Hey,” she said once she was a few feet away, well aware that Jake was actively avoiding looking at her. It was a good thing she left, she told herself as she took in his baby-faced features unchanged in her time away; it would have destroyed her watching herself age alone. “What’re you up to?” She asked, lowering her gaze to the tire by his feet. 

“You’re not here to make small talk,” Jake pointed out and his tone cut through her with such force, she was surprised into silence; her calm facade flickering as they finally made eye contact. 

“Right,” she mumbled and swallowed, self-preservation begging her to run away from the conversation. He would find out eventually, she didn’t need to tell him now. They could, at least, end things with discomfort and not hatred. Right? Or was he already there? “I- uh.” God, what was she supposed to say? I’m just letting you know I’ll be undead soon? She took a deep, steadying breath and kicked the tire gently with the tip of her boot. “Thank you for saving me earlier.” 

“ He always was shit at protecting you.” Bella wasn’t sure if she agreed with this statement or not so surpassed it entirely. 

“It’s been a minute since-” since we last stood here... since you said you’d rather I die than meet another Edward. Since I said I already had. “I wanted to clear the air, I guess. I said a lot of things, things that I didn’t mean.” 

“We both did,” Jake replied and Bella felt a flicker of hope. “I should have gone with you to New York.” Bella shook her head, not wanting to go over possibilities that would never come to pass, she had done it enough over the years and it had brought her nothing but pain. 

“It wouldn’t have worked, either way,” she said and was relieved to see a forlorn acceptance in his eyes. “I’m different. God, Jake, how I’ve changed.” She looked up towards the sky. “You always deserved better-”

“Bella,” he interrupted, ready to disagree. 

“No,” she rebutted. “I know it’s true, and you’ll know it too when you meet her , Jake.” Her being his intended, the girl he’d imprint on one day; she would change his whole world upside down. “I’m grateful for everything, truly. You were there when I needed you.” 

“Not always,” he muttered. 

“You couldn’t leave,” she pointed out. 

“We could have been long distance-”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” she reminded him again. 

“Right,” he bit, “you’ve changed.” Bella rolled her eyes and smiled despite herself, she had missed bickering with him. “Are you… Are you getting back together with him now that they’re back?” Bella was surprised at the question but knew she shouldn’t have been, the disgust was back in his voice. Jealousy? Maybe. Or perhaps he just loathed Edward that much. Bella didn’t blame him. 

“No,” she said, “he believes that I’m still his mate but I don’t. I don’t love him, I haven’t for a while.” 

“And me?” 

“Jake-” She started, shoulders rising defensively. 

“Do you still love me?” He asked, and Bella hated how desperate his eyes looked as he stared her down. But there was a strength in them too. He would get through it, she told herself. He had to. 

“I’ll always love you... But not in that way, not anymore.” Jake’s posture sagged and a sadness radiated from him in waves; Bella wished she had someone to support her, to keep her upright in the storm of her own creation. Her chest was on fire, her breath laced with pain and something poisonous. There was nothing more she could do but hurt him and hope that he forgot about her sooner rather than later. It’s what she would have wanted. 

“You’re going back to New York,” he nodded, resigned. 

“New Jersey,” Bella corrected, and added “maybe” in response to his assumption. She immediately cringed at the way his brows knitted together in confusion. It wasn’t like she could lie to him, she was shit at it and he could hear her heartbeat. 

“Where else would you be going?” He saw her hesitate. “Bella?” 

“With them,” she whispered. 

“But you just said-” 

“Not because Edward and I are getting back together.” He searched her face frantically and Bella took a few steps back when she saw it click. 

“You’re going to be one of them?” She flinched at the accusation. “After everything they’ve done?” His body was beginning to shake and Bella discerned that she had to calm him down lest he gift her a parting scar - if she lived at all. 

“Jake,” she warned, “you need to calm down.” 

“Calm down?” He laughed. “Bella, you’re going to be my enemy. You’re choosing evil. I thought you had more sense. What about Charlie?” 

“He won’t know, he can’t,” Bella explained. “I know how you feel-” 

“Oh, you do? Well that’s great, as long as you know.” 

“I didn’t come here for permission, Jake,” she glared, a sickly anger climbing her from within. She wasn’t going to repeat herself like she had with Edward. This was her decision, why were they acting as though she was the one forcing vampirism upon them? What did it matter if she was changed? Both Edward and Jake had lived without her for years. It was her who was alone with her memories, her who was suffering every time she saw herself in the mirror. 

“So you thought you’d just drop by and let me know you’re becoming a killer?” He asked, and Bella matched the fierceness of his glower. Who was he to assume who she would be? None of them knew. They just projected their own fears and she’d had more than enough. “I never believed you were suicidal-” 

“That’s because I’m not,” Bella huffed. Immortality was hardly a death sentence, if anything; it was the opposite of suicide. 

“They’re monsters, Bella. You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me.” 

“You’re right,” Bella shouted. “But don’t I deserve to be more than just alive ? Don’t I deserve to be happy? To look at myself for once and feel right? Who am I living for, Jake?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Charlie? Your Mom? Your friends?” 

“They’re not enough!” 

“Your own parents aren’t enough? Bella, your death will destroy them.” 

“They would want me to be happy.” 

“They would want you to live,” Jake growled. Bella threw up her arm to protect her face just in time as Jake’s transformation knocked her back over 10 feet. She groaned as she hit the ground, the wind stolen from her lungs. It was a bit of a rough way to bring her to her senses, dissipating the spitfire within her, but Bella was glad for it. She was okay too, for the most part. Pushing herself up into a sitting position proved difficult and she was forced to open her eyes and stare down at the wound on her arm, covered in mud and oozing blood. 

“Fuck,” she hissed, the pain hitting her then. Fuck, it stung. Bella looked at Jake then and saw he was frozen in place, no doubt spiralling in guilt. “Jake, it’s fine,” she said, she attempted to get to her feet but struggled; her lower back twinged and jerked her movement. Jake emitted an incredibly loud whine. “Jake-” 

He bolted. 

Bella sighed and lay back down on the ground, the sky too bright to gaze at for long. She closed her eyes and groaned again, this time with misery. That hadn’t gone well , understatement of the year. 

Chapter Text

Bella trudged out of the ER exit with a prescription for a pain reliever and a tightly wrapped bandage around her right arm. It was nearly two in the afternoon but it felt like eight, and all she felt like doing was taking a hot shower, throwing on her sweats, and eating something covered in cheese. Her hope that she had concluded tiring conversations for the day was doused out as she saw Charlie’s cruiser pull up in front of her. 

“Bella, what happened?” He asked, getting out of the car and jogging over to her. I got catapulted through the air by a werewolf was a forbidden response and so Bella had to fall back on lying. Thankfully, it wasn’t her lie which made it far easier for her to perform. Billy had found her lying on the ground, feeling sorry for herself, and called Sam to drive her to the ER. 

“I was at Jake’s,” she said. “He has car parts all over the place, I tripped and cut my arm on some piece of junk.” Charlie sighed and visibly relaxed. “Sorry for worrying you, Sam gave me a ride and,” she pulled her cell from her back pocket, “I landed on my phone. It won’t turn on.” 

“Christ, Bella,” Charlie said, exasperated. “Come on, let’s get you home. We’ll stop by the pharmacy on the way.” Bella followed silently, listening to him as she lowered herself into the car. Ow ow ow. “I thought your balance was better now, what with all that exercising. Maybe you should take some more classes when you get back to the city…” 

Flinching, Bella knocked her arm against her head and groaned. Alice was sitting on the edge of her bed, worry somehow creasing her porcelain features. “Why aren’t you answering your phone? I saw you at the hospital. What happened?” Bella sighed as if she were suffering and grabbed a hold of Alice to help sit up. One glance at her bedside alarm clock and she sighed again, she hadn’t even managed an hour of sleep. 

“I broke my phone,” Bella replied, answering the first question. “Sam drove me to the ER. Jake didn’t handle the news very well.” Bella gestured to the bandage on her arm. 

“He hurt you?” Alice asked in disbelief. 

“He didn’t mean to,” Bella defended. “He was upset and instead of calming him down, I just got angry. It was well deserved, trust me.” Alice shook her head in disagreement. “I’m fine.” 

“You could have died,” Alice whined. 

“That would have been incredibly ironic considering,” Bella smirked but stopped when Alice’s concern deepened. She wished she could blame it on the pain reliever she’d taken, those things were strong, but the dark humour was all her. “I don’t think I’ll see Jake again before Sunday so, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” Alice looked undecided as to whether or not she’d let the conversation move on but then smiled, albeit rather tightly. “If it’s too much,” she started, understanding the blood - though now dried - from her wound was probably difficult for Alice to be close to. 

“I’m fine,” Alice mimicked and Bella snorted in response. “I wanted to make sure you were okay after earlier, and then going to see Jake.” Bella rested her head back against the headboard and chewed on the inside of her cheek. Was she okay? 

“I will be,” she decided. “Both conversations could have gone better, but I said what I needed to. There’s no secrets, no pretenses.” Alice smiled. 

“Edward will see eventually.” 

“You’ve seen?” Bella asked, surprised. 

“No,” Alice grimaced. “I just mean, he’ll have to.” Bella supposed that was true. How was it only five pm? She groaned. 

“Today is going to last forever,” she complained, “just to torture me.” 

“Not once you go back to sleep. You definitely need the rest, I just needed to- to check.” Bella felt something small dislodge somewhere in her gut, and squirmed. “I’ll go now. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Bella simply nodded until she was left alone. She was not going to get attached, not again. 

Saturday brought a thunderstorm. It was Bella’s least favorite reminder of her time in Forks, dragging memories from her depths before Charlie had even woken up. Were they playing baseball somewhere up in the hills? Bella grumbled at the thought, and hoped it dredged up the same awful thoughts for Edward as it did for her. Charlie made it downstairs just after 10, dressed in jeans and a heavy duty shirt. 

“Morning,” he smiled, the weather clearly not an impacting factor on his mood. Bella looked to the window, rain thumping against the glass. How was she supposed to make this a memorable day? “I thought we’d drive to the city and catch a movie,” he said, grabbing milk out of the refrigerator. That wasn’t a bad idea.  

“What’s on?” 

“Choose when we get there?” 

“Deal,” Bella smiled. 

“Oh, uh, Sue is gonna drop a phone off later. It’s not new but I figured you could use it till you get a new one.” Bella sat silently as she watched Charlie - her Dad - make himself a hot drink, suffocating the urge rising within her to cry. It would only concern him, she told herself. But she was just so grateful for everything he had ever done for her. “You okay?” Charlie asked, watching her concentrate. Bella blinked. 

“Yeah,” she said, and nodded for good measure. “When do you want to leave?” 

“11? I need time to wake up.” 

“And check game scores,” Bella muttered. Her teasing earned her a fond roll of the eyes. Bella sat with him at the table as he drank his coffee, the radio now on, competing to be heard with the wind outside. She struggled with letting time pass idly, feeling it rush across her skin in every direction, wasted. He couldn’t possibly know that he would never see her again after tomorrow, and as she watched him grimace at the scores being read out, she wished she didn’t either. It felt sickening, a tide rising in her stomach; thick tar clogging up her intestines. “How come you never had any more kids?” Bella asked, just as shocked by her question as Charlie was. 

“Uh- what?” 

“I mean,” she flushed, “after Renee left. Didn’t you want to have more children?” Charlie’s face scrunched up as he thought, searching for an answer to her incredibly out of the blue question. 

“It’s not that simple, Bells,” he sighed. “I didn’t want more, I just wanted you and your Mom.” Bella regretted asking, feeling guilty on Renee’s behalf. Why had she never put more effort into spending time with him? How different would she be if she’d grown up in Forks? 

“Do you regret not coming with us?” Bella asked, and then backtracked when she saw the distressed look in Charlie’s eyes. “I- forget it. I’m sorry I asked. Not exactly last day material, sorry.” 

“No,” he reassured. “I just… wasn’t expecting you to ever ask, if I’m honest.” Bella wished she hadn’t. “I spent many years wondering what ifs,” he said, and ran a hand through his hair as he thought; watching the rain run down the window. “Work and wondering. But the more I saw you in the Summers, the more I got to know the kind of person you are… and, well, I wouldn't want you to be any other way.” Bella’s eyes burned, fighting back tears for a second time. Charlie’s cheeks bruised red when he noticed her emotional reaction. “It would have been nice to see you more,” he added with a small smile, trying to tease to deflect the seriousness of his words. 

“Yeah,” Bella said, her voice breaking as a tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, and stood from the table. Charlie watched with growing concern as she cleared her throat and tried to distract herself. 

“Bells,” he said softly, taking her hand to stop her from running off. Bella forced a smile. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing,” Bella lied. “I just- it’s been a long week and I’m… I’m going to miss you, that’s all. I really needed this week, even with all the skeletons forcing their way out the closet.” Charlie snorted at her analogy. He squeezed her hand. 

“I’ll miss you too,” he said. “You know what this means though, right?” He asked and Bella waited for him to tell her. “You’ll just have to come back soon so we can go fishing.” Bella chuckled at the enthusiasm in his tone and shook her head. 

“I’ll leave the fishing to you and Billy,” she said and headed upstairs to get dressed. 

The movie theater was practically empty but Bella still felt horribly claustrophobic as the feature started. Charlie had wanted to see Lost Boys, a film about a vampire hunter being hired to kill DJ X, a vampire who promotes raves to increase his army numbers. It was incredibly bizarre, not all the comedy lost on her, and Bella spent more time watching Charlie’s expression than she did the screen. She was certain he enjoyed it and he said as much on their way out. 

Her skin crawling need to act struck again as they sat opposite one another in Jimmy John’s. Charlie was oblivious to her plight, happily chewing a chicken sub as she twisted her straw, her nerves appeased by the sound it made as it scratched against the plastic lid. 

“So, um,” Charlie said after swallowing. “You didn’t say how it went yesterday with Jake. Besides, you know.” He gestured at her arm though the bandage was safely concealed beneath her jacket. Bella glanced around at the strangers on nearby tables, not pleased with his chosen topic of conversation but glad to be doing something. 

“We argued,” she told him. “He thought that because I was spending time with Alice, I would be going to see Edward… maybe get back together with him.” 

“That’s a big assumption,” Charlie grunted. Bella prayed that becoming a vampire gave her a better ability to lie otherwise she would doom herself within a year. The Volturi would surely discover her ineptitude, perhaps avoiding civilisation for the next few decades was best. It’d be awfully lonely , a voice whispered in the back of her mind. It’s safer , she chastised it. 

“He asked me if I still loved him,” Bella continued. Charlie surveyed her demeanor after she said this, looking for a visible tell of what she’d said. “I said I always would but not… not that way.” 

“It’s good you were honest with him,” Charlie commended though he looked sad as he said it. Bella hated the reminder that Charlie adored Jake like a surrogate son, pleased as punch when they’d started dating. “I’m sorry he took it badly.” Bella shrugged. 

“I didn’t exactly help once he got going,” Bella admitted. “Turns out I have a bit of a temper.” Charlie snorted and took another bite of his food. 

“A bit,” he muttered to himself between bites. Bella flicked a chip at him. “Have you thought more about Coach Jimmy?” Charlie then asked, and it took Bella a few long seconds to remember what he was talking about. Her life in New Jersey seemed so far away now, the events leading up to her arrival in town felt like another life. She supposed it soon would be. 

“Uh,” she stammered. “Not really, it’s been a busy few days.” 

“Well, I hope you make him work for his forgiveness,” Charlie told her. “And if he gives you any trouble at all, you let me know, alright?” Bella nodded, unable to do anything else. What was CJ doing now? Was he back in New Jersey already? What would he say when she never turned up to Box again? He’d probably think her overly sensitive, tell himself she was ridiculous for cutting him off over something so unimportant. Bella wanted to wish him bad fortune but the fury she’d felt less than a week ago was gone, replaced with a bone weary tiredness and a yearning for new beginnings. 

“Do you think you and Sue will ever get married?” Bella asked, thinking about Charlie and his possible new beginnings once she was gone. Charlie choked on his soda. 

“Jesus, Bella,” he complained, Bella grinned at him with little regret. She waited for him to recover and clean up some of his drink, and shot him a look that said ‘well?’ He sighed. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “No? Maybe? I hadn’t thought about it.” Bella recognized the look of a bad lie. 

“You want to,” she pointed out and held her hand up to silence him when he started to disagree. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, Dad. You deserve to be happy and Sue makes you happy.” 

“You’re being very sentimental today,” he muttered. 

“I’m serious,” she pushed. “Life is short, Dad. What’s the point in pretending you don’t want something? I’m sure Sue would love to marry you.” 

“We don’t even live together,” he pointed out. 

“What’re you waiting for? A sign?” Bella asked, she knew what she was doing, encouraging him to pursue his desires so he was a little less sad when he inevitably heard of her death. Bella hadn’t thought it through yet, putting off her Death Plan for as long as possible. She had meant what she’d said to Jake, she did believe Charlie and Renee would want her to be happy - even if they knew the life she was choosing, but she would still miss them, still suffer when she thought of them grieving over her. 

“I should probably discuss it with her first,” Charlie said, “see whether or not it’s something she wants before I go down on one knee.” 

“But you will,” Bella smiled triumphantly. 

“Maybe,” Charlie relented. “I’d sooner see you settle down.” Bella rolled her eyes. 

“I’m too young to settle,” she shrugged. “I’d rather... “ be a vampire, “live a life of adventure.” 

“Love can be an adventure too, Bells,” Charlie said, “if you let it.” 

Bella tried her hardest to stay away from overly deep conversations once they left the diner. They listened to classic rock on the drive home, stopped in at Thriftway to get snacks, and fell into the sofa to eat them; their evening spent watching reruns of 3rd Rock from the Sun. At first, Bella felt good; Charlie had had a good day and they’d spent it together as planned. Nothing had gone wrong, they’d even shared feelings like emotionally competent adults. But the later it got, the more stressed she became, feeling as though time was running out. When Charlie fell asleep, she considered waking him up so they could talk some more, but she knew it wasn’t fair on him - and she worried he might get suspicious if she tried to force it. Forlorn but resigned, she draped a blanket over him and grabbed the cell Sue had dropped off from the kitchen table. It took nearly half an hour for her to set it up but it was a much needed distraction, and she felt lost again as soon as she’d gone through its contents. What was Alice doing? It wasn’t like she could ask, she hadn’t written down her cell number. She decided to call Angela instead, knowing her number by heart after depending on it so assiduously during her last year of school. No answer. 

Bella: Are we still on for lunch tomorrow? 

Bella: It’s Bella. New phone. 

Bella was glad Angela had wanted to see her again, and that they’d arranged to meet up. It would save her from sitting around all morning, trying to think of more - potentially uncomfortable - conversation starters for over Charlie’s morning coffee. It was well after midnight when sleep eventually claimed her, and she spent the night frowning through her dreams. 

Chapter Text

Nightmare after nightmare guided Bella through the night, so she wasn’t surprised to wake up before seven with a headache and no desire to go back to sleep. Angela had replied to her text after midnight, apologizing for missing Bella’s call and explaining she’d been working. Bella consumed three mugs of coffee, the first with naproxen for her sins, before Charlie woke on the couch and went up to shower. When Alice appeared at the window, gesturing for Bella to come to her, Bella almost thought she was hallucinating. 

“What’re you doing?” Bella whispered, stepping out onto the porch. 

“Charlie’s in the shower, he won’t hear,” Alice reassured. 

“A neighbor might see you,” Bella countered but Alice ignored her needless concern. 

“I would have called but someone broke their cell yesterday,” Alice chastised in a sing-song voice, prompting Bella to frown at her. “I know you have plans with Angela today but you and Carlisle need to talk.” 

“Death plan,” Bella surmised quietly. Despite her disappointment at having to cancel on Angela, one of the only friends Bella would truly miss, Bella felt a thrill rush through her. She was going to be a vampire. She was going to make plans with Carlisle. After a lifetime of feeling misplaced and years of yearning for a promised life just out of reach, Bella was finally going to become her vision. “I’m going to be a vampire,” she said out loud, a splitting grin stretched over her teeth. Alice beamed back at her, pulling her into a hug that Bella didn’t fight. 

Angela was similarly disappointed but was mollified when Bella explained she was going to talk to Edward, assuming Bella was wanting closure before she left for New York. Bella promised to call her again soon, and knew she would, even if it was after her transformation if it happened before her death . Carlisle was waiting for her in his study though most of the furniture was either missing or covered with dust sheets. Bella stood before the painting again, unconscious of Carlisle’s inquisitive eyes upon her. 

“Why didn’t you take this with you?” Bella asked, satisfied that mentioning their departure ached less in the reflection of her scheduled immortality. 

“This piece is one of many that I was gifted,” Carlisle explained as he crossed around his desk to once again stand by her side, underneath the scrutiny of the Volturi’s painted  ruby eyes. 

“Is he really that regal behind closed doors?” Bella asked, reaching up her hand to ghost her touch over Aro’s intense gaze, just as she had in her dream. 

“Aro is unlike any vampire in existence,” Carlisle replied. Aro . 

“Hebrew?” Bella asked curiously. 

“Presumably, though it also means Warrior in Egyptian,” Carlisle smiled, humoring her interest. 

“I suppose that’s fitting,” Bella thought out loud. “You would have to be to protect an entire way of life.” Bella wasn’t sure if life was the best word considering but Carlisle didn’t feel the need to correct her. 

“Have you given thought to when you would like to be changed?” Carlisle asked, and Bella followed him to a brown chaise that had presumably been brought in for her to sit on. 

“The sooner the better,” Bella stated without pause, though she hadn’t given an exact date much thought at all. “I know I need to return to New York, Charlie will get suspicious if I don’t, and I have a shift tomorrow night.” 

“I agree it would be less conspicuous to resume your everyday routine for a while,” Carlisle smiled. “But there is also the how to take into consideration. We will return to our home in Ithaca-”
“Wait,” Bella frowned. “You’ve been in New York all this time?” Carlisle’s sympathetic look was confirmation enough and Bella wasn’t sure how to process this. Sure, Ithaca was about a five hour drive away but they’d been practically living in the same state. Had they known? Was that why they’d moved there? 

“After we left Forks, we went to stay with our cousins in Alaska,” he said, voice gentle. “We moved to Ithaca two years ago.” Bella sat for a minute, processing this, trying to decipher whether the feeling in her stomach was anger or sadness. She huffed and shook her head, dislodging the incredulity, it didn’t matter . 

“So, you’ll return to Ithaca,” she prompted. 

“Yes,” he confirmed. “We’ll be able to help fake your death and then you will be brought to our house.” It sounded simple enough, Bella thought. “You will, of course, be welcome to stay with us there for as long as you wish. We will continue our residence for a further two years before relocating again.” 

“I want it to look like a freak accident,” Bella told him, not wanting to reflect any on his offer; she had already stated she wouldn’t, after all; there was no point in repeating herself. “So Charlie isn’t left thinking there was something he could have done. I know he’ll try to blame himself somehow.” 

“Maybe it would be wiser to amend your plans,” Carlisle suggested. 

“Why? What’re you thinking?” 

“If you were to arrange more time off work, due to sickness perhaps, you could tell Charlie that you are to travel with Alice and visit us in New York for a day or two. While there, you are unable to afford a flight and I offer to drive you. Naturally you would refuse but after consideration, you would accept loaning a vehicle.” 

“Car crash?” Bella guessed. 

“It would hinder their attempts to identify you but the car would be in my name and I would confirm you were driving.” 

“Charlie will think he could have persuaded me not to go,” Bella sighed. 

“At first,” Carlisle smiled sadly. “But from what I’ve come to know, you are not easily deferred once you’ve set your mind on something.” Bella smirked sardonically, feigning offense. 

“You could just say stubborn.” She sighed. Charlie knew as much, she admitted; she got it from him. “I’ll call work, I was offered 14 days off originally so I guess this all works out.” Of course, she would have to Google the number for the bar as she no longer had anyone’s numbers, but this concern was diminished as Alice appeared in the room; looking completely rattled. 

“Alice?” Carlisle asked, reaching out a worried hand to place on her arm. 

“You were right,” Alice said, eyes on Bella. “It’s Victoria.” 

Bella sat at the table between Alice and Jasper, refusing to contemplate what it meant that she had been given her own chair. It was just a temporary formality. 

“How many?” Emmett asked. 

“I don’t know,” Alice frowned. “15, at least.” 

“Why now?” Rosalie growled, and for once, Bella approved of both her inquiry and attitude. 

“She must have realized Riley wasn’t returning to her,” Edward answered. 

“How long do we have?” Bella asked, looking sideways to Alice. 

“A few days maybe.” Alice responded with a sympathetic tight-lipped smile. It was obvious she was still reeling and frustrated that she didn’t have more information. 

“We’ll have to warn the Pack,” Esme stressed. 

“Maybe they can help,” Bella said, shoving down the maudlin part of her that didn’t want to put Jake in danger,“I doubt they’re expecting any wolves.” 

“A surprise would give us an advantage,” Jasper agreed. 

“Edward and I will go,” Carlisle stated and stood, prompting Edward to disappear from the room. “The sooner we prepare, the better.” 

“So, we’re just supposed to take on an army of Newborns?” Emmett asked in disbelief. 

“Are they even newborns?” Bella asked. “Riley went missing years ago,” she added when they all looked to her for reasoning. 

“Newborns are stronger,” Jasper explained, “Victoria might have changed Riley to be her second in command so she could avoid Alice’s gift, but it’s unlikely she would be able to grow a coven so large without the Volturi’s intervention, even over a few years. Newborns are also more impressionable, they would be more inclined to respect her authority.” Bella nodded in understanding. “But you may have a point,” Jasper added, “it would raise suspicion if 15 or more people went missing from one area, not to mention the rise in deaths due to their uncontrollable thirst.” 

“You think they’re moving around?” Rosalie asked him. 

“It would be incredibly difficult.” 

“What if one of them is gifted?” Bella suggested.

“That might explain it.” 

“So we are going to take on an army of Newborns,” Emmett stressed. 

“Carlisle’s right,” Jasper frowned, “the sooner we prepare, the better. I’ll teach you the best way to defeat them.”

“That could work,” Alice stated, sounding hopeful. 

“What about Bella?” Esme asked, and smiled apologetically at Bella before looking at Alice. Bella bristled at the realization that she was once again going to have to be protected. Why couldn’t Victoria have waited a few months? Then Bella could have ended her ass herself. 

“The army doesn’t  have her scent to track from but Victoria will remember it,” Alice frowned. “She’ll probably split off and look for Bella while we’re fighting the others.” 

“What if I’m not around?” Bella asked. “She can hardly kill me if I’m in New Jersey.” It would mean having to change her Death Plan again but Bella was sure she and Carlisle would figure something out. Alice searched ahead, leaving them to sit in silence and wait. When her eyes cleared, Bella sighed in response to Alice’s expression. 

“When she realizes you’re not here, she bolts, getting away.” Bella thought this was a preferable outcome to being bait, but after consideration, she felt it was better to face Victoria now and finish it once and for all. The prospect of having to look over her shoulder for the rest of eternity didn’t sit well with her, and she figured the Cullens felt similarly on the matter. 

“So I’m the bait,” Bella stated, “where do you want me?” 

Bella cried which caused Charlie to tear up and they both had to suffer through an overly emotional goodbye. He wasn’t pleased with Bella’s change in plans, and stressed that he was worried about her seeing Edward again but Bella reassured him she was going purely for closure. He was adamant about seeing her off at the airport so Alice met them in Seattle and they had to wait in the ladies bathroom for nearly half an hour before Alice announced the path was clear. It was bizarre then having to drive back to Forks, Alice had to ditch Jasper’s car in a secluded off road and then carry Bella back to the house; an experience Bella both loved and hated. 

“Charlie will expect a text in about eight hours,” Alice told her as Bella placed her suitcase down on the bed. Alice and Jasper had loaned Bella their bedroom for her to sleep in over the next few days. They were all to fly to New York together by Saturday at the latest. Bella was going to have to pull the ill card after all, and fortunately, Alice had seen Ben granting her the rest of the week off in sympathy. It paid to have a clairvoyant sometimes, Bella snorted. “Do you need anything?” 

“No, I’m fine,” Bella replied, distinctly uncomfortable in their bedroom. It was better than Edward’s, she reminded herself. That would have been unbearable, and incredibly weird. 

“The wolves are watching everyone train,” Alice told her. “Do you want to come and watch?” 

“Sounds educational,” Bella said in reply and briefly returned Alice’s smile before they made their way downstairs and out of the house. Bella steeled herself for Jake’s anger as they made their way through the trees, certain that he would find her lying to Charlie distasteful. 

“How was the drive?” Esme asked as they arrived in the small clearing, greeting Bella as if she were a friend meeting up for a drink. 

“Fine,” Bella replied hesitantly. “Who’s winning?” 

“Jasper,” Esme smirked. Bella smirked back. 

It was vexing to watch each of the Cullens step up to fight Jasper, mostly because Bella couldn’t follow any of it once they began to move. After an hour, she found a broken log - courtesy of Emmett - to sit down on. After another hour, Jake padded over and fell down beside her, remaining in his wolf form. Bella watched him for a while, silent until her wariness subsided. 

“You’ll be careful, won’t you?” She asked, and Jake huffed as he turned his head to look at her. Bella rolled her eyes. “I just mean, don’t do anything dumb. I know a vampire killing spree is like fucking Christmas to you guys, but you can’t afford any distractions.” His ears flicked; Bella wished she wasn’t having this one-sided conversation with him in his animal form as she had no idea what he was thinking. “And no hurting any of them,” she added, gesturing to the vampires before her, “you might think you can get away with pretending you mistook them for one the enemy, but Edward will know.” This caused another huff, though this time it sounded more indignant. 

At seven, Carlisle and Esme led Bella back to the house. Esme cooked Bella some spaghetti while Carlisle inspected her stitches. 

“They’re healing well,” he said, and began to clean them. “Are you still in any pain?” Bella certainly felt sore but she attributed that more to all her time in the car, and having to cling onto Alice’s back as she’d ran earlier. 

“It doesn't hurt,” Bella told him, and then hissed as he touched an antibacterial wipe to her healing wound. “Well, it didn’t,” she complained. Carlisle merely chuckled and quickly redressed it with a clean bandage. Bella enjoyed her dinner but it felt awkward sitting opposite Esme at the dinner table. “You can go back and train, you know,” she said. 

“That’s alright, Bella,” she said, “Jasper can catch me up tonight.” They lapsed back into silence for a few minutes until Esme seemingly built up her nerve. “Did you enjoy your studies in New York?” It was only then that Bella remembered Esme wanted to catch up, and her chance to do so had been thwarted by Bella immediately leaving to see Jake. 

“It was educational,” she replied warily, aware that she had briefly mentioned that she hadn’t. There was no point in trying to pretend. “I studied English Literature and Creative Writing.” 

“Oh,” Esme smiled, pleased to learn something new. “You write?” 

“Not often,” Bella admitted and sighed. “At least, not as much as I’d like.” 

“Perhaps writing will be a useful tool to teach you control when you’re a newborn,” Esme stated, still happy with Bella’s revelation despite her dour mood. “I used to play the Cello when I was human,” she said, surprising Bella in return. “Even after my transformation, I had a love for it. It was difficult, of course. I broke many instruments, and every time I did so, I only got more frustrated.” Bella listened intently, appreciating the advice in its purpose. “Eventually, I got the hang of it and it felt so gratifying to play again. That’s not to say I no longer needed Carlisle on hand, replacing strings was a nightmare.” 

“How long did it take you to adjust?” Bella asked. Though she had been told there was a control-learning period, it was the first time anyone had mentioned it wasn’t just bloodlust that Bella would struggle with. Perhaps it was simply too obvious to discuss, Bella reasoned. 

“It was a few months before I could handle the Cello and press down strings without breaking them,” Esme replied. 

“I guess I’ll have to find a sturdy pen,” Bella mused dryly, making Esme smile. 

“I’ll have one ready for you.” 

Chapter Text

The battle took place on Tuesday afternoon, not that Bella saw it. She was whisked away up a mountain, forced to sleep in a two-man tent overnight; a test of her sanity, if there ever was one. Jake stayed with her until the fight began, talking without saying much, and then Bella was forced to wait anxiously with Seth, imagining all the ways in which something could go wrong. The most unsettling of which was a scenario wherein Carlisle died, killing Bella’s immortal future with him, followed closely by a similar scenario but this one starred Alice. Bella was relieved to see Edward less than an hour later, assuming they’d been victorious and the danger was over. It was rather anticlimactic but then Bella supposed that was the best outcome, her safety was more important than ever now, and if she was going to meet her maker , she hoped it would be Carlisle. 

“Victoria’s close by,” Edward told her, pulling Bella violently from her musings and to her feet. “I need to get you away from here.” Bella considered arguing with him; they were out in the open, making Victoria easier to see coming, but she wasn’t great at strategizing against revenge-bent vampires yet and so kept her opinion to herself. “Seth, warn the others. Tell them to meet us at the house.” Seth howled his response, and then took off through the trees. 

“Where-?” Bella asked, alarmed that she was losing her only other defense. 

“He’ll scout the woods in front of us,” Edward explained, lifting Bella without warning, cutting off her concerns about their defenseless behind. She glared as she clung to him, promising herself that she would punch him in the arm at least once when she was a newborn. 

They travelled swiftly down the mountain, Edward carrying her in the direction of the Cullen home, until he stopped abruptly and put her down. Bella sucked in a few sharp breaths, disorientated from both the vampire speed and the unrecognizable trees surrounding them. She opened her mouth to ask Edward where they were, what they were doing, if he actually had a plan but a second later, he launched away from her, throwing himself bodily through the trees towards a blur of red hair. Victoria. She wanted to laugh maniacally, reminded in the moment that she’d wished to see Victoria over Edward that day in the bookshop. What was wrong with her? It was just as difficult to watch them move as it had been when Bella had tried to watch training, and she was uncomfortably aware of her heartbeat hammering away in her chest. Multiple times, Victoria managed to get by Edward only to be captured again on her way to kill Bella. When the two of them stopped dancing long enough for Bella to see Victoria’s hold on Edward’s head, Bella forced herself to really consider her situation. Her scent had baited Victoria to the fight as planned, and if she killed Edward, there was no telling if anyone else would save her in time. Victoria would kill her. She would never be a vampire. 

No ! 

Between two shaky breaths, Bella snatched up a sharp rock from the ground and was scraping it harshly against her bandaged arm, adrenaline numbing her to the pain. When Victoria’s head snapped up in her direction, unable to resist, Bella realized her planless plan to distract had worked. It gave Edward the upper hand; he pulled out from her grasp, spun around over her shoulders and with a sickening crack , he twisted her head clean off. Bella dropped the stone and after a few seconds, fell to her ass. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, gripping the fabric of her coat for something to hold onto. Her pulse was thumping behind her ears, on her forehead, above the bite on her wrist. She felt as though she was going to vomit, hot acidic bile rising up the back of her throat. It took a few minutes of chasting herself, demanding better composure, before she opened her eyes again and saw Edward watching her. He stood on the opposite side of the small bonfire, looking altogether too knowing. Bella took another deep breath. Sulfur. 

Once Bella recovered, she willingly climbed up onto Edward’s back so that he could deliver them to his house, but Edward didn’t take them there. Instead they arrived at a large clearing littered with similar bonfires, Sulfur thicker in the air, turning Bella’s stomach. The Cullens and pack alike were standing idly among them. 

“What’s going on?” Bella asked when Edward stopped and she climbed down. He didn’t answer; Bella assumed that meant he didn’t know either. They walked across the field in silence, meeting the equally quiet group. “Is someone hurt?” Bella asked, looking around for any missing members of their army. 

“The Volturi are coming,” Alice told her, eye unseeing. Bella immediately looked to Carlisle, her chest tightening in a way that was becoming far too familiar. She begged herself to calm down, to keep it together; chanting an internal mantra that panic solved nothing. 

“Stay behind me,” Edward commanded, and Bella was so overwhelmed that she obeyed him. Would they kill her even if Carlisle was ready to change her? Would they kill the Cullens for breaking the statue of secrecy? Would they kill the wolves just for existing? Bella touched her neck, her lungs burning for a split second before a foreign calm eased her anxiety. 

“Thanks,” she muttered to Jasper, reassured by his appearance at her side. But then a new worry occurred to her. “What about my arm?” 

“There’s enough pressure on it for now,” Carlisle told her, his worried eyes glancing over it briefly, “it shouldn’t afflict them.” Bella held onto this diagnosis as they waited for Alice to give an update. 

“Aro is with them,” she said after a few minutes, her voice sharp, and Bella’s chest tightened again despite Jasper’s gift. Bella tried to recall what little Carlisle had told her about the Volturi, frustrated when she realized they hadn’t had time to talk of any practices. Surely royalty didn’t take field trips , she thought. Wouldn’t they have someone else for that? A member of the Guard or something? 

“Why would he come himself?” Emmett asked. Bella was gratified it wasn’t only her wondering, but it did less to reassure her. Just like Riley, the Volturi seemed to be unpredictable, and that was a feat considering Alice’s gift. How hadn’t Alice seen Aro earlier?

“I’m sure we’ll find out,” Carlisle replied, turning to survey the vast stretch of field, prompting everyone to face the same direction. There was no time for a plan, it seemed, and wasn’t that terrifying. Bella desperately wished she had someone to hold her hand as they waited. It was a bizarre want, especially given how adverse she was to depending on anyone, but she was scared. I’m so close- so close- so close- She flinched as a cold hand took hold of her own, looking at Jasper with watering eyes. He mouthed the word breathe , and Bella nodded, forcing herself to do just that. 

“Sam wants to know if the pack should leave,” Edward said. 

“Aro will know of them either way,” Carlisle replied. “I would not want him to think we’re attempting to hide anything.” Bella wasn’t convinced it was a good enough reason for them to stay but kept quiet, Carlisle knew Aro better than anyone, and she was acutely aware that she was in no state of mind to reason anything. 

“Giving Aro access to their thoughts may not be a good idea though,” Edward pointed out, reminding Bella that Aro’s gift was tactile telepathy. Carlisle looked deeply conflicted and it unnerved Bella more. “The Volturi are the rulers of Vampires,” Edward said, and it took Bella a few seconds to realize he was replying to someone’s thoughts. Sam’s, probably. “They’re the largest coven in the world and have exceptionally gifted members of their Guard. If they wanted to kill you, they could.” This received a chorus of snarls from the wolves. Bella’s grip tightened on Jasper’s hand.

“Deep breaths, Bella,” Jasper murmured. 

“Go,” Carlisle ordered, coming to a decision he didn’t deliberate out loud. Bella watched Sam and the pack leave, wishing she could go with them. Jake was the last to go, whining quietly as he brushed against her, only following his Alpha when Bella gently pushed him away. Despite her own, more prominent danger, she wished for their safety, hoping the Volturi saw them as no threat. With the pack gone, Bella felt their defenses lacking immensely, even with the formation the coven had made before her. Jasper let go of her hand to stand beside Alice, but only after he told Bella to breathe deeply again and explained that he couldn’t assist further; his attention was needed elsewhere. Bella understood, she thanked him, feeling weak for having needed him in the first place, and once his stabilizers came off, she counted strictly in her head to keep her breaths regular. It was the least she could do for him, she told herself, knowing Jasper was their best chance in a fight. Edward’s body visibly stiffened, making Bella flinch, and that’s when she saw the dark figures emerging from the trees at the other end of the field. 

They sauntered across the grass and once they were close enough, Bella couldn’t help singling Aro out as he stood amongst the four members of his guard, two of which were scarcely older than children. They stopped about ten feet away and stood completely still. In the silence, Bella forcefully swallowed her fear and held the gaze of the girl, refusing to cower despite her instincts screaming at her to run. She was petite with yellow hair and dark red eyes, a stoic expression held in place. They all wore a dark cloak that draped over them, accentuating a gothic appearance that was a backdrop to the silver crest hung around most of their necks. The other child was a boy, he was slightly taller than the girl and had dark hair that framed the sides of his youthful, but similarly stoic, face. Bella almost shivered as she imagined how easily a human could be taken in by their angelic features only to be murdered. Between them and Aro was an incredibly tall man with short brown hair, his figure towering over the rest of them. Unlike the children whose faces were unreadable, he was surveying them all with inquisitive eyes. 

“Aro,” Carlisle greeted, breaking the ice . Bella was impressed at how welcoming he sounded under the circumstances. 

“Carlisle, my dear friend,” Aro replied, his voice smoother than any Bella had ever heard. This time she did shiver, adrenaline releasing at being in his - their - presence. He sounded unconcerned and unhurried. She supposed she might be too if she was a King amongst lesser, weaker beings. “I am most pleased to see you are unscathed,” Aro said, and it wasn’t lost on Bella that he omitted the word all . “When I heard of your plight, I thought it best to intervene, but alas events proceeded faster than I anticipated.” 

“Thank you for coming,” Carlisle said, “your concern is most welcome, my family and I appreciate it.” Liar , Bella thought. Aro seemed appeased though, and Bella deduced that he was a proud man who appreciated manners. Regal, indeed. 

“I was most bemused on my way here, theorizing what actions could have occurred to end you all in this troubling business,” he broadcasted, looking at the rest of them for the first time. Edward stepped to the side to hide Bella from his gaze as he looked across them, but Bella moved a second later to resume her view. “I could not fathom who would want your demise,” Aro continued and began to walk again, prompting his Guard to move with him, only stopping once they were a few feet away. His eyes flashed to Bella then, freezing her lungs. “But now I see there were more factors to consider.” He smiled as if it pleased him and Bella was furiously captivated. His face appeared softer than she thought possible for a vampire, his skin more translucent than that of any Cullen, as if he hadn't stepped outside in centuries. Despite this, he was much more mesmerizing; beauty, poise, and the promise of danger - all held together by the golden crest around his neck. “Such benevolence, all for you.” Bella’s heart stuttered under his inspection and she was forced to resume breathing, her lungs unable to hold out indefinitely. Yet . This singular thought resuscitated her infamous bravery and she stepped out from behind Edward, irked that this seemed to amuse the Vampire monarch. She was afraid, of course she was, but she knew it wasn't death that rattled her; it was that she was so close to getting what she wanted, what she needed, and he could take it away in seconds. “I wonder what you’ve done to inspire all of this,” Aro said, holding his hand out for her to take. Bella wasn’t sure what to do, her heart beating wildly, hammering sharply in her wrist. “If I may,” he added after seeing her confusion, and reached for her hand. Bella let him raise it, only reacting with another shiver at the temperature of his skin. It was oddly intimate, Bella thought, as he closed his eyes. Half a minute passed in silence, her eyes freely taking in the curves of his face. His eyebrows were black in contrast to his pallid complexion, his eyelashes just as distinctive, matching the color of his hair that stopped a few inches below his shoulders. He looked peaceful like this, Bella couldn’t help but think. If peace and danger could coexist. Aro’s eyes shot open and Bella stared brazenly into them, wondering what color they must have been when he was human. His smile returned, this time with an intensity that Bella couldn’t understand. “How extraordinary,” he whispered. “I see nothing at all. So invigorating is it to meet silence for the first time.” Tactile Telepathy , she reminded herself. Bella had scarcely been more relieved, horrified at the realization he would have heard everything she’d been thinking if his gift had, in fact, worked. “I wonder if you are immune to all our gifts,” he then said, releasing her hand and turning to look at the children. Edward growled. 

“No,” he shouted, startling Bella so much that she flinched - again. 

“Edward,” Carlisle warned quietly. Aro turned his body and his attention to Edward, whatever action his thoughts betrayed was postponed as Edward held out his hand for Aro to take. This time Aro kept his eyes open and Bella took the opportunity to count the different hues on his eyes, before she realized what she was doing and promptly looked away. One glance at Carlisle told her she hadn’t been discreet, inquisitiveness parallel to concern in his gaze; Bella was embarrassed enough to blush. After a few seconds of looking at her feet, she decidedly turned her attention to Aro's crest instead, able to make out more details that she had struggled with on the ring. The large oval ruby was set above the rest between what looked like three feathered half-wings, and between the lines of the V was a coat of arms, quartering two trees and two birds. At the bottom was a much smaller ruby, diamond cut. It was beautiful and distinct. Regal. 

“I see,” Aro said at last, glancing at Bella with an expression she didn’t recognize. “Immortality will look most becoming on you, Isabella.” His smile was back, blending with the look she couldn’t name. He was pleased, or perhaps pleasured? Bella swallowed audibly, the way he said her name affecting her in a way she understood but would never admit. To everyone but Jasper, it looked like a normal reaction to fear. Because she did fear him, she reminded herself. “I see no other beside you in Alice’s vision. Do you truly not intend to stay with Carlisle and his beloved family?” 

“I won’t,” Bella replied, and was elated to find her voice didn’t shake. This pleased him more. 

“If it isn’t family,” Aro murmured, “and it’s not the boy,” a glance at Edward, “then what is it that drives you, Isabella?” Bella was almost certain he said her name again, knowing what it did to her. It took her a moment to recover, again. She wondered what answer he was looking for, an unbecoming desire surfacing in her to please him. It was purely self-preservation, she told herself. What would thrill him? Nothing long-winded, perhaps something ostentatious. It was a gamble but she felt it to be true enough. 

“Destiny.” It paid off. Aro looked delighted by it. 

“And so it shall be,” he declared. Bella visibly relaxed. He wasn’t going to kill her. “Do you know where you will go?” He asked, almost conversationally. “A desire to travel, perhaps?” Bella nodded slowly, the uncertainty on her face. She shrugged under Aro’s amused gaze, so different from the authoritative one painted in Carlisle’s study. 

“I think I’ll wing it,” she admitted. 

“Yes,” Aro breathed, “I’m quite sure you will. How thrilling it will be to see what destiny brings you at last.” Whatever then crossed his mind caused Edward to speak up.

"She'll change her mind," he said, "when she's one of us , she'll feel the bond as I do." It vexed Bella to no end that he still thought so, that he was convinced her future was so predictable, or that it was with him at all after all she'd been through and said. Aro revelled at the look of defiance in her eyes. 

"I am not so certain about that, young Edward," he said. "I believe Isabella is not the same girl you left behind." Bella was slightly mollified by this, pleased that he believed her. “And what should you do, bella , if Edward manages to change dear Carlisle’s mind?” 

"Bella will be changed, I assure you," Carlisle said then, gratifying Bella enough to smile. Aro looked pleased too, though not convinced. He glided over to Carlisle, leaving his Guard behind, and took his hand, prompting Bella to question what it was he saw. How could he discern so much? Tactile telepathy suggested a similar ability to Edward’s, except where Edward was forced to read everyone, Aro could be selective. But that was a gamble, wasn’t it? You could think anything in the moment. Perhaps he read intentions too. Relinquishing his hold on Carlisle, Aro sauntered back to stand between the tall vampire and a woman Bella hadn’t examined, wholly distracted by their King. He would be her King too. 

"Though I do not doubt Carlisle’s affirmation,” Aro said, fixing her in place once more with just his eyes. “I would like to offer you an assurance of my own.” He removed a card from the inside of his blazer pocket, revealing in the movement a fine suit beneath the black cloak. He held it out to her. "Should anything come between you and destiny again, Isabella ," he murmured. "I will personally see to your forever." 

The eight-hour flight to Ithaca was a surreal experience for Bella, sitting by the window with Alice at her side; Edward compelled to take the seat in front. To strangers, she probably looked like she wasn’t with the Cullens at all; too old to be a child, too plain to be a relative. She listened to music throughout the flight, trying to force out the memory of Aro’s voice. Isabella. Bella had thanked him for his assurance and after a customary farewell with Carlisle, the Volturi had left. Carlisle had rushed her away to the faux privacy of his study so that he could restitch her arm. Bella liked to think it was also a sanctuary of sorts, so she could process what had happened uninterrupted. She knew Carlisle had been worried, his eyes troubled, but Bella couldn’t bring herself to ask what was on his mind, overwhelmed enough already. The only thing that kept her sane through the evening and subsequently most of the night was the certainty that she was going to be changed, no matter what. The next morning, Bella was carried by Alice once again, back to where they had hidden Jasper’s Mercedes three days previously. Bella hadn’t had to ask how they were all to travel in one car as there was a familiar black BMW parked beside it. Nobody felt the need to converse much during the drive, and Bella was thankfully only bothered briefly by Alice at the airport; persuaded to buy a Seattle cap from the gift shop as a parting momento. You don’t know how long it’ll be till you’re back , Alice had pointed out. Bella thought of Charlie, of Angela and Jake, and felt physically silenced by grief well onto the plane. 

His card was in her jacket pocket. It amused her somewhat that the Volturi had business cards, but she supposed it was an easy way for someone to contact them; Bella doubted they gave them out to just anyone. It was a standard size and made of glossy cardboard, one side showcasing a postcard-esque photograph of a beautiful three story Italian building, the words Palazzo dei Priori in the lower right corner. On the other side was a web address, email address, and telephone number. It was very… touristy. Did they really let humans wander through their home on a daily basis? That didn’t seem very inconspicuous. Bella wanted to ask, it was one of the many questions she’d come up with since yesterday afternoon, but she anticipated conflict over answers, mostly from Edward. She promised herself she would appeal to Carlisle, certain he would see the benefit in educating her on both the Volturi and the other laws she was to obey once changed. Bella brought herself back to the song playing and tried hard to listen to the lyrics, but it wasn’t compelling enough to hold her attention. Palazzo. Palace? Regal . 

Chapter Text

“Thanks, Ben,” Bella said again, staring out at the woodland view from her bedroom window. Ithaca was beautiful, more so than Forks, though it lacked familiarity. It was a postcard kind of town, Bella surmised. The Cullen House was something to behold too but that hadn’t surprised her at all; Esme was especially talented with architecture. 

“No worries.” Ben was more than happy to allow Bella extra time off, stressing how important it was to heal before returning to work. Bella doubted he would have given some of her co-workers the same treatment but kept that to herself. “Take care, see you soon.” Bella disconnected the call without replying. Ben wasn’t someone she would call a friend but hearing his voice had stirred a brief homesickness in her. She forcefully reminded herself that she was simply grieving the comfort zone she’d created over the past few years, and not the lifestyle itself. As nice as her work friends were, she wouldn’t miss them. Nancy was a different story but Bella wouldn’t think about her, except to hope that Nancy might keep her plant after her death ; Charlie would never remember to water it. 

Bella Swan would die tomorrow. 

Bella felt an array of emotions every time she thought about it. The majority of it was anxiety, despite Alice assuring her everything would work out. Bella knew Charlie better though, knew he would look for more reason behind her death than a simple accident, and even if he did accept it he would still blame the Cullens. There was nothing she could do about it now, she told herself, it was all prepared. She had to die so she could transition into her new life; a life she couldn’t risk any of her loved ones knowing about. Well, except Jake. Jake who she didn’t say goodbye to. Bella doubted he would have seen her even if she’d tried, knowing what it was. Alice had given her a walk through of the battle after they’d landed, seeing Bella was too restless to sleep. It didn’t help much but it did reassure her that nobody on their side was hurt. Physically, at least. Bella wondered if Jake was already grieving her or if his sadness had turned to anger too. 

“Bella,” Edward said after knocking on the door. Bella was oblivious to both the knock and his lurking in the doorway, but she turned immediately once she heard his voice, only to mentally chastise herself for getting lost in her thoughts. It was awfully vexing to see the Cullens look continuously worried about her. 

“Sorry,” she apologized, reinforcing a mask of indifference. 

“You have a lot to think about,” he replied, dismissing her apology. While it would have been a comforting acceptance to hear from nearly anyone else, it elicited an automatic defense in Bella hearing it from him. As if able to read his thoughts for once, Bella crossed her arms, turning her back on the Fall landscape, and preempted what she hoped would be his last attempt. 

“I was thinking about Jake,” she said, enjoying the way his jaw tightened and the way he was forced to look elsewhere. Their last proper conversation had been confusing to say the least, he had sounded almost resigned to her impending transformation; convinced she would feel the mating bond he still claimed existed. A claim that vexed her but she wasn’t worried about; he would understand when confronted with proof. Bella had thought the argument done after Aro had personally promised her immortality; her future was now inevitable, but here he was. 

“You can go back to him,” he replied. Bella’s enjoyment fizzled out instantaneously. What was he doing? It truly baffled her that he would be happier for her to get back together with Jacob than see her become a vampire. How could he possibly believe they were mates when he was doing everything he could to push her away? Did he truly believe being apart was a testament of strength or love? Or was he just torturing himself on purpose? 

We’re both masochists.  

“I won’t,” she said, not hiding how tired she was in general and with the conversation, and because it was Edward, she felt the need to explain before he made any liberties. “Jake and I talked. We both know it’s not what I want.” Bella knew he knew as much. 

“There’ll be others, Bella,” Edward murmured, brows furrowed. “Someone will-” 

“Wow,” Bella interrupted, in a tone one might use when discovering their ex was relentless in audacity. “Do you even care if I’m happy?”

“Of course I do, that’s why I want you to change your mind,” he stressed, closing the distance between them in three strides. Bella held her ground, looking up at him with a pinch between her eyebrows. “Your feelings will change, Bella. How you're feeling right now is temporary, but there’s still time.” 

“And if I go back to New Jersey and date 20 men, and none of them make me happy. Would you change me then? 50? 100? Or would you disregard my feelings, and you are disregarding my feelings, because you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you know me better than I know myself?” 

“Bella-”

“If you say things will change one more time, I will bet Emmett he can’t kick your ass,” Bella threatened. Edward glowered and Bella was almost relieved to see him angry. Anything was better than his comfortable I know best attitude. Bella used to find it reassuring, now it irritated and exhausted her. 

“You’re choosing damnation.” And there it was. Bella almost laughed but she wasn’t amused. It was relief again, she supposed, but only because this was an argument she knew how to win. Religion was a big part of Edward, Bella knew, it shaped his self-views and his lifestyle. She thought she’d understood when they were together, hopeful that finding her after being alone for so long would change his mind; that he would feel being a vampire was worth it because they were together. It was awfully naive of her, she knew, but then he had made her believe they were mates. Soul mates. Destined. She existed to complete him, to make him happy, to love him. Be all and end all. Together forever. But that wasn’t what he wanted even as he stood there, believing he loved her. 

“I don’t believe in your God, Edward,” Bella said, defused. She stepped around him. “I’m not afraid of my choice. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind. The Volturi know about-” 

“Your choice doesn’t just affect you,” Edward ground out as she headed for the door. “You’re asking Carlisle to kill you, knowing full well that he doesn’t want to.” Bella hesitated by the doorway. Knowing full well? Carlisle hadn’t said as much, not once. His word choice had been conflicted, but then she’d convinced him, hadn’t she? Or was that why Aro had given her another option? What did he see? “If you knew him like I do, you wouldn’t ask this of him. He’ll never forgive himself.” Bella didn’t believe Carlisle could be damned at all, but even if it were possible, even if God was real and vampires were inherently evil; Carlisle was… Carlisle. He’d done everything he could to protect and heal humans, battling against his very nature. Was that not repentance? Anxiety and guilt took hold of her as she questioned Carlisle’s faith, unable to ignore Edward, her anger too slow to catch up. She had nothing left to say so she left the homely facade of her bedroom behind, he could have it . Her legs carried her down the hall to Carlisle’s study, but all she could do was stand there, thinking. Edward’s words had done their damage; what she thought was finally the light at the end of the tunnel was now shrouded into darkness, again! Thick with ignorance and selfish desires. Would it return if she could wade through? 

Could she knowingly do that to him? 

Bella wanted to cry in frustration; she was so tired. She wanted to get angry and call Edward various names that would make even Rosalie blush, or break something. Their plan - her plan - was going to unravel in her hands and she felt unexpectedly helpless. Weak. Why was he doing this to her? Did he genuinely believe what he felt for her was love? And even if he did love her, did it give him the right to sacrifice her happiness? No. Bella steeled herself. Thinking about Edward and his past behaviors rekindled her rage, an emotion she found easier to wear. 

She bolted from the corridor, ignoring the sound of Carlisle’s study door opening, his voice calling after her, and kept running long after she escaped the house. Anger. Edward wasn’t going to take this from her. Anger. She was going to be a vampire. Anger. It was her decision. But guilt was in the fight too, matching her pace despite her attempt to outrun it. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t religious, or that she didn’t believe in God or damnation. Carlisle did. And forever was a long time to hurt someone. 

Bella’s run turned into a walk after 20 minutes, and it was only then that she realized she wasn’t alone. After voicing permission for them to join her, Jasper and Emmett appeared at her side and walked with her further through the forest. Bella assumed they’d come to ward off any potential wildlife that might want her for dinner, a factor she hadn’t considered at all as she’d beelined through the woodland, running from herself. It all felt rather foolish once her mood settled. 

“Let’s sit,” Bella said, wanting to rest without admitting she was tired. The last week and a bit had completely wiped her out mentally, physically, and especially emotionally. Bella slid down a tree trunk to rest on the ground and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Jasper and Emmett were in similar positions against trees opposite her. She thought about thanking them for coming but it didn’t feel important enough, she doubted it would be sincere, ergo it was pointless to say. Neither vampire seemed pressed to have a discussion so they sat in silence, listening to the birds in the trees above their heads while Bella thought. 

She processed and reprocessed; her conscience so torn she thought she might throw up. Over and over, she reminded herself that it was her decision, it was what she wanted, she was so close - and she was absolutely not going to change her mind about becoming a vampire. Carlisle had agreed, after all. He had told Aro as much; declared it to the Volturi Guard. She didn’t doubt he would go through with it.

But - but - Bella was not so far gone in her desires and anger to disregard Carlisle’s beliefs entirely. He hadn’t voiced the feelings himself but Edward had access to his thoughts and as stubborn as he was, Bella doubted he would lie about something so easily rebutted. Would he really change her against his judgement? Bella felt disconcerted but it wasn’t a deal breaker. It was her decision. 

“Does he really think he’ll be damned if he changes me?” Bella asked, her head rested back, the ridges of bark briefly denting the skin beneath her hair. She was uncomfortable but too tired to care.

“He said he will, so he will,” Emmett replied, undoubtedly trying to reassure her that her change would come to fruition either way. But it wasn’t what Bella wanted to hear. 

“Carlisle was born durin’ the 1640s,'' Jasper stated after another minute of silence. Bella wondered what her emotions felt like for him. Was he able to shut himself off from them? Could he snuff out the ones she didn’t want? Coward , she called herself. “He was the son of an Angelican pastor, raised durin’ a time when religion and politics were rapidly changin’. His Father led hunts for supernatural creatures; werewolves, vampires, witches. Humans still heavily believed in our existence back then, and killin’ us was God’s work; riddin’ the world of evil and sin.” Bella listened, and frowned as she imagined Carlisle tying women to stakes and setting them on fire. He couldn’t, she told herself. 

“But, Carlisle is good,” Bella said. Jasper and Emmett smiled wistfully. 

“Carlisle is the most compassionate man I have ever met,” Jasper replied. “A quality I believe he brought with him from his human life. He took over from his Father as soon as he could, reduced the number of innocents bein’ killed. He was smarter too; found a real coven of vampires.” Bella sat forward. 

“Is that how he was changed?” 

“He led a hunt and was attacked,” Jasper confirmed. “He hid, I believe, durin’ his transformation. When it ended and he realized what he was…” You’re going to be my enemy. The hairs on Bella’s arms raised. She rested her head back again. 

“So Edward was right?” 

“No,” Jasper said, surprising her. “At least, I don’t think he was bein’ entirely candid. Carlisle is over 300 years old, Bella. He’s well educated in Religion as he is in many things. You’ve seen his studies. He’s always readin’, always learnin’, always contemplatin’. It’s his compassion for other people that drives him.” Bella chewed on her inner cheek in confusion, prompting Jasper to continue. “He doesn’t abstain from drinkin’ human blood because of God, he does it because he values life. It was probably Religion that guided him in the beginnin’, I don’t doubt that he considered killin’ to be immoral. It still don’t sit right with him, he couldn’t do it himself, but he ain’t the kind to look down on others for makin’ different choices. And I know that he loves you, Bella. He wants you to be happy.” 

“Not a choice he’d have made for you,” Emmett chimed in, “but then I think we’ve all been reminded lately that it isn’t our choice to make. Well, except Edward.” 

“No, I think he’s well aware,” Jasper smirked. “He’s just stubborn as hell.” Bella rolled her eyes. If she’d had the energy, she would have let herself get angry at him and his self-importance, lording his opinion over hers and everyone else’s. There was still tomorrow, she promised herself, or even later after she’d gotten some rest. She was certainly going to seethe over his lying by omission, manipulating facts to suit his argument. 

He hadn’t lied though, she reminded herself. Carlisle valued human life, had taken his unwanted vampire existence and done good with it, against all odds. To become a vampire was to die, to change her was to kill; something Jasper had said Carlisle couldn’t do. He would change her - because she asked, because it was her decision, maybe even because he loved her. But he didn’t want to - because she wasn’t dying, because he wasn’t saving her, because he wasn’t a killer. Bella sighed loudly. What was she going to do?

“You want my jacket?” Emmett asked, pulling Bella from her numbing reverie. The temperature was dropping steadily and Bella’s skin was pimpled with cold. She accepted the jacket, wrapping it around herself and hugging her legs to her chest. Her thoughts continued to loop until her limbs felt numb and her mind fragile. What was she going to do? “Wanna head back?” 

“No,” Bella murmured, and rested her head on her knees. 

“Want me to kick Edward’s ass?” He asked, sounding hopeful. Bella chuckled to herself but decidedly didn’t answer. For the first time in weeks, she felt her mind empty. They settled back into silence for half an hour, Bella fighting her body’s demand for sleep. When it eventually called for her, she found herself nodding off, and was forced to accept that she had to return to the house. Emmett carried her home, his torso wide enough to shield her from the wind as he ran. As soon as Bella got back to her room, she slammed the door, crawled under the duvet onto her stomach and within minutes, was out cold. 

The smell of food brought her round the next morning, followed by a patient knock on her bedroom door. Bella groaned, rewarded with a musical laugh from Alice who had entered and was placing a tray down on the bed. 

“Good morning,” she said, her jovial attitude rubbing against Bella’s nerves. What time was it? “Esme made you some breakfast. You have a few hours till you need to call Charlie. I thought we should talk.” Charlie. Bella sat up, her hair strewn across her face which she combed back as her head caught up. How long had she slept? Too long, she deduced. Her stomach was pained with hunger, her bladder full. Her neck was sore too. Alice read the confusion on her face. 

“Jazz and Emmett brought you home yesterday,” she explained. “You’ve been so tired, Carlisle thought it was best to let you rest.” Bella almost grumbled, but kept it contained when she remembered what had finally exhausted her. What was she going to do? Bella rubbed the sleep from her eyes and decidedly put her thoughts off. Charlie and Renee, and everyone else she loved, was going to lose her today. The rest could wait. “I’ll leave you to get ready,” Alice announced, “don’t forget to eat.” 

Chapter Text

After a breakfast fit for a five-star hotel and a shower hotter than hell, Bella was feeling, dare she think it, a little more human. The water had eased the ache in her neck and shifted a lot of tension she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying. It was testament to how much she’d needed it that when she found Alice out back, sitting at a delicately carved picnic bench with a teapot and mug, Bella managed to return her smile. 

“You look lovely, Bella,” Alice said as Bella sat down, earning a look of scepticism from the fresh-faced brunette. Bella severely doubted that anyone who regularly looked at inhumanly beautiful faces of vampires, like Alice did, could see anything in her features that was remotely worth commenting on. It wasn’t that she was self-conscious, Bella knew various human men - and a certain shifter - found her attractive, but beside Alice, she felt like an LED next to a supernova. “I know you’re worried so I’ve been watching as closely as I can,” Alice continued, pouring tea into the mug. “Charlie will believe you stayed longer due to sickness, and he won’t question your decision to drive too much.” Bella took the mug held out to her and wrapped her hands around it, wishing it could smother the feeling getting louder in her gut. 

“What time should I…?” Bella asked, unable to finish her own sentence. She had planned what she would say with Alice, scripting the beginning of her end with a detachment she was no longer privy to. It was real now, she had to lie to her Dad and let it be the last thing he ever heard her say. She had to let him believe that she was on the road in a few hours, that it was her charred remains inside the burning vehicle, separating them forever. Bella teared up, a weight resting on her chest that only felt heavier the more she thought. “He’ll get remarried,” she told Alice, breathing in slowly, her nose stinging as she caged the uneasiness clawing up her throat. She wouldn’t cry yet because she knew, once she started, it would feel impossible to stop. “Hopefully Sue can convince him to change those awful cupboards in the kitchen.” 

“He’ll be okay,” Alice agreed, her smile sympathetic. Bella nodded, holding her breath until the urge to cry subsided. 

“Yeah,” she agreed and exhaled. Alice gave her another minute to recover before she smiled and reached across to take one of Bella’s hands. “I know you have a lot on your mind already, but I wanted to ask you about what happened yesterday.” 

“You could just ask Jasper,” Bella pointed out. 

“I could have, but it isn’t Jasper’s decision to make,” Alice countered. Bella conceded and took a deep breath, creating a mist of condensation in the air between them. Alice waited patiently for Bella to find the words to say, uncomfortably aware that their privacy was pretend. 

“I guess I, rather selfishly, assumed that Carlisle agreeing to change me meant he was doing so without compromise.” Bella shook her head, frustrated with herself. 

“He hasn’t changed his mind, Bella,” Alice reminded her. 

“I know.”

“But,” Alice prompted. Bella pulled her hand away and placed the mug down, unnerved at having to speak her thoughts before she had time to think them through. If she were with Jake, she would have tried, comfortable enough to change her mind without consequence, the two of them brainstorming over pizza and tools in his shed. But Edward was nearby and Bella felt his presence like a current on her skin, ready to weaponize her unformed intelligence. “Would you like to go for a walk?” Bella nodded. 

Bella wasn’t comfortable with how easily read she was, but it was quickly abated by the relief she felt once Alice told her they were far enough away from the house to be unheard. They found a stream to walk along, arms linked, pace steady. Alice looked around as if she had nothing in the world to worry about, or - Bella supposed - as if she knew when to worry about what. It was both reassuring and frustrating. Bella resented the fact that she had to trust Alice with this, but she also didn’t want to process it on her own anymore. 

“I don’t want to hurt him,” she said, watching the ground as she walked. “I can’t imagine any vampire less deserving of damnation, my future self included. I don’t want to enter my next life feeling as though I owe Carlisle something I can’t ever repay.” 

“He won’t ask you for anything,” Alice told her. 

“That just makes me feel worse,” Bella sighed, forcing the two of them to stop so she could close her eyes and gather her bearings. “I- I’m still angry. I still feel this inexplicable devastation whenever I remember how it felt waking up the day after you left. I’ve never hurt like it. I thought I could die from grief alone, like I was forced to mourn myself in a body that felt like it was decaying. I don’t think I looked at myself, and I mean really looked, until Jake. I carried that grief with me for so long, even on the days he taught me how to smile again, and maybe it ate away at some pure part of me. The part that Edward is so convinced I still have, that he thinks needs protecting. Even now, I want to hate you. I want to avenge the girl that I lost, the hopeful romantic that had nothing but love for all of you. That loved herself.” Alice threaded her fingers through Bella’s, silently distressed by her honesty. “I want to be selfish, I want to tell myself that I deserve this, that what I want is more important than Carlisle’s guilt. I want to tell myself that it’s worth it, that he’ll think so too when he sees how happy it’s going to make me. Because with love comes sacrifice, right? And I know he loves me.” Bella inhaled loudly as tears spilled down her cheeks, and was forced to clear her throat. 

“It’s okay to love him too, Bella,” Alice said, watching Bella swipe at her tears with her free hand. “You do have another option.” Bella felt her words like a permission and it surprised her that she’d wanted it. The tightness in her chest eased enough for her to breathe properly. 

“Would it… work out? Would he really change me if I went to Italy?” 

“I don’t think Aro is the kind of man who makes empty promises,” Alice hummed. “But if you make the decision, I’ll be able to tell you for definite.” Bella nodded her understanding, and the two of them continued to walk again, granting Bella a few minutes to recover from her accidental display of emotion. Elegant, regal, Aro with his promise to make her immortal. Bella wasn’t so naive to ignore his attention, Carlisle had already told her that the Volturi Guard was made up of gifted and talented vampires. He was excited, no doubt intrigued, by his inability to use his own gift on her, whatever it was. But was that incentive enough for him to personally change her and what would he want in return? Would Carlilse’s guilt be the lesser evil to live with? Bella took a deep breath and told herself it wouldn’t. As soon as she did, Alice stopped abruptly by her side, effectively rooting Bella to the spot. Adrenaline ran down Bella’s spine as she watched Alice’s vacant eyes, both making her shudder with anticipation. Less than 30 seconds passed in silence but it was enough to make Bella nervous, and she almost groaned in relief when she saw a grin stretch across Alice’s teeth when her eyes snapped back into focus. 

“What did you see?” Bella asked. 

“Aro will make good on his word, Bella,” Alice smiled. “And we absolutely need a shopping vacation in Italy.” 

“Bella? Is everything alright?” 

Bella smiled, though his familiar concern pulled tightly at her heart. Fortunately for her, and for the sake of their plan, Jasper was more than adept at putting distance between her and her heartache. She had originally thought to do it alone, but after her emotional evening-come-morning, Bella wasn’t feeling particularly confident and Alice’s vision changed. 

“Yeah,” she lied, and so began her script. She circled the dining room table with Alice and Jasper standing in the corner of the room, wearing identical expressions of sympathy as they watched. After she’d returned to the house with Alice, they’d gone through the conversation several times, with and without Jasper’s assistance to test how believable she’d sound, but nothing could have prepared her for hearing Charlie’s voice believing her. 

“It’s a long drive, Bells, are you sure you’ll be alright?” Charlie asked, after Bella had assured him Carlisle would collect his car in a few weeks time on the way back from a vacation with Esme. “I can send you the money for a plane ticket.” 

“I don’t want to owe you money, Dad,” Bella replied. “I’ll be fine. I’ve got stuff for the road and my iPod’s charged. I’ll stop for food along the way, if I need to.” 

“Okay,” he begrudgingly agreed. “Well let me know when you get home. I’ll be working late but call anyway, alright?” 

“I will,” she said, and her voice wavered when she let the paper she was reading from slide across the table, knowing their final conversation was coming to an end. Fortunately, Charlie was at the station so the background noise covered her break. 

“I gotta go, kid,” Charlie sighed. “Paperwork coming out my ears.”

“It’s okay,” Bella assured, “I’ll… talk to you later.” 

“Yeah,” Charlie grunted. “Love you, drive safe.” 

“Love you too,” she choked and hung up after he said bye. “Don’t,” she begged Jasper, feeling his gift lessen almost immediately. “Please, don’t.” 

“I’m sorry, Bella,” Jasper murmured, watching as Alice moved across the room to Bella’s side, pulling her into a hug. Bella felt as though the floor had been removed beneath her feet as she clung onto Alice, an indescribable sadness unlike any other suffocating her as sobs shook her body, her knees buckling. Her heart begged her to change her mind, to drive to New Jersey like she’d said, to call him when she got there just to hear his voice again. Her heart begged her to call her Mom, or even Phil, just so she could say she loved them. But Bella feared it would be too out of the ordinary, and Alice had said Renee would ask questions. Bella knew she had to minimize as much repercussion on the Cullens as she could, lest Charlie find anything about her death suspicious. It didn’t appease the heart wrenching pain coursing through her, though, and in the moment, she couldn’t convince herself it ever would. 

Alice combed her hands through Bella’s hair late into the evening, the two of them lying across the bed in Bella’s room. Hours had passed in unrelenting agony, Bella crying herself into hysterics before deflating, only for it to happen again ten or twenty minutes later. Alice whispered assurances every so often, knowing when Bella needed it most. The house was deadly silent, the rest of the family having left shortly after Bella’s phone call. She’d asked for the specific details, demanding them despite Alice telling her it wouldn't help. Alice had been right, of course. Bella was unable to stop herself questioning what part of the plan the Cullens were implementing, wondering who the person - cadaver - from the funeral home was, hating herself for making her own parents bury a stranger. She imagined the phone call Charlie would get, saw the disbelief on his face, and heard the denial in his voice as he refused to believe she was dead. She could still stop it, her guilt told her, sounding uncomfortably like Edward. The thought looped, desperate to be heard over the sound of her rushing blood. There’s still time, Bella.  

She sucked in a breath as she heard Alice’s phone ping, air caught in her lungs. “It’s done,” Alice said quietly, pulling Bella closer. “It’s done.” Bella twisted her face into the pillow and wailed. 

Chapter Text

The line moved forward another space, silently guiding a particularly anxious Bella with it, fanning herself with her newly acquired passport. The airport wasn’t warm per se, it certainly didn’t warrant the dark Burberry trench coat Bella was wearing, but she needed something to do as she waited to board the plane. Alice had reassured her for the Nth time that she would make it to Volterra with no problems as they had said farewell in the departures hall, the entire family having come to see her off, but she’d still felt panicked as she’d passed through security, expecting someone to stop her. Her passport looked as genuine as her old one had, though the photograph was more recently taken, and if it hadn’t been hers ; she wouldn’t have questioned it’s credibility. But her name was wrong, aggressively reminding her that the document was illegal. Bella, who had never so much as gotten a speeding ticket, felt sweat trailing down from the back of her neck. At any moment, she anticipated someone to pull her aside and say ‘you’re not Emily Linton’, a pseudonym Alice had created, amalgamating Emily Bronté with the surname of Wuthering Heights’ Catherine Linton. The name was a gift in itself, Bella knew, but she wished Alice had gone with something blander like Kate Smith, not that Bella felt she suited the name Kate either. 

Despite Alice’s prediction proving true, so far, Bella couldn’t shift the tension solidifying her limbs. An alias was a mandatory utensil in her chosen life, she would need it to travel and live amongst humans when she could, and she knew the Cullens must have had various fake passports during their time moving from town to town, needing new identities for work and school. It made sense, but Bella doubted she would ever be able to use hers comfortably. Perhaps one day she would find a name that fit better, maybe she could be a Renee , or keep it simple and only change her last name as time went on. 

You can always be a Cullen , Alice had told her. Bella supposed there might be a time when she did adopt the familiar surname, but while she was still human, she refused to entertain the idea. It felt far too reminiscent of a life she could have lived with Edward, the name of the doe-eyed girl who’d died in her junior year. Edward was still, no doubt, going to get documents created, she figured; anticipating the mating bond to bring her home. Bella felt queasy at the thought. Edward had been disturbingly cordial over the past week once Bella’s death was carried out, she figured it was the point of no return that had brought him to his senses; given he was no longer able to deliver her back to her old life. It was worse, she’d come to realize, being in his presence whilst he believed she would inevitably return his affection. Combating his arrogance was easier than sitting quietly in his home, pretending he wasn’t looking at her longingly. The fact that he still appeared 17 made it stranger, Bella felt as though she was on the receiving end of teenage crush. Sometimes he got a pained look on his face and would reassure the room that Bella’s return was inevitable. Bella could scarcely tolerate him after he exploited Carlisle’s worries, trying to guilt her into changing her mind. It was fortunate for him that he hadn’t opposed Bella’s decision to go to Volterra instead, for Bella’s mood swings had been rather volatile during the first few days of her being legally dead. 

Alice had been the one to make the announcement on Sunday, instigating a long and emotional conversation between Bella and Carlisle the following day. Carlisle accepted Bella’s decision without question, but wanted to reassure her that he would have granted her wish no matter any of their feelings on the matter. It was with many tears that Bella explained herself, regurgitating most of the conversation she’d had with Alice two days before. Hearing him say he loved her broke a part of the wall she’d constructed around her heart, instigating a flight response that had her returning quickly to her room. She’d told herself that her rekindling admiration for him was circumstantial, that she was vulnerable after losing Charlie and Renee, and it was only natural she would yearn to fill their absence with someone else. But as the week continued and he warmly assisted with her travel plans, Bella conceded the truth that she didn’t want to avoid him in her future life; she knew she loved him, just as she loved Alice, though it wasn’t something Bella could admit out loud for she was afraid she was betraying her past self; condoning what they’d done by allowing them back into her heart. 

Another passenger cleared the gate and Bella clenched her teeth as she once again moved forward, pulled out of her reverie. She would soon be at the front, forced under further scrutiny as her identity and tickets were checked again, and not even for the last time. The closest airport to Volterra was Pisa International, and she still had to change in Amsterdam, giving her four extra hours in between her ten hour journey to worry about getting caught. A car would be waiting for her in Pisa, ready to transport her the remaining 67 miles. Bella felt sick with nerves thinking about the hour-long drive, wondering who would be collecting her. A small part of her hoped it would be Aro, but she quickly talked that splinter down, shutting it away. Aro was a King -her future King - and she doubted he had the time to entertain her. The phone call she’d made to Volterra had been rather underwhelming after days of building up the nerve; she’d only been able to speak with a receptionist called Valentina and was forced to leave a message for Aro, passing along details of her flight. An hour later, she’d received a one-sentence email from Valentina informing her of the car that would meet her. It was enough, Bella supposed. What else was there to say?

The woman that checked her passport and ticket was scarcely older than her, Bella noticed, watching intently with baited breath. It took less than a minute for her ticket to be torn and returned, only a glance spared for her passport. Bella felt a mixture of nausea and relief as she walked down the chute to the plane. She stuffed the passport into her shoulder bag as she walked but kept the ticket stub handy to show the cabin crew member waiting to direct her to her seat. Carlisle had bought her a window seat in Economy situated at the back of the plane, much to Alice’s horror. Bella believed she would blend in better, making her journey less conspicuous, ergo safer, and she hadn’t wanted to owe Carlisle a lot of money. Alice had been forced to accept her seating arrangement but not before reminding Bella the ticket was a gift, and detailing just how much nicer her journey would have been in First Class. As Bella settled by the window, removing her coat and draping it across her knee, she found she was pleased by her choice; her presence unobtrusive. While the remaining passengers boarded, Bella retrieved the iPhone 4 Alice had given her the night before from her pocket. It was another gift, one Bella had begrudgingly accepted due to necessity alone. The only numbers in it belonged to the Cullens which made Bella feel uncomfortably alone and she was tempted to add Angela’s just because it was another one she remembered, but she didn’t. This phone belonged to Emily Linton, she told herself, and Emily Linton didn’t know Angela Webber. 

Bella: In my seat. I’ll text you when I get to Amsterdam x 

Alice: I put granola bars in your bag. Try to get some sleep XXX

Bella smiled, shooting off a thank you in reply before she turned her cell off. She put one of her earbuds in and pressed play on her iPod, her only carry-on item, courtesy of Charlie not noticing it missing, and pulled the window shutter down. She tried her best to relax but couldn’t, so instead she watched the minutes passing by on her watch. It was ten past seven and the sun was nearly set, the temperature inside the plane undesirably cold. Bella tucked her coat underneath her legs, hoping it would be sufficient insulation. The plane would arrive in Amsterdam at 08:40 which gave Bella seven and a half hours to get some sleep. She didn’t want to, hating how vulnerable it made her sleeping so close to strangers, but it was preferable to turning up in Pisa completely exhausted. When the last passenger found their seat, Bella took a deep breath, put on her belt and rested her head back. She wasn’t sure how she felt beneath the anxiety, unable to decipher if her adrenaline stemmed from fear or excitement. 

The flight was quiet, giving Bella ample opportunity to get some much needed rest, but she couldn’t switch off. Every time she closed her eyes, her memories took her back to Aro, standing before her on the remains of the battlefield. In her mind, he wore only his dark fitted suit, the gold crest resting in the centre of his chest, polished and refracting splinters of colourful light. His smile was ominous, as if he were about to devour her whole, and Bella felt an overwhelming urge to flee. She wondered if this was her self-preservation trying to warn her, asking her to return to Carlisle, a man she trusted. Or maybe it was her fear playing games for no other reason than to frighten her. If it were the prior, she reminded herself that her decision was for Carlisle’s sake, and that it made next to no sense for her to go back. And if it were the latter, she declared herself cowardly, refusing to give into something so banal when everything she’d ever wanted was merely hours away. In the end, she managed to sleep for four hours, dreaming of rose petals, golden crests, and ruby eyes. The jerk of the plane landing woke her, an undesirable shock to her system. The woman sitting beside her smirked, baiting a dirty look out of Bella who felt like her skin was strained across her shoulders and down her neck. 

The airport was more or less what Bella expected. She texted Alice as soon as she found somewhere to sit, taking the corner of a curved bench beneath a large square clock. Alice called her, demanding details of the journey so far. Bella wasn’t very forthcoming with her small talk but was forced to reassure Alice it had been fine when a flight upgrade to Pisa was suggested. 

“It’s only two hours,” Bella stated, as if this was reason enough to leave her in Economy. 

“Fine,” Alice relented, no doubt having foreseen Bella’s metaphorical heels dig in. “But only because we’ll be flying First Class and First Class only when we travel together in future, Bella. You’ll appreciate it then.” Bella smiled to herself. 

“Fine,” she agreed. 

“Good,” Alice replied, clearly happy with Bella’s acceptance. 

“I should probably go, this international call is probably costing a fortune.” 

“You worry too much,” Alice chastised. “I don’t think a phone call will bankrupt Carlisle. But I’ll let you go, you should probably drink some coffee and eat something. We don’t want you to bite Aro’s head off on arrival.” 

“You’re hilarious,” Bella muttered dryly, she didn’t feel the need to remind Alice that she had no Euros to buy anything with. “I’ll let you know when I get there.” 

“I know,” Alice sang. 

“Bye Bella,” Emmett called in the background, making her snort. 

“Bye,” she replied and hung up. She was about to put her phone away when a text came through from Esme telling her to check inside the zipped compartment on the front of her backpack. Bella frowned in anticipation, doing as she was asked. The black leather backpack was on loan from Alice; Bella had reassured her that she would get it back, suspicious of the Saint Laurent label and how it impacted the sale value of the bag. Inside the pocket was her phone charger, which Bella had put in herself, a thin rectangular box, and an envelope. Apprehensive about the envelope, Bella decided to inspect the box first, and was not disappointed when she opened it to reveal a set of three black pens. The gift card inside stated they were Tungsten Carbide Mechanical Pens, and though Bella didn’t know what tungsten carbide was; she deduced it was some sort of vampire-friendly sturdy metal that would enable her to practice writing once she was too strong to handle a Biro. Putting the box back, Bella took a breath and then visibly cringed as she took out the envelope and opened it. There looked to be about five grand in €200 notes inside. Her phone pinged again, alerting her to another text. 

Esme: Don’t think anything of it. Enjoy Italy, Bella. I look forward to hearing all about it when we meet again. 

Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek for a good twenty minutes, stewing to a simmer over the clear disregard of her feelings on money before she reluctantly accepted that she’d no doubt need it in the future. She replied to Esme, both thanking her and expressing her inability to repay her. 

Esme: You’re most welcome. All I ask for in return is a hand-written letter. 

Bella sought out and found a currency exchange booth, swapping the notes for smaller bills, and settled into the corner of a cafe with a cappuccino and a warm pastry. She watched people go about their business, thinking about her pens and what she would possibly have to report in her future letter. Time passed slowly, seeing her through three more cups of coffee and a sub. When she boarded the plane at quarter to one, she felt as though she were shaking from caffeine alone, only worsened by her nerves. Fear was still prevalent in her gut but as the plane took off, it was smothered out by adrenaline and excitement. 

Galilei International was, by far, the nicest airport Bella had ever been in. The interior was minimalistic and modern, with lots of glass walls and sleek furnishings. The sun was shining in through the tall windows, bathing Bella in a comfortable 70 degrees as she made her way through customs. She’d used the bathroom on the plane just before they’d landed, brushing her hair, teeth, and checking her chin for any traitorous hairs. Once she’d cleared her own checks, she’d swapped her sweater for a green blouse that tied in a knot on her waist, and sprayed everywhere to freshen herself up, going as far as to change her socks before she returned to her seat. It was normal to be so self-conscious, she told herself, given she’d been travelling for 14 hours, and was heading to a castle full of vampires, all of which having enhanced senses of smell. But as she thought about it now, crossing the departure hall, heading towards a young woman with dark hair and tan skin; Bella felt foolish. The only scent they’d, no doubt, take notice of was the smell of her blood. 

Bella stopped warily before the European woman who was holding a placard with her name on it. The stranger slowly took off her sunglasses and looked Bella up and down in a way that bristled her but Bella contained the huff behind her teeth. 

“Isabella?” She asked, pronouncing it the way Aro had but without the civility. 

“Yeah,” Bella nodded, as if it should have been obvious. 

“I’m Valentina, we spoke on the phone,” Valentina replied, voice reflecting how clearly bored she was on collection duty. Bella looked a little taken aback, pleasantly surprised to discover Valentina was human, but then she registered the tone used and her smile tightened. She was also disappointed that Aro hadn’t come, still hopefully expecting him - especially after Alice’s teasing in Amsterdam, but she quickly buried it down and chastised herself for being so naive. It would have been ludicrous for him to meet her, what with the sunshine and him being entirely too important to play tour guide. “Come along,” Valentina ordered, and turned on her stilettos to strut away, leaving Bella to follow silently behind her. Her self-conscious thoughts returned as she walked, unable to help comparing herself to Valentina who, despite also being human, looked like a model. Bella’s mood soured further when Valentina sneered at her once they reached the car waiting for them out front. “Put your case in the boot,” she instructed with an air of superiority, and folded her arms as she waited for Bella to do so. Bella popped the trunk and, thanks to her athletically toned arms, placed her belongings inside with ease. Valentina scarcely waited for Bella to step back before she closed the trunk, slamming it far too close to Bella’s hands for comfort. 

“What’s your problem?” Bella snapped, unable to stop herself. Sure, she hadn’t expected a warm reception, but she’d at least thought it would be cordial. Aro had invited her after all, hadn’t he? Valentina looked surprised for a split second before she glowered. 

“No problem,” she replied, but her face and tone said otherwise. “You can get in on that side,” she added, pointing a perfectly manicured nail to the other side of the car. Bella wanted to call her out on her attitude, incensed that anyone would treat her so rudely, but she relented. For all she knew, Valentina might have been someone seen as superior, accustomed to having others simply obey her. The prospect of having to be submissive irked Bella greatly, but she wasn’t stupid enough to endanger her transformation just because she couldn’t suck up a few glares. Climbing into the black town car, Bella ground her teeth, promising herself that she would behave. 

The drive passed in complete silence; Valentina preoccupied with her cell for the most part which suited Bella just fine. Bella had forgotten how much she loved the warm feeling of the sun on her face, she felt as though her body was recharging as she watched the stunning scenery pass them by. It wasn’t long before they’d left the city, driving through small villages and country fields. When the landscape offered little distraction from her building anticipation, Bella looked inside the car instead. Her gaze found the back of their driver’s head more than once, curious about who he was and if he, like Valentina, worked at the Palazzo. When Valentina noticed the direction of her attention, however, she pressed a button on her door to raise a screen, denying Bella the ability to see him or out the front of the car. Bella, in response, shot her a withering look, but Valentina merely raised her eyebrows as if daring Bella to say something. It was with great difficulty that she turned away, chewing on the inside of her cheek. 

Bella spent the next 30 minutes thinking of things she would have said but all was forgotten when Volterra came into view; hidden away in the hills as though it were a secret. The closer they got, the more enamoured she became with the yellow brick buildings and the twisting roads. The car climbed up through the city, slowing down as locals and tourists crossed the streets they were driving up. When the car turned in under an archway, Bella’s heart began to race. She’d been so swept up in their surroundings that she’d briefly forgotten how close they were to their destination. The town car continued steadily through more arches until they turned into an alcove and slowed down. A minute later they pulled over outside a set of stairs leading up to a large wooden door, the stone work beautifully decorated with curved patterns around the doorway. 

Valentina climbed out without speaking, leaving Bella to grip her hands in silence as she waited for further instruction. When her car door opened, Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out, quietly thanking the driver who she now saw was an elderly gentleman, dressed in a tuxedo and gloves. He watched her as she retrieved her suitcase and Bella thanked him again when he gestured to the entrance, assuming she was to make her way in alone; Valentina having already disappeared. She took a few steadying breaths as she climbed the stairs, bracing herself for the unknown. Fear gripped her shoulders and nipped at her lungs but she pushed on, only stopping once as the door opened. It felt as though she had stepped through time as she entered the building, her breath stolen as she looked up at the high ceiling of the foyer, paintings displayed on every wall she could see. The polished porcelain flooring reflected the soft light from the chandelier. Bella moved to the center of the room, pulling her suitcase along, and looked for any indication of where she was to go. There were two doors to choose from, one directly opposite her or one to her left, both made of nondescript dark wood and closed. She listened out for any movement but was dismayed when she only heard the sound of her own breathing. Considering herself already tested, Bella chose the door in front of her and opened it, flinching at the sudden appearance of Valentina staring down at her. 

“You took your time,” she quipped, turned and stalked away down the corridor. Bella gripped the strap of her bag and begged her heart to slow down as she began to follow. When Valentina disappeared at the end of the corridor, Bella was forced to jog to catch up, following her around the corner and into an elevator. “The Masters are in court, you’ll be seen when they’re ready and not a moment before; you’re to stay in your rooms till someone comes for you.” Bella was conflicted by the way her tone morphed into something more professional, losing it’s bite. “What?” Valentina asked as the elevator descended, noticing Bella’s mistrust. Instead of questioning the woman’s antics, she replied with a more pressing concern. 

“I didn’t expect to be detained,” she said. Valentina sneered, her civility short lived. 

“We wouldn’t want you to get lost, would we?” Bella thought Valentina wanted that very much but decidedly kept the comment to herself. When the doors opened, they exited together, walking down another corridor, this one darker than the first. The walls were shorter, painted a dark red, and lined with golden ceramic lights. Valentina’s heels clapped against the concrete floor as they walked, the only other sound beside the rolling wheels of Bella’s suitcase. The corridor brought them to another elevator and they waited for it to arrive in silence, the both of them staring ahead, Bella with a look of trepidation, Valentina’s of irritation. When the doors opened revealing the same yellow haired child from the battlefield, still clad in a black cloak, Valentina startled. Bella glanced at her guide as she panicked, bowing awkwardly. The child’s expression was as stoic as ever and she merely stared at the Italian woman. 

“The Masters grow tired of waiting for you,” the child said, her voice perfectly clear. Valentina opened her mouth, closed it again, and then made a noise in the back of her throat that made Bella feel embarrassed on her behalf. 

“I didn’t know,” she choked out. “Felix told me to-” 

“Miss Swan will come with me,” the girl interrupted, unaffected. “Take her things to Heidi.” Bella awkwardly handed over her backpack when Valentina reached for it, avoiding Bella’s eye contact, and when the child looked at her, Bella stepped into the elevator. She turned so that she was facing the same direction and watched as her things were hastily carried away, feeling vulnerable without anything to hold. 

Bella had found it tense travelling with Valentina in silence, but her presence was almost desirable in comparison as Bella followed the vampire child. Without anything to hold, she ended up gripping her hands into fists, her pulse thrumming in her wrist. She expected something to spook her at any given second and she hated it. The fear wasn’t irrational but it was futile and Bella wished she had Jasper nearby so he could quell it into something more convenient. The elevator opened, revealing a scarcely furnished hall with a low ceiling, the lighting even darker than the corridor. Bella’s eyes adjusted slowly as they walked, the only decor she noticed was a computer desk sporting a monitor, lamp, and telephone, with a desk chair tucked in. 

One last corner brought the two of them before an ostentatiously designed double door, the crevices of the wooden panels painted gold, contrasting against walnut. The child stopped and waited, giving Bella one last moment to ready herself before the doors were opened from the other side. Bella blinked into the brightly lit hall, surprised by the contrast. She followed the child inside, unnerved now she was in the presence of six more vampires, three of which sat dead center upon their thrones, raised up on a dais. Bella’s gaze drifted from the floor to the columns and then the alcoves as she walked, aware that everyone present was watching her. As they approached the center platform, Bella stopped, the child continued on to stand beside the familiar dark-haired boy as she carefully lowered her eyes to Aro. He looked every bit the monarch from Carlisle’s painting as he looked down on her, his acute features contrasting with the dark of his hair and suit. They regarded one another, crimson fixated on chocolate, Bella’s heart hammering in her chest. The bang of the doors closing broke Bella’s concentration, her head turned automatically to look back. It was only then that she really felt trapped. It wasn’t that she regretted her decision to come, she truly felt Aro was a better candidate to change her, but arriving alone - defenseless - was feeling increasingly undesirable by the second. After a few noticeably long seconds, she forced herself to calm down, breathing out slowly. Fear was futile, she told herself. What was she afraid of? Death? Bella severely doubted Aro would kill her now, though she couldn’t understand why she felt so certain. She turned back to him, noticing the hand he’d held up, as if to call for silence. He smiled.

“ Isabella , tesoro, so good it is to see you again,” he said at last, and stood, rising from his high back throne with ease, the chair carved from wood, and honored in black and gold. “And so soon”, he added as he jumped down to her level, stopping before her. Bella heard the question in his tone and considered explaining herself, but she felt too uncomfortable under the scrutiny of their audience. She knew she had to say something though, and recalled how appeased Aro had looked when Carlisle had been respectful. 

“Thank you for seeing me,” she replied. Her apparent avoidance only made him smirk, tugging Bella’s gaze to his lips for a brief second. As she looked up at him and held his gaze, Bella found she could concentrate better despite his proximity. She supposed it should have worried her that he was standing so close, and perhaps it did; her pulse continued to thrum away in her wrist but it was ambiguous and easily forgotten. Bella’s breathing relaxed, confidence edging back into her posture. Aro looked just as impressive as he had two weeks before, his gaze just as intense, compelling Bella to forget they weren’t alone. 

“May I?” He asked, reaching out for her hand. Bella could only nod her acceptance, lifting her hand into his, unconsciously gravitating towards him as he closed his eyes. For a brief moment, she worried that his gift would work, that whatever had stopped him previously had been a fluke and he would be privy to her mind. She tried her best to silence her thoughts, anxiety building once more, but then he smiled and opened his eyes. “Magnifico,” he breathed and leaned in as if to tell her something in confidence. “I find myself just as delighted as the first time.” His aroma struck her as he spoke and had her pupils dilating, forcing a pale blush to rise on her cheeks. Bella pulled her hand from his grasp as she jerked away, shocked by her own behavior. 

"Carlisle sends his regards," she exclaimed, observing his crest, too mortified to return his gaze. 

"Cullen?" A sharp voice hissed from behind him. Aro’s smile took on an irritated glimmer, as if he too had forgotten where he was. He turned to the side so that he could observe both Bella and the other Kings. Bella looked up at them too. On the left was Marcus, resting his hands on the arm on his throne, appearing more or less uninterested. He looked youthful in person, Bella discovered, doubting him to have been much older than Emmett when he was bitten. His shoulder length brown hair was combed back and curled down to his shoulders, framing his gentle features. In staggering contrast on the right, Caius sat tall and glared. With features that were all pointed and ashem, his most prominent attributes were his cardinal eyes; Bella thought they seemed to glisten under attention. Caius looked to be the oldest, having been changed in his 40s, but Bella knew from what Carlisle had told her, that he was in fact the youngest Master of the Volturi. “This is clearly a violation of the law,” Caius accused, looking upon Bella as if her mere existence offended him. 

“There is more to consider,” Marcus droned. 

“Her gift may prove useful but it does not exempt her of consequence, nor does it give licence to their criminal acts.” Bella frowned, disapproving of his tone. It was clear that he disliked the Cullens and it bothered her. 

“The infraction will be remedied, Brother,” Aro stated calmly. “Isabella, here, is to be changed. I gave her my word.” 

“Should not the Cullens do it? She is their loose end after all.” Caius’ voice raised in anger, his lips curling. 

“Carlisle was to do so himself,” Aro said, inclining his head as he looked back at Bella. 

“And yet he has not,” Caius growled. “Is it so that he is too spineless to see it through or does he believe himself to be above the law-” 

“Carlisle isn’t a coward,” Bella defended, indignant at his accusation. Her interruption simultaneously surprised and infuriated the blond King, so much so that Bella thought he was about to leap from his chair and remove her head. 

“I am inclined to agree,” Aro smiled, bemusing Bella with his pleased expression. “Though I, too, am curious of the events that have taken place, bringing you here, mio cara.” Bella exhaled quietly and glanced between Aro, who waited with an air of encouragement, and Caius, who was bearing his teeth. 

“Edward… enlightened me, I suppose,” she explained carefully, finding her words as she spoke them, directing them at Aro. “Carlisle is a good man,” she stated for Caius’ benefit. “Killing me would hurt him, and I don't want to do that, not if there’s another way.” 

“How very fortunate for you that there is,” Caius seethed. 

“Very fortunate, indeed,” Aro agreed, thoughtful. Bella’s worry returned. 

“You will, won’t you?” She asked him, her voice and eyes pleading. 

“Of course, bella,” he reassured, “qualsiasi cosa per te.” Bella’s brows furrowed at being addressed in Italian. It hadn’t occurred to her until then that they were speaking English for her sake. “But, for now, you should rest. It is quite the journey you’ve undertaken. Jane, please accompany Isabella to her rooms.” Upon hearing her orders, the yellow-haired child - Jane - walked back towards Bella, not slowing as she passed. Bella, knowing a dismissal when she heard one, smiled cautiously at Aro before turning to follow. 

Bella was bewildered when Jane opened the cherrywood door and led her into where she was to stay. Rooms, plural , was appropriate, though Bella was more inclined to call it an apartment. The entrance brought them into a living room that was filled with, what Bella could only assume was, very expensive ornate furniture. The walls were painted white, bordered in gold, and separated with thin columns. A gorgeous chandelier hung from the ceiling, giving the space an almost natural light despite the fact that they were clearly underground. Directly underneath was a white marble-topped coffee table, a centerpiece for two high-backed armchairs and a matching couch. To the right of them was an arched doorway, leading to what looked like an extravagant bath built into the floor. Bella’s jaw hung as she looked around, taking in the creme curtains that framed various pieces of art on the walls, and the golden threaded rug covering most of the floor. It was too expensive for her to stay in, surely there had been some kind of mistake. 

“Heidi has put your clothes away,” Jane said, displaying no emotion whatsoever. Not a mistake then. Bella felt like she needed to sit down. “If you need anything, you’re to call for her.” 

“Okay,” Bella breathed, noticeably overwhelmed. Jane regarded her pensively for the briefest of moments, before she turned and left Bella alone. Taking deep breaths as she walked, Bella gingerly made her way through the living room towards the only other open doorway. It took her through into the bedroom, decorated in similar colors with furniture fit only for royalty. Bella sat down on the creme ottoman at the end of the bed, looking around, completely baffled. 

Chapter Text

Heidi found Bella an hour later, still investigating her surroundings with a mixture of vigilance and awe. The sudden appearance of another person in the living room made Bella flinch, exclaiming ‘Jesus fucking Christ’, much to Heidi’s amusement. 

“Not quite,” the mahogany-haired vampire replied, clipboard in one hand. “I’m Heidi,” she added, holding out the other for Bella to shake. It was an oddly formal greeting to Bella and one she didn’t expect a vampire to make, especially not here . Bella scarcely recalled the Cullens ever making much attempt to touch her in the beginning, besides Alice’s brazen hugs. Even Edward had, for the most part, kept his hands to himself. Bella had assumed it was because they feared hurting her but as she held Heidi’s practiced grip, she wondered if there was another reason. 

“Bella,” she replied. 

“I will be your personal assistant while you’re with us,” Heidi told her, gesturing for Bella to walk with her. “If there is anything at all that you require, I will do my best to deliver.”

“Uh, thanks,” Bella replied, though she was certain she had no need for an assistant of any kind. “I hadn’t expected to be so… taken care of .” Heidi laughed, the musical sound raising the hairs on Bella’s arms. 

“All guests of the Masters are attended to,” she said. 

“And I’m… Master Aro’s guest,” Bella spelled out, not that she believed this warranted the luxurious apartment she was staying in. Heidi’s look spoke of the obviousness of this and Bella squirmed, now embarrassed at herself. Bella wondered what it was about vampires that made humans act so dumb as she was led into the bathroom, an imacutely-tiled space that was more bath than room. 

“Through here is your wardrobe,” Heidi said. Bella followed her as they passed the bath, discovering that the room was larger than she’d thought. The main doorway was in a blind corner and after walking 12 feet into the room, it spanned left for another 10. Bella saw that there was a toilet separated by a half wall, a long porcelain sink with a golden Baroque mirror possibly made of real gold, Bella feared - and another cased opening. “It’s not very spacious,” Heidi apologized as they entered the cubbyhole lined with sliding glass doors, a floor length mirror on the far wall, “but it has brilliant lighting and is one of the few wardrobes that has carpet.” 

“I’ve never been in a closet I could walk through,” Bella replied, believing it to have more than enough room. How many people did she expect Bella to bring in? Heidi merely smiled as she slid one of the doors along. 

“Your clothes are in here,” she said, revealing Bella’s clothes, crease-free and on hangers that Bella knew to be more expensive than the items they held. “A few gowns have been ordered for you,” Heidi went on to say, oblivious to the panic that surged in Bella’s eyes, “and I will bring you a selection of shoes. You may wear casual clothes such as your jeans within your rooms and in the gardens, but formal wear is required in the gallery, ballroom, library, and of course in Court. Valentina is out purchasing a variety of coats, I am told that the corridors are rather cold, especially in the evenings.” 

“You didn’t have to,” Bella stammered. “I- I have money, I can-” 

“We will not be invoicing you, Mistress,” Heidi frowned, looking bemused and a little insulted. Bella only looked more distressed at the way she’d been addressed. “I mean, Bella,” Heidi corrected. “Forgive me.” 

“I’m not very good with gifts ,” Bella explained quietly, glancing around, “especially expensive ones.” 

“I will pass your sensitivity along,” Heidi replied slowly, as though this was something she was now having to spell out herself. Bella cringed, horribly aware that her response must have been unusual and, worse, ungrateful. 

“No,” she winced. “I just- I- I mean, thank you. I wasn’t expecting any of this, it’s a lot. The most expensive thing I’ve ever owned was a truck from the 50s and I didn’t even buy it.” Heidi, who was beginning to look lost, visibly brightened. 

“You have an interest in vintage cars?” 

“Uh, no,” Bella replied. Heidi frowned again and then seemingly dismissed the trainwreck of a conversation by sliding the glass door closed. 

“I will need to make a list of all the foods you like,” she said. “Do you have any allergies?” Bella replied that she didn’t. “Your meals will be prepared by Chef Tommaso at a restaurant nearby, Enoteca Del Duca. You may eat elsewhere if that is your preference but we would appreciate it if you would return to the Palazzo by ten pm. Please let me know by lunchtime at the earliest if you will be dining out, otherwise I will deliver your evening meal at five o’clock. Breakfast will be at eight, lunch at noon.” Heidi led her back through to the living room as she spoke, politely ignoring the way Bella’s heart rate picked up, and sat down on the couch. Bella hesitated before she sat down in the opposing arm chair, not having had the nerve to touch the upholstery. “Before we discuss sustenance,” Heidi smiled, as if it amused her, “is there anything you would like?” 

“Like what?” Bella asked. She’d been in Volterra for two hours and it already felt as though she’d left normal civilization behind. 

“Books, perhaps,” Heidi suggested. “Or I could bring you some wine. Master Aro has quite the collection.” Bella didn’t want to think about the kind of wine a King might have if her rooms were considered guest quarters . 

“I’m okay,” Bella said. She wasn’t sure that she would be there long enough to need anything at all and was beginning to wish she’d asked Alice or Carlisle for more information before she left Ithaca. It was clear that Heidi believed she was to stay for a while if ordering her clothes was anything to go by, and it made Bella question things such as when will Aro turn me and am I allowed to leave . 

“Are you sure? You arrived with so little,” Heidi said, leaning forward with a look of deep concern. Bella tried her best to look reassuring as she smiled, wondering what the Volturi’s guests usually brought with them. 

“I legally died last week,” Bella said, as if this explained it but once again, the vampire looked bemused. “The Cullens faked my death in a car crash, most of my things had to be in the car so it was believable.” 

“Oh,” Heidi said, surprising Bella with how sad she not only sounded but looked. 

“Alice loaned me some things though, so it’s not the end of the world,” she added, uncomfortable with being pitied. 

“Of course,” Heidi agreed, though she continued to look somber. “Please do think about it, Bella. I would hate for you to find yourself bored. We understand that humans require a lot more stimulation than ourselves, time can pass so slowly for you.” Bella fought to contain a smirk as she replied that she would think about it. Was Heidi only being overly attentive because she was human? Bella imagined it was a rare occurrence for the Volturi to shelter a human given most were just something they intended to eat. It would explain the apartment too, she reasoned, if it was the only one with a bed and a usable bathroom. The thought made her feel a little better, and her mood improved as they discussed meals and ingredients. “I will see to your evening meal immediately,” Heidi said after she stood, grasping her clipboard with both hands before she removed something from it and handed it to Bella. 

“What’s this?” Bella asked, taking the card. There was something written in Italian on it, perplexing her. “Some sort of initiation?” She joked. 

“The WiFi password,” Heidi replied, mirroring Bella’s smirk.

Bella returned to the closet once she was alone, retrieving her cell, its charger, and the granola bars from her backpack. She joined the WiFi, shooting off an iMessage to Alice, letting her know she was still alive, and ate some granola. Then, after searching on her hands and knees for ten minutes, she realized there wasn’t a plug in the apartment. It was with trepidation that she decided to ask Heidi for somewhere to charge her phone when the vampire returned at five on the dot, carrying a tray. Unfortunately, her personal assistant wasn’t alone, accompanied by a blond-haired man in a cloak, carrying a bottle of wine and a glass. His presence unsettled her, just as Jane’s had. Bella supposed it was probably because he, like Jane, looked completely apathetic. 

“Chef Tommaso insisted,” Heidi explained, noticing the way Bella gazed at the vampire pouring her wine. Bella didn’t have the nerve to refuse it, she only hoped it was from the restaurant and not from Aro’s collection. Her dinner, a seafood risotto, was served at the coffee table as it was the only suitable surface in the room but upon seeing Bella hunched over, reaching for her knife and fork, Heidi frowned and threw up her hands. “This won’t do,” she announced, halting Bella. “Demetri, go at once and find a proper table.” Demetri disappeared from the room. 

“This is fine,” Bella disagreed, “I can sit on the floor,” she suggested, and moved to do so after considering the carpet, afraid she might drop food on it. The last thing she needed was to be detained in Volterra, working off a dry cleaning bill. 

“Absolutely not,” Heidi replied, aghast at the mere suggestion. “Ladies do not sit on the floor, Bella.” 

“That’s a very dated thing to say,” Bella said carefully as Heidi helped her back onto her feet.  

“I do not mean to speak of your sex,” Heidi said, her brows drawn together as she looked quickly around the room. “I simply mean that you are a valued… guest . I could not endure- I mean to say that it is not appropriate.” 

“Okay,” Bella conceded. “If you feel that strongly about it.” 

“I do,” Heidi said and exhaled in relief. With Demetri absent, Bella took the opportunity to mention her charging needs. “I will see to it immediately,” she said, pleased that Bella had asked. Barely two minutes passed before Demetri returned, carrying a dark wooden table with ease. “I’ll order an alternative that coordinates better with your rooms, but for now I hope this will do.” Bella quietly consented. Heidi’s behavior had perplexed her, and she worried that the vampire might be punished should Bella find anything disagreeable. Once her dinner was served again, this time at a proper table complete with a satin table cloth, Bella was left to eat in privacy. 

An outlet was fitted in her bedroom just after seven. Bella thanked Demetri four times, making herself blush so badly that, once he left, she had to sit down for twenty minutes with her head in her hands. Fortunately for her, Alice must have seen because she decided to FaceTime.

“Show me around,” she demanded after they’d exchanged pleasantries. Bella complied, amused at all of the Oohs and Ahhs that followed. Alice’s favorite part was the closet and Bella only grumbled when promises of gifts were made. “You have lots of space to fill, Bella,” Alice said, as if it made clothes shopping compulsory.

“What am I going to do with it all once I leave?” Bella asked, rolling her eyes as she sat back on the couch. “I don’t think carrying a storeroom around with me will be very inconspicuous.” 

“You’re so dramatic,” Alice laughed. “But if you’re so worried about it, you can always send your things to us. We’ll keep them in your room.” The precipitous reminder that the Cullens anticipated her return faltered Bella’s smile; she had thought she’d made herself clear in regards to her place not being within their family, and was disappointed that Alice would be the one to infer as much, especially with her gift, as it sounded as though she was stating an absolute. 

“I don’t need a room,” she reminded Alice, and subsequently the other Cullens that were nearby; Bella hoped Edward was among them. 

“It’ll only be for visiting, don’t worry,” Alice sang, Bella relaxed. 

“Where else will Alice go to mope?” Emmett called from somewhere off camera. Alice glared at him but it was more amused than angry, betraying a begrudging fondness at his teasing. Bella was surprised to find herself missing them already. 

“Ignore Emmett,” Alice huffed. “Tell me everything. How was your journey? Oh, and your meeting with Aro? I’d love to know what he decided to do, he kept changing his mind, it was very frustrating.” Bella’s face screwed up in confusion. What did she mean by the word ‘do’? 

“What was he considering doing?” Bella asked, tone heavy with mistrust. Alice waved away her concern. 

“Nothing completely untoward,” she dismissed, not that it reassured Bella at all. “So?” She prompted. Bella sat quietly for a moment, contemplating. For some inexplicable reason she found she didn’t want to tell Alice about what had happened in Court. It wasn’t that she was worried, being overheard gossiping was the least of her troubles even if the Volturi didn’t appreciate it, and Caius had been out of order. Really, it was to be expected that Bella would confide in the Cullens given their relationship. It was this relationship, after all, that had caused Bella to stand up against Caius in the first place, but Bella felt like discussing it was wrong . Even telling on Valentina twisted her gut. “Bella?” Alice asked. 

“The journey was fine,” Bella stated, forced to say something. “Valentina met me at the airport, she was…” rude, arrogant, unfairly attractive. “The drive was… Volterra is beautiful.” 

“That’s good,” Alice murmured slowly, confused as to why Bella was being so vague. “And Aro?” 

“Was very polite,” Bella shrugged, she was definitely not going to recount how she’d leaned into his presence like a touch-starved imbecile. Unfortunately, thinking about it only caused Bella to blush again. 

“I see,” Alice said with an all too knowing smile. “Well, as lacking as this catch up was, I’m glad to see you look well, and that you’re enjoying the scenery.” Scenery was said with a wink. Bella’s blush deepened and she purposefully pointed the phone away from herself as Alice laughed. “Call me again soon, Bella. I miss you already.”  Bella, returning the camera on her face, grumbled out a miss you too before the call ended. 

At eight, Bella was entirely too vexed by her own thoughts, frustrated with herself and with Alice for being so annoyingly perceptive. She yearned for a shower, only there wasn’t one so Bella was forced to run an exceedingly large bath. She stripped out of her travel clothes, glad to be free of the jeans she’d been wearing for the past 29 hours, the inseam having left indents in her legs, and found a playlist on Spotify to eradicate the silence. Bella thought about Aro as a piano melody ricocheted around the room, hoping he had been too distracted by the scent of her blood to notice her earlier indiscretion. “ So close, no matter how far, couldn’t be much more from the heart.” She told herself that it wasn’t her fault, vampires were alluring on purpose, but the thought that Valentina might have behaved similarly didn’t reassure Bella much of anything, and imagining the gorgeous receptionist in her place only sparked an anger that she didn’t understand. “Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters.” Bella buried the disconcerting emotion, and banished her imaginings of black hair, red eyes, and rosewood. She, instead, thought about the unnecessary size of the tub as she waited for the water to rise, forgiving its extravagance once she was in, the hot water relaxing her nerves. She floated in the center, exhausted from travelling and from all of the excitement she had had so far. “Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new.” What had he said? Qual-see-asi? What did it mean? “Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters.” She tried to work it out, but it had no outcome. Bella huffed and closed her eyes, sinking beneath the water. She was going to have to learn Italian, wasn’t she? 

Chapter Text

Bella startled violently when she was woken up the next morning by a cold hand touching her arm. Her dream had been so statically mundane, contrasting with her nightmares as of late, that she believed she was back in New Jersey as she’d slowly come to. 

“Apologies, signora,” Heidi smiled softly. Bella clutched her chest, heart racing, a faint needle of pain pulsing in her temple. The shock had cleared away any residual fog from her mind, reminding her of where she was and who she was with. Bella looked at her cell, the device silent on the marble-topped side table beside the bed. 

“What time is it?” She asked, certain she had set an alarm for seven so that she would be ready when Heidi arrived with her breakfast at eight. 

“Eight o’ four.” 

“Shit,” Bella grumbled and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I thought I’d set an alarm.” 

“You did,” Heidi said, walking around to the bottom of the bed. “It was quite loud and lasted for ten minutes.” Bella grimaced as she picked the phone up, the screen lighting up to reveal ‘missed-alarm’ notifications proving Heidi was correct. 

“Sorry,” she apologized again, this time for subjecting the Palazzo to the incredibly irritating phone jingle. 

“You don’t need to apologize, Bella,” Heidi told her, and it was in the way she said it that made Bella worry Heidi meant she didn’t need to apologize ever; as if she was being indefinitely exempted from fault. Bella had thought about Heidi after her bath the previous evening, becoming more and more uncomfortable as she recalled what Heidi had told her and how the vampire had acted. For as long as she could remember, Bella had been independent, forced to raise herself and bring order to her home. There were many years where Bella’s budgeting skills kept a roof above her and Renee’s head. Even her time with Charlie, as much as she hated to remember those years, had done little to familiarize Bella with being taken care of. It was foreign and uncomfortable, and though she knew Heidi was just doing her job , Bella couldn’t stomach the thought of being so obviously served while she was in Volterra. It wasn’t simple to remedy though; Heidi was doing what she was told and there was a very real possibility that she would be punished if Bella complained or dismissed her, something that steadily boiled Bella’s blood the more she thought about it. “Your breakfast is on the table, mushroom and tomato frittata with coffee and fruit, and I have brought you some gowns; they’re waiting for you in your wardrobe.” Bella grimaced as she climbed out the bed, quickly making it much to Heidi’s obvious amusement before she followed the vampire through to the living room. 

“This looks amazing, thank you,” Bella said as she sat down at the table. 

“You’re most welcome,” Heidi replied. “I’ll leave you to eat but before I go, Master Aro has asked me to pass along an invitation. He would like to give you a tour of the Palazzo’s library this afternoon.” Bella froze as she lifted the mug of coffee to her lips, surprised for a moment that Aro would want to see her again so soon. Something akin to anxiety fluttered in her stomach under Heidi’s watchful gaze, reminding her of the way Alice winked during their call. It unsettled her. 

“Okay,” she said and took a sip, the coffee bitter. “What time?” 

“One o’clock,” Heidi told her. “I’ll escort you to the library myself. Would you like any help choosing what to wear?” Bella wanted to say no, to tell her that she was perfectly capable of getting dressed on her own, thank you very much. But Bella’s knowledge on gowns was limited, her knowledge of Palazzo etiquette even less. 

“Um, alright,” she agreed.

“Wonderful.” 

The gowns were, in fact, gowns much to her horror. Bella thought the garments were over the top, and that it was excessively old fashioned that she was required to wear a dress. She said as much as Heidi laced up the back of her dark green cami dress.

  “Dresses aren’t mandatory,” Heidi replied, smiling at Bella in the reflection of the mirror, “if you like, I can order you some suits and blouses.” Bella looked as though she’d tasted something sour as she agreed, making Heidi laugh. “I’ve never met someone so averse to gifts,” she commented, adjusting the spaghetti strap on Bella’s shoulder. 

“I just, I don’t have any way to repay all of this,” Bella shrugged. “I mean, this dress alone. This is nicer than anything I’ve ever worn and I’m just supposed to wear it to the library. It’s insane.” 

“Not just to the library, Bella,” Heidi hummed. “This would be lovely for a trip to the theatre or to a party.” Bella scoffed. “It’ll keep for when such events come around, I assure you.” Bella couldn’t find an argument for that so she fell silent instead and observed herself in the mirror. The dress had a sweetheart neckline, thin straps, and stopped just above her knee. It was beautiful, and what was more frustrating was that she felt beautiful in it. Bella flattened it down against her stomach, fingers brushing against the lace as she ran her hands over the white embroidered flowers. “You look lovely,” Heidi said and laughed again when Bella visibly squirmed. “You’re a strange human.” 

“So I’ve heard,” Bella muttered. 

Aro was waiting for them outside of the library, dressed in a similar black shirt and suit to the day before but with a noticeably green tie. Bella expected to feel shy in his presence, her anxiety palpable as they’d made their way from the apartment, walking through corridors and taking an elevator up a few floors in silence, but an easy smile formed in response to his own as he looked down at her. Heidi smiled to herself as Bella’s heart rate increased. 

“Bella, il mio sole, you look perfecto,” Aro greeted, reaching out to take Bella’s hands in his own. Bella’s shoulders rose and she looked away, the compliment stirring conflict within her. She wanted to shrug off his words and tell herself he was merely being polite, or more likely; he was trying to butter her up to the idea of sticking around. She wasn’t naive, it was clear he was fascinated with his inability to use his gift, she anticipated his attention; a new puzzle for him to play with. But she was still human, it was only natural that his words would affect her. Wasn’t it? 

“Grazie,” she murmured, one of the few Italian words she knew. It was unfair that his brightened demeanor made her heart stutter. Asking him not to dazzle her sounded ridiculous though, so she tried her best to make her smile tempered, aiming to look polite. 

“Che meraviglia, che delizia,” he beamed, releasing her hands to clap. Bella pursed her lips. 

“I… have no idea what that means,” she admitted, not that Aro looked surprised. “I know, uh, four words. Grazie and lei parla inglese.” Aro laughed. 

“If you are interested in learning more, I would be most amenable to teaching you,” he said. Bella didn’t reply, though she had already accepted the night before that learning Italian was a must; she reminded herself she didn’t want to commit to anything yet. The length of her stay was still undiscussed and she was adamant not to put her change off longer than necessary. She hadn’t lied when she’d told Carlisle the sooner, the better . Plus, it would be easier to learn Italian after. “Let us go through,” Aro said and gestured to the double door before them before he removed a pair of sunglasses from his jacket pocket and put them on. Bella turned to say goodbye to Heidi, briefly questioning Aro’s glasses, but her PA was already gone. Her obliviousness to her chaperone’s departure made her blush and she consciously ducked her head in shame as Aro gestured for her to lead the way. 

The library was incredible. It wasn’t the biggest Bella had visited but it was definitely the most beautiful. Like her rooms, it was fit for royalty; the furniture and art alike were exquisite. Aro followed Bella quietly to wherever she wanted to go, surprising her with his diligence as he educated her on the paintings she stopped to look at and books she picked up but couldn’t read. More surprisingly, however, was the people. Back above ground, the library was open to the public; tourists and historians alike browsing the shelves and whispering amongst themselves. It explained her vampire companion’s glasses, though he took them off whenever they were alone. 

“It’s a shame that there are not more publications here for you to read,” Aro stated, watching Bella put down another book, her attention caught by the leather spine. 

“It’s not really surprising,” Bella replied and crossed around a bookcase, aware but not uncomfortable that Aro watched her through the shelves. She had relaxed as they’d walked around; Aro had kept his hands to himself, he hadn’t complimented her again, and she was distracted enough by the architecture to ignore his stares. 

“I will have to create a collection for you so that you may experience our archives properly,” he pressed, meeting her gaze. Bella regarded him briefly before she picked up another leather bound book, this one a dark red, and opened it. Storia della Letteratura. “History of Literature?” Bella asked, holding up the book to show him the title embossed across the front in gold. 

“An interest?” Aro asked in return, stepping around the bookshelf so they were standing face-to-face. Bella looked up at him as she contemplated what to say. There was no reason for her not to tell him, even if his curiosity was limited and he grew bored of her, he had been incredibly nice . Bella was unnerved as she realized she already felt indebted to him and he hadn’t even bitten her yet. Placating his interest only troubled her more. Wasn’t that what she’d done with Edward? 

“Why do you ask?” 

Aro smiled to himself and held his hand out for the book. Bella slowly placed it on his palm, holding his gaze, eyes full of suspicion. 

“I suppose I ask to be polite,” he admitted. “I know as much about you as you have allowed Carlisle and Edward to know.” Bella’s brows knitted together. If he was telling the truth, then he would know that Bella studied Literature at College. Hell, he would know a lot more than that. Bella wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Edward had spent time getting to know her because he was kept from her mind, frustrated with knowing nothing at all, but Aro already knew her. Was his only motive just to humor her? Bella thought he would have had more important things to be doing. He watched her as she thought about this, amused by the way her eyes searched his own, demanding answers to her unspoken questions. 

“With your… talent,” Bella eventually replied, turning her head to see if anyone was close enough to overhear them. “How does it work?” If he was able to discern so much information from a mere touch of hands, it wasn’t as similar to Edward’s gift as Bella had thought. 

“How do you think it works?” His voice dared her to speak her mind. Bella scoffed. 

“You want me to guess?” She asked indignantly. 

“Yes,” he replied. “Perhaps we can make a game of it,” he suggested and smiled as he opened the book in his hand. Bella, now uninterested in the book at all, narrowed her eyes. 

“Everything?”

“Well, that wasn’t much of a game at all,” Aro frowned, reading the book’s table of contents. Bella didn’t believe for a second that he was truly disappointed and without missing a beat she asked what it was she really wanted to know. 

“Is that what I am to you? A game?” Aro snapped the book closed, drawing Bella’s attention, and when she looked back up; he held her gaze with a familiar intensity. 

“That’s quite the accusation,” he replied, his tone careful.

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” Bella disagreed, matching him in volume and tone. “It wouldn’t surprise or upset me if I was,” she added, and found herself empathizing with him. “I know this is new for you, not being able to know what you want. It probably feels wrong.” 

“Not wrong,” he replied, a disagreement of his own. “Such a precarious view you have of me already, Isabella .” The hairs on her arms rose. “I am disappointed but, like yourself, not fortuitously surprised. While I do know a version of you, I thought it only considerate to get a better understanding, unless of course you believe Carlisle and Edward to have a thorough grasp.” Bella felt contrite, embarrassed that she had judged him so quickly. It was obvious that her assumption had bothered him though his demeanor reflected no disdain towards her. “If that is the case,” he continued, interrupted by Bella.

“It’s not.”

“I thought as much,” he acknowledged. “The Volturi has a distinctive image, we have commissioned it this way so that we may govern effectively. Fear of consequence is what keeps a lot of our species from revealing themselves to humans. Without it, mistakes would be made, and have been made in the past.” 

“Is that why Caius thinks Carlisle is ignorant?” 

“My Brother believes Carlisle is unafraid of these consequences, yes,” Aro replied. “He believes our friendship has made Carlisle a liability and that my fondness for him has made me weak.” 

“He wouldn’t betray you,” Bella stressed. 

“He has already done so in leaving you human, Isabella,” Aro said and sighed. “The law is quite clear that a human knowledgeable of our kind must either be changed or die.” 

“But I will be changed,” Bella replied. “You told Caius that the crime would be remedied.”

“I did, and it will be,” he agreed. “However, the damage has still been done. Caius is not alone in his concerns, Carlisle may very well repeat this violation in future. But I digress-” 

“You would kill him?” She asked, clearly upset by the thought.

“What would have us do?” Aro asked. Bella thought quickly. 

“What if you had insurance?” He gestured for her to continue. “I’m the violation, right? You could punish me instead.” 

“Punish you, how?” 

“I could… stay here,” Bella grimaced. “Caius said I could be useful.” 

“You would remain here against your will for eternity to keep him safe?” Bella nodded. “Why?” 

“I know if our roles were reversed, he would do the same for me,” Bella explained, “and because I love him.” Aro’s eyes darkened for a few long seconds. To anyone else, it would have been a warning but to Bella it was reassurance; he was thinking about it. When they lightened, he looked perplexed but not angry. Seeing her worry, his gaze softened. 

“As do I,” he said. “I suppose I should tell you that we are not pursuing the matter further, but Carlisle and his coven will be monitored closely from now on.” Bella’s shoulders lowered and she breathed out slowly in relief. “I must apologize, such conversations are not inspiring and I fear I have only narrowed your views of me further.” 

“Why does it matter what I think?” Bella asked, not contradicting his assessment. He was silent as he gestured for her to walk with him again, and in doing so convinced Bella that he was finished with their conversation and wasn’t going to answer. He surprised her by explaining as they walked amongst the shelves, directing her to stand before an oil painted canvas depicting angels looking down on a Nativity scene. Adoration of the Shepherds , she read on the plaque beneath it. 

“A bond between a sire and their siree is an intimate one, Isabella.” Bella turned her head to look at him, but he continued to observe the painting. “I believe that there should be a certain amount of respect and loyalty between the two, both of which can only come from familiarity and honest communication.” Bella thought about this as she walked away, leading him on again to wherever she wanted to go. 

Half an hour later, she found a book depicting the History of Volterra in English. It was old with frail pages and a broken spine so Bella handled it as carefully as she could. 

“You may borrow it if you like,” Aro offered, carrying three books himself including the leather bound History of Literature. 

“Thank you,” Bella gratefully replied. She would be more comfortable reading in her apartment, she realized. As unfamiliar as it still was to her. 

“You are most welcome.” Bella, having dissected his earlier words, felt she owed him something a little more for his generosity. 

“I studied Literature and Creative Writing at NYU,” she stated, and knowing it was something he already knew, she added, “I like history and romance, sometimes crime. Reading is a way to escape, I guess. I thought Literature would be interesting.” 

“And it wasn’t?” Aro asked, visibly interested. 

“It was okay,” Bella shrugged. “I didn’t enjoy the assignments. I felt like I was trying to cater my opinion to my professors most of the time. Made having an opinion at all feel rather redundant.” 

“It does sound rather,” Aro agreed. “What influenced you to take Creative Writing?” 

“I wanted to do something practical,” she replied. “I thought I might be good at it too. Maybe create something that would  be a means of escape for someone else.” 

“And did you?” His question made Bella wince. 

“My grades were fine,” she said. “Nothing to boast about.” Aro smiled, disbelieving her self-depreciation. “I did enjoy writing though. I kept at it after I graduated but it’s been a while now since I… felt inspired .” 

“Isabella, ragazza dolce, Volterra is a splendid town. I am sure once you see it, it will capture your imagination,” Aro replied, seemingly pleased by the thought. Bella didn’t look convinced. “You do not believe me. Hmm. Well, perhaps a novel or two for now will suffice instead. What is it that you like to read?” 

“Um, my favorite book is Wuthering Heights,” she admitted, “Pride and Prejudice is a close second.” Bella anticipated his smirk, she knew very well that her favorites were cliche; the majority of her Literature classes had said so, the rest no doubt just thought she was pretentious as hell. 

“Che meraviglia,” he said with an encouraging smile, feigning ignorance to the frustrated look Bella shot at him as she could only guess what it was he was saying. “An admirer of the classics.” 

“What about you?” She asked, eager to move on from their discussion about her. 

“I, too, enjoy established materials. Mésa se énan ischyró ánthropo happens to be one of my favorites. It was written in 823 AD by an aristocrat named Anaxagoras. He believed that within every man, woman, and child, there was an unrelenting pinnacle of power, and that once harnessed, it could grant humanity supernatural abilities.” Bella listened, unsurprised that his favorite book was something so centered around power. It was an interesting philosophy though. 

“Do you think this power is what gives vampires abilities?” Bella asked. 

“Not just vampires,” Aro pointed out, “you yourself are still human.” 

“So it’s normal then? To have an ability before becoming a vampire.” 

“Not normal, no,” Aro replied. “I know of only a few humans that exhibited gifts before their change, yourself to be included. Jane and Alec are among them also. It is a particularly thought-provoking element of life, is it not? Are our abilities merely dormant, waiting to be harnessed, brought forth by venom when we are changed?” 

“Maybe some humans are just meant to be vampires,” Bella suggested. Aro rewarded her with a dazzling smile, not that Bella felt appreciative as her eyes briefly glazed over and her cheeks flushed. 

“You speak of fate and destiny so plainly, mia cara. It is most fascinating for a self-identified atheist.” Bella wasn’t sure what to say in response, wary about discussing religion; it wasn’t something she had ever thought to educate herself on. Maybe she would one day, after she’d read everything else there was to read. “Forgive me, I do not mean to pry so blatantly,” Aro continued in her silence, “a conversation, perhaps, for another day.” 

They chatted only a few more times as Bella finished her walk around the library, discussing only the content of a book or knowledge of a painter. Aro seemed content enough to stay clear of anything else personal, their first proper conversation had given him plenty to think about. Upon leaving, he confessed that he had selected a few books Bella might find of interest and told her he meant to translate them as soon as possible. Bella had blushed furiously, adamant that she was fine with the one English book she had found but he insisted. Heidi met them at the door, a professional smile in place. Bella, feeling somewhat more confident after her time with Aro, decided she would tell him she didn’t need a personal assistant when next they spoke. He left promptly once they were no longer alone, bidding Bella a polite goodbye. 

The rest of the day passed quickly and quietly as Bella spent all of her time reading, except for when her dinner was delivered. She changed out of her dress with Heidi’s help as soon as she returned to the apartment, knowing she wasn’t to go out again. Part of her wished she had decided earlier in the day to eat out, her thoughts heavily focused on the town she was reading about, but it was too late to inform Heidi so instead she made plans to spend the next day exploring the town. When Heidi arrived to remove her dishes, Bella asked for a map and told her she would be leaving early to make a full day of it. 

Chapter Text

Thursday saw Bella up at seven, washed, and dressed in a grey vest top and shorts before Heidi arrived at eight. Bella had created an itinerary for her day and marked her stops on the map she’d gotten the night before, the majority of which were museums but that suited her. Heidi asked a few polite questions before she left Bella to eat, only to return twenty minutes later when Bella was leaving to let her know Aro wanted to walk her out. Bella took care to compose her features properly as she made her way to Court beside Heidi, conscious that she was wearing the wrong clothes as she entered, confused as to why Aro wanted to see her again so soon. Perhaps he was finished with one of her books already. Aro was standing alone in the center of the room and seemed to be lost in thought, if Vampires could do such a thing. He was wearing a dark red suit with a black shirt, his hair pulled back and tied at the nape of his neck. Bella couldn’t help but appreciate the view as she approached, much to her own chagrin. 

“Good morning, Isabella,” he greeted, her arrival prompting him to turn towards her. He gestured with a wave of the hand for Heidi to leave them, eyes fixated on Bella. Bella managed to shoot the other woman a pressed lipped, self-conscious smile before she left, slightly abashed by Aro’s undivided attention but unable to do anything about it. She relaxed slightly when the doors closed, leaving them alone. When Bella looked back up at him, she was surprised to notice that his eyes were much darker than usual. Was he hungry? Was she in danger? Aro, familiar already with her questioning gaze, merely smiled. Bella felt as though he was waiting for something which perplexed her. That’s when she realized that she wasn’t actually sure how she was supposed to address Aro. Was she supposed to bow? Heidi, nor Aro himself, had stated Bella should but maybe it was one of those things that she was simply supposed to know. Her gaze lowered to the golden crest around his neck and after a few seconds she bowed her head. “Mia dolce ragazza,” Aro murmured as he gently lifted Bella’s chin with a curved index finger. “You need not bow to me.” Bella’s skin flushed with embarrassment, her face hot as she wished for the floor to open up and swallow her. “I was merely awaiting your reply,” he added, his eyes darkening further as he observed the redness of her cheeks. 

“Sorry,” Bella murmured as she took a step back, retreating from his touch. “Can we forget I did that?” She asked, gaze on the floor as she attempted to alleviate the awkward situation with humor. 

“Forgotten,” he replied and smiled once Bella built up the nerve to look at him again. “Shall we start again?” He asked in a light-hearted tone that Bella recognized and now knew was doctored. She watched as he straightened his posture and tucked his hands behind his back. “Good morning, Isabella.” 

“Good morning,” Bella replied, shoulders hunched, purposefully omitting his name as she wasn’t sure if she should put Master before it. It was incredibly fortunate she was spending the rest of the day outside, she thought, as she looked around the empty hall; aware that her face was still much too warm. The Courtroom was much nicer to observe without Caius glaring at her, though she supposed she had still appreciated the beauty of it well enough on her arrival. Did Aro still think it was refined or did spending so much time inside ruin the charm? Bella rather hoped it didn’t but then she wasn’t sure she would enjoy half so much if she had to spend so much time beside Caius. 

“Heidi has informed me that you will be seeing our town today,” Aro said, and continued to smile as he watched Bella look around. “I regret that I cannot come along, for I would love to see what you think.” Bella glanced at him, unsure if he was genuinely disappointed or if he was just saying so to be polite. Probably the latter. 

“I’ll send you a postcard,” she replied and cringed at her own joke, making Aro laugh. 

“I look forward to it,” he replied and then he surprised her; taking up her right hand in his left, and hooking his arm around her own so that she was forced to hold onto him and walk by his side. It wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact Bella found she rather enjoyed it; she was able to smell him again as they walked so closely together, but it had been a long time since she’d been so forcibly manhandled and it bothered her that he hadn’t asked. At least he was no longer looking at her face, she reasoned as they left the hall together. “Where does your day take you first?” 

“The Roman Theatre,” Bella replied, hyper focused on their movement. 

“A marvelous choice,” Aro commented. “I hope you will tell me what you make of it when next we speak.” Bella said she would, and felt bizarrely pleased that it delighted him. He told her that he had nearly finished translating History of Literature to which Bella thanked him earnestly, delighting him further. Heidi would deliver it to her rooms when he was finished so that she could read it as soon as time permitted. Bella was still smiling about it when they reached the entrance hall she had come in through when she first arrived. Valentina was standing in the corner, supervising an elderly man as he cleaned the frame of a painting. Bella realized after a moment that it was the same elderly man that had driven her and Valentina from Pisa International, similarly dressed and just as silent. Her smile vanished as she and Valentina locked eyes. Bella fought the urge to glare though she found it happened anyway once Valentina looked at Aro, causing Bella to tighten her grip on his arm, unaware that Aro was watching the exchange with keen interest. Valentina bowed immediately when Aro looked at her, as did the old man. “Do take care, Isabella ,” Aro said, turning his back on them and blocking Bella’s view as he unhooked his arm and simply held her hand between them. She was dismayed by where he chose to stand, the small but fervent paranoid part of her wanted to keep a close eye on Valentina while she was around, but the sharp expression Aro wore was enough to distract her. His eyes were solemn and he was obviously displeased by something. Bella thought for a brief moment that he might tell her what was on his mind, it was strange to realize she wanted him to confide in her, but then he smiled and she was resigned to the fact that he would often feign a pleasant demeanor. It wasn’t a surprise, she imagined he was quite the private man, what with his head full of other people’s secrets. It was while she was regarding him that she found, once again, that she was gravitating towards him, betrayed by her thoughts and her body alike. It was the realization that she found him beautiful that had her pulling her hand away and stepping back as though she’d been shocked. 

“I- uh, I’ll see you later,” Bella panicked. She shot fingers guns at him and then visually cringed at herself before she turned and made a swift exit, bumping into the doorframe on her way out. Her nervous behavior prompted a genuine smile to grace Aro’s face as he watched her leave, and he continued to stare after her for a minute before his expression sobered up and turned stiffly towards his staff. 

The better part of Bella’s morning was spent with her forcibly distracting herself, taking photo after photo of anything that remotely held her interest. She listened to various English tour guides as she circled the ruins of the Roman Theatre, her cheeks still a deep red that she hoped passed convincingly as sunburn. Her short but sweet visit was immediately followed by a rather stilted walk around the Art Gallery, a collection of brilliant canvases much like the one Bella had seen yesterday in the Palazzo’s library. The building itself was attached to both the Palazzo and the Municipal Museum, and Bella felt distinctly exposed in a way she associated with the presence of vampires. First, she thought about Aro, wondering if he was keeping an eye on her as he had done in the Library. Then she thought about her earlier finger guns and wanted the building to cave in on her all over again. Her visit was shorter than her stay at the Roman Theatre, though she did stop by the Cathedral next door just so she could say that she’d been. 

It was all very educational and Bella was, to a degree, enjoying herself as she sauntered around. But after a while, she began to feel hollow. Lonely. She knew she was being ridiculous, less than a month ago she would have spent the day on her own without a second thought. And yet she couldn’t shake the feeling, it was like a pull tugging her back to the Palazzo where she would be among vaguely familiar faces. It probably didn’t help that she felt like a fugitive among the human population too, convinced she was going to turn around and see someone that recognized her at any moment. Emily Linton was on the tip of her tongue just in case a situation arose in which she had to give her name, not that she could think of a scenario in which it would be needed. This hollowness and paranoia weighed on her as she circuited the Etruscan Museum, sticking to empty corridors and waiting for people to move on before she looked at the exhibits. It spoke for her mood that she almost wished she had been more subservient to Valentina so that the other human woman could have come with her. 

It was lunch time when she finished at the Museum so Bella decided she would find somewhere to eat, following a group of tourists as they meandred off in the opposite direction to the Palazzo. Barely ten minutes had passed when she spotted a small restaurant down a cobble-stoned alleyway. La Vecchia Lira . It sounded nice enough and after viewing the menu fixed to the wall outside, Bella decided to go in. She was seated at a two-person table at the back of the restaurant and was waited on quickly, much to her relief. Dining was a quiet affair and she ate quickly once her food arrived, conscious that everyone around her was with at least one other person. The entire experience made her appreciative of Heidi bringing her meals to the apartment, and Bella vowed she would thank her as soon as she  could. 

One till two thirty saw Bella visit the Museo delle Torture. Bella was surprised to find that it was the most enjoyable attraction of her day so far, morbid but incredibly fascinating - at least, fascinating enough to distract her from her embarrassing antics and the spreading chill in her chest. It was so uncomfortable and disconcerting that Bella stopped at a small hidden away boutique to purchase a black floral windbreaker to zip up over her vest top. The cause of her discomfort was perplexing her as she stepped out into the sun-spilled street, and when she saw it was still early afternoon, she sighed. Perhaps spending the entire day out was too ambitious, but then she had been so excited before she left her apartment this morning. Looking up and down the street, Bella considered heading back to the Palazzo. But then what would she do with herself? Read? And in any case, she remembered, she had told Heidi she was going out and so she would only have to leave again at five to find her own dinner. It was with this in mind that she pushed on, leaving the alley behind and finding a wider, more populated, road to follow down into the lower part of the town. 

Twenty minutes passed as Bella walked, fighting a chill despite how warm the sun was on her face. She refused to turn back though, descending the hill with determination, and only stopping when she came across a small church. It would have only taken a few minutes to walk around so Bella decided not to go inside, lest it be a private sort of place where she would be remembered. Adjacent from the front doors, however, was a low wall that Bella gravitated towards, granting her a gorgeous view of the lower town where she suspected most of the locals lived as she could see clothes lines and various parked cars. It was idyllic and the sunshine only added to the ethereal calm that washed over Bella as she looked on. After a few minutes, she took out her phone and tried her hardest to take some pictures that would do it justice. None of them lived up to the real experience but Bella was pleased enough and so she sent one to Alice, not thinking much about it beforehand so that she would hopefully surprise her. It eased some of her discomfort when her phone immediately buzzed, giving her a split second where she felt as though she was sharing the view with someone and not roaming a foreign town on her own. 

It was a little frustrating for her, realizing that she was once again missing the pixie-haired girl, but a small ever-growing fondness in her heart told her that she’d waited years to be able to simply talk to Alice again. Maybe she was more ready to forgive than she’d thought. Alice had made it up to her, hadn’t she? Without her, Bella wouldn’t be alive right now, and she definitely wouldn’t be standing in Italy with a promise of Immortality. It would still hurt, she knew, whenever she thought about their leaving, and she would forever grieve for the girl that they’d left behind, but it was time. Bella never thought she would see them again, she’d thought so many things, feared so many things - especially seeing Edward, afraid of losing herself all over again. But she was here, she’d faced it all and come out stronger. It was okay to love Alice again, wasn’t it? Her phone buzzed again. 

Alice: It looks stunning! I wish I was there with you, I can’t wait to come and visit! 

Alice: Oh and there’s a postcard I think you’ll like at a gift shop off Via Baglioni. 😉

Yeah, she smiled. It was okay. 

Bella decided to continue her wander down into the town’s suburbs, refusing to turn back even as the chill in her chest spread. After a half hour walk, she found herself outside of a community pool on Via dei Cappuccini. It was with a moderate but composed excitement that she entered and bought a bathing suit from reception, a navy blue one piece that she’d preferred over the camo bikini, and a towel. Swimming was wonderful. Bella couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a pool, and spent a good hour and a half working her muscles as she swam up and down the fast lane. The last ten minutes was dedicated to floating with her eyes closed, though it wasn’t entirely relaxing as two children were splashing each other nearby, and so she decided it was time to leave. 

It was just after four when she found the store Alice had mentioned, using Google maps on her phone. It wasn’t very big and Bella had to wait outside for a few minutes as there were already a handful of customers inside, sliding amongst shelves and squeezing past one another. Bella didn’t mind though, it gave her a moment to question what postcard Alice had seen and why she’d seen it. It was with a renewal of mortification that Bella realized Alice had witnessed some of her earlier attempts at humor, saying she would bring Aro back a postcard. She groaned, resting her head back against a wall, and cursed herself for being such an embarrassing fool. Why was it vampires that had to bring it out in her? Cruel irony, she guessed. What would he even do with a postcard? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen the city, most of it had probably come and gone during his existence in Volterra. But he had implied he would have liked to have come, and Bella reasoned that he probably hadn’t gotten one before. Did he even get much of a chance to see the town? It was an awfully sunny place to live for a vampire. Tactile telepathy, he probably saw much of it through the people he met - and he’d have to hunt too, maybe he just travelled at night. Buzz . 

Alice: Stop overthinking it, Bella. He’ll love it, trust me! 

Bella rolled her eyes despite the fact that a giddiness emerged in her stomach at the thought of Aro being pleased with her. Embarrassing fool, she reminded herself as she entered the store. The postcards were on a turning rack beside the register and Bella spun it a few times, looking for the one she thought Alice was talking about. What was she even going to write? That she’d had a lovely day and she’d see him tomorrow? The thought of him reading it made her cringe. She thought about messaging Alice to ask when she saw a photograph of Volterra from a distance, mirroring her first view of the town that she saw on the drive from Pisa; a town hidden in the hills. She picked it out and circled the store for a pen before she headed back to the counter. A stout woman with tanned skin and white framed glasses was standing behind the cash register, counting a bag of coins. She glanced up and then continued what she was doing much to Bella’s mild irritation. Bella looked to the wall behind her, waiting as patiently as she could, and found her eyes landing on a KODAK printing kiosk. 

“Uh, ciao,” she said, placing the pen down on the counter top, and looking back at the woman. The woman continued what she was doing but smirked. 

“Hello,” she replied when she was done and the register was closed, she paused as she looked Bella over and then picked up the pen to check the price sticker. Bella was absolutely going to learn Italian, even if it was only to stop the locals from laughing at her. “Two Euros.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Bella said, and pulled her bag from her back as she looked once more at the kiosk. “Does that print pictures?” She asked, nodding at it as she found her purse. 

“It does,” the woman replied without turning around. “It’s 99 cents per photograph.” 

“Do you need an SD card or something?” 

“Can do, or you can bluetooth pictures from your phone.” Bella paused at that and then handed over the cash. 

“Could I use it? I have a picture on my phone I’d like to print,” she explained. The woman sighed as if it was a suffering request and then nodded. Bella waited patiently for her to ready it, and once her device paired, it only took a minute for the kiosk to receive it and print. Holding it in her hand, she smiled. It was better than a postcard, more personal. Bella thanked the cashier again before she left, clicking her pen as she walked around; searching for somewhere to sit. Her prayers were answered when she found a small cafe, L'accogliente Caffè , tucked away in the shade. It was the most privacy she’d had in weeks and Bella felt grateful for it as she placed the photograph down on the table, gazing at it with fondness before she turned it over so that she could write on the back. At first, she wasn’t sure what to write. It would have been easy to simply tell him that she was inspired by what she’d seen; it was an easy out and she believed he would still appreciate the gesture. But wouldn’t he be more pleased by evidence? Bella chewed on the end of the pen for a few minutes before she shifted in her chair and forced herself to concentrate. 

If it were not for a view 

how would we see the world 

in its houses and their homes 

with its people and their presence?

Do they see it all so true  

the solace so absurd 

were tourists to see its bones 

or is it blissful senescence?

Could it please more gravely, you 

to see it untransferred 

cobblestones and touring phones 

something more than a reference? 

If I go and thought it through 

would it look long preserved 

from sufficiency and thrones

a monichal indifference? 

Or do you notice like me 

streets not to be disturbed 

beauty in sweet catacombs 

no yearning of their ignorance 

- hidden outsider at sea 

mundanity submerged 

gone are officious intomes 

freedom from far gone inference 

- a body in solitary 

personality forged 

smiles for all of their unknowns

victory from deliverance?

Court was empty when Bella arrived back at the Palazzo, the hall bathed in shadows now that the sun had set. It was eerie without anyone around which amused Bella given it was filled with literal vampires for the majority of the day. She gazed up at the podium with keen interest as she walked through, taking in the inimitable beauty of the vacant thrones. They emanated power even without their Kings to sit upon them and Bella found herself slowing to a stop as she took in the details of Aro’s. What had he been up to while she was gone? Bella was dismayed to realize she didn’t actually know what the Volturi did on a day to day basis. Would Aro be insulted if she asked? Maybe she should call Carlisle. Whatever it was, she hoped he wasn’t bored. 

She was turning to leave when an idea hit her and she promptly took the photograph of the lower town from her bag. Refusing to think too much about it, she placed the photo on Aro’s throne. The poem on the back was longer than she’d anticipated writing, the letters smaller as they descended as Bella had run out of space, which she told herself was probably for the best. A rush of adrenaline saw her hurrying from the room after a few seconds of looking at it, hopeful that he would like it but equally worried that it was somehow inappropriate, or worse, that he might think her poem was terrible. She supposed she would find out. 

Bella was startled to see Heidi was waiting for her outside her apartment, paranoid that the vampire knew what she’d done. But Heidi merely smiled, holding up what looked to be a leather diary; calming Bella down significantly when she realized Heidi had brought her the translated copy of History of Literature. 

“ Ciao , Bella,” she greeted. “You bought a new jacket, I like it.” 

“You do?” Bella asked skeptically, opening the door for them both to enter. Heidi merely laughed as she helped Bella remove her backpack. Bella knew she should say something about Heidi’s unnecessary assistance but after spending the day alone, she found it oddly endearing. 

“I have casual clothes too,” Heidi said, as if she were making a point. “I trust you had a good day.” 

“I did,” Bella replied, “it was colder than I thought it would be but I had a nice time.” 

“I’m glad,” Heidi said and when Bella turned towards her, stifling a yawn, she smiled again, this time more genuinely. “You’re tired so I won’t keep you, I just came to tell you that Master Aro would like to see you again tomorrow.” Bella turned away, feeling her stomach flutter, pretending she was looking for something in her bag. Heidi continued, smiling, this time to herself. “He wants to show you the gardens, I believe, and you’ll be thrilled to know that you can wear jeans.” Bella forced herself to scoff through her newfound nervousness, and was shortly after left to her own devices, diary in hand. On the first page, in Aro’s refined cursive, was a dedication. 

For your enjoyment, Isabella. May this be a stimulating inauguration to our archives.  

Chapter Text

The tempered breeze felt nice on Bella’s face, cooling down her skin as she ran uphill back towards the Palazzo, listening to Sara Bareilles on her iPod. Her lungs burned in a way that Bella had missed, not having had much time or space to go for a proper run since she first arrived in Forks; a vacation that felt like a lifetime ago now. It helped that Volterra was just as beautiful, the scenery continued to awe her as she had jogged along the same streets she’d walked down the day before. It was nicer without anyone around, her paranoia abated; she was free to just be on her own. Bella thought it might be one of her all time favorite runs, if it wasn’t for the fact that she still felt a chill; she reasoned that it was to be expected given the sun hadn’t risen yet. As she turned right onto Corso Vannucci, Bella noticed a lone figure standing at the bottom of the stairs that she would need to ascend to get back into the Palazzo. It was the tourist’s entrance but Heidi had given Bella permission to use it during the early hours, as long as Bella knew she would have to continue using the more discrete side entrance the car had brought her to for the rest of the day. The situation suited Bella fine enough but she was a little dismayed as the visitor’s entrance had stairs that went straight down to court level, a more straightforward route for Bella to get to her apartment. Bella assumed it was Heidi who was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, but as she jogged closer, she slowed down, realizing it was in fact Aro. He looked foreboding in the early morning, light scarcely illuminating his features at all but Bella wasn’t unnerved to see him. In fact, she was rather pleased, though she was heavily conscious that she was sweating and she still felt nervous about the photograph slash poem she’d left for him the night before. 

“Everything okay?” She asked warily, taking out her earbuds. As nice as it was to see him, a feeling that Bella wasn’t going to look at too closely, or better yet, at all - it was still concerning to see him waiting for her. Why would he seek her out like this and so early in the morning? Had she done something wrong? 

“Everything is most okay , Isabella, I assure you,” he replied, sauntering towards her to close the gap between them. Bella noticed his eyes were a lighter red today, though they were just as piercing and dangerously captivating. She decidedly forced the reminder of his diet from her mind, knowing she would have to think about it at some point but she refused to do it in his presence. “I merely wished to ask the same of you. It is very early. Is there something on your mind?” A crease formed between Bella’s brows as she processed what he was asking before she smiled, albeit a little bemused. He was worried about her? 

“I’m fine,” she said, and was surprised to hear how ungenuine her words sounded even to herself, her smile falling into a frown. Aro quirked one of his perfectly shaped brows, wearing a small, rather knowing, smile of his own. “I just…” Bella shrugged, “couldn’t sleep.” Bella absentmindedly rubbed her chest in an attempt to warm it up. She had woken up an hour ago feeling sore and uncomfortably cold; no amount of clothes or blankets seemed to help so Bella had gotten up. Heidi had brought her an extra blanket and some tea, promising to find Bella some thicker pyjamas, but Bella felt too restless to go back to bed so she’d donned the shorts she’d worn yesterday with a clean shirt to go running in. It had helped with her restlessness and had warmed up the majority of her body but her chest was still uncomfortably cold; it was incredibly bizarre. Maybe she was getting ill, or it could simply be her body was run down after her somewhat traumatic past few weeks.

“And running helps with this?”

“Sort of,” Bella said, wrapping her earphones around her now silenced iPod. She wasn’t sure how to explain herself, hell, she wasn’t even sure she knew what was wrong - if there was something wrong - so instead she changed the topic of conversation. “It’s beautiful around here, I think I prefer it more without the people.” 

“I am pleased you think so,” Aro hummed, and gestured for Bella to walk beside him, taking her hand once they reached the stairs and holding it up as if to offer stability as they ascended together. Bella thought he rather enjoyed holding her hand and chewed on her inner cheek as she internally questioned it. “I want to thank you most sincerely, Isabella, for your photograph. It is beautiful, and your words... they have given me much to think about.” Bella felt her cheeks get hot again and she internally squirmed, unsure what to say in response. Fortunately, Aro didn’t wait for her to say anything at all. “Volterra has always been a place I greatly admire and I cannot help but feel a sense of pride when it is admired.” 

“It’s beautiful and… sort of mysterious up here in the hills,” she said, deciding talk of the town was a safer conversation to have, and she smiled politely when Aro held the door open for her to walk through. “It must have changed a lot over the years,” she added, eager to keep their conversation on the photograph and not on her poetry, though a part of her did want to know the answers to her questions.  

“It has,” Aro agreed. “Our palace is one of the oldest buildings still standing.” 

“What’s it like?” Bella asked, his fingers brushing briefly against hers’ as they made their way to the stairs, giving Bella palpitations as she tried her best to walk normally. “Having the whole world change around you, I mean,” she said after clearing her throat, relieved to find her voice still sounded calm. “It’s got to be difficult watching civilization and everything you’ve always known change. Though I guess it doesn’t hurt that people aren’t really superstitious anymore.” 

“Change is an inevitable part of existence on this planet, I have not known the passage of time itself to be difficult,” Aro replied, taking Bella’s hand again to steady her as they began to descend the stairs. “There comes a point where you no longer notice it. It has been a long time since I was human, I scarcely remember my mortal life at all but I have come to understand through my gift that time passes rather differently for our species.” Bella wanted him to continue, she wanted to know more about his history but he had given her the perfect opportunity to ask about his gift again and she’d wanted to know about that longer. 

“How does your gift work? I know you see everything but… well, what I mean is, how does it feel?” 

“I would like to hear your theories,” Aro replied, once again asking her to guess. 

“Another game,” Bella muttered, and realized then that Aro never had answered her question in the library. Or had he? They had discussed the Volturi’s image and her perception of him. Perhaps in getting to know him, Bella was supposed to realize he wasn’t the kind of man who played games. Or perhaps not. It was incredibly confusing and she wanted to ask him for a straight answer but something told her he wasn’t going to give her one. 

“I see your mind has wandered,” Aro observed. Bella scoffed, eying the stairs as they continuously stepped down, slightly abashed that she had been so obviously distracted. 

“Are you sure I’m immune?” 

“You are,” he replied, clearly amused by something. “It is most fortunate for me that your eyes take on a distinctively inquisitive look when you have something to ask.” 

“Maybe I was just thinking up something to guess,” Bella replied dryly. 

“Would you tell me where your mind went?” 

“If you tell me how your gift works,” Bella replied quickly. She looked sideways at him daringly, her chin jutted out in true Charlie-like stubbornness, gripping onto his hand tightly so that she kept her balance. Aro fought to contain a smile, prompting Bella to narrow her eyes. They reached the bottom of the stairs and began to walk again, Bella removing her hand from Aro’s and purposefully keeping an appropriate distance so that their hands didn’t meet accidentally for a second time. Aro remained silent until they were inside the Courtroom, coming to an abrupt halt before he spoke again with a look Bella could only describe as far away . 

“I feel as though I have unveiled a new plane of existence, a universe created entirely by the other person wherein they are the most important being to have ever lived. With some, it feels foreign and unwanted. I can feel that I am intruding on their mind, there is a certain amount of resistance, a pressure in the breeze, but I am stronger and I wade through. And yet with others, I am invited. There is a brief sense of acceptance, the way water feels against your skin after you have jumped from a great height, a current that guides you. It can take seconds or sometimes minutes to process everything that they have ever been or have ever hoped to be. Nothing is hidden from me; not their fears, not their regrets, not their desires. They are completely exposed in a way they have never been before, and I am an inevitable judge, jury, and executioner; the decider of their fate.” 

“That’s a lot of pressure,” Bella commented, thinking him to sound awfully self-important at first but then she reasoned that, at the end of the day, he was those things and he had been for a very long time. “Do you think being subjected to so many planes has changed you at all?” 

“I do wonder this myself at times,” Aro conceded, looking down at her with his usual intensity. “A fleeting thought will often make itself known, a thought I know not to be my own. It causes me to question where they end and where I begin, but I would not insinuate I am easily changed. I am given more opportunity than most to see from a new perspective, it would be impossible to remain impervious.” 

“That’s a lot of words to say yes and no,” Bella remarked, “but I think I know what you mean.” She imagined it would be difficult to remain completely impartial when bombarded with so many different beliefs and opinions. Bella turned away, looking towards the thrones, hoping she would be able to escape her end of the bargain now that Aro was clearly finished telling her what she wanted to know, but she was slowly pulled back by his hand on her wrist. Bella looked down at it, not sure how to feel beyond hypersensitive. “Okay,” she muttered, accepting that a deal was a deal; she would reflect on his rapport for physical contact later. “I was trying to figure you out...” 

“And were you successful?” Aro asked. He didn’t smile but Bella could tell from his eyes alone that he found her most amusing. 

“No,” she admitted, letting him lift her wrist. She wanted to be vexed by him but was unable to feel anything bad at all, despite the fact that she truly believed him to be laughing at her. “Something tells me you would be disappointed if I were.” 

“Not disappointed,” he disagreed, turning her wrist over to inspect James’ handiwork. “Fascinated, perhaps. Interested to hear what is it you think about me.” Bella fought to contain a shiver as he traced the outline of her scar. 

“I’ll let you know,” Bella said, abruptly pulling away; an action she was becoming all too familiar with. In her defense, he was the one constantly making her lose her nerve. If she knew it was because she was flustered, she didn’t allow herself to think it. “I’ll see you later, right? Gardens?” Bella asked, backing further away and all but running from the room once he replied she would. It wasn’t until Bella was safely back in her apartment, running another bath, that she realized she was no longer cold. 

Bella bathed for longer than necessary, unable to escape her own thoughts, compiling a list of questions she wanted to ask Aro about once they were together again. There were also things she needed to tell him. It was silly to act so abashed around him, she was in Volterra to be changed and tip-toeing around information she needed to know was counterproductive. After breakfast, Bella decided to get a few more hours of sleep, rest coming easier now she felt warm again. After lunch, Heidi arrived with Demetri in tow. 

“Put those in the wardrobe,” she told him, prompting Bella to look up from her phone where she was making note of her questions. Demetri was carrying what looked to be four dress bags and a box, the sight giving Bella reason to grimace. “Now now, Bella,” Heidi smirked, “you asked for suits, remember?” 

“I remember,” Bella grumbled.

“Jane helped me pick them out, we both think you’ll look wonderful in them so don’t keep us waiting too long to try them out.” Bella was surprised to hear mention of Jane, especially in relation to herself given Bella hadn’t seen many other vampires besides Heidi and Aro since she’d arrived. If she was being honest, Bella couldn’t imagine Jane talking about anything let alone something so trivial as clothes, especially for her. 

“What’s it like living here?” Bella asked, genuinely curious, locking her phone and letting it fall to the couch beside her. “I mean, when you’re not having to run around after me.” She watched Heidi carefully, hopeful that she would be honest in her reply, and was not disappointed when Heidi took a seat opposite her. 

“You’re not a burden, Bella. I enjoy helping you,” Heidi said earnestly. Bella smiled gently in reply, a little self-conscious but also pleased that Heidi seemed to like her. It certainly made her rethink her assumption that Heidi was being forced to serve her. Bella still wanted to ask Aro about it though, even if Heidi chose to stick around, Bella wanted to ensure nothing bad would happen to the vampire if Bella was unhappy. “I like living here, I like having a routine and I like having a job. It gives order to my days which, trust me, keeps me sane some days. Most of the Guard are pretty great too, once you get to know them.” 

“You’ve never wanted to leave?” Bella asked. 

“No,” Heidi smiled. “I’m valued here, which is more than I can say for my first Coven. I know from the outside, it looks like we’re prisoners but no one has ever said I can’t leave. I choose to be here.” 

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, feel free to tell me to mind my own business,” Bella said, rubbing her hands as she spoke. “How long have you been here?” 

“You may ask anything you like, Bella,” Heidi chuckled, “I try to be as transparent as possible, I find it makes other people more honest with me in return. I joined the Volturi in 1562, 12 years after I was changed.” 

“Over 400 years, that’s a long time,” Bella murmured. “And you’ve never wanted to do something else?” To her, that seemed ludicrous. Bella couldn’t imagine staying in one place for such a long time, let alone doing the same thing day in day out. Then again, Aro had said time passed differently for them. But surely there were some days when Heidi wanted something more? 

“No,” Heidi replied breezily. “Like I said, I choose to be here.” Something in the way Heidi smiled made Bella uncomfortable. A small part of her wanted to believe Heidi’s contentment, but Bella couldn’t imagine having nothing negative to say after staying in a place for that length of time. The Cullens bickered and complained all of the time, Bella was sure even Carlisle found Forks abysmal at times. It didn’t sit right with her at all. “Are you ready to leave?” Bella nodded that she was, and refrained from asking Heidi if her outfit was suitable; wary that she was already making too big a deal of it, trying her best to forget that she’d dressed with Aro in mind. 

The walk from Bella’s apartment was in a mostly comfortable silence, Heidi’s heels the only sound, but they took so many new corridors that Bella ended up feeling rather out of her depth. It was unnerving that she could get so very easily lost in the underground fortress, and hated to admit that maybe Valentina had been sensible when she’d told Bella not to leave her rooms on arrival. Once they were back above ground and the light was more natural, Bella calmed substantially. When they reached the top of a stately polished staircase with red carpet, Heidi gestured for Bella to open a wooden patio door. Bella hesitantly stepped out onto the stone built balcony, visibly confused as to why Heidi had brought her out there. Was Aro meeting her there? She turned to ask but her vampire escort was gone, leaving her alone. Maybe he was running late and Heidi had brought her here to kill some time. The view of the town was nice enough, Bella thought, appreciating it as she walked closer to the low wall that ran along the edge of the balcony. It was warm too and Bella basked in the sunlight with her eyes closed, comforted by the heat bleeding through the black and red embroidered blouse she’d tucked into her jeans. Opening her eyes, she smiled, feeling rather serene as she took in the sight of the rolling hills around the town, the sun hitting the various patches of trees. It was relaxing, and now that she was no longer plagued by the mysterious cold in her chest, she felt able to truly enjoy sight-seeing. 

Bella spent a few minutes watching the breeze hit the trees in the distance, and the people milling around the town’s streets below. Her thoughts drifted as her eyes did, not focusing on much as she waited. It wasn’t until her attention caught on to nearby movement from her left that she turned, only for her breath to be taken by a truly wondrous sight. The balcony, she realized, twisted round the side of the building and expanded out a little, giving way to a few rows of planters. Aro was waiting for her, the sun highlighting the red tones and natural highlights in his hair. Bella approached slowly, her usual anxiety suspended as she took in the way his skin shimmered in the sunlight. It was just as mesmerising to see as it had been when Edward had first shown her all those years ago, only Aro didn’t grimace under her gaze. He’s beautiful. 

“I thought that you might like to see our most recent addition first,” Aro told her, gesturing to the garden behind him, not that Bella processed any of his words. Before her thoughts could catch up and she could stop herself, Bella reached out to touch his cheek, mesmerized by the refracted light hitting her skin. Aro was completely solid under her touch, like smooth marble. What did it feel like for him? Was the warmth of her skin nice? Or was it torture to have her wrist so close? Was he tempted by her blood at all? “Ask your questions, mia bella ragazza ,” he breathed, reaching up with his own hand to hold Bella’s in place. Bella squirmed, coming to her senses, but without being able to remove her hand; she wasn’t sure how to retreat. It would be more embarrassing to jerk away now, she told herself, they were spending the afternoon together after all, it wasn’t like she had anywhere to go. Then another, more self-indulgent thought asked her when she might get another opportunity to do this again. It was this that overclouded her flight response and instead, Bella found herself gently tracing her index finger over his cheekbone. 

“Do you feel warmth?” She asked, steeling herself with courage momentarily before meeting his gaze. 

“I do,” he replied, and with his free hand, he brushed a strand of Bella’s hair back behind her ear and then gently trailed his fingers down Bella’s cheek, following the dip of her jaw, down to her neck; his eyes following his own movement. 

“Our temperature has never bothered you,” he marveled, knowing his words to be true. 

“Ironic, really,” Bella muttered. “Given how much I hate being cold.” And then she asked, “Do you get cold?” Aro hummed. 

“As of late, frequently.” 

“Does it bother you?” 

“No,” he said and smiled to himself, “it is a meager price to pay.” 

“I guess,” Bella replied, she wouldn’t complain about being cold either if she was a vampire. Especially if it didn’t bother her. Aro regarded her silently for a few long seconds, watching Bella watch him. “Does this bother you? People touching you?” 

“I must confess that most do not,” he replied, “I have, in a way, become accustomed to only touching another as a means of acquiring information.” Bella thought that sounded rather sad, how long had he lived without simple affections? Would she grow used to being untouched too? “You pity me.” 

“Does that bother you?” She asked, trying not to smirk. 

“Do you always use humor to deflect when you feel vulnerable?” He asked in reply. Bella felt grossly exposed by his question, no longer wishing to ask anything of him if it required equal amounts of honesty. The squirming in her stomach made her want to say something silly or laugh, but she wasn’t going to prove his point. Instead she debuted it with a point of her own. 

“Do you always smile when something’s bothering you?” 

“Not always,” he said, aware that he was answering for the both of them. “To answer your earlier question, no. This does not bother me.” Bella, now guarded and less enchanted with their exchange of questions, slipped her hand from under his and stepped around him; rebuilding a composure she now knew slipped far too easily in Aro’s company.

“Is this place open to the public?” She asked, looking out across the balcony garden, still able to appreciate the array of colors despite her conflicted emotions. She knew she felt glad, happy even, that touching him wasn’t bothersome. He had answered her questions and she was pleased, but he had touched a nerve and Bella wasn’t sure her questions had been worth the exposure. 

“It is,” he replied. “Jane maintains it on her own but, fret not, we have her expressed permission to plant some flowers.” Bella turned back to look at him then, surprised. 

“ You need permission?” She asked skeptically, and regretted her question immediately; afraid he would see it as a continuation of their game. Aro gestured with his hand for Bella to walk with him before crossing his arms behind his back as they walked further across the balcony together. 

“While it is true that I ultimately do not,” he replied as they walked, “I stand by what I have already told you. A sire and siree should respect one another, and Jane has been one of the most valuable and loyal members of our Guard. This garden and the others are both a gift and a reward.” Bella found his word choices interesting, they spoke of performance and use, but the way he said them spoke of a fondness she thought surpassed respect. It was with a regained restraint that she didn’t ask him if he loved his Coven as Carlisle did his. Instead she asked, 

“What’re we planting?” 

Aro had brought three kinds of flower for Bella to choose from; red Camellias, Hellebores, and winter Jasmine. Bella chose the Hellebores, thinking them to look the most interesting. Their petals were a dark purple, some appearing almost black, and Bella enjoyed the rougher looking texture of their petals. Aro left her to find a place of her choosing for the plant to go, lending her a pair of gardening gloves, and only returned to her side as she was pressing the soil back into place over the top of the Hellebores’ roots. 

“Magnifico,” he smiled once Bella stood.

“Will she survive okay with less sunlight?” Bella asked, realizing too late she had chosen a rather private planter in the shade for her Hellebore. She hoped Jane would move it if so. 

“I believe so,” Aro reassured. “Hellebores are known as winter roses and many of them, such as this species, are evergreen.” Bella was pleased by this information, hopeful that her plant would survive the winter. Unlike her. 

“When are you going to change me?” She asked. The list on her phone contained many questions, all of which she thought important, but she was spooked by his desire to know her back and so she decided that if she was only allowed one other serious question today, it would be the one at the top of her list. Bella watched him watch the open scenery for a minute before she turned her attention to the hills too, waiting patiently for his response. 

“I would like for us to know one another further beforehand,” he replied eventually, as though he’d needed time to think about his response. “I would also like to spend time educating you on our other laws and what will be expected of you once you leave Volterra.” Bella didn’t feel like he was being completely honest but she didn’t feel comfortable enough to call him on it, worried he might easily expose another one of her faults. “I do, however, appreciate that you have been waiting a long time already. How long will you give me?” Bella turned to look at him, scrutinizing his face, looking for any physical implication that he was joking, not that she would be able to tell given he could completely compose his face if he wanted to. Was he really letting her choose? “ Isabella ?” 

Chapter Text

Twenty-five days. Bella had given him until the end of the month, and he’d promised that on November 30th, she would be changed. It felt surreal having a date, surreal but in an exciting way. It would give Aro time to educate her, and it gave Bella time to make plans. Where did she want to go? Bella didn’t even know. 

Traveling had never been a big dream of hers but she liked to think it would be more exciting as a vampire, being able to remember everything she’d seen without having to take photographs. Maybe she would meet a nomad or two, befriend and travel with them for a while. There were so many possibilities and Bella grinned to herself thinking about them as she got ready. Aro had seemed more or less pleased with the amount of time he had been given, but had still asked to see Bella again this evening. Bella had never gone to the theater before, it sounded like an expensive evening, and nobody had ever expressed an interest in going. The thought of going to the theatre with Renee or Charlie made Bella snort before grief stabbed her in the chest. It would be nice, she told herself. Heidi had said it was a great opportunity to wear another ball gown but Bella decided to go with a suit instead, wanting to put off wearing a floor length dress for as long as possible. 

“You look fantastic, Bella,” Heidi smiled after helping her into the blazer. Bella was inclined to agree. The suit was navy blue, and of course, fit her perfectly. The sleeves were folded over and pinned back, exposing her forearms, scars and all, and the iron-pleated skirt stopped mid-thigh. It absolutely looked more like business attire than formal wear but Bella felt it was more her than the full length black satin or red mesh dresses that remained untouched in her wardrobe. “Which shoes would you like to wear?” Bella jumped down from the small podium in front of the mirror and sat down on it. Heidi presented her with two pairs of heels, stilettos and kitten, both black to match Bella’s black floral blouse. 

“Kitten,” she said, not wanting to break her neck. 

“I was thinking, if you like, I could do your makeup.” Bella didn’t look convinced as she slipped her feet into the kitten heels, pulling the straps up on the back of her ankles. She supposed if there ever was a time that warranted makeup, it would be an outing such as this. 

“Okay,” she agreed hesitantly. “But nothing over the top.” 

Aro was waiting for her when Bella left the Palazzo via the tourist entrance, standing at the bottom of the stairs in a charcoal grey suit with a blue tie. Bella was pleased to see he wore  his hair down, framing his face. It made him appear friendlier, she decided. Her own hair had been styled up into a high ponytail with braids, thanks to Heidi, who seemed to be just as eager to have a human doll as Alice was. 

“Isabella, mia cara, sei incredibile ,” Aro grinned, making Bella blush as she deduced at least one of his words. Aro held out his hand  once she reached the bottom of the stairs, and Bella, knowing what he was going to do, linked her arm under his and held onto it

“I think we should make a rule that you’re only allowed to talk to me in English,” Bella said, tugging at his arm, prompting him to walk with her. 

“I will agree to your rule for this evening,” Aro conceded. “Though I should think it is a good incentive to learn Italian, is it not?” 

“That’s not the point,” Bella mumbled, smiling when he chuckled in response. 

“I should like to implement a rule of my own, if I may.” Bella grimaced but gestured for him to continue. “I should like us to be honest with one another tonight. If I ask something you do not wish to answer, my dear, you need only say so.” 

“Like a safe word,” Bella muttered, then, realizing what safe words were usually used for, blushed darkly. She was relieved that the sun had already set so that those passing them on the street couldn’t see how red her face was; it was bad enough that Aro could. 

“If you’d like,” Aro said, smirking. Bella, wanting to bang her head against the nearest wall, pretended she hadn’t said anything at all. The thought of having to be transparent , as Heidi had phrased it, made her nervous. What did he want to know? Bella knew what she wanted to ask him but she wasn’t sure any of it was worth feeling vulnerable for. 

“What’s the play about?” 

“We are going to see a ballet,” Aro replied. “I thought  it might be more appropriate given the language barrier.” Bella agreed, feeling rather dumb for not having considered this herself. “The title translates to 'The Adventures of Peleus'.” 

“Greek mythology?” 

“Indeed. I will tell you the tale if you would like but I would far more enjoy hearing you tell me about it afterwards.” 

“How about you tell me after we see it, and I’ll tell you if I got it right?” Bella countered, not wanting to embarrass herself by being wrong. Aro chuckled again. 

“If that is what you wish ,” he agreed. 

Bella was surprised when they approached a restaurant instead of the theater. Aro briefly explained that he thought Bella would appreciate eating beforehand instead of afterwards, knowing her five o’clock meal had been cancelled by their evening plans. Bella had planned to get takeout after the show, and was a little embarrassed at the thought of having to eat in front of Aro. Unfortunately they were already inside the restaurant, being led to a private dining room in the back by a tall, red-headed man. Bella sat down on one side of the two person table, unbuttoning her jacket. The room was nice enough with red walls and a polished wooden floor, lit by lanterns mounted to the wall and a candle on the table. Bella thought it might be a nice place for a date, secluded and intimate as it was. Menus were handed out before they were left alone, the waiter declaring his timely return. 

“Have you ever eaten food?” Bella asked, glancing at the closed door before she looked through the drinks menu. Aro ignored his entirely, studying Bella. 

“I have,” he replied. “Various kinds, in fact.” 

“How curious of you,” Bella smiled, not looking up. “I’m guessing they all sucked.” 

“They were all equally unpleasant, yes.” Bella shook her head in disbelief, still smiling. After a few seconds of thinking him bizarre, Bella realized she hadn’t actually read anything on the menu before her, then realized it was because all of it was in Italian.“Would you like my assistance?” Aro asked. Bella’s eyes flickered up at him, her smile thinning into a guarded look. 

“I’m good,” she refused, but after looking at the columns of drinks again, she sighed. “Okay, yeah. I like wine, red. Something sweet preferably. Nothing expensive.” 

“I assure you, dearest Isabella, that there is nothing on this menu that I consider to be expensive,” Aro said, and when the waiter returned, he ordered her a glass of Casanova di Neri Brunello di Montalcino, and a glass of water for himself. Before Bella could look to see the price, the wine list was collected, and she was given a food menu in its place. Aro merely smiled, feigning innocence; reminding Bella of Charlie drawing a halo around his head. She narrowed her eyes but didn’t comment, finding the food dishes easier to discern. 

“Heidi said you collect wine,” Bella said once she’d decided on her meal. “Why collect something you can’t drink?” She asked, putting the menu down and sitting back, regarding him curiously. 

“Would you like to discuss your safe word before we begin?” Aro asked in reply, smiling in anticipation of the blush that graced Bella’s face a few seconds later. She glared at him before she looked away, looking to find her empty wine glass incredibly fascinating. 

“Phoenix,” she decided. 

“An interesting choice,” Aro commented. Bella shot him a look that said well? “I have many collections, wine is merely one of them. I enjoy owning things that are desirable.” 

“Materialistic, got it,” Bella murmured. Aro didn’t look at all displeased by her assessment. 

“What is it about gifts and money that makes you so uncomfortable?” 

“That’s two questions,” Bella stated, shifting in her seat. Aro returned the look she had given him, prompting an alternative response. “I…don’t like to owe people. Gifts, money. It’s transactional, nobody gives without wanting something in return. The more expensive something is, the bigger the expectation. There’s a lot that I can’t, or I guess won’t , give in return.” Bella shrugged, trying to downplay her feelings on the matter. “It disappoints people, they get overly emotional, or they pretend to reassure you and you have to pretend you’re reassured. It’s unnecessary and embarrassing.” 

“I would like to ask another question,” Aro stated, and raised his hands in surrender when Bella shot him a displeased look. “You will be entitled to ask the next three, I assure you.” Bella shrugged and then huffed when he continued to wait for an answer. 

“Okay,” she agreed. 

“Have you ever received what you believe to be an unconditional gift?

“I don’t think so,” Bella replied. “I mean, I can’t remember much of my childhood but…” Bella trailed off, feeling a pressure build up in her gut, remembering the gifts Renee used to give her whenever she felt guilty, and the money Charlie would send her every year for her birthday. “I… suppose nothing I was given ever felt free, or all that genuine.” Bella smiled then, looking at Aro, knowing he probably had more he wanted to ask. “My turn,” she told him. 

“It is,” he agreed.

“Carlisle has a painting in his study,” Bella started, and without meaning to, asked all three of her questions at once. “Both in Forks and Ithaca. He said you had many created. Why? Doesn’t that sort of…expose you? What if a human got their hands on one?” The door opened after she finished, giving Aro time to think about his answers as Bella ordered Pasta all'Ortolana. Aro ordered a Mushroom Risotto, much to Bella’s bemusement. She supposed he had to order something for appearances’ sake but it was going to look odd when the waiter came to collect their dishes, discovering he hadn’t touched his food. 

“For a long time, it was a custom to have portraits created, usually at grand social gatherings to commemorate the event,” Aro told her once they were alone again. “I believe humans do this with selfies nowadays.” Bella snorted but nodded her head in agreement. “There are less than one hundred in existence, a few of which I have gifted to Carlisle and other trusted friends over time, the rest are within my vault. It is unlikely that one would come into human possession. Those that retain my paintings know of their importance; that they are testaments of their loyalty to me, and to my knowledge, none have been left behind, damaged, or destroyed.” B ella thought his acknowledgement of such gifts rather proved her point on the transactional nature of them, but kept it to herself. “Do you like art?” 

“I guess,” Bella said, unsure. “I like looking at art. I enjoy going to galleries but I’ve not collected anything before. I’ve never felt the desire to own a painting or sculpture,” she explained, and shrugged again, emphasizing her apathetic disinterest. “Um…” Bella took another sip of her wine, twitched her nose and then remembered a question from her list. It would have been easier to simply take her cell out and bring up the list but Bella thought that might be rude to do while dining. “What do you do in Court all day?” Aro inclined his head with a smile, almost as if he had anticipated the question and was pleased Bella had asked. 

“Wait, for the most part,” he replied, crossing one leg over the other and linking his fingers. It was an oddly human position and it bemused Bella; she looked him up and down quizzically but remained silent, wanting him to continue. “Reports come in from time to time, updating us on the movements of other covens, and of course, of any unlawful behavior. Occasionally we will receive a visitor.” Bella thought it sounded rather boring, sitting around waiting for informants to come forward. She opened her mouth to ask another question but caught herself, remembering it wasn’t her turn. 

“Go ahead,” Aro allowed. 

“Don’t you get bored?” 

“Some years do, indeed, feel longer than others,” he said. Bella wasn’t convinced she would manage to wrap her head around the way time moved differently for him, not while she was still human. Sure, she could appreciate long years, she’d had a few of them herself…or, well , maybe a lot, but Aro spoke of them like they were mere hours passing. “Perhaps you might be amenable to joining me for a day, I would enjoy your company.” Bella gripped her wine glass, unsure how to feel about his proposition. It made her feel nervous but in a good way, a way she probably shouldn’t.

“Is that a question?” 

“An invitation,” Aro reassured. 

“Wait, did that count as a question?” Bella asked, her wariness forgotten, replaced with indignant disappointment. “Don’t answer that,” she added, releasing her wine glass in frustration and huffing. Aro chuckled quietly to himself, not bothering to hide his amusement at her antics this time. 

“Your question need not count, it was not in the nature of our…conversation,” he smiled. 

“You mean game,” Bella replied but smiled nevertheless, pleased that she was not going to be subjected to two inquiries in a row. Aro didn’t agree or disagree but the look in his eyes told Bella she was right. “Your question,” she prompted, all too aware that her palms had started to sweat. 

“What is it that you like to do for fun?” 

“Uh,” Bella mumbled unintelligently and huffed at herself. “Read, mostly. Box.” 

“Box?” Aro repeated, clearly intrigued.

“Yeah,” Bella replied, albeit a little defensively. “I started training two years ago. My… friend CJ owns a gym in New Jersey, he’s an amazing coach.” 

“What about it do you enjoy?” 

“It’s my question,” Bella pointed out and then decided to throw his own question back at him. It wasn’t on her list but she could admit she was still interested, Aro was a strange man and an even stranger vampire, it was impossible to not want to figure him out. “What do you do for fun?” 

“Uh,” he mumbled, drawing out his pause on purpose, his eyes sparkling in amusement. Bella’s deadpan expression told him what she thought of his playful mocking of her, not that it dissuaded Aro any. “Read, mostly,” he repeated. 

“You’re hilarious,” Bella muttered and sat back, crossing her ankles and holding her wine close to her chest. “Truly a comic.” 

“Apologies, Isabella,” Aro smiled. 

“You shouldn’t apologize unless you mean it,” she sniffed. “It’s insincere.” 

“Sagacious advice,” Aro hummed, his smile replaced by a look of serene interest, as though he was content to simply observe her for a while. Bella found it more unnerving than his usual intensity, it elicited less vulnerability and more of a dry mouth. She cleared her throat, it didn’t help. 

“You…” Bella started, yearning for the return of her menu so she might hide behind it. Aro slowly smirked. Bella was well aware he knew the effect he had on her, and it only made her want to hide more. 

“I?” 

“-didn’t answer my question.” 

“Did I not?” Bella shot him a rather vexed look, disapproving of his stalling tactics. Why was the pasta taking so long? “I would apologize but alas, you are correct that it would be insincere. You look most… agreeable when provoked.” Bella, having read various Jane Austen novels, felt the meaning behind agreeable hit her like a freight train. 

“Hobbies,” she demanded, barricading her resolve against his unanticipated compliment. “Otherwise I’m going to deduct five questions for stalling.” Aro laughed, only sobering up enough to grin mischievously when Bella added, “And another five if the next thing you say is something in Italian.” 

“Dancing,” he finally answered, “and I suppose you might call them puzzles. I find myself unpicking events yet to come, some of which might never come about at all.” Bella mentally added ‘strategist’ to her list of discoveries. She was relieved when the door opened, giving her a few minutes to calm down while their food was served. Aro was polite and thanked their waiter in English, eyeing Bella the entire time, looking infuriatingly smug. Bella wanted to wipe the smile off his face but she wasn’t entirely sure how to do it, so instead she focused on her food and made a point of ignoring him. They sat in silence for a few minutes once they were alone again. Bella pretended he wasn’t watching her eat but the charged space between and around them eventually became too much and she felt compelled to look up. “What about boxing do you enjoy?” Bella eyed him for a few seconds, wary in case he decided to derail their game again. There was no physical evidence that he would, so she forcefully relaxed her posture. 

“Got a little tired of falling over all the time,” she said, smiling wryly. “It helps my stamina,” she told him, “and balance. I feel...stronger. Less like a gust of wind is going to take me out.” 

“Weakness troubles you,” Aro surmised. Bella wasn’t sure if she should agree, she had always thought weakness was subjective, but she supposed in the spirit of being honest, her own weaknesses bothered her immensely. 

“Only my own.” And then she asked, “Why do I have a…a Heidi?” Because it was on her list, and because she didn’t want to discuss her other vulnerabilities in any depth. As soon as the question was out of her mouth, however, she realized that she would have to tread very carefully with this inquiry. She worried for Heidi’s wellbeing and what repercussions could befall her if Bella made it out like she was unhappy with the vampire’s service. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s really nice and helpful, and I like her, but I…” Bella paused, unsure how to phrase her concern . She wanted to say she didn’t need Heidi but, as the days passed, it was becoming clearer that she did. “She’s… I’m…” 

“Heidi is merely a utility to help you settle in,” Aro said, somehow managing to comprehend Bella’s struggle but also failing to see how referring to Heidi as a utility only increased Bella’s worry. “Once you are more familiar with the palace , she will not be required to chaperone you. I believe what you are referring to is her eagerness to please you.”

“It’s- I’m just not used to it,” Bella reluctantly confirmed. “She hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s just…being helped isn’t very me .” 

“What is that you would prefer?” He asked, and Bella sat motionlessly as she thought about her answer. It was futile to ask for no assistance at all; Bella was to live as a human in the Palazzo for nearly a month and she was sure she would continue to need Heidi during that time. She supposed there was only one thing she really could ask for. 

“Reassurance.” Aro waited for her to explain. “That she won’t get in trouble if I refuse her.” Aro regarded her with a contemplative expression, seeming to take her words seriously. Bella wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. 

“You are correct in your understanding that Heidi has been asked to serve you,” Aro told her. “However, I believe that this is a fitting precedent of why it is so greatly important for us to get to know one another better. The Guard is not above being disciplined, that is true, but not one of them is punished without consideration. If you were to dismiss Heidi yourself, she would still be following my orders.” Bella was relieved, more than she was embarrassed by making more assumptions, and it visibly showed on her face. She hadn’t appreciated just how much the thought of it had stressed her out. It was as if a weight had been lifted. “I do believe I have it on good authority that Heidi likes you also,” Aro added, making Bella smile. 

“It’s your turn,” Bella said softly, resuming her meal. 

The two of them kept their remaining questions on simpler subjects such as favorite colors and musical tastes. Bella enjoyed the ballet, though she could admit, at least to herself, that dinner was more engaging. Aro was much more captivating, even when he was smug and irritating . It was thoughts like these that kept Bella lying awake in bed as midnight passed, bringing with them a headache she could have done without. He was kind to her, attentive. But Bella wasn’t sure if it was genuine, she feared that he was humoring her out of boredom or a need to know what he was denied access to. And what did it matter if that was his motivation? Bella was only there to be changed, if he wanted to use her, to an extent, then that was his prerogative. Transactional. But there it was again, the disappointment that he might be less than what he’d so far shown himself to be. It was infuriating and made her want to glare. She liked him, that was fine. She liked Heidi too, there was nothing for her to get this twisted up over. Perhaps, one day, he would regard her in much the same way he did Carlisle, she might even have a painting of her own to take care of as proof of her loyalty. That would be okay with her, she told herself. So, why then do you want there to be more? Bella rolled over onto her side and kicked the duvet and blankets from her feet; much too warm to need them. 

This is silly , she told herself. 

I do not want anything else from him. I want to be a vampire, that’s it. 

Bella got up and went to the bathroom, pulling her pyjamas off as she walked, and sat on the side of the bath as she waited for it to fill with cold water. It would be harsher than a cold shower, she knew, but it was necessary. Why did he kiss her hand before he said goodnight? Why did he have to look at her like that? Why couldn’t she stop picturing the way his skin had shimmered in the sunlight or the smoothness of it under her fingers? She screwed her face up and rubbed her eyes in frustration. 

Congratulations, Bella. You’ve been here less than a week and you’ve already gotten attached. That’s a new low, even for you. 

Why was she doing this to herself? Was she really that much of a masochistic? There was a very real possibility that he was using her and she was so fucking stupid to think she would be fine to let him. Why? Was she desperate? Had she simply gone too long without sex that the vaugest - not so vague, though, is it? - attention had her flustered? Maybe she just needed to fuck some random, human, Italian to get it out of her system. Then she’d see Aro’s polite, albeit keen, interest for what it was, and could stop humiliating herself every time he looked at her. Bella’s feet, now submerged in the cold rising water, stung. It was a rather excessive method of sobering up her body but Bella knew she wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon without purging the desire to touch herself. It wasn’t happening, not in a palace full of super-hearing vampires, and definitely not over him. 

Four days. You’ve been here for four days. Get a grip. 

Bella pushed herself off the edge of the bath, scarcely holding in a shriek as the water splashed up her legs, and after silently counting down from ten, she lowered herself. With a clenched jaw and shaky breaths, she sat until her body had gotten over the shock, the hairs on her arms standing to attention. It wasn’t great, but Bella could tolerate it. It certainly had the desired effect and that, in Bella’s opinion, made it worth it. That was until it rose high enough to touch her nipples and her resolve crumbled; she shot out of the bath, turned off the tap and escaped back to her bedroom to find a bathrobe, using her discarded pyjamas to cover herself in an attempt to warm up her sensitive extremities. New plan , she told herself, grabbing the diary Heidi had brought her the night before and climbing back into bed. She would distract herself instead.

And so, ignoring Aro’s dedication, Bella began reading History of Literature. 

Chapter Text

Due to the unforeseen arrival of Visitors , Bella didn’t see Aro at all over the next two days. 

At first when she heard, she was relieved. It was far easier to ignore her attraction to her future King without him around, after all, but by lunchtime, she felt restless and History of Literature was far too dull to hold any of her attention. When Heidi returned to collect her dishes, Bella asked to be escorted back to the balcony garden so that she could check on her Hellebore. If Heidi knew the reason behind Bella’s now despondent mood, she didn’t show it. The sky was overcast and there was a breeze Bella found objectionable but her plant remained unchanged from the day before, still potted where she’d chosen, and it pleased her to see it. She watered it and patted at the surrounding soil before she spent a few minutes simply appreciating it. Was Nancy still looking after her plant? Bella hoped so. A hollow ache eased its way from her stomach to her chest as she tried not to wonder much else. Thinking about the people she’d left behind hurt in a way Bella couldn’t begin to comprehend let alone describe, and today it left her feeling displaced. 

Not having much else to do besides maybe wallow, Bella stood up and turned to leave, knowing Heidi was still waiting for her by the door. It was only then that she noticed Jane who was standing perfectly still in the corner, watching her. The blonde child looked far less ominous without her black cloak and stoic mask of indifference. Jane looked curious, as though Bella were an enigma she couldn’t begin to understand. This emotive expression paired with her white shirt and green pinafore made Bella think she looked downright gentle . 

“Hellebore are poisonous,” Jane said, her tone not quite as indifferent as Bella had come to expect it. “You should wear gloves when tending to it. Human skin is easily irritated.” 

“I didn’t know,” Bella admitted after a few long seconds of silence, unsure of what else she could say, the smudges of soil still on her hands. “About it being poisonous,” she added. “Thanks.” Jane showed no indication of a response, she simply continued to stand observing, so Bella said goodbye and left her to it. As far as first conversations went, it wasn’t the worst one she had ever had.

Heidi and Bella decided to go shopping together after that. They had to stay close to the Palazzo in case Heidi’s presence was required by the Kings but it barely impacted their trip. Heidi, of course, knew where all the immediate stores were and Bella felt warmer, putting it down to the overall lack of time spent outside due to the streets being so close together. 

“What do you think?” Heidi asked, looking every bit a deity among mortals as she stood in the bespoke chic convenience store, thrusting a scented candle under Bella’s nose. Bella, taking a moment to comprehend what was happening, lowered the candle ever so slightly lest she inhale it. Floral. It was nice enough but it was intense and Bella was aptly reminded of laundry detergent. She made a face, making Heidi laugh quietly. “I’ll take that as a no.” 

“I like… subtler ones,” Bella explained, turning to look at the rest of the candles, discovering there were only six different scents to choose from. The testers sat unboxed at the front of the shelf while the purchasable items were stacked behind in brown paper packages. “I like Jasmine or Honey. Sometimes Rose if it’s done right. I had a LemonGrass and Sage one back home, it was nice.” 

“Perhaps this one,” Heidi suggested, humming while she selected another for Bella to smell. 

“Mm, yeah,” Bella said and looked at the hand written card to see what it was. Coconut and Sandalwood. 

“Wonderful,” Heidi said and grinned, putting it in her metal wire basket. “What about bath salts?” 

“Uh-” 

“You could have a spa evening. Wouldn’t that be lovely?” Heidi sounded so excited on Bella’s behalf that she didn’t have it in her to refuse so they perused for bath products and discussed more of her preferences . 

Bella made sure to buy feminine products too while she was there, resigned to the fact that her body would continue to function normally for the rest of the month. If she’d been smarter, she’d have asked Aro for time to think before giving him till the 30th, and then wisely chosen a date before her next period was expected to start. Bella’s thoughts inevitably led into wondering what it was like for vampires when they were around menstruating humans. She decided to ask Heidi, to reassure herself if anything. 

“I suppose it might bother a newborn if they are unaccustomed. The scent is not a desirable one and so they might react with more theatrics ,” Heidi replied after waiting for another customer to move away, giving them privacy, “but when you’ve lived as long as I have, and the majority of the Guard, it’s hardly noticeable. It’s simply just another smell that comes with humans.” Bella wasn’t thrilled that it was going to be so noticeable but she supposed it did reassure her a little, at least she wasn’t going to be accidentally killed. “I wouldn’t worry, Bella. The Palazzo has employed humans for centuries, we are not so unrestrained.” 

“You make it sound so easy,” Bella murmured, picking up a bar of wrapped lavender soap to inspect as she spoke. 

“Not easy,” Heidi disagreed. “But not as difficult as it must be for Doctor Cullen’s Coven.” Bella was surprised by her saying so, given that the Cullens subjected themselves to classrooms full of human teenagers on a regular basis; a situation Bella knew she would barely be able to tolerate now that she was 23. 

“Edward said blood was like an addiction. I didn’t expect any of you to be so tolerable of me.” 

“I suppose it is addictive in a way,” Heidi said, “I cannot speak for others but to me it’s only addictive in the same way that humans need food and water to survive. If you were to deprive yourself, your body would crave it. When you are a newborn, you cannot function on simple rations. And as for tolerating you ,” she paused to smirk, “I ensure I am always full when we spend time together.” Bella was left feeling amazed and unexpectedly hopeful by Heidi’s response. Why hadn’t she thought to ask before? She knew, realistically, that she was going to have to sit down soon and think hard about which diet she was going to follow. Her morals dictated that animal blood was the only real choice but it made sense to get more than just Edward’s perspective, didn’t it? It wasn’t that she liked Heidi’s, the thought of drinking human blood made her stomach queasy, but she wouldn’t be drinking it as a human. It would be different when she wanted it, wouldn’t it? 

“Have you ever asked the others what it’s like?” Bella asked. 

“Not asked but some of the Guard are especially vocal,” Heidi said with a fond look. Bella wasn’t sure whether she meant vocal about their perspective or if she was implying they were vocal-eaters. The latter made her grimace involuntarily. Heidi looked slightly apologetic, as if she’d just remembered Bella might find it distasteful. 

“Do you think they’d mind if I asked? I mean I have to make a decision before I’m changed, right? It’d be good to get a census. Like a survey.” Heidi grinned. 

“I doubt anyone would mind, no,” she replied. “It would be a good way for you to meet the others too. Felix has been dying to ask you about your history with the Cullens. As you can imagine, it’s quite unusual for a vampire to date a human.” Bella scoffed. 

“I suppose for you guys it would be,” she said and put the soap back. “Just a matter of perspective though, right? I doubt you’d meet another vampire and wonder what their blood tasted like when they were human.” Heidi tilted her head. “Everyone has the ability to make conditions. I like steak but I don’t have any desire to go out and eat a dog.” 

“I never thought about it like that,” Heidi hummed. “Would you like me to arrange some time next week for you to meet other members of the Guard?” Bella nodded that she would and they moved onto the next aisle, finding themselves between racks of confectionery. “Ooh. Tell me about chocolate.” 

The rest of Bella’s day dragged on once she returned to her apartment. Time passed slowly, irritating her so much that she decided to try on clothes just for something to do. After dinner, she even attempted to write but it was no use; she was feeling cold and frustrated, and too overwhelmed to motivate herself. Sitting up against the headboard on her bed, thoughts from the previous evening were creeping in like an invitation, trying to convince her to dismiss her rationality. It wouldn’t be so wrong to entertain them, would it? It would feel good. It might even help her sleep better. It’s not like they’d know who she was thinking about. 

Bella swiftly abandoned her bedroom. She paced for a while in the living room, like a caged animal. Then she contemplated calling Alice to chat but what would she even say? I’m still alive, will be till the 30th. Got some new clothes. It all sounded so trivial, so pointless. Bella sighed loudly, hating the silence that swallowed it, and draped herself across an armchair. It’s not like she could fuck him anyway, she told herself, what with him being a vampire that not only, one - could kill her, and two - felt like a fucking statue. What did vampires even feel like to each other? You could wait. What’s a month? She needed professional help; a really good therapist or at least someone to switch her brain off for a while. 

The following morning saw no improvement to Bella’s mood; she did try to put on a smile for Heidi after she’d caught a look of concern but it didn’t help. She finished reading History of Literature after breakfast and listened to some music, skipping anything remotely sorrowful or romantic in nature, while practising signatures for her alias. 

In the afternoon, she managed to find the library on her own. It was a very small, personal, victory but Bella was proud of herself nonetheless. It was still a beautiful building to wander around and she emphatically told herself that the experience wasn’t lacking without him . She found no more English books than she had on her first visit but spent longer looking at the art, frequently returning to Adoration of the Shepherds, Aro’s words returning to her thoughts on rotation. A bond between a sire and a siree is an intimate one. It was on her fourth observation that she realized that there must, surely, be other vampires that Aro had changed. If she could talk to another vampire that was sired by Aro, then she could ask them about the nature of their relationship; confirming to the hopeless voice in the back of her mind, naively begging for attention, that his attention towards her was normal. Would it be so bad if it wasn't? What was wrong with wanting to be desired in return? She would ask Heidi if there was anyone else.

Bella moved on from the nativity scene before her thoughts could stray any further. At first, she headed for the doors that would take her back through the Palazzo but then she stopped, knowing that her apartment offered little else to distract her from her thoughts. What would she do? Reread History of Literature? Take another bath? She would go crazy. And so, she turned and followed the shelves around until she found the alternative exit, the one that the tourists used. She stepped out into the overcast afternoon drizzle, uncertain if she was making the right decision but adamant that she wasn’t going to return to her room for at least a few hours. 

Her attire for the day was a pair of burgundy suit pants that brushed against her ankles when she walked and a black v-neck blouse with short lace sleeves. The blazer had felt too formal for walking around indoors but as Bella walked down the street, she regretted not, at least, carrying it. It wasn’t cold, per se, it was far warmer than it had been in both Forks and Ithaca, but it was raining the sort of rain that clung to your clothes. Scratch that , she thought as she headed up towards the Roman Theatre, it was fucking freezing . 

Bella managed just over twenty minutes of strolling aimlessly around before the cold became too much and she was forced to find warmer shelter in the nearest public establishment. It was good timing that she did too as the rain began to pour a few minutes later, polishing the cobblestone streets and constructing what would have once been a challenge for Bella’s coordination. The establishment , as it so happened, turned out to be a bar and Bella discovered this with pinched dissatisfaction, knowing she wouldn’t be permitted to stop long without some sort of purchase. Maybe if she rang the Palazzo, Valentina would bring her a jacket and her bag. The thought of the audacious receptionist having to venture out in the rain just to bring her something made Bella smirk. It would serve her right, she thought, but she didn’t do it, knowing proximity to Valentina was a sure way to ruin the rest of her own day too. 

“Mi scusi, signora” Bella heard from behind her, turning to see a man not much taller than herself trying to pass her while carrying a pint in each hand. His round face and pale blond hair reminded Bella so much of Mike that for a second she was alarmed by the sight of him, a flare of paranoia surfacing and then simmering just as quickly. He was much too old to be Mike, she told herself, and his glazed eyes were brown not blue. 

“Oh, sorry,” Bella apologized, stepping aside. 

“Americana!” He exclaimed, his whole face brightening as he moved by. “It’s raining cats and dogs out there, yes?” Bella put on a vaguely polite smile and nodded. “You look cold, come- come sit.” 

“No, it’s okay,” she refused, more out of habit than distrust. Then again, she reasoned, she would be able to stay without buying anything if it looked as though she were part of a group. Plus, this guy was already well on his way to being drunk and Bella felt certain she could take him if he tried anything untoward. When he insisted again, she accepted, following him though islands of occupied tables until he stopped at one beneath a  window, the sole occupant a pale woman with black hair cut into a descending bob. 

“Cosa ti ha fatto perdere così tanto tempo?” She asked, taking a pint from the blond man’s hand before he could reply or even more to sit down. 

“I met an American!” He declared loudly, gaining the attention of people on nearby tables. The woman looked Bella up and down before she smiled, only slightly more sober than her friend. 

“What do they call you?” She asked, her English clearer than the mans’. Bella was almost about to say ‘ Bella’ when, at the last second, she remembered why she had felt so paranoid seeing Older Mike. 

“Emily,” she lied, taking the seat opposite. 

“Yeah? Me too,” Emily - the real Emily , Bella came to know her as in the privacy of her own head - replied. “This is Simon, he drinks too much.” 

“I do not,” Drunk Simon replied indignantly, falling into the chair beside Bella, miraculously not spilling his drink. “Ah cazzo,” he huffed, “you don’t have a drink, Emily!” 

“You didn’t buy her a drink?” Real Emily asked, obviously displeased. 

“I… we just met- on the way back,” Simon defended. 

“Honestly, I don’t need one,” Bella assured, already wishing she could turn the volume down on her acquaintances. It had been just over two weeks since she’d spent any real time with other humans, not counting her road trip with Valentia, and yet Bella found she hadn’t really missed them. She missed her parents and she missed her friends, Angela and Nancy especially, but humans in comparison were just so loud and demanding of attention. It was a little overwhelming. 

“Il nonsenso!” Emily said, standing abruptly, knocking the table and spilling a bit of both her pint and Simons’. 

“Dai, Emily!” Simon cried. 

“ I’ll get you a drink, new Emily!” 

“Really, you don’t have to-” Bella started but Emily was off, staggering her way away from the table in the direction of, what Bella assumed was, the bar; passing the public entrance and disappearing around a corner. Bella watched Simon grab napkins from the table next to them, much to the glares of the people sitting there, to wipe up his spilled drink before he turned to her and smiled a toothy grin. 

“Wait till you- till you meet Leo. He’ll be here soon. Great guy. Great.” Bella tried not to look displeased but it was difficult for her; she was very quickly regretting the decision to entertain. She might have gotten lucky simply staying in the doorway until the rain passed, the bar, after all, was busy enough for no one to pay her much attention. Now, though, she was forced to stay put, her presence the only thing she had to repay the drink Emily was buying her. She would down whatever it was Emily brought her fast and then leave when their friend turned up, she decided. It would be a good transition, she would simply stand when he arrived, thank Emily for the drink, and say she was going; Leo could even have her seat. It was a good plan. Only Leo arrived a few minutes later and Real Emily was still absent. “Leo! È così bello vederti! Questa è Emily, è americana!” Bella looked up at the new addition to their table, ready to force a smile, trying to remember anecdotes of small talk, and was surprised by her own double-take reaction. He was… not as attractive as a vampire but for a human, well, Bella couldn’t fault his looks at all. He looked younger than Simon and was taller too, broad, with curly brown hair and light green eyes. He had dimples, she noticed, as soon as he smiled at her. 

“Ciao, Emily.”

“Hi,” Bella replied. It wasn’t such a chore to smile after all. 

“Dov'è Emma?” He asked Simon who replied in Italian as Leo sat down, taking the seat beside Real Emilys’. 

“Bevanda! Le dirò di portarti una birra,” Simon then said and stood up, quickly leaving the table. Bella could only watch him and stare, bemused and slightly frustrated. Maybe she should start learning Italian early. Given she was to spend the rest of the month human, it would probably come of use. Especially if she were to entertain her thoughts from Friday night, she could definitely do without a language barrier if she wanted to start something casual. That, her thoughts supplied, and she would be able to understand what Aro said to her. What was his go-to? Cara Mia? 

“Are you okay?” Leo asked. Bella looked at him in confusion and nodded. “You, uh, just look sad is all. Are you cold?” 

“Oh,” Bella said and tried her best to smile again, hoping it was enough to reassure. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Then added, “I, uh, left my jacket at home.” 

“You live nearby?” 

“No,” Bella said and then floundered as she tried to think of a lie on the spot. “I meant hotel. I’m just visiting… the area.” 

“Oh,” he said, and the two of them lapsed into an awkward silence, violently reminding Bella of one of the main reasons she hadn’t entertained dating since Jake; she was bad at it. “How do you know Simon?” 

“I don’t, we just met a few minutes ago,” Bella said, hating that she didn’t have more to tell him. “He sort of saved me from sitting alone.” 

“That sounds like Simon,” Leo smiled, “making friends wherever he goes.” 

“What about you? How did you meet him?” 

“We met at an art class a few years ago,” Leo said. “I was nervous, he was kind and did all of the talking.” Bella could appreciate that, the overly helpful and talkative extraverts had helped her quickly settle in when she first started working at Frays . It was Nancy’s confidence that brought about their friendship too. 

“What sort of art do you do?” She asked; it seemed like a polite thing to say. 

“I used to paint but I don’t do it much anymore. Not enough time,” he replied, “I have two daughters, very small. They’re a handful, still need every second of my day.” The way he smiled so adoringly as he spoke about his children made him both more handsome and yet wholly undesirable in Bella’s eyes. It was nice, he was nice , but Bella could only, at a push, empathize. Like every human she had ever met, he was content in a simple life and she doubted anything he said thereafter would excite her in any way at all. It was for the best, she told herself, the thought of having to spend more time making awkward small talk was just as unappealing as hearing about children. He was probably married too. 

“I can imagine,” was her reply. 

“Do you have children?” 

“No,” Bella said, shaking her head. Leo laughed. 

“Too young,” he said, as if he’d only just noticed she was younger than himself by at least five or six years. 

“Just not for me,” Bella corrected. 

“Ah,” he said, smiling to himself. Bella recognized the look, it was the one her Mom used to wear when Bella said as a teenager that she didn’t want marriage or babies. A look that said ‘we’ll see’ and ‘you say that now. ’ It bristled her. Why were people so quick to assume they knew her better? It was incredibly irritating. “How long are you in town?” He asked, oblivious to her newfound urge to flip him off. Bella almost huffed. 

“Just a few weeks,” she replied.

“What brings you?” 

“I faked my death and needed a favor from one of your locals,” Bella told him with a mischievous smile, making him smile in return, though his was more bemused than humored. “Just work,” Bella added, a simple lie. “Networking.” He seemed convinced enough by this and the both of them were fortunately spared having to talk more by the return of Simon and Real Emily. The drunk members of their table talked enough for all of them and Bella, feeling very fortunate indeed, managed to leave after one drink like she’d planned. In fact, they all decided to. 

The rain was still heavy, forcing them to run through the streets, stopping in doorways and under any cover they could find; Emily and Simon shrieking as they went. When they reached the Palazzo, Bella shouted her departure from them but not before Simon draped his jacket over her shoulders. 

“See you, Americana!” He called, running off, ignoring Bella’s calls for him to take it back. She checked the pockets after he disappeared from sight, making sure they were empty before she pulled it up over her head and headed around the side of the Palazzo. She was absolutely not in the mood to chase after him. 

Bella was shivering when she reached the reception hall to Court ten minutes later, Simon’s jacket wrapped around her, water dripping down from her hair onto her pale cheeks. The doors to the Courtroom were closed, bringing her to a complete stop, and only then did she remember that the Volturi had visitors. Bella frowned, doubting Aro or the other Kings wanted to be interrupted, especially not when all Bella wanted to do was pass through the hall. That and Bella figured walking into a room with unknown vampires, presumably ones that drank human blood, was a bad idea; even if most of the red-eyed vampires she had met in Volterra were so well controlled. She turned and was heading back towards the elevator when she heard the door open. 

“Bella,” Heidi called once the door was closed behind her, prompting Bella to look back. Heidi looked as phenomenal as usual, and was wearing a vibrant red gown that matched her, now clearly worried, eyes. Bella knew she must look ill in comparison. “You’re shivering,” Heidi pointed out, as though it were a cause for alarm. 

“It’s raining,” Bella replied dumbly, watching Heidi survey her soaked through attire with unfounded concern. Cold, wet, and tired; Bella was beginning to feel hypersensitive. Why did everyone look at her like that? She wasn’t fragile, for fuck’s sake.   

“Who’s coat is that?” Heidi asked, her expression morphing into something more pinched. It reminded Bella of Renee when she was trying, and failing, to appear indifferent. It was… odd . Bella looked down at herself.  

“Oh, uh, Simon’s,” she said. “I’m assuming he doesn’t want it back.” Heidi’s indifference turned to something more troubled, akin to disapproval mixed with worry and a little bit of fear. Bella, now a little worried herself, frowned and felt like she ought to explain herself. “I was just getting out of the rain, he bought me a drink. At a bar. Well, he didn’t… his friend Emily did.” She felt idiotic after she stopped, and then indignant. Why should she have to explain herself? Why was Heidi acting so strange? Bella was allowed to wear whatever the hell she wanted when she wasn’t hanging around the Palazzo so what did it matter? 

“Of course,” Heidi smiled, albeit tightly. Bella shot her a look that spoke of how unconvinced by it she was. “Let’s get you to your rooms and into some dry clothes.” Bella watched the vampire walk by her, and followed her to the elevator afterwards, feeling rather chastened though she wasn’t sure why. Heidi stood by her silently as they made their way up and out of the Palazzo, and whisked Bella quickly around to the Gallery so that they could travel the rest of the way to Bella’s apartment, unseen by anyone else. As soon as they arrived, Bella kicked off her wet kitten heels and peeled off the coat, taking them with her to the bathroom so that she could discard them on the tiles. Heidi started filling the bath and went to the wardrobe to retrieve clean towels and dry pyjamas for Bella to put on afterwards, obviously still plagued by something . Bella took one of the towels and rubbed the rain water from her face. “Did you enjoy your afternoon?” Heidi asked.

“It was okay,” Bella replied warily. 

“I wasn’t aware you were going out,” Heidi said. 

“I didn’t realize I had to let you know.” 

“No, not at all,” Heidi hastily reassured. Bella, refusing to walk on eggshells, especially not around Heidi who she spent most of her time with, decided a direct approach was better. 

“Heidi, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing is wrong,” Heidi replied but the way she said it only vexed Bella more. 

“Bullshit. You’re being weird. If I’ve done something wrong, you could at least tell me.” 

“Bella…” Heidi said and then frowned, seeing the determination in Bella’s face. “It’s not my place. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-” 

“Don’t do that,” Bella said irritably, effectively silencing Heidi. “We’re friends right? Or, well, at least I’d like us to be. You can be honest with me. Trust me, I’m a big girl. I can take it.” Heidi looked torn between guilt and wanting to look fondly at Bella. 

“It’s not my place,” she repeated. It took Bella a minute to comprehend the meaning of her words. Heidi had been honest with her thus far, the only thing that would silence her now were her Masters. 

“Orders,” she surmised. Aro’s orders, probably. Bella didn’t bother to hide her irritation at the fact, tired with men and their secrets, thinking they know what’s in her best interest. “Okay,” she muttered, turning away in dismissal, resigned to the fact that she wasn’t going to get any answers unless she asked Aro herself and given her desire to avoid him - liar - it was likely she wouldn’t find out at all. 

“You smell,” Heidi said. Bella turned back to her, bemused by the sudden insult.

“You’re… what? Disappointed? Because I smell?”

“You smell very strongly of… Your friend’s jacket.” Heidi was trying to give her a hint. Would she get wrong? Bella supposed the damage had already been done if it were the case, and so her nose scrunched up as she thought. Heidi was acting weird because Bella smelled strongly of Simon’s jacket. What did that matter? It wasn’t like she was going to wear it again, if it smelled bad then Heidi could destroy it for all Bella cared. Was it the smell of beer? Bella couldn't recall it smelling strongly of anything so she went back to the offending jacket and picked it up off the floor to smell it. 

“I don’t understand,” she admitted, looking as confused as she felt. “What’s wrong with it?” Heidi merely looked apologetic, unable to say more. “Okay, whatever,” Bella said, clearly not pleased with the information being withheld. “Forget it,” she muttered, dropping the coat again and walking towards the bath. She was cold and the steam rising from the bath was far more inviting than trying to puzzle out Heidi’s mysterious mood. 

“I’ll come back to collect your clothes,” Heidi said before she left, stopping to collect Simon’s jacket on her way out. Bella shook her head in tired disbelief. Whatever , she thought bitterly, refusing to stress about it any further until she was warm and dry. Stupid vampires and their stupid secrets . 

Chapter Text

She moaned, back arching, her pleasure laced with a hint of desperation; hands threaded through hair, gripping and pulling, impatient. His lips were on her throat, fingers between her thighs. It was everything she wanted, needed, craved- and yet she still felt empty, untethered, afraid she might just float away. There was no shame in begging so she did, his name seeping through resolve, dripping from her lips, honey and wine. Please- please. I need- her hips lifted, arms wrapped around his neck, a refusal to let him go. His voice was in her ears, her head, her blood- so close, so close, but not enough- no honesty in his tone, his breath cold; eyes hidden beneath her hair. She held on, stubborn as she was bare, meeting his steady pace with unfathomable thirst. I could hurt you, he warned- dangerous, perverse. So hurt me, she growled, a self-declared masochist. 

Bella slowly came to, her body aching, longing to be touched. The dream, the outcome of her dream, was so profoundly engraved in her memory that for the first few minutes of consciousness, all she could do was lie still, looking up into the dark room through half-lidded eyes, trying to process the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the racing of her heart while she came back to life. Oh my God. That was incredible, she thought, and then a  minute later, Oh no. 

“Oh my God,” she said, falling back unintentionally on the phrase she often tried not to say. Bolting upright, she pulled the duvet up to her chest if it could very well protect her. Then the reality of her situation dawned and Bella pushed it away, as though it were the indiscretion burning her skin, and jumped out of bed. “Oh my God,” she said again, fleeing from her bedroom, beelining to her bathroom and turning the tap as far as it would go before stripping out of her pyjamas. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Bella pulled at her hair as she sat cross-legged in the center of the bath, thoroughly mortified by the fact that she’d had an erotic dream in the middle of a palace full of vampires - vampires who could not only smell the results, she feared, but had probably gotten an earful given her inability to shut the fuck up when she was asleep. She was never going to be able to show her face again, she told herself, pressing fists into her eyes until she saw white. Please, Universe, let the entire coven have been called away on business. Give me this and I’ll never ask for anything else ever again. 

It took an hour of wallowing in the bath before Bella calmed down enough to face her morning with a semblance of maturity. She told herself that, in her defence, she’d been asleep so she wasn’t accountable for her bodily reactions. Then she coached herself through an internal lecture on how it was an invasion of her privacy if anyone said anything at all. By the time Heidi arrived with her breakfast, Bella felt so much conviction that she only barely avoided the woman’s eye contact. That was until Heidi brought up their conversation for the previous evening. Bella remembered then that she had fallen asleep angry, unable to stop pondering all the secrets that were being kept from her, and her musing had in turn given her a few things to regret. Heidi’s concession was effective in making Bella forget she’d dreamed anything at all. Bella understood that everyone had the right to their privacy, she certainly felt entitled to her own, but she also felt like it was her business to know anything that pertained to her.

“I wanted to apologize, Bella,” Heidi said. “I behaved poorly last night. I shouldn’t have inferred anything at all. It’s really none of my business.” Bella snorted humorlessly. For a long minute, she wanted to be petty and throw Heidi’s words back at her, mimic them even, make it clear what Heidi was really trying to say. But she was an adult and she would not humiliate herself more thans he already had. Plus, she had already scripted what it was she was going to say, so instead she levelled the vampire with a severe look that spoke of her seriousness. 

“This is your home, Heidi, and you’re entitled to your secrets,” she stated. Her tone was slightly more irritable than she’d rehearsed in her head but her words were still honest. “Your lives are really none of my business, I get that, it’s cool. I won’t be here that long anyway and I know sharing stuff with me will make me a liability when I leave.” 

“Bella-” 

“Please let me finish,” Bella said, wanting to make her feelings perfectly clear. “It wasn’t right of me to bring up our kinda friendship last night. It was manipulative, you’ve been really kind to me and I shouldn’t have made it out like it was an ultimatum. But I need you to understand that I’ve been gaslighted a lot, especially by vampires. The word infer makes it sound like I was looking into something that wasn’t there and we both know that’s not true.” Heidi looked suitaly chastened. “If you want to be my friend, there are two very important things you need to know about me. One is that I hate being lied to, and the other, that I don’t forgive easily.” 

“I’m sorry, Bella, really I am,” Heidi said and frowned. “I worded my apology poorly. I didn’t mean to deceive you.” They regarded one another in silence while Bella processed.

“Okay,” she eventually replied, and then sighed wearily. “I accept your apology.” She smiled half-heartedly at Heidi, not the kind of person to pretend she was over something immediately. Instead, she turned and sauntered over to the table, thinking out loud. “Of course, none of this is going to bother me after the 30th anyway. I’m pretty sure the Cullens are banking on a clean slate,” she picked up her cutlery and then looked back over at Heidi, “but just… keep it in mind, yeah? Forever is a really long time to piss me off.” 

Breakfast was a quiet affair once Heidi left and Bella ate slowly, still anxious about her dream despite her own reassurances. It was while she forcefully distracted herself that she decided, rather impulsively, that she was going to explore the palace on her own today. She dressed quickly, opting for a comfortable blue t-shirt and jeans, paired with comfortable sneakers and her windbreaker that she left unzipped. When Heidi returned for her dishes, Bella made her plans known. 

“If you need help getting somewhere, I can come along,” Heidi said carefully. 

“That’s okay,” Bella refused. “It’ll be good for me to work out where I’m going on my own.” 

“Alright,” Heidi murmured, and then noticed Bella’s outfit. 

“I know,” Bella said before Heidi could point out that she was wearing the wrong attire for the Palace. “Don’t sweat it. If his majesty has a problem with it, he can come and tell me himself.” Heidi merely smiled. 

The first twenty minutes went badly. Bella was turned around so often that she began to feel overwhelmingly lost. It didn’t help that they were underground and the light was synthetic, making her feel claustrophobic for the first time since she’d arrived. Bella couldn’t believe she had been in Volterra for almost a week already. Part of her felt as though she’d only arrived yesterday while another, much fervent part of her felt as though she’d been there for months. It was almost as disorientating to think about as it was to comprehend the corridors she was walking along. There was something about spending time with vampires that made the days feel longer to Bella, and clearly something about vampires in general that triggered a faux codependence. Maybe she was looking at it all wrong, maybe she was gaslighting herself into believing she was attached when in reality, it was just another way to guarantee her immortality. Bella snorted to herself. She wished it was the latter. 

It was around ten minutes later when Bella was distracted from her thoughts by the sound of banging - though she decided banging wasn’t really the right word as she followed it. It sounded like rocks falling, bashing against one another as they fell. The noise led her to what at first appeared to be a dead end but then she noticed the open doorway on the left, the arched wooden door wedged deliberately to keep it from closing. The first thing Bella noticed when she stepped through was that she was at the top of a staircase, the second was that she’d stumbled upon a hall. It was massive and, for the most part, empty. The walls were made of dark stone slabs, the ceiling high and made of similar stone with a pattern etched into it that Bella could scarcely make out. The floor of the hall was stone too except that in the center, there was a large black space that looked to be some sort of metal sheet. It was this that the room’s occupants were standing on, barely illuminated by the lit sconce torches on the walls. The figures were standing a few feet apart, one was the boy Bella recognized from the battlefield in Forks, the other Demetri. Neither reacted to Bella’s presence, nor her observation. 

One second they were regarding one another, the next the boy was blurring around, flying at Demetri who dodged with ease, sometimes merely stepping out of the way at a pace Bella could make out perfectly. It was fascinating to watch given the general atmosphere of the room, and Bella smiled when the boy managed to knock Demetri off his feet. She gravitated into the room and leaned against the black metal railing fixed to the stairs. 

“Again,” she heard Demetri say once he was standing again. They were training, Bella surmised, wishing she were able to see the way they moved between each dodge or attack; only able to deduce who was winning from the brief instances when one of them was blocked or a hit landed. It looked as though they were dancing at times, and at others it was unbearably loud as their bodies collided. “You’re trying to show off,” Demetri called after knocking the boy onto his back. “Focus.” A small part of Bella felt alarmed watching as Demetri now struck back as though he meant to harm and not defend himself, the boy looked so young in comparison, the odds appearing unfair. The movement became faster, harder to follow, and Bella could feel the tension between the two vampires rise. Demetri flew farther when the boy landed a blow, and the boy collided harder with the metal flooring every time Demetri put him on his back. “Alec,” Demetri barked after knocking the boy down four times in a row. The boy, Alec, growled in response. And then something strange happened, something Bella couldn’t comprehend. One second Demetri was moving, a dark blur in the dimly lit hall, and the next he was perfectly still, unmoving. Alec got to his feet and approached slowly. Why wasn’t Demetri reacting? Bella leaned over the side, trying to see the situation better. 

“Alec,” a different voice said, this one from behind Bella, making her flinch. Alec’s head snapped towards Bella faster than Bella managed to turn around. Marcus looked back at her, his expression unreadable. Oh, shit. Bella straightened up, readying herself for some sort of telling off but his gaze then travelled past Bella as he stepped closer towards her, and Bella glanced back at Alec who looked just as apprehensive. A split second later, Demetri moved again, a scowl on his face directed at the child. 

“What have I told you…” Demetri said, and continued to lecture Alec, undecipherable to Bella as Marcus reclaimed her attention. 

“Perhaps a more convenient view would suit your observation better, Lady Isabella,” he said and inclined his head, gesturing for Bella to descend the stairs before him. Bella didn’t feel comfortable denying him, conscious that though his words were spoken softly, they may still be an order. She went first, careful not to trip as her mind reeled over the word Lady , and made space for him once she reached the bottom. From this angle, Bella saw that there were tables and chairs stacked up in a corner she hadn’t been able to see, and the metal sheet she thought covered the floor was actually built in. Demetri and Alec stood side by side, waiting for Bella and Marcus to get closer before they bowed. Bella glanced at the King, conscious that she hadn’t shown him the same subservience. “Alec is training to combat his opponents without the use of his gift, a necessary skill to have and one you will acutely benefit from in your life as a nomad.” Bella thought her voice might catch in her throat as she spoke but she managed well enough, saving herself from embarrassment. 

“Is that what stopped you just now? A gift?” Bella asked Demetri. 

“Yes,” Demetri replied in a tone Bella recognized, it was one she used often. It said ‘wasn’t it obvious? ’ 

“Lady Isabella is gifted similarly to Renata, only hers’ manifests within her mind,'' Marcus explained on Bella’s behalf. “I believe she is unable to see Alec's gift, let alone be impacted by it.” Alec looked distrubed at this and Bella wasn’t sure how to feel. “This is an appropriate lesson, exemplifying why learning to fight without your gift is necessary. Should you meet a shield in battle, you would be severely disserviced,” he told Alec. “Continue.” Marcus guided Bella over to the side of the room underneath the light and they watched in silence as Demetri and Alec resumed training. It took Bella ten incredibly long minutes to adjust to having the King by her side, heavily conscious that she was out of her depth and possibly in danger of being reprimanded, but after a half hour had passed; she found herself focusing more on the movements of Alec and Demetri than that of Marcus’ immobile presence. It was only slightly easier to see where one of them stopped and the other began as they shifted around the room, never leaving the black arena. She did notice a few things though, like the way Alec jumped before he attempted to strike Demetri and how this made it easier for Demetri to pin him down. When Bella first took up boxing, she made similarly compensated moves, unaware that she was giving her opponents the upper hand.

“Stop,” ordered a voice that had Bella inhaling sharply and turning her head towards the far end of the hall, only then noticing there was another door though it was now closed behind the very man Bella had been trying to forget all morning. Their eyes met only briefly as Bella averted her own, praying that her face remained unchanged. Demetri and Alec had done as they were told, standing side by side, awaiting Aro’s further instructions. “Isabella has something to say,” Aro added instead as he strode towards her, indifferent to the bows of his Guard. Bella felt her insides freeze, her heart rate increasing as she panicked in silence. What was he talking about? When she looked at him for some kind of help, pleading for him to stop messing with her, he merely smiled and gestured towards the now waiting vampires. “You noticed what Alec was doing wrong, did you not?” Oh . Alec focused his attention on her then, clearly displeased that his mistake was obvious enough for a human to see but unable to voice or display his frustration. Bella steeled herself, resigned to the fact that she was going to have to say something, her only reassurance was that Aro surely wouldn’t have put her on the spot if she was wrong. Right? Unless, of course, he wished to make an example of the both of them. 

“You’re… trying to match his height,” she said, clearly uncomfortable with having to give advice. The only experience she had with combat was limited, and boxing was vastly different to that of vampire warfare - watching Jasper train the Cullens had shown her as much. But if it was just her opinion Aro was after... “The time it takes for you to jump gives him the time to see it coming. It’s also easier to put you on your back,” she told the boy who now listened with acute interest. “Your height is not a disadvantage and planting your feet will make it harder to knock you over. If you aim lower, he has to take time to either look to see where you’re going to strike, or guess. Both give you a better foundation for being unpredictable. There’s always going to be people bigger than you. Your best move is to disable, then attack.” And then she added, in good humor, “I imagine it’d be harder for him to fight back without his legs.” Alec’s face took on a malicious look as he smiled to himself. 

“Continue,” Aro ordered after a beat. Bella watched them resume, nerves heightened as Aro moved to stand by her side. It was harder to ignore him than it was Marcus, even as time passed; Bella felt as though there was a current under her skin. Watching Alec change tactics pleased her, she felt useful - proud almost, but it didn’t hold her attention the way he did. She knew it was psychological that she found it harder to breathe with him around, knew it was desperation that had her wanting to reach for his hand. It was childish to give in to desire on a whim, and naive to do so with most, let alone a vampire. History had taught her that well enough. Ten more minutes passed and Bella felt as though she could pass out from the adrenaline coursing through her body, the butterflies painful in her stomach. She wanted to hate that he was there, knowing she had been enjoying herself before his arrival, but fuck had she missed him - and wasn’t that pathetic. “I think that perhaps we should leave Demetri and Alec to it. Alec is already improved, it will be gratifying to see how considerably at the end of the month.” Marcus made no reaction other than to turn and head towards the door, stopping briefly to touch hands with Aro before he was gone. Bella eyed them suspiciously and continued to do so once Marcus had left. 

Aro smiled, earning a troubled frown in return, and gestured for Bella to retake the stairs on their left. She moved on, sparing one last look at the blurs that were the Guard members before she ascended and followed the hallway. The only tells that Aro was following her were the sound of his suit trousers rustling and the way her back sweat. Bella paused when they came to the first instance where a direction needed to be chosen. She waited for Aro to pass her and take the lead and was dismayed when he didn’t, forcing her to turn around. To her bemusement, he looked thoughtful . 

“Many questions have arisen in our days apart,” he said, regarding her with a new apprehension of his own. “I believe it is time for us to discuss an especially important affair.” Bella’s heart rose into her throat within seconds as he stepped forward and took her hands in his own. “You continue to surprise me, Isabella. I had thought time away from me would distance your esteem.” Bella’s cheeks blazed, her fears confirmed. Esteem? It was with a mixture of alarm and dread that she blurted out a defence. 

“It was just a dream.” Aro was standing close enough for Bella to see his eyes dilate, his brows furrowed for a split second before a pleased expression took hold; his eyes darkening. 

“You dream about me?” Bella, realizing her mistake with a depth of horror she had never experienced before, covered her face with her hands. Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me now. “Isabella,” Aro said softly. How had her day come to this? Was this karma for being a bitch to Heidi? Because if so, Bella vowed she would never say a rude thing to the woman ever again. 

“Questions?” She asked, lowering her hand and backing away. “We’ll talk later, right? I should…go somewhere else.” Aro watched her, his thoughtful expression back, and Bella was briefly aware that she found his features easier to discern than she had the last time she saw him. He looked pensieve, but then it cleared and he smiled a smile to reassure. It was genuine too. 

“We will talk later,” he agreed. “Allow me to guide you back to your rooms.” Bella quickly nodded her consent, her mind screaming at her to get as far away from Aro as possible. She felt as though she could die from shame alone as she followed him, her only relief was that he walked in front so that she could hide her blood stained face. When the familiar door to her apartment came into view, Bella wanted nothing more than to run inside and claim much needed refuge but Aro stopped before the door and she was begrudgingly resigned to the fact that he was going to say something. “I would like to show you the palace vaults this afternoon, and then, if you are agreeable to it, I thought you might like to decide where our evening goes from there.” 

“Okay, yeah,” Bella nodded, knowing she would have agreed to anything if it meant he went away. “See you then, then.” 

“I shall return at six,” he said. Bella thought he sounded amused but she was so fixated on avoiding his eye contact that she couldn’t see if he was smiling. “Till then, Isabella ,” he said and then, as if he’d been privy to the way it had undone her last time, Aro took her hand and kissed it; his gaze magnetically drawing Bella’s eyes to his. Bella, who was paralyzed by shock, had no need nor time to squirm or pull away as he turned just as swiftly and walked away, leaving her to stare after him. Oh my God.

Chapter Text

Heidi was three minutes late. Bella noticed because she’d been sitting in the living room, looking between the door and her watch, waiting for the goddess of a woman whom she’d decided to forgive anything, if only she would arrive and put Bella out of her misery. I believe it is time for us to discuss an especially important affair. Four. You continue to surprise me, Isabella. I had thought time away from me would distance your esteem. Five. You dream about me? Six. The door opened. Bella shot up out of the chair, giving Heidi reason to pause in the doorway after witnessing her client acting so abnormally. 

“You’re late,” Bella said, her tone a cross between agitation and full blown panic. Before Heidi could apologize or even explain herself, she added, “I need your help.” 

“I am at your service, padrona ,” Heidi stated. She watched as the vampire then stepped into the room and closed the door, before setting the lunch tray she was carrying on the table. Anxiety was roaming Bella’s limbs, vagarious in its assault. She felt sick and flighty; and completely terrified of what Aro was going to say, and what she might have to say in response. After painfully recollecting her actions during the past week, she was both mortified and resigned to the fact that she had acted like a flustered moron in his presence. Something as simple as him touching her hand had set her heart racing, it was no wonder really that he knew. But was it esteem ? Affection? The thought of having more than just a physical attraction to him increased her inclination to run. But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, not now. Her presence in Volterra was nothing to do with him, not really. Bella was here for her future and she wasn’t leaving without it. “Bella?” She twisted around to see Heidi had moved and was now sitting in an armchair, waiting for her. 

She swallowed the edge off her anxiety and sat down in the armchair opposite but after a minute passed in complete silence, Bella too emotionally overwhelmed to speak, felt compelled to stand again. And then pace. She knew that anything she told Heidi would inevitably be passed along to Aro - possibly even before she saw the man again herself - but she was so far out of her comfort zone that it felt like she had no other choice but to accept this condition and confide in Heidi anyway. Only Bella didn’t know where to start so she opened and closed her mouth a few times, hoping that the right words would come to her. 

“I’m- I think it’s- that is I-,” she stammered, turning to gauge Heidi’s reaction, the vampire’s brows rising higher the more Bella floundered. “Aro’s…” completely gorgeous and terrifying, and wants to talk to me about esteem , “showing me the vaults and I don’t know what to wear.”

“That,” Heidi said with an all-too-knowing smile, telling Bella with just a look that she knew what Bella was wanting to say, “rather depends on what you plan to do afterwards.” Bella visibly deflated where she stood, and then fell down into the armchair again, missing the teasing glint to Heidi’s eyes. 

“That’s up to me, apparently,” she grumbled. 

“Well,” Heidi said as she stood, her voice embodying optimism as if it could lift Bella’s spirits, “what do you like to do? I’m sure Master Aro will be pleased with whatever you choose.” Her comment didn’t reassure Bella any as she was reeling from Aro’s earlier behavior, and while she’d attempted to comprehend the meaning behind some of his words, she found she was too cowardly to try harder. You dream about me? Stop. 

“I don’t know,” Bella shrugged, visibly distracted. “I’m pretty boring.” Heidi chuckled. 

“ That is something I know to be untrue,” she smiled. “You’re overthinking this, Bella. Surely there’s something you like to do that involves at least one other person.” Bella felt a pressure building between her eyes as she thought, trying desperately not to acknowledge their evening as a date . She rubbed her eyes. 

“I don’t think boxing with him will end well for me,” she supplied, trying to smirk but only managing to grimace instead. 

“I cannot disagree with you there, maybe wait till next month for that particular endeavor.” Bella shot Heidi a wary look. Would Aro still want to spend time with her once she was changed or was all of this just an extension of his curiosity? Maybe he was just playing with her. Maybe she was merely a challenge for his self-control. Maybe he’ll lose interest once I’m a vampire. “What else?” Bella sat unusually still as she focused, her own thoughts having made her miserable as well as anxious. What else? Hell, she didn’t know. She hadn’t exactly been an extrovert in her past life; there were few people she liked enough to call a friend and even then she’d spent little time hanging out with them. The people at work were easier, all they required was alcohol and somewhere to dance. 

“Music, I guess,” Bella suggested. 

“You might try dancing!” 

“If Aro wants to change me tonight, sure. I don’t have the coordination or the know-how for dancing.” Bella sighed. He liked dancing, she knew it was one of his favorite hobbies, but the thought of it only unnerved her more. She wasn’t exactly in the habit of doing anything that brought ridicule, and trying to dance was certainly something she imagined would embarrass her. That and the thought alone of him touching her made the hairs on her arms rise. 

“You believe he would be a dangerous teacher?” 

“I believe I would be a dangerous student.” Heidi laughed. 

“There are often live bands at La Taverna Della Terra di Mezzo in the evening. I could look online and see if there is anyone playing tonight. You might like to dine there too, or perhaps Master Aro will delight you with their wines.” Bella slowly nodded her approval, trying not to blush at the implication Aro would seek to delight her with anything. It was as good a plan as any, she reasoned, and she could admit that she’d enjoyed dining with Aro on Friday. If it were a simple rendition of their last evening together, she might make it out with her pride unscathed. “Excellent. I’ll look into it as soon as possible. Let’s go to your wardrobe and pick out an outfit.” 

“We could do it later,” Bella suggested, wary of choosing something prematurely only for their plan to fall through. 

“I won’t be available later, I’m afraid,” Heidi replied, apologetic as she gestured for Bella to walk with her. “I lead various tours throughout the day, a few of which are mandatory, and we are still without a receptionist so I will be in interviews later this afternoon.” 

“I thought Valentina worked on reception,” Bella said, visibly confused as she got to her feet. Heidi scarcely hesitated as she replied, her tone indifferent. 

“Valentina was removed from her role on Thursday.” Removed? Bella followed through the bathroom, still perplexed. Valentina had been gone for four days? Why? 

“But I saw her on Thursday,” Bella said, frowning. What had the woman done to be fired? Bella considered that she might have quit but doubted it, Valentina seemed like the kind of person who relished working in a Palace. The arrogance in her was unmistakable, there was no way she’d give up serving literal Kings. “What’d she-?” Bella started but before she finished her sentence, realization dawned. “ Oh .” Valentina was dead. Bella didn’t know how to feel. “Why?” 

“We’ve had a fast turnover as of late,” Heidi said, matter of fact, as if this explained anything at all. Bella felt slightly ill at the thought. What was a fast turnover for vampires? How many women did they employ only to kill? “Felix and Demetri employed the last three, all of which have been lacking in skill and character. I shall do better.” Bella decided not to reply. Instead, she tried to recall her last encounter with Valentina. The details were so unimportant at the time and therefore hazy in her recollection. Had something happened after she’d left Aro? Had he been the one to kill her? If so, why? 

They walked through to Bella’s closet and once inside, Heidi helped Bella up onto the podium in front of the mirror. Bella watched with unseeing eyes as Heidi slid the glass doors open and looked upon the outfits there. She knew that Aro killed humans, it was literally his diet, after all, but it felt strange to be confronted with him killing someone he’d employed. Or well, someone his Guard had employed. It was more deliberate, she surmised. Why would he kill her if he was merely hungry? It only gave Heidi more work to do. Bella was startled quite suddenly by her self-realized apathy. Was that all she’d seen Valentina as? Staff? Another body whose only role was to serve? Where was her compassion?

“Perhaps tonight can be an opportunity for you to try something a little longer,” Heidi suggested, oblivious to Bella’s inner turmoil, only regaining attention when she removed the black satin dress from the railing. “There’s no need to look so frightened, Bella,” Heidi said, looking at her then and fondly rolling her eyes in exasperation. Bella was only slightly relieved that her self-discovered callousness was mistaken for anxiety. What would Heidi think of her? What would Alice or Carlisle? “It’s just a dress,” Heidi reassured. “I’ll help you.”

It took less than five minutes for Bella to remove her casual wear and change into the dress. Heidi busied herself looking at shoes and accessories all the while to give her some privacy. An essential measure, they both thought, given just who would see Heidi’s mind sooner or later. Bella felt conflicted as she looked at herself in the mirror. She knew that all of the borrowed outfits she’d worn since her death had elicited a similar reaction in her. It wasn’t that she disliked the clothes, far from it, it was just that they were so expensive and they made her look different . It didn’t help that she felt the dress was excessive for the occasion; Bella imagined it was the kind of thing someone wore to a city prom or more accurately, to a red carpet event. It surely wasn’t made for looking around a vault or even to wear to dinner. But it was dazzling . 

“I’ll have to go shopping if I wear this,” Bella said as Heidi zipped up the back, her gaze fixed on the prominent sight of her bra, uncovered due to the sweetheart neckline. Heidi, comprehending Bella’s meaning, said, 

“You won’t need to wear one.” Then, upon seeing Bella’s horrified expression, she added, “Trust me, Bella. I know a thing or two about dresses. It won’t be noticeable.” Bella glanced down at the gown, running her fingers over the deliberately thin fabric. It would certainly be noticeable the moment she felt cold- or aroused , her mind unhelpfully supplied. Heidi, oblivious to Bella’s shy unease, went on to say. “How would you like your hair? I love it when it's up but I’ll have to send someone else to do it if that is what you decide.” 

“It’s fine,” Bella murmured, distracted by her imagination. “I’ll keep it down.” 

“You look stunning, Bella,” Heidi reassured, and smiled, looking up at her in the mirror. “Now, of course, I shall have to avoid Master Aro for the rest of the day. I cannot let his first sight of you be through me. I shall do you justice enough but… well, I think he’ll appreciate it more firsthand.” Bella's face took mere seconds to go from an anxious pale to a mortified red. She spluttered something unintelligent. Heidi, feigning innocence, asked, “Have you any thoughts on make-up?” It took Bella a long minute to recover enough to reply.

“You could do it now and I’ll be careful not to ruin it,” she suggested, finding it incredibly difficult to swallow. 

“That should work,” Heidi agreed. “I’ll explain what I’m doing should you need to fix it yourself later.” 

With a basic plan in place, Bella changed back into her jeans and shirt, and watched attentively as Heidi did her makeup; the latter claiming it was minimalist. Bella wasn’t sure she agreed; she wore makeup so rarely that any at all felt like it looked excessive. 

“Don’t worry, Bella,” Heidi said before she left, “your evening will be perfect.” Bella offered up a weak smile, not sure what to say. It wasn’t the vault tour or the restaurant, or even her dress, that had her worried, after all; it was the impending conversation but Heidi couldn’t help her with that. 

After half an hour of sitting alone, picking at her lunch and looking at her watch some more, Bella began to pace again. She still had three and a half hours to kill and her thoughts were already consuming her. Was he anxious too? What had Marcus shown him in the hall? Would he think her monstrous for not grieving Valentina? Bella groaned, rubbed her temples, and then took out her cell. She did the only thing she could think to do as anxiety turned her stomach once again. 

“Bella!” Alice greeted happily on the second ring, her voice scarcely audible above the sound of wind. “Give me a minute.” Bella began to pace again as she waited for Alice to stop running. “I was wondering when you might call me. It’s been far too long-” Alice said once she’d reached her destination. 

“It’s been a few days,” Bella interrupted, but smiled weakly nevertheless. It was comforting to hear Alice’s voice, even though she knew there was little she felt able to discuss. 

“And yet so much has happened,” Alice delighted. “Are you ready to tell me everything?” 

“That depends on what you think there is to tell,” she replied, intentionally vague, only stopping herself at the last second from rubbing her eyes as she relocated to her bedroom so she could fall down onto the bed. She’d noticed after returning earlier that the sheets had been changed and it was with great difficulty that she ignored the mortification that tried to resurface as she noted it again. 

“You’re no fun!” Alice whined. “Jasper has had to reign in my excitement countless times this past week. I’m trying really hard not to reveal anything to the family too soon.” Bella pushed herself up onto her knees. 

“Reveal what?” She asked. What had Alice seen? 

“Are you really going to pretend, to me of all people, that you’re not dating him? I’ve seen your dress for this evening, Bella. And your balcony embrace. And-” 

“Alice!” Bella hissed as she looked about the room in distress, wondering just how far the extent of vampire hearing went. Surely he wasn’t able to listen from the courtroom or wherever else he ventured when not required to govern, right? “I’m not,” Bella resolutely told her, voice quiet. “I’m pretty sure dating requires consent on my part and I’m also pretty sure I haven’t given it.” 

“Will you?” 

“We’re not talking about this!”

“Then why did you call if not to talk about this?” Alice asked, her voice dangerously smug. Bella opened her mouth to reply but found she had no answer. She had needed a distraction, that’s why she’d called, but then maybe she’d wanted Alice’s reassurance too. Who else could better prepare her for this evening? Bella’s face twisted into various expressions of worry and irritation. “If you’re worried about being overheard, believe me when I tell you that they all already know.” Bella grabbed one of her pillows to bury her face in, her groan muffled. “I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed, Bella. This is wonderful.” 

“What’s wonderful?” Bella asked. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. This is ridiculous. It’s just…” 

“Lust?” Bella blushed. 

“Exactly.” 

“And you believe this?” 

“Alice,” Bella said sadly, and huffed. “What else is there to believe? What do you want me to say? That I-” want him, more than I’ve wanted anyone for a long time. “I can’t do this again. I can’t.”

“Bella…” Alice murmured, her tone matched in volume and unhappiness. “Don’t let us be the reason you’re alone. We’ve taken so much from you already, don’t let us take this. I know you fear love, but it’s not dangerous.” Love. Bella grimaced. “I told you Aro would make good on his word. He will see to your forever, Bella. If you let him.” Her chest hurt. It really hurt. The kind of hurt that brought tears to her eyes but Bella wasn’t about to cry. Everyone was being ridiculous. She didn’t love him. 

“I’ve been here a week,” she pointed out. “I can’t,” grimace, “ love him. I don’t even know him.” 

“I think you know him better than most by now,” Alice replied. “He’s trying. You wouldn’t believe how indecisive he’s been since he met you, Bella. I’ve had to hunt more this week than I have in years, just to avoid Edward.” 

“Inconspicuous,” Bella muttered. 

“Oh, he knows something is up,” Alice laughed. “But he also knows I wouldn’t keep anything from him or the family if it impacted us directly.” 

“He’d be pissed,” Bella surmised for her, not that she knew what Alice had seen. 

“Oh, yeah,” Alice agreed. “I’m happy to keep your secret for now though. Of course, I won’t be able to keep it indefinitely but I won’t say anything more, I don’t want to overstep.” Bella wanted to tell her there was nothing to overstep but she knew it was futile. How could you lie to someone who saw the future? A few minutes of silence passed between them, giving Bella time to order her thoughts. What Alice implied… it spoke of something serious, indeed, and from the sounds of it, Aro already knew there was foundation. But she couldn’t. Love wasn’t meant for her, she knew that; she accepted it. “Bella,” Alice said, sad once more. “I wish I could go back and fix the damage we did.” 

“You and me both,” Bella sighed, swiping at an insolent tear. “I’m fine though,” she added and cleared her throat, walls rebuilding. “I just want to be a vampire. That’s all I’m here for. He’ll get bored-” 

“Bella-” 

“And I’ll go travelling or something. I’m okay on my own.” 

“You don’t have to be.” 

“No,” Bella disagreed. “It’s better that way. I’m tired of pretending. People just let me down. It’s exhausting.” 

“Bella-” 

Bella hung up and threw her phone across the bed before she fell onto her back, pinching her nose to stop herself from breathing as she fought an overwhelming urge to cry. Better on my own , she told herself. Better on my own. 

The hours dragged on up until the last. Bella busied herself with music and handwritten poetry, finding her sorrowful mood to be at least useful for the creative process. At five o’clock, Jane arrived with her dinner, confusing Bella who, at first, couldn’t understand why someone was knocking. 

“Thanks, Jane,” Bella said, smiling as well as she could. Jane glanced at the notes on the table before her, prompting Bella to quickly collect them and put them away in her room with a, “I’ll just get these out of the way.” When she returned, Jane was gone. 

The meal, an antipasto salad with bocconcini and green-olive tapenade, was great but Bella felt too sick with nerves to eat much. By half past, she had moved the majority of it around her plate so much that it looked entirely unappetizing so she gave up on it and decided to get dressed. She was still in the closet when another door knock sounded at five to six. Bella’s heart was in her throat as she made her way to the door, anticipating her visitor to be Aro himself. Her thoughts were a blend of what ifs and self-depreciation, and a long, though vaguely prepared, speech was on the tip of her tongue. It was better to tell him now, she told herself, before he said something he later wished he hadn’t, and then, maybe afterwards, she would be able to breathe easily again. It was with both relief and disappointment that she discovered it to be Jane in his stead. 

“Master Aro will meet you in the Courtroom.” 

“Oh, okay,” Bella mumbled, unable to force a smile at all. Jane looked as though she might say something but didn’t. One second she was there, the next she was gone, leaving Bella to look out into the empty corridor with dread. 

The dread remained as Bella collected her Burberry coat, her cell and some cash occupying the pockets. She folded it over her arm as she left the apartment, gripping the material in an effort to self-sooth. It didn’t help. The sound of her heels on the concrete floor as she walked only heightened her hypersensitivity, her heart beating just as loudly in her ears. Bella was mildly dismayed to see that her dress almost touched the floor as she walked, and she worried that she might ruin it once they left the Palazzo. Would it rain? Should she have brought her windbreaker instead? Would Aro hate where she’d chosen? Would he even want to go? The elevator door opened, silencing her thoughts. In one short walk, she would be… with him. Pull yourself together, Bella. 

She walked on. 

Deep breaths and a headstrong inability to show him she was compromised had a mask of composure slip into place. She could do this, she told herself. It had only been a week, he would be fine - she would be fine, it would all be fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Bella tried her best to look confident as she made her way across the hall towards Aro who waited for her with a look of something terrifyingly pure. Adoration. Fuck, fuck fu- It almost broke her resolve and Bella thought he must have seen it as he then decided to walk towards her. Meeting her halfway . 

“ Isabella ,” he breathed, taking her hand, “you look phenomenal.” Nope. Bella’s facade crumbled. “ Mia cara ,” Aro frowned, holding her hand to his chest, both of his own covering it with care not to hurt her. His tone was gentle and it should have been reassuring but Bella felt her walls reinforcing. “You are shaking. You are afraid of me?” 

“No,” Bella managed to say, as if it were impossible. 

“If not I, then perhaps what I have to say.” Bella merely nodded, holding her breath. “I see. I had hoped to show you my collections first but I believe our discussion should come now. I would not want you to fret the evening entirely and should you wish to retire early, I will understand.” Bella felt horrified at first that their serious conversation would take place sooner but relief took its place soon after. They could get it out of the way and then, if it was as bad as she feared, she could go back to her apartment and stay there for the rest of the month. She severely doubted he’d want to spend any time with her at all after she made it clear their friendship could be nothing more, he didn’t strike her as the kind of man that got told no all too often. 

Aro guided her from the room, his arm through hers, her hand still cradled in his. Bella’s anxiety had time to make her considerably more nauseated as they walked in silence, her focus on composure and the agonizing pain in her chest, ignorant to their direction. It wasn’t until they stopped outside a black and red accented dual door that Bella was brought back to her senses. Where were they? 

“The vault entrance is nearby, however, I thought that perhaps you might like somewhere more comfortable to sit while we talk,” Aro explained, releasing his hold on her and opening the door. His rooms.  

Bella’s first impression of Aro’s apartment was that it was incredibly dark, so dark in fact that she could barely see anything at all, but after he lit the fireplace and the sconces on the wall, she could appreciate the living room they’d entered into. It was a similar size to her own, only the furniture was made of dark unpolished woods and furnished in various dark red tones, surprising Bella considering she knew green to be his self-declared favorite color. 

Aro stopped and stood before the ornate couch, and gestured for Bella to take a seat. He sat down beside her when she did and took her hand in his, gently tracing circles onto the back of it. Bella briefly considered that, in his own way, he might have been trying to comfort her, only his skin on hers proved to do anything but. Breathe, Bella. That’s what Jasper would tell her. 

“Isabella, amore mio ,” he started, but before he could say anything more, Bella instinctively pulled her hand away and stood up, unable to think appropriately with him so close, her pulse noticeably thrumming in her wrists. Her chest adamantly continued to ache too and so she rubbed it, putting a few feet of distance between their bodies, before she turned around. 

“You said there were many questions,” she recalled. It was easier to regard him with furniture to separate their bodies, easier to think without his skin on hers. Bella, conscious of her inadequate attire and damning Heidi’s inaccurate reassurances, crossed her arms. “I’m assuming you have some of your own.” 

“I do,” he agreed and smiled something wicked. “Though I must confess the only one I presently desire an answer to pertains to that of your recent dreams.” 

“Phoenix,” Bella shot back, looking to the wall behind him as mortification burned her cheeks. Asshole.  

“Yes, I thought as much,” he said. A quick glance back at his smile only made Bella squirm more. Aro stood then and giving her time to recover, wandered over to observe the painting that hung above the fireplace. It was her discomfort in the silence that prompted Bella to join his side, relieved to have something to look at while her pride recovered. The painting itself was rather simple and without a plaque beneath it, Bella had no idea as to what it was called. It was pretty though, in its own way. A basic landscape painted in only red and blue. 

“Who painted this?” Bella asked, after she tried to discreetly clear her throat. 

“My sister,” Aro replied. A sideway glance at him revealed his wistful smile. “She created this in the years before I changed her. The only belonging she wished to bring with her into the afterlife.” His tone alone told her that it saddened him to talk about it. Someone he lost. The fact that it was a gift from someone so dear had Bella’s apprehension briefly displaced, seeing it anew with bittersweet tenderness. He kept it close by. Personal. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, and then, because she was curious and because she knew he would tell her, she asked, “what happened?” 

“I killed her,” he replied, his voice soured. Bella knew he was watching for her reaction and for a minute, she stood in disbelief, telling herself that he was lying, that he’d only said it to see how she’d respond. But that made no sense. He didn’t make a habit of lying to her and she didn’t believe he’d start now, especially not with something so serious. So awful. He killed her. His own sister.  

“Why?” 

“Didyme was turned against me,” he stated, returning his attention back to the painting, “by a woman whom I was convinced with infallible certainty was my mate. Sulpicia.” Bella, likewise, continued to look at the painting as he spoke, but her mind wandered too far for her to actually see it. Infallible certainty. He must have loved her greatly. What did Sulpicia look like? She wondered. Was she dark haired too? Did she walk with the same regal air? Did he wish it’d worked out? It was difficult, in that moment, for Bella to convince herself hearing of Aro’s previous lover didn’t ignite a burning jealousy in her, a fire that was only doused by her conscience reminding her the story was of his sister's loss also. “I was captivated by her beauty, convinced no such love was stronger than ours, no face more enamoring than hers’. It was in foolery that I thought we desired the same future - to create a better world and rule it together, side by side. I had no reason to believe we were in contest, for to me, she was never less than my match.” Bella’s jealousy continued to burn, a gutting sadness turning her blood cold despite the heat from the fireplace. “But,” Aro continued, emphasizing the ‘t’, “I ultimately understood my beliefs to be false, and of her deceit, mere minutes after Didyme was destroyed.” Bella, soon feeling as though she were a vessel of impetuous emotions, turned towards him. The mere prospect of him in danger caused concern to rise up and consume her. A reaction she knew was illogical, the proof that he was fine was evident in him standing before her, and yet. Aro turned towards her in response and took her hand, raising it to his chest where Bella, unable to help herself, gripped his shirt. 

“Is she a shield too?” She asked, brows furrowed. The idea of it bothered her. That she might simply be a replacement.  

“No,” he said with a perceptive, albeit small, smile. “Though she was gifted.” His use of the past tense had an instantaneous effect on her, settling a storm. The fire still flickered but its heat was manageable. “I am ashamed to admit that I was blind sighted.” 

“What was her gift?” 

“I have not ever, in entirety, known what to call it,” Aro confessed. “Manipulation, I suppose. Sulpicia was able to alter memories, design and implant false narratives. I still, to this day, cannot fully determine which memories of her are real and which ones were of her own fabrication.” Bella could only stare as he spoke, unable to comprehend the mental and emotional scars such a thing could leave on a person, even on a vampire. It was enough to drive someone to insanity. “Didyme and Marcus wanted to leave.” 

“They were mates?” Bella asked sadly. Aro inclined his head in response, resting his other hand on Bella’s shoulder. 

“They wished to travel,” he murmured, “to experience a life together outside of the palace. I recall few instances of my mortal life but it has always been within my recollection that, since we were mere children, Didyme desired a place to call her own. I had believed she considered the Palazzo to be this. When her mind changed, I cannot be sure; my continued assurance of her happiness was a fundamental part of Sulpicia’s plans. Didyme confided in her for months, under the impression that I knew of her designs to leave and that I cared little enough to acknowledge them. I can only assume false memories were planted in her mind from the beginning also, for she was later convinced I would not allow her or Marcus to step foot outside the Palace. I believe she was under the impression that I would sooner have them killed than lose their companionship, and while I cannot pretend I would have been happy to see them go, I was not so callous that I would have detained them.” 

“She must have known that, deep down under all of the mind games,” Bella said, shaking her head, unable to convince herself otherwise lest the thought of it make her heart ache more. 

“That thought is a comfort to me also,” he said, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear, shamelessly using it as an excuse to caress her cheek. It made Bella nervous. 

“What happened?” 

“Didyme was made to believe I had already killed Marcus that night when she came to me, while I had been convinced it was one of our Guards who had betrayed us. Didyme was beside herself with grief, she listened not to me nor reason. It was not long we were alone, but in her anguish she begged me to kill her. It mattered not if it was I or another that had taken her mate from her, she and I believed her grief to be eternal without Marcus.” Mercy. Aro closed his eyes and Bella, distressed by her inability to alleviate his pain, stepped up to him and fixed her other hand to his shirt before she closed her eyes too. His hands found her waist, holding her closer. “Marcus found me before Sulpicia,” he continued, his voice softer in her ear. “At first, I believed him to be a figment of my imagination. I thought it fitting that I should be punished for eternity by visions of him.” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Amore mio, sei troppo buona, troppo gentile con me,” he murmured. “You and Marcus,” he added in English, bemusing Bella though she had no inclination to reprimand him while he sounded so saddened. “When he realized what I had done… it is with a resolve I know not that he did not kill me where I stood.” Bella’s grip tightened. “I, of course, told him of what Didyme and I thought to be true, as well as her request and my reasoning. It was then that he revealed Sulpicia was likewise dead and I realized we were never meant to be, for I scarcely felt anything at all.” 

“Where was he?”

“Marcus believed Didyme was expecting him so he left the palace, anticipating to join her in Pisa. We believe Sulpicia’s gift was severely weakened by the distance, and I suspect not abetted by her severe focus upon those of us here. Her spell was broken and, with an absolved mind, Marcus returned to warn us. His presence took her by surprise and before she could influence him further, he killed her. We both continue to suffer the imaginings of what might have taken place could he have gotten to her sooner. With her death, her influence was removed from all but me. I presume it is due to the nature of my gift though I cannot speculate with any certainty.”

“I’m so sorry,” was all Bella could say. “That’s like... gaslighting to the extreme. I can’t even imagine how you recover from that.” 

“There is no reason for you to apologize, Isabella. I do not tell you this in exchange for your sympathy, though I am greatly comforted in your presence. You alone have given my mind such immeasurable peace.” 

“You can’t just say stuff like that,” Bella told him, butterflies reawakened in her gut, she shook her head and stepped back, though only far enough to look him in the eyes. 

“Can I not?” He asked, smiling to himself.  

“No,” she answered, trying with great difficulty not to smile back. “It’s terrifying.” 

“You are a wonder, mia cara ,” he murmured. “In these past few minutes I have told you a tale of deceit and murder, and yet it is my feelings for you that scare you most.” 

“Aro-” she warned, though she wasn’t sure what, beyond her returning discomfort, she could scold him for. It was her who had gotten close to him, after all. 

“ Isabella .” Bella felt as though her mind was buffering, her prepared thoughts from earlier undecipherable in his presence now that she was warm . His intense gaze and, Jesus Christ, the way he said her name, made her breath hitch. 

“You can’t hit on me right now,” she said. “It’s totally inappropriate. I’m trying to- I’m just- you’re…” 

“You are correct, amore mio . Though I must confess it is hard not to hit on you when you look so beautiful.” Bella made a distressed noise in the back of her throat, the current under her skin recharged. Her attempt to retreat, however, was interrupted by Aro’s hands still on her waist. “I am aware that I should not be so candid, bella , for I have quickly come to know the boundaries of your comfort. I hope you will not condemn me for impertinence for saying I have missed you greatly.” Bella opened her mouth to respond, to remind him as she had reminded herself that it had only been two days, but Aro quickly continued. “I beg of you to hear all of me before you respond, Isabella. I anticipate your  disbelief and know it to be of a nature that will unsettle you.” 

“Then don’t,” Bella said softly, pleading with her eyes. 

“I cannot,” he replied, taking one of her hands and pressing it gently against his chest. “I will not spend another night wishing to tell you lest I bind myself to insanity.” Bella was, once again, acutely aware of her heart beating wildly. An ache emerged in her temples and spread across her forehead, fear felt like fire licking up her throat. “These last forty five hours have been the coldest I have ever, in my recollection, experienced, amore mio . You have consumed my every wandering thought. I have not ever loathed my responsibilities as much as I have these past two days. My every desire, should I have acted upon it, would have brought me back to you.” Two days, her thoughts cried . But hadn’t she felt cold? Hadn’t she missed him? Hadn’t he consumed her every wandering thought too? Hell, she’d even dreamed about him. ‘ He will see to your forever, Bella. If you let him.’ Better on my own. -more than I’ve wanted anyone for a long time. So hurt me. Pull yourself together, Bella. “Bella,” Aro murmured, pulling Bella from the sudden depths of her thoughts. She opened her eyes, not realizing she’d closed them, and looked fearfully into his. “It hurts you to hear this,” he stated with a frown. “What is it you fear, my love?” He asked, releasing his hold on her, but not before he took up the hand against his chest and kissed it. Bella stared at his tie, unable to meet his eyes, unsure as to what she could say- if she could say anything at all. My love . 

“I just... can’t,” she muttered, shaking her head, unable to move besides bringing her hand back to her chest and holding it there. 

“Love?” Aro asked. “I have seen a great capacity to love in you, Isabella. I confess I have been jealous at how ardently you feel it for Carlisle and his family.” Bella merely shook her head again. To love was something she had no control over, not really. But- “ Be loved,” Aro corrected himself upon realization. 

“It just hurts,” she muttered. “Renee hurt me, I hurt Charlie. Edward hurt me, I hurt Jake. It’s just somebody else’s turn and I can’t.” Bella stepped back. “I don’t even know you. You have all these memories of me, how do you even know-” 

“I pray you not to discredit my affections,” Aro interrupted. “I appreciate you have a disinclination to accept them. History has been unkind to you and I alike in matters of the heart. I do not pretend to know you, darling, and I would not declare to you love if there were any instances of doubt in my mind. I know it as well as I know myself. I love you, Isabella.” 

“You can’t,” Bella disagreed. “You’re a vampire, somewhere out there, waiting for you, you’ll have a...” mate . Oh. Aro approached, seeing the realization dawn in her eyes, and reached out for her hands. “You think I’m…” 

“I have waited more than three thousand years for you,” he smiled, answering her barely spoken question, towing her back into his arms, “an equal to carry and empower my heart and soul. Trust in me, Isabella, when I tell you that I will strive to be nothing less than you deserve, now and forever.” Bella found she couldn’t process the weight of his words as he spoke them, or in the silence afterwards. All she knew was that her disinclination was growing. He was so assured, but how could he be? 

“How do you know?” 

“I had an inclination a few days before your arrival,” Aro replied. Bella’s brows drew together. “You must understand, it takes certain conditions for any human to be of interest, especially to me. At first, I presumed my interest was due to your situation. You are of great importance to Carlisle and his coven, and this also intrigued me. I must confess that once I learned of your gift, it was this that I then believed to be what excited me and held my attention. You will be powerful, amore mio , and I believed that you would be a great asset to our Guard if you were to join us. This is why I invited you.” Bella wasn’t surprised by this, being useful to him was an easier motive to understand. “However, during the week we were parted, I found myself thinking of you often. There were times when I was wholly distracted and it did not take long before I came to think of you as beautiful.” Bella blushed darkly. “My brother, Marcus. Do you know of his gift?” 

“Carlisle said something about deciphering ties,” Bella mumbled, not able to recall much with any certainty in her current situation. Aro inclined his head. 

“He sees the bonds between others,” he said. “It is invigorating at times, to see what he does, all of the strands that tie us together. He noticed upon first seeing me that I had formed a new attachment but he knew not who nor what would come of it. Until, that is, you arrived.”

“He could tell?” Bella asked, not wholly convinced. “I don’t understand, wouldn’t you have known without him? I thought it was supposed to be like imprinting.” 

“Imprinting?”

“Uh,” Bella faltered, realizing her mistake. She wasn’t comfortable with disclosing Pack secrets, not when she was still unsure of his plans regarding their existence. “It’s a wolf thing.” 

“Ah,” he hummed. “I am unable to speak of any likeness though Imprinting suggests an affair of instantaneous affection.” Bella nodded. “As much as some vampires would like to believe it is, our mating bonds do not impact us so severely. Not at first. They take time to strengthen.” 

“So, in the beginning, they look the same as any other to Marcus?” 

“No,” Aro replied and then seeing Bella’s look of exasperation, chuckled quietly. “I believe ours will appear just as most do once you are a vampire. However, at present, it is something much more exquisite. I always imagined humans were unable to feel it. A match between a vampire and human is so rare, so unprecedented. Yet you have inspired nearly two.” Edward. 

“ Nearly two,” she repeated. 

“I believe Edward should have found his future in you should he have returned,” Aro explained. Bella was mildly gratified that he looked so sad on her behalf. “A mating bond, while strong, is not indestructible. You felt it breaking, did you not? I cannot begin to imagine. It is a pain I hope to never experience myself.” It was breakable. 

“I could say no?” Bella asked, her voice weak. From what Edward had told her, Bella had always thought the bond between mates, like imprinting, was something that was out of a person’s control. But then, Edward had left, hadn’t he? She should have known. 

“You can always say no, cara ,” Aro replied. “But how we feel will only strengthen the longer we are together. I imagine it would be painful, even now. The mere thought compels me to beg.” The thought of him begging elicited a strange reaction in her gut. It was both alarming and, if she was being honest with herself, arousing. To make a King beg - and for her, no less, was a compliant Bella couldn’t ignore. It didn’t wholly surprise her either, he had been waiting for a mate for so long; if their position were switched, she might have been desperate for a partner too. He had been alone for so long, waiting. How cruel fate was, making her his supposed match. Bella shook her head, not in disagreement, but in an attempt to loosen the feelings making themselves at home behind her ribs. She couldn’t be his mate. He was… him , and she was her - clumsy, cowardly, unlovable, her . Marcus was wrong, he had to be. 

“I- I don’t understand,” she said, grasping at this train of thought, “If Marcus can see bonds, wouldn’t he have seen the bond between you and Sulpicia?” 

“I discovered her when she was human, and I believe her to have been likewise gifted while mortal - a most remarkable power. My interest in her, I cannot tell if it was ever completely of my own design. A part of me had wanted a mate for a long time, seeing the happiness it inspired in Didyme and Marcus. I admit I was all too readily convinced,” he explained. “Marcus saw foundation, as at first he saw it for us. However, her deceptions began before she was changed. I cannot pretend to understand the nature nor extension of her gift as I never saw it clearly. Marcus believed our bond to be more progressed than it was through assumption alone as he was often influenced to forget it was anything but.” Bella, though he had answered her question, was distracted by the briefest of information in his explanation. She felt almost compelled to ask. 

“Are we… still foundation?” 

“I assumed that we would be,” Aro said and smiled to himself. “This is what I was speaking of this morning. That you have surprised me. It has strengthened slowly since your arrival. The time we have spent together has helped but there have been, at times, fluctuation . How you feel about me, Isabella, has great impact. I feared that there would have been a regression of sorts with time apart.” But there wasn’t , Bella surmised. Because she’d missed him, because she wanted him. 

“More than foundation,” Bella muttered to herself, and sighed, her head sore. 

“I appreciate that this is a lot to process.” 

“It’s just… it feels too fast,” Bella stressed.

“We have an infinite amount of time, Isabella,” Aro reassured. “Take as much of it as you need. I will wait.” 

“But if- if I-” don’t want this , was on her tongue but was there really a part of her that didn’t want it? Bella wasn’t sure she knew. It terrified her, she knew that. But what he spoke of, it was more than she’d expected. He didn’t, and if the bond strengthened, wouldn’t, want her for a short amount of time. If she trusted him, it would be forever. 

“I will still change you should you decide I am not what you want,” Aro answered, no doubt, anticipating the direction of her thoughts. At least there was that, she thought dryly. If she’d come all this way only for him to change his mind.... Bella wasn’t sure her sanity would survive the flight back to New York. 

“I need time,” she told him. 

“I anticipated as much,” he replied. “Are you still partial to spending this evening with me?” Bella hesitated. The smart thing to do would be to leave, she told herself. She needed to think and the more time they spent together, the less she’d want to consider the alternative to him . But she was warm, and the pain in her chest was practically gone. Did she want to retire to her apartment just to think herself into depression? She’d spent the better part of the day doing that already. And - and if she was being honest with herself - she didn’t want to go. The bond was already there, it was already making her miserable in his absence. What would one more night do? Aro had already said it fluctuated. 

“Yeah,” she answered. “I wouldn’t want Heidi’s hard work to go to waste.” And then she said, recalling his earlier mention of questions , “Speaking of Heidi.” 

“I suspect you have many more questions, my love,” Aro smiled. “Perhaps you might ask them while we see to the beginning of our arrangements.” 

The entrance to the vault looked like any other door but as soon as Bella stepped inside, she felt as though she’d been transported to the inside of a bank. Or at least, it’s what she imagined a bank vault to look like. The walls were black and made up of letterbox sized drawers, each one outlined in gold with a gold plated number on the front. At the far end of the room, there were glass cases leading off in both directions, showcasing what looked to be ornamental vases. Aro, at first, gave her space as she explored, gesturing his consent with a pleased smile whenever she asked to look inside a drawer. Most of them contained treasures such as antique books and jewelry that Bella didn’t dare to touch, and in a few drawers were, no doubt, equally expensive small antiques. 

“What’s your favorite treasure in here?” Bella asked after Aro returned to her side, the both of them stood before an oil painted canvas illustrating a house surrounded by poppy covered hills. 

“Besides you,” Aro smiled, earning a smirk from Bella whose anxiety had moderately settled as she’d given in to distraction. 

“Been waiting all day to say that, haven’t you,” she muttered before following him back towards the door. Instead of leaving, they stopped before a drawer. 1. Bella glanced at Aro as he opened it, curious as to what he would value most. Inside was a beautifully carved wooden box with lilies painted on the sides, the clasp was missing and there was a scratch across the lid but it was clearly cared for in Aro’s possession. 

“This belonged to my Mother,” Aro said, “and then Didyme. While her carry on was a painting, mine was this.” Bella instantly felt an overwhelming rush of emotion, the most prominent was grief. It was the strangest moment to realize that she had nothing belonging to her parents, no memento that she would one day cherish in their memory. “Humanity was not difficult to leave behind. Like yourself, I knew I belonged in this life. However, my fondness for this particular box survived the transformation. It was the first addition to the vault.”

“It’s beautiful,” Bella said, taking hold of his arm in an effort to both comfort him and herself, unable to find the words to convey her understanding. Aro placed his hand over hers and smiled down at her, the look of pure adoration back. Bella didn’t feel as alarmed by it as she had in court though it set off the same kaleidoscope of butterflies in her stomach, bringing a blush to her face and making her look away. 

“I would like to give you something,” Aro said after closing the drawer, regaining Bella’s gaze, though she now looked suspicious. 

“From in here?” She asked. “No.” Aro chuckled. 

“And if you were to choose it yourself?” 

“Still no,” Bella replied. “Everything in here is so… expensive.” Aro hummed as he thought, no doubt able to recount a complete inventory of the vault. Bella watched him, dreading what he might consider to be not expensive . “If you really want to give me a gift,” she said, resigned to the fact that he did, “instead of it being something I’ll be too afraid to touch, maybe make it for me.” 

“And this will decrease its value?” 

“Monetary value,” Bella corrected. “I can make you something too.” 

“An exchange of goods,” Aro surmised. “I find these terms acceptable.” Bella sighed gently, relieved that she wasn’t going to feel pressured into picking an artifact that should be better given to a museum than herself. Though, she realized, she might not think so fondly of their agreement when it came to creating a gift for Aro. What did you give a man who had such belongings ? The thought of him keeping it here amongst the diamonds, gold, and masterpieces made her nervous. Her writing certainly wasn’t good enough and Bella hadn’t made any sort of craft since Kindergarten. Would Heidi help her? “Are you regretting your decision so soon, mia cara ?” Aro asked, clearly amused. 

“No,” Bella lied, making him laugh. 

“Be assured that I shall too find it as difficult as I do stimulating to craft something worthy of your-” 

“Don’t say love,” Bella warned. 

“... admiration,” Aro conceded, though Bella knew he meant to say the former. “Perhaps,” he said as a look of uncertainty crossed his face, intriguing Bella who couldn’t help but hang onto his next words. “If you are amenable, I might be so bold as to ask you for a kiss.” For a few long seconds, Bella felt as though her mind had short circuited as she was unable to think of anything at all. Then she blushed, and then she realized her heart had taken off again. 

“You want me to gift you a kiss?” She asked, smiling weakly despite being bemused by his request. Aro stepped closer to her then, his eyes darkening. Bella wasn’t adept enough at lying, not even to herself, to convince herself that it didn’t turn her on. 

“I would like to kiss you,” he replied. Oh my God. In her nervousness, Bella found herself unable to say anything in response. The reasonable part of her brain told her many things from, you know you want to to are you insane? The very unreasonable part of her brain was simply screaming at her. In the moment, with his practically black eyes upon her, Bella could only reason that there was, technically, no part of her that didn’t want him to kiss her. Only a very small piece of her mind was trying to convince her it was a ploy, that he only wanted to kiss her so as to strengthen their bond, but it was wholly ignorable in contrast to the desire soaring within her. She had already made the decision to throw caution to the wind, even if it was for one night only. 

“Okay,” she said, her voice reflecting her nerves. Aro held her gaze, hers matching in intensity, as he slid his hand up the curve of her jaw, tilting her head backwards. To steady her, his other hand found her waist, to which Bella was thankful for because the next second his lips were on hers and she found she quite forgot how to stand. His lips were smooth, an altogether bizarre texture to kiss but one Bella remembered from her junior year. Unlike Edward, however, Aro wasn’t afraid to hurt her. At first, it was slow, leisurely almost, as though Bella could pull away at any second and it would have been sweet, but neither of them could have anticipated just how responsive she’d be. It was as though a switch had been flipped and all of her pent up sexual frustration from the weekend was given free reign. Within mere seconds, Bella’s hands were on his neck, pushing up into his hair to hold him there. With closed eyes, their kiss turned hungry. Bella felt as though her skin was tingling and hot, but it failed her attention in comparison to his hands. The one on her waist slid around to her back and Bella couldn’t help but pray he was brazen enough to touch her ass. She couldn’t recall ever wanting anyone more than she wanted him, the desperation in her dream paled in comparison to the desire she felt now. When he pulled away, Bella almost whined, but her lungs were too grateful for air to be of any other use. Her chest heaved with every sharp inhale, her head full of static. Good God, did he smell good.

“ Amore mio, non ho mai voluto niente di più. Ti desidero, mente, corpo e anima. Sei incredibile ,” Aro muttered quietly into her ear as he held her to his chest. Bella, though she couldn’t comprehend his words, understood his tone and its urgency, and that alone kept the room spinning and her muscles tightening. “Your heart is beating especially fast, my love.” 

“Yeah,” she replied breathlessly, “I noticed.” Aro laughed quietly, rubbing circles on her cheek with his thumb. Bella tried to calm herself down, her head beginning to ache now oxygen was returning to it, but all she could think about was where else she wanted his hands. 

“ Bella ,” he growled, “you smell divine.” 

“Imagine how good I’d taste,” Bella replied, too intoxicated to feel regret nor shame from speaking her thoughts aloud. The next thing she processed was that she was being carried and they were no longer in the vault. Was he really going to-?  

“Master Aro.” He stopped and after a few seconds of indecision, Aro slowly lowered Bella back onto her feet, steadying her as she adjusted. Jane stood at the end of the corridor looking as indifferent as she had done the day Bella first saw her, for which Bella was incredibly grateful lest she die of embarrassment. All too aware that her divine smell was not only privy to Aro’s senses. “Master Caius and Master Marcus have requested you and Mistress Isabella to join them in Court. We have a visitor.” Mistress Isabella. 

“And who might that visitor be?” Aro asked, evidently displeased at the interruption by the tone of his voice. Bella, though equally disappointed by the turn of events, placed her hand on Aro’s arm to calm him. It wasn’t Jane’s fault, after all. 

“Irina Denali,” Jane replied. The name was vaguely recognizable, Bella thought. 

“And why is she here?” 

“She believes Doctor Cullen and his coven have been fraternizing with werewolves.”

Chapter Text

XXV

Bella felt as though she could discern with complete clarity every drop of blood that drained from her face. It was as if Jane had effectively thrown her into a freezing cold swimming pool and forced her head under. Fraternizing with werewolves. Not werewolves, her wolves. At least, they had been for a time. Sam, who had found her in the middle of the forest and brought her home. Jake, who had saved her in more ways than she could fully articulate. Jake, whom she loved. What would happen to them? What would happen to Carlisle? Caius was clearly looking for any reason to kill him and his family, was this it? Could Bella do anything to stop him? Surely as Aro’s mate she held some influence, right? What would he do? What was he thinking? Did it pain him just as deeply to think Carlisle might, once again, be in danger? He had come all the way to Forks when he heard of the newborn army, would he be there for his friend now? And if he wouldn’t, would he step in and save him for her? The shift in Bella’s emotions was so severe that Aro dismissed the child without a word and turned to her, taking her hand with a look of curiosity and concern. 

“Do not fret, Isabella,” he said, “a mere hindrance in our plans. This will not take long.” His downplay of the situation's severity had Bella’s brows pulling together. 

“He wants to kill them, all of them,” she replied, her voice reflecting her disbelief at his disregard. “They’re my family, or at least, were,” she added. Aro inclined his head, holding her hand to his chest. 

“I understand, amore mio ,” he murmured. “I do not take the accusation lightly, I merely wished to reassure you that you need not worry.” Bella looked into his eyes, finding sincerity there. She exhaled slowly. “We will join with my Brothers presently and I will divulge the necessary information to put everyone’s minds at ease,” he added, “and then we will resume what promises to be a far more enlightening evening.” The way his eyes darkened brought a small smile to Bella’s lips, though she was too pale with worry to blush. Hearing your friends were on trial was a sure way to ruin the mood. Aro held her hand as they walked, passing the doors to his apartment on their way to court. Bella, though reassured by Aro’s words, still felt the anxiety rise within her. Walking into a hall full of vampires, knowing she smelled divine was enough to make her severely regret the timing of their… altercation. Make-out session , her mind supplied. Those words didn’t seem fitting for a King though. 

All eyes were upon them when they entered, though the only person who looked at all surprised to see them hand in hand was Irina. She looked a bit like Rosalie, Bella’s mind unhelpfully supplied, though it was only the pale skin, blonde hair, and golden eyes that were similar. Her expression could have been described as a deer caught in headlights, her eyes flickering between the Volturi with apprehension; Bella couldn’t help but think it strange given she’d come of her own design. Weren’t the Denalis supposed to be close to the Cullens? Why would she come to the Volturi instead of going to them? Carlisle could have explained, it would have saved them all from this drama. Did Irina know she was threatening the very lives of their entire coven by coming? Where was her loyalty? 

“Irina,” Aro greeted, putting on his most cheerful smile. “What a surprise.” 

“She brings news of the Cullens,” Caius said. If his tone could pass condemnation, the Cullens would already be dead. It bothered Bella. It bothered her a lot. Who did he think he was? How was he allowed to govern with such an obvious bias? Bella begrudgingly supposed, after asking the question in her head, that Aro had one too - only his didn’t threaten the very lives of the people she loved . That left only Marcus to be impartial. It was a good thing there were three of them. 

“So I have heard,” Aro replied. “ Fraternizing with werewolves , you say.” This time, he spoke to Irina. 

“Yes,” she answered. “The werewolves, they killed my mate.” Bella’s lips thinned in concentration. What did that have to do with the Cullens? 

“I see,” Aro hummed. “May I?” He asked, reaching for her hand. Irina hesitated but after a glance at Bella, she took his hand and looked away. Bella felt physically ill, even with Aro’s reassurances. Would the killing of Irina’s mate be enough of a reason to kill the pack? What would she even say on their behalf? It’s not as if she could promise they’d never kill again, vampires were their enemy - but she couldn’t just stand by and let them die. At least, she reminded herself, the Cullens couldn’t be held responsible. At least, she hoped they couldn’t. 

After a minute, Aro pulled away. He turned to face his Brothers with a thoughtful look on his face. What had he seen? Had he changed his mind? Bella, in her distress, didn’t realize she’d drifted closer to Jane and Alec’s side until Aro glanced at her, and then at them. He was thinking. Puzzling it all out, Bella realized. 

“Well, what do you see?” Caius asked, impatient. 

“The werewolves you speak of,” Aro said, ignoring Caius in favor of turning back to Irina. “They are not what you have assumed. Children of the Moon change only during the full moon and they are a much more unbecoming sight.” 

“But- I saw them-” Irina stammered. 

“That is not to say they did not kill your mate,” Aro continued. 

“If they’re not wolves, then what are they?” Irina asked. 

“Shape shifters,” Aro replied, as if revealing a great secret. Was he enjoying this? “There have been reports of such over the centuries. These particular ones merely take on the appearance of wolves. I believe they are able to shift as and whenever they please. They do not harm or infect humans, the genes for their transformation are inherited, with but one exception, by their sons.” 

“You knew of this, Brother?” Caius asked, clearly irritated. Bella surmised it was more due to disappointment than any real anger at Aro for concealing their existence. 

“I did,” Aro hummed. “The Cullens have a treaty with them.” 

“An alliance?” Caius sounded positively hopeful. Bella grit her teeth. 

“No,” Aro answered swiftly. “I do not believe there is any affinity between the Cullens and these Shifters. It is my understanding that the treaty was put in place to keep Carlisle and his family from their land, so long as they agreed not to hunt the humans in the area.” 

“Yet these shifters are free to kill any vampire they come across,” Caius growled. 

“They don’t leave the reservation,” Bella spoke up, comprehending where Caius’ thoughts were leading. All eyes were upon her. “The shifters, they protect the people on their reservation and in the nearby town. They have a perimeter around both that they stick to. The only vampires they kill are those that they perceive to be a threat.” 

“How is it that you know about this?” Caius asked. Bella looked at him, hopeful that her features beheld no visible fear, praying that Aro would protect her even if she said something to further upset the blond King. 

“The town they protect is my hometown,” she replied. “They’re my friends, my family. They’ve saved my life more than once.” 

“This is clear bias, then,” Caius declared. “Are they as little threat as you describe or do you merely wish to placate your girlfriend ?” Caius asked, glaring at Aro who looked indifferent to his Brother ’s bad mood. 

“Mate,” Bella and Aro corrected simultaneously. Aro smiled at her, delighted. Bella’s blush, though still weak, found her then. She was surprised at herself, and the indignation she felt at Caius for downplaying her importance . 

“They are no threat to us,” Aro then said, replying to Caius. “Isabella has a more personal insight into their proceedings, and as you can hear, she does not lie. While I was in America, I learned of their existence through Carlisle and his coven. They too have a thorough understanding of these shifters and their role. While they are strong and consider themselves our natural enemy, they are tethered to their land and their people, and pose no danger to any that give the area a wide berth.” 

“They killed Laurent,” Irina cried. “If it wasn’t for the Cullens, he wouldn’t have even gone. It’s their fault.” Laurent? Bella’s brows rose. 

“It wasn't their fault,” Bella refuted and then, when Irina shot her a look that spoke of her strong disagreement , she sighed. “In a way, it was mine. Though really, I’m not in the habit of taking responsibility for the actions of those trying to kill me, so I guess you could say it was his own fault, or maybe even Victoria’s.” Irina’s indignance dissolved and she was looking at Bella as though she’d grown another head. “Laurent came to Forks to kill me. The shifters saved my life by killing him. The Cullens weren’t even in town.” 

“Is this true?” Caius asked. 

“It is,” Aro confirmed. “Laurent was part of a coven with Victoria and her mate, James. Nomads. They were passing through the area when they discovered Isabella at a baseball game with Carlisle and his family . James was a very gifted tracker and was unrelenting in his pursuit. He was killed shortly after… leaving his mate, Victoria, to plan her revenge.” Bella was distinctively uncomfortable listening to the happenings of her life described so matter of fact, especially to Caius who was visibly judging her from his throne. 

“A mate for a mate,” Marcus said quietly, though he looked just as indifferent as ever. Bella looked at him, briefly distracted from Aro continuing to speak, overwhelmed suddenly by her empathy for him. When he learned of Didyme’s death, did he think his killing of Sulpicia only fair? Was he disappointed to discover Sulpicia wasn’t Aro’s mate? Did he harbor any ill-will on her now for being so?

“-he would never,” Irina was saying. “He was changing to be with me, he wasn’t even hunting humans anymore.” Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes. Instead she focused on the part that confused her most. 

“Why are you here now? Laurent died five years ago. I was barely 18.”

“Irina here has only just learned of what befell her Laurent ,” Aro replied. Bella felt a small spike of guilt as she took in the surprise and devastation on Irina’s face, but it was quickly erased when she reminded herself that Irina was here, betraying the Cullens and essentially asking for the pack to be punished. Killed . 

“He was changing,” Irina said, her eyes begging Bella to believe her. 

“He didn’t appear particularly changed when he was promising to make my death quick,” Bella replied, her tone hardened.

“He was changing,” Irina repeated, as if she was now reminding herself. Bella thought her voice might have broken had she been human but she knew no sympathy would have been elicited in her, even if it had. There was no call for her to feel guilty, Laurent had tried to kill her, after all. 

“It appears not fast enough,” Aro hummed. 

“Are we to do nothing?” Caius asked indignantly.

“What would you have us do?” Aro asked him, “It is a pity that Laurent’s life was taken,” he continued, speaking to Caius and Marcus upon the dais as if he himself was the defense attorney, a position Bella was beginning to think was the reason for her being there. Why else would they have requested her? “No law has been broken. There is no case before us today therefore a sentence is not required.” 

“These shifters-” 

“-are already being monitored,” Aro reassured. Bella’s eyes shot to Aro. What did that mean? How? 

“But-” Irina started, desperate for some kind of retribution. 

“You have wasted our time,” Caius growled. Irina shrunk back. 

“But I thought-” 

“You thought wrong,” Bella said. Irina’s golden eyes regarded her, confusion and fear  in them. Bella had no doubt that she was questioning Bella’s presence. Perhaps she too thought Aro’s position on the matter was down to Bella’s influence. Bella couldn’t say with any certainty that it wasn’t, but she was glad for his position on the matter either way. That was until he spoke his next words. 

“Of course, you are free to try and remedy the situation on your own.” What?  

In a split second, Bella felt as if her head had been pushed back under the water. What did that mean? What was he saying? That he didn’t care if they died? Bella understood that their lives were of little meaning to him, to the Volturi as a whole, but they meant a great fucking deal to her. Didn’t that matter? Irina would go - she would try to kill them. Where were his reassurances now? His sincerity? Fuck , she felt ill. It was as if the rose colored glasses she’d been seeing him with over the past six days had been slapped from her face. This is who he was. This was the vampire Edward had warned her about, the one that turned up late to a battle and showed no concern for any but his friend . 

His loyalty was to himself, to his Coven, and Bella couldn’t help but think it would always be that way if she chose to leave. There was no if. She’d been blind sighted by him, by his attention, by her attraction, by his declaration of love. He was not a man, he was a King. He’d be her King . Where did that leave her? Would her opinions matter at all if they didn’t match his own? If the day came where the Cullens were too much of a liability themselves, could she stop him? 

The anger that Bella had thought she’d left behind in Ithaca flared up in her then, a furnace bringing warmth back to her limbs. It was mutinous. How dare Irina betray the Cullens so easily? How dare Aro lie to her? How dare he stand there with so much apathy towards the people Bella loved and cared for? How dare Edward fucking Cullen walk out on her all those years ago, leaving her to continuously reap what he sowed? Hell, if he hadn’t left in the first place, Laurent would probably still be alive. But he wasn’t. Because he’d tried to kill her. Her, a weak, defenseless human. And now Irina wanted what? Her empathy? They could all go to hell. 

Irina looked disappointed at first but Bella could see there was a definite relief in her features. She was being given permission, after all… permission to massacre a group of people whose only crime was saving her life. Bella had to do something, she couldn’t just stand there and let Irina leave. Someone would notice, she knew this. If Irina even managed to live long enough to kill the entire pack, people would notice. So even if she succeeded, she’d be endangering herself by breaking the law. Was this what Aro was hoping for? Bella scrutinized his polite smile. Why let Irina go knowing she’d either die or they’d have to end up killing her? It would be the pack that suffered for his permission, the pack and Bella. She had to do something, even if Aro ignored her, even if it broke them. And if it did, well then maybe they weren’t strong enough to last anyway. 

“Thank you for your time,” Irina said. She was turning, she was walking away. A pain spiked above Bella’s wrist. Aro’s back was still to her, her eyes couldn’t plead with him to stop her, nor make him realize the damage he was doing. Irina might not have broken any laws yet but she was going to, right? That made her a liability. Her actions could potentially reveal her to humans so there was cause for concern, right? Wasn’t that enough? 

Bella’s eyes shot back to Irina who was leaving, leaving to kill the same people that had once saved her life- leaving to kill Jake, patient, loving Jake who still loved her after everything. Probably even now, despite knowing what she was to become. Knowing she’d hurt Charlie and Renee, and others with her lies. What if it was like Victoria all over again? Only instead of Harry Clearwater having a heart attack in the forest, it was Charlie? 

Bella’s hand shot out to touch Alec on the shoulder. Her heart was aching in her chest.

“Alec,” she said, and though she felt hot with anger and panic, her voice didn’t tremble. It was controlled. She was in control, at least, as much as she could be as a human mate amongst vampires. Alec, as if he’d been waiting for her command, complied; not that Bella could tell at first what with his power being invisible. Irina coming to a complete stop was her only tell that he’d used his gift. 

“What-?” Caius started, but he was immediately silenced by Aro raising his hand. Aro who had turned and was watching Bella with the same intensity she’d come to know, only it was now laced with something more… something hungry and it made Bella’s skin crawl. 

“Your counsel, Isabella,” he said, inviting her to… what? Beg? Bella glared at him. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? He could spare her this, kill Irina… he obviously knew what she feared. Hell, if Bella was thinking Irina posed a risk then she knew for a fact that she wasn’t the only one. 

“She’s a liability,” she found herself saying, and God did she hate the fact that she still sounded very much like herself. 

“Go on,” Aro replied, appearing indifferent to the contemptuous look Bella was serving him. 

“If she even lives long enough to kill one of the pack, they might retaliate… broaden their areas of patrol, maybe even seek out vampires to kill.” This was a very far-fetched example, but Bella could imagine Leah wanting blood if it were Seth to die… or Paul who was the most prone to anger. “If she manages to kill more than one, if she manages to kill them all… people will notice. Humans will notice. She’d be breaking your laws. Nothing good will come of this.” 

“She may decide not to seek retribution,” Aro hummed. “She has yet to break any law.” 

“She won’t just let this go,” Bella said, knowing this to be the truth - and then playing on the only other card in her arsenal, she asked, “Would you?” Aro smiled at her. 

“Would you?” He asked in return. What was this? Another game? Bella regarded him, her thoughts in turmoil, her heart at odds. Even now, as she wanted to cuss him out, she felt the part of her that wanted him. What did that say about her? Perhaps it was this disgust at herself that made her want to hurt him back. 

“I don’t know,” she said, “but I do know that there’s a man there that I love and if she hurts him, then I’ll kill her myself.” Aro’s eyes darkened, his lips thinned. Bella knew then as she felt minutely satisfied that whatever it was she felt for him, it couldn’t be love. Hadn’t she told Edward the very same thing back in Ithaca? 

“How many you will go to lengths to, to protect,” Aro merely murmured in reply. 

“Shall we bring this to an end?” Marcus asked. Bella, for the first time, found his disinterest irritating. 

“Brother?” Aro asked, looking to Caius for his input. 

“Do what you will,” Caius replied, pensive. 

“I do believe our guest has the right to know of why she is to die,” Aro hummed. “Alec, if you will.” Irina whipped around, confused and afraid. Bella felt queasy. It was one thing to protect her friends; it was righteous… but condemning someone else to die in their place, that was different - even if it was to protect them. “New perspectives have been brought to light,” Aro smiled, as politely as ever, “and in your case, we have determined your future endeavors to make you too much of a liability.” The realization of what this meant was evident on Irina's face. Bella fought the urge to close her eyes. “Of course, should you decide not to enact-” he continued, reaching out to take her hand again. Would Irina change her mind? Bella, though continuing to feel disgusted with herself, hoped not. If she did, what was to stop her from changing it again once she left? 

Bella, however, didn’t have to worry about this for long as before Aro could make contact, Irina was already reacting to the now very obvious threat on her life. She launched Aro back across the room with one swift kick and before Bella could process what was happening, Irina was across the room, heading in the direction of the door. Despite her feeling betrayed by Aro, Bella still felt anger rip through her at seeing him attacked. This anger was new, it gave little thought to reason, and cared not for morals. She wanted her dead. 

“Alec,” she ordered again. He complied, only Irina kept running despite being unable to utilise her senses. “Felix,” she then said, at the same time as Aro who was now back on his feet, looking altogether unimpressed as he brushed down his suit jacket. Felix was fast. He caught Irina and threw her back over his shoulder before grabbing her by the neck and slamming her into the ground. The impact shattered the marble floor beneath her, cracking the skin of her cheek. Aro waved his hand in her direction and Bella saw the moment Alec’s gift lifted this time as Irina’s horrified gaze snapped back into focus. She didn’t see for long though; a second later Aro had removed her head. 

Bella starred as Irina’s body slumped over. The court was silent. 

She felt numb for a second, and then relieved, and then disgusted. 

Aro handed the head, Irina’s head , to Felix who then threw the body, her body , up over his shoulder... and then he was gone. She would be burned. Turned to ash. Sulfur.

Bella released her hand, which she’d realized was now more of a grip, from Alec’s shoulder. The realization of what had just happened was very quickly dawning on her. Irina was dead. She had wanted her to die. What was wrong with her?  

Aro turning towards her caught her attention and she held his gaze for a few long seconds, not quite seeing him. A gesture on his part was all it took for the court to empty, Caius the last to leave as he took his time to pointedly stroll past her. Bella cared little for him in that moment, despite how angry he’d made her minutes earlier. Had it really only been minutes? 

“Isabella.” 

Bella watched him, watched the way he walked towards her, carefully, knowingly . Why had he done that? You can always say no, cara.  

“Bella-” 

“No,” she said, “no.” And then she turned and she walked out of the room.

Chapter Text

 A week. 

She’d been in Volterra, in the Palazzo, for one week. Only seven days had passed since she’d gotten off the plane in Pisa, since she’d met Valentina... Valentina who was now dead, and Irina too… Bella couldn’t wrap her head around it. She told herself not to try. After all, what were two more? The Cullens and the pack had killed more to defend her prior to her time in Italy, Irina was just Bella returning the favor, wasn’t it? Bella groaned, again. Even at the height of her exhaustion, and she was exhausted after tossing and turning all night, she couldn’t bring herself to believe that. What would Carlisle say if he could see her now? If he’d seen her ask for Irina’s death last night? The horror Bella had felt when she’d realized her apathy in light of Valentina’s demise had returned and it was gnawing away at her. 

And Aro. Her mind replayed the proceedings over and over. Them arriving together, Bella leaving alone. No. What was she going to do about Aro? Within one evening, she’d gone from fearing his esteem for her, to relying on it, to desperately praying he was wrong about their bond entirely. Because the mate of a man like him, a man who would make confessions of grandeur and promises to then manipulating her so soon after… Aro’s mate would have to be as much of a bastard as he was, and that wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. But then she reminded herself that she’d hurt him on purpose, despite how close to him she’d grown over the past week, and it made her question everything she knew about herself all over again. On the battlefield, Aro had told Edward he didn’t think Bella was the same girl he’d left behind, and Bella had preened . Because he was right. But she had never thought to question what it was about her that had changed, besides the obvious maturity, the anger, and the lack of self-love. Or maybe it wasn’t anything to do with the change at all, maybe this murderous streak had been in her all along. She hadn’t felt anything but relief when James and Laurent were killed all those years ago; they’d been trying to kill her . And Victoria… Well Bella supposed she was rather overwhelmed at the time of her demise to process much; adrenaline and fear had made her ill, but she knew there was no guilt involved, no empathy. In the days that had passed, she hadn’t reflected on the battle with any remorse at all; her focus was on Carlisle and her impending rebirth. Did that speak to her true nature ? What about the newborn army that was created just to kill her? All those lives lost because of her. All those people, kids Esme had called them. Didn’t she care? 

What was wrong with her? 

It was while she was lost, dragged down by her endless thoughts, that Heidi found her on the balcony, standing over her Hellebore in Jane’s garden with a distant look in her eyes and a deep frown on her lips. It was one of the few places Bella now knew how to get to without a chaperone, and she wanted to be alone. Well, alone and distracted. Unfortunately, gardening wasn’t as captivating as she had hoped. 

“Bella?” Heidi asked. Bella glanced at her, if only to let her know she was listening. “Master Aro would like to see you.” Of course he would. Bella was surprised he’d waited so long in requesting her presence given it was nearly four in the afternoon. She wondered then, as she’d wondered all night, what he’d done after she left. How did he feel? Remorseful for forcing her hand? Guilt? She hoped so. 

“I’m busy,” Bella muttered. She had little desire to see him; not even the cold in her chest, something she’d worked out was their bond reacting to his distance, could convince her to go to him. Her head was buzzing with thoughts, with doubt, with fear and disgust. Why had he done that? Why had she done that? What was wrong with them? 

“Bella-” Heidi started, her voice sympathetic. Bella was rarely in the mood to be placated and so she repeated herself. 

Heidi left her alone. 

Bella sighed, creating condensation. It was cold but she was managing it. She’d found a coat in the wardrobe, bought for her shortly after her arrival by Valentina per Heidi’s orders. It was adequate though not exactly practical, something Bella couldn’t help but think was intentional. It was thicker than her windbreaker though so Bella had thrown it on over her jeans and green blouse, a casual outfit that she’d hoped would make her feel more herself… but it hadn’t helped. If anything, she felt more untethered. These weren’t her clothes. Her clothes had been burned up in the car she’d supposedly died in, along with all of her other belongings. How she wished she could simply curl up in her bed in Forks, if only for a minute, listening to the rain and the sound of Charlie snoring down the hall. Bella had hated her life there but at least she’d known who she was. Hadn’t she? 

She removed the gardening gloves from her hands and dropped them to the floor, still heeding Jane’s advice despite her inner crisis of dissociating thoughts. Leaning against the low wall that surrounded the balcony, she looked down over it, attempting to watch the other humans go about their day. There weren’t many on the streets, it was cold and wet; not at all the sort of weather to take comfort in while outside experiencing it. Maybe she should go back to her apartment, or maybe she should leave the Palazzo entirely… find a cafe somewhere or a bookshop... surround herself with other people, ones that might smile at her, not knowing what she’d done. But then she remembered the bar where she’d met Simon, Emily, and Leo. They’d been so overbearing, so loud and demanding of attention. Could she tolerate it in her dejected mood? Or could it be the perfect distraction? Had it really only been two days? Time didn’t feel real, but then she’d thought as much yesterday while wandering the corridors. Was Alec training again? Was Marcus watching? 

How had things changed so quickly? 

After another half hour of scarcely withstanding the dropping temperatures, Bella returned to her rooms. It was with a mixture of apprehension and, she supposed, slight satisfaction that she looked down on the leatherbound journal that had been left for her on the coffee table. A peace offering, no doubt. He’d have to try harder than that. Still, she took the folded note placed upon it and read. 

For you, my love.  

Bella rolled her eyes. She picked up the journal and opened it, curious as to what transcript he would gift her with given the circumstances. Only it wasn’t a transcription at all. On the inside of the cover were the words For the girl who loves the classics and on the first page and thereafter was Wuthering Heights in Aro’s scripture. Bella, despite her anger and betrayal, despite everything - felt her chest tighten. Why would he do this for her? When had he done this for her? Last night, after he’d forced her to condemn Irina to death… after she’d told him no , or before? Before when Bella was dreaming of him, wanting to hold his hand, blushing at the intensity of his gaze. 

Of course, you are free to try and remedy the situation on your own. Why had he done that? Why force her to speak up? Retaliate? Give counsel or whatever the fuck he wanted to call it? What was the point? To see how far she’d go? To prove something to Caius or Marcus, or the rest of the Guard? To force her to give orders? Was that it? Had she been backed into a corner, fearing for her loved ones lives, so that he could see her rule ? Bella clenched her teeth, anger and disappointment churning in her gut. She dropped the journal back on the table with its note and went to her bedroom, her head aching. But lying down didn’t help and after ten more minutes of overthinking, she got up again. Returning to the living room, she stared down at the journal, unable to help questioning Aro’s intent. Over and over again. 

What am I doing? She asked herself, acutely aware that she was making herself ill. Why was she overthinking it so much, to the point of nausea, when she could just ask him? At least then she’d know and she could be reassured in her decision to avoid him, in her decision to refuse him. 

It was with this decision in mind that she left her apartment again, and headed to the courtroom. 

At first, she thought it was empty. It made sense given Aro had requested to see her; she doubted he would be there, that he would invite her back to court quite so soon. However, Bella wasn’t confident in her ability to locate his apartment on her own, if he was even there, which left her only other option being Heidi. Heidi, who she knew was likely to be on reception outside . Heidi, who she would have gone to immediately if she hadn’t been wholly distracted by Caius saying her name. Well, sort of . 

“Lady Isabella.” Bella, half way through the hall, stopped and with sudden trepidation, turned. He was sitting on his throne, alone upon the dias; his eyes pensive. As unnerving as it was to see him, Bella still found relief in that he wasn’t glaring. At least, not yet. Not knowing what to address him as, she decided not to reply but he waited expectantly and after a minute of uncomfortable silence, Bella conceded. 

“Master Caius,” she replied, warily. He didn’t strike her as the kind of King who encouraged informalities. His eyes narrowed. 

“I have given some thought to your counsel yesterday evening,” he said, and when Bella opened her mouth to interrupt, with what she wasn’t sure, he held up his hand. “Do not interrupt me.” She bristled but nevertheless, she closed her mouth. “I find you entirely too impertinent and an unneeded distraction, however last night you acted with conviction and while I detest the loyalty in which it stemmed from, I admire your ability to see it through.” Bella’s surprise showed on her face. “Do not think this a compliment,” he sneered, “it is merely a reminder that should you stay, you will be expected to act as such again. Only next time, your loyalty will be only to us.” 

“Is that a threat?” Bella asked. Was he hinting at something happening to the Cullens? To the pack? Or was this just a way to intimidate her? Perhaps he wanted her to leave, then she wouldn’t be such an impertinent distraction . 

“No,” Caius smiled. It was worse than his glare. “It is a promise.” Bella wanted to question him or, at the very least, tell him to stop being so fragile… She could, if she wanted to stay, have more than one coven that she was loyal to, but she also wanted to keep her head firmly on her shoulders therefore she made the decision not to test Caius’ restraint while they were alone. “Though I do trust, in future, you will forgo the hypocrisy. You do not appear to be completely witless , you must know that the Cullens are more of a liability than their dearest Irina.” The mention of Irina made Bella’s gut twist in disgust but she refused to show it on her face lest Caius’ words be some sort of test. “You wish to become a vampire, you proclaim it is a matter of destiny, and yet you defend the very coven that has denied you this existence time and time again, a coven that threatens the very laws you have chosen to uphold.” Less than a month ago, Bella would have had no reason to disagree with him; the Cullens had abandoned her, refused her being changed all those years ago, on the wishes of Edward. Their loyalty was to him. But since then, they’d… made some amends and Bella wasn’t heartless. Yes, their past actions still infuriated her and it was a well known fact that she wouldn't join their coven, not officially, but that didn’t mean she was indifferent to their suffering, to their deaths. “Tell me... what will you choose in the end? Immortality? Power, the very likes of which your human mind is too feeble to comprehend? Or them?” For someone so insistent that she was stupid , he was acting incredibly dense himself. Who could inspire loyalty with threats? Didn’t he know you caught more flies with honey? Or did he truly not care one way or another who she chose? Why bring it up at all if that was the case? 

“What makes you so sure that I have to make a choice?” 

“Perhaps you are more witless than I thought,” Caius sneered. Bella grit her teeth, her fists clenched by her sides. “Your family opposes the very value of our existence, they put themselves needlessly into the sight of humans time and time again and for what reason? To fool themselves into believing they are something they are not. It is selfish and a pitiful performance, one which could at any time expose us to humans. One which has already - to you. Aro finds entertainment in it. I do not.” 

“Carlisle is Aro’s friend,” Bella refuted.

“Ah, yes. Friend .” Caius smirked. “Aro has had many friends during his rule. Many of these friendships have expired for one reason or another. Carlisle’s will be no different. It is inevitable that one day he or one of his coven will do something irredeemable. Is your loyalty so infallible that you would die with them?” 

“Inevitable,” Bella repeated. Was it? 

“As inevitable as Irina’s exposure.” Ah, yes. Inevitable. A promise. “Something to think about.” Bella didn’t want to be dismissed, she wanted to ask him what his real problem was. Was he jealous that Aro had loyalty towards someone else, someone not his coven, or was it the mere principle that Caius’ feelings on the matter had been disregarded? Instead of asking this, however, well aware that he was looking for more reason to insult her, she gave him a rather sarcastic bow and turned, continuing on in the direction she’d been walking, the addition of his threat increasing the buzzing in her head. A part of her hoped that she wouldn’t need to return through the courtroom again until Caius was gone, that Aro was locatable via a different route, but the weightier, more vengeful part of her wanted to goade Caius into biting her now, so that in three days time she could throw him through a wall. 

Her hope prevailed. Aro was in the library. Alone. At least, he had been before she’d shown up. The public that Bella knew usually had access to the above-ground parts of the Palazzo had been shut out; an irregularity that brought relief when she realized she wouldn’t have to move their discussion someplace else. 

Aro stood before Adoration of the Shepherds , hands behind his back. When she approached, she thought she knew what she was going to say, how she would instigate the conversation, but the sight of him threw her. He was wearing the same suit from the evening before, his hair still tied back, and if Bella hadn’t felt the time pass, she was certain the sight of him could have convinced her it hadn’t. He didn’t acknowledge her arrival, nor her presence when she stopped to stand beside him. The two of them looked up at the painting in silence for a few minutes. Aro, waiting. Bella, conflicted. At least she was until he said her name, “ Isabella- ,” and she was acutely reminded of how he’d said it the night before. 

“Why?” She asked. “Why give me the journal? What did you possibly have to gain from manipulating me?” 

“It is a gift, cara,” he murmured, “so that you might be reminded of who you are.” Bullshit. He didn’t know who she was. If he did, he’d have known not to push her. “Isabella, I cannot force you to- ” 

“It’s a performance. You manipulated me,” she glared, turning towards him, instigating him to turn as well. He looked at her with solemn eyes, his brow furrowed, lips pressed tightly together. “You lied. You said, not even an hour before, that you would strive to be nothing less than I deserve. How are you any different to him? Is that what you think I deserve? Is trying to buy back my affection?” Bella took a step back as Aro reached out to her. “Don’t touch me.” She turned, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes as she paced forwards. 

“I did not intend to upset you, mia cara ,”  he said softly, “though I confess I did know, at the time of my decision, that there was a very real possibility of me doing so. I know well your aversion to gifts. ” Bella turned to glare at him, he knew damn well that this wasn’t about the journal , but she let him continue when he held up his hands in surrender. She wanted an explanation, after all. “Caius requested both our presence last night in order to see how you would react. I cannot pretend I was not curious myself.”

“So, what? You were both testing me?”

“Yes,” he replied, matter of fact. For a second, Bella thought he was inferring it was obvious; that she should have anticipated as much, and it brought her blood to boiling point, but then his face took on an expression of regret and her glare faltered. She was conflicted. On one hand, she knew she was getting better at recognizing his more authentic expressions, but on the other, she’d thought his sincerity the night before had been, well… sincere, and look how that had turned out. How could she trust him? 

Aro, seeing the mélange of emotions on her face, took the silence as an opportunity to explain himself. Or, at least, that’s what Bella had expected him to do. “Contrary to what many believe, governing our kind is not such an ordained affair. Yes, there is punishment when the laws are broken. But there too are often times when we come into knowledge of a particular nomad or coven that, though they are not necessarily acting against us, are close to and are as such considered liabilities . That is when we come together and deliberate. There is so rarely an occasion wherein we unanimously agree. A decision could very well take years to be agreed and in some cases, it could even be decided that we are to wait and see how the situation plays out.” Was that why he had turned up late to the battle in Forks? To see if the newborn army would kill the Cullens? “We each bring with us an essential perspective. Caius is a formidable strategist, his mind is sharp; his approach ruthless. Marcus - he has always seen the bigger picture, and while he is often disinterested, he sees things one might often miss, and he makes for a good mediator.” A much needed mediator, Bella imagined. 

“Why are you telling me this?” 

“If you decide to stay, bambina , you would be choosing to rule alongside us. Your perspective, it could potentially alter outcomes.” Like whether or not to kill Carlisle and his family? If she stayed, ruled, could she stop Caius? “I know , that should you decide to, you will be sublime . Truly, a Queen like no other. Last night was testament to this. The way you gave orders, utilized our guard; you are a natural.” 

“I reacted to the threat,” Bella disagreed. “That hardly makes me sovereign material. I didn’t do it for the good of vampire-kind.” 

“True, you had a personal stake in the matter, but you also showed your ability to strategize and respond under pressure. You looked at your arsenal and you made your case. This is this side of you I wished for Caius to see.” Who cared what Caius thought of her? Even after the fact, he still felt the need to insult her intelligence - repeatedly. “You are driven by your emotions, tesoro . Those that you allow and disallow yourself to feel. Caius believes, though less so now to an extent, that this makes you weak.” Bella narrowed her eyes. “Emotions, as you well know, can lead to impulsive reactions but I do not believe this is a weakness. I see the fire in you, bella . I saw it when you defied Edward, I saw it last night.” 

“Being betrayed tends to piss me off, yeah,” Bella bit.  

“If that is what brings it forth.” What was that supposed to mean? 

“You don’t think I feel betrayed?” 

“I do,” he replied, having the audacity to look despondent. “However, I do not believe this is what empowers you - and it is empowerment, Isabella. You come alive. It is… invigorating . The potential you would surmount if you would only let yourself feel without reservation.” He walked towards her as he spoke, his eyes captivating in their intensity, his desire for Bella to believe him unmistakeable. She felt nervous. Bella had… asked for Irina to die and he spoke as if it was a good thing. He should be disgusted. Her other half , her soul mate, should be disgusted. 

“What I did… Irina. That was wrong.” Bella clenched her fists as she spoke, her nails digging sharply into her palms; forcing herself to feel the reality of her own words. She knew it was wrong to kill and she knew Irina didn’t deserve such a rash judgment resulting in her death. But Bella was still finding it hard to feel the right way. She did feel guilty, that was for certain, but she suspected, with much self-disgust, that it stemmed more from the act of doing something she knew wasn’t very Cullen .

“And do you regret your decision?” Distress entered Bella’s eyes. No . And that was the biggest problem, wasn’t it? Because if she did feel truly guilty, she would feel remorse. But Bella knew she would do it again and again if it meant knowing the wolves and the Cullens, and Charlie, were safe. Aro, being as perceptive as he was, even without the utility of his gift, smiled softly. Knowingly . “ Then what is it that really troubles you, amore ?” He asked, as if he could see directly into the deepest, darkest corners of her mind, pursuing the buried depths that she, herself, had scarcely allowed herself to venture for fear of what she might find. Bella, anxious as to what he might discover there, closed her eyes. 

Irina was dead - that was her fault - it was wrong. Charlie would be horrified - Carlisle too. Hell, for all she knew, maybe the entire coven would be; Bella wasn’t quite sure how close to the Denalis they were. And what about the Denalis? Would the rest of Irina’s coven retaliate? Would the Cullens join them, even if Bella had defended them?  

Bella rubbed her eyes, she knew what she was doing; she was thinking up more questions, more problems - to hide the truth, to avoid looking at what she was afraid to see, but the glaringly obvious truth was that the only reason she felt guilty at all was because she didn’t want her loved ones to think badly of her. It was selfish and callous, and so unlike the girl her parents had wanted to raise. “Talk to me, bella ,” Aro murmured. 

Aro. What was she going to do about Aro? He had admitted to manipulating her, actually backing her into a corner where she was forced to give orders - to rule - just so he could prove something. He could have just spoken to her like a reasonable person. Or would she have simply shut the conversation down from the get go? Ruling, she knew, wasn’t for her; she wasn’t a Queen, she wasn’t a judge, jury, and executioner. What part of her had Aro seen that had convinced him she could be? Yes, some aspect of her knew that reaching out to Alec last night had been instinctual, she had seen how he had brought Demetri to a standstill when training the day before, and yes she had felt proud when she’d influenced his combat technique for the better, but that didn’t mean she could boss people around. She hated being told what to do herself; hated people making decisions for her. Wouldn’t ruling be the biggest act of hypocrisy? Or was that condemning Irina but defending the Cullens? Could she bring herself to stay, to be called Mistress, just to protect them from Caius? Were they worth potentially sacrificing her morals for? 

Bella wasn’t naive, if she stayed, there would be a time or even many times in the future, where she didn’t agree with what the Volturi were doing. Could she stop them? Not on her own, no. But then perhaps if she annoyed Caius for long enough, he might growl so hard he’d turn himself to dust. Or maybe, just maybe, Aro had been right to test her. Maybe Bella could, somehow, in future, gain enough of Caius’ respect that she could convince him to leave the Cullens alone. Was that even achievable? 

Aro startled Bella out of her spiralling thoughts by placing a gentle hand against her cheek, and Bella, despite hating herself for it, couldn’t help but lean into him. The fact that she could bring herself to, given what he’d done - what’d he admitted to doing, made her stomach cramp. She wanted to be wrong about him. And what if he was right?  

“You manipulated me,” she eventually repeated, scarcely above a whisper. 

“You could have let her go, cara ,” he murmured, speaking the words Bella’s conscience had fought valiantly not to confront. She could have. She could have let Irina go. 

“ You would have let her?” 

“No.” Bella’s eyes shot open. “You were correct in your counsel. Irina was a liability and now she is not.” 

“What would you have done then? If I’d disagreed?” 

“I would have killed her anyway,” he replied. Bella’s brow furrowed - his response shattered what she hoped she might have been able to achieve for the Cullens should she have decided to stay. 

“Then why involve me at all?” 

“To show everyone, as well as yourself, that you are capable of making tough decisions, cara . It is only when we confront our hidden parts, that we can begin to see ourselves whole. You are not broken, amore mio . You are certainly not unlovable. To me, you are perfect.” Bella closed her eyes again, her chest aching. 

“How can you even think that?” She asked. How could he still want her? “After what I said… I told you I love Jake. I only said that to hurt you.” 

“You were angry with me,” he smiled softly, altogether far too understanding for Bella to comprehend.  

“I said no .” 

“ Il mio eterno amore ,” he breathed, “if you had meant it, we should have both felt it the moment our bond was broken.” Bella realized with embarrassment that she hadn’t even thought about that. Her thoughts had been so continuously overwrought with reactive emotions, she’d only picked up on how incredibly cold she was when she’d woken up. If what Aro had said about her first mate-bond with Edward was true, her answer to Aro last night would have left her in a world of pain; the likes of which she’d told herself she never wanted to experience again. Those months after Edward left, hell those years… they were empty. She was empty. She couldn’t go through that again, but that meant it was too late now, didn’t it? If she didn’t want to lose herself again, she had to stay with Aro. Where did that leave her? Who would it make her? Isabella, the mate of one of the most notorious Vampires in existence? A man feared by most of his own kind? Would they call her Queen? Mistress ? It sounded too absurd to truly comprehend.  

“You aren’t even a little bit mad?” She asked, a small part of her wondering what it would take to get him there. If attempting to hurt him on purpose didn’t rile him up, and telling him she didn’t want him after he’d put himself out there, then what did she have to do? What got under his skin? 

“How could I be angry when you have made me so proud, cara ?” Proud of her for sentencing Irina for him. Proud of her for making him right in his disagreement with Caius. Bella shook her head in disbelief.

“I passed your test then.” 

“As I knew you would.” And didn’t his praise just make her feel valued . Bella wanted to slap herself. 

“I wish you wouldn’t test me at all,” she replied, pulling away from his hand. “I just- I don’t understand you.” One second he was telling her he was in love with her - something she’d found so hard to believe even after all his attentive kindness.  And then he was, what? Playing with her? Was it a game after all? 

“I have given you much to consider,” he surmised, and took a deep, performative breath. “I regret that there could not have been more time between the events of our evening.” Bella regarded him, somewhat skeptically, unsure if the events he was referring to were his Declarations and Irina , or if he was only disappointed because they were going to… he was going to… she blushed. Aro smiled. “Yes, the timing was most disappointing.” The confirmation earned an even darker blush and a glare from Bella before she looked away.

“Maybe if you hadn’t been such an asshole, we’d have still made it to the restaurant,” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest.

“I hope not,” he murmured, and Bella couldn’t help but look at him then, as much as it made her insides knot. “I’ve always preferred to eat in.” Fuck. Bella inhaled sharply and then, hoping it was responsive enough, she rolled her eyes. The aggravating truth was that it did exactly what he wanted it to; it turned her on. Fuck. Bella felt as though every worried thought, every stretch of tension, every ounce of substantiated anger was falling through her hands like sand. 

“I’m still… angry with you,” she said, though not so convincingly. She was. She was . But, fuck, fuck! , her body was traitorous. 

“Is that so?” He asked, clearly enjoying himself. “Then allow me, Miss Swan, to make it up to you.” Bella knew she should tell him to go to hell, tell him he had to explain himself more- explain himself better… but then the traitorously horny voice in her head spoke up, reasoning that if he was going to make it up to her, because she knew she was going to have to forgive him eventually, wouldn’t this be a really, really good way to do it? Didn’t she want to forgive him? Had what he done really been all that bad? Everything had turned out her way in the end anyway, right? All her loved ones were safe. He’d told her not to worry. 

It was not lost on Bella that her thoughts stemmed from lust, that even her brain was not infallible to the way he was looking at her right then and as he stepped in to close the distance between them completely; Bella found herself relaxing her arms so that he might have better access . She could always yell at him some more later. 

Every rational, and irrational , thought left her then. It was as if Aro had effectively pressed mute on every one of Bella’s thoughts - the buzzing, it ceased, lifting the tension from her shoulders and the ache from her temples. Standing only in the moment, there was just him and his lips on hers, and the smell of him; rosewood and honey with something else, something bitter like grapefruit - and the cold of his skin burning against hers. He tasted like copper, the hint of metallic should have been startling, but there was also something else, something she couldn’t help but think was just him, and she wanted more . 

His hands were everywhere, one second cupping her chin, securing her by the back of her neck, the next he was trailing his thumb down over her breast, her clothes scarcely a barrier to the temperature of his skin. It elicited a sharp inhale, one that made him smile into their kiss. Bella, wishing to repay him in kind, waited until he did it again before moaning, her hands twisted up into his hair, tugging it gently. Within the next second, Aro lifted her up so that her legs could wrap around his waist, and she felt her pussy respond to both the anticipation and the newfound friction. 

“M ia dea , how responsive you are,” Aro hummed, breaking their kiss to speak and then resuming it but on her neck. Bella gasped again, her grip in his hair tightening. 

“If you want my forgiveness, you better hurry up,” Bella breathed. Aro growled, the vibration of which Bella felt tremor through her. She didn’t register that she was on her back until she felt Aro’s nose press into the crevice between her breasts, her head against the floor, his waist still tightly within her thighs. The pressure of want, of need, was so severe already that she couldn’t help lifting her hips in order to create friction. It was he who moaned this time and fuck , did she want to hear it again. 

“Forgive me, tesoro ,” he murmured. “ Potrei immergermi nel tuo profumo per l'eternità, il ritmo del tuo cuore rimarrà con me per sempre .” Bella knew not what he was saying, and in the moment, she didn’t care to ask. His accent was so pronounced, his voice low and desperate, and so ultimately arousing. 

“Aro,” she breathed, rocking up against him again. “Please.” 

“What do you need, cara ?” 

“Touch me.” 

“Where, bambina ? Show me .” 

Bella might have, at some point in the past, felt too shy. It certainly made her face feel hot and her throat dry, and she could feel her pulse thrumming in her wrist. But she wasn’t afraid to let him see; she wanted him to. Her thighs relaxed around him, her feet finding the floor as she bent her knees. It was a little awkward to reach down given her position on the floor but Bella managed, lifting up only once as she pushed her jeans down just far enough for them not to be in the way. Aro was watching her hands as if he’d never been more captivated, his eyes completely black with hunger. Bella shivered, drawing his gaze to hers’ only for her to then close her eyes, her head tilting back as she slid two fingers between her labia, making much needed contact with her clit. 

Her chest trembled as her breath continuously hitched, her cunt getting wetter by the second, desperate for something to contract around. Bella immediately found her rhythm, rubbing herself beneath the fabric of her panties, her other hand brought up under her blouse to gently squeeze her left breast. She lost herself in building her own climax, fueled on by need, desperate for relief. Her fingers were too slick, her clit wasn’t getting enough friction and so she switched to rubbing through her panties instead, her back arching slightly as she neared the height of which masturbation alone could take her. 

“ Sei una visione , bella ,” Aro groaned, gently taking her wrist. Bella almost whined in frustration, opening her eyes only in time to see his head lower. The sound she made next was louder than she’d anticipated but then her mind was short-circuiting and so she forgot how to feel anything but his tongue, the temperature of which felt positively mindblowing in comparison to her heat. Bella removed her hand from her shirt in order to grasp the empty air above her head, desperate for something to hold onto, something to grip. When nothing could be found, she settled for crossing her arms above her head and using her thighs on either side of Aro’s head to tether her. His hands found her hips and tightened, holding her in place, and Bella couldn’t help but hope he left bruises. The steady stroke of his tongue matched the pace at which Bella had been touching herself perfectly, only it was better. He brought the pressure she couldn’t achieve on her own, the temperature, the sight of him eating her out. Bella felt her toes curl, her back arch. 

“Aro,” she moaned, desperate for something more. She wanted to feel him inside of her, wanted to thrust her hips back on him, wanted her fingers in his hair. “ God … please,” she whimpered, “I need you- need to feel you- in me.” 

Despite her plea, she was still disappointed when he pulled away, though he didn’t give her long to despair. 

“I cannot promise not to hurt you, Isabella,” he said, leaning over her, his eyes drawn at first to her neck, then her lips, then her eyes. Bella stared up at him, trying to process what he was saying. Hurting her to an extent was thrilling. Breaking her bones, not so. Would he bite her? Change her? Kill her? 

No . No, she couldn’t convince herself he would. Aro was many things, some she wasn’t sure she was going to like, but he wasn’t reckless. He wouldn’t chance her life if he thought for a moment that he might kill her. 

“I trust you,” she replied. His smile was as dangerous as it was promising. The kiss after even more so. Bella wasn’t entirely adverse to the taste of herself on his lips, but she was to the pace. This time, she was the one to break it. “Are you gonna fuck me or not?” 

“So impatient,” he murmured, smiling again. Bella was about to glare when, in the next second, she found herself to be situated bridal-carry style in his arms. She closed her eyes and held on tight as he began to run, moving faster than her eyes could keep up with as he carried her through the Palazzo. In less than a minute, he was putting her down onto a much more comfortable surface. Bella opened her eyes, not that she could see much. Unafflicted by the darkness, Aro’s lips found hers again, this time with urgency, and Bella trembled beneath him. 

“Light,” she gasped when he, once again, switched to her neck; sucking on the pressure point just beneath her throat. Bella moaned, her hands gripping the satin bed sheets beneath her fingers. Her request was forgotten while he worked there, along with every other thought she might have had. It wasn’t until she felt the friction of her jeans on her legs that she realized he was undressing her. She kicked off her shoes, shifting underneath him in order to sit up, forcing him to make space lest she accidentally hit him in the darkness. The sconces flared to life just as she was lifting her shirt up over her head. Aro looked positively predatory as he stood at the foot of his bed, watching her. Bella swallowed despite both her mouth and throat being completely dry. She hadn't given much thought to what she looked like but she hoped, despite her sitting there on the bed in her bra and with her jeans bunched up around her ankles, that she still looked desirable. 

“A vision,” Aro murmured, as if reading the flicker of self-consciousness in her eyes. Bella smiled. She peeled her jeans off the rest of the way, her now torn panties removed with them. Aro was watching her with rapt attention as she slowly unclasped her bra and slipped her arms from the straps, lowering her last piece of clothing to the bed beside her. She held her breath under his gaze, allowing him a few long seconds to simply look. If she wasn’t so ready for him, she might have given him longer but as it was...

“Your turn,” she said, and then she added, “your Majesty,” in hopes it might encourage his hasty response. 

“ Qualsiasi cosa per te .” Bella watched, captivated, as he removed his tie, and then jacket, and then shirt. His hair was a stark contrast to the pale complexion of his skin as it hung down over his shoulders, now free from the hair tie Bella had no doubt displaced during her earlier exploration. Her eyes roamed his torso, taking in the toned ridges of his stomach and the top of what looked to be a prominent inguinal crease with renewed hunger. Aro stepped out of his shoes with a graceful ease and Bella huffed quietly in impatience, knowing fine well he was teasing her. 

“Don’t tell me you need help,” she said quietly, her tone one of sarcasm. 

“Would you like to help me, Isabella?” 

“You know what I’d like,” she replied, watching the way his fingers slowly unbuttoned his trousers, the bulge in them promising . 

“You want me to fuck you.” Even if Bella hadn’t already been aroused as hell, she was certain without a doubt that hearing him say those words would have gotten her wet. His slacks fell gently from his waist, and for a second, Bella thought he might tortue her further by stepping out of them and making another show of removing his briefs. Fortunately for her, he wasn’t wearing any. Instead, she got to see him in all his glory , and she wasn’t disappointed. Dark fine hair started beneath the dip of his belly button, trailing down into the thick curls that framed his long, hard , circumcised cock. Bella couldn’t help but wonder what he tasted like. 

“Are you going to?” Bella asked, glancing back up to meet his gaze. 

A smile stretched over her teeth in the next second as Aro appeared closer, leaning into her until she lay back, his arms supporting his weight on either side of her head. The length of his body against hers’ made her twitch, the unmistakable, unavoidable , difference in their skin temperature caused goosebumps to rise across her arms. 

“Comfortable, cara ?” 

“Stop talking,” Bella ordered, pushing up to meet him, capturing his mouth with her own. She smiled as he moved between her thighs, victorious. The press of his cock against her stomach was a significant reminder that it wasn’t just his silence she was getting. He returned her kiss with a passion that spoke of reciprocated desire and Bella’s fingers once more made their way into his hair. Aro broke away to murmur something in Italian but Bella’s ears scarcely heard it, and once he started pressing kisses down her neck, she forgot he’d said anything at all. 

His lips on her jugular brought about the same vocalized approval as earlier and when his fingers slipped between her thighs, her head tilted back and she clenched her eyes shut. His rhythm was perfect, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted- she needed- 

Bella released one of her hands from his hair and reached down to take hold of his hand, pushing it lower, a silent instruction that she hoped he would understand. He was gloriously receptive, and brilliant . So fucking brilliant. Her hips moved accordingly, eager to meet the length of his fingers, desperate to consume them. Her hands reached up to find an anchor, only the lip of the headboard was too high and so she could only scratch at the felt material. 

“Do you want me, Isabella ?” 

“More than anything,” she moaned. 

The weight of the bed shifted as Aro, for a brief second, disappeared, and a gust of air was blown across the room, still settling over Bella’s skin once he’d returned. Her body tensed as she felt his thighs caress the back of hers, and then his cock was pushing into her, slowly stretching her cunt to fit. Bella felt her body come alive, her hypersensitive skin sweating against the smooth fabric of the bed beneath her, the wispy strands of her hair tickling her forehead. She could feel how hot her cheeks were in comparison to the rest of her body, felt the burn in her lungs as she fought to take in enough air. Her nipples were aching with both arousal and cold, she ceased her attack on the headboard in order to nip at them; her cunt tightening around Aro’s cock in response. 

“ Perfetto, Isabella, sei perfetta ,” Aro groaned. Bella didn’t hesitate in thrusting against him, forcing his cock the rest of the way. They responded audibly in unison. Bella’s toes curled and her thighs tightened on either side of his rolling hips. 

He moved within her, over and over, and over again. It was everything Bella had been waiting for. It felt incredible. More than incredible. Better than incredible. She could scarcely breathe as it was but that didn’t stop her from returning Aro’s kiss with fervor. The sound of the headboard hitting back against the wall, the mattress shifting beneath them as he pounded into her, and her sharp intakes and exhales of breath, made Bella feel delirious as blood rushed to her head. His thrusts weren’t entirely without pain , she knew... could feel that she would suffer for their conduct later, but in the moment it only added to the pleasure . She wrapped her arms around his neck, glad to finally have something to hold onto , wishing she could dig her nails into his skin, and let the building feeling of ecstasy wash over her. 

Again, and again, and again. 

And wasn’t it magnifico ? 

She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Aro had to sit up, his grip on the headboard, unable to help snapping parts off. It was fast, and loud, and wholly consuming- it was- it was-

“Aro,” Bella cried out between panting. A warning. A promise. 

“ Isabella ,” he replied, her name scarcely audible above the sound of the furniture breaking. Bella knew she was close, could feel it, wanted it, needed it . She just needed to be pushed over the edge. 

“Hurt me,” she begged. “Please. Please-” but he didn’t. Instead his hand found her throat and it was in that moment that Bella realized just how much it turned her on as she felt him begin to cum inside of her, and her own orgasm shattered what little was left of her comprehension. Her thoughts were paralyzed, leaving her only able to feel; her body freefalling from the greatest height she’d ever ventured, her lungs scarcely remembering how to fill. She felt numb but in a good way, the oxytocin release creating a monumental buzz , the kind that enveloped her entire body. Her skin felt foreign to her, stretched over her bones, simultaneously hot and cold, and tense and relaxed, and sore. 

The afterglow was slow as it came to its fruition, and Bella was vaguely aware that she was cocooned within a soft, fur blanket with Aro beside her. Despite their divide by the weighted fabric, undoubtedly an attempt to warm her up, Bella still felt his presence beside her; his arms holding her to his chest. The more she came to, the more stiff and sore, and tired she felt. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion, it was mental and emotional too. Trying to process all of the events from yesterday, coupled with how little she managed to sleep, had left her overwhelmed and she hadn’t realized quite how much until the niggling thoughts tried to start up again. She never had asked about Heidi’s behavior. Vampires really were very confusing. Why couldn’t they just say what they meant? 

“Rest, cara ,” Aro murmured, as if able to hear her thoughts starting up again, his voice gentle in her ear. Bella exhaled slowly, relaxing. She could think about it later. She would have eternity to ask her questions, after all. Eternity to question him . 

Just as she was drifting off, her ringtone cut through the silence of the room, and Bella groaned. The offending noise had startled her from the cusp of oblivion, and she considered ignoring it out of spite - she was tired, after all. But only a few people had her number and if they were calling, if Alice was calling… Well then Bella knew she would have a reason. She huffed as she struggled to sit up, the blanket heavy on her used limbs. When Aro handed her the coat she’d discarded on the floor, she smiled weakly and retrieved the cell from the pocket. 

Alice. 

“Alice,” she greeted, answering it. It didn’t occur to her until that moment that Alice could have been calling about Irina… It sobered up the last of her buzz. 

“Edward knows,” Alice said, her voice taut with anxiety. “I tried to reason with him, Bella. But… he wouldn’t listen to me. He’s on his way to Volterra.”

Chapter Text

Bella wasted little time in getting ready when she woke up the next morning. Alice had called a little after six the evening before which meant, even with changes, Edward would arrive at the Palazzo within the next few hours. She needed to think about what she would say to him but her thoughts continuously circled back around to the fact that she had woken up in her own bed, alone. Focus, Bella . 

Edward would be upset, possibly even angry. She would need to mollify him long enough so that she could warn him about Caius and stress that he shouldn’t do anything else to bring attention to Carlisle and his family. Unfortunately, it was Edward she was going to be telling this to and he had a history of ignoring her - and of pissing her off. She would have to play her cards right; Edward was still in love with her, he had said he would earn her forgiveness no matter what it took. Staying away was a pretty good place to start, even if she had no real intention to forgive him at all. What would Aro say? Would he tell Edward that she was his mate? Bella supposed he would. Why had he brought her back once she was asleep? 

What was he doing now? Was he preparing for Edward’s arrival too? Was he working? She rubbed her chest as a chill ran through her. No part of her regretted having sex with him, but she was worried in case he was now under the impression he could manipulate her in future, so long as he promised to make it up to her after. She was also slightly embarrassed, mostly because, well, it had happened in a palace full of vampires with extraordinary senses, but also because Aro would remember their first time with complete clarity forever- remember her being fragile and easily bruised, and perhaps a little too vocal, and not to mention, sweaty. But he’d enjoyed it, hadn’t he? He must have done. Bella!  

Would he want to sleep with her again? Stop!  

Right, Edward.  

Bathing was wonderfully medicinal and Bella spent time soaking in the hot water, letting it soothe her muscles and her aches. She knew it wasn’t the best use of her time given Edward could arrive at any minute, but good Lord , she was sore. Her thighs hurt the most, the insides of which she could see were practically black. The ache in her hips was the second most noticeable, and then her neck. At least these areas were easy to avoid touching, her thighs, however, impacted the speed at which she could move and she felt every tightening of their muscles. She had yet to take a proper look at herself so once her water turned cold and her thoughts began to circulate again, she got out and made her way into the closet. Stepping up onto the podium was not happening but that was fine, Bella could see the state of her body well enough. 

It looked bad. In contrast to Aro’s handiwork , the rest of her skin looked pasty. If it wasn’t for the unmistakable form of hand prints on her waist, it might have looked like a convincing portrayal of her faked death. There was no way she could let Edward, or anyone else for that matter, see the bruises, even if she had gotten them consensually - even if they made her smile as she remembered Aro’s hands tightening on her hips and around her throat. Edward would freak out. She needed to wear something concealing.

She was shit out of luck though, as it happened. After an incredibly thorough look through her closet, Bella discovered with mounting disappointment that nothing she owned would sufficiently hide the hickeys on her neck. For fucks’ sake , she was going to have to show Heidi, wasn’t she? The thought of it alone made her squirm. What would she think? Would she say anything? 

Bella pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes. 

Heidi’s arrival at eight on the dot was, as usual, announced by a knock at the door. Bella was still standing in her bedroom, now clad in blue skinny jeans and a vest top, overwhelmed with mortification. She would usually go and open the door herself and permit Heidi into her apartment like she would do if the other woman had been human, but today she simply couldn’t bring herself to do so, so instead she called out a weary, “come in.” The door opened and Bella listened as her breakfast was laid out on the table, her thoughts screaming at her to stop being such a coward and to get out there. It was the reminder that Heidi would simply leave that spurred Bella into motion, afraid she might not see her again in time to ask for help. 

Heidi was waiting patiently by the table when Bella entered. Her eyes immediately drawn to Bella’s neck, making her stammer. “I, uh, was wondering if you had a top or something I could borrow. Something with full coverage .” Heidi smiled, the kind of smile that spoke of great amusement, dimples forming in her cheeks. It made Bella groan and she covered her face with her hands, again . 

“Leave it with me, Mistress,” she replied, causing Bella to drop her hands and shoot her a horrified look. 

“Bella,” she corrected. “Please, just Bella. I’m not… ordering you. I just- we’re friends, right? I just need help.” Heidi’s smile softened into something fond. 

“Of course, Bella. I’ll find you something.” 

“Thank you.” Heidi accepted her gratitude with a nod and then left, leaving Bella to chew on her lip for a few minutes, agonising over the possibility that the rest of the Guard might also assume she was now acting under a new title. She couldn’t exactly blame them, she hadn’t been remotely quiet last night, and didn’t that just make her want to skip town entirely. Not yet . 

After snapping herself out of her thoughts, Bella allowed herself to be seduced by her breakfast. She’d barely eaten anything yesterday, her hunger outmatched by the whirlwind of emotion and deafening thoughts. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t still anxious; Edward’s impending arrival made her feel queasy, but she was not going to let herself starve over Edward Cullen, not again. 

Heidi had brought her poached eggs on toast, fresh fruit, and a cinnamon danish; most of which Bella ate and then washed down with two cups of coffee. What could she say to him to make him see reason? Was there anything? She wanted there to be, but after witnessing his behaviour over the past few weeks; he’d given no evidence to suggest he would listen to her at all. She knew his invitation for her to return with him to Ithaca was inevitable. As was his change of heart. Would he grant her immortality if it meant keeping her from Aro? 

Edward knows.  

Bella huffed. What Edward knew of and what Edward understood were two very different things. 

After Alice’s call, Bella had succumbed once more to her thoughts despite how desperately her body yearned for sleep. She had felt almost bad for Edward, finding out the way he did, but then she’d also felt relieved. He needed to let her go and if proof was what it took to make him understand she wasn’t in love with him, that she wasn’t ever going to be in love with him again, then be that as it may. Let him come to Volterra, let him see her enjoying her stay, enjoying her company. 

Aro had ordered food and wine to be brought to her while she processed the newly approaching wave of unease, but Bella had scarcely touched any of it. Instead, she had lain beside him in front of the lit fireplace and run her fingers through his hair, lulling herself with the repetitive motion until she could no longer fight to stay awake. 

Why had he brought her back?  

It was bordering on nine when a knock at the door broke her from her stupor. Bella, once again, called out for Heidi to come in. Only it wasn’t Heidi. When the door opened and Aro stepped through, Bella’s heart picked up substantially. She shot to her feet, having been lying on the couch, and then winced; her own sudden movement giving her hips reason to object. Aro looked amused by her antics which only made Bella’s face warmer. 

“Good morning, amore mio ,” he greeted once she was recovered enough to smile tightly at him. She was pleased to see him, even with the troubled thoughts still churning at the back of her mind. What was he doing here?  

“Has Edward arrived?” She asked, forgoing any small talk. 

“Not as of yet,” he replied. “If dear Alice is to be believed, they should arrive tomorrow morning at the earliest.” Oh. Bella’s shoulders instantaneously relaxed and she sighed. Tomorrow. Caius would still be around, no doubt looking forward to the day's activity, but at least she now had had more time to work out what she was going to say to Edward. 

“Is it just them?” 

“Along with her mate.” Jasper. Good , Bella nodded to herself. Jasper would keep him and Caius calm, maybe even be able to influence Edward into leaving. “This reassures you.” 

“That Edward will be marginally less of a prick, yeah,” Bella murmured. “Or, at least, less reactive to this,” she added, gesturing between the two of them. Aro smirked, making Bella groan quietly to herself. “I know you’re enjoying this. Just- promise me you won’t antagonise him. Caius doesn’t need a reason.” 

“Ah,” Aro hummed. “Be assured, Isabella ; I will not say anything to upset him further.” Bella shot him an unimpressed look. “Given that our guests will not arrive till tomorrow, I thought you and I might spend some more time together.” Bella’s brows pulled together as she thought. Another date? Was that such a good idea? She had yet to actually decide what she was going to do about them , if she was going to accept their bond, if she was going to stay. Could she do one without the other? Could she be his mate without being Queen? Could she love him and still travel? Could she let him love her at all ? She supposed spending more time together gave her the opportunity to ask more questions, perhaps even find out the answer to at least three of her most pressing . And maybe, she reasoned, getting out of the Palazzo would be good for her; she could enjoy the calm before the storm. Though, given the events of the last few days, it was more like a calm in the storm. 

“Okay,” she agreed. “What’re we doing?” 

“ That is entirely up to you,” Aro replied. Huh. Bella would never say as much but she was immensely grateful, in that moment, for him letting her decide. Amid the chaos of discovering she was his mate and him manipulating her, and then his reasoning, and her body forgiving him, now Edward… Bella had begun to feel as though she was powerless to stop anything from happening. Being in charge, if only for the day, felt like a respite before there was more uncertainty, more drama that she couldn’t control. It also meant that, to an extent, Aro was’t expected anywhere else. 

“We could check out that place Heidi mentioned,” Bella suggested. “Or, uh, something else if you don’t wanna spend the day holding your breath.” 

“ La Taverna Della Terra di Mezzo,” Aro hummed in agreement, reminding Bella of the name, though she doubted she’d retain it. “Should I have Heidi make us a reservation?” 

“Sure,” she replied, her mind already troubled over the matter of attire. What was the dress code? Formal? She hoped not, the ballgowns in her closet weren’t exactly the subtly she was going for. No, she’d need something to hide her bruises. Maybe she could get away with wearing whatever Heidi brought her.

“Are you preferable to a certain time?”

“Do I need to be?” Bella asked, inadvertently asking about his schedule for the day. It didn’t bother her that she might need to plan around his duties, but she continued to hope he had taken the day off for her. 

“My Brothers are aware that I am to be acquirable by you, and you only, today.” Bella smiled, unable to disguise her pleasure at the fact, something she then reminded herself she didn’t have to do. At least, not with him. 

“This evening then? I might need time to fix this,” she said, gesturing once more to her neck. Aro’s smile deepened into a smirk. 

“A shame,” he commented. “It is truly a magnificent illustration of our night together. A most lascivious masterpiece.” Bella scoffed, touching her throat gently with the tips of her fingers. 

“I don’t think many would agree with us,” not any humans, at least . Aro grinned, elated at her admitted approval. She could practically see his thoughts circulating and picking apart, feeding, on the words with us like a wake of vultures. 

“And in the meantime?” Aro prompted. “I wonder if you might like to see some more training.” That did sound like something she’d enjoy. 

“Alec?” She asked, wondering if he was faring any better, if he’d continued to take her advice. 

“As well as Jane, Corin, and Chelsea.” Bella’s eyes spoke of her curiosity. Corin and Chelsea weren’t names she’d heard in her time there and she was interested in meeting them, or at least, seeing how they worked . The Guard was clearly divided somehow, given only certain members were utilised in court. 

“And you,” Bella confirmed. His presence would influence them, she was sure. “You’re not going to ask me to… advise again, are you?” 

“I will not,” he replied. “However, any further advice, should you wish to give it, may be well received. Your guidance has benefited Alec greatly.” And there it was again, the jitter in her chest that fluttered in response to his praise. Reminiscent of the many instances in her childhood when Renee would praise Bella for being useful, whether it was for making dinner, or cleaning, or paying bills; it made her feel valued. 

“It’d be much more valuable coming from you,” she rebuffed, unable to vocalise a response to his compliment - a trait she was certain she’d inherited from Charlie. 

“Hm, but less of a criticism from you.” 

“ Hm , but you can see them better.” 

“And yet,” Aro smirked, “you managed perfectly well.” Bella wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t get the impression Aro was trying to convince her, he was merely encouraging her should she want to. Or, at least, she hoped that was the case. 

“And if I do decide to try and coach your battalion .” God, forbid. “What’re you going to be doing?” 

“I thought I might use the time to start a new journal for you.” Right, her journal. Bella folded her arms awkwardly as she turned to look at the one still on the coffee table. She hadn’t spared it any thought this morning, the impending arrival of Edward weighing heavily on her mind, but now she gazed at it in a new light. Or, well, the right light. It really was kind of him. “I- uh- thank you, you know, for the book. It was maybe not the best timing but I think I get what you were trying to do. So, um, thanks.” Bella cringed at herself when she looked back at him, her appreciation awkward at best. It would have to do though, she couldn’t bring herself to try again. 

“You are most welcome, cara . It is nothing in comparison to the gift which you have given me.” Her face twisted and Bella shifted on her feet, looking at the floor as she tried to stomach the seriousness in which he spoke. 

“You’re talking about the sex, right?” She joked, deflecting. 

“Mm, an unequivocal highlight,” he replied, his eyes darkening once she looked up. Bella tried to swallow but her throat was dry. “Speaking of giving ,” he continued, his words causing her skin to tingle. The anticipation turned to apprehension and then dread as he removed a black, velvet box from the inside of his suit jacket. 

“What is it?” She asked when he presented it to her. 

“Something to consider.” Cryptic, great. Bella clenched her jaw as she took it from him and opened it. Various emotions flickered through her in mere seconds. Apprehension, curiosity, awe, giddiness, confliction, fear. The golden crest was smaller than his but identical in every other way. It was beautiful. It was hers’... or at least, for her. Not even the Cullens had bestowed her with one and she had been with Edward for eight months, something she’d attributed to their never really believing she and Edward were going to work out. Yet here was a promise, not of family, but still of somewhere to belong - because he wanted her to belong with him. Could it really be forever this time? Something to consider.  

“You really wanna push his buttons, don’t you?” She muttered, staring at it, one finger tracing over the ruby.

“I need only my mind for that,” Aro replied. Bella didn’t need to look up at him to know he was smirking, his voice was smug enough. “No, this is for when you make your decision.” When , not if . 

“That’s very arrogant of you,” she said in jest, unable to determine her strongest emotion. It felt good to be wanted, especially by him, but that wasn’t enough of a reason to wear what she knew to be such a definitive expression of unity- of love. Would it have been easier to accept it in silver?

“Wishful,” he corrected. Bella looked up at him then, her cerebral eyes regarding his. Not for the first time, she found herself questioning what it was he saw in her. There had to be some conscious inclination to date her, didn’t there? Or was it merely the bond that compelled his romantic interest? What would he have been like if she had been of use to only the Guard? Where would she have ranked in importance? 

The thought of him treating her like everyone else made her chest ache, which was alarming considering mere days ago she was content with the thought of him using her. So, not in silver. Bella looked away, simultaneously closing the box. It was too much, too fast. Unthinkable, really. Terrifying. 

“If you’re expecting something in return, you’ll be disappointed. I can barely walk as it is.” 

“Later then, perhaps,” he murmured. Bella snorted as she walked away, taking the box into her bedroom and giving it status on the bedside table. When she returned to the living room, she saw that Aro was sitting on the couch looking altogether bizarre amid all of the white and gold furniture. He was wearing his signature attire of all black; his crest embroidered just below the knot of his tie in red and gold. How did he choose what to wear? Was his closet lined with the identical shirts and trousers or did he wear colours when he was alone? The idea of him wearing casual clothes like jeans and a t-shirt made her smile to herself, he would look positively domestic; it would be ridiculous. Then again, he could pull off leather. Aro wearing a leather jacket surfaced in her mind and her face betrayed her approval . Aro merely raised a brow at her. A thought for another time.  

She was about to ask what time the Guard were training when there was another knock at the door. 

Heidi. 

Bella crossed the room to open it this time, just in case. Heidi smiled at her and held up a pale, thin, silver box that was roughly the size of a piece of A4. New . 

“I hope it’s to your liking,” she said, handing it over. Bella accepted it with visible relief despite feeling the need to reimburse Heidi for it. It wasn’t like the other things she had been given, not even like the suits that were hanging up in her closet. No, this felt more personal. She knew, however, that Heidi would refuse any money she gave her. Bella also knew she should move, a fact that, once she realised it, made her feel hyper-aware. Inviting Heidi in had never been a problem before, Bella felt as though she didn’t really have the right to deny any of the Volturi access given she was a guest. Why did her limbs feel as though they’d locked into place? Was it because she was embarrassed that Aro was inside? She supposed she was a little given the state of her neck, but Heidi would know they weren’t doing anything else untoward given her hearing abilities. No, there was something else keeping Bella firmly in place, something she didn’t like the feeling of. Jealousy . The mere thought of Heidi being near Aro was making her incredibly uncomfortable. It was ridiculous and yet, she couldn’t shake it off. 

“Thank you,” Bella said, “really.” 

“No problem, Bella,” Heidi replied, her smile one of polite ease. It was the sort of smile that reminded Bella of sales assistants when they helped you find what you were looking for. One second Heidi was there, the next she was gone. Bella closed the door and stared at it for a moment until her shoulders relaxed and her feet unstuck. Aro rose as she carried the box across the room, her eyes vacant as she continued to think. 

“I shall leave you to get ready, cara ,” he said, stopping only to lean in and kiss her on the side of her head. He was gone before Bella properly processed it, by which she was glad as the butterflies won out and she couldn’t help but grin. 

The box contained a simple, black turtleneck sweater with long sleeves, and a black scarf embroidered with red and gold leaves. Bella noticed, once she had changed, standing before the mirror, that the scarf was similar to Aro’s tie; something that made her feel entirely too pleased. 

The material of the sweater was soft and she was relieved to see it concealed her hickeys, so long as she didn’t tilt her head back. It felt too nice to be paired with her jeans so Bella switched them out for the pair of burgundy trousers she’d worn on her last outing. A decision that ultimately gave the outfit more panache , especially when she added heels. 

After getting dressed, Bella pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, wishing all the while that she could have completed her ensemble with her faithful old leather jacket. She hadn’t thought about it at all since she’d left New Jersey, the jacket was something she had only ever worn to work; a loan from Vinnie that, after a bar crawl Bella scarcely remembered, had become hers. Maybe she could ask Alice to find her a replacement at some point, given she’d seen it in Forks. It wasn’t like the item itself held much sentimental value, Bella just liked how it’d looked on her, and the deep pockets.  

Aro returned half an hour later, pleased to discover Bella was reading Wuthering Heights. They made their way leisurely through the maze of corridors to what Bella had dubbed the training hall, Aro’s hand in hers. The Guard were already in attendance, separated into pairs and sparring. As Bella descended the staircase, she counted six vampires in total. Alec and Jane, Felix and Demetri, and two she didn’t recognise. Both the unknowns were women, similar in height, not much taller than Bella herself. The only obvious difference that Bella could make out was that one had short brown hair while the others’ was black and curly. Chelsea and Corin.  

As Bella and Aro approached, the Guard all stopped what they were doing, turned towards them, and bowed. Bella was immediately uncomfortable and looked to Aro, waiting for him to dictate what happened next. A nod of his head was all it took for them to continue. He then ushered Bella over to the side of the room where, to Bella’s horror, there were two throne-like chairs. They weren’t as conventionally sovereign , not like the thrones in the courtroom, nor were they as big or black, but it was clear that they were for royalty - for her and Aro. 

She hesitated briefly but then she took a seat. It wasn’t the most comfortable which made sense as it probably hadn’t been designed with comfort in mind. After a few minutes of sitting stiffly, Bella yielded, dismissing her conflict of their being there in favour of getting comfortable. Watching the Guard face off against one another was just as fascinating as it had been when Alec and Demetri were training alone, only now Bella had more techniques to observe and more bodies to watch out for. 

Alec, she was pleased to see, was still planting his feet. 

They stayed there for hours; Aro writing, Bella watching, Aro watching her . At intervals, Bella would leave his side to pace around the room, observing the different styles of combat from different angles. The most fascinating of which was Jane. Unlike Alec, she knew the advantages that her nimble stature afforded her, and when Bella could make out her movements, she saw that Jane flew with continuous precision at every turn; her offences sharp and calculated. Her mask of stoicism was slowly peeled away with every time she was knocked down and Bella smiled when, at last, Jane’s mask was discarded entirely and she glared at Felix. That Jane then managed to bring him to his knees made it even sweeter. 

“You were pleased with Jane’s victory today,” Aro commented later that evening as they walked through the artificially lit streets of Volterra. Bella’s arm was through his, her thoughts also reflecting on the events of their day. 

“I could see how much she wanted it,” she replied. There was also something intensely satisfying about seeing Jane and Alec prevail. Maybe it was because they were children, their victories sweeter against bigger, older adversaries, or maybe it was because she could see herself in their shoes, wanting so desperately to win. 

If this is what it was like, Bella thought, she might enjoy spending more time in Volterra after all. Would she be trained too once she was a vampire? Would she be any good? Who would do it? 

La Taverna Della Terra di Mezzo was a much more casual restaurant than the one they’d dined at last Friday. The atmosphere was more rowdy as people ate and drank, and spoke boisterously over one another. As they were led through by a waitress, Bella gazed around. The stone walls and arched ceilings in such a confined, dimly lit, space made her feel somewhat claustrophobic - especially with the music and the patrons, but it was unusual and she knew that once they had a space of their own, preferably in a corner, she would settle in. 

Their waitress spoke to Aro in Italian as they were seated, their table more intimate than Bella was expecting; the circumference of which would hold at most two plates and two drinks. When a menu was handed to her, Bella smiled tightly, muttering a quick grazie . 

“Have you learned any new words during your week with us?” Aro asked, his menu already disregarded on the table before him. His obsidian eyes, reflecting only the flicker of light from the candle between them, made her skin prickle. Bella knew they were dark on purpose given that there were other humans around but she couldn’t help remembering the way he’d watched her undress the night before. 

“Uh,” she replied unintelligibly, looking away in order to reassemble her thoughts. What was the question? “No.” And then it properly sank it. “Oh, wait, sort of . I thought it might have been more emphatic to call you out in your own language yesterday so, uh, sei un coglione . ” Aro’s laughter, at first, surprised her, but then she found herself smiling. 

“Emphatic, indeed,” he murmured. “I could translate some of my Italian from yesterday, if you are interested.” 

“ Perhaps not,” Bella rejected. “You only say things in Italian if you know it’s something I can’t… handle .” Aro didn’t deny it. 

“There is not one word you wish to know the meaning of?” He asked. She supposed there was, at least , one. Aro gestured for her to ask. 

“Okay,” she muttered. “When I first got here, before Jane took me to my apartment, you said something. You said it again last night. Qualsay...asee...?” 

“ Qualsiasi cosa per te. ” 

“Yeah, that.” 

“Anything for you,” he translated, and didn’t that just make her stomach flip half a  dozen times. Bella fixated her gaze on the menu in front of him as she waited for her initial squirming to subside. 

“And that is why I don’t ask,” she muttered, touching her cheeks with her chilled hands in order to cool them down. 

“How I love to see you blush.” Bella rolled her eyes. 

“I noticed. It’s why you say my name like that,” and then to emphasise her point, she mimicked him saying, “ Isabella .” 

“The results are always devine ,” he agreed. Bella grimaced, well aware as to what he was referencing, which only made him laugh again. She was just about to repeat her one and only Italian insult when she heard a familiar voice shout across the restaurant. 

“Americana!” Oh no. “Emily!” 

Simon . 

Bella could pinpoint the second Aro registered what was about to happen, registered him ; his entire body seemed to tense and so hers’ did too. She turned her head and forced what she hoped was a polite enough smile onto her face as Simon meandered through the tables in order to approach her. Real- Emily and Leo, as well as some other woman, followed behind him. 

“Hi,” Bella said, her body temperature dropping. Simon, without hesitation, reached down to hug her as if he’d been friends with her for years, and Bella was forced to awkwardly pat his back. 

“It’s a small world, no?” Simon asked, grinning from ear to ear. “I knew. I said, didn't I say? I said I knew we would see you again.” Emily and Leo both looked embarrassed by Simon being so forward but neither made any attempt to dissuade his small talk. 

“Hi,” Leo said quietly when Bella made eye contact with him. 

“ Smettila di molestarla, Simon. È chiaramente ad un appuntamento ,” Emily said, patting Simon vigorously on the arm in an attempt to move him along. Bella glanced at Aro, wishing she knew what Emily had said. He looked as though he was trying incredibly hard to look uninterested. 

“Date?” Simon repeated. 

“Sorry, Emily,” Emily sighed, apologetically. “He is like a golden retriever.” 

“We should find our table,” Leo suggested. “It was nice seeing you again, Emily.” Bella replied with a quiet you too . 

“I thought you were visiting us on business, no?” Simon said. Bella understood that this was his way of asking her to explain, and she almost did, another lie forming on her tongue, ready to introduce Aro as her business associate - but before she could, Aro reached out across the table and took her hand. The smile on his face was intense and ultimately discomforting which Bella supposed was rather the point. 

“She is.” Simon glanced at their joined hands, his expression apprehensive and confused. Bella continued all the while to smile up at him, though her jaw was starting to hurt. 

“Simon!” Emily called. 

“Oh,” he muttered, turning away briefly. “I hope we meet again,” he said to Bella, noncommittally, before he walked away. Bella waited until he had sat down at his table across the restaurant, receiving a rather animated reprimand from Emily, before she let her face relax. 

“A friend?” Aro needlessly inquired, regaining Bella’s full attention. He looked displeased though he was actively making an attempt not to all out glare. Jealousy. Bella stoked her thumb over the top of his hand. 

“I can’t have friends?” She asked, both teasing and challenging him to say otherwise. He watched her carefully, thoughtful, before he eventually replied. 

“Of course.” Bella snorted. 

“Right answer,” she muttered. “I don’t know them very well. Met them in a bar on Sunday. Simon and Emily were pret-ty drunk, surprised they even remember me.” Bella might have easily forgotten them once she got home but Heidi’s reaction had entangled them in a mystery and Bella was curious by nature. Reflecting on it now, however, she had a pretty good idea as to why her wearing Simon’s jacket had elicited such a reaction. “But you probably already know all of that, huh?” 

“Oh?” Aro’s brows rose. 

“Heidi’s weird reaction to Simon’s jacket.” His jaw tightened. 

“A truly hideous coat.” Bella smiled to herself, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“What could you possibly have to be jealous about? He gave me his jacket because it was raining.” Sure he gave it to her after she’d already gotten drenched but he was drunk. 

“It is less about the what ,” Aro hummed, “and more about the smell .” 

“He really smells that bad?” 

“He is of no significance at all. However, when it is you that smells like him .” Ah. 

“I can smell like other people?” She asked, “So… what? Right now I smell like you?” 

“Intimately ,” he murmured, his voice so low and rough , it was almost like a growl. Bella felt herself sitting forward in hopes he said something more, the faint touch of his knees touching hers under the table caused her breath to quicken. 

Naturally, that was when the waitress returned.   

Bella sat back with mild disappointment, releasing Aro’s hand. She gave her order, pizza capricciosa , and then sat quietly, watching as she and Aro spoke about the wine list. It didn’t surprise her that Aro was possessive, he was a man with many collections, a man who didn’t see being materialistic as a negative trait. It did surprise her, however, that he hadn’t enacted some kind of revenge on Simon. That wasn’t to say Bella wanted anything to happen to him, far from it, but given Aro was so clearly displeased by the whole affair… Well, she expected he would take pleasure in removing the offence entirely. How would she have reacted if he had? Her thoughts inevitably shifted to Valentina. 

“You look worried, tesoro ,” Aro commented once the waitress had walked away. Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek, contemplating whether she should continue to bury down the dread in the pit of her stomach or if she should tell him, actually tell him what was bothering her. If there was one person who wouldn’t look at her differently after, it would be him, right? 

“Do you think not mourning when someone dies makes me a bad person?” 

“Irina?” 

“Valentina.” Aro looked visibly surprised. 

“You believe you should feel remorse for her after the way she treated you?” 

“I think I should at least be able to feel her life had value, right? I’m still alive .” 

“Being alive does not dictate the extent to which one values life,” Aro replied. “Most of the individuals I have met would not spare time to mourn a stranger. Death is the ultimate human condition. It brings sadness when the fruition of which is sooner than anticipated but it is anticipated, nonetheless. Isabella, if you were as apathetic as you have so convinced yourself to be, you would not protect the lives of others as strongly as you do. Being selective in who or what you value is not damning.” The word damning made Bella huff quietly. 

“You know I don’t believe in damnation.” 

“Do you not?” 

“You don’t have to be religious to want to be a good person.” 

“Pray tell who it was that told you what a good person is.” Bella frowned. “Civilisation has governed its people with discussions of ethics since it was developed thousands of years ago. Many philosophers in history have described it to be a set of concepts and principles that can be used as a guide to determine the behaviour of others; used well, it enables the creation of structure and conformity. Two pillars of a successfully organised religion, do not you agree? Though you are correct in that you do not have to be religious in order to be ethical. Your characterisation of a good person, however, I believe is what is troubling you. 

Morality , a word that is often used interchangeably with the aforementioned. You worry that your inaction to mourn is immoral and as such, decides you to be a character that others may judge freely and with severity. But then, Isabella , should you feel terrible for every person that dies? That is hundreds of thousands of deaths every day. Should you cry for them all?” Bella supposed he had a point. “Valentina was a stranger to you. I do not believe there is any expectation but your own to grieve for her. The fact that it has troubled you at all surprises me.” 

“But doesn’t it, I don’t know, speak to a lack of compassion? Carlisle would…”

“Be disappointed in you?” Hearing Aro say it made Bella feel young and entirely self-absorbed. “Carlisle is truly one of a kind, his compassion centred strongly in both morality and ethics. He holds himself and always has to such an impossible standard, one of which I do not believe he would ever burden upon another, least of all you. While he is empathetic and values life more than most, a feat that is arguably easier to achieve when you believe the value of your own has diminished, he is still able to kill in order to protect those he loves.” Being selective in who or what you value is not damning. “I know that you respect Carlisle greatly but even he is not selfless. His lifestyle, while admirable to an extent, is still born from repentance. He helps others in order to refute his own guilt, his own self-loathing. You are still in possession of a like minded conscience, cara . Carlisle will not be disappointed in you, not for your inability to grieve for strangers, nor for protecting those you love.” 

Bella sat quietly as she thought, replaying parts of what he’d said over and over until they digested. She felt as though a great weight had been taken from her shoulders, as if she had just been granted permission not to care - permission to let it go. 

The waitress returned shortly after with wine and Bella was impressed by Aro’s ability to cater to her taste when he was unable to appreciate it himself. 

“How are you feeling now?” Aro asked. 

“It’s still sinking in but definitely better,” she replied. Her head certainly felt roomier. Aro smiled. 

“Good. Is there anything else you would like to ask?” She certainly didn’t want to continue discussing philosophy and an intermission from discussing her emotions wouldn’t go amiss either. 

“A game?” She suggested. 

“If you like.” 

“Okay,” she agreed. “Then I guess it’s your question.” 

“What was it like to see Edward again after all those years?” Bella grimaced as she swallowed a sip of wine. 

“Wouldn’t you rather know about my favourite song or something?” 

“I would but you are being so candid with me. I should not want to miss the opportunity to know how you really feel.” 

“That’s called taking advantage,” Bella retorted but couldn’t fault him in his honesty. She sat further up in her chair and took a deep breath, letting the scents of different food and alcohol wash over her senses; cleansing herself of the need to overthink. “I guess I felt uncomfortable, you know? I thought I would still feel compelled to love him after such a long and painful time apart, I didn’t want to forgive him.”

“But this is not the case with Jacob Black?” 

“Uh-uh. There are rules, cara ,” she mocked. 

“Forgive me,” Aro murmured and gestured for her to continue. 

“What’s your favourite song?” 

“Albert Pieczonka is a favourite composer of mine. Tarantella in A Minor is favourable both to hear, play, and dance to. Jacob?” Bella rolled her eyes. 

“No,” she emphasised, “it is not the case with Jake.” Her eyes dropped to her wine glass as she swirled the liquid around. “It’s not a secret, after Edward left… that it broke me. And Jake… even when I was at my lowest, he still saw something in me worth fixing - and he did. Without him, I probably wouldn’t be here.” Something she had never admitted to anyone before. “I had to learn to want to live again and loving him made it bearable. I don’t think I can do one without the other.” 

Aro was given time to make of this what he could as the waitress returned with Bella’s pizza and a bowl of soup for him. “Mi scuso per l'attesa, signori. Ecco il vostro cibo, se volete qualcos'altro fatemelo sapere.” 

“Grazie .” 

Bella tasted her food and hummed quietly with pleasure. She couldn’t recall the last time she had had pizza; she’d definitely made the right choice. They sat in amicable silence for a few minutes, giving Bella the time to eat without having to stop and start. When she stopped to drink some wine, Aro reminded her that it was her turn. She eyed the way he was stirring the soup in his bowl, how was he going to get rid of it ? “Do you remember the taste of food?” 

“I do not. Once your diet has changed, your first impression of cuisine is rewritten. I cannot recall one thing I might have liked beforehand.” 

“So you’re saying I should eat as much chocolate as possible before the end of the month?” Bella smiled. 

“Is that your favourite confectionery?” 

“It’s a close second, but no. I’ve always really liked black liquorice. It’s nice, tastes like anise; sweet and bitter at the same time, you know?” 

The rest of their game stayed solely in the realms of comfort, even after Bella finished eating and they relocated to the bar so Bella might see the band better. Aro was kind enough not to press for more confessionals and so, after a while, Bella began to truly relax. It helped that the wine was also good. The more she drank, the better it tasted, and when people got up to dance, she wasn’t filled with dread when Aro took her hand and pulled her close. 

“I can’t dance,” she said, resting her head against him, the cold of his neck nice on her forehead. Aro’s chuckle vibrated through him as he held her, his hands securely on her lower back as he turned them around, keeping a slow pace so that Bella didn’t stumble. 

“Trust me, baby ,” he said, “I will not let you fall.” Bella held on tight to the front of his suit jacket, her eyes downcast, captivated by his crest, the only barrier between his chest and hers’. 

“Promise?” She whispered. 

“I promise.” 

Bella laughed to herself as Aro carried her across the street, kicking her legs, her bare feet dangling over one arm, her back arched over the other. She felt as though she was floating, like she was flying, like she was dreaming. The night was cold but the stars were out and they were so beautiful. 

“I had a dream about you, you know,” she said, closing her eyes. 

“So you mentioned,” Aro replied. 

“No, not that one. I mean that one was way better but no, I mean before I came- came to Volterra. Before Riley, before Victoria.” 

“You did?”

“Mm.” 

“And what was it you dreamed of, cara ?” 

“It was pretty abstract,” she replied and snorted. “I was here in your fancy shmancy castle, already who I wanted to be. I was happy… laughing... there were also rose petals everywhere, I don’t know what the fuck that was all about.” 

“Red?” Aro asked. 

“Mm.” 

“I should have known you were a romantic at heart, Isabella.” Bella cringed and then laughed again. 

“Pft. Don’t, I’ll throw up.” 

“We don’t want that.” Bella fell silent as he carried her the rest of the way, barely comprehending the passage of time despite his slow pace. When she was placed down gently onto her bed, she opened her eyes again and looked up at him. It was easy like this, she thought, being with him without worry, without anxiety, without stress. She felt as though her skin was made of cotton, her bones had never been more comfortable. 

“Will you stay with me?” 

“Where else would I go?” 

Bella rolled onto her side, and then her front, so that she could climb further up the bed. It took some serious effort to get her trousers off but once she was free of them, she wiggled her way under the duvet and patted the vacant side of the bed expectantly. Aro silently obliged, and with much more grace, he slipped into bed beside her. Bella hummed to herself as she rested her head against his chest, her face tingly, bordering on numb. 

“I had fun. Even with the dancing. Maybe I’ll do it sober sometime, maybe I won’t. Still. It was nice with you, and I’m drunk so that means I don’t have to pretend I don’t like you.”

“Sleep, cara ,” Aro murmured, his voice amused. 

“You’re not allowed to laugh at me,” Bella told him, her voice receding in volume. Whatever his reply was, she didn’t process it. It took only a few minutes for her to fall asleep, her grip on his shirt unrelenting. 

Chapter Text

It was midday when they were disturbed. Bella was somewhat glad, as the anticipation of Edward, Alice, and Jasper’s arrival had been giving her a stomach ache, but the spike in her anxiety as she and Aro made their way down the corridor towards the courtroom made her want to avoid the confrontation entirely. She assumed that the reason Aro had stayed with her all morning was so that they could arrive together, her smelling entirely like him. When she had first thought as much, she had taken a few minutes to smell her skin, her hair, her clothes, trying to make out any discernible difference but it was no use; even with her sleeping in his arms and remaining there for most of the morning, she could still only make out the artificial scents - soap, shampoo, deodorant. When she had asked Aro if they masked her scent any, he told her they didn’t, that vampires were predisposed to notice the scent of blood above all else. It was this that pointedly reminded Bella of his diet. 

“I never really think about that,” she’d said, her forefinger tracing over the page of Wuthering Heights as she turned to look at him. “I mean, sometimes I wonder if I’m difficult to be around but, I don’t know, it’s like I forget the potential danger.” 

“Humans are rarely conscientious of blood, there is little reason for you to think about it yet,” Aro replied but Bella wasn’t so easily convinced by his reasoning. It had to be their bond. When she had first met him on the battlefield, she had been afraid of him. When she arrived in Volterra, she was apprehensive. But since that second day when he had shown her around the library, the fear had disappeared entirely because she had gotten comfortable. Back when she had fallen in love with Edward, he had commented more than once on how calmly she had accepted the plight of his immortal existence, despite the danger he posed to her. Bella had, at times, believed Edward when he said she had no self-preservation, that her inability to fear him meant there was somehow something wrong with her, but now that she thought about it; it made sense for the bond to mute those effects. “Unless of course, you still wish to interview the guard.” 

“I do,” Bella said. “If I decide to follow Carlisle’s plan then it might be easier if I know beforehand, affirmations and all that.” Aro pursed his lips. “What?” 

“I could tell you,” he offered, “with my knowledge, you will know the honest truths of both diets.” 

“You won’t try to sway my decision?” She asked sceptically.

“If drinking animal blood is what you desire,” he said, his tone reflecting how distasteful he found the notion, “then that is your decision to make.” 

“You want me to choose otherwise though.”

“I have little desire to source a petting zoo,” he agreed, “but, alas, I would do qualsiasi cosa per te .” The thought of animals being kept within the Palazzo made Bella snort. 

“Caius would be livid,” she commented. 

“Then I should not encourage you to antagonise him.” 

“What if it was the only way to keep me around?” Bella asked, smirking. 

“Then I should turn every such room into a petting zoo and let you antagonise him forever.”

“That’s tempting.” Bella grinned. Aro shot her a mock look of exasperation. “Don’t worry, even impertinent distractions know better than to entirely disrupt the system. He can keep his bedroom.” Aro chuckled. 

“Not so witless, after all. A little acetous, though, perhaps.” Bella, not knowing what acetous meant, raised her eyebrows. “Bitter,” he clarified. 

“You think I’m the bitter one?” She asked in disbelief, trying hard not to laugh in indignance. 

“I think your relationship with my brother will make for an interesting future,” Aro replied, not refuting her in the slightest. Bella huffed at him, turning her gaze back to her book. She imagined she and Caius would certainly make Aro’s life more interesting if she decided to stick around. The thought of him contesting her at every turn was definitely a con. However, there was something slightly satisfying in knowing her remainder in Volterra would upset him dearly - ultimately a pro. She should really write out a proper list. 

As much as their conversation had turned to banter, Bella was still serious about asking the Guard questions - on blood and on their opinions of living in the Palazzo. Heidi’s flippancy had disturbed something in her, something that had made Bella disbelieve her genuinity. It might be difficult if Aro was there for it, she couldn’t imagine any of them wanting to discuss their thoughts of leaving, if they had any, with him around lest it be a show of disloyalty. But then, given his gift, wouldn’t he already know? Surely at least one of them had wanted to leave at some point. She’d find out, she supposed; hopeful that Heidi was still working on a proper meet and greet . 

Though she couldn’t outright ask any of them right now, she reasoned she could at least get a grasp on the basics beforehand, which led her to asking the question, “How do you eat? Do you all leave the Palazzo in shifts or something? That doesn’t seem very inconspicuous.” 

“Not inconspicuous at all,” Aro agreed. “We do not leave, the blood comes to us.” 

“What?” Bella snorted, “Like a blood bank?” 

“In a way. Tourists.” 

“Tourists?” She repeated. How did that work? Wouldn’t it be obvious if all of the Palazzo’s visitors went missing? 

“Heidi handles catering,” Aro replied. “One ploy or another keeps a steady flow of visitors coming our way. Contest winners often find themselves treated to a luxurious all-paid-for vacation.” 

“Nobody questions her?” 

“Heidi can be quite persuasive, you might even say it is her gift.” Heidi’s gift was persuasion? Bella acknowledged that this made sense, Felix had never refused to do something she’d asked of him, not in Bella’s presence anyway. Of course, she’d just assumed it was due to Heidi being higher up in the pecking order. Could Heidi influence her? Had she tried? “Does this upset you?” Aro asked.

“Why would it upset me?” Unless Heidi could influence her. “Does Heidi influence me?” 

“I was speaking of our method of substance.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, that,” Bella muttered. Did it bother her? It didn’t seem to. The tourists were just more strangers - and really, how else were they going to eat ? “Um, no. Not really. It’s not like you can just go to a Walmart- well, I suppose you could but they have cameras everywhere.” 

“I am glad,” Aro hummed. “And to answer your question, no, Heidi does not influence you. Your shield grants you immunity to all mental incursions.” Bella was relieved, and, if she was being honest, quite smug about this. 

“Good,” she replied. To learn that she had been unknowingly manipulated to such an extent by any of them would have surely made her decide to leave once turned, if not before then. Aro’s expression told her he knew as much. Bella resumed her gaze on her page then, looking for where she’d left off, content to let the silence fall over them once more as she read and he wrote. 

Heidi had been the one to come for them. Bella was pleased by this, the sight of the mahogany haired vampire’s smile offered her reassurance and Bella was more than inclined to accept it. They walked together, Heidi behind. Aro at her side as they approached the double doors felt like deja vu, only this time Bella kept her hands to herself in hopes Edward might stomach the sight of them better. She wanted to show him that she was enjoying Volterra, not drive him to do something stupidly rash like physically take her from Aro. No, that would not go down well. 

Her fingers, which had been gripping her dress as she walked, let go, allowing the silky verdant chiffon ruffles to brush freely against her legs as she walked. It was by far one of the nicest dresses Heidi had brought her, the fact that it was knee-length and that it had sleeves worked in its favour; it certainly felt less like a ballgown and more like a party dress. The A-line scoop neck wasn’t any barrier to the bruises on her neck, though, so Bella had had to accessorise it with a green scarf with butterflies on. It was altogether a rather summertime look; certainly not something she could wear outside in the current climate lest she make herself ill. The three of them entered, the doors opening at exactly the right moment so that they didn’t have to slow down or stop their stride. It was quite dramatic, Bella thought, especially as, once again, everyone was looking at them. 

Alice.  

It was so good to see her. Bella felt as though she was constantly reminding herself that it had only been a week, but yet she felt like she hadn’t seen Alice in ages . So much had changed already. Alice returned her affectionate smile despite the uneasy way in which she stood, her body angled towards Jasper - the both of them stood apart from Edward. Bella wanted to go to her, to hug her, reassure her that everything would work out, that Aro had no intention of harming any of them - but she knew deep down that she couldn’t outright promise. Edward’s behaviour was what would dictate how their meeting would go. Edward’s and Caius’. 

Bella turned to look at the dais, unsurprised to see Caius and Marcus already seated, waiting for their brother to take his seat and complete their authoritative set. When Caius met her eye, the corner of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. Her eyes hardened in response and she forced herself to look away lest she outright glare at him. 

“How wonderful it is to see you again,” Aro said, his theatrically polite mask affixed to his face; its presence was more foreign and uncomfortable for Bella to witness now that she knew what his genuine smiles looked like. She and Aro only stopped once they were a few feet away from Alice and Jasper, close enough for Bella to reach out and touch them but she didn’t.

“Kneel,” she heard Caius bark from behind, an order that didn’t look to surprise Aro nor any of the others in attendance. Alice did so with no hesitation, her head lowered in a sign of respect, and Jasper followed her lead a few seconds later. Bella frowned slightly, uncomfortable with their display of submission given that she was not expected to demonstrate it herself; not that she wanted to be held in the same regard, the thought of getting on her knees, for Caius no less, made her gut twist something sharp. 

“Alice. Welcome,” Aro breathed once the decorum was abided by, he looked down on her in the way a child might look upon a new toy in the lead up to Christmas; awed. Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes at his obvious favoritism, jealousy and discomfort rising up in her, scarcely won out by her desire to pull Aro away and make some sort of display to claim him. Jasper met her eye as Aro gestured for them all to rise, Bella shot him a small, apologetic, tight-lipped smile. “And your mate also, yes.” Subtle . 

“Thank you for seeing us all on such short notice,” Alice replied, her voice soft spoken and polite. The only indication she was worried at all was given when she glanced at Edward. Bella followed her gaze, unable to put off looking at him any longer. 

Edward was staring straight at her, completely immobile, his brows furrowed, eyes cold. It was unnerving and, during the brief silence of Aro taking Alice’s hand, all Bella could do was stare right back. 

“And young Edward,” Aro addressed after he’d seen their recent events , the relish laid on thick. “How kind of you to return my visit so soon.” 

“I would have gotten here sooner but our flights kept getting cancelled,” Edward replied tersely, his eyes unblinking. Bella was beginning to feel compelled to keep her eyes open, as though she’d unknowingly entered into a staring contest. Their flights kept getting cancelled? If dear Alice is to be believed, they should arrive tomorrow morning at the earliest. Had the Volturi somehow influenced those flights? Alice could very well have shared which journeys Edward would have decided to take. But why? So she could spend the day with Aro? No, of course not , she told herself. It was so Alice and Jasper could catch up. What would have happened if Edward had turned up alone? 

“A pity,” Aro replied, continuing to smile. “All's well that ends well.” Aro clapped his hands together, startling Bella. She blinked. “How lovely it is to have guests.” More guests, Bella mentally corrected. 

“Are we to believe they are staying with us, Brother?” Caius asked, articulating with his tone alone just how unpleasant a thought that was. Bella, though she had missed Alice and Jasper, shared his sentiment albeit for an entirely different reason; she would much rather they returned safely to Carlisle and waited for her to visit them. Of course, this wasn’t actually a social call . Edward had come here for a reason, come here for her, so she wasn’t surprised when he shifted his attention to Caius and responded immediately with, 

“I’d like to speak with Bella. Alone.” Aro’s smile dimmed. 

“What you would like is of no relevance to us,” Caius replied. Bella waited on Aro for his decision, knowing it held more weight than Caius’ snark in the proceedings. He looked slightly uncertain and perhaps a little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to partake. The thought of being away from him, with Edward of all people, made Bella uneasy but she would much rather get it over with, preferably without Caius’ sneers. 

“I don’t mind,” Bella murmured, and then to reassure herself, she added, “I doubt it’ll take long.” This appeared to settle the matter. 

“Perhaps you might like to show Edward the garden,” he suggested. Bella had mixed feelings about this, the distance gave a semblance of privacy but she knew they wouldn’t really be alone. That and it was Jane’s garden, the home of Isabella ’s Hellebore; letting Edward walk through it made her feel uncomfortable. Then again, it was better than letting him into her rooms, a sentiment Aro no doubt shared. 

“Sure,” she agreed, “let me grab a jacket.” Aro held up a hand. At first, Bella thought it was a command to stop her from moving which stirred indignation but when he spoke, she realised it wasn’t a gesture for her. 

“Please bring Isabella her coat,” he instructed. Bella glanced back just before Heidi disappeared. The silence that hung over them while she was gone felt like the longest minute of Bella’s life, it was strained and awkward, therefore it was of no surprise to anyone that Aro was enjoying it. Seeing his actual smile improved her mood slightly - although it wasn’t lost on her that it was also her discomfort he was enjoying. When Heidi returned with her burberry, Bella thanked her and quickly put it on as she made her way towards the doors. She didn’t at any point check to see if Edward was following her. 

The balcony still looked vibrant despite the steadily approaching winter. Jane had catered the garden well with seasonal flowers like pansies, snowdrops, and heather. Bella knew she would have to return once she was more appropriately dressed so that she could enjoy it more. It would be nice to spend some more time here with Aro. 

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” Bella asked, turning at last to see Edward standing a few feet away. He was staring at her again, completely still. She waited a few long seconds before she sighed. “You wanted to talk.”

“You look different.” Small talk, great.  

“There’s a certain dress code here,” she shrugged. Edward looked to be scrutinizing her neck so Bella, wishing to distract him, added, “I’m surprised Alice didn’t turn up with a new wardrobe for me.” 

“Give her time,” he replied, tone void of any humor. Bella waited again, pointedly tightening the coat around herself. “Bella… I need you to listen to me.” That’s why she was there, was it not? “Aro. He’s not who you think he is. Your feelings for him, they aren’t real.” Oh?

“That’s quite the accusation,” she said, reminding herself of the way Aro had looked at her that first day in the library when she’d made assumptions about him - only her tone was much less cordial, less understanding. Who does he think he is? “How is it you always know better than me?” 

He frowned. 

“There’s a vampire here. Chelsea. Her gift- it binds you to the Volturi. It makes you loyal, subservient. It’s why none of the Guard leave, why none of them want to.” Bella’s brows stitched together as she stood there, her arms unconsciously moving around to hug her stomach. Chelsea? The woman she had seen yesterday with black curly hair? She could really do that? Of course, she could. A gift like that, she must be Aro’s prized possession. He would have kept her away so Bella didn’t ask, she never would have begun to trust him otherwise. It was like Edward said. He was right . 

Bella had already seen the effects of it - in Heidi. The Guard never wanted to leave, would never want to leave. It explained Heidi’s reaction perfectly, the way she had smiled as if living inside the Palazzo was the only place she’d ever wanted to be. The discomfort Bella had felt during their conversation, the same discomfort she’d felt earlier that day when thinking about it, lying beside Aro, the feeling pressed out from the inside of her ribs, restricting the space to breathe. 

But why hadn’t Aro told her? Because he knew she would hate it, knew it was a diabolical thing to do - hell, the man had been manipulated himself by Sulpicia, why would he do this, and to so many others too? Was Chelsea compelling Bella? Was that why she’d gotten so comfortable so soon after she’d arrived? Was that why she felt comfortable around Aro at all? Was their bond even real or was it Aro’s plan to mimic the effects of one? Had his story of Didyme and Sulpicia been a lie? Why would he do that? What did he stand to gain from lying to her about so much? 

No. She told herself, throwing up a barrier against the frostbite in her chest. 

No, he wouldn’t do that. 

He wouldn’t.  

He couldn’t. 

He had said as much this morning, hadn’t he? Your shield grants you immunity to all mental imperiums. That suggested he’d tried but then what did she expect? Sure, it made her feel disturbed and she was sure to find it infuriating later, but it seemed like such an obvious thing for him to have done; assessing Bella’s gift as thoroughly as possible. Mate or not, she still had the potential to be useful to the Volturi as a whole. 

It hadn’t worked though, because her gift protected her - from Chelsea, from Alec, from him . And from Edward. 

Bella let out a slow and steady exhale, dispelling the hurt she’d all too quickly reacted with, her chest aching as it expanded. Edward was right about Chelsea, but he was wrong about Aro. 

“Their gifts can’t influence me,” she told him, her voice regaining strength. 

“Let me guess,” Edward smiled, albeit bitterly, “he told you that himself.” Bella’s jaw clenched. You don’t know him. 

“He did,” she bit. “He’s honest with me. Even when I don’t want to hear it.” 

“And you trust him? After a week?” The fact that Bella had had this very thought herself many times over the past few days nearly threw her. If Aro hadn’t told her of their bond, of her importance to him, she might have even been swayed by this point. It wasn’t normal, especially not for her. Hell, it had taken her well over a year to even trust Nancy with her spare key. Trust, especially not the kind Aro had already inspired in her, did not come naturally . But her and Aro weren’t natural. They were tied together by a bond - a vampiric one, at that. It needed trust, it needed safety, it needed respect, and communication, and love - to thrive. Bella could sever it and those feelings, after a very painful time, would disappear, just as they had with Edward. He had to know that. 

“I trusted you, didn’t I?” 

“It’s not the same-” 

“Isn’t it?” Bella asked, raising her brows. “It feels pretty similar. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it feels exactly like it did when I first met you.” The hurt that crossed his face was worth admitting this, even if she hadn’t said as much to Aro. 

“He’s just using you,” he stressed, “think about it. With you here, it’d be so much easier for him to collect Alice and I.” It was always about him, wasn’t it? Were all teenagers this self-centred or was Edward just that egotistical? What did Esme and Carlisle see in him? Maybe it was a generational thing that made him so intolerable or maybe they were just so desperate to have a child that they, like most parents, were able to see past all of his flaws. A feat really. Bella could never. Edward was delusional, how could someone with access to the thoughts of everyone around him, be able to convince himself so adamantly of such ludicrous scenarios. Was his denial so powerful he would use it to break her heart all over again? 

“You really think he’d spend so much time getting to know me if he just wanted you for the Guard?” She asked, her tone portraying just how ridiculous she thought this idea was. 

“I think he’d do anything if it got him what he wanted. Even…” he looked away, visibly distressed by his own thoughts. Bella wasn’t so quick to let him insinuate in silence though. If he was going to approach the bridge, he was damn well going to cross it too. 

“Fuck me?” She asked, unashamed. Edward’s eyes hardened. 

“Okay so, let me just make sure we’re on the same page here. Aro invited me to Volterra to be changed on the off chance Carlisle decided not to do it, with the intention to use me to collect you and Alice. Once I arrived, no thanks to you, he then asked Chelsea to bind me to the Volturi - a feat she’s managed to do despite my mental shield - and then he let me decide to wait a month to be changed, because which vampire wouldn’t want to live with me, right? He then decided that during this time with me still human, he’d take me on dates because, you know despite Chelsea’s great influence, he still needs to inspire loyalty in me, right? 

“What then-  what then? Oh yeah, I needed to be initiated with sex. Can’t forget that one, crucial component of the plan.” Edward glared, though he couldn’t bring himself to do it directly at her. “It’s crazy, really, that he’d do all that because, say, wouldn't it have made so much more sense to, I don’t know, use your family breaking the law as a bargaining chip? They could have killed all of you but they didn’t, could have said they’d spare Carlisle and the others for yours and Alice’s service but they didn’t.” Bella threw her arms up in question, expecting an answer but Edward didn’t look altogether inclined to reply at all. “I wouldn’t have even come here if it wasn’t for you and your fucking emotional guilt trip, Edward. If you’re looking for someone to blame, try looking in the mirror.” 

“I’m not saying any of this to hurt you, Bella,” he groaned. Aren’t you? “I’m trying to protect my family, trying to protect you.” 

“Are you? Or are you just trying to salvage a future that you yourself decided to lose?” Edward shook his head. 

“They keep their Guard here against their will! Is this really where you want to stay? Is it better than having a family that loves you?” 

“I haven’t decided,” Bella admitted, “but let me make this as clear as I can for you because you seem to have an ineptitude for understanding me. Whether I stay or not is my decision and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Even if your delusion was true, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d still have come because I want to be a vampire; you gave me no other choice.” 

“Then let me give you another one now,” he pleaded. “You still have time to change your mind.” About Aro . “Come home with me. I’ll change you myself, whenever you want.” Oh, how kind of him. What a wonderful offer. How could she possibly say no to such persuasive blackmail?

“You’re unbelievable,” she muttered, rubbing her hands together as she shook her head in exasperation. 

“Bella-” 

“Don’t Bella me,” she snapped. 

“Please... help me protect my family.” 

“Ohho,” she smiled, showing far too many teeth, her glare seething. “I’ve already had my manipulation quota filled for this week. You’re shit out of luck.” 

“Alice and Jasper have already decided they’d stay if you asked them to, Bella,” Edward stressed. Bella hadn’t forgotten, she’d merely opted not to think about it. When Alice had said as much back in Forks, it was before Bella had met Aro, before she’d made the decision to come to Italy. If Edward was worried about it, it must have meant Alice and Jasper were still serious about their decision to join her - even out here. What would that mean for the rest of their Coven? What would it mean for the Volturi if they finally got their hands on a clairvoyant? No wonder Aro was so giddy. “It would tear my family apart.” How was that her fault? It wasn’t like she’d fucking asked them to join her. Hell, Bella was still furious with all of them at the time of Alice’s swear of - what? Loyalty? Whatever reason she and Jasper had to follow Bella this time, it was born of their own feelings, not hers; like hell would she be taking any culpability for them. 

“What Alice and Jasper do is not on me.” 

“Alice loves you.” 

“And so what?” Bella yelled. “Love does not miraculously grant any of you a free pass to my life decisions.” And she meant any . “If I leave, it’s because I want to. If I stay, it’s because I want to. No more, no less.” Why was that so hard for him to understand? 

“And you would leave him?” 

“If - I - wanted to.” 

“That doesn’t sound like love.” 

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Fortunately for Aro, he has time. You, however, are already on borrowed. Coming here, it was selfish. You say you’re trying to protect Carlisle and the others but you keep making decisions that put your entire family in front of the firing squad. What did you think would happen when you got here?”

“I couldn’t just leave you in trouble-” 

“Why not? You did it for fucking years!” 

“I was trying to-” 

“Keep me human!” Bella glowered. “That’s what you were doing. You weren’t protecting me, you weren’t protecting your family. You think only of yourself, you did then and you are now. I don’t need rescuing!” 

“I’ve been inside his head!” Edward shouted, matching her tone and volume at last. “You and him, it doesn’t make sense!”

“Nobody asked you!”

“He’s a monster-!”

“No, he isn’t!”

“-he’s sadistic, he’s cruel!”

“You don’t know him!” 

“You couldn’t possibly love him, Bella-” 

“I loved you, didn’t I?” 

“Bella- Please- If you’re doing this to hurt me then I get it but-” Bella’s rather manic laughter cut him off. Oh, she was fucking furious. 

“Oh my God,” she muttered to herself, covering her eyes with her hands. “How was I ever with you?” She asked herself. Why did he have to make everything so difficult? Every conversation they’d had since he’d come back into her life felt like such a waste of time. “Every time I talk to you, I feel like I’m slamming my head against a brick wall. You’re impossible. You never fucking listen.” She huffed sharply, dropping her hands. What had she expected? “Just- go home. I don’t want you here.” 

“I can’t,” he muttered, his voice quietened.

“There’s no other option,” she stressed. “Nothing you do will make me love you. I’m not seventeen anymore. This self-sacrificing gig, it’s not cute.” The fact that she’d ever thought it was made her want to scratch her face off. 

“Okay,” he whispered. Bella regarded him. What did that mean? He was going to leave? Just like that? Had she finally gotten through to him? 

“Okay?” She repeated. 

“You don’t love me,” he said, resigned to the fact. Fucking finally. “But you do love my family, our family.” 

“Can you stop trying to guilt trip me for five fucking minutes? What’s wrong with you?” He was no longer on thin ice, he had one foot in the fucking river and if he expected Bella to pull him to safety, he had another thing coming. 

“I can’t leave without you, Bella.” 

“You’re just gonna have to.” 

“You don’t understand-” Enough.  

“Oh I understand perfectly but you only have two options here,” she stepped closer to him, her voice low. “Get out - or you’ll be the second person I ask Aro to kill this week.” Edward froze, his face twisted in horror. The sound of her steady heartbeat finally beating the truth into him. Bella watched with satisfaction as he closed off, disappearing into his own head, no doubt deliberating what his next move was. 

She hoped he would come to the right decision. It was for the best - for Carlisle and Esme, even for Rosalie and Emmett but he stood there for a long minute, a porcelain statue in the winter air, and Bella felt the last belief in his intelligence dwindle. There was only one sane option for him to choose from, there was no way he was stupid enough to call her bluff on her threat. 

After waiting with more patience than he deserved, she approached him with the intention to walk past. She could, at least, see him back to court - if only to make sure he left. It was a shame Alice and Jasper couldn’t stay for a while, see the Palazzo, but then again, she wasn’t completely thrilled at the thought of having them in her space - at least, not around Aro. He would have to wait a little longer, if not indefinitely, for that shiny new toy. 

As she was walking around Edward, Bella felt her arm catch - or more accurately, he grabbed her. She looked down at his hand. Every nerve in her body was bristling, activating, screaming at her to push him away. 

But she couldn’t.

Because she was still human.

Because his strength was unmatchable.

Because she couldn’t fight him even if she wanted to. 

It was like witnessing a bullet spin through the air in slow motion, difficult to completely comprehend in the moment and completely inescapable when the trajectory was her head. 

He kissed her. 

Jesus, she was going to be sick. 

What was he doing? 

Who the fuck did he think he was? 

Why was he doing this? 

Get-off-me-get-off-me-get-off-me-get-off-me-get-off-me.

Bella pushed against his face with her free hand but it was like trying to move a building; completely impossible. What only lasted a few seconds had the impact of a volcano erupting in her chest; the words rising up her throat, devastating. No foresight was needed this time; Bella knew exactly what she was going to say. 

Only he disappeared as soon as he released her, his eyes still closed lest he see the absolute horror in hers. 

A very small part of Bella knew that this was his way of saying goodbye, that he had chosen not to live without her, that he saw this as the last chance he would ever get to be with her again - but she couldn’t bring herself to care; she was outraged. 

Storming from the balcony, she all but flew down the staircase. Every step that took her back towards court only heightened her apathy. How dare he. How fucking dare he. As the doors to court opened, Bella’s glare found Edward kneeling once more before the dais, his head lowered, eyes still closed. Blood was rushing in her ears, rapids drowning out the sound of anything else. She didn’t hear Alice say her name, didn’t discern the plea it spoke of. 

Aro stood over Edward with his eyes closed, Edward’s hand in his. Bella ignored everyone else, her eyes fixated solely on her mate. Her fevered skin felt electrified, charged, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession, her nostrils flared. The anger was all consuming, devouring, unignorable, demanding to be felt in its entirety like a tornado of the mind, of the soul, uncaring of the desolation it left in its wake. 

Her lips felt swollen, cold- wrong. 

She wanted to rub them until they split, until they bled. 

The only consolation she could find was in the knowledge that Aro would avenge her. After everything they had been through, everything she had told Edward- time and time again, he had ignored her, belittled her, enraged her. For what? For this? How dare he. She was not weak. She was not vulnerable. She was certainly not powerless- not anymore, and she never would be again. 

His eyes opened, irises black.

“So be it,” he murmured, a hard spoken declaration that gave no room to sway his judgement. 

Edward would die. 

His gaze found hers then. The ire burning throughout her was reflected in his ebony eyes, the two of them standing side by side in a furnace of vindication. The current that passed between them was one of complete recognition. He didn’t need to hear her ask. He understood her perfectly. “Jane,” he said, maintaining Bella’s eye contact. Alice’s gasp registered on the peripheral of Bella’s consciousness, like a car passing on the street or the sound of a telephone ringing in reception. Jane stepped forward and for the first time, Bella could see the pleasure beneath her mask. 

“Pain.” 

Edward’s entire body tensed, his jaw tight, restraining the scream that was sure to rip from him at any moment. His fists were closed, bracing him up against the floor, his eyes still firmly shut; clenched. Bella hadn’t thought to ask what Jane’s gift was, the child was terrifying enough without one, but as she stood and watched; she could see just why Jane had been rewarded with so many gardens. 

Pain . 

Maybe it should have brought her out of her stupor, should have registered as cruel, but Bella couldn’t help but feel it was nothing less than he deserved. He’d abandoned her, ripped her to pieces, told her he didn’t love her, made her feel like she’d never belonged in the first place. He left her to die. All those times he decided he knew best, all those times he made choices for her - the belittling, the manipulation. The happiness he’d brought her as a teenager paled entirely in comparison to the hate, to the hurt, to the desolation. He could have made it right, could have earned his forgiveness like Alice, like Carlisle. But he didn’t because he hadn’t changed at all; he was still the same, stubborn-minded child who had left her in the forest all those years ago. He had learned nothing in the past month, he would never see her for who she was - for who she could be. But Aro could. 

She watched him as he trembled, waiting for him to give. 

It was a little underwhelming after a while, a sentiment Aro clearly shared as he gestured for Demetri and Felix to pull Edward up from the ground. It was as morbid as it was fascinating to see Aro rip Edward’s arm away. Bella’s mind couldn’t quite comprehend it; her brain told her there should be blood squirting everywhere. 

His limb didn’t even look real. 

The removal of his second arm was what pushed him over the edge; his mouth opened and the most piercing noise Bella had ever heard filled the hall; echoing his anguish throughout the Palazzo. 

For a split second, Bella’s anger took a dip, the noise ricocheting through her. She didn’t feel sorry for him, far from it; he had brought it on himself, but it did briefly transport her back to the nights when her own screams had woken her from her sleep. 

Anguish, pain, the need for it all to be over. 

He had made her feel that way. 

He had killed the girl that he knew, the girl that loved him, that would have loved him forever. 

Who was she to resent the woman that had risen up in her place? 

Edward continued to scream. 

Bella watched his contorted face, waiting to feel guilty, waiting for the compassion to kick in - Edward wasn’t a stranger. When it didn’t come, she glanced at Alice and Jasper who she noticed had been ushered further to the side of the hall by Heidi. Alice’s eyes were tightly shut as she took refuge in Jasper’s arm, her face turned into his chest. Jasper’s body was taut, the pain he was feeling evident on his face as his gaze bore into the ground before him. He was feeling Edward’s pain. 

The realisation triggered a small amount of sympathy in Bella but not enough to make her interrupt on his behalf. 

His legs were the next to go, leaving Felix and Demetri to hold up his torso like an offering to a vengeful God. Bella’s stomach twisted for the first time, the image unnatural and ugly. Fortunately, she didn’t have to look upon it for long as Aro then, with a merciless smile, removed Edward’s head from his shoulders, his last scream smothered mere seconds later by the silence of the court. 

Severed head in his hands, Aro addressed the men before him, throwing Edward’s head up to then catch it when it fell back down. “Burn him in the sewer.” Felix and Demetri took mere seconds to collect Edward’s limbs and disappear. Only then did Aro acknowledge their remaining guests. “Dearest Alice , Jasper. A shame your goal did not succeed, it was indeed an honourable one to attempt. I am certain Carlisle and Esme will take solace in your endeavor. Unfortunately, Edward was not to be without Isabella, no matter your influence.” Neither Alice nor Jasper responded though they did look upon Aro as he spoke. “Please give my condolences to Carlisle,” he added, tossing Edward’s head in their direction, forcing Jasper to catch it. Alice grimaced, resolute in her refusal to look at it. 

“Thank you,” she scarcely whispered, understanding the dismissal for what it was. Only Jasper looked at Bella, regarding her with something akin to reluctant understanding. And then they were gone. 

It was over. 

Edward was dead. 

Alice and Jasper would take his head back to Carlisle and Esme, they would know what had happened, her part in it. They would surely hate her. But Bella, still in the height of anguish, couldn’t bring herself to care. Let them hate her. He had deserved to die- had asked for it. She flexed her hands, trying to focus on the floor to calm herself down, her breathing laboured. Adrenaline. It was coursing through her, ravenous. She should run, dispel the energy, there was nothing else for it, no-one left to fight. 

“Out,” Aro ordered. 

Bella’s head snapped up. 

He was standing in front of her. The entire hall emptied, not even Caius dared to linger behind. “ Amore mio, amore mio caro. Non posso esprimere l'angoscia che provo per voi. Come mi sarebbe piaciuto averlo fatto a pezzi un milione di volte, ” he growled quietly in her ear, pulling her flush against him, his hands on the base of her spine. His voice, throbbing through her, melodic and angry, tense and hungry , ignited something far more powerful than anger - lust. 

“Tell me,” she breathed, closing her eyes and gripping the front of his suit- her forehead pressed against his; his skin sweet relief- she was desperate for his scent to soothe her. 

“I would do anything for you, my love - anything. Kill anyone - everyone.” This was his vengeance, his promise, another declaration of his love. Bella smiled, feeling delirious, powerful. The only thing binding her to reality was him and even then, she wasn’t sure he felt completely real; too good, too sturdy. 

He loves me. He’d kill for me. He has, again and again, and again. He’d do anything for me. Change me. Let me decide who I want to be, where I want to be. He knows me. Understands me. Listens to me. 

“Show me,” she demanded, and when he complied, when he kissed her, his lips felt searing against her own. Blistering. Branding. The battle for dominance was zealous, she refused to be backed up, refusing to be whisked away to someplace else and like always, her desires needn’t be spoken of to be understood. Aro let her steer, let her shove him. When she pushed him back towards the dais, he tightened his arms around her and lifted her as he stepped back up onto the platform. When she pushed him back onto his throne, he lifted her onto his lap, not once breaking the mania of their fervent embrace. 

She rolled her hips forwards, grinding down, spurred on by the way he growled. His hands gripped her waist, pressing against her bruises, a trigger for the pain that shot through her hips and up her back. She rolled her hips again and again, moaning herself once she felt his erection. She needed more, needed to feel him, smell him, taste him. 

Unfastening his trousers was easy and Bella was once again relieved to discover he wore nothing beneath his slacks. Once the zipper was down, Aro’s hands guided her in her occupation to liberate his cock from its confines. He was cold and hard and agonizingly erect- and Bella couldn’t help breaking their kiss as she smiled, her hand wrapping around the base of his penis and tugging up with urgency. 

Aro tilted his head so he could press kisses to her jaw, ridding her neck of the scarf so that he could suck gently on the few areas left unblemished. Bella let her head fall back, giving him more to work with, gasping quietly every time he pressed against a bruise. She felt light headed- dazed- giddy. Her heart, her head, her wrist was pounding. She continued to rub him, up and down, up and down, up and down, as he worked. The motion, compelling, addictive, consolatory. How she wished she could bite him, mark him, claim him. After she was changed, would he let her? Would he bleed venom? What would it feel like? What would it taste like? 

“I want to taste you.”

“ Isabella ,” he moaned, “if I could die, you would surely kill me.” She chuckled, pressing her hands against his chest in order to make him sit back. He complied, putting up the smallest bit of resistance. Enough to make it fun. 

“Can I?” 

“You would kneel for me?” He asked, sitting forward, only for Bella to push him back. 

“Only you.”

“How could I deny you anything, cara ?” 

Bella used his chest in order to push up from his lap, stepping backwards onto her feet only to then, very slowly, lower herself to her knees. Aro’s eyes were entirely bewitched, hungry , she could feel them on her throat, on her breasts, on her mouth. It was exhilarating. Even now, she was not submissive, not when he made her feel so in control, so powerful. 

The marble flooring was cold and harsh against her knees, and Bella had to hold onto him in order to balance, but it didn’t slow her down. Positioning her head over his lap, her tongue darted out to lick the tip of his cock a few times, the cold, smooth surface foreign on her tongue but not unpleasant. His body tensed, the arms of the throne creaking as he opened his legs, making room for Bella to settle more comfortably between his thighs; the position easier to maintain and thus her pain was easily forgotten in favour of a much more stimulating emotion . 

Her lips closed over his head and she sucked, gently at first, taking her time to graze slowly over his slit, her saliva coating him. It made the movement easier to do again, and again, and again - each time, taking in just a little bit more before she’d retreat and start at the tip all over again. 

“ Perfetto, mia cara . Sensational. You are incredible.” Bella moaned, his praise going straight to her cunt. That’s when the arms of the throne came off entirely allowing his thighs to spread further apart, his demolishing grip on the armrests one of the few reactions he could afford that wouldn’t end up in him losing control and breaking her. Emboldened, she continued, taking his cock further into her throat. “So good, my good girl .”  

Jesus- mm fuck , did she wanna be. 

“Meravigliosa-” 

“Fantastica-” 

Bella lost herself in listening to him, the sound of his voice, his moans - his praise, working her up, making her ache. 

“ Paradiso, Isabella. The smell of your cum. I could spend eternity between your thighs.” Bella preened, her mind filling with the memory of his tongue against her clit. She kept going as diligently as she c ould, her head bobbing, the pace gradually becoming more and more erratic before she pulled away, just far enough to flick her tongue repeatedly against the underneath of his head. It was only then that she looked up at him. The unconcealed hunger in his eyes made her inhale sharply through her nose, her hands tightening on the base of his cock. “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. ” She couldn’t help the blush th at accentuated her cheeks, nor the smile that stretched across her lips; an intense giddiness churning in her stomach. The tingle was overwhelming- ticklish- hot, practically mind-numbing. She almost lost herself to the high but the chill of his cum pooling onto her touch, seeping through the corners of her lips, dribbling down her chin, brought her back. Meravigliosa . He tasted incredible- so much better than she could have imagined; so sweet, and so sticky, but with something else, something bitter; something that remained in her throat like the aftertaste of late seasoned honey. Would it taste the same once she was changed? God, she hoped so. 

Aro patiently waited until she sat back on her heels before he reached over and pulled her up from the floor, careful not to manhandle her too roughly. As soon as she was off of her knees, Bella realised just how much they ached, really fucking ached, her thighs too. The relief of pressure was made almost audible. Oh, she was going to feel that tomorrow, and probably the next day too. 

Now that the arms of the throne had been removed, she could sit more comfortably in his lap, her legs hanging down on either side. 

“What do you need, bella ?” He asked, pulling her closer, her dampened panties the only impediment between his cock and her clit. It would have been so easy to rut against him, to ask him to fuck her, to grip the backrest of his throne and ride him but Bella had to be realistic. Her body was still weak, still altogether too fragile.

“I can’t,” she murmured, frustrated with herself. She leaned in closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder. “My thighs are sore as hell- my knees. I’m not particularly durable at the moment.” Aro caressed her legs, traced his fingers along them, pushing her dress further up as his hands moved. 

“Knowing your limitations is a sign of strength, amore ,” he replied. “There is time.” Bella sighed quietly, fatigue weighing down upon her limbs. The longer they sat there, the more tired she became. Everything felt so unbelievably surreal. Edward was dead. He’d kissed her. Used her. Alice hadn’t looked at her. Carlisle would know, would hate her. Aro was vindication, he was fire and refuge and understanding. She’d kneeled, she’d sucked him off. Fucking hell, his praise . Edward was dead. 

“This has been a really weird day,” Bella murmured into his chest, his voice muffled. Aro’s arms wrapped around her middle, his hum oddly comforting. 

“Perhaps a bath is in order,” he murmured.

“Will you stay?” 

“Forever, if you will have me, cara .” Bella let his words ease over her, her gut still reacting to the promise he spoke of, even after everything that had just happened. How was it only Thursday? 

“A bath sounds good.” 

Bella waited silently by the bath as it filled, her limbs heavy. Aro had carried her from the courtroom, the both of them leaving behind one rather unsalvageable throne. Did they have others? Would they have to wait for a new one to be created? The thought of Caius entering the hall to see it broken made her feel both amused and embarrassed; hopefully Aro asked for one of the Guard to clear it away first. The bathroom filled with steam from the running water, obscuring the mirror and causing condensation to bead up on the tiles beneath Bella’s hands. The scent of lavender was potent, Aro having added oil to the water - one of Heidi’s many spa finds. 

Aro stepped down into the bath, his skin bare, and eased Bella down from the ledge. Only then did he help her carefully remove her dress, the bottom of which was automatically soaked due to the water level. Bella closed her eyes, focused entirely on the feeling of his fingers brushing against her back, unhooking her bra. She opened them again when he kneeled down before her, sliding her panties down her thighs, her knees, her calves, so she could step out of them. 

“You are so beautiful, Bella,” he smiled. Sincere. It was the first time he’d used her nickname without accentuating the Ls. It felt significant, like it meant something else, and yet she was too depleted to ponder it or ask. Instead, she reached out for his shoulders and used them to steady her as she lowered herself into the water. The contrast in temperature between the hot water and his cold skin was rough at first, but she didn’t want to maintain any distance. He settled with his back against the ledge, she settled with her back against his chest, resting her head back on his shoulder. 

Edward was dead. 

Alice hadn’t looked at her. 

Carlisle and Esme would hate her. 

Jasper understood. 

Bella sighed quietly and closed her eyes, an ache beginning in her temples. Things had… gotten out of hand. She’d known Edward would react in such a way, had told herself to take the higher road, but he- God, he made her so angry. Remembering the way he kissed her made her grimace in disgust, an expression that only eased when Aro began to trace his fingers down her face, her neck, across her chest. He understood. She wasn’t alone, and would never be alone if she chose to stay. But could she, knowing Chelsea was essentially brain washing the Guard? The ache in her chest caused her eyes to burn; she hadn’t expected to feel so disappointed in such a big addition to the con list. Fuck sake, Aro.  

“Does Heidi actually like me?” Bella asked quietly, clenching her eyes tightly to stop them tearing up. Aro didn’t reply right away, giving Bella time to clamp down on her composure. 

“Chelsea is not able to bind you to another, nor can she bind another to you,” he explained. The tension that had found Bella’s shoulders relaxed again. “Heidi’s fondness for you is entirely her own.” Bella thought about this for a while until her mind emptied, too tired and overwhelmed by the day to care any longer. When she began to drift off, Aro suggested she went to bed. Bella felt opposed at first, it was the middle of the day, but she told herself it was better than fighting to stay awake and giving herself a headache. “I will wake you in time for dinner,” Aro told her as he wrapped a towel around her. Bella thanked him. She wanted to ask him to stay with her again, knew he would if she asked, but she needed to get dry and dressed, and it all felt a little too domestic. “Sleep well, my love,” Aro murmured. He kissed her forehead, an act that had Bella closing her eyes and leaning into his embrace. She didn’t need to say goodbye. 

Once she was alone, she went to her bedroom and stood at the foot of the bed for a while. There were no thoughts for her to get lost in and yet she felt absent. She wrapped her hair up in a towel, pulled pyjamas on over her still damp skin, and climbed beneath the duvet. It was so comfortable. It still smelled like him. 

Chapter Text

The next week went about as well as Bella supposed it could have under the circumstances.

She’d woken up that Friday feeling rather dejected that Aro, once again, hadn’t stayed the night, but her disappointment quickly turned to relief once she discovered she’d started her period some time during the night. Seeing that she’d gotten blood on the sheets, however, re-soured her mood just as fast. 

Bella spent the morning waiting on Heidi, apprehensive about the laundry she’d stuffed into a basket and left by the front door, the linen ready to be taken away and washed or quite possibly burned. She paced between the rooms, sore and bloated, all the while reprimanding herself for losing track of the days. When it reached seven am and she’d grown stagnant, she decided to have a bath to at least partially ease her physical pain. 

Heidi said nothing at all about the laundry nor Bella’s changed scent, asking only of Bella’s plans for the day and if she’d slept well. The mahogany haired vampire arrived with a tray of wholemeal toast, some coffee, and a bowl of fruit, and set the spread out on the table in front of Bella who sat rigidly the entire duration of Heidi’s visit, fighting off the urge to say sorry. It had been a long time since she’d last needed to apologise for bleeding and it frustrated her that she still felt like her very human condition was an inconvenience. Heidi had already told her it wasn’t when they’d gone shopping together, she’d even emphasised the fact by remarking on the Palazzo’s human employees who came with their very human scents. Unfortunately, Bella hadn’t found it to be entirely reassuring. The word undesirable made her body feel altogether too hypersensitive and warm, and she was convinced she smelled gross even though she’d washed thoroughly before Heidi’s arrival. 

So it wasn’t surprising that she only began to relax once Heidi left. She’d continued to pick at her food for a while until her hunger was satisfied and then, true to what she’d told Heidi of her plans, she returned to bed to read. 

Lunch brought about another strained encounter. She tried to return Heidi’s smiles and small talk but it was clear that she wanted to be alone. Or at least, Bella thought it was, which was why she was surprised when she looked up a short while later to find Heidi standing in the doorway to her room. 

Aro wanted to have dinner. 

“Oh,” she’d said, arms drawn in to hug her stomach. The awkward stammer of a refusal that followed after was truly mortifying and once Heidi left, Bella curled in on herself and laid there for half an hour, willing composure to overcome her embarrassment. 

As if it wasn’t bad enough, Heidi stopped by again after dinner. Fortunately, she didn’t stay as she’d only come to deliver a note. 

Aro wanted to exchange digits , a phrase that made Bella snort upon first reading it and then smirk as she made her way through the apartment to retrieve her cell.

Her humour instantaneously evaporated, however, when she saw Edward’s name in her contacts list, condensation forming on the back of her neck. It was easier not to think about it, to pretend like the day before was just any other ordinary day. But as she stared at his name knowing he was gone, remembering how he’d gone, well, it displaced her. 

Or you’ll be the second person I ask Aro to kill this week. Fuck, had she really said that? Had she really ignored Alice’s cries? Edward was dead; that was his choice, his own fault, but- Pain . She’d just stood there and watched him be tortured in his last moments. She’d gotten bored because he was handling it, the agony of Jane’s gift, too well. What the fuck was wrong with her? 

No. No! Not yet, her mind steeled. Not yet. Later. 

Thanks for the digits , she wrote. Sorry for bailing. 

There is no reason for you to apologise, dearest Isabella. It is only natural that you should need time to recuperate after yesterday’s events. I hope you are faring most well and that you will not hesitate in asking should you be in need of anything at all.  

Not yet, she told herself again, an internal mantra she kept on repeat in her head as she replied. 

I’m definitely faring. I don’t need anything but I’ll keep that in mind. How was your day? 

The weekend arrived with cramps, little to no motivation, and an abundance of Aspirin courtesy of Heidi. The only saving grace, besides the pain relief, was that lunch was served with a new journal on the Saturday; a beautifully handwritten copy of Pride and Prejudice with a quote on the inner cover. 

I love you. Most ardently.  

Bella considered sending him a quote in return but given the nature of his, she figured it deserved a declaration of a similar disposition and she wasn’t ready for that. She’d only been in Italy 11 days, she reminded herself. Aro had waited a long time for a mate, she was sure he’d survive waiting a little longer for- well, all that . 

Thank you for the journal. It’s wonderful. 

You are most welcome, my love. I do hope you enjoy your readings today and that your health  improves expeditiously. Is there anything at all that I can do for you? 

No, but thanks. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before. And then, thinking it would be funny, she added: I’ll live. 

Yes, he replied. I do believe you will. 

On Monday, Bella woke up to good morning texts that made her smile. It had been quite a while since she’d received anything of the sort; no one had gotten close enough to warrant the familiarity since Jake - a fact that was oddly bittersweet for her to reflect on. The morning chitchat was just as good as she remembered, if not better, and it set the pleasant disposition for the rest of her day. Aro was getting exceptionally proficient at giving her butterflies. 

Bella took the rest of the day easy; texting Aro here and there to exchange pleasantries, napping in the early afternoon, and finishing Pride and Prejudice after dinner. It wasn’t exactly productive , at least not in a way that she could pride herself on, an acknowledgment that set off a restless current underneath her skin in between page turns. But, despite the fact that she’d moved less than the day before, the lack of pain made it infinitely better as her bed was much more comfortable to read in without the customary backache. 

Her phone lit up with a message just after 11 and Bella grinned before she even had it open. 

Goodnight, Isabella. I hope you sleep well. 

Tuesday and Wednesday, Bella spent her days in L'accogliente Caffè, the corner cafe where she’d written Aro’s poem, not far from the Palazzo. It was the perfect liminal space to disconnect from her body and mind, and everything that had happened to both since the beginning of October. At first, she intended to write, even if it was just some more poetry nobody would ever read, but the bond wasn’t so content with the distance Bella had put between herself and Aro as of late. On the Tuesday, it was manageable, ignorable even. Bella drank coffee, ate pastries, scribbled down notes between people watching and daydreams. On the Wednesday, however, her chest became painfully cold at sudden intervals, to the point where she could only take deep breaths and wait for it to pass. It was usually in these moments that Aro would check in, giving Bella a suspicious inclination that they were connected just a little too well . 

Is there something on your mind, cara? He’d asked after one particularly long episode. 

There are plenty of things on my mind, Bella replied with one hand as she massaged the chill from her chest, trying not to draw too much attention to herself in the corner of the café. There was no way his timing was coincidental. The pain itself was obviously a result of their bond, did that mean they both felt the consequence? Can you feel that? 

Distance influences the both of us most profoundly. He replied, confirming her theory.

Should I come back to the Palazzo? 

It is not just physical distance, my love. Bella was forced to close her eyes as a mixture of emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Of course he knew. You can speak to me of anything, Isabella. Of course she could. Just- 

Not yet. 

The eighteenth saw the end to her self-isolation. 

Bella woke just after six, feeling better than she had in days despite how early it was. A leisurely bath and some tight fitted jeans only improved her mood, by the time seven rolled around, she was more than eager for her breakfast to arrive so she could eat and then seek out Aro. It was with no shame that she could admit she had missed him; his conversation, his mind, his body . It would be great if they could spend the day together or at least have dinner given how she’d spent the past week avoiding him. He would want to talk, she knew, maybe even suggest that they play another game so Bella might find it easier to be candid , but she also knew he would respect her decision if she still wasn’t ready. There was plenty of time to talk after all. 

The knock on her door at seven forty had Bella checking her phone against her watch, wary that it might be running late - but it wasn’t. Heidi had never arrived early before, not once, and so Bella wasn’t entirely surprised to open the door and see Aro standing before her. 

“Good morning, cara ,” he greeted, his voice low but gentle. And just like that, a knot she hadn’t even realised was lodged between her ribs dissolved. Her day couldn’t possibly get any better, she thought as she stood smiling back at him, content to stay there and observe him indefinitely. His hair was draped down over the front of his shoulders, ending just above his Volturi emblem. He wore a fitted combination of black shirt and slacks, and though they were both still fine and obviously expensive, it still gave off the impression of casual wear . 

“Good morning,” she replied, her slow response noticed and acknowledged by the amusement in his eyes. When he stepped into the apartment, Bella took a step back, her eyes drawn to the contents of his hands. “You brought me breakfast,” she said, stating the obvious. 

“I did,” he replied, carrying the tray to the table. Bella followed, unsure as to what to say. 

“You must have missed me,” she joked, her bemusement a front for hope. Aro turned back to her with a fond expression and Bella felt herself warm under the intensity of it. 

“I did,” he repeated. Bella couldn’t help it, she grinned, her stomach tight with giddiness. “And you, my Isabella ,” he murmured, stepping closer, “did you miss me?” He sounded much more assured that she had so Bella shrugged. 

“A little,” she lied.

“A little?” He repeated, his brows raised ever so slightly. Bella pinched the air as his hands found her waist, insinuating she’d missed him a mere few centimetres worth as he towed her closer. “Is that so?” 

“I’ve been busy reading,” she supplied as an excuse, trying not to smile. 

“I see,” he murmured and then forced a sigh, “I find myself regretful for supplying you with such sufficient distraction.” Bella snorted. 

“I was going to come and find you after,” she said, dropping the act as she gestured to the breakfast tray. “Are you working today?” 

“I am not presently needed, no,” he replied. Bella sighed quietly, relieved. 

“Do you, um, wanna… hang out ?” She asked and then grimaced, feeling rather silly for phrasing it so informally. “I could have Heidi come and find you if you’d rather have a more articulate invitation.” 

“Your personal request is undoubtedly more preferable,” he said, “I am most obliged to hang out with you, cara. Is there something you wish to do today?” Bella, who hadn’t thought so far ahead, blanched. If she was being honest, just spending time with him was enough but that felt too intimate to share. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted, shifting on her feet as she rested her hands against his chest. “We could go to a movie, pretend to share popcorn so you end up holding my hand.” 

“Perhaps I might begin to feel tired and have to stretch, thus conveniently putting my arm around you.” 

“If you’re lucky, you might even get to second base.” 

“Lucky, indeed,” he hummed. “And is this what you hope to do today?” 

“No one is hoping for second base,” she muttered, making Aro smirk.

“A private showing then,” he suggested. Bella didn’t doubt for a second that he would hire out a movie theater if that’s what she wanted. The thought of riding him in an empty auditorium was incredibly tempting but he was proven to destroy the furniture and she imagined it would be rather conspicuous. That and they should probably do some more talking before their next… altercation . 

“Maybe some other time,” Bella replied, her cheeks flushed, “they’d probably bill you.” 

“It would be quite a test to my restraint, I agree,” he said, his gaze fixed on the hue of her cheeks which only made them darken. He swallowed. “I could always bring the movie theatre to you.” 

“That sounds expensive,” Bella remarked, her mouth dry. Talking , she reminded herself. “I, uh, I don’t go a lot,” she stammered, retreating from his hold. “The last movie I saw was -” with Charlie . What was he doing right now? Was he looking after himself? Had he organised her funeral? Was he sleeping? “With my Dad,” she added slowly, a noticeably hot ache pressing its way up from her stomach to her chest. “Um.” She refocused on Aro. “Sorry. Uh. I try not to think about him, I guess. Easier. You could show me around some more? This place is like a maze. Heidi said that there’s a ballroom. Where would that even go?” 

“Isabella,” Aro murmured, holding out his hands to her, his eyes sympathetic. Bella hesitated, the thought of talking about Charlie made her throat feel tight. “Cara.” Bella took a breath and then closed the distance between them, taking his hands. “You can talk to me,” he said, arms around her waist. Bella pressed her forehead against his chin, his skin cooling hers down. 

“I- not him,” she said, her voice quiet. “Not yet.” She closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her forehead and then he was pulling away. 

“The ballroom is on the floor above the staff entrance,” he said. “I should be most pleased to give you a proper tour - after your breakfast, of course.” 

She ate as quickly as was polite, all too aware that Aro was watching her, and once she was done, she made a pit stop in her closet for her Burberry coat. It was November after all, Heidi was correct in that the lower levels of the Palazzo were rather cold. Or was it Valentina who had said that? Semantics . Aro offered her his arm as she made her way to the door and Bella smiled, taking it briefly as they left her apartment before she lowered her hand to take his, joining their fingers. 

When they arrived at the ballroom, Bella’s mouth fell open in awe. The curved walls were made of white calacatta marble, embossed with golden borders and vine-like patterns, half columns protruding from the walls with dark candelabra sconces. Hanging from the ceiling were three magnificent golden chandeliers that were equally spaced out to light the entire hall, the bulbs were made to look like candles which maintained the aesthetic of the hall. The ribbed golden plate rail looked like a border for the canvas that was the beautifully painted white and gold ceiling. There were two sets of double doors down the right hand side, symmetrical in beauty; arched with golden rims, exhibiting textualised stained glass. The left hand side had similarly styled arched windows, adjourned with dark wooden shutters that were open allowing in natural light. 

“This is incredible,” Bella breathed as she slowly made her way across the glossed hardwood floor, only stopping to look down and appreciate the decorative floral parquet. In the right hand corner was a marble fireplace and opposite it was a grand piano, the mahogany wood a perfect match to the rest of the room’s furniture and flooring. “I could just stay in here forever,” Bella said, ghosting her fingers along the open top of the piano as she looked around. 

“Then consider it yours, my love,” Aro replied. Bella scoffed quietly, taking his words as humor despite how seriously he’d spoken them. The thought that he could and would give her something so monumentally spectacular just like that was as terrifying as it was generous. To have wealth the likes of theirs, it was incomprehensible. “I am entirely serious.” Bella turned to look at him. 

“You would really give me a ballroom? Just like that?” 

“Cara, I would give you every room in the Palazzo if I could,” he replied, pulling her closer. 

“Alas, it’s not entirely yours to give.” 

“And you would not accept it even if it were.” 

“Grand gestures are too grand ,” Bella conceded. “I’d be more than happy with just being allowed back.” 

“There are only a few rooms in which you are not permitted to enter,” Aro informed her. “This room is not a private dwelling therefore you may come and go as pleases you.” That more than suited Bella, she imagined it would be easier to get around once she was changed and she could remember which corridor led where. It would be nice to finally explore without a chaperone and without the fear of getting lost; she looked forward to it.

They spent the better part of an hour in the ballroom, Aro telling Bella of its history as she took a closer look around, pressing her hands against the smooth columns as she admired the fireplace, trailing the ridges of the stained glass as Aro spoke of their creators. 

Bella wasn’t sure what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go after they left the ballroom, her thoughts compact with information and awe, so when Aro suggested the sight of more combat techniques , Bella was more than happy to agree. However, walking into the training hall , Bella was surprised to find it empty. She followed Aro down the stairs and onto the black plate, wondering who he had asked to spar for them today. She hoped it was Jane or Alec, or even both. Who would she root for in a fight against one another? Jane looked like a stronger fighter but Alec might fare better with an opponent of the same height. 

“Who’s training today?” She asked. When Aro turned to her and smiled, Bella smiled back and then glanced around, bemused. 

“I thought perhaps we could practice today,” he replied. Bella regarded him for a second and then, deciding he must be kidding, smirked, shaking her head in exasperation. 

“Funny.” 

“You do not wish to learn?” He asked, uncuffing his sleeves. Bella’s brows rose. 

“You’re being serious?” There was no way he was being serious. He could break her like a twig. A very thin, weak twig. Aro inclined his head, rolling up his sleeves. “How would that even work? I move like a sloth to you.” 

“You need only learn the movements, Isabella, the speed will come to you once you are one of us,” he replied. “We will move at your pace, I will not hurt you.” 

“Your faith in me is generous, really, but it’s miscalculated.” He’d seen Edward’s memories, seen how often she’d gotten hurt by her own means. Her coordination had gotten better since she’d taken up boxing but she was still her. Aro didn’t look dissuaded as he took both her hands, his thumbs brushing over the backs of them as he positioned them into a defensive position, elbows in, hands up in front of her face. 

“You want me to defend myself?” She asked sceptically. 

“I will not hurt you,” he repeated, regarding her more seriously. “I simply wish to see what you will do.” Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek as she watched him take a step back and then took a deep breath. Training, okay. She’d enjoyed watching the others, been eager to know who would train her once she was changed, this was good, wasn’t it? Well, it would be if it went well. If she fell on her ass, Aro would remember it indefinitely. What if she broke a bone? Two weeks with a cast on sounded awful. This was enough to make her reconsider or she would have, if Aro hadn’t raised his hand. Her reaction was briefly delayed but still instinctual. As soon as he grabbed her wrist, she kicked her elbow out, twisting her wrist and used her forearm to press down against his, shifting her hips so as not to strain her arm or shoulder. If he was human, the pressure would have weakened the connection between his forefinger and thumb, breaking his hold when she pushed out against his chest with her other hand. Aro took a step back, releasing her wrist, a fascinated look on his face. “You continue to surprise me, Isabella.” Bella relaxed her stance but her posture remained tense, she shrugged, feeling undeserving of his awe; it wasn’t like she’d done anything special. 

“Charlie asked me to take self defence classes when I moved to the city,” she explained. “I took up boxing after.” 

“To improve your defence,” Aro surmised. Bella nodded. 

“I needed to,” she shrugged. “Knowing the moves was pointless if I could be so easily overpowered.”

“Boxing enables you to feel safe?” 

“And powerful,” she smirked. Being able to hold her own against guys like Jerome, especially so. “I had a good coach. CJ is brilliant at making you feel talented even when you’re just starting out. I don’t think anyone had ever praised me on my posture before.” It felt good to talk about him, commend him, even if they hadn’t left things on amicable terms. He was a coward when it came to his friend but… but he had played a big part in helping her change her body image. Nobody had ever made her feel strong before. 

“This man was more than a coach,” Aro presumed with a slight clench to his jaw. Bella tried not to grin but really, the thought of him being jealous of CJ was hilarious. 

“A friend,” she agreed and then her smile sobered. “Well, we didn’t part as such, I don’t think. We argued quite a lot, actually. Still, he was good at his job.” She could see the curiosity in his eyes as he regarded her but Bella didn’t feel much like discussing it. Given what she’d done since, adultery didn’t seem all that unforgivable. 

“Let us hope, then, that I am likewise efficient in my teachings,” Aro murmured.

“I’m certain you will be,” she assured, dismissing CJ from her thoughts. “I await your guidance,” she said and gestured for him to continue, and then with a smirk, she added, “ master .” Aro’s eyes darkened, a sight that never failed to set her heart racing. He swallowed; the bob of his throat a foreign sight for Bella to witness, she couldn’t help staring at it before glancing back up to meet his gaze. 

“Yes, quite,” he muttered, as though answering a question Bella hadn’t asked. It thrilled her that she could evoke such a reaction from him, even if it was her mock subservience that turned him on. “Defence is always a good place to start, however I believe as you already have a thorough grasp, we should focus on offence instead. The most effective moves focus on targeting your opponents' vulnerabilities. This is the case for combatting humans and vampires alike, though our areas of vulnerability differ. For a human, you would look to maim divisions such as the eyes, nose, throat, and groin. For a vampire, your focus should be on the neck. Removing the head does not instantly kill, it may still be reattached later, but it is the most proficient way to disable your opponent.” Bella grimaced which seemed to amuse him. “I imagine it is a distasteful outcome for you to envision?.” 

“Just a little,” Bella muttered. “How does it work? I know you don’t bleed or anything but… how does reattaching the head fix things?” 

“Venom is used to reattach the limbs,” Aro explained. “Humans require many organs in order to live, vampires are not alive and as such require none. When the head is removed, our bodies continue to retain their condition; it is merely a case of putting the pieces back together. I have experienced it vicariously, it is fascinating. The beheaded are not coherent, all thoughts cease until the head and torso are reassembled.” 

“Like sleeping?” 

“In a way,” he supposed. “Though it is not such a peaceful experience. The removal of a limb is painful, venom stings though to a lesser extent than it does for humans.” Bella’s brows furrowed. She hadn’t given much thought to the literal - painful - process of becoming a vampire. It would be worth it, she reminded herself, pain wasn’t enough to keep her from getting what she wanted. “Fret not, my love,” Aro reassured, mistaking her silence for worry. “Beheading and dismemberment are not experiences I anticipate to befall you.” Bella hoped not but then she reasoned if she did choose life as a nomad, it could be a very real possibility. Life in the Palazzo would certainly be safer. 

“Because I’ll be the best fighter you’ve ever seen?” Bella joked. 

“ That ,” Aro smirked, “and because we carry the scent of our sire’s venom once turned. Should anyone come across you that has at one time met myself, your scent will be enough of a warning.” 

“So even if I do leave, I’d still smell like you?” Bella asked, oddly pleased by the thought. Aro’s jaw tightened as he nodded, obviously not thrilled by the reminder that her whereabouts post-bite were still up for consideration. 

They aren’t really.  

Bella’s smile fell, the stray thought catching her entirely off guard. Aro, of course, noticed and for a second Bella thought he might ask, that he might press the issue and ask her to talk to him again, but he didn’t. 

“If you are in combat and you do not wish to disassemble your opponent, for instance when you are sparring with another, you will still focus on the neck. In most cases, your opponent will yield once they believe you have the ability to decapitate.” 

Aro showed her a few hand movements that, with the applied pressure of vampire strength, would in practice easily remove the head of another. It was surreal to Bella but also incredibly informative and she found she was having a lot more fun than she did merely watching. 

The afternoon saw them through another tour. Aro showed her various offices, all of which were long since used but still clean and well maintained. When he suggested Bella take one to use when writing, she couldn't help but think it was a wonderful idea, only amplifying the voice repeatedly stirring in the back of her mind. 

She was shown guest rooms, many of which were basic in utilities and decor, driving home to her just how pampered she was with the suite she'd been assigned. It was fit for royalty, and apparently for intended-royalty too. 

The room that surprised her most was the kitchen. Aro was amused at her awe as she moved around. It wasn't much to look at, built for purpose over aesthetic but it was still fascinating.

"I don't understand," she said. "Why order food for me when I could just make stuff myself?" 

"The appliances are not operational," Aro explained. *We have no need for them and the humans that visit us do not stay long." Bella was a little disappointed but then, she never had enjoyed cooking all that much. The food she received was incredible, every meal perfect. Would she have really wanted to give that up for two weeks of some basic homemade replacements, just for the sake of money or independence? Not that it mattered, Aro had already said the appliances didn't work. "Are you dissatisfied with your meals?" 

"Not at all," she replied, smiling to reassure him. "It's just - the money thing, I guess. I hate feeling like I can't repay you, for all of this, not just the food." 

"I am agreeable to an IOU if this will satisfy you," Aro suggested. Bella narrowed her eyes when she noticed he was smirking. What was it he would want in return? Would he cash in at all or would it just be a ploy he used in order to give her extravagant gifts? 

"I don't trust that," she muttered, making him chuckle. 

Aro joined her in her apartment for dinner. He continued to look miscellaneous in contrast to the white and gold furnished room what with his gothic appearance but Bella was steadily getting used to it. If anything, he was still more suited to the finery of the place than she was. 

She was served a soup dish called Ribollita along with Albana di Romagna, another bottle of wine that the chef at Enoteca Del Duca recommended. Aro sat opposite her, looking far more relaxed than he had done at any of the restaurants they dined at together. Bella supposed it was only natural; he didn't have to pretend to eat anything, didn't have to hold his breath or drown out the noises of other humans, and his eyes could remain their vibrant shade of red in her presence alone. 

"I have missed you immeasurably this past week," he said once she’d set down her spoon and taken up her glass. The way he was looking at her spoke of his sincerity and Bella steeled herself for what she was sure to be the beginning of their more serious conversation. "Your absence has certainly contrived fondness within my heart. Though I admit I was concerned for you also. Occasions in which I am forced to guess the thoughts of another are limited and while it thrills me to greet the silence your mind affords, it is just as troubling when you sequester yourself. I lose myself in contemplation, yearn to know of what it is on your mind." 

Bella looked down and shifted uncomfortably in her chair, making the old wood creak quietly. His concern wasn’t unfounded but she still wasn't sure how to reply. What had happened with Edward - it was difficult to process and part of her, a very big part of her, would have rather ignored it indefinitely. But if she wanted any relationship with Alice going forward, she knew she couldn’t do that. Aro had understood last time, he had reassured her. But this was different, wasn’t it? 

"I don't know what to say," she confessed, crossing her arms. "I don't know how to- how to even think about it let alone say it." 

"Then perhaps two minds will work better than one," he suggested. "Do you have a focal point?" 

"Edward," she muttered, her forehead creased. Aro didn't look at all surprised. 

"His death?" 

"I don't know," she said again, this time shrugging. "I've tried not to think about it. Any of it. Alice is- they probably hate me now which I get, y’know, I'd probably hate me too if I was them." 

"Do you hate yourself?" 

After considering this for a moment, Bella shook her head slowly. 

"I- don't-" she stopped and sighed, closing her eyes before admitting what she was finding so difficult to comprehend. "I don't feel remorse, that is I'm not mourning him. I- part of me thinks he deserved it. I just- Jane. " 

"Ah," he hummed. "You are experiencing guilt for his suffering." Bella thought about this. She supposed so, it sounded right but then in a way, it also sounded wrong- because she was facing the same dilemma as last time. 

"In a way, maybe. I don’t know. I feel… uncomfortable that I don't feel guilty for his suffering," she said slowly, comprehending her own words as she spoke them outloud. "Alice couldn't even look at me. I don't know what to say to her." 

“Your relationship with Alice is what troubles you most?” 

“Is that bad?” Bella asked and then groaned, rubbing her face. “It sounds awful.” 

“It sounds only natural,” Aro replied, his tone matter of fact, “Alice is one of your closest relations and you wish to carry this on once you are turned. It is not unusual for you to worry over the state of your connection in the aftermath of such a trial.” Bella knew he knew there was more to it, that it was Alice’s possibly changed opinion of her character that truly bothered her. “Rest easy, tesoro . I do not believe you have reason to worry. Alice knew the likelihood of young Edward’s fate before their arrival. There was but one possible future wherein he returned with them to Carlisle, a future he was keenly aware he could have. It was his own decision to bring an end to his existence. Alice knows this.”

“Him choosing to die is one thing,” Bella said carefully, “me wanting it to hurt is another.” 

“You are not without feelings, Isabella,” he stressed, sitting forward. “What Edward did, he did so knowing it was unforgivable. Your reaction was not only warranted but anticipated. I do not believe Alice thinks otherwise.” Bella hoped he was right, so much so that she felt her chest ache with the intensity of it. 

“She hasn’t contacted me since,” she mumbled. 

“And have you, her?” Well… no. Bella huffed, supposing he had a point. She hadn’t even considered being the one to break the silence, too cowardly to acknowledge what it would mean for them if Alice ignored her. “I see,” Aro said, smiling gently. “Then I heartily recommend you give it some consideration.” She would, she told herself, but she would do it later when she was alone; whatever she said, it had to be right . 

Bella sat back in her chair and finished her glass of wine under Aro’s curious gaze. When she placed it back on the table, he stood and busied himself refilling it. 

"I'm beginning to think you brought this wine with a purpose," Bella said feigning suspicion, taking her glass up once again when he took his seat. 

"I would not have selected this particular make knowing your historical preferences,” Aro replied. Bella figured this meant the wine was either too cheap, too modern, or both. “If you are amicable to the notion, I should love to know of your opinion on a few in my collection." 

"That sounds sophisticated ,” she replied warily. “I’m pretty sure the only feedback you'd get would be along the lines of this is nice and this one, not so much . I'd probably save it for your next human girlfriend, she might be more cultured." Bella smiled, finding her joke amusing, but it dimmed when she saw his expression.

"You have decided to leave me then?" 

"No," she replied, a little too quickly. When Aro smiled then, she realised she'd fallen for his ruse. "Why do you ask things you already know the answers to?" She asked him, somewhat vexed. 

"When it comes to you, I know very little. I suspect much but then, we both know assumptions can be dangerous things," he replied. 

"Your assumptions rarely feel wrong," Bella muttered. The fact bothered her, not because he perceived her so well, that was inevitable given his gift, but because she still felt as though she'd just scratched the surface with him. 

"I have had a lot more time to think.”

"And a lot more familial insight," Bella added. Aro inclined his head in agreement. 

"Indeed, though I find a lot of it outdated. You have become a formidable young woman, cara . I wonder often what it would have been like to have met you back then, when you were still so enamoured with the Cullens. Your loyalty appears to have been boundless despite how few of them truly inspired it." 

Bella sat forward, ignoring Aro’s words in favour of giving him a sharp, curious look. She’d just realised, properly, for the first time that Aro knew the Cullens. He knew them better than anyone ever had, better than they knew each other. All of the questions she’d ever had, he was privy to the answers. Would he tell her if she asked? He probably would. She shouldn’t ask, it was a huge invasion of privacy. But what if she only asked to know stuff about herself? That was sort of her business, wasn’t it? Aro’s brows rose. 

"Was there ever a real possibility that they'd kill me?" She asked. "Not like, accidentally. I know Edward struggled but I mean like… a unanimous decision." Aro watched her for a few seconds, as intense as he was curious. Was he trying to decode her question? Decipher some deeper meaning to it? Did he think it was wrong of her to ask? "I'm just curious," she said. She was going to say that it didn't matter even if they did, that what they'd done in the past few months was enough to make up for it - she was alive thanks to their protection. But a minuscule ember somewhere in her gut told her that the boundless loyalty Aro spoke of was no longer boundless. Her love was conditional. Knowing they'd planned to assassinate her years ago wouldn't impact it, she told herself, but it might shed light on their more honest natures - could she remain unmoved by that? If they weren't who she knew them to be? Or was that hypocritical? 

"There never was a unanimous decision, no," Aro replied, as though he was choosing his words carefully. "Alice knew how important and influential you could become as part of their coven. To say she steered through the less favourable outcomes in an understatement. Her mate, however, rightly believed your knowledge to be a threat. As did Rosalie and, in the beginning, Edward." Bella suspected as much, she found she couldn't entirely fault them given what she knew now to be the law but there was still something strange about knowing the people who still claimed to love you once wanted you dead, omitting Rosalie, of course. Bella didn't doubt that Rosalie still wanted her dead, and on the off chance she didn’t, well, she doubted the blonde would mourn her if she did die. Not that she was sure she'd mourn her either - at least, not in the way she'd mourn Alice. "Carlisle, for many reasons, considered every option, realistic and not, to ensure your survival. Esme, I believe, often unified with his way of thought though she was more hopeful you would make Edward happy." A Mother's love. "And Emmett, I believe he was more or less centred. There were times during familiar conflicts that he thought killing you would be easier as it would put an end to the arguments and fears. However, he was quickly swayed in your favour once Edward decided to court you." 

And now Edward was dead. Did they regret it all now? Rosalie was sure to believe it was Bella who was better off dead, that they shouldn't have returned to save her in the first place. Was that what Emmett thought? Carlisle and Esme? Alice? 

"This bothers you?" Aro asked. Bella's eyes refocused on him. 

"No," she murmured after a beat. "I- I mean, I'd probably have voted to kill me too if I was them. I'm just… feeling sorry for myself, I suppose. Wondering if they regret letting me live, protecting me." 

"And if they did?" 

"I don't know," she admitted. It would upset her, that much she knew. She worried for them, even if her worry cared more for some than others. She would still do all she could to protect them- as long as they meant no harm to her . 

Not so infallible after all, she thought, not that she’d tell Caius.  

"Alice and Jasper have made their wish to join you well known, their pledge extends to wherever you may go - be it here or elsewhere. You will, at least, continue to have their esteem." 

"Maybe," Bella murmured. She was confident she still had Jasper's, but Alice was another story. She should text her - but what would she say? Please don’t hate me. Sorry Edward was such a prick. She doubted it would be well received.

"Have you given your vampiric lifestyle more consideration?" Aro asked. His tone suggested he was trying to tread carefully but Bella could see the longing in his eyes. To leave would be to hurt them both immeasurably. It was to choose uncertainty, to choose the possibility of danger, to choose isolation in an existence already so removed from civilization. Could she really do that knowing she would be happy with Aro if only she'd let herself be? Would life as a nomad inevitably lead her back to the Cullens, even though she knew that's not where she wanted to be? Would Jasper and Alice really leave them to join her, even now? Did she want them to? 

But if she was to stay, could she accept that the Guard were compelled to serve? That Aro would bind whomever he wished to his coven, whenever it struck his fancy? Could she live in the Palazzo knowing she was one of the few with any real sense of free will? Could she let them serve her? It was these questions that made her uncomfortable, but what was more unnerving was knowing the answers to them were creeping just outside of her peripheral. Answers she felt she already knew but was too ashamed to acknowledge. Answers to questions like is their happiness worth more than my own and should I really sacrifice my forever for these strangers . Could she even do it for the Cullens? 

“Talk to me, cara ,” Aro murmured, reaching out to take her hand. Bella glanced down at the bowl between them, as if just remembering where she was and what she’d been doing, and then she stood, towing him by the hand over to the couch. The furniture wasn’t any more comfortable, it was too sturdy to relax into, but she could take comfort in being closer to him. 

Bella relaxed into him as they sat together, his arm securely around her waist as she lost herself once more to thought. Could she really do it? Stay? It had only been two weeks, to make such a monumental decision in such a short amount of time was surely crazy but then so was leaving, wasn’t it? When she had made her decision to take up a nomadic lifestyle, she hadn’t known Aro, hadn’t considered what she’d do if she did find another mate - because the possibility had seemed unimaginable. But here she was. The pain she’d experienced yesterday while sitting in the cafe had been awful, that feeling versus the happiness she’d felt seeing him again this morning. Was there really any other option? 

A gentle kiss to the side of her head brought her back to him. 

“I… want to stay,” Bella said carefully, conscious of the way Aro’s entire body seemed to stiffen and then relax. 

“And this makes you sad?” 

“No,” she replied, trying to find the words to explain herself. “There- I- I have some reservations. Things I know I should ask about. The problem is… is that I don’t think the answers will change anything.” She sighed and then sat up, turning to face him. “I suppose you could say it’s just more moral dilemmas.” 

“It is never just anything if it is upsetting you,” Aro murmured. “If you should confide your worries in me, I will be honest in my counsel. However, I cannot pretend I am not thrilled that you should stay here with me.” The happiness in his voice was infectious and despite her inner conflict, Bella couldn’t help but smile. 

“Is this your way of saying you’re no longer unbiased?” Bella asked, smirking. 

“I have never been unbiased,” he replied. “That is not to say I have not been honest. I want nothing more than to spend eternity side by side with you, amore mio .” And didn’t that just make her stomach ache. 

“Even if there are things I disagree with?” 

“I would be surprised if there was not. We all have our disagreements. There are challenges we must all face, and sacrifices made to keep our existence hidden and thus protected.” Was Chelsea’s gift a disagreement? Was the Guards’ invisible shackles a sacrifice? Would she still ask for their liberation if it, once given, gave way to the possibility of the Volturi being overthrown?

Could she risk Aro? 

No.  

Then it was a disagreement she would have to live with. A sacrifice she knew she was willing to make - for him. To free them was to create uncertainty - liabilities. And, she reasoned, there was also the possibility the Volturi would kill them anyway if they woke and chose to leave - they knew too much. If she had her way, it was lose-lose. 

“Okay,” she said quietly to herself. Okay. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, letting it go. “I have a few conditions .” 

“Go on.” 

“Nobody calls me Mistress,” she started, making him smile. “I’m serious,” she added. “I can’t… command people.” 

“You would like to earn your respects,” Aro acknowledged in understanding. “I will make this known, though I cannot promise your requests will not be taken as such commands when made. Mistress or not, you will still rank above them.” 

“Why? I haven’t done anything. It’s not even like you can use my gift.” 

“There is potential for that yet,” he replied. Bella’s brows rose, her chin tilted down. “Your gift will strengthen during the transformation. You may well be able to wield it, not only to protect yourself but others.”

“Are you serious?” She asked. “That’d be awesome!” What would it feel like? Would they be able to see it? How many people would she be able to protect at once? The possibility that she might be able to protect Aro in a way no one else could was thrilling, especially since she would be a novice at combat in comparison to everyone else. 

“Quite,” Aro smiled. “Bear in mind that projection is not yet a certainty, merely a possibility.” Bella reigned in her hope but not by much. If it was even remotely possible, she was going to do it, no matter how long it took or how hard she had to train. Maybe if she started trying now, before she was changed, it might be easier. What would she have to do? 

“How does it work?” She asked. “Projecting, that is.” 

“Is it different for everyone,” he replied. “For some it is visual, others a feeling. Renata is a physical shield-” 

“Renata?” Bella asked, curious. Where had she heard that name? “Marcus mentioned her. She’s a physical shield? How does that work? Can I meet her?” 

“Renata was present in Washington,” he said, amused by her obvious excitement. Bella’s brows drew together as she cast her mind back. The woman that was there with them; Bella had barely paid her more than a second's notice, wholly distracted at the time by Aro once she’d laid eyes on him. “If a formal introduction is what you desire then I shall see to it. I am certain she will be more than amenable t o answering your questions.” In other words, she would be told to. Bella hoped that once she and Renata were alone, she would be able to build a report of her own with the woman. 

“Tomorrow?” She requested. 

“At your convenience,” he agreed. “Tomorrow is possibly a good day to begin your survey. Now that you are to join us, it seems only fitting that you should meet the rest of our Guard.” 

“How many more are there?” Bella asked. 

“In total, twenty seven,” he replied. That many?  

“Where are they all?” 

“Ten reside within the Palazzo permanently. The other seventeen come and go as is necessary, many of which are assigned as surveillance and are tasked with bringing news back to us.” 

“That’s how you found out about Victoria’s army?” 

“It is.” 

“Who are the ten here?” 

“Would you like to hear them in order of their station?” 

“You mean in order of your favoritism,” Bella amended, shooting him a pointed look. 

“Some are more useful than others,” he acknowledged. “I imagine if you were to compile an order yourself, you should put Heidi at the top as she has been most consistent in assisting you.” Bella opened her mouth to disagree but found she couldn’t; he wasn’t wrong. 

“Fine,” she muttered. “In class procession,” she prompted, her tone mocking, and then quickly added, “with gifts.” 

“Chelsea, whom you have seen but not met . Her gift is to establish ties.” It made sense she ranked the highest, her gift enabled Aro to control not just his coven but their entire Guard. The ability itself was incredibly impressive but Bella was still unnerved by its use so instead of asking more, she merely nodded, a cue for him to move on. “Jane and Alec. Jane is able to induce pain into the minds of others and Alec can deprive their senses. Together, they are the utmost efficient artillery for maintaining order and control over confrontations.” Terrifying and powerful, Bella surmised. “Demetri is our tracker. I believe you are familiar with what this means.” She nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Was Demetri better than James? She imagined so. The thought was both comforting and not. Did anyone ever truly leave the Volturi if they could be tracked thereafter? “And Renata, as you know, has a physical shield. She is my personal bodyguard within and outside of the Palazzo.” Oh . That made sense. That was- It was good- good that he already had someone. Bella forced a smile, all too aware that Aro was watching her closely - curiously. 

“Does that mean she follows you?” She asked, glancing at the door. Was Renata outside right now? Bella worried. Oh God, was she posted outside the door whenever they spent alone time together? Was she there at the gallery? The thought was mortifying. Aro chuckled quietly at her blush, taking one of her hands to hold. 

“Within court,” he clarified. Bella relaxed slightly, relieved. “I do not believe you pose a threat to my life. My heart, however,” he smiled, bringing her hand up to his mouth to kiss it gently. Bella rolled her eyes, despite how pink her cheeks flushed. 

“Keep going, Romeo,” she muttered, unable to say anything else. 

“Santiago and Felix,” he continued, obeying , “though giftless, are stronger than most and are exceptional in battle. Santiago and Caius strategize often and it is not unusual for him to be dispatched here or there to clear up a situation, while Felix remains here for a similar reason.” The executioners. “Heidi, your confidant and friend, is adept at persuasion. Her gift is of attraction, most find it difficult to refuse her. Especially humans.” 

“She also handles catering,” Bella added, remembering the turn of phrase. 

“Indeed,” he smiled. “Alongside her is Corin who has the ability to make others feel content. And lastly, there is Afton. He is Chelsea’s mate and is able to make himself physically invisible, detectable only by sharp minds.” Such as yours, Bella thought. It was no wonder he valued the gift so little. Still, he was part of the core ten which had to count for something, right? Even if his weakness was the only one Aro thought to mention. 

“Where would I be?” Bella asked. 

“You are incomparable, cara ,” he hummed, leading her by the hand onto his lap. Bella rolled her eyes again, combating the compliment as she straddled his knees. It was a slightly awkward position given the couch’s depth but Bella didn’t mind it as she used a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, having height on him made her feel powerful. 

“If I wasn’t the love of your life ,” Bella muttered, her tone dismissing the sentiment. “On usefulness alone, where would I be?” Aro sighed as though to say it was a chore, resituating his hands onto her waist. 

“With projection, you would perhaps compare to that of Demetri and Renata. Without, it is hard to say,” he replied. Bella, well aware he was teasing her, gaped.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t even let me live in the castle,” she said, hitting his shoulder, making him laugh. 

“It is most fortunate, as it is then, that you are the love of my life, mia bella regina ,” he hummed. The way he said the words felt all the more genuine and Bella couldn’t help blushing again, the flutter in her stomach so strong she couldn’t think of anything to say before he pulled her down to kiss him. So kiss him she did.