Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I asked Jungkook to be in charge of publicity for my campaign.”

Namjoons words cause his best friend to pause mid-sip before he gulps down his coffee and sits back, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Jeon Jungkook?” Yoongi asks for clarification, clearly shocked that his name was even allowed to be uttered between them now.

Namjoon nods silently, and takes a sip of his own coffee as he tries to ignore the tightness in his throat when he gulps it down.

In response all Yoongi does it hum, eventually. It was unusual for his best friend to be lost for words, but it seemed he didn’t know what to say about this just yet.

Namjoon almost feels the need to defend his decision, and barely recognizes that he’s already acting defensive when he speaks up again to break the silence surrounding them in the corner of the quaint coffee shop. “He’s good at what he does.”

Yoongi let’s out a half laugh as his eyes fall down to the gold cuff links on his wrist and he fidgets with it, before nodding in agreement. “Well of course he is, Jeon Jungkook doesn’t have a single gene in his body for halfassing anything.” He mutters, as if that much was obviously a known fact to anyone. He was right.

Perhaps he’d meant it in more ways than one, but Namjoon chooses to ignore the multitude of explanations for his choice of words.

Of course Yoongi knew how much of a perfectionist Jungkook was, it’s not like he was a stranger to him.

Yoongi sighs, “It’s just... are you sure that’s a good idea, working with him? You two aren’t exactly friends anymore.” He asks the obvious question that would be lingering in anyone’s mind if they knew his and Jungkooks history.

“I don’t know. Honestly I don’t even expect him to accept the offer.” He admits that much, shoulders slouching in defeat already. He didn’t want to get his hopes up anyways.

“Why did you ask him then? Aren’t there other agencies around here, I mean we’re in New York, there’s a ton of options.” Namjoons knows part of Yoongis statements are out of concern, the other part out of complete hesitation to tell him this is a good idea. Which he can’t blame him for.

“My campaign manager says since I’m so young and unfamiliar with voters, I need the best.. and he believes Jungkooks that. Especially since he’s young, he knows how to reach the right demographic.” It made sense to him after he had to sit through a ten minute rant about why he was the best pick, enough that even he was convinced afterwards.

Yoongis lips purse, “Does Seokjin know about your history with Jungkook?” He can tell Yoongi is being careful with his words, and not trying to yell at him in disagreement about that being a good enough reason given their past.

Namjoon nods, “Of course he knows, there can’t be any secrets between me and my campaign manager.” Seokjin knew the gist of it after he filled him in.. which only earned him a scolding and then the words ‘suck up your pride’ before he’d made the executive decision that they needed to reach out quickly before some other candidate got smart enough to.

“And he thinks it’s a good idea still?” Yoongi seemed surprised that even after all of that knowledge he’d want to bring him on board.

“I asked him what our other options are, and he said if I want to win Jungkooks exactly what I need... and something about how all of the other people with his kind of success in the field are too old to help me make sure I appeal to both young and older people.” It really was that simple, and he really was going to suck up his pride because he does want to win this.

Yoongis shoulders relax, a sign of his resignation. He wasn’t going to try to talk him out of it, which Namjoon was grateful for because he was currently hanging by a fucking thread trying to convince himself that if Jungkook did take the position he would be able to keep things professional around the younger.

Instead his friend just asks, ”Do you think he’ll accept it?”

“I’m not sure, Seokjin called his office earlier but he wasn’t in.. so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” He really was glad he’d done it for him because he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to get the words out if he had to on his own.

Yoongis quiet for a long moment, “It’s been what, three years?”

Namjoon sighs through his next sip of coffee, “Yeah, three years.”

****

It’s a little after 8pm when his phone vibrates on his bedside table. Namjoon could be a bit of an early bird, especially when he has to wake up at 7am to be at work.

He was a civil lawyer and quite frankly well accomplished for a 29 year old, but he always knew where he wanted to end up in politics.

So he’d studied political science and prelaw at a prestigious university as an undergraduate, and then attended an even more prestigious university for law school.. a Harvard Law graduate if you wanted to be more specific. Then he’d gotten hired at a well known law firm by the time he was 24, where he’d worked his way up for the last few years.

He knew he was young to be running for a senate position, and as much as he’d love to somehow pull it off and win the first time around.. he knew his chances weren’t great, because being so young means he has to work to get his name out more. He currently had just about a year until election season, which means a year to get his name known.

In just a month from now the announcement would be made.

The vibration of his phone on the bedside table tears him out of his thoughts, as he pushes the screen to his laptop down and finally takes his eyes off of the legal documents he was reviewing.

He freezes when the once familiar contact name ‘Jungkook’ laminates the device. He really hadn’t expected him to call him personally.

After a long moment of trying to calm the pattering in his heart, from nerves and anxiety that he usually didn’t have, he finally swipes to answer and brings the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” He almost winces at the way he practically croaks it out.. real smooth.

Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice as he greets him back, “You know, I halfway thought I was hallucinating when my assistant said someone from Kim Namjoons Senator campaign called.” It was a bit strange hearing his voice again, but also comforting that he sounded so at ease. It made Namjoons own anxiety level out.

He couldn’t believe it had been three years since they last spoke, when the two of them had known each other their entire lives, that was the longest time since Jungkook was born that they’d ever not spoken.

The ice felt as if it’d been cracked a little, so Namjoon strived to keep up the momentum. He chuckles lightly, “Nope, you weren’t hallucinating this time.”

Jungkook let’s out a small laugh after that, likely forcing it so that this conversation doesn’t seem as awkward as it really is, but then silence follows.

Namjoon doesn’t know what else to say so he asks, “How have you been?” with hopes of sounding casual and not nosy.

“Come on hyung, if you wanted to know how I’m doing you didn’t have to offer me a job.” Jungkook uses a teasing tone, meaning to make it sound like a joke, but Namjoon knows him well enough to know that he didn’t say shit he doesn’t mean and even if he tried to make it sound friendly.. he meant those words.

Or at least he used to know him...

“I uh, well...” Fuck fuck fuck. This was going great. Only Jungkook could cause him to lose his composure like this. He could probably do it to anyone.

“Relax, it’s fine.. I was joking Namjoon.” He can hear the smile in his voice, probably enjoying that he was making the usually unruffled man sweat a little. “I’m doing great, pretty busy as usual with work.”

“Me too.” Is all he says back, which he regrets because now there’s silence again. But luckily Jungkook takes the initiative of filling it, he’s good at that. Always has been.

“So, why do you want me to work for your campaign?” He asks bluntly, tone changing to something a bit more on the professional side.

Namjoon uses the same explanation he’d given Yoongi, “Well, you’re really good at what you do.”

It’s no surprise that Jungkooks next words mimic his best friends from earlier, “A lot of people in my field are good at what they do.. and don’t have our history. So why do you want me?” He can almost hear the cockiness in his voice, because Jungkook did know he was the shit.. perhaps it was Karma that he was making him spell it out.

Namjoon doesn’t know what else to say so he gives the same explanation from earlier about his campaign manager believing he was what they needed in order to reach the right demographic.

After he’s finished Jungkook hums in amusement, “Ah your campaign manager, so I wasn’t your first pick?”

Shit. He really wasn’t going to make this easy was he?

“Of course you are, we’ve had offers but you’re the only person we want... and the first person we’ve reached out to.” There was buzzing going around about him running for Senator already, so a lot of people had made offers for many different roles in his campaign. But Seokjin was picky, and so was he.

Jungkook sighs and silence follows for a moment before Namjoon asks the inevitable, “Are you considering it?”

For the first time in this conversation Jungkooks voice takes a bit of a more serious tone, “I really need to think about it Namjoon.”

Namjoon feels his heart tighten, he was thinking about it.. that was a good thing right?

“-it’s just... I need you to keep two things in mind before you hire me”, Jungkook adds.

Two things.

“What is it?” Namjoon is almost hesitant about where this could be going.

“Well, I’m not cheap. I’ve never headed a political campaign before but I know how much work it is, my assistant will invoice you and your campaign manager my monthly fees.”

Namjoon finds himself smiling at this, if there’s was one thing about Jungkook that was always so endearing.. it was that he knew his self worth.

Perhaps it was endearing but somehow also the thing that lead to their ultimate doom as a couple.

That was besides the point right now.

“Of course, I don’t expect you to work for free.” He teases, surprising himself that he sounds like he’s handling this whole talking to Jungkook for the first time in three years thing pretty well.

“And your second demand Mr. Jeon?” He asks after a moment.

Jungkook let’s out a huff before starting his usual spill that he gives potential clients, “If I take this position, you need to do what I tell you to do. I know what I am doing and I don’t need a client that doesn’t want to follow my advice. If you choose to not do what I say and then shit backfires on you, I’m not going to take the blame for that. I will quit and still charge you my last months fee if you try to act like any part of it is my fault. Got it?”

His voice stayed controlled and stern, leaving no room for argument, a complete 180 from the type of tone Jungkook would use with friends.. but then Namjoon had to remind himself that if Jungkook worked with him they still wouldn’t be considered friends again.

Just tolerating each other on a professional level was enough. Wasn’t it?

He finds his throat is suddenly feeling dry but manages to give a seemingly confident response, “got it.”

After that they don’t talk much longer, Jungkook tells him he’ll let them know within the next week if he’s taking the position.

Namjoon wonders if he already knew what he wanted to do but was just making him sweat, because that’s the type of thing Jungkook would do out of pettiness. Or if he genuinely still needed to think about it after their conversation. If it was out of pettiness, he figured he at least deserved that much.

He spends the next hour trying to fight the urge to look Jungkook up online and see what he’s been up to. And he didn’t mean in a professional sense.

He’d muted his social media on every platform a few years ago, mostly because the amount of time he spent checking his ex’s updates was starting to take a toll on him. He didn’t want to unfollow him because that would seem a bit too dramatic, and then Jungkook would probably notice and do the same to him.

Part of him liked knowing Jungkook didn’t unfollow him anywhere either, that there was a possibility that he checked his accounts as well. Even if he hadn’t ‘liked’ a single thing he’d posted in the time they’ve been a part, it still bought him a little undeserved comfort.

The fight didn’t last very long, when at 10pm Namjoon is laying on his back staring at the ceiling and itching to grab his phone. He sighs and sits up, knowing that until he does it he’ll toss and turn.

The first place he checks is Twitter, mostly because he still had the app open from earlier. There he sees Jungkooks account has gained a significant amount of followers in the last few years, and it seemed like he didn’t spend too much time up there unless talking about events coming up.. so he closes the app out.

Next was Instagram, which he should have mentally prepared for a bit more before opening.

If Jungkooks Twitter had gained a significant amount of followers in the last few years, his Instagram was out of this world.. he had almost a million followers now. Which was kind of insane because he wasn’t a celebrity, he was just very much obviously beyond attractive.

Namjoon scrolls with his bottom lip between his teeth, almost nervous of what could come up here.

Jungkooks hair was a lot longer right now, falling past his ears. He looked dashing in every photo, his page was aesthetically pleasing in every sense.

He’s posted many pictures that appear to be professional quality, and when Namjoon clicks on them and sees Kim Taehyung tagged he knows that is because they are professional.

Tae was a very talented photographer, and one of Jungkooks best friends from college. He used to be his friend too but definitely wasn’t going to put up with his bullshit after the breakup.

Now that he thought about it he’d missed Taehyung and his boyfriend Jimin, who was very bubble in contrast to Taes no bs personality.. which reminded him of Yoongi so he’d always liked him. Though he was sure the guy probably hated his guts now.

He scrolls through the pictures Jungkooks posted with his friends, some with people he doesn’t recognize. Jungkooks very active, and seems to post a picture at least once a week. There’s so many to look through, and Namjoon finds himself smiling at the way Jungkook looks so happy or like a perfect model in every single one.

He was just as fit as always, the only difference being that his hair was longer and he’d gotten more tattoos. His right arm and part of his chest were both filled with beautiful art, but you wouldn’t know unless you saw a picture of him shirtless. Which he did supply, of course the comments were filled with admires.

He’s only gone through the last two months when he comes across a picture of Jungkook laying on what seems to be a bed. His hair is fluffy and his cheeks flushed red, and he’s got a sweet smile on his lips. The thing that really causes Namjoon to linger on this post longer is that there’s a guy behind him, with his arms around his waist and his lips pressed against Jungkooks temple.

The caption simply reads:
Happiest 6 months baby 💜

From there Namjoon feels a tightness that he didn’t even have the right to feel form in his chest. Of course Jungkook had a boyfriend, he was too beautiful to be single forever. And far too outgoing and shameless to ever hide it from anyone, not even his nearly 1 million followers.

It’s like he’s on autopilot when his finger clicks on the tagged mans profile.

Kang Ji-ho was his name, and Namjoon quickly learns he’s the CEO of some type of tech company after a few more seconds of scrolling. He’s annoyingly handsome and tall.

A quick google search reveals that he’s 32 years old. He’s six years older than Jungkook. Jungkook always liked being the younger one in a relationship, six years seemed like a big gap to Namjoon though. He knew he didn’t have room to judge at all but couldn’t help the thought as it crept into his mind.

He should stop scrolling but can’t help it. The man doesn’t post a ton of pictures like Jungkook but does have quite a few, his page was very casual and he’d posted more than one picture with him in the last few months.

The captions always were something sweet or funny, it’s sickening. Namjoon feels sick.

He closes his phone and practically tosses it over to the night stand before falling back into his bed. That night he tosses and turns for hours, that night he barely sleeps.

It’s nearly a whole week later when he gets the call, or rather Seokjin gets the call.

He’d honestly already settled with the idea that Jungkook was going to turn them down, why else would he take so long to let them know what his decision was?

He hadn’t considered that Jungkook actually stressed over his decision every hour of every day for the last week.

That Jungkook was actually having a hard time saying yes and saying no.

That Jungkook knew this wasn’t something he needed to do, but inevitably he would agree to do it anyways. Because there was an unwarranted part of him that wanted to help Namjoon get to where he longs to be, because he cared about him.

When he hears Seokjins excited exclamation from the next room before he comes barging into his office with a smile on his face he’s a bit surprised he has something positive to say.

“I just got off the phone with Jeon Jungkook, he said he’s in!”

*****

“So, tell me all of the skeletons in your closet,” Namjoon and Seokjin sit across from Jungkook in his office, it’s their first initial meeting and following the greeting exchange between everyone this is the first thing that comes out of Jungkooks mouth.

Seokjin sits back with a smile on his lips, “Well this will be fun.”

Namjoon shakes his head and nearly rolls his eyes, “I don’t have skeletons.”

Jungkook let’s out a huff in amusement, “We all do and surely you do as well.” His eyes shift over to Seokjin, who he isn’t familiar with enough yet to know how else to say this without seeming like an asshole. “Do you.. want some privacy to talk to me about everything?”

Namjoon shifts in his seat as Seokjin lets out a laugh, amused that Jungkook would think he would even leave the room if asked. “He can talk about anything with me, I have to know all of his secrets too.”

He can tell Jungkook doesn’t like the implication that he wouldn’t leave even if asked by the way he purses his lips and pauses before choosing his next words carefully and speaking sternly, “If Mr. Kim wants to have this initial meeting without anyone else present, you’ll have to step out.”

Mr. Kim.. he’d been calling him that since they arrived. Seokjin as well, but it’s just really odd for Namjoon to hear it directed at himself.

Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him, slightly amused as he sits back in his chair and says, “Well he trusted me enough to tell me about how you two dated, so I think we’re all good here.”

Jungkooks eyes shift from the other male to Namjoon, a bit of confusion in them but he masks it quickly. He was surprised because he didn’t expect Seokjin to have wanted to hire him even given their history. Surprised because Namjoon had chosen to disclose their past relationship to the man.

Jungkook resigns and decides to move the conversation along, “Okay, well Mr. Kim I need you to start talking.”

Namjoon shrugs, “I.. really don’t know what you want me to say.”

Jungkook nods completely unfazed, “Okay fine, we will do this manually.”

No one really knows what he means by that at first, but then he begins to ask a series of questions. About family history, medical history, financial history, and eventually personal habits and personal relationships.

That’s when it starts to get interesting to say the least.

“How often do you drink?”

“Uh.. I don’t know I have a beer quite often. I’m not an alcoholic or anything.” Namjoon sounds offended by the question, Jungkook had to know the answer to some of these questions already but he still was making a point in asking them formally.. which felt a bit odd.

“What about going out, do you party often or go to bars and clubs?”

Namjoon almost deadpans him for that question, of course he didn’t go out much it wasn’t his thing. “No. I only go to close friends parties and I don’t like clubs.. you know this already.”

Whatever Jungkook was typing on his computer, his fingers pause and his eyes snap up to Namjoon. His voice was ever so the professional tone he’d been using since they’d arrived, “I have to ask these questions, besides if we’re being honest it’s been three years and people change.”

Tension. It could be cut with a knife.. and Seokjin seems to feel it as well because the man let’s out a sigh after the exchange. “Namjoon, let’s not make this difficult. Just answer the questions.”

Namjoon hates being scolded by Jin.. maybe it’s because he’s a little bit older but whenever it happens he feels like he’s in trouble with his parents.

“Fine.”

With that Jungkook continues, asking more questions about drug use and smoking.. which Namjoon nearly wants to scream at him to stop because he’s never been a smoker and besides the few times he’d tried weed in college, he wouldn’t go near drugs..all of which Jungkook knew already.

“Have you been dating?”

Namjoon shifts in his seat, visibly uneasy with the topic change. “Uh.. not really.”

Jungkook looks up from his computer and raises an eyebrow, “Its a yes or no question.”

Seokjin stifles the giggle that nearly escapes his lips, he finds it amusing that the younger was so stern and good at controlling his work environment.

Namjoon sighs hating that he has to talk about this of all things with Jungkook, who is his ex. “I’ve been on a few dates.. had some hookups. But nothing even remotely near as serious as you.” The last part slips out without him thinking, and before he can even overthink the fact that he just bought up them dating Jungkook is skimming over to the next question.

“Have these been men or women?”

Namjoon almost shys away from his gaze, “both.” Mostly men.

“Are you still hiding that you’re gay?” He asks a little too straightforward.

Seokjin mutters under his breath, “Jesus.” Even he almost got whip lash.

“I’m not.. I’m not gay, I like both. I’m bi Jungkook.” Namjoon begins to feel tense again, talking about this.

If Jungkook is annoyed with his response, he does a good job covering it.

Jungkook hums, “Yeah I know you say you like both, but you don’t hide the fact that you supposedly like women. So I’m asking you are you hiding that you like men still Namjoon.” It’s probably the first time he’s called him Namjoon today.

Namjoon doesn’t miss Jungkooks use of the word ‘supposedly’ as if he wasn’t entirely convinced he liked women at all. As if he felt like it was just something Namjoon forced on himself so he didn’t have to admit that he is 100% gay.

“I’m not hiding it, my friends and family know.” His voice drops after saying the last part.

Jungkook seems a bit taken aback and nearly does a double take, “Your family knows?” That was new information. Well newer as in happened within the last three years.

Namjoon gulps, “Yeah.. well it wasn’t easy to explain why we aren’t friends anymore without telling them that we dated.”

Jungkook looks like he wants to say more, but instead he just asks, “Is it something everyone in your family knows?”

Namjoon shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe? Or my parents just feel too ashamed to even tell anyone else.”

Jungkook knows he hit a sensitive subject.. but he pushes on like he would with any other client. “If it was up to you, would you want voters to know your sexuality?”

Namjoon hates the question, and he finds it’s difficult to look Jungkook in the eyes when he answers. “I don’t know.”

Seokjin sighs, “Its really not a big deal nowadays Namjoon.”

“I just don’t think it’s important enough to make it known to everyone or that it should be made a big deal.” Namjoon shrugs.

Jungkook purses his lips and when his eyes meet his theres definitely emotion behind those brown orbs that Namjoon wished he didn’t notice, “It’s important enough for the same reason that you won’t admit it out loud.”

Fuck.

Jungkook was angry. And he couldn’t hide that when those words came out.

Thank goodness for Seokjin who somehow manages to cut the tension after the room is filled with silence for more than 10 seconds. “Next question Mr. Jeon.”

“I’m done.”

“Really, thats all?” Seokjin doesn’t sound so convinced, and maybe Jungkook is lying but he really wanted to be done with this now.

“Yep. Thanks for answering my questions.” That’s all he says, barely making eye contact with either of them.

“So whats next?” Seokjin asks, sitting up in his seat.

Jungkook sighs, “I’m gonna give you some advice that would make all of this a lot easier.”

Jin nods, “Okay hit us with it.”

Jungkooks eyes shift to Namjoon, the same Namjoon that he knows will resist his suggestion because that’s who he is.

“You need to publically confirm that you’re bisexual or whatever,” he pauses but before Namjoon can protest he continues. “If you told me you have been in a serious relationship with someone it would be a lot easier to ask that person to keep the details of your relationship private.. but you told me you’ve been sleeping with different people. And I can’t control that many people. Neither can you.”

“- Eventually after you announce your campaign there’s gonna be rumors that Kim Namjoon is gay. If not from one of those people, then from someone in your family. If not from someone in your family, then from someone that remembers when you and I dated... Do you get it yet? Right now you’re acting like you have this big secret, and treating it like a secret gives it power. I’m telling you, the reaction will be a million times better if you are honest from the beginning.”

Jungkooks words linger in the now quiet room, so silent that a pin could drop and they’d all hear it.

“I haven’t slept with that many people.” Why is that the first thing that comes out of his mouth? Because it’s the easiest thing to be defensive about at the moment, when Jungkook had made such clear points with everything else.

Jungkook does that tongue thing on the inside of his cheek, a sign that Namjoon is officially on the path to getting him worked up.

“More than 5?” He snaps back, pulling the number out like it was sitting in his back pocket. As if that’s the standard number for a publicist to ask for in this situation. Maybe it was.

Namjoon nods, “Okay maybe more than five, but it’s not like I’m hoeing around town.” He realizes he sounds defensive as hell after he says it, but admittedly he was on the defense right now.

“How many have been guys Namjoon?” He doesn’t even beat around the bush, asks the question with no hesitation.

Namjoon aims to do a quick calculation but.. then he stops and decided to keep that information to himself, because it was not looking good to pull that number out and give it to Jungkook. Especially not with the way he was looking like he’s ready for an argument right now.

His no bullshit expression was a reminder that this is literally what he does all the time, argue with his clients. He wasn’t going to back down from it either, it just came with the job and he could do it all day.

Namjoon was a lawyer, and damn good at making an argument too. But..the truth was that it was too many. Fuck.

For some reason Namjoon had thought not having an actual relationship and sticking to hookups was going to be a good thing in the long run, but now he realizes just how much of a fuck up that decision may have been.

When Namjoon closes his mouth without answering his last question Jungkook practically preens from across the crystal desk. “It’s enough right, you agree.”

“I’m not doing it.”

Chapter Text

Things used to never seem complicated between Namjoon and Jungkook before they'd dated.

They had been friends since elementary school. Even though Namjoon was 3 years and 2 grades older than Jungkook due to the timing of their birthdays, they lived in the same neighborhood and would catch a ride to school together in the mornings.

Their parents never intended to become really close friends, but they did become quite familiar with one another. It was easy to build a casual friendship when their kids were attending school together, and they were living in a community with no other Koreans their age around.

Namjoon and Jungkook both grew up in prominent families, in the suburbs right outside of New York City.

Namjoon treated Jungkook as the little brother he would never have. While Jungkook always looked at Namjoon with stars in his eyes.

Perhaps Namjoon was Jungkooks gay awakening, but the older would never realize it.

When Jungkook was 13 and all of his friends were crushing hard on the hottest girls in school.. he realized that he was different when the only person that made him blush was a guy named Namjoon who he'd spend the days with after school. He'd show up at his house unannounced on the weekends and hangout, and they'd have sleepovers whenever they wanted to, because .. they were best friends.

Somehow, even with the 3 year age difference Namjoon and Jungkook grew into best friends and remained that way for many years. Namjoons other friends would sometimes question why he spent so much time with the younger boy at first, they were juniors in high school after all... while Jungkook was a freshman.

Namjoon never let his friends questions get too far, he'd simply shrug and say they were neighbors. And that worked for the most part. It explained why when Namjoon got his license and first car, he'd pull into the school parking lot everyday with the younger in the passenger seat. They'd appear to be always be engaged in exciting conversations about the most random things.

Namjoon had always been a bit nerdy. He knew that. He didn't feel any shame about the fact that he was the smartest kid in his grade, class president since his second year of high school, and on track to be valedictorian when he graduated. Though he was nerdy, it was sometimes overshadowed by his sheer attractiveness that he was unaware of.

Everyone knew he was smart, but the girls swooned because he was smart and attractive. And the guys just didn't care enough to pick a fight with him because he was tall and probably would beat their ass if anyone messed with him. So he'd had a lot of friends, and a few girlfriends at that time, whenever he'd managed to pull his head out of his books.

Jungkook was always smart. But also athletic, outgoing, and naturally popular due to all of those traits. It definitely bumped his popularity up a few notches when he was already hanging out with upperclassmen and getting invited to parties before his sophomore year of high school. He relished in it happily, never one to shy away from attention.

It was around Namjoons first year of college, when Jungkook had began to blossom from cute and confident to.. hot and bit overconfident.

They hadn't seem each other that often after Namjoon started school at Colombia University for his undergrad. They'd talk on the phone occasionally, but it was a little difficult to maintain the kind of friendship they'd had before, when they were suddenly in two completely different places both physically and mentally. But, they would still classify themselves as best friends at that time.

Namjoon wasn't surprised at all when in the spring of Jungkooks senior year of high school, the younger called him and excitedly told him he'd gotten into Columbia as well.

Though the idea of going to Columbia and being with Namjoon again was appealing, Jungkook had ultimately decided to attend NYU. The school wasn't an Ivy League, but it was prestigious enough that his parents stayed proud of him, plus the schools marketing and public relations programs were a far better choice for Jungkooks career aspirations.

It was also not too far from Columbia University, which was nothing to complain about because the two would be able to see each other a lot more.

It kind of threw Namjoon for a whirlwind when he saw Jungkook for the first time in two years. Namjoon had been unable to return home for past two summer breaks since he was working on internships. It also seemed that whenever it was winter break, Jungkooks parents had whisked him away for lavish vacations since they wanted to enjoy the last years of having both Jungkook and his younger brother at home before college.

Namjoon might have choked a little when he opened the door to his apartment and Jungkook stood there tall, muscular, with tan glowing skin, and two dangling ear piercings. Jungkooks ear-length hair was freshly dyed blonde at the time, a new look that the younger decided he wanted to try in spirit of a new beginning.

Namjoon had seen pictures of Jungkook on social media during the last two years, but it didn't do any justice for what stood in front of him.

Jungkook wasted no time with stepping towards him and pulling him into a hug. "Namjoon hyung, I missed you!"

Namjoons initial shock was quickly lifted as he wrapped his arms around Jungkook as well. "Jesus Kookie, when did you get so big!?" He choked out a laugh as he felt Jungkook give him one last big squeeze before pulling away.

Jungkooks cheeks were red, "Ah, stop it.. I'm not that big, look at you." He mumbled the last part.

Namjoon had filled out quite a bit as well, he'd gone from tall and lanky, to tall with broad shoulders and strong biceps.

Namjoon shook his head, "You're gonna have a lot of fun at NYU, the girls aren't going to leave you alone." He joked, not noticing the shyness that seemed to fill Jungkook as his gaze dropped and he looked around the room nervously.

"Well, actually hyung-", Jungkook started but he'd been cut off as someone walked into the doorway behind them.

"Namjoon-ah! I told you not to leave the door open, you're gonna let the cold air out." A smaller guy walked into the apartment holding a box, unphased by the two men standing near the doorway as he kicked the door shut with his foot.

"Sorry Yoongi, I got distracted," Namjoon apologized sheepishly.

It's then that the newcomer, Min Yoongi, took in the new face standing in their apartment. "I thought we agreed Hoseok could have the third room," the man almost pouted.

Jungkook laughed at the implication, "Oh no, I won't live here. I'm Jungkook." He introduced himself without making a move toward the man whose arms were occupied with boxes.

It seemed like the man had a realization then as he looked up at him with wide eyes, "Oh shit, you're the Jungkook! Namjoon hasn't stopped talking about you for days. It's nice to finally meet you."

Jungkooks cheeks redden at the words, he didn't think Namjoon talked about him at all. He seemed completely unaware of how Yoongi eyed him up in down now, as if he was taking in all that he had to offer.

Namjoons eyes narrowed on his roommate as he spoke with a voice that was harder than he'd intended "Hoseoks coming tomorrow instead, his flight got delayed."

Yoongi hummed at that new info as he continued to shuffle to his bedroom with the  big box in his hand.

Namjoon turned back to Jungkook, who was now taking in the apartment around him. It was small, but definitely had all of the space that the three college roommates would need. Namjoon didn't take his parents offers to pay for a more expensive place, one that he may not even need a roommate for. He'd wanted to live with his friends Yoongi and Hobi.

"I uh, I'm sorry about Yoongi, I hope he didn't make you uncomfortable," Namjoon spoke quietly, as if he was worried the other may hear his words through the bedroom door.

Jungkook just tilted his head to the side and met his gaze with innocent eyes, "Why would I be uncomfortable?"

Namjoon wasn't homophobic. He wasn't. He was completely fine with Yoongi being bi, and hoseok being gay. They were both his closest college friends and though they'd deny it, he knew they had the hots for each other and that didn't make him uncomfortable at all. He adored them both.

He just didn't really know where Jungkooks views on this stood at the time. It wasn't like they cared to discuss their thoughts on gay marriage and basic human rights much when they were in high school.

Instead of venturing into the topic at that moment, Namjoon just shrugged it off and offered Jungkook a drink so they could catch up. Namjoon had just turned 21 in the summer months prior, and with Jungkook being only 18.. well he wasn't going to turn down the few opportunities he would be able to drink alcohol. So they each had a few beers in the small living room and ended up talking for hours. It was like nothing had really changed, they were still able to be goofy with each other. Things seemed to pick up right where they'd left off.

It was about two months into the semester when Jungkook was excited to introduce Namjoon to his new friends. Jungkook had been assigned a random roommate in the dorms named Taehyung, but it was no surprise he'd become great friends with the guy. Taehyung had introduced Jungkook to Jimin as well, and the three were already quickly becoming an inseparable trio.

Finally on a random Saturday night, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok met with Jungkook and his two friends.

Jungkook had been back to Namjoons place more than a few times since school started so he was familiar with his roommates, and definitely had gotten comfortable being around them. When the three arrived at the bar that acted as a middle meeting grounds between their places, Jungkook was already standing at the bar with his two friends, waving them over.

Namjoon wasn't really surprised that the three younger guys were able to get into the bar. He figured they'd paid the security guard a little extra to sneak them into the 21+ establishment. It was however a bit more shocking when he noticed all three guys had drinks in their hands as they'd approached them.

Jungkook must've see the confusion on his face as he giggled, clearly already feeling whatever drinks he'd had. "Taehyung has a fake ID, and the bartender thinks all Asians look the same." He explained shortly, then went on to introduce his friends to Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok.

The group got along well as they started chatting at the bar while the new arrivals ordered drinks, and then eventually they moved over to a more secluded booth where they could continue their conversations while it seemed like the place began to fill up with people that were ready to have a good time.

Somewhere along the way a few things became clear to Namjoon. This included observations like, Taehyung and Jimin were gay and totally into each other. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves and had no shyness about. Good for them, he'd thought.

It also seemed like Jungkook didn't care that his friends were so touchy to each other. Which cleared up any reservations Namjoon had previously about Jungkooks views. Clearly if he's best friends with these two, he didn't care that deeply. Which was a bit of a relief to Namjoon since he didn't want there to be any awkwardness between their two friend groups.

After a few rounds of shots the whole table was buzzing with conversations when Hoseok stood up, "Let's dance please, I need to move!" He didn't wait for a response before dancing his way over to the crowded club dance floor. Yoongi was quick to hop up as well, then Tae and Jimin followed, leaving a very drunk Jungkook and beyond buzzed Namjoon alone at the table.

When Jungkook tried to ask Namjoon if he'll dance the older shook his head and chuckled, "I'm not a dancer, but you should go! Go!" He practically pushed him out of the booth.

Jungkook didn't protest or try to convince him further, knowing that Namjoon was never a big fan of crowded dance floors. Instead he'd danced over to their friends and joined in while Namjoon watched them all with amusement in his eyes and sipped on whatever mixed drink Jungkook had left behind.

After a while the group of friends seemed to break off on the dance floor.

Hoseok was dancing with some random girl that seemed more than happy to rub her ass against him.

Yoongi was at the bar getting a drink and chatting it up in an intense conversation with a taller guy that seemed to be leaning in closer than necessary so he could hear him.

Jimin and Tae were practically grinding against each other with no restrictions or care in the world that they looked so good that there were other people in the club that couldn't keep their eyes off of them.

Namjoon, admittedly, was one of those people. He didn't know why but, they just looked really good together? He couldn't look away.

When he did finally tear his eyes off the pair, he'd realized that Jungkook was no longer in sight. He muttered a curse to himself when his eyes scanned the room for his blonde hair, and he couldn't seem to figure out where he'd disappeared to.

Namjoon knew Jungkook was drunk, and since it was his first time partying with him in their adulthood... he didn't know exactly how composed Jungkook would be at that moment. He'd hoped he wasn't bent over a toilet throwing up in the bathroom, like he'd done quite a few times in their high school years, even though Namjoon had warned him not to drink too much back then.

Namjoon had stood from the table and walked over to Yoongi at the bar, interrupting his conversation with the other male in front of him. "Have you seen Jungkook?" He yelled over the music as he leaned closer to speak to his friend.

Yoongi could only shake his head no, "Maybe you should check the bathroom?" He suggested with a shrug, his tone also expressing that he wanted Namjoon to disappear as soon as possible so he could keep flirting with the guy in front of him.

Namjoon could take a hint, and he also took his friends advice and walked over to the bathroom. Luckily even though there was a long line for the ladies room, there was no line at all for the men's.

When Namjoon walked in, only one stall was occupied. And when a curly dark haired guy walked out, it helped confirm that Jungkook was not in the bathroom of all places.

He walked out of the bathroom and followed the path that led to an outdoor area of the club. Since it was his first time there, he hadn't even realized it existed until he'd reached the breezy outside bar and lounge area. There were quite a few people outside, enjoying the last of the summer air before fall would begin to settle in.

Namjoons eyes scanned the dimly lit outdoors area, and he almost didn't notice that it was Jungkook leaning against the cool brick wall, but it was his blonde hair that caught his attention.

Except, Jungkook was not alone. Jungkook was pressing against a taller guy with one hand on his waist pushing him into the wall and the other hand on the wall for support as they made out.

Namjoon was frozen with surprise for a minute. He didn't know what to do, if he should have looked away and pretended he didn't witness that moment. But he also couldn't look away.

It was similar to watching Jimin and Taehyung earlier... except he didn't think Jungkook and this guy looked good together. He just couldn't pinpoint what it was but he knew one thing, Jungkook looked good. He knew that in the sense that he'd always thought Jungkook looked good.

But right at that moment, Jungkook had his tongue shoved down some strangers throat as they kissed feverishly.

Namjoon didn't know if Jungkook was just incredibly drunk and making out with the first person he saw, without somehow realizing that "someone" was a dude. So he decided maybe it was best to check on him and make sure he wasn't making any decisions he was too drunk to consent to.

He walked closer to the pair and awkwardly coughed once.. then twice, before the stranger seemed to let out a disappointed groan and pull back from Jungkook to look over at him.

Jungkook seemed a bit in a daze as his eyes met Namjoons, but then he had a realization and his cheeks started to turn hot and red.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon asked, a bit worried as his eyes scanned Jungkooks to search for any signs that he may have been drunk out of his mind. Only he didn't find that, the man was fine. He stood straight, panting a little since he wasn't breathing regularly before, but his eyes were clear. Obviously he was still feeling good from the drinks he consumed, but he was fine.

"Oh uh, yeah I'm okay Joon.." Jungkook muttered, his face hot.

Namjoons eyes scanned the stranger that was now leaning against the wall. The guy was nearly the same height as Namjoon, he looked like he might be his age as well, maybe a little older. Said stranger wasn't looking at him, but only had lust in his eyes as he stared at Jungkook.

"Wanna go back to my place?" The guy asked shamelessly, seemingly unaffected by the interruption Namjoon caused.

Jungkook looked at Namjoon then back at the guy, as if contemplating things for a moment.

Namjoon reluctantly played it cool. "You should go, if you want to Jungkook. I just wanted to make sure you were okay since I didn't see you inside."

He had questions of course, like why did Jungkook never bother to tell him he was into guys. But then he also realized, Jungkook never actually talked about girls either. He had just assumed his best friend was straight, which was a problem on its own. He wished Jungkook had felt comfortable telling him sooner instead of it feeling like a big surprise now. But he wasn't upset, it was okay.

Did he really want Jungkook to go home with a random guy? No, but he had to admit if it was a girl he probably wouldn't have had any reservations at all.. so he didn't express any now. He had to cheer Jungkook on, the last thing he needed was for his best friend to think his sexuality changed anything.

Some would say thinking this way was putting a lot of effort into being politically correct. Namjoon couldn't help it, he just thought this way.

Jungkook seemed to let Namjoons encouragement linger for a moment, and then he smiled at his friend. "I'm gonna head out then, hyung. I'll call you tomorrow."

Those were the only words Jungkook said before leaning over to say something in the strangers ears that caused the guy to giggle and nod in agreement before kissing him on the cheek. Namjoon dropped his gaze, feeling like he was intruding.

Namjoon waved goodbye as he watched Jungkook leave, holding hands with the stranger as they disappeared into an Uber.

Needless to say after that night, things were made clear between the two best friends. Jungkook, it turns out, was more than willing to be open about everything now that he knew Namjoon was aware and didn't mind.

Namjoon also learned a lot about Jungkook after that night. He learned that Jungkook had virtually no shyness with hooking up with whoever he wanted, and he was openly gay. Even his parents knew, which led Jungkook into eventually explaining how they'd accidentally walked in on him in his bedroom with a guy from his class during his senior year of high school.

But luckily, Jungkooks parents were quite progressive and instead of being upset that Jungkook was gay.. his physician mother was more upset that she hadn't thought to give him the talk centered around "gay sex" in the years before.

Over the course of the next year of college, it seemed like Jungkook had a revolving door of action. It wasn't a surprise to anyone. He was Jungkook, nothing was difficult for him. And even his new college friends were learning what that meant.

Namjoon had dated a few girls since college, had hook ups as well.. but he never felt that it was as enjoyable as everyone made it sound. He figured, maybe he was meant for a relationship with someone meaningful and he hadn't met her yet. So he didn't put much effort into his dating life since, and instead focused on graduating at the top of his class so he could get into the best law school.

It was Namjoons senior year, and Jungkooks sophomore year of college when things began to change.

Even though Jungkook had relied mostly on hookups previously, he was suddenly in a relationship with some guy he met over the summer while interning at a PR firm.

The guy was okay, no one had any complaints about him when Jungkook bought him around. He also seemed to make Jungkook happy enough. Namjoon however, he never liked him even though he didn't say it out loud. He didn't know why, he just felt like the guy wasn't the best match for Jungkook.

He would be lying if he said it didn't make him the slightest bit happy when Jungkook called him one day saying that he broke up with that guy, simply stating that it wasn't working out.

A few weeks following that break up, when they were all hanging out Namjoon could have sworn he overheard Taehyung mutter to Jungkook, "You're never going to have any happy relationships until you're over, you know who." He wondered who it was, was Jungkook actually hung up on some other guy while he was dating that guy? If so, good riddance at least.

But it seemed Jungkook didn't talk about certain things with him. Though they were best friends, sometimes he could see the silent communication between the younger trio, and it was clear that they were all very close. Jungkook and Tar didn't even need to say things out loud sometimes, they just seemed to be in the same wavelength. Maybe it was because they lived together in a small dorm for two years.

Namjoon had selfishly missed spending time alone with Jungkook, it was much harder to plan their time togetherwhen he was trying to be in a serious relationship with someone. Maybe he'd even preferred that Jungkook continued his meaningless hookups, at least then he was happy and still had plenty of free time for him.

Not too long after overhearing that small comment from Tae, Jungkook came over to Namjoons apartment one night when both Yoongi and Hoseok were out.

The two made dinner together and curled up closely on the couch afterwards. It's not clear when it started but, sometime in that last year they'd gotten really comfortable with each other, physically.

Namjoon was not touchy with most people, but he let Jungkook rest his head on his shoulders whenever he wanted, and eventually let him hug him like a koala when they were alone. This was normal for them now, they were best friend of course.

Namjoon never let himself think too deeply about how much he enjoyed Jungkooks warmth, the weight of his body against his as they snuggled under a big blanket.

Maybe it also wasn't a big deal that, sometimes when they were huddled together like this.. Namjoon might get hard.

But he'd pushed the thought of it being an issue aside on the occasions when it would happen. He told himself that perhaps anyone would get hard with this kind of body contact. It didn't have to be weird. It didn't matter that it was his best friend, a guy, causing a stir.

Besides, it wasn't like Jungkook was ever aware when it happened. He was always careful about placement of things so that it wouldn't be obvious.

Until that one night when Hoseok and Yoongi were away. The two had been snuggled together on the couch as they watched some movie Jungkook had randomly picked out.

Jungkook was absentmindedly rubbing his thumb in circles against Namjoons thigh as he watched the film. And Namjoon was starting to get hard, platonically of course.

Namjoon could not focus on the movie one bit. He was naming planets and US states in his mind to keep himself from getting too carried away. He was about to start listing mathematical formulas in his head when everything changed.

Something funny happened in the movie that he was not paying attention to that caused Jungkook to break out into laughter. His whole body moved with him and his hands shifts, the slightest bit upward until they accidentally landed on Namjoons.. hard to miss.. erection.

"Oh-oh Joonie hyung, I'm so sorry," Jungkook pulled away like wildfire, genuinely sorry about touching him there by accident.

Namjoon was painfully embarrassed as it became obvious that he was sporting a hard on at the moment. He was too frozen to make a move as his own face began to turn red when he recognized the realization on Jungkooks face as his eyes seemed to not shy from the now even more visible bulge in the blanket on Namjoons lap.

"Oh, you're um..." Jungkooks words trailed off, his eyes raised as he just continued to STARE at Namjoon lap.

Namjoon stammered on his words as he tried to cover up by grabbing a pillow, "I- uh, fuck this is so awkward."

After a moment, Jungkook spoke.
"It doesn't have to be awkward Namjoon,"  His voice sounded heavier than before, if Namjoon wasn't hallucinating. "What uh, what caused that?"

Great, they were going to talk about it. Namjoon thought that could be a good thing. Good that Jungkook didn't want to beat him up for this.

"Well, you had your hand on the inside of  my thigh.. and, I don't know, it just happened." Namjoon mumbled, his words trailing off.

Jungkook nodded slowly and hummed, seemingly not too phased or freaked out by any of this. Then he suddenly asked, "Namjoon, have you ever been with a guy?"

He knew the answer before asking, simply because he was sure that if he had, Namjoon would have told him by now.. considering how comfortable they were with each other.

Namjoon blinked, a bit caught off guard by the question. "Um no, I haven't. I've only been with girls."

Jungkook nodded slowly in understanding before looking at him with slight amusement in his eyes, and a knowing glint. "Do you think if you were only into girls you'd get hard whenever we cuddle?"  His words took Namjoon by surprise.

The little shit was more than aware of Namjoons previously, not so hidden, hardness that he'd ignored. Tonight however, he really did accidentally touch him and he hadn't known Namjoon was hard already. He just, caught a glimpse of it a few times in the past when he would hide it, and ignored it until now.

Namjoons face was red at the realization that Jungkook knew. He knew all of the time in the past, and said nothing. "I'm, I uh, I don't know."

Jungkook hummed to himself and slowly reached for the pillow Namjoon had placed on his lap, his warm hand covering Namjoons. "How about, if you don't enjoy the thought of the things I want to do to you.. you're not into guys."

Namjoon was in shock. Jungkook was making a proposition to him... and he didn't feel upset about it at all. He felt.. curious instead.

"What do you want to do to me?" The words came out on their own, almost as if he was having an out of body experience and he had no control over what he was doing or saying. Except he did have control, but he felt slightly better since Jungkook was taking the reigns now.

"I just want to make you feel good Joonie," Jungkook looked at him with soft eyes as he removed the pillow from his lap. His fingers hovered over the blanket that remained, he seemed to be waiting for the approval that what he could continue with what he wanted to do.

Namjoon felt like there was some type of alarm going off in his mind. One that was warning him that this was not a good idea, that Jungkook was his best friend and once they crossed that invisible line there would be no going back.

But gosh, he hadn't realized that having Jungkook look at him like he was ready to devour him would be his downfall. It turned all rational thoughts to mud. He knew then that wanted it. He wanted Jungkook. Perhaps he'd wanted him long before, but he was too emotionally immature to realize that the feelings he felt were not normal. It was strange how it all clicked in that moment, Namjoon immediately knew he wasn't straight to say the least.

"Jungkook," he'd whispered his name in the already silent room. "Shit, I don't know if I'm capable of just being a hookup for you." He already knew that he wasn't capable. He knew that if he crossed a line with Jungkook of all people, it would be too difficult to return to just friends.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow at his words, seeming surprised by his confession. "What makes you think I'd let you just be a hookup?"

"B-because you do it all the time. You just said you wanted to help me prove a point a few minutes ago. Well, I don't need you do help me. I'm pretty sure I've figured it out now." He figured out that he'd gone the last 22 years unaware of this part of his identity. Perhaps he was aware but heavily suppressing it and not exploring the curiosity out of fear. But now things seemed clearer than ever.

Jungkook smiled, "I appreciate the honesty, but that doesn't change that I want to suck your dick right now. And I've wanted to do it for an embarrassingly long time."

Namjoons dick twitched at his words. He wondered how long Jungkook had looked at him and felt that way.

He bit his own bottom lip as his eyes scanned the youngers face. Jungkook was looking at him with a sureness in his eyes, having no hesitation towards where they were drifting.

Namjoons own eyes had darkened at the realization that Jungkook wanted him in ways that he didn't think to imagine before.. "Let's go to my room. Now." They were both adults, more than capable of making decisions for themselves. And they both wanted this.

Namjoons heart was pounding in his chest as they slammed the bedroom door behind them and their lips connected. Jungkook pushed him back against the door as his soft lips and wet tongue connected with Namjoons.

In a matter of minutes Jungkook was tugging at the bottom of Namjoons T-shirt and lifting it over his head before throwing it aside in the small room.

Jungkooks lips traveled from his, down to his neck with wet kisses, until eventually they connected his nipple and caused a moan to leave his lips. Namjoon hadn't felt that turned on ever before. And Jungkook seemed to know exactly what he was doing as his wet tongue and teeth lightly nipped at one of his nipples, testing the waters before visiting the other.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Namjoon pushed away the thought that Jungkook was an experienced lover because he experimented with so many people. It didn't matter anymore, they were in this together.

After some time spent torturing Namjoons now red nipples, Jungkooks hand drifted down to palm the front of his boxers. Namjoon found himself doing the same as his hand made its way to the front of Jungkoosk sweatpants. There he found that Jungkook was well endowed and just as hard as he was, causing a moan of satisfaction to leave his lips.

"It's no fair, your wearing so many clothes," Namjoon mumbled against Jungkooks lips as they connected once again. Jungkook wasted no time in pulling away to lift his own shirt over his head and throw it out of reach.

Finally they were able to have more skin to skin contact. Their two hard chests pressed together as their tongues continued to dance. It was almost as if they were meant to be in the moment together, everything felt as if it came naturally.

When Jungkook pulled away panting, Namjoon was ready to protest. But then the younger man took his hand and lead him to his bed before turning and pushing Namjoon back so he sits on the edge of the bed.

Namjoon barely had a chance to register what about to happen before Jungkook dropped to his knees in front of him and shifted himself forward so his body was between Namjoons muscular thighs as he began to pull the older man's boxers down until they were completely removed and nothing remained between the air and Namjoons proudly standing member.

"I didn't know you were hiding all of this in there Joonie,"Jungkook complimented before wrapping a hand around his dick and rubbing up the shaft slowly as what Namjoon would consider an embarrassing amount of precum, leaked out.

"Nice and wet, it's perfect." Jungkook muttered before taking as much of him into his hand as he could and leaning forward to peck the glistening tip with his incredibly soft lips.

Namjoon almost forgot to breathe when he did it. He sat up on his elbows and watched Jungkooks actions closely, and it felt as if he was not in his own body as Jungkook took the tip into his mouth and sucked on it, causing a chorus of curses to leave Namjoons lips because of how good it felt when he took him in deeper.

Jungkook sucked him slowly, seemingly in no hurry to let the moment end as Namjoon was breathing heavy and unable to look away. The feeling, the feeling was incredible. Jungkook had Namjoons cock completely wet with spit as he sensually took him in and out of his mouth.

Namjoons eyes had rolled to the back of his head and he wasn’t thinking when he involuntarily thrusted his hips up, causing Jungkook to gag a little.

“Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to”- he was cut off by Jungkooks sparkling eyes meeting his.

“It’s okay, do it again.” He had been a bit caught off guard before since Namjoon was so still. But Jungkook didn’t mind it one bit as Namjoon got more comfortable and started to slowly thrust his hips toward him as he took him deeper into his mouth, until he eventually was taking him pass the barrier of his throat as the slow thrusts continued.

Namjoon didn’t know when Jungkook had reached into his own sweatpants and begin to rub his own dick, matching the agonizing slow pace that he’d set while giving Namjoon pleasure. But the second Namjoon saw his arm moving, his pleasure seemed to increase since he knew that Jungkook was so turned on by doing this to him that he was touching himself as well.

He knew he wouldn’t last much longer as he gave Jungkook a warning that he was close to finishing. He didn’t know what he expected but he was surprised when Jungkook only pulled back his wet lips for a quick moment to say, “Wanna taste you.” Before taking his back into his warm lips.

Namjoon threw his head back and muttered curses as he felt the orgasm building and then eventually, his body shuttered as he found release in Jungkooks mouth. Jungkook hadn’t shy’d away from it. Instead he took it all as he came, and eventually swallowed all that Namjoon gave him.

Jungkooks hands hadn’t stopped working himself as he quickly stood, still standing between Namjoons thighs as Namjoon sat up. He wanted to make Jungkook feel good as well. Just as good as he made him feel.

Jungkook was still wearing the navy blue sweatpants he’d arrived in, but he quickly pulled them down and stepped out of them before wrapping his hand around himself and pumping his member at a quick pace. His breath was fast.

“Shit Namjoon you looked so good just now, tasted so good. I’m going to come.” Jungkook threw his head back as he worked himself. Namjoon was so enchanted with the sight that he didn’t know what else to do besides watch him in his beauty for a moment.

“Come on me.” The words slipped past his lips full of sureness and clearly he was still so horny watching Jungkook, that his dick twitched at the show in front of him.

Jungkook seemed to shutter at his words, before asking was he sure. Namjoons response was to lightly touch the back of Jungkooks thighs and pull him closer as he looked up at him.

The view was actually too much for Jungkook. Here he had Namjoon, looking up at him with lust in his eyes as he was already incredibly close to cumming and his hands worked his cock.

He didn’t give Namjoon much warning before muttering a curse as he looked down at him and the rhythm of his hand faltered for a moment before one final tug had Jungkook shuttering as he came on Namjoon as requested. Namjoon hadn’t specified where he wanted it, but since he’d sat up and was not so far away.. most of the warm contents landed on Namjoons muscular chest, with a little bit reaching his lips.

To Namjoons surprise, when he licked his lips and tasted the small amount of remains that had reached there, it wasn’t bad. He might even say he liked it

***

The room felt heavy afterward. Perhaps post nut clarity began to settle for both of them as they caught their breaths.

In a few next few moments Namjoon went to the bathroom to clean up, and returned with a warm wet cloth for Jungkook.

Instead of letting Jungkook clean himself, Namjoon found himself using the clothe to wipe away the evidence of their private adventures while Jungkook relaxed under his touch and let him take care of him.

After he was done he picked out an oversized t shirt for Jungkook to wear from his drawer and handed it to him.

They hadn’t really said a word since their adventure ended. But things weren’t uncomfortable. They both just needed a few minutes to wrap their heads around the last hour it seemed. In just one hour, so much had changed. Hopefully it would be for the better.

Finally, they had both settled next to each other on Namjoons bed.

“So, I think I’m bi.” Namjoon exclaimed with a sigh.

Jungkook seems to genuinely giggle at his words, “Clearly.”

Namjoon turned to Jungkook then, with serious eyes. “So does this mean we’re boyfriends? I-I mean we just did all of that, and I don’t think I want to do it with anyone else. Also the thought of you doing it with someone else makes me.. feel weird. I don’t know if I can handle having a casual hookup with you and pretending it didn’t happen.” Namjoon rambled on nervously, something he did not do often.

Jungkook frowned at Namjoons words as he touched his cheek softly. He thought he made it clear before that he wasn’t trying to treat Namjoon like a casual hookup. “Namjoon, you’re my best friend. You mean way too much to me for me to risk everything just to get my dick wet. Of course, I would like to be your boyfriend.”

Namjoon seemed to let out a sigh of relief. He was relieved that he hadn’t lost his best friend that night. Both of them felt a little nervousness at what this new title would mean for them, but neither acknowledged it in that moment.

“So, if we’re going to be boyfriends. Perhaps I should take you out on a date that doesn’t involve instant ramen for dinner”, Namjoons words caused Jungkook to giggle in agreement, the most pleasant sound to his ears.

So many things had changed that night, but neither of them could ever say they’d regretted it.

Chapter Text

Present Day

"Whiskey on ice", Jungkook forces a smile towards the bartender that seems to do a double take as he slid into the open seat next to Taehyung and Jimin in the quiet bar. The small lady was obviously checking him out as she smiled back before turning to make the drink, though Jungkook just ignored it since he never had any interest in the opposite sex.

It was a Thursday night. Usually the trio would wait until the weekends to catch up, but they hadn't seen each other for the last couple of weeks.. and when Jungkook sent a text saying he needed a drink earlier in the day, neither party from the couple declined since that was practically as close to an SOS that they expected to receive nowadays.

They both turned to him, Jimin leaning over the bar to peek over Taehyungs shoulder as he asks, "That bad huh?"

Jimin and Tae both know what ordering whiskey meant for Jungkook. Jungkook, who was usually a fan of fruity and sweet drinks, never ordered a whiskey or anything that wasn't a mixed drink.. unless he was not in the best mood.

It had been only 2 weeks since he got the call from Seokjin, asking if he would head the PR for Namjoons campaign. And just few days ago, he had met with Namjoon and the campaign manager for the first time. Since that day, he'd been working tirelessly to finalize the contract for his services and get some plans arranged. Namjoon would be announcing his run in just a few weeks, meaning he needed to get as much of a head start as he could.

He was planning to have all of his initial arrangements for the announcement in place before the campaign starts, which only left him with a couple of weeks to reach out to his contacts so that the announcement would get as much buzz and attention as possible. It was a slight disadvantage that Seokjin hadn't reached out to him with the offer sooner, but Jungkook wasn't aware of how much convincing it took for the man to get Namjoon to agree with offering him the role.

Jungkook remembered the day he got that first call very clearly. He was sitting in his office, finishing up some last minute edits on a publication for one of his clients, when his assistant Liam knocked on his door and stepped in.

He gave a small smile to the younger man as he made his way towards his desk, "There's a call for you from a Seokjin Kim, he says he's the campaign manager for Namjoon Kim? Apparently he's a lawyer that's running for senate." The red headed man spoke a bit slowly as he recalled what little details he'd received so far. "They want to know if you'd be interested in handling their PR for the campaign."

Jungkook didn't expect those words to come out of his mouth, or anyone's mouth. Definitely hadn't expected to hear that name either. Kim Namjoon. He could not identify which emotions he'd felt when he heard his name. He ignored the tightness forming in his chest.

He just stared at his assistant blankly for almost a minute before his brain caught up and he ended up shaking his head and frigidly saying, "I'm not in, take a message."

The man looked at him a bit curious, knowing he wasn't too busy at the moment since it was near the end of the day and he made his schedules. Instead of questioning it, he only gave a curt nod before walking back out to his desk.

Jungkooks office had glass walls, and he watched as the man picked up the phone to resume the call and convincingly repeated his words to the campaign manager.

Jungkook sat there simmering in his thoughts for a moment and running his fingers through his long dark hair. He knew he needed a haircut...but he also kind of wanted to let it grow until he could pull it into a small bun.

He let out an unamused huff as he wrapped his mind around his assistants words. Namjoon had called him to ask him to work for him. No, scratch that.. Namjoon had his campaign manager call him to ask him to work for him.

Namjoon really had some nerve. He thought this to himself as he slammed his computer shut for the day and headed home.

Jungkook originally didn't plan to think about it too deeply. He was going to tell Liam to call back the next day and let the campaign manager know he didn't want the job. He'd never worked with a campaign anyways, they could get someone more experienced.

But after showering and making himself dinner, he found himself mindlessly sipping a bubbly flavored water as he reviewed the small portfolio Liam forwarded to his email. His face scrunched up at the bitterness of the drink and in his mind he'd cursed Jimin for introducing him to such fruity drinks in the first place.

Namjoons campaign manager had apparently been very persistent and emailed Liam before getting off the phone. Jungkook could almost smile knowing that at least Namjoon hired a campaign manager that had some grit.

The portfolio included Namjoons professional background, almost like a resume. But also included a few keen details that someone with Jungkooks job would probably like to know... that was if they didn't already know Namjoon.

There was nothing in the file that Jungkook didn't already know, especially since it mostly contained overview information of the man's life.

He knew all about what schools Namjoon attended, his career, his academic success. He also knew Namjoon loved charity work and found new ways to volunteer his time regularly. He knew Namjoon was a civil lawyer and often did pro bono cases, cases for no payment, simply if he believed the client deserved his help.. despite the protests he'd sometimes get from his bosses. Though, the law firm could not complain since Namjoon made up for it with the other big settlements he'd won.

Jungkook sighed as he sat his computer aside and stared at the ceiling in his quiet apartment. It was a spacious place, far too spacious for him alone. He didn't enjoy being alone with his thoughts too much nowadays, and wished Ji-ho wasn't away at a conference at that moment. Maybe then he'd be cuddled up against the older man at either of their homes, instead of debating taking a job from his ex.

He still couldn't believe Namjoon didn't call himself. Coward. He let out a huff as he pulled out his cell phone and searched for the now unfamiliar name in his Contacts and listened to it ring. He didn't exactly have a plan when he had done it, but hearing Namjoons surprise by his boldness almost made that phone call worth it.

They hadn't spoken to each other  in 3 years. Not since the day Jungkook told Namjoon he just wanted to, quote, "move on without a constant reminder that the person he loved didn't love himself enough to be able to love him". It may seem like harsh words now, but at that time Jungkook had meant every word.

After that short call with Namjoon, Jungkook truly didn't know if he'd take the offer. Hearing Namjoons voice honestly had felt like reopening a wound that was supposed to have been long healed. He didn't know if it was worth it.

He was finally in a.. somewhat decent place, emotionally. He had moved on and was dating someone. He had gained quite a bit of recognition in his career during the last few years and things were going really well for him. He didn't know if he should allow Namjoon to take any place in his life again.

He took the next week to weigh the pros and cons. He knew taking that role for the campaign could be great for his own professional development. If he wanted to open his own agency one day, it's things like making his name known in the world of politics that could help him build a name for himself.

He already was doing quite well with the handful of celebrity clients and larger business contracts that preferred to work with him at the agency he worked for. But this would be...massive exposure if Namjoon won.

He knew the challenges that Namjoons inexperience in politics could pose, but he was still confident he would be able to make him a well-known candidate. Likeable to new audiences. Namjoon was young but he knew he always had his sight on politics, he wanted to make a change in the world.

And maybe, part of Jungkook wanted to be a part of it. Wanted to play some small role in knowing that despite everything, he'd contributed to Namjoons success. Jungkook knew, with the right political moves Namjoon could even end up being the president one day, if he played his cards right.

A small part of him admired that Namjoon was going for it at his age, even though he'd have to prove his maturity and his knowledge. He didn't think too many people would be unconvinced that he was ready, especially after they realized the man was a literal genius. Despite Jungkooks personal feelings, he could admit that much.

It would be Jungkooks job to mold Namjoons image and make him known.

The only con he could think of was, he'd be working with Namjoon. Namjoon, the man he didn't even like to utter a single word about anymore.

When he called Seokjin and accepted the job offer, he had done so while disregarding the warnings from his best friends. But they both knew it was difficult to change Jungkooks mind after he made a decision. And Jungkook was sure that things didn't have to get too personal with Namjoon. Namjoon would only be another client.

Taehyung who was sat next to him now in that quiet bar on a Thursday night, shook his head at him. "It's only been what, a week since you started working with him? And you're already like this."

Jungkook ignored his friends accusing words and took a sip of the drink that was placed in front of him. "I have no idea what you're referring to. Can't a guy just need a drink with his friends?" He feigned ignorance.

Jimin rolled his eyes, obviously humored by his words, "I'm pretty sure you know exactly what we're talking about Kookie."

Jungkook knew Tae and Jimin didn't mean any harm when they had told him that taking the job was probably a bad idea, they were just looking out for him since they knew how long it took him to become whole again after breaking up with Namjoon. They were the ones that picked up the broken pieces.

"Everything is fine." Jungkook brushed off their concern, throwing back the rest of the glass's strong contents.

Jimin frowned as he sipped his own drink, "I'm surprised Ji-ho is okay with the fact that you'll be working all of those late nights with your ex."

Jungkook shook his head at the suggestion and muttered, "It's not like I'm working late nights with anyone, calm down."

Taehyungs eyes narrowed on him, "You didn't tell Ji-ho about working with Namjoon did you." It was sometimes concerning just how well he knew him. And a bit unfortunate that he could read his mind at times like this.

Jimin gasped at the realization. So dramatic, Jungkook thought to himself.

Jungkook shrugged, "It would be weird if I did. Ji-ho and I don't talk about work anyways." One benefit of working in completely different industries was that they never spent too much time on the topics of either of their jobs.

Jimin pouted, genuinely feeling bad for the other man. "Wouldn't you want to know if Ji-ho was committing to doing extracurricular activities with one of his exes?"

Jungkook snorted at the suggestion and protested with great confidence, "No. Because I'm not threatened by the existence of any of his exes."

Jungkook truly didn't know if Ji-ho would have cared too much if he told him. They'd only been dating for about 8 months, it wasn't like he would have wanted to let the man interfere with his decision anyway.

Taking the job was about his own personal career growth. Ji-ho, the owner of his own start up company, should have been more than understanding if he'd told him. That didn't mean Jungkook felt the need to inform him of anything. He was his own person and if he was being honest, things were comfortable with Ji-ho and he didn't feel like bringing up something as small as working with a new client that happened to be his ex boyfriend.. or ex best friend. Whatever.

"But you're intentionally keeping secrets now. That never ends well. " Taehyung spoke dryly, the brown haired man was clearly unamused by Jungkooks actions.

"Since when are you Ji-ho's biggest advocate? You've called him a stuck up prick several times." Jungkook recalled, knowing Tae didn't exactly like his boyfriend. He'd made it clear that he only tolerated him because he was good to Jungkook. He was still surprised that Jungkook was moving in a serious direction with their relationship, and had completely expected it to only be a short fling at first.

Jungkook knew he wasn't perfect himself, and also knew Ji-ho had his vices. Ji-ho had come into his own fortune in his early 20s after starting his company, and he'd earned everything on his own. So he had a mindset that if anyone made smart decisions and worked hard enough they could be successful. He didn't come from a financially stable background like Jungkook and his friends did, so he had a completely different outlook on acquiring wealth. This sometimes meant he lacked compassion for those who didn't quite live up to that standard.

Jungkook couldn't relate to his views, but it was just one of their differences that he decided he could put up with. At least Ji-ho was true to himself, and made it clear that he cared about him. At the end of the day, Ji-ho's determination wasn't hurting anyone and he was well on his way to building an empire, so no one could say anything.

Jungkook could admit that he wasn't so emotionally attached that he felt like he would say he loved the man.. not yet at least. He'd felt that maybe one day he could love him.

But being in love was a scary thought and he'd much rather stay content with the way things were between them. It sometimes felt like they were exclusively "casually" dating each other.

He liked that he didn't have to be so deeply involved with his emotions when it came to Ji-ho. The man didn't try to pry into his mind and figure out all of the broken things going on in there. He appreciated that they could laugh together, and sleep together.. things were simple. He didn't realize how much he needed just those things when he started dating him.

He hadn't been looking for something serious when the man came into his life. He was barely looking for something that wasn't serious. He'd just been focusing on himself and for the first time in a long time, that meant he wasn't dating anyone. He hadn't even had the desire to meet anyone for a hookup after he broke up with Namjoon. It was a bit of a drought for those first two years after the break up.

But then came Ji-ho, who he'd met at one of Jimins dance company parties and ended up flirting with shamelessly. It turned out he'd been invited by his sister, who was one of the other dancers that worked with Jimin. The man was easy to talk to, also easy on the eyes.. and admittedly carried himself in a way that Jungkook was drawn to.

It was actually quite funny when he remembered the events leading up to that night. His best friends had been continuously growing worried about the slump he seemed to be in. Jimin kept begging him to come to that party, and raving that he'd meet plenty of cute dancers that would be more than thrilled to bottom for him...As if Jungkook was long overdue for getting laid, and this was a solution full of opportunity.

Apparently, he was partially right. But much to his friends surprise, that night Jungkook ended up leaving with the number of someone that was clearly a top instead.. and a little bit older than himself. They didn't complain though, at least he was showing some type of interest in something other than work.

"It's not that I dislike him.. I'm happy he makes you happy. It's just annoying that he clearly has no concept of other people's socioeconomic backgrounds! Not all hard work leads to going from rags to riches. Lots of people work hard everyday, but the way the system is built.. it's 1 in a million to reach a certain level of success." Taehyung ranted with a frustrated huff, ever the humanitarian.

His words caused Jungkook to laugh, "You're rich. Your parents own half of Seoul. Don't act so humble, it's annoying." Jungkook rolled his eyes at his friend.

Taehyung, like himself, would never know what it was like to struggle. They may come from different levels of wealth, but they never had to worry about their next meal growing up. It's easy to talk like this in theory, but when you realize all the work Ji-ho had to do to get to where he was, he didn't feel like it was their place to speak.

Jimin let out a snort at their bickering and slapped Jungkook on the wrist, "Jungkook-ah! Don't downplay it, we all know it's 75% of Seoul!" He jokes in a sing song voice as he ruffles his boyfriend's hair, causing Taehyung to mutter curses when the two began to laugh together due to the teasing.

The conversation easily shifted from criticizing Jungkooks decisions, to the three bickering about random topics over a few more drinks. And Jungkook was quite grateful that his friends, even when they disagreed with his decisions, had decided not to be so harsh.

That night he stumbled into his apartment after fumbling with his keys at the door. Jimin and Tae made sure to call an Uber for him since he'd gotten a bit more drunk than usual for a work night, and had originally planned to walk back home since the bar wasn't too far away. Even the doorman at the entrance of his building seemed to let out a chuckle when he'd walked in whistling a tune not so quietly.

Jungkook let out a sigh as he stripped his clothes off and fell into his bed. He was scrolling through the notifications on his phone. Jimin had posted a selfie of the three of them at the bar, with the caption "Hottest Throuple in the City💋", which causes him to let out a laugh.

He then found himself mindlessly scrolling through his feed, and halting when a picture of Namjoon appeared.

Namjoon was sitting in a garden looking cozy with a book in his hand. Jungkook didn't mean to linger on the photo for so long, but he did so just as he'd done over the last few years whenever Namjoon would appear on his timeline. The man wasn't a huge fan of social media, which was a bit of an advantage for his political aspirations. At least it wasn't like he'd had a million embarrassing pictures that they'd need to worry about.

Namjoon had always been an attractive person, of course that hadn't changed in three years. His dark brown hair was just long enough to reach his sharp eyes nowadays. Namjoon was a creature of habit, Jungkook knew that he probably still got his hair cut every 3 weeks to maintain the length he's comfortable with, as opposed to his own habit of letting his hair grow wildly until he decides he's had enough and chops it off.

Jungkook blamed the drinks in his system for the way his eyes linger on Namjoons still so handsome face, his body, and then down to his long fingers. The bitter taste of guilt and shame came into his mouth for the thought that threatened to creep in, and he quickly scrolls away from the image.

Jungkook sighs and closes the app. He was supposed to be over these little things by now.

His fingers moved quickly to open his Messages app and he clicked on the familiar contact in his recent messages.

Jungkook:
You should come over.

Ji-ho:
It's a little late isn't it?

Jungkook:
Not that late grandpa.

I'm drunk.. and I miss you.

Ji-ho:
Stop calling me that or you're getting blocked

Ji-ho:
Also, this sounds an awful lot like a booty call.

Jungkook:
Yeah my booty is calling you

Jungkook:
I'm serious, come over.. I don't want to be alone right now.

Ji-ho:
Want to talk about it?.. or do you want to ignore whatever is going on and have sex.

Jungkook:
I don't feel like talking. Are you coming?

Ji-ho:
Sure JK, I'll be there in 20

Jungkook smiled to himself and began to get ready before the man arrived. He took a quick shower, then it was almost midnight when he stepped out.

He didn't hear when Ji-ho arrived but when he walks back into his bedroom it's no surprise that the man had let himself in, Jungkook watches as he shrugs off his jacket and hangs it in the closet.

Jungkook smiles sweetly at him as he tightens the towel around his waist before giving the man a hug and deep kiss on the lips. "You smell good," the taller man compliments as he pulls back.

Both of his hands cup Jungkooks face and his eyes scan it for a moment, seemingly searching for some sign of whatever is bothering the younger man before asking, "Are you okay?"

"Of course." Jungkook sounds convincing as his hand slides down the man's back, to the front of his shirt and then under the shirt to graze his ribs.

Ji-ho raises an eyebrow, clearly he was not convinced. But he does exactly what Jungkook expects, he nods and he doesn't ask again.

That night they spend the next few hours pleasuring each other despite the fact that they both have obligations the next morning.

When Jungkook wakes up, the weight of Ji-hos body against his back almost makes him not want to go into the office. But he still manages to peel himself away and get ready for the day. He has to take another shower in the morning since he was too lazy to get into a second shower late the night before.

When he steps back into his bedroom, Ji-ho is awake and sitting up in his bed. "I'll be going to Seattle this weekend. You should come."

Jungkook vaguely remembered the man mentioned that he had an event to attend a few times in the last couple of weeks.. but he hadn't thought too much of it. This was the first time he was extending an invitation for one of his work trips.

Jungkook frowns as he drys his hair. "Don't you have a flight this afternoon?" It was a bit last minute.

Ji-ho shrugs as he removes himself from the bed, "I can change it to later if you want. I don't really have to be there until tomorrow morning. I think you should come." He smiles, the small speck of concern in his eyes goes unnoticed as he approaches Jungkook.

"I don't know. I have so much work to finish this weekend." Jungkook doesn't know why he lies. Sure, he had some things he could finish for work over the weekend, but he was not usually one to dedicate himself to working over the weekends.

Ji-ho nods slowly in understanding. "Is anything interesting happening at work? You don't like to work weekends." It was an observation that the man had made since meeting him. Ji-ho may have let Jungkook move things at his own pace, but it didn't mean he wasn't observant. Jungkook was smart enough to know this, but sometimes he chose to act oblivious. It was a little bit easier that way.

Jungkook didn't really like the question. Was anything interesting happening at work? "No, just have some new clients.. I need to impress them. You know how it goes." He turns to pick out a shirt to wear for the day, ignoring the curious eyes of Ji-ho that he felt on his back as he finished getting dressed.

"I've got to go, I have a meeting at 9." He rushes to grab his keys as he says his goodbyes and gives the man a quick peck on the lips.

Ji-ho sighs, "I'll shower and leave soon." His words earned a quick comment from Jungkook that he could stay there as long as he needed, before he hurries out of the door.

Jungkook ended up spending that whole weekend working. He told himself that at least he wasn't a liar if he actually did so.

***

Namjoon didn't necessarily want to have a big campaign announcement party, but Jin knew better than himself how these things should go and luckily he didn't have to worry about anything besides showing up on time, making a speech, and working his way around the room for the night. Jin had even picked out his suit for the event, claiming that the navy blue suit he'd had tailored for him was exactly what he needed.

Namjoon didn't feel nervous about these type of things, and usually if he had even a little bit of nerves they would quickly dissolve after he got in front of people. He had always been good at masking his emotions, especially with his parents being so overbearing growing up. Perhaps he could be thankful that he now had a talent that he could market on, and it took quite a lot of effort to make him crumble under pressure.

Over the course of the last few weeks, it seemed like the list of attendees had gotten much larger. He knew Seokjin noted the "important people" first and made sure to send invitations, but then it seemed like after Jungkook came on board he'd also had a list of "important people" that needed to be invited.. and pretty soon the event of what was originally meant to be 80 guests, had a guest list of 150.

While most of Jin's people included established local politicians and community leaders or donors that would be key to endorsing Namjoons campaign..Jungkooks included magazine editors, photographers, and journalists that he had some closer relationships to.

Jin was buzzing with excitement the entire week before the announcement. He was ecstatic that the list had grown and claimed that the bigger the announcement the better. He also would not stop talking about how the guests Jungkook got to rsvp were essential for his election success, and how incredible it was that he had those types of contacts at his disposal.

Namjoon didn't miss the way Jungkook was intentionally avoiding being anywhere near him for the last few weeks. He only seemed to call or email Jin if he had anything related to the campaign to offer. It wasn't exactly a surprise that he was avoiding him. Maybe Namjoon was grateful that he hadn't had to face him in person since the day they nearly got into an argument in his office.

Tonight it was finally the announcement party. It would take place in the event hall of one of Manhattens nicer and well-known hotels. To make things easier, Namjoon had a room there for the night since there was no telling how long the event could last.

The party started later in the evening with guests arriving at a staggering pace. Namjoon greeted his parents as they arrived, both taking in the decor of the event before it got too filled.

"Ugh, you should have reserved the Langston instead. This places table clothes are clashing with the flooring." His mother easily found a reason to complain as they settled at their table, their seats would be right next to Namjoon. Namjoon only pursed his lips, knowing that Seokjin was a true perfectionist and had picked out everything down to the type of silverware they would use tonight. It was still no surprise that his mother would be nitpicking every little thing.

"Eomma, it's fine. No one is going to care about the table clothes as much as you." He tries to brush off the unimportant concern as they settled in their seats. If anyone was going to drive him crazy tonight, it would probably be his parents.

It didn't take long for the event to get filled with guests. Seokjin took the initiative of giving a toast to everyone and afterwards Namjoon made his way around the room, greeting some familiar and unfamiliar faces. There was an open bar and buffet for food, many of the guests were standing and mingling nicely. If Namjoon was being honest, Seokjin had outdone himself. The entire event was beyond his expectations as the room seemed to buzz with life.

Namjoon hadn't noticed when Jungkook arrived, but at some point of the night he sees the man engaged in a tight lipped conversation with his parents.  Jungkook had dressed nicely, he was wearing a black blazer over his black turtleneck and dress pants. A simple gold chain adorned his neck.

From afar the three looked like everyone else in the room, as if they were just catching up. But Namjoon could tell from the way Jungkooks fingers clenched the glass of champagne in his hand and the way his straight back stiffened, that he was probably on edge from whatever topic they were discussing.

He didn't know why, but he felt the need to rescue him so he made his way over and cut into the conversation. He didn't think about it as he lightly touched the small of the man's back, causing him to still. "Jungkook, it's nice that you came." He smiled at him softly, pitying him for enduring conversation with his parents for however long, and ignoring the annoyed huff of air from his dad.

"Namjoon. Why didn't you tell us Jungkook is working with your campaign? Don't you think that may be a little.. too close to things." It wasn't a question. His father was completely displeased to see the younger man there, and made no effort to hide it.

Namjoon sighs and mumbles through a forced smile, "Dad, now is not the time."

Jungkook was resisting the urge to roll his eyes, still clinging onto the part of himself that knew being rude to Namjoons parents wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Don't you tell me it's not the time. This is ridiculous. It's one thing to want to be with men in your private life, but now you choose to bring him into this? This is your career on the line Namjoon, he shouldn't be involved at all." His father hissed at him in their mother tongue, his tone heavy and earning a few glances from guests nearby.

Namjoon bit his own tongue, not wanting to cause a scene here of all places. He was surprised when Jungkook speaks up, his voice respectful yet stern as he continued the conversation in Korean, meaning no one in close vicinity would have understood. "Mr. Kim. I have no intention of doing anything besides helping Namjoon become a senator. So whatever your concerns are.. you can find comfort in knowing that there is nothing going on between us and there is nothing to worry about."

His mother lets out an unamused huff. "You know, I just can't believe your parents are okay with this.. the shame it brings to our families, and you being so-"

She is cut off when Jungkook speaks again, this time his tone a bit less friendly. "Mrs. Kim. My parents acceptance and unconditional love is none of your concern, you should keep their names out of your mouth."

Namjoons mom's eyes widen at the bluntness from the man. The shy 12 year old that they used to know was long gone.

Namjoon braced himself for whatever argument would ensue next, but instead lets out a sigh of relief when Yoongi and Hoseok walk over and join the conversation seemingly unaware of how tense things were getting. The topic quickly changed, and Namjoon would be sure to thank his friends later. Jungkook seems to waste no time and takes the first opportunity he gets to slip away from the group.

Namjoons parents were always oddly nice to Yoongi and Hoseok, despite knowing they were in a relationship. It may have been confusing to anyone else, but Namjoon knew it was their own pride that caused them to project all of the negativity they felt towards Namjoon since he was their son. They didn't feel personally affected by Yoongi and Hoseoks relationship. They still were not going to wave the pride flag to celebrate them.

On the other hand Namjoon being.. like them.. was more of a nuisance. It threatened the belief that they had done everything right to make Namjoon the perfect son, and Namjoon knew that was how they felt. Even though they were aware now, things were much easier if he didn't talk about that part of his life with them. Easier to ignore at least.

After some time Namjoon is called up to the small stage and he gives his speech. He starts with a joke about how obviously everyone knew why they were there, but nevertheless he appreciated the gesture. He thanks all of the people that wanted to support him and have joined his campaign. He gives a special thank you to Seokjin that makes the man's cheeks red with embarrassment as all eyes fall on him.

He promises that he won't forget all of the people that helped him become who he already was, and he won't forget the people that are helping him to continue to grow. He guarantees that if he wins, he will be the change and represent the next generations needs.

The crowd seems pleased with his speech and erupts into claps and cheers at the end. After the speech he's met with a few more pats on the back and encouraging hugs. "It's going to be a real pain in the ass when you become a senator and we have to find someone else to fill your office." His boss, managing partner at the law firm, jokes with him as he pats him proudly on the arm. His words cause Namjoon to laugh a little, he'd sounded so confident that he could win.

After the speech the party doesn't seem to be dying down at all. The music picks up and soon there's a dance floor filled with quite a few buzzed New Yorkers.

Namjoon is finally having a chance to talk with Yoongi and Hoseok when his mom waltzes over, clearly in a better mood now that she'd downed 2 glasses of white wine. She's got her arm around an unfamiliar younger woman's waist as she approaches, "Namjoon, you remember Mi Young right?" He didn't. But he smiles and nods anyways as they approach.

His mother, not so subtly, tells him about Mi Young being the youngest math professor at a university nearby, and swoons over the girls beautiful face and figure before telling Namjoon that they should have a dance together. Even though he'd much rather not dance at all, Namjoon doesn't want to be rude to the innocent looking woman, so he extends a hand and leads her over to the dance floor.

"Your mom is really too kind," the lady speaks lightly as a slow song starts and they begin to dance closer. Now, Namjoon could admit, she was beautiful.

He chuckles at her words as he turns her around in time with the music. "My mom thinks she needs to help me meet people. It's kind of embarrassing, I'm sorry you got roped into this."

The smaller woman shrugs and seems to be unfazed, "It's okay, how else would I end up dancing with a handsome future senator?" She was admittedly charming.

They continue to dance for two more songs before Namjoon has to tap out. Just as they're about to leave the dance floor, the photographer for the party stops them and takes a picture of them together. "A lovely couple," the photographer compliments before wandering off to the next guests, leaving no time for Namjoon to correct her.

The words caused Mi Young to giggle, "Would you look at that, you and I are a lovely couple already!" The lady jokes with him easily, causing Namjoon to laugh. A genuine laugh, unlike the fake ones he'd been passing around all night.

"You know, I got a room in this hotel.." the woman informs him quietly.

Namjoon smiles cheekily as he leans in slightly, "Oh? Interesting, so do I."

The woman blushes as she speaks, "I think I'm going to head up. But if you want to come join me later.. here is my number." She reaches into her wallet and pulls out a business card. Namjoon was a little surprised by her forwardness, but he takes the card anyways and makes no promises since frankly, he wasn't sure if he'd have any energy after this party ended.

With that, the woman turns and walks out of the banquet room, seemingly twisting her hips as if she knew he was watching. Maybe he could work up the energy, he thinks.

It does seem like things are dying down, and when Namjoon finally has a moment to catch his breath, he walks out to the quiet outdoor patio. He doesn't expect anyone else to be out there but as he rounds the corner, he spots Jungkook leaning against the railing with a glass of something much stronger than champagne sitting in front of him, and a cigarette hanging from his fingers.

He debates turning back around, but instead speaks to the man. "Do you still only smoke cigarettes when you're drunk?"

He must startle Jungkook because he seems to jump at the sound of his voice as he turns to him with his hand over his chest. "Shit, a little warning next time would be nice."

Namjoon chuckles as he takes his place next to him, "I just got here, that was the warning."

In a moment of confidence, he grabs the lit substance from his fingers and brings it to his own lips. He drawls in a slow breath, but soon begins to cough it out as an herbal sting settles in the back of his throat. Jungkook was not smoking a cigarette. He was smoking a blunt.

"Are you crazy? Why are you smoking that here?" He manages to ask between coughing fits, his head turning to check if anyone else could see them.

Jungkook shrugs and shakes his head, "It's legal here. And you didn't ask me if you could have a smoke so it's your own fault." Namjoon notices the way his words slur very slightly, clearly Jungkook was having a very different party than he was tonight. Most people probably would not have noticed, but he could always tell when Jungkook was just a little intoxicated, or pass that and near reaching his limit.

The way he spoke now told him that he was getting to that point.

Maybe he was a little relieved that at least he was having a good time. "You're really drunk aren't you?" It wasn't really a surprise, Jungkook always knew how to enjoy a party.

Jungkook turns to him, cheeks red from the cold air as he nods and sighs. "Yeah, drunk.. and high. I probably should go home actually." He mumbles the last part as he looks inside the party and sees there are less people remaining.

Namjoon can't hide his concern, "You didn't drive did you?"

Jungkook seems taken aback by his tone, "No, I'm not a complete dumbass, I took an Uber," he slurs with a proud smile on his lips.

Namjoon feels a little bit lightheaded, perhaps from the one puff of smoke he'd taken.

Jungkook pulls his phone out and opens the rideshare app, but frowns when it says the next available driver would not arrive for another 45 minutes. "Fucking hell." He mumbles to himself.

Namjoon laughs, it was very Jungkook to curse more when he's drunk than when he's sober.

"What are you doing out here, it's gotten kind of chilly right?" He asks him as the cold breeze causes him to stiffen.

Jungkook speaks quietly, "Just needed some air."

Namjoon remembers their painfully embarrassing conversation from earlier, "I'm sorry about my parents. They're.. well you already know. I just wish they hadn't said all of those things to you. You don't deserve any of that."

Jungkook turns to him with a huff, "You're sorry to me? I'm sorry that you have to deal with that everyday." He knew things had to be very difficult for Namjoon now, especially with his parents being the way they were.

Namjoon lets out a dry laugh. "Don't feel sorry for me. I can handle my parents disappointment just fine without all of the pity going around."

Namjoons words cause Jungkook to frown and speak softy, "You don't deserve it. No one does. Your parents should be proud of you." He sounded like he meant it, Namjoon knew he did.

Namjoon wears a pained expression, "I know I don't deserve it. But I don't deserve a lot of things...just seems to be my life." Things like Jungkook.

Jungkook unfortunately understands his words, reading between his lines so well, as he'd always been able to do. "Namjoon hyung, don't say stuff like that." His dark eyes meet Namjoons, with emotions that Jungkook lacked control over.

It was the first time he'd heard him call his name in three years, and Jungkook seems to realize the words that slipped out afterwards. "Sorry, I uh.. Mr. Kim."

"Jungkook. Please don't call me Mr. Kim anymore, it makes me want to pull my hair out." He exclaims, earning a slow nod and a small laugh from Jungkook. It was nice to hear his laughter again. Namjoon didn't know how much he missed that sound until now.

"Fine. Can't have you losing your hair too soon. You're almost 30, better hold onto it." He jokes, and Namjoon can't help the genuine laughter that escapes his lips and fills the quiet night.

For a while he and Jungkook stay in a comfortable silence, just watching a few more people leave the party.

"You looked good with her, Mi Young." Jungkook says it suddenly.

Namjoon looks at him, surprised he knew the lady's name. "How do you know-"

Jungkook laughs cutely, "I know a lot of people. The university is actually one of our clients on contract. Last year they wanted to make sure as many people as possible heard about their youngest female math professor. It was a much better news story to run than the 3 fraternities they had to shut down due to finding drugs on campus."

Namjoon mouthed an 'O', of course he knew Jungkooks job often involved bringing light to certain things so that others could stay in the dark.

"I don't really know her. It was my first time talking to her tonight." He felt the need to clarify this. He'd already forgotten about being invited up to her room.

Jungkook hums, "Then I'll tell the photographer to delete the picture they took of you two. Otherwise your opponents will frame you as a womanizer since you're young and unmarried." And hot, he almost adds.. but leaves that part out.

Namjoons face scrunches up, "You really think that would happen?" He knew he was entering the world of politics now, things wouldn't be the same as they were when he argued a case in court. There would be no fair judgement besides his constituents in the end.

"You're running for senator Namjoon. You're young, smart, and you have a clean slate in politics. I don't think you realize how big of a competitor you are. Those old hags should be afraid of you. Look at the kind of turnout you got for an announcement." Jungkooks actually sounded excited.

He continues, "They're going to dig. They're going to try to find something.. and when they don't find anything they'll cling on to whatever little piece of a puzzle that they can and try to take you out of the race."

He takes a sip from the glass in front of him. "-But they don't have me. And I happen to have a lot of friends, and my friends have dirt on them as well. And trust me, my dirt is bad enough to actually ruin their careers. So you're in safe hands."

Namjoon knew he was. Between Seokjins efforts and Jungkooks, he did feel like he was in safe hands.

"My parents want me to get married," Namjoon doesn't know why he's sharing this information with Jungkook so suddenly, but he sees the younger man's body stiffen at his words.

"They want you to have an arranged marriage or something?" Jungkook sounded irritated but not surprised.

Namjoon nods, "Yeah, they said I'm not getting any younger. I told them I'm not interested but it seems like my mom is on a mission." Hence the reason why she practically threw Mi Young at him. His parents were ready for him to settle down and give them grandkids.

It was frustrating that they'd ignored that he was his own person, even now. With all of his accomplishments so far, nothing was ever going to be good enough for them. He was always lacking something in their eyes.

He didn't know why he was talking about this now with Jungkook of all people, but he felt the need to say it out loud. He hadn't even told Hoseok and Yoongi about his mother's insane efforts in the last few months. Talking with Jungkook felt familiar, he missed it. Maybe he missed having him as his best friend even more than his lover.

Of course he could talk to Yoongi and Hoseok about it. He just wasn't ready. They wouldn't understand the pressure his parents put on him to the same extent as Jungkook. Jungkook and him had so much history.

His mother had practically made a list of all the accomplished female "candidates" that had a Korean last name in the city and are 25-35 years old. She had not been taking Namjoons disinterest seriously.

"Well, if this was 50 years ago, I would say that getting married would make you appear as more trustworthy to voters. But we're not living in ancient times, and you're far too smart to do something so reckless." Jungkook seemed to have formed a strong opinion on this in the last 20 seconds.

"-I mean, if you marry someone that you feel nothing for, in the long run you'd be unhappy anyways. And a divorced politician is much more distracting than an unmarried one."

Namjoon let out a breath and leaned on the rail in front of them, "I don't even know if I believe in marriage anyways. Maybe it's easier to just marry someone that I feel nothing for."

Jungkook frowns at his words, "Since when do you not believe in marriage?"

Namjoon wants to say, since he managed to lose the only person he'd ever loved. But he doesn't. Instead he mumbles, "I just don't see the point."

Jungkook looks displeased, "Namjoon, don't let your parents force you to make a commitment to someone that you don't give a shit about. This is your life."

Namjoon knew that Jungkooks philosophy made sense but, it wasn't that simple. "It sounds easy. But.. you have no idea how terrible things got after I told them about everything." About you. Us.

Jungkook had been wondering when and how Namjoon got the confidence to share the nature of their relationship with his parents, ever since they met that day in his office and the topic came up.

"I didn't want to tell them. I was just so, depressed, for a while that even my parents noticed. And then when they came to our old apartment and your room was completely empty, they asked me where you were and-".. and he had completely broke down at the mention of Jungkooks name. The room that Jungkook never slept in was vacant, just like his heart.

"So I told them we'd been dating for a few years, and we broke up." Namjoon shuttered at the memory of the shock and immediately disappointment in hearing that their son had been in a relationship with a man who they'd welcomed into their home many times.

Jungkooks throat tightened, he knew it couldn't have been easy. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you went through that." Jungkook always understood that Namjoon had good reason to be weary of his parents. When they were dating, he imagined that whenever Namjoon was ready to cross that bridge he would be there for him.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay. They prefer to ignore it now and cling on to the fact that I told them I like women too instead." It was true, they didn't talk about it.

"But tonight, I guess seeing you bought out the worst of them. They never should have talked to you like that." Namjoon had felt anger forming in his chest when he remembered. He could handle the disappointment on his own, but he didn't like it when they tried to push it on Jungkook. He felt that Jungkook deserved to be happy.

Jungkooks hand gently rests over his on the rail, a light touch that he didn't know he longed for. Namjoon didn't move away, instead he just clinged onto the familiar warmth. "You don't have to worry about my feelings Namjoon. I'm a big boy, I can handle a few uncomfortable moments with your parents. It's you that I'm more worried about." He worried that one day Namjoon would crumble under the pressure.

Jungkooks phone lights up, stealing his attention as he pulls his hand away. Namjoon lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he watches the youngers face fill with annoyance while he reads over the screen, "Are you kidding me? The driver cancelled. I have to wait another hour now."

In just a few seconds, the seriousness of the conversation before is forgotten. The touch they'd shared disregarded..Or rather ignored between the two of them.

Namjoon takes out his own phone to look at the time, ignoring the recent texts from Yoongi and Seokjin that appeared. It was already midnight. "Jungkook, just stay in my room."

Jungkooks eyes widened, he looked absolutely mortified, "I'm not that drunk."

Namjoon dead pans him, "You're really drunk if you think I would come on to you right now. And I'm serious, it's already 12am.. if you keep waiting you'll be here all night. I have a suite upstairs tonight, you can have the couch and leave when you wake up."

Jungkook seems to contemplate his words, but then the next thing that comes out of his mouth is stupidity, "What do you mean by you wouldn't come on to me? Do I not do it for you anymore?" He wore an overly offended pout on his lips.

He was clearly joking, but Namjoon still rolls his eyes, he actually hated that Jungkook managed to look hot while pouting. "I wouldn't come on to you because you have a boyfriend, and we're not together anymore." His words caused Jungkooks mouth to dry. He didn't realize Namjoon knew his relationship status, but he also knew he shouldn't have been so surprised, since it wasn't like it was a secret.

He suddenly felt ashamed, he'd unintentionally started flirting with Namjoon. That was a mistake.

"You really need to lay down, come on." Namjoon turns and heads back inside the hotel, without halting since he hears Jungkooks steps following behind him.

Luckily there's no one remaining inside the party besides the cleaning staff, so no one stops them before they reach the elevators in the lobby.

When they reach the 15th floor, Namjoon steps out and Jungkook follows him. He was being uncharacteristically quiet now as they approached the suite and Namjoon opened the door.

Namjoon keeps his promise and sets up the pull out couch mattress for Jungkook to sleep on. He even grabs an extra clean shirt he'd packed and gives it to him, earning a muttered thank you.

Jungkook goes into the bathroom to change, and when he returns he's wearing Namjoons loose fitting shirt and the boxers he'd originally been wearing under his clothes.

Namjoon nearly chokes on his water as he sips it in the kitchen space, he hadn't really thought this through. Seeing Jungkook in his clothes felt nostalgic, in an undeservingly torturous way.

Jungkook promises he'll be gone early in the morning, only planning to sleep off everything for a few hours. But Namjoon tells him he has to check out by 11 so it wouldn't really bother him if he slept in as well.

They end up awkwardly exchanging goodnights before Namjoon goes into the bedroom. He shuts the door behind him and lets out a deep breath as he loosens his tie. He didn't expect this night to end with his ex boyfriend sleeping on the other side of the his hotel bedroom door.

His phone vibrates again in his pocket, a reminder of the messages he received. 2 texts from Yoongi, 1 from Seokjin.

Yoongi Hyung (30 minutes ago):
Hey, I saw you talking to Jungkook.. everything okay?

Yoongi Hyung (15 minutes ago):
Be careful Joonbug

Seokjin (10 minutes ago):
I'm glad you two are getting along 😉 But please don't fuck before we win the election, it's bad luck!

Chapter Text

When Namjoon and Jungkook revealed to their friends that they had started dating, they earned quite a few mixed reactions. Of course, none of them were bad.

Yoongi and Hoseok were both absolutely shocked, for different reasons. Hoseok swore his "gay-dar" had never been so wrong, and he didn't see it coming. He never suspected Namjoon being into Jungkook, especially since Namjoon was straight, as far as he knew. Namjoons only correction was that maybe it was his "bi-dar" that needed a little extra practice.

Yoongi was surprised for a different reason. He honestly thought Namjoon was going to ignore the fact that he had a massive crush on Jungkook for the rest of his life. He'd had his suspicions since meeting the younger man and seeing how Namjoon didn't seem to ever show real interest in anyone before, not in the way he seemed interested in Jungkook. He also sensed Namjoon was a little bit on edge when Jungkook was got close to others, and a tad bit too happy when things would end.

However, after realizing the two had known each other for so long and nothing ever happened between them, Yoongi figured Namjoon was probably far too confused to ever make a move on Jungkook. He hadn't factored in that Jungkook would be the one to make the first move.

He should have seen that coming though. Jungkook was confident and unapologetically comfortable in his body, it was only a matter of time before he’d be the one to call Namjoon out for his shit. Yoongi always liked Jungkook, and enjoyed his company. But he also felt Jungkook could eat Namjoon up and spit him out with how intense he could be. He'd embraced the confidence he oozed as much as anyone else, but it was different when he thought of the two together. He did think Jungkook could be good for Namjoon, he’d probably get Namjoon to stop thinking so much and being so calculated. Namjoon lived in his head, while Jungkook seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve.

After knowing Namjoon for so many years Yoongi could tell that his friend often kept his thoughts to himself to avoid conflict, while Jungkook was not one to bite his one tongue. This wasn’t to say that Jungkook was careless, he was too smart to ever be considered too reckless with life.

In the back of Yoongis mind, he'd once thought very early on that things could either turn out really great for the pair, or end terribly. In a way, he was right.

Jimin and Taehyung were both clearly aware that Jungkook had some undisclosed feelings towards his "best friend", "only a friend"...but every time they'd tried to talk to him about it they'd been dismissed. Both were beginning to lose hope that Jungkook and Namjoon would eventually confess their feelings for one another, especially when Jungkook swore Namjoon was straight. The declaration always earned an eye roll from Jimin who would sing wicked encouragement that sexuality could be fluid and Namjoon clearly had eyes for Jungkook too.

Nevertheless, their friends were happy for them. It was clear that the chemistry between Namjoon and Jungkook had been so off the charts for so long that it didn't go unnoticed.

Jungkook didn't have any reasons not to share the news with his parents. When he'd waited 2 months to tell them he was dating Namjoon, his mom had squealed and nearly choked him through the phone for waiting so long. His parents had always adored Namjoon, and it bought them joy since they also got to see him grow into the smart and charming young man that he was.

"Oh my goodness, we're gonna have little Namjoon and Jungkookies running around here one day!" His mother had nearly bursted his eardrum, she was so excited for them.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at her exclaim through the phone, heat rising in his cheeks at the thought of things getting that far. "Mom you're literally a doctor, you already know that's ridiculous!" This then caused the women to go on and on about the different routes for adoption, fostering, surrogates, and IVF.. she just wasn't stopping.

Jungkook took a small note in the back of his mind, having a family with Namjoon one day didn't sound so bad. Maybe it could be an option...in the distant future of course, it was far too soon to think that far ahead. He could even imagine Namjoon being a complete sap of a dad.

There was no doubt that Jungkook would be forced to be the parent that says "no". Namjoon always seemed to have a soft spot for his younger cousins when they were visiting town, and Jungkook had been lucky enough to meet a few of them when they were in high school.

Namjoons relationship with his parents was entirely different. Namjoon had shared with Jungkook that he had a feeling that his parents were capable of disowning him if he told them he was attracted to the same gender. He could only imagine how bad things would get if he added that he went as far as having a boyfriend.

It didn't matter that it was Jungkook, someone they'd known for most of his life and had been incredibly fond of. Namjoon honestly wasn't sure if that factor would make things better or worse at that time...Plus with his upcoming graduation and law school entrance, the idea of welcoming that kind of stress into his life was not appealing.

Namjoon decided he wanted to wait until he finished law school and was completely independent of his parents before sharing any additional information with them about his relationship with Jungkook. Jungkook didn't like that such a terrible reaction was expected from them, but he understood his reasoning. He understood that considering their familial background, he was lucky that his own parents were so accepting of him.

Keeping things private from Namjoons parents also meant they would have to keep their relationship private on social media for the most part. Namjoon knew he had too many family members there that would talk. But everything was going to be okay. Jungkook and Namjoon simply agreed that they wouldn't post any pictures together that were too affectionate.

In the rare moments that they did post a photo together, they would be with other friends, or were able to pass it off as two bros hanging out. They were best friends first after all.

They were careful not to post anything intimate, no matter how many photos of them cuddling were saved in their camera rolls.

Jungkook was okay with all of this strictly because he understood Namjoons concerns about his parents reactions. But he made it clear he wasn't going to live in the closet. He'd never really been in the closet before, he wasn't planning to start now that they were dating. He was always under the impression that the need to keep things private from Namjoons family on social media was an isolated event, it didn't have to stop them from being themselves.

When Namjoon started law school at Harvard, it meant they would be long distance. Neither of them looked forward to the separation. Their relationship had been pretty good at that point, and the thought of not seeing each other everyday was not appealing.

Jungkook was entering his 3rd year of college when Namjoon moved to Boston. With the high demanding courses that Namjoon was taking, and Jungkooks final years of college becoming quite rigorous.. the time actually went by a lot faster than they'd realized.

Namjoon would drive up to New York on many of the weekends that he didn't have exams to study for, and the two would spend as much time together as possible.

By that point of their relationship, they'd realized just how physically compatible they were as well. Jungkook shared a modest apartment with Tae and Jimin in his last years of university. Sometimes Namjoon and Jungjook would have to be forcibly removed from the bedroom, because their now well meshed friend group also really wanted to spend some time with Namjoon too.

"You know, these walls are pretty thin. We can hear everything," Taehyung had cheekily confessed this to them over a couple of drinks one night after dinner. His words caused Namjoons eyes to widen as he avoided eye contact and his cheeks began to heat up.

Namjoon had experienced quite a few self discoveries since becoming romantically involved with Jungkook. None that were worth being ashamed of, but it still felt fresh for him to have the dynamic in the bedroom that had developed with Jungkook. He'd almost wanted to ask how much they could hear.

Could they hear the way Jungkook made him a moaning mess, pretty much whenever he had the opportunity? Or how sounds he didn't know he was capable of making would pour out of him when Jungkook touched him a certain way? He wondered if they heard all of the dirty things Jungkook said to him when they were in bed, the things that made his legs weak...Intimate things that he didn't really want to share with anyone else.

He wasn't sure if he'd ever be that comfortable with anyone else knowing these things about him, not on the level that they were on.

When they had started dating and eventually went all the way for the first time, Jungkook was more than eager to take things slow with Namjoon, especially since he knew being with a man was a completely new realm for him.

Early on in their relationship, Namjoon had shamelessly admitted that he'd watched some gay porn for "research" purposes, and he was nervous about being on the receiving end of things. Lucky for him, Jungkook was open minded and didn't express it if he had a strong preference. Jungkook was boyishly excited, and also a little cocky, about being Namjoons first time with another man. He swore he'd make it so good for him that he would question what he missed out on for so long. He was right.

After some time, Namjoon got the confidence to tell Jungkook he was ready to experiment with more than just being a top. This had opened the floodgates for feelings that Namjoon had no idea were possible. He always loved the way Jungkook reacted to his touched when he was in the opposite position of him, many positions perhaps..but because things had felt so good as a top, he didn't have much imagination that it could get any better. It was already incredible enough. He didn't think the sex could exceed his imagination, but he still wanted to try. If Jungkook could do it, he wanted to try it at least once.

He’d shyly bought up the topic to Hoseok in the days before getting the courage to tell Jungkook he wanted to try to switching things up. He thought maybe Hoseok would understand his curiosity..For some reason, he never thought of Hoseok as being a preferred bottom. He always assumed the man was a top due to his physique. Not that they'd talked about it too much before.

To his surprise, Hoseok actually laughed at him when he asked him had he ever tried it before."Namjoon, did you really think I was a top all this time?"

Namjoon had looked back at him blinking, with a confused expression on his face. Of course he assumed....

Hoseok shook his head and patted his shoulder, "Joon babe, don’t let Jungkook have all the fun."

Namjoon later learned that Jungkook had always been more of a top in the past, and he was incredibly patient when Namjoon was ready to let him please him that way...again, and again, and again. Jungkook took good care of him, and Namjoon soon found himself preferring it that way most of the time. But it also felt so vulnerable.. too intimate to ever enjoy with anyone besides Jungkook who he loved and trusted with his whole being.

For Jungkook, it wasn't the position that mattered to him. He could handle both, but just liked to have a certain control over the situation sometimes. Not that he surrendered such control as a bottom, he wasn't much for being a submissive person anyways. Either way he was easy to push Namjoon to his limits. It was always nearly impossible for him to act submissive, no matter what end he was on. He hated when he hooked up with someone in the past and they assumed he'd fall into submission if he was in the mood to bottom. He was well practiced at being more dominant in bed, no matter where he was settled.

But he especially liked practicing that control with Namjoon. Namjoon was somehow even hotter when he became pliant, he was surprisingly submissive sometimes. It was addicting. Namjoon, who was usually so composed and had all the right words, would be a complete mess because of him. It was really a sight for sore eyes. The memories of their love making would forever be etched in both of their brains, unfortunately.

The only thing that put Namjoon at ease on that quiet night as he sipped his beer with Jimin and Taehyung, was that Jungkook didn't seem so bothered by his friends blunt words, "Yeah. The walls are incredibly thin, do you think I can't hear you two going at it at 3am on school nights?" His words caused Taehyung to shrug, but Jimins eyes had widened in shock and the smaller man shyly apologized, his cheeks a tint brighter.

Taehyung had smugly added with a wink, "He's not really sorry, it'll happen again. Try not to get off too much." He had no shame even as Jimin hit his arm and told him to shut up, the smaller man's cheeks burned red.

Namjoon could relate to Jimins embarrassment, even though their boyfriends were quite brazen. He appreciated that Jimin also tried to sustain a sliver of dignity, despite getting his back blown out being one of their shared favorite pastimes.

Eventually Namjoon graduated from law school, and Jungkook had graduated from school as well. Namjoon rushed to move back to New York, fortunately having his pick of law firms that were interested in him following his interviews.

Jungkook took a job at a growing PR agency. His first step in the world that he longed to work in was as an assistant for one of the directors at the company. He'd only imagined that he would prove himself to be so valuable over the next few years.

The pair had decided to moved into a two bedroom apartment in the city. The only reason they'd gotten a two bedroom apartment was to not raise suspicions from Namjoons parents. At the time, Namjoon still wasn't ready to open up that can of worms. He'd wanted to settle in his new career and enjoy the way things were, before inevitably adding his parents opinions to the equation. His parents were proud of him for all that he achieved and was pursuing, he knew that could change at any moment. He just wanted to hold on a little bit longer to how good things were.

So they got a two bedroom apartment, even though they mostly slept together in Namjoons room and would offer Jungkooks room to their friends if someone got too drunk to go home.

Thinking back on it, there were probably plenty of red flags that Jungkook had ignored during the time they'd dated. In hindsight, he'd felt a little bit naive for not realizing these things sooner. He was heartbroken when things became painfully clear to him, far too late.

Namjoon never really liked to hold hands or be too touchy in public. Jungkook figured he just wasn't a big fan of PDA, it wasn't that big of a deal. He considered that maybe Namjoon worried one of his parents friends would see them and go blabber about it to his parents. Jungkook tried not to dwell on it too much, Namjoon had made up for it by being nearly incapable of keeping his hands off of him when they were in private.

Namjoon never wanted Jungkook to come visit him at Harvard, and always made the trip to New York, even when Jungkook begged him to let him be the one to drive down to Boston. Jungkook figured at that time, maybe Namjoon really missed the big city and his friends so much that he wanted to get out of Boston as much as possible. He seemed homesick, he couldn’t blame him.

Jungkook was never introduced to any of Namjoons law school classmates. The one time he'd surprised Namjoon by showing up at his small shared apartment near the campus, he was whisked away to the beach for the weekend. He was so blinded by the exciting last minute efforts that Namjoon had made since "Boston is boring and there's nothing to do", that it never occurred to him to him that Namjoon didn't want him to meet his new friends for some reason...Or didn't want them to know about the nature of their relationship.

Jungkook had justified a lot of things to himself, never acknowledging the small voice in the back of his head that was screaming at him to stop being ignorant. He knew Namjoon loved him, and he loved Namjoon. But he was far too smart and self aware to be as naive as he allowed himself to seem at that time. He made the subconscious decision to ignore whatever inkling feelings he'd get sometimes.

Jungkook tried not to let the jealousy settle in whenever he would see Tae and Jimin post loving pictures on social media together, or see how the couple had no restraints when it came to showing small gestures of their love. He convinced himself he didn't need that. He only needed Namjoon. Namjoon made him happy and they loved each other.

It was after they'd lived together for a year when things came to the light, all in one night that made their entire relationship questionable in Jungkooks eyes.

Namjoon had received news from his boss earlier in the day that he was being promoted. The law firm only selected two of their top associates each year to promote to senior associate, so it was a pretty huge accomplishment. The promotion was determined based on performance in their first year, and Namjoon had always been an overachiever.

He was the silently competitive type. The person that didn't boast about it but would surprise people when he came out on top. Most of his peers would never even realize he was working so hard because he didn't talk about it, he never complained, and never bragged when he had a win. If it wasn't for their bosses constantly giving him praise, no one would have realized he was doing twice the work that the other new associates did in their first year.

He'd called Jungkook with the exciting news after the announcement was made, and told the him that a few of his coworkers wanted to celebrate after work so he would be home little later than usual.

Jungkook instantly had encouraged him to have fun and made some lewd comment that when he gets home he'll be ready to celebrate in another way, a promise that he knew easily made Namjoon blush over the phone.

Jungkook didn't struggle to imagine his pink cheeks and dimples with the way Namjoon nearly choked before ending the call. Namjoon wasn't easily woo'd or affected by most things, but when it came from Jungkook, it was quite easy to get him all roused up. Namjoon knew Jungkook didn’t make sexual promises that he couldn’t keep.

That night Taehyung had also called Jungkook, saying he was home alone since Jimin was away for a performance out of town, and he felt like they should go out for drinks. Jungkook easily agreed to meet Tae at one of the upscale bars in the area, figuring he could still get home in time to celebrate with Namjoon later.

Neither Namjoon or Jungkook had expected to end up in the same place that night. But about 15 minutes into their arrival at the high end bar, the loud cheers from a table on the opposite end caught the attention of  Tae and Jungkook.

The table appeared to be celebrating something as another round of drinks was placed in front of them by the waitress. Taehyung had spotted Namjoon first, at the table of the bar with 3 of his coworkers. The second he noticed him he'd gotten excited and dragged Jungkook over to the group without giving it a second thought. Namjoon was his friend too, there was no need to be shy.

Tae had approached the table loudly with Jungkook in tow as he shouted "Namjoon hyungggg!" All eyes fell on the two attractive men, and Jungkook only gave a small smiled back at the unfamiliar faces. He'd had the instant realization that he had never met Namjoons coworkers before. He didn't have a chance to share any of this information to Taehyung before they approached the table.

Namjoon looked a little confused for a moment, as if he was a bit in shock that they were there. This bar wasn't a common spot for any of his friends outside of work to come to. His coworkers, two ladies and one other guy all seemed curious about the newcomers as they joined.

One of the ladies seemed to sit straighter as her eyes scanned both men, absorbing the attractiveness radiating from them. "And who is this, Namjoon?"

"Hi, I'm Taehyung. Namjoons friend," Tae introduced himself effortlessly as he took an open seat at the table. Jungkook still stood next to him without moving, and it seemed that both girls at the table were still gawking at their looks as they greeted them back.

Jungkook spoke up next, with a small head nod, "Hi, I'm Jungkook.. I'm Namjoons b-"

"Best friend and my roommate, Jungkook" Namjoon had cut him off with a sheepish laugh, avoiding his eyes before he took a long sip from his beer.

Jungkook felt Taehyung freeze up next to him. That was weird. An unsettling pit had began to form in Jungkooks stomach then, and it was only the beginning.

Jungkook quickly recovered and mumbled, "Uh yeah, his roommate." An unpleasant taste settled in his mouth as he spoke those words and took the seat next to Tae.

The blonde woman next to Namjoon had let out an annoying squeal, "Oh my goodness! How do you all know each other? Are you Korean too?" Jungkook instantly felt disturbed by the women's fake perky tone and feigned interest.

Before anyone could answer, Namjoon had responded on both of their behalf.

"Jungkook and I have been best friends since we were kids. And Tae is a mutual friend from college." He explained shortly, and so simply, as he took another sip from the half empty beer glass in front of him.

The rest of the table was excited and welcoming to the newcomers, completely oblivious to the subtle tension that was forming.

"Ohhh shit! So you can tell us all of Namjoons secrets? I swear this guy is more private than the pentagon, I can't get anything out of him. I bet as his roommate you probably know all about Namjoons wild sex life." The guy winked,  they learned his name was Kevin.

He was looking forward to an exposé from someone who had a more personal friendship with Namjoon. Namjoon who was always so professional and didn't talk about his private life, even to his closest work friends or former classmates.

Jungkook nearly choked as he was pulled from his thoughts by the mention of Namjoons sex life, "Excuse me?"

The brunette woman, Megan, spoke up then, "Namjoon swears he's not dating anyone, but he always comes to work so tired.. we're convinced he must have so many girls over at night!" The woman laughed. So many "girls" was definitely Jungkook.

The guy added, "Not only that, I swear he was nearly covered in hickeys on his chest a few months ago, and then there was the back scratches that one time." He clicked his tongue, "This guy has got to be getting some serious action! But he won't tell us anything, even in college he wouldn't say anything!" The man rolls his eyes, clearly his curiosity had built up quite a bit over time.

Jungkook would have probably made some charming comeback at these details if he wasn't suddenly remembering that he'd happily marked Namjoon up several times in the last couple of years. Until a few months ago, when Namjoon came home from the gym and complained that someone from work saw love bites on him in the locker room and he was worried that people will care too much about his sex life at work.

He'd asked Jungkook not to do it anymore, and Jungkook had joked that he should just keep his shirt on obviously.

Still, he'd respected Namjoons request and tried to tone things down.  The memory now left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. He didn't realize his coworkers didn't know Namjoon was in a relationship. He didn't realize they had no idea he existed.

Even worse, Jungkook realized in that moment that this guy, Kevin, had also went to Harvard with Namjoon, and had no idea he existed all this time. He seemed to think Namjoon was living a "straight" bachelor's dream. They all did.

Was he so naive that he didn't realize no one in Namjoons life bedsides their mutual friends knew  the man was is in a serious relationship?

The blond girl sitting closely to Namjoon, Valarie, spoke up with an eye roll, and she was clearly not a fan of the topic. "Namjoon you should stop sleeping around, you're going to catch something from one of these tramps."

The other woman laughed, "You're saying that because you'd much rather he catch you!" This caused Kevin to snort a laughter out, while Valarie only rolled her eyes and poked her tongue out before leaning over to Namjoon and squeezing his bicep as if it belonged to her.

"My offer still stands." She winked flirtatiously, clearly this was an ongoing invitation and nothing new between the group. She was too comfortable doing it, and Jungkook quickly observed that none of the others were surprised, which meant it wasn't the first time this happened.

Namjoon laughed.. he actually let out a genuine laugh. He seemed completely unbothered by anything that was happening.

Jungkook was seething. He ended up having to sit through thirty more minutes of torturously watching that blonde bitch flirt with Namjoon, clearly unaware that his boyfriend was sitting at the table. That wasn't her fault though, he realized this and leveled with himself in his mind. It was Namjoon. Namjoon was the problem.

He kept his composure and acted like everything was normal, and definitely not going to shit in his mind. On the outside he was at ease, even as he tried to think of an exit plan while he gulped down 2 glasses of whiskey and continued to make light conversation with the others at the table to seem normal.

To make matters worse, Namjoon was flirting back with that Valarie girl the entire time, and everyone could see it. Whether he realized it or not, he was feeding into blondies seduction antics by leaning in closer to her, speaking to her softly, and never really telling her to back off or that he wasn't interested. It was like Jungkook wasn't even there, and in that moment Jungkook really wished he wasn't.

He could only take so much of watching his boyfriend act that way. His stomach was uneasy and he felt the bile starting to rise in the back of his throat.

Jungkook knew Taehyung was aware that he was near his threshold of tolerance when he felt the his friend squeeze his knee gently under the table, as if he had intended to center him for a moment. He was centered long enough to release a long breath that he didn’t realize he was holding.

Tae was quick to execute the exit plan, "It was nice seeing you Namjoon, I think we're gonna head out." His voice had an edge that Jungkook was sure the strangers at the table didn't pick up on. But he knew Tae was probably just as displeased by that evening as he was.

Namjoon smiled, again as in nothing was wrong. "Goodnight, I'll see you at home Jungkook."

Jungkook didn't know if he wanted to yell at Namjoon, or simply go crawl in a hole. Instead he bit his tongue and stood next to Tae while muttering a goodbye.

After they left, the two friends didn't speak. Both completely lost for words.

They walked the streets in silence for a few minutes, "Jungkook, are you okay?" Taehyung asked only after hearing the man sniffle next to him. They both stopped in their tracks.

"No, not really." Jungkook wiped his tears away with the end of his shirt sleeve.

Taehyung pulled him into a hug while he cried into his neck. He didn't say anything else, he didn't even ask Jungkook what he wanted to do. Jungkook knew his friend was also upset by the way things had gone, but Tae wasn't going to say anything at that time.

He was going to let Jungkook feel what he felt, he wasn't going to justify anything that had happened, but he also wasn't going to fuel the flame. As his best friend, he knew he didn't need to do any of that. He needed to let Jungkook process the situation.

What Jungkook felt could not be summed into one word. His emotions were scrambled with anger, hurt, disappointment.. and some sense of betrayal from the man he loved. It felt like the person he thought he knew didn't exist anymore. Suddenly he felt more confusion than ever and less security in his relationship.

Jungkook had never realized that Namjoon was keeping this part of himself a secret. Not like this. Sure, he knew his worries about his family, but he didn't know that people who had known Namjoon for years had no idea he was in a serious relationship. They'd had no idea he was in love with someone whose heart was completely devoted to him.

His mind easily wandered. He wondered how many women Namjoon led on or flirted with like he did that night, making them believe they had a chance. Maybe they did have a chance. It wasn't like Namjoon had no interest in women.

He wondered if Namjoon ever reaped the benefits of these advances. But that felt like such an insecure thought, he tried to push it aside. He didn't think Namjoon could cheat on him, not really. Right?

It would be easy if no one knew they were dating in the first place, that was a thought he tried to ignore.

Memories of that woman touching Namjoon as if it was so familiar flashed in his mind. They worked together, sometimes 15 hour days at that law firm. It wasn't like they didn't have every opportunity to hook up.

He felt sick at the thought. He was nauseous because Namjoon did something to make him have these thoughts.

When he did finally decide he was ready to go home, Namjoon had managed to reach before him. Jungkook knew he was there when he entered their quiet apartment and all of the lights were on. He took a shakey breath as he removed his shoes near the door.

When he entered their living room, he wasn't surprised to find Namjoon sitting there on his work laptop. He had changed from his work attire to a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a t-shirt. His hair was wet, clearly he'd had time to take a shower.

The man he loved smiled up at him as if nothing had happened when he heard him entering, "Kookie baby, where have you been?" His soft tone was a complete 180 from the impersonal tone he'd used earlier that night, dimples of deceit is what Jungkook saw.

If Jungkook hadn't spent the last two hours crying about it to Taehyung, he would have thought he made up everything in his imagination.

He stayed frozen at the entrance of the room. Namjoon seemed to notice then that something was not right. He noticed the redness of his nose, and the puffiness of his eyes. It was clear that Jungkook had been crying. He stood then and walked over, "Baby, what's wrong?" He looked worried, as if he thought a relative died or something along those lines.

Before he could reach out and pull Jungkook any closer, Jungkook took a step back and put a hand up between them. "Don't touch me."

Namjoon was completely taken aback, "Whoa there, what happened?" He honestly didn't know what could have changed since he saw Jungkook at that bar, Jungkook seemed fine earlier.

Jungkook let out a bitter laugh, "What happened? Come on, you're not that dense Namjoon." After the amount of distress he'd felt for the last few hours, now there was anger settling in.

His words and his tone were enough for the other man to take a step back. Namjoon frowned, "Jungkook, I don't know what you mean."

Jungkook pursed his lips. "You really don't know what happened Namjoon?"

Namjoon sighed, "Please just tell me, no need to play games."

Jungkook felt anger flare up in his chest. "Fine. I wont play games because clearly the game playing should be left to you."

Namjoon squinted at him with confusion in his eyes. "What the hell, why are you so angry at me?"

"You know what, I really can't tell if you're genuinely not sure what you did..or if you're just a much bigger asshole than I ever realized." Jungkook let out a huff.

Namjoon was shocked by his words. Sure they'd had small arguments before, but it never warranted calling each other names."Look whatever is going on, you don't need to call me an asshole. Thats completely inappropriate Jungkook."

Jungkook could not believe he was being scolded. "Well I think it's appropriate because you did something very shitty."

Namjoon blinked at him, "Okay what is this about?"

"It's about how I'm your roommate, and your childhood friend but heaven forbid people know I'm your boyfriend or that you've been in a relationship with me for four fucking years Namjoon." Jungkook was fuming. He'd never felt so upset about anything related to Namjoon like this before.

Namjoon clearly didn't understand why any of it mattered. "Jungkook, who cares what a few coworkers think? You're really mad at me because I didn't disclose my sex life to them? So what if they made a few assumptions, I can't control that." He spoke so calmly, as if his reasoning for everything was logical and Jungkook had no reason to be upset.

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. It almost felt as if Namjoon was justifying his actions as a technicality, like he was in the courtroom. It only made him more upset. "That is bullshit. You know it's not about disclosing your sex life. But how about the fact that you've been in a committed relationship for as long as any of them have known you!? Since before Harvard Namjoon! And you didn't even think that was important enough to mention."

Jungkook didn't mean to raise his voice at him but he was getting really frustrated with the way he seemed to need to explain himself, as if he was the one that should have been on the defense.

Namjoon sighed, "I think you need to calm down. Please, just have a seat and let's talk about this."

Jungkook didn't move. "Don't do that. Don't try to make it seem like I'm overreacting. You want to talk about it? Then talk Namjoon." His voice was hard as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for whatever brilliant explanation there was.

Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose, realizing that Jungkook was not budging.

"Jungkook... I didn't think it was worth mentioning. The details of our relationship never came up when I was at Harvard. No one there knew me personally, and then no one knew you." He sighed, "I just figured it was more of a don't ask don't tell situation.. and it's my privacy."

Jungkook didn't interrupt him.

"Eventually it just became easier to not mention it. Because I didn't want people to look at me differently. I didn't want the first thing that comes to mind when people describe me to be that I'm into men. I just wanted them to respect me for my knowledge... so I didn't mention you or anything about us."

"I didn't realize you'd react this way.. I thought you always understood why I wanted to be discreet." He stopped speaking, hoping Jungkook would say something.

Jungkook seemed to have taken in all of his words. He took a deep breath to center himself, and spoke calmly. "Namjoon, you knew the only reason I was okay with being discreet about things was because of your family. But you just completely decided to disregard our relationship with everyone else?"

Jungkook continued after Namjoon didn't come up with an answer. "I mean seriously, how would you feel if you had to watch someone fondle all over me, and me flirting back with them like I might actually give them a shot one day? Since when is that okay for us to do?"

Namjoon was disgruntled by what Jungkook insinuated. "How could I actually give a shit about someone flirting with me when I have you? It didn't mean anything at all Jungkook, I was just being friendly. It never means anything."

It happened a lot, not just with Valarie. It happened with other girls at the office, in the gym, whenever he got his morning coffee on the way to work. But none of it mattered. He couldn't control other people flirting with him, just as much as he knew Jungkook was strikingly handsome enough to turn anyone's head. The difference was that Jungkook was unapproachably attractive, so only the top 1% had the confidence to openly try to flirt with him while the others seemed to stick to admiring from afar. But Namjoon noticed it all the time, it didn’t bother him.

Namjoon only entertained these things to be nice, knowing he had no interest because at the end of the day he'd be going home to Jungkook, the man he loved and cared about so much that everyone else seemed like nothing in comparison.

Jungkook scuffed. "Oh, okay I'll keep that in mind for myself the next time the guy at the mini mart down the street tries to buy my groceries for me. Maybe I'll even let him hold my hand while he swipes his credit card." Jungkook only said this to be petty because he knew how annoyed Namjoon got whenever they ran into the handsome older bachelor in the grocery store.

Jungkook knew Namjoon started going grocery shopping with him and volunteering to pick things up for him because of that guy. A man that Jungkook truly didn't have any interest in and couldn't remember the name of had made him so jealous, yet he didn't seem to understand the significance of what he'd been doing himself.

Jungkook thought for a moment. "Does this mean only Yoongi and Hoseok know about us?" He questioned it now, never really thinking too much about it before.

Sure they only had a few mutual friends, but Jungkook also had other people in his life that he never shy'd from mentioning he was dating Namjoon to. He never knew he was expected to keep things private to that extent.

Practically everyone in Jungkooks life knew he was gay by now. He quite literally needed to tell everyone he had a boyfriend, or they'd flirt with him and try to set him up with someone. He wasn't a fan of entertaining the ideas people had.

Namjoon almost seemed unwillingly to answer his last question as he mumbled a yes. It was as if in that moment he realized how bad this looked on his part.

His words caused Jungkook to take a shakey breath, "It's nice to know I've just been your dirty little secret all of this time." He felt sick at the thought of their love being seen as such a shameful act, by Namjoon of all people.

Namjoons own throat tightened at the way Jungkooks voice broke when he spoke. He felt like he could literally see Jungkooks heart tearing apart with his last words.

"Jungkook, darling, you've never been a dirty little secret for me." He couldn't stop himself from taking a few steps closer to the younger man, this time appreciating that he didn't move away, and he allowed him to cup his face. Though his eyes refused to meet his.

Namjoon spoke softly, his eyes scanning his boyfriends face. "Jungkookie, if you want me to go to work tomorrow and tell my coworkers that I'm dating you, then I can do that. I love you so much, this whole thing is crazy."

Jungkooks heart broke at his words, doing it for him wasn't enough. "I don't want you to do anything for me Namjoon."

Namjoon frowned, "Then what do you want me to do? How do I fix this? I don't want you to be so upset with me."

When Jungkooks gaze finally met his, it was like the light had left his eyes. The sparkle that Jungkook always had when he looked at him… no matter how sad, overwhelmed, or frustrated he’d been about anything before…he’d never seen the life leave his eyes until that day.

Namjoon could see that he had already made a decision. It was even more terrifying as he pulled away and took a step away from him once again that night. His stare was suddenly hard and empty.

Jungkook cleared his throat. "I-um.. I need some space."

Namjoons heart actually stopped at those words. "What do you mean by that?" He felt the weight of panic rising in his chest.

Jungkook frowned, "I don't know. I just need to think about this. I'll sleep in my room tonight."

He didn't give Namjoon any time to protest before rushing out of the room.

He needed time.. for what, Namjoon was unsure. But part of him thought maybe it was a good thing that Jungkook only asked for space, considering they lived together it wasn't like he was going to be too far away.

But it turned out when Jungkook wanted to avoid someone, he put a lot of effort into it. For the next few weeks they barely talked, and barely saw each other.

Namjoon didn't know when Jungkook was going to be at home, or when he was out. Whenever he tried to call or text him, the younger would answer but would keep the conversations short. Namjoon didn't know how they were going to fix things if Jungkook wasn't talking to him, and that's part of what made him begin to spiral.

He really started to worry about their relationship when one day, sometime between the second and third week of Jungkook avoiding him, Jungkook just didn't come home. And then it happened every day that third week.

Namjoon knew he hadn't been there because all signs of life in their apartment besides his own seemed to have disappeared. Considering Jungkook was the life of their apartment, it meant the place felt empty.

With Jungkook not being home, Namjoon found himself not wanting to leave home. He hoped to catch a glimpse of Jungkook, and maybe they would talk about it and figure out things. He didn't realize he was spending all of his time outside of work there waiting. He distracted himself with reading some days, and on others he'd just end up lying in his bed awake and hoping that he'd hear the front door open. He would forget to eat some days. He didn’t have much of an appetite or energy to do anything besides the bare minimum of going to work and coming home.

He continued like that for almost a week, and eventually it worked. One Saturday afternoon he was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, when he heard the door to their apartment open. Like a golden retriever waiting for their master, he already knew it meant Jungkook was home. He hoped the younger man would come talk to him, but after an hour it seemed that Jungkook had only disappeared into his bedroom.

Namjoon managed to peel himself up from his bed, he decided to go talk to him face to face.

Jungkooks door was closed when he knocked on it lightly and called his name. He waited for just a few seconds before the man opened the door.

Jungkook looked a lot better than Namjoon felt. He was just as breathtaking as always when Namjoon saw him. "I heard you come in." Was all he could say to him.

Jungkook gave a tight, forced smile, as he stayed standing in his bedroom doorway. "Yeah, I didn't know you'd be home." It was Saturday afternoon, usually Namjoon went cycling on Saturdays at this time. He’d been on that routine for the 7 months.

Namjoon had honestly been so distracted that he forgot about it. But he remembered then, and realized Jungkook had no intention of seeing him that day. He'd come home at the exact time that Namjoon would have been riding his bike on a trail usually. That hurt, considering they hadn't seen each other or talked like normally in weeks.

"Jungkook, can we talk?"

Jungkook looked completely resigned, and it was then Namjoon noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "Sure, Joon." He stepped out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind himself as he led the way to the kitchen area.

It felt like the least intimate place in their home for them both. Sure they shared a lot of great times in there, but it was probably the least personable place to have the conversation they were going to have.

They sat across from each other at their small 2 person table. The room was cold, another reason for things to feel so ridged.

Namjoon reached out and was relieved when Jungkook let him hold his hand in the center of the table as he said the words he'd been waiting to say for the last couple of weeks. "Jungkook, I love you. I love you so much. And I know you're mad at me. I understand that I messed up. I never wanted to hurt you. But we can move forward, and get pass this."

He continue, "-I don't care who knows about us, we can tell everyone. We can even tell my parents. It doesn't matter who knows, especially if it's so important for you." He gave him a sad smile. "I didn't mean to make things such a mess. But I love you so much, please just stop pretending I don't exist." Namjoon choked on the last part as his eyes watered.

Jungkook avoiding him, felt like a punishment. Much worse than any of the punishments he'd received from his parents growing up. He hadn't cried at all in the last couple of weeks. But now he blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

Jungkook bit his own bottom lip as he too began to blink back tears. "Namjoon, I love you too." His voice was soft, resigned but reassuring.

His reassurance allowed Namjoon to exhale, just a little.

"I love you so much Namjoon, but I really don't think you should do these things for me." Jungkook shook his head in disagreement with all that Namjoon had offered.

Namjoon only felt more confusion. "What do you want me to do then?"

Jungkook looked physically sickened before he spoke again. He pulled his hand away and sat back to look Namjoon in the eyes, because he felt that was the least he could do.

"Namjoon, your coming out isn't supposed to be about me. It's about you.... And you don't want to do it. You'd be doing everything for me, and you'll resent me if things aren't easy." Jungkook had thought about it a lot since their argument. It didn't settle well with him that Namjoon would come out for him. He wasn't trying to force him to do it, that felt wrong.

"I just think, maybe you still need to figure out who you are in this." Jungkook added the last part, his voice quiet at the end.

His words made a pit form in Namjoons stomach. "What do you mean by that?"

Jungkook shivered because he knew he needed to be completely honest about his thoughts, and the honest truth was he never expected to be in this situation.

"I was your first everything. The first time you realized you were attracted to men and able to love one, everything was with me. I just think you may need to take some time to figure out what all of it means to you. Without me." He spoke softly.

Namjoons thoughts began to race as he shook his head and tried to comprehend his words. "No. There is no without you. What are you talking about?"

"Namjoon, I just think you may need to take some time to figure out who you are and come to terms with everything on your own."

All Namjoon could do in that moment was realize Jungkook was clearly trying to break up with him. "So you want to break up with me because you think I'm confused or something?"

Jungkook seemed to give him a pitiful smile. "I think you and I rushed into this relationship without giving you a chance to come to terms with your identity, and now you need to go figure it out."

Namjoon wasn't ready to dissect everything Jungkook was saying, but he also wasn't ready to let him go without a fight. "No, Jungkook we can figure it out together. Why can't I just tell everyone now?"

He still didn't seem to understand, and Jungkook was forced to say the thing that hurt him the most about the entire situation.

His lips trembled as he spoke, "Namjoon I love you, but this is for me too. I need to move on, without a constant reminder that the person I love the most in this world, isn't capable of loving himself enough to love me." Jungkook was unsuccessful with holding the broken sob that left his chest.

Though his words cut him like a knife, Namjoon understood them. They played over and over in his head. With all of his own obviously unresolved shame, how could he love Jungkook right, the way he deserved. His own tears silently rolled down his cheeks and he didn't bother wiping them away as he just sat there, unable to move. He was unable to think of a rebuttal for this. He’d hurt Jungkook. He’d misled him and he’d inadvertently made him feel like he had been ashamed of him.

They sat in the kind of silence that threatened to swallow them both whole. Namjoon couldn't bring himself to say anything else, and he didn't know if Jungkook had more to say.. but he didn't want to leave the room because he had an unsettling pit in the bottom of his stomach and this felt like it was one of the last moments he'd be allowed to be this close to Jungkook.

Jungkook finally broke the silence by clearing his throat and pulling Namjoon out of his trance. His wet red eyes met Namjoons, and he spoke softly. "I came here to get a few things today. I found a new apartment near my office." His office was nearly on the other side of the city.

Namjoons immediate thought was that it a smart move on his part, they'd probably never run into each other again. It also made him sad, he wasn't sure he could handle that. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He knew it was goodbye to not only their love, but their friendship. He could feel the shift. He couldn't fathom how their relationship had changed so massively in the last few weeks. How the hell could they be expected to cut each other off completely cold turkey like this.

They always made each other happy. But Jungkook was unable to ignore the betrayal he had felt since that night. He didn't know how to accept things the way they were, and he couldn't let Namjoon try to put a bandaid over it by immediately deciding to announce their relationship to the people in his life. Jungkook had come to terms with the fact that they were in completely different places when it came to their identity. He wished Namjoon was open about it with him instead of allowing things to be thrown in his face all at once.

When Namjoon didn't speak he continued, "I'll start moving my stuff in a week. And I can keep paying my part of the lease here as well, until it ends in a few months.... And then you can decide if you want to renew it alone or whatever you want to do." He had it all figured out. He wouldn't have been able to let Namjoon go if he stayed.

Namjoon was not in the right place to talk about the logistics of their break up at that moment, so he didn't say anything at all. It didn't matter if Jungkook payed or didn't pay, he knew the younger was doing it out of formality. Formal… they’d never been so formal before.

Jungkook let out a deep sigh as he stood from the table. "I'm just gonna grab a few things.. I've been staying with Tae and Jimin." Not only because he wanted to avoid Namjoon, but he really needed to be away from him in order to make the best decision for himself.

Namjoon figured as much. He never truly questioned Jungkooks whereabouts in the previous weeks, because he knew Jungkook would not be spending his nights at any place besides with Tae and Jimin.

His friends hadn't told him that he should break up with Namjoon, but they didn't tell him he needed to make up with him either. Both clearly had decided to stay out of it and only let Jungkook do what feels right. He'd been staying with them because they were a good distraction. Staying with them kept him from burying his feelings and forgiving Namjoon even though he was far too hurt to truly do so.

Namjoons voice was strained when he looked up at Jungkook then. "I'm sorry, Jungkook." Before leaving him alone in the kitchen. He returned to his bedroom, and the moment he shut the door behind him, a quiet sob left his throat.

It was never about him being ashamed of Jungkook... but he didn't know how to admit that some part of him was ashamed of himself.