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Chapter Text

Rick was trying his hardest to get away from Negan's grasp as he got him out of his car. His hands were tied up tightly, had bruises all over his almost naked body except his blue boxers and his bottom lip was bleeding from Negan slapping him.

Jadis had called Negan to come to get him after imprisoning him and of course, the older man wouldn't let this opportunity pass. Rick had felt his blood running cold when Negan had shown up with a huge smirk on his face. Now here they were, led to the Sanctuary for who knows what reason.

Felt his heart beating faster and with a quick turn, he managed to headbutt Negan who grunted in pain.

Took hold of him again though more firmly than before.

"You are a feisty one, hmm?" Negan questioned as he grabbed Rick's face roughly.

"Let me go!" Rick snapped at him which earned him a chuckle from Negan and a hard slap to his cheek.

"My sweet, stupid boy" Negan mocked "I have you at last, all tied up for me. Do you seriously believe that I'll let you go? Only dead you're gonna be leaving from here. Now stop fighting or else I'm gonna spank you in front of everyone until that firm ass of yours has turned red"

Rick sobbed out as Negan made him move again. Led him to his room and closed the door behind him while locking it.

He tried to back away from Negan but he took a hold of his tied-up hands again.

"I was so happy to find out that someone caught you at last. Such a hot piece like you has to be owned instead of planning out rebellions. Have no fear though, now you're owned by me. About time it was"

"I'll never be yours!" Rick yelled at him which made Negan punch him to the stomach. Rick folded to himself in front of Negan as he grunted.

"Gonna wash you now" Negan announced as he grabbed Rick by the chin. "Don't trust you to stay still so I'm gonna do it with you tied up from the ceiling. Then we are gonna have real fun, what do you think about that?" he asked evilly.

Rick tried to resist but Negan got him to the bathroom and made him get to the tub. There was a metal ring hanging from the ceiling, specially made for his new prisoner, and before Rick could do anything he had secured his cuffed hands to it.

"There you go," Negan said, very pleased with himself. Looked downward at Rick's blue boxers. They had to go. Felt himself getting hard at the thought of seeing Rick's dick for the first time.

Rick was breathing heavily as he was hanging from the ceiling and Negan grabbed his boxer's waistband decisively as he pulled them down.

A whine escaped his prisoner's lips but it was useless. Negan removed his boxers completely and threw them behind him without a care.

"My..." Negan said with awe "you're hotter than I had imagined"

"Go to hell" Rick answered despite his embarrassment to be all naked in front of Negan.

Negan ignored him and gave his cock some firm strokes. Rick was all wet for him despite his protests and his angry puppy eyes.

Turned the water to warm to wash his hot little prisoner. Was already excited for what would be happening after the bath when he would lead Rick to his bed.

Chapter Text

Rick squirmed as Negan kept washing him. He was not hurting him at least but he was always alert of what Rick might do.

"Will put some cream on these bruises and you'll be fine in no time..." Negan mumbled mostly to himself than to Rick.

Rick looked downward with bitterness as Negan was washing off the soap. He was very afraid of what Negan would be doing to him.

"Tell me Rick," Negan said conversationally "how often do you stroke that magnificent cock of yours?"

He grabbed it and Rick winced uncomfortably as he blushed.

"That's none of your business," he said defensively.

"Hmm you think, Ricky" Negan drawled "from now and on all the pleasure you'll be getting will be from me and only me. No touching yourself and no one else touching you. Got it?"

Rick didn't answer but felt helpless already. Negan would be doing whatever he wanted and there would be no way to stop it.

"Also, you will be calling me Sir or Master" Negan added firmly as he made Rick look at him. "Say it" he ordered.

Rick refused to talk and Negan slapped him again.

"Say it!" he growled in anger.

"Yes Sir..." Rick said eventually and his eyes dropped to the floor of the tub again.

Negan huffed from his anger and watched his prisoner finally realizing his place.

"Better" he snapped at Rick. Grabbed a bath towel and used it to dry Rick as quickly as possible.

He removed Rick's hands from the ceiling but left the handcuffs on. Was certain that Rick would try to escape again but he didn't resist much.

Negan got him out of the bathroom and looked at his bed. Rick trembled a bit beside him in fear of what was to come.

"Have you been with a guy before?" Negan questioned because it mattered how fast he would be going with Rick. Didn't want him to be all teared up.

"No Sir...I haven't" Rick said with a small voice.

"Better for me then" Negan chuckled and led Rick to his bed. "Lay here and stay quiet" he ordered.

Rick swallowed dryly as he followed Negan's instructions.

Soon enough Negan came back with the key of the handcuffs and Rick thought that he could try to escape again for a moment. Before he could even attempt it though, Negan grabbed his left wrist and secured it to a soft black restraint that was attached to the bed corners. Did the same to the other hand as well and then his legs.

He could move a bit but couldn't close his legs leaving his cock exposed for Negan.

The older man stood up and started removing his clothes as well. Rick tensed up, making him shake in fear.

Negan got on top of him and Rick shrank to himself.

"I know that all this is new to you so I'm not gonna fuck you today. Gonna touch you though everywhere I want and you're gonna accept it. Will try to make it easier for you. You can make noises as long as they are not for me to stop. Otherwise, I would have to gag you..."

Rick didn't have anything to say and kept quiet. Negan took it as acceptance and stared at the tied-up man beneath his body.

Chapter Text

"Get off me," Rick said pleadingly and Negan gave him a warning glare.

"Did I say that you're allowed to speak?" he questioned and Rick let out a pained sound. "Don't make me repeat myself or I'll shove a gag in your mouth"

Rick didn't dare to say anything else and swallowed dryly.

Negan sighed and looked at Rick's body. Despite the bruises, every inch of this guy was amazing and now he was all his.

He brought his index finger close to Rick's mouth. It was time to put it to good use.

"Open your mouth" Negan ordered "and make sure you get this finger wet"

Rick glared at him angrily but opened up and started sucking.

Negan kept his eyes on him as he used his tongue to make his fingers ready. He was super hot like that.

Forced a second finger to his mouth and Rick took it like a champ.

"Damn" Negan exclaimed "if you're so good with this, I can only imagine that mouth stuffed with my cock"

His prisoner whined but Negan knew that Rick was as turned on as he was.

"Ok that's enough" Negan said as he removed his fingers from Rick's mouth. He focused on Rick's cock that was leaking and gave him some strokes as Rick moaned.

"Look at you, all leaking for me" Negan commented with a grin. "You are enjoying it"

"I am not!" Rick spat out and he tried to fight against the restraints.

"Keep being feisty Rick," Negan said dismissively "I am gonna finger you though and you better take it like a good boy"

He circled Rick's entrance with his finger as the younger man tensed up again. Negan smirked as he saw that his hot little prisoner was very wet despite his words that he wasn't enjoying it.

Pushed it in slowly and felt Rick's muscles clenching around his finger. He could only imagine how good it will be with his cock buried deep inside of Rick. Needed prep though to be ready for his dick.

Rick was letting out sounds of pleasure as Negan added a second finger inside of him.

"That's it," Negan said to him "take my fingers"

He moved his fingers in and out of Rick fast as the younger man was breathing heavily, feeling an orgasm building inside of him.

"Ask for permission first or else there will be punishment" Negan ordered as he gave Rick a warning glare.

"Please..." Rick begged as he was at Negan's mercy.

"You are gonna have to be a lot more specific prick. Please what?" he said demandingly.

"Please...make me cum" Rick let out despite his embarrassment.

"Nope," Negan said instead "you are gonna keep yourself as long as I want"

Rick whined in displeasure as he was very close to orgasm.

Negan kept fingering him, making sure that he wouldn't cum before allowing it.

After five minutes of not letting him release himself, Negan decided that it was too much for the first time.

"Cum" he demanded and Rick did so hard.

Rick felt his cheeks burning up from what Negan had done to him and the other man brought a wet rag to clean him up.

Negan got on top of him again and touched his face so that their eyes would meet.

"Stop fighting," Negan said to Rick who pouted in response. "Now I'm gonna apply the cream to your bruises and you're gonna stay here to cool down"

With that, he stood up and went to his bathroom to get the cream leaving Rick all tied up at his bed.

Chapter Text

Negan made sure to apply the cream to all the bruises and he would be checking on his prisoner's healing process. Speaking of his prisoner, he seemed to have calmed down a bit now. Or it could be that he was tired after his orgasm.

It was turning dark outside and Negan contemplated where Rick would be sleeping for the night. Had to earn getting to sleep on his bed with him, so he guessed that the cell it was.

"Gonna lead you to a cell for the night. Tomorrow you'll start training" Negan announced and saw Rick looking at him pretty afraid.

"Can't you just let me go?" Rick questioned miserably.

"Of course not" Negan answered "my hopes and dreams just came true and I'll be ruining them? Couldn't have wished for a hotter prisoner than you"

"So what are you gonna be doing to me?" Rick demanded to know "fucking me?"

Negan grinned down at him.

"That will be your main role, yes. But there is so much more to do than simply fucking you. You will be taught obedience which is something you lack"

"Go to hell" Rick snapped at Negan who grabbed him by the throat.

"What did you just say?!" Negan growled out "apologize immediately"

"I WILL NOT!" Rick yelled back at him.

Negan flashed him a warning glare before he started removing the restraints from Rick's hands and legs.

Before Rick could get up though, he had placed him on his lap and holding him firmly in place.

"Ok then. Didn't want to punish you from the first day but since you're a little shit..." Negan said to him coldly.

He brought his hand down hard to Rick's left cheek as he spanked him. Rick grunted in pain and tried to get away but it was useless.

His right cheek followed and Negan continued spanking his bottom mercilessly. Soon enough Rick was in tears and begging him to stop.

"Say that you're sorry" Negan ordered as he repeated the spanking.

"I am sorry..." Rick cried out in pain.

Negan reached twenty hits and stopped as Rick was a mess on his lap. No one else had spanked him before and it hurt a lot.

His captor rubbed his sore bottom and Rick felt him spreading his ass cheeks with his hands. He breathed heavily as Negan played with his asshole a bit. Thankfully he didn't attempt to push his finger in as that would be very painful but couldn't help to toy it for a bit.

"Every time you speak to me in that manner, there will be punishment" he warned Rick.

He let Rick fall at the carpeted floor who winced as he felt how sore his ass was.

Walked to the bathroom and got Rick's boxers from before. As much as he would like to parade him completely naked, it would be too much even for his standards. Made Rick wear them again and cuffed his hands behind his back.

"Come on" he ordered "the cell is waiting for you"

Rick moved without much resistance and Negan walked him down to the cells.

Decided against putting him in the hole as Daryl and chose one cleaned-up cell instead. As much as this prick was getting on his nerves, he didn't want him to be in a squeezed dirty place.

"There will be a guard outside so he'll let me know if you caused any troubles" Negan warned him as he made Rick sit down.

"Ok Sir" Rick mumbled and looked at the floor of the cell instead.

"Good" Negan said eventually "you better sleep cause you're gonna need it"

With a last glare, he left Rick all alone and locked the door behind him. Checked his prisoner from the cell's door slot and saw him resting his head against the wall as his puppy blue eyes were looking pitifully.

Chapter Text

Rick got awakened by the door of the cell opening up. Was it morning already? Had lost the sense of time being locked up in that cell. Blinked his eyes and expected to see Negan. Instead, he saw another guy in his forties. Smirked down at him and not in a good way. Rick felt himself tensing up. Did Negan send this guy to torture him?

The man knelt on one knee and looked at him.

"Hey," the guy said as a greeting "I'm David"

Rick couldn't find what to say but was still afraid.

"You're Alexandria's leader right?" he continued "Saw Negan leading you to the cells earlier"

"...and what do you want from me?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"Nothing" David replied "just to see you"

He pulled out a bottle of water and showed it to Rick.

"Would you like to drink? Bet that you're thirsty..."

Rick nodded as he was indeed very thirsty.

David opened up the bottle and brought it closer to Rick's lips as he drank plenty of water.

When it got empty, David put it away again.

"There..." he said, "better now, isn't it?"

"Yes," Rick said to him.

David stayed quiet for a while as he kept looking at him.

"Negan is treating you badly, hmm?" as he took notice of Rick's bruises.

"I am his prisoner and is treating me as such" Rick replied coldly. He didn't want to be questioned about how Negan was treating him which was like his personal slave.

"Now, now," David said to Rick "don't get defensive. I know that you're a prisoner but that doesn't mean you should get treated like that. Need someone to take good care of you instead"

"I want to be left alone," Rick said to him immediately but David moved closer to him and touched his face.

Rick tried to get away but he couldn't with his hands cuffed behind his back.

"Screw Negan, Rick. You deserve more than that. Such a handsome guy like you needs someone to give him all his attention. I will be coming by, to get to know each other. He doesn't have to know a thing..."

With that David stood up and exited the cell, locking the door behind him again as if he had never been there.

Rick felt his heart beating faster after his "meeting" with David.

Was all defenseless against whoever was taking a shine on him. That was the hard truth.

Rested his back against the wall and tried to calm down. Perhaps he could manage to escape. He just wished so. Closed his eyes and managed to drift off to a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

"Can I trust you to stay put without the cuffs?" Negan questioned as he had led him to his room when morning came. Rick was very afraid of what David had said to him during the night that he wanted him as his own. Now he had to deal with Negan though.

He sighed and nodded.

"Yes, just take these off for a bit..." he mumbled as he had gotten sore.

"Alright, but if you even attempt something, I'll be putting them back on" Negan warned him as he unlocked the handcuffs. Rick rubbed his sore wrists to soothe the pain.

"Come on. Sit down, to have breakfast" Negan said to him as he pointed towards the table.

Rick sat down reluctantly and started devouring as much food as possible.

"Slow down," Negan said as he eyed Rick's super fast eating "not gonna take them from you"

Rick huffed but slowed down.

"So how did Jadis catch you?" Negan questioned conversationally.

Rick frowned at him. Didn't want to be talking about his captivity. Not with David and surely not with Negan.

"She did," he said simply "isn't that enough?"

"For me, sure it is" Negan replied with a shrug "I've always wanted you and now I can have you every day"

"Why the hell do you want to be getting so intimate with your enemy?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"I want your submission to me, Rick," Negan said as he glared at him.

"Will I be going back to the cell tonight?" Rick asked in fear as David might show up again.

"Why?" Negan asked, raising his eyebrow "want to sleep with me?"

"No..." Rick said as he looked downward with a sore expression.

"Might let you stay. If you're good today and well behaved" Negan explained.

Finished his breakfast as well and looked at Rick who had stopped eating for a while now.

"Go take a shower. Bet that you need it after spending the whole night locked up. I'll be waiting for you here"

Rick stood up and complied with the order since he didn't have any other choice. At least he could do it on his own this time.

He exchanged one last glare with Negan and closed the bathroom door behind him.

Chapter Text

"Lay to bed," Negan said to him when Rick got out of the bathroom. Hadn't bothered to put boxers back on since he knew that Negan would be undressing him sooner or later.

Rick sighed but walked to the bed and laid to it. Expected Negan to get on top of him and do whatever he wanted, but instead, the older man started applying cream to his bruises again.

"This will help up the healing" Negan explained as he made sure that he spread the cream well to Rick's bruises.

"What's the point if you're gonna be beating me up yourself?" Rick asked but didn't try to get away from Negan's touch.

"Might be giving you a spanking when misbehaving like yesterday but I won't be beating you up again. No matter how much defiant you may be"

Rick knew that spanking was hard but at least not as painful.

"Are you still sore from yesterday?" Negan asked as he saw his prisoner's reaction to getting spanked.

"A bit..." Rick mumbled as he blushed. Was feeling tired after everything he'd been through the night before and all he wanted to do was to fall asleep right there. Doubted that Negan would let him though.

Negan put the cream away and noticed Rick's tiredness as he was trying hard to stay awake.

"You may sleep" Negan announced much to Rick's relief. "Bet that you didn't sleep much with the handcuffs on and being in that cell"

Rick sighed and closed his eyes now that he was allowed to rest properly or as properly as possible while being naked at Negan's bed.

Negan glared at him for a while before standing up and making sure that Rick was tucked under the bed covers.

Looked very tired as he fell asleep in a matter of seconds. Decided to get some sleep as well and laid next to Rick, leaving a space between them.

Knew that his prisoner was afraid so he would be getting it easier on him. Didn't want him to be living in constant fear but he also had to accept how things were and that he was owned.

Closed his eyes as well as he slept next to Rick for the first time since they met that fateful night.

Rick woke up and saw that Negan was already up from bed. He had sensed it that he slept beside him and at least he hadn't bothered him in any way as he let him rest. Had also covered him which was something...unexpected. Would think he wanted to see him naked even while sleeping.

Negan noticed that he was awake and walked closer to him.

"Are you ok?" he asked as Rick gave him a small nod.

"Yes..." he mumbled as he was at least feeling a bit lighter now that he was rested. Rick looked at the bed covers and then at Negan. "Do you want them off?"

"If I did, I would have taken them off by now," Negan said to him "Keep them if it makes you feel better..."

Rick hesitated but he knew that Negan wanted him naked despite his words. He removed the covers instead and awaited Negan's move.

Instead of fucking him roughly against the mattress though, Negan got on top of him and glared at his blue eyes.

Rick swallowed dryly and looked back at him.

"You will be staying here for the night" Negan announced in a more gentle tone. "Can't promise that it will be every night but want you in my bed. You don't have to earn it somehow as I said. Don't worry also. I won't be forcing myself in you violently. Gonna take it slowly and when you'll be ready only"

Rick felt a relief inside of him that he wouldn't be fucking him roughly or that he would be protected from David at least for today.

"Ok..." Rick answered as he couldn't find anything else.

Negan hesitated for a bit but kissed Rick on the cheek as he felt his warm body beneath him. Rick stayed still as he let him do what he wanted.

"All mine..." Negan said possessively, staring at his prisoner once again.

---

"Get on your knees for me" Negan ordered and Rick did so, not wanting to get a punishment again.

Negan unzipped his jeans and pulled out his hard cock.

"Want you to suck it," Negan said to him "I know that you've never done that before but it's part of the training. You need to learn how to pleasure me as I'll be doing with you"

Rick didn't think he could do it well but knew that Negan wasn't asking. He wanted him to suck.

Opened up his mouth and Negan eased his cock inside without putting pressure. Had to let Rick get accustomed to him.

Rick started licking him and Negan let out a moan. Knew that Rick would be great at it but never thought of how much.

Went slowly but Rick didn't take it out even once which was impressive for his first time.

"Oh yes," Negan let out as he felt himself close to cumming. Looked at Rick and he saw him staring back up at him. Expected to see the disgust on his face but instead, he wasn't showing any emotions. Nor good or bad that would indicate how much he hated him at the moment.

Kept sucking and soon Negan was cumming to his mouth. Rick tried to swallow it and his captor kept his eyes on him at all times.

"You did great for the first time," Negan said to praise him. "Not even my wives did so well at the beginning"

Rick looked at the floor instead and didn't comment.

Negan zipped up his jeans again and helped Rick to his feet.

Placed him on all fours to his bed and looked at his bottom that was still sore from yesterday.

Negan got some essential oil and rubbed it on his cheeks gently where he had spanked Rick for telling him to go to hell.

Rick stayed still and could admit that what Negan was doing, did help.

Let himself relax a bit as Negan kept massaging him.

"So good for me" Negan poured out. "Such a good boy..."

Rick let out a small sound of pleasure as Negan was trying to make him feel good.

It wasn't enough to make him forget that Negan had been the one to spank him like that but at least now he was much gentler and wanted to reduce the pain he had caused him.

---

Negan laid next to Rick for the night and stared at him at the dim lighting of the room.

Was much calmer now so that was something. Had been very quiet though all day long like he was afraid to talk and bet that he was.

He sighed and moved closer to Rick.

"Do you hate me?" he asked, not aggressively but curiously.

"Does it matter?" Rick replied with a soreness.

"I would like to know. It's ok to say that you do..." Negan insisted.

Rick felt frustration inside of him.

"I want to be let go, but I know that you're not gonna do it. I am not happy of course but it is what it is..." he said to Negan.

"This is the Apocalypse, Rick" Negan answered "Jadis caught you and handed you to me. Now you're my prisoner. Someone else could have caught you instead. Should keep that in mind. You don't have to like it, but that's how it goes. What matters is that it's me that has you. I get that the transition between freedom and imprisonment is not easy and that's why I'll be taking it easy"

Rick stayed silent again but Negan was sure that he knew very well that someone else might have him to their bed right now instead of him. They could have been way more aggressive and demanding.

"You will get used to me, eventually" Negan added "and might see that I'm not such a monster as you think"

"Will always be a monster to me," Rick said bitterly "Could have been better than others as you say, and set me free instead. So you're not any better in fact. Should have fought harder and risk getting killed. That's all I know..."

Negan felt a pang of pain inside of him at these words. That he would rather have gotten killed.

"Even if you try to escape from me, killing you is off the table so don't even think about it" Negan answered decisively.

He sat up and grabbed Rick's wrists as he secured them with the black restraints.

"Sleep Rick" he ordered when he made sure that Rick was secured for the night.

With that, he switched off the light beside him. Turned his back on Rick who pulled weakly against his soft restraints.

They kept him in place though, reminding him that he was Negan's and there was no getting away. Imagined someone else having him as Negan had said and shivered involuntarily.

Not that Negan was better but somehow he couldn't imagine anyone else getting their hands on him but for the bat-wielding man beside him.

---

Woke up again to Negan removing his restraints. Rick sighed as he had been tied up the whole night again. Wasn't as uncomfortable as the cuffs but still. Wished that at least he would stop tying him up.

"Good morning," Negan said to him when he saw that he was awake.

"Morning..." Rick answered hesitantly.

"There are pancakes for breakfast" Negan announced "will be bringing you here, don't have to get up"

Rick adjusted the covers and sat up, resting his head on the pillow.

For a prisoner, he could at least admit that Negan was feeding him well. Breakfast in bed? Pancakes?

Indeed Negan brought him a plate filled up with fluffy pancakes and syrup. It looked delicious.

"Bon appetite," Negan said with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Thank you..." Rick replied because he could as well be giving him dog food sandwiches like Daryl instead of such tasty foods.

Negan sat beside him, reading a book, while Rick ate his breakfast. Couldn't help but check out the younger man now and then. Seemed to enjoy his pancakes.

Rick finished and felt his stomach full which was helpful for his whole mood in general.

Negan turned to face him and thought of what they could do. Didn't want to make Rick do something sexual right now so he had another idea.

"Would you like us to play a board game?" he suggested. "If you want to always..."

Rick's eyes widened as he had expected to hear something like to suck him off again.

"Yes, why not?" he said instead and Negan smirked at him.

"Alright then," he said and pulled out a Cluedo. It would help Rick relax and maybe do them some bonding as well.

---

"Ha!" Negan said with a chuckle "knew that miss Scarlett did the murder. Well done though for finding it before me" he commented as he smiled at Rick.

"Was thinking of losing in case you got mad at me..." Rick replied as Negan rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Come on Rick..." Negan said as he let out a sigh "wouldn't get mad at you for winning a board game...was fun though"

"It was," Rick told him as an hour and a half had passed by without even realizing it.

Negan picked up the game to put it away. Sat back down next to Rick who seemed more chill by now.

"Thank you for agreeing to play a game together, had a good time..." Negan drawled hesitantly.

"Yeah...me too" Rick agreed although he had a sadness in his eyes "shame that it can't last"

"We could do it again" he suggested. Just because he was his prisoner, didn't mean that they couldn't spend some peaceful moments together.

Rick stayed quiet and Negan moved on top of him. Touched his face gently and before he knew it, was kissing Rick's lips.

Expected the whole thing to be one-sided when he felt Rick kissing him back and he explored his mouth with his tongue.

Negan moaned as Rick's kisses were very sweet and gentle.

Touched Rick's cock, not breaking their contact, and started stroking him at a slow pace.

Rick took in a breath as Negan moved to his neck and kissed him passionately.

"May I cum Sir?" Rick asked as he was very close. Had established that he needed permission though first.

"Cum for me" Negan allowed it. Didn't want to deny anything to Rick right now.

Rick did so as Negan kept kissing him. Closed his eyes as he took in how good he felt at that moment.

Wished that this affection would be given to him for real and not as a way to manipulate him as he was sure that Negan was doing.

---

"When did you find out you're bi?" Negan asked, more curious than anything else.

Rick sighed but decided to answer.

"Guess I always knew but got married to my wife, Lori. After that was trying to survive more than to care about these things. Until I came here, I suppose. Did you know as well?"

"Found out in college. But yeah, I've had very few interactions with men and after that, I stopped because I met my...-" Negan was about to say Lucille but wasn't ready to. "Until I had my wives," he said instead.

Rick nodded hesitantly. He was the inexperienced one there and he knew that Negan wanted to be getting it on with him. Was afraid though and Negan got that by now so that's why he had agreed to wait.

"I am sorry for being so cruel to you the other day," Negan said eventually. "Didn't care about your feelings at all when I brought you here. I know that you're my prisoner but should have not been so hard on you"

"Don't apologize" Rick said although he had bitterness inside of him "just don't be too rough with me, that's all I'm asking..."

"I promise" Negan agreed. Prisoner or not, he should take it easier on Rick.

There was a knock on the door and Negan stood up to see who it was while Rick stayed in bed.

Heard someone mumbling something to Negan and talking in low voices.

Negan closed the door after a while and locked it again. Didn't look too happy.

"You will need to stay at the cell tonight as I will be busy with something else. Tomorrow you'll stay with me though, here"

Rick swallowed hard at that but nodded.

"Can I not be cuffed?" Rick asked as he bit his bottom lip.

Negan hesitated but didn't trust the pricks to be guarding Rick without being tied up. Could as well escape.

"Will tie you but with some rope alright? Not the handcuffs. Promise that I'll try to be keeping you here as much as possible from tomorrow"

Rick felt uneasy but there was nothing he could do. Just wished that nothing bad would be happening to him during the night.

Chapter Text

Negan had given him a pair of a fresh grey T-shirt and black sweatpants to wear which was something very comforting for Rick. Had gotten tired of being all naked. Wasn't at all excited about spending another night in a cell but he could see that Negan was trying. In his way. He tied up his hands but not too tightly which Rick appreciated. Negan stared at him hesitantly and sighed.

Yesterday had not felt guilty for putting Rick in a cell. Now he was feeling though. Could see that it was difficult for Rick as well who was averting from looking at him.

"Sorry for having to put you there again..." Negan mumbled as he genuinely felt bad.

Rick met his eyes and was frustrated.

"Why do you keep apologizing? Just do what you want, not like I can fight back..."

"It's not like that and you know it," Negan said bitterly. "Will come to get you in the morning. I promise"

"Ok..." Rick replied hesitantly "I'll be waiting, I guess" he added as a weak attempt of humor. It's not like he could go anywhere.

Negan didn't smile though and looked on the verge of tearing up.

Leaned in and gave Rick a soft kiss instead and had to keep himself not let out a sob. Why had he to be so messed up? Why couldn't he form a normal relationship with someone? If he didn't involve force, he was incapable of keeping people close to him. Was always searching for a million excuses to justify himself.

First, he had murdered Glenn and Abraham that were Rick's best friends. "They deserved it for killing his men".

Enslaving Alexandria? "Had to keep them in control"

Treating Rick like shit just because Jadis, who was known to be a very weird and unstable person, had caught him? "He was his prisoner and could do whatever he wanted to him"

If it wasn't for the restraints Rick would have left him already. Had been right when he said that a good person would set him free. Didn't think he could ever be a "good person" though. He was far from it. Was possessive, with anger management issues, and wanted Rick all to himself.

Came back to the present as Rick was staring at him weirdly. Negan sighed and caught Rick by the arm as he tried to not be rough with him.

Rick followed without resistance and soon Negan led him to the cells.

When the door opened, Rick saw a mattress and a bedsheet instead of an empty cell.

Gave Negan a glare who was looking sore. Bet that he was the one behind putting a mattress just for him when he could have left him to the floor.

"Goodnight Rick..." Negan said roughly as he let go of his arm gently.

"Goodnight Negan" Rick replied and for the first time, he meant it.

With a last glare, Negan left him alone, locking the door behind him.

Negan looked at one of his guys that were on a watch that day. Thankfully it was Justin who had been one of his most trusted men over the years. He wasn't known to be violent either. The kind of person he wanted to be guarding Rick.

"Your eyes on that cell alright?" he said seriously "No one is to see him and that door will get opened up by me"

"Of course Sir" Justin agreed as Negan handed him the keys.

---

Rick laid to the mattress and covered himself with the sheet. Glared at the dark ceiling as it was late once again.

Suddenly he heard talks from outside which made his blood run cold. What if it was David again?

Stood up as quietly as possible and walked to the door of the cell.

"What do you want here?" heard his guard asking someone.

"Negan said to take over now," said David as he tried to be convincing.

Rick held his breath. What the hell did that guy want from him?

"At that hour he said to take over?" his guard asked suspiciously "because he said to me to guard his prisoner all night long. Don't lose your sleep, David. I got it" he said decisively.

There was a small silence and David goodnighted the guard as he left.

Rick rested his head against the door and wanted to thank that guard for keeping his ground. Had saved him without even knowing it.

Sighed in relief and laid back down. If he had let him take over, who knows what he'd be doing to him.

Knew that he should talk to Negan but was still pretty afraid of him as well. Didn't know which of his actions were genuine and which were not. So how could he trust him with something like that?

He was feeling very overwhelmed in general. Wished that Negan would come to get him in the morning as he said.

Drifted off to sleep at that thought.

Chapter Text

Negan woke up eagerly and got dressed up in a hurry. Needed to get Rick out of that cell and was planning to spend the whole day trying to make it up for him. His lieutenants had asked for a meeting yesterday which had gotten until pretty late.

His mind was on Rick though and not on the meeting. He eventually excused himself and walked to his room that felt too empty without Rick in it. Saw that metal ring that had been used to tie Rick in the tub and removed it, throwing it in the trash. Didn't want to even see it.

Walked downstairs and saw that Justin was still there and awake, most importantly, despite the tiredness that he bet he had. Wasn't so easy being awake the whole night.

"Sir" he greeted him "good morning"

"Good morning Justin" Negan replied "How were things here?"

Justin seemed a bit hesitant.

"Rick didn't cause anything and wasn't even heard all night long but something weird happened...David showed up and wanted to take my place saying that you ordered it" Justin explained and Negan frowned as he didn't say something like that.

David didn't cause problems normally. Why would he say something like that though?

"He may want to be seen useful" Justin tried to think of a possible explanation.

"Yes...maybe" Negan said as he couldn't get it either "look, I'm thankful for staying here and doing what I said to you. Go to rest. Either way, I'll be letting Rick out now"

Justin nodded and gave the keys back to Negan as he went away to go sleep.

Negan took in a breath as he looked at the cell's door. Unlocked it and saw Rick sitting on the mattress, he was awake.

Felt his heart beating faster as Rick looked at him.

He walked closer to Rick and sat down beside him at the mattress.

"Hey," Rick said as he stared at Negan. "You came after all"

Negan faced him and their eyes met.

"You had doubts about it?" he asked Rick.

"Don't know" Rick drawled "thought that you may leave me locked up some more..."

Negan wrapped his arms around him and held Rick gently closer to him.

"Missed you, you prick" Negan admitted emotionally "...and no, don't mean getting you to suck my dick" he added, guessing Rick's thoughts who let out a small chuckle.

"You are the biggest asshole I know of..." Rick sobbed out "might be the biggest one of the whole Apocalypse, don't know..."

"I sure am" Negan agreed softly "and you happened upon me"

"Just my luck..." Rick mumbled as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

Rick started crying from all his emotions as his body rocked and Negan felt his heart breaking.

"Don't cry" Negan tried to soothe him "please, Rick...I am sorry for locking you up but they wanted a stupid meeting. Gonna take care of you today though, don't worry"

He let Rick cry on his shoulder for as long as he wanted. Had been very stressed out for three days now.

"Will you stop being such a dick to me?" Rick questioned when he calmed down a bit.

"Yes," Negan said eagerly "I will. Don't give a damn about meetings, only you matter to me from now and on. I will try to prove it to you, starting now..."

Negan pulled out a small knife and cut off the rope that was binding Rick's hands.

He threw it behind him and away from Rick who seemed surprised that he had untied him while the cell's door had been left wide open.

Touched Negan's face and closed his eyes for a moment. Felt like that was a turning point for both of them. Despite not admitting it out loud.

Chapter Text

"Dress up warmly and we'll be going out," Negan said with a smile as he kept searching for clothes that fitted Rick who was sitting at the bed, trying to relax from that emotional rollercoaster he'd been through.

Rick's eyes widened when he heard that.

"Aren't you worried about letting me out?" he asked hesitantly "might run away..."

Negan sighed as he found a pair of black jeans and a blue buttoned-up shirt. Walked closer to Rick and sat down beside him.

"Will you? Will you run away?" he questioned. The answer wouldn't change his decision but he wanted to know.

Rick stared into his hazel eyes and nodded negatively despite aching to be free. To go back to his home. Couldn't do that to Negan just yet. Not when he was trying for something better.

"I won't, you asshole" Rick answered. "Can't risk someone else holding me as their prisoner after all..."

Negan chuckled and nodded slowly.

"Exactly," he said gently "Only I get this privilege..."

Rick leaned in and kissed Negan on the lips. Kept him there for a minute before backing away.

"I better get ready..." he said as Negan was staring at him intensely.

Negan nodded and went to the bathroom to give Rick some much-needed privacy at last.

Checked himself in the mirror and his reflection seemed like it was judging him for what he had done to Rick. Averted his eyes in bitterness and crossed his arms, turning his back on the mirror.

Was considering starting crying from his frustration when Rick announced that he was ready.

"Yes..." Negan chocked out "coming out in a second"

Splashed some water on his face and dried it with a towel.

Walked out as he saw Rick dressed up normally and offering him a small smile.

"Feels good to be dressed again" Rick commented teasingly.

"Yeah..." Negan said and hardly kept himself from breaking down in tears in front of Rick.

Rick hugged him instead as he seemed to get that he wasn't fine.

Negan hugged him as well before patting his back awkwardly and letting him go.

Found a black jacket for Rick as well as it was pretty chilly outside despite the bright sun. Wore his as well and got Lucille for protection.

Walked with Rick outside of the compound and his prisoner took in a deep breath of fresh air. Had missed this a lot. Thought that he would never get to experience such small things again.

Negan led the way to his car and turned on the heat.

"You good?" he asked Rick who had sat at the passenger's side of the car. The last time when he had been there, he was almost completely naked and beaten up. Tried to shake the image out of his thoughts as Rick was healthier now and decent as he had always been as a person.

"I am" Rick confirmed and Negan turned on the engine. Needed some time away from that place.

All alone with Rick.

Chapter Text

"So where are we going?" Rick questioned as he looked at the passing greenery outside the window.

"You'll see" Negan answered gently as he had a place in mind.

"Do you take all your prisoners there?" Rick asked, joking a bit.

Negan rolled his eyes and shook his head negatively.

"No" he replied "only the VIP ones..."

Rick laughed and Negan realized how much he liked hearing Rick laugh.

"I feel honored," he said instead.

"Don't want to hear the word prisoner again" Negan announced out of sudden as he truly didn't like it.

Rick looked at him with a confused expression.

"How should I call myself then?" he asked.

"Rick Grimes" Negan answered decisively "that's who you are first and foremost, after that the word that follows is "badass". The prisoner might be the last one in line"

Rick's eyes widened but felt a warmth inside of him at that.

"You want to know what word follows after Negan?" he questioned the older man beside him.

Negan bit his lip hesitantly expecting to hear something bad.

"Erm...asshole maybe?" he asked Rick.

"Well yeah," Rick said with a small chuckle "but after that comes the word "mystery"

"Mystery?" Negan questioned in confusion.

"Yeah, you asshole...you are like a very complicated mystery. A mystery that is waiting to be unraveled..." Rick explained.

"I hope you will be the one to unravel it then," Negan said as he wanted Rick to see his other sides as well.

"Oh, I'm sure that I will" Rick answered with a smirk playing on his lips.

---

Negan parked outside a big building that was saying "National Science Museum"

Rick's eyes widened as he glared at Negan. A museum would be the last place he would have thought Negan would be taking him.

"It's completely intact" Negan explained "Had found it and secured it. Has many things to see. Thought that you'd like it..."

"I do!" Rick said excitedly as he hadn't been in a museum in ages. Had not been to that one ever before either way so it was even more exciting for him.

"Good thing is that you don't need a ticket nowadays..." Negan joked.

"Thank you for bringing me," Rick said gratefully "I appreciate it"

"Come on, let's go explore it," Negan told him with a smile as they both got out of the car and wrapped his arm over Rick's shoulders as they walked together.

Chapter Text

Negan couldn't help but smile at Rick's excitement as they looked around at the exhibition. Was telling him information about things that not even he knew about. A proof of how clever and educated Rick was. Was more than just a pretty face. So much more.

"Carl loves dinosaurs" Rick commented as he kept sharing things about them. Had read much useful and useless stuff in the past, so he thought to share them with Negan. Was afraid that he would get bored but saw him paying all his attention to what he had to say instead which made him happy.

After spending an hour having fun around the museum they sat down by a huge T-Rex's bones to rest.

"Do you miss the kids?" Negan asked but he already knew the answer.

"I do..." Rick admitted "but they are taken care of. I'm not afraid"

"Yeah..." Negan drawled as he held Rick's hand in his for comfort.

"Thank you for taking care of me now," Rick said to him in appreciation.

Negan sighed as he didn't think that he was doing nearly enough.

"That doesn't erase what I did" Negan replied.

"What if I said that I forgive you?" Rick insisted as he touched his face gently.

Negan let a tear fall from his eyes and rolled down his cheek.

"I would say you've lost your mind or that it's just Stockholm Syndrome..." he said bitterly.

"I developed Stockholm Syndrome in three days?" Rick demanded from him.

"With me in an hour you could have developed it..." Negan sobbed out.

"You didn't rape me..." Rick said when he could have done that.

"What do you think is when someone strips you naked, touches you everywhere, and makes you get physical despite begging them to stop as you did? Even worse that I completely ignored you?" Negan asked defensively, raising his voice.

Rick cried as well and felt pain inside of him.

"Stop it" Rick pleaded with him as he sobbed "...just stop it. I know that you've regretted everything. Stop blaming yourself..."

"What if I can't Rick?" Negan whispered to him in a shaky voice.

"Well, find the strength and do it" Rick answered with a sore expression as he narrowed his eyes on him.

Negan swallowed hard but nodded.

"Ok, I'll try..." he said at last.

"Hold me now before I react violently..." Rick threatened as he needed it.

Negan moved closer to Rick and held him as if his life depended on it.

Maybe this would be a start of forgiving himself as Rick had said.

Chapter Text

"We are sitting by one of the deadliest creatures on Earth..." Negan whispered to him after a while. Rick chuckled softly and nodded.

"It's only fitting for us," Rick said simply as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

Negan's eyes drifted to the T-Rex. Someone in the room was worse than him so that was a bit comforting...

"I could give you a room..." Negan suggested, "if you feel unsafe with me..."

"Don't anger me, Negan" Rick warned him "don't feel unsafe with you, or else I wouldn't be hugging you"

Negan sighed but shut up. Didn't want Rick to feel pressured to be sleeping with him. Not anymore at least.

Stroked his hair gently and Rick relaxed even more as he laid with his head resting on Negan's thigh.

Looked up at him and smiled at Negan. "You look good from this point of view," he said with a smirk.

"So it was the wrong angle all along?" Negan asked teasingly.

"Maybe..." Rick answered in a cheeky tone.

"You look good from all angles," Negan said to him as their eyes met again.

"Don't think that upside down I would look good..." Rick joked and they shared a laugh with Negan at the empty museum.

---

"This is for you," Negan said as they were about to leave and go back to the Sanctuary before getting too dark to drive.

Rick looked at Negan's gift and saw a bright purple crystal.

"It's an Amethyst Cluster" Negan explained and handed it to Rick.

"When did you manage to take this?" Rick questioned as he hadn't even noticed Negan removing it from the exhibition.

Negan rolled his eyes as he had done it when Rick wasn't paying attention to him.

"Noone will be missing it and wanted to give it to you..." he said shyly.

"I expect a pet dinosaur next time..." Rick said but gave Negan a big kiss on the cheek "thank you though. You are the sweetest when you want to" he added.

Negan blushed but smiled at Rick.

"Come on, you prick," he said gently "let's go"

Rick nodded and held the crystal carefully. Meant a lot that Negan had thought to give him a gift.

Even a stolen one.

Chapter Text

Negan laid to bed next to Rick who snuggled closer to him and wrapped his arm around him.

"So fluffy..." Rick commented as he felt Negan's warmth.

They were both dressed in pajamas that Negan had given him and were laying comfortably for once instead of being tied up.

Rick heard Negan's calm breathing and felt completely relaxed for the first time while being in the other man's presence.

"Don't you want to tie me up?" Rick questioned after a while.

Negan shook his head negatively as he looked at the black restraints, being unused just behind their heads. Didn't want to be tying Rick up, not now and probably not ever again.

"No, I don't" he replied "want you snuggling to me all night long"

"The easiest thing," Rick said with a smirk.

Negan stayed silent for a bit and thought to admit something to Rick.

"Tomorrow I'll be breaking up with my wives and letting them all go" he confessed and Rick's eyes widened.

"You would do that?" he asked hesitantly.

"I would and I will" Negan answered "only one person I loved either way and was not them. Was my wife, my Lucille. Yes, like the bat...she died of cancer just when the Apocalypse began"

"I'm...sorry," Rick said truthfully, as he didn't know all that.

Negan sniffled as he looked at Rick.

"Don't want them anymore in my life. Only you matter to me. I know that you need to be set free but can't do it just yet. Give me some time, please Rick..."

"I will" Rick promised "thank you for considering it..."

"I swear that it won't be forever...No matter how hard, I'll find it in me to give you your freedom back..."

Rick leaned in and kissed him gently. Negan responded to the kiss and felt all his worries melting away when they were like that.

"That is enough for me" Rick whispered to him.

---

"No!" Rick sobbed out as he woke up in a sweat. Had been seeing a nightmare.

Negan blinked his eyes beside him and looked at Rick with worry. Was very afraid that the trauma he had caused Rick, was beginning to show.

"Hey," he said as he sat up "Do you want some water?"

Rick shook his head negatively.

"No, I'm ok," he said out of breath.

"Like hell, you are" Negan replied as he frowned "talk to me"

Rick laid back down and sighed.

"It was nothing. Really. Just a dream"

"You are a mess, Rick, what dream?" Negan complained as he stared at him. Was very shaken.

"I am fine" Rick insisted "used to have nightmares even before getting imprisoned..."

"They got worsened though," Negan said to him as their eyes met.

"Don't know that..." Rick answered in frustration "sleep again, Negan"

Negan laid again and hugged Rick as he readjusted the bed covers.

"If anything happens again, I need you to wake me up" Negan demanded.

"Ok," Rick agreed "but I'm good now, don't worry" as he tried to calm Negan's worries about him.

Chapter Text

"Will never let you go Rick" Negan said to him with an evil smirk "gonna use you again and again until there is nothing left!"

Rick yelled in pain as Negan raped him mercilessly and he couldn't get away because he was tied up tightly...

---

Rick sobbed quietly as he turned his back on Negan who had fallen asleep once again. Knew that this was his stress and not the reality.

Negan was not like that. Had realized what he did, wouldn't be hurting him so much again.

Couldn't stop his tears though. How could he possibly say that to him? It would destroy everything if he admitted it out loud. Because it meant that his subconscious had an opinion on Negan and that opinion hadn't changed.

Kept crying when he felt Negan wrapping his arm around him. Froze for a second because he thought that he had woken up again but he hadn't.

Wiped the tears from his face quickly and tried to calm down. Couldn't let Negan see him in that awful situation. Didn't deserve that.

Nor he deserved what he went through but had to keep his pain. Nothing bad would be happening to him now that Negan was on his side. At least that's what he hoped.

Fell asleep trying to remind himself that all this was just his stressful mind playing games on him.

---

Rick woke up and saw that Negan was already up from bed and looking outside of the window. It was raining apparently.

Sat up and let out a yawn.

"Good morning," Negan said to him with a smile as he saw that he woke up. Walked towards the bed and sat down as well.

"Good morning" Rick replied as he tried to smile as well but it came out weakly.

"Was about to go get us breakfast. Would you like something specific?" Negan asked.

"No, whatever you get..." Rick answered "thank you"

"No problem Rick," Negan said as his eyes softened at him.

Rick swallowed dryly as he felt bad to not be truthful with Negan.

Chapter Text

Rick and Negan were eating together, mostly in silence. Was contemplating if he should say what made him upset last night or not. Rick bit his lip in frustration as he glared at Negan.

"I..." Rick started and Negan looked up at him. "Well..."

Negan let down his fork as he saw Rick's hesitation to talk to him.

"Yeah...?" he asked as a way to encourage Rick.

"Fine, I'll say it knowing that there is a chance you'll get mad at me..." Rick said as he bit his bottom lip. Had healed by now and there was a chance he would be making it bleed again from his anxiety.

"What is going on Rick?" Negan demanded to know as he frowned.

"Lied to you last night...about my nightmare..." Rick said hesitantly.

Negan stayed silent as he could guess where Rick was going.

"And...?" he asked instead.

"I saw you, alright? Treating me badly..." Rick admitted, "and got upset afterward..."

"How badly?" Negan asked as he crossed his arms and was already starting to not feel well. Just knew it.

"It doesn't matter..." Rick said as didn't like Negan's sore expression.

"Tell me" Negan insisted though.

"You had me tied up and was raping me..." Rick chocked out and saw the immediate pain in Negan's hazel eyes. "I know that it wasn't real...-"

"I get it Rick" Negan interrupted him "Don't need to hear anything else..."

"That's not what I think of you" Rick tried to explain himself but Negan stood up abruptly. He was on the verge of tearing up.

"I remembered that I have something to do," Negan said to Rick roughly and hurried to get out of his room. Needed to cry on his own somewhere at the compound.

Rick regretted talking to him but he had done it now. Wished that Negan would come back to him though so that they could discuss it.

He sighed as he stood up and laid to bed. Heard the sound of rain as he stared at the ceiling, hoping that Negan hadn't left.

Chapter Text

Rick had stayed in bed the whole morning. Was aching to go find Negan but he didn't know if it was allowed to leave the room. He sighed miserably. All he wanted was for Negan to come back. Started sobbing and covered himself with the bedsheets.

Heard the door opening and turned to look at it as fast as he could.

Saw Negan entering hesitantly and he was red-faced. So he wasn't the only one messed up after all...

Negan laid to his side of the bed and glared at Rick who wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I am sorry for leaving you" Negan apologized "proved how much of an asshole I am once again, right? Wasn't crying because of self-pity though but of what I did to you..."

"I know, you asshole..." Rick sobbed out as he moved closer to Negan. "Don't leave me again. Especially when not knowing first if I'm allowed to come looking for you..." he joked weakly.

"Wanted to come looking for me?' Negan asked hesitantly.

"Of course I did..." Rick replied, "when will you stop running away from me?"

"When will you stop defending me?" Negan asked in bitterness "don't deserve any of your kindness"

Rick narrowed his eyes on him.

"Won't be telling me where I'll be giving my kindness, enough is enough..." Rick said defensively "I choose where I'll give it. Not you. Now...if you've stayed, you would know that's not what I think of you" he clarified.

Negan took in a shaky breath.

"I know it already," said gently "but I feel guilt..."

"Then stop" Rick answered "cause I care about you and the same is happening to you. It's too early to get through everything but we will try. Together"

Leaned in and kissed Negan as he responded to it.

"Are we understood, you asshole?" Rick asked Negan.

Negan smiled at him before kissing him again.

"Very," he said in between their kisses.

Chapter Text

"Was thinking..." Negan drawled as his eyes met Rick's "...if you would like us to go see the kids today"

Rick's eyes widened at that. Was unexpected,to say the least.

"Would you do that for me?" he asked hesitantly.

"You mean doing something that's the complete opposite of hurtful for you, for the first time?" Negan said with a tone of sarcasm "yes, it would be my pleasure, you prick. The weather may not be perfect but it's not that bad either to prevent us from going..."

"I... " Rick replied "thank you so much, Negan," he said as he hugged him.

Negan hugged him back and sighed.

"Don't thank me" he answered "I know that you are missing them and bet that they are worried sick for you...Don't want to keep doing that to you and them"

Rick sobbed as he thought of his first day coming there. Had believed that he would never get to see them again. That he would die in Negan's hands.

"Don't cry..." Negan pleaded as he could see how emotional Rick was after all that he'd put him through. "Come on...get dressed and we are going"

Rick nodded and stood up. Walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Negan stared outside of the rainy window, wishing he could take it all back.

But he couldn't.

---

"Dad!" Carl cried out as he hurried to his father's opened arms.

Rick let tears roll down his cheeks as he held his son tightly. Michonne carried Judith to the house's porch and gave her to Rick who hugged both his kids like it was the very first time. Negan was sitting quieter than ever as he was the reason behind their sufferings. Should give them these moments of reunion.

Michonne stared at him in anger like she knew exactly what he had done.

"What happened to you Dad?" Carl asked as he couldn't understand. One day his Dad simply never came back. It's been a whole week since. Had been thinking about the worst-case scenarios.

"I am ok Carl" Rick tried to calm him down "I am here now. Back to you and Judith. Let's go inside..." he suggested.

Shot Negan a glare and he gave him the go-ahead. Knew that he was still his and could forbid whatever he wanted. Wasn't planning to though.

Michonne stayed behind though and gave Negan a murderous glare.

"What are you doing with him?" she demanded when Rick was out of ear's reach.

Negan sighed but there was no point in lying.

"Jadis caught Rick and handed him to me. Knew about me and Rick. So she gave him to be my prisoner"

Michonne's eyes widened at that with fear. Of Rick for the most part.

"And what is he doing here now then?"

"Had to see the kids" Negan answered with a sore expression.

"Well, let him free" Michonne snapped at him.

"I can't. Not yet at least" Negan said as he averted his eyes. Knew that he had to release him but he couldn't find it in him "I won't be hurting him though. Never again"

With that he walked inside as well, leaving Michonne staring at the far distance with a mixture of fear, sadness, and confusion.

Chapter Text

"Want you to stay here Dad..." Carl said bitterly as he came to realize that things with his father were different than he had originally thought. He wouldn't be staying as he had to go back with Negan. At the Sanctuary.

Should have known that he was behind his father's disappearance. Would never leave them willingly. At least Negan had the "decency" for once to not interrupt at all and let his father handle it as he thought best.

"Won't be forever Carl" he repeated Negan's words instead. Had to hope that one day, Negan would say that he was free to go. They may be on much better terms but hadn't released him yet.

"Fine..." Carl answered but made his displeasure noticeable. Didn't want his dad to be staying at that place. Plus he could see that there were things between his father and Negan that he didn't know of.

Rick was spending some time with Judith and Negan noticed that Carl had walked outside, looking at the moody weather. Hesitated a bit but walked out as well. They needed to talk.

Carl didn't turn to look at him but had a sore expression on his face.

"You did it hmm?" Carl asked "you took him from us. Took you a while but you did it..."

"It's not like that...-" Negan tried to say.

"Then how is it?!" Carl demanded to know as his only eye narrowed on him. "He is forced to be staying with you. Am I wrong on that as well?"

"You are not" Negan answered "can't let him go though as he explained to you, not yet"

"And why is that?" Carl snapped at him "you brought him here already. Why can't you let him go just as easily?"

"Because..." Negan started but he couldn't say it out loud. Because he had feelings for Rick, he wanted to yell out for the whole of Alexandria to hear. Because he didn't want him to be his prisoner but his lover. Because he was overwhelmed with his guilts. Because...

"That's what I thought," Carl said in anger. He walked back inside, banging the door upon entering.

Negan should have expected the hatred he would be getting and he wasn't mad at the kid even one bit.

It started raining again and Negan looked at the Grimes from the window. Rick was saying something to Judith and smiling at her. Giving kisses to his kids.

He averted his eyes as he would never get to have a family as well. Not like Rick did and it would take one special kind of monster to take that forcibly from him.

Only time would tell if he would be that monster or not.

Chapter Text

"Will be seeing you soon, Carl, alright?" Rick said as he tried to comfort him "you be good for our friends and family, your sister needs you. You're stronger than you think"

Carl burst into tears again though and Negan felt very bad. He averted his eyes as he couldn't stand to see the kid like that for a second time. Now it was worse than when he removed his bandage.

"Shh," Rick mumbled as he held his son tightly. "Please Carl..."

"I won't be seeing you again" Carl sobbed out as tears rolled down his one cheek.

"What words are those?" Rick demanded from him "of course you'll be seeing me again. Nothing bad is gonna happen to me. You've been to the Sanctuary, it's not that bad after all"

"Yeah, right..." Carl said with a grievance "you're just saying that to calm me down. Don't even know what you went through"

"I am ok" Rick answered as he looked his son in the eye "would be honest if I wasn't. I would. We've been through way worse as a family. Will get through this as well. Don't make it more difficult for me though..." he pleaded.

Carl nodded hesitantly despite the pain of having to say goodbye.

"Ok, dad. I trust you. Just come back to us..."

"I love you very much, the both of you" Rick answered, feeling very emotional "don't you forget that"

Rick felt a pang of pain inside of him as he looked at his family. Shouldn't have come. It was not a good decision. They may saw each other but didn't realize how hard it would be for him to stay away.

Held Judith one more time and gave her to Michonne who was looking sore as well.

"Be safe Rick" she said to him and Rick nodded because he couldn't find anything better than that.

He sighed as he and Negan walked silently to the car.

---

Negan was driving back to the compound and there was a heaviness in the car.

He stopped at the side of the road as they had to talk. Rick looked at him puzzled as to why he'd stopped.

"Wasn't such a good offer after all" Rick said eventually.

"It is hard for all of you..." Negan agreed. "Maybe it was wrong to come if it was to cause more harm than good"

"It didn't cause harm" Rick answered as he thought about it "Needed to see them, after everything. To let them know I'm alive and..." Was about to say "well" but didn't know if that was true or not.

"Look..." Negan said "I've done unforgivable things. I know that and there's no changing it. If you want to go back though, I am turning the car around right now. Promise that it's not a trick or something. Want you to be happy, you prick...it is breaking my heart to see you like that..."

Rick stared into Negan's hazel eyes and could see that he was sincere.

"You asked for time" Rick answered in a low voice "and I agreed to give it to you. Can't back out now and I know that when you'll feel ready, you are gonna mean what you just said to me. Because we both know that you don't. Not yet..."

Negan nodded hesitantly and Rick leaned in for a kiss.

Maybe, one day, he'd find the strength to do what he should do. That day wasn't that one though.

Chapter Text

"Goodnight Rick..." said Negan hesitantly as he laid to the bed beside him for the night.

Rick shifted his body to look at him.

"Hey...I...thank you for taking me to see them today. Not sure if I regret it or not but all I know is that it will do us good, in long-term..." Rick said to him softly.

"No problem, Rick" Negan answered as he held Rick's hand in his. "On the one hand I know that I have to let you go like my wives and on the other, I can't find it in me. Does that even make sense? I am very confused..."

"At least you're thinking about it," Rick said "imagine if someone else had me as their prisoner instead and not a bat-wielding guy by the name of Negan..." he added teasingly.

Negan smiled a bit at that despite all that had happened.

"No one else was ever gonna have you...I wouldn't allow it to happen..." Negan answered with a sigh "I lied that you'd be planning how to take me down if I didn't keep you in line. Know that you're not like that. Only when your loved ones are being threatened or you're afraid..."

Rick teared up at that as he stared into Negan's eyes.

"I was afraid," he said "was terrified in fact. Thought that my feelings meant nothing..."

Negan wiped the tears from Rick's face. "I know, I'm sorry Rick. I'm so damn sorry. I know that all the talking in the world is not gonna change what I did to you, that I ignored your already vulnerable emotional state and wanted to use you"

Rick took in a shaky breath and stared at Negan again.

"We always had a thing you and me. Since the day we met. Want us to restart, want to not have to be afraid..." Rick admitted.

Negan moved on top of him and touched Rick's face gently who embraced the touch.

"I'm Negan" he whispered after some moments of silence.

"Rick Grimes" Rick answered with a small smirk playing on his lips.

"The fearsome leader of Alexandria?" Negan asked with a grin.

"Yep..." Rick replied and before he knew it they were kissing. It felt like a dream to finally have some normal moments together instead of forceful things. Could feel that it was different, having feelings for each other this time around.

Rick flipped their positions so that Negan was laying on the bed and he heard a laugh.

"Always wanted to do that..." Rick said and they both shared a laugh.

"Can't complain Rick" Negan answered with a smile.

Rick took charge of their kissing and Negan felt himself surrendering to the younger man.

"Want to make love to you" Rick whispered to him and Negan nodded eagerly but also with hesitation. Didn't want Rick to be doing things he was gonna regret.

"Only if you truly want it..." Negan said to him as their eyes met.

"I do, you asshole..." Rick replied as his blue eyes softened. "Took us some time but I do want you..."

"Then I'm all yours" Negan promised as he was looking forward to being Rick's for once in his life...

Chapter Text

Rick knelt on his knees and examined the Sanctuary's soil with a skeptical expression. Negan was standing beside him, eagerly expecting Rick's opinion. It was still early in the morning and no one else was around. The perfect time to be hanging out with Rick around the compound.

"So..." Negan drawled.

"So, you can grow stuff here, you asshole" Rick announced and rolled his eyes at Negan's shocked expression. "Who said that you couldn't?"

"But we've tried and...-" Negan attempted to explain himself.

"Well, good for you that Jadis gave you an experienced prisoner..." Rick said as he stood back up and offered Negan a small smirk.

"You'd be helping us?" Negan asked in surprise.

"No" Rick replied "I'll not. Prefer to watch you suffering instead..."

Negan gave him a light poke and Rick groaned in exasperation.

"Since I'm here and you know...can't leave...I'm gonna be helping you" Rick said teasingly. "Imagine a garden of your own. Instead of taking from Alexandria..."

"Alexandria's were grown by you though..." Negan complained.

"You didn't even know that" Rick replied as he crossed his arms above his chest.

Negan pouted but Rick wrapped his arms around him.

"What do you want in return?" Negan asked.

"In return for what?" Rick drawled in confusion.

"For helping with the garden" Negan explained.

"Nothing," Rick said immediately "just for you to keep being nice and not finding myself in a cell, one fine morning..."

Negan growled lowly at that and their eyes met with Rick.

"Never," he said decisively. "I will be making you my spaghetti recipe as a "thank you", alright? It's about time you taste it as well"

Rick smiled at that thought and nodded. He wrapped his arms back around Negan for warmth and protection.

"Did you enjoy last night?" Negan asked after some moments of silence.

Rick nodded as he kept their hug. Negan had been very careful with him and went slowly. He was thankful that had happened now and not when Negan was still mistreating him. Could only imagine the trauma if he had that added to the long list of his sufferings.

Last night had felt good though and was looking forward to a repeat if they were both up to it.

"Since it is still early, would you be interested in some cuddling?" Rick asked with a smirk on his face.

"What are we still doing here Grimes?" Negan answered teasingly and they walked with Rick towards the compound, holding him close, enjoying the Sanctuary's early morning peacefulness.

---

David pulled down the hood of his black leather jacket. Reached his back pocket, pulling out a sharp knife. Looked at the dirty wall behind the Sanctuary and there was a picture pinned there. Rick Grimes beaten up with his hands tied up tightly at the front. Was only in his blue boxers and the rest of him was exposed for everyone to see.

Threw the knife to the wall, making it land in the middle of the picture.

Walked towards the knife and pulled it out violently, keeping it close to Rick's face though.

"Your time is near Rick Grimes," he said to the picture. "It is very near indeed..."

Chapter Text

Rick and Negan got to the cafeteria for breakfast instead of staying in the bedroom. Rick was in a good mood still but it didn't last long as he noticed a weird atmosphere in the room as almost everyone was looking at him and mumbling things in low voices.

Negan noticed it as well and his eyes narrowed immediately. He wouldn't tolerate anyone to be commenting on Rick. Was about to snap at them to avert their eyes and keep eating when he noticed pictures at almost every table.

He walked to the closest one decisively and picked up one picture.

His eyes widened as he saw a beaten-up Rick from when Jadis had handed him over. Now everyone had seen them. Rick moved closer and he paled when he saw what Negan was holding.

Felt his face getting red as he blushed and anger taking over. These were the pictures that Jadis had taken against his will.

Let out a sob and ran away from the cafeteria as fast as he could.

"What are you looking at huh?!" Negan spat out furiously as everyone was staring at him and Rick who had now left. "I expect these pictures collected and handed back to me when I come back" he ordered coldly.

He hurried after Rick and found him in a corridor.

"Rick..." he started with worry.

"Where the hell did these pictures come from?" Rick demanded from him.

"Jadis had given them to me but don't know how they were seen by everyone at the compound..." Negan said in frustration.

"So you were keeping these pictures, that's what you are telling me," Rick asked as he was in shock.

"They were at my office. Someone must have trespassed it. I had almost forgotten their existence..." Negan replied but could see Rick's eyes becoming cold and aggressive.

"You had no right to be keeping these pictures! Don't care who made them public. What YOU did matters. They were taken against my consent when I was beaten up and almost naked..." Rick said in anger.

"She gave them to me" Negan tried to explain.

"To be getting off with them I suppose..." Rick answered as he felt overwhelmed that so many people had seen them.

"No," Negan said in denial "I would never be getting off with these pictures. They are horrible"

"Yet you kept them!" Rick snapped at him and flinched back from Negan's attempt to touch him. "Thought that you changed. But guess I was wrong. I hate you"

With that, he turned his back on Negan and walked away, probably to his room.

Negan sighed as he glared at the picture. Who the hell had taken these and why?

They had wanted to ridicule Rick by showing his sufferings to everyone.

He crumpled the picture in his fist as he turned in the opposite direction to go collect the pictures and burning them, as he should have done from the start.

Now it was too late. The damage was done.

Chapter Text

Negan banged Lucille against the metal in anger as he stared at the Saviors.

"If you think that I'll let this pass without consequences think again," he said coldly "trespassing to my office and getting these pictures is a big no-no. But don't worry, I'm gonna be finding the person or persons responsible and will be punished accordingly"

With that, he turned his back on them and walked away. Had already burnt every single one of these pictures but Rick had been exposed beyond repair.

Knew that he had every right to be angry. He would be as well if someone had these kinds of pictures, showing him at his weakest. Why had he even kept them? Sighed to himself as he knew damn well that his behavior was unforgivable.

Walked to his room and found Rick staring out of the window. His expression was similar to when he had stripped him naked for the first time.

"Can I talk to you...?" Negan asked hesitantly.

"Is there anything left to say?" Rick asked with a cold tone.

"Of course there is" Negan replied "I don't know why I took them or even why I kept them. Should have hurt her for daring to do that to you. I didn't though. You have every right to be blaming me. But you need to believe that I didn't give these for everyone to see"

Rick stood up and got inches away from him as their eyes met. There was a coldness radiating and Negan didn't like it at all.

"That's your main but not only issue. You don't think. Of the pain, you'll be causing. You do whatever you want and you keep ruining my life"

"It's not ruined Rick," Negan said in frustration "who cares what they'll think"

"You are invalidating my feelings once again..." Rick answered and looked very disappointed in Negan as well as bitter.

"I am not" Negan replied decisively "since when do you care what any of my people think though?" he repeated as Rick was way more than what these pictures portray.

Rick turned his back on him and stared out of the window instead. They just couldn't communicate.

"Leave me alone," he said to Negan without even looking at him.

Negan felt his heart breaking at these words. Wanted them to talk and solve this out.

He sat down on his bed and kept his eyes on Rick. Whoever had done that, they were so gonna pay. Was wrong in keeping the pictures in the first place but he couldn't believe their audacity to be looking at his office and giving them around for everyone to see.

Had a while to use Lucille on someone but he was gonna enjoy bashing that person's head in.

Chapter Text

Negan returned to his room and saw Rick curled on the bed, still refusing to talk to him. Had made his spaghetti recipe and had brought two dishes for them to be eating together.

He left them at the table and walked by Rick's side of the bed.

"Made you spaghetti," he said to him as he bit his bottom lip "would you please come to sit with me to eat?"

Rick wasn't feeling like eating anything but he could see that Negan was trying. That didn't make him less mad at him though.

"Fine..." agreed reluctantly "I'll be eating your spaghetti"

Negan smirked a bit as Rick finally got out of bed so that they could sit down and eat.

"Thank you" Negan answered and followed behind him.

Rick tasted the spaghetti and could admit that they were very tasty. He liked the balance between them and the red sauce on top. Too bad that he was not "Negan friendly" at the moment though.

Negan kept glaring at him and could see that he did enjoy the spaghetti despite not saying it.

"Are you mad at me?" Negan asked after a while. He wanted Rick's approval and felt bad having this coldness between them.

Rick sighed as he didn't want to talk about what had happened. Would rather avoid Negan altogether.

"What do you think?" he demanded to know "of course I'm mad at you"

"Will you still be mad tomorrow...?" Negan asked in sadness.

Rick stared at him with a frown.

"I'm undecided..." he answered and crossed his arms above his chest.

Negan let a tear roll down his cheek and Rick felt a pang of pain despite wanting to keep being cold towards Negan.

"Could you forgive me? Because I know that I've disappointed you but I didn't mean to..." Negan sobbed out.

Rick stood up and got closer to Negan.

They looked each other in the eyes and Rick couldn't keep it anymore.

He cried as well and Negan hugged him tightly.

"Please, Rick..." Negan said emotionally.

"Don't do that to me again" Rick said with a grievance.

"I will not, you prick, I promise you..." Negan replied honestly "will be finding the person who took them. I burnt them though already so they will never get to the wrong hands again and any hands in general"

Held Rick in his arms and let himself have this moment with the younger man.

Chapter Text

"I enjoyed the spaghetti, you weren't lying about that, as well..." Rick drawled as they had laid to Negan's bed and Negan had wrapped his arm around him.

Negan gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and held him closer.

"Jadis and her damned camera" Negan growled lowly "should break it and hand it back to her in pieces"

"Said she wanted to lay with me but guess you came over and her plans changed," Rick said with a pout.

Negan sighed. Everyone wanted a piece of Rick Grimes as it seemed.

"Forget about her, Rick. I am done paying her any mind. As for my people, some of them can be assholes like me but don't worry. The majority are not. I am sure that no one in their right mind felt anything else but anger at these pictures. They will not be commenting on it, I promise"

Rick nodded hesitantly but he couldn't just get over it either. Not so soon at least. Wished that no one would try to humiliate him again.

"Want you to kiss me," Rick said out of sudden and Negan seemed surprised.

"Aren't you mad at me?" he asked as he couldn't understand.

"I am but you've changed, you asshole," Rick told him as their eyes met "don't want you to be hurting me again..."

"I will not" Negan promised sincerely "want to be spending the time I asked for, with you. Without having this bitterness between us"

"I am not bitter" Rick answered with a sigh "you burnt the pictures, cooked for me...what else to do, to know that you do care?"

"Don't think that nothing is going to be enough to forgive me..." Negan said but Rick wrapped his arms around the back of his neck.

"I do" he answered "now kiss me already" Rick added and Negan let out a soft chuckle. Rick could be as demanding when he wanted something.

They kissed and Rick let out a noise of pleasure as he pressed his lips against Negan's.

"All mine" Negan whispered to him and felt himself melting to Rick's kisses.

Rick undressed them both and Negan stared at him for a moment as he laid there. Thankfully the bruises were going much better and seemed that would heal completely soon.

"What are you looking at?" Rick asked softly.

"Nothing" Negan answered with a sigh "just wanted to see if the bruises are healing and they do"

"Yeah..." Rick mumbled, "had some rough treatment but I'm fine now..."

Negan averted his eyes in sadness though but Rick touched his face.

"I am" he promised "You've been very gentle with me. All this time. Cared if I was enjoying it and was not in pain. So...don't worry"

"I prefer this Rick" Negan answered with a frown "not some sick pictures of you beaten up and suffering. That's not what I want for you..."

"Hey, I know" Rick replied and leaned in to kiss him "I know"

Chapter Text

"Could I start with the garden today...?" Rick asked hopefully as they were having breakfast with Negan. Didn't know if he would be letting him roam around after what had happened with the pictures. Was bored of being in a room though.

Negan's eyes softened on him and nodded.

"If that will make you happy, of course. Will give you everything you need and can spend as much time you'd like. Although don't want you to be tiring yourself"

"So you won't be with the whip?" Rick asked and laughed when he saw Negan's sudden sullen expression "I'm just joking...or am I?"

"You better be, you prick" Negan answered as he rolled his eyes "but yeah, evil people like me tend to be with the whip so that their prisoners work harder..."

"Have Lucille though" Rick said teasingly as he glared at the bat being left leaning against the wall.

"I am keeping Lucille for "special" occasions..." Negan replied, thinking of whoever had taken these photos from him. Took Rick's hand in his and leaned in for a kiss. "You do whatever you feel like, alright? I won't be telling you to do that or this. Am already thankful that you're still here despite everything"

"Don't you miss ordering me though?" Rick asked as he gave Negan a light poke with his elbow.

Negan smirked at that. Rick knew him too well.

"I do miss giving you some orders" he replied and they both chuckled. "Now eat the rest of your breakfast" Negan added demandingly but offered Rick a smile.

"On it, Sir" Rick smirked back at him and continued eating. Felt comfortable being like that with Negan as they kept talking.

---

"Want me to stay with you?" Negan questioned as they were outside of the Sanctuary. Had brought for Rick, seeds, and whatever else he could need but was hesitant to leave him all alone. Felt the need to protect him even though there seemed to be no danger at the moment.

"No, I'm ok," Rick said as he was excited to get to plant again "You are the leader of the Sanctuary, last time I checked. Don't you have things to do?"

"I do, but prefer you instead..." Negan whined which made Rick chuckle.

"We will be together again in a couple of hours. Can't do without you either way..." Rick answered with a smile.

Negan wrapped his arms around Rick's waist and pulled him in for a hug.

"You matter to me, despite not being capable to always show it to you," he said sincerely.

Rick felt his heart beating faster but it was with happiness.

"You're an asshole, but you belong to me, as I belong to you" Rick whispered back at him and gave him one last kiss.

He touched Negan's face gently and Negan embraced the comfort.

"Go now and we'll meet again later..." Rick said to him gently and Negan nodded as their eyes met one more time.

Chapter Text

Rick felt good to be useful again as he kept working on the Sanctuary's garden. Was pretty sure that Negan would show up in about an hour to see if he was still there but he didn't much to his surprise. Didn't know where their whole thing would end up but was glad that they were on good terms now.

He sighed as he stood up and looked at his work. Would take time but if it was to have their vegetables in the end. Could suggest teaching some Saviors on how to be taking care of it. Looked down at himself and had gotten sweaty by now, working under the sun but it was worth it. Was about to go shower when he heard someone clapping behind him.

Turned around and saw none other than David. His mind was screaming to run but he stood frozen at seeing him again.

"Well done, Rick," David said sarcastically "you got promoted, I see. Worked "hard" to get out of that cell, if you know what I mean"

"Leave me alone," Rick said defensively and also in fear. There was no one around to help him.

David walked even closer to him though.

"You should be owned, Rick. Negan is too soft obviously. He managed to control you for two whole days before all hell broke loose. Need someone to show you how to be a proper submissive"

Rick felt his cheeks burning up. The nerve of that guy.

"If you don't leave me alone, I'll tell Negan...-" he threatened.

"Negan, hmm? Let's see. The guy who was keeping pictures of you beaten up in his office" David asked with an evil smirk.

Rick's eyes widened. Of course, he was the one who took them.

"I should just open my mouth and you'll be dead in no time" Rick answered as he turned his hands to fists.

"Do it and I have the power to overthrow Negan" David said with a cold tone "Think I'd be doing all that if I didn't know that I will be protected?"

"You are a liar" Rick replied in anger.

"Listen what we are gonna do. You will let me use you in every way I want and in return, you'll continue being with Negan like a little lovebird. I've seen both of you. Negan won't know a thing and I promise that I won't be damaging you much so we can keep this a dirty little secret"

Rick felt his eyes stinging. Was it possible that he could hurt Negan?

"Fuck you" he spat out instead which made David chuckle.

"Oh, but I'll be doing that very soon Rick. You may get lucky up to this point but there won't always be a strong man to save you. I want you and you're gonna be mine either you like it or not. I Will be sending you a note when I want you to sneak out of Negan and you're gonna do it. If you don't, you'll be finding out the hard way what I'm capable of..."

With a last glare, David turned around and left, leaving Rick in a state of fear.

Chapter Text

Rick walked back to Negan's room, feeling very anxious. What would he do? If David had stolen these pictures, it meant that he didn't care about the possible consequences. Could he harm Negan?

He rested his head against the wall just outside of Negan's bedroom and bit his bottom lip in frustration. How would he be getting out of this?

Heard someone whistling and saw Negan coming his way from the opposite end of the corridor. Rick tried to recompose himself as Negan looked surprised to see him in the corridor.

"Hey" Negan greeted him "is it locked? Don't remember locking"

"What?" Rick asked, feeling his body disconnected from his mind.

"The room? Is it locked...?" Negan replied as he tried the door and it opened with ease.

Rick looked at the door and then the floor with bitterness.

"Rick?" Negan said to him gently.

He sighed and stared at Negan.

"Didn't even try it" Rick answered, "got tired, I guess, and I dazed out..."

Negan pouted at that. "Didn't I tell you to not overdo it? Come inside to rest"

He motioned for him to get in and Rick complied. Negan closed the door behind him and saw that Rick had a very weird expression on his face.

"Are you ok, Rick?" he asked "you know that you can tell me"

Rick swallowed dryly and nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry. I am a bit dizzy..."

"Shouldn't have left you alone" Negan said with regrets "what's more important than getting a garden after all?"

"Attacking other communities?" Rick asked as an attempt at a joke.

Negan chuckled and hugged him.

"Nah, nowhere is like yours..." he answered teasingly.

"Lucky us," Rick said but hugged Negan as well. "You should be locking the room" he added out of sudden.

"Why?" Negan asked in surprise as he took a step back to look at him.

"Erm for protection..." Rick said to him and Negan nodded as he thought about it.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll be locking. Just didn't want you to be feeling uncomfortable"

"I am not" Rick reassured him as they kissed.

Outside this room, he was in danger, not on the inside.

Chapter Text

"Sir! Sir!"

Negan heard someone knocking on the door urgently and woke up abruptly. Rick stirred awake beside him and they looked at each other. Who could it be at this hour? It was pretty late at night. He stood up quickly and unlocked the door in a hurry.

"What happened?" Negan demanded from one of his men who was looking out of breath.

"Sir...Amber started foaming. She is in critical condition. Mark took a syringe with an antidote from the medical supplies and by luck, he saved her. Got poisoned Sir and Mark didn't do it, seeing how he did everything in his powers to save her despite his own...erm problem..."

Negan's eyes widened in rage. Just because they had their issues with his wives didn't mean that he didn't care about them. Had let them go either way so they could live the way they wanted at last. Not to get poisoned and killed.

"I am getting dressed up and coming to see her," he said and closed the door in shock. He couldn't believe that someone had attempted to poison one of his wives. Maybe ex-wives but still.

Rick had heard what happened and his mind was thinking of one person. David. Felt rage that he would do that to an innocent girl, just to pressure him into giving in to his sick wants.

"Look, Rick" Negan snapped him out of his thoughts "have to go see her, alright? You should sleep again. I'll be back later"

Rick's eyes were stinging and he was on the verge of tears that Amber had almost died because of him.

"Hey don't worry," Negan mumbled "she is a tough nut. Survived being married to me, won't be quitting now"

"Go see her" Rick chocked out. Had to go face David himself either way.

Negan nodded and gave him a small sad smile before he closed the door behind him.

Rick stood up and heard Negan's steps as he walked away. Wouldn't let David be hurting another innocent person. Picked up his clothes and got dressed quickly. Didn't know if he would get killed in this confrontation but one way or another this psycho wouldn't keep messing with their lives.

That's all he knew.

Chapter Text

Rick walked cautiously out of Negan's room. The compound was dark and silent so late at night. Felt his heart beating faster. Had to find David and end this once and for all. Before he could harm anyone else.

Turned to a corner and took in the silence. Was about to keep walking when he heard a chuckle behind him.

"Knew you'd come looking for me," David said as he turned around to face him "clever hmm? Slipped some poison to her drink and about an hour later...well you know. Although her lover saved her. Ahh the infamous "true love"..."

"You are sick" Rick answered in a cold tone "can't even describe how much"

"More than your lover, Negan? I didn't keep you locked up in a cell, he did" David spat out.

"Negan is nothing like you. Everyone has the choice of regretting what they did and asking for forgiveness. You are something else entirely though" Rick said as he felt his blood boiling up.

"You talk way too much, Rick, know that? I will keep you gagged though, don't worry. Didn't want to have to do this so violently but you caused this..."

Rick was ready to attack him when he felt someone pressing a towel against his mouth with something that smelled like...-

He struggled but his body started losing consciousness as he collapsed to the floor.

"Nighty night, Rick..." heard David saying before his eyes closed against his will.

---
Rick woke up and he was tied up with handcuffs to a bedpost.

"Oh great" he heard David saying cheerfully "you are awake. Would hate if it got morning for you to wake up again, didn't drug you too much"

"Let me go," Rick said aggressively.

"Such anger..." David pouted "Now shut up. We don't want anyone to hear you..."

Rick looked around and he was in a messy room that bet it was David's.

"Help! Help!" Rick started screaming which earned him a slap from David.

"Didn't I say to shut your mouth?" David demanded to know. "You are not leaving from here. Gonna do what I said I'll be doing and I'm not Negan. Don't care about feelings and other sentimental crap. Got it?"

David picked up a picture and it was himself tied and beaten up.

"Kept one for myself you see. Although the others were delicious as well" David chuckled evilly.

David leaned in slightly and Rick found the opportunity to give him a satisfying kick with his leg. He grunted in pain and his eyes narrowed on him. Grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting off his shirt.

"No!" Rick cried out but David ignored him and kept cutting. Soon his shirt was destroyed and David threw it to the floor.

"HELP!" Rick yelled as loudly as he could.

Heard noises outside the door and after a while, Dwight's voice.

"What is going on in there?!" Dwight demanded to know "David open right now"

Tried the door but it was locked up.

"David I won't repeat myself" Dwight ordered as he had heard Rick's voice begging for help.

David gave Rick a murdering glare and took a sharp knife instead as he held it against Rick's throat.

"He is mine!" he yelled at Dwight "All mine. Go away or I'll kill him"

Rick sobbed as Dwight tried harder to open the door.

"Get Negan," Dwight said to one other guy who had appeared. Everyone was getting outside of their rooms as they had heard the noises.

"Couldn't just shut up hmm?" David asked as tears were running down Rick's cheeks.

He pressed his lips roughly on Rick's who moved aggressively as he tried to get rid of him.

Negan saw Dwight and some of his men as they were standing outside David's room with sore expressions.

"He is keeping Rick hostage," Dwight said to him as fast as he could "Heard him yelling for help...-" Negan was outraged and banged his hand against the locked up door.

"David!" he shouted, "release him now or else I'll barge in and you don't want to get my hands on you!"

"If you barge in, you'll find him dead" David threatened as he kept touching a sobbing Rick.

Negan heard Rick's cries and felt his heart breaking into tiny pieces.

Hot tears filled up his eyes and looked at Dwight who was equally disturbed by what was happening.

"Want your Rick back, Negan? Well, guess what. He is mine now" David continued. Stood up as Rick gasped when the knife was away from his throat.

Took the picture and slipped it under the door. Negan saw it and felt like he would be exploding from his anger. David was behind it all and now Rick was trapped with this monster.

"He is great isn't he?" David asked as he was enjoying himself "will be making him mine tonight"

Negan tossed the picture to the floor in disgust and turned his back on the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Dwight who didn't know how they could be getting Rick out of there.

"To get Lucille" Negan answered in an icy tone.

Would be murdering David tonight and he was not gonna be showing him any mercy.

Chapter Text

"David last chance before I destroy this door," Negan said as he was aching for Rick's well-being who was heard being in a rough situation. Had to get him out of there as soon as possible.

"You will not be getting him back alive if you attempt to come in" David answered decisively.

"Negan do it!" Rick intervened before David pressing the knife back against his throat.

"Caused enough already, Rick. Don't make your situation worse..." David threatened him.

"I've had enough" Negan said to Dwight. "We need to save him now"

"How?" Dwight asked in frustration "he is threatening to kill him"

"He is bluffing" Negan replied despite the fear inside of him. Didn't want Rick to get hurt but he needed him out of there. Shouldn't stay with David any longer or who knows what would be happening.

"It makes me want to tear up...Negan's eagerness to save you" David drawled "bet he wants to use you himself and is mad that I got you instead"

"Don't talk about him!" Rick spat out in anger.

"Stroke a nerve huh?" David asked. "Don't get your loyalty to him but that doesn't change that you're one of the hottest persons this compound has seen in a very long time. Thankfully this is the Apocalypse so there is nothing wrong with keeping you locked up and won't be getting the consequences of before as well..."

Rick had tears in his eyes once again. Needed to survive this, he couldn't give up now.

Negan felt his worry picking up. Not even one of those who had gathered up found any of this funny. On the contrary, they were disturbed by it.

"What the hell do you want to let him go?" Negan yelled at David in an attempt to negotiate without putting Rick's life in danger.

"Nothing" David replied in an apathetic tone "there's nothing else I want but for what I got right now but I do like you begging"

"You are surrounded and can't escape!" Dwight said to him as he couldn't contain his anger either. They may have many issues with Negan but he could see it on his face how hard it was for him. Couldn't let this monster keep torturing Rick.

"Don't care Dwight. Run along to your wife or maybe Negan's wife, Sherry" David answered to piss off Dwight who turned red when he heard his wife's name. The audacity of that guy. Was about to die and yet he was trying to make them all outraged by insulting the people they loved.

Rick swallowed uncomfortably as his eyes were stinging from the blade's pressure. Knew that Negan couldn't save him on his own. Had to do something to get David away from him.

"I will do what you want" Rick announced much to David's surprise.

"What do you mean?" David asked as he kept the knife against his throat.

"I will let you use me and won't struggle," Rick said to him and saw David smirking.

"Good to hear it Rick" David answered "you've been a massive pain so far"

Stood up to get undressed now that Rick would be complying with him.

Negan looked at Dwight and motioned to his men to get their guns ready. If Rick was saying that he would let this monster use him and that he wouldn't struggle, meant that he had something in mind. Needed David to relax enough so that they could enter the room safely.

"Hold on Rick," he thought to himself desperately.

Chapter Text

"Time to get these pants off of you, Rick," David said as Rick was trying to not show how afraid he was.

Saw him approaching and knew that it was time to act. Stayed still and when David was about to touch him again, he kicked him hard with his leg.

The force made David step backward as he grunted in pain.

"That's your compliance huh?!" David asked aggressively as he took hold of the knife again.

Dwight shot at the door's lock with his gun and kicked it open with force.

David tried to threaten Rick again but Negan had grabbed a gun from one of his men already.

Aimed for his shoulder and heard David sobbing in pain as the bullet hit him.

Fell to the floor and Negan approached him with a murderous expression as he looked down at him.

"You are over" he snapped at him "if you think that this is painful, wait to see what is gonna happen to you next!"

He searched David's pockets without care if he was hurting and found the key to the handcuffs. Rick was tied up to the bedpost half-naked and had tears in his eyes as he looked at him in agony.

Negan hurried by his side and unlocked them. Rick wrapped his arms around him as his whole body rocked from his crying.

"I'm here, I'm here..." Negan tried to comfort him as he hugged Rick tightly and sobbed as well.

Helped Rick stand up and led him out of the room as his men were making sure that David would be staying down.

When he got certain that Rick was far away from that room, he hugged him again.

"Thought that I'd lose you forever," he said as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Me too" Rick replied as he took in a shaky breath. "Believed that I wouldn't be getting out of there alive..."

"Come on" Negan urged him "you need to lay down to bed immediately. Will be taking care of you, had a very rough night already..."

Rick hesitated and Negan saw him bursting into tears again, feeling a pang of pain inside of him.

"I am sorry for not saying to you what he was doing" Rick apologized and Negan frowned.

"Instead of this monster, you're the one apologizing?" he asked as he touched Rick's face gently "I was the one who let you all defenseless against him. Gonna make him regret the time he even thought of touching you" Negan said in outrage.

Rick was feeling very bad about himself and everything that had happened but nodded slightly.

Negan wrapped his arm around him and led him slowly to his room. Was very worried for Rick and he needed rest. As for himself, he had to deal with David who wouldn't have even dared to approach Rick and Amber if he knew what was coming for him.

Chapter Text

Negan walked to a dark room while swinging Lucille where David was tied up tightly to a chair with a bag covering his head. That piece of shit was gonna be getting what he truly deserved. Heard him breathing heavily from his bullet wound but didn't give a damn of his sufferings. He wouldn't have hesitated to rape Rick either or kill Amber.

Removed the bag from his head so they could have some last words before his execution.

David chuckled when he saw Negan which only made him angrier.

"Shut up" Negan ordered aggressively but David ignored him and kept laughing.

"How did it feel Negan? Knowing that he was all mine?" he asked instead.

"I know how I'll feel when I will be murdering you" Negan growled out.

"Killing me won't change anything. Your days are numbered and Rick's as well. Have lived way too long under your thumb"

"You think hmm?" Negan asked threateningly "you've seen nothing of what I'm capable of!"

"So have you" David replied. "These pictures of Rick though..."

Negan saw red at the mention of the pictures and realized that he couldn't control himself any longer. Hit David to the head with all his force as he heard his excruciating pain.

Didn't give a damn though as he kept hitting him. This time it had nothing to do with joy as back then with Glenn and Abraham. It was pure hatred and the want to make him suffer.

Stopped hitting only when David was a bloody mess in front of him and very dead.

Negan breathed heavily as he glared at him in rage. Needed a shower and a change of clothes. After that, he would be focusing on Rick and only. Needed all the support he could offer him right now.

Turned his back to David and ordered his men to throw him outside of the compound. Hopefully, an animal or a Walker would be feeding on him, to not get wasted.

---

A dark shadow approached David's corpse in the dark and cold night. Leaned down to look at him better.

That's what compulsive behaviors led to. Couldn't even control himself, would he be able to get rid of Rick and Negan? Of course not.

"David, David" he mumbled as he shook his head in disappointment "Couldn't even follow simple orders and look at you now. Had your head bashed. Such a disgrace..."

Didn't even bother to give him a proper burial. Had failed massively and deserved what had come to him.

Looked at the Sanctuary and his eyes narrowed.

"Your time is coming as well Negan. Just you wait..."

With that, he walked back to the compound leaving David to get eaten.

Needed sleep and rest after all.

Chapter Text

When Negan finally laid to bed, the sun was starting to rise. He sighed to himself as this had to be one of the worst nights of his whole life. Rick flinched in his sleep and Negan covered him with an extra blanket as he tried to make him more comfortable and hopefully calmer.

He had been through something very traumatic once again and didn't know how they would manage to get over it. Felt his eyes closing as well and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Woke up about two hours later and saw that Rick was awake and staring bitterly at the bedsheets.

"Hey," he said to him roughly and Rick's eyes looked in his direction.

"Hey..." Rick answered hesitantly. "You look tired"

"I am" Negan admitted but couldn't care less "you matter though to me more, not my sleep"

"Shouldn't you be yelling at me?" Rick asked as he felt a tightness inside of him.

Negan sat up and frowned. Had no idea what Rick was talking about.

"What do you mean by that?" he questioned.

"It began the first time you locked me up at the cell. He came and said that he saw me when you were taking me to be locked for the night, even gave me to drink from a bottle of water. I was cuffed and he touched my face saying that he would be coming back for more..." Rick sobbed out.

Negan got even more angry inside of him at what he was hearing.

"I got informed that he came by the second time I put you to the cells but would never think he'd be doing all that," Negan said in a big frustration "should have protected you instead of making you fend for yourself. You should be yelling at me, not the opposite"

"Said that you didn't want anyone else to be touching me," Rick said in bitterness as he stared with a sore expression.

"You are not my property Rick" Negan answered decisively "of course I didn't want this son of a bitch to be getting his hands on you as he did. Would never want that, but I've been very possessive of you. I know that I have. Don't want you to feel forced or that you have some twisted obligation because you don't..."

Rick cried and fell into Negan's arms as he hugged him tightly.

"I don't want to be away from you" Rick sobbed out. "Not ever again"

Negan hugged him back and held Rick as they both teared up.

"Don't want you to, Rick. I'll try my hardest to make it up to you, both for my crap and others..." Negan said to him as he took a shaky breath "no one will get between us again"

"Is he...is he dead?" Rick asked as he wiped the tears with his palm.

"Wouldn't let him keep breathing. We may postpone his death by not communicating properly but he can go to hell at last. Especially after last night"

Rick nodded as he couldn't help but feel relief. He would be living in constant fear if he was kept alive even in a cell.

"How is Amber's health?" Rick questioned as their eyes met.

Negan sighed as Amber had suffered from David as well.

"She is strong. It will take some time to recover but she has Mark to be there for her. It is good to have someone who loves you like that..." Negan swallowed hard "unconditionally...you have your family to be doing that"

"...and you?" Rick asked as he brought his face closer to Negan's.

"Who could love someone like me?" Negan replied almost inaudibly.

Rick paused for a moment before he pressed his lips on Negan's.

"Me" he answered and meant every single bit of this small word.

Negan smiled at that and felt like it was one of the most genuine ones of his whole existence.

Chapter Text

1 month later.

"Rick would you like...-"

"No, no, that's not the way to ask"

"Perhaps...will you do me the honor...?"

Negan sighed in frustration as he rested his head against his bathroom's door. Had been in there for about twenty minutes and was still trying to think of a way...A way to propose to Rick.

Looked at the bathtub and flashes came back to him of Rick tied up. He shook his head as guilt was filling him up once again. Stared at himself in the mirror and knew that maybe it was too much to even attempt it. Was already lucky that Rick hadn't abandoned him. Asking to marry his captor though? Would decline and rightfully so...

"Negan?" Rick asked as he knocked on the door "are you ok in there?"

Negan bit his bottom lip and tried to recompose himself.

"Yeah" he answered "coming out in a sec"

His reflection stared back at him like it was urging him to not do it. Would be a massive failure with consequences in his relationship with Rick.

Took a deep breath and opened the door. Rick was sitting on the bed and he smirked when he saw Negan.

"Thought that you drowned while showering or something..." he said teasingly.

"Nope..." Negan drawled "no luck. Maybe next time..."

Rick pouted and stood up to hug him.

"You are such a grumpy bear" he commented gently. "and an asshole"

"I am..." Negan mumbled as he hugged Rick back. Wanted to start crying once again and beg to forgive him. That he meant every word. But he couldn't.

"Christmas is by the corner," Rick said to him "you don't want Santa to be seeing you in a grumpy mode..."

Negan rolled his eyes as if there was ever a chance he would be getting any kind of gift if Santa was real.

"Santa doesn't visit people like me" he answered with a tone of sarcasm.

"Might make an exception this year..." Rick insisted as he didn't know about Santa but he would be gifting Negan. Had tried a lot a month now and he deserved it.

Looked above their heads and saw a mistletoe decoration. Smirked to himself as he showed it to Negan.

"It's the tradition..." Rick said innocently "we don't want any bad luck"

Negan grinned at that despite his weird feelings. Rick knew him too well and he loved it.

"Hmm if it's tradition..." he said as he pulled Rick closer to him for a kiss.

Rick let out sounds of pleasure as they kissed passionately. Cornered Negan against the wall and heard him take a breath.

"Rick...-" Negan said a bit breathlessly "I want you so much..."

"Me too..." Rick replied as he looked at him in the eyes. Before he knew it they were kissing again and Negan moaned a bit.

Walked with Rick to their bed and touched his face gently as they both laid to it.

Didn't think that he would ever get tired of these moments between them. Even if he was aching for something that he could never have...

Chapter Text

"Judith should put the star on top," said Negan as Rick was holding her in his arms.

She laughed as they gave her a Christmas star that Negan had found while on a run and Rick helped her put it on top.

"Yeah!" Rick told her with a smile as he hugged both of his kids. It was not the first time they had come to see him during this period but one of the happiest visits.

Negan still hadn't released him officially and Rick didn't want to pressure him. Could see the kids, do things on his own as well and have a relationship with Negan which was much different from when he was making him suck him off. Had thought about going home but wasn't so sure he wanted to leave anymore. As long as Negan wasn't mistreating him and he didn't, why should he ruin what they have?

On the contrary, he was trying hard to make him happy as he had said. Sometimes those bad memories would come back but not for long. Rick sighed to himself as he looked at Negan who had sat down on a chair to have a drink.

There were many Saviors around who had come to Negan's sort of pre-Christmas celebration including his ex-wives. Amber was looking great in her red dress and thankfully healthy. Mark was handsome as well despite the burn on his face like Dwight's.

He handed Judith to Carl as he had seen his guard, Justin, and wanted to thank him. Didn't have many interactions with other people since he was either at Negan's room or occupying himself with the garden. He needed to have a word with him though.

"Hey," Rick said awkwardly "don't know if you remember me..."

Justin looked surprised that Rick was talking to him but nodded.

"Of course I do, had to be guarding you after all" he answered but without making him feel bad about the whole thing.

"Right, wanted to thank you for not allowing David to see me that night," Rick said to him with gratefulness.

"Wish I had known what his true motives were, I truly do. Plus I hope you didn't take it personally that I had to be guarding you, know Negan though..." Justin said in an apologetic tone.

"I do" Rick answered to reassure him "did what he said to you. Just wanted to thank you for doing something that wasn't said by Negan but saved me"

"No problem" Justin replied and Rick gave him a small pat on the shoulder as gratitude.

Turned around to go back to Negan when he saw someone coming his way.

"Hello Rick," said Simon "we didn't have the chance to meet all this time"

Rick looked at the mustached man in front of him. He remembered Simon from Negan's first introduction.

"Let's meet the man" he had said before Negan making his exit from the RV.

"Simon" Rick answered and felt himself tensing up involuntarily.

"Heard that Jadis handed you to Negan to be his prisoner. Then the whole incident with David happened...you are a trouble maker as it seems" Simon commented.

"How on earth I'm responsible for those things?" Rick asked in annoyance.

"Come on Rick" Simon drawled "miserable prisoner seeks out another man...I get it"

"I didn't seek out anyone" Rick answered defensively.

Negan came their way as he noticed Rick getting overwhelmed.

"What is happening here?" he asked as he saw Rick's expression and it was the opposite of happy.

"Nothing," Simon said, "just chatting, right Rick?"

"Right" Rick replied with coldness in his voice.

"If you'll excuse me..." Simon said and winked at Rick before turning his back on them.

Negan stood there as Rick's eyes were focused on Simon.

"Hey, are you ok?" Negan asked as he touched Rick's arm gently.

"Maybe, don't know..." Rick said in frustration but his eyes averted from meeting Negan's "I want to spend some time with my kids if it's ok with you"

Negan felt hurt that Rick was implying that he would forbid it but didn't let it show as he let his hand fall from holding Rick's arm.

"Of course Rick..." he mumbled, "go to your kids. I'll be...around..."

Rick didn't answer as he walked back to his kids and Negan noticed his own eyes stinging.

"There's nothing wrong," he thought to himself for reassurance. Everything was ok. He moved to have another drink to shake off the bad feelings inside of him.

Chapter Text

Negan laid to bed next to Rick and he could sense that the younger man was a bit distant towards him which made him question, even more, his thoughts of asking Rick to be his man. He loved him, of course, he did, but things were still complicated between them and the bitterness simply couldn't go away in a month.

𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘋𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥, he thought to himself as he was the main reason for Rick being like that with himself following very close after of course.

He sighed and moved closer to Rick. Didn't want him to not feel well. It was breaking his heart.

"Are you happy here Rick?" he asked after some moments of silence.

Rick bit his bottom lip and felt his eyes stinging. Simon's words had affected him. Maybe he had caused all that had happened to him and no one else was to blame for his sufferings.

"I wasn't but I've grown more comfortable..." Rick answered hesitantly.

Comfortable wasn't enough for Negan though. He wanted Rick to be happy.

"Did someone say something that bothered you?" Negan insisted to know.

"No..." Rick said as he didn't wish to talk about it on second thought "just got sad that I would have to say goodbye to my kids again"

"Don't worry Rick" Negan told him in an attempt to comfort him "you'll be seeing the kids. I'll be doing miles between here and Alexandria if I have to. You'll not be cut off from them"

Rick burst into tears and Negan felt as awful as the other times he'd seen Rick crying.

"Why are you crying?" Negan asked in a soft tone as he wrapped his arm around Rick's shoulders and pouted.

"Nothing..." Rick sobbed "I'm sappy...don't bother about me..."

"To not bother? You're my biggest concern, you prick..." Negan said to him as he rubbed his palm against Rick's arm to comfort him.

"Am I really?" Rick asked with soreness as his eyes met Negan's.

Negan offered him a warm smile.

"Of course, you are. Where would I be without Rick Grimes to be putting me in my place?" he asked teasingly as he gave Rick a light poke.

"Capturing other communities as well...?" Rick asked as without himself interfering with Negan's plans, bet he'd have more communities under his power by now.

Negan chuckled at that and hugged Rick better.

"Nah, that's boring" he answered with a smirk "you are a much better occupation. Now stop crying, you prick. You are breaking my heart every time..."

"So should I not cry like ever again?" Rick asked but wiped the tears.

"No, you asshole. You can cry if you want to but our goal should be to not cry anymore. If you need to, you can cry on my leather jacket as well though...won't be mad" he added with a small smirk.

"Might take you up on that offer..." Rick mumbled but smirked back at him.

"You know how much I love that leather jacket so it means a lot to offer it as a napkin"

"I do" Rick answered and felt himself relaxing to Negan's hug.

"It's Christmas in two days. You don't want Santa to be seeing you teared up or might skip the Sanctuary altogether. You are from the few people here who would be getting a gift either way..." Negan said softly, teasing him a bit.

"Now you believe?" Rick joked back as he felt more light inside of him.

"It doesn't involve myself, that's why..." Negan answered with a laugh.

Looked out of the window and despite the dim lighting of the room, saw snow falling.

He sat up in a hurry as an idea crossed his mind. Rick looked at him weirdly by the sudden change.

"What happened?" he asked in confusion.

"Have an idea" Negan announced to him as he put slippers on "you stay here and I'll be back soon" he promised.

"But it's late Negan..." Rick said as they were about to sleep.

"You'll like it, trust me" Negan answered and opened up the door of his room.

Rick laid back to bed, wondering what Negan wanted them to do at that hour.

Chapter Text

Rick had dozed off a bit when Negan woke him up again by shaking his arm lightly.

"Hey, sorry for the delay" Negan apologized as Rick wiped the sleepiness from his eyes and sat up.

"What were you...-" Rick started when he saw that Negan had lit up the fireplace and it was now radiating a very welcomed warmth. Had also brought two mugs with hot tea. Was snowing more intensely by now so it was a perfect atmosphere to be like that.

"Hope that you're not too tired," Negan said to him as he offered the one mug.

"Didn't know that you were doing such surprises..." Rick answered with a smirk as he took the warm mug to his hands.

"I don't normally, but I thought "hmm what can I possibly do to make Rick smile?" Negan joked "hope I managed it"

"You did" Rick replied as he put the mug on the bedside table to hug Negan "you've tried so much for me and I'm here crying, making you feel bad..."

Negan hugged Rick back and sighed as he embraced Rick's warmth. He felt a pain inside of him at what he was about to say but he needed to say it.

"Don't want you to be feeling sad Rick. Not anymore. I know that you're too kind and don't say things as they are. That I've kept you here long enough. So my Christmas gift will be to return you to your home and end this stupid imprisonment situation"

Felt Rick freezing at these words but didn't see relief when he stared into his blue eyes. Knew that he would be ruining every chance of being together by letting him go but Rick wasn't happy. He needed his home and his family, not him. That was the truth, no matter how much it pained him.

"What are you saying Negan?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"Want me to repeat it?" Negan questioned as it was already hard to say it one time.

"Why would you do that?" Rick said as he frowned. "You had said that only dead I'd be leaving..."

"Because it is going to be Christmas and as you said a good person would do the right thing. The right thing is to let you go, officially. If I don't try to do what's right on Christmas when I'll be doing it?" Negan asked with a sad smile. "And I mean every word"

Rick was still looking sore and didn't know what to say. Knew that he should look relieved, happy, and many more things but he wasn't feeling them.

"Now drink your tea before it gets cold" Negan ordered gently as he got the mug and handed it back to Rick who took it automatically. Knew that this was a shock for Rick but they had one more day together and they were gonna have a good time.

He laid back to bed again and they sipped their drink, each one lost in their thoughts while hearing the sounds of the fire and the wind outside the window.

Chapter Text

Rick finished his tea and looked beside him at Negan who seemed to have fallen asleep while holding his almost empty mug. Took it gently and left it on the bedside table as well as his.

Negan opened his eyes slightly with worry but calmed down when he saw Rick.

"Sleep again..." Rick mumbled as he helped Negan lay better and did the same beside him.

Negan was feeling tired especially after drinking the tea and being in a warm room but stared at Rick behind his half-opened eyelids.

"Hope that one day you'll forgive me because I know that you haven't and it's understandable..." he said to Rick in a low voice.

Rick's eyes met his and sighed as he took Negan's hand in his.

"I had said to you that you're a monster...You're not. David was a monster. I've been weak...I've not been brave enough. I've made mistakes, as you have. But maybe we can get through them" Rick answered honestly.

"All I want is for you to be ok. That's what matters to me and that's why I'll be taking you home" Negan said as he swallowed hard. "I mean it this time because back in the car I didn't. Knew that I had to release you but I couldn't. You have to go, however, no matter how much it pains me"

Rick wrapped his arm around him and Negan felt himself getting emotional.

"I am sorry Negan" Rick mumbled "for everything. Killing your people most of all, I came to see that not everyone is bad and things are not either black or white. They never are..."

"Yeah...they are not," Negan said with a sigh. "We should sleep, want us to be having a fun time tomorrow and make some good memories in this cold factory as well for both you and me"

Rick offered him a small smile and nodded.

"We will" he promised "plus you're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm still in charge of the garden so you'll have to be tolerating me for more than you expected" Rick added teasingly.

Negan felt his heart beating faster at that. Maybe not all would be lost after letting Rick go.

"I'll always want you" he promised and hoped that he would get to propose to Rick at some point. When the time was right.

Chapter Text

Rick woke up to the smell of food and blinked his eyes open. Should have guessed that Negan would be already up and be making them breakfast. Indeed he sat up and saw a very full table of things to eat. His eyes widened as he didn't ask for Negan to overdo it.

"Erm are we expecting company...?" Rick asked but couldn't help to smirk a bit as well.

Negan chuckled and shook his head negatively.

"Nope wanted to make a big breakfast. Who else is gonna be cooking all that for you, I mean come on..." Negan said in a whiny tone. He knew that no one would be as good at taking care of Rick like himself but that was not the point right now.

Rick stood up and wrapped his arms around Negan's warm body.

"You are the best when you want to and you know...not being an asshole or worse a mega asshole"

Negan hummed as he hugged Rick as well.

"Means a lot coming from you," he said as he held Rick for some time. He needed this so much.

Rick let out a surprised yelp as he suddenly noticed the snow outside the window. The Sanctuary had been covered in a decent layer of snow during the night.

He took Negan's hand as he led him closer to the window to see better.

It wasn't too much to be causing troubles with the cars but enough to make a great morning surprise.

"Haven't seen this much snow in quite some time" Rick said to Negan with a smile.

"So we should eat and then we'll be going outside" Negan suggested as he thought that it would be fun.

Rick nodded as he was excited about the prospect.

"Thank you for yesterday," he told Negan as they were about to go sit down and have breakfast "it was a great surprise, all of your surprises are"

"Glad that you liked them..." Negan replied softly and before he knew it, they were kissing pretty passionately.

"Do you want to...?" Rick asked hesitantly in between their kisses.

Negan nodded as breakfast could as well wait.

"I do..." he replied and Rick helped him lay to bed as he removed their clothes.

Negan flipped their positions so that Rick was laying to bed and saw him staring with these intense blue eyes of his.

"You can tie me up if you want to," Rick said as he knew that Negan was a dominant type but had not been pressuring him at all. "I trust you"

Negan bit his lip hesitantly as he had been afraid to suggest something like that to Rick after what happened with David. Didn't want him to be feeling helpless.

"I won't be harming you, never again Rick" Negan mumbled and he meant it.

"I know" Rick replied, "come on enough with the talking, we both want it and since it's my last day here, want us to do this once more..."

"Alright, alright..." Negan said at Rick's eagerness. He was eager as well. Connected their lips again and let himself enjoy it, despite knowing that the chances of being like that ever again were few to none...

---

"Heard him Sir" a man spoke in a low voice. "I did as you said to me...no one saw me eavesdropping. He's gonna return Rick tomorrow"

The other man sipped from his coffee and sighed in frustration.

"About damn time it was. Thought that he would never do it, have lost too much time with Negan's love life. I'm gonna get rid of them both though, once and for all...Tomorrow".

Chapter Text

Negan made Rick dress up very warmly which caused Rick to roll his eyes in amusement and they got for a walk outside to enjoy the snow.

"So..." Rick drawled "How will you be spending your time without me here?"

"Don't know" Negan answered "might kidnap someone else instead..."

Rick narrowed his eyes on him and Negan threw his hands up in surrender.

"What do you want me to do, you prick? I will be missing you. There's no one else that could replace you. Plus you know, trying to be good for a change"

"You can always be coming to Alexandria to be checking on me" Rick suggested as he smirked "might be planning rebellions again..."

"Hmm, is that so?" Negan asked with a grin "then it's a necessity I believe. You or the little serial killer may be causing me troubles again"

"Carl told me of when you made him sing by the way" Rick commented and Negan blushed.

"Yeah, well, I've had the whole family for a while," Negan said "you are my favorite member though"

Rick smiled in satisfaction and hugged Negan.

"Never thought that I'd say it but I'll be missing you as well" Rick replied. Maybe more than he dared to admit.

"It's for the better though" Negan answered despite his sadness.

Rick sighed as he didn't know if it would be for the better after all but time would show, he guessed.

"What is that?" he asked out of sudden as he let Negan go.

"What thing?" Negan questioned in confusion.

"There," Rick pointed out in the distance. Negan turned to look when he felt a snowball hitting him.

Rick chuckled at Negan's shocked expression.

"Got ya," he said with a laugh.

Negan recovered and grinned back at Rick.

"You want a war, Rick?" he asked as he picked up some snow forming his snowball.

"Maybe..." Rick grinned "at least no one will be getting hurt for once in this war"

"I play a mean snow fight" Negan warned with a smile and he threw the snowball at Rick who avoided getting hit last second.

They both laughed as they kept throwing snowballs at each other and having fun, unaware that someone was spying on them.

Chapter Text

"Negan wake up," said Rick as he shook him gently "come on you sleepy, it's Christmas!"

"Hmm..." Negan let out tiredly as he blinked his eyes "Are you eager for me to take you home?" he asked as he couldn't get this excitement. It may be Christmas but was also the day they would be getting separated.

"Yeah" Rick replied with a tone of sarcasm "I'm mad that you haven't taken me to Alexandria already. Of course not, you asshole. Wake up, need to give you your gift"

Negan felt happiness inside of him as he woke up for good and sat up.

"Is there really a gift for me?" he asked as he didn't expect it.

Rick smiled at him and pulled out a wrapped-up gift.

"Wish I could have given you something bigger and better but my resources were quite limited..." Rick explained as he offered him the gift.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure I'm gonna love it," Negan said with a big smile. Unwrapped his gift and saw a knitted green scarf. His eyes widened as he met Rick's eyes.

"Did you make this?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes," Rick nodded "I'd been sneaking out earlier from the garden and I'd been working on it..."

Negan tried it on and he liked it a lot. He leaned in and gave Rick a big hug.

"Thank you so much, Rick," he said emotionally "it's an awesome gift. I'll be wearing it every single day"

Rick rested his head on Negan's shoulder and sighed.

"I am not sure I want to leave..." he admitted.

Negan stared at him and could feel the same sadness as Rick.

"This is not the end of something, Rick...I'll always care about you, and whenever you would like you can be coming by. I could too if you want me..."

"I want you" Rick sobbed out "also want you to move on with someone else. I'm a father of two kids, not to mention your enemy and ex-prisoner. Don't know how this could work out"

"Don't piss me off Rick" Negan warned him as his eyes narrowed "we don't need anyone's permission. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. Distance won't be changing that. You need to spend some time away from here, to see what's best for you"

Rick nodded hesitantly and connected their lips. Kissed him passionately before Negan let go of him and met Rick's eyes.

"Merry Christmas Rick" he whispered to him and squeezed his hand for comfort.

Chapter Text

"So, back to Alexandria" Negan announced as they got inside the car. It was still cold outside and there was still a decent amount of snow. He turned on the heat as he saw Rick's cheeks being red from the chilly weather.

Rick looked outside of the window, at the place that had become both his prison and home for over a month now. Thought back to how terrified he had been at the beginning. He and Negan had made progress though. A big one.

"Yes," Rick answered, "time to go home..."

Negan nodded and turned on the engine as he started driving.

"Listen" Negan drawled "now that you're free, don't be going outside and putting yourself at risk. Are we understood?"

"You don't want a tribute?" Rick asked in confusion.

"Don't want to put all this burden on you. See for yourselves how you'll be more comfortable and don't care about us. We made it before Alexandria, we will make it again. What you need is rest" Negan said to him.

Rick swallowed hard and felt his eyes stinging. Negan did care about him and he was leaving the older man all alone. Knew that this was what needed to be done, but couldn't help feeling bad about it.

Negan saw a black car blocking the road in front of them and frowned as he stopped immediately. He looked at Rick and couldn't understand what this car was doing there because it didn't exist in previous times.

"Why is it blocking the road?" Rick asked with concern.

"I have no idea" Negan replied as he narrowed his eyes on the black car. There was no one inside.

He opened his door and thought to go check it out.

"I am coming with you" Rick announced as he didn't want to leave him alone. There could be a danger.

They walked hesitantly towards the car but there was no one and nothing inside or outside of it.

"How will we keep driving?" Negan mumbled as it would be an issue.

"Maybe we can ask for help at the Sanctuary...-" Rick suggested but was cut off by someone hitting Negan hard to the head.

"Negan!" Rick yelped as he caught him before hitting the road.

He looked up and saw Simon smirking at him.

"You fell like little mouses to my trap," Simon said as he pointed a gun at Rick.

---

"Agh" Negan said in pain as he opened his eyes blurrily. "My head..."

Opened his eyes and found himself tied up with rope to what appeared to be a wooden cabin. It was dirty and had a weird smell. Heard cries and saw Rick being tied up as well to the opposite corner of the room.

"Rick," Negan said to him with worry as Rick was crying pretty hard.

"He did it" Rick sobbed out "he left us here to die"

Negan felt his blood running cold.

"What are you saying Rick?" he demanded, "who did that to us?"

"Simon" Rick chocked "he knocked you out, tied me up, blindfolded us, and with help of someone else he brought us here. Then he left but not before revealing me something. He was the one that put David do all that. Claimed that the assault was all on David but he wanted to destroy us both..."

Negan felt like he would be passing out again when he heard Rick's words. He rested his head against the wooden wall and couldn't control his tears.

What the hell had they gotten themselves into?

Chapter Text

"Why would he do that?" Negan asked roughly as he stared at nothing specifically.

"Don't know" Rick said, feeling a dread inside of him "Because he is a psycho perhaps. He had said to me at the Christmas celebration that I "sought out" David and that's why he did all that to me"

Negan's eyes focused on him and felt anger despite knowing that Rick was not to blame.

"Why did you lie to me again Rick? Once again things were happening behind my back and didn't have a clue because you didn't let me to. That's why you were distant and you kept insisting that everything was fine" Negan replied with bitterness.

Rick met his eyes and felt fresh tears appearing at Negan's disappointment.

"Thought that maybe he was right, ok?" Rick sobbed "that maybe I was the only one at fault for what happened and no one else"

"Are you for real right now, Rick?!" Negan asked as he raised his voice "you are lucky I'm tied up because I would come over there to put some sense in you. Can't believe what I'm hearing"

"Whatever happened, happened" Rick answered as he averted his eyes "we have to get out of here and try to go home"

"This discussion is far from over Rick" Negan replied as he wouldn't be letting it pass so easily. Rick was hurting and he had left him out of it once more. Like pretend would be making the pain lesser somehow. "If I get my hands on him...his death will be way worse than David's. Don't know what the hell I did so wrong with them. They had too much freedom apparently and got very dangerous ideas...-"

"Or maybe they were messed up from the beginning and you couldn't have known" Rick interrupted "don't know what he wants but whatever it is, needed us both out of the way"

"And now we are tied up in this shithole," Negan said as he looked around. Couldn't believe that Simon was behind all that. His trusted lieutenant. Would be paying the price though. As David paid it and was sure that both he and Rick would be paying as well to get back home from wherever they were put in.

"I have a knife hidden in my boot, for times like this..." Negan announced as he tried out his bound hands. The only way out of there was to do everything in his powers to get it.

"Damn it" Negan groaned as he was trying his hardest to reach his legs. Rick opted to stay silent and just stared at the floor miserably.

Negan looked at him and he knew that Rick needed him right now. They had each other in this and no one else.

He tried harder and felt the rope loosening up slightly. It was enough to get the knife though.

Adjusted it vertically against the rope and started cutting as best as he could. Thank God that it was sharp enough. Didn't want to imagine what would happen if he didn't have even that.

About ten minutes later, he managed to cut it completely and saw it falling to the dirty floor.

He sighed in relief and stood up, despite his dizziness.

Walked to Rick and started cutting his rope as well. He threw it away from them and hugged Rick who was looking as sore as he was.

"I am here" Negan sobbed "I am here"

Rick hugged him back tightly and cried as well.

"I am sorry for not telling you. I failed you while you've done so much try for me..."

Negan touched his face gently and shook his head negatively.

"You are not to blame for what we did, get that? Nor me or David or Simon now. You were the victim in all that and it is terrible to try to make you think otherwise. Don't know how but we will make it back. I promise"

Rick nodded hesitantly and looked at the door. They had to go outside.

He gave the door a hard kick with his leg and thankfully it opened without much struggle.

They looked around them and all they could see were mountains, trees, and snow.

Negan took in a sharp breath as he looked at Rick. They were very screwed.

Chapter Text

"We need to follow the main road and we'll get somewhere hopefully," Negan said as he was trying hard to not panic. They had nothing but his small knife. The weather was cold and the snow made their situation even worse.

"Do you believe that we will survive?" Rick asked as he didn't think so personally.

Negan sighed as he was having trouble being optimistic as well.

"We will because we have each other. Said that I'll be taking you home and I'm gonna keep that promise" Negan announced decisively.

He walked closer to Rick and wrapped his arm around him for comfort. Rick rested his head on his shoulder and looked at the view with bitterness.

"Better get going then..." he mumbled. This had to be the worst Christmas ever. If he had just talked, Negan would have done something about it. Once again, he had messed up by keeping things to himself. Negan didn't deserve what was happening.

They had to start walking though if there was even a small chance of managing to return.

"Do you remember for how long he drove?" Negan asked as he kept looking around them.

"Not sure but it has to be far away. Especially on foot. He thought that we would starve apparently..." he said, bitterly.

"How the hell he's gonna explain our disappearance" Negan wondered with anger about Simon.

"He will find a way, I guess" Rick answered "either way we are too exposed out here"

"Will find a shelter for the night, alright?" Negan tried to comfort him "not gonna stay out here. Tomorrow is a new day and we'll try to find our way back"

"Pretty ironic that we thought that this would be our last day together" Rick mumbled "who could have known what would happen"

"At least we are not on our own" Negan said with a sigh as they kept walking "you know how to survive and so do I. We won't let him win us"

Rick nodded, hoping that their survival skills would come in hand because they would be needing them out there ,in the middle of nowhere...

Chapter Text

Rick shivered from the cold and Negan held him closer for some warmth, although he couldn't offer much right now.

It had started getting dark and they hadn't found a shelter yet.

"What are we going to do?" Rick asked in despair as he trembled.

Negan wished he had an answer to that. Their situation was very bad. They had been walking for hours now and he didn't recognize anything from where they had ended up.

All he could see was snow and trees apart from the main road.

"Don't know Rick, I'm sorry" Negan sobbed out. "I'm useless..."

Rick snapped and grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't you say that again" he said decisively "you're not useless just because we were kidnapped and left here to die"

"I don't give a damn about myself Rick" Negan answered as their eyes met "you have to go home though. Two kids need you, even if I don't make it, you have to go back"

"We will be going back: together. Don't piss me off right now, I'm already cold enough" Rick warned him as he was annoyed by Negan's words that he wouldn't be making it.

Negan sighed in frustration and continued walking.

"If I get this son of a bitch..." Negan said with a low growl.

"I know" Rick answered with bitterness as he walked beside him.

Negan kept looking around when he saw a wooden barn that was barely noticeable in the dark.

"We have to go there Rick," Negan said to him "don't know if there will be something better close enough"

Rick glared at the abandoned barn and nodded hesitantly.

"You are right, we should stay here," he said as there wasn't any other choice.

They walked cautiously towards it and Negan held the knife tightly. Didn't know what they could encounter upon entering.

Motioned for Rick to be silent and opened the wooden door which cracked.

The place had been abandoned for who knows how many years now. They saw leftover tractors but were all dusty and broken down.

"I think we are alone" Negan mumbled lowly when he heard a growl behind them.

Turned around quickly as Rick let out a scared yelp.

Negan stabbed the Walker to the head before it could bite them.

"What were you saying...?" Rick asked as he looked at the dead Walker. If he had to guess, he was a farmer when he was still alive.

Negan looked at the knife and then at the barn. Had to check the rest of the barn but didn't think that more surprises would be waiting for them.

There were large pieces of dry hay and nothing else of use.

Negan kept his guard up but didn't have another encounter with a Walker.

"We should lay higher from the ground, to avoid any possible dangers," Negan thought and Rick agreed. The higher, the better.

They climbed up the dry hay and Rick felt himself wanting to just lay there.

He took a deep breath and rested his head on the hay. Was feeling tired and still cold.

Negan laid beside him and wrapped up his arm around Rick as he pulled him a bit closer.

"At least we can rest a bit..." he said to Rick who stared back at him.

"Yeah..." Rick answered hesitantly "we have to get some energy to keep walking"

Negan held his hand and Rick felt himself getting some much-needed reassurance. Was hungry already but knew that he had to hold on.

Hopefully, they would be finding something tomorrow. Felt his eyes closing against his will as he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Negan blinked his eyes open and felt his throat sore. He let out a rough cough. Rick stirred awake beside him and looked next to him, at Negan, with worry.

"Are you ok?" he asked with a frown. Negan was feeling weak though. Rick shifted his body and felt Negan's forehead with his palm. He was warm to the touch.

It seemed to be the early hours of the morning and Rick sat up. They couldn't possibly go outside with Negan being feverish and coughing.

"You are sick most likely," Rick said as despite being badass in most things, Negan was not used to being out there in the cold, having lived at the Sanctuary for so many years now.

"Perfect. Just perfect..." Negan let out as he was feeling uncomfortable being sick while out there. Plus Rick needed him.

"We need food and you can't go out right now," Rick said to him and they looked each other in the eyes.

"What do you suggest then?" Negan asked as he had a feeling he wouldn't be liking it.

"I will go alone to search for food" Rick answered as he couldn't see any other option.

"Don't think so Rick" Negan said as he shook his head negatively. It was too dangerous to let him alone out there.

"So is it better to risk your health even more?" Rick questioned as Negan couldn't understand that when he was feverish, the last thing he should do was to roam around with such cold weather. They needed food though. Couldn't make it without it and that meant Rick would have to be searching for it.

"If a Walker bites you what am I supposed to do? Not keep living for sure..." Negan told Rick bitterly as he felt his eyes stinging.

"No one will be harming me. We will be securing the door here and you'll be protected. I can take the knife with me. You have to trust me..." Rick insisted as this was the only way.

"I can't lose you..." Negan sobbed as he couldn't control himself anymore.

"Hey, the only way you'd be losing me, would be if I was to run away. I won't, you asshole. You need food to get better. To go back home, remember?" Rick said to him as he tried to comfort Negan. "Let me try and promise to be back in a couple of hours if I have or do not have any luck"

Negan swallowed dryly and nodded, although reluctantly.

"If you're not back until noon, I'll come looking for you," he said as was afraid of what could happen out there.

"Ok" Rick replied gently "Although I'll be back. I will not be putting you at risk by going out there in your condition. Plus, you're not getting rid of me that easily"

Negan sighed as he wanted to hold Rick for some more.

"Don't go just yet..." he pleaded "it's still early either way. Lay here for a bit..."

Rick's eyes softened at that and kissed Negan on the cheek. He laid back down and hugged Negan as best as he could. At least it hadn't been uncomfortable laying on hay so that was something.

"Miss your breakfasts already" Rick mumbled as he offered Negan a smile.

"My spaghetti?" Negan asked as he let out a cough.

Rick laughed softly and nodded.

"That as well. Miss...laying on your bed, our talks, you getting mad for the silliest reasons..."

"I can do that here as well" Negan joked a bit and Rick chuckled.

"We will get back and all this will be just a bad memory," Rick said to Negan "you'll see"

"Only bad things happened to you since you met me," Negan said with sadness "First you had me to be treating you like my slave, then David, now Simon..."

"Yeah," Rick replied with a tone of sarcasm "like, before you, I've had it all easy. You know that we encountered a group that was cannibals and wanted to eat all of us?"

"For real?" Negan asked as his eyes widened.

Rick nodded as he thought of Terminus.

"They got what they deserved in the end, but yes, I've had my fair share of messed up things..."

"I know..." Negan replied as he glared at the wooden ceiling.

"What would I do without you, huh?" Rick asked with a small smirk.

"You'd be at your house, doing normal things..." Negan answered as he let out another cough.

"When did I do normal things, to be doing them now?" Rick wondered and Negan couldn't help but smirk back at him.

Chapter Text

Negan stared at the empty barn as Rick had left to go look for food. What had he done so wrong in his life and everything kept going from bad to worse? Didn't have a clue where they were and now he had gotten sick as well.

He shifted his body with a sigh as his mind was on Rick. What if he didn't return because something happened to him? Thought that he would be losing his mind until he came back. Rick was right though, he should trust him. Worrying so much was doing him no good.

Thought of Simon instead. How he would be killing him and whoever else was involved when their sufferings would finally come to an end. Who knows what lies he would be saying to prove that they had gone missing or worse that they were dead. Believed that his goal was to take over eventually when everyone would have been fooled that he had died.

Carl and Rick's family though didn't deserve all this pain. To think that Rick was dead when he wasn't. It was already bad enough that he had torn them apart, this would be too much for sure.

Sick or not, he had to stand up and walk. Rick would insist to be staying put until he was well again but they would be losing precious time. Had to man up and try for Rick. If he had to set a goal in his miserable life so far, would be to take the younger man home. That was the most important thing.

"Come back safe Rick," he thought to himself. Felt the weakness getting to him again and closed his eyes as he shivered a bit from the fever.

---

Rick looked around him, he needed to be cautious of any danger that could appear, like yesterday at the barn.

The sun was shining above his head but wasn't warm and not enough to melt the snow that had covered most of the space around.

Glared at the grey road with the two white lines in the middle bitterly as he kept walking. It was a long way home. He knew that and despite wanting to be optimistic, despair was creeping in him. Had to take care of Negan now that he was sick, only himself he had to do so. Wouldn't be letting him keep walking and risk getting pneumonia or something else.

Where had Simon taken them and most importantly why? What would he gain by something like that? If he had just been honest, perhaps they wouldn't be in this terrible position now.

Negan had tried his hardest to do what he had told him back then, to be better, and despite it all, they found themselves kidnapped and stranded.

That was life during the Apocalypse, he guessed, as he kept walking and held the knife more tightly.

Chapter Text

Rick heard his stomach growling loudly and sighed to himself. Had been walking for over an hour and didn't come across not even one building. Didn't want to go any further either because it would be even more difficult to go back to Negan. He sat down at a snowy rock and felt his eyes stinging. Was feeling tired, hungry, and thirsty. Had to try though for both himself and Negan.

That asshole was capable of going out there with a fever to search for him. Which despite it all, made him feel emotional that Negan would be doing that for him.

They had made big progress he and Negan. From treating him like a slave now they had formed this newfound relationship.

Knew that the most logical thing should be to move as far away from the other man, but he couldn't. It wasn't an act that Negan cared about him and so did he as well. If anything being forced to stay together both at the Sanctuary and out there had brought them closer.

Rick sighed miserably and stood up. Had to keep searching when suddenly he heard a growl behind him. He turned around quickly and saw a single Walker ready to bite him. He fought against it and noticed that it had a green slime.

"Agh!" Rick growled as he struggled against it. Took a better grip on the knife and pressed it to the Walker's head as hard as he could.

He breathed heavily when his eyes started hurting.

"What th-" Rick said as he tried to clear his eyes.

Wiped them as much as he could with his shirt and blinked again.

"Long time no see Rick..." said Lori who was standing right in front of him.

Rick froze. Lori was dead and yet he was seeing her alive.

"Lori..." Rick mumbled as he couldn't understand.

"The Walker had a hallucinative slime. It will wear off soon but that doesn't mean we can't hang out in the meantime" Lori explained as he offered him a small smile.

"Negan needs me and I'm hallucinating?" Rick asked in despair.

"You won't abandon him, he knows that. Don't worry, you'll get to go back to him. I know that you will" Lori said as she looked around.

"Shouldn't you be mad at me?" Rick questioned instead. "You are dead and I'm here with Negan..."

"I am part of your consciousness, Rick. Can't possibly get mad. But Lori wouldn't be either. I know that Negan was too rough at the beginning but he changed and it was all thanks to you. Need each other more than ever before"

Rick took in a deep breath as he and Lori stared at one another.

Chapter Text

"I feel...lost, Lori" Rick mumbled as they walked side by side "Simon left us here to die, slowly and painfully, away from everyone we love"

"It's bad Rick," Lori said to him with a nod "I won't try to sugarcoat it but it is what it is. Gotta make the best out of every situation"

"If we starve from hunger..." Rick answered with a small groan.

"Come on Rick" Lori scolded him "you've gone through way worse. Will find a way. You always do"

Rick sighed as he looked at her.

"Didn't know I've had such a supportive consciousness..."

"See..." Lori answered with a smile "we don't get enough credit"

"Who is "we"?" Rick asked in confusion.

"Your friends and the family that you've lost" she explained "all that we went through together, all that we taught you one way or another, well, they are still part of you. We are still part of you and just because we are gone, doesn't mean that you've forgotten us..." Lori said gently as she touched Rick's hand.

Rick had tears in his eyes and they rolled down his cheeks.

"I am sorry Lori..." he sobbed "I've never wanted you to die despite this bitterness between us..."

"I know Rick, we all do. Even Shane knows the reasons you've had to kill him. Don't be afraid of Negan. I know that he caused you a lot of pain, but he's been through a lot as well. His difference with David and Simon though is that he was capable of change while they weren't. Not saying that he'll stop being an asshole entirely but give him a place in your heart..."

"Are you sure that you're not from Negan's consciousness instead of mine?" Rick joked lightly as he wiped his tears with his palm.

"No" Lori replied with a smirk "but bet he has people like me, to be putting him in place. Even if he doesn't though, he has you to be doing that"

Rick and Lori shared a laugh and Lori disappeared from in front of him.

When Rick opened his eyes again, he felt a cold breeze on his face.

Blinked his eyes and saw that the main road had led him to a big lake that was surrounded by the snowy mountains. He looked around and he couldn't believe his eyes.

There was a building made of stones by the lake that wrote "Survival hut". Rick felt a relief spreading inside of him.

It would probably have supplies left and even if it didn't, they could move with Negan there, to be feeding and drinking from the lake.

Couldn't wait to go back to Negan to tell him the good news, Rick thought to himself, as he walked towards the building.

Chapter Text

Rick returned to their temporary home, being pleased with what he had discovered. There were many cans of various foods that hadn't expired, some bottles of water that were used to gather fresh water from the lake, and some leftover sleeping bags.

Couldn't have been better for him and Negan that were in a such rough situation. Tomorrow he would help Negan and they would both move there instead until the older man was well again.

Knew that he had been late by the time he returned and saw Negan pacing back and forth outside of the barn while being upset.

"You asshole," Rick said as his eyes narrowed on him "what are you doing out here in the cold?"

"I was losing my mind" Negan answered with a rough voice.

Rick moved closer to him and he was hot to the touch.

"Let's go inside now before I get angry" Rick threatened but his eyes had a worry in them.

Negan complied and felt good to be back in a relatively warm place.

"What took you so long?" Negan asked and his eyes widened when he saw the things that Rick had brought back.

"Found a survival hut by a lake. It has leftover food and we can catch fish from the lake. To do so, you need to be able to stand up enough to go there though..." Rick replied with a criticizing tone.

He positioned the sleeping bags on top of the dry hay and made Negan lay down inside of it.

"I was so worried..." Negan drawled as he bit his bottom lip.

Rick sighed but nodded.

"Despite not agreeing with you waiting outside...thank you for caring about me so much," Rick said as their eyes met. "It's my turn to take care of you though"

Rick opened up a canned soup and started giving it to Negan slowly and water afterward as he had been very weak as well. Ate from one can as well and laid beside Negan, tired of the whole day.

He shifted his body to look at Negan and held his hand in his. It was cold to the touch and he tried his best to warm it.

"Are you a bit better now?" Rick asked softly as their eyes met.

"At least not as hungry anymore but I feel weak..." Negan replied as he let out a cough "don't worry though, sick or not tomorrow we are moving. I already feel terrible that we can't keep walking because of me..."

"Don't be" Rick said decisively "What matters is not to go back at a record time, but to be healthy and alive. That's the most important thing"

Negan nodded slowly and Rick got out of his sleeping bag. He moved on top of Negan who looked at him intensely.

Leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"I love you" Rick confessed to him and Negan felt his eyes stinging from his emotions.

"Love you too Rick..." Negan chocked out "so, so much..."

Chapter Text

"What were you doing while I was gone?" Rick asked as he had wrapped his arm around Negan's shoulders as much as the sleeping bags allowed. Felt like a dream that he was lying somewhere warm again. "Besides waiting to piss me off by finding you outside..."

Negan rested his head on Rick's shoulder and coughed again.

"Nothing much...slept a bit, was having a fever, then worrying about you. Thinking that you'd leave me out here all alone..." Negan drawled with a pout.

"You're such a grumpy bear" Rick chuckled softly "I'm here, am I not?"

"You are" Negan nodded as he leaned closer to Rick for comfort.

"Bet that you'd like to tie me up again..." Rick said teasingly and Negan rolled his eyes.

"Hmm...shame that I don't have some restraints with me in the middle of nowhere" Negan joked back "will make up for it when we finally get back home"

"You could make up for it here as well..." Rick suggested and Negan's head shot up with a smirk.

"I am sick you know..." Negan said as if that had ever been a problem for him.

"Ok then" Rick answered as it was his turn to roll his eyes "wouldn't want to make you tired..."

Negan opened up his sleeping bag and moved on top of Rick.

"If I can't move my legs tomorrow, you'll have to carry me," Negan said to Rick teasingly but leaned down and kissed his neck passionately.

Rick moaned and begun undressing them both.

"Negan..." he mumbled as he looked at him with want.

"You are mine," Negan said in a possessive tone as Rick was staring at him like that, his blue eyes filled up with need.

"I am..." Rick agreed as Negan started touching him tenderly.

Negan fingered him at a slow pace while kissing his neck and making love to him. Could feel the weakness getting to him again but he needed to satisfy Rick.

To make him his again especially after these assholes had dared to touch Rick.

He took a hold of Rick's wrists and held them above his head as he entered Rick carefully.

Rick let out a small gasp and Negan kissed him on the neck again for comfort.

"So good for me..." Negan whispered to him as he moved in and out rhythmically.

Rick brought his hips forward to match Negan's thursts in him and they both moaned at the feeling.

"Who do you belong to?" Negan asked as they were both about to cum.

"You, Negan" Rick answered and he meant every word "I'm yours"

"Yes, you are" Negan confirmed as he allowed Rick to release himself and followed right after him.

Negan left their bodies linked as they laid right there together, trying to catch their breaths again.

Chapter Text

"Are you holding on...?" Rick asked with concern as he was walking with Negan to go back to the lake.

"Yeah..." Negan mumbled roughly. Rick had wrapped the one sleeping bag over his shoulders in an attempt to protect him from the cold weather.

"It won't be much longer until we arrive," Rick said to him "you'll see, it will be much better there"

"Rick" Negan started "if I don't become well until New Year's, you should continue without me..."

Rick shot him a look and nodded negatively.

"Forget it," he said decisively "not going anywhere without you. I believe that a warm place will be very helpful. When you have enough strength, we start walking again"

"But...-" Negan tried to protest when Rick stopped and held his hand.

"We will find the way together. Won't be discussing this with you again. I said that we are sticking together and that's what we'll do"

"Fine, you prick..." Negan answered but made a small pout. Wanted Rick to return to his home as soon as possible, not to be nursing him back to health with the very few stuff that they had.

Rick kissed him on the cheek and felt his face with his palm, which was still warm to the touch.

"Hold on a bit more and then you'll be lying down, to take care of you. Gonna warm you a can of soup and you'll see how better you are going to feel" Rick said to him gently. "Hope I didn't wear you off last night..." he added with a smirk.

"It was amazing Rick," Negan said to him as they hugged "would never think that we would do that to a barn and while with a fever, but it felt so good"

"Can't wait to have you to a bed instead of dry hay" Rick told him.

"Same Rick" Negan answered with a small sigh "we will have all the time to do whatever we want when we get back"

"We will" Rick promised as he offered Negan a smirk and they kept walking.

Chapter Text

"There you go," said Rick as he made Negan as comfortable as possible and laid beside him to rest.

"If there wasn't for this place, we would be very screwed..." Negan mumbled as he looked outside of the window that had a view of the lake.

"Do you recognize anything?" Rick asked as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

"No..." Negan said in disappointment "never been here before and you know, I'm not known for scavenging. Had others to be doing that..."

"We can't know every single place there is" Rick answered as he rubbed his palm against Negan's arm, trying to soothe him.

"It's nice here," Negan told him with roughness in his voice. "and it's comforting that we are together..."

Rick nodded and pulled Negan gently even closer. Was aching for human touch. Negan's touch specifically.

"I am happy with you Negan," Rick said out of sudden as their eyes met "it's not just that I'm comfortable as I said. If it was someone else who had me, as he'd said, I would rather end my life than having to live with them but with you it's different. Only you can have me"

"I wanted you to go back home, Rick. It wasn't some act or meaningless words, no matter how much I'd be missing you" Negan replied honestly "now we are stranded though, away from our homes"

Rick sighed as it was the bitter truth.

"We will survive and go back, have to believe that we will," Rick said to him as he leaned in for a kiss on the cheek. "You should be resting and I'll be doing everything for you, are we understood?"

"Always wanted a personal carer..." Negan drawled as he poked Rick playfully.

"On your service" Rick answered with a smirk. "Now I'll go to gather some woods so that I can put them to that small fireplace. We can warm up food, water and not freeze to death would be great as well..."

Negan removed his leather jacket and handed it to Rick.

"Wear it," he said decisively "I'm good inside the sleeping bag. You should be the one protected"

Rick tried it on and it smelled like Negan. Their eyes met and Negan was looking at him intensely. Rick felt his cheeks heating up as he blushed but felt good to be wearing Negan's jacket.

Chapter Text

"Want us to talk about what Simon had said to you" Negan announced despite Rick's avoidance of the subject. They had both laid to their sleeping bags but had not fallen asleep yet.

"Do I have to?" Rick asked with a sigh.

"You do, yes," Negan said decisively "because I don't want you to be suffering all alone"

"I am not suffering..." Rick mumbled but Negan didn't seem convinced.

"You were affected despite keeping it a secret from me. I don't want you to be blaming yourself for anything" Negan said to him as he squeezed Rick's hand in his.

"He's dead, Negan and Simon will be as well. Won't be touching me again..." Rick replied as their eyes met. "I am yours and only you can have me, both physically and emotionally..."

Negan felt a warmth spreading inside of him and he knew that he wanted Rick right now. Ignored his cold once again and moved on top of Rick as he caressed his cheek gently. The only sounds were their breaths and the crackling of the fire that they had set to their small fireplace.

"No one will harm you again, I promise..." Negan whispered to him. Rick pulled him closer and felt Negan's body against his.

"Please Negan..." Rick said pleadingly as he stared at him "make me yours..."

"Let's take these clothes off of you," Negan told him and Rick nodded eagerly.

Negan admired his boy all naked and Rick felt himself getting hard at the attention.

"God, I want you to my bed so bad..." Negan said to him but they would have to compromise.

"There's some rope in that small cupboard if you want to...you know..." Rick suggested and saw Negan's eyes widen.

He got away from Rick to look and indeed there was a bit of rope left.

Looked unsure but Rick encouraged him. Knew what Negan liked and that he was more of a dominant. Plus he felt like surrendering to Negan right now.

Let Negan tie up his hands and he laid back down again. Flipped him on his belly and Rick took in a breath as Negan rubbed his ass cheeks gently.

Negan gave him a small hit with his palm but not strong enough to hurt him.

"Please Negan" Rick moaned "want you inside of me..."

"Gotta finger you first, baby," Negan said to him and started making Rick wet.

Rick was very obedient and Negan loved the sounds of pleasure he was letting out for him.

"Negan..." Rick said as he was close to climaxing.

"Keep yourself for me" Negan ordered and Rick held it as best as he could.

He lowered his boxers and pushed his cock slowly to Rick's asshole.

They both moaned loudly as he began fucking him, slowly but steadily.

Negan grabbed him by his curls as he tried to not be rough and pulled his head closer to him as he kissed his neck passionately.

"Cum for me," he said as they were both close. Rick gasped and felt his insides contracting as they came together.

Felt Negan's fluids filling him up and moaned as the older man removed his dick from him.

Rick laid back down to his sleeping bag, pretty exhausted and Negan did the same beside him as sex could be very tiring when he was already weak. Had felt so good though and didn't regret doing so.

Rick shifted his body sleepily to look at Negan and the other man began untying his hands.

Negan kissed him on the cheek and covered them both to not get cold although it had gotten warm with the fire.

"Sleep baby..." Negan said to him gently as he looked at Rick falling asleep while feeling satisfied.

Chapter Text

"Do you think that it is New Year's yet?" Rick asked as they were sitting with Negan close to the fire for warmth and eating two fishes that he had managed to catch, although with great difficulty. Tasted much better than canned foods though. Negan was still with a fever although he had been going a bit better as it seemed.

"Not sure since we don't have a clock but bet that it's close to midnight by now," Negan said to him as he finished eating his fish.

"Well, happy new year then" Rick smirked a bit "and hope that it finds us back home..."

"Happy new year Grimes" Negan smiled at him "yes that would be great"

Negan stared at him intensely and he wanted to do this now.

"Can you come a bit closer to me?" Negan requested as Rick looked surprised. He left his food to the side though and complied.

Expected Negan to talk and saw his nervousness.

"What is going on Negan?" he asked.

"I have to tell you something that I wanted...since we were at the Sanctuary but I couldn't..." Negan said hesitantly.

"Ok..." Rick drawled "What is it then?"

Negan sighed but he wanted to do this. Didn't know when or if they would return to their homes.

"Want you to be my man as in getting married. Look, before you decline, I know that you have doubts especially after what I did to you, but I love you, so much...can't imagine my life without you..." Negan rambled but Rick pressed his lips against his to silence him.

Had tears in his eyes but of happiness, not sadness.

"I do, you asshole" Rick sobbed out "now get on one knee and ask me properly..."

Negan felt a wetness in his eyes as well as he got to one knee as Rick had asked.

Held Rick's hand in his and they stared at each other in the eyes.

"Rick Grimes, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my husband?" he asked "promise to love and care for you...in health or sickness, like now, at the Sanctuary or Alexandria or even in the middle of nowhere"

"If you promise to never have another prisoner," Rick said to him teasingly as he wiped his tears with his palm.

Negan smirked at that and nodded negatively.

"Only you, I want, no one else" he promised.

"Yes then," Rick told him "with all my heart, yes"

Negan smiled, filled up with happiness as he stood up and hugged Rick tightly.

"Love you so much, Rick," he said "thank you for doing me this honor"

"We will be getting married" Rick replied with a small smirk "there's no backing off now"

Negan laughed and kissed him.

"Wouldn't want it any other way. Can't wait to become a Grimes as well" he said lovingly.

Rick led him to their sleeping bags as they kissed passionately.

"You already are part of my life, now you'll be family as well" Rick promised him as, despite their difficult situation, he was very excited for the new year now.

Chapter Text

"Didn't know you could set such effective traps..." Negan commented as Rick had caught a rabbit with his trap.

Rick rolled his eyes in response.

"Daryl had taught me," he said to Negan.

"Daryl freaking Dixon?" Negan asked jokingly and gave Rick a small poke.

"Yep, Daryl freaking Dixon" Rick answered with a tone of sarcasm "we both are good in other things as well you know, other than being your prisoners..."

"I know, you prick," Negan said in exasperation as he pouted "although Daryl was a pain in my butt"

"Hmmm...." Rick drawled "so, I wasn't a pain in the butt?"

"You are the cutest" Negan answered with a small blush and Rick smiled at that.

"Thank you," Rick said lovingly "despite obsessed with making us your prisoners, you are not so bad after all. If you keep behaving at least..."

"I will" Negan answered eagerly "now leave the rabbit to the side to kiss you"

Rick shot him a look but complied as he washed off his hands to the lake and shivered a bit from the cold water.

He turned his attention to Negan who looked at him with want. It's been over a week that they were staying there and Negan was better now. Hadn't left yet though as the weather was still very cold.

Negan leaned in and kissed him gently as Rick responded to it.

"I will never get tired of this..." Negan commented as he tasted Rick's lips.

"Same" Rick said as he looked towards their temporary house. He took Negan's hand and led him to it as Negan smirked in response.

Turned out that both of them could be very needy and demanding when they wanted something. Without the forced part this time though.

Rick closed the door behind Negan with his leg and cornered him against it.

He placed kisses all over his mouth and down to his neck making Negan moan softly.

"God, Rick..." Negan said, a bit out of breath, as their eyes met. "I have the most handsome husband to be"

"...and smart, funny, badass..." Rick added with a smirk.

"All that as well" Negan answered with a smile.

"We have to cook" Rick announced and Negan let out a whine as he wanted to continue kissing him "hey, don't be like that"

"But I want you..." Negan said miserably.

"After dinner, I'm all yours" Rick promised "now you need to eat though to get your strength back, you asshole"

"Fine..." Negan mumbled "I love you though"

Rick chuckled and gave Negan one more kiss.

"Love you too," he said to Negan.

Chapter Text

"So..." Negan started as they had laid down for the night "How would you like our marriage?"

Rick looked at him in surprise as he would have expected to follow what Negan wanted.

"Would you let me choose?" he asked hesitantly.

Negan sighed as he moved on top of Rick and touched his face gently.

"Want you to enjoy it, Rick. What's the point if you don't?" he questioned as their eyes met. Rick bit his bottom lip and nodded.

"Sorry, it's just that I'm not usually offered much of a choice..." he mumbled.

"We will do it the way you want it," Negan said decisively as he trusted Rick's choices.

"Ok then" Rick answered "Erm, could we do it at Alexandria? No offense for the Sanctuary..."

Negan chuckled at that. "None taken. Alexandria is better. Who else is gonna marry us if not Gaby after all?" he asked teasingly.

Rick rolled his eyes but agreed.

"Bet that he will be thrilled," he said with some sarcasm.

"Will you allow me to take your last name?" Negan asked as he caressed Rick's cheek.

"If you would like it," Rick said and Negan brightened up at that.

"I do," he told Rick "hope that the kids will want me as a stepfather though..."

"They will don't worry" Rick replied to calm Negan down "it will be perfect"

"I am thinking of giving my place to Dwight" Negan admitted "he will do just fine. Even better than me. If we are to get married, don't want us to be separated. Me at the Sanctuary and you at Alexandria, nor to keep you away from the kids. Not anymore. So yeah...I'm done being a leader"

Rick's eyes widened as he didn't expect that.

"Wouldn't you miss it though?" he asked.

"No, Rick" Negan mumbled "I have caused enough pain already. Want to focus on you and our new family"

Rick nodded slowly and Negan leaned down to kiss him. Undressed for Negan who looked at Rick's naked body beneath him.

"How did this happen?" he asked as he traced the bullet wound that had healed long ago with his finger, very gently, afraid that he would be hurting Rick.

"I had gotten shot and that put me into a coma..." Rick explained, "woke up to a hospital and found out the hard way what had happened..."

"Bet that you were afraid," Negan said with a frown.

Rick nodded and looked down at the bullet wound.

"I was but you get used to it, eventually" he answered truthfully.

Negan placed a kiss on his wound and Rick let out a small whimper.

"You should sleep," Negan said to him in a low voice as he tucked him inside the sleeping bag, making sure that Rick would be keeping warm.

Rick hummed sleepily and closed his eyes as Negan stroked his hair, to soothe him.

Felt Negan wrapping his arm over the sleeping bag and relaxed even more as he knew that no harm would be coming to him.

Chapter Text

Rick woke up early in the morning and was in desperate need of some fresh air.

Removed Negan's arm from him slowly, to not wake him up, and stood up. Put on the only pair of clothes he had and sat outside of their "house".

Stared at the lake and felt the cold air on his face. Would they ever make it back home? Had avoided thinking of the possibility that they wouldn't but suddenly he was feeling a big weight inside of him.

Simon had ruined them, either they said it out loud or not, this fact wasn't changing. Who knows what lies he would be saying to everyone they loved and cared for.

Without a car or a horse, it would be very difficult to go back. What did they ever do to him and deserved this fate, Rick thought bitterly.

He was so lost in his thoughts that didn't even notice that a Walker had come dangerously close when Negan killed it with the knife.

"What are you doing Rick?" Negan demanded to know "it could have attacked you..."

"I...-" Rick mumbled "didn't see it"

Negan sighed as he sat down next to him.

"Why are you even out here? It's cold...Come back to your sleeping bag"

Rick looked uncertain but shook his head negatively.

"Want to stay out here for a bit. Will be more careful..." he said to Negan.

Negan hesitated as he saw that Rick was not in a good mood.

"Have you changed your mind about the wedding?" he asked as he felt anxiety inside of him "it's ok if you did, don't worry about me..."

Rick's eyes snapped at him and shook his head negatively.

"No, of course not. I am just worried. We have no idea where we are and it's too dangerous to keep going without knowing if there will be a shelter again" Rick said in devastation.

"It's hard Rick. I know that it is" Negan replied as he looked at his hands "but we are together. If I don't believe that we will make it, what's even left?"

Rick felt his eyes stinging and rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

"I am scared Negan..." Rick chocked out as he felt very emotional.

"I am too" Negan mumbled as he had a sore expression on his face "we will find a way though. Always do. We should talk more about these things. Making out with you is amazing but that's not the way out of our problems and especially if you're feeling overwhelmed, alright?"

"Yeah..." Rick answered as he wiped a tear from his cheek.

"Let's lay a bit more" Negan suggested "it's early either way"

Rick nodded and stood up as they both walked inside with Negan by his side.

Chapter Text

"It is snowing pretty hard again..." Negan commented as he showed it to Rick who was not happy at all with this development.

He turned his back on the window and wanted to start crying from his frustration. Sat by the fire instead and felt miserable.

"That bastard Simon," Negan said in anger as he sat down beside him.

"He should be at the Sanctuary, being happy that he got rid of us..." Rick answered bitterly.

"Now it's not fun and games in the snow," Negan said with a deep sigh as he remembered them having a good time playing a snow fight at the Sanctuary.

"No...I bet it's not" Rick mumbled as he stared at the fire.

"Would love that green scarf you made for me right now" Negan told him with a small smile on his lips.

"Really? It wasn't even that good...made several mistakes..." Rick said hesitantly,

"Don't insult my gift" Negan pouted "I loved it and that's what matters"

Rick couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Ok, ok," he said as he held his hands up in surrender "if you liked it so much..."

"I did, you prick" Negan confirmed with a grin "now stop being like that. All grumpy, that's my characteristic, don't steal it..."

Rick rolled his eyes but nodded.

"Fine, I won't," he said to Negan as he brought himself closer to the older man.

"Do you want us to get it on?" Negan suggested with a smirk "I mean, we can't go out either way..."

"...will it involve tying me up?" Rick asked as he raised his eyebrow.

"If you want to..." Negan answered but he knew the answer already. It was turning them both on to be tying Rick's hands.

Rick shook his head in agreement and stood up.

"Strip for me" Negan ordered as he kept his eyes on Rick who started taking his clothes off slowly.

When he was naked in front of him, Negan got the piece of rope to tie up his hands.

Rick stood still as Negan made sure that he couldn't get out of the tie. Their eyes met and Rick blushed a bit.

"Tell me..." Negan demanded as he touched Rick's chin.

"I..." Rick said hesitantly "want to get punished for what happened this morning...with the Walker"

Negan's dominant self took over and nodded.

"I agree" he answered "you were very reckless indeed"

"Yes, Sir..." Rick mumbled, "I was..."

"We should do something about this" Negan told him "can't be saving you every single time after all"

Gave Rick's cock one stroke and Rick let out a sound of pleasure but Negan removed his hand from him almost as fast as he'd touched him.

"This is punishment Rick," Negan said, "not pleasure..."

Looking at Rick though, he knew already that he would be giving in and letting him enjoy it as soon as he was done with the "punishment".

Chapter Text

Negan released Rick after spending an hour "punishing" him for the incident with the Walker. Couldn't find it in him to be harsh on the younger man.

Had given him some hits to his ass cheeks with his palm again but didn't want to be spanking Rick hard or causing him real pain. To be honest was just relieved that he had saved Rick in time.

Didn't feel like punishing him seriously and would repeat saving him in an instant if Rick's life was in danger again. Had let him cum also as he felt bad leaving Rick unsatisfied.

Felt like a very jerky thing to do to be using Rick for his pleasure. Rick hadn't complained even once though and he let him do whatever he wanted.

Untied Rick's hands and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

"Are you ok?" Negan asked with concern "tried to not be rough with you"

"You weren't" Rick replied as Negan hadn't caused him pain "was very gentle with me even if it was a punishment..."

"Yeah, punishment for not becoming Walker's lunch," Negan said with a tone of sarcasm.

Rick rolled his eyes at that and let out a small chuckle.

"Aren't you tired of saving me?" Rick asked as he bit his bottom lip in hesitation.

"Of course not, you prick" Negan answered immediately "if I don't protect the most important person in my life, then I'm gonna be a pretty shitty husband and I've already been a shitty husband to both Lucille and my wives...want to be different with you"

"It's not your fault that I'm a danger magnet..." Rick said with a sigh.

Negan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.

"If you are a danger magnet, then I'm gonna be right by your side to protect you" Negan promised as he looked down and saw that Rick had some red marks from the rope.

He took his wrists to his hands and begun massaging them to relieve some of the soreness that Rick undoubtedly had.

"The rope is hurting you..." Negan told him as it wasn't ideal and would be for the best to stop using it in their make-out sessions.

Rick needed something soft and harmless to be tying him up with which of course didn't exist out there.

"It's ok" Rick answered but he enjoyed the feeling of Negan massaging him.

Negan sighed and touched Rick's cheek as their eyes met.

"Let's lay down to sleep..." he suggested "it's gotten late"

Looked outside and there was still snow falling that was barely noticeable in the darkness.

Rick nodded as Negan helped him to his sleeping bag and did the same beside him.

Shifted his body to look at him and they kissed one more time.

"You won't be a shitty husband, I know that you won't..." Rick said to him gently. "and I haven't regretted it"

"Thank you, Rick" Negan answered emotionally "means a lot to me"

Chapter Text

Two weeks later

"Are we good to go?" Rick asked as they had gathered up their few things. The snow had finally melted away and they could continue their journey to the unknown.

In a way, he felt bad that they would be leaving the safety that this place had offered them but if they ever wanted to return home, they had to keep moving.

"Yeah..." Negan answered as he had taken upon him to carry the food and water as Rick would be carrying their sleeping bags.

Closed the door behind them and stared at the lake one more time.

"Let's go, Rick," Negan said to him as he held his hand in his.

"I am gonna miss it here" Rick confessed as they got back to the main road "it's been home far from home in a way..."

"Know what you mean" Negan replied "gonna miss it too but who knows, it can become our getaway place when we finally get back to our real homes"

"There, you proposed to me," Rick said with a smile "can't believe that it's been almost three weeks since we got engaged"

"Could have been longer if I had the guts to ask you at the Sanctuary..." Negan answered with a slight embarrassment.

"Well, better late than ever," Rick told him as he smirked "I could have declined back then so I am glad that you waited"

"Can't wait to get married to you, Mr. Grimes" Negan said lovingly as they kept walking.

"You owe me a honeymoon trip after the wedding, you know" Rick teased him as he gave Negan a light poke.

"Do you prefer Paris, Italy...?" Negan joked back although he wished he could take Rick somewhere like that. "Will find a place, don't worry. It may not be Paris but will try to make it even better than that. Plus having sex with you as a married couple" he added suggestively.

"That will be a big perk..." Rick replied teasingly as he wanted them to do this on their beds again. The sleeping bags weren't meant for such things after all.

"Exactly" Negan agreed "let's just hope we will get somewhere that is recognizable so that we can find our way back"

"He drove when he kidnapped us so if we keep going on the main road, I believe that we will manage it," Rick told him and Negan nodded in agreement.

"Gonna cook for you when we eventually go back" Negan announced "a big portion to enjoy it"

Rick smiled at how much Negan cared for him.

"Spaghetti?" he asked as he knew that it was Negan's favorite. He liked it a lot too though either way. It tasted really good despite being considered something simple.

"You know me..." Negan said with a grin.

"I do" Rick answered as he gave him one quick kiss on the cheek.

Chapter Text

"Still nowhere..." Rick said. He dropped himself to the road as his legs were aching.

Negan sat down beside him and wished he could find the right words to comfort him. He was feeling equally frustrated as Rick though.

"Don't know what we will do, Rick. I truly don't want to be losing hope but things don't look good" he told him in frustration.

Rick rested his head on his shoulder and felt anxiety inside of him. Was very afraid of what could happen to them out there. Staying put though wasn't a solution either.

Suddenly they heard steps behind them and they both stood up abruptly as Negan got his knife out, ready to defend himself and Rick.

They froze when they saw who was standing there.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Negan demanded to know as there, in the middle of nowhere, was Jadis. She had a cut right above her left eyebrow and her face was dirty.

Negan moved in front of Rick instinctively, to protect him from her.

"Simon," she said with disgust on her face "he slaughtered my people and kidnapped me. Some days ago"

Negan looked at Rick who was still behind him. They exchanged a glare and Negan turned his attention back to Jadis.

"What do you want now? Our pity?" he asked her aggressively "Simon kidnapped us as well. We are trying to get home"

"From you?" Jadis scoffed "nothing. I was walking back to my shelter"

"Go your own way then, Jadis," Rick said as he finally found his voice.

Jadis's eyes snapped at him and seemed interested.

"I see that you're mouthy for a prisoner" she commented "What happened Negan? Did you fall for his blue eyes?"

Negan moved forward and grabbed her by the shirt.

"If you dare to insult him again, I'll rip your head off" he growled, "don't need Lucille to do so!"

Rick grabbed him by the arm.

"Let her go Negan. It's not worth it..." he pleaded.

Negan let her go but he was still very angry.

"What I do with Rick is none of your business. You caught him, handed him to me, end of the story. Although I would like to beat you up for what you did to him. Don't usually hit ladies but might make an exception..." he threatened.

"If I had kept him, he would be locked up in a container with his hands cuffed" Jadis shot back at Negan.

"He's mine and only I get to choose what I do with him, not you" Negan spat out as he had turned red by now. "You have no saying in the matter"

"You seem lost to me" Jadis commented, not faced by Negan's anger "I am as well but at least with a shelter"

"Go to your merry-fucking way then. Don't wish to be seeing your face anymore" Negan answered.

"Just so you know there are no other shelters around and it will be turning dark soon," she said with a shrug.

Negan gave her a calculating glare as he couldn't understand what the hell she wanted from them.

"You could stay with me" she announced eventually. "For tonight"

"Have to be kidding me" Negan let out a humorless chuckle.

"Not at all actually" she replied.

Negan's eyes met Rick's who had blushed with everything that Jadis had said about him like he wasn't a person with actual feelings. Didn't know if they had another choice though.

"Have rope even...to tie him up" she said as she looked at Rick "might run away if you're letting him like that"

"Don't need your suggestions Jadis" Negan snapped at her "fine, we will stay with you. Only for tonight. If you dare to even lay a hand on Rick though, I'll be cutting it" he added threateningly.

Chapter Text

Turned out that Jadis had been staying at a barn, like the one they had found before the survival hut by the lake. Negan didn't leave Rick's side not even for a second because he was afraid for his safety.

Jadis closed the door as they entered and silence fell amongst them.

"You can have this side," she said at last as she moved to the left one herself. There was a big space between them now.

Negan helped Rick put their things down and set their sleeping bags. Placed his on the outside and Rick's on the inside, against the wall, as it felt much safer that way for Rick. Jadis was crazy, who knows what she could be doing to Rick again.

They sat down and Negan ignored Jadis as he turned his attention on Rick.

"Don't worry about anything" he whispered to him even though he was worried himself "I'm here"

Rick nodded hesitantly as Negan squeezed his hand for comfort, avoiding Jadis from seeing his affection towards Rick. It was better to let her think that Rick was still his prisoner.

"Have rope if you want to..." Jadis commented as she showed it to him from her side of the room.

Negan narrowed his eyes on her.

"No need, thanks," he said in annoyance. "I know how to keep my prisoners without all this crap that you are using"

"Fine" she replied with a shrug of her shoulders "if you find him gone, I won't be to blame..."

Negan ignored her and got two soups so that they could eat with Rick. Wouldn't be wasting their precious food on Jadis, although it seemed that she had some supplies as well.

They ate in silence as Jadis kept looking at them.

"Thought that you put Simon do this at first," she said eventually.

"As you can see, I didn't" Negan answered with cold indifference.

"This means nothing," she said "Still kidnapped us and left out here to die"

"Not to appear cold-hearted about your problems or anything..." Negan answered coldly "but don't give a damn about them in reality"

Jadis was bringing out a part of him that was far from gentle as he was with Rick.

Talking about Rick, he was very quiet and kept to himself as he ate his soup. Knew that they were forced to stay with her since there wasn't another place for the night, but most surely didn't like it.

Could get Negan's frustrations as well. They exchanged one more glare and wished that tomorrow they could be alone again.

Both he and Rick laid in their sleeping bags after they ate. Rick faced the wall and Negan did the same beside him. Wrapped his arm around Rick's waist and held him close to his body now that it was dark.

Rick linked their fingers together and let out a small sigh. Wished that morning would come soon so that they wouldn't have to suffer from Jadis anymore.

Chapter Text

It was late at night when Negan felt Rick tossing and turning beside him. Woke up and saw that the younger man was covered in sweat as he was having a nightmare.

"Rick" he whispered to him as he shook Rick's arm lightly.

Rick opened his eyes and was breathing heavily. He sighed when he got that it was just bad dreams.

"Sorry for waking you up" he apologized to Negan who laid back down and stared at him.

"You had stopped having nightmares while we were alone. She disturbed you..." Negan said with anger at what Jadis had been telling them earlier.

Rick sighed as he didn't want Negan to worry about him.

"I am ok," he said in a low tone "we will leave tomorrow and be together again"

Negan leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

"I love you so much. Don't be influenced by what she is saying, has nothing on you anymore. I am here to be keeping you safe..."

"Saw that...I was taken somewhere far away" Rick sobbed "away from you, away from my family...and there was nothing I could do to stop it"

Negan froze as he hated seeing Rick suffering like that.

"It was just a nightmare" he tried to comfort him "we have a wedding you and I. The kids need you. You're not gonna get taken away from us"

Rick felt some tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I don't want to lose you..." he choked out.

"You won't Rick. I'm right here" Negan insisted gently "gonna take you home, as I said, and make you spaghetti"

Rick wiped his tears and nodded slowly.

"I've been through a lot..." he resulted with a deep sigh.

"You have," Negan said to him with understanding "but you're not on your own this time. We just fell to her need now"

"Yeah..." Rick replied with a pout. Kissed Negan and rested his head on his shoulder.

"She can shove tying you up where she knows..." Negan growled lowly. "Didn't get the memo that you're mine apparently..."

"Only you get to tie me up" Rick mumbled at him as he knew how possessive Negan was of him.

"Exactly," Negan said with a smirk "no one else can have my Grimes. Sleep now, you prick...It's gotten late. Don't want you to be losing it for Jadis, it's not worth it"

Rick kissed him again passionately and Negan chuckled softly.

"Gonna dream of you instead," Rick said to him with a grin.

"Doing naughty or not naughty things?" Negan asked curiously.

"Think...naughty ones" Rick replied and Negan smiled at him as they kissed one more time for goodnight.

Felt Negan spooning him as they both fell asleep again.

Chapter Text

Rick felt the morning breeze on his face. As soon as Negan would wake up, he wanted them to be leaving. Preferred it when they were just the two of them than with Jadis.

"How come you're not running away?" Jadis commented behind his back as if on cue.

Rick turned to face her and kept a safe distance between them.

"My place is where Negan is," he said to her as he crossed his arms above his chest "That was the whole point of you giving me to him right?"

"I regret doing so" Jadis answered "Should have kept you for me"

"Sorry, too late" Rick replied with a tightness to his face. "If you even approach me, you know that he's gonna react rather violently"

Jadis ignored his words and moved closer to Rick.

"Negan will not always be around to protect you" she commented coldly "You think that capturing people is unusual during the Apocalypse? It's pretty common. Both for personal use and trade"

"Don't care Jadis what sick things you're doing" Rick said with anger.

"What is going on here?" Negan demanded to know as he appeared from the barn's entrance.

"She is telling me that enslaving people is not "unusual," Rick told him and saw Negan's expression as it became cold.

"Go pack up Rick," Negan said to him "We are leaving. Want to have a small chat with Jadis"

Rick nodded and moved past Jadis in a hurry to collect their things.

"Didn't I specifically tell you to not come near him?" he asked aggressively.

"I should have left you out there, that's all I know" Jadis spat out "You enjoyed it very much when I handed him to you after all"

"Go to hell Jadis," Negan said as these were the same words that Rick had told him back then "we are leaving and hopefully we will never see each other again"

"Good" Jadis answered "better that way to have my place again"

Negan ignored her and walked inside to go help Rick. Couldn't believe the audacity of that woman.

Chapter Text

"I would say that I'd miss you, but I won't," Negan said to Jadis sharply as they had packed up with Rick and were ready to leave "Hope that we never cross paths again. For your sake at least. To not see you anywhere near Alexandria or the Sanctuary, if you make it back that is"

Jadis let out a scoff and stood up to close the door behind them.

"Should have never let you in here" she replied and Negan took Rick by the hand to get going. Had enough of her.

Rick looked at Jadis over his shoulder and saw her staring at him not in a good way. He swallowed dryly but followed Negan as he led him away.

When they were far enough, Negan stopped and turned to face him.

"Sorry for having to hear her saying these things" he apologized sincerely. "Should have searched for somewhere else to stay. Anywhere would be better than with her. Even when stranded, she is insufferable..."

Rick sighed and wrapped his arms around Negan for a hug.

"At least we are both safe and got away from her. She talks about humans like they mean nothing like they're objects to use and sell..."

"She can't hurt you again," Negan said to him as he kissed Rick on the cheek "it was the best decision to get away from her"

"Yeah..." Rick nodded as he looked at the grey road. It seemed endless to him. "I am tired Negan..." he admitted.

Negan felt his eyes stinging and could get where Rick was coming from. It was tiring to keep walking and finding no clue as to where they were or how far from home.

"I am too but what else can we do?" he asked as their eyes met.

"I..." Rick drawled "want us to find a shelter and just stay there for the rest of the day. We keep walking tomorrow. Want some time of just not doing anything. Can we?"

Negan hesitated a bit but got Rick's need.

"Of course," he said gently "you can't keep going after all that disturbance. Better calm you down and we continue tomorrow"

"Thank you," Rick said as Negan could be pressuring him to keep going but did the opposite of that instead and treated him with understanding.

"No problem" Negan replied to Rick and offered him a small smile. Felt good to be alone with his guy again.

Chapter Text

After twenty minutes of walking, they found a tiny wooden cabin. Negan was alert for walkers but there were none. Also, it was relatively clean despite being empty, since it had remained closed. It would be perfect to stay there and rest. Helped Rick with their things and they could relax at last.

"We are gonna explore the whole countryside before reaching our homes..." Negan commented and Rick rolled his eyes but nodded.

"Yeah, that's true" he agreed "better here than with Jadis though..."

Negan sighed as he knew that Rick had been upset with all that she'd said.

"Forget her, Rick," Negan said to him "won't even be able to make it back on her own, so don't worry"

"I know, it's that I can't help but think that she's done that to others as well..." Rick answered hesitantly.

"Wouldn't surprise me if there are people out there who are doing all that" Negan replied with a frown "there are many sick individuals. Like myself...for what I did to Glenn and Abraham or you..."

"You know that for me, I've forgiven you for a long time now," Rick said as he made their eyes meet "as for Glenn and Abraham...don't think that I can ever forget it but I get it, somehow...we were the enemy. Plus we slaughtered our people first based on rumors..."

"I am sorry" Negan mumbled sincerely "I wish I could take it back..."

"Me too..." Rick admitted "many things. But we can't...just have to live with them"

Negan nodded slowly and moved closer to Rick.

"Will try my best to not fail you again" he promised.

Rick leaned in for a hug and nodded.

"I know, you asshole..." Rick told him as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder. "So fluffy" he added lovingly.

Negan let out a soft chuckle at that.

"So I'm not made of stone?" he asked teasingly.

"No," Rick said stubbornly "you are the right amount of fluffy, so huggable..."

"Only you get to tell me these things" Negan answered with a smirk. "But I love them either way"

"More than getting me to suck you off?" Rick asked as he raised his eyebrows and it was Negan's turn to roll his eyes.

"I know that you hated me so much when I did that," he said with a sigh "despite not admitting it"

"Why are you saying that?" Rick replied in a sarcastic tone "always had a dream of sucking off my captor or getting a hard spanking..."

Negan blushed and had the decency to look guilty. He took Rick for another hug as an apology and Rick accepted it.

"You do like lighter hits though, right?" Negan asked as if Rick didn't like them, he wouldn't be repeating them.

Rick rolled his eyes again but nodded.

"I do like light hits. Not this thing that I couldn't feel my ass from the soreness..."

"Yeah..." Negan said apologetically "that was too rough. Ok, so light hits it is"

"Right," Rick said with a small grin "your mind is always on these things, I see..."

"Well, can't help it when I'm with such a hot guy like you" he replied with a smile.

"That we are stranded does it cross your mind as well or not?" Rick asked as he gave Negan a small poke.

"Oh yeah..." Negan said teasingly "that as well..."

Rick laughed and couldn't help but smile at Negan.

"What did you dream of after all last night?" Negan asked gently "except getting taken away which is not gonna happen with me here"

Rick swallowed hard as he remembered his nightmare but tried to shake off his fear.

"You and I, well, you know..." he said instead suggestively.

"Sounds like a good dream to me" Negan answered as he smirked. "Prefer you to be seeing these kinds of dreams instead of abductions etc. Everyone back home would kill me if you were to get taken, right?"

"Right..." Rick mumbled and averted his eyes. Didn't want Negan to see his anxiety.

"No one is taking my Grimes from me," Negan said gently as he touched Rick's cheek.

Rick tried to recover and put on a smirk instead.

"You only care to not lose your husband to be?" he asked teasingly.

Negan pouted but could get that Rick was joking.

"You're the asshole, I believe, not me," he said with a groan "I don't want to lose 𝙮𝙤𝙪, first and foremost. Plus getting to make you my man, would be great as well..."

Rick got on top of him as he made Negan lay on his sleeping bag.

Negan stayed still and looked into Rick's blue eyes. Before he knew it, Rick was kissing his lips.

"I am not going anywhere," Rick told him in between their kisses and Negan felt a warmth inside of him.

Chapter Text

New chapters may be delayed due to being sick at the moment...Hope to be better soon and to get to write more of the story

Chapter Text

"Did you have a thing with Michonne?" Negan asked out of a sudden. "Had noticed some behaviors when I was coming by and later on when we visited Alexandria to see the kids..."

"What kind of thing?" Rick questioned as he couldn't understand why Negan was asking about Michonne now.

"It's just a question, not that hard to answer..." Negan said as their eyes met.

"Fine...we had kissed some times but never been in a relationship. I am just thankful that she has become like the mother of both Carl and Judith while I was...gone" Rick told him hesitantly.

Negan couldn't help but feel irritation that Michonne had gotten a taste of Rick. Tried to keep it to himself though.

"Right..." he answered instead.

"Should have expected it that you'd be so jealous..." Rick said to him like it was forbidden to have other relationships before Negan.

"I'm not jealous...do you see me being jealous?" Negan asked although he wasn't convincing enough.

"If I wanted Michonne so much, why would I ever agree to marry you?" Rick asked as he crossed his arms above his chest.

Negan pouted but didn't have an answer.

"Are you gonna be mad at me for kissing Michonne now?" Rick questioned as he couldn't understand Negan's behavior and it was quite insulting as well.

"I won't" he answered but knew that it was a lie "it's just that I hate sharing you. If you are saying that you didn't do anything else though..."

"We didn't...I am yours, you know that already" Rick said, "that we kissed some times when you and I were still arch-enemies, doesn't change that".

"Could have told me about it though" Negan complained "instead of discovering it on my own..."

"Discovering what thing?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand "there is nothing between us, except being good friends"

"She seemed pretty eager for you to be let go though," Negan said defensively. "Maybe so that she could have you again all to herself..."

Rick felt hurt inside of him at Negan's accusations.

"When you stop being an asshole, then you will see how ridiculous you sound right now" Rick answered as his blue eyes turned cold.

"Oh, I'm being ridiculous?" Negan demanded as he stood up from his sleeping bag "you might fall to her hug, don't know...-"

Rick felt tears filling up his eyes and slapped Negan on the cheek who winced at the sudden pain.

Put on his jacket again and got out of the cabin before Negan could stop him, slamming the door upon exiting.

"Rick!" Negan yelped as he reopened the door and saw Rick walking away.

The younger man ignored him and kept walking. Negan rested his head against the door as his cheek was hurting.

Had deserved it though. Knew very well that he was still way too possessive of Rick and it wasn't the time to be bringing up these things. Why was he so afraid that Rick would cheat on him with Michonne?

Well, because she was fearsome, independent, a good person as well as many other things that Negan was not. Should catch up with Rick and persuade him that he didn't mean all that he'd said. It was dangerous being alone out there and especially when it was turning dark outside.

Got the knife with him and started walking fast towards the direction that Rick had gone to.

"Rick, Rick?" Negan yelled as he wasn't seeing him anywhere.

It was now dark and still wasn't able to find him.

"Rick I'm sorry," Negan said out loud as fear was filling him up. Just wanted him safe. "Please come out" he begged.

Rick was hiding behind a tree and was crying quietly. Heard Negan's voice but he couldn't find it in him to move from his spot. Wrapped his arms around his legs as he curled on himself. Knew that Negan was worried but he couldn't be the only one suffering every single time.

Should get how it felt for once.

Chapter Text

Negan had been looking for Rick but he eventually got that the younger man didn't want to be found. Couldn't have gone far away after all. He returned to the cabin as there was nothing more he could do and sat outside as regrets filled him up.

Was it possible that he had taken it too far and Rick would leave him?

Didn't have anything with him though, not even supplies or his sleeping bag. Negan would feel terrible if he'd made Rick sleep out there with his behavior.

Before he could think anything else though, he saw Rick walking slowly towards the cabin. Had been crying which caused a terrible pang of guilt inside of Negan.

"Didn't come back for you" Rick mumbled and averted from looking Negan in the eyes "just didn't have the sleeping bag with me..."

Negan nodded hesitantly and Rick walked inside. Followed after him and saw Rick rearranging his sleeping bag, to be far away from his.

He sighed as he hated this. Knew that he was being punished though for what he'd said.

"Please Rick" Negan begged "talk to me. Even tell me to go to hell again..."

"What to tell you?" Rick asked as his eyes narrowed on him. "You're acting like I'm still your prisoner and we are just having sex with my consent now, instead of being forced to do so..."

Negan swallowed dryly as he knew that Rick was right. Was about to say something but before he could do so, Rick had laid in his sleeping bag and turned his back on him.

It was late at night, too late in fact and Negan was tossing and turning in his sleeping bag. Rick seemed to be sleeping. Away from him. Had grown so used to having Rick beside him that he simply couldn't relax enough to sleep. Stood up from his sleeping bag and walked slowly towards Rick.

Knelt on one knee and hesitated. Rick would most likely be mad if he woke him up but he wanted them to talk.

"Rick" he whispered as he shook Rick by the arm.

Rick had been sleeping very lightly due to being upset but stayed stubbornly with his back turned on Negan. Didn't seem to bother the older man though as he simply changed side and knelt again.

"What do you want from me?" Rick asked in exasperation.

"To talk" Negan answered "and it can't wait"

"You just don't want me to abandon you..." Rick answered bitterly.

"I am sorry" Negan sobbed out "I'm terribly sorry..."

Rick sat up and didn't know what to say. He didn't actually want to leave Negan alone but he had hurt him with his words once again.

"I've said that we didn't have anything more and yet you kept accusing me," Rick told him in frustration. "Feel like you still have me imprisoned at times..."

"Can't live without you, Rick" Negan said as tears rolled down his cheeks "I'm like an empty shell. I won't be saying this crap again..."

Rick cried as well and wrapped his arms around Negan as they hugged.

"Love you despite being such an asshole to me..." Rick mumbled at him and Negan held him tightly like he was afraid that Rick would disappear somehow.

"I am," Negan said apologetically "can't help it but I'll try..."

"Bring your sleeping bag here now" Rick replied as their eyes met "since you woke me up at that hour, the least you can do is to be keeping me warm"

Negan smiled a bit at that peace offering and nodded eagerly. He brought his sleeping bag right next to Rick's and wrapped his arm around him.

"Sorry for waking you up..." Negan apologized as he kept Rick close to him.

Rick sighed and looked at him. "Not like I was sleeping for real. A certain someone named Negan made sure of it..."

"Do you still want me after all that I've said...?" Negan asked hesitantly.

"I knew what I was getting myself into" Rick replied as he glared at Negan "you're making it more hard at times but yeah, despite it all, I want you because you are in a state of refusal to see that I love you. Not Michonne or whoever else, but you"

"I love you as well," Negan said sincerely "although knowing there are much better options for you..."

"Fewer assholes, yes," Rick told him "but none of them are you..."

Chapter Text

Negan woke up and was glad to see that Rick hadn't packed up after all to abandon him. Was still beside him, sleeping calmly. Leaned in and kissed Rick on the cheek.

Rick blinked his eyes and stared at him sleepily.

"Hmm..." he drawled "Do I get your affection again? After getting mad at me over nothing in particular..."

Negan blushed in embarrassment but nodded.

"You're the cutest in the morning, just when you wake up," he said lovingly and Rick rolled his eyes.

"Good to hear it" Rick answered with a tone of sarcasm "later on, you usually annoy the hell out of me..."

Negan pouted but felt that most of the coldness between them had melted away.

Rick stretched his arms and looked outside. It was raining so that meant that they couldn't get moving today either.

"One would think that you are controlling the weather as well" Rick commented and poked him teasingly.

"Can't be walking in the rain, Rick..." Negan said with a small smirk "What if we slip and fall? It's too risky..."

"I can walk just fine in the rain" Rick answered and faked starting to get up from his sleeping bag. Laughed when he saw Negan's saddened expression. That asshole.

Laid back down again and hugged Negan.

"Didn't relax much after all but at least we established that I wasn't cheating on you when we weren't even together and hated each other" Rick drawled.

"Were you hiding yesterday, in the woods?" Negan asked hesitantly.

"I was and heard you calling for me...thought to let you suffer a bit though" Rick answered as their eyes met "but lucky for you...I don't enjoy seeing you miserable for long so that's why I came back"

"Slapped me pretty hard..." Negan said and his one cheek was still a tone redder than the other.

Rick leaned in and kissed it. "Better?" he asked "although...you did deserve it"

"I did" Negan agreed and smiled at Rick. "Feels much better now"

"What will I do with you, huh?" Rick asked as he raised his eyebrow.

"I know something we can do" Negan suggested and Rick rolled his eyes.

"I am not completely Negan-friendly yet, so yeah, don't think that you deserve it," Rick said and Negan pouted.

"If I said "please"?" Negan whined. "Come on Rick..."

"Tell me that you have the most patient, handsome, badass, and awesome husband to be first and I may consider it," Rick told him jokingly.

"I have the most patient, handsome, badass, and awesome husband to be," Negan said immediately and meant it.

Rick smiled at that and gave Negan one more kiss.

"Let's just cuddle for a bit," he told Negan "we can do the other thing when I'm even more Negan-friendly..."

Negan nodded and they stayed together, listening to the sound of the rain as it had gotten heavier outside.

"Another day of not being able to keep walking..." Rick mumbled as, despite their banter with Negan, they were very influenced by what weather it was having each day. That caused even more delays to their journey back.

"I know," Negan said with a sigh "we can't though since we'll get sick again, most likely. At least we are healthy and protected now"

"Plus, being stuck with you..." Rick told Negan, teasing him a bit.

"That sucks" Negan replied "but then again, I'm a good warmer"

"You are so that makes being stuck with you more sufferable..." Rick said to Negan as he smirked.

"Couldn't sleep without you" Negan admitted as he bit his bottom lip.

"Me neither..." Rick said hesitantly "turns out that the Stockholm Syndrome has set in for good..."

"Seems so" Negan answered "feel empty without you next to me..."

"I'm here now" Rick promised as their eyes met "don't want my future husband to be suffering after all..."

"Your future husband should get it together," Negan said as he knew that he just had to "I'm terrified of you leaving me, but know that it's unfair...shouldn't be pressured. You never should have been"

"I am not going anywhere," Rick said to him gently "all I need is for us to go back home and getting married to you at last"

Negan nodded and gave Rick a loving squeeze.

Chapter Text

"I should tell you something..." Rick drawled hesitantly, but he did want to share it with Negan.

"What thing?" Negan asked as their eyes met "That you are in love with Michonne?"

Rick growled lowly and shook his head negatively.

"No, it's not that," he said to him decisively. "It's about Judith. You know that I've been keeping her hidden from you at first...-"

"Which hurt my feelings by the way..." Negan interfered as he didn't have a clue about Rick's adorable baby girl before finding her on his own.

"I am leaving..." Rick threatened at Negan's interruption but he stayed next to Negan despite his words.

"Fine, I shut up" Negan promised.

"As I was saying..." Rick sighed "Well...Judith is not my biological child"

Negan's eyes widened at that as he didn't expect that.

"Who is her father...?" he asked Rick.

"A work partner and... a best friend of mine, of back when I was a Sheriff's Deputy, Shane. He was with my wife Lori and Carl when I was presumed dead. They had a relationship during my absence. When I was reunited with them, I eventually found out she was pregnant with Judith. Knew inside of me that this baby wasn't mine and it hurt me like hell but what to do...Shane got violent though and was a danger to us all. Had to kill him. Lori died giving birth to Judith and I was left with the responsibility of keeping this baby safe...no matter what"

"I...didn't know, Rick" Negan apologized "I'm sorry that you had to go through all that..."

"It was hard..." Rick said "you know now though and how I feel about cheating. Do you think that I would do that to you? When knowing first hand how much it hurts?"

Negan wrapped his arm around him as he shook his head negatively.

"No, you wouldn't. I already knew it inside of me when I started accusing you like that. But raising someone else's kid, that takes a lot to do"

"I know that I'm not her real Dad, but love her as my kid. That's why I have to go back to them. Can't lose their Dad as well"

"No matter what lies Simon has said, they 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 have you back in their lives. I'll make sure of it. Tomorrow I promise that we will start walking again if it stops raining" Negan said because they couldn't continue taking their time. Needed to speed things up as much as possible.

"Yeah..." Rick mumbled as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder "now you know that as well"

"The little serial killer is definitely your son though," Negan said after some moments of silence which caused Rick to chuckle.

"He is," Rick said with pride "only my son could go against you like that"

Negan smirked but he totally agreed. The kid was a badass, just like his father.

"Can we have a make-out session?" he asked with hope and Rick rolled his eyes in response.

"Think you deserve it?" he asked teasingly.

"I just want you," Negan said hesitantly "don't know if I deserve it, probably not, after being such a dick..."

Rick acted like he was thinking about it but he did want Negan as well.

"Ok, you can have me" he agreed with a smile.

Negan got on top of Rick as their eyes met. He loved Rick's blue eyes, looking at him like that.

He hesitated a bit but kissed Rick on the lips as the younger man responded to it.

"I love you, Rick Grimes..." Negan promised him gently.

Rick smiled at that and nodded.

"Love you too...despite being an ass" he replied as he got rid of the clothes for Negan.

Had some days already of Negan not touching him like that and had missed it.

Negan smirked and his lips were on his again kissing him passionately.

"God Rick..." Negan let out "so hot baby...feel honored that I'm the one who's getting to kiss you"

"See..." Rick drawled as he rolled his eyes "so don't be getting mad at Michonne"

"She still had a taste though," Negan said with a slight annoyance and possessiveness. "Have to show you that you're mine, hmm?"

Rick nodded breathlessly as Negan started fingering him.

"You do," Rick said as he let out sounds of pleasure. Negan knew very well how to make him feel good.

"Have to get punished when misbehaving like that" Negan replied and Rick felt himself getting hard. It was turning him on when Negan was acting dominantly.

Helped Rick on his hands and knees as he kept fingering him.

"You don't get to cum until I say so, alright?" Negan asked as he toyed with Rick's tight hole.

"Hmm..." Rick replied at the sensation "yes Sir..."

Negan hit him with his palm on his left ass cheek and Rick struggled a bit to keep still. It was a lot to ask when Negan kept his fingers inside of him as well.

"You are very well behaved usually" Negan continued "so I'll let this wrongdoing of yours pass...you kissing Michonne..."

Rick rolled his eyes at Negan's obsession with Michonne but nodded. "I won't be repeating it, Sir" he promised.

"Good boy" Negan praised him as he entered Rick slowly. They both moaned at the feeling and Rick barely controlled himself. Was aching for a release but knew that Negan wanted him on the edge again.

Moved in and out of him, causing Rick to let out sounds of pleasure.

Negan kissed his neck as Rick had rested his head on the sleeping bag to give Negan better access to him.

"Cum for me" Negan demanded from him as he could see that Rick was barely keeping it together anymore.

They moaned as they came together. Were sweaty after such intense making-out but had both loved it.

Negan stayed inside of him for a bit as Rick was trying to catch his breath again.

"All mine..." Negan said to Rick in a possessive tone and Rick nodded in agreement.

Chapter Text

Rick rested his head on Negan's thigh as they were sitting at the entrance of the cabin. The sun was slowly setting on the horizon and it had a soft rain now.

He looked up at Negan and smiled at him.

"Remember when we were like that at the museum?" he asked.

Negan stroked his hair gently and nodded.

"Of course I do. After releasing you from that cell that I've put you in..." Negan said with regrets.

"I was thinking of running away from you," Rick said as he was in a tight position back then.

"Yeah, I know..." Negan answered "if you had then, you would have stayed away from David and maybe wouldn't have to suffer or getting kidnapped by Simon now. He just wanted my place, to be giving the shots. Should have kept you out of this and let you go home"

"You think that I'd have accepted this?" Rick asked as they both knew the answer already "I'd have tried to fight and bring you back. He knows that I'm a threat as well, that's why he tried to get rid of the both of us"

"Rick," Negan said as he could see that Rick was willing to go against Simon "I know that you're more than capable of fighting but when the time comes, I'll be the one to deal with Simon. He is very dangerous if he orchestrated all that. Won't be putting you at risk once again"

Rick was about to protest but saw that Negan was serious. He swallowed hard but nodded. Of course, he wasn't planning on leaving Negan all alone. He just didn't have to know that or arguing with him.

"Are you done with interrogating me about Michonne?" Rick asked as he was a bit worried that he would be bringing it up again, either on their make-outs or in general.

"I am" Negan promised with a smirk "just needed an excuse to punish you for something"

Rick rolled his eyes and stared up at Negan.

"You have to be more creative, I guess..." he said teasingly.

"When we'll get back home, I'll be very creative," Negan said suggestively and Rick chuckled.

"Can't wait" he answered and smiled at Negan.

He took in a deep breath and it was very relaxing to smell the wet soil alongside the sound of rain.

Before he knew it, he closed his eyes and fell asleep with his head resting on Negan's leg. He rarely let his guard down while outside but he felt safe with Negan there.

Felt like hours later when Negan shook him gently by the arm to wake him up. Blinked his eyes and it had turned to dark now. Negan must have gotten sore from having him laying like that for so long but let him sleep instead.

"You should lay on your sleeping bag," Negan said to him in a low voice. "It has a cold breeze as well, don't want you to get sick..."

Rick nodded as he couldn't keep sleeping out there.

Negan helped him stand up and they walked inside. They got rid of their not so cleaned clothes anymore and laid down on the sleeping bags.

Rick wrapped his arm around Negan like they always did and felt himself getting warmed up.

"Goodnight Negan" he mumbled sleepily.

Negan leaned in for a kiss on the cheek and laid back down again.

"Goodnight Grimes," he said gently.

Chapter Text

"Finally, houses!" Negan said with excitement as for the very first time they had reached what appeared to be a small town. "We will find a clue as to where we are Rick and go back"

Rick smiled at him as he knew that Negan was right. There had to be something that would indicate where they were.

"Let's hope that we will discover something" Rick agreed as they continued walking together.

Negan held his hand for protection as he kept the knife tight. Despite his happiness of finding signs of civilization again, they couldn't allow themselves to relax. There could be dangers in this seemingly quiet town.

They kept walking and looked at the houses that were all abandoned. Suddenly Rick stopped in his tracks as he noticed a black car and it wasn't old or broken down.

"Negan, our chance to go home!" Rick told him as he started running towards it.

"Rick, come back" Negan urged him as he was worried for Rick's safety.

Hurried beside him and they got by the car. Rick looked through the window and saw that the keys were in the engine. If it had gas as well, they were ready to go.

"I have to try it out," Rick said as he opened the door on the driver's side.

"Rick...-" Negan answered anxiously as he didn't think that things were as easy. Before he could say anything though, someone shot a warning bullet in the air.

Both Rick and Negan froze at that. Negan felt someone punching him hard to the face and fell to the ground.

"Negan!" Rick yelped as he got out of the car.

Looked up and saw a guy in his thirties with dreadlocks and a young woman with medium-sized hair that was holding a gun.

"What the...-" Rick started as Negan gasped beside him. Stared at their attackers as well and his eyes widened.

"Sherry?" Negan let out as the woman kept them at gunpoint.

The guy with the dreadlocks glared at the woman who had tears in her eyes now.

"Our paths meet again Negan, well look at that, huh?" she said coldly as she continued pointing the gun at them.

"Sherry as in Dwight's wife?" Rick asked as he knew that Sherry had run away after letting Daryl out of the cell that Negan had put him in.

Negan nodded in pain but Sherry and the other guy were not looking at him with pity.

"The car is mine" Sherry announced "and you wanted to steal it"

She motioned to the guy and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Before Negan could fight back, he had put them on.

"We have to talk," she said to them "...and we will" added threateningly.

Chapter Text

"Where is Negan?" Rick demanded to know as they had been separated and took Negan somewhere upstairs. He couldn't understand what was going on. Didn't know Sherry personally but knew from Daryl that she was a kind person. Not like the woman he was seeing now in front of him.

"You will get questioned separately" Sherry answered. Rick had been made to sit on a couch and they had locked the front door. Plus they had a gun. Wished he could manage to persuade Sherry that both he and Negan weren't a threat.

"Who are you?" Rick asked as he looked at the guy with the dreadlocks.

"His name is Jasper" Sherry replied instead of him "can't talk anymore..."

They exchanged a glare and Rick couldn't understand.

"His tongue was cut off" Sherry explained and Rick's eyes widened as he felt pity for him despite putting handcuffs on Negan while holding him somewhere else.

"Please Sherry" Rick pleaded "we've been through a lot. Just want to go home at last, Simon kidnapped us and has taken over. You know that I have two kids back at Alexandria, they need me..."

Sherry hesitated but she knew about Rick's kids. Couldn't keep him away from them.

"You can go tomorrow, but Negan is staying. Gonna get the ending he deserves at last" she announced and Rick's expression turned cold.

"Won't let you harm him or leave without him" Rick told her decisively.

"What is he to you Rick? Because you were kidnapped together?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"We weren't just kidnapped together..." Rick said "I and he are engaged"

Sherry couldn't believe her ears as she looked at Rick with shock.

"Didn't Daryl tell you of how he was treating us? Do you want to marry him willingly? He forced me to run away from my husband" Sherry answered with tears to her eyes.

"I know what he did, Negan held me as his prisoner. During your absence, he changed though. I got assaulted by David and Negan killed him. Amber got poisoned, also from David and Negan made sure that she got proper care. She is healthy and with Mark now. Even told me that he will leave the Sanctuary to Dwight and remove himself from the leader position. What more to say to prove that he's changed?" Rick asked with a sore expression. "Simon 𝙝𝙖𝙨 to pay though first. He, not Negan. Believe me, we've suffered enough already"

Sherry looked distressed as she didn't know what to believe.

"I'll interrogate him," she said eventually after thinking about it.

"Please don't hurt him..." Rick sobbed out as he was worried for Negan.

Sherry exchanged one more glare with Jasper and they both seemed to not knowing what to do.

"Lay to the couch, Rick," Sherry told him and Jasper nodded in agreement. "I may let you see each other tomorrow"

Rick swallowed hard as he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep without Negan. Without knowing if he was ok and not harmed.

Jasper sat in a chair while holding the gun. A clear threat that they would be using it if he dared to escape or do something.

Rick laid on the couch as he didn't have another choice and stared at the ceiling, hoping that Negan would be fine, despite being handcuffed.

Chapter Text

Negan had been struggling to release himself from the handcuffs but it was useless. Sherry and the other guy had led them to a house as they had separated him from Rick. Knew that Sherry wasn't evil but she seemed determined to make him suffer now that he'd been caught. Hadn't thought much of where Sherry had gone to after escaping from the Sanctuary. Just how much it ached Dwight and of course they had to choose her car to steal in hopes of going home at last.

Was worried for Rick. What if they harmed him as well because of his actions? Before he could think of it any longer, the door got opened and Sherry walked in while holding a knife. Negan tensed up to the chair he had been made to sit on.

"Where is Rick?" he asked immediately.

Sherry approached him as their eyes met. Negan looked anxiously at the knife.

"He is downstairs, sleeping" she answered plainly.

Negan rolled his eyes at that. Knew very well that Rick wouldn't be sleeping when someone was threatening them.

"Heard talks earlier. What did he say to you?"

"That you became some sort of a saint while I was gone" Sherry replied, showing Negan that it was hard to believe.

"Rick is too good for me, I know that" Negan mumbled as he averted his eyes in shame. "Has to go back to his home though. Been taken away from them for too long. Wish that you'd do the same since Dwight is missing you. What are you doing in this abandoned small town?"

"Hiding from you," Sherry said bitterly "would never think that I could get the chance to have you so vulnerable. Like you did to us"

Negan had tears in his eyes.

"Look, I know that I hurt you...all of you. There's no taking it back, but as you love Dwight, I love Rick so much as well. He suffered with me a lot but somehow he stuck to his efforts to make me a better person and I have changed. Promise that I'll get rid of Simon and leave you at peace with Dwight. You can make the Sanctuary better, you and he. Just please Sherry..." Negan sobbed.

Sherry was crying as well but felt herself releasing the grip on the knife. Considered it and left the knife to the side as Negan's hazel eyes widened.

She got the key to the handcuffs out and unlocked them.

"Don't cause him pain..." she said to Negan who nodded as he swallowed dryly.

"I won't" he promised and stood up. Rubbed his sore wrists as he was feeling pain from being tied up for so many hours. "Could I see him?"

Sherry nodded and opened up the door of the room they'd put Negan in.

Walked together downstairs and Jasper got concerned when he saw Negan walking down. Sherry gave him a reassuring nod though.

"Negan!" Rick exclaimed as he saw him unharmed. Stood up from the couch and fell to his hug.

Negan cried as he hugged him as well. Thought that he would get killed. That they'd both get killed.

"I'm here Rick," he said to him as he took a trembling breath.

Rick looked at Sherry and thanked her with his eyes. He needed Negan as much as Negan needed him.

Was glad that they were allowed to reunite and get to have this hug.

Chapter Text

Rick laid with Negan on the couch for the night as Sherry and the mute guy, Jasper went to their rooms. The door was still locked and it wouldn't be ok to steal the car either way. Needed to talk when morning came and hopefully Sherry would help them go home. She may even return as well now that she knew that they could be with Dwight again.

It was squeezed on the couch but Rick didn't care. Had Negan wrapped up and resting his head on his shoulder. It was causing him anxiety when they were separated.

"Are you ok?" Rick asked him in a low tone as their eyes met.

"Yes," Negan nodded with a small sigh "didn't harm me. Although I expected that she would..."

"You apologized for it and recognized you were wrong" Rick pointed out "this has to count for something"

"Even if she doesn't help us, I'm taking you out of here tomorrow" Negan promised "had no idea we would be crossing paths with Sherry but need to continue. Either she is willing to help us or not"

"I just want to go home at last" Rick said bitterly as he was on the verge of tearing up. It had been almost a month of being out there.

"I know Rick..." Negan answered with a soreness "want the same thing. It's been hard, to say the least. He needs to pay at last"

"He does" Rick agreed "I'm just thinking if this will ever stop..."

"What thing?" Negan asked him as he raised his eyebrow.

"Today is Simon, tomorrow someone else...I'm losing hope that we'll ever find peace" Rick admitted with sadness.

"Whatever is gonna come our way, we're gonna have to deal with. Together though. Not alone" Negan said to him as he believed that this was the way of dealing with things from that moment on.

Rick nodded slowly and snuggled closer to Negan for comfort and warmth.

"All I know is that I can't stand life without you" Rick whispered to Negan.

"Me neither, Rick" Negan replied seriously "we are gonna make it, eventually. We always do"

"We do..." Rick replied as he sighed again "Don't know how I'm gonna sleep after all that"

"You need rest," Negan said with concern "plus it's late already. I'm here now. Not going anywhere. Try to close your eyes and will help you fall asleep"

Rick stared at him for some moments but complied.

"Take a breath for four seconds..." Negan said to him in a low tone "then hold it for seven seconds and let it go for eight seconds..."

Rick did as Negan told him and felt himself letting out a yawn.

"Think of Alexandria...on a sunny day...the trees, the tomatoes...." Negan continued.

Rick thought of it and started getting relaxed. He hummed sleepily as Negan kept saying things to help him fall asleep.

Half an hour later, he was deep into sleep and Negan kissed him on the top of his head.

"Goodnight Grimes..." he said to him gently.

Didn't think that he would be sleeping much but at least he'd helped Rick do so.

Chapter Text

Rick woke up in the morning and Negan was already up from the couch. Heard low talks not far away. Sat up as well as he wiped the sleepiness from his eyes.

Was anxious if they would let them go or not. Walked to a small kitchen as Sherry, Negan and Jasper stopped talking and looked at him.

"Continue..." Rick said still with sleepiness as he noticed some tension between them.

"What to continue Rick?" Negan questioned as he was looking tired as hell. "We said what we needed to"

Rick sighed as he stared at Sherry.

"You believe us now?" he asked.

"I do..." Sherry said hesitantly "can't forget of course but I want to be with Dwight at last. Jasper had been all alone when we met. Needs a safe place to be staying"

Jasper nodded and stared at them. Felt awkward that they couldn't exchange a word but he didn't seem like a bad person. Not when he wasn't punching Negan of course.

"Great" Rick answered with relief "Can we please return today? How far away are we even?"

"It's one hour drive for the Sanctuary," Sherry said to them "and yes, we'll pack up and go back today"

Rick sat down beside Negan to have a cereal bar for breakfast and felt newfound happiness inside of him. That was it. They would be going home. Knew that they weren't done as Simon had to pay, but it was still very exciting to finally go back to their homes.

Saw Negan looking at him as he ate and he seemed like he hadn't slept at all during the night.

Sherry and Jasper went to pack up their things, leaving Negan and Rick alone for a while.

"Didn't you sleep?" Rick asked with a small pout as he knew the answer already.

"Nah..." Negan drawled "who needs sleep?"

"You seem to need it, you asshole," Rick said in a criticizing tone "you're going to rest in the car, hear me?"

"Fine, I will" Negan agreed as he could see Rick's worry for him. It was hard to sleep when his mind was on Simon though.

"Gonna take care of you back at home," Rick said with a small smirk "you can even tie me up again, as I know that you love doing so..." he added suggestively.

Negan couldn't help but smirk as well.

"Will put a sign "do not disturb" at the door then" Negan grinned at Rick.

"Exactly" Rick laughed softly "when we are done with Simon, have a wedding you and I. Thought that I forgot it but I didn't.."

Negan leaned in for a soft kiss and Rick kissed him back emotionally.

"Can't wait Rick" he said with tears in his eyes "not saying that getting to tie you up again isn't tempting enough, but making you my man is more important"

Rick fell to his hug as he sobbed.

"It's been so rough...I wouldn't have made it without you, just wanted you to know it" Rick said with sadness "want us to be together at last"

"Hey" Negan tried to comfort him "we will Rick" he promised "not gonna let Simon ruin our happy ending because there is one"

Gave him one more gentle kiss and rubbed Rick's back soothingly.

Couldn't wait to see the Sanctuary again. No matter what Simon had done during their absence.

Chapter Text

Rick sighed as he looked outside the window, at the passing greenery. Felt like a dream that they were finally going home. Hoped that their sufferings would come to an end at last. Glared at Negan who had rested his head on his shoulder as he'd finally fell asleep.

Pulled him gently closer to him as much as the car allowed and saw Sherry staring at them from the car's rearview mirror.

"You do love him," Sherry said but it wasn't a question. More like a statement.

Rick knew that Sherry had a bad opinion on Negan after everything that had happened between them.

"I didn't at first. Thought that he'd end up killing me for not complying. He did change though, it wasn't some act. Until he ended up proposing to me. Will always be Negan but he wants to be better"

"Yeah..." Sherry mumbled as she could understand Rick's point of view. "Bet that you can't wait to see your home again. I do as well, with Dwight. Thought that I wouldn't be able to return"

"After getting rid of Simon, our lives will change. For all of us and nothing will be the same. I'm sure that you can lead the Saviors in a good direction" Rick tried to reassure her.

"What do you think he has done during your absence?" Sherry asked.

"Don't know..." Rick answered in frustration "but I'm sure that nothing good. Have to save our people from him"

Negan whimpered in his sleep and Rick tried to calm him down as they stopped talking. Should let Negan get some rest, he was gonna need it.

Kissed him on top of his head and Negan seemed to relax a bit.

"I love you," Rick said to him in an almost inaudible tone.

One month out there had been rough and they'd been through so much. From bad weather to Negan being sick, to getting engaged...

Their exile had bonded them more than he could have ever had imagined but they'd also suffered a lot due to Simon.

All he wanted was to get to hug his family again and getting married to the man he loved. Wished that there wouldn't be any more barriers that they needed to overcome. Had been very tiresome to have to face danger after danger.

What he truly needed right now was a peaceful and simple life with Negan by his side.

Only time would tell if he would be getting this life or not though.

Chapter Text

"We need to go to Alexandria first" Negan announced as this was the best for now. Didn't know what was happening at the Sanctuary and couldn't just show up after being presumed dead for a month. Needed to take Simon by surprise.

He exchanged a worried look with Rick who squeezed his hand for comfort.

They approached Alexandria with the car and thought to leave the car at a distance. Would be for the best if they walked the rest of the way.

Suddenly they heard talks and someone laughing.

"Hide!" Rick said urgently as they moved behind some trees.

"...man, I wanted to beat up that little shit so much. Who does he think he is for daring to hide supplies? He got away with a slap after all. Didn't learn anything from missing an eye apparently," one guy said and they both laughed.

Rick saw red at that. Before Negan could do anything, Rick had grabbed Sherry's gun and got out from their hiding spot.

He stood in front of the two Saviors whose eyes widened when they saw him.

"Want to say again what you did to my son?" Rick asked in an icy tone.

The one man found his voice again and smirked at Rick.

"Well, look at that. Rick's return. So you didn't die after all. Boss will not be happy but he can execute you publicly now. We were saying that Carl got a hard slapping just the other day"

Rick raised the gun and shot at both of them before they could even react. Made sure that they wouldn't even get to turn.

Negan approached Rick slowly and took the gun from him.

"Rick...-" Negan started as he hugged Rick tightly. Couldn't believe that they had slapped a kid and especially Carl.

Rick sobbed as he turned his back on the dead bodies.

"They hurt my son" Rick chocked out as his body rocked hard.

Sherry and Jasper were equally disturbed by what they had heard.

"Hey, he's a tough kid. I'm sure that he didn't even flinch. He's your son and no matter what these assholes were doing, I'm sure that nothing was enough to harm Carl"

"Want to hug my kids..." Rick cried out "tell them that nothing else will happen to them now that I'm here"

Negan nodded and took Rick gently away from these poor excuses of men for daring to hit a kid.

They had taken things too far and it was payment time for them at last.

Chapter Text

"Dad!" Carl sobbed out as he hugged him tightly.

"Carl" Rick chocked with tears rolling down his cheeks "oh my God, I've missed you so much, so so much"

He looked at his son's face and could see the sadness in his eye, the massive pain of thinking that his father was dead, for real this time.

"Won't let anyone harm you again" he promised "anyone"

Michonne walked with Judith down the stairs and her eyes widened when she saw them all.

Rick ran to them and hugged both, feeling very emotional.

"We thought you were dead Rick," Michonne said as she was crying as well.

"Simon kidnapped us and we kept trying to return for a month now. Met Sherry and her friend Jasper eventually. They helped us to come back, we would be still out there without them"

Negan was feeling his eyes getting watery at Rick's reunion with his family and walked closer to Carl who was looking at him.

"Hey kid..." he said hesitantly. Who knows what they had all been through during their absence.

Expected Carl to get angry at him and start accusing him but it never came.

"Thank you for bringing my Dad home," Carl said instead and Negan nodded as he hugged him.

"I'm sorry Carl..." he sobbed "sorry for getting your father into this mess and he got taken away from you. He was thinking of this day for a long time, reuniting with you"

Carl took in a shaky breath. "Simon has been taking out supplies...leaving us with scraps..." said bitterly.

"Everything will get fixed now that I and your father are back. I promise you Carl" Negan said sincerely.

Looked at Rick who was holding Judith and they were talking with Michonne and Sherry.

Let himself sit down on the wooden floor next to Carl and for the first time, all that they had been through was coming back to him. This was real though and they finally were home.

---

Rick sighed as he laid on his bed next to Negan. Had been a very intense day of catching up with his family. Thankfully Michonne and Daryl didn't leave the kids alone and had done everything in their powers to protect them.

The incident of Carl getting slapped was the only one of violence as Michonne reassured him. She had been outraged as well but they had guns while Alexandrians didn't. Carl hadn't even teared up when they slapped him. Still didn't like that he had to go through this.

His eyes met Negan's who had a sore expression on his face.

"He has to die at last" Negan said as Rick rested his head on his shoulder.

"Yes, he has..." Rick mumbled "how" is the issue"

"You won't approach him, we said that already" Negan answered decisively. "He's my responsibility to deal with. You will stay here with the family that needs you"

"You're my family as well" Rick protested as he narrowed his eyes on him.

"Well not yet exactly but I get what your mean," Negan said in frustration "have to let me handle this though. You just got reunited. Can't allow you to get hurt"

Rick leaned in a kissed him on the lips.

"Be careful and come back to me, you hear me? Want to get married to you at last"

Negan kissed him back gently and nodded.

"Will always come to you Grimes" he promised.

Chapter Text

"Can't believe that I have you to my bed at last" Rick said with a small smirk. It was late at night but neither wanted to sleep just yet.

"Yeah, I almost miss the sleeping bags..." Negan teased him but got on top of Rick. "I don't want you to worry anymore. You're safe here and that's the most important thing"

"How to not worry when you want to deal with Simon all alone, huh?" Rick asked with a sigh as their eyes met.

"I've been preparing myself mentally for a month now. I'm ready and he has to be out of the way. Only then we will be at peace" Negan explained. "Forget him now. Want us to enjoy being at a bed again"

"Hmm, is that so?" Rick said as he raised his eyebrow.

"Yep," Negan grinned as Rick kissed him on the lips.

"I'm surprised you didn't get mad at hugging Michonne when we came back..." Rick told him as he rolled his eyes.

"Who says that I didn't? But it was too emotional that I let it pass obviously. You are mine though, you prick, right?" Negan asked with a small pout.

"You're so possessive, but I like it surprisingly" Rick laughed softly "and you're already my family. Don't need the wedding for it. Of course, I'm all yours"

"You are," Negan said thoughtfully as he kissed his man again.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and they both froze. Negan removed himself from Rick immediately as the younger man blushed.

"Come in..." Rick said hesitantly.

Carl walked in and his eye widened at seeing Negan laying on his father's bed.

"What is he doing here?" Carl asked as he couldn't understand.

"Erm...I've..." Rick mumbled unsurely.

Negan patted the bed though for Carl to sit down. They needed to talk.

"While out there, we got engaged with your father. I know that I caused you all to suffer but I do care about him and you kid. Have to believe me..." Negan pleaded.

"I know that this will take some time to process," Rick said with worry.

Carl sighed though. "There is nothing to process Dad. Since you love each other, I'm not gonna get in the way"

Rick hugged his son tightly, feeling emotional.

"Thank you, Carl means a lot to me"

"So I'm gonna have you as a stepfather?" Carl asked as he looked at Negan.

"Will find for you as many comics as you would like..." Negan said as he bit his bottom lip. Really wanted the kids to accept him.

"Have to repay me for getting me to sing for you after all" Carl announced with a serious tone but a smirk appeared on his face.

Negan smirked back at Carl and nodded.

"I do, kid," he said as he offered Carl a hug as well which he accepted.

Rick gave Carl a good night kiss and said to him to go lay down. It was late after all and he should be sleeping.

Exchanged a look with Negan and he was hopeful for their future as a family.

Chapter Text

"I am glad that Carl accepted me," Negan said to Rick as they were laying together in bed. "Had been very worried since he doesn't have the best opinion of me. Hopefully, no one will try to kill me when they find out we're to get married..."

Negan pouted and Rick hugged him comfortingly.

"No one will try anything when I tell them that I love you and that you've changed. It won't be easy at first but they'll get it with time. I'm sure of it"

The older man sighed and rested his head on Rick's shoulder.

"Want to be done with Simon as soon as possible. He's like a disease that had been slowly spreading through David as well"

"I agree..." Rick mumbled with sadness. If it wasn't for Simon they could finally relax and enjoy the fact that they were alive despite everything they went through. But not now.

"Enough with talking about him" Negan decided after a moment of silence.

"What should we talk about then?" Rick asked as he raised his eyebrow.

"About how handsome you are" Negan answered with a smirk.

Rick chuckled and gave him a poke.

"Stop being cheesy..." he said although his eyes warmed up.

"I know that you should sleep but can't get enough of you," Negan told him with want.

"Who says that I want to sleep?" Rick asked despite his tiredness.

Negan moved on top of Rick and looked into his blue eyes.

"We should continue from where we left off before then," he said with a small smile and Rick nodded eagerly.

"Want you to keep me up all night long," Rick told him while feeling his heart beating faster.

Negan was inches away from his lips and felt the urge to say something.

"I may get mad at times, act like an asshole...but I do love you. Since the first time, we looked at each other. I have been falling for you and I know that I mistreated you in a despicable manner...want to leave that all behind and start this journey with you by my side" Negan said emotionally.

Rick felt his eyes getting watery and nodded.

"Want that as well and I love you too. So much. You are mine as I'm yours. Always will be. Won't let anyone separate us again but even if they manage it, we'll always return to each other..."

"Hey," Negan said as he held Rick's face "no one will tear us apart again"

He leaned forward and connected their lips. Rick let out sounds of pleasure as he started removing his clothes for Negan who had his eyes locked on him.

Helped Rick on his hands and knees as he massaged him gently.

His boy was already wet for him as he was for Rick.

"What do you want Rick?" Negan asked in a low voice.

"To make me yours...-" Rick answered breathlessly and with anticipation.

Negan began fingering him slowly and Rick was letting out the most beautiful sounds.

"God Negan..." Rick said needily as Negan pushed his cock inside of him carefully.

Negan rammed him harder and harder gradually, slapping against him, thrusting deep inside him. His balls swung loose, slapping against Rick's taint with every thrust.

Rick rested his head against the pillow to stop loud noises from coming out of his lips.

Negan reached up and grabbed his wrists in one hand, holding them above his head. He squeezed Rick's legs together between his thighs, tightening his arse even further. His free hand pushed down on Rick's back, effectively trapping him on the bed beneath his sweat-covered body.

They both breathed heavily as Negan kissed Rick's neck.

"You are mine..." Negan whispered to him in a possessive tone but also lovingly.

Chapter Text

"Dear Negan AKA asshole (you know that you are),

you are still sleeping in my room and here I am writing you a letter for no particular reason. You did keep me up all night after all. Being out there for a month has made me anxious in a way. Think that someone is gonna attack us and even though we are home, Simon is still a threat. A big one.

Want to face him on your own even though I don't agree. When have you heard me, to do so now? Love you despite being so stubborn. Annoyingly stubborn at times. You are much more than that.

Can't wait to talk to Gabriel about getting us married. Do you think he'll agree? Don't know anyone else who is a priest. You did say to him that he is creepy as shit when you first met. Hopefully, he won't be mad still about it.

Never thought that I would be thinking of weddings during the Apocalypse and for sure not about mine. With you of all people. We have been through a lot you and me. Bad and good.

I just want to feel happy at last, you know? You do make me happy. There's no one else I would rather be with (no, not Michonne as you had been bugging me...).

I guess at the end of the day, you'll always be you and I'll be me. You with Lucille, me with the Python. Even with that black leather jacket, you're insisting on wearing it all the time. Carl is gonna get annoyed with your attitude and Judith will keep loving her uncle Negan. Even when she grows up.

You'll always be there to comfort me when having a nightmare at night and I'll be by your side when sick. Will even learn to cook for you. Real soups, not canned ones.

Seems like a dream but it's so close, I know that it is. Gonna tear up at our wedding when you show up with that bright smile of yours.

As for this letter, just wanted to express some thoughts. Don't even know if I'll give it to you. Maybe after the wedding. If everything goes well. Just wanted you to know that I love you. Love you a lot. I know that you do too.

Wish that we grow old together here at Alexandria, without any more conflicts between our communities. Maybe life will never be as before the Apocalypse but it can be close to that. We can make it. Together.

Yours,
Rick Grimes (or the Prick)"

Chapter Text

Rick entered his room and saw Negan waking up. He smiled at him as Negan patted the bed for him to lay back down. Rick complied and smirked.

"Good morning," he said as he kissed Negan on the cheek.

"Good morning" Negan smiled back at him "Where were you? Didn't realize you were up and found the bed empty"

Rick chuckled at Negan's small pout. He was adorable.

"Was kissing with Michonne downstairs..." Rick said just to get a reaction out of Negan.

"Hmm, is that so?" Negan asked as he had learned by now that Rick loved messing with him.

"Yes..." Rick answered and had to keep himself to not laugh "what are you going to do about it?"

Negan sat up and cornered Rick against the comfortable mattress.

"Gonna show you that my kisses are much better," Negan said suggestively and Rick smirked.

"Do show me" Rick encouraged Negan.

"Gladly..." he said as he tasted Rick's lips. Rick responded immediately and kissed him back passionately.

"I want you, we have established that. Would never cheat on you" Rick promised gently.

"Why are you such a tease then?" Negan asked and Rick rolled his eyes in response.

"Can't help it. You're so possessive of me..." Rick answered but he smiled.

Negan sighed and nodded.

"I am" he agreed "love you though"

"Me too, you asshole," Rick said, "lay with me for a while, need it so much..."

"Of course Rick" Negan agreed and laid back to his side. Wrapped his arm around Rick as they always did and held him close to him.

"Feels like ages ago when you used to terrorize us..." Rick said thoughtfully.

"You are not planning to rebel against me, that's why" Negan answered but the truth was that he never wanted to go back to these things.

"Might plan something soon enough..." Rick said but he smiled.

"That's my Grimes" Negan replied as he smiled back at him and squeezed Rick lovingly.

Chapter Text

"Give me Simon" Negan ordered coldly as he had grabbed a walkie-talkie to contact the Sanctuary.

Had left Rick with his kids and Michonne at home as he wanted to end this even today if possible. Rick needed to be protected though.

Waited two minutes and heard a chuckle coming from the other side.

"You survived after all. I'm impressed..." Simon mocked him.

Negan growled at that. "I did, should have killed me instead of kidnapping us and being left out there in the cold"

"Wanted you to suffer Negan" Simon explained "Rick too. Killing you would be too merciful but since you came back can't let you keep living"

"I agree" Negan spat out "won't let you keep this up"

"Have followers at the Sanctuary Negan. Always did. Who want me instead of you"

"Good to know. After I kill you, I'll put them in cells until they snap out of it. If they don't, they are gonna follow you. Things will change, just without you around anymore"

"I am waiting for you at the Sanctuary in an hour" Simon announced "we are gonna fight to the death. Whoever wins gets to be the leader. Don't expect that I'll give your body back to Rick though to cry above you. Gonna do what you did to David and let some wild animal eat you. Say your goodbyes Negan, cause it will be your last ones"

With that, Simon turned off his walkie-talkie. Negan looked at his walkie-talkie with anger.

Had to win or else...he didn't even want to think the alternative. The only way was to win.

Hot tears filled up his eyes as he thought of Rick in case he didn't make it. The pain that would cause him.

"Negan?" asked someone behind him in a surprised tone.

Negan turned around and it was father Gabriel. He wiped his tears fast and stood in front of him.

"Are you sad that I'm still alive?" Negan asked him.

"Of course not, everyone was devastated to hear from Simon that you and Rick had died. Didn't want to believe it. Simon had been very demanding from us and it's been tough"

Negan sighed in frustration and nodded.

"I know, will try to kill him. If I don't manage it, want you all to fight. Can't live like that, under Simon's control"

"You sound...different," Gabriel said as he didn't expect Negan to be talking like that.

"I am different and it's all thanks to Rick. I know that you may find this weird or wrong, but if I survive, can you get me and Rick married? While out there, I asked him to be my husband. Love him so much that is killing me to think that I may not survive..." Negan said hesitantly.

Gabriel looked surprised at that but he could see in his eyes that what he was saying was the truth.

He patted Negan's arm comfortingly and nodded. Couldn't find it in him to ruin their happiness and they'd been through a lot.

"I will get you married because you are going to come back to Rick. Don't want to face my wrath if you don't..." Gabriel threatened him a bit but a smile appeared on his face.

"Thank you, Gaby," Negan said emotionally "knew that you had a soft spot for me"

"Go back to Rick now and then find Simon" Gabriel urged him as Negan nodded. That's what he had to do.

"...and you don't look creepy as shit" Negan admitted as departure words which made Gabriel roll his eyes.

Chapter Text

"Where did you go?" Rick asked suspiciously as Negan returned home, holding a walkie-talkie.

"In an hour, I'll go to the Sanctuary. To face Simon" Negan answered and saw the immediate pain in Rick's face.

"Don't go" Rick sobbed with worry "we'll find another way..."

"It's gonna be ok Rick" Negan tried to comfort him despite being afraid as well "won't even scratch me"

Rick teared up though as his fear was much bigger than anything Negan was saying.

"Hey, I also talked to Gabriel and he agreed to get us married. Isn't that great news? He could have thrown to me something to the head instead but he didn't..."

Rick let out a small chuckle at that despite his distress.

"Come back to me, promise?" Rick asked as he wiped his tears.

"I promise," Negan said seriously and would try his hardest to do so. "We still have half an hour. I want us to spend it together. Let's go to your room..."

Rick nodded and they walked to his room again. Closed the door behind Negan and they both sat on his bed.

Negan held his hand gently and recalled all the things they'd been through together.

"You know...two were the happiest days of my whole miserable life. When I got married to Lucille back then and when you agreed to marry me. These were the only times, I've ever felt so genuinely happy"

Rick touched Negan's cheek as their eyes met.

"We will get married as well, no one is gonna take that from us. Gonna make me yours officially"

"If I don't..." Negan said with sadness "want you to find someone else, to fix your life"

"There's no one else" Rick answered in denial. "Will never be"

"In case of" Negan insisted "Will you do that for me? No matter how hard?"

"Want to say that I won't but you're not gonna like it..." Rick mumbled.

Negan kissed him and nodded.

"You know that I won't, so you should do it. Know how possessive of you I am. But if I don't make it, you'll find someone else and forget about me. Won't let you go through what I went through with Lucille's death"

"I'll be waiting for you," Rick said in response "don't make me angry either"

Negan sighed and hugged Rick tightly. Didn't want this to be the last time hugging his man. Wanted to get to do it every day.

He swallowed dryly and checked on the clock. It was time to get going.

Stood up and Rick's eyes were watery again.

"Come back to me," Rick said as parting words.

Chapter Text

Negan felt his heart beating faster as he entered the Sanctuary. Saw Simon smirking at him from a distance and a tied-up Dwight standing to the side. He was beaten up also.

Their eyes met and Negan knew that he had fought. There was no way that Dwight would simply give up. Had to try for him and everyone back at Alexandria. For Rick. He just had to or die trying.

"Well, well, look who returned" Simon mocked him.

Negan narrowed his eyes on him. "Should have killed me when you had the chance. This ends tonight"

"Wanted to make you suffer as I said" Simon explained "it's never too late to do so though. There is no way out for you, Negan. Gonna kill you and enjoy it"

Negan didn't give him time to keep talking and attacked him with force. Simon chuckled and punched him hard to the face.

Felt the pain immediately but recovered fast. "You are done, Negan"

"We will see who's done" Negan answered and he was on Simon again, getting a satisfying punch on the stomach.

Simon groaned and tripped Negan with his leg making him fall.

He smiled down at Negan in a menacing way.

"Maybe David was right for wanting Rick. His execution was poor but still...gonna make him my slave when I'm done with you"

"Don't talk about him!" Negan spat out aggressively and made Simon lose his balance as well.

Got on top of him and managed a slap on his cheek.

Simon fought back and flipped their positions. Wrapped his fingers around Negan's throat and put pressure.

"No one will cry for you Negan," Simon said as Negan's vision started getting blurry.

"Negan!" Dwight sobbed out but they kept him in place.

Simon smiled in satisfaction as Negan's face had turned red.

Negan made weak attempts to release himself but Simon just tightened his grip.

"Won't let...you...touch Rick..." Negan said with struggle and saw Simon's smile freezing.

Looked down and saw Negan holding a knife as he pressed it to his stomach.

Negan gave him a kick with his leg and coughed out sharply.

Simon was bleeding out with a shock written all over his face.

"You tricked me..." he said as he was losing blood fast.

"I am the leader of this compound and I won't let you harm anyone else" Negan answered as he leaned above him.

"Help" Simon chocked out but Negan gave them a warning glare.

"No one is gonna help you Simon because you're a pathetic piece of shit" Negan growled and pressed the knife to his stomach again.

"Whoever helps him is gonna get Lucille as David did. Try if you dare to"

Negan rubbed his sore throat as Simon was taking his last breaths. Would never get near them again.

He removed the bloodied knife from Simon's stomach and cleaned it. Walked to Dwight and cut off the rope from his hands.

Returned to Simon who was gasping and knelt beside him.

"Not so fair to be using tricks huh? Don't care at all though the same way as you didn't when you left us out there to die"

Gave him one last cold glare as Simon was slowly dying from the big blood loss.

Chapter Text

Τhree weeks later.

"Rick?" Negan asked as the door of their room was locked. Tried the handle when he heard a sigh from the inside.

Carl opened up the door slightly and narrowed his one eye on him.

"You know that you shouldn't see the groom before the wedding. Waited for a 16-year-old kid to tell you that? Scoot now..."

Negan pouted but Carl smiled at him.

"The wedding is in an hour. You can wait" Carl added, in a more sympathetic tone.

Negan nodded but felt his eyes stinging. This was it. He was getting married to Rick.

The week that followed Simon's death was far from easy. Many accused him of killing their preferred leader by tricking him and bringing the knife. When did Simon play fair though and why should he? The order had been restored though and Dwight was now the leader alongside Sherry as he had promised.

Rick had been relieved when he saw him alive. His throat had been rough for about two weeks but didn't care. He had won and was gonna marry the man he loved. Rick had admitted to him that he wasn't planning on finding anyone else. That made him both happy but also showed how stubborn Rick was.

Of course, he didn't want Rick to be with someone else but with him. In case he died though, Rick had to move on. Luckily none of this had happened though. Rick had the challenge of persuading Alexandrians that he'd changed and that Rick wasn't crazy for agreeing to get married to him.

They had been very cautious at first but killing Simon had softened them a lot towards him. Everyone had agreed to come to their wedding.

Saw Dwight on his way downstairs who frowned when he saw him not ready yet.

"Get ready Negan, come on" he urged him "Rick will kill us if you're not on time"

"Was about to" Negan answered "wanted to see Rick but Carl said that I'm not allowed to before the wedding"

"He's right," Dwight said like he was trying to explain something simple.

Negan rolled his eyes but moved to Carl's room to get dressed in a black tuxedo that looked like it was new.

Rick had been the one to choose what they would be wearing and had found them also.

Put it on and was very elegant. Wanted to look as handsome as possible for Rick. Fixed his dark hair as well and got out of the room.

"You look good" Dwight commented with a smile when he saw him.

"Hope that Rick will not change his mind after all..." Negan said unsurely.

"The guy loves you Negan. He won't. Let's go to the chapel now" Dwight tried to calm his nerves down.

Negan nodded and took a deep breath. Couldn't wait to see Rick.

Chapter Text

"Ιf you dare to hurt his feelings..." Michonne threatened after she complimented him for being good-looking in a tuxedo.

"You're late. Already did that...but will try to not repeat it...I will actively work not to in fact" Negan said to her.

"Better do so. For your good..." Michonne replied but had a small smile on her lips. "Rick talked to me, you know. About what happened and your obsession with me...Not planning on stealing your husband to be. You can relax. He wants you and only you"

Negan sighed as he knew that his possessiveness would always be getting the better of him.

"I know, still got to kiss my husband to be though...-" Negan answered and it was Michonne's turn to sigh. Father Gabriel came their way. He was dressed up for the event as well.

"Did Rick cancel the wedding yet?" he asked and Negan rolled his eyes.

"You wish, but no, he didn't. Still has time though..." Negan said as he looked anxiously at the chapel's entrance.

"He won't be canceling it," Gabriel said while acting sure about it.

"How can you be so sure?" Negan questioned as he had his doubts.

"Rick would never get married to our enemy if he wasn't sure that you'd changed...if he didn't love you. What happened may be hard to deal with but being stuck in the past does no good in the end. You and Rick proved that there is another way forward. In fact...there comes Rick" father Gabriel announced with a smile.

Negan turned around and his eyes met Rick's blue ones. Felt his eyes getting watery at the sight of him with Carl and Judith by his side.

Had to keep himself to not start crying. From how much happiness he was feeling right now.

Everyone clapped as Rick came his way and Negan couldn't help but stare at how handsome his groom was looking.

Rick got by his side and smiled at him.

"Cat got your tongue?" Rick teased him a bit but could see that Negan was very emotional.

"It won't be appropriate to tear up..." Negan managed to let out and Rick gave him a big hug.

"I love you so much" Rick whispered to him as he smiled at Negan comfortingly.

"Love you too Rick" Negan sobbed out as he wiped a tear that was threatening to fall.

Chapter Text

"Rick Grimes do you want Negan to be your husband? To love and to care for the rest of your lives?" Gabriel asked as Rick and Negan were staring into each other's eyes, clearly emotional.

"You can say no" Carl whispered to his father but he knew the answer already. Negan's as well.

"I do," Rick said without having to second think anything.

Negan squeezed Rick's hand in his and had to keep himself hard to not break into tears.

"Negan, do you take Rick to be your husband, to love and to care for the rest of your lives? Rick wanted you to get his last name also and become a Grimes as well"

"It would be my greatest honor to be Rick's husband and also to become part of his family, so I do" Negan answered and he meant every word.

"I now announce you, husband and husband then," Gabriel said with a smile "you may kiss"

Rick leaned forward and gave Negan the sweetest kiss he had ever received. Negan kissed him back and felt like he would be exploding from all these feelings he was having.

"Welcome to the family, Negan Grimes" Rick said to him softly as his eyes were watery as well.

"Thank you for having me, Rick" Negan answered as he hugged his husband tightly.

Looked around and everyone was clapping. Rick didn't expect to take their wedding so well but guessed that his happiness came first for his family and friends.

Carl gave both his father and Negan a hug as he smiled at them. Judith squealed happily and Rick kissed her on the cheek.

"If you do anything out of line, I'll be shooting you with the crossbow," Daryl told Negan. He was the most reluctant to accept that Rick would be getting married to Negan but he could see as well how happy they were together.

Negan smirked at that as many of Rick's friends had threatened him already.

The truth was though, that he wouldn't want it any other way.

Chapter Text

"You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last, love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you..."

Negan sang to him at their wedding celebration and Rick couldn't believe how good he was at singing. Had wanted to surprise Rick and he did as the younger man didn't have a clue that he would be doing that for him.

"I'm speechless as you can see," Rick said as he smiled "didn't know you could sing so well"

"Was terrified, are you kidding me?" Negan asked but kissed his man as he sat down beside him.

"Payback for making me sing..." Carl commented and Negan poked the kid playfully.

"We'll be doing karaoke nights" Negan smirked at Carl.

"No thanks..." Carl replied sarcastically but it wasn't a bad idea at all.

"Thank you for doing that for me," Rick said to him as he had loved it.

"Thank you for giving meaning to my life again" Negan answered truthfully and touched Rick's cheek gently.

"We've been through so much you and I," Rick said "from hating, to loving you and can not imagine life without you"

"I am growing on people, that's true..." Negan told Rick with a small smile "but I agree. Wish I could erase all the bad but can't. Just to move on with you. That's the only thing I can do"

"We have the rest of our lives to do whatever we want" Rick promised as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

Negan wrapped his arm around Rick, holding him gently close to him.

"I know that difficulties may come, but you're worth fighting for. Everyone here is worth it. Alexandria..."

"They are" Rick agreed as he looked at everyone having a good time around them.

Wanted to photograph this moment in his mind somehow and keep it forever.

"Come on, we should dance" Negan suggested with a big smirk on his face.

Rick couldn't find it in him to say no and wanted to do this with Negan. Have a dance together.

"...𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙖𝙮, 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝 𝙞𝙣, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪... "

Rick looked at Negan's hazel eyes as they danced and he smiled.

"I am happy now," Rick said to him and Negan felt emotional once again. Wanted to allow himself to feel as emotional as possible tonight though.

"I am too, Rick. You are my happy place" Negan promised as he kissed him gently.

Chapter Text

"Last night at the Sanctuary," Negan said as he looked around at his room. Had decided to spend their wedding night there and then he would be moving in with Rick.

Rick touched his face gently as he could see that it was hard for Negan.

"Will be visiting whenever you want," Rick said to comfort him. This wasn't some permanent goodbye after all.

"Yes, I know but I'll still miss it" Negan answered as their eyes met. "Want to be with my husband more though"

Rick smiled at that and nodded.

"Choosing me over the Sanctuary? This says a lot..." Rick replied teasingly.

Negan hugged him and gave Rick a loving squeeze.

"I choose you over anything else," Negan said sincerely "always will"

Rick recalled back to when he had first come at the Sanctuary and this room. A lot had happened since and especially his relationship with Negan. From a prisoner, he'd become a husband and there was love between them. Not forced things and threats.

"I love you a lot" Rick repeated and his lips were on Negan's.

Negan kissed him back and felt so good, getting to kiss his man.

"Love you too, Ricky" he answered gently. "You're mine"

Rick looked at Negan's bed and bit his bottom lip.

"Will you show me that I'm yours then?" Rick asked innocently.

Negan smirked at that but nodded.

"Of course I will," he said and picked up Rick in his arms who let out a soft laugh.

Left him gently on his bed and Rick pulled him closer for a kiss.

"Hm..." Negan let out "so hot, baby"

Rick undressed for him and let out sounds of pleasure at Negan kissing his neck.

"Will you still love me when I'm old and with gray hair?" Rick asked as their eyes met again.

"Hey, what is that?" Negan questioned instead.

"Tell me..." Rick pouted a bit.

Negan's eyes softened and nodded.

"Will always love you, Rick. No matter how many years pass by. Plus you're gonna be as gorgeous as now" he added with a smile.

Rick smiled back at Negan and his blue eyes brightened up.

"Thank you, you asshole" he answered with a smirk as he resumed kissing his husband.

---
"𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝘼 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝘽? " 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙚-𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙚.

"𝘼𝙣 𝘼"

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙤.

"𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧? " 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙙.

"𝙎𝙤𝙤𝙣. 𝙑𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣"

"𝙒𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣. 𝙊𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙬"

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

One week later.

Rick yawned as he started waking up. Searched with his hand for Negan but he wasn't laying beside him. He wiped the sleepiness from his eyes and stood up to go look for Negan.

Opened up the door of their room and the smell hit him even from upstairs. Negan was making breakfast. Rick smiled to himself and walked down the stairs.

Saw Judith and Carl already up from bed and waiting for Negan to make pancakes if he had to guess.

"Hey," he said to them.

"Good morning Dad" Carl answered and Judith let out a happy sound "Dadda!". Negan turned to look at him as well and smiled.

Rick moved closer to Negan and kissed him on the cheek.

"Should have figured out that you would be making breakfast for us" Rick said teasingly.

"Well, it's our first Sunday as a family," Negan said as he smiled back at Rick "wanted to be a good one"

"You are right" Rick answered "some bonding would be very beneficial"

"Am I not bonded with Negan?" Carl asked in exasperation. Had done a lot of "bonding" at the Sanctuary.

"Different kind of bonding" Rick pointed out "without guns, singing and threatening...if possible"

Negan agreed as he wanted to be spending time with the kids so they'd all feel more comfortable.

"Ok, they are ready" Negan announced as he brought a dish filled up with delicious pancakes at the dinner table.

Carl started eating so fast like he had been starving which made Negan chuckle. Rick narrowed his eyes a bit on the other hand.

"Slower Carl..." he pouted as he took one pancake as well.

The pancakes were as tasty as he remembered from when he was at the Sanctuary, better even.

"Your cooking skills are always on point," said to Negan with a smile.

Fed to Judith some since she had started eating real food as well and would be making her the milk formula later on.

"Will be going to the Sanctuary tomorrow" Rick reminded Negan "they need help with the garden, how to take proper care of it now that the weather is soon gonna become warmer".

Negan sighed as he had forgotten it.

"Is it necessary?" he asked but he knew that this garden was mostly Rick's responsibility. He was the one that had made it Rick's responsibility in fact.

"You know that I don't particularly like being away either but should help. Dwight has tried so much already, should do the same" Rick answered as their eyes met.

Negan nodded in understanding. "Ok, I'll stay here with the kids and we'll do something fun together"

"Exactly," Rick said with a smile "bonding, as we've discussed"

"Can't wait to do some bonding with you as well" Negan answered and Rick felt his cheeks heating up.

"Eww, gross..." Carl said as he faked being disgusted.

"I've seen you kissing with Enid, kid" Negan pointed out and it was Carl's turn to get embarrassed.

Rick chuckled softly as he already loved their new family with Negan.

Chapter Text

"Could help Carl with what he has for school" Negan suggested as Alexandria's kids had finally started going to school. This was a huge improvement. Eugene was the teacher and Rick wouldn't trust anyone else more to get his kids educated.

"What do you know about math and all that?" Carl asked in disbelief.

"You'd be surprised, little serial killer. If you need my help, I could offer it though" Negan grinned at Carl.

Rick's eyes softened as he looked at his husband. Adored him even more, when he was trying so much.

"Carl why don't you take your sister for a walk around Alexandria?" Rick suggested as it was a sunny day outside.

Carl could see the glares between his father and Negan. Surprisingly he was very ok with it and not uncomfortable.

"Sure dad," he said as he picked up Judith.

Rick kissed both of his kids.

"Love you a lot, don't you ever doubt that," he said to the both of them as they went outside.

Rick closed the door behind them and looked at Negan.

"Missed you this morning..." Rick pouted "woke up without you beside me..."

Negan rolled his eyes as Rick could be as possessive as he was at times. Would never admit it out loud though.

"Hmm we should fix that then," Negan said with a smirk.

Rick took him by the hand and led him upstairs so fast like a Walker was chasing them.

Negan chuckled as he closed the door of Rick's room. Rick got comfortable again and patted the bed eagerly for Negan to lay down as well.

Negan did so and Rick was wrapped up to him in seconds.

"That's better," Rick said lovingly as he squeezed Negan. "Want to cuddle you every day"

Negan relaxed at Rick's hug and hummed in agreement. It was very cozy being like that.

"I am your personal cuddling person" he promised and Rick kissed him on the cheek as a thank you.

"Love being married to you," Rick said as his life had already changed for the better.

"Me too Rick, we've been through a lot but since they brought us here today, they were worth it"

"Don't you miss having me as your prisoner sometimes?" Rick asked as he gave him a small poke and smirked.

Negan sighed and shook his head negatively. Didn't want to return to these days of Rick suffering.

"I may miss giving you an order or two but only that," Negan said teasingly.

"Well, I am all yours..." Rick answered suggestively.

Negan wanted him so badly again and felt himself getting hard at these words.

"Get naked for me" he ordered Rick who was more than happy to comply.

Got rid of the clothes fast and Negan secured his hands and legs to soft restraints. Had found some that weren't hurting Rick, no matter how hard they were making out. Had promised to himself that they'd never use things that could be dangerous for Rick's well-being and that was what he cared about the most.

Would never be hurting Rick again to gain satisfaction for himself. If Rick was happy then he was happy as well.

Rick was eager to be touched by Negan.

"What do you need?" Negan asked as if he didn't know already.

"To touch me..." Rick pleaded as Negan touched his body tenderly.

"I am touching you," Negan said with a small smirk.

Rick sighed as Negan loved messing with him.

"You know where I want to...-" Rick pouted slightly as Negan kept touching him but not to the places he ached to be touched.

Negan couldn't find it in him to not do what Rick wanted and began fingering him slowly.

Rick moaned and Negan loved the sounds he was making for him.

"Gosh Rick," Negan said as his man was very hot.

"Please Negan..." Rick let out as their eyes met once again. Wanted Negan inside of him.

Negan lowered his boxers and pressed his cock carefully inside of Rick. They both let out loud noises when he entered him.

Rick met Negan's thrusts in him as much as he could while being tied up and they both came soon enough.

"You are such a tease" Rick commented, being still pretty breathless.

"Like you're not" Negan answered as he rolled his eyes and released Rick while giving him a quick kiss.

Rick rested his head on his elbow as he stared at his husband while laying on their bed.

"Thank you for trying for me and the kids. Know that adjusting to a new way of life is not easy," he said sincerely.

"I prefer to be calm and happy instead of with anger management issues" Negan answered as he thought about it. Wouldn't be changing this life for anything else.

Chapter Text

Negan walked to the kitchen to get some water to drink and saw Carl with some notes in front of him at the table, looking pretty puzzled.

He eyed the kid hesitantly as he didn't know if Carl wanted to sit with him.

"Could you help me?" Carl asked after some moments of silence. It felt weird to be asking help from Negan who had also become his stepfather but he did need it.

Negan smiled at him and nodded.

"Thought that you'd never ask," he said and sat down next to him.

Carl had his eye patch on and blushed when he saw Negan glaring at it.

"I've been made fun of, you know..." he mumbled in embarrassment.

Negan's eyes widened at that and felt anger out of sudden.

"Who made fun of you?" he demanded to know.

"Why, so you can kill them?" Carl asked, "plus you made fun of me first, then held my Dad..."

Negan sighed as he could see that all that had not been easy for Carl.

"Shouldn't have made fun of your injury, I know that. Nor keep your Dad as a prisoner. It could have killed you, getting shot in the face. You are here though, being strong and brave. Whoever makes fun of you, is an asshole, including myself"

Carl sobbed as he had been very stressed out. Negan felt a pang of pain inside of him and pulled Carl gently in for a hug.

"I care about you kid and want you happy. No one will love you more than your family does" Negan tried to comfort him.

"I've been through a lot..." Carl mumbled with pain in his voice.

"You have, kid...I know that you did. But we are a family now and have each other's backs. It will take some time to trust me and I get it, I'm here for you though. Whatever you need"

Carl sighed and wiped the tears from his one cheek.

"Sorry for being like that..." he said to Negan.

"Don't apologize for anything, it's valid to not be feeling well and we should talk about it or with your Dad if you'd like to" Negan said sympathetically.

"Yeah, we should" Carl agreed as he bit his bottom lip and looked at the notes again "Could you help me with some exercises that I have? Eugene is a pretty demanding teacher..."

"I will try my best" Negan promised with a small smile and started reading what Carl had for homework to see how he could help the kid with it.

Chapter Text

Negan found Rick in Judith's room, reading her a story. He rested himself against the door frame and looked at them. They were so cute like that. Even though Judith wasn't Rick's biological kid, Negan could see the love in his eyes. How much he cared for her.

"Hey," Negan said in a soft tone as he entered the room "how is little princess doing?"

Rick left her gently on the carpeted floor and Judith crawled to Negan.

"I am betting she will be sleepy in some minutes" Rick answered as Judith rested her head on Negan's leg who had sat down as well.

She gazed up at Negan and let out an "Egan" that guessed was his name in Judith's mind.

"That's me," Negan said with a smile.

"Where is Carl?" Rick asked as he had not heard of him all this time.

"He fell asleep early," Negan told him "helped him with homework before and these exercises were pretty hard, not everyone is as smart as Mister smartypants, should be putting something easier" he complained.

"You were smart enough for them though?" Rick asked teasingly.

Negan rolled his eyes. "Didn't know you have a smart husband?"

"Something I knew..." Rick smirked at him "thank you though for helping him"

Negan stroked Judith's soft hair as she had closed her eyes, using his leg as a pillow.

"She has taken after you" Negan commented as he remembered Rick falling asleep on him as well.

"Maybe we love getting to sleep on you" Rick joked but he knew that Judith needed to sleep on her bed and not the floor.

Negan picked her up gently and she let out a sleepy sound. Didn't wake up though.

"There you go," Negan said softly as he tucked Judith to bed. Rick covered her and gave his little girl a goodnight kiss.

They left her to sleep and walked out of the room. Rick went to check on Carl as well and gave his son one as well.

Sat on the couch with Negan beside him and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Don't let Dwight make you tired tomorrow, alright?" Negan told him after some moments of not talking. "He'll have to do with me"

"I won't get tired, Negan," Rick said as their eyes met "they just need some guidance, that's all"

"I know but hate having you away from me..." Negan answered with a small pout.

"I'll be back before you even know I'm gone and we'll cuddle as much as you want" Rick promised.

"Will be missing my Grimes," Negan said to him as they kissed gently.

"Will be missing you as well, you asshole" Rick replied with a small smile. "Gonna let Eugene know that we have a second genius in Alexandria when I return..."

Negan laughed and gave Rick a big hug.

"Exactly," he said as they hugged.

Chapter Text

"Do you want me to drive you to the Sanctuary?" Negan asked Rick who was getting ready to leave.

"No, I can drive on my own just fine," Rick said and saw Negan pouting a bit. "Didn't we say to stop being so possessive?"

"We did but can't help it..." Negan answered.

"You'll have Judith as a company and Carl will return from school as well in an hour," Rick told him "hope I won't find the house in ruins when I come back..."

Negan sighed and raised his eyebrow. "Thanks for the trust vote"

Rick chuckled and kissed his husband.

"Don't be like that. You know that I love and trust you. We don't have to be together all the time to do so"

Negan bit his bottom lip. Didn't know why he was so afraid of letting Rick be away from him.

Didn't want Rick though to be feeling suffocated or that he wasn't letting him do things.

"You're right" he admitted and hugged him. "I'm getting paranoid I guess"

"We all get at times but don't worry" Rick tried to reassure him. "I'm all yours. The garden won't be growing without care though. Plus Dwight says he has several things of yours to take back with me"

"Yeah, didn't take everything," Negan said "thank you for doing that for me"

"No problem" Rick smiled at him. Picked up Judith and handed her to Negan as she squealed with happiness. "She loves you already, you'll be just fine"

Negan looked at Judith and held her protectively. Didn't take it lightly that Rick was trusting him with the kids and would try his best to take good care of them while Rick would be at the Sanctuary.

"If you can make something for them to eat," Rick asked of him and Negan nodded. Would be making Spaghetti, his specialty.

"I will Rick, don't worry" he promised and gave Judith a reassuring hug. She was a very calm kid. "Want to go say goodbye to Dad?" Negan asked her.

They walked together outside of the house and Negan looked at the sky. It had several grey clouds.

"Ok," Rick said as he got by the car "Judith you be good for Negan"

Shared one more kiss with Negan and loved how gentle they were.

"Will see you later," he said to Negan from the car's opened window.

"Will be waiting" Negan answered as he met Rick's blue eyes.

Rick nodded and turned on the engine to drive away from Alexandria.

Negan watched the car leaving and felt weird inside of him without knowing why.

"Let's go back inside," he said to Judith as he didn't want the kid to get sick.

It looked like there was a chance of raining.

Chapter Text

Negan tried to occupy himself with making dinner but his mind was on Rick. He should have arrived at the Sanctuary by now. They weren't so close though, Alexandria and the Sanctuary, it was about an hour's drive to go there.

Wanted to be mad at Dwight for making his husband go help with the garden, just one week after they got married, but knew that this garden was important as Alexandria's was as well. Rick knew the most about plants and vegetables, so it made sense to be the one to go help.

Judith was sitting quietly in her chair and Negan walked to her.

"Don't worry, Judy. Dad will be back soon" he said to her as she looked at him.

Negan left his sauce to get cooked slowly as he sat on the couch with Judith in his arms.

"I still remember the first day I met you. Carl didn't want me to go to your room but I did. You were the cutest-looking baby I had ever seen. Rick has to be very proud of you and your big brother"

Just in time Carl opened the door of their house and saw Negan with Judith.

"Hey, kid" Negan greeted him with a smile.

"Hey," Carl said as he closed the door behind him "did my dad leave for the Sanctuary?"

"He did yes" Negan nodded "we will be the three of us until he returns"

"Let me guess...you are making spaghetti?" Carl asked as he rolled his one eye.

"You know me kid," Negan said teasingly. "Know that you love them though"

"They were ok..." Carl drawled but he did like them.

"Go wash your hands and we'll be eating in a while" Negan suggested as he stood up again to finish up his spaghetti.

---

"You need to be gentle with the vegetables," Rick said to some men and women that had volunteered for the garden "they need care and after a while, you'll get to reap the rewards of your patience. I'll be available for any question or help you have and soon the Sanctuary will have a beautiful and big garden full of vegetables"

Rick said that they were done for now and saw Dwight coming his way.

"How did it go?" he asked with concern.

Rick smiled at him. "I see them very willing to learn," he said to reassure Dwight "everything will be alright"

"Thank God" Dwight answered with relief. "Come inside to give you Negan's things and then you better get going because it looks like it's gonna rain soon"

Rick looked at the dark clouds above their heads and nodded. He should head back home before the rain.

Dwight handed him a box full of several things of Negan's when one shirt caught Rick's attention.

It was a plain white t-shirt but someone had written "Rick" on the front and it also had a bullet hole.

Rick raised his eyebrow as he looked at Dwight. He could guess what this shirt was for.

"Why is this shirt with my name on it?" he questioned.

"Erm..." Dwight said uncomfortably "Negan's practice...?"

Rick should have guessed that Negan would have turned a t-shirt into target practice. A shirt that represented himself.

"This was a long time ago" Dwight tried to sugarcoat it and save Negan from Rick's wrath.

"I will make one with Negan's name to practice..." Rick said as he was planning on making Negan pay for this one way or another.

He may love him but wouldn't be letting this pass without making his husband suffer a bit for it.

"You should" Dwight agreed but he could see how much in love Rick was with Negan. No t-shirt would be changing that. Even a bullet target one. "Go back to him Rick"

Rick sighed and nodded. He should go back. This asshole couldn't do without him for long.

"We'll be in touch Dwight," he said as he bid Dwight goodbye.

Chapter Text

Rick started driving back to Alexandria as it was slowly turning dark outside. It had begun raining but it was a light rain so it wouldn't be an issue.

Turned on the music as it was something he enjoyed while driving and especially for so long.

"...𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜, 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙬𝙣, 𝙡𝙚𝙩'𝙨 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙣 𝙂𝙖𝙮𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣... "

Rick thought of his husband and how he should deal with finding that shirt. Couldn't get himself to be mad at Negan despite trying to. No matter what he had done in the past, he was a much different person now. One who was trying for him and the kids a lot. Would be teasing but only that, he decided. Then they would make out and forget about it.

"... 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚, 𝙄'𝙢 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙙𝙤𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣, 𝙄 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮..."

Rick smiled to himself as Negan had been looking at him like an abandoned puppy because he had left for some hours. How could he not love this guy despite it all?

He kept driving, eager to go back to Negan and his kids. Suddenly he saw a dark figure laying in the middle of the road and his eyes widened. Was that a person?

Stopped the car abruptly and turned off both the engine and music.

That person had their back turned on him and was wearing something black from head to toes.

"Help!" the person sobbed out desperately "someone help me!"

Rick frowned as that voice belonged to a woman. He should help her.

Got out of the car fast despite the rain and walked towards that woman.

"Hey," he said "are you injured?" asked with worry.

"You're very kind sir," said the female voice but way more calmly than before. Before he could react, the woman had removed the black cover from her body and was pointing a gun at him.

It was...

"Jadis?" Rick asked as he couldn't believe it. They were both getting wet from the rain but Rick was held at gunpoint.

"You are so easy to fool..." Jadis commented with a smile on her face.

"What the hell do you want from me again?" Rick demanded as he had a very bad feeling inside of him.

"What I should have done from the beginning," she said decisively but didn't explain to him. "How come your Master is not with you?" Jadis mocked.

"Negan is my husband now" Rick answered aggressively "he'll be very pissed off when he finds out that you're back"

"Who said that he'll find out?" Jadis asked "get in the car now and behave like a good submissive should"

"I am not going anywhere with you" Rick snapped at her. Had to escape this situation and maybe hit Jadis with the car.

Jadis removed the safe from the gun and her eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me repeat myself" she threatened.

Rick had enough and decided to make a run for the car.

Managed to reach the door when he felt a pain in his lower stomach. Jadis had shot him.

"Didn't want to do this..." Jadis said as she stood above him while Rick collapsed on the wet road.

Tried to stop the bleeding with his palm as he gasped in agony. He looked at her with fear in his eyes.

Jadis sighed as she wrapped a piece of clothing around his stomach to contain the bleeding.

Grabbed Rick roughly and got him to the car. Rick breathed with great difficulty as he was not feeling well at all.

Jadis shot him a cold glare and turned on the engine.

Her plans were in jeopardy because she got forced to shoot Rick.

Chapter Text

Negan kept staring outside of the window, wondering when Rick would be back. It was raining harder by now so maybe he had opted to stay at the Sanctuary. He sighed as this weird feeling was still inside of him.

Should get Judith ready for sleep though as she had grown tired by now.

He put pajamas on and Judith let out a sleepy sound. Negan put her gently to her bed and gave her a kiss for goodnight.

Carl had invited Enid to their house and were sitting in his room. Negan walked hesitantly towards it as he didn't want to make them embarrassed. Found them talking though.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Negan asked unsurely.

"No we are good" Carl and Enid answered. Negan nodded and thought to go to bed as well as he left them alone.

He laid to their bed and thought of when Rick would return. They would be hugging and telling him how much he had missed him during his absence.

Knew that his situation was bad if he couldn't deal without Rick even for some hours but he absolutely loved his man. Was that really so bad?

Touched the bedsheets on Rick's side of the bed and wished he would be there at this moment. What better way to spend a rainy night than cuddling with his husband after all.

Negan sighed as it seemed unlikely that this would be happening. Rick would have stayed at the Sanctuary. It was safer that way. Maybe he was laying in his old room now, thinking of him as he did.

Put the baby monitor by his side so that he could hear if Judith was crying during the night. Rick was the one to always stand up, no matter how late it was. Should prove that he was worthy of Rick's trust though and his kids were the most precious persons for him.

Thought to close his eyes but he reopened them after like two minutes. Shifted his body on the side and felt upset even though he couldn't pinpoint why.

"You are losing it" Negan mumbled to himself. Knew that his mental health couldn't be dependant on whether Rick was with him or not.

He groaned as he got angry for being so weak. This wasn't a solution to anything.

Tried some breathing exercises he knew and helped him relax.

Everything would look better tomorrow and Rick was going to come back to him as he had promised.

Chapter Text

Rick was trembling as Jadis kept driving. There was nothing he could do to stop her and he was bleeding out.

"You will...pay for this" Rick let out as he had intense pain.

Jadis shot him a glare from the rear mirror.

"All you had to do was to be obedient. Now shut up. You will be even weaker by the time we reach our destination if you keep talking"

Rick sobbed as he thought of what would be happening to him. A tear rolled down his cheek. Negan wouldn't know what had happened and there was a big chance they'd never see each other again, especially if he died from the blood loss.

That sadistic woman. Whenever she came into his life, was causing pain and suffering. His poor kids...what would they do without him. Wished that Negan would support them. Didn't know who would be supporting Negan though. His heart was breaking as he thought of their situation.

There was nothing he could do to escape. Was weak and tired. So damn tired...

Felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness as Jadis kept on driving in the rain.

After a while, the car came to a stop and Rick tried hard to open his eyes. Needed to know what she would be doing to him.

Jadis opened the door and got out.

"He is in the car" Rick heard her saying to someone.

Steps approached the car and Rick felt himself tensing up. There was a man in a black military suit who was holding a big gun.

He watched helplessly as this person was obviously gonna take him.

"You call that an A?" the man asked Jadis. His voice was cold.

"He is an A" Jadis protested "got forced to shoot him"

"This wasn't the deal, Jadis"

"Save him and you'll see" Jadis tried to persuade him.

There was a silence and the man spoke again.

"We will take him, but you're not coming with us. Find a healthy A and then you can come. This bag has bullets and supplies. When you find an A worthy of our time, be in touch"

"What?! No, you can't do that to me!" Jadis said in anger.

"We can" the man answered coldly "next time you make us take a helicopter out for non-important reasons, there will be consequences. Don't mess with the CRM"

Chapter Text

Two soldiers got a grip on Rick and they forced him out of the car in the rain. The man that Jadis had been talking to, lifted his shirt to examine the damage with a flashlight.

Rick felt his blood running cold when he saw a black helicopter behind them. His nightmares were becoming a reality.

"No!" he yelled as he struggled to release himself. If he didn't do it now, it would be too late. Was very weak but he had to try his hardest. "You can't take me!"

"We can actually," said the guy in front of him "from now and on you belong to the CRM"

"What the hell is the CRM?!" Rick asked as he kept struggling. It was so painful but there was no other choice.

"You'll see. Now stop struggling. Don't want you to die on the way back home" he motioned to his men to make Rick get moving.

Rick saw Jadis looking at him and she was held back by another soldier to not get on the helicopter. They were some steps away from the helicopter when Rick kicked the one soldier with his elbow and attempted to run away.

"Cuff him" ordered the man that had been talking to him, clearly annoyed by what was going on. They put on some handcuffs that looked very futuristic. Rick couldn't do anything anymore but cry as they made him get on the helicopter.

"As we said Jadis. An A that is healthy or forget the dream of becoming a part of the CRM. You're gonna spend the rest of your life here, roaming around..."

Jadis looked at him with hatred but there was nothing she could do but watch them.

"Lay him here" the man commanded he showed a free space inside the helicopter. Rick sobbed in pain as he was made to lay down with his hands cuffed.

It was still raining pretty hard outside and he was feeling cold. So cold.

"Chris," he said to one soldier "make sure he won't die until we reach CRM"

The soldier nodded and came back with several medical things.

Rick felt exhaustion getting to him and looked blurrily as his shirt got lifted again.

Didn't even realize it when the helicopter started taking height because he passed out.

Only one thing was on his mind. He was never gonna see the people he loved and cared for again.

Chapter Text

"What do you mean that he left from the Sanctuary yesterday, Dwight?" Negan demanded as his worst fears were getting confirmed. It had been two hours since he woke up and Rick hadn't shown up yet. So he picked up a walkie-talkie and called Dwight.

"He did, Negan" Dwight said in confusion "left before getting dark outside in fact. How is it possible to not be back yet?"

Negan felt himself tearing up and let out a sob.

"I'm sure that there will be an explanation, Negan" Dwight tried to comfort him.

"I am a terrible person..." Negan sobbed harder though.

"You're not a terrible person" Dwight protested as it was heartbreaking to hear Negan like that.

"My husband disappeared and I had been sleeping. So don't tell me that I'm not!" Negan said in anger.

"How could you have known exactly?" Dwight questioned to snap him out of blaming himself "we will all search for him. Maybe something happened and the car broke down"

"I will lose my mind if I don't find him soon" Negan replied with tears in his eyes.

Turned off the walkie-talkie. Would be going out there right now to look for him.

Saw Michonne on his way to Rick's house and wanted to find her so that she would look after Judith during his absence either way.

Michonne was about to greet him but froze when she saw him crying.

"What happened Negan?" she asked immediately.

Negan swallowed hard and tried to speak normally.

"Rick left from the Sanctuary yesterday to return here but he never did. Will go to search the whole distance between Alexandria and the Sanctuary. Don't know if he..."

Michonne's eyes widened in shock as she teared up as well.

"What could have happened to him?" she asked.

"Don't know..." Negan answered almost inaudibly. "Can you please stay with Judith?"

"Of course" she nodded instantly "go look for him"

Negan turned his back on Michonne to hide the fresh tears that had appeared in his eyes.

Chapter Text

"Gonna find your Dad, Judy..." Negan said to her while feeling very emotional. Carl was at school so he didn't know about his father yet. He exchanged one last look with Michonne and got out of the house. Had to take one car and go look for Rick.

He sighed as it was very hard to not cry again. Rick would never make him worry so much, so something serious happened to him. Drove out of Alexandria with a heavy feeling in his heart.

Would be going to the Sanctuary and back again as many times as they were required to find either Rick or his car.

Looked outside of the window and it was still a moody day with grey clouds but it wasn't raining like yesterday.

Recalled Rick telling him goodbye and he felt inside of him like it was a permanent one. Like something terrible had happened and they wouldn't be seeing each other again.

"What happened to you, Rick?" Negan asked himself and the empty car as he sobbed again.

Was halfway through to the Sanctuary when he saw something red on the road.

Stopped the car and hurried out. Knelt and there was some dried blood on the grey road.

"Rick! Rick!" Negan yelled with pain in his voice. He got no answer though. Only silence.

Got on his knees and his hot tears mixed with the blood. Rick's blood most likely.

It wasn't some drops of blood. It was a lot. So it wasn't some minor injury.

Was Rick even alive? Where was the car?

Negan heard the sounds of cars and saw Dwight and some other Saviors that had gone out to look as well.

Dwight frowned when he noticed him in this mess and hurried to him. Saw the blood as well and his eyes widened.

"You think that this blood is Rick's?" he asked as he was in denial.

"Don't know Dwight...don't know...I'm so afraid for him" Negan said as he sat down on the road. His eyes kept on the blood. "Something happened here last night"

"We've done this route countless times and it's safe. No Walkers, anything. Don't get what could have happened to him..." Dwight said in frustration.

"Me neither" Negan replied as his eyes were red from the crying. "You shouldn't have said to him to come yesterday"

"Look, I know that you're devastated but how is this my fault?" Dwight asked but he wasn't mad at Negan's accusation. Knew that he wasn't well right now. "He wanted to come. Didn't make him"

Negan sighed as Dwight was right. Rick did want to go, couldn't have locked the door and make him stay in the house.

"I am sorry" he apologized to Dwight "it's just...I miss him so much"

"I know that you do Negan," Dwight said to him with understanding "no one wants him to have gotten hurt. Was eager to come back to you yesterday. I am sure that whatever happened was something unexpected even for him"

"Will find out what happened here yesterday," Negan said decisively "Tears won't be bringing him back home. Actions will. We are gonna search every inch of the whole road between Alexandria and the Sanctuary. Everywhere. Won't stop until we save him"

Dwight nodded. "Gonna bring more men to help" he promised.

They looked at each other with determination. Wouldn't leave Rick on his own.

Chapter Text

Νegan spend his whole day out searching for Rick but as it was almost dark outside Dwight said that they would be forced to stop looking.

"Go back home," Negan said "I'm staying"

"Negan you can't, it's dangerous at night. How will you help Rick if you get hurt?" Dwight tried to explain to him.

"Can't leave him out here" Negan replied as he shook his head in denial. They had been looking all day long and nothing except the dried blood on the road. There could have been more but the rain washed it away.

"I know Negan, but what more can you do? We continue early in the morning. I'm begging you, return to Alexandria. Rick's family is gonna need you"

Negan stared at the dark empty road and felt hopeless. There was nothing he could do to save Rick. That was the bitter truth.

Dwight sighed as Negan was very upset.

"Amongst your things yesterday," Dwight started "was that T-shirt you'd made with Rick's name on it. When you used to pretend that the shirt was Rick, remember? He saw it and was quite mad. Said that he'd make a shirt with your name as well to practice. But even then, I could see the love in his eyes and care"

Negan felt weak and vulnerable. He was nothing without Rick. Had found happiness, only to have it get taken away so violently.

"I will never forgive myself if he's harmed or worse dead. Never" Negan said as he turned his back on Dwight to go back to the car.

He got in and took a minute to find the strength to start driving. Dwight was right. The kids needed him. If it wasn't for them, he would drive the car off a cliff or something.

Life without Rick was so painful. It was like losing Lucille all over again. Maybe he was cursed, to lose the persons that meant the world to him.

Turned on the engine and started driving with tears drying on his cheeks. Kept looking around while driving as if Rick would appear in front of him. Alive and healthy, with that smile he loved so much.

Would keep searching and doing everything in his powers to find him. Maybe Rick had gotten injured and found a shelter somewhere.

There had to be an explanation for his disappearance and he was going to find it.

Recalled when he first saw Rick in the line-up and got informed that the man that was shaking like a leaf in front of him was the leader. Thought that someone had to be joking.

Then he had Rick at the Sanctuary, brought there forcefully, and came to realize that was far from weak. Had gone through so much and yet he never gave up.

Just wished that he wouldn't give up now either, no matter what had happened.

Chapter Text

Negan entered Rick's house tiredly and saw Michonne walking down the stairs as she had just put Judith to sleep.

"Did you find anything?" she asked with concern.

Negan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"Some blood on the road. Don't know if it's Rick's though"

Michonne teared up and Negan had no clue what to say to comfort her.

"Go to your home to rest. Will wake up early to continue searching with Dwight and the others" Negan said to her.

Michonne bid him goodbye and left as it was dark outside by now.

Negan walked to Carl's room and found him curled on his bed. Was red-faced from all that crying.

He turned to look at him and Negan sat at the edge of his bed.

"How are you Carl?" he asked with concern.

"I miss him so much..." the kid sobbed out and Negan sighed as he was feeling the same things as Carl.

"He would want us to be brave right now," Negan said to him as he knew that it was the truth "I promise to keep looking for him and we'll find him sooner or later"

"Thank you for trying so much..." Carl mumbled and Negan leaned in for a hug.

"Have you eaten anything?" Negan asked as he wiped some fresh tears from his eyes.

Carl shook his head negatively and Negan stood up.

"Will make you an omelet, you stay here and relax"

He covered Carl with a blanket to be more comfortable and walked out of the room.

Wanted to check on Judith as well and got to her room. She couldn't understand what was going on but he had no doubts that she knew that her Dad was not here. These poor kids. Had done nothing wrong and yet they had to suffer once again without Rick there.

Negan stroked Judith's blonde hair gently as she was sleeping in her crib.

Imagined Rick sitting on the carpeted floor as they had done two days ago. "𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪", Rick had said.

He sat down at the same spot that Rick had been sitting on.

"Come back Rick" he cried out "can't do this without you..."

He sobbed quietly as he thought of Rick being somewhere out there.

Chapter Text

It was very late at night but Negan couldn't sleep. Should have done something, anything. To prevent Rick from going out there on his own. Could have gone with Michonne or Daryl. Didn't have to be himself if Rick felt like he was being possessive. His husband would be back home if that was the case.

He stood up and got that picture of Rick, Carl, and Lori. They looked so happy, unaware of the tragedies the Apocalypse would bring. The only recent pictures of Rick were the ones of him as a prisoner, beaten up and in pain.

Had destroyed them all either way. Wished he could have a picture of them together from their wedding day. One week. That's how long their happiness had lasted.

Sat back on the bed and looked at Rick's photo with bitterness. Rick knew it better than him as a former Sheriff's Deputy that if 48 hours passed without a sign of life, then things were not good for the missing person.

It had been more than a day already. Then there was the blood on the road. If he had gotten injured severely, he couldn't keep on driving, right? So where was the car?

So many questions and zero answers. Negan saw that the drawer of Rick's bedside table was a bit pulled. Sat up again and walked to it. Pulled it a bit more and saw a folded piece of paper. What could that be? He got it out and started reading.

"...I just want to feel happy at last, you know? You do make me happy. There's no one else I would rather be with (no, not Michonne as you had been bugging me...).

I guess at the end of the day, you'll always be you and I'll be me. You with Lucille, me with the Python. Even with that black leather jacket, you're insisting on wearing it all the time. Carl is gonna get annoyed with your attitude and Judith will keep loving her uncle Negan. Even when she grows up.

You'll always be there to comfort me when having a nightmare at night and I'll be by your side when sick. Will even learn to cook for you. Real soups, not canned ones.

Seems like a dream but it's so close, I know that it is. Gonna tear up at our wedding when you show up with that bright smile of yours.

As for this letter, just wanted to express some thoughts. Don't even know if I'll give it to you. Maybe after the wedding. If everything goes well. Just wanted you to know that I love you. Love you a lot. I know that you do too..."

Negan couldn't hold back his tears at reading the letter that Rick had written for him. He was writing that he loved him and that he had been happy by his side. Now it was all lost most likely. Would never be happy again without his Rick.

"...Maybe life will never be as before the Apocalypse but it can be close to that. We can make it. Together.

Yours,
Rick Grimes (or the Prick)..."

Negan laid to bed as he held the letter carefully to his chest. This letter was the only thing to remind him that what he had with Rick was real and not some dream his mind had made up. He kept crying until he fell asleep from the emotional rollercoaster he'd been through.

Hoping that somehow Rick would still be alive...

Chapter Text

Rick blinked his eyes and everything felt so painful. Realized that he was stitched up to where Jadis had shot him, hence still being alive. Looked around him and saw bars.

On his left, right, and above his head. There were several other cells next to his. They all had one single bed for the prisoners and that was it. He was also tied up with rope. Negan knew that the rope was hurting him...

He cried in pain and sadness. Didn't even care if he was being heard when a guard came his way.

"Hey you!" he said aggressively "shut up with the crying"

Rick shot him a look and wanted to sob more loudly. The guard narrowed his eyes on him though and Rick sobbed quietly instead.

Turned to his side with a small gasp as he looked at the rusty bars. Was wearing a grey T-shirt and black sweatpants.

Who knows what they had done while he was unconscious or how much time had passed. Would they have realized that he had gone missing by now? Most likely yes. No matter how much they'd try, it would be impossible to realize what had happened to him. Only Jadis knew what she had done to him. How she had destroyed his happiness, his whole damned life.

Wished that Negan and his kids could feel that he was alive. In a very rough space and locked up, but alive. If he could regain some of his strength, perhaps he'd manage to escape. Laid on his back again as his side was killing him and looked at his tied-up hands.

They had not been gentle with him as Negan was. It was wrapped up tightly against his wrists. As if his stomach hurting wasn't enough, he had to suffer the pain of being tied up like that as well.

"...Someone else could have caught you instead. Should keep that in mind. You don't have to like it, but that's how it goes..."

Rick recalled Negan saying to him during the first days of his imprisonment. Would never think that someone else would get to do the same and this time there would be no happy ending like with Negan. Only pain and suffering.

Wished that his husband would be strong for the kids and the rest of Alexandrians. They needed him more than ever before. As for himself, maybe he was meant to be captured and kept locked up. He closed his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Miss you Negan so much," he thought to himself.

Chapter Text

Negan walked tiredly downstairs and saw Carl already up from bed, holding Judith in his arms.

"You look like shit..." Carl said but he looked very upset as well and Negan knew that it was the truth. Had not slept well. Was tossing and turning all night. Doubted that he'd ever sleep peacefully again without his Rick.

"I know..." Negan sighed "will leave to keep looking. You eat and go to school alright?"

"Want to come with you" the kid protested and Negan walked closer to him.

"Please Carl" he tried to explain to him "go to school. That's what your Dad would want as well. I promise to look as hard as possible for him"

"But..." Carl mumbled in a grievance.

"Do what I'm telling you" Negan told him as he knew that this was the right thing "Michonne will come to look after Judith"

Negan moved closer and gave them both a hug.

"Love you both and I know that I'm not like your Dad, far from it, but will try my best..." Negan sobbed as a tear rolled down his cheek. "To bring him home and to keep you safe"

"Dada..." Judith said with sadness and Negan felt his heart aching.

"Dada is not here, Judy," Negan told her as he picked her in his arms "will be though soon. Would never stay willingly away from you"

Judith cried as well and Negan tried to comfort her.

Made her the milk formula and sat down to feed her. Needed to have these moments with her. Couldn't replace the love that Rick was giving but he wanted to be there for her.

"Your Dad is a very brave man Judy," Negan said emotionally "wanted so much to give you a big hug all that time he was away. Will do the same again, I'm sure that he will..." he choked out.

"Egan" Judith answered as she stared at him intensely.

"That's me..." Negan repeated and gave her another hug.

Carl came back with his school bag in hand. Looked at them and was hesitant to leave.

"Will see you at night Carl, I promise," Negan said to him "hope that we'll have more luck today..."

Carl sighed but nodded.

"Hope so too or I'll lose my mind..." he mumbled and walked out of the house.

Negan glared at Judith who had gotten sleepy after eating and being upset.

Kissed her on the forehead and felt like he owed to Rick to be strong enough for his kids.

No matter what had happened to his husband.

Chapter Text

Rick had to lay on his back since it hurt too much to be shifting his body on either side. The other prisoners were all silent as well as there were guards to prevent them from talking to each other. Not that Rick was in a mood to be saying anything.

His wrists felt numb at this point since they insisted on keeping them tied up even though they were all in cells. Rick looked at the guards and could see that they had weapons to be putting them in order if it was needed. Highly doubted that someone had ever managed to escape from that place, seeing how organized they were.

Suddenly he heard a metal door opening and someone getting dragged into the cell's area.

"No!" the person yelled, "don't put me in there!"

They ignored him and was tossed in the cell next to Rick's. Rick saw that he was a young man with short brown, curly hair.

He stood up immediately and ran for the door before it was locked in his face. One soldier gave him a small electric shock to get him away from the door.

"Stand back!" the guard ordered him. "You are imprisoned by orders of Elizabeth Kublek. Will be staying in this cell until she decides your fate"

"Tell her to go to hell!" the man spat out in anger.

The guard narrowed his eyes on him and reopened the door of the cell.

"What did you just say?" he asked threateningly.

"That this bitch should rot in hell! Go tell her that!" the prisoner said as he stood his ground.

Two other guards appeared and surrounded the prisoner.

"Three against one huh?" the man scoffed "classic CRM..."

They all got taser sticks out and before he could defend himself they started hitting him with them mercilessly.

Rick shrank in fear as the prisoner next to his cell fell to the ground in pain from getting electrocuted.

Heard him sobbing loudly as they kicked him with their legs as well.

When they made sure that he was beaten up, one guard pulled the same handcuffs they had put on him and cuffed the prisoner to the bed who couldn't fight back anymore.

The door of the cell got locked again and the guard pressed the taser just so they could all see the sparks of electricity.

"Behave or else you will be having the same fate" the guard threatened them.

Rick swallowed hard as this was far worse than he would have ever imagined. So much worse...

Chapter Text

Negan looked at the mountains with bitterness. How would he go back to Alexandria and say to his family that he didn't manage to find Rick once again? It was like all the signs of Rick had disappeared after the blood he found on the road.

"What happened to you Rick?" he sobbed out as he was feeling inconsolable. Knew that there were many monsters out there except the Walkers. What if they caught Rick and made him their slave or kept him as a prisoner? He could be suffering at the hands of someone else right now and he was unable to save him.

Got inside his car and let himself cry hard. If he had just returned him home and not imprison Rick in the first place, perhaps none of this would have happened.

Rick would be there for his kids who needed him so much and he'd be happy. With someone else. Since they met, only bad things were happening to Rick.

How they'd move on from this? If Rick had died, they wouldn't even be able to give him a proper burial. His body would stay out there in the wilderness and if he was alive, would be suffering at the hands of someone else.

Negan felt useless. A total failure. Rick should be very disappointed for not managing to protect him as he was supposed to do.

Dwight and the others had tried to offer him words of comfort that Rick would be found but he could feel it inside of him. Something terrible happened to him that night.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and turned on the engine. Should return to Alexandria and try his best to support the kids. He owed it to Rick.

Wasn't planning on giving up searching but he was losing his hope that there was a chance that his husband would be found.

It was a dangerous world they lived in and especially Rick had been through a lot. It was breaking his heart to imagine him all alone, trying to fend for himself.

Kept on driving back to Alexandria when he saw a Walker coming out of the woods. Slowed the car down and froze. This Walker looked like his Rick. Stopped the car immediately and got out. The Walker kept growling as Negan approached it.

Didn't even care about the danger that he was putting himself into. All he wanted to see was if this Walker was the person he loved the most in his miserable life.

The Walker growled more loudly and attacked him to take a bite out of his skin. Negan sobbed as he fought back. Pulled his knife out and pressed it to its head with tears in his eyes.

The Walker fell to the ground, lifeless. He tried to catch his breath again as he looked at it.

This wasn't Rick. Felt like he was having a panic attack and his legs couldn't hold him any longer. Sat at the road next to the dead Walker feeling lost.

Everything was just pointless without Rick. That's all he knew...

Chapter Text

Rick was wondering if they would let them starve to death. Didn't have anything to eat for a day he had been in that cell and remained tied up. Their guards were nowhere to be seen after he heard a door getting locked.

Maybe at night, they were leaving the prisoners alone, not that he knew for sure if it was nighttime or not though. Shifted his body with great difficulty and looked at the younger man next to his cell that had been beaten up earlier.

"Hey..." Rick let out, very hesitantly. Knew that they weren't supposed to be talking but perhaps he could find out something. Anything, that would indicate where he was.

The man looked at him, clearly surprised that his fellow prisoner was talking to him.

"Hi..." he mumbled as he looked at Rick's blue eyes.

"I'm Rick, what's your name?"

"Barca..." the man responded as he stared at his cuffed hands with bitterness. "So...what did you do to them?"

"I was taken away from my home and put forcefully in a helicopter..."

"That's what they do" Barca replied like it was something common.

"You make it a habit around here to imprison people?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"The CRM does. These are the people that caught you and I was one of them"

Rick's eyes widened. "Then what are you doing in a cell as well?"

"I didn't agree with their methods anymore" Barca answered "and now I'm paying the price as you can see"

"All I need is to get the hell out of here and go back to my family as they'll be worried sick for me..." Rick said as it was the truth.

"You can't leave" Barca announced "no one has. The only way out is with the helicopters and they are heavily guarded"

Rick let some tears fall from his eyes as he looked at the rusty bars.

"What you're saying is that I'll never get to see them again?" Rick asked as sadness filled him up.

"I'm not saying that, since you might be able to escape...be the first one to do so. I hope so, don't get me wrong, but just stating some facts. This place that we are in right now is called CRM's Health & Welfare Complex. Do you see the "health and welfare"? Because I don't..."

Rick laid on his back again as he was feeling despair already.

"The best you can do..." Barca added with a low tone "...is to forget them and move on. Try to stay alive. One way or another, they will force us to do whatever they want. The memories you shared, will be a huge weight on you instead of helpful..."

How could he forget his husband? His kids? Alexandria?

He simply couldn't...

Chapter Text

5 months later.

"No! Please, don't hurt him!"

"Negan! Wake up!"

Negan woke up abruptly to Carl shaking his arm. He was breathing heavily and had tears in his eyes.

"You were having a nightmare..." Carl said to him as Negan could be heard throughout the whole house. Thankfully Judith didn't wake up as well.

"Go back to bed Carl" Negan answered as he wiped his tears "I'm sorry for waking you up"

"Don't want you to be sorry Negan" Carl mumbled as he stood up from the bed "I...we...want you to be ok..."

Negan had to keep himself not break down crying again. He was never gonna be ok. Never again.

"Go to sleep" he repeated instead and Carl did so hesitantly. Knew that when Negan was in his very dark moments, they just couldn't communicate.

Negan stared at the dark room. It was silent and empty. So damn empty. Like it had been for the last five months.

Had been searching so hard and nothing. Rick had vanished. From everyone that ever loved and cared for him. Was never coming back to them. To him.

Laid back down to their bed and sobbed hard. Had been an absolute mess. Carl was right to be worried but there was nothing he could do to snap out of his grief.

Gabriel had even put together a group therapy to deal with their loss. That didn't help him either. Every time he was going out, was replaying Rick in his mind telling him goodbye and saying that he was gonna see him in a couple of hours.

The hours turned to weeks and the weeks to months. Nothing made sense anymore. Was just keeping himself alive because it would destroy the kids if he was going to leave them as well.

Stood up again and walked closer to a drawer. Pulled out the camera that his men had found on the first days of him coming to Alexandria. Needed to see Rick. Even like that.

"...but that's not you anymore, isn't it?" heard himself saying as he was filming Rick who was staring at the ground with a sore expression.

He has turned the camera towards himself and had answered "Nope".

Didn't want to see himself. Only for Rick, he cared. Replayed the video and paused it at Rick's face.

Touched the screen, wishing that Rick could feel that he was there. He didn't forget about him. How much he was missing him...

"Rick..." he chocked out "come back to us...I'm nothing without you. An empty shell..."

Rick was not coming back though. Had five months to do so and it never happened.

Was just condemned to live without the person he loved. Knowing very well that he was the one that allowed this to happen.

Chapter Text

Carl found Negan feeding Judith her milk formula and sighed. The way Negan was looking at his sister, was breaking his heart.

"Good morning..." he said to Negan and sat opposite him.

"Morning..." Negan answered. It was clear that he was as miserable as the night before and so many other nights.

It was a Saturday so Carl didn't have school. Wanted to persuade Negan to go do something, the three of them. A heavy cloud had covered their house but they were still alive. Couldn't keep living like the dead for much longer.

"Was thinking that we could go to that museum you had been talking about, with the dinosaurs...?" Carl suggested.

Negan felt his heart beating faster when he remembered the museum. His first-ever date with Rick...

"Don't know Carl" he answered in denial. Didn't want to go to yet another place that would remind him of his missing husband.

"You are quite selfish, know that?" Carl answered and his one eye narrowed "you may don't want to go but I do. Judith can't be staying indoors all the time either. Can't you do that for us?"

"Ask your uncle Daryl to take you then" Negan replied defensively despite knowing that Carl was not to blame.

"Don't want to go with Daryl but with you!" Carl protested "you're our stepfather. Start acting like it"

"I don't deserve that title. Nor being considered a Grimes" Negan sobbed as he couldn't control it anymore.

"Yes, you do" Carl insisted "please Negan, I'm begging you. Let's go to the museum. We all need it. After that, I promise that we'll all be staying in if that's what you need"

"It's so hard for me..." Negan whispered as he hid his face in his palms. "All I knew in my life was to kill with the baseball bat, threaten and punish. Until I came across your Dad and now I'm so lost without him"

"It's been very rough for all of us," Carl said "but we can't keep up like that. He wouldn't want it..."

Negan sighed as he knew that Rick wouldn't want them to continue living in pain and misery.

"Get dressed," he said to Carl eventually "will take care of Judith myself. We are going to the museum..."

Carl stood up as he walked to Negan's and Judith's side of the table.

"My Dad would be very proud of you," he said to Negan and left to go put his clothes on.

Negan looked down at Judith as he hugged her. Knew that he had been neglecting their fun. He may have been helping Carl with homework or playing with Judith's dolls but it wasn't enough.

"Let's get you dressed Judy" Negan mumbled as he stood up "will be going out with your big brother".

Chapter Text

"You see these? These can produce waves of electricity. It will shock your whole body. Not a pleasurable experience. I know that some of you already know how it feels like. You are to stay in your cells 24/7 until it's decided what will be happening to all of you. No talks are allowed between prisoners"

A door got unlocked and clapping was heard.

"Couldn't have explained it better myself" a woman said as praise while clapping with her hands. "Excellent job, lieutenant Grimes".

Rick faced her and saluted immediately.

"Thank you, Maam," he said.

Elizabeth smiled at him and looked at the scared persons inside the cells.

"Behave and you have nothing to be afraid of. Many of us started from the same cells that you're in right now and look at them now..." she looked in Rick's direction with pride.

Rick glared at the taser stick that he was holding and had to stop himself from showing his trembling hands.

---
5 months earlier.

"Agh!" Rick yelled in pain. "Stop it, please!"

"We saved your life and it's time to pay us back!" was the answer he got.

"I'm not telling you anything" Rick snapped despite his pain from the multiple electrocutions.

"Jadis slipped up that you have a family. Say where they are hiding and we'll bring them here, to keep you company"

"I don't have anyone," Rick said as he gasped. Would rather die than see his family suffering as well.

"You are a pathetic liar. We hate liars around here"

"Torture me all you want" Rick replied with coldness in his blue eyes.

Felt another wave of electricity inside of him and screamed.

"Jadis is crazy for saying that you're an A. If there was a C category that's where you'd be. Absolutely ridiculous. Should have let you bleed out"

"What I know is that you'll all die," Rick said which earned him another stroke of electricity.

"Throw him to a cell, all alone. Will get back to this piece of shit later. Torturing prisoners makes me hungry" it was ordered and they took Rick violently to move him to the cell.

Chapter Text

"I see you're learning how to treat prisoners..." Rick heard a voice saying behind his back. Had just locked the prison for the night and was heading to go sleep.

Rick turned around and it was Axel. The same guy that had tortured him as well. Tried to control his anger and answer.

"I do know how to treat them. Learned from the best" Rick said.

"You did" Axel smirked at him "took us some time to break you but after Barca, things changed drastically with you. Showed us your true colors. That you're an A. I almost feel bad for not allowing Jadis to come with us but she still has time to earn her stay here if she gives us enough prisoners by the end of the month"

"Barca deserved what he got" Rick answered as his eyes narrowed "fooled him enough that I was on his side and did what I had to do"

"Exactly" Axel nodded "keep doing what you have to and you'll soon be top-ranked with the skills you have"

---

"Rick, wake up," someone said to him urgently as he shook Rick by the arm.

Rick was feeling very weak after his torture but opened up his eyes.

"Barca?" he asked in surprise "how did you get out and opened my cell as well?"

"Tricked one guard and locked him in the cell after knocking him out" Barca explained, "come on, have to take you to your family buddy..."

Rick felt hope inside of him for the very first time. He stood up with a small gasp. Had to try for Negan and his kids. They could get the hell out of here at last.

Walked carefully with Barca who knew the CRM very well. There were two guards for the helicopters since it was nighttime.

"We can take them out" Barca whispered to Rick who nodded. Wasn't in the best shape but should fight.

They managed to take out the one and Rick attacked the second guard.

"You will not get away!" the guard said as Rick put pressure on his throat.

Barca took the gun from the unconscious guard and used it to knock him out as well.

They ran to the helicopters and Barca got in.

"Do you know how to fly it?" Rick asked as there were way too many switches.

"I don't," Barca said in frustration "will manage it though"

"You two!" they heard a guard yelling at them "we have a breach, I repeat we have a breach!"

"No!" Barca let out in agony. They couldn't get caught again.

Tried the buttons but the helicopter just wouldn't turn on.

More guards showed up and pointed the guns at them.

"What are we going to do?" Rick asked as there was no escaping as it seemed.

"You are going to kill me," Barca said to him after a minute of thinking "you'll gain their trust"

"What?!" Rick asked in shock "no if they lock us up we can escape. Death is irreversible"

"They will never trust me again. Not when Elizabeth is in charge. If you get me out of the way they will though" Barca explained urgently as they were being told to get out of the helicopter and surrender.

Got out with his hands raised and Rick did the same beside him.

"Drop the weapon now!" Axel ordered.

"Sure thing," Barca said and attempted to attack Rick.

Barca didn't even resist when Rick dodged the attack and threw him to the ground.

"Sir, should we shoot?" one asked.

"No, I want to see what they will do," Axel said as the two prisoners fighting were interesting to him.

Rick took hold of the gun that had fallen from Barca's hands and saw him nodding.

Took in a trembling breath as Barca kept eye contact with him.

"Do it" he saw Barca saying, so lowly that no one could hear them.

Rick didn't want to do this but he had to. It was the only way to trust him as Barca had said.

Shot him to the head and it was over. Barca was dead.

"Why did you do that?" Axel asked as he couldn't understand.

Rick looked at him with coldness in his eyes.

"As you had been saying to me, traitors should get punished. That's exactly what I did"

Rick threw the gun next to Barca's dead body. Got on his knees as he surrendered to Axel and his men.

Chapter Text

"Your father liked it here..." Negan mumbled with sadness as the memories came back to him "knew so many things about dinosaurs since they were your favorites when you were younger..." he said to Carl who felt bad for pressuring him so much.

"Sorry for making you come back here..." Carl apologized as he glared at the floor.

Negan sighed and hugged them both.

"The most important persons left in my life, are you, Carl. I've not been there for you when you need more support than myself. Were right for telling me off kid. Promise that I'll try for you. For our family" Negan said emotionally.

"You are screaming at nights...having nightmares...I don't want you to be suffering. He wouldn't either..."

Negan wiped a tear from his cheek as he took a shaky breath.

"No, he wouldn't. I will get through it...eventually. This poor kid I'm afraid for, that needs her Dad" Negan glared at Judith with concern.

The kid was relatively calm with him but having her Dad was much different. Didn't know what effects could have in her overall psychology.

"Everyone at Alexandria will support her growing up, I'll always be there for her as well," Carl said decisively as he knew that he had to step up in these difficult times.

"That is the kid that impressed the hell out of me" Negan replied, filled up with emotions. Carl had matured so much since the time he was at the Sanctuary, shooting his men.

Carl offered him a slight smile and he looked around at the empty museum.

"So...will you give us a tour?" he asked Negan hopefully.

Negan put Judith on his shoulders so that she could see as well and nodded.

"Of course, kid" Negan answered. Rick wasn't there anymore but two important parts of him were and he was not gonna keep taking this lightly.

He had to move on. For their sake and well-being, if not anything else.

Chapter Text

Rick laid to bed and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't recognize himself anymore. Had executed Barca without hesitation. Because Barca had urged him to do it and yet he had complied.Had the whole life ahead of him. Should have been the one to live, not himself. Rick sobbed as tears rolled down his cheeks.

The guilts were haunting him, especially at night. In his small room that he had been given due to showing his devotion to them. To the CRM and Elizabeth.

Glared at the taser stick and despised himself. Had not used it to anyone despite threatening to do so. Felt like he would be dirting Barca's memory even more if he got forced to be violent towards the prisoners. Had realized that there was no escaping.

The pilots were very few and very carefully selected. Axel was still very suspicious of him and there was no way they would allow for him to get trained as a pilot.

His life was just pointless. There was no getting away and what he had done was unforgivable. Covered himself with the thin blanket and kept on crying. That's how he was coping. Waited the whole day just to get back to his bed and cry himself to sleep.

Had been tortured for weeks. Left without food and water. Then he had killed the one person to who he had come close. Now he was stuck with Axel taunting him whenever he pleased.

His mind drifted off to Negan. What would he say if he saw him now? Never dared to say his husband's name or his kids out loud. They would catch and bring them there as well. Knew that most of the prisoners ended up being experimented on. They were searching for the cure to the apocalypse. While torturing people.

Jadis was yet to come to the compound. Maybe it would happen at the end of the month, as Axel said. If they were happy with the new prisoners. Promised himself that he would get his hands on her and make Jadis have a painful death. As she had done to him. It wouldn't give him his freedom back but he had to do it.

Only that was left. Then, they could as well execute him at last. He deserved it and knew it very well.

His old life was gone and there would be no happy ending for him.

Chapter Text

"Thank you for today, we had a good time me and Judith," Carl said to Negan as he had laid to bed for the night.

"I have to thank you for making me go out...take my mind off for a bit" Negan answered as he covered Carl with another blanket. "I shouldn't have made you feel like that. We are a family and we should be acting like it"

"I miss him Negan..." Carl chocked out as he sat up.

Negan teared up at the kid's distress.

"Miss him too Carl, every day, every moment..."

"What if he got captured by someone?" Carl asked miserably "there are many psychos out there. We would have found his car at least by now"

"There is a big possibility that that's what happened" Negan mumbled in despair "they could have trafficked him by now or who knows what else and I can't do anything to save Rick"

Carl cried hard as his body rocked.

"Why would someone do that?" he asked as he couldn't understand.

"For the same reasons I did it, I guess..." Negan said with pain in his voice "want a slave or to gain something from it. I will be very careful with you and your sister as you should be as well. Know that soon you'll be your own man but can't allow anyone to get you as well, you hear me?"

Carl swallowed hard and nodded.

"You won't lose us, will be careful"

Negan sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Gonna keep looking for him. Won't give up. No matter how much time is needed" he promised. "It lasted only a week but he is my husband and won't be letting him on his own"

"Hope that he will be found, alive..." Carl mumbled as he laid back to bed.

"Hope so too..." Negan said in a low tone as he gave Carl a goodnight kiss and made sure that he was comfortable.

Walked to the semi-dark kitchen and sat at a chair with a glass of whiskey in front of him.

Was drinking often when the kids were sleeping. It was one of his ways of coping. Knew that it was a bad coping method but it was helping him.

Recalled himself and Rick, making love. Their gentle kisses. Rick's blue eyes meeting his.

All that seemed so far away now...

Chapter Text

"Negan?" Michonne asked as she approached the bench that he had been sitting on.

It was still early in the morning and had gone out to take some fresh air while the kids were still sleeping.

"May I sit with you?" she added hesitantly.

Negan sighed and nodded.

"Yes, you can sit. Don't bite..."

Michonne sat beside him and stared at Alexandria in front of them.

"How are you doing?" Michonne questioned.

"It depends on the day, I guess" Negan answered "sometimes I feel that this is not happening to me for real. Like it's a bad dream or something. Other days, I get that it's the reality"

"I know that you dislike me" Michonne mumbled with sadness "but you were both so happy. It's horrible..."

Negan stared at her and shook his head.

"I don't dislike you. You have supported Rick and the kids so much. I have been possessive of him and getting mad for kissing you. What did I achieve with all that? Nothing. He is gone now..."

"Rick has always been like that. Handsome, smart, defiant..." Michonne said with a sad smile. "He chose you for a reason. It was a very personal reason. I'm sure of it"

"Was all that and so much more" Negan said as he was on the verge of tearing up again "whoever harmed him will get to die. I will make sure of it personally and whoever dares to harm anyone of you as well. My place is here, I get it at last. Despite taking me so long..."

"It is here" Michonne agreed as their eyes met.

Saw Carl coming his way and he looked worried.

"What happened?" Negan asked with concern.

"Judith is a bit feverish" Carl answered "she was crying"

Negan exchanged a glare with Michonne.

"Let's go back to the house. The kid needs care" Negan said and Michonne nodded.

Especially Judith was their priority. Couldn't let anything happen to her. Even if it was getting sick.

No matter how much he would like to daydream about Rick all day long, he had a family that needed him.

Chapter Text

"Cleaned and warm now," Negan said to Judith who was much calmer after a lukewarm bath and fresh pajamas on.

"Egan" Judith let out as she smiled at him.

Her cheeks were still reddish but Negan hoped that she would get through this soon.

Picked her up for a hug and Judith rested her small head on his shoulder.

"Be well soon Judy, please darling. Don't want you to be sick" Negan said to her as he was worried. "What would your Dad say?"

"Rick," Judith said as Negan was talking about him to Judith weekly. Didn't want the kid to forget who her Dad was.

"Yes, Rick..." Negan answered "will try to get better for Dad. Wouldn't want you to be sick either"

"Dada..." Judith mumbled with sadness.

"Dada is not here baby. Bet that he misses you a lot though as when he was at the Sanctuary with me"

"Dada" Judith repeated and Negan felt very emotional.

"Let's sit comfortably to read you a story and then you'll sleep again," Negan said, trying to get rid of the heaviness inside of him.

Gave her a one kiss on top of the head and walked to pick up one of her favorite books. Would do him good as well to be reading something.

Forget about both of his and Rick's sufferings for a while.

---

"Lieutenant Grimes" Elizabeth said as she smiled at him. "Good morning"

"Good morning ma'am" Rick answered obediently.

"Did you inspect the prisoners?" she asked.

"I did ma'am. They are quiet"

"Not all of them. There are feisty ones" Elizabeth said with obvious irritation.

Maybe because they are locked up all day long and treated so badly, Rick thought to himself.

"Can't wait for the new ones" she added. "Oh, I almost forgot. Will allow Jadis to come here. She has done enough for us. Since she was the one to capture you and turned out so useful for the CRM, want to give her a gift"

Rick frowned. A gift? Was she serious right now?

"What gift ma'am?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"You are not with someone and she isn't either. Will get married and I want you to comply. I'm sure she's gonna be a good wife for you"

Rick almost fainted when he heard that. He was married. To Negan. Didn't want anything to do with that woman who had caused him so much pain.

"But-" Rick tried to protest and Elizabeth shot him a look.

"No "but". Jadis will be your wife and you're gonna stay here the both of you. Maybe have a kid as well. Axel said to me that she is a strong woman for capturing you on her own. You need that again to make sure that you'll keep providing"

She turned her back on Rick who was on the verge of tearing up.

Chapter Text

Rick went back to his room and cried hard. This was an absolute nightmare. Wanted to get rid of Jadis, not marry her. He was nauseous even thinking about it. That this woman would be touching him again.

Laid to bed and felt inconsolable. All he wanted was his real husband. To hug him and say that he was gonna be ok.

Negan was miles away though and unaware of what he was going through. Couldn't even say that he was already married. When Jadis would show up, he was gonna be given to her.

Had to kill her. That was the only way. Wouldn't let anyone touch him again without wanting to and especially her. Was not gonna let Jadis use his body as she was planning to.

There was a knock on the door and Rick froze.

"Grimes?" heard Axel saying. "Your shift ain't done"

"Leave me the hell alone" Rick snapped at him.

"What tone is that huh?" Axel demanded to know "you have a job to do"

Rick stayed silent. Didn't want to face Axel right now.

Axel ignored his words though and barged in. He froze in place when he saw Rick crying.

Rick stood up and his hands turned to fists.

"How dare you to come in here?" Rick asked aggressively.

Axel looked for once at a loss of words to say. Rick was red-faced and with tears drying on his cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he questioned.

"Now you care why I'm crying? When you were torturing me for weeks?"

"It is my job" Axel answered and his face was expressionless.

"Go do your job then" Rick snapped at him as he crossed his arms "will continue when I feel like it"

"What I feel is that you are hiding more than you've let me know" Axel announced "about your life before coming here. Why you killed Barca. I know that you are not using violence when it comes to the prisoners and letting them get away with things. Careful, Rick. You are walking on thin ice"

Axel gave him one last glare and left him alone while closing the door behind him.

Chapter Text

2 weeks later.

"So we meet again," Jadis said as her eyes met Rick's. She was much different than what he remembered. Her hair was cut very short now and was wearing a CRM black uniform. "They put someone else in my place"

"Do you know what Elizabeth has planned for us?" Rick asked and tried hard to control his massive anger but couldn't help snapping at her.

"I do know" Jadis answered with a shrug "Can't say no to getting married to you. Especially if it means being allowed to stay here at last"

"I'm married already!" Rick growled but kept his voice low to not be heard.

"With Negan?" Jadis asked as she raised her eyebrow "bet that he would have found someone to replace you by now. That's who Negan is. You had your fun but truth be told, you were always meant to be mine. Can't wait to see you naked"

"Please, I'm gonna puke," Rick said with disgust "find another toy to play with, got it?"

"Why find someone else when you are still hot as the day we first met?" Jadis questioned. "Gonna comply with what Elizabeth wants and I may take it easy on you"

"They are using you! Get it at last!" Rick answered aggressively.

"I know that they are, but I've lost everything. It's worth it to have a home again and you, to have sex with. Now give your wife to be a kiss"

Rick scoffed and turned his back on her to go to his room.

"Will see you at our wedding" Jadis announced behind his back "and there will be no getting away afterward"

Rick got to his room and locked the door behind him. His heart was beating fast.

Jadis was officially here and they would be getting married. Might force him to be her submissive as well.

Undressed completely and looked at the mirror. He had become more muscular with the training but his stomach had a terrible scar tissue from Jadis shooting at him.

Traced it with his fingers and stared at himself again.

Was it possible that Negan had replaced him as Jadis had said? Negan wasn't like that though. Yet, he would be the one to betray him.

Laid to bed and touched his cock. Imagined Negan stroking him and kissing his neck. Knew that it was pathetic but he needed it.

Very soon, he would be in bed with Jadis and not his husband. Only Negan's touch he wanted though. Only he cared if he was feeling good...

Let out a small whimper as he brought himself to cum.

Stared at the ceiling as he teared up again.

"Will always be yours" he whispered to the empty room and wished that Negan could know that.

Chapter Text

"What's up with the face?" Axel asked as they walked to have his forced wedding. Axel had been invited obviously to make sure that he would be attending his wedding and not killing himself instead.

Rick was feeling miserable and scared. Knew that this wedding meant nothing. He never agreed to this and yet they had made him do it.

"That face I liked to put on today, got a problem?" Rick snapped at him.

Wanted to turn around and lock himself in his room.

Axel caught him by the arm though. "You are very ungrateful. Could be rotting in a cell or being experimented on. They give you a wife and you dare to complain. My wife got bitten you know, killed by a Walker and yet here you are looking like we are going to execute you or something"

"Why don't you marry her then?" Rick growled as his eyes narrowed on him.

Axel didn't get upset and made Rick walk with him. "You are gonna like it. Eventually"

Rick swallowed hard when he saw Elizabeth and Jadis who was wearing a simple white dress. There was also a priest who was old at age and some of Axel's men.

"Don't make me tie you up" Axel threatened as he let go of his arm and gave him a small push forward.

"We may begin," Elizabeth said and Jadis nodded. Rick averted from looking at them. Axel gave him a warning with his eyes.

"...Rick Grimes do you take Anne to be your wife?" the priest asked as Rick was lost in his thoughts.

There was a heavy silence in the room and didn't want to say it. Elizabeth, Jadis, and Axel would kill him though if he said no.

"...yes" he mumbled, feeling defeated.

Jadis answered "yes" as well and that was it. They were married.

"You may kiss..." the priest announced and Jadis leaned closer to him to kiss his lips.

Rick made no move to kiss her back. Just stood frozen and wiped his lips with his hand afterward.

Jadis didn't seem annoyed though. Had expected that Rick would fight it.

Elizabeth and Axel congratulated them as if they had something to be celebrating.

"Let's go to our room now," Jadis said to him decisively. Rick nodded, just to get her alone. Was planning on killing her.

They walked to a room that Elizabeth had given them which had a double bed. Rick closed the door behind them and locked it.

"Undress" Jadis ordered but was cut off by Rick who cornered her against the wall, wrapping his fingers around her throat.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you!" Rick demanded as he put pressure on her throat.

"You are not...gonna see Negan....again," Jadis said with a roughness.

Rick banged his fist on the wall next to Jadis's head as he teared up.

"You made sure of it!" he snapped at her.

"Let me go or I'll start yelling," Jadis said coldly.

Rick released her after putting some more pressure. Couldn't bring himself to kill another person.

"Stay away from me" he replied to Jadis.

"You are gonna lay to bed or else I'm going to Elizabeth," Jadis said with determination.

They were both breathing heavily as they stared at each other with hatred.

Chapter Text

"I am gonna say it once and you're gonna get it. We are NOT married. It was a parody wedding, against my will. I'm married to Negan. Just because I got forced to say yes, doesn't mean that we are together. Will never be together" Rick said to Jadis in a cold tone.

"It is official Rick. Keep saying to yourself that it's not though if it makes you happy to live with delusions" Jadis replied, equally angry with her new husband.

Rick sat on the bed and felt very frustrated. Jadis moved to her side of the bed to get ready for sleep.

"We are going to have sex sooner or later" she announced as she put on pajamas "don't have to like it, but that's what married people do"

Rick stayed silent. Only Negan he wanted. Not her. Would never want Jadis.

"How can you be saying these things to me after what you did?" Rick demanded to know "You ruined me, almost killed me as well. Now you want to be having sex? I despise you from the bottom of my heart"

"Will do anything to keep my place in this compound, you should get that as well. So yeah, if I have to pretend that I'm in love with you, I will. Sex is a pleasure. Plus we need to consummate our "fake wedding". It's up to you if you're gonna do it now or wait for Elizabeth to get suspicious first," Jadis said as their eyes met.

"I got forced to marry you. Don't have to consummate anything" Rick answered as he was red-faced from his anger.

"She will simply lock us both up and then there go your dreams of ever escaping" Jadis explained to him.

"...and if I consummate our wedding she will be convinced, huh?" Rick asked sarcastically.

"You'd make it more believable of course" Jadis answered in exasperation.

"I will do it," Rick said after some moments of heavy silence between them. "Once. We will never have sex again. You are not gonna like it either way. Will make sure of it. This is about letting go of some of my bottled-up anger. Nothing more. Now get naked"

Jadis looked very surprised that he had eventually agreed. Wasn't scared by Rick's words that he would be rough with her.

Got naked without hesitation and waited for Rick to say to her what to do.

"Come here and get on your knees" Rick ordered as he wanted to have control over her for once. She looked up at him, waiting for his orders. Could get how Negan was feeling when he made him do the same thing. His hatred for Jadis was much bigger though.

Unzipped his jeans and got his cock out.

"Suck" he demanded and saw her cheeks heating up. She complied though and got to it.

Rick closed his eyes as Jadis kept sucking him. Could feel his body responding but he didn't feel any actual joy inside of him.

Opened up his eyes again and they hardened when he looked at her.

Felt the want to make her suffer as much as she had done.

Violence would be getting him nowhere though, nor take back what was done to him. Would be fucking her once and that would be it. Nothing more nothing less. Pure business, like Jadis, had always been about.

Chapter Text

"You do have anger..." Jadis drawled as Rick was done with her. They laid next to each other with sore expressions on their faces. Had been more of hate sex than anything else.

"You tore me away from my family, the person I loved," Rick said with bitterness. "Now, I'll never see them again. Hope you got your satisfaction as I got mine for making you submit to me"

"Yeah..." Jadis mumbled as Rick had not been gentle. It was clear how much he despised her.

"Wish that someone heard us and say it to Elizabeth," Rick said in an apathetic tone. He didn't care if they didn't though.

Turned his back on her as he covered himself with the bedsheets. Jadis stayed silent as she was feeling weird. Had wanted to sleep with Rick since the beginning but he was far from what she had imagined.

Felt tears gathering up in her eyes but wiped them fast. She never cried. For anything and anyone. Not even for her new husband who was in love with someone else.

Didn't know what else she should have expected though. Of course, Rick would be angry with her. Had thought that their first time would be enjoyable.

Had all the time ahead of her to change that. Maybe Rick would fall in love with her as well. Maybe next time, he would be gentle with her despite saying that there won't be another time.

She sighed and closed her eyes to sleep. Rick turned his head over his shoulder to look at her.

Didn't like anything about having to do this. Had felt cold and there was no chemistry between them. When he was with Negan, could feel warmth filling him up. Excitement, passion, love...

He would never feel these things with Jadis. Was stuck in this forced wedding and now they would have to be pretending the happy couple as well.

Maybe if they saw that he had accepted it though, they would eventually let him become a pilot. Only from that, he was holding on.

"I'm sorry Negan..." he thought to himself bitterly. His husband would be very disappointed if he knew that he was making one mistake after the other, just so that he would be able to return to them someday.

Chapter Text

It was late at night and Rick couldn't sleep like most of the nights spent with the CRM. He sighed and laid on his back as he had gotten sore by now. Looked beside him and saw Jadis staring at the ceiling with a sore expression as she couldn't fall asleep either.

"Are you ok?" he asked after some moments of silence.

"Why wouldn't I?" Jadis replied although her tone was not arrogant anymore.

Rick shifted his body to stare at her better.

"You know why. I was rough with you and I'm sorry. Don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. Did the same thing I was despising Negan for"

"I wanted to lay with you. Didn't make me..." Jadis said in a low tone.

"...and yet, you are not the Jadis that captured me at this moment" Rick answered.

"Ok fine..." Jadis said with frustration "you were rough as you had warned me about. I get it, you are angry and you hate me..."

"I wanted to kill you and still want to. For all that you took from me. From my family. I already killed someone though, someone who didn't deserve to die. Can't do it again"

"Why? You think that I don't deserve to die?" Jadis asked as she couldn't understand.

Rick sighed and shook his head negatively.

"Nothing will change. Either I like it or not and believe me, I don't, they forced me to get married to you. We had sex together as well. Killing you won't reverse what happened but I'm sorry for treating you like that. You are still a human and I shouldn't have been so rough with you"

"Back to the junkyard" Jadis mumbled "I thought many times to go find Negan and say what I did. He would have killed me and I chickened out from taking responsibility for my actions. Since Simon killed my people I had been bitter and alone. Was jealous of what you had. A family, love..."

Rick sobbed and tears fell from his eyes. Negan could have saved him and yet he knew nothing of where he had been all this time.

"Now I have nothing as well" Rick answered with bitterness "guess that makes us two very miserable people"

Jadis had tears in her eyes as well as they both stared at the ceiling, feeling lost and lonely.

"Yes, I guess it does..." she replied "don't worry. I won't make you touch me again if you don't want to. I will persuade Elizabeth that we are fine being married. Will do anything so that I don't put you in more danger and who knows. Maybe one day you'll be able to accept me at least..."

Jadis turned her back on Rick as she kept on crying and a heavy silence fell to the room.

Chapter Text

"Rick!" Negan sobbed as he had been crying while sleeping once again.

Opened his eyes and was breathing heavily. Thankfully he didn't wake up the kids this time.

Looked at Rick's side of the bed and swallowed hard. Touched his pillow gently and let a tear fall from his eyes.

"What did they do to you?" he asked with a grievance. "Why couldn't I protect you, Ricky?"

Felt sadness filling him up and let himself cry hard. His life had no meaning without Rick. Looked outside of the window and saw Alexandria's gates. It was still early in the morning. Noone would notice if...

Thought of the kids but he couldn't keep this up. Carl and Judith would be ok...had many good people to be taking care of them. Not himself that had hurt their father and almost made him chop off Carl's arm.

He would kill himself. That was it. Enough was enough. It's not like anyone would be missing an asshole like him.

Negan wiped the tears from his eyes and walked to the kids' rooms. Had to say goodbye even if they wouldn't know it. Gave them both a kiss on the top of their heads as they were sleeping peacefully.

"Goodbye kiddos..." Negan whispered emotionally.

Walked towards the gates and memories with Rick came back to him. He would never get to be with his husband again and that was the end of his story. Having lost both Lucille and Rick, there was nothing left for him.

Got on top of the gates and looked downward. It was high enough to make sure he would die. Wished that the Alexandrians would bury his body and not throw him to the Walkers.

Moved on the edge and sobbed again as he was about to jump.

"Negan," said Michonne who had seen him in this situation and had followed him.

Negan snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her.

"Bet that you would have liked to be the one to kill me but I'm gonna jump instead..." Negan said to her with a sore expression "save you the trouble"

Michonne's eyes widened.

"Don't you dare move" she ordered "Rick is alive and will come back to us. Want to find you dead?"

Negan shook his head negatively though.

"He's not alive. Rick would have come back. It's been so long and I can't take it anymore"

"The kids will be devastated," Michonne said "How can you do that to them?"

"The kids will understand. Don't need me in their lives. Their Dad they need and he's not here, because of me" Negan answered as he was feeling inconsolable.

Michonne teared up as well and tried to approach Negan slowly.

"Everyone has seen how much you care. Don't do that to all of us. Please Negan. They don't hate you as you may think. Just...please..." Michonne pleaded.

Got by Negan's side and touched his face gently as they moved away from the edge.

"He's not here and I'm missing him. I'm missing him so damn much..." Negan sobbed as his body shook.

"I'm missing him too..." Michonne said as they hugged. Needed each other's comfort right now.

Before they knew it, their lips connected, and kissed passionately. Michonne closed her eyes as she kissed Negan.

Negan was the one to snap out of it and felt guilt immediately.

"Michonne...I can't..." Negan said as their eyes met.

"I know, I'm sorry..." Michonne apologized "go back home, Negan. The kids will wake up and they have to find you there"

Negan nodded and left to go back to Rick's house. So much for blaming Rick...had kissed Michonne as well and his action was way worse than anything Rick had done in the past...

Chapter Text

"Did you have an enjoyable wedding night Grimes?" Axel mocked as he caught up with him.

"I did," Rick said as Axel was annoying the hell out of him "now leave me alone. Go torture some prisoner..."

"Oh, but I will" Axel answered "what is bothering me is that you don't though. Afraid to not hurt their feelings?"

"I'm not the "violent type" Rick tried to justify himself.

"When you executed poor Barca, it didn't seem that way," Axel said with a shrug.

"Want to become a pilot" Rick snapped at him.

Axel stopped walking and faced Rick. His eyes narrowed on him immediately.

Let out a humorless chuckle. "Good luck with that. Maybe in a year or two, we can discuss it. Not now though"

"Why the hell not?" Rick asked as he felt anger inside of him.

"Because I don't buy anything that you're doing or saying. Saw your face yesterday at the wedding. You married the woman who sent you here. There is no way I'll let you become a pilot. You will jeopardize everything we've built"

Axel cornered Rick against the wall as they were all alone and stared at each other with hatred.

"Got it, Grimes? Do you need some time locked up to get it better perhaps?" Axel whispered to him.

"I don't" Rick answered and pushed Axel away from him. "I'm going back to my room. Go do whatever it is you're doing. Not interested in joining"

"I'll let it pass since I bet that you want time with your wife to do whatever it is you're doing..." Axel answered as Rick walked away while being very angry.

Axel was getting on his nerves and also was a big problem. Wouldn't let him become a pilot as he had threatened and he would never go back to his home.

Not in a year or two, but not even in a decade.

Sighed to himself as he was barely keeping it to not burst into tears.

Chapter Text

"You have to be smarter than that Rick" Jadis announced when Rick came back to their room and admitted that he had confronted Axel about becoming a pilot.

"I've been here for almost six months" Rick snapped at her defensively "I had enough"

"By being aggressive what are you going to achieve exactly?" Jadis insisted. "You will only make them more suspicious"

Rick felt very frustrated. "Why do I bother talking to you?"

"Because you're feeling all alone..." Jadis drawled with a sore expression.

"Yes, now that I'm with you, I'm feeling much better already. That you orchestrated a whole plan to hand me over to your buddies or whatever they may be to you"

"Didn't Negan force you into things as well or was he all about cuddling since day one?"

"Negan is nothing like you," Rick said as it ached him talking about his husband.

"He is probably with someone else by now" Jadis continued "who would be waiting for so many months?"

"You know what?" Rick asked despite feeling bad inside of him "I'll get it if he has. Would never blame him if he had moved on..."

"Lay down," Jadis said gently as their eyes met.

Rick hesitated but laid down eventually.

"I can take all your pain away" Jadis suggested "you should move on as well. It's been so long..."

Rick swallowed hard as he looked at her.

"I don't have feelings for you..." he mumbled.

"Don't have to..." Jadis answered as she moved on top of Rick who stared into her eyes.

Leaned in and they began kissing. Jadis helped him get undressed and did the same.

Kissed Rick's neck who let out a small sound. Closed his eyes and thought of Negan. Tried to imagine that he was the one kissing him.

Jadis touched him tenderly and felt her tracing the scar tissue with her fingers. The one she had caused him.

Rick grabbed her by the wrist to make her stop. Didn't want to be touched there and especially not by her.

Flipped their positions as he got on top. Their eyes met again and could see the want in her eyes.

"Please Rick..." she whispered to him.

Rick sighed as he felt immensely guilty by what they were doing.

"Stay still for me" Rick ordered as Jadis complied, eagerly waiting for her husband to touch her.

He started fingering her slowly as Jadis' soft moans filled up the room.

Chapter Text

One month later.

"Today it would have been your Dad's birthday" Negan drawled as they were having breakfast with the kids.

Carl nodded hesitantly as he knew it but didn't think that Negan would want to mention it.

"Yes..." Carl mumbled "he would have turned 48"

"Dad..." Judith let out as she was sad that Rick wasn't around anymore.

Negan sighed as he picked her up. Imagined if Rick was still with them. They would be having breakfast all together and then celebrating it for the rest of the day.

"Your Dad loved you more than his own life. I just wanted to remind you that today. He would be proud of how much you've grown up and how responsible you're becoming..." Negan sobbed as he was very emotional.

Carl stared at his dish with a sense of sadness and thought of his father. Had lost hope that he was still alive since seven months had passed by. This wasn't like when they got separated at the start of the Apocalypse, this time it was permanent. At least they still had Negan...

"He would be proud of you too," Carl said to him and meant it. "You've become our Dad in his place. I'm very thankful for what you've done"

Negan stood up so that they could have a hug.

"Love you very much kiddos. Don't know what I'd do without you..."

Looked at them and was glad that Michonne stopped him from ending his life. Realized too late how much harm he would have caused to the kids if he had done it.

Rick had trusted him with his kids and should be worthy of that trust. Couldn't abandon them, no matter how much he was aching for Rick's loss.

---

Rick blinked his eyes and stared at the bedsheets with a sore expression. Today was his birthday and was still stuck there.

He should act like it was an ordinary day. That would make it more sufferable and less painful. Was about to stand up and get dressed when Jadis entered the room with a big smile on her face. Didn't even notice when she had left the room, had to be sleeping still.

One month later, he still didn't have feelings for Jadis. They were having sex but only to forget his problems. Plus Jadis was insisting and since they were living as a married couple, he had to please her as well. Had made it clear how he was seeing the whole thing, but Jadis didn't seem to care. Wanted the physical contact despite knowing that Rick's mind was on Negan.

"Happy Birthday!" said Jadis with excitement as she offered him a cake with icing on the top and one candle that was lit already.

Rick rolled his eyes as he had slipped up to her about his birthday coming. Would never think that she would make a cake for him though.

"Thank you," Rick said as he blushed a bit and Jadis kissed him on the cheek.

"If I don't take care of my husband on his birthday..." Jadis answered like it wasn't a big deal.

"Should just blow the candle then..." Rick answered as he looked at the flame. Closed his eyes and wished to go back to his family. That was the only wish worth making.

He blew it and Jadis smiled at him.

"Let's eat now before Axel starts complaining that I'm not torturing prisoners on my birthday..." Rick said to her and she chuckled.

Was trying to go more with Axel's waters and avoid confrontations. Perhaps he would change his mind about becoming a pilot eventually.

Would never become one of them though. That's what he knew for sure.

Chapter Text

"How are you holding on?" Dwight asked Negan as he had decided to visit the Sanctuary after a very long time. Didn't like leaving the kids to Michonne or someone else but also needed time for himself.

"Some days I'm better but some others, just...awful. Don't know what to think anymore. On the one hand, I want him to be alive but I know that he has suffered in someone else's hands all this time if that's the case. So I don't know if I should wish for him to be alive or dead..."

"It's been seven months Negan," Dwight said with a sigh "Rick wouldn't just submit if he was caught. Could have escaped by now"

"Yes, he could have escaped..." Negan answered hesitantly. "Had his birthday the other day. Was thinking about all that I had put him through since we met and maybe I was never meant to get to keep him. Maybe I'm getting punished for being a terrible person"

"You were happy Negan. There's no doubt of that. It's just that we are living in the Apocalypse and have to get that every minute, every moment with the people we love is precious. Don't know what happened that night, but bet that not Rick or you, could have seen it coming"

"At least things between all the communities are good now. We don't have tensions anymore and everyone is fed well" Negan said as that was the only positive outcome.

"True," Dwight said as they walked by the garden which was full of vegetables and flowers by now. Rick would have loved seeing it.

Dwight handed him his room's key.

"If you'd like to see it..." Dwight suggested as he knew that Negan had spent a lot of time with Rick in that room.

Negan nodded as Dwight kept walking to go do something else. Turned in the opposite direction and went to the cells instead of his room.

Remembered dragging Rick there his first night at the Sanctuary as a prisoner. Then David had visited and chaos followed.

Stared at the cell and wished that he could turn back time. To never lock him up in the first place.

"Sir...?" heard a voice behind him.

Turned around and saw Justin looking at him.

"Hey, Justin" Negan said as he had a long time to see him as well.

"What are you doing down here?" Justin asked.

"You didn't have a prisoner for a long time huh?" Negan questioned instead as the cells were all dusty.

"No, there's no need for that Sir. Are you here because of Rick?"

"Yes..." Negan admitted "came to remember how I treated him..."

"You didn't want him to be suffering though. Not even back then. Had worry in your eyes when you said to me to not let anyone see him during the night"

"Didn't prevent him from going missing though" Negan said with roughness in his voice.

Justin got that Negan wanted to be left alone.

"You should remember the happy moments you've lived with him, Sir..." Justin said as parting words. "I believe that's what he would want as well"

Chapter Text

Negan sighed to himself as he stopped by a river he knew in the woods to get some fresh air before going back to Alexandria.

Recalled kissing Michonne and still felt bad about it. Knew that it was once and that they'd both been upset at that moment. Never even talked about it afterward.

Rick would never ask him to not try to move on with someone else. It's been seven long months after all, but Rick was his life, his true love. How could he erase his husband like that? He simply couldn't. Had made mistakes, they both had, but they were made for each other.

Kept on walking alongside the river when a car caught his eye. Negan froze and felt his heart beating very fast. This was Rick's car. He had found it at last. It was covered in leaves and looked abandoned. Ran to it and looked with worry everywhere for a sign of his husband.

There was a big bloodstain on the back so that meant that someone kidnapped him and put Rick there while driving, after injuring him.

Negan sobbed as he felt terrible for what had happened to Rick.

"Who did that to you Rick?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

The things that Dwight had given to Rick were still there as well.

Negan rested his head against the car and cried hard. His husband had suffered, that was the only thing for certain.

Had spent months looking for that same car and now that he had finally discovered it, he wished that he never did.

Didn't have anything useful to help him find Rick and the bloodstain was just heartbreaking.

Closed his eyes as he was feeling dizziness overtaking him. Needed to let Alexandrians know about the car. Perhaps they could all go out and begin searching again.

Was about to stand up when he heard the sound of a gun's safe getting removed. Opened his eyes immediately and saw a guy dressed in a total black uniform pointing a gun at him.

"Who the hell are you?" Negan asked despite his fear.

"You're arrested on behalf of the CRM. Have no rights from this point and on..." the guy announced in a cold tone.

Chapter Text

Negan tried his hardest to resist as they got him outside the helicopter. What the hell was that place? Who were these people that had captured him? Felt fear inside of him as he thought of the kids. It would be very painful for them when they'd realize he had disappeared like Rick before him.

"You!" a guard ordered him "Behave or else we can make you to, with special methods..."

Negan wanted to fight harder but it was useless. Felt powerless against them. Got to a big room that had big cells lined up and there were people already in some of them who looked very afraid.

His fate wasn't much different as they tied him to a bed and locked the door behind him. Negan swallowed hard as he was very afraid. How would he escape them when they were all tied up and locked in cells?

Heard another door getting unlocked and steps approaching.

"Why do you need me as well?" Rick asked as Axel had made him go from the cells alongside him.

"Because there are new prisoners and we have to put them in their places, like always. Now shut up and follow" Axel warned him.

Rick dropped his gaze to the floor with bitterness. Didn't want to threaten anyone but he was forced to.

They entered the prison area and looked at the new prisoners. Felt like he would faint when he met Negan's hazel eyes. Stood completely still and they just stared at each other from behind the bars. This couldn't be happening...

Negan had been captured and was put in a cell. He was shocked to see him as well. There was no need for words to describe what they were feeling at that moment. Both of them were on the verge of tearing up when Rick was brought back to reality by Axel.

"Rick!" he ordered as he snapped at him "we are done here. Where on earth is your mind?"

"I am not done," Rick said to Axel defensively.

"What do you mean?" Axel asked as he narrowed his eyes. "You weren't even paying attention to what I was saying"

"I was but noticed that this prisoner was smirking at me," Rick said as he pointed at Negan who couldn't understand what was going on. "Decided to try your methods and punish him"

Axel looked surprised but nodded as he smiled. "Glad that you're learning. He's all yours to punish"

Rick nodded and tried to appear threatening as they unlocked Negan's cell and dragged him out none too gently.

"Tie him up tightly and will be there soon," Rick ordered in a cold tone and Axel seemed very pleased.

"Show him who's the boss Grimes," Axel said to him as parting words.

"Don't worry. I will" Rick answered. Didn't know how much time they had, but needed to help Negan. At least, to save him.

Bit his bottom lip and tried his hardest to not tear up.

Chapter Text

Rick locked the door of the room they had to be torturing prisoners and took in a deep breath as he faced Negan who was tied up. His face betrayed a mix of pain and confusion.

Approached him hesitantly and they looked each other in the eyes once again.

"You shouldn't be here" Rick announced despite having so much to say to him.

"I don't even know where "here" is" Negan answered as he couldn't believe that they were more interested in his capture than being reunited after all this time.

"Here is the place I ended up to..." Rick answered with a deep sigh.

"What are you doing seven months now? We thought you were dead" Negan asked as he couldn't understand.

"How did they catch you?" Rick said instead.

Negan hated that Rick wasn't willing to say what had happened.

"Discovered your car at last and then a dude shows up to say that I'm their prisoner from now and on. More showed up and here I am..."

"Shouldn't have been putting yourself at risk...-" Rick said as he felt really bad inside of him.

"Rick" Negan interrupted, "we thought you were dead. Do you get that? For seven months. Then I get captured and find you in this place. Are you one of them now?"

Rick broke down in front of him as he cried hard.

"That night I was driving back to Alexandria. It was raining when I saw someone in the middle of the road. That person begged me to help and I did, foolishly...it was Jadis and pointed a gun at me. Said that I should go with her. When I resisted, she shot me"

He lifted his shirt a bit and Negan saw a horrible scar tissue.

Teared up as well as he couldn't believe that Jadis would go that far. If he knew, would have killed her with his bare hands.

Had stolen away their life. Their happiness.

"Who are these people?" Negan asked with bitterness.

"They are called the CRM or Civic Republic Military and they are like anything we've faced before. Not even the Saviors. There is no way out, for me at least, but maybe I can save you"

"I am not going anywhere without you," Negan said with pain in his voice "we have a second chance perhaps..."

"There is no second chance" Rick shook his head negatively "only to find a way to get you out of here"

They both breathed heavily as silence fell to the room.

Chapter Text

"So..." Negan drawled "are you in charge of torturing people now?"

"No" Rick denied it immediately "I don't...just pretend that I'll be hurting prisoners so that they are satisfied with me"

"Oh great" Negan answered as he felt his blood boiling up "that makes total sense to me. You know what is happening back to Alexandria while you "pretend to be torturing prisoners"? Two kids will probably have psychological problems for life since their mother died, their father died as you've let us all believe for seven months and now their stepfather has vanished as well!"

Looked at Rick with anger who trembled at Negan snapping at him. Didn't doubt that his words were the truth. Who knows how much they'd all suffered in his absence.

"You don't know what I've been through..." Rick said roughly.

"Then explain to me" Negan answered "because I'm losing my mind as I realize what you've been doing"

"Got forced to marry Jadis..." Rick let out, very afraid of Negan's reaction.

Saw the immediate pain in his eyes as it was the last he'd expected to hear.

"You did what?" Negan asked as he thought he had misheard.

"They made me to, alright? Didn't want of course. First, they took me and she has about one month and a half that she was allowed to come here as well..."

"...and?" Negan demanded to know as he couldn't control his anger "how is the married life going? Since she stole mine from me!"

Rick sighed as Negan was too angry right now. Didn't blame him but still. Could be a little bit more understanding.

"Are you having sex with her?" Negan questioned as his heart was already broken, what more damage could happen?

"We do" Rick mumbled as he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Great...ok..." Negan let out as he barely kept his tears. "Good for you. Living the life..."

"You call that a "life"?" Rick asked as it was his turn to get angry.

"Back then you had said to me that you'd rather die than suffer a life imprisoned by me" Negan snapped "why didn't you just kill yourself then huh? Instead of this massive betrayal. It would have been more honorable on your part to do that"

Rick's eyes widened and felt shocked at hearing Negan saying these things to him.

Teared up and forced Negan to stand up from the chair he was sitting on.

"You're going back to your cell" he announced in a cold tone as he made Negan move.

Chapter Text

Rick locked Negan back to the cell and left in a hurry. Couldn't even stand to look at him after what he said. Axel saw him and came his way.

"How did the torture go?" he mocked Rick.

"Great," Rick said plainly "I have to go see Jadis. Got informed that she is unwell"

"Ok" Axel answered "go to your wife then"

"Yes," Rick replied and hurried away from him. Went to his old room instead and locked himself in. Laid to bed and sobbed hard.

Why did Negan have to say that to him? Knew that he had betrayed his husband but to wish he had killed himself? Had stayed alive, while Barca had asked to die. In hopes to save him instead.

Yet, so many months later, he was still there. Living was not easy, as Negan thought. Had been locked up, tortured, threatened, forced to get married against his will...

Was all he had been through worth it or he should have indeed just killed himself? His kids would be traumatized after losing both him and Negan. As for Negan who knows what was in store for him now that he'd been caught. Wanted to help him, even after his unacceptable words.

Maybe if Negan was back to safety somehow, he would do what he had suggested and end his life. If he couldn't be with his real family, what was even the point of keeping trying and enduring so much.

Rick wiped the tears from his eyes as he sat up. Knew that Negan could be harsh when he wanted to but this was like anything he had said to him before. Even when they hated each other, he was more gentle with him.

"He's just upset," he thought to himself. Always did that. Tried to justify people. Even Jadis, whom he hated, had done some decent things for him. Nothing that he was doing, would ever be enough though. For any of them.

It was fine he guessed, at least they would be ok. Didn't care anymore about what was gonna happen to him.

Stood up and felt more miserable than ever. He was nothing more than a disappointment.

Walked out of the room and just kept walking without a care of where he was going. Nothing mattered anymore now that he had officially lost the last thing worth living for. The one thing that had kept him going all this time.

Negan's love.

---

Negan stared at the bars of the cell and didn't know what was wrong with him. Something very serious most likely.

Had wished for his husband to kill himself. The same person that had supported him like no one else, the first one that believed in him...

Today confirmed what he always knew. Was meant to hurt others and push them away. It would be very understandable if Rick let him rot in that cell after what he'd said. So what if he was having sex with Jadis? They'd forced him to get married to her. Like he hadn't betrayed Rick as well by kissing Michonne.

After all this time, he still believed that Rick was something like his property instead of his husband. Like he had to prove his ownership again and again until Rick would never leave him again. Was that the point of loving someone though? Wishing they would kill themselves just because they displeased you? What about his actions and how much he'd hurt Rick since the day they met?

Snapped out of his thoughts to a woman crying in the cell next to his. She looked in her mid-twenties. Too young to be locked up.

"Hey..." Negan whispered to her and their eyes met. "What's your name?"

"Jane..." she answered in between her tears.

"I am Negan" he mumbled, "did they catch you as well?"

Jane nodded and tried to calm down.

"I'm very anxious. Think that I'm gonna have a panic attack..." Jane trembled and Negan felt bad for her.

"We are gonna be ok" Negan tried to calm her down "it's just some bars"

Jane sobbed though and Negan wished that he could offer her some comfort alongside Rick who wasn't even there right now.

"Take a breath for four seconds..." Negan said to her in a low tone "then hold it for seven seconds and let it go for eight seconds...it's a method I know that had helped someone...someone that means a lot to me...to fall asleep"

Jane nodded hesitantly and rested her head on the pillow.

"Where is that person now?" Jane asked before following Negan's instructions to help her fall asleep.

Negan swallowed hard as he didn't know how to answer that question.

"Let's just say that I made him get out of my life..." he choked out.

Chapter Text

"What face is that?" Jadis asked when Rick finally returned to their room.

Rick looked at her in the eyes and decided to tell her everything. Had to know.

"Negan got captured and is locked up as we speak"

Jadis froze at that. If Negan got his hands on her, she would die. She felt panic inside of her, couldn't let him get freed at all costs.

"This means that our supposed wedding is officially over" Rick continued "I've betrayed him enough already and I'm done"

"What are you talking about Rick?" Jadis asked instead "you think that now he's here that what? That you're gonna be together somehow?"

"I will save his life and help him get away even if I don't. All I'm saying is that I can't keep being physical with you" Rick insisted as he was already not feeling well.

Jadis wanted to threaten Rick to reveal his secret but she couldn't do that to him.

"Fine" she announced "I get that you're upset. Our relationship is far from over though. Will continue when Negan gets out of here"

Rick sighed in exasperation. No one could get how he was feeling. It was all about what they wanted.

"I see that it's pointless to keep up with this conversation..." he said to her.

"It is" Jadis answered "we are married though. Don't you forget that"

"Of course," Rick said sounding given up "How could I forget it? Because marriage equals property in your minds"

Turned his back on Jadis as he couldn't handle any more fights for the day.

"Where are you going?" Jadis demanded to know.

"I will sleep alone tonight" Rick answered and closed the door behind him before Jadis could even protest about it.

Chapter Text

It was late at night and Rick was tossing and turning without being able to sleep. Was breaking his heart to know that Negan was in a cell, like he'd been. Had exchanged very hurtful words but couldn't stand not having a chance to talk to his husband again. Who knows what tomorrow would bring after all. Didn't want to die and not say what he had to say.

Stood up and walked slowly to the cells. Had a key to let Negan out and would return him before Axel could find out. They were so certain that the prisoners were locked up that they didn't bother to patrol at night.

Saw Negan sleeping and unlocked the door. Trying to be as quiet as possible. Didn't want to wake up the others and get questioned as to why he'd be letting only Negan out. Wished that he could help them all but they were outnumbered.

Negan blinked his eyes at a sound of a door opening up and froze when he saw Rick in his cell.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a low tone as after his words thought that he'd never see Rick again.

"Come with me..." Rick replied although his expression was sore "we need to talk"

Negan nodded and followed Rick as quietly as possible.

Led him to his room and closed the door behind Negan as he let him in.

"Why would you risk letting me out?" Negan asked despite aching to apologize for what he'd said.

"Might kill myself as you suggested and that would be the last chance to speak to you..." Rick answered as he barely kept it together.

"Don't you dare do something like that" Negan sobbed "I'm sorry... I'm very sorry... What kind of husband am I to say that to you?"

Rick sighed and dropped himself to the bed.

"You are upset...I broke your trust...." he mumbled.

"Did nothing to me, you hear that? Nothing. Had to struggle to survive and here I am accusing you and saying that it would be better if you'd killed yourself. It wouldn't have been better and I know that because I tried to kill myself as well" Negan's said with tears in his eyes.

"What?" Rick asked in shock "you can't be for real right now"

"I am" Negan replied as he sat down beside him "was ready to jump off Alexandria's gates. Michonne stopped me and then came to my betrayal...we kissed. Regretted it immediately but still..."

Rick met his eyes and could see how much Negan had suffered as well without him. That they'd both done things they didn't want to. Only because they were missing each other.

"Do you want me to die?" Rick asked with pain in his voice.

"No" Negan shook his head immediately "would never want that for you...I am an asshole though and still have anger management issues, not that this is an excuse"

Rick took in a trembling breath and looked at his husband.

"You are the only one I want. There will never be anyone else but you..."

Negan cried as he finally felt peace inside of him. Touched Rick's face gently as their lips connected.

"I love you so much" Negan sobbed between their kisses "Can you forgive me for the last time?"

"Already have, you asshole..." Rick said emotionally and laid to bed as Negan got on top of him.

"I will take you out of here" Negan promised "we will go back to our home and have a loving family"

"Feels like a dream..." Rick answered with a small sad smile.

"Nothing is impossible for us" Negan whispered as he rested his head gently against Rick's. "Want to have you by my side in this fight Rick..."

"You will have me" Rick agreed and removed his shirt for him. Didn't have much time but needed this. To get to be with Negan again.

Maybe the pain would go away when he would feel his lips against his once more.

Chapter Text

"I have missed you so much," Rick said as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

"We all did as well Rick, I just had to be an asshole even when you've been gone for seven months..." Negan said in regrets. Looked downward at Rick's scar tissue that was caused by Jadis shooting at him. Moved and kissed it very carefully despite having healed for a long time now. "If I had been there that night..."

"I know..." Rick answered with bitterness "still can't believe that I'm scarred for life, but at least I survived"

"You did" Negan mumbled emotionally "my Rick always survives"

"...and Negan never gives up like that" Rick observed as Negan informed him that he had been a mess all this time he was presumed dead.

"Sometimes I give up as well. Can't lose you though, I'm sure of it. These months had been a complete hell..."

"We are together again" Rick whispered to him as they kissed. "Although Jadis didn't like that..."

Negan felt anger when he thought of that woman. Wanted to kill her himself for daring to touch Rick despite warning her of the consequences.

"Since she likes it here so much, she's gonna go down with the place" Negan answered "that woman can not be trusted. Has proved it many times already. What about that Axel guy?"

"He is in charge of their army and deals with the prisoners. Doesn't like that I'm not torturing prisoners as he does. Today was very happy that I supposedly tortured you though"

Negan thought about it for some time.

"Does he know how to fly a helicopter?" Negan asked.

"Maybe..." Rick said unsurely "not sure, why?"

"He could be the way out of here. Since he doesn't let you become a pilot, he'll be the one to take us home. We can't beat them alone, need everyone's help from back home"

"Axel is way committed to their cause. Would never betray them"

"Didn't say that he will want to betray them" Negan explained "we will force him to do so. Maybe we can't deal with everyone at once but kidnapping him won't be as hard"

"If we don't make it, they could kill both us but the rest of the prisoners as well," Rick said with worry in his eyes.

"We will make it Rick, trust me. This Axel needs to get that the days of being in charge are coming to an end. Once and for all"

Chapter Text

"Don't want to take you back there and lock you up..." Rick said as he was didn't want to separate from Negan once again.

"You have to and it was already very risky to let me out in the first place. Don't want you to be in danger, but I know that my words made you upset" Negan bit his bottom lip with worry and regrets.

"It was painful to hear but I know that you didn't mean it" Rick mumbled as their eyes met.

"I didn't" Negan promised "all I've ever wanted, what I truly want, is for you to be healthy and happy. The complete opposite of what I said while being in one of these moments that I can't control my feelings..."

"I know, you asshole..." Rick answered and gave him a tight hug "we have bigger problems than blaming each other right now and I don't want to play the blaming game either. We've been through so much already. All I need is to go home at last"

"We will" Negan said with a small sigh. Stood up as they couldn't stay together any longer. It was too dangerous and their goal was to kidnap Axel. Didn't want to figure out that they knew each other in the meantime though.

Rick led him to the cells and everyone was still sleeping thankfully. They shared one more quick kiss and Rick locked the door. Looked at him with sadness and Negan almost teared up at having to watch Rick leave once again.

He did though because jeopardizing their plan of escape was not worth it. Jane blinked her eyes and looked at Negan as he was about to sleep as well.

"Was that the person you were talking about?" she asked in a low tone.

Negan shook his head in agreement. The girl looked trustworthy and it was wrong to be locked up.

"He was" Negan nodded as he thought of Rick.

"Seems like you didn't push him out of your life after all..." Jane observed.

"That's because he is one very special person, if it was anyone else they'd have done it after what I said..." Negan explained "but not him..."

"Sounds like someone worth having by your side"

"He is" Negan replied emotionally. "Hope that he will want to stay by my side as well"

Chapter Text

Rick returned to the room they shared with Jadis when morning came and found her in an obvious angry mood.

"Good morning..." Rick said hesitantly.

Jadis looked at him and saw the tiredness in his eyes. Had done something to spend time with Negan. That's why he didn't sleep with her.

"I thought we'd come to an understanding, Rick. I truly did" Jadis answered as her eyes narrowed on him "today you're gonna sleep with me or I'm going to Elizabeth"

Rick got angry as Jadis wanted to force him again. "I thought we understood each other as well but we didn't. Did or did I not say that I was not gonna just forget about Negan? That's the person I love. Never hid that. You do have a different side Jadis. I've seen it. If you want to blackmail me though..."

"Well, I don't" Jadis interrupted "but you're mine, not his"

"I chose him Jadis," Rick said coldly "That's the only thing that matters. If you cared for me even a tiny bit, you would get that"

"Can send him to get experimented on and you'll never see each other again" she threatened.

"I see that you've chosen which side you're with Jadis. We are over. Either you'll apologize or forget about me" Rick answered as he was very upset with her.

"If you stay with me, I'll say to Elizabeth to let him go unharmed. Won't be risking your lives for it..." Jadis pleaded with hurt in her eyes. She approached him slowly and Rick stood still. "Please Rick...don't do that to me, to us..."

"Jadis..." Rick said as their eyes met "I'm sorry but can't lose him again. You can still be in my life but not like that. This isn't right. We've been through more than you could even imagine with Negan and I chose him to my husband willingly. When it comes to you...it was forced. Understand that..."

Jadis swallowed hard and Rick saw tears gathering up in her eyes.

"Is that your final decision?" she asked as she was feeling pain inside of her.

Rick sighed and nodded.

"It is" he replied.

Chapter Text

"How are you doing Axel?" Rick asked conversationally as he sat beside him to have lunch. Needed to know if he could fly a helicopter or not.

Axel narrowed his eyes on him as Rick never initiated talking to him if it wasn't necessary.

"I'm fine" he drawled as he kept on eating.

"Nice, I'm glad to hear it" Rick continued. "You know that I admire you...wanted to say it"

Axel frowned at that. "Are you messing with me?" questioned suspiciously.

"No, I mean it" Rick insisted "you are an inspiration to all of us and me as well"

"Funny because I'd think you hate me from the bottom of your heart..." Axel answered with a frown.

"I was just a bitter and miserable prisoner Axel, you made me...someone. Someone who has a place and a status"

Axel didn't seem entirely convinced but he nodded.

"I did all that for you, it's true. So you should be a lot more grateful" Axel commented.

"You are right, I'm sorry for not believing in you as much as I should have. Want to change things between us though. Even become friends" Rick suggested with a small smile.

"Me and you...?" Axel asked as he didn't have any friends. He might have his men but they weren't actual friends.

"Of course" Rick nodded "I have been lonely, you've been lonely, so why not?"

"I will think about it..." Axel said unsurely.

"Yes, take the time you need. Also, I'm sorry for pressuring you to let me become a pilot. Realized that I'm not worthy of such responsibility..."

Axel sighed at that. "You do have skills" he admitted "it's just that I don't fully trust you yet"

"I understand," Rick said as he nodded "there are more capable and reliable people than me to become pilots. Always thought that you could be one, you know"

"Already am," Axel said as he finished eating "I just prefer to work here and not be flying a helicopter"

Rick felt relief inside of him. Axel would be taking them all out of there.

"You are very good at everything that you do" Rick complimented him.

"Thank you..." Axel replied and felt his cheeks heating up a bit. Had ages for someone to say a nice word to him.

Had anger though for letting himself get influenced by these kinds of things. Shared one more glare with Rick and turned his back on him to go to his room.

Rick continued eating and thought of the moment they would finally go back home.

Chapter Text

"Shouldn't be letting me out..." Negan said as Rick had brought him to his room again late at night. It was very dangerous what they were doing but Rick couldn't stand seeing him locked up all day long.

"Shh..." Rick mumbled "we don't have much time and want to spend it with you. Don't be an asshole about that as well..."

"I just don't want you to get harmed, Rick" Negan answered with a sigh.

"I can always kill myself..." Rick drawled as their eyes met and Negan pouted.

"Don't you say that again" he said as his hazel eyes narrowed on him "just because I let out of my mouth a stupidity, you shouldn't be paying me any mind"

"I won't" Rick agreed "now kiss me you asshole, please?"

Negan nodded and connected their lips. Felt like a dream to be kissing his husband again.

"Hmm..." Negan said in pleasure and sadness for what was taken from them so violently.

Rick noticed it and touched Negan's cheek gently.

"Hey..." Rick whispered to him "I'm here now. You didn't lose me"

Negan teared up and hugged him tightly.

"I've missed you so damn much...kept blaming myself. Thinking what I could have done to prevent this..."

"There was nothing you could have done, Negan," Rick said as he cried as well "nothing because it wasn't your fault"

Wiped both of their tears and got naked in front of his husband.

Negan swallowed dryly as he didn't know if he deserved to get to have Rick after his harsh words.

"Want you so badly..." Rick mumbled with need.

Negan touched him slowly and wanted to explore Rick all over again. Every inch of him. Of this perfect man, that was still with him despite everything that had happened.

Rick stayed still for Negan who kept touching him tenderly. Traced his scar tissue with his fingers as Jadis had done and looked in his eyes with concern. Didn't want to be hurting him.

"It's ok" Rick assured him "you're the only one that I want to be touching me...even there"

"Did Jadis mistreat you again? Apart from kidnapping and almost killing you?"

Rick looked at him with a sore expression. "She forced me to marry her and sex was part of it. No, she didn't rape me but still...it wasn't like with you"

Negan nodded hesitantly and kept on taking care of Rick.

"I know what you need," Negan said and Rick nodded as he relaxed completely for his husband.

Chapter Text

"We have to escape tomorrow and take Axel with us," Rick said as they put their clothes back on.

"Yes" Negan agreed "Tomorrow night, he's gonna take us home and then we'll see what can be done to beat them for good"

Rick sighed as he rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

"I'm tired. I don't want to be fighting anymore but know that this is not possible..."

"They care about us back home, Rick. Won't let us all alone in this. What matters is to get away from here. We see how we'll defeat them, after going back. You need to see your kids, after all, they've missed their Dad"

"I've missed them too, a lot" Rick answered as he couldn't wait to hug them both.

"Just so you know that I won't be letting you out of my sight this time around" Negan warned Rick who nodded despite knowing that it was a possessive thing to do. Better being possessive than what they've been through though for seven months.

"I was stubborn..." Rick admitted "thought that it was all about controlling me but it isn't. You do care about me, you asshole...may have a possessive way of showing it but I won't be denying it again"

"Not like I kept you as a prisoner or something," Negan said teasingly.

Gave him a light poke and shared a laugh.

"When they first brought me here, I was tied up tightly with rope..." Rick pouted and Negan felt a stronger wish to make them pay.

"Should have known that this is not a way to treat my Grimes" Negan said with annoyance.

"Didn't care to harm me..." Rick mumbled.

"Well, good thing that you're mine because I do care and would never use rope since it is painful for you. Kept the restraints that were soft and can't wait to use them again if you're up for it" Negan answered and smirked a bit at Rick.

Rick smirked back at Negan and nodded.

"You're too irresistible to say no to you and I've dreamt of us reuniting for a very long time now"

"Knew it that you couldn't do without me..." Negan grinned at his husband lovingly.

"Will you survive one more day locked up?" Rick asked with worry.

Negan nodded and leaned for a soft kiss.

"Can do everything to take you out of here at last" he promised.

Chapter Text

"I love you very much," Rick said emotionally as he was about to return Negan to the cell. Hopefully for the last time.

Negan wrapped his arms around Rick and gave him a gentle kiss.

"Love you too, Grimes. We are gonna be together, at last, I promise" Negan answered and they stayed like that for a while.

Rick sighed and opened up the door of his room when they came face to face with Jadis who looked at them with anger.

"Any last words before I kill you?" Negan asked as his eyes narrowed on her. He was mad at her for what she had done.

Jadis scoffed at that and entered the room uninvited. Locked the door behind her so that they could talk, uninterrupted.

"If I start yelling for help, they will see you out of the cell and execute you both for what you pulled off"

"How about what you pulled off, hmm?" Negan demanded to know "you stole my husband from me and forced him to marry you. He's mine though and that won't change because of your fake marriage"

"Get out of here" Jadis announced "but Rick's staying. You can't make him happy because you're selfish!"

"You are the one talking about selfishness?" Negan asked as he laughed "the epitome of selfishness. We won't ask your permission Jadis and I'm not leaving without my husband"

Jadis pulled out a gun and pointed it at Rick who frowned.

"He won't survive another shot" Jadis warned Negan who looked at his husband with fear in his eyes.

"Jadis put the gun down," Rick said coldly "Now"

"I won't" Jadis answered "if I can't have you, then Negan can't have you either"

Negan growled and attacked her. Had enough of her threatening Rick and wanted to make her pay. The gun fell from her hands and Rick grabbed it. Negan got on top of Jadis as he put pressure on her throat.

"You. Won't. Touch. Him. Again" Negan snapped at her.

"Let me go!" Jadis yelled back at him.

"Nope!" Negan answered as squeezed her throat much harder. "How about I shoot you as well? To the stomach preferably"

Jadis let out a rough cough and Rick touched him by the arm.

"It's not worth it Negan," Rick said to him "we have to go now. She will warn them otherwise..."

"Not if I kill her," Negan told him as he focused on Jadis again with hatred.

"Please Negan..." Rick pleaded with him "let her live..."

Negan looked at him in the eyes and sighed as he saw Rick begging him silently.

Let her go and Jadis tried to catch her breath again.

Rick grabbed Negan by the hand and hurried out of the room while locking the door behind them so that she wouldn't escape.

Had to free the others, take Axel and hopefully get the hell out of there.

Chapter Text

Jane woke up to doors getting unlocked. Her eyes widened when she saw Negan who left the door of her cell wide open.

"We are leaving kid" Negan explained as he helped her up.

"But how?" she asked as there was fear that they would be getting caught. There were other six prisoners, so they would fit inside the helicopter. Rick had explained that there were more but it was impossible to free everyone right now.

Rick kicked the door of Axel's room with a hard kick which caused Axel to wake up immediately. Saw Rick pointing a gun at him and froze.

"What the hell is that Rick?" he demanded to know as his eyes narrowed.

"We don't have time to chat Axel" Rick warned him as he forced him to stand up. "You're going to take me and the others home. You know, the one you kidnapped us from"

Axel laughed but he didn't find anything funny.

"Of course. That's why you were so concerned about me. Not gonna take you anywhere!"

"You will or..." Rick started.

" Or what?" Axel snapped at him "I'm not gonna become a traitor"

"They don't care about you, Axel. If you get killed, think they are gonna shed a tear? You're just their puppet, someone to do their dirty work"

"No" Axel shook his head "better kill me. I'm not gonna help you escape"

Rick looked at him in the eyes.

"I know that you've treated me badly but you have good in you. Want us to become friends, I saw it. You're sad that no one is your friend, Axel"

"...and you are Rick?" Axel asked with glassiness in his green eyes "who knows what you're gonna do to me when we go back to your home"

"You won't get harmed" Rick explained. Would need a rehabilitation period to snap out of what he'd been taught but was not planning on hurting him. "So, what's it gonna be Axel?" he added expectantly.

Chapter Text

"So you're the one who's made my husband's life difficult hmm?" Negan asked as they met and narrowed his eyes on Axel.

"Husband?" he questioned Rick as he didn't know that he was already married.

"Yes, he's my husband. The real one" Rick answered with a shrug "my "wife" is locked up. Now, will you help us to get out of here or not?"

Axel swallowed dryly as he saw eight people looking at him and especially Rick's husband. Like he would be hurting him if he didn't comply.

"Ok, fine. I will" Axel said in exasperation.

"No tricks this time, alright?" Rick demanded to know.

"Yes, no tricks" Axel nodded when suddenly they saw Jadis from afar. Somehow she had managed to escape from the room they'd locked her in.

"The prisoners are escaping" Jadis started shouting as her eyes met Rick's.

"We have to go, now!" Rick said to them urgently.

"From here," Axel said as more soldiers were showing up to chase after them.

Negan took Jane's hand to his as they hurried to follow Axel.

Soon enough, the helicopters came in view. Axel led them to the one he was the most familiar with and opened the door for them.

"Get in, quickly," Axel said and they started entering.

Suddenly they heard a gun being fired and Negan yelled.

"No!" he sobbed as Jane collapsed.

Looked up and saw that Jadis was the one who had done it.

"No, kid, stay with me!" Negan pleaded as Jane was losing blood fast "don't you dare go, freedom is just around the corner"

Jane tried to contain the blood loss but it was pointless.

"Hope you get to be happy Negan..." she let out as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Negan sobbed hard above her as Jane left her last breath.

Stood up and grabbed the only gun they had as his eyes had turned red from crying.

"Negan we have to go" Rick urged him but he knew that look very well. The look of "I'm gonna do what I want now".

"Surrender! You can't escape!" ordered Elizabeth as she stood in front of everyone else.

"Come and stop us" Negan snapped at her as he pointed the gun at her.

"Elizabeth move!" Jadis said as her eyes widened but Negan was determined to kill.

Elizabeth fell and Jadis hurried above her, trying to save her life.

"Negan, we are going" Rick ordered as they were for sure gonna get killed now that Negan had executed their leader.

Negan picked up Jane's body, she deserved to get a proper burial.

Axel wiped some tears from his eyes and turned on the engine fast.

"Fire at them!" yelled Jadis as they had started taking height.

"Hold on," Axel said as he turned the helicopter decisively away from the CRM.

Some bullets hit the helicopter but not enough to cause damage.

Negan dropped himself to the floor and removed his black leather jacket, covering Jane's face with it.

Rick sat beside him and wrapped his arm around him as Negan cried hard while resting his head on his shoulder.

Axel kept flying the helicopter as a heavy silence fell in it.

Chapter Text

"Dwight we are all losing our minds..." Michonne said as both she and the kids were inconsolable. Negan had disappeared as well, the same way as Rick did. It would be too much to bear if he never came back as well.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as they all sat around the kitchen table feeling lost. Dwight hugged Carl as he could see how hard it was for the kid. They were the ones who had suffered the most from all this.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and they froze. Michonne stood up in a hurry as they all went to see who it was.

"Oh my God!" Michonne yelped when she saw both Rick and Negan, along with several other people.

She hugged them both and they all cried hard.

"Dad! Negan!" Carl said as he fell into their hug as well.

"Carl" Rick held him tightly as he was very emotional "I am here, I'm alive"

"I thought that you..." Carl sobbed and Rick shook his head.

Negan was an emotional mess as well at seeing them all again.

Picked up Judith and kissed the top of her head. Moved to the house as everyone needed answers.

"...that's what happened to us" Negan concluded after at least half an hour of explaining everything.

All were shocked by what they were hearing.

"So you're with them?" Dwight asked Axel in anger. "Why don't we torture you as well hm?"

"He helped us escape" Rick intervened "wouldn't have done it without him. Not saying that he will be walking around freely after what he did but hope that he can change his ways"

"This Elizabeth died though, so that means that CRM is no more right?" Michonne asked.

"CRM won't fall just like that" Axel answered "someone else will become the new leader and I might think who that will be. You all do"

Rick and Negan looked at each other as they did know and that was very worrisome.

Chapter Text

"You've been very silent since we returned" Rick mumbled as Negan was staring out of the window.

"She deserved to be free despite knowing her for two days..." Negan replied with sadness in his eyes.

"I know..." Rick said as he hugged his husband "Jadis will pay for what she did to us. Killing her was not the way though. Will imprison her and she will rot in a cell"

Negan sighed in frustration.

"How Rick? They are too strong..."

"We always find a way, always. Gonna do it again" Rick promised. "Feels like a dream that we are back here and together"

"Yeah..." Negan answered in a low tone as he had missed his husband so much all this time. "Don't have anything with Michonne and you don't with Jadis...I want us to move on and pick up our pieces"

"Think we can do that?" Rick asked but he knew that they could.

"I love you, more than my own life" Negan admitted to him as he had fresh tears in his eyes "that one week we've been married was the best...don't want to lose what we have"

Rick sobbed as he connected his lips with Negan's.

"Love you too, you asshole...you're mine as I'm yours. Only you, I want to be married to"

Negan laid his husband on the bed and moved on top of him. They stared at each other and remembered all these nights of suffering because Rick wasn't there.

Leaned closer to Rick and could feel the tension between them as they kissed again.

"She will never touch you again..." Negan promised and Rick nodded. Didn't want Jadis but his real husband. Always will.

Undressed for Negan as he wanted him right now. Got rid of his clothes as well and touched his husband tenderly.

"Jane was right," Negan said before getting to make Rick his again "I am happy at this moment. Because I'm at last with you. Know that things won't be easy but hey...you're worth fighting for"

Rick couldn't help but smile at him despite his eyes getting watery "You are worth fighting for as well. That's exactly what we are gonna do. Fight for our family and what matters. We will have a future you and me"

"Gonna beat them, Rick. Once and for all" Negan said and Rick nodded. They were stronger like that.

Together.

Chapter Text

One week later.

"How long are you going to keep me locked up Rick?" Axel asked behind the bars as Rick had brought him breakfast.

"As long as it's needed, Axel. Did not use violence as you were doing. Need to change though and I'm gonna be here for you. Gonna continue feeding you so won't make you suffer. You're to stay there though in the meantime" Rick explained.

Axel sighed but nodded hesitantly. Took his breakfast and started eating as Rick left him on his own. Needed to have breakfast with his family and they had many talks to do with Axel.

Walked back to the house and saw Negan making them pancakes like the first time they had breakfast altogether.

Hugged both of his kids as he had missed them both so much.

"Were things ok here during my absence?" Rick asked Carl but with a small smirk on his lips.

"You mean apart from becoming depressed? Yes, other than that we had our asshole stepfather who vanished as well the other day and made us even more depressed" Carl answered as he rolled his one eye. Was very glad that they were both alive and back with them after all this time.

"Gonna be happy from now and on kiddos," Negan said as he brought them pancakes to eat "no one is gonna tear us apart again"

"These guys that took you are still a threat though" Carl mumbled with worry.

Rick sighed as he didn't want Carl to be upset especially after everything he'd been through.

"They are but we escaped from them. Live far away either way. Let's eat now. I've forgotten what pancakes taste like..."

Started eating and shared a glare with Negan who was sitting opposite from him. Couldn't help but offer his husband a genuine smile and Negan did the same.

At one thing they could agree. They were happy and ready for whatever was to come next.

---

"What do these circles mean?" Negan asked Axel as they'd gone with Rick later on to see him. They needed answers.

Axel sighed as he sat down on his cot.

"They mean that CRM isn't the only community that you need to be afraid of out there. There are three. Three very big and powerful communities. Three different leaders came together to keep their communities going. But..." Axel drawled.

"But...?" Rick urged him to continue.

"But CRM was greedy, took advantage of the others, and made them work for them, giving nothing back. The leaders split up and each focused on their survival. They had been all getting stronger these past years and there is one thing they want. Revenge" Axel concluded.

---

"What am I seeing here?" Jadis asked as a young man was laying on a metal table with his eyes closed.

"Was one of the CRM. Your husband shot him but our advanced technology saved his life, Ma'am. Just put on a coma and when we wake him up he's gonna be the perfect soldier for you. Better than Axel, the traitor" a female doctor explained.

Jadis seemed very interested in that. Looked at the man again and wondered what his name was.

"He's called Barca, officer Grimes," the doctor said as their eyes met.

"Well, keep him in a coma and soon enough he's gonna open his eyes and work for me" Jadis ordered as she turned her back on the infirmary.

"𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣... 𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙," Jadis thought to herself.

~ The End ~

Chapter Text

Almost one year ago.

"Unlock the container" Jadis was heard ordering.

Rick felt his heart beating fast as he stood up. Felt weak after being locked up for who knows how long. His hands were tied up tightly and was wearing only his blue boxers. Was also sore after they'd beaten him up.

Blinked hard at the bright light of the sun and focused on Jadis who smiled at him, not in a good way.

"Leave us," Jadis said to some of her men who obeyed and left them alone.

She walked closer to Rick and her eyes lingered on his half-naked body.

"You still have time" Rick let out in an attempt to change her mind "can let me go and choose the right side to be on"

Jadis caressed his cheek though.

"There are no sides Rick. You are nothing more than a prisoner, a slave. Not a leader. Lost that when I captured you. I would love to keep you for me but decided to hand you over to Negan instead"

Rick felt his body shaking in fear. No, not to Negan...

"No, please..." he begged Jadis as Negan wanted to make him suffer.

"What? Are you afraid of him?" Jadis asked but knew the truth "bet that he'll put you to good use..."

Rick felt his cheeks blushing as he could see that Jadis wanted him sexually. Negan did as well.

They'd have to take him with force though as he'd never give in to them.

Jadis pulled out a camera and took several photos of him while he stood there almost naked, beaten up and in fear.

She smiled again as she admired her handy work.

"Negan will be here in an hour" Jadis announced "talked to him earlier and is already planning how you'll be kept at the Sanctuary. Bet that you're aching to be touched, after being locked up in that container. Your new Master will take care of that, I believe"

Rick felt his cheeks heating up from his anger and decided to make a run for it.

"Stop" Jadis ordered as she ran after him.

One of her men tripped Rick who fell to the ground as he yelped in pain.

Jadis got on top of him and took hold of his tied-up hands.

"Negan won't be tolerating such behaviors," she said as her eyes narrowed on him.

"You're sick!" Rick snapped at her.

Jadis ignored him and kissed his lips before he could do anything about it.

"Negan is very lucky to be getting you as his" Jadis sighed "be a good slave for him. That's my only advice for you"

Jadis stood up and took hold of his tied-up hands.

"You are to stay in the container to calm down. Don't want Negan to see you like a wild animal in captivity" Jadis said with malice and made him move.

Rick sobbed as he was thrown into the container and the door got locked again.

When Negan would get his hands on him, his life would be officially over...

Chapter Text

"Well, well if it isn't the mighty Rick Grimes" Negan mocked as he stared at his new prisoner. He was one heck of a prisoner. "See that you beat him up hm?"

"Made us to" Jadis answered with a shrug "bet that you'll be doing the same when you see how disobedient he is"

"Oh, I'm sure about that" Negan smirked as he approached Rick who had fear in his blue eyes. "Hello, Ricky. Are you ready to be my slave for the rest of your life?"

"Fuck off" Rick snapped at him instead.

Negan chuckled and gave Rick the first slap on his cheek, making his bottom lip bleed.

Rick growled in pain but kept staring at him defiantly. Wouldn't let Negan break him.

"I'm your Master and you'll be showing me respect" Negan announced, "now don't make me discipline you in front of these filthy garbage people -no offense," he said to Jadis who had narrowed her eyes on him.

Rick's body shook as he was feeling anger and immense sadness inside of him. Barely held himself to not break down into tears.

"Maybe throw him in a cell for the first few days" Jadis suggested "he may cry about it but when you'll let him out, gonna be ready to serve you"

"Don't need suggestions Jadis when it comes to my prisoners. Know what I should do to him" Negan answered as he didn't like being told what to do.

"Fine," Jadis said in exasperation "just don't be influenced by his blue eyes. Bet that you'll love having him to your bed"

"I'm certain that I will" Negan answered and looked at Rick's hands that were tied up with rope. Had brought handcuffs that were stronger and it would be harder for Rick to escape.

Moved closer to Rick again and leaned down.

"If you dare to try anything..." Negan threatened as he took hold of Rick's tied-up hands.

Rick tensed up when Negan got a sharp knife out but he only cut the rope binding his hands.

Tried to get free but Negan took a firm grasp of his wrists and put handcuffs on. They were way tighter and hard on his already sore wrists.

Cried in pain and teared up a bit. Negan made him stand up and gave Rick a push forward.

"Let's take you to your new home..." he said decisively.

"Before you leave, I've got something for you," Jadis said as she handed him the pictures of Rick she'd taken earlier. "Thought that you'd appreciate them"

Negan stared at them and Rick was gazing at the camera miserably. Didn't care about some pictures since he had the real person, all tied up for him.

Put them in the pocket of his leather jacket and took hold of Rick again who was looking ready to attempt an escape.

"Be seeing you Jadis" Negan said as a goodbye and Jadis nodded as she watched him manhandling Rick roughly.

A smile appeared on her lips. Rick Grimes would never be an issue again.

Chapter Text

Present-day.

Rick woke up abruptly and thought he was at the CRM for a moment. It's been one month since they had escaped and instead of calming down, he was becoming more anxious.

Anxious of the war that was undoubtedly coming and also for what Jadis had been planning to get revenge from them.

Sighed as he shifted his body and saw that Negan was awake as well despite the early hour of the morning.

"Hey..." Rick said to him "good morning"

Negan faced him and offered a smile to his husband.

"Good morning Rick" he answered and moved closer to him. "Why don't you sleep a bit more?"

"Not tired I guess" Rick drawled but they both knew what was going on. "What about you?"

"Not tired either..." Negan said as he bit his bottom lip with worry.

Rick sighed and wrapped his arm around Negan's warm body.

"Are you thinking of her as well?" Rick asked hesitantly.

Negan had been upset that he'd stopped him from killing Jadis. If they had gotten rid of both her and Elizabeth then perhaps CRM wouldn't be a threat.

"I'm thinking that she should go to hell. That's the only place this woman belongs to. Especially after killing Jane and all the things she did to us" Negan said with bitterness and anger.

"Know that you will hate me for saying it but she does have another side. That's why I stopped you from ending her..." Rick mumbled as he'd seen Jadis' other side and couldn't just forget about it.

Negan looked at him intensely and knew that Rick had done all he could to survive while staying at that place. It was understandable to get attached to whoever showed him some kindness, even if that person was Jadis who had shot, kidnapped, and forced Rick into marriage.

"Will never hate you," Negan said as he stroked his cheek lightly "you are my everything, Ricky. When the time comes though, I will kill her. Can't be living life in fear of her returning and wanting to rip you away from me again...away from our family. We simply can't..."

Rick swallowed hard and didn't answer. Didn't want them to go to war but they'd be forced to as it seemed.

Negan got on top of him and kissed his neck tenderly.

"Forget about her Rick" Negan.

Rick's blue eyes met his and nodded to his husband.

"I belong to you Negan. Not her..." Rick said emotionally and Negan kept on kissing him in response.

Helped them undress and Negan took charge of making him feel good. Would never get tired of Rick's soft moans as he was fingered slowly.

Negan saw Rick's pleading blue eyes and he wanted to get tied up. To feel that Negan was in control of both his body and soul.

Attached the soft black restraints to his wrists and Rick relaxed for him completely.

"She can never have my Grimes..." Negan said in a possessive tone but was also upset about losing Rick for so many months.

"No, she can't" Rick sobbed as a tear escaped from his left eye.

Negan wiped it away and entered Rick slowly as they both moaned in pleasure.

"Shouldn't have left you all alone" Negan said with regrets "nor say that shit when we got reunited. It was just unacceptable..."

"Won't be leaving your side" Rick promised as he got Negan's need to keep him safe this time "never again"

"Don't make me tie you up..." Negan said teasingly but was also sad.

Didn't want to have to do this but it would kill him if they were to separate again, forcefully or not.

Rick moved his head closer and kissed his lips passionately. Feeling that they sealed an agreement in that way. An agreement that only they would know about.

Chapter Text

"Rick" Negan mumbled with want as they were having a bath together.

Cornered him against the wall of the bathtub and felt the warmth of the water on their skins.

"I'm here" Rick promised to his husband as he rested his head against Negan's and closed his eyes.

"Look at me" Negan ordered softly and their eyes met as Rick opened his blue ones again.

They both teared up and Negan hugged him tightly.

"Gosh I've missed you so much," he said emotionally. "I'm nothing without you, Ricky..."

Rick took in a deep breath as all the anxiety was coming back to him in waves.

"Know that I've disappointed you by giving in to her..." Rick sobbed as he looked downward in shame. "Should lay me to bed and punish me hard and yet you haven't..."

Negan sighed at that. The least he cared about was if Rick had gotten physical with Jadis and how often. He'd kissed Michonne either way so it's not like he'd stayed completely faithful either.

They'd been through an unbelievable situation and thought they'd lost each other forever. Would not use violence though to punish Rick especially for something like that. Only Jadis needed to pay, not him.

"All you need is love and affection. Real love. Not Jadis' bullshit. What does she know about making love to you, hm? Not a damn thing" Negan explained to Rick.

"But..." Rick said as Negan was too kind with him and what he'd done.

"No "but" Rick..." Negan said "we are both alive and together. Don't care about anything else and neither should you. Had her "fun", now the party is over"

Rick seemed unsure of himself and Negan resumed washing him gently. Focused on Rick's scar tissue as he washed off the soap and got on his knees in front of Rick who looked surprised at that.

Negan kissed his scar tissue and Rick took in a sharp breath. Felt him shaking a bit in fear since he was still very insecure to be touched there.

"Negan...-" Rick tried to make him stop kissing it. Not that he didn't enjoy the feeling, but it was terrible to look at and rough to the touch as well.

"Let me" Negan pleaded with him as he kept on with the tender kissing of Rick's stomach where he'd gotten shot by Jadis for refusing to follow her that night.

"Will be kissing it as often as you let me to" he announced as he stood back up "this scar is a reminder that I almost lost you. That I almost lost you forever..."

Rick touched his scar tissue and swallowed hard.

"If a war happens, we could die. You know that right?" Rick asked seriously.

"We could" Negan sighed "but gaining our freedom is worth fighting for. You taught me that"

"Yeah..." Rick said with sadness in his blue eyes "want us to spend the time we've left together. To build our relationship again. Promise?"

Negan nodded as he wanted it as well. So much.

"I promise Rick" he agreed.

Chapter Text

Enid sobbed hard as she saw Carl's bite mark on his arm.

Carl came to her with tears in his one eye and revealed that a Walker had bitten him that same morning when his dad and Negan had been sleeping.

"Why Carl?" she asked as she felt inconsolable. "Why did you go out there on your own?"

"It was wrong..." Carl cried as well as he dropped himself to the steps of Enid's house.

"Have to say it to your dad. To do something, before it's too late" Enid said urgently as she didn't want to lose the love of her life. The person that she'd come the closest to. Her eyes had turned to red as she saw Carl beginning to not look well already.

"There's nothing he can do..." Carl chocked out. "Plus they'll kill me for doing that to them...for being so stupid"

"When you die, how will I look them in the eyes, Carl?" Enid questioned him with pain in her voice.

"Hope I can last for some more days" Carl mumbled with bitterness "will send them away from Alexandria. They want to spend time on their own either way after everything that happened. You'll say I died some other way. Please, Enid..."

Enid sat down beside him and they both cried their eyes out. Rested her head on his shoulder and thought of the pain that would come with Carl's death. There wasn't much they could do though now that he'd gotten bitten.

"Don't cry, Enid..." Carl pleaded with her. "Had a good life. My dad is happy, my sister is growing up with every passing day and you're the most important person to me. Maybe I wasn't meant to live to turn eighteen after all..."

Enid sobbed harder as she hugged him.

"Will do everything I can to save you. Gonna try herbs, medicines. Won't let you suffer...I promise"

Had been training as a nurse for a long time now after all. What was even the point if she couldn't save Carl?

Carl offered her a sad smile and nodded. Despite knowing that nothing would be achieved. His life was over, that was the ugly truth.

"Yes, Enid" he agreed "we will try"

Enid sighed as she stood up and wiped her tears.

"Come inside. Have to make you look healthier if it is for your dad and Negan to not get suspicious..."

Carl agreed and stood up as well with tiredness. Could feel the area that he'd gotten bitten, burning up already.

It would take a whole lot of acting on his part to pretend that nothing had happened. Couldn't do that to his family though.

Walked to Enid's house with a big heaviness inside of him and saw her staring at the floor with a sore expression.

"Hey..." Carl said to her as their eyes met "it's gonna be ok"

Enid felt a pang of pain inside of her body and gave Carl a soft kiss.

"Be well for me Carl" she let out "can't do this if you're not here..."

Chapter Text

Carl entered his house and saw Negan cooking something for dinner like he usually did.

"Hey kid" Negan smiled and Carl tried hard to smile back at him "Where had you been all morning?"

"Helping Enid with something," Carl said as he tried to act as normal as possible.

"Helping her, hm?" Negan asked with a small smirk "was it helping or doing other things? Your dad wouldn't want to be a grandfather from that age, I would guess"

Carl felt his cheeks heating up a bit and got sad as he thought of how much it would pain his father when he was gone. Both of them. Negan cared about him a lot as well.

"Just helping" Carl answered in his teenager-defiant tone. "Can't say the same about you and my father though..."

Negan rolled his eyes and Carl got himself a bit closer.

"Why don't you two go to the Sanctuary for the weekend? It would do you good to get away for a bit" Carl suggested and wished that Negan would take his father away from Alexandria for two days.

Negan looked surprised at that but thought about it. He did want to have some alone time with Rick truth be told.

Bit his bottom lip though unsurely as he didn't know if it would be wise to leave them alone when CRM and Jadis were still a big threat.

"Don't know Carl" Negan sighed "I'm afraid for y'all"

"We have so many capable people to protect us" Carl insisted "plus don't think that Jadis is gonna attack that same weekend. That place, the CRM, is far away either way, right?"

"It is but they have helicopters" Negan explained "What about your sister?"

"Michonne could take care of her, you know how much she loves Judith" Carl pressed the subject. He didn't want them to be there to see his death.

Negan looked at him intensely and Carl was afraid he'd realized that he was in pain.

"Is it that you want to spend time with Enid without us around?" Negan asked instead.

Carl sighed in relief and nodded. That was a good excuse as well.

"Yeah, the house is overcrowded. I'm not as comfortable as you, to be getting it on with people all over the place, no offense..." Carl answered and Negan chuckled in amusement.

"Fine, if it is for romance, I'll persuade your father to go on a small trip. Not leaving you for more days though. Already lost Rick for so many months. We need to stick together now, kid"

"Yeah, we will. Not saying the opposite. Want to lay down now..." Carl said as he wasn't feeling well.

Negan stopped cooking and walked closer to him. Carl felt his body tensing up but Negan just rested his hand gently on Carl's shoulder.

"Your dad had missed you both very much. I can see him getting emotional every time he is talking about you"

"I've missed him too..." Carl sobbed out.

Negan nodded hesitantly and let go of Carl.

"Go rest and later on we can do homework together if you'd like. Romance is good but don't you forget about school" Negan said with a small smirk.

"Sure..." Carl answered and turned around to go to his room.

Was on the verge of tearing up and he would have if he stayed a bit more.

Chapter Text

"Carl?" Rick asked as it was unusual for Carl to be sleeping at that hour. "Carl?" he repeated and shook his son gently to wake him up.

Carl blinked his one eye and looked at his father who had sat at the edge of his bed.

"We are about to eat," Rick said to him and Carl stared at the ceiling with bitterness. He was
feeling very weak.

"Don't want to dad, I'm tired..." Carl answered as their eyes met.

"Did you catch a cold?" Rick asked with concern "could make you a soup instead...-"

"No, I just...I just want to sleep. Will eat later ok? I'm well, don't worry about me"

"How to not worry Carl?" Rick questioned as he felt his eyes stinging "lost so much time with you and your sister"

Rick teared up and Carl felt horrible for lying to him about something so serious. Couldn't say it though. There was nothing that could be done, no matter what Enid was planning to try in an attempt to save his life.

"You have been so brave dad" Carl mumbled "have to keep doing so, no matter what"

"Sometimes I want to give up Carl. I'm not that brave..." Rick admitted to him.

Carl couldn't hold back his tears any longer and they cried together.

"Will always love you, dad, want you to know that. You're my hero. Tell my asshole stepfather to be there for you this time. To not leave you on your own"

"He won't," Rick said with a small sigh as he wiped his tears. "Said to me to go to the Sanctuary for the weekend. Can decline if you want me to stay here with you. Negan knows that you're my priorities since I came back"

"No, dad" Carl replied as their eyes met "spend time with him, he's been very lonely as well. Will be safe here"

"If you're unwell, we'll not leave" Rick decided.

"I'm ok" Carl repeated as he did want them to leave. To not see him in his last moments...

"Love you very much Carl" Rick chocked out "know that I've not been the father you deserved. Let you get hurt so many times. Could you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive dad" Carl sobbed as he held his father's hand for comfort. "Go now...Negan gets mad when we don't eat while the food is still warm. Hope he can excuse me for once"

"He will," Rick said emotionally "will come to check on you again, alright?"

"Yes dad" Carl agreed "also tell Negan that I never disliked his spaghetti. They are really tasty in fact. Just wanted him to know that..."

Rick couldn't help but smile at that and nodded. Would pass it on to Negan.

Left his son alone and Carl stood still until he heard the door closing.

Covered his face with the bedsheets and cried the hardest he'd ever cried before. The pain was equal to the one when he had to shoot his mother. Now he'd have to shoot himself to the head most likely.

Couldn't turn into one of these things. He just couldn't.

Chapter Text

Negan saw Rick being teared up as he walked to the kitchen and frowned.

"What happened to you?" he asked immediately with concern.

"Nothing...just had a talk with Carl and we both got emotional" Rick said with a sigh.

"Where is the kid?" Negan asked as he'd served for them to eat.

"Wants to sleep, as he said to me. I'm worried that he got sick or something" Rick sat down on a chair as he was not feeling very well after their talk with Carl. There was a lot of guilt inside of him and it couldn't go away.

Negan wrapped his arms around him as he could imagine how Rick was feeling. Was very rough what they'd been through as a family.

"Will make him something else when we eat. A soup would do him good" Negan promised "I'm sure that it's not something serious"

"He told me that he never hated your spaghetti," Rick said to him and Negan chuckled lightly.

"See" Negan answered "we are ok now. Everything's gonna be ok"

"Hope so" Rick answered with a sigh "if he's not well though, we are not going anywhere. Need to take care of him if he's sick"

"Of course Rick" Negan agreed "not gonna leave the kid on his own"

"Don't feel ok to be making Michonne look after Judith either truth be told..." Rick added as their eyes met.

Negan swallowed dryly and hesitated.

"Why, because we kissed once?"

"No, Negan...it's just that I don't want her to feel like she has to run to my help whenever I have to be away"

"She loves the kids Rick. Don't think that she would ever see it that way" Negan tried to comfort him. Knew that they owed big gratitude to Michonne for all she'd done since he kept Rick as his prisoner.

"Gonna talk to her" Rick answered as he had to apologize for many things and say that he was grateful for stopping Negan from killing himself.

"Let's eat now, the dinner will get cold you prick" Negan scolded him gently.

"Will you give me a kiss first?" Rick asked as he bit his bottom lip.

Negan smiled at that and moved closer to his husband.

Leaned to be on the same height level and stared into his blue eyes.

"Can give you as many kisses as you'd like" Negan said lovingly.

"Do it then..." Rick mumbled and Negan pressed his lips on his softly.

Wrapped his arms around Rick and held him tightly.

"Will never be on your own again, you hear me? Gonna be there for whatever is gonna come in our way" Negan promised. "To protect you because that's my job"

Rick hugged him back and somehow he felt his pieces being glued together when he was in Negan's arms.

---

"Hey kid" Negan greeted Carl after he had let him rest for two more hours. Had said to Rick to relax or play with Judith as he had made a soup for Carl to help him feel better.

Carl sat up and knew that his plan was going very bad already. Instead of trying to hide his weakness from his family, was making it more obvious and there would be no way his dad would go to the Sanctuary. Should start trying despite being hard for him.

"I was about to stand up. Why did you cook a second meal just for me?"

"Wanted to take care of you, especially after complimenting my Spaghetti..." Negan answered with a small smirk "how are you doing?"

"I'm better now, might have caught a small cold...nothing to worry about though"

"Won't be going to school tomorrow, ok? Talked to Eugene already" Negan said to him "you should rest"

"Thank you because I can't be solving math problems right now..." Carl joked a bit but knew that he wouldn't be doing so either way since he'd die.

"Look erm..." Negan said hesitantly "wanted to apologize for how I'd been when your dad was away. Know that I should apologize for even before that...for keeping your dad from you and making him suffer even though I came to regret every second of it. I was too lost in my grief that I didn't offer you the support that was needed"

"I was already messed up" Carl mumbled "you did enough for us when it wasn't your responsibility"

"It was Carl" Negan sighed "your dad trusted me with the both of you and I should have tried harder instead of thinking only about myself. Also, you're not messed up, don't you say that"

"So I'm not a serial killer anymore?" Carl asked and Negan chuckled softly.

"Will always be a little serial killer for me" Negan answered "gonna remember forever when you shot two of my men"

"Yeah, very memorable moments..." Carl said as he rolled his one eye and kept on eating the soup.

Negan saw a comic book that Carl had been reading and picked it up.

"Spiderman hm?" he asked Carl teasingly.

"He's my favorite" Carl explained, "bet that you side on with the villains..."

"They can just be misunderstood kid, the heroes of their own story, and all that" Negan replied and handed him back the comic book.

"Maybe..." Carl thought about it "you are the villain of our story though"

"Did I turn into a hero or not?" Negan asked hesitantly.

Carl met his hazel eyes and knew the truth.

"You did, definitely did," he said to Negan. "At least you are better than the Governor"

"The one-eyed guy?" Negan asked "no offense to you kid"

"Yes he had an eye patch too" Carl rolled his eye despite feeling weak "bet that you'd have made him remove it as well"

Negan smirked at him and nodded. Bet that he'd have.

Chapter Text

Negan had just gotten ready for bed when Rick opened up the door of their room.

"How is Carl?" Negan asked Rick who had gone to see him and goodnight both of his kids.

"Says he's feeling better but I'm not sure if he's telling me the truth or not. Spend the whole day in bed though which is unusual for Carl..." Rick answered with worry.

"We will see tomorrow how he is doing and if he's not well, won't be going to the Sanctuary," Negan said to him as the kids were more important than anything else, even spending some time alone.

Rick sighed as he laid down and Negan did the same beside him.

Stared at the ceiling in silence for some moments and Negan shifted his body to look at him.

"Are you afraid ?" Negan asked because they didn't have the chance to talk about their feelings openly and they should.

"I am" Rick mumbled as he met Negan's hazel eyes "want to enjoy us being a family at last but know that I can't let my guard down...at least not yet"

Negan nodded slowly as he was feeling the same way.

"We are back together though, she can't take that from us right?" Negan asked as he took Rick's hand to his and held it.

"No, she can't" Rick agreed and gave Negan a soft kiss. "Love you so much..."

"Me too Ricky" Negan promised "feels like a dream that we get to have moments like that again"

"Yes, you asshole..." Rick sobbed and Negan moved closer to him.

"Remember when you got mad at me because I'd been waiting for you out of a barn in the cold weather whilst having a fever?" Negan asked with a small smirk.

"Yeah, you pissed me off" Rick agreed "as many other things that you've been doing..."

Negan pouted and Rick chuckled at his reaction.

"I will get a prisoner and leave you..." Negan warned Rick who rolled his eyes in response.

"No, you won't. Although I can hand you Axel if you'd like him"

"What are you gonna do with him?" Negan asked as Axel had been imprisoned since they returned.

Wasn't angry about it since he knew that he'd made mistakes but wanted to get freed again.

"Will gradually make him part of Alexandria" Rick answered "can't find it in me to keep him locked up forever. Realized what he did wrong and helped us escape so I owe him for that"

"What if I make you obey me instead?" Negan said suggestively.

"I think I'm pretty obedient to you already" Rick drawled as he chuckled.

"Seeing how I lost you for half a year, I would have to disagree with that" Negan sighed and kissed Rick gently.

Rick moaned softly and accepted his kisses as he responded to them.

"Love you so much," Negan said emotionally "don't want anyone else but you nor a prisoner..."

"I know" Rick smirked a bit at him and resumed kissing his husband.

Chapter Text

"Carl you need to tell them," Enid said as she had sneaked into Carl's room so that they could try some herbs and medicines. Carl was very tired though and all he wanted was for them to lay on his bed and hug Enid while he still could.

"No" Carl sobbed "can't do that...they were both so worried even when thinking I've got a cold. Won't be telling them that I'm gonna die in two or three days..."

Enid cried hard at Carl's words and buried her head on his shirt to not be heard.

"Please Enid..." Carl pleaded with her although it came out weak "don't cry...not for me"

Enid took in a shaky breath and tried to calm herself down.

"They are both very smart, Carl. You know that they are. Wouldn't be leaders if they weren't" Enid mumbled as she felt bad for what they were doing to Rick and Negan by not saying the truth.

"I know, Enid but it would ruin them and they just got reunited. Let them think that I had an accident. Not that...don't want them to be blaming themselves"

"Don't agree but I will respect your decisions" Enid promised emotionally "I'll try to support them as well..."

Carl smiled at her a bit and held Enid close to him.

"Thank you, means a lot to me"

"Wish that things weren't that way Carl...wish that we could be happy at last" Enid mumbled with bitterness.

"They will be. Don't think like that. You will be happy again as well as my dad and Negan. Have to move on, you all do"

"Don't think that I can..." Enid sobbed again.

"Will find the strength, for me and yourself. Henry is a good guy. Now that I'll be out of the way, he can finally date you if you'd like to as well"

Enid shook her head negatively though. Didn't want Henry. She wanted Carl.

Leaned in and gave Carl a soft kiss. "There's no one else but you" she promised.

Carl sighed and looked at the dark ceiling. Only a miracle would save him now.

---

"Hm no...no....don't hurt them...no!"

Rick woke up sobbing and Negan opened up his eyes beside him with concern.

"Ricky..." Negan whispered to him as Rick was very upset after having a nightmare.

Fell to Negan's hug and cried hard as his body rocked.

"You are safe," Negan said to him as he rubbed Rick's back gently.

Rick tried to calm himself down and looked at his husband with teared-up eyes.

"Sorry for waking you up..." Rick apologized and Negan shook his head at that.

"Have been through so much...want to be awake whenever you're not feeling well" Negan explained and kissed him on the cheek. "Did you get upset by saying that I would leave you?" he asked with a small smirk and saw Rick rolling his eyes for a second.

"No, because that won't be happening but I'm worried for our family," Rick said to him and Negan got serious again. Could get Rick's distress and he was feeling the same way very often.

"Will protect you and the kids" Negan reassured him "you mean everything to me. She's never getting her hands on you again"

"I'm scared though..." Rick said with embarrassment for being so weak.

Negan wrapped his arm around his husband and kept him close to him.

"Isn't that better?" Negan asked as he loved snuggling with Rick.

Rick took in a shaky breath and relaxed as much as he could.

"Yes..." Rick let out and kissed Negan tenderly.

"Hate seeing you teared up, you prick...breaks my heart"

"Can't help it" Rick mumbled and Negan just tightened his hug.

"Remember that joy on her face when she handed you to me, beaten up and in pain. Knowing that I would treat you like she expected of me" Negan said with regrets.

"The first three days only, after that you became that cute grumpy bear, I fell in love with" Rick replied emotionally.

"I had been watching that video from the time I visited Alexandria, just to see your face" Negan sobbed with pain in his voice.

Rick sighed as he knew the video that Negan was talking about. Had seen it as well either way.

"I am here now" Rick whispered to him and Negan nodded.

"I'm in love with you as if it's the first day all over again," he said to his husband as he rested his head against Rick's. "If we go to the Sanctuary, I'll be the one driving though"

Rick smiled at that and agreed. Didn't care who would be driving as long as they were together.

Closed his eyes again as Negan sang to him in a low tone.

"You are my sunshine...my only sunshine..."

Chapter Text

"Are you sure that you're ok now?" Rick asked as Carl had almost pushed them out of the house with Negan when Saturday morning came. "You don't look that well to me..." he added with worry.

"Yes dad" Carl protested "don't you want to spend time with Negan? Our asshole stepfather?"

Negan chuckled at that and Rick narrowed his eyes on them.

"I do want to spend time with Negan but also to make sure you will be safe here"

"We are just fine" Carl insisted as he knew that by tomorrow he'd be dead. Wanted them to be away from Alexandria. "Judith will sleep at Michonne's since she came by earlier to take her and I'll be on my best behavior here at home"

Rick sighed but his son was seventeen years old now. Could stay on his own for once he guessed.

"If you need anything, you should contact Dwight and he'll let us know," Negan said to the kid as he could see Rick being a worried dad.

"Of course" Carl nodded and felt his eyes stinging as he looked at his father and the person who'd become something close to a father. Saw Negan holding his dad's hand and knew that he was leaving him in good hands.

"Be safe Carl and will see you on Monday" Rick said to him and Carl didn't speak as he would be bursting into tears.

Watched them leaving and closed the door slowly.

Rick looked at the ground as they walked to the car and felt weird to be leaving his kids again.

Knew that it would be for two nights but had a tightness in his chest.

"Rick" Negan touched his cheek gently "don't want you to worry. They'll be ok here. Alexandria is a very safe place and you have the best archer of the Apocalypse as a best friend"

Rick smiled slightly at that as it was the first time that Negan was saying something nice about Daryl.

"I think that Alexandrians are starting to grow on you..." he teased him a bit.

"Well I'm in love with their fearsome leader so..." Negan smiled back at him and kissed his husband gently before opening the door on the passengers' side for Rick to get in.

Looked at their house once more and was worried as well despite not saying it out loud. All he wanted was to get rid of Jadis and that CRM so they could live in peace at last.

Going to the Sanctuary for the weekend would be an opportunity to unwind though and spend much-needed time with his husband whom he'd missed so badly.

---

Negan kept on driving and there was a silence between them. Knew that this was the area where Rick had been abducted by Jadis. The same one he'd spent so much time searching for him but in vain.

There was still some red on the road but most was gone by now due to the rainfalls. Slowed down and stopped the car as he could see Rick getting emotional from being there again.

"Are you ok?" he asked as their eyes met.

"I was so eager to come back to you and the kids" Rick sobbed and rested his head on Negan's shoulder.

"I know Rick, I know..." Negan sighed "that's why she needs to die. Want you to be happy again, not living in fear,"

"No matter what happens, I belong to you," Rick said emotionally and Negan felt his heart beating faster.

"Can't do without me for long, I have that" Negan joked a bit to lighten the atmosphere.

"Guess I can't" Rick chuckled softly and kissed him once more.

"Aren't you excited to be back at my old room?" Negan asked suggestively.

Rick blushed at that as they'd done many things to that room. Both memorable ones and others that he'd like to forget about.

"Nope," he said defiantly.

"So you wouldn't be interested in doing some naughty things?"

"Didn't say that..." Rick commented and Negan laughed.

"Will take it easy on you, baby. Want you to enjoy it" Negan said to his husband and his hazel eyes softened.

"Won't be an asshole? I'm impressed" Rick poked him gently.

"The Sanctuary is quite soundproof you know, so don't be challenging me..." Negan said with a smirk.

"If you behave, we will do something about it" Rick promised as they both loved making out and had missed it a lot.

Negan nodded and shared one more glare with Rick before starting driving again.

Chapter Text

"We've missed you two for a month..." Dwight complained as he greeted them both to the Sanctuary.

"I thought that you wouldn't want to be seeing me on the other hand" Negan teased Dwight but truth be told he'd missed them all as well.

"Wanted to tell you the news but didn't want to interrupt your reunion," Dwight said with a smile on his face and Sherry showed them her stomach that had a small bump by now.

Negan's and Rick's eyes widened and felt happiness at this news.

"We are expecting" Sherry announced and Dwight couldn't possibly look happier.

"That's great news, congratulations guys!" Rick said and Negan agreed. It was indeed great news and especially Dwight with Sherry deserved to be happy.

"Thank you" Dwight answered as they shared a kiss with Sherry. "Can't wait for a small guy or girl to come"

"Rest now so you'll be pretty knocked out later with both a baby and running the Sanctuary,"

Negan said teasingly and Dwight rolled his eyes.

"I will manage just fine" Dwight replied and was happy that they were all gathered up, talking, without the bitterness of the past getting in the way.

---

"The garden has grown so much..." Rick said with amazement but was also sad for not being around to see it happening.

"It has" Negan nodded as he looked around "you started this. Couldn't have happened without my Ricky" he added with pride as he could get Rick's sadness.

"Didn't do much, the Saviors tried a lot on the other hand" Rick answered as he stopped walking and looked at the Sanctuary. Somehow it wasn't as terrifying as it used to be.

Negan hugged him and gazed at the Sanctuary as well.

"You miss it?" Rick asked hesitantly "not being here nor the leader?"

"No" Negan shook his head "I do miss the Sanctuary at times since I lived here for so many years but wouldn't replace our home for anything else"

Rick sighed and tightened his grip around Negan's warm body. Felt safe there and that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

"I know a place we can go to be alone" Negan whispered to Rick as he heard some Saviors coming towards them.

A small smile appeared on Rick's face and nodded. Negan took his husband by the hand and led him inside the compound.

They walked upstairs and Rick was curious to see where they'd be going. Negan opened up a door and held it for Rick to enter.

It was the Sanctuary's rooftop and it had an amazing view truth be told. Could see so far in the distance at the trees and the blue sky.

"I used to come here when I wanted to be on my own" Negan said as they both sat down. "When I'd vanished that morning after saying to me about that nightmare you'd seen, doing...you know what to you...well, that's where I was..."

"You came back to me though after all" Rick said slowly and Negan nodded.

"I did because my guilt was too much to handle. Wanted to beg for your forgiveness Ricky...." Negan sobbed.

"I've forgiven everything," Rick said and gave Negan a gentle kiss on the cheek "no matter what anyone says or will say, I want you to know that you're the only one that I love, care, and feel so alive for. We've both made mistakes but I can see past these and want us to have a loving family"

"I want it too Rick," Negan said emotionally "I wish that we didn't have to live in the Apocalypse...that things could go back to normal somehow..."

"Maybe life will never be as before the Apocalypse but it can be close to that. We can make it..."

Rick quoted the letter he'd written for Negan before getting married.

"...together" Negan added and kissed his husband on the lips.

Chapter Text

"I will show you my secret spaghetti recipe at last" Negan said with excitement as they had gone with Rick to the Sanctuary's kitchen.

"It won't be a secret anymore though" Rick teased him and Negan chuckled.

"You won't tell anyone, I trust you" Negan added lovingly and pulled out what was needed. Had gone after the Saviors had their meal of the day to not interrupt the work in the kitchen. Wanted to have a romantic dinner with Rick though.

Rick cornered Negan against the counter and kissed him softly.

"Erm, we're at the kitchen..." Negan mumbled but he loved Rick's kisses regardless of where they were.

"Shut up Negan" Rick whispered to him and kept on kissing him. "Have missed you so much and feel like you own my heart...suffocate when I'm away from your touch"

"You're not hers," Negan said as a tear rolled down his cheek "even the thought of Jadis winning and taking you again, absolutely terrifies me"

"I will do it this time if that happens" Rick answered almost inaudibly "gonna end my life. It may be harsh what you said to me but can't live without you or the kids again. Was wrong to give in to her"

"Rick, you're gonna fight," Negan said to him decisively "killing yourself is not the solution to anything. Will fight and win. As well as everyone else who gets in the way of our happiness. My husband is not a quitter"

Rick sobbed as well and Negan gave him a tight hug.

"No matter what happens, you will fight" Negan repeated and took in a deep breath. "Also don't be listening to me when I'm tied up and upset. Say unacceptable things..."

"I won't..." Rick promised and Negan smiled at him.

"Come on now. Didn't come here to be crying. Will eat a delicious dinner and then lay you to bed" Negan said as his eyes warmed up.

"To sleep, I suppose..." Rick answered and Negan rolled his eyes.

"Of course" Negan chuckled "what else to do with such a hot husband after all?"

"Could play Cluedo again to beat you" Rick laughed as well and Negan loved hearing that sound.

"Tomorrow morning after breakfast we will" he agreed "although I'm not sure if I'll let you win this time"

Rick snorted at that and grabbed the recipe from Negan's hands to get started or they wouldn't be eating tonight.

Negan gazed at Rick as he started making the dough for the fresh pasta and smiled to himself.

---

"Carl, how can you do that to them?" Enid tried to reason with Carl but his mind was made up.

He cried as he was feeling so weak. "If they find out how I died, blame me. That I am the only one who wasn't brave enough..."

Enid cried hard as well and hugged Carl tightly.

"Will never blame you for anything. Do you hear me? They will get that you wanted to save them from the immense pain of not being able to save your life"

"Hope so..." Carl chocked out "that they can forgive what I did"

Enid wiped her tears and looked at Carl with pain in her eyes.

"I was thinking of killing myself but that will be too obvious when they find me so say that I wasn't feeling well again and it happened unexpectedly. Will get forced to kill me when I turn into a Walker..." Carl sobbed.

"Do you want me to be here...when it happens?" Enid asked hesitantly.

"No" Carl shook his head negatively "want you to remember me healthy and happy. Exactly like my dad and Negan"

"Love you so much" Enid admitted as they kissed "you're my light in this dark world..."

"Someone else will be that light" Carl whispered emotionally "I'm sorry that it couldn't be me..."

Enid took a step back as she was on the verge of bursting into tears again. Carl squeezed her hand one more time and let her go.

Closed the door behind her and lay on the couch. Saw the walkie-talkie by the table and picked it up.

"Dad, it may come as a surprise what I'm about to say, but you see I've gotten bitten and by tomorrow I'll be dead. Unbelievable right?"

Carl sighed and left it back on the table. He couldn't bring himself to say it, not even now.

Thought of Judith. At least his dad would have her.

Remembered his mother saying to him that he
was gonna beat this world. He wouldn't beat anything and anyone. Would die on his own instead and turn into a monster.

Once he had believed that his death would come from Negan bashing his head in with Lucille or bleeding out from cutting his arm off.

Negan had loved him like he was his son though in the end. Now he would be a disappointment and nothing else.

Closed his eyes and wished that he wouldn't have to suffer a lot...

Chapter Text

"I've had ages to enjoy a meal so much," Rick said as he'd enjoyed the food they'd made with Negan and their romantic dinner very much.

"Glad I've made my husband happy" Negan smiled at Rick and saw him being sleepy. Knew that he was waking up often due to nightmares and it was breaking his heart that he couldn't rest properly. "Come on Ricky, you need sleep..."

"What about making out?" Rick asked as the old Negan would be more interested in getting it on than sleeping.

"We have time to make out as well, now you're tired though" Negan explained and helped Rick with the undressing since he had to lay down.

Brought a pair of warm pajamas to put on and Rick stood still as he let Negan take care of him.

Picked him up gently and positioned Rick on his old bed.

Rick felt bad for not taking advantage of the fact that they were alone now and flipped their positions so that Negan was laying on the bed.

"Should thank my husband first and then we will sleep together" Rick said lovingly and met Negan's beautiful hazel eyes.

"You need rest though..." Negan said gently but could see that Rick wanted it.

Rick removed his clothes one by one and kissed Negan's neck passionately.

"Have to make my asshole husband fulfilled like he's doing with me"

Negan moaned softly and took in how good it felt when Rick was making love to him.

"You're mine," Negan said possessively and Rick shook his head in agreement.

"Yes Sir" he answered as it was their little game with Negan.

"Can I suck your cock?"

"You will suck me off and then gonna fuck you" Negan ordered but his tone was soft. All he cared about was for Rick to not be feeling forced to do things he didn't want to do.

"Agh yes Sir..." Rick answered with adoration in his beautiful blue eyes. Knew that Negan had been suffering without him around and wanted to be making him satisfied. Plus he loved these intimate moments between them.

Removed Negan's boxers slowly and leaned closer to suck him. Negan thought that he wouldn't last when Rick got his cock to his mouth and swallowed dryly. Patted Rick's soft hair gently and the younger man looked up at him. It wasn't with hatred though this time but need to see if Negan was enjoying it.

"Such a good boy..." Negan praised his husband who kept on sucking him.

Rick made him cum and swallowed obediently as Negan let out sounds of pleasure.

Licked him clean and Negan kissed his husband passionately as he got on top. Made sure that Rick
was laying comfortably and their eyes met.

"Let's make you feel good now..." Negan suggested and Rick nodded in agreement.

Chapter Text

Carl woke up to the sound of the front door opening. Blinked his eye and realized that he was feverish again. Wished that it wasn't Michonne. She would call his father and Negan when she would see him like that. It was too late though for Michonne to be coming by. Stood up with a small gasp and walked cautiously in the darkness of the house.

Saw the door half opened and felt his heart beating faster. Who the hell had trespassed their house? Was feeling very weak so he wouldn't be able to do much to protect himself.

Heard steps behind him and before he could do anything someone had pressed a knife against his throat.

"Agh!" Carl yelped in pain "who are you?"

"Rick Grimes," the voice said coldly. "Where is he?"

Carl froze but didn't answer which made the man if he had to guess, press the knife harder.

"He's my dad...he's not here...for the weekend" Carl let out despite the pain in both his throat and arm.

There was silence for a minute as the man thought about it.

"You will write your father a letter then. To find when he will be back" the man ordered and led Carl to sit on the couch.

Carl looked at him and only his eyes could be seen since he was dressed in total black which was also covering his head.
The man got a pen and a paper as he came back before Carl could escape.

"I'm CRM's prisoner. You have one week to surrender to them. Or they will kill me" the man announced as he pointed for him to start writing.

Carl felt his eyes stinging. No, he wouldn't be writing that. Was gonna die either way. His dad didn't know that though and would do anything to save him, thinking that he was a prisoner.

"I'm not writing anything" Carl snapped at the man which earned him a cold glare.

"Don't make me kill your friends, kid" the guy threatened. "Since I sneaked in here without getting noticed, should tell you some things about my skills"

Carl swallowed hard and felt his hands shaking.

"Did Jadis make you do this?" Carl asked in misery.

"Jadis wants her husband back" the man shrugged.

"Her what?" Carl demanded to know. His father and Jadis...? No, it couldn't be...

"Kid, enough with the talking. Write what I said to you and will cuff you. We don't have all night"

"Cuff me?" Carl felt fear growing inside of him.

"Kid" the man warned again "write the letter. Don't make me repeat myself"

Carl took in a shaky breath and started writing. Didn't have another choice. That guy meant business.

His letters were shaky but his father would still be able to read it and fall for Jadis' trap.

"Very well. See when you're cooperating" he pulled out some futuristic-looking handcuffs that were meant for him if he had to guess.

Carl couldn't let this happen. Made a run for the door but that man caught up to him easily and pinned him against the wall. Carl struggled hard but he was no match for him.

"Let me go!" Carl sobbed in pain.

He was ignored though as his hands were cuffed behind his back. Moved aggressively but the man just cut a piece of black clothing with his knife and used it to gag him so that he wouldn't be able to scream for help.

"No!" Carl protested but it got muffled by the gag.

"Stop resisting and your dad will hopefully join you soon enough kid" the man ordered and made Carl move.

Alexandria was quiet at that hour as everyone was sleeping and there was no one to save him...

Chapter Text

"You are hurting me," Carl said with tears in his one eye as that man had managed to get out of Alexandria with ease.

Bet that he'd been spying on them and knew exactly how to get in unnoticed. When they had left Alexandria, his kidnapper made him walk ignoring the fact that he was feverish and in pain. At least he had removed the gag from his mouth.

Seemed like a nightmare he would wake up from or at least die before they had the chance to torture him. He was worried about his father though and what he'd written to him.

His captor forced him to keep walking and soon enough he saw a black helicopter with three white circles on it. The same ones that his father and Negan had warned them about.

"Don't do that..." he pleaded with him "I'm 17 years old..."

The man turned his attention to him and his eyes narrowed.

"Life ain't fair kid, your dad should have taught you that. I'm 24 so not that older than you"

Carl's eye widened as he looked at him.

"You can be free from her...why are you doing all that?"

The man sighed and removed the black covering from his head. His left side of the face looked horribly and it was covered with a big scar tissue.

"You see kid, your father shot me to the head. I would have died but CRM's technology saved me. Don't care if he's gonna suffer. Has to suffer and so do you"

"He shot you to the head and you survived?" Carl asked as he couldn't believe that this could be real. He may have survived an eye loss but that was much different.

"As I said, kid, owe them my life. Name's Barca by the way"

Barca got Carl in the helicopter and he locked the door as the kid was upset.

---

Rick yawned and felt Negan kissing his cheek. Smiled at that as Negan was being a softie since they reunited.

"Hmm good morning, you asshole" Rick teased him "so much for letting me sleep last night"

Negan rolled his eyes but his husband was just perfect. Couldn't deny making out with him as often as possible.

"You are gonna nap at noon and will cuddle you to fall asleep easier" Negan promised as he knew that Rick needed rest.

"I was the one who started it, don't want you to be feeling guilty," Rick said to him gently. Needed Negan's touch since he'd missed it a lot.

"Love you so much, don't you ever forget that" Negan replied and gave Rick one more kiss.

"I won't" Rick agreed "love you too"

"Oh, I know that you do" Negan joked a bit and Rick hit him with a pillow as he laughed.

"Have a big idea of yourself" Rick smirked at his husband and felt a warmth inside of him.

"You wanted to thank me by sucking me off" Negan reminded him and Rick blushed at reminding himself of that. At least now he enjoyed doing, unlike the first time Negan had made him do it.

"Come on, enough with all that" Rick whined "want us to have breakfast and play Cluedo to beat your ass"

"I will be a hard opponent" Negan warned but he also wanted to lose on purpose just to see Rick smiling.

Hated seeing him teared up and with fear in these beautiful blue eyes of his. If anyone deserved to be happy, that was Rick.

Chapter Text

"Long time no see, Carl" Jadis smiled at him as Carl looked at her with tears in his one eye.

He was barely standing up and both his arm and head were hurting a lot. Had not died yet though which was unusual.

"My dad will kill you" Carl snapped at her and Barca gave their prisoner a push forward for Jadis to look better.

"Your dad is mine Carl and soon I'll be getting him back" Jadis promised as she examined Carl carefully. "Why is he looking so weathered?" asked Barca.

"Don't know ma'am but he put quite a fight to not get captured," Barca replied and Carl let out a chuckle which made Jadis frown.

"What is so funny?" she demanded to know.

"I've gotten bitten" Carl admitted to her with a weird sense of satisfaction when he saw her shocked expression.

"Where?" Jadis questioned immediately.

"My arm...the point is that your plan failed. Have nothing to use against my dad. Very soon, I'll be dead" Carl said as his one eye met Jadis'.

"How many days you have with being bitten?" Jadis continued, trying to ignore the kid's words.

"This is the fifth" Carl coughed out as he was standing tied up in front of that woman.

Jadis started pacing back and forth while thinking about it. Usually, people didn't last this long after getting bitten. Then again it could be that Carl was still a teenager. Could have a lot more strength in him than an older person. The issue was that he wouldn't be making it more than a week.

"Your dad knows that you're sick and he left you all alone and unprotected?"

Didn't seem like something Rick would do but then again his love for Negan was insufferable. Could have made him indifferent. Definitely for her but his kid as well.

"He has no clue about it..." Carl sobbed with regrets in his voice.

Jadis felt a pang of pain at the kid's sufferings but it was the only way to make Rick fall to her trap and force him to come back.

"Lock him up to one of the glass cells. Don't want him to turn and put other prisoners at risk" Jadis ordered as Barca made Carl move.

"Yes ma'am," Barca said obediently as he guided Carl to the cells.

---

"Beat you...again!" Rick said excitedly and saw Negan pouting. Was thinking of letting his husband win but then he got competitive. Still lost though.

Rick chuckled at his reaction but gave him a tight hug.

"You're such a grumpy bear," Rick said lovingly.

"I let you win" Negan tried to explain himself because he would never admit that he'd lost.

Rick rolled his eyes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sure" he comforted his husband "you may lose on Cluedo but you've got yourself me"

Negan sighed and rubbed Rick's back soothingly.

"Remember the first time we'd played that you were scared of me..."

"Rightfully so..." Rick drawled "you can be pretty intimidating"

"Don't want you to be afraid of any asshole" Negan sobbed emotionally. "Especially not me"

"I don't" Rick promised "you're my everything, Negan. Want you to know that..."

"I do" Negan mumbled as he kissed Rick passionately. "Needed this time with you"

"Me too" Rick replied "this place feels much different now. Once it was a prison, now it is a safe place where we can be ourselves"

"It will always be your home here as well. Doesn't matter that I'm not in charge anymore. Dwight will always welcome us"

"They seem very happy with the pregnancy" Rick smiled at that thought. It was rare these days to get to welcome a new baby.

"Eh well, I'm just glad she didn't get pregnant while being with me and it happened with Dwight..." Negan said in shame for what he'd been doing.

"Yeah, thank God for that" Rick gave him a judgemental glare "we do have kids you and me already. Don't need another one"

"They are the cutest" Negan smiled at his husband. "Love them both very much"

"Have a pretty badass stepfather" Rick teased him and their eyes met.

"When all of this madness is over and we are still alive, gonna take you to that survival hut we'd been staying," Negan said as it was something he'd been thinking about.

"Were you proposed" Rick pointed out with a smirk "of course you asshole. I'd love to"

Negan smiled at that and felt a warmth filling him up.

Chapter Text

Carl was feverish and wanted to start crying again. All he had wanted was to not cause pain to his father and in the end, that's what he'd achieved. Sooner or later he'd read that letter and surrender because he'd believe that it would save him.

Wished that Enid would say the truth, for his father to not bother coming there for him. They'd just gotten reunited with Negan and their lives would get ruined. Due to his childish behavior.

That man, Barca, put him in a cell that had a thick glass around it. Knew that they were afraid of him turning. Made him feel like he was a caged animal or something to be looked at. Sighed to himself and was trying hard to not break down when Jadis showed up.

"Let me out," Carl said weakly.

"You know that can't happen, Carl. Gonna keep you in there but our brilliant scientists will try to make it less painful for you. That's the only thing I can offer. Had been planning this since your father escaped but didn't want you to die" Jadis said as she walked closer to the cell.

A tear rolled down Carl's cheek.

"Why are you so cruel? I've lost my father for almost a year and you don't care"

"Things between me and your father are...complicated"

"Leave him alone at last" Carl protested "he's happy. With someone else"

"I seem to recall Negan almost bashing your head in. Was there, remember? If you can forgive such person, you can forgive me as well" Jadis answered defensively.

"I can't because Negan has redeemed himself. You didn't and nor plan to do so"

"Want to know the truth kid? Forced your father to marry me when being here. He's my husband and I'm not gonna give this up"

Carl's frown deepened at what this woman had put his father through.

"You're sick" Carl snapped at her "hope he'll be the one to end you"

"I just need him to call and say that he's surrendering back to me" Jadis announced "gonna bring you food despite not liking your tone. Then you're gonna let the good doctors check on you"

"Go to hell!" Carl said in anger despite his arm hurting him a lot.

Jadis shrugged and turned her back on him. Carl sat down on the bed that his cell had and took in shaky breaths.

---

"Hey helicopter boy come say hello... the guy's a cop, like you"

He remembered the first time he looked up. There was standing Carl, Lori, and Shane. Remembered Carl looking at him like he was seeing a ghost.

When he heard that yell...

"𝘿𝙖𝙙!" Carl had yelled out and run to him, giving his son the tightest hug he'd ever given him.

Then he hugged both Carl and Lori as tears rolled down his cheeks at reuniting with them. Shane had smiled at him, being glad that he was alive.

Rick blinked his blue eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Felt a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Rick?" Negan asked as he saw him waking up from his nap.

Rick wiped away the tear and looked at his husband.

"Why are you crying?" Negan questioned with worry.

"Remembered the time I reunited with my family, back then when I'd gotten shot at the beginning of the Apocalypse. Had been a very emotional time. I've missed my kid so much, thought I'd never see him again..." Rick admitted with a sigh.

Negan nodded slowly as he could get Rick's feelings. Especially since he'd been separated from his
husband for so long.

"The kids are happy now, Ricky. That's what you should think about. We're a family and no one can take that from us" Negan smiled at him and Rick agreed.

They'd always love each other and that was their strongest weapon.

"Didn't you sleep?" Rick asked as he sat up.

"No, preferred staying awake and watching you sleep," Negan said lovingly.

"I will tear up again..." Rick teased him but it was still very sweet.

Negan kissed him on the cheek and chuckled.

"Want to tell you of when Carl sneaked into the Sanctuary?" Negan smirked at Rick.

Rick rolled his eyes but nodded. Would be interesting to hear it from Negan's perspective.

"Well, he was hiding inside a supplies truck. I complained because my men had not packed something properly when someone came out of the truck and started shooting my men. Turned out it was your little serial killer who was holding a machine gun twice his size. I said, " Did you pick
that gun because it looked cool? You totally did, right?". Wasn't intimidated one bit. Pointed the gun at me and was ready to shoot. Said he only wanted me. I believe he'd have killed me if I hadn't used one of my men as a shield..." Negan pouted at the thought.

Rick snorted but gave his husband a big hug.

"You're such an asshole but I'm glad that you brought him back," Rick said emotionally.

"Always Rick" Negan promised and moved on top of the younger man.

Connected their lips and Rick felt himself melting into it.

"Gosh Negan..." Rick let out.

"I just love you, Rick. Simple as that" Negan mumbled, "I did horrible things at this same room but want you to keep only the good things that came out of this stupid imprisonment situation..."

Rick leaned closer for another kiss and nodded.

"These are the ones that matter" he whispered.

Negan kissed him some more and let Rick catch his breath again.

"Want to go for some horse riding?" Negan suggested as it was still day outside.

"You know how to horse ride?" Rick asked surprised.

"There is a lot you still don't know about me" Negan grinned at Rick who laughed.

"Ok then. If you get kicked off, I'm not carrying you back though..." Rick joked.

"So you will let a Walker get me?" Negan asked, acting sad.

"Yes, why not? If I loved you, I'd save you, but I don't" Rick poked Negan lightly.

"You're the asshole I believe, not me" Negan whined.

"Used to ride as a Sheriff's Deputy you know" Rick chuckled as Negan imagined how hot he'd look in a uniform.

"Damn!" Negan exclaimed "I would have loved to get arrested by you"

Rick turned red as he blushed but smiled to himself.

"Was mostly about giving out speeding tickets, you know..." Rick rolled his eyes in amusement.

"Will you give me a kiss instead?" Negan asked, ignoring the fact that they were supposed to get dressed.

Rick acted like he was thinking about it but gave in too easily. Couldn't get enough of their kisses.

"Do you prefer to stay in after all?" Negan suggested with a smirk.

"I do" Rick nodded "wouldn't want you to get kicked off the horse, after all, it's too risky..."

"Hmm, it is" Negan agreed and held Rick close to him. "Will you be a good boy for me?"

"Agh...yes Sir..." Rick agreed as their eyes met and knew that he wanted Negan badly.

"Let's get you naked then baby and will tie you up" Negan ordered and was already pretty turned on.

Helped Rick with the clothes removal and tied him up with the black restraints. Weren't as soft as the ones back to Alexandria but Rick reassured him that he was ok.

Negan admired Rick who was all ready for him. Saw his scar tissue and felt the usual anger inside of him for the pain that Rick had endured because of that woman.

Leaned closer and started kissing it again as Rick moaned softly. Felt that it was way more intimate to be touched there than anywhere else.

Felt Rick relaxing to his kisses and Negan's eyes softened at the trust he was showing to him.

"Please, Sir..." Rick begged "want you inside of me"

"Yes baby" Negan answered soothingly "need you as well"

"Negan..." Rick said suddenly as his eyes teared up "I'm sorry for giving in to her. Feel so bad about it...even said that you'd have replaced me..."

"You have nothing to apologize for" Negan shook his head "Chose me in the end and that's the only thing that matters. Would never replace you also. Did whatever you could to stay alive"

"Thank you..." Rick sobbed "makes me feel a bit better"

"Let's not mention that woman when I'm about to make you feel good" Negan mumbled as Rick took in a breath and nodded.

Jadis had no control over his life anymore.

Chapter Text

Carl sobbed as the needle invaded his skin and they drew out blood. Was trapped in a medical chair as a bunch of strangers were examining his bitten arm. Still was to turn into a monster and hopefully eat them all.

Tried to get out of his restraints but he couldn't.

"Calm down" one man ordered in a strict tone.

Carl swallowed dryly and was considering doing the complete opposite of that. Was feeling very scared and vulnerable.

Saw Jadis who was standing behind the glass, watching the procedure and if looks could kill, bet that she would be dead by how deadly he stared at her.

"How is the kid doing with getting bitten?" Jadis asked one female doctor.

"Just checking his blood sample..." she drawled as she looked at the screen when her eyes widened "His immune system is fighting off the infection!" said to Jadis who frowned at that.

"So he's not gonna die?" Jadis questioned as she had never come across a person who wasn't dying from getting bitten.

"Can't say for sure but it's the fifth day and he hasn't died yet..." the doctor answered "ma'am that's what we'd been searching for. If we test on him more could perhaps find the cure"

Jadis glared at Carl who had a sore expression on his face. Could Rick's son be the cure they'd been looking for all these years?

"No more testing for today. Should go back to his cell as it's still dangerous to turn into a Walker.

The kid won't be leaving anytime soon so you can experiment on him as much as it's needed"

The doctor nodded obediently and Jadis turned her back on the Infirmary as she walked out.

---

Negan released Rick after having some more hot moments between them and their mood was admittedly great. It had turned dark outside and Negan had disappeared to bring something from downstairs as he'd mentioned.

Came back soon enough while holding two cups of hot chocolate. Rick rolled his eyes in amusement and Negan moved to lit up the fireplace as well since the weather was gradually becoming colder already.

Sat comfortably in front of the fireplace as Rick drank his chocolate while enjoying the warmth and his ridiculously handsome husband who kept smiling like a fool.

"Who would have thought that big bad Negan would enjoy hot chocolate..." Rick teased him lovingly.

"You're right. I don't drink water either, prefer the blood of my poor victims instead..." Negan replied and Rick chuckled.

"I just expected you to be drinking whiskey and these kinds of things" Rick explained.

"Can't say no to a good whiskey truth be told, but love hot chocolate as well. It's as sweet as you are..." Negan said suggestively.

"So I'm not a prick?" Rick raised his eyebrow.

"You're my sweet, adorable prick and I love you," Negan said and gave Rick a soft kiss. "My little squishy"

"Make it hard to hate you when you're telling me such adorable words" Rick laughed and Negan smirked at his husband.

"You don't hate me though, I know it," Negan said gently and rested his head on Rick's
shoulder.

"No, I don't" Rick answered and let his now empty cup to the side as he wrapped his arm around Negan.

Negan relaxed for him and let go of all his defenses as they watched the fire moving in front of them.

Finished with his chocolate as well and Rick laid him carefully on the carpeted floor as they kept eye contact at all times.

"Don't you want to go to the bed?" Negan asked but he was enjoying the position he was in.

"No" Rick shook his head "want you right here..."

Negan nodded and looked at his husband. Was usually the one to be acting dominantly but he loved when Rick was taking charge of him as well.

Rick leaned closer and his lips asked for permission to his mouth. Negan moaned softly and complied as he opened up. Felt Rick's tongue exploring every inch. Responded to it and kissed his husband back passionately.

Could still taste the chocolate and made the whole thing extra sweet. Loved how careful Rick was of him as he went slowly.

"Do you want me to suck you off?" Rick asked and Negan nodded despite still being sensitive from before.

Rick lowered his pants and boxers slowly and saw that Negan was turned on again. Smirked to himself and lowered his head to pleasure his husband.

Negan whimpered a bit as his cock was very sensitive but he did want it. Rick looked up at him and flicked his tongue on the tip which made Negan moan in pleasure.

Fingered him as well and Negan couldn't deny how good it felt. Soon enough he allowed Negan to cum and tried to comfort him as his orgasm was very intense. Absolutely loved how they were reacting to each other's touch.

Negan felt his eyes closing against his will as he'd gotten tired but Rick helped him stand up gently and move to the bed.

Chapter Text

Enid saw Rick and Negan walking towards their house when morning came. She had been crying all night long, thinking of Carl. He'd have turned by now. Knew that she'd promised to not say a word but couldn't put them at risk like that.

They'd be outraged when they'd find out the truth about Carl and that it was hidden from them. Hurried to catch up with them before it was too late. Had never felt more bad in her life as well as shameful.

Rick noticed her first and smiled but frowned when he saw her teared up.

"Mr. Grimes..." Enid said as she shook in fear.

"My name is Rick, Enid" Rick protested as he knew Enid for so long now. Plus she was dating Carl and being a constant to their home. Couldn't be calling him still "Mr. Grimes".

"I don't think that I deserve to be calling you that..." Enid sobbed which made the both of them exchange a worried look.

"What is going on?" Negan intervened as something serious seemed to be bothering Enid.

"I will say it and you can both yell at me..." Enid mumbled, "Carl had gotten bitten and that's why he wanted you to go to the Sanctuary..."

Rick froze and thought that it was some joke they'd planned with Carl.

Negan was dumbfounded as well but chuckled as it got them for a moment.

"Nice one, kiddos. Let's not joke about getting bitten though" Negan said as Enid burst into tears.

"He wasn't sick, he was bitten. Didn't want you to know though nor be here to see his death. I tried to help him, I did. Stayed alone though in his last moments..." Enid answered as she was inconsolable.

"Stop it with this joke Enid" Rick responded as he was beginning to not feel well.

"It's not a joke..." Enid replied with teared-up eyes.

"Carl!" Rick sobbed as he almost run to their house.

"No, he'll have turn by now!" Enid tried to stop him.

Negan was shocked, to say the least. This couldn't be real. Carl would never hurt them like that.

"This better be a bad, a terrible joke," Negan said as he pulled out his knife.

Rick had paled and Negan was very worried for him. Opened the door cautiously and they all walked inside. There was only silence.

Negan hurried upstairs and there was no sign of Carl. Walked fast downstairs and saw Rick holding a piece of paper.

"What is that?" he questioned and Rick let it fall to the floor instead of answering. Negan looked at him with concern and picked it up.

"I'm CRM's prisoner. You have one week to surrender to them. Or they will kill me" Negan read out loud. The letters were undoubtedly Carl's but also very shaky. Someone had made him write this letter for them to find.

"What the hell is that?" Negan demanded from Enid who was shocked by what the letter was saying as well.

"I have no idea," she said, almost inaudibly.

---

"So let me get this straight?" Negan asked as he was feeling rage and immense sadness inside of him. "Carl got bitten six days ago, you both held it a secret, left him on his own without letting us know what was going on and Jadis has someone who managed to sneak in and out while taking a dying Carl along, all that without getting noticed by anyone, am I right?"

"You can blame me as much as you want but don't blame Carl. He just didn't want you to see him dying. As for the CRM, I have no idea who did that. It must have happened during the night when everyone was sleeping..." Enid mumbled.

Rick had been barely standing up, up to this point, when Negan saw him falling face-first on the floor. Jumped to his rescue and managed to get him before hitting his head.

"Rick! Rick!" Negan shook him, very concerned. Rick had passed out though.

"Oh my God," Enid sobbed as Rick was very pale.

Negan picked him up quickly to get Rick to their bed.

"Leave Enid," Negan said plainly and Enid knew that they had messed up big time.

"Stay with me Rick, please" Negan sobbed as he laid Rick to bed.

Checked his pulse and it was there. Negan sighed to himself and the only thing he could do was to wait for Rick to regain his consciousness.

Negan cried hard as he thought of their kid. Their Carl. How he hadn't understood that he was hurting...

Held Rick's hand to his and wished he'd wake up soon. That's all he could hope for at the moment.

Chapter Text

Rick blinked his eyes and was feeling very weak. Felt a lukewarm towel on his forehead and touched it. His head was hurting bad.

"Rick?" Negan sobbed as he saw that his husband woke up again. It had been two hours and was getting very worried. Rick tried to sit up but Negan stopped him by wrapping his arm around him.

"You should lay to bed..." he pleaded with Rick.

"I'm fine" Rick answered but was just...empty inside of him. Negan hesitated as he wanted to start crying again.

"Have to call Jadis" Rick announced. Wanted his boy back even if he was dead. "I will surrender to her"

Negan's let out a hard sob as his body rocked.

"The kid chose to not tell us, Rick," Negan said in a low tone.

"Should have known without having to say it. What kind of father leaves his dying kid on his own?" Rick asked as he was devastated.

"Don't surrender to that woman again" Negan said despite getting why Rick wanted to do it. Just got him back and it had been six days already. The chances of Carl still being alive...

"I have no choice" Rick answered bitterly "left me with none"

Negan walked out of the room to go make Rick a hot tea. Had never felt more desperate than right now.

---

"What the hell did you do to our kid?" Negan demanded as he had picked up the walkie-talkie and contacted Jadis.

"You're not "Rick" and Carl is not your kid" Jadis answered as she had expected a call from Rick and not "his husband".

"What did you do to him?" Negan snapped at her in anger as he had not received an answer.

"I won't be telling you of course. Tell Rick to surrender as soon as possible. Want my husband back and I'm gonna have him" Jadis warned Negan.

"Give the kid back" Negan sobbed as he teared up. "Don't you get our pain?"

"You were about to kill him yourself. Rick is his father and has to come here first before discussing anything that has to do with Carl. Will not punish him hard for escaping from me so he has nothing to worry about"

Rick had heard them talking and grabbed the walkie-talkie from Negan as he needed to talk to her.

"Tell me if he's still alive" Rick pleaded with her as he was still very unwell.

"Won't be surrendering if I tell you" Jadis answered despite feeling somewhat bad for taking his kid from him. At least he'd be happy that Carl wouldn't die, most likely, and being the only known person that could fight off the virus.

Rick cried hard and walked away as he was scared that Carl was already dead.

"Say your last goodbye to him Negan as he will be mine in some days. Don't plan on losing him again and will be going to extremes for it" Jadis added after some moments of silence.

"If the kid is not alive, find where you'll hide because there will be no one to save you from me. I will go to extremes as well because I'm tired of you ruining our life. What more do you want?" Negan demanded to know.

"Everything" Jadis replied decisively "I'm expecting a call on when he'll surrender and a helicopter will come for him"

Negan turned off the walkie-talkie and tossed it on the couch. Should have ended her when he had the chance. That's all he knew.

Chapter Text

Negan heard Rick crying in the bathroom and didn't know how to comfort him. There had to be a way out of this nightmare they'd been thrown into so violently.

"Rick?" Negan mumbled as he approached him slowly. Rick was sitting on the cold floor and crying his eyes out.

"I just want him back" Rick sobbed as he looked up and met his husband's eyes "please don't be mad at me..."

Negan sat down beside him and wrapped his arm around Rick, pulling him gently closer.

"Will never be mad at you. Did nothing wrong. I just hope that somehow, Carl is still alive" Negan said as he was heartbroken.

"I'm afraid that he's not," Rick said in despair "no one has lasted this long especially after getting kidnapped in his situation. Think I'm gonna faint again Negan..."

"Let's take you to bed" Negan answered as Rick had to rest.

The shock was big and their emotional state was really bad. Helped him stand up and walked to their bedroom slowly. Rick laid to bed and curled on himself.

Negan covered him with a warm blanket and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"Stay with me for a bit and then bring Judith...want her to be with us" Rick whispered as some more tears rolled down his cheeks. "Should have never left"

"No, we shouldn't have" Negan agreed, almost inaudibly "couldn't have changed the fact that Carl got bitten though even if we were here..."

"I am just a terrible person," Rick said as he had a huge heaviness inside of him.

"Don't you say that again" Negan warned him "if you're a terrible person, then I'm a monster for everything I've done to all of you since we met. She's just sadistic. Playing with our pain like that"

"Have to give myself to her" Rick said as there was no other way. "Can't be living without knowing what she did to Carl"

"Gonna ask Axel's help" Negan answered as he wouldn't let his husband surrender like that. Without trying to find another solution.

There had to be one. The thought of losing Rick again was too much to bear.

---

"Νegan..." Enid sobbed as she'd been waiting for him outside their house while he was bringing Judith to her home.

"Not in the mood Enid," Negan said to her and held Judith protectively as he was scared that someone would be harming her as well.

"Please hear me out" the teen pleaded with him as she was desperate.

"Can't forgive what you did to us, alright?" Negan answered as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks "you don't know what we've been through to create this family. Now all is ruined. Carl is most likely already dead and I'll lose my husband because that cruel woman demands to take him back"

"Made the choice he thought would cause you less pain" Enid mumbled and Negan turned his back on her as a sob escaped his mouth.

Hurried inside and closed the door behind him while locking it.

"Oh Judy..." he sobbed hard as Judith stared at him without understanding what was going on.

"Neg" she let out and Negan hugged her as he closed his eyes. Was feeling lost without Carl there. Soon enough he wouldn't have Rick either.

"Miss your brother so much. Even the thought that he was bitten and suffering in silence. Why did he do that to us?" Negan questioned but there was no answer to that.

Tried to recompose himself as Rick needed Judith right now. They had to stay together in these times, at least now. Didn't want anyone else but for his husband and Judith.

Chapter Text

Negan finally gave up on trying to fall asleep and shifted his body to look at Rick who was holding Judith and crying in silence. Thankfully the kid had slept but it was impossible to do the same. He sighed as it was breaking his heart to be seeing Rick like that. How to support him though? Both Carl and Enid had chosen to lie to them.

Rick sobbed harder and Negan moved closer to him as he wrapped his arm around him and Judith.

"He was saying goodbye to us," Rick said with a rough voice, "said to me that I would have to be brave. Knew that he was going to die and sent us away"

"No one noticed him getting taken" Negan mumbled as it had been a shock to Alexandrians that someone had sneaked in and kidnapped Carl.

Knowing the kid he wouldn't let anyone capture him just like that but then again had to be weak by that point. Felt so much guilt for leaving him on his own. Guess he was meant to be failing his family by making all the wrong decisions.

"I want my boy back..." Rick cried as his body shook "need to see if he's..."

"I know Rick" Negan sighed "I know. Can't be living without finding out. Either way, the pain is too much to handle. If you go there though, there is a chance you won't be leaving again. Judith needs you, I need you..."

Rick wiped his tears as he was filled up with anxiety and fear. Negan was right but he couldn't stand the thought of not going. Of not surrendering. Even if Carl was dead he wanted to see him, get to give him a proper burial. Couldn't leave his boy to Jadis.

"I'm sorry Negan," Rick said to his husband with pain "hope you'll be able to forgive me one day"

"What to forgive Rick? I'm the one who failed you and now I'll have to live with the consequences. Will try to find another way though. Can't let you go to the wolf's mouth without even attempting to find another solution" Negan chocked out.

"There is no other solution" Rick shook his head bitterly. Jadis wouldn't even tell him if Carl was still alive. How more cruel could she be?

"I am going to try anyway. Wait a bit before surrendering to her. Please..." Negan pleaded with him in despair. Rick gave him a slow nod but knew inside of him that he wouldn't be waiting. Tomorrow he'd surrender to her. If he delayed it more he was decreasing the chances of seeing Carl alive.

Looked at Judith and the thought of possibly not seeing her again was terrifying. Negan would take care of her though as he'd been doing for so many months.

He deserved to spend a life in imprisonment. Negan and Judith should get to have a happy one. Even without him there...

Chapter Text

"Wakey wakey Axel" Negan announced as Axel woke up pretty abruptly. He had barely slept on the other hand and needed his help.

"Hmm..." Axel yawned with a slight annoyance. "what do you want from me Negan first thing in the morning?"

"If you help, I'll let you out for good" Negan answered as he paced outside of the cell. Knew that Rick had not agreed to this but he was desperate. Plus Axel wasn't a bad person after all. Couldn't find it in him either to be keeping him locked up.

"What kind of help?" Axel asked as he stood up.

"Rick's- our kid, got kidnapped by someone from the CRM. Now Jadis demands Rick to surrender" Negan explained with a deep sigh.

Axel's eyes widened. "Which kid did they take? The baby?"

"No, Carl" Negan answered plainly.

"The one-eyed boy?" Axel asked with concern but Negan wasn't fond of calling Carl like that.

"Yes, Carl as I already said," he replied "want you to take me there"

"Erm are you out of your mind?" Axel said in shock "can't return to that place. They'll kill us..."

"Just want you to fly me there, may as well leave immediately after doing so" Negan replied "prefer to be me than Rick. No one will lock you up again"

"She's obsessed with Rick" Axel drawled as it was very extreme to kidnap his kid to get him back.

"She's a monster and I have to kill her" Negan clarified "didn't forget the fake wedding that you made Rick attend but will let it pass if you help me save him this time"

"Fine, fine..." Axel mumbled "I will. Let me out of here at last"

"Turn around to cuff you" Negan decided "if someone sees us I'll say that I'm taking you to bathe"

Axel sighed as this imprisonment situation was getting overwhelming. Knew that he deserved it though.

"Not gonna run away you know..." Axel said as Negan cuffed his hands behind his back.

"Don't fail me on this Axel" Negan warned as their eyes met "if you give a tiny damn about Rick, help me out"

"I do give a damn" Axel protested "wish I didn't but now it's too late..."

Negan's eyes softened at that and could see honesty in his eyes.

"Let's go then..." Negan mumbled as he led Axel outside of the cell.

Chapter Text

Jadis woke up to hers and Rick's bed. Soon enough she wouldn't be waking up on her own but with her husband. Rick would put up a fight of course but he'd have no choice when he'd surrender to her.

Wanted them to go back to being married and wasn't planning on keeping Rick locked up for long. Maybe the first few days as a punishment for escaping and cheating on her with Negan. Had to be more strict with him and not let Rick take over again. Needed to be the one in control of her husband.

Had screwed up big time by showing her soft side to Rick. He'd used it to his advantage. It had been very pleasurable when Rick was making her his though. Had felt wanted even if Rick was in love with that bat-wielding asshole. Sighed in frustration and touched Rick's pillow. Was aching to get him back. Soon enough he'd give in to her and maybe fall in love for real this time.

Killing Elizabeth had been a blessing for her so in a way she was thankful that Negan had done it. Had become the leader of the CRM and loved it. Could decide people's fates and whether they'd live or die. Rick's son was her most valuable possession so far though.

They wouldn't have to worry about getting bitten if they could fight off the virus. Knew that Carl would question why he wasn't dying but was planning to keep the truth from him as long as possible. Plus he was almost an adult which made her feel less bad about holding him as a prisoner.

Stood up and glanced at herself in a full-length mirror. Had never felt attracted to anyone like Rick Grimes. He was husband material and she wanted to be the one to own him. Suddenly a pain hit her to the stomach and groaned as she hurried to the bathroom. Vomited and felt herself panting. What the hell was that? Was feeling nauseous as well out of a sudden.

Threw some water to her face and moved slowly back to the room. Saw the mirror again and stood in front of it. Focused on her stomach and there was...Her eyes widened as there was a very small bump. Looked downward and felt it with her palm.

How could this be possible? Tears rolled down her cheeks and a smile appeared on her lips. She had a boy or girl growing inside of her.

Rick's baby.

Chapter Text

"It has run out of fuels," Axel said as he tried to get the helicopter to turn on but it wouldn't. It's been a month since they last used it after all.

"Damn it" Negan snapped in anger as now there was no way to get to Jadis. Saw the three white circles and teared up again.

Axel saw him crying and got out of the helicopter with a sigh.

"It's not just that Carl was taken, am I right?" he asked because he'd gotten to know Rick's husband and bet that he wasn't getting upset easily.

Negan wiped his tears and looked at the ground instead.

"The kid had gotten bitten, seven days ago. He kept it a secret and encouraged both of us to go to the Sanctuary for the weekend. Was dying when he got taken. Now we don't know if he's..." Negan mumbled.

Axel's eyes widened as he didn't expect that.

"I'm sorry Negan..." Axel drawled when they got interrupted by the sound of steps.

Looked up and saw Rick who was not happy at all to see them there. Not that he had any mood at all though. Still couldn't believe that Enid and Carl had done that to them.

"This is not bathing," Rick said to them pointedly but couldn't find it in him to be mad that Negan had let Axel out. Couldn't understand what they were doing there though. "What do you want with the helicopter?"

"Nothing" Negan replied "it's useless. Doesn't have fuel left"

"You wanted to go there, am I correct?" Rick asked as he was feeling hurt that Negan was doing all that behind his back. They were still in a big shock and was planning on leaving?

"I'll let you talk..." Axel said awkwardly and got inside the helicopter again.

Negan sighed and took Rick's hand to his.

"I love you and you're my everything. Wanted to go there though and not you. So I asked Axel's help" Negan explained. "Can't let you surrender..."

"You have to" Rick answered and stared at the helicopter with bitterness. "Gonna stay here Negan and have a life, just without me"

Negan teared up again and it was so painful the thought of losing Rick twice. Was already hard that the kid was most likely dead.

Rick approached him hesitantly and wrapped his arms around him.

"Forget about me and move on..." Rick said to his husband because he knew that if Carl was dead all the fight in him would be gone. It was gonna be impossible to escape again.

"Never" Negan chocked out "never. Will find fuel and whatever else is needed to turn CRM into ashes. Jadis will go down with the place while I'll smile. That's the only promise I can make"

Rick froze as this wasn't the Negan he knew that was sweet and gentle. This was the bloodthirsty Negan he'd first met.

"Don't you say that..." Rick whispered to him.

"She's ruined our life. You get that Rick?" Negan demanded to know "violence is the only way. No matter how long it takes, I'll end her"

Chapter Text

"Hear me out" Rick pleaded with Negan as they had to clarify some things before surrendering.

Negan was pacing back and forth as he was already thinking about his next move against Jadis.

"This is the only way. I know that you just got me back but she has the upper hand in this. You'd simply get killed if he had gone there. So thank God that the helicopter wasn't working"

"What we said, Rick? To surrender?" Negan asked "no, we talked about fighting and not giving up"

"I know Negan but Carl..." Rick sobbed hard.

Negan knew that it was too much to expect him to fight when his boy was most likely dead.

"Stay out of this and hopefully, I'll be able to escape from her" Rick added with a deep sigh.

Negan approached him and touched his cheek gently.

"I will try to save you. Can't stop me from doing so. We will reunite again Ricky" Negan whispered to him.

"If Carl is dead, I won't be the person you came to love anymore..." Rick said with sadness as his blue eyes were teared up.

"Will be and even more" Negan responded because he'd never stop loving Rick. "Because we are a family and don't want you to be suffering alone. Miss the kid so much Rick..."

"Miss him too" Rick cried and hugged Negan tightly.

"Lay down to relax a bit and will go make us dinner" Negan sighed and let go of Rick gently. Saw him looking at the floor and felt awful for Rick's pain.

Rick moved to go upstairs when Negan stopped him and kissed his cheek emotionally.

"Love you, don't you ever doubt that" he promised to Rick.

Chapter Text

Rick covered his face with the bedsheets and felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Had called Jadis to say that he'd surrender early in the morning and could almost imagine her smiling in satisfaction.

How would he leave Negan and his family again? What if his boy was already dead? Sobbed hard as he was feeling helpless. Jadis would toss him in a cell and that would be his end. Away from everyone he loved.

Heard the door opening and Negan laid down beside him in silence. Was about to turn around and beg to forgive him for what he was going to do but Negan simply wrapped his arm around his waist, holding him close.

Had been holding on to the walkie-talkie tightly when Negan took it from him gently. Knew that Rick had called Jadis, there was no need of saying it.

Shifted his body and hesitated to look his husband in the eyes. Felt shame and immense sadness inside of him. Negan touched his cheek slowly and their eyes met.

"Gonna survive this" Negan whispered to him "no matter what has happened to Carl. Have to promise me"

Rick swallowed hard. How would he fight back if all the fight in him was gone? Knew what he had to do though. Owed it to Negan.

"I promise..." Rick answered emotionally "this is not the end"

"No, it's not" Negan nodded "you and I will never just be over and done because I love you. I love you so damn much"

"Love you too" Rick mumbled and kissed Negan gently who closed his eyes at the feeling. "Don't you ever doubt that. Take care of Judith for me. Can't lose her as well..."

Negan sighed and nodded.

"Will never forgive myself for leaving them alone. The kid was determined to keep the truth from us though. It will be very hard Rick but can't be blaming yourself for what Carl decided. Did what he thought was right"

"Have to find out what happened to him" Rick said in despair "also discover his kidnapper. I will definitely be killing that person"

"Jadis is mine" Negan answered with determination "Gonna make her suffer as we all have because of her. Will come with you when it's time to surrender and if they dare mistreat you I'll rip their throats off"

Rick's body shook in fear of what was to come and tensed up. Didn't want to surrender but it was the only way to see his boy again.

Hid his face on Negan's neck and his husband held him as if his life depended on it. Couldn't blame him for being scared. Anyone would be.

Rick would need all the support he could offer. Was aching him that he couldn't take Rick's place and that he'd have to go through all that shit again.

Her time was coming though and he'd enjoy seeing Jadis dying. He'd enjoy it very much.

Chapter Text

"Your dinner. Better eat it this time and not toss it as you did with breakfast..." Barca said to Carl as he narrowed his eyes on him.

Carl had been crying non-stop and being in pain. Both his arm and head were hurting him really bad but he hadn't died yet. Instead, had to suffer in that glass cell with his kidnapper who was demanding to eat, even though he didn't want to.

"Leave me the hell alone!" Carl snapped at his captor despite his weakness as his one eye met Barca's scarred face. Didn't seem fazed though by Carl's anger. If anything his expression hardened.

"Your dad will surrender tomorrow morning. Our plan worked. So stop acting like a brat and eat your damn food" Barca ordered.

Carl sobbed harder though when he heard that his dad was going to surrender. All this mess was his fault and now he'd dragged Rick into it as well.

"How can you be so cruel?" Carl asked with a shaky voice.

"Easily" Barca answered with a shrug "will enjoy seeing your father's face when he realizes that I'm the one who took his son from him"

"If you knew us if you knew anything, you'd kill us. But you can't" Carl repeated the threat he'd said to Negan back then and Barca just smirked.

"You're adorable when threatening, kid. Ain't gonna lie. I don't blame you for being upset with being locked up and all that. Will stay here until you eat though. If you want me gone, I suggest you eat"

"I won't be eating" Carl growled "may throw it to Jadis this time around"

Barca sighed in exasperation but sat on a chair outside of Carl's cell as he wouldn't be leaving when his dinner was still intact.

"Were you always a little brat or is it because of your imprisonment?" Barca questioned with interest.

"Always," Carl said defiantly "tend to get more though when I'm being mistreated"

"Think that this is "mistreatment"?" Barca asked "others have it way worse than you. This seems like a palace compared to the other cells. You wouldn't want to end up there"

Carl didn't answer and stared at the ceiling of his cell in bitterness.

"Jadis is gonna make your father a slave again and it will be all because of you," Barca said to hurt the kid's feelings. Carl felt rage inside of him and tossed his dinner to the glass wall of the cell.

Barca stopped being amused and Carl froze when he saw him standing up with a hard expression on his face. Unlocked the door of the cell and Carl tried to protect himself as he moved to a corner. Was very afraid of what this man would be doing to him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jadis demanded to know behind Barca's back as he was ready to wrap his fingers around Carl's throat.

"Tossed his dinner again ma'am" Barca explained as Carl was looking very afraid. "Needs punishment"

"Get out of the cell and lock the door," Jadis said strictly. "If I see you in there again, you'll be the one to get punished"

Barca obeyed and Carl felt a relief inside of him. Their eyes met when he was locking him in and knew that he'd be most likely paying for embarrassing him in front of Jadis.

They both left him alone and Carl let himself slide down against the glass of his cell. Had never felt more afraid and desperate in his whole life.

Chapter Text

Negan sighed as he couldn't fall asleep. It was his last night with Rick who had been a mess all day long. Had fallen asleep eventually with Judith in his arms.

Looked at them and the distress on Rick's face was evident even while sleeping. Who knows where he'd be sleeping tomorrow. Either in a dark cold cell or with that despicable woman who had ruined their life and kidnapped their kid.

Imagined her touching his husband again and felt rage inside of him. Knew that Rick would have no choice but to obey since he wanted Carl back either dead or alive.

He wouldn't be able to do something as well but stay there and hope for the best. Slowly dying every day at the thought of Rick's sufferings.

Rick stirred awake and blinked his eyes. Saw Negan staring at him with a lost expression on his face and took his hand in his as he held it tightly.

"Want to remember you happy" he whispered to Negan who was very sad and rightfully so.

"Can't be happy with all that Rick. I'm sorry but I can't. Just got you back..." Negan sobbed.

"I could have been imprisoned by her for a whole year now but you saved me. Gave me love and my freedom" Rick mumbled "want you to forgive Enid and say that I do as well"

Negan averted his eyes as that was very hard to do. Enid should have said it to them and they'd be back immediately. Yet she chose to talk when it was too late.

"You will" Rick insisted as Negan was not answering. "Do it for me. Bet that she is feeling like we hate her"

"Don't hate her. Carl was in love with this girl but how to forgive that she didn't tell us?"

"Know my son Negan. He was the one to persuade her. Please talk to her tomorrow" Rick answered as he wanted the Alexandrians to be together in these hard times and not get ruined because of this.

Negan stared into his blue eyes and sighed.

"I will do that as well Rick. For you and only. Can't overwrite the fact that you'll be the one suffering once again though"

"She won't kill me, just wants to see me paying for escaping from her" Rick said with bitterness.

"I won't stay idle Rick. Will try my hardest to get you. That's my promise to you" Negan answered emotionally.

Rick leaned in for one of their last kisses and touched Negan's cheek.

"Gonna miss you so badly..." Rick whispered.

"You're mine, Rick. Always had and always will. She can never take that from us. Never" Negan promised as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Chapter Text

"Want you to be there for each other and Judith. Do I have your word?" Rick asked Michonne, Daryl, and Negan who had gathered up before it was time to surrender.

"Don't do this Rick..." Michonne said as she was inconsolable. Couldn't blame him for going but it still pained them a lot.

Rick gave her a tight hug and wished that there was another way but there wasn't.

"Look after Negan" he whispered to her as Negan was staring at the floor with a sore expression. Would need the support as well.

"I will" Michonne promised and hugged him back. "Come back to us"

Daryl had been crying in silence and blamed himself for not keeping his guard up. Should have known that Carl was in danger and yet he let him get taken from under their noses.

Rick looked at his best friend and hugged him before Daryl could say anything.

Daryl sobbed hard and it was heartbreaking to be seeing his friend about to leave without knowing if they'd ever see each other again.

"Shh," Rick tried to comfort him "Daryl Dixon is strong and doesn't give up. You will do the same this time as well. I'm leaving my asshole husband to you and Michonne, please don't kill each other..."

He tried to make the atmosphere a bit lighter although it was hard.

"Hope that Carl is alive Rick and to bring him home," Daryl said emotionally "we will be ok here, my only concern is you"

"Will be fine as well. Don't worry" Rick said although he knew that it would be far from fine.

Gave Judith a gentle kiss on top of her soft hair and handed her to Michonne. They were all teared up and felt something tightening up inside of him.

Turned his back on them as if he stayed some more it would be impossible to leave.

Negan took him by the hand as they walked outside of their house. It was still dark but some light was beginning to show on the horizon.

Had not bothered to pack something with him since he knew that his things would most like be taken from him.

Felt like he was walking to the gallows but he had to know what happened to his boy. He just had to.

They walked for about ten minutes and saw the black helicopter. There were four soldiers outside who seemed to get ready when they noticed them.

Rick ignored them and turned to his husband as Negan was looking at the helicopter with anger. Wanted to kill them all and take it over.

"Look at me" Rick pleaded with him and touched his cheek gently.

Negan did reluctantly and his hazel eyes softened as he met Rick's blue ones.

"You will let them take me and go back to Alexandria. Tomorrow you'll forgive Enid as we discussed. That's what I need from you"

Negan wrapped his arms around him and couldn't control his tears.

"I will be thinking of you and try to save you. Every day, every moment"

Rick kissed him passionately and cried as well.

"You're the love of my life. My asshole Master and husband..." Rick said with a small smirk. "The sun will shine for us again...one day"

"Don't let her harm you to be defiant or to not hurt my feelings" Negan mumbled despite the fear inside of him "do whatever you should to survive"

"Yes..." Rick whispered back at Negan. "Love you"

With that, he walked towards the helicopter, and Negan was aching to stop him. He didn't though. Knew that this was something that Rick had to do.

Saw them grabbing Rick's wrists behind his back and putting handcuffs on. Rick didn't resist at all and soon he was out of his sight as they led him inside the helicopter.

Negan saw it taking height and got on his knees as he stared at it with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Rick..." he choked out with pain as he looked at the helicopter until it vanished from before his eyes.

Chapter Text

Negan took a deep breath and knocked on Enid's front door. Soon enough she opened up and saw that she had dark circles under her eyes like she had not slept at all. Was obvious that Enid had been crying as well.

Sighed to himself as Rick had been right. Shouldn't keep this up or who knows what other issue would be caused. She was just a teenager after all while he was a grown-ass man. Should swallow his pain and forgive her.

Enid looked surprised to see him and bit her bottom lip in fear. Expecting him to snap again.

"Good morning Enid," Negan said with roughness in his voice.

"Morning..." Enid answered hesitantly.

"Can I come in?" he asked and for a minute it seemed like Enid would say no but nodded instead.

"Yes, come in..." she mumbled and let Negan walk inside.

"Nice house" Negan commented as he'd never been to her house before. Knew she'd be staying alone as Enid had been taken in by Alexandria when the Wolves were defeated.

"It gets lonely," Enid said as she was making herself a cup of tea. "Especially now that Carl won't be coming around..."

Enid teared up again and Negan felt awful for speaking to her in that manner.

"Hey," Negan said to her as he approached Enid "want you to know that we are not mad at you. Rick made me promise that I'd tell you before he surrendered and I mean it. Carl asked you to keep it a secret and you did so because you care"

"We broke your trust with what we did" Enid sobbed "you don't have to forgive me. I understand it and I'm sorry that you had to lose Rick as well"

"Rick would never leave his son alone. I was the one to pressure him to go to the Sanctuary. Couldn't have known that things were this serious but there's no changing what happened. Don't feel guilt though. Not because of me..." Negan pleaded with her.

"Gonna take time to heal from this if we ever heal," Enid said in despair as she dropped herself on the couch.

"It will" Negan agreed "we have to keep living though because there are still people who need us. I have Judith that Rick trusted me with. Can't let her get harmed"

"Remember Carl telling me how much you were getting on his nerves, back when you had captured Alexandria" Enid recalled, and Negan couldn't help but let out a short chuckle.

"I and the kid came a long way," he said as the thought of Carl's possible death was killing him from the inside out.

"Even if he didn't survive want us to give him a burial" Enid confessed as she averted her eyes in pain.

"Want it as well" Negan answered with a deep sigh "that despicable woman though doesn't even care about these things. Don't know what the hell she cares about though. Ruining our life perhaps"

"Carl said to me that she was the one to shoot Rick, is it true?" Enid asked in shock.

"It is" Negan confirmed "she needs to die at last. Especially after kidnapping Carl. Will find a way to get to her even if she hides on the other side of the Earth. There's no one saving her from me this time around. Gonna be the one to make her leave this world. Once and for all"

Chapter Text

Rick was put in a cell, different from the ones that he and Negan had been locked up the previous time. They'd removed his shirt and pants forcefully, leaving him only with the boxers on and his hands tied up behind his back which he bet was ordered by Jadis. Wanted to ridicule him once more like back then when she'd first captured him.

Felt anxiety growing inside of him as he heard steps approaching. Looked up and saw Jadis who unlocked the door of his cell with a big smirk on her face. Tensed up when she approached him but couldn't defend himself either way.

"Took a month to get you but it was worth it for this moment and only" Jadis commented as she looked at Rick's body without even trying to pretend. He was her husband and child's father but she wouldn't admit the second one just yet. Needed to punish him first and then she'd reveal it to make Rick warm up to her.

"What did you do to Carl?" Rick asked instead with tears gathering up in his eyes.

Jadis leaned in for a gentle kiss though and didn't answer.

"Shut up Rick" she whispered to him "first I'm gonna enjoy having you back"

"I surrendered...tell me what happened to my son," Rick said in devastation.

"Want to have my fun with you and I will" Jadis ordered as her tone got strict. Rick subdued and lowered his gaze with pain in his eyes.

Jadis sighed and took her sweet time to be caressing his body. Focused on the scar tissue and tried to be gentle with him since she was the one to have caused it.

Rick trembled as he hated to be touched there. Only Negan was allowed to do so because he was the one that had suffered due to that shot. There was nothing to do to stop her though.

"My gorgeous husband..." Jadis let out with want and Rick wanted to vomit.

She lowered his boxers slowly and Rick tensed up again. It was a nightmare to be forcing him to cheat on Negan while he was tied up and helpless.

Jadis didn't seem to share the same feelings as Rick as she got on her knees to suck him off. Tried to stop his body from responding to her and tried to show how much he hated it. She tried extra hard though as Jadis got Rick's defiance to let out even a moan.

Rick bit his bottom lip and stayed in silence while Jadis was sucking his cock. Made him cum and Jadis glared at Rick who was looking miserable instead of satisfied.

"You will start reacting to me again," she said as Rick had to be thinking of her and only. Had to erase Negan from his mind especially now that they'd be having their own family.

"Dream on..." Rick answered and Jadis turned him around to be facing the cell's wall.

Hit his bottom with her palm and Rick whined in pain.

"Forget what you knew Rick. I'm not as you remember anymore. Failing to please me will lead to punishment" Jadis warned.

She rubbed his ass cheeks to soothe the pain and turned Rick back to be facing her.

"That's how you should have been since I captured you. Naked and in my mercy. Life gave me a second chance though"

Rick breathed heavily and felt fear filling him up. How would he escape this hell?

Chapter Text

"Decided to stop being weak and fight for what I want. You're mine and had to get you back. Even if it was like that" Jadis announced as she crossed her arms above her chest.

Thankfully her bump was too small for Rick to notice. Was not a good time to reveal it.

"Where is my son?!" Rick snapped at her in anger.

"Locked up but alive," Jadis said to him "that's the only thing I can tell you about Carl. If you behave for me I'll let you see him"

"He needs help, had gotten bitten..." Rick begged in despair as he couldn't understand how it was possible to not have died when almost a week had passed. Wondered if Jadis was simply lying to him.

"Won't be talking about Carl any longer" Jadis ordered and saw Rick's blue eyes turning cold. Felt bad but couldn't say that Carl was the cure just yet either. Needed to test the kid more so that they could find the immunity they'd been looking for.

"Don't make me punish you harder Rick" she warned "could have done it already but don't test me"

"Hate you," Rick said with pain "you've ruined my life"

"Will have a new life, with me. It's your choice if you're gonna make us both suffer or if it will be a happy one" Jadis answered as their kid was growing inside of her. "Leaving again is not a choice though"

"You're sick. Simple as that" Rick replied to her.

"Why did you stop Negan from ending me then?" Jadis asked as she walked closer to him.

Rick averted his eyes and knew that he should have let him do it.

"Maybe because you saw that I'm not sick but rather gentle and loving" Jadis continued "when you don't piss me off at least"

"I don't want to be with you. How much clearer to make it?" Rick growled.

"You do. Just think that you owe Negan something. Don't owe him shit. We could rule the CRM together" Jadis insisted.

"Will never surrender to you" Rick answered "never"

"A night locked up like that, only with the underwear, will put some sense into you," she said "you'll break eventually. If you don't behave, forget Carl. Gonna enjoy our bed and soon enough I'll be having you there to make love to me"

Jadis made him sit down on the cold floor of the cell and turned her back on him. Their eyes met as she locked the door decisively.

Rick had hurt in his beautiful blue eyes but she wouldn't let him influence her decisions. Not one bit.

Chapter Text

Axel stirred awake and saw Negan walking close to the bars of his cell. He sat down on a chair and looked at the floor with a sore expression.

Sighed to himself as he got that Negan was not alright. Especially since he didn't have anything better to do other than visiting him so late at night.

"What are you doing here?" Axel asked as he sat on his bed.

"Wanted someone to talk to and knew that you'd be the only one to not mind..." Negan answered.

"Who said that I don't mind?" Axel joked but Negan didn't laugh. "So Rick did it after all judging by your mood..."

"You mean surrendering to that woman? Yes, he did" Negan confirmed and was on the verge of tearing up again.

"He did what he had to, for his son," Axel said thoughtfully but could get Negan's pain.

"Will be seeing me a lot from now and on since Rick is gone" Negan replied with a deep sigh. Was thinking of letting Axel stay with him if he wanted to. What was the point of keeping him locked up any longer? Didn't want to have to be taking care of a prisoner. Himself and Judith were enough to deal with already.

"Look erm..." Axel drawled "I'm truly sorry for how I treated Rick and all of you. If anything putting me in this cell, made me realize this. Wish I could turn back time and not make him marry Jadis..."

Negan almost sobbed at that. Wished he could turn back the time as well. To not make Rick his slave, to save him from all these threats and prevent Carl from going through all that without letting them know. He couldn't turn back time though. No one could.

"Yeah..." Negan said bitterly "wish I hadn't done many things as well"

"Rick talked to me about your wife and how much it hurt you. My wife died as well. Got bitten. I get that going through something like that changes you. Makes you cold on the inside..." Axel admitted as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"It does" Negan nodded slowly "I'm sorry for your loss Axel, I am"

"If you let me I can help you find fuels for the helicopter" Axel mumbled "won't be easy but perhaps we could find some to at least go there"

"Aren't you worried about getting captured?" Negan asked in surprise "you did betray them after all"

"No" Axel shook his head "if it is to see this place get blown up, I may as well blow up with it"

Negan stood up as he got the keys of the cell out. Moved decisively closer and unlocked the door much to Axel's surprise.

"Come on, you'll be spending the night at our house. Don't want you to catch a cold or something after all and then having to take care of you..."

Axel teared up at that and walked out of the cell, although he was afraid that Negan would say that he was only joking.

"Buddies?" he asked hopefully and Negan rolled his eyes despite it all.

"You're not my type Axel but in time you might be..."

Axel smirked to himself a bit and they both walked out of the prison.

Chapter Text

Rick groaned in pain as he'd been trying all the techniques he knew to get rid of the cuffs but to no avail. CRM's handcuffs weren't ordinary ones after all. Way more advanced and to make escaping them impossible. Sobbed hard and rested his head against the wall of his cell.

Wanted Negan to hug him tightly and say that they would be getting their kid back. Negan wasn't there to comfort him though but so many miles away. He was all alone against Jadis and still didn't know if she was telling the truth about Carl or not.

Heard the door of the prison opening up and tensed. Who could it be so late at night? Jadis had made it very clear that he'd be spending his first night locked up after all. Saw a man dressed in all black and his head was also covered apart from his eyes. The man approached his cell and seemed to enjoy seeing him like that.

"Who are you?" Rick asked roughly.

The man kept staring at him and took him a minute to answer.

"I'm the one who kidnapped your son. Put quite a fight. Should be proud of your boy Rick" the man answered and Rick's eyes widened in rage.

"Show me your face then, you son of a bitch" Rick snapped at him "let's see who takes a kid hostage to get back on me!"

"Are you sure that you want it?" the man asked, without losing his calm.

"Yes. Want to be seeing that same face when I'll be murdering you!" Rick growled and stood up again.

"Ok, then. Don't say I didn't warn you..."

Barca removed the covering from his scarred face and enjoyed the look of disbelief on Rick's face.

"Did you see a ghost, Grimes? I'm Barca. The same Barca that you shot to the head" Barca said to him as their eyes met.

"How...? You can't be alive..." Rick drawled as he was at a loss of words.

"Jadis and our brilliant scientists saved my life. What better way to repay them by kidnapping the kid of the man that made us all suffer so much, hmm? Plus surviving came at a cost" Barca showed him his scarred face which he despised.

"You said to me to kill you because you believed that it would be saving my life and helping me get away from here" Rick reminded him.

"I was a moron Rick who thought you were worth the rescue, but you aren't. Belong in a cage. Jadis helped me see that clearly" Barca shrugged.

"What did you do to my son?!" Rick asked aggressively as this wasn't the Barca he'd come to know during his first imprisonment. The one who had sacrificed himself to save his life.

"The little brat you call a son? Put him in a cell as well. He's at Jadis' mercy and so are you. Better behave" Barca warned.

"You are not Barca," Rick said in despair. No, Barca wasn't cruel.

"I am Barca. Just a more decisive one who is not willing to die for a Grimes again"

"Jadis is using you. Like Elizabeth did before her and that's why you hated her" Rick answered with pain in his voice.

Barca unlocked the door of the cell and walked in. Wrapped his fingers around Rick's throat and pressed him against the cold wall. Rick growled as he felt his air passage closing and tried to get away from him.

"No one is using me!" Barca yelled at his face.

Slapped Rick on the cheek and walked out of the cell. Rick coughed out and tried to catch his breath again. Could feel hatred filling him up.

Negan had been right. They should have ended Jadis while they still could. Barca may believe that she'd brought him back from the dead but she had created a heartless monster instead.

Chapter Text

Negan blinked his eyes after some hours of trying to fall asleep but it was impossible. Sighed to himself as he touched Rick's pillow gently. Where would his husband be sleeping tonight? Either at a cell or Jadis would make him sleep with her.

Negan sobbed hard and rested his head on Rick's pillow. Missed him terribly already and it was so painful to know that they'd have to go through yet another hardship.

Stood up and walked downstairs. Needed a drink right now. Perhaps it would help him numb the pain. Some more tears rolled down his cheeks and froze when he heard Axel's voice who was supposed to be sleeping on the couch.

"Negan?" Axel asked as he sat up "Why are you not sleeping? "

"I can't..." Negan managed to choke out and Axel felt bad to be seeing him like that. Stood up from the couch and walked closer to Negan.

"Would you mind some company?" Axel asked hesitantly. He couldn't sleep either after spending a whole month being locked up in a cell.

"You will have to bear with me being all sappy" Negan answered and had a sore expression on his face.

"Fine by me..." Axel mumbled and they sat in the kitchen while Negan pulled out a bottle of whisky.

They took a sip in silence and Negan looked around at the same place he and Rick had one of their most intense fights back then.

"Would you believe that I and Rick had tried to kill each other on multiple occasions?" Negan asked.

"Since I got to know you both, I would" Axel nodded as Rick had said to him that Negan had kept him as a prisoner for a period "but you love each other"

"We do" Negan confirmed "I miss him so much already...both him and Carl"

"Look I know that things don't look good but Rick is a tough nut. Wouldn't want you to worry and be upset" Axel tried to comfort him.

"I believe that she's gonna force him into things again because she has the kid," Negan said miserably "he doesn't deserve all that shit"

"No, he doesn't but need to have faith in him. We'll try to help him from here as well but don't think that he's willing to tolerate being mistreated. Gonna fight it, Negan"

Negan let some tears roll down his cheeks and took in a trembling breath.

"I'm nothing without him" Negan admitted bitterly.

"You have Judith. For her, you're important. I'm sure of it" Axel pointed out "and you have me as well. Rick had promised that Alexandrians are friendly. Maybe I can be a friend of yours if you don't end up killing me at least..." he added.

Negan offered him a small smirk at that and sighed.

"I'm not an Alexandrian you know but I might end up liking you...just might"

"That's enough for me," Axel said with a smile.

Chapter Text

One week later.

"Rick is gone because of you!" Daryl growled in anger as they'd been fighting with Negan.

Negan barely controlled his anger to not attack him.

"Say that again Dixon? Dare to say it one more time!" Negan snapped at him as he was outraged.

"Hey, hey" Axel intervened as Judith started crying from their argument. "There's a baby girl and me in the room. You're not alone"

Negan felt bad instantly for upsetting Judith and picked her up for a hug.

It had been seven days since Rick surrendered to Jadis and things at Alexandria were becoming tense. Daryl filled up with pain for not stopping Carl from getting taken, had started accusing Negan.

That he was the one to blame for all the bad things that had happened to Rick and Carl. Couldn't disagree entirely but it still hurt like hell to be accused when he was already feeling like crap.

"Let's all relax, shall we?" Axel continued as he could see Negan and Daryl being mad at each other.

"You tell him that," Negan said as his eyes narrowed on Daryl.

"Why are you acting like that? As far as I know, Rick made you promise to be there for each other" Axel pointed out as they'd lasted only some days before the blaming began.

"Will never forgive a person who had me locked up and feeding me dog food!" Daryl answered in anger "not to mention what you did to Rick. Wish he'd never agreed to marry you!"

Both Negan's and Axel's eyes widened as this was very painful to hear from Rick's best friend.

Daryl walked out of the house as fast as possible and Negan focused on Judith, trying hard to not tear up.

Axel was about to say something but Negan left and locked himself in their room. Left Judith gently on the bed and picked up a book. All he wanted was to read for her and maybe he'd forget Daryl's harsh words.

Or that Rick was suffering in that place. Although this could never happen and he knew it very well.

---

"What the hell have you done to Carl?!" Rick yelled at Jadis after her one-week refusal to let him see if his boy was still alive as she was saying at least.

"He's alive, I'm not lying" Jadis answered but couldn't let Rick see him. Carl had realized that he was apparently not gonna die and was fighting hard to not get tested. If he saw his father, he'd become way more stubborn than he already was.

Had brought Rick to her room but he was refusing to be having sex with her which was making her angry and upset. He still had hopes that he'd be escaping.

"Lay to bed" Jadis ordered as she pointed at it "don't make me cuff you"

Rick had been left only with his boxers again but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to hug his boy and get the hell out of there.

Stood his ground and looked at her with a murderous expression.

"Put your hands behind your back" Jadis decided as Rick was not complying and moved to tie him up.

Rick attacked her though and soon enough he was on top of her on the bed while putting pressure on her throat. Time to finish off what Negan had started.

Jadis tried hard to get Rick to let her but he seemed determined. Didn't want to do this like that but Rick was not messing around. Lifted her shirt as much as she could and Rick froze when he saw a small but noticeable bump on her stomach.

Released his grip on her slightly and kept his eyes on that bump. It was...

"This is your baby" Jadis whispered to him "if you kill me, you'll kill it as well"

Rick teared up at that. Knew that this baby was his since Jadis had not been with anyone else. Despised that woman with all his heart and now she had made it impossible for him to get rid of her once and for all.

"Do you realize that you've ruined any chance of happiness?" Rick questioned in despair.

"The happiness you're looking for is growing inside of me" Jadis replied defensively of their baby and stood up again. "Not with Negan. Only I can offer you everything and I will"

Chapter Text

"Do you seriously think that we'll become a family, raising our kid?" Rick questioned as he was devastated by this development instead of happy.

She'd forced him to marry her and now she'd be making him parent a kid that he didn't want to parent while his other two kids were suffering. Knew that it was very wrong to be having sex with her but now it was too late.

"Have no choice Rick" Jadis said despite feeling hurt that Rick hated both her and their baby. "Don't plan on letting you go so you'll accept that I am carrying your kid and be there for me"

Rick scoffed at that. He'd never be there for Jadis. Never.

"You're going to get through this on your own, Jadis" Rick snapped at her "won't be killing you but don't expect anything else from me. Lock me up, have Barca torture me, don't give a damn. When you look our kid in the eyes though in the future, let him or her know what you did to their father, hmm?"

Jadis teared up at that despite trying to appear cold-hearted since she got Rick back. Hurried to the bathroom and locked herself in.

Looked at her small bump and wanted to stop her pregnancy. If the father of her child wouldn't love them what was even the point?

She couldn't bring herself to do it though. Since she had confirmed that she'd be having a kid, was feeling differently. Had never thought that this would be happening to her and it did. Was a fighter. Didn't need Rick to be there for her. Had to try for her child and she would.

Maybe with time, Rick would see what a blessing this was and care for their baby at least if not for her. Wiped her tears and got back to their room again.

Rick was still standing there, taken by surprise by her reaction to tear up. Felt bad to not be able to accept this baby but Jadis had ruined his life.

They'd never be able to move on from all that and he didn't want to either. His family was Negan, Judith, and Carl. Would be reminded every single day that this kid wasn't the product of love but forced things.

Jadis laid on the bed for the night and turned her back on her "husband" who had hurt her feelings as well as disappointed her once more. The door was locked so he couldn't go anywhere either way. Killing her wouldn't be happening anymore so they were just stuck together.

Sighed to herself quietly and closed her eyes. Rick kept staring at her with a soreness inside of him. Recalled when he was making Jadis his and wanted to throw up. Negan would never forgive something like that and he wouldn't be blaming him.

Only their kids he wanted no matter how terrible that was.

Chapter Text

Jadis felt a strong wave of nausea and got out of bed fast. Needed to vomit. Rick had been sitting on the small couch of the room and frowned when he saw her bolting to the bathroom.

Another confirmation that this baby was a reality and not some trick to not kill her.

Soon enough Jadis came back out and breathed heavily. Looked at her husband and expected to ask at least how she was feeling.

Rick averted his eyes though when he met hers. Laid back down and rubbed her stomach gently. Stared at the ceiling and thought of how good it would feel if Rick just lay next to her right now.

"Are we gonna be spending all the time in silence?" she questioned out of a sudden.

"What should we talk about?" Rick asked as he stood up and approached the bed. "You're keeping my kid from me and expect me to give a damn about the unborn one which was a big mistake either way"

"Don't you dare call it a mistake again" Jadis said in anger "at least I'll be loving our baby"

"Hope so but doubt it" Rick replied, equally angry "you're incapable of love"

"Should put you in a cell especially after trying to kill me, don't be testing me" Jadis warned but didn't want to lock Rick in a cell again.

"Why can't you just accept that we are over?" Rick demanded to know "I've been through so much and you don't even care"

"Ok fine, it was wrong to force you. I get that" Jadis said in frustration "but I need you...have no one else"

"You have Barca. Don't even know what the hell you did to him and he's brainwashed" Rick answered as this was not the Barca he knew.

"I have no one" Jadis insisted and fresh tears appeared in her eyes "since Simon slaughtered my people, only for you I have feelings. Will be obedient to you, just give me a chance..."

Rick thought about it. If he made Jadis submit to him it would be easier to control her.

"You will be calling me "Sir" from now and on" Rick ordered "have two days to let me see my son or else I'm gonna punish you. Not joking Jadis. May have the upper hand when it comes to not letting me go but have power over you as well, are we clear?"

"Yes...Sir" Jadis mumbled hesitantly. "Do you want me to pleasure you?"

"No, you're to stay in bed until you feel well again. Then you'll apologize for putting me in a cell and being so disobedient" Rick said decisively.

Jadis looked conflicted about the whole apology thing but wanted Rick to dominate her.

"I will Sir if that's what you want" Jadis answered obediently.

"Good then" Rick announced and turned his back on Jadis to go shower. Wouldn't be asking her permission to do so after all.

Chapter Text

"Are you ready to talk now?" Rick asked after they had some breakfast and Jadis seemed to be feeling better.

Jadis thought about it and decided to do what Rick wanted. Needed her husband more than ever before but Rick was mad at her. Had to try if she wanted them to be on good terms.

"I am sorry sir..." Jadis admitted and felt her cheeks heating up.

"What are you sorry for?" Rick continued as he wanted her to realize what she'd done.

She sighed as this was harder than she'd expected.

"For capturing you...forcing you to get married to me and kidnapping Carl...Sir..." Jadis said as their eyes met.

"Very well, see when you're behaving?" Rick announced despite knowing that it wasn't a sincere apology.

"I want to make you satisfied with me Sir" Jadis answered in an attempt to get to connect with Rick again. Had missed their kisses and feeling him inside of her.

"If you want to make me satisfied, then you'll do what I'm telling you. With most important to let me see my son at last. Also, you are gonna be resting. Have a baby inside of you now and shouldn't overdo it with things" Rick said as despite not liking this pregnancy, he wasn't heartless to be watching her suffering.

Jadis smiled at that but Rick remained grumpy.

"You care about my safety?" she asked and Rick bit his bottom lip in frustration.

"Of course not" he answered stubbornly "it's Sir for you as we've discussed already. Don't you forget it or I'll..."

"Will what...?" Jadis insisted in hopes he'd get her to bed.

"Will punish you," Rick said and saw her looking pleased instead of afraid.

Knew that he was not gonna hurt her apparently and it was a big advantage against him.

"I think that you do have some feelings for me, Sir. It's not all hatred"

"You're mistaken then" Rick replied "Negan is the only person I have feelings for and yet you tore us apart once more"

"Can't you have feelings for more than one person Sir? Not saying you're gonna love me as much as this asshole but you could feel something for me as well..."

Rick didn't know what to say to that. Needed to get out of there and go back to his real husband. The one he loved more than his own life. Nothing could compare to that.

Chapter Text

"Listen to me now, the both of you" Michonne ordered Negan and Daryl as she had made them meet up to solve their differences.

"What do you want Michonne? Have other things to do..." Daryl asked defensively.

"Me too. Have to torture Axel. I love doing so" Negan replied and Michonne snorted at that answer. Had brought him to his and Rick's house instead of letting Axel locked up. So it was far from "torturing him".

"You made a promise to Rick. Will make sure that you keep it" Michonne said decisively.

"Well Rick is not here and he's to blame," Daryl said grumpily. "Took him away to the Sanctuary and left the kids on their own"

"Yeah, like I kidnapped him or whatever" Negan narrowed his eyes on Daryl "that woman had kept him from me for seven months. Excuse me if we wanted to spend some time together at last"

"Negan is right, Daryl. We could have done things differently but blaming each other is pointless. Can you keep your promise for once?" Michonne asked in exasperation.

"Dixon?" Negan asked expectantly as he was willing to try. Already felt bad that Rick had asked something of them and they were fighting instead.

Daryl was about to answer when they got interrupted by a helicopter that was making a lot of noise while flying towards Alexandria.

Negan's eyes widened when he saw it approaching.

"It's Rick," he said emotionally "managed to escape!"

Michonne and Daryl were shocked as well. Could this be Rick?

Negan hurried to the entrance of Alexandria, eager to hug his husband. Michonne looked at Daryl as the helicopter came closer and it definitely wasn't black with three white circles.

Got to the entrance as well and Negan felt his heart breaking when he noticed that it was a different helicopter. So it wasn't Rick as he'd thought. How many helicopters were out there though?

Two soldiers got out of the helicopter and they were wearing some futuristic-looking suits in white and orange colors. Were also holding guns.

"What the hell is this, Star Wars?" Negan asked as he couldn't understand what was going on.

A woman exited as well while holding a little boy by the hand.

They looked at each other as this was none other than Maggie. She faced them and locked eyes with him specifically.

𝙎𝙝𝙞𝙩, Negan thought to himself.

Chapter Text

Rick sighed as he laid next to Jadis for the night. Still refused to let him see Carl and he was struggling to not break down crying in front of her. Didn't know what he'd do if his boy was not alive and Jadis had been telling lies to avoid his outrage.

"Tomorrow morning I'll be seeing my son" Rick announced as he shifted his body to face Jadis.

Jadis looked hesitant but knew that he couldn't keep Rick away for much longer. Wouldn't allow him to make the decisions though when it came to Carl getting tested for the cure. This was much bigger than all of them.

"Fine, you can see him but gonna tie you up" Jadis answered and Rick narrowed his eyes on her.

"I am not your puppy Jadis to be keeping me on a leash. As your husband I request respect and as your Master, I demand it," he said strictly.

Jadis rolled her eyes at that. "So, now you're my husband out of a sudden?"

Rick moved on top of her, being careful of the bump despite being small, and pinned her wrists against the comfortable mattress before stopping him. Jadis looked surprised at that and seemed a bit worried as Rick was not letting go of her.

Tried to wiggle out of his grasp but Rick met her eyes and felt all the resistance leaving her body.

"You're mine," Rick said to her in a low tone.

"Agh...yes, Sir..." Jadis answered with want.

"Can't be mine if you're not obedient" Rick continued "and yes, despite not liking it, I'm your husband as well. In a weird and forced way. Behave"

"Won't be tying you up..." Jadis decided "but want to make me yours. Please Sir"

Rick didn't want to do this but knew that he had to give something to her as well.

"Will give you an orgasm alright?" Rick asked as it was the least painful one.

Jadis seemed to understand his reluctance to have sex and it was breaking her heart.

She teared up and Rick frowned at her reaction. Released his grip on her wrists and wiped the tears with the bedsheet.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Rick asked in a more gentle tone.

"I just need you. My husband and baby's father" Jadis said emotionally and was on the verge of tearing up again.

Rick felt horrible as he tried to ignore his wants. His need to see if his kid was alive and to hug him instead of being tied up was much bigger right now.

"Open your legs for me" Rick ordered and Jadis complied as she lifted her head a bit to give him a gentle kiss.

"Thank you, Sir," Jadis said lowly and got rid of the underwear to accommodate Rick between her legs.

Rick couldn't help but touch her small bump and felt himself getting emotional despite wishing he wasn't feeling that way.

Never thought he'd be having another kid and couldn't deny that he cared about the baby that Jadis had inside of her.

Jadis touched her bump as well as they both looked at it.

"D-do you think I'm incapable of love?" Jadis asked with a trembling voice. Had a sadness in her eyes when she asked.

"Ask me tomorrow Jadis, after I see my son. If you loved me even one bit, you wouldn't lie about Carl because he means the world to me. Would destroy me if he is dead. So it's not the time to be asking that question" Rick replied with a soreness.

Jadis nodded hesitantly and surrendered to Rick as he started making her wet, being more focused on the task and not her but it still felt so good to have him back.

Could make it painful for her but he didn't. Instead took the time to prep her body, making sure both she and their baby would be fine. At least that's how she was feeling at the moment.

Chapter Text

"Agh my head" Barca growled in pain. He'd be having severe migraines all day long, almost like his head was going to explode. Touched it to soothe the pain and noticed the kid staring at him with his one eye.

Was yet to punish their prisoner for his behavior but then again Jadis had ordered him to not enter his cell. Could still enjoy seeing Rick's son locked up though and at their mercy.

"What are you looking at, hm?" Barca asked as he narrowed his eyes on the little bastard.

"I take pleasure in watching you suffering" Carl answered defiantly. Barca had been a constant to his cell and was making his life much harder than it already was. Only at nights, he was left on his own to be crying without any judgment.

"Same for me kid, same for me. Gonna cry? Please do because it's my favorite seeing your one eyeball all teared up"

"When I get the hell out of here then the scarred face will be the least of your problems" Carl warned in anger.

Barca scoffed and walked closer to the kid's cell.

"You are never getting away. Gonna be a test subject for the rest of your life. At least when you turn 18, no one will be feeling bad for keeping you in a cell. I don't from now" Barca said with venom and Carl paled at the thought of being locked up for the rest of his life.

"Fuck off" Carl mumbled with despair but Barca ignored him.

"I'm not done with you yet" Barca announced "your father didn't even ask to see you one week he's been here. Wanna know why?"

Carl sobbed at that. Knew that his dad was suffering and it was all thanks to his stupidity. Bet that he was mad at him as well as that Jadis would be keeping him locked up.

"Jadis is pregnant, with his child" Barca continued and Carl felt himself shaking. Both in rage and disgust. How could she do that to his father?

"Hope she loses it then. As well as I've lost my father because of her" Carl said and thought of how Negan would feel if he knew that. Bet he'd be angry with Jadis and not his father. She had caused this by forcing him.

"Our doctors will make sure that everything goes well. She's not gonna lose it, so dream on" Barca shrugged.

"That's what I'll do and hope for the worst to both of you" Carl answered in defiance much to Barca's amusement despite his head aching a lot.

"In two days you have your next testing," Barca said as parting words "don't you dare fight it again or you don't want to come face to face with me. Let the good doctors do what they have to"

"...and what is that exactly? Torturing me?" Carl asked as his cheeks felt hot from his rage.

"No, figuring out what is wrong with you and haven't turned into a monster" Barca explained as he turned his back on Carl to leave.

Chapter Text

Rick turned his back on Jadis who had fallen asleep after he'd finally satisfied her. Her being pregnant was a very hard pill to swallow, now he was forced to keep betraying his husband by giving in to her sexually.

She was no fool though, he knew it. Might allow him some "freedoms" now that he was her dominant but wouldn't be able to escape.

Touched his scar tissue and remembered Negan kissing it, making love to him. Was always so gentle and yet he kept letting him down. Why should he accept that Jadis would be having a baby? 𝙃𝙞𝙨 baby.

Should kick his ass out of their house and rightfully so. Cried in silence and thought of how shameful it would be to look Negan in the eyes after all he'd done.

Stood up and walked to the bathroom while closing the door behind him. Was the only place he could cry as much as he wanted.

Laid on the tub and felt the cold surface against his skin. Had thought that there was a happy ending for him after all this suffering but no. There was only more suffering and pain.

If Carl was not alive and she'd been telling lies, didn't even know what he'd do. Would be losing his mind if his boy had died. Only for him, he had been holding on. Enduring all of her crap.

Had failed as a father. If Carl couldn't trust his dad on something so serious. He'd wanted a romantic getaway with Negan while his boy was suffering on his own. What kind of person would do that? Sobbed harder and curled on himself.

Fell asleep in the tub while flinching as nightmares began to fill up his mind. He was at the Sanctuary's cell with his hands tied up tightly. Was wearing only his blue boxers once again like the day he'd been handed over to Negan.

Saw the door of the cell getting unlocked and David entered. He felt fear growing inside of him as David smirked down at him.

"No, you're dead," Rick said as his eyes widened.

"Long time no see, Rick" David answered as he got on his knees. "In your dreams, I'm still alive and well"

"Would never dream of you" Rick mumbled as he was scared of what he'd do.

"I am one of your most traumatic memories. Will keep returning to me. Was so close to making you 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚" David said thoughtfully.

"Wanted to rape me!" Rick spat out "would have but Negan stopped you"

"You're a prisoner of your mind, Rick" David shrugged "there your worst nightmares have the upper hand"

David leaned in and gave him a demanding kiss. Rick struggled to get away but he was tied up.

"Hmm, delicious" David let out "you know, when I came out as gay to my dad, he beat the shit out of me. I was only 15 years old. Kicked me out of the house. Several years later, when the Apocalypse began, I went back and killed the bastard. Gave him a hard kick as he was dying in front of my eyes. Never laid a hand on me again"

Rick's eyes widened. How on earth did he know all that about David? No, he had made up a backstory to justify David's sick actions towards him. None of this was real.

"You became a worse monster than your father then" Rick answered with pain in his voice as he looked at David. "Leave me alone now. Stop torturing me"

David shook his head but left the cell without saying another word. Locked the door behind him and Rick was left all alone in the darkness.

As he was in reality as well.

Chapter Text

Negan sighed as he checked on Judith who was still wide awake despite the late of the hour. Couldn't find it in him to get her to the crib. Felt so lonely without Rick and Carl there. Only Judith he had and well, Axel although they weren't buddies yet. Picked her up for a hug and she looked at him.

"Egan" Judith let out and Negan was melting every time she was saying his name.

"I'm here Judy, we are just you and me now. Your Dad is with a despicable woman, trying to save your brother. What am I doing about it hm? Nothing..." Negan said with bitterness.

"Egan" Judith repeated and hugged him.

"What am I doing" Negan sobbed again "Why am I not with him?"

Was feeling useless. Rick needed him and there was no way to get to him. Had been so sure that his husband was at that helicopter.

Recalled the day and it had been a mess. Maggie showed up with these storm troopers after being gone for almost two years. She'd been staying with a group called the Commonwealth and they had a helicopter as well.

Alexandrians had been excited to see her while he dreaded it. Had not said a word to him but asked Michonne what was he doing with Judith. When both she and Daryl had explained what had happened during her absence, he noticed that her expression hardened instead of being happy for Rick. Believed that if she could take Judith from him, that she would.

Michonne and Daryl had invited her for dinner while he managed to escape. Not that anyone had invited him as well. Why would they? He had killed her husband Glenn and they would never be able to forget it.

No matter how much time had passed. Plus there was the kid. He'd not seen it when Maggie was still around but he was called Hershel like Maggie's father who had taught Rick how to garden. The resemblance to Glenn was big. The only thing he could hope for was, that they'd both leave again soon and go with the Stormtroopers.

Focused on Judith again who didn't seem very interested in sleeping. At least she was calm with him so that was something. Rick always knew how to deal with her crying or being upset and it was so caring. Was an amazing Dad. Wished he could be half as good.

"You should sleep Judy" Negan tried to explain but Judith shook her small head.

"Play" Judith answered and Negan sat up from bed.

"What should we play so late hm? Axel is sleeping and you should too" Negan said to her.

"Play..." Judith repeated on the verge of tearing up.

Negan sighed and picked her up. Got downstairs and shook Axel to wake him up.

"Hmm, what is it Negan?" Axel asked in a grumpy tone but woke up again.

"Judith wants to play and you're gonna help me" Negan announced and smirked at Axel's annoyance that he had woken him up for that.

"Why would I help you?" Axel asked as Judith repeated she wanted to play.

"Because you don't want to upset a kid," Negan said innocently "and you care about us"

"I don't actually. Hope that you choke and die..." Axel mumbled but it was a lie. "Fine we can play, I guess. If you wake me up again though..."

"Thank you, Axel" Negan smiled at him as he let Judith on the floor to go hide and they'd both be pretending that they couldn't find her because she'd been hidden so well. Hopefully, she'd be sleepy soon enough.

Chapter Text

Rick blinked his eyes and saw that he had slept in the tub last night. Was feeling very sore from doing so but was past the point of caring. Just then Jadis entered and frowned when taking notice of where he'd been sleeping instead of next to her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with irritation.

"Oh leave me the hell alone Jadis" Rick answered in annoyance as he stood up "not in the mood"

"You're never in the mood," Jadis said coldly "you're to stay to our bed, understood?"

"I'm your Master and can do whatever I want" Rick narrowed his eyes on her.

"Just because I enjoy being your submissive that doesn't mean I'll let you overwrite me completely. I'm still the leader and you're my prisoner. Now kiss me and apologize before I take you to see Carl" Jadis added demandingly.

Rick growled and felt his cheeks heating up from his anger. Jadis cornered him against the wall and tried to calm him down.

"You're so gorgeous" she whispered to him "forget that asshole and give in to me. Only wanted to be fucking you. We will be more than that though..."

Rick felt himself shaking as despair was filling him up. Wanted to go to his husband. Nothing else.

Jadis connected their lips and moaned at the feeling. Undressed him slowly and Rick did nothing to stop her. Was powerless to do anything like in his dream with David.

"Come on, let's wash you up and gonna let you see Carl," Jadis said in a more soft tone.

Nodded reluctantly as if he denied, there was no way he'd be seeing his kid and it had been a very long week already.

Jadis turned the water to warm and began washing him gently.

"That's what the bathroom is for" Jadis commented "to be having you naked for me. Not sleeping"

"Just do whatever you want to me and get it over with" Rick mumbled as he lowered his gaze.

"Face the wall and stick your bottom out" Jadis ordered "you'll get punished"

Rick turned around slowly and bit his bottom lip to not tear up.

Jadis began to spank him although without putting much force into the hits. Wanted it to sting but not be too painful.

"Didn't Negan spank you?" Jadis asked as Rick was staying surprisingly still.

"He did..." Rick said in a low tone.

"Have an amazing ass truth be told. Can't resist some spanking..." Jadis said as she caressed it.

Chapter Text

Barca frowned when he saw Jadis holding Rick by the arm as they entered the room where Carl was being kept. He had been arguing with the little brat again but it got interrupted by this unexpected visit. Carl faced his father behind the glass of the cell and teared up when their eyes met.

Rick focused only on his son and felt hot tears filling up his eyes as well. Carl looked significantly thinner when he was already thin enough and had sadness written all over his face. Seeing him in that cell made him want to start screaming.

Removed his arm from Jadis' grasp and touched the glass with despair.

"I'm here Carl. I'm here" he sobbed out "I'm here my boy"

Carl had a full breakdown as he couldn't control himself. Touched the glass as well and sobbed hard.

"I failed you dad..." Carl choked with pain.

"No, no" Rick shook his head "you never could fail me. Never. Dad is here now"

Felt rage for both Jadis and Barca for keeping his son in that cell for so long.

"Open the cell," he said to them aggressively.

"Don't think so Rick" Barca started but Jadis could see that Rick was pretty pissed off.

"Do it" she ordered Barca who frowned but complied.

"If you dare to try anything" he warned Carl who was still in tears.

Rick pushed Barca to the side and hugged his son tighter than ever before.

"Will get you out of here" Rick whispered to Carl's ear and didn't want to let go of his kid. Kissed his forehead and everything he'd been through since he arrived there were worth it for that moment and only.

Carl's body shook and Rick tried to soothe him. Could see that his son was terrified. Had never seen him in that state before.

"Where did you get bitten?" Rick asked as he had to know.

Carl showed him the mark which was still aching him but sometimes only.

Rick's eyes widened and traced it gently with his finger. So this did happen. How was it possible to still be alive though?

Looked at Jadis and expected answers.

"We think that Carl is immune to the virus," Jadis said as it was pointless to be keeping it a secret anymore "so he's gonna get tested until the doctors find a way to make a vaccine or something for the rest of us"

"That's why I am being strapped to a chair?" Carl asked with bitterness "want to turn me into a lab rat!"

"Strapped?!" Rick demanded to know "either he's immune or not, you're not touching my son again"

"Here we go," Barca said sarcastically.

"You SHUT UP!" Rick growled as he was outraged.

"What did you say to me Grimes hm?" Barca asked as he moved closer to him.

"To shut the hell up" Rick repeated and before they knew it he got Barca to the floor. Wanted to beat the crap out of him and he would.

Chapter Text

Some people realized after 200 chapters that they don't like the story or many of the others that I've written and decided to unsubscribe. I've put a lot of effort into writing this particular story especially since English is not my mother language, far from it in fact. Yet I've written 106.000 words. Think I was very clear of what the story was about since chapter one and these are 𝙣𝙤𝙩 my personal opinions of course but a fictional story as the show has dealt with this topic as well. 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙚 has many chapters left but I've been feeling a bit upset. Do plan on finishing it though and would like to thank whoever is still here. Would have given up a lot sooner without your support.

Chapter Text

Axel yawned as he woke up from the couch and sat up. Needed to find somewhere else to stay but despite it all, it was nice staying with the baby and Rick's husband. Carl's room was empty but didn't feel right to be sleeping there. Saw Negan coming his way with a mug of coffee.

"This is for you" Negan announced and handed the mug to him "because you woke up last night and helped me play with Judith until she was too tired to stay awake"

"Well, who knows what you'd do to me if I didn't..." Axel drawled and Negan pouted.

"Nothing. You know that already. I've grown too soft these days" Negan said with a small sigh and dropped himself to a chair.

"Bet that Rick fell in love with that side of you and not the other" Axel commented as he took a sip.

"Yeah and now he has no one to be there for him," Negan said with pain in his voice. Who knows what Rick was going through at that place.

"Gotta have faith in him. He's gonna make it. Always does" Axel tried to comfort him.

"Can't believe that I'm here with the guy that used to torture my husband" Negan replied in frustration. "No offense or anything but you did"

Axel nodded as he had tortured Rick himself. Not to mention being the one to force him into a helicopter that rainy night.

"Have never seen anyone fight so hard while losing so much blood. Knew he could die but was so fearless" Axel admitted with pride of Rick.

"That's who he is," Negan said emotionally "gosh I miss him so much. Want to end her once and for all. How many times will she rape him if I don't? It's killing me from the inside out to imagine all the horrible things she's doing to my Rick and the kid. Especially if he's not..."

Negan couldn't keep his tears anymore at the thought of Carl not being alive.

"They will both come back," Axel said with a pang of pain at seeing him like that "have to believe it Negan, they will"

Took in a trembling breath and tried to think a bit positively. It was very hard though when Rick was miles away from their home.

There was a knock on the door and Negan wiped his tears fast. He exchanged one glare with Axel and went to open up, trying to act normally after his breakdown.

Frowned when he came face to face with Maggie. What the hell did she want from him?

Walked outside so Axel and Judith didn't have to hear them arguing.

"Thought that you'd have left by now" Negan pointed out.

"Don't plan on leaving" Maggie said defiantly "heard that Rick was your prisoner before getting married"

"Did Daryl say that Jadis had caught Rick or he happened to forget it, hm?" Negan asked in annoyance at Maggie's interference.

"He said the whole story, yes. So I find it hard to believe that Rick chose to marry you willingly after having him locked up" Maggie replied as her eyes narrowed.

"Before getting married though, Rick had to suffer a psycho who put him in his room to rape him and then another psycho who kidnapped us both and left us on a mountain to die. Took weeks to get back" Negan answered in anger.

"Still, you don't deserve someone like Rick. Never did. Destroy everything you touch" Maggie spat out.

"Go back where you came from Maggie with these stupid stormtroopers and their damn helicopter"

"They are gonna be the ones to come actually" Maggie shrugged "you better behave because the community I'd been with is very strong. Way stronger than your Saviors and I've warned them about my husband's murderer"

"Good. I'll be waiting for them then" Negan said as his mouth turned to a straight line.

Whoever these people were that would be coming as well, didn't think they'd be coming for a good reason.

Chapter Text

"Let's see how tough you are now," Rick said to Barca as he gave him another satisfying punch to the face. "You are gonna wish you had died back then when I shot your face"

"Rick!" Jadis demanded in anger "let him go!"

"Won't be using my son. Do you hear that? Will rip your throats off if you put him through tests again. Don't push my patience"

Barca growled and fought back as he pulled his gun out. Stood up again and pointed it to Carl who was very afraid for his father after attacking Barca.

"Take him out of here," Barca said to Jadis as his face was aching. "Shouldn't have brought him in the first place"

Jadis grabbed Rick by the arm to get him to their room. Had seen that Carl was alive and that was enough for now.

"Get moving" she ordered her husband "enough trouble you caused"

Dragged Rick into the room forcefully and locked it again.

"What the hell are you doing to my son?" Rick demanded "keeping him locked up in a cage and putting him through these tests to find your supposed "cure"?!"

"Since finding out he's immune, that's the only logical thing to do!" Jadis answered as she faced Rick "if you don't behave I won't allow you to see him again"

Rick dropped himself to the bed as this was an absolute nightmare.

"You are both monsters," Rick said bitterly as tears gathered in his blue eyes.

"No, we are not. Barca is angry that you shot him to the head and I'm the one responsible for keeping you in line"

"Keeping me in line, right. You are out of your mind if you think that we could ever be a loving family. Will keep fighting you until I close my eyes. Grow the baby on your own and leave me the hell alone" Rick growled at her.

"Grow the baby on my own? You left me pregnant! Do you remember when we consummated our wedding? I did want it but you were rough with me. Wanted to dominate me and take control. Why are you mad that we want the same things?"

"Because you keep doing it. Keep taking me against my will. And no didn't rape you on the first night. Just wanted to release my anger towards you and have regretted it dearly" Rick snapped.

Jadis sighed and approached him slowly.

"Carl is alive and our kid is on the way. Don't have to like it but that's how it is. Won't be leaving me, never again"

With that, she turned her back on Rick and locked the door.

Chapter Text

"Get back in your cell" Barca ordered Carl as his whole body was hurting.

Carl didn't move and their eyes met. "What did they do to you? Don't you want to know? Being alive came at a cost, get it at last"

Barca frowned at that and looked downward. Had been having severe migraines lately as well as aggression.

"All I want is to see you and your father suffering," Barca said with pain in his voice. He didn't feel any satisfaction with what had happened and that Rick had to be taken away forcefully.

"Shoot me then," Carl said plainly as it would only be getting worse from now on. He'd be used for experiments to find their supposed cure and his father would have a kid he didn't want next to a woman that was raping him.

"What?" Barca asked as he froze while still holding the gun.

"Do it" Carl repeated "shoot me. Make my father suffer the worst pain a parent could ever endure"

"No, Jadis will kill me" Barca tried to find an excuse.

"Alright. I'll do it on my own then" Carl answered and moved closer to get the gun.

Barca took a step back in fear.

"Kid you've lost your mind. Get back in the cell as I said" Barca said to him.

"This ends today. Right now" Carl insisted and saw Barca losing all his color as his hands trembled. "Make my father suffer as you want to since you captured me. Put me out of my misery"

Barca pointed the gun at him as he took a shaky breath.

"Get in your cell" Barca almost sobbed.

Carl simply shook his head and removed his eye bandage for the first time while being in Barca's presence.

Saw his eyes widening and his hands shook harder.

"She stole your humanity. Everything good inside of you. There is still light in the world though. Always will be. No matter how dark it gets" Carl explained to him.

"My head is killing me" Barca admitted as tears rolled down his cheeks and lowered the gun.

Carl sobbed as well and moved closer to him.

"Please Barca. Let me help you. We are not your enemies..." Carl said as their eyes met.

"How?" Barca asked "now it's too late"

"Will find a way,won't be leaving without you. I promise. Whatever happened can be fixed. There are people back home that think I'm dead because I didn't let anyone know that I had gotten bitten. If I had just asked for help..." Carl admitted with guilt. "Don't do the same mistake"

"I've failed your father" Barca mumbled "should put a bullet to my head once and all"

"He won't" Carl touched his arm hesitantly "will find out what is causing the pain you're feeling and get rid of the control she has on you"

Barca nodded hesitantly and Carl offered him a small smile.

"Should get back in the cell then" he said.

"What is your favorite food?" Barca asked "since you're throwing whatever I bring you to the glass"

"I like spaghetti with red sauce," Carl said in surprise.

"This will be your lunch today then" Barca promised him as he locked the door of the cell.

Their eyes met again and felt like they'd finally come to an understanding.

Chapter Text

Rick lay to bed in silence and realized that he was done. Done of trying to get away. Done of resisting Jadis. Only his son should be saved and would do anything for it. His poor boy didn't deserve this treatment.

His actions had brought him there but Carl's only mistake was that he didn't speak to them out of fear. Shouldn't pay for it for the rest of his life especially since a miracle had happened and he'd survived. He closed his eyes and all he wanted was to drift off to quiet sleep.

What felt like seconds later, he blinked his eyes open to the bright sun. It was a beautiful sunny day and he was at Alexandria. Saw Negan in the distance sitting by himself and enjoying the warm day.

Walked closer to him and sat next to his husband.

"You want to give up," Negan said after sitting in silence for a bit and it wasn't a question but a statement.

"I'm not giving up on us" Rick tried to explain himself "I miss you so much that it hurts, have to believe me"

"Have been strong for so long Rick" Negan answered as their eyes met "could never blame you"

"Will let her use me as much as she wants" Rick sobbed "can't fight back. Not anymore"

Negan touched his face gently and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"You're my baby and I love you" Negan promised emotionally "don't you ever forget that"

"I won't" Rick chocked out and kissed his husband passionately.

Got on top as he laid Negan slowly on the warm ground. Looked into his hazel eyes and they were his safe place.

"In your dreams, I'll be right here" Negan whispered as he let Rick take charge of him.

Rick sobbed in pain as he kissed Negan's neck tenderly.

"Then gonna dream of you every day" Rick mumbled as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

Negan surrendered to him and there was no one around either way. Just he and Rick.

"Only mine," Rick said decisively and Negan nodded in agreement.

"I'm yours, Rick. There's no one else" Negan said as he breathed faster from Rick's kisses.

"You keep our daughter safe, you hear me?" Rick asked and already knew that Negan would always be keeping her safe. No matter what.

Negan nodded and he was very serious when it came to Judith. Wouldn't let their baby girl get harmed even if he had to die for her.

"New threats are coming" Negan whispered to Rick who felt a tightness inside his chest.

"I'm sorry that I won't be there to deal with them together. I am" Rick replied bitterly.

"I think that you'll find the strength to fight back even if you say that you're giving up. My Rick never accepted to be getting abused. So fight Rick. Fight baby"

Rick saw a black helicopter flying above their heads and making a lot of noise. His eyes widened and woke up in a panic.

He was still alone in the room. Sighed to himself and closed his eyes again.

Was losing his mind and didn't know where his downfall would end.

Chapter Text

One week later.

"Ah so this is Alexandria," Hornsby said with a big smile on his face. "Splendid place"

Negan was standing right outside of their house while holding Judith in his arms. Axel was standing beside him and his eyes widened when he took notice of how many of these stormtroopers there were. Negan tightened his hug on Judith as this Hornsby guy took notice of him.

Saw him walking closer and found himself frozen in place. Missed his husband so damn much and now the group that Maggie had warned him about was in their peaceful town filling it with troops holding guns.

Hornsby stopped in front of him and his eyes focused on Negan like he would x-ray him with them.

"You have to be Negan" Hornsby observed pleasantly.

"I am," Negan said plainly and Hornsby didn't lose his good mood.

"Yes, you're Maggie's husband's killer. I know all about you" Hornsby added causing a reaction from Axel.

"What do you want from him now?" Axel tried to defend Negan "all that is in the past"

"Your husband?" Hornsby asked Negan with a smirk before turning his attention to Axel.

"We are just chatting. Like civilized people. No need to take it personally whoever you are"

"I'm Axel" he snapped at Hornsby "and no, I'm not Negan's husband"

"Where is the baby's father then because don't think that she's yours" Hornsby insisted to know and Negan didn't want to tell him the truth. Didn't trust that person.

"None of your business where he is" Negan answered defiantly and tried hard to not break into tears.

"Maggie has expressed her concerns on the baby's safety with you though" Hornsby added "and I agree to be honest. Don't think that someone with your violent past can take care of such a sweet baby"

Negan felt pain filling him up at these words and was on the verge of crying.

"I can..." he choked out as his eyes got watery.

"We will see I guess" Hornsby shrugged "we are planning on staying here for a while and maybe take Alexandrians to see our humble community. I'll be keeping a close eye on you to determine if you are trusted to be taking care of that baby girl over here, Judith isn't her name?"

With that Hornsby turned his back on them and smiled at Maggie who waiting for him alongside Daryl.

Negan walked back to the house fast and held his kid protectively as he cried his eyes out.

Axel followed in a hurry and froze when he saw Negan's emotional state.

"No one's gonna take Judith" he tried to comfort him "will have to kill us both before doing so, I promise"

Negan shook his head though as he was inconsolable.

"Didn't you see how many guys he brought along? I'm very afraid Axel. Maggie is gonna persuade everyone that I'm dangerous to Judy. Promised to Rick...promised to look after our kid" Negan sobbed with pain in his voice.

"We will pack three backpacks" Axel decided "if they make any move against us we will be leaving"

"To go where?" Negan asked with a rough voice.

"Anywhere. You said it yourself, promised to Rick and gonna keep that promise" Axel said decisively.

Chapter Text

"You have half an hour" Jadis announced as she pushed Rick to the room where Carl's cell was. Rick had a whole week to see his boy and thought to give them some time with Barca's watch of course. She had an appointment for the pregnancy but Rick was not willing to come with her.

"When the time is finished, lock him back to our bedroom," Jadis said to Barca who nodded in agreement as his eyes narrowed on Rick.

"Of course, ma'am" Barca answered obediently and with a last glare, Jadis left them alone.

Rick counted to ten internally before he slammed Barca to the wall with rage.

"Dad!" Carl let out a yelp as Rick's fingers wrapped around Barca's throat.

"This will be your end, for real this time!" Rick spat out "the Rick you knew is gone. Took my son and put us both through hell. It's only fair to send you there myself!"

"I'm...s-sorr...y" Barca let out roughly and did nothing to stop Rick.

"Dad please let him go" Carl pleaded from the cell. "He changed from the last time. They've put a chip in his brain, that's how he's still alive"

Rick's eyes widened but didn't let him go.

"She kept my body and revived it by putting that chip inside of my brain. Was able to get access to my medical files" Barca said with soreness "I'd been suffering from horrible migraines and still do. Their doctor gave me some shots without telling me of course about the chip. Said they'd help and they do. Have lessened the pain but not entirely. You shot me to the head, Rick. If I stop taking these shots, I'll probably die from how bad my head hurts..."

"Stop taking them then," Rick said as he gave him a hard shove to the wall "die. Don't give a damn"

"He can help us get out of here" Carl intervened as he could see the pain on Barca's face at his father's words. One week now he'd been trying to make his life better despite being locked in a cell. Barca wasn't gone gone. There was still good in him. Despite his father not being able to see it now.

"Unlock my son's cell if you're sorry" Rick snapped at Barca as he wanted to hug his kid at last without Jadis watching their every move.

Barca complied wordlessly and unlocked Carl's cell. Rick gave him a small push to the side and hugged Carl tightly.

Sobbed hard and tried to comfort his poor boy who had to suffer because of him. Carl cried as well from his one eye and hugged his father back.

"You will get away," Rick said to him decisively "I promise you. Back to Negan and Judith"

"We will both get away dad" Carl mumbled with a watery eye.

"Don't trust no one" Rick whispered to him "no one"

"Give him a chance," Carl said almost inaudibly and Rick shook his head in denial as he shot Barca a glare who had shut up at last. Was looking at the floor instead of them.

"Will remove the chip myself if needed to see him die for what he did to you. Don't care about anything else. Won't let them turn you into their lab rat" Rick answered as they'd ruined their life.

Wouldn't let them keep torturing his son though. That was the only thing he knew.

Chapter Text

Barca returned Rick to the bedroom as ordered and there was tension between them. Jadis was still at her appointment about the pregnancy and all Rick wanted was to turn into the old Negan somehow. Bash his head with anything since he didn't have a bat in hand. That person, his supposed friend, had thrown them to hell.

"He fought hard that night," Barca said to Rick who felt his rage growing at that. "Didn't know that he was bitten nor that he was some miracle kid either. Wanted to make you suffer..."

"You're gonna suffer way worse than me. Should have let you rot in a cell instead of trying to get away together. There's one at Alexandria. Gonna put you in and throw the key away. If you're not dead already from the chip in your brain of course" Rick said with malice.

"Your son is gonna become very valuable if it gets known that he's the cure. Worry about that and leave me the hell alone" Barca answered on the verge of tearing up.

"Gonna keep that mouth shut and no one will know" Rick growled, "if his life gets put in danger again, I swear to Go-"

"Barca what are you still doing here?" Jadis asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"Rick was saying that he is hungry ma'am" Barca answered instead of saying the truth.

"Well it's not dinner time yet," Jadis said pointedly "won't be making special lunches for Rick. He can wait as we all do"

Barca left them alone with the last glare and Jadis locked the door again.

"The baby is doing well," Jadis said to Rick "not that you care of course..."

"No" Rick replied in defiance "I don't. So stop bothering me about your pregnancy"

"Get naked now," Jadis said strictly and Rick had no other choice but to obey her as his eyes narrowed.

Tossed his clothes in anger and stood naked in front of Jadis.

"I should be the angry one" Jadis added in annoyance but was past the point of caring. Having sex with Rick felt good and wasn't gonna give it up for Rick's tantrums.

"Top or bottom?" she asked and Rick scoffed.

"Whatever" he shrugged "either way I don't want it"

"If Negan was here though, hm?" Jadis asked "bet that he is getting it on as well. Can't believe that he'd stay for so long without it. The previous time was the waiting faithfully like a good husband?"

Rick thought of Michonne but this was nothing compared to how much he'd cheated on Negan. Forcefully but didn't make it any better.

"He was, yes" he answered instead "gonna have me again because I'm his. No matter how much you try"

"Will see" Jadis answered plainly and laid Rick to bed for their daily intercourse.

Chapter Text

Negan lay to bed and thought of Rick and Carl. Was killing him to not know what was happening to them. Had not done it until now but wanted to call Jadis. Demand to talk with his husband.

Sighed to himself as this was very risky but since there was no way to go there he'd have to try. Picked up his walkie-talkie and radioed Jadis. There was static sound for some moments when he heard her voice.

"Yes?" she asked and Negan felt rage hearing that voice again.

"Negan. Remember me?" Negan asked and tried hard to not yell at her.

Jadis stayed silent for a minute but decided to answer.

"Barely. Wished you'd died somehow by now but I see you're still alive..."

"I'm very much alive and thinking about your demise every single day. Now give me 𝙢𝙮 husband to talk to" Negan demanded.

"Why would I ever do that?" Jadis scoffed.

"Let's say that I've found a helicopter as well and can come there at any time" Negan lied but didn't care. The Commonwealth had helicopters and if he got completely desperate he'd steal it.

"You're a liar" Jadis growled as Rick's mind would be filled with thoughts of escaping if she let them talk.

"You don't want to find out if I'm a liar Jadis so hand it to Rick. Now" Negan answered decisively.

Jadis scoffed but didn't want Negan to come there. They'd calm down if they talked for some minutes.

"You have five minutes. Nothing more. Oh and before you talk, have to know that I'm pregnant. To Rick's kid" Jadis said in amusement.

Negan felt rage at that as his cheeks heat up. Jadis is pregnant with Rick's kid. This was something out of a nightmare and knew damn well that Rick would never willingly lay with her.

"Why are you saying that to me hm?" Negan questioned despite his anger "think that I will kidnap his kid as you did or I'm gonna hand him over to you just like that? Rick belongs with me no matter what you do. Your pregnancy won't stop me from ending you. Have no such morals for a rapist"

"I can kill him and send his pieces back one by one. You won't do anything to me or my child. The same way he won't" Jadis warned and unlocked the door of their room. Rick's eyes widened when he saw the walkie talkie and all he wanted was to grab it from her.

"Have five minutes" Jadis snapped at Rick and left the room in a hurry. Would be back in exactly five minutes to stop their talk.

Rick felt tears gathering up in his eyes as he took hold of the walkie-talkie. It's been almost a month that he'd not talked with his husband.

"Negan?" he asked roughly.

"Ricky" Negan mumbled emotionally "it's me baby"

Rick felt tears rolling down his cheeks and wanted to hug him so tightly.

"How did she let you talk to me?" Rick asked as he couldn't understand.

"Let me know about her pregnancy," Negan said bitterly and Rick froze. Didn't want him to find out like that.

"You have to hate me" Rick sobbed with pain. "Don't want this kid. Have to trust me"

"I do Rick. Of course, I do. Will take you away from her baby. Please hold on for some more" Negan pleaded with him.

"Carl is alive," Rick said in a hurry as their time was limited "his immune system can fight off the virus. That's why he didn't give in to the fever. She keeps us locked up separately. Negan if this gets known Carl will be in great danger"

Negan paled at that. Someone who could fight off the disease and that was their kid? It was very dangerous.

"No one will know. I promise" Negan answered seriously "all that matters is that he is alive and gonna take him home"

"I'm dying every day in here" Rick whispered and Negan felt his heart breaking.

"Is she raping you?" Negan asked with a soreness.

"Yes," Rick answered and dropped his head in shame. Negan took in a shaky breath and wanted to start hitting his head on the wall from how much he wanted to end her.

Had to wait a little more. They both had.

Chapter Text

"Hold on Ricky...hold on" Negan sobbed in despair "won't leave you there baby. Nor you or Carl. There's not a day that I don't blame myself for not ending her"

"I don't want her Negan" Rick cried as well "nor that baby. Feel shame for what I've done"

"No no" Negan protested "you did nothing wrong. Judith is well and we are both missing you terribly. Will take you out of there, you hear me? Your sufferings will end"

"Love you so damn much" Rick cried uncontrollably and just then Jadis walked in. Grabbed the walkie-talkie from him and turned it off.

"Rick?! Rick?!" Negan yelled as tears rolled down his cheeks. Sat on the bed and sobbed hard as his body rocked.

Would steal a helicopter. That was it. Since they couldn't find fuels for the other this was the only way. Stood up in a hurry and walked fast downstairs. Saw Axel playing with Judith who frowned when he saw the mess Negan was.

"What happened?" Axel demanded as he picked up Judith.

"I'm gonna take their helicopter. Go save Rick. I've had enough of her torturing Rick" Negan said with a deep soreness inside of him.

"You don't know how to pilot Negan and do you believe that they'll just hand it over to save Rick?" Axel asked. "Please Negan. Think clearly. You have a baby"

"Think I don't know it? I'm desperate. Rick needs me. Managed to talk to him for some minutes and guess what, Carl is alive. Our boy made it. Can't leave them there" Negan answered as he could feel his heart speeding up.

"Negan," Axel said "know that you feel the need to save Rick but things are not that easy. If you - 𝙬𝙚 get caught - seeing that you can't fly the helicopter, Hornsby is capable of taking Judith from you. From us"

"What should I do then? Be a good boy so that Hornsby doesn't tell everyone I'm a monster?" Negan demanded to know.

"Will find another way. It's too dangerous to steal their helicopter. Please stay with Judith now. She needs you..." Axel pleaded with him.

Judith let out a small cry and tried to reach him with her small hands.

Negan looked conflicted but then again he couldn't abandon Judith. Not with that guy around who wanted to take her from him.

Picked her up from Axel and tried to comfort her.

"I'll stay put for tonight but I'm telling you. I've reached my limits. Don't know how much longer I can take this suffering. With every day that passes Rick is in even greater danger. Have to do something"

"You will Negan" Axel sighed "just not that. Maybe we'll find fuels. Can't forbid us from taking the CRM's helicopter after all"

Negan thought of how he would be able to fall asleep tonight. Knew damn well that he wouldn't though.

Chapter Text

Negan lay in bed and felt despair filling him up. Wouldn't let Rick with that woman and especially now that she had gotten pregnant because of forcing Rick for a year now. Had to get his hands on their helicopter and take Rick out of there. An idea popped into his mind.

Picked up the walkie-talkie and called Dwight. Knew that it was a lot what he was to ask but he was the only one he could turn to. Thankfully Hornsby was not interested in the Sanctuary and had asked Dwight to not show up at all while these stormtroopers and Maggie were at Alexandria. Now he needed him though. Probably more than ever before.

"Yes?" heard Dwight's voice. As a leader, he was the last one to go to bed so Negan was sure he'd be awake.

"Dwight, it's Negan. I need you to come to our house in an hour. It's serious" Negan said and despite breaking his heart this was the only way.

Walked downstairs and saw Axel sleeping with Judith in his arms on the couch. Would be risking his life as well but he just couldn't stay put any longer.

"Axel" Negan said urgently as he shook his arm.

Axel blinked his eyes and saw that he'd fallen asleep with the baby. Bet that Negan wanted to put her to bed. Was about to apologize when he saw his face. Froze and held the baby girl protectively.

"I know that look. You had the same when you were killing Elizabeth" Axel mumbled as he sat up.

"I'll murder her and take my husband back. If Rick is with us, Hornsby won't dare to lay a hand on any of us. We will be back before he has the chance to do anything" Negan explained his plan.

"Negan he will take Judith," Axel said with fear in his eyes.

"I'm not stupid to leave her here. Dwight will come in an hour and he's gonna take her although he doesn't know that yet. Gonna become a father though so he gets my pain. The Sanctuary is the safest place I can think of. No one will touch her there"

"We will get killed" Axel warned him but he could see that his patience was over.

"So be it. At least we'll die trying to fix this. For Carl to be brought back home and get to hug his little sister" Negan said with tears in his eyes.

Axel stood up and handed him his daughter. If they were gonna do this, bet that he'd like to say goodbye to the kid.

Negan held her in his arms and knew that he had to try for her as well as their family.

"You will go to a place where they will care for you, alright?" he said to the sleeping kid "me and your dad will come get you as soon as possible. I promise Judy" Negan said emotionally.

Kissed her on the top of her blonde hair and it would be very hard to say goodbye. She would be with Dwight and Sherry though they'd care for her as if she was their kid.

Dwight couldn't deny that to him. Not after knowing how much he'd suffered away from his husband as Dwight had away from Sherry.

Gave her back to Axel as he'd started sobbing and saw his green eyes softening like butter as well.

"She really is a little ass-kicker," said to Negan with a bitter smile "has taken after all of you. At least by sending her away she's gonna be protected from Hornsby's wrath. That's what's important"

Negan took a trembling breath and nodded. They'd see each other again. The end couldn't be this.

Turned his back to go pack her things. Dwight would be there soon enough with many questions but he had to be ready and Judith as well.

Chapter Text

Let me know if you'd be interested in a continuation of this story👇👇

Chapter Text

"I hate you!" Rick snapped at Jadis as he had tears in his eyes from ending their talk with Negan without even letting him say goodbye.

"Should have never let you talk to him" Jadis answered coldly "won't be seeing each other ever again!"

Rick had enough and tried to attack her when she pulled out a taser. He gasped in pain as he fell to his knees.

"Agh" Rick let out as it had hurt a lot.

"You're not gonna harm me, Rick. Nor our baby" Jadis warned him with determination. "Now get naked, want to spank you"

"No" Rick managed to say even though he was in pain "fuck off"

"Ok, we can do it the hard way as well," Jadis said as she yanked Rick to his feet and made him bend over.

Cuffed his hands behind his back and Rick sobbed hard.

"Let me go!" Rick yelled at her in despair.

"Gonna erase Negan from your mind once and for all" Jadis replied as she lowered Rick's jeans to his knees.

"Don't do that to me" Rick said in fear as tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"Shut up" Jadis ordered and began the spanking.

Rick tried to get away but it was impossible. Stayed there as he took his punishment with tears in his eyes.

Soon his ass cheeks were red and stinging. He sobbed again but there was no mercy to his pleads.

"Please please, just stop" Rick cried out "I got my lesson..."

Jadis shot him a glare but stopped the punishment.

"Don't you dare mention Negan again or try to harm our baby in any way" she added coldly.

"Yes, I promise" Rick mumbled as his cheeks hurt really bad.

"Good," Jadis said plainly "stay here and think about what you promised right now. Will release you when I'm sure you've understood the severity of your actions"

Rick watched her helplessly as he stayed still, and bent over on the bed.

Closed his eyes and wished that this nightmare would eventually come to an end.