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Chapter Text

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I rolled over and slapped my phone a few times before it shut up. Then I snuggled back into my blankets.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Fives minutes later, I made sure to hit the "off" button instead of "snooze".

Bringgg! Bringgg! Bringgg!

This time, I slept for a whole 12 minutes before I got a call from my best friend. My phone somehow could send and receive calls to the 90's telephones that existed in this period of time. It was one of those things that I just didn't question.

"Zo? Are you awake?" Hermione asked.

"Course I am," I said sleepily.

"Have you gotten out of bed yet?" Hermione asked. I could feel her knowing smirk.

"Working on it," I said.

"Alright remember, you need to keep Harry distracted until 2:00 and then bring him over to the Burrow," Hermione reminded me.

"I know, I've got plans. See you later," I said.

I quickly got dressed and headed out to the living room where Harry was reading War and Peace on the sofa.

"Good morning, birthday boy!" I exclaimed, flopping down on the sofa and hugging Harry.

"It's my birthday? Oh yeah, I guess it is," Harry said.

"Yep, now, important question. Do you want to eat the free breakfast buffet the Leaky Cauldron provides or go get ice cream at Florean Fortescue's?"

"Ice cream! What kind of a question is that?"

We headed over to the store and purchased a strawberry ice cream with whipped cream for me and a mint chocolate chip ice cream with chocolate sauce for Harry. Despite Harry wearing his usual disguise of a Ravenclaw beanie, Florean recognized him and gave us the ice cream for free.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Harry asked casually.

"Harry, it's your birthday. We're going to do birthday things today. So, it's up to you," I said.

"Oh, um okay. The Dursley's never really acknowledged my birthday," Harry said sheepishly.

"Well the Dursley's are stuck up bitches. We are going to have loads of fun," I said with a smile.

"Well, um, I never had any fun on my birthday or on any other days, so I guess I'd like to help other kids. Those that don't have anybody else," Harry suggested.

"Alright then, I've got endless money, so we are going to put that to good use!" I said, my mind racing ahead of me as my lips curved into a grin.

"Um, okay," Harry said, wisely trusting that I already had a grand and dramatic plan.

We finished up our ice cream and after a brief stop to purchase some bottomless bags, walked out onto the London streets. It was easy to locate a car rental a short walk from the Leaky Cauldron. Harry and I both ducked into a side alley where I grabbed a vial and two shot glasses out of my bag.

"What's that?" Harry asked as I handed him a glass.

"Aging potion. We can't rent a car as eleven year olds. This will age us 15 years," I said, swallowing the mouthful of potion.

It felt weird to be back in my fully grown body. I was as tall as I was before I time travelled. My face was slightly more narrow, having lost the last of my baby fat. I had become used to being eleven again.

"Woah. I'm so tall," Harry exclaimed, looking down. He took a step forward and promptly fell flat on his face, thanks to his longer legs.

With my magical fake ID and muggle credit card, thank you Goblins, we were easily able to rent a car for the day.

"Zo do you know how to drive?" Harry asked as I climbed into the driver's seat of the car.

"Yeah, in America you can get a driver's permit at 15 and I got mine as soon as possible," I said and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "I had around three weeks of driving practice before I came here."

"Wait, what?"

"Chill out," I said as I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the London streets.

I had forgotten that in England you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road with the wheel on the right side and narrowly avoided a car crash. That took some getting used to. Ten highly dangerous minutes later we pulled into two parking spots at Hamley's.

"So, um, why didn't we take a cab or the tube?" Harry asked.

"Where would the fun in that be?"

"Right. I should have known. This is you we are talking about," Harry said with a teasing smile.

"Come on," I said, walking through the doors and grabbing a shopping cart.

"Toys, games and everything else a kid could want. Let's fill our carts with anything that catches our eye and then we will donate it all to an orphanage," I said.

Five trips later, we had over a thousand dollars worth of books, toys and games stuffed into six bags in the backseat and trunk of our rental car.

"So, I've got a list of several orphanages we can visit to donate the toys too. Since Google Maps won't exist for another two decades, you get to be my navigator," I said, handing Harry a map of the greater London area.

We stopped at five different orphanages, donating the books, toys and games to the overworked caretakers. The children were well taken care of, yet lacked a certain happiness in life. One girl, no more than five, was so thrilled to get a doll, never having had one before. I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried when she gave me a hug. There was so much that I never realized that I took for granted as a child.

"So, where are we giving the last bag too?" Harry asked as we snacked on muffins from a nearby cafe for lunch.

"Here," I said as we approached a dilapidated warehouse.

Once we got closer, the glamour lifted to reveal a medieval manor with overflowing gardens and a welcoming feel. A sign in front read 'Morgana's Home for Magical Children'.

"It's a magical orphanage," Harry said in awe.

"Yes, it was created by Morgana over 1,500 years ago as a safe haven for magical children who lost their parents and muggleborn children who weren't safe with their parents because of their magic," I told Harry. I had found this out while researching Magical Child Services back in January.

"Zo, why didn't I grow up here? I would have been much more happy here than with the Dursley's?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore had his reasons. I don't agree with them, but I do understand his point of view. Voldemort was raised in a muggle orphanage and it left him cold and uncaring. Dumbledore hoped that you would grow up loved by your family. There was a lot he did wrong in regards to your childhood, but I'm certain that his heart was in the right place. One of his greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses is his ability to see the best in people. He hoped that your aunt would take you in and love you, as her sister's child. Even if her knew about your childhood, he would insist on giving her a second chance. Hence why we didn't tell him about you leaving the Dursley's," I finished with a wry smile.

"He does seem like the giving out second chances type. And Voldemort grew up in a muggle orphanage?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yeah, you'll learn more about that in sixth year," I deflected. "For now, we have some toys to deliver."

Harry took off the Ravenclaw hat that he had taken to wearing, revealing his scar. We walked up the steps and I knocked three times on the door. An elderly woman with grey hair pulled into a bun.

"Hello dears, how can I help you?" she asked.

"My friend and I would like to donate some toys to the children," Harry said.

"Harry Potter, it's an honor to meet you. Come in, come in," she said ushering us inside. "I am Mrs. Willows, the matron of this home. You said you wanted to donate something?"

"Yes, we have books, dolls, comfort animals, toys, games and more that we purchased," I said, handing her the bag.

"Thank you so much, the children will be delighted. I'm sure they will be thrilled to meet you. We currently have 23 children under eleven and 14 older children. They older kids generally prefer to spend time with friends during the summer or in Diagon Alley, so it's just the little ones here today," Mrs. Willows said.

She stopped in front of an open doorway leading to a large playroom with children milling about. They all looked up when we entered.

"Children, this is Harry Potter and um,"

"Zo Hawk," I supplied.

"Wow! Did you really kill You-Know-Who?" an eight year old boy asked.

"Um, that was actually my mom and he was only temporarily defeated" Harry said uncomfortably. The boy looked disappointed.

"How would you like to hear the story about how Harry and I, along with our friends, killed a mountain troll?" I asked.

"Yeah!" the kids said. I sat down on the carpet and the children crowded around me.

"It was Halloween and we were all at the feast at Hogwarts when Voldemort sent a troll to attack," I began.

"Your not supposed to say his name," one girl told me.

"I thought You-Know-Who died?" another kid asked.

"He was only defeated and banished ten years ago. Voldemort is still alive and saying his name is a sign of bravery," I told the kids.

"A professor came into the Great Hall to warn us about the troll and Dumbledore told us to go back to our common rooms while the teachers took care of the troll," Harry began. "I realized that Zo and another one of our friends, Hermione were in the bathroom and didn't know about the troll. So my friend Ron and I rushed to warn them. But the troll had already found them!"

The children gasped in horror and I took over the storytelling.

"Luckily, I am always prepared for any situation. I cast the Exploding Charm at troll, but its skin was too thick. That was when Harry and Ron arrived. Harry threw a sink at the troll and I attacked it with my knives while Ron got Hermione out of danger. Then, I jumped onto the troll's back and stabbed it through the eyes!"

"Eww."

"Awesome."

"Wicked."

"And then the professors arrived and we got 20 points for Ravenclaw," Harry finished.

"I can't wait to go to Hogwarts," one girl exclaimed.

"When are you going?" Harry asked.

"I'm starting next year. I'm the only one who will be though," she said.

"Well, don't worry, I'll look out for you. What's your name?"

"I'm Maggie," she said.

"Well Maggie, I'm sure you will love Hogwarts," I told her.

We stayed and chatted with the kids for several hours. When, I glanced at the clock, it was 4:43 already.

"It was lovely meeting all of you and I look forward to seeing you all at Hogwarts," I said as Harry and I rose from the coloring table and walked out into the hallway.

"Thank you so much. You truly made their day," Mrs. Willows said.

"It was our pleasure," I said.

"They are really sweet kids," Harry added.

We walked out onto the street and summoned the Knight Bus.

"Zo, James, lovely to see you," Stan said. "Where are you headed to?"

"Ottery St Catchpole and I can pay double if you put us at the front of the list," I said, handing over a few gold coins.

Five minutes later, we stepped off of the Knight Bus.

"Where are we?" Harry asked.

"A cute little town near Devon," I replied, walking towards a lopsided house.

"You do know breaking and entering is illegal, right?" Harry asked as I opened the door and walked into the darkened house.

"SURPRISE!"

The lights flicked on revealing seven Weasleys and Hermione. Streamers hung from the ceiling alongside a banner saying 'Happy Birthday'.

"What?" Harry asked.

"It's your birthday party," I told him.

"Oh, you didn't have to do this," Harry protested.

"Nonsense dear. I'm Molly, Ron's mum. It's so nice to finally meet you," Mrs. Weasley said, enveloping Harry in a hug.

"Was this your idea?" Harry asked me.

"Yeah, Hermione and I did the planning and Mrs. Weasley did the cooking," I said.

"Come on, I'll show you around the house," Ron said to Harry. "The girls have already had the grand tour when they started planning your surprise party.

"Your house is amazing," Harry said as they walked upstairs.

Hermione started talking to Percy about something while the twins were quick to grab me for a conversation.

"So Zo, got any-"

"-ideas about pranking-"

"-little Harry?"

"Guys, this is the first birthday party he has ever had. No pranks on him tonight," I said.

"What is this?"

"No pranks you say?"

"No pranks on Harry," I clarified. "Everybody else is fair game. Besides, you need to start planning pranks for our new Defense teacher. He's an arrogant prat with absolutely no skill."

We chatted for a few more minutes before I went into the kitchen and offered to help Mrs. Weasley with dinner. She said that she had dinner under control and had Ginny and I set the table.

Dinner was delicious. There was roast chicken for everybody else (I had tofu), potatoes and fruit salad.

"So Harry, how have you enjoyed your summer so far?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Harry started talking about the muggle schoolwork that Harry, Hermione and I were doing.

"...been learning loads and have loved visiting Diagon Alley every day," Harry said.

"Your relatives take you to London every day?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Oh no, they didn't want we to stay with them anymore. Zo and I are both staying at the Leaky Cauldron," Harry said.

"What? You two are staying by yourselves?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"But you are children. Why didn't you ask to stay here?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"I, uh, didn't want to impose and I'm perfectly happy renting a room," Harry said uncomfortably.

"Nonsense, you two will stay with us for the rest of the summer. Harry, you can room with Ron and Zo, you can stay in Ginny's room," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Mrs. Weasley, thank you, but there's really no need-" I protested.

"I insist. I will not let you two stay by yourselves," she said with a tone of finality.

"Very well, thank you so much," I said.

I spent the rest of dinner trying to explain the concept of electricity to Mr. Weasley. I wasn't sure how much he understood, but at least he could pronounce 'electricity' correctly. Once we were finished with dinner, Mrs. Weasley brought out the cake. It was chocolate with red frosting and twelve candles. Like the rest of Mrs. Weasley's food it was mouthwateringly amazing.

After dessert, Mr. Weasley took Hermione home and then apparated Harry and I to the Leaky Cauldron to pack up our things. I had purchased a fancy truck with five compartments at the beginning of first year. It had a standard compartment that could pass muggle inspections, a walk-in closet, a storage room, a library and an office. Thanks to all of my extra space, most of my things were already in my trunk and I walked downstairs to grab Tom's attention.

"Hey Tom, Harry and I would like to check out of our rooms. I know we paid all in advance, so feel free to keep the extra money," I said, handing over our room keys.

"May I ask why? I hope you weren't displeased with the service," he said.

"Oh no, service was great. We were invited to stay at our friends' house for the rest of the summer," I said.

I walked back upstairs and entered our room to find Harry staring off into space with a confused expression on his face.

"Harry?" I asked.

"Zo, there was just a house-elf here that told me something horrible was going to happen at Hogwarts," he said.

"Oh, Dobby!" I exclaimed. "I can't believe I missed him."

"You know him?"

"Magical future knowledge," I replied, shrinking my trunk and sticking it in my sidebag.

"And the horrible things that are going to happen at Hogwarts?" he asked.

"There's always going to be something dangerous happening at Hogwarts. The issue will be resolved by the end of the year," I assured him.

We walked down into the pub and located Mr. Weasley who was chatting with another wizard. He apparated us back to the Burrow. Mrs. Weasley was knitting something, Fred and George were plotting something and Ron was playing chess with Percy while Ginny watched. Harry and I sat down on the couch, watching the two brothers play chess.

"So Ginny, are you excited for Hogwarts?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can't wait. My friend Luna is going to be in the same year as me," she said.

"That's nice. What class are you most looking forward too?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Ginny replied.

"Yeah. That one might be a letdown. But next year we will have a decent teacher. I recommend checking books out of the library and teaching yourselves," I said.

We continued chatting for another hour until everybody headed up to bed. I slept on a mattress on Ginny's floor and quickly fell asleep huddled up in a nest of blankets.

Chapter Text

In the morning, I was woken up by an energetic Ginny who was very excited to start the day. A quick "tempus" revealed that it was 7:38. I pulled on my fuzzy bathrobe and walked downstairs on autopilot. Everybody else was already sitting around the table

"Good morning girls," Mrs. Weasley said, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of us.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Ginny asked.

"I want to yeet garden gnomes," I said eagerly.

"Yeet?" Fred asked.

"What's that?" George continued.

"It's muggle slang for throwing something rather aggressively," I explained.

"Oh no dear, you don't have to do chores" Mrs. Weasley said, sitting down with her own plate.

"It sounds like fun," I said.

"Fair warning-"

"-they're nasty little-"

"-buggers who like-"

"-to bite people."

"Why don't you wear gloves while de-gnoming your garden?" I asked.

"Gloves?" Percy asked.

"Yeah, so that they don't bite you," I explained. "There are dragon leather gloves that are part of our school supplies. Those would work well."

"Blimey. That's a good idea," Ron said.

"And afterwards do you think I could borrow your broom? Fred and George won't let me try theirs," Ginny asked Harry.

"Sure," Harry replied.

We finished up breakfast and headed out to the garden. It was a large garden, with plenty of flower beds, trees and a small pond.

"So I take it wizarding garden gnomes aren't like muggle ones?" Harry asked.

"Nope, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent over and looked into a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods . . . ." There was a violent scuffling noise, the peony bush shuddered, and Ron straightened up. "This is a gnome," he said grimly.

"Gerroff me! Gerroff me!" squealed the gnome.

The gnome looked like an overgrown potato with spindly arms and legs. It certainly didn't look anything like muggle garden gnomes. Ron grasped in by his ankles and turned it upside down. He then began swinging the gnome around in circles over his head.

"This is what you have to do," Ron explained to us. "It doesn't hurt them - you've just got to make them really dizzy so they can't find their way back to the gnomeholes."

He let go of the gnome and it soared over the hedge and into the neighboring field.

"Pitiful," said Fred.

"I bet I can get mine beyond that stump," said George.

I pulled on my dragonhide leather gloves and got to work. It took a little while for me to get the hang of it, but by my third try I was able to get the gnome to clear the hedge. The key was to build up lots of momentum and let go at just the right moment for the gnomes to hurtle into the distance.

"See, they're not too bright," said George, seizing five or six gnomes at once.

"The moment they know the-"

"-de-gnoming's going on they-"

"-storm up to have a look. You'd-"

"-think they'd have learned-"

"-by now just to stay put."

Soon, the crowd of gnomes in the field started stumbling away, their little shoulders hunched.

"They'll be back," said Ron as they watched the gnomes disappear into the hedge on the other side of the field. "They love it here. Dad's too soft with them, he thinks they're funny. Anyway, we should go get lunch. I'm starving."

We all walked back into the house, took off our boots and sat down around the table. Ginny, Percy and Mr. Weasley came and sat down and a few minutes later Mrs. Weasley brought out sandwiches.

"So Mr. Weasley, what do you do for work?" Harry asked.

"I work for the Missuse of Muggle Artifacts office. We make sure than enchanted items don't end up in muggle hands. Biting kettles, shrinking door keys, those types of things. The things our lot have taken to enchanting, you wouldn't believe," he said.

"Like cars?" I asked with an innocently curious look on my face.

"C-Cars?" Mr. Weasley gulped.

"Yeah, imagine a flying car. That would be awesome. I know how to drive a car on land, but imagine driving a flying car" I said enthusiastically. Mr. Weasley beamed at me. Fred and George looked at me with knowing smirks, correctly guessing that I knew about their dad's secret car.

"Yes, dear, but that would be quite illegal," Mrs. Weasley told me.

"Actually, it wouldn't. I was curious about how technology and magic interact and have quite a passion for law, so I read a lot about it this summer. I found a neat loophole in the law. It's only illegal to enchant muggle items if it breaks the Statue of Secrecy by exposing magic to muggles. If a flying car had say, an invisibility button, then it would be perfectly legal," I explained.

I had actually looked it up over the summer. It made no sense to me that enchanting muggle technology was illegal, especially given how many things could count as muggle technology, from wheels to plumbing. It was only illegal to give magical items to muggles or to knowingly break the Statue of Secrecy with said magical items.

"Exactly. Zo is absolutely right," Mr. Weasley said excitedly. "Say, would you be interested in helping me with some muggle doohickeys in my shed?"

"I would be happy too," I replied.

Mrs. Weasley pursed her lips in a disapproving manner but said nothing as it was technically legal.

After lunch, the six of us headed out to the top of a nearby hill, where the trees where tall enough to play a simple games of Quidditch with only the quaffles. I had purchased a Nimbus 2000 over the summer and we all took turns using Harry's and my broom. Fred, Ginny and I were on one team, with me playing keeper while George, Ron and Harry were on the other team with Ron playing keeper. 

We had plenty of fun. Even I could see that Ginny had the makings of a superb chaser, especially while flying on a Nimbus 2000. I had played soccer in first and second grade and playing keeper was a lot like playing goalie. I blocked most of the shots, but Ron was definitely the better keeper. With Ginny as a chaser, my team managed to scrape a narrow win.

Afterwards, we all sat in a circle on the grass and I taught the others to how to weave flower crowns, which we all wore while we ran around and climbed trees. It was nice, to just be able to be a kid and not have to worry about the all the difficulties to come.

Chapter Text

"So Harry, do you have any plans for today?" I asked my best friend a few days after we had come to stay at the Burrow.

"No. I take it you do?" Harry replied.

"Yep. So the House of Potter has a bunch of money and political influence and stuff that hasn’t been dealt with in over ten years. I checked and you have both the Potter and the Perevell ancestral family seats in the Wizengamot. You will need to go to Gringotts and sort all of that out,” I said.

“Politics,” Harry gasped in horror. “And paperwork? I’d rather face Voldemort again.”

“I know, but you have to do it eventually and you’ll have me with you if you want. I’ve read plenty about this because I am going to be a lawyer. I can help you. Besides, the goblins find me tolerable and hilarious. I returned a long last artifact of theirs at the beginning of the summer,” I said.

“Alright, better sooner than later I suppose. But we need to get some of Mrs. Weasley’s breakfast first.”

“Definitely,” I agreed.

Mrs. Weasley served us fluffy pancakes with bacon for Harry and fresh strawberries for me. I told her that Harry and I were going to Diagon Alley for Gringotts business. She immediately protested saying that we were too young to be by ourselves. I pointed out that we had faced Voldemort by ourselves mere months ago and won, which she was horrified to hear.

Apparently, Ron had convinced Percy not to tell and Fred & George were sitting on that information for blackmail material later. Mrs. Weasley was too busy alternating between yelling at Ron for not telling her and fussing over him to make sure that he wasn't injured to realize that Harry and I had finished our breakfast and slipped into the living room to floo to the Leaky Cauldron.

With Harry’s hat firmly in place and covering up his scar, we walked to Gringotts and patiently waited our turn in line.

“Greetings Master Goblin. May your gold flow as freely as the blood of your enemies,” I said.

“And yours as well. I am Garrak. How may I help you?” he asked.

“I am Zo Hawk and this is Harry Potter. We wish to speak to the Potter Account Manager,” I said.

“Wait here, please,” Garrak said.

The goblin left and walked through a door behind him. A few minutes later he returned with another goblin in an expensive three piece suit.

“My name is Brunlok. I will require proof of your identity. Your wand will suffice,” he said. Harry handed over his wand and Brunlok inspected it before returning the wand a moment later.

“Greetings Mr. Potter. May your gold flow as freely as the blood of your enemies,” Brunlok said.

“Thanks, uh, I mean, and yours as well,” Harry said awkwardly.

“Please, come into my office Mr. Potter, Ms. Hawk,” Brunlok said. He led us through the bank hallways and into his office.

“How may I help you today?” he asked.

“I’d like to discuss my Potter Inheritance. I visited my vault last August, but otherwise I have no idea what I have inherited,” Harry said.

“I see. The vault you visited last year was your Trust Fund Vault. You also have access to the Potter Family Vault. Your parent’s vault was merged with the main Potter Family Vault upon their deaths. Other vaults you have access to are the Perevell Family Vault, as they were your ancestors through your father’s side. You were also declared Heir to the House of Black by your godfather, Sirius Black who is the Head of the House of Black,” Brunlok said.

“Wait, I have a godfather?” Harry asked. “Why didn’t he raise me?”

Brunlok cleared his throat awkwardly and glanced at me, hoping that I would explain the situation.

“So, the ministry is fucking incompetent and threw your godfather, or rather dogfather, in jail without a trial even though he is innocent. Now, before you get upset and storm the ministry, remember that we need to keep the timeline mainly intact. In the original version, he breaks out around a year from now and then you will get to meet him. Then, we can storm the ministry and hopefully get Fudge out of office,” I said.

“Got it. Wait a little while and then we get justice and not mess up time,” Harry said.

To his credit, Brunlok did not look shocked at the fact that Sirius was innocent, I was planning on picking a fight with the government or that I was a time traveler. I liked him.

“Additionally, you also have the Perevell and Potter seats in the Wizengamot. The House of Potter owns 16 properties and owns portions of 38 businesses. The House of Perevell owns 29 properties and several ancient artifacts. You will be able to claim your full inheritance, once you come of age at seventeen years old. Until then, you may appoint a regent for the House of Potter to sit on your seats on the Wizengamot and manage other affairs,” Brunlok continued.

“Zo, you understand this stuff. Can you be my regent?” Harry asked, desperately trying to shove his responsibilities onto anybody else.

“I think you need an adult, someone who doesn’t have to deal with school and fighting Voldemort and stuff. But don’t worry, I have the perfect person in mind for the job. Brunlok, if Harry gets somebody to agree to be Regent of House Potter, then what would he have to do?” I asked.

“Both Mr. Potter and his regent would need to come to Gringotts and fill out paperwork which would then be sent to the Ministry. It would need to get Ministry approval, which is merely a formality. They have interns sign off on any paperwork we give them and send it back. The paperwork generally doesn’t take any more than two weeks to be approved and then whoever you appoint would officially be the Regent of House Potter,” Brunlok said.

“Got it, thank you,” Harry said.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Brunlok escorted Harry and I out of Gringotts. We went to a small coffee shop in Diagon Alley and sat down at a table in the corner.

“So who do you have in mind for regent?” Harry asked.

“Andromeda Tonks.”

Chapter Text

“Who?” Harry asked.

“Andromeda Tonks nee Black. The Black Family is a very dark and old pureblood family so she will know all about politics and laws and stuff. She got disowned for marrying a muggleborn, she doesn’t agree with her family’s racist and conservative views. Giving her a bunch of political power will no doubt piss off a lot of stuck up pureblood politicians. Not to mention she has a badass daughter who is a shapeshifting cop and I really want to meet her,” I said.

“Brilliant. How do we get in contact with her?” Harry asked.

“You will need to owl her a formal letter asking her to meet her. But not too formal. Like twelve year olds trying to be responsible and in desperate need of an adult to help,” I suggested.

“Well that will be easy to do. Do you have something to write with?” Harry asked.

“Duh. What kind of a question is that?” I asked. I pulled out a piece of expensive parchment, fancy quill and ink.

Harry picked up the quill then put it down and gave me a significant look.

“Right,” I said. I reached into my side bag again and pulled out a dollar store pen.

“Thanks,” Harry said and began writing. Within a half hour, he had written a decent letter.

Dear Mrs. Tonks,

Hi, I’m Harry. I would like to arrange a meeting with you to discuss political affairs. My lawyer and I are available to meet with you any time this next week wherever you would like. Have a good day!

Sincerely,
Harry Potter

Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient Houses of Perevell and Potter

“What do you think?” Harry asked.

“Nice. Definitely sounds like it was written by a kid, but in a good way. I’m your lawyer?” I asked.

“Well you said you want to be a lawyer, you know laws and stuff and you are good at arguing with people. Plus having a lawyer makes me seem like I know what I’m doing,” Harry explained.

"You do realize I'm twelve slash sixteen and in school?" I asked.

"Yeah," Harry said with a shrug. "You know more laws then I do and it's not like you will actually be doing a lot of stuff."

“Got it. I should order a pantsuit or whatever the magical equivalent is,” I said.

We sent the letter off with Hedwig and got a response the next day. Mrs. Tonks had invited both of us to tea at her house Saturday afternoon.

“Nice. Inviting us to her house gives more of a casual meeting vibe. More as friends than political allies. She is likely curious and your mention of a “lawyer” has made her wary. She would prefer to interact with Harry rather than Heir Potter,” I said.

On Saturday morning, I paid Ginny five galleons to cover for us with Mrs. Weasley. Harry and I flooed to the Leaky Cauldron and then hailed a taxi to take us to Hampstead. The driver was hesitant to drive two pre-teens without any adults but we paid up front and gave him a 20% tip, and then he was very eager to take us.

After a forty five minute drive we arrived in front of a nice and unassuming suburban house. At first glance, it seemed like anybody could live there. However the garden gnomes’ (of the muggle variety) eyes seemed to follow me. I could feel the air shimmering around the house and feel the magic thrumming in the air.

“Is this the house?” Harry asked.

I double checked the letter that Mrs. Tonks had sent and nodded. There was a brief tingle as we passed through the wards and walked up to the front door. I knocked three times. A second later an older girl with bubblegum pink hair opened the door.

“Wotcher! How can I help you?” she asked.

“Nympadora, get away from the door. I’m having guests over,” a woman’s voice came from inside. An older woman with her hair in a low bun and a deep green dress came to the doorway.

“Hi, I’m Andromeda. It’s lovely to make your acquaintance,” she said, sticking out her hand.

“I’m Harry and this is Zo. She’s my lawyer and friend,” Harry said.

“Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking Mrs. Tonks’ hand. She didn’t even bat an eye at the great Harry Potter having a twelve year old lawyer, maintaning a friendly demeanor.

“Blimey! Are you Harry Potter?” Tonks asked.

“Um, yeah,” Harry said.

“Please, come inside. I’ve put the kettle on. Nymphadora, you were just complaining about your Auror Trainee paperwork. Why don’t you work on that?” Mrs. Tonks led us inside and into a homey sitting room. A second later she came out with three mugs of peppermint tea, handing one to each of us.

“So Mr. Potter, or would you like me to call you Harry?” Mrs. Tonks asked.

“Harry works.”

“So Harry, what would you like to talk about?” Mrs Tonks asked.

“Well, I have talked to my Gringotts Account Manager and to Zo. They both advise that I appoint a regent to manage my estates and sit on my family seats on the Wizengamot. So I was wondering if you would like to be my regent?” Harry asked.

Mrs. Tonks blinked and took a sip of tea, taking a moment to think. “May I ask why you are considering me for this position. I am a Healer, not a politician and I have never even met you before now.”

“Well, I haven’t met many wixen adults and most of them are teachers. And Zo said that your family was evil but that they taught you politics as a kid.”

“Harry, tact,” I said. “My apologies Mrs. Tonks.”

“Please, call me Andromeda,” she said with a slight smile. “And yes, I did come from a rather dark family. You do not mind that fact.”

“Well I wasn’t thrilled to find out that you are the aunt of my arch-nemesis, but Zo trusts you, so I’m willing to overlook that,” Harry said. I snorted at Andromeda’s confused look.

“Harry and Draco Malfoy hate each other and he was more concerned about than anything else. What Harry meant to say,” I told her, ”was that we know you aren’t like the majority of your family and have a more liberal view on most issues. If any conservative pureblood politicians get upset about a disgraced member of the Black Family having so much political power, then all the better.”

“And what would your political stance be?” Andromeda asked.

“I’m a, um, what was the word you used Zo, Democrat?” Harry asked.

“That’s an American term. I’m not entirely sure what the political terms in muggle Britain are, let alone magical Albion,” I said.

“Well, um, I’m big on equality. For everybody, muggles, muggleborns, centaurs…” Harry began.

“Werewolves, goblins, house-elves, half-giants, etcetera,” I continued.

“Safeguards in place so rich people can’t commit crimes and bribe their way out of prison. Funds to help homeless or low-income people. Basic human rights that really shouldn’t be debated yet still are. That sort of thing,” Harry said.

“And how much influence would you like to have over what I do, assuming I accept?” Andromeda asked.

“Um, ask my opinion if there is an important vote on something or if there is a bill you want to introduce. Otherwise send me a letter every month or so just updating me on what’s going on,” Harry said.

“Personally, I am very interested in politics and law making. I would love to help you out as an assistant over the summer,” I said.

“That could easily be arranged,” Andromeda said. “I would like to continue working part-time at St. Mungo’s.”

“Of course.”

“How much would I be paid?” she asked.

“Um, how much do you want to be paid?” Harry asked.

“5,000 galleons a year,” Andromeda replied without a second's hesitation.

“Zo, is that a lot of money?” Harry asked me.

“Well, I’m still trying to get the hang of the magical economy but accounting for thirty years of inflation and two separate transaction rates, I think that is around $40,000. That is very reasonable if on the low end of things for a part time job of this caliber,” I said.

“Okay, deal,” Harry said, sticking out his hand. Andromeda shook it.

The next day the three of us went to Gringotts to fill out all of the necessary paperwork. Andromeda didn't need to ask for clarification on what anything meant, like I did, further emphasizing how good of a choice she was. Afterwards, Harry and I bid good day to Andromeda and picked up some pranking supplies before flooing back to the Burrow.

Chapter Text

A few days after confirming Andromeda as regent, Harry and I sat eating breakfast with the rest of the Weasley’s. Fred and George were discussing their idea of a prank shop with me. I suggested the name of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and assured them that I would still employ them as my personal shoppers and continue paying very generously.

Then, Ginny began telling me about her best friend Luna who had hair that shone like the sun. It was adorable and I could totally tell that she had a baby crush.

"Letters from school," said Mr. Weasley, passing all five of us identical envelopes of yellowish parchment, addressed in green ink. "Dumbledore already knows you're here, Zo, Harry - doesn't miss a trick, that man.”

We all opened our letters and began to read.

SECOND-YEAR STUDENTS WILL REQUIRE:

The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk
Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lockhart
Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart
Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart
Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart
Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart
Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart
Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart

“Ugh, Lockhart,” I said with disgust.

“This lot won’t come cheap,” said George.

“Lockhart’s books are really expensive,” Fred added.

“Only buy three sets of books. Fred and George can share one, Ron and Ginny can switch off who uses the books since their classes are at different times and Percy can have his own. Not to mention you could probably buy most of this secondhand,” I suggested.

“Brilliant idea, Zo,” Mrs. Weasley said.

“I grew up in capitalist America. You pick up plenty of money saving tricks,” I said.

"Morning, all," said Percy, coming downstairs with his prefect badge pinned to his sweater. "Lovely day."

He sat down in the only remaining chair but leapt up again almost immediately, pulling from underneath him a moulting, gray feather duster - wait, that was an owl.

"Errol!" said Ron, taking the limp owl from Percy and extracting a letter from under its wing. "Finally - he's got Hermione's answer. I wrote to her about getting our things at Diagon Alley together."

Her letter said that she would be back in the country on Wednesday and we could all go get our things then.

Mrs. Weasley woke us all early the following Wednesday. After a quick half a dozen cheese sandwiches each, they pulled on their coats and Mrs. Weasley took a flowerpot off the kitchen mantelpiece and peered inside.

"We're running low, Arthur," she sighed. "We'll have to buy some more today... Ah well, guests first!

She offered Harry and I the flowerpot. Fortunately, Harry had already used the floo before and didn’t take a detour to Knockturn Alley. I emerged into the Leaky Cauldron a few seconds after us and the Weasleys came out moments later.

“Alright then, we should get books first,” Mrs. Weasley said.

“Mrs. Weasley, I could take Ginny to get her robes while the rest of you get books. I already got mine earlier this summer. Then we could meet up outside Flourish & Blotts and you could take her to get her wand while we get potions supplies for everybody,” I suggested.

Mrs. Weasley quickly agreed and Ginny and I headed off to Madam Malkins. That way, Ginny wouldn’t get the horcrux, somebody else would. Although I was slightly terrified what would happen if Fred or George had an angsty teenage Voldemort to encourage them.

“Hello dears, what can I do for you today?” Madame Malkin asked.

“Ginny needs three sets of standard Hogwarts robe and then we will do some browsing while those are getting made,” I said. If I remembered correctly (which was a major if considering all the middle school memories I had forcibly repressed), then I would have my major growth spurt the summer before I turned thirteen and could get new robes next year.

“Zo, I can’t afford three custom-made robes plus additional clothes,” Ginny whispered to me.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m paying,” I assured her.

Madame Malkin took Ginny’s measurements and then sent another employee into the back room to work on her robes, telling us that it would probably be fifteen minutes to a half hour before they were ready.

The two of us walked around the store, looking at the clothes on display. After I assured Ginny that she could get whatever she wanted, she really enjoyed looking at clothes. She picked out a set of casual yet nice tea length dress, two sets of robes, a knee length skirt, a pair of shorts, two pairs of pants, a sweater, a blouse and several shirts.

“I’ve never really gotten to choose my own clothes. Mum always picked them out,” Ginny told me as we looked at some shoes.

“That explains the whole new wardrobe,” I said with a smile. She grinned back at me.

She picked out a pair of muggle shoes with shoelaces and a pair of shiny black shoes. We headed to the checkout where Madame Malkin rung up the clothes we had chosen as well as three Hogwarts robes, a button up white shirt, a sweater vest, a tie, a black skirt and tights. I handed over a decent amount of gold and we picked up the bags and headed out of the store.

“This was nice,” Ginny said. “I have plenty of older brothers but I’ve never had an older sister.”

I paused, feeling emotions overwhelm me.

“I’m sorry,” Ginny said, seeing the tears in my eyes. “It’s just you’ve been so nice and sisterly and-”

“No, it’s okay,” I said, hugging her and taking a seat on a nearby bench. “It’s just, I had a little sister before, and I lost her. I- I don’t want to feel like I’m replacing her.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Ginny said, awkwardly giving me a hug.

“No it’s fine. I would love to be your big sister,” I wiped away my tears and stood up. “We should probably get going. I gave Fred and George a disposable camera so that they could get a good picture of the fight.”

“What fight?”

“You’ll see.”

We walked to Flourish and Botts where there were plenty of people gossiping while exiting the shop. The Weasley Family stood off to the side, Mrs. Weasley berating Mr. Weasley who sported a cut lip.

“What happened?” Ginny asked as we approached them.

“Lucius Malfoy started provoking your father and then the two got into a brawl like schoolchildren,” Mrs. Weasley said.

“Also, I punched some pompous guy who was doing a book signing and tried to drag me into a photo shoot for added publicity,” Harry added.

“I’m so proud,” I said, sniffling dramatically and wiping away a fake tear as I gave Harry a hug.

As Mrs. Weasley fussed over her husband, I discreetly glanced at Ginny's cauldron full of school books and then less discreetly poked through them, opening up the books. There was no diary.

“Did you get your robes?” Mrs. Weasley asked.

“Yep, and Zo bought me extra clothes too,” Ginny said. I winced. We would need to work on the value of discretion.

“Consider it a thank you for letting Harry and I stay with you this summer. It was the least I could do,” I said before Mrs. Weasley could protest.

“Well thank you very much dear,” she said.

We split up once again. Ginny and her parents went to Ollivanders to get her a wand. Percy went off to do scholarly things (or meet up with his girlfriend). Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George and I went to pick up our potions supplies.

“What now?” Ron asked.

“I need to make a trip to Knockturn to pick up some things,” I said casually.

“You’ve been to-”

“-Knockturn Alley? Can-”

“-we come? Mum never-”

“-lets us go in there.”

I sighed and glanced over at my friends. Harry was once more wearing his beanbag hat, but we still looked like a bunch of children. I waved my wand and all of our clothes turned gray and black.

“Okay, let’s go. The color changing spell will wear off in half an hour. It’s just to help us blend in. Stick by me and remember that with this many wizards around, the Trace doesn’t matter, but the Ministry will still know if we do any illegal spells.”

We walked in to the Alley, with me wearing a look sayio\ng “Dont mess with me or I’ll fuck you up,” that I had perfected once I started taking public transit. We entered one of the more reputable bookshops, although that wasn’t saying much.

“How can I help you today?” the old lady who might be a hag that ran the bookstore asked.

“I’m looking for a book on legally gray curses and a book on rare serpents,” I said.

The lady quickly found a few books that fit what I was looking for perfectly and I managed to negotiate down to half the price. Technically, it didn’t matter considering I had unlimited money but I had grown up in a capitalist economy and old habits die hard.

“Here, it's a Chekhov’s Gun,” I told Hermione as I handed her the book about serpents. She nodded and put it in her bag while everybody else looked at us in confusion.

“Hawk,” somebody called as we all walked out of the store. I turned and looked at a pop up booth.

“Hey Mundungus, whatcha selling?” I asked.

“Lucky talismans. They are just knock off necklaces with Cheering Charms. Listen, rumour has it that Lucius Malfoy is planning something, might be related to You-Know-Who,” Mundungus told me.

“Thanks for letting me know,” I nodded and pointed at an amethyst necklace with a silver chain. “How much for that one?”

“5 galleons for the necklace and 10 for the information,” Mundungus said. I raised an eyebrow at the high price and handed over the money.

“Pleasure doing business with you as always,” I told him. Mundungus grunted at me in reply.

“Who’s that guy and-”

“-how did he know you?”

“He’s Mundungus Fletcher. Hardly an upstanding citizen, but not a bad person at heart. I pay him to keep me informed of the goings on of the Wizarding underworld,” I explained.

“He said Malfoy’s dad is planning something,” Harry said.

“Don’t worry, I was already aware of that and have made plans. Besides, there is going to be some nefarious plot every year. It wouldn’t be Hogwarts without life threatening situations.”

The six of us walked back into Diagon Alley and I lifted the spell on our clothes with a quick “Finite Incantatem”. The six of us swung by Gambol and Japes to pick up pranking supplies for the year and then met up with the others outside of Ollivander’s.

Ginny proudly showed off her new wand as we all headed into the Leaky Cauldron to floo back to the Burrow.

Chapter Text

The rest of the summer flew by and before I knew it, it was September 1st. Ginny and I, who had both packed our trunks the night before and went to sleep, were sitting on the couch and enjoying a nice cup of tea while everybody else rushed around trying to find everything they needed at the last minute.

Mr. Weasley recruited Harry, Ginny and I to help move everything into the car, showing off his magical enhancements. I measured the car and the inside was twice as wide as the outside.

We all piled into the car. After having to go back several times, we were on the road. Mr. Weasley tried to get Mrs. Weasley let him use the flying feature but she wouldn’t let him.

“It’s a good thing we didn’t volunteer for sweep duty this year,” Percy said as he checked his watch.

“What’s sweep duty?” I asked.

“Well a lot of first year muggleborns feel really nervous about running into the barrier, so someone volunteers or a ministry personnel is assigned to make a lot of noise about muggles and Platform 9 & ¾ so that the muggleborns can go ask for help. There are charms in place so that only witches or wizards notice,” Percy explained patiently.

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why you guys were being so obvious last year,” Harry said.

We arrived at the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10 with 5 minutes before the train left. Percy went through the barrier first, followed by Mr. Weasley, then the twins and then I went. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny emerged right behind me. I looked back and could feel a layer of magic descend upon the barrier. Dobby. It was truly a shame that I wouldn’t be able to get a video of Harry and Ron crashing into the barrier.

Percy immediately boarded the train to go to the prefect’s compartment. Fred and George hurried after him onto the train to meet up with Lee. They had told me that they already had plenty of ideas for pranking Lockhart. I shrunk my trunk as soon as Mrs. Weasley wasn’t looking and tucked it into my jacket pocket. Mrs. Weasley hugged both Ginny and I goodbye and we got onto the train with a minute to spare.

“Hello Ginny,” a floaty voice said from behind us.

“Hi Luna,” Ginny beamed.

“Hello, you must be Luna. I’m Zo. Ginny has told me a lot about you,” I said, sticking out my hand. Ginny glared at me in mortification, she had barely mentioned Luna and clammed up as soon as I asked for more information.

“The Wrackspurts seem to like you. Is your brain feeling overstimulated or confused?” she asked.

“My brain is constantly overwhelmed and I’m thinking of a dozen different things at once if that’s what you mean. What are Wrackspurts?”

The three of us started talking about various magical creatures as we walked further down the train.

“Zo, Ginny!” Hermione shouted out. She had a compartment to herself and was waving us over.

“Hey Hermione, this is Ginny’s friend Luna. Luna, this is my friend Hermione,” I introduced as I sat down. “Luna knows a lot about rare magical creatures.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Hermione said politely.

“You have a soothing aura,” Luna said.

“Aura?” Hermione asked in confusion.

“I can sense auras. Yours is calm, determined and curious,” Luna said serenely.

“You can read auras,” I asked. I had not known this.

“Yes. Yours is wise, kindhearted and curious,” Luna said then furrowed her brow. “You are not from here.”

“I’m American,” I explained.

“No, you are not from this time,” Luna said.

“What?” the three of us said, Ginny in confusion and Hermione and I shocked that Ginny found out.

I cast a quick Muffliato at the doors before turning back around, “Yeah, I’m a time traveller, I was born in 2005 and on September 1st, 2020 I got thrown 29 years into the past and arrived at Platform 9 & ¾. Only Dumbledore, McGonagall, Harry, Hermione and Ron know. Rumors have it that I’m a Seer and that’s a really easy explanation, but you have to swear not to tell anybody that I’m a time traveller, especially not Ron’s rat,” I said.

“I pinky swear,” Luna said very solemnly, sticking out her pinky finger. I stuck out mine and we shook before repeating the same ritual with Ginny.

“Why can’t Scabbers know?” Ginny asked.

“Uhh, I can’t tell you too much information about the future and you won't find out why he can’t know until the end of next year,” I explained.

“Hey Zo, do you know where Ron and Harry are?” Hermione asked me after a few minutes of chatting.

“Oh, they missed the train and decided to fly Mr. Weasley’s car to school,” I said casually.

“They did WHAT?!” Hermione exclaimed.

“Dad’s car? Ron doesn’t know how to drive!” Ginny said.

“Well considering that they are flying instead of driving, there won’t be much traffic. That reminds me, if we head to the roof, we might be able to catch a glimpse of them,” I said as I stood up and opened the window.

“Zo no,” Hermione said once she realized what I planned.

“Zo yes,” I replied with a smirk as I hoisted myself up out of the window.

My feet scrambled for purchase on the side of the train. With a mixture of luck, my rock-climbing lessons from when I was younger and some instinct based magic, I climbed up far enough to grab one of the horizontal bars at the top of the train and pull myself up the rest of the way.

“Can I come up?” Ginny asked, sticking her head out of the window.

I took a moment to ponder the type of example I was setting for a young child before coming to the realization that all I was doing was pushing Ginny’s character development forwards a few years.

“Sure,” I said, removing a rope from my bag and throwing one side of it down to her. There, I was being plenty responsible. She climbed up much easier than I did with the help of the rope and soon we were standing on the roof of the train.

“You said we would see Ron and Harry?” Ginny yelled over the rush of the air going by us.

“Yeah, this way,” I said, gesturing for her to follow me.

We were in the first passenger car, close to the front of the train so it was only a short walk to driver’s car. I put one hand against the capuchon (the train chimney where all of the steam was coming out of) and used my other hand to block the sun from my eyes to get a good view.

Sure enough, nearly a half mile ahead was a blue car and we were rapidly gaining on them. As we got closer and closer, the boys turned around and screamed in unison. They were too close to even see Ginny and I on the roof. Ron jerked the wheel to the left and they did a series of spins and flips before coming onto the right side of the train, all which I filmed on my phone

While turning upside down, Harry fell out of the car, barely holding on to the car handle. Like the good friend I was, I continued filmed while grabbing my wand just in case Harry fell.

“Merlin’s balls!” Ginny exclaimed. I suppose that growing up with six older brothers would provide you with an extensive knowledge of swear words.

In the midst of their flailing and trying not to die, both boys noticed Ginny and I but were a little too preoccupied to process that we were standing on top of the train. Ron managed to pull Harry up all while not crashing the car and level out. Once they were safe, they both did a double take and looked at us.

Ron steered the car until they were hovering right above and staying even with the train. He rolled down the window and yelled out, “What the bloody hell are you two doing?”

“Getting a breath of fresh air,” I replied casually.

“You knew we would be here, didn’t you?” Harry asked.

“Yep,” I confirmed. “Magic future knowledge and all that. Speaking of, Ginny and Luna now know I’m from the future.”

“What next, are you going to tell the twins?” Ron asked.

“Not until the end of third year,” I said.

“Maybe we should talk when we aren’t flying a car to school and you aren’t standing on top of a speeding train?” Harry suggested.

“Sounds like a good idea. Hey, want to climb back in through the twins’ compartment window?” I asked Ginny.

“Awesome idea,” she replied with a smirk.

I felt for the twins’ magical signatures and went in that direction. It was a bit of a longer walk as the twins’ compartment was further down the train. I cast a quick Alohomora and then turned to Ginny.

“You go first, so I can levitate you back up if you slip,” I said. Ginny climbed down and slid through the window carefully. I jumped off and used the bar at the top of the train to swing myself through the window where I crumbled onto the floor, thankfully not breaking anything.

Fred, George and a boy with dreadlocks who must be Lee sat on the benches holding colorful objects that were no doubt some form of contraband.

“Hello boys, how are you doing?” I asked casually. I really loved acting like everything was perfectly normal while everyone was astonished and whatever crazy things I was doing.

“Where did you come from?” Lee asked.

“Outside,” I said like it was obvious.

“We climbed on top of the train and then saw Harry and Ron who stole Dad’s car and are flying it to school and then Harry almost fell out and died but then Ron caught him and then we had a conversation and Zo is totally insane but in a good way and is my new role model,” Ginny said without pausing for breath.

“Thanks for that assessment of my personality,” I said.

“I don’t even know-”

“-what part of that-”

“-sentence we should-”

“-focus on first.”

“You climbed onto the top of the train?”

“And Harry and Ronniekins stole Dad’s car?”

“Yes, yes and yes,” I confirmed.

“It was awesome. Have you ever tried to climb on top of the train?” Ginny asked her older brothers.

“I’m sad to say-”

“-that we haven’t.”

“We’re so proud,” Fred and George said in unison, wiping away fake tears.

“We should probably get back to our compartment before Hermione assumes we fell off and tells a prefect,” I said.

“You’re not going to tell my mom are you?” Ginny asked as we walked back down the train, on the inside this time.

I snorted, “Of course not. Contrary to popular belief, I am not suicidal.”

Chapter Text

When we got off the train, Hermione and I led Ginny and Luna to Hagrid and made introductions before climbing into a thestral drawn carriage along with Lavender, Parvati and Neville. The Gryffindor girls were very nice, if a bit shallow but I was confident that they would grow out of it. When Lavender brought up Lockhart, I made my opinions perfectly clear and poked a lot of holes in his stories. With those in doubt about Lockhart’s capabilities, I was confident that the whole school would be skeptical of him by the time classes started tomorrow.

When the Gryffindor girls started talking about who was dating who, Hermione and I turned to Neville. My friends and I weren’t all that close with Neville last year and I wanted to help boost his confidence this year. When he told us that he had his Dad’s old wand, which I had forgotten about, Hermione suggested that he talk to McGonagall about the pitfalls of using somebody else’s wand, especially when they were still alive. I offered my help in crafting a letter to his Grandmother about getting a new one over winter break.

We arrived at school and quickly took our seats at the Ravenclaw table. Once everybody was seated, McGonagall led the line of first years into the Great Hall.

Luna spent a few minutes under the hat before being sorted into Ravenclaw and came to sit right next to us. I got the impression that she was having a rather animated conversation with the hat. Margaret Tuft, who was the girl I met at the orphanage, also got sorted into Ravenclaw and sat next to Luna.

"Welcome to Ravenclaw. Let me know if you need anything," I said to the younger girls.

Ginny was the last person to get sorted and appeared very nervous by the time McGonagall called her name. The sorting hat quickly sorted her into Gryffindor and the twins burst out into cheers while Percy gave a vigorous applause.

“Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. Please enjoy the feast and be careful of the shepherd’s pie,” Dumbledore said.

“What’s wrong with the shepherd’s pie?” Maggie asked.

“No idea, but I’m vegetarian so that’s not my problem,” I said. When she looked hesitant I added, “I don’t think there’s something wrong with it, Dumbledore always says something weird though. It’s probably super spicy or something.”

"Hi Ginny, are you glad you got into Gryffindor?" I asked.

"Yeah, although I'm sad that Luna and I are in different houses," she said.

"Don't worry, we'll always be friends," Luna said, clasping Ginny's hands in hers.

"Thanks Luna," Ginny said with a smile.

Soon everybody began talking about what they were most looking forward to.

“So do you know if the Quidditch team accepts first years?” Ginny asked.

“First years generally can’t have their own brooms, although exceptions can be made if they make the House team while flying on the school brooms,” Hermione said.

“Although the rules say nothing about borrowing brooms. You can use mine,” I said.

“Really?” Ginny asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I got the broom because I like flying but I’m not a fan of playing Quidditch although I certainly like flying in general. You should ask the twins to introduce you to Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. What’s your position?” I asked.

“Either Chaser or Seeker,” Ginny said.

“I know that Gryffindor Seeker is open. Last year's seeker was a sixth year, but he's not doing the team this year to study for NEWTs. You should totally try out.”

We continued talking about Quidditch and I decided that the Holyhead Harpies were my favorite team purely because they were all strong feminists. Then Hermione helped give Ginny an overview of the classes, what to expect and the best studying tips.

After dinner came the fabulous desserts, and then Dumbledore rose to his feet for his customary speech.

“Ahem - just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well. I have been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors unless in emergency situations.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their House teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I would like to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Gilderoy Lockhart.”

Lockhart rose to his feet and gave a wave while flashing a disgustingly bright smile. There was plenty of applause. I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “BOOO!”

Lockhart hesitated and looked like he had no idea what to do. McGonagall pitched the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

“Zo!”

“What, I don’t like him.”

“And now, before we go to bed, let us sing our school song," Dumbledore said, withdrawing his wand. "Everyone pick their favorite tune and off we go!

I chose a very loud and dramatic opera voice and began to sing.

Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald,
Or young with scabby knees,

Our heads could do with filling,
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,

So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot.

After the song, Dumbledore dismissed us to bed and we headed out of the Great Hall. The crowd thinned as the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins split off to go downstairs while the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors went up to our respective towers. Lavender and Parvati immediately came up to us.

“Is it true that Harry and Ron flew a car to school?” Lavender asked.

“Yep. Just out of curiosity, how did you find out?” I asked.

“The Fat Lady’s friend Violet told me,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Are they going to get expelled?”

“No, just detention.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s a Seer,” Ginny said helpfully as the Ravenclaw group broke apart from the Gryffindor group.

We entered the Ravenclaw Common Room and rather than going to bed, the whole house seemed to have questions about Harry and Ron's escapade. The two boys themselves were akwardly standing in the middle to the common room.

Everybody swarmed around Harry and Ron, trying to ask all sorts of questions about the car itself or how they navigated their way to Hogwarts or other questions.. We were the house of curiousity and learning, after all.

“What were you two thinking?” Hermione asked.

“The barrier shut itself off and we couldn’t get through,” Ron said. “How else were we supposed to get to Hogwarts?”

“You could have waited for your parents to come back through and they could have flooed Flitwick or McGonagall,” Hermione said.

“Uhhh-”

“We didn’t think of that.”

“Clearly,” Hermione said.

“Zo and Ginny climbed onto the roof,” Ron said, trying to distract Hermione.

“Zo and Ginny were perfectly safe and took precautions,” Hermione said.

“Look, it probably wasn’t the best idea, but we learned from our mistake,” Harry said.

“Plus Mum will lecture us once she hears,” Ron said gloomily.

Harry and Ron excused themselves to bed rather quickly to escape the crowd.

"You two should probably go to bed soon. First day of classes are tomorrow," I said to Maggie and Luna, who had been following me around.

"Hopefully we can get the boys to focus more on their schoolwork," Hermione said to me as we walked up to the second year girls floor.

"That's going to take a lot of work. Not to mention we need to figure out this year's life threatening mystery," I reminded her.

"Is life threatening danger going to be an ongoing thing?" Hermione asked as we walked upstairs.

"Yep," I confirmed as we entered our dorm. Home sweet home.

We spent a few minutes unpacking and setting up our dorm before we both put on our pajamas and went to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next day started as most school days did. Hermione woke me up as she went into the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth. I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my Ravenclaw uniform. Then I used the bathroom while Hermione put everything in her book bag. I grabbed my sidebag, which already had everything I could possibly need and a lot of things I didn’t need in it. Finally, we walked together towards the Great Hall.

I was on my second cup of tea and halfway through my plate of eggs when Harry, Ron and Neville came in and sat down. Hermione, who was still a little annoyed with them, greeted Harry and Ron stiffly. Ginny, Luna and Maggie came down shortly after them.

Errol made a crash landing into the milk jug.

“Hah, Mum sent you a Howler,” Ginny said when she saw the howler.

I pulled out my four pairs of earmuffs, which Hermione, Ginny, Neville and I quickly put on. We would hear things, but not at a deafening level.

"She's - she's sent me a Howler," said Ron faintly.

“What’s a howler?” Harry asked.

By now a bit of a crowd had gathered to hear the howler and I was reading to start videoing it. Ron quickly opened and tossed it back onto the table.

“RONALD WEASLEY! STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE. WE GOT A LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED. I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED - YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME!”

“That’s a howler,” I told Harry.

The crowd that had gathered around us dispersed as Flitwick came by handing out our schedules. We had Herbology first thing so we headed their straight away. As we approached the greenhouses, we saw a Lockhart trying to mansplain Herbology to a very fed up Professor Sprout.

Professor Sprout told us that we would be in Greenhouse Three and a murmur of interest arose. Lockhart spotted Harry and was about to open his mouth when Hermione and I hurried him into the greenhouse and Sprout sent him on his way.

“Thanks,” Harry said.

Professor Sprout gave us a lecture on Mandrakes, during which Hermione earned twenty points. I asked when the Mandrakes would be fully grown and Sprout told me it would be sometime before final exams. I already knew this, but had no reason why I would need to know the specific date.

Then we began repotting the mandrakes. It was hard and messy work, what with the Mandrakes kicking dirt everywhere. I was very glad I had the foresight to wear a bandana and sunglasses to Herbology.

After class, everybody went back to the castle to wash our faces. Hermione and I went into the second floor’s girls bathroom as nobody else was there and I wanted to point it out early in the year. We scrubbed the dirt off of our faces with towels and chatted with Myrtle for a few minutes before we had to go to Transfiguration class.

After I transfigured my beetle into a shiny black button and back, I tried the spell both wordlessly and wandlessly. I had found that casting wandlessly was difficult, I could get better results when I used something to point, whether a pencil, a dagger or even just my finger. It was likely that my brain just found it easier when I had something to point with.

While Hermione and I were doing wonderfully, Ron was having a much more difficult time due to his broken wand. I had thought about stealing his wand before boarding the train so that it wouldn’t get broken, but ultimately decided not to as he still had Charlie’s old wand and needed his own.

“Oi, Ron. You can borrow mine,” I said, tossing my wand to him. “I already finished with my button.”

Ron’s efforts improved slightly but he still had problems as my wand did not belong to him. Needless to say, we were all pleased when the lunch bell rang.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your wand Zo. Mine’s not working and if I write home for another one, Mum will tell me it’s my own fault,” Ron said, returning my wand to me.

“By summertime Mrs. Weasley will probably have cooled off-” “That’s optimistic” ''-and you can ask for another one. Besides, you do need your own wand,” I said.

“Yeah but what should I do in the meantime?” Ron asked. “I can hardly go a whole year without a decent wand.

“I’ve been meaning to buy a spare wand for a while now and there’s a secondhand wand shop -nowhere good as Ollivander’s of course- in Hogsmeade. I’ll get one first Hogsmeade weekend and you can borrow it for the rest of the year,” I said with a shrug.

“Thanks,” Ron said brightly.

“We’re second years. We can’t go into Hogsmeade,” Hermione said.

“Well first of all, I know most secret passageways and have snuck to Hogsmeade before. Second of all, I pay Fred and George very well to be my personal shoppers when I don’t feel like going to get things myself.”

“That explains where they are getting all of their funding from. I was worried it was something illegal,” Ginny said, sitting down next to us with Luna and Maggie.

“Hi, did you enjoy your first classes?” Hermione asked.

“Definitely not. We had Potions then DADA,” Maggie said, pulling a face.

“Ahh,” I said sympathetically.

“What’s Lockhart like?” Ron asked.

“The Nargles have stolen his brain,” Luna said matter-of-factly.

“Assuming he even had one to begin with,” I muttered.

We finished up lunch and the first years decided to go on a walk to familiarize themselves with the castle while my friends and I went to the courtyard. Colin hung around nervously, too scared to approach us.

“Hi, my name is Zo. How are you doing?” I asked the little Gryffindor.

"Hi, I'm Colin Creevey. Do you think I could have a picture?” he asked, gesturing to his camera.

“Sure!” I waved over a third year Slytherin that was part of the Smuggleborn group and offered them a galleon to take a picture of the five of us. We all gathered around Colin and smiled.

“Now, let’s do a funny face,” I said. We all stuck our tongues out or put our hands on our head.

“Thank you so much,” Colin said, bouncing up and down.

“Of course,” I said with a smile. Across the courtyard, I saw Malfoy about to come over and cause trouble, but a pointed glance sent him running.

“Say Colin, have you ever thought about taking photos professionally?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, I want to be a professional photographer when I’m older. Why?”

“Well over the summer Zo did some legal stuff so that nobody can write in the paper about me or publish any photos that I’m in without my permission,” Harry began.

“I trademarked you,” I told him.

“Yeah that. Basically that means that any photos that they publish would have to be signed off on by me or Zo, cause she’s my lawyer or be photos that we sell to them. So basically, would you like to be my professional photographer?” Harry asked. “Whenever I need photos, you would take pictures of me, I’d sell them to a newspaper and then you’d get a portion of the profit.”

Colin squealed and jumped up and down and up and down and up and down.

“That’s a really good idea,” I told Harry.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I won’t disappoint you. I’ve already taken a few photography classes so I will do really good photos,” Colin said enthusiastically.

“Awesome,” Harry said, shaking Colin’s hand and nearly getting his arm yanked off.

“I’ll let you know if we need photos taken. In the meantime, classes start in five minutes,” I said.

Colin gave one last squeal and raced off. The four of us walked to the DADA classroom, which was a different one then last year, and took seats in the very back. Once everybody had sat down, Lockhart grabbed one of Ron’s book and held it up for the whole class to see.

“Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award - but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her! I see you've all bought a complete set of my books -well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in -" When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes - start - now!"

I glanced at my paper and a smirk came over my face as I began to write.

What is Gilderoy Lockart’s favorite color?
Black like his soul.

What is Gilderoy Lockart’s secret ambition?
To take over the world.

What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest achievement to date?
Convincing the Wizarding World that he is a semi-competent wizard.

I had a lot of fun answering the questions, never outright saying that I knew he obliviated people and took credit for their accomplishments but coming awfully close. Thirty minutes later, he collected our quizzes and flipped through them. I could tell when he got to mine because he pales drastically and cleared his throat.

“Well, it seems like not everybody got the spirit of the assignment, but well done. Now, to business.”

He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.

“Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm. I must ask you not to scream, it might provoke them.”

Lockhart whipped off the fabric covering the cage and announced, “Freshly caught Cornish pixies.”

Everybody burst out laughing. Lockhart looked quite confused.

“Yes, what is it?” he asked.

“Well, they’re not — they’re not very — dangerous, are they?” Terry Boot choked.

“Don’t be so sure!” said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Terry. “Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!”

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.

“Right, then,” Lockhart said loudly. “Let’s see what you make of them!” And he opened the cage.

Glorious chaos erupted. They shot out in every direction, swarming all over the room. Two of them seized Ron by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, upended the wastebasket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Ron was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.

“Come on now — round them up, round them up, they’re only pixies,” Lockhart shouted.

He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed, ''Peskipiksi Pesternomir!"

It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Ron, who fell a second later as the chandelier gave way.

The bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were almost at the door, and said, “Well, I’ll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage.” He swept past them and shut the door quickly behind him.

I ran across the room and yanked open the door.

“Be free, my winged friends. Be free,” I shouted as they streamed past me and into the hallways.

“Zo, what did you just do?” Hermione asked in horror.

“What? It’s not like it’s even my fault. This one is on Lockhart. Now, let’s go watch,” I said, happily sprinting out of the classroom.

As the bell had just rung, nearly everybody was in the hallways. It was the chaos in the classroom multiplied a thousandfold. The students were panicking and trying to take shelter while the pixies swooped down and stole anything they could get their hands on. Colin was taking pictures furiously until one of the pixies grabbed the camera out of his hands. I quickly hit the pixie with a stinging hex so that it let go of the camera and Colin could grab it.

“Quite beautiful,” Luna remarked as she came to stand next to us.

“Quite chaotic,” Maggie said.

“Quite awesome,” Ginny breathed in wonder.

The pixies scattered and flew in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. A couple of seconds later the teachers arrived in full force to see the last of the pixies flying out of the open window.

“You four,” McGonagall said, coming over to us. “Did you do this?”

“No, Lockhart brought in pixies to class and let them loose. Once they got out of control, he fled to his office and left the students to handle it, nevermind that we had no idea how. Once the bell rang, everybody left and the pixies got loose,” I said. It was technically true.

“That idiot!” McGonagall said, turning red in the face and storming past us into the DADA classroom.

“Ah, another day at Hogwarts,” I said happily.

Chapter Text

The next few days consisted of attending our classes and Harry ducking into secret nooks and passageways to avoid Lockhart. In our second Potions class of the year, we switched out Snape’s wand with one of Fred and George’s prank wands. Despite there being no evidence that we were guilty, Harry and I both got detention on Saturday afternoon and lost twenty points.

Needless to say, all of us were glad when the weekend arrived. Which was why I was very annoyed when I was woken up at 4:15 in the morning.

“Zo, Quidditch tryouts are today,” Ginny’s voice said from somewhere outside my cocoon of warmth and bliss.

“How did you even get into Ravenclaw Tower,” I asked groggily.

“An older student let me in when I explained I was borrowing something from you. Sorry for waking you up but you said I could borrow your broom and I assumed that you booby trapped your trunk or something,” Ginny said apologetically. She wasn’t wrong.

“What time do tryouts start?” I asked without opening my eyes.

“5:00 but I want to get there early. And I still need to eat.”

With great effort, I pulled myself out of bed and walked to my trunk. I waved my wand and said “Open storage," summoned my broom and my broom-riding gloves to my hand, shut the trunk and handed them to Ginny.

“Thanks,” she said.

“No problem. For the future, I’ll just shrink my broom and leave it on my nightstand with an anti-theft charm so you can grab it without waking me up. I'm, going back to bed now," I said, crawling back into bed and pulling my covers over myself.

At dinner, Ginny excitedly informed me that she made the team and was the new Gryffindor Seeker.

On Sunday morning my sleep was once again ruined by Hermione waking me up to get breakfast with her and Ron. Honestly, did nobody here understand the value of a good night’s sleep?

It was at breakfast that I found out that Malfoy had called Hermione a mudblood.

"Hey, don't listen to him," I said, putting an arm around my crying friend.

"I'm fine, really. I don't know why I am crying," Hermione sobbed.

“Teenage hormones, they suck. I know just the thing to cheer you up. Harry and Ron have detention tonight for the flying car. We should go shopping. You haven’t been to Hogsmeade yet,” I suggested.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Hermione asked.

“Who cares? We’ll use Harry’s Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map so we won’t get caught.”

“Wait, what’s the Marauder’s Map? You said the Marauders were legendary pranksters but what’s the Map?” Harry asked.

“Oh, they made a Map that shows all of Hogwarts and the people who are in it, in real time. It’s super handy. Fred and George currently have it and I made a deal with them that I will tell them who the Marauders are in third year if they let me borrow the map from time to time,” I explained.

“Well I suppose if we are taking precautions to not get caught, then it’s fine,” Hermione said.

“We should also do something to prank the Slytherins,” Ron suggested,

“Should we shower them in glitter or spike their food with a potion that causes gastrointestinal problems?” I asked.

“Gas-whatsa?” Harry asked.

“Makes them fart.”

“Definitely that one,” Ron said.

“Boys,” Hermione said. I shared a long suffering sigh with her.

We swung by Ravenclaw Tower to get the aforementioned potion from my trunk then took a secret passage that was a slide all the way down to the dungeon level where we gave the potion to the house elves.

Professor McGonagall was waiting for us in the Entrance Hall and informed Harry and Ron of their detentions, which they were both very upset about.

“Spill ink all over Lockhart’s robes,” I suggested.

“How does that potion work?” Ron asked.

“It takes fifteen minutes to kick in. Just eat your lunch for now,” I told him as I grabbed a grilled cheese.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later, the entire Slytherin table was mortified that they were passing gas, the other three tables were laughing and Madam Pomfrey was handing Professor McGonagall a headache-reliever potion.

A few minutes later, Professor McGonagall came over to question Forge and Gred and then came over to ask us if we had anything to do with the prank and what we were doing prior to lunch.

Seeing an opportunity, I casually asked her what a “mudblood” meant, saying that Malfoy had called Hermione one. McGonagall pursed her lips and informed us that it was a very offensive insult to muggleborns and to tell her immediately if somebody ever used that word before walking over to Malfoy.

“Nice work,” Ron said.

“The way you phrased that made it sound like you didn’t mean to get Malfoy in trouble, but did and handily distracted her from the prank,” Harry said appreciatively.

“The way I figure, we only have a year max of not being immediately under suspicion so we should make the most of that. Even today we were the secondary suspects,” I said.

“We did do it though,” Hermione pointed out.

“Yeah but we have somewhat decent alibis and the house elves don't snitch,” I pointed out.

Ginny, Luna and Maggie came over to the Ravenclaw table and asked if we could help them with some assignments that they were struggling with. The seven of us went to the library where Neville joined us, wanting Hermione’s help with a Potions assignment. The boys and Hermione worked on that while I assisted the younger kids with turning matchsticks into needles.

After a couple hours of homework, I showed the first years all of the different sections of the library, the secret study nooks that I had discovered and we ended up in the fiction section where everyone selected a few books to check out and went over to some sofas to read the books.

Soon after, we all went up to Ravenclaw Tower, even Neville and Ginny, because they didn’t care about House divisions and nobody called them out because it was early enough in the year that nobody had the first year’s faces memorized. Harry and Ron started a game of Exploding Snap with Neville. I grabbed the Cloak and Map, regrew the eyebrows that Ron had burnt off in the two minutes I was gone.

“Where are you going?” Maggie asked Hermione and I.

“Library,” I said.

Ginny merely raised an eyebrow.

“We’re going to sneak out to Hogsmeade to go shopping. Please don’t tell,” Hermoine said.

“Sure, but we’re coming with you,” Ginny said, jumping up.

Hermione and I had a hurried conversation before turning back to the younger kids.

“Pinky promise that you won’t tell anybody about what you see,” Hermione said. They all solemnly pinky swore.

The Cloak magically somehow fit over all of us. Sometimes, I found that it was easier to not question magic defying the laws of nature and just roll with it. We didn’t use the map as we wanted it to remain secret. The five of us slipped into the passageway and took off the Cloak.

“Okay it’s a decent walk from here, emerges in Honeydukes so we will need to put the Cloak back on then into an alleyway and take it off again,” I said as we walked.

“This is awesome!” Maggie exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” Ginny agreed.

Luna merely hummed in agreement as she tried to grab air. Or what looked to my eyes to be air but with my Magic Sense, which I had been working on over the summer, I sensed what appeared to be a butterfly. Maybe a Wrackspurt?

We walked into Hogsmeade and shopped. We went into bookshops, Scrivenshaft's, Dervish and Banges and Zonko’s, where I grabbed several shopping baskets and told my friends to grab anything that looked interesting. I found a nice second hand wand shop where I got a spare wand and a fancy holster that attached to my sleeve and my wand would jump into my hand when I flicked my wrist.

“Isn’t that illegal?” Maggie asked as I shrunk our bags so everybody could tuck them into pockets.

“Technically yes, but the Trace only senses that magic was used close to my wand, not who did it. Ginny, for example, could use magic at home and it wouldn’t even set off the Trace because hers is a registered wizarding home and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley use magic constantly. Hermione, however, lives in a registered muggle home so any magic used close to her would be assumed to be hers. So, the Ministry will only be able to tell that I am close to Hogsmeade when somebody uses magic. Since it's Hogsmeade, it won’t even trigger an alert,” I explained.

“That’s not fair,” Luna said, sounding surprised. Oh how innocent they were, still believing that the government was just.

“Not to mention it’s a free pass for pureloods while muggleborns can’t use any magic!” Hermione exclaimed in anger.

“Still believe in the righteousness in the ministry?” I asked dryly.

“Clearly the Ministry works differently than the British government. Muggle politicians would never accept bribes from terrorists,” Hermione said.

“Well I don’t know about Britain, but politicians in America are totally corrupt,” I said.

“God, politics sucks,” Maggie said, lightening the mood as we all chuckled.

“Totally,” I said.

“Want to go get dinner here instead of returning to Hogwarts?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, let Girl’s Night continue!” Ginny said.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Harry told us all how he had heard a voice talking about murder. Right, the basilisk had just been awakened. After clarifying that Lockhart hadn’t heard the voice, everybody put the issue on the back burner for the moment and continued on with our lives.

The weeks continued on with lots of pranks on Lockhart. After the fourth or fifth time he was found stuck upside down to the ceiling, most people just started ignoring him until one of the teachers could finally be bothered to get him down. My personal favorite was the cloud that rained rainbow glitter and followed him everywhere. That one had been Luna’s idea.

One day, as I was wandering through the secret passageways and definitely not doing anything against the rules, I overheard a crash and popped out of a swinging portrait to see Peeves and Sir Nick hovering over a crashed cabinet. Right, dominoes, Dumbledore’s death.

“Love the chaos. Any particular reason?” I asked.

“ZoZo! We’re getting Potty out of trouble with Filch,” Peeves informed me.

“Harry! Harry! Did it work?”

Nearly Headless Nick came gliding out of a classroom, Peeves and I trailing behind.

“I persuaded Peeves to crash it right over Filch’s office,” said Nick eagerly. “Thought it might distract him — ”

“Was that you?” said Harry gratefully. “Yeah, it worked, I didn’t even get detention. Thanks, Nick!”

Nearly Headless Nick came gliding out of a classroom, Peeves and I trailing behind.

“I persuaded Peeves to crash it right over Filch’s office,” said Nick eagerly. “Thought it might distract him — ”

“Was that you?” said Harry gratefully. “Yeah, it worked, I didn’t even get detention. Thanks, Nick!”

Peeves disappeared off and Harry, Nick and I set off up the corridor together.

“I wish there was something I could do for you about the Headless Hunt,” Harry said, looking at the letter that Nick was holding.

Nearly Headless Nick stopped in his tracks and Harry walked right through him, shuddering

“But there is something you could do for me,” said Nick excitedly. “Harry, would I be asking too much, but no, you wouldn’t want -”

“What is it?” said Harry.

“Well, this Halloween will be my five hundredth deathday,” said Nearly Headless Nick, drawing himself up and looking dignified.

“Oh Nick, Harry and I would love to come to your birthday, but that’s a difficult day for him. His parents died on Halloween you know,” I said regretfully. “He could write a letter about how frightening and impressive if you would like.”

“Oh yes, I’m so sorry if I was insensitive. I would love that letter,” Nick said, beaming and floating through the wall.

“My parents died on Halloween?” Harry asked.

“Oh,” I said before hugging him tightly. “You didn’t know that? Yeah, they did. I’m sorry for bringing them up. I should have just said we were planning a ritual sacrifice or something. That was pretty crappy of me,” I admitted.

“It’s fine. Why can’t we go to the party?” Harry asked.

“You know how the troll attacked last year? Well something is going to happen this year. In the original timeline, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and got blamed by the school. I’d like to avoid that this year,” I said.

“Got it. I assume you won’t tell me yet?” Harry asked.

“Yep,” I said.

Harry told Ron and Hermione that something bad was going to happen but I wouldn’t tell them because of timeline preservation. Harry and I both wrote letters to the Headless Hunt on Nick’s behalf. His letter focused on how scary and ghostlike Nick was, emphasizing how gruesome it was that his head was hanging on by a thread despite the amount of times he had been beheaded. Mine pointed out how it could be seen as biased as Sir Patrick and Sir Nick were from two families that had been feuding when they were alive and politely inquiring how the Union of Deceased Spirits (which was a real thing, I looked it up) would feel.

In the days leading up to the Halloween Feast, the Great Hall was decorated with live bats and giant carved pumpkins that made wonderful reading and/or spying nooks as long as you cast spells to protect you from the pumpkin guts. At 7:00 on Halloween, the four of us walked into the well-decorated hall and sat down next to the firsties.

“So, did you hear about the troll attack on Halloween last year?” I asked as I piled plenty of sweets onto my plates and even more into my sidebag.

“The what attack? A troll got into Hogwarts?” Maggie asked.

"Trolls are real?" said Colin, who was sitting at the Ravenclaw table.

“I thought Fred and George were joking,” Ginny said. “I mean, they also said that You-Know-Who was the DADA teacher.”

“Isn’t Hogwarts supposed to be safe?” Marigold Malkin, a Ravenclaw first year asked.

“Alright, story time kiddos. So last year Voldemort really was possessing the DADA teacher-” there were plenty of gasps “-and he let the troll into Hogwarts. Most everyone was at the feast and Dumbledore sent everyone back to their common rooms. A stupid decision considering Quirellmort said the troll was in the dungeons and half of the school lives in the dungeons. Anyway, Hermione and I weren’t at the feast. We were in the bathroom, doing girl things like braiding each other's hair and plotting to take over Hogwarts,” I said.

“No we weren’t,” Hermione interrupted.

“Hush Hermione, it’s called artistic license,” I said. “By the way, we’re recruiting.”

The first years snickered.

“So by now the troll had wandered out of the dungeon and found its way into the girls bathroom because you can't have the full Hogwarts experience without a life threatening situation at least once a year. Harry and Ron had come to warn us but locked the troll in the bathroom without realizing that we were in there. I tried to cast Bombarda, but trolls have spell resistant skin and it didn’t work.”

“Did you die?” Anton Cresswell asked eagerly.

“Obviously not you dimwit. Do they look like ghosts?” Ginny replied.

“By now Harry and Ron realized that we were in the bathroom and had come in. I always have weapons on me incase of an attack like this, so I charged the troll with a pair of knives while the boys got Hermione out of the way. I jumped onto the troll’s back and stabbed it’s eyes. It fell down and died just before the teachers came in. Then we won 20 points and went back to the Ravenclaw Tower to finish the feast,” I finished.

“Awesome!” Ginny said.

“Is Hogwarts always this dangerous?” Selina Fawcett asked.

“Yeah, especially on Halloween since Samhain is a time where dark magic is the strongest and the veil between worlds is weakest. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is an attack tonight. Speaking of, Colin, do you have your camera?” I asked.

“Yep, I carry it around with me at all times,” he said.

“Good work. My magic future knowledge tells me that we will encounter the scene of an attack after dinner, so I’m hiring you to take pictures of that and get them magically printed out,” I said.

Colin gave a little squeal of delight before composing himself and asking in a comically serious voice, “Should I get picture of everybody’s reaction too?”

“There’s privacy laws protecting minors from having their pictures published without parental permission, but getting pictures of the teachers would be awesome,” I replied.

Dessert came out and the conversation shifted to gossiping about Lockhart’s incompetence and the various pranks that he was on the receiving end to. As the feast was finishing up, Harry stiffened and leaned over to whisper to Ron, Hermione and I.

“It’s that voice. I can hear it again. It’s going to kill somebody!”

The four of us leaned our heads together as Dumbledore gave a closing speech about honoring the dead or something.

“Harry, listen. I promise that nobody is going to die. But you can’t draw attention to the fact that only you can hear a murderous voice. Just let it go for the next five minutes. This is why I wanted us to come to the feast instead of Sir Nick’s party,” I whispered.

Harry nodded and swallowed down some pumpkin juice before getting up with the rest of the school and heading out of the Great Hall. Since Hogwarts was constantly moving, the current quickest way to the dungeons involved going to the second floor, walking through several corridors and then taking the stairs straight down to the dungeons. That meant that the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs walked up with the rest of the school and the entire student body emerged into the main hallway of the second floor to the shocking scene. Written in blood was the message:

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR BEWARE!

“What’s that thing- hanging underneath?” Ron asked with a quiver in his voice.

“It’s Mrs. Norris, Filch’s cat,” Hermione said in realization.

Maggie let out a scared sob and buried her head into my side, wrapping her arms around my waist. My big sister instincts kicked in and I started rubbing her back as Luna and several of the other first years clustered around us. Flashes of light indicated that Colin was taking plenty of pictures.

“Enemies of the Heir, beware! You’ll be next, Mudbloods,” Malfoy shouted from where he had pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

Susan Bones threw a piece of pie from the feast at him saying, “Shut up Malfoy.”

“My father will hear about this,” Malfoy said before retreating into the crowd and the cover it provided, pumpkin pie dripping off his face.

“What’s going on here? What’s going on?” Filch asked, pushing his way through the crowd. He stumbled back with horror and rage when he saw Mrs. Norris. “My cat. You brats murdered my cat. You’ve killed her! I’ll kill all of you! I’ll-”

“What is going on?” Dumbledore asked as he arrived with the rest of the teachers. He took in the scene and his face blanched. A click and a flash told me that Colin got it on camera.

“Come with me Argus,” Dumbledore said. “Minerva, Pomona, Filius, Severus, escort your students back to their common rooms.”

A decent amount of the first years who were clinging on to me continued to Ravenclaw Tower despite being in other houses. Oh well, I would deal with that later. As soon as Flitwick shut the door behind her to go meet up with the other teachers, the room erupted into pandemonium.

“EVERYBODY, BE QUIET!” I yelled, standing on top of a coffee table. “I have hot cocoa with a calming draught in it. Anybody who wants some please form a line, I have enough for everybody. Once everyone who wants a cup has got one, then I will tell you everything I know about the Chamber of Secrets.”

With the promise of free hot cocoa and information, the mob of headless chickens immediately formed a line. Hermione and I filled up mugs we borrowed from the kitchen with hot cocoa from my thermos. I had added a refilling charm so that we didn’t run out.

A half of an hour later, the majority of the House was seated with mugs of hot cocoa, including all of the extra first years. I explained everything about the myth of Slytherin’s monster and how it would kill you if you looked directly at it and petrify you if you saw it in a camera or mirror. I added that I would have protective glasses available in a few days before suggesting everyone go to bed as it was after midnight.

I asked Mipsy, one of the Hogwarts house elves, to take the first years back to their houses, told my friends that I couldn’t tell them anymore than I already had without messing up the timeline and headed up to my dorm.

Chapter Text

The next few days had the Hogwarts rumour mill working overtime. Everyone was constantly talking about various theories about who could be behind it, saying that there had been another attack, or that the ministry was going to shut down the school. Considering that I had said the real Chamber of Secrets had been opened, nobody believed it was a prank. Students that I had never even met were coming up to me and asking me what I knew. Apparently the rumours that I was a Seer had spread to the whole school.

Thanks to frequent chats with Lavender, I knew that everybody was afraid and uncertain and the lack of an official announcement had everybody worried. That changed when a week after Halloween, a half dozen owls flew down carrying a package and landed in front of me.

“Ah, about time. International shipping is such a pain,” I said as I sliced open the wrapping with my pocket knife. I climbed up on the Ravenclaw Tower and cast a Sonorus on myself.

“Attention Hogwarts! I have protective glasses that will protect you from Slytherin’s monster. If it attacks you while wearing these you will be petrified instead of killed and will be awakened at the end of the year once the mandrakes have matured. I am giving these out free of charge. I have fifty right now, more will be arriving soon. I have forty are available for distribution. First years get priority, then second years. Please come and see me if you want one. Thank you for your time,” I said, jumping off the table.

“Do they work?” Ginny asked.

“Yeah. Hold on a sec. I have ten extra ones for you kids,” I said, right before getting swarmed by a crowd.

Ten frantic minutes later and all of the first years and a good chunk of the second years had protective glasses.

“So not to sound needy, but Ginny said we had dibs on your reserved ones?” Maggie asked.

“Where did you hear ‘dibs’?” I asked distractedly.

“You’ve said it a couple of times. I pay attention to things,” Maggie replied with a shrug.

“Right, yeah. Here you go,” I said, handing a pair of glasses to Maggie, Luna, Ginny, Neville, Fred, George, Harry, Ron and Hermione. “With these the monster will petrify you and you’ll just wake up in a few months as opposed to dying.”

“Awesome!” Ginny said.

“I’m going to embellish them,” Luna declared, looking at her glasses.

“Have fun with that. Colin, you got the photos?” I asked.

“Yeah, Fred and George helped me print them out after I told them you hired me. Got plenty of pictures for you. Let me know what you think,” Colin said, handing me an envelope. I opened them and flipped through the photos before handing him a bag of galleons.

“These are brilliant. And here is your money, as promised. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to get to,” I said, grabbing a roll off the table and getting up.

“At least tell me you aren’t planning on doing anything illegal,” Hermione said in a resigned tone.

“Nah, just breaking school rules with a side of blackmail. I won't get caught, don't worry,” I replied with a grin. Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Thanks boys,” I said as I grabbed a piece of parchment from Fred and George down the table.

A half of an hour later I was walking into the Hog’s Head and up to a private room that I had reserved ahead of time.

“Ms. Skeeter, thank you for meeting with me,” I said, sitting down at the table and pouring myself a cup of tea.

“Of course,” Rita said. “You said you had a juicy enough scoop that would make coming to this- place worth it.”

“Indeed. Did you know that the penalty for becoming an illegal animagus is up to 10,000 galleons?” I had been very relieved to find out the punishment was not an Azkaban sentence considering my plans for this summer. “Of course, if you use your animagus form to commit crimes such as trespassing, invading people’s privacy and then reporting on it, you could be looking at up to 10 years in Azkaban. Not to mention being blacklisted from ever working in the media.”

It was very amusing to watch Rita’s eyes bulge out in horror that I had discovered her secret.

“Given the fact that you didn’t alert the DMLE, you clearly want something. What?” she asked.

“I want you to work for me. I don’t want you to write any character assassinations against me or any of my friends. A splash of slander against Dumbledore is fine of course, it’s very entertaining to see someone call him out on his flaws. If I need an article written, then I will let you know. I promise that there will be plenty of eye-grabbing gossip for you to report on. I’ll also pay you for the articles, of course,” I said. “Any questions?”

“How much per article?” Rita asked, regaining her composure.

“100 galleons,” I replied. She nodded although I could see an eager gleam in her eye.

“And who are all of you friends who you don’t want me smearing?”

“Harry Potter, the Weasley family, actually you shouldn’t write anything about children without parental permission, there are laws against that. And make sure your stories are true with evidence to back them up,” I told her.

“Is there something you have for me to write about now?”

“Indeed I do,” I said, smiling as I leaned back in my seat.

After an hour of conversation with Rita, I emerged onto the main street of Hogsmeade and walked into Honeydukes. I completed my regular routine of buying a few pieces of candy, ducking into the hallway leading to the bathroom, Disillusioning myself and sneaking into the cellar to walk back to Hogwarts.

On Monday, the owls swept in during breakfast like normal. Several owls carrying the Daily Prophet landed in front of students with subscriptions, including myself. I looked at the front page and was not disappointed.

ATTACK AT HOGWARTS
By Rita Skeeter

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened! The Chamber of Secrets is a mythical chamber that was supposedly built by Salazar Slytherin. It is said to contain a horriffic monster that would murder all those of muggle heritage and can only be called upon by the Heir of Slytherin. While the part about being controlled by the Heir is true, the rest is exaggerated. Slytherin’s monster was meant to protect wizarding students from muggles who wanted to kill them. Quite understandable, considering the witch hunts that went on at the time.

Fifty years ago, the Chamber was opened by a halfblood Slytherin Prefect by the name of Tom Riddle. Riddle would later go on to discard his birth name and terrorize Britain as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Riddle set the monster loose, petrifying several students and killing a Ravenclaw student named Myrtle Warren. Some may know her better as Moaning Myrtle, the ghost that haunts the girl’s second floor bathroom. After Myrtle’s death, Hogwarts was going to be closed so Riddle framed a third-year Hufflepuff who was keeping an acromantula against the rules. The Hufflepuff student was expelled and his wand snapped, while Riddle gained an award.

This Halloween, students left the annual feast to discover a terrifying scene. Written, on the wall in blood was the message ‘The Chamber has been Opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware!’ Next to the message was the caretaker’s cat, who was found petrified.

This raises many alarming questions. Is there another Heir of Slytherin? Or is You-Know-Who not as dead as everybody believes? For more on Tom Riddle, see Page 2. For more on The Chamber of Secrets, see Page 5.

There were two pictures right beneath the headline. One showed the message on the wall and the petrified Mrs. Norris. The other showed Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers looking very shocked. Underneath that in small print was ‘Photographed by Colin Creevey’.

“A halfblood!?! My father will hear about this!” a shout came from the Slytherin table. Unsurprisingly, it was Malfoy. Several Slytherin students sported expressions ranging from horror to disbelief to confusion.

Up at the Head Table, the teachers were also looking shocked. Dumbledore was looking at me over his glasses. I gave him a wave with a giant grin.

“Did you do this?” Hermione asked, looking at my paper.

“Why do you assume that I had anything to do with this?” I asked.

“You’re wearing that smile that you always do when your plans are working,” Hermione said.

“Okay, that’s fair. Yeah, I have some dirt on Rita, so she’s writing stories for me,” I said.

“Be careful, blackmailing people can be dangerous,” Hermione warned.

“Don’t worry, I’m paying her super well and most of the stories I plan to have her run will be very exciting and dramatic pieces,” I assured my friend. “She didn’t seem likely to want to get revenge.”

“Exciting and dramatic pieces? That bodes well for our future,” Ron said.

“Don’t worry, none of us die permanently” I said.

“How can one die temporarily?” Hermione asked.

“You’ll see,” I said with a secretive smirk. “Anyway, we should probably get to class. The Tongue Twister Hex on Lockhart will be kicking in now.”

Chapter Text

Over the next few weeks, we saw a stream of spiders leaving the castle, which Ron freaked out about. I spent a lot of time in the library room of my trunk reading up on illegal defense spells to avoid the panicking masses of the school. The four of us visited Myrtle’s bathroom to ask if she saw anybody the night of the attack and had no luck there

I got two more shipments of my safety glasses (I really needed to come up with a better name). Over half of the school had a pair and most people wore them to and from classes, if not while in class. The older Slytherins had been reluctant to use the glasses at first, not believing that I didn’t want a favor in return despite my insistence. Eventually, I told the more hesitant ones that they could give me a cake in exchange and I’d call it even, which they happily accepted. I put the cakes out in the Ravenclaw common room and they were eaten very quickly.

I heard from Violet, one of the portraits, who heard it from one of the previous Headmasters that hung in Dumbledore’s office that Amelia Bones, the Head of the DMLE had come to Hogwarts and met with Dumbeldore in response to public pressure surrounding the Chamber of Secrets. Ultimately she concluded that there was no hard evidence that it was opened and could have been a malicious prank. She left with Dumbledore’s promise that he would inform her immediately if anything else happened.

Meanwhile, the knowledge that Voldemort was Tom Riddle stunned wizarding society. Rumour said that the Minister summoned Dumbledore to verify this fact before the Ministry put out an official statement that the rumours were true and they had chosen not to reveal it to the public for some bullshit reason that nobody believed.

Andromeda sent Harry and I a letter asking me to confirm that the story was true and updating us on how the upper-echelons of society were reacting. A Wizengamont meeting had been called, and while it wasn’t explicitly stated, it was about the chaos caused by the article.

Mundungus kept me well informed of the opinion of the underbelly of the Wizarding World.

“Tha’ thing is, nobody in Knockturn really cares tha’ You-Know-Who is a halfblood. Only them fancy rich people care about that blood purity stuff,” Mundungus said to me as we sat in a booth at the Hog’s Head. “Still its all everybodys been talking about. All them stuffy pureblood lords bowin’ to a halfblood. It’s bloody hilarious.”

“And what about the pureblood Death Eaters themselves?” I asked, taking a sip of my butterbeer. I preferred meeting in the Hog’s Head to a dark alleyway as it was more civilized and Dung was fine with it considering I would pay for his ale.

“They’re keeping to themselves. I heard that Malfoy stormed the ministry and demanded a meetin’ with the Minister as soon as he saw that article. Since then, he hasn’ been heard from, pretty rare considering he loves stickin’ his nose in everybody's business. Some of the pureblood lords even didn’t show up to that Wizengamont session a few days ago cause they were too embarrassed,” Dung said.

“And how did the Wizengamont session go?” I asked.

“Well, they all debated about whether or not You-Know-Who was still out there. Dumbledore confirmed that You-Know-Who was currently in a wraith form and had tried to infiltrate Hogwarts las’ year. That really upset people, especially given he didn’ tell anybody. Word has it that he didn’ want to tell the Wizengamont. I think you forced his hand, assuming you had something to do with that article. After lots of debating, they gave the Auror department extra money an’ told ‘em to double their department.”

“That’s good. Anything else?” I asked.

“Well even though the Ministry is tellin’ everybody tha’ they have everythin’ under control and You-Know-Who is dead, not many people believe ‘em. People are panicking. It’s great for sales. And nobody’s even searching Knockturn considering they are too busy with training new Aurors and Hit Wizards.”

“Okay, thanks a lot,” I said, handing Dung a bag of galleons. “Owl me if anything else important happens.”

“‘Course,” he said, too busy counting out the gold coins.

I took the floo from the Hog’s Head to the Leaky Cauldron and after ordering an egg potato salad to go, stepped out onto the brick road of Diagon Alley. My first stop was Eyelop’s Owl Emporium, where I wanted to purchase an owl. So far, I borrowed Hedwig or used the Hogsmeade Post Office, but I definitely needed one of my own.

The shopkeeper was very helpful with helping me choose an owl. I eventually decided on a Great Gray Owl, which I named Athena after the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy whose symbol was an owl. For a fee, I arranged for Athena to be held at the shop while I completed the rest of my shopping.

After that, I ducked into Gambol and Japes to restock my pranking supplies. Mr. Gambol was also very helpful in answering my questions about creating a timed glitter bomb. Then I went to Flourish and Blotts to pick up a few books on Magical History and another fictional adventure book as well as a few blank notebooks. You could never have enough notebooks.

Next stop was the apothecary, where I purchased the necessary ingredients for a batch of Polyjuice Potion. As fun as it would be, I would prefer not to have to break into Snape’s private stores.

Finally, I went to the intersection of Knockturn Alley and Forma Alley where Twilfit and Tattings was located, where I purchased a plum robe with a silver belt around the waist and a delightful amount of pockets on the inside of the robe. The store was definitely on the more formal side, but the lady that owned it understood the importance of pockets in women’s clothing, making it one of my favorite stores.

By now it was around four o’clock, so I went to Eyelops to pick up Athena, then flooed to the Three Broomsticks, went to Honeydukes and began the walk back to Hogwarts.

“Where have you been? And is that an owl?” Hermione asked, looking up from her book as I walked into the Ravenclaw common room.

“Yeah, I just got her. Her name’s Athena,” I said.

“After the goddess?” Hermione, who shared my love of Greek Mythology asked.

“Yeah, what do you think?”

“She’s beautiful,” Hermione said, stroking her feathers.

“Thanks. Where are the boys?”

“The three of them got roped into helping Ginny, Maggie and Luna with their homework,” Hermione said.

“Cool. I’m going to show Athena the Owlery but then I think I’ll join them.”

I walked on the grounds towards the Owlery with Athena flying overhead, taking in the beautiful Scotland view. I introduced her to Hedwig and then headed to the Library to find my friends. They studied for a little while longer while I played on my phone, as I had already finished all of my homework before we headed to dinner.

“Hey Luna?” I asked as the two of us lagged behind the others.

“Yes?”

“Are your classmates giving you any trouble? Bullying you because of your unique talents or anything?” I asked.

“No. They did in the first week or two but then it became pretty clear that I was under your protection and they didn’t want to risk upsetting you. They mainly leave me alone and are polite if I talk to them,” Luna assured me.

“Good. If anybody bugs you, let me know alright?”

“Okay,” Luna replied before skipping ahead and linking her arm with Ginny’s. They were so cute together!

Chapter Text

That evening, Harry, Hermione, Ron and I sat on couches in our favorite room in the ROR. I worked on crocheting a large blue and bronze covered blanket while my friends discussed the Chamber of Secrets.

“Who can it be, though?” she said in a quiet voice, as though continuing a conversation they had just been having. “Who’d want to frighten all the Squibs and Muggle-borns out of Hogwarts?”

“Let’s think,” said Ron in mock puzzlement. “Who do we know who thinks Muggle-borns are scum?”

He looked at Hermione. Hermione looked back, unconvinced, “If you’re talking about Malfoy-”

“Of course I am!” said Ron. “You heard him. ‘You’ll be next, Mudbloods!’. Come on, you’ve only got to look at his foul rat face to know it’s him-”

“Malfoy, the Heir of Slytherin?” said Hermione skeptically. "I mean, isn't it Voldemort behind this?"

“Well Voldemort did it last time and Malfoy's family are Death Eaters,” said Harry, closing his books, too. “The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin; he’s always boasting about it. And if Malfoy's dad was friends with Voldemort, he might have been involved.”

“So Lucius Malfoy must’ve helped You-Know-Who open the Chamber when he was at school here and now he’s told dear old Draco how to do it," Ron said.

“No. The Chamber was opened fifty years ago, the timing doesn’t match up. But Axabras Malfoy, who is Lucius Malfoy’s father, and was a Death Eater, was at Hogwarts during that time and was part of the first group of Death Eaters,” I told them.

“So Axabras helped opened the Chamber, passed the knowledge on to Lucius who in turn told Draco and he opened the Chamber,” Hermione concluded.

I gave a noncommittal shrug.

“But how do we prove it?” said Harry darkly. “Zo, I don’t suppose you can give us any hints?”

“No, but Hermione has a brilliant idea,” I said eagerly.

“There might be a way,” said Hermione slowly, dropping her voice still further with a quick glance across the room at Percy. “Of course, it would be difficult. And dangerous, very dangerous. We’d be breaking about fifty school rules, I expect-”

“If, in a month or so, you feel like explaining, you will let us know, won’t you?” said Ron irritably.

“All right,” said Hermione coldly. “What we’d need to do is to get inside the Slytherin common room and ask Malfoy a few questions without him realizing it’s us.”

“But that’s impossible,” Harry said as Ron laughed.

“No, it’s not,” said Hermione. “All we’d need would be some Polyjuice Potion.”

“What’s that?” said Ron and Harry together.

“Snape mentioned it in class a few weeks ago-”

“D’you think we’ve got nothing better to do in Potions than listen to Snape?” muttered Ron.

“It transforms you into somebody else. Think about it! We could change into three of the Slytherins. No one would know it was us. Malfoy would probably tell us anything. He’s probably boasting about it in the Slytherin common room right now, if only we could hear him.”

“This Polyjuice stuff sounds a bit dodgy to me,” said Ron, frowning. “What if we were stuck looking like three of the Slytherins forever?”

“It wears off after a while,” said Hermione, waving her hand impatiently. “But getting hold of the recipe will be very difficult. Snape said it was in a book called Moste Potente Potions and it’s bound to be in the Restricted Section of the library.”

“We would need a teacher’s signature. I could forge it, but Madam Pince is likely to check with the teacher. The restricted section is mainly for the upper years,” I said.

“Hard to see why we’d want the book, really,” said Ron, “if we weren’t going to try and make one of the potions.”

“I think,” said Hermione, “that if we made it sound as though we were just interested in the theory, we might stand a chance. . .”

“Oh, come on, no teacher’s going to fall for that,” said Ron. “They’d have to be really thick. . .”

“Exactly,” I smiled.

The aforementioned thick teacher’s classes were surprisingly bearable. The first couple of weeks, he had done dramatic reenactments from his books, but a few vague threats later (“Really Hermione, I was twirling my dagger while smiling at him. Not my fault Lockhart wet his pants”), and he simply told us to read one of his books and be quiet while he sat and answered his fan mail or tried to get rid of whatever the current prank that was being played on him.

However, as long as nobody had to go to the Hospital Wing, Lockhart didn’t really care what we did. Everybody treated DADA the same as History of Magic classes. Most people either took naps or played Exploding Snap while the more scholarly students such as Hermione and I did homework for other classes or self studied for defense. Best yet, Lockhart didn’t give out tests and if he did assign homework, it was to research some spell and didn’t check if we did or not. All in all, lots of kids enjoyed his classes, or lack thereof.

After class, I left the classroom and waited outside. Hermione had suggested that I not be there while she buttered Lockhart up enough to get his signature as he was slightly terrified of me.

“I don’t believe it,” Harry said as the three of them joined me in the hallway “He didn’t even look at the book we wanted.”

“That’s because he’s a brainless git,” said Ron. “But who cares, we’ve got what we needed.”

We walked to the library in a hurry, while trying not to seem like we were in a hurry. Luckily, most people didn’t care or just wanted to get out of the way before they were caught in one of our pranks. Madam Pince was highly suspicious of the note, but ultimately couldn’t find any fault with it as she handed over the book.

We hurried to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom and I bribed Myrtle to let us use her bathroom with the story of how the Bloody Baron and the Gray Lady died. We sat down and began paging through the book of gruesome potions. I made sure to take plenty of photos of all the potions for future reference.

“Here it is. This is the most complicated potion I’ve ever seen,” said Hermione as they scanned the recipe. “Lacewing flies, leeches, fluxweed, and knotgrass,” she murmured, running her Anger down the list of ingredients. “Well, they’re easy enough, they’re in the student store-cupboard, we can help ourselves. Oooh, look, powdered horn of a bicorn, don’t know where we’re going to get that, shredded skin of a boomslang, that’ll be tricky, too and of course a bit of whoever we want to change into.”

“Excuse me?” said Ron sharply. “What d’you mean, a bit of whoever we’re changing into? I’m drinking nothing with Crabbe’s toenails in it -”

“We don’t have to worry about that yet, though, because we add those bits last… ” Hermione muttered to herself.

“I have the harder to get ingredients and we will just need a piece of hair for the potion,” I reassured Hermione. I reached into my sidebag and rummaged around for a few moments before pulling out a mini-fridge.

“You keep a mini-fridge in your sidebag?” Hermione asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, here is your stuff,” I said, pulling out a few containers of potions ingredients and a Coca-Cola. “Soda, anybody?”

“Thanks,” Ron said, grabbing one.

“Make sure to shake it up really well before drinking it. It helps to mix the flavors,” I said. Hermione and Harry gave me looks of exasperation and amusement respectively but said nothing. Ron, with a complete lack of common sense typical for wizards shook the drink up really well and opened the lid.

Bubbly soda sprayed everywhere, coating Ron with sticky sweet liquid. Harry and I burst out laughing while Hermione looked on in a mix of amusement and annoyance.

“Zo!”

“Sorry,” I said, spelling the soda off of him.

“Ugh. How long will the potion take anyway?” Ron asked.

“Well, since the fluxweed has got to be picked at the full moon and the lacewings have got to be stewed for twenty-one days ... I’d say it’d be ready in about a month, if we can get all the ingredients.”

“A month?” said Ron. “Malfoy could have attacked half the Muggle- borns in the school by then!” But Hermione’s eyes narrowed dangerously again, and he added swiftly, “But it’s the best plan we’ve got, so full steam ahead, I say.”

However, while Hermione was checking that the coast was clear for them to leave the bathroom, Ron muttered to Harry, “It’ll be a lot less hassle if you can just knock Malfoy off his broom tomorrow. Or if Zo poisons his food.”

“Don't be ridiculous. He's a child, I'd give him a sleeping potion, not poison him,” I said.

Chapter Text

Saturday morning, Hermione woke me up and we ate breakfast and headed out to the Quidditch stands along with everybody else. After applying warming charms to myself and all of my friends, Luna, Maggie and I sat and read through a bunch of Harry’s mail that he had asked me to deal with. One side effect of the wards around Privet Drive falling was that anybody could send him letters. They were a major annoyance due to the sheer amount and I had conscripted the two younger girls to help me out, Ginny being too busy paying attention to the game.

The vast majority were letters from random people panicking about You-Know-Who potentially returning and asking Harry to deal with it. These letters got put into a stack for Luna and Maggie to reply to with pre-written letters saying that Harry was only twelve years old and that he believed that the DMLE could take care of any threats that may arise. The second stack was for letters that were important and Harry should read (mainly updates from Andromeda) and the third stack was letters from children all around Britain that Harry enjoyed writing personalized notes to.

“People are really freaked out about Voldemort not being dead and the Ministry is being absolutely useless as normal. So, they’re turning to Harry for answers. It’s getting pretty annoying,” Maggie said. “Oh no, you look like you have an idea.”

“Nothing bad,” I assured her before turning to Luna. “How would the Quibbler feel about an interview with Harry Potter about everything that happened last year regarding Voldemort?”

“Daddy would like the publication. If Harry says so, then I’ll owl him about setting up an interview.”

“Brilliant. You could conduct the interview here if you want and mail it to your dad,” I suggested. “And Colin could take pictures.”

“Um, girls? We have a problem,” Ginny said, not taking her eyes off of the game that she was watching through a pair of binoculars that she had stolen from the twins.

“Ah yes, the brownie ball,” Luna agreed. Brownies were what Luna called house elves. She had explained to me that house elves were descended from brownies the same way humans were descended from apes.

“I don’t know about any brownies, but that bludger has definitely been tampered with. “Do you think it is the Slytherins?” Hermione asked.

“It would be pretty hard. Hooch keeps them locked up pretty tight and they are nearly impossible to tamper with. My brothers tried,” said Ginny.

“Is it You-Know-Who?” Neville asked fearfully, leaning over to talk to us.

“No,” I said, watching as Harry looped around and around, dodging the bludger. “What do you think of spelling the escalator to Dumbledore’s office to play ‘We’re Off To See the Wizard’ from Wizard of Oz?”

“Good idea!” Maggie said.

“Zo, focus!” Hermione exclaimed.

“They’re calling a timeout!” Ginny said.

“Hopefully, they will get a new bludger out of storage,” Neville added.

“That would be the sensible thing to do, but it appears otherwise. They have started playing again,” Maggie said.

“He’s spotted the snitch!” Ginny said. “Oh no.”

The bludger had just slammed into Harry’s arm with an audible crack that we could hear from the stands.

“Fuck, that’s got to hurt,” Maggie said.

“He’s got it,” Neville said. “And he’s crashing into the ground.”

“Let’s go,” I said. We all got up and made our way to the stairs as Lee loudly proclaimed Ravenclaw’s victory.

Despite the game being over, the bludger continued to hurl itself into the sand in an attempt to get at Harry, who was rolling out of the way each time.

“Finite Incantato,” Hermione exclaimed, pointing her wand at the bludger. It exploded in a shower of sparks that proceeded to rain down upon us.

We rushed over to him, arriving before the incopetent idiots that were our teachers.

“Not to worry Harry, I’ll have you fixed up in no time at all,” Lockhart boasted, withdrawing his wand.

“Oh, no, not you,” he moaned. “Anybody but you,”

“Doesn’t know what he’s saying,” said Lockhart loudly. “Not to worry, Harry. I’m about to fix your arm.”

“No!” said Harry, who was attempting to sit up. “I’ll keep it like this, thanks...”

“Lie back, Harry,” said Lockhart soothingly. “It’s a simple charm I’ve used countless times-”

“Like hell you will!” I exclaimed. “Harry said he doesn’t want you casting spells on him and that’s that.”

Lockhart ignored me and intoned “Brackium emendo.”

Harry’s arm went limp and floppy. He grabbed it with his good arm and bent it all the way backwards in horrified fascination.

Lockhart began to sputter about how it was a common mistake, but didn’t get more than a few words out as I decked him in the face. I had put a bit of my magic into the punch and Lockhart went flying backwards a good fifty feet.

“Five points from Ravenclaw,” McGonagall said in an exasperated yet resigned tone. “Why don’t you take Mr. Potter up to Madam Pomfrey and I’ll have some words with Gilderoy.”

I pulled a shrunken chair out of my sidebag, enlarged it and helped Harry sit down. Then I began levitating it up the hill as we all walked along beside him.

“Okay, that was definitely illegal. What do you want to do about it?” I asked Harry. “We could sue and get Lockhart a maximum of a few months in Azkaban or more likely a monetary payout for you. I also have some major dirt on him that could get him around ten years in prison, max of twenty. It’s all up to you.”

“How about not suing, but let Skeeter know and have her publish it in the Prophet that Lockhart attacked me. Also, let’s up the ante on pranking him,” Harry decided. “It’s probably best to keep whatever you have on him in your pocket for now.”

“You could also threaten to sue. Dumbeldore would probably put him on probation if you agreed not to sue,” Maggie suggested as we entered the castle.

“After the petition against Snape last year, he’ll know that you probably would sue and win wouldn’t want the bad publicity of that,” Hermione added.

“That’s brilliant. Can you do that?” Harry asked.

“No problem,” I replied. “I’ll send Athena with a letter for Andromeda tonight, let her know what happened and what we’re doing.”

We arrived at the Hospital Wing. Upon finding out what happened, Pomfrey got very mad at Lockhart and shuffled Harry onto a bed quickly. Ron helped him get changed into pajamas while I wrote up a letter to Andromeda while Hermione, Ginny and Maggie looked over my shoulder. Luna started braiding my hair, as she often did whenever I sat still for longer than a minute.

Madam Pomfrey came back with a cup of Skele-Gro for Harry, “You’re in for a rough night. Regrowing bones is a nasty business.”

“Pinch your nose while you swallow it,” I suggested. “It helps numb the taste.”

Harry did as I told and swallowed it down with a look of pure disgust. I quickly handed him a bottle of apple juice from my bag to help drown out the taste.

Then, the Ravenclaw team burst in to congratulate Harry and we were all promptly shooed out. We made it into the Great Hall for the tail end of dinner and then headed upstairs. I finished my letter to Andromeda, went to the Owlery and sent it off with Athena before spending the rest of the night working on homework with my friends in the common room.

A little while after midnight, I was curled up in an armchair with my pajamas on, reading a book. Most people had gone to bed, but as it was a Saturday night, there were still a decent amount of upper-years that were in the common room. A knock sounded on the entrance to the common room.

"Zo, there's a first year here to see you," Penelope said, opening the door.

I looked up from my book to see Bobby Baker, one of the Gryffindor first years standing nervously in front of me.

“Is everything alright Bobby?” I asked, putting down my book.

“Colin’s not here. He went to go visit Harry in the hospital wing. I spent the evening in my dorm room and just assumed he was down there, but he’s not, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get him in trouble or anything, I didn’t know who else to tell,” he said.

“Shit!” I exclaimed. Colin got petrified tonight, how could I have forgotten?”

“Bobby, you did the right thing in telling me. Generally, I don’t recommend telling prefects when a friend breaks the rule, but this is a rare exception,” I said, getting up and tucking my book into my bag.

“Penelope, there is a first year missing, Colin Creevey. He snuck out to go to the Hospital Wing and visit Harry. He’s in danger, you need to alert the professors,” I told the older girl who was hovering nearby.

“Your seer powers told you?” she asked. Sometimes the rumours about me came in handy.

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’ll go tell McGonagall. You stay here and I’ll keep you updated,” Penelope said as she strode towards the portrait hole.

Normally I would protest, but Bobby looked to be on the verge of breaking down and my big sister instincts were kicking in. I poured him a cup of my Calming Draught laced hot cocoa and began to reassure him that Colin wasn’t dead and he did the right thing.

A half of an hour later, Penelope returned and told me that Colin had been found petrified. Bobby overheard and began crying again. I was quick to reassure him that Colin would be better by the end of term and that it was thanks to him informing me that Colin was found petrified, not dead. Eventually, he calmed down enough for me to convince him to go to bed and Penelope and I escorted him back to Gryffindor Tower.

I went upstairs and wrote a quick letter to Madam Bones, not trusting Dumbledore to take appropriate action and sent it off with Athena. Then, I decided to take my own advice and went to bed, pausing only briefly to write Hermione a note telling her what happened that I left on her nightstand.

Chapter Text

“So, Colin got petrified. Why?”

It was Sunday morning. Ginny, Maggie and Luna had been elected to go and get food for all of us from the Great Hall . They had come back with several plates of food and news that there were several Aurors now at Hogwarts. Meanwhile Fred, George, Neville, Ron, Hermione and I found a room to talk in. Harry, Hermione, Ron and I had decided to keep the room we had claimed in the ROR as our headquarters just to ourselves. Hence why the nine of us were in an abandoned attic that you could only access by entering a secret passageway on the seventh floor, turning left and climbing up a ladder through a trapdoor. I really loved Hogwarts.

“He was sneaking out after curfew to go visit Harry in the hospital wing. I knew he was petrified at some point this year, but didn’t remember the exact date so I didn’t realize he was missing until one of his roommates alerted me. By then it was too late,” I said.

“I’m confused. Did you have a vision of this happening?” Neville asked.

“Oh right, not all of you know. So basically, I’m not a Seer in the traditional sense, like getting visions of the future and stuff. Just like Luna is a Seer who sees things for what they really are and can see people’s auras and Wrackspurts and Nargles and stuff. I am a time traveler.”

“What?” the twins couroused.

“So I was born in the twenty-first century and grew up as a muggle. My favorite books were the Harry Potter series, which is all about Harry’s seven years of Hogwarts and all of you are characters. Except Maggie, you’re not really in the story. So I know all about what happens in regards to the Chamber of Secrets and Lord Moldyshorts and everything because of that. So, in 2020 when I was fifteen years old, I went to sleep on August 31st. Next thing I knew was in my eleven year old body on Platform 9 ¾ and it was 1991 and I had a magic wand with me.

So around the time of the sorting, I began to realize that I wasn't dreaming and this was real. After the feast, I had a chat with Dumbledore. Long story short, I was sent here by Magic herself, which is why I’m better at magic than the average person my age and can do wandless magic and stuff. So my purpose here is to make this timeline better than the OG timeline, where good wins but lots of people die,” I said.

“Wouldn’t that create temporal paradoxes or something? You would do something that affects your future self?” Neville asked.

“In theory yes, but considering I’m in Albion, or Magical Britian, whereas I lived in muggle America before, there isn’t much chance of me messing something up. So as long as Voldemort doesn’t take over the entire planet, I'll be fine,” I said. "Or this might be a parallel dimension."

“So you know what-”
“-Happens in the future?”

“Yes, but before you ask, I can’t just fix everything. Not only would any major changes make my knowledge redundant, but it would also have a ripple effect. Also, major changes could make the world much worse than the original timeline. Basically, time is a river. A few twigs in the river and it doesn’t make that much difference because the river goes around it, but too many twigs and the river overflows and kills all of the fish in it. So, I can make little changes as long as it doesn’t affect the timeline too much, but make too many changes and anything could happen, like in the Cursed Child.”

“Wait what cursed child?” Ginny asked.

“No it’s the title of- forget about it,” I said.

“So what you’re saying is-

“-That you have information-

“-On everybody’s deepest-”

“-Darkest secrets?”

“Yes. For example, Dumbledore and Grindelwald were together, like in a relationship,” I said, sitting back with a smile.

“WHAT?!?”

“Yes. Do what you want with that information, but don’t say you got it from me,” I replied.

“As illuminating as this has been-”

“-I do believe we gathered here-”

“To discuss young Colin and-”

“-The Chamber of Secrets?”

“Yes,” Hermione said, taking control of the conversation. “Zo is really only able to give hints and steer us in the right direction, not outright tell us or it will mess up the timeline too much in unpredictable ways. We do have a few theories and a plan to check-”

“Hi, everybody, I’m alive,” Harry said, pulling himself through the trapdoor and into our attic hideout.

After a round of hugs and everyone saying they were glad Harry had two functioning arms again, he plopped down in one of the conjured armchairs.

“We were just mentioning we have a plan. Our current theory is that it is a creature similar to Medusa from Greek mythology. It would fit with the petrifications as she could turn people to stone and the snake theme of Slytherin. We currently have a plan we are working on to sneak into the Slytherin common room and see what information we can gather,” Hermione explained.

“Speaking of, we should probably get back to our plan. I have something I need to tell you,” Harry said with his usual lack of subtlety.

We quickly made our way to Myrtle’s bathroom. We had somehow decided without discussing it that we would have the bathroom as our secret potion brewing area and keep the ROR as a hangout space. I had made sure to add a few basic compulsion charms so that any teachers or prefects wouldn’t want to come in here.

“Dobby came to visit me. Apparently he was the one who set the bludger on me. But that’s not important. The teachers were discussing the last time the Chamber was opened. Dumbledore was a professor and McGonagall was a prefect at the time, so they both knew a lot and seem to be really scared.”

"We'll complete the potion soon and spy on Malfoy," Ron said determinedly.

We spent the next half-hour or so working on the potion until we were interrupted by Marcus Flint and Oliver Wood, who were practically eating each other’s faces off, barging into the bathroom. I clearly needed to add a ward to keep out horny upperclassmen.

“Uhhhhhh,” they said.

“Uhhhhhh,” we replied.

“What are you doing?” Wood asked as they both tugged their clothes back on.

We were all seated around a highly suspicious bubbling cauldron in the girl’s bathroom. Unfortunately, we all answered with the first thing that came to mind.

“Eating,” Ron said.

“Homework,” said Hermione, who currently had possession of our one shared braincell.

“Illegal potions brewing,” Harry said, not bothering to come up with a lie.

“Research,” I replied without hesitation.

Flint and Wood stared some more. We stared back.

“We never saw you if you never saw us?” Flint proposed.

“Sounds lovely,” I said.

The two Quidditch captains immediately left the bathroom, likely in search of an unused broom closet.

“Wait, wasn’t that the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch Team and the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team? They are together?” Harry said, obliviously.

Chapter Text

HOGWARTS UNDER ATTACK! STUDENT PETRIFIED BY SLYTHERIN’S MONSTER!
By Rita Skeeter

Late Saturday night, first year student Colin Creevey was found petrified in the corridors of Hogwarts. You might recognize his name as he was the photographer who photographed the haunting message announcing that the Chamber of Secrets was opened. Was he attacked in revenge? Sources say he was found with his camera. Was he about to discover the monster?

Young Mr. Creevey is residing in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing under the watchful eye of Healer Pomfrey. Fortunately, he will be able to be cured. Petrification can be reversed with Mandrake Stew. Britain's only crop of Madrakes is at Hogwarts, hence why Mr. Creevey has not been moved to St. Mungo’s. The Mandrakes at Hogwarts will be fully matured and ready for brewing in late May.

Meanwhile, in a surprising display of ministerial competence, the DMLE has taken action against this threat to our nation’s youth. Madam Bones, Head of the DMLE, was alerted to the attack by a concerned student, not by Dumbledore as she should have been. Within a half-hour of hearing of the attack, Madam Bones had a full Auror task force searching Hogwarts up and down for any sign of the Chamber of Secrets. Despite Dumbledore’s negligence you can rest assured that proper steps are being taken to keep the students of Hogwarts safe.

For more about the Chamber of Secrets, see Page 4. For more about the Mandrakes, see Page 6. For more about the DMLE’s actions, see Page 8.

“I take it you were the concerned student who tipped off the DMLE?” Hermione asked me at breakfast Monday morning.

“Well somebody had to,” I replied.

“Everybody is freaked out and not going anywhere without at least two friends,” Ginny said.

“Even with your Gaze Glasses, everybody is worried. Getting Petrified for half the year is nothing to scoff at,” Maggie added.

The protective glasses I had been distributing had been coined “Gaze Glasses” by a Ravenclaw third year and it had quickly caught on. By now, all of the students and most of the teachers had a pair. I had even heard from Mundungus that some of them had made their way outside of the castle and were selling for a lot on the black market, despite the fact that the Chamber was a Hogwarts issue. I sent him five glasses and told him that half of the profits were my cut and to donate that to the White Wyvern’s Youth Lunch Program. It was a pub in Knockturn that gave out free lunches to kids.

I had been approached by several kids asking if I had protective talismans or anything of the sort, as many other Hogwarts students were offering. I told them that the best thing to do was travel in groups, not stay out after curfew and directed them towards Luna, who was giving out lucky butterbeer cork necklaces. I had taken to wearing one whenever I left my dorm.

For once, Harry and Ron didn’t complain about defense training in the Room of Requirement, which we had been doing ever since the end of last year when the others wanted to learn to protect themselves. Both of the boys were quite good at dodging stuff; Ron from growing up with the twins and Harry from a childhood with his abusive relatives. Hermione was skilled at hand-to-hand combat, having taken self-defence classes as a child.

Everybody could tell that the teachers were also worried. McGonagall was teaching us how to transfigure quills, which almost everybody had on hand, into metal shields. Flitwick made sure to demonstrate defensive charms such as Obscuro, which blinded a target, Sonorus, which amplified the target’s voice and could be used to yell for help and Stupefy, the stunning spell. Snape continued to put instructions on the board and not teach anybody, but he lessened his harassment of students and sat at his desk grading essays for the most part. Even Lockhart, told us to find five defensive spells, write a paragraph each on them and then find a partner and tell each other about our spells.

As Christmas came around, the general mood in the castle stayed as depressed and miserable as it had been ever since Halloween.

“Okay, this can’t go on,” I said as we hung out in the ROR. Hermione was helping Ron and Harry with their homework while I sat on a sofa and threw knives at a moving dummy in a death eater mask. Theodore Nott had gotten me the mask in exchange for 50 galleons and no questions asked on where it came from. Nott Sr. would probably be in some hot water when Voldy came back from the dead and he couldn’t find his mask.

“What can’t go on?” Ron asked, grateful for the excuse from his Potions essay.

“This. Everybody is so miserable. It’s December. It’s Christmastime. Even if people don’t celebrate Christmas or Yule, pretty much every religion has a December holiday. The castle should be more festive,” I said.

“So what’s your crazy plan?” Hermione asked, half jokingly.

Two days later, I was standing in front of all of my yearmates in an abandoned classroom on the sixth floor.

“Hi everybody and thanks for coming. There are snacks and drinks on the table,” I said gesturing to a couple boxes of cheese pizza, some candy boxes and sodas. This morning I had flown to the nearest muggle town on my broom.

“Why are we here Hawk?” Malfoy asked.

“Thanks for asking! Most people are pretty miserable and not festive. So, I had an idea to do a Holiday Gift Exchange between our group. For those familiar with Secret Santas, this would be the same thing but a wizarding version. We all put our names in a hat and each draw one out. We would then have to get that person a present. This would help us all get into the Yuletide spirit and promote House Unity. The idea is that we would all get to know each other a little better. What do you think?”

“I love the idea!” Susan Bones said.

“Would we be able to trade?” Tracy Davis asked.

“No, the idea is that we would get somebody outside our house that we don’t know that well and would have to get to know them better.”

“How much would these gifts be? Is this like a pack of Chocolate Frogs or a fancy necklace level gift?” Su Li asked.

“It would be somewhere in between, like a nice scarf, but hopefully more personal. I think we should put a money limit on the gifts so that people can’t get too expensive stuff and everybody’s gifts are in the same price range,” I said.

“That’s a good idea. What about five galleons?” Megan Jones suggested.

“That’s too cheap. I say fifteen galleons. People can always get cheaper stuff if they want to,” Justin Finch-Fletchley said.

“Let’s do ten galleons. It’s a little on the high end, but people can always purchase less expensive gifts or make something themselves,” Daphne Greengrass said firmly.

“Sounds good,” Anthony Goldstein said. A chorus of agreements followed.

“Okay. Let’s all write our names on pieces of paper. Then, we can meet back here on Friday, the 18th of December. That’s the day before the Hogwarts Express leaves for the holidays. We can all exchange gifts,” I said.

“We should have a party. I can arrange the decorations if somebody else wants to do the food,” Daphne Greengrass said.

“I can help with the decoration,” Tracey Davis said.

“I can do the food,” I said. “Are we thinking snacks or full on dinner?”

“How about a dinner buffet so everybody can get plates and mingle with others?” suggested Padma Patil.

“And a dance floor,” said Lavender Brown.

“Can we have whatever this is at the party?” Crabbe asked, gesturing to his plate of pizza.

“That is pizza and we can absolutely have that,” I replied with a grin.

“If this is going to take place during dinner, we should probably let the professors know,” Susan Bones said.

“Then they would insist on us having a professor supervise. We don’t want that,” Lisa Turnpin pointed out.

“We could always kidnap Lockhart and keep him tied up in the corner with a Silencio. That would count as professor supervision,” Tracey Davis suggested.

“While the idea does have merit, the professors would find out and we couldn’t do something like this again. How about I send Dumbledore a howler letting him know. I doubt he will insist on a teacher cause he is pretty lax about student safety, plus we can’t get in trouble if we aren’t breaking any rules and Dumbledore said it was okay,” I said.

“Sounds awesome, but why a howler?” Hannah Abbot asked.

“Dramatic flair,” I replied.

A planning committee quickly formed consisting of Daphne Greengrass, Tracey Davis, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, and I. We had two representatives from each house and at least one person in each house had an owl, which would make communicating easier.

By now, everyone had written their name on a piece of paper. I turned a quill from my bag into a Abe Lincoln style top hat for everybody to put their names in. I wordlessly swirled it in the air and flipped it over a few times to shake up the names before I had everybody form a line.

“Okay, pick a name, get out of the way, then read it. No redraws. Remember, the goal is to get somebody that you don’t know that well,” I said.

All in all, it went well. Nobody had any sudden exclamations of disgust and everybody seemed to find the person they got acceptable.

Afterwards, most people began to slowly trickle out although plenty stayed to chat with those from other houses.

“Okay, this was actually a really good idea,” Hermione said.

“I am suspicious of why Malfoy agreed to this. He must be up to something,” Harry said.

“Well the potion will be done within a few weeks so we can find out,” Hermione said.

“Never mind that, who did you all get?” Ron asked. “ I got Megan Jones. She’s in Hufflepuff.”

“I got Millicent Bulstrode,” I replied.

“I got Goyle. He seems to be mentally disabled and the Wizarding World doesn’t really know about mental disorders so I was thinking of getting him some books to help him study and/or offering to tutor him,” Hermione said.

“I got Zabini,” Harry replied.

“This is really good. It will force us to go out of our comfort zone and stop thinking of Slytherins as enemies!” I said.

Chapter Text

As snow began to cover the grounds, the four of us continued to help spread the Christmas spirit through Hogwarts. We charmed ornaments to start singing both muggle and wizarding carols whenever somebody walked within a ten foot radius and hid them all over the castle. Next we spelled fake snow clouds to follow around every tenth person that left each of the four common rooms. The snow disappeared before it hit the person's shoulders. Finally, we went around and put Santa Claus hats on all of the suits of armor and statues. As our pranks were all harmless the teachers were hesitant to do anything about them, although they couldn’t prove it was us.

As December progressed, most of the castle decided to go home for the holidays out of fear for Slytherin’s monster. However Malfoy decided to stay for the holidays along with his goons. When we heard this, the four of us also signed up to stay for winter break. All of our other friends were going home, or in Maggie’s case, to Luna’s house where she had been invited to spend the holidays.

All ten of my close friends (having friends was still a bit of a novel thought for me) and I decided to meet up in the afternoon the Friday before the day the train left for London to exchange gifts. Those of us in second-year had our class party in the evening and I would be sneaking out to get muggle food during lunch. Dumbledore had already sent me a letter saying that the party sounded like a marvelous idea and a bowl of lemon drops.

“Hey guys, guess what?” Susan said, coming up to us in the Great Hall with Hannah tagging behind her. “They’re starting a duelling club! First meeting is tonight!”

“Cool. Who’s teaching it?” Ron asked.

“No idea,” Hannah replied.

“It might be Flitwick. I heard that he was a duelling champion,” Hermione said.

“So, we’re going then?” Harry asked.

“Probably won’t be harder than self-defense training, but we might learn something,” Hermione said with a shrug.

I chuckled, “I don’t know about that, but it sure will be entertaining.”

“I hope you know how annoying you are when you give us hints about the future but not any context,” Hermione informed me.

“I know. Why do you think I do it?”

At eight o’clock we were gathered along with the majority of the school groaning along with everybody else as Hogwarts’ two least favorite professors came on stage.

Lockhart waved an arm for silence and called “Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent! Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions — for full details, see my published works.”

There were plenty of boos from the crowd and a couple of shouts of “fraud”. Lockhart’s smile diminished a little and he quickly got to the point.

He announced that he and Snape would be doing a demonstrative duel. They bowed to each other, turned back to back, each walked ten steps and assumed dueling stances. It reminded me of the “Ten Commandments” in Hamilton. Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent.

“Expelliarmus!” Snape cried.

There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet. He flew backward off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor.

Most people broke out in applause, pleased to see Lockhart taken down a peg, even if it was by Snape. Lockhart unsteadily got to his feet, made some excuse about how he meant for that to happen and thanked George for returning his wand. He clearly didn’t notice that it was one of the twins’ experimental fake wands.

“Enough demonstrating! I’m going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you’d like to help me,” Lockhart said, swiftly moving through the crowd.

Unfortunately Snape made a beeline for us.

“Weasley, you can partner Finnigan. Mr. Malfoy, come over here. Let’s see what you make of the famous Potter. Hawk, you’re with Greengrass. And you, Miss Granger, you can partner Miss Bulstrode.”

“Daphne,” I said cordially. All of us on the planning committee for the party were on first-name basis with each other.

“Zo,” she replied. “Rules?”

It was undoubtedly a test. Then again, I was hardly surprised. Daphne seemed to be struggling to figure me out. Not many people were willing to give Slytherins a chance.

“No injuries that Madam Pomfrey can’t fix in 48 hours and nothing too illegal,” I replied. She flashed me a smile, seeming to approve of my response.

“Face your partners!” called Lockhart, back on the platform. “And bow!”

We each fell into dueling stances.

“Wands at the ready!” shouted Lockhart. “When I count to three, cast your charms to
disarm your opponents — only to disarm them — we don’t want any accidents — one...
two... three… ”

Daphne attacked first with a Jelly Legs Jinx. I followed up with a stunner and Disarming Charm. She gave me a predatory smile and shot a Stickfast Hex at my feet. I jumped a solid foot in the air to dodge and then had to duck back down again to avoid an Ear-Shrivelling Curse. I retaliated with a Petrificus Totalus.

Vaguely, I heard everyone around me shooting off spells at each other with disastrous results. Nearly all of my focus was on the duel. With the sliver of my brain that wasn’t concentrating on the Rictusempra coming at me, I noticed all the other students clearing out of our way and turning to focus on our duel. The two of us continued with our delightfully dangerous duel. It was like dancing, except much more fun. Both of us were in it to win.

After sidestepping a Furnunculus Curse, I cast a Calvario and then a silent Impedimenta Jinx. Daphne dodged the first but got hit by the second. I immediately pounced on this, using a Flipendo to knock her back a good five feet, disarming her with an Expelliarmus and casting an Incarcerous for good measure.

“Amazing job. Look at that everyone. Some truly spectacular duelling talent by a second year. Let’s give a hand to Miss Hawk!” Lockhart said.

“And Daphne,” I said quickly, silently vanishing the ropes I conjured. “She was an amazing duelling partner.”

“Yes,” Lockhart agreed quickly. “Two highly talented students!”

“You know Hawk, you’re not so bad,” Daphne said.

“Thanks Greengrass,” I replied.

“Let’s have another volunteer pair, Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley?” Lockhart asked.

“A bad idea, Professor Lockhart. Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We’ll be sending what’s left of Finch-Fletchley up to the hospital wing in a matchbox.” Neville’s round face went pink.

“How about Malfoy and Potter?” said Snape with a twisted smile.

“Excellent idea!” said Lockhart, gesturing Harry and Malfoy into the middle of the hall as the crowd backed away to give them room.

“I take it this is what is going to be so entertaining about tonight?” Hermione asked me.

“Yup,” I replied, grabbing the beetle that was in my pocket and perching her on my shoulder. It was never too early to do damage control.

“Hello Zo, Hermione, Rita,” Luna said, appearing at our side. “Ginny wanted to try out her new bat hex and thought the Duelling Club would be a good cover.”

“That beetle on your shoulder is a reporter isn’t it?” Hermione asked in a resigned tone.

“Yup,” I replied.

“Illegal animagus?”

“Yup.”

“Whatever,” Hermione said with a sigh.

We turned our attention to the stage where Malfoy and Harry had finished walking the appropriate distance away from each other and were about to begin their duel.

“Serpensortia!” Malfoy cried.

“Protego maxima,” Harry shouted.

A long black snake burst forth from Malfoy’s wand and slithered between the two boys. Lockhart waved George’s prank wand, it burst into a rubber chicken and he promptly dove into the crowd to hide behind teen and pre-teen children.

“Don’t move Potter. I’ll get rid of it,” Snape said, then proceeded to do absolutely nothing in the hopes that Harry would get himself killed.

The snake was clearly agitated and began turning around in distress. Harry knelt down and began hissing at it. The snake calmed down and approached Harry, curling in a ball in his hand. A few seconds later, it disappeared into smoke as it had been conjured by a twelve year old.

“What the hell?” Flint asked, summing up everyone’s thoughts.

I quickly clambered up onto the stage, cast a Sonorous and turned to face all of my fellow students.

“Listen up everyone. Parseltongue is just a language. Some people are born with a talent for it and yeah the last guy who had it was an evil snake faced jerk but that doesn’t make Parseltongue itself bad. You all are being prejudiced idiots by thinking that a language is evil. You wouldn’t hold it against somebody if they knew French so why is this any different. In fact, it’s super cool. I mean, talking to snakes? Come on people. This is straight out of comic books,” I said.

“For five sickles, I can translate what a snake is saying for you,” Harry said, stepping up beside me. “All proceeds will go to getting the school some halfway decent brooms.”

“Exactly! Also, if people are excessively slandering and/or bullying Harry I will be telling Professor McGonagall, who unlike some teachers currently in attendance, actually cares about the welfare of the student body,” I said, unable to resist getting a few digs in at Snape and Lockhart.

“Let’s go,” I said.

As Hermione, Ron and I formed a circle around Harry and ushered him out of the Great Hall, I made eye contact with Lavender. She nodded and ducked back into the swarm of gossiping students. The beetle on my shoulder flew off to prepare her article.

“You’re a Parselmouth! Why didn’t you tell us?” Ron asked as soon as we got to the ROR.

“I didn’t know I could or that it was such a big deal. I mean, that’s only the second time I’ve ever done it. I accidentally set a boa constrictor on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once because he told me he had never seen Brazil,” Harry said.

“You were speaking Parseltongue. To most people, it just sounds like hissing. For those who have the inherited trait, it sounds like whatever language they speak. Nobody else could understand you back there,” I said.

“Parseltongue is considered a dark ability because Salazar Slytherin had it and most recently, so did Voldemort. Like Zo said, that’s stupid because it’s just a langugage but wizards and aren’t exactly the most sensible people,” Hermione explained.

“And now people might think you are the Heir of Slytherin,” Ron said.

“Hopefully they won’t. Offering to translate what a snake is saying was a really smart move. It will make it seem less scary and unknown. For now, we should go back to Ravenclaw Tower and mingle with others for a bit. Say that you always knew that you could talk to snakes, but didn’t understand why it was just a big deal until just now,” I suggested. “Skeeter is already working on an article. She will probably spin it so you were saving everyone with your Parseltongue abilities.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” Harry said.

Chapter Text

The next day, I woke up to Athena flying into my dorm and dropping a letter on my face. As it was only ten o’clock, I put the letter on my nightstand and went back to sleep. Two hours later, I fully woke up and looked to my side to see a letter from Gringotts along with a copy of the Daily Prophet.

Dear Ms. Hawk,

Please come to Gringotts at your earliest convenience. I would like to discuss with you an issue pertaining to the item that you returned to us earlier this year. Present this letter to a teller and they will escort you to my office.

Sincerely,
Chief Ragnok
Head of the Goblin Nation

I pulled on one of my “lawyer” outfits (a blouse, pants and open robes), did my hair and makeup and walked up to the fourth year Gryffindor boy’s dorm. It was really easy to get the password.

“Hi Zo, what can I do for you?” Lee asked, opening the door just enough to poke his head out.

“Are Fred and George here? I need to borrow something of theirs?” I asked.

“Come on in Zo-”

“-what do you need the-”

“-map for? I thought we were-”

“- your personal shoppers?”

“I have business at Gringotts. Don’t worry, I’ll still pay you an exorbitant amount of money to run errands for me,” I replied.

After collecting the map I headed downstairs and ducked into Myrtle’s bathroom to tell my friends that I was going to Diagon Alley. I briefly ducked into the Great Hall to grab a few muffins and then headed to Hogsmeade. In Hogsmeade, I hailed the Knight Bus and then sat down to eat my muffins and read the newspaper.

As I suspected, Rita’s article focused on how Harry had helped prevent the snake that another student had summoned from attacking. She talked about how Parseltongue was not dangerous by itself, it just had a bad reputation, using many of the same points I did last night.

I got off at the Leaky Cauldron and walked through to Diagon Alley. Tom, the barman not the evil diary, gave me an exasperated look but didn’t say anything. Tom was cool and wouldn’t tell anybody as long as I didn’t ditch classes.

At Gringotts, I went through the routine of waiting several minutes until the goblin teller looked up and saying, “Greetings, Master Goblin. May your gold flow as freely as the blood of your enemies.”

"And yours as well," the goblin replied. "I am Gornok. How may I help you?"

“I have a meeting with Chief Ragnok,” I said, handing over the letter I got.

“You are Zo Hawk?” he asked.

“I am,” I confirmed.

“Very well. Follow me please,” Gornok said. He led me through Gringotts’ halls and to Ragnok’s office.

“Greetings, Chief Ragnok. May your gold flow as freely as the blood of your enemies," I said with a bow of my head as I entered his office.

“And yours as well. Please take a seat Ms. Hawk. Would you like some tea?” he asked.

“Yes please,” I replied.

On Ragnok’s desk sat Hufflepuff’s Cup and Ravenclaw’s Diadem.

“First of all, we located the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff in Bellatrix Lestrange’s vault. As housing a horcrux is a flagrant violation of Gringotts policy, we have seized her vaults as well as those of her husband and brother and law. The horcrux that was residing in the Cup has since been destroyed,” Ragnok said.

“Good.”

“Now, the items of the four founders, Ravenclaw’s Diadem, Hufflepuff’s Cup, Gryffindor’s Sword and Slytherin’s locket were all made as gifts from the Goblin Nation as thanks for securing us what little rights we have in wizarding society. As such, they were not meant to be returned to the Goblin Nation upon their deaths.

“What to do with them has been the subject of much debate over the last six months. Many goblins wanted to keep them and a small fraction wanted to give it over to the Ministry. In the end it was decided to give them back to you as you were the one that found the Diadem and alerted us to the Cup’s location,” Ragnok said.

“Me? Umm, thanks I guess. Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes. Like I said, this has been the subject of much discussion among the Goblin Council. You have proven yourself an ally to the Goblin Nation and made it clear that you do not support many of the ministry’s policies. While you might be in a young body, you are nearly of age and were the one who found them so it has been decided that they are yours to do with as you wish,” Ragnok said.

“Wow. Thank you for your trust. I think I will see about putting them on display at Hogwarts for everyone to see, along with the Sword and Locket once those are located. As there is not a museum in the Wizarding World, I believe that is what the Founders would have wanted,” I decided.

“A wise decision. As you said before, it would be a shame if such valuable artifacts were gathering dust or snatched up by the ministry,” Ragnok said.

“Indeed,” I replied, before a sudden thought occurred to me.

“While I’m here, I would like to see how Gringotts would feel about hypothetically purchasing the corpse of a dead basilisk that I might hypothetically kill later in the school year,” I asked.

“Would this hypothetical basilisk have anything to do with Slytherin’s monster?” Ragnok asked.

“Hypothetically,” I replied.

“How long would the hypothetical basilisk be?”

“60 feet, plus a shed skin around 40 feet,” I said.

“60 feet?!? That would be worth well over a million galleons. And that’s not even including the shed skin,” Ragnok exclaimed.

“Gringotts could hypothetically harvest it to sell at your discretion,” I said.

“What is your price, hypothetically?” Ragnok asked.

“Hypothetically, ten sets of adult duelling robes made out of basilisk skin, five daggers made out of basilisk fangs and a million galleons,” I said.

I could probably ask for a lot more, but it wasn’t like I needed the money. Besides, I really liked the goblins and their no-nonsense attitude. I also felt bad for them, not that I would ever mention it. They had been exploited and forced to sign many, many unfair treaties until they had basically no rights as a nation.

“Deal, hypothetically of course,” Ragnoke said, reaching into his desk and pulling out two long coils of rope. “If you tie these around the middle of the hypothetical basilisk and shed skin, tap it with your wand and say Gringotts, then it will transport them here. Once we have them, then you will receive your money and we will get started on your duelling robes and daggers,” Ragnok said.

“Thank you.”

“Would you like to open a separate vault for the hypothetical money from the hypothetical basilisk sale?”

“Sure, I’d also like 5,000 galleons of that to go to each of the basilisk's victims, I will send you a list of who all that includes after the basilisk has been killed, and 50,000 galleons each to Morgana’s Home, Hogwarts School and St. Mungo's,” I instructed.

“That should be easy enough. None to the ministry, I take it?” Ragnok asked jokingly.

“Ugh no. They have more than enough corrupt politicians bribing them as it is,” I said, pulling a face.

“Very true. I will get you an account manager to handle the basilisk sale and your accounts as soon as possible. Thank you for proposing this mutually beneficial business deal,” Ragnok said.

“And thank you for entrusting to me the Cup and the Diadem,” I replied.

Chapter Text

“Attention Hogwarts!”

It was Monday, the day after I had gone to Gringotts. I was standing on top of the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall. All of the students were looking up from their breakfasts in anticipation for whatever I was about to do next. All of the teachers were looking at me in trepidation. I pretended not to notice as Madam Pomfrey passed Professor McGonagall a Headache Reliever.

“After a long and tireless search, traveling everywhere from the jungles of the Amazon to the Sahara Desert to the belly of a whale, I have found two prized Hogwarts heirlooms. Without further ado, I present to you freshly the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff and the Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw!” I exclaimed, pulling the two from my sidebag.

There was a mixture of gasps, applause, confused questions from muggleborn firsties and “what the fuck?”s from the crowd. Hermione facepalmed. Flitwick fainted off his chair. Dumbledore looked like he wanted to grab McGonagall’s Headache Reliever. Snape looked like he wanted to murder me painfully, although he always looked like that when I was around. Sprout appeared to be frozen in shock. The only people who didn’t look surprised were my friends, although that was probably because we had done a photoshoot with the Diadem yesterday.

“Attention students. Classes have been cancelled for this morning. Ms. Hawk, please come to my office,” Dumbledore said. Pomfrey wordlessly handed him a Headache Reliever.

“Don’t worry, they’ve been de-hocruxed,” I said as soon as I entered Dumbledore’s office. He, along with the other heads of house, were already there. Snape and McGonagall paled drastically while Sprout and Flitwick, who probably didn’t know what horcruxes were, looked confused. Dumbledore looked as perfectly serene as ever.

“And how did you manage such a feat without destroying the container?” Dumbledore asked.

“The goblins are awesome and we bonded over our mutual hatred of the ministry and wizardkind in general,” I explained.

“And where did you find the Cup and Diadem?” Dumbledore asked, eyes twinkling.

“Well, the Cup was in Bellatrix Lestrange’s vault-”

All four teachers choked on air.

“-and the Diadem was here at Hogwarts. I found it while exploring.”

“And I presume you intend to return them to Hogwarts?”

“Yeah. Since there’s not a Wixen museum or anything, I thought it would be easy enough to convert an unused classroom into a room to display the Cup and the Diadem along with the Sword and the Locket,” I said. "Along with the caveat that if a Wixen museum were to be created, the Founders' Artifacts would go there."

“The Sword and the Locket have been missing for centuries,” Dumbledore pointed out.

“I’ll find them before I graduate Hogwarts,” I replied.

“Very well, that should be easy enough to arrange,” Dumbledore agreed.

“I’m sorry, what is going on? Are those the real Cup and Diadem? What did you mean by de-horcruxed? And what do the goblins have to do with this?” McGonagall burst in, not understanding half of my conversation with Dumbledore.

“So Voldemort found the Cup and the Diadem, turned them into Horcruxes, that’s how he survived the power of Harry’s adorable baby eyes by the way. I found the Diadem at Hogwarts, gave it to the goblins to get rid of the horcrux and said they could keep it because goblins rightfully own any items they sell after the person who purchases them passes away. However, the Goblin Nation gave all four artefacts as a gift to the founders, meaning it belonged to whoever they willed it to, so they gave me the Diadem, along with the Cup which they found in Lestrange’s vault, because I found them,” I explained.

“I can’t believe the Diadem has finally been located,” Flitwick said, teary-eyed. "Thank you so much Miss Hawk."

“Yes. The Cup has only been missing for several decades, but it is still wonderful to have it returned to Hogwarts,” Sprout added.

“Precisely,” I said.

“So Dumbledore, here you go. I’ll let you handle finding a room, making informative plaques and stuff while I go tip off the Prophet,” I said, giving a wave and walking out of the room.

“Did you get all of that?” I asked. The beetle in my hair buzzed twice and flew off.

Upon re-entering the Great Hall, I was swamped by students asking me questions. “Yes, those were the real Cup and Diadem. No, I will not be answering any other questions, I want to eat breakfast. Once I’m done with breakfast, I will tell Lavender Brown everything and you can pester her for information all day long,” I said.

Lavender beamed at me and wisely left me alone as I sat down next to my friends with a plate of scrambled eggs and fried potatoes. She loved being the first to hear about whatever crazy stunts I had done.

“You know, I’ve given up being surprised when you do crazy things like this, but every now and then, you still manage to shock me,” Hermione said.

“I do try my hardest,” I said sincerely.

After I finished eating, I went to the Gryffindor Table gave a dramatic yet true retelling to my friends, Lavender and another dozen Gryffindors who were eavesdropping and completely failing to be subtle about it, “The Cup was in the treasure horde of a Ukrainian Ironbelly that lived deep under the ground. The Diadem I found in a room of endless junk that had slipped through the cracks of the world and fallen into a dimension outside of the laws of nature. After my harrowing journey to recover these items, I returned them to Hogwarts and will continue to search for the Sword and the Locket although it is up to Magic itself whether I shall succeed or perish,” I said grandly. “Also, please pass the sugar.”

Hermione understood that I meant that the Cup was in a Gringotts vault so secure it was guarded by a dragon and the Diadem was in the ROR and quietly informed Ron and Harry of this. Meanwhile Lavender was quick to inform the entire Great Hall of what I said and I had already heard two wildly exaggerated versions that weren’t even close to the truth.

RAVENCLAW’S DIADEM AND HUFFLEPUFF’S CUP RETURNED TO HOGWARTS!

By Rita Skeeter

As anyone who has read Hogwarts: A History knows, the Four Founders of Hogwarts, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin each had special items that were given to them by the Goblin Nation. Gryffindor had a sword, Hufflepuff had a cup, Ravenclaw had a diadem and Slytherin had a locket. All four of these have been lost to history, the most recent one seen was Hufflepuff’s Cup over 50 years ago.

Now, the Diadem and Cup have been returned to Hogwarts. They were found by second-year Zo Hawk, who is known for killing a troll and helping Harry Potter defeat Voldemort and save the school last year. Ms. Hawk said that she found the Cup in “The treasure horde of a dragon” and found the Diadem in “A dimension outside of the laws of nature”, no doubt referring to WizardSpace, commonly used to form pocket dimensions in areas such as Diagon Alley and St. Mungo’s. Ms. Hawk went on to say that she plans to attempt to locate the Sword and the Locket, or die trying. A very brave student indeed!

In light of this recent discovery, Hogwarts is opening “The Hall of the Founders” on the seventh floor of the castle. This hall will be devoted to statues, portraits and information on the four founders of Hogwarts. The Diadem and Cup will be given a special place of honour in their own room in this hall along with the Sword and Locket, should they ever be found. Students will be able to learn all about the four legendary witches and wizards that ensured their education and view items that were cherished by them.

For more information about the Four Founders, see Page 3. For more information about Hogwarts, see Page 6. For more information on The Hall of the Founders, see Page 8.

Chapter Text

“Did you hear?” Hermione asked me as soon as I emerged from my wonderful warm cocoon of blankets on Tuesday morning.

“Hear what?” I asked as I pulled on my clothes for the day.

“Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick were petrified!” she told me. “Do you think we should still go on with our Yuletide Party? I mean, not even ghosts are invulnerable.”

“I think we should. All of the petrifications have been people by themselves or only with a ghost in Justin’s case. We will all be together and there is strength in numbers. Besides, this whole party was meant to cheer everybody up,” I said.

“I guess you’re right. It would be such a shame to cancel it,” Hermione said.

On Friday morning, I made sure that I had my shrunken broom, The Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map all safely tucked into my sidebag. We had Double Transfiguration in the morning along with the Ravenclaws. The lesson was turning bunnies into slippers. The bunnies were conjured by McGonagall and not real of course. I successfully learned the spell and spent the rest of class going over last minute party-prep with Padma Patil, who had also learned the spell.

As soon as class got out, I hurried to Hogsmeade. Once I made it there, I enlarged my broom, cast Disillusionment charms over both myself and my broom and took off. Going at top speed, it was only a short flight over to the nearest muggle town.

I ordered five pizzas, 10 salads and over a hundred different sodas from Pizzaland. Then I popped over to the grocery store to get lemonade, apple juice, orange juice, egg potato salad, popcorn, fruit kabobs, tortilla chips, french fries, cookies, cupcakes and ice cream bars. The house-elves were preparing more typical dinner food and I was in charge of muggle food that wizards didn’t typically eat such as pizza and junk food which was essential for what was basically a tween party. I went back over to Pizzaland to pick up my order, explaining that I was part of the planning committee for a school party.

When I arrived back at Hogwarts, most students were still in class so I quickly made my way to the classroom we had taken over for our party. The Slytherins and Gryffindors had History of Magic together and all you had to do was have a friend call out your name during attendance, so Daphne Greengrass, Tracey Davis and Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were already there when I arrived.

The room was beautifully decorated. Daphne had decided on a Winter Wonderland theme so everything was in whites, silvers and blues. There were streamers on the walls and hanging down from the ceilings, silver tablecloths, pale blue flowers at all the tables and snowflakes floating down from the ceiling but disappearing a foot before they hit anyone’s head.

“This is beautiful. Daphne, you should consider a career as a party planner. I would definitely hire you. Also, food is here” I announced, enlarging my bag and placing it on the designated table.

“Please tell me you are not wearing that to the party,” Lavender said.

“What no?” I said, glancing down at my black pants and sapphire sweater. “This is just what I usually wear under my robes.”

“Oh, that’s alright then.”

We spent the next hour laying out all the food and writing the labels. Some highlights were “Assorted Sodas - Do not shake them up”, “Popcorn - It tastes better than it sounds” and my personal favorite “Lemon Drops - They are from Dumbledore so they might be spiked. Eat at your own risk.”

When classes got out, I headed to the attic lounge where my friends and I were meeting up for Christmas gifts.

“Okay kids, who wants to go first?” I asked.

“Excuse you, you’re-

“-younger than us.”

“Time travel, remember. I’m actually 16 whereas you are only 14 therefore you are all small children,” I said. The twins sulked.

Luna gave everyone butterbeer cork necklaces to protect us. You could never have too many. Neville gave us all small potted plants and said that he would be very disappointed if we couldn’t keep them alive for at least a year. Maggie gave everyone friendship bracelets, “because you are the first real friends I have”. Ginny taught us all the incantation and wand movement for her newly named “Bat-Bogey Hex”.

The twins gave everyone five dungbombs, a bag of hiccough sweets and a fake wand each. Ron gave us all books about our favorite Quidditch teams, part of a series called “Flying with the (team name)”. All the girls got “Flying with the Harpies” as Ginny and I were the only ones who cared at all about Quidditch and they were our favorite team. Hermione got everyone nice eagle-feather quills and fountain pens. Harry gave us all black cloaks with our initials embroidered on.

Finally, it was my turn. I gave everybody notebooks with their names engraved on the front.

“If you write in them, it will appear in the other person’s notebook. Just write the name of the person or people you want to talk to at the top of the page and what you write will appear in their notebooks. These are specifically charmed to your magical signature. You just need to put your wand on the front of the book, say your name and then only you will be able to open it,” I said.

I flipped the one I made for myself open to the first page where I had written everyone’s name and wrote ‘Hi’. The word appeared in everyone’s notebook. I flipped to the next page where Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were on the top and wrote ‘Hello’. It only appeared in their notebooks.

“I got the idea from texting, which is a future thing. It’s how everyone talks to their friends, but on phones instead of notebooks. And they are charmed so that there will always be another page in each conversation,” I said.

“These are awesome,” Maggie said. “We can talk to each other in classes or during vacation.”

“Yeah. Wizards only have letters via owl, which takes around a day and floo calling, but not an equivalent to texting, so I made one in my free time,” I said.

“This will make talking to each other on breaks so much easier. It’s so annoying when we have to wait for owls to deliver a letter and come back before we can deliver another one,” Hermione said.

We all exchanged a round of hugs and then hung out for a little bit longer before Neville, Harry, Ron, Hermione and I had to leave to get ready for the party.

I wore a high-low purple dress with a v-neck and a black belt along with dangly earrings and my necklace. My sidebag I shrunk down and put in my pocket. Hermione was wearing a deep blue knee-length dress with a boat neck, a necklace with a snowflake charm and white flats.

We arrived there half an hour early as I was a  part of the planning committee and we were going over last minute details.

“Do you think we have enough drinks?” Daphne asked.

“The sodas might run out but I cast refilling charms on the juice pitchers,” I replied.

“Susan, you have the radio?” I asked

“Yeah, what do we want?” Susan asked, bringing out her radio.

“Celestina Warbeck,” Lavender replied.

“And Zo, you got the microphone working for carry-okay?” Daphne asked.

“All good.”

“Okay girls, it’s showtime!”

The party was a hit. At first, everyone was tentative and stuck with their friends. But after I went over to Millicent Bulstrode and gave her my gift, everybody began inter-mingling.

“Thanks Hawk, these are amazing,” Millicent said. I had given her a set of robes with over a dozen hidden pockets. “I can fit my wand, quills, parchment, snacks and everything else in here!”

“I’m glad you like them! And please, call me Zo,” I replied.

Hermione gave Gregory Goyle a book on how to make homework easier. Neville gave Vincent Crabbe a puffskein. Ron gave Megan Jones a tin of Mrs. Weasley’s fudge. Harry gave Blaise Zabini a free voucher for a purchase of any size from Sleakeasy Hair Potions, which was created by Harry’s grandfather.

“Hawk,” Pansy Parkinson said cordially, coming to stand next to me. She thrust a gift at me. “Here you go.”

I opened up the wrapping to see two intricate black quills with silver shafts.

“Thank you. They’re very nice,” I said. Parkinson rolled her eyes at me.

“Hold them like you would a wand and then flick your wrists,” she instructed.

I followed her instructions. As I flicked my wrists, the quills transformed into intricate daggers. The silver handle of the daggers had the same design as the shafts of the quills and the blade of the daggers were made from goblin steel.

“Oh. These are beautiful,” I said in awe, turning over the daggers.

“You just need to flick your wrists again and they will turn back into quills. While the daggers are in quill form, they can’t be detected by spells or wards,” Parkinson told me.

“Sounds handy,” I grinned.

“Also full disclosure, I got them from my family vault so they might be cursed or have poisoned blades,” Parkinson admitted. “I got my older brother to handle them first and he was fine, so they won’t harm you though.”

“Gotcha. I’ll make sure not to stab anybody whose life I care about with them.”

Parkinson grinned at me. “You know Hawk, you're not so bad.”

“Why thank you,” I said dryly. “And please call me Zo. All of this last name business seems rather overly formal for a bunch of twelve year olds.”

“Okay then Zo. You can call me Pansy,” Pansy said.

“So Pansy, what did you get?” I asked.

“Susan Bones got me. She gave me a set of emerald earrings.”

“That’s nice,” I said. “What are your plans for the holidays?”

“I am going home. I have an older brother who works in the Ministry and a little sister who will be coming to Hogwarts next year. I’m very excited to see them. On Christmas evening, we will be going to the Greengrass Annual Yule Ball. All of high society attends since the Greengrasses are relatively neutral,” Pansy said.

“That sounds like fun. I’m really looking forward to the Yule Ball that Hogwarts will host in fourth year,” I replied.

“There’s going to be a Yule Ball in fourth year?” Pansy asked excitedly.

“Yes. It’s part of a larger event that the plans are just now beginning for,” I told her, being as mysterious and vague as possible.

“You know because of your Seer powers?” Pansy asked in a whisper.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Can you tell me anything else about this event?” she asked.

“There are going to be dragons and the Weasley Twins will run a betting pool,” I said.

“Sounds awesome. How soon will they announce it?”

“Official announcement will be at the start of fourth year but everybody who works in the ministry will probably tell their kids over the summer before fourth year,” I said.

“I’ll make sure to ask my grandfather that summer. He is on the Wizengamot so he’ll probably know.”

“Good plan,” I replied. Pansy and I chatted a little more before she went off to talk to her Slytherin friends and I went to get a plate of food.

Then I got pulled into a conversation with the Ravenclaw girls about how I was able to do wordless spells so easily. That turned into a debate about willpower versus incantation and wand movement.

After that, Lavender pulled me onto the dance floor where we did some combination of the Macarena, Dance Like An Egyptian and flailing about wildly. It was surprisingly fun and soon the whole year was partying on the dance floor.

At around 10 o'clock, the party began to die down as everybody left in pairs or in groups. Within a half of an hour, only the eight of us who organized the party remained and we worked on cleaning up along with a group of house elves who had insisted on helping us.

Once we were done, we all agreed to leave as a group and go to each of the common rooms, dropping people off. Since everybody decided I was the best duelist of the eight of us, Gryffindor would be last despite the fact that we were closest to Gryffindor Tower. We took a secret slide down to the dungeons to drop off Susan and Hannah at the Hufflepuff Common Room and then Daphne and Tracey left us a few corridors away from the Slytherin Common Room since they didn’t want other houses to know where it was.

That left Padma, Parvati, Lavender and I to walk up seven flights of stairs from the dungeons to the seventh floor where Ravenclaw Tower was. Padma and I said goodbye to Parvati and Lavender and turned in for the night.

Chapter Text

The next morning we woke up early to say goodbye to all of our friends who were leaving. Fred, George and Ginny were going to visit their older brother Bill in Egypt. Ginny was really excited to see him.

“We have Hogwarts to ourselves!” Harry shouted in happiness as soon as the carriages departed for the train station.

“Almost to ourselves. There are still teachers, Malfoy, Malfoy’s goons and a few other students,” Hermione reminded us.

“We do have Ravenclaw Tower to ourselves. Flitwick will probably check on us plenty but otherwise nobody will bother us,” I said.

“We should watch some more movies. We haven’t done that in a while,” Ron suggested.

“We could build a blanket fort in the common room to watch movies,” Hermione suggested. “It’s not against any rules, I checked, and Flitwick probably won’t mind as long as we clean it up."

“I figured out how to get my phone hooked up to a projector, so we can watch movies that haven’t come out as long as they are on Disney Plus or Netflix,” I said.

“What’s Disney Plus?” Harry asked.

“Oh basically Disney bought a lot of other fandoms so Disney Plus is Disney, Star Wars, Pixar, Marvel and one other that I can’t remember. I had a subscription in my time so we can watch those,” I explained.

“Marvel as in the comic books?” Harry asked. “Dudley had lots of those that I sometimes read whenever they left me home by myself.”

“Yeah, they made a bunch of movies out of the comics, it’s awesome. Plus there are a lot more Disney movies that don’t focus on romance and needing a male hero like Moana, Frozen and Brave. I loved Frozen when I was a kid and it first came out. Was singing songs constantly and drove my mom up the wall.”

“We should watch that and sing Disney songs in front of Snape,” Harry suggested.

“We could probably get Dumbledore to join in. I’d bet my bookshelf that he watches Disney movies,” Hermione said.

With excessive use of magic, we managed to move the couches and chairs in the common room to one side and build a fort against the wall. It was high enough to stand up in and had two bunk beds on opposite sides that we draped the blankets over with the foot of the beds facing the wall we were going to use to watch movies. In between them we piled a mound of blankets and pillows for watching movies and set up the projector on top of my mini-fridge.

“Not bad. My eight year old self is squealing in delight at this,” Hermione said. “Although why did you have two bunk beds in your sidebag, Zo?”

“Oh these were actually kept shrunken down in my trunk. I figured that they would be handy to have in case we ever have to go on the run and live out of my trunk,” I explained.

Harry, Ron and I went down to the kitchens to get hot cocoa, peppermint sticks, cake, muffins, biscuits and a bunch of other junk food. Hermione, who was the only one I trusted to use my phone due to the massive amount of future knowledge that I had on there, looked through Disney Plus to decide what movies to watch.

“So what are we watching first?” Harry asked as we all returned to the common room.

“We have enough time to watch several movies so we could each pick out one. I’m choosing The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe for mine,” Hermione said.

“I’ll go with Brave,” I said.

After a few moments of discussion, Harry and Ron decided to choose Frozen and The Empire Strikes Back due to the fact that they loved the first Star Wars movie and were very interested in the mention of annoyingly catchy songs in Frozen.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR AFOREMENTIONED MOVIES

After a quick rock-paper-scissors tournament, Frozen was chosen to go first. Ron and Harry insisted on turning on subtitles and belting out the lyrics to all of the songs. They also immediately declared Olaf the cutest thing on the planet and cried when he almost turned into a puddle at the end, only to shout in delight when Elsa conjured him a snowcloud.

Next up was The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Harry and Hermione loved when Santa Claus showed up but it took a little while to explain who he was to Ron. Everyone was also very interested when I pointed out how each of the Pensive siblings lined up with one of the four Hogwarts Houses. We were all disappointed when they went back to the real world, Ron saying how it “was a bloody stupid decision”. Hermione explained how it represented that children in WWII had to grow up too fast and then return to being children afterwards. Ron maintained that it was still a stupid decision.

Then we watched the fifth Star Wars movie. It had come out over a decade prior so Hermione had already seen it, but the boys hadn’t. After the ending, Ron and Harry spent several minutes sceaming at the top of their lungs. Flitwick heard the yelling and came to check on us considering we had missed dinner as predicted, accepted the fact that we had a blanket fort and movie marathon with a resigned sigh and a warning not to stay up too late. Flitwick was cool like that.

We took an intermission to go down to the Great Hall for dinner. We ate at the Hufflepuff table with a group of fourth year Hufflepuffs who had stayed for break to keep some of the younger kids company. Apparently we were “the younger kids” and they were more than happy to let us sit with them. Abigail Addington, who wanted to become a Mind Healer, was very worried about our mental health after fighting Voldemort last year and insisted on giving us all hugs. Hufflepuffs were the best.

After dinner, we swung by the Kitchens to replenish our snacks and then went back up to Ravenclaw Tower to watch Brave. Hermione loved the part about Merida fighting for her own hand. According to Ron, Merida’s triplet little brothers were exactly like Fred and George as children. We all cried when the tapestry and the power of love turned Merida’s mom back into a human.

“We really need to do movie nights more often,” Ron said.

“It’s really more like a movie day,” Hermione pointed out.

“Totally. We should have a weekly movie night,” I suggested. “We need to do all the Disney princess movies, all the other Disney movies, all the live action remakes, all the Marvel movies-”

“Don’t forget about Star Wars,” Harry said.

“We have enough time to watch another. Want to watch the sixth one?” Hermione asked. “It’s really good. Probably my favorite.”

“It’s my favorite Star Wars movie and I’ve watched the main nine plus all of the spin-offs,” I said, grabbing my phone and beginning to set it up. “Although The Clone Wars TV show is the best because Ashoka is awesome.”

Needless to say, Return of the Jedi was a huge hit. Ron and Harry had an even bigger freak out when it was revealed that Luke and Leia were twins. I shamelessly filmed them screeching and running around the common room like headless monkeys.

“Like you didn't freak out when you watched it,” Harry said.

“I didn’t,” Hermione said.

“Same. My cousin spoiled it before I watched the movies. I thought he was tricking me but my older cousin told me he wasn’t,” I said.

“Do you think that we could make lightsabers with magic?” Ron asked.

“Well we couldn’t but I bet the twins could,” I said thoughtfully. “I can go into London over break, buy the DVD’s and a TV so you can show them the movies and watch it as much as you want. If I’m funding it with my unlimited bag of money, they probably could figure out how to make lightsabers. Also they could easily make ones that just light up and don’t cut through things to sell to kids. I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s trademarked but that’s just in the muggle world and the wizarding world doesn’t pay much attention to muggle laws.”

“Zo, you are the best,” Harry said.

“I know,” I replied with a smile.

We spent the next week having snowball fights, pulling harmless pranks and watching Disney movies.

On one day, we snuck out of Hogwarts and took the Knight Bus to London. We went to Harrod’s and spent a bunch of money on Christmas presents for Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley because they deserved it for putting up with us. For lunch we went to high tea because we were in London so we had to do high tea. Then we went to a movie theatre because I insisted that everyone needed to see a movie in a movie theatre. We watched Aladdin and then Home Alone 2.

Then we got on the Knight Bus again and ordered hot cocoa for the ride back. I took great pride in being the only one who didn’t splash my cocoa all over myself, mainly because I downed it all within two seconds and burned my tongue.

On Christmas morning, I woke up when Hermione squirted whipped cream all over my face. I promptly ate it and rolled back over. Then she dragged me out of bed, had me grab my Christmas presents and we went into the boy’s dorm.

Since we had already exchanged Christmas presents with each other, we each had two gifts. Hagrid gave us all a tin of treacle fudge and Mrs. Weasley sent us knitted sweaters and plum cakes.

We spent the day playing Monopoly and eating sandwiches that we had gone down to the Great Hall to get for lunch.

Christmas dinner was amazing. Since so few people were at Hogwarts, we all sat at the Head Table which had been relocated to the middle of the Great Hall. Dumbledore made sure to thank us for the woolen socks we had got him, a reference to last year when he told Harry that was what he saw in the Mirror of Erised. McGonagall also thanked us for her dicta-quills and headache relievers and told us that if we ever called her “Minnie” again then we would be in detention until we graduated. Though she was trying her best to hide a smile as she said this.

When Malfoy insulted our Weasley sweaters, I asked if he was jealous and told him that I could ask Mrs. Weasley to make one for him. His face turned a lovely shade of red. Hermione stopped me from grabbing some of the adult eggnog, saying that I couldn’t be tipsy when we snuck into the Slytherin Common Room later that night. We sung Christmas carols and ate the deliciously rich food that the house-elves had prepared.

After we had all eaten seconds of dessert, Hermione ushered us out of the Great Hall and into Myrtle’s bathroom to prepare for our infiltration mission.

Chapter Text

“We still need a bit of the people you’re changing into,” said Hermione. “And obviously, it’ll be best if you can get something of Crabbe and Goyle’s. They’re Malfoy’s best friends, he’ll tell them anything. And we also need to make sure the real Crabbe and Goyle can’t burst in on us while we’re interrogating him.”

“I’ve already got mine,” I said, holding up a lock of blond hair. I had stolen a lock of Gemma Farley’s hair by wandlessly levitating an invisible pair of scissors to chop off a tiny strand. I had also paid Fred and George to get the prefect’s patrol schedule from Percy and she would be patrolling from 8 to 10 tonight.

“Good work, Zo. As for you two, I’ve got it all worked out,” she went on smoothly, ignoring Harry’s and Ron’s stupefied faces. She held up two plump miniature chocolate cakes. “I’ve filled these with a simple Sleeping Draught. All you have to do is make sure Crabbe and Goyle find them. You know how greedy they are, they’re bound to eat them. Once they’re asleep, pull out a few of their hairs and hide them in a broom closet.”

“All right,” said Harry. “But what about you? Whose hair are you ripping out?”

“Millicent Bulstrode and I’ve already got a piece of her hair. She was wrestling with me at the duelling club. She left this on my robes when she was trying to strangle me! And she’s gone home for Christmas, so I’ll just have to tell the Slytherins I’ve decided to come back.”

Hermione and I continued stirring the potion so it wouldn’t settle as the boys went to trick Crabbe and Goyle. Thankfully they returned a half hour later and reported that they encountered no problems. Hermione ladled the thick black gloop into four clear glasses. I poured the extra potion into several bottles and stuck them in my mini-fridge.

“Alright, I have got four Slytherin uniforms for us to change into. Keep in mind that we are all changing into people with different body sizes, so we might want to change beforehand so we don’t rip our clothes.”

We all quickly took a stall and changed into the Slytherin robes. We all grabbed a glass and put a piece of hair into them. Mine was a dark gray with a hint of blue.

“Pinch your nose and down it in one go,” I suggested, setting four bottles of apple juice on the sink counter to help wash down the taste afterwards.

Before I could begin to doubt myself, I pinched my nose and chugged the entire glass of potion. Then I immediately drank the entire bottle of apple juice to wash out the taste. I could feel the potion taking effect. I felt like it was being jabbed at by needles, similar to when a leg or arm falls asleep, but with my whole body. When I opened my eyes, I was a good six inches further off the ground then I was before. It was creepy to look into a mirror and see a face that wasn’t my own.

Two crashes beside me signaled that Harry and Ron had only drank half of their glasses before sprinting for the toilet. Hermione was a second behind them, having managed to finish her entire glass. I removed a book on dark curses from my sidebag, then shrank my sidebag and put it into one of my pockets.

“Alright come on out,” I called.

Ron-Crabbe and Harry-Goyle emerged from the stalls looking horrified and poking at their faces. Being the good friend I was, I snapped a picture and then doubled over laughing.

“Uh, guys, the potion messed up. You are going to have to go without me,” Hermione said in a squeaky voice from inside her stall.

“Do you want to come underneath The Invisibility Cloak?” I asked.

“No. You guys go. You’re wasting time,” she said.

“Alright. I found you two gorging yourself in the great hall and am escorting you back to the common room. I know where it is. Remember to grunt a lot and act dumb. I managed to drink the whole glass so I have two hours whereas you only have one. Since you are the ones who think Malfoy is the Heir, you get to question him. As a sixth-year prefect, I will be sitting in the common room reading a book,” I instructed as I led the two boys down into the dungeons.

“There you are,” Malfoy drawled, walking towards us. “Hello Prefect Farley.”

“Hello,” I said with a cordial nod. “I found these two pigging out in the Great Hall and being an embarrassment to Slytherin House. I’m escorting them back to the common room.”

“Oh yes of course,” Malfoy said with a pompous air before turning to his friends. “Goyle, are you wearing glasses?”

“Ah, um, reading,” Harry-Goyle said.

“Reading?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I didn’t know you could read,” Malfoy replied in a surprised tone.

I held back a snort of laughter and swept past them and walked through a few more corridors before coming to a stop in front of the blank stone wall that was the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room.

“Pureblood,” I announced and entered the common room as if I had done it a thousand times. I headed to a comfy emerald armchair with a good view of the whole room and sat down with my book on dark curses.

I watched as Harry-Goyle and Ron-Crabbe fumbled through trying to ask if Malfoy was the Heir while maintaining their cover. The only thing of note was that Malfoy said his father was concerned over all the coverage that the Chamber was getting in the Daily Prophet and insisted that he stay at Hogwarts for the break. According to Malfoy, it was because his father was planning on trying to get the Board of Governors to fire Dumbledore. Which was true although it was hardly the only reason that Malfoy Senior was worried.

When my watch told me that fifty-five minutes had passed since we first took the potion, I caught my friends’ attention, tapped my watch and jerked my head to the entrance of the Slytherin Common Room. They got the message and Ron-Crabbe said he had a stomachache. Harry-Goyle quickly offered to take him to the Hospital Wing and the two left the common room.

Fortunately, Malfoy didn’t seem to realize anything was amiss and started writing a letter to his mother. I waited a few more moments so that the timing didn’t seem suspicious before leaving the Slytherin Common Room and heading to Myrtle’s bathroom.

“Zo, good. Hermione won’t come out,” Harry said as I entered the bathroom.

“Hermione, it’s not that bad. Why don’t you come out and we can go to Madam Pomfrey. We’ll say we were practicing human transfiguration on ourselves,” I coaxed.

“Can we use The Invisibility Cloak?” Hermione asked with a sniffle.

“Of course, just come on out,” I said gently.

Hermione opened the door and emerged. Her face was covered in brown fur the color of her hair and her eyes were filled with tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It will be alright,” I said, moving forward and wrapping Hermione in a hug.

“Okay,” Hermione sniffled, wiping her tears with her face. “So what did you find out?”

“Nothing we didn’t already know,” Harry said. “Malfoy definitely isn’t the Heir.”

“Although we did find out where Malfoy’s dad keeps his illegal stuff so I’ll send my dad an owl so he can bust him,” Ron added.

“Alright. Let’s go to the Hospital Wing and you can keep me updated with our notebooks,” Hermione said.

I pulled my invisibility cloak out of my bag and draped it over Hermione. It wasn’t anywhere near as good as Harry’s but considering we were just walking through the hallways, it was more than up to the job.

Madam Pomfrey clearly didn’t believe that Hermione and I were practicing human transfiguration, but didn’t ask any questions. She was of the opinion that students wouldn’t feel comfortable coming to her if she asked what they were doing and student safety was her top priority.

Chapter Text

Hermione spent the next few days in the Hospital Wing. Harry, Ron and I visited her often so we could all do our homework together like we always did and communicated through our notebooks. 

During the week between Christmas and New Year’s, the four of us kept busy. Hermione had me bring her books from the library to read every day. We snuck her out of the Hospital Wing in the middle of the night and used the ROR to make an ice skating rink complete with Christmas music. We slipped all over the place and managed to end up in a pile-up several times. Eventually we stopped when I did a backflip on the ice and broke my leg. I regretted nothing.

On the 27th, Harry and I snuck out of Hogwarts to go visit Andromeda and caught the Knight Bus at Hogsmeade. Stan was more than used to our presence by now and always gave us a cup of hot cocoa, saying that I paid more than enough for it. Since my magic refilling bag of money only had galleons, I often ended up over-paying for cheaper things like bus tickets and telling them to keep the change.

We got off a street away from Andromeda’s house because I was slightly paranoid and it was good exercise and walked the rest of the way there. Andromeda, who was trying to get us to call her Andy, gave us tea and cake, asked about how school was going and how serious the Chamber of Secrets issue was. Tonks, who was only a trainee auror, was not one of the Aurors assigned to protect Hogwarts. There was a rotation with five Aurors always stationed at Hogwarts.

Andromeda and I talked about the current issues in the Wizengamot while Harry and Ted talked about Quidditch. When Tonks got home from the Ministry, she told Harry and about how another trainee had gotten yelled at by Mad-Eye Moody, who was planning on retiring at the end of the year which was in a couple of days and seemed determined to get the Auror Corps into fighting shape.

Tonks also shapeshifted into Fudge and did an excellent job imitating him while we all laughed.

“How does being a metamorphmagus work?” I asked.

“I just think about what I want to look like in my mind. Also my hair changes depending on my mood,” Tonks replied.

“Cool,” Harry said.

“So you could change into anybody?” I asked.

“Yes but I’m an Auror, I’m not going to be a guinea pig for whatever research you undoubtedly want to do,” Tonks warned me.

“Aww, you’re no fun,” I pouted.

We stayed at the Tonkses’ house for dinner but then flooed back to Hogsmeade, exiting at the Hog’s Head. Since Honeyduke’s was closed, we had to take another passageway back to Hogwarts. There was a thick oak tree on the outskirts of Hogsmeade that you had to press your wand to a certain knot in the tree and say “Aperta” for a hidden entrance in the tree trunk to open up. The passageway linked up to the Hogwarts network of secret passageways.

During the afternoon of the next day, I went into the Forbidden Forest to visit the centaurs as they had invited me to visit back in first year when I had detention in the Forbidden Forest. I brought with me gifts of mallowsweet and sage, which I read they used to help with Divination.

The centaurs were well aware of the fact that I was a time-traveller and were the ones that told me that this made me a Seer on a technicality. I told them about how I used to be a muggle teenager, but then woke up as an eleven year old witch on Platform 9 ¾. Since they weren’t interested in Hogwarts gossip, I gave them a brief overview of what happened last year with the Stone and what was likely going to happen with the basilisk this year as well as telling them that Voldemort would return to full strength in late June of 1995. They confirmed that there would be a waning moon during the last week of June 1995 and that while Mars was not as bright as it had been when I first encountered the centaurs, it would be very bright during the summer of 1995 to the middle of spring in 1998. I also found out that the centaurs had met Luna and they got on amazingly. This did not surprise me at all.

We entered 1993 with a fresh layer of snow coating the Hogwarts grounds. Andromeda had sent us a potion for Hermione after we admitted what had happened (although we said that we were using the Polyjuice for a prank) that cured her. The four of us had a snowball war against Peeves on New Year’s Day that lasted several hours. We finally won when Hermione managed to hit a snowball in precisely the right spot on the roof of the Great Hall to send over a ton of snow cascading down on Peeves.

I went to a cafe in Knockturn Alley that catered to all creatures to meet up with my new account manager at Gringotts. She was an elderly goblin named Akita who told me that she wouldn’t stop working until the day she died. Akita swore a lot, particularly when discussing the ministry but then would show me pictures of her great-grandchildren and tell me about how well they were doing in school in the same breath.

Apparently Akita kept getting shuffled around because she upset wizards’ delicate sensibilities and whacked them on the shins with her walking stick. She told me that she had been assigned to deal with me because she was the only one who could survive let alone handle my particular brand of chaos. Also because Ragnok was mad at her for stealing his personal ale cabinet. Not stealing from his ale cabinet, but stealing the actual cabinet full of ale itself.

The two of us got on amazingly well. She found all the hijinks that my friends and I got up hilarious. Akita had a lot good ideas for our plans to completely overhaul and reform the ministry, suggesting that all intelligent magical races (Centaurs, Goblins, House-Elves, Merpeople, Werewolves, Hags, Vampires, etcetera) should have a representative on the Wizengamot.

Chapter Text

The rest of the students returned from break and classes continued about as normal. Snape was horribly biased and gave Harry and I zeros despite the fact that our potions merited at least an Acceptable. In Herbology, I tried to copy whatever Neville was doing and managed to get E’s most of the time. During Astronomy, I layered myself in lots of warming charms and paid attention to what Sinstra was saying. I self studied with Hermione in DADA and History. In Charms and Transfiguration I continued to use wordless and wandless magic to Flitwick’s amazement and McGonagall’s exasperation.

“Ms. Hawk, it is important to know the incantation and wand movement required even if you do not need to use it. You cannot simply point at the apple and say ‘Grow’ or ‘Shrink’ regardless of whether or not your magic is intent based,” she said on one occasion.

Apparition lessons started in mid January for the sixth years. Even though I was in second year, I was mentally a sixteen year old so I decided to sneak in. Nobody noticed until during the second lesson when I was the first person to manage to apparate semi successfully (I lost a couple of my fingernails) and everybody noticed my presence. McGonagall gave me 10 points to Ravenclaw for being the first person to manage to apparate, a detention for sneaking in and breaking the law, banned me from any more apparition lessons until I was in my sixth year and sent me to the Hospital Wing so I could get my fingernails regrown.

I wandlessly regrew my fingernails back to their regular length and snuck out of Hogwarts via the Honeydukes passage. I found an empty snow covered field in Hogsmeade to practice apparating. I made sure to use my Hawthorn from Knockturn as opposed to my Blackthorn Ollivander’s wand that had the Trace on it. After an hour of practice, I could get where I wanted to within my line of sight without losing any fingernails.

“Zo! Zo!”

I turned my head and saw Fred, George and Lee waving at me. I apparated over to them.

“Hey Zo, what are-”

“-you doing here?”

“McGonagall kicked me out of the sixth year Apparition lessons at Hogwarts so I came here to practice,” I said with a shrug.

“Wicked!” they exclaimed in unison.

“I take it it’s a Hogsmeade weekend?” I asked.

“Yeah. Just finished shopping-”

“-got you your monthly order of-”

“-prank supplies and sweets and-”

“-we’re heading back now.”

“Cool. Want me to try and side along apparate you?” I offered.

“Sure,” the twins replied, being Gryffindors who thrived on danger.

“Sounds awesome,” Lee added.

I took Lee first, as I had absolutely no idea if it would work and would feel a lot more guilty if Fred or George got hurt. It ended up working a little too well. I had intended to apparate us to right outside the Hogwarts wards, but managed to end up inside the Ravenclaw Common Room. Hermione looked up.

“Did you just apparate through the Hogwarts wards?” she asked in astonishment.

“That’s wicked,” Ron told me.

“In my defense, I didn’t mean to,” I said.

“You accidentally apparated through the Hogwarts wards?” Hermione asked in disbelief.

“Yes?”

“I am so glad that you are on our side,” Harry said.

“Excuse me a moment,” I replied and apparated back to Hogsmeade.

“It worked!”

“You’re alive!”

“Yep,” I said cheerfully, grabbing their arms in each hand and returning to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

“How did you do that?” Hermione asked as soon as I reappeared.

“Willpower, stubbornness and determination,” I replied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, that took up a lot of energy so I’m going to take a nap.”

I promptly face-planted on the ground, unconscious.

I woke up in the Hospital Wing, immediately grabbed my sidebag and got out of there before Madam Pomfrey could notice I was awake. I ducked into one of the secret passageways and pulled out my notebook.

Zo: Hey everyone, I’m awake. How long was I out?

Hermione: Just two hours. Madam Pomfrey said you depleted your magical core and could be asleep for several days. Shouldn’t you be resting?

Zo: I mean, probably, but I feel fine. I just escaped the Hospital Wing and now hanging out in our Attic Hideout.

Ginny: Cool. Is Luna up there? I can’t find her anywhere.

Luna: I’m talking with the centaurs in the forest.

Ron: The centaurs?

Luna: Yes. They’re quite sweet once you get to know them.

Fred: Not surprised that Luna

George: befriended the centaurs.

Maggie: Is anybody else worried about Madam Pomfrey murdering Zo for escaping the Hospital Wing?

Zo: I’ll just lay low for the rest of the day and tomorrow and Monday I will swing by the Hospital Wing right before Potions so Madam Pomfrey can check me over and I will have an excuse not to deal with Snivellus.

Harry: Cool plan

In the last week of January, two sixth year Hufflepuffs named Richard Ogden and Lola Talbot were found petrified in an alcove, having been making out after curfew. They hadn’t been wearing Gaze Glasses but from what I could tell, had seen the reflection of the basilisk in the alcove window.

Everybody became increasingly scared and I found myself escorting the first year Ravenclaws to and from their classes and giving them Chocolate Frogs to cheer them up because they were innocent little babies who had to be protected at all costs. A stricter curfew was put into place with nobody being allowed to be outside their Common Rooms past 9 o’clock.

Even worse, rumors began circulating that Lockhart was planning a “morale-booster” to cheer the school up. I groaned when I heard.

On February 14th, I wore all black including black lipstick, the only exception being the blue lining on my Ravenclaw robes.

“Why are you goth today?” Hermione asked me as we left the girls dorm to meet up with the boys in the common room.

“In protest of Valentine’s Day and the capitalist culture surrounding it. Also, today is going to be horrible,” I said.

It was horrible. My eyes ached from all of the pink decorating the Great Hall. Most people were wearing pink or red underneath their robes.

“Yeah, I’m not doing this. See you in class,” I said. I turned and walked to class, eating a bread roll on my way.

It only got worse from there. The dwarves kept bursting into classes to deliver songs and letters. I myself got several written valentines and was horrified by this. Hermione found it hilarious and wouldn’t stop laughing. I shot a light Stinging Hex at her and burned the letters into ashes. After the fifth letter, I decided that was it and ditched my classes to go hang out in a hidden room in the library where nobody could find me.

Tracey Davis, a Slytherin in our year, was petrified in the first week of march. She had been walking alone, heading to the Slytherin Common Room right before curfew. This caused more chaos than any of the other attacks had. Tracey was the first Slytherin to be petrified and the message was quite clear: Nobody was safe.

I had made use of the secret passageways to listen in on several Professor Meetings on what to do. While it would be undoubtedly safer to close the school until the monster could be found, nobody knew how long that could take given that everybody had been searching for months already and were no closer to finding it. Hogwarts was the only magical school in Great Britain and children needed to learn how to control their magic lest it spiral out of control.

With nothing else to do, the four of us once again turned to pranking. After breakfast, when everybody was heading to their classes, we unleashed hundreds of bouncy balls from the top of the Grand Staircase. We also added a Bouncing Charm so that they would continue regardless of gravity. Right after we unleashed the bouncy balls, we slid down conjured ropes in the Great Staircase from the seventh floor all the way down to the ground floor and joined our bewildered classmates. They bounced all the way down and through the halls, causing traffic blocks and delaying classes. They were also resistant to the teachers’ attempts to vanish them so they had to be tracked down one by one and shoved in a storage closet. Students kept finding balls bouncing throughout the corridors for weeks afterwards.

Next up was a stroke of genius I got by browsing Instagram in my free time. We purchased hundreds of costumes, wigs and fake noses via owl order and bribed the entire school. The next morning, everybody showed up dressed like Snape, complete with wigs dipped in grease and giant plastic noses. When Snape came in for breakfast, he stood in the doorway for a full minute, staring at us all in shock and fury. I got a picture of his face to print out and distribute. The best part was, we weren’t even breaking any rules. We planned it for a Saturday, when students could wear whatever they wanted. McGonagall was very annoyed when I pointed this out to her.

The next Monday during lunch, I magically threw a lump of mashed potatoes at Fred. Fred looked up, saw me smiling and threw a piece of toast at me. I ducked and it hit a Hufflepuff behind me. And everything dissolved into glorious chaos as the whole school got involved in the food fight. The Hufflepuffs were more ruthless than all the other houses combined, teaming up to drench everyone in gravy. I got Dumbledore in the face with a lemon pie and Ginny upended a pitcher of gravy on Snape’s head. Dumbledore didn’t seem particularly inclined to stop us, either because he understood that I was trying to distract everyone from the Chamber or because he was slightly bonkers I didn’t know.

Later in the week I got a nasty reminder that while I might mentally be sixteen, I was physically twelve when both Hermione and I started our periods on the same day. The whole time travel thing meant I had to go through puberty again. We spent the morning eating up my entire chocolate stash and then went to go blow up a bathroom because I was in the mood for an explosion and Hermione decided to join me instead of stopping me.

When McGonagall caught us, she assigned us both a detention and took us to Madam Pomfrey. Madam Pomfrey informed us that there were potions specifically designed to help with menstrual cramps and mood swings that she kept in stock that nearly all the female students used. Magic was a fucking glorious thing. Madam Pomfrey smiled when I informed her that she was bloody brilliant.

Chapter Text

Easter holidays arrived and with them, elective choices. Hermione gathered all the Ravenclaws in our year together to discuss our options.

“There are five options for electives: Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies. Two is the minimum required but most people take three. Zo has done some research and will be talking about the different classes,” Hermione said.

I got up and moved to the front of the abandoned classroom that we had taken over for the afternoon.

“Alright. First up Care of Magical Creatures. Fun, not that hard, there is a chance of getting injured but this is Hogwarts, there is always a chance of getting injured. Kettleburn, who is the current teacher in that class, will be retiring and next year it will be taught by Hagrid, who manages a lot of the creatures that live on the Hogwarts grounds such as the thestrals and axabrans. If you are an outdoorsy person, this would be a good choice for you.

“Next is Divination. This is taught by Trewlaney. Trelawney is a Seer, but she is the type that makes prophecies instead of being able to see into the future. It’s pretty easy to pass. You are either born a Seer or not but if you take this class and do a lot of self-study because most teachers are useless, then you will be able to see into the future with the help of things like crystal balls, tea leaves, tarot cards, you get the idea. Otherwise, just make things up.

“After that we have Muggle Studies. This is taught by Professor Charity Burbage. I don’t know a lot about her although Voldemort kills her in seventh year so she’s probably a decent person. Actually, forget that, I probably shouldn’t have said that.This class is ridiculously easy if you have any experience in the muggle world. Any muggleborn could probably pass this class right now. With this elective, you have the option to not take them, but get the course materials, self study and then take the test at the end of the year to get full credit. If you are a muggleborn or half-blood with sufficient knowledge of the muggle world, I would recommend doing that so that you can also take other electives. I’m planning on doing that as well as taking three other electives.

“Arithmancy is where mathematics meets magic. Magicmatics, you could say. Or Mathemagics. Yeah, that’s better. Anyway, I know there isn’t a pre-Hogwarts magical school and most kids are homeschooled so I’m not sure how much you would know about math. Those of you who went to a muggle elementary school, or primary school I guess, would at least be at a Pre-Algebra level I think? England starts school at an earlier age than America so I’m not entirely sure, but it’s best to have a solid understanding of math for this. It sounds super interesting and I love math so I’m definitely taking it - can’t be harder than Calculus. It’s taught by Professor Vector by the way.

“Finally, Ancient Runes. This is taught by Professor Babbling. If you want to become a Curse Breaker, you definitely need to take this. It has a lot of overlap with Arithmancy, you probably understand them better if you take both. You will learn about various runic languages. Runes are very handy for creating wards. They also are in a lot of other items you may have encountered such as trunks that have expanded space. Runes are a lot more dependable than spells as most spells fade over time. Super handy.”

After that, everybody split up to talk about what to take. Hermione, Ron, Harry and I got a table together.

“These are all so interesting. I don’t know how I can choose!” Hermione said.

“You should talk to McGonagall to see if there is a way to rearrange your schedule so that you can take all of them,” I suggested.

“That’s a good idea. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to do Divination, Ancient Runes and Arithmancy as well as doing Muggle Studies as a self-study. It’ll be a lot but we will have a wonderful Defense teacher next year so I won’t have to self-study that. The Ravenclaws structured out a five year and seven year self-study program for History that I’ve been using. Since I’m not going any higher in my muggle self-studies, I can do the Year Three History over the summer to free up more time,” I said.

“You’re not going any higher in your muggle subjects?” Hermione asked with a frown. “Those are pretty important.”

“Well yeah but I’m sixteen and I was already two years advanced in math. I completed one year of high school before I came to Hogwarts. And we aren’t doing these for credits, we’re doing it for knowledge. I did Calculus last summer and have no wish to do more of that. I’m not doing any more science since I’m not going into a STEM field. I know enough about muggle history through the self study I've already done. High school level English is really just about learning to write essays, which I am doing more than enough of here and read classic books, which I do for fun. For all intents and purposes, I’ve completed a high school level education. If you want to go to muggle college then Hogwarts provides you with forged transcripts for both secondary school and undergrad, so it’s not like I will need to take whatever the British version of the SATs,” I explained.

“Oh yes, I suppose that makes sense. I’m just doing math and muggle history at this point. Does Hogwarts really count as an undergraduate degree?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah. Most people get jobs straight out of Hogwarts. OWLs count as high school or secondary school level education and NEWTs count as an undergraduate degree. Most witches and wizards get jobs straight out of Hogwarts. But in certain fields you need to get an apprenticeship and work towards a Mastery like for Healing, Potioneering, Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, and a few other subjects. Those are the equivalent of a Master’s degree or a Doctorate. I talked to McGonagall about it last year,” I told her.

“So, you can go to graduate school straight out of Hogwarts if you want to?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah. I grew up in a family that were all strong believers in higher education and most everyone had graduate degrees of some sort. I always planned on doing both undergrad and grad school so I’m definitely going to college after Hogwarts even though I don’t need to because the Wizarding World has literally no qualifications required to be a lawyer. Are you planning on college as well?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m going to go to either Cambridge or Oxford,” Hermione said. “My parents have put a lot of money into college savings for me. Do you want to rent a flat together when we go to college?”

“Absolutely!” I exclaimed.

“Can we come as well?” Harry asked.

“Of course. It will have to be bigger to accommodate all four of us but both Harry and I have more money than we could spend in a lifetime so that won’t be a problem,” I said.

“More school?” Ron asked.

“Oh come on, you have it easy. Most muggles are in school from the age of five or six until their twenties,” I pointed out.

Ron blanched, “Muggle college it is then.”

Once we had finished our plans for after we graduated Hogwarts, we circled back to electives. I had already chosen mine. Ron decided on Care of Magical Creatures, Divination and Muggle Studies, as he was the only one of us who wasn’t raised in the muggle world. Harry decided on Care of Magical Creatures, Divination and Arithmancy. Hermione held off on deciding, saying she was going to talk to McGonagall about how many she could take at once.

Chapter Text

Classes continued to go on. Another two students were found petrified, Patricia Moon from Ravenclaw and David Roberts from Hufflepuff. They had both been wearing Gaze Glasses .

By the time I went down for breakfast the morning after they had been petrified, the whole school knew about it. All the portraits were terrible gossips, although I suppose it was understandable given that they had nothing else to do.

That same day after classes, Luna came and found me, where I was studying in the office space of my multi-compartment trunk. I didn’t bother questioning how she got into the trunk or how she knew where I was. After all, it was Luna.

“Hagrid is going to be in need of a lawyer tonight,” Luna informed me.

“What? But I had Rita publish the article about how Riddle opened the Chamber and framed Hagrid specifically so that he wouldn’t be arrested,” I said in confusion.

“Yes but the Ministry has far too many Wrackspurts in their brain to do something logical, especially Fudge,” Luna told me. “It’s a wonder they haven’t completely destroyed themselves.”

“Got it. Will Malfoy be a problem?” I asked, pulling a set of formal robes over my head.

“No. Now that the Wizarding World knows that Riddle isn’t dead, the Board of Governors wouldn’t dare remove Dumbledore and Malfoy is in too precarious of a political position to blackmail the other members,” Luna said, understanding exactly what I meant.

“Okay. Luna, I’m going to need you to send Athena with a letter to Madam Bones, tell her that Fudge is going to try to illegally arrest Hagrid. I’ll get down there and stop him,” I said, casting a Disillusionment Charm. I didn’t technically need it as it was still before curfew, but if the professors saw me out and about at this hour they would rightfully assume that I was up to something and question me.

By now, it was practically child’s play to sneak out of the castle and make my way to Hagrid’s hut. A hell of a lot less dangerous than wandering into the Forbidden Forest for a midnight stroll, which I tended to do whenever I didn’t have school the next day and could sleep in.

“Hi Hagrid, how are you doing?” I said as he let me into his house.

“Zo, it's good teh see yeh, but innit past curfew?” Hagrid asked.

“Yes Fudge is going to try and arrest you over the Chamber even though Voldy framed you. It’s illegal to arrest someone without a warrant issued by the DMLE, but the Ministry does plenty of illegal things and gets away with it as long as nobody calls them out on it. For all that Dumbledore is good at politics, he often overlooks the simplest option of doing things legally because that leads to the DMLE looking into his business, but in this case you haven’t done anything illegal beside raising an acromantula as a teen fifty years ago. Well, nothing illegal that can be proved that is.That’s why I’m here, I’d like to offer to be your lawyer and prevent Fudge from illegally arresting you,” I explained as I tossed Fang some crackers from my pocket.

“Uh, okay,” Hagrid said, walking over to his stove and grabbing the kettle. “I didn't understand half o’ that though.”

“That’s fine. Just don’t admit to any illegal creature breeding except for Aragog. If that comes up, play up the Hufflepuff angle, use stereotypes to your advantage. You were a young boy who was taking care of his pet spider, didn’t realize it was illegal, just wanted to help him find a home where he was loved,” I instructed. “You got Aragog from Scamander, right?”

“Yeah,” Hagrid said, handing me a cup of tea.

“It’s probably best not to mention that. The Ministry hates Scamander because he’s a good person and isn’t afraid to stand up to them. If you need to say it was some guy who didn’t give his name and you don’t remember what he looked like because it was five decades ago.”

Right as I finished speaking, a knock sounded and Hagrid went to answer the door. Dumbledore and Fudge entered.

“Hello Hagrid,” Fudge said. “And Ms. Hawk, lovely to see you as well.”

I had met Fudge over the summer when I was shadowing Andromeda in the Wizengamot. I had developed a bit of a reputation due to speaking bluntly and not being afraid to call politicians out on their unethical and illegal policies.

“Yes well, Hagrid, I’m afraid that I’ve come to arrest you,” Fudge said.

“On what charges? Hagrid hasn’t done anything against the law,” I inquired in mock confusion.

“He was convicted of opening the Chamber of Secrets last time so we have to take him to Azkaban now,” Fudge said confidently. 

“You mean when he was framed by Voldemort, then Tom Riddle, a known terrorist? And as I am sure you are aware, under the 1945 International Treaty of Magical Rights, Section Three, Subsection Seven as well as the Wizengamot Charter of Rights, Section Twelve, Subsection Four, any magical person or creature has a right to a trial and cannot be sent to prison without a trial. You cannot send him to Azkaban without a trial.

“Furthermore, Hagrid never had a trial in 1942 and as such was not convicted, nor was it legal to snap his wand without a trial. Under Section Five, Subsection Two of the Code of Wand Use, any witch or wizard must have a trial before their wand can be snapped and over fifty percent must vote for their wand to be snapped. For a minor, the vote must be over sixty-seven percent in order for their wand to be snapped. As a matter of fact, Hagrid would be well within his rights to sue the Ministry for the grave miscarrige of justice that was done to him fifty years ago.”

“Quite right you are Ms. Hawk,” said a stern and disapproving voice. Amelia Bones walked in, followed by Tonks.

“Cornelius, what in Merlin’s name is going on? Because I got an owl from an twelve year old saying that you were trying to illegally arrest someone, without cause and without alerting me. And I arrive to find the only thing preventing you from doing so is a teenage girl who clearly has more brains than you,” Madam Bones said furiously.

“I was just listing all of the laws that he would be breaking in his stupidity,” I supplied helpfully. “And I didn’t even get through half of them.”

Bones started lecturing Fudge, Dumbledore twinkled his eyes and Hagrid pulled me off to the side, “Hey Zo, do yeh think yeh could get me me wand back?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

“Ah, yes, Mr Hagrid, you have my sincerest apologies. I made a grave lapse in judgment that will not happen again. Of course, you weren’t responsible before and you aren’t now and I am truly sorry for this mess. It won’t happen again,” Fudge said at Madam Bones’ prompting. I was reminded of a mother forcing her misbehaving child to issue an apology.

“It betta not. I don’ like bein’ used as a scapegoat,” Hagrid said. Fudge stammered out an incoherent reply.

“Madam Bones. Now that it has been established the Ministry had no right to expel Hagrid and snap his wand, he would like his record cleared and to be able to carry a wand once again,” I requested with much more politeness than when I was talking to Fudge.

“Since Hagrid never had a trial, he does not have a criminal record. I will have it noted in the Chamber of Secrets case from 1942 that Hagrid was a victim and that he was framed,” Madam Bones said. “In regards to his wand, he was never banned from carrying a wand as he never had a trial. However, in order to carry a wand you must be enrolled in a school registered with the Ministry or have at least one O.W.L.”

“Got it. I have full confidence in Hagrid passing a Care of Magical Creatures O.W.L. later this year,” I said.

“I will also talk to the staff members about tutoring you over the summer so that you can receive the education that you were denied,” Dumbledore told Hagrid.

“Thank you for all of your help,” I said.

“Of course. Thank you for all of those anonymous tips that the Auror office received,” Madam Bones said, before turning to Fudge and ushering him out the door. “Come on Cornelius, we need to have a long talk about abusing your position.”

Not a second after the door shut behind her, Hagrid hugged me and started bawling, saying how happy he was to get another wand. While I normally loved hugs, it was a bit of a problem as Hagrid was leaning on me rather a lot and was several times heavier than I was. It was taking all of my effort not to collapse under his weight. Dumbledore, damn him, did nothing to help, instead humming merrily and helping himself to some tea while smiling at me the entire time.

Chapter Text

I stared at the group of little children sitting in front of me. The little children stared back at me. I gulped.

“Uhhhh.”

Thirty minutes earlier

I walked through the empty halls of Hogwarts with a smile on my face. I had just beat my personal record, getting thrown out of Potions class in a minute and forty two seconds. Since Snape couldn’t take points or assign detentions due to the fact that he was still on probation, Snape just kicked me out of the class whenever he could no longer stand me. I was pretty sure that refusing to teach me was against the rules, but I certainly wasn't going to go to McGonagall. Snape didn’t have to deal with me. I didn’t have to deal with Snape and got better grades by using the free period to self study. It was a win-win situation.

I dropped by the kitchens, handing out my latest batch of crocheted scarves to the house-elves. The crocheted scarves were lengths of rope tied into lots of knots and therefore not clothes, so the house elves had no problem wearing them. Perception was everything. The scarves were practically a part of their uniform by now. They were mainly black, with a row of red, yellow, blue and green on each end to represent the four Hogwarts houses.

Then I swung by the library to work on studying the 1945 International Treaty of Magical Rights. When the muggle world wrote up the Geneva Convention, the magical world had the ITMR.

Since magical communities were historically more secret societies than governments due to the persecution of magic, most magical communities focused on regulating wand use and the Statue of Secrecy, laws to hide the existence of magic from muggles. As a result, most laws about wizarding rights, like not getting executed without a fair trial, had been pushed to the side. After Grindewald’s war, the magical communities from around the globe banded together to write the ITMR.

While the ITMR was considered the wizarding version of the Geneva Convention due to the shared material and that the two sets of laws were written at the same time, the ITMR was so much more. It included an international set of basic rights similar to what you might find in the American Constitution. The International Treaty of Magical Rights was essentially a cross between the Geneva Convention and the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

It was all very interesting and I-

“Zo, we need your help,” Maggie said as she, Luna and Ginny came rushing up to me.

In a blink of an eye, I stood up, threw my sidebag over my shoulder and summoned both of my wands to my hand.

“Not that kind of help. You don’t need to fight anything. Come on, we’ll explain on the way,” Ginny said, pulling me out of the library.

“What’s going on?” I asked bemusedly.

“So, as you know, everybody is really afraid with all the Chamber attacks,” Ginny began.

“It’s hard being away from home as well,” Luna added.

“But everyone says that they feel better because you walk people to their classes whenever you can and give out hugs and comfort everybody in your own emotionally repressed way,” Maggie continued.

“Thanks?” I replied.

“So, you are hosting a meeting for all the first years to talk about how we feel and stuff,” Ginny told me.

“I am?” I asked, blankly. I was ninety percent sure I would remember agreeing to that.

“We forgot to tell you that we planned this,” Luna said with an exaggerated wink.

“Why me? Why not a Hufflepuff prefect? They’re better at emotions and comfort,” I said.

“Because everyone in our year knows that you would die to protect us. You are terrible at dealing with your own emotions but you are shockingly good at helping other people process their emotions in healthy ways,” Maggie said. “Plus you have hot cocoa and Chocolate Frogs.”

“Here we are,” Ginny said, opening the door to an abandoned classroom full of eleven and twelve year olds sitting on stolen cushions.

I stared at the group of little children sitting in front of me. The little children stared back at me. I gulped.

“Uhhhh.”

I recognized a decent amount of them from my detentions. I had a weekly detention with McGonagall since I did something detention worthy at least once a week. Since I was really good at Transfiguration even if I didn’t put that much effort into my homework, McGonagall often had me tutor first years who were struggling with Transfiguration.

“So, emotions. Highly annoying but they are important,” I said plopping down onto a cushion.

“It’s perfectly natural to be scared or worried in distressing times such as these,” I said.

“Even if we are Gryffindors?” Aiden Towler asked.

“Absolutely,” I said. “As a wise person once said, ‘Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but rather acknowledging that fear and continuing in spite of it’. I’m probably paraphrasing and I can’t remember who said that, but you get the point. It’s totally okay to be scared. I’m scared all the time.”

“You are?” Clarrissa Podmore asked skeptically.

“Yeah. For example, I’m afraid of flying. Being up in the air with only a thin stick as my support, it terrifies me. But I do it anyway. I learned cushioning charms in case I fell and that helped reassure me. Being afraid is a chemical response in your brain. I didn’t pay attention in science class so I can’t tell you much more than that, but I do know that it is a perfectly normal human reaction,” I said, pouring hot cocoa into a collection of mugs and passing them around.

“But I don’t like being scared,” Mary Peakes said.

“Well, that’s what prefects are for. You can talk to them about how you are feeling. They are there to support you. You can also come to me whenever you want for a hug, for a chat or even if you are just having a bad day and need some hot cocoa to cheer you up,” I reassured them.

“I’m scared of getting attacked by the monster. I mean, I know I’m a pureblood and a Slytherin, but I’m also friends with muggleborns and my big sister taught me that everybody's the same regardless of blood. But what if the monster attacks me for not supporting You-Know-Who like my parents?” Olivia Snyde asked.

“I don’t think that will happen. The monster seems to be targeting muggle borns and petrifying anybody who gets in it’s way, but I don’t think it’s smart enough to have kept up on the politics of the last few decades let alone know who you are,” I said to her. That didn’t come out like I intended. Luckily, Olivia seemed comforted by the idea that being anonymous would grant her some measure of protection.

“Besides,” I continued. “The monster hasn’t killed anybody yet. If you do get petrified, you will just be taking a nap for a few more months until the mandrakes are ready and then you will be woken up. You would probably have to do some makeup work over the summer, but you could rejoin the rest of your year in the fall.”

“What if somebody does die?” Evelyn Plank asked.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say that nobody is going to die, because I don’t know exactly what will happen.. But, if somebody does die, it is likely to be an Auror or one of the teachers. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens to any of you,” I promised.

“Is the Dark Lord behind this?” Hailey Rowle asked.

“Yes,” I said to shocked gasps. “I said I wouldn’t lie to you. Voldemort is behind this, but right now, he’s not that powerful. He was reduced to a spirit, barely more than a ghost when Harry’s mom defeated him. Last year, he made an attempt to come back, but my friends and I stopped him. He’s not anywhere close to full power. That’s why he is acting through Slytherin’s monster and he won’t succeed. I have full confidence that Moldyshorts will be stopped.”

"Did you just refer to You-Know-Who as Moldyshorts?” Olivia Snyde asked in horrified awe.

“Yes I did. We shouldn’t be afraid to say his name. I get that there was a taboo on the name Voldemort during the war, which is why people started referring to him as You-Know-Who, but that’s doing exactly what you want. You can also refer to him by his real name, Riddle, or by a funny version like Moldyshorts or No-Nose. That takes the power away from him,” I explained.

“Do you think he will come back to full power?” Ethan Plank asked.

“Yes. But it won’t be for a little while and like I said, I will do whatever I can to protect you. That includes those of you whose parents are Death Eaters, convicted or not. Your parents actions do not define yours and you get to make your own choices. If you need help getting away, just let me know,” I said, glancing over at the baby Slytherins. Most looked relieved at the prospect of having a choice.

“Thank you,” Olivia Snyde said, barreling into me and nearly knocking me onto my back.

“Of course,” I said.

I looked over at the little children sitting around me, looking up at me and promised myself that I wouldn’t let anything happen to them.

Chapter Text

“Alright everybody. I have great news!” I announced to my friends.

It was a Friday afternoon and we were done with school for the week, so naturally I was in a good mood. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George, Neville, Maggie, Luna, Ginny and I were gathered in our attic hangout along with pastries that the twins had grabbed from the kitchen.

“Please tell me you didn’t do anything illegal,” Hermione groaned.

“Not this time. I just bribed someone to do illegal stuff,” I told her.

“That’s still illegal,” Hermione pointed out.

“Anyway,” I said. “We all know that Lockhart doesn’t know jack shit and thought that he made up all of that stuff in his books, right. Wrong! Those things actually happened, but somebody else did them. Lockhart tracked them down, got those people to tell him what happened, obliviated them and took credit for their successes.”

“That makes sense,” Maggie said.

“I always thought that he wasn’t smart enough to come up with those stories himself,” Ginny added.

“Lockhart has more Wrackspurts in his head than anybody else I’ve met,” Luna told us.

“And now, I have a bunch of evidence of all of this stuff. So I thought that we should take a vote on what to do with this information, because yay democracy. We could always blackmail him, although I don’t know what we would blackmail him into. We could quietly make him disappear. We could leak this all to the press. Or we could send the evidence to the DMLE and the press. What do you think?” I asked.

Fred and George voted for blackmailing him into something to be determined at a later date. Maggie voted for giving him a taste of his own medicine and obliviating him. Luna and Ginny voted for anonymously sending the evidence to the Prophet and then watching what happened. The rest of us, at Hermione’s urging, voted for letting the DMLE now. Although we unanimously decided to make it as much of a public spectacle as possible.

Which is how all ten of us were sitting at the Ravenclaw table at lunchtime, McGonagall shooting us suspicious looks. She had a truly unnerving ability to tell when we were up to something. Then again, we were almost always up to something. Lockhart was sitting at the High Table, completely oblivious to his impending demise. Rita Skeeter was hovering around here somewhere in beetle form, having been tipped off by me.

The doors to the Great Hall boomed open. In walked Madam Bones, flanked by Shaklebolt, Tonks and a bunch of other Aurors.

“Showtime,” I said, pulling out a giant bowl of popcorn and my phone.

“Gilderoy Lockhart, you are under arrest for eight counts of fraud, thirty eight counts of illegal obliviation, eighteen counts of reckless endangerment of a minor and one count of assault of a minor,” Madam Bones announced as the other Aurors walked up to the Head Table.

“What in Merlin’s name is going on? I’ve never committed a crime in my life,” Lockhart said, standing up.

“Surrender your wand and come peacefully or I will add a count of resisting arrest to the charges against you,” Madam Bones continued.

The Aurors pulled Lockhart’s wand out of his hands and cuffed them together while he stared in disbelief.

“Madam Bones, may I ask what is going on?” Dumbledore asked.

“We have recently received evidence that not only did Lockhart not commit the actions he claims to in his books, he obliviated the people that did do those heroic deeds and those who knew about it so that he may take credit for their actions. Furthermore, he released a swarm of Cornish Pixies in a class of second years before leaving them to fend for themselves resulting in several visiting the Hospital Wing and later removed all the bones from a minor’s arm against his will. We also have an ongoing investigation that is likely to uncover more crimes,” Madam Bones said.

“Ah, very well then. I suppose I am down a Defense teacher once again,” Dumbledore said, looking very pleased with this turn of events.

The Aurors dragged a protesting Lockhart out of the Hall, Tonks sending us a wink on her way out. As soon as the doors shut behind them, everybody erupted into conversations. McGonagall sent us a “I know that you were behind this” look. I smiled back at her.

“You had something to do with this, didn’t you?” Lavender asked, leaning over to talk to me.

“Oh absolutely,” I confirmed.

The next morning, there was an article in the prophet about Lockhart’s arrest, everything he did, including a lot of evidence that Rita had clearly snuck into the DMLE to get. It was highly worrying that somebody could sneak into what was a cross between the police and the FBI and nobody even noticed. I put that on the list of things to ask Hermione to change once she was Minister of Magic.

Dumbledore announced that the DADA classes for fifth and seventh years would be taken over by other teachers for the remainder of the school year. The rest of us would study in the library during our DADA class time, overseen by Madam Pince. Those struggling in DADA would be tutored by sixth year volunteers. All DADA tests except for the OWLs and NEWTs were canceled. One of my portrait informants told me that this was standard procedure when a DADA teacher got taken out by the curse before exams.

“I can’t believe that they just canceled tests for Defense. It’s outrageous. How else are we supposed to measure our progress,” Hermione ranted to Harry, Ron and I in the ROR. Harry and Ron were playing Exploding Snap. I was snacking on a bezoar.

“Look, you’re the top of our class. You were the top of our class last year. If we took the test, you would get the top grade. Our end of year exams are just estimates for how we will do on the OWLs and NEWTs, which are the only things that really matter,” I told her.

“I suppose,” Hermione said reluctantly.

“Besides, if Lockhart was still teaching, we would just get an exam on what his favorite hair products are, not anything useful. The only reason we have learned anything at all this year is because we are self-studying. And you can already cast all of the spells we studied this year, so boom, you pass,” I reasoned.

“Yeah, I guess you are right,” Hermione said. “Wait. Are you eating a bezoar?”

“Yeah, if I eat enough of these then I will become immune to poison.”

“That’s not how it works,” Hermione said.

“Yeah it is. I want it to work like that, therefore it works like that,” I explained.

“Argh!” Hemione said in exasperation. She got really annoyed when I casually broke the laws of magic with sheer willpower.

Andromeda sent us an owl later that week, saying that Lockhart’s trial had been scheduled for late June, after school got out. That meant that I could go without having to sneak out of Hogwarts, which was nice. 

One less test and Lockhart got what he deserved. I smiled in satisfaction.

Chapter Text

As June began, rumors began circulating that the Ministry was going to do an in-depth search over the summer to find the Chamber. If it wasn’t found by September, the castle would be shut down until it was and the Ministry would find another location to move the entire school to.

The night before the last Quidditch match of the season, I went to bed feeling like I was forgetting something terribly important.

In the morning, I got up right before the match, got dressed and ate a breakfast sandwich on my way down to the pitch.

“Hey Zo,” Ron said as I sat down next to Ron. It was a few minutes before the match started and the Quidditch players were either doing warm up flights or last minute strategy discussions.

“Hey Ron. Are Hermione, Harry and Ginny not here yet?” I asked. I heard Hermione wake up an hour to go and get breakfast before the game.

“Ginny went to talk to Percy about something urgent and Hermione went to the library to look something up,” Ron told me.

“SHIT!”

“Zo, what is it?”

I had already leapt out of my seat and was racing towards the pitch, Ron right behind me. McGonagall came onto the field at the same time as me with a megaphone.

“This match has been cancelled! All students are to make their way back to the House common rooms, where further information has been posted. All staff members and Aurors meet in the staffroom as soon as you are able to. As quickly as you can, please!”

McGonagall lowered the megaphone and turned to where Harry, Ron and I had run up to the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, “Potter, Hawk, Weasleys, you had best come with me.”

“What is it?” Harry asked as we all entered the castle and headed towards the Hospital Wing.

We entered to see a Ravenclaw prefect and-

“Hermione!”

“I’m afraid that’s not all. In addition to Ms. Clearwater and Ms. Granger being attacked, two students were taken into the Chamber itself. A message was written on the wall beneath the first one: Their skeletons will lie in the Chamber forever .”

“Who was taken?” Harry asked.

“Percy and Ginny Weasley,” McGonagall informed us solemnly.

“NO!”

“I’m terribly sorry. We will do everything we can to retrieve them, but for now the five of you must return to your Common Rooms.”

I glanced beside me. Fred and George were sitting on the floor, staring in shock. Ron was frozen in place, not being able to comprehend what McGonagall had said.

“Of course. I think they need a moment though,” I said, gesturing to the Weasley siblings.

“Very well,” McGonagall said sympathetically. “I have to go. You promise that you will all go straight to your common rooms?”

“We will,” I said honestly.

As soon as the doors of the Hospital Wing shut behind McGonagall, I turned around to face my friends.

“Alright, get up. You can’t help Percy and Ginny like this.”

“You’ll save her?” Ron asked.

“ We’ll save her,” I corrected, leading us all out of the Hospital Wing. “Harry, use the notebooks, tell Neville, Maggie and Luna to grab their wands, any weapons they have, dress for battle and meet us in Myrtle’s bathroom in fifteen minutes.”

“So what are we going to do?” Ron asked.

“We’re going to our dorms. It will be easier to explain all at once. When we get to our dorms, change out of robes, into something more maneuverable and grab all the weapons you can find. I know I gave each of you a dagger, you’re going to need it. Fred, George, any smoke bombs you have or other pranking supplies that could be useful, get those. Everybody meet up in Myrtle's bathroom.”

We entered the Ravenclaw Common Room and sprinted up the stairs before anybody could try to talk to us.

I immediately traded my blue sweater and Ravenclaw robes for a pair of cargo pants, a long sleeved t-shirt and jacket. My goblin made sword and dagger were attached to my belt and I put both my wands in my wrist holsters. Dozens of knives, healing potions and other handy equipment were tucked into my various pockets. I loved expandable pockets.

“What are you doing?” Padma asked from the open doorway.

“Gonna kill a basilisk. No time to talk,” I said, pushing past her, down the stairs and then up the stairs to the boys' dorms.

Harry, Ron, Maggie and Luna were already there and ready for action. I quickly Disillusioned all of us and we hurried to the portrait hole.

“Are we going to-”

“-Myrtle’s bathroom?”

“Yep”

Fred, George and Neville were already waiting for us in Myrtle’s bathroom. I quickly handed out goggles and walkie-talkies.

“Here. These are military grade goggles. They will work better than the Gaze Glasses as well as having infrared and x-ray capabilities. The walkie-talkies will allow us to talk to each other.

“The monster is a basilisk. Their gazes are deadly but when using the Gaze Glasses or when seen in a reflection, the victim is only petrified. It has been getting around through the pipes. Voldemort put a portion of his soul in a small black book when he was a teenager, called a Horcrux. He has been possessing Percy through that notebook. It can’t be destroyed through normal means. But basilisk venom can destroy it.

“Maggie and Luna, you are going to stay up here and monitor the situation. Before you say anything, I do need someone to stay up here just in case. We will keep in contact via walkie-talkies. If you don’t hear from us for over an hour once we enter the main Chamber, one of you should go get a teacher and the other one will stay here to monitor. Okay?”

“But I want to help,” Maggie protested.

“You are helping. But you're helping in a way that doesn’t directly put you in danger. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you,” I told her.

“Alright,” she agreed.

“Harry, one of the sinks has a snake engraved on the faucet tap. Hiss ‘Open’ in Parseltongue at it,” I instructed.

“It’s that one,” Luna said, pointing at a sink.

Harry approached it and hissed. The circle of sinks moved outwards and the top moved upwards. The sink with the snake tap sunk into a grate, revealing a pipe that was at least ten feet in diameter.

Without any hesitation, I jumped in.

Sliding down the pipe was awesome. Sure it was filthy and slimy, but it was better than any slide I had ever been on, even the giant ones at amusement parks. It ranked above the Knight Bus but below the Gringotts Cart in terms of funness.

I shot out of the pipe, landing on the Cushioning Charm that I had had the foresight to cast. I got up and rolled out of the way as Harry, Ron, Neville, Fred and George came sliding down in quick succession and piled on top of each other.

“The goggles have a headlight feature. Push the button in the middle of your forehead,” I instructed. Six lights clicked on, illuminating a damp landing space and tunnel. 

“Mission Control to Chamber Team,” Maggie’s voice came in from the walkie-talkie. She was taking her job quite seriously.

“Zo here. We’re quite a distance underneath the school and in a tunnel leading to the Chamber itself. How’s it looking up there?” I replied.

“The entrance closed back up,” Maggie said. “Myrtle came out of her toilet and Luna is currently telling her that you are in the Chamber. Myrtle says good luck.”

“Thanks. Zo out.”

We continued on until a shape emerged from the darkness.

“Guys, there’s something up there,” Ron said.

I glanced up, “It’s just a snakeskin. Neville, you call Mission Control.”

I took a length of rope from my sidebag and wrapped it around the torso of the snakeskin. I knotted the rope and tapped my wand saying “Gringotts.” Sure enough, it disappeared.

“Ahh!” Ron shrieked. “Stupefy.”

I turned around. There was a spider skittering along the edge of the tunnel. The light from our wands caused the spider to cast a shadow on the wall that was over six feet tall. The rocks began to shake and fall from the force of the stunner.

“Fuck,” I swore loudly.

I threw individual shielding charms over all of us as rocks poured down around us. Once it stopped, I let go of the shield charms and inspected the damage. Harry, Ron and I were stuck on one side of the rock pile on the side that led deeper into the Chamber. Neville, Fred and George were on the other side, leading back to the pipe slide.

“Everyone okay?” I asked. I got back a round of affirmatives.

“Zo, can you move it?” Neville asked.

“I mean yeah, but I'm not sure how stable this is. I could just as easily worsen the damage and bury us all. It is probably best if you try to move them one at a time and create enough space for us to get through.”

“Okay. Is my wand over on that side?” Neville asked.

I looked around and winced, “Yeah but it’s broken. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Neville replied, rather chiper. “That’s my dad’s old one and Gran promised to get me my own wand this summer anyway. She will probably be impressed that I broke it by doing something so brave and won’t even be mad at me.”

“Okay,” I said, deciding to leave Neville’s family problems for another day.

“Well, we’re going to go kill a basilisk and a teenage Voldemort. If we die, make sure we have awesome funerals,” I said.

“You got it,” the twins chorused.

We continued to walk on until we got to a circular door with seven snakes.

“Chamber Team to Rock Team and Mission Control. We are at the entrance to the inner Chamber, about to enter,” I said into the walkie-talkie.

“We’re the Rock Team?” Neville asked.

“Yes, it’s either Cave-In Team or Rock Team and Rock Team sounds cooler,” Maggie said.

“Okay, don’t radio us until we contact you. Don’t want to let Riddle know that we have backup. One hour, then you go get a professor. Capisce?”

“Capisce.”

I tucked the walkie-talkie into one of my many pockets and turned to my friends.

“Alright. In order to defeat Riddle, we need basilisk venom. So we need to stall for a bit. Once he summons the basilisk, Ron you grab Ginny and Percy and get out. Harry, you try to talk to the basilisk, get it to back off. Probably won’t work but it will buy us time for Ron to get his siblings out. Then we kill the basilisk, grab a fang and stab the diary. It’s likely that one of us will get poisoned with basilisk venom, but don’t worry, I planned for that. Questions?”

“How do we kill it?”

“Luck, badassery and intelligence,” I replied.

“So we wing it?” Harry asked.

“Yep. Let’s fuck shit up and try not to die,” I said.

Harry hissed at the door, it opened and we entered the Chamber of Secrets.

Chapter Text

The door slid open and the three of us stepped into the Chamber of Secrets.

Giant statues of snake heads lined the sides of a long chamber. Inside each statue of a snake head was an alcove capable of fitting up to ten people. Between those, tunnels led away from the main chamber. Shallow pools of water were on each side of a stone walkway, leading up to a giant statue of Salazar Slytherin. In front of that, lay Percy and Ginny.

We raced up to them. I knelt and grabbed Ginny’s wrist, feeling for a pulse. Once I found one I turned to Percy, conveniently grabbing the arm that held the diary and knocking it a few feet away from him.

“Zo?” Ron asked.

“They’re both alive, but Percy’s pulse is weak,” I said.

“He won’t wake. The girl, however, is merely unconscious,” a smooth voice said from behind us.

I turned around, standing up and drawing my wand in one fluid motion, “Tom Riddle, I assume?”

“Accio,” Riddle said, summoning the wand I held to his hand. Joke’s on him, that was a fake from Fred and George that would turn into a rubber duck as soon as he tried to cast a spell.

“What did you do to them?” Ron asked.

“Ah yes. Percy here found my diary and began to write in it. He told me all about how he struggled, but nobody would take him seriously. How he was patronized by his older brothers and mocked by his younger siblings. So Percy poured out his soul to me, and his soul happened to be exactly what I wanted... I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of his deepest fears, his darkest secrets. I grew powerful, far more powerful than Mister Weasley. Powerful enough to start feeding Percy a few of my secrets, to start pouring a little of my soul back into him,” Riddle monologued.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“Haven’t you guessed yet, Harry Potter?” said Riddle softly. “Percy Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets. He strangled the school roosters and daubed threatening messages on the walls. He set the Serpent of Slytherin on the Mudbloods, and the Squib’s cat.”

“No,” Harry whispered.

“Yes,” said Riddle, calmly. “Of course, he didn’t know what he was doing at first. It was very amusing. I wish you could have seen his new diary entries... far more interesting, they became... Dear Tom,” he recited. “‘I think I’m losing my memory. There are rooster feathers all over my robes and I don’t know how they got there. Dear Tom, I can’t remember what I did on the night of Halloween, but a cat was attacked and I’ve got paint all down my front. Dear Tom, the twins keep telling me I’m pale as a ghost and I’m not myself. I think they suspect me... There was another attack today and I don’t know where I was. Tom, what am I going to do? I think I’m going mad... I think I’m the one attacking everyone, Tom!’”

I slid both my wands out of my wrist holsters and into my hands, holding them so that it was not visible to Riddle.

“From what Percy told me, it was clear to me that you were on the trail of Slytherin’s heir. From everything Percy had told me about you and your little friends, I knew you would go to any lengths to solve the mystery, particularly if one of your closest friends was attacked. And Percy had told me the whole school was buzzing because you could speak Parseltongue so I made Percy write his own farewell on the wall and come down here to wait. Unfortunately, his little sister became too inquisitive for her own good and followed Percy. She saw him write the message and open the chamber. I knew she was also friends with you so I decided she could make for additional bait and stunned her and brought her down here. Percy put up quite a fight at that. But there isn’t much life left in him... He put too much into the diary, into me. Enough to let me leave its pages at last... I have been waiting for you to appear since we arrived here. I knew you’d come. I have many questions for you, Harry Potter.”

“Like what?” Harry spat, fists clenched.

“Well,” said Riddle, smiling pleasantly, “How is it that you, a skinny boy with no extraordinary magical talent, managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort’s powers were destroyed?”

“Greatest wizard of all time?” I asked with a snort. “Big ego you have there. Dumbledore’s far more powerful than you, not to mention he never got defeated by a baby who wasn’t even out of diapers.”

“Ah, so do you know who I became. I was wondering about that. Lord Voldemort was a name I was already using at Hogwarts, to my most intimate friends only, of course. You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father’s name forever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my mother’s side? I, keep the name of a foul, common Muggle, who abandoned me even before I was born, just because he found out his wife was a witch? No, Harry, I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I had become the greatest sorcerer in the world!

“You’re not,” Harry said coolly.

“Not what?” snapped Riddle.

“Not the greatest sorcerer in the world. You’re nothing more than a coward. Even when you were strong, you didn’t dare try and take over at Hogwarts. Dumbledore saw through you when you were at school and he still frightens you now, wherever you’re hiding these days,” Harry said.

Music filled the chamber. Riddle whirled around to stare down the empty Chamber. The music was growing louder. It was eerie, spine-tingling, unearthly. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my heart feel as though it was swelling to twice its normal size. I fought to keep a tear from leaking out of my eye. Then, as the music reached such a pitch that I felt it vibrating inside my own ribs, flames erupted at the top of the nearest pillar. A crimson bird the size of a swan had appeared, piping its weird music to the vaulted ceiling. It had a glittering golden tail as long as a peacock’s and gleaming golden talons, which were gripping the Sorting Hat.

A second later, the bird was flying straight at us. It dropped the Sorting Hat it was carrying at our feet, then landed heavily on Harry’s shoulder. As it folded its great wings, I looked up and saw it had a long, sharp golden beak and a beady black eye. The bird stopped singing. It sat still and warm next to Harry’s cheek, gazing steadily at Riddle.

“That’s a phoenix.” said Riddle, staring shrewdly back at it.

“Well spotted,” I said sarcastically.

“Fawkes,” Harry breathed in awe.

“This is what Dumbledore sends his great defenders! A songbird and an old hat! Do you feel brave? Do you feel safe now?

“Yes. I’ve always wanted my death to have a musical accompaniment,” I said.

“Really, Zo?”

“It’s very important,” I said in total seriousness.

“To business, Harry,” said Riddle, upset that we weren’t paying attention to his monologue. “Twice, in your past, in my future, we have met. And twice I failed to kill you. How did you survive? Tell me everything. The longer you talk,” he added softly, “the longer you stay alive.”

“When you shot the Killing Curse at me, the sheer force of baby-me’s adorableness deflected it and blasted you to near death,” said Harry, who had been taking lessons in bullshitting and sarcasm from me.

“Fine then,” Riddle snarled. I’m going to teach you a little lesson. Let’s match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter, his friends and the best weapons Dumbledore can give them.”

Chapter Text

Riddle hissed at the statue of Slytherin menacingly. It would probably be scarier if I could understand him. He actually looked kinda funny.

Ron snuck behind Riddle and grabbed Ginny and Percy and began dragging them to the entrance of the chamber. The opening of Slytherin’s statue slid open and I heard the basilisk coming. 

“Stupefy,” I shouted, casting a spell at Riddle. It sailed through him harmlessly. I could hear the basilisk moving out of the tunnel.

He sneered at me and tried to cast a spell. The wand he had grabbed from me abruptly turned into a rubber chicken and ba-bawked at him. Riddle looked utterly dumbfounded. I took advantage of his surprise to take a picture, because his face was funny enough to risk my life for a photo, then I threw a dagger at him.

It also passed through him without harming him although Riddle did give a brief wince. He was gradually becoming more solid.

The basilisk slid into the main part of the chamber. I glanced at the floor beside me, seeing Harry’s legs standing next to me. With my eyes screwed shut I unleashed a barrage of curses, many less than legal, at the basilisk.

Based on the screeching sounds it made, it wasn’t seriously hurt and was more mad than anything else. A swoosh of air moving prompted me to grab Harry’s sleeve and yank us both to the side. We dove into the shallow pools of water on the side of the walkway just in time to avoid getting bitten in two by the basilisk.

“Okay so spells don’t work, what next?” Harry asked.

With a melodic cry, Fawkes launched into the air. I took a risk and opened my eyes, looking at the shadows cast on the far wall. Fawkes was diving at the basilisk’s head, presumably clawing its eyes out, as one does. After a few moments, Fawkes gave a trill that sounded like a thumbs up. I dared to glance up and sure enough, the basilisk’s eye sockets were bloody messes and it was trying to catch Fawkes.

“NO!” Riddle screamed. “LEAVE THE BIRD! LEAVE THE BIRD! THE KIDS ARE BEHIND YOU. YOU CAN STILL SMELL THEM. KILL THEM!”

“Next up, poison arrows,” I announced, pulling a bow and arrow out of my sidebag and shooting it at the basilisk. It deflected off of the basilisk’s scales. I ducked into one of the alcoves and fired off a few more arrows before giving that particular avenue up as a lost cause. I rolled out of the way, dodging another one of the basilisk’s strikes, put the bow back in my bag and joined Harry, who had been hurling grenade bombs at the basilisk.

“Your sidebag never ceases to amaze me,” Harry said, jumping up in the air to avoid the basilisk’s tail.

“Thanks! I got the idea from Mary Poppins. We’ll have to watch it once this is over,” I replied.

I hurled a couple of dungbombs around the chamber at random so the basilisk couldn’t smell us and the smoke would prevent Riddle from seeing us while Harry’s and my goggles would allow us to see.

“So spells and arrows don’t work. The scales are resistant to all attacks so we will have to get up close. Weak spots are its mouth and eyes because there aren’t scales there and we can stab through to the brain. With me so far?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said.

“So I’ll run around like a headless chicken and distract the basilisk, you get to the Sorting Hat, yeet the sword at me, I’ll do that move that Drax did in the opening scene of Guardians of the Galaxy two because it was awesome and I want to see if it would work in real life, then you grab a fang and kill the diary,” I said.

“I didn’t understand any of that,” Harry said.

“Lovely, let’s do this,'' I said, casting a Bubblehead Charm over myself.

“Wait, Zo no-”

“THE SKY IS FALLING!” I shouted at the top of my lungs as I ran from behind the debris that Harry and I had been crouching behind. “THE SKY IS FALLING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

The basilisk swung around and began chasing after me. When I ran past Riddle, I paused for a fraction of a second to punch him in the face, resulting in a resounding crack before I resumed running like my life depended on it, which it did. Riddle was too busy clutching his bleeding nose to notice Harry sneaking towards the Sorting Hat.

Harry stared at the hat for a couple of moments, turning it over before he thought to stick his hand in it and pulled out a beautifully dangerous sword with a gold hilt encrusted with rubies.

“Catch,” Harry shouted, tossing the sword at me.

Through a mixture of sheer dumb luck and instictive magic, I managed to catch the sword without getting stabbed. I abruptly turned on my heel and charged at the basilisk. The basilisk, which was chasing me with it's mouth wide open, trying to eat me, was entirely unprepared for me turning around and jumping into its mouth.

I leapt into its mouth, bypassing the venomous fangs and stabbing Gryffindor’s sword through the roof of the basilisk’s mouth and into the brain. The basilisk flailed about, waving its head wildly before falling still. This was quite unfortunate as I was in its mouth at the time and got violently thrown onto the ground, my leg getting scratched by the fangs as I flew out of the basilisk’s mouth. Uh oh.

“Zo,” Harry said, rushing over to me.

I pushed myself upwards, furiously blinking back the colored spots that were swarming my vision.

“Fang, diary, stabby stab,” I instructed succinctly before letting my head drop back onto the ground.

I faintly heard Riddle yelling, as if it was from far, far away. I blinked, trying to get the ceiling to stop swaying and coming into focus. I could feel my body urging me to rest, to let go as I struggled to stay awake.

“Hey Fawkes, I could use some help,” I said in the same tone I would use to ask Hermione about homework. Fawkes flew over to me and began crying onto my leg.

“Thanks buddy. You’re the best,” I said, becoming more aware and pulling myself to my feet.

I glanced over just in time to see Riddle turn into golden light, desperately reaching for the diary which Harry had just stabbed.

“Oh thank Merlin. That was way more terrifying than last year,” Harry said, letting out a laugh of relief.

“Yeah but the more dangerous the more fun,” I said with a smile.

I pulled out a pair of dragonhide gloves and several daggers, stabbing them through the roof of the basilisk’s mouth and then placing them in their sheaths before tucking them back into my sidebag.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked.

“Lacing my daggers with basilisk venom. It will come in really handy later on, especially during our seventh year or lack thereof,” I explained.

“Because it killed the diary?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, the diary is a horcrux and horcruxes can only be destroyed by very rare things such as basilisk venom and fiendfyre,” I said, moving on to collecting venom in a vial.

I finished up with the basilisk venom and moved on to tying a rope around the basilisk and portkeying it off to Gringotts. Harry called our friends on the walkie-talkies and told them that we were alive. We grabbed the diary and Gryffindor’s Sword and exited the main chamber.

Chapter Text

“Oh thank goodness you two are alright,” Ginny said, tackling us in a hug. “Ron told me what happened.”

The three Weasley’s were waiting right outside the entrance to the main part of the chamber. Ron and Ginny had been sitting next to Percy, who was lying on the ground with Ginny’s robes balled up under his head as a pillow.

“I was really worried there,” Ron said, joining us in the group hug.

“It will take more than a thousand year old basilisk and a teenage Voldemort to kill us,” I said.

“How’s Percy?” Harry asked, gesturing at where Percy was lying on the ground.

“His pulse is steady and his skin warmed up. He seems like he’s sleeping instead of dying,” Ginny reported.

“That’s good,” Harry said.

I crouched down next to Percy and poked his cheek, “Time to wake up buddy.”

Percy moaned and sat up, “Zo, Ron, Harry, Ginny, it’s Voldemort. He’s in the Diary and he was possessing me. He made me release the basilisk and petrify all those poor people. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. We already took care of Voldemort and everything is alright,” I explained.

“Yeah, who knows, Voldemort might even stay dead for over a year this time,” Harry said.

“It’s all my fault. I’m going to get expelled and then I’ll never work for the Ministry and I’ll have to live in the attic with the ghoul,” Percy wailed.

“No you're not. You were mind controlled,” Ron said.

“Besides, why would you need to move into the attic? You have your own room and we’ve already claimed the attic as our hangout,” Ginny pointed out.

“Ginny, I’m so sorry. I tried to stop Riddle from stunning you, but I couldn’t.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ginny assured him.

“I thought he was just a smart prefect and then when that article was released, saying that Voldemort was Riddle, but by then it was too late and he was in my mind and I was just watching from inside my mind while he controlled all of my actions and-”

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. You won’t be in any trouble. Even if you don’t make Head Boy next year, you’re still a prefect and that’s pretty good as far as resumes go. It won’t ruin your career,” I said.

“You think that this will ruin my chance at Head Boy?” Percy asked in despair.

“Uh, no? Look at it like this. We still have a couple weeks left this year. Just help some firsties with homework, tattle on some teenagers making out in a broom closet, I’ll let you bust me doing something against the rules, you’ll be a shoo-in for Head Boy,” I reassured. “Especially if you get some therapy over the summer.”

“You would let me catch you and get you detention?” Percy asked hopefully.

“Yeah, why not? I have a weekly detention with McGonagall no matter how many pranks I pull, so it won’t affect how many detentions I get. And all she has me doing is tutoring firsties, so it’s not like I mind detention,” I said with a shrug.

“Thank you,” Percy said, bursting into tears.

“There, there, it’s okay,” I said, hugging him. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“Okay, let’s get going. I get the feeling that you broke a lot of rules to come save us,” Percy said.

“Well we were either going to succeed, in which case we wouldn’t get in trouble for heroically killing the basilisk and saving you, or we would die, in which case we couldn’t get into trouble,” I explained.

“That’s sound reasoning, if a bit morbid,” Percy said as Ron helped him to his feet.

When we reached the rock cave in, Neville and the twins had managed to shift enough rocks that there was a two foot by two foot hole that we could climb through.

“Ginny! Percy!”

As soon as they made it through, Ginny and Percy were pulled into a group hug by Fred and George.

“I survived too you know,” Ron pointed out, and was hastily enveloped into the Weasley hug.

“You found the Sword of Gryffindor,” Neville commented in a why-am-I-even-surprised-at-this-point tone of voice.

“Well I did say I would,” I said.

“I found it,” Harry said.

“Well yeah but I told you where to find it and then played distraction while you found it,” I shot back.

“Get off you two,” Ginny said, ducking out of Fred and George’s embrace after several minutes had passed. “How do we get up the pipe?”

“Harry, I need you to hiss ‘stairs’ at the pipe,” I said on a hunch.

“Stairs,” Harry hissed menacingly.

“In Parseltongue,” I clarified.

“Yeah, yeah just a sec,” Harry said before concentrating and hissing out something snakely.

Stairs emerged from the smooth stone of the pipes, moving upward. It was just like Dumbledore’s office. I spared a moment to wonder if it was a wizard who thought up muggle escalators before making a note to research it with Hermione once she was cured.

“Huh, that worked,” I said, stepping onto the magic escalator.

“You didn’t know it would?” Neville asked.

“I was 63.8% sure it would work. If not, we would have just followed canon and hitched a ride on Fawkes,” I explained. Harry shrugged at this while everybody else stared at me and then collectively decided they didn’t want to ask. 

We approached the top of the pipe and stepped out into the bathroom. Behind us, the entrance closed up. Luna and Maggie, who had been sitting on the ground and playing chess while Myrtle watched, looked up at us.

“You’re alive!” Maggie exclaimed, despite the fact that we had talked to her over the walkie-talkies a couple of minutes ago.

“I knew Mother Magic wouldn’t let you fail,” Luna said.

“Thanks,” I said.

We all gave each other another round of “congrats on not dying” hugs and walked into the hallway.

“So what now? Do we just go back to our dorms or do we let someone know that you killed a basilisk?” Maggie asked.

“Well, we should probably be responsible and go tell Dumbledore,” I said, regretfully thinking of a warm bath.

Chapter Text

“We return victorious!” I said, leading the way into Dumbledore’s office, Gryffindor’s Sword raised proudly in the air.

Behind me, Ginny was sitting on Fred and George’s shoulders. Harry was holding a paper shopping bag containing Riddle’s Diary, given he hadn’t wanted to touch it. Ron was comforting Percy, who was still quite upset. Luna was walking along completely unbothered, like this happened every day. Maggie was wearing the Sorting Hat on her head and holding a mental conversation with it? them? from the look of it. Neville brought up the rear, being used as a perch by Fawkes and looking highly uncomfortable about it.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley were all sitting around Dumbledore’s desk.

“You’re alright!” Mrs. Weasley said, pulling Ginny down from her brothers’ shoulders and attempting to hug all ten of us at once. “I was so worried.”

“Thank Merlin you’re all okay, what happened?” Mr Weasley asked.

“It’s all my fault,” Percy said, breaking out into tears again. Ron hastily passed Percy over to Mrs. Weasley, who began her motherly fussing.

“I punched Voldemort in the face and broke his nose, because Voldemort still had a nose as a teenager,” I said proudly before adding, “And then I got eaten by the basilisk, killed the basilisk and then Harry killed Voldemort again.”

“Wait what?” Mr. Weasley asked.

Mrs. Weasley turned her attention from a struggling Percy, who took the chance to escape, and started fussing over me. One of the Hogwarts house elves appeared with a tray of hot cocoas. I downed mine like a shot, needing the sugar because my adrenaline was wearing off, and burned my tongue.

“I presume you disobeyed my instructions to stay in your common rooms?” McGonagall asked dryly.

“Actually, you only told us to go to our common rooms without detours, which we did. We only stayed there long enough to grab some weapons and prank supplies. So technically, we didn’t disobey you,” I pointed out smugly.

“Detention.”

“So then we went to Myrtle’s bathroom and Harry hissed at the sink, which opened the Chamber of Secrets,” Maggie said.

“The Chamber of Secrets was in a girls’ bathroom this whole time?” McGonagall asked.

“Yeah and when you guys ‘searched the whole castle from top to bottom’, I’m guessing you just did so magically and didn’t physically look around. Because there was a snake engraved on the tap and frankly, I’m shocked nobody noticed that sooner. It’s a pretty big plothole,” I said.

“The ditches in the road that makes the car bounce?” Ron asked in confusion.

“Those are potholes,” Harry told Ron, as he was the only other person in the room with a muggle childhood.

“So Zo made the firsties stay in-”

“-the bathroom safe and out of-”

“-harm’s way because she’s protective-”

“-and the rest of us went in.”

“Why didn’t you get a teacher?” Mr. Weasley asked.

“We would have if we didn’t hear from them for over an hour,” Maggie supplied.

“Then there was a rock cave in,” Neville said, taking a turn at storytelling. “And we were trapped on one side while Harry, Ron and Zo were on the other side.”

“So we went into the main chamber. Riddle had been possessing Percy and was draining his life force while Ginny had been stunned by Riddle because she found out what was happening. Riddle monologued, Zo was her usual sarcastic self and as soon as Riddle summoned the basilisk, I grabbed Ginny and Percy and got out of there per the plan,” Ron continued.

“And thus commenced a mighty battle for the fate of Hogwarts, filled with many perils and dangers the likes of which we had never faced before-” I began dramatically.

“We fought, nothing worked, I pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat, threw it Zo, the basilisk ate Zo, Zo killed the basilisk and got scratched with basilisk venom, I used one of the basilisk’s fangs to stab Riddle’s diary, Fawkes cried, Zo got better. The End,” Harry said succinctly.

“Aww, why did you have to take the fun out of it?” I asked with a pout.

“Basilisk venom!?! You poor dear!” I found myself enveloped in another hug by Mrs. Weasley.

“Diary?” Mr. Weasley asked.

“Oh yeah, it was Riddle’s childhood diary that he put a piece of his soul into and gave it to Malfoy for protection. Malfoy slipped it into Percy’s books in Diagon Alley when he got into a fistfight with you Mr. Weasley,” I explained, gesturing at the paper bag on Dumbledore’s desk.

“Speaking of which,” Luna spoke up. “Five, four, three, two, one.”

The doors to the Headmaster’s office banged open and in strode Lucius Malfoy, the epitome of a cliche villain. Dobby limped behind him.

“Dumbledore,” he sneered.

“Malfoy,” we all said in unison, tones ranging from downright murderous (Mrs. Weasley) to disgust (me) to contempt (Mr. Weasley) to hatred (Ron) to politically polite disdain (Dumbledore). It was quite a spectacular moment that we all managed to be so in sync.

Dumbledore and Malfoy began talking in political doublespeak, being perfectly polite while making it clear that they hated each other. Percy was actually taking notes on their conversation.

I pulled a sock, deep purple with golden shooting stars, out from my sidebag. Harry and I exchanged a silent conversation of hand gestures.

“These are all baseless accusations. Even if I had done what you say, you have absolutely no evidence,” Malfoy said pompously.

“For now,” Dumbledore agreed, eyes twinkling. “But the truth always finds a way to come out eventually.”

“If that is all, I will be going,” Malfoy said, turning to leave.

“Wait,” I said snarkily, pulling the Diary off of Dumbledore’s desk and slipping the sock inside. “You forgot your evil book of doom.”

I made sure to use an annoyed tone of voice, looking like a twelve year old girl frustrated at a lack of evidence instead of a lawyer trying to incriminate him. Evidently it worked as Malfoy took one glance at the Diary and tossed it to Dobby.

“Like I said, you have no evidence, only baseless accusations,” he sneered. Behind him, Harry gestured for Dobby to open the book.

“Master had given Dobby a sock! Dobby is free!” Dobby said in excitement.

Malfoy looked behind him at Dobby in horror and then turned, drew his wand and pointed it at me. I smirked and raised an eyebrow, daring him to curse me in a room full of witnesses.

“You filthy mudblood,” he spat, storming out of Dumbledore’s office. I gave him a cheery wave as he left.

“That was bloody brilliant,” Ron said.

“Did you-”

“-see his face?”

“Dobby is free! Thank you Miss Zozo!”

“Of course, little guy,” I said, kneeling down and hugging him.

“I do believe this calls for a feast!” Dumbledore said jovially.

“Dumbledore, it’s way past midnight. Everyone’s asleep. How about a morning feast? Morning is in like, a couple of hours. Everybody likes breakfast food in their pajamas, plus it will give us time to take a goddamn shower,” I suggested.

“Ah yes, good point Ms. Hawk.”

“No problem,” I said. “What’s the password to the Prefect’s bathroom?”

“It’s Bubbles,” Dumbledore informed me.

“Brilliant!”

Chapter Text

Our group of Ron, Harry, Maggie, Luna, Neville, Dobby, a bunch of Weasleys and me proceeded to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey had Percy and Ginny lie down on some beds and Percy a calming draught. She told us that the mandrake cures had been administered but it would be a couple more hours before the petrified students would wake up. Madam Pomfrey tried to get Harry and I onto a set of beds to check over. We didn’t hesitate to make a break for it while she was shooing everybody else out.

Fred, George, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley all decided to stay in the Hospital Wing with Ginny and Percy. Neville went to Gryffindor Tower while Harry, Ron, Maggie and Luna headed to Ravenclaw Tower to all get a couple hours of sleep. I sat down with Dobby in a classroom and talked about his options.

“The truth is, nobody really likes free house elves who can leave their contract at any point in time and you need to be bonded to a witch or a wizard. Most house elves have a mutually beneficial deal where they cook, clean and serve witches and wizards, who in turn provide them with the magic house elves need to sustain themselves. Of course many families, like the Malfoy’s, take advantage of that and abuse house elves like you, which is illegal. However they are too rich and powerful to get anything more than a small fine if it can even be proved. Now that you are free, you can decide what to do.

“You could find work with a nice family, although you likely wouldn’t get paid. If getting paid is something that is really important to you then you have three options. You could seek work at Hogwarts and Dumbledore would probably pay you. You could go out into the world and look for a paid job although you probably won’t be successful. Or I could hire you and you could work for me,” I told him.

“Dobby could work for Miss Zozo?” Dobby asked.

“Yeah. I would pay you fair wages and give you time off. I’m sure we can find you somewhere to sleep over the school year, like one of Hogwarts’ hidden rooms, or with the other house-elves or in the ROR. There wouldn’t be a lot of work so you could help out the Hogwarts House Elves if you get bored.”

“How much would Miss Zozo pay Dobby?” he asked.

“Um, five galleons a month, which would be sixty galleons a year and Sundays off,” I proposed.

“That’s way too much money,” Dobby protested. “One galleon a month and five days off a year.”

“Three galleons per month, one day off per month and I pay for your clothes,” I offered.

“Deal,” Dobby accepted.

“Great. Here is your monthly pay,” I said, handing him three galleons. “And I’m going to buy you an adorable little butler suit.”

“And socks?” Dobby asked.

“So many socks. I know stores in London that only sell the wackiest socks imaginable.”

“Dobby is going to be introducing himself to the Hogwarts House Elves,” Dobby said enthusiastically, disappearing with a pop.

I got an alert via my notebook from Ginny that Hermione was beginning to wake up, so I hurried to the Hospital Wing.

Hermione was already awake and enduring Mrs. Weasley’s fussing.

“Hermione!” I exclaimed, grabbing my best friend in a hug. “Thank goodness. I was so worried.”

“How long was I petrified and what did I miss?” Hermione asked, getting down to business.

“You’ve only been petrified for a couple of hours, you were found in the afternoon on Saturday and right now it’s four am on Sunday. You did miss a lot. Percy was being possessed by a teenage Voldemort through his diary and was behind the attacks. Riddle stunned Ginny when she figured out what was going on and brought them both into the Chamber. I mobilized the whole gang pretty quickly to rescue them. Harry and I fought Riddle and the basilisk, which was causing the petrifications. I killed the basilisk with the Sword of Gryffindor, almost died, got a cool new scar on my leg and Harry stabbed the diary with a basilisk fang, killing Riddle.”

“Was it getting around through the pipes? Also, the Sword of Gryffindor? You almost died?”

“Yes on the pipes. Harry pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat and I did get scratched with basilisk venom but then Fawkes cried and I was all better. It was so cool,” I explained. "Oh and the basilisk ate me."

“Only you would consider getting eaten by a giant snake and almost dying cool,” Hermione said with a fond smile.

“Yep.”

“Ms. Hawk, please lie down so I can check you over for any injuries,” Madam Pomfrey said, spotting me and heading over.

“Gotta go, bye,” I said, giving Hermione another hug. Then I pulled my broomstick from my sidebag and flew out of the Hospital Wing. It was a good thing Hogwarts had such high ceilings.

I enjoyed a blissful bath in the Prefect’s Bathroom. The bathtub was so big I could swim from side to side. There were bubbles, epsom salts, soaps, shampoos and conditioners of every type imaginable. There was a magical something or other that made sure I didn’t wrinkle up and could stay in the bath for as long as I wanted.It was so wonderful, I almost wanted to be a prefect. But I loved chaos too much and had plenty of ways to gain the password each year.

After my heavenly bath, I showered off and headed home to Ravenclaw Tower. I pulled on my fuzziest pair of pajamas, grabbed a book and headed to the common room to read until everybody else woke up.

As soon as the first Ravenclaw came down from the dormitories and spotted me, word spread pretty quickly that Harry and I had vanquished the great evil threatening Hogwarts. Everybody wanted to know how we did it. And everybody was excited for the pajama breakfast feast.

The petrified students returned to their common rooms, having been temporarily released from the Hospital Wing, to change into their pajamas and attend the feast. Colin was super excited and saw being comatose for several months as a grand adventure and was talking about his petrification to anybody that would listen. He was thrilled when I gave him a camera of the magical variety to continue his photography since his other one had gotten burned up.

The breakfast feast was amazing. I loaded up my plate with french toast covered in syrup and whipped cream and cheesy scrambled eggs. Killing a basilisk and fighting a teenage Dark Lord took a lot out of you and I was starving.

Dumbledore wisely waited until everybody had at least finished their first course and gone back for seconds before making his speech on good triumphing over evil and awarding everybody involved 100 points. This tripled Ravenclaw’s points and put us in the lead by a wide margin, while Gryffindor moved to second place due to Fred, George and Neville’s points. There were still another two weeks and finals before the year ended and the House Cup was awarded, but there was no way anybody but Ravenclaw could win.

With that news in mind, everybody went back to the delicious meal before them.

Chapter Text

SLYTHERIN”S MONSTER DEFEATED BY CHILDREN

On Monday morning, there was an article written by Rita Skeeter taking up the front pages of the Daily Prophet. She had even managed to get a picture of all of us together at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall. Rita did a wonderful job of slandering both the Ministry and Dumbledore for not managing what a group of teenagers and pre-teens did in a single night while praising us for saving Hogwarts. Personally, I thought she went a little too heavy on the poor innocent children endangered and forced to fight against evil, but otherwise it was a really good piece. Rita also kept Percy’s name out of it, saying that Voldemort had possessed an innocent student, who was now safe and healthy. While Percy’s absence that night had been noted, the gossip mill assumed that he was with the group of us that went into the Chamber as there were already several Weasleys present and none of us had denied that assumption.

There was a smaller article that said that Lucius Malfoy was fired from the Board of Governors and the DMLE was currently conducting an investigation as to his role in the basilisk attacks.

While the entire student body was happy that the basilisk had been defeated, we were not happy about the other terrible thing that loomed above us this week. Finals.

The fifth and seventh years had already taken the OWLs and NEWTs and were either basking in the joy of being done with the year, offering tutoring to younger students, or both. Percy had already said several times how glad he was that he was in sixth year instead of fifth or seventh and being possessed wouldn’t ruin his career.

Some of the kids who had gotten petrified earlier in the year, like Colin Creevey, had the option to not take the finals and instead do remedial classes over the summer to help them catch up. 

The Heads of Houses and prefects passed around exam schedules. Hermione was freaking out. Harry and Ron were pouring over a mixture of Hermione’s and my notes. Neville was reading Hermione’s Potions notes while trying to eat, and failing at the eating part. I was sipping tea and looking over Neville’s notes in Herbology, my weakest subject.

As soon as one of the Ravenclaw prefects handed us the schedule for Ravenclaw second years, we all huddled together to view it.

“We have more blank spaces due to the lack of a DADA teacher this year,” Neville observed.

“And no early morning tests on Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday,” I said, pumping my fist in the air.

Our first test was Herbology, where we were instructed to care for Fluxweed and Puffapods while Professor Sprout wandered around evaluating us. I did my best to copy what Neville was doing whenever Sprout wasn’t looking.

After that, we had some free time which Hermione and Neville spent in the library while Harry, Ron and I went flying to clear our heads. While I didn’t like playing Quidditch, I loved flying. Then we met up for lunch and headed to the Transfiguration classroom.

We answered a series of questions and then wrote about the theory behind Reparifarge.

After Transfiguration Theory Hermione dragged us to the Library to study.

On Tuesday, I got to sleep in a little more before swinging by the Great Hall for breakfast and heading to Potions Theory.

Despite the fact that I didn’t even attend Potions classes, I did wonderful on the test. Snape never taught how the ingredients interact with each other, but I learned that during self-study and made sure that Neville was able to see my test and copy off of me.

After lunch was Charms Theory, which was rather easy with a bunch of questions and writing a paragraph on one of the charms that we learned this year. I chose Expelliarmus, the Disarming Charm and wrote about its applications in combat.

Then we had the afternoon and evening to relax before we went up to the Astronomy Tower for our practical exam. We had to locate several stars and constellations, with bonus points for knowing the myths behind them. I loved Greek mythology as a kid and did wonderfully on that.

Wednesday brought Herbology Theory and a test on different potting soils for different plants. After lunch was our Potions Practical, in which Snape abandoned tormenting Neville in favor of looming over my shoulder in the hopes that I would mess up. I produced a perfect Strengthening Solution, which with Snape’s biased grading, would get me an Acceptable.

Thursday morning was Charms Practical, which I did well on. Flitwick was amazed when I did the spells nonverbally, despite the fact that I regularly did nonverbal spells.

Then we had History of Magic. While writing a horribly racist essay on goblins would get an O, I wrote about how unethical the government’s treatment of goblins and other species was. It was guaranteed to piss off Binns, but McGonagall probably wouldn’t let him fail me.

We quickly scarfed down a couple of sandwiches before going to the library to study once again during our lunch break.

Next up was our Transfiguration Practical. McGonagall was not as impressed with Flitwick over my wordless spellwork and made sure I used the proper incantation and wand movement, saying that I needed to learn it even if I wasn’t going to use it.

We spent the rest of the afternoon flying around the pitch along with a couple of other kids who had had the same idea. Ginny joined in and the two of us had fun doing increasingly crazy and dangerous stunts.

On Friday we had our final exam, Astronomy Theory. It was pretty easy and I rushed through my answers, eager to be done.

We all headed to the Great Hall for lunch with lifted spirits, exams behind us and ate a deliciously unhealthy lunch of ice cream.

“So, we still have another week of school before we go home,” Harry commented as the four of us lounged around in the ROR. “Any ideas?”

“Movie night?” I suggested.

Chapter Text

After dinner, we went up to the ROR and quickly got to work building a blanket fort to watch movies in. Dobby, who was thrilled at his first task as our house elf butler, eagerly brought up an assortment of snacks. Once again we hooked up my twenty-first century phone to a projector so that we could watch movies that hadn’t come out yet. 

Hermione picked out a movie first and chose Mulan. I chose to watch Maleficent. Afterwards Harry chose High School Musical. I wasn’t entirely sure how he got that since it wasn’t on Netflix or Disney Plus, but had long since given up trying to understand the combination of future tech and magic.

Harry and Ron loved it immediately. The plot was so cheesy that it was funny and the song and dance numbers were amazing. All four of us sang along with fake microphones that the ROR provided.

Ron quickly decided to choose High School Musical 2 for his movie choice and we all got ready for another few hours of singing and dancing.

“That was bloody brilliant,” Ron said once the movie was over.

“I’ve got an idea,” Harry said with a chaotic smile.

“Do tell,” I said, already scheming.

The idea was pretty straight forward. A prank to make everybody burst into musical numbers. We used the Elixir to induce Euphoria as a starting point, made several alterations to the potion and some of both Dobby’s house elf magic and my intent based magic.

We tested it on ourselves in the ROR and once we got the results right, it was only a matter of adjusting the ingredients to get the desired longevity. We named the finished result Musical Mixture. It was a little on the nose, but most potion names were.

The house elves, as always, were easy to convince to help us and put the potion in everybody’s morning beverage. The only downside to enlisting the house elves’ help was that they reported everything to Dumbledore, but Dumbledore was a huge fan of our pranks as long as they didn’t seriously hurt anybody.

On the morning in question, most of the student body was gathered in the Great Hall for a late breakfast. It would only take a sip of the potion-spike drinks to work and was created so that it would affect everyone at the exact same time. Which was in just a couple of seconds.

I felt the urge to break out into song. It was highly compelling, yet I could resist if I put a lot of effort into it. Along with several other students from different houses, I climbed onto the tables and burst into a song and dance number of a more upbeat rap version of the choir song.

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Double, double toil and trouble

Something wicked this way comes

Eye of newt, and toe of frog

Wool of bat, and tongue of dog

Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting

Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Double, double toil and trouble

Something wicked this way comes

In the cauldron boil and bake

Fillet of a fenny snake

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf

Witches' mummy, maw and gulf

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

Something wicked this way comes!

Dumbledore stood up and applauded as soon as we finished.

“A wonderful rendition of our frog choir’s musical piece and a shining example of house unity. 50 points to each house!” he said jovially

“Albus, don’t encourage them,” McGonagall reprimanded.

“Oh yes, and I do not approve of this prank at all,” Dumbledore added, completely insincerely. McGonagall sighed.

Breakfast continued with two fifth year students confessing their love for each other. I tuned them out in favor of drinking some tea, pre-prepared and not spiked with magic singing potion.

After breakfast, the four of us walked around Hogwarts, watching as everyone spontaneously burst into musical numbers. My favorite so far was a song about chaos by Fred, George and Peeves.

As I was wandering on the Hogwarts grounds, I got pulled in to be a backup singer/dancer for a song by Daphne Greengrass. Apparently, she was trying to get Flint to change his boy-only policy and let her onto the Slytherin Quidditch Team. I, along with Pansy Parkinson, Megan Jones and Eloise Midgen sang along with her.

She even flew above our heads on her broom.

“You can try out next year but I make no guarantees,” Flint grudgingly conceded once we were done with the songs.

“Everybody get to class,” McGonagall ordered.

“We don’t have class. It’s the last week of the term,” somebody said.

“Yeah,” an older kid I didn’t know said, coming out of the crowd, microphone in hand.

Too cool to spend my time hangin' round the school

You know that I have got much better things to do

I don't do no homework, I can't stand books

Got no time for little first year’s stuck-up looks

' Cause I'm too cool for school

Too cool Too cool for school

Too cool

Too cool for school

Well school's for fools

Hey! 

My teacher made me stay after class today

A little extra effort teacher gave me an "A"

Well I never study, but I always pass my finals

Bribe a ‘Claw to do my work and then run wild

'Cause I'm too cool for school

Too cool

Too cool for school

Too cool

Too cool for school

Well school's for fools

Hey! 

Too cool to spend my time hangin' round the school

You know that I have got much better things to do

I don't do no homework, I can't stand books

Got no time for little first year's stuck-up looks

Cause I'm too cool for school

Too cool

Too cool for school

Too cool

Too cool for school

Well school's for fools

Hey! 

I don't want to hear about it

I don't want to read about it

I don't ever want to think about it

Damn, I'm outta here! 

Yeah, that's what I said!

“Detention, Mr. Abernathy,” McGonagall said.

The day went on with musical songs left and right. I got pulled in to be a backup singer on several more songs despite having no idea what the context was.

Although I didn’t see it, I heard a rumor that Dumbledore had even done a song. We didn’t put Musical Mixture in the High Table’s beverages, so if Dumbledore did do a song then it was entirely of his own accord.

It was a gloriously chaotic day and the best part was that even though McGongall knew that the four of us were behind it, there was absolutely no evidence that we were involved.

Chapter Text

On Saturday morning, we all gathered up our trunks and headed to the front of the school to take the carriages down to Hogsmeade Stations. Luna, who had taken the boats to Hogwarts at the beginning of the school year, was fascinated by the thestrals and ended up feeding them the lunch that Dobby had packed for her. Dobby was also with us, under a strong Notice-Me-Not charm so that nobody questioned why we had a house-elf with us.

Dobby and I had snuck out to muggle London to get him plenty of clothes last week. His “butler outfit” was a muggle suit for toddlers that had been adjusted, with lots of pockets for his various socks. He had over two dozen socks, no two of which were alike. Currently, Dobby was wearing a rainbow striped sock on his left foot and a sock that looked like the sky, pale blue with white clouds, on his right foot.

At the station was a crowd of Hogsmeade residents that had come to either see us off or vendors trying to sell their wares. There were a variety of younger adults, likely recent Hogwarts graduates renting flats, that were selling basilisk merchandise. Fred and George bought everybody shirts saying “I survived the basilisk”, much to our amusement. We were teenagers with rather morbid senses of humour. I bought us all a warm drink, hot cocoa, hot cider or hot butterbeer depending on everybody’s individual preferences.

We made sure to get onto the train early and got a compartment that I enlarged so that it had twelve seats instead of the usual six and could comfortably fit all of us. Maggie quickly pulled the curtain down over the door window so nobody could see us. Over the past week, all of us were getting hounded over what exactly happened in the Chamber of Secrets and it got old after the first couple of hours.

We waved to the crowd at the station as the train pulled out and began its journey to London.

“Another year over and-”

“-onto summer break”.

Fred and George pulled out a deck of Exploding Snap cards and started a game with Harry, Neville and I. Hermione pulled out a book on advanced defensive spells and got lost in her own little world. Ron and Maggie were playing a game of chess. Ginny played games on my phone. Luna and Dobby were having a conversation on the differences between elven and Wixen magic and how house-elves could apparate inside most wards while Luna absentmindedly braided my hair into a French braid. A couple of hours later Ron had won the chess game and he and Maggie had joined the group of us playing Exploding Snap.

The snack cart lady came around. Even though we had sandwiches that Dobby had packed for us, we were a bunch of teenagers so we got a lot of candy that we piled into the empty seat.

“This year was pretty crazy. Was your first year similar?” Maggie asked.

“Well, there was Quirrelldemort who was trying to steal the Philosopher's Stone and we had to uncover that mystery. There wasn’t the widespread panic though because the rest of the school didn’t know about that until after Harry kicked Voldie’s ass with his magic fire love hands,” Ron explained.

“Magic fire love hands?” Ginny asked, who had not heard this part.

“Long story short, Lily Evans was a badass, Moldyshorts gets burned by Harry’s hands through the power of love. Dumbledore said some bullshit about a mother’s love but my money is on Harry’s mom using an ancient ritual or something to protect him in the event she should die,” I explained.

“Last year was more fun with all the obstacles but this year was more dangerous,” Harry summarized.

“What about-”

“-next year?”

“Next year is going to be epic. Totally my favorite year, plus all the Marauder stuff going on. In the OG timeline, everyone was freaked out similar to this year, but there was actually no danger and it’s the one year there’s no Voldemort. But I’m planning on drastically changing things so I don't know what will happen,” I said. “But we are going to have an amazing DADA teacher.”

“Cool!” the twins exclaimed in unison.

Soon, the conversation turned to this year and all the details of the whole Chamber of Secrets business.

“Hey guys, did I tell you why I was snooping around Percy’s business in the first place?” Ginny asked.

“Penelope Clearwater?” I guessed.

“Yeah.”

“Who?” Ron asked.

“Percy has a girlfriend,” Ginny announced with an air of satisfaction.

“WHAT?!?” the twins exclaimed in unison. I was very grateful that I had soundproofed the compartment, otherwise the entire train car would have heard them.

“It’s that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater,” said Ginny. “That’s who he was writing to all last summer. He’s been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day. I saw that she had been attacked and sent a ghost to find a teacher and then I saw Percy and went after him, to tell him about Penelope. But then I saw him write the message and open the chamber and he noticed me and stunned me.”

“Does Penelope know about Percy getting possessed?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah, they talked about it. Percy was quite shaken and Penelope doesn’t blame him or anything,” Ginny said, then looked at the twins. “I get that you two are going to tease him about having a girlfriend but please don’t tease him about Riddle making him attack Penelope.”

“Don’t worry-”

“-we understand.”

“So tell us more about Penelope,” Ron prompted.

“Well, she’s a Ravenclaw Prefect and is in sixth year. The two of them often study together and do Prefect patrols together. Penelope also wants to work for the Ministry, but to help make changes to how the Ministry treats muggles and other magical races,” Ginny said.

“That’s awesome!” Luna said.

Shortly thereafter, the train pulled into the London station and we all applied feather-light charms to our trunks or shrunk them down to put into pockets.

Luna said goodbye to all of us and waltzed off to where Mr. Lovegood was waiting for her. Neville went off to where his grandmother was talking with another elderly woman. We walked Maggie to where Mrs. Willows was standing along with the rest of the orphans who lived at Morgana’s Home. Hermione went through the barrier to meet up with her parents.

Then the rest of us walked to where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were waiting. Even though we had seen them just a week ago, Mrs. Weasley gave us giant hugs and said how glad she was to see us all. She took the news of us bringing home a stray house-elf rather well, although I suppose it would take a lot to surprise her. Mrs. Weasley said that we could make him a little room in the attic and that as long as he didn’t interfere with her cooking, Dobby was fine with her.

Chapter Text

Once we got back to the Burrow, Mrs. Weasley instructed all of us kids to go upstairs and unpack our trunks. Since my trunk had enlarged rooms and I had a fold out sofa in there to sleep on, I simply put my trunk into a corner of Ginny’s room. 

When Harry and I had first moved into the Burrow last July, Mrs. Weasley had fussed over me not having a proper bed, but I had assured her that I didn’t mind sleeping in my trunk and actually felt quite cozy and secure in there. 

I pulled out a variety of pillows and blankets from out of my trunk and took Dobby up to the attic. Last summer, we had decided to use the attic as a hangout space. We had gone shopping at a muggle store for sofas, chairs, pillows, blankets, a coffee table, side tables and a wardrobe, which was magically enlarged, for the ghoul to live in.

It was quite the cozy area with mismatched furniture and decorations. The walls were covered in whatever we could get our hands on. A Ravenclaw banner, a Gryffindor banner, a Holyhead Harpies poster pinned up next to a Chudley Cannons poster and a Tutshill Tornados poster, a photo of Dumbledore getting hit in the face with a pie, childhood drawings from all the Weasleys, pictures that I had taken our first year, amusing newspaper pages, pressed flowers, and lots of other things decorated the small attic.

I transfigured a corner of the attic into a small closet, which was then magically enlarged into a room for Dobby to sleep in over the summer. It was rather small by human standards, but Dobby was a lot shorter and it would seem larger to him then it did to me.

“There you go. What do you think?” I asked Dobby after I was done.

“Thank you Miss Zozo. It is very kind of yous to give Dobby his own room,” Dobby said.

“Of course. Now let’s make it more comfortable,” I said, gesturing to the pile of pillows and blankets I had brought with me.

In the end, Dobby’s room resembled a colorful nest more than a bedroom. The floor was entirely covered in blankets and pillows. In the corner sat a small shelf for his clothes.. Dobby loved it and spent several minutes crying over it. 

Once Dobby was settled, I went back down to Ginny’s room to hang out. We looked over fashion catalogs for various stores and Ginny talked about how floral patterns were currently in style among young witches.

“Personally I think all of this ‘in style’ stuff is bullshit. I buy comfortable and practical clothes that look nice, have lots of pockets and that I can wear for a while. It makes no sense to constantly be buying new clothes just to keep up with fashion trends,” I argued. “Plus constantly changing styles are just a way for clothing stores to make lots of money.”

Ginny rolled her eyes at me and argued that whether or not it made sense, it was still one of those societal things that most people kept up with.

Mrs. Weasley called us down for dinner. Dinner was roast chicken (tofu cubes for me) and mashed potatoes. 

“Kids, we have big news,” Mrs. Weasley announced once everybody had sat down at the dinner table.

“What?”

“Arthur won the Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw and got 700 galleons!” Mrs. Weasley announced.

“That’s amazing!”

“What!?!”

“Congratulations”

“How much of that-”

“-are we getting?”

“Blimey!”

“Yes, yes. It’s all very exciting,” Mr. Weasley said.

“Most of the money will be put in the bank and used for your school tuition and supplies. However, we have decided to use a portion of the money to go on a trip.”

“A trip?”

“Really?”

“Where?”

“We are going to Egypt to visit Bill,” Mrs. Weasley announced.

“Yay!”

“Bill!”

“Aaaahhhh!!!!!”

“Awesome”

“Now, Harry and Zo-”

“Don’t worry about us Mrs. Weasley,” I said.

“We can just stay at the Leaky Cauldron,” added Harry.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re a part of this family too. You’ll be coming with us,” Mrs. Weasley said with a wave of her hand.

I wasn’t crying. It was a piece of dust in my eye. Anybody who said I was crying was a lying liar.

“Really?” Harry asked.

“Of course.”

“We’ll pay for ourselves. Harry and I can pay for our own tickets and hotel rooms and everything else,” I insisted, wiping away the reflex tears from the dust that got in my eye.

“Oh that’s really not necessary. You two are just children, you shouldn’t have to worry about money and stuff,” Mrs. Weasley protested.

“I’m super rich, so is Zo because she has that endless moneybag. A trip really won’t make a difference,” Harry said. “In fact, I could probably pay for everybody.”

“If it is really that important to you, then I suppose that you two can pay for yourselves. It’s not like it’s that much money,” Mrs. Weasley agreed reluctantly.

“Brilliant!”

“When are we going?” Percy asked.

“Early July. We are going to be staying for one week, which Bill has off of work. Remember, it will be very hot in Egypt so make sure to pack light clothes. And Fred and George, try not to smuggle anything illegal back into England”

“Will do. Zo can you-”

“-look up the laws on-”

“-what you can legally-”

“-smuggle out of Africa?”

“I got you covered,” I said, giving them a thumbs up.

The Trace, which was already very easy to circumvent in Britain, didn’t even work in other countries. For magical families on vacation, regulating children’s magic was left up to the parents.

Although I still needed to look up the individual laws, I already knew that there was a major loophole to take advantage of. There were many rare items, books, ingredients and more that were illegal to purchase in Britain but not illegal to own that were available in other countries such as Africa. Britain’s laws on what you could take into the country were practically non-existent, excepting commercial imports in which case there were taxes.

It would be fascinating to learn more about different magical cultures and I was already writing a letter to Hermione in my head. This summer was going to be so fun!

Next year will include Hermione, Harry, Ron and Zo becoming Animagi, getting their own group name, a prank war with Fred & George, some wolfstar and Lupin needing McGonagall’s headache potions.