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Chapter Text

Chapter 1 - Worst Day of Your Life

Buck stood and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked tired. Like he had not slept in weeks. Buck could remember clearly the last good night's sleep he had. It was at home in his bed on a Wednesday night after a long shift at the firehouse. He and Eddie had gotten home late and quickly fallen asleep wrapped up in each other. Buck had slept peacefully that night with no nightmare, just restful sleep wrapped up in the arms of the man that he loved. Neither man had known that would be their last. That the very next day Eddie would run into a burning building and not run out. Since then, Buck had not been able to sleep without the image of seeing his lover's lifeless body.

Buck wished he looked better. He wished he were doing better. Holding it together better. The truth was he was lost without Eddie. There had been working partners for nearly ten years and romantic partners for nearly two. Not nearly enough time together. So much time wasted. Buck craved for every lost minute and wished for just one more minute with Eddie. Just another moment with him. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to kiss his lips.

The moments were gone. Their time together was up. Far too soon. Eddie had died just a few months shy of his fortieth birthday. His son had just gone to college. He and Buck had only been together two years, they should have had at least twenty years together. It was not fair. The phrase Buck had kept hearing was ‘taken too soon’ and he could not help but agree. It was too soon, far too soon for him to lose Eddie. He was not ready to live in a world that did not have Eddie Diaz in it. It had only been two weeks and Buck already knew that he did not like it.

“Bucky,”.

Buck turned around away from his reflection to see Christopher standing in the doorway. Chris tried to stand tall and look strong, but Buck knew he was doing his best to hold everything together just the same as Buck was. Buck knew Christopher looked more like Shannon than Eddie, but as Buck looked at him now standing tall, staying strong, all he could see was his father in him.

“Is it time?” Buck asked, every time he spoke, he was shocked at how broken it came out. He would hold it together. Keep it together. If he was going to break down it certainly was not going to be in front of Eddie’s son.

“The cars have arrived,” Chris confirmed.

Buck nodded and walked over to Chris, putting his arm around him like he did when he was much smaller, “We got this. Right kid?”

“We got this,” Chris nodded, pulling Buck into a hug. The pair just remained there hugging each other, both getting comfort from the fact that they were not alone in their grief.

Eventually, they broke apart and Buck made an effort to straighten up Chris’ suit, “I like your suit,”.

“Dad got it for me, for prom,” Chris told him.

Buck nodded, “It’s a good suit. He’d be so proud of you,”.

Buck saw tears appear in Chris’ eyes as the boy began to cry. This only proved his statement true. Eddie would be proud of Christopher. He was always proud of his son and his strength. One of the things Eddie often told Buck was that he was worried he was too emotionally stunted to raise Chris. Eddie had worried that his own inability to express his emotions and feelings would be passed down to his son. As Buck saw Chris cry, he knew that was not the case. Eddie had raised Chris to be proud of his emotions and never feel ashamed of how he felt.

Buck pulled Chris back into a hug. Chris allowed it for a moment before pulling back and wiping his eyes.

“You ready?” Chris asked him. Buck was not ready. He was not ready to leave this room and go and bury Eddie. He knew the whole Fire Family would be there. That Maddie would be there ready to hug him and Bobby there with a steady hand on his shoulder and understanding eyes. The Diaz family would also be there. Eddie’s parents shooting him dirty looks. His sisters hugging him and crying in his arms. Buck did not think he would ever be ready to say his final goodbye to Eddie.

“No,” Buck said honestly, “Are you?”

“No,” Chris said with a soft smile that reminded him so much of his father.

“Together then?”

“Together”.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 - Once Again

Buck awoke suddenly to the shout of his name.

“Buckley! Turn off that damn alarm” Someone yelled from another room.

Buck sat up in his bed and quickly found the source of the noise, it was an iPhone, but not his current one, this one must be at least ten years old. Buck thought he used to own one just like it, he turned off the alarm and the beeping stopped. He then turned towards the doorway to look at who had spoken to him. Buck looked. Rubbed his eyes and looked again. It could not be possible.

“You okay? How much did you drink last night? Wasn’t even expecting you to make it back? Thought you’d left with the girl with the arm tattoo?” A man who was standing in his doorway asked. He was tall with reddish-brown hair and spoke with a British accent. Buck knew him.

Buck stared at the man speaking. He was sure it was one of his old housemates from when he had first moved to LA. How was that possible? What was going on?

“Dan?” Buck asked, hoping that everything would suddenly become clear, “What’s going on?”

“Jesus, you must have drunk a lot” Dan laughed, “Hope you are going to be okay at training today,”.

Training? What was he on about? What was Buck training for and why was his old housemate from over ten years ago in his house.

With that Dan left the room and Buck was left on his own. Buck just sat there hoping his brain would suddenly come up with an explanation for what the hell was going on. Buck looked around. He was in his bedroom at the house he had lived in when he had first moved to LA. How did he get here? Why was he not at home in his own bed where he was sure he went to sleep the night before.

This was not possible.

This was very much impossible.

Buck quickly got up out of bed and moved towards the mirror that was above the chest of draws. His own face stared back at him. Only it was not his normal face. He was younger. A lot younger. Like ten years younger! He looked like a baby! Like he was in his early twenties again!

It was then the memories of the previous day hit him. The funeral. He had buried Eddie yesterday. It had been Eddie’s funeral. Eddie was dead. Wasn’t he? Buck had gone to his funeral but that was then. Now he was in the past? The past where Eddie was not dead. Was Eddie out there somewhere alive? Eddie could be alive. They could have more time together.

First Buck needed to know when it was. What year was it? Dan had mentioned training, was Buck in training to become a firefighter? That would make it 2016. Over a year at least till he met Eddie. Screw that. Buck could not wait that long to see Eddie, but did he have to? If he went and found Eddie now would that mess everything up. In 2016, Eddie would still be in Texas. Shannon would have left but they would still be married. Eddie was married, he would have no idea who Buck was. He would not know their story and how much they loved each other. If Buck went to find him now would everything change? Changing the past meant changing the future?

Buck could not risk it. Risk going to see Eddie and changing the timeline. Was that a thing he had to worry about the timeline? How did time travel even work? Buck wished he could call Chim, he was sure that he would have seen enough movies to explain the basics of time travel. Buck had not met Chim yet, nor he had met any of the firefam yet. If it was 2016 he would still be in training and still months away from joining the 118. His sister would still be married to Doug. Christopher would only be six years old. Athena would still be with Michael. Everything was different. Buck was alone.

Buck had been alone before, but that had been a long time ago. Since joining the 118 the loneliness that had once felt like a constant in his life had slowly disappeared from existence. It was hard to feel alone when there were so many people who cared about you. Only now most of those people had never met Buck, they had no clue who he was. No clue who he would become to them. Bobby had no idea that in the next ten years Buck would become a son to him. Athena would become the closest thing he ever had to a loving mother. Hen would become like another sister to Buck, always knowing if he was trying to hide that something was wrong. Chimney would literally become his brother-in-law after he married Maddie before the birth of their second child. Michael, David, and Karen were also family, the kind where you may not speak to regularly but when needed they would be there no questions asked. The kids of the 118 would be some of Buck’s favorite people in the world, Denny and Harry adored Buck treating him like the big brother you call when your parents are being impossible. His biological niece and nephew were not even born yet, his parents states apart.

Christopher would have no idea who he was. That thought broke Buck’s heart. The idea of seeing the kid who had become his son, the boy he had helped raise since their first meeting after an earthquake, and have Christopher look at him with no recognition in his eyes. Buck hated that. Hated that all the memories they shared just did not exist yet. Yet being the key word. Buck had the opportunity to do it all again. Fix his mistakes. Make those memories with Christopher but also make more memories. He could do it all again, only this time do the good and avoid the bad.

That idea did appeal to Buck. He knew there were things coming up in the next ten years that he would do anything no to have to live through again. His leg getting crushed by a fire truck, getting caught in a tsunami with Christopher, the lawsuit, waiting so long to get together with Eddie. These were all things he could avoid or fix. He had future knowledge that he could use to his advantage. He could also make money, invest in companies he knew would take off in the next ten years, bet on sporting events he remembered the outcomes for, he could buy and flip properties in areas he knew would go up in value.

Buck was living in a scenario that was being proposed all over the world in bars. What would you do if you woke up ten years in the past? What would you change? What would be the consequence of your actions? If you change the bad do you risk losing the good that came with it?

The biggest good thing that had happened to him in the last ten years was Eddie Diaz. Buck knew that Eddie was the love of his life. It had taken him a long time to figure that out and an even longer time to actually do something about it. Once he had, he had been happy. For the first time in his life, he had everything he ever could have wanted. Everything had fallen into place. Loving Eddie had been easy. Being a family with him and Chris and being more than Buck had ever imagined. It was bliss. He was well aware that once they had become a couple that everyone mocked for being disgustingly in love with each other. They were so in love with each other. Eddie had loved Buck enough that Buck did not doubt him. When Eddie first told Buck he loved him Buck rescinded with a surprised ‘really?’ By the time they had been together Buck’s response had changed to a firm ‘I know’. Buck was secure in the knowledge that Eddie loved him.

Only Eddie did not love him. He would do it one day, years in the future. Now Buck was nothing to Eddie. Eddie did not know Buck. None of the people he called family knew him.

That was not true. There was one person. Maddie would know him. Buck sat down back on his bed. Maddie, his big sister, would know him. The problem was Maddie at this point in time was still married to Doug. Doug, if there was one person in all the world that Buck hated most it was Doug Kendell. The man who had hurt his sister. The man who had come so close to breaking her, but ultimately he had failed. Maddie had won out in the end. Buck moved to grab his phone to check the actual date.

March 1st, 2016

Thirteen years. He was thirteen years in the past. Well, it was actually only twelve years and nine months but given the fact, Buck had never time traveled before the three months did not feel that big of a deal. Right so March 2016. He had only just moved to LA and began training to become a firefighter. He would not join the 118 till much later this year. Buck tried to remember his start date. He knew it was after summer, maybe September. It was months away. He had been with the 118 for over a year before Maddie turned up. In fact, Buck was pretty sure that he met Eddie the same week Maddie came to LA. He never realised two of the most important people had come in (or back into) his life in the same week.

He had time. Time to plan and remember dates and events.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 - What Now?

Buck eventually made his way out of his bedroom and into the common area of the loft he shared. He had not thought about this place in years. He had moved in here as soon as he arrived in LA and stayed till he moved into Abby’s. That would have to change. He needed his own space and though money was tight, Buck was already thinking about how he could use his future knowledge to get enough money together for his own place. He could not stay here, this place was a dump. Everywhere was a mess. Buck tried to remember how many people he had lived with and their names in case he bumped into any of them. The guy who had come into his room earlier was Dan, Buck had remembered him as similar to Buck 1.0, not a bad guy by any means just young and waiting to have fun.

The problem was that there had not been just one set of roommates, but rather a revolving door and people moving in and out. On top of that, there had also been girlfriends and boyfriends who, while not officially living in the loft, had still spent most of their nights sleeping there. Buck had not kept in touch with any of them after he had moved out. He had bumped into a few of them over the years, he remembered one memorable occasion when he had reunited with a guy called Oliver when he had been working and Oliver had gotten his arm trapped in a vending machine. That had been a blast from the past that Buck had not been expecting.

“Hey Buck,” a voice greeted from the couch.

Buck looked over towards the voice. There was a guy with sandy blonde hair and sharp grey eyes lounging down reading a book. He was handsome and familiar to Buck. He racked his brain trying to connect a name to the face. He came up blank.

“Hey man,” Buck said, hoping he was casual and it was not obvious he did not know his name, “How’s it going?”

“Not bad, enjoying the quiet around here for once” the guys answered.

“It’s a rare occurrence,” Buck responded, still coming up blank on who his guy was. He did look familiar but a name was not coming.

“Very true, I think that’s mainly because Oliver is back home for the week and not causing trouble,” the Sandy-haired man added.

“Olly is a trouble magnet,” Buck said, well aware that the same thing could be said about him.

“Are you off to training?”

“Yep,” Buck answered, not sure if he actually was not, better safe than sorry.

“That all going okay? Do you like it?”

“I really am! Think it’s what I’m meant to do with my life,” Buck told him, hoping he was acting normal and this guy would not think he was being weird.

“You're calling.” The guy answered.

“Exactly! Are you reading anything good?” Buck asked, feeling bad he didn’t remember this guy he clearly was nice.

“Very boring law book,” he replied while showing Buck the book.

“You got an exam coming up?” Buck asked, glad he knew something about his guy.

“Bar exam is coming up this year,” he told Buck, “The more prep the better,”

“I couldn’t do that. I’m more practically smart” Buck told him, “I’ll leave you to your peace and quiet”.

“Later Buck,”

Buck waved goodbye and made his way outside where he was greeted with a familiar sight. His Jeep. Over the next thirteen years, Buck would spend fixing the jeep then it was worth. He just could not bear to part with it. It had been with him for far too long and he had grown attached to the car. The idea of driving something else felt wrong. Eddie has mocked him for all the money he had spent on fixing it but all Buck had to do was mention how much Eddie had spent on his truck and that had stopped the mocking.

Buck over to the jeep and got inside with the sudden realization he did not know where he was going. Did he have training? He checked his phone and after a few minutes of struggling with the technology, he found his schedule in his email. It was his day off. Right. So he was thirteen years in the past, what should he do? Deciding he could not just sit in his jeep he began driving unsure where he was going. He wanted to go and get his sister. It was a major thought that would not leave his mind, that right now his sister was being abused. Buck wanted to drive and get Maddie. Save her from Doug. Bring her to LA where she would be safe. There was also a part of him that wanted to kill Doug forever touching a hair on his sister’s head.

Buck drove and kept thinking about Maddie. In the past (which was now the future) they had talked a lot about her marriage to Doug. Buck had once asked her why she had never reached out before if she had not known that he would have come and got her. Taken her away. Saved her. Maddie had told him that she had not been ready to leave Doug. It needed to be on her own terms. She needed to leave him and save herself. Buck had asked her if there was anything he could have done and Maddie had told her that he had done it by writing to her. Sending her postcards. She confessed how much they had meant to her.

Buck pulled over and parked outside a tourist shop and went in and bought one of every postcard that he could find. He walked out with over fifty postcodes and stamps. If sending cards to his sister helped her leave Doug then he would do that. He hoped that sending more cards might help her leave sooner. He would write to her and send her a card each week. Buck would do anything he could do to help Maddie. He searched for a pen in the jeep and finally found one down the side by the passenger chair. He searched through the postcards till he found one he liked. He then began writing.

Dear Maddie,
I’m in LA! It’s amazing here Maddie. I finally think that I've found the place that I think I belong. The only thing missing is you? I miss you so much, Maddie. I’m training to become a firefighter! You heard right, your daredevil little brother is going to become one of LAFD’s finest. I know you might worry about me but I promise to be careful. Plus from what I’ve heard your team becomes your family. I’m sure they will keep me from being too reckless.
Wish you were here
Your favorite little brother
Buck

Buck dropped it in the nearest mailbox and hoped it got to his sister and made a difference. This whole thing would be a lot easier if he had Maddie and knew she was away from Doug. Buck carried on driving hoping that he would find the answers he was looking for. Honestly waking up in the past was very stressful. Was there a grand reason he had been sent back? Was it divine intervention? He had been wishing for more time with Eddie and he had gotten it. Was it his wish to come true? Had that actually happen to him, he had been granted his wish by being sent back to the very start of everything. The beginning of his career as a firefighter, which had led him to also finding his family. Was that possible?

Just yesterday Buck’s world was ending and he was saying goodbye to the man he loved. Now he was thirteen years in the past and he had their whole relationship in front of them. So surely anything was possible now. Once you have woken up in your past, what could be impossible.

Unless he was not in the past. Unless Eddie’s death had sent him insane. Maybe the funeral had just been too much and he had given in and gone full-on crazy. He had shut down and this whole thing was just his brain trying to cope with the unspeakable truth. Maybe he was actually in a padded room somewhere in 2028 while his family talked to the doctors and tried to help him. Deep down Buck knew that was not the case, because he would never have done that to his family. He never would have done that to Christopher. He, Chris, and Eddie were a team and you never leave a team member behind. Chris has already lost Eddie, Buck would never put him through losing Buck as well. He loved Chris too much to do that.

The other option could be that he was in a coma. That he was lying in a hospital bed surrounded by machines that were keeping him alive. Maybe he had gotten into an accident after the funeral, a car crash and now he was in a coma. He could wake up at any moment and go back to his life. Only he did not want to wake up, if he woke up he would be back in a world without Eddie. He didn’t want to live in a world without him. If he was in a medical coma he did not want to wake up.

It was at that moment Buck realized he was home. He was at the end of the street that the house that he had shared with Eddie and Christopher was on. Buck drove up and parked out front of the Diaz house. He loved that house. It had become his home long before he and Eddie had gotten together and even longer before they had shared it together. It had been the one place he had lived in his life that had become a home. It was a safe place for him. It was also a happy place. The happiest place. Every memory was a happy one. Even the sad ones because they had been in his home which he shared with his family. His home which he shared with his family. The family home.

The house he was parked outside represented everything he had ever wanted. A place that he belonged, somewhere he was wanted, somewhere he was needed. He had shared the house with people he loved and who had loved him back just as much. Buck looked closer at the house and saw all the differences. Firstly it was the wrong color, it was still alight Beige color. Buck remembered painting it an olive green color with Eddie, Chim, and Albert a few years ago. The mailbox was also wrong, they had gotten a new one after Eddie had hit this one with his Truck because he had been rushing to get home after a fight with Buck. The car parked outside was a sedan, not Eddie’s massive and overpriced truck. The flowers that he and Christopher had planted were not there.

This place was not his home. The people inside were not his family.

Buck wondered who they were, the people who lived there now. Was it a family? Two parents and a kid, like him, Eddie and Chris. Were they as happy as they had been in that house? Buck wondered why they moved out, maybe the house had become too small for them. Maybe they had more than one kid and they needed more bedrooms. He and Eddie had talked about having more kids but the timing had never been planned out. They had also talked about getting married but they never got around to that either. Once more Buck thought about all the wasted time.

He would not waste it this time around. This time around he would cherish every moment he got to spend with not only Eddie and Chris but the whole extended family. Buck would make sure he used all this time to the fullest. Make every moment count. This time around he would make the most of his time, he knew what was important. He could use his future knowledge to help his family, to spare them pain and heartbreak. Buck thought about how many lives he could save on calls because he knew exactly how they were going to go down. He could save so many people. Buck knew what he had to do.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 - The Plan

Buck spent the next two weeks getting used to his new life, well more like his old life. He quickly made a few very smart bets on sporting games that he remembered the outcome of, which allowed his bank balance to triple. He then invested that money into companies he knew would only become more successful in the next ten years. He had not moved out of the shared loft yet, but only due to a lack of time to find his own place. Finding an estate agent was on his to-do list. He just had yet to find the time as he was bartending at night after training all day. He worked at a bar just down the road from where the shared loft was.

Luckily for Buck, he had not lost any of his skills as a bartender due to the many times he had shown off his bartending skills to the 118. He had actually been the bartender for May’s twenty-first birthday party in the backyard of Athena’s house. That was a happy memory for Buck, he had gotten to show off his skills behind the bar and his teammate had definitely been impressed by his cocktail-making skills.

The rest of his time was spent in the academy. The training was easy. Not only was Buck in great shape, but he also had over ten years of firefighting experience. He was not some wide-eyed probie but an experienced and competent firefighter. He was confident that he would come out top of his class and be quickly recruited to the 118. Until then he just had to wait.

Buck had just gotten home from training and had a couple of hours to kill before he needed to leave for work at the bar. He was glad life had been busy, getting things set up and working what were essentially two full-time jobs. It meant there was less time to miss everyone. To miss his family. Less time to focus on how he was alone. It was temporary though, by the end of the year he would be working at the 118 and back with his team, his family. Till then he just had to wait for Eddie to move to LA. He just needed to be patient.

“Hey Will,” Buck greeted as he walked into the common area of the loft. Buck had finally found out the guy's name who had been studying on the couch the first morning he had woken up in his past. It was Will Andrews. Buck had a vague memory of him from the first time around, but they had not been close. This time Buck paid more attention to him. Will was ex-air force and currently studying to become a lawyer. He was also a bartender but at a different place to the other guys who lived there. He was quieter than the others and kept to himself more than anyone else who Buck lived with, that was why Buck had not remembered his name when they first met. They had not been close the first time around.

“Hey Bucko,” Will smiled from the kitchen, “Coffee?”

“I’d love some. Got another long shift at the bar tonight,” Buck replied, leaning against the counter.

“I heard you had a tough night last night?” Will asked him.

“Yep, two groups of frat boys got into a massive fight,” Buck told him, “Completely trashed the place. Took ages to clean up,”.

“Heard that because you let Olly and Dan leave and did most of it yourself,” Will told him while pouring up a cup of coffee and then handing it to him.

“They had a party they wanted to check out,” Buck said with a shrug and then took a sip of his coffee, “It wasn’t a big deal,”.

“You didn’t want to go?” Will asked, curiously.

Buck understood that his roommates must have noticed a change in him, that the partying and bringing home strangers suddenly stopped.

“Didn’t really feel like my kind of thing anymore,” Buck said with a shrug.

“Listen, don’t mention this to the others, but there is a job going at the bar I work at. It would be better money, better hours, less cleaning up after bar fights,” Will explained, “I could put in a word with the boss for you? He’s a good guy. ”.

“Really?” Buck asked, he really did hate working at the bar. Not only was it not what he wanted to be doing, but it was also full of college kids who were loud and did not tip very well, “The hours would have to fit around my training for the LAFD”.

“You're off tomorrow right?” Will asked and Buck responded with a nod, “Come down and talk to Marco, the owner, he's a good guy. If he likes you the job will be yours,”.

“Thanks, Will,” Buck said with a smile. This was good.

“You are a good guy, Buckley. You always are considerate of others unlike some of the people we live with,” Will replied.

“Yeah, it can't be easy studying while living here,” Buck commented, thinking about how loud the place could be with so many people living here. There were always people coming and going at odd hours. He needed to move soon. He needed his own place.

“As soon as I've got enough money saved, I’m moving somewhere quiet with fewer people,” Will said as he left the kitchen to get back to studying.

Buck stayed and finished his coffee. Doing the washing up while he was there. He quickly wondered if anything would change if he ended up working at this other bar. He did not think there was anything major that had happened because of his current bar job. He was sure it would be fine. From the sounds of it, Will’s bar drew a much more reasonable crowd of people. He had heard Will talk about having regulars and he had only said nice things about his boss Marco. Buck felt he was way too old to be dealing with Frat boys even if he was technically only twenty-four, mentally though he felt he was still thirty-six.

Buck needed to head to Target before work to stock up on a few things so after making a quick sandwich to eat on his break later that night, he headed out waving goodbye to Will on his way and confirming he would swing by the bar tomorrow afternoon to talk to Marco. Luckily traffic was on his side and he made it to Target much quicker than expected. He grabbed what he needed before wandering around to kill the rest of the time before his shift. As he was looking at the Ipads, missing his technology of the future, he felt someone run into his legs. Buck looked down and could not believe what he was seeing.

“Sorry Mr,” a very young Denny Wilson mumbled.

Buck stood still and just stared at the boy. Denny was so young, maybe five or six years old. He was adorable. Buck had not met Denny till he was at least eight, also a year after he started at the 118, it was so bizarre to see him so young. The last time he had seen Denny was at the funeral and he had been a 6’1 nineteen-year-old. Denny and Chris were best friends and Denny had been there comforting Chris.

“That’s okay, Bud,” Buck replied, crouching down to the boy's level, “Are you lost? Where is your Mom?”.

“I’m not sure,” Denny said, “I got distracted by the video games and when I turned around she was gone,”.

“Well, let’s go and find her?” Buck said, his heart was bumping into his chest at the idea he might be able to see either Hen or Karen, “What’s your Mom’s name?”

“I have two Moms,” Denny told him proudly.

“You do? That’s awesome!” Buck replied enthusiastically, “I’m Buck,”.

“Denny,” the little boy held out his hand and Buck happily shook it, over the boy's head he saw a familiar face. Hen stood at the end of the aisle frantically looking around for her son.

“Is that your Mom over there, Denny?” Buck asked, pointing at Hen.

Denny nodded before yelling, “Mom, over here!”

Hen quickly turned around and made her way over to them, wrapping an arm around Denny.

“Denny! Where did you go? You scared me,” Hen told him the relief at finding him clear on her face.

“Sorry, Mommy,” Denny said, doing his best to look super cute in the hopes it would get him out of trouble for wandering off, “This is my friend Buck. He was going to help me find you but you found us first,”.

“Thank you so much!” Hen said, turning toward Buck.

“No problem. You have a really great kid!” Buck told her.

“Thank you! I certainly think so” Hen said with a laugh.

Buck quickly tried to think of something to say, not wanting the conversation to end and for Hen to walk away, “I think he got distracted by the video games,”

“That makes sense! We got him a console for Christmas and he has become obsessed,” Hen told him. Buck already knew this about Denny as he had spent many nights playing games with him and Chris.

“What’s your favorite game?” Buck asked Denny.

“Mario kart!” Denny answered enthusiastically, this made sense as Denny would become the undefeated champion of Mario cart in the future.

“No way! That’s my favorite too! I away come last on rainbow road though!” Buck replied, matching the kid’s enthusiasm.

“That’s because it’s the hardest level!” Denny told him.

“We should finish shopping, thank you again for helping Denny” Hen told him, “You really are a lifesaver”.

“Not yet,” Buck answered amused by his own joke. Hen raised an eyebrow, “I’m training to be a firefighter!”

“Seriously! I’m a firefighter!” Hen told him. Buck obviously already knew this. Hen was a firefighter at the best station of them all. The 118.

“No way! Denny, you didn’t mention your Mom was a total superhero!” Buck said, making Denny giggle.

“How’s the training going? Do you like it?” Hen asked him, Buck was glad she had asked as he was not ready for the conversation to end.

“I love it! Honestly, I think I’ve found what I’m meant to do with my life,” Buck told her honestly.

“That’s great! Maybe we’ll work together someday!” Hen said offhandedly, not knowing how true her words would be.

“Maybe we will,” said Buck with a soft smile knowing they would work together for years before Hen left to become an awesome Doctor. He had loved working with Hen. That had been the golden age of the 118.

“We’ll let you get back to your shopping,” Hen said, wrapping her arm around Denny, she was not going to lose him again.

“Bye guys,” Buck said with a wave, “It was nice meeting you two, bye Denny”.

“Bye-bye Buck” Denny said as he and Hen walked off.

Buck stood in the electronic aisle completely shocked. He had not expected that. He never thought his trip to Target would turn out like this. He talked to Hen. She had not a clue who he was, which had been disturbing on several levels. Buck felt shocked at what had just occurred. He had thought countless times about arranging an accidental meeting between himself and the people who would one day call him family. Buck had considered lurking in the aisles of Bobby’s favorite Supermarket and accidentally bumping into the man who would one day become a father to him. He had even imagined how the conversation would go, Buck would subtly mention a love of cooking and bring up a recipe he was going to try out, that recipe being one of Bobby’s specialties. Bobby being Bobby, would offer advice and maybe even give Buck his number and tell him to message him if he had any issues. Buck would message him and then before he knew it he would be having weekly cooking lessons with Bobby.

Buck had spent a lot of time thinking about this but ultimately decided that it was not worth the risk. He could not risk the future, risking meeting Bobby early and accidentally changing the future in some catastrophic way. Buck also worried about saying too much, what if Buck mentioned something that he should not know and freaked Bobby and made him think that Buck was some form of crazy stalker. It was too big of a risk, he decided he would have to wait and meet his team members the way it had happened originally.

Except that had not happened, instead he had bumped into Hen randomly on a Thursday night in Target of all places. What were the chances? It was a massive coincidence. Or was it, Buck thought. Maybe this was the universe putting Hen in his path. Giving him a glimpse of what he needed to see. Reminding him that his family was out there and just were all just waiting to come together and become a family once more.

Buck smiled. He had seen Hen and Denny. He had seen the women he loved just as much as his own biological sister. Hen was his sister. She was the person he turned to when he and Eddie first got together and Eddie was struggling with the idea of people judging them for being two men in a relationship. Hen’s support and advice had been invaluable to Buck. Her son Denny would become Chris’s closest friend. They both went to different schools and had their own separate friend groups but the pair got each other as none of their other friends could. Denny, Chris, and Harry as well were all the children of first responders, they all understand what that felt like. Over the years all of them would be there for one another through their parents' individual hospital stays. The three boys had an unbreakable bond as the children of the 118.

Buck remembered Denny standing tall at Eddie’s funeral. Both he and Harry had rallied around Chris after the death of his father and kept him from being alone. The boys always knew that their parents had dangerous jobs, but they also knew they would also fight to come home at the end of each day. When Eddie was unable to do that both Denny and Harry knew that Christopher’s worst fear had come true and they understood that because it was their worst fear as well.

Eventually, Buck had to leave the target to get to what he hoped might be his last shift at the bar if this other job panned out. Before he left he picked up a postcard to send to Maddie.

Dear Maddie,
Do you believe in fate? That the Universe works to get you where you need to be. That there is some kind of plan for us? I think I do. Sometimes just when you feel at your lowest you get sent something that gives you hope. Hope that in the end everything will be okay and work out in the end. I love you, Maddie.
Wish you were here.
Buck xx

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 - Times are a Changing

Buck made his way across town to the address that Will had texted him. He was heading to the bar that Will worked at to talk to the owner Marco about the possibility of a job. This was not something that had happened the first time around, but Buck was embracing the change. Especially after last night where two separate people had thrown up in places that were not the bathrooms. Buck felt the time of cleaning up people's vomit was definitely over. That part of his life was done with. If he was totally honest he was also ready for his career as a bartender to also be over, sadly he still had months of training to become a firefighter left, Buck just hoped that this place would be better than where he was now.

Buck parked the jeep and walked down the street. He had been to this area but not until many years into the future. He was pretty sure the copy shop he had just walked past would one day become his and Eddie’s favourite Chinese restaurant for their date nights. Buck knew that in the next five years this area would become much trendier and property would skyrocket in value. Maybe he needed to look at getting himself a property around here. He walked past a couple of cute restaurants and takeaways as well as a twenty-four-hour gym before he arrived at his destinations.

The bar was called Patty’s. Its name was lit up above the dark green door, there were tall windows on either side of the door but you could not see in through the shutters. There were also a couple of benches outside and flower beds full of fresh flowers. The place looked nice. Buck liked it. He went inside and saw that it was not too busy, but there were a few people in, which was surprising given it was early Friday afternoon and most people were still at work.

The main thing that caught Buck’s eye was the bar itself. It was the main focus of the space. It was large and made out of solid dark oak. It was clearly old and made my hand. It was a thing of beauty. The rest of the space was nice. There were booths along one wall and then a mixture of high and low tables as well. The lighting was low but there was a lot of it, so the bar definitely was not dark. Buck caught sight of Will behind the bar, he was just finishing up serving an older gentleman, so Buck made his way over.

“Nice place,” Buck commented, sitting down on one of the stools.

“Hey Buck,” Will said with a nod, “Glad you stopped by,”.

“Course, happy too,” Buck said, “So this is where you work,”.

“It is,” Will said. There was a pause. This was something that Buck noticed about Will. He was nice and friendly but was not overly chatty. He would talk to you if he had something to say, but often he preferred to keep to himself. He was a very private person, he sometimes reminded Buck of Eddie in that regard.

“So your Boss, Marco?” Buck promoted.

“He’s just in the back,” Will told him, gesturing to a door in the corner that said privately on it “You can just head back, he’s expecting you,”.

“Any advice?” Buck asked as he got up to head to talk to Marco.

“Marco’s a good guy, just be honest and straightforward with him. He’ll be more interested in knowing who you are as a person than your previous bar experience,” Will told him.

Buck nodded before heading over to the door, he knocked and then opened the door to see it lead to a staircase he walked up the stairs and then came another door, he knocked once again and this time heard someone shout come in.

Buck walked into what clearly was half stock room for decorations and old furniture and half office. Sat in an armchair with an open tablet and notebook was a man Buck assumed was Marco. He was an older black man, most likely in his sixties. He had grey hair and grey scruff on his face as well. He was dressed smartly, in tan pants with a white button-up shirt.

“Hello, are you Marco?” Buck greeted and asked.

The man looked up from his notebook, “I am,”.

“Hello sir, My name is Evan Buckley, I’m a friend of Will’s” Buck introduced walking over and holding out his hand.

Marco stood up and shook his hand, “Ah yes! William mentioned you would be stopping by for a chat about a job. Take a seat, son”.

Buck and Marco sat down opposite in arms chairs from each other, “You have a great place, that Bar is a thing of beauty,”

“Well thank you very much,” Marco said genuinely happy with Buck’s compliment, “I built it myself nearly forty years ago,”.

“You did?” Buck asked in surprise, “That’s incredible!”.

Marco chucked at Buck’s enthusiasm, “I did, my father was a carpenter and taught me everything he knew. I built that bar with my own two hands,”.

“That’s amazing, the work you must have put into that, you must be very proud,” Buck told him.

“I am,” Marco replied, “So Evan…”

“You can call me Buck, please,” Buck offered.

“Okay, Buck,” Marco nodded with a smile, “Tell me what’s the thing you are proudest of in your life?”

Buck was a little taken aback by the question. Will had warned him that Marco would want to know more about him as a person than his experience or qualification but he had not been expecting that question. His answer would obvious to him the thing he was proudest of was Christopher. The boy was like a son to him and was so strong and resilient. Chris always got up whenever he got knocked down. The second thing was his career as a firefighter and all the good he had done, the people he had saved. The problem was he could not say those things because both Chris and his firefighter years were ahead of him.

Buck would have to think on his feet, maybe keep it vague, “The thing I’m proudest of...is my heart,”.

“You’re heart?” Marco asked, clearly surprised by his answer.

Buck was unsure where that had come from but decided to go with it, “Yes, I care about people. I want to help people. I’ve been hurt in the past, people often leave me, I’ve lost people I’ve loved but...my heart and ability to open it up to new people and keep letting people in. To keep trying to find...the place I belong,”.

Marco looked at him, sizing him up and trying to get a read on the young man who was sitting before him, “You lost someone recently?”

“Yes,” Buck answered with a nod.

“Someone you loved?” Marco asked and Buck nodded again, “I’m very sorry for your loss, son,”.

“Thank you, sir,” Buck said and looked down, not wanting to meet Marco’s eye. This was not going at all how he expected it to go.

“I lost my wife many years ago when my daughter was still a young girl. The grief never goes away but it does ease with time,” Marco told him softly.

“Thank you, I'm very sorry to hear about your wife,” Buck told him, knowing the pain that came with losing the one you loved.

“Thank you, she was the love of my life. But I thank God every day that I did not lose my daughter in the fire as well,” Marco told him.

“Your wife died in a fire,” Buck said, not believing that they had both lost the person they loved in the same way.

“House fire,” Marco confirmed.

“Erm...I don’t know if Will told you...but I'm actually in my training now. Training to join the Los Angeles Fire Department,” Buck confessed, “I’m hoping to be done around September time,”.

“He didn’t,” Marco replied, “That is very impressive though. Now tell me where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Buck tried his best not to laugh at the question but he must have failed and Marco followed up by adding, “I know it’s a stereotypical question, but humour me,”.

“Well, I’ll have a kid for sure, who will know that no matter what I’ll love him no matter what and I'll always be there. I’ll be a firefighter with a team who are like my family and….and there’ll be a man. A man I’ll love with my whole heart and who will love me back then the same way,” Buck answered.

“You sound sure of yourself,” Marco commented with a raised eyebrow.

“I am...He’s out there. He’s waiting for me to come into his life and turn his world upside down. I’m going to devote my life to making him happy, making every moment we have and share together count,” Buck told Marco confidently, thinking about how he had struggled to sleep each night that week because there had been something missing beside him. Eddie had been missing. Once they were together Buck would love him how Eddie deceived to be loved.

“He’s a lucky guy,” Marco said, “And somehow I don’t doubt you’ll end up exactly where you say you will. Right next question, who is someone you admire greatly?”

Bobby was the first person that came to mind, but Buck knew he should stop talking about people he had not actually met in this timeline yet. So he went with his second choice, “That’s easy, my older sister Maddie. She practically raised me herself even though she was only a kid herself. She is kind and supportive, but also strong. She's gone through so much but always comes out fighting. She’s my constant supporter,”.

“Good answer,” Marco praised, “Football or baseball?”

“Football,” Buck answered without hesitation.

“Wings or Pizza?” Marco asked.

“Both,” Buck answered once more with no hesitation.

“A sunset or sunrise?” Marco questioned.

Buck paused, “Sunrise,”

“Okay, final questions,” Marco told him, “Can you pour a drink?”

Buck laughed, “I can, Sir,”.

“Jobs yours if you want it, Buck,” Marco told him.

“Seriously?” Buck asked, “Just like that,”.

“Just like that,” Marco echoed, “You seem like a good lad. You seem older than your years. I think you’re going to be a good fit here. Also, don’t worry about your hours, we will make sure they fit around your training. I don’t want you going off to fight fires tired after a late-night here,”.

“Thank you, but I'm not actually fighting fires yet,” Buck told him.

“Still what you are doing is important so we will work out the hours,” Marco said, “Now come on let’s go and have a drink to celebrate,”.

Buck was walking down the street after handing in his notice at the bar he was currently working at, agreeing to finish up his shift for that week, which was more than most of the staff who left did. That was one thing off his to-do list done. Next was to get his own place and moved out of the house share but in order to do that he needed to sort out his finances. Buck was aware that he needed to use the knowledge of the future to invest and make money but he needed to actually put that into action and do it.

He had made an appointment with his bank and invested the money he had in his savings account already and began his application to buy his own place as he had no intention of renting his time around. Currently, he was searching online but he knew he would need to find an estate agent. Buck missed just being able to ask his family for help with things like that. In the future, he had a full support system and if he had needed an estate agent one of the 118 would have been able to recommend one.

It was a nice day in LA, the sun was out and the people with it. It was still odd for Buck just to walk around in the past. He saw shops that no longer existed and people wearing clothes that in his time would have been considered a throwback. It was crazy how different the world would be in just thirteen years. How much would change?

“Stop! Police!” Buck heard two people yell and a young guy running towards him. Buck imminently without thinking tripped the guy causing him to crash to the ground. One young officer quickly caught up and imminently handcuffed the man on the floor and began reading him his rights.
“Thanks, for that,” a familiar voice said, “Very quickly reflexes,”.

Buck’s head whipped around and stood in front of him was Sargent Athena Grant herself. Buck could not believe it. He had gone out of his way not to go and see anyone and yet for the second time in two weeks one of his future family was standing right in front of him. First Hen and now Athena. What were the odds?

“No worries,” Buck said after a pause. He had to blink and hold back the tears of seeing the woman who had become an also mother figure to him in the future. Though they had not started out on the best footing they had become family and he loved her and knew that Athena loved him back, “What was he arrested for?”

“Assault and robbery,” Athena answered, as the pair watched the other officer place him in the back of the car, “Mind if I get some details off you? For my report,”.

“Of course,” Buck offered maybe a little too enthusiastically, “Anything to help LAPD’s finest,”.

Athena gave him her patented stare that Buck was very well accustomed to in the future and Buck ducked his head in embarrassment.

“I’m Buck,” Buck said, holding out his hand.

Athena raised her eyebrow at him but shook his hand, “Nice to meet you, Buck. As I said, we appreciate the help. I’m Sargent Grant,”.

“Very nice to meet you, Sargent,” he replied once again too enthusiastically. He was just too happy to be talking to Athena.

Athena got out her notebook and asked, “I’m assuming Buck isn’t your real name,”.

“No, Ma’am,” Buck responded, “Evan Buckley, Buck is just a nickname,”.

“And what were you doing in this area Buck?” she asked him, clearly his sunny disposition had made her suspicious of him.

“I’ve just handed in my notice at the bar I work out,” Buck answered, “I got another job across town at this bar called Patty’s. You should come in and have a drink sometime!”.

“So you are a bartender?” Athena asked.

“For now. I’m training for the LAFD actually,” Buck admitted.

“Well you certainly have the reflexes for it,” Athena replied and Buck beamed at the praise.

“Thank you!” he replied, “I’ve only just started really, but I’m excited. Maybe we’ll work together one day!”.

“I doubt that,” Athena responded, “LA’s a big city and I don’t often work with the same firehouse,”.

Buck tried not to laugh at how untrue Athena’s statement would be. Athena Grant was basically an unofficial member of the 118, by the amount of time she spent in the firehouse.

Buck wondered what was going on in her life right now. He knew Athena had been around the first year he had joined the 118 but it was not till after she had married Bobby that they had really gotten close. He knew it was around this year that she and Michael split up after Michael came out but he did not know when that was. He wondered if she was okay and if there was anything he could do to help her. May would be a teenager and Harry is still a little boy. It was crazy to think about them like that.

Athena asked him a couple more questions and got his contact number before she got into the squad car and drove off.

Just like when he met Hen Buck felt the same amount of longing for the family he would one day have. He could not believe that it had happened again

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 - April

Dear Maddie,
So much has happened since my last postcard. I’ve got a new bartending job working for this guy called Marco who is really awesome and gives the best advice. I feel a real kinship towards him. The hours and pay are so much better. Training is going well but I have to admit I can’t wait to start now. Trying not to wish time away but also I’m inpatient. How are you? How’s work? Are you still saving lives as the world's best nurse? I miss you every day and can’t help thinking about all the fun we would have together. The Buckley siblings take LA by storm! I miss you.
I wish you were here.
Love Buck.

Life kept going and Buck was adapting quickly to his new version of his old life. He missed his family every day and had to stop himself from counting down the days till he got to see them again. He would get there. He had faith that everything would work out. He still spent his nights’ awake thinking about the reason this had happened to him. If there was a point, a reason for what had happened to him. If some form of higher power had done this to him. Buck had also gone into full research mode. Buying books on the theory of time travel and falling down the rabbit hole of Youtube videos dedicated to the ideas and practical aspects of time travel. He had even emailed a professor at UCLA who had written countless papers on time travel but he had not heard back.

As well as the research he had also gone into full planning mode. He had bought several notebooks and filled them with every detail he could remember of the next thirteen years. Trying to figure out dates that certain major events had been tricky, to say the least. Some dates, like the day Eddie got shot or the Tsunami, were burned into his brain forever. Others however were not, like the date he got crushed under the firetruck, May’s suicide attempt, the day Doug had kidnapped Maddie and stabbed Chimney. He had an idea of when they happened, but pinpointing the actual day was difficult. He only hoped that nearer the time it would become clearer. That as events unfolded he would be able to remember and stop them.

He had also used the notebooks to note down any events that he could place money on. Major sporting events or political elections. Buck had written down every Superbowl winner for the next thirteen years, as well as Oscar results he could remember as well. Any money he had made he was splitting half into savings for his own place and the other half he was investing in companies he knew would make a profit in the future. He had actually surprised himself with how much he had been able to square away in such a short amount of time. Turns out future knowledge was a great way to make money quickly.

Buck knew that money was not everything but it certainly did help. He and Eddie had saved for years to take Chris on trips to Mexico and New York. They had worked all the extra shifts they could get and barely seen each other to be able to afford it. Plus Buck knew how hard it had been for Eddie to get enough money for college for Chris while also paying all extra health care costs that came with having a child with CP. This time around Buck was planning to have enough money for them not to worry about any of that. He knew money would not bring happiness but it would cause less stress.

Meanwhile, he was loving the new job at Patty's. Working with Will was easy and the two had developed a natural rhythm. Marco was maybe the best boss he had ever had (Sorry Bobby) he was incredibly fair and Buck found talking to the oldest man really easy. He had to keep himself from spilling all of his secrets to Marco, though Buck did think Marco would just take it in his stride if he did ever tell him. The customers were laid back and a much nicer crowd. Like Will had told him there were a lot of locals and regulars who came in. Buck made more in tips than he ever had before in his life. He was already considering keeping his job after he started at 118 and just doing a night or two a week. Just because he liked it so much.

It was a Tuesday night and Buck was behind the bar with Will. It was getting close to closing time and the rush of the night had died down. The pair had done all the cleaning jobs so they were just left with glasses that people were using. They were now just chatting behind the bar. Buck did not know a lot about Will personally but what he did know is that he is easy to talk to. It seemed that Buck Will had no interest in talking about himself or his past. Instead, the pair would often talk about Big Questions. The point of life? Can you ever really be happy? Do you believe in ghosts? Those kinds of things. Tonight the pair were debating free will?

“I don’t know if I do believe in free will,” Will stated casually, “I think that we often dismiss things as coincidence or fate maybe when in actual fact it was some higher power taking your choice away from you”.

“So you think nothing we do matters because no matter because everything is decided for us, our choices don’t affect where we end up in life?” Buck asked, enjoying their conversation of the free will debate.

“Of course choices matter,” Will told him, “They are the only thing that matter, our choices make up who we are as people. We choose who we are going to be and what we are going to do,”.

“So what are you saying?” Buck asked, trying to understand Will’s perspective and apply it to his own situation. You did not get sent back in time without believing in some form of a higher power.

“I’m saying that. Let’s say you need to be in Spain on your Forty-first birthday, no matter what choices you make you will get you there. If something is meant to be, our actions do not matter because we will always end up where we need to be,” Will explained, with a shrug of his shoulders.

“What if where you are is terrible? What if you end up homeless?” Buck suggested, thinking back to all the bad things that had happened to his family and most of all Eddie’s death. Buck could not believe what Will was saying because that would mean no matter what he did this time around it would still always end in Eddie’s death. “Does that mean you were always meant to become homeless no matter what choices you made?”

Will paused thinking about Buck’s words, “I think that we can’t just get rid of the bad because if you did you might also get rid of the good,”.

“I don’t understand, if you get rid of the bad stuff how does that get rid of the good?”

“Because sometimes the bad leads to the good. For example, you get hit by a car, which is bad. You end up in the hospital, but while you are there you make a new friend and that friend ends up introducing you to your future spouse. Now getting hit by the car was bad but if you didn’t get hit by the car you wouldn’t have gone to the hospital and made a new friend. No friend, then there is no one to introduce to the love of your life. The bad leads to the Good. Remove the bad and…”

“The good never happens,” Buck finished, thinking of the trauma that he had gone through but how it had led to the 118 and his family and the bad things had brought them closer together.

“However maybe you were meant to meet that person and if you didn’t get hit by the car you ended up meeting them in a coffee shop instead,” Will suggested.

“So no matter what happened you would have always met that person,” Buck concluded, “You think that certain events might be fixed. That even if we went back in time to try and stop then they might happen anyway,”.

“I never mention time travel,” Will laughed, “Time travel hurts my head, but essentially yes that’s what I’m saying,”.

“You two don’t half talk some rubbish,” Marco stated as he walked up to the bar, “How long till you call last orders?”

“Another half-hour,” Will answered, with a shrug, “Few groups still in, been a steady night,”.

“Good, good,” Marco answered, “Will, head home, you’ve got class tomorrow,”.

“I don’t mind staying and helping close down,” Will offered, not liking the idea of leaving the close down to Buck alone.

“I’ll help our young Buckly,” Marco told him, “You need sleep, kid, you work far too much,”.

“He’s right, I’ve got this,” Buck said, siding with Marco, knowing his friend needed rest, “I saw you getting coffee when I got up to go to the gym this morning, you hadn’t slept, go get a full night's sleep,”.

“Okay, Okay,” Will said, raising his hands and moving to grab his jacket from the storeroom behind the bar, “I’m going, you two have a good night,”.

“Night Will,” Buck called as he waved goodbye as Will left the bar.

“That boy is all work and no play,” Marco muttered as he settled down at the end of the bar at his usual stool.

Buck grabbed him his usual drink, whiskey neat, “I know, I don’t think I've ever seen him do anything other than work or study,”.

Marco smiled as Buck put his drink in front of him, “Thanks kid, you are a quick learner,”.

“I’ve been told that before,” Buck replied.

“Speaking of young people who should be out having more fun,” Marco began.

“Marco,” Buck said in a warning tone, “I’m fine. I’ve told you I'm fine, you don’t need to worry about me, everything is under control,”.

“Don’t lie to me, Buckley. I may not have known you very long but I do know you,” Marco told him firmly, “It’s like you are waiting for your life to start, you need to get out there and live,”.

“I will,” Buck promised, “There is just some stuff I need to get in order first,”

“You don’t want to wake up one day and realise you’ve wasted all your time,” Marco told him, unaware that Buck had already lived that day. The day he had woken up after Eddie’s death. All he had been able to think about was the years they had wasted just being friends because they had both been scared. Scared to change things and mess things up. Now Buck could fix that mistake and he could have years together with the man he loved.

“I won’t, Marco,” Buck told him, “I’m not wasting a second of my time,”.

The sun had just set as Buck made his way home. He walked into the shared living space hoping to find Will sitting studying at the large dining table or on the couch. Only to find Olly and Dan playing video games on the couch instead. Clearly, a few beers in and settled in for the night. Buck sighed he liked both Olly and Dan, he just felt so much older than them. He was aware how confusing it must be for them, for their laid back friend Buck to suddenly grow up overnight. He had gone from parting with them most nights to now spending most of his nights either working or hanging out at Patty’s or driving around LA. To them the change had been sudden, Buck had changed overnight. He had gone from being just like them to suddenly ten years older than them, at least mentally.

“Hey guys,” Buck greeted, not wanting to be rude.

“Hey Buck,” Dan greeted in his British accent, “How’s it going, mate?”

“You wanna join us?” Olly offered, nodding to the spare controller.

Buck looked over to the TV to see what they were playing. It was the latest Halo game. Buck sighed, video games had been such a big part of his life. They were his, Eddie and Chris’ thing. Something they had done together for years. Eddie had once referred to it as his kind of therapy and Buck agreed that there was no better way to relax than playing video games with his boys. He had tried to play since waking up in his past, only the games were all bad quality and just felt old.

“I’m good,” Buck said, hoping he was not coming across as rude.

“You sure? We’ve hardly seen you these past few weeks,” Dan commented, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, course,” Buck told him, coming further towards them and sitting down on the other couch next to them, “Just been busy training and working at Patty’s. Trying to get enough money together for my own place,”.

“You want to rent your own place? That's expensive in LA,” Dan commented, with a low whistle.

“I’m actually thinking of buying,” Buck confessed, knowing he needed to let the people he lived with know what he was thinking, “I’ve got some money saved up, I just need an estate agent. I’ve met with a couple but they haven’t really taken me seriously”.

“My sister is an estate agent,” Olly said offhandedly.

“She is?” Buck asked, he didn’t even know Olly had a sister.

“Yeah, she’s well good at her job,” Olly added, eyes not leaving the screen where he was shooting aliens, “I’ll text you her number. Give her a call bet she’ll be able to find whatever you are looking for,”

“That’s awesome!” Buck said one less thing on his to-do-list, “Thanks man,”.

“No sweat!” Olly replied with a wave of his hand, “If she finds your dream place you owe me a six-pack”.

“Deal,” Buck agreed.

The next day Buck was getting ready to finish up training when his training officer called him over.

“Buckley!” Captain Sanders yelled, “There is someone here to see you in the office. You better not be in any trouble kid!”.

Buck was confused by the captain’s statement, “No that I know of, Sir,”.

“Don’t keep her waiting,” Sanders said before walking off. That was an odd thought Buck.

He went into the office where he saw a familiar face, “Sargent Grant! Nice to see you again,”.

Athena was leaning against the table in full uniform, “Buckley, got a statement I need to you to read over and sign regarding the culprit we arrested the other day, the one you assisted with,”

Buck smiled brightly, “Of course! Whatever I can do to help!”.

Buck walked over and Athena handed him a file with a statement in it.

“How’s your day going?” He asked as he began to scan the document which was basically a breakdown of what had happened that day.

Athena seemed thrown at the question but quickly recovered, “It’s going well. This is my last job of the day before I get to head home to my husband and kids,”.

Buck's brain supplied an image of Bobby and adult May and a teenage Harry before he caught himself. Athena was going home to Michael, who was still her husband at this point and a teenage May and her little boy Harry. It was a different version of the family that Buck knew. Buck always liked all of the Grant family. Harry and Christopher were good friends and especially in their teenage years, Harry was a regular guest at the Buckley/Diaz house. Harry was the oldest of the trio by a year, and he took that with a level of responsibility to look after Denny and Chris in a sort of big brother way. Buck liked Michael, the man was family and Buck particularly liked watching Michael and Bobby interact, the two together always seem to get into ridiculous situations.

May might be Buck’s favourite Grant. Buck had gotten to know May after she had begun working with Maddie. Buck was in the middle of the large 911 family where he towed the line between the younger group and the older. May was the oldest of the firefam’s children and had gone through a difficult transition to be taken seriously by the other family members who still saw her as a kid. Not just any kids either but Athena’s kid. As normal it was the trauma that had cemented his friendship with May. The pair had gone through a lock-in situation where they had been trapped together after an earthquake. They had both been trapped and had opened up to each other after seriously thinking they would not get out alive. May had been the first person he had ever confessed his feelings for Eddie too. Trapped together thinking they might be having their last conversation.

They had not died, they had been rescued by the 118 some hours later, but the friendship had been formed. Despite the confession, Buck and Eddie had not gotten together for another three years, much to May’s dismay. The pair met regularly and became each other’s confidants. Buck loved the rest of his family but they were a bunch of gossips and terrible secret keepers. Buck and May had a deal that everything stayed between the two of them. That deal had gotten complicated years later for Buck when May became caught up in a romance with Albert. The pair had dated in secret for almost a year before splitting up because May had not wanted to tell her mother.

Unfortunately, the drama only grew from there and Albert moved on (way too quickly in Buck’s opinion) and married a girl he had been seeing for only three months, which broke May’s heart. To make things worse May and Albert could not stay away from each other and ended up having an affair that left May pregnant. Eventually, the whole thing had come out and caused massive drama in the 118 and in the family with the whole family split up and taking sides. Buck had been slap bang in the middle between them as Albert and May were families to him. It had been a massive mess and caused a lot of uproar between the firefam. Luckily by the time the little baby Callie Han-Grant. People had calmed down and May and Albert had decided to give their relationship a proper chance for their child.

Once Callie entered the world, everything settled and the firefam was once again just happy to have a new baby among them. Athena had settled into the role of grandmother, though she had adopted the name Grams. Michael was Grandpa and Bobby was Pops. Although most of the 118 kids called him that thanks to Buck started it as a joke and it never stopped. Callie had just turned two a month before the fire. There was a party, obviously hosted by Bobby and Athena, and it has been the biggest party any two-year-old has ever had. The Grant-Nash family had gone overboard. It was one of Buck’s last memories of them being all together before he got sent back in time and thus one of his favourites.

“Are you okay?” Athena asked him softly, he had clearly got caught up in his head and let some of the pain he kept buried show through.

“I’m fine,” Buck said, shaking his head and putting on a big smile.

“You sure?” Athena asked, clearly not buying what he was selling. Buck actually smiled at this, he had never been able to fool Athena Grant.

Buck nodded, “Just thinking about the past. How many kids do you have?”

“I have two, May and Harry,” Athena told him with a fond smile.

“You must be really proud of them,” Buck added.

“I am,” Athena agreed, “They are the best part of my life. Do you have kids?”

An image of Christopher popped up in his mind “No, not yet. One day I hope. I love kids though! Basically a big one myself or so I’ve been told”.

Athena laughed, not knowing that the person who told him that was her future self, “I’m sure you will. How’s training going?”

“Good, really good. I’m just ready to start. Take my exams in September so not long to go,” Buck replied.

“Feeling confident?” She asked.

Buck smiled, knowing he was going to smash it, “You watched, Sargent Grant. New records will be set. Just you watch,”.

Athena gave him her patterned eyebrow raise and replied “Big talk,”.

“I’ll follow it up, don’t you worry, Sargent,” Buck added, “I’ll invite you to our celebratory drinks when I do,”.

“You set a new record Buckley and I’ll buy the first round,” Athena jokes not knowing that Buck would hold her up to her word.

“You’re on,” Buck agreed, “This all looks correct the way. You got a pen for me to sign,”.

Athena handed him a pen and he signed.

“Thank you for your help, Mr Buckley,” Athena said as she gathered the papers.

“Call me, Buck, please,” he replied.

“Thank you, Buck,” Athena repeated, “And good look with your exams,”.

Buck was sitting in a cafe waiting to meet up with Olly’s sister who was hopefully going to find him somewhere to live. He could not believe how much his future knowledge had helped him make money. He was making more back from his investments than he was from working at the bar and now had a decent amount in his account. Originally his plan had been to buy a house. To put down roots and make a home that would be ready for the family he was just waiting to meet. However he knew buying a house would take time, finding the perfect one, get it checked out, plus houses were expensive, not to mention if he wanted to do any work on it. Now he was thinking of buying an apartment that he could move into immediately while he carried on looking for a house for his future

“Evan Buckley?” A Voice asked, “Buck?”

Buck looked up to see a stunning woman standing in front of him. She had short caramel coloured hair that was cut stylishly just below her jaw and she was wearing what Buck was sure was a designer dark skin tight blue dress with high heels.

“Hello,” Buck greeted in his usual friendly manner, holding out his hand for her to shake “You must be Keria. It’s lovely to meet you, thank you so much for meeting me,”.

Keria shook his hand, looking him up and down clearly sizing him up trying to figure him out.“Nice to meet you, Evan,”.

The pair sit down at the table of the cafe, Keria getting out her phone and placing it directly in line with the cutlery that was laid out, “So Olly tells me you are looking to buy?”

“I am, I’m looking for an apartment, I have a list of areas,” Buck said, handing out his phone to show his list. They were all places that Buck knew were currently seen as less than desirable, but given a few years they would be some of the more expensive places to live in LA and worth at least triple what they are selling now.

Keira nodded as she took the phone and looked at the list, “And anything in particular you want from this apartment,”.

“At least three bedrooms,” Buck stated, “Two baths minimum, some form of outdoor space, roof access, balcony, or if not I need a park nearby. Buildings must have a lift. I like natural light but I don’t want a loft. I want clear rooms, open plan is fine though. Onsite parking is preferred. Also, the building needs to be secure, up to code. Electric doors need a code or a buzz-in system. Also, I want to move in ASAP, don’t want months of waiting for people to move out and I don’t want any big projects that will take months of work,”.

“Evan in these areas won't come cheap,” Keria said, handing back the phone to Buck.

It then occurred to Buck that Keria properly was underestimating him. She’s most likely heard stories about him from Olly and was most likely meeting him as a favour for her brother and not as a potential client who could make her a lot of money off the commissions. Buck decided to set her straight so he typed something on his phone and slid it over to her.

“This is what I had in mind to spend,” He said, sitting back and watching Keria’s reaction. To her credit, she did not give much away, but he did spot her eyes widen just a fraction and a small intake of breath, “I’m happy to go over that but the places would have to tick all the boxes,”.

The waitress came over and Keria ordered a black coffee as Buck ordered another smoothie.

“What do you mean by over? How much?” Keria asked, picking up her phone and jotting down some notes, of the areas Buck was interested in.

“Depends on the property, you find me something that ticks all the boxes and I’d pay maybe an extra twenty on top of that,” Buck said as casually as possible, Keria was certainly taking up seriously now.

“Right, that’s good. I’ll be honest, I was not expecting this when Olly asked me to meet you,” Keria said, putting down the phone to look him in the eye.

“I kinda figured that. I’m serious though,” Buck told her, not waiting to think he was wasting her time, “I’m ready to buy somewhere, I have the money. I’m serious here,”.

Keria was gleeful at this meeting. She had not been expecting this at all. She had thought either this meeting would be a complete waste of time or at best some young guy looking to make his first step on the property ladder. Buck was serious and a sale like this would be a nice commission.

“There’s more,” Buck told her, “I also want a house,”

“A house?” Keira repeated, this time Buck could see that he had shocked her for a second.

“Yep, I’m not as clear with this with what I want but I have some ideas,” Buck told her, as he took a sip of his smoothie.

“I’m listening,” Keria told him.

“Well, I have a list of areas again,” Buck told her about picking up his phone, “The areas are important to me, I don’t want to see anything that isn’t on my list,”.

Keria stopped him and handed him her card, “Email me the list and the one from before,”

Buck nodded and took the card, “This house needs to be perfect. I want it on one level. Avoid stairs if we can. A large garden is a must, a pool would be nice, or the option to add one in later. A minimum of four bedrooms and good sized bathroom, double garage. There isn’t a rush on this one, I want the right property. I’m happy to do work on it. In fact, I like the idea of making it my own. So a fixer-upper would be perfect,”.

“Do you have a price range?” Keria asked, Buck had already typed it on his phone and slid it across the table.

Keria nodded, “Definitely doable, it that fixed or same as the apartment,”

“I’m happy to pay more for the right place,” Buck told her, “Just stick to my list of locations though, other than that, I’m flexible”.

“I can do that. The apartment is the priority though right?” Keira asked.

Buck nodded, “Yes, I’m not sure how much longer I can cope living with roommates who leave wet towels everywhere and eat literally anything in the fridge,”.

Keria laughed, “You are definitely talking about Olly, sounds like he hadn’t changed since high school. Used to drive me crazy,”.

“For sure,” Buck agreed, with a laugh “I just need my own space,”

“Sounds more like you are planning for your future,” Keria told him just as the waitress brought their drinks, “You aren’t looking for small properties,”.

“I’ve always wanted a big family. Just want to make sure there is room for them,” Buck told her, “Think you can find what I’m looking for?”

“For sure,” Keria said confidently, “You know what you want and you have a realistic budget for that. I’m confident I can find exactly what you are looking for. Give me a week and I’ll have some places for you to view,”.

“That’s perfect,” Buck replied.

After his meeting with Keria Buck headed back to the houseshare. He was not working till tomorrow night and had no training so Buck was free. This was the part that Buck hated, the loneliness. He tried to fill his time so he never had to be alone with nothing at all to do. He kept himself busy in order to keep his mind from drifting to his situation. His mind was in a dangerous place lately. It stressed him out that he would never know what happened to him and why he ended up in the past. Buck did his best not to think about it or the people he left behind. He could not go back so he liked to live in denial. Sometimes he could not help but think of them. Buck thought about Christopher who had been doing so well in his first year of college and who had been thriving living in the dorms, making so many new friends. He also thought about his sister and Chim and their kids who had just moved into their new house where each of the three kids had their own room. He thought of Bobby who had just retired the year before and was driving Athena mad with all the free time he now had. He thought of Hen and how she had been thriving as a doctor and raising the two teenagers she and Karen had adopted along with Denny.

The person he did not think of was Eddie. Buck never let himself think about Eddie. Well, that was not true he let him think about Eddie who was alive and still had not met Buck yet. That Eddie Buck thought about all the time. He thought about all the things they would get to do again together. He thought about how they would have a new first meeting, (one where he was not an asshole) and how they would have a new first moving night with Chris, a new first kiss, they would get to move in together again and so much more. Buck thought about their future, he tried not to think about their past.

He tried not to think about Eddie, who he had lost. Eddie died suddenly at a run of the mill house fire. The Eddie he had known for over ten years and loved for almost just as long. The Eddie had been put into the ground and had to say goodbye to. The Eddie he would never see again. Buck did not allow himself to think about him because it hurt too much. The grief was overwhelming and if he let it he knew he would drown in it. He would lay down in bed and never get up again. He had lost his best friend, his partner and he would never get that version of him back.

That Eddie was gone. Buck would never see him again, however, there was an Eddie he would see again. There was an Eddie in his future still. An Eddie, who had just not long moved to LA and was on his first day as a firefighter. Buck would see that Eddie soon.

“Hey, Buck,” Will greeted from his usual spot on the dining room table with books spread out everywhere and at least four empty cups of coffee, “How was the meeting with Olly’s sister?”

Buck grabbed both bottles of water and sat down next to Will. Buck knew that Will would not have drunk anything other than coffee all day.

“It was really good, I think she’ll find me what I’m looking for. She seemed confident, ” Buck said, handing him the water, “Hard to believe she is related to Olly. She’s so put together and sharp. Not like layback Olly at all,”.

“Siblings, Man,” Will shrugged, “I’ve got a sister who got a buzz cut and is living in Romania. Hard to believe we are related sometimes,”.

“I get that, me and my sister are close but very different,” Buck said, knowing it was a lie as currently, Maddie had not spoken to him in three years.

“My grandmother used to say that your siblings are the only people in the world who know what it’s like to have been brought up the way you were,” Will mused, clearly thinking about his own childhood.

Buck nodded in agreement, no one else but Maddie would ever understand what it was like to grow up in the house of Phillip and Margrete Buckley.

“Where did you grow up, Will?” Buck asked, realising he did not know this information about his friend.

“Muncie Indiana,” Will answered with a shrug “Parents owned a farm, the oldest boy with two younger siblings. You’re Pensalanya right?”.

“Hershey,” Buck nodded, “Hated it, don’t like the cold. Could not wait to get out. I was made for hiking and surfing,”.

“I haven’t been hiking in ages,” Will said.

“We should go!” Buck said excitedly, he wanted something to do today and this was perfect, “That would be great. We could go and do the Eagle Rock trail or the Zuma Canyon that has an amazing view of the ocean! We can take my Jeep!”.

“I have to study!” Will protested.

“You study all the time when you aren’t working,” Buck argued, “You need fresh air! Few hours outdoors, some exercise. It will be good for you,”.

“I don’t know,”.

“You are allowed to do things other than study or work, Will,” Buck reminded him.

“Okay!” Will agreed “Let me change and we’ll go in like half an hour,”.

Buck nodded and went and got changed himself. He had been for a couple of hikes on his own since arriving in the past but not with anyone else. He was excited to hike with Will. Afterwards, he packed a backpack with some water bottles, protein bars and a small first aid kit. He made sure his phone was charged and then loaded up the Jeep where Will joined him. Soon the two were off driving to one of Buck’s favourite hiking trails. They chatted and listened to music, which to Buck felt like a throwback station.

Finally, they arrived and began their hike.

“So how’d you end up in LA?” Buck asked, as soon as they began the trail.

“I got into Law school after the airforce and here I am,” Will replied.

“How long were in the air force for?” Buck asked again, really wanting to use this time to try and get to know Will. He was the person he spent the most time as they lived and worked together and yet the man was a closed book.

“Not long at all. I joined at 19 and dishonourably discharged at 23,” Will asked.

“Why were you discharged?” Buck asked and immediately regretted it when he saw Will’s face dropped, “I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer that, tell me to stop if this is none of my business, Will. Seriously, ”.

“It’s fine..Erm…We’re friends. You should know,” Will stuttered walking a little ahead so he did not have to look at Buck as he spoke, “I was home on leave and I got into a bar fight that got completely out of hand and ended up putting a guy in the hospital,”.

“You did!” Buck could not help but interrupted in shock. This was not the Will he knew. The Will he knew was kind and quiet, “I can’t imagine that. It just doesn’t make sense,”.

“I...I wasn’t...I really was not in a good place back then. I was angry all the time and I was drinking more than anyone should,” Will explained, “I was a different person then. I was angry at the world,”.

“How come?” Buck asked as they climbed a rather steep bit of the trail.

“Her name was Jenny,” Will began taking a deep breath, “I’d known her since I was five. Best friends since the first day of school. We were inseparable growing up. She was my first kiss at ten years old. Then when we were teenagers we actually began dating around fifteen. I love her, Buck. I love her so much. She was this wild and beautiful. We grew up in a small town and both knew we wanted to get out and see the world. We had our whole lives planned out, we were gonna drive across America, just up and leave the day the degrees were in our hands. We’d spend our twenties travelling around before we settled somewhere that felt like home. Then we’d get married and have a whole baseball team worth of kids. Buy a house, live our lives. That was our plan,”.

“What happened?” Buck asked softly.

“She went missing just days after she turned eighteen. She had been at a party the next town over and was driving home and just never made it. Her parents called the police the next morning and then her car was found on the side of the road abandoned and there....there were signs of a struggle. There was a search party. We all searched for weeks. The police kept bringing me in for questioning. They...they always look at the boyfriend. It did not help that her parents did not like me. Her family had money and mine... Well, we were farmers. I didn’t have an alibi, I had been out on my own that night...her body was found at the bottom of a river. Her neck snapped,”.

“Will, I’m so sorry,” Buck said, not knowing what to say. He knew there were no words. After Eddie had died people had said similar things over and over again till they had lost all meaning.

“The next six months were hell. Jenny was dead. And the police thought it was me. They weren’t trying to catch her real killer because they thought it was me. I complied with everything they asked but they kept bringing me in. There was no evidence. They never charged me or even named me a suspect and eventually I left. I graduated and joined the airforce and then...well after I got discharged life hit rock bottom,”.

“You turned it around though, I mean you are here, In Law school,” said Buck, they were walking up a steep bit now but once they reached the top the view would be amazing.

“I changed,” Will admitted, “I mean I had to, I couldn’t keep being that person. Jenny would have hated to see what I had become. I didn’t want to travel anymore; that was something we should have done together. So I decided I wanted to help people, I wanted justice for Jenny but also for me. I was targeted by the police and I was lucky that there was not enough evidence to charge but a couple of things and I could be sitting in jail completely innocent. I wanted to help people like that,”.

“I think that amazing,” Buck confessed, thinking about how he wanted to do the same thing, take all the pain he had and use it to build a better future for him and his loved ones, “That you took something bad and changed it into something really good,”

“I would want Jenny to be proud of me, if she is watching me from somewhere I’d want her to be proud,” Will told him, the pair had slowed down with their walk now with how steep it was getting but they were near the top.

“I’m sure she is, Will,” Buck answered kindly, he knew what it was like to lose the love of your life, he could not imagine what it would be like to then be treated as a suspect. He had only had a few days without Eddie before he woke up in the past and those had been enough, “Thank you for telling me,”.

“Thanks for asking, I haven’t spoken about Jenny in a long time but I thought I could tell you because...you lost someone too...didn’t you?” Will confessed and asked.

“What?” Buck asked just as they reached the top, hoping he could just fob Will off.

“You lost someone, that’s why you changed suddenly,” Will told him.

Buck froze, he stopped walking for a minute, “How did you know?”

Will shrugged and stopped as well and turned to face Buck “I can see it, you are trying so hard to keep busy, to not stop because you don’t want to be alone. Sometimes I see it...your brain wonders and you remember and you look...heartbroken...like the whole world has collapsed around you,”.

Buck was speechless, he felt the tears come to his eyes. He had been pushing down his grief for so long now, focusing on the future and not the past.

“Was it recent?” Will asked, standing in front of him and putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder in support.

Buck nodded, as a tear dropped down his left cheek

“I’m sorry,” Will told him and Buck knew that he really meant it, “Who was it?”

“My boyfriend,” Buck answered, surprised at the way his voice cracked.

This time Will nodded, “I am always here if you want to talk about him,”.

“Thank you,” Buck said but he barely made it out before a sob wracked through his body.

Will moved immediately and wrapped his arms around Buck and Buck just broke. All the pain and grief that he had been pushing down finally burst to the surface and broke free. Tears poured down his face and sobs rippled through him as he just cried. Will's arms just held him tighter and Buck allowed himself to feel everything and just let it go.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Will said as he rubbed his back soothingly, “You’re okay, let it out. I got you,”.

Buck did just that and let all the pain out, he allowed himself to feel everything and just let go and embrace all his emotions. Buck cried. He cried for the fact he would never see his Eddie again, the one that had all those shared memories with. He let himself grieve that man who was gone. That Eddie was dead. He also cried for Christopher, the boy who was his kid in everything but law. He cried for that version of Christopher who was gone from his life. He cried for Maddie and Chim and for Hen and Chim. He cried for the whole 118 and for all the family he left behind for the life that had been taken away from him. Even if he had been given this new life, it had still come with the loss of his old one.

Buck cried as he mourned the life that was gone. He let himself feel all the things he had tried so hard not to feel. He just let it all out and then he let it all go.

On top of a hill, Buck cried and let all the pain go.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7 - May

Dear Maddie
Hey Mads, Guess what? I’ve got an estate agent. After many years I'm finally buying my own place. No more renting for me. Soon I'll be a homeowner. I’m looking for an apartment, but I know that long term I’ll want a house. Keria, my estate agent, has shown me a few apartments but none have been right so far. I’m putting down roots and planning to stay in LA. This place is my home. Just need to find my family, my people. I hope you know how much I miss you, hanging out with you. Spending time together. You were my best friend growing up. You raised me. You always have a place with me, Mads. My new place will have a room if you ever decide to visit or need a place to stay?
Wish you were here,
All my love
Evan

Buck dropped off the latest postcard in a mailbox on his way to meet Keria for another lot of viewing. Every day Buck had to stop himself driving to Boston to get Maddie away from Doug. The only thing stopping him was the knowledge that Maddie ended up happy. Maddie would get her happy ending with Chimney and their kids. If Buck went to her now he would be risking all of that. There was no guarantee that she would come with him and even if she did that she would stay with him. Besides Chim was not even single when he first joined that 118, he had dated that girl, Tatianna. Buck briefly wondered if they would still break up if Chim never got into the car accident, before shaking his head, Maddie and Chim would end up together and have beautiful babies together. Buck would not let anything stand in the way of his sister’s happiness.

That did not mean it was not hard though. To sit and wait. That's what Buck’s whole life felt like. Waiting for his life to begin, just like Rapunzel from Tangled. God, Buck missed Christopher.

SNAP OUT OF IT BUCKLEY

Buck had to keep doing that. Not dwelling on what he did not have. It was coming. He just needed to wait and prepare in whatever way he could.

Today that meant viewing apartments with Keria. He was meeting her in Westwood to view the first property and he was excited. He was ready to move out of the loft and into an actual place. He had never actually owned anywhere before. He had rented out the loft and then he had moved into Eddie’s house with him and Chris. Buck was excited to hunt for a place he could call his own. He also thought it might make the 118 see him more as an adult when he started rather than the kid he had been the first time around.

Buck drove up in a nice area in front of a red brick building and saw Keria waiting by her car furiously typing away on her phone. Buck parked a little further up and across the street and made his way over to her.

“Buck!” Keria greeted him, she looked amazing just as before, this time she was in an olive green dress that looked like it was made for her, “Ready to see the home of your dreams,”.

“Overselling much,” Buck said as he walked up and greeted her with a friendly hug, “Glad to see a place in one of my selected areas,”.

Keria sighed, “As I’ve said, that place was on the border and it’s an up and coming area, would have been a great investment,”.

Buck resisted rolling his area, he knew the area that she had shown him would not be a good investment as he would basically be destroyed in the 2025 earthquake.

“I’ve got a good feeling about this place, but don’t worry there is plenty to see today so I’m let’s say...optimistic,” Keria promised, her excitement infectious. This is properly why she was such a successful estate agent.

“Let’s go then,” Buck said as Keria led them inside through a door that needed a code and a key, the property only had 3 floors, but high ceilings so it was still tall.

“We are on the top floor, but there is an elevator at the back that you need a key to operate,” Keria said as she led him inside, “Only residents have keys so it’s perfectly safe, plus there is another door you need a key to after this one,”.

As they made it up to the top floor Keria told him about the building security and how it was all up to code.

“The area is nice, Rancho Park Golf course is right behind us, Also Cheviot Park and the new Westfield Mall are both within walking distance,” Keria carried on as she unlocked another door with a swipe card before they got to the front door, she opened it and then moved out the way, “You first,”

Buck nodded and walked in. The whole room was open plan. On his left-hand side, he could see a large living space with a large black panelled window that let in a lot of natural light. On his right was a large dark wood dining room table that could easily fit the whole firefam around it, further past the dining area was what looked to be a very modern kitchen. The thing that Buck could not get over was the spiral staircase in front of him. Chris would struggle on that for sure and Eddie would have a heart attack every time Chris said he could do it on his own and if Buck was honest so would he.

“Beautiful right?” Keria asked dropping right into saleswomen, “There are two-bedroom on this floor as well as their own bathrooms and then upstairs is the master bedroom and bathroom,”

Buck nodded as he spotted a door and a corridor that ran along the back wall. He moved further into the space looking around and moving closer towards the kitchen. It was all white with modern and top of the line appliances, there was even a wine fridge. There was a window on the far end wall that went all along with the space above the cabinet making everything look bright and white and clean.

“Everything is top of the line and not even two years old. The kitchen and all three bathrooms have been done in the last eighteen months. A lot of the stuff is still under warranty and all appliances are included,” Keria explained.

Buck nodded not really knowing what to say, “It’s a beautiful kitchen,”.

“Do you cook?” Keria asked.

“I do,” Buck said confidently, over ten years of lessons with Bobby had turned him into a damn fine home cook who could handle even the most complicated of dishes.

“I’ll file that information away, clearly you are a sucker for a kitchen,” Keria told him.

Buck smiled guilty as charged, he did love a kitchen. Eddie’s had been falling apart when he moved in and there had always been other things that needed money over the kitchen so everything had gotten replaced over the years as and when it broke. Buck had a nice kitchen in the loft but it was more of a show kitchen than an actual practical kitchen. The oven had been tiny and the cabinet high and a lot of them unreachable without a ladder even for Buck.

Keria showed him the two downstairs bedrooms which both had a lot of natural light and windows that took up a whole wall. The bathrooms were modern and stylish. Grey titles that Buck knew would only get more popular in upcoming years. Buck thought about the people who would most likely be staying in his spare rooms, Maddie and Chirs. They would be the ones sleeping in these rooms and they would suit them nicely. Give them their own space. Buck did worry about being a floor apart from them in case anything happened though.

“Let’s see the master bedroom,” Keria said as she led up the spiral staircase that led on a small hallway, “The great thing about this is the high ceilings,”.

Buck walked in and saw a massive sized bedroom. The space felt big. Too big. It was not warm and cosy. It felt big and cold. Lots of empty space he would never be able to fill. Buck did not say that though and instead showed interest and he was shown the bathroom and the walk-in wardrobe.

The two made their way downstairs and Keria let Buck wander around on his own before he came to join her lending against the counter in the kitchen. Buck wondered if she had chosen the kitchen because it was clearly the space he liked the most.

“What did we think?” Keira asked.

“It’s nice,” Buck stated, giving nothing away.

“But?” Keria asked the second he said nice.

“Not for me,” Buck said, looking around the space once at me.

“How come? Be honest, if you aren’t honest with what’s wrong, I can’t factor that into what I will show you next,” Keria told him.

“I don’t like the staircase, the second level doesn’t work for me at all. It’s too open and exposed, space I wouldn’t know how to fill. I want something more personal and I know the park is down the road but I would like some kind of outdoor space,” Buck listed.

Keria listened and nodded, Buck could all but see the clogs in her brain ticking away, “Okay then. Let’s move on and see the next one!”.

The next property was in an actual doggy part of town with a high crime rate, but Buck knew that in a few years it would be one of the most sought after places to live. Google would eventually open up a new office building within just a few blocks and from there this whole area would grow. Restaurants, shops and bars would all start opening. In a bid to be more environmentally friendly Google would donate a large amount of money to building a new park right in the centre that used solar panelling in the pathways to create the power needed to run all the street lights in the areas. Buck knew that buying in his area would be a very smart investment.

Keria had found somewhere that was just on the edge of the area, it was just in the catchment area. She had clearly found the nicest place for sale in this whole area judging it from the outside alone. Buck was sure this was not the place for him, just as they walked down the path that led to the apartment. It was on a nice quiet suburban street and the place had been clearly renovated recently. The front was a white stonework but the doorway was all black lined glass. He could already see the living space pretty clearly, you would not be able to see it from the sidewalk but a couple of paces onto the property and you could see inside.

“So this is a set up of ten apartments, and one of the cool features is they all have their own private entrances,” Keria told him, “This is an older property that has had a complete renovation and been modernized through-out,”

Keria opened the door and once again let Buck walk in first. The was a big square room with three different sections, the first was a large dining area right in front of him, over on his left with a beautifully laid out living space. At the back, there was a beautifully designed white kitchen with an incredibly large breakfast bar. In the back corner was another staircase, this one was more traditional than the last, but it was still stairs.

“Can I see upstairs please?” Buck asked.

Keria nodded leading Buck towards the staircase, “Course, there are three bedrooms upstairs all with their own bathrooms,”.

Buck climbed the stairs and quickly looked at the bedrooms, they were all similar-sized, with decent sized wardrobes and bathrooms that looked brand new. They were decorated plainly and the main feature was the large windows they each had.

“One more thing to show you,” Keria told him before leading up to a balcony that had another staircase. They walked out on a roof terrace. Now, this was beautiful. There were sun lounges and a seating area with a fire pit in the middle, it was a great space. Over in each of the far corners with a hot top and a bar. Buck could not help but love the space. It was amazing. The walls were high so they would have privacy up here, but you could still see the view of the LA skyline. Sunset would be amazing out here. Buck could see himself relaxing out here after a long shift. Sunbathing on his days off. Having the 118 round and showing off his bartending skills. Late night with him and Eddie in the hot tub.

“It’s pretty amazing,” Keria said with a smile, “I wasn’t going to show you this place. Didn’t see the right fit for you, but this kind of sized outdoor space with an apartment in LA is unheard of,”.

“It really is!” Buck agreed, not taking his eyes off the space, “It’s incredible,”.

“Enough to sell you on the place?” Keria inquired.

“I don’t know,” Buck said honestly, “Before this, it would have been a firm no, but this space…”

“I know!” Keria said with a winning smile.

Buck thought for a minute about what was below him, “No, it’s too exposed, I love it up here. You have privacy up here but not in the downstairs living area. I wouldn’t feel comfortable ever,”.

In reality, it was more Maddie’s comfort he was thinking about. There is no way she would want to stay here after she left Doug. The windows were too exposed. He could imagine her here on her own always thinking he was outside, watching her.

“Nope, not that place for me. Also, can we see somewhere all on one level, no stairs whatsoever?,” Buck requested.

Keria smiled, if she was getting frustrated with him she did not show it, “I have just the place,”

Property number three was in an area that Buck knew one day would be one of the most sought after areas for the young. Currently, this area was run down with a lot of empty business, but give it another ten years and the youth would invade the space. It would become the centre of youth culture with a large percentage of the recent college graduates moving here and setting up shop. Buck knew how sought after property would become around her, May herself had ended up buying a place not far from where they were currently. He remembered him and Eddie coming out here for date night once, only to immediately feel ancient compared to all the people around them.

Keria and he were standing outside a large building, the apartment they were viewing was on the seventh floor the highest of today. This place was the oldest they had seen, built in the sixties. It had a doorman which Buck liked. Keria told him a little bit about the history of the place on the way up.

“So there are four apartments on each floor, two on each side,” Keria said as they walked down the corridor to the end of the hall, she then used a key to open a door. Buck stepped inside and instantly liked the place. It was open plan, a living room in front of him, with what looked to be a whole glass wall and then doors at the end that lead out onto an outside patio. Though there were no walls separating the areas there were support beams that helped make the space feel more separate, which was something Buck wanted. He walked around the support beam and into the space that he would have a dining room table, there was another beam and then he came through to the kitchen, which was a beautiful dark wood counter paired with lighter countertops. The kitchen was old but looked like it had been well looked after, Buck could see himself cooking here.

Keria joined him in the kitchen, “You are a sucker for the kitchen,”.

“This is amazing, that oven is amazing,” Buck gushed, “It looks so old,”.

“What do you think of the space?” Keria asked.

“It’s great! Got all the natural light but still feels livable, not too big. I can fill this space,” Buck told her, already picturing it in his head. He would have to go furniture shopping.

“This place actually has four bedrooms, two on each side. However the owner currently uses one as a wardrobe as it is slightly smaller than the rest,” Keria explained, leading him out of the kitchen and back into the main living space, “There is an outdoor patio outside the living area, and also a smaller one-off one of the bedrooms. I’m gonna save the main patio till last if that’s okay,”.

They went left and to the side furthest from the front door where they had two bedrooms. The first one was basic, with a nice big window, big closet. The second had a door that led to the outside patio rather than the window. It was to the side of the property so did not have much of a view, but was not overlooked and would get the sun most of the day. In the second bedroom Buck kept thinking about Maddie, she would love to be able to wake up and open the doors and be outside. He could get her a chair that she could sit on and drink her morning coffee.

“So the other bedroom is on the other side of the apartment and is the master,” Keria said as they walked back through the kitchen, just as they walked in there had been a door that Buck had not released lead to a short corridor with three doors, the first was a small laundry room that also a really big closet for storage in. The second was the room that would have been the fourth bedroom but instead had been turned into a walk-in wardrobe, which Buck couldn’t help thinking he would never own enough clothes to fit even a quarter of it. Even all of his and Eddie’s clothes would not even be half makeup. Maybe he could turn it into a home gym?

“Let me show you the master,” Keria said, as they went into the rooms across the hall. The master was for sure the biggest. It was a long rectangle and had more space than any of the other bedrooms they had seen today. The major selling point of the room is the window at the far end. In line with the living room glass wall, it takes up the whole back wall with its view of LA.

“Amazing right, the sunsets that way as well,” Keria told him, “Let’s go and see it from the patio,”

The duo walked through the main space and out onto the patio, it was not particularly wide but it was long, it was a good space. The view was incredible stretching all out over LA.

“So this place,” Keria asked.

“It’s amazing!” Buck told her, “I love it. Honestly the space is perfect. I love the layout of the place. It feels like home. I want it. Let's talk about money,”.

Keria smiled, confident that she had done her job well.

Buck had put in an offer for the apartment and now he was just waiting to hear back. He hoped he got it as he was ready to move out. Keria said she would phone him with an update as soon as she had one and till then there was nothing to do but wait. He hated waiting and lately that all his life seemed to be. Waiting for his training to finish so he could finally be a firefighter again and be reunited with his family.

Buck was behind the Bar as Patty’s, he was waiting for Will to finish his evening class and come and relieve Buck so he could go home and finally sleep. He had been training all morning and then been called into work to cover a shift. His muscles were sore and he just wanted to go home and pass out. It was a slow night but luckily two familiar faces were in the bar.

Athena and Michael Grant were clearly on a very tense and awkward date in his bar.

They had arrived around thirty minutes ago and Michael had ordered the drink while Athena grabbed them a table. Buck had served him, still finding it bizarre to talk to people he had known for years and called family and to have them look back at him as a stranger. Michael had been polite but on his phone, while Buck had made the drinks and had shut down Buck's attempt to make conversation.

Buck knew this was the last year of their marriage and within the next year, both would be seeing other people and happier for it. Buck had always admired their ability to stay friends after their divorce and how they always came together to parent their children and be there for them. However, looking over at this version of Athena and Michael he was not sure how that would come to be. Even from across the room Buck could see the tension and the space between them. This was very clearly not a married couple in love but a couple who had not been on the same page in quite some time.

Buck did not know the details of the divorce, only that Michael had come out and then the divorce had followed which was to be expected. It was weird looking at it from an outsider's point of view, knowing how their lives would go on from this point. How they would both move on and find love again and end up in amazing relationships with equally amazing people. Looking at it now Buck was not sure how they got to that place. It had gone from tense to hostile very quickly and now they looked like they were having an argument but trying not to make a scene.

Will arrived and waved to Buck as he dropped off his stuff and took off his jacket.

Buck watched as Michael suddenly stood up and stormed out of the bar.

“Hey, you okay?” Will asked as he joined Buck behind the bar.

“Yeah, my friends over there and just got into a fight with her husband,” Buck told him, not taking his eyes off Athena.

“Well your shift is done if you wanna go over,” Will suggested.

Buck nodded, grabbing a beer for himself and another wine for Athena, “Thanks Will. Think I’ll go and make sure she is okay,”.

Buck walked over, worried about how this would go, he hoped he was not overstepping or risking saying something he should not know.

“Hi, Sargent Grant,” Buck greeted with an awkward little wave that was hard to do while holding both drinks, “I don’t know if you remember me...I’m Evan Buckley we met the other day and then you came by the…”

“Yes, I remember,” Athena said and Buck could have sworn he saw her blink back tears, “What are you doing here?”

“I work here, just finished a shift actually,” Buck told her, “Here,”.

Buck put down the glass of wine in front of her, “Thought you might need this,”.

“Thank you,” Athena said, wondering who this guy was and why he was here.

“Listen, I know we don’t really know each other, but you look like you could use a friend and maybe a chat?” Buck offered, “No pressure, I can go and drink my beer at the bar before I head home but if you do need someone to listen I’m happy to,”.

Buck could see Athena’s first instinct was to reject his offer and to tell him she was fine, but it must have been a bad night and she must really need a friend, “Sit down,”.

Buck did as he was told, sitting down in the seat that Michael had just left.

“Was that your husband?” Buck asked, knowing he had to ease her into this conversation.

“It was. That was Michael,” Athena confirmed while taking a drink of her wine.

“And you two had a fight?” Buck asked again.

“It seems it’s all we do these days,” Athena confessed, “It did always used to be this way, in fact we never used to fight. Lately it’s like we are so far off the same page that we are reading different books...We just keep butting heads...like neither of us are capable of saying the right thing,”.

“That must be hard,” Buck said sympathetically.

“It is,” Athena agreed, “We try to put on a good show...for the kids...but I’m not sure we are fooling them,”.

“Have you thought about talking to someone?” Buck suggested.

“We are in counselling,” Athena told him, “That the reason we are here, stupid homework on going on a date...only you can see how well that ended,”.

“I’m sorry he left,” Buck told her.

“It’s okay. I pushed...I think...he’s hiding something from me. Something has changed in the past few months and he is clearly hiding something from me,” Athena explained, “I think he might be cheating on me,”.

Buck's eyes widened at the confession. Was that true? Buck wracked his brain trying to think if he had ever been told the details surrounding Athena and Michael’s divorce. If May had ever talked about it. He was sure no one ever mentioned an affair.

“What makes you think that?” Buck asked.

“The normal signs,” Athena sighed, “Working late, he’s bought new clothes and every now and then he comes in and I can smell different Cologne,”.

“Ah,” Buck responded, not sure what to say.

“Yeah, I’m also a damn fine cop,” Athena bosted, “I can see that my husband is acting differently and I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s seeing another woman,”.

Buck nearly choked on his beer. This was a bad idea. He never should have come over, there is no way he was going to get through this conversation without slipping up and saying something he should not.

“It might not be that,” Buck tried to reason, “Did you ask him that tonight? Is that why he left?”

“No, he left because I was pushing, I always push. I need to know everything and I know there is something he isn’t telling me,” Athena told him.

“Maybe you have to wait for him to be ready for him to come to you,” Buck suggested, “Or try a softer approach. My old boyfriend was not the best at emotions, partially when we first met, he had grown up in a rather old fashioned way where men don’t talk about their feelings. It took time for him to change and learn how to open up and talk. I had to learn when to push him to talk about something and when to take a step back and let him come to me. Sometimes you just have to remind them that you care and you are there to listen and to help if you can,”.

“That’s rather smart advice,” Athena told him, as she drank the last of her wine, “I guess I should get a cab home,”.

“I can drop you,” Buck offered.

“Thanks, but I barely know you, I'm not about to get into a car with you,” Athena told him and it broke Buck’s heart to remember that Athena did not trust him yet because she did not know him, “Thank you for the drink and the chat...It helped…”.

“Anytime you fancy a drink and a chat with a friend...you know where to find me,”.

“Thank you,” Athena said again before grabbing her jacket and leaving the bar.

Buck watched her leave, he hoped she would be okay. He knew long term she would be. That she and Michael would talk and eventually she would end up married to one of the best men Buck had ever met. He just wished he knew if she would be okay now.

Buck’s offer on the apartment had still not been accepted and it had been over another week now. He was going crazy. He just wanted to move forward with his life. Athena had not been back in the bar since that night and Buck hoped she was okay. He wanted to do more but just did not know what. He had driven past the house a couple of times but not seen anything and was too worried about Athena catching up and thinking he was some kind of stalker and getting him arrested.

He had managed to get a copy of the blueprints for the apartment and was currently in Will’s normal study spot on the dining room table with paper spread out in front of him.

Dan walked in, “Hey Will...not Will...Buck...studying for the firefighter exam? Thought that was after summer?”

“It is,” Buck confirmed and slightly touched at the fact that Dan remembered when his exams were, “Olly’s sister, Keria, she found me this amazing apartment and I've put in an offer only I’ve not heard back and I’m kinda freaking out with all the waiting,”.

“So the papers?” Dan prompted, taking a seat next to Buck.

“Blueprints of the place,” Buck answered, “Reports on the building,”.

Dan picked up a blueprint and looked at it for a minute before suggesting, “I’d knock down this wall here to make the bathroom bigger,”.

“It’s that a supporting wall?” Buck asked.

“No, they always mark supporting walls,” Dan answered, pointing out one, “Like this one here. If you knock down that wall and move it back you get almost double the bathroom space and only lose a little of the bedroom space, in fact, the makes the layout of the bedroom better because nothing is blocking the door,”

Dan put down the blueprint in front of Buck and pointed out what he had just said.

“That’s...perfect…” Buck stuttered, “The size of the bathroom had been bothering me,”.

He had been worried that the guest bathroom was just too small to make accessible for Chris but with that extra space, it would be perfect.

“Yeah, older buildings sometimes have smaller bathrooms,” Dan offered.

“You know a lot about this?” Buck asked.

“It’s the family business,” Dan joked, “Right off to work, lately Buckley,”.

“Later Murray!” Buck called after him, going back to studying the prints.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8 - June

June started off with bad news. Unfortunately, he had been outbid for the apartment. Buck was crushed. He had been so ready to move out and have his own space. He hated living with so many people. They were not bad people by any means. In fact, Will had become a really good friend and Buck could not help but think how well Will and Eddie would get along once they met. Buck liked Dan and Olly, he knew they were good people, they just felt so young to Buck, they were a reminder of Buck 1.0. Buck knew he had grown up and changed over the years but suddenly being in the past was a stark reminder of just how much he had changed.

It was not that Buck wanted to live alone. That was not the case at all. There were two people he wanted to live with more than anything else. Unfortunately, they were currently in Texas with no idea who he was. If Buck could not live with them he did not want to live with anyone.

Buck had been ready for his own place.

Keira had promised to find him something just as amazing as the lost apartment but they had now seen another fourteen apartments and so far Buck had rejected all of them. Buck knew that Keira would be getting frustrated with him. She had tried to show him a few places in an area that was not on his list. These had been perfect properties. Just what he was looking for. The only issue was they were close to the pier. Keira did not understand why Buck had rejected them purely based on that fact. Buck knew it seemed irrational to her and to her, it just seemed like Buck was rejecting perfectly good apartments because they weren’t in the right location. Still she was still on the case and promised to have something for him to view by the end of the week.

Buck tried to have faith the right place would come along, but he was getting impatient. In the meantime he was burning the candles at both ends, working as many shifts as Marco would let him and Patty’s and working hard at his training. Buck was determined to beat his original scores, and the scores he’d gotten after his leg had been crushed. Setting his own personal challenge had spurred him in his training, it had given him a challenge and something to aim at. For Buck September could not come fast enough, he felt ready to take the exam now and was confident he would pass. The only problem with that was then he might not be assigned to the 118 and he was not willing to risk that. Joining the 118 was the goal, after that everything would fall into place.

Till then he would keep working, keep planning for the future. Buck just wanted to be back with his family and for him, it was all leading up to one thing, one day. Every time Buck felt low or hopeless, he thought of one day, in particular, that was coming. The day was nothing overly special, nothing over different from other days he had lived through. The day involved the whole team, everyone all together at Bobby and Athena’s. The weather had been perfect. The kids had been in the pool. The food had been delicious and the drinks had been cold. Buck had spent the day with Eddie by his side and everyone he loved insight. Everyone was happy. There was no stress. It was pure happiness. The best day.

That was the day that Buck thought of. The day that kept him going.

Today was not that day. Today had been a training day and now Buck was working a shift at the bar. It was a Tuesday night and not that busy. There was a group of women who came in every week, there were nine of them and they all told their partners they were at a Book Club when in reality they all met here and drank several bottles of white wine. Buck liked them, they were low maintenance, tipped well and occasionally Buck got to hear a funny story about their kids. Buck was keeping an eye on a couple in their thirties who were clearly on a first date. They had come up to the bar together and had an adorable interaction where they had both tried to pay for the drinks and Buck had ended up just giving it to them on-the-house and told them to enjoy their date. He had been keeping an eye on them since and they had been slowly moving closer together as they got more comfortable together.

It made Buck think of his first date with Eddie. It had taken them an embarrassingly long time to get to that point. By the time they had gone out on a date they had known each other for close to ten years and both been hopelessly in love with each other. They had already had their first kiss and if they were honest their tenth kiss as well. They had also been co-parenting a fifteen-year-old kid, who had rolled his eyes when he walked in on them kissing in the kitchen and told them it was about time. Chris had been happy at Buck dating his Dad, the trio had basically been a family for years and making it official had only made them stronger and happier.

Their first date had been similar, nothing overly flashy. They had already known everything about each other and yet they had both been nervous. It had taken them half an hour of sitting in a fancy restaurant and trying to make awkward small talk before Buck had acted. He had paid the bill and he and Eddie had left and got to their favourite burger place where they had been a lot more comfortable. The date had ended with them going back to Eddie’s and playing video games with Chris. Buck had spent the night and then the next morning he had made pancakes.

That had been the start of a new era for them. It had been the happiest time in Buck’s life. It still bothered him that they had never made it their two year anniversary. When Buck looked back on their time together he felt regret for all the time they had wasted. He loved the time they had together but wished they had more. Eddie’s death had taken away their future and now Buck was back in the past he thought of the ten years they had just been friends. Eddie’s friendship had meant everything to him but Buck did not know if he would be able to do it this time around. He did not know if he could go back to just being his friend after being so much more than that. After being Eddie Diaz’s boyfriend, going back to being his friend would be hard. However, there was not anything Buck would not do for Eddie and Chris.

“Buck!” his name was being cried and Buck was jarred out of his thoughts and back into reality. He was back behind the bar and Marco was standing in front of him with a look of concern on his face.

“Sorry, Marco,” Buck apologised, “I was miles away,”.

“That’s okay, kid,” Marco told him, “Was just checking on you. Are you getting enough sleep?”

Buck smiled at Marco, it was nice to have someone worry about him. Marco was always asking those kinds of questions if he had eaten, had gotten enough sleep. The older man was always checking in on Buck, “I’m okay, Marco. I promise,”.

Marco nodded and sat down on the stool. Buck immediately went to grab his normal drink of Whisky, “Good, how’s the apartment search going?”

“Still nothing,” Buck said as he was pouting the generous double into a class, “Keria is trying but nothing is as nice as the apartment I lost,”

Marco smiled, “You need to let that apartment go. You’ll never find anything if you are still thinking about the one you lost,”

Buck nodded as he set the drink in front of Marco, “You’re right, I know you are right. I just want a home,”

“It’s not bricks that make a home, it’s the people you share it with,” Marco told him.

Buck knew he was right. Nothing would ever be as perfect without Eddie and Chris there. He was going to be living in his new place alone. He would not be sharing with anyone for a while, till Maddie turned up. Maybe he should consider bringing Will with him. The pair got on well and Will was easy to live with, plus he knew Will wanted to move out as well. It was something to think about.

“You’re right, Marco,” Buck agreed.

“Hey Dad” Buck snapped over to the sound of the voice. There was a black woman standing just behind Marco. Buck's first impression was she was beautiful. She had long braided hair that went down to her waist but had been tied back so that it was out of her face. Her eyes were dark and there was a sharpness to them. Buck got the impression this was someone you did not want to mess with

“Jesse!” Marco exclaimed, jumping down from the stool and moving to hug the girl who was standing just behind him, “I was not expecting you tonight! What a surprise!”

“I just got off a long and hard shift,” Jesse explained, “I needed a drink and there is no better place in all of LA”

“Come sit down” Marco fussed over her as he got her to sit down, “Have you eaten? You shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach,”

“I ate,” Jesse confirmed, “New Bartender?”

“Yes. This is Buck! He’s a friend of Will’s,” Marco introduced, “Meet my daughter, Buck. Dr Jessica Hadly!”

Buck held out his hand and Jesse shook it, “Nice to meet you, Buck. Please call me Jesse and ignore my Dad he always introduces me like that,”.

“My daughter is a doctor. I’m proud. Sue me,” Marco said as he sat back at his stool.

“Very nice to meet you, Jesse,” Buck smiled, “What can I get you to drink?”

“Large glass of red” Jesse ordered with a soft smile that instantly made Buck like her.

“The Malbec, not the house,” Marco added, Buck nodded at his boss and got to work on the drink.

Jesse smiled fondly at her father.

“I’m so glad you stopped by,” Marco told her, “How’s work?”

“Work is good, Dad. Hard but that's just how it is, long shift today,” Jesse said, “The ER was packed from that pile up this morning,”.

Buck placed the wine in front of her and Jesse smiled in thanks before taking a sip.

“Which hospital are you at?” Buck asked, he and his team had spent too much time in various different hospitals in the future he wondered if their paths may have crossed.

“Cedars-Sinai, I’m the ER Attending. I’ve been there about three years now,” Jesse told him.

“She graduated top of her class, Buck,” Marco exclaimed proudly, causing Jesse to groan and mumbled an embarrassed plea for her father to stop.

Buck smiled, it reminded him of Chris and how he would beg Buck to stop boasting about him. Buck never would though, he had been super proud of the man Chris was growing up to be and was determined that Chris would never doubt that Buck was proud of him. There were numerous times Eddie would tell someone in their family of one of Chris' achievements only to find out Buck had beaten him to it. Eddie never seemed to mind, in fact, Eddie loved how proud Buck was of Chris. Eddie had confessed after they had gotten together that it was one of the things that had made him fall in love with Buck. That seeing Buck love Chris so naturally and already acting like a proud parent to the young boy had only made Eddie’s feelings towards Buck stronger.

“Really?” Buck gasped enthusiastically, “That’s amazing! Marco, you must be so proud! Where did you go to school?”

“Stanford,” Jesse answered humbly as if it was not one of the best Med schools in the country.

“I was over the moon when she got her acceptance letter and told me she was going to Stanford,” Marco told Buck, grinning widely.

“I think that was more because up until that point all my other schools were on the other side of the country,” Jesse added, “Stanford was in the same state”.

“I would have been equally proud and supported you if you had gone to John Hopkins,” Marco told her, “But you can’t blame a father for not wanting his little girl thousands of miles away,”

Jesse smiled at her Dad. Truth be told, it had been a rather large reason she had picked Stanford. She had not wanted to move halfway across the country and be far away from the only family she had. Growing up, after the death of her mother, it had been her Dad and her against the world. They were a team. Jesse knew how hard he worked and how many sacrifices he had made to raise her properly. The thing she loved most about her Dad was that he always had time for her, nothing was ever an inconvenience for him. He had always been there, he had stayed up all night with her Studying for the SATS, he had driven her across the country for interviews at colleges, he had worked countless late nights at the bar but always been up early to make her breakfast and drive her to school.

“I know, Dad,” Jesse smiled, “So Buck tell me about yourself?”

“Buck’s Training to be a firefighter!” Marco said, in the same tone he had just talked about his daughter in.

“I am hoping to take the exam in September and begin in October,” Buck added.

“What made you want to be a firefighter?” Jesse asked.

Buck paused at this, he knew the answer. It was his calling. His purpose. What he was meant to be. Being a firefighter leads to everything. It led him to his family. Buck tried to remember what had made him join the first time around. It was so long ago, it was hard to remember. Back then he had been a whole other version of himself. Buck 1.0 he had called himself. Buck wondered what version he was now. He wondered if there was even anything left of that version of himself.

“I’m not sure. I guess I’m looking for where I belong and I think firefighting is a part of finding that out,” Buck answered.

Jesse raised an eyebrow, “oh Jeez, you believe in fate, don’t you? You are one of these people who believe everything happens for a reason, and that we will end up where we need to be,”

Buck laughed. If someone asked him that question a year ago he wouldn’t have thought any more of it. However, after waking up 10 years in the past that tends to change your view on fate, “The universe works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it gives you exactly what you need,”.

“You believe in miracles don’t you?” Jesse asked sceptically with a groan.

“I do,” Buck agreed, “but to be fair, I didn’t always believe in miracles, till I got my own,”.

Jesse stared at him. It was like She was trying to read his mind. Buck wondered if she would ask him what his miracle was. If was going to, she never got the chance.

“Children are the greatest miracle of all,” Marco added.

“You work in a hospital, you have seen something there was no medical explanation for?” Buck asked Jesse.

“I work in the ER I see stupid people and the consequences of the stupid actions,” said Jesse bluntly.

Buck laughed at that, So many memories and stories he could tell flooded Buck’s mind, but he could not tell any of them, “Okay, that’s fair enough. I’m sure I’ll see my fair of consequences from the dumb stuff people do when I’m a firefighter,”.

“Oh, you will for sure,” Jesse told him.

The next day was a rare full day off for Buck. He had no training today or a shift at the bar. He had tried to pick up an extra shift but Marco had told him in a not too polite way that was never going to happen. Marco had ordered him to go off and have fun and be young. The only problem was Buck had no idea how to do that. He did not feel young and he did not know what he would do to have fun. Fun for him meant spending time with Eddie and Chris. Without them, he had no idea what to do to have fun. He could not remember the last time he had spent a day off alone. Even if he could not spend it with Eddie and Chris, he would then go and spend it with his sister and his niece and nephews or with Bobby and the Nash family or going hiking with Albert. The point was he never spent it alone, not a really long time.

Now he had a whole day off with nothing to do and he was bored. Since his arrival back in the past, he had lived with the mentality to make every second count. Buck had no idea what the reason was that he had woken up in the past If there even was one. He had wondered if there was some kind of mission he had been sent back for. One event that he was here to change. A life he was meant to save. A bad event that he was meant to stop. Unluckily for Buck, there were several lives he had failed to save, the first being Deven, the young man who had fallen from the roller coaster and the last being the love of his life, Eddie. As for bad events there had too many to count, it seemed there was at least one tragedy for years. There had been a fair share of bad things that Buck would have no way of stopping like Michael getting cancer. Certain events he would have no control over.

There were so many things he could do, so many people he could save. So many bad things had happened to the ones he loved. Buck could stop them.

Buck did not think that was the reason he had been sent back though. Buck believed that his wish had come true. The last thing Buck had remembered thinking was that he wished he had gotten more time. Buck believed his wish had come true. Buck had gotten time. All the time that he and Eddie had wasted. Buck had time now.

Currently, Buck did not know what to do with that time. He had a whole day off with nothing to do.

“Hey, Bucko” Olly greeted, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle, “How’s it going?”

“Morning Olly,” Buck smiled over his coffee, he liked Olly. He was young and reminded Buck of himself when he was young. Olly was full of enthusiasm and excitement for life. He was always positive. He also often acted without thinking and got himself in stupid situations.

“You got training?” Olly asked, routing the fridge for something to eat, “Why is there nothing to eat in here?”

“Nope, a day off from training,” Buck said standing up and looking in the fridge “Sit down, I’ll make you an omelette, anything you don’t like?”

Olly shook his head, “You can cook?”

“I can cook,” Buck said, getting his ingredients out and heating up a pan, “Do you mind some chillies?”

“I can do some spice” Olly nodded, “You got a shift in the bar?”

“Nope,” Buck answered, mixing some eggs, “I am a free man,”

“Me and Dan and a couple of guys, are heading down the beach, gonna go surfing,” Olly told him, “You should come. Meant to be a beautiful day,”

“The beach,” Buck thought, as he chopped some food. “You don’t mind if I join?”

“Course not!” Olly raved enthusiastically, “You haven’t hung out with us in forever,”

“Is Buck joining us?” Dan asked as he walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Olly.

“He is!” Olly exclaimed, “We are going to have the best day ever!”

“How’s the bar?” Buck asked as he added everything to a couple of hot pans.

“Fuck off, Buckley,” Dan responded, there was no real heat behind his words, “Just because you got out of that place. I’m honestly thinking of going back to being a mechanic or hell maybe even construction”.

Buck had known Dan was an expert at fixing cars, as he had fixed the jeep when Buck had first arrived back in LA. The drive from south America had nearly killed her and it was Dan that had saved her and also saved Buck a boatload of money, “I didn’t know you worked construction,”

“Growing up in England, my dad owned a construction company, my two brothers and I worked there growing up. They run it now together after Dad retired with Mum to the lake district,” Dan explained, “I’ve thought about setting up my own business and would need to start-up money though,”.

“What kind of construction?” Buck asked as he added some seasoning to the pan, before giving it a flip.

“Residential mostly, specialised restoration,” Dan answered, “You see back home, we have actual proper old buildings built hundreds of years ago. You don’t get the same kind of history with buildings in America,”.

“Why didn’t you join the family business?” Buck asked, curious about Dan’s history.

“Wanted to travel,” Dan answered with a shrug, “Get out of the UK, ending up settling down here, did a few construction jobs, easy enough work to find, did some work on cars. Fixing stuff has always been easy for me. Just how my brain works, I guess, I can look at something broken and just know that I can find a way to repair it. It’s much more rewarding work than serving drinks,”

“Hey!” Olly interrupted, “Some of us like pouring drinks! And are very good at it! Plus find me another job that makes as much in tips. I dare you! Bet you can’t!”

“Stripping,” Dan answered without missing a beat.

Olly swore, “Well apart from that…”

“Food’s ready,” Buck answered, putting a plate down in front of each of them.

Olly immediately drug into his whereas Dan looked surprised for a moment having not to ask Buck to make him food, before shrugging and also taking a bite,

“Oh...My God,” Olly moaned as he shoved another mouthful into his mouth.

“Oh Wow,” Dan echoed after his first bite.

“Buck, this is amazing!” Olly added, actually shocked by how good the food was.

“Buckley! You’ve been holding out on us!” Dan said, taking another bite.

“Maybe, I just didn’t want to be stuck cooking for you every night,” Buck pointed out.

Within a few minutes, the duo had empty plates and full bellies. Buck felt an element of pride at how much they had enjoyed his food. He had not cooked for anyone since his journey to the past. Cooking for people had been a large part of his old life. Eddie had been a well known terrible cook which meant that he had been the cook in the Buckley/Diaz house with Chris as his assistant. Buck had loved cooking for them, it had given him a sense of satisfaction to cook for them, to take care of them in that way.

Plus Bobby and Eddie’s Abuela had taught him everything he knew and cooking lessons with them were some of his favourite memories. They were very different cooks and teachers. Bobby was recipes with accurate instructions that you stuck to like they were the law. Bobby would show you, make you watch him clearly. He was meticulous and everything was planned out and looked perfect. Bobby was also fancy. Abuela had a very different approach, she did not have written out recipes and she believed you measured food with her heart. Her approach was emotional and there was an attachment and story to each of her dishes. Also, Abuela did not just share her recipes with anyone, and it was unheard of for her to share them with someone who was not a blood relative. Buck remembered Eddie's shock when he had found out that Abeula was teaching him the family recipes, partially because this event had taken place years before they had gotten together.

Between Abuela and Bobby Buck had grown into an impressive home cook with a vast amount of recipes under his belt. Buck loved cooking for people.

“Right! Half an hour and we will be on the road,” Dan announced.

“I’ll drive?” Buck added.

“Sounds good,” Olly agreed, knowing they would be free to drink as much as they want.

Nearly twelve hours Buck stumbled into his bedroom, exhausted. He had a great day, surfing and hanging out with Olly and Dan and a few other guys. The sun had been shining and the waves had been perfect. Buck had tried to enjoy the moment and not get stuck in the fact the beach used to be his Eddie and Chris’ place. Buck was learning that it was best not to get caught up in things he could not change. All that was still to come, he had that to look forward to.

Buck could feel his eyes closing when he was woken up by his phone ringing.

“Hello?” Buck answered his phone

“Buck, it’s Keira, sorry to call late,” Buck sat up to talk.

“Hello, Keria, are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m amazing,” Keria answered, “I’ve done it, Buck. I found it. I found you the perfect place! I got your apartment,”.

“Seriously?” Buck asked, shocked at the enthusiasm Keria was showing normally. She liked to keep her cards close to her chest and not show her hand.

“It’s perfect! Please tell me you are free tomorrow morning?” Keria asked.

“I’ve got training, but not until 11,” Buck answered, “I guess we could meet before,”.

“Buck! We have to! This place is perfect I promise you,” Keria told him, “I’ll message you the address and meet me there for just after 8, I'll bring the coffee,”.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be there,” Buck agreed, “You seem very excited,”.

“Trust me, wait till you see this place. Don’t google it. Just put it in the GPS,” Keira added, “It’s perfect for you,”.

“Okay, hope you aren’t overselling this place,” Buck mused.

“I’m not. This place is worth the hype,” Keria promised “I’ll let you go and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow,”

“Night Keria,” Buck sounded off.

“Night Buck,”

Buck hung up and lay down and wondered what tomorrow would bring.

The next morning Buck woke up early. As normal he reached over to the other side of the bed only to be hit with the harsh reality that Eddie was not there. Buck hated that his sleep riddled brain kept forgetting. Buck groaned and jumped out of bed and quickly made his way to the shared bathroom before anyone else and used up more than his share of the hot water. He really hoped this place that Keria was showing him was as good as he had been told because he was so done with sharing a bathroom. He quickly got dressed and made sure he had everything he needed for training later that day in his bag before heading out.

Buck looked at his phone and saw he had time to grab a coffee and pastry on the way. He checked the address and saw it was in one of his preferred locations. It was the area in LA where Google would open new offices in a few years, yes the crime rate was a little high but Buck could pay for a high-security system and good locks. Eventually, it would be one of the most expensive places to live. The drive was a long one from where he was currently living but as Buck was getting close he realised it would be a short drive to the 118 and to Eddie’s house. So far things were looking up.

Buck pulled up and saw Keria waiting, leaning against her car in a white dress with knee-high boots on and as normal sunglasses perched on her head. She was holding two takeaway coffees and smiled at him.

Buck quickly ate the late bite of his danish and washed it down with his now cold coffee and jumped out the jeep to meet her.

“Morning Buckley!” Keria greeted, she was practically bouncing with excitement which instantly reminded Buck of Chris.

“Morning! Which one of these places are we seeing?” Buck asked, looking around at the surrounding buildings. Most of them looked like Businesses. Maybe it was an apartment above one of them.

“None,” Keria answered as she handed him his drink.

Buck took it and shot her a confessed look.

“The property I am showing you is around the corner,” Keria told him, as they began walking, “I wanted to see your reaction when you first saw it,”

“Okay…” Buck said taking a sip of his drink as they walked around the corner and then down the street, he was definitely intrigued.

“And stop,” Keria ordered. They stopped and Buck looked around confused at what he was meant to react to and then he saw it, across the street.

“No way,”.

“I know!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Seriously!”

“Deadly,” Keria was vibrating with excitement now.

“It’s a…” Buck could not even find the words, “It is the whole place?”.

“The whole place,” Keria confirmed.

“Keria this is…”

“I know!” Keira basically yelled.

“I can’t believe it,” Buck gasped, “It’s a firehouse,”.

They stood across the street from a three-story red brick firehouse. It was beautiful. It had two curved archways on the front of it with the original red doors for the fire engines still in place and on the left-hand side was a door that had been painted the same colour red. It was a smaller firehouse than the 118 but still looked huge. It was detached with a street on one side and an alley on the other. Buck looked up the first floor he could see had large glass windows that also looked like the original and then the top floor was mostly brick with three round windows.

Buck looked over at Keria with pure delight on his face.

“It’s a firehouse,” Buck repeated.

“It is. It’s been out of commission since the 90s. A couple bought it and started doing it up, but ran out of money, so it does need some work, but not a lot! It’s all been brought up to code. They restored a lot of the original features. It is mainly cosmetic stuff that needs doing. I couldn’t not show you. I mean you are saved in my phone as Buck the future firefighter,” Keria explained.

“I love it!” Buck replied, he could not remember the last time he had felt this much excitement, “I can’t believe this,”

“Want to go inside?” Keria asked and Buck just nodded, the use of words was gone from Evan Buckley at this point.

Keria led them across the street and through the side red door and into a hallway, it was dark with no natural light so she had to hit the switch. The Hallway had a single way stairway in front of them and then two large sets of double doors to the right.

“After you?” Keria offered and Buck pushed open the doors. He walked into an amazing space. It had an incredibly high ceiling. This was the space where the fire trucks would have been kept. It was completely empty but still beautiful. The sun was beaming through the glass of the red doors.

“So the doors are the original doors as are the wooden beams above us,” Keria began, Buck looked up not having noticed the beams, “This space can easily fit four cars and still have space for storage or even gym equipment, both of the doors can be opened manually. The couple that owned it added all new wiring and sockets and a water line so if you wanted to add a sink in the back corner you could do,”

“I like the gym idea,” Buck said out loud, his voice echoing slightly in the empty space, plus it would mean they would never have to worry about on-street parking, which would be perfect if Maddie came and lived with him. He also loved the idea of having space for a workout area at home, there would even be space for a ring. Maybe the 118 could start a fight club and that would keep Eddie out of trouble this time around. Buck was confident Athena would kick everyone ass.

“It’s a great space, you could even rent it out for extra money, perfect for a startup as well. Would not take much to turn into offices,” Keria mused, “Want to see upstairs,”

Buck nodded and they walked back to the hallway and towards the end where Bucksaw there was an old fashioned lift with the gate you had to pull downwards.

Keria opened up the lift as she said, “The lift is original, but has been restored and is up to code, obviously there is a fire escape as well, on this left side of the building,”.

Buck nodded as they went up on the floor, they opened the lift and came out into a small hallway, which had a small window at the end to let light in. On the side hand, the wall was a large set of double doors which Keria opened dramatically and then stepped back so Buck could walk into the space. The space was amazing. It was as big as downstairs but with new hard dark wood floors rather than cement but it had the same exposed red brickwork. The room was a long rectangle and there were only windows on the wall that was at the front of the building and the back. There were three big bay windows at the front that let all the natural light through to the back wall which had a couple of smaller windows and a door that led through to some form of outdoor space.

“So it’s all newly fitted floors and light fixtures,” Keria began pointing up at the lights. “They have installed a water and gas line in the back corner for the kitchen but as you can see the kitchen never got installed, it’s all ready to go through, you just need to buy a kitchen. I personally would add a massive island as the space can certainly fit one,”.

“I’d get to design a kitchen,” Buck smiled manically, getting excited at the thought as he walked further into the space. It was big and spacious but did not feel impossible to fill.

“Yep,” Keria said popping the P, “I’d personally put the living area at the front by the bay windows and then have a dining table in the middle of the space with the kitchen in the back corner, you could even fit a small office space in here if you need that,”

Buck nodded, he could feel the space, feel the potential. He would need to buy large pieces of furniture to match the space but he could do that. He could make the space his own. Buck walked towards the windows and saw the shelves that had been built into the wall next to the front door.

“They are built for this space. Handcrafted oak bookshelves,” Keria told him.

Buck just nodded, thinking would he ever buy enough books to fill them. Were DVDs still a thing right now? He walked towards the back of the room where the kitchen would go and tried to visualize where he would want things and what kind of kitchen he would want to fit the space. Something classic, but with modern appliances.

There were three doors in the far corner, two on the sidewall and one on the back wall closest to the kitchen. Buck opened the first one to find a fairly decent closet, the second to a small bathroom that was fairly simple, white tiles and the same dark wood floors, it had a toilet, sink and a shower. Nothing fancy but practical having a bathroom on the main floor. The last door Keria opened and walked through first holding it out to Buck. It was a small outdoor space.

“It’s not the biggest outdoor space, but it’s a decent size,” Keria said as Buck wandered around the small patio. “It gets the light in the evening and you could easily fit an outdoor seating area out here. Also, the owner ran the gas line and water line along that far wall so if you wanted to create a BBQ area you could,”

Buck liked that idea, the space was long rather than wide, but it could still easily fit a couple of counters and a BBQ on the far wall, maybe even a sink as well as an outdoor fridge. Buck imagined hanging up some lights and getting a comfortable outdoor seating area and spending his evening out here. Snuggled with Eddie, gossiping with Maddie and even having the whole team round for a BBQ.

“There is a small space around the corner that leads to the fire escape,” Keria added, “The whole building is up to code and you can definitely add some extra security if you wanted,”.

“I love it,” Buck said, letting his face break out into a huge smile, “So far it’s perfect. I want it,”

Keria laughed, “We still have more to see, but I thought you would like it. The second I saw it ticked all your boxes and plus it’s an old firehouse! You want to go upstairs?”

“Please,” Buck nodded, they made their way back inside and through the main room and into the lift. The lift brought them out to a similar corridor as before, only this one curved around, there were four separate doors leading to rooms. The main difference is that the ceiling was much lower on this floor than the other two.

“I’ll show you the spare bedrooms first, there are two spare rooms and a master suite that is at the front of the firehouse,” Keria said, opening a door that leads to the first room. It was a pretty standard square room with the same dark wood floor, there was one window on the back wall of the firehouse, “The main thing with this room is the natural light, it will only get it in the evenings,”.

Buck nodded and opened a door to find a pretty decent sized closet.

“This whole floor was roof space,” Keria explained, “So the last owners created this floor plan, originally it was just used for storage,”,

“It’s a nice room,” Buck nodded. It would easily work as a guest room and fit a queen size bed in it.

“The next bedroom is bigger,” Keria told him as they walked out but did not go into a bedroom instead of a smaller room, “So the owners never got around to finishing this room, but this would be a bathroom, the water line has been put in but you would need to put in fixtures,”

Buck nodded, he honestly did not mind that. Gave him a chance to make the bathroom fully accessible for Chris and also for himself, all through this time around he was not planning to get his leg crushed under a firetruck. However he was still going to be a firefighter and accidents do happen, so no stairs and an accessible bathroom were ideal. The room itself much like the last one was a perfect square so easy enough to fit a bathroom in.

“Can we see the other bedroom?” Buck asked and Keria nodded and they walked out and through the next door.

This room was an L-shaped room running along the back of the house and then down the sidewall, creating a nice little nook in the corner. It was bigger than the other room and despite the window being on the back wall, it was lighter than the other room. Buck opened a door to find a double closet bigger than the other one. This would be a perfect room for Maddie.

“I love this,” Buck muttered.

“It’s a good bedroom. Good sized, storage space and gets all the natural light in the evening,” Keria asked, “Are you thinking of someone in particular for this room?”

“My sister, if she comes to stay with me or even wants to live with me,” Buck answered honestly as he walked to the window to look outside. Last time Maddie had wanted her own place, which Buck understood he had been living at Abby’s at the time and it had not been a permanent situation for either of them. This time around Buck wanted Maddie to stay with him as long as possible. Hopefully, this would help avoid the Doug situation and they would be able to get through it without Chimney getting stabbed and Maddie kidnapped

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Keria replied, “Older or younger?”

“Older,” Buck answered.

“Ah, you are the younger annoying brother, like Olly,” Keria jokes, not knowing how true that statement had been the first time around.

Buck laughed, “Maddie, my sister, would properly agree with you there. She’s my favourite person, she basically raised me. I want her to know she always has a home with me,”.

“That’s really sweet, Buck,” Keria told him honestly. The more she got to know Evan Buckley the more she realised he was not what he seemed. On first meeting, she had thought him nothing more than a young cocky frat boy who was wasting her time. She could not have been more wrong, Buck was wise beyond his years and very actually really sweet and thoughtful.

Buck blushed, “One more room?”

“The last one, it’s the master and it stretches the whole front of the building,” Keria explained, “Let’s go,”

They walked out into the hall and through the only door on the other side, this room was much bigger. It was narrower, a rectangle rather than a square room. It had a lot of floor space though and could still fit a king-sized bed in it with space for bedside tables next to it. The main difference was the light, it was four large circular windows on the first wall that let in a lot of natural light.

“As you can see this is the biggest room with the most light in the mornings,” Keria began, “It means it is darker in the evenings,”.

“I love the windows,” Buck said, “Are they original?”

“They are,” Keria nodded, “New glass has been added, but they are the original frames. Like the other rooms, there is build it closet space up here,”

Keria walked to the other end of the room and opened up the closet to show Buck, “And this door here leads to an ensuite, or it will if you decide to make it one, it could also be a walk-in wardrobe”

Buck looked into a small square room that he would most likely turn into a bathroom.

“I want it,” Buck said, “We need to make an offer. Now it’s can’t wait,”

“You want the 117 to be yours then?” Keria asked as she grabbed her phone out of her bag.

“What did you just say?” Buck asked, throwing her a look of disbelief.

“The 117, that’s the number of the old firehouse,” Keria told him.

Buck could not believe it, “It’s the 117 firehouse,”

“Sure is,” Keria confirmed, “Well she used to be. Closed down in 2003,”.

“Keria, this is it. This is my place. You need to put in an offer now,” Buck told her.

“This is the asking price,” Keria said, showing him on her phone, “There is a lot of interest in this place so I say go for the asking price

It was less than what Buck had been expecting, “Go for five grand above,”

“Really?” Keria asked, “We can haggle, I might be able to get it lower”

“No, not worth the risk, I need this place,” Buck told her.

Buck knew this was the place for him, not only was it called the 117 but those numbers had another meaning to him. It was a very important date. It was Chris’ birthday. Chirs had been born on the 11th of July.

Buck’s offer got accepted the very next day from then on life got busy. There were so many things that needed doing. There were bank trips and meetings and this was on top of working and training. There were also building inspections which luckily Dan agreed to help out with as he knew a guy. Dan was proving to be very helpful with his background in construction and renovations. Buck also had to make choices for the bathrooms and the kitchen as well as the fittings. When it came to designing the kitchen Buck kept thinking of Bobby and thinking how much he missed the older man. Bobby definitely would have helped Buck in designing the kitchen, it would have been something they could have done together. In every choice Buck made he kept thinking of what Bobby would do.

Will and Marco had been the first two that Buck had shown the place to, followed by a trip with Olly and Will. So far everyone has loved the place almost as much as Buck. He could imagine the reactions of the 118 when they found out he lived in an old firehouse, he knew that they would tease him over it but ultimately think it was really cool. The person who would think it was the coolest would be undoubtedly Chris. Chris would definitely find it amazing that he lived in a firehouse. For years Chris had bragged to all his friends how his Dad and Bucky were firefighters. Eddie had once confessed to Buck that he was waiting for the day that Chris no longer thought he was cool and would become embarrassed by his Dad. That day had never come through, Chris had always loved that his Dad was a firefighter and had always been super proud of him and Buck as well.

Buck was not sure if he missed Chris or Eddie more. Being without them was like missing a limb. At least with Eddie, he knew he would be seeing him soon. At least a version of Eddie that was similar to the one he lost. The Chris he had left behind was a young adult, a first-year college student and the one he would meet in the next year would be a little boy. He tried not to think about the Chris he had left behind, the one who had just lost his father and had been so strong through it all. Buck did not like to think about that version of Chris, he imagined that that timeline ended when he woke up in the past. There was no way to get back there and he just did not like to think of Chris on his own without him and Eddie.

Instead, Buck thought about the day he would get to reunite with the boy who had been a son to him. He understood that Chris would have no idea who he was and the history they shared or would share? Time travel made tenses confusing. Still, Buck could not wait to see Chris again and get to relive all that time once more. The phrase children grow up fast was so true and this time around Buck was going to cherish every moment with Chris. He could not wait for them to reunite.

Everything he was doing now was for his family. They might not know him, only three of them had ever even met him at this point in their lives, but that did not matter. Their family was everything to Evan Buckely and it was the meaning he had found for his life. The purpose of waking up thirteen years in the past - Family. Without his family, nothing else mattered. Family was everything.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9 - July.

Dear Maddie,
I did it! Your little brother is now officially a homeowner. I put in an offer and they accepted it and a lot of very complicated and legal stuff later...I got the keys! It’s an old firehouse and it’s beautiful. It’s called the 117. I live at the 117 firehouses! How cool is that Mads? I want you to know there is room for you. The first time I saw it and I knew it would be your room if you ever need a place to live. It’s three bedrooms and there is plenty of room...so it’s there if you ever need it. I miss you, Maddie. Everyday. I just want you to know I’m always here if you need me. I pinky promise. I love you, Maddie.
Wish you were here.
Buck xx

Buck was sitting on the floor of the main room in his newly brought firehouse. It was the first time since getting the keys that he had been alone in the 117. He had bought a six-pack of beers and was just sitting taking it all in. He owned this place. It was his. He had gotten Will to take a picture of him standing in front of the 117 and made that into a postcard to send to Maddie. He had just written it and it was now on the floor next to him.

Dan had been invaluable through the whole thing and Buck had been both surprised and impressed with both his knowledge and skills. This whole thing would have been so much harder without Dan there to help out and advise. Buck was sure that without Dan he would have ended up paying thousands more to get everything done.
The kitchen and bathrooms were now finished, luckily for Buck all the hard work of putting wiring and gas and water lines had been done so it had just been a case of getting the fixtures in. He had kept the design simple for the bathrooms and all accessible. Large walk-in showers and large bathtubs that he could easily fit into after a long day of fighting fires. All state of the art and would still be considered modern in ten years.

The kitchen he had tried to match the already built-in aesthetic of the place. With dark wooden cabinets with a slightly lighter wood countertop. The fixtures he had gone were modern appliances that had classic and timeless designs. He had been tempted to get a smart fridge if only to wind up Eddie. The end product was amazing. In the far corners of the main room, there was now a kitchen. Cabinet stretched over two walls with the fridge at the end and a double oven. On the back wall that led out onto the outdoor space, there was a large sink and dishwasher. The best part was the impressive island that now stood in the middle. Buck loved his kitchen. He could not wait to cook in it. The meals he would cook for his family here. He could picture it so clearly.

As he sat on the floor, there was still no furniture in the place, he took a sip of beer. He imagined all the future nights he would spend here. He pictured the space full, not just of furniture but of people, of his family. He looked around and imagined the kids of the 118 running around laughing and having fun. He pictured himself and Bobby in the kitchen making sure the food was ready as Athena and Hen made fun of them while sitting at the island drinking wine. He looked out towards the outdoors area and saw his sister and May in an argument with Chim and Albert over who had worked the craziest shift. It was not just the 118 family he imagined; he also saw Marco and Jesse chatting with Karen and Micahel and Olly and Dan talking with Pepa and Abela.

Then Buck turned to his left and there at his side just as it should be, he saw Eddie. The 117 was full of the people he loved and next to him was the man he loved most in the world, Eddie Diaz. Buck smiled at the image of Eddie. He was beautiful. Just perfect in Buck’s memory. Dark hair and dark eyes that looked back at him with such fondness. Buck sighed and just drank in the sight of Eddie.

Then he blinked.

Buck opened his eyes and it was all gone. The laughter, the people, Eddie, everything was gone. He was alone in the firehouse. It was all a dream. All in his imagination. Buck knew it would not be a dream forever that someday in the not so distant future it would become his reality. That one day the 117 would be filled just as he imagined. Till then there was nothing left to do but wait.

One of the downsides to buying your first ever home is that you had to buy everything. Buck quickly realised that he had bought all of this space but had nothing to fill it with. At this point in his life he did not even own the bed he was sleeping on. He owned nothing. Well not nothing, but still very little. Everything he owned in the world could be packed up in the jeep, driven over to the 117 and unpacked in the same day, the same afternoon even. He owned no furniture. Nothing that would help fill the three-bedroom firehouse he had just bought.

Buck missed his stuff. That was something he had not thought would be an issue, but Buck missed his things. He missed his iPhone and tablet, technology had moved on so much in the next decade, there was so much his current phone just could not do. He missed his overpriced but seriously soft blanket that had been perfect for cold winter nights snuggled up on the couch. The thing he missed most was his bed.

He had bullied Eddie into letting him buy them a new bed when they finally moved in together. Eddie bed was a double that was not big enough for two men of their size. That combined with the fact that Eddie had got the cheapest bed possible when he first moved to LA over ten years ago meant that a new bed was a hill that Buck had been prepared to die on. He had gone all out and gotten them a king-sized that was almost too big for the room, with a top of the line mattress. With it, he had bought the softest and fluffiest pillows and duvet and it was a dream to sleep on. Not to mention the fact that he got to cuddle up to Eddie in it every night. Buck had never slept better than when he had slept in that bed. Even on nights when Eddie was working without him, he would sleep cuddled up to Eddie’s pillow letting the scent of his boyfriend lull him into a deep sleep.

Buck would pay any amount of money to have that bed.

This meant there was one thing to do. He would have to go shopping, which was fine because he did not mind shopping. He had regularly been accused of having an online shopping addiction. When they had lived together Eddie had regularly complained about the amount of Amazon Prime packages that arrived daily. Chris loved it as normally there was something for him in at least one of the boxes. However, the idea of shopping to buy enough stuff to fill an entire firehouse was overwhelming at least. He did not even know where to start. The whole thing just felt impossible.

“I just don’t know where to begin,” Buck moaned, he was behind the bar at Patty’s with Will next to him and Marco and Jesse on the other side of the bar, “What do you buy first?”

“I’d go for a bed personally,” Will muttered, “Given you are currently sleeping on the floor,”.

“You are sleeping on the floor, Buck?” Jesse asked, “What happened to the bed you were sleeping in?”.

“It didn't make sense to keep paying rent on a room, a ridiculous amount of rent may I add, when I had a whole place just sat there empty,” Buck defended.

“But you didn’t think you would need to buy things before you gave up that place?” Marco asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I was excited!” Buck rebutted with a pout.

“Buck wanted to sleep in his firehouse,” Will teased.

“Wouldn’t you?” Buck asked excitedly, “Come on, it’s super cool that I live at the 117! Who cares that I don’t have towels or plates,”.

“You don’t have towels?” Jesse repeated with an element of shock in her voice.

“Nope, he got the greenlight off Dan that the water was up and running and he moved then and there that day,” Will explained, “I can not stress how little thought he put into it,”.

“But you have money right? Like you aren’t broke” Jesses asked and Buck nodded, “So just go and buy the essential things you need,”.

“But I need everything?” Buck moaned, “I don’t know where to start,”.

“Towels seem like a good idea to me,” Marco added, “Where are you even showering?”

“I can shower after I'm done training or at the twenty-four-hour gym down the street,” Buck explained.

“I’m free tomorrow, “ Jesse shrugged, “I could do with some new homeware, I can take him shopping,”.

Buck pulled a face at the idea that he needed to be ‘taken shopping’; he was a fully grown man in his thirties. However, he had to remember this is not how these people saw him. They saw him as young and inexperienced, doing all this for the first time. Also, he was feeling overwhelmed at the idea of buying furniture for an entire firehouse. Left to his own devices he would probably forget something essential like cutlery or curtains. He probably should accept Jesse’s help.

“I’ll pick you up around ten?” Jesse offered.

“Sure,” Buck agreed, “Think you are the only one who hasn’t seen the firehouse yet,”.

“That’s true!” Jesse agreed, “You can show me around before we shop, it will be easier to pick things out that way,”.

“Sounds like a plan,” Buck agreed.

The back of the jeep was full. He and Jesse had a successful day and he was now the proud owner of basically everything he could ever need in the kitchen or bathroom and some things for other rooms as well. They had bought enough stuff to fill his cupboards. His favourite was the state of the line Hildy coffee machine that he knew Eddie would hate on sight. It felt good to buy things for his home. They had even stopped by a furniture store and had a look at some bigger pieces and placed a couple of orders. In the next couple of days, a whole bedroom set would be arriving for one of the spare rooms, as well as some end tables, a desk, arms chairs and a set chest of draws that Buck had no idea where he would put, but he had the space.

They had just finished unloading the jeep and setting everything out on the island.

“I think that went rather well,” Jesse mused.

“For sure, you were a massive help, don’t think I would have bought half this stuff without you there” Buck agreed, Jesse had pushed him to buy things he liked and her impulsive nature matched his.

“You knew what you wanted,” Jesse replied with a shrug, “You just needed a push. You're away now, now stopping your spending spree,”.

“Just need to decide what to buy next,” Buck mused.

“Sofa has got to be pretty high on that list. Plus a bed,” Jesse answered, “Basically anything to stop you sleeping on the floor,”.

Buck agreed, “Well with my new tablet we got I’ll get internet shopping,”

“Remember how big the space is,” Jesse advised, “It’s not an easy space to fill so you are going to need rather large statement pieces of furniture,”.

“Do you think a bright fire truck red couch would be too much?” Buck asked, mostly kidding.

“Maybe a touch,” Jesse joked back, “Good to have a theme though,”.

“My friend Dan is going to build a shelving unit for the kitchen above the counter space that matches the bookshelves in here. He has been trying to outsource the same kind of Oak,” Buck explained.

“Do you even own enough books for the shelves?” Jesse asked.

“Nope, I mean I like to read but I’ve always bought second hand or downloaded books,” he replied, “Gonna have to start buying more, thought I’d do a mixture adding some photos and some nicknacks along with books. Spread everything out,”.

“Good idea,” Jesse added, “Just remember it’s going to take time, most people buy things over a lifetime they don’t have to start from scratch like this,”.

“Yeah, I don’t own much,” Buck added, getting stuff out of the bags and trying to come up with a system of how he was going to organise his kitchen. At least unlike his loft, there were no high cupboards that were impossible to reach.

“Can I ask why that is?” Jesse asked, helping by grabbing the wooden cutlery organiser and sorting out Buck’s utensils.

“Well, I left home at eighteen, did the whole college thing for a while but it wasn’t really for me. Eventually, my sister Maddie gave her her jeep and for years I just travelled around from place to place. That car has been at home for so long,” Buck explained as he unboxed a couple of large appliances he had bought, “I guess when you travel around so much you don’t buy a lot of things. Better to travel light,”.

“You are putting down roots now though?” Jesse asked, grabbing the next bag which held a box of plates, “What was different about LA? I mean you’ve bought a property here, you must think you’ll be here long term?”.

“I have a good feeling,” Buck answered while holding up his blender trying to decide if it was worth leaving out rather than packing away into a cupboard and getting it out each time he wanted to make a smoothie.

“That’s it?” Jesse asked, unpacking the bowls.

“Just think I was always meant to be here,” Buck answered.

“Fate?” Jesse asked sceptically.

“Some things are meant to be,” Buck replied, “I mean what are the chances of the perfect place for me being an old firehouse,”.

“I’d say you think this place is perfect because it’s an old firehouse,” Jesse replied.

“Either way I’m where I belong,” Buck said, “I was always going to end up here.

Buck had been forced to take a week off from both the bar and training so he could focus on getting fully moved into the firehouse known as the 117. He had not been happy about it but Marco had refused to give him hours at the bar and then Will and Dan had bullied him into taking the week off training as well. Buck understood where they were coming from but was still unhappy about being forced to do it. He knew it was needed though. With the number of online deliveries that were arriving, Buck needed to be at the firehouse at all times. However, the amount of waiting around meant more time to internet shop. Buck was sure with the amount of stuff arriving the 117 would soon be fully furnished. His internet shopping had gotten out of hand, he had ordered so much stuff, it would not surprise him if he accidentally ordered an extra bed or sofa.

Buck was currently on the ground floor of the firehouse where the vast space was empty apart from his jeep. He was currently just wandering around the space waiting for something to arrive so he could have something to do. He still did not have a plan for what to do with this space. It was a great space and he was glad he did not have to worry about street parking ever, but it was just so big. With it being made to fit two full-sized fire trucks. He could easily leave space for four cars and still only fill half the space. He did like the suggestion to turn it into a home gym, he would have to look at ordering some equipment. There was even enough room for a ring; maybe they could avoid Eddie joining an underground street fighting club if Buck provided him with an outlet. Maybe he would start off with a couple of punching bags first.

However, this time around hopefully Eddie’s fight club would never be a thing. Buck was definitely not planning to get his leg crushed under the firetruck which would mean no blood clots and there was no reason he would have to sue the LAFD. So maybe they could avoid Eddie’s anger issues and that whole mess. There was also Shannon’s death, but Buck was already thinking of ways that could be stopped. The bigger issue was Shannon being married to the love of Buck’s life.

However, she was Christopher’s mother and Buck was not going to just sit around and let the boy lose his mother. Not if Buck could stop it and spare the Diaz boys the pain of losing Shannon. Buck was confident that he and Eddie would still end up together. He knew Shannon had handed Eddie divorce papers before her untimely death. He may have to wait and be patient but he knew that his time to be with Eddie would come. Till then he was fully prepared to sit back and enjoy being Eddie’s best friend. It was a role he was familiar with. This time around he would not wait as long to make his move. He knew Eddie loved him. He had future knowledge of that. They belonged together.

Once he and Eddie had gotten together it had been like everything had fallen into place. One night Eddie had fully opened up about his past and they had talked about Shannon in length. He knew Eddie felt a great amount of guilt about their relationship and how he had not been the husband and partner she needed. The one that Eddie had then become for Buck. Hoping this time around Eddie could let go of some of that guilt.

Buck knew it would not be easy, but he was prepared for that. He knew he had a long road ahead of him before he would even meet Eddie, let alone get to be with him again. Eddie was worth it though and Buck could wait. He believed in their bond as friends and then later as it shifted to a romantic bond. There was no version of this life where he did not love Eddie and Eddie did not love him back.

Buck’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the very loud doorbell. Buck had a company coming next week to replace the old bell with a new intercom system that would be installed throughout the 117. The system was a state of the line and would add a layer of security Buck wanted.

Buck answered the door to see Keria standing there with a little girl on her hip.

“Keira! This is a nice surprise!” Buck greeted them moving out the way so Keira could walk in, “And who is this?”.

“This is my little girl Lizzie!” Keria introduced, “Liz, this is Buck. Can you say hi?”

“Hello, Mr Buck!” Lizzie greeted him brightly, not shy at all. She was the spitting image of her mother with the same eyes and button nose.

Buck smiled and waved, “Very nice to meet you, Miss Lizzie. What brings you here today?”.

“We have a present for you!” Lizzie answered pointing down at the bag her mother was holding.

“A little housewarming present,” Keria explained, “But more of an excuse to come and see you and the place. Olly told me about the work being done and I wanted to see it for myself!”

“Come on up!” Buck offered as he moved back towards the lift and opened the door and let the two girls in.

“How are you finding the place?” Keria asked as they got into the lift.

“It’s perfect!” Buck said, pointing towards the button and letting Lizzie press it, “I have high hopes when it comes to the house now, Keria. You’ve proved your skills,”.

“I never doubted myself for a second,” Keria agreed as they arrived on the second floor and left the elevator, “I’m not saying you weren’t a challenge, Buckley, because damn you knew what you wanted and did not want to compromise but I always knew I’d find it,”.

“And you came through,” Buck said as they walked through into the main living space.

The space was no longer empty like it was the last time Keria had been here just days after the sale had gone through when Buck, herself, Will and Olly had all drank fizzy wine and toasted to Buck’s new home. This time there was a fully built kitchen in the far left corner with a large island with stools all around it. The dark wood floors had all been polished and the three large bay windows at the front of the building had been cleaned. There was now a large dark grey corner sofa on the right-hand side along with two very conformable dark blue armchairs. There was still so much space to be filled though.

Lizzie began fidgeting in her mother's arms wanting to get down and explore the space, Buck nodded, that was fine and Kiera put her down.

Lizzie quickly moved around the space looking around.

“It’s amazing Buck,” Keria commented, walking over to the kitchen and running her hand along with the dark wood countertop.

Buck followed her and switched on the coffee machine, “Coffee?”

Keira nodded, “I’m impressed, Olly said you weren’t buying things, but it’s coming along,”.

Buck rolled his eyes, “Olly’s impatient and doesn’t get that not everything is going to be done in a day,”.

“That’s my brother for you,” Keria added as Buck placed a cup of coffee in front of her.

“I have juice?” Buck offered to point to Lizzie who was running around playing some kind of game.

“She’s fine,” Keria said, reaching down and placing a present bag in front of him, “Open your gift,”.

Buck did as he was told and reached and pulled out a bottle of what looked to be very nice whisky, “Thank you, this is wonderful,”.

Keria smiled and Buck reached in and gently pulled out a house plant, “It’s an Ivy, very hard to kill. Thought it might look nice on your shelves,”

“Will is coming to take them all down and sand them and do some repair work next week,” Buck told her, referring to the old oak shelves that were just to the right on the front door, they were old and large, “He’s found so similar wood so he’s going to make me some for kitchen as well. Thank you for this, Keria, it’s wonderful. It is what the place needs,”.

“Did you like the plant, Mr Buck,” Lizzie asked, as she ran over excitedly.

“You can just call me Buck, Kid,” Buck told her with a smile, “I did, did you help pick it out?”

“I did!” Lizzie yelled, “I picked it because she’s called rapunzel! Like the princess! Have you seen Tangled Mr Buck?”

“I have!” Buck replied, technically in this timeline he had yet to see Tangled. The first time he had watched the film was with Christopher at his loft when he had been recovering from getting crushed by the ladder truck. The pair had spent many days catching Buck up on the world of Disney, “My favourite character is Max!”

“Max is funny!” Lizzie agreed, “I think mine is Rapunzel! She’s so cool!”

“She really is!” Buck agreed, his heart aching with the cuteness of it all. Once he and Eddie had gotten together they had talked about having another kid together. However, the timing had never quite worked out. The first time they had talked about it Christopher had been sixteen and it was a scary thing to think about having a baby while your other child was getting ready to go to college. So they decided to wait. After all, there was no biological clock ticking. They had even talked about fostering as Hen and Karen had done. The next two years had been crazy with Bobby having a heart attack on shift and then leading to his retirement and Chris graduating and moving to College.

Life had been busy, far too hectic to even think about adding another kid into the mix. He and Eddie had never even gotten around to getting married. Despite talking about it several times. Then Eddie had died, suddenly with no warning, Eddie was gone. After Eddie’s death, Buck had focused on Christopher. Eddie’s death had wrecked Chris and Buck knew it was his job to be there for Eddie’s son. He knew that is what Eddie would want him to do. Be there for Christopher when he could not. Christopher had been over eighteen so no longer a child, but still so young to have lost both of his biological parents.

Now Buck watched Lizzie, he imagined the daughter that Eddie and he could have had. Maybe this time around they would have more kids, maybe time would be kinder to him this time around. They would be able to do all the things they missed out on.

“You okay?” Keria asked softly. Buck looked around and saw that he had got lost in his head. Lizzie was now sitting on the couch playing some kind of game on a kid’s tablet.

“Sorry,” Buck apologized, “Got caught up in the past,”.

“That’s okay, Buck,” Keria told him, leaning over and putting a hand on his arm in comfort, “You know, you can always talk to me if you need…”

Keria was interrupted by the ringing of the very loud doorbell. Once again Buck could not wait for the harsh bell to be replaced with the modern system he had ordered.

“Let me grab that,” Buck said jumping up, “It’s most likely a delivery,”.

Buck made his way downstairs and opened the door to find Dan and Olly standing in the doorway, holding what looks to be some kind of furniture, it was hard to see as it was badly wrapped in bubble wrap. Buck could see it seemed to be a block of dark wood. Maybe a TV Unit?

“Hey, Buck,” Dan greeted and he and Olly began walking into the 117, forcing Buck to move out of the way.

“Hey, guys. What is that?” Buck asked, he had not been expecting them to be showing up and certainly not with furniture.

“It’s a coffee table!” Olly said, unhelpfully as they arrived at the lift. Buck pulled the lift door up for them to get into.

“Where did it come from?” Buck asked, feeling like they were being deliberately unhelpful.

The trio got in the lift and Olly began his tale, “Well last night I finished my shift around ten, I wasn’t on the close for once which was amazing, I decided to stick around and have a drink and got talking to this girl, Amy. She was super hot! Long blonde hair, amazing ass. We went back to her place after splitting a bottle of white wine, Pinot Griego. The sex was out of this world, turns out she is a part-time yoga teacher while finishing up her degree,”

“Is this going anywhere?” Buck asked, as he closed the door and pressed the button.

“It is,” Dan promised, “Olly, jump head,”.

“Right, so it turns out Amy has just finished her degree and is moving to New York on Friday to start this kick-ass corporate job. She’s moving in with her old high school friend, Jenny, who once slept with her boyfriend but apparently, they are over that now. I’m not sure how you can just get over that,”.

“Olly!” Dan prompted as Buck opened the lift door and the boys carried the coffee table out into the hall.

“Basically, she is getting rid of all her stuff and said if I wanted anything. So I called Dan and he came with this truck and we got two new chairs for our living room and this boss ass coffee table for you,” Olly finished his story as they made their way into the main living space of the 117 and put down the coffee table.

“Uncle Olly!” Lizzie immediately screamed. Olly had barely a second of putting down the very heavy table before he had two arms full of an over-excited four-year-old.

“Liz-Bug!” Olly exclaimed as he spun her around making her giggle.

Buck smiled, this was the first time he had seen Olly and Lizzie interact and it made him think about his own relationship with his niece. Jee was eight years old the last time he had seen her. Chim and Maddie had decided both Jee and her two younger brothers were too young to go to the funeral. However, Buck and Chris had gone over for dinner at the Han/Buckley household the night before Eddie’s funeral. Buck had not even made it through the door before Jee was in his arms hugging him with as much strength as her body could muster. Buck had hugged the little girl tight as he watched Maddie come and hug Christopher with the same amount of fierce love as her daughter.

Thinking of Maddie and her kids, Buck watches as Keria comes over to hug her little brother after telling him to be careful with Lizzie.

Dan came and stood next to him and patted him on the shoulder, “You got something we can open this up with,”.

“Your toolbox is still on the side in the kitchen from last time you were here,” Buck replied, Dan had become his own personal handyman of late. At some point, Buck would have to buy his own tools but for now, Dan was his go-to guy. It was a good deal as Buck just paid for Dan’s drinks anytime they went out. With all the work Dan had done, Buck was sure he had earned free drinks for at least the next three months.

Dan came back over with a penknife and began opening up the coffee table. Buck looked and it was clearly an old piece, it was distressed but looked good.

“I looked it over, it’s solid oak, no wood rot either. Could do with varnish but other than that it’s in good nick,” Dan explained, “I’ll off tomorrow, was coming over to do the shelves anyway. I can vanish it then. I can paint it if you want, but I’d need to strip it first,”.

“No, no,” Buck stopped him, “I like it. Sounds like a good plan. You sure you don’t mind doing all this?”

“Not at all. I didn’t realise how much I’d missed working with my hands,” Dan said thoughtfully.

“You thinking of getting back into it,” Buck asked, an idea brewing in his head.

“Na, mate,” Dan said, his British accent prominent, “I don’t think I could work for someone else like that in construction,”

“You could start your own business?” Buck suggested, “You said you knew a few guys who were looking for work in construction. Start your own crew?”.

Dan took in Buck’s words, “I dunno, I kinda left that behind when I left England, but I do miss it. The comradery of being on a crew. The feeling at the end of the day when you look at something and know you built that,”.

“You are damn good at it as well,” Buck added, “You being project manager through the kitchen and bathroom installation went effortlessly. Hell you ended up doing all the lighting yourself after you saw how much they tried to charge me,”.

“It was daylight robbery Buck!” Dan said, “I don’t know, it’s a lot of work. I’d need to go and get a loan, which with my credit score is dicey! And there would be so much paperwork. Plus I’d have to build up a client base, find an office space”.

“Well you have your first client right here,” Buck told him, “There are going to be so many jobs that need doing to get this place set up. Plus Keria is showing me houses next week and they are all fixer-uppers,”

“They are, most of them are going to be months of work” Keria confirmed leaving her brother to entertain her kid and joining the conversation, “Also I can help with your client base. The contractor I used to recommend has just retired and his nephew has taken over and if I am honest I can’t stand him, he’s got no sense of time management. I can easily help you build a client base,”.

“I can help with start-up money as well,” Buck offered, “I’d happily invest,”.

Dan looked actually pretty into the idea, “My parents would want to help out if they knew about it,”.

“Do you want their help though?” Buck asked, “I mean does their money come with strings,”.

“Oh for sure,” Dan agreed, “It comes with their opinions on everything I am doing wrong which will most likely be everything. Not to mention the stick I’ll get off my brothers,”.

“So do it without them,” Buck told him.

“And you want to be my investor?” Dan asked, clearly sceptical, “Why?”

“Honestly?” Buck asked to which Dan nodded, “You are amazing at this stuff and I hate working with contractors. I know you, I trust you not to rip me off and tell me I need something just because you know it’s going to make a tidy profit. I have the money and I think you are a good investment, Dan,”.

“Why have you gotten all this money?” Olly asked from across the room where Lizzie was currently using him as her own personal climbing frame, “Because at the start of this year you were as poor as us and now you are buying old firehouses and looking at houses!”.

“Oliver Andrew Wilson!” Keria scolded, outraged that her brother would ask something like that.

“Come on, Keria!” Olly wined, “You yourself said you were curious about how such a young guy had enough money to go from a rather crappy house share to well...This!”.

Buck laughed and shrugged it off, “I came into some money, made some good investments and here we are,”.

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Dan commented.

“It was a lot of luck,” Buck tried to shrug off, knowing that it was not in fact luck but rather future knowledge coming into play, “Anyway I’m thinking by Saturday this place will be mostly set up by then and I’m going to have a little house warming!”.

“Party!” Olly yelled, throwing Lizzie up in the air and effortlessly catching her.

“Olly! Be careful with her!” Keria scolded.

“I’m fine, Momma!” Lizzie exclaimed happily as Olly threw her up in the air again.

“She’s fine, Keria,” Olly echoed, teasing his big sister.

Keria rolled her eyes, “So a housewarming?”

“Nothing big,” Buck carried on, “Just the people who helped me get this far. Won’t be a big thing, but I’m going to cook an amazing pork belly and we can have some drinks?”.

“Sounds good man,” Dan agreed, “I’m on the day shift, so I’ll be here”.

“Same!” Olly yelled, also full of enthusiasm and equally ready for any type of party.

Buck smiled, at first, he had not been sure that he had wanted to celebrate moving into the 117 because it felt wrong to have a party without his family. However in the five months since he had woken up in the past he had somehow got himself a really great group of friends. It was only this week when he realised how out of the way everyone had gone to help him move into the firehouse that he came to the conclusion that he had people he wanted to celebrate with. It was more than that though it was also that he wanted to thank them for all they had done for him. Olly had introduced him to Keria who had found him the 117 and been invaluable in her knowledge of the housing market in LA. Will had gotten him the job at Patty’s and thus helped him meet Marco and Jesse who had gone out their way to help with having the basics for his first home of his own. Lastly, there was Dan who had gone well beyond his duty with all the jobs he had done for the 117.

Buck wanted to thank them the only way he knew how, the way Bobby had taught him to thank the people around him. By cooking them an amazing home-cooked meal and throwing them a party. Buck may not have the 118 yet by his side but he did have some rather incredible people.

By Saturday evening the 117 had never looked finer. There was still rather a long way to go but the basics were done and the place was ready for a party. In the space of a week, Buck had gone from not owning any beds to being the owner of three. One king-size bed for his room and a queen size for the two guest rooms. The highest floor of the 117 was looking good. There was still a way to go but the rooms were functional. They had all the basics in them, all of the little more personal touches would come with time.

The biggest transformation was the main room on the first floor. It was not finished by any means but at least now there were several pieces of furniture in the room. You walked into the room and on your left was the dark grey corner sofa sat in the middle of the space with two deep royal blue armchairs on either side. The coffee table that Olly had gotten him had been restored beautifully by Dan was in the middle of the room on top of a blue and grey rug that was the largest one the store had sold. Buck loved the three bay windows at the end of the room that let in so much natural light.

The biggest transformation had been Dan’s project of restoring the original oak shelves. Dan had individually taken them all down and set up a woodworking station downstairs where he had sanded and restrained each one. Then with Will’s help, they had put on a state of the art smart TV in the middle and then placed each shelf around it. Buck had placed the few books he owned on the shelves, but there was still plenty of space for all the future books he would buy. He also placed the Ivy that Keria and Lizzie had gotten him, along with a few photos he had of him and Maddie. Buck tried not to be too sad about the fact he could not picture his family up yet, he would have to wait till he actually met them to do that. The shelves were still pretty empty but Buck knew he would be able to fill them up with time.

The space next to the couch was still empty as he had not been able to find a dining room table he liked for the space yet, however, Keria had promised to take him to an estate sale next week where she was confident they would find what he was looking for. For now, a prop up table had been placed there back towards the wall and a makeshift bar there. It made Buck consider installing an actual bar for the space, he would need to talk to Will about that. The kitchen was easily Buck’s favourite space in the firehouse. The dark cabinets with the lighter countertops, the large double burner oven, smart fridge and even smarter coffee machine. It was perfect. Dan had worked his magic and added shelves along the back wall for glasses and mugs and a few other bits. The shelves, while not as old as the ones by the couch, looked very similar and Buck loved them.

Buck was happy with the space. He knew it would take time for the whole thing to settle into becoming his home, but for now, he was happy. It was nearly six and everything was ready. The Pork was cooking in the oven. All the side dishes he had pre-made so he would have very little to do once people arrived. One of the lessons Bobby had taught him about cooking for large groups was that preparation was key. He had also taught up what foods could be prepared early and be fine to sit for ages. Buck was well aware that no one hosted a party like Bobby and Athena, but he was willing to try.

The first to arrive was Marco and Jesse, Buck went down to greet them and bring them up. They handed him a welcome gift of a set of whiskey glasses and a nice bottle of whiskey to go with it, which Buck thanked them for and promised to open and use both tonight.

“Evan Buckley, this place looks amazing!” Marco beamed proudly as he walked around the space toward the sofa area.

“It really does!” I can’t believe how quickly you got everything done!” Jesse marvelled, “I love the shelves and that coffee table!”.

“My friend Olly actually got me that for free!” Buck bragged.

“No way!” Jesse exclaimed, “He’s got good taste!”.

Buck laughed at that and decided not to tell the tale of how Olly acquired the coffee table. Some things were better left unsaid.

“I can’t believe how quickly you’ve got this place set up,” Marco praised.

“I’ve had a lot of help,” Buck said, flashing a smile at Jesse who smiled back, “People have been amazing,”.

“I’m just glad you are no longer sleeping on the floor,” Jesse added with a laugh.

“Me too,” Buck agreed, just as the intercom system went Buck saw it was Dan so buzzed him up from his phone, knowing Dan had been here enough times to know how to work the elevator,

“Let me grab you a drink!” Buck offered, “Red wine? And Whiskey?”

The father and daughter nodded and walked over to large bay windows to look outside while Buck grabbed their drinks. Just as Buck was pouring the wine, he waved Will over who had brought a six-pack of beer. Buck had told him with all the help he had done for free he was not allowed to bring any form of housewarming present.

“There is room in the fridge,” Buck told him, as he poured Marco his drink. “Cold beer in the ice bucket or I have whiskey?”

“I’m good with beer,” Dan replied, as he put the beer he brought into the fridge before grabbing one for himself from the ice bucket and open it up before downing half of it in one sip “By the way, I wanted to let you know that if the offer still stands I’ll take you up on being an investor in my new construction business,”.

“You are going to do it!” Buck exclaimed excitedly, “What changed your mind?”.

“Well, I don’t want to be a bartender forever. Plus doing all this work on the 117 really reminded me of how much I love the work,” Will explained, “Your offer to help made it a possibility, so I’m gonna do it. Give it my best shot,”.

“You’ll do great, Will,” Buck told him, ecstatic both for his friend and also for himself as he now had a friend who worked in construction.

“Thanks, Buck, I honestly could not have done it without you,” Will told him.

Buck smiled and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder before lifting up the drinks for Marco and Jesse. Just as he handed the door went again and this time it was Will who had turned up with a large box that was very badly wrapped in what looked to be baby shower wrapping paper.

Dan rushed over and helped Will lift into the kitchen island, where everyone had gathered around.

“Will, what have you got me?” Buck asked, knowing that it should not have mattered he told his friends they did not need to bring gifts.

“Open it,” Will replied with a shrug, in a very nonchalant manner.

Buck ripped the paper and pulled back the protective bubble-wrap to reveal a wooden sign that was at least two meters long and about half a meter wide and carved onto it were the words Buck’s Bar.

Snapping his head up suddenly, Buck stared at Will in shock.

“Marco helped with it,” Will told him, “But I cut and sanded the wood myself and carved the words. I know soon you’ll be a firefighter but I wanted something for your time as a bartender and I also know you were talking about a bar put in either in here or outdoors on the patio and I thought it would look nice above the bar,”.

“You made it?” Buck repeated, he could not believe the effort Will had gone for him. Buck felt he had done the right thing forging a closer friendship with Will this time around. He could not believe there had been a whole other life without him being friends with Will.

“As I said, Marco helped a lot,” Will repeated bashfully.

Buck gently put the sign down and threw his arms around Will in a massive hug. Will laughed, clearly uncomfortable and not used to being hugged, and then he hugged Buck tightly and I heard Buck whisper thank you over and over again.

“It’s amazing!” Buck said, breaking the hug and moving back over to the sign to look at it again.

“Fine, piece of craftsmanship,” Dan added, looking over Buck’s shoulder and reaching over and touching the smooth finish.

“First job, I officially hire you for is going to be a bar installation,” Buck grinned at Will, who grilled back as he began to think about all the possibilities of building a bar.

“It’s amazing,” Jesse added, “Will look amazing hung up, you’ll need to light it properly,”.

“We could do two spotlights on either side,” Will mused and quickly he and Jesse got caught up in conversation with Marco about how best to light it.

Buck turned back to Will, “Seriously, thank you, man. It’s amazing,”.

“Your welcome,” Will said, ducking his head down ever so slightly as to make himself smaller, “I don’t really have too many friends. I’ve stopped doing that. Letting people in and then you moved in and I didn’t think you’d be any different than the rest of the guys...but you were. So I guess it’s to say thank you for showing me it’s okay to trust people and let them in,”.

“I’m glad I met you, Will Andrews,” Buck smiled and he really meant it, he was so grateful to Will. He wondered how there had been a whole other life where he had let his friendship with Will pass by without him ever really knowing the man, “Now, let me grab you a drink to say thank you. Beer?”.

Will nodded, “Beer would be perfect,”.

Buck grabbed a beer and then he and Will rejoined the group. They all stand around talking and laughing and Buck is hit with a feeling of belonging for the first time since he woke up in the past. He may not be surrounded by his family, but the people around him were good decent people who he cared about and who he knew cared about him. Buck felt blessed that he had found these people and they had come into a time in his life that could have been really lonely but instead he had these amazing individuals.

Just as Jesse was telling a crazy hospital story that everyone was eating up, the door went once more. Buck excused himself to go and let his guests in. He walked over thinking he could not wait till he was a firefighter and was once again able to tell his badass firefighter stories. There had been several times, partially around Dan and Olly, that he had to stop himself from telling a story he had yet to live.

Buck buzzed up and greeted Olly and Keria who arrived together with a case of wine which Buck promptly scolded for as they had both already gotten him housewarming gifts. Keria scolded him and told him to crack open one of the bottles of white wine.

Keria got her wine and broke off to talk to Will and Dan to see if they were planning to live with roommates forever or if they would be in need of a realtor in the near future. Will seemed a lot more interested than Dan, but Buck knew that Will shrugged living with other people and desperately wanted his own space. There had been a moment that Buck had almost offered one of the spare bedrooms to the older man but he decided against it knowing that Maddie would not feel comfortable staying with a man she did not know. This whole place had been bought with the intention that one day Maddie would hopefully live here with him and hopefully by having here that would keep her safe from Doug when he showed up.

“You have a really nice place here, Buckley,” Olly commented looking around while he drank his beer, “Hell of a step up from our place,”.

“That it is,” Buck agreed, full of pride at the compliment for his home.

“How’s training?” Olly asked, “Can’t be long now till you are done? Actually fighting fires,”.

“It’s good, take my tests in a little over a month, can’t wait,” Buck replied, excited at the idea of being back at the 118 with his family fighting fires.

“How did you know?” Olly asked, and Buck looked back in confusion not understanding what he was being asked, “About fire fighting, you always seem so sure about it, like it’s your purpose, your calling...so how did you know?”.

“I don’t know...I travelled a lot...tried a lot of different jobs but nothing ever stuck. I would often fall back into bartending...Then I joined the LAFD and everything fell into place and it was like I had found what I was meant to do...It feels right,” Buck tried to explain.

“I don’t know if I'll ever find that,” Olly confessed, “I see you moving on and buying this place and Will is in Law school and now Dan is starting his business and I’m just a bartender...I don’t know what else I can do? I don’t have other skills...I don’t have anything…”.

Buck was shocked. He knew he had once felt just like Olly. Lost and with no purpose and with no self-belief in himself. It felt like another lifetime that he moved to LA and was so lost. Now he needed to find the words he would have said to himself and tell them to Olly with the hope that they would help him.

“You’ll find it,” Buck told him, speaking to Olly but also to his past self, “You’ll find your place, your purpose and you’ll look back on this time of your life with the knowledge that it was all worth it because it led you to where you are now. It will be worth it, I promise,”.

“Thanks, Buck,” Olly said, it seemed that Buck’s words had some form of effect. Buck just hoped he had helped.

“Have you met Jesse? Marco’s daughter,” Buck asked as Olly watched Jesse refilling her wine glass.

Olly shook his head, still looking at Jesse.

“Jesse,” Buck called her over, “This is my old roommate Oliver Wilson,”.

“Call me Olly,” he said with a shrug that was a little over the top. The nervous energy was palpable.

“Nice to meet you, Olly,” Jesse greeted with a kind smile, “Buck throws one hell of a party don’t you think,”.

“Wait till you try the pork,” Buck added.

“Buck, a good cook!” Olly exclaimed and Buck raised an eyebrow at how nervous his friend was. This was not Olly at all. Olly was a flirt and a charmer, this one was jumpy and uncool.
Jesse however laughed politely, “Can’t wait to try it,”.

“I should go and check on it, actually,” Buck said, as Buck walked away he actually heard Olly ask Jesse about her job in a normal voice which was good.

Buck grabbed the pork out of the oven, seeing that it was perfectly crispy outside and cooked all the way through. He let it rest and began to grab the rest of the food out and set it out on the island. As he did this he looked around the room to all the people who had helped him get here. They may not be the family that he craved, but they were still damn amazing friends and he felt lucky to have them. Buck knew these last months would have been impossibly lonely without them.

“Need a hand?”

Buck looked up to see Marco standing had walked over and was now standing on the other side of the island.

Buck smiled and nodded, “You can grab plates and cutlery, they are in that draw and the cupboard below,”.

Marco smiled and moved towards where Buck had gestured, “You seemed deep in thought then?”

“Just...appreciating everyone,” Buck admitted, setting out the side dishes, “Didn’t expect this...I feel lucky to have met such wonderful people,”.

“You are an odd one, Buck,” Marco told him, “You are not what you seem to be at all. You give off a much older vibe. It’s like you have lived longer than you look,”

Buck tried not to react to just how true that statement was, “Guess life experience can make you grow up faster,”.

“True,” Marco agreed, “I’ve seen that before, my Jesse grew up too fast after the death of her mother. It’s not the same with you...there is something you always keep hidden, just beneath the surface. You worry me sometimes, kid. Are you okay?”.

For a second Buck thought about telling Marco everything, “I’m fine, Marco. You don’t need to worry,”.

“Something tells me people always worry about you, Buck,” Marco replied.

Buck knew that was true, the worried faces of Maddie, Bobby and Eddie flashing through his mind.

“Thank you, for caring about me,” Buck told him, “I'm gonna be okay,”.

After then everyone came over and loaded up plates with all the amazing food that Buck had prepared. While they loaded them up Olly used his bartender skills to make sure everyone had a drink. Some sat on the stools on the island while others stood around the kitchen eating, talking and laughing. Everyone praised Buck’s cooking and despite Buck buying a joint of Pork that should have fed twenty within the hour they had finished it all.

“Right!” Jesse yelled, “I propose a toast to our host! Thank you for having us, Buck! This place looks amazing and I know that I speak for everyone when I say we look forward to many more nights with this! To Buck!”

“To Buck” Everyone toasted!

“Thank you guys so much!” Buck began, “I think the real toast should be to Keria for finding me this place and to Dan for all the amazing help. I knew from the moment I walked into the 117 that this was the place for me. My home, but I say this with complete certainty that I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you, so this…”

Buck toast or thank you speak was interrupted with the ringing of the intercom system. Buck checked his phone wondering who it could be.

“Damn, Dan we really need to put a light down there I can’t tell who it is,” Buck said.

“I’ll run down and see,” Dan offered, already making his way down.

“Probably another internet delivery,” Keria jokes.

“Seriously, Buck. Does Amazon even have stock left at this point,” Olly added.

“It’s quick, easy and convenient,” Buck justified, also thinking about the stocks he had in Amazon and how they were only going up in value in the coming years.

“Isn’t Amazon killing the small business industry?” Jesse argued, “I mean isn’t there that study that says by 2022, we will only buy things on amazon. Even our groceries,”.

Buck zoned out for a moment as the amazon argument began between everyone. He felt it was unfair of him to participate with his future knowledge.

“Buck,” Dan called from the other side of the room.

“Who was at the door?” Buck asked.

“She says she is your sister,” Dan said and Buck’s head snapped up and looked past Dan.

There standing in the 117 was his sister Maddie

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 - August.

“Hey Evan,” Maddie said with a small wave.

Buck just stared at her. He could not believe what he was seeing. Maddie was here. She looked good, so young to Buck. This was a thirteen year younger Maddie than the last time he had seen her. That was crazy. Still, she was here, early.

Originally Buck had not seen her for another year.

How was she here now?

Maddie was here. It did not really matter how or why. Not to Buck, at least not at that moment. Right now his sister was here and that was what mattered.

“Maddie,” Buck finally spoke and as he did he rushed forward and wrapped his sister up in the biggest hug. Maddie seemed to need the hug just as much as him and she clung to her little brother the same way he clung to her. Buck just hugged her, not wanting to ever let her go. She was here.

The pair just hugged neither one of them wanting to be the first to let go. Buck could feel the tears in his eyes fall. He was not on his own anymore, he finally had the first member of his family back. The first member of his family was back in his life.

“You’re here,” Buck whispered into her hair, not letting her go but he did move back so he could look at her again and see that she really was there.

Buck looked at his big sister. She had matching tears in her own eyes.

“Hello,” Maddie said as a tear rolled down her cheek but she quickly covered it with a smile and a laugh, “Sorry to crash your party!”

Buck suddenly remembered there were other people in the room but he still could not believe that his sister was her. He knew he had missed her but the full weight of that was now apparent.

“I’m just glad you are here,” Buck told her and Maddie smiled at him but he could see the pain in her eyes. She moved out of his arms to face the group of people.

“Hello, I’m Maddie,” she introduced, “Buck’s sister, nice to meet you all,”.

Everyone waved and greeted each other.

Buck stood next to Maddie, “Right, so we have Marco my boss and his daughter Jesse, then next to them is Will and then Olly, my old roommates, and his sister Keria and you met Dan,”

“Lovely to meet you, Maddie,” Marco said in a kind and welcoming manner that Buck hoped would soothe Maddie.

“Do you want a drink?” Olly asked, pointing over a makeshift bar.

“Wine wine?” Maddie asked and Olly nodded and began to grab her drink.

“Did you just arrive in LA?” Buck asked, knowing he needed to pretend like he did not know why she was here and that this was a shock, which to be fair it was he knew she would make her way to LA but arriving this early was a surprise.

“Literally, been on the road all day,” Maddie confirmed.

“Let’s get you some food then,” Buck replied, already grabbing a plate and loading it up.

“Yep, please this all looks amazing,” Maddie agreed and as Olly handed her a large glass of white wine.

“Shame you missed the pork,” Keria added, as Buck handed her a plate of food and she dug in, “Your brother will have to make it for you while you are here, one of the best things I haven’t eaten,”.

“You made all this?” Maddie asked, the shock apparent.

“Buck’s an amazing cook,” Olly chipped in as he handed Buck a beer.

“Seriously?” Maddie asked, “This is amazing! You cook! You are a homeowner! You’ve grown up little brother! Sorry I missed it,”.

Buck could hear the apology for what was, an apologise for being absent from his life for the last two years so he told her in a soft voice, “You’re here now, that’s all that matters,”.

“And your amazing place! Seriously, Evan, this place! It’s incredible,” Maddie gushed.

“Thank you,” Keria said seriously which Maddie looked confused at so Buck explained.

“Keria here is my estate agent so she is taking credit for this place, well deserved I might add,” Buck told her, “Though some should go to Dan...where is he?”

“He went to put Maddie’s bag’s upstairs,” Keria told him, “He’ll know which room is Maddie’s,”.

“My room?” Maddie asked, “I have a room,”.

“First time we came here Buck walked into one of the guest bedrooms and immediately called it your room,” Keria told Maddie.

“Really?” Maddie asked, turning to her brother. Buck had thought about how that would sound to Maddie. He had known she would end up here but she did not know that. That would seem like a crazy thing to do.

“What can I say?” Buck replied, trying to play it off casually, “Kind of hoped you would make your way here eventually,”.

“I’m only flying through town,” Maddie said seriously, “A couple of days,”.

“We’ll see,” Buck smiled at her, there was no way he was letting Maddie go off running with Doug after her. LA was her home just as much as it was his. Her future was here. She just did not know she had just arrived in the city that would change her life. The city that held her future.

Maddie just stared at him as if she was trying to figure him out.

“The room’s amazing!” Jesse added, “I helped pick out the bedding! You’ll have the best night's sleep!”.

The mention of sleep had Maddie yawning.

“Think that’s our cue guys,” Marco said with a clap of his hands and people nodded and got up.

“You don’t need to end the party for me!” Maddie protested.

“It’s nearly midnight, this party is coming to an end anyway,” Jesse chipped in.

“Before Olly suggests we start on tequila,” Dan added.

Buck thanked everyone for coming and there was a rush of people hugging goodbye and Buck stopping Will from trying to tidy up. It took about another half an hour for everyone to leave with the amount of thank you and goodbyes and plans made for the following week

Finally, it was just Buck and Maddie.

“Come on, I’ll show you your room,” Buck told her and she followed him up upstairs.

“Not going to lie to you, I find your lift creepy,” Maddie said just as Buck pulled down the door.

“It’s original!” Buck defended but then added, “You get used to it,”.

They walked out the lift and Buck showed her into the room in the far back corner. He opened the door and let Maddie walk in first. The L shaped bedroom had been done up with Maddie in mind. He had added the queen-sized bed with bedside tables on either side that both had those rock lamps that gave the room a cosy orange flow, Dan must have switched them on when he dropped off the bags that were sat by the end of the bed. There was a large empty chest of draws and vanity. Buck’s favourite bit was the corner of the L which he had added a floor lap, large armchair and small bookshelf.

Maddie walked over and picked up a photo frame that was on the chest of draws, it was a teenage Maddie and Buck as a small child.

“It was the only photo I had of us,” Buck confessed, “We’ll have to take another photo while you are here,”.

Buck saw her wipe a tear away before she turned around with a smile on her face, “Thank you, this room is lovely,”.

Buck just nodded, “Right...you have your own bathroom across the hall...towels and everything you need should be in there. You’ll be the first to use it,”.

“Thanks, I could really do with a shower…” Maddie said, there had been a clear shift and now things were awkward. It was clear there was so much they both wanted to say, but neither knew where to begin.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Buck said as he backed out of the room.

He heard Maddie thank him just as he closed the door. Buck closed his eyes and let his body rest against the wall for just a minute. Just a minute to get himself together. Then made his way downstairs and began to tidy up from the party. He shoved all the plates and glasses in the dishwasher and set it off before he filled up the sink with hot soapy water to soak the serving dishes. He had been planning to leave this till the morning, but it gave him something to focus on rather than just worrying about his sister.

This was wrong, Maddie was not meant to show up for almost a year. This was not what happened the first time Buck has lived this. On one hand, he was really happy to have his sister in his life. Seeing Maddie had reminded him that everything was real and he had not gone crazy. Also, he had hated that she had been trapped with Doug. There had been so many times he had wanted to drive and get her away from that monster. She is here now, months early and that was time away from Doug. Maddie had been saved from those months at least.

However, it did also worry Buck that she was here early. It meant things were not just going to happen the same. This had changed and now he wondered what else would be different. What else would change? He was also worried about what this meant for Doug, would it take him longer to find her this time. This 117 was such a security dream. State of the line security. However Doug was smart, the first time he had gone through a whole scheme of a befriending Chimney. Buck knew he needed to be careful and keep his sister safe.

Keeping Maddie safe is the most important thing.

Buck had cleaned up most of the mess from the party and realised it had been nearly forty minutes since he had left Maddie upstairs. He made her some hot chocolate and decided he would take it up for her.

Buck knocked on the door.

“Come in,” he heard her yell.

He walked in to see Maddie on the bed with wet hair, wearing pyjama bottoms and an old college sweatshirt. He still could not get over how young she looked. It was weird seeing his big sister looking so young. With the time travel, they were around the same age mentally, that was trickly. Could he have technically been alive longer?

He handed her the hot chocolate and sat on the end of her bed, making himself comfortable.

“Thank you,” Maddie said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate, “Amazing shower, by the way, that rain showerhead...life-changing,”.

“You have Dan to thank for that.” Buck told her, “He insisted it would be worth it,”.

“He was right,” Maddie confirmed, “This whole place is amazing. I can’t believe it, the life you have made. I’m so proud of you, Evan,”.

“Thanks,” Buck said, ducking his head down, “So you got my postcards?”

“I did, I couldn’t believe it when you said you’d bought a place! Had to come to see it for myself,” Maddie explained.

“Was that the only reason?” Buck asked, knowing he would need to prompt her to tell him she had left Doug like he assumed that she had. The same as last time, “Where’s Doug?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Maddie said, not looking him in the eye.

“You left him?” Buck asked, knowing they had this conversation before and trying to remember what he had said, “Finally,”.

“You never did like him, even as a teenager you saw him for what he really was,” Maddie said and Buck could see the tears beginning to form.

“Did he hurt you?” Buck asked, wanting to reach out physically to comfort her but knowing she would need her space.

Maddie nodded.

“You should stay here. You’ll be safe,” Buck told her.

Maddie shook her head, “I’m not bringing my little brother into this,”.

“Mads, I’m in this,” Buck told her, “Besides, standing between you and whoever is trying to hurt you...that’s exactly where I want to be,”.

Buck watched the tears fall from his sister’s eyes. At that moment he was worried about what he would do if he saw Doug this time around.

“You should stay,” he repeated.

“I can’t...he told me that if...that if I ever left him...he’d kill me and I really believe that he meant that. He’s going to try and come after me,” Maddie told him, she sounded so small and so lost.

“He doesn’t know I’m in LA right? Or what do I do for a living?” Buck asked.

“No, it’s a real benefit to being married to someone who never asks questions, never takes an interest,” Maddie confessed.

“So you stay here,” Buck told her, “Now is not the time to be alone, so you should stay here. I’m so proud of you for leaving him,”

Maddie cried and Buck leaned over and grabbed her hand, not wanting to hug her till she was ready.

“Stay here. I clearly have the room, I mean this whole room is yours. I hope that...you’d find your way here. We’d end up back together again. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. How lonely I’ve been,”

“Your friends all seem really nice,” Maddie said through her tears.

“They are, but they aren’t family,” Buck confessed, “I’m glad you are here, it was getting pretty lonely around here,”.

“I missed you too,” Maddie said before setting the hot chocolate aside and throwing her arms around her not-so-little brother.

Buck hugged her back, he could feel that she was still crying but she would be already. He had her now. Maddie was back and he would keep her safe.

It was a week later and Buck was happy having Maddie living with him. He had loved the 117 before but having Maddie live there with him and truly made it into a home. They had not talked about jobs or anything yet, but Buck knew she would always find her way to being a 911 operator, it was her calling in life, the same way that his was firefighting.

Maddie had been coming to work with him at the bar and helping out by cleaning tables, despite not being paid, but Buck was happy to have her there. The less time she was alone the better, which is why he was happy that Dan was setting up shop for his construction business on the ground floor of the 117. Maddie had been happy being home alone, especially with the state of the art security system, but it would still make Buck happier knowing that Dan was around when he was not. At least until Doug was no longer a problem.

This is why Buck was in the police precincts waiting for Athena. He had dropped by and was hoping he would get a chance to talk to her.

“Evan Buckley, this is a surprise,” Athena said as she walked into the lobby, not dressed in her uniform but in her casual clothes.

“Sargent Grant!” Buck greeted, “Am I catching you before a shift or after?”

“Just clocked out,” Athena told him, “Caught me just in time, how can I help you today?”

“Let me buy you a cup of coffee?” Buck said, “If that's okay? I need some help, It’s kind of a delicate situation,”.

Buck knew Athena would agree, her need to help people was too strong.

“Okay,” She agreed, just like Buck thought she would, “There is a nice place, less than half a block,”.

Ten minutes later they sat inside a nice cafe with two steaming cups of hot coffee in front of them.

“How can I help you, Buck?” Athena asked, this was the first time she had called him Buck without him prompting her. Buck tried not to get emotional over that.

“My sister has just arrived into town, I haven’t seen her in...years,” Buck confessed, “She had this husband, Doug. Real piece of work. Not a nice guy. She’s left him, finally and now she is scared. Really scared,”.

Athena nodded, picking up on what Buck was saying without saying it.

“She can't fire a restraining order because then she would know where she is, but the thing is...he’s going to come after her. I know it and he’s dangerous Athena,” Buck told her, knowing if anyone could help him with this it would be her.

“When you say dangerous?” Athena asked.

“He’ll kill her if he finds her,” Buck said bluntly, hoping that I would show Athena how serious he was.

“Does he know your address?” Athena asked.

“No, he doesn’t know anything about me, not what I do or even that I live in LA,” Buck told her, “But he will find her. I know he will,”.

“How do you know?” Athena asked, “You seem very sure?”

Buck wanted to groan, he could not just say because he had already lived it. He knew because this was the second time he was living all this and there was no way he was just going to sit back and let that man anywhere near his sister again. That was not happening. Doug was never going to go anywhere near his sister if Buck had anything to do about it.

“Every instinct is my body is telling me he is coming for her and she is my sister, my family. The only family I have,” Buck told Athena, “I need to keep her safe,”.

“Are your instincts usually right, Buckley?” Athena asked.

Buck nodded, “I need Maddie, Safe,”.

Athena smiled, “You are a good brother, Buck. I’ll see what I can do...do you have some details about the ex-husband?”

Buck grabbed a folded piece of paper out of his pocket, “Name, Date of birth, social security number and last known address,”.

“Detailed,” Athena commented, “I’ll look him up in the system, the best thing to do would be to try and convince your sister to take out the restraining order. We’d be able to track him better, work with his local authority and know if he steps out of state and into LA,”

Buck nodded, he thought the same but knew it would be a hard sell to Maddie. To him Doug was going to find her anyway and if a resigning order would help keep her safe.

“I’ve got a great home security system,” Buck told Athena, “I’m trying to keep someone with her as much as possible. I put my address on there as well, that way if anyone ever calls 911 from that address maybe you flag it?”

“Of course,” Athena agreed, “Happy to help,”.

“There is one other thing, Maddie...I don’t think she will listen to me about the restraining order. I’m her kid brother,” Buck explained, “She is new to LA, she doesn’t know anyone. You're a cop and know what you are talking about...I was wondering if maybe you’d come over one day and talk to her,”.

Athena paused at this, she was looking at this kid in front of her who was trying everything he could to keep his sister safe. She admired that. She also got the impression that he needed to be taken seriously.

“I can talk to her,” Athena offered with a nod.

“Amazing, my number is on there as well,” Buck told her, “Whenever you are free! I can even cook if you want to come for dinner or breakfast, I'm very good at breakfast foods,”.

“You cook?” Athena asked, home cook was not the impression she had got from Buck, the vibe she had gotten was more instant ramen.

“I had a great teacher,” Buck told her, “Taught me everything I know, you’d love him,”.

Athena nodded and took a sip of her coffee.

“Thank you for doing this, for helping,” Buck told her, “Maddie is the only family I have,”.

“I’m happy to help, Buck,” Athena replied, “You’re a good brother,”.

Buck felt so much lighter after his meeting with Athena. He trusted Athena completely and even though she did not know him, he knew that he could rely on her to help keep his sister safe. Athena took her oath to serve and protect seriously and she was an amazing police officer who would go above and beyond to keep people safe. Her commitment to the job was similar to Buck’s own. He was glad she was on the side in keeping Maddie safe. With Athena’s help, Buck felt better about the whole situation. He was still worried for his sister but less so now.

He made his way back to the 117, happier and lighter than he had been in a while. He had two of his family members back in his life. Athena and Maddie were back. It was only a matter of time before the rest of his family was back. He was no longer alone, he had family again.

Buck drove into the 117 and parked his jeep in the open space, next to Dan’s new truck he had traded his car in for. It was old and run down, but was massive and had a large bed in the back. At Buck parked the jeep he saw Maddie and Dan setting up the new office space for Dan’s new business.

Buck had to admit it looked a lot better than when he had left for training that morning. They was now a fully made desk and chair all set up, along with a storage unit that was going to store all of Dan’s tools. There was also a shelving unit that had a Bluetooth speaker and a couple of little nick-nacks that were most likely Maddie’s idea. Dan and Maddie had clearly been hard at work.

“Wow, look at this,” Buck said as he jumped out of the jeep and made his way over to his friend and sister.

“Looks good right!” Maddie praised, smiling at Dan, “Like a proper little start-up,”.

“Yep, we are basically Apple or Amazon,” Buck joked about other companies that had gotten their start in garages, he was sure none as nice as this.

“Thank you again for letting me use this space, man,” Dan said for what must have been the tenth time since Buck had gotten him to accept.

“No worries, happy to help,” Buck brushed off like normal, truth be told it was a selfish endeavour as having Dan around meant that Maddie was not alone as much, “It’s not like I don't have the space,”.

“True,” Dan agreed, “You’re gym stuff arrives next week?”

“Yep,” Buck nodded, the bottom floor was finally coming together, the office would go in the back left corner and the gym in the back right. There was still plenty of space to park at least four cars and have a decent space between the office and the gym for a workstation for Dan to build things, “You’re gonna get it all set up as your first official job right?”.

“That’s the plan,” Dan agreed, “I’ve already cancelled my gym membership so I’m excited to have a gym right next to my place of work,”.

“I can beat that I have a gym where I live,” Maddie one-upped.

“You guys realise this is my gym right?” Buck jokes, of course, he was more than happy to have his sister and friend use it.

“Dan said you're getting a ring?” Maddie asked.

“Thinking about getting a small one,” Buck said with a shrug, “We have the space, maybe that could be a second business? Buckley boxing?”

“Maybe stick to one business venture at a time little brother?” Maddie suggested.

“Fair point,” Buck said with a shrug, thinking they should properly focus on the business they were just starting, not that Buck has much to do with it other than providing the office space and investing. Maddie had thrown herself into helping Dan get it set up, like before she had wanted to go back into nursing but this time around Buck had no connections to the 911 operators. Maybe he should look into searching out Josh and befriending him, he knew he had been an amazing friend to Maddie the first time around, “How are you feeling, Danny-boy?”

“Excited, nervous…” Dan answered, “Still think you are completely crazy for investing all this in me. I could run this whole thing into the ground within the month, that’s what my parents would say,”.

“Hey!” Maddie said, moving to step in front of him, “None of that. Buck has told me how amazing you were through getting the 117 all setup and how he couldn’t have done it without you. Screw what your parents think. I believe you can do this,”.

“Thank you, Maddie,” Dan said with a small smile.

“She’s right,” Buck echoed, Maddie had really said it all but he felt he should add something to ease his friend’s worries, “Maddie’s always right. You have the skills and the knowledge, Keria has clients ready for you. You are meeting with friends of yours tomorrow, to see if they want to sign on and work for you. Marco is helping you with the books. You got this,”.

“You think?” Dan asked, nervously.

“You have us as well,” Maddie reminded with a nod, “I’m happy to help. Speaking of which, the guy is coming round tomorrow at ten to fit the phone line,”.

“I meant to meet up with some guys to see about working for me then,” Dan said.

“I know, which is why I’ll be here to get it all set up,” Maddie told him.

“Thank you. Don’t know what I’d do without your help,” Dan told her, “You really should let me pay you for the time, you should be the first employee of Murry’s construction,”.

“I’m happy to help,” Maddie replied, “It’s keeping me busy,”.

“Right!” Buck introduced, “Who wants some dinner? I'm thinking of lasagna?”

“Oh yeah!” Dan agreed.

“Sounds good,” Maddie echoed.

Buck had just got back from training and was driving home to the 117. Buck loved driving home, it gave him such a rush and excitement to come home to his firehouse and his sister. I remembered the first time he had felt that excitement in coming home. It was Eddie’s house, years before he had lived there officially and even years before they had started dating. It was around the time of the 2020 paramedic and he had begun spending more and more of his free time at the Diaz house. He had spent time there before but it was never this much. At this point, he had not been able to go and see his sister or go to the gym and all that time had been replaced by going to Eddie’s.

He remembered he had been working a long twenty-four-hour shift that had ended up being closer to thirty hours due to the last call being a big one. It was mid-morning by the time he got into his jeep and began driving home, it was nearly a quarter of an hour into the drive that he realised he was not driving back to his loft but to Eddie’s instead. He had just begun to drive there without thinking. The rest of the drive he had been filled with excitement at going home to Eddie and Christopher. When he arrived both Diazs had greeted him with hugs and happiness at seeing him and for the first time in his life, he truly felt at home.

Driving back to the 117 was similar to that. After losing his home and his family so suddenly when waking up in the past it was nice to finally have a little part of that back. It might not be the home he had shared with Eddie and Chris but it was still a home he was going to. A home where his sister would be waiting for him.

Buck waved at Dan who was driving out just as he pulled into the ground floor of the firehouse. Having Dan there during the day made Buck feel so much better about leaving Maddie. Buck parked the jeep and quickly made his way upstairs to find Maddie unloading the dishwasher.

“Hey Mads,” Buck greeted, grabbing a drink out the fridge and sitting down at the island.

“How was training?” Maddie asked as she put away the last of the dishes.

“Good,” Buck answered, “Feel ready to take the test now. Not long now,”.

“Still can’t believe you are going to be a firefighter,” Maddie gushed, “My little brother, saving lives,”.

“LA’s finest,” Buck told her.

“You’ve grown up so much,” Maddie told him, already getting emotional, “You were such a lost kid last time I saw you and now it’s like you are this completely different person,”.

“A lot happened,” Buck replied, thinking about how different he must seem to Maddie. He was almost fifteen years older than the last time she had seen him, even if for her it had only been closer to three years.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around,” Maddie said, “I didn’t mean…”.

“It’s okay, Mads,” Buck told her, “You're here now. That is the most important thing. I got my sister back,”.

Maddie made her way around the island to hug her little brother, “I’m sorry I left you alone for so long,”.

Buck nodded pulling Maddie close, “I missed you. I just want to make you proud,”.

“I am...so proud...and stunned,” Maddie confessed, not ready to let go of her brother, “You are doing amazing,”.

“Love you, Maddie,”

“Love you too, Evan,”.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11 - September

Buck started September with a smile on his face. This was the last month before he joined the 118. His first day was weeks away. He would finally have two pieces of his life back, his job and a good portion of his family back.

Buck missed working, he had once said that firefighting and the job was the only thing he had, his whole life. That had not been in the case in quite some time. Ever since Eddie had sat him down and told him he wasn’t expendable and his view had shifted. Buck had a family in Eddie and Christopher, people who relied on him to come home, people who needed him and wanted him around. That is not to say that job was not still important to him, he loved his job, he loved helping people. It just was not the thing he loved the most. He loved being a firefighter but he loved Eddie more.

Still, without Eddie in his life, he was excited to get back to the other love of his life, helping people and saving the day. Buck knew that he loved the feeling that came with a heroic rescue. That what he did mattered and he made people’s lives better. He helped people. That feeling he got was like a drug and he had been craving it for so long as of late. He had been itching to get back in the game, back to work. It had been a long seven months since he had woken up in the past and finally, he was getting a little piece of his life back.

Marco had insisted he begin to cut back on shifts so he had time to focus on exams, despite Buck insisting that it was fine, the older man would not hear it and now Buck was down to two shifts a week. However, the bar had become a kind of the go-to spot for their little group so Buck was still there multiple times a week. Olly and Dan were there as well most nights when Olly was not working the late shift at his own bar, though he was trying to talk Marco into hiring him to replace Buck when he stopped working to be a full-time firefighter. Jesse and Keira would turn up at least one night a week when their busy schedule would allow and Maddie had even come with Buck a few times, slowly getting more and more comfortable in LA.

It was nice to have a group of friends again. Buck always felt grateful that they had come into life when they had.

Dan’s business was taking off quicker than any of them had expected.

Dan had installed the gym on the ground floor of the 117 and was now building Buck’s new bar. On top of that, he had also taken on a kitchen and bathroom remodel for a client of Keira.

Murray Construction had hired four more people. Jackson, Liam and Eric were construction workers and a receptionist in Maddie. Maddie had taken the job, finally and agreed to be paid for the work she was already doing, but only with the insistence that this was temporary. Still, Dan and Maddie were a dream team, working effortlessly together and Buck was glad Maddie had something to keep her busy but also allowed her to work from home.

So September began with being settled and new opportunities on the horizon for everyone.

“Morning Buck” Dan greeted as normal he let himself into the main room of the 117 where Buck was in the kitchen making breakfast as usual.

“Hey, Dan!” Buck replied as Dan walked over, “You just arrived?”

“Nah, I was here for seven, wanted to get a headstart on things,” Dan said as he helped himself to a cup of coffee and also refilled Buck’s, “Bar should be done by the end of the week, you’ll just need to stock it,”.

“Amazing, did Marco stop by and have a look?” Buck asked as he flipped the bacon.

“He did, he was impressed with the work and gave me some great advice,” Dan replied, “Was happy with our decision to make the bar match Will’s sign,”.

“Morning boys,” Maddie greeted as she walked in. Buck had noticed that she was feeling a lot happier after her talk with Athena and the official restraining order being filed against Doug. She seemed lighter.

“Morning Maddie,” They both replied as Dan grabbed her a perfectly made coffee.

“So the plan is to get it fully set up on Wednesday so we just need your final placement,” Dan said as he handed Maddie the coffee.

“Thank you, Dan,” Maddie said sweetly.

“You're welcome, Maddie,” Dan replied, with a smile.

“I think where we originally said on the back wall in between the kitchen and the living area. Then when I finally buy a dining room table it can go in front of it in the main space,” Buck explained.

“Sounds good,” Dan nodded.

“Speaking of the dining room table,” Maddie added, “Keira was telling me about this great estate sale she knows about, she thinks you’ll be able to find the size of table you want there,”.

“That’s awesome!”

“She said she’s happy to show us on Sunday,” Maddie told him, “I still don’t know why you are insisting on such a large table,”,

“I just want enough room for everyone,” Buck insisted.

“The tables you showed me could clearly fit twenty people,” Maddie argued, “You don’t have that many friends,”.

“Maybe I will do,” Buck argued back, thinking of the people he was so close to remeeting and having back in his life.

The three then all sat down for breakfast and talked mostly about Murray construction and the next projects they would be taking on. One of the last major things that needed doing at the 117 was sorting out the outdoor space and on top of that Keira had really come through and Dan had several appointments with people who had just bought their first property from her and there was work that needed to be done.

“So on Monday, you’ll go with the guys to finish the bathroom remodel,” Maddie told Dan, “Then Tuesday you have an appointment with new clients in the morning which we will go to together. We have Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday set aside for you to finish and set the bar set up here,”.

“Sounds good,” Dan agreed.

“We also need to look at adding at least three more guys to the payroll with the amount of work we already have booked till November,”.

“You guys are doing amazing,” Buck praised, “This was such a good idea of mine,”

“Don’t take too much credit,” Dan teased.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take just the right amount,” Buck retorted as he stood up, “Got to head out. Said I’ll meet Will before I head to training. Bye guys,”.

Buck heard them shout goodbye as he left the room and made his way downstairs and jumped into the jeep. Just as he was about to pull out the firehouse door he realised his phone was still on charge in the kitchen.

Buck sighed and jumped back out of the jeep and made his way all the way back upstairs to grab his phone. He hoped he was not late meeting Will, the man hated it when Buck was late.

He walked into the main room and Dan and Maddie were no longer sitting at the bar but were now in the kitchen kissing.

Buck blinked and looked again.

Buck stopped.

Dan was kissing Maddie.

Maddie was kissing Dan back.

Dan was pressing her against the counter of the kitchen where he had just prepared them breakfast.

“Ah!” Buck screamed, causing the pair to leap away from each other and a squeal of a shock to come out of Dan, “What the hell is this?”

“Hey Evan,” Maddie greeted, trying to pretend like she had not just been caught kissing her sort of boss, “We thought you left,”.

“Clearly,” Buck said, deadpanned as he was still in shock, “I left my phone,”.

“Here you go, mate,” Dan said, passing it over the breakfast bar to him, “Listen, Buck…”

Buck just stared and took the phone off him.

“I’ve got to go,” Buck said.

“Evan” Maddie pleaded, but Buck was already gone and out of the door by the time she had finished saying his name.

Buck ran down to his jeep and quickly drove away. After a minute he pulled to the side of the road and let his head drop down on the steering wheel of his jeep.

This could not have happened.

Maddie should not be kissing Dan.

She belonged with Chimney.

Chimney was the great love of Maddie’s life.

Buck knew that with every fibre of his being. Maddie had found her happiness, her happily ever after with Chimney. The two had been ridiculously perfect for each other and Buck had been happy for them, maybe grossed out at times but happy nonetheless. He had accepted that his friend Chimney was the man for his sister quickly and never looked back. They complimented each other and most importantly trusted each other. Like him and Eddie, they were partners who had each other’s back. Through the good and the bad times.

It was Maddie and Chim, they just worked. Had clicked from the start. There had been a spark during their first meeting that even Buck had seen. An instant connection and attraction. Maddie had once told him that meeting Chim had changed her life completely and before him she had never imagined that she would get to have the happiness she found with him. Buck had mocked her but also hugged her and told her how much she deserved it.

Buck had watched them grow as a couple and had been so happy when they had finally got together properly after all the drama with Doug. Their honeymoon period had been sweet and it had made Buck so happy to see his sister finally settled in a relationship with some who treated her right. Then they had their first kid Jee-Yun, things had been difficult after that but they supported each other and Chimney helped Maddie and eventually things got better. After that was their wedding. Buck did not think he had ever seen his sister that happy before. He and Albert had teamed up to send them on a honeymoon just the two of them while the uncles got some quality time to spoil their niece. That had been a wild ten days.

Two more kids, boys this time, had followed in the next three years after the wedding and Buck had seen his sister and Chim truly thrive with their little family of five. Naturally, Buck adored all of their kids and loved being fun Uncle Buck who could pick all of them up at once. Buck had seen the next ten years of Maddie's life play out and she had finally got the happiness she deserved. Maddie had been happy. Chim had made her happy.

Maddie had also made Chimney happy as well. Before Maddie Chim had been a lot like Buck. He had been alone, constantly falling for the wrong people. Buck had to give credit to Chimney that it had not taken him over ten years to finally make a move like it had with him and Eddie. Buck had worked with Chimney every day for years and seen how much he had grown. Buck had watched him become a husband and a father and thrive in both roles. There was no one in the world that was a better fit for his sister, in Buck’s opinion.

Only now she was kissing Dan. Dan Murray. His friend Dan. Dan the builder.

Buck’s mind was broken.

This was not meant to happen.
This could not happen.

Maddie was meant to be with Chimney not Dan.

Buck liked Dan. He was a good man and a great friend. He was great. He just was not the man for his sister. Buck had already met that man. That position had already been filled.

Maddie belonged with Chimney.

Only there was no Chimney. Buck had not met him yet. So he had not introduced him to Maddie. Instead, he had introduced Dan.

Dan was lovely and also quite attractive.

This was clearly all Buck’s fault. He had basically set them. Oh God, he had pushed the idea of them working together and wanted them to spend time together so that Maddie would not be alone with Doug alive and on the loose.

What had he done?

What did this mean?

Would Maddie and Chimney not end up together now? Would Maddie marry Dan? Had he erased the existence of his niece and nephew?

Was this all because he had sent the postcard to Maddie. That had caused her to leave Doug earlier and arrive in LA months before she had originally the first time Buck had lived this. Now she had fallen into the arms of another man. A man who was not Chimney.

Buck was panicking. He was freaking out. Had he just changed his whole future with one action? Was this the butterfly effect in action? He had sent Maddie a postcard and now his nieces and nephews would never be born. What would be the effects of Maddie dating Dan? What could this change?

Buck entered the 117 that evening, nervous about what he would find. He had been replaying the scene from this morning over and over in his head all day. He had not stopped thinking about what he had changed and what the ramification would be because of it. What had Maddie and Chim’s relationship led to? Obviously, there were the kids. There was also Albert. Buck remembered that Maddie had been the one to talk Chim into letting Albert into his life. This time around that might not happen. Buck loved Albert, he was like a little brother to him. They had lived together and loved being the pair of fun uncles. This time around there could be no Albert.

Oh No.

If Albert was never around that would mean he would never meet May and if he never met May then that would mean that they would never have Callie.

This was a disaster. How many lives had been lost because he had sent a postcard?

“Hey, Evan?” Buck’s head whipped around to see Maddie curled up in one of the armchairs she had been texting on her phone. Buck wondered if it had been Dan.

“Hey Mads,” Buck greeted, sitting down in the chair next to her.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Maddie offered as a clear olive branch.

“Sorry for overreacting,” Buck mumbled, poor Maddie did not understand why this would upset him so much.

“We should have told you,” Maddie responded.

“How long has this been going on?” Buck asked.

“Not long,” Maddie said quickly, “A few weeks...I didn’t...It wasn’t…”

“It’s okay, Mads,” Buck relented, feeling bad for his sister.

“I didn’t plan this. Honestly, I never expected this. It’s barely been two months since I've left Doug. Dating was so far off my radar,” Maddie explained, “I was not thinking about dating ever,”.

“But…”

“But Dan I were working together and he’s so different from Doug and I don’t just mean the accent,” Maddie added, “He’s nice and sweet and funny. He also doesn’t treat me like I've broken. He’s normal with me. He just looks at me like I'm normal,”.

“So…”.

“So I found myself getting a crush,” Maddie confessed, “You can’t blame me, I mean look at him...he’s hot and that British charm. But that’s all it was a crush, but you know Dan he’s naturally flirty, he’s a charmer. So I flirted back...Just a little...and then we were setting up the office downstairs and we kissed...It was nice. I haven’t been kissed like that in a really long time, Evan,”.

“Maddie,” Buck said softly.

“It was a really good kiss,” Maddie giggled before sobering up, “I freaked out after. Dan was lovely. He was sweet. He told me there was no pressure and we could pretend it never happened….but he told me he really liked me and if maybe I didn’t want to pretend...he said we could take it slow, really slow. Just keep it light. No pressure and that we could go at my speed, that I could set the rules,”.

Buck sighed, “Well, that’s really sweet,”.

“It was Buck!” Maddie gushed, “Also having that control was good for me. I lost so much control it felt like I was taking a part of it back. That I was getting a part of myself back. I like the Maddie I am with Dan,”.

“Are you happy?” Buck asked, knowing that was all he really wanted for his sister.

“He makes me laugh,”. Maddie shrugged, “He makes me feel normal, I haven’t felt normal in a really long time,”.

“Then I'm happy for you,” Buck said and tried to mean what he said.

Athena was drunk in his bar. Buck sighed. She had turned up nearly an hour ago and sat and drank a whole bottle of wine and now she was drunk. Buck wasn’t sure when she had gotten the second bottle but clearly, she had and now she was drunk. It was a Friday night and the bar was packed so he had lost track of her. Plus Athena was a grown woman so he did not think he needed to watch her drinks. If there was one thing Athena Grant was it was capable.

Buck had seen Athena tipsy before many times over the years at several family events but drunk...that had happened only a handful of times. Chim and Maddie’s Wedding but they had all been pretty wasted that night. Oh no that night may never happen now. There had been a birthday party she had had one too many of an empty stomach and Bobby had had to carry her into the house that night. Other than that Buck did not think he had ever seen her drunk. He had certainly never seen her this drunk in a public space. She was currently stumbling her way to the bathroom and Buck watched her go in.

He needed to get her home. It was near the end of the night the bar itself was still pretty busy but people had stopped ordering drinks so Will could manage the bar on his own and there were also two waitresses on, two sisters Angie and Laura whose mother was a friend of Marco’s.

“Will! I’m going to talk to Marco! See if he minds me leaving early to get my friend home! She’s too drunk to get home herself. Will you keep an eye on her if she leaves the bathroom and makes sure she doesn’t leave?” Buck asked.

Will nodded and Buck rushed upstairs.

“Hey Marco, I’ve got a favour to ask!” Buck said as he walked into the office/storeroom.

Marco stopped what he was doing and looked over at the worry on Buck’s face.

“My friend Athena is here. Do you remember me mentioning her? She helped with Maddie?” Buck asked.

“The cop?” Marco asked.

Buck nodded, “She’s drunk. Really drunk and that’s not like her. Do you mind if I take off early and get her home. I’m worried about her,”.

“Of course, you go. I’m happy to go down and help if needed,” Marco said kindly, “You get your friend home safe,”.

“Thank you, Marco,” Buck said, incredibly grateful for how understanding the man was.

“Not at all,” Marco waved off Buck’s thanks, “Your friend needs you, you go,”.

Buck ran downstairs yelling his thanks once again and walked back into the bar just as Athena left the bathroom. Buck quickly made his way over to her.

“Hey, Athena!” Buck greeted happily, trying to keep it light and hoping she would be easy to get home.

“Buck!” Athena greeted happily, “What a surprise!”

It was not a surprise Buck had spoken to her several times that night and sold her the first bottle of wine, “I know! I was thinking we should get you home?”

“No!” Athena said, her face scrunched up at the idea.

“Come on, can we go for a drive in my jeep then?” Buck asked, thinking maybe she would say yes to that.

Athena nodded and Buck led her out of the bar. Waving goodbye to Will who waved back. Buck thought he should text Will to take the tips that he had left behind the bar as a thank you for closing up without Buck.

Athena stumbled quite a bit before so Buck wrapped an arm around to steady her as he led her to the Jeep. It took a little effort to get her in but eventually they managed it and Buck shut the door and made his way to the driver seat just before he got in Athena opened the door and got out.

Buck sighed and made his way over where she had stumbled a few feet from the Jeep.

“Athena, you need to stay in the car, okay?” Buck said as he tried to lead her back.

“Buckaroo!” Athena cried and Buck’s heart nearly exploded at the use of the familiar nickname. It had been so long since anyone had called him that. However, now was not the time for that.

“Hey Athena, let’s get in the car okay?” Buck asked.

Athena nodded and Buck repeated the process of getting her into the bar and her seatbelt on and this time he made his way quickly to the driver's seat so he could lock the doors. He grabbed a bottle of water from his gym back that hopefully was not too old and handed it to Athena who drank it without complaint.

Buck began driving and said, “Let’s get you home!”

“I can’t go home, Buck!” Athena told him loudly.

“Why not?” He asked, actually worried.

“Because I’m drunk,” Athena said.

“It’s okay, it’s nearly eleven and I'm sure everyone will be asleep,” Buck told her.

“Harry’s got his friends over! It’s a sleepover! They never go to bed before midnight!” Athena told him only slurring her words slightly.

Damn it, Buck cursed. He did not want to embarrass Harry by bringing his drunk mother home. The sleepover would be in the living room so Buck’s plan to get her settled on the coach to avoid Michael was moot.

They would have to go to his place where she could sleep this off the spare guest room Maddie was not using. Luckily she was on a date with Dan and had informed him she was spending the night at his place, which they had been doing more and more as of late and Buck really did not want to think about that. He was still struggling with the Dan and Maddie thing.

“Are you happy to go to my place?” Buck asked, knowing they were not much of a choice but still wanting to ask.

“You live in a firehouse,” Athena told him, “ The...11.11….11…!

“The 117,” Buck confirmed with a nod, “Can we go there?”

“118!” Athena yelled, “My best friend Hen works at the 118. Can we go there?”

Buck chuckled at the idea of showing up at the 118 with a very drunk Athena Grant, “We can’t it’s late and they will be working,”.

“Hen is the best!” Athena announced.

“She really is,” Buck agreed, knowing that technically he had not met her yet.

“You don’t know, Hen. Bucko! Don’t worry, I'll introduce you! She’s the best!” Athena explained, again slurring her words. Buck hoped she fell asleep as soon as they got to the 117.

“I’d like that,” he said with a smile.

“She’s a firefighter and you are going to be a firefighter. You’ll be firefighter friends!” Athena yelled.

“I’m sure will, Athena,” Buck said as he turned the radio on to play some smooth jazz hoping it might calm her down.

Ten minutes later they had pulled into the firehouse and Buck was getting Athena out of the Jeep. The music had worked and she looked ready to fall asleep.

“Where am I?” Athena asked her voice low and quiet as she leaned against Buck as he moved her toward the elevator.

“You are at my place, the 117,” Buck asked, quickly pressing the button as they headed up to the top floor.

“Okay, good, I’m drunk and I can’t go home,” Athena said, leaning against Buck for balance. “Michael thinks I’m working...Shhh. secret...don’t tell”.

“I won’t tell. I promise,” Buck agreed, both worried that Athena was lying to Michael but also glad that no one was going to be worried if she did not make it home. He will try to find out more information tomorrow. For now, he needed to get her to bed.

“Good,” Athena said as Buck moved her to lean up against the wall as he opened the elevator door. He then moved them down the hallway and toward the door of the spare room. He sat Athena down on the bed and kneeled down in front of her to get her boots off. They had laces and zipped which were very confusing.

“I’m sleepy,” Athena said, trying to lay down. Buck quickly stopped her wanting to get her shoes and jacket off first. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“Not yet, you can sleep in a second. Okay?”

Athena nodded and leaned forward. Before Buck knew what was happening her lips were on his and she was kissing him.

Buck pulled back right away and just froze. He could not believe what had just happened. Athena Grant had kissed him. Athena had kissed him on the mouth. Not on the cheek or forehead like she had done before but straight on the lips.

Athena had kissed him.

That was the only thought going through his head on repeat. He was in shock. She was married to Michael! She was Bobby’s future wife and she had just kissed him. This was bad. This was very very bad.

Buck looked at her and she was clearly very drunk and not in her right mind at all. She was struggling to even stay upright sitting on the bed, clearly swaying.

“You need to go to sleep,” Buck said, moving towards her and making quick work on getting her jacket off.

“Sleep sounds good,” Athena said laying down, Buck took off her other shoe and then covered her up with a blanket.

Buck then went to the bathroom and grabbed a glass of water and some painkiller and put them on the side of the bed. He then wrote a note explaining where she was and what happened in case she woke up and freaked out being in an unfamiliar face. Once that was done and Buck was sure she was out cold he shut the door and turned off the lights.

He headed downstairs and poured himself a rather large glass of the first bottle of the bar. He downs it in one. Decided it’s whiskey and then poured another smaller glass.

What a night.

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,” Buck said out loud and strangely that actually helped.

Athena had kissed him. He had pulled away but still, it had happened. He had kissed Bobby’s wife. Buck knew that this Athena had not even bet Bobby yet and technically was Michael’s wife. Still, she was Bobby’s wife and she had tried to kiss him and that was really weird for Buck.

Buck drank the rest of his drink and decided that he needed to head to bed. The one thing he knew for sure is that no one from the 118 would ever be told about tonight.

The next morning Buck was making muffins when he heard movement from the hallway. Athena had clearly woken up.

“Good Morning,” She grumbled as she made her way into the living space. She stopped a few steps in and just stood there.

“Morning Athena, Come sit and I'll get you some coffee?” Buck offered, he did not know if she remembered much about last night but he was certainly not about to bring it up.

Athena nodded and came further into the room to sit at the breakfast bar.

“How’s your head?” Buck asked.

“Sore,” Athena answered as she took a sip of her perfectly made coffee, “Really sore. I’m sorry about last night getting drunk at your bar and…thank you for bringing me here and not...and being…for taking care of me”.

“It’s not a problem!” Buck said quickly “And we don’t have to talk about it...ever!”.

“We don’t,” Athena agreed quickly, “But first I need to say I’m sorry for my behaviour last night. For getting drunk and for everything else that happened,”.

“Apology accepted,” Buck said, very much meaning his words of never wanting to speak about it again, “Let’s move on and like I said forget the whole thing ever happened,”.

“That’s good,” Athena said with a nod of her head, which immediately made her groan in pain.

“Let me get you some food?” Buck offered, and then asked despite knowing the answer “What’s your hangover food?”

“Bacon….eggs?” Athena replied.

“Scrambled,” Buck nodded, knowing how Athena liked her breakfast food.

Half an hour later they both had clean plates and Athena looked less pale.

“That was really good, Buck,” Athena complimented, “Who taught you to cook?”

Buck panicked for a moment thinking about how the answer was her future husband that neither of them had met yet, “An old boss of mine, he loved to cook. That and an old boyfriend’s grandmother,”.

“Not your own parents?” Athena asked.

“Oh no, the Buckley's aren't the type to cook for themselves or for their kids,” Buck explained, it had been years since he had talked about his parents or childhood, “More coffee?”

Athena nodded and Buck grabbed them both a cup, “Can I ask you about last night?”.

“I think you have more than earned an explanation,” Athena agreed, taking a sip of her once again perfectly made coffee.

“You said your husband thinks you are at work, that you had lied to him and gone to a bar on your own instead. Why? Was this about what we talked about last time,” Buck asked, needing to know what had caused last night to happen? What had caused Athena to drink as much as she had?

“Things with Michael have been tough for a while now, like I told you I have thought he might be cheating. It’s just not right. We have been pretending it is for a long time now for the kids and the life we have built and lately I feel...He’s stopped. He’s different and something has changed,” Athena explained.

“Have you asked him?” Buck asked, knowing the reason behind Michael’s behaviour but having to ask like he did not.

“He won’t talk to me. I’ve tried but he just shuts down,” Athena confessed, “The thing with me and Michael is we aren’t some great love story. That’s never been us, but what has always been us is that we are friends. He’s always been my friend and now it’s like he has stopped and I don’t know why that is. I don't know why the sudden change,”.

“Maybe he’ll tell you in his own time,” Buck suggested, working on dates in his head for when Michael would come out to Athena. Based on when he knew they told the kids it must be coming up soon.

“I think he might have met someone else, like not just an affair, but like he has serious feelings for this person” Athena confessed, “I don’t know some of the signs are there. Late nights at work, change in hours, I smelt new cologne on him. The man has worn the same cologne for the last ten years and every now again he smells different,”.

Buck nodded, not knowing what to say.

“I just don’t want things to change. May and Harry are good. Our family is good and now things are changing and it’s out of my control and I don’t like it,” Athena told him.

“Things might change,” Buck agreed, “Change can be good. Pave the way for new things. I find that often we think back to the big changes in our lives. They often lead to some of the best things, just not how we expect,”.

“Not sure what good is going to come of this,” Athena said bitterly, “I’m worried about my family breaking up,”.

“You’ll always be a family,” Buck told her, knowing that the divorce would not stop Athena from viewing Micheal as family, “Not all families look the same, maybe you’ll actually end up happier,”.

“Thank you for last night, for making sure I was okay, bringing me here,” Athena told him, “You are a good man, Buck,”.

Buck waved her off, “It’s what friends do,”.

“I clearly needed a friend last night and I am very glad it was you,” Athena told him with a smile.

“You’re going to be okay, Athena,” Buck said, moving up to give her a hug. Athena seemed unsure at first but then after a moment hugged him back.

Buck had passed his firefighter exams and beaten both his original scores. He was elated. In the beginning, he hated having to retrain to a job he had been doing for over ten years and doing damn well. It was just another thing that had been taken from him when he woke up in the past. However, once he had set himself the challenge of beating his original scores he found the training not as bad. Quite a bit of it was actually outdated and it had been fun to look at how much things had changed since he first became a firefighter.

Also as life got busy with buying the 117, moving in and Maddie turning up, he became grateful that he found the training so easy. Not to mention he was back in his twenty-five-year-old body, fresh off training to be a navy seal. The thirty-six-year-old version of him had still been in amazing shape, but that version of him was older and his body had been through a lot of trauma. His current body was younger and had been through a lot less. One of the things that had shocked when he first arrived was the lack of scar on his body, obviously, there was his leg that had not been crushed but also there were several other scars that had come from years and years of being on the job and running into dangerous situations.

Having the body of someone in their twenties was different to someone in their thirties. Buck had not realised the change as it had happened gradually as he had got older and also settled into a relationship. He had other things to do, a family to spend time with, going to the gym became less of a priority. Then suddenly he had woken up in the past with his younger body and realised how much he had changed over the years. All the little aches and pains were gone. His leg never hurt at all! That had taken some getting used to. The physical aspect of being a firefighter felt easy; it was something he had been doing in his older body so doing it in his younger one was so much easier.

Naturally, he had passed and now it was time to celebrate. He had gone for a quick couple of drinks with the guys from the academy. He remembered doing this the first time. They had all gone out together and partied in the early hours of the morning. He remembered had had actually gone home with one of the guys, who had ended up being assigned to the 133, and had meaningless sex with him. This time around he was one of the guys who had left after a couple because they had friends and family they had to go and celebrate with. That was a nice feeling, leaving because he had people who would be waiting on him.

Everyone had agreed to meet a Patty’s. They had all made the effort to get the night off. Even Athena had agreed to come. It was going to be a full house. There was an element of sadness as Buck thought about his future teammate, they would not be there. He wished Eddie, Bobby, Hen and Chim were waiting to celebrate, but it would not be long now. In a few days, he would get the news that he had joined the 118 and then in only a couple of short weeks he would walk into the firehouse for his first day. It was nearly here.

Buck would focus on what he did have rather than what he did not have. He had people waiting for him, his sister and a great group of friends, they would be waiting to hear if he passed or not. Buck wondered if there was any doubt that he would. Obviously, he knew he would pass but he did not know if they knew that.

Buck walked into the bar and immediately saw his crowd of people. Marco, Will and Keira were sitting in a booth chatting. Athena talked to Dan and Maddie who were holding hands as they talked. Olly was in a deep conversation with Jesse. It was Dan who saw him first.

“Here he is!” Dan yelled and everyone turned to look at him.

Buck looked around at all the people he had in life and his heartfelt full of affection for them. This was a much better way to celebrate becoming a firefighter than the first time around.

“I passed!” Buck exclaimed and everyone cheered.

Soon he was surrounded by people hugging him and congratulating him. His heartfelt warm and full with all the love he felt.

Everyone was so happy. Marco patted him on the back and told him he was proud. Maddie must have hugged him about three times in the space of a couple of minutes. Dan or Olly, he was unsure which shoved a drink in his hand.

“A toast!” Yelled Will, “To the best firefighter this city has ever seen! To Buck!”

“To Buck!” They all toasted.

After that everyone broke off after taking the time to all celebrate and congrats with Buck.

Buck had just made his escape talking to Dan and Maddie who was very affectionate and it still creeped Buck out. Felt like his sister was cheating on Chim, which he knew was crazy as Maddie had not even met the man yet and neither had he. Still, it was weird for Buck and he was still getting used to it.

“I think I owe you a drink for your record-breaking scores,” Athena said with a proud smile.

“You do, but unfortunately drinks are all on Marco tonight so you’ll have to take a raincheck,” Buck replied, “Told you’d I’d smash it,”.

“You certainly did,” Athena agreed, “Do you know where you are heading yet?”

Buck shook his head, “Should find out soon, a couple of weeks max,”.

“Exciting,” Athena smiled.

“It is,” Buck agreed, “Feel like I've been waiting for this day forever,”.

“I remember my first day on the force,” Athena remembered.

“Nervous?” Buck asked.

“Of course not,” Athena told him and Buck honestly believed her. She was one of the best cops out there. Like him and fire fighting, Athena and being a cop with her calling, what she was meant to do, “I love my job and I’m great at it. I’m proud of what I do. That I help people,”.

“I can’t wait to do that,” Buck confessed, this is what he missed most, “Helping people, saving lives, making a difference,”.

“It’s not always easy,” Athena told him, “The highs are amazing when you save someone. When you get a win. It’s the best feeling in the world knowing you helped that these people's lives are okay because you were there. However, it doesn’t always go that way...the lows...the calls when you can’t save one...when you lose someone...those are bad. I want you to know you can come to me when they happen. That I understand and you can reach out,”.

“Thank you, Athena,” Buck said, thinking about his past and his first loss. The kid, Deven, who had fallen from the roller coaster. Buck wished that he had Athena to talk to after that had happened.

“You are going to be an amazing firefighter, Buck,” Athena told him.

Before Buck could reply they were called over to rejoin the group who had all piled into a booth and were swapping stories and telling jokes. Buck sat down with them and joined in.

This was much better than the first time around.

An hour later and only about half the group was left. Athena, Marco, Maddie and Dan had all left. Will had surprisingly stayed as he was normally the first one to leave any social situation if he turned up at all. It was Keria’s night off as she had a babysitter for Lizzie and she was out to enjoy herself. Olly and Jesse were getting on like a house on fire.

The five had felt Patty’s and made their way to a club where they had been dancing and also doing the first round of shots of the night. They had all been dancing together, though Buck did notice that Olly and Jesse were slightly separate. Keria was attracting a lot of attention as she was young and beautiful. Will had stopped drinking hours ago Buck had noticed and was clearly looking out for everyone. Buck ducked away from the group to grab some air, letting Will know first.

Buck was enjoying himself being out with his friends. He was a little drunk for the first time in a long time, people kept putting drinks in his hand. Everyone had been just so happy for him. It was nice being out and celebrating. It felt like for months he had just been planning and waiting for things to begin and now life was finally starting. He was actually living again and enjoying life.

Buck stood outside for a moment before wanting to head back in and join his friends. On his way back in he accidentally bumped into someone, knocking a drink out of their hand.

“I’m so sorry, let me replace your drink...Josh!” Buck exclaimed.

In front of him was Maddie’s best friend Josh. Buck had not thought about Josh since his arrival in the past he had forgotten about the man. Buck had always liked Josh, he was a good man and a great friend to his sister. Over the years they had spent a great deal of time together, usually with Maddie, and become friends. Josh was wickedly funny and a great person to have a games night. Also, the man knew how to throw a party. Buck went to Josh's wedding where he had married a trauma surgeon called Julian, who was the biggest nerd Buck had ever met but with the face of a movie star. That had been one of the craziest nights of Buck’s life and he still did not remember half of it to this day.

“Do I know you?” Josh asked, looking Buck up and down, clearly trying to place.

Fuck, thought Buck. He had messed up. He needed to say something quickly.

“I’m psychic,” Buck blurted out.

“You’re psychic?” Josh asked, clearly not believing any of it.

“Yep, sometimes I just know things” Buck confirmed, clearly he had to go with the lie. Hopefully, Josh was drunk as well and just went with it.

“Really?” Josh asked, “Go on then?”

Buck quickly ran through everything he knew about Josh and then tried to date it all for something that would be true now.

“You tell everyone your favourite film is the godfather but really is The Devil wears Prada,” Buck blurted out, “Meryl Streep is a god in your eyes and you once skipped a family member's wedding because it was opening weekend for Julia & Julia.”.

“Holy shit!” Josh exclaimed, “No one knows that!”

Maddie would know that Buck thought and she would tell him, that would not happen for another seven years though.

“Psychic,” Buck said with a shrug as an answer.

“That’s amazing!” Josh gushed, “Who even are you?”

“My names is Buck,” Buck introduced.

“Nice to meet you!” Josh greeted, “Let me grab you a drink,”.

Josh did just that and the pair went to sit in one of the side rooms that were not as loud. Buck waved to Will to say where he was.

“So Buck, what do you do?” Josh asked.

“Actually as of today I am a firefighter,” Buck answered.

“No way!” Josh exclaimed, “I’m a 911 operated, maybe I’ll be sending you on calls,”.

“You probably will,” Buck agreed and then decided to take a risk, he was a little drunk, “I actually have been trying to get my sister to become a dispatcher. She used to be a nurse and still wants to help people just not face to face,”.

“Here is my number!” Josh said, “Give it to your sister and we will grab a coffee, talk about the job. Is she Psychic?”

“No!” Buck blurted out, “And she hates me telling people about my gift so you can’t tell that you know! Promise,”

Josh promised just as Jesse and Olly ran in!

“Buck!” Olly yelled, “I had the best idea!”

“He really has,” Jesse agreed.

“What is the idea?” Buck asked.

“Karaoke!” The pair yelled.

Buck turned to Josh, “You coming?”

“Hell yes”.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12 - Second First Day

Buck is not ashamed to say he cried today when he officially found out he had been assigned to the 118 under Captain Rober Nash. He knew it was coming, there was no other firehouse he would ever work at. Still, it was amazing to see there in black and white that he was going to finally go and work at the 118. He would finally be back with his team and his family. Every single day he thought about them and missed them. Luckily fate had allowed him to see Hen once but this is the longest he had ever gone without seeing Bobby and Chim since he joined the 118.

The waiting was now over and he would finally be reunited with them. Buck kept having to remind himself that it was not a reunion. They would be meeting him for the first time. It was important he remembered that. He would have to make sure he did things the same as the first time...well as much as possible. There was no way he was going to go back to Buck 1.0 and start sleeping around again, which hopefully would mean that this time around he would not get fired.

Buck knew things would be different, he was different, he was not that same stupid reckless kid that he had been the first time around. That was going to have an effect on the timeline. He just hoped it would not be so different that they would not become a family. Things were already different, Maddie was here and dating Dan, he had his own place and friends, including Athena. He still needed Bobby, Hen and Chimney, they were the first people he let in his life in a really long time and they loved and accepted him. They were family and he needed them.

He was also confident in his self-esteem to know that he had helped them as well. Hen properly the least out of the three, but they had still been close developing very quickly an old sister younger brother relationship. Chimney had become his family, he had found his place when he had fallen in love with Buck’s sister. Then there was Bobby. Buck knew that he and had Bobby had a relationship similar to a father and son, he also knew that it had been hard for Bobby at first given all he had lost. Over time Buck knew how much he meant to Bobby and along with the family he had found with Athena.

Safe to say there was a lot riding on this job for Buck. It was so much more than just a job. It was the start of his life. Not only did it give him a family. The job was how he would meet Eddie. The number of times they had been asked how they met and would answer through work. Still, Eddie’s first day was over a year away, first Buck would need to get through his own first day.

The night before he had not slept a wink. Thoughts ran through his head of all the possibilities of how tomorrow would go. Around half four he had given up on sleep and gone downstairs to work out some of his nervous energy. The home gym was a game-changer for Buck, meaning that now whenever he had the energy he needed to get rid of he could just go right downstairs. After a workout, he showered before going to the kitchen for his next distraction, baking. He made two dozen muffins, followed by a lemon drizzle cake and some apple turnovers which happened to be Bobby’s favourite. By the time they were cooling the sun had come up and the morning was underway Buck had now moved on to internet shopping. There was still so much he needed for the 117.

That was how Maddie found him. Surrounded by baked goods, shopping on his Ipad.

“Good morning,” Maddie greeted, looking around confused, “What happened here?”

“Couldn’t sleep, too pent up,” Buck answered, “Do you think this place needs more plants?”

Maddie walked over and looked at the tablet, “Maybe but I don’t think it needs the thirty-six that are in your basket,”.

“Maddie there are only 15, the others are pots, plant food and spray bottles,” Buck said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Naturally,” Maddie said, moving to the fridge to grab some juice, “I’m assuming this is all to do with your first day. You’re nervous?”

Buck nodded, “I’ve been waiting for this for so long. There has been this build-up for months and now it’s here,”.

“You’ll be great,” Maddie reassured.

“You think?” Buck asked, he remembered being nervous the first time around and not having anyone to talk to it about.

Maddie put down her drink and moved to stand in front of her brother, “Of course I do. Evan, you have such a big heart...I won’t say I’m not worried about you because of course, I am...but look at your life, how much you’ve changed since the last time I saw you when you were that scared kid telling me you were going to be something. Look at you now. I look at you and it’s like you finally know who you are and what you want to do. I’ve never seen you with this sense of determination and purpose...I wish I’d be here to see you,”.

Buck quickly wrapped his arms around his sister in a hug. Maddie happily hugged him back.

“You’re here, now,” Buck told her as they hugged, “I’m so happy you are here,”.

“Me too,” Maddie said as they broke the hug and she looked at her little brother, “Did you get any sleep last night?”

Buck shook his head.

“Right off to bed. Your shift doesn’t start till two,” Maddie ordered, “Go rest. The last thing you want is to fall asleep on your first day,”.

Buck wanted to tell her that it would not even be a proper shift. That he remembered it so clearly. He would arrive just as they sat down for lunch, they would eat and chat. Then he would be pulled into Bobby’s office to do some paperwork, at least this time he would have a next of kin to put down. After that Chim and Hen would give him a tour. They would get to go out on two calls that evening both medical before the shift ended.

Still, it was impossible to say no to his big sister so Buck did as he was told and went upstairs for some sleep.

Hours later he pulled up in a place he had not been to in nearly nine months. The 118 had been like another home to him, it was full of memories. Family dinners, video games, long talks about their lives. This was also the place he had met the love of his life. Buck stood next to the firetruck and looked into the changing room. He could picture it so clearly like it was yesterday. He could see Eddie standing in the spot where he first saw him, young, beautiful and shiftless.

Buck was suddenly hit with another memory. The last time he had been here. Him and Eddie jumped in the trucks like normal, banter flowing, no idea they were going to the call that would end Eddie’s life.

Buck had never come back to the 118 after that. He had gone home, changed and driven straight to Christopher to tell him the news himself. Eddie had died on the scene so there were no death bed hospital goodbyes. One minute he was alive and the next he was gone. All because of a stupid house fire caused by a freak electrical fault.

After Eddie’s death, Buck had the funeral and looked after Chris. He had not even thought about returning to work before he had woken up in the past. Here he was now though.

Buck shoved down the thoughts of Eddie’s death. Took a deep break and climbed the stairs.

This was it.

Buck reached the top of the stairs and he saw them. There they were. Once again Buck could not believe how young they all looked. It was crazy to see this version of his family again. Bobby was sitting at the head of the table with Chim next to him, there was a seat in between Bobby and Hen, his seat.

Buck just stopped and watched them all eating and talking, he had to blink away the tears that were forming in his eyes. He was really here. This was happening. He could see Bobby and Chim and the back on Hen’s head. This was actually about to happen.

Buck tried to remember what had happened, he remembered a joke about not knowing Captain Nash. Clearly, he had been standing too long as Bobby had seen him.

“Hello! Can we help you?” Bobby called over.

Buck tried to level his breathing, Bobby was looking right at him.

He walked forward towards the table, back over his shoulder, “Hello! I’m Evan….Evan Buckley...I’m a new recruit...I was told to report to Captain Nash?”

Buck watched as Bobby frowned and they all looked around the table, “You know a Captain Nash? You?”

Buck tried not to smile, this time he was aware they were playing a joke on him, luckily his real nervousness must have shown through.

“Take a seat, Evan,” Bobby said, pushing his chair out. It was so weird to hear his first name come out of Bobby’s mouth.

“Please call me Buck. Everyone calls me Buck, except for my sister,” Buck rambled as he sat down and placed his bag next to him.

Then the most wonderful thing happened Bobby leaned over and patted him on the shoulder and said, “Welcome to the 118, Buck,”.

It was one of the best sentences Buck had ever heard, along with Eddie saying, “Buck, there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you,” or Chris saying “You're basically my other Dad, Buck,”.

It felt right to hear that, like coming home. Buck blinked back tears and tried to remain cool and calm. He thanked Chim who had put a plate of food in front of him.

“This looks amazing,” Buck commented on the food, “Do you always eat like this?”

“Always,” Chim echoed.

“As long as Bobby is in the Captain’s chair,” Hen echoed.

Buck smiled at Hen and wondered if she would recognize him from all those months ago. They all ate their food and Buck felt so happy to finally be back where he belonged.

Hen smiled back and said, “I’m Hen and that Chimney, don’t ask about the nickname,”.

“Okay, I won’t,” Buck laughed, “Nice to meet you both,”.

“You two, Buck,” Chim replied, Buck, smiled brightly at the man Buck was still pretty confident would end up being his future brother-in-law.

Knowing the way in, “Did you cook this, Chimney?”

Just as Buck knew she would, Hen let out a loud laugh, “He wishes. We let Chim cook and we’d properly have to call the fire department. This is all, Cap,”.

Buck turned to Bobby, “Well, it’s amazing. I’d love your recipes,”

“You cook?” Bobby asked, clearly not expecting that and to be fair he would have been correct the first time around.

“I do,” Buck confirmed, “I actually brought some baked goods with me, I made them fresh this morning...I bake when I'm nervous and you know the first day of a new job...thought if it all went really badly I could bribe you all with sweet treats,”.

“Oh, I’m liking the newbie already,” Hen praised as Buck reached into his bag and pulled out the two plastic containers.

“I made a Lemon drizzle cake and apple turnovers,” Buck told them, watching Bobby's reaction as he knew they were a guilty pleasure of the captain.

“I love apple turnovers,” Bobby admitted, which made Buck fill up with pride. This was going well.

“Well come on Cap. Do a taste test,” Chim demanded, “Let’s see if young Buckley is going to be on desserts,”.

“Go ahead,” Buck said, handing the open container.

Bobby grabbed one, smiled at Buck before taking a bite, he clearly liked it by the looks in his eyes.

Buck watched as Bobby swallowed, eager to hear the review. Only nothing was said.

Bobby said nothing.

“What’s the verdict, cap?” Hen promoted.

“That was amazing,” Bobby said softly, “Tasted just like the ones my grandmother used to make. Where did you get the recipe?”.

Fuck, it was then Buck remembered where he had gotten the recipe from Bobby himself, he had forgotten it was an old family recipe.

“Erm...I think…” Buck stuttered, “From an old boss of mine, he said he was also a family recipe,”.

“Maybe it's the same one,” Chim proposed, “Passed down from a great-great-grandmother or something,”.

“Well, either way, well-done kid,” Bobby praised, “Delicious. You’ll definitely be helping me out in the kitchen,”.

Buck’s mind filled with the thousands and thousands of meals he had cooked with Bobby over the years. From daily meals for when they are on shifts, to practice cooking classes, to important meals like birthdays, thanksgivings and Christmases.

“Sounds good, Captain,” Buck said, making sure he kept professional and did not go with Cap or worse Pops.

Buck tried to cherish every minute of the meal they shared. It felt so amazing to be back eating a meal with the 118. He kept having to pinch himself under the table to remind himself that this was real and it was really happening to him. They finished Bobby’s food before they all dug into Buck’s cake and the turnovers.

“Come on, Buck,” Bobby said, “Given we did the cooking, let’s leave the cleaning up to the others and get you all set up,”.

Buck nodded and followed Bobby into his office where they both sat down.

“Firstly welcome to 118,” Bobby told him warmly, “I am happy to have you on the team,”.

“I’m happy to be here, Cap,” Buck added, his excitement of being back showing through, “I’m gonna work so hard. I won’t let you down,”.

Buck thought about the first time around and how he had let Bobby down. He had not acted appropriately and ended up getting fired.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Bobby agreed, grabbing a folder of his desk, “So it looks like we are lucky to have you, Buckley. Top of your class and even record-breaking scores. Your instructor says you work well in a team, cool under pressure. Your nature is impulsive but you have good instincts. Even says here it's like you’ve done the job for years,”.

Buck held back a smile at the last part, maybe he should have asked more questions in training and held back more, “I just like to read. Read the handbook one too many times before bed”.

Bobby smiled at this and nodded, “Think you’ll be a good addition to the team. We need some fresh blood,”.

“It seemed like a good group of people,” Buck said like they weren’t some of the best people he would ever know.

“They are,” Bobby nodded, “Some are a bit stuck in the past, but I’ve been working on that. Now we have some forms we need to fill out,”.
Bobby handed Buck over the paperwork and a pen. Buck filled them out and they chatted. He was happy to actually be able to write down Maddie as an emergency contact this time around, that was a good feeling. Buck could tell Bobby was feeling him out with the getting to know you questions.

After the forms, Buck’s day went just as he remembered the first time around. First a tour from Hen and Chim and then the two medical calls.

The shift ended and Buck got in his jeep emotionally exhausted from the day. It had been amazing to get a part of his old life back but bittersweet as it also reminded him of what he did not have, what he had lost. Still, he was working to get that back.

“How was your first day?” Maddie asked as he walked in to find her cuddled up on the couch.

“Amazing!” Buck smiled, “Definitely the right place for me,”.

“Good,” Maddie smiled before Buck came to sit down next to her.

“What are we watching?” Buck asked as Maddie came to rest her head on his shoulder.

Life felt good.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13 - Home Sweet Home

Buck’s first month back at the 118 felt like a dream. It had been over half a year since he woke up in the past but somehow the true weirdest had not sunk in till he was back at the 118. It was both incredibly familiar but different from his memories at the same time. Being back at work and on calls helping people was phenomenal, it was like a piece of a puzzle clicking into place. It felt right to be back being a firefighter and helping people. Buck knew that he had missed it but he had never known just how much till he was finally back.

It also turns out that calls were a lot easier the second time around. Buck had not thought he would remember individual calls, given how many thousands he had done during his career as a firefighter. However, when he was there in the moment little details would come back and he would remember what happened. The team were very impressed with his skills and his intuition.

However, it was also very stressful making sure he never went too far and revelved something that there was no logical way for him to know. Buck was pretty sure that no one would buy that he was from the future trapped in the past.

Working with Bobby, Chim and Hen was hard work. Buck had missed them so much, they were his family, his people. He had waited months to get back with them and see them again. Just getting to see them was amazing. However, it was also hard adapting to being a stranger. His team did not know him the way that he knew them. To them, he was a new person in their lives, a stranger. To Buck they were his family, they knew him and had for years and he knew them just as well as they knew him. Buck kept having to remind him that for his version of Bobby, Hen and Chimney they had just met him.

Buck had to keep reminding himself that these people were not family.

The shift was just starting and Buck was the first one to arrive, he thought.

He parked the Jeep and got out, ready for another day with the 118. He knew it would take time to build the kind of bonds he had with Bobby, Hen and Chim but was fully aware he was impatient. Quickly clocking in and changing into his uniform before heading up to the loft.

“Hey, Bobby!” Buck greeted happily as he saw the older man was sitting doing paperwork on one of the tables. The novelty of being about to see Bobby every day was still new and Buck thought it would be a while before it wore off.

“Morning Buck,” Bobby greeted with a nod of his head before looking back towards the paperwork.

“How was your night?” Buck asked, moving closer but not sitting down. He knew he had respect Bobby’s boundaries, but this was just him being friendly.

“Good,” Bobby answered, not even looking up from his paperwork.

“Get up too much?” Buck asked again, he was not asking for a lot here, just a quick polite chat and he would get that. A small couple of minutes of small talk, they could build up the big chats later.

“Just went home and watched TV,” Bobby answered, looking up and giving Buck a small smile.

“Watch anything good?” Buck asked, he would get Bobby to ask him a personal question. Hen had often compared him to a golden retriever and Buck would use all of his dog-like qualities to get Bobby to open up a little bit.

“Nothing memorable,” Bobby answered, going back to his paperwork.

Buck sighed and just stared at this man who was the closest thing he had ever had to a good father figure in his life. He could do this.

“I went out for dinner with my sister, went to this amazing restaurant that did the most amazing roast lamb. They must have slow cooked it for hours! Incredible! We went with her new boyfriend Dan, who I like. We were friends before they started dating which helps, he’s a good guy. He got the chicken which didn’t look as nice but came in the most amazing gravy. We all got sticky toffee pudding for dessert which was amazing!” Buck began talking as he made his way into the kitchen, “We could try and cook lamb, slow-cooked, and have the man behind look after it if we get a call. I’ll look up a recipe. Unless you have one?”

Buck didn’t wait for an answer and carried on talking as he made a fresh pot of coffee and grabbed two mugs, “Also do you have a Netflix account? I bet you don’t. I’ll send you my details and you can share mine. I’ll make your own account. There is so much to watch on there. I personally like documentaries! True crime is my current obsession but there are some amazing nature documentaries as well. Have you seen Blackfish? If you haven’t you need to watch it, you’ll never go to SeaWorld again. It's awful what they do to those poor animals,”.

Buck walked over and put a perfectly made cup of coffee in front of Bobby, “Here you go, Cap. I’m gonna get a workout before our first call out unless you need me to do anything?”

Bobby just stared up at Buck like he had just grown a second head but shook his head.

“You know where to find me if you need me,” Buck smiled before walking off, leaving Buck just staring after his newest firefighter.

That might not have gone just as Buck had hoped, but he knew that Bobby would come around. He did the first time after all. Plus this time around Buck knew Bobby, his past. This time Buck knew that information and knew how things had to play out. He just had to go with it and be patient.

“What were those parents thinking? Leaving those kids alone,” Hen said from the truck as they left a call where a small fire had broken out when a thirteen-year-old girl had tried to make dinner for her three younger brothers. Luckily it was a small fire and the girl, Lucy, had thrown a wet cloth over it and stopped it spreading, it had been mostly out by the time they got there.

“I don’t know,” Bobby added from the front of the truck.

“She did a good job,” Buck said as he sat in his usual spot across from Hen, “Getting them outside and knowing to use a wet cloth for a grease fire,”.

“That’s true, a lot of adults don’t know that,” Bobby added, “She was just so young and so worried about taking care of her younger brothers. She should be a kid,”.

“My older sister basically raised me,” Buck commented, letting the 118 know a little about him and his past, might help them open up as well.“Don’t think she’ll ever stop worrying about me. It’s kind of an older sibling's job to worry about their younger ones,”.

“She shouldn’t have to, she should just get to be a kid without that responsibility the parents are putting on her,” Hen added, “It’s their job to look after their kids,”.

“Yeah, not all parents do though,” Buck said with a shrug thinking of his old biological parents. He rarely thought about them, “Some just don’t care,”.

“Aren’t that the truth,” Chim muttered,

“You could see how much she loved her brothers though,” Buck said with a smile thinking about Maddie, “She’ll take care of them if the parents won’t or can’t! Maybe they work and need her to help out,”.

“Guess you can’t stop an older sister worrying about the younger ones,” Hen agreed.

“Right! Chim back me up that older siblings always worry about the younger ones,” Buck said, without thinking.

“What?” Chim said, turning in the truck to frown at Buck, “I never said I was an older brother,”.

Buck swore in his head. No one knew about Albert yet. That was future knowledge.

“Oh I guess you just give off older brother vibes,” Buck said trying to save his slip up.

“That’s because you are like an annoying little brother,” Chim teased back, smiling again, any tension from Buck’s comment gone.

“I am not!” Buck said and to prove Chim’s point stuck his tongue out at Chimney.

“Very mature,” Hen said with a chuckle.

Buck let out a deep breath. That was a close one. He would have to be more careful in future.

They were at the end of their shift and all walking out together and had the weekend off.

“Everyone got big weekend plans?” Buck asked, he had been trying to be subtle but kept stirring conversations towards plans outside of work, hoping they would lead them to all of them hanging out together. This had yet to actually work.

“Yep!” Hen answered, “Karen and I are having a family weekend with Denny. She has the whole thing planned out. We’ve been so busy lately, we’ve not spent any time together with the three of us in ages,”.

“Aw nice,” Buck gushed, thinking about Chris. He missed him so much, it was the best part of his old life getting to watch Chris grow up to the amazing young man he had become. He had been so proud of Chris, “You should, kids grow up so fast. Blink and he’ll be a teenager,”.

“Don’t say that Buck,” Hen laughed, “What about you, Buck? You got a fun weekend being young planned?”.

“I’ve actually agreed to help out my old boss and work a shift at his bar tomorrow,” Buck told them, he had not worked with Marco and Will in weeks and was excited to go spend time with them, “It’s Patty’s downtown, on Melrose. You should come down and check it out sometime,”.

Buck turned to Bobby and Chimney, “I’ll even cover your drinks if you come down on Saturday,”.

“Maybe!” Chim said, “I’ve got a hot date Friday, so we’ll see how my weekend goes from there,”.

“Bars aren’t really my thing,” Bobby said as got in his car, “Have a good weekend!!”.

“Night Bobby!” Chim called, as he got into his own car “Night guys!”

The hurt must have shown on Buck’s face because Hen turned to him and said, “Don’t take it personally Buck, Bobby just likes to keep it professional and not hang out outside work,”.

Buck nodded, “Enjoy your weekend, Hen,”.

“Me and Karen will check out your bar on our next date night,” Hen promised.

“Tell them you work with me and they will sort you with a bottle of wine,”.

Hen smiled, “Thank you! Night Buck,”.

“Night Hen,” Buck said as he got in his jeep and began the drive home. He tried to remind himself it would take time and things would get back to normal soon.

Buck was having a good night. He was behind the bar with Will who was in a very good mood. Buck had not seen as much of his friend lately with life being so crazy since Maddie’s arrival. This was his first time working a shift for Marco at Patty’s in nearly three weeks and it had been just as long since he had seen his friend.

“What’s going on with you?” Buck asked, as they were both making drinks the bar was busy as it got.

Will frowned at him, “Nothing,” and then carried on making his drinks.

“You seem happier? Lighter?” Buck questioned, reaching around to grab a bottle of wine from next to Will, “Something’s different,”.

“Nothing’s different,” Will defended, protesting way too much, finishing off the drinking and handing them over to the customer who handed over the money and disappeared.

“Something is different,” Buck argued, as Will put some of the money in the till and the rest in the tip jar, “Did you meet someone!”

“Buck,” Will said in a warning tone.

“Fine,” Buck surrendered, putting up his hands and grabbing the next order from the lady at the bar.

“How’s work?” Will asked as they both got to work on the next lot of drinks, “You still loving it”?

“It’s great!” Buck gushed, thinking about the rush he got from being back on calls, “We had the craziest call this week. We were called out to the house and his lady had gotten trapped in her fridge…”

“Buck!” Buck turned around to see Maddie and Dan at the bar.

“Hey guys,” Buck greeted, as he handed over the drinks to the customer next to them.

“Hello!” Will greeted them with a wave.

Dan and Maddie waved at Will, who took over the bar so Buck could talk to his sister and friend.

“How was the film?” Buck asked, knowing they had been on a date to see The Greatest Showman.

“Amazing!” Maddie gushed, “The songs are so catchy,”.

“Definitely gonna have them on repeat at work,” Dan added, his arm wrapping around Maddie and pulling her close, “Iconic!”

“Never would have pegged you for a musical fan,” Buck pointed out, knowing that Dan was right and the music would become iconic, played for years in the future.

“Everything is better in musicals, Buck!” Dan told him with a big smile “Life is easier with a song in your heart,”.

Buck laughed and Maddie joined in.

“Disney musicals are by far the best,” Dan carried on, “I was obsessed with Hercules as a kid, my mum says when I was a kid I watched it every day for about six months,”.

“Your poor mother,” Maddie sympathised.

“Yep, it was a tough time for her,” Dan agreed, nodding his head.

“Buck!” A familiar voice called out and Buck turned to see Chim calling him and walking over to the bar.

“Chimney! You came!” Buck smiled, his eyes flickering between him and his sister and her boyfriend. This was super weird.

Maddie and Chim were about to meet and they had no idea how important that would be to both of them. One day they would tell their kids this story.

Buck tried not to freak out.

“Yeah! Thought I’d take you up on your offer for a drink!” Chim said joining Maddie and Dan at the bar.

“Guys this is Chimney, we work together,” Buck introduced, trying not to freak out that he was about to introduce Maddie’s husband to her boyfriend, “Chim this is my sister, Maddie and my friend Dan…”.

“Lovely to meet you!” Maddie gushed, “Buck can’t stop talking about all of you!”.

“Chimney! Got to be a story there,” Dan added.

“Not one I’m telling,” Chimney added and he and Dan laughed. Buck just stared as his sister, boyfriend and husband laughed together. Time travel was weird

“Chimney, let's get you a drink and you can tell me all about how my baby brother is getting on,” Maddie offered.

“Only in return for embarrassing stories I can tell on Monday Morning,” Chim bargained.

“Oh this does not feel like it’s going to work out well for me,” Buck added, holding down all the emotions he had at seeing Chimney with Maddie, “Grab a booth and I'll bring drinks over. Beer Chim?”

“Sounds good,” Chim agreed as he followed Maddie and Dan over to a table on the other side of the bar.

Buck took a deep breath and went back behind the bar to grab their drinks. Buck kept taking deep breaths and tried to keep calm. This all just felt too much.

Maddie and Chim had just met for the first time.

Only it was not like the first time around at all.

Everything was different.

Buck then started to think about what else would be different. What else would he change without meaning to?

Would Bobby and Athena still get together?

Would he and Eddie?

Buck could feel his chest getting tighter and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He needed air and he needed to get out.

The noise.

The lights.

Buck tried to focus on something. Find something to ground him.

Buck looked around and then he heard it - Maddie’s laugh.

Turning quickly, he locked eyes on his sister who was sitting with Dan’s arm around her but she was laughing at something Chimney was saying.

This was wrong. Buck felt his chest tighten. This was wrong.

He couldn’t breathe. Everything was wrong.

Buck saw the door to the bar open and felt the fresh air and he ran.

He had to get out of there. Everything was just too much.

Buck felt the fresh air hit up but he still felt tense and like he could not catch his own breath. His mouth was dry and he felt dizzy. Buck sat down on the green bench outside and dropped his head down low. He knew he needed to calm down and get his breath back, he just needed something to focus on, but all he could think was that everything was different. Everything has changed and it was all because of him. It was his fault.

Buck wanted Eddie. Eddie would help. Everything would be okay if Eddie was here.

“Buck,” a voice called, “Look at me”.

Eddie! Buck thought. Was he here? That was not possible.

“I need you to take a deep breath for me,” the voice, Eddie’s voice, said slowly, “I’m going to touch you okay,”.

Buck felt a strong hand grip his arm, and move his hand so it was resting on their chest.

“Can you feel me breathing?” the voice asked, but Buck didn’t respond, he tried to nod, “I need you to copy me, copy my breath. Can you do that?”

Buck focused and tried to do what the voice said, he tried to look up to see if it really was Eddie, but his vision was blurry.

“You are doing good,” Buck was told, “Try and take a deep breath,”.

Buck did and managed to breathe in a big gasp of air, his heart was slowing down. He could breathe. He focused on his breath and felt himself return to normal.

“Will?” Buck asked, looking up at the man he thought was Eddie.

“Hey, man,” Will smiled, “Here?”

Will handed him a bottle of water and Buck was grateful because his mouth was really dry. He drank the whole thing in one go.

“Thanks,” Buck said, looking up at Will who was crouched in front of the bench outside the bar.

“It’s okay, happens to the best of us,” Will told him, with a soft smile, “You okay?”

Buck nodded, playing with the empty water bottle, the sound helping him as he crushed the plastic.

“Want to talk about?” Will asked.

Buck did, desperately. He wanted nothing more than to talk to someone about the insanity that was his life. There were days that he really thought he had just gone crazy. That Eddie’s death had been too much and pushed him over the edge and this world he was living in was all inside his head, his brain's way of trying to cope. He desperately wanted to talk to someone about Eddie. He wanted to say his name out loud. Buck wanted nothing more than to tell someone about his amazing partner Eddie and his kid Christopher. He missed them both more than possible and all that kept him going was the idea that he would get them back.

But now nothing was going as it should do. Things were changing and it was his fault.

What if he changed things and he lost Eddie and Chris because of it.

“No, I can’t talk about it,” Buck said to Will.

Will nodded, “I didn’t talk about Jenny and everything that happened with her for a really long time and it...it wasn’t good. You should talk to someone...keeping it all inside till you have a panic attack isn’t good, Buck,”.

“I know,” Buck told him, “I’m so…”.

“You better not be able to say sorry,” Will told him firmly, “You don’t need to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. You need to ask for help if you need it if you are struggling with work or it’s something else...ask for help…”.

Buck nodded, “I will. I’m okay. It was just...a bad day...I’m okay...really Will,”.

“Okay, Buck,” Will said, “I’ll grab your stuff and you can go home,”.

“I can work,” Buck protested, he had been excited to work all week.

“Do you want me to call Marco? Or your sister?” Will threaten.

“No,” Buck agreed with a sulk.

“Okay, then go home and get to sleep. Panic attacks drain you emotionally,” Will told him with no room for argument, “I’ll cover for you with Maddie,”.

Buck nodded, “You’re a good friend Will,”.

Will smiled, “You’d do the same for me,”.

Buck was in downtown LA just enjoying being out and getting some fresh air. He had just grabbed breakfast with Keria and her daughter Lizzie before Keria had a showing. It had been both catch-up and a business meeting. They had talked about their lives, Keira wanted to hear all about how his job was going and if he liked his team (he did) and Buck had asked Lizzie about how she was liking school. Lizzie really was adorable and still only called him Mr Buck, no matter how many times Buck told her she could just call him Buck. At this point, he was sure she just found it funny.

Keria told him about work and how it was a busy time of year, that people also felt a rush to move before Christmas. She showed him a few files of houses that she thought might be a good fit for him. They were all fixer-uppers and I needed major renovation work. However, he was in no rush to leave the 117. Eventually, he hoped that the house would be for himself, Eddie and Christopher but it was still over a year before he would even meet Eddie, so he had time. There was no rush on the house.

Buck did like the look of a couple of the properties and Keria said she would speak to Maddie to arrange a time where they could do a viewing of the property with Dan.

Now he was just walking down the streets, enjoying the bright sun and being out. Buck had surprised himself how full his life felt recently. He had his job, his sister and a group of friends that he saw regularly. He was busy. When he first arrived in the past he had to keep himself busy to distract himself from the pain of all he had lost and also the craziness of his situation. Now his life was just naturally busy, it felt less painful. He felt less alone. That was not to say he did not miss Eddie. He did, for every second of every day. It only felt worse now he was back at the 118 where he had fallen in love with the man. He kept looking to his left expecting to see Eddie next to him only to find empty space. There was a whole lot of empty space in his life that used to be filled with Eddie. Space in his bed next to him. Space in the shower. Space on the couch. Even now as he walked down the street there was a space where Eddie should have been next to him.

It was not just Eddie either. Buck also felt a space where Christopher should be. He found himself trying to text Chris something funny he had seen, only to remember that Chris was currently a little kid in Texas who had never met him rather than the college kid that Buck had helped raise. Buck loved Christopher and the man he had watched him begin to grow into. It hurt Buck to think about how long it would be till he got to see and hang out with that version of Christopher. However soon he would get a Chris he had not seen in a very long time, little kid Christopher Diaz.

Buck had not lied to Eddie that day in the truck when he had first been shown a picture of Chirs, he really was adorable. The cutest kid ever. Buck loved kids and the 118 families had several but there was never any real competition, Chris had always been Buck’s favourite from the day of the earthquake when they met. Buck loved his nieces and nephews and all the kids that were a part of his family. However Chris was special, they had a connection. It was not a lie to say that Chris was his favourite person. Buck had loved watching him go from little kid to preteen to full teenage and college student. Buck loved each time of Chris’ life and seeing him grow up.

Buck could not wait for the day he finally got to reunite with Eddie and Chris.

“Buck!” Buck was called out from his thoughts as a voice called his name. He looked up to see Athena standing in front of him.

“Hey, Athena!” Buck greeted happily, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,”.

Athena laughed and moved to give him a hug, “Hi Buck, feel like I’ve not seen you in ages. Work been keeping you busy?”

Buck nodded, “Busy, but I love it,”.

It was then that Buck noticed that Athena was not alone.

May was with her.

Buck tried not to stare but she just looked so young. This was not the badass dispatched and friend of his May, this was young teenager May. She looked so young, she was still a kid!

“Buck this is my daughter…” Athena began to introduce.

“May!” Buck finished with a big smile and held out his hand for her to shake, “Your Mom talks about you all the time!”.

“Nice to meet you,” May greeted with a timid smile as she shook his hand.

“May, this is Evan Buckley, he’s a new firefighter on the scene,” Athena introduced.

“What brings you two downtown today?” Buck asked the mother and daughter.

“Mom taking me shopping for my birthday,” May answered, as she held up a couple of bags.

“Yep, it was May’s 14th birthday last week!” Athena added, “So we are having a full day out, shopping, lunch, maybe getting our nails done! More shopping”.

“That sounds lovely!” Buck replied, “And Happy Birthday May!”

“Thank you,” May said back.

“If you two have some time I’ll buy you both a coffee, give you some energy for all that shopping?” Buck offered to the pair, “Maybe some cake to go with it or a brownie,”.

“I love brownies,” May replied, her face lighting up with a smile. Buck knew that May loved Brownies, they had once baked two hundred for a bake sale for the 118 that had got out of hand.

“I think you’ve won her over with the offer of brownie,” Athena said with a smile.

“We’ve got time, Mom,” May added, “It would be rude not to let your friend buy us coffee and a brownie,”.

“Let’s go then!” Athena agreed with a laugh.

Buck and the two Grants made their way down the street until they found a coffee shop. Coffee shops were all over in LA, you could hardly work down any street without finding at least two.

They sat in the window and Buck got Athena a latte and himself and May iced drinks that had more sugar than coffee in them, along with five different brownies for them to share between them.

“How’s life at the 118 then Buckaroo?” Athena asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Isn’t that where Hen works?” May asked, cutting a brownie in half and taking a bite.

Athena nodded and Buck answered, “It is! She is so cool! Total medical badass! She should be a doctor or something,”.

“Oh, she would be an amazing doctor!” May agreed and Buck pictured Hen in her scrubs and white coat.

“Absolutely!” Buck added before answering Athena’s question “I love it though. My Captain is amazing. A really good man,”.

“And you are doing okay? Making friends?” Athena asked and Buck was touched by how much she cared.

Buck rolled his eyes, and said dramatically, “Yes Mom, people are nice,”.

May giggled at this and Athena gave him her iconic Mom glare.

“So May, what is your Mom getting you for your birthday?” Buck asked, wanting to make sure May was included in this conversation.

The three sat and chatted for over an hour, having a second coffee and ordering one more of their favourite brownie to share. Buck also got a box for May as a birthday present which she liked. Hopefully next year he will be able to get her a proper present.

Buck loved being about to do this again. Just hang out with his family, even if they did not know that is what they were to him yet.

Athena was currently talking about the Christmas plan and what Harry was asking for and Buck made a mental note to look out for it.

Buck’s eye caught something out of the window on the street.

He stood up and rushed outside, without saying a word to Athena or May.

Frantically he looked around.

He had seen Eddie.

Eddie had been on the street.

At least Buck thought it had been Eddie.

Buck could not see him now.

It couldn’t have been Eddie. It was impossible. Eddie was in Texas. Buck’s mind must have been playing tricks on him. It was properly just a dark-haired man that looked like Eddie. It could not have actually been Eddie Diaz.

“Buck, are you okay?”

Buck stopped looking around to see that Athena was in front of him, she must have chased after him when he ran out of the coffee shop.

“Buck, what happened?” Athena asked, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”.

Buck let out a laugh. That was literally what had happened.

“Sorry,” Buck said, still looking around, hoping that Eddie would just appear, “I thought I saw someone I used to know,”.

“Buck...Are you okay?” Athena asked, clearly concerned.

“I’m okay, come on we still have brownies to eat,” Buck said and the pair walked back towards the coffee shop.

Buck stopped just before the door and looked around once more.

It could not have been Eddie. It was not possible. He just missed him and wanted to see him more than anything else.

Eddie Diaz was in Texas.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14 - The Boss

Buck was panicking. Things were not going to plan. He had bought tickets for himself and Bobby to go and see Bruce Springsteen months and months ago now. He had gotten them amazing tickets, much better than the first time around, even though it was still an amazing experience and both men had a good time. This time Buck had prepared and got some of the best tickets in the house right near the stage and he had been looking forward to it.

It was one of the first things they had ever done together just the two of them and even years later it was one of Buck’s favourite memories with Bobby.

Bobby was so important to him. Buck did not know what he would have done without Bobby or who he would have become. He knew that not many Captains would have given him a second chance that was for sure. Bobby was important. Buck loved him. He was family. Buck loved him like a Dad.

Buck also knew that the Bobby he knew felt the same about him. That Buck was just as important to him and that Bobby loved him. That Buck was like a son to him.

The problem that Buck was having was that this was a different version of Bobby. This Bobby was closed off and still wrapped up in his grief. Buck knew that pain that Bobby had gone through and he also knew that it only made him stronger. Buck was constantly amazed by how strong Bobby was with everything he had overcome. Bobby was a hero to him.

He knew it would take time to build that bond back up. That it would not happen overnight.

However, Buck needed something to happen sooner because the concert was in two weeks time and he and Bobby had not one conversation about the musical legend that was Bruce. Buck had tried, oh he had tried. He had brought up music subtlety several times and even started a conversation about who was the best musician to see live and yet Bobby had not taken the bait. He had tried humming Born to Run while they were on their way to a call out and nothing. When they cooked together Buck had even phoned up the radio station they listened to and requested Letter to You under a fake name but they had been called out before it came out.

As the concert was getting close Buck was getting stressed. He had tried to remember how it had come about the first time but his mind was just drawing a blank. Buck was stuck. He was running out of ideas

“What’s up with Buck?” Olly asked as they sat around drinking in Patty’s on a Sunday evening.

“He’s stressed because he wants to ask his boss out to a Bruce Springsteen concert but is too chicken,” Dan answered for him. Working at the 117 and dating Maddie meant that Dan had been around more than ever and now knew way too much about Buck’s life much to Buck’s mild annoyance.

“That’s not! It’s not like that, I just want to bond with the guy,” Buck said while taking a drink of his beer, he did not want to talk about this, “He’s my captain,”.

“Not all bosses are like my Dad,” Jesse pointed out, she was joining them after a long 72-hour shift at the hospital after which she had needed a stiff drink. Her hair was braided but coming loose and she was an oversize hoodie that Buck was sure belonged to Olly.

“Just ask him! No one is going to turn down tickets to see the Boss,” Will added, he had just finished work and they had bullied him into joining them for one drink before he went home to study.

“Or me and Maddie will take the tickets off your hands,” Dan offered with a grin.

“Oh yeah!” Maddie said excitedly from her spot sitting in between Will and Dan drinking her wine, “That would be an awesome date night!”.

Dan smiled and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, “The best,”.

“You’re not having the tickets,” Buck told them as he pulled a face. He still wasn’t used to seeing his sister kiss anyone but Chimney. He wondered how long they would last?

“So then just ask your boss if he wants to go and stop making a big deal out of it,” Maddie told him outright.

“Your sister is right,” Jesse agreed, raising her glass to Maddie in agreement.

“I’m leaving!” Buck announced moving out of the booth, “I’ve got a long ass shift tomorrow and I’m done with your helpful advice. Will, do you want a lift?”

“Please!” Will said and the pair got up.

“Buck!” Olly called, “Stay for one more!”.

“No way,” Buck laughed, “Maddie you staying at Dan’s?”.

“No, I’ll be home in an hour or so,” Maddie smiled at her little brother. Buck looked over at Dan to confirm he would get her home safe. At least he could trust Dan. Dan knew enough about Doug so always made sure Maddie was dropped off home and he would either walk her inside and watch the alarm go on or wait outside till he got a text.

“Let’s go,” Will added and the pair made their way out to Buck’s jeep.

“They're right you know, just ask him,” Will said before asking Buck about working a shift for him at the bar next week.

Buck knew he should just ask Bobby. That they were right but it was scary. He had already changed so much. The thought of changing his relationship with Bobby was just too much.#

-------------------------------

“Wow, Buck!” Chim commented as Buck was changing in the locker room, “That was seriously impressive today,”.

“Thanks, Chim,” Buck said, today’s big call had been a fire in an apartment building. Buck had remembered this call clearly. It had taken them ages to find a young girl who had hid in a kitchen cabinet and they had been pushing their time in the building to find her. This time Buck had looked there first and they had got out in plenty of time.

“He’s right. It’s like you knew where to look,” Hen commented, as she put on her jacket and grabbed her bag.

“Just lucky I guess,” Buck said with a shrug, “Small kids hide in small spaces when they are scared,”.

“It was a good call,” Hen told him, “See you later guys! Chim, don't forget dinner tomorrow night!”.

“I won’t!” Chim yelled as Hen left.

Buck tried to push down the hurt he felt at not being invited. It was just too soon. They were just colleagues, nowhere near dinner with the wife and kids. They would get there. He just had to be patient.

“Wanna grab a drink?” Chim asked as Buck grabbed his bag.

“Sure,” Buck said with a big smile. being patients worked.

At least Chim was warming up to him. One down. Two to go.

Buck had driven them to Patty’s knowing that if they ended up having a couple of drinks he would be fine leaving his car here overnight. It was a safer area and Marco had CCTV. Plus Buck liked being in a familiar environment.

“So you work here part-time right?” Chim asked as they walked in and he looked around.

Buck could see it was Marco behind the bar, serving drinks as they made their way over, “Sort of. I worked here while training and really liked it. Marco is a good friend of mine and he knows he can call me if they are short-staffed,”.

“Does that mean free drinks?” Chim asked with his cheeky grin. Buck had missed Chim so much, he was glad he was back in his life again.

“Marco just puts them on my tab and yet never lets me pay my tab,” Buck told him, as the man in question came over.

“Evening Buck,” Marco greeted with a fond smile as he grabbed Buck his favourite beer and placed it in front of him, “You okay kid? Who’s your friend?”

“This is Chimney, we work together,” Buck answered, as he took a drink.

“Nice to meet you,” Marco said to Chimney, putting his hand out for the other man to shake, “Drink?”

“Beer is good, whatever Buck is having,” Chim answered, “Nice to meet you too!”.

“I hope Buck isn’t causing any trouble at work?” Marco asked as he handed Chim his drink.

“Who me! Marco, you have me all wrong,” Buck exclaimed and all three men laughed, “No Will tonight?”

“Nope, he’s got a big exam in January so he’s cut back his hours,” Marco answered, as he did the typical bartender thing and began polishing glasses.

“You mean you forced him to cut back his hours,” Buck corrected with a grin “You know to call me if you are understaffed right?”

“I might actually have to hire someone,” Marco replied with a sigh, “You need time to be young. You can’t just work all the time, Evan,”.

“I know, but I’m happy to help,” Buck said firmly, “If you need me just call,”.

Marco nodded in agreement before he had to get back to work as a group of three couples just walked in.

Buck and Chim made their way to the back corner booth and sat down.

“You and Marco seem close,” Chim commented, as they got settled. “You've known him for a long time?”

“Just met him this year, but Marco is awesome,” Buck answered, “My old roommate got me the job here,”.

“The one who is dating your sister?” Chim asked curiously.

“No, that’s Dan. Will got me the job here, he’s in law school,” Buck explained, “Anyway how long have you been with the 118 now?”

“Oh…” Chim responded clearly thinking, “Years now…Feel like I've been there forever,”.
“That’s a long time! And that’s how you met Hen? You two are best friends?” Buck asked, he already knew this but needed to ask to show he was interested in getting to know Chim. He needed to at least pretend to learn the information he already knew.

“Yep, Hen is awesome!” Chim answered, “We were kind of both outsiders and bonded over that,”.

“Well I really like working with both of you,” Buck answered, “And Bobby seems like a really great Captain,”.

“The best one I’ve ever had by a clear mile,” Chim added, “We like having you around as well. Think Bobby likes having someone who can help him in the kitchen,”.

“Yeah, you are pretty useless,” Buck ribbed.

Chim laughed, raising his beer in a toast, “I’ll leave the cooking to you,”.

“And clean up to you,” Buck agreed, raising his own beer.

“What are we drinking too?” A voice asked and Buck turned to see Olly standing at the edge of the booth.

“Buck’s cooking!” Chim answered.

“Oh, you need to try his slow-cooked lamb! Crazy good!” Olly praised as he slid into the booth.

“Chim this is another one of my old roommates, Olly,” Buck introduced, “Olly this is Chimney we work together,”.

“Hey Guys,” Dan greeted as he wandered over with four beers “Hey Buck,”.

“Hey, Dan!” Chim greeted and thanked him for the beer.

“Thought you and Maddie were having a cosy night in?” Buck asked, worried about his sister alone in the 117.

“We were meant to,” Dan muttered, “Olly apparently is having a nightmare at work and needs to rant. Maddie said she was going to take a long bath and enjoy a night to herself,”.

Buck nodded and subtly texted her sister under the table just to check-in. He told himself it was not being overprotective with Doug still out there.

“You’re a bartender?” Chim asked Olly as Buck looked up from his phone to rejoin the conversation.

“Yep, I used to work with Buck and Dan at the sports bar, McClean’s till they both left me,” Olly explained as he pulled a face at the other two men.

“Aw do you miss us!” Buck teased and Dan laughed.

“Apparently he’s not making friends with the newbies,” Dan fake whispered to Buck and Chim so that Olly could clearly hear him.

“It’s just one guy! He’s a nightmare!” Olly ranted, hands waving in the air.

“How is he a nightmare?” Dan asked patiently.

“This new guy isn’t fun! Like you guys!! He’s grumpy! He barely talks!! He's super old as well. He won't even have a drink with me when we are done! Says he has to get home! He’s so lame” Olly moaned.

“You know not everyone has to be your friend right?” Dan checked, “You can just be work acquaintances with someone!”.

“Why not! I’m super likeable! Everyone likes me! I’m Mr Popular,” Olly said dramatically.

“You should leave that bar, it's a dive,” Buck told him, “Tips are awful,”.

“Didn’t Marco say he was looking for someone?” Chim suggested, thinking he was being helpful.

“He did?” Olly asked, looking between Chimney and Buck.

Buck nodded and Olly was up like a shot running over the bar shouting Marco’s name.

Dan laughed, “Poor Marco,”.

“Poor Will if Marco gives him the job” Buck added with a sip of his beer.

“Maybe Jesse will put in a good word for our Olly,” Dan said with a sip of his beer.

Buck heard something in his friend’s tone, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that Jesse and Olly text...a lot…” Dan gossiped.

“Really?” Buck replied with a smile before leaning over the Chim, “Jesse is Marco’s daughter,”.

“Yep,” Dan replied, popping the P, “He’s actually being really quiet about it which as you know isn’t like Olly,”.

“Not at all,” Buck agreed, Olly was a talker, he was an oversharer. Olly not talking clearly meant something was going on.

“How’s it going with the girl you were telling us about last time, Chimney?” Dan asked, wanting to include the man in their conversation. It was not polite to just talk about people he did not know.

“Tatiana! She’s great!” Chim said. Buck could not help but think about all the times he had listened to Chim talk about Maddie and how different he spoke about Tatiana. Barely three words whereas with Maddie you could not stop him talking about her.

“You two serious?” Dan asked, taking a drink of his beer.

“I think we might be getting there,” Chim answered with a shrug “What about you? How long have you and Maddie been together?”.

Buck took a large gulp of beer and wished it was something stronger. This was so weird.

“It’s been nearly two months,” Dan answered proudly, “Thinking of taking a long weekend soon. I recently started my own construction company so we have been super busy with that,”.

“Oh remember you saying that!” Chim said, “I meant to get your number as my friends...my family need their kitchen doing,”

Buck looked over at the bar as Chim and Dan chatted about the possible kitchen renovation, he could see Olly following Marco as he made drinks, talking a mile a minute.

Buck sighed, time travel certainly made life interesting.

“Where are Hen and Chim?” Buck asked Bobby as he walked up to him, where he was standing by the truck. They were on a call out at the park that was a medical after a BBQ had exploded due to a firework mishap. Luckily no one had been hurt too badly and there were only minor injuries.

“Just double-checking the last couple of people,” Bobby said gesturing to where they were, “Making sure no one has a concussion,”.

“I’ve just had a gas BBQ installed on my patio,” Buck commented, he was still trying to get Bobby to ask a personal question “Hope my first BBQ goes a little better than this,”.

“I’m assuming yours would be up to code,” Bobby replied, dryly.

“Pretty ironic if not, no fires at my place,” Buck said with a small chuckle, thinking about having a fire in an old firehouse.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bobby said with a little chuckle, “At my old house, we got called on to fire at one of our own, kitchen mishaps, small call out. Never let him live it down,”.

“I bet not,” Buck replied, thinking about Eddie and his famous bad cooking and countless burnt meals, luckily nothing was ever burned so much 9-1-1 had to be called.

“Poor guy,” Bobby agreed, “You did good today, kid. You’ve been doing really good work,”.

“Thank Cap!” Buck exclaimed, really happy to first of all be having an actual conversation with Bobby and to be getting praised as well. Christmas had come early.

“You are suited to this work, a little reckless maybe, but I can’t fault your instincts,” Bobby told him, “Sometimes it’s like you know what’s about to happen before it does,”.

Buck panicked. Shit.

“I’ve always had good instincts,” Buck shrugged off, “People react in similar ways when they are in danger,”.

“True,” Bobby agreed with a shrug and Buck hoped that was all was said about that.

“I really like working here,” Buck said, moving the conversation along. “You guys are really awesome,”.

“We like having you around, Buck,” Bobby smiled, “You are a good addition to the team,”.

“Listen, I was just wondering...I have an extra ticket to see Bruce Springsteen next Friday at the Greek,” Buck told him, nervously, “We’re both off,”.

Bobby looked at him and for a second Buck was sure he was about to say no. Which was ridiculous. Buck knew that wasn’t the case as he had lived this before and Bobby had said yes and they had gone and had an amazing night.

“I haven’t been to a concert in years,” Bobby mused.

“Well no one is better to see than Bruce,” Buck reminded.

“That’s true,” Bobby agreed, “I’m in,”.

“Awesome!” Buck replied, “I got great tickets!”.

“That’s great,” Bobby said with a nod, “But we should get back to work,”.

Buck smiled and walked off to go and reload to the truck, best to get out before he said something he would regret.

“Can’t wait for Friday Pops!”

Friday came and the next day Buck arrived at the 118 to find Bobby already making breakfast for the team. Buck quickly made his way over and greeted Bobby with a smile.

“Hey, kid!” Bobby greeted looking happy to see the younger firefighter and Buck’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest and Bobby’s term of affection.

“Hey, Pops,” Buck greeted back just as happy to see him.

The pair quickly got to work making breakfast. Buck wondered if Bobby found it odd how effortlessly they cooked together. That Buck knew what to do without Bobby having to ask and how they never got in each other's way. Buck wondered if to Bobby it felt like they had been cooking together for years.

Firefighter slowly began to trickle in and Buck and Bobby served food Buffet style, it was just easier with them making pancakes. Buck knew that there was no food in the world that he had cooked more than pancakes. Countless amounts of pancakes, some made this very kitchen for years to feed the ever-hungry group of firefighters, some in the loft for his sister or Taylor, but the most amount in the Diaz house. Chris and Eddie both loved his pancakes, they ate them regularly for breakfast and on special occasions for dinner. Buck remembered making pancakes for dinner the night they had told Chris they were a couple. Chris had reacted with a ‘finally’ and asked if they could have weekly pancakes for dinner when Buck moved in.

“Hey Guys!” Chim yelled over with a wave as he reached the top of the stairs with Hen by his side, “How was Bruce last night?”.

“Yeah, was it amazing?” Hen asked as well, as they came and sat at the island.

Buck grabbed them both some coffee as Bobby answered, “It was incredible! No one performs like him. Buck got the most amazing tickets! We were literally metres away from him,”.

“No way!” Chim gushed and Buck felt oddly proud of himself.

Buck put down the coffee in front of his two co-workers who smiled in thanks.

“Bobby, tell them the best bit,” Buck prompted.

“Oh yeah!” Bobby exclaimed, “Bruce crowd surfed! Like full-on dove into the crowd and we caught him! We literally held him up!”.

“Really! You gotta touch Bruce Springsteen!” Chim responded in shock.

“He crowd surfed, at his age?” Hen asked, “He’s what? Late seventies!”

“He’s not that old!” Chim argued.

“I think he’s in his early Seventies,” Bobby added, as he flipped the pancakes.

“He’s actually sixty-nine, he will be seventy next September” Buck told them, as he handed Bobby more pancake batter.

Chim got out his phone, “He’s right,”.

“Damn, Buck,” Hen added, “you're like a walking Wikipedia,”.

“I just liked to read a lot,” Buck said with a shrug, as Bobby severed the last pancake.

“Let’s eat!” Bobby announced and the conversation instantly moved on and Buck was just happy to move on and get distracted by a new topic. He wondered if the novelty would ever wear off or he would always feel this level of excitement that he now felt doing simple things for with his family. Being without them for so long and now having the back but them not knowing him in the way he knew them had shifted his perspective. He knew these were his people. They were the family he was always meant to have. They had his back and he had their backs the same way. Just because they were not yet aware of it did not make it any less true. Through the highs and the lows, he would be there for these people and they would be there for him in the same way.

This time around Buck vowed there would be fewer lows. He would protect the people he loved. He would protect his family this time around.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15 - It’s Christmas Time

December as always came around quickly and without warning. The Christmas decorations went up and plans for the holiday season were being made. Buck was both excited and dreading the holidays. He was excited to have his second first Christmas at the 118 as well as his sister and his new group of friends, but the holiday season also brought up the ever-present feeling of longing for the family he did not have.

Eddie and Christopher.

Buck missed them and the idea of spending his first Christmas in over ten years without them was heartbreaking. Christmas was a time for family so it was only natural he missed them all the more. Some of his best memories of his boys were at Christmas, decorating the tree, baking cookies, and sneaking in presents for both Christopher and Eddie.

Buck had been accused many times by Eddie of spoiling Christopher and no more so than at Christmas time. Pretty early on in their friendship, after a couple of Christmas’ together, Eddie had made a rule that he would have to approve all presents that Buck wanted to buy Chris in order to stop him from going overboard. However, this became a challenge to Buck, to sneak extra presents into the Diaz house and under the tree without Eddie noticing, the aim being that Eddie would not take a present away from Chris once the boy had opened it.

Christopher of course was delighted by the whole thing and come each Christmas morning there were always extra presents that had not been approved by Eddie. Buck's record was thirteen but his greatest achievement was the MacBook computer he had snuck in when Chris was sixteen. Chris had been ecstatic and Eddie furious. It was Buck’s best ever Christmas.

This year would be hard without them but Buck knew it would be his last without them and he could deal with that. He was very much in the mindset of focusing on what he did have rather than what he did not. What he did have was his sister back in his life, the 118, Athena and a new group of friends and that were amazing. Plus enough people for a really great Christmas party.

Buck had decided that since he would be spending most of the holidays working he would celebrate early.

Maddie would be spending Christmas away with Dan at a suite in a fancy hotel as neither of them was particularly bothered about Christmas. It would be their first trip away together as a couple.

Buck’s actual Christmas would start with a shift starting on Christmas eve morning and working all the way through till 6 pm of Christmas day. Once he got off work he needed to head to Patty’s where he had agreed to work for Marco’s lost soul’s Christmas day.

Buck had wished he had known about Marco’s lost soul Christmas the first time around. His first Christmas in LA had been a lonely affair. He had worked all the shifts he could get and had not felt any of the holiday spirit. The only highlight had been having his first-ever Christmas dinner cooked by Bobby which had been amazing. This year Buck was looking forward to helping the older man cook on Christmas day.

On top of that, he would also get to cook when he threw his big Christmas party on the Friday before Christmas. Buck was excited to have the 118 over to the 117 for the first time and for them to meet his friends. The two halves of his life coming together.

Everyone from the 118 had agreed to come. Bobby had taken a little more persuasion than the rest, but Buck had talked him round with the promise of good food. Things had been going a lot better since they had been to see Bruce Springsteen together. Once Bobby was in, everyone else quickly followed. Chim had been fast to agree, having already met some of Buck’s friends who he had liked plus he was up for the party. Hen had been happy to come once Buck had happily told her Karen and Denny were also invited, the more the merrier.

Everyone was coming and Buck was excited.

Currently, it was the week before and Buck’s night off. It was not often that he had a quiet night to himself as if he was not working his regular job he would see if Marco needed a hand. If neither of his jobs was an option then he had plenty of friends to make plans with. Tonight was not that night. Buck got home from a long shift early in the late hours of the morning and slept through the evening.

Embracing the Christmas spirit Buck decided he would make Christmas cookies. He put on some Christmas music and his softest socks to add to the cosy vibe and began gathering ingredients and began baking.

He was on his second batch, first cooling ready to decorate when Maddie got home.

“Something smells good!” Maddie said as she entered the main room of the firehouse, putting her coat and bag on one of the armchairs before crossing the room to sit at the island.

Buck smiled at her and carried on equally placing the correct amount of dough on the baking sheet.

“Is this the recipe I taught you growing up?” Maddie asked as she watched what he was doing.

Buck panicked for a second, he had no idea. It was just one he had made every year for so many years now. He had no idea where it had come from, could have been, Maddie, Bobby, Abuela or even a cookbook.

Buck went with a shrug, “I dunno, just cookies. Did you set the alarm when you came in?”.

Maddie rolled her eyes, “You worry too much. I set it,”.

“Mads, it’s important,” Buck stressed to her, turning to put the cookies in the oven and then going to get the stuff for decoration.

“I know, Evan,” Maddie replied, “I appreciate you worrying about me, but I can’t live my life in fear of Doug and him finding me. I’m building a life here,”.

“I know, and I’m glad you are happy here, glad you decided to stay,” Buck told her as he handed her some frosting and a board to decorate the cookies on, “Just set the alarm for me, just for my own peace of mind when you are here on your own…which you haven’t been much lately…”.

Maddie eyes up her little brother, “What’s that meant to mean?”

Buck went and got the cooling cookies to bring over and walked to take the seat next to his sister at the island, “Just that Dan’s been staying over a lot…”.

“Yes…is that a problem?” Maddie asked, happily taking the cookie off Buck and then grabbing the green icing sugar.

“No, as long as you are happy, I’m happy,” Buck replied, focusing on his cookie.

“Because I know he was your friend and now he’s dating your sister…”.

“Mads, I just want you to be happy and Dan makes you smile so I’m fine with you two dating, he’s a good guy,” Buck told her, trying to draw a snowman on a cookie was taking most of his focus.

“And you are okay with me going away with him for Christmas?” Maddie asked as she took another cookie to decorate.

Buck sighed, this was the third time she had asked him, “Mads, it’s fine, I told you I'm working anyway. We are celebrating early and if I'm not working next year we can be together. Buckley family Christmas,”.

Buck could see it now, with the main draw of focus being Eddie and Christopher being there.

“I love that you have gone all out with the decoration,” Maddie smiled. Buck had indeed gone all out, with the high ceiling he had gone with a 9ft tree and garland all around the windows. He had gone shopping with Keria and Olly for the decorations and they had everyone over to help decorate.

“First year I've had a place to decorate and people to celebrate with,” Buck replied, thinking it was actually more like he was used to in the future.

“Well the place looks amazing,” Maddie complimented.

“Thanks, Mads,” Buck responded, “I just want the party to go well,”.

“It’s gonna be a good party, Buck,”.

---------------------

It was the night of the party and Buck was in his element. No one had arrived yet and he was just surveying the 117. He had gone all out decorating, taking advantage of the firehouse’s tall ceiling to get the biggest tree he could find. The thing was at least 9ft and they had needed three sets of lights and a ladder to decorate it.

The 117 was looking amazing. It was slowly filling up with stuff and becoming more like home every day. Having all the Christmas decorations helped make the space feel full and homey.

It was just past 8 pm which was the time Buck had told everyone to arrive but everyone knew no one arrived bang on time to a party. Still, everything was ready. At least Buck thought it was.

He grabbed his clipboard off the bar and quickly looked over his list

It read.

Buck’s to-do-list

Stock the bar (non-alcoholic options)
Food prep - Nibbles, roasted pork, mac and cheese
Music - two playlists - mingling/dancing
Ice - Olly is bringing - text to remind

Buck nodded, drinks were done, music was on, food was set out or kept warm in the oven. Olly had texted him a picture of the ice and he was on his way.

Everything was set up.

Buck smiled and grabbed a beer from the large ice bucket on the island. He took a sip and looked around at all his hard work. Everything looks amazing.

This was the first time most of the 118 would meet his friend and the first time anyone of them would see the 119. It felt like a big night, a lot was riding on it..

“This place looks amazing!” Maddie gushed, she looked amazing in a long-sleeved red dress that cut off just above the knee, “And smells amazing, still can’t believe how delicious your food is!”.

“Mads, you look beautiful!” Buck replied, standing up and walking over and dropping a kiss on her cheek, “Drink?”

“Wine please!” Maddie answered and Buck nodded and got to pouring, “Did you make the mac and cheese?”

“Yep, there is a big tray in the oven that should feed everyone,” Buck answered as he handed over her drink.

Maddie took the drink but did not take a sip or reply. She simply stared at her baby brother with a raised eyebrow.

Buck sighed and smiled, “And a smaller one in the fridge that you can heat up tomorrow,”

“Best brother ever,” Maddie beamed a smile at her brother.

“Are you excited about your trip?” Buck asked, he still found it weird to see Maddie with someone who was not Chim. In his mind, they had been together for years and were soulmates. He liked Dan and he especially liked how happy Dan made Maddie, but he knew it would not last. Maddie did not laugh as much with Dan as she had with Chimney. Chimney and her had been annoyingly perfect together, they had liked each other so much. There was no one in the world the other would rather spend time with. While Dan and Maddie were cute and a nice couple to Buck it would always be Maddie and Chimney.

Still, Dan was a massive step up from Doug. Buck could see that as Maddie happily and excitedly told Buck about the trip they were taking over Christmas. Dan’s business was doing very well for being so young and he was spending the first profit on this trip. Maddie was telling Buck all about the hotel they were staying at when her phone buzzed.

“Speak on the devil,” Maddie said as she put her phone down, “He’s downstairs unloading the ice with Olly. Said they’d bring some up and leave the rest in the buckets down there,”.

Before Buck could respond the door buzzed and it was Athena with May and Harry but no Michael. Buck buzzed them in and introduced the kids to Maddie. Olly and Dan came up and Olly immediately jumped behind Buck’s new bar, which was a thing of beauty. Olly declared himself bartender and got Athena a glass of wine and made both Harry and May some fancy Mocktails.

“Buckaroo! This place looks amazing!” Athena gushed as she looked around him.

“Thank you and thanks for coming, all of you,” Buck told her as she both stood by the large windows that looked out onto the street.

“Thank you for having us,” Athena replied, “Michael had to work but Harry has been so excited to come and see the firehouse after everything you’ve told him about the place,”.

“Think he was still disappointed there was no pole, you’ll have to bring him by the 118 one of these days, see a working firehouse,” Buck told her before asking, “How’s May?”

“You know, she’s a teenager,” Athena answered, “Mood changes daily,”.

Next to arrive was Keira and her daughter Lizzie, who immediately went into her Uncle's arms behind the bar. Olly let her shake the ice. Keira made her way over to Maddie and Dan to talk about a fixer-upper that she had just sold and the owners needed someone to do the work. It would be a big project that would take them into March.

Marco, Jesse and Will all arrived together and joined Buck in conversation. Luckily Olly made sure everyone had drinks and Maddie let any more guests who had arrived in.

Just as Marco left Buck to go and check in on Jesse who was watching Olly entertain Lizzie and Harry, Buck saw Hen and Chimney had arrived. He was excited to show his teammates the firehouse.

“Hen! Chim! You guys made it!” Buck greeted them happily as he walked over.

“Buck! This place is amazing!” Hen greeted Buck, with Karen and Denny on either side of her and Chim to their left stood next to Maddie.

“You live in an old firehouse!” Chimney told him as if Buck might not have been aware, “That’s actually crazy. Which came first, the job or the house?”

Buck laughed, “The two kind of overlapped,”.

“Well it’s a stunning place,” Karen said and Buck had to remember this was the first time she had ever met him.

“Thank you! You must be Karen! It’s nice to meet you,” Buck replied, as he leaned in to drop a kiss to her cheek. One more member of his family is back in his life. He then leaned down, “Nice to meet you as well, Denny,”.

“Hello!” Denny greeted Buck. Buck did not think Denny remembered him for all those months ago when they had bumped into each other in Target.

“My friend Olly is over there with Lizzie and Harry if you want to go and play,” Buck replied to Denny, “Think they are making cocktails,”.

Denny looked up at his Mom’s who nodded before the young boy ran off.

“Hen!” Athena shouted, “Karen, come get a drink”.

“Athena?” Hen asked and she and Karen made their way over to the cop, leaving Buck with Chim, “What are you doing here? Do you know Buck?”.

“You live in a firehouse,” Chimney repeated, “You do realise that’s kinda mental?”

“But cool right?” Buck checked and Chimney laughed in agreement. Buck knew it would be Chimney would be most impressed with the 117.

“It sure is,” Chimney agreed, “No Cap yet?”

Buck shook his head, he was hoping the older man would show, but knew not to get his hopes up as there was a real chance that Bobby could change his mind and not end up coming to the party.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” Chimney reassured, patting Buck on the arm before walking to say hello to a few of the other members of the 118 who were eating some of the nibbles.

Buck watched him go happy to see that Will and Marco were also there and chatting along. It was nice to see the areas of his life all coming together. Buck looked around and saw all aspects of his life mingling together. Olly was entertaining the kids and telling them a story that had them all giggling. Maddie and Dan had just gone to open the door as more people arrived. Buck could not believe how many people were there. It was hard to keep track. There were his new friends he had met, as well as most of the 118 and everyone who worked for Dan and everyone who worked at Patty’s.

The place was filled with people and their laughter. It made Buck feel warm inside. He had been placed in an impossible situation and yet he had made the best out of it and looked where he was now. In the 117 surrounded by amazing friends and so many members of his family back.

Just like last time he had thrown a party, Buck could not help but think about the people who were not here. There were so many people who had yet to come back into his life, Albert, Ravi, Carla, David…so many who would come back into this life. However it was not those people Buck missed in the depth of his soul, that was always Eddie and Christopher.

Buck could imagine Christopher being sat with the other children laughing along with them as Olly did some bad close up magic trick he had been practising. Christopher would have definitely liked that.

He could also see Eddie fitting in at the party as well. Chatting with Chimney, Marco and Will and the other members of the 118 or with the parents watching fondly as Olly made the kids laugh.

Next year, Buck thought.

Next year Eddie and Christopher would be here too and he would have his boys back.

“Quite a party you throw here Buckaroo,” A voice said that broke Buck out of his thoughts.

“Athena!” Buck smiled happily, “Are you having a good time?”.

“I am,” Athena nodded, “You throw a hell of a party,”.

Buck beamed under her words, they meant a lot given that everything he knew about throwing a family party came from the many she and Bobby had thrown. Before that Buck had been a part of a close-knit family.

“Your kids having a good time?” Buck asked.

“Yep, Harry is happy with Denny here and your friends seem happy to keep them entertained,” Athena replied, looking over to where Olly and Jesse were trying to teach the kids some dance moves, “And May has been talking to your sister for ages about the Nursing school, maybe she will follow your sister’s footsteps job wises,”.

Buck smiled at how true that phrase would become, but just in a different area of work, “I’m glad. Everyone seems to be getting on,”.

Buck watched as Dan went down to let some more people arrive. Buck had never expected so many people to turn up. It was amazing.

“Buck you’ve got another guest,” Maddie called from the doorway.

Buck looked over to see Bobby standing by his sister. Bobby had actually come to the party, this was big.

“Cap you came!” Buck exclaimed as Bobby walked over to them.

“I said I would,” Bobby replied, “This is quite a place!”

“Right,” Athena added with a laugh, “Perfect place for a probie firefighter right…nice to see you again, Captain Nash,”.

“And you as well Sargent Grant,” Bobby replied, “How do you know firefighter Buckley?”

“Oh the young Mr Buckley and Iare old friends,” Athena answered with a sly smile towards Buck, “Regularly helps me take down the hardest of criminals,”.

Buck felt like Marty Mcfly watching Bobby and Athena chat like this. They were the closest thing he had ever had to real normal loving parents, ones that worry about you and show up when you are hurt and then yell at you for being so stupid and reckless. That was who Bobby and Athena were to him, only now they were not yet the couple who were like parents to him. They were basically strangers, to people whose paths sometimes crossed at work. They were not Bobby and Athena, the best couple Buck knew, not yet.

“I brought a plate of my mini pork bite…I gave them to the girl who showed me in…I didn’t get a name…” Bobby said to Buck.

“That was my sister, Maddie,” Buck told his captain, “She will have put it with the other food…Let me get you a drink Cap…”

“I’ll make sure Captain Nash gets a drink, Buck,” Athena told him, “You go and get the door, more guests for you,”.

Buck did as he was told and went to greet more of his guests and Athena led Bobby over to get a drink.

Hours later and more drinks had been made and the majority of the food eaten, everyone was dancing and being merry.

That was the word to describe the mood. Merry. Also joyful. Everyone was feeling full of the festive spirit.

It was the happiest Buck had felt since first arriving in the past.

Will had found himself behind the bar and began making the most amazing cocktails that had taken all the over twenty-one very much into the merry and joyful territory.

“Buck!” Keria called him over.

Buck walked over and the second he was in reach found Keira’s arm’s wrapped around him in a massive hug. Always happy to be hugged, Buck copied her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug back.

When they broke Buck asked what the hug was for.

“I’m just happy for you,” Keira answered, “I normally sell people their dream home but never get to see this part of it. It’s nice to see you happy in it,”.

With that, Keria disappeared over to the bar where her brother was helping Will with making another round of cocktails.

“I need more Ice,” Olly called out, way too close to Will’s ear.

“I’ll grab you some” Dan offered from where he had stood at the end of the bar with his arms around Maddie as they kissed.

Dan ran downstairs to grab the ice and Maddie made her way over to her brother.

“I don’t know how many more of Olly’s cocktails I can take,” Maddie told him with a giggle.

“Don’t worry,” Buck replied, “Will’s been making them weaker and weaker so people don’t get too drunk,”.

“That’s smart,” Maddie added, “Hell of a party you have here. These are good people,”.

“They are,” Buck agreed, “Feels like the people we were always meant to find. Working with Bobby and Chim and Hen…it’s right. It’s my place…there are my people,”.

“I’m glad you found them,” Maddie told him.

“I’m glad you came and found me,” Buck replied.

“Buck!” Keria shouted, “Lizzie’s basically asleep, can I put her in the guest room?”.

“Course you know where it is!” Buck replied back, “It’s all set up. Harry and Denny are welcome to it as well,”.

“No way!” Harry yelled.

“I’m not sleepy!” Denny added on.

All three mothers made their way over to their kids to negotiate how much longer they could stay at the party. Buck left them to it. He would save his negotiation skills for Christopher.

Buck refilled a couple of the bowls of snacks before being drawn into a conversation with Chim, a bartender from Patty’s and a couple of members of the 118 about the latest blockbuster film and the TV show spin-off.

“Where is Dan with this ice?” Buck heard Olly exclaim from the bar.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go check,” Will offered, but Maddie beat him to it.

“I’ll go, Will,” Maddie cut in, “He’ll have got distracted with someone work-related downstairs,”.

Maddie headed out the door and Buck heard the lift arrive.

“Will’s business must be going well then?” Jesse asked Buck.

“Seems to be,” Buck answered, as Will handed them both another beer and joined their conversation.

“He’s certainly grown up recently,” Will added on, taking a long drink of his beer.

“He and Maddie are a good team,” Jesse said as she also took a drink of her beer, “How are you doing with your friend dating your sister?”.

“I’m fine with it,” Buck answered, he could not exactly explain the reason he was so fine with it was that he knew it would not last, “Dan makes her happy and Maddie deserves to be happy,”.

“What about your happiness Buck?” Jesse asked, “Are you dating anyone?”.

“I think Maddie and Dan need help with that ice…” Buck replied, but Jesse grabbed his arm to keep him in place.

“Buck doesn’t date” Will answered, smiling wickedly at Buck, happily teasing his friend.

“Why not?” Jesse asked, “Because there is this new nurse at the hospital who I think would be perfect for you. She’s super funny and also stunning. She’s new in town and looking to meet new people…”,

“Thank you, Jesse,” Buck told her, “But with the new job, I’m not really looking at meeting anyone right now…dating isn’t really my priority right now,”.

“I’m not saying you have to marry her, Buck,” Jesse said, “But take her out for a drink…don’t let your dating skills get rusty,”.

“My dating skills are fine,” Buck replied, thinking of the last date he had gone on with Eddie, he hoped his dating skills would not actually be too rusty by the time he got to taking Eddie out on their second first date.

“You sure about that, Buck,” Will teased.

“When was the last time you went on a date, William,” Buck shot back, “Maybe that’s a can of worms you want to keep shut,”.

“Maybe it was more recent than you think,” Will replied with a wink before walking off.

Buck tried to catch up with his friend but found himself with Bobby, Hen and Chimney all in front of him.

“You’ve thrown a great party here, Buckley,” Bobby told him, now on the one hand Buck was made up with a compliment from Bobby however he would much rather the older man-call him Buck when they were not on a call at work.

“Thanks, Pops,” Buck replied, “Seems like everyone is having an amazing time,”.

“I’m still not exactly sure how you and Athena became such good friends…” Hen said, “She asked me to look out for you,”.

“Athena worries about me,” Buck replied with a shrug, not answering Hen’s question.

Buck could see Hen eying him up as she tried to figure out the relationship between himself and Athena. A relationship that they had not had the first time around. This time Buck had joined the 118 with Athena Grant as his friend already. There was no tense start to their friendship this time around.

“Right! I’m going to take off. It’s getting kinda late,” Bobby announced.

“Past your bedtime, Cap,” Chim teased lightly.

“Parties aren’t really my scene, but I'm glad I came,” Bobby replied in jest, “Hen, I’m trusting you to keep everyone in line. No hungover firefighter’s tomorrow please,”.

“You got it, Cap,” Hen agreed before she turned around and yelled, “Hendrix! Martins! That better not be tequila you have there! I know you both start at 8 am for a 24-hour shift,”.

“Think the team is in safe hands, Bobby,” Chim said with a smile as they watched Hen take the shots off the fighters and saw her take one and hand the other to Karen.

“I’ll walk you out, Cap,” Buck offered.

“Thank’s Buck,” Bobby said as he waved to Chim and the pair walked into the hallway and made their way to the elevator. Buck lifted the door up so they could both get inside.

“This original?” Bobby asked, looking around at the old panel.

“Yep, when I got the place I knew I wanted to keep as much as the original features as possible,” Buck answered as he reached the ground floor and Buck opened up the lift.

“And it’s all up to code?” Bobby asked with a raised eyebrow. Buck tried not to be offended at Bobby’s suggestion that Buck would skip over sections and live anywhere that was not up to code. He reminded himself that to this Bobby did not know him yet, and that to Bobby he looked like a reckless kid with no real responsibility.

“It’s all up to code and above,” Buck answered, as they walked out the elevator, “Got the best security system I could, the lift got fully rewired and everything is up to code. My family lives here…keeping Maddie safe is important to me…it’s the most…Did you hear that?”

Bobby and Buck both stopped by the door that led out to the street and the door to the garage which had Dan’s office and the gym in it. Buck had heard what he sure was a grunt.

Buck tried to remember if he had seen Dan and Maddie come back upstairs after they went to find ice. He was sure that they had not come back. Logically Buck knew it was most likely that had snuck away from the party for some time alone and got...caught up and Buck did not want to think of his sister having a quickie with her boyfriend downstairs and that was likely the sound he had just heard.

However, there was a part of him, deep down his gut telling him he needed to open that door to the garage and check. His gut was telling him to check.

Buck locked eyes with Bobby and moved towards the door.

It seemed Bobby and Buck still had some form of a bond as Bobby noticed the shift in mood in his newest addition to the 118. Buck nodded and Bobby opened the door.

Nothing could have prepared Buck for what he saw.

Dan was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

Maddie was crying silently, a bruise already forming on her face.

Doug was still behind her holding a gun to her head.

“Shut the door, Evan,” Doug’s cool voice said calmly.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16 - A Very Bloody Christmas

Buck was frozen in the doorway. How could he have let this happen? He was meant to have kept Maddie safe? Yet here Doug was with a gun to her head in his home. This place was meant to be safe.

Buck wanted to do something. He needed to do something.

He wanted to shout to the small army of first responders that were upstairs for help to alert them to the situation.

He had to do something. His brain was working overtime. He wanted to hurt Doug and get him away from his sister, but the gun was pressed against the back of her head. There was no one he could do anything without risking Maddie.

“Shut the door, Evan!” Doug repeated, before leaning into and whispering in Maddie’s ear who was silently crying. “Your brother always was a little slow,”.

Buck looked directly at his sister hoping that with a look he could tell her that everything would be okay and that he would find a way to protect her and get her away from Doug. Ignoring Doug, Buck just stared into Maddie’s eyes, she looked terrified, so scared. How could he have let this happen? Buck felt a hand on his back gently push him into the garage and he heard the door shut behind him.

Bobby, Buck remembered. Bobby was here.

“My name is Captain Bobby Nash of the 118,” Bobby said calmly towards Doug, “Can I help? What’s the problem?”

Buck stared at Doug, he had never hated someone so much as he did this man. What he hated more though was the terrified look on Maddie’s face. Buck could only imagine what had happened before he had arrived that had led to Dan bleeding out of the floor and Maddie held at gunpoint.

“I want you both over there,” Doug barked, pointing towards the far wall, away from the door but still in his eyesight, “Sitting down hands on your heads,”.

Neither man moved.

“That man needs medical attention,” Bobby spoke to Doug.

Buck looked at his friend Dan, his red blood spreading out over the old grey concrete. Why did this happen like this? A different version of the same events, Maddie’s boyfriend hurt by her ex-husband and Maddie in his arms in danger. How could he have failed to stop this from happening? This was his fault. He allowed this to happen.

“Sit down!” Doug bellowed, but he was clearly being careful not to make too much noise, “Unless you want Maddie here to get hurt,”.

“I’m going to kill you,” Buck threatened Doug darkly, truly believing every word he said. This was his fault, if Dan died that would be on him? He could have stopped this. If Maddie got hurt…Buck was not going to let that happen.

Doug laughed, “Oh Evan. You always were so dramatic…yet useless. You go sit quietly in the corner and don’t cause any trouble now,”.

Buck felt Bobby guide him to the wall and help him sit down before Bobby sat down next to him.

Doug nodded, before dragging Maddie towards one of the truck’s sat in the garage as he checked if any of the doors were open.

“Who is he?” Bobby whispered to Buck.

“Doug, Maddie’s abusive husband…,” Buck whispered back, he was looking at Bobby but trying to see what Doug was doing. They had gone behind the jeep and out of sight. Buck wanted to get up but there was a gun.

“Do you have your phone?” Bobby asked, clearly thinking they could send an SOS text.

Buck shook his head, it was upstairs playing music.

“Get in the car, Maddie,” Buck heard Doug shout, “Unless you want the next bullet to go into your little brother,”

Buck heard a sob come out his sister's mouth and he jumped to his feet right as the car door slammed shut. Bobby tried to grab him but Buck was already up.

However, he was not fast enough. Doug walked back into sight and lifted the Gun right at him when Buck had moved, “Thought I told you to sit still, you never were good at doing as you were told, Evan,”.

“Let Maddie go now!” Buck ordered, he was not about to let Doug drive off with Maddie. No chance in hell that was going to happen.

“Stay where you are,” Doug said, moving the gun to point at Bobby and then back at Buck, “I have no problem shooting both of you other than it being a waste of bullets,”.

Buck watched Doug keep the gun pointed at him while he moved towards Dan. Doug bent down and for a second Buck thought he was going to help Dan and stop the bleeding before Doug stood up only now he had the gun in one hand and Dan's truck keys in the other.

Buck knew what was about to happen, Doug had Maddie and now he had a means of escape. The only loose ends were himself and Bobby, they were in danger. Doug had already shot Dan, who could already be dead for all Buck knew, what was two more bodies. Buck needed to do something now before Doug hurt Bobby and left with Maddie.

“You can’t get out,” Buck told Doug who moved close to Buck and had the gun pointed directly at his face, “Door needs a code and I'm not giving you the code while Maddie is in the truck. Let Maddie out and get in the truck and I'll open the door and you can go. We won’t come after you, our priority will be Dan,”.

“I’m not leaving without my wife,” Doug said firmly, moving right in front of Buck with the gun pointing right out his head.

“You aren’t leaving with my sister, Doug. There are a lot of people here, someone is gonna notice we are gone. There are cops upstairs. Take my offer and go now,” Buck told him back, sounding much braver than he was feeling with a gun to his head, “I’ve left her with you before, never again,”.

“Code, Evan, now,” Doug demanded and Buck felt a shock of pain across the left side of his face as Doug hit him with the end of the gun, “Or else I’ll shoot your friend here,”.

The gun was moved off Buck and onto Bobby who was standing just behind him.

Buck did not turn to look at Bobby. He could feel a trickle of blood down his face and could taste the blood hit his lip. The pain was sharp and Buck knew that the situation was getting worse by the second.

Buck was not about to let Bobby get shot again…well technically this would be the first time but still, Buck could not stand by and watch someone he loved get shot in front of him. He had done that before and he was not letting it happen again. That was not something he was going to let happen.

“Okay, Doug,” Buck said with a sigh, he quickly wiped the wound on his head, he hoped it was not deep, the last thing he needed was him passing out, “Panel is over by that door, it’s red,”

Doug walked over, keeping the gun by his side. Buck thought about tackling him but it felt too risky, partially with his head he would be moving slowly.

“Code?” Doug asked once he was there.

“It’s 2-3-0-9-2-0-1-…9,” Buck told him, pausing before he said the last number. The code went in and the machine beeped, “You’ll be able to just push the door open or use the switch now,”.

Doug moved back towards Buck and Bobby. This was bad. Buck knew Doug was ready to leave with Maddie now. They were running out of time.

“You don’t need to do this Doug,” Bobby said, “You don’t want to hurt anyone else…there are first responders upstairs who will come and check what’s going on any second. You need to let Maddie go and run. It’s the only way you are getting out of here,”.

Doug seemed to actually be listening to Bobby and Buck felt a flicker of hope.

“You can run and go, like Buck said we aren't going to follow, our priority will be Dan,” Bobby carried on.

“I’m leaving with Maddie,” Doug said but something had changed as he looked around. He walked to the shelves that were filled with Dan’s tools.

“What are you doing?” Buck asked out loud, he only meant to say it in his head. Clearly, his head was not okay. His head was fuzzy.

Doug turned around with a roll of masking tape. He was going to tie them up and not shoot them.

“Any trouble and I'll shoot you both,” Doug threatened as he walked towards them. “Sit down Buckley and put your hands above your head,”.

Doug shoved Buck so he fell back and landed next to Bobby who looked at him with concerned eyes.

Doug leant down and covered Bobby’s mouth with a tape and then moved to do the same for his hands and feet. The gun was now down at his side and not held as tightly.

Buck looked on knowing he was next but he did not know what he could do.

“Your turn Evan,” Doug said just before the tape went over his mouth. Buck decided he had to try something, so he quickly jumped up and tackled Doug to the ground, letting out the loudest scream he could, hoping someone would hear it from upstairs.

Doug let out a grunt and immediately raised his fist to punch Buck where he was bleeding.

Buck felt another shot of pain and was thrown backwards.

Before he could jump up Doug was standing up above him with the gun pointed directly at his chest and his finger on the trigger.

“You never could do as you were told,” Doug muttered and Buck closed his eyes and thought of Eddie and Christopher and how he had failed and now might die without ever getting to reunite with his boys.

He prayed to whoever was listening that someone would hear the gunshot and come and save Maddie. He needed his sister to be okay. If he would die then Maddie needed to live.

If there was any kind of afterlife, Buck hoped he would be able to spend it with his Eddie. That Eddie would be waiting for him in death.

3…2…1…and Buck heard a grunt.

His eyes opened and he saw Doug fall to the ground and there was Chimney.

Chimney stood holding a mental bar and had knocked Doug out clean.

“Buck, you okay?” Chim asked, bending down next to him.

“Chim..” Buck gasped, was this real? Was Chimney really there?

All of a sudden there were people everywhere. Hen and Jesse were running past him and towards Dan, hopefully, he was still alive. Buck could see Athena kicked the gun away from Doug before handcuffing him despite him being knocked out, Chimney clearly had a good swing. Buck could see Will and maybe Olly untying Bobby.

“Buck, where is Maddie?” Athena asked, snapping Buck out of his fuzzy state.

The truck.

Buck jumped up and ran towards Dan’s truck and swung open the passenger seat door. Maddie was there with a matching wound to his, handcuffed to the wheel and gagged, her face covered in a mixture of tears and blood.

Buck removed the gag and Maddie left out a sob and a cry before calling out, “Evan!”.

“It’s okay…we’ve got him. Doug is not going to hurt you. Help is here,” Buck told her, pulling into his arms the best he could, they needed to get her unlocked. He was not ready to let her go just yet and Maddie seemed to agree, clinging to him the best she could, “You’re safe. I’ve got you,”.

Buck just kept holding her and whispering words of comfort, unsure what he was even really saying. He just knew that they were safe. Maddie was safe. They were okay.

Like the actual goddess that she was, Athena came up a few minutes later and tapped Buck on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Here you go,” Athena said as she handed Buck a small key. Buck took it and quickly uncuffed Maddie, “Let you get you upstairs,”.

Buck helped Maddie out of the truck and moved her around. Buck wondered where Doug was but trusted Athena would have it handled.

As they rounded the back of the truck Buck caught sight of Dan lying on the floor with Hen and Jesse over him and a couple of other paramedics from the 118 helping as well. Buck tried to block Maddie from seeing but he was too slow.

“Dan..” Maddie cried and tried to move towards him, but Buck kept his grip.

“He’s alive,” Athena said, stepping in front of Maddie forcing her to look at her and not over at Dan, “Ambulance is on its way. Dan is being looked after. We need to get you upstairs and looked after,”.

Maddie nodded and did as she was told, which most people did when it was Athena Grant telling them to do so. Buck led her out the room and up in the elevator, keeping her pulled in close at his side with her arms locked tightly around him. They went all the way to the top floor and Buck paused before leading Maddie into her own bedroom and switching on the rock salt lamp giving the room a soft orange glow.

“Police are on their way……then I’ll send someone to patch you both up,” Athena said, clearly feeling bad for asking with Maddie still visibly upset, “We’ll need to get a statement when the police arrive,”.

Buck nodded and smiled at Athena, “Thank you,”.

Athena nodded and left the Buckley siblings for a moment alone before they were needed for statement and taken to hospital.

Once they were alone Buck crouched in front of his sister.

“I’m so sorry, Mads…” Buck began, the guilt at what had happened, “I was meant to keep you safe…protect you,”.

“You did…” Maddie whispers, “He didn’t get me…you came and saved me,”.

“Think Chim did most of the saving,” Buck corrected and lifted his head to look at the cut on Maddie’s head that looked to have stopped bleeding, it was now just a lot of dry blood on her face, “He hurt you,”.

“And you,” Maddie echoed looking at Buck’s own head wound which was still bleeding.

“I’m okay,” Buck told her, pulling her close and dropping a kiss to the side of her head.

“Dan…” Maddie said her hands grabbing Buck’s shift and holding on tight to him, “Doug shot him…I went to check on Dan and Doug…he had Dan…and Dan tried to stop Doug and that’s when he…shot…he shot him, Evan,”.

“Jesse and Hen and looking after Dan, he’s in the best hands he can be,” Buck tried to comfort his sister, but he was just as worried about his friend who he had introduced to his sister. Dan was hurt because of Buck. The first time around Dan had not been shot because Buck had not dragged him into his family drama. If Buck had left Dan alone and not become friends Dan would be fine not potentially bleeding out two floors below them, “He’ll be okay. We’re okay,”.

“He has to be, this is my fault…I should have known Doug wouldn’t let me go….that he would find me,” Maddie confessed, a new batch of tears coming with her statement.

It wasn’t Maddie’s fault, Buck thought. She had not known for sure that Doug would come after her.

But he had.

He had known that Doug would come after Maddie. He had known it and yet he had done nothing to stop it. Well, he had not done enough anyway. Doug had not taken Maddie like last time but it seemed that history was destined to repeat itself in the same way. Doug had found Maddie and hurt her boyfriend just like last time. Only it had been Dan and not Chimney. Buck should have known that Dan would have been a target of Doug, but he had never thought to warn Dan. Maybe he should have tried harder to keep them apart and that would have stopped Dan from getting hurt and Maddie’s guilt over it now.

Dan had made her happy and Buck was a sucker when it came to his sister’s happiness. Dan had made her smile and laugh. Now though Buck did not know why he had put Maddie’s happiness above her safely. At the end of the day, he needed to keep her safe.

He knew Doug had a jealous streak and was controlling over what he deemed his and in Doug’s mind, Maddie was his. Buck should have known that Dan would have ended up hurt.

Buck’s downward spiral was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Buck and Maddie looked up to see Chimney in the doorway, med bag on his shoulder.

“Athena sent me to patch you up before the police get here,” Chim said, not coming into the door.

Buck pulled Maddie closer for a quick hug before standing up and walking towards Chimney.

As soon as Buck reached the other man he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Somewhere in Buck’s mind, he noted that this was the first time he was hugging Chim in this timeline. He hugged him tight and without breaking the hug he said, “Thank you. You save us,”.

Chimney hugged him back just as tight, clearly accepting the hug for what it was.

As the hug broke, Maddie spoke up, “You saved us?”

Buck turned and realised Maddie did not know the man in her room was the man who stopped Doug from killing her brother.

“He knocked Doug clean out with a pipe,” Buck told his sister, happily boasting about the man who would marry her one day, “It saved my life, Mads. He stopped Doug from taking you and killing me,”.

Much like her brother had done a couple of seconds ago Maddie rose from the bed and walked over and hugged Chimney. Despite not being as tall as her brother Maddie still did a good job of engulfing the man in a bone-crushing hug. Also like with Buck Chim went with the hug and hugged Maddie back.

Buck watched on as they hugged, thinking about all the history they shared and how it was all to come this time. Their story might be playing out differently this time but Buck knew the ending and that was them together and happier than they had ever been before in their lives.

Maddie had tucked herself in and wrapped herself around Chimney and Buck felt like he was watching something special. Their first ever hug.

The hug ended and Maddie said, “You saved my little brother’s life…I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that,”.

“It’s okay…Buck’s kinda the whole station's little brother,” Chim replied with an affectionate smile towards Buck, “Our job is to look out for him…speaking of which let me check out that head wound,”.

“Maddie first,” Buck insisted, as Chim grabbed his bag.

“No, you’re still bleeding, Evan,” Maddie said at the same time Chimney said, “Buck, you are bleeding,”.

Buck smiled at the two and held up his hands, he was old enough to know when to give in.

“Sit on the bed,” Chimney ordered and Buck did as he was told and Chim began looking at Buck’s head.

“I’ll get you some water to clean the wound,” Maddie offered before disappearing into the bathroom.

“Pain?” Chim asked as he got some supplies out of his bag.

Buck shook his pain, he was not in any pain but knew that was most likely due to adrenaline running through his system.

“Dan?” Buck asked in return.

“There was a pulse, but he’d lost a lot of blood,” Chim said, speaking softly so Maddie would not overhear.

Buck nodded again as Maddie came out and handed the water to Chimney before sitting down on the bed next to Buck and taking his hand.

“It’s deep,” Chim said after the three sat in silence for a short time as Chim cleaned the blood off Buck’s head, all just processing what had just happened, “And still bleeding,”.

“He’s always been that way, blood pours out of him, ever since he was a kid,” Maddie chipped in lightly. Buck was about to make a joke about blood thinner but caught himself and stopped the words coming out of his mouth.

“You’re going to need stitches,” Chim told Buck seriously as he packaged the wound, “Looks like you are going to the hospital,”.

“Nah, just put a butterfly bandage on it,” Buck replied quickly, he had yet to be admitted to this hospital yet and today was not the day he intended to break that streak. This time around Buck was planning to avoid being sent to the hospital.

“For the blood pouring out of your head?” Chimney shot back, “Hospital, stitches,”.

Buck groaned and Chim covered the wound to try and stop the bleeding, it was not heavy but it was a deeper cut that he liked. Buck knew Chimney was right and he would need to go to the hospital but he just felt like there was so much to do. He knew without a doubt that Athena and Bobby would have taken over downstairs but he felt that it was his mess and he should be cleaning it up.

“You are going to the hospital and getting checked out, Evan,” Maddie added on and Buck knew he was not going to win this one.

Buck nodded, “We’ll head there after you get cleaned up,”.

“Check on, Dan,” Maddie echoed.

“I’m gonna go and check-in downstairs,” Buck said with a nod to Maddie’s statement, “Find out what’s going on,”.

Buck got up and watched as Chimney began to look at Maddie’s wound. Buck was glad to know she was in safe hands. Chimney would look after her, Buck knew that. Even if Chimney did not know who Maddie was to him yet, he would still stay with her and make sure she was okay because that was the kind of man he was. He was good and loyal and Buck trusted him to take care of Maddie even when they were strangers.

“Evan…” Maddie said just before he walked out the door, Buck turned around and locked eyes with his big sister, “I love you,”.

“I love you too,” Buck repeated back before he actually left the room.

He went downstairs where he could see Bobby talking with Athena as Marco cleaned up the kitchen. The place looked so different to the last time Buck had been in this room. It had been filled with his friend and family and joy and laughter as they drank and danced. Now the place was basically empty with just the mess left behind.

“Is everybody okay?” Buck asked, just wanting to know that the people he loved were safe.

Athena nodded, “Karen took all the kids home, apart from Lizzie who left with Keria. Olly and Will went to the hospital to check on Dan…”.

“Is Dan…?” Buck asked, not bringing himself to actually say the word and just hoping that someone would answer without him actually having to say anything more.

“He’s alive,” Bobby nodded, “Hen and…Jesse had a pulse when the ambulance arrived. Jesse went with him,”.

“Are you okay, Bobby?” Buck asked, he hated that Bobby had been dragged into his family drama and nearly been shot and all because Buck had wanted to celebrate Christmas with him. Bobby had not even wanted to come to the party but had to twist his arm to get him to agree and look at what happened.

“I’m fine, kid,” Bobby answered, “Not a scratch on me…I’ve already spoken to the police…”.

“Who is downstairs and want to speak to you,” Athena chipped in, “I can talk to them for you…see if they can wait till tomorrow,”.

“No, it’s fine, I can talk to them now,” Buck told her with a nod, “Maybe they might have to wait to speak to Maddie. She’ll want to get to the hospital once Chim has patched her up,”.

“I’ll grab the detective for you,” Athena replied before she walked out.

“Are you okay, Buck?” Bobby asked and Buck really did not know how to answer that question. Nothing that had happened tonight was okay. This was the opposite of okay. This is what he had meant to have stopped.

He failed again, he was repeating the mistakes of the past, only this time it felt worse because he had the knowledge. He had known Doug would come for Maddie, he had known about it and yet he had sat back and let it happen. The first time he had thought she was safe and she had escaped Doug. This time around he had known that Doug would come after her and yet he threw a stupid Christmas party and let people into his home. His home, Maddie’s home, was the place that they were meant to be safe in. He had let his guard down and Doug had got in. Buck had basically invited him along to the Christmas party. How had he been so stupid?

“It’s not your fault, Evan,” Buck turned around to see Marco standing behind him.

“He found her…” Buck told the older man, “I was meant to keep her safe. This time was meant to be different…I failed her,”.

“You didn’t fail her,” Marco said, softly as Buck felt the older man place a hand on his shoulder. The pressure was good, grounding, “Your sister is upstairs safe and…”.

“Where is Doug?” Buck asked, last he had seen had been lying unconscious on the ground. Was he still there or had he been arrested?

“Mr Kendall has been taken to hospital but with officers who are ready to arrest him as soon as he wakes him and when he is discharged, he will be going right to jail,” A man who Buck recognised said.

“I’m detective Rick Romero,” He introduced, with an outreached hand, “You are Evan Buckley? Maddie Kendall’s younger brother?”

Buck shook the man’s hand, “I am. Nice to meet your detective Romero. Do you want a drink?”.

“I’ll put on a pot of coffee while you two talk,” Bobby offered and with that Buck was left with the detective as Bobby, Athena and Marco all made their way into the kitchen.

“How’s your sister?” The detective asked as Buck led him to the two grey armchairs in the living room area.

“In shock…I think…” Buck answered, thinking he was most likely also in shock, “You need to ask me some questions,”.

Romero nodded, “You threw this party tonight?”

Buck nodded, “Christmas party…wanted everyone together before the holidays,”.

“And you can provide me with a guest list, everyone who was here?” He asked.

“I can get you that,” Athena offered as she handed Romero a cup of coffee and then one to Buck. She then sat on the arm of Buck’s chair and Buck felt better with Athena by his side.

“Thanks, Athena,” Romero replied and grabbed out his notebook, “I saw you have a ring video doorbell, was that in operation tonight?”

Buck nodded, “Yep, I got the one that records so if…if Doug got in that way we’ll have the footage,”.

Romero nodded, “What happened tonight, Evan?”.

“Buck,” he corrected, he could not be called Evan right now. Doug had called him that several times.

“Buck,” Romero corrected himself, “Can you describe the event that led up going downstairs,”.

Buck nodded and began, “Olly was making cocktails and needed more ice…Dan offered to go and after some time we realised he had not come back. Someone offered to go and check on but Maddie wanted to go…They were gone for a while but they are a couple and I just thought they wanted some alone time,”.

“Why did you go downstairs?” Romero asked him.

“Bobby…Captain Nash was leaving and I was walking him out…we heard a sound and went to check and that’s when…”

“Take your time, Buck '' the detective said as Athena rubbed his back. Buck could see Bobby and Marco watching from the kitchen. He wasn’t alone.

“Maddie was being held at gunpoint and Dan was on the floor and there was blood,” Buck finished.

“Mr Murray had already been shot when you arrived on the scene?” Romero asked.

Buck nodded, “The next bit…Doug had Maddie…he shoved her in Dan’s jeep….He got the key out of Dan’s pocket. He threatened Bobby..and I got hit with the gun because he needed the code to get out,”.

“And you gave him the code?”

“Yes, but the wrong one, just one digit…the door would have opened but the alarm company would call me to check everything is okay…I hoped someone would answer my phone and come and help,” Buck answered.

“Well they did,” The detective answered, “Our own Sergeant Grant answered and that’s what caused people to run and check up on you,”.

“Good,” Buck nodded, glad to know that his idea had worked.

“What happened next?”

“Erm…Doug, he was about to leave…I think his plan was to shoot us but he changed his mind…not sure why…maybe he was worried about the sound of the gun…anyway he grabbed some tape and first…. he does Bobby first. Tapped his arms, legs and mouth…then he…Doug, he turned to me…I knew that I couldn’t let him tie me up…if I did he would be free to leave with Maddie…I didn’t know if the company had time to call my phone or if anyone had heard my phone ring…I knew I had to do something. So I tackled him and there was a fight…It ended with Doug pointing the gun at me…”.

Buck went quiet. He did not want to think about how close he had come to death today. There was no doubt in his mind that Doug would have shot him. He could have died today. He couldn’t die, not when there was still so much he had to do. There was so much he had to change. He had a mission and job to stop the bad thing. To not repeat the mistakes he had made last time.

He nearly died today without ever seeing Eddie or Christopher in this timeline. What would have happened to them without Buck?

Buck could not bear the thought of never seeing his boys again.

“It’s okay, Buck,” Athena whispered to him quietly as she moved to hold his hand.

Buck nodded at her before turning to the detective, “Doug was going to shoot me when he fell forward, that’s when Chimney…Howard…he had hit him with a pipe I think it was. It was mental. Doug was out cold and I rushed to my sister who was handcuffed in the car…that’s what happened,”.

“Thank you, Mr Buckley,” The detective said, “I’ll need to question your sister about what happened before you arrived. I’ll also need a statement from all the guests,”.

“I’ll get you your list Detective,” Athena said, “But I think Buck and Maddie need to go to the hospital,”.

“Of course,” Romero agreed.

Buck watched on as Athena led the detective into the hallway and Buck was grateful that he did not have to deal with that. He wanted to get to the hospital to see Dan. He needed to know if he was okay,”.

Bobby walked over and sat down in the chair opposite, “Athena is going to drive you over to the hospital,”.

Buck nodded, “Thank you, Bobby. What about you? I’m sorry this happened, are you okay?”.

“I’m fine, Buck,” Bobby answered.

“I’ll make sure you Captain gets home okay,” Marco promised.

---------------------------

Buck and Maddie rushed into the hospital, it was clear Maddie had no idea where to go, but luckily this was not Buck’s first time at this hospital, although he had spent more time as a patient than he had in the waiting room. Still, he knew where they needed to go and so he grabbed his sister's hand and led her along

Maddie seemed out of it and just followed her little brother. Buck knew there would need to be long talks and therapy all around after the events of today but that would have to wait till they found out about Dan. They needed first to know that Dan was okay.

There was also a little voice that wondered about Doug, but Buck pushed that aside and knew that Athena would find out about him and would tell him anything he needed to know.

Buck was looking in the waiting rooms till he saw his friends. Will and Olly were sitting side by side in the hospital chairs.

“How’s Dan?” Buck asked, no greeting needed today, “Any news?”.

Will stood up and hugged Buck before pulling away and saying, “He’s in surgery. The bullet was still inside him…he was shot in the abdomen and Jesse said they were worried about his liver being nicked. He also hit his head when he went down…they were doing a scan and calling a…specialist of some kind…”.

“A neurologist,” Olly mumbled from the chair where he still sat.

Will nodded, “Jesse is giving us updates when she can from the ER,”.

Buck nodded back and led Maddie to sit down next to Olly and kneeled in front of her, “Are you okay?”.

Maddie nodded and answered, “He needs to be okay. Dan’s nice…he’s good…he was good to me…I can’t have done…he needs to be okay,”.

“I know,” Buck nodded in agreement. He knew that Maddie would feel guilty like he did over this. That she had caused this in some way, Buck knew that was not true that the blame lay with him and not with his sister. He could have stopped this, he should have stopped this and he failed and now Dan was in surgery.

Buck sighed. They had to wait.

An hour later and Maddie, Olly and Will were all still sitting in chairs as Buck sat with his legs stretched out on the floor by Maddie. Buck hated sitting in those uncomfortable plastic chairs. In the past, he would pace or wander the hospital rather than wait, go and help his family. That is what he had done when Eddie was shot. He had gone to be with Christopher, he had known that’s what Eddie would have wanted and also it was something for him to do.

Sitting and waiting was not something he was good at.

The only reason he was not doing that now was that he could not bear the thought of leaving his sister. Maddie needed him and while she did he would not leave her side.

Just as Buck thought there must be an update soon in walked Jesse. All four jumped up and as Jesse walked up, she was in full scrubs and clearly just came out of the surgery.

“The surgery is still going on…” Jesse started, “He’s doing well, there was a bleed but we got in under control. Dr Karav is still in there and we are hoping to be able to save the liver. We were worried about swelling of the brain but Dr Hale has been in and will be keeping a very close eye on Dan once he is out of surgery,”.

“And how long will that be?” Maddie asked, speaking for the first time since she got to the hospital.

“A couple of hours I would think,” Jesse answered, “I’ll head back in there now and let you know if there are any more updates but Dan is young and strong and he’s fighting this. He’s doing really well,”.

“Thank you, Jesse,” Buck said as she nodded in response and left to go back. Buck felt better knowing that Jesse was there looking after the situation and making sure Dan got the best care. Hospitals were not dissimilar to firehouses. Doctors took care of their own the same way firefighters did. Having Jesse in there made Buck feel better like Dan was not just another patient. Someone in there knew him and knew he was important.

“I’ll get us some coffee,” Will mumbled, as Olly and Maddie sat back down.

Buck looked between them before following Will out of the room.

“Hey, thought you might need a hand,” Buck offered.

Will nodded, “Some party. You okay?”.

“I’ll be better once I can see Dan and know he’s okay,” Buck answered as they reached the coffee machine, “How’s Olly doing? He’s barely said a word,”.

“I think he’s in shock,” Will answered, taking the coffees off Buck, “We forget how long they have known each other,”.

Buck nodded. Olly and Dan were best friends. Before Dan’s business had started up they had worked together, lived together and still hung out on top of that. It was always them together. Olly always felt so young to Buck in this timeline. He reminded Buck of him the first time around and he knew that Dan getting hurt would be a big deal to Olly.

“We need to keep an eye on him,” Buck responded, as they began walking back with the coffees.

Will nodded in agreement, “You know this coffee is terrible right? No one will drink it,”.

Buck shrugged, “It’s just what you do when you are waiting for news in a hospital. You sit and drink bad coffee,”.

Another two and a half hours passed before any more news came out. This time Maddie's head was resting on Buck’s shoulder. Will was already standing up stretching his legs and Olly was laying across two seats when Jesse walked in.

Everyone jumped up and moved towards her.

“He’s out of surgery and doing brilliantly. We got the bullet and there was minimal damage done to the liver. He’s done really well,” Jesse told them, she looked exhausted. Buck remembered she had come from work to the party and now she had been in the OR for hours.

“Can we see him?” Olly asked, bouncing on the balls on his feet.

“He’s being sent to recovery but yes you can see him once we get him settled,” Jesse answered, “Because of the swelling to his brain we won’t be waking him till at least tomorrow,”.

“Is that a major concern?” Will asked.

“It’s something we are being cautious about and will be keeping a close eye on,” Jesse answered, “As I said before Dr Hale will be keeping an eye on him, he’s a great Doctor and a friend of mine. He’ll be on Dan’s case and keeping a close eye on Dan, as will I,”.

“Thank you, Jesse,” Buck said again, he was so grateful to her in this situation.

Jesse nodded, “I’ll send someone to show you to Dan’s room when he’s been moved. You won’t all be able to stay with him, but one of you can,”.

It was not long before the nurse came and got them and took them to Dan’s room. Buck could feel how tightly Maddie was gripping him. He wondered how she was feeling. He knew she liked Dan but he also knew she did not love him. Maddie and Dan were good together but Buck knew that her and Chimney had been great together and no one would come close. Only Maddie did not know that. She did not know that he knew that she was destined to have a great love with a man who was currently a common acquaintance to her. A common acquaintance who had saved her life tonight.

Right now Buck could not worry about how Maddie and Chim would get together, his focus had to be on Dan. Dan who had been shot by Doug and now potential brian swelling. Dan was important right now.

The nurse showed them to the room and Buck could hear that she was talking to Will and Olly but he saw his friend in a hospital bed with a bullet wound. Life was so not fair, he thought. Maddie moved in closer and sat by his bedside and he heard her begin to cry as she whispered apologies.

Life was not fair at all.

Will had taken Olly back home after he had seen Dan and promised they would come back the following morning with breakfast and hopefully to awake Dan. Buck naturally had stayed with his friend and his sister. The nurse had been by a couple of times and checked his vitals and to do some tests and said that the doctor would check on him first thing in the morning.

Buck wanted to talk to his sister and find out what had happened with Doug before he had shown up. He did not want to think about what had happened and what he said to her. Did Maddie have to watch Dan get shot right in front of her as he had done with Eddie? Or had Doug already shot Dan when she went downstairs? Where was Doug now? Was he somewhere in this hospital? Or had he been taken to jail Buck had so many questions?

“I’m sorry, Evan,” Maddie said out of nowhere.

Buck sat up and looked at his sister, “What for?”.

“This is my fault. I came here and Doug followed me,” Maddie told him, “You got hurt…your friends got hurt by him. Dan was hurt,”.

“I told you I wanted you here,” Buck told her thinking about a conversation he had with Eddie in hospital jail, “I told you to stay here. That you didn’t need to keep running. That you would be safe, that I would keep you safe but Doug he found you…that’s my fault…this is on me…I told you to stay, but Maddie what if you had kept running. Doug would have found you but you would have been alone. We’ve alive and…Dan will wake up…he’ll be okay,”.

Maddie nodded, “When did you get so smart?”

In the last ten years the first time he lived through this, Buck thought but said, “I’ve always been smart,”.

Maddie let out a small bit of laughter at that and Buck was overjoyed to hear that sound. Her face quickly changed to a serious expression.

“He kept me safe,” Maddie said, looking at Dan, “He stood in between me and Doug and he tried…he got shot trying to keep me safe,”.

“He’s a good man,” Buck echoed, looking at his friend who he had barely known the first time around, who had just been someone he used to live with. Now this time around he was a good friend, a business partner and now the man who had saved his sister.

“He is,” Maddie nodded and Buck wondered how Maddie felt about Dan and if she was falling in love with him. He could see how that might be possible. He always assumed it would just be a fling between them. Someone she would date before Chimney. Buck wondered if maybe he was wrong about that and actually it was more serious than he thought.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Hale. Dan’s doctor who is keeping an eye on the swelling of his brain,” Buck heard a voice in the doorway said. He looked around and saw a familiar face.

Buck felt like an idiot for not putting two and two together. Doctor Hale the neurologist was of course David Hale who he had known as Michael Grant’s partner and later husband. David had not worked in LA for so long that Buck had forgotten by this time David was still a doctor here who apparently worked with Jesse.

Buck was happy that the doctor was a familiar face and one that would someday be a part of Buck’s crazy extended family.

“How’s he doing?” Maddie asked from Dan’s beside.

“He’s doing well. The scans are promising but we are just waiting for him to wake up, which could be anytime now,” David answered with a smile towards Maddie.

“And he’ll be okay?” Buck asked, looking over towards his sleeping friend.

“That’s the hope,” David answered, “Everything is telling us that he’ll make a full recovery. Swelling has gone down and he’s responsive. Just need him to wake up now,”.

“Thank you, Dr Hale,” Buck said, thinking about how he would spend Christmas day with this man and they would be invited to each other's birthday parties at the Grant/Nash house. Life was weird like that.

“I’ll be back once he’s woken up to do a full exam,” David told him before leaving.

Buck watched him leave before his attention was drawn back to Maddie and a still sleeping Dan.

“He’s just being lazy now,” Buck joked to his sister, “He was always the last to wake up, even Olly was up before him,”.

Maddie smiled at Buck’s bad joke which had been Buck’s aim.

“That’s….a….lie…Buckley…” Dan’s voice came out of his mouth.

Maddie and Buck both looked over to the sleeping man whose eyes were just opening flicking into consciousness.

“Dan…Dan…are you okay?” Maddie asked.

“All the better for seeing your beautiful face, Maddie,” Dan mumbled, trying his best to give a charming smile.

The words had the desired effect as Maddie giggled.

“You okay?” Dan whispered as Maddie moved closer.

“I’m okay,” Maddie whispered back as the two stared into each other's eyes.

Buck knew it was better he left them to their quiet intimate moment of reunion and stepped into the hall. Dan was awake. He would survive. They survived Doug, they got through it.

Buck saw the nurse who had been assigned to Dan’s care and let her know Dan was awake so she could check on him and inform the doctor. He then decided he would get some air and phone their friends to let them know that Dan was okay. They would need to know. He should also check in with Bobby about his shifts for the week.

He walked towards the lift knowing that Maddie would be okay with Dan and the floor full of hospital staff. He would not be gone for long.

The elevator door opened and before Buck could get in Athena Grant walked out.

“Buck, how's your friend?” Athena asked as she walked out of the elevator.

“He’s just woken up. Doctors seem to think he’ll make a full recovery,” Buck answered.

“And you’re doing okay?” Athena asked and Buck got oddly emotional at the caring tone. He put it down to stress and lack of sleep.

“Just tired…” Buck answered, “Long day,”.

Athena smiled, “I have some news…about Doug?”.

“He’s in jail?” Buck asked, hopefully.

“Unfortunately not yet,” Athena answered, her voice lowered slightly, “He’s in a coma…turns out that blow to the head caused some brain damage…he might never wake up the Doctors say, but it’s too early for us to know anything for sure yet…”.

Buck let Athena’s words settle. Doug was in a Coma. In the hospital. He could possibly remain in that coma for the rest of his life or…or he could wake up and come after Maddie again.

“You okay?” Athena asked, “Don’t worry, there will be a guard on the door at times if he wakes up and he’s restrained so he’s not going anywhere. We won’t let anything happen to your sister. We’ll keep her safe.

Buck nodded. He thought that before.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17 - Season One

It had been nearly three weeks since Buck’s disastrous Christmas party which Doug had gatecrashed with some dramatic events. The consequences were still going on. Dan was still recovering, basically living at the 119. Maddie was still struggling with the aftermath of Doug. Doug himself was still in a coma at the hospital under constant surveillance from the police. Just knowing that Doug was still alive had both Buck and Maddie on edge.

Buck was still blaming himself for not stopping Doug. For letting his friend get hurt. For letting Doug get near his sister. He had taken time off work to look after his sister and Dan. Buck had insisted that she get some help and had been going to therapy. Buck had been thinking about calling Doctor Copeland for himself but there was so much he would not be able to talk to her without ending up being committed. Doctor Copeland had always been about to tell when he was lying and Buck did not know how he could see her with everything.

Today was his first day back at the 118 and Buck was excited to get a small part of his life back. At the element of normalcy. Buck remembered this time of his life fondly from the first time around, it was when he first began to feel like he had found the right place for him. The place he belonged with his people. There were some speed bumps the first time around (Getting fired) with Bobby in particular but this time Buck knew what he was doing. He was not the same kid he had been the first time he had lived this life.

He walked into the 118 with a smile, he got changed and made his way into the loft where Hen, Chimney and Bobby were all in the kitchen. Bobby cooked while the other two watched on. Add Eddie in and it was a perfect image. Maybe Ravi as well, Buck had grown fond of their probie over the years.

“I’m back, guys!” Buck cheered with his hands in the air as he walked over like he was walking into a ring and not the firehouse kitchen.

Bobby rolled his eyes in that fond way Buck felt he only ever did for him. Hen smiled at him and Chimney said, “Welcome back Buck! It’s been oddly peaceful without you around. Guess we got used to how much you talk,”.

“Breakfast?” Bobby offered, holding up some scrambled eggs.

“Please!” Buck answered, “I purposely did not eat breakfast so I could eat your food when I got here Bobby. Maddie and Dan weren’t happy, thinking they had got used to me cooking every morning,”.

“How are your sister and her boyfriend?” Hen asked as a cup of coffee was placed in front of him.

“They are okay,” Buck answered, then taking a drink of his coffee which burnt his mouth, he really needed to learn to sip it first, “Dan is recovering well. Maddie’s in therapy. We’re coping,”.

“And you?” Bobby asked, putting some food in front of him.

“I’m worried about my sister. Not planning any parties in the future, but I'm doing okay, Cap,” Buck answered, honestly taking a bite of his food, “Happy to be back to work helping the citizens of LA,”.

With that the bell went and the day. Drowning in a pool, a man who had got stuck in an electric fence took up most of their day before he was back at the 118 firehouses. Buck felt good to be back.

-----------------------------

Once back at the 118, Bobby had asked Buck to help with dinner but Buck had wanted to phone in and check in on Maddie. They spoke for a while before Buck was satisfied she was okay. Buck did not know if he would ever stop worrying about Maddie with Doug in a coma. Just the idea of him waking up and coming after his sister terrified Buck.

He made his way up the loft where Chim was talking to Bobby in the kitchen.

“She’s got one foot out the door,” Buck heard Chim say as he reached the top of the stairs, “This woman is so far out of my league but I can’t let her go,”.

“Lots of fish in the sea,” Bobby commented offhandedly as he put some food in the oven.

“No with the bait he is using,” Hen said to herself as she grabbed the plates for the table, where two of the other firefighters were talking about sports. It was good to be back, Buck thought.

“What’s going on?” Buck asked as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Chimney tragic dating life,” Hen filled in with a good-natured smile.

“You're still dating what’s-her-name?” Buck asked, already knowing the answer but that did not mean he liked it. Chim belonged with Maddie, Buck believed that.

“Tatiana, and yes I am,” Chimney responded as Bobby handed him food for the table which he took.

Buck walked into the kitchen and without asking carried on making the salad Bobby had started.

“When was the last time you went on a date anyway Buck?” Chim carried on, “I mean your young, single, a firefighter and not completely terrible to look at,”.

Buck rolled his eyes, “I date,”.

“Not according to your sister,” Chim responded as he walked away from Buck over to Hen.

“I’m sorry?” Buck asked, shocked at this new information that had just come to light, “You are talking to my sister,”.

“We text,” Chimney shrugged like it was nothing which was certainly not, “She wanted to thank the man who saved her life,”.

“You text?” Buck asked as they all made their way to the table to eat. This was new information to him, how long had Maddie and Chim been texting? Was this the start of them? What did that mean for Maddie and Dan? Buck liked Dan, he was a good friend and had done his very best to protect Maddie, even though he ended up getting shot for his effort. Of course, he wanted Chim to end up with Maddie but that did not mean he wanted his friend to get hurt along the way. This situation was seriously messy.

“Can someone pass me a spoon?” Bobby asked as he was handed Buck’s salad but nothing to serve it with.

Buck grabbed a spoon but the second he did the alarm rang. Buck sighed, why did their food always go to waste?

The second they arrived on the scene Buck knew which call out this was. It was one of his most memorable calls out with the newborn baby who had been stuck in the wall after being flushed down the toilet. Buck was glad he remembered this one as the baby would be fine and this time he knew just what to do. The call was close to the firehouse so they took no time getting there.

“Let’s do this,” Hen called as Buck grabbed the bag and handed Hen her own bag. Buck rolled his shoulders as he mentally got ready, going over every detail he could remember in his head.

“What floor?” Chim called out, as he walked around the truck, gear in tow.

“Fourth,” Bobby shouted back as they walked up to the building. Buck had missed this, he was glad to be back at work, on calls with his team.

“I’ll race you,” Buck called out, “Unless you need to take the elevator Pops,”.

Bobby smiled, “You’ll be taking the elevator at my age, kid. Trust me. Stairs are not good for your knees,”.

They headed it upstairs and into the guy's apartment who quickly led them to the bathroom where they all stood quietly listening.

“I can’t hear anything,” Bobby whispered, after a moment.

“Give it some more time,” Buck promoted, knowing there was a baby, they just had to wait to hear her cries,“I don’t think this guy is making it up,”.

“Dunno, Buck,” Hen responded as she looked around the place, “The guy seemed kinda high to me,”.

“Could it have been a cat?” Chim suggested and just as he did a cry rang out from the far wall of the bathroom

Before Bobby could ask Buck handed over a stethoscope for Bobby to listen to the wall as he tapped and the baby cried out. Buck then handed the marker and Bobby drew a large X on the wall to mark the spot.

“I’ll grab a saw in just case,” Buck called as he walked out to hear Chim suggest it was a prank. He knew this call, what they would need and how it would go. This was one of the calls he had never forgotten. He had never forgotten the baby or her mother and how he had acted on this call. His clash of morals with Athena. Having to learn to leave the cases at the hospital doors. It had been a big one for him, where he had learned what the job was.

Buck ran down the stairs in no time and saw Athena coming up the stairs as he ran down them.

“Hey, Sargent Grant!” Buck called over to her in greeting, it was always nice seeing Athena at work. She had stopped by several times after Christmas to help with the police inquiry and also to make sure they were okay. Her help had been invaluable and Buck was so glad to have her in his corner. Buck was eternally grateful that she had come into his life earlier this time.

“Hey, Buck! First day back!” Athena greeted him with a smile, “What have we got?”

“Currently we think it’s a baby that’s been flushed down the toilet and it’s stuck in a pipe,” Buck called to her, “No one has looked for the mother yet, but someone will check…she must be scared and alone and possibly needing medical care,”.

“Thanks, Buck!” Athena called as she entered the building, “I’ll take care of the mother, you guys focus on the baby,”.

Buck knew that everything turned out okay but was still nervous. He always felt like this when there were kids involved. He got the saw and made his way back up the rest of the crew so they could begin to take apart the wall. He still found it odd to be working side by side with Bobby rather than Eddie. He found they needed to talk more than he ever had with Eddie but they still worked well together. Buck had worked with Bobby long enough before he retired to know how the older man worked. He was no Eddie though.

No one would ever come close as a partner than Eddie. They had worked side by side as partners for over a decade and by the end, they knew each other completely. Buck knew not only what only Eddie would do next but the next ten steps and Eddie knew the same about Buck. They were partners in and outside of work. Not many firefighters had the depth their relationships held. They had each other's backs. Buck longed for the day he would get to work side by side again with Eddie.

They got the pipe in view and Buck was sure he was forgetting something. Then Hen mentioned about the baby drowning and rushed off to the floors above them. They then began taking the pipe apart to get the baby out.

“Easy, guys, easy,” Bobby instructed as they got the pipe down, “Buck cut the pipe right here,”.

“I can see the baby,” Buck nodded, as he held his breath. This was the moment.

“Gently Buck,” Chim added. The pipe was cut and the three men began working to get the baby out.

“Hen get the ambulance ready to go,” Bobby instructed, “We’ll have this baby out soon and we will need to be fast,”.

The baby was out and they got her breathing after unblocking her airway together and she began crying softly.

“Wrap her up, Buck,” Bobby instructed.

Buck took her and began running down the ambulance with the little baby girl in his arms whispering reassurance to her. Buck wondered if Athena had the mother by now and hoped she did.

He got the ambulance at the same time as Athena with the mother and this time there was no clash between the two of them and they all got in the ambulance together to head to the hospital.

This time Buck was not picking fights with Athena Grant. He knew better.

--------------------------

They got back to the station and sat down to eat the food they had left earlier. Their shift was basically over. Only ten minutes left but no one was going to let Bobby’s food and a chance to talk about their day go to waste.

“Well that was a crazy call,” Hen commented as she ate, “Hell of a first day back,”.

“Something to tell Maddie that’s for sure,” Buck added, “Think they will be okay?”

“We did our jobs very well today, Buck,” Bobby said and Buck remembered this speech from last time around, “You did a good job today kid. Now that kid and her baby are in the hands of the doctors, it’s their turn. You should be proud of that,”.

“It’s good to be back at work,” Buck agreed as he smiled at his captain, “Everyone got plans for tonight?”.

“I’ve got a date with Tatiana, who will live the heroic story of how I single-handedly saved both the mother and the baby,” Chim answered, while already grabbing seconds of his dinner.

“Really nice, Chim,” Hen said as she cleared her plate, “I’m heading home to my beautiful wife and amazing son and a large glass of wine,”.

“You should all go home to your families,” Bobby announced, “I’ll clean up, I've got some paperwork to finish up after today. But I’ll see you all tomorrow okay,”.

They all agreed and began leaving one by one. Buck sat in his jeep for a minute. He had forgotten there was a time when Bobby had no one to home too much like himself the first time around. They really had needed each other. Buck wished he could have just brought Bobby home with him like the hundred times Buck had gone home to Athena’s and Bobby’s house after a shift, but as he kept having to remind himself there were not there yet.

Not yet, but hopefully soon.

Buck drove the streets of LA with his music on loud. Today had been a good day. He had saved people today and that in itself was a good day and now he was heading home to his firehouse and to his sister. Today was good.

------------------

“Maddie, are you sure you don’t want to come for breakfast with Athena?” Buck asked one last time. It was not like Maddie was not going out, it's just that she was choosing to stay in more and more and Buck did not want her to be scared of the outdoor world. He understood that situation with Doug had scared her and unlike when it had happened this first time, this time he was alive. In Coma but alive. At least he had died the first time and they had not had to worry about him coming back.

“I’m sure,” Maddie told him as she loaded the dishwasher, “And before you start…me and Dan are going out later for his doctor’s appointment and we are meeting Olly and Keria for lunch afterwards so I'm going out and getting fresh air,”.

“I’m sorry,” Buck said as he handed her a rinsed dish for her to load, “I’m being overbearing, I know but you are the same with me,”.

“Well I’m your big sister it’s my job,” Maddie responded, “You are my little brother you don’t need to worry about me all the time, you can go out you know. See friends. Date?”

Oh, so this is where that was going. Buck sighed, “I better go. Don’t want to keep Athena waiting!”.

Maddie just smiled, “You could ask out Keria? Or what about that cute girl from the juice bar down the street”

“I’m leaving,” Buck said as he dropped a kiss on his sister’s cheek, “And Laura is dating her yoga teacher,”.

“You can’t just be single forever,” Maddie sighed, “I don’t know why they are so unwilling to go out and meet people. Did something happen?”.

Buck looked at his big sister, who was staring at him with a concerned look on her face. Buck wanted to tell her everything that the reason he did not date was that he had already found the one. His soulmate was out there living in Texas with no idea who Buck was, but Buck knew him. Buck knew Eddie Diaz better than he knew anyone else, he knew him, fully and completely. He had built a life with him, good life and they had been so in love and stupidly happy together. Then it had all fallen apart, Eddie had died and Buck woke up in the past.

Buck could not exactly tell Maddie that.

“There is someone out there for me, Maddie. The person for me. My other half. They are out there and I'm gonna find them and I’m gonna love them with everything I've got,” Buck explained, “They’ll be my best friend and they’ll get me like no one ever had. I’m not dating because I'm waiting for them. I’m waiting for my soulmate,”.

“Evan, that’s…” Maddie looked at him with tears in her eyes, “It’s a lovely idea, but that’s not how relationships work. You’re not going to just meet someone and fall in love right away, it takes time to make a relationship, you fall in love,”.

“Love isn’t found, it's made,” Buck quoted, “I know that, but I also know he’s out there. Trust me on this Maddie. I’m gonna find it and you’ll see what I mean,”.

“When did my little brother become such a hopeless romantic?” Maddie asked with a fond smile.

Buck smiled back at her, “Guess I believe that love finds a way,”.

“Sap,” Maddie teased.

---------------------------

“I know she is my sister and she worries about me but with everything going on and work…I’m just in the right space to be dating right now,” Buck told Athena over their coffee as two empty plates of food set in front of them.

Athena didn’t respond, just sat there staring at a young couple with a baby a few tables away.

“Earth to Athena,” Buck said, waving his hand in front of her face to get her to look at him which she did, “Are you okay because you have been very quiet all through breakfast and normally…well normally you aren’t…normally you have opinions on my life that you share with me if I ask you too or not,”

“I’m sorry, Buck…there is just a lot going on at home right now with Michael and the kids…”. Athena answered, “What were you saying?”.

“It doesn’t matter,” Buck responded, Athena clearly needed him right now, “Do you want to talk about it?”.

Athena looked at him for a moment, clearly thinking about it. Buck hoped she did open him to him. Buck already knew that was going on and he wanted to be there for his friend and it was so hard to do that while it felt like he was lying to her.

He knew it would be hard for Athena to tell him about Michael but the thing was he already knew! He just could not tell him that he already knew and that was the hard part.

“I found out a couple of weeks ago what’s going on with Michael and today he told the kids,” Athena told him, “And my whole life just feels…out of control,”.

Buck nodded and just let Athena talk.

“My husband…he’s gay and my life is a mess,” Athena confessed finally saying the words.

Buck moved to squeeze her hand, “I’m sorry, Athena,”.

“It is what it is now,” Athena replied, pulling her hand away and taking a drink, “I just wish I could skip to the part where it will be all okay again,”.

“That part will come,” Buck said with confidence you can only have when you are living your life for a second time, “You just have to be patient and till then you have me to talk to whenever you need it,”.

Buck left breakfast with Athena with plans for him to come over for dinner next week at her house and headed to work. The first call of the day was a familiar one that Buck had put some thought into how he could change. It made Buck nervous about the thought of actively changing the past, up till now everything he had changed had been accidental or simply because he had not remembered what he had done the first time.

This was something he had planned and put thought into and if it went right he would hopefully end up saving a life.

“LA Fire!” Bobby called out, “Anyone here?”

The four of them walked in and Bobby ordered all the rooms to be checked. It was not till they got to the main room that Chimney freaked out.

“Bobby…I don’t do snakes…” Chim said, taking a step back, his voice higher than normal, “Ever since I watched Conon the Barbarian….that scene with giant snakes…they scare the crap out of me,”.

“Oh, Schwarzenegger! I liked that film! The snake was cool!” Buck added, he remembered watching it with Chim and Maddie one night and Chim had spent a lot of time hiding behind Maddie.

“I’m surprised you’ve seen that, Buck,” Hen added, “Came out before you were even born!”.

“Can we get back to the snakes!” Chim reminded them, his voice still of a higher pitch than normal.

“Guys! Back here now!” Bobby called from the next room over, “We need to help her get some air,”.

“Oh my god!” Hen said as she saw the snake wrapped around the girl's head. Buck was not as shocked as his teammates, he remembered this.

“That is not good, very not good,” Chim said from the doorway where he looked to be as close as he was willing to get.

“That thing is like ten feet long…we’ve aren’t going to be able to move it,” Hen added as she sat her bag down and Bobby tried to move the snake, “Its construction strength is like 50 pounds per square inch. I have Dilaudid, we can inject the snake…”

“That will take way too long for the thing to pass out,” Buck told Hen, “Have you got rubbing alcohol in the bag…”.

Hen nodded and grabbed some and handed it to Buck who moved towards the snake's head.

“Buck…do you know what you are doing?” Bobby asked the worry palpable in his voice, “We might need to kill it!”.

“Yes!” Chim agreed, “Kill it and do it now!”.

“We are not killing it!” Hen argued, “Nobody told this fool to bring a snake into her house!”.

“We are running out of time, Hen,” Bobby reminded, “This thing is constricting her airways, it’s getting tighter now. We need to do something fast. Buck?”

“Hold on!” Buck called, still by the snake's mouth, he was running his hand down under its mouth. As the rubbing alcohol took effect.

The girl suddenly took a deep breath of air as the snake released her and began to slither off and towards Chim.

“No!” Chim yelled and moved away as the snake happily slithered past Chim who was out of sight now.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” Bobby asked as Hen moved to examine her.

“You saved Spartacus!” The girl said to Buck, looking up at him adoringly.

“And you,” Hen muttered, as she took the girl's pulse.

“I need to thank you somehow…” The girl flirted with Buck who just blushed and moved away.

“You can thank me by letting Hen make sure you are okay,” Buck said as he followed Chim out the door. He had done it, he had changed something and someone had lived because of it. Yes, it was only a snake but he had saved a life he had failed the first time.

Buck walked outside and saw Chimney was back on the truck texting, most likely Tatiana to tell her about this heroic rescue.

“That was amazing,” Bobby came up and told him, “How on earth did you know to do that?”.

“Let’s just say I’ve been to the LA zoo many times and learned a lot from the zookeepers,” Buck smiled, thinking of his and Chris’ favourite place to go together.

Eddie had warned him that one day Chris would not want to spend his Saturdays with Buck at the Zoo and yes as Chris became a teenager that had been true to a certain extent. They went to the zoo less but they never stopped going. It was still their place. They had gone the weekend before Chris had left for college with Eddie. It had been one of the last outings the three of them had done together before Eddie’s death.

“You like animals that much?” Bobby asked.

“My kid…he loved it there. We would go and spend all day…” Buck stopped and instantly realised his mistake. Oh No, maybe Bobby would not notice and just think he said a kid.

“Buck…Do you have a kid?” Bobby said, looking at him with a concerned look on his face. One Buck did not want to see there. Bobby was smart; he would not just let this go. Buck had messed this whole thing up.

“I don’t have a kid,” Buck blurted out as his brain just flooded him with memories of him and Chris at the zoo, “There was a kid, but he wasn’t mine. I knew his Dad. We used to go to the zoo together but not anymore…they aren’t around anymore…”.

“Buck…” Bobby said in his concerned Dad voice.

“It’s fine,” Buck shut Bobby down and instantly felt bad about it, “It’s the past. You forget it”

Bobby looked at him and for a moment Buck seriously wanted to cave and tell him everything. All about Christopher and Eddie and how Buck knew them. How Buck knew everyone. That he had been sent back in time. Woke up in the past and this was his life now. Buck wanted to tell Bobby all of it.

“Please, Bobby,” Buck said instead.

Bobby nodded, “Okay, Kid. You go check on Chim for me and I'll make sure Hen is okay. Sounds good?”.

“Thank you, Cap,” Buck said as he walked away, taking a deep breath as he went. He had messed up. He had screwed up. He had said something he had not meant to. He just had not been thinking. Well, he had been thinking about Eddie and Chris and he had just answered Bobby’s question without thinking. He needs to be more careful. He could not mess up like this again.

They were quiet on the side back of the station. Chim was busy texting Tatiana, most likely telling her of his heroics. Buck reeling in his mistakes. Bobby thinking about Buck’s slip up and Hen reading the vibe of the truck and happily just watching the world go by. She knew when it was best to just be quiet.

They had it back to the 118 and everyone instantly went their own way. Scattering into different corners of the firehouse.

Buck went off to the locker room. He loved and hated this room for the same reason, it had been the first place he had ever seen Eddie. Young, shirtless, beautiful and perfect, Eddie Diaz. It has been almost a year since Buck had seen his face. Months and months without seeing his smile or catching his deep brown eyes in knowing glance between them in a moment that was just for them. Buck used to get to looking at Eddie every day and now he was forgetting the sound of his laughter, only remembering how the corner of his eyes would crinkle up when he fully laughed.

Buck missed him like you would a limb. A whole piece of him had been taken away when Eddie had died but he had been able to talk about him. He had been able to talk to his friends and family about how much he missed Eddie. They could sit and reminisce about him. Then he woke up in the past and could not mention Eddie. He could not tell anyone about the great love he had lost. There were times he wanted to shout Eddie’s name for the rooftop, stop random strangers in and tell them all about the amazingness that was Eddie. He could not tell anyone about Eddie and the life they had built together without sounding insane.

It was not just Eddie he could not talk about either. It was his son as well, it was Christopher. Buck could not mention the boy that was like his kid, that he loved like he was his own and that he had helped raise him to be one the finest and brightest young men. Buck had to keep quiet about both of them in order to protect their future. He hated it.

Today he had messed up and brought up Chris. He had not meant to do it. He had just been thinking of how cool Chris would have found this story and how he wished he was going home to tell him about the lady with the snake and how he had saved them both. Christopher would have loved it and Buck had just brought up their many trips to the zoo because Chris had been on his mind already.

Buck missed Eddie and Chris.

Buck opened his phone and did something he had stopped himself doing every day since he woke up in the past.

He opened Facebook and typed in the name Diaz.

Only he did not pair it with Eddie but with Sophia.

Eddie hated technology and would not leave his facebook open for any stranger to see.

Sophia Diaz was not as sensible as her brother.

Her Facebook was open for the world to see. Buck saw her profile with her picture and saw the little icon for her photo library. One-click and he could see all her pictures which would include the Diaz family get-togethers.

One-Click and he could see both of his boys' faces.

One-Click and he could see the man he loved.

“Buck, you got a second?”.

Buck looked up and saw Bobby in the doorway.

He quickly put his phone in his pocket and plastered a smile on his face, “Couse, Cap. Everything okay?”.

Bobby walked in. He looked unsure about himself which was uncommon for Bobby.

“Just wanted to check in with you…we’ve had a couple of intense calls lately and you are doing really well but you are still new here and finding your feet and I just wanted to check in I guess,” Bobby explained as he sat down next to Buck.

Buck knew it was about his slip up and Bobby wanted to check he was in the right headspace to be at work.

“Plus you’ve had a lot to do in your personal life with your sister,” Bobby added.

Buck sighed, he knew what the next call was going to be.

“Can I be the man behind on the next couple of calls?” Buck asked, he knew that was a big move, partially this early on for him. He would never have asked this the first time around. Buck could count the time on one hand over his ten plus years as a firefighter he had asked to be the man behind and most of the time he had been alongside Eddie.

“Of course,” Bobby agreed and Buck could tell that Bobby had not been expecting him to ask to be the man behind and was taken by surprise,“That’s no problem,”.

“Thank you, Cap,” Buck said, looking at Bobby with a small smile, “I’ll be okay, I just need some time to…decompress,”.

“About what you said earlier about going to the zoo…” Bobby began to ask which Buck had hoped he would have not done. He should have known better. Bobby Nash never just dropped anything when something to do with some of his team or a loved one. Buck should have known that Bobby would not try and talk about it with him.

“Bobby,” Buck said, “I’m okay…It’s in the past now…It’s okay. I just can’t talk about that with you right now. It’s not easy for me to talk about,”.

Bobby nodded, “Okay, but I might understand it more than you think…I’m here if you need to talk,”.

Before Buck could respond the bell went and everyone began running towards the truck.

“You’ll be okay?” Bobby checked before he left him to go to the truck.

Buck nodded and Bobby began to leave but Buck called him, “Bobby!”.

Bobby stopped and turned around to look at Buck, “I’m here as well…for you…if you ever need to talk,”.

“Thanks, Buck,” Bobby said before rushing off into the call leaving Buck waiting as the man behind.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18 - Don’t go chasing Waterfalls

The firetruck left and Buck decided he needed to do something so he went upstairs to clean the kitchen. That did not take him too long because Bobby was a clean as you go kind of person. He began making dinner for the team when they got back, something that could sit in the oven and stay warm and he decided on lasagne. However, that also seemed to take no time to make, as did the garlic bread.

Buck sighed and wished he had not been sensible and just gone on the call like normal. He lay on the couch and began texting all of his friends to check-in. Most were at work but Keria began texting him potential houses for him to look at which was exciting. He was still interested in finding a house for him, Eddie and Chris to live in somewhere down the road. It will be a project, something they could do up.

Buck flicked through the properties and found one near Athena’s house. That could be fun being neighbours with Athena and Bobby. Buck texted it to Athena to get her reaction and was surprised when she began phoning him.

“Hey ‘Thena,” Buck greeted as he answered, “What did you think of the house?”

“I need a favour,” Athena responded and Buck sat up at her tone.

“Anything,” Buck shot back.

“Think you can loan me a firetruck,” Athena replied.

Buck instantly knew what was about to happen before Athena began to explain the situation, already jumping off, making sure the oven was turned off and heading towards the firetruck still parked in the bay.

“I’m on my way,” Buck told her, “I’ll be there in less than five,”.

Four minutes later Buck pulled up and rolled down the window next to Athena’s police car.

“Nice to see you, Sargent Grant,” Buck smiled, he liked this more the second time around.

“Okay, Buck, you know what to do,” Athena checked, “No heroics now. Don’t go chasing waterfalls,”.

“Don’t you worry about me, I’ll stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm used to,” Buck shot back with a grin.

“You do surprise me, Buckley,” Athena smiled back, “Get to work,”.

Buck gave her a soft salute and turned on the siren and began to drive. Buck had a vague memory of which street it was and headed in that direction. Time was of the essence here, a girl's life was at stake.

“Buck you just went past her!” Athena's voice came over the speaker, “We got her,”.

“I see the pink bike!” Buck said, “And the Mom! I’ll grab her,”.

“Buck you can’t let her in that house,” Athena's voice rang out as Buck jumped out of the truck.

“Emma! Are you Emma Coughlin?” Buck asked, “You can’t go in there. Come with me…No fire, just come with me and I'll explain,”.

“What’s going on?” The mom asked, clearly worried.

Buck quickly explained the situation and that police were there.

“Oh my God,” Emma said, her voice cracking and tears coming out of her eyes.

“It’s okay. The cop's name is Athena Grant and I know that you don’t know me or her but I need you to believe me when I say she is the best cop in this whole city and she will do everything she can and she will bring your daughter back to you. She will, I promise,” Buck told her, he knew how scared she must be. He knew there was no worse feeling than your kid being in danger, “Do you believe me, Emma?”.

Emma nodded.

“Good, I need you to wait in the truck for me. Can you do that?” Buck asked again.

“I can,” Emma agreed, “Please…Lily…she’s my whole world…She has to be okay,”.

“She will be, Emma,” Buck reassured, “Lily is in good hands. We got her,”.

Buck helped Emma into the truck and knew he needed to be read with the hose for when they came out with Lily.

He grabbed his phone and climbed up. Not long now. Any second.

The man came out of the house and Lily bit him and he shoved her away. Buck watched and waited. Emma had Lily in her arms. She was safe.

The guy got on the motorbike and speeded away but Buck knew he would be back in a second and he needed to be ready. No one was getting hurt today.

A voice from inside his phone that he had not heard for a very long time said, “Firefighter Buckely, what’s happening?”

Buck was taken aback for a second but then there he was with the gun ready to fire and Buck released the hose and knocked the guy right off the bike in one quick motion.

Athena looked at him with a smile and nod before rushing over to arrest the guy and that’s when Buck’s attention went back to his phone and the voice calling out.

This was something he had not thought about reliving. With everything going on Evan Buckley had completely forgotten about Abby Clark.

“Firefighter Buckely, what’s happening?” Abby’s voice rang out, “I heard gunshots, Is Lily okay?”

Buck took a breath and picked up the phone to speak to a woman he had barely thought about in ten years but thought at one moment in his life was the one.

“Lily is okay. Her Mom has her,” Buck said, shaking his head at how crazy this was, “You did it, Abby. You saved her. You should be here,”.

“Oh My God,” Abby replied down the line, “I feel like I am. Wow. I can’t thank you enough…what you did today…you saved that little girl,”.

“That was all you,” Buck replied, trying to remember if he said the same thing last time, “Well I think Sargent Grant needs some of the credit, but I think she will share it with you. You two are the heroes here”.

Buck hoped he said the right thing and Abby replied, “I appreciate you saying that. Thank you,”.

Buck smiled and ended the phone call. Abby Clark was back in his life again. He felt like such an idiot for forgetting her. How could he have forgotten that with the job came his relationship with Abby, not that he would be doing that this time around? It had been so long since he had been in love with Abby. Nearly fourteen years ago for him now. To him, she was just a past love, someone he had dated while he was looking for Eddie.

Buck wondered if that was fair. He had loved Abby and she had helped him grow in a way. He had changed for her. This time there was no need for that to happen. He did not need Abby Clark.

After helping Athena at the scene who had thanked him for his help and they had made dinner plans for later that week. Buck began the drive back to the firehouse, thinking about his day.

He remembered how it had gone the first time around and how much of an important day it had been for him. The day Bobby had fired him (and rehired). The first day he had worked with Athena Grant as a team. The day that Athena saw him for who he really was. The day he had met Abby.

This time around only one of those was correct.
It had been the day he had (re) met Abby for the first time.

Technically he had not met her, only heard her voice. Still, it was odd how much had changed this time around. Buck had changed so much and sometimes he did not even realise it.

Buck drove into the 118 and this time found the whole team waiting for him and not just Bobby and Hen like last time. The whole team was there and they all made their way over to him as he jumped out.

“You couldn’t have just got ahead with the chores like a normal guy, Buck?” Chimney teased, “Had to be a hero even when you were the man behind?”.

“This is coming from the guy who literally saved my life at my Christmas party?” Buck teased back, “You didn’t even take Christmas off from being a hero!”.

“You did good, Buck,” Hen smiled and Buck could not help himself but leaned in and hugged her.

“Thanks, Hen,” Buck said as he broke the hug.

He then bounded over to Bobby.

“Interesting call out Cap?” Buck asked as he approached Bobby, “Did I miss anything cool?”.

Bobby actually laughed at that and Buck’s heart sank at the sound. Life feels really good right now.

-----------------------------------------------

Every nerve of Buck’s body was on edge as they drove to this call. He knew this call, it was one of the days in his life he had played over and over again in his brain, committing it to memory. He remembered it perfectly. Everything he did and everything he said and maybe more importantly everything he did not do.

This was a big call out for Buck. The first person he had failed to save. The first people he had watched die right in front of him.

This time it would be different. This time Buck was going to save Devan.

“ETA 2 minutes,” Bobby announced from the front of the truck and Buck could feel every single nerve in his body. He was ready for this. He could do it.

“Cap, we need to come in from the other angle otherwise the truck won’t be in the right position,” Buck said, just like he had practised. He knew how this was going to go. He had it all planned out. I could do it.

“Good catch, firefighter Buckley,” Bobby called back as he implemented Buck’s suggestion.

They arrived on the scene and all jumped out at once, quickly grabbing what they needed and making their way to the scene to evaluate and come up with a plan. Not that Buck needed one, he knew how this had gone and he knew how he was going to change the outcome this time.

“That poor kid,” Chim commented, as he looked up towards the sky.

“We need to get up there now,” Bobby announced, “Buck you get in the harness and head up. Hen, Chim, you two check on the victim down here,”

Buck was ready for the instruction and got suited up quickly and was ready to go up. He was ready for this. He could do this. He had gone over and over it in his head, remembered everything he could. He was prepped for this.

“Right, you head up and get him harnessed in. It won’t be too much of a climb at this angle,” Bobby told him, and Buck nodded in understanding at his Captain’s words.

“He’s gonna be freaking out,” Buck replied as he strapped in, he would be up there a lot faster this time around, “See if you can get the crowd moved away and the friend…if he’s…that won’t help him,”.

“I got it,” Bobby confirmed with a nod, “You get up there,”.

Buck nodded and began to climb. He could do this. He could do this. He kept repeating it over and over in his head. He had this. It would be okay. He was going to save Devan. This was why he had woken up in the past, why he had been sent back in time, his purpose. He was going to save people, all the bad calls he could change now. This was the reason.

He climbed and climbed and before long as near the top, he could hear the cries for help.

“Everyone remains calm. We are going to get everyone down safely,” Buck called as he finished his climb, “Keep breathing and keep still for me, that will keep everyone safe,”.

“Hi there,” Buck said, his tone clear and confident, “I’m Buck and I’m going to get you out of here. What’s your name?”.

“Devan…” he cried back as Buck got into position. Hearing Devan speak was odd, his voice was different than Buck remembered, he also seemed so much younger than Devan from his memory, the person in front of him was basically a kid, “Where’s Chad?”

“Chad’s being looked after by my friends, okay?” Buck responded, “They have him. Right now we need to focus on you okay? Don’t look down but he’s being taken care of. Now I’m going to take care of you, I’m not going to let anything happen to you,”.

“Help us!” One of the girls screamed from where she was hanging upside down.

“I will,” Buck promised her but not looking away from Devan, keeping eye contact, “But Devan first okay? Devan, are you doing okay? Now you see this step here? I need you to reach up and just slide it through the loop okay?”

“I can’t!” Devan cried, and Buck remembered this but this time would be different. This time he would save Devan.

“You’re scared, Devan. Of course, you are. I’m scared too and so are all these people up here as well, but we are going to do this okay? We are going to do this together and get you home and safe to your family okay?” Buck said these were carefully selected words that he had thought about. The Buck that had done this the first time around would never have admitted he was scared.

“I can’t do it,” Devan said again and Buck remembered this so clearly. He knew what Devan would say and Buck had planned his response ever so carefully.

“You can do it! You can! We can do it together. Everything is easier when you aren’t alone…” Buck told him, just like he had rehearsed, “When I'm scared I think about my sister, my big sister. Me and her, we’re a team. Do you have a sister Devan?”

“Liz…” Devan cried, thinking about his beautiful sister. She would see this and watch this.

“Then I want you to think about Liz when you reach up. That’s all I need you to do. Just reach up and I'll do everything else…just a little…We are going to do this together and get you back on the ground and back to your sister…to Liz….Come on Devan,” Buck encouraged, every fibre of his being was screaming for this to work for this to go right this time.

“Okay…” Devan agreed and Buck felt like cheering. It was working, this could work.

“Okay on the count of three life your arm that’s all you need to do and I’ll do the rest. Are you ready?” Buck asked and he saw Devan nod, “One…Two…Three!”.

Buck watched as Devan did it and he moved quickly and got him strapped in! He did it!

He saved Devan! He saved a life! A human life! He changed his past! He did it!

The theme park was the last call of the night and once everyone had been safely returned to the ground Buck was more than ready to leave this place. Buck could see that the press was gathering around and remembered how he had been caught out last time and cornered for an interview. This time he happily avoided the press and made it back to his team who all told him what a good job he had done and how this was a victory.

Buck knew that. This was a big one for him. He had saved the life of someone he had failed to the first time around. He was actively changing the timeline. Devan would get to go on and live a full life now and his sister would not have to live hers always wishing her brother was there. Buck had changed something on purpose. He had planned it and it had succeeded. Buck started to think of all the other calls where he had lost people that he could easily save this time.

Not to mention how much pain he would be able to stop his own family. This was good. This was very good.

“Come on, Buck,” Bobby called, “Shift’s over. Time to go home,”.

Buck rushed over and jumped into the truck still riding high from his save all the way back to the station. His good mood was clearly infectious to the others as the chatter was light and full of laughter. Add Eddie in and to Buck, it would have felt like old times.

Everyone was quick to pack up and leave the stations with calls that they would see each other tomorrow for their next shift. Buck himself was happy to get home and back to the 117. He drove with all the windows down letting all the air in as he blasted his music and drove through the traffic-free streets. He felt free and the most alive he had felt in months. He was souring.

Making it home in record time, Buck pulled into the 117 openings of the doors on his phone and double-checked everything was locked properly before heading upstairs. Buck walked into the main room and saw the usual sight of Dan and Maddie snuggled up on the couch, with Maddie making sure she was cuddled up the side that he had not been shot at.

“Hey guys,” Buck greeted, making his presence known as he walked over and sunk into the armchair.

“Hey look, it's Spiderman!” Dan greeted him with a small laugh to himself.

“We watched you on TV,” Maddie added, “I’m never going to get used to watching you in situations like that. You couldn’t have been an accountant?”.

“Mads, you used to check my maths homework, you know I'm crap at Maths,” Buck reminded her it felt good to be off his feet.

“You saved that kid’s life,” Maddie replied proudly as she smiled fondly at him.

“I did,” Buck said, equally proud of himself as he grinned back.

“That was so cool, mate,” Dan added on, “You weren’t scared. Being that high up?”.

Buck shook his head, “Heights don’t bother me like that. Was more scared of Devon letting go and falling. How are you feeling?”.

“Restless. Tired all the time,” Dan complained, he did not feel his recovery was not going fast enough for him and Buck could sympathise, “Went to the site of our new job to check up on the guys and when I got back literally passed out for like two hours,”.

“You need to be patient,” Maddie reminded him as she reached out and squeezed his hand in comfort, “Recovery takes time, you can’t rush your body into healing,”.

Buck had heard her saying the same thing to him so many times over the years and he always hated it, “Sucks waiting though when you are used to working non-stop and suddenly have to nap like a toddler in the afternoon,”.

“Right!” Dan agreed enthusiastically, “I can accept I can’t go back to work working on construction but I’d like to be able to at least do the admin work,”.

“You’ll get there,” Buck told him, “You might never be the same, you might always find your side hurts after long days or your body needs more rest but one day you’ll just wake up and have a day where you don’t think about your injury once and that’s a great day,”.

“I’d like a date for when that would be,” Dan moaned and Buck got it. He understood how Dan was feeling and how terrible the road of recovery was.

“That I don’t know,” Buck reminded, “What I do know is that I'm hungry? Anyone want Chinese?”.

They ordered way too much food and sat on the couches with bad reality TV as they ate. It was nice for Buck to have people come home after a day like today. It was better not to be alone. Laughing and chatting with Maddie and Dan felt great. Buck hated being alone, he just was not used to it anymore. He had not been alone in years, having Eddie and Chris come home too. Buck counted himself lucky to have Maddie and Dan to come home with after today.

“I’m gonna go for a bath,” Maddie announced from where she lay with her feet over Dan’s lap on the couch after eating too much Chinese food.

“You said that ten minutes ago,” Buck reminded her from where he was sitting in the armchair with his feet on the coffee table.

“I mean it this time,” Maddie muttered but did not move.

“Sure you do, love,” Dan muttered in his British accent, he was basically asleep at the end of the couch.

“I’m getting up,” Maddie said as groaned as she moved to stand up, “You should head to bed, the pair of you. You don’t want to fall asleep down here,”.

“Yes, Mom,”

“Yes, dear,”

Buck and Dan spoke together. Maddie sighed and walked out of the main living room to head upstairs to get her bath.

Once Buck was sure she was out of earshot, he said to Dan, “She okay?”.

Dan nodded, “She’s going out more, but…I don’t know sometimes she’s so quiet. I try to get her to talk about…that night but she closes herself off. Shuts down on me,”.

Buck looked at Dan, the man who had taken a bullet to try and protect Maddie. He may want his sister to end up with Chimney but that was no reflection on Dan. Dan was a fine man, a good man. He treated Maddie right and made her happy, but Buck knew he was not Chim. Dan was younger and just did not fit with Maddie the way that Chimney had. Buck knew it would be Maddie and Chimney but hoped Dan did not get hurt in the process.

“Thank you, for looking out for her,” Buck told him, “You’ve been amazing,”.

“Maddie is easy to love,” Dan replied casually. “It’s not hard,”.

Love, Buck thought, “I missed her so much, I just want her to be happy…and safe,”.

“I think she’ll get there,” Dan pondered out loud, “I just wish I knew how to help her more. Wish I could get her to talk,”.

Buck sighed, “Maddie isn’t used to trusting people, she was on her own with….that man for so long. Isolated. She’s still getting used to having people around again. Maddie’s always had to be strong, our parents put way too much on her from such a young age. She basically raised me. Maddie isn’t used to having people who are there to take care of her. Just give her time. Let me know you are there and hopefully, she will talk to you when she’s ready,”.

Dan nodded, “Is that what you are doing?”.

“Yeah,” Buck relented, “I worry about her, she’s my family. Just wished I could have stopped this whole thing from happening,”.

“That would have been nice,” Dan agreed, “Shame we can’t change the past,”.

“Yeah,” Buck agree guiltily.

=================

Buck and Bobby were cooking food together, something that had become a daily occurrence at the 118. Buck could tell that Bobby liked having the help in the kitchen and due to Buck’s years of experience cooking with Bobby, that pair worked extremely well together. Something that Buck knew had surprised Bobby. Buck was aware that this time around there was very little teaching being done. The first time around Bobby had been Buck’s teacher in the kitchen, whereas now they were much more equal in skills. The meal prepped as they bounced ideas back and forth between them.

It was still exciting for Buck to be back here. He wondered if that feeling would ever go away, of feeling grateful to have this second chance at his life with his found family. He had always loved the 118 and the people in it but it was so much more special with everything he had lost the first time. This felt incredible to Buck, to be able to get to know his family again and this time to be a better version of himself.

It was just another day, another shift. and yet Buck felt like it was special. Chimney was moping at the table as he finished cooking with Bobby.

“I don’t get why you are dating her,” Buck added to Chim talking about his latest drama with Tatiana not being as into him as he was to her. Buck had to refrain from rolling his eyes. It was frustrating to know where and who the women Chimney would end up with but to also know they weren’t ready for each other yet.

“She’s gorgeous, she’s funny, she’s smart…” Chimney listed, counting off on his fingers as he goes.

“She’s only into you because you are a firefighter,” Buck added as he cut Chimney’s list off.

“Buck,” Bobby cut in his Captain/Dad voice that was telling Buck he was going too far.

Buck just shot Bobby the I-know-you-agree-with-me look and carried on plating up the food.

“Buck I’ve had interview requests for you about last night,” Bobby told him changing the subject in a not at all subtle way, “Think this might go national,”.

“Aw…our little Buck’s first big news story…” Chimney teased, “He’s growing up so fast, isn’t he Cap?”.

Buck smiled in good nature at Chimney teasing, “No thanks, Bobby,”.

“This is part of the job, Buck,” Chim told him, in an 'I know better than you' tone, “A good part as well, it’s fun! You should embrace it!”.

“That kid nearly died last night,” Buck told Chimney, thinking about the interviews he did last time and how much he hated them. He knew it was different this time as Buck had saved Devan, “The other kid, Chad did die…it’s not something I want to talk about,”.

“Losing people is part of the job and it never gets any easier,” Bobby answered as he handed Buck stuff to take to the table.

“People dying is part of the gig,” Chim said as he sat down, “Your problem is that you are looking at every job like a long term relationship. There are only one night stands, Buckaroo. At that moment they mean everything to you, but once the morning comes it’s on to the next,”.

Buck wanted to point out that he met all of his relationships on the job, Abby, Ally, Taylor and of course Eddie but before he could Hen walked up to the stairs with Athena following behind.

“Hey! You guys don’t mind I brought some company to a family dinner” Hen announced, “Athena is going through some stuff at home and she needs the TLC,”.

Buck smiled at his friend, he knew a lot was going on with Athena at the moment and even more to come. The problem was he felt nervous around her with the idea that he knew too much but he still wanted to be there for his friend and help her.

“Well we don’t usually allow cops at secret firehouse meetings,” Bobby replied, walking from the kitchen over to Athena who met him halfway to hug her, “But all right! I’ll be an exception,”.

“Mm Uh,” Athena replied with a smile. Buck's heart jumped at seeing Athena and Bobby hugging and standing close together. He loved them both as individual people but he also loved them as a couple. They would form a family unit that he would be a part of and in turn care for him in a way his own parents never did. Looking at them made Buck think about the future that the pair would share, “I Appreciate that”.

Buck moved to hug Athena after she and Bobby broke apart, “Glad you are here,” He told her as he hugged her close. He knew she would be needing it. He wished there was more he could do to help Athena after all the times she had helped him in his previous life.

“Thank Buck,” Athena said with a smile as everyone sat down and began loading their plates up with food, “You cook?”.

“With Bobby’s help,” Buck said with a smile and a wink at Bobby to let him know he was only joking and he knew that it was him helping Bobby, “Let’s eat!”.

Athena laughed as they all sat down to eat, “Then I look forward to it. How are you doing after last night? Harry you on TV, said it was the coolest thing ever!”.

“I’m okay,” Buck smiled at her, “Saved a life. A good day,”.

“Right, I’m still unclear on how you two actually know each other?” Hen asked. Buck knew he had been vague about the details, he still felt nervous whenever it came to changing his own personal history.

“Athena, Please tell me you arrested him for something embarrassing?” Chim responded gleefully.

“No, nothing like that,” Athena corrected with a shake of her head, “I met Buck…”.

And just like that dinner was over as the bell rang out.

“One day we will actually finish a meal,” Hen said as they all jumped up and headed out.

Buck felt ready. He could do this.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The call-out was nothing major and for once it was actually a job that mainly involved putting out a fire. They were in the middle of nowhere and some kids had started a fire. They were just putting the last of it out when Buck’s phone rang. It was an unknown number and Buck’s whole body ran cold. The hospital. What if Doug had finally woken up from the coma. How would he tell Maddie?

“Hello,” Buck answered nervously, expecting the worst.

“Hi, it’s Abby….Uh, Abby Clark,” and Buck had not been expecting this. With Devan surviving he had assumed that she would never call to check in on him and they would never meet in person. He had already been coming up with plans on how to bump into Carla so he could make sure they still met and became friends. Not only did he want to be able to introduce her to Eddie when the time came but she was also family to him and he could not fathom not having her in his life. Buck had been preparing to never meet Abby.

“I don’t know if you remember me…we talked the other day after the home invasion,” Abby carried on when Buck did not respond, “I was the 911 operator,”.

“Right…Yes, Abby,” Buck responded, taken completely off guard, “How did you get this number?”.

“Oh it’s was in the report,” Abby replied and a little voice that sounded way too much like Eddie told him that was creepy and a breach of personal information, “I just want to call…and I don’t know check on you…I heard you saved that kid on the rollercoaster and I wanted to reach out…I guess,”.

Buck really was taken aback, he was not prepared for this. He honestly thought that he could skip this whole part of his life that Abby and he would just not happen. He had no interest in her, she was not his person. His person was Eddie. Abby was just someone from his past. Someone he thought he had loved.

“Thanks…It’s nice to hear from you,” Buck said, feeling out of control. He did not know what to say, “You were a real hero the other day,”.

No matter what else, Buck knew that this was a bad time in Abby’s life and she was going through a lot with her Mom and feeling unrecognised at her job. He could not be friendly and tried to help her a little bit. After all this Abby had not done anything to him. She had never left him.

“Thank, but that’s definitely you,” Abby said with a laugh, “Stopping home invasions and now saving that guy from falling. You are the hero,”.

“Thank you,” Buck replied, thinking he needed to ask something, “How are you doing?”.

“I’m okay…just wanted to check in with you,” Abby replied, “We made a good team the other day…”.

“We did,” Buck agreed, he thinks the first time this is about the time he thanked her for calling and asked if they could speak again, “Thank you…for calling and checking in on me…that was really nice of you…great actually…maybe we’ll work together again,”.

“Well you have my number or you know you can just call 911 to reach me,” Abby jokes badly and Buck remembered it from last time.

“I do,” Buck said kindly, “Bye Abby,”.

He hung up. Well, maybe everything wasn’t quite as clear as he thought. This had been unexpected.

---------------------------------------------------------

Maddie suddenly woke up and sat up in bed, not from a nightmare or even a good dream, just randomly. She was laying on her side and she felt that Dan’s arm was draped over her and she could hear him snoring away softly. She lay for a moment wondering what woke her up. She listened for any sound. Nothing, but something was not right. She sat up and gently moved Dan off her. He was deeply sleeping and just shuffled slightly before his breath evened out.

Grabbing her phone and opened the security app that Buck had downloaded for her. When she had moved in Buck had already an excellent security system in place but he had increased it since the incident over Christmas. Now she was able to use her phone to check the cameras that were placed around the firehouse. She quickly saw lights on in the main room and Buck in the kitchen.

Maddie sighed, it was nearly 3 am what was he doing up. She got up and quietly moved around the room getting her slippers and covering herself with one of Dan’s hoodies. She then softly tiptoed out of the room and made her way downstairs to find out what her little brother was doing this time.

“Evan,” Maddie called softly as she walked in, not wanting to startle him. He was clearly cooking. The oven was on and there were three pans cooking something on the job. She could also three or four separate chopping boards covered in food. Who was he feeding?

“Hey Mads,” Buck greeted back casually like it was normal for Maddie to walk in and find her little brother cooking enough food to feed a family for a week at 3 am.

Maddie made her way over and sat down on one of the stools opposite Buck. It still hurts to look at him sometimes. He was so different to the little brother she had known. In the time they had spent apart, he had changed massively and Maddie wished she knew more about how it had become this person in front of her. He was still the same kind, passionate and funny person he had always been, but there was a level of confidence he had never had before, like he knew who he was and where he belonged. Maddie could see that Buck knew what he wanted and was finite in his decisions.

She had tried to talk to him and find out about what he had done in their time apart but he had just told her stories which she knew already from the postcards. Maddie’s gut was telling her there was more he was not telling her. That there had been a part of his life that had caused him to grow up and people who had helped him get there. Maddie wanted to know about that part of her brother’s life.

“You okay?” Buck asked once she was in front of him, “You couldn’t sleep?”.

Maddie shook her head, “I’m okay, just woke up randomly and saw you were down here…why are you cooking at this time? You can’t be this hungry,”.

“Erm…May…You know Athena’s daughter, you met her at the Christmas party…” Buck explained and Maddie nodded in confirmation, “Well, last night she overdosed,”.

“Oh My…Is she?... Will she be okay?” Maddie asked she had chatted with May at Christmas and she seemed like a nice bright young girl, she had liked her.

Buck nodded, “I think so…Eventually,”.

“So this food?” Maddie prompted.

“I can’t do much for them right now…For Athena,” Buck tried to explain, he could not be there at the hospital. It would be weird. They were not family, not yet, “But I can cook enough food for their freezer that at least they don’t have to worry about cooking,”.

“That’s…really smart,” Maddie replied, wondering where he had got the idea from.

Buck knew it was, he knew from experience. From Abuela, the first thing she did when she knew Eddie was coming home from the hospital after being shot was starting cooking so that food would be taken care of. Food was how that woman showed her love and Buck had adopted that. Buck remembered her teaching him all her family recipes and how that was her way of telling him he was a part of her family now.

He could not be there for Athena and May and support that emotionally but he could support them by making their favourite foods.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19 - How to Save a Life?

Buck knew this was a week that he was going to change a major thing from his own timeline. He had not been able to stop May from hurting herself but he could stop another member of his family from getting hurt this week. There was pain that he could spare.

This was the week that Chimney would get into a car accident and would end up with rebar in his head.

Buck was going to stop that.

He knew when it would happen and more importantly, he knew why it happened and he was going to change that. He was going to change the why.

This was a big one, a big change. Buck had been thinking about it for weeks now. He had written notes on a password-protected document on his laptop titled taxes 2014, which no one would ever even try to open. He had written everything he could think of, every little detail and now he was going to put that into effect. He was going to save Chimney.

They were in the truck on their way to a ten-year-old’s birthday party that had not gone to plan. This would be the first thing he was going to change that hopefully would have an impact on the week’s events.

They pulled up and quickly grabbed what they needed and made their way to the background.

“We’ve got an adult male down on the hillside,” Hen called out, Buck remembered this one, calls with kids involved always stood out to him, “Three kids inside of the bouncy house,”.

Bobby began giving his orders, “Trucks on the service road. Hen I want you and Buck to repel down and anchor that Bouncy house. Assess the condition of those kids, start to send them down in the basket and I'll take care of the Dad. Chimney, you are gonna stay up here and work the winch,”.

“Actually Bobby,” Buck cut in before Chimney could speak, “Can I do the winch? I’ve had loads of practice, but would love more practical experience,”.

Buck was not surprised by the look on Bobby’s face, he had clearly surprised him by asking not to be the one repelling down and Buck got his surprise. The first time around Buck would never have asked such a thing, always wanting to be right in the middle of all the action.

This time things were different.

“That’s fine,” Bobby agreed, though still looking taken aback, “Chim, you okay going down with Hen?”

“Happy to join in on the fun, Cap” Chimney agreed, and Buck nodded at the man. He hoped this worked.

They all got to work and Buck could feel the nervous energy as his teammates got ready to go down. This had to go to plan. Everything would be fine. Buck watched as they all went down, he expertly worked the winch.

“Bouncy house secure,” Hen called over the radio and Buck let out a breath of relief.

“Copy that,” Buck called back, everything was going as it should be. He watched as Chim talked to the kid, he was ready for the order to lower the basket down which came a few moments later. He sent the basket down and watched as Hen got the first kid.

“We’ve good, Buck. Take us down,”. Buck heard Chim order and he quickly let them down.

Buck watched from up high as the family reunited and smiled. His plan had gone perfectly.

“All good down here, kid,” Bobby called over the radio, “Excellent work on the wrench, you can pack up topside,”.

“You got it, Cap,” Buck called back up with a smile. This was going to work, he could feel it.

It was near the end of his shift and Buck was working out, thinking about what would happen this week and what he would need to change. Going over every detail in his head. He knew that Chimney proposed and got rejected but he was not sure how he could go about changing that. He and Chimney were friends but they were nowhere near the level where he would tell Buck’s his proposal plans and listen to his opinions. He was pretty sure Chimney did not even tell Hen about his plans beforehand.

After that would come the fight with Bobby. Buck knew he would be able to help with that. He knew Bobby and Chimney and his plan was to stop the fight before it even began. Get in between them and stop the situation from getting out of hand. Then Chimney would not storm out and get into the accident. If that did not work Buck would just go after him and throw away his car keys or something. Oh, maybe he should let the air out of Chimney’s tiers once he arrives at work. He bet Olly would do it for 100$ no questions asked. That was a good idea.

Buck stopped doing pull-ups to text Olly when his phone actually started ringing. This time it was not just a number but a name. Abby. Buck sighed. He had hoped that maybe she would not call him again.

He thought about letting it ring out but could not do that.

“Hello,” He answered as he sat down.

“Hey, Buck, It’s Abby…Abby Clark…” Abby began speaking down the phone.

“The 911 dispatcher,” Buck finished for her, “I know, I saved your number,”.

“You did,” Abby replied with a hopeful tone in her voice.

“Thought you might call again,” Buck responded, “Seemed like your thing, talking on phones. You know most people text or Snap or facetime if the situation calls for it, but actually calling on phones…well that’s old school,”.

“Yeah…I guess that’s true,” Abby agreed with a laugh. Buck always did like her laugh. “Guess I spent my life talking on phones. My comfortable form of communication,”.

Buck remembered this bit, he called it old fashioned and then she asked him out. Buck knew it was coming.

“It’s nice,” He said lamely, wishing the ground would just swallow him up. This was such a weird situation having re-live this relationship, only this time there were no feelings on his side.

“So…I had an idea which was that I was thinking that maybe we could maybe go out and get a drink sometime…in person?” Abby asked him,

“Like a date?” Buck confirmed, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, like a date, I’m asking you out on a date,” Abby confirmed.

“That sounds great and in another life, I’d say yes, but Abby…I’m kinda lost right now…and dating isn’t really something that i’m in a place to be doing with anyone and you seem really smart and funny and amazing and I’m sure I’m an idiot for doing this, but I can’t date you,” Buck confessed, he would not date anyone but Eddie Diaz. He had no interest in anyone else.

“Oh,” Abby replied, “Okay,”.

“I don’t know about you but I’m new to this whole world of first responders and you seem really smart and easy to talk to and I don’t know what going on in your life but I could do with a friend in mine,” Buck offered, knowing that he had enough friends but Abby did not and no matter how badly their relationship ended he did not believe that Abby was a bad person. She was a good person who was struggling and Buck liked to help people.

Edde had once told him that he liked to fix people’s problems and he was correct. Buck could not see someone who needed help and not at least try to help and Buck knew that right now Abby needed a friend and would need a friend with everything that would happen over the next couple of months.

“You want to be friends?” Abby asked, and Buck could hear the surprise in her voice.

“I know that’s not why you called me, but it’s all I can offer,” Buck told her, honestly it was all he could offer her, “And I happen to be a really great friend,”.

“I could use a friend,” Abby agreed, “I’d be into that, actually,”.

“So we can be friends?” Buck asked.

“We can be friends,” Abby agreed.

“Well, Friend,” Buck teased, “As it goes, I could use some advice about this friend I have? We could meet up and grab a coffee. Tomorrow maybe?”.

“Sounds good!” Abby replied back, “I’ll…”

“Call you?” Buck finished for her with a small laugh.

“Yes, Bye Buck,” Abby said.

“Bye Abby,” Buck said before hanging up. This may not have been in his plans but it felt like the right thing to do. Buck knew it did not owe Abby anything and yet he still felt she had been a part of his life and one of his reasons to grow up. Being with Abby had taught up a lot about the man he was and who he wanted to grow and be.

He did not need Abby to help him figure out who he was this time. Buck knew firmly who he was and he liked who he was. Abby did not though and maybe Buck could help her.

__________________________________

Buck was ready to go to work. today was the big day. Today was the day that the first time around Chimney had gotten into a car crash and ended up with a rebar through his head. This would not be happening this time, Buck was going to make sure of that. He had it all planned out. He had gone over everything in excruciating detail to make sure he had all of his angles covered.

Buck was not prepared to let Chimney get hurt. He was family and you did not still back and let family get hurt. He was going to save him.

Buck was certain the date and time were right, that any minute Chimney would walk up the stairs of the 118 and get into a fight with Bobby. He had been full of nervous energy all day and Buck thought that Hen had picked up on his restlessness and had forced him to sit down and play games with him to give him something to do.

“You okay, Buck?” Hen asked as she both played video games, racing through the streets, “Something bothering you?”

“Stop distracting me,” Buck shot back, despite knowing Hen was actually asking, the only issue was he could not tell her he was nervous because he knew Chimney would get into a life-threatening accident if he did not act. Buck wished he could talk to her.

“Like I need to,” Hen shot back, “You suck at this, Buckley,”.

Buck had to agree. He had never been overly skilled at video games, regularly losing to Albert, Eddie and Chirs, and going back in time and playing old video games did not help.

“I’m doing fine!” Buck argued he was sure he ran over a group of pedestrians.

“You just murdered a whole group of people!” Hen groaned him, “And now you are fleeing the scene!”.

“They will be fine!” Buck told her, “Obama care,”.

“Give me that,” Hen said as she grabbed the controller and Buck dramatically reacted.

“Hey! Someone call HR!” he yelled as he slipped off the couch and his controller was now firmly in Hen’s grasp, “Hen!”.

“Such a child!” Hen teased, “Hey Chimney, it’s your turn”.

Buck stopped messing around and looked towards the top of the stairs to see Chimney had arrived. He looked tense. Walking right past them and did not say a word. This was it then.

Buck centred himself. He needed to handle this situation delicately and not freak out.

“What’s up with him,” Hen whispered to herself, but also Buck heard.

“Let’s go see,” Buck suggested and they both made their way over.

“Hey, Chim. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hen asked as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“You want to talk about it?” Buck offered, as Bobby walked out of his office to join them.

“I’m not a bad looking guy, right? I’m good looking?” Chimney asked, but did not give anyone the chance to respond before he carried on, “Like you could do a lot worse than me, right? I’m a good guy with a stable job and I'm funny!”.

“Really funny!” Buck added on trying to be helpful and keep Chim from going on the defensive.

“Chimney, I've done a whole lot worse than you,” Hen told him softly with kindness and with their friendship he would know who she was referring to.

“Me too!” Buck agreed, “My dating history is questionable which is a nice way of putting it,”.

“Do you think I would be a good dad?” Chimney then asked.

Buck had forgotten Chimney had asked this, but his brain flooded him with memories of him being an amazing Dad to Jee and to the boys. Memories of holidays and birthdays and school plays and soccer games where Chimney had supported and loved his kids. All of these things that Buck had seen Chimney be the best Dad he could be and Buck could not tell him, but Buck knew.

“Chimney,” Buck said, “I know you will be an amazing Dad. Trust me, no doubt about it,”.

“Buck is right,” Hen agreed, “Of course, you would be a great dad. What is going on with you?”

“I asked Tatiana to marry me,” Chim told them, and Buck knew that. Still, it seemed that this had not changed.

“You did what?” Hen asked and Buck watched Bobby as he said nothing. Bobby just started cleaning the kitchen and had a strange expression on his face as Chimney explained what had happened and how Taiana had had a fiance Chimney did not know about. Buck knew he needed to handle this correctly.

“Chimney, I’m sorry,” Hen told him, “It’s not the response you may have wanted but it’s not a no,”.

“How long have you been thinking about proposing?” Buck asked, the first time around he had not known Chimney that well. This time he did. He knew his friend had not proposed because he loved Tatiana and thought she was the one, the great love of his life but rather wanted to be married and be in that part of his life.

“Not long,” Chimney admitted, shifting slightly from one foot to the other“It was a recent development,”.

“Wow,” Buck said, knowing what part he had to play, “Chim, that's amazing! I had no idea you felt that way about Tatianna, that’s she the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The person who you just can’t live without because…because life without them is just no life at all. The person you always want to talk to about everything and do everything with because life is just better when you're with them. I think that’s what we all want deep down to find the person who we just fit with, someone who loves us for who we are and we love them the same. Someone you are your most authentic self around,”.

Buck thought of Eddie. The person he should have asked to marry him after their first kiss and not wasted so much stupid time. He regretted that they never got married, it was so stupid. They thought they had all the time in the world. They had been so wrong. Time had not been on the side in the end and he had lost Eddie.

Being with Eddie had been just like Buck described to Chimney. Life was better with Eddie.

Bobby, Hen and Chimney were all looking at him.

“I felt that way about Karen,” Hen confessed and Buck beamed at her. He knew that. He also knew that Chimney felt that way about his sister, he had watched them over the years and even in the toughest of times Chimney had never given up on her. He had driven across the county looking for her to bring her home.

“Everyone should feel that way when they get engaged,” Buck added, “I mean it’s a big thing, you found the one, your best friend, the person you want to talk to for the rest of your life and wants to talk to you for the rest of there's. That’s life-changing. Love like that is life-changing,”.

“She didn’t say yes, it was basically a no,” Chimney replied and Buck wondered if any of his words had an impact and if Chimney had realised he did not love Tatianna like Hen loved Karen.

“Probably for the best,” Bobby chipped in and Buck’s hair on the back of his neck stood up. This was it.

“What did you say?” Chimney asked, turning to Bobby. Buck felt alarm bells ringing in his head, if only they would ring in real life as well. A call about now would be perfect.

“Nothing,” Bobby said as he tidied up the clutter into the draws, “I’m sorry, ignore me…I didn’t mean anything by that…You doing okay?”.

Chimney turned to Bobby and Buck could see a shift in mood from upset to angry, “Of course you meant something by that. ‘Properly for the best’ - there has to be some meaning behind that, Bobby…you don’t like her,”.

“We don’t really know her, Chim,” Buck cut in, he needed to slow this time and stop it before it became more.

“Never said I didn’t like her,” Bobby carried on, “I don’t like her for you. It’s like Buck said she should be someone you are your most authentic self around and we all know you aren’t like that around her,”.

“And what the hell does that even mean?” Chimney asked and Buck locked eyes with Hen and tried to communicate that they needed to stop this, “No! Come on! Tell me! What does that mean? I’m getting tired of you standing there just silently judging me with that…there it is…that smirk on your face! You are always so quick to comment on everyone’s life but..”.

“Chim, come on,” Bobby said, but Chimney was on a roll now.

“But you completely shut down whenever we ask about yours. Why is that? How long have we worked together Bobby and yet I know nothing about you? I’ve never even met your wife or kids! You just sit brooding with that little book of yours!”.

“Hey!” Buck shouted, his voice loud and echoing around the loft, “Chimney! Bobby!”

Clearly, no one had been expecting that from him because they all turned to look at him.

“Chimney, I get what you are saying and I understand…I do…We all have questions about Cap and why he doesn’t feel comfortable to open up with us…yet,” Buck began walking towards and standing firmly in the middle between them, “You are upset, man and this is not the way we should have that conversation.

Now I think what Bobby was saying to stay is you are awesome and one of the best people I know and we just want you to be with someone who sees you for who you are and loves you for being that person. A person who loves how you make them feel safe and who makes them laugh when they forget what it's like to laugh like that. You deserve that kind of love and we don’t know Tatianna that well and if it’s her then that is amazing and we have you back…but if she’s not the one…then that’s her loss,”.

Chim stared at Buck who was still standing between Bobby and himself.

“Buck’s right Chim,” Hen added, “You pretend to be someone you’re not when you are around her when the real you should be more than enough for her,”.

“I’m sorry Chimney,” Bobby added quietly, not wanting to set him off again.

Chimney nodded and walked downstairs towards the changing rooms. Buck watched him go and let out a breath he had been holding in. Chimney had not left. He was still here. It was going to be okay.

The topic got dropped after that and the shift went on as normal. A little tense at the time but luckily calls were busy enough that they had no time to dwell on that.

After work Buck gave Chimney no choice but to come out and get a drink with him. He drove that to Patty’s and made sure they drank after midnight. He happily brought Chim drinks, happy going to the more expensive top-shelf liquid. Anything to keep Chimney drinking with him and off the roads and far away from the accident spot.

Buck let Chimney rant about Tatianna and the situation to his heart's content which was the best part of two hours. It was hard to sit and listen to his future brother-in-law talk about another woman who was not Buck’s sister. Buck was a good sport and listened to Chimney talk and chip in every now and again with his own thoughts but mainly he just listened to the other man talk.

After a couple of hours, Olly and Jesse walked in and joined them for a couple of drinks. Buck wondered what was going on with his two friends who actually reminded Buck of Maddie and Chim before they got together. They were clearly smitten with each other and Buck thought he would need to ask Dan what was going on with them. Olly was not good at keeping secrets and would have at least told something to his best friend.

Will had been working behind the bar and had allowed them to stay once he called the last order. They had tried to get Will to join them but Will had had early law class and handed over the keys and told Buck to make sure he locked up after them.

They drank for a few more hours and Buck was relaxing more as the evening went on. He felt more like he had done it, that Chimney was okay. That he had done it, he had stopped the rebar from going through his head. He had done it. Chimney would never have to go through the pain and recovery. Once again Buck had proved that there was a point to what had happened to him, he had been sent back to help and make changes to the life he had lived. He had had an impact and changed Chim’s fate.

They drank into the night and Buck shared an uber with Chimney, who was pretty wasted. Buck got them both dropped off at the 117. Getting a drunk chimney up to the top floor was a challenge, particularly as Buck was trying not to wake up Maddie and Dan who would definitely be sleeping. Eventually, Chimney was asleep in the guest room with a glass of water and some painkillers for the morning.

“Buck, what’s going on?” Maddie's voice surprised him as he left the spare room.

“Hey, Mads” Buck greeted with a dopey smile, he was also a little drunk, “Went drinking with Chim, he’s had a bad day…propose and got rejected and needed to keep him safe and out of the car”.

Maddie nodded at her brother’s drunken explanation, “You going to bed?”

Buck nodded, “Love you, Mads”

“Night Buck,” Maddie replied, “Love you too,”.

~~~~~~~~~

Buck woke up early the next morning and quickly showered before heading downstairs to start breakfast for the inhabitants of the 117. Dan was the first one to come down and he made a beeline right for the freshly made coffee before even greeting Buck. After Dan basically living at the 117 since Christmas Buck was used to Dan not being a morning person till after he had tasted coffee. Dan took a sip of his coffee and Buck heard him moan with happiness.

“Morning,” Dan mumbled to Buck then, his voice still rough, “More coffee?”.

Buck nodded and Dan grabbed Buck’s empty cup and filled it and placed it next to Buck. The two men then just keep the quiet between them, Dan sat at the island drinking the coffee and Buck made the food.

Seemingly randomly Dan stood up and made another cup of coffee and then a moment later Maddie walked in.

“Morning guys!” Maddie greeted, she was much better in the morning than her boyfriend.

Dan handed Maddie the coffee, who happily took it and thanked Dan with a small kiss. Buck watched as Dan smiled down at Maddie after he pulled away and his sister smiled back. She looked happy and that was all Buck ever wanted for her.

“No sign of our guest yet?” Maddie asked Buck, as she turned to face Buck and Dan wrapped his arms around her from the back allowing Maddie to learn back against him.

“Guest?” Dan asked, confused as to what his girlfriend meant.

“Went out for a drink with Chim last night,” Buck explained as he carried on cooking his full breakfast for everyone, “We had a couple too many. Bet he’ll come down with the smell of food,”.

“He okay?” Dan asked with a cornered tone.

Buck shrugged, “Lots going on with him right now. Think he needed a friend,”.

“Well, he’s always welcome here,” Maddie said, “If he needs friends around him,”.

“Too right, he’s a good guy, I like him” Dan agreed, “Plus he did save our lives so there is that as well,”.

Buck nodded, “He is. Chimney is one of the best people I know. He’s someone you can rely on to be there when you need him,”.

Buck smiled as he thought about his brother. Chimney was family and Buck loved him. Not just because Buck Chimney was his brother in law, Maddie's Husband. Outside of that Buck loved Chimney as a memory of his family, as someone who was a brother to him. They had their rough spots. After Maddie and Chim had gotten together they had struggled for a while to find their footing. They had both loved Maddie so much and been placed in the middle so many times by Maddie. It had been hard for the three of them to find their rhythm as a family.
Buck and Chim had their own relationship outside of Maddie. They had to learn to respect and understand they were part of the same team. They had found that through Chim and Buck. Found out how they worked as brothers in law.

“Morning,” Chim’s voice echoed from the doorway.

“Howie!” Maddie greeted and Buck was taken back to so many memories of his sister calling her husband that. It was weird to hear.

“Hey man,” Dan greeted, from where he was drinking his coffee with Maddie still resting against him smiling, “Come grab some coffee,”.

“And water,” Buck added, “You need to hydrate,”.

Chim walked towards the kitchen and helped himself to some coffee, “Thanks for letting me crash here, didn’t mean to drink so much,”.

“No drama” Buck waved Chim off, “I didn’t either, the night got away from us. I’ll make us some food and we will sort out our hangovers before our shift,”.

“I’m off today, Buck,” Chim reminded him, “I had to switch with Roberts for his brother’s bachelor party, remember?”.

“Damn,” Buck had completely forgotten this, guess it would just be a shift with Hen and Bobby.

“Tough luck, buddy,” Chim replied, happily drinking his coffee.

“Are you gonna be okay to work?” Maddie asked, with her concerned look towards her little brother.

“Yeah,” Buck agreed with a shrug, “I’ll eat this breakfast and do a quick workout before I go. I’ll be fine. Let’s eat!”.

Everyone pitched in to help move the food to the table and sat down to eat Buck’s extra spread of food for breakfast.

“This is amazing,” Chim commented, eying up the pancakes “Do you always eat like this?”.

“We did when Buck wasn’t working,” Dan replied as he helped himself to a pile of bacon, “Not as much since he’s been back to work,”.

“Aw! Dan, are you missing me?” Buck teased, as he watched everyone tuck into his breakfast.

“Missing you food, mate,” Dan answered, finally done with the bacon and moving on to the toast, “You not so much…you kinda cramp our style,”.

“Cramp your style! At my house! Where do you live rent-free?” Buck questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I offered to pay rent!” Maddie immediately said, putting down her coffee, “You wouldn’t let me!”.

“I’m not taking your money, Mads,” Buck said sweetly to his sister, “Your boyfriend on the other hand?”.

“That’s how it is?” Dan asked, knowing that Buck was kidding.

“That’s how it is,” Buck joked back, not really meaning it, he had no need for Dan’s money and after all he got shot protecting Maddie.

“I’m sorry about these two,” Maddie said to Chimney, “They are children. How’s your food? You got enough - help yourself, Buck will make more if it’s needed,”.

“I will?” Buck asked, of course, he would but he still needed to say something.

“It’s great! Thank you for this Buck,” Chimney said turning to the other firefighter, “It’s been a rough few days,”.

“Anytime, Chim,” Buck told him, “You’re welcome here anytime,”.

“Absolutely!” Maddie agreed, smiling at Chim who smiled back, “We work from home so anytime, we’re normally around,”.

Chim nodded at Maddie, “How’s your recovery going Dan?”

“Too slow!” Dan moaned his familiar tune, “I’m telling you this, getting shot - not fun. Try and avoid it,”.

Chim laughed, “That’s good advice, I’ll try and remember that,”.

“Still could have been a lot worse if not for you, mate,” Dan added on, “You saved our asses,”.

Buck watches Chim’s head duck slightly at Dan’s words, “Chim’s a real hero! You should have seen him at work the other day saving a group of kids from a bouncy house that had taken a trip in the air,”.

“I saw that on the news!” Maddie gushed, “That you? It was amazing,”.

“It was nothing, really!” Chim said trying and failing to be modest, “It’s all part of the job,”.

“Chim’s a really amazing medic,” Buck boasted, unable not to talk up his friend a bit in front of his sister even if it was a little awkward with her boyfriend also being there. Buck did not know how it would play out but his gut was saying Chim and Maddie would still have their moment, even with Dan.

“The way he and Hen work together, it’s crazy!” Buck gushed, “They don’t even need to talk to know what the other wants,”.

“Hen is amazing,” Chim agreed. Buck had drifted off in thought thinking about his own partner who he never seemed to stop missing, he did not think he would ever get used to working without Eddie. There had been a time before when Buck had to work without Eddie when Eddie had left to go and work at dispatch. That had not been a good time in either of their lives and Buck had never stopped missing his partner. The day they got to work together again was perfect.

Buck focused back into the conversation which seemed to move to talk about Maddie and her job.

“I just don’t know what I want to do,” Maddie was saying, “I’ve been helping Dan out with his business but it’s up off the ground now and he doesn't need me as much,”.

“That’s not true, babes,” Dan interjected, “You’ve invaluable,”.

Maddie flashed Dan a sweet smile before turning back to Chim, “It’s just not what I want to do, I like to help people,”.

“You were a nurse before?” Chim asked as he finished his plate of food, “Think you mentioned that,”.

“I was, but the hours are crazy and the pay is…crazy,” Maddie explained, “I just don’t think it’s what I want to do anymore, but I do miss helping people,”.

“You could become a firefighter,” Chim suggested, joking, “We could have two firefighters, Buckley,”.

“I could not do what you do,” Maddie added quickly, “I think I’ll leave that to my baby brother, he’s the firefighter of our firefighter”.

“Thanks, Mads,” Buck added, maybe it was time for Maddie to become a dispatcher.

“There could be something you could do with nursing that’s not in a hospital?” Chim suggested, “Private care? Homecare?”.

“Oh maybe!” Maddie responded and sounded interested in Chim’s idea.

“My friend Abby works in dispatch,” Buck chimed in, “That’s also an option for you,”.

Maddie’s head snapped to look at her little brother, “What?”.

“Dispatch, you know? Answering 9-1-1 calls you could help people but without being in a hospital and I bet your medical knowledge would be helpful,” Buck expanded, happy that Maddie had just an interesting reaction to his idea. “I think it could be perfect for you,”.

“Who’s Abby?” Maddie asked, “You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone?”.

“I’m not…she’s just a friend,” Buck brushed off, “But she works in dispatch and…”.

“How did you meet her?” Maddie cut him off to ask.

“Through work,” Buck answered, “There was this call and we met and started talking but we are just friends, Maddie. Really?”.

Maddie looked at him like she did not believe him, “I just worry about you, I want you to meet someone,”.

Buck bit his tongue to keep him from saying something he should not and would spoil the future.

“Buck doesn’t date,” Chim added, and Buck wanted nothing more than the conversation to move on to literal any other topic, “He gets hit on at all times at calls but never takes them up on their offers,”.

“He definitely used to date,” Dan muttered while taking a drink out of his coffee cup to try and hide his comment that failed.

Buck kicked Dan to shut him up.

“What does that mean?” Maddie asked, staring down at her boyfriend to get an answer.

“Nothing…just Buck was a little overly….friendly when we first got to LA,” Dan said, looking guiltily at Buck for bringing this up.

“Oh Really!” Chim popped up, “Tell me more,”.

“Or we could not,” Buck suggested, standing up and beginning to clear everyone's plates. He had no idea how the conversation went this way. He quickly moved to the kitchen and tried to ignore the conversation that was going on at the table.

One thing he had enjoyed was his family not viewing him the way they had the first time. None of them met Buck 1.0 this time and Buck was actually glad of that. He felt he was taken more seriously this time by the 118. They treated him more like the adult he was this time, not like the kid he had been when he had first joined. The Buck they had met was not a scared kid but a fully grown adult. He had been a homeowner with a sister and large group of friends. Naturally, the 118 had reacted differently to him because he himself was different.

Buck liked it that way, he liked how they saw him. Looking back now he was ashamed and embarrassed at how he had behaved when he was young, Buck 1.0 as he used to call himself. That person, that version of himself, felt so far away from who he actually was now.

“I’m gonna go work out,” Buck announced once he was done loading the dishwasher, cutting off a story Dan was telling about a night out with Buck from before he had arrived in the past.

“I should get going, call an uber,” Chim added.

“Go shower,” Buck told Chimney, “The water pressure is crazy good and Dan installed these amazing shower heads that make you never want to get out. I can grab you some clothes,”.

“Think mine will fit better than yours, Buck,” Dan insisted, “I can grab you some stuff, man,”.

“I’ll drop you home on my way into work in a few hours,” Buck added, “Stay, hang out for a bit, take a shower or come work out with me,”.

“Yeah, stay for a bit,” Maddie backed Buck up, “We’re just having a chilled out day,”.

“Okay, okay,” Chim agreed, holding his hands up, “A shower does sound amazing,”.

“Come on,” Maddie instructed, “I’ll show you where everything is and grab you some clothes from Dan's,”.

Chim and Maddie got up together and Buck watched them as they made their way out of the main room, chatting as they went. He then turned back to Dan who was just sitting happily at the table.

“Wanna go spar?” Dan suggested with a glint in his eye.

Buck thought about his next shift at work with Chimney telling Boby and Hen about the stories Dan had told him.

“Sure” Buck agreed with his own smile.

==========================================

A few hours later Buck drove to work with a spring in his step. Saving Devan had felt amazing but stopping the rebar going through Chimney’s head was something else. Buck had changed his own personal history. He has stopped something bad from happening and with it kept Chimney safe.

Buck thought about all the other bad things that he could stop happening. The first one was the shooting. Eddie would not get shot this time around. Buck would be able to keep the man he loved safe. He could do that.

He would also stop Eddie’s death.

They would be nowhere near that house and the fire on the day Eddie had died. Eddie would live and Buck could make it happen. He could save Eddie’s life. Buck would save Eddie. He would not be forced to live without him.

He would make sure they were somewhere far away. Out of the state or maybe the country! Far away and safe.

Maybe they would be married by then and they could class it as a second honeymoon. That sounded like a nice idea to Buck. They could go somewhere far away, maybe the Maldives. They could be far away from the idea of Eddie’s death. On a beach with the sun shining down on them and Buck would be able to stare at the wonder that was a topless Eddie Diaz.

Buck was feeling good. On top of the world. He woke up and sprung out of bed. Happily had breakfast with his sister and Dan before driving off to work with his music blasting and the windows down.

He leapt out of his jeep at the same time Hen pulled up in her car. Chimney was not in today, his rest day after a shift swap. Buck was hoping he was using the day to break things off with Tatiana but that would have just been hopefully thinking.

“Morning Hen!” Buck greeted her happily. He was happy to be at work.

“Someone is in a good mood,” Hen commented as they walked into the firehouse together.

“Today is gonna be a good day. I can feel it,” Buck told her, it had already been a good day, having breakfast with Dan, Maddie and Chimney. Sparing with Dan. Getting to hang out for a bit before he dropped Chimney back at his place.

“Carefully, getting awfully close to jinxing us there, Buck,” Hen teased back, her tone light and happy.

“Don’t tempt me!” Buck shot back, “I might even utter the Q word, that’s how confident I feel about today!”.

“Don’t you dare!” Hen warned, pointing a finger at him “I mean it, Buckley!”.

Buck did not utter the Q word and the shift started off as normal. It was a late start in the afternoon so he and Bobby began cooking together and Buck's infectious mood passed on to the Captain. The 118 was full of good vibes and the air felt light. People were chatting and joking and Buck felt victorious. He had done something good and now a whole bad event would not happen.

There were a couple of minor callouts but nothing major and night drew in. The calls were welcome respites with the team ready to get out of the firehouse each time the bell rang. Buck was happy to be out on calls.

They had not been back long at the 118 firehouses from a call and everyone was mulling around. Small jobs being done, checking in with family and catching up with one another. Buck himself was sorting out leftovers from dinner before he moved on to sort out the trash which was his least favourite job. He could not wait for Ravi to start so he could porn off the trash duty to him.

Buck sighed as he put away the last of the food. He could not put the rubbish off any further.

“Already everybody! Gear up!” Buck heard Bobby call out from downstairs, he quickly made his way to the edge of the balcony to hear Bobby shout, “Let’s go!”.

“What’s going on, Cap?” Buck heard someone ask, “I didn’t hear the bell,”.

Buck headed down and was standing next to Hen when Bobby spoke again, “It’s Chimney! Hustle up, we need to go! Let’s go!”

This could not be happening, Buck thought as he followed Hen into the truck. Hen was silent and clearly only worried about her friend. The accident happened yesterday. Buck knew it was. He remembered that day, the fight the storm out. It was yesterday. This was not possible. It had to be something else. It had to be.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20 - You can’t Change Everything

They pulled up on the scene and Buck looked around. It was different. It was across town from where it had happened last time. This was not the same accident. Different days and different location. Chimney had still ended up in a car accident. Buck wondered if the accident was the same or different, surely it had to be different. There was no chance that Chimney had the same accident a day apart in a different part of town. Buck took a deep breath, he was right. Chimney would be fine, maybe just have a broken arm and a concussion this time instead of a rebar going through his head. Buck had still stopped that.

Buck watched as another Captain spoke to Bobby who made his way over to Chimney’s car after telling himself and Hen to stay back and wait. Buck felt Hen’s next to him. They worry about coming off her, but Buck did not know what to do or say. He just had to wait for Bobby.

“He’s alert and talking. Doesn’t seem to be in any pain,” Bobby told them as they gathered supplies, Buck still waiting to hear what had happened, “However, you need to be prepared for this. It’s Chimney and there is a piece of Rebar going through his skull, now he is asking for us and we are going to help,”.

Hen started talking then about the brain and its tissue but Buck was stuck on one detail. Rebar.

Rebar going through Chimney’s skull.

There was a piece of rebar in Chimney’s head.

It happened again. How was that possible? Buck knew he had stopped the original accident so what the hell was this?

How could it have happened twice? What were the odds that Chimney would get into the same accident Buck had just stopped?

This had to be a trick or a joke. Fate could not be this cruel.

Buck walked over to the car with Chimney inside with Hen and Bobby on either side. He heard Bobby speak, the same as last time, about being cool and not freaking Chimney out who did not know about the skull. The car looked like a mess. Just like the first time. Bonnet smashed up. The windscreen shattered with glass everywhere. Right in the middle of it sat Chimney. Buck looked at his friend, it was a near-perfect copy of his memory.

Chimney sat in the driver's seat. In shock. Rebar in the middle of his forehead and a long drop of blood down his right cheek. Just like the first time. Just like Buck remembered.

Buck watched as Hen examined Chim, asking about his pain level. Buck tried to remember what he did the first time, but his mind was blank as he just stared at Chimney. He was supposed to have stopped this. He should have stopped his friend from getting hurt. He failed.

Buck yelled with Hen and Bobby as Chimney tried to move his neck.

“What’s going on?” Chimney asked, “Why don’t you guys cut me out of here? What’s going on?”.

“You’ve been injured, Chim,” Bobby told him and this time Buck could see how scared Bobby was and how the man was barely holding it together. The first Bobby had seemed so strong and together to Buck.

“What? How bad is it?” Chim asked and Buck could see the edges of worry creep in.

“It’s okay, Chimney,” Buck told him, his brain was cloudy and his voice sounded weird to his own ears as he spoke, “We’ve got you. You are going to be okay”.

Even as Buck said it, he wasn’t sure. If he had let the accident happen yesterday he would have known Chimney survived because he did the first time. Now, this time. It was a different accident. A different road, A different truck and a different piece of rebar. What if it had gone deeper? Or at a different angle? It was a miracle the first time that Chim had walked away with no lasting side effects but maybe this time he would not be so lucky.

Bobby showed Chimney the damage and Buck just watched and felt like this was all his fault. He did not mean for this to happen. He never thought that this was possible. He thought he saved him and stopped this from happening, but he had been wrong. What else had he been wrong about?

They worked together for the next hour to get Chimney out of the car and to the hospital. It all played out just like the first time with no changes. Buck did not know if that was a good thing or not. Just like the first time, Buck tried to go through the doors with Chimney and when the doctor asked if they were family Buck wanted to yell how that man was his brother. Only he was not, in this timeline Chimney had only known Buck a few months not years like Buck had known Chimney.

“Buck, our job ends here at these doors like always,” Bobby told him and for the first time, Buck hated this colder distant version of Bobby. The Bobby he knew would never say something like that. He viewed Chimney as family and he would have told the Doctor as such. Buck wanted his Bobby right now. The man who was like a father to him, not this man who was fighting every urge in his body to keep them at arm's length.

They should be headed out to camp out of the waiting room and not heading back to the 118. They should be staying at the hospital and waiting for the rest of the family to come and join them. This was not what should be happening. This was not right.

Buck tried not to miss his family. The ones he had lost when he woke up in the past. He tried to not see it as losing them but rather just taking the long way round to see them again. Because he would see them again. Right now though, Buck missed them and wanted them. He wanted Bobby to lead them to the waiting room where they would huddle together and wait for news, one by one the rest of the family. He wanted his big sister who would be out of her mind with worry for her husband but keeping it together for the sake of their kids. He wanted to see Athena looking around her family and making sure they were all being looked after. He wanted Albert to be there and share their worry about their brother being in trouble.

Most of all Buck just wanted Eddie to be there to hold his hand.

===========================================

They went back to the firehouse and the mood was the total opposite of earlier in the day. No one spoke. Bobby went right to his office. Hen went off on her own, most likely to call Karen, Buck assumed. Everyone went out. Buck stayed by the truck. He did not know what to do with himself. He felt like she should be doing something. Only what. He had a chance to do something and he failed. He failed to save Chim. What did this mean?

Was it Chim’s destiny to get into this accident?

If so, why had Buck woken up over ten years in the past if not to change things and help his loved ones? What was the point of having all of that future knowledge if it was not to help his family and keep them safe?

Buck felt despondent. He thought he had found his purpose when he had saved Devan. He had been sent back to save the people he failed the first time. Now he was questioning that due to not being able to stop Chimney’s accident.

Well had stopped it but it had happened anyway.

The rest of the shift passed slowly and silently with everyone waiting to hear news on Chimney.

Buck got home and instantly knew he would not sleep. He told Dan and Maddie about Chimney and Buck did not know what he had expected his sister to do. It was not like she knew that Chimney would end up being the love of her life and father to her children. She just knew him as Buck’s friend and the guy who saved her at Christmas from Doug. Maddie and Dan had both told Buck how sorry they were and tried to look after him. Dan had suggested calling Jesse, who was a Doctor at the hospital to see if she could tell him anything.

Buck had not thought about that and gave her a call. Jesse told him that information would be given to the family but she would keep an ear out for any news and let Buck know if she heard anything. Buck was grateful for the news and it made him feel better to know someone was at the hospital waiting for news.

Buck was sitting reading a book on time travel the next day, with Hen sitting across doing a crossword. Like yesterday the atmosphere was quiet and clearly, everyone was thinking about Chimney and how the sugary was going. It has been nearly sixteen-hour now. Buck knew this was the last time that had got the news and was waiting for Bobby to come out of the office with news from the hospital and Chim’s surgery.

Buck hoped it would go the same as last time and Chimney would have a smooth recovery.

BEEP

Buck felt his phone go off and saw a text from Jesse.

He’s out of Surgery. Went well. He’s in a medically induced coma, but he’s alive and his vitals are good. Just a waiting game. I’ll speak to the nurse and see if I can get you in to see him.

Buck felt relief. It seemed like the same as last time and Chimney would wake up and make a full recovery. Buck was about to share the news when Bobby came out and explained what Buck had just found out over text.

They did not have time to dwell on the news that they were waiting for to see if Chimney woke up which Buck knew that he would if it went the same way as last time. The bell went and they were off on call outs. It did Buck good to get out and have his brain focus on something else.

The next call was able to keep Buck occupied and his mind on something other than Chimney being in the hospital. Everyone was quiet and straight to the point. Buck remembered he clashed with Hen the first time around and this time kept out of her way.

Buck wanted to talk to her and find comfort in worrying about their friend together. Buck adored Hen and she had been a constant in his life for years. They had formed a strong friendship over the first couple of years they worked together and that had never really changed. Buck knew he was closer to other people in their family and if something was wrong they were not each other's go-to person, however they were always there for each other. When things got bad or one of them was struggling the other would show up. It felt weird not to be there for Hen now because to her he was still the newest member of the team. Just a guy she had been working with for a couple of months.

Buck hates this wrong thing. Chimney being hurt and alone in the hospital was awful but so was the situation outside the hospital. Buck’s family was giving each other space rather than pulling together like he was used to them doing.

His phone rang on the call and Buck saw it was Abby. He clicked ignore and sent her to voicemail. He tried to remember why she had called but he just could not focus on Abby right now. She was not important. He would contact her in a few days when Chimney was out of the woods and check in on her but right now his priority was Chimney and his family.

======================================================

Their shift ended and Buck did not know what to do with himself. Hen had headed home to the comfort of her family and while Buck could do the same he did not feel like going back to the 117. Dan and Maddie would be there but it felt wrong being around Maddie and her boyfriend with Chimney in critical condition. Buck knew it was not her fault as she had no idea who Chimney was to her.

He knew that Bobby would be going to Chimney’s place and he decided to tag along with his captain. His relationship with Bobby was different. Buck knew that, but he still got comfort from being around him. Bobby was the closest family to Buck, a man who was a father to Buck. Bobby had supported Buck through everything, he was always there with words of advice and endless words of support.

They drove separately to Chimney’s place and Tatiana let them in. Buck had never met her the first time around. She looked normal, perfectly nice and normal. She looked young, Buck kept thinking that since he arrived in the past, everybody looked young to him.

Logically Buck knew that Chimney had loved her or at least thought he did enough to propose to her, but he never actually thought about that. Chimney loved Maddie, he was meant to be with Maddie, they had got married and to Buck, they had been married for years. The idea of Chimney with someone else was just as strange as it was seeing Maddie with Dan. Buck had faith they would end up together.

“Hey Taiana,” Bobby greeted as they walked into Chimney’s place, where Taiana was sorting through food, “I’m Bobby, we spoke on the phone. This is Buck,”

Buck waved his hand and gave her a small smile,

“Oh, yes, hi,” Tatiana greeted as she walked into the kitchen. She chucked, “Now I know why Chimney always calls you Gary Cooper,”.

“I see you’ve had some visitors,” Bobby said, looking around at all the food that had been dropped off. Buck suddenly was hit with the guilt that he had not brought anything but then remembered what was about to happen. Tatiana really had no need for another casserole.

“Yeah, yesterday and then all day as well,” Taitanna mentioned, “Is that normal or is Chimney just really popular?”.

Both, Buck thought. It was normal. His fridge and freezer had been filled for a month after his leg got crushed.

“Firefighters are a brotherhood, cops are the same way,” Bobby answered but Buck also thought how Chimney was popular and well-liked and that helped, “One of us goes down and we make sure the family is looked after,”.

Now that was true, Buck nodded in agreement.

“And I’m the family?” Tatianna asked and Buck wanted to scream that she wasn’t. That Chimney was his family, his brother. Maddie’s husband. Albert’s brother. The Lees's surrogate son. A core member of the 118 families.

“I was hoping to convince you to come to the hospital to visit,” Bobby answered, “They are waking him up tonight, and it would be good if you were there,”.

Tatianna sighed, “He asked me to marry him,”.

“I know,” Bobby nodded.

“It’s not right, you know. Either I say yes or I'm some kinda bitch,” Tatianna replied, turning away from Bobby to carry on moving some things around.

“No one is saying you have to say yes, you just have to come and hold our hand, it’s about love it’s about decency,” Bobby told her, Buck had not been here for this the first time around but he had a feeling he knew how this was going to go.

“That’s my point, Captain Nash, Anything that I do that isn't being Florence Nightingale, makes me look like some kinda monster, so what do you want me to hold his hand when he wakes up! And then what? Then stay with him till he’s out of the hospital! Then you can’t break up with him while he’s in recovery! While he can’t walk or talk! And who is to say he’ll ever recover and you want me to act like I'm in love with him? For how long? A month? A Year?” Tatiana asked him and Buck thought back to Ally. He had not thought about her in years, how she had held his hand and waited for him to get out of the hospital before breaking up with him, was what Tatiana was actually kinder than Ally.

“I’m not a bad person, I'm just not in love with him”

“My friend is coming out of a medically induced coma,” Bobby told her, “I don't know if he'll ever fully wake up. And if he does, I don't know if he's gonna be able to talk or see or hear or even remember who I am. I am not asking you to love him or marry him, and I'm not judging you for your feelings. I'm not. I'm just saying he loves you. Misguided as he may be. And the only two things I can think of to help him are to pray and to hope that if you're with him, he'll feel that love for you and it will give him a reason to fight his way back to us,”.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Tatiana told him.

“Cap, we should go…get to the hospital,” Buck said to Bobby. There was nothing else that they could do here, nothing else that Bobby could say.

Bobby nodded and walked out, Buck went to follow but turned around.

“I think what you are doing is right…if you don’t love him…you shouldn't come to the hospital, give him false hope,” Buck told her, “It’s okay. We’ll look after him, like Cap said we look after our own. I know you didn’t sign up for any of this and it’s hard. What we do is hard but I think sometimes it is harder to be the person sitting next to the hospital bed rather than being in it,”.

Tatiana nodded, “I liked him, I want him to be okay,”.

“He will be,” Buck promised, before turning to walk after Bobby, he turned back and said to Tatiana “We’ll look after him,”.

Buck quickly made his way to catch up with Bobby, “Cap, you okay?”.

Bobby was standing outside Chimney’s building and Buck could see he was struggling. He walked up and leaned against the wall that Bobby was standing next to and waited for the older man to talk.

“I really wanted to do something to help…I thought if he could get her to the hospital then…maybe that would be enough,” Bobby answered and Buck was taken aback by how small Bobby looked.

“I think what Chimney needs now is people who care about him around him, people who will stay and help him,” Buck replied, “Tatiana isn’t that person. We are his team,”.

“I let him down,” Bobby sighed, “Another person who needed me and I let him down,”.

Buck knew Bobby was thinking about his family, “You haven’t let Chimney down. We will go to the hospital and we’ll be the ones he wakes up to. His team. His friends”. His family, Buck added to himself.

“He should wake up to family,” Bobby sighed.

“He’ll wake up to us!” Buck snapped, he was fed up with his family not knowing they were his family, that they were the most important people in his life, “Trust me having a woman who is just planning to leave won't do him any good. He needs people who will stay and that’s us. Like you said their relationship wasn’t real. Chimney deserves the real thing,”.

“Are you speaking from experience their kid?” Bobby asked and Buck was taken aback by Bobby asking him a personal question.

“There was a girl I was seeing, it was new and she was good, nice, and I ended up in the hospital and she stayed, sat and held my hand,” Buck told Bobby, knowing opening up here would help. He could give a little bit of future knowledge if it meant helping Bobby. Plus it was not like he was planning on getting crushed under the truck this time around, “She stayed and then she left. I think it would have been better if she had left right away. I didn’t need her to stay out of…pity or obligation and Chimney will feel the same,”.

“How come you were in the hospital?” Bobby asked and Buck saw genuine concern there. Even with the shift in their relationship Bobby would always worry about him.

Images passed through Buck’s mind, being in the truck, the bomb, smoke, pain, Bobby’s voice, Eddie’s hand, more pain.

“I was hurt. My leg was trapped,” Buck told him wondering if this would impact the future in any way, “The pain was…like nothing else, but I had good people around me, aside from girlfriend, friend…family…people who stayed. They got me through this and we’ll do the same for Chimney,”.

===================================================

Buck checked his phone for the third time, he had been waiting outside the hospital for Jesse for the last five minutes. She had called him to say she could get him to see Chimney as well as his team. He had texted Bobby and Hen but told them half an hour later, that he wanted to see his friend first for himself. Buck could not remember how they had been allowed to be with Chimney when he woke up, none of them was his next of kin.

Buck had changed his Next of Kin to Maddie two weeks into waking up in the past. Despite all his future knowledge, he did not think he would be able to live the next ten years without a trip or two to the hospital. Once he had joined the 118 he had added Bobby on so that someone from the 118 would be there as well. There had been a second when the form was in his hand that he had almost written Edmundo but quickly got rid of that notion, that was not how he and Eddie would meet.

“Buck!”

Buck’s head snapped up and he saw Jesse rushing towards him, the white doctor’s coat standing out. She smiled brightly at him, her eyes warm and friendly.

“I’ve checked in on your friend, his vitals are still strong, he’s doing well,” Jesse answered Buck’s unasked question, “Just need to wait for him to wake up which hopefully will be in the next couple of hours,”.

“Thank you, Jesse,” Buck told her, truly meaning it. Buck was grateful to Marco’s daughter for doing this for him. She was a good person.

“He shouldn’t be alone when he wakes up,” Jesse told him, “Where is your team?”

“On their way,” Buck answered, “Can I see him?”.

Jesse nodded, “Follow me,”.

Jesse led him into the hospital and into the lift. They chatted some more about Chim before moving on to talk about Marco and the bar, both speculating that Will was dating someone and keeping it under wraps.

“Olly says he’s out more than ever! When he asked him Will said he’s at the library studying but Olly swears he’s wearing different clothes,” Jesse told him.

“Olly needs to get out more if he’s memorising Will’s outfit’s” Buck shot back.

“Leave him alone, he’s lost his best friend now that Dan is all shacked up with your sister, plus you’ve moved out and now Will’s out all the time,” Jesse defended.

“See, I heard that you were keeping him company with texts and late-night drinks after closing at Patty’s,” Buck teased, as they made it out of the elevator.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Buckley,” Jesse told him as they walked to Chimney’s room, “Your friend is in the next room. I have some patients to check in on but I’ll come and check in if I can?”.

Buck nodded and Jesse walked off, he took a breath before heading in. Just like before there was Chimney in a hospital bed. Buck walked into the room but did not go too far, just standing near the end of the bed, looking at his friend. He was meant to have stopped this. His head was fully wrapped up and he had wires sticking out of him in all directions. He was here and alive though.

Buck took a deep breath and moved in closer.

“Hey, Chim,” Buck greeted, as he sat down and placed his hand over Chimney’s. He tried to keep his tone light and happy like he would get a response.

This was all his fault. He could have stopped this, he should have.

Buck took another breath, he was not going to lose it.

“I’m so sorry, Chim,” Buck told him, “I tried…I really did…I tried to save you…to change things. I should have done more…This is my fault. I failed. I need you to know I wanted to stop this, save you all this pain. It’s the universe, man. I don’t know why I'm back here if I'm not meant to stop the people I love from getting hurt. I don’t know what the point of me is if it’s not to save the people I love. You, May, Maddie…I really thought I could stop the car accident and the rebar.

I did stop it, but the universe had other plans, I don’t understand it…I don’t know what the point is, what the plan is…what I am meant to do? What should I do, Chim?”

Buck could feel the tears running down his face as he looked at his friend who was still lying there with his eyes closed.

“You were always really good at telling me what to do. Plus all those movies you watched, bet you would know what to do if you woke up in the past. You wouldn’t fail like I am. You’d have saved Maddie from Doug. I wish I could talk to you about this time travel thing…it’s really confusing man…like tenses are so messed up now. I get so confused thinking about my past which is actually the future…like I said confusing…

How about a deal? You wake up and I'll tell you about the kids you’ll have with Maddie…that’s right my sister Maddie. You two end up together, totally meant to be. Love of each other’s lives. I know it’s not ideal with her being with Dan but that’s not gonna last, besides the love of my life is in Texas and has a wife so you are doing better than me….His name’s Eddie. You’ll meet him soon.

Really Chim? Nothing to say about any of that…”.

Buck laughed at his own bad joke and he whipped his tears away. It felt good to talk openly and let it all out. Would have been better with an awake Chimney.

Buck heard the door open behind him and turned to see Bobby and Hen walk in. Buck nodded at them as Bobby walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down taking Chimney’s hand in his. Buck stood up and offered his seat to Hen who shook her head.

“Hold his hand, talk to him,” Buck whispered to her softly, “He’ll know it’s you,”.

Hen nodded and took Buck’s place.

“Hey, Chim. We're all here for you,” Buck heard Bobby say, “We’re here for you when you wake up,”.

“That’s right,” Hen added, “Buck got here first but you don’t listen to a word he says okay,”.

“I was just telling him when he gets back to work he can do the manoeuvre all he wants,” Buck lied, but it made Hen smile so he called it a win.

“Buck, don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Hen warned.

“He nailed it on the call last week,” Buck pointed at the one thing he had actually been able to change.

“We can’t let it get to his head,” Hen teased, “ Chim. I, um... I tried to get ahold of your parents. There's a 16-hour time difference with Seoul, you know, so maybe... maybe that has something to do with it,”.

“It’s okay, his family is right here,” Bobby told Hen, but he looked at Buck as he said it.

Then the three watched as Chimney moved his head.

Buck let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he had not saved Chimney but at least it looked like he would be okay.

======================

Buck could not find the keys to the jeep. He had got in last night and had no idea why he had not left them in their usual place on the table in the downstairs garage. It’s where he always left his keys in the same place, except for today when he apparently decided to break the routine. He checked his jeans and hoodie pockets that he had been wearing yesterday and had no luck. He felt himself getting stressed out as he frantically searched the 117.

He had to leave soon or else he would be late for work. The plan had been to stop by Chimney’s place and pick up some stuff for him, clean clothes, his tablet, things Chimney had requested and then drop them off at the hospital and sit with Chimney for a bit before he went off to work. However, he needed his keys. Chimney’s place was near work but nowhere near the hospital, he needed to leave now if he were to have time.

Buck let out a growl of frustration.

“Evan,” Maddie’s voice broke Buck out of his stressful search for the jeep keys on the living room couch, “What’s wrong?”.

“I can’t find my keys,” Buck growled, throwing up his hands in frustration, “I’ve got a shift starting soon and said I’d bring some stuff to Chim before work, so I need to stop by his place but I can’t find my keys so I’m gonna have to rush to Chim’s place - grab the stuff and then hope traffic isn’t bad so I can get across town to the hospital where I won’t have time to even sit and talk to Chimney because I’ll need to rush across town to get to work!.”.

“Stop!” Maddie ordered, “Take a breath, Evan,”.

Buck took a deep breath as his sister instructed.

“Now listen to me,” Maddie said in a very level headed voice, “I can drive you to Chimney’s and we can get the stuff he needs. Then I will drop you off at work before I go to the hospital. I've been wanting to visit him myself after everything he’s done for us. That work?”.

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, feeling a lot less stressed out now, “Thanks,”.

“That’s okay,” Maddie told him, “Then either Dan or I will pick you up when you finish tomorrow,”.

“Okay,” Buck agreed, “If not, Hen or Bobby will drop me off. It’s not far out of Hen’s way,”.

“See, it’s gonna be fine,” Maddie said, “We’ll look for your keys as well,”.

Buck felt better at his sister's words and the two Buckley’s got into Maddie’s car and Buck directed her on how to get to Chimney’s place.

“How’s the recovery going?” Maddie asked Buck as he made a left turn onto the main road.

“Really good. Doctors are amazed by him,” Buck answered, “It’s the next left turn. They keep saying the words miracle,”.

“It sounds like it from what you’ve told me,” Maddie replied, making the left turn Buck had instructed.

Buck nodded, “It was…horrible, Mads. Seeing Chim like that. He’s such a good guy,”.

Maddie nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it seems so unfair, he saved me. Saved your life,”.

“He doesn’t deserve it, next right after the lights,” Buck instructed, “I wanted to save him,”.

“You can’t save everyone, Evan,” Maddie told him.

“Chimney lives on this road here,” Buck told his sister, “Park up by the blue building and we will just run up and grab what he needs,”.

Maddie parked her car and two of the Buckleys got out and chatted as they walked up to Chimney’s building together. They entered and took the stairs up to Chimney’s floor and Buck used the key, that Chimney had given him to let them in.

“I’m just gonna get the stuff he asked for,” Buck told Maddie, “Can you see if you can find his tablet and charger,”.

Maddie nodded and began looking around. Buck walked into the bedroom and grabbed Chim’s gym bag and began to fill it with a change of clothes and some toiletries.

“This is a nice place,” Buck heard Maddie yell, “It’s so spacious!”.

Buck quickly looked around for Chim’s tablet in the bedroom but could not see it but did see his charger by the bed so he grabbed that for his friend.

“Got the tablet!” Buck heard Maddie yell.

“Got the charger!” Buck yelled back as he looked around quickly to see if there was anything else he should grab.

“Who the hell are you?” A voice that was not his sister yelled.

Buck grabbed the back and quickly walked out of the bedroom where he saw Maddie standing opposite Tatianna. Well, this was unexpected.

“Hi Tatianna,” Buck said, “Do you remember me? I’m Buck. I work with Chimney, I’m just here to get some stuff for him,”.

“Oh yeah,” Tatianna said but she seemed awkward and out of place, “I’m here to get my stuff,”.

“Right,” Buck said and the three stood awkwardly. Buck could not believe she had not even asked how Chimney was going. Chimney really had the worst taste in women before Maddie.

“This is the girlfriend?” Maddie whispered softly to Buck who nodded slightly.

“He woke up,” Maddie said to Tatiana, speaking much louder and clearer. There was an edge to her voice, “He’s doing well. The doctors are really happy with his progress. He’s gonna make a full recovery,”.

“Oh..that’s great,” Tatianna responded, clearly not expecting Maddie to speak out like that, “He’s gonna okay, that’s good. I’m glad,”.

“Yep, he’s gonna be just fine,” Maddie said cooly, “We’re going to visit him now and drop this stuff off,”.

Buck was loving watching this exchange. It was wild. Seeing Maddie interact with Tatianna like this and how cold Maddie was being towards her. Buck wanted to cheer for his sister.

“We should go Mads,” Buck said to his sister who was almost just glaring at Tatianna.

Maddie nodded, “We don’t want to keep Chim waiting,”

Buck nodded at Tatianna as they walked out of Chim’s apartment with the gym back over his shoulder and his tablet in Maddie's hand.

Once they reached the stairs Buck turned to his sister, “What was that?”.

“Chimney deserves more than her. He should have someone who shows up for him,” Maddie explained as they walked down the stairs and walked outside into the fresh air, “He deserves more than someone who can’t be bothered to even visit him to break up with him properly. She’s the worst,”.

Buck held his tongue but smiled to himself at how defensive Maddie was of Chim. Maybe like the rebar some things were meant to be and would happen regardless of what Buck did or did not do.

Buck had hope that Maddie and Chimney would find their way this time around.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21 - Worst Day Ever

Buck was spiralling. Waking up thirteen years in the past had been stressful, when he had first woken up in his younger body in a bedroom he had basically forgotten he had ever lived in. However he had adapted as best he could, accepted what he could and did his best not to go full-on crazy. In the months following things had gotten better. Life had got better, he made friends, got his life sorted out, got Maddie back and rejoined the 118.

Life had got better, Buck had almost gotten used to the situation. It had become almost normal to him. He had thought he had found the purpose, the reason, that he had woken up in his past. That meaning is to save people, to stop the bad things from happening, to help. Buck began to believe he had been sent back with the mission of saving lives and stopping the ones he loved from going through all the pain and suffering.

He was wrong. So wrong. He had tried to stop the bad stuff from happening to his loved ones and he had failed.

First, he had failed to save Maddie from Doug. Doug had still found her, just like the first time, and because of Buck’s choices, someone who was fine the first time got hurt this time around. Dan getting shot was all on Buck, that was on him. However, the small silver lining was that Doug never got to kidnap Maddie this time, at least Buck had stopped that. The pain was still there and Buck could see it, Maddie was still struggling. The first time Doug was dead, gone forever. Now he was in a coma, able to wake up at any time and come after her again.

Secondly, there was Chimney. This was the event that began Buck’s spiral because he had done it. He had stopped the original accident from happening. He had stopped Chim from being on the road on that day at that time. It did not matter though. The universe was cruel and unyielding. Chim had still got hurt. Basically, the exact same accident had happened the next night and Buck could not figure out why? What was the point? How could that have happened? He had stopped it.

Now there was Bobby. Bobby had relapsed…again. Buck had been so caught up with his own failure, he had forgotten about his Captain. It was not that Buck forgot Bobby was an alcoholic, it had just been so many years since it had been relevant. Buck had got used to Bobby being okay, with a full support system around him. Buck had forgotten.

Then the plane crash came. Buck had messed up his dates and thought it was the week after, he had been taken by surprise once more. He had been unprepared. Like last time, they had gone to the plane and began to evacuate. There had been bodies in the water which had instantly drawn Buck back to one of the worst days of his life, a trip to the pier and a wave no one saw coming. Buck had done his best to push it down while they were on the scene, it did not help that there was a kid there that Buck had to take from his mother. Kids in water were not Buck’s thing.

Luckily Buck had remembered the couple trapped in the bathroom and they had got to them sooner and been able to get them out quicker, saving them some time. Buck had got right to Bobby and the women and like last time it had been close by they had got her.

The aftermath was just as awful as the first time around. This was one of those long shifts that just seemed to go on and on forever. Time feels unreal and all blurring together. Buck did his best to help out as much as he could, at least this time he had experience with this type of thing. He tried to keep an eye on Bobby, but in the chaos, he lost track of him and hoped maybe Hen had track of him.

Like last time Abby called to try and find Dale Marks, this was something Buck had no way of changing but checked nonetheless just in case there was a different outcome this time around. It was the same news he had to break to Abby.

“Hen!” Buck called across the tarmac, she had just finished checking someone over and was free for a second.

Hen looked up as Buck ran over and handed her a bottle of water.

“Thanks, Buck,” Hen said as she took the water, she could not remember the last time she had drank anything, hours ago for sure, before the crash, “You doing okay? First call with this much tragedy, I know it can be hard to see,”.

It was not his first. It was not even the worst, at least there were survivors. This was something he had been doing for over a decade now. Still, he felt a wave of love toward Hen for checking up on him. She really was the best.

Buck nodded in agreement to what she had said “It’s a lot…don’t think it’s something you ever fully get used to,”.

Hen nodded back, finishing off the bottle of water, “You’re right,” Hen looked around at the aftermath around them, “It’s not,”.

“Where’s Bobby?” Buck asked, hoping the man was still here and he could do something to try and help him before his night took a turn.

“There brought him in with the mother, she got reunited with her son,” Hen told him, a flash of the image and Chris in Eddie’s arm after the Tsunami went through his brain, “Bobby left I think…We can too…shift is over…they have another team on recovery and clean up,”.

Buck nodded, he needed to check on Bobby, “Come on, we can split a ride,”.

“You can stay at mine if you want?” Hen offered, and Buck was taken aback by this, he was sure this was not something she had offered the first time. He wondered what he had done to cause this change.

“Thanks…” Buck nodded, “I think I’m gonna check on Bobby, go home, shower and call it a night,”.

“Buck…” Hen said in a warning tone, “You should give him space. Cap isn’t…he likes to keep his personal life just that personal…private…Be careful,”.

“I know, just…I’m worried,” Buck told her, “After Chim…he’s been quiet. I’d rather go and check on him and have him not need me and yell at me for overstepping than not go and he actually needs me,”.

Hen looked at him like a piece of the puzzle had fallen into place with him, as she had just learned some informant information which filled her into who Evan Buckley was, “You look so young, Buck. You’re not though…you are an old soul…you surprise me you know,”.

Buck laughed at that, “You expected me to be some reckless kid who had boundary issues and messed everything up,”.

“Something like that,” Hen mused, “Listen, I’ll come with you to check on Bobby, but tomorrow before our shift. I need to shower, eat and cuddle with my wife first,”.

“Let’s get you home then,” Buck agreed with a nod, knowing as soon as he dropped her off he would grab the jeep and head to check on Bobby. No way could he leave him alone.

Changed into clean clothes, Buck made the drive over to Bobby’s place. He only felt slightly bad about pickpocketing Hen’s key so he could get inside. He knew that if he could tell her everything, the whole situation, she would understand and forgive him. He thought about it sometimes, telling Hen. Hen was logical but also a great judge of character. Buck thought about how she might react if he told her and a voice inside him said that she would believe him.

There was a pit in his stomach the whole drive over to Bobby’s, nervousness and anticipation. He got this every time he was off-script. Buck was scared, he knew how much pain Bobby was in, he may never have lost a child but he had come close and as for losing a significant other…well Buck was familiar with that pain.

It was something Buck felt and lived with every day. He tried not to. Tried to ignore the grief he felt, after all in the world he was living in Eddie was not dead. He had that all still to come, a fresh start. Eddie was not dead. He would see Eddie again. However, there were times when Buck thought about the life he had left behind. He thought of the future where he had watched Eddie die and buried him in the ground.

Buck imagined what his life would have been like had he not woken up in the past if he had kept living that life with Eddie dead. Would he have stayed in Eddie’s house, living like a ghost in the space they had shared for a short couple of years? Christopher would have been his reason to live, his hope, his joy. Watching Eddie’s son would have been a relief from the pain. Looking at Chris always made him feel full of love and pride. Holidays would have been tough, the two of them together both missing Eddie. Buck knew he would have spent the rest of his life looking to his side for Eddie, expecting him to be there.

Waking up in the past had spared him that. Spared him from having to grieve and find some way to carry on with Eddie, to find some form of acceptance for his death. His stupid ordinary death. Buck was glad he had only lived for a short time in a world without Eddie. That had been a blessing, a kindness.

Buck pulled up outside Bobby’s apartment building. It was late, there was a stillness in the air, and no one was around. Buck took a breath before he got out and headed into the building, taking the stairs to build off some of his nervous energy before arriving at Bobby’s door. Using the key, Buck opened the door.

Looking around, Buck had forgotten how sad this place was. It was cold and empty and just a terrible place to live. It was the opposite of the home Bobby would go on to share with Athena. He had forgotten how much Bobby was truly punishing himself at this time. Buck suddenly was overwhelmed with guilt, he should have done more to help Bobby, he had been so distracted with Maddie’s early arrival, stopping Chim’s accident and the general stress that came from living in the past he had forgotten about the pain Bobby was in. Which was unacceptable, Buck owed the older man everything, he was so important to Buck and had done so much for him. Cared for him, loved him, accepted him, and taught him how to be a truly good man. Buck had repaid him like this, by not being there when he was alone and in so much pain.

He needed to do better. Better by Bobby.

Right now he needs to focus. Find him. Buck walked further into the cold and sparse apartment and found who he was looking for.

Bobby was slouched against the wall, on his way to being passed out. Bottle of Jack Daniels in hand that barely had anything left.

“Oh Bobby,” Buck whispered to himself before making his way over to his father figure. Crouching down in front of him Buck’s hand went to the side of his face. Buck did not get to look at Bobby like this, he looked both younger than ever but also there was such a heaviness to him that Buck knew was not there in the future. The love of Athena and her kids and being part of a family again, of having people around him had healed some of the pain and the weight that Bobby had carried around with him.

Bobby stirred slightly, moaning. His eyes remained closed.

“It’s okay, Bobby,” Buck muttered, as he removed the bottle from his hand, “I’m here, I got you. Everything is going to be okay,”.

Buck lifted Bobby up and carried him into the bedroom. He worked quickly taking off Bobby’s shoes and overshirt, trying to get him as comfortable as possible in the bed. He used pillows to keep him upright as he worked. Going to the kitchen, Buck grabbed three bottles of water and brought them back to the bedroom. He placed two on the single bedside table and then brought the third to Bobby’s mouth.

“It’s okay, Bobby,” Buck told him with softness, “I need you to drink this for me, come on…please…,”.

Buck kept trying to wake the man enough to get at least some of this water down him. Bobby’s eye’s opened slightly, which was a very good sign. Buck was no paramedic but knew enough that he was hoping to avoid having to call 9-1-1 tonight, the last thing he needed was Abby answering. Buck brought the water to Bobby’s slips and the man took a couple of sips before coughing. Buck got some more water into him.

“ ‘uck…” Bobby mumbled, still really out of it, relying on pillows and Buck to keep him upright.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Buck told him softly, he did not think Bobby would remember any of this tomorrow, “I came to check on you…I was worried…couldn’t leave you on your own…you never left me…so here I am Cap. Can you drink some more for me?”.

Bobby barely understood what was going on but luckily seemed to know what to do when the bottle was right in front of him.

Buck kept giving him small sips of water, taking his time and muttering words of what he hoped were a comfort as he did it. After a little while, the bottle was empty which was good because his captain was basically passed out.

“Okay, time to sleep this off,” Buck explained, not actually expecting Bobby to understand and respond to what he was saying but talking helped keep him focused on the task of getting Bobby lay down in the recovery position, “Now, let’s get you comfortable. I don’t want you to worry…I’m going to get a chair and stay right here, I’ll look after you, Pops…Make sure you are okay, nothing is going to happen to you, everything is going to be okay. I promise. You just sleep it off and I’ll be right here. I’m not leaving, I’m here if you need me, Bobby. I’m right here,”.

Bobby was definitely passed out now. Buck felt exhausted but there was no time for that, he had to be here, Bobby needed him. He needed to look after Bobby. That was his job now. Stay and watch over Bobby. Look after Bobby, like all the times that Bobby had watched over him.

Buck watched him, standing by the side of the bed, just looking at Bobby. He looked so young, so broken, so alone. Bobby should never be alone. Buck’s guilt came back, he knew deep down, Bobby did not know him and he was not ready to let people back in after the loss of his family. That was changing now, slowly, he would open up a little bit tomorrow with Hen and himself and then over the coming weeks he would find Athena and open up to her. Soon things would change and Buck would have a more recognizable version of the man he knew and loved.

Looking away, Buck walked back into the living room and grabbed one of the dining room chairs and moved into the bedroom and placed it side by side of the bed, where he could sit and watch Bobby and make sure he was okay for the remainder of the night. Taking off his jacket first and then his shoes, Buck stretches out a kink in his back before sitting down and putting his sock-covered feet on the bed. Setting in for a long night of keeping watch.

Buck wished he could cure his friend's pain. He knew that Bobby would be okay, that he would never fully recover but he would find a way to move on and find happiness again. Buck knew that, he had watched it, he had been a part of that happiness. Bobby did not know that, right now Bobby was in pain and alone and that broke Buck’s heart. Buck knew Bobby was merely existing right now, making amends with his list of names in the Buck, trying to atone for his past.

“I know, you won’t remember this in the morning,” Buck said out loud, his voice nervous and quiet as he spoke, “You’re not alone, I know you don’t know me, but I know you. I know you and I know what your future looks like. This may sound impossible right now, but Bobby, you are so happy in the future. You have an amazing family, the best wife, you've already met her actually Athena Grant and you have step-kids who adore you. You’re a grandpa to May’s little girl and you spoil her. Plus you are Michael and have the weirdest friendship. You become part of their family. You never forgot about what you’ve lost and I know you work hard to remember them, you make them proud, Bobby.

There’s the 118 as well. You once told me we weren't a family, but boy was you wrong. The team becomes such a family and that’s all down to you. The 118 is like a family, the best family. I was so lost before finding my place with the team and I think you were the same. My father…was never a Dad to me, he was just there but not and there was a whole thing behind that…but my point is you were my Dad, when I needed a Dad you showed up, you did what a father does for their child for me. You filled that space in my life, Bobby. You were my Dad when it counted.

I’m not replacing what you’ve lost…I couldn’t but I think I was the same for you. A kid when you needed someone to look after, someone to teach and guide and help. I needed a lot of help. I worried you and I scared you and I know how much I stressed you out and frustrated you, but…I also made you proud. The man I am today, the man you helped me become, so much of who I am is down to you.

You helped me so much, Bobby. We won’t even get into how you are the reason I met the love of my life. I’m here for you like you were always here for me. I love you, Bobby,”.

Buck took a deep breath and whipped the tears from his eyes. Bobby would never remember what he said, but he hoped that somewhere deep down he had heard and maybe his words would help make a difference somewhere down the line. Bobby was important, he was such a central part of his life. Buck adored him and they had only got closer as the years went on. After Bobby retired they had regular days out together and never lost touch. After Eddie Bobby was the person Buck wanted to talk anything through. Their bond only grew as they got older.

Buck grew more secure in his relationship with Bobby. Therapy helped him deal with his issues with his parents and they managed to get to a place where they were civil and both let go of resentment and bad feelings but Buck never got close. Phone calls for major holidays, dinner when they came into town every couple of years, Buck would share life updates but they were near the bottom of the list of people he would tell. Whereas Bobby was near the top, whenever Buck had big news Bobby had been his first call. When he had moved into Eddie’s house, Bobby had been there helping him unpack the kitchen. Holidays and birthdays were celebrated together; they were family.

Bobby was also there for the bad. He had shown up the night Eddie had died and basically never left as he knew that Buck needed him. Buck had remained strong for Christopher as long as he could, till a couple of days later when Chris was with Denny and Buck had finally broken down. He had cried and let the pain of losing Eddie take over, Maddie had been on one side and Bobby on the other. Bobby had been there, an ever-steady presence of support. Bobby had been there on his darkest day.

“I’m here Bobby,” Buck whispers, watching Bobby’s chest moving up and down. That’s how Buck stayed all night. He sat and watched Bobby breathing making sure it did not stop. Never closing his eyes, never taking his eyes off the man.

The sun came up and Buck stood up and checked on Bobby. Still breathing. He stretched out, his muscles aching from sitting in that chair for too many hours. Buck put the chair back where he had got it from, put on his shoes and then his jacket. He had drunk one of the water bottles but the second was still full, he put the empty ones in the bin and the full one back in the fridge.

Buck looked around for any trace he had been there before grabbing Hen’s keys and leaving. He drove to Hen’s with all the windows open, pulling into the drive-through Starbucks for coffee on the way. He got three coffees, One plain black for him on the drive to Hen’s place, a latte for Hen, and then an oat milk latte for himself with two types of sugary syrup, Vanilla and Caramel, hopefully, the sugar and caffeine would keep him awake.

Buck texts Hen that he was on his way and he pulled up just as Karen was leaving to take Denny to school. The duo waved to him and Buck waved back. Karen also shouted back into the house and Hen also came out a few seconds later, locked the door and jumped into the Jeep.

“Morning Buck,” Hen greeted, with a small smile.

“Morning, Hen,” Buck greeted back as he began to drive back to Bobby's, not that she knew that is where he had been all night, “Coffee for you,”.

“Angel!” Hen thanked him as she grabbed her coffee, “You sure about this? Checking on Cap? You know he likes his privacy,”.

“You’re worried as well,” Buck told her, “Otherwise you would leave me to make my own stupid mistakes with Cap and stay out of it. I know we haven’t worked together long but I do know you, Henrietta,”.

“Don’t call me that, Evan,” Hen shot back, and then took a sip of her coffee, “You’re right, I am worried about Cap. He’s been off since Chim and his face at the scene…Plus I don’t know much about Bobby’s story before the 118, but I do know he’s in recovery and that’s what has me worried”.

“You have good instinct,” Buck told her, “If you are worried I don’t think you should ignore that. Plus if it helps if he gets mad you can blame it on me,” Buck offered, with a smile.

“I’ll take you up on that, Buck,” Hen said, “You know where you are going,”.

Buck did but he shook his head, “You direct me,”.

They arrived at Bobby’s and this time Buck took the lift rather than the stairs. Hen rang the bell a couple of times before knocking.

“Bobby! It’s us! Open up!” She yelled before knocking again, she then turned to Buck, “Maybe he’s gone to work early,”.

“Ring the bell again,” Buck said as he got out his phone and began calling Bobby’s mobile, “Can you hear that?”.

“He’s home,” Hen whispered, before banging again, “Bobby!”.

“Let me kick it down,” Buck said as he took a step back. He had snuck Bobby’s keys back into Hen’s bag on the way, she had grabbed them as they left the jeep.

“Slow down, hotshot,” Hen calmed him, “Bobby and I gave each other spare keys just in case one of us couldn't make it home one day”.

Hen opened the door, “Bobby?”.

Buck watched Hen look around the empty apartment much like he had last night. She walked over and picked up the empty bottle of Jack Daniel he had left for her to find. Buck walked towards the bedroom to see Bobby lying there just as he had left him just over an hour ago.

“Hen!” He called her over, “In here,”.

Hen came and looked in through the door, “Oh Bobby,”.

Buck held back as she walked into and leaned in towards Bobby, “Bobby wake up!”

Hen placed her hand and shook him slightly and Bobby groaned but did not wake up.

“Come up,” Hen said to him, “Let’s get him up,”.

Buck nodded, “I got him, you go start the shower,”.

Hen nodded sadly and did as Buck asked, taking her to the bathroom. Buck grabbed Bobby and lifted him just as he heard the water start to run.

“Come on, Bobby,” Buck whispered, “We got you,”.

Buck quickly got Bobby into the shower and then stood back with Hen. They watched him wake up and Buck turned away.

“I’ll go and make some coffee,” He said to Hen, walking out the bathroom and towards the kitchen. He wanted this day to be over. He wanted to sleep and wake up back in his own time before Eddie’s death back when his life was normal. Reliving the past was a blessing in certain ways but having to go through things like this was a curse.

“You okay, Buck?” Hen asked a few minutes later as he stood watching the coffee dripping into the pot.

“How’s Bobby?” Buck asked instead of answering her question. It was just something he could not answer, he was too tired to lie to the people he loved today.

“He’s awake, but his head hurts I bet” Hen answered, grabbing Buck three mugs “He’s just putting some clothes on.”.

Buck nodded at that and made the three coffee each to the drinker's perfect temperament. Buck handed Hen her’s just as Bobby came out and sat on the couch.

Hen grabbed Bobby’s coffee and walked over and handed it to him. Buck hung back in the kitchen for a moment.

“You guys have questions?” Bobby asked, his voice toneless, neutral. Buck hated it.

“How long has it been?” Hen asked him, sitting down herself in the armchair next to Bobby.

“546 days,” Bobby answered, “45 and a half if we're being picky…18 months”.

Buck sighed and walked over with his coffee and one hand and a bottle of water in the other. He handed the water out to Bobby, “You should hydrate..coffee after,”.

Bobby looked up at him and actually took the water. Buck nodded and sat down on the coffee table and took a sip of his coffee. He noticed that he and Hen had swapped seats this time around and wondered if that meant something.

“Was it the crash that triggered you?” Buck asked after a moment, thinking that if not for Bobby needing him Buck would have found himself needing a drink after yesterday’s shift. Water was still a tough one for him all these years later and kids in water even more so. In his own time after a call like yesterday, he had been able to go home and see with his own eyes that Christopher was okay.

“Yup,” Bobby nodded, not looking at either of them in their eyes. His gaze focused on the empty wall

Hen leaned forward, “We all have our breaking points,”.

“Who were you cooking dinner for?” Hen then asked before elaborating, “There are four plates set,”.

“I don’t know,” Bobby answered, Buck could see the lie, the pain was clear. He missed it the first time because he hadn’t known Bobby. He knew this time, “I was drunk,”.

Buck wanted to call him out on that but knew Hen would speak and get Bobby to open up, after all, it was Hen, she was good like that. She had a natural talent for knowing what to say and when to say it. A way with words, but equally she knew when she waited and let someone else speak, the silence was a powerful tool. It was what made her an amazing Doctor.

Buck waited with her. Using the silence, waiting for Bobby to fill it.

“This is a one-time thing, I promise, okay?” Bobby told them and Buck almost believed him, but he knew him better than that. He was staying. Bobby needed him “I'm good. I'm sorry I put you guys through this,”.

Buck wanted to say he did not need to apologise, that they were family and this is what family did for one another.

“You know why redwoods can grow so high?” Hen asked after a moment, “They move and bend with the wind. If you stay rigid, eventually you'll break,”.

“Hen, You calling me uptight?” Bobby asked her, trying to lighten the mood, he turned to Buck and he said, “She's calling me uptight, isn't she?”

Bobby shot Bobby a small smile of support, “I think what she is saying is maybe ask for help once in a while? You’re not alone”.

Buck watched Bobby’s face changed and the pain shows clearly, the mask he had been keeping in place for so long slipped and his guard coming down, “Help,”.

Bobby cried and Hen and Buck moved together towards their captain, both wrapping themselves around him from either side. Buck gripped Bobby tight, much in the same way Bobby had held him after Eddie had died. Buck held on and just let Bobby let it out. He needed this. This had happened.

“I’m sorry you guys. I’m so sorry,” Bobby said, tears on his face, but there was a crack in his voice still.

“Don’t be,” Hen told him.

“We’re here, Bobby,” Buck added, “We got you,”.

Bobby sighed and took a breath and grabbed hold of one of each of their hands that were holding on to him and placed his hand on top of it to hold on. Buck could feel how tight Bobby was holding on to him and just let him take all the time he needed. Buck remembered how he felt the first time and how it had been a shock to see Bobby lose it. He had always looked up to him and wanted to impress him and put him on some form of untouchable pedestal with his hero worship of his captain. This is the moment when all that had been pushed aside and Buck had seen that Bobby was just a man. A man who was maybe just as lost as he was.

========================================

They stayed with Bobby a couple more hours, Buck made them some breakfast with the little food there was in Bobby’s fridge. Maybe he could drop off a food care package as he had done for Athena. Damn, Buck had not checked in with Athena, he was sure there was all the work drama going on with her at the moment but she had yet to reach out to him. Being an outsider to his own family really sucked. He made a mental note to try and arrange drinks with her for next week or maybe ask her over for dinner and see if she wanted to bring May.

Before they had to head to work. Bobby seemed okay mostly. Food, coffee and a shower seemed to help him. Buck drove them all to work in the jeep, worried about Bobby’s blood alcohol level. The first call-out was a small medical call out and luckily the only call out for that morning so Buck was actually able to get some sleep before the next call out. The shift was going okay, work seemed to be helping Bobby. It was late afternoon and Buck helped Bobby clean the kitchen after they had been able to eat a full meal.

Buck was making an effort to keep chatting away like normal. He was quiet around Bobby the first time around and this time he wanted to be more normal. He chatted and joked and kept talking about anything that would come to mind, Bobby engaged a little, maybe a little quieter than normal.

“I know I’m her kid brother but I just wish she would talk to me more,” Buck explained the situation he was having with Maddie, “I mean I know it must be bothering her that Doug is in a Coma but she refuses to talk about it, she just focusing all her energy on Dan,”.

“Well he was shot,” Bobby pointed out, as he handed Buck a dish to go in the dishwasher. Buck knew the pain of watching someone you loved to get shot right in front of you, he understood the lasting effects of that better than most.

“I know, but he’s doing so much better and I know she isn’t talking to him either and the idea of therapy just caused a fight between us,” Buck explained, “Honestly I don’t know why people have just an issue with therapy and put up such a fight. Therapy works!”.

“You’ve been to therapy?” Bobby asked, a tone of surprise and a lot of emphasis on the word you.

Buck rolled his eyes, and moved around Bobby to grab the last of the dishes that went into the dishwasher, “You seriously think I’d be this well adjusted without years of therapy? Honestly, I was an insecure mess who did not know how to healthily talk about my feeling and I confused affection and sex. Everyone should go to therapy, but right now Maddie should go, after everything she’s been through she needs to talk to a professional,”.

“Maybe talking won’t help,” Bobby shrugged, “Maybe she’s just trying to move on,”.

Buck got the feeling they were no longer talking about Maddie, but that was okay, he could go with that just fine, “No offence but you don’t just move on from trauma, that’s not how it works, you can push it down but it always comes back into your life somehow. You push down your feelings for years and they are gonna spill out somehow and you’ll end up punching a stranger in a car park over a parking space or breaking down in the middle of the night clutching a baseball bat”.

“That’s specific,” Bobby responded.

“There is no shame in therapy, just like there is no shame in accepting help from the people around you who care about you,” Buck told him, needing to get this out, “People want to help and you should let them. Trust me, pushing people away does not work. The scariest place to be is on your own and you do not own your own, you have a team of people here for you. Let us help. If you want to talk, tell us about your past and about what’s going on, maybe about that little book you carry around and stare at but we aren’t allowed to ask you about. I’m here okay,”.

Before Bobby could respond and Buck was interested to see what his response would be, the bell rang out.

“Think about what I said, Cap,” Buck called out.

Turns out all Bobby’s pushed down trama came out at the next call. Two stories collapsed in the middle of a wedding, the floor gave way, trapping the bride and killing dozens of people. It was a bad call right away. Any call where there were casualties before they even arrived was concerning. Everything was going okay until Bobby realised a third floor had been added and it was the roof that had caved in. People’s lives had been put at risk at the expense of saving a few dollars.

Bobby lost it at the owner, Buck remembered this from last time now he had thought about it. Bobby trama came out in the form of anger and he grabbed the owner and began yelling. This time Buck had not been too stunned to react, he had moved and pulled Bobby away.

“Bobby!” Buck yelled, pulling him back and shoving up towards Hen and away from the owner who made a pretty swift exit. Buck made a mental note to follow up to make sure the police followed up and checked out the owner.

Buck’s attention was drawn back to his teammate when he heard Hen say “Not 24 hours ago, you were saying, ‘Help.’ What happened to that?”.

Bobby walked past Buck, and Buck hoped he was not going after the owner.

“He’s not okay,” Buck turned and said to Hen, “We need to do something,”.

“I’m not sure what else we can do, Buck,” Hen muttered sadly, “After all we barely know the guy and it doesn’t look like he wants our help,”.

“No, but I think he needs it,” Buck told her before walking after Bobby.

They finished up at the scene and then headed back to the station, it was nearly 3 am and Buck could feel the tiredness deep within. He felt drained, both physically and emotionally.

Their shift ended at 7 am and Buck was ready to sleep till the end of it. Bobby went and shut himself in his office and Hen went to the bunk room to sleep. Buck could feel the tension in his body to decide on a shower first before sleep. The shower helped ease the tension in his muscles.

It really had been a long week. Buck thought about booking some time off and driving down the coast for a couple of days. Maybe he should look at renting a beach house for a week, Maddie and Dan could come with him, maybe make it a group thing and see if Keria wanted to bring Lizzie and Olly could go with Jesse. Will would take some convincing but that could be a fun idea for them all to get away for a short break. Buck began mentally planning the trip as he lay down in a bunk and his eyes drifted shut.

In what felt like minutes later Buck awoke. He opened his eyes and saw his teammates moving around and getting up.

“Hometime, Buck,” Hen whispered before she left the bunk room.

Buck grabbed his phone and saw it was 6.43 am. He got up and stretched. He went to the bathroom and began getting ready for the end of his shift and to head home.

7 am hit and Bobby was quick to leave, followed by Hen. Buck took his time and had another cup of coffee before driving home. He was ready for home and his head, it seemed like it had been days since he had been back to the 117. Shit, he needed to text Maddie.

Buck looked for his phone and found it in the bottom of his bag, he’d left it behind all day. He was about to look at texts from Maddie when another text grabbed his attention and made his heart stop for a moment. It was from Abby. Her Mom was missing.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22 - Longest Day Ever

Buck looked for his phone and found it in the bottom of his bag, he’d left it behind all day. He was about to look at texts from Maddie when another text grabbed his attention and made his heart stop for a moment. It was from Abby. Her Mom was missing.

I need help. Can you call me when you get a second? 5.32 am
It’s my mom. She’s missing. 5.49 am
Can you let me know if you hear anything 6.03 am

Another thing that Buck had let slip through the cracks, he never realised how close together all these events were. He had forgotten about Abby's mother going MIA for a period of time which had led to him meeting Abby for the first time. These things happened so long ago and yes he remembered them but clearly in a lot of detail. He remembered the rush of looking for Abby’s Mom and her worrying about her. He knew it was Athena who called them and she had been brought into a local hospital by some locals. Buck tried to rack his brain for anything else that happened but he was coming up blank.

Buck quickly dialled Abby without hesitation. He had to help her. Things were different this time, they were friends, real-life friends.

“Hello!” Abby answered, sounding frantic and exhausted.

“Abby it’s Buck,” Buck replied, “I just saw your texts,”.

“Hey…are you at work?” Abby asked, and Buck could hear the worry in her voice.

“Just leaving, are you at your place?” Buck asked her, grabbing his stuff and heading out the firehouse and to his jeep, “Are you okay?”

“I’m losing it, Buck…I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown,” Abby told him.

“How long has she been gone?” Buck asked, jumping into the Jeep, switching the phone to Bluetooth and heading towards Abby’s place.

“Couple of hours,” Abby answered, “She was just gone when I woke up…I closed my eyes for a second and now…”.

“So I called you and now I'm now calling the police, and I've got to call the hospitals, the shelters... My brother's in Vegas. He's gonna need to try to get a flight back,” Abby explained, “I drove around the area and hoped she didn’t get far…but…”.

“I’m on my way,” Buck told her, “I’m coming. We’ll find her,”.

“You don’t need to…” Abby tried to say, but Buck cut her off, “I didn’t need you to come, I just thought if you were on shift you might hear something,”.

“We’re friends and friends are there when the other one is in trouble,” Buck told her, “I’m coming to help, hand tight,”.

“Okay,” Abby agreed. Buck hung up and put his foot down on the peddle. So much for getting to go and sleep in his own bed. Buck wracked his mind for where Abby’s mother had ended up but the most he remembered was that it had been somewhere in South LA and the men who found her had recognized what was going on with her and brought her to the hospital where Athena had called him and met them there. Buck was also certain Abby had not texted him for help but he had found later in the day when she had sent out a missing person flyer to all her contacts.

Clearly, this time she had felt comfortable messaging her firefighter friend for help. He understood why Abby felt like that, friends were there to help, guys you spoke on the phone to but never actually met were not.

He made good time getting to Abby’s place and quickly made his way to her apartment. He had not been here yet in this timeline. The last time he had been here was when he had made the choice to move out and move on from Abby after she had ghosted him. That felt like a whole other lifetime ago right now. Buck pushed it down and knocked on the door of the place he once lived out.

Abby answered the door, her bright red hair was down and wild, she was in dungarees that Buck remembered he found adorable and actually kinda hot on her the first time around. She was on the phone but nodded at him to come in.

“Yes, that’s right,” Abby confirmed down the phone, “Yeah, I’ll get a picture sent over to you, I’ll do that now…what’s the email?”.

Abby began looking for a bit of paper and a pen and Buck saw one and handed it over. She nodded thanks and wrote the email down, “Thank you so much! Bye”.

“Thanks for coming,” Abby said as soon as she hung up the phone.

“Of course, What can I do to help?” Buck asked, he knew Abby knew what she was doing, but he was here to help,”.

“I’ve been calling people. Hospitals, Shelters…I need to finish a missing person flyer so I can get them sent out,” Abby told him, “Then I need to try and figure out where she could possibly be…”.

“Okay, you work on the flyer…” Buck told her, sitting her down at the laptop, “I’ll make some calls, I have a friend who works at the hospital and I’ll call my friend in the police and then we will go from there, okay?”.

“Thank you, Buck,” Abby said as she sat down at her laptop to do just that.

Buck walked into the living room to make his calls.

He called Jesse first,

“Hey, Jesse. How’s it going?” Buck said as she answered.

“Buck, I’m having a day. I’m on a 48-hour shift, not sleeping. The coffee is no longer working so just tell me what you need,” Jesse told him quickly, and Buck felt a stab of guilt that his friend knew he was phoning for a favour. When life calmed down he really needed to take Jesse out for dinner or send her flowers or something to show how much he appreciated her.

“My friend’s mother is missing, she’s got Alzheimer's. She got out last night and now we can’t find her,” Buck answered, he really needed to do something nice for Jesse, every time he called her he seemed to be asking for some kind of favour lately. He needed to show her he was thankful, “Can I send you over a flyer and can you keep an ear out for her,”.

Jesse sighed, “Of course, I will. What’s her name?”

“Patricia Clark,” Buck answered, “I’ll send you all the info. Thank you so much for this! Come over on your next day off and I'll cook. You and your Dad, okay?”.

“Okay,” Jesse agreed, “Sounds good. I’ll call you if I hear anything, but Buck I've got to go, the ER is crazy. I’ll call you okay?”.

Jesse hung up and Buck moved on to his next call. Athena.

“Hey Buck,” Athena greeted as she answered.

“How's my favourite cop in the whole wide world?” Buck asked Athena, wanting to get on her good side early.

“What do you want, Buck?” Athena asked, “I’m just heading into work,”.

Buck explained the situation the same way he did to Jesse and Athena agreed to keep a lookout.

“I’m chained to a desk right now, Buck,” Athena explained, “But I’ll keep an eye out for anyone matching that description and I’ll let you know,”.

“Why are you chained to a desk?” Buck asked, he had not seen Athena lately and had missed what was going on with her.

“That’s a whole story, Buck,” Athena sighed, “I’m meeting Hen for a drink tonight if you wanna join us and I'll fill you in?”.

“I’ll have to see what happened here,” Buck told her, thinking they should have found Patrica by then and hopefully just like the first time around, “Head to Patty’s, Will’s working so he’ll sort you out with drinks and I’ll stop by if I can,”.

“Okay, talk to you later, Buck,” Athena told him, before hanging up. Once again Buck was grateful to have Athena Grant in his life and in his corner. She would be the one to come through for them. That did not mean Buck just got to be able to sit back and wait for her call. They had to try and find Patricia and plus they had a little girl in a swimming pool to save.

Buck walked by in the kitchen, “Anyone else we should be calling?”.

Abby shook her head, “I’ve sent the flyer over to shelters, we need to get them printed out and drop them off in person as well. Plus maybe try and work how far she could have got,”.

“Send me a copy, “ Buck told her, he needed to get a copy to Jesse and Athena,

“I need to start looking at where she could have gone,” Abby said, as she pulled up a map on her laptop.

There was a knock on the door.

“I’ll grab that,” Buck told her, “You get to work,”.

“Thanks, it will be my friend who I called to come and help,” Abby told him as he made his way to the front door. Buck thought if he should call his friend to come and help out, Maddie and Dan would come for sure and so would Will and Olly if they were free.

Buck opened the door and was taken aback by the person standing on the other side. Now, this was a surprise. A very warm and extremely welcome surprise in the form of a great friend of Buck.

There was Carla Price.

Buck nearly cried at the sight of the woman who was like family to him. Carla had been a dear friend and a constant in his life for so many years. Naturally, they had spent so much time together in the Diaz household as she cared for Christopher, but even as Chris got older and more independent, they never lost that closeness with Carla. She had always been there, particularly when he needed someone. The woman had a sixth sense for when her friends needed her and was an extremely good listener and excellent adviser. She had been a close confidant of Buck’s and he just adored her.

Having her right there in front of him was a lot. He missed so many people from his old life it was hard to process and a lot of the time that meant pushing that pain down and trying to forget about all the people he lost when waking up in the past. He was getting them back slowly though and now there was another one back in his life. Carla was back.

“Hello,” Carla greeted, and that’s when Buck realised he had opened the door and just stared at her in awe and shock and not greeted her. Buck cursed himself for being rude to Carla.

“I’m sorry!” Buck said, moving out the way to let Carla walk in. Abby had left the kitchen now and Buck could hear her on the phone in the living room, talking to what sounded like her brother, “I’m Buck, by the way, Abby’s friend”.

“I know who you are,” Carla told him, as she walked in and placed her bag on the table, “Now, tell me how can I help?”.

“We’ve made up flyers, we need to get them out there and work out how far she could have gotten on foot in the hours she’s been missing,” Buck explained, trying to push down the feeling of wanting to hug Carla and never let go.

“Well that Patrica is a fast walker so that might be further than you think,” Carla informed him, and Buck tried to keep his heart under control. He had missed this woman so much, “What about hospitals?”.

“We’ve called,” Buck told her, “Plus I have a friend who works there and she's keeping an eye out for me as well,”.

“That was my brother, he’s trying to get a flight out,” Abby said as she walked back into the kitchen and saw Carla, “Thank you for coming,”.

“No problem,” Carla told her, moving to give Abby a hug and what Buck would not do for his own hug off this woman, “Your lovely friend Buck here was just filling me in. Now let’s get those flyers printed and find your Mom okay?”.

The trio got to work quickly getting everything done, they worked quickly. A couple of hours later they had made some good progress and Buck felt they had done well but needed to get out there looking for her now.

“So making assumptions based on her being on foot, because if she's on a bus, or in a taxi, then... she could have gotten much further, we think she could be walking three miles an hour,” Abby summarised.

“But there is no way she couldn't have been walking the entire time,” Buck added.

“Right,” Abby agreed, “That's what I was thinking, so I figured, maybe 15 to 20-mile range, but then that seems too far, so I bring it down to 12, do you think?”.

Buck nodded, “But in any direction,”.

“But in any direction, so we would have just under 527 square miles to check. But, I mean, literally, she could be anywhere. I... I don't know what to do. I'm so much better when it's somebody else's emergency,” Abby moaned, Buck knew she would be feeling like they had an impossible task and she did not know what he did that her Mom would be found by this evening and be absolutely fine. She still had all that worry.

“No one is good when it's personal,” Buck comforted her, thinking about all the times he lost it when it got personal for him. He was notoriously bad for losing it, particularly when it came to Eddie being in danger, “But we got this, okay. We're gonna find your mom. Promise,”

“Okay.” Abby agreed with a nod, “How are we gonna do it?”

“One mile at a time,” Buck told her. “Let's go find her,”.

Being back on this day was weird for Buck. It was such a big day for him the first time around, it was the day he met Abby for the first time. This time it did not have the same impact. He knew her, they had met and they were friends. He also knew that he would never ever fall in love with her. There were no feelings on his side, even the resentment and anger for how she had ended their relationship and had treated him was gone. Buck mainly felt sympathy for her and her situation, he knew she needed a friend and was happy to step in and be that.

Buck followed them in Abby’s direction and was waiting for the call to come in about the power pole and the three-year-old little girl trapped in the pool. He knew they needed to be there to stop the Dad from jumping in to save her. Finally, the call came through and just like last time Abby insisted they go and help. They arrived on the scene and much like the first time Buck had to tackle the Dad to stop him from jumping into the water. He let Abby take the lead in saving the kid, knowing she needed it more than he did. They saved her just the same as last time and Buck could see how much joy it brought Abby.

“Once again you were kinda a badass back there,” Buck told her as they walked back to the jeep, “Calm, cool under pressure, quick thinker. Think you could have been a firefighter in another life,”.

“That was so exhilarating.” Abby gushed back “I mean, I'm usually miles away on the other end of a phone. You get to do that every day. Such a high,”.

“Yeah, it’s my calling, I love it,” Buck told her, “It’s a privilege to get to do it, one I’m grateful for everyday. Just knowing that I can go, help people, is amazing. You saved that little girl’s life there and her dads,”.

“Guess I did,” Abby agreed with a small smile.

“Now let’s go and find your Mom,” Buck told her.

They got back in the jeep and carried on driving covering as much ground as they could. Buck knew their call from Athena was due any minute, he remembered it had just gone dark as she called with the news.

“It’s getting dark,” Abby commented, breaking the silence that had fallen between them as they had been driving around.

“I know,” Buck knew that she was saying the darker it got the harder it would be to spot her. Plus the temperature would drop and the poor woman was only in her nightgown, “We’re going to find. Don’t give up hope, don’t go to that place,”.

“I should have just accepted Carla’s help,” Abby mumbled, “I don’t know why it’s so hard,”.

“Some people view asking for help as admitting failure. That by saying I need help means they failed in some way, that they are weak,” Buck told her, “That’s bullshit, it’s strong to ask for help, to know there are people around you who want to help you and it’s brave to admit you can’t do everything on your own and accept help,”.

“She’s my Mom, my responsibility,” Abby mumbled.

“I had this friend, single Dad,” Buck began, thinking back to the time Eddie left the 118 “He was the best Dad, cared so much about his kid, he loved him so much and he moved to LA so they could have a better life and tried to do it all on his own and he couldn't. It was hard for him to ask for help, he used to put so much pressure on himself and it kept building up over the years. It was just too much and he eventually just broke down one day. Seeing him like that…it was a lot. He got help and learned to talk about what he was feeling. Learned it was okay to ask for help and that it was okay to not be okay all the time. That did not make him a bad father, in fact, I think it made him a better father.

You should accept the help people are offering, we do it because we are about you and your mom,”.

Before Abby could respond Buck’s phone rang through the Bluetooth and Athena’s name popped up.

“Hey, Athena, Did you find her?” Buck asked as he answered the phone, already getting ready to drive to the hospital.

“A woman fitting her description was brought into the County General Hospital about 20 minutes ago,” Athena replied, “I’m on my way there now, about ten minutes away,”.

“We’re about thirty,” Buck responded, “We’ll meet you there, Sergeant”.

They made good time getting to the hospital and got Abby reunited with her Mom after she thanked the three men who had brought her in. Buck could see the relief on Abby’s face that her Mom was safe and back with her. Buck texted Carla and Jesse that they had found Patricia as Abby was with her Mom speaking to the doctor.

Buck was glad that this had all played out like last time and none of his actions had caused a change in events. They had saved the little girl just like before and Abby's Mom was okay, they had found her just like the first time. This was a win. After Chimney’s accident Buck had worried about the lack of control he had over the timeline and its events. He had been worried that he had not changed enough that the bad stuff would still happen but had also changed so much that the good stuff would not happen.

Travelling back in time was stressful.

“You’re friend, okay getting home?” Athena asked Buck as she came to stand next to him outside Patrica’s room.

Buck nodded, “I’ll get them home. Thank you for your help today,”.

Athena shrugged him off, “No problem, I was glad I could help. At least I could do something useful today,”.

“You okay?” Buck checked in, he needed to do better in checking in with the people he cared about, he knew there was so much going on in their lives that they did not feel comfortable sharing with him because they had all known him for such a short amount of time. That did not mean he did not care and wanted to help them.

“Long month,” Athena answered, “You're coming for a drink tonight. My shift is nearly over, going to go and meet up with Hen”.

“Yeah, I’ll get Abby and her Mom dropped off and then I'll come to meet you,” Buck replied, his bed sounded like a better idea but a drink would also work. He had a day off tomorrow, he could catch up on sleep then. He had really missed his bed, “A drink feels needed after today,”.

Abby sat with her Mom in the back of the jeep on the drive back to Abby’s place. It was a quiet drive with just the soft music coming from the radio that Buck had on low. He drove them home, checking on them in the mirror every now and again. A couple of times he and Abby made eye contact and smiled at each other. They arrived at Abby’s place and Buck hung back in the kitchen while Abby got her Mom settled in bed.

Buck could hear Abby’s mom saying she was sorry and Abby comforting her, Buck wanted to leave them to it but felt rude going with at least saying goodbye to Abby.

“Okay, Mom,” Buck heard Abby say to her Mom as he walked in, “You're okay now,”.

“Is this Tommy?” Patrica asked Abby as she pointed at Buck, “Did you cut your hair differently?”

“ Mom, that's not Tommy…Um, I broke up with Tommy,” Abby told her Mom, “That's Buck. He was the one who helped me find you,”

“Where did I go?” Abby’s Mom asked her.

“Abby I’m gonna take off,” Buck told Abby before walking towards Patricia, “It was lovely to meet you Mr Clark. I’m glad you are back with your daughter, she’s one of the good ones,”.

Patrica nodded at him, “She worries about me. Be kind to her,”.

“I will,” Buck promised, “You take care okay? Maybe we’ll get to hang out some more soon?”.

“I’ll walk you out,” Abby said, “Mom I’ll be right back okay?”.

Abby and Buck walked into the kitchen and Abby shut the door to separate them from her Mom. Buck was trying to remember the conversation they had last time but was coming up blank. He knew they ended up having phone sex tonight but that certainly would not happen this time.

“Thank you for your help today,” Abby told him, as Buck took a step back and leaned against the far countertop.

“I was happy to help, like I said before it’s okay to ask for help,” Buck reminded her, he got the feeling he needed to leave.

Abby nodded moving to stand next to him “You really gave me back a piece of myself today. You're the first person in a long time to show me that I exist outside of this house and away from this hospital bed and the frustration. So thanks. I had fun spending time with you - despite the circumstance,”.

“You’re welcome, Abby,” Buck told her, noticing that Abby’s hand was now on his arm and he knew what that move meant. He had seen that move before, he had used that move before, “I’m really glad we are friends,”.

“Me too,” Abby whispered, looking up at him and Buck saw that her focus was on his lips. He was glad for his height advantage which meant she would need him to lead down to kiss him. He saw her raise herself up slightly, leaning in.

“I should go,” Buck whispered.

Abby nodded and moved away slightly but was still too close to him for his comfort level.

“You should come over to dinner this week, I’ll cook,” Abby suggested lightly but Buck was full of nervous energy. He had really thought he could avoid any kind of romantic interaction with Abby. In his mind, he was in a loving and committed relationship with Eddie, even if they had technically not met yet. That was weird, “You know to say thank you,”.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Buck agreed, but quickly added, “You should see if Carla’s free and we can get dinner for the four of us. I did promise your Mom we’d hang out soon,”.

Abby giggled, and Buck knew this was not good. He would need to make sure Abby did not get the wrong idea here that they could be anything more than friends. He thought he had been clear right from the start with her about the place he was in and how he was not in a position to date. Clearly, his caring about her and helping out today had given her the wrong idea.

“I’ll call you,” Abby said, as Buck moved towards the front door to leave.

“Okay!” Buck said, clearly speaking too loud, “I’ll see you then! Bye Abby!”.

Buck cursed himself all the way down to the jeep and for most of the drive to the bar. He was glad that Abby’s mother was home and safe but Abby’s feelings for him were not part of his plan. He had honestly thought they would be able to just be friends, believing that the first time around it had been him who had pushed them over the line of just friends. He would just have to be clearer that he was not in a place for dating. Buck had no interest in dating anyone who was not Eddie Diaz.

Not that he expected to be able to date Eddie anytime soon. He had to move to LA first, join the LAFD, train and then join the 118 before they would even meet. Then there was the whole issue of Eddie being married. It had taken them over ten years of friendship to sort their shit out and their feelings for one another before they got together. Buck was a patient man and was happy to wait for Eddie but he would go crazy if he had to wait ten years. He had time to come up with a plan for that, a plan for how to get Eddie to fall in love with him and he knew he would.

His relationship with Eddie had been worth the wait. They had taken their time, way too much time according to certain loved ones, but they had been ready to be with each other when the time had finally come. They had been more than ready in fact, both men had been in love with each other for years and were both in a place where they were ready to just be together and be happy. They were happy as well. Buck knew that it was the happiest time in both his and Eddie’s lives when they had been together.

Buck would get that back. He had to. He believed that Eddie was his other half, his destiny, his soulmate. He had no doubt that whatever the universe had in the works in sending him back in time that it meant he would get to be with Eddie again. Buck believed that deep in his soul that he would get to be with Eddie again.

It would be hard but it would be worth it. Buck knew it would take time and it would be impossibly hard to watch Eddie with Shannon. He could do it, he could do anything for Eddie.

“Buck!” Hen waved him over as he walked into Patty’s.

Buck walked over with a smile, “Hey guys, I’m gonna grab a drink. Same again?”.

Athena and Hen both nodded and Buck walked over to the bar where Marco was serving. Marco smiled at him as he finished serving the couple in front of him before moving over to Buck.

“Buck, my boy!” Marco greeted, handing Buck over a beer, “How are you doing?”.

“I’m good, Marco,” Buck smiled as he leaned against the bar, “No Will tonight?”.

“No…our young Mr Will asked for the night off to ‘study’ but…” Marco insinuated with a raise of his eyebrow.

“You don’t think so…” Buck finished, “He had been kinda quiet later…he’s cancelled our last two plans to go on a hike,”.

“I think maybe he’s met someone,” Marco shared. Buck loved how much Marco was a gossip though he would never admit to it, “Which is good, that boy had no life…all work and study…like someone else I know,”.

“Marco,” Buck warned, but Marco paid him no mind.

“You should go out on a date…it’s time,” Marco told him, “You can’t be on your own forever. It’s time to put yourself out there again,”.

“Not yet,” Buck told him, “Besides I don’t see you out there dating,”.

“I’m old and set in my ways…but you are young, Evan!” Marco said to him with a flip of his hand, “You should not waste your youth,”.

“I’m not, I'm just focusing on what matters…my job, my friends, my family…building my life,” Buck told him and all of that was true but equally he was waiting for Eddie. He would wait for Eddie forever.

“That’s all very well and good, but a life is nothing without someone to share it with,” Marco said, “Just think about what I've said. You are such a good man…you need love and I don’t know why you are so closed off to the idea of meeting someone,”.

“I’ll think about it,” Buck agreed, “Can I get the same again for my friends and put their drinks on my tab,”.

Marco nodded and got Athena and Hen’s drink and Buck made his way back to the table to join his friends who seemed to be a couple of drinks in.

“How’s your friend’s Mom?” Athena asked as Buck handed them their drinks.

“Thanks, yes, Athena told me. Glad you found her,” Hen added, smiling over at him.

“She’s home, where she needs to be,” Buck told them, taking a drink of his beer.

“You and your friend Abby seemed close?” Athena asked, giving him a look that a few years ago would have had him stuttering and spilling all his secrets to her. Athena Grant was an intimidating woman.

Buck stared back with a smile on his face, he knew what she was asking, “She’s going through a lot right now, needed a friend today,”.

Hen jumped in, “Can’t believe you’ve been driving around all day after that shift. When was the last time you went home?”.

Buck could not actually remember, it was before the plane crash, which was two or three days ago now, Maddie would be getting worried, “What day are we on? It’s been crazy. I’m still worried about Bobby Hen,”.

“I know,” Hen nodded, “I was talking about it to Athena before you got here. We really know nothing about him and his apartment…”.

“It was so empty,” Buck agreed, “Like no one lived there. I want to help him,”.

“Buck, you know you can’t help everyone, as crazy as a concept that will be for you,” Athena told him, “I know it goes against your very nature,”.

Buck looked at her and was once again reminded of Eddie telling him how he liked to fix people’s problems and sometimes not everything could be fixed. Buck was really starting to hate Eddie sounding like voice in his head, “I just don’t want him to think he’s on his own, I think he just needs time to trust us and open up. He’s our Captain and an amazing one at that,”.

“I’m just worried about what he’s hiding,” Hen added the concern palpable in her voice, “You saw him lose it on that call last night,”.

Buck nodded, “So we keep an eye on him. Make him see we can trust us and he will open us. Bobby’s a good man, that’s clear,”.

“I still think you should let me do a background check on the guy,” Athena mumbled while picking up her drink, “Not like I've got anything else to do while stuck behind a desk,”.

“Why are you confined to a desk again?” Buck asked Athena, he still did not know why she was on desk duty.

“You haven’t heard about Athena going rouge?” Hen asked him as she flashed a grin, “Buckle in Buck this is a hell of a story of our very own badass mamma,”.

…………………

Buck got back to the 117 a couple of hours later. He had a nice time with Hen and Athena, it had been a good way to cool down and let go of all the extra adrenaline, but now he was tired and very much ready for his bed. It had been a long few days and he needed to sleep for at least twelve hours before he felt human again. The firehouse was dark and, clearly, Maddie and Dan were already in bed. Buck double-checked the alarm was on and headed up the top floor in the lift, he reached the top floor and went around the corner to where the bedrooms were and just as he was about to open his door, he heard the door behind him creep open.

Buck turned around to see Maddie one on Dan’s shirts with her dressing gown wrapped around her and her feet bare.

“Hey Mads,” Buck whispered to her with a small smile.

Maddie tiptoed towards him looking up with her head turned slightly, “Do I know you? I think you look familiar?,”.

“Sorry, I haven’t been home, work was crazy and Bobby had a thing and then Abby and her Mom…it’s been a crazy week, Mads,” Buck told her, still keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Dan who was most likely asleep in Maddie’s room.

Maddie moved and hugged him, “I thought maybe you stayed overnight with you know a special someone…Abby or someone from work,”.

Buck shook his head as he hugged his sister back, “No, nothing like that,”.

Maddie pulled away and looked at him with narrow eyes as if trying to see if he was lying to her, “Okay,” Maddie relented, “Get some sleep, you look awful,”.

Buck let out a chuckle and ran his hand over his face, “Yeah…I bet I do…Night Mads,”.

“Night little brother,” Maddie called as she walked back into her room, “Sleep dreams,”.

======================================

Buck walked into his next shift at the 118 with two good night's sleeps under his belt and a spring in his step. Sleep has really helped make everything feel less daunting and he knew he had to stop trying to control everything so much and do what he can to help but at the end of the day let it be. These people may be his future family but they were still people who were going to make mistakes and be in pain and there was no way Buck could stop that. Just like there was no way he could remember everything that had happened the first time around. The best he could do was be there for them and support them.

Buck changed and headed up to the loft where he could see Bobby and Hen not talking to each other. Buck was not having that. Nope, his happy mood would be infectious today.

“Henrietta. My love, my life!” Buck greeted with the biggest smile he could, “Isn’t it just a beautiful day in the wonderful city of LA!”.

“Call me Henrietta again, you're going over the balcony,” Hen threatened him without an inch of a smile.

“Okay, then,” Buck said, moving to face his Captain instead, “Bobby. Captain, my handsome captain,”

“Are you high?” Bobby asked, deadpan. Buck clearly had his work cut out for him today, but if he could get a smile and laugh out of moody teenager Christopher then Hen and Bobby would be a piece of cake.

“No, I'm not high, high on life maybe?” Buck joked with a smile, “It’s a good day! I had breakfast with my sister, the sun is shining, I’m at my job which I love, with my amazing team! Life is good!”.

“Did you fall and hit your head?” Hen asked him, moving to try and check his pupils“Do we need to get you checked out?”.

Buck waved her away, “I’m in a good mood! You two should try it! What is going on with the pair of you? Do we need to sit down and talk it out?”.

Bobby and Hen were saved by Buck forcing them to sit down and talk it out by the bell ringing and them heading out to a call. Buck instantly knew which one this was and was glad it was a lighthearted call that no one was seriously hurt. The man was tangled up in the car wash with the hose in one of the sponges. Hen and Bobby clashed once again as they got him out and Buck wished Chimney was here to make eye contact with as they bickered.

Buck remembered this call and as soon as the guy was loaded into the ambulance he quickly went to find the owner who had shown up the tape. Like before the owner was more than happy to show Buck the video and luckily he still found it just as funny as the first time. The laughter coming naturally, Buck was definitely going to ask for a copy this time as both Eddie and Christopher would love this.

Just like before Bobby came in with Hen to see what he was doing.

“Buck, what are you doing?” Bobby asked in his extubated Dad's voice.

“Cap, you gotta see this,” Buck said before turning to the owner, “Play it again. One more time!”

“Buck,” his Captain's warning voice came out but the video was already playing.

“Wait for it. Wait for it….now!” Buck said pointing at the screen, he could see Hen was already beginning to smile.

“Buck, that man could have been seriously injured,” Bobby said but it was quickly followed up by laughter of his own.

“Listen, this is so... unprofessional. I'm not laughing,” Hen said through her own laughter

Pretty soon they were all laughing as they watched the video a couple of more times.

“Man. I have never seen you laugh like that,” Hen said to Bobby as they walked outside.

“Well, I wasn't always like this,” Bobby replied “So shut down,”.

“What happened, Captain?” Hen asked and Buck wondered if this was when Bobby would open up to them, he was sure it was around this time last time.

“I made some mistakes, and I... lost everything I cared about. And I moved forward by never letting anybody get so important to me that I had to go through that kind of loss again. But apparently, I'm not very good at it, because you and Buck here and Chimney have become that important to me,” Bobby opened up.

“I’ve lived like that,” Buck told Bobby, “On my own, not letting people in to keep yourself from getting hurt. People can’t leave you if you don’t let them in. It doesn’t work, that’s the amazing thing about people they surprise you. You’re important to us too, Bobby,”.

“Just let us in, Bobby,” Hen added, “It will be okay when you do,”.

“I'll tell you what. Let's get back to the house. I'll cook you a delicious meal” Bobby offered, “And I’ll introduce you to someone,”.

“Who?” Hen asked.

“Me,” Bobby answered.

Buck smiled. At least Bobby was opening up to him. He was learning he could not control everything and that people were unpredictable. However, at least things with Bobby were returning back to normal.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23 - Valentine's Day

Buck was very indifferent when it came to Valentine's day. Had several valentine’s days where the day had simply passed him by with no real occasion or fanfare. He sometimes got flowers from Maddie and Jee. There was one valentine’s day that Christopher had come home from school with cards for him and Eddie, Buck had loved that and he had cherished that card for years to come. It had lived on his fridge for the next two months before being added to the draw Buck had that had been full of things Christopher had given him.

Once he and Eddie got together they used Valentine’s day as an excuse to book a stupidly nice hotel room, have marathon sex, order room service and sleep in with a late checkout. Most of the time they never even did it on February 14th with their hectic schedules but rather whatever day they could both get it off work with a sitter for Chris. Last year their plans did not work out and they celebrated a month later on March 14th. It did not matter to either man as they did not particularly care for the day but liked the excuse to get away for a night and just be together.

Neither he nor Eddie cared about publicly showing off their love. They would be sweet and romantic together in the privacy of their home. Buck did not need a holiday to tell Eddie how much he loved him, once they got together he told him at least every day.

Bobby had once told him that valentine’s day can be pretty great if you have someone to share it with and Buck understood that more when fell in love with Eddie, but really he was here for any holiday which meant he had an excuse to kiss his handsome boyfriend.

So Valentine’s day was not a big deal to Buck. He did not care either way. The most exciting thing was the discount chocolate’s the next day.

However, this Valentine’s day was one Buck wanted to avoid. The first time around he had gone on a first date with Abby and ended up having an emergency tracheotomy and ended up in the hospital. Less than ideal that for sure. Buck had yet to end up in the hospital since waking up in the past and he was planning to keep it that way for as long as possible and that meant no dates on Valentine’s day where he could choke on bread.

There was only one major issue and that was that everyone in his life had recently become obsessed with his status as single. Suddenly it had become a massive thing that he did not want to date and everyone had a problem with that. The worst culprit was his sister, Maddie, who was very much in love with her boyfriend Dan and was planning a trip away for the whole week, heading to some remote snowy mountain cabin. Buck was happy his sister was happy, but it still made him uncomfortable to see her with someone who was not Chimney.

Maddie had been hinting more and more that he needed to get out there and date. It was not just Maddie either Marco had brought it up as well as Athena. Dan, Olly and Will teased him about his dry spell as they had unfortunately lived with Buck 1.0 and had seen the switch in him when he woke up in the past. Everyone in his life was obsessed with love life and Buck was getting fed up. It was more frustrating because he could not explain the reason he was not dating was because he was very much in love with his boyfriend who had not met him yet. That would not go down well.

Buck wanted this Valentine’s day to be as uneventful as possible. He had the night off as well as the next day and the 117 to himself with Maddie and Dan away so Buck was planning to stay in, have a few beers and watch Netflix and pass out on his extremely comfortable and expensive couch and he could not wait. He loved the 117 but as Maddie arrived just as he properly moved in he never really got to spend any time alone in his firehouse. Buck was looking forward to a night to himself.

Buck was actually more excited for today which was Chimney’s first day back and his welcome back party. Buck had not invited Abby this time around. Her crush was still there and Buck had to try to let her know he was not interested as nicely as possible. He had a good time when they had dinner but that was more to do with him being so happy to see and spend time with Carla more than Abby herself. Buck had invited Maddie and Dan but had been told by his sister that Chimney had already invited her, it seemed that in this timeline they had become friends and swapped numbers just like before and Buck had no idea what to make of that.

Buck was excited to have the team back together.

He was hanging out by the firetruck when he saw Chimney walk in.

“Hey man!” Buck smiled as the other man walked up to him with a smile of his own, “Welcome back!”.

Buck did not give Chimney a chance before he pulled the man in for a hug. Chimney hugged him back before pulling back and saying, “You missed me, Buck?”.

Buck really had, “Nah, Hen’s just insufferable without you. Can’t work nicely with anyone else and don’t tell her this but she scares me,”.

Chimney laughed at that and Buck was happy to hear that sound.

“Don’t worry you’d be a fool not to be scared of Hen,” Chim joked back.

Chimney was quickly spotted by the other members of the 118 and greetings and hugs were going around. They all made their way up the loft for food and cake as Athen, Dan and Maddie had now arrived.

“I’ve locked up the 117,” Maddie was telling Buck as they were waiting for Bobby with the cake.

“We’ve got our cells but we aren’t sure what kinda reception we will get up there,” Dan added on and Buck was really feeling like he was being treated like their child.

“But I've sent you the address of the cabin and we will be back on Sunday evening, but I could be quite late,” Maddie finished off, “There is food in the fridge,”.

“But no milk,” Dan added, as Maddie shot him a confused look, “I used the last of it for our coffees. You’ll need to stop and pick up milk on your way home, Buck,”.

“Guys,” Buck said as he raised his hands and laughed, “I’m an adult and I’ll be fine without you for a few days. You go and have an amazing time!”.

“I’m sorry,” Maddie said and she did look sorry before a grin came across her face, “I just wish you had someone you could invite over. I’d feel better if you had plans…which is why I set you up on a date for Valentine’s day!”.

“Welcome back, Chim,” Bobby called as he brought the cake over and everyone cheered in celebration causing Buck to stop his conversation with Maddie.

“Thanks! You guys!” Chim told him as the sound died down and everyone turned to Chimney. “Seriously, though, everybody, uh, one thing I realised while I was gone is that, uh, I really need you people, like I need a hole in the head!”

“Oh! I cannot deal with you!” Hen said with a burst of laughter. Buck knew that Hen had missed her partner most of all. Hen never worked well without Chim, she had been the same when he had left to find Maddie. She chased off every new partner until Bobby had enough and hired Jonah and Lucy and that had not ended well.

“Place hasn't been the same without you, Chim,” Bobby said, seriously “You're the heart of this firehouse. I'm glad to have you back,”

“Thanks, Bobby,” Chim said with a nod to their Captain.

“Hey, you had a lot of people praying for you, not just this department, either,” Athena told him.

“Well, I think somebody was listening. Even the doctors kept using the word "miracle." I guess if you're gonna have a piece of rebar that's sticking through your skull, that's the way to do it,” Chimney responded happily with a shrug.

“All right. Let's light you up so you can make a wish,” Bobby announced “All right. All right, who's got a match?…Really?…Firehouse and nobody's got a match?”.

Bobby made his way downstairs to grab a match and Buck turned his attention back to his sister and her boyfriend.

“What date?” Buck asked them, already stressed about what they had done. Why would people not leave him alone?

Dan holds his hands up, “Don’t look at me! This was all them!”.

“Them?” Questioned Buck, really worried about who his sister had been working with, “Maddie, I don’t need you to set me up,”.

“You told Buck about the blind date then,” A voice said and Buck turned around to see Athena standing behind him. This was not good. Very Very not good.

“Athena,” Buck whined, this was really not good, “You’re in on this?”.

“Your sister is right,” Athena told him with a pat on the arm, “You need to go out and meet someone. You are in a rut and we have helped you out of it. I picked your date myself so trust me and go and have a nice time,”.

“But…” Buck tried but Maddie cut him off.

“No!” Maddie told him, “You are going on this one date. That’s all I ask. One date and then we will leave you to love life alone,”.

Buck looked between Maddie and Athena, “Both of you. I got on this one date and you’ll back off?”.

“Promise,” Maddie told him.

Buck sighed, one date. That would be okay. He could do it once and then wait for Eddie. One Date. He could do that. How bad could one date go?

---------------------------

The next day Buck’s shift had finished and he was changing at the firehouse before he went to the restaurant to meet his date. Maddie and Athena had refused to give him any details on his date which had been frustrating, he did not even know a name. He hoped that they were decent, someone who would enjoy a nice dinner and be okay with it being the one and only time they went out.

Every instinct in Buck’s body was screaming at him that this was wrong. He wanted to call and bail but he did not have his date’s number. He would have to call Athena and she would not let him go without a really good reason.

Buck did not want to date anyone who was not Eddie. Eddie was the love of his life. He wanted to date him, going on dates with Eddie had been fun and relaxed and always something Buck looked forward to. This date he was dreading. He did not want to go and he felt like going on this date was a mistake. He was getting more and more worked up by the second. He felt warm and overwhelmed.

“You okay, Buck?”

Buck turned around to see Bobby walking into the locker room.

Buck nodded at his captain as he messed around with some of the things on the shelf in his locker.

“Because you don’t look okay,” Bobby told him, “Are you nervous about your date?”.

Buck sighed, walked away from the locker and sat down, “More like dreading it. Hey! Want me to stay and work! Someone must want to go home and be with their significant other!”.

He could call Athena and say he had to work, that would work as an excuse.

Bobby shook his head, “No, we’re good. Chimney is excited to work and I'm good here. Now, what’s going on?”

“My last first date…I really thought it was going to be the last first date I ever would have to go on, ” Buck confessed, he knew as soon as he got together that they were it for each other. Each first with Eddie was his last first, “Never thought I’d have to do this again,”.

Bobby nodded and Buck knew the older man would understand, “What happened?”

I woke up in the past and he does not know who I am, Buck thought.

“I lost him,” Buck settled on, not a lie but not the truth. He stood up and put on his dark grey jacket. He had gone for a dark shirt and pants with a lighter jacket, no tie, “I miss him so much, I turn to tell him something and he’s just not there. I keep expecting him to be there.”.

Buck turned and looked at Bobby who looked just as sad as Buck felt, damn. Buck had not meant to bring Bobby down and make him think of what he had lost.

“I don’t think i’m ready for this,” Buck carried on, speaking more for Bobby, “But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready…Guess I’m dipping my toe in the water..allowing myself to open up the idea of meeting someone again of having a person again…a family…baby steps,”.

“That’s a good way to look at it,” Bobby said as he stood up and moved in front of Buck to fix his collar, “Just go, talk to your date. Get to know them and relax Buck, you look like you are about to jump out of your own skin. Take a breath,”.

Buck nodded and did as he was told, “Bobby, tell me I can do this and that it will be okay,”.

“Buck, you can do this,” Bobby told him and Buck had to give him the credit as he sounded like he meant it, “And everything is going to be okay,”.

“Thanks, Pops,” Buck said with a smile, he still did not feel great about going on this date but he felt better after talking to Bobby, “Guess I gotta go and take that leap,”.

“Good luck, kid,” Bobby wished him as Buck walked out of the changing room and to his jeep.

Buck drove to the restaurant and arrived nearly twenty-five minutes early and had to wait. It was a nice restaurant, not too fancy but still nice. Italian with a lot of low light. Romantic. A good first date spot.

Buck hated he was on a first date. Like he had told Bobby he had already been on his last first date with Eddie and it had been perfect. They had gone to a fancy restaurant, hated it and ate burgers from a food truck instead before going home and playing video games with Chris. It was perfect. Best date of his life. Buck had no interest in any other date, he had no interest in any other person.

He belonged to Eddie. Eddie was his person. This whole thing was stupid. He should just leave. Go home. Stand his date up. Who cared, she wasn’t his soulmate. His stupid soulmate was in Texas with no idea who he was. Life sucked and love sucked.

Buck sighed and drank some water. This date was going to be a disaster with the mood he was in. He needed to buck up, operation buck up Buck was clearly needed.

“Hi Buck,” Abby said, and Buck looked up at her in shock from where he was sitting at the table. She was wearing an off the shoulder black dress and was here at the same restaurant he was having his blind date…oh…she was his date…Athena and Maddie had set him up with his ex-girlfriend who did not know she was his ex.

Buck officially hated Valentine’s day.

“Hi Abby,” Buck greeted as he stood up, he wanted to walk out but that would be rude, “So I’m guessing you're my date,”.

“Surprise,” Abby said, making a gesture with her hands. As Buck stood up and pulled out her chair for her to sit down before resitting himself, “Is this okay?”

Buck wanted to scream that no it was not okay and that he was very much not interested in any form of romantic relationship with her instead he just smiled and said, “Yeh, I mean I was kinda worried about who Athena and Maddie had found, but at least I know you,”.

“You do,” Abby confirmed with a nod, “We’re known each other for a while now and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, Buck,”.

Buck swallowed, he did not like this, “I have to,”.

“So not a bad surprise?” Abby asked and Buck could not answer that question honestly.
Buck really did not want to be rude but he felt like she was pushing. He took a sip of water before shaking his head, “No, it’s unexpected…Look Abby here is the thing my…”.

“Can I get you a bottle of wine for the table?” The waiter asked, interrupting Buck who really just wanted to get this out and say it. The wine was good though, wine helped, “Sure, Abby do you have a preference?”.

“Red is good,” Abby answered with a smile.

The waiter held out the menu to Buck but Buck did not take it, “Look I could take that thing and pretend to look and that I know what any of it means but I really have no clue. So any midrange bottle of red is fine with me. That's good with you Abby?”

Abby smiled even brighter, before looking a little embarrassed, “Yep, sounds good,”.

The waiter looked at him like he was crazy but he nodded and said, “Very well, sir,” before walking off.

“Sorry, but I know nothing about wine,” Buck told her, “To me, a $10 bottle tasted the same as a $100 bottle. I’m not very sophisticated,”.

Abby laughed, “That’s good, you don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. That’s impressive for someone your age,”.

Buck wondered what she meant before he realised his age to her, “Guess I’m just comfortable in my skin,”.

The waiter came back with the bread and the bottle and poured them each a glass. Buck quickly took a sip.

“I need to be honest about tonight…” Buck said, needing to get this out.

“Okay,” Abby said wearily and Buck hated doing this. He just focused on how much she had hurt him and how little explanation she had given him with no apology. He owed her nothing but the truth. He could tell the truth.

Buck took another sip of wine and grabbed some bread to butter, “Abby you are great. Really and I want you to know this is all me. I’m not ready to date someone…anyone. In my last relationship I was so in love with him and those feelings are still there. I’m not over him and this is not fair to you,”.

“It’s not me it’s you,” Abby joked and Buck could see he had hurt her.

“I meant what I said when we first met, I wanna be friends but I also meant it when I said that’s all we can because I’m not ready for anything more and I don’t think that’s changing any time soon,” Buck told her, “I’m really sorry,”.

Abby nodded and there was tension in the air. Buck gave her a minute. Not wanting to push. It was valentine's day and she was expecting romance and instead she got rejected.

Buck drank some wine and ate some bread. It was the second after the bread went down his throat he realised his mistake. He could not breathe.

Cough. Cough.

Abby looked up at him.

His airway was closing.

This was bad. Choking. Bread. Valentine's dinner. Date. Abby. Mistake.

Buck could not breathe. This was bad.

He could not think. His airwaves were closing.

Breath.

Breath.

Focus, Buck.

His vision was going blurry and he heard Abby cry out and then someone grabs him and starts doing the Heimlich manoeuvre on him. That would not work.

Buck was not breathing.

He felt the world go dark and he fell backwards.

He really did hate Valentine’s day.

Buck woke up, his vision was blurry but he could breathe. He blinked and looked up and saw Eddie.

Eddie was kneeling in front of him. Right?

Buck blinked again, no it was a waiter. This was his brain playing stupid tricks on him just like that time he had thought Will was Eddie.

His brain was showing him what he wanted to see most in the world. It was the loss of oxygen.

It did look like Eddie.

Buck could breath, “ed…iide,”

“It’s okay, Buck,” a voice whispered in his ear as his eyes closed, “You're okay,”.

Eddie! That was Eddie’s voice! Buck opened his eyes and looked around but now all he could see were paramedics loading him onto a gurney. It sounded like Eddie.

Buck felt an oxygen mask be placed on him and he was being loaded into an ambulance
-----------

Buck opened his eyes to find he was in a very familiar location. A hospital bed. So much for his lucky streak of not ending up in hospital. It had been a good run that had to end sometime. He was never going out for dinner on valentine's day ever again. His throat hurt. There was no one with him.

Buck tried to remember what happened. He had choked again but something went differently.

He had seen Eddie again. At least that was something.

“Ah, you’re awake,” A nurse said as she came into his room.

“What happened?” Buck asked, his voice raspy and barely above a whisper.

“You choked, honey,” The nurse told him as she poured him a small glass of water, “Small sips okay, let’s get you sat up,”.

“My throat?” Buck asked, as the nurse got up upright and then handed him the water.

“Your airway closed up and you stopped breathing,” The nurse explained, “Your girlfriend called 9-1-1, but luckily for you, there was a medic in the restaurant and he performed an emergency tracheotomy and most likely saved your life,”.

“A medic?” Buck asked, remembering what had happened more clearly now. The man who had looked so much like Eddie. I could not have been him, could it?

“Yep,” The nurse confirmed, “Nice young man, came with you in the ambulance to make sure you were okay. He seemed really worried about you,”.

“Name?” Buck asked, his voice still low and scratchy.

“Oh I think he said his name was Eddie,”.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24 - There you are.

“I need to get out of here,” Buck mumbled, he was feeling drowsy but he still tried to get up and move till the same nurse who suddenly looked a lot like Maddie eased him back into bed. His heart was fuzzy but the one thing he could think clearly was Eddie. Buck needed to find Eddie.

“Well with the drugs you are on, you aren’t going anywhere, hotshot,” the nurse told him, as she got him to lay back down in the hospital bed. Buck wanted to fight here, but his body was slowing down and he was overcome with tiredness.

“Maddie?” Buck asked, he could hardly keep his eyes open, “I need to go…I need Ed..”.

“It’s okay,” she told him, “Rest now, Sweetheart,”.

Eddie was Buck’s last conscious thought before the darkness. He needed to find Eddie.

---------------------

The next time Buck woke up his brain was working a little better, less fuzzy. He sat up and instantly recognised the familiar setting. He was in a hospital bed. The sun was just setting, how long had he been asleep? Why was he in the hospital?

Suddenly the events of last night came rushing back to him. The blind date, Abby, the restaurant, choking, the tracheotomy, the man who looked like Eddie and the nurse saying it was Eddie. Had it really been him? Buck needed to find out now. He needs to find that man who had saved his life. Could it really have been Eddie? How could that be possible? Eddie should not be in LA yet, he should still be in Texas. Had Buck done something that had messed up the timelines that it had reached Texas?

Buck moved a little, trying to sit up. His throat was dry, but his pain level was not too bad. He needs a drink and to get out of here.

“Hey kid,” a familiar voice said, “Easy. Take it easy,”.

“Bob..” Buck tried to say but his throat was too dry to get his captain’s full name out, “Wat’er”.

Bobby seemed to understand what he was asking for as a cup with a straw was in front of him a few seconds later.

“Small sips, okay Buck?” Bobby instructed and Buck nodded and took a small drink. He felt the cold liquid go down his throat, it burned a little at first but it cleared up the dryness. He waited a second before he took a second sip.

“We’ve tried to call your sister but have not been able to reach her,” Bobby told him and it took Buck a second to process Bobby’s words. As Bobby gave him another drink of water.

“Don’t,” Buck said, his voice clearly but still scratchy, “I’m okay?”.

Bobby nodded as he gave Buck another sip “You’ll be okay. The guy who did the tracheotomy was a medic and knew what he was doing. Saved your life. The doctors said they will release you in the morning. A week’s recovery and then you can look at coming back to work, might be some light duty for a couple of days, we’ll have to see,”.

“Don’t call, Maddie,” Buck said as he sat up fully and took the cup off Bobby so the man could sit back in his chair. His voice was clearer now. The pain was dull and bearable.

“She would want to be here,” Bobby argued, and Buck knew he was right but he did not need Maddie here right now, there was nothing she could do, in fact, she would stop him from doing what he needed to do, “She’s your sister,”.

“I’m okay,” Buck said after taking another drink, his voice sounding stronger, “She needs this trip and… I’m okay. No point calling, she’ll be back in a few days”.

Bobby looked unconvinced but he nodded, “You scared me, kid,”.

“Sorry,” Buck mumbled, already feeling tired, but he needed to focus. He hated that he had scared Bobby. That Bobby had to come and sit by his bedside again, though he supposed this was actually the first time, “Told you the date was a…bad…idea,”.

“Easy on the talking,” Bobby told him, but Buck saw him chuckle and was glad that the frown was off Bobby’s face. Buck never liked it when he made Bobby worry and unfortunately it was something he had done a lot.

“Thanks for coming…Cap,” Buck mumbled as he closed his eyes, “Tired…”.

“You can sleep,” Bobby told him, taking the water expecting Buck to lay back down.

“Go home, Bobby,” Buck told him, making sure his voice was clear.

“I can stay?” Bobby offered and Buck loved him for that but he needed him to leave.

Buck shook his head, “Just wanna sleep…thank you…for coming, Bobby. It means a lot that you came here”.

Bobby nodded and stood up, “Call me if you need a ride home tomorrow,”.

Buck nodded, “I’ll get Will to pick me up,”.

“Okay, glad you are okay, kid,” Bobby told him, “Call me if you need anything and remember to be off work for at least a week,”.

“Got it, Cap,” Buck said as he lay back down and closed his eyes

Buck heard the door shut as Bobby left and he counted to sixty in his head before he sat up quickly and pressed the call button for the nurse.

“Look who’s awake!” a friendly nurse came in a few minutes later. Buck thought it was the same nurse from last night but given the state, he was in could not be sure. He remembered at one point she had fully turned into Maddie, they must have given him the good drugs.

“I’d like to be discharged please,” Buck said with a friendly smile. Being friendly got you what you wanted a lot of the time.

“In the morning, Sugar,” she told him, coming over to check his vitals, “Just wanna keep you for observation,”.

“I’d like to go home tonight, please,” Buck told her, taking another drink of water, “I’ll sign whatever you need me to say I'm leaving against medical advice, I would like to sleep in my own bed”.

The nurse looked put out and argued with him, but Buck just smiled and spoke calmly and clearly to get what he wanted. It was something he had learned in his thirties that it was a better way to get what you wanted rather than being dramatic and pouting something which he specialised in his twenties.

The nurse was tough and made him get cleared by two doctors and drink water before letting him go and only after Buck promised he had someone to look after him. She also made him promise he would be careful and come back for a check-up in a couple of days. Buck promised her that he would be smart and careful.

He got dressed and luckily still had a charge on his phone. He needed to get out of this hospital now. He left his room quickly after signing the discharge papers. He took the lift rather than the stairs knowing his energy levels would be dropping fast.

Buck looked around the lobby, before deciding what he was going to do, he would follow his instinct. Opening the uber app on his phone Buck put in a familiar address and moved to wait outside.

The fresh air helped ease the anxiety he was feeling. It was like every nerve in his body was standing on edge. Buck took a deep breath and tried to control his hope levels. His head was spinning and his vision was still fuzzy. He took a drink from the water bottle the nurse had given him and that helped ground him.

The uber arrived and unlike normal Buck did not say a word. He got in the back seat and opened the window to keep in the fresh air. He felt nauseous. Buck focuses on his breathing and not trying to hyperventilate on the drive over. The drive was familiar to Buck, one he had done an uncountable number of times, they still arrived a lot sooner than he expected though.

“Thanks,” Buck mumbled as he got out of the Uber.

Buck stood on the street front in front of Eddie’s house. Eddie's house had become Buck's house as well. Buck had lived there when he and Eddie started dating but it had already been a home to him for years before that.

He had avoided this area of LA for months. He had not been here since that day when he had first woken up in the past and drove her without thinking. He was here now though. Standing right outside the place that he had felt the most at home in his whole life. The place he had lived with his family.

The last time he drove away. This time he walked up the path and stood at the front door, it was still the wrong colour.

Buck took a breath and knocked.

He knocked on the front door before he could rethink this whole idea and run away.

Buck waited.

A light clicked on and Buck’s heart jumped out of his chest as he heard footsteps approach the front door. His heart felt like it was to jump outside of his chest.

Buck held his breath and the door opened.

There he was. Eddie.

Buck left out the breath he was holding at the sight of Eddie Diaz.

Eddie Diaz stood in front of him, young and beautiful and most importantly alive. Eddie Diaz was alive. The love of his life was in front of him. He looked so young and so alive. Buck could see his chest moving up and down as he breathed. Eddie was breathing, he was not doing that the last time Buck had seen him.

Buck looked at him, taking him all in. He thought he could just stand here and look at the man in front of him for the rest of his life. Time could freeze right here and Buck would be perfectly content to just remain here.

After all the months of dreaming and longing for Eddie. He was right here in front of him and it was better than Buck had ever imagined.

“Hi,” Eddie said, breaking the spell that Buck had been under.

Shit, he had rang Eddie’s doorbell and just stared at him, not a great first introduction.

Buck opened his mouth to say something and explain but instead, he just said, “Hi,”.

His eyes never left Eddie’s for a second. The two men just locked in a gaze.

“I’m Evan Buckley…,” Buck told him, his voice weak and shaky, he did not know if that was down to having his throat sliced open twenty-four hours ago or down to Eddie standing in front of him, “You saved my life yesterday,”.

Eddie nodded and Buck cursed him for being so quiet and leaving Buck to talk, it was not like he had a plan when he came here. Hell, he was not even sure that Eddie would be the one to open the door.

“Guess I wanted to come by and thank you,” Buck carried on talking. Smooth Buckley. Really great first meeting with the love of your life. Way to make a good first impression.

Buck swore he used to be good at this, but it was Eddie and if he made a mistake this could change everything. Just being here giving Eddie a new first meeting between them could change everything, “Sorry it’s so late…guess I couldn’t wait…”.

“Come on in,” Eddie said suddenly and Buck was taken aback but nodded. Eddie led him through the house and Buck noticed how much like a home it felt. It was so familiar. It actually looked more like the house when he and Eddie had shared it rather than when Eddie first moved to LA.

Buck remembered the last time he had been in this house, the day Eddie had died. They had been running late because they were still getting used to a new routine without Christopher there in the morning now he was off at college. Buck could see them rushing out the front door, Eddie laughing at something Buck had said and Buck pulling him in for a quick kiss before they left the house. That was the last time he had been here. It felt like a lifetime ago and yet also like it was yesterday.

Eddie walked into the kitchen and Buck quickly followed him, shaking himself out of the memory lane he had got stuck in for a second there. Eddie stood by the fridge, “I’d offer you a beer but…water might be a better idea?”.

“Thanks…” Buck whispered, his throat was dry and water would give him something to do with his hands…his nervous energy.

Eddie handed him the water and their fingers touched as Buck reached out to grab it. The spark was there and neither man moved their hand away. They just stood there with a bottle of water in between them.

Buck took the water and drank half of it in two big gulps. Eddie’s eyes never left him as he did. Eddie was looking at him like he might disappear at any moment, just like Buck was looking at him.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked him after Buck finished drinking and Buck could hear the concern in his voice.

“I am,” Buck confirmed “Thanks to you. You saved my life,”.

Eddie nodded and Buck could not believe what was happening. He was here talking to Eddie and Eddie was looking at him like he knew him. Was this possible? It couldn’t be? Could it? Eddie could not know him, not unless it was…it was his Eddie? Could that be possible?

Buck looked at Eddie, holding his gaze and he saw something and he just knew. This was him, his Eddie. Eddie was here.

“Eds?” Buck whispered, letting out a breath, “It’s you?”.

Eddie blinked and when his eyes reopened Buck could see the tears in them. Eddie looked like Buck felt, like the impossible was standing in front of him.

“Buck…” Eddie whispered and Buck knew. This was his Eddie.

A small smile broke out on Buck’s face before he launched himself at the other man. Eddie met him halfway and the two men fell into each other's arms. Clinging to each other. Holding each other tightly as they might never let go.

“Eddie…Fuck,” Buck said as he held on tight. He knew that he was shaking, “It’s you! You’re here. It's you…it’s really you! You’re my Eddie!”.

They did not let go of one another but their legs did give out and they fell to the ground. Buck clung to Eddie on the kitchen floor. There were tears on both of their faces. Buck could feel Eddie holding on to him just as hard as he might disappear any second.

Buck pulled away, still holding on to Eddie but needed to see his face, look into his eyes, see him talk. Prove that this was real and not some drugged up dream and that he was actually still in the hospital.

Buck looked into Eddie’s brown eyes, “You died, Eddie!”.

“I just woke up here. Months ago,” Eddie answered Buck’s unasked question, “In Texas…I remember the fire and…dying but I woke up,”.

Buck nodded, “I woke up here and I was alone…I thought I’d gone crazy…I thought your death had sent me mad! You died, Eds…you left me!”.

“Oh Baby,” Eddie whispered, pulling Buck even closer, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…I’m here. We’re here…we’re together,”.

Buck let Eddie keep whispering words of comfort when he realised he had not kissed him.

Buck pulled back again but this time moved in close, crashing Eddie’s lips into his own. Eddie instantly kissed him back. They kissed and cried and for a moment everything felt okay. Buck felt so alive. He carried on kissing Eddie with everything he had. Letting himself sink deeper and deeper into Eddie. Buck thought that kissing Eddie would fix everything that he could just keep kissing him till the world made sense.

Eddie broke the kiss and was about to say something but instead, he leaned back in a softly kissed Buck’s lips again and again. He pulled away and then kissed him again, “I miss you, Buck,”.

Buck leaned his forehead against Eddie’s, “I miss you, too,”.

“Buck,” Eddie whispers like it was a prayer before kissing him again. Eddie kissed him slow and deep and climbed into Buck’s lap like he was trying to get as close to Buck as possible. Buck was very much on board and responded happily, wrapping his arms even tighter around Eddie and trying to pull him even closer. Buck thought he might never be able to let go.

As great as kissing Eddie was, Buck had to breathe the kiss for air and also to look at Eddie to make sure he was really there and not dreaming, “You’re here, you’re alive,”.

Eddie nodded and kissed him quickly once more, “I can’t believe it either…Buck,”.

Buck just wanted to look at Eddie, he could stare at him forever. This was real. Eddie was here, not just Eddie, but his Eddie. The Eddie he had lost, the Eddie who had died. Some magic had let him have his Eddie back.

Eddie seemed just as amazed as Buck as his hands held Buck’s face, one hand softly stroking the side of his face, paying attention to his birthmark as he quickly pressed his lips to it. Buck just let Eddie touch him and feel that this was real. They were real, they had each other again.

Eddie’s hand trialled down to his neck and when they reached his throat Eddie’s eyes widened at the bandage there, “You’re hurt…you should be in hospital,”.

“Eddie..” Buck sighed and ducked his head slightly, not wanting to tell Eddie he had left the hospital against medical advice. That was already going to be an argument once Bobby and Maddie found out, “Did you really think I was going to stay in hospital once I knew it was you who saved me…”.

“Buck,” Eddie said, in a ton that Buck had missed but still hated hearing.

“I’m okay, Eddie,” Buck reassured him, “The doctor was only going to keep me till morning for observation. Besides I have the medic who saved my life looking after me”.

“I could have lost you,” Eddie told him and Buck wanted to argue back that he had lost Eddie, that Eddie had gone and died on him but that was an argument he did not want to have right now. In fact, it was something he never wanted to think about again. He had Eddie back and that was all that mattered.

“I’m okay,” Buck whispered, “You saved me. You were there and you saved my life…why were you there?”.

This time Eddie’s head ducked and Buck could see a blush fall all over Eddie’s face. Buck just stared at Eddie’s bright red face. He had not thought about why Eddie was there on that day.

Eddie pulled Buck closed, burying his head in Buck’s shoulder as he mumbled an answer. Hugging Buck and dropping kisses to his neck and collar bone. Buck knew this move, this was Eddie trying to distract him and Buck was almost tempted to let him. Almost.

“Eddie,” Buck promoted, pulling away so he could look Eddie in the eye.

Eddie groaned, “I may sometimes check in on you…”.

Buck frowned before a grin on his face appeared, “You’ve been stalking me!”.

“No!” Eddie responded outraged at the implication, moving closer to Buck.

“You’ve been following me!” Buck told him, a burst of laughter coming out after it, he just felt so happy, “For how long?”.

“Couple of months,” Eddie admitted, smiling brightly at Buck, “Just keeping an eye on you, making sure you were okay. Staying out of trouble. Just occasionally going places I know you might be,”.

“That’s called Stalking, babe,” Buck told him with a grin, “You’ve been stalking me, that’s adorable,”.

“You have a habit of getting into trouble,” Eddie pointed out, “I don’t normally get too close, I don’t go inside places you go, I just need to see you, catch a glimpse of you. See you were okay…”.

Buck nodded, he understood that “I can’t tell you how many nights I spent trying not to search your family members online, just for a glimpse on,”.

“I’ve never missed anyone the way I missed you,” Eddie told him and Buck couldn’t believe Eddie was here and talking to him. Eddie was here. “Was like a part of me was missing,”.

Buck nodded, “I know”.

He pulled Eddie in close again, wanting to comfort his partner. They had both been going through the same pain apart. They had both been suffering without the other.

“How come you came into the restaurant?” Buck asked, and Eddie pulled a confused face, “You just said normally you tried to keep your distance,”.

Buck saw a dark look cross his face and then a scowl which remained there, “You were on a date with her!”.

Ah, Abby. Abby had always been a sore spot for Eddie. Eddie hated her, which Buck could understand he was not the biggest fan of Ana Flores himself. Eddie however could get a little possessive over Buck and as well as that he was also protective. So Buck’s ex-girlfriend that had carelessly broken his heart was the worst person to Eddie. He hated her. Taylor Kelly was also up there, but Buck had hurt her just as much so it was not the same thing.

“Which I thought was because you had no idea who I was!” Eddie exclaimed a pout on his face, “But now it’s worse because it was my boyfriend going on a date with his evil ex!”

Buck tried to not roll his eyes at Eddie calling Abby evil, “Eds..babe, it was a blind date. I had no idea it was Abby. I turned her down, I don’t want to date anyone but you,”.

“So no more dates with people who aren’t me,” Eddie told him with the pout still on his face.

Buck leaned in and kissed the pout right off his stupidly handsome face, “Only you,”.

Eddie nodded and kissed him back, slowly. Buck happily kissed Eddie. They were still sitting in one big mess tangled together on the kitchen floor, kissing. Tears drying on their faces. If anyone would have seen them they would have looked insane. Buck felt insane. He could not believe what was happening that Eddie was here right in front of him, in his arms. Life had given him Eddie back.

Buck had never thought that Eddie had also woken up in the past. Buck wondered if they had both woken up at the same moment and been sent back together after the universe messed up by separating them by killing Eddie. If Buck had known he would have driven to Texas right away, he would have driven through the night to get to Eddie. Eddie was here now.

Buck laughed, “You’re real, that’s going to take some getting used to. How are you here? How is this possible?”

Eddie shook his head,” I just woke up. I went into that house fire and…then I woke up back in Texas, in my old apartment and Chris was this little boy…”.

“Chris!” Buck exclaimed his eyes quickly looking down the hall to Chris’ bedroom.

“He’s with Abuela,” Eddie told him before Buck got up and ran down the hall, which Buck was ready to do.

“I need to see him,” Buck told Eddie eagerly, “Christopher,”.

Buck was crying again at the thought of seeing and holding Christopher. The other great love of his life. Buck had missed Chris just as much as he had missed Eddie. They were his family and he missed them so much.

Eddie wiped Buck’s tears and promised him, “You will! I’ll take you to meet him,”.

“He won’t know me,” Buck sniffled, the thought breaking his heart.

“He won’t,” Eddie confirmed, “But he’ll love you. Christopher adored you from the start. He may not know who you are but he’ll know you and he’ll love you just like before. No way that will change,”.

“He’ll be so little,” Buck cried, pulling Eddie close for comfort, “A little kid,”.

“I didn’t know what was going on,” Eddie confessed, “I woke up to this little kid climbing into bed…thought it was one of Maddie’s twins at first…I could not believe my eyes when I saw it was Chris. He was so small. I just held him close to me…skipped school and work that day and just cuddled with Chris. My parents loved that,”.

Buck groaned at the mentioned, “Oh no, you had to deal with their overbearing criticism,”.

“Yep,” Eddie said with a grimace and a nod, “Think I shocked them when I stood up for myself and with how confident I was with Chris. We left Texas not even a month after… I haven’t spoken to them in a while. Things were said, it’s tense”.

“How’s Chris?” Buck asked, looking at Eddie with excited eyes, taking everything Eddie was saying in.

“He’s…amazing! It’s so odd overnight he went from a college kid to a little boy again,” Eddie gushed, “He’s this excited little kid again, that lets me pick up and carry him about, ”.

“I’ve missed him so much,” Buck confessed, “I kept almost talking about him and you…it’s been so hard, Eddie,”.

“I know,” Eddie agreed, “We’re together now and I’m never letting you go again. You are stuck with me now,”.

“Good,” Buck agreed, learning to kiss Eddie once more, stuck with Eddie was just where he wanted to be. His perfect place. He had no problem or argument about that. Kissing Eddie on his kitchen floor was just where he wanted to be. They kept kissing and repeating the same conversation, reassuring each other that this was real, they were there and we were not going anywhere.

Eventually, they moved from the kitchen floor and into Eddie’s bedroom where they continued to kiss as they undressed each other. Sex with Eddie had always been beyond good, they had natural communication and the ability to read each other with no words being needed. This felt familiar and brand new at the same time. The feeling of something they had done so many times before that they knew what the other one wanted, needed in each moment.

Being together felt like coming home, it grounded them. Made it feel real, reminded them of how they belonged together, belonged to each other and how they would never be torn apart again. This was forever. Buck needed Eddie as he had never needed him before. Needed him to prove that this was real. That they were really together again that they had not lost each other. Just been separated for a time and now they had found each other again and Buck would never let anyone take him from Eddie again.

Buck told him as much as they lay cuddled up in Eddie’s bed together, warm and keeping each other close.

“I’m never letting you go,” Buck mumbled into Eddie’s skin. This felt so right, like coming home after years of being away “You realise that right?”.

“I’m okay with that,” Eddie agreed, feeling the same way like missing piece had fallen into place finally, “Think we might shock a few other people,”

Buck chuckled, “Yeah, I've been telling everyone for months I'm not ready to date and now I'm gonna surprise them…”.

“How’s the team?” Eddie asked, and Buck realised Eddie had been missing half his family just like Buck had been for months on end before he had been able to join the 118.

“Everyone is okay, it’s weird though, they are so young. I forget how much we all changed, I mean I know I did. I grew up massively but Chim and Bobby are so different as well. I tried to stop Chim’s accident…well I did, but it happened the next day instead, he’s okay…back at work now,” Buck answered, rambling a bit as he tried to catch Eddie up, “Hen’s wonderful, so young, it’s been weird working with her again after all this time. Bobby’s closed off…but he’s been opening up slowly. That’s been hard”.

“I missed them,” Eddie answered sadly as listened to Buck’s words “I would see them every now and again when I was…”.

“Stalking me,” Buck cut in and Eddie pitched his side, “Ow!”

“Keeping an eye on you,” Eddie corrected with a fond smile, “Which I clearly needed to do,”.

“Your lucky Athena did not catch you,” Buck teased, that would have been hard for Eddie to explain, “You know how protective she gets,”.

“Athena doesn’t like you yet,” Eddie told him in a matching teasing tone.

“Not true, I met her earlier this time” Buck explained, “We became friends before I ever joined the 118,”.

Eddie sat up slightly at this, moving out of their embrace in order to look at Buck with a stern gaze, “Buck, how much have you changed?”.

Buck tried not to look too guilty, “Well…not too much. Like I said I think certain things are fixed events that will happen no matter what we do, like Chim’s accident, but I’ve saved people, Devan, the kid from the roller coaster. He’s alive, Eddie. I saved him! And I've made some rather smart financial moves which will be good for us. Oh and Maddie’s here she’s dating my friend Dan who’s started a construction company from my…oh I bought a…”.

“Maddie’s here?” Eddie asked, overwhelmed by the information dump but focusing and the biggest change, “You got her away from Doug early?”.

“I didn’t mean to!” Buck confessed quickly, not wanting Eddie to think he went and got Maddie but did not go to Texas for him, “I didn’t drive and get her. She turned up and then Doug turned up and now he’s in a coma…”.

“You put Doug in a coma?” Eddie asked, and Buck could see stress and worry growing in his partner as his brain went into overdrive thinking of what happened.

“What? No!” Buck answered and then added as an afterthought, “Chimney did that,”.

“Chimney?” Eddie asked, he was really confused about what was going on.

“It’s kind of a long story…I had a Christmas party and Doug showed up and ended up holding Maddie and Dan hostage and Dan got shot and then me and Bobby walked in and we were all being held at gunpoint,” Buck told him, “It was a whole thing! - but Chim saved the day and wacked Doug over the head and now he’s in a coma,”.

Eddie stared at Buck in shock as he took in Buck’s story that Buck had told in a much too casual manner for Eddie’s liking. Buck let out a small smile and Eddie’s mouth dropped open before he exclaimed, “Trouble magnet! You could have been killed, Evan!”.

“Was not ideal,” Buck agreed with a nod of agreement, “Shame you weren’t stalking me that night, could have come in and saved the day. My hero,”.

“Dios Mio,” Eddie said with exacerbated fondness towards the man he loved, “You aren’t worried about everything you’ve changed…you are messing with the past…”.

“I was worried about meeting you and getting you to fall in love with me,” Buck confessed, moving back to wrap his arms around Eddie, dropping a kiss on his shoulder.

Eddie wrapped his arms back around Buck pulling him close again, “That’s what you were worried about, baby? Me?”.

“Well you are kind of the love of my life,” Buck pointed out with a grin and a quick kiss on Eddie’s lips. Eddie caught up before he moved away and kissed him again, letting the kiss get deeper and then sink into one another “Mmm…yeah…was worried about not getting to do that with you, but other than that I just wanted to help people. Save people. Keep our family away from the pain they went through the first time,”.

“You need to be careful about changing things Buck,” Eddie warned, “Your actions have consequences,”.

“I know, but we can’t sit back and let bad stuff happen. You’ve changed things, you are in LA when the first time around you had not left Texas yet,” Buck explained, “And there is no way you were planning on sitting back and letting my leg gets crushed? Or letting me and Chris go to the pier or you get shot…”.

“Okay!” Eddie cut him off, he did not want a full list of every traumatic event they had gone through, “You’re right, of course, I wasn’t…it’s just complicated…time travel, I never thought it was possible,”.

“Tell me about it,” Buck agreed with a hum of agreement, “You must have changed something. You can’t have kept everything the same,”.

“Well no..” Eddie agreed, “I moved here and got Chris into his school, found Carla on my own this time because I could not do this with you and her… and oh! There’s Shannon…”.

“Fuck… you are married!” Buck suddenly remembered moving away from Eddie and getting ready to jump out of bed. In the excitement of seeing Eddie, he had forgotten about his wife! Shannon was alive and they were married and he and Eddie had just had sex! Oh no, he had slept with a married man, this was not…

“Buck!” Eddie yelled with a laugh as he sat up and reached for Buck to pull him back down, “We’re divorced. I divorced her…I couldn’t be married to someone who…”.

“Someone who?” Buck promoted and he let Eddie drag him back into the bed.

“I couldn’t be married to someone who wasn’t you,” Eddie finished and Buck melted into Eddie, letting his body fall on top and allowing Eddie to take his weight as Buck kissed him slowly and deeply.

“Really?” Buck asked with a shy smile, as he pulled away ever so slightly to look Eddie in the eyes.

Eddie nodded, “You’re the great love of my life as well, Buck,”.

Buck teared up at Eddie’s words and leaned back to kiss him, “I love you,”.

“I love you too,” Eddie told him, “So much…There is only ever going to be you for me, no one else even comes close,”.

“Such a romantic,” Buck said with a smile as he kissed Eddie again. They had not kissed this much since they first got together but Buck just could not stop himself and he seemed like Eddie felt the same.

“Just for you,” Eddie whispered, “It’s all for you. I woke up and I could not stay married to Shannon…not when I was in love with you…I only wanna be your husband,”.

“Is that a proposal?” Buck asked Eddie with a grin. They had spoken about getting married before but they always thought there would be time for that until their time ran out. Now they had time again.

“If you like,” Eddie said with a shrug, “Is that a yes?”.

“I’d marry you tomorrow if you wanted to, Eds,” Buck promised before he leaned in for another kiss, “I’d marry you every day for the rest of our lives. I’ve lost you once, not happening again,”.

“Should properly let you meet Chris first before the wedding,” Eddie mused.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Buck agreed, with a laugh, “We’ll do it though, get married, maybe have another kid, grow old together. Everything we lost,”.

“Two more kids,” Eddie answered as he pulled Buck even closer so they were fully tangled together and you could not tell where one man ended and the other began.

“Two more?” Buck asked with a smile as he reached down for the comforter to cover them both up.

“Yeah, I want two more kids with you,” Eddie confirmed as Buck wrapped them both up, safe and warm.

“We can do that,” Buck agreed, closing his eyes and snuggling into Eddie, as he imagined the life they could have together. All the things they would get to do together that they had not got around to the first time. No more wasting time, “I’ll have as many babies as you want,”.

“We’re going to do it all,” Eddie promised, “A full life together. We’re going to be so happy. No wasting time. Just years of being together. Of being happy. A full life. We’ll do it all this time, I promise,”.

“I like the sound of that,” Buck mumbled, falling asleep.

Hours later Buck woke up suddenly with a jerk so strong it woke Eddie, who had always been a light sleeper up with him. Buck sprang up, sitting up in the bed, desperately trying to get a breath out. Buck held his breath before releasing it and then taking three more deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

“Buck, you okay?” Eddie asked, sitting up to follow Buck, stroking his back. The pressure of Eddie’s touch, plus the repetitive movement helped ground Buck and remind him where he really was.

“Nightmare, it’s stupid,” Buck confessed, leaning back against Eddie, moving his hand to Eddie’s neck so he could feel his pulse. Eddie was alive.

“Tell me,” Eddie prompted as he kissed Buck’s neck in comfort.

Buck could feel Eddie, he was there. He was alive.

“You died, Eddie. You went and died on me,”. Buck cried and he felt the tears leave his eyes, “You left me behind, you were gone,”.

“We’re here. We’re together now,” Eddie mumbled into Buck's hair, moving to press a kiss to the top of his head before he pulled him in even closer “I’m here. I know it took us months to find each other but we did and Evan I would have found you the second I woke up here if I knew…I would have come to find you if I knew,”.

“That’s not what I was talking about,” Buck confessed, his voice so soft and hollow, it barely even sounded like him, “You died and left me. I had to bury you, Eddie. I had to plan your funeral and tell your son you weren’t coming home. You died in a stupid house fire call out that we had done a hundred times. You died too soon, too young. Me and Chris were left behind,”.

“I didn’t know,” Eddie breathed out and moved them so he could look Buck in the eye but so they were still wrapped in each other's arms “I didn’t know Buck. I woke up after I…died. How long before you?”.

“A week,” Buck told him as Eddie kissed away his tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Eddie whispered and Eddie looked truly devastated about the information he had just found out, “I’m so sorry you had to do that…I can’t imagine having to go through that…You had to bury me,”.

“It was a good funeral,” Buck sniffed wiping his face, “Everyone came, but we were upset to lose you…The team, our family. Christopher…everyone was so lost…I don’t think I was alone for a second”.

“Christopher…I left him,” Eddie realised and that devastated him, “And you had to tell him…”.

“I did,” Buck nodded, remembering the moment, how Christopher had nodded and tried to hold it together before he broke down and cried in Buck’s arms, “You’d have been so proud of him, Eddie. We looked after each other, me and him. Harry and Denny rallied around him. I love that kid of yours so much,”.

Eddie sniffed, “I’m glad you had each other. I’m sorry…”

“I know, it wasn’t your fault, it was just a stupid accident,” Buck replied, “Think that made it all the worst…it was so stupid. Your death was stupid. I kept thinking of all the time we wasted, years of not being together. We wasted all this time and then you were gone only after a couple of years together,”.

“We’ve got that time back now,” Eddie promised, grabbing Buck’s hand and lacing their figures together, “We’ve got time now,”.