Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

Hojo’s Hubris

“Here’s what you asked for, boss,” Reno said as Tseng saw the redhead deposit a stack of numbered and coded binders on his desk, the redhead sounding more relaxed and chipper than he needed to be.

He could feel his headache growing as he took in just the amount of material he needed to go through. At least it was all collated and organized by date and not by the individual. He was going to need to take in everything in order to make his report to the President concerning the recent events, an undertaking he wished was someone else’s task. 

“Thank you, Reno. Are our guests comfortable for the time being?” he asked.

“As comfortable as they can get considering the circumstances. I don’t envy them at all,” the redhead responded, “I kinda feel sorry for them.”

“That is all, Reno,” he said, dismissing the younger man before giving the stack of binders a glance.

It was time to get to work.

---

5/11/01

I have received information on the newest applicants to the Infantry, including Strife [Specimen S-02] of Nibelheim. I have put in a requisition to have him be sent to me. I haven’t had much opportunity to determine what the N-098 Gene does, which is quite similar to the currently inactive U-268 Gene that Specimen S [S-01] carries. If the N-098 Gene proves to be more useful in its active state, it will likely prove beneficial to activate the U-269 Gene within Specimen S. 

---

Tseng frowned as he looked at the first page. He was going to need a trusted scientist to go over everything and explain just what these genes are and what exactly they did. With a sigh, he turned the page, seeing a disc and frowned before slotting the disc into his computer.

Apparently, it was a video file, which loaded up to a young man with blonde hair that made the man look like he was part Chocobo. He starts to speak quietly.

“Look, I’m from Nibelheim. I didn’t know how Midgar was like or how the Company operated. I just wanted to be a hero like Sephiroth,” the young man said.

‘So does about eighty percent of everyone who tries to get into SOLDIER, kid,’ he thought to himself.

“I didn’t understand what it meant when Hojo takes an interest in someone…”

---

Cloud looked down at his orders again. He was to report to Professor Hojo of the Science Department for some reason. He didn’t understand why Hojo wanted him and he was too fresh, too new to have heard any rumors. He hadn’t even completed his basic training yet. He took a deep breath as the elevators parted and he looked at the room number he was supposed to go to. He glanced around to figure out which way to go before striding down what he hoped was the correct corridor. 

He quickly found himself in a rather pleasant but cold office, staring down a man whose hair would probably drip grease if said hair was wrung out. Did the man ever take care of himself?

“You must be Strife,” Hojo stated with a grin, “from Nibelheim.”

“Yes. Sir. Professor, sir,” he’d stammered nervously, mentally kicking himself in his backside for sounding like a complete idiot. 

“Just call me Professor,” Hojo said with a smile that made his skin crawl. “I suppose you wish to know why you’re here.”

“Yes, Professor,” he said, his nervousness not abating.

“I merely wish to run some very minor tests on you since you’re a Nibelheim native,” Hojo explained, “none of them invasive and I can guarantee your health during this trial. I merely require you to report here during your meals. I will provide you with proper meals during your trial. At the conclusion, you will be free to go and I have little problem paying you for your time.”

“Considering the nature of the requisition form I was given, I have no say in this,” Cloud said nervously.

“Not at all,” Hojo said with a grin, “it’s nice to see that you’re not a complete idiot. Come with me and I will get you started.”

Cloud was led to a small room that looked like an examination room almost like one at a doctor’s office after having been measured and weighed. He sat on top of the table as Hojo scowled down.

“What was your diet like before joining?” the scientist asked.

“Ma and I were poor so we ate what we can afford, sir. She usually ate what I didn’t so I made sure to leave some for her as well,” he explained.

“That explains everything,” Hojo said with a sigh, holding his forehead with his free hand.

“Professor?”

“I will need to improve your nutrition and hope that you can recover from your long term malnutrition,” Hojo said with a frown, “I didn’t expect for you to be in such a state.”

---

“And then what happened?” he heard Cissnei ask gently, clearly showing her sweet and endearing side to win the young man’s trust.

“I reported in three times a day for meals and a shot. I don’t know what was in it but I can guess it turned me into what I am now,” the young man said with a conflicted expression, “whatever that is.”

The video ended and he put it back and turned the page.

---

5/15/01

With Strife’s requisition complete, I will be changing the specimen codes. What was formerly Specimen S will now be Specimen S-01 and Strife will be Specimen S-02. S-02 will get a gene therapy to activate his inactive N-098 Gene. S-02 is horribly underweight and shows clear evidence of lifelong malnutrition. If an enhanced diet formulated to make up for lost growth does not show the results I require, I may need to start a series of JS-095 on S-02 in hopes that it has the same effect as it has on subjects JS-14 through 18.

---

Tseng frowned at all the codes. He needed to know what JS-095 was and what the genes did. He knew that he was going to need to get his hands on a trustworthy scientist to give him that information as he turned the page, seeing a spreadsheet.

One column was numbers counting up by one starting with 0, the other was clearly weight, and the third was height. As the numbers on the leftmost column went up, he could see that there was evidence showing that after 30, both numbers went up - weight more quickly than height. Strife was gaining a lot more weight at that point but he’d seen the man. He was willing to bet that the weight was mostly muscle. From Strife’s file, he knew that at this time, Strife was still a growing teenager in his late teens, so the jump in height was expected.

He wondered just what was going on. He was going to have to figure out just how everything tied together.

---

6/05/01

Since the N-098 gene increased S-02’s growth along with a proper diet, I have decided to activate S-01’s inactive U-268 Gene. I await to see if S-01 shows a similar effect to having the gene activated as S-02 did.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

The Incident

To say that Sephiroth was feeling out of sorts since his last visit with Hojo was to put it very mildly, but it was also not unexpected. However, what made it far more troubling is that matters did not improve after two weeks. His legendary concentration was shot and his equally legendary control over his emotions had decided to vacate him as well. Which left him confused and very irate. Just what was going on with him? 

Unable to sleep, which was yet another annoying problem he’d been having, he decided to do his own research, looking for anything that would cause symptoms of lack of concentration, mood swings, and insomnia. As he moved from his bed and towards his living room, he paused. He frowned at himself as he suddenly, for some inexplicable reason, he was contemplating heading to his small kitchen to grab the chocolates that he’d developed a taste for thanks to…

No, he was not going to think about them again. That was always an unpleasant train of thought to go down, one which has played with his mood swings in ways that meant that he was liable to start crying. He couldn’t believe that he cried more in the last two weeks than he ever had in his life up to that point.

Just what was going on with him?

He shook his head to try to free himself of his thoughts and decided to simply go to his computer and research his symptoms. As he sat down, he let out a groan, feeling some discomfort. This was also unusual. If this had anything to do with something Hojo did to him, he swore he was going to make certain that Hojo got acquainted with Masamune. 

His abdomen picked that time to make another of its highly disturbing sounds as another wave of pain decided to follow. It didn’t always fit this pattern - some of the sounds were just that and sometimes the sudden waves of pain appeared without a sound. He pulled up a search engine and listed his symptoms, hoping to find something. He frowned as he got pages on each of the symptoms minus the abdominal sounds and many pages on premenstrual syndrome. He tossed out the possibility of premenstrual syndrome entirely because as a male, he was never going to suddenly start menstruating. At least unless Hojo somehow screwed up somewhere and if he had, it would have started during his puberty.

He felt overwhelmed with anxiety, beyond that which he felt made sense. He had no idea what was going on with him and his research proved to be inconclusive. However, he did not want to bring it up to Hojo unless he was certain it was absolutely necessary. Or if the pain he was in was worse than anything Hojo could do to him. He focused on a breathing exercise to ease as much of his anxiety as possible and made the plan that if he felt worse come morning, he would face down Hojo and demand answers.

He barely waited until the morning came. His skull felt like it was splitting open and he was certain that he had been lightly bleeding in a location he had no reason to - his perineum. This plus what he was certain was a fever made it serious enough that he had to go to Hojo as soon as he could. This was now urgent.

---

Tseng frowned as he saw the camera footage of SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth reporting in to Hojo, looking rather ill and uncomfortable. The SOLDIER was escorted to a room with a hospital bed in it and was given an IV of some kind. The footage then jumped two and a half hours to when Strife was scheduled to report in for breakfast. 

He watched as Strife stopped in his tracks and his body language changed. There was something strange with how the late teen hunched forward and moved his head like he was trying to determine the direction of something before bolting. 

Further camera footage was spliced, showing Strife’s path as he ran into the room that Sephiroth was taken to. The door was shut shortly afterwards and nothing could be seen for a while until Hojo ran and opened the door to the room wide enough that Tseng could see something he could happily live without seeing.

Sephiroth was receiving anal sex from Strife and both parties were clearly enjoying it. 

He wondered what exactly this had to do with the investigation. He paused as he realized that the angles were all wrong for anal sex.

---

6/23/01

Ma used to tell me how keeping a journal is important and she was right.

I don’t know what happened or why it’s happening but something happened.

I blacked out while I was going to report in for breakfast. When I came to, I was in one of the nicer examination rooms with a hospital bed in it and I had lost a day and a half. 

Every time I try to remember what happened, I

It’s so very hard to write it because what does this say about me?

I don’t remember anything outside of need and desire and pleasure. A part of me gets excited.

And also that scent. It smells wonderful. I don’t know how to explain what it smells like outside of saying that it smells like home.

And I need to find out more about this smell and smell it more.

---

Sephiroth came to in a room similar to the one he had passed out in. He had to hide his smile in relief. Everything seemed to be better now. There was no pain, no headache. Just a deep feeling of contentment along with a bitter pang of… was this a kind of emptiness? No matter. He felt much better now than he had been when he had gone to Hojo and that was a plus. It meant that Hojo knew what was wrong and had fixed it.

Within minutes, Hojo walked in. He knew Hojo all his life. He knew Hojo’s moods, as that was a necessary survival skill anyone who spent any amount of time under his scalpel had to develop and quickly. He didn’t know this mood Hojo was in. It wasn’t anger, nor was it disappointment, pride, or even joy. It was a new one and he did not like the fact that he had no experience to help him navigating this mood the man was exhibiting.

“How are you feeling?” Hojo asked, his voice unsettling in tone as it was a tone he’d never heard Hojo speak in.

“Well,” he answered with a nod, “all of my earlier symptoms appear to have ceased.”

“Do you remember anything from before you passed out?” Hojo asked as the man sat down with a clipboard.

“I came here because of my symptoms. I must have fallen unconscious in that bed and at some time, was moved to this one,” he answered simply, not wanting to speak more to Hojo than was absolutely necessary.

“What do you remember right after you were given an IV?” Hojo asked. 

He started to think. What had happened? He remembered laying in the bed alone and anxious, not knowing what was certainly wrong with him as his headache and abdominal pain was easing, likely thanks to what was in the IV. 

Then he smelled something. Something which made him seek out the source. Something that told him that he would be cherished and cared for. Something that eased all of his anxieties and fears. He remembered feeling warm liquid gushing out from between his legs in response as he moved into a more comfortable position as a deep ache started to form.

He remembered the ache being soothed by something that seemed to fit perfectly, causing so much pleasure that he had to step away from that memory lest he gave Hojo too much of a show.

“Just a scent and pleasure that soothed the pain I was in,” he answered, hoping that he hadn’t pitched a tent in front of Hojo.

“I see,” Hojo said lightly.

It was then that he swore he felt thick fluid flow between his legs and would have jumped and checked it out if not for the fact that Hojo was staring at him.

“What happened?” he asked with a frown.

“I’m still running analyses on samples I’ve collected, but it appears that you have developed… shall we say, something extra,” Hojo said almost amused before saying, “you appear to have somehow formed organs that have a startling resemblance to the female reproductive system. Possibly due to this, I have noticed that your original reproductive system appears to be shrinking.”

He couldn’t do anything but to stare at Hojo as the implications were being processed by his mind. He was something that had both sets of reproductive systems and the one he was most familiar with was shrinking. He… what was he? He was certain he was going to be ill. 

“How functional is it?” he asked, hoping that Hojo would just tell him he was sterile.

He did not need to be told that he could get pregnant, of all things.

“I still have to do much more research on the matter, and that will require you to report in once a day at a time of your choosing,” Hojo said with a smile.

He hated when Hojo smiled. It meant that he was plotting again. It meant that things were about to happen that he was not going to enjoy one bit. But he had no choice, since choices were something others made. His only capability to choose anything only involved the battlefield and logistics. When it came to Hojo, he had no choice. 

“For now, there is nothing more I can do for you,” Hojo said.

The trek back to his quarters was rather miserable. He was certain that it was leaking and he hated the feeling of whatever it was running down into his trousers. He was going to need to take a thorough shower when he got there and he’d have to research everything he could involving his new set of organs afterward. 

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

Facing Consequences

Sephiroth frowned as he stood in the shower. He had discovered what the fluid that had been leaking likely was and that had an implication he was not happy with. The fluid smelled and tasted like semen mixed with another fluid that was likely his own. That implication made it more difficult to stand as his mind reeled. Someone had… done that to him while… what exactly happened? 

If only he could remember, he’d know who it was and whether it was consensual or not. 

Since he was alone, he started to think back again.

He clearly remembered easing his aching and feverish body onto the bed after changing into a gown. He remembered getting hooked up to the IV and minutes later feeling the start of medical bliss thanks to whatever was in the IV, feeling his fever lessening with the pain. He remembered his mind anxiously running about, uncertain as to what happened and what was going on.

And then that alluring scent wafted into his nose. He closed his eyes, relaxed by that scent but also he was also more aroused than he ever felt in his life. As the scent became stronger, the more aroused he became until he felt some kind of fluid pour out from between his legs. He was far too focused on the scent to worry about that fluid. The scent promised acceptance and adoration, things he’d been aching for all his life except when he had believed that Angeal and Genesis accepted him and had been his friends. 

He had turned away from that scent out of fear then. Fear that it was all just going to be as illusory as his friendship with his so-called friends who abandoned him without a second thought, betraying him. This scent and its holder would simply do the same to him. And yet his blood boiled with an aching need for this scent and the one producing it. 

What bothered him at that point was the simple fact that he was whimpering. Was it out of his aching arousal or out of his fear?

It didn’t matter. He had sounded weaker, pathetic. And that was dangerous to him in the labs.

He remembered the scent subtly changing, enough that it felt soothing. As if it were promising him that he would be cherished and treasured and never hurt. He felt a hand caress his cheek and his fears and pain were wiped away, at least for a little while. 

The next thing he remembered was just the sensation of something warm delving into his new parts, which he was surprised were not aching with what he could remember. 

And then a blinding mix of pain and pleasure which completely confused his nervous system and made him more than swoon under the shower, forcing him to lean against the wall to keep himself from collapsing. As his mind cleared after the memory induced orgasm, he realized that the pain had come from a different location than the pleasure.

He would have to take a look in the mirror once he was done in the shower. 

As he took the handheld shower head in his hands and decided that he may as well rinse off the thing he apparently spontaneously formed. Perhaps that had been the source of the unsettling sounds his abdomen had been making. He inwardly cursed his troublesome fate as he realized that to properly rinse that thing off, he was going to squat.

Thanking whatever deities that existed that Zack Fair was nowhere near his apartment, he squatted and ran the water over that thing and nearly fell on his gluteus maximus. While it wasn’t anything like what little he could remember, it was too pleasant for his liking since he wanted to hate that thing. He carefully parted what almost felt like lips and sprayed the water in to wash out as much of the fluid as he could and nearly sank to his knees. 

He was going to demand Hojo undo what had happened.

He was also going to need to discover who that intoxicating scent belonged to. He doubted it was someone he was continually in the presence of or he would have smelled that scent ages ago. Once he did, he was going to need to discover exactly what they remembered of the incident. If that individual gave him an answer he disagreed with, it would be a simple matter of introducing them to Masamune. 

But there was something wrong. He didn’t know what it was and it was like a psychological itch. Like he was missing something. Like his body was screaming for something and he didn’t know what it was. He let out a breath. He mastered his body ages ago - he had to in order to survive Hojo and the labs. It was never in charge of him. 

Still, he couldn’t spend all day in the shower and ruminate on what happened. He needs to come up with a plan. 

Once he got out and was drying his hair, he caught a glimpse of… something on his neck, just out of sight. Moving to get a better look, it looked like he’d been bitten by something on his neck which had to have left quite the wound. It was on the back of his neck, just on the left side and easily hidden under his hair and usual duster. 

He may just kill that person for leaving that mark upon him.

---

Dread. He was certain that what he was feeling was dread as he let his mind process everything he had discovered in his research regarding the female reproductive system. From this research, he knew that he was not menstruating, but then what had happened? It was going to be another of those things he was going to need to find out and soon. 

He put in an order online for the supplies he was going to require as a new owner of that thing. Still, he felt like something was missing and he didn’t know what. His instincts were telling him he needed lots of soft things and that scent. It was going to be problematic to deal with these weird instincts he couldn’t remember ever having. A glance up at the clock told him that he shouldn’t even bother going to work today.

That gives him more time to work out a plan. 

---

Tseng was starting to piece everything together. He still wanted to see all of the pieces first. Once Sephiroth had been discharged from the lab, he immediately went to his quarters, getting a box delivered to the reception desk within hours. The box was received within a half an hour and brought into the SOLDIER’s quarters. 

The next time Sephiroth appeared was the next day…

---

It was five hundred hours sharp when he arrived at the labs for the daily tests Hojo required. He almost doubted that the scientist would ever tell him more than the bare minimum. Still, it was required of him and he had no choice in the matter. If he had a choice, he’d have gone to someone far more knowledgeable and far more trustworthy than Hojo. But he didn’t.

Fortunately, it was little more than a blood draw, a urine sample, and a sample which required him to lay on a table with his feet in an angle which allowed Hojo access to that thing. Everything took twenty minutes at most and left him feeling violated, which was to be expected when Hojo was involved.

---

The moment Cloud stepped out of the elevators at six hundred, he could pick up traces of that scent. His mouth went dry at the trace. He found that just the trace was enough to make him want to discover who it was and where they were at. He shook the impulse away before going to report in for his usual injection and meal. He made a mental note that whoever it was, they were an earlier riser than he was. And that it was definitely worth it to wake up earlier to try to find them.

---

He took a moment to relax once he was sitting behind his desk. He was away from Hojo and that fact was enough for him to let out a breath. Grimacing at the mess that had scattered itself on his usually meticulously organized desk, he knew his first task of the day was going to be organizing the paperwork into his usual piles. 

“You’re back!” he heard the cheerful exclamation from the door.

He didn’t need to glance over to know who it was since only one person on this floor could be so cheerful and exuberant at this hour. Angeal’s puppy and newest inductee to the prestigious rank of SOLDIER First Class, Zack Fair.

Still, it was pleasant to know that someone was happy to see him and he could tell that it was sincere. It was always sincere whenever Zack greeted him in the morning, a habit the boy started the day after he had confided in Zack that at one point, he had been on friendly terms with Angeal and Genesis. It was rather touching that Zack took time out to cheerfully greet him when the boy started his day.

And as always, Fair brought coffee.

He set down the paperwork to regard the cup. Same cafe as always and it was always something different since Zack was still playing his mostly amusing game of ‘find which flavor Sephiroth likes’. He had yet to encounter any flavor that offended him to the point of throwing it in the trash, so that was another mark in the boy’s favor. Sometimes, puppies should be allowed their harmless games.

He accepted the cup quickly, appreciating that Zack took a moment out of his morning to give him a cup of coffee and the occasional chat depending on Sephiroth’s mood. For the two weeks of irritable mood swings and general misery, he knew that he hadn’t been kind to the youth. He knew enough about human interaction that such events necessitated an apology.

“I’d be telling you that you look like shit as I have been over the last two weeks but… you look less like shit than you’ve been, so that’s something,” Zack said with a variety of emotions on his face.

It was one of the teen’s qualities that made him almost want to trust him, to let him in. Zack wore his emotions openly and no one needed to read his mind to know what was going on there - you just needed to give those thoughts time to reach his lips. He knew that it would be so easy to let the teen in the same way he had for Angeal and Genesis. But he knew that he shouldn’t bother - in time, even Zack would leave him.

“I do feel better,” he admitted with what he hoped was a polite smile and not one that he was told would terrify anyone who didn’t know him, “and I owe you an apology, Zack. I’ve been irritable and I’ve been taking it out on you and that has been unkind of me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zack said brightly, “I don’t know what you were going through but we all have our troubles and our moods and with what I know, it’s not surprising that you were stuck in a bad one. I’m just glad that you’re out of your bad mood and you’re back to your usual self.”

He forced himself to take a sip of the coffee rather than risk saying or doing something unwise. It would be far too easy to open up to the boy and let him in. He was already wanting to confide in him but this was something better off dealing with by himself. Better that than opening up and getting hurt because he’d fallen for the same trick, the same ploy. Angeal and Genesis’s departure taught him that important lesson, one that he had to admit that Hojo had been nagging him on since the scientist had learned that he’d befriended Angeal and Genesis - friendship wasn’t real and the moment they had no need of him, they would leave. 

The flavor of the coffee pulled him out of his thoughts as a sort of sweet bitterness reached his tongue. It was on the verge of being too sweet but it had enough bitterness to it to pull it back from being cloyingly sweet. Yes, this was adequate.

“What do you think?” Zack asked.

“It is saved from being too sweet by the presence of bitterness,” he stated evenly, “it is adequate.”

The teen let out a groan before frowning, “I’ll have to try again tomorrow morning then.”

He didn’t know whether it was socially acceptable to inform the teen that he looks forward to the next attempt. He certainly wasn’t going to inform Zack that he was excited about the prospect. Without him saying anything, Zack frowned at him in a way he’d never seen on the teen’s face, but that could simply be because he hadn’t experienced Zack’s full scope of expressions and moods.

“Listen, I know that things can’t be easy on you. With the desertion and trying to find Angeal and Genesis,” Zack said gently, his voice quiet, “but you’re not alone and you shouldn’t be. I’m not telling you that you should open up to me or trust me, but you need to talk to someone.”

He didn’t know how to react outside of giving Zack a nod.

“Promise me that you’ll talk to someone. I know everyone in SOLDIER has your back,” Zack said, clearly encouraging him, imploring him to do something he just couldn’t do.

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he said, hoping that such a statement would mollify the youth and end this uncomfortable and far too dangerous topic.

“Okay,” Zack said before his expression turned into his usual exuberant smile, “talk to ya later, Sephiroth!”

And with that, the puppy all but ran out of his office, leaving his usual brand of chaos in his wake.

---

6/24/01

I smelled a faint trace of that scent this morning. Whoever it was, they seem to be around the labs a bit before I go there.

I’m going to set my alarm earlier and see if I could find out who it is.

I had a dream last night. It had to do with the person who smelled so good. They were in pain and I wanted nothing but to soothe them. 

I wonder if they’re hurting in real life like in my dream.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Four

Close Calls

Tseng frowned as he looked at the array of data in front of him in the binder. It was all the results of about a week’s worth of tests, tracking Sephiroth’s hormone levels. Beyond seeing some lines in the graph go up and others go down and all of them having some sort of name to them, most of them were ones that he didn’t know what they were or what this information meant. 

What he did know was that he was starting to form many possibilities and many reasons why things turned out this way. And he was starting to understand.

But there was still so much to uncover.

---

Cloud cursed as his alarm roused him at oh-dark-thirty. He glanced at the clock, seeing that it was a quarter to five hundred. Just why had he set his alarm an hour early? He grumbled to himself, just quiet enough not to wake his bunk mates in the barracks. Most of them had simply groaned at the sound of the alarm. They paid no obvious reaction to his quiet grumbling.

Why did he decide to wake up an hour early?

Right. Because yesterday, he caught a faint whiff of That Scent and he needed to know who it was that he dreamed of since his blackout that day in the labs.

---

Sephiroth knew he should be on his way to the labs for his daily round of tests and samples, but he was occupied by the sheer fact that just the typical SOLDIER harness on his bare chest was almost painful. What was worse was when he slid the duster over his chest. It was almost like his nipples were on fire until he removed the duster. This would not do.

So this meant that he needed to problem solve. 

He was nearly an hour late to the labs after all of his attempts at solving his newest biological issue and one that he was not going to tell Hojo. After all, it was so minor and he was willing to bet that it was tied to the hormonal shift that had come from seemingly spontaneously growing a womb and all the accoutrements that came with it. 

He was in one of his sour moods again as the elevator doors opened.

Before he was fully out of the door to the elevator, he could smell it.

That alluring scent. 

He felt that part of him warm at the memories that scent were dredging up from the recesses of his mind. He found himself aching and yearning to rub that scent all over him, to bathe in that scent. To feel what that scent promised.

“Sephiroth?” he heard Hojo ask him, pulling him out from his daze. “Are you feeling well?”

“As much as I can considering the circumstances,” he stated, following Hojo to the usual examination room, “I hope to one day be rid of my… sudden issue.”

“I am still studying it,” Hojo said, “what has happened with you needs to be fully studied in order to understand the processes behind it.”

“Of course,” he said, knowing that Hojo was likely going to force him to suffer with this new burden for the foreseeable future.

“Are there any new symptoms I should be aware of? Such as why you are clothed differently than normal?” Hojo prodded.

Of course that man would pick up on the adjustment he had to make for the sake of comfort. He’d slipped on an undershirt and a buttoned shirt under his usual outfit. 

“I simply decided to alter my usual outfit as an experiment,” he said effortlessly, inwardly hoping that Hojo would leave it at that. 

“I know that I said that I would leave the timing of our daily appointments up to you, but I will be busy during the morning,” Hojo said pleasantly, “and I doubt you would feel comfortable with any of my assistants learning of your recent developments.”

Hojo was not wrong that he would prefer to keep his recent developments known to only a select few. If he had known what was going on that night, he would have just called in to work sick, however that would have forced him to report to Hojo. He found himself immensely regretting that Hojo knew of this. 

“How early are you available then?” he asked, doing his best to be polite for his sake, removing everything from his waist down for preparation of the most invasive of Hojo’s sample collecting.

“Eleven thirty,” Hojo said with a smile.

“Very well. I will be here then tomorrow,” he said as he got into position for his absolutely least favorite part of his day.

---

Cloud knew it was silly that he was getting worked up over his fixation on That Scent. A part of him hoped that the other person knew more about the time he’d lost. The other part wanted to know everything there is to know about this person. Whether they were happy, what they liked, if they would ever want to be around someone like him. A simple-minded country boy with no real skills except for getting himself into stupid fights. 

He knew it was even sillier to be walking without paying attention to where he was going while holding a cup of coffee that he had decided to splurge on. 

All he could do was yelp as he walked into someone. Someone who wore a black… sweater?

“Whoa! Are you okay?” the person asked, sounding not that much older than he was.

He pulled back to see a boy his age with black hair that was definitely spikier than his own. And the boy was wearing the uniform of a SOLDIER First Class. Oh crap. 

“I’m so sorry, sir!” he exclaimed, feeling his face turning hot.

“It’s okay,” the SOLDIER said with a chuckle, “accidents happen. And instead of calling me ‘sir’, you can just call me Zack.”

Cloud wished nothing more in that moment for the floor to open up under him and swallow him whole. 

“Is there anything I can do to--” he’d started to say before Zack interrupted him.

“Naw, it’s cool,” Zack said, interrupting him and clearly trying to comfort him before looking thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe there is something you can help me with.”

“What is it?” he asked, eager to make it up to this clearly nice person that Zack was proving to be.

“I’ve got a coworker I’m trying to befriend,” Zack said with a smile, “he’s really difficult to get close to sometimes and I feel that he’s keeping me at arm’s reach because he’s going through a lot of painful stuff and I think he’s afraid of getting hurt again. Every morning since he told me about what happened with what I think were the only friends he’s ever had, I’ve been bringing him coffee. Each time, I get a new flavor, hoping that I’ll find one he’d admit is his favorite.”

“That’s quite nice of you, Zack,” Cloud said with a smile, “which flavors have you tried?”

Cloud didn’t expect to hear the list of flavors he’d inflicted on this poor coworker of Zack’s. As well as the responses to each of the flavors. But what caught his attention was the fact that this mystery coworker didn’t like too much sugar to his coffee and appreciated some bitterness. And there was one that he could think of that Zack hadn’t tried.

“What about a dark chocolate mocha?” Cloud asked with a small smile.

“Eww,” Zack said with a frown, “why would I torment the poor guy? He’s got it bad enough without that.”

“Maybe that’s your problem, Zack. You’re going through the flavors you would try or like and not ones that you don’t,” Cloud offered with a small smile.

“Perhaps,” Zack offered with a nod, “worst that’ll happen is he makes a sour face and throws it away. Thanks for helping me.... What’s your name again?”

“Cloud,” he responded with a chuckle, “and I hadn’t told you my name before.”

“Right,” Zack said with a smile, “thanks for your help Cloud. See ya around!”

All Cloud could do was shake his head at the boy’s energy as Zack ran off to the line in front of the cafe.

---

Sephiroth was still in a sour mood when Zack arrived that morning with yet another flavor. As sour as his mood was, there was something about the ritual which eased it somewhat. He didn’t know what it was but it was pleasant. 

“Bad mood again, huh,” Zack stated as he walked into his office. “Well, I’ve got just the stuff. I even had help picking out this one.”

He merely raised an eyebrow at the boy as he accepted the cup. It was interesting that this time Zack had help picking, likely from the barista. He took a sip and pulled back in surprise. This was perfect. He could pick out the bitterness of the coffee and the bittersweetness of the dark chocolate. He knew that he had a taste for dark chocolate and had the sudden discovery that he also favored it in his coffee as well.

“Whomever had assisted you chose well, Zack,” he said with a small smile.

Zack merely stared at him in surprise. “You… like that?”

“I would have informed you that I tend to favor dark chocolate but determined that it would end your game sooner and I wanted to see how creative you could be. And I don’t mind trying new flavors,” he said with a smile before taking another sip.

“I guess Spiky was right,” Zack muttered with a grin, rubbing the back of his head, “who knew?”

“Spiky?” he asked, wondering if it was the appellation that Zack had bestowed upon the unfortunate barista.

“Yeah, I just met him this morning,” Zack said exuberantly before putting a hand just at his eye level, “yay high, blonde spiky hair that kinda looks like a Chocobo. Apparently is in the infantry based on his uniform. Also is my newest friend.”

“You’ve just met him. How can you claim him as your friend?” he asked, puzzled by how easily Zack would claim friendship with seemingly anyone.

“It’s not the length of time you know someone before you know you’re their friend, but the quality,” Zack said with a wide grin.

He wondered idly if that meant that Zack considered him a friend? Nevertheless, he had more pressing things to be concerned about.

“You okay, Sephiroth?” Zack asked quietly, giving him that frown again, “you can talk to me if you want.”

“I’m fine, Zack,” he stated before saying, “thank you for the coffee.”

---

6/25/01

I made a friend for once! His name is Zack and he’s a SOLDIER First Class. I helped him choose a flavor of coffee to take to his coworker. I hope his coworker isn’t Sephiroth. I think I might die if that were the case. And probably ask him all sorts of embarrassing questions.

I keep getting these dreams again. They’re not scary or anything but I never see anything. 

I wonder what they mean.

I missed The Scent this morning. I think I was too early.

I’ll get the timing right and find the source!

I just hope that they’ll like me. And they’re not a horrible person.

---

Cloud was in a mood that morning. He arrived at the labs at a time that was later than the last time but still earlier than the first time he’d caught The Scent. And nothing. He’d completely missed it for a second day in a row. 

What made his day worse was that he didn’t know at what point he’d lost his neckerchief, which meant that he was later than normal for lunch due to having to do additional laps due to his error.

When he finally made it to the labs, Hojo scowled at him.

“You’re late,” the scientist said icily.

“I had punishment detail. I couldn’t leave until it was over,” he explained with a frown.

“No matter, eat,” Hojo commanded.

---

Sephiroth let out a breath of relief as soon as the doors to his quarters were closed and he removed his boots. He had been carrying an object he’d found in the labs upon his arrival and made sure to immediately hide it before Hojo could see it. It was obviously the neckerchief belonging to the lowest rank of infantry, but that wasn’t what made it important to him.

It carried the scent that he’d been yearning for, regardless of what he kept telling his body and his instincts. It was evidence of who this mystery person who exuded such an aroma was. He carried himself and the fabric towards his bed before removing his usual outfit which has become far less comfortable than it usually was, leaving him in his newest style of undergarment. It was a disdainful reminder of what was going on with him. 

Much like the scent’s arrival. 

The scent was somehow linked to what had transpired, the moment everything had changed. 

And yet, he ached to keep breathing in that aroma. 

He brought the fabric up to his nose and took a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to keep breathing in the scent. That annoying ache was gone and that brought him a relief that was complete bliss. He knew what would make it even better.

He climbed into his bed where he’d succumbed to his instincts and collected every blanket, pillow, and soft item he had in his apartment and arranged it in a manner that pleased his instincts. He curled up in the circular formation of things and set the fabric near his face where he could keep breathing in the scent. 

If he wasn’t in a deep state of bliss, he would have been troubled by how blissful he was feeling and how all of his muscles completely relaxed to the point that he wasn’t certain if he could move if he wanted to. He knew that this was unusual but he was too overcome by the effects of everything to care.

---

6/26/01

I lost the neckerchief and I had to requisition a new one. I don’t know where I lost it but I traced my path from this morning and couldn’t find it.

I also completely missed out on catching The Scent.

I hope I didn’t scare them.

Better luck tomorrow!

---

Cloud stepped out of the elevator and sighed as he detected a somewhat fresher trace of The Scent. He must have missed the person by a very short time. Still, he was dejected enough to hang his head. And saw what looked to be a plain envelope next to a potted plant. Where the address would go was simply the question ‘did you lose something?’ in better handwriting than anything he could manage.

Before anyone could spot him, he slid the envelope into a pocket to read later when he had a moment. As was usual, Hojo merely led him to a table with his breakfast arrayed on a tray for his consumption and let him be. Perfect time to figure out what was in the envelope.

It was just a piece of paper which said ‘I found your neckerchief. I don’t know how to contact you to return it.’ Then it had a series of numbers which was clearly a PHS number along with the note ‘as I am very busy, it is best to text rather than call.’

He chewed his food while he put the number into his contact list under ‘finder’ before shooting off a text. 

Hi. You apparently found my neckerchief yesterday?

He watched, hoping to see any sort of indication that his message was at least read for a long moment before deciding that since the person was busy, it was best that he focused on eating until he got an alert, if he did. He only had to wait five minutes before his phone buzzed.

I did. I suppose you would like it returned.

It was interesting to discover that whoever it was, they seemed to be very polite and formal. At least to him. 

If it isn’t too much of a bother. You did admit to be busy.

The response was near instantaneous.

That I am. However, I do not wish to withhold your personal property under the excuse of being busy. I have at least one associate that I could call upon to return the item if I am otherwise occupied.

He idly wondered who exactly this busy person was who was somehow in the labs between the time he had been through for breakfast and lunch. If he was through the labs every day in the mornings, maybe he knew what happened during his blackout. It was worth asking.

If you don’t mind my asking, are you around the labs every morning?

---

Tseng looked at the chatlog with some amusement, realizing that this had been their first interaction.

C: If you don’t mind my asking, are you around the labs every morning?

S: I don’t mind. It’s actually a recent and regrettable development. Why do you ask?

C: Something happened earlier this week and I’m trying to piece things together. I was hoping that you had some answers.

---

Sephiroth stared at the screen of his PHS at the latest message his mystery person had sent. At least he knew he was contacting them, but the problem was that either they were lying or they were being honest. Was it possible that whomever it was was just as clueless as he was? With how Hojo tended to operate, it was possible. So was the possibility that this was a trap Hojo set up just to torment him. 

Was it safe to meet this person? Was it even sane to do so?

This person’s aroma on a piece of fabric had put him in a daze for some hours until his bodily needs pulled him back into reality. He was definitely concerned as to what the scent could do to him straight from the person who exuded it. As far as he was concerned, the individual was a walking trap designed specifically for him in the same way that people trapped insects using the lure of a scent they found irresistible. 

This whole situation would require finesse and the kind of mental acuity that he wouldn’t have access to in this individual’s presence. 

But what if this person was as affected by his scent as he was affected by theirs?

That was a possibility that he was going to need to test by using a third party.

He finally decided what his answer would be.

I might have some answers. Something I’m investigating happened in that proximity at approximately the same time. You are currently my only lead.

Whomever it was seemed interesting at the very least. He set his PHS down and set his mind on taking care of paperwork until he received the response. His PHS buzzed while he was in the middle of a form and finished it before he read the response.

You’re not a Turk, are you? I don’t want to disappear.

He inwardly laughed at the response. He could see how they could have leaped to that conclusion. He knew just how to respond.

Even if I’m not a Turk, I can still make people disappear. It’s just not as neatly as how they operate. However, I have worked alongside several.

He could have simply told them that he was in SOLDIER, but wanted to understand more as to how their mind worked. He wanted to see just how sharp they were.

Would I be wrong if I think that either sounds like something a Turk would say or that you are in one of the military branches?

Yes, his mystery person was fascinating and rather clever. He didn’t quite know if he could believe them. He was already forming a plan. 

You were correct on that second part.

He had long stopped focusing on paperwork. This was infinitely more interesting. As long as the paperwork got done and filed by the end of the day, there was no harm done.

If you were a member of the Infantry, you would have found me and approached me yourself unless you were very busy. However, unless they get requisitioned by Science, infantry have no reason to be around the labs. Which leaves the possibility that you’re in SOLDIER.

This mystery infantry was very sharp and knew at least the basics. And the fact that they mentioned being requisitioned as a possibility meant that they themselves were requisitioned. This mystery person was another of Hojo’s subjects but just on a long enough leash that they were either unaware or had simply accepted it. Which also meant that it didn’t clear up whether they were to be trusted or not and whether it would be a mercy to introduce them to Masamune.

You are correct. I would continue our guessing game and have you guess my class without using the process of elimination but that would simply waste both of our time. It is far more important to exchange what information we have concerning the event and to set up the delivery of your missing item.

The response was almost instantaneous and he had to hold back a chuckle.

You’re sounding awfully self-important for a Second Class. I can’t imagine Sephiroth allows such an attitude around him.

It was a rather amusing assumption to make and one he wasn’t insulted by since the infantry had no idea who he was. If the individual did, they were unlikely to make that kind of comment. It would be quite entertaining when this person discovered the identity of the person they had been texting with.

What leads you to think I’m a Second?

Easy. There’s only two Firsts and you don’t sound like Zack. If you were a Third, you were also far more likely to hunt me down to return the neckerchief. That leaves Second.

He had to admit that the logic held but he had instantly discounted him from consideration. Fascinating. He had to find out why he had ruled him out as a possibility.

And you’ve ruled out the possibility that you could be conversing with the other of the two Firsts why?

He knew he likely just informed him of his identity by such a query but he wanted to understand the logical leap this individual made. He normally wouldn’t reveal his hand like this but he was curious and he knew that his emotions had returned to swinging uncontrollably. Especially considering that his mind was starting to wonder what this mysterious member of the infantry’s appearance was like.

He’s far too busy to be texting some nobody like me. He’s got important SOLDIER stuff to do to even worry himself with returning some silly infantryman’s neckerchief. 

His emotions took a sudden turn as he took in the message and saw the self loathing in the infantryman’s words. He wanted to hunt this infantryman down and ensure that he understood just how much he was worth. He ached to drag him to his quarters and force the wayward male to acknowledge his worth. 

A little part of him became fearful for the infantryman entirely because he knew the kind of vile worm Hojo was. If Hojo ever discovered this man’s insecurities…

He forced that wave of unpleasantness down his throat.

Do not allow Hojo to see that weakness of yours. He will exploit it. When will you be available for the return of your neckerchief?

He felt that it was enough of a warning to keep the unfortunate infantryman from falling deeper into Hojo’s web. There was also the matter of returning the lost item that they seemed to be unable to focus on.

I am usually free for almost an hour when I have my lunch break. We can do the exchange then. Would the arboretum cafe work?

He smiled now that he had a place and time to send Zack with the neckerchief which he almost regretted having washed. But it had to be done since the scent was too intoxicating for him to spend too much time around. He needed to break his addiction to that aroma even if his body and instincts demanded otherwise. But he needed to see if his own scent had an affect on this unknown infantryman.

---

Cloud was rather anxious as he waited, sitting at a table near the arboretum cafe with his second cup of coffee he had yet to touch on the basis that he was wired too much as it was. What he managed to determine is that whomever found his neckerchief goes to the labs every morning starting recently and was obviously very intelligent and had some answers as to what had transpired earlier that week and was a SOLDIER Second Class. A part of him wondered if this person was the one who produced The Scent. 

He’d have pondered things more but his eyes latched onto someone who had just walked in. 

Zack.

What was Zack doing here? He saw the energetic first look around before seeing him and then waved at him before bounding over, reminding him of a puppy.

“Heya Spiky,” Zack said brightly, “say, do you know if anyone in your unit lost a neckerchief in the labs yesterday?”

His face heated up almost instantly as he hissed, “shush! I don’t want anyone else to know!”

There was something that ghosted over Zack’s expression before he sat down and spoke much more quietly, “what were you doing in the labs? It’s not exactly a fun place. There’s stories about them and not all I’ve heard are good.”

“Professor Hojo requisitioned me within a couple of days of my application into the Infantry was approved,” he said quietly, “I’m okay. I just get really good meals there and an injection every day right before dinner. Whatever is being used on me has made me grow like a weed and I kinda like the fact that I’m not always going to be a short weakling.”

“Just keep your wits about you, okay? I’m worried about you now,” Zack stated.

“Why? Because I go to the labs three times a day?” he asked.

“And because you’re my friend,” Zack said with a frown.

He couldn’t help but to scoff at that, “friends really? We hardly know anything about each other!”

“We know plenty. We both like this cafe, you helped me pick what turned out to be my coworker’s favorite flavor - which I’m very thankful for - and you’re clearly not a bad person. Just obviously not from around here,” Zack said cheerfully.

“That obvious?” Cloud asked.

“It’s easy to tell since I’m also not from around here,” Zack said before brightening and snapping his fingers as if he’d just remembered something, “I should probably do the errand said coworker asked me to do.”

“Wait, Zack. Are you saying that the one I helped you pick coffee for is the same one who found my neckerchief?” he asked in shock.

“Oh you’d be more than shocked if you knew even half the things I know about the guy,” Zack said with a grin, “but I was told not to, as he put it ‘disclose’ his identity to you. He was also very specific about how he wanted me to do this.”

“Okay, how does he want this to happen?” he asked, curious.

“For a reason that apparently only makes sense to his mind, he wants to exchange neckerchiefs. And wants you to do so with your eyes closed,” Zack said with a slight frown, “I admit that the guy can be weird from time to time but he’s not a bad person. I just don’t always know how his mind works.”

“Okay,” Cloud said, feeling a little uncertain but knew he could trust Zack - he really seems honest and friendly as he untied his neckerchief and closed his eyes.

He felt the neckerchief leave his hand moments before he smelled it, The Scent. But this was slightly different from the first time he smelled it. There was something in the depths of the scent, something which made him feel like the man The Scent belonged to was in some kind of pain and that created an urge to find who this man, this unknown SOLDIER Second Class was and comfort them and make sure that they were feeling better.

“Zack, I need to know who he is,” Cloud said, opening his eyes as he wrapped the neckerchief soaked in The Scent around his neck and tied it, “I… I don’t think he’s doing that great.”

“No kidding. Guy keeps putting up a wall of ice in front of me every time I tell him he needs to confide in someone - anyone - and he’s just being stubborn and scared,” Zack responded, folding up the neckerchief which had just been around his neck. “He warned me that if his hypothesis is correct, I’m likely to exchange neckerchiefs with you more times than this.”

“I know I’m going to keep texting him at least,” Cloud said with a frown, “because I agree. He needs someone to talk to.”

He just hoped that he could help this unknown man.

---

Sephiroth waited patiently for Zack’s return by occupying himself with the paperwork he’d neglected in favor of texting the intriguing infantryman. Perhaps Zack could tell him more about him, at least give him a name so he could do further research. After all, once he got his answers, all he would ever need to do is avoid this infantryman and simply scratch his scent related itch by having Zack work as an intermediary, assuming that his own scent affected him the same way.

Before Zack arrived, his PHS buzzed, informing him of a text and he didn’t even wait to read it.

What exactly did you do with my neckerchief?

This was all but confirmation that this infantryman could at least pick up some kind of scent from the neckerchief. He couldn’t even smell anything but his usual laundry detergent.

Why do you ask? I merely laundered it myself and had it on my person until I handed it over to Zack.

He would certainly never admit that he might have rubbed the fabric against his neck and chest to ensure that it would smell like him. 

I don’t know how to say this. I think you smell wonderful and there was something in there that told me that you are hurting and I want to comfort you. Zack’s right. You need to talk to someone - anyone. 

His rebellious mind that has seemingly decided to do things without his permission decided to give him quite the fantasy. A fantasy where he laid in bed, surrounded by that comforting scent as he felt hands gently run down his back as if he were a house cat getting stroked. Of knowing that he was accepted and truly cared for. His mouth went dry at that thought as he found himself aching for such an experience. 

I can’t. 

He wanted to open up to this man, to divulge what few memories he had of the incident and everything that has transpired before and since, but knew that he could never. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he wanted to find out who he was and where he was and drag him to his quarters simply to surrender to the comfort this infantryman was promising.

Why?

He dared not to give this unknown infantryman the full answer. It was rather silly to him that as much as he wanted to just get the information he wanted and avoid him for the rest of their careers, he still wanted some form of contact. That he wanted just one person to truly see him not as some monster the Science Department had fabricated and mutated, but as a person and to be accepted as such. As long as this infantryman was kept unaware of his identity, he could keep the masquerade up.

I can’t tell you that either. I apologize.

It was then that Zack arrived with a concerned expression. This was going to require his full attention, indeed.

“Something the matter?” he asked before Zack could speak once the puppy closed the door behind him.

“So the infantryman who lost his neckerchief was Spiky,” Zack said with a frown as he sat down on the chair in front of his desk, “but there’s a whole lot of things about him that worry me. Do you know what it means when someone has been requisitioned by the Science Department?”

“It means that they are ordered to do whatever the individual who has requisitioned them wishes without compensation or reward and could completely replace the individual’s original duties if the person who orders the requisition wishes,” Sephiroth said with a frown, “and the only ones who can order requisition of individuals are the President, Hojo, Scarlet, Tuesti, Palmer, and Heidegger. The one who orders requisitions of individuals the most is Hojo.”

“Sephiroth, that sounds disgusting. We’re talking about people, not property,” Zack said with a frown.

“In the eyes of the company, once you are employed, you become property. It is no more clearer of this fact when it comes to SOLDIERS. After all, have you ever wondered why there are so few retired SOLDIERs?” he asked carefully.

“Why do you sound okay with this? With the fact that the Company can do such things?” Zack asked.

He couldn’t help but to sigh. He was going to have to divulge some of his personal history to the Puppy. Not even he knew fully how the youth was going to react. 

“Zack, you need to understand this about me. I was born and likely created in the labs. I was raised in the labs to be what I am now,” he said quietly, “it is unavoidable that I would not see the issue as I was raised as Company property. My capability of having preferences and to voice them is a new development which required extensive training by Angeal and Genesis.”

He forced himself to look at Zack’s expression, expecting disgust. Instead, there was something sad and yet warm there. Didn’t Zack see him as a monster that he feared he was - he knew he was not human and his latest development was proof enough of that in his opinion.

“Sephiroth, I want you to stand up and not kill me for this,” Zack stated quietly.

He could see that it was going to be one of those times that it was best to simply entertain the puppy’s demands. It tended to be the least painful and time consuming that way. 

So he stood up and the moment he was standing at his full height, he found himself nearly knocked off his feet by what felt like a full body tackle from the Puppy. But there was more to it than getting tackled as he felt Zack wrap his arms around him as much as he could.

And of course, right that moment his erratic and nigh uncontrollable emotions decided to rear up and take control. He started crying even if it was something he’d rather not do, he just couldn’t stop the tears. The tears kept flowing as everything over the course of almost a year played out in his mind. Angeal and Genesis’s abandonment. The two weeks of misery which led to this horrendous situation. 

“It’s going to be okay, Sephiroth,” Zack said, stroking his back gently, “just let it all out.”

“My moods have been erratic and uncontrollable as of late. I apologize,” he said quietly, trying to keep all sobbing to a minimum.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’ve kept bottling things up for too long, buddy. Everyone needs a good cry every once in a while and you’ve needed this for a long time,” Zack said, clearly trying to reassure him. “You know what you need? A nice mission away from Midgar and everything.”

---

6/27/01

So I kinda met the man who has The Scent. I’ve only talked to him through text messages and he’s clearly a friend of Zack’s. He returned the missing neckerchief but exchanged it with the replacement. It even smells like him! 

It just sucks that he’s clearly going through a rough patch. I hope he would one day want to meet me after more texts. I also think he might be a little shy.

I’ve got orders this afternoon to prepare for my first mission in two days’ time. I’m being assigned to go to Modeoheim with what appears to be two SOLDIERs. I can’t wait!

---

Tseng didn’t know whether to frown or smile at how excited Strife clearly was in his journal entry in regards to the Modeoheim mission. He remembered that mission very clearly.

Because it all went downhill the moment the helicopter was shot down.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Five

Modeoheim

Cloud couldn’t help but to shift from foot to foot as he waited on the helipad for the rest of the team to show up at the muster point for the mission, which happened to be his first mission. He wasn’t aware of who exactly was assigned to the mission, just that it was a Turk and two SOLDIERs. The paperwork didn’t include class designation. He wondered if one of the SOLDIERs was the one he’d been texting, the one with The Scent.

The door to the helipad opened and he quickly learned who the two SOLDIERs were, one of which made his mind absolutely stop, only for his thoughts to become a mantra of ‘don’t freak out, Strife. Don’t do something stupid. Just play it cool. Like ice. Just play it cool, Strife. You’re a badass Infantryman. You can do this.’

He could have sworn he might have been close to swooning when Sephiroth gave him a polite nod in greeting with a small, polite smile moments before he snapped to attention, if only because he remembered that it was required.

“At ease, infantryman Strife,” Sephiroth said with a slight quirk of an edge of his lips.

He’d never heard Sephiroth’s voice in person before and he was surprised by just how deep it was, gliding through his ears like velvet. Seeing him in person, he had to admit that yes, he did practically ooze sex. And he had to keep his mind as out of the gutter as possible. He was definitely feeling fortunate that he was wearing the helmet so Sephiroth could only see the bottom half of his face. That way if he made a complete idiot of himself, he would just be dismissed as just another faceless Infantryman with the last name of Strife.

“Spiky!” Zack exclaimed, pulling his attention away from his childhood idol and very possibly the first crush he’d ever had in his life. “I’m glad that you could make it!”

“I didn’t know who was assigned to this mission apart from myself,” Cloud explained, definitely feeling nervous to be in Sephiroth’s presence.

“Listen, it’s normal to be nervous when on your first mission with Sephiroth here,” Zack said gently, “you bet that I was incredibly nervous and excited myself. But take it from me, the guy’s practically a big house cat. He’s even got the eyes to prove it.”

“Zack,” Sephiroth stated in a low tone, giving the other SOLDIER an obvious stern look.

“Anyways, my point is that it’s normal to be awkward at first but don’t worry about it. Everyone’s awkward at first around him,” Zack said with a grin.

Seeing how Sephiroth and Zack interacted definitely helped his nerves and helped him to start to get over the fact that he was completely starstruck. He just hoped that during the flight to Modeoheim, he could get over things and calm down.

As he had this thought, the door to the helipad opened again and what looked to be a Wutaian man in a dark suit walked out. His hair was tied up in a small ponytail and he clearly gave off the aura of being purely business.

“It appears that all of us are present,” the Turk said politely, “we should get underway as soon as possible.”

He followed Zack’s lead nervously as the four of them boarded the helicopter which had more than enough room for him and two SOLDIERs. As soon as the doors were closed, he was practically bathed in The Scent. 

Wait.

The Scent belonged to someone in the helicopter. But who?

He could rule out Zack since if he was the one with The Scent, he’d have picked it up ages ago. That left the Turk and Sephiroth.

It was then that his brain started to pull up what he knew. The Scent belonged to a coworker of Zack’s. Someone who he’d been trying to get to know better and had asked him for help to pick a flavor the coworker would like. And his pick had been the one that said coworker liked.

He did the only thing he could think of doing just to prove it once and for all.

He pulled out his PHS and opened the chat window for “finder” and sent a text.

Please for the love of Gaia, tell me you’re not in this helicopter.

He just about died when he saw Sephiroth pull out his PHS not even a minute later and looked at the screen, did something, and shot him what could easily be defined as an amused smile. His PHS vibrated in his hand.

Apologies, but I don’t wish to lie to you. You seem distressed. I recommend some deep breathing exercises.

He wanted to absolutely die.

He’d been texting Sephiroth over the course of the last few days without knowing. 

Wait.

Did that mean that the incident where he blacked out involved Sephiroth too? He wondered what Sephiroth could remember of the incident. But now was definitely not the best time to pool together the pieces each of them had.

But his brain continued to pull up things. Like how The Scent had a deep undercurrent of sadness when it was on his neckerchief. But now, The Scene was vaguely different. There was an undercurrent of sadness but also fear and anger and pain. If it had been anyone but Sephiroth, he’d move to sit closer to him and try to comfort him. But this was Sephiroth of the sword that was as long as his wartime body count. 

But Sephiroth was still clearly human with human emotions. 

If The Scent was specifically just Sephiroth’s scent, he wondered what he smelled like to the other man.

You don’t have to answer this but I have to wonder what I smell like.

He saw Sephiroth see the message and frowned slightly.

I lack the words to describe, but it is highly pleasant to me. What about mine?

A part of him was practically over the moon at the idea that Sephiroth enjoyed his scent as he enjoyed his.

Yours smell like home. Comfortable and cozy. However there’s undertones that seem to tell me that you’re feeling a lot of things right now like fear, sadness, pain, and anger. And all I want to do is comfort you.

He saw Sephiroth frown as his scent changed, telling him that something about what he had said had brought him pain.

Outside of a basic explanation, I have no true grasp of what ‘home’ entails, let alone what it smells like. I do not wish for your comfort.

Just that first part made his heart ache. Sephiroth never had a home? Something deep down stirred within him. Something which urged him that he should change that. What? Where in Ifrit’s blazes did that come from? 

---

One moment, Sephiroth was simply meditating in order to try to quell the maelstrom of unruly emotions when he heard a whistle from outside the helicopter following by a deafening explosion.

“We’re going down! I’m going to try to land us as safely as possible! Brace for impact!” Tseng exclaimed.

Without thinking, he grabbed the infantryman and curled as much of his body around the shorter man. He knew he could take far more punishment than an unenhanced human and he was willing to do so. The moment he’d gotten into a protective position around Strife, the helicopter impacted the ground with a deafening crash.

---

One moment, Cloud was aware that the helicopter was going down, the next, he found himself embraced tightly and held against something hard. When he came to his senses after the impact, he was still held tightly and whatever that was pressed at his back vibrated against him in a way that told some inner part of him that it wasn’t just not a problem but was cause for pride. He felt a face nuzzle his neck which allowed him to tell that who or whatever it was, it was purring like an overgrown house cat.

“Sephiroth?” he heard Zack ask, “I think you should let go of Spiky. We’re all safe.”

He felt what he was quite certain were arms tighten around him as the purr grew louder. The actions quite definitely was declaring ‘mine’. Like a child with a cherished toy. 

And it was clearly Sephiroth who was purring and holding him close.

At least until he heard a startled yelp followed by the arms letting go.

He looked around, seeing Sephiroth shake snow out of his hair with a frown, having already exited the wreck.

“I’m glad that worked,” Zack said brightly before approaching Sephiroth.

---

“Shiva’s tits, what the hell is going on with you?” Zack hissed quietly at him, “you were holding him to you like I’ve seen toddlers do with their favorite stuffed toy.”

If only he had the answer to that question. All he was aware of was the helicopter impacting the ground and then there was a snowball hitting him in the face and he had Strife in his arms. And his body was doing something it never had done before. 

It had clearly been a mistake to have gone on a mission with Strife. All he could do was keep his distance from Strife, hopefully positioned so that the wind blew that mind numbing scent as far from him as possible.

“I believe Hojo knows more on that topic than I do,” he all but growled irritably.

“Will you be okay?” Zack asked, his tone more concerned than alarmed.

“As long as Strife and I are separated in a way that keeps the wind from blowing his scent at me, I should be fine,” Sephiroth said with a frown.

It was then that something clearly clicked in Zack’s mind and he didn’t have the frame of reference to know if this was a positive development or a negative one.

“That explains the whole neckerchief thing. You can smell him and you wanted to know if he can smell you in the same way,” Zack stated before frowning, “and it’s because of something Hojo did to the two of you. But if that’s the case, why isn’t Spiky as affected as you are?”

“Another mystery that needs solving,” he stated as Strife pulled himself from the wreckage after clearly putting his mind in order.

---

Cloud was appreciative of the fact that Zack was making sure that there was plenty of distance between him and Sephiroth. He had no idea how to react or even process the fact that his childhood idol and crush had held onto him and was purring like a contented feline. But there was the fact that he might have gotten injured without Sephiroth holding him like that. It wasn’t too terrible since no one got hurt and there was something about that which hit him as rather sweet.

Still, it was odd that he’d started noticing that things were definitely off since the incident, specifically when it came to Sephiroth and his scent. But for the most part, the weird things only really cropped up only when smelling that scent. And when he dreamed. But it was going to need to be set aside until the mission was over and everyone was back in Midgar.

---

Sephiroth was thankful that Tseng had grabbed Strife and they were securing the perimeter while he and Zack were investigating the compound. He didn’t know what to do if he were to encounter Angeal or Genesis. What he did know was that with his mood the way it currently was, he was not going to have the patience to deal with Genesis’s theatrics or his rivalry. But where Angeal and Genesis were, Hollander was also. He could potentially use the fact that there was bad blood between him and Hojo in order to obtain the answers he sought when it came down to what was going on with his body.

They entered a large room and saw Genesis brandishing Rapier, clearly threatening Hollander.

“I’d tell you to stop, but I doubt you’d ever listen to me, Genesis,” he stated with a sigh.

Genesis whirled around, looking one moment like he was eager to resume their one-sided rivalry that he likely entertained far too much and for far too long. And then his expression changed.

“Shiva’s tits! What happened to you?!” Genesis exclaimed, “you almost look worse than I do!”

“Nice to see you too, Genesis,” Sephiroth stated before looking towards Hollander, “I may have need for your expertise, Hollander.”

“What for? Hojo not cutting it like I’ve always thought he would?” the disgraced scientist asked.

“I simply can’t trust Hojo and since you clearly detest the man as much as I do, I hoped that you would be easier to work with,” Sephiroth said, “however, the nature of my… recent difficulties require absolute secrecy and the fewest people who are aware of it, the better for me.”

There was something in Genesis’s reaction that told him that Genesis was troubled, but as always, hid his emotions under an overly dramatic mask.

“And so the Great Sephiroth joins our noble cause to destroy the world,” Genesis proclaimed quite dramatically.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Genesis. I merely require as much of a full physical exam as is possible in order for me to know exactly what is going on with my body. I have no desire to destroy the world. Although such a plan seems short-sighted, which is hardly surprising coming from you.”

“Pray tell, oh Great Sephiroth, what is the problem with my desire to destroy this world?” Genesis spat sarcastically.

“Easy,” he said simply, “you and everyone you care about live on this world. Assuming for the sake of argument that you are capable of caring about others whose names are not Genesis Rhapsodos.”

Genesis stared at him, clearly stunned before glaring at him. Genesis appeared to need a moment to collect his wits after his comment. The redhead finally let out a sigh and lowered Rapier with a frown.

“I just… it’s not fair. I’m dying and it’s this world’s stupid fault!” Genesis exclaimed.

“I’m starting to think you’re the lucky one between the two of us,” Sephiroth said dryly, looking away.

“You can’t be serious, Sephiroth,” Zack said with a frown.

“How would you know? You only know at most half of what I’m going through. What Hojo has done to me. As much as I could understand it,” he said, nearly growling.

“Holy shit it must be serious,” Genesis said in awe, “I’ve never seen your emotions this close to the surface before.”

“What do you care, Genesis? You and Angeal made it quite clear where I stand in relation to the two of you,” he said, unable to keep it all bottled up, “I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was only you who put on quite the performance of friendship, but Angeal must be even more skilled at theatrics than you are.”

Genesis stared at him, clearly stunned as Angeal entered from another passageway.

“I saw that Seph-- YOU LOOK HORRIBLE!” Angeal exclaimed the moment he saw Sephiroth and ran over to his friend.

“You can stop pretending, Angeal,” he spat angrily, holding Masamune in a stance where he could start attacking at any time effortlessly.

“What makes you think I pretended?” Angeal asked quietly, taking the stance of someone who was trying to calm someone down.

“Let’s start with the fact that neither of you bothered to even talk to me before running off! I thought we were friends and yet you abandoned me! You clearly didn’t care that the two of you made things…” he trailed off before putting his free hand on his face and laughed, “why do I even bother?”

“I told you, Gen,” Angeal said in a low voice, “I told you the moment you came to me that we needed to at least talk to him.”

“I refuse to fall for your deceit a second time,” he said with a frown.

“We weren’t deceiving you!” Angeal exclaimed, “I honestly considered you one of my friends.”

“Then why did you leave?!” he all but screamed at Angeal, vaguely aware that he was crying again.

“They left Shinra because they know their origins. Genesis was a fetus donated to Shinra to study the effects of cells taken from an organism once believed to be Cetran in origin. Cells were implanted into Gillian and samples were collected of cells that have been converted by her body and implanted into Genesis. Angeal received these same altered cells by way of being Gillian’s son,” Hollander said, “and I know enough about Hojo’s work to know that a similar process was conducted except that instead of using another human as a filter, you were injected pure cells directly. Since your birth, Hojo clearly has been using you for his favorite lab rat, which is rather unnecessary if you ask me. Plenty could have been learned simply by giving you the same kind of like Angeal and Genesis had and observing your development.”

“So I’m a monster too, is that it?” he asked quietly, not caring how broken he sounded.

He was feeling unsteady, uncertain as if his life had been upended. Although, his life already was. No, this was different. Everything was falling into place. 

The reason why he felt as though he was alone, solitary in existence.

Why he felt some kind of kinship with Angeal and Genesis.

If he wasn’t human, then what was he?

“Hardly,” Angeal stated, his voice gentle, “I know what kind of person you are, Sephiroth. You’re just hurt and scared and overwhelmed. It’s going to be okay. I just need you to trust me.”

“Why should I?! The last time I did, you wound up leaving me to rot where Hojo did Odin knows what to me! Give me one good reason why I should even contemplate trusting you ever again!” he bellowed at his once-friend.

“Gen, I think we went too far,” Angeal said with a sigh.

“I’m starting to get that idea,” Genesis acknowledged with a heavy sigh himself.

“Sephiroth,” Zack said quietly, “I know you trust me some. I want you to take a deep breath and listen to what I have to say, okay?” He merely gave the puppy a nod before Zack said, “people make mistakes, Sephiroth. No one is perfect and I know you hold yourself and everyone around you to the same standard of perfection. It’s just not healthy. You clearly care about your friendship with them and honestly, if I had friends I care about as much as you care about them and my friends had made the same mistakes… I know I’d work on forgiving them. Because that’s what friendship truly means. It means forgiving them when they make mistakes and you get forgiven for your own. I can’t say that forgiveness is easy, because it’s not. But if you truly treasure the friendship, it’s worth the work.”

“So friendship involves being hurt repeatedly, then?” he asked quietly.

“Sometimes that happens on accident, but never intentionally,” Zack stated, “there’s a difference.”

“Pain is pain, regardless of whether it’s intentional or not,” he said with a frown as he could smell it.

Strife. 

“I had a bad feeling and decided to see how everything was going,” Strife said as he walked in and he could smell him.

“It is clear to me that Hojo may have been correct about one thing. Friendship is a weakness, one I will happily remove as effortlessly as I will remove my last remaining weakness,” he stated before lunging at Strife.

---

Zack knew that the situation was falling apart. He just need to find a way to calm a Sephiroth that had just decided that just maybe homicide was the answer to all of his problems. Way to go breaking the guy, Hojo. He was going to need to have a nice long chat about all of his clear sins. But first, he needed to think very quickly as to how to protect Cloud from Sephiroth.

The next thing he knew, he heard Masamune fall to the floor as Sephiroth stood still, mid-lunge. There was something definitely odd with how Sephiroth’s eyes seem to glass over, the pupils more like ovals than normal. He watched as Cloud all but dragged Sephiroth by the wrist to a corner and helped him down into a laying position before Sephiroth closed his eyes.

Was that just because Cloud smelled a certain way to Sephiroth?

“What the hell did you just do?!” Genesis exclaim in shock.

“Quiet, he’s resting,” Cloud said quietly as he sat down next to Sephiroth. “And I have no idea. I just know that due to whatever Hojo did to us, I can somehow sense his emotions and detect their presence through his scent. And I apparently can somehow exert some kind of suggestive control over him. I don’t know. All I know is that when he was attacking me, I just wanted him to relax. And he did.”

“And what about that scene in the helicopter?” Zack asked quietly.

“I think it was mostly because I was scared at the time,” Cloud answered quietly after a moment’s thought.

“Are you saying that because of something Hojo did to the two of you, Sephiroth instinctually responds to your scent?” Angeal asked.

“And I respond to his. When I walked in, his scent was almost overpowered by a stench that I could only guess was a sort of agonizing despair and just so much pain. I hope that by having him rest, it would help him feel better,” Cloud said quietly, “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing. I just only physically met him before we left Midgar.”

Sephiroth moved in his sleep, curling towards Cloud like he hadn’t just tried to kill him. 

“For the time being, I think we should get him moved somewhere more comfortable,” Angeal stated.

---

6/30/01

Today’s been a difficult day.

I met Sephiroth, which was a high point. Turned out that I had been texting him for days and that it was in fact Sephiroth’s scent that I was smelling. My scent apparently affects him in different ways than his does me.

I met his friends who had hurt him by leaving Shinra because they discovered that they were results of experiments - same with Sephiroth. 

He tried to kill me in a moment of pain and anguish. I don’t think he was thinking straight at the time. But I stopped him by simply wanting him to relax. I got him to rest.

We removed all of his equipment from him and moved everyone down to the abandoned town. The houses there have fireplaces so they’re not dependent on mako for heating, much like Nibelheim. We set down some cushions and blankets in front of the fire and set him down in it.

When I sit next to him, he cuddles around me and I think it’s utterly adorable. 

Is it wrong that I think he’s hot even when he’s asleep? But also cute.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Six

Reassembling Fragments

Cloud didn’t wake up due to his alarm clock or because he was told to wake up. No, he woke up because the person he was snuggled up against that smelled so wonderful decided to rearrange their bedding. It wasn’t for a few moments before his brain focused on what was going on. Sephiroth was awake and wasn’t trying to kill him again. He looked over at the man once he could focus his eyes and there was something that wasn’t quite right with him. It was like he was half asleep or something with how his eyes were open but only partially as he arranged the bedding before letting out a little growl before standing up.

He quietly explored the house, seemingly fixated on something before he started to gather everything soft that he could find which wasn’t being used by anyone and brought it over to where they had been peacefully sleeping. Within moments, their sleeping arrangement was far more softer under their bodies and had what amounted to a circular wall along the perimeter, looking almost like a bird’s nest.

Sephiroth then let out a sigh as he settled down and Cloud decided that there wasn’t any harm in joining Sephiroth again. However once he was laying down, the SOLDIER shifted to rest his head on Cloud’s chest. Cloud was certain that his inner fanboy was dying of happiness as he felt the man’s long hair drape over them and he couldn’t resist giving the hair a gentle stroke.

He was expecting a glare or some kind of negative reaction. Instead, he heard the First let out a sigh and started to purr again. He smiled, knowing that his actions were clearly giving the poor soul a modicum of comfort. 

It bothered him just how different he seemed from what he knew of the man. He was starting to wonder whether Shinra merely wanted everyone to see him and other SOLDIERs a specific way that wasn’t entirely genuine or matched their personalities. He knew that this Sephiroth seemed to be teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown and acted as if he was always on guard, always vigilant.

The last words Sephiroth had said before lunging towards him bothered him. It told him that he believed that he shouldn’t have any weaknesses. That plus his warning to not show Hojo any weaknesses or Hojo would take advantage of them. Did… Sephiroth grow up in the labs under Hojo?

He heard a floorboard creak and saw Zack approach from where the bedrooms were. He was dressed only in a pair of moogle print boxers and clearly had no issues with his level of dress.

“I heard a bit of a ruckus. Is everything alright?” Zack asked quietly.

“He apparently needed everything soft that wasn’t used,” he responded quietly.

“Looks like an adorable and soft nest,” Zack said with some amusement before turning serious, “how is he doing?”

“I think he’s comfortable,” he said with a small smile, realizing he’d stopped stroking Sephiroth’s hair entirely because he heard him let out a small whine.

“You know, I’ve never seen him allow anyone touch his hair,” Zack said.

“I think it’s because he’s not fully there,” he said quietly as he went back to stroking the silver hair that was incredibly smooth and silky, “I’m kind of worried of what will happen when he fully wakes up.”

“I’ve heard of people have mental breakdowns and they get better. I mean, look at Angeal and Genesis. Last time I saw them, they were convinced that they were monsters. I think Sephiroth’s words knocked some sense into them and we might need to do the same with him,” Zack said with a smile. “Honestly, I think it was everything hitting him all at once along with his mood swings. I think once we get an idea of what happened to you guys, he’ll probably calm down again.”

Cloud nodded, hoping that Zack was right.

---

Sephiroth knew that he couldn’t be more relaxed if he tried. He was even more relaxed than the time he’d curled up in his bed and breathed in Cloud’s scent off of the neckerchief for hours. All he could do was let out a sigh. The moment that he heard what he was certain was someone else’s pulse, he knew that he wasn’t in his bed curled up with the neckerchief. Something in his brain seemingly went off as he felt a hand gently stroke his hair down to his shoulders. Any thoughts he had were wiped away by that feeling of having his hair stroked.

He lost track of time and the number of times his hair was stroked before he was shifted off of whomever it was that he was practically laying on top of. He came to with enough time to see Strife having stripped down to his uniform’s undershirt and kept his trousers on. 

Strife that he had attacked in a fit of… what exactly was it that he was feeling at that time?

He didn’t know. If Angeal was around, he’d certainly ask him. But Angeal had left and… where was he for that matter?

He looked around, seeing that it looked like the living room of a house. Were they still in Modeoheim? 

Now that Strife’s scent wasn’t overpowering everything and his brain was clearing up, he could smell something being cooked in the kitchen along with sounds of heavy but careful footsteps.

He got up, feeling and hearing his back pop as he did so, seeing that he had been stripped down to his trousers. As long as they hadn’t stripped him further than that, he was fine. 

He carefully made his way to the kitchen, seeing Angeal cook over what appeared to be a camping stove with a smile on his face. Right. Angeal always looked happy when he was cooking. Especially when he knew he was sharing his cooking with others.

“How are you feeling?” Angeal asked, sounding the same as he always had.

A sudden wave of emotion hit him, one that he couldn’t name but it brought tears to his eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t know half of these emotions that keep overwhelming me. And I hate it,” he said quietly.

“Do you think you’d feel better if you sat down and talked about it over a cup of coffee?” Angeal asked.

He couldn’t bear to look at Angeal. Half because of the pain of abandonment and half out of shame for what he’d done. He was supposed to be perfect, not flawed. Perfect meant less pain and far less Hojo in his life. And he felt like he was a long ways away from that which he was supposed to be.

“I...I don’t know,” he said quietly, “but… maybe it’ll help. Getting another perspective,” he said quietly as he sat down at the kitchen table.

“If it helps, I understand that Genesis and I hurt you deeper than I thought we had,” Angeal said quietly, “and I’m sorry.”

“Some of it’s because I… I made the mistake of not disclosing more to you. Things that I probably should have. I… was afraid that you’d want to run away if I were to inform you that I was raised in the lab,” he said quietly, knowing that he was actually crying but couldn’t stop the tears, “and that you and Genesis made every horrible thing Hojo did to me… not as bad. Because I knew that the two of you were waiting for me at the other end.”

He heard a clattering from the stove, before he felt himself being pulled out of his chair and hugged tightly. He was aware that the tears were flowing more freely before he just simply pressed his face into Angeal’s knit shirt. As always, he felt Angeal rub his back the way Angeal always had. For once in almost a year, everything felt as it should. Everything felt like it was back in place. 

“In the labs, everyone disappeared eventually except for Hojo,” he said between quiet sobs.

“I’m sorry we hurt you so much,” Angeal said, “but there’s a bright side to all of this.”

“What?” he all but croaked.

“Now that we know, we will never do that to you ever again. We will always involve you even if it’s just us letting you know, okay?” Angeal asked.

“But you two are written off as dead and the Company will ensure that you are unless your deaths are covered up.”

“Which is doable,” Angeal said in the tone he used when trying to soothe him or Genesis, “and there’s still ways we can stay in touch. Feeling better?”

“Some,” he responded, realizing that his tears had dried, “I apologize for my emotional outburst. I’ve been suffering from mood swings for almost three weeks now.”

“Do you want to tell me what’s been going on while I’m hugging you or not?” Angeal asked.

“I don’t know. I… I’m disgusted about what happened and… I don’t know if you’ll want to keep touching me afterward.”

“Sephiroth,” Angeal said with a sigh, “you are my friend no matter what Hojo has done to you. I promise you this. What I can’t promise you is that Gen and I won’t launch another attack on Headquarters, this time to ensure that Hojo can no longer hurt you.”

“I don’t want this to reach anyone without my permission,” he said quietly, “on your honor.”

“On my honor as your friend, I’ll keep your secret,” Angeal responded warmly.

“Hojo injected me with something at the beginning of all of this. I don’t know what it was. But that’s when I started having mood swings. After a few days, waves of abdominal pain and occasional sounds from my abdomen. After a few more days, I started finding myself craving specific foods. When I developed a headache, fever, and bleeding from my perineum, I knew I had no other alternatives open to me but to report to Hojo,” he said quietly, fighting back the memories.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Angeal said quietly, holding him tighter.

“It gets worse. I… blacked out shortly after and when I came to, I had lost close to two days and…” he said trailing off as he found it difficult to say but took in a deep breath, “Hojo informed me that in that time since the injection… I had developed a uterus and everything that comes with it. He told me that he doesn’t know if it’s functional. Since then, I have been sensitive to Strife’s scent and he is to mine but clearly to a smaller extent.”

“That sounds horrifying, Sephiroth,” Angeal said quietly, “but I’m here now and Gen and I are going to make sure that you’re safe.”

“How? I can never be safe as long as Hojo lives or gets the President’s approval for every deranged idea he comes up with,” he said quietly, “I’m aware that… I’m trapped, Angeal. If I try to escape, it would be worse than with you and Genesis and they’ll ensure that I’m returned alive and unable to ever escape again.”

“You’ve been dealing with too much by yourself. Let us help you,” Angeal said as he became aware of Strife’s presence.

Another difficult conversation. And he had yet to drink any coffee that morning.

He pulled away from Angeal’s embrace and looked away from Strife.

“You’re clearly doing better now,” Strife said gently.

“Better but not where I usually am,” he said quietly.

“Still better than yesterday,” Strife insisted.

“I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have attempted to attack you,” he said quietly, “I… was not thinking straight at the time. I was overcome by a lot of emotions. I’m sorry and I’m glad that I wasn’t successful.”

“Just promise that there won’t be a repeat performance and we’ll call it good,” Strife said with a smile. 

“I promise I won’t do that again,” he said, feeling relieved that one difficult conversation with Strife was completed.

There was still one left to be had and he would rather have it privately. But that could be later.

---

Tseng smiled a little at the memories he had of that mission, especially once everything appeared to settle. He had been concerned when he had heard of Sephiroth’s episode that the SOLDIER was going to go on a rampage, but it was a relief to know that it was merely temporary.

---

Cloud’s PHS buzzed, pulling him out from the book he was reading. He had the rest of the day left after returning from Modeoheim and had elected to relax in his bunk. He opened his PHS, seeing that it was a text from Sephiroth.

We still need to piece together what happened in the lab. Would it be too forward of me to invite you to my quarters?

He had no idea whether his response was due to him being a massive fanboy or just the idea of being in a location that was steeped in his scent. But Sephiroth was right - they both clearly had fragments of memory and they needed to piece things together. 

If you are comfortable with me being there, I don’t see a problem with that.

---

Sephiroth flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out before taking a few gulps of water as his PHS buzzed. Yet again, he felt as if everything had just turned upside down again and he just wished that things would simply stay steady long enough for him to catch his metaphorical balance. Although this last time was partially his fault. He could have waited to do that.

He read Strife’s response before sending a response.

I will have Zack meet you and escort you up. 

---

Cloud was concerned the moment he stepped foot into Sephiroth’s quarters. He could pick up that the SOLDIER was distressed and his instincts demanded he soothed the taller man. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked as Sephiroth simply sat on his couch.

“I’ll tell you once we share what we can remember,” Sephiroth said quietly, looking almost green in the face.

“Where is it okay for me to sit?” he asked, feeling nervous because he was in Sephiroth’s quarters and he was about to tell his childhood idol and crush something of a very private nature and he had no idea what to do.

“Anywhere you wish,” he said, “as close or as far from me as you feel comfortable.”

He knew that he likely looked awkward because he was definitely feeling awkward. He had never thought that it was even possible that he would meet the man, let alone wind up in his quarters. After having spent the night curled up together. If Sephiroth was okay with him sitting close to him, then he would. As awkwardly as he probably felt, he sat down next to Sephiroth.

“I should probably start first?” Cloud offered, hoping that if he just shared first, if he died of mortification or embarrassment, at least Sephiroth had as many answers as he could give before the lifestream took him. He glanced over, seeing a nod from Sephiroth and took a deep breath. “I was heading to the labs for my breakfast. I stepped out of the elevator and…”

He stopped speaking because his mouth went dry and he didn’t know how to continue. He could feel his face heating up.

“I assume you picked up my scent,” Sephiroth said.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, “and it was intoxicating. I felt a need to find its source and…” He took a gulp as he felt his face heating up. 

---

Normally with how many times Strife had paused and stammered, Sephiroth would have found himself starting to lose his patience. And yet, he thought it was rather… was the proper word in this context cute?- with how the younger man blushed and wrung his hands. He was going to need to do something to comfort Strife, let him know that he wasn’t going to judge him.

After all, Strife had plenty of reason to judge him and far more hardly than he would Strife.

“Why are you so nervous, Strife?” he asked gently, not wanting to scare the younger man more than he clearly was.

“I… I’ve never told anyone what happened, sir,” Strife said.

“Please, leave all ‘sir’s outside my quarters,” he said, wanting to calm him, to let him know that he was safe.

“Then you can call me Cloud, then,” Cloud said with a small smile.

“Very well, Cloud,” he said as he swore Cloud looked like he nearly had an out of body experience. “Are you well?”

“I just… never thought I’d ever hear you say my name,” Cloud said quietly, his face turning a deeper red.

“Please, continue your recollection. Do keep in mind that you have no reason to be concerned,” he said, wanting to comfort the younger man as he could pick something up in his scent.

After all, he was quite certain that Cloud’s tale was easier to deal with than his own.

“I… was overcome by the need to find where the scent was coming from and claim the source of it,” Cloud said, blushing, “and by claim, I mean...sexually. I recall entering a room and closing the door behind me and the scent was very strong and afterward, I only have bits and pieces. I remembered comforting them for a moment. They seemed… distressed. Everything I have is mostly bits and pieces of… I think I had sex with them...with… you.”

“Which part of that are you uncertain about?” he asked gently, Cloud’s scent telling him that he was uncomfortable and very embarrassed, nothing he didn’t already know from the blushing and pauses.

“I… I never had sex so I don’t really know exactly how it feels,” Cloud admitted, clearly uncomfortable.

“I see,” he said, having already having arrived at the same conclusion. 

A part of him he did his bed to ignore idly wondered what it would feel like if they had engaged in the activity while lucid and promptly discarded that thought. 

“Are you upset at me?” Cloud asked quietly.

“Why would I? It appears that whatever Hojo did to you took control of you and you couldn’t do more than you already were to stop or prevent it,” he said quietly, “much like I was unable to stop it or prevent it, either.”

“Thank you,” Cloud said quietly, looking right into his eyes for the first time since he’d arrived.

Sephiroth gazed into Cloud’s eyes, knowing that Cloud was getting a good look at his own. Another sign that he wasn’t human but something else. He must have looked away because he suddenly felt Cloud’s hand on his cheek, pulling him to look Cloud in the eyes again.

“What’s wrong?” Cloud asked, his voice too gentle.

“I… I know my eyes aren’t exactly human,” he admitted quietly.

“They’re still pretty,” Cloud quietly blurted out before turning a new shade of red he had yet to see Cloud’s face turn.

He was starting to think that it might actually be fun to toy with the bashful young man. See what new tones of red his face can go. 

“You think so?” he asked, finding himself leaning towards Cloud.

“They’re like a cat’s,” Cloud said with some amusement, “and they even do that thing that cats’ eyes do when they get excited.”

“I’ve been compared to worse,” he admitted, pulling away from Cloud before he did something unwise. He looked away, knowing that it was his turn.

---

It was definitely interesting, in Cloud’s opinion, seeing Sephiroth’s pupils slowly expand as he looked into the man’s eyes. It had been difficult actually making out the man’s eyes in the snowy news reports and the newspaper. But he would never admit to anyone that the feature he was drawn to besides his eyes were those lips that he found himself wonder if they were as soft as they looked. They were definitely so close that had he been less self-conscious, he might have leaned just enough to sample them. His scent didn’t help either, making him think that maybe Sephiroth might be interested.

And then Sephiroth turned away and he could smell a spike of emotions that weren’t interest. Sephiroth’s expression looked serious and yet his scent was full of fear, disgust, and distress. His instincts were clamoring, telling him to comfort Sephiroth, to ease his troubles. That it was one of his duties to tend to Sephiroth’s needs. Was this due to whatever was done to them?

“Two weeks before the incident,” Sephiroth started quietly, “Hojo injected me with something. He tends to inject me with something or other every chance he gets. It’s almost one of his hobbies. The day following the injection, I started to notice that I was having mood swings. Over the two weeks leading up to the incident, I started having other symptoms. Abdominal pains, unsettling sounds coming from my abdomen, irritability, bouts of crying for minor reasons if any… the day before the incident, I started having headaches. An hour or so before, I became feverish and noticed that some blood was coming from my perineum.”

“Your what?” Cloud couldn’t help but to ask since he had no idea what that meant.

“It’s the area that stretches from behind the scrotum to the anus,” Sephiroth explained with a frown.

“It doesn’t sound good if you were bleeding from there,” he supplied, feeling concerned for Sephiroth.

“Which was why I decided that my physical state warranted a trip to the labs to have Hojo figure out what was wrong with me. Hojo took me to an examination room and hooked me up to an IV to lower my fever and deal with the pain. I felt anxious and concerned about what could be happening to me and then I picked up your scent. One which aroused me beyond anything I’d ever felt in my life. I felt liquid gush from between my legs but I was too overcome by your scent to do anything. I… I remembered being comforted for a moment. A hand on my face… your hand on my face, exactly in the same way you just did not too long ago. The rest of what happened are fragments which also lead me to believe we had intercourse.”

Cloud didn’t know what to think of Sephiroth’s side of things, but he knew that he was concerned at the fact that Sephiroth’s emotions were spiking again. Sephiroth’s scent all but screamed distress and he shook with the effort to not act on his instincts. 

“Cloud?” Sephiroth asked, sounding concerned, “what is wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “it’s your scent. It’s telling me that you’re in distress and I’m holding myself back from acting on my instincts.”

“What are your instincts telling you to do?” Sephiroth asked quietly.

“Comfort you. Wrap my arms around you. Run my hand over your hair like I did last night,” he answered quietly.

“You have my permission,” Sephiroth said with a small smile, “and if you decide that what I’ve become thanks to whatever Hojo did to me is distasteful enough to leave, you’re welcome to as long as you keep everything between us a secret.”

“You think you’re distasteful?” he asked quietly as he moved to wrap his arms around Sephiroth moments before he felt Sephiroth’s arms around him as well.

“How many people on Gaia are you aware of who have eyes and hair like mine?” Sephiroth asked quietly, “and that’s not even including my most recent developments.”

“It doesn’t make you distasteful or a monster, Sephiroth,” he said, giving the larger man a squeeze, “it makes you unique. Monsters kill mindlessly or torture others for no other reason than their own amusement.”

“By your logic, my actions during the war could be considered monstrous,” Sephiroth stated evenly, “but I was never doing it mindlessly. I… it was never about killing for me.”

“Then not a monster. Just a very unique human,” he insisted, feeling Sephiroth’s arms tighten around him as he felt Sephiroth press his face against the spot where Cloud’s shoulder and neck met.

He knew that Sephiroth was crying into his shirt as he clung to him.

“I nearly robbed myself of this moment. Of you,” Sephiroth said quietly, clearly trying hard not to sob.

“I’ve told you earlier, I forgive you,” Cloud said firmly.

“I don’t know if I ever could. I’ve never lost control like that before. It was frightening,” Sephiroth admitted quietly.

“Sephiroth, I know you may never believe this but if I refuse to ever let you face that kind of situation without me ever again.”

Sephiroth merely clung to him and cried silently for a little while. It was rather odd considering the man’s reputation for being almost ice cold. He wondered if it was tied to whatever Hojo did to the poor guy. But all he could do was what he was doing, giving Sephiroth the time to let everything out. It was definitely more preferable to the alternative. 

A moment after he was certain that Sephiroth’s tears had stopped, he felt Sephiroth lift his head.

“I should continue my explanation or I may wind up keeping you here all night.”

Something decided to take control of his mouth since it mindlessly blurted out, “I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

“Don’t make statements like that without knowing the full extent of things,” Sephiroth chided before letting out a sigh. “I woke up in a different examination room and Hojo informed me that… I… I apparently formed… quite spontaneously… a womb and everything that comes with it.”

“So you’re saying that you’ve got lady bits?” Cloud asked.

“Yes,” Sephiroth said quietly, “it very likely opened up right before we had intercourse.”

“So you can get pregnant?” Cloud asked, feeling worried as he could tell that Sephiroth was uncomfortable but not in so much distress that he needed to do something.

There was a pause before he heard Sephiroth take a sharp inhale of breath before saying, “if the pregnancy test I took earlier tonight is accurate, yes.”

Cloud’s brain stopped working and he was certain that someone was pulling a massive prank on him.

Hojo had somehow caused Sephiroth to suddenly grow lady bits. And something happened where he and Sephiroth blacked out while having sex that neither of them consented to. And he might have impregnated Sephiroth.

He really hoped that this was just a very cleverly done and elaborate prank because if it wasn’t, his ma was going to have both a hayday and kittens at the same time. He could just hear her disappointment that he had failed to use protection and he better make up for that mistake or else. And then she’d probably think he was pulling her leg once he told her that the person he impregnated was Sephiroth and that men typically don’t have wombs. Then, when or if he just managed to get his Ma to believe that yes, he really did impregnant Sephiroth and that Sephiroth is capable of becoming pregnant, his Ma’s teasing would be endless.

He knew that his Ma knew that he was one of Sephiroth’s fans considering the posters and pictures up on his wall and bedroom ceiling. He was also sure that his Ma even knew he had a crush on the guy. 

One thing he was certain was that pregnant or not, he was not going to bring Sephiroth to Nibelheim for one big reason. He was certain what dignity he had left would not survive it between his Ma and Sephiroth coming face to face with what had likely been an obsession.

He did not want Sephiroth to ever know just how much of a fanboy he was. Ever. He was pathetic enough as it was. But he needed to make sure he heard correctly.

“So you’re… pregnant?” he asked.

“Unless my unique biology confused the test, it appears so. I intend to take a few more tests to rule out the possibility of a false positive,” Sephiroth said, still not letting go of him, “so do you think I’m… distasteful?”

“Because Hojo did Gaia knows what to you for Odin knows how long? It’s not your fault that any of this happened, Sephiroth. What is is how you cope and deal with it. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want, mostly because I’m worried that if I do, I might wind up a shishkabob,” Cloud commented.

“I never would and I… don’t appreciate you making light of what nearly happened yesterday,” Sephiroth said quietly.

“That was rather thoughtless of me. I’m sorry,” Cloud said once he realized that yeah, he said something in incredibly bad taste.

“You are forgiven,” Sephiroth said after a moment, giving him a slight squeeze.

He relaxed in the moment as silence stretched on, enjoying the fact that he was in Sephiroth’s arms and Sephiroth was in his. There was something about it that felt right, like he’d been needing this for a while, at least since the incident, perhaps longer. 

“I know it’s early to be making plans, but I want to know what your opinions are of… I dunno…” he said trailing off.

“I know that it’s early enough that it’s possible to abort, however I doubt that Hojo would allow it since it would give him another life to torment the same he has tormented me all my life,” Sephiroth stated quietly. “I don’t even know if I’m capable of carrying a child to term or how viable it is.”

“I wasn’t thinking of the child quite yet,” Cloud said quietly, “I was thinking more along the lines of us.”

“Us?” Sephiroth asked, clearly confused.

“Yeah. Us.”

“Care to elaborate?” Sephiroth asked, still obviously confused.

“You and me?” Cloud responded, wondering how someone as clearly intelligent the man obviously was could not grasp what he was talking about.

“Yes, I gathered that from the word ‘us’,” Sephiroth responded with a clear sarcastic edge, “I still don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I’m going to have to spell it out for you, aren’t I?” he said with a sigh.

“No need. I do know how to spell a simple, two letter word.”

“Are you being serious or are you joking because I have no idea right now.”

“Apart from my one sarcastic quip, I’ve been rather serious this whole confusing conversation.”

“You… don’t really socialize much, do you?” he asked, looking at Sephiroth.

“Hojo didn’t consider socialization to be a priority while I was being trained in the labs. By the time I was assigned to SOLDIER, it was difficult to form any kind of beneficial social bonds. When I returned to Midgar after my first tour, I was already made a First in record time and paraded for my skill on the battlefield. That didn’t lead to any decrease in difficulty socializing. If anything, it made it more difficult since people started to avoid me or were intimidated by me. I have since learned that the easiest way to navigate mandatory social events is to attend them with Angeal and Genesis or simply be as unobtrusive as possible and slip out after a proper length of time has been met.”

“So you’ve only had Angeal, Genesis, and Zack for your friends and nothing else?” 

“I am aware of my status as the ‘most eligible bachelor’ in all of Midgar and perhaps Gaia but I deemed it best to refrain from having dalliances. I… I know that one of the fastest methods to gain Hojo’s attention is by being someone who has caught my attention. Angeal, Genesis, and Zack have been fortunate that Hojo never did anything to them yet. And I fear what could happen to you if he has reason to believe that I see you more than just a passing acquaintance.”

“That… is a very lonely life,” he said quietly.

“I do not dispute that.”

“What I was asking earlier was your opinions about us having a relationship but I think I know what they are since you don’t want Hojo to target me more than he already has,” Cloud said quietly.

“The cameras on this floor has the unfortunate habit of shorting out, as do the cameras on most levels where SOLDIER quarters are located. As long as we are not seen together outside of this floor nor act like there’s anything between us, I don’t see why we can’t try,” Sephiroth stated.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven

Tseng frowned as he flipped to the next page in the binder, seeing another disc. Upon it was written 5/30/01 CAMs 7001-7006 AS . He understood the code being that the disc included video files from every camera on level 70 and the audio was synchronized and embedded into the audio files. He inserted the disc into his computer and saw that each camera was its own video file. He mentally brought up a map of level 70 and determined which camera would have the best view of the event, selecting one which was pointed directly at the President’s desk.

He watched as he saw President Shinra sit at his desk with a smile on his face. The same one he always had on when he was dealing with Hojo based on his observations. After all, many of Hojo’s projects had been profitable to the Company - primarily that of SOLDIER’s enhancements and Sephiroth himself. 

“Professor, what can I do for you?” the President said with a smile.

“I come bearing good and bad news, President,” Hojo said, “if you don’t mind, I believe I should deliver the good news first.”

“By all means,” the President said, still smiling, “please sit down.”

“It is still very early, but I believe within the next nine months, we can expect the arrival of Sephiroth’s offspring,” Hojo said with a smile, “I have started to restore Sephiroth’s original holding facilities in preparation.”

“Do you believe that the offspring will prove as lucrative as the weapon that sired it?” the President asked.

“I do believe so, however, due to the nature of the gestation, I would not use the term ‘sire’ as such due to an unexpected development in an earlier experiment,” Hojo said with a slight frown.

“And I suspect, that’s the nature of your bad news?” the President said with a scowl.

“It was an oversight on my part, but one which may pose relatively inconsequential,” Hojo said with a smile.

“Please explain,” the President said with a scowl and sharp eyes, putting a commanding emphasis on that last word.

“Last month, I requisitioned an accepted applicant to the Infantry due to the fact that not many from Nibelheim even apply for employment with us. In my previous studies, I became aware of the fact that many communities have similar gene groups, likely due to their secluded gene pool. The gene group that is common to Nibelheim bears a striking similarity to an inactive one that Sephiroth carries. Upon activation of the infantryman’s Nibelheim gene group, he started exhibiting increased muscle growth and density, and appeared to trigger a growth spurt in the sixteen year old. As it appeared to have positive side effects, I injected Sephiroth with a compound to activate his inactive gene that is similar to the infantryman’s.”

“And I suppose something happened that you did not foresee,” the President said with a sigh.

“I believe that the altered Jenova cells within Sephiroth reacted to the activating of this gene and formed a series of organs that his genetic code said were missing. Organs which appear to be a fully functioning feminine reproductive system,” Hojo said with a slight frown, “and the process during which the birthing canal opened seemed to have an effect on the infantryman and Sephiroth both in a way that they spent twelve hours in a state where they were basically mindless and bestia, focusing on intercourse and attending to their bodily needs. After which, both went into a near catatonic state, likely due to the amount of energy they had spent during the twelve hours they were enslaved by their instincts. I was able to separate and clean both subjects before they came to, nearly thirty-six hours after the incident started. Neither subject appeared to remember clearly what had transpired.”

“And it resulted in Sephiroth’s pregnancy,” the President said with a frown.

“During the examination on the second day after I released Sephiroth to his duties, I found evidence of successful implantation of a fertilized egg in the form of the presence of light bleeding. I am still watching his hormone levels and measuring the effects these hormones are having on his body,” Hojo stated.

“As much as I enjoy entertaining the thought of having Shinra’s greatest weapon procreating, the fact that he’s doing so by way of his own womb is problematic. As he is the greatest weapon in my arsenal, I require him to be ready to serve his purpose at any time, which he can’t do if he’s pregnant,” the President said before getting up from his desk to walk in a manner which said that he was deep in thought, considering possibilities and outcomes. “For now, it may be best to simply monitor the pregnancy unless it becomes clear that his purpose as a weapon is more important than his newer purpose of breeding, in which case I will give you the order to restore the weapon’s original purpose.”

---

Tseng frowned as he felt that he had found one of the missing pieces he required to make sense of the incidents. If anything, he found himself feeling sympathetic toward Sephiroth as he gained more understanding behind the man’s actions that day. 

---

6/31/01

Today’s been an exhausting ride.

Sephiroth woke up in better spirits and I found him and Angeal hugging. He apologized for his outburst yesterday and promised that he would never try to kill me. I can tell through his scent that he was upset at what happened and was being honest. But he just seemed so sad and scared at the time.

After we returned to Midgar, Sephiroth invited me to his quarters. It looks like all stuff that came with the room. There doesn’t seem to be much in the way of personal touches outside of trinkets here and there and framed photos. 

He told me what he remembered happening and the events before and after. Apparently, Hojo did something to him that made him develop lady parts. We both agreed that during the time we both lost, it’s clear that we had sex. Which really sucks because neither of us agreed to it, it was my first time, and it was with Sephiroth AND I CAN’T REMEMBER IT. My first time and it was with Sephiroth and I can’t remember it. 

And Sephiroth is apparently pregnant? He doesn’t know if the positive test is a false positive and it’s too early to really know anything specific.

Also we’re dating now.

He seems less scared and sad after our discussion and far more comfortable now. We embraced for what felt like an hour and it was amazing. Everything I always imagined except more cause it’s real. And oh gods does his lips feel and taste incredible.

We made out. Oh gods was it incredible. I told him that I wanted to pleasure him because he deserves all the pleasure I could give him and he allowed it. He made the most beautiful sounds. I think I should use some of my extra pay to get some toys to use on him.

As I’m laying in my bunk, I find that I’m missing him already.

Is it possible that I might have gotten addicted to him?

---

Tseng barely read Strife’s journal entry, glancing over what was clearly personal and not important to the investigation. For a handful of pages, all they held were more of Strife’s daily journaling. At least until he encountered more of Hojo’s notes.

---

7/04/01

S-01’s penis size has continued to decrease, now a full inch shorter and 1/4 inch thinner than before the activation of a previously unknown gene. There is a continued increase in the presence of body fat on pectoral regions, whether it is due to the gene or pregnancy hormones is currently unclear. Tests continue to indicate that pregnancy is continuing without problems at this time. It is also unclear whether S-01 is aware of what had transpired now two weeks ago or that he is currently pregnant. S-01 is currently within week 4 of his pregnancy based on date of evidence of successful implantation. I plan on performing a scan to look for the presence of the fetus’s heartbeat starting next week and lasting until it is detected or there is evidence of a miscarriage.

S-02’s developments are more subtle, his body height having increased by a total of 3 inches since the start of the project. His weight has increased by a total of 10 pounds. Scans show that an unknown gland has appeared during the course of the project, connecting to the subject’s slightly lengthened canines. It is currently unknown what the purpose of this gland is. Upon the completion of an examination of S-02’s sexual organs, I have taken note that even this subject is not immune from alterations to said organs. An unknown formation near the base of the subject’s penis is present, the purpose of which is unclear. The formation encompasses the entire perimeter for the last inch of the subject’s penis and only presents as slight swelling. The penis itself has grown in length and width, becoming 6.5 inches in length aroused and 4.89 inches in girth with the exception of the unknown formation. Testicle size has also increased noticeably.

---

Just reading that made Tseng feel ill as he realized several key details, all of which led him to give Rufus a call and to inform him of what he’d discovered.

This was going to make things far more complicated.

---

7/12/01

I have managed to detect the presence of a fetal heartbeat in regards to S-01’s pregnancy. With this result, I will no longer require scanning for its presence.

---

Tseng flipped through another handful of Strife’s journal entries before reaching a chatlog.

---

7/20/01

C: How’s your day going?

S: Not great. My hips are particularly painful and I feel exhausted. What about you?

C: Just got out of the labs after lunch. Hojo’s paying particular attention to my dick and balls lately. I think they shrank in his presence.

S: He does have that effect. I’m scheduled to be in a meeting with the board.

C: Sounds important.

S: It’s usually because either Hojo wants to show me off like a stud chocobo or Heidegger wants me to answer questions regarding a mission or incident rather than reading my gd reports.

C: Good luck, then.

S: I believe I need more than just luck to survive this.

C: Want me to come and visit you tonight after your shift to make your day better?

S: Please. I will inform Zack.

---

Tseng frowned as he saw that the next item in the binder was a disc labeled 7/20/01 CAM 6808 .

---

Sephiroth walked into the conference room as early as he usually tended to arrive for appearance’s sake. And as always, Scarlet just had to leer at him like he was a rack of fresh meat. It always made him feel uncomfortable and as always, he did his best to ignore her annoying advances. Everyone else seemed to make a singular questioning glance his way, like they were wondering why he was present, including Heidegger. Hojo seemed to be grinning as Shinra started off the meeting.

He paid attention to the meeting, wondering just why he had been summoned to the meeting, hearing nothing but the usual inane drivel and arguments over funding. He glanced over at the clock on the wall, seeing that the meeting had gone well over forty-five minutes past the end time he’d been informed and none of it had anything to do with him. Just why had his time been wasted like this?

“Before we adjourn, Hojo and I have an announcement,” Shinra stated.

“Yes,” Hojo said with a smile, “Sephiroth here was called to this meeting because we wanted to give you a chance to congratulate him regarding the fact that he is pregnant and expecting.”

He had to remind himself that murdering both Hojo and the President in one stroke in front of the rest of the board of directors was not an intelligent idea, as much as it would be quite satisfying. 

“Pregnant? Isn’t he...a he?” Scarlet asked with a sour expression.

“He is biologically intersex,” Hojo explained, “he has both sets of reproductive organs and they appear to be fully functional.”

He felt disgusted at the fact that Hojo and the President were discussing his reproduction and reproductive organs with others without his permission. He felt utterly violated, as if he were merely an object and not a person. He saw Director Tuesti catch his eye and mouthed ‘sorry’ at him, looking rather apologetic and uncomfortable.

“This is going to put too many things in jeopardy,” Heidegger said, “he’s the star of SOLDIER.”

“Even with the mass desertion, we do have more SOLDIER operatives at our disposal than just Sephiroth,” Lazard said with a sigh, “I have every confidence that we can spare Sephiroth for as long as he needs and allow him an opportunity to work from the comfort of home or where ever he chooses to be.”

“Even when he does go on maternity leave, I will stress that he should remain on site and make his appointments with me,” Hojo stated, giving him a look that made him feel uncomfortable.

He knew why Hojo would keep him in the tower even while on leave. It had everything to do with stealing his offspring the moment they were born and little else.

After more discussions about him that didn’t involve him, the board gave a weak smattering of congratulations to him and then the meeting was adjourned, almost a full hour past when it was scheduled to end. He strode out of the room before he surrendered to his urges to kill everyone, ensuring that he did not look like he was outright fleeing. 

“Sephiroth,” he heard Director Tuesti call for him.

Out of respect for Tuesti’s rank and the fact that the man looked uncomfortable about the proceedings, he stopped but did not turn around.

“Yes, Director?” he asked quietly.

“I just felt that I should tell you that I’m deeply sorry for what happened. That was wrong of them to not allow you to disclose such a personal detail. It’s disgusting and I wanted you to know that not everyone’s like that and to properly apologize to you,” Tuesti said quietly, “honestly, I have no idea how you managed to keep your cool in face of all that.”

“Since you were obviously not partaking in the conversation more than you must, there is no reason for you to apologize. However… I thank you for the sentiment,” he said before continuing on to the elevators as he pulled out his PHS and cleared the rest of his schedule for the day.

---

Chapter Text

As usual, Cloud met up with Zack in the atrium before being led to Sephiroth’s quarters. He felt more than a little self aware at the fact that there were rumors of him and Zack dating due to Zack taking him to the floor where the SOLDIER First Class apartments were several times a week. Only he, Zack, and Sephiroth knew that half of those times were to just hang out with Zack and the other half was spent in his real boyfriend’s quarters. It also didn’t help that he had one of those really fancy paper gift bags in his hands which had some things he’d picked up since the last time he visited Sephiroth.

Some of those things he just got that day in response to seeing Sephiroth’s texts where his boyfriend complained about being tired and feeling not like himself but not in a way that warranted seeing Hojo. He knew that he absolutely needed to do everything he could to make sure his boyfriend feel better. 

“I gotta warn ya,” Zack warned in the elevator as it neared the floor in question, “he’s been even moodier than I’ve ever seen. Whatever’s going on with him, it’s made him into an absolute mess.”

“I bet,” Cloud said with a frown before saying, “hey Zack, I got a question for ya.”

“Shoot,” Zack responded with a smile.

“I know I’m gonna need to tell my Ma all this that’s going on. Is it wrong of me that I’m avoiding telling her anything?” Cloud asked with a frown, “or that I still haven’t confessed to Sephiroth that I was one of his fans.”

“Nah. The fact that you’re avoiding it is likely because you know that you don’t feel ready to deal with that. And likely you don’t want to hear her make comments about how you hooked up with your celebrity crush,” Zack said with a grin before giving him a more reassuring smile, “I doubt Sephiroth even cares that you’re one of his fans. Every SOLDIER under the age of twenty is his fan and he knows it. If anything, he probably knows considering how star-struck you were when we arrived on the helipad for the mission.”

“It was that obvious?” Cloud asked with a sigh.

“Oh yeah. Even more so when you started to blush in the helicopter,” Zack responded with a grin.

“Zaaaaaack,” Cloud groaned as he felt his face heat up as the elevator dinged and the doors parted.

“It’s the truth. With how the two of you were texting for a while, I could have sworn that it looked like Sephiroth was going out of his way to see how deeply you can blush,” Zack chuckled as he led Cloud to the door to Sephiroth’s residence.

Cloud didn’t bother giving Zack the reaction he clearly was trying to cajole out of him and simply knocked on Sephiroth’s door. When the door opened to reveal his boyfriend, he was stunned. The guy looked exhausted and worn, like he was almost dead on his feet. The scents his boyfriend gave off told him that he was exhausted but pleased and excited in more than one way.

“Are you okay?” he asked, staring at the silverette as the man moved to grant him access.

“I’m fine. Just fatigued,” Sephiroth stated tiredly, “thank you, Zack.”

“Hey, don’t mention it. I don’t mind being the decoy boyfriend for two of my best friends,” Zack said quite cheerfully as Cloud stepped into the apartment, gently brushing past Sephiroth, “I’m happy for the two of you and I don’t mind doing things for you guys. I mean, you guys hardly ask for anything outlandish. It’s what friends are for anyways. I’ll see you guys later.”

With that, Zack bounded off before Sephiroth could close the door. It bothered Cloud that Sephiroth leaned against the door for a moment once it was closed.

“What’s the occasion, Cloud? Most of the time, I’m the one who invites you over,” Sephiroth said, leaning against the door.

“I noticed that you were having a rough day and I wanted to make it better for you,” he said, giving his boyfriend a smile.

“It doesn’t take much for you to improve my day,” Sephiroth admitted quietly, moving from the door, “may I ask what’s in the bag? I’m smelling chocolate and…” he paused to take another deep breath, “berries of some kind.”

Of course he’d be able to smell one of his surprises. He’d heard that one of the effects of what made SOLDIERs what they were was enhanced senses and he’d seen enough pregnant women to know that their sense of smell was likely on par with a SOLDIER’s.

“I meant for it to be a surprise but I forgot about your sense of smell,” he admitted, feeling his face warm up.

He felt his boyfriend gently cup one of his cheeks with a hand, the callused fingers feeling amazing as they brushed his skin. All he could do was let out a quiet sigh at the feeling. He’d clearly spent too much time away from his boyfriend if his touch made him want to just melt into goo. 

“Apologies,” Sephiroth said, his voice smooth and quiet, “I am intrigued by what you have planned for me. Do you mind telling me what you have in mind?”

“I was thinking of getting you in the bath,” Cloud said, looking at his boyfriend, seeing the slightly older man smile down at him.

“That does sound inviting. Do continue.”

“I got some things to add to the bath to help you relax and I got some dark chocolate covered berries--” Cloud stopped as he saw that Sephiroth’s pupils had expanded quite suddenly at that last item - did Sephiroth have a sweet tooth? “--and then I brought us some toys for me to use on you if you are interested.”

“I’m very much interested, Cloud,” Sephiroth said with a smile, “I will warn you that I tend to run my baths rather warm.”

---

Sephiroth hummed as he continued to lay back in the bathtub, not caring about how much he was letting his emotions show or how much he was succumbing to Cloud’s comforting scent and complete acceptance of him. Cloud had allowed him to set the temperature but everything else about the bath was out of his control and he found he didn’t mind as he was covered in pleasantly smelling bubbles of various colors. On Cloud’s request, he was positioned so that he could rest his head on the shorter male’s shoulder.

This alone made his day worth all the tediousness and small annoyances he had to suffer. He’d never known indulgence such as this and if he had a choice in the matter, he would experience such indulgences far more regularly. 

“Another?” Cloud asked, clearly having relaxed himself as he opened his eyes to see his boyfriend holding up another of those chocolate covered berries.

“Please,” he answered before holding his mouth open for the treat.

He had no idea what he did to deserve such treatment but he definitely felt unworthy of such a gift. And yet he ached for this to become a common occurrence. 

He was too relaxed to keep himself from letting out a sound of pleasure as he bit into the wondrous treat. 

“So hot,” Cloud uttered under his breath, likely forgetting how sensitive his hearing was as he chewed the treat, allowing the tastes of the dark chocolate and the strawberry to merge together. “There’s some juice running,” Cloud said a little louder.

He hummed again at the sensation of Cloud’s tongue licking from the side of his jaw up to the corner of his lips. He swallowed what was in his mouth before moving so to capture the adventurous tongue in his mouth. Spurned on by the sound Cloud made in response, he moved his head the last bit for their lips to meet.

He knew he’d never told Cloud that he enjoyed their kisses and could never tire of such an activity that at one time had believed it was outside his grasp simply due to the life he led. But for Cloud, he was willing to try and keep their dalliances a secret. He realized in that moment that he couldn’t think of anything he wouldn’t do to keep Cloud in his life, to keep Cloud’s complete acceptance and obvious willingness to comfort him.

When he pulled back from the kiss, he was unable to keep the smile off his face at the sight of Cloud’s dazed expression that he’d learned was the expression that told him that he had been thoroughly kissed. Cloud’s eyes were partly open and glazed over as his mouth never fully closed at the conclusion of the kiss. As always, such a reaction was a balm to his ego.

“It’s always a wondrous sight seeing you reduced to such a state after one of our kisses,” he said, knowing that his satisfaction was dripping from his voice.

He witnessed the moment Cloud came to with a smile before the younger man said, “one of these days, you’ll be the one to be kissed into submission.”

“And I welcome your attempts,” he said, smiling at Cloud before returning to his original position before the kiss.

Closing his eyes, he simply returned to enjoying the cooling water and the casual affection he’d slowly adjusted to since that night they decided to attempt a relationship, only two weeks prior. He knew that the last two weeks had been rather pleasant compared to the weeks before that. 

In the moment of stillness, he couldn’t help but to feel that something was weighing on Cloud’s mind. If Cloud was happy accepting his worries, it only was expected that he would do likewise for the blond who had made him feel like his world had righted itself. He opened his eyes and gazed at him, seeing that little frown which always meant that Cloud was thinking about something.

“Something the matter?” he asked.

“Just worried,” Cloud said before expounding on the details without any prodding, “I’m worried about you, about the possibility that you’re pregnant with our child, telling my Ma about all this, about how you’d react if I confessed something really embarrassing about myself to you, and about the fact that I’ve got a mission tomorrow.”

“Let’s break your worries into an item and talk about each one, shall we?” he asked, wanting to soothe the young man who had quickly became so important to him, “why are you worried about me?”

“It’s just that you seem to be always exhausted and I know that your moods are all over the place and it’s not your fault,” Cloud then looked away before taking a deep breath, “what I saw in Modeoheim scared me. Not that you tried to kill me, but the look in your eyes and what your scent told me. I… I was scared that you… might be forever lost in your own pain and anguish.”

“The first bit are out of our control, Cloud. We can’t do anything but to cope and weather the storm that is my mood swings,” he said, reaching out to hold Cloud’s head in a hand the way he knew Cloud enjoyed, “if it makes you feel better, what happened in Modeoheim scared me too. It was like every dark emotion, every pain I carried with me at the time came crashing out and I was… lashing out at everything. I suppose, like Genesis had been doing. I was overwhelmed and I didn’t have a way out until you pulled me out of it.”

“But what if it happens again and I’m not there?” Cloud asked.

“You’ll likely find me and pull me out again,” he stated honestly, “you were drawn to me when I was starting to get overwhelmed by everything. You likely would be drawn to me again if there is a next time. I’m not afraid of that possibility as I am afraid of my harming or killing you before you could pull me out again.”

“I...I don’t think you can,” Cloud said gently, “I think you’ll have enough control to keep from doing that.”

“It is heartening to know that you have so much faith in my abilities. Thank you, Cloud,” he said before placing a kiss on Cloud’s cheek before saying, “as far as the possibility of my pregnancy, I have to inform you that it is absolutely certain. This morning, I had an episode of what I’ve discovered is called morning sickness. And that I should prepare to experience such episodes for the next several weeks. This puts me at approximately six weeks along out of approximately forty.”

“We’ll get there. Together,” Cloud said, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t identify but it didn’t make it any less breathtaking.

“I just…” he trailed off before dropping his hand and looking away, “Cloud, I was raised in the labs, surrounded by a revolving slew of assistants with the only static person in my life being gods damned Hojo. What kind of parent can I be with that kind of upbringing? When I… I was happy fighting in the war in Wutai simply on the grounds that I was across the Planet from Hojo and the labs. I was trained to be a weapon of war, violence, and death, Cloud. You’re one of only five people who see me as something almost human.”

Sephiroth had faced down angry drill sergeants, angry Wutai troops, and even an angry Genesis, whose reputation for literal explosive outbursts was legendary among SOLDIER with only calm passivity. He had even had to face down Hojo’s anger many, many times in his path. 

He found himself recoiling from Cloud as his scent changed to something bitter.

“GODS DAMN IT!” Cloud exclaimed, “if it wouldn’t result in my death, I’d strangle him to death with his own bowels for what he’s done to you! No one deserves what you’ve been subjected to because of him.”

He relaxed as soon as he caught his own instinctive reaction and then even more when he realized that Cloud’s anger wasn’t aimed at him. The mere fact that Cloud’s fury was over how his upbringing was like touched some deep part of him, gave him comfort in ways that he never knew he ached for. 

“I hate our lives because I… I want… no, need… to tell you that you’re safe and that he’ll never, ever harm you again, but we both know that it’s a lie and I hate it,” Cloud said quietly.

“Almost as much of a lie as the idea that we’d ever be allowed to raise our child,” Sephiroth stated quietly.

“What are you talking about, Sephiroth?” Cloud asked, clearly stunned.

“The moment I give birth, he will likely take our child away and do the same to them as what he has done to me. I find it unlikely that we will even know the gender of our child,” Sephiroth stated, feeling as though he was speaking of something else, like he was detailing what was going to happen to someone else, whether than of the events which were likely to transpire immediately after the birth of his child.

When his words hit his own ears, he found them more distasteful than the existence of his womb. He had always hated how there were always other subjects, other specimens in the torture chambers Shinra called the labs on the simple fact that he believed that the curse of experiencing Hojo’s depravity and sadism should fall to him and no one or nothing else. And it was the fate of his unborn child to be born into and brought up in the same toxic and cruel environment that he had to be subjected to because he was Shinra’s weapon.

“I can’t believe it… it’s like you’re okay with that,” Cloud stated, clearly in disgust.

There it is. 

Cloud’s disgust. Rejection.

And it tore at him bitterly. 

He had been floating on Cloud’s acceptance and the indulgences Cloud bestowed upon him, lavished upon him. And now, he was sinking into Cloud’s disgust and rejection.

It appears everyone rejected him at some point.

“What else can I be? What use would any other emotion but acceptance serve, Cloud? As much as I would love to choose the kind of life they’re born into, there’s little sense in pretending otherwise. I would love to have our child be born into a life full of all the things I never had on account of being Hojo’s experiment, but I refuse to give into the promise of a beautiful lie. No matter what we do, that is going to be the end result, Cloud.”

Cloud clearly didn’t like that as he delivered a sharp glare as he could smell anger and disgust in the air.

He supposed that he should steel himself for a life of loneliness without Cloud. 

“So you’re just going to let that happen? To your own child?!” Cloud exclaimed, “to our child?”

“I don’t see any other alternatives,” he said with a frown, “if we do otherwise, we would have to escape from Shinra and live our lives running and hiding like scared little Chocobo chicks. They will hunt us down with more zeal than they’ve shown with Angeal and Genesis. Our child and I are likely to be taken in alive and if we’re lucky, they’ll do the same with you. The end result for our child would be the same while the end result for us is worse than our present situation since we will be held captive in the same labs I thought I would never be forced to live in again.”

“The actual fuck, Sephiroth! So because there’s a risk of failure, you’re not going to even try?” Cloud accused.

That actually hurt and he found his anger suddenly flared to a level he didn’t expect.

“So you think that I balk at the risk of failure? That the vaguest hint of failure leads to me running away with my tail between my legs?” he spat, “allow me to enlighten you. Failure is always a possibility in the field, in battle there it always the chance of defeat. You can’t always run from failure. You plan around failure, you manage failure. But you don’t risk everything on an all-or-nothing endeavor unless you have some margin of success. Doing otherwise is reckless and is inviting failure and not success. What you’re proposing has less of a chance of working than even the most reckless of any plan I’ve ever concocted and utilized in the war. If anyone had come up with a plan with the same chance for success on the front lines, I’d have dismissed it without a second thought or an explanation. If you try to go that route, I refuse to be a part of it, passively or otherwise.” 

He watched as Cloud climbed out of the tub that was inset into the floor with a huff before toweling himself dry.

“I’m almost glad that your child will be taken from you and raised by someone else. The fact that you’re willing to give them up to Hojo tells me all I need to know about your fantastic parenting skills,” Cloud seethed, “it’s almost like you don’t even care about them.”

“I’m choosing not to get attached to something I’ll be forced to give up,” Sephiroth all but growled.

“Our child isn’t a something,” Cloud spat as he finished drying himself off and worked on getting dressed back in his casual clothes he’d arrived in, “our child is a person - a human.”

“So you’re leaving then,” he said, feeling hurt and angry and a metaphorical kaleidoscope of emotions that he couldn’t name, “running away because you know I’m right.”

“I’m walking away before I punch you in your face,” Cloud growled back.

“That’s only a credible threat because we’re not on equal ground right now. Otherwise, I’d be astounded if you could even reach that high otherwise, let alone if the punch actually landed.”

“How dare you,” Cloud growled before stomping towards the tub.

Sephiroth saw the foolishness of stomping on wet tile with equally wet feet moments before Cloud did. And he was aware that Cloud discovered that when his left foot slid out from under him. Already moving out of the tub once he understood what was likely going to happen, he managed to move so that if he couldn’t catch Cloud, at least he could cushion his fall.

---

Cloud felt the moment his foot slipped out from under him and felt his balance start to falter.

He was going to fall and likely look like the biggest idiot in front of the man he thought was his boyfriend, who seemed to be so dead set on surrendering their child to Hojo of all people.

He braced for impact.

It never came. Instead, he found himself being caught by Sephiroth and braced by a hand on each of his shoulders. The proximity allowed him to breathe his cruel maybe-not-boyfriend-anymore’s scent and he took in the undercurrent of anger, but also pain and sadness. His instincts told him to comfort Sephiroth, to ease his discomfort and make him happy again. 

“Let go of me!” he roared once he regained his balance and fought off Sephiroth’s already loosened grasp before stepping away. 

He knew that he was losing his anger, but not the annoyance towards Sephiroth’s callousness. What kind of person would accept the very real possibility of giving up their child to Hojo, knowing full well what that madman was capable of? All he could feel was disgust that he had been dating someone so vile. 

And yet, he could practically taste Sephiroth’s sadness that drenched the man’s scent which had started right before he proclaimed what he expected their child’s life would entail, the very real fact that Hojo would not even allow them to know their child. As if even Sephiroth himself was not happy about it, but was resigned to it. 

Wordlessly, Sephiroth stepped away and pulled the tub’s plug, allowing the bath water to drain off before reaching for a towel and turned away to dry himself off. He had to inwardly curse at himself for watching how the man’s muscles moved under his skin. Tearing his eyes away from the very real fact that before that night, he had been dating someone who was capable of making him salivate just by his very presence. 

“Why did you keep me from falling?” he asked quietly, finding that he was almost fully dressed - he’d left his socks with his shoes at the door.

“Unenhanced people are far more fragile than SOLDIERs. I didn’t want to see you get hurt,” Sephiroth answered evenly, his tone almost cold.

“I’m not so fragile that I’d break if I fell,” he snapped at the taller man.

“Noted,” Sephiroth stated as he saw the man slip into a pair of boxers, clearly refusing to look at him. He stood in a way that was contemplative before saying, “if it matters any… in the case that I had a say in the matter, I would give you full custody and parental rights of our child and allow you to raise them as you see fit.”

Those words threw him in a loop. Sephiroth would prefer it if he raised their child instead of Hojo? Was there a chance that Sephiroth wasn’t as cruel and callous as to willingly give their child away? That it was merely a forced resignation and not a complete surrender?

“And you were unwilling to commit to the plan of keeping our child away from Hojo earlier. What changed?” he asked with a frown and a little sense of hope.

“Nothing has changed. I did not deceive you when I said that I do not see any alternatives currently and your implied idea of simply deserting Shinra is guaranteed to fail. That does not mean that there aren’t any alternatives and that a plan couldn’t be created which has an acceptable chance at fulfilling our goals. Perhaps it was my mood swings causing me to speak rashly. I… I have always felt as though I don’t… and never will… be able to have full control over all details of my life. That I will always be bound to Shinra and be pulled along by their strings.”

He found himself yearning to hold Sephiroth close, to comfort his… was Sephiroth still his boyfriend? They hadn’t said that the relationship was over, so it was likely that Sephiroth still was his boyfriend. He couldn’t help but to draw himself nearer to his boyfriend whose scent was still oozing pain and sorrow.

“I apologize for my outburst,” Sephiroth said quietly, “you don’t have to remain here with someone who disgusts you.”

“I’m not disgusted by you just with the fact that you seemed to have no problem with handing our child to Hojo without a fight,” he said quietly, “but you… you do have a problem with it, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Sephiroth said quietly, “I’ve always been bothered at the fact that there are other experiments who are forced to suffer Hojo’s depravity outside of myself. And the idea that if nothing is done, our child would become one themself… it’s enough to make me want to murder him myself, consequences be damned.”

“Then why didn’t you say something like that earlier?” he asked with a sigh.

“I… think my emotions were obfuscating my judgment. I have had a trying day after all, with the exception of tonight up until our argument,” Sephiroth said quietly.

He bit the bottom of his lip when he realized that he didn’t want to leave anymore but wanted to spend more time with Sephiroth. That was, if Sephiroth wanted him to stay.

“It’s not like we can’t set the topic aside for now and deal with the problem with clearer heads,” he admitted.

“Agreed. It is inadvisable to brainstorm plans when one is not thinking clearly,” Sephiroth agreed.

“Is it… do you… would you like me to stay?” Cloud asked, hearing his words come out awkwardly.

“If it is your intention to end things here… it would be cruel of you to stay,” Sephiroth stated quietly as he took in the man’s changing scent, which had only become more filled with despair and sadness. 

“I have no intention of ending our relationship, Sephiroth. Not like this. Not unless you want to and judging by your scent, you don’t. We just had a miscommunication and you had a mood swing. I can see that now. And we’re likely to have more arguments but that’s normal. I… I think arguments happen between people when they feel strongly about something… or each other. I… I still want to be with you, Sephiroth.”

As he spoke, he smelled Sephiroth’s scent become brighter and lighter, becoming more like it had been before the argument. Except it was missing that intoxicating note to it which made a part of him thrum with pride and pleasure. As the last of his words left his mouth, Sephiroth moved almost too fast for him to track and he found his boyfriend’s mouth on his, that delicious tongue forcing its way through his surprised slackened lips and tasting him deeply.

He held onto Sephiroth as he felt those arms wrap around him, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened before slowly easing back.

“I still want to be with you too, Cloud,” Sephiroth said quietly, his voice taking on that quality it so often did once they’d been kissing, “shall we retire to my bed and we could continue dealing with all those things weighing down on your mind?”

---

Sephiroth had curled himself around Cloud once they laid down in his bed which always felt so wonderful. Having Cloud like this eased some new and unknown instinct within him, bringing him such a deep state of relief and bliss that if he didn’t keep his mind focused, he would just go catatonic in bliss as he had when he had brought Cloud’s neckerchief with him that night.

“Do you feel comfortable with discussing your other worries?” he asked, seeing that Cloud was lost in thought again.

“Somewhat,” Cloud said quietly, “I admit that I’m not looking forward to telling my Ma this.”

“Must you?” he asked, his mind going back to what had happened in the boardroom, “I…”

His throat suddenly turned dry as the mortification, the feeling of violation, the disgust came flooding back and he grasped Cloud against him as if he felt as though Cloud’s presence could chase away the raw memories.

“Sephiroth?” Cloud asked.

“The reason for my being called to a meeting with the board of directors was so that President Shinra and Hojo could announce my pregnancy and give everyone a chance to congratulate me. Without my awareness or permission,” he explained quietly, “they went on at length, talking about me as if I was an object to them.”

“That’s shitty,” Cloud said before moving to hold him close so that his head was all but pressed against Cloud’s shoulder, “I will never share that with anyone without your permission but my Ma deserves to be made aware that she’s going to be a grandmother.”

“Does she?” he asked in curiosity.

“Mothers tend to want to know when they’re about to become grandmothers and want to see their grandchildren,” Cloud explained, “I’m sure yours would be interested too.”

“I don’t know who she is,” he said quietly, “Hojo told me her name was Jenova and that she died in childbirth but… if what Hollander says is accurate and Jenova was not my mother, then I have no leads on her identity.”

“And your Da?” Cloud asked quietly.

“I have no interest in finding out. There’s too much of a risk of discovering that it was Hojo all along,” he said with a frown.

“I don’t know who my Da is either,” Cloud said quietly, “my Ma looks so sad sometimes when she obviously remembers him. I… I know she misses him sometimes.”

“You believe that she would like to know about our child?” he asked quietly.

“She would murder me if I don’t tell her,” Cloud said with a frown before he moved Cloud so he was protectively curled around the smaller man. “Sephiroth?”

“She would have to get through me if she wishes to kill you,” he responded, feeling rather protective of Cloud.

“I didn’t mean literally,” Cloud said with a sigh, “I meant that she would be very angry with me and that it would be unpleasant.”

He relaxed around Cloud as he said, “I see. Apologies.” He paused before asking, “why are you concerned about informing her?”

“Because I don’t want to explain all of this over the phone because she’d think I’m joking and once she realizes I’m not, she’ll start to poke fun at me,” Cloud said with a sigh.

“And you don’t want that?” 

“It still embarrasses me,” Cloud said with a frown.

“What does?”

He heard Cloud take a deep breath and letting it out before saying, “and that’s the really embarrassing thing about me that I don’t know how you’d react to.”

“I’ll try to keep the teasing to a minimum,” he said, finding himself moving Cloud so he could nuzzle him.

“I’m more worried that you wouldn’t want me anymore,” Cloud said quietly.

“As long as you want me, I’ll want you,” he said, continuing to nuzzle his boyfriend’s neck for some strange reason.

“Okay,” Cloud said, “but I want to look you in the eyes when I make this ridiculous confession.”

He pulled his head away enough to gaze at Cloud’s face, taking in every detail. He saw how Cloud was troubled and concerned by how his lips curled into a frown and the tilt of his eyebrows.

“I was one of your fans,” Cloud said, speaking as though he were revealing a massive secret.

“I know,” he said with a smile, amused that Cloud was making a big deal about something like that, “it was obvious during the mission.”

“No, I mean a huge fan,” Cloud stated.

“Are you implying that as much as I’ve made you scream my name at the heights of your pleasure, you’re no longer a fan?” he asked, quite definitely teasing his boyfriend who was now blushing a deep shade of red at his question.

“Yes. No,” Cloud said, clearly embarrassed and so adorably flustered. Cloud was so easily flustered around him and it was just too amusing and adorable to resist. “I mean I was such a huge fan that I’ve still got posters of you on the walls of my bedroom.”

“I wouldn’t be too surprised if the true can be said about half of all SOLDIER operatives aged twenty and under,” he admitted, “and I know you weren’t really a fan of mine. You were a fan of the image Shinra PR created of me. They are two different people, Cloud. The battlefield victories were mine, but the details surrounding them tend to deviate from reality to make me into some grand hero.”

“So you’re not upset?” Cloud asked.

“As long as you know that I’m different from the heroic figure PR spun based on me, there is no harm done,” he said simply, “and I understand that in time, you will see me for who I truly am and not that narrative.”

“I might already have started to,” Cloud said quietly before moving his head so he obviously had a better angle to kiss him from.

---

Cloud poured everything into that kiss as he felt like he was over the moon. Sephiroth hadn’t been upset or dismissed him because of having been a fan. He no longer had any secrets that Sephiroth didn’t already know and yet the man still pulled him in, still wanted him. As the kiss continued, he started to yearn for more. When the kiss broke to allow them to breathe, Sephiroth’s amazing lips started to drift to his neck before settling there as his boyfriend’s hands moved under his shirt, stroking his skin and causing him to let out moans and shuddering breaths.

“Oh gods, Sephiroth,” he panted as his boyfriend continued to kiss his neck, alternating strokes with his tongue with sucking.

He reached a new level of pleasure when he felt Sephiroth chuckle against his neck before pulling his mouth away with a pop.

There was a moment of silence before Sephiroth said in that near-breathless way, “I apologize. I seem to have left… I believe it’s called a hickey.” 

He didn’t have the wherewithal to react to that fact after having been kissed into bliss by his boyfriend’s lips.

“I believe you said that you had some surprises for the bedroom tonight?” Sephiroth asked, pulling him back to reality.

Oh yeah, he did. He couldn’t keep the smile off his lips at the thought of what he had originally planned. He’d even cleaned the toys before bringing them up in preparation of using them. He pulled away and started to think of the proper positioning before getting up off the bed and stood at the foot of the massive bed, grabbing the paper bag and holding it in his hands.

“We’re going to need you to scootch down so that I can reach everything. You’re probably going to want to rest your legs on my shoulders and lose the boxers,” Cloud explained with a grin.

“So bossy,” Sephiroth jokingly muttered as he moved down to the foot of the bed, pulling the boxers off, revealing that he had a good erection going from the kissing. 

He was certain that he was going to make Sephiroth absolutely scream in pleasure.

---

Sephiroth didn’t know what exactly Cloud had in mind but knew that he could trust Cloud with these kinds of things. Once Cloud indicated that he had moved down enough, he saw his boyfriend set the paper bag on the bed so that the opening was facing Cloud and he couldn’t see what was in it. Carefully, he moved so that his legs were resting on Cloud’s shoulders, easily giving the shorter male access to all of his parts. 

“Okay, relax and let me make you feel incredible,” Cloud said gently, clearly trying to soothe him.

The moment that he took in Cloud’s scent, he couldn’t help but be completely and utterly relaxed. He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes, unable to do anything else but allow Cloud to do what he clearly planned on doing for quite a while. He heard a bottle open and then felt something move at the opening of his anus and knew that it had to be one of Cloud’s fingers as he felt the slimy digit slide in. He felt it move as if to coat as much of his insides as possible before pulling out to add more lube to the finger.

He let out a sigh as he felt two fingers squirm within him, pressing against the walls to coat them in lube before scissoring within him to relax him and stretch him out for what Cloud had in mind for him.

“You’re doing great, Seph,” Cloud said with clear desire dripping from his voice.

That alone had an effect on his body as he felt his penis stiffen as another part was quite definitely warming up. He felt Cloud slide his fingers back out before he felt something else press against that orifice before it started to vibrate. Gently and slowly, Cloud eased some of it within him before pulling back just as gently. On the gentle thrust, Cloud pressed more of the toy into him and he couldn’t help but to let out a groan. Then Cloud just as gently pulled it back until only the tip was within him before gently pushing even more into him and he moaned at the sensation of being filled with the vibrating toy.

“Enjoying yourself?” Cloud asked with some amusement even if he knew that the younger man was likely blushing a deep color and had some amount of uncertainty.

“Immensely. Please continue,” he said, wanting to coax his boyfriend to continue.

“Gladly,” he heard Cloud say moments before he felt his tongue travel up his penis from base to top, causing him to let out another moan as he felt the toy in his ass start to set a slow and pleasant pace.

He couldn’t bite his cry of pleasure back when he felt his boyfriend’s mouth take his tip and suckled on it before running the tip of his tongue over the slit. Already he was almost panting and he had the feeling that Cloud was just getting started. After what felt like a small eternity of incredible bliss, he felt Cloud’s hand move away from his penis and ghosted downward.

He felt Cloud let out a hum which vibrated into his body as he felt fingers explore the area around the organ that he’d never asked for but spontaneously grew anyways. As much as he hated that thing, he knew that it was likely a permanent part of him now and the sooner he got used to it, the better. All thoughts on the matter were wiped from his brain as fingers brushed against something which made his whole body jolt in pleasure with a strangled gasp.

“More,” he gasped as he tried to take in enough air before another jolt of pleasure hit him.

He started moving wildly, completely not in control as whatever it was kept getting brushed again and again and all he could do was gasp and all but leap every time. It was like his body was an instrument and Cloud was figuring out an amazing melody through trial and error. He let out a strangled cry as he felt something push into his vagina before it too started to vibrate.

Slowly the object went through the same process as the object in his ass did and within a period of time that seemed excruciatingly too long and too short, it too was sliding through him at the same slow pace. And all the while, Cloud was lavishing attention on his penis.

A strange sensation pervaded his gut at the same time he was feeling his body tighten around the objects.

“So… close…” he managed to whimper in ecstasy moments before his awareness was overwhelmed by the massive wave of pleasure as he let out a loud cry which sounded not unlike a scream.

---

Cloud thought Sephiroth looked absolutely stunning. He didn’t know if he looked more stunning practically riding both the vibrators and his mouth, slamming his hips from one to the other, or when Sephiroth screamed out his name before collapsing onto the bed in a near boneless puddle of utter bliss. He quickly turned the toys off before gently easing them out of his boyfriend, seeing that he was an absolute daze, his catlike eyes half open and staring off into the distance as his body trembled and twitched. 

A deep part of him was overflowing with pride at the sight of his boyfriend so overcome by pleasure that he had been clearly launched out of his body. He watched as the twitching and trembling slowed and disappeared before Sephiroth came floating back into consciousness.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth said quietly, his voice still almost breathless, “you do know that after such a demonstration as that, I am never going to let you leave me in any permanent manner.”

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine

Cleansing Fire

Angeal knew that it was time they made their move. The sooner, the better for the sake of one of his friends. His honor demanded he do this, as did his bond of friendship. After all, this wasn’t just the honorable thing to do, but the kindest thing he could do for his friend.

“Something on your mind? Perhaps why we’ve been heading in the direction of Midgar lately?” Genesis asked.

“Lots, actually,” Angeal admitted with a frown before giving his eldest friend a smirk, “you do have your fire materia on hand, right?”

“I always do, my friend,” Genesis responded with a smirk, “why do you ask.”

“How do you feel about setting somewhere and possibly someone on fire?” Angeal asked, turning serious.

“Okay, who are you and what did you do with Angeal?” Genesis responded with a skeptical look.

“I think it’s time we make good on one of our mistakes as well as free our friend from his torture. What do you think?”

“I think you need to give me the details of your plan.”

“My plan is that we murder Hojo.”

“Don’t tempt me with forbidden pleasure,” Genesis chided.

“Gen,” Angeal said with a tired sigh.

“Oh Minerva, you’re serious,” Genesis said in surprise before grinning and laughing, “BEST DAY EVER!”

---

Cloud felt tired and sore as he rode the train back towards the tower. It had been a rough mission and he was ready to take a shower and then collapse into his bunk. It had been his second mission and it made his grand total of successful missions remain at zilch. It was so bad that he wondered how Sephiroth would deal with dating such a miserable failure if he were to find out. He hadn’t even contemplated texting him until his phone buzzed.

Boyfriend: Zack will be waiting for you when you arrive at the tower.

I think I’ll pass thanks. I’m exhausted.

Boyfriend: I’m quite certain that Zack would have little issue carrying you.

You’re not going to take no for an answer, aren’t you?

Boyfriend: Especially if I know that your mood is dour.

How do you know what my mood is?

Boyfriend: You normally have little issue with accepting my invitation. I just want to ensure that you’re fine after your mission. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

---

“He really wasn’t kidding when he said that he thought you had a rough day,” Zack said the moment he’d caught up with Cloud.

All Cloud wanted was a shower and to just go to bed and hope that tomorrow would be a better day. He didn’t want to deal with the disapproval he expected from Sephiroth nor Zack’s concern. He just wanted to curl up and sleep the rest of the day away. He was too much of a failure to want to even show his face around Sephiroth. 

“And I really don’t want to deal with his disapproval ‘cause I failed a mission,” he said with a sigh as he was practically dragged into the elevator by Zack - no doubt to add more fuel to the rumor mill that said that he and Zack were an item.

He’d even been given all kinds of hell for dating a SOLDIER First in his unit, forced to do extra work and being run as ragged as they could - which should have exhausted him and not merely wind him. Just what was Hojo putting in him anyways? The elevator doors closed behind him before Zack could respond, leaving them alone in the elevator.

“Did you do your best during your mission?” Zack asked seriously.

“Of course. But that didn’t stop me from failing the mission,” he said with a frown.

“Spiky, as long as you did your best, I know that your boyfriend won’t be upset with ya,” Zack said with a smile. “He may be pretty stern sometimes, but you know he’s reasonable.”

“I know. It’s just that I feel like I failed him,” he said as the doors opened to let them off on their floor, “I really don’t want to face him.”

“Too bad you’re gonna anyways,” Zack said with a chuckle, all but carrying him to Sephiroth’s door.

“Zaaaaack,” Cloud said, struggling to free his wrist from the aforementioned SOLDIER’s grip, “let me go. I don’t wanna do this.”

“And why is that?” a deep voice asked in concern, “is it because of last night or today?”

Cloud’s struggling instantly stopped at the unmistakable sound of Sephiroth’s voice, knowing that his boyfriend was now in the situation and he was no longer able to avoid the taller man. He couldn’t look into his boyfriend’s face in shame of his failure to successfully complete his mission. 

“I failed my mission today,” he said quietly, “I…”

“Hmm?” he heard Sephiroth hum, prompting him to continue.

“I just feel like I’m worthless. Not even worthy of you,” Cloud said quietly.

“You’re not worthless. Not to me,” that deep, silky baritone said in a tone that said that he would not accept any arguments otherwise.

“But I failed my mission today,” he said, frowning as he felt Zack letting go of his wrist.

“Did you perform at the highest level you could?” Sephiroth asked, likely staring down at him but he didn’t dare to look up from the floor where he could tell that Sephiroth was barefoot and his shins were also bare.

Was there anything about this man that didn’t look like he was created by the greatest artist on the face of the Planet?

“Yes but I--” he started to say before Sephiroth interrupted with, “no. Nothing more than a yes or no. Did you perform your mission at the highest level you could?”

“Yes,” he responded simply.

“Then that is all that is required of you. As long as you performed at the pinnacle of your capabilities, then that is all that matters. Just because the mission resulted in failure regardless of your capabilities, it does not matter as long as you were completely focused and, as people tend to put it, did your best. Sometimes there are variables that are unknown and unplanned for at the start of a mission that removes the possibility of victory. In cases where that happens, it’s not so much whether the victory is successful or not that is important, but how one deals with the outcome and its consequences. Even I have failed missions due to such circumstances.”

He dared to look up at Sephiroth’s face, surprised to see that Sephiroth had been leaning so that his face was so very close to his own. Taking a deep breath, he could smell concern and comfort in Sephiroth’s scent, like his boyfriend wanted to comfort him. In those green catlike eyes, he could see the same mix of emotions in how his brow was positioned and the tilt of his lips. More importantly, there wasn’t even a hint of disapproval anywhere on his boyfriend or in his scent.

There was a silent moment that stretched on between them where he just stood there, staring into his boyfriend’s face which was mere inches from his own, so close that he could feel his boyfriend’s exhale. The moment ended when he felt himself being effortlessly picked up in Sephiroth’s hands and was carried into the apartment. It was so sudden that his first instinct was to gasp in surprise.

“Thank you as always, Zack,” Sephiroth stated before the door closed behind them.

“Sephiroth!” Cloud exclaimed, now having gotten over his surprise enough to speak, “what are you doing?”

“Carrying you,” Sephiroth responded lightly as if he were talking about the weather or something inane and mundane.

“I can see that,” he responded in a near growl, “but where are you taking me or why?”

“To the bathroom so I can disrobe you and feed you chocolate covered strawberries in the tub,” Sephiroth stated, “and hopefully avoid any miscommunications this time.”

“You’re… you got me chocolate covered strawberries?” he asked as he was set down on the tiled floor of the bathroom and Sephiroth started to meticulously removing his uniform, starting with quickly untying his neckerchief and paused to give it a deep sniff.

“Yes,” Sephiroth said, setting the neckerchief on a counter with care before starting to work on all his straps and belts, “however, since I didn’t know your preference in chocolate, I got a sampler which has various types of chocolate.”

“You didn’t have to,” Cloud said before huffing, “I can undress myself, you know.”

“I am aware,” Sephiroth said pleasantly, continuing to remove his uniform, “and I wanted to do this for you. I had planned this all day figuring that it would either be a celebration of a successful mission or comforting you for an unsuccessful mission.”

There was something about that which made something within Cloud flutter at Sephiroth’s words and intent. Just the concept that Sephiroth wanted to comfort him warmed him in ways he didn’t expect as he pulled Sephiroth down for a surprise kiss.

---

Somewhere away from the prying eyes of Shinra, a man had just finished getting through the datalocks of a specific disc which had been obtained earlier that day. The man grinned as he took in the data.

“We’re going to need Professor Hojo.”

---

The only thing that a camera on the south side of level 62 recorded before it was destroyed was that one of the large containers which had been delivered to it earlier that day had started to break.

---

“In case you’ve forgotten, I absolutely loathe doing that,” Genesis commented with a deep frown as he threw a few more Thunders at the rest of the cameras he could find which fortunately wasn’t aimed at him.

“It got us in and without drawing attention to ourselves,” Angeal stated as he stretched his arms.

“But it’s so undignified,” Genesis sniffed.

“Gen, focus on our mission,” Angeal stated, “we’re three floors below where we need to go and there’s less surveillance in the stairwells.”

---

The first thing they did once they reached level 65 was to bypass the electronic lock on the stairwell door before taking out every camera they could spot by hitting them with Thunder. Then, it was all a matter of systematically combing through the floor, looking for a particular Professor who was known to never leave these particular labs. They knew that these specifically belonged to Hojo, having collected Sephiroth from his appointments with the slimy scientist in the past.

They now understood why Sephiroth was insistent on meeting them in the elevator. 

There were chambers which had nothing but mako tanks. Then there were the creatures which were clearly mako mutated creatures in tanks and cages. The worst so far was when they found that which looked like they had once been human before something horrible mutated them. 

“What the fuck?” Genesis hissed, “what has Hojo been doing?!”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it,” Angeal whispered as they reached a room which bothered even Genesis.

They opened a door to what was obviously an old cell. The door looked like it had been altered to become more and more reinforced, but even that didn’t stop whatever had been in there from leaving small dents several inches deep in the metal. There was a barred window near the top of the opened door. Whatever had been in there wasn’t there any more.

Angeal looked at Genesis before stepping in, flashing on a flashlight. The room contained a small cot, a desk with drawers and nothing else furniture-wise. He spotted a light switch on the wall, positioned lower than usual. Flicking the switch, the singular overhead light illuminated the small cell which also had an adjoining bathroom complete with a bare toilet and a shower stall. 

He wondered if his hunch was correct as he stepped toward the desk.

“This looks… this makes Sephiroth’s apartment look like the height of luxury,” Genesis muttered quietly as he pulled the top drawer open to reveal workbooks and notebooks which had started to show their age. He grabbed one and opened it to see if the previous occupant had written in them.

He let out a swear under his breath when he saw that the previous occupant had done so and that it had been who he dreaded it had been. 

“Genesis,” Angeal said quietly, passing the opened workbook to his friend, “this was in the desk.”

“Holy…” Genesis whispered, “Are you saying… before he joined SOLDIER, this was his room?! He was raised here?”

“Let’s get going. We still need to find our target,” Angeal said quietly, half to remind Genesis and half to remind himself that they were wasting time rummaging through their friend’s childhood bedroom.

“There’s absolutely nothing here that has any kind of personality,” Genesis sniffed indignantly as he strode out, “barely even livable per anyone’s standards.”

What they’d discovered weighed heavily upon Angeal’s shoulders as he continued, hoping that it was the worst of the horrors they’d find.

They reached a large room which dashed Angeal’s hopes immediately and in the worst way possible.

In the middle of the room was what looked like an examination table except that it had thick metal bindings that Angeal recognized as being far beyond SOLDIER grade. If he were to imagine, they were likely Sephiroth grade restraints. And hanging from the ceiling above the table was a device that had multiple arms, many of which ended in syringes that had points thick enough that even Angeal had to flinch because he knew that those syringes would cause pain as well as fulfil their purpose of injecting Gaia knew what. Some arms ended in scalpels that glinted in the residual lighting. It didn’t pass his perception that the table had channels for liquids to drip down onto the grated floor underneath.

“Sweet Minerva,” Genesis whispered in clear terror, “I… I refuse to believe that Sephiroth…”

“I can’t help but to imagine that this is what he went through during his appointments,” Angeal whispered sadly.

“He needs to suffer,” Genesis spat in what Angeal knew was a mix of anger and grief.

In that moment, Angeal didn’t care if it was honorable to torture Hojo, but it just felt right to force the clear sadist to suffer for a little while.

---

Genesis hated the fact he had an imagination for the first time in his life as he walked away from that torture chamber. He had seen pictures of what Sephiroth had looked like when he’d returned to Midgar after his first tour of duty in Wutai, being celebrated as a war hero. Because of this, he could just see in his mind’s eye the child Sephiroth had been, being restrained and crying out for mercy with tears in his eyes. He also could almost hear Sephiroth’s deep baritone screaming in agony on top of that beautiful scene his mind crafted.

The worst part about it was that if he’d suffered through that, he’d want to be surrounded by his friends and then some. It made Sephiroth’s usual post-Hojo clinginess make sense, how the guy would just insist on being surrounded by them. Just to give him something that wasn’t agony and torture. Just a little bit of warmth.

And because of his stupidity and short-sightedness, he’d stormed off and dragged Angeal into his mess and left Sephiroth to face such things alone. 

“...you wound up leaving me to rot where Hojo did Odin knows what to me!”

“It is clear to me that Hojo may have been correct about one thing. Friendship is a weakness…”

“Gen?” he heard Angeal ask, his tone full of worry.

“What the hell have we done, Angeal?” he couldn’t help but to ask quietly.

---

Cloud couldn’t bite back the low moan that tore its way out of his throat at the feeling of his boyfriend’s mouth around his dick, that wonderful tongue stroking the underside while he sucked as if his dick was a straw. And if that wasn’t enough, Sephiroth’s amazingly long and slender fingers were playing with a bundle of nerves in his ass. And then there were Sephiroth’s contented hums which reverberated down his dick. And all he could do as he rode the waves of ecstatic pleasure was grip the bedsheets and let Sephiroth know just how much he was enjoying what he was doing.

He let out a growl at the fact that he could feel his peak drawing closer, wanting nothing more than to be drowning in pleasure like this longer. 

“Sephiroth,” he moaned, warning his boyfriend.

Clearly Sephiroth understood because the moment he felt his orgasm hit, he swore that Sephiroth pressed his dick straight into his throat. As the first spasm hit, he swore he heard an explosion and felt the room shake with the force of the explosion. Not even a second later, they heard klaxons go off, alerting SOLDIER and Infantry alike to muster to defend the tower.

---

“What do you failures think you’re doing?!” Hojo demanded the moment he came into view.

Angeal didn’t want to speak to that creature as he wordlessly drew the Buster Sword. 

Genesis merely flourished his Rapier and smirked darkly before saying, “there you are. I figured that an explosion would draw you from wherever the hell you were hiding.”

“If this is about my fixing your degradation, you need to ask far more nicely,” Hojo scoffed.

“I refuse to be played with by people like you, Hojo,” Genesis spat as a fireball started to grow in his hands, “not any more.”

Hojo merely scoffed at the two of them before Genesis tossed the fireball before it collided with an M Barrier that had materialized just in time.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that,” Hojo scoffed, “but what should I expect from one of Hollander’s worthless failures who can’t even keep up with Sephiroth?”

---

“Do we know where the explosion originated?” Sephiroth asked into the headset as he ran up the stairs two at a time.

“We believe it occurred on level 65. As you are more familiar with what is on those floors, I will require your advice,” Lazard said over the headset.

“Have Thirds keep non combatants safe and escorted out of the tower. Seconds will need to be stationed on floors 64 and 68 and have orders to attack anything that is not human that comes their way,” Sephiroth stated as he reached the level he needed to access the lift to Hojo’s personal labs.

When he walked out onto the labs, he saw that the floor above was damaged to the point that he could see the next level above. Everything was darker than usual as he noticed that the only lights on in the area were emergency lighting. Before he could take a step further, he heard another explosion, this time it was near and above him.

“Sweet Minerva!” he heard Genesis’s voice cry out in terror from above him.

Taking a moment to gauge his jump, he leapt through the hole and what he saw nearly made him nauseous. 

Hojo was standing in front of Angeal and Genesis, but in place of an arm was an appendage that had no right to be on Hojo’s body. It writhed bonelessly, clearly stretching the muscles as Hojo cackled.

“Now that you’re here, boy, take out the trash for me,” Hojo ordered while cackling.

“Sephiroth, report,” came over the headset.

“One moment please,” Sephiroth stated, getting Angeal’s attention before pointing up at the ceiling.

Angeal responded by flashing a bangle. That meant that all cameras had been fried and no one had eyes on what was going on.

“It appears that whatever caused the explosion triggered some kind of mutation in Professor Hojo and what was once Hojo is going on an incoherent rampage. In my experience, those who get into such a state never recover,” Sephiroth stated, causing Hojo to screech incoherently at him in sheer rage before he pressed the button to stop sending audio.

“How dare you! After all I’ve done for you! I made you into what you are! And this is the thanks I get?!” Hojo screamed before lunging at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth knew he could have easily killed Hojo with the weapon that Hojo had specially trained him for by way of handing him ridiculously oversized weapons as a child. Instead, he purposely stabbed Hojo in a way that the slender odachi passed through without causing damage to any important organs and lifted Hojo’s body in the air.

“Don’t you mean ‘done to me’?” he asked, finding that he was utterly calm regardless of his incredibly pleased mood. “Everything you’ve ever done in my life was for your own amusement and edification, not for my benefit.”

He couldn’t help but to feel great pleasure at seeing the pain and agony in Hojo’s face. He stared unblinkingly at the sight, wanting to etch it into his eidetic memory so that he would never forget this moment. He watched as Hojo struggled to remove himself from the sword that ran through him. With an amused scoff, he effortlessly flicked his wrist which translated to flinging Hojo against a nearby wall. He enjoyed hearing the crack as he heard Hojo’s body collide with the wall before the body crumpled to the ground.

“After all, I don’t see the benefit of you strapping me down for hours on end as you tore skin off of my body just to see how quickly it would regenerate,” Sephiroth stated as he leered down at the scientist, “perhaps that should be the next thing I subject you to.”

“It was a scientific necessity!” Hojo defensively screeched as he unsteadily pushed himself to his feet as bones popped and cracked as he grasped the wall.

“Then why were you laughing in glee every time I begged for mercy?!” he demanded as he noticed that the wound he’d inflicted should still be bleeding. 

“Because I was making the discoveries of a lifetime!” Hojo proclaimed, “do you not understand the scientific achievement that you are, Sephiroth?! My greatest creation! In more ways than one!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Genesis exclaimed.

“I was far more involved in all aspects of your creation than you think, boy,” Hojo said with a wide grin.

“There is nothing you can say - no deceit nor truth - that will stay my hand, Hojo. You will not live to see the dawn,” Sephiroth stated as he sliced with Masamune, making sure all he delivered were multiple shallow cuts, “I can’t allow you to. For my sake. For Cloud’s sake. And for my child’s sake.”

“You have a kid, Seph? Since when?” Genesis asked, clearly stunned.

“You think I’ll let you kill me? How quaint,” Hojo responded as his strange limb changed into something that had rigid plates that had sharp protruding spikes and ended in a sharp end.

The limb proved to be able to extend further than expected and he had to fend it off with Masamune. Sparks flew from where the blade met the spiked plates before the spikes flew from the limb before becoming what looked to be worms mid-air. He moved out of the way moments before the projectiles were incinerated with a wave of fireballs.

“We’ll follow your lead, Sephiroth,” Angeal stated.

“After what we’ve seen, this ugly worm deserves a fiery death,” Genesis said with a flourish of Rapier.

It was obvious that toying with Hojo would only end with more injuries. He had to be serious in this fight. He reached out with his awareness, sensing something about Hojo. Of course, he never reached out like this in the man’s presence before, but he didn’t show up like an unenhanced human nor SOLDIER. He was something other.

This was well and truly a monster.

The three of them attacked as one, a skill honed by sparring and training together for so long. He could read the slightest movement they made and knew that they could read his just as clearly. He and Angeal lunged as Genesis charged up another volley of fireballs, one of their usual attack patterns.

He pinned the disgusting limb by blocking it with Masamune as he heard Hojo cry out as flesh was easily cut through. Both of them jumped back moments before the fireballs flew through where they stood and collided with a stunned Hojo. Once the fireballs dissipated, what was left was a thoroughly scorched Hojo whose clothing had been burned away and his skin was nothing but charred flesh. 

By all rights, he should have died and Sephiroth knew that.

Instead, Hojo tilted up his blackened head to the ceiling and laughed. Hojo laughed as the alien limb merely shook violently, clearing ash and dead material from it, causing it to sheen due to the presence of various fluids. He continued to laugh as the charred skin cracked as it rippled like a lot of objects were moving under the surface. He noticed as Hojo’s voice changed, the laughter becoming distorted as the man’s neck started to bulge obscenely.

Angeal made a motion to attack while Hojo’s form altered and he stopped his friend by holding up Masamune.

“If he wants to die in the form of a monster, let him,” Sephiroth stated, “let him become the monster he always was deep down.”

“INSOLENT BOY!” Hojo screamed as a new limb came bursting out, looking like a tentacle that split into many ends as Hojo’s mouth split in a way that looked more insectoid than human as his neck lengthened. “I AM NO MONSTER!”

He heard the sound of something tearing and ripping as fleshy, deep purple protrusions emerged from Hojo’s back and unfurled into membranous wings not unlike a bat’s or a dragon’s but where a bat would have claws, there were only many-ended tentacles and where the bones jutted out from the bottom of the wings were curled and vicious spikes.

The charred skin peeled away as what appeared to be dark blue and purple chitinous plates emerged, looking almost like an insectoid exoskeleton, protecting the once-man’s expanding trunk that barreled out. The charred skin peeled away from once human legs to reveal dark purple scaly hide that covered legs which were disformed and angled just wrong enough to be disturbing even to Sephiroth’s mind. The legs ended in claws that looked like cruel implements of torture.

But the worst of the changes was Hojo’s face. In place of hair were silver tendrils that were the same length his hair had been before it was burned away, moving and curling in ways that disgusted Sephiroth. Jagged, winding horns jutted out from Hojo’s brow, with a curve that made them stand over the silver tendrils. What caught his attention were Hojo’s eyes which looked too huge. They glowed blue. But more importantly to Sephiroth, they were slitted like his own. 

“I AM A GOD! THE PINNACLE OF ALL LIFE THIS PATHETIC PLANET FULL OF WORTHLESS SIMPLETONS HAS CREATED!” Hojo proclaimed in a deep roar which sounded as if the man’s sense of reason had gone on an extended vacation away from his mind.

What mind was still in the foul beast Hojo had become.

“Blasphemy!” Genesis proclaimed, “you are more a monster than either of us!”

The fight had been long and grueling as he noticed that Hojo was tiring faster than everyone else. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as the monster of his nightmares was flagging, slowly succumbing to its imminent defeat. Soon, he would be free of this beast. But it wasn’t going to be an easy victory for him as he knew he’d received enough wounds that he was likely going to need to take a handful of hours to recuperate, even with all the Curas and Curagas Genesis was sending his way.

He saw Hojo’s head jolt backward before he heard the report of a gun.

“So that was Hojo?” he heard a calm voice ask.

“It seems so,” Sephiroth stated.

“I still am!” the beast roared, “Hojo who shall rule this Planet!”

“Not if we have anything to say about it!” another voice exclaimed before he saw explosives land at the beast’s feet as he and Angeal backed away moments before they exploded.

He didn’t know what was louder - the explosion itself or the beast’s roar as its legs crumbled under it, unable to keep its body up. The plates had cracked and in places removed, the wounds having sealed almost immediately. 

“Angeal, Genesis, remove the arms and ensure that none grow in their place while you keep it still,” Sephiroth said, knowing that he sounded calm while he was practically grinning.

“INSOLENT BOY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING DEFILING ME?!” the beast roared moments before Angeal and Genesis went to work.

“What I think I’m doing is ending your existence,” Sephiroth stated in his calmest voice, knowing that he was grinning almost rapturously, “and if my mother is well and truly dead, tell her that her son says hello.”

With that, he started to hack at the plates covering the beast’s chest until they shattered. With glee, he approached the struggling, howling beast. Oh yes, this moment was one of the best moments of his life, second only to the pleasure of the previous night. As he drew closer, he could see the skin knitting back together after the last slash had cut into the flesh. 

He balled up a fist as he crouched down near the beast’s chest before forcing his gloved hand into the beast’s chest, breaking through bones and muscle with the full strength of his arm until he could feel a pulsating muscle that he knew had to be the monster’s heart. Clenching it in his hand, he heard the beast howl as he yanked the fowl muscle out of the chest, holding it up between their faces so both he and the thing that Hojo became could watch it slowly stop beating, ensuring that it was the last thing Hojo ever saw.

He watched, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of agony and terror as life flickered and died in the creature’s face as he heard it breathe its last breath.

Hojo was dead.

The monster that terrorized his entire life up to this moment was gone.

He was free.

Cloud was free.

His child will be born free, unknowing of the fate, the life it nearly had.

---

Zack collected Cloud once the all-clear was given and brought him to Sephiroth’s door. He’d been nervous since for the last two hours, he’d been getting this feeling that Sephiroth was quite happy. He didn’t know why he would be getting this feeling while the tower was on lockdown and it served to make him even more worried. What if this was a different kind of mental breakdown than what happened in Modeoheim?

“He said that he asked the Turks to give your ID permission to get to this level and to open his door,” Zack answered, “he also said that you can just walk in.”

The moment that door opened, an array of scents assaulted his nose. On top of it all, he smelled blood and lots of it. Then there was something that smelled… off and unpleasant. And at the bottom of the pile was Sephiroth’s scent which was dripping with happiness, contentment, and pleasure. He just hoped that Sephiroth was fine.

He stepped in, giving Zack a worried look. Zack returned his worried look with a silly grin and two thumbs up before Cloud closed the door. If Zack didn’t seem worried about Sephiroth, that had to mean that Sephiroth wasn’t homicidal. 

“In here, Cloud,” Sephiroth called out from what sounded like the bathroom.

As he approached the bathroom, all the scents grew stronger, making his eyes water due to how strong they were. As he reached the doorway, he saw Sephiroth, covered in wounds which were dripping blood, using the bathroom mirror to help him clean out his wounds. While grinning ear to ear and humming under his breath.

That bit was so out of Sephiroth’s usual manner that it worried him. Just what the hell happened to his boyfriend?

“Sephiroth? What happened?” Cloud asked, worried for his boyfriend.

“The explosion was Genesis’s doing,” Sephiroth said, sounding absolutely cheerful, “he and Angeal infiltrated the tower to kill Hojo themselves. Apparently, Hojo was able to turn himself into a monster. I told Lazard over the radio that Hojo had mutated and was too far gone and was going on a rampage. I shoved my hand into that monster’s chest and pulled out his heart. Hojo’s dead, Cloud. I killed him.”

All he could do was stare at Sephiroth who, the night before had seemed so willing to surrender to Hojo. And he admitted to killing the scientist.

“I thought you were saying how you were powerless against him,” Cloud said, “what changed?”

“What changed was that I got an opportunity to kill him without any negative repercussions. Of course I would take advantage of such an opening to remove an enemy like Hojo,” Sephiroth said before hissing as the alcohol-soaked wipe touched a rather wicked looking wound.

“Let me take care of your wounds, alright?” Cloud offered with a smile, “you need a break.”

“Gladly,” he said, motioning to the supplies he laid out on a small folding table he set up.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten

Freedom and Family

A sea of green stretched ever onwards without beginning nor end, full of voices - some laughing, some crying, some whispering, and some weaving tales. Everything that people - humanity was - existed here, a sea of human experience. Except for over there, where a dark amorphous stain existed, never stationary, always moving. Sometimes it floated languidly, taking nibbles out of any vaguely human shaped forms made of green light that got too close, other times it darted quickly and created eddies and waves within this sea of green light.

But now, it undulated and moved with purpose as if it were searching.

“Insolent brat!” the cry echoed through the sea, the voice nasal and tone full of venom.

It came from a vaguely human form but the form wasn’t made of the same bright green strands of light others commonly were. No, this form was stained deeply. It was stained so deeply that it almost matched the dark stain in the sea. The same dark stain which had shifted course suddenly, heading straight on a collision course with the stained human.

Uncertainty and fear rippled out over the sea as the stained human shape joined with the amorphous stain with a disturbing exultant cry.

---

Aerith woke up in a cold sweat, not understanding just what she saw in her dream but knew it was a message of some sort. Before she could dwell too much on it, she heard her mom call up the stairs for her.

“Aerith, Tseng is here for you!” 

She bolted out of her bed and poked her head out of her bedroom door before calling down, “I’ll be right there!”

She hurriedly got dressed before running down to join her mom and Tseng. Tseng gave her a small smile from where he sat at the table, having been served a cup of tea.

“You don’t usually come for a visit so early in the morning, so what happened?” she asked with a feeling of some vague sort of dread as she hoped that it wasn’t that Tseng had been sent to drag her back to the labs, to Hojo.

“At about two in the morning, Hojo died,” Tseng stated, “it appears that he had somehow got in contact with a substance that mutated him into a monster and was killed to prevent him from going on a rampage and harming more people. As such, my department no longer needs to be as involved as it has been in your life. We will still keep in touch and I imagine many of my coworkers will still visit you but it would be their choice and not a part of the job.”

She didn’t know what it said of her when she cried tears of joy at the news of Hojo’s death.

---

Veld stood before President Shinra’s desk, seeing the man eye him to figure out exactly what kind of news to expect.

“I’ve come to report on last night’s incident,” he said, offering the file he held in his hands to the President who accepted the file with a nod.

“The explosions on level sixty-five were related to the fact that Professor Hojo appeared to have mutated into a monster due to exposure to unknown substances. We may never know whether this is due to an accidental exposure or not. All that is known is that once I had people on the scene, they reported seeing SOLDIERs First Class Sephiroth, Hewley, and Rhapsodos in combat with the already mutated Hojo who proclaimed that he was to rule the planet. Sephiroth had his cohorts restrain the creature before delivering the finishing blow before all three SOLDIERs left the scene, leaving my department to deal with the body. The folder contains the few images we have of the combat as well as the results of the autopsy of the corpse.”

He watched as the President flipped through the images with a deep frown and scanned the reports with a scowl before closing the folder and looking at him.

“I see,” the President said, “we will need to fill the vacated position immediately. I believe I have just the individual in mind. I am aware that his… issues… that led to his state of affairs have been resolved with Hojo’s departure. I want him and his two experiments to be interviewed by your department. If you can determine that they would return to the fold and will be loyal, I don’t see why they can’t do so under a lengthy probationary period.”

---

Sephiroth strode through the halls of the SOLDIER floor, feeling lighter than he had ever felt. He felt so light that he was uncertain if he was hovering over the floor. All the tension that he’d felt in his body all his life was gone, replaced with a sort of bone-deep sense of relief. 

But what caught his attention was the fact that everyone took one look at him and shied away or hurried past him away from where he was heading. He could read fear on their faces. 

That was odd. He knew he had a tendency towards accidentally intimidating other SOLDIERs, but scaring them was a new one on him.

It wasn’t until near lunch time that Zack walked into his office as he was wont to do. 

“You okay Seph?” Zack asked, getting a raised eyebrow in response.

“What did you call me?” he asked, surprised and uncertain.

Was this a normal human thing he’d missed out on? 

“Seph,” the teen answered with a grin, “are you familiar with nicknames at all?”

“Not in the personal sense. Mind explaining the details to me?” he asked, staring at Zack.

“Nicknames are just other names you call people you consider friends. Sometimes they’re shortened versions of their names or an inside joke,” Zack stated.

“Like Puppy?” Sephiroth asked with a smile.

“I swear I’m gonna give Angeal a piece of my mind when I see him next,” Zack said with clear annoyance.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to deal with you sacrificing your faculties and opening one’s cranium is dangerous and painful,” Sephiroth said with a slight shiver.

“What are you talking about?” Zack asked, looking confused and more than a little horrified.

“You were talking about opening your cranium and handing Angeal a piece of your brain, no?” Sephiroth asked, “or is this one of those turns of phrases that I’m talking literally?”

“The latter, Seph. Definitely the latter,” Zack stated, looking less horrified, “clearly you are just fine.”

“Hojo is dead by my hand. Why wouldn’t I be fine for a change?” he asked, going right back to confusion.

“It’s just that everyone is worried you might be unhinged or having a rough time dealing with Hojo’s passing since everyone knows there’s some sort of connection between the two of you,” Zack said, sitting down, “you wanna talk about it?”

He let out a sigh before saying, “Zack, the only connection I will acknowledge having with Hojo is that I was his favorite victim of his sadism and depravity. It was these qualities of these that… made me what I am now,” he said looking away from Zack, “I… feel as if I’m even less human because of what he’s inflicted upon my person. Because of this, killing him was the second greatest experience of my life so far. What I feel now that he is dead is elation and knowing that I will never be subjected to the torture chamber he calls a lab. The only grief I feel is that I couldn’t have done this sooner and save myself some pain.”

“Seph,” he heard Zack say quietly, “I don’t care what you are now because of what he did to you. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re so obviously human where it counts most.”

---

Tseng remembered how easy it had been to corral Hollander and escort him to the tower for the interview. Getting Angeal and Genesis to surrender was far more easily done considering their encounter in Modeoheim and understanding their reasons and that they had a momentary lapse of judgment caused by a temporary mental break. That was what he had the official report say and that he recommended that Angeal and Genesis were reinstated due to their understandable momentary lapse coupled by the fact that they had performed an essential service to the company by assisting Sephiroth in the defeat of a very powerful mutated monster which would have threatened the Midgarian public if not the Planet itself.

As far as Hollander was concerned, he looked absolutely gleeful over hearing the details, wanting to see the findings of the autopsies performed on the beast’s corpse before it was disposed of. He was obviously quite pleased with the prospect of gaining Hojo’s position, regardless of probationary period and its length as it was the bad blood between him and Hojo that led to the whole sordid affair.

In the end, the President had given Hollander the position that had once belonged to Hojo and reinstated both Angeal and Genesis on the basis that all Genesis clones were surrendered to the company. 

---

It was one of those rare times that Zack had invited both Cloud and Sephiroth to his quarters. Cloud found himself almost concerned with how Sephiroth looked like he couldn’t stay still as Zack spoke to them.

“So I was thinking we should throw them a big bash now that they’re back,” Zack said excitedly, clearly not noticing that Sephiroth wasn’t giving his full attention to Zack’s spiel.

“Sephiroth?” Cloud asked, looking up at his boyfriend who had been much more open with showing his emotions since Hojo had died, “what’s wrong?”

“I apologize, Zack, but I can’t stay here any longer or I may just clean your quarters,” Sephiroth said as he got up.

Zack looked at Sephiroth with absolute stars in his eyes and a wide grin, “what would you want in return for cleaning my room?”

“What?” Sephiroth asked.

And that inevitably led to Sephiroth practically becoming a human cleaning machine as he quickly and efficiently made quick work at cleaning Zack’s quarters, pausing only to make a face or sounds of either exasperated disgust or the once where he asked, “Zackary, how in Ifrit’s name do you let this get so bad!? That’s it, I’m coaching you on keeping your living area clean.”

---

It had been the first day that Angeal and Genesis returned to SOLDIER when they walked into Sephiroth’s office halfway through the morning. He could read a sort of deep sadness of some kind on his friends’ faces, like something was bothering them. As soon as Genesis stepped into the office, he quietly closed the door behind him. Silently, his two friends sat down on the chairs in front of his desk.

“Look, we both owe you an apology,” Angeal said quietly, “I was too busy thinking of myself and how much of…” He saw Angeal take in a deep breath before saying, “when I found out about my origins… I hated myself. I saw myself as something horrible. I was too busy hating myself to think… to realize that you didn’t. And when I saw what I did in that torture chamber… knowing that was what you always faced alone… knowing that we… abandoned you to face that without any sort… without having something to greet you on the other end of it all…”

“We saw the table with restraints that were beyond what was required for most SOLDIERs with that… machine,” Genesis said quietly, “I couldn’t keep myself from hearing the screams, the pleas for mercy… Just knowing that was your childhood… I’m sorry for everything, Sephiroth.”

“As long as you ensure you two don’t make the same mistake a second time, I will work towards forgiving you both,” Sephiroth stated, “forgiveness is something I am unfamiliar with so please be patient.”

“Thanks, Sephiroth,” Angeal said, giving him a small smile.

“I’ll… try not to be as much of a jerk, but I make no promises,” Genesis offered with a small smile himself.

It was then that Angeal and Genesis stood up, their actions telling him that they were about to leave.

“Before you leave,” he stated, “Zack, Cloud, and I are putting together a get together at my quarters tonight and we wanted to invite the two of you. I… have a bit of an announcement to make.”

---

Sephiroth knew that his cooking was sufficient - better than the usual kitchen fire and charred food that resulted from Genesis’s attempts and Zack’s food poisoning inducing escapades, but was nowhere near the quality that Angeal was legendary for. After all, all cooking was following instructions and it was one of the skills Hojo ensured he had. Cloud also had a bit of a skill in the kitchen, allowing his usual sufficient cooking was improved, but he had to warn him to be careful with certain spices lest it would set off his sensitivities and he’d have to hurriedly excuse himself to the bathroom.

Fortunately, dinner went off with a hitch without anything curling his stomach as stories were exchanged in front of Cloud who excitedly absorbed them. He ensured that Cloud understood that his presence was because he desired to have all those he held dear in attendance and to explain to everyone what had happened. 

However, things started to get tedious as Genesis started opening bottles of wine and the wine emitted a foul stench which made his stomach curl as it did whenever his morning sickness started acting up.

“Please keep it away from me. It smells rancid to me,” Sephiroth said, knowing he was likely turning green in the face, as they say.

“Sephiroth, what’s wrong? The wine smells just fine to me,” Genesis said before taking a testing whiff.

“Genesis, please,” Angeal said gently, “I believe the cause for it is what he wishes to tell us.”

He merely nodded before giving Cloud a glance long enough to see Cloud give him a nod.

“The most recent experiment Hojo inflicted upon my person for his own amusement was first tested upon Cloud,” Sephiroth stated, “I have reason to believe that the results Cloud manifested was deemed worthy of inflicting upon my person. However, I did not exhibited these same symptoms. Instead, for two weeks, I suffered from slowly increasing irritation and mood swings, abdominal pain, headaches, and nauseating sounds from my abdomen. In the hours leading up to my reporting to Hojo due to my symptoms and lack of findings, I was feverish and was bleeding from my perineum.”

Sephiroth waited, allowing for Genesis and Zack to grasp what he had explained, getting a confused expression from Zack.

“Excuse me, Seph, you were bleeding from your what?” Zack asked.

“His taint,” Genesis said, looking sick, “or do I need to explain what that is to you too?”

It was then that even Zack was looking queasy, “so that was when you were having a rough time before you disappeared for a few days.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth answered, “and I disappeared for a few days because I… I believe that something within Cloud and I was triggered when he arrived at the labs while I was in a room there due to proximity. Both of us lost the ability to control our bodies as… the results of Hojo’s experimentation upon my person… the experiment left me disfigured… where I’d been bleeding. Hojo… turned me into a hermaphrodite. And when we lost control of our bodies, we coupled at least once. We can’t be entirely certain since we both blacked out shortly afterwards, coming to in different rooms a day and a half afterward. The incident has left me pregnant.”

“If Hojo wasn’t dead yet, I would have killed him for this,” Genesis proclaimed loudly, anger and fury dripping from his words.

“Hold on. So you’re saying that you grew… girl bits… and the two of you lost control and went at it and now you’re pregnant?” Zack asked, looking very uncomfortable.

“That is indeed what transpired,” Sephiroth said with a nod.

“We discussed the incident once we got back from Modeoheim and we’ve been together ever since with Zack’s help,” Cloud said with a shy smile, leaning against Sephiroth’s arm.

“Which you no longer need to do since Hojo no longer is a concern and Cloud isn’t in SOLDIER,” Sephiroth stated with a smile.

“I’d still like to be,” Cloud stated with a frown.

“And you’re keeping the child?” Genesis asked, more curious than anything.

“Yes. There is no reason to abort since Hojo no longer poses a threat to our child and seeing as how Hollander was working with the two of you and neither of you seem to have been tortured the way I have, I have reason to suspect that Hollander is unlikely to steal my child from me the moment they are born like Hojo would have,” Sephiroth stated.

“I can’t see him doing that to you either,” Angeal said with a nod.

“He’s a manipulative asshole but he’s not a sadist. If he does try to steal my little niece or nephew, I will burn him to a crisp,” Genesis proclaimed.

“I will get the kid all the toys,” Zack said excitedly, “I bet they’ll be sooo cute!”

“Fine, then I’ll make sure the child has proper clothing!” Genesis announced.

“Zack, Genesis, neither of you have to get the child anything,” Sephiroth said, feeling quite uncomfortable with the fact that his friends wanted to do so much for his unborn child.

“We want to,” Genesis said with a frown, “so hush and let me spoil my niece and nephew. This is what families do, Sephiroth.”

“But we don’t have any genetic ties,” Sephiroth said with a frown.

“There’s multiple types of family, Sephiroth,” Angeal said with a smile, “there’s the family you’re born into by blood, then there’s the family bound by blood that has been shed together and then there’s the family you build and choose yourself. We’ve been through too much together to not be family, Sephiroth.”

“Angeal’s right,” Cloud said with a smile, looking into his eyes.

It was then that his mood swings got out of hand and he started to openly and uncontrollably weep.

Damn pregnancy hormones.

---

In some shadows out of sight, people gathered together.

"I have heard that Hojo became some kind of monster and went on a rampage until some SOLDIERs killed him."

"I needed him! I wanted him to see my accomplishments built upon his research!"

There was a knock on the door and several people took defensive positions before the door was opened. A team of people wearing form concealing clothes and red goggles laughed mindlessly as they dragged... a thing into the room.

"Look at what we found on its way to be incinerated?" one of the non-Raven operatives proclaimed.

"Is that... what I think it is? IT IS! Bring it to the lab at once! I need to know what happened!"

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven

Icicles and Darkness

He chortled to himself as he looked at the petri dishes, unable to restrain his glee from his findings. Whatever Hojo had done to himself, it caused his cells to behave in unusual ways. He knew that the cadaver had expired close to two weeks previously and yet it failed to show evidence of cellular death and he now can see why. His cells ate each other, cannibalizing themselves and multiply at the same rate, reaching equilibrium. 

But that wasn’t all he found.

The cells consumed mako, prompting increased cellular growth.

He needed to know the details and time was running out.

With Hojo’s death, the longer he toyed with the cadaver and its cells, the more of Hojo’s research was destroyed, put into storage, or was handed off by those who had no understanding of Hojo’s greatness. Simply put, they were unworthy.

But he… he was worthy and he would further Hojo’s great work.

And maybe, just maybe, he would create his own masterpiece which would dwarf everything else that Hojo had hidden in the tower.

But first… he needed to see what happened if these cells were introduced into one of the Ravens. And one of the volunteers his Ravens had gathered for him. Yes, he wanted to see how the cells would react to being introduced into the circulatory system of someone who had been exposed to mako.

So much work to do and not enough time, indeed.

---

Cloud reported to the labs as he had originally been instructed by the now dead Hojo, simply out of habit. Outside of the whole thing that happened with Sephiroth, his visits to the labs weren’t horrible since all that he had to do was eat the rather large portions of food which were set in front of him and the food was much better than most cafeteria grub. As usual, one of the assistants set the plate stacked with food in front of him and left him to eat.

He was definitely not used to such amounts of food but found that within three weeks of being fed and given evening injections, he rapidly reached the point that if he didn’t eat such amounts, he’d wind up hungry long before the next meal, telling him that whatever was in the injections, it had increased his metabolism.

“I’d like to talk to you since you’re here,” Hollander said before sitting down in front of him, “I’ve been going over the sparse notes Hojo kept and I think I’ve been able to piece some things together and I figured that you’d want to know.”

He merely swallowed his mouthful of food and nodded, his attention now on the scientist who was likely not as bad as the one who recently died.

“He was seeing how a dormant gene common to Nibelheim natives worked when activated. After two weeks, he decided that your growth wasn’t extreme or rapid enough for his liking so he started giving you a sort of booster shot every afternoon,” Hollander said with a frown, “I had to look into his materials and I believe I’ve managed to figure out at least three of the components of the injection. If you don’t mind my asking, could you tell me what the liquid looked like?”

“It was a sort of… dark color that glowed like mako,” Cloud said with a frown as he remembered the appearance.

“That sounds like what I managed to produce when I combined the three components,” Hollander said with a frown, “I can understand why he used two of the components but not the third…”

“What are these components?” Cloud asked with a frown.

“J Cells harvested from a culture, mako, and cell samples taken from Sephiroth himself,” Hollander said with a frown, “the strain of J Cells are commonly known in the labs as being one of the two components used in enhancing individuals before they start their training within SOLDIER. But Sephiroth’s cells…? He might have thought they would confer some sort of quality of Sephiroth’s into you. After all, he too was born with J Cells introduced into his body in the womb much like Genesis and Genesis can confer his abilities onto others in the form of copies.”

“If I’ve been getting mako injections, why haven’t I seen any signs?” Cloud asked with a frown.

“Considering the amounts, you’d have to go through another month of injections to start to show the outward signs of mako exposure,” Hollander said with a frown before asking, “have you noticed any unusual symptoms or abilities?”

He didn’t know if he should tell Hollander that sometimes, he swears he could pick up Sephiroth’s emotional state even without seeing him or texting him. Like right that very moment, he knew that Sephiroth is still very pleased and relaxed like a lounging house cat who found a sunbeam. Then there’s the fact that he was able to exert some control over Sephiroth simply through scent. He was also certain that when they had the argument in the bathroom, Sephiroth’s scent had calmed him as well. 

“A few but I don’t feel comfortable sharing,” he said with a frown.

“Just be aware that we don’t fully know how the S Cells will affect you. They may have no effect or they may possibly mutate you. Until we know more, I don’t want to continue the injections. Whether you have meals here or not will also be up to you. All I will insist on is a daily checkup to monitor any and all external effects of whatever Hojo’s been doing to you.”

---

Sephiroth strode into the labs, deciding it was best to handle any and all examinations and tests Hollander wished to inflict upon him before dealing with his Monday, the first one since he had ensured and watched Hojo’s demise. It also happened to be Hollander’s first official day in Hojo’s old position so he decided to follow his routine of dealing with the labs the first thing in the morning and get it out of the way so it was no longer plaguing him for the rest of the day.

But it was vaguely different because he could pick up Cloud’s scent, which wasn’t the unusual thing. What was unusual was that it was fresh enough for him to follow. The trail of his boyfriend’s scent led him to what he knew as the labs’ break room, where Cloud was eating breakfast and speaking with Hollander.

He watched with amusement as he saw Cloud take a deep breath, clearly noticing his scent moments before his eyes met his own with a smile. Hollander was facing away from him so the scientist had clearly failed to notice his approach.

“Good morning Cloud, Professor Hollander,” he greeted from the doorway, seeing the Professor jump.

That was something he’d never been able to do to Hojo and he wondered if it was because Hollander had reason to fear him. He decided on the spot that having the fear of the Director of the Science Department would be quite beneficial. Fear of him would protect not just himself but Cloud and their unborn child. 

“Sephiroth!” Hollander exclaimed, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Hojo had me report in once a day so he could monitor my condition,” he explained, “I felt it prudent to check in with you since it’s your first official day in your new position.”

“He kept sparse notes on your recent development,” Hollander said, “it might actually be best if you join us for that discussion. We’ve merely been going over what I do know concerning his own changes and more details may come to light with your own questions and observations.”

This was a change, one that he felt uncertain about. However, he relished the idea of spending more time around Cloud. He gave Hollander a cursory nod before sitting at the table next to Cloud, slowly moving so that their bodies touched under the table. A frown settled on his lips as he could tell that Cloud’s scent changed subtly, adding something that he couldn’t place.

“I should probably start from the beginning,” Hollander stated, looking straight at him, “Hojo was experimenting on Cloud since his genome has a dormant gene that is similar to one that he couldn’t identify within you. He clearly was testing to see the effects of activating the gene would have on Cloud. He also wanted to eliminate as many variables as possible so he controlled his diet by having him take his meals here. After two weeks, he deemed that the effects were too slow and subtle to wait so he started giving Cloud a kind of booster shot that I believe was composed of mako, J cells, and your own cells.”

He narrowed his eyes at Hollander, knowing that Genesis’s own cells allowed him to create and control human based copies while Angeal had a similar ability but with animals. What could his own cells do, especially to his boyfriend and the father of his child? He decidedly did not like this development.

“And I assume J cells being cells taken from Jenova,” Sephiroth said, still feeling odd with saying her name despite the likely knowledge that Jenova was not his mother and Hojo had lied to him.

Which was to be expected. He’d caught Hojo in too many lies to take anything he had said at face value. But what could J cells do? He supposed that based on what he’d learned, J cells were the basis of the abilities Angeal, Genesis, and himself exhibited. Another implication he didn’t appreciate. 

“Correct,” Hollander said with a nod.

“And I suppose that the mako dosage Cloud has received, he wouldn’t show many physical signs of exposure beyond increased muscle mass,” Sephiroth stated, still frowning.

“Correct,” Hollander said, nodding again, “I’m still looking at all of Hojo’s projects and figuring out what exactly was going on and how many of them are best stopped or scrapped. I do have a few questions for you if you don’t mind my asking.”

“Certainly, Professor,” Sephiroth said, still uncertain as to whether how much Hollander could be trusted. 

After all, Hollander took advantage of Genesis’s condition, which was still left uncured. If Hollander continued to allow Genesis to waste away longer than absolutely necessary, he was going to have to encourage Hollander to cure Genesis. If not, he didn’t mind setting up a similar set of circumstances as what had transpired with Hojo now that he knew that he could do so.

“Have you encountered any unusual symptoms lately?” Hollander asked.

He couldn’t keep himself from laughing for a moment before his laughter died down.

“How long do you wish for me to take listing every single symptom I deem unusual?” he asked with a lot of amusement.

“As long as you wish to take,” Hollander said, “if you don’t feel comfortable discussing it here, I have no problem moving the conversation elsewhere.”

“I don’t mind it if Cloud is involved in this conversation, although I doubt he’d know what’s unusual since he has never seen me at my normal,” he said with a slight frown.

Cloud merely gave him a smile, saying, “It’s okay, Sephiroth. I’m here.”

“I am still in the grasp of illogical mood swings, my already sensitive olfactory senses are even more enhanced to the point that certain scents induce nausea, I am also nearly constantly nauseous to a degree, constant fatigue, breast tenderness, food cravings which usually hit me at random times regardless of whether I am truly hungry or not, frequent urination, a feeling of--”

“Sephiroth,” Hollander said, interrupting his list with an air of tiredness that quite definitely made him think of Angeal, “you’re listing symptoms that are expected and normal for pregnancies.”

“And the fact that until very recently, I only had one set of reproductive organs makes these symptoms unusual on account that I was never prepared to be pregnant,” he said, knowing that his mood was swinging and he was fighting against the tears which were welling up, “I never expected nor wanted this. And I…”

He suddenly felt himself being pulled into an embrace, Cloud running a hand over his head in that soothing motion he’d discovered that he utterly adored. He could almost hear Cloud in his head, telling him that it’s all okay, that he’s not alone, and all of the things Cloud said every time he wanted to soothe him. Which always worked. It didn’t help that Cloud’s scent had that delicious note to it that always relaxed him. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Cloud said gently as he relaxed.

“If it’s any consolation, it’s still early enough that you can terminate the pregnancy if you want,” Hollander offered quietly, “it would be unfair to force you into a situation you never asked for.”

It was then the mood swing striked again as he suddenly felt very protective of his unborn child, instantly standing up with Masamune in hand.

“You will not do such a thing without my consent,” he growled, moving the blade so that the point was mere inches from Hollander’s throat.

“He was offering alternatives, Sephiroth,” Cloud stated before there was a quality to Cloud’s voice that pulled at something within him, growling, “stand down.”

As if Cloud had pulled his strings, the blade disappeared and he sat back down. As he sat, completely stunned by the fact that Cloud had such control over him, he didn’t know whether to be annoyed, confused, thankful, or utterly terrified.

“What was that?” Hollander asked.

“I told him to sit down,” Cloud said, looking confused.

“You said ‘stand down’, like I was infantry,” Sephiroth said with a frown.

“And your voice went down in pitch,” Hollander said with a nod and a frown.

“Could this be a result of what Hojo did to us?” Cloud asked, sounding worried.

“Likely,” Hollander said with a frown, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a blood sample from each of you and with your permission, I would like to perform an ultrasound to take a look at things and the child.”

---

Tseng frowned as he saw Hollander’s first assessment of Sephiroth.

---

8/4/01

Sephiroth’s health is impeccable and all of his hormones are within parameters expected of a pregnant woman almost 9 weeks along. With the patient’s permission, I was able to perform an ultrasound, revealing a single child that appears to be developing on a similar trajectory as Genesis and Angeal had at this stage. Unlike Hojo, I have every intention to allow the child to remain with Sephiroth as soon as it is safe for the child’s health to do so and simply observe their development passively just as I have done with my own.

I expect that by this time next month, the pregnancy will start to be obvious. It is likely that Sephiroth will start to be relegated to paperwork and maternity leave at that time.

---

It quite definitely was an odd experience dealing with Hollander. Hollander answered all of his questions, unlike Hojo. As he laid on his back on the table next to the ultrasound equipment with his trunk bare, he had expected the jelly to be room temperature at best. He certainly didn’t expect what Hollander did.

“Let me know if it’s too warm,” Hollander warned before squeezing some onto his abdomen which had clearly lost some definition to his dismay.

It was surprisingly warm. Not hot enough that it was uncomfortable, just warmer than he expected. 

“Sephiroth?” Hollander asked in a worried tone.

“It’s fine. Just surprised that it’s this warm is all,” Sephiroth stated as Cloud took up position on the side opposite of Hollander, grasping his hand gently.

His attention wasn’t on the smooth wand gently moving against his abdomen or on Hollander, but on his boyfriend standing at his side.

“Everything looks right,” Hollander said with a small smile, “if you want, I can show you your first glimpse of your child.”

“So soon?”

“I’ve had to magnify the image on the monitor, but yes,” Hollander said with a smile before he gave the scientist a nod.

It wouldn’t hurt to take a look. 

Hollander quickly moved the screen so that he and Cloud could see it easily before moving the wand back into position. The child looked deformed and almost inhuman.

“Is the child’s current appearance to be expected at this point?” he asked, watching the child just sit there, motionless.

“Completely normal and healthy,” Hollander said with a smile, “the child will look more human in two weeks and will be moving a lot more. Right now, they’re the size of a grape.”

He stared back at the screen, unable to stop the thoughts that came to his mind. Particularly that at one point, he was at that stage. He looked back toward Hollander as the scientist turned off the equipment and started to wipe the jelly off of his abdomen.

“I have a favor to ask,” he said, looking at the scientist.

“What is it?” 

“In the case that you find details regarding my mother in Hojo’s notes, I would like to know about it. About her.”

“I can tell you one thing, kid,” Hollander said, sounding kind, “I wouldn’t be too surprised if she was Hojo’s wife.”

That information made his brain stop functioning for a moment. Hojo had a wife? No wonder he didn’t know that Hojo had a wife since a man like Hojo likely experimented on the woman, forcing the woman to bear the brunt of his sadism before Sephiroth was born. Then there was the fact that he couldn’t believe that anyone’s taste could be that appalling nor so unaware of the kind of man Hojo undoubtedly was. Did he manipulate her, show her a human disguise?

He found himself wanting to meet this mystery wife of Hojo outside of the fact that she might be his mother, but just for his edification as to how Hojo got a wife. 

“What do you know about her?” 

“I only knew she got married because Gillian was talking with someone from Hojo’s lab in Nibelheim. I think her name started with the letter ‘L’ or something,” Hollander said with a frown.

“Hojo had a lab in Nibelheim?” Cloud asked, looking and sounding concerned to Sephiroth’s eyes.

“Yeah, in the basement of a mansion there,” Hollander stated, “he used that as his main lab before the upper floors were complete.”

---

Turning the page, Tseng was greeted by a print out from the ultrasound, revealing a tiny form. He gave the image a slight smile before turning the page, revealing a copy of mission orders for SOLDIERs Second Class Sebastian Williams and Essai Drake. Then the reports of no contact.

---

“You seem… agitated,” Sephiroth stated evenly as Zack took up his usual pacing that he’d started doing earlier that week.

“They should be back soon,” Zack said with a frown, “and they should have returned my texts and calls already.”

“It is likely that they are occupied with their mission or are simply out of range. We have been having communication issues with the area, after all,” Sephiroth said, trying to soothe the teenager.

Zack continued to nervously pace as he turned his attention back to his paperwork, merely tuning out Zack’s pacing as background noise. Unless Zack said something, there was nothing else he could do to assuage the younger SOLDIER’s concerns.

He idly wondered if Zack worried about him as well whenever he went out on missions alone.

---

Tseng turned the page, showing a chat log with the date 8/5/01.

C: I hope you’ll have a better morning than I’ve had so far.

S: Want to talk?

C: I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you up!

S: I was already awake. What is wrong?

C: Just had a nightmare is all. I don’t think I can go back to sleep.

S: I have been told that sometimes talking about one’s nightmares make them less frightening.

C: All I remember was the pain and crying out for it to stop.

S: Do you know who was hurting you in the dream?

C: Why does it matter?

S: In case of your subconscious was warning you of someone, I can make them back off with the specific expression I’m not allowed to have on my face when meeting new recruits.

C: Why?

S: There have been cases of recruits running away, urinating in their uniforms, or simply passing out.

C: At some point, can you show me?

S: I do not wish to frighten you.

C: You have once but I know now that I’m safe with you.

S: That is heartening to know.

---

Tseng flipped through the pages, seeing the paperwork for Fair’s mission to Icicle to determine what had happened to SOLDIERs Second Class Sebastian Williams and Essai Drake and to complete the mission that they had failed to accomplish.

He remembered the debriefing the evening that Fair returned to Midgar from the Northern Continent.

---

Tseng looked across the table at the others who were in attendance.

Director Lazard sat at the head of the table, in the position of importance entirely due to his rank of Director, technically outranking everyone. He was clearly still working on things from his PHS, idling the time until Zack showed up. He looked both bored and oddly focused.

Also in attendance was SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth on the basis of being the ranking SOLDIER in the program but was clearly being groomed by Lazard for a future in becoming Director of SOLDIER himself. Tseng was also aware that Sephiroth was in charge of the SOLDIER side of the Avalanche situation. Sephiroth was also apparently doing something on his PHS, something which made his expression soften just the smallest bit. Likely texting Strife.

Zack was a full five minutes late when he made his way in. He looked tired and disheveled, with all of the signs of having been crying. There wasn’t even a hint at the teen’s usual exuberance or grins. Just a deep sadness as he all but collapsed onto the chair.

Lazard and Sephiroth both put their PHSes away, with Sephiroth showing far more concern for his fellow First than Lazard was, although the way Sephiroth was showing it was incredibly subtle. It was likely that Zack wouldn’t notice the subtle but blindingly obvious concern. 

“Forgive me for being late. I lost track of time,” Zack said, his voice neutral and on the verge of being empty.

“Perhaps we should start the debriefing then,” Lazard said quietly.

“Yeah,” Zack said sullenly, not realizing how disrespectful he was being.

Seeing Sephiroth’s reaction, a part of him wondered just how high his eyebrows could go. Clearly, Sephiroth knew just as well as he did how out of character Zack was acting, likely due to how the mission went. 

He listened to Zack’s report, seeing that Zack wasn’t too upset up until a specific point where it became clear that the psychological wounds were far too fresh.

“I found them. Essai and Sebastian. They… did things to them. Essai didn’t look human and Sebastian… sure didn’t act human. I… managed to get them to their senses but… they were killed in the blast when the compound self-destructed,” Zack explained, clearly overwhelmed with grief.

---

Tseng flipped the page, turning from Zack’s mission report to a chat log, dated the same day.

S: Angeal, do you think it would be a good idea for some of us to convene in Zack’s quarters tonight? He appeared troubled during the debrief and I believe that being in the presence of those he considers friends may help ease his spirits.

A: Are you okay, Sephiroth?

S: Yes. Why do you ask?

A: That was… surprisingly empathetic coming from you.

S: It is simply what I would want if I had witnessed the death of someone dear to me - to be around the dear ones who I still have.

G: Cloud, what did you have to do to teach him empathy?

C: I can’t take credit. It’s possible that it’s due to your absence that he has a deeper understanding of things.

S: That does seem to be the case. Or perhaps, you failed to notice before?

G: Regardless, it appears that our Puppy may need some spirits lifted. I shall provide the spirits.

C: I can run out and grab some snacks.

A: I have no problems preparing dinner.

C: What about you, Sephiroth?

S: What do you mean?

A: Cloud was asking if there were anything you wanted to contribute.

S: Why? I see no need to contribute to a gathering I don’t intend to attend.

C: He’s your friend too.

S: But I do not know if he sees me the same way.

C: I will hand Sephiroth the snacks to contribute. My contribution will be me dragging my occasionally clueless boyfriend along.

G: Occasionally? 

A: Gen.

G: Just saying that Cloud’s merely underplaying it a bit.

S: I am aware of my social ineptitude without you screaming it from the metaphorical rooftops.

G: I could scream it from the literal rooftops if you wish.

C: I think it would be drowned out by the other screaming that tends to happen on this floor.

A: CLOUD! 

G: I approve.

C: Yes, Angeal?

A: Too. Much. Information.

S: I am rather confused. Mind explaining?

G: DON’T.

A: At least not in here.

G: SAVE IT FOR DINNER. I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO SEE HIS FACE WHEN YOU EXPLAIN.

A: NO. NONE OF US NEEDS THAT.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve

Surprises and Smut

Sephiroth was surprised to see Zack looking closer to his usual demeanor as the youth walked into his office with a small grin, closing the door behind him.

“Do you know what the eleventh is?” Zack asked, almost acting in the way that gave him his nickname.

“A Saturday,” he said idly, not quite understanding why the date would matter so much to Zack.

“Cloud’s birthday,” Zack stated.

“Ah, yes. One of those things everyone but me has,” Sephiroth said, his mood deciding to land on ‘grumpy’. 

“You don’t have a birthday?” Zack asked.

“It was one of those things Hojo dismissed as frivolous. Same with music, friendship, art, literature which had no scientific merit in his opinion… I can go on,” he said before letting out a sigh, “I apologize. I will give it serious thought as to what I will get Cloud for his birthday.”

“I can help you if you want,” Zack offered.

“I’m certain that I can come up with a gift myself,” he stated with a slight smile as ideas were already coming to mind, “I have experience giving gifts already thanks to Angeal and Genesis.”

“So what are we going to do about your own birthday issue?” Zack asked, “do we even know how old you are?”

“Based on my development, I estimate my age to be anywhere from eighteen to twenty-two. Outside of that, it wasn’t information Hojo deemed necessary for me to know. I surmise he was doing everything he could to deny me as many connections to others as he could,” he said with a frown, “it’s almost like he didn’t want me to see myself as human.”

“But you are human, Seph,” Zack said in that tone that the boy used when he was being honest, “just as much as everyone else in SOLDIER is.”

“That is a comfort. Thank you, Zack,” he said with a smile.

“And don’t worry about all the human things Hojo kept away from you. We’ll make sure you get to experience all of the things you missed out because of Hojo,” Zack announced before frowning, “although I have heard from some of the older guys that because of the mako enhancements, it gets difficult to get drunk so there may not even be enough booze on Gaia to get you drunk.”

“That is one experience I’m fine missing out on, Zack. I’ve seen people suffering from hangovers before to know that not every human experience should be experienced. Especially considering that I’m currently pregnant and I refuse to engage in behaviors that may endanger my child,” he said with a small smile, glad that he could use that as an excuse to avoid something that he had absolutely no interest in partaking in.

“Perhaps after the kid arrives,” Zack said with a smile.

“Perhaps,” Sephiroth said, quite willing to delay this particular conversation to a later date.

---

Sephiroth was rather thankful that he kept to his usual circadian rhythm during the weekends when Saturday came and the first person who knocked on his door wound up being a rather anxious puppy.

“I need you to do me a favor, Seph,” Zack said, unexpectedly awake at such an early hour.

As early as it was, he knew that Angeal was also prone to being up early, leaving Genesis the only one on the floor who was likely sound asleep. The redhead never was on duty earlier than ten unless he was forced into it by a meeting. 

“What’s the favor?” he asked, finding some amusement at how frazzled Zack appeared to be, which was better than the alternative as of late.

“I need you to occupy Spiky until it’s party time,” Zack said, “I figure you’re the best person to ask since the two of you are together and all.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

---

Cloud just knew that something was up when he texted Zack to see if he wanted to hang out and Zack told him that he was busy. Didn’t Zack know what today was? Determined not to spend his birthday alone, he figured that the other person he could count on to be available was Sephiroth. He stared at the message screen and frowned, knowing that they’d been spending a lot of time together and the last thing he wanted was for Sephiroth to see him for who and what he is - a pathetic guy from out in the middle of nowhere. 

Before he could send a message, Sephiroth sent him one instead.

Care to spend some of your birthday with me?

He smiled at the message as he could just hear his boyfriend’s voice ask him that with just a hint of amusement.

Only if you don’t mind. I know we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately and I don’t want to burn you out on me.

If I minded, I wouldn’t have invited you over.

He couldn’t help but to smile to himself as he made his way from the barracks up to the floor where all the SOLDIER Firsts lived. Still, he knew it was all a matter of time before Sephiroth stopped seeing him as… what did Sephiroth see him as? Clearly he was being seen as interesting (which he knew he wasn’t), and someone to be romantic and intimate with. Clearly, his boyfriend had yet to see that he wasn’t worth the attention of someone like Sephiroth.

Before he knew it, he was standing at his boyfriend’s door moments before the door opened, revealing said boyfriend dressed in rather comfortable looking clothes - dark blue sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt. He could somehow sense that Sephiroth was happy to see him as the taller man stepped aside as he beckoned him in.

“I heard from Zack that today’s your birthday,” Sephiroth said with a small smile.

“Not surprised,” he said, walking past the taller man into the apartment and removed his sneakers, “since you know when my birthday is, it’s only fair that I know when yours is.”

He could somehow sense Sephiroth’s mood change as he heard the door close behind him before he glanced at Sephiroth, seeing that his boyfriend seemed almost pained.

“If I knew when it is, I’d tell you,” Sephiroth said, his voice quiet, “I don’t even know my exact age. One of the many things Hojo never wanted me to know, I’m afraid. As I’ve told Zack earlier this week, I’m under the impression that Hojo endeavored to deny me as many ties to humanity as is possible, to separate me from everyone. I do not know for what purpose other than for his own entertainment or to give him more control over me.”

The words hurt, but not for himself, but for just how much pain that Sephiroth just had to feel, knowing just how different he was from everyone. How lonely his existence had to have been before everything else. It was something he could understand from his own secluded life in Nibelheim, where everyone seemed to hate him because of his mistake. 

“Lonely living sucks,” he stated with a frown and a sigh, “being forced to be the one on the outside, looking in. Seeing everyone else happy and having fun… I can relate. I’m sure there’s some form of record somewhere that has that kind of information.”

“Perhaps. But there’s the question of whether anyone would share that information with me,” Sephiroth said with a frown.

“Not everyone’s as bad as Hojo,” he said, looking up at his boyfriend.

“True, but those in power certainly are,” Sephiroth stated, “after all, Hojo would not have been able to do half of what he did if the President didn’t approve of his...experiments.”

He could just tell that Sephiroth was falling back into one of his more sullen moods, which urged a part of him to comfort his boyfriend in any way he could. It wasn’t just something in his boyfriend’s scent that told him of the taller male’s mood, but something inside him that he swore could feel what his boyfriend was feeling. And this sense was telling him that even if his boyfriend was happy to see him and to be around him, there was also a specter of pain, anger, frustration, and terror. That under the man’s near mask-like facade, there was still a storm of emotions swirling about under the surface.

All he felt he could do to comfort his boyfriend was to hold him close and hopefully find the right words to ease his spirit. 

“I apologize,” Sephiroth said before he could move, walking past him and leading him into the living area of the apartment, “it’s your birthday and here I am, doing what Genesis would call ‘spoiling the mood’.”

“It’s okay. We’re still trying to get a hold of things and everything’s still new and uncertain,” he said, offering a smile to his boyfriend, “although I sometimes think that you tend to get fixated on things you really can’t do anything about. I’ve found that sometimes, I just need to be reminded of things that I can control and do something about.”

He couldn’t help but to be worried if he’d overstepped or said something he shouldn’t have when Sephiroth merely turned and stared at him in clear surprise. He couldn’t tell if Sephiroth was angry or anything for a moment before warm amusement was coming through the weird sense he was developing for Sephiroth’s moods. Perhaps, it was just a normal relationship thing or more concerning, something that he was developing thanks to the concoction of stuff Hojo had injected him with.

“Perhaps, it’s something we need to be more aware of in regards to each other and inform the other that they are succumbing to that weakness,” Sephiroth said with a small smile, “I welcome any reminder you wish to give me when I fall into that mode of thinking, as long as you offer me the same courtesy.”

“Of course,” he said, giving his boyfriend a smile.

“Is there anything I could get you?” Sephiroth asked pleasantly.

“I’m fine, thanks,” he responded as Sephiroth gave him a little more of a smile.

“I think ‘fine’ is quite the understatement when it relates to you, Cloud.”

Yep. Sephiroth was definitely learning how to flirt and was getting much more proficient in doing so lately compared to his earlier attempts. He just knew that at one point, his boyfriend would wind up delivering quite the flirtatious line that it would make him absolutely melt.

“Since it is your birthday, I have no qualms in allowing you to be in control over what we do today,” Sephiroth stated, seemingly out of nowhere, “what would you like to do?”

It would have been much easier to answer the question as to what he wouldn’t like to do. Although, it was clear that Sephiroth still looked exhausted so he didn’t want to run the poor guy ragged. At least, not this early in the day.

“I… really don’t know,” he admitted with a frown, “I’ve never been in a relationship before and well… I don’t want to make you tired of me.”

“You mentioned a concern about ‘burning me out on you’ earlier,” Sephiroth said with a frown which slowly became a smile, “I can only assume that it’s the same issue. I wouldn’t be too concerned, however. We’re still getting to know each other and used to each other. It’s far too early to be worried about my getting tired of you when everything’s still so new and there’s so much left to discover.”

“Except that there’s not much left about me to discover,” he said with a frown, “what you see is all there is about me. Just a simple nobody from a mountain village out in the middle of nowhere, where the only exciting thing going on is whether the dragons are gonna roost too close again or how much everyone hates me on any given day.”

He didn’t know if it was Sephiroth’s near scowl, the way the taller male’s eyes narrowed, the way his scent changed, or the weird inner sense that told him that Sephiroth was less than pleased with his words. He found himself picked up like he was nothing and carried over to what he could only assume was the couch before Sephiroth sat down, positioning him so he was sitting on his boyfriend’s lap, facing the taller male. Even once he was set down, Sephiroth’s hands didn’t leave him.

“Just because your backwater village dismissed you and made you believe less of yourself does not make you into what they believed you were,” Sephiroth all but hissed at him, “you are not a ‘simple nobody’, Cloud. You might have been a long time ago, but not any more. You are more than what you think you are. I will disabuse you of that notion, no matter how difficult you make it.”

He couldn’t even stand to look at Sephiroth, out of fear of seeing the man’s expression when he learned the truth. That he was all but worthless.

“What if you’re wrong and learn that I… I really am just what I just told you I am?” he asked quietly.

“It will be quite a novelty,” Sephiroth responded with a chuckle, “I usually have a very good eye for these sorts of things. The fact that I’ve been blinded to that extent would also prove that you are quite extraordinary.”

“But I’m boring and pathetic,” he said quietly.

He felt Sephiroth’s left hand leave its position to lift his chin gently, forcing his eyes to lock onto his boyfriend’s as he heard that deep voice quietly say, “I would embrace boring, but you are definitely not pathetic. If you were pathetic, you wouldn’t hold so much power over me that you do and you would abuse this power if you could. Instead, you use it carefully and I have full confidence that you’d only use it if you felt it were in my best interest or you required my protection, which I give freely. I remember what happened when you controlled my mood completely and all I could feel was… I think the closest term would be contentment. I didn’t have it in me to fight against your casual affection as you stroked my head.”

“You aren’t angry about that? About how I forced your emotions in that way?” he asked quietly.

“Not as much as I would be if you had no grounds to do so. As I was the one who was hostile toward you and also not thinking clearly at the time, as well as the fact that it appears to be an ability you still have little control over, I acknowledge that you had grounds to do so. And since you didn’t take advantage of me when you could and in fact, did everything you could for the sake of my own comfort… I can’t find anything to be upset about. In fact, it should be you who should be the most upset about what transpired in Modeoheim.”

“Like you said, you weren’t thinking clearly and I figured it was due to a mix of stress and mood swings and you snapped out of it,” he said gently.

“It likely was,” Sephiroth admitted easily, “it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re not pathetic. Far from it, in fact.”

“I just… don’t want to bore you.”

“Unless you can spontaneously turn into paperwork, you can never bore me, Cloud.”

He didn’t notice how close Sephiroth’s face was until he opened his mouth to speak, only able to get a few syllables out before he was pulled into a kiss. Clinging instantly to Sephiroth, he found himself melting into the kiss. He melted into the kiss not because it was one of those demanding, needy kisses because it wasn’t. This kiss was almost unusual in that it was slow and gentle, but quite definitely steamy as he felt like Sephiroth was making love to him with his tongue. And he couldn’t get enough of it as it was like he was being slowly consumed and savored.

The next thing he knew, he was laying on his back on the couch, gasping for breath as his legs were wrapped around Sephiroth and his hands were clutching his black shirt. Since he couldn’t feel the man’s weight on him, he could only assume that he was hovering over him. 

“How could I ever be bored of you when you make such beautiful sounds when all I’m doing is kissing you?” he heard Sephiroth ask right into his ear, sounding almost as breathless as he was.

“There’s more to a relationship… more to us… than kissing and sex, Sephiroth,” he all but gasped as he worked on catching his breath.

“I never said there wasn’t. We’ve comforted each other and supported each other as well. And you… you somehow pull parts of me to the surface that I’ve either hid or didn’t know I had, parts that only you know. If there is more to a relationship than intimacy, comfort, and support, please tell me. I… I desire to be everything you want in a relationship, Cloud.”

He couldn’t help but to stare into Sephiroth’s face at that confession. A deep part of him wanted nothing more than to ravish Sephiroth deeply, to take him to the highest peak of pleasure possible, to claim the perfection that his boyfriend was. Another part just wanted to bask in Sephiroth’s mere presence and closeness, with those well muscled arms wrapped around him holding him close. 

“I don’t want to be afraid that I’m not good enough for you,” he blurted out without thinking.

He found himself pulled back into a sitting position on Sephiroth’s lap again, but this time he could feel Sephiroth’s arms wrap around him in an embrace that pulled him close against his boyfriend. As always, he couldn’t help but to melt into the scent when he was so close.

“If I thought you weren’t good enough for me, I wouldn’t have agreed to be in a relationship with you, Cloud. If anything, I wonder if I’m human enough to be worthy of you,” Sephiroth said quietly, “between my appearance, my abilities, what Hojo has done to me all my life… I don’t know how much of me is still human.”

That confession shook Cloud to his core. The seemingly confident Sephiroth was worried that he wasn’t worthy of him? Were both of them agonizing over not feeling worthy of the other?

“So what if Hojo messed with your body all your life? He’s dead now and can’t do anything more to you,” he said quietly, “it doesn’t change you from being human where it counts. I mean, you care about people outside of yourself. That alone makes you not just human but a better person than Hojo. As far as being worthy of me… you’re more than worthy. I feel that you deserve so much better than me.”

He saw Sephiroth’s lips curl into the smallest of smiles which he always saw as cute before saying, “and yet, I feel the same in regards to you. You deserve someone who could make you happy, who can understand your wants and needs and desires. Someone who could give you everything you deserve and much more. And I… I’m still grasping the finer points of socialization. I… have been told I have trouble emoting. I will make mistakes and you don’t deserve that. And I--”

He decided halfway through Sephiroth’s speech that it was his turn to interrupt with a kiss of his own, causing Sephiroth to let out a small sound of surprise as he gave his boyfriend the same kind of slow, passionate kiss that he’d inflicted upon him earlier. Just the knowledge that deep down, Sephiroth had felt the same way he did - that the other deserved better - had all but killed his own fear.

He pulled back before the kiss made Sephiroth melt too much, seeing that he’d managed to give his boyfriend a good enough kiss that he looked dazed for a moment before clearly returning to reality.

“Sephiroth, neither of us are perfect. Not me and not you, despite the torture you went through to force you to accept less than perfection from yourself,” he stated, looking up into his boyfriend’s eyes, “but that’s not a problem as long as we make this relationship work.”

“As much as you claim to not be perfect, I can’t help but to see you as perfect,” Sephiroth all but crooned at him, “my perfect boyfriend.”

It was that moment that he loved and hated how much of a quick learner Sephiroth was. In a little over a month of being in a relationship, Sephiroth had figured out the best way to flirt. And had managed to deliver a flirt that sounded very sincere and heartfelt but made him absolutely melt and give him quite the kiss in response. He pulled back as soon as he felt his lungs ache for air, seeing that he’d kissed Sephiroth to the point that he was dazed again.

He absolutely enjoyed that particular effect he had on his boyfriend that he could be dazed with a kiss. Though it wasn’t just kisses that had that effect on the guy but just affection and intimacy. 

“Should we take our conversation to the bedroom?” Sephiroth asked, sounding as awkwardly as he usually did when inviting him to the bedroom.

It was always utterly adorable when Sephiroth revealed just how awkward he was about things that didn’t involve his job. He merely nodded and before he could try to free himself from Sephiroth’s grasp, he found himself being carried into the bedroom and gently deposited onto the bed like he was priceless and fragile.

“So perfect,” Sephiroth crooned at him before giving him another of those slow, gentle, and passionate kisses.

He didn’t know how much longer he could last before he was begging for release at this rate.

When the kiss ended, he felt his t-shirt was being pulled off of him and then felt his boyfriend’s mouth everywhere, kissing his body anywhere he could.

“Sephiroth,” he groaned, aching for more.

“Hmm?” his boyfriend hummed in the middle of his kissing.

“I want you,” he groaned, feeling like his pants had become too constricting.

He felt his boyfriend’s lips leave his chest before asking, “how do you want me?”

He knew how he wanted to answer, but he didn’t know if he should. After all, it was something they hadn’t done since they’d hooked up and he could tell that Sephiroth wasn’t entirely fond of his ‘lady bits’. And yet, he ached to be in that part of Sephiroth. To know what it truly felt like. 

Clearly he took too long to answer because he saw Sephiroth look at him, “the worst that will happen is I decline, Cloud.”

“I… don’t know how to explain it...I...want to be in you, Sephiroth,” he said, feeling his face heating up.

He knew that Sephiroth was in one of his moods by the smile he had on his face, “exactly how do you, as you put it ‘be in me’?”

“Don’t make me say it,” he groaned, feeling like Sephiroth was playing a cat and mouse game with him and he knew what role he had in that game.

“If you don’t say it, I won’t know exactly what you want and I’m likely to make an incorrect guess,” Sephiroth said with a smile, “would it be easier if I stripped down and have you touch the part of me you want to be in?”

He felt his face practically burn at the mental image of such an act and heard Sephiroth chuckle before running his fingers through his spikes.

“You are so easy to tease sometimes,” Sephiroth said with a chuckle.

“Like you’re not as bashful when it comes to sex,” he commented with what he knew was likely a pout, “I recall seeing you blush asking for me to use a toy on a certain part of you.”

“Is that the same part of me you wish to use?” 

He found that he had lost all use of his mouth and merely nodded, watching his boyfriend’s reaction. Sephiroth barely even hesitated before he gave him a smile.

“I’m willing to try it at least. If I feel like we need to stop and change strategies, I’ll let you know,” Sephiroth stated.

He could only nod as he watched Sephiroth strip, revealing that he’d been going commando under the sweatpants. Oh Gaia. He could only wrestle with his own pants before Sephiroth helped undress him. The moment Sephiroth saw his dick, he swore that his eyes did the cat thing and he saw him lick his lips. 

“Would you be upset if I gave certain parts of you some attention first?”

He still found himself unable to vocalize words and merely shook his head no, still feeling like he just might develop a kind of burn from blushing so deeply. Sephiroth let out a soft chuckle before he ducked down and took the head of his dick into his mouth. He definitely rediscovered the ability to make sounds as he let out a strangled moan at the feeling of being in that wonderful mouth and feeling that tongue run against the skin before pulling back. 

“You always make the best sounds when I do that,” Sephiroth purred with a chuckle.

“You’re an awful tease,” he commented with a frown.

“And you can’t honestly say that you don’t enjoy it,” Sephiroth chuckled.

He discovered that sometimes, he just wanted to hit Sephiroth over the head with a pillow. Before he could, he felt Sephiroth climb off of him and simply laid down on his back next to him on the rather large bed. He could tell through both Sephiroth’s scent and the weird inner sense he had that Sephiroth was intrigued and interested but slightly uneasy. However, he knew that if Sephiroth decided to change their position, he’d say so. 

Rolling onto his hands and knees, he crawled over to where he was between Sephiroth’s legs and surveyed his boyfriend, seeing a body that apart from the scarring would not be out of place in an art gallery. He glanced down at his boyfriend’s member and wondered whether he’d imagined it as having been larger. Taking a deep breath, he swore he saw it twitch.

“I love it when you stare at me like this,” Sephiroth purred, moving as if he were stretching out.

“How am I staring at you?”

“You’re staring at me like I’ve seen people stare at something they deem beautiful.”

He knew that he probably should do something and uneasily reached out to touch Sephiroth’s folds. He knew that it was silly for him to be so awkward since he had little problem playing with it using toys but this was different. Breathing in, he could feel the slick fluid practically gush from the organ using his fingers before easing a finger in. 

“Oh Cloud,” Sephiroth moaned, throwing his head back and moving his hips in a way which gave him better access, “it’s like every time we do something with it, it feels better.”

His finger had no problem sliding through to his knuckle. With a grin, he wriggled the finger, eliciting a groan from his boyfriend. He couldn’t help but to imagine just how it would feel like to be fully sheathed in that organ, connected in a way that they had never been while lucid and clear headed. Slowly pulling his finger out, he heard his boyfriend practically whimper. Taking a deep breath to steel his resolve, he slid two fingers into his boyfriend, causing said boyfriend to let out another moan and moved his hips in a way that his fingers all but slammed deeper into the organ.

His brain was doing some deliciously awful things to him, giving him a lot of ideas such as how it had to feel if instead of it having been his fingers, if it had been a certain part of him being slammed through those folds like that. Worse was feeling the walls tighten around his fingers, like they were that eager for something to caress. Spreading his fingers, he got another loud moan from his boyfriend.

“Don’t make me beg, Cloud.”

If he didn’t feel the same need, he knew he would have kept teasing until his boyfriend begged. But right that moment, he absolutely needed it as much as his boyfriend did and eased his fingers out of those slick and ready folds.

Taking a deep breath, he positioned himself and had been planning on easing himself in but his boyfriend decided otherwise. With a quick and hard movement of his boyfriend’s hips, he found his cock fully buried into said boyfriend with a shared cry of pleasure. He found himself losing control as he started to set up a much more brutal pace than he’d planned. He wanted to savor it, moving slowly and languidly, giving them as much pleasure as possible. That plan had gone out the window the moment Sephiroth had buried him to his base. 

Deep instincts were urging him to keep the brutal fast and hard pace as he let out grunts of pleasure as he heard his boyfriend’s cries of utter pleasure and bliss. He found the pace becoming more brutal thanks to Sephiroth’s own thrusts, causing their own sounds of bliss and pleasure to only increase in volume.

And yet, he felt something odd at the base of his cock, but ignored it due to the other sensations being far stronger. Urged on by the instincts that apparently took control of him, he pulled Sephiroth so that he was bent at an angle that could only be painful if held for longer than a minute at most as they continued their almost bestial coupling. Sephiroth took this as an invitation for a deeply passionate kiss which was punctuated by each other’s sounds of pleasure. He didn’t know how but he could tell that their pace became more ragged and brutal as he could feel his own peak approach too fast. 

Not wanting to come first, he reached over with a free hand and started to pump his boyfriend’s own precum covered dick with the same pace as their coupling. Within a few thrusts, he felt Sephiroth reach his peak both through his hand and with the feeling of those wonderful walls spasming around him as if they were stroking him off the same way. With the final thrust, he shoved himself deeply into Sephiroth as he could, causing his boyfriend to let out a scream as he pulled Sephiroth into a sharper angle as he felt a couple of his teeth tingle before he bit into the side of his boyfriend’s neck, causing his boyfriend’s scream to grow even louder. His teeth continued to tingle in bursts that seemed to match the pulsing of his cock as he felt the body around and against him just twitch and spasm in time with his own. 

After what felt like a small eternity of such radiant bliss, he detached his teeth from the neck and ran his tongue over the wound before pulling away. 

He came to his senses when he eased Sephiroth back down into a laying position and saw how nonresponsive Sephiroth was. Sephiroth’s eyes appeared to have rolled back while half open as his breathing was clearly slowing down. His mouth was left open like he was still crying out in pleasure. He tried to move but found that he was… stuck? He pulled and was greeted with pain. Clearly it had caused Sephiroth pain because he came back to Gaia with a clearly pained hiss.

“Are you okay?” he asked his boyfriend who gazed upon him with an expression he’d never seen on his face before.

“That was incredible, Cloud,” Sephiroth sighed with the biggest smile he’d ever seen on that mouth. 

“I admit that I wasn’t planning on going at that pace,” he admitted sheepishly.

“I’m not complaining. Although I never that I’d enjoy getting bitten like that.”

Through his senses, he managed to understand what Sephiroth’s expression was intending to convey. His senses were telling him that Sephiroth was very content, very blissed out, and was feeling a lot of affection. 

But what bothered him was the taste on his tongue, which tasted a lot like blood.

He looked at where he bit Sephiroth’s neck and saw that there was some blood trickling from two puncture marks. 

“Oh shit, Sephiroth. I’m so sorry! Shit, where’s your Cure materia?” he cried out in a panic, forgetting that he was stuck in Sephiroth until he tried to get up, causing both of them to cry out in pain.

“Stop it! That hurts!” Sephiroth snapped with a hiss, “what the hell are you doing?”

“Trying to get up but for some reason, I’m stuck in you,” he responded, frustrated with everything, “maybe if I pull hard enough--”

“Don’t you dare,” Sephiroth hissed, “or I’ll strangle you myself.”

“What do you suggest we do then?”

“Calm down and wait,” Sephiroth responded, clearly calming down, “since your penis seemed fine before, it will likely return to its usual configuration in time.”

“Just what the hell did Hojo do to us?” he asked as he all but collapsed onto his boyfriend.

“I wish I knew,” his boyfriend responded gently before carefully moving them into the pile of soft things which almost took over the bed, curling up around him.

“I… I can’t believe I bit you and you’re bleeding,” he stated, sounding like he was in shock to his own ears.

“It’ll be okay, Cloud. I surmise that it was something tied to our new instincts based on what was done to us considering that my instincts wanted it to happen,” Sephiroth said calmly, stroking his back with one hand and his hair with another, “what I think you should focus on is the fact that it was an experience I wouldn’t change or give up for anything. It and you were incredible.”

All he could do was lay there as Sephiroth soothed him. After a few moments, he swore he was hearing his boyfriend purr again. There was something about that sound which chased his fears and concerns away and made him just want to lay there.

---

“And that should do it,” Zack said as he stepped back to look at the last of the decorating that had just been completed.

“Are you sure you’re not overdoing it?” Angeal asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, if he is, it’d still be amusing to see Seph’s little chocobo’s reaction,” Genesis said with a grin.

“Not all of us feeds off of drama like you, Gen,” Angeal commented, his raised eyebrow still in place.

“Well then, I’ll grab the birthday chocobo,” Zack said with a grin, “Seph texted me that they’re in his apartment.”

“We know they’re in Seph’s apartment,” Genesis said, rolling his eyes, “did you not hear the screaming an hour ago?”

“I thought that was from the downstairs apartment,” Zack said, starting to think that Seph may have given Cloud a birthday present a little early. And that maybe he might get some use out of a soundbyte on his PHS.

“That was quite definitely them,” Angeal said, looking more than mildly uncomfortable.

“I’ll be right back with them,” Zack said with a grin before stepping out into the hallway.

He knocked on the door and waited half a minute before using his ID card. He knew that he was given permission back when they wanted their relationship to be on the down-low. The green light turned on as he heard the slight click before quietly easing the door open. The apartment was seemingly empty but he could hear soft snoring coming from where he could only guess was the bedroom. Quietly, he set his PHS volume to the max and set it so he just needed to press a button to have the soundbyte play.

He reached the doorway of the bedroom, just barely able to make out a few blonde spikes and a metaphorical ocean of silver hair from among the pile of blankets and pillows. With a wide grin, he pressed the button.

The speakers of his PHS emitted the sound of an airhorn, causing both of the sleeping men to leap to action. What made the sight worth it was the fact that both of them were quite tangled in each other and blankets, causing them to fall into a pile a couple of times before he saw a pair of catlike eyes with a bright mako glow to them glare at him with a look of pure murder.

“Zack, I suggest you run if you value your life,” a deep voice growled, “if I get my hands on you, Angeal will be looking for a new puppy.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirteen

Mistakes' Price

Tseng knew that the next event leading up to the incident wasn’t by itself unusual as he looked at the information collected from the logs taken from VR Training Room 4. Sephiroth was known for his near daily use of the VR training rooms, but what was unusual was what the logs revealed on that particular Monday, August 13th. 

---

Sephiroth had woken up in a dour mood, which wasn’t surprising. His mood had been dour since what had happened during the most recent tryst with Cloud. He’d been actively avoiding doing anything involving that cursed thing his body had formed without asking him, thanks to more biological meddling from Hojo. And he now understood why he wasn’t wrong in avoiding such things.

He glared at his own reflection as he went about his morning routine, full of loathing for his life as he noticed that his usually muscular abdomen was merely flat, a sign of his continual physical changes due to his unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. 

“Perhaps it would make my existence easier if I got rid of you,” he growled at the sight of his flat abdomen, “after all, I never asked for you, never wanted you.”

Continuing with his routine, he found his mind drifting back to that Saturday, remembering how after the party, Cloud had asked him privately to spend the night, both of them knowing that during the weekend, Infantry didn’t have curfew so he was free to sleep whenever and wherever he wished. The event of what had transpired earlier had been weighing in his mind enough that he knew it was best to put some distance between them for the time being.

It had felt too good and he wanted more and he also didn’t. That thing had no business feeling that wonderful, especially when Cloud’s own physical change had ensured that they were stuck together for twenty-three minutes. Twenty-three minutes of bliss given Cloud wasn’t trying to work himself free which was pure agony for him. He’d been stewing alone since over the fact that his body’s biological betrayal was only getting worse. Even a part of his mind had joined forces, singing him a siren’s song of pleasure and bliss if he’d just give into his bodily urges. If he would just allow Cloud to do what he’d done with that thing.

Knowing that his dour mood would be noticed by others and that he was bound to inflict his mood on those he held dear, he decided to inflict his dour mood on some holographic enemies. After all, he could use the exercise and he was still loath to spar with Angeal and Genesis after what had happened the last time. No, it was best to return to his solitary training that he’d always done in their absence. 

Striding into the training room, he chose the specific simulation which had been a bit of a game to see who could defeat the enemies faster. Once the program was selected, the screen showed the top twenty times, seeing that Angeal had run through the simulation recently and had beaten his original top time, placing him at having the ninth fastest run. He keyed the simulation to start and got into position. 

The area changed in appearance, taking on the usual appearance of the arena for the fight as Shiva materialized across the battlefield from him. As he closed into range with the holographic summon, he could feel that his body was reacting more sluggish than he’d liked, particularly his legs. He was aware that his weight had only increased as of late, which was expected considering his changing body and growing child. This did nothing for his mood but worsen it as he focused all of his anger and frustration on his holographic opponent.

His anger merely increased when he discovered that it took him longer than usual to take down Shiva, requiring more attacks to do so. 

A burst of flame on the other side of the battlefield heralded his next holographic opponent - Ifrit. Where he’d have been able to dodge the flames or block them, he found his energy flagging behind and he actually got hit for once. With a growl, his anger reached a fever point. He usually had the energy and then some to deal with multiple runs through the program so why was it proving to be so difficult lately? He doubted that his body had changed that much since his last run that he couldn’t even get through a single run.

He forced his way through Ifrit and his next enemy appeared - Ramuh. 

He didn’t know what he was more upset over - the fact that in the weeks since that one injection, his body had become the greatest traitor he knew or that it just had to have been Genesis who found him on the ground, his hair likely sticking up in every direction possible and about to have gotten hit by the holographic summon’s ultimate attack if Genesis hadn’t abort the program.

He was expecting the redhead to laugh at him, to say something like ‘my, look at how far the great Sephiroth has fallen! Can’t even make it through a round of a game he used to play for fun!’ He just knew that Genesis was going to find great joy in making light of his state. 

“Are you okay?” he heard Genesis ask quietly.

“What do you think?” he asked, knowing that his words sounded more acerbic than he’d intended, “because of what Hojo did to me and everything involving that collection of organs I never wanted or asked for, I couldn’t even get through what we used to do for a game! What does that say about me?”

He could feel the tears flowing as he kept his head bent away from Genesis, not wanting the redhead to see just how weak and pathetic he had become all because of hormones and pregnancy.

“It says that you’re going through something difficult that is changing your body against your will and in ways that you don’t like,” Genesis said quietly, “which is something I completely understand since my body’s literally falling apart. Still.”

“You’re not going to laugh and enjoy seeing me so weak?” he asked quietly.

“Even if all this had happened without my body falling apart, I would never take glee in your suffering,” Genesis said quietly.

“I somehow doubt the veracity of your claims considering that you’ve been wanting to claim what I’ve never wanted but could truly not give you,” he said quietly.

“There’s a difference between winning on my own merits and winning because you’re not at your best. One would be a true victory and one would just be me taking advantage of your misery and would not befit a hero,” Genesis said with more warmth than he remembered the man ever speaking with when not regaling everyone on the merits of Loveless. “And I… I think I know why you never did take it easy on me. Angeal and I found the torture chamber near your old… cell. I somehow doubt Hojo would have allowed Hollander to keep me had I ever truly defeated you and would have also tortured you for your defeat.”

“So now you’re pitying me over a glimpse of a past no one could ever change?” he asked quietly.

“Why would I pity you?” Genesis asked quietly with some amusement but still warmer than usual, “you grew up in an environment where you weren’t even allowed what even Angeal would consider the bare essentials, where you were tortured by a complete monster, never allowed any form of choice, where when you were exposed to people who wanted to befriend you, you were suspicious that they were under Hojo’s thumb. The fact that you never became a monster yourself, that you have opened yourself to others knowing so much pain… The fact that you are a better man than what you came from… I can’t pity you, Sephiroth. If anything, I’m in awe of the strength that I was always so blind to… which I think Angeal never was. What I do feel, however, is compassion and awe.”

“Compassion?”

“Yes. Compassion. I’ll have Angeal explain it to you if you need a definition,” Genesis said, “but there are more important things like getting you out of here and where I can do something about your current hairstyle.”

---

Angeal was quite certain that what they had seen in the labs before Hojo’s death had changed something in Genesis. It was certainly the longest he’d gone before hearing Genesis complain rather loudly that Sephiroth was being ‘an arrogant ass’ or that he ‘deserved more than getting toyed with’ by Sephiroth. He hadn’t even seen anything to suggest that Genesis was going to rekindle the rivalry he felt toward their friend, which was something he’d gone on about even during the time that they were on the run.

But seeing not just Genesis being awake before nine in the morning but also almost dragging along a Sephiroth that looked like he’d gotten himself scorched and then electrocuted into his apartment definitely made him question a lot of things concerning both of his best friends. As Genesis dragged Sephiroth towards the closest chair, he decided that it was best if he took one final, long sip of his coffee. It was already shaping up to be one of those days.

“Do I want to know what happened?” he asked with a heavy sigh as Sephiroth tiredly eased into a chair moments before he saw the telltale green glow of some form of curative spell, likely a Cura or Curaga, based on the level of damage he could see.

It was definitely not normal to see Sephiroth in such a state and even less normal to see that Sephiroth had his head bowed so that no one could even see his face even if his ragged mess of hair hadn’t blocked it from view. The hair that was normally as immaculate as its owner was definitely showing signs of having been scorched if the scent of burned hair and leather was any indication.

“My physical condition has worsened,” Sephiroth pronounced gravely as he heard the man’s leather gloves creak as he clenched his fists, “at this rate, I will become useless within the next month.”

He looked over at Genesis in the vain hope that since Sephiroth has clearly decided to be dramatic, then maybe he’d get more information from his other best friend.

“I found Sephiroth attempting a run through our game. He collapsed during Ramuh,” Genesis explained with a frown.

That also threw him for a loop since Genesis had attempted so many harebrained schemes to make things skewed in his favor over Sephiroth. He’d have sworn that Genesis would be gloating that he was now stronger than Sephiroth rather than looking troubled. Did something happen to his friends where their personalities had somehow switched with Sephiroth being overly dramatic while Genesis was grim?

“Do you want to talk, Sephiroth?” he asked gently, not wanting to push his troubled friend.

“What would talking do to solve my problem?” Sephiroth asked quietly, still not making eye contact with anyone, “I’m progressively becoming weaker than I expected, likely due to the constant fatigue I’ve been feeling lately. If it continues, I may not be able to do much outside of paperwork, assuming I regain my strength after the delivery.”

“Even if you don’t, you’re not useless,” he said gently, “you’re a person, not a tool or wea--”

“I was raised knowing that I exist to be the Company’s weapon,” Sephiroth interrupted, “all proclamations made involving what humanity I have are recent and only come from three individuals. My purpose and usefulness are irrevocably connected to my excellence in combat and warfare. And I’m losing that which gave my existence purpose, that which was my reason for being created and trained. I’ve never been this weak since I entered SOLDIER and the knowledge that my condition will only regress during this whole… disaster I’ve never wanted nor asked for… It’s almost enough to make me want to seek a solution to this. Any solution.”

He knew that if Hojo was still alive, he’d have killed him for the clear evidence of abuse he was seeing that likely had been committed when his friend was a child. Abuse which clearly involved Sephiroth’s dehumanization, making it clear that they wanted voluntary subservience. It was almost enough to make him want to fully walk away from Shinra, but this time taking his whole family and likely all of SOLDIER so that none of them could be used in the same way by the same callous people who didn’t care about anything but power and control. 

The briefest of glances in Genesis’s direction told him that Genesis was showing behaviors that hinted at the very real possibility of imminent arson and likely involving the same tower they all lived in.

“I can understand that you’re overwhelmed and upset,” he said, wanting to calm his friends down, “and Genesis, I’d feel better if you were sitting down as well.”

“And why, pray tell, should I?” Genesis asked in that tone of voice that told him that unless he did something about Genesis, the whole tower was likely to be on fire before the end of the day. 

“Because I don’t want to deal with the repercussions of you setting fire to the tower. Remember, we are on probation until everyone in charge believes that we could be trusted again, Gen,” he said with a sigh that was probably revealing just how exhausted he was feeling and he had yet to even start his work day. 

“Have you considered that maybe we’re too--” Genesis started to say.

“Genesis, we’ve been over this,” he said, interrupting his friend before he could say anything incriminating knowing full well that there was nowhere they could speak without being heard by the Turks, “we agreed to return and what that means.”

“Angeal,” he heard Sephiroth ask, “I apologize for upsetting you.”

“You didn’t,” he said with a sigh, “it’s the implications of you believing that your life only has merit when you’re fighting for the Company.”

“Which is the truth,” Sephiroth said quietly, “unless I can perform my duties, I no longer have worth to the Company.”

“But you have worth to us, to Zack, and to Cloud,” he stated, “isn’t that more important to you?”

“I know that my worth to Genesis is predicated on the rivalry he feels towards me,” Sephiroth stated after a moment’s silence, “which is based on my utility to the Company.”

He glanced over at Genesis, seeing guilt on his overly dramatic best friend’s face and he knew it was an honest expression simply because he never feigned guilt simply due to such an expression being seen as ‘undignified’ by the redhead. For once in Genesis’s life, the guy was finally experiencing guilt and shame and he wondered what had changed in his friend.

“I… can actually see how you came to that conclusion,” Genesis said quietly, “but in light of recent events, I… I know I was wrong in how I treated you before.”

“So, you’ve decided to change your behavior out of pity,” Sephiroth stated quietly.

“No. Not pity. If it were pity, I’d be droning on like some tragic choir. I’d like to think it’s out of understanding and compassion. I just feel that… if I had succeeded in defeating you, even if you had given me the victory… it would have meant that Hojo would have tortured you, wouldn’t it?”

“And he’d be interested in finding out what you have that I’d be lacking which caused you to triumph over me,” Sephiroth said with a nod, “in which case, even if you were Hollander’s experiment, it would not have saved you from Hojo. As much as I would have liked to give you a victory, I couldn’t.”

“A given victory is empty and pointless. I would have preferred one that was earned,” Genesis said with a slight smile, “thank you for protecting me from Hojo.”

“I don’t know if I should be happy that things are getting patched up between you two or concerned,” he said with a frown. 

“Why would you be concerned that I’m getting over feeling trapped in Sephiroth’s shadow?” Genesis asked.

“Because it means you’re maturing, which is something I never thought would ever happen.”

“Are you insinuating that you see me as childish?” Genesis asked petulantly.

“It does typically fit your personality,” Sephiroth stated evenly, looking over at Genesis with a ghost of a smile.

“Lies and scandal!” Genesis proclaimed with a scowl, “I’ll have you know that I’m the very image of maturity.”

“Yeah, I don’t think your acting skill could ever pull that one off,” he commented with a smile.

“How dare the two of you team up on me! I thought we were friends!” Genesis proclaimed with very clearly overdone saddened outrage.

“...aren’t we?” he heard Sephiroth ask quietly after a moment.

He gave Genesis a warning look. Clearly it was too soon to be joking in that way. Likely, it would always be too soon. After all, they’d hurt Sephiroth so deeply with their sudden departure and in ways they hadn’t been aware of. Or perhaps they were just unwilling to notice.

“Of course we are,” he insisted, hoping that through his eyes, he was telling Genesis to knock it off with that kind of joking for now. 

And yet, he could see that the issue hadn’t been resolved due to how grim Sephiroth continued to look. All because some horrible people had trained a little boy to only value himself as a weapon, a thing that took life. To undo that kind of conditioning would take a lot of time, time where his friend’s physical condition would become less and less conducive to that which he’d been trained to do and be. 

“Are you going to be okay, Sephiroth?” he asked, looking at his friend with nothing but concern.

“Eventually, I most likely will,” Sephiroth responded quietly, “I apologize for troubling you.”

“Sephiroth, if either Genesis or I clearly needed your help, would you see it as a trouble to help us?” he asked with a small smile.

“Of course not,” Sephiroth said before giving him a small smile himself, “I understand. Thank you for seeing my need and doing what you can.”

“That is what friends are supposed to do for each other after all,” he responded with a smile.

---

8/13/01

I don’t know what’s going on with Seph. Saturday night, he seemed to brush me off when I asked if I could spend the night with him. He still hasn’t responded to my texts even when I have this sinking feeling that he’s upset about something. I just wish that I knew what I’d done wrong.

I thought he wanted to make this work because of the kid and everything.

I suppose he’d been lying to me and realized just how unworthy I am of him.

---

Tseng frowned at Strife’s journal entry before turning the page, seeing a chatlog. 

---

8/12/01

C: Good morning.

C: Did I do something wrong?

C: Good night, Sephiroth.

8/13/01

C: Good morning.

C: Are you okay?

C: I’m at the Atrium Cafe. Would you like something?

C: Good night.

8/14/01

C: Good morning.

C: I know I saw you this last weekend, but I miss you.

C: If you keep ignoring me, I will send Zack after you.

C: Good night.

8/15/01

C: Good morning.

S: You can stop messaging me.

C: I don’t want to. I like hearing from you.

S: I wish for you to leave me alone.

C: Why?

C: Sephiroth, why do you want me to leave you alone?

C: Sephiroth, I deserve to know.

C: Why?

---

Chapter Text

Cloud couldn’t stop staring at the screen of his PHS, hoping for the messenger app to show that Sephiroth had read his last messages, demanding an explanation. He’d been sitting at one of the tables in the Atrium as he tended to do in the morning so he and Zack could catch up and chat before they both had to go to work. 

“Your drink’s getting cold,” a familiar voice stated before he heard the person sit down at the table.

He couldn’t peel his eyes from the screen as his mind whirled. Was it over? Or was it just a pause? Should he just give in to his heartbreak or march right into Sephiroth’s office and cause a scene that he knew neither of them wanted? Just what was going on in Sephiroth’s mind?

“Okay, I can tell that something’s up,” the voice - Zack, his mind supplied - said, sounding serious and concerned, “so put down the PHS and talk to me.”

“Look,” he said, tearing it away from his face and shoving the screen into Zack’s face.

Within the timespan of a blink, Zack went from sitting next to Cloud to standing, grabbing the drinks he’d purchased - he was clearly still getting Sephiroth coffee in the mornings - and was striding away. Zack hadn’t said a word, just simply strode off to who knows where.

All he could wonder was if he’d just lost Zack’s friendship as well.

---

It wasn’t all that surprising to Angeal when Zack strode into the office he and Genesis shared. It was quite common that the teen would just walk right on in unless the door was locked. What he did consider surprising was just how angry Zack looked. The teen’s dark eyebrows were furrowed and he could have sworn that Zack’s eyes were blazing.

“Do you know where Sephiroth is? He’s not in his office,” Zack stated, anger raw in his voice.

“Do we look like his keepers?” Genesis asked, completely blase, “though if you ask me, he could use fewer of them.”

“Why are you looking for him?” he asked gently, wanting to find out what Sephiroth did to infuriate the teen.

“He’s been ignoring Cloud since Sunday and only today sent him a message telling Cloud to leave him alone and refuses to respond to Cloud wanting to know why. I don’t know what got into him but I can’t just let him hurt Cloud like he’s been doing,” Zack explained, clearly angry.

He saw Genesis’s expression change into one that he recognized as the one the redhead always wore when he got an idea, particularly ones which involved fire or a lot of property damage. 

“Genesis, whatever you’re thinking about doing, the answer’s ‘no’,” he said, putting his metaphorical foot down, knowing that no matter what he’d say, when Genesis got into this kind of mindset, the only way he could stop the other man would be to physically pin him down and hope to distract him by bringing up Loveless.

“You don’t even know what I’m thinking and yet you say ‘no’?” Genesis prodded with a grin, “don’t you even want to know what I’m pondering before you put your foot down?”

“No because when you get that look, it usually involves arson and/or property damage,” he responded with a deep frown.

“Not this time, my friend. If any of that happens, it won’t be my fault. Well, directly, to be specific,” Genesis said with a grin.

Angeal could only sigh before asking, “okay, what’s your harebrained scheme this time?”

“Geal, we both know why he’s likely hanging poor Cloud up to dry. It’s what he always does when he feels vulnerable,” Genesis said with a critical tone and a frown, “except that Cloud has never seen this from him before. What he needs is for me to fling Cloud at him so that he couldn’t help but to talk to the kid.”

“Genesis, no,” he said with a frown, “I think we should just talk to Cloud and let Seph approach his boyfriend on his own terms.”

It was then that his PHS chimed with a message notification, likely an official memo or announcement. He frowned when he read the contents.

---

From: Director Lazard

To: Angeal Hewley

Subject: Regarding Sephiroth’s Indefinite Medical Leave

As of 08:45, Sephiroth has been placed on indefinite medical leave by Hollander. As such, it will fall to you to take up Sephiroth’s paperwork and position until his return. I am not aware of the cause but it must be dire enough to cause Hollander to do such a thing.

---

Sephiroth scowled as he laid on the examination table on his back, doing his best to simply ignore the pain in his hips. He had to remind himself that none of it was Cloud’s fault and that all of it was Hojo’s and the monster was permanently removed. He particularly loathed how helpless he was feeling at that moment, not knowing why he was barely even able to walk when he woke up that morning. It had put him in such a mood that he had lost patience for Cloud’s constant texts.

It had been a comfort that Cloud always sent him a text in the morning and in the evening. He’d seen the questions and tried to come up with a response, but none of it sounded right. So he’d merely remained silent. However, the events of that morning led to him finally answering Cloud’s questions and hopefully get him the time and space he needed to figure himself out. Cloud deserved to experience him at his best and he was far from his best right now. So he deemed it best for Cloud if he spent his sparse free time working on getting him back to his best before they saw each other again.

He’d have dwelled on everything longer if Hollander hadn’t chosen that moment to step into the room with a frown. 

“It appears that what’s going on is your pelvis is changing its shape,” Hollander explained with a frown, “it’s likely that the process has been on-going and just recently reached the point where it would become painful. I suggest you limit your movement until the pain decreases. As such, I recommend bed rest or a wheelchair if you absolutely must be out of bed. I can’t be certain as to how the sitting angle would affect how your pelvis will heal.”

“Is there anything you can do for the pain?” 

“I can give you some pills, but that’s all I can do. I don’t want to try curative materia because I don’t know if it will interfere with what your body’s doing.”

“I suppose it will be better than nothing,” he responded.

“I’ll get you some pills and a wheelchair,” Hollander said with a smile that was clearly intended to be reassuring.

“I will forego the wheelchair,” Sephiroth stated, “it will not do to allow everyone to see me in that state.”

“Then I’m not letting you leave,” Hollander stated.

“You can’t keep me here.”

“Would you rather I inform Angeal and Genesis that you insist on an action that has a higher chance of harm than my recommendations?” Hollander asked with a frown.

“Like you care about harm when you’re continuing to allow Genesis to languish as his body is failing him rather than curing him!”

“I’m doing everything I can, Sephiroth.”

“I find that difficult to believe. I refuse to allow you to manipulate me like you did Genesis and Angeal.”

“I acknowledge that I lied to Genesis earlier, but I’m not now. I’m honestly doing my best to save him, I swear.”

“I refuse to believe that you’re overly concerned about harm when you have harmed my friends with your actions. As such, your words have little merit to me until proven otherwise. Once you provide me with pain medication, I shall go about my usual work.”

“Fine. Don’t blame me if your condition worsens or the bone doesn’t heal right. Assuming you can walk at all.”

He merely gave Hollander a glare before pushing himself to a sitting position. It was incredibly painful but it was a far cry from the worst pain he’d ever felt. 

He’d had multiple bones completely shattered before. He’d had layers of his epidermis removed in patches from his body before. He’d been stabbed, gored, burned, electrocuted, waterboarded, suffered mild frostbite, hyperthermic, hypothermic, concussed, the list went on. All just because Hojo wanted to see him break how much he could survive. And only the worst of it all prepared him for the agony that he experienced in the three seconds he’d managed to stay standing before his legs gave way under him.

Once he took one of the painkillers, he tried to get up again, just for the pain to increase and made him nauseous before he was forced back onto the floor in a prone position. This wasn’t going to do.

“Hollander, I require you to put in the required paperwork for an extended medical leave until I can walk under my own power. I refuse to allow anyone to see me in this condition.”

“You are aware that you are going to require someone to tend to you while you are, as you put it, ‘in this condition’. Fortunately for you, I know the perfect person for the job.”

“As long as they are aware that they’re not to disclose my condition and can keep their awe and/or fear in check, I have little choice but to accept assistance as difficult and unpleasant as I find it,” he admitted with a deep frown.

“I’m sure they’ll fit your requirements,” Hollander said as he wheeled a wheelchair over and parked it near him, “let’s get you in this first.”

---

Genesis frowned as Angeal’s PHS started to ping wildly with messages, an echo of the same frown that his eldest friend carried as said friend looked at the screen in that way which screamed to Genesis that Angeal had received troubling news.And troubling news had a habit of becoming either rumor mill fodder or drama fodder. Both were just as entertaining to him.

“This can’t be good,” Angeal said with a frown, “apparently, Sephiroth is on medical leave for the foreseeable future.”

Except when it was something that serious. He and Angeal had seen the guy suffer some grievous wounds and would keep going as if he honestly believed that blood loss wasn’t a huge obstacle. Or broken bones, for that matter. He couldn’t help but remember the teenager Sephiroth had been when they met, bleeding from a head wound and having been concussed, stubbornly refusing to walk away from a mission. He’d believed that the kid was just stubborn and cared too much about his reputation compared to his health.

Now, he couldn’t help but to imagine that worse pain would have been inflicted upon the kid had he given up and chosen to take care of himself and his wounds. A man like Hojo would have seen it as a weakness, a failing. In order for him to allow himself to be put on indefinite medical leave told him that whatever it was, it was serious and he was going to need to check on Sephiroth immediately.

“I assume that you’re being given his workload,” he stated with a frown.

“Considering that your method of filling out paperwork tends to leave it in an unreadable state, it’s unsurprising that I have that duty,” Angeal responded with some humor.

“I’ll check up on him. I’ll need to use your ID to get into his apartment,” he stated.

“I’ll come with. I need to give him a piece of my mind,” Zack stated.

“Not until we know his condition, Zack,” Angeal stated, pulling on his puppy’s metaphorical leash, “you don’t know him like we do. If his condition is serious enough to put him on indefinite medical leave, he won’t be pleasant to deal with and he will not enjoy visitors.”

“We just have the privilege for being his oldest and closest friends,” he said with a smile, “we’ve all seen each other at our weakest.”

“Just keep me informed on his condition,” Angeal stated as he handed Genesis the necessary ID to allow access into the apartment.

“The rumor mill will never find out,” he stated seriously before he strode out, heading up to his clearly hurt friend’s apartment.

---

Sephiroth groaned as his PHS started to ring. Glancing at the screen, he saw that it was Zack. Clearly, Angeal was very likely too busy to call and had tasked the teen with calling him to get a grasp on his current physical state.

“Sephiroth,” he answered succinctly.

“You have a lot to answer for! You not just hurt Spiky but devastated him with your messages this morning!” he heard Zack shout into the PHS, causing him to pull it away from his ear, “and you are going to text him and explain yourself!”

“I’m unaware as to what you know of current events, but now is not the best time for this discussion,” he responded, hoping that he didn’t sound too upset considering that he was still in pain, just not as much as he’d be in if he were standing or sitting, “I will deal with that later. I was under the clearly false impression that Angeal had you call to ascertain my physical state.”

“I’m more concerned about your mental state because you have been hurting Cloud which isn’t like you, Seph,” Zack snapped, clearly angry.

“That wasn’t my intention,” he said with a sigh, “I just wanted some time to figure things out and I didn’t want to respond to him while I did so with the concern that I’d parse words incorrectly and inadvertently cause him pain. The fact that my request for time and space was hurtful concerns me greatly.”

He was definitely not going to admit that he was dealing with difficult things that bothered and hurt him and he’d very much would rather deal with such things alone. That way, no one would be able to take advantage of his moments of weakness. That way, it would be less painful for Cloud since he wouldn’t have to see him be weak. Cloud, who clearly had looked up to him and had made him feel things he’d never thought he’d ever feel. 

He heard Zack let out a sigh before saying, “usually, when you want space and time, you say such things, not telling the other person to stop texting you. Cloud probably thinks you’re dumping him.”

“Dumping him as in ending our relationship, correct?” he asked with a frown.

“Yeah, that’s what it means.”

“I merely desire some space and time to myself, not to end our relationship,” he clarified with a bit of a sigh. “I suppose I should make myself clear to him.”

“You better,” Zack stated before hanging up.

Immediately after the call ended, he looked at Cloud’s messages and it became clear that he had hurt his boyfriend. He spent a moment to compile the message in his mind before he started typing it out.

I merely want some time and space to myself for now. It was not my intention to hurt you or lead you to think I am ending our relationship - unless you wish for it to end. I am dealing with some difficult things and it is best that I do so on my own. I apologize for hurting you if I did so.

---

Cloud was aware that his PHS buzzed with a message as he was in formation moments before his CO pulled out his own PHS and looked at the screen.

“Strife, fall out!” his CO commanded, “it appears that you are to report to the Science Department due to your requisitioning. You’re being given indefinite leave under the Science Department’s orders.”

He just knew that the moment whatever Hollander needed him for was completed, he was going to suffer for it at the hands of his CO. Great. 

He went from the drill grounds back into the Tower and got into the elevator for the long ride, giving him an opportunity to look at his messages. He saw that Sephiroth had finally sent him a message and weighed his options. Did he want to ruin his mood further with whatever his maybe-ex-boyfriend sent him or did he want to ignore Sephiroth like he clearly was doing to him? He figured that leaving Sephiroth hanging for the rest of the day should give the man a small taste of what he’d been doing to him.

It was only fair, after all.

And so, he continued to ignore Sephiroth’s message and stowed his PHS away in a pocket before he finally reached the floor to meet with Hollander and discover just what Hollander wanted from him.

Fortunately, Hollander was already waiting for him, but appeared to be a bit more serious before leading them into an office and closed the door.

“How are you doing?” Hollander asked, motioning to the plush looking chair in front of a mahogany desk.

“Physically, I’m fine outside of some temporary issues, but they’re nothing I can’t deal with,” he stated, knowing that he would only confide in certain people when it came to his relationship issues and Hollander did not fall into this group, as nice as he appeared. “What did you want me for?”

“This morning, Sephiroth all but crawled here due to severe pelvic pain,” Hollander explained, “a scan revealed that his changing biology is reshaping his pelvis. It’s my hypothesis that the shape will be to allow for an easier birthing process. However, this has made it so that he can’t walk on his own and will be bed bound until his pelvis has fused together as it should be. As such, he requires someone at his side to help take care of him as he refuses to stay on this level, not that I blame him. Since you two are so close, you were the first available person that came to mind.”

His mind whirled with this information. Some floors away, Sephiroth was bound to a bed and in a lot of pain and had become helpless. As angry and hurt as he was at the man, he couldn’t help but to want to tend to him. A deep part of him demanded that it was his duty to provide for his mate  hopefully-not-ex. One thing he could be certain of - Sephiroth wouldn’t be able to ignore him in this situation and he’ll be able to wring answers from the guy.

“Is there anything specific about his care that I’ll need to know?” he asked with a frown.

“Other than the obvious things I’ve noticed that he clearly doesn’t like showing weakness and he appears to be in a rather foul mood when in pain, which is fairly normal,” Hollander said before giving him a smile, “there’s also the fact that since this is going through your requisition paperwork, you’re not required to observe your usual curfew and you’re excused from your usual duties for as long as I have you. In fact, due to his current condition, it will be a good idea if you’re nearby to give him around the clock care.”

Cloud found his mood souring. If this had been last week, he would have demanded to take care of his boyfriend in his current state. But now, he felt more apprehensive after four days of being ignored or pushed away and then the message from this morning. If anything, he should take this as an opportunity to give the taller man a piece of his mind for how he’d been treating him. Of course, he would still help the guy since he was being volun-told to do so. Besides, as angry and hurt as he was, he was not going to leave his mate hopefully-still-boyfriend high and dry like that when he needed his help the most.

---

Genesis didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door to Sephiroth’s apartment - a place he’d never entered by himself, mostly because before now, he had no reason to enter without Angeal’s usual calming presence. Before, they needed Angeal to mediate and balance out his usual fiery personality and to rein in certain behaviors he’d realized had been based on jealousy and far too much focus on his own feelings of inferiority rather than any true sense of friendship with Sephiroth.

It had taken some very painful realizations he’d arrived to over the course of some rather painful days and nights, which he knew he wouldn’t have reached if he hadn’t encountered some very real evidence of the kind of life Sephiroth lived without his knowledge. Or perhaps the evidence was always smacking him in the face and he’d been far too blinded by his own inferiority complex and selfishness to see. 

And one of those realizations was exactly why he had such an inferiority complex to begin with and it had nothing to do with Sephiroth and never measuring up to the man - not that he could ever measure with someone whose life was all torture and training and pushing himself beyond his normal limits out of terror of being sent back to his torturer. How could he ever measure up to someone whose excellence was predicated on the fact that if he’d fumbled or failed, he would be tortured until Hojo was done with him. And to think, he’d been so ignorant that he’d believed Sephiroth’s state after his quarterly physicals was entirely due to having been injected with some boosters. He’d never thought that Hojo had been literally torturing Sephiroth to his limit.

Nothing he could ever do would make up for that cruelty. But that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try. After all, it is now that Sephiroth required his friendship more than he ever did now that he was free of his torturer and he was now free. He just knew that such freedom after a life of torture, cells, and a gilded cage would likely be frightening for his friend and he would be there. For once in his life - and he was determined to continue to do so after this - he resolved to support his friend who would never ask for it. 

However, the true source of his inferiority complex - how did his thoughts drift away like that to begin with - was simply based on his upbringing. It was almost poetic how the three of them were victims of the sins of their parents - whether biological or adopted. The greatest of his parents’ sins was simply to foster the belief that he always excelled in everything he attempted. They had made him believe that the juice factory was successful because it was one of his ventures when, in reality, it was operating at a net loss. They merely entertained his most fanciful flights and celebrated even his failures as successes even by hiding the evidence of the failure. They had led him to believe that he was perfect and always victorious.

And that had been who he was when he approached Sephiroth that fateful day in the training simulator and demanded a spar. 

To this day, he had no idea why Sephiroth of all people decided to entertain a nobody Third who had more ego than sense. At the time, he’d thought that Sephiroth was being a condescending bastard by giving him pointers to improve while clearly toying with him. He understood now that the boy wasn’t truly toying with him, but was trying to give him time and space to improve. In Sephiroth’s very socially stunted way, he was trying to help him. With the distance of time and familiarity with the man, he wondered if that was his way of attempting to form a friendship predicated on being honest training partners, though it would likely be closer to a mentorship.

And he’d thrown away that opening, that opportunity to have a more pure friendship with the then-boy because his ego hadn’t been able to take it that he’d not just failed but failed in such a way that it was blindingly obvious to him and it had been his first true taste of failure. His self worth had completely shattered on impact with his first true, obvious failure.

He knew the floorplan, having been here multiple times. 

“Who is there?” he heard Sephiroth’s strained voice call out, tone rather gruff and vaguely irate.

Standard Sephiroth-in-pain voice and this knowledge urged him on. He might have allowed Sephiroth to languish alone in pain due to his own negligence as a friend and utter ignorance, but he’d sworn on the memories of those painful revelations on those floors Hojo had set up as his domain that he would strive to be the kind of friend Sephiroth had always needed him to be. That first failure had hurt, but it was nothing compared to the soul-crushing agony of his greatest failure and his biggest mistake.

“It’s merely me, Sephiroth,” he called back as he strode towards where Sephiroth’s voice had emanated from once he’d removed his boots out of respect for his friend.

“Leave me be, Genesis. I’m in no mood for you right now,” Sephiroth had called back, sounding less gruff but more akin to an irate fatigue.

“Angeal wanted me to check up on you,” he responded, approaching the doorway, “and we both know that he’d expect me to do so.”

It was then that he saw something that bothered him. There was a wheelchair near the bed, but clearly it wasn’t close enough since Sephiroth was on his stomach on the floor and was clearly using his upper body strength to get himself onto the bed. It was clear that the collapse had occurred recently, likely when he’d been outside of earshot. 

He immediately strode over to Sephiroth and if the guy was going to force himself onto his bed under his own power, he would at least assist. Honestly, he was tempted to lift his friend and settle him onto the bed even if it would incur his friend’s temporary wrath. It would certainly lessen his friend’s pain. 

“I’m fine, Genesis,” Sephiroth spat irately, “go away.”

“I think not, my friend,” he responded with a frown, “because you simply do not appear to be fine considering the fact that you’re on the floor and dragging yourself around on your upper body strength.”

“I. Am. Fine,” Sephiroth enunciated with more venom.

“We both know that when you proclaim that you’re fine the most ardently is when you’re the opposite,” he responded before stepping around his friend’s prone body to pull the sheet and blanket aside and fluffed the nearest pillow for a moment as he was definitely leaning towards the option which would definitely provoke Sephiroth but would save his friend so much obvious pain and indignity. 

Apparently, Sephiroth had gotten it into his brain that he had an idea or something - the gall that he would assume (rightly so) that he was up to something! - because he merely growled, “whatever it is you’re planning on doing, don’t you dare follow through with it.”

He could never resist the opportunity to put on a show as he feigned shock, “me? Planning something? What leads you to that conclusion? I’m innocent, I tell you.”

“For as long as I’ve known you, you are far from innocent of anything and you’re always planning one thing or another,” Sephiroth remarked with a clear frown as he finally reached the point where he had just reached the point where he was readying to pull himself onto his bed, “and I insist that you perish whatever scheme you’ve got bubbling away in your mind and simply inform Angeal that I am fine.”

“I know better than to lie to Angeal and we know how he would react if I told you that I’d left you on the floor or that I allowed you to pull yourself onto your bed under your own power when doing so is obviously painful for you,” he stated before moving next to Sephiroth and crouched down, “I’m certain that you’ll forgive me for what I’m about to do.”

“Don’t. You. Dare,” Sephiroth growled, lifting his head to glare at him, revealing how much paler he was, likely from the pain.

“Oh, I dare,” he responded with a smile, “I’ll try to make this as less painful as possible.”

Before Sephiroth could respond, he carefully rolled his friend onto his back before lifting him bridal style before gently depositing his friend upon his bed before pulling the bedding on top of his friend, who was now shooting him a rather deadly glare that promised retribution. He had to admit that it was rather adorable seeing the deadly glare just peeking over a rather fluffy comforter like a rather insulted house cat. 

“You will pay for that, Genesis Rhapsodos,” he heard his friend growl.

“Somehow, it’s less intimidating when you look less like you’re about to disembowel me and more like a miffed house cat,” he responded with a smile before turning serious, “I didn’t hurt you unduly, did I?”

“I will live,” Sephiroth answered after a moment.

“Mind telling me what’s going on with you?” he asked quietly, “I doubt it’s fatigue. It looked like you couldn’t use your legs.”

He saw the struggle on his friend’s face as Sephiroth clearly debated the merits of confessing the truth of his current condition to him before letting out a sigh, “that’s because I can’t without undue agony. My hips are apparently reconfiguring themselves into a specific shape likely more conducive to… childbirth.”

He could see the disgust and shame on his friend’s face, how it weighed on the man. After all, Sephiroth had a slight mental breakdown over how he couldn’t make it through one of their games. And now, Sephiroth was all but bedridden until his hips were finished reconfiguring, completely at the mercy of others. He couldn’t think of anything that was closer to a personal hell for his friend. 

And he was not going to leave Sephiroth alone to deal with such a sorry and hellish state. He merely moved toward the foot of his friend’s bed and sat down on the edge and pulled out his PHS.

“I’m gonna send Angeal a status report and we’ll come up with something to get your mind off this whole situation,” he stated with a smile.

“No we will not. I don’t want you to stay, Genesis,” Sephiroth commanded.

“Sorry, but you can’t force me to leave you while you’re dealing with this,” he stated, giving his friend a glance, “we both know that you’re pushing me away because you hate it when others see your weaknesses just as surely as we both know that being bedridden is the closest to a personal hell that currently exists on the face of the Planet.”

He saw the fury disappear from his friend’s face as his expression changed in ways that made his friend look so much younger. Genesis could see so much emotion on his friend’s face - was Sephiroth really as lacking emotiveness as he’d believed or was he simply noticing more? That he didn’t know - he knew it wasn’t a stretch to describe the expression as fearful. Was the reason his friend looked younger simply because he’d never seen his friend show his fear like this? He also didn’t know. 

“I know I wasn’t as good a friend as I should have been,” he said quietly, “but I refuse to continue on with that mistake, regardless of whether or not you let me.”

Sephiroth looked away, refusing to meet his eyes before quietly saying, “you weren’t lying about what you found in Hojo’s domain coloring your perception.”

“If anything, what I saw opened my eyes and I can’t not see the truth I’d been so ignorant of as well as my awareness of just how much I’ve wronged you. Regardless of your feelings on the matter, I will endeavor to avoid continuing these mistakes that I’ve made with you for so long.”

“I’m starting to wish you were the same person you were over a year ago,” Sephiroth lamented with a frown.

The status report sent, he knew what would definitely help his unfortunate bedridden friend and called the number he’d stolen from Zack’s phone when the Puppy had left it sitting in the office he shared with Angeal. 

“Strife,” he heard Cloud’s voice answer after the second ring, getting a glare from his friend.

"Your darling, beloved, cherished bride is currently indisposed and bedridden -- perhaps you could come and, oh, make him feel better," he said with a grin, seeing Sephiroth’s growing fury aimed at him - it was likely getting to him that he could get away with pushing his friend’s buttons without consequences.

"Genesis, I will kill you!" Sephiroth exclaimed in a furious hiss, the man’s eyes practically ablaze in his fury.

“I’m already in the elevator on my way up,” Cloud responded, sounding businesslike without any warmth in his voice, “I got excused from my duties to tend to Sephiroth.”

Cloud sounded hurt when he spoke and he shot Sephiroth a glance, seeing Sephiroth’s expression becoming almost pained. It was clear that Sephiroth picked up on Cloud’s clear pain. Of course he did. It was obvious that his friend was utterly smitten by the blond chocobo.

---

Cloud had to keep himself from knocking on Sephiroth’s door when he knew that Sephiroth was unlikely to answer considering what Hollander had explained. Knowing that he was likely going to be staying in Sephiroth’s apartment indefinitely, he’d gone back to the barracks to grab what he felt he needed for an extended stay - changes of clothes, PHS charger, toiletries and the like. 

Before he could close the door behind him, Genesis had emerged from where Sephiroth’s bedroom was and a deep part of him bristled that he’d been with his mate please-still-be-boyfriend in said man’s most private of rooms. 

Genesis merely shot him a smile before poking into the bedroom before proclaiming, “I should make myself scarce. The love of your life has just arrived to give you the tender loving care you obviously require and deserve.”

“Genesis!” he heard Sephiroth exclaim at the redhead as said redhead meandered in his direction, clearly heading for the door with a pleased grin on his face.

“He’s all yours,” Genesis commented with a grin, “don’t be too rough with him, if you catch my meaning.” He’d ended with a wink.

“Genesis, I swear I will make you regret uttering those words!” he heard Sephiroth exclaim.

He could almost see Sephiroth blushing, likely already situated in his bed and covered in blankets, nestled in the piles of soft items as if he’d made a sort of throne of soft things. He set his bag down on the couch before approaching the bedroom.

Settled upon that soft throne made of soft things was Sephiroth, his silver hair having been moved so that he wasn’t lying on it, splayed out around him in equal parts. The pale skin on the man’s cheeks and ears were showing the faded blush he just somehow knew he had been sporting somehow. As hurt and angry he’d been, he found the feelings fading with how Sephiroth was gazing at him as if he were treasured and wanted. He had to remind himself of what Sephiroth had texted him not even three hours ago. 

“What was that all about, Sephiroth?” he asked with a frown, “telling me to stop messaging you and leave you alone.”

“You haven’t seen my most recent message, I take it?” Sephiroth responded with a frown.

“I wanted to make you stew a bit before responding,” he admitted with a frown before saying, “three days. You ignored me for three days. You gave me a very cold shoulder during the party too. I think I deserve an explanation, so start explaining.”

Sephiroth looked away with a quiet sigh as he could tell that Sephiroth was troubled and sad. That there was clear grief and remorse at play eased his own pain.

“I… don’t like showing weakness,” Sephiroth said quietly.

“Which made me think you were an arrogant jackass at first,” Genesis called out from the living room.

“Good-bye, Genesis,” Sephiroth called out in an insistent tone.

“Text if either of you need anything,” Genesis announced before he heard the door close.

There was an uneasy silence as he took in Sephiroth’s confession.

“I’m not surprised with what I know and heard,” he said quietly before approaching the prone man, “but I will promise you with everything I can, I will never take advantage of any moments of weakness in ways that will hurt you. I… I want to take care of you. When you feel weak. If you let me.”

Sephiroth’s head jerked so that the man stared at him as if he were witnessing something unexpected and breathtaking. Like he were gazing upon a miracle. He felt treasured in that moment as he reached the bed. 

“I don’t know how I know this… but I know you’re being completely honest with me,” Sephiroth said, clearly in awe, “and...it means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

“Just promise that instead of retreating from me, you talk to me,” he stated quietly, “and never do that ever again. You hurt me, Sephiroth.”

“It was never my intention,” Sephiroth said quietly, reaching out to him, “please. I want to have you near.”

“Apologize first,” Cloud stated with a frown.

“Very well,” Sephiroth said with a sigh, “I wanted to apologize once you were near.” Sephiroth met his eyes, still staring at him almost reverently, “I’m deeply regretful that my actions have wounded you so. In the future, I will do my best to talk to you rather than push you away like that. I am sorry.”

“I accept your apology,” Cloud said, carefully climbing onto the bed and crawling to the nest pile of soft things, only to stop when he was at his mate’s boyfriend’s side.

There was something about Sephiroth’s scent that was different, something that pulled at him more, that made him detect the emotions more vividly and drew his own out more. And it pulled at him to pamper and care for the other man. Once he laid down, pressed up against Sephiroth’s side, he felt an arm wrap around him and held him close.

“It was also because…” Sephiroth paused to take a deep breath, not breaking eye contact, “I hate that thing I grew because of what Hojo did to me. And when you... I’ve never felt anything that came close to what I felt. The moment you were… it felt like I was being filled with you and all I’ve wanted since was more. It.... it’s wrong that I enjoyed what we did because… that thing shouldn’t feel so good. I… I hate myself that I enjoyed that, Cloud. I hate myself that I want more. Because I… I don’t know what’s going on with me. I… I’m weaker… lesser… and you deserve me at my best.”

The fact that Sephiroth’s actions weren’t out of malice or anything but pain was all he needed to forgive his mate boyfriend. He moved from the arm’s grip to hover over Sephiroth, dipping down to give his boyfriend a chaste kiss.

“I forgive you,” he said quietly, “and you shouldn’t hate yourself because I made you feel wonderful. I’m touched that you want to be at your best for me, but you deserve to have me at your side during your worst. I want to be there when you’re at your weakest.”

His mate boyfriend pulled him down for another kiss that was slow and gentle but oh so hot before allowing him to pull away.

“It is incredibly unfortunate that my hips probably won’t let us do anything fun,” Sephiroth rumbled wistfully.

“Are you willing to find out?” he asked with a large grin.

“I’m at your mercy,” Sephiroth merely said, letting go of him and made it clear that he would be passive.

There was something about his mate boyfriend being so passive that made him instantly hard and yearning to fill said mate boyfriend up again. He was going to definitely see if he could without causing his dearest any pain.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fifteen

Smash and Grab

Tseng frowned as he knew the next event in the chain. One which led to a rough time for everyone, whether they were in SOLDIER, in Shinra in general, or in Midgar. He didn’t know how Avalanche knew that it was the time to strike, but strike they did.

---

Cloud yawned as he stretched out on the bed next to his wonderfully smelling boyfriend. Even if he somehow knew that his boyfriend was irritated and annoyed, he knew that his presence was a benefit to Sephiroth. The aforementioned boyfriend of course took that moment to move to change his position to get more comfortable, causing him to let out the barest of pained sounds. That fact made him know that Sephiroth was in agony since he had the last couple days’ experience to know just how stubborn Sephiroth was about showing pain. It infuriated him once he realized that it wasn’t entirely Sephiroth being stubborn but that it was just more evidence of Hojo’s abuse. 

“Let me help, Seph,” he said, using the nickname he’d heard Zack give his boyfriend.

“I can do this myself,” his boyfriend responded, clearly snapping at him.

He’d learned, also over the last couple days that when Sephiroth snapped at him like that, it was entirely out of pain and frustration and feeling helpless. He knew that Sephiroth didn’t mean anything by it. 

“It won’t kill you to rely on others,” he chided for what felt like the thousandth time.

“It might!” Sephiroth snapped back, almost snarling at him.

“Even me?” he asked his boyfriend quietly.

He saw and felt his words hit his boyfriend hard, causing a maelstrom of emotion to form. Fear, affection, guilt, something he dared to believe could be the seed of love. Sephiroth looked at him with a glimmer of those emotions, having long since recognized how Sephiroth showed emotions - also likely due to abuse. He felt Sephiroth’s callused hand stroke his cheek in a familiar show of affection that was only for him. 

“Especially you,” his voice said, calm and low, “if I… get too attached… I… I don’t want to suffer if you happen to disappear on me as well. I want our relationship to work. Very much so. But what if that isn’t enough? What if I… I lose you?”

He embraced his developing but unusual instincts that told him that his mate boyfriend was in distress and it was his duty to soothe this distress. Especially since he was seeing a part of Sephiroth he bared to no one else. His broken and hurt boyfriend who needed all the support and affection he could get. For what seemed to be the first time ever, he felt glad for their height differential as he carefully climbed onto his boyfriend, careful not to twist or put too much weight on his boyfriend’s shattered hips and stared down at his boyfriend’s gorgeous face.

“What makes you think I’d ever allow you to lose me like that?” he asked before giving his boyfriend a gentle and slow but very passionate kiss that he knew Sephiroth enjoyed immensely. “The only way you’ll ever lose me, Seph, is if you disregard my boundaries, you break up with me, or if I die.”

“I never would do any of that to you, Cloud,” Sephiroth said quietly, his voice still having that quality it had whenever he was thoroughly kissed.

“So I don’t see a reason for you to worry,” Cloud said with a smile, “so rely on me. Please.”

“It’s still too dangerous,” Sephiroth said with a frown, “I… I can lose myself too easily with you. I… I can still hurt you, but this time it would be unintentionally. And that terrifies me.”

“Then it sounds like I need to pass the SOLDIER entrance exams then,” Cloud said with a smirk, “and get me enhanced enough that you won’t have to worry about hurting me.”

Cloud had never seen Sephiroth’s eyes take on that kind of gleam before and he didn’t know whether or not he should be concerned. 

“Do you have a practice sword on you?” Sephiroth asked, the unfamiliar gleam still in his bright green eyes.

“I only packed my PHS charger, some changes of clothes, and my toiletries,” Cloud explained, feeling curious as to what that gleam meant.

“No matter,” Sephiroth stated as he removed the blankets that were covering him, “help me into that blasted wheelchair.”

“What are you thinking, Seph?” Cloud asked as Sephiroth let out pained noises as he moved himself towards the side of the bed where the wheelchair is.

“I’m thinking of seeing what exactly I have to work with,” Sephiroth stated, “and I would appreciate getting your assistance.”

“What do you mean?” Cloud asked as he started to help his boyfriend into the wheelchair.

“I will assist you in your endeavor to pass the entrance exams,” Sephiroth stated, “it’s better to do that than lay in bed the entire day.”

Once he got Sephiroth situated in the wheelchair, he almost had to run to keep up with his boyfriend as the wheelchair sped into the living room. It certainly hadn’t taken his boyfriend long to acclimate to being in a wheelchair and become just as fast in it as he had been on his feet. As he entered the living room, he saw his boyfriend pull out what looked to be a metal pipe with a hilt which he had never paid much attention to.

“Use this and go through your katas,” Sephiroth stated, offering the item to him, “it’s likely heavier than you’re used to but it will be enough for me to see where you’re having issues.”

“In the living room?” Cloud asked.

“I’ve done so before,” Sephiroth stated, “the space is adequate.”

Cloud merely nodded and did as his boyfriend asked.

An hour later, Cloud was thankful that Sephiroth had chosen the living room as a practice space entirely because he had a soft place to collapse onto once he knew he couldn’t take much more. 

“You are a horrible taskmaster, Seph,” Cloud groaned from the couch.

“That may be the case but in the course of the hour, your form has improved remarkably,” Sephiroth stated as he wheeled towards the couch, “although, I will admit that it was quite a sight seeing you work up a sweat. Even if your form left a lot to be desired at the beginning, it helped that I enjoyed watching you regardless.”

“Compliments and flattery, Seph?” Cloud asked.

“All deserved,” Sephiroth stated with what Cloud knew was as warm as Sephiroth ever allowed him to sound.

He glanced up at his boyfriend and saw how his pupils were almost completely round and that he had obviously enjoyed watching him work out, which he hadn’t noticed because of how his focus was on training and not on his boyfriend’s crotch. That very sight made him forget how tired he was as he found himself wanting to pleasure his boyfriend.

The moment was shattered at around the time that the door to the apartment also shattered. A group of men with red visors and a uniform reminiscent of SOLDIER surged inwards.

“Behind me, Cloud!” Sephiroth shouted as his massively long sword appeared out of nowhere.

“You behind me!” Cloud shouted, his adrenaline overcoming his exhaustion as he wielded what he’d been practicing with. 

“Do as I order!” Sephiroth shouted as he charged into the melee before the men could get deep enough into the apartment to threaten Cloud. While in a wheelchair.

Cloud was stunned just how much Sephiroth was able to hold off what he knew were Ravens while in a wheelchair and was dressed in little else than just a pair of sweatpants. As he charged in, he saw that someone was equipped with materia and had started to fling some sort of spell. He knew he dodged the first spell but he apparently got hit by one of the others in the flurry. He only knew this simply because the next thing he knew was darkness.

---

“Cloud!” Sephiroth exclaimed, leaping out of his wheelchair without regard for the pain, simply to protect his fallen mate boyfriend.

“Surrender,” a voice said, likely one of the men judging by the giggles.

“We only need you,” another said with a laugh.

“Then you’ll have me. Whether or not you’ll be able to keep me is another matter entirely.”

---

The next thing Cloud knew, he was coming to surrounded by the people he’d come to know as family - Zack, Genesis, and Angeal. Angeal was towering over him as Zack was pacing and Genesis appeared to be fuming over the PHS.

“He’s awake,” Angeal announced before saying, “careful. You got hit by a high level sleepel. Tell us as much as you can.”

Cloud felt disoriented as he sat up, still feeling dizzy as he looked for his mate boyfriend, but not being able to pick up any recent trace of his scent that wasn’t fading.

“Where’s Sephiroth?” Cloud asked as he swore he could sense Sephiroth’s emotions, only picking up resignation and some level of relief. 

“Cloud,” Angeal started to say gently before Genesis all but screamed into the PHS “Fine! I’ll look for him without authorization!” and then slammed his PHS shut, ending the call.

“Lazard’s not gonna help us. Something about not having any leads as to where they took him,” Genesis fumed.

“Took who?” Cloud asked, feeling a sense of dread.

“Who do you think?” Genesis snapped, “who out of our family is missing?”

“You could have delivered the news a bit more gently, Gen,” Angeal chided.

“What’s the point?” Genesis snapped at Angeal, “the longer we’re doing nothing, the further they get. The harder it will be to find him. Especially since we do have a lead.”

“We’re not using Spiky to track Seph by scent! Or did you forget that they also stole a helicopter?” Zack interjected.

“A helicopter that I’m sure is tracked by the Turks,” Genesis stated, “assuming that Hojo wasn’t paranoid enough to have implanted any trackers in Sephiroth.”

“In which case, this is likely more a Turk mission than a SOLDIER one,” Angeal explained with a sigh, “there’s only so much we can do right now.”

All Cloud wanted to do was curl up in the bed he and his mate boyfriend had been sharing and wallow in the scent which would ease his anxieties. After all, it was his fault. If he hadn’t given Sephiroth the idea to train him. If he was in better shape. If he was more capable and not a pathetic weakling. This was shaping to be another wonderful Mistake and like the last time, it was his fault. But unlike last time, the one he was losing was the man he loved.

---

Sephiroth was used to being restrained on a cold examination table with blinding lights over him. It was like Hojo had never died. However, he knew that the man standing over his broken body wasn’t Hojo, but the Avalanche scientist Fuhito. Fuhito who was unable to frighten him or make him beg. Even if his body was broken, his spirit wasn’t. After all, it was difficult to have a broken spirit when he knew that this was temporary. All he had to do was survive.

If he could survive Hojo, he was certain that he’d be able to survive who was shaping up to be, in his opinion, a poor replica of Hojo.

“Now let’s see what I can find out about the great Hojo’s greatest work,” Fuhito had said to himself, sounding rather excited as he felt the cold metal of a scalpel dig into his flesh over his sternum.

But what caught his attention and focus wasn’t anything Fuhito was doing as he closed his eyes and resigned himself to what fate had in store for him, but was on that strange sense which seemed to have been growing for some time. The strange sense he was certain was conveying to him Cloud’s emotional state. The sense seemed to grow stronger than it had been for some time, something he’d learned to correlate to Cloud being awake. Cloud was awake, which meant that Cloud was alive. 

‘Stay strong, Cloud. I will return to your side soon,’ he thought fondly towards that sense as if he was trying to reassure his mate boyfriend as he sensed sickeningly negative emotions through the sense, ‘as soon as I am able to walk, I will leave my captivity. You merely have to wait.’

---

Cloud swore he heard Sephiroth say something as he wallowed in guilt and grief on the couch. It was weird in that he couldn’t make out the words but he could hear his mate’s boyfriend’s voice, almost like there was distance or interference between them. But he could feel the reassurance through the weird sense. Did Sephiroth pick up his emotions like he could pick up Sephiroth’s?

“What’s wrong?” Zack asked.

“It’s nothing,” Cloud lied, not wanting to tell them that he might be able to detect Sephiroth’s emotions or having some sort of psychic link with Sephiroth since they might think he was insane, “I’m just tired. I think I’m going to spend the night here before returning to the barracks in the morning.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Sixteen

Loss and Rescue

Tseng knew Cloud’s side of things due to reports from the former Infantryman’s instructors. He flipped over reports from said instructors, which also included written reprimands in response to Cloud’s heightened temper during that window. So he leafed over the familiar reports to the next disc - one whose label told him that it was a section of Sephiroth’s interview from after he’d been successfully recovered, at least physically.

The screen opened up to a tired looking Sephiroth, whose hair had been removed and still had a purple line of flesh that had been clearly cut into the man’s scalp. Normally, those who had a whole section of their head opened up and then sealed back up took far longer to reach that level of healing - a testament to Sephiroth’s own abilities. The man’s eyes looked bloodshot and had dark circles in addition to clear signs of having been crying for some time despite having been recovered from Avalanche weeks prior. 

Tseng knew that the interview had to be delayed until Sephiroth had recovered enough, but even then, it was clear that it was still unknown if the man would make a full recovery - physically and psychologically.

---

Sephiroth grunted as he took a faltering step. The pain was different. Previously, his pelvis caused him agony in specific spots whenever he moved his legs. Now, it hurt specifically when he was standing or walking to the point that he found it particularly difficult to fight through the pain. He glanced down at his abdomen where his child was, wondering if the added weight would have changed anything. Patience would tell him so. 

After all, he refused to endanger his child while in Avalanche custody. He didn’t even want them to have his child’s corpse. He fell again, his arms instinctually cradling his abdomen as if doing so would protect his offspring. If it wasn’t the pain and the fact that his hip joints seemed to be limited in range compared to before, it was the fact that his balance was quite definitely off.

The door to his cell opened as his captor laughed. Clearly this poor approximation of Hojo took great glee from his difficulty. ‘Go ahead and enjoy my suffering. I will enjoy killing you once I’ve recovered,’ he thought sourly. 

“It appears that the Great General Sephiroth can’t even walk anymore,” Fuhito said with a laugh, “if only my countrymen could see how pathetic you’ve become.”

“I doubt you’ve come to gloat,” Sephiroth stated.

“True. Now that your previous injuries have healed, it’s time that my true work could begin.”

Sephiroth spent a period of time in a lab, or perhaps many labs, they were all the same that they all bled together. The only way he was capable of tracking time was by sleeps. At first, it was all testing to see how long it took him to heal, which did nothing but remind him of Hojo’s endurance tests that built up his pain tolerance. Then came the needles, some of which drew samples from his abdomen and pelvic area. He was certain they were gathering samples from his womb and likely collecting some of his new eggs. 

His eggs. Potential future children that were stolen from him.

Done while he was restrained. 

This was a new level of violation than he’d been familiar with under Hojo. And by someone who was even less of a scientist. 

And then came the razor blades, something he’d been protected from by his profitability within Shinra. Hojo had done this before. Once he knew his hair was gone, he heard the familiar sound of sawing. All he could do was what he’d done as a child in Hojo’s lab - focus on his breathing, not on anything else.

He didn’t know what Fuhito had done to his brain, but what he did know was that he felt a jolt run through his body and then found that he couldn’t even affect his own breathing. He tried to move his fingers. Tried to wriggle his toes. He couldn’t even blink and his eyes started to burn from the lack of moisture.

He’d become a prisoner in his own body.

“Let’s see if your healing ability extends to your brain,” Fuhito said with a laugh.

It hadn’t even been accidental.

The only kindnesses he experienced was that of Fuhito closing his eyes by pressing his eyelids together, inserting the nasogastric feeding tube and then following it up with an air mask and then keeping him in a mako tube.

Then time no longer existed because he lost consciousness.

---

Genesis knew that it was obviously a trap. Avalanche had apparently advertised the location of this lab, which formerly belonged to Hojo. It would be too out of character for the terrorists if it hadn’t been a trap. Genesis merely smirked as he strode through the compound - he didn’t care if it was a trap when his body was falling apart and additional sores had broken out around the wound in his shoulder, all seeping a black fluid. 

All he cared about was whether his friend was somewhere in the compound.

The empty compound that seemed as if no one had been there for weeks. 

“I can smell him,” a voice stated from behind him.

He spun around, seeing Sephiroth’s blond Infantryman behind him. He’d thought he was operating alone.

“How long have you been following me like a shadow?” he asked.

“Not long. Just once Zack and some of the other SOLDIERs have set up a perimeter,” the petite blond said with a smile.

“Other SOLDIERs?” he asked.

“We knew you’d do most of the legwork so Zack had some of his Turk buddies tail you and well, Seph is kinda important to SOLDIER so Zack floated the idea of an unofficial SOLDIER mission to recover Seph so… Lazard’s going to be yelling at the whole department once we get back to HQ. They’ve already entered through the other exits.”

Genesis couldn’t do anything but shake his head before asking, “since you volunteered for bloodhound duty, take point.”

He saw Cloud nod before leading them through the corridors that terminated at a set of double doors. 

The room beyond was dark with dried blood covering some of the grated floor, blood having dried on several tools, including a bone saw. Long strands of silver hair littering a section of floor like someone had shaved Sephiroth’s head. All were highlighted in a green glow that came from behind a corner. He heard Cloud gasp as the shorter man rounded the corner before letting out a cry.

Genesis saw his friend suspended in mako, naked, shaven, and with two clearly mostly healed incisions - one on his friend’s scalp where they clearly opened his friend’s skull, and the other on his friend’s abdomen. The second stitched-up incision was clearly newer. 

Worse was that he didn’t need to know a lot about medical things to know what the shape of his friend’s abdomen meant. Sephiroth was no longer pregnant.

“We found the target. We’re going to need a medical team in here to advise extraction,” he heard Cloud say into the radio, sounding like he was hanging on by a thread.

He gave Cloud a moment of silence before he spoke up, feeling as if he were encroaching on a private moment for Cloud.

“I’ll stand guard outside the doors,” he stated, “someone needs to secure the room.”

---

Cloud was both overjoyed that he’d found his mate boyfriend after so long. But he was also hit with sorrow. Either Sephiroth had miscarried or Avalanche killed their child. Either way, his anger and rage was centered on Avalanche. If they hadn’t taken his boyfriend, their child would likely still be alive. None of it was Sephiroth’s fault at all and he refused to allow any part of him to blame his boyfriend. The man likely put up a fight the whole time.

And looked so peaceful suspended in mako. He looked as if he were asleep, his arms lying limp at his sides, the green light revealing every peak and valley of the man’s musculature. He could almost see the familiar mane of silver drifting around him in the fluid. Another thing that had been taken.

“You’re safe now, dearest. I’m here as is everyone else,” he said to his boyfriend’s form as he placed his hand on the surface of the tube. 

His boyfriend never moved. 

“Medical team inbound from HQ, ETA is thirty. What’s the status of the target?” he heard Angeal ask over the radio, using military speak even if the man’s tone wasn’t as professional.

“Seph… the target isn’t in any danger best I can tell. He’s in a mako tube with a mask covering his nose and mouth and some sort of tube that is obscured by the mask,” he explained, “there’s also two other tubes connected to him. There’s two clear incisions - one is located on his bare scalp and another… on his abdomen.”

“I’m sorry, Cloud,” Angeal said, breaking his earlier professionalism, “I’m on my way.”

It took only minutes for Angeal to arrive and his grim expression never changed upon seeing Sephiroth.

“I see,” he said, “I know what these tubes are. The one hidden by the mask is a feeding tube.”

“And the other two?” Cloud asked.

“The most delicate way to explain is by saying waste disposal,” the larger man said lightly before shaking his head and muttering, “Sephiroth… what have they done to you?”

“He’s going to need everyone once he wakes up,” Cloud stated quietly.

“And for a while afterwards,” Angeal said with a frown before his expression turned fond, “Gen and I used to practically smother him after his appointments with Hojo. We’d all pitch in for some delivery, usually Wutain food. Zack would bring in some mindless movies to distract him from the day’s events. We knew when he was feeling better when he started to criticize the fight choreography and tactical failings of the characters.”

“We should do that for him when he gets discharged from the medics,” Cloud said with a smile.

“Or before if they decide to hold him longer than a few hours,” Angeal stated.

---

Tseng read the reports from the attending medics and frowned.

---

Cloud watched from behind the medics as the tube was drained. Sephiroth remained motionless, suspended completely by the restraints. The medics waited quietly for moments before tapping on the surface of the tube.

“He should have at least opened his eyes by now,” he heard one of the medics say.

“The mako concentration was over the toxicity level,” another medic said.

After a few more tense moments, they donned protective equipment before lifting the unconscious man from the tube before pouring water over him as they disconnected all but the feeding tube. Cloud had heard them debate on the feeding tube before they’d reached the consensus of leaving it in just in case it was needed later.

Once Sephiroth had been washed down, he was laid on a gurney and covered with a blanket before being strapped down to it. 

---

Sephiroth had woken up the moment he felt the cold water hit his body. He let out a mental howl of frustration as he realized that he still had no control over his body. At least, he was around medics who clearly cared more than Fuhito. They were discussing whether his unresponsiveness was due to mako poisoning due to having been exposed to a mako concentration of 55%. He inwardly chuckled. Last time Hojo had run a mako endurance test, he was subjected to 75% before he started to show any kind of symptoms that he couldn’t hide.

He felt himself be wrapped in a warm blanket before being strapped down to what he realized was a gurney before being wheeled out. Who was taking him where?

“Can I stay with him? I’m his… his boyfriend,” he’d heard Cloud say and he’d have smiled if he could.

No, he’d have hugged and kissed his boyfriend like he’d been starving for his boyfriend if he could. No one but Cloud would have been able to force him to let go of his boyfriend if he’d still had control over his body. It was then that he knew he was safe and with allies.

He was going home.

“That might be a good idea,” one of the medics said, “if it’s mako poisoning, victims tend to show some kind of response to those that are close.”

He wondered if that was true or was said to ease Cloud. He hadn’t read up on the latest research on mako poisoning, simply because he hadn’t deemed it important. 

He felt something soft cover his bare scalp as he felt a familiar hand hold his, going under the blanket to reach the skin. He yearned to give Cloud’s hand a squeeze, something to tell Cloud that he was mentally there with him. He pulled all of his focus and willpower into squeezing Cloud’s hand. He should be scared of crushing Cloud’s hand but he was trying to overcome the separation of his mind and his body.

“I think I just felt his hand move,” Cloud said as the craft they were in were well underway, likely to the nearest Shinra base.

“That’s a great sign,” the medic said, “it means he must know it’s you.”

---

Cloud paced outside the room where the medics were working on Sephiroth. No one but medics were allowed into the theater and all he could do was pace. Genesis had sat down in a chair and was reading from that book he seemed to always carry with him. Zack had gone off to get drinks and snacks from the vending machines. Angeal had gone off to take a call, likely from Lazard or Heidegger. 

All that was on Cloud’s mind was Sephiroth. How Sephiroth didn’t wake up when he should have, how he felt the barest squeeze. How Sephiroth would likely react once he woke up. Because Sephiroth would wake up.

Before his mind could spiral, Angeal and Zack approached from different directions. Zack’s arms was full of various drinks and snacks and Angeal looked serious.

“Any news?” Angeal asked.

“Not yet,” Cloud said quietly.

“He’ll be fine, Cloudy,” Zack chirped, “this is Seph we’re talking about. The guy’s practically invincible. Here, I got you your favorite chips and soda!”

Before he could dig into his snacks and drink, the door opened and the doctor emerged, looking grim.

“Good news, we’ve ruled out mako poisoning,” the doctor said.

“Which means you’ve got bad news,” Angeal stated.

“The patient remains unresponsive and we ran a scan. Apart from some interesting results in the pelvic region, there is clear brain trauma. A small section of the patient’s brain appears to have been excised. However, based on what we could tell, the patient’s body seems to be recovering from the damage. We hope that we can assist in the body’s recovery through maintaining a regeneration field and that over time, the patient would naturally wake up. We won’t know the full effects the trauma will have on the patient until that point. He may show no symptoms or have amnesia or be unable to create new memories. Or a wide range of symptoms. For now, you are welcome to visit him.”

---

Sephiroth figured that Hollander had Cloud excused from duty or Cloud was AWOL since his boyfriend was always at his side. He felt Cloud’s familiar touch stroking his face, holding his hands, and even felt Cloud’s lips on his own lips or on various parts of his face. And Cloud was constantly talking, almost as if he were channeling Zack. Perhaps it was how Cloud was dealing with the situation. Or Cloud wanted him to be aware of his constant presence. Or Cloud hoped that his voice would help with his recovery.

It was after they’d been moved again - Cloud informed him that they were moved to Headquarters - that Cloud had apparently run out of something to talk about.

He heard a PHS dial and the call connect.

“Hewley,” he heard Angeal’s voice on the other end.

“Hey Angeal,” Cloud said, “I hope I didn’t disturb you, but I was wondering if you knew what Sephiroth’s favorite book was.”

Hearing Cloud read his favorite book to him was a treat. What wasn’t a treat was just hearing how hoarse Cloud’s voice was getting. Cloud’s free hand would hold his whenever he wasn’t turning a page and decided to send a message to Cloud to take it easy by giving his hand a squeeze.

He focused on doing so again and noticed that it was easier this second time.

“Sephiroth?” he heard Cloud ask, stopping in his reading.

Since it was easier, he squeezed again.

He wondered if he could open his eyes.

It was harder because it was different and required moving other muscles but was easier because it didn’t require as much effort. It took a few minutes of struggling to open his eyes.

His eyes focused on the ceiling. At least it was better than darkness.

Cloud’s wonderful visage entered his field of view. Could he smile? He saw Cloud’s hand cover his eyes before pulling down his eyelids. No matter, he knew he could do more.

He waited until Cloud’s hand left his face before he opened his eyes again. And then he blinked.

“Are you there? Are you awake?” he heard Cloud ask.

He blinked and squeezed Cloud’s hand which was still in his. 

---

Chapter Text

Breaking and Grief

Cloud didn’t know what to think or feel after weeks of being apart from his boyfriend and then said boyfriend’s fast recovery. Still, what the doctor had told him kept ringing in his head. He kept his eyes on his boyfriend, wondering how much was due to Avalanche damaging Sephiroth’s brain and how much was just trauma.

Once Sephiroth had enough control of his body to sit up and see his flat abdomen, the man had immediately collapsed on the bed and covered his head with a blanket while hugging a pillow to him. He was still in a hospital room, so it was likely that Sephiroth didn’t want anyone to see his face and know that he was crying. He knew from the quiet gasps and sniffles. Feeling awkward, all he could do was do all he could to comfort his boyfriend over their shared loss. A child they never planned or expected that had been quite sudden for both of them.

Perhaps, the next child could be planned and would reach term. That was a nice thought, but one that was too soon on the heels of their recent loss. Now, all they wanted was to grieve.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get to you and our child in time,” Cloud said quietly, “I hope you can forgive me.”

“It’s my fault,” he heard his boyfriend sob quietly, “I wasn’t strong enough. Forgive me.”

“It’s not,” Cloud stated, “it never was. If someone needs to be blamed, it’s Avalanche.”

The next day, Sephiroth was discharged and was given a week’s leave to recover and mourn. He remained at his boyfriend’s side, half to give his boyfriend support and comfort and half because he’d noticed that Sephiroth needed help walking. He’d overheard that Sephiroth needed surgeries and physical therapy in order to regain more mobility because his pelvis hadn’t fused correctly. It wasn’t certain how much mobility Sephiroth would regain, but it was certain that it was more than what he currently had.

The surgery was planned for next Wednesday to give him half of his leave to recover. 

Once in his quarters, Sephiroth remained hidden in bed, surrounded by a close ring of blankets and pillows. Cloud had to let the rest of their family in due to Sephiroth hiding from the world. Zack carried in a movie and a large store-bought bag of buttery popcorn in one hand and a big stuffed moogle in the other. Angeal’s hands were full of bags from a Wutain restaurant, and Genesis was carrying a third bag of food and a fancy gift bag in one hand and the other had a bag that had large bottles poking out of it.

“Where’s Seph?” Zack asked.

“The moment we got here, he immediately bolted for the bedroom and closed the door,” Cloud said with a frown.

“Let’s get the food set up and we’ll see if it’ll get him to come out,” Angeal said with a smile.

Cloud knew to clap his hands over his ears the moment that he heard Genesis inhale.

“Come out, Sephiroth! We brought food, our presence, and get-well presents!” Genesis shouted.

“Genesis!” Angeal hissed with a frown as he set the food down on the coffee table, “that was uncalled for.”

“I know. Still don’t care,” Genesis stated, setting down everything he’d been carrying onto the only clear half of the coffee table before sweeping over to the door to Sephiroth’s bedroom.

He gave Sephiroth another moment to respond before calling out, “we’re not gonna let you sulk in there for ages, so come on out and enjoy what we’ve gotten you.”

“Just leave me be,” he heard Sephiroth say.

“You have three seconds to come out here or I’ll drag you out,” Genesis stated, unwilling to back down.

“Genesis, I don’t--” he heard Angeal say warningly.

“How much of ‘go away’ do you understand?” he heard Sephiroth shout from the other side of the door.

“Why don’t you let me talk to him?” Cloud offered quietly.

“Fine,” Genesis said with a sigh, backing off.

Cloud gave it a ten count before approaching the door and gave a small knock before saying, “hey, it’s me. Can I come in and talk?”

There was a moment of silence before he heard his boyfriend say, “very well.”

“Not good enough. I refuse to act on anything less than a yes or no, Seph.”

There was another moment before he heard a small, sobbed “yes” that he was certain was too small for anyone but him to hear. He opened the door and slipped in, closing the door behind him. Sephiroth was in the same position he’d left his boyfriend in and climbed into bed next to his boyfriend, who was clearly still crying.

“Do you want me to chase them off?” Cloud asked.

“No. I… I like knowing that they’re here,” Sephiroth responded between quiet sobs.

“You know they’ve been planning this the whole time you were in the hospital room,” he stated.

“Yes. I… I thought I’d be ready. I’m not. I… I’m lesser than I was,” Sephiroth sobbed.

“Bullshit,” Cloud stated, “you’re no more nor no less than you’ve always been, Seph. No matter what they did to you, they never diminished you. We all know that.”

“But they took so much from me,” Sephiroth gasped before shaking with another sob, “more than just our child and my hair and part of my brain. They took eggs. My eggs. Our future potential children that I can’t… that I’ll never…”

He clung to Sephiroth as hard as he could, hoping that it would give him comfort. 

“It’s all over now. And we all missed you, Seph. I doubt they’ll care if you’re weepy and crying. We’re all just happy that you’re back and alive,” Cloud stated, “and you haven’t eaten in a while.”

There was a pause as Sephiroth stilled.

“How long has it been?” Sephiroth asked, his voice now utterly quiet and without emotion.

“At least four hours,” Cloud said.

He felt more than saw Sephiroth leave the bed. The light flashed on, blinding him with a hiss of pain from him. As he blinked his blindness away, he saw Sephiroth stagger to where his usual battle dress was and saw his boyfriend start to put it on.

“Seph?” he asked quietly.

“I shall return,” Sephiroth stated as he quickly finished getting dressed and stalked out.

“Sephiroth!” Genesis exclaimed, “glad to see you join us! Wait, what are you--”

“I’m going out. I shall return in a bit,” Sephiroth stated in an empty tone.

“Where are you going, Sephiroth?” Angeal asked.

“Out,” Sephiroth responded as he left the bedroom to see his boyfriend grabbing Masamune.

“You know the rules,” Angeal stated, calling out to him from near the couch.

“The VR Room,” Sephiroth stated.

“Someone should go with you, just in case,” Angeal stated.

“No. I will be fine,” Sephiroth stated before he stalked out of the room.

“I’m worried about him,” Zack stated.

“I think we all are, Zack,” Cloud said with a frown.

Cloud was only partially surprised when Angeal got a call a half an hour later and left.

“What was that about?” Cloud asked.

“Right, you don’t have our kind of hearing,” Zack stated, “Lazard called Angeal because the VR Room’s being damaged.”

Cloud looked between Zack and Genesis, seeing no surprise on their faces.

“Isn’t that unusual?” Cloud asked.

“For someone like you, yes,” Genesis stated, “For someone like Sephiroth? The three of us have broken that room a few times.”

“A few?” Zack asked.

“Each,” Genesis added, “what likely happened is that Sephiroth was letting out some steam. He probably needed that. I know if I’ve been through what was done to him, lots of things would be on fire.”

“No offense, but I think half of Gaia would be on fire in that scenario,” Zack stated.

“I did say lots,” Genesis stated, “starting with Avalanche themselves. I still need to burn to the ground for what they did.”

“I think we all want to see them pay, Genesis,” Zack stated with a frown.

When Angeal arrived, he was carrying Sephiroth on his back and with them, Cloud swore he could smell blood. Sephiroth clearly was doing his best to hide his presence before Angeal placed him down on the couch. It was then that Cloud could see how bloody Sephiroth was. There were small rivulets of dried blood where the leather didn’t cover and he looked like he’d walked through an inferno with all the soot on him. Sephiroth refused to look at anyone as he silently wept and curled in on him.

“I’ll get the soap and a washcloth,” Genesis volunteered before whisking away to his task. 

“Is there something I can do?” Cloud asked.

“You can help me get his armor and coat off,” Angeal said with a small smile.

Together, they eased Sephiroth from the clothing and armor that was above his belt, revealing scabbed over lacerations that had punctured the leather. 

“Seph? Are you okay?” Cloud asked as Angeal and Genesis started to clean off the soot and dried blood.

“I… no, Cloud,” Sephiroth replied quietly, “I don’t think I ever will be.”

“Talk to me,” Cloud stated.

“What do you want me to say?” Sephiroth asked, his voice small and empty of emotion as tears continued to fall.

Cloud had to think for a moment before saying, “I want to know why. Why you rushed off and why you’re hurt like this.”

“I forgot, Cloud,” Sephiroth stated, “I forgot the last time I ate.”

Cloud blinked and frowned before asking, “is that it? That’s something that kinda happens.”

He flinched under Sephiroth’s teary yet piercing stare before his boyfriend said, “not to me. I’ve never forgotten anything since I was a toddler.”

“Maybe it’s temporary,” Cloud offered with a hopeful smile.

---

Cloud noticed that Sephiroth’s mood hadn’t lightened up, not after eating dinner of Wutain food, which he learned was Sephiroth’s favorite, not after the gifts - the large stuffed moogle from Zack, wine and dark chocolates from Genesis, and a framed collage of their family from Angeal - and not after a cheesy movie and popcorn. 

He curled up around his boyfriend, draping himself against Sephiroth’s massive back, his arm that was wrapped as much around his boyfriend as possible moved with every shuddering, silent sob. Aching to speak but knowing that words won’t remove what had been done, Cloud remained silent apart from small proclamations of love. As if being reminded of his love and presence would give his boyfriend some amount of comfort.

The worst of it was when Cloud was awoken in the night. Sephiroth was murmuring and whimpering, tears running down his face. 

“My child… mine…” he heard Sephiroth whimper in clear pain.

Cloud closed his eyes and held Sephiroth tighter. Even asleep, his boyfriend couldn’t escape their shared loss of their child. As Sephiroth continued suffering in his nightmare, Cloud promised himself that he would do his best to give Sephiroth even just the smallest moment of comfort in the coming day.

Things only got worse when Cloud started to notice that Sephiroth had forgotten a few tasks that formed his morning ritual. He did his best to be subtle with his reminders, but every time he’d thought he was being subtle, Sephiroth’s anger obviously peaked. However, he’d be far more worried if Sephiroth’s anger was targeted at him rather than inwards.

“I’m going to go lay down in bed for a while,” Sephiroth stated after breakfast.

“Or we can bathe together,” Cloud offered. 

He heard Sephiroth let out a sigh before asking, “is that why I saw you carry those chocolates into the bathroom?”

At least Sephiroth didn’t put up a fight as he pulled his boyfriend into the bathroom. At least he was able to use the chocolates as an excuse to lure his boyfriend into the tub rather than reminding Sephiroth. They merely cuddled together and kissed as he slipped chocolates into his boyfriend’s mouth. Even then, Cloud could see the lingering pain in Sephiroth’s eyes, in the red eyes and eyelids from all the tears. Carefully, he got up on the edge of the tub to give him the height to allow him to give his boyfriend a scalp massage, hoping that the feel of his fingers there would give him some comfort.

“Cloud, please stop,” Sephiroth said after a few seconds into the massage.

Immediately pulling his hands from Sephiroth’s scalp, he apologized saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just… I remembered how you enjoyed feeling my fingers on--”

“I enjoyed feeling your fingers running through my hair,” Sephiroth spat, correcting him, “and if you’ve forgotten, that’s one of many things that are gone!”

Without speaking more, Sephiroth flipped the switch near the drain to start draining the tub and left the bathroom with a towel in hand, drying himself as he walked.

Cloud didn’t know what to do. He’d only intended on making Sephiroth feel better, but he’d only made it worse. And it didn’t help that Sephiroth’s scent smelled utterly foul as he left, making Cloud feel sick to his stomach. Deciding to give Sephiroth some time and space, he went about drying himself and then figuring out what they should do for lunch - Angeal promised the previous night that he’d be over to make dinner for their family and to not touch the leftover Wutain food under pain of lecture. 

While busy rummaging through the kitchen, he hadn’t been aware of Sephiroth’s approach.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth said, announcing his presence.

He turned around, seeing Sephiroth wearing only black sweatpants and a faded light-blue shirt that once had a printed-on design of some sort. Sephiroth had a familiar duffel in his hands and a grim expression.

“I think it’s best for both of us if our relationship ended here,” Sephiroth stated, “you deserve better than I am now and I can’t promise that I’ll ever be like the version of me you fell in love with. And I… I refuse to torture you like that.”

Cloud stated at Sephiroth before asked, “you… you’re… dumping me?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth said, “I am no longer the man you fell in love with. I am just the shattered remains of what’s left. I… I don’t know if I could give you what was promised. And I refuse to see you hurt because they took so much from me… from us.”

“Please don’t, Seph,” Cloud said, feeling tears flow anew, “after all we’ve been through…”

“That’s precisely why,” Sephiroth stated, “please take your duffel and leave.”

“And if I don’t?” Cloud asked, crossing his arms.

“I likely still have the upper body strength to pick you up,” Sephiroth stated.

“And you have trouble walking,” Cloud stated, “and remembering to eat and take care of yourself. I can’t leave you like this. Please don’t do this, Seph. I don’t care what they took from you. All I care about is what they left. I still love you, Seph.”

“And I love you too, Cloud,” Sephiroth replied as tears started to fall, “I…I love you so much that it hurts that I can’t be who I once was anymore. That I can’t be strong and protect you, that I couldn’t protect our child. I’ve strove for so long to be strong and knowing that I--”

Noticing Sephiroth starting to sway on his feet, he moved to catch the man he loved before he could get hurt more than he already was. His arms wrapped around the larger man who was now mostly collapsed on him as he felt an ankle twist painfully, causing him to cry out in pain. Sephiroth immediately moved with a pained sound and moved him to ease the pressure on his ankle before cradling him in his arms.

“And look at what I’ve done to you!” Sephiroth exclaimed, “you deserve so much better than--”

Cloud knew that Sephiroth would continue on unless he could shut the idiot up and so he did, the only way he knew how. His arms darted out to grasp the larger man’s head and pulled him down for a desperate and passionate kiss. Hoping that he could get through the man’s thick skull easier, he deepened the kiss as he felt Sephiroth’s arms wrapping around him more tightly. He needed Sephiroth to know, to understand how he felt. The foul sourness of Sephiroth’s scent lessened but was still present. Pulling back, he hoped that it was a promising sign.

“I can’t have you leave in your current condition,” Sephiroth said once he’d obviously caught his breath.

“Then I guess you’re stuck with me,” Cloud said with a smile.

“For a bit longer, yes,” Sephiroth stated as he uneasily carried Cloud to the couch before he collapsed onto the couch with Cloud laying atop him.

“Still breaking up with me?” Cloud asked, relaxing in the familiar feeling.

“Only once you leave,” Sephiroth said.

“Then I won’t ever leave,” Cloud responded before pulling Sephiroth into another deep kiss.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Eighteen

Retreading Old Ground

Sephiroth found himself back in his office, counting down the minutes until his half-day stuck behind the desk was over, which he kept track of with a note to himself placed in a location that he could see and comparing the time listed on the note to the current time. Since he hadn’t gotten medical clearance for full duty, he was expected to wear appropriate attire for his current duty - which consisted of slacks, a button-down shirt, and a blazer jacket which he had left unbuttoned. 

His mind wandered as he mindlessly filed away paperwork, remembering what had transpired only weeks ago. 

He’d managed to move Cloud off of him and into a much better position on the couch, freeing him to make his way to where he kept his primary set of materia - with his combat gear. Grasping his mastered Curaga materia, he cast a Curaga on Cloud before rejoining Cloud on the couch.

“I want you to return to your normal duties starting tomorrow. I don’t require your further assistance and I have pulled you away from your training too much as it is. You are free to stay for dinner, but I want you to leave in time to make it back to the barracks before curfew,” Sephiroth stated, “and then I want you to forget about me.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Cloud stated with a frown.

Sephiroth stared at his junior, surprised that the younger male was actively opposing him. 

“You need me, Seph. Now more than ever after all you’ve been through,” Cloud stated, “I get that you’re hurt deeply and you feel unworthy of me so you’re pushing me away but I’m not letting you push me away.”

“No,” Sephiroth stated, feeling a deep frown curl on his lips as he hissed, “I don’t need you. I don’t need to be constantly reminded of what I’ve lost. And that’s all you are, Cloud. A painful reminder of what could have been. A reminder of how I was never meant for what I thought I wanted. You are simply no longer wanted or needed, Cloud.”

“And what was it that you thought you wanted?” Cloud asked quietly.

Sephiroth turned away from Cloud, not wanting to gaze upon the blond whose very visage still affected him as much as his scent. The scent which pulled at him, threatened to overcome his willpower, to drive him to do nothing more than cling to Cloud and never let go. To pretend that what had transpired never did and they were still on the verge of becoming a family together, bound to each other and their shared offspring. But the offspring was lost and he hadn’t been strong enough to have stopped it. 

Perhaps, it wasn’t a matter of strength, but a matter of humanity. That he just wasn’t human enough to be worthy of having a proper family of his own.

“Does it matter? It’s all gone now. And you are the only reminder I have, outside of my newest scars,” he said quietly.

“It matters because you’re grieving and I… I want to help you through this, Seph,” Cloud stated.

“Stop calling me that,” Sephiroth snapped, “we are no longer that close.”

“I dunno about that. All the kissing we’ve been doing has said otherwise,” Cloud stated.

“A mistake on my part,” Sephiroth stated with a frown as he sat down on an upholstered chair near the couch, “one that I will no longer make.”

“Or maybe, you truly don’t want our relationship to end and you’re just too upset to see past your need to suffer alone,” Cloud said evenly.

“I refuse to acknowledge that as a possibility,” he stated as he picked up the book he’d been reading off the coffee table and started to read.

In the end, he’d gotten Cloud to leave and see to his duties and training at the very least. But the blond had continued to text him at least twice a day. It was both touching and annoying that Cloud still sent him messages every morning when he woke up and every night, wishing him a good night. 

Both Angeal and Genesis had been giving him looks as they noticed that Cloud had gone back to active duty, leaving him to tend to himself. Angeal’s expression was always of concern while Genesis looked rather irate. In the end, he was able to take care of himself, electing to stay under medical supervision post-operation to ensure that his pelvis healed properly this time. At least, healed enough that he was able to be mobile in a wheelchair unless it was for bodily requirements or during physical therapy. 

Once his half-day of dealing with paperwork ended, he made his way to his physical therapy appointment, an event that was scheduled for him three times a week. 

Two hours later, he was looking forward to a long, hot soak in his tub to try to relieve the pain and stiffness he felt. At least, he was able to tell that he was making substantial progress and might be able to move on to walking with assistance to control the stress he’d be putting his pelvis under. However, his plans changed the moment that he opened his door.

He knew Cloud was in his quarters due to Cloud’s scent. His immediate reaction happened completely involuntary as he became aware of fluid leaking from the thing and that he was immediately erect. Hoping that the involuntary response would simply go away if he ignored it long enough, he entered his quarters, closing the door behind him as he noticed that Cloud was baking something sweet.

Before he could call out to Cloud, the blond popped his head out from the corner where the kitchenette was and gave him a wide smile. His rebellious body responded to the blond by making him feel as though his heart was failing at the sight of the blond’s smile. 

“What are you doing here, Cloud?” he asked, keeping himself from yelling or becoming putty in Cloud’s presence.

“Baking cookies, mostly,” Cloud chirped with a smile, “it was Ma’s idea. I told her that our child was lost and she suggested that I should treat you to cookies and to pamper you, even if you’d fight me on it. She still thinks I knocked up a girl though and out of consideration, I kept the entire situation vague.”

“I don’t require you to pamper me,” Sephiroth growled, “take your cookies and leave.”

He watched as Cloud stepped fully out of the kitchenette and placed his hands on his hips with a clearly determined smirk before asking, “and what’ll you do if I don’t? You’re in no shape to physically throw me out and I doubt the others would do that for you considering I’ve been in touch with Angeal, Genesis, and Zack and they all think you’re being an idiot.”

“I’m not being an idiot! I just don’t want to be with you anymore,” he nearly shouted.

“Well, that boner of yours and your scent says otherwise,” Cloud snapped back with a smirk.

“It was completely involuntary, if you must know!” he snapped back.

“Then why is it that I think if we kissed, you’d be begging me for more?” Cloud asked.

“Because you’re delusional. I never beg!”

“I bet you that I could make you beg,” Cloud said in a tone of voice that did nothing but made his body respond more.

“What would you wager?” Sephiroth asked.

“That if you lose, you’d let me be with you and take care of you,” Cloud said before letting out a sigh, his flirtatious and mildly confrontational state changing, turning into something more earnest and serious, “I… I’ve been going crazy, Sephiroth. A part of me is screaming at me to take care of you. To see to your every need. I… I need you. And honestly, it’s rather unfair for me to not only lose my child but the one I love as well.”

Sephiroth looked away, knowing that he couldn’t say what he needed to say while looking at Cloud’s sad expression. Or perhaps, it wasn’t truly what he needed to say. Frustration bubbled up as he didn’t know what to do and he let it out verbally in a loud, soundless cry. What did he truly feel? What did he truly need to say? What did he truly want? 

He felt Cloud’s hands cradling his face as he felt tears fall down his cheeks. They were wiped away by Cloud once they got within his reach. Feeling Cloud’s lips on his forehead, he wanted to curl in on himself and push Cloud away but he also wanted to pull Cloud in. 

“I knew that you had physical therapy today so I ran a bath for you on the hot side so it’s still pretty warm when you got here,” Cloud explained, his voice gentle, “I’ll bring in the cookies when they’re ready.”

“And then what?” Sephiroth asked, already wheeling himself to the bathroom.

“That’s up to you. But I’m not leaving you,” Cloud stated.

When Sephiroth entered the bathroom, he saw that the bathroom was prepared for him beyond his usual. Cloud had set up lavender scented candles and had added some sort of soap based on the bubbles, likely a bath bomb. It was set up all in a way that he would find soothing and a little extravagant. 

He didn’t understand why the tears came, but he found himself unable to stop crying again. Getting up from the wheelchair, he removed his clothing and settled himself into the water, finding that it was barely too hot for his liking. He closed his eyes and tried to get his tears under control. Why was he crying?

Cloud obviously had done this to pamper him. To show him that he still cared. That Cloud still cared about him, even after all that had transpired. He guessed that what he felt was cared for, an experience that was alien to him before Cloud entered his life. The same feeling he’d felt that evening when he’d had a bad day and Cloud had treated him to an extravagant bath and fed him those chocolate covered berries. 

Even after he’d pushed Cloud away and knew he’d been hurtful and neglectful, Cloud still cared. 

He curled up on himself in the bath, feeling shame. Cloud had always cared, even after the loss of their offspring. Likely the loss had never affected how much Cloud cared for him. 

He lost track of time - something he noticed had become a regular occurrence since he was rescued - until Cloud entered the bathroom with a plate of cookies.

“I… I have had a lot to deal with as of late,” Sephiroth stated.

“I know,” Cloud stated.

“Do you now?” Sephiroth asked, noticing how bitter his voice sounded but didn’t care, “so you know that my emotions have running rampant, that there’s discussions of keeping me permanently on desk duty half because of my physical state and half because they don’t know if I could be trusted with sharp objects and materia because of my emotions? That I keep forgetting things? That I’ve had to make notes to myself in ways that no one notices in order to hide the fact that I keep forgetting everything? When previously, I remembered everything effortlessly? The first morning I woke up after I had broken up with you, I thought you left me until half the day had passed when I finally remembered. And worse! I don’t understand my own emotions half the time! I’m pulled constantly between rage and hatred and anger and needing you to be away from me because you deserve better or because I feel that its safer for you and needing you to be here in my arms because you make me feel better and I know that… that you’d keep me from hurting others and knowing I keep hurting you and…”

His voice had revealed his shifting emotional state, going from bitter to rage to loss and frustration before he finally broke down in tears.

“Hey,” he heard Cloud say as he realized that Cloud was now naked and in the tub with him because Cloud was pulling him into a tight embrace as he noisily wept, “it’s going to be okay. I’m here. Just let it all out. It’s going to be okay.”

Cloud continued to gently say such soothing things, telling him to let it all out as he clung to Cloud and noisily wept until the water had grown cold and his tears had stopped because he felt unable to produce any more tears. 

“Let’s get out of the tub and dry off,” Cloud stated, his voice still soothing.

He merely nodded as he noticed the sound of water draining and the feeling of Cloud helping him out of the tub before he found himself sitting on a towel on his wheelchair. Before he could grab a towel to dry himself off, Cloud was drying him with a soft and luxurious towel beyond any that he had. Did Cloud buy him special towels too? Cloud had paid special attention to dry off every inch of him almost reverently, which brought his erection back.

Cloud’s scent changed in that moment, going from something he found soothing to something that was setting his body on fire. 

“You smell so good,” Sephiroth commented, trying hard not to drool.

“Not as good as you’ve smelled all day, but it’s gotten even better just now,” Cloud said in a husky tone that did nothing but make it more difficult to not lunge at Cloud, “let’s work out our pent-up need. How does that sound?”

“How does my lunging at you now sound?” Sephiroth responded before he was sped to the bedroom and he leapt onto the bed with Cloud behind him.

Cloud pounced on him before he could roll onto his back, the younger man’s tongue suddenly entering his moist passage which caused him to cry out in bliss. His cries grew louder as one of Cloud’s hands gripped his erection. However, as wonderful as it felt, it wasn’t what he needed.

“Please! Cloud!” he cried out in pleasure, getting a questioning sound from Cloud which vibrated into him, “I need you! Fuck me!”

He felt Cloud immediately move to delve his penis into his depths until he’d bottomed out. Sephiroth had enough of a mind to wonder if Cloud was even bigger than last time or if it was simply that it had been so long since their last coupling. Those thoughts disappeared into the haze of desire and pleasure as soon as Cloud started a punishing rhythm, fucking Sephiroth into Cloud’s grip. Part of him wanted Cloud to slow down and part of him roared for more.

Even after he’d climaxed and he felt Cloud empty into him, he wanted more and Cloud continued to feed his desire. Time no longer mattered to Sephiroth as he rode wave after wave of pleasure and desire, spending the time between climaxes with Cloud deep within him as they kissed and scratched and bit each other, sometimes even drawing blood and bruising each other.

Sephiroth woke up feeling exhausted and like his body was beyond his strength to move. He, his bed, and the bedroom smelled sickeningly sweet as well as the overpowering scent of sweat and cum. The last time he felt this way was when he woke up the day after his first coupling with Cloud. This time, he remembered what they had done. It was hard not to when he felt like he needed a long shower to clean himself. Would he get pregnant again?

What if he also lost this one too?

What if Fuhito had done something to sterilize him?

“I’m here, Seph,” he heard Cloud say as he felt the familiar arms wrap around him, “speak to me.”

“I fear that we might have…engaged in the same activities that had led to my getting pregnant in the first place,” Sephiroth stated.

“You… smelled similar to the way you had that time,” Cloud said quietly.

Sephiroth merely let out a sigh. Perhaps whatever Hojo had done to him caused his body to crave being pregnant. If anything, it made him feel as though he had the right idea in keeping Cloud away from him. But at the same time, he was happier with Cloud in his life. It was like his existence was emptier without Cloud’s presence. 

His thoughts ground to a halt when he heard his stomach growl.

“I’ll order us some breakfast,” Sephiroth stated, “I doubt you want to cook if you feel anything like I do.”

---

Tseng flipped to the next page, a report from Hollander that Sephiroth requested to be given a contraceptive and birth control, the requests were fulfilled by Hollander with notes that he didn’t know the effects of additional female hormones would have on Sephiroth.

The next page chronicled Sephiroth’s further progress towards mobility, eventually regaining much of his former level of ability and was then placed back on active duty. Everything seemed to have returned to normalcy.

At least until Nibelheim.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen

Mothers and Sons

Sephiroth had taken up pacing, feeling exhausted because he’d woken up feeling as though a deep part of him was in a state of distress. It had been a recurring sensation, always interrupting his thoughts during the day and his sleep during the night. Like a part of him had been cut off and was trying to reach out to him. Like his offspring was alive somewhere on Gaia, in Avalanche’s hands. 

His offspring which had been cut and torn from him.

What if his offspring wasn’t truly dead, just misplaced?

After all, they had never found his offspring’s body. There was no proof of whether it was dead. 

“What’s wrong?” Cloud asked, stirring from their bed.

“What if our child is still alive, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked.

“We don’t know that, Seph,” Cloud stated, “in all likelihood, they’re in the lifestream now.”

“We don’t know for sure,” Sephiroth stated.

“Avalanche’s files showed that you had a miscarriage and required an emergency operation,” Cloud stated.

“They could be falsified. Made to cover their tracks to prevent me from hunting them down,” Sephiroth stated.

“Seph, we’ve been over this,” Cloud said with a sigh and a groan, falling back onto the pillows, “why don’t you come back to bed?”

“I think I’ll feel better after a walk,” Sephiroth stated, getting dressed in his battle gear, “and then I’ll get a start on the day.”

“I’ll bring you breakfast at the usual time,” Cloud grumbled as he rolled over in bed.

---

When Cloud showed up to Sephiroth’s office with an omelet and a cup of coffee, Sephiroth wasn’t there. Assuming that Sephiroth had something important that had drawn him away from the office, he left the food there before going to his usual Infantry duties. 

By the time it was lunch, he returned to Sephiroth’s office, seeing that the omelet and coffee was untouched.

“Hey, have you seen Seph today?” Zack asked, approaching him.

“Not since he woke up in the middle of the night. He said he was going to go out for a walk and then he’d get an early start on work,” Cloud stated.

Zack frowned before groaning, “aw man, this can’t be good. If he doesn’t contact Lazard soon, he’ll be listed as MIA.”

“Zack, I’m sure he’ll be back,” Cloud said, trying to reassure his friend.

‘Because if he isn’t, I’ll drag him back myself,’ he thought.

---

Tseng sat in the SOLDIER briefing room, having arrived early for the briefing. He understood precisely why he was there. He had intel that Lazard required for the operation the SOLDIER Director was performing. And he was also likely going to play a supporting role.

The next to arrive was Infantryman Strife, Sephiroth’s lover. He was well aware of their relationship following what had occurred in Modeoheim. At least Strife was also early. The same couldn’t be said about Zack. At least Zack was more punctual than Rhapsodos, which he had to admit was a rather low expectation to meet.

“As all of you are aware, SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth has gone missing yesterday morning,” Lazard stated.

“He’s not technically MIA yet,” Zack said defiantly.

“But he did hack into the file detailing known Avalanche locations,” Tseng stated, “and surveillance last saw him exiting Midgar on a motorcycle he clearly obtained prior to his departure. We believe he may have gone rogue with the intent on taking out Avalanche locations.”

“He was saying that he believes that our child may be still alive in Avalanche custody,” Cloud stated, “but that’s impossible. Viability starts at 23 weeks, right? He was only 19 weeks along based on the date in the files taken from the lab.”

“If the fetus was removed days before Sephiroth was recovered, it would be within viability. If the fetus is as resilient as Sephiroth, there is a likelihood that it may also be viable earlier with the proper facilities,” Tseng stated calmly.

“Wait, are you saying that Sephiroth might be right?” Zack asked.

“There is a chance of that, yes,” Tseng said calmly, “which is why Director Verdot is willing to give Sephiroth all the support he requires.”

“However, Sephiroth is too emotionally compromised to deal with this situation properly,” Lazard stated.

“Personally, I agree with his idea to hit them hard for all they’ve done to us and everyone else,” Zack stated, clenching his fists.

Perhaps Zack was also too emotionally close. Strife as well, but Strife was recommended due to his performance and ability to track Sephiroth down. He also doubted that Strife would remain in Midgar while Sephiroth had gone rogue. 

“Such observation and retrieval operations are typically where us Turks are involved. Partially due to the risk of collateral damage and SOLDIERs’ penchant for stealth,” Tseng said, saying the last bit with some level of sarcasm.

---

Sephiroth let out a sigh as he trudged back to his motorcycle as he crossed out another location on his map that had been circled. He flinched as another wave of distress hit him. One thing he’d noticed on his journey was that the more he traveled, the stronger and more frequent such waves hit him. All he could do was try to reach out to the source with soothing thoughts, hoping that the source understood that soon, its distress would end. 

He worked out his next target, seeing that from Modeoheim, he could easily get to the northern part of the Eastern Continent and then travel south to the next location. Getting to the Eastern Continent was rather easy considering that the Bone Village archeological site required frequent resupplying from said continent. 

---

Cloud felt odd to be in Nibelheim as an Infantryman and without Sephiroth. He’d hoped that the next time he returned, it would either have been as a SOLDIER or with Sephiroth. Tseng had believed that Sephiroth would be heading to Nibelheim since Avalanche was seen active in the village, having taken residence in the abandoned manor.

Cloud wasn’t too surprised that Avalanche was in Nibelheim - the village wasn’t exactly all that thrilled about the mako reactor. Especially since the vegetation has since started to thin out and die and the local wildlife had started being affected by the reactor as well. He’d heard stories how lush the forests around Nibelheim had been before the reactor, how easy it was to hunt for food and forage for berries. He believed that it was all just the elders making the pre-reactor days seem better.

They got glares from the townspeople, something Cloud also expected since they were there as Shinra employees. 

“Finally here to take away the reactor?” someone jeered.

“Have any of you seen SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth?” Tseng asked.

“We ain’t telling you Shinra assholes anything,” another person said.

“Go back to Midgar and take the reactor with you,” another voice called out.

“Very friendly village, ain’t it?” Zack asked.

“Do you know where they could be?” Tseng asked Cloud, who had kept his infantry helmet on.

Before Cloud could say anything, there was an explosion. He looked around to spot the location and saw smoke and flames rising from what he knew as the abandoned mansion.

---

Sephiroth crept through the building that seemed so familiar. He didn’t know why he felt it was so familiar. As he did, he found that his head was starting to ache as he felt like he was being pulled in two directions by conflicting forces. One force was sheer malignant hate and rage that beckoned to him, pulling at him to lash out at all who have wronged him, and another was the force of the now constant distress, pulling at him to come to the source and comfort it. 

He elected to focus on the cause of his travels - the pull of distress. 

Finding a stairway down to the basement from the second floor, he descended. As he did, the pull of distress overpowered him as did his recollection. Deciding to leave no door unopened, he opened the first door he found, seeing that there were coffins in the room. However, what piqued his interest was the fact that there was the sound of breathing coming from it.

Not wanting to leave a potential enemy at his back, he opened that coffin by slicing off the lock. The moment the heavy lock hit the floor, he found himself facing down three barrels of the weirdest gun he’d ever seen.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” the black haired gunman demanded, glowing red eyes glaring at him before blinking, “is your name Sephiroth, by any chance?”

“You must have spent considerable time locked in that coffin if you do not know precisely who I am without question,” Sephiroth stated, “but yes. My name is Sephiroth.”

The gunman lowered his weapon in a fluid movement, signaling that he didn’t view Sephiroth as a threat, “I am Vincent Valentine. I know your mother.”

“My… mother? I was told that she died in childbirth,” Sephiroth stated.

“You were taken from her by Hojo,” Vincent replied, continuing to hide half of his face behind the high collar of his tattered red cloak.

“Is she still alive?” Sephiroth asked.

“Last I knew, she was. Kind of,” Vincent said, “what brings you here?”

“This place has been taken by Avalanche. I believe they have my child,” Sephiroth explained.

“I will assist in the recovery of your child,” Vincent immediately said, “I will follow your lead.”

Sephiroth merely nodded before taking point, feeling relieved that he had a potential ally at his back. Vincent was as silent as he was, which made him wonder if the man had any Turk training.

The next door led to a library which was devoid of people before he came to a lab. He flinched as he knew this room. He knew this room in a way that made him want to run away. He’d lived in this very room before he was moved to Midgar. So Nibelheim was his hometown as well as Cloud’s. He allowed himself a small smile at that before turning serious as he noticed that there was a mako pod that was full of mako.

As he approached, he saw a small form floating among the mako, limbs flailing as he felt another spike of distress hit him before he saw the small form stilling, turning to look at him. Slit-pupil eyes stared at him for a long moment, light colored hair - the mako made it hard to see whether the infant’s hair was silver or blonde - drifting around it. The distress peaked again as he saw dark fluid enter the infant through an IV. 

“Beautiful child,” Vincent said with some warmth before he turned serious, “I’ll cover for you.”

Sephiroth gave Vincent a nod as he started to run the draining protocol on the tank and stopped whatever was being injected into his child. Soon, the infant was laying on the floor of the tank, but wasn’t laying there long before he picked up the child and carried it to where he could rinse the mako off the infant and remove the IV. During the quick bath, he determined that he had a daughter whose hair was a platinum blonde - a color that was between both his and Cloud’s hair color and had blue eyes with a slit pupil - also a combination of her parents’. 

Finding a thick but soft towel, he wrapped the infant - his daughter - in the soft fabric before realizing that he didn’t know how to hold a baby.

“Vincent, do you know how to hold a baby?”

“I have no practical knowledge on the matter,” Vincent stated, “I surmise you cradle the baby in your arms.”

Hoping that his mental connection to his daughter would assist, he finally found a position using his off-hand to press her against his body securely while allowing him to hold Masamune in his left. His daughter was now placid in his arms and very likely asleep as he left the building, stopping to gaze upon the foul building and what it meant to now three generations.

The building was the site where he was stolen from his mother and where his child had been experimented on and then abandoned in a mako tank. As far as he cared, it should be destroyed.

“Sephiroth?” Vincent asked.

“I was just contemplating about this building. It has caused three generations of pain. It was the site where I was abducted from my mother and was experimented on for the first part of my life and it is where my daughter was experimented upon and then abandoned. Perhaps, it should be destroyed lest it trouble the next generation of my family,” Sephiroth stated.

“It will gather Hojo’s attention,” Vincent stated.

“Hojo’s dead. I pulled his beating heart from his body and watched him die,” Sephiroth stated.

“While I refuse to pity a monster’s passing, I would have enjoyed shooting him the same way as he’d shot me,” Vincent stated, “however, it is a relief to hear.”

Requiring no further warning, he channeled his Dark Firaga through Masamune, setting the building ablaze with an explosion. 

“Unknowns approaching,” Vincent warned as the man disappeared in a fluid movement of red fabric.

“Sephiroth!” Cloud’s recognizable voice called out to him as he saw the younger man race toward him. 

Careful not to jostle their daughter, he ran to approach Cloud with a smile, “Cloud!”

Cloud stopped the moment he saw the bundle in his arms before asking, “is that…?”

Sephiroth nodded with a grin, “our daughter. Yes.”

Cloud drew closer to look at their daughter, cooing at the infant before Sephiroth asked, “do you want to carry her?”

Cloud nodded wordlessly before Sephiroth awkwardly handed her off, “they abandoned her. Left her in a mako tank where they injected an unknown substance into her.”

“She has your bangs and eyebrows,” Cloud stated.

“And your chocobo hairstyle,” Sephiroth teased.

“This has been too easy,” Tseng stated, “they just left her without anyone to care for her? Or protection?”

“Something I’ve also noticed,” Vincent stated from the bushes. “Hello, Tseng.”

“Director Verdot will want to see you,” Tseng stated.

“I fear he may do more than see me,” Vincent stated.

“One of yours?” Sephiroth asked.

“I retired,” Vincent stated.

“You are aware that I must inform Director Verdot of the state of your… retirement. He may retire you again,” Tseng stated, getting glances from all of the SOLDIERs.

“What are you two talking about?” Zack asked.

“The Turk retirement package is typically a full funeral service and burial,” Tseng stated.

“Have I said recently that you Turks are weird?” Zack asked in response.

“Only every time we have crossed paths,” Tseng stated before saying, “if you won’t return to Midgar with us, at least allow me to deliver a written report of your last mission for the Director. We still do not know the status of your objective.”

“It would be easier if I take you to see her yourself since Sephiroth deserves to meet her and she deserves to meet her granddaughter,” Vincent stated.

---

Sephiroth stared in awe at the figure encased in crystal. Her bangs and face told him that she was in fact his mother. 

“Sephiroth…” a feminine voice echoed from the cave.

“M…Mother?” he asked, feeling himself choking up.

“My son…” the voice responded.

He approached the figure before asking, “why are you in the crystal?”

“After the experiments and Hojo took you from me… I wanted to die… but because of the experiments… I couldn’t. So this… is a compromise,” the voice replied, sounding sad.

“Hojo’s dead. He can’t do anything to hurt us anymore,” Sephiroth said, “and I have a daughter.”

“Your daughter is beautiful… I hope… you can be a better parent than I was to you…” the voice said before saying, “please… leave… and never come back…”

“Mother?” Sephiroth asked.

“I… will only cause you pain. I have failed you enough as it is… Please move on with your life… My son…” the voice said, causing his heart to break.

His mother didn’t want to be in his life nor his daughter’s life. He left the cave before his heart could break more. 

“Sephiroth?” Cloud asked, snapping him back into reality, causing him to realize that he’d lost track of everything.

He turned his head in Cloud’s direction with a smile before saying, “I’m okay. I’ve just been having a rough time, between feeling my connection with our daughter and meeting my mother…”

“Cloud told me everything, dear,” a voice said as he realized that there were only three people at the table, four if he counted his daughter in the high chair, having been dressed in a onesie her size, “if she doesn’t want you as her son, that’s her loss and my gain.”

The woman speaking to him had Cloud’s hair and he instantly remembered that she was Cloud’s mother, Claudia. She smiled at him warmly which stirred an emotion within him, one which pushed away the rage and hatred that had been trying to get a foothold in his brain.

“What do you mean, Miss Strife?” Sephiroth asked.

“Again, I’ve told you to call me Claudia,” Claudia admonished him before saying in a gentle tone, “welcome to the Strife family, Sephiroth. You may not be my son but you may as well be. You and my granddaughter will always have a home here. Even if I don’t fully know how you and my son produced a daughter, I don’t really care. A polite young man such as you deserve a better mother than that.”

Sephiroth found himself unable to keep the tears from falling, which confused him because he didn’t feel pain or sadness. He assumed that Claudia had taken note of his reaction because he found himself in her tight embrace. Not even Cloud had known how as a child, Sephiroth had imagined that his mother was the kind that Claudia was, rather than how Lucrecia is. Claudia gently stroked his short hair and he relaxed into the feeling. Cloud even wrapped his arms around Sephiroth, fully grounding him in the feeling of being… loved?

Was this was being loved felt like?

He wanted more of this. Not only because it kept the hate and rage away, but because he enjoyed this feeling. He wanted to wrap it around himself like a blanket. 

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty

Sacrifices

Cloud woke up to his daughter screaming and Sephiroth was gone. A glance at the window as he walked past told him that it was still some time before dawn. He had to remind him that babies did this and that he just needed to see if she was hungry or needed a diaper change. He approached the crib that his mom had pulled out from storage, noticing that the cries were coming from downstairs. It was likely that either his mom or Sephiroth had grabbed his daughter and were trying to calm the baby. 

He grew concerned that his mom had the baby cradled in an arm as she prepared the formula. Where was Sephiroth? 

“Sorry it took me so long,” Cloud said before asking, “have you seen Sephiroth? He’s not in bed.”

“Not since the last time my granddaughter woke up,” his mother said with a smile, “have the two of you figured out a name for her yet?”

“We were working on it until we fell asleep,” Cloud answered with a frown.

It bothered him that Sephiroth had disappeared without warning again. He was definitely contemplating looking into a way to keep him on a literal leash at this point.

Before he could do more than contemplate tying his boyfriend up in bed, he heard a knock on the door and hoped that it was Sephiroth just being far too polite. Opening the door, his hopes were dashed when instead of seeing Sephiroth, he saw Vincent standing at his door.

“There is something peculiar about Sephiroth. I figured you would be the best person to deal with him,” Vincent stated neutrally. 

Without saying anything, he pulled on a jacket and his boots and followed Vincent as they headed towards Mt. Nibel. 

“What do you know about what you and Sephiroth are?” Vincent asked as they reached the rickety bridge.

“Well, he’s hot and a SOLDIER First Class and I’m less hot and an Infantryman,” Cloud answered.

“One of you has episodes where their scent urges the other on to have intercourse with them for hours to days on end and the other’s scent also affects the first as well, correct?” Vincent asked.

“How do you know?” Cloud asked, narrowing his eyes at Vincent as he continued to follow the ex-Turk carefully across the bridge.

“Surmise to say that I have a way of accessing knowledge that most don’t have,” Vincent answered before explaining, “there was a period of time where people nearly died out. In response, the legend goes that the Planet affected the remaining people, giving them increased fertility with those same effects to help humans flourish. Afterwards, such a gift was no longer required. It is rather odd that you and Sephiroth were given this gift and that one of you has the gift that was normally… feminine.”

Cloud wasn’t going to tell Vincent anything that Sephiroth hadn’t concerning his biology. It simply wasn’t something for him to talk about. Fortunately, Cloud just didn’t have the time for further conversation because they’d come to the reactor, whose door had been removed in one cut. He knew that Sephiroth had that kind of strength to pull it off. 

Vincent gave him a wordless nod, which he assumed meant that it was his turn to take point and stepped through the doorway. The room was lit by emergency lighting which cast everything in dim light, revealing broken and shattered mako pods intermixed with humanoid creatures sliced in half. It appeared that the humanoid creatures had been in the mako pods when both creature and pod had been sliced in twain. 

A cold chill ran down his spine as he saw a large sign hanging above a doorway that stood beyond the staircase in front of him. The sign said JENOVA.

He’d known that before meeting Vincent and subsequently Lucrecia, Sephiroth had been told that his mother’s name was Jenova. 

“What exactly is Jenova?” Cloud asked.

“A creature that nearly destroyed the Planet once,” Vincent stated, “at the time of Sephiroth’s conception, it was believed to be Cetran.”

Carefully, he climbed the steps and as he did, he got a growing glimpse of the room beyond as Sephiroth’s scent grew stronger. He tried not to gag over how absolutely foul Sephiroth’s scent had become. Which meant that Sephiroth needed him now more than ever. Sephiroth, who he could see, standing on the far end of a large pipe, staring at something.

As he stepped into the room which apparently was above the reactor itself, Sephiroth turned sharply towards him, the movement jerky and not at all smooth as was usual. Sephiroth’s hands snapped to his head as he let out a cry before he shouted.

“Cloud! Take our daughter and your mother and get as far from me as you can!” Sephiroth shouted.

“No,” Cloud stated calmly, slowly stepping towards Sephiroth, “not when I know you need me.”

“I need you to get away!” Sephiroth shouted before letting out another cry of pain before letting go of his head and slumped for a moment.

And then Sephiroth laughed. The sound was unlike how Cloud had heard Sephiroth laugh. It sounded cruel and malicious.

“He always was so rebellious…” Sephiroth said with a chuckle.

“You’re not Sephiroth,” Cloud stated.

“Not psychologically,” Sephiroth sneered.

“Let him go,” Cloud ordered.

“Or what? There’s nothing you can do that won’t hurt this body,” Sephiroth said with a smirk.

“I know he’s fighting you as hard as he can, whatever you are,” Cloud stated, “I just need to help him.”

“It’s a pointless endeavor,” Sephiroth stated before turning toward the creature in the tank near him.

The creature started to move as Sephiroth pressed buttons on the nearby control panel.

“Soon, this body will become that of a god’s,” Sephiroth stated, “that boy is far too weak minded for such a state of perfection. But that doesn’t matter.”

It was then that Cloud flinched as he heard the report of a gun echo from above him, among the pipes. The walls of the tank shattered and he saw three bullet wounds appear on the creature. There were more gunshots as the creature took more and more bullets. Sephiroth let out a shriek of rage before hurling multiple dark balls of fire. All Cloud could think of doing was take out his PHS and hope that Zack could back them up somehow.

Zack picked up on the second ring just as Vincent fired at the creature again.

“Cloud! What’s going on!”

“Come to the Reactor! Something’s gone horribly wrong!” Cloud shouted, hoping that Zack could hear.

His shouting had probably gotten the attention of whomever or whatever had taken control of Sephiroth because he found himself being run through with Masamune. He dropped his PHS as he lost feeling and control of the arm nearest where he’d been stabbed. He looked into Sephiroth’s eyes and saw the moment that Sephiroth had regained control. Sephiroth immediately cast Curaga and Regen on Cloud as he carefully removed Masamune out of Cloud’s body. Once Masamune was fully removed, Sephiroth threw the sword out of the room and into the room beyond, completely missing Cloud.

“I told you to leave,” Sephiroth said as he turned away from Cloud and seemed to be focused on the creature again.

However, his gaze was full of anger and hate as tears fell from his eyes and he lifted his hand towards the creature. Dark fireballs appeared in front of Sephiroth before hurling towards the creature, to be replaced by more dark fireballs. The creature screamed and thrashed.

“You will not stop me, boy!” the creature screamed.

“You will not be able to take control of me if that body no longer exists,” Sephiroth stated.

Between Sephiroth and Vincent, the creature was quickly torn apart. As Sephiroth delivered the final blow, the creature let out one final cry of fury, hatred, and angrish which Sephiroth added to with his own pained scream of agony and then collapsed on the grate. 

Cloud ran to Sephiroth’s body and then pulled out the bangle that held Sephiroth’s curative materia and channeled his own focus into them, casting regen and as many Curagas as he could, hoping that the creature’s death didn’t mean his mate’s boyfriend’s death.

“I refuse to lose you,” Cloud said between tears.

“Cloud! Sephiroth! What’s going on?” Zack shouted as he bolted to them.

“A creature somehow took over Sephiroth but he managed to break free and it did something to him as it died,” Cloud explained, “can you cast some Curagas on him just in case?”

“I don’t know if it’ll help. We don’t know what’s wrong with him,” Zack said quietly.

It was then that Sephiroth groaned and Cloud quickly moved him so he was laying on his back. At least Sephiroth was blinking, but his eyes seemed to be unfocused.

“I’m here, Sephiroth,” Cloud said, “just say something.”

“I’m sorry, Cloud,” Sephiroth said before looking at Zack, “please cast a curaga on him to be sure that the injuries he sustained have healed?”

Zack nodded before casting a Curaga on Cloud.

---

Tseng frowned a bit as he looked at Hollander’s report of Sephiroth’s condition following Nibelheim. Test results showed that Sephiroth had increased memory issues, periods of confusion, difficulty retaining new information, and emotional instability. Scans revealed that Sephiroth sustained damage all over his brain, rather than in one central location with pockets of damaged or destroyed cells and neural pathways. The prognosis appeared to be that Sephiroth may never be able to perform the mentally demanding portions of his position, let alone be the same again. 

At least not everything that had come from the incident in Nibelheim was bad. He smiled fondly as he remembered that he’d managed to drag Vincent back to headquarters and that meant quite the debriefing from Director Verdot. The entire Turk floor could hear Verdot’s shouting followed by the announcement that he was taking the rest of the day off while dragging Valentine along with him. He was quite certain that Verdot was going to celebrate. It was rare to see his Director in such high spirits since Kalm.

The next page was a photo that he’d obtained a copy of. It was of the now four premiere Firsts plus Cloud and the baby who’d been given the name of Celeste Strife. Celeste was clothed in a rather cute dress, which he knew had been a gift from Genesis. In a sense, the picture was a family photo and was rather cute. Everyone, even Celeste, was smiling.

He knew who to blame for what happened next.

---

Tseng had been called to Director Verdot’s office and closed the door behind him. Behind his Director’s desk and off to the side was Valentine, who had refused to wear the standard Turk uniform and appeared to be brooding. Director Verdot seemed rather upset by the kind of smile he was wearing and the slant of his eyebrows. That was the expression that told him that someone was going to wind up receiving the full Turk Retirement Package. He knew better than to wonder whom.

“The Turks have heard of troubling developments from on high,” Verdot said with that smile plastered on his face, “and people are going to die because of this.”

He understood ‘from on high’ being code for President Shinra. 

“What is my task, sir?” Tseng asked.

“You are to fly a helicopter to Junon to bring Rufus back to Headquarters and to bring him up to speed on recent events,” Verdot said with a smile.

---

Sephiroth smiled down at his daughter. He couldn’t remember whose idea it was to carry Celeste in a sling, but it was definitely the idea of a genius. He gently lifted the sling so he could place a kiss on the baby’s forehead before returning to filling out forms - this time a questionnaire from Science. He could have sworn he’d filled one out the previous day.

His PHS notified him of a message by vibrating. Those were always important. They were usually from his boyfriend. This wasn’t. Instead, this came from the President himself, requesting him to bring his daughter since he hadn’t gotten the opportunity to see her yet. That sounded rather kind of the President to want to meet Celeste. He was certain she’d win over the President. After all, he was certain that Celeste was the cutest baby on the face of the Planet.

Carefully standing up to not wake up his daughter, he made his way to his appointment with President Shinra to show off his daughter. He wondered if maybe he should make a detour to his quarters to dress Celeste up for the meeting before glancing at the message. The President had used the word immediately, so he probably should go directly there.

Once at the President’s office, the secretary waved him through. As he approached, the President stood up from the desk and chuckled. He’d expected it to be a private meeting. Instead, an old and grizzled Turk - Director Verdot, he thought - and a woman he was certain he’d never seen before, stood in the office. Verdot stood next to the President’s desk and the woman stood to the other side, seeming to be uncertain about something.

“A baby sling. How quaint,” The President said, “I never thought that a weapon such as yourself would show such… instincts. No matter. You are to relinquish the baby.”

Sephiroth frowned. The President had called him a weapon. It took him a moment to realize that this wasn’t the first time. He thought he was a person. It didn’t matter. What did was that he would not give up his daughter. 

“I refuse,” Sephiroth stated with a frown.

“Don’t be unreasonable, Sephiroth,” the President said, “what kind of life can you give a child? You were created to be a weapon. All you are trained for is combat. And the other parent of your child is merely a teenager himself. With the two of you being military men, anything could happen and your child could very easily find itself an orphan. Do you know what happens to Shinra orphans, Sephiroth? They become Turks. Is that what you want?”

“I want Celeste to be with her family and happy. To have the freedom to choose her own future,” Sephiroth stated.

“Do you truly think she could have all of that with you, Sephiroth? After all, what does a weapon know of family? You have none of that,” President Shinra said.

“You’re wrong,” Sephiroth proclaimed, “I have a family. I have Cloud, Claudia, Zack, Angeal, and Genesis.”

“You spent less than a day with the Strifes and the others are just your friends,” President Shinra said dismissively, “just hand over your child and you will not be punished for disobedience.”

“I don’t care what you do to me. You will not take Celeste from me,” Sephiroth defiantly proclaimed.

“Do you know what happens to weapons when they refuse to obey, Sephiroth?” President Shinra asked.

The door behind Sephiroth opened and he turned in time to see Infantrymen enter, raising their rifles at him. Once he saw that, he moved to protect Celeste, putting the Infantrymen at his back. He saw only one way out of this situation. 

Pulling out Masamune, he charged at the President as he heard the Infantrymen open fire at him. He saw the President pull out a golden pistol and moved Masamune to bat the bullet away before the odachi pierced the President’s body and he felt lots of not-bullets hit him in the back, piercing the blazer and button-up shirt he was wearing.

Blood dripped from the corner of the President’s mouth.

“You will not take Celeste from me,” he commanded as his vision wavered.

His body felt heavy as he let go of Masamune and took a step back before he stumbled. As he fell, he moved his body to fall in a way that would keep Celeste from being harmed. Once he fell to the ground, all he knew was darkness.

---

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty-One

Resolution

Tseng had been enroute back to Midgar with Rufus when the announcement had come over the radio in code - President Shinra had been killed and the killer was swiftly apprehended pending the new President Shinra’s decision. He wasn’t surprised that his Director had seen the event coming and had made the preparations to transfer control of the company to the younger Shinra quickly and smoothly. 

“I see,” Rufus responded coolly as he was brought up on the most recent events, which wasn’t much.

After all, Rufus had been kept up to date partially due to his contacts within the Turks as well as his own information network. 

Rufus responded to the coded transmission in code, stating that he expected a full report on the incident in question before he made any decisions regarding anyone’s fate. Tseng was aware that the killer had done Rufus a service and if the individual in question could still be of use, it was better to keep them around given that loyalty could be guaranteed.

---

Sephiroth awoke in an empty room that was lit by a single recessed light. He instantly checked for the baby sling, seeing that it was gone. Celeste was gone. Was she taken away from him? He knew that she was alive and happy by the sense he was receiving from her. At least she was unharmed. He stood up and started to pace, uncertain of her future. Would she be returned to him? Where exactly was she? He didn’t even care about his own circumstances as long as she was returned to him.

---

Tseng stood alongside Rufus as Director Verdot explained the whole situation. It was clear to him that his Director was aware of the former President’s plan to remove Celeste Strife from Sephiroth’s custody and even he knew that in such a situation, Sephiroth was highly likely to become violent. Especially when he took Sephiroth’s recent past into account. 

“Do you believe he could be reasoned with, Director?” Rufus asked.

“Absolutely,” Verdot answered, “he was clearly pushed to violence by your late father’s insistence in relieving Sephiroth of his child.”

“I would like an interview with him in one of your rooms,” Rufus said with a smile, “let us see if we can resolve everything with minimal loss. Bring both Strifes to the meeting, Verdot. And Tseng, I want you to provide a full report for posterity’s sake. I want a paper trail so that if any promises are made on my part, I not only have a written record of my promises, but that my promises are appropriate.”

---

Sephiroth had been escorted to a room and was ordered to sit down. He’d asked the Turk - Vincent, he remembered after a few minutes - about Celeste. According to him, Celeste was with Cloud and he was instantly relieved. That meant he might not have lost Celeste after all. After a few moments, Cloud entered the room, holding Celeste and he immediately rushed over and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and daughter. 

“What’s this that I’ve heard that you killed the President, Seph?” Cloud asked immediately.

“He was taking Celeste from us. He said that we wouldn’t be good parents since I was a weapon and you’re still a teenager,” Sephiroth explained, “he had people attack me to get to her. I had to, Cloud.”

“You do know that you could be killed over this,” Cloud said quietly, “and I’d be alone with Celeste.”

“Would you rather I hand over Celeste and potentially any future children of ours?” Sephiroth asked.

“It is quite a difficult dilemma, isn’t it?” a blonde man asked, stepping into the room, “give up your children or fight to keep them with the only resolution being a battle to the death.”

“I do not believe we’ve met,” Sephiroth stated.

“I’m the new President, Rufus Shinra. I’m aware that your brain has been thoroughly scrambled so it’s forgiven if you don’t remember my name,” the man said with a smile.

“Please don’t take Sephiroth from me, President Shinra,” Cloud pleaded quietly.

“Why would I? I doubt my life is in danger from Sephiroth here as I have no desire to take away any of your children. In fact, starting tomorrow, the two of you will be on full parental leave for the next twelve months with paid travel expenses. If you wish, Infantryman Strife, due to Sephiroth’s condition, if you desire to change positions and become his administrative assistant, I will allow it as well as adjusting your pay as soon as you decide to change your position. That way, you can assist Sephiroth since he likely requires the assistance with such tasks. Furthermore, since Lazard’s partnership with Hollander has become known, I can not trust him and he will be removed as Director of SOLDIER, a position I believe you would be up to the challenge upon your return.”

“Not that I want to give the impression of looking a gift Chocobo down its throat, but why?” Cloud asked.

“Sephiroth is naturally next in line for the position. Due to his current state, he requires an administrative assistant. I also believe that while his focus and mental capacity is lessened, he would still do better in the position due to his experience in the field compared to someone who was nothing but a bureaucrat. With the proper support, he may even thrive in the new position. For the time being, SOLDIER First Class Angeal Hewley will be acting Director during your leave.”

“I mean…” Cloud started before he stopped speaking because Rufus had raised a hand to cut him off.

“Sephiroth is a great asset to this company and we would not be in this position if not for what he had accomplished in the field. I also believe that due to his distinguished career and what he had been forced to suffer during my father’s time, Shinra owes the two of you tremendously. I intend to do what I can to make things even between us. I will never interfere with your family as my father attempted. During your parental leave, if the two of you decide to leave Shinra, you will receive the rest of the year’s pay as well as a shared retirement fund.”

“We… will have a lot to think about, sir,” Cloud said as Sephiroth gave a nod in agreement.

Sephiroth knew that he could have spoken at any time but knew that Cloud could handle this easier than he could. He was just relieved that he’d have his family.

“Sir, there’s a monster attacking Midgar from above!” a voice said coming from a speaker in the room, “it appears to be Zirconaide!”

Sephiroth got up, figuring that he’d be tasked to deal with the monster but Rufus shook his head.

“Zirconaide is a Turk matter. Go pack for your shared parental leave,” Rufus said with a smile.

---

Sephiroth allowed Cloud to be in charge of planning in regards to their parental leave. This meant that they wound up back in Nibelheim again. Sephiroth didn’t mind the hostility of the villagers because Claudia was worth it.

He got a message from Genesis who informed him that the most recent treatment Hollander had given him got his shoulder to start healing and that he was feeling better. Sephiroth smiled as he saw the next message from Genesis, which was all complaining about having to dye his hair.

“Maybe we should all move out of Nibelheim and to one of the other villages?” Cloud asked one night over dinner.

“Maybe you can move to Midgar?” Sephiroth offered, “with Cloud and I having work, it would be a relief knowing that we have you to take care of Celeste during the day.”

And so, Sephiroth discovered that all that he and Cloud needed to do to convince Claudia to move with them was to give her the promise of being able to take care of her granddaughter.

Then came Yule and Sephiroth had already figured out what he would give Cloud. Apparently, it was a tradition in the Strife household that on the night before, everyone was able to unwrap one gift. 

“Cloud, will you please open the one from me tonight?” Sephiroth asked.

“Only if you’ll open the one from me,” Cloud responded with a grin.

It didn’t pass Sephiroth’s notice that the gift from Cloud was the same size and weight as the one he’d got Cloud. He merely smiled and turned to watch Cloud unwrap his gift and found that Cloud had the same idea.

“What are you waiting for?” Cloud asked.

“For you to open your gift,” Sephiroth responded with a smile.

“After you,” Cloud replied with a smile.

“No, I insist,” Sephiroth said.

“No, no. I insist,” Cloud insisted.

“Stormcloud honey, you’re the youngest so I think you should go first,” Claudia said, ending the argument.

He heard Cloud gasp as he opened the small box before howling in laughter. That was definitely not the reaction he’d been expecting. Curiously, he opened the small box and saw that it held a thick gold band that was inlaid with a single green gem. Oh. On the lid was a note: ‘please marry me.’

Oh.

“I love you, Seph,” Cloud said, moving to cuddle him.

“And I love you too, Cloud,” he responded, wrapping his arms around Cloud.

“So will you?” Cloud asked, motioning to the box the ring was in.

“Only if you will,” Sephiroth responded, motioning to the box he knew held a similar band that was inlaid with a sapphire.

---

Sephiroth didn’t know what was wrong when he smelled something that he’d been told was an old family recipe for cranberry sauce but it smelled utterly foul and made him rush to the bathroom, unable to keep in the bile. It didn’t help that he’d felt nauseous all day.

And then it dawned on him.

He groaned as he hit his forehead. 

He’d forgotten to pack the birth control.

---