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Just Go Kill Palpatine

Summary:

In Which Obi-Wan Kenobi is Shown Holofootage of His 12-Year Old Padawan in a Seedy Nightclub With The Chancellor of the Republic And Has A Proportionate Response.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Deciding to Kill Palpatine (In Which Obi-Wan Kenobi Realizes He Has A Laser Sword and Palpatine Is a Frail Old Man)

Chapter Text

There was a soft knock at the door.

Obi-Wan? Are you in there? I—I need to talk to you.” 

Obi-Wan sighed at the sound of Quinlan Vos’s voice through the entryway. Well, there goes my quiet afternoon.

Setting the half-filled hydroheater down with a petty amount of force, he reluctantly exited the kitchen, opening the door even as he mourned the pot of tea he had been intending to share the next several hours with.

“Vos,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. “I’ve got a lot on plate and I’m not in the mood for your nonsense, understood?”

Quinlan looked back somberly. Obi-Wan’s smirk slowly faltered.

“Can I come in? There’s something important I need to talk to you about.” The Kiffar’s usually boisterous attitude was missing; subdued words invoked a silent nod of agreement as well as a chill down the spine. Quinlan slipped inside, continuing to the common area to take a quiet seat on the couch. Obi-Wan settled next to him nervously, thoughts of tea slipping away.

“Vos, you’re starting to worry me—is something the matter?”

Quinlan’s expression twisted. He scrubbed his face with one gloved hand, inhaling sharply before slowly exhaling with a shudder. 

“Yes. I have some—really horrible news that’s going to freak you out but I have to tell you. I want you know you’re not going to have to go through this alone and it’s not your fault, ok? I know you’re going to blame yourself but it’s not your fault.”

Obi-Wan stood, heart in his throat. “Of Force—did something happen to Anakin? Is he—where’s Anakin?”

“Anakin’s with Aayla—he’s fine—he’s in the temple and he’s perfectly safe right now—”

“Right now?!” Obi-Wan paled further.

Please sit down, Obi-Wan. I’m going to tell you everything but the important thing is that Anakin is safe, okay? It’s going to be alright but you need to stay calm.”

Obi-Wan collapsed on to the couch, closing his eyes. “If you’re trying to keep me calm you’re doing a very bad job of it Quinlan.”

“I know,” Quinlan responded guiltily. “I’m not good at this. I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan meditated for a moment, laboriously seeking out and letting go of his mixed dread and alarm, before opening his eyes again to refocus on Vos.

“Quinlan,” he said sharply. “Tell me what’s going on.”

The visiting knight nodded and pulled out a datachip from his robe, placing it gently on the table. 

(Listen) the force whispered, straining for someone to hear and Obi-Wan did, leaning in intently.

“You know I work with the Coruscanti spy networks, right?”

Obi-Wan nodded impatiently. 

“Well, we have a long standing agreement that if a, uh, rogue padawan is spotted on the lower levels, they bring it to me—well Tholme before, but me now—and I quietly take care of it before it become a whole Jedi Council incident. No one wants a dead Jedi kid on their doorstep, you know?”

Obi-Wan groaned, falling backwards. 

“I promise, whatever you think it is, it’s probably not that, so uh, just hold on before you say anything,” Quinlan added quickly.

“I can think of a lot of things,” Obi-Wan muttered. “Pod racing, slave freeing, droid bartering, street fighting, pick pocketing, any of those close? Some combination of the above? Just tell me when. I could’ve sworn I had finally gotten a grasp on his movements…” 

Quinlan cringed. “Two nights ago. And none of those, please stop guessing.”

“Two nights—” Obi-Wan froze, then protested indignantly. “He told me he was with the Chancellor! Unbelievable!”

“He was,” Quinlan confirmed quietly.

A beat passed and Obi-Wan stared at his friend in blank confusion. “I don’t understand—I thought he was in the lower levels, wasn’t that—”

“He was,” Quinlan added in a low voice. 

“He was…with the Chancellor?” Obi-Wan repeated slowly. Vos nodded once in confirmation. “They were both in the lower levels? Together?” Vos nodded twice.

Drops of cold sweat started to prickle at the back of Obi-Wan’s neck. 

“Doing…charity work?” Obi-Wan asked weakly. Vos shook his head, then picked up the datachip, plugging it into to a small mobile datapad. 

They watched as smoky cantina security footage resolved. Obi-Wan squinted but eventually his eyes caught on two hooded figures seated at a table. (Not right) the force seemed to say. He couldn't hear the two over the buzz of the crowd, but after a moment the smaller figure shifted enough to reveal his twelve-year-old padawan’s face, smiling nervously in the way he did when he was overwhelmed by a situation and didn’t want to admit it. 

Obi-Wan watched the scene play out, white-knuckled grip around the datapad tensing more every second. Drinks were brought to the table and Obi-Wan trembled with fear and eventual relief as Anakin didn’t touch a drop, despite the various gestures the taller man made with his own cup. 

After several minutes, the taller man leaned over, mouth far too close to his padawan’s ear. Anakin flinched back slightly. It was just enough for Obi-Wan to catch a glimpse of a distinctive long forehead and cleft chin before the old man retreated to the shadow of his robes. A few things in the apartment started rattling, but Obi-Wan ignored them. Anakin started talking with hands, obviously relaxing. The force swirled ominously in warning.

After several moments a fight broke out at a nearby gambling table. Even with the poor audio, Obi-Wan could hear the grating sound of Palpatine’s laughter, overly uproarious. He clenched his jaw in fury as Palpatine used the excuse to press a hand to Anakin’s shoulder.

(Wrong) came a warning, stronger than most. (This is wrong). 

His padawan chuckled along at the joke, barely seeming to notice the touch. 

After a moment, two of the losers from the table brawl stalked over and grabbed Palpatine by the front of his robe. For a moment, Obi-Wan grinned in a decidedly un-Jedi manner at the thought of the man’s face getting caved in. But Anakin, of course, stood up in the bastard’s defense, hand moving protectively to the Chancellor’s arm. Palpatine took the opportunity to press an arm against his padawan, ostensibly holding him back from a brawl. It was a move that Obi-Wan himself had practiced to keep the kid from throwing himself into trouble. The knight saw red at the realization that this pervert was using it, obviously as an excuse for contact, likely in a fight he had instigated, and certainly in a dangerous setting that he had willfully brought them to. 

(Evil) the force agreed.

Some inaudible exchange of words occurred between the adults and the hulking figure retreated. Palpatine dusted off his robes and exited the booth, Anakin far too close his heels, no doubt feeling protective, and Palpatine no doubt being aware of that. Palpatine rested a hand gently on Anakin’s back as they exited frame, and the vid quickly cut-off after that. 

Obi-Wan took in a shuddering breath of air and everything that had been unknowingly hovering in the apartment came crashing down. He tilted forward, feeling light-headed, but Quinlan caught him before he could fall too far, pulling him in for a tight one sided hug.

“Of force—oh kriffing gods—I didn’t know,” Obi-Wan choked out. 

“I know, you couldn’t have—”

“I SHOULD HAVE,” Obi-Wan shouted in Quinlan’s face before sagging. “I should have,” he repeated in a broken whisper. 

“I’m his Master,” Obi-Wan continued hoarsely. “He’s my padawan, I’m supposed to protect him.”

“I’ve dealt with men like Palpatine before,” Quinlan retorted bitterly. “Men in power. They’re in power because they’re good at hiding this stuff, expert manipulators. I dug into Palpatine’s background and there’s nothing. Not even the normal bones you find in every politician's closet. He’s practiced at controlling people, controlling his image, it’s his fault, not yours.”

Obi-Wan pushed the other knight away, standing up to pace in long strides back and forth across the apartment. After a minute of this, he spoke. “I’m going to kill him. I’m serious Vos, I’m going to kill the Chancellor of the Republic.”

(Yes!

Quinlan nodded slowly, “Yeah, that’s probably the best option.”

Obi-Wan faltered in his stride, stopping in place to narrow his eyes at the kiffar Jedi. “Shouldn’t you be trying to talk me out of this?” he asked suspiciously.

Vos groaned, running his hands through his hair, before speaking in a strained but steady calm. “Even if he hadn’t done a scarily effective job consolidating political power and gaining control over the courts the last few years, we don’t have enough proof to put him on trial. This isn’t the highest quality footage- a half decent lawyer would be able to claim it’s doctored- It’s not- but there’s no way it’s good enough for court. The person who gave it to me wouldn’t back up its legitimacy; I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have even handed it over it they had realized it was the Chancellor of the Republic. It’s going to be the Jedi against the Senate in the court of public opinion and even if the Jedi somehow win, Palpatine’s not going to lose and Anakin’s not going to come out of this unscathed.”

Obi-Wan collapsed against a wall, taking over Quinlan’s grim recitation of facts with a softly agonized voice, “Even if the footage was admitted, there’s nothing…explicit about it. There’s no good explanation for why they were there, why he bought him a drink, why he was—” Obi-Wan choked on the word ‘touching’ before soldiering on, “but there’s technically nothing that’s a violent crime.”

(No good)

Knight Kenobi shuddered, then resumed his pacing, continuing to speak. “And he’s probably done this before. He’ll probably do it again. Even if I grab Anakin and take him to the furthest reaches of the galaxy- which I’m very tempted to do- it doesn’t stop him from- from grooming his next victim. He’s too powerful—he already threw his political weight around to get time alone with my twelve year-old padawan and Force, why—

Vos cut him off before he could spiral to far into self loathing. “You’ve got to kill the Chancellor of the Republic,” he agreed. “Do you want my help?”

Obi-Wan stopped, then returned to the couch, smiling gently. “That—actually means a lot, thank you Quinlan, but no.”

“I’m serious,” Quinlan offered intensely. “I can’t talk about shadow work but it wouldn’t be the first political assassination I’ve done.”

Obi-Wan shook his head, “No. There’s going to be an investigation—It’s just not worth the effort to make it look like an accident. He’s too high profile. And I can’t risk you also getting caught, not when you’ve got your own padawan to think about, and I don’t want people thinking this is a Jedi coup d'etat—” 

Knight Kenobi stopped mid-sentence, letting out an inappropriate snort at the absurdity of the sentence. “Oh force,” he gasped. “I’m planning the logistics of assassinating the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.”

He started giggling hysterically. Quinlan started to reach a hand out towards him before thinking better of it, and instead began casually righting some of the clutter and trinkets that had fallen over and about, trying to give the overwhelmed man a little space to breakdown. A minute or two passed and the giggles gradually petered out.

Finally, Obi-Wan rubbed a hand over his face, scratching furiously at his newly grown beard. “You’ll take care of Anakin for me?” he asked seriously.

Quinlan returned to the couch quickly, staring Obi-Wan directly in the eyes and radiating promise in the force. “With my life. I’ll make sure he gets the help he needs. It’s…possible he won’t want to stay in the order, but I’ll make sure if he does want that, he’ll find a Master. And if he doesn’t, I’ll see to it that he’s well cared for."

Obi-Wan blinked away tears. “Right. Alright. Well,” he slapped his hands to his lap then stood up. “I’m off then.”

Vos reared back in alarm. “Uh—right now? Are you sure?”

The soon-to-be-political-assassin nodded decisively. “If I wait too long I’ll lose my nerve,” he admitted. “And if I have to see the two of them in the same place in person I swear by the stars I’m going to fall, I’ll fall right then and there.”

Quinlan Vos cringed, then bowed his head in acknowledgment. “Wait—at least take some credits—I assume you’re going to go on the run immediately after, right?” 

Obi-Wan sighed. “You’re probably right, ugh. Give me a tic.” Quinlan continued his tidying of apartment, suppressing a flinch at the occasional flashes of grief and joy palpable even through gloves as he returned the apartment to the order he remembered from when Qui-Gon was alive.

There were some odd grunting and clanging noises from Obi-Wan’s room which Quinlan generously decided not to barge in on

A teapot had fallen off the edge of a counter, carefully packed leaves spilling out of its basket. Quinlan winced at a new chip as he picked it up, before pushing it to the back of a cabinet, hoping Obi-Wan wouldn't notice.

Eventually the clanging stopped and the man of the hour exited his room, striding heavily.

Quinlan’s jaw dropped. “Uh, that’s what you’re wearing? Are you sure it’s not…overkill?” 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, acting as though Quinlan was the absurd one for being surprised that Obi-Wan Kenobi was wearing Beskar Armor to kill an elderly pedophile. 

“Well, I’m going to need to be able to support myself after all this, aren’t I? Bounty hunter is the traditional fall-back career for fallen Jedi,” Obi-Wan explained wryly. “And honestly, this is probably the first thing I’ll be doing in the armor since I, uh, acquired it that a Mandalorian would actually approve of.”

“How’s that?” the Kiffar asked weakly as Obi-Wan carefully wrapped his robe to conceal the dented red armor underneath. 

Obi-Wan paused. “Well…protecting foundlings, protecting adiik and aliit is the way. Children and family.” He hesitated, strapping a small blaster that he apparently just had already to his inner thigh before fussing with his tunic so the weapon was completely concealed. “Would you…would you tell Anakin I said that? That…I love him, and he’s my family, and I would do anything to protect him.”

Obi-Wan flushed, staring at the helmet for a moment before gently placing it on the table.

“Yeah,” Quinlan responded softly. “I can tell him that.” 

Obi-Wan shuffled awkwardly. “You should probably leave first. I assume that the cover story is going to be you told me before the council, and I said i needed to meditate.”

Quinlan grinned, giving Obi-Wan a leering up-and-done that made the well-armed Jedi knight roll his eyes and scoff. 

“Yes,” Quinlan drawled. “The last I saw you, you were meditating quietly. No idea where you might be heading next, not even if your padawan wants to contact you.” He raised a brow. 

Knight Kenobi looked off to the side.

“Tatooine,” he offered quietly. “If I’m not going to be a Jedi, not going to be…Anakin’s master, I can at least free his mother. I owe her that much considering—” 

Quinlan cut him off, feeling suddenly and selfishly desperate to stop Obi-Wan from walking away“Obi-Wan—I’m serious—you don’t have to do this. We can tell the council; we can keep Anakin from him.”

Obi-Wan shook his head sadly. “I wish that were true but the council’s hands are tied in so many ways. I can’t let Anakin be a victim of politics. Not anymore then he already has. And besides—” he sighed, running a hand through his hair.  A red gauntlet was revealed as the sleeve fell back, and Obi-Wan quickly dropped his arm to conceal it. He cleared his throat.

“Besides—this feels right. I don’t know why but the moment I said—the moment I said I was going to kill him the force rang like a bell. I’m supposed to do this.” 

(Must be done) it said somberly

The other Jedi dipped his head, “I felt it too, I feel it now,” he agreed quietly. “Once you put it out there—I’ve never known a man who the force wanted dead this badly. It’s…it’s a little terrifying.”

Obi-Wan exhaled slowly. “Quinlan—you need to go. I can’t be seen leaving until you’re out, not if you’re going to have your alibi.”

Quinlan darted forward, pressing a passionate kiss to Obi-Wan’s mouth, jumping back before the swirling feelings of anguish and resolve could overwhelm him. “Something to remember me by,” he teased lightly. The auburn haired man rolled his eyes in response.

Quinlan Vos left, taking the datachip and pad with him. Obi-Wan meditated for a few minutes. All he could hear was the force agreeing him, urging him to stop Palpatine (stop the monster.) by any means necessary. Obi-Wan smiled viciously. He probably would have done this anyway, would have done anything to protect Anakin but it was comforting to know that the universe also wanted the predator(dead)

Obi-Wan walked out of the temple and proceeded slowly and confidently towards the Senate. And despite the warning the force was giving him that (it might be the last time you see the temple), he felt no regrets.

Chapter 2: Arriving at the Office (In Which I Find it Necessary, For Plot Reasons, To Make it Clear That Obi-Wan Did Not Abuse His Jedi Abilities or Status to Get Access to the Chancellor)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“And you’re here to see the Chancellor for…?” The secretary scrutinized Obi-Wan; he smiled back serenely. 

“Jedi reasons?” she asked, uncertain.

“No,” he corrected her softly. “Personal reasons. About my padawan, Anakin Skywalker. Could you tell him I have some concerns I’d like to voice privately?” 

Briigetha tapped that into the sleek desktop terminal, looking doubtful. “Alright, he should receive a message but I make no promises on his availability on such short notice. I’m not entirely sure how you made it this far without an appointment but…”

Obi-Wan smiled winningly.

“…I’m sure it’s fine,” she concluded. “Would you—would you care to take a seat? Or perhaps I can answer a question you might have?”

“Well,” he hesitated, leaning forward to rest one arm gently on the desk, voice dropping to a low conspiratorial whisper. “I don’t want to put you out, Briigetha, but I was hoping to be in and out of here, if it all possible. I’m more than happy to take my time, of course! Especially on personal matters! But would it possible for you to check if he’s currently with anyone? I hate to be a bother—”

“You’re not a bother!” she reassured him quickly. The Jedi flashed her a wide grin, corners of his eyes crinkling. 

The secretary cleared her throat, looking down at the data terminal before her. “I’m not supposed to just hand out schedule information like that, I’m sorry. It’s a security concern.”

The Knight’s eyes widened, looking startlingly blue. He continued in that low, earnest voice, dropping his other arm to the desk to lean in. “Oh, you have nothing to apologize for, my dear! If anything I should be working to make it up to you. The last thing I would want to do is put you in an… uncomfortable position. I can go take a seat if you prefer I leave you in peace—”

“No!” Briigetha interrupted quickly. “Like I said, you’re not a bother. And you haven’t, ah, put me in an uncomfortable position—” 

The wide doors to the Chancellor’s Office clicked open to her left, and she jerked back suddenly, flushing sapphire at the realization of how unprofessionally far forward she had been leaning.

Obi-Wan stood more slowly, smoothly pushing himself up from his half sprawl over the desk to a placid upright position, hands clasped together and hidden neatly in his sleeves.

The Chancellor walked towards Obi-Wan with arms spread wide, greeting him with jovial good nature. “Master Kenobi, my dear boy, how are you?” 

Obi-Wan gave a stereotypical Jedi-neutral non-smile, not otherwise shifting to greet the statesman. Palpatine’s arms fell awkwardly to his side.

“As well as can be expected,” the Jedi answered calmly. “If you have time, I was hoping to speak with you regarding your activities with my young padawan a few nights ago? He’s been very vague.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Palpatine waved his arms, smiling genially. “Why don’t you step inside my office?” Obi-Wan dipped his slightly head in acknowledgment, gliding towards the grand office doors before standing politely to the side to allow the Chancellor to enter first. 

Palpatine turned to the secretary’s desk. “Brigeta, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I don’t have any more appointments and I’m sure I’ll be perfectly safe with our Master Jedi here.” 

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” she rushed to assure the Chancellor. 

“It is, you work too hard! Head home at once, that’s an order!” Palpatine insisted, giving her a warm, grandfatherly smile.

“…Thank you, Supreme Chancellor.” She gave a low bow and began reluctantly packing up her desk. Palpatine nodded, smile never fading, then turned around and walked into his office. Obi-Wan shot her a wink and a two fingered salute goodbye before closing the doors behind them. She waved in reply but wasn’t sure if the Jedi caught the movement.

I’d hate for him to think I didn’t say goodbye on purpose; that would be rude. Maybe I’ll wait down in the lobby for a little bit, just in case he finishes his meeting early and happens to pass through. Just to be polite.

Notes:

there might be a lot of secretaries...and guards...and aids...and a senator...going through something.
(he's got hot single dad armed for murder energy but it's hidden beneath a softboy robe so people are going through some stuff ok?)
(he didn't want to make it seem like a Jedi thing! It's not a Jedi thing! No Jedi powers, alright?)
(...alright he mindtricked ONE asexual lesbian Wookie but that's it, I swear.)

Chapter 3: YES TIME TO KILL PALPATINE (In Which Obi-Wan Discovers That This Will Be More Difficult Than Previously Anticipated)

Chapter Text

“Would you care to have a seat, Master Kenobi?” Palpatine asked politely as the door snapped closed, kind facade seamless from his smile to the bowl of hard candy on his desk.

Obi-Wan's blood boiled for a moment before he released the anger to the Force's eager embrace; Chancellor Palpatine watched him curiously. His rage existed but it did not control him—

Jedi Knight Kenobi was here because he made a choice.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Obi-Wan replied out loud, pulling a blaster and aiming it at the Chancellor's head before he could overthink it.

The elderly statesman’s eyes widened in shock.

“Master Kenobi! What is the meaning of this?!" he stuttered while tripping backwards. "Surely you can’t—”

“You’ll find that I can,” Obi-Wan snapped. He took a deep breath to steady himself once more. “Did you really think you’d go undiscovered forever? That your position would protect you from your crimes?”

“You’re a Jedi,” Palpatine pleaded. “You can’t kill an unarmed man! Why—”

“If I was a good Jedi—” Obi-Wan interrupted calmly, flicking the safety. “—I never would have left you alone with my padawan.” He pulled the trigger, seeing no need to give into the darker impulse to draw out the old man’s end.

Palpatine dodged the blaster bolt with ease, blurring to the side with unnatural speed. Obi-Wan reflexively squeezed off several more shots before registering that the man really should not be able to do that.

“You—" Obi-Wan started to stammer out, but before he could finish the thought, he found himself slammed against a wall with extraordinary force, clammy chill of the dark side pinning him by his throat.

“Unbelievable,” Palpatine snarled, eyes gleaming a sickly yellow. “You truly were so arrogant that you thought to face me alone? With a blaster? Of all things? Did you think it would spare the Order the political fallout, because I assure you I’m far more capable of manipulating the herd then you, and, as they say, the victors write the history.”

The Knight struggled for breath, scrambling fruitlessly at his throat for a hand that wasn’t there before gathering his wits enough to push back with the Force, finding a warm breath of light to resist the sudden overwhelming cold. 

Slugishly, Obi-Wan's mind put the pieces together. “You’re—you're a Sith!” he gasped out, immediately feeling foolish—the air hung heavy with a viscous and biting evil, unmistakable even after a thousand years, let alone three.

Palpatine stared at him in disgust and dismay. “Did you think me a simple darksider? You truly are an unlucky fool. How...disappointing." The Sith's face twisted, genial smile discarded carelessly. "Now, tell me who else you’ve confided in about your plan and I’ll grant you a quick death.”

Head still swimming slightly from lack of air, Obi-Wan drew his saber from his belt on instinct, holding it before him defensively. 

The Chancellor sneered. “I’ll ask again—” A powerful surge of lightning shoved Obi-Wan back to the wall, staggering even as his saber deflected the worst of the energy. Sparks flowed dangerously around the white-hot cracking blade, singeing flesh and finding gaps in his armor to jolt and sting. 

“—Who have you told about me?”

The Jedi growled in rebellion, squaring his shoulders and drawing on the absolute necessity of protecting Anakin to muster the will to push forward into the onslaught. As he approached the Sith, dark lightning began grounding itself closer to the source.

The scent of burning flesh doubled.

Palpatine was forced to cut-off the attack, breaking off the lightning even as he kicked at the young Knight with incredible speed. Obi-Wan dodged deftly, slicing at the Sith’s neck. Palpatine ducked, summoning his ornate desk to hurl Obi-Wan towards the large transparisteel wall. 

Even through the beskar-alloy chestplate, Obi-Wan could feel the impact as wood splintered around him, not to mention the hard crash of his skull against the clear viewport.

He sliced down with his saber to free himself of the rest of the debris, hysterically wondering if anyone could see in through the window. Likely not, that would be a clear security flaw, not to mention a privacy issue. 

Before he could complete that train of thought, feeling through a haze that there was something important about the window, Palpatine was on him with a furious Juyo attack, twin scarlet sabers appearing suddenly and pushing Obi-Wan to the very edge of his skill. This at least he was trained for, having drilled his already above-average swordsmanship obsessively since Naboo to ensure that he would never again find himself at the disadvantage in a duel with a darksider.

Palpatine seemed to realize that despite his terrifying speed and lethal strength, he had inadvertently given Obi-Wan the advantage. Even as Palpatine advanced, driving Obi-Wan in circles around the increasingly destroyed office, the knight managed to slip past the Sith Lord's guard to land a few stinging cuts, without once dropping his own impenetrable defense. 

The Sith recalculated and disengaged, flipping backwards. With a flick of his wrist, the elderly politician sent a barrage of miscellaneous objects flying with deadly force. Obi-Wan deflected the massive spherical chair with a concentrated wave of one hand, absently hearing it impact the window with a sickening crash.

Various paperweights, ceremonial gifts, and exotic sweets were mostly blocked with a few deft spins of his blade. A few impacted with the shocking strength of a slugthrower; fortunately his armor absorbed most of the damage. He rocked backwards but managed to catch Palpatine’s sabers easily enough, allowing the Sith to push him back, retreating inch by inch towards the window. 

The yellow gleam in Palpatine’s eyes had overtaken whatever else used to be there. That, combined with the red-lit feral grin on the usually grandfatherly face rendered the Chancellor practically unrecognizable.

“You will never lay a hand on Anakin again,” Obi-Wan spat out.

The Chancellor's grin grew wider and his blows more intense, Dark Side curling around them both as Obi-Wan’s bones seemed to rattle under the onslaught.

“Your precious Chosen One will be my apprentice,” the Sith crowed in a chilling voice. 

Obi-Wan blinked, not faltering in his defense. “Is that all you’ve wanted him for then?” he asked, tone suddenly tinged with (admittedly inappropriate) relief.

Palpatine jumped, flipping backwards over a suddenly hurtling light fixture, which slammed Obi-Wan into the window with enough force to break bone. Indeed, Obi-Wan was fairly certain the move had cracked at least one rib, armor only doing so much against the jarring crash. 

Before Obi-Wan could free his arm and raise his saber in defense, another bolt of lighting surged toward him. He couldn’t keep himself from screaming as his body writhed in agony, limbs spasming and saber falling from his grip. His left arm slammed involuntarily against the window and Obi-Wan could feel the impact reverberate through his whole body.

Out of the corner of his greying vision he saw hairline cracks in the reinforced transparisteel. Obi-Wan deliberately slammed the beskar gauntlet once more against the window, privacy treating muffling the sound of the blow even as the spiderweb fractures increased.

Obi-Wan slammed the window twice more before the lightning ceased. As soon as it stopped he bent over involuntarily, gasping for breath. The dark side grasped his wrists, stretching tired arms and pinning him half eaglespread against the cold wall.

A cruel hand grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head upwards. An icepick was hammering at his mind; Obi-Wan struggled to tighten his metal barriers against the piercing attack. He stared defiantly at the Sith, kicking backwards with one leg, Beskar enforced boot hitting the wall with satisfying strength. 

“Thrash all you want,” Palpatine crowed. “I promise it only makes this more...enjoyable for me. Now, who knows you came here and what did you mean is that 'all I wanted him for?' Did you have no idea? Did the Kamonians contact you about my plans? Gunray? Is that how you came to bumble your way into this ill-conceived assassination attempt?”

The icepick chipped further at his mind.

Obi-Wan kicked back again, heel impacting with force only Mandalorian Armor can lend to a blow.

“What was I supposed to think, when you say things like thrash all you want?” Obi-Wan quipped. “I might not have thought you were a Sith Lord but taking a 12 year old to a seedy nightclub doesn’t exactly have an innocent explanation.

Palpatine froze for a moment, before yanking at the Knight’s scalp again and howling with demented laughter.

“You came here expecting to murder a defenseless...elderly...child predator,” he cackled before sobering abruptly, expression growing enraged and dark energy lashing out like icy whips, breaking the floor beneath them. Obi-Wan felt a fatal crack shudder through the transparisteel behind his back.

Palpatine’s right hand dropped suddenly, nails digging into Obi-Wan’s skull and drawing blood. His thumb crept dangerously close to the Jedi’s left eye and then began pressing in. Obi-Wan flinched in the durasteel grip, but the sharp intrusion didn’t relent.

“You infuriating idiot,” the Sith hissed. “You’ve threatened all my plans, decades of scheming. You ignorantly and vainly defied, me, Darth Sidious, because you were trying to protect Skywalker from sexual deviancy.”

Obi-Wan tried to spit in the monster’s face but his throat was closing up. It was nearly impossible to think past the white-hot waves of pain radiating from his eye and digging into his brain, but Palpatine’s continued monologue provided what he needed to focus—

Just for the aggravation you’ve cost me, I’m sure I can find a buyer somewhere to make your fears come true; the boy would doubtlessly be extremely vulnerable after your tragic death protecting me from an unknown dark Jedi.”

Obi-Wan screamed past his bruised neck in bloody defiance, pulling on carefully marshaled reserves of energy to free his hands, grabbing Palpatine by the throat and kicking back in the same movement.

The window shattered, and Obi-Wan dragged the Sith backwards as they tumbled down alongside a waterfall of crystalline shards.

Sidious shrieked in rage, still clinging to the Jedi. Obi-Wan struck-out half blind, meeting the Chancellor face with a rewarding crunch of snapped bone. The Sith let go, wind carrying the blood away from both their faces as they free fell. The shattering of transparisteel had similarly broken the Sith Lord’s concentration, and without the constant press of the Dark, Obi-Wan found himself able to think once more.

He concentrated fiercely, reaching out with the Force to guide his fall to a passing speeder, landing on its roof with a breath-jarring impact and managing to cling on as it swerved in alarm. He deftly swung inside the front dash to the sound of another broken window. He ignored the shrieking of the vehicle's driver. 

“My apologies,” he croaked, clearing his throat and coughing blood. “I’m commandeering this vehicle on behalf of the OH KRIFF.” A large truck hurtled towards them the wrong way down the speederlane. He grabbed the screaming Pantoran and jumped to the side and upwards, narrowly avoiding the crash. He maintained his grip as he jumped from speeder to speeder, finally depositing the whimpering man on a random balcony. 

“Comm the Jedi Temple,” he ordered the civilian with an urgent rasp. “Tell them that Knight Kenobi is fighting a Sith Lord outside the Senate and needs backup.”

“...What?” 

But Obi-Wan was already off, jumping into a passing open-top speeder and half throwing its inhabitant onto the balcony one apartment over. The shocked Twilek stood on shaky legs, turning to her new neighbor.

“Did a bleeding Jedi just steal your speeder shouting about the Sith!” she yelled, incredulous. 

“That’s what I thought at first, but, looking back, I think a Jedi just saved me from being crushed by a truck! Which might have been driven by a Sith, I don’t know!” he called back. 

“Oh!” She shouted in reply. “I’ll...call the...Jedi temple I guess!”

“I lost my comm so when you’re done with that can you call my wife?” 

“Sure!”

Obi-Wan flew directly towards the center of the growing chaos as flaming speeder wrecks fell in a rippling escalation of destruction, allowing the Force to guide him to the side of the disaster closest to the senate building. He spotted a figure jumping from a speeder onto a catwalk and catching themselves with a nimble forward roll. He dove after them, throwing himself from his commandeered vehicle so his trajectory would bring his boots into direct contact with the man’s head. 

Palpatine narrowly dodged and Obi-Wan followed up with a punch aimed directly at the old man’s already flattened face, enhancing his speed and pressuring the Chancellor to employ his own Force heightened sparring skills. Obi-Wan restrained himself from grinning, confident that at least one holocam was catching the Chancellor’s uncanny abilitites. Sidious's eyes flashed, no doubt coming to the same realization. 

Already the pedestrian catwalks and balconies were growing crowded as the intrigue of disaster drew the morbidly curious.

“Hey, there’s a Jedi fighting some old guy down there!”

“Holy Kriff I think that’s the Chancellor.”

“Are you sure that’s a Jedi? He doesn’t have a lightsaber and anyone can buy a robe...”

“Pretty sure the Chancellor can’t move like that.”

“Hear me out—I actually think he might be a Mandalorian disguised as a Jedi. I swear I caught a glimpse of armor on under the robe, look!”  

“Shit you’re right, you can totally see flashes of red through the tears in his robe — what the actual fuck is happening?”

“I didn’t realize humans could move that fast.”

"We can't — at least not most of us, not usually..."

I didn’t realize old humans could move that fast!”

“We definitely can’t! They must both be Jedi!” 

Sidious pinned Kenobi to the ground with a furious wave of cold energy. 

“You’ve already lost, Palpatine!” Obi-Wan shouted through his ruined throat, hoping to at least make his death meaningful. “Everyone’s going to know the kind of monster you really are! There are holos! You can kill me but your — your attempt to destroy the Republic is never going to succeed!” he accused wildly.

Sidious’s eyes narrowed in fury. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he hissed. "Absolutely no idea!"

The Knight grinned, mind racing and lies tripping out even as he could practically feel blood drip into his brain. 

“You didn’t think I would really confront a Sith Lord alone for no reason? I’ve recorded footage of everything you’ve said during our fight. The Kamonians...Gunray...Your...Sith...Armies...won’t win!” he yelled, passionately hoping that other Jedi would arrive before Sidious could kill all the onlookers.

The Sith drew a blood red lightsaber from his sleeve, igniting it and baring his teeth. “You will die. And then everyone you care about will fall or die. And then everything you’ve ever cared about will burn.”

Obi-Wan softly gurgled blood as his vision grew dim, only to be jolted awake as something impacted his chest. The Jedi Knight looked down in hazy alarm; the Chancellor stared in disbelief at his stalled saber. The chestplate began to heat up beneath the blade and a hole in his robe burned wider from the point of impact. 

Above him, Obi-Wan saw a lightsaber rise again, now positioned to stab through his unprotected head. Distantly he heard a child scream, inspiring a rush of panic and confusion. 

Anakin,” he gasped hoarsely.

In a surge of energy, he pushed off his palms and lifted in an inverted kata, locking his legs around Sidious’s throat and slamming the Sith backwards in a continuation of an Ataru springing backroll. He groaned as the move brought his face into a hard impact with the ground. He felt a hand grab his boot, and blearily considered his options before deliberately pushing sideways and rolling off the edge of the catwalk. He didn't have attention to spare on clothing as the shredded and burnt remains of fabric finally gave up, fluttering in the wind.

He landed painfully on the wide observation deck below, just avoiding crushing a random passerby. He grasped a gleaming chair bolted to the walkway to pull himself to his feet.

Run,” he urged the crowd, spitting blood. Something about the order must have been convincing, as they quickly began to scatter. 

Palpatine landed in front him with what Obi-Wan felt was unnecessary force, slashing wildly with his blade. Obi-Wan ducked behind the public seating, which was quickly sheared to pieces, along with what Obi-Wan vaguely suspected were a few of his fingers.

“I. Will. Kill. You,” the wild-eyed chancellor roared.

“So you’ve said!” Obi-Wan gasped back, parrying a furious blow with his gauntlet and buckling under the intensity. 

Palpatine snarled and outstretched one hand, electricity erupting. 

Obi-Wan collapsed to the ground in agony, exposed skin burning and muscles clenching in torment. He continued to shudder involuntary, even as the lightning stopped. The Chancellor knelt beside him, icy hand pushing the Jedi’s already abused neck into the floor of the walkway. 

Obi-Wan scrambled weakly for a weapon or escape route of any kind, but all he could feel were the searing fragments of the destroyed observation chairs. 

“After I kill you,” Palpatine gloated in a gleeful whisper while the dying Knight’s hand tightened hopelessly around a metal chair leg. “I’m going to steal your padawan, fly directly to Nal Hutta, find the first interested renter—”

Obi-Wan whipped the broken metal around with fury stronger than fear or anger or hate, slamming it full force into the side of Palpatine’s head with an extremely satisfying crunch of bone and spray of blood.

The Sith collapsed to the side, hand raising in defense and dark energy pooling with terrifying wrath. Obi-Wan slammed the mutilated durasteel chair down again, breaking the Chancellor’s hand and rendering his face almost unrecognizable. Still the dark side swirled, cutting into the Jedi’s mind and body like daggers of ice. 

Possessed with singular purpose and part of a metal chair, Obi-Wan ignored the swelling dark in favor of smashing Palpatine’s skull again. 

He was rewarded with a spray of viscera as the man’s forehead caved in.

Grey matter splattered as he drove the durasteel chair leg down one last time, and the dark side exploded.

Obi-Wan flew back, hurled into the opposite railing of the walkway. The catwalk shuddered alarmingly and he distantly heard shouts of terror before the high pitched ringing in his head overtook what was left of his hearing.

He blacked out, only to be woken immediately, or at least what felt like immediately, with Master Gallia staring at him in concern. 

Palpatine,” he tried to say, but he couldn’t quite make out his words or her response. “Palpatine,” he repeated urgently, feeling the need to communicate something. 

“–dead! –Pa––is dead. –top––ing” 

Everything went black again.

Obi-Wan woke to a heavy taste of iron in what he strongly suspected was an emergency medispeeder. Among other flickering sensations, he vaguely recognized Master Plo’s steady Force presence. He tried to speak, but found his face wasn’t quite moving under his command. Giving up on that, he instead mentally attempted to reach out and ask ‘What happened? Is Anakin alright?’ 

The Knight was frustrated and a little embarrassed to find his thoughts moving almost as sluggishly as his body, so what he projected was probably closer to ‘?!?PADAWANCHILD?!?!?ANAKINSAFE?!?’ than anything intelligible. 

To his relief, Plo-Koon seemed to get the message, projecting back ‘Anakin is Safe. Please hold Still. Anakin is Safe’ until quiet unconsciousness took hold once more.

Chapter 4: Well That Certainly Just Happened (In Which The Public Reacts On Space Tumblr)

Notes:

Thank you for all your comments, I really appreciate them! Please let me know if image descriptions are not right/not working. You can also read these all over on my tumblr

Chapter Text

[Tumblr post] written: [Space gif of Mando(?) Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Crushing Supreme Chancellor of the Republic Sheev Palpatine’s Throat with his ankles] [Big JB 21 Meme saying 'god I wish that were me']


[Tumblr post] Me, watching a vid of a random dude jump out of a speeder and forward rolling onto a walkway: oh damn / Me, watching a SECOND random dude jump out of HIS speeder and aim feet first for the first dude's head: oh DAMN / Me, watching them turn and realizing the first dude is the CHANCELLOR OF THE REPUBLIC: OH DAMN / Me, watching them start fighting like a fuckin sped-up holo and realizing they're both Force dudes: OH! DAMN! / Me, watching the CHANCELLOR OF THE REPUBLIC PULL OUT A LIGHTSABER AND SHOOTING LIGHTNING FROM HIS HANDS: OH!!DAMN!! / Me, watching the Chancellor of the Republic get his head bashed in with half a Metal Chair: !!oOHDAAMNn!!!! / Me, a week later, reading news report that the Chancellor of the Republic apparently had a droid army and a clone toddler army and was planning on destroying the galaxy: O H D A M N


[Tumblr post] Everyone: Did he say Kaminoans? Anyone know who they are? And Gunray? Like Trade Federation Gunray?  And Sith ARMIES? / Jedi and Senate Investigation Team: goes to Kamino and finds giant clone army / Newt Gunray: [Reaction Image of Jordan Peele Sweating Profusely]


[Chat style tumblr text post] Death Watch Mandalorians: This is an Outrage! A Jedi in Stolen Beskar is Sacrilege! We demand– / New Mandalorians: The continued use of old Mandalorian artifacts in violent conflict is deeply disrespectful to– / Some Random Person: *enhances audio from epic fight to reveal that Jedi said 'Anakin' right before post-stab handstand throat-crunch backflip (Anakin is revealed to be the name of Jedi's 12-year-old jedi-son)* /Death Watch Mandalorians: ... / New Mandalorians: ... />


[Chat style tumblr text post. Continuation of previous post] Jedi Council: We’ve defeated the Sith, as was our ancient and sacred duty. / Everyone: That’s great but it kind-of seems like…it was actually just the one Jedi…we’re happy but…feels like this guy was the only pulling his weight in the Sith department. / Jedi Council: Oh no definitely it’s all him; we actually called him the Sith Slayer before this. We’re probably going to have to think of a new title when he wakes up lol. / Everyone: You ALREADY called him Sith Slayer? There ANOTHER Sith?? / Jedi Council: Ok you have to promise not to freakout–


[Chat style tumblr text post. Continuation of previous post] ...ALREADY called him Sith Slayer? ANOTHER Sith?? / Jedi Council: Ok you have to promise not to freakout–


[Chat style tumblr text post] Jango Fett (True Mandalorian Leader, apparently not dead): Hey y'all...just woke up from some sort of...mind control hangover...the fuck is going on? /
Literal army of babies: h e l l o f a t h e r /
Jango Fett: right right coolcoolcool

Chapter 5: So. He Killed Palpatine (In Which, Much To Obi-Wan Kenobi's Surprise, While Dealing With The Consequences of One's Own Action's Can Be A Lot, It Isn't Always ENTIRELY A Bad Thing).

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan blinked awake, head cloudy and body heavy, as if under unusually high gravity. But no, there was the all-too-recognizable ceiling of the temple healing halls, its mosaic ceiling drifting in lazy, clockwise circles.

What did I do this time? Wait, I need to tell the rest of the Jedi — I need to tell them... there was something important...

Oh dear, he was on the good painkillers, wasn't he?

“Obi-Wan?” someone familiar asked, voice and force presence ringing with a startling peal of hope.

“Bant?” he tried to reply, only to be met with burning pain in his throat. All he managed to get out was an unintelligible coughing fit which pulled sharply at his gut.

“Take it easy!” she urged, moving into his blurry line of sight. “You’ve had extensive abdominal surgery, and your throat was — was crushed rather severely. It’s going to take more time for the grafts to heal.”

Obi-Wan nodded, chastened, before cautiously starting the process of pushing himself up in bed; Bant assisted him with two careful hands on his back when it became clear he wasn't quite up to the task, hastily shifting pillows around as supports. The effort made his muscles ache and the room spin faster, but things settled down well enough once he was sitting up.

He looked around, sagging in relief at a small oily handprint on one of the otherwise sterile visitor chairs. Anakin had been here recently, and was in good enough health to be tinkering. Good, that was good. That was important.

He suddenly realized half his vision was obscured and sluggishly raised a hand to his face, only to find heavy cloth.

“I’m sorry, we weren’t able to save your eye,” Bant said softly. “Once you’re a little more healed we can discuss artificial or bioengineered replacement options.”

She plucked a cup off a counter overcrowded with a dizzying array of flowers. “Here, drink some of this if you’re feeling up to it, it’ll make talking a little easier.”

Obi-Wan accepted the drink, only to feel it slide out of numb hands. Bant gently closed her hands around his, helping to guide the drink to his lips. He grimaced at the taste.

“Bacta infused water,” she apologized. “You’re going to be drinking bacta infused liquids for some time, I’m afraid.”

A wave of exhaustion swept over him and Bant set the cup down as Obi-Wan sagged.

“Anakin?” he managed to rasp out.

“Anakin’s fine, he’s completely safe,” Bant said with a comforting squeeze of his shoulder. “He’ll be annoyed to know he missed you waking up, he very much wanted to be there.”

Obi-Wan was going to say something else, but sleep dragged him under first.

//

Obi-Wan opened his eyes — his eye — to the sight of Quinlan Vos scowling over a datapad. The dark spot on the left side of his vision was more noticeable than before. He didn't know how much time had passed, but he was fairly certain he was in a different bed, possibly a different room.

What the kriff did I do to myself?

He shifted, irritated at how lethargically his body responded. The pad fell to the ground with a clatter as Quinlan lurched towards the bed.

“Obi-Wan! Hold on, don't move yet — let me just — the bed bends, and you’re supposed to have the water before you try to talk.”

The bed indeed carefully folded, and Obi-Wan was able to squirm into a seated position with it at his back. Quinlan helped hold up a cup and straw so Obi-Wan could take several short sips of the unpleasantly viscous and vaguely pineapple flavored water.

“How are you feeling?” Quinlan asked, hovering with uncharacteristic anxiousness.

Obi-Wan paused to think. “Weak,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “How long have I been...”

Guilt flashed over Vos’s face. “You were in and out of Bacta tanks and surgery for a full two weeks. And then another week in an induced coma. And then another week in a self-healing trance. And then three more days of sleep. You had...a lot of internal injuries. I’m so sorry Obi-Wan — this is all my fault.”

Obi-Wan stared at Quinlan blankly for a moment. His face helped the memories to start trickling in.

"Yes..." he said slowly. "Yes — you knocked on my door... you said... Vos... please just... just tell me if I hallucinated anything — did I try to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?"

"I'd say you succeeded," Quinlan replied, half-smiling, half-grimacing.

"Did I — did we think he was a pedophile, only—”

He had to pause, throat burning as he fought a coughing fit. He swallowed more disgustingly flavored water before finishing the thought.

“—only to discover that he was in fact not sexually grooming Anakin, but was doing a number of other terrible things? And did he... did he — did he electrocute me...

Obi-Wan’s voice trailed off and he took several more sips, throat filled with an uncomfortable fizzing sensation.

Quinlan nodded, wincing. “I mean parts of that you know better than me but yeah, that matches with what I understand.”

“Hm.” Obi-Wan finished the cup, mulling it over.

Quinlan Vos muttered something under his breath that Obi-Wan couldn't quite make out, but the word "dramatic" almost definitely featured.

Grey crept in around the corners of his vision, then black.

//

When he opened his eyes — his eye, he'd have to get used to that — next, he was greeted by a convenient and increasingly familiar cup at his bedside, as well as Master Windu.

Obi-Wan was gratified by his ability to sit up independently, if not quickly. Obi-Wan quickly reached for the water, clutching it with both hands and taking a long drink.

Spurred on by the sight of the Master of the Order, he also reached for the urgent thought from earlier, wanting to get it out before he slipped back under —

“Chancellor Palpatine’s a Sith Lord!!”

The corners of Mace’s eyes crinkled. “Yes, Knight Kenobi," he said. "We’re aware of that now. You’ve proved it to be the case quite publicly. And ended the threat with remarkable... thoroughness.

Obi-Wan head fell back — oh Mace must have tilted the bed, that's nice, wait, no, focus — “A Sith Lord... the Chancellor!” he said in amazement. He was relieved to find his throat only barely twinging at his outburst.

“It truly stretches the imagination,” Mace agreed tolerantly.

“You’re telling me!” Obi-Wan took another long drink, head spinning.

Master Windu smoothed a crease from his robe before saying, with extreme delicacy, “I don't wish to pressure you into speaking before you've healed... but I admit, we’ve all been wondering how exactly you knew.”

"He force choked me and electrocuted me with Sith Lightning. Lighting! I thought that was a myth!” He drained the cup, hands shaking slightly.

Mace refilled his drink. “Yes,” he said quietly. “The healers were amazed you survived so long... let alone had the strength to fight back with such strength. We’re all extremely grateful to the Force for keeping you alive long enough for us to reach you.”

Obi-Wan made a mental note to feel grateful later, but his mental space was a bit of a mess at the moment, and he wasn't entirely certain he had filed it away correctly.

Master Windu sighed. “We would have been there sooner but I’m afraid none of us had any idea that you were going to confront a Sith.” A twinge of reproach crept into Windu's voice, but Obi-Wan set it aside along with the gratitude, to be examined at some later date. Ideally when his head felt less full of bantha wool.

I had no idea,” Obi-Wan said numbly.

“Well you figured it out before the Council at least,” Mace replied, not without humor.

He couldn't help but snort. “Yes, because he shot lightning at me. I mean the force choking happened first but... lightning. Lightning!”

Lines formed between Master Windu's brows as he looked down at him. “As much as it pains me, I understand the risk assessment in not telling the High Council about a Sith Chancellor of the Republic, and goading a public fight was probably the best political move possible. But why start the confrontation so privately? It seemed rather — apologies, we can debrief on that when you're rested. I presume you were trying to get a confession about the droid and clone armies?”

Obi-Wan stared at Mace Windu wide-eyed.

“The what.”

The lines on Master Windu’s face deepened. “The... Kamonian clone army — the clones of Jango Fett...”

Obi-Wan’s eyes got wider. “Jango Fett—you mean Galidrean Jango Fett? The Jedi Killer? Palpatine made a clone army of him?”

Mace was silent for a long while, staring at Obi-Wan as though he were a particularly concerning puzzle. Obi-Wan chewed on his straw, somehow having already finished another cup, mind wandering to whether or not it would be appropriate to ask Master Windu for a refill. As unpleasant as the flavor was, the fizzing did make his throat feel better.

“Knight Kenobi...” Mace finally said, speaking very slowly. “Do you remember why Chancellor Palpatine attacked you? The soul healers were quite certain the Sith Lord didn’t breach your inner shields but I think you might be suffering from some memory loss...”

His left eye itched; he resisted the urge to scratch at it. Obi-Wan sank further into the cushions behind him, trying to think. Were there gaps in his memory? No, as usual, it all seems a fairly clear path from Quinlan Vos knocking on my door to me ending up unconscious in the healing halls.

“Why Palpatine starting attacking?" he mused. "I suppose he wasn't going to just dance around forever — force, when he dodged my blaster shot, I simply could not understand how; it all happened so fast, but the next thing I knew I was pinned against the wall by a Dark —”

“Stop,” Master Windu ordered, raising his hand. He took a deep breath, radiating calm into the force.

“Do you remember what Palpatine said immediately before you shot him?” he asked patiently.

Obi-Wan shifted, feeling a pang of awkwardness as he muttered the answer guiltily under his breath.

“I’m sorry, Knight Kenobi, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“He said, ah, ‘you’re a Jedi’ and ‘you can’t kill an unarmed man.’”

Mace Windu stared at Obi-Wan.

There was a long pause while Obi-Wan fidgeted with the straw. He was starting to feel that perhaps his thoughts were even less clear than he had assumed them to be, and he was not handling this conversation particularly well.

Windu took another deep breath, radiating slightly less calm then before.

“Knight Kenobi. Why did you shoot the Chancellor of the Republic?”

“...I was trying to kill him,” Obi-Wan said, looking down.

Why?

Obi-Wan mumbled.

“Kenobi, please, speak clearly.”

“Well—ah—it actually turns out that I had misunderstood...I mean it had certainly seemed like...but he wasn’t actually...doing exactly what I thought...though obviously what he was in fact doing was quite terrible...”

Windu stared at the recumbent Knight, who flushed.

It occurred to Obi-Wan for the first time, that, considering his plan of running away and becoming a bounty hunter was no longer possible, nor, perhaps necessary, he could have misrepresented some of the timeline of events around his apparent Sith Slaying. Or better yet, pretended to have memory loss.

In his defense, the whole experience had been extremely unnerving! For all that weeks had clearly elapsed for everyone else, Obi-Wan was still processing Chancellor Palpatine shooting lightning out of his fingers.

A wave of exhaustion flooded over him, and he sank into it with relief, recognizing now the sickly sweet painkillers pulsing through his blood, clouding his thoughts and pulling him under.

//

Unfortunately, Mace Windu was still there when he woke up. Kriff.

He opened his mouth to try and backtrack, but Windu raised his hand, cutting off any poorly thought out explanations.

Master Windu took a deep breath, radiating very little calm by this point.

“Let me get this clear. Nod if yes, shake your head if no, did you go into the Chancellor’s office with the intent to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?”

Obi-Wan nodded.

“Did you know he was a Sith before you went into his office?”

Obi-Wan shook his head.

“Did you suspect he was a Sith?" Mace asked, slightly desperate.

Obi-Wan shook his head, cringing in apology.

“Before you went into the Chancellor’s office, were you aware that he was working with the Kaminoians to commission a clone army?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, biting back questions.

“Did you know he was working with the trade federation to commission a droid army?”

Another no.

“Did you suspect anything about these armies? Anything about a larger plot to destabilize the Republic? Destroy the Jedi? Become Emperor?”

Obi-Wan shook his head at each question, eyes widening with shock.

Mace Windu was radiating absolutely no calm at this point.

“Knight Kenobi...” he asked with a pained expression. “Did you... attempt to assassinate the Chancellor of the republic for personal reasons born out of some sort of misunderstanding? Only to inadvertently save the Republic?”

“I mean once I found out that he was a Sith... I of course changed tactics... and personal is a bit... but... that... well. More or less sums the situation up, yes.”

Mace WIndu stared at Obi-Wan Kenobi, who wasn’t sure if he should keep talking or not. He didn't entirely trust his ability to explain things at the moment, and ultimately decided to err on the side of silence.

Obi-Wan vaguely wished he could get out of this through sleep, but was fairly sure that would be rude, and possibly obvious to do twice in one conversation. His throat itched and he considered asking for more water, ultimately deciding against it.

Minutes passed, Master Windu staring blankly at the wall above Obi-Wan’s shoulders, while Obi-Wan's mind started to wander.

Who on earth had been paying to feed a clone army? How was Quinlan doing at getting Anakin to brush his teeth? Am I going to prison? Ohh that’s why the force was so insistent on killing Palpatine. Maybe that would help explain things to Master Windu? Though 'the force told me to' is  generally not considered a good excuse, in of itself, for acts of violence... though this is a rather unique situation...

Eventually Master Plo walked in, letting out a pleased noise.

“There he is! The Hero of the Republic!”

Mace Windu closed his eyes.

“Is that what they’re calling me?” Obi-Wan asked weakly, when it became clear Master Windu wasn’t ready to address everything wrong with that.

“Oh! Your drink is empty! Mace, Vokara was very clear with her instructions!” Master Plo scolded.

Mace Windu didn’t reply.

Plo-Koon snatched the cup from his bedside, talking boisterously as he filled it from a pitcher. “Well, the public is throwing around a lot of titles, but since you already had Sith Slayer...”

“Oh dear,” Obi-Wan said faintly, accepting the terrible water and drinking it for lack of anything better to do.

Plo-Koon gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I’m afraid to tell you it’s going to be very difficult for you to dodge commendations for your actions. Now that you’re awake you’re going to be faced with quite a backlog of requests for ceremonies and interviews—”

Obi-Wan choked. “Ceremonies?” he repeated in a higher pitch. He snuck a look at Master Windu. His eyes were closed, though he didn't appear to be meditating.

That probably wasn't a good sign.

"Yes, ceremonies," Plo-Koon said with far too much relish. "Turns out there are quite a lot of old traditions on the books regarding circumstances remarkably similar to this one."

Master Healer Vokara Che entered the room at brisk pace. “I thought I heard voices — I will remind you that before he is the ‘Sith Slayer Returned’ or ‘The True Chosen One’ or any such nonsense he is first and foremost my patient.”

She gave a sharp look to both Council Members. Plo-Koon nodded contritely while Master Windu continued to not say or do anything.

“The — no, no Anakin’s the chosen one —" Obi-Wan sputtered. "Anakin’s the reason — people aren’t actually calling me that, right?” he asked, drugs doing an admirable job at suppressing the panic he was fairly sure he was going to feel later. The device in Master Che's hand beeped faintly in answer.

“That and more, young Kenobi,” another familiar voice suddenly added, below his field of vision. “To collect your honors, expect to survive, you did not, mmn?”

“Master Yoda! No, I—I really didn’t expect... any honors... at most I was hoping that people would understand...” Obi-Wan protested weakly, shooting Windu a beseeching look which yet again failed to garner a response.

Che rolled her eyes, flipping a lek behind her somewhat sarcastically as she attached a glowing device to his chest. "Of course you didn't."

He barely refrained from wincing as several needles bit into him.

“Perhaps we would have had a better chance of understanding had you left us any of your evidence,” Master Plo chided gently.

“Put together the pieces we did, in our time,” Yoda added, hopping up on the nightstand to affectionately poke his shoulder.

Obi-Wan leaned back, feeling increasingly light-headed.

“Your vitals look good, all things considered,” Master Che said, sounding smug. “You should be back to getting into trouble in a year or so.”

Obi-Wan jerked his head in her direction, aghast. “A year?!”

“Busy, you will be, if work you wish. A seat, open there is for you. Comfortable chair, good company, important duties.”

Master Windu’s eyes squeezed further closed.

“What?” Obi-Wan asked, bewildered.

The healer scowled. “You were bleeding heavily into more or less all your major organs, including your brain. Really, it would be faster for me to list organs that weren't damaged. The fact that you recovered at all is only because Master Gallia conducted ill-advised on-scene amateur healing—"

"Is she alright?" Obi-Wan asked.

"—ill-advised, but successfully non-self-detrimental amateur healing, and I’m a miracle worker, and, credit where credit is due, you’re a stubborn bastard; not to mention your padawan has far too much energy to throw around — you really should consider enrolling him some healer’s courses—”

“Is he alright?” Obi-Wan asked, more urgently.

“He’s fine,” Master Plo reassured him with a gentle hand on the shoulder. “Everyone is fine except for you. He just tired himself out a few times, but Knight Vos has been keeping a close eye on him, and Anakin understands that the best thing at this point is to let you heal under your own power."

“Can I see him?” he asked. His voice was growing hoarse despite the dutifully refilled cup.

Vokara’s face softened. “Of course. He’ll be stopping by after class, in another hour or so. He’s been very punctual.”

“Master Windu? Alright are you? Silent, you have been.” Mace flinched upon being prodded with a stick. He opened his eyes, pinning Knight Kenobi with a steely gaze. Obi-Wan shrunk back, but Windu just sighed.

“You...” he trailed off. He stood up slowly, as if the movement pained him.

"I—" he said authoritatively, quieting the room. "—am taking a sabbatical. Call me when—” Windu gestured vaguely. “—you all sort out this mess.”

He walked out.

A long moment passed. “What did you tell him?” Master Plo finally asked in a hushed whisper.

"Ah..." Obi-Wan paused, limbs heavy with fatigue. "Well — you see— " He closed his eyes, feeling slightly cowardly as he did so.

//

When he opened them again, the light hadn't shifted nearly as much as other inbetweens, and his bandages hadn't been changed. Master Plo was still there, speaking quietly with Yoda.

Shit.

"Not too long that time," Vokara said, pleased. "I've lowered the dose on some of your medications, it should make it easier to stay awake."

"Oh. Good," Obi-Wan replied.

"Young Kenobi." Plo-Koon moved closer. "I dislike pressuring you in your current state, but... Master Windu appears to have left the temple. We were wondering..."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth, then closed it again, considering. His mind was, at last, starting to catch up with mouth. “He asked me... some questions. About how I came to suspect Palpatine," Obi-Wan said carefully. "It would appear I may have forgotten some details. About the evidence...Master Windu was — distressed regarding what I did and did not recall."

Vokara nodded. "Memory loss is completely understandable with the type of injuries you received."

"Alright, it is, if remember everything, you cannot," Yoda added kindly. "Our own investigations, ongoing are."

"So if I, ah, can't quite remember everything that led up to our fight," Obi-Wan asked, feeling guilty, but force, that blank look in Master Windu's eyes. "I mean I definitely remember the force willing me to decisively seek his end — really it was unusually loud about it," he added hastily. "If that helps."

Yoda nodded slowly. "This reason, understand we do. But, present to the public, perhaps not a good idea would be."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "I think — I'm not certain but I believe Quinlan Vos may have helped me collect some evidence..."

"Said as much, he did. Wait to confer with you, he wanted."

Obi-Wan sagged backwards with relief. "Yes. Yes! We had security concerns... Palpatine was so highly placed..." he trailed off.

"Considering Sifo-Dyas's and Count Dooku's entanglement in all this I can hardly blame you for hesitating to reach out to the council," Plo-Koon said, exhaustion audible even through his vocoder.

Obi-Wan choked on his spit; the following coughing fit was soon rewarded with a fresh bacta drink from Vokara.

Sifo-Dyas? Dooku??

"Perhaps after I speak with him I'll be better able to assist with the current investigations," he offered hoarsely after recovering.

"Of course," Plo-Koon said gently. "Again, we sincerely apologize for interrogating you so early into your recovery but you really can't imagine the public and political scrutiny we've all been under —" He hesitated. "Master Windu was joking about taking a sabbatical right now, was he not?" he asked, sounding strained. "I know he's been under a lot of pressure, but surely you having memory issues couldn't—"

He was thankfully interrupted by the sound of small feet moving rapidly and a gangly body launching itself at highspeeds through the doorway.

Vokara just managed to snag the back of Anakin's robes before he crashed into Obi-Wan's medbed.

"Padawan Skywalker," she said, voice tight. "I believe I have mentioned the numerous injuries your master is recovering from and the need for —"

"Care in my movements," he said sheepishly. "Apologies, Master, thank you."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, something in his chest relaxing at the sight of his dangling student.

"Obi-Wan." His padawan's eyes immediately started filling with tears.

Obi-Wan reached out instinctively. "Oh, Anakin."

"Give you a moment, we will," Yoda said, hobbling out, as Vokara sighed, then gently placed his pupil on the floor.

"Of course," Plo-Koon agreed. "Take all the time you need." He hurried to catch up with Yoda. Obi-Wan heard him begin to say, "Mace can't actually be leaving us to deal with this clusterfu—'' Then the door closed, and Anakin was weeping at his bedside.

"Shh," Obi-Wan said, tugging his padawan toward him, ignoring the protestations of his abdomen. "There, there, it will be alright."

Anakin crawled up, movements ginger and uncertain around Obi-Wan's numerous injuries. Together, they somehow managed to shift Obi-Wan enough for Anakin to fit beside him. His padawan shook with suppressed sobs, and parts of him were almost certainly hanging awkwardly off the edge of the bed.

Obi-Wan ran one hand through Anakin's hair, the other hand gently resting where he could reach without twisting too much, probably an elbow, though the boy was pointy enough these days that he couldn't be sure. If Obi-Wan was also shaking, well. There was reason enough.

"Sheev," Anakin finally said, oozing misery and an overwhelming tangle of other unpleasant emotions into the force.

"...I know he was your friend—" Obi-Wan said, after what was hopefully not too long a pause. This was another conversation that probably wouldn't be helped by painkillers.

"But he wasn't, really." Anakin curled up, even more miserable. "I know. I should let go."

The side of Obi-Wan's head throbbed. On second thought, painkillers were the way to go here. "That's not what I meant," he said. "He was a friend to you. He's gone now. Because of me, your master. And... I'm sure you've found out a lot while I've been asleep. I can't imagine a single padawan learner who wouldn't be struggling with their emotions right now. I'm struggling."

"I'm angry," Anakin said into his side. "Master, I'm so full of anger."

"You think I wasn't?" Obi-Wan asked dryly.

Anakin hiccuped a sob. "I'm angry at everyone."

"It's alright, Anakin," Obi-Wan soothed. "You'll work through it in time. I'll be here to help, whenever you want. Even when I'm the one you're angry with."

Anakin sobbed another minute, force presence roiling, before finally pulling himself in with a deep breath, and wiping his nose on the sheets. "You looked so cool when you were angry," he mumbled into Obi-Wan's side.

"Oh force," Obi-Wan groaned. "Of course there was holofootage. Of course you watched."

"Are you... still angry?" Anakin asked.

Fuck.

Obi-Wan tried to think of the right answer for a padawan learner. His head throbbed again.

"Honestly? Right now I'm mostly just tired. I feel like I was run over by a pack of bantha. It's never a good idea to try and deal with large emotional gnarls while you're this exhausted, remember that my young padawan."

"You've been asleep for years," Anakin whined. "How are you still tired?"

"Years?" he asked, amused.

"At least three," Anakin huffed, curling up against him.

Obi-Wan stroked his hair in peaceful silence for a moment.

"...Did you really smash in his skull with a metal chair to protect me?"

"I would do a lot of things to protect you," he confessed. "I'm sorry Anakin — I should have talked with you when I grew concerned with his behavior. I felt at the time I had to act swiftly, but I worry I only caused you more pain."

"It was a really cool fight."

"...Thank you, padawan."

"Can you teach me how to choke people with my ankles like that?" he sniffled.

Obi-Wan groaned internally. "Of course, as a Jedi, violence—" 

"Violence is our last resort," Anakin interrupted. "Right, yeah —but if it is needed—"

"—Such as when someone—" Obi-Wan said, talking over him, "—after careful consideration, is found to be both politically insulated and positioned to commit great further harm—"

"Actually, I think you, the person who killed my trusted friend, lecturing me on why he was ultra especially irredeemably evil is traumatizing, even more traumatizing than all those holo compilations of you —"

"Oh force above, of course there's — oh. Oh no — please don't tell me—"

"The latest Jizz music," Anakin said, far too gleeful.

Obi-Wan groaned. Unfortunately, the extra movement in his chest triggered an admittedly ghastly sounding coughing fit and Anakin immediately lost the small edge of grace he had managed to cultivate during their back and forth.

"Master?" he asked urgently. "Master — hold on — I'll go get—"

"I'm fine," Obi-Wan rasped. "Any more of that —"

Anakin was already scrambling to fetch the pitcher.

Such a good boy, he thought affectionately, watching him pour and carry over a glass with the same care others might have when handling molten gold.

Obi-Wan drank with a reciprocal amount of delicacy, knowing his padawan was watching falcon-eyed for any wasted drops.

"Perhaps we should finish this conversation a little later," Obi-Wan said, once his airways calmed down.

Coughing should not be this exhausting.

"Of course," Anakin said, subdued, but he crawled back into bed readily enough at Obi-Wan's gesture

“Really, though —” Obi-Wan started to say, feeling it was his duty to wrap up the lesson, but he was fortunately cut off before he was forced to figure out exactly what that lesson was.

“It’s alright,” Anakin chimed comfortingly. “We have time to talk about it, master. Can’t you tell?”

“Hm?” Obi-Wan replied, fighting the droop of his eyelids. 

The force clears,” Anakin said, voice sonorous. “The dark retreats.

“Oh.” Obi-Wan’s eyes started falling closed. “That’s nice.”

“So we have time. To figure out the rest.”

 “Very nice,” Obi-Wan murmured.

His padawan curled against him, force presence like ocean waves rocking him to sleep.

“The force says it’s going to be alright,” Anakin whispered, wonderingly. “It’s going to be alright.”

Obi-Wan smiled, then once again slipped back to sleep.

Notes:

Thank you so much to everyone who's left a comment on this over the years! I know I haven't often replied, but I promise you I have read and cherished every single one. Love you all <3

please enjoy these notes from my tumblr:

#senate investigation committee: what do you mean most of the evidence you collected before your duel is gone
#Obi-Wan: it. it—
#Vos: it exploded!
#Obi-Wan (through clenched teeth): yes. as my colleague says. it. exploded.
#senate investigation committee: [nodding] ah yes things connected to him do have the tendency to do that don't they
#Obi-Wan: ...mhm
#Plo Koon (on his third mug of space red bull that day): alright sith killer we found ANOTHER sith lab because — get this —
#Vos: it exploded when he died?
#Plo Koon: [making finger guns] it EXPLODED when he died!!!
#Obi-Wan: ...
#Obi-Wan: why is there a small jango fett clone attached to you
#Kit Fisto: we're testing out an emotional support jango fett clone program. do you want one?
#Obi-Wan: ...i genuinely have no idea if you're joking or not
#Kit Fisto: to be honest neither am I
#Obi-Wan:
#Kit Fisto: there are a LOT of small jango fetts

Force only knows ya'll have had time to come up with a wide variety of delightful headcanons,
so have fun going wild with your own versions of what happens next!

[Blanket permission to write your own appropriately credited sequels/ alt versions/ memes (subtle hint for those leaving comments along the 'more please' line that I am for sure done)]

<3

Notes:

inspired by this and this by jerseydevious.