Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dean is 10 and Sammy is 7 when John leaves them to ‘go out’. He says he’s coming back the following morning, but doesn’t call or come back the next day or the one after that. On the fourth day, Dean realizes they are out of food and he tells Sam to stay put that he’ll be right back. Locking the door behind him, he walks to the grocery store a few blocks away from their motel. Stuffing a few things in his bag, he’s sure to watch and make sure he isn’t seen. Two packs of bologna, a box of poptarts and a small bag of chips is all he can fit easily in his bag without making much noise or drawing attention. He nervously makes his way back to the front of the store and forces a smile at the cashier. He can feel the sweat start to bead on his skin as he is almost out the door. Just as he steps across the threshold, he feels a hand on the back of his shirt jerking him back.

“What have we got here?” a man in a long red apron pulls Dean’s bag away and unzips it.

Dean’s heart sinks as the man scowls at him.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, young man. Don’t you know there’s nothing worse than a thief?” he says accusingly, tightly gripping Dean’s arm.

Starting to panic, Dean struggles to get out of the man’s grasp. Realizing after several seconds that isn’t working, he kicks the man in the groin. He takes off, leaving the man holding his bag and runs as fast as he can back to the motel room.

His relief only lasts a few seconds as he sees the door to their room standing open and his little brother nowhere in sight. “Sammy?” Dean calls out as his whole world begins crumbling around him. Suddenly he hears faint whimpering. “Sammy?” he says again.

Dean leans down, holding back the covers and peeks underneath the bed. He sighs with relief when he sees Sammy balled up hiding there.

“Come on out, Sammy. I’m here now, it’s okay.”

Sam slowly crawls out from under the bed and curls up on top of the covers.

Dean closes the door and that’s when he notices the door handle is still locked and won’t latch. Climbing in a chair, he puts the chain on the door. He pushes the chair firmly against the door to hold it closed.

Dean climbs up on the bed, then Sam crawls into his lap. His breath is still hitching and he sniffles from crying.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” he says, petting his hair and wrapping his arms around him. Once Sam calms down, he falls asleep. Dean manages to lay him down and cover him up, reaching for the phone. He takes a deep breath then dials. It rings twice before he gets an answer. “Bobby, it’s Dean.” he says, attempting to keep his voice even.

“Dean, put your Dad on the phone buddy.”

“He’s not here. He went out a few nights ago and hasn’t come back yet. I wouldn’t have called, but...we’re out of food and he didn't leave us any money.”

Bobby sighs deeply and curses under his breath. “Alright Dean, are you and your brother safe right now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, stay right there. Can you tell me where you are?”

Bobby made it there in four hours, despite that under normal circumstances it would’ve been a six hour trip. The boys are scared and hungry when he gets there. They both fall asleep in the car soon after filling their bellies.

Bobby waited to hear from John, then quickly let him know he would be taking care of the boys. He was sure to mention that if the younger man wanted to try to give him any trouble about it, he would gladly go to the police and child services to let them know the situation their ‘father’ had left them in. So, John reluctantly agreed.

************************************

“Heya son.” 17yr old Dean hears as he walks in. He’s surprised to see an older, greying version of the man who he used to call dad.

Bobby silently glares at John.

“What’s HE doing here?” Dean asks, looking past John.

“What, you won’t even speak to me?” John asks, acting hurt.

Setting his backpack down leaning it against the wall, he looks to John. “Fine. What the hell do YOU want?”

John’s face hardens. “I think I deserve a little more respect than that.”

Dean scoffs. “You DESERVE?!”

John takes note of Bobby’s scowl and forces his face to soften. “Look, I just came to talk.”

“Yeah thanks, but I’ll pass.” Dean replies, rolling his eyes.

“I thought maybe we can go and grab something to eat.” John persists.

“I’m not going ANYWHERE with you.”

14 yr old Sam walks in and stops as his eyes go wide.

“Sammy.” John says.

Dean moves, putting himself between their estranged father and his little brother. “You don’t have to talk to him, Sam.”

“Why don’t you let him speak for himself.” he says to Dean. He looks back to Sam. “I was just asking Dean if you and he maybe wanted to go grab something to eat so we can talk.” John says, a poor attempt at being charming.

Sam’s breathing becomes erratic and his pulse begins to race. He wordlessly bolts to the stairs and races up as fear and anger swirl inside his mind.

“Don’t you walk away from me, boy!” John snarls taking a few steps toward the stairs.

Dean simply moves to block off the bottom of the stairs from John.

Sam doesn’t slow down or look back as he dashes into his room, slamming and locking the door. His chest feels tight and his mouth is dry as he feels the wetness spilling from his eyes. He sinks down against the door, putting his head down and hugging his knees tightly.

“You will NOT come into MY home and talk to ANYONE like that. But you SURE as hell won’t be talking to these boys like that!” Bobby growls furiously right in John’s face.

Rage flashes in John’s eyes as he looks at his former long time friend.

Courage floods Dean’s veins as his so-called father looks like he’s about to take a swing at Bobby. “Just get the FUCK out, JOHN!” he screams confidently, stepping until he’s almost brushing shoulders with the man he loathes.

John grins wickedly before his fist crashes against Dean’s jaw, knocking him backwards. “Come on, tough guy!” he taunts as blood drips from Dean’s mouth. Swinging again, John almost falls forward as Dean dodges his fist.

Dean quickly grabs the knife Bobby keeps taped to the underside of his desk, holding it ready to strike. “Bring it on, old man. You’ll be leaving here in a body bag.” Dean snarls, clenching his jaw.

“You really think you can take me?” the man says in a mocking tone.

The sound of a shotgun cocking draws their attention to Bobby who’s now aimed straight at John’s head. “That’s enough!”

“So you’re gonna shoot me?”

“Don’t think I won’t.” Bobby threatens.

“This is between me and my boy.”

“I ain’t YOUR anything!” Dean snaps.

“We’re FAMILY boy. Ain’t nothin’ you can do to change that.” John chuckles.

“You may be blood, but you certainly AIN’T family.”

“You got about 30 seconds before I use you to redecorate that wall behind you.”

“You can’t hide behind him forever.” John hisses to Dean as he reluctantly makes his way to the door.

“Ever step foot on my property again, they won’t find enough of you to PUT in a body bag.”

“We’ll just see about that.”

“Try me.”

“I ever see you again, you’re a dead man. So I wouldn’t recommend searching us out.” Dean growls.

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise. And unlike you, I KEEP my promises.”

Chapter Text

School lets out for summer and Dean can’t help but continue to be on high alert. So far there hasn’t been any more signs of John. Dean had convinced himself he’d never see the bastard again, only to find out that for some reason after 8 years of no contact the man up and decided his kids would be willing to just ‘forgive and forget’. Ever since John showed up at Bobby’s house a few months ago, Sam’s nightmares and panic attacks have started up again. He’s even had to go back on medication. Poor kid is embarrassed because sometimes the nightmares get so bad, he ends up wetting the bed. Of course, Dean and Bobby never speak about it, they just help Sam get cleaned up and change his bedding.

It’s the second week of summer vacation when Bobby tells the boys they need to have a family meeting. They’ve never had one before, so Dean doesn’t imagine it means anything good.

He and Sam are in the backyard playing basketball when the garage door closes. “Boys?” They hear Bobby call out. They come in the back door and sit down at the kitchen table, faces still red, sweat dripping and trying to catch their breath. Bobby gets up and sets a glass of water in front of both Sam and Dean before sitting back down.

“Thanks.” Sam says, then readily gulps down half the glass. Dean gulps it all down, sets the glass back in front of him panting. “Thanks.” he manages. “So, what’s going on? Is it about…” Dean’s eyes are full of worry and he clenches his jaw, unable to finish.

Bobby sighs. “In light of…. recent events, I’ve made a decision. I’m not sure how you boys will feel about it, but as your unofficial guardian I think it’s for the best.”

Sam and Dean glance to each other before looking back to Bobby.

“I’m selling the house.” he says, looking down at the table.

Dean isn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of possibly changing schools his last year of high school and moving away from his friends, but he knows Bobby is just trying to keep them safe. He glances over at Sam just as he abruptly jumps up from his chair and bolts out of the room. Dean looks at Bobby and Bobby sighs heavily. They hear Sam’s footsteps running up the stairs and then his door slam shut.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby says, not looking up. “I never thought it’d come to this.” he adds, finally glancing up at Dean.

Dean shrugs. “I get it. You’re just trying to do what’s best for us.”

“Yeah.” Bobby says, looking back at the table. “Supper’ll be ready in about an hour.” he adds. He gets up from the table and starts pulling things out to start cooking.

“I’ll talk to Sammy.” Dean says. He tries to think of what to say, as he climbs the stairs towards Sam’s room. By the time he gets there, he still doesn’t have a clue. He knocks softly.

“Go away, Dean.” Sam says, voice low.

“C’mon Sammy. Lemme in. Talk to me.”

Several seconds pass and Sam opens the door before sitting back on his bed.

Dean walks in and sits on the opposite side.

Sam scoots to the head of the bed and sits against the wall, pulling his knees to his chest, arms around his knees.

“Talk to me, man.” Dean says.

“It’s my fault.” Sam all but whispers.

Dean turns to face him. “What?”

Sam closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the top of his knees. “If I wasn’t having the nightmares and stuff again, we wouldn’t have to move.”

“Hey, c’mon man, you know that’s not true.”

Sam jerks his head back up, glaring at his older brother. “Yes it is! If I wasn’t so pathetic we wouldn’t have to leave the only real home we’ve ever known! The place we’ve been a family in for the past 8 years!”

Dean sighs, scooting closer and putting his hand on Sam’s ankle. “It’s not your fault, Sam. It’s HIS fault, and you know it. HE’S the bastard here, not you. So don’t go blamin’ yourself. I won’t let you. So if you’re gonna be pissed at somebody, be pissed at him.”

“It’s just...it’s not fair. We shouldn’t have to leave just because he doesn’t wanna believe that we want nothing to do with him.”

“I know it’s not, Sammy. It’s not fair to any of us. Look, I know this sucks- majorly even. But it’s gonna be hard for all of us. Hell, it’s my senior year and I’m gonna have to start over at a new school, leave my friends behind. But just think Bobby’s had this house for god knows how many years before we even met him. You really think he would sell it and move us away if he didn’t think it was necessary?”

“I know, Dean. I know he’s just lookin’ out for us. I’m not mad at him. Not at all.”

“Just try not to take it out on him, okay? He’s doin’ the best he can. He always has- and a hell of a lot better than HE ever did. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. I just want things to go back to normal. Go back to forgetting about that asshole and enjoy our lives.”

“We will, Sammy. I promise. You know Bobby’d never let anything happen to us.”

“Yeah, I know.”

When Dean goes back downstairs, Bobby is sitting at the table drinking a beer. The oven is on and something on the stove is simmering.

Dean grabs a soda from the fridge and leans against the counter. “So, when are we leaving?” he asks.

Bobby looks up at him, a sour look still on his face. “We’ve already got a buyer, just gotta get all the paperwork in order. Everything’ll be finalized by the first of the month.”

Dean nods. “So three weeks.”

“Yeah.”

“Where’re we goin’?”

“California.”

Dean laughs humorlessly, then opens and takes a drink of his soda.

“Dean, I-”

“I know, Bobby. I’m not mad at you. I’m pissed at HIM. I convinced myself that he’d just stay away, you know?” He takes a seat across from Bobby. “I wanted so bad to believe we could just leave him in the past. I mean, what could he possibly want after all this time? What did he really think? That we’d just welcome him with open arms and forget that he fucking ABANDONED us in that goddamn motel room?!”

“I honestly have no idea what he could be thinkin’, son. All I know is I’ll kill the sonofabitch if he ever tries to lay a hand on either one of you boys again.”

“Thanks, Bobby. But hey, what about the garage? And Benny’s dad says California’s expensive can we even afford-”

Bobby cuts him off. “You just let me worry about all that, okay? We’ll be fine. I know you’re not a kid anymore, but it still ain’t your responsibility to have to worry about any of that stuff for a little longer. Not until you move out, get your own place and all. And in case you had any doubts about it, whether you decide to go to college or whatever it is you wanna do after you graduate- I ain’t kickin’ you out as soon as you finish school. You can stay in the new place as long as you want. That goes for your brother too. There'll be plenty of space in the new place and I’m in no hurry to have it all to myself. Just….whenever you’re ready, and not a minute sooner. Got it?”

“Yeah, got it.” Dean smiles.

Chapter Text

Dean and Sam’s last 3 weeks in Sioux Falls is spent collecting their friends’ addresses and spending all the time they can into hanging out with all the people they’ve grown close to over the years. The day comes all too quickly that they’re watching the movers load the truck before leaving Sioux Falls behind once and for all.

Sam spends most of the trip journaling and drawing before falling asleep. Dean passes the time clutching his worn copy of Slaughterhouse Five, just watching the miles pass out the window as they leave their former life behind. Bobby is silent for the most part. From the look on Bobby’s face when it’s Dean’s turn to sit in the front seat, he thinks Bobby seems to be deep in thought.

One of those times when Sam is asleep again, Dean sighs. “I’m sorry, Bobby.” he says, breaking the silence.

“Bobby glances over, a confused look on his face. “Sorry about what?”

Dean keeps his eyes and voice down. “If you didn’t have to take us in-” he starts.

Bobby quickly pulls over on the side of the interstate, turning his flashers on.

Dean’s eyes go wide, looking over and gulps.

Bobby turns to him, face red and looking pissed. “I didn’t HAVE to do nothin’, son. Nobody MADE me come and get you boys all those years ago. Don’t you DARE let that piece of shit for one second make you feel like ANY of this is YOUR fault. You and Sam didn’t ask to be left alone in a motel room alone for four days- you were children for christ’s sake! NONE of this is your fault, Dean! Not one bit! Not you or Sam’s. I made that decision just like I made this one. Got it?”

Dean nods.

“Good.” Bobby sighs and puts his hand on Dean’s knee. He looks Dean in the eye, his face much softer now. “You can’t go blamin’ yourself for other people’s choices, son. You can’t do that to yourself, okay?”

“Okay.” Dean agrees.

Bobby turns his flashers off, turns his signal on and pulls back onto the interstate.
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They pull up to their new house around midnight. “Dean, Sam, we’re here.” Bobby says, after he kills the engine. The boys both stir, stretch their arms out and slowly get out of the car.

“C’mon boys, let’s get inside and get some sleep.” Bobby says, unlocking the door and letting Sam and Dean inside before he steps in behind them. He locks the door and they all go to bed.

“So, have you thought about what you wanna do after graduation?” Bobby asks Dean, the next day as he’s making breakfast.

“Geez, the school year hasn’t even started yet and you’re already tryin’ to get rid of me?” Dean jokes.

“You’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy. Just wondered if you’d had a chance to think about what you wanna do next.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure yet.”

“Okay, just tryin’ to make conversation.” Bobby insists. “You sleep alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, I guess. I know it’s still the same bed, but ya know, new place and all.”

Bobby nods.

“Apparently it didn’t have much of an effect on sleeping beauty, though.” Dean laughs.

“Be nice, to your brother, Dean.” Bobby scolds.

“I’m ALWAYS nice.” Dean protests.

Bobby cocks an eyebrow.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah I will.”

“Besides, I’m glad it seems he had a good night.” Bobby adds.

“Yeah, me too. Poor kid deserves a decent night’s rest.” Dean agrees.

Sam walks into the kitchen with his eyes barely open and his hair sticking every which way.

“Hey, speak of the devil!” Dean says, standing up to clap Sam on the back.

“What?” Sam looks at him confused, then takes a seat at the table.

Dean chuckles. “Nothin’ man.”

“Sleep okay?” Bobby asks.

Sam nods wordlessly in Bobby’s direction.

“So, Bobby got any plans today?” Dean asks. He’s hoping not, because he’d like to take the car and go explore their new surroundings.

“Well, we’re gonna need to go pick up some more groceries.” Bobby answers, not turning away from the stove.

“I can do that.” Dean offers, cheerfully.

Sam looks up at Dean in shock.

“What?” Dean asks.

“Since when do you go grocery shopping?” Sam asks incredulously.

“Since, shut up.” Dean replies, very maturely.

“Alright, alright you two, just eat your breakfast.” Bobby says, passing out plates of scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits.

“Seriously, Bobby I can go pick up some stuff if you want. Just make a list.”

Bobby chuckles. “And you’d just be doin’ it out of the kindness of your heart, right?” he gives Dean a knowing look.

Dean looks away guiltily, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I thought maybe after groceries you might let me and Sam take the car and go… ya know, just check things out.”

“It’s alright with me, just...be careful. And I don’t mean with the car, I could give two shits about a hunk of metal. I just don’t want you boys endin’ up lost or gettin’ hurt or into trouble. And I want you home before supper, ya hear?”

“Awesome. And we will, promise.” Dean grins.

“So, Sam...no nightmares?” Bobby asks, softly.

“No, not the past couple nights.” Sam answers before taking a bite of his eggs.

“Good. Glad to hear it.” Bobby says, offering a small smile at him.

“Don’t forget to take your meds.” Dean reminds Sam. “You’re supposed to take ‘em when you get up in the mornin', right?” he asks.

“Yeah and thanks, I will.” Sam answers, sipping his orange juice.

“So, what'dya say, Sammy? After breakfast we do the dishes then head to the store?”

“Sure.”

“So any particular reason you picked here? I mean, does this place mean somethin’ to ya or anything?” Dean asks Bobby.

“Nah, back when I was driving a truck I always thought it looked so beautiful out here. But then I ended up meetin’ and fallin’ in love with Karen while I was passing through South Dakota.” Bobby clears his throat. “But I did manage to keep in contact with some friends I made out here while I was on the road. Made some calls and found a real good school for you boys. So, here we are.”

“It’s a nice place.” Sam says, looking around before finishing his second glass of orange juice.

“I’m glad you like it. There’s a library a few blocks away, by the way. And the school you’ll be goin’ to isn’t too far from here either.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Sounds like you’ll be in nerd heaven here, Sammy.” he says, ruffling his brother’s hair.

“You like to read just as much as I do!”

“Yeah but at least what I read is interesting. You like plain old facts and boring nonfiction. Might as well be reading from a textbook.”

Bobby sighs and Sam rolls his eyes.

Dean puts his arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulls him in. “Oh, come on. We can stop by the library if you want, once we bring the groceries back.” Dean tells him.

“Really?! Thanks, Dean.” Sam says, smiling.

“Alright, well guess we’re gonna wash the dishes then head out.” Dean announces, standing from the table.

“I got ‘em. You boys go ahead and get dressed and I’ll make that list.” Bobby says, gathering the dishes from the table.

“You sure Bobby, we don’t mind.” Sam insists.

“Nah, you two go ahead. I know you’re eager to get out and look around.”

“Cool, thanks.” Sam says.

“Yeah, thanks.” Dean adds.

The boys rush upstairs and get dressed.

As promised, they make sure to grab everything on the list and drop the groceries off at their new home before heading to the library first. The place is huge. Much bigger than any libraries they’ve been in before. Sam walks around, wide eyed and grinning ear to ear. Dean can’t help but be excited himself once he spots the entire works of Vonnegut. He and Sam eagerly go to the front desk and vow to come back as soon as they have proof of their new address so they can get a library card.

Once they’re done at the library, they go check out the school they’ll be attending in August. Westboro High School, home of the Raiders. The building is intimidating to say the least. If they didn't know any better Dean would've easily assumed just passing by that this must be a local college campus.

There's so many businesses and houses all within the 10 miles between their new house and the school it's hard to believe. A frozen yogurt shop, a bakery, a diner, a motel, a small garage, and the rest of the way is filled in with houses equally as nice as theirs and some are even nicer. Now Dean is really wondering how they're going to afford living here.

Once they get back home, Sam heads upstairs while Dean decides to look around the new house. He's surprised to find there's apparently a guest bedroom, an actual dining room separate from the kitchen, a three car garage and a fenced in full back patio.

By the time he heads back to the kitchen, Bobby and Sam are already sitting at the table talking and laughing. After all they've been through, Dean relishes in every smile and moment of peace they have together. Right then and there, he makes a decision.

"Hey, I got a question." Dean says to Bobby, taking a seat beside his brother.

Sam and Bobby both look at him.

"Sure, what is it, son?" Bobby asks.

"Well, I...uh, I've been thinkin' and...would it be okay if I started callin' you Dad? I mean if it's weird or anything-"

Bobby cuts him off. "If that's what you wanna call me, I'd be honored." He says, patting Dean's shoulder with a soft smile.

"I think I'd like that. We might not be blood but you're my family."

"That's how I feel too." Sam chimes in, looking grinning at Bobby. "You've been a dad to us almost as far back as I can remember."

Bobby's eyes get noticeably watery and he turns his head and clearing his throat. "I certainly think of you boys as my family too." He says, voice low and a little uneven.

Dean and Sam look at each other and smile. Sam gets up and starts looking in the fridge.

"Oh, I uh..i got a surprise for you both."

"A surprise?" Sam asks.

"Yep." Bobby confirms.

"For both of us?" Dean asks.

Bobby laughs. "Yeah for both of you. It's not THAT hard to believe is it?"

"No, it's not that just kinda the timing I guess." Sam replies.

"Well, if you boys are up to it, I thought maybe tomorrow we'd go see my friend Donny. He owns a used car lot a couple towns over."

"Are you serious?!" Sam asks excitedly.

"We're getting a second car?!" Dean asks, just as excited as Sam seems to be.

"Well, yeah but also... if you both find something you like, you'll each be leaving with a car of your own."

Sam and Dean both look at each other then back to Bobby with wide eyes and mouth open in shock.

"Are you serious?!" Dean can't help but repeat Sam's earlier question.

"For real?!" Sam adds.

Bobby chuckles again.

"Wait so you got a three car garage on purpose?" Dean asks.

"Yep."

"Wow, I don't even know what to say!" Sam says.

"Well, I do!" Dean says. He jumps up and comes around the table hugging Bobby tight. "Thanks Dad." He says, voice breaking. He shuts his eyes as the tears start to fall.

"You're welcome, son."

Dean pulls back and wipes his eyes, then Sam pulls Bobby in for a hug and says thanks.

When they pull away, they're both wiping their eyes too.

"So we're good for tomorrow then?"

"Yeah of course!" Sam answers.

"Hell yeah!" Dean answers. "Sorry." He adds.

"It's alright. You're almost a legal adult now and hell it's not like I can say much." Just watch your mouth while you're at school, alright?"

"I will."

"Alright. What'dya say we order some food so nobody has to cook or do any dishes tonight?"

Sam and Dean both grin at each other. “Pizza.” They answer in unison.

Chapter Text

The next day they head out after lunch to the used car lot. Dean is brimming with excitement and by the looks of it, so is Sam. Donny, a short pudgy balding man, comes out to greet them and even gives Bobby a one armed hug. The two men talk, seemingly catching up in front of the office, as the boys take a look around at their options. Sam stops at a bright yellow mustang. It’s 6 years old, but in great condition even the mileage is around 70,000. Only a few scratches and the paint is a little faded. Apparently it’s a stick shift, but Bobby promises to teach Sam if that’s the one he wants, and if he’s willing to learn.

Dean takes his time circling the packed lot but so far nothing is really catching his eye. Possibly getting frustrated at Dean’s lack of interest and eager to make another sale, Donny enthusiastically shows him several ‘nice’ choices. SUV’s, cars, trucks but none of them feel right for some reason. Bobby assures Dean that there’s no rush and if he doesn’t find something today, they can always come back in a few weeks, so he can look at the new arrivals.

But Dean is determined to find something today. Still, he admits to himself he also isn’t going to just pick out something random. He wants something….special. Something that fits. After an hour and a half, he spots it. A black ‘67 chevy impala that DEFINITELY has Dean’s name written all over it. “This one.” he says pointedly, walking over to it. Donny looks a little surprised, but he and the others follow.

Of course Bobby pops the hood and checks out the engine and everything- just like he did with Sam’s mustang. With Bobby’s seal of approval, Dean feels absolutely giddy as Bobby signs the paperwork, then Donny hands him the keys.

Bobby rides with Sam, his first real drive since getting his permit two weeks ago. Dean follows behind and relishes the purr of his baby’s engine as they make their way home.
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A few days later Dean gets bored and asks if he can go look for a pool or some type of retreat from the brutal summer sun. Bobby says it’s fine but as always, tells him to be careful and be back before supper. Dean invites Sam to come along, but he says he’d rather go for a run. “Suit yourself.” Dean says, shrugging as he heads out.

A wide smile spreads across his face as he cranks the engine.

Riding around a little first, he decides to stop in at the frozen yogurt shop and asks about a place to swim or at least put his feet in the water. The young girl working, Jo- so her name tag says- a short, thin blonde girl with her hair in a ponytail, informs him that there’s a pool but it won’t be open until next summer. His disappointment must show on his face because she quickly speaks up again. “There’s a creek back behind the motel though. It’s kind of a teenage hangout but not many people know about it.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Thanks.”

“I’m actually supposed to meet my friends out there once my shift ends in an hour.”

“Oh okay. I’ll check it out and maybe see you later then.”

“If my friends give you any trouble, just tell ‘em you talked to Jo. We’re kinda protective of our little spot.”

“No problem, I get it. It’ll be nice to have a place that isn’t so crowded. We just moved here from South Dakota, so I’m not really used to it yet.”

“Well, good luck with that once school starts back.”

Dean sighs. “Yeah, I already checked out the school I’ll be going to and it’s huge. Maybe I won’t get lost on my first day.” he says, only half joking. “Guess I’ll see ya later.” he says, holding his hand up and walking out the door.

After parking at the motel, he follows a narrow halfway hidden trail and quickly sees the creek Jo told him about. And as she said, there’s a handful of teenagers gathered around it. Dean hesitantly approaches and when his shoe scuffs against a rock, eyes turn to look at him.

“Hey, I’m Dean. Jo told me about this place.” he offers before anyone has a chance to ‘give him trouble’, as Jo put it.

A dark haired, curvy girl in a bright pink bikini and sunglasses sighs deeply. “This place is SUPPOSED to be a secluded spot, but it won’t be if Jo keeps inviting just anyone.” she says, tossing her long curly hair back behind her shoulder.

“Be nice, Meg.” a slim red haired girl chides as she dangles her feet in the water. She’s wearing a pink floyd t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a simple pair of blue gym shorts. “Hey, Dean. I’m Charlie. This is Meg.” she says pointing to the first girl who’s laying back on a large rock. “This is Gabe, Adam and Castiel. She adds pointing them each out.

Gabe is a short, muscular blonde guy wearing a white shirt and bright green swimming trunks, sitting with his arm around Adam. Adam is a little taller, tanned skin, wearing only a pair of khaki shorts. Castiel looks up and Dean sees unbelievably blue eyes staring back at him. The boy grins, his almost black hair along with his lip and eyebrow rings shining in the sunlight and his slightly pale skin does nothing but compliment the natural pink of his lips.

Not only is the boy gorgeous, he’s still looking up at Dean with big innocent looking eyes as the water flows over his feet. He’s wearing all black, only his feet and ankles bare besides his forearms where the long sleeves of his shirt are pushed up. His hair is spiked and he’s wearing eyeliner with his short bitten nails painted black.

Dean gulps and licks his lips, unable to take his eyes off Castiel.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s rude to stare?” Meg says, interrupting the moment.

Dean quickly darts his eyes away and clears his throat. He glances back at Castiel and sees a small grin. Dean can’t help but blush.

“Go ahead man, take a seat. We don’t bite.” Charlie tells him.

“Speak for yourself.” Meg adds.

Charlie rolls her eyes. “Ignore her. She’s all talk.”

Meg scoffs and turns over to lie on her stomach.

“So Dean, what do you like to do for fun?” Gabe asks with a wink.

“Really Gabe?” Meg sighs.

“What, can’t a guy be friendly?” Gabe asks, mocking innocence.

“Yeah sure, 'FRIENDLY'. If that's what you wanna call it.” Charlie laughs.

Adam chuckles and pecks Gabe on the cheek before looking at Dean. “Don’t mind him. He’s a habitual flirt- can’t seem to help it.” he says.

“Where did you move from?” Castiel asks, quietly.

“South Dakota.” Dean answers nervously.

“Really? What made you come all the way out here?” Adam asks.

“My dad decided to move us out here. Time for a change of scenery, I guess.” Dean says. He feels a little guilty lying, but it’s not like he’s about to advertise his trauma to people he only just met.

“When did you get to Cali?” Charlie asks.

“A few days.” Dean answers.

“You got any other family out here?” Adam asks.

“Nah, just my brother and our dad.”

“And your mom?” Meg chimes in.

Dean darts his eyes down and clears his throat. “My mom, she uh..died when I was little.” he answers.

Meg sits up and takes her sunglasses off. “I’m uh..sorry to hear that. I just assumed it was probably a divorce and custody thing like most people around here.” she says, seeming genuine.

“It’s okay. Happened a long time ago.” Dean offers weakly.

“Well, we’re glad to have you, Dean.” Charlie announces.

“You’re certainly welcome to grace us with your handsome face anytime, as far as I’m concerned.” Gabe adds.

Dean blushes, then glances back to Castiel.

“We’re going to the diner later if you wanna join us.” Castiel offers, shyly.

“Oh, I ...that sounds cool but I’m supposed to be back before supper.” Dean answers.

“You live closeby?” Gabe asks.

“Yeah over by Westboro High.” Dean answers.

“Why don’t you run home and ask if you can have dinner with us instead?” Adam asks.

“Yeah, we’d love to have you.” Charlie insists.

“Boy, would we ever.” Gabe adds and gets playfully shoved by Adam.

Dean chuckles.

“Yeah, c’mon you should come with us. Go ask your dad. I’m sure he won’t mind.” Charlie chimes in again.

Dean’s eyes fall back on Castiel who once again, is already looking at him.

Castiel blushes, attempting to hide his smile. He bites his lip and giving him a look that Dean interprets as suggestive.

“Okay, guess I’ll do that. So is anyone else gonna actually get in the water? I’d hate to be the only one.” Dean asks with a little more confidence now that he seems to have gained their acceptance- well, mostly anyway. He sheds his white tank top, tossing it behind him before stepping out of his sandals. Down to only his orange, blue and white tie dye swimming trunks, he feels a little self conscious. He doesn't exactly have a six pack or anything.

“Hell yeah.” Gabe says, hopping down from the rocks. “Care to join me, babe?” he asks, Adam once he’s standing waist deep.

“Fine.” Adam says, slowly stepping into the creek beside Gabe.

“Go ahead man, water feels great.” Gabe tells Dean.

Dean nods, and cautiously steps down til he feels the cool relief against his hot sweaty skin.

"Water feels great, Cas. Care to join us?" Dean asks, wondering why the hell he just randomly assigned him a nickname.

Castiel doesn't answer, but gets up and starts unzipping his pants.

Charlie whistles obnoxiously at him and Gabe yells, “Take it off, baby!” jokingly.

“Really, guys?” Meg asks, incredulously.

Castiel removes his pants and is left only in his bright orange boxers with black skulls on his lower half.

“Sorry, we’ve just never known our dear sweet Castiel to allow us the pleasure of seeing this much skin.” Gabe protests.

“Don’t listen to 'em, man. Come on in.” Dean tells him, offering his hand out.

Castiel takes Dean’s hand and shakily makes his way down into the water.

“You got it?” Dean asks.

Castiel grins and nods. “Thanks.” he says, voice low.

“No problem.” Dean answers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Castiel doesn’t stay in the water long, but Dean decides to take it as a compliment that he got in at all since apparently he hadn’t done it before.

A little while later, Jo shows up and promptly sits beside Charlie. “Heya gorgeous.” Charlie greets her with a flirty grin. Jo blushes hard and hides her face before turning to Dean.

“So you found it.” she says. “Have my friends been nice?” she asks, pointedly looking toward Meg.

“What? I’m nice.” Meg protests.

Gabe chuckles and Adam slaps his arm lightly.

“What do you guys think? Is he one of us?” Jo asks with a smile, expectantly looking around to her friends.

“I think so.” Castiel says first.

“I’d have to agree.” Charlie adds.

“Yeah, definitely.” Gabe says.

“Seems that way.” Meg says half-heartedly.

“Cool. Well, welcome to our group.” Jo announces. “So we’re heading over to the diner soon. You coming with?” she asks.

“He’s gotta go home and ask Daddy if it’s okay first.” Meg adds, snarkily.

“Be nice, Meg. Besides, YOU’RE one to talk.” she says glaring at her.

Meg sighs and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Looks like we’re the only two who still have to get permission.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll head home. I’m sure my dad won’t mind, he mainly just wants me to check in. So I’ll probably see you guys there.”

“Bye, Dean.” Charlie says. Meg doesn’t speak or look up. Jo, Gabe and Adam wave, and Castiel just grins at him. Dean risks a wink at Castiel before turning and following the trail back to the motel.

Bobby says it’s okay, gives him some cash and tells him to be back by midnight. Dean asks Sam if he wants to come. Sam says no, but maybe next time. Dean shrugs and leaves for the diner.

The parking lot is more packed than he’s seen it so far but he makes his way inside and spots his new friends. They sit between two booths back to back. The first booth is Meg across from Gabe and Adam. The second booth is Charlie and Jo across from Castiel. Dean swiftly decides the safer bet is at the second booth.

“Mind if I sit here?” Dean asks, pointing at the empty space next to Castiel.

“Not at all.” Castiel answers, scooting over to give him more room.

“You made it!” Charlie says excitedly.

“Calm down, you’re acting like a toddler with a shiny new toy.” Meg says flatly.

Charlie just rolls her eyes. “Ignore her.” she tells Dean. “Maybe SOME people should learn to enjoy things sometimes.” she says, making sure Meg can hear her.

“I promise, you’ll get used to her.” Jo says, motioning behind him toward the other booth.

“So you guys come here a lot?” Dean asks.

“Which one of us are you trying to pick up with that line, Dean?” Charlie jokes.

“Yeah, we come here pretty regularly.” Jo answers.

“Cool. What’s good here?” Dean asks.

“Everything.” Gabe and Jo both answer at the same time.

“We always just do the buffet. Fresh seafood, the steaks and burgers are made to order and all the comfort foods are homemade.” Charlie answers.

“Sounds awesome.” Dean replies.

“They have the best salads too.” Castiel adds.

“You can have my share.” Dean tells him, grinning.

When the waitress comes, they all order the buffet. Charlie and Jo get up first. “You guys mind watching our bags?” Charlie asks.

“Nope. Not a problem.” Dean says.

The girls make their way to the buffet and start filling their plates.

“So, uh I guess I should’ve asked if you mind if I call you Cas.” Dean says, a little embarrassed.

“It’s fine.” Castiel answers.

“I don’t think Meg likes me.” Dean admits quietly.

“It takes her a little bit to get used to new people. She’s like that with everyone at first.” Castiel answers.

“Well, good to know it’s not personal.” Dean says.

“I wouldn’t let it bother you.” Castiel adds.

“I don’t wanna seem rude, but Charlie and Jo, and Gabe and Adam...are they like...together?” Dean asks shyly.

“Yeah. Though Gabe and Adam are a bit more casual. Charlie and Jo have been dating for around a year and a half. Do you have a problem with that kind of thing?”

Dean clears his throat. “No, uh of course not. Live and let live, right?” he offers weakly, instantly regretting his words.

Castiel just nods, eyeing him somewhat suspiciously. Dean thinks it looks like he’s trying to figure him out.

“Is that what Jo meant when she said ‘one of us’?” Dean asks.

Castiel laughs. “Well, are you?”

Dean’s throat goes dry and he’s not sure how to answer. His mind blanks.

“You don't have to be ‘one of us’ to be our friend, Dean. And no, she just meant if you seem to fit in with our group.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.” Dean answers, voice a little uneven.

Charlie and Jo come back and sit down, then Dean and Castiel take their turn at the buffet.

They talk as they eat, and it turns out Dean and Charlie have a lot in common. They’re both straight A students, Advanced Diploma and spend a lot of spare time reading fiction novels. Charlie is also into video games and often plays against Gabe. Adam is a football player, most likely getting a full ride scholarship and plays the bass. Of course Dean already knew Jo works at the frozen yogurt place, but he finds out that she has an older brother named Ash, and their mom owns and works at a bar a few towns over.

Castiel doesn’t talk much, but the details he does give out about himself is that he doesn’t much care for school. Can’t wait to start getting tattoos and moving out of his parent’s house to get his own place. Charlie volunteers to let Dean know Castiel also writes poetry, to which Castiel rewards her with a death glare.

Meg’s parents are divorced. Her dad barely has anything to do with her and her mom overcompensates by wanting to know every detail of Meg’s life including not wanting her to have any privacy.

After sitting and talking for a little while, Jo, Charlie and Meg head to the bathroom.

“You doing anything after this?” Dean forces himself to ask Castiel.

Castiel looks up at him seeming surprised. “No.”

“Your parents expecting you home soon?”

“Not really.”

Dean laughs. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

Castiel blushes and shakes his head.

“That’s okay. Nothing wrong with that. I was thinking though, you wanna hang out some more tonight? We can ask the others to come if you want, but I kinda hoped it would be just us.” Dean admits.

“Okay.” Castiel responds.

“Just us...or..?”

“I’m okay with just us.”

“Cool.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They all linger a little longer before everyone says bye and Castiel tells Meg he’s got a ride. The smile she has, fades and she just says, “Okay. See you later.” She glances at Dean for a moment before walking out.

Dean walks Castiel out and they linger outside the diner. “Shall we?” Dean asks, motioning toward baby.

“That your car?” Castiel asks.

“Yep, that’s my baby.” Dean says proudly.

“You call your car baby?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah. I figure she’s supposed to have a name right?”

Castiel grins but shrugs.

They both climb in and Dean starts the car. “Where should we go?” he asks.

“I don’t know what time you have to be home, but the beach is only about 40 miles from here.” Castiel offers.

“You like the beach?”

“I like it when it’s not crowded.”

“Do you guys ever go, like as a group?”

“Not really. The rest of them don’t mind the crowds but they’re nice enough to indulge me when we hang out for the most part. And I’d rather them go when they’ll enjoy it more instead of waiting til I’m okay with it.”

“You wanna go?”

“We don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. But would you like to go to the beach with me tonight?”

Castiel looks up at him shyly. “Yeah I would.”

“Okay, let’s go then.”

“Okay.”

They share a smile before Castiel starts giving Dean directions.

Chapter Text

They pull up and park along the road beside the beach entrance. Dean grabs the towels from earlier and he follows Castiel down the walkway. Of course, there’s no one else in sight- as expected. They each take their shoes off and walk across the grainy, still warm sand closer to the water. Once Castiel stops, Dean lays out both towels and they sit, side by side facing the soon to be setting sun.

“You know, I don’t really like crowds either.” Dean offers, breaking the silence.

Castiel looks over at him again, seemingly studying him before looking down. “You don’t have to say that.” he says quietly.

Dean looks at him curiously. “No, I mean it.” he says, watching as he digs his fingers in the sand. “There’s a lot more people out here than what I’m used to. I can’t even imagine what school’s gonna be like.” he admits.

Castiel nods. “Yeah it can be pretty lonely to be surrounded by so many people.”

For a few minutes, they both stare out at the horizon not speaking.

Dean is amazed at the way the water touches the skyline and seems to go on forever. The constant back and forth of the waves crashing onto the sand, frothy white before it’s dragged back out. The only sounds around them are the seagulls and the water moving. Each breath of Ocean air fills him with peace as it permeates his lungs. He feels free out here- safe, even. As if the pressures and worries of life have been left behind for a while.

He’s not sure how long they’ve sat in silence, but he glances back over at Castiel. Somehow without any effort, Dean feels that he can trust him.

“My dad was right. It’s beautiful out here. Especially tonight.”

Castiel looks up at the sky and then realizes that Dean is looking at him instead. He blushes and bites his lip.

“You’re beautiful, Cas.” Dean says, and can’t believe the words that are spilling so easily from his thoughts.

“No, I’m not.” Castiel says, looking back down. “I know you’re just being nice.”

Dean reaches over and gently covers Cas’ hand with his own. Castiel glances to their joined hands, and then back to Dean.

“I’m not. You really are beautiful.” Dean insists, realizing he’s leaning toward the other boy.

Castiel seems to be leaning towards Dean too, but just as their lips are almost touching, he closes his eyes and speaks. “Dean.” his voice sounds almost scared.

Surprised, Dean pulls back a little. “Yeah?”

“I’m not...I mean, I’ve never…” he looks back down. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” Castiel finally manages.

Dean sits back up. “Oh. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

Castiel looks back at him. “No, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything wrong.” he insists.

“We hardly know each other, I get it.” Dean shrugs. “It’s too soon.”

“Are you mad?” Castiel asks, hesitantly.

“Of course not. I’d like to kiss you at some point, if you’ll let me. But if not, that’s cool too. I like you Cas. I wanna get to know you better.”

“Really?”

“Well yeah. You didn’t think I just brought you out here to…”

Castiel looks down again and doesn’t answer.

Dean’s heart sinks at the realization of what Castiel expected. What he must be used to. “Hey.” he says, softly.

Castiel glances up, his eyes looking sad.

“I mean it. I want us to be friends. No matter if anything more comes of it or not, okay?”

Castiel nods.

Dean realizes his hand is still on Castiel’s and goes to move it but Castiel slips his fingers between Dean’s and clasps their palms together.

Castiel offers a small, shy smile and Dean returns it.

They watch silently as the sun begins to set.

“So you write poetry, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m not very good at it, it’s just something I do sometimes.”

“Would you let me read one sometime?”

“I don’t know. I…”

“No pressure.”

He considers it for a moment. “Maybe.”

“Okay. Do you like to read?”

“Yeah.”

“Fiction or non-fiction?”

“A little of both.”

“Same.”

“Favorite Author?”

“Don’t laugh.”

“Why would I laugh?”

“Tolkien.”

“Lord of the rings. Nice.”

“What about you?”

“Vonnegut.”

“Interesting.”

“What is?”

“It’s just not a name I hear very often.”

Dean nods. “Ever read his work?”

“I’m not sure I’d be smart enough to understand it.” Castiel answers.

“What’re you talkin’ about? ‘Course you are.”

“I have a lot of trouble reading. I enjoy it, but...it’s a lot of work for me.”

“Everybody has trouble with things, Cas. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

“You’re sweet.”

Dean blushes and shrugs, looking back down at their hands.

“We should probably get going. It’s getting chilly and we’re hardly dressed for it.” Castiel says, suddenly letting go of Dean’s hand and standing.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll take you home.”

Besides Castiel’s directions back to his house, the drive is quiet.

They finally come to Castiel’s house and Dean parks. “Thanks for coming with me. I’m glad we got a chance to talk.” Dean tells him.

Castiel grins up at him shyly. “I enjoyed it. Maybe we can do it again sometime. I mean, it doesn't have to be the beach, but..I liked it being just you and me.”

Dean smiles. “I liked it too. I think it’d be fun to do it again. Just tell me when and where, and we’ll go.”

“Okay.” Castiel says, reaching for the door handle.

“Wait.”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Do you guys hang out at the creek like every day?”

Castiel shrugs. “Not really. We all just kind of go there whenever. Some days, like yesterday we all made a plan to be there and then have dinner later. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I just wondered when I’d see you again. The others too, of course.”

“Most days I’m there alone. Charlie and Meg usually come once or twice a week. Jo comes sporadically. Gabe usually only comes when Adam joins him.”

“You guys have any other days planned out yet?”

“No, not so far.”

“In that case, would you mind some company tomorrow?”

Castiel smiles. “I wouldn’t mind at all.” he says, biting his lip.

“Alright, cool. See you tomorrow then?”

“I look forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Goodnight Dean.” Castiel says, getting out of the car.

“ ‘Night Cas.” Dean replies.

Castiel smiles at him again before turning and walking towards the house.

Dean sighs happily and heads home.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Dean walks in, he hears Bobby. “That you, Dean?”

Dean realizes he’s still smiling. “Yep, it’s me.”

Bobby walks into the living room from the kitchen, leaning against the door frame. “Have a good time with your friends?” he asks.

“Yeah. It was a good day.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“So what’d Sammy get up to while I was gone?” Dean asks.

“He went for a run, we had a light supper but he mostly stayed in his room.” Bobby says, shrugging.

“Wonder what’s going on with him lately.” Dean says.

“Who knows. Maybe he’s just tryin’ to adjust.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s all it is. ‘Night Dad.”

“Goodnight, son.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Dean happens to wake up before Bobby and Sam, and feels really good. He decides to make breakfast, so he starts gathering ingredients for pancakes, and pulls out some sausage.

“Mornin’.” Bobby says, voice gruff from sleep. He’s obviously barely awake as he walks towards the coffee maker. “You’re up awful early.”

Dean shrugs in reply. “Coffee’s fresh.” he says.

Bobby cocks an eyebrow at him. “You’re in a good mood.”

“Yeah, guess I am.” he says, smile spreading on his face as Castiel’s face comes to mind.

Sam enters the kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Mornin’ Sammy. You hungry?”

Sam just nods.

“Good. Breakfast’s almost ready.”

Bobby sits next to Sam and sips his coffee.

Dean turns off the stove and turns to fill the plates and notices Sam eyeing him.

“What?” he laughs, filling a plate and handing it to his brother.

“Nothin’.” Sam answers, pouring syrup over his pancakes.

Dean fills and sets a plate in front of Bobby and then repeats at the empty spot for himself before sitting down.

“Okay, not that I’m complaining about not having to cook, but what’s with the -bright and early, can’t stop smiling- about this mornin’?” Bobby asks.

“What, can’t a guy just be in a good mood every once in a while?” Dean asks. It’s definitely way too early to tell them about his sort-of date. Plus, nothing may even end up happening between them, so better to just keep it to himself, he decides. Still, even just being around Castiel makes him feel good.

“Yeah, but...making breakfast? Just out of the ordinary for you, so wondered if there was any specific reason for it.”

“I have to have a reason to be in a good mood and make breakfast for my family?”

Sam snickers. “Now I KNOW something’s going on.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?” Dean asks, defensively.

“You think after all these years of bein’ your brother I don’t know when you’re hidin’ somethin’?” Sam asks, incredulously.

“I’m not HIDING anything.” Dean answers a little too quickly.

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Sam replies, taking a bite of his pancakes.

“Geez. See if I ever make YOU breakfast again.” Dean threatens weakly.

“Okay, okay. That’s enough. Sam, leave your brother alone. If he doesn’t wanna tell us the reason for his extra good mood, he doesn’t have to.”

Dean looks at Bobby, opening his mouth to protest.

“NOT that he NEEDS a reason.” Bobby quickly amends.

“Thank you.” Dean says, happily biting into a slice of bacon.

Dean figures if he can’t get Castiel off his mind, it’s nobody’s business but his own. He just can’t seem to shake the way their hands felt so right together. The simple act of soft, warm skin to skin contact making his heart beat faster when their hands were joined together. Or the way the setting sun reflected on the water and cast a beautiful glow against Castiel’s pale face. Not to mention all the times Castiel blushed and smiled throughout their night together- every time, making Dean melt.

He realizes he’s been zoned out, seemingly staring at the wall as he’d let his mind drift. Looking down at his plate, he sees he’s hardly touched his food. Stealing a glance at Bobby then at Sam, he sighs with relief. ‘Maybe they didn’t notice.’ he tells himself, digging into his pancakes.

A few seconds later, he feels eyes on him. When he looks up, he sees Sam’s ‘I told you so’ smug grin on his face. “Shut up.” Dean says, blushing and eating some bacon.

Sam chuckles and shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything else as they continue to eat.

“Got any plans today, Sammy?” Dean asks when he’s almost done with his food.

“I think I’m gonna take a walk, then maybe hang out at the library for a little while.” Sam answers.

Bobby nods, taking a sip of his milk.

“Want me to drop you off?” Dean asks, finishing his apple juice.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m trying to start getting more exercise. Need to get back in the habit, if I’m gonna play basketball again this year.

Dean nods. “Well, I’m going to hang out with my friends again today- if that’s okay, anyway-” he looks over to Bobby before finishing.

“Fine with me.” Bobby answers.

“Thanks. We kinda have our own little hangout spot and you could come with me. It’s just a creek back behind the motel. So what’dya think?”

Sam shrugs. ”We can hang out later. You should go spend time with your friends. I hope to make some myself. Maybe I’ll even meet someone at the library that likes Entomology as much as I do.”

“I know you’ll make friends, Sammy. You’re a likable guy. Annoying, but still pretty likeable.” Dean says, chuckling and tousling Sam’s hair.

Sam playfully shoves his hand away and rolls his eyes as he stands from the table. “Later jerk.”

“Later, bitch.” Dean replies.

Bobby rolls his eyes, shakes his head and sighs.

“You need any help around the house or anything?” Dean asks Bobby.

“Nah, go on get outta here and have some fun. RESPONSIBLE fun.”

Dean chuckles. “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Being quite a bit earlier today than it was yesterday when he’d left the house, Dean decides to bring a book with him and go ahead and go to the creek. He figures whatever time Castiel gets there probably won’t be til later anyway, so he’ll just hang out and read until then.

Fully expecting to find it empty, Dean’s surprised to see Castiel already there when he comes upon the creek.

He watches him silently as he gets closer. Castiel is writing in a notebook as he sits in the same spot as yesterday with his feet in the water. There’s a focused look on the other boy’s face as his pen effortlessly scribbles across the page.

“Hey Cas.” Dean says, once he’s a little closer.

“Oh, hey Dean.” Castiel says, closing his notebook and sliding it away.

Dean decides not to mention the notebook since Castiel decided to put it away and seems shy about it. “You get here this early every day?” he asks instead.

Castiel shrugs and looks down, scratching his arm. “Sometimes.”

“Sorry if I’m disturbing you. I can go if you want some time by yourself or something.” Dean offers.

Eyes quickly meet his. “You don’t have to go.” Castiel says, quietly.

“Okay.” Dean answers, with a small smile. He carefully steps across the creek and onto the rock that Castiel is on. “Mind if I sit here?” he asks.

Castiel shifts a little, seeming nervous but shakes his head. Dean takes a seat beside him, but makes sure to leave a comfortable amount of space between them.

“You brought a book with you.” Castiel says, apparently noticing the paperback clutched under Dean’s arm.

“Oh. Yeah, I wasn’t sure when you’d get here and figured I’d just sit and read til you did.” he admits.

“You can still read if you want. I won’t bother you.” Castiel says.

“I figured you might be up for talking some more.” Dean says.

Castiel casts his eyes down again and he picks at a fingernail. “I like talking to you...but would you mind if I write some more first?” he asks shyly.

“Not at all. Want me to move, and give you some space...and privacy? I mean you can write right here, promise I won’t look or try to read it or anything.”

Looking back up at him, Castiel seems to consider his words. “No, that’s okay. Thank you.” He pulls his notebook back into his lap but stops himself before opening it. “You sure you don’t mind? I can wait til later-”

“Yeah, I’m sure, Cas. I don’t mind at all. You can write and I’ll just read my book and we can talk in a little bit if you want.”

Castiel smiles at him, biting his lip. “Okay.” he says, before opening his notebook again. He glances up once more at Dean before he starts writing again.

Dean has the urge to ‘accidentally’ glance over at Castiel’s paper, but he’s not going to do that. He wants Castiel to trust him, and he wants to be a man of his word. So, instead he opens his book and quickly gets lost in it.

Next thing he knows, his butt is numb, so he marks his page, sets his book down beside him and stands up to stretch.

Castiel looks up at him, no longer holding his notebook. “Sorry, sat too long. My butt went numb.” Dean says, chuckling.

“How’s your book?” Castiel asks.

“Oh it’s great. It’s my favorite, so I’ve read it probably a million times already.” Dean admits.

Castiel nods.

“You done with your writing or just takin’ a break?” Dean asks.

“I think I’m done for now.”

“So you wanna talk?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I got a question for you.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“I was just kinda wondering how you met them.” Dean asks, gesturing around to where their friends usually sit.

“I went to school with Gabe. Adam’s my cousin and so when they started dating I started seeing him around more. He’s really a nice guy. Class clown for sure, but a good guy. We actually got pretty close.”

“What about the others?”

“Gabe and Adam were hanging out and asked me if I wanted to go get some ice cream. I said I prefer frozen yogurt, so we stopped in and that’s when we met Jo.”

“How’d that go?”

“Gabe was his usual flirty self, Jo ignored him, which made him more persistent. Finally she told him off and me and Adam couldn’t help but laugh. She was pissed, thought we were laughing at her, but Adam quickly apologized for Gabe and she ended up talking with us after her shift ended. I guess things kinda went from there.” Castiel says, shrugging.

“Huh. That’s pretty cool actually. So I guess you met Meg and Charlie through her, then?”

“A little later, but yeah. She was dating a girl named Dorothy before Jo. From what Charlie tells me, their relationship started good but quickly turned into nothing but drama. They were only together for a few months, but it scarred Charlie. It was about a year after that, that she met Jo and shamelessly flirted for months before finally asking her out.”

“What about Meg?”

“She’s Charlie’s step-sister.”

“Oh, wow.”

Castiel chuckles and Dean’s heart flutters at the sight of his wide gummy smile.

“Sorry, I just...they’re SO different. Almost seems like they’d hate each other.” Dean adds.

“Oh, they did at first. Took a while for them to get around to talking and getting to know each other. Once they did, they got really close. Neither of them ever had a sibling before so now I guess they both have a sister.”

“That’s really nice.”

“Yeah.” Castiel agrees, grinning. “And listen, I know Meg comes off as a bitch- and she can be- but it’s just her way of keeping people out. Charlie says she has a pretty rough past, but won’t go into any detail since it’s not her story to tell. But I promise, she really will come around once she gets used to you.”

Dean nods. “I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but you seemed kinda uncomfortable with the others around. If you’re all friends, then why do you seem to keep to yourself and not really talk when they’re around?”

Castiel bites his lip and looks down, seeming to concentrate.

“I like when we’re all together, but...they all have each other. The couples have each other and they also have a best friend. Charlie and Jo, and Charlie and Meg. Gabe and Adam, Gabe and...used to be me. Jo and Charlie, and Jo and Adam. I don’t mind that much that I’m the odd one out and not dating someone, but Gabe and I used to be so close and now we’re not.”

“I’m sorry man, that sucks. Have you tried talking to him about it?”

Castiel shrugs. “I don’t wanna sound like a jealous girlfriend or something.”

“Nah man, I’m sure he wouldn’t think that. Hell, just tell him you miss your friend. See if you guys can hang out sometime without Adam around. The worst he can do is say no, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Hey, you said Gabe’s a good guy. I’m sure he’ll understand and try to make things right between you.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Don’t know unless you try, right?”

“Thanks, Dean.”

“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”

Dean’s heart rate skyrockets as he feels Castiel’s hand in his. He can’t help but look down for confirmation, and just as he already knew, their hands are as they were last night at the beach when Dean had tried to pull away. He looks back up at Castiel and tries to breathe as Castiel is blushing and looking up at him with those big beautiful blue eyes.

He forces himself to look away before he does something stupid.

“Dean?” he hears Castiel say, voice low.

Looking back up, he starts to answer. “Ye-”

Dean’s words are cut off by Castiel’s mouth on his. Before he has time to react, the other boy pulls away. Totally in shock, he’s not sure what his face looks like.

“Sorry.” Castiel blurts out, promptly letting go of Dean’s hand and looking away.

Desperately trying to make his mouth form words, Dean just sits there looking at Castiel.

“Cas, I-”

“I gotta go.” Castiel blurts out, grabbing his notebook. He starts to cross over the creek when his foot slips but thankfully Dean’s hands move faster than his brain, steadying the other boy and pulling him back to sure, dry footing.

Castiel’s face goes pale- well, paler- and he’s holding onto Dean’s arms like he just pulled him back from falling into an active volcano. “Come here, sit down for a minute.” Dean tells him. He crouches down and they both sit. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks, more worried about the boy passing out by the looks of it. “Cas, please say something buddy. You look like you’re about to faint.”

The other boy takes several more seconds before looking over at him, and they both realize Castiel still has a death grip on Dean’s arms. Castiel lets go, pulling his hands back. “Sorry, did I hurt you?” he asks, quietly.

“What? Hurt, me?” Dean looks down below his wrists and sees the red marks where Castiel had been holding onto him. “Shit Cas, who cares about that! Are YOU okay?” he asks again.

“Uh..yeah. Yeah, I think so.” Castiel finally answers, looking back up at Dean.

“Hey.” Dean says quieter, gently running his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” he says, looking into the boy’s eyes.

Castiel nods, but he's trembling.

“Here, take a deep breath with me, okay?”

Dean instinctually pulls Castiel’s back against his chest- like he and Bobby have done for Sam many times- and he takes a deep breath, which Castiel copies. They repeat it a few more times before Dean lets go of Castiel’s shoulders. “Better?” he asks.

When Castiel looks back over at him, his eyes are filled with tears.

“Cas, what-” Before he can finish the question, the other boy has his face buried against Dean’s chest. Dean’s arms automatically curl around him and he lays his cheek against the top of Castiel’s head. The wetness of his tears starts to soak into Dean’s t-shirt, but he couldn’t care less. “It’s okay, Cas. I’ve got you. Everything’s okay. I’m here.” he tells him, voice low and soothing as he runs his fingers up and down his shoulders.

Chapter Text

Sam had thought the nightmares were over. He thought he’d put what had happened in the past, behind him and left it there. He’d even been okayed to go off his meds, was out of therapy and doing great, thank you very much. Then John had to show up and bring it all crashing back down.

Walking in from school that day, greeted by the menacing grin of his so called father- all the fear, panic, and desperation washed over Sam like a tidal wave. In an instant, he felt his face go pale as his pulse started racing. John was talking, but Dean moved to stand between the two of them. Thank goodness for his brother’s protectiveness.

It was hard to breathe, so thankfully Sam couldn’t really focus on whatever John was saying. Suddenly he looked up and everyone’s eyes were on him. Were they expecting some type of reply to something? All he knew was he had to get out of there, NOW! In an attempt to scramble away, he was actually surprised that his legs were able to work so well, while the rest of his body didn’t seem to remember how to function properly. He was also shocked at the speed he all but leapt up the stairs and ended up in the safety of his bedroom, behind a locked door- Despite the fact that he knew deep down a simple locked door wouldn’t be enough to keep John Winchester out, if it came to that.

Sam’s mind raced as he hugged his knees and the tears fell. Breathing still ragged, he realized he was angry at Bobby. ‘Why the hell would Bobby even let him in?’ he wondered. ‘What could he possibly be thinking to let him try and talk to us?’ His heart sank with a thought. ‘Maybe Bobby called him. What if he’s sick of raising two kids that aren’t even his? What if he wants to get rid of us?’

Sam sat and cried and hoped that Bobby wouldn’t do that. That he actually loved them and wouldn’t abandon them like their father had. He tried to believe it and managed to calm himself down before he heard yelling downstairs. His father’s voice was unmistakable. His eyes shut tight from muscle memory and he covered his ears as the sobs escaped his throat. ‘Oh god, not again.’ Though he’d been little and doesn’t have very many clear, full memories from before coming to live with Bobby, Sam still knows one thing to be true- John Winchester yelling leads to nothing good. By the time he gets to yelling, he’s about to get violent.

Though his mind was screaming at him to go downstairs- to go HELP- Sam was frozen with that same terror. Felt the same exact way he had when he was a little boy, cowering in the face of his father’s wrath. ‘What if he hurts Dean? Or Bobby? What if he kills them? It would be my fault. What if he comes after me?’ Sam was utterly petrified at the thoughts swirling around in his mind but he didn’t know how to stop them.

Then there was a knock on his door. ‘Sammy. It’s me, open up.’ Sam heard Dean say. He jumped to his feet, unlocked the door and basically fell into his brothers arms, clutching him tightly.

“I know, Sam. It’s okay, he’s gone now.’ Dean told him, scratching lightly between his shoulder blades. But Dean DIDN'T know. He COULDN'T, because Sam had never told him- never told anyone, actually. Not the whole truth, anyway. Sure Dean knew the basics- the reasons that matched his own for being mad at and scared of their father. But there was something far more sinister in Sam's past. A missing piece that Sam would rather his brother never know about.

“You okay, Sam?” Sam heard Bobby ask. Then he felt Bobby’s hand reach out and touch his shoulder.

Sam couldn’t answer, just stayed in Dean’s arms, face buried against his brother’s chest as he continued to weep helplessly.

Then he felt arms around him and Dean both. “I’m so sorry, boys. I made a mistake letting him even come in. Should’ve known better, but I promise nothing like that will ever happen again. I won’t let it.” Bobby told them. His voice sounded suspiciously wet, though Sam couldn’t see his face to see if his eyes were as well.

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Sam was afraid to fall asleep that night. He was convinced that John would come back in the middle of the night while he knew they’d all be sleeping, and do his worst. He laid in bed listening for any slight noise to indicate an intruder or someone driving up on the property.

After what felt like hours, Sam was getting drowsy but refused to let himself fall asleep. He forced himself to get up, went downstairs and into the kitchen to get something to drink and maybe a snack- anything to help him stay awake.

It wasn’t until he finished a half glass of milk and a carrot stick that he was heading back upstairs and saw something he never expected.

Bobby was sitting in his desk chair, nothing unusual about that in itself, however the chair had been pulled over to just a few feet away from the front door. He was drinking a glass of what Sam assumed was liquor, based on it’s amber color. And in his other hand was his shotgun, aimed right at the door. His face looked determined and his eyes cold.

Only then did Sam realize Bobby was waiting up and watching in case John comes back. ‘Would Bobby really murder him if he showed up again, though?’ he thought. But according to the way Bobby looked right now, the answer was obvious. That’s the moment Sam truly knew that Bobby didn’t think of them as burdens. If he was willing to take on someone as intimidating as their father, then he must really love them like they were his very own.

Though Sam went to bed with a warm feeling in his chest, it wasn’t enough to keep the nightmares from returning. To add insult to injury, when he woke up the next morning he found his sheets and comforter were soaking wet. What he sincerely hoped was sweat, in fact wasn’t. Sam was completely humiliated that at 14 years old he had wet his bed.

Bobby happened to come in shortly after Sam woke up and found him still sitting in his wet bed, crying into his hands. “Sam, what’s wrong, son? What’s the matter?” Bobby asked, putting his arm around Sam’s shoulder. Sam couldn’t bear to say the words, so he simply pulled the covers back without meeting his eye.

“Don’t worry about that, Sam. Why don’t you just grab some clean clothes and go take a shower. I’ll take care of this.” Bobby said, his voice low and soft as he gently lead Sam over to his dresser. Sam nodded and did as he was told. By the time he got out of the shower and got dressed, his bedding had all been changed and freshly made. Bobby didn’t say another word about what had happened.

Dean was the one who found him a few days later in the same state and he reacted the same as Bobby had every day before then- Gently directing Sam towards fresh clothes and encouraging him to go shower. When he came back to his room after the shower he once again came back to freshly changed and re-made bedding. Dean, like Bobby, never mentioned it outside of the moment.

Sam had never been so thankful for his family before, but he could also feel himself pulling away. He knew things were starting to get bad again, but he told himself he wouldn’t allow the bad stuff to take control like it had before. One day Dean asked him if he wanted to go play basketball with him, so he forced a smile and followed him.

Being outside and focusing on the game did actually help somewhat take his mind off things, but then they heard Bobby call for them. Sam had already forgotten that Bobby had told them he wanted to have a ‘family meeting’ once he closed the garage for the day. He was afraid they were all going to sit and talk about Sam’s bed-wetting and he didn’t think he could bear that. However, he followed Dean inside.

The news of Bobby selling the house and that they would be moving hit Sam like a ton of bricks- he never saw it coming. As much as he was frightened that John might try to come back, he and Dean had grown up in this house. This place had been their home for almost as long as Sam could remember. All their friends were here. ‘It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t started having the nightmares again, we wouldn’t have to leave. Bobby wouldn’t be forced to leave the home he shared with his wife before we came along, or to give up his garage.’ he told himself.

Sam and Dean both spent a lot of time with their friends for the remaining 3 weeks until they were going to leave. But as moving day got closer, Sam just ended up cutting the time at his friend’s houses less and less. Instead, he would go sit at the park in the quiet and write in his journal or draw. He’d had to go back on meds again for the nightmares and panic attacks. He had a couple appointments with his old therapist, who recommended the journaling. Once they leave, he’d have to find someone new. He wasn’t looking forward to that, either.
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Soon after the move, Bobby announced he was buying not only Dean, but Dean AND Sam both a car of their own. Sam was so excited, he couldn’t believe it! He’d only JUST had his 15th birthday and gotten his permit. They each got to pick out their own car but once they got back home with them, at least for Sam, the excitement faded.

He’d already known he’d have to have Bobby ride with him in order to drive until his next birthday when he could get his actual license. But for some reason, he just didn’t feel like practicing his driving. Bobby offered, several times even, but each time, Sam just made some excuse.

Apparently it didn’t take Dean long to make new friends. Sam felt guilty for how resentful he was at that fact, but he couldn’t help it. Sam missed his old friends and didn’t want to sit at home and do nothing. However, he kept finding himself doing just that, and with little to no energy to do much else.

Dean started inviting him to go with him to hang out with his friends, but Sam didn’t want to just ‘tag along’ with Dean’s friends, only to be known as Dean’s little brother. No, he knew if he was going to make friends, they should be his own this time, and that Dean deserved to have friends of his own too.

Sam forced himself to start taking walks or going for a run just to get out of the house and get some exercise. Of course, he made the excuse that he wanted to get back into shape so he could play basketball again once the new school year started, when really it was just an attempt to feel better. To escape from the numbness of what had become his daily life.

He knew the move was supposed to be a chance for them all to start over and get a fresh start in a new place- somewhere John wouldn’t find them. But things just didn’t feel right. Ever since John showed up, nothing felt right, or safe or okay anymore and Sam hated that. Hated that the man still had such power over him and could still affect his life so deeply. Mostly he hated John and what he’d put him through and what ended up happening BECAUSE of him.

Finally after about a month after the move, Sam started seeing a new therapist. He’d already been back on his meds, but it had taken a little bit for them to fully take effect. He was still nervous about getting to know a new person so intimately, but he was starting to feel better.

Sam turned his walks and/or runs into a daily routine. He’d do one or the other every day, then spend a few hours at the library to get out of the house. One day while on his walk to the library, Sam noticed a thin brunette girl who looked to be around his age. She was sitting on the front steps of a house not as nice as theirs, and she was smoking. She looked up at him and grinned, then waved.

It became a daily thing. Every time he’d walk to the library, he’d see her. And each time, she’d grin and wave. Sometimes she was smoking, others she wasn’t, but Sam couldn’t help but be intrigued by her. There was just something about her that felt like it was pulling him to her.

After a week or two of seeing the girl every day, he decided to say hi. He started walking closer to her and to his surprise, she stood and walked towards him as well. The distance closed and they were standing face to face. “Hi.” She offered first.

He watched her tuck her hair behind her ear before answering.

“Hi.” he said, somewhat shyly.

“You’re cute. What’s your name?” the girl asked.

“Sam. What’s yours?”

“I’m Ruby. So where do you go every day?”

“To the library. Wanna walk with me?” he asks.

“I’m not really a ‘library’ type of girl.”

“What kind of girl are you, then?” he asked, surprised at the bravery of his own words.

Ruby shrugs, and grins at him mischievously. “Maybe you should stick around and find out.” she says.

Sam really didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just kept looking at her. ‘God, she’s so pretty.’ And being a teenage boy, he couldn’t quite help his eyes roaming over her cut off blue jean shorts and tube top- not to mention all that bare skin that was showing. Her belly button was pierced, which drew his eyes to her hipbones sticking out above the top of her shorts. Sam gulped as he felt heat spread through his body.

“How old are you anyway?” she asks.

“Uh, just turned 15. How about you?”

“Well, happy birthday Sam. I’m 17. I’m also home alone. Wanna come in?” she asks, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

“S-sure. What’dya wanna do?” he asks nervously.

“Oh, I’m sure we can find SOME way to entertain ourselves.” Ruby answers, leading him back to her house.

Chapter Text

The day Sam officially met Ruby Cassidy, was a day he wouldn’t soon forget. He left her house that day, with hickeys that were thankfully easily hidden under his clothes. No longer a virgin, he couldn’t help but pat himself on the back for not only his age as well as her being an ‘older woman’, but also because Ruby was hot.

He did eventually make it to the library, full of confidence from the lingering high of first time sex. Deciding to try a new subject this time, he picked aphids. While he was back in his frequented section specifically for insects, for the first time there was another boy looking through the titles. “What are you looking for?” Sam whispered.

The boy turned around and looked up at him with a startled look on his face. “Uh, I’m looking for a book on Bocydium globulare. More commonly known as the Brazilian Treehopper.” the boy whispered back. “Are you a volunteer or something?” he asked curiously.

Sam can’t help but chuckle. “No, I just come here a lot. Every day actually. I’m Sam.” he says.

“Kevin.” the boy tells him. “So, do you know where I can find that book?” he asks.

“Actually I think I do remember seeing a book on Unusual Species of Insects. It might be listed there. Let me see.” Sam says, walking his fingers across the spines of books as he reads the titles. He stops and says, “Aha!”

“Here it is. Let’s check the contents.” Sam says, opening the first few pages. “Bocydium globulare, commonly referred to as the Brazilian Treehopper.” he reads, satisfied as he hands Kevin the book.

Kevin smiles. “Awesome. Thanks, Sam.”

“No problem.” Sam replies.

“Hey Sam, do you maybe wanna hang out sometime? I don’t really know anybody else who’s into bugs.”

“Sure. You live around here?”

“Yeah a few miles away by the college.”

“Sorry, I don’t know where that is. My family’s new to the area actually.”

“Oh okay. Well, maybe my mom could pick you up sometime and you could come over to my house if you want.”

“That’s nice of you, Kevin. Thanks. I just live a few blocks away from here actually.”

“Well, I should go. My mom’s waiting for me. Should I give you my number, or just see you next time I come in maybe? I’ll be back in here in a few days.”

“I’ll talk to my dad about it and you can ask your mom if you want and next time you come in if we get our parent’s permission I can just come over to your house for a few hours or something. I’m sure my dad or my brother wouldn’t mind picking me up later. That sound okay?”

“Yeah that sounds fine. See ya later, Sam.”

“Bye.”
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The next couple days are the same, Sam walks to the library but stops in at Ruby’s house first. Sam is a little curious why her parent’s never seem to be home but decides it must not be a big deal, since Ruby doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. And he’s the one reaping the benefits, so he doesn’t worry about it.

The day after that, when he gets to Ruby’s house she’s drinking. And she’s also not alone.

“Hey, Sam!” Ruby says, rushing up to him as he walks in the door. Her breath stinks and Sam must make a face because she gives him a curious look before wrapping her arms around him. “I want you to meet my friends. This is Bela, Lisa, Alistair, Michael, Crowley and Lilith.” Ruby says, pointing them each out.

Only some of the people she’s pointing out to Sam even look up. “Hey.” Sam says, awkwardly. Everyone is just kind of sitting around and there’s music playing but he’s not sure where it’s coming from.

“Guess you decided to have a party?” Sam asks.

“What? This isn’t a party. This is just a few friends of mine who decided to come pay me a visit.”

“Kinda looks like a party.”

“Whatever. I’m so glad you’re here! Here, have a drink. It’s SO good, Sam. You gotta try it. Michael brought it.”

“Uh, sure okay. Not too much though, I still need to go to the library and then get home after that.”

“Oh, come on. Live a little, baby. Please. for me?” She says, kissing him deeply and pressing her body flush against his before pulling away. “You gonna drink with me, Sam?”

“Of course.” he says, forcing a smile and taking the cup from her. Whatever it is, is truly disgusting but Sam doesn’t say anything. He just keeps sipping as Ruby drags him around to talk to her friends.

Every time he finishes a drink, Ruby pours more in. Each time it’s something different. Any time he tries to protest, Ruby finds a way to convince him. After a while, Sam’s head is starting to feel fuzzy and when he tries to talk it feels like his mouth isn’t working right. “I think I should get going, Ruby.” he tries to say, but his lips feel numb and his vision is blurred. Attempting to walk out the door, he bumps into someone then runs into a wall before he finally reaches the handle.

“Where are you going, baby? Don’t leave.” Ruby says from somewhere behind him. Sam knows he’s not gonna make it home, but he has to. Bobby and Dean will be worried if he doesn’t come home, and they don’t even know where he is. He staggers down the small set of stairs in front of the house but then trips over his own feet and everything goes black.

When Sam comes to, his head is pounding and his stomach feels like that time he got food poisoning. He groans, and lifts his head taking in his surroundings. It takes him several minutes to realize he’s laying in the grass and it’s dark out. The sun is low in the sky but he’s not sure if it’s setting or rising. That’s when panic hits him. ‘Shit!’ Barely managing to climb to his feet, he stands and sees he’d been laying in Ruby’s front yard- passed out.

Attempting to force his eyes to focus, he makes his way home as quick as he can. He knows they’re going to be worried and probably pissed at him, but as their house comes into view the sky is getting brighter, not darker. He’s not sure how Bobby will react to him being out all night but he knows it won’t be pleasant. Especially when all he wants to do is sleep, or maybe throw up and THEN sleep.

He gets to the front door and tries the handle. Much to his surprise, the door isn’t locked. As soon as he walks in, he sees Bobby asleep in his chair that’s still sitting close to the door. Dean is snoring lightly with his face down at the kitchen table. Sam wonders if he should just go to bed and deal with things later, or wake them up. Trying to weigh the pros and cons isn’t easy when you’re hungover. Before he can put to much thought into what choice to make, Dean stirs.

“Sammy!” Dean says, jumping up and running over to his brother. He stands face to face with Sam, looking at him in disbelief. “Dad, wake up. Sam’s home.” Dean says, looking back to his brother with a stern look now.

Bobby jolts up and rushes over to the two boys. “Sam!” he says, pulling him into a tight hug before pulling away. “What the hell happened?! Where were you, son?!” he asks, sounding like he can’t decide if he’s more worried or upset.

“I um…” Sam tries. He closes his eyes and immediately runs toward the bathroom. Unfortunately he only gets a few feet before he vomits all over the living room floor. Falling to his knees, he suddenly feels weak. He falls forward but catches himself, hands and knees right in front of the mess he made.

“Shit, Sam! Are you okay?” Dean asks moving towards his brother.

From Sam’s peripheral vision, he sees Bobby put his arm up to stop Dean.

“Get upstairs, Dean. Go on to bed.” Bobby says in a tone that Sam’s never heard from him before.

“But Dad, he’s sick, he-” Dean tries.

“HE’S HUNGOVER, Dean.” Bobby says, not taking his eyes off of the younger boy.

“Sam...is that true? Have you been drinking?!” Dean asks both, incredulously and accusingly. Like he’s begging for it to not be true.

Sam closes his eyes and just nods. The next thing he hears is Dean’s footsteps rushing up the stairs. Bobby slowly walks over, then crouches down beside him. Sam fills with panic. He can only imagine what John would do in this situation. But he has no idea how his dad will react. For several seconds, Bobby doesn’t move or speak.

Sam hears him sigh, then feels his dad’s hands on him and instead of the pain he’d been unknowingly trying to brace himself for, he’s helping him stand. “Come on son, let’s get you cleaned up and into bed.” Sam looks up at him and starts crying. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to make you guys worry. I don’t know what happened. I was trying to get home but I just couldn’t. Please don’t hate me.” he sobs.

“I don’t hate you, Sam. Everything’s gonna be alright. You’re home now. We’re gonna wipe your face, get you a drink of water and then you’re gonna go lay down. We’ll talk about this after you get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sam agrees.

Chapter Text

Sam keeps having to get out of bed to go puke again before he finally gets to sleep without interruptions. And thankfully there are no nightmares. Waking up later, he sees a glass of water and some advil set out for him on his nightstand. He sits up slowly and takes the medicine with a gulp of the water, before carrying the glass downstairs with him. He finds Bobby sorting through papers at his desk with his reading glasses on.

“I’m up, Dad. Figured I’d let you know.” Sam says without making eye contact.

Bobby sighs, sets the papers down and takes off his glasses. “Let’s go for a drive.”

Sam’s head jerks up in surprise. “A drive?” he asks, almost positive he must have heard wrong.

“Yeah. Just you and me, kid. I think we need to have a talk and I’d like to do it alone. I’m sure Dean’s gonna wanna talk to you too, but for now I think it’s best if we talk privately. That okay with you?”

“Yeah, I get it. I don’t think I’m ready to talk to Dean right now anyway.”

“Alright. I’ll grab your keys, you make sure you got your permit and meet me in the garage.”

“Yes, sir.” Sam says. It's still an old habit from when he and Dean we're younger and still with John.

“Sam, you don’t have to say that. Not to me.”

“Okay.”

Sam finishes his water, sets his glass in the sink and hurries upstairs. After grabbing his barely used wallet, he slips it in his pocket and heads to the garage.

Driving starts out slow and a little terrifying for Sam. He follows Bobby’s directions and instructions and they pull into the empty parking lot back behind the library and park there.

Sam knows this must be where they’re going to have their ‘talk’ at, so he cuts the engine off.

“Okay, son. First of all, I wanna say I do remember being a teenager and I realize that you’re most likely gonna do some things I’d rather you not. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like you drinkin’. And I CERTAINLY didn’t appreciate worrying myself sick wondering where you were for hours and hours before you came stumbling, in hungover.”

Sam hangs his head and closes his eyes.

“But I want you to know, I was much more worried than mad. How was I to know if maybe John showed up, grabbed you and took off. If that happened I may have NEVER found out what happened to you. I’m not tryin’ to scare you, and yeah I know I’d say it’d be almost impossible for him to find us out here. But you boys are…" Sam hears his dad's voice tremble. "I couldn’t possibly love you both any more than I already do, even if you were my own flesh and blood. And hell, Sam, ANYTHING could have happened to you in the time since anyone saw you last."

Sam looks up at his dad and feels like a failure. He knows he hurt both him and Dean and feels like the worst person ever.

"I’m your dad- it’s kinda my job to worry. But it’s also my job to try to keep you safe, and to try to help guide you, while you’re growing up. I’m worried about you, Sam. And not just about the drinkin’ and the fact that you never showed up at the library yesterday and were out all night. Have you been taking your meds? And still doing your journaling, like you’re supposed to?”

Sam sighs, looking back down. “Yes, I’m still taking my meds every day. And I’m still writing in my journal. I know I disappointed you and I’m sorry for scaring you. It won’t happen again.”

“Well that’s good to know, I appreciate that. Now I’m not trying to control every aspect of your life, but where did you go yesterday? And where did you even GET alcohol?"

Sam gulps and his pulse races. Clearly he has a choice to make here. He can come clean and probably be forbidden to see his sort-of girlfriend again- Or he can lie, and maybe still get to go over to see her as much as he can. Which the second option means he'll have to KEEP lying and purposely go against what he knows his dad would want for him. But it would give him what he wants. Keeping his sort-of new girlfriend and new people to possibly make friends with and of course continue having sex.

He can feel Bobby still looking at him expectantly. "It was some just some kids at the creek.” Sam finally blurts out.

“The creek. The one Dean and his friends hang out at?” Bobby asks.

“Yeah.”

“And how old were these ‘kids’?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”

Bobby nods, looking away.

“And they had alcohol?”

“Yeah. Just some beers.”

“So, you spent all day and night at the creek. With these other kids who were also drinking. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yeah.”

He hears Bobby take a steadying breath. “You sure that’s the story you’re sticking with?”

Sam feels insulted that his dad doesn’t believe him. Sure, he’s lying, but still. He’s never given him any reason to doubt him before, so why is it so easy for him to suddenly assume he’s not being honest?

He looks over at Bobby. “What are you talking about? It’s what happened!” he does his best to sound convincing.

“Is that so?” Bobby asks, turning and looking straight into Sam’s eyes.

“Yeah, it is.” Sam answers, knowing he’s getting snarky but not caring. “What, you don’t believe me?!” he tries to make his tone sound incredulous as he crosses his arms.

Bobby laughs humorlessly, shaking his head. “Well, according to Dean he was at the creek most of the day yesterday.”

Sam shrugs. “Then I guess he’s the one lying, because he wasn’t there!” he insists, getting angrier every second.

“Funny you should say that, because when you still hadn’t came home around the usual time, I drove out to the creek to see if maybe you’d changed your mind and decided to go meet Dean’s new friends. He was there, with a couple other kids he introduced me to. There was no alcohol. And you weren’t there, Sam. So you wanna try again with where you were?”

Sam flexes his jaw but doesn’t answer.

“Alright, get outta the car.” Bobby says, voice stern as he steps out the passenger side and comes around.

“What?” Sam asks, looking up at his dad.

Bobby opens the door and gives him a look that says he’s not in the mood to talk anymore. Sam scoffs before reluctantly getting out and climbing in the passenger seat.

They drive in silence until they park in the garage. Bobby jerks the keys out of the ignition as soon as the engine’s off and hops out. Sam slams the passenger door shut.

“Go take your medicine.” His dad barks, before turning to face him again. “And you’re grounded. No library, no walks, no going for a run.” he says, pointing a finger at Sam.

“For how long?”

“Til I decide you’ve learned your lesson.”

He follows Bobby inside and slams the door closed. “Seriously?! For what? For drinking? For coming home late? So now I’m on LOCKDOWN, until you say otherwise?!”

Bobby turns on his heel to face Sam again, his face red. “Yeah, that’s right! And that’s EXACTLY why. That, AND for lyin’ to me. I still have no idea what the hell you were doing for more than 12 hours, who the hell you were with or even where the hell you were! I’d say that’s more than enough reason to not be able to trust you!”

Sam shakes his head and scoffs before rushing to his room and slamming and locking his door.

Chapter Text

It takes a little while for Cas to calm down but eventually he stops crying. Dean patiently holds him and keeps petting his hair and lightly scratching his shoulder.

“Dean.” Cas says, pulling back and looking up at him.

“Yeah?” He hopes maybe his friend will open up about whatever caused him to break down, but he’s not going to push.

“I’m sorry.” Cas tells him quietly, as he sits up.

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay to get emotional sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with crying, either.”

Cas doesn’t say anything.

“You wanna talk about it?” Dean asks, hesitantly.

“About what?”

“Anything, Cas. I’m here if you need to like, get anything off your chest, you know? That’s what friends are for.”

“I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

Cas closes his eyes and sighs. “The way I feel. You. Trying to trust someone again. Then I kissed you and I panicked and almost fell. All the ways I could have been injured if I fell crossed my mind and I freaked out worse. But- you caught me and it was just all too much. I felt so much and it just...came out.”

Dean nods, looking down and licking his lips.

Several seconds pass silently between them.

“Cas, you’re scared of me?” Dean asks quietly, feeling sick at the other boy’s admission.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Cas says standing up and turns to walk away.

Pleading is clear in Dean’s voice when he speaks again. “Please don’t leave.”

Cas turns around to face him again. “I like you, Dean.”

Confused, Dean responds. “I like you too, Cas.”

“No- I like you, but….but I’m not good for you. You SHOULDN’T like me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have issues, Dean. I’m defective- broken. You shouldn’t waste your time with me.”

“Cas, c’mon. You’re not-”

“DON’T try to tell me I’m NOT broken or that I DON’T have issues! There’s things in my past that just….I don’t even know who I am anymore, okay?!” Cas yells, voice trembling as his eyes fill with tears once more.

“You’re not the only one with shitty things in their past, Cas. I promise you that.” Dean tells him. He gently tries taking the other boy’s hand.

Cas jerks his hand away. “You wanna know why I come here every day?”

Dean opens his mouth to try to answer but Cas continues.

“It’s because my parents don’t give a flying FUCK about me and if I stay inside that house any more than I have to…..” Cas’ words trail off and he just shakes his head.

“What were you gonna say?” Dean asks quietly.

“Just forget it.” Cas tells him.

“Cas, please just talk to me.”

“I’m an outcast IN MY OWN FAMILY, Dean! Can you even imagine how that feels?”

“Cas, I’m sor-”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, Dean, if you finish that sentence, I’ll NEVER talk to you again.” Cas growls.

“Are you...mad at me?” Dean asks hesitantly.

Cas takes a deep breath with his eyes closed before he looks back at Dean. “No, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me!” He starts pacing back and forth. “I hate my parents, I hate my past, I hate my life! I hate my scars, I hate my thoughts, I hate my fears and I hate myself! I’m too much but also not enough! FUCK!”

“Like I said, Dean, I’m broken. Believe me yet?” he sobs as he crumples to the ground.

Reaching out, Dean sits beside him and wraps his arms around Cas again.“Hey, hey. Come ‘ere. Easy, I got you. I’m here, Cas. And I care about you.”

He presses his face against Dean’s neck and hugs him tight around his middle as he continues to sob. Dean pets his hair again. “I’m here. I’m right here with you, sweetheart.” the words just flow out of his mouth and he doesn’t even flinch. It feels natural.

As Cas calms down again, he slowly moves down until his head is resting on Dean’s thigh. He still has one arm around Dean and Dean is still petting his hair.

Cas is the one to break the silence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s not easy to let myself be vulnerable with someone. And my emotions get overwhelming sometimes. Makes them hard to handle.”

“That’s okay.”

“Thank you.”

“For what, listening when you needed to vent?”

“For being here. And for not running away, screaming.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Cas.”

Cas nods, then looks up at him. “Dean.”

“Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if….if I kiss you?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Okay.”

Cas puts his hand on the back of Dean’s neck and slowly pulls his face down to him until their lips meet. It’s a simple, chaste, lingering kiss that makes Dean’s heart race and his knees weak.

“Was that...was it okay?” Cas asks, quietly.

“Yeah.” Dean answers, smiling. “Yeah, it was good.”

Cas offers a small smile in return before biting his lip and looking away shyly. “I, um..I can sit up now if you want me to.”

“I’m fine. We can stay just like this for as long as you want.”

Cas wordlessly returns his arm to Dean’s middle, and Dean changes from petting Cas’ hair to running his fingers through it. Cas closes his eyes.

“This okay?” Dean asks.

“Yeah.” Cas answers. He takes a deep breath, then Dean feels Cas’ body relax against him.

Dean leans forward and presses a kiss to Cas’ forehead and Cas grins with his eyes still closed. The grin disappears a moment later. “Please don’t leave.” Cas says weakly.

“I won’t. I promise I won’t leave you, Cas.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The boys are getting ready to leave the creek to head home. Once they climb back up into the grass, Cas takes Dean’s hand. “See you tomorrow?” he asks.

“I’ll be here.”

“Okay.” Cas answers. He lets go of Dean’s hand and turns to start walking home.

“Hey.”

Cas turns back to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Why don’t you let me drive you home?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t mind walking.”

“I know, but I don’t care to drive you.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

“Okay.”

They both get in and Dean starts the car. “Why don’t you come eat supper with us?”

“What?”

Dean shrugs. “Well, do you have to be home by any certain time?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay, then why don’t you just come home with me and eat supper with us tonight. I can drive you home after.”

“You sure your dad won’t mind?”

“No, I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. I mean, if you don’t want to, there’s no pressure or anything. I can take you straight home, if you want.”

Cas considers it. “Okay. If you’re sure your dad won’t mind.”

“Nah, it’ll be fine. Plus, you can meet my dad and my brother.”

“I’d like that.” Cas says, smiling.

“Alright.” Dean answers, returning a smile.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dad?” Dean calls out when he and Cas come in.

“In my office.” Bobby answers.

Cas follows Dean through the living room and into the spare bedroom.

“Dad, this is my friend Castiel. Or Cas for short. Cas, this is my Dad- Bobby.”

Cas smiles nervously. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. W-”

“Just call me Bobby.” he interrupts with a polite smile.

“Oh, okay. Then, it’s nice to meet you, Bobby.”

“Always glad to meet friends of my boys.”

“So, hey do you mind if Cas has supper with us tonight?”

“You gonna help make it?”

Dean shrugs. “Sure.”

“I don’t mind helping either.” Cas offers.

Bobby looks at them both, then chuckles. “You boys go on, I’ll let you know when the food’s ready. Spaghetti with garlic bread sound okay?”

“I don’t know, Dad. You know Sammy’ll complain if there’s no vegetables.” Dean chuckles, glancing at Cas.

Bobby rolls his eyes. “I’m well aware. I’ll make a salad to go with it.”

“Cas, you okay with spaghetti?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I like spaghetti.”

“Cool. Wanna check out my room?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, come on.”

They head upstairs.

Cas follows Dean inside. Noticing some dirty clothes beside his bed, Dean rushes to stuff them in the clothes hamper and closes the lid.

Cas grins at him and Dean blushes before clearing his throat and looking away. “So, this is it. What’dya think?”

He watches Cas look around, then he nods. “It’s nice.” he says, taking a seat on Dean’s bed.

Dean looks around at his own room. He’s got a Pink Floyd poster, ACDC, Led Zepplin and a few others covering most of the walls. White christmas lights frame his window, outside of the light blue curtains. A few framed pictures are on top of his dresser, along with some old wrestling trophies.

“I like it.” Cas says.

“Thanks. Wanna listen to some music?”

“I take it you like rock?”

“Gee, Cas where’d you get that idea?” Dean laughs.

Cas blushes. “Do you like any other kind of music?”

Dean shrugs. “Some folk and blues type songs too, I guess. What about you, what do you like?”

“I don’t really listen to music much.”

“Really? Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I just like getting to know you better.”

“I take it you’re Dad doesn’t like formality?” he asks, changing the subject.

“What’dya mean?”

Cas shrugs. “I’m just used to calling adults Mr. or Ms. and their last name.”

“Oh.” Dean only just realizes that Cas had been about to call Bobby, 'Mr. Winchester'. “Yeah, he’s not really the formal type.” he answers quickly.

“He seems nice.”

“He is.”

“So we haven’t really talked about school or anything. What school do you go to?”

“I was going to Lincoln up until the year before last. We moved houses, and now I go to Westboro.”

“Oh okay, cool. So we’ll be going to the same school then. It’ll be nice to already have a friend there.”

“Jo and Adam go there too.”

“Oh cool. That’ll be cool. Do you guys like sit together at lunch and stuff?”

“Depends on our schedules.”

“So, is the creek a year-round thing, or just during the summer?”

“During the summer I’m there every day. During the school year, I still go pretty often.”

“What about the others?”

“They go sometimes during the school year too, but mostly not.”

“So you’re used to being at the creek alone most of the time, then?”

“Yep.”

“Well, let me know if you miss your alone time and I can stay home or go somewhere else on those days. But when you want company, you don’t have to be alone.”

“I appreciate that.”

“And we can hang out after school and study together and stuff if you want once school starts back.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.”

Dean hears the front door and then his dad and Sam’s voices. “Sounds like Sam’s home.”

A few minutes later footsteps are on the stairs. “Hey Sammy. Come ‘ere for a minute.”

“Yeah?” Sam says, popping his head in.

“This is my friend, Cas- Well, Castiel, but Cas for short. Cas, this is my brother, Sammy.”

“Nice to meet you, Sam.”

“You too, Cas.”

“We’re having spaghetti tonight.” Dean tells Sam.

“I know, dad told me.”

“How’re you feelin’?”

“I’m fine, Dean.”

“Okay, just askin’. How was the library?”

Sam shrugs. “It was fine.”

“I swear this kid LIVES at the library.” Dean says, jokingly.

Sam rolls his eyes.

“Cas is having supper with us.”

“Okay. See ya in a little bit.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobby comes to let them know the food’s ready and they all sit at the table.

“So, Castiel. Tell me a little about yourself.” Bobby says.

“Uh..sorry, I’m not very good at that.” Cas says nervously.

“That’s okay.” the older man tells him.

Dean clears his throat, then looks at Cas, nodding towards Bobby in question. Cas nods shyly at him. “He’s 16, his birthday is in September, he’s the youngest of 5 boys, he goes to Westboro high and he’ll be a senior this year too.”

Cas smiles at Dean and takes his hand under the table.

Bobby looks at them both and grins before taking a bite of his food. “So do all your other friends go to the same school with you, Cas?”

“No, not all of them. A few do.”

Bobby nods. “Well that’s good. It’s nice that you guys hang out outside of school.

Cas nods.

“Do you like your school?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. It’s high school, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I know I’m older than dirt, but believe it or not I do still remember what high school was like.” he laughs.

“You have 4 older brothers?!” Sam asks incredulously.

“Yep.”

“Wow. I only have one, and I can barely stand him half the time.” Sam jokes, grinning and elbowing Dean.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Hilarious.”

Sam and Cas both chuckle.

“Don’t mind them. You’ll get used to it. They’re almost always like this.” Bobby tells Cas.

Dean glances at Cas and winks at him.

“The food okay?” Dean asks.

“Yep. It’s really good. Thanks for having me, Mr.- sorry. Bobby.”

“It’s no trouble. We’re glad to have you. You’re welcome to come back anytime.”

“Thank you.” Cas says, smiling.

“So what grade are you in, Sam?”

“9th.”

“So you’ll be at Westboro this year too, then?”

“Yep.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it. There’s a lot of clubs, and sports if you’re interested in that kind of thing.”

“I’m thinking of playing basketball again this year.”

Cas nods.

“Are you in any clubs or anything, Cas?”

“I was on the swim team last year and think I might do it again this year.”

“That’s cool. They didn’t have that at our last school.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s a lot different here than what you’re used to. Dean says you moved from South Dakota.”

“Yep. And yeah it’s definitely a lot different here.”

“Will any of your brothers be at school with you?” Bobby asks.

“Uh, no. The youngest of my older brothers graduated last year.”

“Got any plans for after graduation?”

“Not really. I haven’t decided yet.” Cas admits nervously.

“Well, you still have plenty of time to think about that.” Bobby offers.

Cas nods.

They all finish their food in relative silence, then Sam leaves the table and Bobby gathers the dishes and puts them in the sink.

“I guess I should get home. You sure you don’t mind driving me? It’s not too far, I can just walk.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow at him. “Of course I don’t mind. Just lemme grab my keys and we’ll go.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you again for having me.” Cas tells Bobby, standing from the table.

“No trouble at all. Like I said, come back anytime.” he answers, glancing back at Cas.

Cas nods and grins.

“You ready?” Dean asks when he gets back to the kitchen.

“Yep. Bye Bobby. It was nice to meet you.”

“You too, Cas.” Bobby says.

When the boys close the front door behind them, Dean takes Cas’ hand as they walk to the car. Cas smiles at him.

They pull up to Cas’ house and Dean parks. “That was nice. Thanks for inviting me.” Cas tells him.

“You’re welcome.”

“I like your family.”

“They like you too, I can tell.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too. And you heard my dad, he said you’re welcome anytime. He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it.”

Cas nods and takes Dean’s hand.

Dean brings their joined hands up to his mouth and presses a kiss against the back of Cas’ hand.

Cas blushes and grins at him.

“See you tomorrow?”

Cas nods.

They both lean in slowly until their lips meet. Dean feels Cas’ hand brush against his jaw and his heart starts racing. The kiss turns deeper and Cas’ hand moves to Dean’s hair. Dean puts his arms around Cas and Cas scoots til he’s on Dean’s lap.

After several minutes, they both pull back, panting. “Fuck.” Dean says. He cups Cas’ face in his hands and presses their foreheads together.

Cas chuckles. “Better get home before your dad starts to worry.”

“Yeah.” Dean agrees, kissing him again.

“I love your lips.” Cas says against Dean’s mouth.

Dean answers in between more kisses. “I love yours too.” “So soft.” “Never wanna stop kissing you.”

“Mmm.” Cas smiles. “Last kiss.” he says before kissing Dean once more.

“Want me to pick you up in the morning to go to the creek?”

“You don’t have to do that. I get up kinda early.”

“I don’t mind. But how will I know when to come get you?”

Cas shrugs. Well, you have a phone don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“If you give me your number then I can call you when I get up. It doesn’t take very long for me to get ready. But, seriously, you really don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to, I want to.”

Cas smiles. “Okay. You got a pen or something?”

“Oh, uh…” Dean glances around the car. ‘Glovebox!’ He reaches over and opens it and sees a few pens inside. ‘Thank you dad, for wanting me to be prepared.’ ‘Shit!’ “I, uh..I don’t have anything to write on though.”

“Here, just write it on my hand.” Cas says, holding out his open palm.

“Okay.” Dean writes his number and puts the pen away.

“I’ll call you in the morning.” Cas says, turning to grab the door handle.

Dean reaches out and pulls Cas back to him. “One last kiss.”

“Okay, now go home. I don’t want your dad to get mad and change his mind about liking me.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going. See you tomorrow.” Dean says, as Cas steps out.

“Bright and early.” Cas says, grinning and closing the door. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight Cas.”

“Drive safe!” Cas calls out as Dean starts to pull away.

Dean smiles, nods and waves.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobby sees Dean when he walks in. “Cas make it home okay?”

“Yeah.”

“He seems like a good kid.”

Dean nods. “He is.”

“A little shy.”

“Yeah, he can be pretty quiet sometimes.”

Bobby nods. “You headin’ to bed?”

“Yeah. I’m pickin’ Cas up in the morning on the way to the creek. He’s supposed to call me when he gets up.”

Bobby’s eyes dart up the stairs before he speaks again. “Maybe you should invite Sam to the creek again with you and your friends sometime. It’d be good for him to get out of the house. Plus, he seems to like your friend Cas.”

Dean shrugs and sighs. “I keep askin’, but he just keeps saying ‘maybe next time’. I’ll keep asking him. Offer to drop him off at the library or something, too.”

Bobby puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Alright, if I don’t see you before you leave in the morning, just be careful, okay?”

“I will, dad. I’m always careful.”

“Good to hear. ‘Night, son.”

“ ‘Night.”

Chapter Text

“Distantly, Dean hears the phone ringing. His eyes open and close back several times before it dawns on him. ‘Oh, shit. It’s Cas!’ He hurries up, practically runs down the stairs and finally grabs the phone. “Hello?” Dean’s sleep rough voice says.

“I’m sorry, you sound tired. I can just walk if you wanna get some more sleep. Really, I don’t mind.”

“No, I’m fine. I told you to call and that I’ll come pick you up. Just gimme a few minutes to get dressed and grab my shoes and stuff and I’ll be on the way.”

“You sure? I don’t want you driving half asleep and getting hurt, Dean. Don’t come if you’re not okay to drive.”

“I’m awake. I’ll be safe, promise. See you soon.”

“If you’re sure. But be careful, okay?”

“I will.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

Dean hangs up and basically drags himself over to the kitchen sink. Turning the faucet on, he splashes cold water on his face and instantly shocks his system to wake up. After drying his face on a paper towel, he heads back upstairs, changes clothes and grabs his shoes and keys on his way out the door.

To his surprise, he sees Sam slipping on his shoes in the living room. “You’re up early. Where ya headed? Library won’t open for another hour, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Just thought I might go for a run today.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Be good to get out of the house for a while. If you’re up for it, you should stop by the creek after your run.”

Sam shrugs. “I was planning to go to the library after- once I shower.”

“Well, invitation still stands. You should drop by if you want, okay?”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Alright, be safe. See ya later.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean and Cas get to the creek and Adam and Gabe are there.

“Hey guys.” Adam says when he spots them.

“Uh-oh. Is that LOVE I sense in the air?” Gabe says, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning knowingly at them.

Dean blushes. He and Cas are holding hands as they make their way down to the rocks. He didn’t even consider whether they should be worried about other people seeing them like that or not. But Cas seems to be ignoring Gabe and isn’t letting go of his hand, so Dean figures he won’t worry about it.

Cas takes his usual spot, sitting on the large rock on the right side of the creek, taking his shoes and socks off to dip his feet in the water. And Dean takes his newer spot of sitting next to him.

Gabe, already in the water, moves closer to where Dean and Cas are sitting. He leans on his arms against the rock they’re sitting on. “So. What’s new, fellas?” Gabe asks, looking at both boys expectantly.

Looking over for any indication of help for an answer, Dean sees Cas is already writing in his notebook and seemingly focused on it- though he kinda doubts he is actually THAT into it yet. “Uh, not much.”

“Oh, come on, Deano. We’re all friends here, no need to keep secrets.”

Feeling a little guilty for dragging him into it, Dean elbows Cas to get his attention. He’s not sure how Cas feels about the situation and wants to be respectful of how he’d want it handled. Especially considering Gabe was HIS friend first.

“What?” Cas asks, looking up suddenly- first to Dean, then to Gabe. “Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.”

Gabe chuckles. “I was just askin’ what’s new with you two. You know, just trying to catch up.”

“Oh.” Cas says, quickly glancing at Dean before looking back at their friend. He shrugs. “Not much, really.” he looks down, picking at his nails.

“I see.” Gabe says, then he sighs. “Boys, boys, boys.”

“Stop hassling ‘em, babe.” Adam tells him, wrapping his arms around him from behind. “Come back over here with me.” he leans down and kisses on Gabe’s neck.

“Sure.” Gabe says, quickly turning to the other boy. He follows as Adam leads him to the other side of the creek. Gabe sits on the edge of a large rock and Adam, in the water still, moves til he’s standing between the other boy’s knees. What starts out as kissing, rapidly turns into a full blown make-out session.

Dean averts his gaze, lays back and closes his eyes with a deep breath. It doesn’t take long before he feels Cas lay down against him. Shielding his eyes from the sun, Dean looks over and Cas is on his side facing him and grinning. “Hey there, handsome.” Dean says, quietly.

“Sorry, I didn’t really know how to answer.” Cas says, sounding apologetic.

Dean shrugs. “Me either. I, uh...didn’t wanna say anything you wouldn’t want me to. Do they know that you’re, uh…?”

“Yeah.”

“Anybody else know?”

Cas sighs and looks down. “My parents.”

“I take it that didn’t go over well?”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

Dean nods, taking his hand. “What about at school?”

Cas shakes his head. “What about you? Have you, uh...told your brother or your dad?” he asks, looking back at Dean.

Dean sighs. “I don’t really….I guess I don’t know how to bring it up. And I’m kinda scared of how they’ll react. I mean, I know things are getting more ‘progressive’ about that kind of thing, but…” he shrugs, letting his words trail off.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I figured my parents wouldn’t exactly be thrilled, but I was still surprised to see just how badly they reacted when they found out.” Cas says, rolling to lie on his back. “I think most people are still worried how the people close to them will react to them, coming out.”

Dean turns over on his side, to face Cas. “I’m sorry things didn’t go well with your parents.” he tells him, sincerely.

“Me too.”

“You wanna maybe... get outta here? Seems our friends might appreciate some alone time.” Dean says, nodding towards the other two boys.

Cas rolls over to face Dean again. “Where would we go?”

Dean runs his fingers through Cas’ hair. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“Hmmm. I think I know a place.” Cas says, letting go of Dean’s hand and climbing to his feet.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About 20 minutes later, at Cas’ direction, Dean pulls in behind an old closed-down restaurant seemingly in the middle of nowhere. He turns off the engine and looks at Cas.

“I didn’t think there’d be any places like this out here. Everything seems so busy and full of people.”

“It mostly is, but I’ve learned how to avoid the crowds.”

They both unbuckle and Cas gets out. Dean curiously watches him close the door behind him and climb into the backseat. “What’re you doin’?”

“Come ‘ere.” Cas urges.

Still curious, Dean gets out and climbs in on the opposite side in the back.

Cas pulls him close and presses their lips together. “I thought we could have our own make-out session. But I prefer more privacy.” he says, against Dean’s mouth.

“Yeah. We can do that.” Dean readily agrees.

Cas chuckles, then lays back and pulls Dean on top of him.

Burying his fingers in Cas’ hair, Dean holds himself up with the other hand.

Cas has one arm around Dean’s back, while the other hand roams down until it lands firmly against his ass.

Dean gasps.

“This okay?”

“Uh, yeah.” Dean answers quickly, before kissing Cas again.

“You can lay on me, you know. You won’t hurt me.” Cas tells him.

“O-okay.” Dean nervously lowers his body to be fully against Cas’.

Cas spreads his legs apart and Dean’s knees sink into the seat.

After a few minutes, they’re both panting. Their hands roam as they start to rock against each other.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I like this.”

Dean chuckles against Cas’ lips. “Me, too.”

“Feels good.”

Dean hums in agreement, moving to kiss along Cas’ neck.

Cas gasps. “I like you laying like this- on me.”

“This feel good, too?” Dean asks, moving to kiss along Cas’ jaw.

“Y-yeah.”

“Good.”

“Mmm.” Cas pulls Dean firmly against him.

Dean pulls back a little and looks up at Cas, trying to catch his breath. ”Hey, why don’t we take a break.”

Cas looks away. “Yeah, okay.” He kisses Dean again and they both sit up.

“What’dya wanna do now?” Cas asks, shyly.

Dean shrugs. “Wanna just sit back, relax and let me hold you?”

Cas smiles at him and takes his hand. “Yeah.”

“Here, follow me.” Dean says, stepping out. Cas follows him. They both climb up and sit on the trunk, before leaning back. They face each other, arms and legs tangled together.

For the longest time, they just lay quietly. Studying each other’s faces and smiling in between soft kisses and gentle strokes of skin.

Dean is the first to break the silence. “There’s somethin’ I been wantin’ to ask you.” he admits.

“Yeah?”

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

“I...I’ve never had one before.” Cas admits shyly.

Dean shrugs. “Me either.”

“Don’t be mad, but, um...I wouldn’t want to like, hold hands in public or anything. Not because I’m ashamed to be with you or anything, just...you know. People still get bullied and even killed over that kind of thing. People like us, anyway. I’m scared of what might happen.”

Dean runs his fingers through Cas’ hair before kissing him softly. “I get that. I’m scared of that stuff too. Plus, I don’t wanna do anything you’re not comfortable with. Does that mean I’m your boyfriend now?” he smiles.

Cas blushes, hiding his face against Dean’s neck. “I’d like that very much.”

“So...what about our friends? Do we tell them?” Dean asks.

Cas looks up at him grinning. “Might as well. They’ll figure it out anyway. Beside, Gabe's got a big mouth. I'd be surprised if they all don't ALREADY know.” he says, kissing along Dean’s jaw.

“Okay.” he agrees, chuckling. He feels Cas’ mouth move to just below his ear, then down his neck. Cas slips his hands beneath Dean’s shirt and grazes his palms against the skin of his chest. Dean moans, then bites his lip at the marvelous sensations radiating through him when Cas’ fingers move across his nipples. The next thing he knows, his shirt is being pulled up and now Cas is sucking against one while he thumbs over the other. Dean’s breaths turn ragged. Palms and fingers smoothly slide down his body down to the waistband of his jeans and start to slip beneath it. God does Dean want Cas’ hands to continue on their journey but on the other hand...the logical part of his brain says it’s too soon. He lightly grabs Cas’ wrists and stops them.

Cas stops and hovers over him, panting. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then why did you stop me?”

Dean pulls his shirt back down, sitting up. Cas pulls his hands away.

“Are you mad at me?” Cas asks, not looking up.

“No, I’m not mad.”

“Then…oh god, did I do something you didn’t want?” Cas looks like he might cry.

Gently lifting Cas’ chin to look at him, Dean kisses him softly. “No, it’s not that. It’s just... “ Dean shrugs. “too soon. I don’t wanna rush this.”

“Is it because it’s with ME?” Cas asks, averting his eyes.

Dean pulls him close and wraps him in a warm embrace, running his fingers through Cas’ hair. “No, of course not. Not at all, baby. I don’t wanna rush this because you’re special. We have plenty of time for that stuff, so- it can wait.”

Cas pulls back to look at Dean again. “Have you ever...done anything like that before?” Cas asks, hesitantly.

Dean just shakes his head. “You?”

Closing his eyes with a deep breath, Cas doesn’t answer.
Several seconds pass and Cas still hasn’t responded or opened his eyes.

“Cas?” Dean takes his hands. “What’s wrong?” He sees Cas’ eyelids jerk and then teardrops begin to fall. Pulling Cas back against him, he pets his hair. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Please.”

Cas begins to sob and shake. “I’m sorry.” his voice trembles.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Dean tells him with a gentle tone.

“No, I...I wanna talk about it. It’s just hard.” a pause. “But I trust you.”

Those last four words melt Dean’s heart. “I’m here.” he assures him.

Pulling back, wiping his eyes and sniffling, Cas clears his throat. He doesn’t make eye contact and begins shifting and picking his nails. “There was a boy I liked a couple years ago. He was a friend from school, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same about me as I did him. Then he asked me if we could go somewhere and hang out later, so we met after school that night, behind the baseball dugout.” Cas takes a deep breath, closing his eyes again.

Dean takes his hands in his and waits, silently and patiently.

Cas opens his eyes and gulps. “He said he wanted to talk. So, I told him how I felt. That I liked him as more than just a friend. He kissed me...but it didn’t feel right, somehow. And then- he wouldn’t stop.”

Dean’s heart drops into his stomach. ‘oh god.’ he thinks, instinctively rubbing his fingers soothingly across Cas’ knuckles.

“I tried to tell him ‘I don’t want this’, but he wouldn’t listen. He took himself out of his jeans and told me if I really liked him I would...you know. So, I did. I didn’t really know how, and I didn’t WANT to, but... I was afraid of what he might do if I didn’t.” he takes a breath. “He was older and a lot bigger than me. He played football. He forced me to take my pants off, pinned me down…. then I heard him spit.”

“Oh my god, Cas.” Dean hears the words spill from his mouth before he can stop them.

Cas doesn’t respond to Dean’s words, just continues.

“He, um...started to use his fingers. It hurt a lot. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care that I started bleeding. He started being more rough and I panicked and though he might try to do more, so I ended up puking. He stopped everything, jumped up and took off. But not before he told me that I ‘better not tell anyone about this’. He just left me there- lying on the ground, bleeding and covered in my own vomit.”

Dean only just realizes tears are pouring down his own face at this point. He feels sick to his stomach. And he wants to beat the living shit out of whoever that kid is. But he focuses on Cas.

“I, uh...walked back home and my parents asked what happened. I started crying and told them everything.” he looks up at Dean with an unreadable expression and laughs humorlessly. “Do you know what they said to me?”

Dean just shakes his head.

“They told me I should have known something like that would happen since I admitted to him that I’m a perverted, sexual deviant. They told me that I’m disgusting and that I DESERVED what happened. That the boy had carried out God’s righteous anger- his ‘punishment’.

Dean is shaking now, struggling to breathe, hand covering his own mouth. He never thought he’d ever hate someone as much as he hates his father, but Cas’ parents have now effectively been added to the list.

Cas covers his face with his hands and weeps. Dean grabs him and holds him and they both cry together. He pets Cas’ hair gently and just breathes with him. “You didn’t deserve that, Cas. NOBODY does. What he did to you...THAT is what’s disgusting. It’s unforgivable and your parents?!....Baby I’m so sorry. What they said to you is complete and utter bullshit. If that’s the kind of ‘god’ that exists, then fuck him. I’m so sorry, baby. I wish I could take the pain away- go back in time and keep that from happening to you. I’d give anything to save you from that. But all I can do is be here with you. And I am. I’m here. I’ll always be here, Cas. And I swear I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that. I’ll kill them first.” Dean had never even been in a fight before- well, with anyone besides his father- but he knew he’d do whatever it takes to protect Cas from harm.

Chapter Text

Dean and Bobby are eating breakfast when Sam joins them at the table. 

“Morning.” Sam says, pouring himself a glass of orange juice to go with the plate of food already waiting for him.

Bobby looks him over. “Sleep okay?”

“Mhmm.” Sam answers, taking a bite of his eggs.

“Glad to hear it.”

Dean sips his apple juice. “Feel like hanging out today?”

“You goin’ to the creek?” Bobby inquires.

“Nah, not today.” Dean answers, then looks at Sam, waiting for a response.

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Nothin’ specific. We could hang out here, rent some movies or go out and find something else to do. Whatever you want, man.”

“Yeah, okay. Just don’t expect me to suffer through any westerns.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah, okay then. Only chick-flicks then, for the princess?” he teases.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Bobby sighs then chuckles. “Well, I’m glad to see things getting back to normal. Even if you are a coupla idjits.”

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At the video store, despite his promise, Dean heads straight for the westerns. Of course he’s only doing it to annoy his brother. He watches Sam go straight for documentaries and true crime. ‘Sure, he jokes about my obsession with cowboys but what about his obsession with serial killers?’ He walks over to Sam. “Find anything yet?”

Sam glances back before looking back ahead at the selection in front of him. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“Why don’t you try somethin’ different. Why not some good ol’ classic horror?”

“Dean, you know I don’t like horror movies.”

“Ugh. Fine, what about psychological thrillers?”

“Ehhh.”

Dean dramatically growls in frustration.

Sam chuckles.

“Okay whatever just pick something already. How about we each pick one. No westerns and no documentaries. And yes that includes true crime and serial killers.”

“Fine, deal.” Sam reluctantly agrees.

Dean ends up grabbing Roadhouse and Sam picks The Labyrinth. They’ve already seen both movies but Dean’s still glad they’re spending the day together. He’s been really worried about his little brother but like their dad said, things really do seem to be getting back to normal. They stop and grab a couple pizzas on their way home and settle in on either end of the couch to watch Sammy’s movie first- Because Dean’s just nice like that.

“So how’s Cas?” Sam asks, while the previews are still playing.

“Oh, he’s fine.”

“He seems like a good guy.”

“He is.”

“You guys seem close. I’m glad you’ve made some new friends here already.”

“What about you? Met anyone new?”

“Not yet. I’m sure I’ll make some new friends once school starts.”

“Maybe you should try to talk to someone at the library. There’s gotta be some other nerds there.”

Sam shrugs. “Haven’t really been paying attention.”

“Couldn’t hurt, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

The movie starts and their conversation ends as they eat their pizza.

Dean notices Sam smiling and paying attention like it’s the first time he’s seen it. He can’t even bring himself to tease him for his lame taste because he’s just glad to see his brother enjoying something again. ‘I don’t know why he likes this movie so much. It’s really weird, but whatever.’

Once it’s over, Sam takes a bathroom break and Dean goes to grab them each another bottle of water.

“How was the movie?”

Closing the fridge, waters in hand, Dean turns and sees his dad making coffee. He shrugs. “It was alright, I guess. One of Sam’s favorites, so he’s seen it a million times before.”

“Serial Killer documentary?”

Dean laughs. “Believe it or not, we called a truce. No documentaries and no westerns.”

“Wow, which one of you’s dyin?” Bobby teases.

“I just figured I wouldn’t torture him if he wouldn’t torture me. At least not as bad as we could be.”

“So what was the movie?”

“The Labyrinth.”

“Ahh. Yeah, I think I remember seeing bits and pieces of that. Weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So what’d you pick?”

“Roadhouse.”

Bobby chuckles.

“What?”

“What’d Sam have to say about that?”

“He didn’t say anything about it. ‘Course he might after it starts and he gets bored.”

“It’s good to see you boys spending some time together.”

“Yeah, I know. Sammy says he hasn’t made any friends yet.”

Bobby sighs. “Yeah, hopefully that’ll change. I’m surprised he hasn’t met anyone at the library, as much time as he spends there.”

“I told him he should try to talk to someone. He said he hasn’t really paid attention to who’s been there. I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding someone just as nerdy as he is.”

“Ready to start your movie?” Sam calls from the living room.

“Be right there.” Dean answers. His dad smiles at him as he heads back toward his brother.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once the movie starts, it doesn’t take long for Dean to notice Sam getting bored. Bobby had brought them a bowl of popcorn to share just as the previews ended, so Dean throws some at Sam’s head.

“Hey!” Sam says, laughing.

“What?” Dean of course fakes innocence and shushes him. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

A second later popcorn hits the side of Dean’s face. “Quit it!” he says, pretending to be irritated. Waiting a full minute, Sam finally looks away and Dean throws more popcorn into his brother’s hair while still looking straight ahead.

This time Sam doesn’t say anything but laughs and grabs a handful of popcorn this time and throws it at his brother.

“Hey, now you’re just wasting it!” Dean laughs out.

They commence a full out popcorn war. Movie still playing while they each hide behind a piece of furniture trying to avoid being hit, between throwing more at the other. They’re laughing so hard their faces are getting red and suddenly their dad walks in.

It only takes a split second to take in the warzone. “What in the…” Bobby sighs,  and rolls his eyes. “When you’re done, make sure you clean up so we don’t get bugs.” Is all he says, before leaving the room again.

The boys look at each other and burst out laughing again. Eventually they settle down enough to halfway watch the rest of the movie. After it ends, they both clean up the mess and it’s almost time for dinner.

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The next couple weeks are even better. The boys fall back into their teasing and bickering but also having deliberate family time together at home, just the three of them.

Just when it seems things are finally back to normal, the awkwardness begins to creep back in. Sam goes on a walk or a run, stays at the library all day, and their family time dwindles back to almost none.

"Boys, living room!" Bobby calls out.

Dean sits down across from his dad, with Sam a few seconds later joining his brother on the other end of the couch.

Bobby glances at his sons, then speaks. "Look boys, I think we should all sit down and talk. Sam, we're worried about you, son. Is there anything you wanna talk about?"

"What do you mean 'we'? So you two have been talking about me behind my back?"

"Sammy, we just want you to be okay."

"It's SAM." Sam huffs.

"Sorry, you're right. You're not a little kid anymore."

"That's right, I'm not. So could you both just stop treating me like one?"

Bobby sighs. "I'm not tryin' to treat you like a little kid. Just tryin' to look out for my son."

"I'm fine!" Sam answers, clearly irritated. "Is that it? We done now?" He asks, standing from the couch.

Bobby's face hardens, but his tone remains the same. "Not yet. C'mon sit back down."

Sam reluctantly obliges and takes his seat.

"You seem closed off. You're shutting us out, man. Can you blame us for worrying?" Dean chips in.

“You’re clearly NOT fine, Sam. We just want you to talk to us about whatever it is you’re feeling.” Bobby tells him.

Sam rolls his eyes.

“Sam, c’mon. We’re here for you, just talk to us. Please.” Dean pleads. “We just want you to be okay.”

Sam jumps up from his seat. “I’m NOT okay, OKAY?!” he snaps.

Dean’s eyes harden and jumps up too, getting in Sam’s face. “Yeah, we can tell. That’s why were trying to get you to talk to us!”

“Geez, I’m not a baby! I can handle my own life! So both of you just stop acting like I need you to hold my hand every time I’m in a bad mood!” and with than, Sam storms out of the room and runs upstairs, slamming his bedroom door closed behind him.

Bobby sighs. “Well, that went well.”

Dean turns to Bobby, still fuming. “What the hell is his PROBLEM?!”

“I wish I knew. And I wish he’d let us help.”

Dean scoffs. “He’s mad at us because we’re trying to be there for him when he’s clearly going through something? Either that or something’s going on.”

Bobby doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything.

“Complains we’re treating him like a baby but he’s the one throwing a tantrum like a toddler!”

“Let it go, son. He’s doing the best he can. Maybe he’s right, he’s not a little kid anymore so maybe we should trust that if he needs help, he’ll come to us.”

“That’s bullshit! Families are supposed to be there for each other. What if he can’t handle it? What if by the time he realizes it, he’s too stubborn to ask for help?”

“I don’t know, son.” Bobby stands, resting his hands on the tops of Dean’s shoulders. “But whatever comes, we’ll deal with it, and figure it out.” He pulls his hands back.

Dean sighs. “That’s it?”

Bobby shrugs. “That’s pretty much the theme to life. Do what you can, the best you can, figure it out as you go. That’s all any of us can do. I can’t see the future anymore than you can. I don’t know how this is gonna go, but I think we just have to trust that Sam will be okay.”

Dean deflates. “I’m gonna go talk to him.” He takes two steps before Bobby stops him.

“Dean. Just let him be.”

Dean turns, looks at Bobby like he didn’t hear him right.

“I don’t mean stay away from him or ignore him. I just mean, let him come to you if he’s going to, about all this. Besides that… just be his brother.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean reluctantly agrees, heading upstairs. 

Bobby gets up and looks out the window. “Karen, I wish you were here. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to about all this. I’m really worried about Sam, this time. And Dean…" he shakes his head, "He needs to stop trying to mother Sam, and just be his brother. But I also know that's gotta be easier said than done. He was conditioned to be the one who makes sure his brother ate and took a bath and everything when they were still with John. I'm sure it's not something you can just turn off, but I wish I knew how to help him stop believing that his brother is his responsibility. It’s not fair to put parental expectations on himself. He never should have had that put on him. I swear if I ever see that man again, I’ll be the last thing he ever sees.”

---------------------------------------------------

Instead of Sam’s room, Dean goes to his own room and closes the door. Looking through his cds for something to listen to, he just needs something to get him out of his head so he can calm down. To help him stop worrying about his brother.

Dean’s got ACDC’s Back in Black cd in hand, about to put it in his player, when his stomach growls. ‘Dammit.’ He puts the cd in the player, closes the lid back, but then turns it off and heads back downstairs. He makes it to the bottom of the stairs when he hears Sam laughing. Assuming Sam’s feeling better, and that he’s talking to Bobby, Dean continues his path toward the kitchen, but then he catches sight of his brother on the phone.

Hiding around the corner, Dean puts his back against the wall. More laughing, and then “Yeah of course I’ll come by and see you tomorrow. I know, sorry. My family’s been kinda up my ass lately and wanted us to spend time together today.”

Dean scoffs, hurt and pissed. ‘Thought you said you hadn’t made any friends yet. So you’re keeping secrets now.’ He continues listening for a few minutes, finding out that apparently whoever Sam is talking to is some chick named Ruby. ‘So is all this drama lately with his mood swings and pushing us away, is it all because of some girl?’ At that, he doesn’t want to hear anymore. Deciding he’s not that hungry, he goes back up to his room and starts his music.

Chapter Text

The next day, Dean is back at the creek with Cas. Charlie and Jo are there too, flirting and kissing a little in between talking with the other two. Dean’s sure he’d be having a great day if he weren’t distracted. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Sam hiding things and lying to them. ‘What the hell is he doing? He’s only 15 for chrissakes!’

Jo and Charlie stop talking, and they, along with Cas, are looking at something. Dean turns to see what they’re looking at and it’s his dad walking closer to where they are from where he parked.

He immediately assumes the worst. ‘Oh god. John found us. “Dad?” he asks, his stomach sinking.

Bobby doesn’t speak until he gets closer, he’s panting a little when he gets to where they are. “Dean, have you seen Sam?”

“Not since last night. Why, what’s wrong?”

“Well, he’s usually back home by now. Maybe I’m overreacting. I’m sure he’s just lost track of time and is still at the library.”

Dean can’t breathe. He turns to the others, who all have shocked looks on their faces, and are silent. “Can you guys give us a minute?”

Jo is the one who answers. “Yeah, of course.” She grabs Charlie around the waist and Cas’ hand, dragging them both back towards the parking lot. They both follow her without argument.

“What is it?”

Dean can’t bring himself to meet his dad’s eyes. “I heard him talking on the phone yesterday– after he blew up at us.”

“On the phone with who? He said he hadn’t made any friends yet.” Bobby says, but it sounds more like he’s asking for confirmation.

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” Dean agrees.

“Okay, so he did make a friend. Maybe instead of coming straight home after, he decided to stop by their house first.” Bobby rationalizes hopefully.

“Apparently he was talking to some chick named ‘Ruby’. Told her he was sorry, but that his family has been up his ass lately and promised to come see her today.”

Bobby stays silent, nodding, but it’s obvious his brain is busy.

A sudden thought shoots ice into his veins. Dean lowers his voice, glancing up to make sure the others are still out of earshot. “You don’t think John could have-”

“No. Dean, come on. Don’t jump off the deep end, okay? There’s no way he could have found us. Especially not this soon. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m sure everything’s fine and he’ll be home in another hour or two or he’ll call for a ride home.”

“You think?”

Bobby nods. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s all. He met this girl, and he went to her house after the library and he’ll be home in no time.”

Dean isn’t sure who he’s trying to convince more, Dean, or himself. But his dad assures him there’s nothing to worry about. Tells Dean he’s going back home and that he should stay with his friends til he’s ready to come home later.

Dean hugs his dad before he leaves, and then as he hears the engine start up, his friends come back down to the creek. It’s too quiet and everyone is acting weird and it just adds to Dean’s increasingly bad mood.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Cas asks, a little later.

Jo and Charlie are standing in the water, splashing and giggling.

“I…uh.” Dean takes a deep breath and considers it. Finally he shakes his head. “Sorry. It’s….it’s a long story.”

“Okay. Are you okay?”

Tears flood Dean’s eyes at the question, but he fights them back and clears his throat. “No. No, I’m not.” he answers honestly.

“What can I do?” Cas asks. The sincerity in his eyes makes Dean feel guilty for not telling him about everything. Especially since Cas shared the horror stories from his past with Dean.

Dean scoots away, then lays his head in Cas’ lap. Face resting against the top of Cas’ thigh. Then he takes Cas’ hand and places it on his head.

Cas slowly starts carding his fingers through Dean’s hair and watches him close his eyes. Several seconds later, silent tears begin to fall. Cas doesn’t say anything, just keeps doing as Dean asked, hoping to be at least a small comfort to him during whatever is going on.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bobby doesn’t go straight home when he leaves the creek. Instead, he drives straight to the library. Pulling the most recent school picture of Sam out of his wallet, Bobby asks the clerk if he saw him leave.

The clerk shakes his head and says he doesn't recognize him.

Bobby's heart drops. "That can't be right. He comes here every day!"

The guy holds his hands up placatingly. "Sorry, sir. I only started working here this week, but I know I've never seen that boy before ."

Bobby can feel his blood pressure skyrocket.

"Is it possible he came in and you just didn't see him?" Bobby asks, desperate for confirmation he was wrong and Sam hadn't been lying about where he was all week.

"Well, yeah sure."

"Is there any way you can check the security cameras to see?"

"Unfortunately, I don't have access to those. I could make a call to my boss, but I'm not sure what she'll say. She'd have to come down and I'm sure she'll want to talk to you first. Have you talked to the police?"

"No, it hasn't been long enough. He'd have to be gone at least 24 hours before they'd make a report."

"Do you want me to make that call and see what my boss says about the tapes?"

Bobby considers it. 'I told Dean I'd be at home. Plus what if by the time I does all this Sam has been home safe and sound for hours?' He decides against it. "No. I appreciate your help though."

"Sorry I can't help more."

Bobby heads back outside and someone follows him out the door. He turns around and sees a short teenage boy.

"You're looking for Sam?" He asks.

"You know Sam?"

"Well, not really. But we met, and he helped me find the book I was looking for one time.  What makes you think he'd be here?"

"He comes here every day."

"No disrespect, sir, but I've been coming here every day for the past month working on my science project and I haven't seen him."

"Are you sure he couldn't have just come in without you noticing?"

"I'm doing my project on the Brazilian treehopper. The Entemology section isn't far from the door. My guess is, since he's a self proclaimed 'bug lover', he'd be sitting at one of the tables in that area of the library as well."

"Maybe he came in and left before or after you did." Bobby says, knowing he's grasping at straws.

"Not possible. I get here as soon as the doors open and my mom doesn't pick me up until they close."

'Dammit!' Bobby deflates. His anger is outweighed by concern. "Thanks for the information, kid."

Kevin shrugs. "I hope you find him.

Bobby keeps an eye out for Sam on the drive back home. Nothing comes of it, and he gets home with more questions than he started out with. Calling out and checking Sam's room, he finds the place empty. He tells himself there's nothing to do but wait. That Sam will be home eventually. He just isn't sure he believes it.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unsurprisingly to anyone, Dean leaves after two more hours. Usually he stays until just before dark, but it’s not even mid- afternoon yet. Dean tells everyone bye. Cas walks him to the car and they share a lingering kiss. Dean apologizes for the 100th time for leaving early, and Cas assures him that it’s fine. Dean promises to call him tomorrow and rips himself away so he can check to see if Sam is home yet.

Bobby looks even more worried when Dean gets home; though he tries to hide it. When Dean opened the door, Bobby had had both hope and fear in his eyes as he rushed to check if it was Sam. He was noticeably and understandably disappointed when it was only Dean. “No sign of him?” Dean asks, panic increasing by the moment inside him.

“Not yet.”

“Shouldn’t we go look for him, or call the police or something?” he finally blurts out when he can’t take the fake calm anymore.

“Have to wait 24 hours before a person can be reported missing.”

“24 hours?! Anything could happen during that amount of time!”

“I know. But that’s just how it is. They won’t do anything until it’s been that long.”

“Well, we have to do SOMETHING!”

Bobby sighs, “All we can do is wait.”

“Ugh!” Dean groans.

“Yeah, I get it. I’m right there with you.”

“I can’t just stand around watching the clock.” Dean complains.

“My suggestion is to try to find something to do for now. Try to keep your mind busy.”

Dean scoffs. “I’m sure that’s gonna help.”

“Yeah, I know. I feel the same way.”

The sun sets, still no sign of Sam and no phone call to ask for a ride home, either. Bobby starts supper and Dean wants to scream. He knows Bobby is worried to death too, but is trying to put on a brave face for Dean. He’s not upset at his dad, he just hates this waiting. ‘Why the hell do the police have to wait 24 hours before the police will help try to find someone?! What about the little kids who get snatched up by a random pedophile? They’re really not gonna even START trying to find a six year old that’s been missing over an hour?! They could be halfway across the country, or hell even smuggled OUT of the country in that time, depending on where they are!’

“Supper’s ready.” Bobby announces, fixing both their plates as Dean sits at the table.

Neither of them do much more than push the meatloaf and mixed vegetables around on their plate. Too worried, anxious, and stressed to eat.

The hours pass, time ticks away in a silent eternity as they wait for the phone to ring, or the front door to open. Eventually, physical tiredness pulls at them both. Dean sits at the kitchen table, wordlessly just staring at the clock on the wall.

Bobby carries his desk chair over by the front door and takes a seat. Silently he prays to whatever god will listen, that Sam gets home safely. He can’t help but remember how little the boys were when he brought them home with him. Tortures himself with second guessing his parenting choices that led up to this moment.

Dean’s voice is what ends up waking Bobby from the sleep he hadn’t planned for. “Dad, wake up. Sam’s home.” He jumps up and rushes to Sam, crushing him in a hug. His thoughts are frantic. He doesn’t know what to ask first. If this was any other circumstance, he would have noticed the distinct smell of alcohol on Sam’s breath as soon as he got close.

Sam barely starts speaking when he takes off through the living room. He doesn’t even make it halfway before puke erupts violently from his body, bringing him to his knees.

It suddenly clicks in Bobby’s mind, and his anger is back. Dean worriedly makes a move to go to his brother, but Bobby puts his arm up to stop him. When he looks at Bobby curiously, and Bobby explains that he isn't sick, he's hungover. Now Dean is furious and screaming, but Bobby sends him to bed.

Stowing his anger for now, Bobby takes a few deep breaths to calm down before he walks over to Sam. With a hand on his back, Bobby helps him stand. He doesn’t miss the way Sam flinches when he first touches him.

Once he gets Sam into bed, Bobby fills a glass with water, grabs two tylenol and leaves it all on Sam’s dresser beside his bed. Then he checks on Dean, still awake, he tells him he loves him and that he’s going to bed and that he’ll see him in the morning.

In his bedroom with the door closed, Bobby breaks down. Sobs wrack his body and there’s so much to try and process. Anger that Sam lied, that he was somewhere unknown for hours and hours, that he was drinking while underage, that he made them worry like crazy. All the pent up worry and fear from not letting it out all day, not allowing himself to stop focusing on being strong. The relief of knowing Sam is safe, he’s okay, finally having him back home again. Worry again, thinking of all the things that could have happened. Bobby feels like he almost lost one of his sons, today and he does his best to let it all out as quietly as possible. ‘Why did he say he hasn’t made any friends when he has? Why didn’t he just say he was going to a friend’s house? What the hell made him start drinking? His biological father’s an alcoholic, why would he even take the chance?!’ But most of all he just wants to know what the hell is going on with his kid, turning him from an honor student who enjoys long hours of studying at the library and learning about bugs, and watching documentaries, to…someone Bobby doesn’t recognize. Above all else, that’s what really scares him.

Chapter Text

Dean falls asleep that night, pissed. It takes him forever to actually fall asleep because he has to force himself to calm down first. ‘What the hell is goin’ on with that kid?! I know he’s a teenager, but that’s no excuse! I’m a teenager too, hell almost a legal adult and you don’t see ME going out and doing stupid shit like that.’ He can’t help but feel like it serves Sam right to be puking his guts out right now. Hopes that maybe that’ll teach him better than to touch that shit.

Bobby barely sleeps at all. Despite the fact that Sam did make it home safely, he’s still a nervous wreck about all the unanswered questions and what if’s running through his mind. The first thing he does after he forces himself to get out of bed, knowing he wouldn’t get any more sleep than he has already- just a few hours, is go to the bathroom, then wash his hands and go straight to the kitchen to make coffee. 

He sits silently at the kitchen table, alone as the sun rises, sipping from his mug every so often. Once he’s on his third cup, he carries it to his desk instead, and starts sorting through all the important papers in the filing cabinet. The sale papers for the garage and house, the deed and other legal paperwork regarding this house, his living will, the boys’ birth certificates, social security cards and so forth and so on.

It’s a little under an hour later that there’s footsteps descending the stairs, and then Sam comes into view a minute later, not making eye contact. Bobby diverts his eyes and continues his sorting as Sam takes his empty glass to the kitchen. Surprisingly Sam actually comes straight to his dad, once he’s done in the kitchen.

Bobby tells him they’re going for a drive and sends Sam upstairs to get his driver’s permit, while he grabs the keys to the mustang. Dean catches Bobby before he walks out the door, eyeing Bobby curiously. He doesn’t say a word, but his eyes are bloodshot and he’s sipping on his own coffee.

“We’ll be back in a bit.” Bobby tells him.

Bobby really had done his very best to make sure he wasn’t going to yell. Way more concerned than angry, he made sure to talk to Sam calmly and rationally. Everything seemed like it was going to be okay, right up until Sam’s bold face lie straight to his dad’s face. Not only that, he was trying to shift the blame to Dean, claiming he’s the one who’s lying.

Bobby did end up yelling, but only after all that and then Sam having the nerve to act surprised that he’s grounded after what he pulled. The fight ended with Sam running up to his room, slamming and locking his door– which to be honest is his new thing, and it was already getting old. There’s no way Dean didn’t hear their argument from upstairs. But Bobby is thankful Dean waited til the yelling stopped to come down.

“What happened?” Dean asks.

“Sam’s grounded.”

“Well, I sure hope so! Did he give whatever his dumbass reason was for drinking in the first place?”

“No, he didn’t.”

“So what do we do now?”

“You’ll have to try to figure out for yourself what it’s gonna take for you to trust him again and to forgive him. As for me, I'm gonna have to do the same but I also think I’m gonna have to be more strict. I’ve tried so hard to be nothing like my father- he was like a drill sergeant and I was afraid of him. I never want you boys to be afraid of me. Not like that. Now, it’s normal to be afraid of getting in trouble and not wanting to be or enjoying being grounded or kept from your friends. I gotta say I didn't see this coming."

"Me either. I never would have thought he would be the kind to start messing with alcohol. Especially with our history. I swear, it feels like I barely recognize my own brother!"

"I know, son. I feel the same way. I don't like this, but if he won't let us in we can't help. The worst part is its up to him. If Sam doesn't wanna talk, we can't make him."

"We could try."

Bobby chuckles at that, and Dean gives him a confused look. "What?"

As stubborn as you both are, would trying to force you to talk work on you ?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

**************

On third day of Sam’s grounding, Dean tries to talk to him. He gets back from the creek that day and stops by his brother’s room to drop of his newly requested library books, knocking on the door.

Sam says “Come in”, with thinly veiled annoyance, but Dean ignores it and enters anyway. He sets the books down on Sam’s dresser and then leans his hip against the door frame.

“Can we talk?”

Sam scoffs, “What, now you’re going to give me a lecture too?”

Dean takes a deep breath before answering, “No, I’m here to talk. What’s up with you lately, man? I mean, drinking and disappearing and then lying to dad about it? This isn’t like you. You know you can talk to me, right?”

Sam deadpans, “Yeah, you’re right. This doesn’t sound like the beginning of a lecture at all.”

“I’m serious, what’s with you lately?”

“Nothing.”

“Bull! Something’s up. Is it about that Ruby chick I heard you talking to? Also, thought you didn’t make any friends yet.”

“She’s not a friend,” he answers, grinning mischievously. 

“Just what I figured, some girl comes along and suddenly you’re acting all different.”

“That’s not what this is!” Sam protests.

“Yeah? Because that’s exactly how it seems. Things were getting better until you met her and immediately started lying to everyone.”

“This has nothing to do with her. This is just me.”

“No it’s not, I know better. You don’t do stuff like this. You wouldn’t. This is because of some little skank-”

Sam jumps up and rushes over to his brother, shoving him backwards by his shoulders. “Don’t you say that about her! You don’t know anything about her!” he threatens.

“I know I don’t like her and she’s not good for you. What else matters?!”

“Don’t talk about her like that!” He shoves Dean again.

“Or what?” Dean challenges, puffing out his chest, getting tired of being shoved.

“How about I make you shut your mouth?!”

“Oh really? You’re some big man, now? News flash, Sammy, you’re barely fifteen and I could lift you over my head without breaking a sweat.” he boasts, shoving Sam backwards. “You wanna start something, go right ahead. I’m right here. Start swinging if you think you’re so tough,” he keeps egging him on and shoves him again, harder this time.

Sam takes a swing, but Dean ducks and tackles his brother to the floor. They’re wrestling and groaning, pissed and running their mouths when they hear their dad on the stairs mere seconds before he’s pulling them apart.

“Break it up! Now! Stop it! Now, somebody tell me what the hell’s going on!”

“Dean won’t stay out of my business, that’s what!”

“You’re goddamn right I won’t! Not when you’re letting some girl change you!”

“She’s not changing me, I am! You ever think maybe I’m capable of making my own decisions?!”

“Then you’re an idiot!”

“Good thing it’s none of your business then!”

“Of course it is!”

“That’s enough!”

“Take it back, Dean. Take back what you said about Ruby!”

“No!”

Bobby cocks his brow, looking at Dean expectantly, “What did you say about her, Dean?”

“Yeah Dean, what did you say?”

Dean has the decency to look ashamed of himself as he mumbles, “I called her a skank.”

Bobby shakes his head with obvious disappointment, “Neither of you boys are making very good choices at the moment, it seems. Dean, apologize for what you said.”

“He shoved me!”

Sam, apologize for shoving your brother.”

They both mutter weak apologies and Bobby gives them both a firm look. Dean, you’re grounded too. 

“What?!”

“You know better than to get into fights, but especially with your brother.”

“Ha, ha.”

“And you, there’s no excuse for what Dean said, but still the same goes for you about no fighting. And because you started it, you’ve got another two weeks added to yours.”

“But that’s not fair!” both boys complain in unison, then look to each other and then back to Bobby.

“Yeah? Well, tough shit! Sometimes life ain’t fair! That’s your punishment, so I suggest you don’t make it any worse for yourselves.”

Chapter Text

School is starting and for the first week, neither boys can do anything not school related. Thank goodness it’s a short week, at least. None of it serves to take away anything from Dean's anger at his brother. At least he gets to see Cas at school, but he isn't sure if Cas wants anyone to know they're together, so he keeps his distance at least in the way of refraining from taking his hand or putting his arm around him or trying to kiss him. None of those prove easy to steer clear of, since they'd gotten so used to being physically affectionate over the summer.

But Dean sneaks little pinky touches when their hands are out of sight and winks when he's sure nobody can see Cas, only him. He doesn't want to cause Cas any trouble with bullies after all. The poor guy's been through enough already. His blood boils just thinking about anyone trying to put their hands on his boyfriend, though. He could definitely take care of them for Cas, but again he doesn't want to overstep any boundaries.

************

The first three days of school go pretty quick and there isn’t any homework yet. But then the first full week is a long drawn out borefest of Geometry, Biology 2, English Literature and World History, with no reprieve after school lets out until that Friday when Dean’s grounding is finally up.

Jo is the first to greet Dean on his first time back at the creek that first weekend after school. “There you are, stranger.”

“Thought you’d traded us in for some cooler friends, at school,” Charlie teases with a shoulder bump.

“Of course not,” Dean insists, walking straight over to Cas and pecking his cheek before taking his place beside him.

“Welcome back, handsome,” Cas whispers in his ear, taking his hand.

“Awwww.” Gabe and Charlie both coo at Dean and Cas’ first real show of affection in front of their friends.

“Leave ‘em alone, babe. How did you like it when everyone did that for us every time we kissed for months?” Jo asks Charlie.

“But that was different, this isn’t us,” Charlie insists.

Everyone chuckles at that.

Meg finally chimes in, “Alright, alright, show’s over. No more excitement about someone being all kissy-face with their boyfriend or girlfriend, okay? It’s time for that little tradition to die anyway.”

Gabe sticks his tongue out at her and she rolls her eyes. “Be careful where you put that thing, you may not always get it back,” she warns. Gabe’s face falls, “buzzkill.”

“Ahh my favorite nickname,” she teases.

**********

After Bobby knocks several times on Sam’s bedroom door with no answer, he finally comes in anyway. The door is unlocked, bed unmade but empty, window open and light blue curtains blowing in the slight breeze and the ladder standing just outside the window ledge.

Bobby sighs tiredly, shaking his head and walks back downstairs. He enters the kitchen and Dean is there eating a sandwich. “What’re you doin’ home? Thought you’d be at the creek all day?

“Nah, I got to see everyone but I’ve got a lot of homework to catch up on. Figured I’d get started tonight, then take a break tomorrow enough to go back and then finish it up and have all day Sunday to do whatever.”

“Ah, okay. That’s responsible of you. You seen your brother?”

Dean looks up at him with knitted brows. “He’s not in his room?”

Bobby clicks his tongue. “Nope. Left the window open too- curtains flapping in the breeze.”

“Ah dammit Sammy.” Dean mutters, shaking his head. “If I had to guess he’s with that girl- Ruby. If you ask me, she’s nothing but trouble. All this started when he met her.”

“Now Dean, you don’t know that. Don’t go blaming all this on her, Sam’s old enough to start making his own decisions and mistakes.”

“That’s bullshit, Dad. You know as well as I do this girl is trouble. Sam wouldn’t do any of this until he met her.”

“Alright, you have a point that she might be a bad influence, but we don’t know that. Neither of us have met the girl and we’re not gonna be the kind of people who just blame the girl for everything. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it. Sorry, it’s just Sam isn’t acting like himself anymore and I don’t like it.”

“I can’t say I’m too thrilled with it either, but he’s a teenager going through the same hormone overdose we all do at that age. His brain and body are going through a developmental surge and things get complicated.”

“Yeah I know, but when I was his age I didn’t start acting like someone else did I?”

Bobby shrugs, “You didn’t get in trouble like he is right now, but everyone’s different. Anyway, just let me be the parent and I’ll handle the best way I can. No offense, son, but sometimes you try to be his parent and it’s not your responsibility. I don’t want you putting so much on your shoulders, okay? Other people aren’t your responsibility- even Sam. Not until or unless you have kids of your own someday.”

Dean nods, then finishes his last few bites in silence. Once done eating, he takes his plate to the sink, washes it and sets it to dry before heading up to his bedroom.

Bobby rubs his hand over his face and sighs, sitting down across from where Dean was just sitting. “Goddammit.”

**********

Sam sneaks in hours later, then comes downstairs like everything’s normal, grabbing a soda from the fridge like he’s just been in his room studying this whole time. Dean glares at him, looking up from his homework at the table just to say, “Studying hard, huh?”

Sam gulps down a drink of his soda and then nods, “Yep.”

“How is it going, Sam? Need any help? Why don’t you bring your books down here and we can study together?”

“Nah, I’m done for the day I think.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t wanna overwork your brain or something.”

Sam’s eyes narrow at his brother and then their dad walks in, crossing his arms across his chest and jaw clenching. “Where’d you go this time?” he asks straight up.

“What’dya mean?” Sam has the nerve to play dumb.

“I checked on you earlier and saw the empty room, open window and the ladder leaned against the house so you could climb down from your window. Now cut the shit, I wanna know where the hell you went.”

Sam scoffs, “I just went ‘out’ for a while, okay?” he replies snarkily, setting his soda on the table beside Dean’s History book.

Bobby takes a deep breath before dropping his arms down to his sides. “Sit down.”

“Make me!”

Dean looks at his little brother horrified at the situation he’s making for himself. He’s about to tell Sam he needs to show their dad some fucking respect, when Bobby walks forward and presses down on Sam’s shoulders, forcing him to sit in the chair across from Dean at the table.

“Hey, what the hell?!” Sam protests, glaring up at Bobby with a ‘how dare you’ look in his eyes.

“I told you to sit.”

“Yeah? And I’m not a dog!”

“Dean take your stuff and finish studying upstairs. Your brother and I need to have a talk.”

Dean grabs his things obediently and carries them upstairs to his room, shutting the door so he can’t overhear what’s being said. He hates how Sam is acting, and wants to help, because he’s definitely on their dad’s side here, but he knows like dad said, Sam isn’t his responsibility.

*********

“Just what the hell is with all this attitude, Sam?”

Sam sighs, annoyed but stays silent otherwise.

“I’m so sorry if his highness is being bothered by me trying to be your parent, but that’s just too damn bad. You live in my house, you will go by my rules. That car can go back, you know? Don’t think Donny won’t take her back in a heartbeat.”

Sam shrugs, “Take it back, see if I care.”

“And you can kiss your driver’s license that you haven’t even got yet goodbye.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Bet me. You wanna keep this new ‘my shit don’t stink’ attitude and you think you can do whatever you want, then that’s what it’ll get you.”

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“How is it ridiculous to want to know where the hell my kid was for over 12 hours and wanting my kid to then NOT lie to my face about where he’s been? I told you before, I’m just trying to keep you safe and make sure you’re okay. That’s what a parent does. It’s my job to do the best I can to help you in whatever ways I can. I get that you’re a teenager, but here lately it seems like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“Yeah well, too bad. This is just me, you and Dean will have to get used to it.”

“Then get used to walking and being in trouble a lot. And like I said, say goodbye to the license you haven’t even gotten yet.”

“Whatever.”

Bobby growls under his breath with frustration and sends Sam back upstairs.

“I haven’t eaten dinner yet,” Sam protests.

“Fine then, grab something and take it upstairs with you.” He doesn’t wait for Sam to go back upstairs before he goes outside and puts the ladder in the building and locks it with his padlock. He stuffs the key to it in his pocket, satisfied and goes back inside to fix himself and Dean something for dinner.

Chapter Text

Dean goes into the bathroom during History class and finds an unlocked stall, and pushes the door to walk in when he notices someone inside. Not just someone, but Cas and he’s bleeding!

“Cas?!” Dean says, pushing back into the door and walking in to see a plain razor blade in his hand and his inner thigh dripping blood as well as the blade. A quick scan also reveals bruises all along his inner thighs- deep purple ones that look brand new.

Cas startled, looks up and slams the door closed, forcing Dean out of the stall.

“Cas, what’s going on?”

Cas sighs, takes a few minutes to readjust his clothes and then comes out to wash his hands.

"Uh, Cas what the hell?" Dean repeats.

"It's nothing, Dean. Don't worry about it. Please."

"How can you say don't worry about it?! And what about those bruises?"

"Shhh!"

"Cas, c'mon what's going on?"

Drying off his hands, Cas sighs again, then turns to look at Dean. "Can we not do this here and now?" he whispers.

"Fine, after school, meet me in the parking lot. I'll give you a ride home and you can explain then."

Okay, fine. But Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't say anything about this to anyone okay?"

"How can you ask me that?"

"Please?"

Dean sighs, "Fine, I promise."

"Thanks."

*********

After school, Cas is waiting at baby just like Dean asked him to and they get in when Dean unlocks the doors. He starts the engine but then doesn't move to do anything else until Cas starts talking.

"So?"

Cas clears his throat. "My parents hit me sometimes, Dean. Nobody knows."

"Except me."

"Except you now, since I apparently forgot to lock the damn door."

"Well, I'm glad you did. What the hell were you doing to yourself?"

"I have a feeling you already know the answer to that,"

"I want you to say it."

"I was hurting myself.”

“But why would you do that?”

“Sometimes things seem so out of control that I want SOMETHING of my own that is only in MY control. So, that's what I do when it gets bad."

"And things are bad now." It's not a question, but Cas answers anyway.

"Yes. As you could tell from the fresh bruises."

“They shouldn’t be doing that to you, Cas. They have no right to treat you like that!”

“It seems they can treat me however they want. I’m their kid- they own me.”

“They don’t own you Cas, you’re not property!”

“You said you’d take me home,” Cas says, gesturing to the car in general and bringing Dean’s attention to the fact that nearly everyone has left and they’re still sitting still.

“I will. We need to come up with a plan. Something needs to be done to stop them from doing this to you.”

Cas laughs humorlessly, “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone, remember? Or are you already breaking your promises?”

“Cas, you HAVE to tell someone!”

“No, I don’t. I have to get home. Please take me home, Dean,” he says so calmly like none of this is happening.

This whole situation is infuriating to Dean and he wishes he hadn’t made that promise. But he takes Cas home and Cas doesn’t say a word to him the whole way and even when he hops out of the car, he just wordlessly goes inside like Dean’s the one who did something wrong.

**********

Bobby keeps eyeing Dean all through dinner, but doesn’t ask if Dean’s upset. It’s obvious something’s bothering him, but just like with Sam, Dean will have to come to him himself when he wants to talk.

It’s Dean’s night to do the dishes and he does them quickly and silently as if lost in thought.

Bobby watches worriedly and finally can’t stop himself when Dean is about to head up the stairs toward his bedroom. “You know you can talk to me, right? If something’s bothering you, I’m here for you,” he assures.

Dean puts on a fake smile and nods, “Yeah, I know. Thanks, dad,” he replies, continuing on his way.

Sam finishes his food in silence and then leaves his plate and glass on the table as he stomps away back to his bedroom.

Bobby sighs. It seems something is up with both his boys and neither one wants to talk about it. ‘Am I doing something wrong?’

********

‘Why would someone want to hurt themselves?’ Dean wonders, still picturing the blood dripping off of the sharp blade in Cas’ hand from earlier. He wishes he could talk to someone about it, but he promised he wouldn’t. ‘But isn’t this the kind of thing that NEEDS to be told?’ he wonders to himself. He’s especially worried about the bruises and just how dark they were.

He goes downstairs after a couple hours and decides to call Cas.

Thankfully Cas is the one who answers. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Are you okay?”

Cas sighs, “I’m fine, Dean. Please just let it go.” *click*

Dean takes the phone from his ear and looks at it, wondering if Cas really just hung up on him. The dial tone that comes seconds later confirms it.

********

All through the rest of the week, Cas ignores Dean and refuses to talk to him. Dean wonders what he did wrong, when all he’s done is worried about Cas’ health and safety. The end of the day Friday he catches Cas starting his walk home and yells to him.

Cas turns around and doesn’t look too thrilled to be looking at Dean right now. “What do you want, Dean?” He says, obviously annoyed.

“What do I want?! I want you to talk to me! What did I do wrong?”

“I just need some space, okay?”

“Space?” Dean repeats.

“Yeah, I need some time to think about things.”

“Between us, you mean?”

Cas sighs, “Not everything is about you or us.”

“Okay fine! I’ll leave you alone then. I just thought as my boyfriend you’d want to have something to do with me all week instead of ignoring me.”

“I can’t do this right now, Dean. I told you I need space, and I mean it.”

“Then why didn’t you just say so before now?”

“I’m leaving now,” Cas announces as he turns and continues on his way.

Dean growls in frustration and turns back toward the parking lot.

“What was that about? Lover’s spat, queer?” A kid from Dean’s grade who he’s seen around but has no classes with, stands there in front of him, blocking his path with crossed arms. He’s got two friends on either side of him, who are just standing and watching.

“What’s it to ya?” Dean mouths off, not impressed or intimidated by this asshole or his buddies.

“I don’t like queers and it seems like you and your boyfriend are having a little spat.”

“Neither of those things are any of your business,” Dean answers, nonchalantly.

“See, I think it IS my business, QUEER.”

Dean rolls his eyes, but before he can come up with another snarky comeback, a fist hits him in the gut and then he’s on the ground being hit repeatedly in the face and stomach. The hits are coming too fast for Dean to try to fight back or even react to each individual one. The pain is getting to be much too much when he hears a police siren and the other guys try to run off.

Dean can barely see, but he’s being helped up and being put in the back of one of the police cars. The other guys got away it seems, except for the main boy who attacked Dean and he’s being escorted into the back of the other police car in handcuffs.

Once Dean is safely in the back of the police car, the woman turns around and looks him over. “Can you tell me where you live, kid? What’s your name?”

Dean Winchester. And I live on 643 Oak Street.”

“Good. Now can you tell me what happened?”

That kid, I don’t know who he is, someone in my grade, came up and called me names and then just attacked me with a few of his friends.”

“Can you tell me what kind of names he called you?”

“He, uh… he called me a ‘queer’ and then just came at me.

“I see. Well, then this is a hate crime which makes this even more serious since that kid- Brad Devereaux, is already a legal adult.”

“What’s gonna happen to him?” Dean asks, knowing it’s only kind of his business to know.

“He’s going to jail and since he has a string of harassment and violent arrests against him from when he was a juvenile- it won’t look good. A judge will decide what the best course of action is.”

“What’s gonna happen to me?”

“First I’m taking you home, talking to your parents about what happened and then hopefully you’re going to be checked out at the nearest hospital just to make sure nothing’s broken and you aren’t injured too badly.”

“Sounds good. I’m in a lot of pain and my nose is bleeding. Think it might be broken,” Dean agrees.

“Yeah, your left eye is already swelling shut, but I think mostly you’re just going to be covered in bruises. Of course, I’m no doctor. My name's Jody- Jody Mills, and I'm the sheriff here."

Chapter Text

Jody takes Dean back home and when they pull into the driveway, Bobby is standing out front, wringing his hands and runs over to the car when he spots Dean in the backseat bleeding.

“What the hell happened here?!” Bobby demands.

“Hello, sir, I’m Sheriff Jody Mills and it appears your son has been the victim of a hate crime.”

Bobby looks at her confused. “A hate crime?”

“The other boy, a legal adult, called him some names and then attacked him.” Jody explains.

Jody opens Dean’s door and Bobby crouches down beside Dean, looking him over. “Oh my god.”

“I’ll be okay, dad.”

“Like hell you will, are you sure there was only one other boy involved?” Bobby asks Jody.

“Actually there were two other boys, but they ran off before we could catch ‘em.”

“I wanna press charges.” Bobby declares.

“I don’t blame you. Even if you didn’t, with the kid’s string of run-ins with the law, plus since he’s of legal age now, I doubt he’ll be getting off easy.”

“Good!”

*********************

Once at the hospital, the doctor confirms Dean has a broken nose, and bruised ribs.

Bobby is livid and swearing up and down he’ll do whatever he can to make that other boy’s life hell for what he’s done.

When they’re on their way back home, Bobby asks the questions Dean had been dreading.

“What names did he call you, son?”

Dean sighs, not wanting to talk about it, but also knowing his dad won’t just let it go, either. “He called me a queer. Me and Cas got in an argument today after school and the kid said it sounded like a lover’s spat and that he didn’t like queers.” he explains, wondering how his dad will react.

“Even if you were gay, it’s none of HIS business and he has no right to treat you or anybody else that way. You KNOW that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. He’s just some homophobic asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone. But according to Jody, he’ll get his punishment for this.”

“Damn right he will! I’ll make sure of it.”

“Dad…you’re not mad at me?”

“Mad at YOU? Why on earth would I be mad at YOU?”

Dean gulps, closing his eyes. He needs to get this out. “I like boys, dad.”

Bobby doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, but then his hand is on Dean’s knee. “There’s nothing wrong with that, son.” Is all he says, and then his hand is gone, back on the steering wheel.

Huh. Dean had expected…something. He’s not sure what, but not that. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, surely not anger but just plain acceptance? Tears start to pour from Dean’s eyes because his dad literally doesn’t give a fuck that he likes boys. He doesn’t even want to think about what John’s reaction would have been to that, but he knows it wouldn’t have been pretty. Actually now that he thinks about it, he thinks his dad would have taken that boy’s side and said Dean got what he deserved. Well, fuck him.

When they get back home, Sam comes out seemingly worried about whatever had them gone for hours. Dean is surprised Sam even noticed they were gone.

“What happened to you?” Sam asks, worriedly when Dean steps out of the car.

“What does it look like?” Dean retorts, knowing he’s being a smart ass and not caring one bit.

“I hope the other guy looks worse than you.” Sam says, opening the front door for Dean.

“Yeah? What do you care?” Dean asks, shoving past him and heading upstairs to his bedroom.

Dean’s first instinct is to want to call Cas and let him know what happened, but Cas had said he needed space. So instead, Dean just turns on his music and lays on his bed and thinks about Cas and wishes again that he hadn’t made that promise.

**********************

“What was that about?” Sam asks Bobby.

“Your brother was attacked today after school, that’s what happened.”

“Attacked by who?”

“Some little asshole who’s of legal age. Don’t worry he got arrested and won’t be getting out of this unscathed.” Bobby assures him.

“Wait, some legal adult attacked Dean? But why?”

“That’s up to your brother to tell you or not, son.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean just what I said. It’s your brother’s business to tell you or not the reason why he was attacked.”

Sam’s brows knit together. “I don’t understand.”

“You don’t HAVE to understand. If you have any homework, you should get upstairs do it.”

“But-”

“No argument, Sam, please. It’s been a long day, please just do your homework.” Bobby pleads.

Sam swallows, then nods. “Yeah, okay.” he agrees, heading upstairs.

******************

The next day at school, Dean struggles through his barely usable left eye to focus on school work throughout the day. Thankfully the doctor prescribed him some pain meds and they’d gotten them filled before he came to school a little late this morning. 

People are staring at Dean all day and nobody bothers to ask what happened, until lunch.

“Oh my god! What happened?!” he hears Jo ask, as she makes her way over to him.

“Can we talk about it privately?” he whispers.

“Sure,” she answers, sitting beside him and leaning in for him to whisper in her ear.

He whispers the same story he’d told his dad and Jo’s eyes go wide in shock.

“Oh my god! He was an adult?” she whispers back.

“According to the Sheriff, yeah.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s going to jail! You need to make sure you rat out his friends too, if they’re not already in trouble.”

Dean nods in agreement. “I haven’t seen them all day, so I think they already are.”

“Good!”

*********************

Dean’s eyes meet Cas’ later on in the bathroom mirror and Cas’ face drops and he turns to Dean. Then he checks to make sure there are no other people in the stalls, and locks the bathroom door and walks back over to Dean, gently cupping his face in his hands.

“What the hell happened?” he asks, softly.

Dean tells the story again and Cas begins to cry.

“Why are you crying, Cas?”

“Because this is my fault.”

“What? No, it’s not. It’s not your fault and it’s not mine either. That kid is just an asshole.”

Cas is sniffling and shaking his head as tears fall down his cheeks. “No, they saw us together and saw us having that argument. They knew.”

Dean takes Cas’ hands in his. “Fuck, Cas I swear this isn’t your fault, okay?” 

“This is what I was worried about, Dean. I was worried about one of us ending up getting hurt. See? I told you I’m not good for you.” he explains, pulling away from Dean’s hands.

“Cas don’t…”

Cas just shakes his head. “It’s over, Dean. It’s better this way.” he says, unlocking the door and walking out.

Chapter Text

The following day Bobby comes into Sam’s bedroom to give him his prescription medicine refill while he’s at school. He sets the bottle on Sam’s desk and then he stops and thinks, ‘Has Sam really been taking his meds?’

He decides to check for himself. He starts opening Sam’s drawers of his desk and the second one down he finds several full pill bottles in there and sighs. ‘Dammit, boy. Why does he lie to me?’

Shaking his head, he closes the drawers back and leaves the new pill bottle on the desk for Sam and closes his door back.

He decides to call and ask Sam’s therapist about how things are progressing in their sessions. She says she can’t give him any details but all that she can say is that Sam doesn’t seem to be opening up anymore. He’s not being genuine in their sessions, acts like everything’s fine but it’s obvious that isn’t true.

He busies himself around the house with chores until the boys get home. Once Sam and Dean get home from school, he asks Sam to come talk to him in his office.

“What is it?” Sam asks with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Sam, I know you haven’t been taking your pills. I just wanna know why. And why you’ve been lying about it.” Bobby says bluntly.

Sam scoffs, laughing humorlessly and shaking his head. “You’ve been what, searching my room?”

“It’s a good thing I did, or I never would have known you’ve been lying about your meds.” Bobby argues.

“So, just because you were right about something means its okay to just invade my privacy?!”

“I’m worried about you, Sam. I wouldn’t have to invade your privacy if you were telling the truth or you’d just TALK to me!”

“That’s no excuse! You’re not even going to acknowledge that what you did was wrong, are you?”

Bobby rubs his temples. “Sam, come on I’m dying here. Please give me a break. I just need you to be honest with me.”

Sam’s arms drop back down to his sides. “Fine, you want honesty? I’m honestly sick of all your shit and I’m leaving. And don’t you dare call the cops on me or I’ll tell them all about how you’re not our legal guardian and YOU’LL be the one in trouble!”

“What the hell’s gotten into you, boy?!”

Sam shakes his head, “I’m done here,” he says, walking straight out the front door.

Bobby runs after him, but Sam starts running at full speed and Bobby can’t keep up. He runs back to the car, starting it up and heading back the direction Sam went, but it’s no use. He rides around for hours and never sees Sam, so he eventually goes back home and does the only thing he knows to. He waits at home, hoping Sam will show back up once he’s calmed down but if not, he’ll do the only thing he knows to do- call the police and file a missing person’s report.

******************

Dean is pacing around the house worried sick about Sam, but knowing there’s nothing more they can do but either wait for him to come back home or file a report once it’s been 24 hours. He’s still pissed at him, but of course he wants the kid home and safe more than anything.

He watches Bobby and it’s obvious he’s worried to death about Sam too. He tries to busy himself with chores, but it’s just busy work and the minutes on the clock still seem to take hours to pass by.

Once it starts getting dark, Dean’s dam breaks and he runs upstairs, crying into his pillow. Cursing Sam for running off like this but also praying to whatever deity might listen, that he’ll get home safely and soon. Once he wipes his tears away, he heads back downstairs and finds Bobby rifling through papers in his office.

He decides it’s better to break a promise than to wait til it’s too late for help to be given. So, he takes a deep breath and speaks up. “Bobby, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s not about me, and I know right now we’re focused on finding Sam, but I have to tell someone. It’s what’s been bothering me lately.”

Bobby looks up at him and stops what he’s doing, setting the papers down. “Okay, what is it?”

“It’s about Cas.”

“What about him? Is he alright?”

Tears start to fall again, without Dean’s permission but he just ignores them and continues. “His parents hit him. I saw the bruises the other day to prove it.”

Bobby’s eyes go wide. “That’s a serious accusation, Dean. Are you sure that’s really what’s going on?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, I’m sure. Cas made me promise not to tell anyone, but I can’t keep it a secret anymore. There’s just so much going on, I can’t do it.”

Bobby nods. “You did good, by telling me. After we get Sam back home and safe, we’ll worry about Cas okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks, dad.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. You care about his boy, he’s your friend, then I care about him.”

Dean nods in understanding.

***************

Around daybreak the front door opens and in walks Sam, stumbling all over the place.

“What the hell do you have to say for yourself, huh?!” Dean demands, getting in Sam’s face.

Sam clenches his jaw and stares Dean in the eye, saying nothing.

Dean shoves Sam’s shoulders and he almost falls backward but barely steadies himself.

“I don’t owe you any explanation!” he slurs.

“Like hell you don’t!” Dean argues, shoving Sam again.

“Dean, stoppit!” Bobby says, getting in between the two boys. “Where in the hell have you been, Sam? What the hell’s going on with you lately?”

“Are you drunk again?!” Dean demands, trying to get in Sam’s face again.

“I don’t smell any alcohol this time,” Bobby explains, looking at Sam’s face closer.

Sam shakes his head and tries to push Bobby away but Bobby persists, checking Sam over, looking at his eyes and then looking at his arms for some reason. Until he grabs Sam’s arm and shakes him by both shoulders.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Bobby growls.

“Bobby, what-”

“Get upstairs, Dean.”

“But wait, what’s going on?!” Dean panics.

Just then, Sam collapses on the floor and starts gurgling with his eyes rolled back in his head.

Bobby looks up at Dean, “Call 911, NOW!”

Dean runs into the kitchen, sobbing because he has no idea what’s going on but dials the number anyway. He tells them what he knows- which isn’t much, and they say there’s an ambulance on the way.

The ambulance gets there and they immediately give Sam some sort of shot, then load him up on the stretcher and into the back of the ambulance and take off to the hospital.

Bobby and Dean hop in Bobby’s car and follow behind them.

****************

The doctor talks to Bobby in the hallway while Dean paces back and forth around the vending machines.

Once the doctor pats Bobby on the back and then walks away, Dean makes his way back over to his dad. “What’d he say? Is Sam gonna be okay?!”

Bobby sighs, rubbing his hand over his face before answering. “Sit down, son.”

“Oh god, no!”

“No, he’s going to be okay, but sit down.”

Calming down fractionally, Dean does as he’s told and sits down in the chair closest to his dad.

“He overdosed on Heroin.”

“Heroin?! Seriously where the hell would Sammy get that from?”

Bobby takes a deep breath, scratching his head. “I don’t know, other than maybe that girl, Ruby you talked about.”

Dean shakes his head and tears start flowing again. He puts his head in his hands, and Bobby sits back down beside him and puts his arm around his back.

“We’ll get through this, son.” Bobby assures him.

Chapter Text

The following day Bobby and Dean are in the waiting room when a tall man with a salt and pepper beard approaches them. “Bobby Singer?”

Bobby stands up and turns to face him. “Who’s askin’?”

“Detective Morales- We spoke on the phone earlier.” the man explains.

“Okay, then yeah, I’m Bobby Singer. Thank you for coming, Detective.”

“It’s part of the job, no need to thank me. So, how’s Sam doing?”

Bobby sighs. “He’s still in I.C.U. but he’s breathing on his own now. They say he should be able to go home in a couple days.”

“That’s great, I’m so glad he’s going to be okay.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“I’m going to need to talk to him and see if I can’t find out who he got the drugs from,” the Detective explains.

Bobby nods.

Dean speaks up, then. “Is Sam going to get into any trouble for taking them?”

“Technically the person who he got the drugs from is the one who broke the law.”

“So, what about Sam? Can we press charges against whoever gave him the drugs?” Dean asks.

“That depends on if Sam is willing to tell us who he got them from or not.”

“And if he’s not?”

The Detective sighs. “I’m afraid we can’t do anything in that case.”

Bobby sighs then. “Then let’s hope he’ll tell us.”

****************

There’s a knock on Sam’s hospital room door before it opens and the Detective walks in.

“Sam, I’m Detective Morales. I’m here to talk with you about what happened.”

Sam ignores him, just laying in bed listening to the beeping of his heart monitor while the blood pressure cuff automatically starts ballooning up.

“I’m only here to help, Sam. You’re not in trouble with me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Sam still doesn’t answer or even look at the Detective.

The Detective sighs. “Alright, I’ll come back again tomorrow.”

****************

“He won’t talk to me. He refused to even look at me, when I went in.” The Detective explains to Bobby when he comes back out.

Bobby shakes his head and sighs. “Thanks anyway. I’ll try talking to him and see if I can get anything out of him.”

The Detective nods. “I’ll be back tomorrow to try again.”

“I appreciate that.”

“What if he won’t tell us?” Dean asks his dad.

Bobby shrugs. “I don’t know,” he answers honestly.

*****************

Dean knocks on Sam’s door and then he and Bobby both walk inside. Dean sits down in the chair beside the bed, but Bobby walks over and puts his hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Son, we need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say,” Sam answers, voice still rough from being intubated.

Bobby sighs, shaking his head. “You need to tell us who gave you the drugs. You almost died so I wanna know who’s responsible.”

Dean clears his throat and wipes his teary eyes. “Please, Sam just tell us who you got the drugs from,” he pleads.

Sam takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I can’t tell you anything because I don’t know who they are.”

“What do you mean you don’t know who they are? Some random person gave you drugs and you just took them?!” Dean demands.

“Does this have something to do with that girl Ruby?” Bobby asks calmly.

“No! This wasn’t anything to do with her, I swear. This was just some guy that I’ll never see again. Just please leave her out of this.”

Bobby pats his shoulder then drops his hand back down to his side. “You know you’re beyond grounded, right?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

Dean shakes his head. “So, you don’t even care that you almost died here?!”

“Yeah of course I care. I swear I’ll never touch the stuff again, okay?”

“That’s not good enough, Sam. You need to tell us who gave you the stuff. They need to be held responsible for this!”

“Dean, go back out to the waiting room.”

“What?”

“I said go back to the waiting room. I wanna talk to your brother alone.”

Dean sighs. “Fine,” and heads back out of the room.

“Son, you know we’re worried about you, right? And we love you dearly or we wouldn’t be so upset.”

Sam’s eyes drop to the floor. “Yeah I know. I love you guys too.”

“Sometimes you don’t act like it. Especially recently.”

“I know.”

“What’s going on with you lately, Sam? Why are you pulling away from us?”

Tears start to fall from Sam’s eyes and he sniffles.

“I can’t talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s too much.”

“What is?”

“Nothing, just forget it.”

“Sam, please just TALK to me. Tell me what’s going on. I just wanna help and be there for you. So does your brother.”

Sam’s tears start falling faster and he sniffles again, wiping his face. “It’s about John. It’s something I’ve never told ANYONE.”

Bobby sits down in the chair beside Sam’s bed and puts his hand on Sam’s knee. “You can tell me ANYTHING, son. Please trust me enough to believe that.”

“I saw something when I was little. Something I wasn’t supposed to see.”

“What was it?”

“John was strangling my mom and her lips were turning blue. He was still screaming at her and I was hiding behind the couch, but I saw him finally drop her to the floor and she still wasn’t breathing. Then I ran and hid in my room so I don’t know what else happened but He KILLED her, Bobby! He fucking killed her and I couldn’t do ANYTHING to stop him!” Sam weeps.

Bobby is sitting with his hand over his mouth, eyes wide in shock. “I’m sorry you had to see that, son. I’m so sorry. You really should talk this over with your therapist. She’d know what to say more than I do.”

“I know, it’s just I was always so scared he’d find me if I ever told on him.”

“He’ll never touch you, boy, I swear it.”

“Should we tell Dean?”

“No, I don’t think so. Let’s just keep it between me, you and your therapist for now.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But for how long?”

“I’m not sure. A few years at least. I think then he’ll be better able to handle the news.”

Sam nods. “Okay.”

******************

Twenty minutes later, Bobby walks back into the waiting room and puts his arm around Dean’s back.

“Did he tell you who gave him the drugs?” Dean asks eagerly.

“Nope. He’s still not talking.”

Dean sighs, shaking his head. “I bet it was that girl, whether he swears it wasn’t or not.”

Bobby pats his shoulder then drops his hand back to his side. “I don’t know, son. He won’t say. Hopefully he’ll never see them again, whether it was her or some guy he doesn’t know, like he said. If I have my way he never will.”

“I know. I just can’t believe how stubborn he’s being. Does he not realize how serious this is?!”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Well, he needs to talk to someone about whatever’s going on with him lately. At least he has his therapist, right? Maybe he’s at least talking to her about whatever it is.”

Bobby nods, knowing that Sam’s therapist said he wasn’t opening up anymore, but saying nothing. It’s not Dean’s responsibility to know and worry about everything about Sam like it is Bobby’s and he’ll be damned if he puts any more on Dean’s shoulders than he has to, at seventeen.

Chapter Text

Sam comes home from the hospital and on the way, Bobby drives him to his therapy appointment and waits in the waiting room for him, like always. 

“How have you been since we talked last, Sam?” Kelly asks.

Sam sighs. “There’s a lot that’s happened since we talked last. Well, actually there’s a lot I haven’t told you, too.”

“But you’re willing to open up now?”

“Yeah I am. I finally talked to my dad about it, and that already made me feel better, so he said I should tell you too.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I saw john kill my mother. I was little and scared to death and hiding behind the couch. They had started fighting, but then he started strangling her. He killed her and there was nothing I could do about it. When he finally let go of her, she dropped to the floor and wasn’t breathing and I ran terrified to my bedroom and locked the door.”

“I can see how that would be scary to anyone, especially a small child, Sam. What do you think made you never tell anyone about this before?”

“I was terrified he’d kill me too, if I ever told anyone.”

“But you’re not scared of that anymore?”

“My dad says he won’t let john hurt me and I believe him.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad you and your dad have that trust there.”

“Me too.”

“Okay, Sam, have you ever heard of P.T.S.D.?”

Sam shakes his head.

“Well, it’s something that happens to your brain when you go through a hard trauma, especially if it’s something like seeing someone die in front of you. It’s a traumatic brain injury that changes how your brain works from now on. I believe you have this, would you agree?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really understand what that means.” Sam confesses.

Kelly clicks her tongue. “Do you ever have nightmares or flashbacks where you feel like you’re back in that moment watching that happen again?”

“Oh yeah, all the time. I have nightmares almost every night and don’t sleep very well, I’ve just learned to hide it.”

“Well, those nightmares are caused by your P.T.S.D. There’s medicine I can put you on to help keep the nightmares away. Would you like that?”

“I’d love to not have them anymore, so hell yeah!”

Kelly nods. “Alright, then I’ll add that to your medication. You should be able to pick them up this afternoon. It’ll keep you from having nightmares or flashbacks and let you start getting some real rest at night.”

“Thank you, REALLY thank you, Kelly.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now let’s talk about the things you’ve been keeping to yourself for a while now, okay?”

Sam nods. “Yeah, okay.” he agrees.

******************

The next day he’s going back to school and he realizes he feels fully rested for maybe the first time in his life- no nightmares.

“Okay class, I’m handing back the chapter 5 tests you all took last week, I’m very proud of the majority of you for doing so well so early in the semester.” Mr. Turner says, handing out the papers one by one.

When Mr. Turner hands Sam his paper, it has a big red F on the top of it and Sam’s cheeks burn in shame. He knows he really hasn’t been trying at school since the semester started. ‘I’m gonna do better.’ he vows to himself.

*******************

At lunch, instead of sitting alone, he sees an open seat next to a blonde guy and across from a blond girl- he recognizes both from one of his classes. He turns and walks over to the two and asks, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

They both look up at him and the girl grins. “I don’t mind.” she answers.

“Sure, no problem,” the boy replies, moving his backpack out of the way.

Sam sighs and smiles, sitting in the now empty chair. “Thanks. I usually sit alone, but today I felt like company.” he explains.

“I’m Jess and this is Brady. Hey, don’t we have English together?” she asks, popping a fry in her mouth.

“Yeah, we do. Sorry we’ve never talked before. I’ve been kind of having a rough time lately, but I figured maybe trying to make friends might help me feel better. I’m new here. My family and I just moved to California over the summer from South Dakota.”

“Oh, wow, really? I’ve lived here all my life.” Jess replies.

Brady speaks up. “I moved here a few years ago from Milwaukee, so I guess I get what you’re going through there. California is A LOT different.”

Sam nods. “Yeah, it definitely is. I’m Sam, by the way. Sorry I forget to introduce myself sometimes.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sam.” Brady says, and Jess nods in agreement.

**********************

That day after school, he waits outside for Bobby to come pick him up, when he realizes he has to pee and he can’t wait. So he hurries back inside to the bathroom and just as he opens the door, he sees Dean kissing Cas, the friend of his from the creek. Sam doesn’t know what to do, so he just rushes into a stall and does his business. He hears the bathroom door open and close before he’s done and by the time he comes out to wash his hands, the bathroom is empty.

‘Dean likes boys?’ he can’t help but wonder when that started, but then again he can’t recall any girls Dean’s had a crush on and he’s never had a girlfriend, so maybe it makes sense.

Once his hands are clean he gets back outside to wait for Bobby and spots Bobby’s brown station wagon already waiting for him by the curb. He rushes over and hops in.

“Hey, everything okay?” Bobby asks, looking concerned.

“Yeah, sorry, just had to pee real quick and I couldn’t hold it.”

“Oh okay.”

They head home and Sam can’t help but want to confront Dean about what he saw. ‘Would he try to deny it?’ he wonders.

When they get home, Dean isn’t there yet and Sam decides to just go ahead and start on his homework so he goes upstairs and waits in his bedroom for the right time to approach his brother.

*******************

Dean gets home a little later, Sam knows because he can hear the front door open and close. Bobby starts fixing supper and Sam decides it’s now or never. He waits to hear Dean come upstairs and then opens his door, taking a deep breath and steps out into the hallway.

“Hey, how are you feelin’?” Dean asks, when he spots him.

“I’m okay,” Sam assures him, “But can I talk to you about something?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, of course. Always.”

“Can we talk in your room?”

Dean shrugs. “Sure.”

Once the door is closed behind them, Dean puts his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “You can always come to me, okay? With ANYTHING.”

“Thanks, Dean. But, um…I guess I have a question.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Are you gay?”

Dean swallows and his face falls, his mouth opens but nothing comes out.

“I saw you kissing Cas in the bathroom earlier.” Sam explains.

Dean licks his lips and takes a deep breath in and then out. He closes his eyes. “Yeah Sam, I am. I like guys.”

“Have you always known, or…is this a new thing?” Sam asks curiously.

Dean scratches the back of his neck and looks at the floor. “I’ve kinda always known. For a long time, anyway.” he admits.

Sam nods. “Okay…Um, cool I guess. So are you and Cas like a couple, then?”

Dean sighs. “Not exactly, it’s…. Complicated.”

“Oh okay.”

“So… you’re okay with this?” Dean asks, looking worried.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my brother and it’s just a part of who you are, right?”

Tears start falling from Dean’s eyes. “Yeah, it is.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because it’s a big deal and I didn’t know if you’d accept me.” Dean explains, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

Sam hugs Dean and Dean hugs him back with both arms. “Thanks man. Love you.”

Sam chuckles. “You don’t have to thank me, but I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Sam does as he vowed to himself, and starts actually applying himself at school. His grades start to improve and his days and nights are better than he can ever remember them being. Without the nightmares and without worrying about john showing back up to hurt him, he actually feels pretty damn good!

Bobby sees his effort and offers to drive him to the library and pick him back up when he’s done. Sam jumps at the chance to get back to his normal routine before things started getting bad. Bobby drops him off and tells Sam to call when he’s ready to leave or he’ll be back in two hours whichever comes first. Sam eagerly agrees and is glad to set foot back in the library he’d been so excited about before.

When he’s about to ask to use the phone, he spots Kevin, the boy who he’d made sort of friends with before and feels instantly guilty. “Hey Kevin,” he whispers, waving.

Kevin whispers back, “Hey, Sam. I guess your dad found you afterall. Is everything okay? I was worried when you just stopped coming in.”

“Long story, but yeah I’m okay now. Sorry I kinda skipped out on our plans. Still wanna get together sometime?”

Kevin grins, nodding his head. “Sure.”

“Cool. It might have to wait a little longer I kinda got in trouble and am currently grounded. I just started being able to get out of the house at all other than school.”

“Wow, what did you do to get grounded?”

“Like I said, it’s a long story. Got in with a bad crowd, I guess sums it up.”

“Ah.. yeah that’s easy to do sometimes. Let’s just aim for a few weeks from now and see if you can come over.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

***********************

Bobby picks Sam up from the library and on the way back home Sam sees Ruby standing outside her house, and she just watches them pass her by- the look on her face as if she’s been betrayed.

Sam says nothing and quickly looks away from her, hoping Bobby doesn’t notice and he doesn’t seem to.

As soon as they walk in the door, the phone rings and Bobby answers.

“It’s for you,” he says, holding the phone out.

Sam swallows, knowing that must be Ruby, she’s the only person who knows him and has their number. He doesn’t know what to say but knows he needs to stay away from her. It might not have been her that gave him the drugs, but it was her friend who did, so that means she’s bad news too.

“Hello?”

“Sam, what’s going on baby? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I’m grounded, so I can’t really talk.”

“There’s something you should know before you blow me off forever.”

Sam scoffs. “What’s that?”

“I’m pregnant. And the baby’s yours, Sam. I haven’t slept with anyone else. I don’t know what to do, I’m freaking out.”

Sam’s mouth drops open and the phone falls to the floor with a loud clang.

Bobby rushes over to Sam and puts his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Sam? What’s wrong? Who is it? What’s going on?”

Bobby picks up the phone, “He’ll call you back,” he says before hanging up.

“That was Ruby.”

“Okay and?”

“Dad, she says she’s pregnant and it’s my baby.”

“What?! Sam, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her without wearing a condom and making sure she’s on birth control.”

Sam sniffles, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry dad. I did, I slept with her more than once and never used a condom. I got her pregnant. What am I supposed to do now? Drop out of school and get a job?”

“Of course not. Call her back and tell her we’ll give her the money she needs to have an abortion.”

“But isn’t that up to her?”

“It is, but how old is she Sam? Do you really think she wants to be a teenage mom?”

“Probably not.”

“Do like I said, call her back and let her know we’ll give her the money to have it taken care of.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Sam does call her back and she answers on the first ring. Bobby leaves the room, Sam guesses to give him some privacy.

“Sam?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Ruby.”

“What am I supposed to do?!”

“My dad says we’ll give you the money to have an abortion. You don’t want to be a teenage mom, right?”

“So, that’s it? You’re just going to give me money to get out of your problem?!”

Sam scoffs. “What do you expect me to do, Ruby? Dropout of high school and get a job somewhere to support you and a baby? You don’t want to be a parent at seventeen.”

“Actually I just had my birthday so I’m 18 now, Sam. Which also means you could get me in trouble for statutory rape. Are you going to do that to me?”

“What? Of course not! I just want this problem taken care of us for both of us and that’s all. I didn’t even tell them I was at your house when I took those drugs. I just want this all to be over and that’s all.”

“Nevermind then. I’ll take care of it myself. I don’t want your money,” she says, hanging up.

Sam shakes his head and wipes his eyes and turns around to see Bobby standing there again behind him.

“So, you were at her house when you got the drugs, huh?”

Sam sighs, nodding. “I’m sorry I lied. I really didn’t get the drugs from her, but it WAS one of her friends who had it there. I just didn’t wanna get her in trouble.”

Bobby rubs his hand over his face.“Seems like you should be more worried about getting yourself in trouble, son. Who’s looking out for YOU?”

“You’re right. I promise I won’t ever see either of them again and I really won’t ever touch drugs again, I swear.”

“I believe you.”

Chapter Text

Cas has been ignoring Dean all day, but then he finally catches him at the end of the day going into the bathroom. So, he follows him inside.

“What’s going on with you?” Dean asks, bluntly.

Cas looks at him in the mirror. “What are you talking about?”

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“I just think it would be better if we weren’t seen together here after what happened. I don’t want you getting hurt again.” Cas explains.

Dean steps forward and gently turns Cas around by the arm. “Baby, I don’t care about that. He’s in jail now and not getting out anytime soon and so are his buddies. I just wanna be with you.”

Cas leans up and kisses Dean but then they hear the bathroom door open adn close and someone closes and locks a stall.

Cas’ eyes go wide and he shakes his head at Dean and walks out without another word.

Dean sighs, waiting a few seconds and then leaving too.

*****************

When Dean gets home from school, he goes straight upstairs and doesn’t come down for dinner. The next days are the same with Cas ignoring him, so he decides he’s done and over it. He can’t just hide who he is anymore and he doesn’t want to.

About a month later, at lunch, a boy stands in front of the empty seat beside Dean. “Hey, I’m Gordon. Today’s my first day, so I don’t know anyone. Mind if I sit here?”

Dean decides to give the guy a break. “Sure, no problem.” he replies, moving his tray over a little bit.

The boy sits down and grins at Dean.

“I’m Dean. I just started this semester, and I’m new to California. What about you?”

“My mom and I just moved here from Tennessee. Parents just got divorced and my dad’s never been much of a dad, so we moved out here.”

Dean nods. “I know what you mean about the whole dad thing. My adopted dad is way more of a parent to me than john ever was.”

Dean notices that Cas is looking over at them and shrugs, continuing his conversation with his new friend.

********************

One day at the end of the day, Dean is standing at his locker with Gordon when Cas walks up to him.

“Dean, can I talk to you?”

Dean looks at Gordon first and says, “See ya tomorrow, man,” then turns back to Cas, “Sure, what’s up?”

Gordon closes his locker and walks away without another word and Cas steps in closer to Dean, whispering. “Can we talk?”

“I thought that’s what we were already doing.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“My parents told me not to come home after school tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow’s my 18th birthday, Dean. They’re kicking me out.”

“Are you serious?”

“No, this is all a hilarious joke, can’t you tell?”

“Sorry, of course you wouldn’t joke about something like this. But what can I do?”

“I don’t know what to do, Dean. I have nowhere to go.”

“Okay, okay, just calm down. Get whatever you can of your stuff tonight and then bring it to school with you tomorrow and then you’re coming to my house. Bobby will know what to do.”

“Are you sure he’ll be okay with that?”

“Of course he will. He’ll help you, I promise, Cas. Just do what I said, okay? You can keep your stuff in my car until the end of the day.”

Cas nods, sniffing and wipes his face. “Thanks, Dean. I will. See you tomorrow.”

*****************

The next day goes as planned, Cas meets him in the parking lot with a red duffle bag and Dean locks it in his impala during school. Once the day is over Cas rides with him to his house and Dean prays he’s right about Bobby being willing to help Cas, but is almost positive he’s right about that.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah, son?” Bobby says, turning to face Dean and seeing Cas beside him. “Hey Cas. Long time no see.”

“Dad, we have a problem.”

“What’s going on?”

“Cas’ parents kicked him out today- he just turned 18 today.”

“They said they didn’t want to have me burden them any longer since I’m old enough to take care of myself now.” Cas adds with big sad eyes.

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry to hear that Cas. But what can I do to help?”

“I was hoping we could let Cas stay here for a while until he figures something else out.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go, and I don’t have any money to get my own place. I can get a job and start saving but that’ll take months.”

Bobby looks at Dean and then Cas and sighs. “You can stay here until we figure out something else, okay?” 

“Oh thank you, Bobby. You won’t regret it, I won’t be any trouble at all, you’ll see.”

“I believe you, kiddo. Dean will show you to your new bedroom, I’ll have to move my junk out of there for you. The extra bedroom has been serving as my office but it’s no trouble- I’ll just move it to the garage.”

“Thanks dad, I knew we could count on you.”

“Well, just be thankful we have the room, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to help.”

“I am, believe me.”

“Dean, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course.”

Dean follows Bobby to the kitchen and Cas stays by the front door. “What is it, dad? You’re not mad are you?”

“What? No, of course I’m not mad. You did the right thing bringing him here. But I’m gonna be blunt. Whatever is going on with you and Cas, friends or more than that, I don’t want any funny business going on under my roof, you hear me? Not just with Cas, either.”

“I got it. There won’t be, I promise.”

“Okay, now that that’s settled, go ahead and show the boy his new bedroom.”

Dean nods, and disappears around the corner and up the stairs with Cas following behind.

Chapter Text

A few hours later, Dean knocks on Cas’ bedroom door. Cas says to come in, so he opens it and walks in and clears his throat, taking note of Cas’ empty duffle bag at the end of the bed. “You getting settled okay in here? Do you need anything?”

Cas looks up at him from his place on the bed and shakes his head. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Well, I wanted to let you know what Bobby said to me in the kitchen earlier.”

“Okay.”

“He said he didn’t know if we were together or anything or not but as long as we’re under his roof, he expects no funny business between us or between us and anyone else while we’re in this house. He doesn’t want anything like that going on in the house.”

Cas’ face goes pale. “You TOLD him about us?” he asks nervously.

“No, but I did come out to him recently, so I think he figures he’s just covering all his bases.”

“Oh okay. Thanks for letting me know, but I wasn’t planning on any ‘funny business’ while I’m here.”

“Yeah, I know, I just figured I’d let you in on what he said so you wouldn’t think he secretly didn’t want you here or something. It’s nothing like that. Trust me, if he didn’t want you here, he wouldn’t have let you stay.”

Cas nods. “That’s good to know. Thank you, Dean.”

“You’re welcome. Supper will be ready in a little bit, so if you wanna come down and eat with us you’re welcome to.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Dean replies, leaving the room and shutting the door back behind him.

When he turns around there’s Sam, looking at him curiously. “What’s going on?”

“Didn’t Dad tell you?”

“No, tell me what? Was that Cas in Dad’s office?”

Dean sighs, “Look today’s Cas’ 18th birthday and his parents kicked him out of the house. Told him not to come home after school today. He didn’t know where else to go so I brought him here and asked Bobby what we could do. Bobby agreed to let him stay here in the spare bedroom until we figure out something else. So, now you’re caught up,” he says, patting Sam on the arm.

“Wow, poor Cas. Is he okay?”

Dean shrugs. “I hope so.”

“Why don’t you know? Aren’t you guys like best friends?”

“Actually we haven’t really talked much lately until now.”

“Why not?”

“Sammy, please just trust me it’s complicated. I’d rather not get into it, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Sure.”

**********************

Dinner was a little awkward with Cas now staying there temporarily. It wouldn’t be half as awkward if Dean and Cas had been on speaking terms before now and of course Bobby had no idea there was anything wrong between them, so it made it worse. Dean was doing his best to pretend things were the same between him and Cas but he wasn’t sure it was fooling anyone.

Cas speaks up once he finishes his plate. “Thanks for dinner, Bobby, it was delicious.”

Bobby gives him a polite smile, “You’re welcome. Look, Cas, I know you’re 18, but while you’re staying here I expect you to keep up with your schoolwork, just like Dean and Sam. Is that gonna be a problem for you?”

“No, sir, it won’t.”

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir’, Cas. Bobby is just fine. But I do expect you to put your dirty dishes in the sink and then go on upstairs and do your homework if you got any. We rotate who’s turn it is to do dishes every night. Tonight’s my night, tomorrow can be your turn. That okay with you?”

“Yes, si- I mean Bobby. I don’t have any problem with that at all.”

“Good. I’m not trying to be a hard-ass, I just want to make sure things are in order and we’ll get along great.”

“You got it.”

******************

The next day at school Cas continues to ignore Dean, just like nothing has changed between them, so Dean just continues on like everything’s fine without Cas in his life. Though honestly he misses his friendship even if they can’t be together anymore, he wishes Cas would at least still be his friend.

“Whatcha doing after school today?” Gordon asks at lunch.

“I’m not sure yet, why?”

“Because I was wondering if you would wanna hang out at the park and play some basketball with me and a couple guys from my Geometry class- Scott Butler and Rhet Adams.”

“I was supposed to give my friend a ride home, but I’m sure I can come back afterward and play some basketball for a little bit. Just gotta ask my dad,” Dean explains.

Gordon nods, grinning. “You’re almost 18 and you still have to get permission for every little thing?” he teases.

Dean shrugs. “What can I say, my dad’s just very protective of us. He just wants to know we’re safe. I’m sure he won’t mind if I come play some basketball later,” he insists.

“Alright, cool. I hope so, because we’re teaming up and you’re on my team. You any good?”

Dean considers it for a few seconds. “I’m okay. I’m no Michael Jordan, but I can play.”

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.

“Cool, see you after school then.”

“Okay, see ya.”

************************

Dean drives him and Cas home in silence since Cas still isn’t speaking to him besides occasionally when they’re at the house.

Cas hops out once they get there and Dean rushes inside and changes into an old t-shirt and basketball shorts before coming back downstairs to where Bobby is already working on fixing supper.

“Hey, a friend of mine wants to know if I can go to the park and play some basketball with him and a couple other guys. Is that okay?”

Bobby turns around and takes in Dean’s clothes and grins. “You’re so sure I’d say yes, huh? Yeah that’s fine, just be home by dark.”

“You got it, thanks dad.”

“Be safe.”

“I will. Promise.”

******************

Dean hops back in his baby and heads straight for the park. Gordon is waiting for him in the parking lot and they walk over to the basketball area and there’s two other guys waiting for them.

“Hey guys, this is Dean. Dean, this is Rhet and this is Scott,” Gordon says, pointing them out. Rhet is at least six foot four with dark brown hair, and Scott is a few inches shorter than Dean, so still around six feet tall, just like Gordon, but with curly red hair and freckles.

They start playing two on two and Gordon has some serious skills. Everytime Dean turns around, Gordon is sinking yet another two points for their team.

All hot and sweaty, they decide to take a break and all take turns at the outdoor water fountain and then sit down on the sidewalk for a few minutes to cool down.

“So, you’re in Gordon’s Geometry class, right?” Dean asks, making small talk.

“Yep,” is all Rhet answers before getting back up and heading back over with the basketball to practice free throws.

“Don’t mind him, he doesn’t talk much to anyone,” Scott tells Dean before following Rhet back over to the basketball area.

“I think I’m done for today, man.” Dean tells Gordon, still out of breath.

“Alright, I’ll walk you to your car.”

Dean shrugs. “Okay.”

They make it back over to the parking lot across the street and Dean has finally caught his breath. “Thanks for inviting me, man. I had a lot of fun. Maybe we can do it again someti-”

Gordon cuts off Dean’s words with his mouth against his. It’s a chaste kiss, but still unexpected. After a few seconds, Gordon pulls back and looks at Dean disappointed.

“Sorry, I…That was unexpected,” Dean explains for why he didn’t kiss back.

“Should I try again, then? Since you’ll be expecting it this time?” Gordon asks, grinning wide and waggling his eyebrows.

Gordon leans back in for another kiss, but Dean pulls away. “Are you sure those guys are….they might see us.”

“Who, Rhet and Scott? They’re a couple, Dean.”

Dean is shocked. “They are?”

“Yep. So, I don’t think they’ll mind or tell on us if that’s what you’re worried about. So, what do you say, can I try that again?”

Dean swallows and nods. “Sure, okay.”

They both lean in and this kiss is way more intense because as soon as their lips meet, Gordon’s tongue forces its way inside Dean’s mouth and Dean is surprised but he kinda likes Gordon, so he kinda likes this too. The kiss breaks off and Dean’s just looking at Gordon like he’s not sure if that was real or not.

“How was that?” Gordon asks, shyly.

Dean nods, but nothing is coming out of his mouth because he’s speechless. He doesn’t know WHAT to say, and he’s not completely sure how he feels. After all, he still has feelings for Cas.

“I like you, Dean. I thought that was obvious.” 

“I like you too, it’s just….”

“Someone else?”

“Not exactly, but sort of.”

“Well, that clears that up,” Gordon chuckles. “You can tell me if you just don’t like me like that.”

“No, it’s not that. You’re really cool and handsome and smart.”

“Thanks.”

“I just…things are a little complicated with me right now. I have a lot going on at home. Can we just keep things the way they are for now? Give me a little time.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Thanks.”

“Just know I won’t wait around forever, though.”

“Got it.”

Chapter Text

Dean wakes up early the next morning, a Saturday, and decides to head to the creek. He considers asking Cas if he wants to come, but decides against it. Things are awkward enough at home now because of their non-friendship, he just wants to be around his friends without that same awkwardness at least for a little while. He feels a little guilty because Cas was their friend first, but still he leaves without asking Cas if he wants to go. Bobby just tells him to be safe and be home by dinner.

When he gets to the creek, Charlie and Jo are already there and are holding hands and flirting.

“Hey guys,” Dean greets as he walks down toward the water.

“Heya Dean. Say, have you heard from Cas?” Charlie asks.

“Why do you ask?” Dean asks carefully, not knowing what Cas might have told anyone or IF he told anyone anything about his new situation.

“I tried to call him a few times but his parents just kept hanging up on me. It was weird. Usually Cas answers the phone, so I just wondered if he was sick or something. I know we don’t talk all that often, but it’s been a while since either of you have been here too. So, I figured you might know what was going on.”

Before Dean can open his mouth to try and answer, Cas and Meg are walking toward them from the parking lot.

“Hey, speak of the devil,” Jo teases.

Meg looks up at them then. “What?”

It’s Charlie who speaks up first. “I was just asking about Cas because I haven’t been able to get a hold of him for a while. I was worried he was sick or something.”

Dean just sits still and watches Cas, waiting for him to answer.

Finally he does. “I’m fine. My parents are just weird and I happen to not answer the phone when you called me. No big deal.”

Charlie looks at Jo and shrugs. “Okay, just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Meg looks up then and gives Charlie a look. “He SAID he’s fine, now drop it.”

Charlie holds her hands up placatingly. “Okay okay, it’s dropped.”

They’re all sitting in almost a circle now and Cas is across from Dean. Nobody says anything for a while and Dean sighs. So much for getting away from the awkwardness.

Cas just pulls out his notebook and starts writing, ignoring everyone else’s presence as he sits close to Meg. Meg puts her arm around him and glares at Dean.

“Okay, what’s going on here?” Jo asks, innocently, “Why’s everyone so quiet?”

Meg gives Jo a glare and shakes her head.

“What? Am I missing something?”

Cas sighs, looking up from his notebook for the first time in several minutes. “I broke up with Dean, okay? That’s why we’re not talking.”

“What happened?”Charlie asks.

“None of your business, is what happened,” Meg answers bluntly.

“Geez, I was just asking.”

Dean sighs then. He knew it would be a bad idea for them both to be here together. He stands up and slips his shoes back on. “I’m gonna go. See you guys later.” 

“Wait, you don’t have to leave, Dean.” Jo says.

“Yeah, you’re our friend too.” Charlie insists.

“That’s okay,” he says, making his way back to the parking lot.

“Way to go Meg, you made him feel unwelcome here.” Charlie complains.

“Maybe he is.” Meg says, raising her voice.

Charlie scoffs. “He’s our friend too, you don’t just get to decide you don’t like someone and-”

Dean stops listening and closes the door to his car and starts her up. He sits there for a minute trying to decide what to do. He decides to go back to the park and see if anyone’s there to play basketball with. Maybe that’s exactly what he needs right now is some exercise.

*********************

Apparently his day is looking up, because who does he spot at the park playing basketball by himself, but Gordon Walker. Dean grins and parks his baby before walking across the street and greeting Gordon with a wave.

“Hey stranger,” Gordon says, throwing him the ball.

“Hey.”

“Were you looking for me?” Gordon asks.

“I was hoping you might be here, yeah.”

“Really, and why is that?”

“Maybe I wanted to kiss you again.”

“Is that so?” Gordon asks, licking his lips.

Dean grins and leans in and kisses Gordon chastly before pulling away. “Yep.”

“So, does that mean you wanna be my boyfriend?”

Dean’s heart flutters. For a split second he thinks of Cas but then he remembers that Cas isn’t even his friend anymore. “Okay.” he answers with a smile.

**********************

Dean gets home right before dark and with a grin. He and Gordon had spent a while playing basketball, sure, but then they had gone to sit in Dean’s baby and made out a little. So he’s in a good mood when he gets back home.

“What’s got you smiling so big?” Sam asks innocently.

“Nothing.” Dean answers, jogging up the stairs to his bedroom and closing the door. He thinks about this afternoon with Gordon and how nice it had been to be with someone again but then his mind goes to Cas and he can’t help and miss HIS kisses and being close to HIM instead of Gordon. Dean sighs. He’s so confused. He likes Gordon, sure, but he still likes Cas too. But there’s not much of a choice because Cas isn’t even his friend anymore. He won’t even speak to him outside of the house anymore.

There’s a knock at the door then and so Dean opens it to find none other than Cas standing there.

“Oh, hey Cas,” Dean greets him awkwardly.

“I know you must hate me, but can we talk?”

Dean moves back away from the door to let Cas in. “Uh, sure. Come in.”

Cas walks in and Dean closes the door behind him. As soon as Dean opens his mouth to speak, Cas’ lips are crashing against his.

Dean’s heart starts racing and he wants to return the kiss but then what about Gordon? So he pushes Cas away. “What the hell was that about?” he asks, confused as ever.

“I miss you, Dean. I’m sorry I haven’t been talking to you lately, I’ve just been self isolating because of my depression. Getting kicked out of the house really made me feel like a worthless waste of space and I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. I miss us and I don’t care anymore if someone sees.”

“Cas….” Dean sighs, heart breaking, He forces out the hardest thing he’s ever said to anyone, “I can’t be with you.”

Cas just looks at him, eyes big and sad. “Why not?”

Dean closes his eyes and can’t bring himself to say it out loud.

“Dean, please tell me why?” Cas asks as tears stream down his face.

Oh god, he just made this a million times harder. Dean can’t cheat on someone, he refuses to be that kind of guy. Even if he wants to be with Cas, he’ll have to at least tell Gordon first. He swallows and resists the urge to wipe away Cas’ tears. “There’s someone else.” he finally blurts out.

“Someone else?”

Dean nods.

“Who is it?”

“Gordon Walker.”

“Your new friend, right? The one you’ve been sitting with at lunch every day?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“He’s handsome,” Cas says bitterly.

Dean reaches for him then. “Cas-”

“Don’t. You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I understand you’ve got someone else now.”

“Cas, wait.”

Cas doesn’t wait, he opens the door and goes back to his bedroom and closes his door.

Dean sits on his bed with his head in his hands. ‘Goddammit.’

Chapter Text

Due to Sam’s grades improving so much, he gets ungrounded and the first place he goes is back to the library. He doesn’t stop at Ruby’s house on the way and when he gets there he sees Kevin.

“Hey man, I’m finally ungrounded.”

“That’s great. Wanna come over today once we’re done here?”

“Sure, my dad said it’d be okay.”

“Cool. So what are you here studying?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“I suggest the Phasmatodea…walking sticks.”

“Oh, that sounds cool, thanks I’ll check it out.”

******************

A couple hours later, Kevin taps Sam on the shoulder. “My mom’s here. Let me ask her if it’s okay if you come over then I’ll come back in and let you know.”

“Okay.”

Kevin goes outside and then a few minutes later comes back inside smiling and waving him on. “She said yes. Come on.”

They hop inside the red honda and the inside is spotless. “Hi, Sam, I’m Linda Tran, nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Tran.”

“Put on your seatbelts boys. Sam I’ll let you call your dad when we get home and ask if it’s okay for you to stay for dinner. If he says it’s okay, then I’ll drive you home after.”

“Okay, cool. Thanks.”

********************

Kevin is showing Sam his bug collection (dead bugs is all his mom would allow in the house) when Mrs. Tran says that dinner’s ready and for them to go wash their hands.

Once their hands are clean and they come back into the kitchen, the tv is still on the nightly news in the living room. Sam just happens to look at the screen right when they’re showing a picture of none other than Ruby and talking about her tragic death by heroin overdose.

Sam isn’t hungry anymore and calls his dad to come pick him up.

**********************

Once they’re in Bobby’s car, he looks over at Sam. “What’s wrong?” Did something happen?”

Sam swallows and then tears start falling. “It’s about Ruby. Dad, she died. She overdosed on heroin and now she’s dead. I saw it on the news.”

“Oh, Sam, I’m sorry that happened. I know I didn’t know the girl but I’m still sorry. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I will be, it’s just…she was pregnant with my baby and now her and the baby are both gone. I didn’t wish for this, I just wanted her to take care of the pregnancy.”

“Are you saying you think she committed suicide?”

“No, I think she just tried to take enough drugs to kill the baby so she wouldn’t have to get an abortion.”

“We may never know the truth son.”

“I know.”

“Well, did you eat? You want me to heat up some of tonight’s supper?”

“No, I’m not hungry anymore. I just wanna take a shower and go to bed.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Whatever you feel like you need to do right now.”

“Can we go to her funeral?”

Bobby clicks his tongue. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Are you sure you wanna go?”

Sam nods. “Yeah, I’m sure. Please?”

Bobby puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Okay then. We’ll go.”

**********************

The funeral is the day after next and Sam is dreading seeing any of Ruby’s friends there. But he’s mostly afraid of seeing Alistair, the one who gave him the drugs and surely gave Ruby the drugs that killed her.

The next day Bobby takes him and buys him a nice suit to wear and some dress shoes to match and Dean meets them in the living room when they get back from the store.

“Where have you guys been?” Dean asks, looking at the bags in Sam’s hand.

“Shopping. Didn’t think you’d miss anything.” Bobby replies.

“Nah, I hate shopping. What were you shopping for?”

Sam sighs, “Funeral clothes. Ruby died from a heroin overdose and I wanted to go to her funeral, but I didn’t have anything to wear.”

Dean’s face drops. “Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“No offense to her or anything but why do you want to go to her funeral?”

Sam and Bobby share a look, then Bobby leaves the room and Sam looks back at Dean. “There’s something you don’t know, Dean.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Ruby was pregnant. And it was my baby. I think she took enough drugs to try to kill the baby so she wouldn’t have to get an abortion.”

“Wait, are you kidding me?! You got her pregnant and didn’t tell me! First of all what kind of idiot doesn’t know to wear a condom and second of all… I don’t even know what else to say, man. What the hell?!

“I know, we should have told you, but we just figured she would get it taken care of and it wouldn’t matter anymore.”

“Wait, WE? Dad knew too and neither of you told me?!”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, is there any other earth shattering news that concerns our family that you’ve been keeping from me, Sam?!”

Sam opens his mouth to speak but Bobby interrupts. “That’s it. That’s the only thing, Dean. Look, I’m sorry we should have told you.”

“Yeah, you should have.” Dean agrees, rushing upstairs and slamming his bedroom door behind him.

*******************

The following Day Dean refuses to speak to Sam but Bobby takes him to the funeral home. There’s one person standing beside the closed casket and nobody in the seats. Bobby and Sam walk over to the distraught looking woman who looks like she must be Ruby’s mother.

“Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss.” Sam tells her, shaking her hand.

“How did you know my Ruby?” She asks innocently.

“She was a friend,” he answers simply.

“Oh, well it’s sweet of you to come today. We’re about to start, so you can take your seats.”

Sam looks around and there’s really nobody but her mother and them two attending her funeral. The preacher gets up and addresses them and starts quoting the Bible and then prays a quick prayer and then it’s over.

When they get back in the car, Sam is crying again.

“Are you okay?” Bobby asks.

“No. She died and NOBODY came to her funeral, dad. All of the people that were supposed to be her friends didn’t even bother to show up.” he cries.

“That’s really sad, son. I wish things would have been different. Maybe Ruby was just a girl who fell in with the wrong crowd. As you know, it happens.”

“Yeah, I know. And to think this could be my funeral and I wonder who would be here for me besides you and Dean.”

“You’re right, it could have been you but thankfully it wasn’t. And you’re doing better now and know better than to hang out with just anyone so I’m hoping you learned your lesson there.”

Sam sniffles, wipes his eyes and nods. “Yeah, I did.”

Chapter Text

October comes and Dean is still mad at Sam and Bobby and Cas still won’t talk to Dean. The weather is starting to get colder in other parts of the world, but in Pleasant View California, it’s still the same sunny warm weather with a slight breeze.

Fall break is this week and Dean isn’t looking forward to it at all. He hopes he can get out of the house as much as possible to keep things from being so awkward at home between him and Cas.

He calls up Gordon. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Gordon, it’s Dean.”

“Heya handsome, what’s up?”

“What do you think about going to the movies with me tomorrow night?”

“Hmm… let me think about it. What are we going to see?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Ooh how can I refuse that offer. Sure. Should I meet you there or are you picking me up?”

“I can pick you up if you want or if you’d rather drive, that’s fine with me too.”

“I think I’d like you to pick me up, in that beautiful car of yours.”

“You like her, do you?”

“Oh yeah. She’s a classic.”

“I picked her out myself.”

“So what time should I be ready?”

“How about 6:30 since the movie starts at 7?”

“Perfect. See you then.”

“See you then.”

*************************

They end up seeing some lame romcom that is so bad nobody is actually watching it anymore, the audience is all just talking amongst themselves or kissing their date.

Gordon leans in to kiss Dean but Dean stops him. “There’s something you should know.”

“Okay.”

“The someone else I told you about, I still have feelings for him.”

“So what does that mean? Where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to be honest with you about it.”

Gordon nods. “I appreciate that. Look, until you figure out what you want, just uh…let me know when you’re sure about either me or him.”

“I will, I promise.”

“I wanna go home. Take me home please.”

“You don’t wanna finish the movie first?”

Gordon gives Dean a look and Dean relents. “I’ll take you home now.”

***********************

Cas pointedly ignores his entrance into the living room and Dean sighs. “Can we talk?”

“What’s the point, Dean?”

“Cas, please?”

Cas sighs. “Fine. What is it?”

“I told Gordon about you. Well, not YOU specifically, but I told him that I still have feelings for someone else.”

“What did he say?”

“He said to let him know when I figure out what I want. But Cas, I think I already know.”

“Really? And what’s that?”

“I want a boyfriend who I can hold hands with in school and kiss whenever he’ll let me and I don’t have to hide who I am.”

“Sounds like you’ve made your choice.”

“Yeah, maybe I have.”

“Well, don’t leave the poor boy waiting. Let him know how you feel about him.”

“I am. Cas, it’s you. I choose you. YOU’RE the one I want. Sure Gordon’s nice and all, but you’re the one who has my heart, not him. So, what do you say? Do you forgive me?”

“Forgive you for what?”

“I should have given you time and space like you asked for. I’m sorry I started dating someone else. But seriously, you’re the one I want, Cas. Will you take me back?”

“There’s something you need to do first.”

“What is it?”

“Call Gordon and tell him your decision. Then come back to me and I’ll give you my answer.”

“Okay, I’ll call him right now.”

When Dean gets off the phone, Cas meets him in the kitchen. “Did you tell him your choice?”

“Yeah, I told him I’m sorry but that you have my heart and I hope we can still be friends. So what do you say, Cas? Will you take me back?”

“I don’t know, Dean. The next time I need space is this going to happen again?”

“Of course not, now that I know that’s what this was. I just thought we weren’t even friends anymore at all, so that’s why this happened. I thought you were done with me completely- friends and all.”

Cas nods. “I’m sorry I should have tried harder to keep from self-isolating. I should have told you I just still needed some time to myself.”

“That’s okay, Cas. Just let me know what you need and I’ll be happy to give it to you.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“So?”

Cas grins and pulls Dean close and kisses him slow and deep.

Suddenly someone behind them is clearing their throat. It’s Sam and he’s smirking at them. “So….I take it you guys are good again?”

They pull back from each other and blush furiously. “Yeah, we’re good.” Dean answers for them both.

“Don’t let dad see you two like that or he’ll have a cow.” Sam adds before leaving the room.

Dean and Cas both chuckle. “Yeah, I guess Sam’s right. You know what dad said about no funny business under his roof.”

“Yeah, that just means we’ll have to take our funny business somewhere else.”

Dean is a little shocked. “Is that right?”

Cas nods, kissing Dean’s nose and then walking away.

**********************

Dean makes sure nobody is around and he sneaks to Cas’ bedroom door and knocks.

“Come in.”

Dean opens the door, walks inside and then closes it quickly behind him.

“Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean shushes him and walks over to the bed and kisses him. Cas kisses him back and then lays back on his bed, pulling Dean down with him.

“What about no funny business in the house?” Cas whispers between kisses.

“What dad doesn’t know, can’t hurt him.” Dean whispers back, kissing Cas again.

They start to grind against each other and then they hear footsteps on the stairs so they break apart. Dean stands beside the door and Cas opens his history book and pretends to be reading. Dean opens the door and there stands Bobby.

Bobby looks at them both with a cocked brow. “What’s going on, guys?”

Dean is the one who answers. “Not much, I was just helping Cas study for his history test next week.”

Bobby nods. “That’s good. I’m glad to see you boys getting along again.”

Cas chimes in. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good. Well, I’ll let you get back to studying. You boys mind if I order pizza for supper tonight? I don’t feel like cooking.”

“Sounds good to me,” Dean answers at the same time Cas says, “That works.”

Bobby closes the door back behind him and they hear his footsteps down the stairs again.

Dean and Cas both sigh a breath of relief that he bought their lie and go right back to making out on Cas’ bed.

Chapter Text

The next day Dean and Cas go to the creek and the only other person there is Meg, laying on her back sunbathing in her two piece. Dean doesn’t know if she and Cas have talked yet about them getting back together or not, so he’s not sure how she will react to the news.

“Hey Meg.” Dean greets awkwardly, walking down towards the water, holding Cas’ hand.

Meg pulls her sunglasses down and looks up at him and then over at Cas, surprise written all over her face. “I take it this means you two are back together?”

“Yeah, we are,” Cas answers for them both and Dean is grateful for it.

“I see.”

“Come on Meg, don’t be mad. I didn’t tell you because it just happened last night. I promise I wasn’t going to keep it from you.” Cas explains.

“Okay okay, I get it. Whatever makes you happy. Just know that if you ever need anything, I’m here okay?”

“Thanks, Meg.”

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and feels much better now that Meg took the news pretty well.

“So, I suppose I should get out of your hair and let you guys be all gross and lovey dovey with each other.” Meg muses out loud.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t have to leave,” Cas assures her, knocking his shoulder into Dean’s and giving him a pleading look.

“Yeah, of course you don’t have to leave,” Dean chimes in.

“Okay, if you insist. I’ll stay as long as you two don’t start making out or anything.”

Cas’s cheeks turn red and Dean winks at him. “Nah, we’ll save that for some other time.”

“Thank you for sparing me.” Meg says sincerely.

They fall silent and Cas pulls out his notebook and starts working on his poetry. Dean kisses his cheek and then gets his feet in the water, sitting in the sun and just looking out at the beautiful day. Meg eventually turns over on her stomach and continues sunbathing as she silently reads from some school book.

A few hours later, Meg leaves, saying she needs to get back home before dinner and Dean is thankful for at least a little time alone with his boyfriend before they have to be home themselves.

“Don’t worry, Meg is warming up to you. As long as you treat me right, she’ll have no choice but to love you.” Cas assures him suddenly in between kisses.

“That’s good to know. I do intend to treat you right, you do know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“And speaking of treating you right, there’s something I want to ask you.”

Cas looks curious when he says, “Okay, what is it?”

“I know it’s still pretty early to be thinking about it, but will you go to the prom with me?”

Cas grins wide and gummy and kisses Dean again. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. You’re my boyfriend and there’s nobody else I’d rather go with. So will you?”

“Then, yes I will go to the prom with you.”

Dean smiles and takes a deep breath.

“What, were you worried I’d say no?”

“Maybe a little.” Dean admits.

Cas takes both Dean’s hands in his and kisses him again. “There’s no one I’d rather go with than you.”

*******************

Things are going so well between him and Cas, Dean almost forgets he’s still mad at his dad and Sam for keeping the pregnancy from him. ALMOST. Mostly he just doesn’t speak to either of them unless he has to. Which means he has to talk to his dad, because well he still has to get permission to go places and etc. but he hasn’t been talking to Sam at all.

The rest of the week goes by slow, thankfully and Dean enjoys just being with Cas and they continue to make out in either Cas or Dean’s bedroom under the guise of studying or working on homework or just talking. Dean knows he should tell his dad that he and Cas are back together, but maybe he wants a little payback for not being told something important.

******************

“So is this the lucky guy?” Gordon asks the next week at lunch. Dean and Cas having sat down beside each other and across from Gordon, both grinning and holding hands.

“Yep, this is him. Cas, meet Gordon. Gordon, this is Cas.”

Cas blushes. “It’s nice to meet you, Gordon.”

Gordon winks at Cas, “You’ve got a good guy there, and I just wanted you to know there’s no hard feelings.”

Cas clears his throat. “I appreciate that. No hard feelings on my part either. According to Dean you’re a great guy. I’d like to find out for myself if you’ll let me. I’d like us to be friends.”

Gordon looks at Dean and smiles. “I think that’s a great idea, Cas. I’m still new here and could always use more friends.”

********************

The next day, Bobby knocks on Dean’s bedroom door, waking him up from an afternoon nap, after school.

“Come in,” Dean answers, hoping it’s nothing bad this time.

“Hey,” Bobby says, entering the room, “I just wanted to catch up with you. It feels like we haven’t really been talking lately.”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re still upset about us not telling you about the whole pregnancy thing, but you have to forgive us at some point. People make mistakes, including adults.”

Dean crosses his arms across his chest. “Yeah, I know. You still should have told me, though,” he argues.

Bobby sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. “I know. And I’m sorry. So is Sam. But we’ve all been through a lot, so let’s try to cut each other a little slack, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Good. Now that that’s settled, I’m going out tonight. I’ll only be gone a few hours, but I just feel like I need some time around other adults for a while. I’m going to a bar, but I promise you I’m not getting drunk.”

“I know that, dad. You’re not john. I know you’re not going to do anything stupid like he would. Hell, you barely even drink beer at all. I’m not worried. Go and have fun tonight and maybe even make some friends.”

“Okay, I just didn’t want you to worry. As for you boys, I expect the same rules to be followed while I’m not home as when I am. Got it?”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, dad, I got it. We’ll be okay for a few hours here without you. Don’t you trust us?”

“Of course I do, Dean. If I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t be leaving you here on your own at all.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. So, how are things between you and Cas? Things seem to be going well.”

“Yeah, they are. We’re cool again. Everything’s great, Dad, don’t worry.”

“It’s kind of in the job description, son.”

“Well, still, we’re all fine. Doing good even.”

Bobby nods. “That’s good to know. I’m glad to hear it. You boys, all three of you have been through too much. I just want you all to be happy and healthy.”

“We are.”

“That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Well, okay then, get outta here and go have some fun.”

Bobby chuckles. “I’ll try.”

Chapter Text

As soon as their dad leaves, Dean feels odd. It feels good that his dad trusts them enough to leave them alone for a few hours, but then again he’s gotten used to him constantly being around. It’s strange being in the house with all of them except his dad, but he shrugs it off, reminding himself it’s only for a few hours.

He knocks on Sam’s door, and within seconds his baby brother is standing in the doorway with a shocked look- probably because Dean still hasn’t spoken two words to him outside of him catching Cas and Dean kissing.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, Dad’s went out for a little bit and we have the house to ourselves for a few hours. Other than that I just wanted to let you know I’m done being mad at you for the whole Ruby thing.”

“He went out? But why? Did he say where he was going?” Sam asked, worriedly.

Dean puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “He’s not john. He won’t be gone long. He’s just getting out of the house for a little while to go be around some other adults. Give him a break, it’s not like he’s made any friends yet as far as we know.”

“You’re right, I know he’s not him. Thanks for forgiving me. I really am sorry for not telling you.”

“You’re welcome. Stay outta trouble, okay?”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good.”

Dean makes his way to Cas’ door, but it’s standing open. He leans in the doorway and grins, winking at Cas when he looks up at him from his homework.

“What’s that look for?”

“Dad went out for a bit, so we have the house to ourselves til he gets back.” Dean explains, closing Cas’ door behind him and locking it.

“Ahh, is that right?” Cas asks, grinning mischievously.

“Yep, that’s right. So, whatever can we do to pass the time?”

Cas sighs, holding up his textbook. “Actually, I have homework to finish and a test to study for.”

“Come on, just give me a little bit of your time while we’re alone?” Dean asks, giving his best pout and sad eyes.

“Cut it out, you can’t just give me that look and get whatever you want, Dean.”

“Why not? It usually works.” He teases.

Cas rolls his eyes, relenting, “Fine, you have an hour of my time before I’m going back to studying.”

“Thanks babe. You won’t regret it.”

“So, what did you have in mind?” Cas asks, batting his eyelashes at Dean.

“Hmm… maybe a little of this,” he kisses Cas’ lips, then pulls back, “And a little of this,” he lightly pushes Cas’ shoulders, urging him to lay down on the bed.

“I think I like where this is headed,” Cas murmurs between kisses.

Just then there’s a knock at the door and Dean groans, dropping his head to his chest.

Cas snickers and whispers, “It’s Sam, you should see what he wants.”

“Fine,” Dean whispers back, climbing up off of Cas and making his way to the door.

“I know what you’re doing in there, don’t make me tell dad when he gets home.” Sam threatens through the door.

And just when Dean thought their fighting was over. He unlocks and then opens the door extremely annoyed until he sees Sam’s face.

“What’s wrong, Sammy?”

“Where did Dad say he was going?”

“To a bar, but again, he’s not john. We don’t have to worry about him, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

The worried and scared look on his brother’s face makes his previous frustration disappear. “Here, you wanna come in and sit with us til he gets back? Maybe we can watch a movie or something.” He offers, looking to Cas for help.

“Yeah, sure I’d love to watch a movie just the three of us. I needed a break from studying anyway, Sam, so will you join us?”

Sam looks relieved and nods. “Thanks.”

“That’s what family’s for, kid.”

*****************

Turns out Bobby is a man of his word, which Dean didn’t doubt for a minute. He gets home just after ten and tells the boys goodnight, not even smelling like alcohol at all.

Bobby goes to bed and Sam breathes a sigh of relief. “See, I told you you didn’t have anything to worry about,” Dean tells him, patting him on the back.

“Thanks for keeping me company and helping me not to worry.”

“It’s no problem.”

*********************

It starts to be a regular thing, Bobby going out for a few hours on wednesday nights. Then he starts going out on friday nights too. With each time, Sam gets less and less anxious about him coming home drunk or mean afterward.

The boys keep up the tradition of watching a movie all three of them together while their Bobby’s out and they get used to it.

The fourth week in a row after Bobby’s been going out, he sits the boys down at the kitchen table and says he wants to talk to them.

“Now, you boys know I’ve been going out for a while now to just get out of the house and go be around some other adults a couple times a week. What you don’t know is that I met someone. Her name’s Ellen. She owns the place I’ve been going, and that’s the real reason I’ve kept going back. I’ve managed to make a few friends too, but that’s not what this is about.”

“Then what’s it about?” Sam asks, confused.

“You LIKE her,” Dean teases with a wide grin.

Cas stays silent.

“Yeah, I guess I do. But before anything happens, I wanted to check with you all about how you’d feel about me dating. I know for all this time it’s just been the three of us and now it’s the four of us, but well…. I’m lonely. It’s been a long time since I lost my dear sweet Karen, and I just…” he pauses, “this is a bad idea, isn’t it?” he asks, looking mostly at Dean and Sam.

Dean shakes his head. “Actually I think it’s a great idea. If you wanna go on a date or something, then you should do it.”

Sam looks worried again, but offers a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, dad, if you wanna go on a date, then you should. You deserve to be happy.”

“Look, it’s not that you boys don’t make me happy, it’s just…” Bobby struggles.

Dean puts a hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “We get it and we’re okay with it.”

“Are you sure?” Bobby asks, mostly looking at Sam this time.

Sam nods. “We’re sure.”

Chapter Text

Sam starts sitting with Jess and Brady every day at lunch and he works hard to bring his grades up. He gets ungrounded from driving when his report card reads all A’s. Bobby couldn’t be more proud and says so. Dean even congratulates him on his achievement saying he knew all along the kid was a smarty pants.

“So what did you guys make on your English test?” Brady asks one day at lunch before taking a bite of his meatloaf.

“I made a 98,” Jess announces proudly, taking a sip of her coke.

“I got an A too,” Sam says shyly, “What about you, Brady?”

“I made an 84 and thought I was doing pretty good until here you two brainiacs come.” Brady says, laughing.

Jess shrugs. “Maybe if you studied a little harder you would have gotten an A like we did,” she tells him.

Brady rolls his eyes and Sam laughs.

*************

Later that day Sam catches Jess beside her locker and stops beside her. “Hey I’ve got a question for you.”

She looks at him playfully. “You do? Well, shoot.”

Sam takes a deep breath and looks into her beautiful brown eyes and asks, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Jess pretends to be shocked, then giggles and replies, “Yes I would,” before kissing Sam’s cheek and then walking away.

Sam inwardly celebrates and it’s all he can do to keep from jumping up and down at her reply. Instead, he just walks to his next class smiling like a fool in love.

*************

Dean and Sam race to the front door to answer when there’s a knock just before they’re sitting down for supper. They’re both shocked to see a long haired brunette standing in front of them with a wide smile. “You boys must be Dean and Sam. It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’m Ellen. And this is my daughter, Jo, and my son, Ash is at work at the bar tonight or he’d be here too. Another time for sure.”

Dean grins, “Hey Jo, how’s it going? Why didn’t I know it was your mom who’d been spending time with our dad?”

Jo sticks her tongue out at him. “I didn’t know he was your dad until she told me your names two minutes ago.”

Dean and Sam move out of the way to let them come in.

“Wait, you two know each other already?” Ellen asks, confused as they walk through the door.

“Yeah, mom, Dean is one of my friends from the creek.” Jo explains.

“Oh, okay.”

“But I’ve never met this handsome young man before. You must be little Sammy.”

Sam rolls his eyes at the nickname and scoffs. “It’s Sam,” he clarifies.

Which only serves to make Jo and Ellen both giggle.

Bobby greets Ellen with a kiss on her cheek, waving them into the dining room. “Ellen, Jo, why don’t you come in and have a seat. You’re just in time for dinner.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Ellen replies, following Bobby’s lead.

Bobby pulls out a chair for Ellen and she takes the seat. He helps her scoot it back in and Dean and Sam are grinning wide. They’ve never seen their dad like this before.

Cas walks in the room and Jo smiles, greeting him with a hug and then they both sit next to each other at the dining room table, across from Dean and Sam.

“Mom, this is Cas. Cas, this is my mom, Ellen.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellen.”

Ellen smiles warmly at him. “Likewise Cas. The pleasure’s all mine. Boy, Bobby you’ve sure got a full house tonight, don’t ya?”

“Yeah, but I don’t mind. In fact I kinda like a full house. It’s better than the quiet.”

She nods in agreement.

“Well, boys help me bring the meal in, would you?” Bobby asks, walking toward the kitchen.

All three boys stand up and so does Jo. “I can help too,” she offers.

Bobby waves at her to sit back down. “But you’re a guest here,” he insists.

Jo shrugs and sits back down while Bobby and the boys head to the kitchen.

**************

They all talk and laugh as they eat the meatloaf and sides that Bobby made and it doesn’t die down until everyone’s cleaned their plate.

“That was so good, Bobby. It’s been way too long since I’ve had a home cooked meal.”

Jo nods in agreement, “Really it was delicious,” she adds.

“We’ll have to do it again sometime when Ash can join us.”

“I’d love to meet him,” Bobby agrees.

“Thank you so much for dinner, but we better be getting home.”

Bobby blushes. “You’re welcome anytime. Let’s do this again soon.”

Once the company has left, the three boys do the dishes while Bobby wipes down the table.

“So what do you boys think of Ellen?” Bobby asks eagerly once he’s done cleaning.

“She’s great,” Sam replies.

“She seems really good for you,” Dean adds.

“I like her,” Cas chips in.

“Good, because I’d like to see her again. We’re going to start going on actual dates, not just me visiting her at work.”

Dean smiles, clapping his dad on the back. “That’s great! Really, we’re happy for you.”

Sam and Cas both nod in agreement.