Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Daichi had offered to walk him home, late one night. Practice had been good, despite their underclassmen’s usual antics, with the two newest first years turning out to be quite the brilliant duo. So much talent, for two kids so young. Especially the taller one. Tobio Kageyama, if Suga remembered correctly. He was one hell of a setter.

And it wasn’t like this was the first time Daichi had ever done this. They’d been friends since their first year, frequently walking each other home on nights they wanted to talk for just a little longer. It wasn’t far out of the way, just a few streets along. But the extra time made all the difference. 

This didn’t feel like every other time. 

It felt like they both had a million things on the tip of their tongues but neither of them dared voice them. Suga had always liked how easy Daichi was to be around, how effortless conversation always came between them. But not tonight, as they headed towards Suga’s house. Daichi looked anxious, playing with his hands as they walked in silence. His cheeks were a little flushed, not too noticeable in the fluorescent glow of the streetlights, and he was biting his lip. Sucking on it slightly as he thought. 

Cute, Suga mused, before averting his gaze. He wasn’t supposed to think like that. 

It was a warm evening. Not uncomfortably warm, but warm enough to not mind if a cool breeze happened to blow past them. Neither of them said anything, letting the rustle of leaves be the only sound that filled the night. 

It felt strange, to walk wordlessly side by side, waiting for his best friend to come up with whatever words he was trying to find, but Suga recognised when space was the best thing he could offer. He knew Daichi had something to tell him. It had been obvious for a few days, from the glances he’d been getting from his friend. 

Maybe Daichi knew. 

He didn’t let himself get too wrapped up in that thought, though. What use was worrying, when there was nothing he could do now? At best, he wouldn’t care. And at worst…

No. Daichi was a good guy. They’d been friends for too long for him to be unnecessarily cruel, even if he didn’t want to be so close anymore. 

They reached a quieter street, one with no people and a single car parked at the end of the road. They passed it often, but never had Suga appreciated how out of the way it was. There were no lights on in any of the windows, no vehicles passing through the too-narrow lanes. So when Daichi stopped here, finally looking up at him, he thought maybe he picked it specifically. 

“Suga, I…” he started, before exhaling softly. Suga couldn’t quite read his expression. He was staring at him with wide eyes, trying to convey something Suga just wasn’t getting. Was it longing that he saw there? Dread? 

“Whatever it is, it’s okay,” he said, trying to be reassuring. The corner of his lips turned up a little into a smile and Daichi mirrored it, relaxing a little. 

“I don’t know how to start.” 

The admission was quiet, vulnerable. Nothing like Daichi’s usual and consistent steadiness. Suga just nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“I… I think I’m having feelings that I shouldn’t.”

When he didn’t continue, Suga spoke. “What kind of feelings?”

There was no answer. Just Daichi’s pleading eyes, asking him to get it. Needing him to get it. 

Suga thought he did. Get it, that is. I know exactly what it’s like to feel things you shouldn’t.

Could they be thinking of the same thing?

His heart drummed a little faster as he stepped forward, trying to get a reaction. Daichi just kept staring, eyes growing wider, but he didn’t move away. He barely even blinked as Suga moved into what was clearly his personal space. 

Time didn’t feel real. 

Daichi said nothing, relaxing a little as they stayed there. Too close for this to be casual, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Suga wanted to move even closer, admit things he’d barely even admitted to himself. Wanted to reach out, put a hand on the back of his head and pull him forward, close enough to feel his breath. But he didn’t. Their entire relationship seemed to depend on however the next few moments played out, and he didn’t feel like ruining that by making an unwanted move. 

Even if Daichi was staring at him too. 

Does he want this? he wondered.

But the real question was, do I have the guts to find out?

Perhaps it was the cover of shadows, the privacy of that narrow little street with barely any light to it. Or how timeless everything felt when it was just them and the moon and no one else. But Suga found himself full of a reckless kind of courage, a boldness he didn’t think he’d possess had they been anywhere else. His feet were moving on their own accord until he was mere inches from Daichi’s face, their breaths warm in the space between them. 

“Is this okay?” he asked, so quietly he barely even heard himself. 

“Yeah,” Daichi whispered back. “You’re sure about this?”

I’ve never been more sure of anything, he wanted to say. But he didn’t, instead reaching up to cup Daichi’s face, thumb stroking his cheekbone. They were so close. All he had to do was close the gap and their lips would meet. 

Now or never , he supposed. 

The kiss was tentative. Sweet, gentle. Suga gave him every opportunity to move away, to step back and say he didn’t want this. But Daichi seemed to savour the feel of their lips together just as much as he did, leaning into the hold on his face. 

Now, Suga had kissed before. He’d kissed a girl in middle school, and one or two in the summers when his family went on holiday. He’d even kissed a boy, once. And they’d been nice, but… nothing could ever compare to this. As they pulled away, a little out of breath and grins growing wider, he found himself wondering why he hadn’t done this sooner. 

“This is not how I expected this to go,” Daichi mumbled into the space between them, red faced but unable to stop smiling. 

“What were you expecting, then, bringing me to a dark and empty street?”

The instant darkening of Daichi’s cheeks was priceless. Suga just laughed, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. 

What if they could stay like this forever? Just them, under the cover of night, letting themselves feel things they could never in the daytime?

Then Daichi’s expression sobered, and Suga’s fingers stopped in his hair. “I was expecting you to walk away after I… said it out loud.”

Suga knew what he meant. He’d thought about it far too many times, coming out to Daichi. Not all of them ended pleasantly. Nothing he’d dared dream of was as good as this. 

“Well I’m still here, aren’t I?”

The smile returned to Daichi’s face. “Yeah. You are.”

He wasn’t sure when they decided to head to Daichi’s house instead, but neither of them mentioned it. 

They walked in a comfortable kind of silence, hands brushing and their lips still parted in giddy smiles. Suga’s mind was buzzing, the phantom warmth of Daichi’s mouth still lingering on his lips, but there was also a heaviness settling in his chest that he didn’t want to think about just yet. 

What were they supposed to do now? Go back to pretending? Was this a one off thing? Suga wasn’t sure he could deal with going back to just being friends. 

Thankfully, Daichi seemed to be thinking the same thing. 

“So what now?” he asked, staring pointedly at his shoes. “I don’t want to go back to just be friends. I mean, I will if that’s what you want, but I thought that…”

“I don’t want to just be friends,” Suga assured, and Daichi gave him one of those rare, shy smiles of his. It was enough to warm Suga’s cheeks a little, the thought that he’d be seeing this smile more often.

How was I ever so lucky to find someone this beautiful who likes me too?

The heavy question was almost forgotten until Daichi cleared his throat, reminding him they still really needed to talk about this. 

“My parents would hate me if they found out about tonight.”

Suga turned to look at him, surprised at the sudden admission, but Daichi’s eyes were fixed firmly back on the ground. It wasn’t exactly news that his parents were homophobic, but to hear it outloud and put so bluntly… it felt like he was realising it for the first time all over again. 

“Yeah, mine wouldn’t be too happy either,” he said, and let that hang in the air for a while. “But I think ultimately they’d want to see me happy. Even if it took a while, I’d like to think they’d come around eventually.”

Daichi just nodded, deep in thought. They’d be turning onto his street soon. Neither of them were quite ready for this to be over, but they had to part ways eventually. 

“Would you be okay with not spreading this around?” Daichi asked tentatively after a while, and Suga couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows in response. 

“I was never going to go around announcing it, but if it makes you uncomfortable, we can just keep this between us. I wouldn’t mind.”

It’s not like some people would take it very well anyway, he didn’t add.

Suga was fully expecting that to have been the end of all conversation for tonight when Daichi spoke up once more. 

“I’d like to do this again sometime,” he said, and Suga was surprised with how much confidence he heard in his voice. “Take you out on a proper date.”

Unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. “A proper date, huh?” 

“Yeah. Flowers, chocolate – the whole charade. Would you want that?”

They’d stopped just outside Daichi’s house. The light was on in the living room, casting both their faces in pale yellow light. It all still felt a little surreal. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to end up here tonight, being asked out by his best friend and crush of two years. 

“I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Daichi’s face broke into a grin, and Suga couldn’t help but smile back. “I’ll text you, alright?” he said, backing into his front porch and towards the door. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight,” Suga called out after him. 

A proper date.

Daichi’s words echoed in his mind the whole way home. 

Chapter Text

Daichi walked into practice the next morning a little earlier than usual, wanting to get an early start to the day. 

He still couldn’t believe how well everything had gone last night. Suga had kissed him. Actually kissed him. The stupid smile on his face only grew as he kept thinking about it. 

Part of him still wondered if it was all still a terrible idea. If it had been a mistake, kissing Suga last night, then asking him out on a date. But he ignored that in favour of beaming, wanting to enjoy this happy feeling for as long as he possibly could.

“Morning, Captain,” a familiar voice called out, and Daichi’s smile widened even further.

“Suga, hey.”

Suga went over to the bench to set his water bottle down as Daichi continued to set up. The first few voices could be heard outside as the rest of the team started heading towards the club room, a reminder that he should probably school his expression a little. 

“You look like you’re in high spirits today,” Suga teased, coming up behind him. Daichi threw a ball into his hands and rolled his eyes, but that didn’t stop the warmth from spreading across his cheeks. 

“Well, I got myself a really cute date, so I think I’m allowed to be.”

It was Suga’s turn to look flustered. It was cute, the way his eyes widened just a little before he turned away. Daichi still couldn’t quite believe this was real. 

Suga had just opened his mouth to retort when a couple of the second years walked in, chatting quietly amongst themselves. It stopped them both short, their smiles dimming a little as they finished working in silence. 

What would the team say, if they knew? he wondered, glancing over at Suga whenever the other boy wasn’t looking. He’d been avoiding this specific line of thought for a long time, because in all likeliness he knew some of the guys might not be okay with it. Would they stop getting changed around them? Become distant, reserved? Would they start whispering and calling them names behind their backs, or straight up to their faces? 

Daichi had always known he’d lose things over this. People’s respect, their friendships, the casual way in which they talked to him. He’d accepted that his adult life wasn’t going to be easy, not when his parents were ashamed of him and his friends didn’t want to be near him and half of society would see him dead. But he thought he’d still have a year left without any worries. He could pretend until he left high school, come out to his parents before he went to uni and start a new life there. If some people back home still wanted to acknowledge his existence, perfect. But he hadn’t been hopeful. 

But now there was Suga. He wasn’t even sure where they stood, exactly, but he knew he didn’t want to give this up. Would Suga mind pretending too, or would he want to let his friends know? 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Ukai’s voice shouting over the first years’ bickering. 

“Captain, lead the warm up. We need to get some serious practice in if we’re going to have any chance of beating Nekoma.”

He’d texted Suga late last night, asking him to meet him after practice. He hadn’t been expecting a response, not when he’d waited until it was almost midnight to send the message, but a reply came back almost immediately. 

I’ll be there, it read. 

Daichi spent most of his afternoon classes overthinking whether Suga would even like the spot they’d be going to. It wasn’t classy or romantic like dinner somewhere or a coffee date at the mall. He’d thought it was perfect back when he asked last night, but now he was starting to doubt if it was enough. Would they get bored? Cold? 

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he left his last class, and he had to shuffle away from the stream of students heading towards the exit to check it. When he saw a single notification from Suga his heart almost stopped, assuming the worst. 

If you’re overthinking, stop. I’m sure it’ll be great. 

Suga knew him too well. 

He only became aware of the dumb smile he had plastered on his face when he felt someone stop directly behind him. 

“Daichi?”

He quickly shut his phone and turned around, only to realise it was just Yui. A small smile returned to his face as he leant back against the wall, pocketing his phone. 

“Yui, hey. Is everything alright?”

“Yes! Everything’s fine,” she said, and settled in beside him. “Don’t you have to be at practice?”

“Yeah, but I have a few minutes.” 

He and Yui had been friends since middle school. It was easy being around her; no pressure to do or be anyone. He didn’t have to pretend to be interested in her, didn’t have to talk about girls or dating or marriage. They barely talked about those kinds of things at all, he realised. It was always more about volleyball, or upcoming exams. 

She had almost been the first person he told. He’d thought about it a lot, playing scenario after scenario in mind until he couldn’t take overthinking anymore. It would make sense to tell her first. He was pretty sure she was least likely to treat him any differently. But in the end he’d chosen Suga. 

The reason was dumb. He thought that if Suga walked away, maybe he could take it as a sign that he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. Maybe he could live with it, ignore it, never have to let anyone know. 

That had backfired tremendously, considering he now had a date. 

“Is something on your mind?” she asked, bringing him back to the present. He startled a little at the sound of her voice. 

“I was just thinking about practice.”

She accepted his change of topic without question. “Is it going well?”

“Yeah, actually. The new first years have a lot of potential.”

“That's amazing! You’ll probably have a good year.”

He chuckled, and she laughed a little too. “Let’s hope so.”

The crowd had thinned in front of them, now walking at a regular pace instead of the strange shuffle that happened when the corridor was overpacked. He straightened himself up and she did the same, a silent understanding that this is where they’d part ways. 

“Well, I’d better get to practice. See you around,” he called out, and she waved back at him. 

“Bye, Daichi!”

Practice was a complete blur. 

He paid attention to very little of it, too wrapped up in his own head to notice what was going on. Suga had to nudge him a few times to bring him back to the present, but no one else seemed to notice he was out of it today. 

“Well done, guys. That’s all for tonight,” Suga called out, to the relieved sighs and general grumbling of the second and first years respectively. He helped Daichi put the last of the balls away, probably waiting for the rest of the team to filter out of the gym, before stopping by the exit and waiting. “Where are you taking me, then?”

Daichi tried his best to swallow down his nerves as he closed the storage room door. It was just Suga, after all. Nothing was really awkward around him anymore. 

“I thought we could get some meat buns then walk up to this playground I used to go to all the time. I know it’s not the most romantic of places, but it’ll be quiet. There’s quite a nice view, too.”

Suga just smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

So that’s how they ended up on the roof of a climbing frame, eating their meat buns and laughing about nothing in particular. 

It was almost completely dark now, the first few stars beginning to dot the sky. The playground was high enough in the mountain and far away away enough from all the streetlights and cars for them to see the night sky clearly, something Daichi couldn’t remember doing since he’d last been here. 

They’d watched the sunset on the walk here. Made a game out of spotting funny shaped clouds, laughing at the silly things they managed to come up with. Suga had sworn he’d seen one that looked just like the vice principal, but when he’d pointed it out the wind had moved it enough that it looked more like a whale head, or a very misshapen fish. 

“That should’ve counted!” he’d exclaimed. “It looked exactly like him.”

“It looks like a disfigured pancake.”

There was a moment of silence where he’d been convinced he’d won, until Suga snorted. “Well…”

“You probably shouldn’t say whatever you’re about to say out loud.”

That just made Suga laugh even more. “Yeah, probably shouldn’t.” In the end, he’d won twelve ten to Daichi. 

They settled into a comfortable silence up on the roof, changing intermittently between stargazing, stealing glances at each other and eating their food. Suga finished his first, popping the last bit into his mouth before folding the paper bag up and tucking it into his pocket. 

“How did you find this place?”

Daichi turned his head a little to look at him, but he was staring up at the sky. 

“I don’t know, actually. Stumbled across it one day. I used to come out here to think whenever I needed to get out of the house, or just wanted to be alone for a bit.” Suga simply hummed in response, so he continued. “No one ever comes out here. I’ve never seen a single kid on this playground, it’s always just middle schoolers with their bikes stopping here during the day.”

Suga shifted a little, bringing his arms to rest behind his head. “It feels like we’re the only two people alive.”

“It’s kind of why I chose it.”

Suga turned to look at him at that, lips curling into a smile. His gaze kept flickering across Daichi’s face, seemingly searching for something, expression unreadable. Daichi just waited.

It wasn’t until Suga’s eyes fell to his lips that understanding finally dawned, and it was all he could do not to grab Suga’s face and kiss him right there. But he wanted to draw this out a little, see how far he could push it before Suga said something. 

Daichi took his time coming up to lean on his elbow, unable to stop a smile from forming as he ended up almost directly above Suga’s face. He could feel Suga’s breath quicken just a little, anticipation building as his eyes widened and his lips parted. All rational thought was abandoned as he took in the sight before him, and no amount of willpower could’ve stopped him from closing the gap right there and then. 

The kiss started off slow and chase to begin with but gradually got deeper as Daichi pressed forward, needing to feel more of Suga against him. He did worry, briefly, if Suga was okay with this, but then he felt the tip of Suga’s tongue slide over lips, teasingly at first but then a more firm request for entry, and decided that if Suga wanted to slow down he’d say something. He let himself melt a little further with each kiss, relishing in the way Suga’s hands came up to move through his hair. He wanted nothing more than to stay here forever, sharing passionate kisses under the night sky with no one to answer to, no one to explain himself to or apologise for. 

When Suga pulled away Daichi shifted back a little to allow for a better view of his face. He scanned it carefully for any sign of discomfort but was met instead with a lazy smile, and nothing but happiness radiating off his face. Daichi allowed himself to relax too, coming back down to lie full on the roof. 

“You know, this might just be one of the best dates I’ve ever been on,” Suga said, moving closer til his head was in the crook of Daichi’s neck, resting on his shoulder. “Except you missed out the chocolates. And the flowers.”

He knew Suga was just teasing, but he felt the need to say something anyway. 

“Actually, I have chocolate. And flowers.”

Suga looked up at him with eyebrows raised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, before moving carefully away from Suga and sitting up. They were a lot higher up than he remembered. “Give me second.”

He climbed down with practiced ease and landed on the grass, right where they’d discarded their school bags earlier on. He rifled through the front pocket of his messenger bag until he managed to fish out a little box of chocolates he’d picked up on his way to school. 

“Chocolates for one Sugawara Koushi,” he said, handing it up to where Suga was now sitting. He took the box and turned it in his hands, glancing between Daichi and the colourfully packaged box, a telltale blush already spreading across his cheeks. 

“You didn’t have to, you know.”

“I know,” he said. “I wanted to.” He watched as the blush only deepened. Suga fiddled a little with the box before opening it, taking a moon shaped one and popping it into his mouth in one go. The contented hum that came from above him was enough to reassure Daichi he’d picked the right box. “Don’t forget your flowers.”

“Flowers?” Suga echoed, leaning over the side to get a better view of what Daichi was doing, only to laugh a little as he saw him picking little daisies out of the grass. 

Daichi straighten up, holding out half a dozen little stalks. “I did tell you I’d get flowers.”

Suga took the miniature bouquet between his thumb and forefinger, bringing them up to his nose to sniff. 

“Thanks. For all of this,” he said, as Daichi climbed back up onto the roof. Daichi lay back down and waited for Suga to snuggle into the crook of his neck, liking the way the warm breath felt on his shoulder. 

“No problem,” he mumbled into Suga’s hair, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. He’d need to come up with a very good excuse as to why he’s out so late later, but right now all he wanted to do was enjoy the moment. 

He’d have time for worrying when he got home. 

Chapter Text

“Where have you been?”

Daichi froze at the sound of his mother’s voice, blood chilling and heart rate spiking, but he quickly forced himself to relax and keep undoing his shoes. The more flustered he looked, the more suspicious it would seem. 

“Well?” she asked again, stepping out from the kitchen so she was standing directly in front of him. “It’s almost eight, Daichi. I called you twice and you didn’t answer.”

Fuck. 

He quickly scrambled for an excuse. “Sorry. It must’ve died a little after practice,” he said, and she seemed to accept that. He got up with his shoes in hand and put them away, before giving his mother the most normal expression he could muster. “Some of the team wanted to go out after practice and I said I’d join them. I’m sorry, I must’ve lost track of time.”

She didn’t seem to pick up on his restlessness. Her shoulders relaxed a little, frown dissipating as she shot him an exasperated look. “Well, at least you had fun with your friends. But you need to remember to call me!”

“Sorry, ma.”

She smiled at that, coming forward to plant a small kiss on his cheek in greeting, before ushering him upstairs to put his stuff away before dinner.

He reached his room and put his bag down by his bed, letting it drop more roughly than was strictly necessary. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he decided he should probably put it to charge, as well as that whoever was texting would just have to wait until later to get a reply.

Everything was hitting him all at once, and in all honesty, he wasn’t sure how he felt. 

He was supposed to be happy.

He knew that. He knew that after such an amazing night he was supposed to beaming, to feel like the luckiest guy alive. Because he was. Not everyone got to spend their late afternoons laughing on the roofs of old playgrounds, on a date with one of the greatest people alive. He knew that. He knew that he was lucky. But somehow, he didn’t feel happy. It felt like his stomach was twisting into knots that he didn’t know how to untie, that any minute now his mother would come up the stairs and tell him she knew, she knew he’d been out with Suga and not with the rest of the team, knew he’d flirted with him and laughed with him and kissed him. 

It all just felt so much more real now. Not like a single kiss in a darkened street and the idea of a date to hold onto. They were actually doing this. He was letting himself fall harder and harder and he wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to do. 

Maybe he should just be happy. Stop worrying so much about what his parents could say. It’s not like they knew, right? It’s not like anyone could even tell them. 

His mother’s voice startled him more than he’d care to admit. 

“Daichi? Dinner’s ready. Get your brothers to come down too,” she called out, and he had no choice but to move. 

I could always say I’m not hungry, he reasoned. It would be easier to just hide in his room. But he’d already been late home, and those meat buns had been hours ago. He could at least make an effort. 

How bad can it even be?

Dinners at the Sawamura household were always a lively affair. Daichi’s younger brothers were rarely quiet enough to make dinner a peaceful family time, instead filling their small kitchen with theories and stories and the sound of cutlery hitting glass. 

It makes a funny sound, they’d said innocently, after he’d told them they’d break something if they weren’t careful. 

Their father always sat at the head of the table, eating his dinner mostly in silence as he listened and nodded to the chatter around him. He made little noises of agreement now and then but rarely offered his own commentary on anything he didn’t deem worth responding to. It wasn’t purposefully cold, exactly, it was just the way he was. 

It was their mother who always asked things, even if it was their father who seemed most interested in the answer. She told them how her day had gone and asked about school, about practice, about their friends and teachers. It was she who smiled at the twins’ antics and winked at Daichi when they asked her to play along. She’d always been far more actively involved in their lives, and that’s how Daichi had come to expect it to be. 

Which is why he almost thought he’d misheard when his father turned towards him about halfway through dinner. 

“So, son… do you have your eyes on a girl yet?”

He’d said it casually, like it was the most normal thing for a father to ask his son. Which Daichi supposed it was. This doesn’t mean anything, he assured himself as he tried to remember how to breathe. 

“There are some very nice girls in my class,” he managed, and his mother beamed up at him. It wasn’t a lie. There were a lot of nice girls in his class. He just didn’t want to date them. 

His father made a noncommittal noise of approval, and continued to eat his dinner. 

“Any girls in particular?” his mother asked, shooting him a knowing look. He smiled back, playing along, wishing more than anything that the knot in his stomach would disappear so he would stop feeling so sick. 

“Not really, no. I’ve got the team right now, and exams coming up later in the year. Just haven’t been thinking about girls much.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

Daichi stopped eating to stare up at his father, who was still eating as normal. No one else seemed to be taking it as a big deal that he was actually giving some input in their lives. 

He was probably overreacting. Almost definitely overreacting. But it felt like everything meant something, now that he had just gone out on a date with Suga. Like it was written on his face, that he had disappointed them both and could never fix it. 

“Yeah, I will,” he answered vaguely. Luckily, his brothers were masterful at changing the direction of conversation. 

“Girls are gross,” Haruo said, successfully turning all attention away from him. 

Both their parents frowned. “No they’re not!” Yusei replied. “Girls are pretty.” 

“They like pink stuff and romance. It’s all gross.”

“How are you supposed to kiss girls if you don’t do romance? It’s not like you can just-”

Daichi zoned out of their bickering. Girls were gross. Not because of anything they did, but… the very thought of doing anything more than holding hands with one made him extremely uncomfortable. Which in turn made him feel even sicker, because that wasn’t the kind of thing you were supposed to just think. 

Eating any more food felt like a bad idea right now. 

“Ma? I think something I ate earlier with the guys didn’t land very well. Can I be excused?” he asked, and his mother frowned in concern. 

“Of course. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m okay, just… don’t feel like eating.”

She nodded and let him go. 

Back in his room, he let the door close behind before collapsing onto his bed, the sickening feeling only getting worse now that he could mull his thoughts over in peace. 

He hated feeling so much without knowing how to deal with it. 

The guilt stung hardest. Guilt for disappointing his parents, for liking boys instead of girls like he’s always been told he’s supposed to. But also guilt for feeling ashamed, for not wanting to bring Suga over and telling everyone about him. For only being himself when the sky was dark and there was no one else around, where he could delude himself that what they were doing was okay. 

Because it wasn’t. 

Not really, anyways. And not just because it was wrong, or at least it felt that way a lot of the time… no, what they were doing wasn’t okay because Suga deserved better. Better than someone who was scared to hold his hand anywhere other than in an abandoned park, late at night, where no one could ever see them. And they’d only been on one date, but Suga would figure it out. That he was terrified of how he felt. Of what his parents would do if they found out. 

This was not how he’d planned his life.

His phone buzzed again beside him and he picked it up, unplugging it before putting in the code. A message from Nishinoya on the volleyball club chat, a video of two cats playing with bubble wrap from a classmate of his. A single, unread message from Suga. 

Daichi turned it off without looking at it. 

Chapter Text

It was the afternoon after their date, and Daichi was avoiding him. 

Not noticeably, mind. He was normal enough during morning practice. A little distant, maybe, but Suga choked that up to nerves about raising suspicion. But when he didn’t show up in their usual spot to go for lunch, and no one seemed to have seen him since class ended, Suga started to wonder if something had gone wrong. 

Have I said something? Done something, maybe? Was the goodnight text too much? Not enough? 

He unlocked his phone and reread it for the millionth time since sending it last night. 

I had fun today, it said. Goodnight. 

Short and simple. Not suspicious if it were seen. He thought it had been fine. But Daichi still hadn’t replied, despite reading it just over an hour ago. 

Suga wanted to ask if he’d gotten something wrong. There wasn’t that much he could’ve screwed up between last night and now, was there? Daichi had looked so happy. More at ease than Suga had ever seen him, apart from maybe a few occasions after winning difficult games. He couldn’t have misread that, right? Completely missed something he should’ve seen coming?

Maybe he just didn’t want to do this. 

He shook his head, trying to snap out of it. There was always the very real possibility he was completely overthinking this and nothing was wrong, but now that the thoughts were there he couldn’t exactly turn them off. 

Suga was starting to wonder if he should eat his lunch alone when his phone lit up, two texts coming in one after the other. 

Daichi  

(2) unread messages

Sorry for being weird. Can we talk?

I’m at the usual place. 

It did nothing to quash his fears, but at least this was something.

They’d first found the place about a year ago. An overgrown patch of grass just behind the main school, complete with a little bench that must’ve been at least twenty years old. It was supposed to be a shortcut between the main building and the field but no one ever seemed to pass by it, making it the perfect place to hang out without anyone else finding them. 

When he got there Daichi was already sitting on the bench, elbows on his knees as he stared at the ground. His lunch sat untouched beside him, in the same brown paper bag his mother always packed it. It was obvious that whatever this was about, it was serious. 

Suga joined him on the bench but said nothing. He’d decided to leave a fair amount of space between them, just in case someone did happen to pass them, but really he wanted nothing more than to take his hand and hold it until whatever was wrong passed. Until no one could doubt how Suga felt. 

But he couldn’t, so he didn’t. 

Daichi had looked up as he said down, mouth turning up into a tired smile. He looked scared, like he was going into something he knew wouldn’t end well, and Suga didn’t like it. He hated that look.  

“You wanted to talk?”

Daichi shifted a little, eyes turning back to the ground. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “I guess I just want to know where we stand? And how you feel about keeping us a secret. I know you might not want to, and that’s fine, but… I can’t have anyone know. Not right now. And if that’s a deal breaker I’m sorry, it's really not that I don’t like you but I’m just not-”

“Daichi,” Suga said, and Daichi stopped in his tracks. His eyes were wide, panicked. An expression so foreign on his face that Suga couldn’t help the urge to do something about it, to reassure him that it was okay. 

He slid a little closer and put his hand around Daichi’s, slowly so he could pull away if he wanted. He didn’t. He just kept staring at their entwined fingers, before looking up to meet Suga’s eyes.

“I get it, okay? And seeing as you’re asking…” Suga started, squeezing his hand gently. “I really like you too. And no, I don’t mind not telling anyone. I knew from the start you probably wouldn’t want to and I’m okay with it. I don’t need the whole world to know that you’re my boyfriend.”

Daichi’s breath hitched a little on the last word, but it wasn’t a negative reaction. 

“What? You are my boyfriend, right?”

“Yeah,” he said after a beat, visibly relaxing as a blush crept across his cheeks. Suga couldn’t help but feel a little pride in it. “I just wasn’t expecting you to say it so outright.”

“You should know by now that I’m pretty forward.” They both laughed at that, and all tension seemed to bleed out of the air. Suga took a moment to appreciate the scene, of Daichi’s smile growing wider and hair being messed up by the wind, before letting his expression sober a little. “Just… tell me if there’s anything you’re uncomfortable with doing, so we’re always on the same page. Okay?”

His boyfriend nodded. “Okay.”

He couldn’t quite explain the warmth in his chest as he opened up his lunch, hand slipping out of Daichi’s as they started a comfortable conversation. They were okay. He hadn’t done anything wrong, and Daichi still wanted to be with him.

And maybe he should’ve felt… something about Daichi not wanting to tell anyone. But he found that he really didn’t care, so long as they could still have this - quiet moments where it was just them, and nothing else seemed to matter. He found he really didn’t need the world to know to be able to enjoy this.

They had a long conversation late that night, first about boundaries and then about their fears, what they thought people would say or think or do if they found out. It wasn’t an easy conversation to have, not when they knew a lot of people around them could very well react terribly, but Suga was still glad they did. It put a lot of things into perspective, things he hadn’t really previously thought about. 

My parents would take it horribly, Daichi had said, speaking softly into the phone. My mum would cry. A lot. Maybe tell me I’m just confused, or haven’t found the right girl. But my dad… 

The breath he’d taken shook a little, and Suga had wanted nothing more than to be there beside him. 

I don’t know what my dad would do. He might ignore me, pretend I never said it, or stop talking to me completely. He might spit in my face and  kick me out or call me every filthy name under the sun, but I really just don’t know. My mum always says it’s inappropriate, whenever we happen to see a couple like us around. Shields the twins’ eyes and keeps moving. But my dad’s not like that. He doesn’t say what he thinks. I’ve always known he hates people like me, but I don’t know how much or how he’d show it if I ever told him. And honestly… I’m not sure I want to find out. 

He’d sounded so broken as he said it. Like he’d already accepted that there was no way coming out would end well and moved past the hope that things might not be so terrible, ending up instead at a strange mix of guilt and fear and resignation. It destroyed Suga a little, that this is what Daichi had to live with. The knowledge that he likely wouldn’t have a family to return to if he ever decided to tell them the truth. 

It made more sense, having heard all of that, why it was so important to him that they kept what they had quiet. 

Suga figured his own family wouldn’t be overjoyed either, but he couldn’t see them hating him. His parents were both very soft spoken people, and rarely had anything bad to say about anyone. It might take them a beat to wrap their heads around it, but he was pretty sure they already suspected he wasn’t straight. 

They hung up sometime around 1am, exhausted but content. There wasn’t anyone else they could have these kinds of conversations with. Suga knew that tomorrow he’d go right back to playful teasing and poking fun, but right then he let himself enjoy the openness, reassured that whatever happened, he could always talk to Daichi. 

Chapter Text

It had been eight weeks since their first date, and life could not have been going better. 

Home was still sometimes hard. He felt like a stranger there, pretending to be someone he didn’t really recognise. His parents couldn’t seem to stop asking about which girls he was interested in and when he was finally going to get a date, which frustrated him on good days and scared him on bad. Sometimes he’d lie, say he had his eye on one of the girls in his class, which always seemed to work for a few days. It was all a little exhausting to think about, so he tried not to. 

But as soon as he turned up at school, all those worries dissipated. He and Suga had made it a habit to turn up at practice early every day, where they shared a quick good morning kiss and got changed before heading to the gym to set up. Those few minutes at the start of each morning were often the highlight of his day, where it was just him and Suga and an uncooperative net in the empty gym, and he often took advantage of those moments to just enjoy his boyfriend’s company. 

“Two month anniversary tomorrow,” Suga said as they finally got the net up, and Daichi just smiled. He’d taken Suga back to that playground for their one month anniversary and they’d spent hours talking about nothing in particular, having grabbed takeout and a rather large box of chocolates on the way. He’d made a point of getting some actual flowers that time too, a little bouquet of pink and white plants that he couldn’t really name. Suga had seemed happy enough, though, so it didn’t really matter. 

Now, a month later, they’d agreed Suga was taking them both somewhere to celebrate. Daichi had to admit he was excited even if a little apprehensive, still not sure what excuse he was going to use to get a few hours after school to go out. But Suga had looked so pleased with himself when he’d announced he knew exactly where he was taking them, so Daichi let himself forget everything else and focused purely on the prospect of spending tomorrow afternoon with his boyfriend. 

“You’ve been reminding me all week,” he said, and Suga tossed a ball at him. He caught it, barely, and laughed. “It’s not like I’m going to forget.”

Suga huffed. “Excuse me for being excited.” 

There was no bite behind the words, just the usual mock annoyance he used to tease. Daichi’s smile grew a little wider, unable to help the fondness he felt. 

He was the luckiest guy in the world. There was no doubt about it; he’d won whatever boyfriend lottery existed out there. He couldn’t wait until the day he could take his hand and hold it proudly. Until he could kiss him in the hall and no one would bat an eye. Suga was something to be proud of. 

He wished everyone saw it like that. 

“What’re you looking so happy for?” Suga asked, giving him a little smirk out of the corner of his mouth as he turned around, having noticed the first years streaming in before Daichi. They seemed distracted enough with whatever Hinata was babbling on about that Daichi came up to stand behind Suga, mouth a few inches from his ear. 

“Maybe I’m just realising I have the hottest boyfriend in the world.”

If he was going to say things like that with the first years just across the gym, he certainly wasn’t going to show it. He walked away without looking back at the inevitable blush spreading across Suga’s face, smug with the knowledge that his smirk was undoubtedly gone.

The morning passed in a blur. By the time midday rolled around he’d barely registered the passing hours, and was surprised when the bell rang out for the end of morning classes. He packed his books up quickly and grabbed his lunch, hoping to be a little early to the spot where he and Suga usually met, before remembering they weren’t eating together today. Suga had promised to help a classmate with revision over lunch, so he was on his own. 

Daichi ended up sitting with Yui and her friends, listening to them talk without imputing much into the conversation. It was nice, sitting there in the courtyard, listening to them comment on that morning’s lessons and the homework they still had due with far more enthusiasm than he could’ve ever mustered. They didn’t seem to mind that he didn’t have much to say, either, which was always a plus. Some boys in their year joined them about halfway through and introductions were made, and even though he’d rather have been eating with Suga, Yui’s friends all seemed nice enough. 

“Takahashi,” one of the boys had said to him, extending his hand. Daichi took it and smiled politely as the boy slipped in beside him, lunch in hand. “You’re the captain of the volleyball team, right?”

“Yeah,” he replied simply, and the boy nodded. 

“I’ve heard good things about you guys.” 

The conversation went from there, as they started discussing the season as it was and the strengths and weaknesses of other schools. The boy knew a surprising amount about volleyball, and was eager to ask about anything he didn’t get. 

What do pinch servers do? Who’s the strongest player in the prefecture? Do you think you guys can make it to nationals?

The enthusiasm reminded Daichi of Hinata, a little. 

“So… what got you interested in the game?” he asked, once the string of questions had turned into more thoughtful commentary. It was refreshing, hearing options from a spectator’s perspective, even if it wasn’t always that accurate. 

“Michimiya talks a lot about volleyball. I thought I might look into it,” the boy replied. Yui blushed a little from a little further down the table and Daichi couldn’t help but smile, saving this new discovery for another conversation. 

The rest of the day passed quickly, and before he knew it an alarm was going off somewhere to his left, loudly reminding him he had to get up and go to school. He reached over to turn it off before rolling back over, hoping to get a few more seconds of sleep before he had to move. 

Wait. 

His eyes shot open and he made a grab for his phone, messing up the passcode before he managed to get it to unlock. Uncoordinated fingers fumbled to get the right contact up, and sure enough, he had an unread message from Suga. 

Good morning handsome ;)

His heart did a funny little thing as he saw the winky face, and he wasn’t quite sure if it was excitement or anxiety. 

They were never this flirty over text. If his parents found this he’d be dead on the spot. But it couldn’t hurt to indulge a little, would it? It was their anniversary, after all. 

Good morning urself, he typed back. He was sure it was a terrible way to respond, but it’s not like he had any practice. Maybe Suga could just take the wheel on this one. 

What? No “ur handsome too”? I feel betrayed. 

Daichi laughed, because only Suga could ever say something like that at ungodly hours of the morning and still sound mildly affronted.

It’s too early to b witty right now, he wrote, and he could practically imagine Suga’s eyes rolling on the other side of the screen. But if u must k, I always think u look like an angel.

He watched the little dots blink on the screen, expecting a long answer from the amount of time it was taking, but only a single word came back. 

Dork. 

He cracked another smile at that. 

“Daichi? Are you up yet?” his mother called from downstairs, and his smile quickly vanished as he moved to turn his phone off. It was dumb and he knew it, considering she wasn’t even coming up here, but it had become reflexive at this point. 

“I’m awake,” he called back. There seemed to be no sounds of footsteps on the stairs, so he opened Suga’s contact back up and quickly sent him two texts. 

I gtg get ready
happy anniversary <3

He didn’t wait for a reply, instead dragging himself out of bed and dropping his phone into his bag so he wouldn’t forget it. He’d look at it again later, once he was at school, and there was no one to look over his shoulder and ask why he was smiling. 

The club room was practically empty when he got there that afternoon, a welcome change from the usually loud chatter of the first and second years. He unlocked his phone to see if he’d missed anything important between lunch and now, and frowned when he saw the number of notifications he had. 

Asahi had texted him last night saying he’d have to leave afternoon practice a little early, something about helping his uncle with something. It seems he’d then announced it on the chat, which was probably the worst thing he could've done, because now there were almost six hundred messages that Daichi barely understood a word of. He skipped over most of them before turning it back off, dropping it into his bag with a satisfying thunk. 

That’s a problem for later, he decided, and started to get changed. 

Not even two minutes had gone by when the rest of the team turned up, filling the quiet space with bickering and bad jokes. Suga gave him a smile that mirrored his own exasperated expression, before moving to the other side of the room to change. 

“No way!” he heard Hinata exclaim from inside his shirt, where he’d managed to put an arm into the wrong hole. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at the scene and turned away, but it was pretty clear most of the team was now listening. 

“Don’t yell so loudly, you idiot,” Kageyama muttered from beside him, but Hinata didn’t seem to get the message. 

“That’s so cool though! I didn’t know you could do that,” he continued, bringing his shirt over his head correctly and beaming up at Kageyama. The taller boy looked like he wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground. 

“Do what?” Tanaka asked. 

Before he could answer Kageyama shoved a water bottle into his hands and stalked out of the room, Hinata scrambling to follow. 

“I don’t get those two,” Ennoshita said, but most people had already lost interest. 

“Ready to go?”

Suga had been buzzing all through practice, Daichi recognising the extra energy as a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Now that it was finally over he looked more agitated than ever, but that didn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face as he saw Daichi coming down the steps from the clubroom. 

“Don’t you look handsome with your hair all over the place?” he teased, and Daichi couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at the steps behind him. “Come on, relax. Everyone’s gone. Take the compliment.”

He reached up to further mess up Daichi’s hair but his boyfriend ducked, frowning a little. “It’s sweaty.”

“So?” 

His hands successfully landed in Daichi’s hair before he could react and ruffled it even further, both of them laughing as Daichi tried to get him back. 

“Stop moving!”

Suga just laughed harder and dodged his hand again, and Daichi ended up giving up. As they continued to walk towards the school gates he caught sight of Suga’s face in the fading daylight, smile as radiant as the sun shining on it, and had to remind himself to breathe. 

It’s been two months and sometimes I still can’t believe I got this lucky. 

Chapter Text

Suga’s fingers brushed his as they walked down the winding, narrow street, taking in the city lights below them. They’d made it a fair way up the mountain and he still had no idea where they were going, with Suga refusing to spoil the surprise. 

“Be patient,” he’d said. “It’s no fun if I just tell you.”

That had been ten minutes ago, and they looked no closer to reaching any kind of date-appropriate place. They just kept passing street upon street of houses, and somehow he doubted they were going to have their date in the middle of a residential area. 

“Are we going to have a picnic on someone’s front lawn?”

Suga rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand, taking a turn into a dimly lit street. The only light was coming from the front windows of the various little shops and houses, all still open in the late afternoon. It reminded him a little of where they first kissed, and thought maybe this is why Suga chose it.

“We’re almost there,” Suga said. “Just a little further.”

When they finally stopped it was in front of a small restaurant, brightly lit but with a homey feel to it. Not the kind of thing you noticed if you were just passing by, but likely popular enough with the people living around here. Daichi wondered how Suga had even found it, hidden away as it was.

“Ta da,” his boyfriend said, holding his arm out dramatically. “See? The suspense didn’t kill you.”

“It could’ve,” he retorted, but there were other things on his mind at that moment. 

If he was being honest, he didn’t love the the idea of spending their date around other people. Never had they done anything even vaguely romantic in a public space. What if someone saw them? Recognised them? They weren’t that far from school. What if strangers saw them holding hands and felt the need to say something?

But he wanted this. Wanted to have dinner with his boyfriend like any other couple and not be afraid. There isn’t much that could go wrong, is there?

His mind helpfully supplied him with all the ways that yes, this could go very wrong, but he swallowed that anxiety down and gave Suga a smile. 

“Should we go in?”

Suga seemed to sense something was up. It was like he could read his mind sometimes, when he couldn’t find the words to tell Suga what he was thinking himself. Suga just knew. He gave Daichi’s hand a small squeeze, his favourite way of offering reassurance, and turned to face his boyfriend. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Daichi nodded sincerely. Their hands slipped apart and Suga reached for the handle, pulling the door open easily, and little bell announcing their arrival jingled above the door.

“Just remember the moment you feel uncomfortable we can just go,” Suga added quietly as he passed, and the knowledge that he meant it eased Daichi’s nerves a little. 

As soon as they walked in a million different scents hit him all at once, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of home. Of his mother’s cooking when he was younger, recipes from a cookbook they hadn’t opened in years. The place looked wonderful. Suga was wonderful. 

“Gentlemen! Welcome,” a man said, coming out from a door labelled ‘staff only’. He was short and stout, with a greying moustache and black apron tied behind him, what Daichi could only assume was the restaurant name embroidered on the front. “Come with me.”

He led them to a table at the back, in a little corner mostly hidden from the rest of the restaurant. There weren’t many customers in here anyways, Daichi noticed. Maybe it was still a little early for most people to be eating out. 

“Thank you,” Suga said to the man, who gave him a warm smile as he reached into his apron pocket. He pulled out a lighter and held it up to the candle in the middle of the table, lighting it easily before stepping back to admire his work. 

“There,” he said proudly. “I know young love when I see it. Take a seat, someone’ll be by to bring you menus soon.”

As he walked away, Daichi could only stare, red faced, not quite sure how he felt about this man knowing he and Suga were together. Suga seemed to be fine, however, laughing at Daichi’s dumbstruck expression as he pulled his chair out and sat down, so Daichi decided to follow his lead. 

“So? What do you think?”

Suga didn’t show it, but Daichi could tell he was nervous. “It’s perfect,” he said, and in a split-second decision he stretched his hand out, open for Suga to take it. His boyfriend did, smiling a little at the gesture. “How did you find this place anyways?”

“My parents know the owners,” he said, glancing over at the man now speaking to a small family. “He and his husband set this place up a few years ago when they moved here. We used to eat here sometimes, when it was less busy. I guess now people have stopped caring as much if their food was made by two gay guys, or else they’ve mostly forgotten.”

Daichi wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just squeezed Suga’s hand.

“Why do you think people hate us so much?” he asked quietly after a moment, not meeting Suga’s eyes. “What do they think is so wrong with it?”

Suga pursed his lips at the question, biting the corner of his mouth in thought. “I think they just find it easier to hate what they don’t understand. Understanding takes effort, and I guess a lot of people would rather stay ignorant than set aside their prejudices.”

Daichi nodded, but before he could say anything else, a much younger man approached them with two menus. They both straightened a little in their chairs and their hands slipped out of the loose hold they’d kept them in, which the young man clearly noticed but didn’t acknowledge. 

“Your menus,” he said, and gave them both a friendly smile. Suga took them and thanked him, with much less awkwardness than Daichi would’ve managed. “Let me know when you’re ready to order.”

With that he walked away, and Daichi’s eyes fell back to the spot where their hands had been. 

He hated that he felt the need to do that. Recoil, move away. Like touching Suga was something dirty and wrong and he should be ashamed of himself for doing it in public. Hated that he’d expected the waiter to look disgusted, hated that his heart was beating a little faster. He loved Suga. He wasn’t ready to admit it, but he did. And it wasn’t wrong. Couldn’t be wrong. Something that felt this right couldn’t be so terrible. 

If you really believe that, why do you act so ashamed?

Suga seemed to read his mind, bringing his hand back to where it was, an offering of sorts. An I want this, but it’s okay if you don’t. Daichi could’ve easily ignored it. And this kind of little gesture is probably why he was completely head over heels for this boy. There was never any pressure to be something else around him. 

His hand came to rest on top of Suga’s, and they shared a small smile before turning to their menus.

“I do not understand how you can eat that,” Suga said, frowning as Daichi digs into his food.

“It’s amazing. My mum used to make it when I was a kid,” Daichi said between mouthfuls, but Suga still looked skeptical. “It’s not like you can say anything. I can’t even name half of what you’re eating.”

“It’s called having taste,” Suga said, and Daichi almost snorted. You could call a lot of things about Suga tasteful, but certainly not his food choice. 

“Says the guy who thinks super spicy mapo tofu is a culinary masterpiece .”

“I never said that!”

“Yes you did. At that corner place by the school, you said-”

“Fine,” Suga interrupted, pouting. “But it’s still better than ramen.”

“Nothing is better than ramen.”

Daichi’s serious expression lasted exactly eight seconds, and then they were both laughing again.

They talked about nothing in particular as they continued to eat, conversation flowing easily. Went from school work to upcoming tests to plans for the future, for the volleyball club, for life after Karasuno. 

The restaurant had grown more busy around them, small families and couples being shown to the tables near them. Daichi didn’t mind, not at first, but when he felt the eyes of a couple and their little boy on them both, and caught the beginning of a whispered conversation, he suddenly started feeling a lot more self-conscious. 

Suga, perfect as ever, recognised that it might be a good time to leave.

“Want to stop by the corner shop and get ice lollies on the way home?” he asked, and Daichi gave him a grateful smile. 

“That’d be perfect.”

Suga craned his neck to get a better view around Daichi, trying to catch the attention of a waiter so they could ask for the check. Daichi couldn’t help but smile at how normal this looked, felt… maybe they could do this again sometime. Somewhere no one knew them, and they could just be themselves. 

“Uh… Daichi?”

His smile fell as he caught sight of Suga’s expression, feeling his stomach sink. Suga was staring over his shoulder, eyes wide and a little panicked, his hand slipping off the table to rest on his lap. Daichi turned around, expecting the very worst, and practically stopped breathing when he saw him. 

Asahi was standing just a few feet away, wearing the same black apron as the man from earlier, staring at them with an unreadable expression. Daichi’s chest began to constrict, blind panic ceasing him, and it was all he could do to maintain some level of composure as Asahi continued to stare, none of them moving. 

That’s it. It’s all over now. 

Chapter Text

Suga could tell that Daichi was one wrong move away from a panic attack, and that thought was so completely opposite to everything he’d come to think of him that he had no idea what to do. His first instinct was to reach out, hold his hand and remind him he was still here. But in this particular situation, such an obvious display might just make everything worse. 

Asahi seemed to realise that he was just standing there and began to move towards them, awkwardly dodging a passing guy before finally reaching them. It was mortifying, watching him come over in almost slow motion, but Suga knew that he had to get his head on straight. Whatever he was feeling, Daichi was probably feeling it twice as bad. 

“Sorry, I… I just didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Asahi managed once he’d reached them, and Suga gave him as warm of a smile as he could manage. 

“Yeah, we… we weren’t expecting to run into anyone we know either.”

Awkward didn’t quite cut it anymore. The tension was actually painful, and Daichi still hadn’t said a word. 

Maybe coming here was a bad idea. Maybe he shouldn’t have chosen such a public space, shouldn’t have brought them somewhere he knew might-

Daichi ended up reaching out on his own, and their fingers only barely brushed but it was enough. 

“Sorry. I’m interrupting something-” Asahi started, turning to leave, but a ringing phone seemed to stop him in his tracks. 

“It’s mine,” Daichi said, fishing it out of his pocket, and his face only further blanched when he saw the name. “Suga, it’s my dad.”

My dad never calls, he knew wasn’t added. 

Words didn’t even begin to describe how much he hated the fear he saw in Daichi’s eyes, or what choice words he wanted to offer whoever put it there. He didn’t even care that Asahi was still here, his hand found his way onto Daichi’s and he held it firmly, waiting until he looked up. 

“Go take it. I’ll deal with everything else here.”

He nodded, getting up and pushing his chair in with his foot before grabbing his bag and answering the phone. Suga watched him go, concern only growing. 

He’d even forgotten Asahi was still standing there until he cleared his throat, shifting his weight from foot to foot as if looking for an excuse to not just stand there. 

“You didn’t say anything, did you?” Suga asked, but somehow he knew he hadn’t. Asahi shook his head quickly, eyes widening. 

“No. I wouldn’t.” Suga nodded, as if to say yeah, I know, and his gaze wandered back to the window outside. Daichi’s outline could only just be seen on the other side of the glass, holding a phone to his ear. There was no way to tell how that was going. “Do you think he’s okay?”

Suga hadn’t been expecting the question. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted, and saying the words out loud hurt more than he let on. “You can sit, you know. If you have time. I wouldn’t mind.”

The company would be nice, he didn’t add, dragging his eyes away from the window. Worrying would help no one. 

Asahi complied, pulling up Daichi’s previously empty chair. He looked at the lit candle in the middle and laughed a little, and Suga did too. 

“He always does that. It’s embarrassing sometimes, but people seem to like it.”

“You know the owners?” Suga asked, before realising that’s a dumb question. He freakin’ works here. 

Asahi nodded. “Yeah. My, uh… my uncles own the place. I was asked to help out today, after one of the new kids quit.”

Suga was a little taken aback. Never would he have thought either of the two men who kept the place running could be related to Asahi. They were so… opposite. But he smiled anyways, because he was sure the great cooking and warmth made for interesting family gatherings. 

Asahi didn’t seem to have anything to add to that. He glanced back at the window, and Suga followed his eyes. There was still nothing they could tell from here. He wanted nothing more than to go out there and be with his boyfriend, but space was probably the best thing he could offer at this moment. 

“So…” Asahi started, changing the subject. Suga was glad he was taking some initiative in taking the conversation somewhere. “How long have you two been-”

“Two months.”

“Two months?”

He didn’t sound weirded out. Or anything unpleasant, really. Maybe a little surprised. And as tentative as it was, the teasing was unmissable in his smile. 

“I thought it’d been longer.”

Suga could only gape, more than a little taken aback. He worried, briefly, if anyone else had managed to catch on, but then Asahi’s expression turned more serious. 

“Sorry. I’m kidding. I honestly had no idea.”

He actually looked a little scared, so Suga offered him a reassuring smile. His heart hadn’t ceased its incessant beating, but nothing to be done about that. “It’s okay, really.”

None of this is how he expected this evening to go. At least Daichi had stopped pacing outside. It didn’t look like his phone was still at his ear, and Suga couldn’t decide if that was a good sign or not. 

“So you don’t think the team suspects anything?” he asked eventually, wanting to at least get an answer to that before he went outside to check on his boyfriend. 

“I think you would’ve heard from them if they thought something was going on.” Asahi said, and Suga laughed a little in agreement. That was very true. “But I won’t tell anyone. I get that not everyone is…”

Suga glanced again out of the window and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

By the time Suga managed to pay and exit the restaurant he was confident enough time had passed for Daichi to gather his thoughts. He expected him to be waiting against a wall with his arms crossed, a position Daichi always adopted when he was feeling a lot and didn’t want to talk about it, so Suga was more than a little surprised to find him sitting on the sidewalk, feet on the road as he fiddled absently with his phone. 

“Daichi?”

His boyfriend looked up, and Suga was sure his eyes were a little glassy. 

“You okay?”

Daichi ignored the question in favour of standing up, pocketing his phone and dusting off his trousers. He wasn’t okay. Suga knew he wasn’t okay, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He wasn’t sure if he should even ask what it was about. 

Daichi’s father didn’t call. Whatever it had been, it must’ve been serious. Suga wanted to hold him, have him talk about whatever had clearly just happened without reservations, but he couldn’t force that. He couldn’t force Daichi to talk anymore than he could force his parents to be accepting. 

So instead he slipped their hands together, trying to convey it all in a single squeeze, before letting it drop once more. 

“Do you need to be home?”

Daichi shook his head. “No,” he answered quietly. “Not for a while.”

Suga turned to him, eyes widening a little, trying to confirm that that meant what it seemed to. Daichi didn’t look at him. 

Fuck. Did they…

“Not like that,” he amended quickly, and Suga relaxed a little. “They didn’t… they don’t know.”

That resolves the most pressing concern. 

“Should we just walk for a while?”

Daichi gives him a tight smile, a silent okay, before stuffing one hand in his pocket and bringing the other to hold his backpack strap. Suga adjusted his own bag and started walking back towards the way they came, his boyfriend falling in beside him. 

It felt like they’d done this before. That night walking home, Daichi had worn the same troubled expression he was supporting now, always on the verge of saying something but biting it back before he could open his mouth. It was a little painful, waiting for Daichi to come to him, but Suga was patient. He could wait. 

Eventually, Daichi spoke. 

“How did, uh… how did Asahi take it?”

He didn’t sound quite right. There was an edge to his voice, thick with emotions Suga couldn’t name. It was strange, in a way, to see him so clearly fragile. So close to breaking, shattering, falling to pieces right before him. 

His fingers longed to reach out, give Daichi some form of comfort, but he willed them to remain at his side. The streets were quiet, but not deserted. 

“Really well. He was surprised, I think, but then he even got to teasing me a little. We don’t have to worry.” Daichi’s smile mirrored his own, if only briefly, before falling once more.

The moonlight cast a ghostly reflection on the city below, and from where they were they could see most of the prefecture. It looked so small, so far. Like they weren’t even in the same plane of existence, instead just watching the world turn from above. 

“My dad called to find out where I was.”

Suga turned to him but said nothing. Daichi’s hands were planted firmly in his pockets, his gaze fixed on some neighbourhood below. Shadows clung to his face, broken only by the pale light. He looked a little ethereal. 

“I’d told my parents I was gonna go study at Yui’s house, but they must’ve called to check and…” His gaze came down to his shoes. “They were so proud. My dad especially. I’ve never heard him so pleased.”

Suga inched closer so their shoulders were pressed against each other, but didn’t dare go further. 

“He said I was finally becoming a man. Told me good for me, for getting myself a girl and taking her out. Wasn’t even mad I’d lied.”

His voice was growing shakier, quieter. Still, he kept his gaze resolutely on the ground. 

“Said he was glad that I… I was normal.”

Normal. 

The word was pronounced bitterly, but one look at his face told Suga he wasn’t really angry. Disappointed, maybe, but not angry. 

Suga found tears in his eyes, the firm hold of his teeth on his lower lip the only thing keeping them from spilling over. There was nothing that could stop the rage burning in his chest at the sight of Daichi so… hurt. So broken. He didn’t even know where to put this rage, where to direct it when there was nothing specific to mad at. He was angry at the world, for imposing their ideas of what love should be, for causing them to question and hide and feel ashamed of themselves. Nothing about what he and Daichi had could be wrong. 

“I’m sorry.”

Barely a whisper, not nearly enough to express what he was trying to. There was too much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to change, just so he could never see Daichi so broken. 

I’m sorry the world hates us. Sorry I took you out here tonight. Sorry I didn’t realise we could’ve run into someone, could’ve been seen, as much as I hate to hide you… I don’t want to see you hurt. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. 

Daichi caved. 

It wasn’t like he’d never seen Daichi cry. They’d been friends for years; won games together, lost games together, endured the daily pressures of life and high school together. But he’d never seen Daichi cry like this. 

Even when he’d cried before, he’d always maintained some measure of composure. A dignity to it, the silent tears always seeming to magnify his strength rather than allude weakness. He never looked vulnerable as he did now, fragile and breakable and so incredibly hurt. Suga could tell he was trying not to sob, not to make a sound and disturb the still night, but there was too much feeling there to keep it all at bay. 

It took only one quick glance around to see they were alone. No one coming from either side of the street, no cars approaching or crossing the other road at the end. His fingers reached out to wrap themselves around Daichi’s, and he savoured the steady warmth as Daichi squeezed his hand, not hard (never hard) but firmly. He pulled his boyfriend towards him, bringing his other hand to rest on Daichi’s neck, and pulled his head down carefully so it was resting on his shoulder. 

Daichi didn’t try and hold back. 

Suga’s fingers played with his hair, running soothing circles on the base of his skull, the back of his head. He held Daichi as he shook, saying nothing. Some moments didn’t call for words, and this was one of them. 

He wished tonight had gone better. Felt a little guilty, when Daichi’s dates had always been so perfect, so amazingly sweet. But he also couldn’t bring himself to regret it, because he understood what it meant to see Daichi laid so bare, to see him so openly vulnerable. 

Trust. Complete, unreserved trust. 

Someday, he’d marry this boy. But Daichi didn’t need to know that yet. 

Chapter Text

Daichi didn’t talk to his parents when he got home later that night. 

They were both in the living room, watching something on the TV, and they both smiled up at him as he walked past. The first genuinely proud look he’s seen from either of them since he made volleyball captain, and from his father…

He doesn’t think about the last time his father looked proud of him. 

They told him there were leftovers in the fridge, if he was hungry, but he said he wasn’t. Neither of them said anything else. He preferred it this way, he thought, that at least he didn’t have to pretend to have a girlfriend, didn’t have to lie about where he’d been. It was definitely better this way. Easier. 

Some part of him also kind of wished they cared enough to ask how it’d gone, but he shut that train of thought down before it could go anywhere. 

His bag dropped with a soft thunk on the floor near his bed, and he flopped onto it without changing out of his clothes. The phantom feeling of Suga’s hand in his was still there, steady and warm, and he allowed himself a small smile as he thought of their night. Two months. It’s been two months. 

They’d gotten ice cream after all. Ice lollies from a corner shop on the way home, strawberry and lemon for him and Suga respectively. And maybe he did ruin the night a little by breaking down, but Suga had been all soft smiles and reassurances, and it had been sweet. Not horribly romantic, but sweet. 

And then there was Asahi, but he wasn’t ready to think about that just yet. Wanted to believe Suga when he said it was okay, they didn’t have to worry. He didn’t want to have to worry. Asahi knowing was a problem he’d have to tackle tomorrow. But for now…

“Daichi?”

He scrambled up so fast he felt a little dizzy, but it wasn’t his father at the door. 

“Yusei,” he managed. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

His brother was standing awkwardly at the door, holding onto the door handle as if ready to pull it closed again. He looked okay, if only a little sheepish, and Daichi relaxed a little. 

“What do you want? It’s late and you have school tomorrow.”

Yusei frowned, coming forward to lean against the doorframe. “So do you.”

“Well I’m older, aren’t I? I can sleep later.”

He didn’t seem to have a reply to that. Daichi flopped back onto the bed, running his hands over his face, and released a long breath. It had been a long day; too long, even. But he didn’t want to snap, not when he’d been gone most of the evening and his brothers rarely ever came and talked to him.

They have nothing to do with Ma and Dad, he reminded himself. 

“Did you need something?”

He was clearly holding back a smile. “Well…”

A stumbling noise from somewhere behind him interrupted him, and Yusei turned to shush the empty corridor. 

Great. 

“Is there a reason you two are sneaking around instead of telling me what you’re doing here?”

Yusei sighed. Finally he opened the door fully, to reveal Haruo behind him.

“Sorry, Daichi,” Yusei said, but Haruo wasted no time in coming in and jumping onto the bed. 

“Ma said you got a girlfriend,” he stated simply. 

Oh. 

There was none of the same pride his parents held at saying those words. Only cautious curiosity, and a little cheek. 

“She did, did she?” 

How much did she say? he didn’t ask. 

“Yeah. She said that’s why you weren’t at Michimiya’s house.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. Yusei had joined him on the bed, perched on the end instead of sprawled across it like his twin, and Daichi sat up to make room for them. 

“I shouldn’t have lied to Ma,” he went with. Best to try avoid the whole girlfriend topic. 

“I don’t think Ma minded.”

There was a beat of silence where Daichi could only stare at his brother, hoping he hadn’t made any kind of connection between his parents’ reaction and what he’d supposedly been out doing, but Haruo interrupted before that train of thought got anywhere. 

“So? Were you on a date tonight?”

They were both staring at him, expecting some kind of answer. 

“I… was.”

Both their faces lit up. 

Technically not a lie, he kept repeating in his head. He wasn’t sure why he felt guilty about this; it’s not like he could explain what he had with Suga to his brothers any more than he could tell his parents. But talking about being out with a girl felt a little like cheating, and he knew it was dumb but it bothered him. 

“Did you kiss?” Yusei asked immediately, shuffling forward, and Haruo just made a face. 

“We did.”

“Was it good?”

“Eww!” Haruo shouted, bringing his hands up to cover his ears, and Daichi almost laughed. 

“I’m not answering that.” Yusei looked disappointed, but nodded when Haruo made another face.  

“Did you hold hands a lot?”

A puking noise from Haruo, and Yusei elbowed his side. 

“Cut it out, you two,” Daichi said. “It’s late, and what I was doing is none of your business. Both of you to bed, there will be no more questions tonight.”

He watched them get off the bed reluctantly, Haruo making a point of dragging his feet as he walked towards the door. He stopped there, just before he walked out after Yusei, and turned back around. 

“What was her name?”

His name was Suga, and he’s my boyfriend, and yes boys can like boys, and no it’s not weird or wrong or disgusting and-

“I told you, no more questions. Go to sleep.”

The door closed behind them and Daichi closed his eyes, willing his mind to shut up for a bit. 

Maybe someday he could explain it all to them. 

Maybe he’ll find a time where it won’t be too late, and they won’t hate him like his parents will. 

(He wasn’t exactly hopeful). 

His dad called him a real man the whole way through breakfast, and Daichi felt sick. 

Ma was less obvious about it, but it was just as bad. Winked at him as he came in, found ways to casually ask if he’d been safe last night. (We didn’t do anything, Ma. 

Of course not, honey)

And he wasn’t sure how much the twins followed, but even their naivety had limits. Neither of his parents were being subtle. He just hoped they didn’t pick up on how uncomfortable he looked, something his parents had either truly not noticed or were pointedly ignoring. 

So it was understandable that he was in a terrible mood by the time he set off for school, only marginally improved by Suga’s good morning kiss. He wanted to punch something, or work off all this restless energy on something productive, but there was nothing to do but head to his first lesson and sit. Suga asked if he was okay and he just shrugged and kept walking, and he wasn’t asked again. 

There was no morning practice that day, which he was pissed at but at least he didn’t have to see anyone just yet. Didn’t have to deal with Asahi, however that might turn out, or risk being too curt with the first years. Suga still found him at break and sat next to him, talking about something he only half paid attention to but appreciated anyway, but they parted for their lessons too soon for either of their likings. 

I was asked to tutor last minute, Suga’s text read as he headed out to lunch.

It wasn’t a question, exactly, but Daichi knew he was asking anyway. 

It’s fine, go help the kid study. We can do lunch tmrw, he texted back. It registered as read immediately, and Suga started typing before it even sent properly. 

I don’t have to

And then,

I can tell them I’m busy

Daichi did consider telling him to cancel, to come have lunch so he could go back to feeling some inch of normalcy, but that would be unfair to both Suga and whatever kid was currently failing. Besides, he wasn’t so sure he could pretend normal was an option right now. 

I can spend one lunch without u

He closed it after that, despite it buzzing in his pocket almost immediately. He’d have time to read whatever witty remark Suga had sent later. 

Daichi found an empty corner of the school grounds and settled himself there, unwilling to join his classmates just then. He didn’t think he could make conversation while knowing what they’d think if they knew about him, about Suga. 

Normal. 

He wasn’t, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it anymore. There were days where he couldn’t be prouder, couldn’t be madder that people thought it was wrong and gross. But sometimes he felt like maybe all the hate was deserved. That he deserved it, for feeling the things he did. Not Suga. Never Suga, he didn’t deserve anything those people said. But maybe he did.

(It didn’t make sense and he knew it, but it was something he’d found himself thinking a lot lately)

He’d lost track of how long he’d sat there when someone came up and joined him on the grass, too close to not have intentionally sat beside him. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

It was Yui. He should’ve been expecting this, her coming up to talk about last night. And part of him was glad she was here, because he needed his oldest friend right about now, but part of him was also dreading the conversation they were inevitably about to have. 

“Not hungry,” he said. 

And maybe he should’ve made more of an effort hiding his terrible mood. Maybe he should’ve smiled a little, made some conversation, delayed this discussion a little. But it was Yui, and he’d known her forever, and he was really getting tired of pretending. 

“You should eat anyways,” she said, and when he made no move to touch his food, she changed tactics. “Are you going to tell me where you were last night and why you had to lie to your parents about it?”

He finally met her eyes at that, trying to find the courage to just do it. Come out to her like he’d been wanting to for years, ever since he figured it out and knew his parents weren’t an option. And with her steady gaze right back on him, he decided there wasn’t going to be a better moment.

“I was on a date,” he said quietly.

She frowned. “A date? Why did you have to say you were at my house if it was just a date?”

He forced himself to keep looking at her, despite wanting nothing more than to stare back at his lap. 

“Because I… I was on a date with Suga.”

It clearly took her a second to get it. Her face twisted into a small frown, then a look of realisation, and then a softer expression he could quite name. He kept looking at her, eyes darting over her face and trying to figure out what she was going to say next, but she didn’t seem to be reacting all that badly. 

“You’re dating Suga?” she asked carefully, and he shifted back just a little. Enough that there was now a good foot of space between them. 

“Yeah,” he said, and watched her lips form a small smile. “What?”

“You’re dating Suga!” She easily closed the space between them, coming up to bump his shoulder playfully. “Lucky bastard.”

Where had that kind of language come from?

“Yui!”

“Well he is, isn’t he? Who wouldn’t want a piece of Kurasano’s volleyball captain?”

He could already feel face turning an unnatural shade of pink. “ Yui!”  

She giggled, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little too. This was going so much better than he’d hoped. 

“So…” she said after a while, and the seriousness immediately sobered them both up. “Does this mean you’re…”

“Gay.”

The word took up an uncomfortable amount of space between them. Hung in the air, and she made no move to acknowledge it. 

He was just about to say something, anything to break the silence, when she blinked. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Well, yeah” she said, nudging him again. “What was I supposed to do, stop being your best friend? I won’t pretend I know a whole lot about it, but… it’s okay. It’s not like we ever talked about anything date related anyways.”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

“And maybe we could start,” she continued. “You can finally offer your opinion when I ask you whether guys are hot instead of awkwardly dismissing the question. And I can find out what your type is!”

He frowned. “I have a boyfriend.” 

“A boyfriend ,” she repeated, like it was something she’d have to get used to saying. “I always thought you’d come to me for girl advice, but now we’re both in the same boat trying to figure out boys.”

Daichi allowed himself a smile. “It’s not that hard.”

“Well you’re a guy, aren’t you? You have an advantage here.” He didn’t feel the need to respond to that, and she clearly wasn’t expecting an answer because she’d reached across him to grab his lunch, opening the brown paper bag and peering inside. “Your mum packed a cookie.”

The cookies were almost always reserved for the twins. Too old to be eating chocolate chips, his dad always claimed. He wondered if this had anything to do with last night. 

“Take it, if you want.”

Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment he thought she might question him, but she seemed to decide getting a cookie was better than figuring out why he was so willing to give it to her. 

He still hadn’t touched his lunch. 

“Do your parents know?” she asked, once the cookie was gone and the tinfoil it had been wrapped in was squished beyond recognition. 

She wasn’t looking at him. If she had been, his incredulous expression would’ve been answer enough. “Are you kidding?”

“Yeah, that was probably a silly question.” They’d both heard his father talk about gay people. Had more than a few choice words to offer, none of them particularly pleasant. “Do you really think they’d take it that badly?”

Daichi scoffed. Actually scoffed, and she turned a little to look at him. 

“My parents thought I was out with a girl yesterday, and I’ve never seen them prouder. Dad actually told me he was glad I was normal over the phone last night. I’d be surprised if they didn’t disown me.”

It took more effort than he let on to say that without his voice breaking, but it was the bluntest truth. No use in denying it - his parents loved the idea of him, the athletic young man with good grades and a girlfriend. Not the part of him that liked boys, that had a boyfriend, that was gay. 

Gay. His father would probably have different words to describe him. 

“Sorry,” Yui said. 

He couldn’t imagine why she’d decided to say that. “For what?”

“For you parents being sucky. For all the people who are going to hate you your whole life just for loving. For not noticing and letting you think I might be one of those people.”

He gave her a tight smile, because there wasn’t anything to say to that. People were going to hate him for existing. And there was very little he would be able to do to change that. But maybe if the people who mattered were on his side, it wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Does this mean you’ll start talking to me instead of avoiding eighty percent of conversations about how you’ve been?”

He just rolled his eyes and elbowed her lightly, ignoring her question. And if reached for his food, willing to at least try and eat something, maybe that was just the relief of knowing his oldest friend was okay with him making him less nauseous. 

Chapter Text

It turned out having a fake girlfriend wasn’t terrible, once you got used to the idea. 

For one, he could now go out with Suga whenever he felt like it. No more excuses or coming home too early for either of their liking; he could come back at ten and his parents wouldn’t even bat an eye, only occasionally asking if he’d been safe. 

(The fact that they cared more about him getting someone pregnant than about how the date had gone should’ve said a lot, but he didn’t think too hard about it). 

He and Suga had spent an entire afternoon talking about what to call his mystery girlfriend, because “she can’t just not have a name, Daichi, it’d be weird”. They roped Yui into it about two hours in, and after a more than awkward initial introduction of Yui, this is my boyfriend, and Suga... yeah, Yui knows, the three of them had gone through every baby name website they could find to try and get the perfect name. 

They’d ended up abandoning that attempt and just settling down in his room to watch a movie, and with it being a Saturday none of them had anywhere in particular to be. The twins were at a birthday party and his parents had lunch with some old family friends, so Daichi brought some snacks up and let Suga settle against his chest before putting on the first sappy romcom Netflix recommended for them. 

It was nice, staying like this. Yui was crying by the end of it and even Daichi had tears in his eyes, which Suga didn’t miss. There was no teasing, surprisingly enough, only a fond smile and a packet of tissues that somehow materialised in his hands. 

His parents came home just as they’d decided to play Mario Kart. Yui was winning (he hated admitting it, but Yui was better at this than he was) and Suga wasn’t far behind, despite insisting he wasn’t very good. Ma took one look at the three of them and only smiled, and for the first time in years her eyes didn’t linger on Suga. 

“That’s cheating!” Yui cried out, trying to wiggle away from where Daichi had just sandwiched her between him and the bed, but the attempt was pretty futile. 

“How is enjoying the company of an old friend cheating?” he asked with a grin, and she just about managed to elbow him in the ribs. “Ow.”

She elbowed him a little harder and he moved back. “Serves you right. Keeping me from playing properly is the very definition of cheating.”

He didn’t have a response to that, not when Suga had just passed them both and was so close to winning. Probably should’ve taken into account that his boyfriend was surprisingly good at this before he’d gone and distracted them both. 

“Daichi,” Yui groaned as Suga inevitably came in first. “Can’t believe we lost to your rookie boyfriend.”

He cringed a little at how loud it came out, but said nothing. 

“What can I say? I’m a fast learner.”

Daichi made a show of scoffing a little, which earned him another elbow to the ribs.

Ow. 

“Love. It took you four weeks to figure out how to open your locker.”

“That was three years ago!”

“My point still stands.”

Suga just rolled his eyes, a halfhearted attempt at looking annoyed, but his pink ears were indication enough that he didn’t really mean it. 

“Wait…” Yui cut in, “were you the kid who kept all his books in his bag for a month in our first year?”

Suga groaned, blush deepening and spreading past his collar, and honestly Daichi was starting to feel a little hot in this room. 

“Please don’t remind me,” Suga said, and Yui giggled. “How does everyone even remember that still? It was ages ago.”

Not that long ago, Daichi wanted to say. It felt like just yesterday he was sitting behind a grey-haired, scrawny boy with half a library in his messenger bag. He thought maybe he’d liked Suga from that very moment, even if he wouldn’t realise it for a long time. 

“No one talked about anything else for that entire first month at school,” Yui started, and god, Daichi very vividly remembered the jokes. “Besides, Daichi wouldn’t stop talking about you for weeks after that.”

Wait, what?

“Aw, you talked about me?” Suga asked sweetly, nudging Daichi with his shoulder, but the burning of Daichi’s cheeks seemed to be preventing him from responding.

“He did,” Yui continued, a devilish smirk spreading across her face. “ So much. He wouldn’t-”

“Yui,” he said lowly, hopefully just threateningly enough that she’d never bring it up again. 

“Come on, Daichi. I think it’s kinda cute that you were obsessed with me right from the start.”

Obsessed. 

Should definitely be illegal to make him feel so flustered. 

“Shut up,” is all he could come up with as a retort. “Both of you.”

Suga and Yui exchanged a look he definitely did not like. 

They switched to a different game after that, a motorbike racing game with bad graphics but a fairly straightforward concept. It only allowed two people to play at once, though, so they had to take it in turns. 

Daichi beat them all easily, having spent hours racing his brothers on this game last Christmas, and eventually stepped back to watch Yui and Suga play each other. Neither of them noticed him taking a few photos of their epic defeats. 

“How do you get this stupid bike to not flip over at this turn?” Suga asked, and Yui just laughed. 

“Patience,” Daichi said, before adding with a smirk, “and mad skills, of course.”

Suga looked more than a little disbelieving. 

“Here,” he said, putting his hands over Suga’s to show him where to press. “Don’t accelerate so much on the bit leading up to it.”

He could feel Yui’s eyes on them. Knew she was staring, trying to figure something out. But Suga hadn’t noticed and he didn’t really feel like acknowledging it, so he just ignored her. She’d bring it up later, probably. 

Yui did have to leave eventually, though, having been called back next door to help with something, but Suga was allowed to stay for dinner. Daichi had just barely scraped a fourth win in a row when they were called down to eat, and from the few seconds of silence that followed Suga had the same worries he did. 

“It doesn’t have to be weird,” he tried, but even to his own ears it didn’t sound very convincing. He kept going nonetheless. “It’s just dinner. And my parents think we’re friends.”

“That’s not gonna make it un-weird,” Suga said, drawing circles on the palm of his hand as he talked. “But you’re right. It’s just dinner.”

Dinner where we’ll be eating with your homophobic parents who think we’re both straight and that you have a girlfriend and would probably flip out if they knew we were dating, was probably best left unsaid. 

It didn’t end up being awful, though. And sure, maybe it was a little awkward at first, but the twins more than made up for it in enthusiasm as they recounted the party. It didn’t leave much space for awkwardness, not when Suga was such a natural at talking to them and his parents were both happy to make their own conversation at the end of the table. 

“What’s your favourite dinosaur, Suga-san?” Haruo asked, excitement written all over his face, and Yusei shot him a look. “Mine’s the Velociraptor.”

Ah yes, my brother’s dinosaur obsession. 

“Big kids don’t like dinosaurs,” Yusei whispered at him. Daichi frowned, about to interject, but Suga beat him to it. 

“That’s not true. There’s a guy on our volleyball team that loves dinosaurs.”

Haruo’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah. Tsukishima, he’s a middle blocker. If you ever get to meet him, he’d probably love to talk about it.”

Daichi tries to hold back a laugh at the mental image of Tsukishima and his ten year old brother getting excited about dinosaur trivia, and Suga sends him a smile as if he knows exactly what he’s thinking about. 

“I think dinosaurs are kinda lame,” Yusei says, and at least has the decency to look apologetic when Haruo turns to him. 

“If you ever get to see one, I hope it eats you.”

Daichi had never seen him look so serious. Even Yusei looked a little scared, watching his usually bright-eyed and excitable twin glare at him the way he was. 

“Haruo! We’ve talked about saying things like that to your brother,” Ma started, but Daichi could only think about how proud Tsukishima would be if he could’ve heard him. 

The meal went pretty smoothly after that. Daichi’s parents did ask some questions but they were all innocent and fairly unthreatening, like how he was finding school and where he planned to go after they graduated. Suga admitted he hadn’t given it too much thought and even the responses to that were fairly mild, something Daichi was pleasantly surprised by. Suga was a natural conversationalist and great at making potentially awkward conversations non-awkward, and really he shouldn’t have been worried. Suga was great. 

Some part of him started wondering if this is what it’d be like if his parents were okay with him. He could bring Suga over whenever and they’d get along just as they are now, with his father looking mildly impressed by his work ethic and the twins interrupting with only half relevant questions. The whole thing was so perfectly normal, so easy and effortless, that Daichi allowed himself to believe one day it might happen. 

Someday… someday I’ll tell my parents I have a boyfriend and they’ll smile, and they won’t be perfect but they’ll try their best. It won’t be weird, and I won’t be any more scared than I’d be if a girlfriend was meeting them for the first time. 

It was a futile hope and he knew it, but he held onto it nonetheless. 

Chapter Text

Suga woke up to his phone ringing, an old picture of Daichi from a game back in second year lighting up his screen. 

“Hey,” he said, sitting up in bed and trying to blink himself awake. It wasn’t even nine yet. 

“Suga, hey. I was just wondering if-” His boyfriend stopped abruptly. “Shit, did I wake you?” 

“It’s fine,” he chuckled. “Nothing like being up at half eight on a Sunday.”

A sound somewhere between mortification and an awkward laugh came from the other end, and he was sure Daichi was embarrassed even if he really didn’t mind being awoken. The thought made him smile but he lay off the teasing for a while, if only to ensure Daichi didn’t overthink this later. 

“So what were you wondering?”

Daichi clears his throat before answering. “Oh yeah, uh… my parents are going out later and wanted me to babysit the twins. I asked them and they’re cool with you coming over and keeping me company, if you want.” And then, much further away from the phone, “Haruo! Put that down before you take his eye out.”

Suga laughed. “Sounds like you could use the help,” he said. 

“Yeah, they’re a handful. But I’ll manage if you’d rather go back to sleep.”

His tone was light but the offer was genuine, Suga knew. Which made him want to question what Daichi was on, because no way was he missing an afternoon of looking after the Sawamura twins with his boyfriend. “If you think my answer is anything but yes, you clearly don’t know me well enough.” 

Daichi’s laugh was something he wished he could never stop hearing. 

“Okay then. My parents are leaving at ten, so show up sometime after that.” Some talking in the background, and Daichi added, “Ma says it’s very sweet of you to agree to this, and that she’ll leave cookies out for us all later.”

Ah yes, the infamous cookie. “I can’t wait to try them.”

“Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.”

They hung up a little after that, and Suga dropped his phone back onto his bedside table. It was still far too early to be doing anything, but something about staying in bed and potentially falling asleep again didn't sit right with him. 

He went instead to the bathroom, taking a long, hot shower and enjoying the feel of the water falling over him and the smell of his shampoo. Coconut, Daichi’s favourite. He’d bought it especially after his boyfriend mentioned it. 

Did you… change your shampoo? Daichi had asked him a few weeks back, when they’d found themselves back at the old children’s park late one night. He’d been snuggled into the crook of Daichi’s neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that came from being engulfed by such strong arms. 

You mentioned you liked the smell of coconut, he’d mumbled back, and just about caught the reddening of his boyfriend’s cheeks. 

Coming out of the shower he quickly slipped on some underwear and jeans, the kind he usually wore to hang around the house. He picked out a jacket to wear over his shirt and set it aside for now, seeing no point putting it on if he was just going to sit around for a while. 

The TV turned on in the next room, and he sat back down onto his bed. 

His room wasn’t the biggest, but after seven years nothing felt more like home. There were pictures on the walls from his middle school games and older ones of him and his mum, when he was little and they still lived in a house with his father. He’d kept some old drawings, too, and though he’d never been exceptionally good at art, they gave a little colour to the room. 

(He’d thought about taking them down but Daichi had looked so impressed when he’d first seen them, back when they’d only just become friends.)

Maybe I should draw more, he thought, before a knock at his door made him look up.

“Honey?”

He startled a little; the house was usually so quiet he could hear anyone coming. But it was just his mum, and the TV was still on in the next room, so he gave her a smile and relaxed. 

“Morning,” he said. 

She held her mug of tea a little closer to her chest and looked him over, suspicion and a hint of smugness tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

“Are you going somewhere I should know about?”

He’d kind of forgotten he was overdressed for a Sunday morning. 

“Yeah, uh… Daichi asked if I could go help him babysit his brothers. Is that okay?”

She came fully into the room instead of answering, perching herself on the bed beside him. 

“When have I ever stopped you from hanging out with him?” she said, and smiled into her drink as she took a long sip. “You two seem like very good friends.”

His gaze fell to his hands at that. For the longest time it’d been just him and his mother, and she’d made him promise when he was eight that he’d tell her about anything important in his life, and she in turn promised to always listen. He hated keeping secrets from her, he really did, especially when it was something that made him so happy. 

Daichi made him so happy. 

“Well, before you go, we should probably get some breakfast in you,” she said, bringing one hand up to ruffle his hair as she stood. “I’ll go make some waffles. Set the table, yeah?”

Soon enough the smell of breakfast filled their little apartment, and he was sat on a stool by the counter as she leaned against the sink to eat. He mostly just listened to her talk about the baking show playing in the room next door, happy to not have to offer too much input of his own. 

“Oh yes,” she started after a while, starting to wash their empty plates. “Your father called last night.”

Suga knew that tone, and it never meant anything good coming from his mum. 

“What did he want?”

“To reconnect with you, mostly.” She took an unnecessarily long time to dry their plates. “He said he wants to see you in person.”

The thought of being in the same room as his father didn’t sit very well with him, but he had to admit he’s a little curious. 

“Why doesn’t he just call? It’s what he’s done every time a guilty conscience strikes him so far.”

She doesn’t answer, and he knows there’s something she’s not telling him. “He wants to see you, and I’m not going to dissuade you. Just make a little effort with him, alright? He hasn’t seen you in a while.”

He nodded, but only because arguing would be stupid. Something was still not adding up, but he lets it go. 

Ten o’clock rolled around fast, thankfully, and Suga made the short walk from his street to Daichi’s in record time. Not even three seconds had passed between him ringing the doorbell and Daichi answering, and he was immediately pulled inside. 

“Sugawara-san!” Haruo shouted, bounding down the stairs with an xbox controller under his arm. “Daichi said to be nice to you, so do you want to race the cars with me? You can have the better one.”

He held out the controller and Suga took it, shooting a smirk at his boyfriend. 

“If Daichi said so, I can’t possibly decline, can I?”

An elbow found its way into his side as soon as Haruo’s back was turned. 

It was the same game they’d played back when he and Michimiya had come over, but even with the practice the twins beat him easily.

“You’re going to drive off a cliff, Sugawara-san,” Yusei said over his shoulder as Haruo passed him easily – and, sure enough, next thing he knew his little red avatar was sprawled on a cliff side beside the car.

“That turn always gets me,” he mumbled. Haruo snickered. 

“You accelerate too much,” Yusei said, before pointing down at the controller in his hands. “There’s a trick, but showing you would probably mean I’d lose, so…”

Turns out ten year olds are exactly how he remembered them. At least he had the decency to look a little bashful. 

“My go,” Yusei said to Haruo, and his twin handed him the controller and took up Yusei’s previous position on the bed. 

“That’s enough massacring Suga,” Daichi said eventually, preventing them from playing him into his eighth consecutive loss. In his defence, he’d finally managed to stop diving off of cliffs, but now there were trees in the way that he kept totalling his little car into. “We’re gonna go downstairs for a while, okay? Behave yourselves.”

Yusei just shrugged and tossed the spare controller at Haruo, mumbling something under his breath to his twin. 

He followed Daichi downstairs with cautious curiosity, because as much as he wanted some time for just them, he was still very aware this was Daichi’s parents house. 

“Isn’t it a bad idea to leave two kids unsupervised?” he asked, mostly just to tease. 

“Nah, they’ll be fine. I just wanted to get you away from them for a while.”

Suga moved a little closer, a smile tugging at his lips. “Oh yeah? What did you want to do that you couldn’t have done in there?”

His question was answered when Daichi’s hands found their way onto his face and pulled him into a kiss, passionate at first before turning softer, into something lazy and unhurried. Suga found himself smiling impossibly wide as he finally pulled away, face flushed and a little out of breath. 

“Yeah, that would’ve been a bad idea to do in front of your brothers.”

Daichi laughed, face just as red as he leaned back against the kitchen door frame, and with the way the sun was hitting his face he’d never looked more handsome. 

“Thanks for coming,” he said eventually, having reached out to take Suga’s hand in his. He drew mindless little circles with his thumb as he thought, clearly mulling something over. 

Suga gave him his time. “It was no problem. You know I like your brothers.” It didn’t look like he was going to say whatever was on his mind, so Suga continued with what’d been bugging him most of the morning. “My dad called last night, apparently. Mum said he wants to see me.”

Daichi’s thumb stilled for a second on his hand, before resuming the circles. “Do you want to see him?”

It was a fair question, and if he was being perfectly honest, it wasn’t something he’d given much thought to. 

“I don’t know,” he said, because he really didn’t. “I haven’t seen him in years.”

Daichi gave his hand a squeeze, a reassurance Suga was the one usually offering. “Well, whatever you decide I’m going to be here,” he said, and the sincerity in those words was enough to stop Suga worrying too much. 

Chapter Text

They stayed in the kitchen for a while after that, trying to find his father’s social media and stalk it, but eventually they gave up and just started scrolling through meme pages. He never thought he’d find a cat falling into birthday cake this funny, but here he was, with tears in his eyes, laughing at exactly that. 

“What is it about you and cats?” Daichi asked, once he’d calmed down a little. 

“I don’t know, okay? It’s a cat. It fell on a cake. Nothing about memes is rational.”

Daichi made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a disbelieving uh-huh, and Suga was just about to defend himself when Daichi’s expression broke into a surprised smile. He nudged his phone into Suga’s hand, where Instagram was opened to a picture of Michimiya and a guy Suga vaguely recognised. 

It was innocent enough; they were probably at the mall from all the people behind them, sharing what looked like Starbucks in front of the fountain. 

“Uh… cool?”

Daichi laughed. “That’s Takahashi. We’ve only formally met once but… I’ve seen the way he flirts with her. Looks like he finally got the nerve to ask her out.”

Sure enough, on a closer look, Suga could see the boy’s arm around her waist. 

Takahashi…

Something about the name sounded familiar. A guy in their year had the same one, if he remembered right, and he was nothing short of an asshole back in their first year. 

Then again, maybe people change. 

“Daichi?” Yusei called, appearing at the kitchen doorway a moment later. “What’s for lunch?”

It was enough to distract them both from the picture, and whatever Suga was going to say about the guy. 

“Now that…” Daichi started, “is a very good question. What do you guys want?”

The kid considered the question for a moment. “Can we get takeout? Ma never lets us.”

Daichi frowned. “Yeah she does. We ate takeout just last week.”

“You didn’t have dinner with us last week,” Yusei said simply, digging through a pile of pamphlets until he grabbed what could only be assumed to be a takeout menu. “You were out with your girlfriend.”

Even after all this time, and after all the reassurances that he really didn’t mind, Suga knew being reminded that he was supposedly straight didn’t get any less weird for Daichi. Or uncomfortable. 

“Oh yeah,” he supplied with a grin, trying to erase the inevitable guilt knotting in his boyfriend’s gut. “I remember you mentioning that.”

Daichi shot him a look. “Fine, we can get takeout. Get your brother down here so we can pick what to order.”

The food came surprisingly fast, and the four of them tucked in happily. Haruo took up most of the conversation with his excitable questions and dinosaur trivia while Yusei added his own commentary in between, leaving Suga to sit back and watch as Daichi interrupted with corrections or reprimands (I don’t think dinosaurs ate any aliens. Eat your food, Haruo).

It also left him with some time to think about his father, and what he was going to do. 

He hadn’t been back to Miyagi in over three years, but even before that he hadn’t been particularly present after the divorce. Big opportunities in Tokyo, he’d said, whenever Suga asked why he was gone. It had become normal for him to just come home to a little apartment with his mother watching her baking show, and he’d happily accepted that as how life was going to be. 

But he had to admit, he was curious about what he wanted. Maybe it was just a genuine attempt to get to know him better, to make up for all the years of missing games and birthday parties and parent events at school. And however much he resented the man for not really being there, he couldn’t deny the hope that maybe, his father was going to try and be a part of his life after all. 

“They’re in that bottom drawer. See what you can find, I’ll make popcorn,” Daichi said, making his way back into the kitchen. It’d been a while since lunch and they’d decided on a movie, leaving Suga on DVD hunting duty while Daichi made snacks. 

Bottom drawer…

He pulled it open and found a neat stack of movies at the bottom, all of them old kids movies with the cases fairly worn. Ma and Dad kept them for us from when Daichi was a kid, Yusei explained. He’d have to ask how many times Daichi watched the lion king growing up if this was the condition of the case. But later, because the response would inevitably elicit some colour in his boyfriend’s cheeks and he wanted to be able to enjoy that away from ten years olds. 

Suga was just about finished sorting when he heard someone stop a little way behind him, and eyes on the back of his head. When he turned around Daichi was watching him from the doorway, arms crossed and a fond expression softening his gaze. 

“Admiring my ass, were you?” he whispered once he got out of the twin’s earshot. Daichi actually spluttered. 

“Shut up,” he muttered once his composure returned, but his face softened into an almost-smile as he turned to look Suga fully in the eyes. “No, I was actually thinking about today. And how good of a dad you’d make.”

And god, under Daichi’s warm and steady gaze, Suga could’ve sworn he’d stopped breathing. 

Had he just implied…?

“Sugawara-san?” Yusei called out, and the moment was gone. He thought he heard Daichi groan under his breath as he turned away, heading out towards the kitchen to do heaven knows what, and Suga couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face as he watched him go. “Sugawara-san, why are you smiling?”

He turned back to where the twins were sitting a few feet away, and his smile didn’t falter. “Am I not allowed to just be happy?”

Yusei’s nose scrunched up in disbelief. “You’re babysitting two preteens.”

The kid had a point. 

“Did Daichi tell you a secret?” Haruo supplied helpfully, and it looked like he wasn’t getting out of this so easily. “You were both whispering.”

Yusei gave him a look. “If it’s a secret why would he tell you?” 

Haruo ignored his brother. “Was it about his girlfriend? Were you guys talking about… kissing?” He whispered the last word, his face scrunching up in such a comical way that Suga couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“That’s enough, you two,” Daichi said, coming back with a bowl of popcorn. “Stop interrogation him.”

“So you were talking about your girlfriend!” 

Yusei elbowed him in the ribs, effectively shutting him up. 

“My girlfriend is none of your business,” Daichi said, and settled the popcorn bowel on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “Now can we watch a movie?”

They decided on Jurassic Park fairly quickly (Haruo didn’t leave much room for argument) and sat down on the sofa, with Haruo and Yusei on one side and he and Daichi on the other. 

They were close enough to hold hands under the blanket, but Daichi didn’t let their shoulders go near enough to brush. 

Suga said he didn’t mind the secrecy and the whole girlfriend thing, and he didn’t. He really didn’t, or he would’ve told Daichi and they would’ve talked about it. But sometimes he couldn’t help but wish he could just snuggle right into his boyfriend’s side in public and not be judged for it. He wanted to kiss him in the corridor between classes like everyone else constantly did, and unashamedly say he loved him without worrying about being overheard, or the texts being found out. It was frustrating. Infuriatingly unfair. But he understood there was very little to be done about it. 

And who knows, maybe it’ll work out. Maybe people are more open minded than they let on, and will come around eventually. 

With that thought, he squeezed Daichi’s hand and moved a little closer. 

“Sugawara-san?” 

It was Yusei, surprisingly enough, that called out for him after he left the Sawamura household. Daichi’s parents had gotten home a little earlier than expected and he’d remembered some homework he still needed to do, so he was off to the apartment when the kid caught him just as he approached their front gate. 

“Yusei?”

The kid hung back by the front steps but still closed the door behind him, standing awkwardly as he thought over what he was going to say. Suga recognised the expression – it was the same one Daichi wore when he was deliberately bringing something up. 

“Sorry to hold you up. I just wanted to know if Daichi’s okay.”

All the wittiness from before was gone, replaced by a timidness Suga struggled to associate to the kid. 

“Daichi? Did something happen?”

Yusei took his time answering, finding sudden interest in the sleeves of his hoodie. “I don’t know. He’s just been… different. And ever since he got that girlfriend Ma and Dad have been so much nicer to him, but I don’t think he likes her very much.”

Suga frowned. “What makes you say that?”

“He always looks so uncomfortable. You’d think having a girlfriend would be nice, but I don’t think he likes it.” 

Hearing that was strangely comforting, which only made Suga feel guilty. He shouldn’t be relieved that his boyfriend doesn’t like dating a fake girl, should he? It made absolutely no sense. 

“He always looks better around you, so I thought maybe you know something?” Yusei continued. “It’s dumb but… is she hurting him? Is that why he won’t let us meet her?”

God, the kid must’ve really been worried. 

“No, that’s not it at all. She’s not hurting him. As for Daichi being okay…” He paused, thinking carefully about what he would tell him. It’s not like he could explain everything that’s happened over the past few months. Wouldn’t be his place to say, and he wasn’t sure Daichi’s quite ready anyway. 

“Daichi’s a lot older than you and Haruo. I think it’s sweet you care about him, but don’t worry too much, alright? Just ask him if he’s doing okay once in a while, and if you think he’s lying just talk to someone who could help him. I’ll check in with him tomorrow, okay?”

Yusei nodded. “Thanks, Sugawara-san.”

Chapter Text

It’d been almost four months now, and he didn’t think he’d ever stop counting. Not when each kiss felt like taking something both forbidden and completely his, and each lazy Sunday afternoon spent at that kids park only further reminded him of how far they’d both come. How much he had to lose. 

I want to spend forever just like this, he wished, unrealistic as he knew it was. This is the happiest I’ve been in so long. 

Asahi and Yui were still the only ones who knew, and Daichi liked it like that. He didn’t mind the teasing eyebrows shot at them when there were no other people around, or the gentle smiles full of quiet reassurance. Reminded him not everyone thought it was a terrible thing, the way he looked at Suga and felt just a little bit happier. Lighter.

(You get butterflies!! Yui had squealed late one night over the phone, so loud Daichi had to turn the volume down. Who knew Sawamura Daichi is capable of butterflies?)

But for all their support, he couldn’t ignore what he kept hearing. The jokes people made in the gym locker rooms, the comments thrown around in the halls. It put him on edge every time someone said it, made him feel as if any moment he might be given away – that they’d notice he didn’t make the same comments about girls, didn’t walk around with them or kiss them in the corridors – and that they’d suddenly just know. That they’d turn those spiteful words onto him, and there’d be nothing he could do about it. 

And he hated it all more than anything. Felt like a coward every time he said nothing. How can I call myself brave when I can’t even shut down a few distasteful jokes? How can I lead the team, be a role model for my underclassmen if when it matters, I can’t do a thing?

The thoughts ate away at him, but he could always push them back. Keep the tide from rising, from drowning out everything else that was good. And if Suga noticed he said nothing about it, choosing instead to kiss him a little harder and hold his hand a little longer, and Daichi appreciated it more than he could tell him. 

Weekends were his greatest refuge. Late nights, too, but there was a limit to how long he could stay up before he’d be too tired to get through practice the next morning, and he refused to let something so personal get in the way of his responsibilities to the team. 

The best moments were spent in that old park, with ice lollies from the corner shop or meat buns on his way home, usually with Suga but also sometimes not. He’d go there to think on days where he was tired of hiding, tired of being scared. Sick of hearing slurs thrown around like it was the time of day, and feeling like he’d been punched every single time. 

Worst part is, it didn’t even feel fair to be this bothered by it. He’d always known it was reality, right? This is what people thought of people like him. 

But he couldn’t ignore it as much anymore. Wasn’t as easy when he knew Suga heard it too. That the twins would start understanding the words soon, would know what they meant. 

“Do you ever just think about running away?” 

Suga looked down at him then, fingers pausing where they were playing with his hair, before resuming their careful movements. 

“What, like without telling anyone? Just leaving and never coming back?”

He didn’t sound at all judgemental, cowardly as Daichi knew he was for even wishing that could be an option. 

“Yeah. I mean, I know it’s unrealistic. And we have responsibilities here, to the team and all that. But sometimes I think it’d be easier. If no one knew us.”

Suga said nothing, his fingers continuing to run gentle circles on his scalp. The sun was setting far ahead of them somewhere, casting them both in pale orange light and the rest of the playground in shadow, and from where Daichi was lying on Suga’s lap it seemed like the whole world was just them, the trees and the darkening sky. 

It wasn’t often that Daichi mentioned this kind of thing – he was so much more of a ‘face life’s challenges head on’ kind of person. But no matter how he thought about it, it never ended well. He’d have to come out eventually, and so would Suga. Someone would find out anyway if they didn’t. And as much as he hated it, the idea of abandoning everything here and living somewhere where people wouldn’t care… it was appealing, on some level. Even if he knew they could never do it. 

“I know what you mean,” Suga said quietly just as Daichi thought he wouldn’t respond. “I want to go somewhere where I can kiss you when I want to, and have no one call us something horrible. Want to feel safe when I hold your hand on a busy street because no one cares what we do when we’re alone. But that’s just a dream, right?”

Suga wasn’t looking at him, gaze fixed instead at the skyline.

“We’re probably never gonna have that one hundred percent. But I think unrealistic as it is, it’s a dream worth having, you know? I’m never gonna stop hoping things will get better. And if you’re still there, I don’t think it’ll be that hard.”

He looked down at Daichi then, only to frown at his wide grin. 

“Are you really taking the piss right now?”

Daichi laughed, because he knew Suga wasn’t actually mad. “No, I’m just… that was sappier than anything I’ve ever heard you say.”

Suga crossed his arms at that, jolting the leg Daichi was lying on to get him to move. “Well I’m sorry for trying to be serious. You’re no longer welcome on my lap.”

When Daichi didn’t move, he glanced down to meet his eyes again.

“It was sweet, okay?” Daichi started, reaching out for his hand and taking it. “I’m not making fun of you.”

Suga accepted that with a huff and went back to playing with his hair, frown lines long gone from his forehead.

They stayed for a little while longer like that, basking in the setting sun and the solitude of what they’d come to deem their little park, before Suga finally spoke up again. 

“What was that about, then?”

He should’ve really been expecting the question. Suga knew him better than anyone, of course he’d figure this kind of conversation wouldn’t come up unprompted.

“It’s nothing in particular,” he started, turning his face away from Suga’s eyes. “I was just thinking about something Takahashi said. Sounded like something my Dad would think.”

They both knew what that meant. 

Suga took a second to think of a good way to reply. “Are you going to tell Michimiya?”

He’d thought about it. But then what would he even say? I heard your boyfriend who you like very much say some shitty things about a part of me he doesn’t even know about. He was probably just being an ignorant dick and you don’t need me to tell you this, but here is the information anyway.

“What good would that do? I don’t want to ruin their relationship because of a few slurs and a joke. And there’s no guarantee she’d even find that much wrong with it. She’s been amazing about it all, but it doesn’t change what she’s been hearing her whole life.”

Suga just hummed in acknowledgement. There wasn’t much to say to that.

They walked home talking about an upcoming practice match with Nekoma, over at their rival team’s school. Ukai had been pushing them hard all week in preparation for it. It was supposed to be a pleasant break from the spring nationals training as well as an opportunity to face a much stronger team, and if Daichi was being perfectly honest, he was looking forward to seeing some members of the Nekoma team again.

The sun was only barely peeking out from below the horizon when they finally reached a road quiet and dark enough to say their goodbyes. It was where they usually parted ways now, finding it the closest point to both their homes, and usually deserted enough that a quick kiss goodbye would go unnoticed. 

“Good night,” Daichi said, stopping in front of the already darkened window of a shop. Experience told them the owner was a sweet old lady that closed about an hour before they usually came by, and so became their unofficial parting spot.

“Night, handsome,” Suga said back, and reached forward to pull Daichi into a kiss. 

It wasn’t anything special; they must’ve done this a million times over the last few months. Walking out to this road, just as dusk hit and the shadows were longest, and parting ways after pulling apart. It was always over before either of them really wanted it to and then Suga was walking in the opposite direction, leaving Daichi to make his own way home.

It shouldn’t have been any different. They’d made it this far without any problems, right? But as he glanced around the empty street he saw it wasn’t as empty as they’d thought, the face of a young man peering out from a convenience store window. 

Suga was long gone, and there was no way the guy hadn’t seen them. He still hadn’t moved, so Daichi held out hope that he wasn’t going to do anything, deciding instead to walk as if nothing had happened. Maybe he didn’t care? They probably didn’t even know him.

The thought still made him anxious, but he let himself forget it. Nothing would come of it, right?

Wrong. 

Chapter Text

Takeda Ittetsu took great pride in his job, both as an educator and as a faculty advisor for the volleyball team. Cheesy as it was, he’d always wanted to end up here: in a position to inspire and guide young people to do their very best, and if he could, make their teenage years a little less stressful to handle. 

The boys in the volleyball club made him particularly proud of what he did. To watch their never ending determination blossom into growth, into wins they came home with only to resolve to work harder. They reminded him of everything good about being young. 

And you know what? 

He might’ve set out to inspire them, but really it was them who inspired him. 

“Hey Takeda? Look at this,” one of his colleagues called out, stopping just in front of his desk in the teacher’s lounge. He still had papers to grade but curiosity got the better of him, so he stood and went to see what it was his coworker was holding. 

Turns out it was a phone – a student’s, probably, if the rather vulgar language on its case was any indication – open and on a page he couldn’t properly see yet. As he came closer, his colleague held it out for him to take, starting on an explanation. 

“It’s from one of the third year boys, he had it on during my lesson. Usually I’d tell him to turn it off and get it back at the end of the day, but he wouldn’t stop snickering at it. That’s what I found him texting about.”

He couldn’t stop staring at the words on the phone. 

It was clearly on a group chat, where about five or six boys had been talking about… someone. Most of it looked like childish nonsense, with particularly bad jokes mixed in the middle, but the further up he scrolled, the more concerning the language became. 

“Who are they talking about?”

The teacher grimaced, taking the phone back for a second before opening a picture attached by one of the boys. 

Takeda could only stare.

“Pretty sure he’s in your volleyball club,” the other man continued. “Might not turn into anything serious, but I figured I’d let you know.”

He turned away at that, but Takeda didn’t move. His eyes were glued to the screen, to the picture, his mind recalling all the words these boys had used. 

Does he know yet? Have they said these things to his face? Has the rest of the class caught on, and will the entire school know by lunch?

Sometimes he forgot that there were less nice parts about being a teacher, and seeing something so cruel about to happen to someone he knew was always so dependably kind was one of them. 

“I’ll take care of it,” he said eventually, more to himself than anyone else, and switched it off. 

As soon as Daichi walked into school that morning, he knew it’d be a bad day. 

Even with the morning sun on his back, everything felt just wrong enough to make him uncomfortable. No morning practice today, Coach Ukai couldn’t make it and the second years had a test. Suga had taken off as soon as they’d entered the school gates, shouting an apology and something about forgetting his tutoring notes, and so Daichi made his way to his home room alone. 

Normally he wouldn’t mind, but...

There was something off about the way some of the third years looked at him, like they knew something he didn’t. It wasn’t everyone – most greeted and acknowledged him in the same casual way as always – but there was undeniably a shift in some people’s attitude towards him. 

There were odd glances, glares, and everything right up to purposely bumping into him as he tried to make his way to the classroom. Some whispers followed him in the corridors, and maybe he was being paranoid, but some people seemed to be going out of their way to avoid touching him. 

Daichi elected to ignore all of it, even as panic threatened to override every rational thought he had.

He had to remind himself to keep breathing. There was contempt in their eyes and he couldn’t place for the life of him what he’d done, or what he could’ve failed to do. He barely even spoke to these guys anyway, and had always made it a point to be courteous towards everyone. 

(It wasn’t lost on him what it most likely was about, but that train of thought was shut down before he could get too far into it. Having a panic attack in the middle of a history lesson would do no one any favours)

Maybe they don’t actually know, he kept reminding himself, hoping if he said it enough it’d turn out to be true. This could be about anything. 

He stopped believing that when someone’s fist connected with his jaw, and that horrible, horrible word was spat at him as he took three steps back. 

Something in him knew he should throw one back. There were maybe three boys around him at most. It wouldn’t be hard to take them on, not with his build and their lousy form. But his jaw kept throbbing, and his mind didn’t get any clearer, and he found he couldn’t move. 

Because that word. 

It’s what you are, no?

It’s what you are and what you’ll always be, and no amount of pretending will ever change that. 

Distantly, he was aware of hands grabbing his collar, and someone getting all up in his face. He shouldn’t have come back here, to the bench behind the school. This was where teachers were the least likely to find him, where anyone who could do something was least likely to look. 

“You know,” one of the boys drawled, and he thought he recognised that voice in particular. “I always took you for a normal one. But here we are, aren’t we?”

Normal one. 

An echo of his father’s words, spoken with so much disgust he could’ve been talking about a broken sewage pipe. 

“Shame your boyfriend isn’t here to see you. Maybe he could kiss it better?”

Bringing up Suga was their own mistake, really, because it brought back a little clarity. 

“Fuck off,” he said, more aggressively than intended, pushing the guy off him. He fell, losing his balance and tumbling to the ground, but he didn’t look hurt to Daichi. “Keep him out of it.”

Wrong thing to do, apparently. 

“Watch where your hands go,” the first boy said lowly, the one he had to thank for the bruise darkening on his face. He helped his friend to his feet and got close, so close they were sharing the same breath. “Just because some whore decided he’d tolerate your mouth on his doesn’t mean we all want it.”

And stupid as it was, those words made him doubt every single kiss he and Suga had ever shared. 

“See that roof over there?” the boy continued, still not backing away. “Do us all a favour and fling yourself off it. Save your parents some disappointment, you know?”

Save your parents some disappointment, you know?

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it, a long time ago. Back when he’d first realised he liked boys the way he was supposed to feel about girls. It’d never been a serious consideration, and he’d forgotten about it long before he’d decided to confess to Suga, but still. 

They were thoughts he’d rather have forgotten. 

The boy raised his hand again, in a perfect position to hit him round the face, but before he could there were two adults coming towards them, shouting something he was beyond trying to comprehend. The first got between him and the other boys, backing them towards the other side of the path, while the second put a hand on his shoulder. 

He flinched, he couldn’t help it. 

It took him too long to realise that the teacher was none other than Mr. Takeda, and that he was being led away from the scene. 

An ice pack found its way into his hand, something he only really noticed after he’d sat down in whatever empty office he was in right now. There was a desk in front of him, probably one of the teacher’s if the stack of ungraded papers were any indication, but he didn’t let his eyes linger on them too long, instead dropping them to his lap where his hands were still wrapped around the pack. 

Maybe he should’ve brought it up to his face, kept the angry mark he was inevitably supporting from getting any worse. But right that second there was only one thing he could think about. 

“Sorry about that,” Mr. Takeda said, coming in and closing the door softly behind him. “Your parents have been called down here and so have the guardians of those boys, but I wanted to see how you’re doing first.”

It wasn’t really a question, not directly, but it was clear his teacher was expecting an answer. 

But truth be told, he wasn’t sure he had one. 

“I’m okay,” he went with, because going into how hot the room felt and how close he was to undoing the first three buttons on his shirt just to try and breathe, get some air inside his lungs that didn’t feel too short and not really air enough felt too heavy for the quiet of the office, too much drama when he was sitting here and in no immediate danger. “It doesn’t hurt too bad,” he added, as if trying to convince even himself.

Mr. Takeda stared down at him with an unreadable expression for a few moments, before shifting to grab something behind him. 

“Here,” he said. “Drink something.”

The water was cool. Not as groundingly cold as the ice pack still grasped firmly in his other hand, but enough that it soothed his throat and cleared his mind just a little. Everything still felt a little unreal, as if he wasn’t really here and none of that had really just happened, but hey. 

It was better than panicking. 

“Once your parents arrive we’ll be going to the vice principal’s office. I can sit in, if you want, but that’s up to you. The other boys are likely to face a few days suspension, and I doubt you’ll get in any trouble. You didn’t throw any punches back, did you?”

Daichi shook his head.

“Okay. Stay there for a while, I’m going to check on how things are outside.”

He left with that, and all Daichi could think was, where could I even go?

Chapter Text

He didn’t think he’d ever seen his father so angry as they walked through the halls to the principal’s office, Mr. Takeda not too far behind. The usually stoic man was absolutely fuming, face contorted in silent rage that grew less and less controlled the closer to the room they got. 

At least that anger is still on my behalf, Daichi thought, and didn’t dare think about what would go down when it was finally turned on him. 

They turned another corner and a door had clearly been left half open for them, several figures already inside. Daichi couldn’t say he’d been inside the principal’s office before, but it was certainly bigger than he’d expected. 

Four chairs had already been laid out, three to the right of the desk and one to the left. The boys that had attacked him earlier were already there, parents stood behind them with their hands on the backs of the chairs, holding on unnaturally tightly. They relaxed forcibly as he and his father stepped into the room, giving them a good mixture of glares and disgusted looks. 

“Mr. Sawamura, thank you for joining us. Please take a seat, Daichi. Mr. Takeda, too, come in.”

The principal of Karasuno High School was a sharp man, for lack of a better word. His suit was well ironed and his tie was perfectly straight, and not a hair on head looked out of place. Dark eyes followed them inside, focusing specifically on him, and then on his father.

Everything about him screamed I know what I’m doing, and Daichi couldn’t really be more grateful for that right now. Maybe he’d have the sense to handle this delicately, and avoid outing him to his father. 

“First I’d like to say this is a very serious situation. We don’t tolerate fighting at this school, nor can I let the obvious provocation and clear targeting go unaddressed. Mr. Takeda,” he said, glancing back at the teacher, “has informed me of some wildly inappropriate language and personal information shared around on a group chat during school hours, discovered after a phone was confiscated. To then act on such words is completely unacceptable behaviour.”

The room was silent. Some of the parents shifted, the boys exchanged a glance. Daichi started to wish he had the ice pack back in his hands. 

“That being said,” the principal continued, “it takes two parties to start a fight. What was your involvement in this, after these boys came up to you?”

The fact that it was still being called a fight annoyed him a little, but he pushed the feeling away. Cooperating quietly gave him the best chance of getting out of this without them having to go into the why. 

Seemed his father had a different idea. 

“What was his involvement?” the man started, tone level but deathly cold. “Boy’s never picked a fight in his life. You don’t see those three little bastards with a bruise across their face. Anything my son did was in self defence, and to suggest otherwise shows complete incompetence and lack of good judgement on the faculty’s part.”

Daichi could barely believe what he was hearing. His father had never talked positively about him for this long, let alone defended him this way. 

“I understand that, Mr. Sawamura, but I really think-”

“I’d like to know exactly why I’m even here. Those boys should be suspended, for picking a fight without reason. And my son should get an apology. Should’ve already gotten an apology.”

He let himself breathe a little easier at that. Would it all really be that simple? No justifications, no explanations. He’d get at least another day at home with no one any the wiser. 

School would be a whole different story, but…

“We were just putting him in his place,” one of the boys grumbled, to the quick reprimand of his mother. “Not like he didn’t deserve it, fucking boy-lover.”

Nobody moved. Panicked, Daichi glanced up at the principal, who was frowning, and then at Mr. Takeda, who was staring at him anxiously. 

“Kindly keep those kinds of words to yourself. This is a school, after all,” was all the principal had to offer in his defence. 

And fuck, he could’ve cried right there. 

He felt his father’s hand tighten on the seat behind him, knuckles pressing into his back. He shifted a little so he couldn’t feel them anymore but his father’s other hand came up to rest on his shoulder, effectively pinning him in place. 

“What’s he talking about?” he said lowly. Daichi had to make a conscious effort to breathe. 

“Mr. Sawamura, I’m sure this is a discussion you’d rather have at home, so if we could return to the matter…”

“Is it true?” his father cut in, hand on his shoulder getting tighter. It didn’t hurt, not yet, but he couldn’t say it was comfortable. “Well?”

The entire room was waiting for an answer. None of the adults moved to interfere, not even Mr. Takeda. 

No one’s going to save you now. There’s no lying out of it, the boys would say something. Their parents would say something.

Seemed the silence was answer enough. 

“Sorry for wasting your time, principal. And for demanding the boys be punished without knowing the full story. We’ll accept whatever reprimand you decide on for his part in the fight.” His voice was gruff, quiet. Laced with the same disgust he always used to aim at other people, twisted and perverted people, as he used to say. “We’re leaving, boy, come on.”

He forced Daichi to his feet but let go immediately after, moving to open the door. There were protests from the principal, from Mr. Takeda, a few comments from the parents and some mutterings amongst the boys. Daichi heard none of it as he followed his father out, mind infuriatingly blank as he focused on keeping one foot in front of the other. No thoughts came, whatever he tried to do to make himself reason this out. It all felt too foggy. 

No one came to ask what he wished they would’ve, a simple will you be okay? or an are you safe at home? Because really, he didn’t know, he couldn’t even begin to start figuring those answers out, and the uncertainty all this was bringing made him more anxious than anything. 

He’d be okay as soon as he knew exactly what he was dealing with. 

The car ride home was mostly silent. Now a little past lunch, there wasn’t too much traffic to slow them down. Daichi cursed how short the ride ended up being. The silence was suffocating but it was better than whatever lay in store for him at home, behind closed walls. 

“Get out of my sight,” was the only thing his father said as he pulled up in front of their house, and Daichi got out and shouldered his school bag without a word. 

He didn’t respond when his mother called out to him from the kitchen, nor did he correct her when she thought he was his father. He knew he should’ve – he owed her the most basic of courtesy, after all – but all he could think to do right now was go upstairs and wait for it to crash down. To find out if he was sleeping here tonight still. 

For lack of anything better to do, he emptied his gym bag of anything unnecessary and got to work packing some older clothes, as well as an extra pair of school pants and a shirt. He had to stop and sit a few times, vision too blurry with tears and head spinning too much to do anything, but he was careful not to make a sound. And then keep going as soon as he could. 

It seemed he was still incapable of thinking straight, and he guessed it was just as well. The autopilot he was currently operating on was more than enough to get himself organised, but beyond that, he didn’t think he could handle his thoughts right now. 

Rechecking his bag turned into just lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, which promptly turned to muting his phone after it started pinging uncontrollably. Guess school had let out, then. He wondered where Suga was right now, and how many of those messages were his. If he was even okay after all of that got chucked right out into the open, something that no one should’ve been allowed to do. 

It was theirs. Their secret. Their lives affected by the shitstorm the rest of the school would undoubtedly work up. 

It wasn’t fair that they were robbed of the choice. 

The twins must’ve come home at some point, because he heard his mother shepherding them upstairs to play video games while she went back downstairs to finish dinner. The interaction broke his heart a little, but he didn’t think going out of his room would help things. 

(That’s it, go to your rooms and play some games, alright? Your father and I need to talk in the kitchen. We’ll call you when dinner’s ready, okay? she’d said, and stopped just outside his room to watch them settle down. He could see her shadow under the door, the light from the corridor flooding streaming in and illuminating part of his floor. 

Are you crying, Ma?

It was Haruo who asked, voice full of innocent concern. A long pause followed that, where their mother sniffed and huffed a laugh. 

I was, honey, but you don’t have to worry, okay? We’re just talking about some adult problems. Play your games, then we can have a nice family dinner, alright?

Haruo seemed to accept that, the sound of their xbox turning on easily heard through the walls, but Yusei wasn’t satisfied. 

Where’s Daichi?

In his room, sweetheart. Don’t disturb him, okay? He thought some silly things and some boys at school tried to correct him, but they were really mean about it. Give him some time.

Tears had fallen faster at that, and he’d tried to curl into himself and lie on his side but then the bruise was in contact with the pillow, which meant he was wincing and turning back into his back until the pain calmed down.)

They were called down to dinner about an hour later, and Daichi was starting to regret not icing his face properly because the second Yusei saw it he froze, and Haruo stopped talking, and his mother very nearly dropped a plate.

Maybe his father hadn’t mentioned the part about them punching him round the face. 

Still, nobody said anything. Dinner was awkward and most of the silence was filled by his mother asking the twins things about their days, but neither gave very long answers or engaged in the conversation. Haruo wouldn’t stop staring at his face and Yusei wouldn’t keep his eyes off their father, who hadn’t said a word the entire meal. 

And Daichi? His father didn’t even acknowledge he was there, and his mother only made eye contact once to ask him to pass something, but even that was broken too quickly to be natural. But it was better than shouting, at least for the twin’s sake, so he was careful not to do anything that’d upset the fragile calm. 

Eating hurt, but he tried to keep the wincing to a minimal. He wasn’t even that hungry but skipping out on dinner meant he’d be feeling weak tomorrow, and there was practice first thing. Plus, it’s not like he got a chance to eat lunch. The twins were told to go upstairs as soon as they were finished and play quietly, which they did without complaint. 

That left him in a two-quiet kitchen, with his father that wouldn’t look at him and his mother who had finally raised her eyes to meet his. 

“Is Sugawara the other boy?” she asked, voice just barely steady but full of a sad understanding. 

The other one? The one you’ve been running around with?

Is it Sugawara who did this to you?

“Yeah,” he said, gaze falling back to his lap. 

His father scoffed, and Daichi felt rage bubble up inside his chest. He wasn’t quite sure what prompted such a reaction after everything that’d happened today, but something about how condescending it sounded flipped something in him, he found himself raising his head once more. 

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“Is there something wrong with that?” his father mocked, finally lifting his eyes, too. “Boy, you’re about to throw your life away for something so unspeakably perverse, and you want to know what’s wrong with it?”

His voice was rising in volume and pitch, growing angrier with every word. Ma reached out to him, placing a hand on top of his as a gentle warning, but he pulled away. 

“Daichi, listen to us, okay? We just want you to be happy,” his mother said softly, still side-eyeing his father. “We want what’s best for you. And right now, that’s ridding yourself of these ideas and staying away from him.”

He stared at her, feeling tears burn his eyes but it didn’t matter. She looked so small compared to his father sitting beside her, eyes so tired. He thought some silly things and some boys at school tried to correct him is what she’d told the twins. Did she believe that? 

He figured in the end, it didn’t matter. “Do you, though, Ma? Want to see me happy?” he asked, voice shaking even as he tried to keep it steady. “Because Suga makes me happy. He makes me happier than anything. I can be me around him, not whoever everyone else wants me to be. And this is me, Ma. I can’t change. I’m sorry, I tried, but now I don’t think I want to.”

He wiped away his tears with his sleeve and waited for her to say something, but it was his father who spoke up. 

“Get out of my house,” he said lowly. “You’re not my son.”

And the tears fell harder, but he’d been expecting this. 

“Hito-”

“No. I won’t have him.”

Daichi stood and turned, just as he heard his mother start crying. His own tears wouldn’t stop either, but he ignored them. There’d be time for crying later, for feeling every moment of today. But right now he had to go, and find himself somewhere safe before night fell properly. 

His bag was already packed, lying next to the bed. He took a moment to pocket his phone, a charger, and a few loose notes he kept in his desk drawer. To stare at a room he’d made his own, and now probably wouldn’t see for a while.

“Are you leaving?”

He turned around to find Yusei at the door, in his alien pyjamas and a sweatshirt that looked a little too big for his frame. His brother looked close to tears, as well, and Daichi wiped his own away and motioned for him to come in. 

“Yeah, I am.”

He took his brother in a hug, and held him as he buried his face into his side. Sometimes he forgot the kid was still so small; for all his wit and sarcasm he was just ten, like Haruo. 

“Is Dad making you leave?” he mumbled, and Daichi pulled away to look at him. As much as he wanted to hate his father right now, Yusei wasn’t a part of it. He couldn’t turn his brother against his father for something he didn’t have an opinion on yet. 

“No, I’m choosing to. I don’t like leaving you and Haruo but I think that’s for the best right now, you know?” he said, and Yusei nodded. “Take care, okay? And I’ll try to visit soon.”

Yusei stepped back and wiped his eyes as Daichi slung his gym bag over his shoulder and reached out to ruffle his hair, which he didn’t grumble about for the first time in ages. Daichi let himself smile a little, before walking out. 

“Bye, Haruo,” he called out as he passed the twins’ room. The door was only slightly ajar, but Daichi could still see his brother sprawled across the lower bunk with his dinosaur hoodie, not a care in the world as his fingers moved over the controls. 

“Bye Daichi!” Haruo called back, over the sounds of whatever game he was playing. 

Maybe it was better this way. 

The front door closed behind him with a click, and no one stopped him. 

Chapter Text

Seven missed calls from Suga, two from Yui, and countless texts he didn’t want to read. He was starting to regret turning his phone on, all the notifications making him uneasy. How many of those were people who’d just found out today from gossip and wanted to let him know what they thought of him?

A couple crossed the road a little way ahead of him, holding hands and talking quietly. Probably just back from a date if the flowers were any indication. He couldn’t help but stare, wishing more than anything he could do that too and not get so much shit for it, but the woman seemed to notice and turned her head back to look at him, eyes full of concern. 

Guess that’s fair, he thought, lowering his eyes and turning his phone off. I must look like shit. 

It was relatively early still (about eight o’clock) and the sky was only just turning properly dark, the last traces of daylight fading out on the horizon way ahead of him. Only now was it really hitting him: it would be night soon, and he had maybe five thousand yen and a gym bag full of clothes to his name, and no real idea of where to head. The thought made his head spin. 

He knew he couldn’t go to Yui’s. Her parents would absolutely let his own parents know where he was, and kick him out too when they found out why he left. Which kind of stung to acknowledge, after all the years of sleepovers and indoor volleyball games and perfectly made ramen, but in the end, he knew Mr. and Mrs. Michimiya held the same ideal as his parents. 

He started walking if only to have something to do, not heading anywhere in particular but instead letting his own feet decide where to go. It’s not like it’d make much difference where he ended up until he made a plan, anyway. The long shadows of the buildings were quickly becoming part of the permanent dark, of the night falling around them. Daichi didn’t let his thoughts wander too much as he weaved through the streets absently, keen on looking like he was going somewhere. Like he knew where that somewhere was. 

He passed shop after closed shop, some of them still illuminated but most already out. There were a few open convenience stores, too, but he walked past those as well, not seeing the point in going in if he was just going to leave empty handed. The few people that were still around at this hour mostly ignored him, although some did give him a look or two as he adjusted the gym bag on his shoulder – it was nice to know seeing a high schooler with a packed bag and a prominent bruise on the side of his face still set off alarm bells in some people’s minds. 

But no one actually said anything, so he walked on.

At about nine he finally stopped by a bench on an empty street, with no plan and no one to call. He kept thinking of Suga, of what Suga must’ve heard, of where Suga must be. At least a fifth of the hundreds of texts were his. Daichi wanted to call. He wanted so bad to hear his boyfriend’s voice, and to feel like things were just a little more okay. Within his control. 

But he didn’t think he could face anyone right now. Least of all Suga. 

Not after what the boys said. Not after he agreed, even felt he deserved it. Not when he still wasn’t sure if he did. He couldn’t look Suga in the eye and admit I did nothing, because I don’t think I’m proud of who I am. Of what we are. Couldn’t stand there and not, because Suga should know. He should know he was dating someone with doubts, who was so fucking terrified of who he was and what that meant that he still cried at night sometimes and wished he was different. That he had been born normal, like his parents had always wanted. 

But tonight had snapped something into place, it seemed. He still didn’t think he was ready to announce it to the world. But he kind of wanted to. Wanted to say fuck you, I love him and none of your hateful garbage will ever change that. I’m me, and I don’t want to change that because being different would mean losing what I have with the greatest person I’ve ever met. 

He didn’t have to be what his parents wanted. 

And the tears that fell then, under the waning moon and illuminated by a flickering streetlight, were more relief than sadness. Because maybe it was okay. Maybe he was so utterly fucked that it didn’t matter what happened next, things couldn’t possibly get bleaker.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out, ready to turn it off again if it was something from his parents. Or maybe hoping it was, he didn’t know. 

It was Suga instead. 

___

Suga (42)

it’s late and Michimiya hasn’t heard from u either and I don’t wanna call again in case ur in a…
____

The rest of the notification didn’t show up on his lock screen, so he’d have to open up Suga’s contact if he wanted to read the rest. 

And then he’d know Daichi had read it. 

Would that be so terrible? Maybe he’d be reassured. And I wouldn’t have to reply?

It buzzed again. 

___

Suga (43)

i just want to know ur safe 

____

He had to wipe at his face after reading that, tears beginning to well up again. Because fuck knew he wasn’t safe. He probably wasn’t even close, out here on a park bench in the dark. 

And his father didn’t care, as long as he still loved who he loved, and if his mother did she didn’t do anything to show it. 

But Suga did. 

Suga had always cared. 

So against the nagging doubts in his mind, he unlocked his phone and opened up Suga’s messages, starting to read from the top. 

Suga
(43) unread messages 

hey handsome ;)
just finished up tutoring and should meet u outside soon

daichi??

hi
uh

i don’t know what happened but Noya said he saw u and Mr. Takeda?? and ur face was a mess
are u okay

just saw ur dad in the parking lot
he didn’t look happy
some kids keep whispering about u and im this close to hitting something 
no one will tell me whats going on
michimiya doesnt know either
call me when u can?
or just text to let me know ur ok

[missed call, 14.02]

[missed call, 14.03]

[missed call, 14.05]

fuck
daichi
im so sorry
asahi just heard what happened 
someone sent around a picture
mr. akashi confiscated about 20 phones, after everyone started whispering
im hiding rn

in the toilets
im probably not helping am i 
shit
just text me back, ok?

[message unsent]

[message unsent]

[message unsent]

[missed call, 16.22]

michimiya walked me home im fine, in case u were worried
u probably were
they couldn’t tell it was me
but i can tell them, if it means u wont be alone
dramatically tho
rub it in all their faces that im the happiest person alive, having u
or not
we can not
whatever u want, im good with
call me back soon

[missed call, 17.36]

[missed call, 18.09]

[message unsent]

[message unsent]

[missed call, 18.56]

it’s late and Michimiya hasn’t heard from u either and I don’t wanna call again in case ur in a shitty position with ur parents but

i just want to know ur safe 

He had to read it all twice, guilt eating away at him as he thought about what it must’ve felt like to Suga, not knowing what was happening. Hearing about it from other people and not being sure where he was, or if he was okay. 

Guessing he probably wasn’t. 

I’m safe, he typed out, then deleted it. Then typed it out again. 

I’m safe , he sent, and waited. Then added, I’m not at home. 

Suga came online in an instant, three little dots typing furiously. 

He typed for a long time, but his message was short. 

can you call?

Daichi considered it for a moment. 

phone’s dying, he said, because technically it was true. A call might not kill it completely, but he wasn’t so comfortable spending the night outside with less than 30%. 

then come over. 

He stared at it for far too long, trying to process the words. Could he really just go? What about… what about everything? What if the conversation they’d inevitably have to have ruined what they had? What if Suga hadn’t yet realised he’d done nothing when the boys came up to him, and didn’t want such a coward for a-

ok, he typed back, before he could stop himself. Because right now he was cold, and the tight feeling in his chest was coming back, and nothing sounded better than seeing Suga again. Even if it was just for a little while. 

Chapter Text

The gym bag seemed to get heavier and heavier the closer he got to Suga’s place, knot in his chest only tightening when he turned onto his road. He could see the apartment clear as day, just a couple of buildings along from where he was standing. 

He’d been inside enough times to know that it was the kitchen lights that were on, not Suga’s bedroom ones. 

There were lights on in the entranceway, thankfully, and he climbed the stairs as quietly as he could. Passing apartment after apartment as went, wondering what he was gonna say when the door opened. What he’d do if Suga asked, did you just let them do this to you?

The answer would be yes, but he didn’t think he could say so. 

At last he stopped in front of what he knew was Suga’s door, the little potted flower outside confirmation enough that he was at the right place. The welcome mat, a simple woody colour read in black letters, home sweet home. 

Daichi felt like he was intruding, in a place so obviously full of warmth. 

He stood there for a long time. Staring at the mat, at the little pink flowers, at the number 28 nailed to the door. Breathing was becoming more and more of a task, the longer he stood there. It felt so wrong, to turn up here at night in his uniform, without Suga by his side.

Eventually, he reached out and knocked. 

It wasn’t Suga who answered the door. 

The woman in front of him looked much like him, though, silver hair tied back in a bun and her eyes just as warm as the ones he was used to seeing. She looked a little surprised to see him, or maybe it was just that he’d clearly been crying and she hadn’t been expecting that, but she didn’t stop smiling softly. Her gaze fell to his cheek but didn’t linger there, instead stepping back to allow him in. 

“Come on in, dear. I’ll go get Suga, he’s just in his room,” she said, turning around and leaving him to close the door. The bright lights were a little strange compared to the dark outside, and he felt even more out of place as he glanced around. Everything looked so loved, here. 

The sound of footsteps made him look up again, rushed and uneven in pace. “Hold on, he’s here. I’ll call you back later, promise,” Suga half-whispered, finally coming into view from where Daichi was still standing awkwardly at the entrance. 

Brown eyes widened at the sight of his face, and the phone in his hand almost dropped to the floor. 

“ Fuck, Daichi,” he said, jogging forward to stand barely a foot from Daichi’s face. “They did that to you?”

Rhetorical question, probably. Or at least Daichi hoped. 

He didn’t have time to overthink it too much, though, because next thing he knew there were strong arms wrapping around his neck, bringing his face down to rest on something warm. 

Suga’s shoulder, he realised.

Daichi sagged into the hug, closing his eyes and letting go of any pretence that he was still in one piece. The knot in his chest seemed to loosen a little as he breathed in the scent of Suga, of coconut shampoo and whatever fabric softener had been used on his sweatshirt, and though his eyes stayed dry he was close, close to sobbing and muttering apologies and hoping the burning love in Suga’s eyes wouldn’t fade with the night. 

The gym bag slipped off his shoulder and landed on the floor with a soft thud, bringing Suga a little closer as he squeezed a little tighter. This was everything he’d been wanting, an overwhelming feeling of safety settling in his bones. It was warm, here. He never wanted to leave. 

“Boys?”

They parted at the sound of Mrs. Sugawara’s voice, trailing in from the kitchen over the quiet hissing of the kettle. Suga offered him a smile, sad and watery and full of unspoken words, before digging his palms into his eyes and wiping away the unshed tears. 

Daichi picked up his bag and followed him into the kitchen. 

“The spare futon’s already set up. I thought you’d like some time to talk, so I’ll be in the next room if you need anything,” Mrs. Sugawara said to them, pouring out the boiling water into a little cat mug. The teabag she’d grabbed was from a brand Daichi’d heard of, mostly from Suga when he talked about ‘camomile tea sent from the gods’.

“Thanks, Mum,” Suga said, and motioned for Daichi to come more fully into the room. He did, feeling more awkward than anything, but no one commented on his tenseness. 

“Just don’t stay up too late, okay? You boys have school tomorrow.”

Suga nodded gratefully, and came forward to kiss his mother’s cheek. “We won’t. Goodnight,” he said, and she simply smiled. Sipped the tea from her cat mug. 

Daichi followed Suga into the adjoining corridor and then into his room, which had barely changed since the last time he’d been over. He came over frequently when he walked Suga to and from school, but hadn’t actually been up here in almost a full year. Nice to see the drawings were still up, along with a few new pictures of the team.

Suga threw his phone onto his pillow and sank down into the bed, not immediately making eye contact. Daichi thought he preferred it this way, the lack of focus on him as they figured out a way to start talking about today. Even if it was just Suga with him, and he’d never minded his eyes before. 

“You should change.”

Suga was staring at the bag. Daichi’s gaze turned away from the walls to look at him, sitting in a sweatshirt a little too big for him, and Suga’s eyes rose to meet his. There were so many questions in them, and a multitude of unvoiced thoughts. 

Daichi thanked him silently for not starting with any of that. 

He put the bag down and opened it, pulling out the first shirt and shorts he saw. They were soft, and far less stiff than his uniform, and having them on instead of his shirt relaxed him a little. Suga alternated between watching him and playing with the hem of his sleeve, which he kept twisting and untwisting around his fingers. 

Eventually, Daichi stuffed his uniform back into the back and stood there, waiting for Suga to say something more. 

Something like, are you suspended now? For punching their guts out after they hit you?

“Does it hurt?” was the first question that came out of Suga’s mouth, after a beat of silence. Daichi reached up to brush his fingers against the dull ache of his cheek; it was sore, sure, and sometimes if he moved his jaw wrong it would hurt so bad he’d wince, but it wasn’t so terrible that he had to voice that.

“Not much,” he went with, and moved to sit down too. His fingers reached out to where Suga’s were, pale against the dark sheets, but ended up balling them into fists again before they could entwine their fingers. 

He felt like he should be saying something here. Explaining what’d happened, reassuring them both that he was okay. Doing something. 

But honestly, he didn’t think he knew what’d happened, not really, and he was about as far from okay as it was possible to be. How was he supposed to explain himself if he couldn’t even begin to rationalise what he was feeling? If sitting here in Suga’s room only barely felt real, like the entirety of the day had just been one long hazy dream?

Suga was biting his lip, playing with his sleeve. Trying to find the right thing to say, too. 

Daichi spread out his fingers again, keeping them still on purpose this time. Letting Suga notice the tiny space between them and move. And he did, glancing up at Daichi first to check it was okay before putting his own hand over it, warm and heavy and there. Realer than anything else in the room. 

And suddenly the knot in his chest was back, but this time it was choking him. He wasn’t even sure why the simple gesture stirred up so much in him – maybe it was the day, finally slamming into him full force, or the realisation that he wasn’t in danger anymore – but nothing could stop the overwhelming wave of emotion that washed over him at that. Everything from relief to terror to craving a little more of that warmth. 

And before he could think to stop them, tears he’d been mostly holding back fell thickly, and he had to hold his breath to stop himself from sobbing. 

“Daichi?” 

He’d been staring at their hands. Suga noticed, squeezed his fingers softly, but the thumb that had been tracing little circles on the back stopped moving. Daichi, distantly, began wishing they hadn’t. 

“I don’t know how to help,” Suga said, so quietly Daichi almost didn’t hear it. But he did, and there was so much pain in there. 

Daichi shook his head. 

Don’t… don’t feel bad, he wanted to say. 

It’s enough that you’re here with me. 

Suga shifted a little. Shuffling back so he could lean against the wall, he waited. His arms were open, so inviting. Daichi fell into them gratefully. 

His head came down to rest on Suga’s chest, and he allowed himself a sob. Gentle fingers came up to play with his hair, tracing little patterns on his scalp, and even though his breaths were even, Daichi knew Suga’s eyes weren’t dry. 

“I’m sorry,” he started with, after he started breathing a little more steadily. Because that’s the only thing he could think to say. I’m sorry for ghosting you. For leaving you to worry for so long without knowing what was happening. Sorry for not being prouder of us, so that today could’ve gone a little different. Sorry for-

“Don’t,” Suga said, and he felt the words more than he really heard them. “None of today was your fault.”

None of today was your fault. 

And maybe he’d needed to hear that, after everything. 

“I didn’t fight back,” he argued weakly, burning his face further into Suga. Taking advantage of every second of warmth while it was still there. 

“Then what would’ve happened? They would have even more reason to get away with it all.” Which was true, if he thought about it enough. “It shouldn’t have happened in the first place, love. You’re not to blame for any of it.”

Daichi took that in quietly. The fingers in his hair didn’t stop, and neither did the rhythmic rising and falling of Suga’s chest. 

It was a long time before either of them spoke again. 

“What are we going to do?”

The black sky outside was starting to dot itself full of stars, just about visible despite Suga’s desk lamp illuminating the room. Suga moved to look at him at the question, fingers hesitating before continuing their patterns. 

“About school?” Or your parents, and the fact that you’re here?

“Yeah. The team, too. They’ve probably all figured it out by now.”

Suga looked like the thought hadn’t really occurred to him yet, that they might have to do some damage control at practice tomorrow. There wasn’t any way to tell how the first and second years would react, no matter how much they wanted to believe it wouldn’t go over badly. 

“Do you want to tell them? That we’re, you know… together?”

Felt kind of childish to hear it phrased that way, but in a sweet way. Daichi found the beginnings of a smile tugging at his lips, despite the seriousness of the question. 

“If you’re okay with it. And only if you’re okay with it.” 

Suga’s hand stilled, and he came forward to kiss the top of Daichi’s head. “I am,” he mumbled into messy hair. “I’d love to show off that I got the esteemed Sawamura Daichi to date me.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, and he felt Suga smile too. 

“I’m the one who asked you out.”

“Details,” Suga replied, and then sat up a little straighter. The teasing smile on his face fell a little, and Daichi sat up. 

“I didn’t wanna ask yet, but… did your parents…?” …kick you out?

Daichi sighed, resisting the temptation to shut the question down. 

“Pretty much,” he started, trying to think of a good way to explain it. “I think if I hadn’t confirmed it, they would’ve left it alone. Suspected maybe, but would’ve kept on pretending. But I couldn’t tell them I felt nothing about you, not after everything. I just… I wanted to be honest about something. Tell the truth on my own terms.”

Suga nodded, eyes a little glass again, but his expression was full of understanding. “You shouldn’t have put yourself in danger,” he started, staring fixedly at their still entwined hands, “but I get it. I’m sorry no one gave us a choice.”

I’m sorry no one gave us a choice. 

Because that’s what all of it boiled down to, really, wasn’t it? Even if wasn’t what Suga had meant, no one had given them a choice in loving who they did or falling for each other. No one had let them pick when, or how they told the world. And distantly Daichi felt he should feel angry about it all, but really he was just sad. 

“I’m not even surprised, if I’m being honest,” he said, and Suga turned to look at him. “I think some part of me knew it would happen eventually. If not like this then when I told them, but the outcome would’ve been the same. I’ve always known what they thought about it, especially my dad.” A deep breath, and then, “I just wish I’d gotten to talk to my brothers first about it. Before they started hating it blindly.”

That was his only true regret. Not getting to tell his version before his parents shoved their own down his brother’s throats. 

Suga bit his lip, thinking. “I actually think you still have time.”

Chapter Text

They’d moved into their own beds about an hour ago. The lamp had long been turned off, the only light in the room coming from the half parted blinds, letting moonlight stream in through the gaps. 

Daichi was asleep, but Suga wasn’t. 

It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried. But his mind kept wandering back to the day they had ahead, and what they were supposed to do if… if things didn’t work out as nicely as he’d like to hope. 

Now, Suga was an optimist. There was no denying his worldview was sometimes a little too rosy, when it came to believing how terrible the world really was. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew the potentially terrible circumstances that tomorrow could bring. That yesterday had already brought. 

The bruise on Daichi’s face was easy to see from where he was lying. It was still a mix of angry purples and blues, with a little green and yellow on the edges. Whoever hit him must’ve really meant it, for it to look that bad. 

And hate it as he did, the thought scared him. Not nearly enough to stop him from wanting to give them all something right back, but still. People hated them. People had no problem showing how much they hated them. That wasn’t a thing he could change. And for all the strength and courage in the world, he didn’t think he would ever stop being at least a little afraid. 

No matter how much better things may get, someday.

Tired of sitting with his thoughts, Suga eased his way out of bed and slipped through the door, careful not to wake Daichi as he did. The corridor was even darker than his room, on account of the next closest window being in the kitchen, but a pale, flickering light was still pouring in from his mother’s half-open door, TV sounds just barely audible. 

She’s probably asleep, he thought. Might as well turn the TV off, save some energy. 

But as he pushed open her door a little further, he found she wasn’t, in fact, asleep. Close, maybe, but awake enough to notice him there. 

“Honey?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just… couldn’t sleep.” 

She paused the TV and moved over on the bed, a silent invitation for him to join her. He did, climbing under the duvet and settling against the headboard just like he used to when he was a kid. 

It was weird, how long it’d been since he’d done this. He used to tell his mother everything, from what book he was reading in school to the nightmares he got when he was little. They used to settle just like this, under the covers with the TV muted, and talk about things that probably didn’t even matter. She always had her tea, long empty by the time he picked himself up and went to his own room, and she used to tuck him in. Now, he can’t even remember the last time he was in here.

“Is Daichi asleep, then?” she asked. Suga nodded. 

“Yeah. Went down pretty quick, too.”

She smiled at that, reaching over to put the cat mug on the bedside table, before turning back to him. “Is he okay?”

The question was a heavy one. He’d told her the barest bones of what’d happened, glossing over the whys and getting straight to the point of, Can Daichi sleep here tonight? But now he supposed he kind of owed her some answers. 

“I think so. Better than he was, anyway.”

She hummed slightly in acknowledgment, before asking, “You boys got a chance to talk, then?”

“Yeah,” he said, because there was nothing else he could think to add. 

And fuck, when had he forgotten how to talk to his mum? Started keeping secrets, censoring what he said?  

“He’s a little shaken still, though.” 

She nodded in understanding, shifting to face him more head on. There was no doubt she knew something more than she was letting on, from the way she was looking at him. She always used to, back when he was small. But the expression was soft, and understanding, so he wasn’t really worried.

And then, “You really care about him, don’t you?”

He didn’t know how to feel about the question, because yeah. He did. So much, and he wanted nothing more than to share that with his mother. The person who’d raised him practically alone, when their world was really just the two of them. But there was no guarantee she meant it that way. There was no guarantee she’d ever be okay with it being meant that way.

But he also didn’t think his mother could ever hate him, not really. Not for being happy.

“Yeah, I do.” 

She reached out to him then, placing her hand on top of his. He kept his eyes on the duvet, because looking at her would probably make him cry. 

“Oh honey, it’s… it’s okay. These things can’t be helped,” she said. The hand on top of his squeezed gently, and he blinked away the tears burning in his eyes. “Does Daichi know?”

His eyes shot up at that, and she held his gaze steadily. There was no judgement there, awkward as it probably was for her to ask. 

“Yeah, he does. He’s, uh… he’s my boyfriend.”

He watched her face carefully, waiting for a bigger reaction. But she just looked mildly surprised, and maybe a little happy. 

“Are you okay with that?” he asked, just to make sure. Because he’d rather be absolutely sure now, instead of worrying later. 

“If you’re happy, love, I am too. Daichi’s a very nice boy.”

She reached up to neated out his hair at that, fingers threading through it to untangle the knots. It felt familiar, the gesture. The same thing she used to do to reassure him his nightmares weren’t real. 

“Are you going to want to tell your father? When he comes down here?”

He’d forgotten about that, actually, with everything going on. It was only a week or two away, right after the Spring Nationals Qualifiers. 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, because he didn’t. He barely knew his father, and what he thought about something like this. 

“He’ll take it well, if you do tell him,” his mother said, voice somewhat strained. “He has a lot of flaws, but he does love you. And things are different, in a city as big as Tokyo. People don’t care as much, there.”

He took that in quietly. Thought about the time he’s already lost with the man, and how little they really know about each other. 

Maybe I will tell him, if it comes up. 

The TV was unmuted again after a while, and they settled further into the pillows to watch whatever baking show was playing at this hour. Some part of him told him he should probably go to sleep, but he wanted to spend a little longer here. 

“Is that why those boys did that to his face, then?” she asked eventually, quietly. The TV volume was just low enough for him to hear her. 

“Yeah. One of them saw us and took a picture. It wasn’t very clear that it was me, so no one said anything. But they had to call his dad in.”

She pursed her lips at that, probably connecting the dots between that information and Daichi being here now. 

“I never liked that man, much.”

And that was all that needed to be said. Suga knew she was on his side. On both their sides. 

He woke up in his own room, having walked back not long after their conversation. The sun itself looked just barely awake, weakly peaking through the blinds and bathing his upper torso in light. 

And the spare futon next to the bed was empty, he realised. 

Still a little sleepy, he pushed his duvet away and climbed out of bed, heading out towards the kitchen. The smell of pancakes and toast met him as he turned the corner, and so did the sound of laughter. 

Daichi and his mother, because who else? And they were laughing. 

“Good morning,” his mother said, when she realised he was in the doorway. The smile didn’t fade from her face as she turned back towards the stove. 

“Morning,” he called back, but he was looking at Daichi. Daichi, who was staring at him with the most amused expression on his face, trying really hard not to laugh. “What?”

“You haven’t looked in a mirror yet, have you?”

Suga frowned, reaching up to comb his fingers through his hair, and sure enough, he was met with a tangled mess. 

“Get a brush, honey. It’ll take you years by hand.”

He pouted but complied, not entirely sure if he liked leaving his boyfriend and his mother in the same room for even longer. Especially when they seemed to be really getting along. 

But then, my boyfriend and my mother. They’re getting along. 

And really, he didn’t have time to be annoyed that they were teasing him. 

Breakfast was over too soon for his liking. Conversation had flowed easily, and both Daichi and his mother had taken great amusement in the fact that his blueberries simply would not stay on his fork. 

(Just stab it, Daichi had offered, after watching him struggle for a few minutes. His mother had only laughed harder, and Suga blushed at the fact that the thought hadn’t even occurred to him.)

There wasn’t much to pack, in terms of school stuff. Suga had thrown a newspaper at Daichi’s head when he’d tried to take all his stuff with him, getting as far as closing the gym bag before the rolled up paper collided with the back of his head. 

“Hey!” Daichi had said, rubbing the spot where it’d hit him. “What was that for?”

“To get you to stop packing, dumbass. Leave your stuff here. You’re coming back here tonight.”

And Daichi had been too shocked to respond to that, but he did leave his clothes neatly folded on the futon. 

Suga didn’t like that most of what Daichi owned could fit in a gym bag, but he didn’t comment on it. He knew a lot of things were hitting a lot harder now that it was morning, too, but he didn’t comment on that either. Let Daichi work through it on his own, and talk to him if he wanted. For now he probably needed a little space, and some semblance of normalcy. 

“Ready, boys?” His mother asked, poking her head through the door. 

Suga shoved the last of his gym kit into his bag and turned to her, wanting to do one last thing before they left. 

“Almost. We’ll be going soon, I promise!”

“You better,” she called out, already walking away. “Wait too long and you’ll be late.”

He let himself smile at her tone, before turning back to Daichi. 

“Aren’t we ready to go?”

Suga rolled his eyes and came closer, so close their torsos were almost touching and he had to look up a little to meet Daichi’s eyes. 

“You haven’t given me a good morning kiss yet.”

Daichi’s face broke out into a smile at that, and he only shot one quick look towards the door before he bent down and kissed him, hard. They kept it short, on account of Suga’s mother being right next door, but it felt good to do that. One last moment that was completely theirs, before they headed out towards school. 

“Ready to face the team?” Daichi whispered, their faces still too close. 

“Not really,” Suga answered, “But I think it’s time.”

Chapter Text

There didn’t seem to be anyone around, when they first got to school. They’d left early on purpose to get changed before the rest of the team arrived, but the campus itself looked almost completely deserted, which was rare at this time in the morning. 

It was peaceful, Daichi had to admit. Just him and Suga and the rapidly brightening sky, currently a mix of pale oranges and pinks. 

The feeling shattered when he noticed the clubroom door was unlocked. 

“Who could’ve got here this early?” he asked Suga, who only frowned. 

“Out of the guys who have a key? Ennoshita, maybe, but he usually turns up later. No way Tanaka got here yet, his and Noya’s bus doesn’t get here for another ten minutes.”

Secretly, he knew they were both wishing it’d turn out to be Asahi. A few more moments of peace, at least, before they had to go and explain themselves. 

Their prayers were answered, it seemed, or at least partly. When Suga pushed the door open it was, in fact, Asahi waiting in there, but Yui was also with him, pacing when they stepped inside. As soon as she saw them she rushed towards Daichi and put her arms around his neck, enveloping him in a hug. 

“I was so worried,” she said, practically into his shoulder. He hugged her back at that, enjoying the familiarity of having her arms around him. From the days where things were simpler. 

“I should’ve texted, I know. I’m sorry.”

She shushed him and squeezed one last time before letting him go, stepping back to take a better look at him. He wanted to turn his face away from her scrutiny but left it still, knowing she’d just turn it back herself if he did. After a few moments he could tell she was on the verge of tears but her gaze didn’t falter, continuing to inspect the damage done. 

“Yui?” he asked eventually, because her eyes were definitely wet. 

“I want to sew every last one of their dicks shut.” The statement was so boldly said, even as she dragged her sleeve over her eyes. Asahi choked a little, but recovered quickly. “I’m sorry it came out this way.”

Daichi glanced at Suga, who was supporting an expression somewhere between amusement and bitterness. The sentiment was appreciated, he supposed. 

“Yeah, we are too.”

“And sorry for forgetting to update you, last night. I know I promised I would,” Suga added sheepishly, and Yui waved the apology a way. 

“I took it as a good thing. I know you wouldn’t forget if there was bad news.”

They started getting changed after that, making mindless conversation – which was mostly just Yui and Suga talking about some new terrible show. It was funny, listening to them make fun of it, and took the pressure off of having him think of something to say. 

He appreciated it, even if it wasn’t on purpose. It hadn’t mattered as much until now but he felt self conscious of the mark on his face, and how the entire school probably knew exactly how he got it. A very visible mark that said, oh look, I’m gay. And got punched for it. 

The very thought of having to face people later made his stomach sink, but he pushed it out of his mind. He’d deal with one thing at a time or he’d never get through today. 

“Daichi?” 

He’d just finished tying his laces when he found Yui beside him, biting her lip. 

“Yeah?”

“Can we walk over to the gym together? I was hoping we could talk.”

He shot his boyfriend a glance, but Suga was pulling his shirt over his head and didn’t see it. So Daichi just nodded, and followed Yui out. 

It was pretty, the sky. It looked even nicer now that the sun had risen a little further. He could see more people milling around, now, walking to their clubs or else making their way to the library. He wondered what they thought of him, if they’d heard already. 

“Did they kick you out?” Yui asked quietly, not looking at him. He knew she just wanted to confirm her suspicions; she’d talked to Suga last night, after all. 

“Yeah, they did.”

He let her process that, continuing to look ahead. It was different admitting it to her. She’d grown up with his Ma and Dad too, knew more fully than anyone what they meant to him. 

“Did your brothers take it okay?”

No empty words, no assurances or pity. He thanked her, silently, for knowing him so well. 

“Not sure they really get it. Haruo definitely doesn’t. I said bye and he only barely looked up from his video game. Might be better like this, though. I don’t want him thinking too hard about this stuff.” She nodded, and he kept going. 

“And Yusei was… Yusei, I guess. He hugged me goodbye. Knew they were kicking me out, somehow. I told him it wasn’t Dad’s fault, and that it was my choice. Which it sort of was, but he’s not stupid. He’ll figure it out. So will Haruo, eventually, but I wish he didn’t have to. It’s nice watching them be kids, annoying as they can get sometimes.”

Yui smiled a little at that, an evil kind of smile he wasn’t sure he liked. “They told my parents that one brunch we had with my family that they saw you naked in my bed, and my dad wouldn’t let me come over for a week.”

God, he remembered. Worst week of his life, having his and Yui’s parents convinced that they were together in secret. Right after he’d realised he might just have a crush on his upperclassman, who was neither his childhood best friend or a girl. 

“Please don’t remind me,” he groaned. “Don’t think they even knew what that implied. They just thought it was funny, being naked, and even funnier if it was me in your bed.”

Yui laughed, stopping to push the gym doors open and turn on the lights. “My parents asked if I was pregnant, that night.”

Daichi turned fully towards her at that, utterly mortified. This was definitely the first he was hearing of this. “Fuck, really?”

“Yep. My mum was actually a little excited after she was done crying. Which was a little weird, we were like… fifteen? But it’s become a good joke now.”

Knowing Yui’s parents, they probably frequently retold the story at dinner parties. 

“I bet,” he said, moving to get the nets out. “It’ll be even funnier once they realise I was never even into girls.” 

Yui snickered a little at that, and helped him with the cupboard doors. Maybe today would go alright after all, if this is what the people who really cared about him were like. 

They seemed to lapse into this comfortable silence as they worked to set up. He caught Yui looking at him several times but she never said anything, so he let it drop. She probably had her own feelings about all this, and he wasn’t going to pry. 

Eventually though, she finally asked, “Are you okay, Daichi?”

He glanced at her, huffing out a laugh before turning to the scattered balls someone had left out of the ball bin. 

“Yeah. I mean, nothing’s amazing right now, but this was all kind of expected.”

Yui raised an eyebrow. “So you’re really, actually okay?”

He shouldn’t have underestimated her ability to see right through him. Because he could tell her eyes were screaming at him, I know you’re not okay, you idiot. I know you’re not even close to okay. I just want to see if you’ll admit for once, instead of shrugging it off and dealing with it by yourself. 

And really, he didn’t want to deal with this by himself. 

“I’m… no. Not really.”

A single nod. Yeah, I know. She took the ball from him, throwing it with the others before pulling him in. 

“And that’s okay. No one needs you to be put together right now.”

He laughs despite everything, burying his face a little further into his neck. “I’m just… scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, or what I’m going to do. School will probably be hell for a while, and Suga’s mom said I could stay as long as I needed but I’m gonna need to find a more permanent solution eventually, and it’s just… a lot, you know? It’s too much and way too fast.”

She squeezed him a little tighter at that, before letting him go so she could face him fully. 

“I know. But whatever you need, you know I’ll be here. And Suga will too, you have to know by now he’s completely and hopelessly in love with you.” She smirked, and he rolled his eyes despite the blush. “You’re not alone, Daichi. You don’t have to have it all figured out.”

And yeah, maybe he didn’t. 

Meanwhile, Suga was still in the clubroom, just finishing pulling on his kit before he followed Daichi and Michimiya to the gym. He didn’t say anything about them going, knowing they probably had things to talk over, and that Daichi would have things he wanted to talk about to someone who wasn’t his boyfriend. He was fine with it, knowing Daichi wasn’t really as okay as he looked and that Michimiya could help better than he could. But he still wished there was something more he could do, to make things better. 

“Are you guys worried? About how the team will take it?” Asahi asked, just as he was putting his school shirt away. Suga turned to him, surprised at the question, but Asahi looked unbothered by it. 

“Yeah,” Suga answered quietly, turning back to his bag. “I want to believe they’ll be cool with it, but I know there’s the possibility they won’t be. I don’t want those kids to hate us, okay? Or be scared that we’ll take a peak or something when we’re all changing after a game. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t know what to do, if they were genuinely concerned for their own safety.”

Asahi hummed, eyes soft. “I think they might take it better than you think.”

Suga gave him a tight smile. Because he appreciated the sentiment, he did. But, “You don’t know that,” he said, and put the very last of his stuff away. 

Twenty minutes later and he and Daichi and Asahi were the only ones in the gym, Michimiya long gone to coordinate her own team practice and the rest of the volleyball club about to walk in at any moment. Asahi had confirmed they’d all been up there in the clubroom, far more mild mannered than usual but still just lively enough for it to not be suspicious, and now they just had to wait. 

Kiyoko was the first to walk in, Yachi not that far behind. 

And Suga could tell the exact moment they both saw it, the state of Daichi’s face. Kiyoko froze, stood there staring as she glanced between the bruise and Suga, and Yachi gasped and dropped her notes. 

Kiyoko unfroze after that, helping her to pick them up. 

“They noticed, then?” Daichi mumbled to him, turned pointedly away from the door. Suga nodded, and Daichi sighed. 

Even if Yachi couldn’t have guessed what had happened, Kiyoko probably could. She’d definitely received the photo sometime last night, and it wouldn’t have taken a genius to put two and two together. 

But she didn’t bring it up, so they said nothing. They’d agreed already they wanted to do this with everyone present, to get it over with as quickly as possible. 

Tanaka and Noya were next, with Hinata and Kageyama running in not too far behind. All four of them noticed at the same moment, their reactions all varying from shock to concern to horror. Hinata was the first to open his mouth though, because of course he was, as he exclaimed, “Daichi-san! Your face! It’s all bruised!”

Suga had to resist the temptation to say something sarcastic at that. The kid didn’t deserve it.

But apparently Tanaka disagreed, because he immediately elbowed the redhead in the ribs and muttered, “Yeah, no shit. Have a little respect.”

Hinata immediately paled and bowed, mumbling out apologies, but Suga waved them away. “It’s fine, Hinata. Daichi and I would like to talk to the team once you’re all here though. It’s important.”

It didn’t take long, after that, for the rest of their underclassmen to show up. Tsukishima didn’t falter, but Yamaguchi looked visibly panicked. Ennoshita had frowned questioningly, but let it go after Suga shook his head. Finally, after all of them had gathered in a sort of semicircle around them, Daichi turned to face them all fully and they quietened, sensing this was about to get serious. 

“As some of you might already have heard, yesterday there was a, uh… picture. Sent around of me, from some boys in my year, to several other people around school. I don’t know how far it’s gotten yet, but…” Daichi glanced at him then, looking for reassurance, and Suga nodded. Tried to be as encouraging as he could. “I wanted you guys to hear it from me first, before the rumours spread to your years. I’m-”

A deep breath, and he lifted his head a little higher. Ukai had slipped in at some point, but Suga wasn’t sure Daichi had noticed. 

“I’m gay. I like guys, I have a boyfriend, and someone sent around a picture of me kissing him. Some people didn’t like it, and that’s what happened to my face.”

Some audible gasps at that, but it was all still too fresh for anyone to say anything. Daichi kept going. 

“I’d like to hope none of you guys have a problem with it, but I know it’s not that simple. If you do, I’d rather you make it known. I can, uh… I can answer questions, if you have them. But then we’re getting back to practice.”

No one said anything for too long. Suga was holding his breath, waiting for a reaction, and he knew Daichi was even more nervous than he was. 

He thought he saw Ukai cross his arms, somewhere in his peripheral vision, but he didn’t want to look. 

Is this about to go worse than we thought? Will Ukai, of all people, take issue with it?

Hinata was the first to say something, after smiling brightly at Kageyama. “That’s cool, Daichi-san. Thank you for telling us!” he said, eyes darting to meet Kageyama’s to check… something. When Kageyama only nodded slightly, giving him the briefest of smiles before letting his eyes fall, Hinata only smiled wider. 

From there, almost everyone else seemed to snap out of their shock. 

“Yeah!” Tanaka shouted, and Noya nodded vehemently. “And we’ll beat up anyone who thinks otherwise!”

Suga frowned, appreciating the sentiment but knowing full well they were serious. He opened his mouth, and seemingly in unison, he and Daichi both said, “ No.”

Not that it deterred them, of course. Everyone was talking amongst themselves now, some (Tanaka, Noya, Hinata) much louder than the others. Suga settled back and just watched, stepping closer to Daichi to bump his shoulder teasingly, and his boyfriend sent him back a smile. It hadn’t gone terribly, after all, even if the majority of the team just looked awkward, now. 

“Alright,” Ukai called out, clapping his hands and immediately getting everyone’s attention. He looked serious, more serious than Suga had ever seen him, and really this could go either way. “We still have practice to get done today, so I’ll be quick. But if I hear about someone on this team being a bigot, we’re going to have some problems. Anyone with an opinion can keep it to themselves.”

He glared at them all then, eyes softening when they reached him and Daichi, and he shot the coach a grateful look. So far it seemed the teachers were less on their side and more against all of this becoming a distraction (or more paperwork), so hearing that from an adult who wouldn’t lose much if someone decided to be a dick meant a lot. 

No one argued with him. They were all sent off to start practice, Daichi in charge of the warmup exercises, and though everyone was a little quieter to begin with, the team eventually settled back into its normal rhythm. 

Glad that’s out of the way, Suga thought, preparing to set for Asahi and Tanaka. As long as Ukai was glaring at them all, he was sure no one would say anything terrible. He was beginning to believe none of them even had terrible things to say. 

As practice came to a close, and the rest of the team had already started gathering up their things to head to the clubroom, Hinata finally approached Daichi with a question they’d been expecting from the start. 

“Who’s your boyfriend, Daichi-san? Will we be allowed to meet him?”

Most people seemed to pause at that, clearly interested in an answer. 

“Well, you’ve met me already, haven’t you?” Suga called out, and Daichi beamed at him. The most genuine smile he’d seen in the last day or two, and he couldn’t help but smile back too. 

Ukai laughed from where he’d been finishing his notes up, and shot him a look that he could only interpret as a congratulations. 

Yeah, he didn’t think anything too bad could happen after this. 

Chapter Text

“Daichi, hang back for a second.”

Asahi, Suga and Daichi were the last ones in the gym, having stayed behind to finish cleaning up. Daichi frowned, knowing there was only about ten minutes before the bell went and he had to get changed, but he complied anyway. 

Suga waved him goodbye and hurried out with Asahi, leaving him alone with the coach. 

“That…couldn’t have been easy, kid,” Ukai said, less gruffly than normal. Daichi relaxed a little. “I meant it when I said we’d have some problems, if anyone gives you boys shit for it.”

“Thanks,” he said, and he meant it. Even if he also didn’t know what else to offer. 

“And, uh…” Ukai’s demeanour changed a little, growing awkward and unsure. “I hate to have to ask you this, but I’ve got to. For your safety and all that. Did… Is everything okay, at home?”

Daichi had not been expecting that question. 

Yes? No? What am I even supposed to say to that? Yeah, hi, my parents kicked me out and now I’m effectively homeless…?

Ukai seemed to sense the answer wasn’t yes. 

“It’s fine, I won’t pry. But I do need you to know you can tell me, if you aren’t safe there, and that Specs knows what to do in these situations. He can set something up, if you wanted to talk to him.”

Daichi nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. He would probably have to talk to Mr. Takeda soon, find out what his options were at the moment. Being almost eighteen probably ruled out the majority of the child protective policies in place for these situations, and he wasn’t even sure there was anything anyone could do for him right now. 

Still, Mr. Takeda probably knew more than he did. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” we went with, not bothering to voice any other of his concerns at that moment. Ukai’s job was to get the team ready for the Spring Nationals coming up in about two week’s time, not deal with this. 

Ukai gave him what was probably a fair attempt at a reassuring smile and let him go. 

The next couple of days didn’t actually go too badly, all in all. People in class still seemed to avoid getting too close to him, and snickering had become such a consistent background noise that it felt odd to not hear it, but it’s not like anyone got in their faces about it. 

There was an expected amount of locker defamation and rather graphic inscriptions on the bathroom walls, but he learnt to ignore that too. It even started to be funny, when someone (who Suga kept insisting was Tanaka from the handwriting, but Daichi wasn’t too sure) started answering those messages back, with a variety of puns and equally vulgar language calling them out. He’d never condone it if he actually saw the boy do it, of course, because it was still technically vandalism and he was supposed to be a good influence, but if he let himself smile at it when no one was looking, what of it? They had to find positives where they could. 

He talked to Mr. Takeda yesterday, about what he could do and where he could go. Explaining the situation hadn’t been easy but the teacher had been supportive, knowing when to ask further and when to let the subject rest. Daichi appreciated him taking the time to explain it all, if only to make him feel like his life wasn’t completely up in the air. 

He ended up leaving that conversation a little lighter, and with an appointment with a social worker for the following week. 

Still, there were still some less than perfect moments. Someone had decided it’d be hilarious to put the original picture up in all the third year classrooms, various different words scrawled across it. The teachers had taken them all down by second period, and the principal had come in to talk to all of them about spreading pornographic images on school grounds, but the effect was the same. At least a dozen people had pretended to make out with themselves in his direction before lunch was even over. 

“ Pornographic images,” Suga mumbled, stabbing his lunch unnecessarily hard. “Has he seen what people do between classes? I’m pretty sure someone got pregnant in a janitor’s closet last year. That picture isn’t even close to porn.”

Daichi was inclined to agree, but didn’t really see the point in getting angry about it. This was just the way the world worked, right? They didn’t have to accept it, but he didn’t see the point in acting surprised, either.

“Angel,” he said, bumping against Suga’s shoulder gently to get his attention. “You’re going to kill your food, at this rate.”

Suga pouted, before eyeing Daichi’s lips longingly. They’d agreed not to give anyone more reason to give them shit, at least until things calmed down, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to kiss his boyfriend. It was getting frustrating, being technically out without being allowed to really do anything, but he did respect the reasons why they shouldn’t. And more importantly, Daichi’s feelings about it.

He turned back to his food and started eating, and much to his surprise, Daichi pressed a kiss into his shoulder.

“It’ll settle down,” he promised softly. “Eventually we’ll become old news and they’ll get bored.”

Suga nodded, smiling a little. He didn’t even care as much, as long as Daichi was happy.

No one on the team had much to say to them those next two days, but it was clear it wasn’t the same, ever since the admission. Narita and Kinoshita had taken to getting changed before arriving at practice, and though neither voiced anything unpleasant there was visible discomfort in their postures whenever he or Daichi addressed them. Yamahuchi, too, seemed to shrink into himself whenever they came too close, but at least he was still polite as ever. Even if it felt a little forced.

And maybe it hurt to know their underclassmen had lost some respect for them, but it wasn’t all bad. Hinata was bubbly as ever, and arguing with Kageyama even less than normal (a pleasant change, honestly), but that could just because the first-year setter had been suspiciously quiet since, always hovering around Suga whenever he wasn’t doing something. Tanaka and Noya, bless them, continued to be supportive whenever they found the opportunity, and had thankfully found the tact to stop yelling. But when a tiny little pride flag sticker was found stuck to the clubroom wall, no one had any doubts who had put it there.

Tsukishima and Ennoshita were the only two who Suga really couldn't pin down. The former didn’t seem to be acting any different to them, specifically, but he too had grown quieter in the days following, keeping the salt to a minimum and missing several perfect opportunities to take a sarcastic jab at Kageyama, which was strange. Suga would’ve counted it as a change for the better if he hadn’t also clearly been distancing himself from Yamaguchi. As for Ennoshita… there was no way to tell what he thought about it all, and it was clear it bothered Daichi a little. Still, when Suga brought it up that night he’d dismissed the topic, so he stopped trying to guess.

The weeks passed just like that. They went to practice, sat through classes, and went home again, where Suga’s mum was always there with a warm meal and a question about their days. Saturdays were often spent out at the little park, sucking on ice lollies and trying to revise for the exams they would have to take at the end of the year. Sometimes in the evenings they’d go back to Asahi’s, or else his uncles’ restaurant to celebrate winning yet another game in the Interhigh Tournament, and those hours out were always the best part of their day. Because there was no censoring themselves, or being mindful not to make anyone uncomfortable.

They could just be, and it was all fine.

The social worker Mr. Takeda recommended Daichi talk to was very sweet, and talked him through what he’d need to do to get help in renting an apartment. She said something about financial aid, too, and his options for colleges and all, but in the end Daichi was just glad she’d given him a brochure, because he’d only really half understood.

Life was still messy. He wouldn’t pretend that it wasn’t hard, still, ignoring the taunts and the whispered slurs and the drawings that kept appearing on his desk. But he had Suga, and his friends, and the refuge of late nights out. Moments where he was still 17, and he could be happy, and silly, and free. 

“My mum texted, last night.”

Suga looked up at him then, sitting a little straighter as his eyes widened in surprise. Daichi didn’t shift from his position on the playground roof, stretched out with his arms behind his head. 

“You didn’t say anything.”

Daichi ignored the unspoken question, why didn’t you mention it, and continued. “She wanted to know how I was. If school was okay, and all that.”

He sounded bitter. He knew he sounded bitter, and it was making frown lines form on Suga’s forehead, but he wouldn’t know what else to feel about it. 

“You don’t owe her anything,” Suga offered quietly. “This is the first you’ve heard from her since you left.”

And yeah, the reminder stung. Made anger course through him momentarily, but really the feelings all boiled down to hurt. He’d been waiting for a call for weeks, now. Anything to prove they cared about where he was. 

“It’s been a month,” Daichi said. “I feel like I should be grateful for it, but I’m not. I’m just mad. And I know some people wait for this their whole lives and their parents still don’t want anything to do with them, but…”

“You have the right to be mad.”

Daichi turned his head then, pursing his lips in a half-smile that Suga could only interpret as gratitude, before letting his gaze fall back to the horizon. 

“I don’t know,” he said eventually, sighing. “Dad still refuses to acknowledge me, she said as much. Maybe I should let her say what she wants to say.”

When Suga stayed quiet, Dachi lifted his eyes to look at him again. 

“Sorry. Just thinking out loud.”

His boyfriend rolled his eyes, waving the apology away, before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Do whatever will make you feel good, love. You don’t have to be ready to see her.”

Daichi breathed a little easier hearing those words, because yeah, he wasn’t sure he was just yet. He was sure he’d like to talk to her eventually, but… not until he’d built up some stability everywhere else in his life. 

“She did say my brothers had been asking about me, though. I’d like to see them, at least.”

Suga nodded, hand moving up to play with Daichi’s hair. 

“They’d probably be happy to see you too.”

Chapter Text

Daichi texted his mother back that morning, after a long night of lying awake and staring at the ceiling. Told her a little about his plans for college, and the apartment he’d hopefully be able to move into by the end of the month. 

She hadn’t messaged him back since, but he didn’t let himself overthink it. 

Asahi’s uncles had offered him a job at the restaurant, some hours after school and Saturday mornings, and he’d accepted gratefully. They were both lovely people, even if they did seem a little opposite, but by his third day he’d already gotten used to the dynamic. 

Practice was still going well, too. Ukai was working them hard to prepare for the upcoming games, ones that would decide their place in the Inter High and determine whether they would head to nationals. There was a buzz in the air, a certain nervous excitement that filled them all with adrenaline and didn’t disappear by the end of practice, sometimes to the point that Ukai had to remind them all they still needed to rest. 

Go home, Hinata, was becoming the most common thing to hear as they walked past the gym. 

“Alright, I think that’s all. Rest up tonight, I expect to see you bright and early for the game tomorrow!” Ukai shouted, and everyone started moving to get up. Chatter erupted between the team, everyone both excited and a little anxious for the match they had tomorrow, and everyone began gathering their things and heading back to the clubroom. 

Suga didn’t miss that Tsukishima had barely paid attention to Ukai’s final pep talk, and was now hanging back under the pretence of putting something away. 

“I… think I’m going to stick around for a while,” Suga said to Daichi, glancing pointedly back at Tsukishima. “You can go ahead, I’ll see you back home.”

Daichi didn’t object, simply nodding, before pausing. He hesitated, coming forward until he was just barely an inch from Suga’s face, and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 

“See you,” he said with a tiny smile, before disappearing off through the door with Asahi. 

Suga watched him go, making a mental note to buy more dish soap before he got home because they were very nearly out and Daichi would probably only think to do that after they run out, before turning to grab his own things. 

And then, oh my god, Daichi just kissed me very much in public. 

Suga had to very carefully tone his expression down from a shit-eating grin to a normal, non-psychotic smile, but he swore he could see Ukai mirror the tiny grin as he headed out.

Tsukishima was still messing with the cupboard lock when Suga approached him, the gym now empty. His shoulders were tense, posture stiff and mind somewhere far away, hands absently turning the key back and forth. 

Suga’s smile immediately faded. 

“Tsukishima?” he said, probably startling the first year. “It’s late, you know. Everyone else is already up in the clubroom getting ready to leave.”

The boy said nothing, letting the lock drop and adjusting his stance beside his senpai. He pressed his glasses further up his nose, eyes refusing to rise from whatever spot on the floor he was staring at. 

“Are you alright?”

Stupid question, Suga knew. They were both aware Tsukishima was not. But he didn’t seem keen to offer up anything on his own, so Suga figured this was a decent enough start. 

Tsukishima said nothing to that either, opting simply to nod. And then his eyes rose, meeting Suga’s tentatively and he shook his head. 

“I… I don’t know what to do.”

He sounded close to tears. Which was way more than Suga ever expected to see from the first-year: a kid so poised, always hiding behind salt and sarcasm, looking so scared. He was tempted to bring him in for a hug, and if it were Hinata or Kageyama or Noya he probably would, but he figured Tsukishima would appreciate that less. 

So instead he motioned for him to follow and led him to the benches across the gym, sitting down and tapping the space beside him for Tsukishima to do the same. 

He hesitated, but ultimately sat down too. 

“Is this about why you’ve been avoiding Yamaguchi?”

The first-year paled, mouth tightening into a thin line before he nodded. He was pretty clearly holding something back, debating whether or not to say it, and Suga waited patiently for him to decide. 

“I don’t want to be invasive.”

Invasive. 

He’d forgotten some people were decent enough to care about things like that, after the few weeks he and Daichi had had. And seeing as he very much doubted Tsukishima would ask something terribly inappropriate, he offered, “It’s okay, you know. You can ask.” 

He took his time nonetheless, mulling it over. “How do you choose between standing up for yourself and what you believe in and your closest friends?”

And yeah, the question hit Suga like a truck. 

He could piece enough together, now, to guess what had happened after he and Daichi had come out. Between standing up for yourself…

Did that mean what he thought it did?

Tsukishima’s eyes had called back to his lap where his hands were resting, fingers clearly itching to move. 

“You want an honest answer here?” Suga said, trying to think back to what he would’ve wanted to hear. “I haven’t figured it out either. Because I’ve had to defend myself a lot, these past few weeks, and so has Daichi. We’ve had to justify everything we are and everything we’ve decided to do, to someone at some point. And sometimes I do wonder if it was worth losing some friends over, you know? But I decided it was worth it, so here I am.”

Tsukishima nodded slowly, still avoiding his eyes. 

“But you might find something different. Decide it’s not worth it, not yet. And that’s okay too. You don’t owe anyone anything.”

The first-year’s shoulders sagged, at that. He looked positively relieved, and Suga couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been thinking he was obliged to do. 

“I didn’t like something Tadashi said,” he eventually offered quietly. “It wasn’t anything terrible, but I called him out on it. He tried to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal.” 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding him?”

He paused, considering. “I don’t know how to face him, knowing it’s what he thinks of me.”

Tsukishima looked extremely alarmed at the admission, but Suga just nodded. He understood exactly how that felt. 

All those times I had to sit through and pretend to laugh at homophobic taunts, at uneducated jokes and slurs thrown around like they were nothing. All those times people said things without knowing who they were saying it to, what they were truly doing. 

“I say talk to him,” Suga said eventually, after a long silence. “You two are close, right? If he’s truly your friend he’ll try and understand. Has to be better than dodging him. And if it doesn’t go very well, you’ll know. You can decide what you do then.”

He didn’t want to see the friendship broken. 

Those two were so close, even with their interesting dynamic. They cared about each other. Watching it crumble over intolerance would be heartbreaking, but… watching it fade out of fear would be so much worse. 

“And you don’t have to come out to him, necessarily. That will always be your choice and yours alone. But a conversation about what he said might be good for both of you, I think.”

The first-year nodded. 

“Thank you, Sugawara-san.”

And Suga left after that. Kept an eye on them both, and it seemed to him that they’d talked it out. Looked even closer than before, if he was being honest, and the thought made him smile. 

He and Kageyama, too, somehow ended up being less hostile towards each other than before. Like they’d reached some begrudging level of respect for one another overnight. 

It was a pleasant change, really. Suga just hoped it lasted. 

“Ennoshita apologised to me today,” Daichi said out of nowhere, as they sat on his floor eating takeout. Very first day in the apartment, and it was still a little bare. “Surprised me.”

Suga raised a single eyebrow. “What for?”

“For how he’d been acting after we came out. Said he wished us both all the best, and that his respect for me hadn’t changed. Still wanted to be as good a captain as I am, next year.”

Suga beamed at Daichi’s expression. His boyfriend had most definitely teared up about this at some point today. 

“That was really sweet of him.”

Daichi offered a smiled back. “Yeah, it was.”

For a while the only sound came from their chopsticks fishing around the bottom of almost empty takeout boxes, both of them deep in thought. 

And then Daichi said, “Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky we are.”

Lucky. 

Suga supposed that yeah, they were. To have each other, but also that things turned out the way they did. Not perfect, never perfect, but potentially so much worse. 

“Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am,” Suga said, balancing the box between his knees so his free hand could reach out to Daichi. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to go through all this shit with.”

Daichi laughed, harder than Suga had really expected him too, to the point he could help but laugh a little too. 

“Yeah, if I ever fall into hell for real, I’ll make sure to get you to fall with me. It’d make everything so much less terrible.”

Suga elbowed him slightly for the joke, but ultimately didn’t complain. “I’ll take the compliment, I guess.”

He would’ve seen the face Daichi pulled at that, but he was too focused on pouting at the lack of spicy tofu in his box. 

“You eat too fast,” was all Daichi had to say to that, with the smallest hint of smile on his face.

Chapter Text

“Daichi!”

It was Haruo who shouted it, a wide grin spreading across his face as he ran down the street to hug him. His school bag was dropped by Yusei’s feet, his twin too stunned to move at all, and Daichi had to take a step back to balance himself when Haruo jumped into his arms. 

“We missed you,” he whispered quietly into Daichi’s shoulder. Daichi chuckled a little, and hugged him back tighter. 

“I missed you too.”

Yusei seemed to have come to his senses, jogging to catch up with both his own and Haruo’s bags slung over his shoulder, and promptly threw them down again to hug his older brother properly. 

“Ma said we wouldn’t be able to see you for a while,” he said, once Daichi had let him go. He looked… different, somehow. 

His mother had called him this morning, saying that if he wanted to take his brothers out after school and surprise them, that they’d be happy to see him. There’d been an edge there, something she wasn’t telling him but he let it go anyway, just glad for the opportunity to see them. 

Now he found himself wondering what it was. 

“I’ve been busy with school and college applications. I even got my own apartment, now. But I’m here, and I have all afternoon to spend with the both of you.” Haruo beamed, hugging him again, and Yusei’s smile was smaller but just as gleeful as he stood back and watched. “Why don’t you go on in and put your school stuff away, and I’ll wait out here for you guys?”

Fifteen minutes later and they were walking through familiar streets, the twins walking on either side of Daichi, and it felt more normal than anything Daichi had gotten to experience in a while.

“Where are we going?” Haruo asked, as conversation lulled. They crossed the road, the twins having to jog a little to catch up to his long strides, and when they reached the other side, Daichi finally answered.

“There’s a park, not that far from here. But I thought you guys might want ice cream first?”

They did, so the three of them stopped at a convenience store on the way and got ice lollies. Cherry for Yusei, orange for Haruo, and lemon for Daichi. The lollies were long finished by the time they reached the park, the only evidence of them being the tinge of purple and orange on their tongues.

It was good, being able to do this. He didn’t think he’d missed the dinosaur trivia and the rambling and the unnecessary commentary on everything that came with being around his brothers, but he had. A lot. 

He should’ve expected the conversation to veer towards him eventually. 

“So, uh… why’s Dad so mad at you?” 

Daichi glanced down at Haruo, and then at Yusei, not entirely sure what to say. 

“He’s been calling you names,” Haruo continued, face falling seriously. “Said you were a dirty maggot.”

“That’s not what he said,” Yusei said quietly, but didn’t offer anything else. 

Daichi opened the gate to the park if only to have something to do with his hands, and let the twins walk in first before closing it behind him. How was he supposed to explain this? How was he supposed to tell them that yeah, he was exactly like those people their father pointed out and sneered at, and have them understand?

After everything they’d heard, everything they’d been told?

(He just hoped it wasn’t too late, for them to change their minds about it. That their opinions wouldn’t be set in stone just yet, that they wouldn’t mind it.)

“Well…” he started at last, trying to gather his thoughts. His hands felt sweaty and jittery, so he shoved them in his pocket. “You guys remember my girlfriend, right?”

Yusei’s face immediately darkened, while Haruo’s lit up. 

“The really pretty one you wouldn’t let us meet?” he asked, but then he saw his brother’s face and frowned. “Did something happen with her?”

“Him, actually. I, uh… I never had a girlfriend. It was a boyfriend.”

He tried to stand up taller, at that. Tried to put his captain face on and look like it was a bad idea to be challenged. But he knew it wasn’t very convincing in the first place, and his resolve was slipping with every second of silence that passed. 

“I thought only girls got boyfriends,” Haruo said eventually, slowly. Yusei glared at him, and he just looked more confused. “What?”

“Sometimes, boys get boyfriends too. Just like sometimes, girls get girlfriends,” Daichi said quickly, before either of them could interject. “And a lot of people don’t like that, but there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Haruo looked at Yusei for some sort of help, but got nothing. So he turned back to Daichi instead. 

“So you… have a boyfriend?”

“I do.”

Haruo’s frown deepened, but he said nothing. Yusei had long since directed his glaring at the floor. 

“Yusei? Do you have any… anything you want to say? To ask?”

Yusei shrugged. “I don’t care. About you having a boyfriend. As long as he’s nice,” he added, almost as an afterthought, and Daichi couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“So wait,” Haruo started again, “you’re a boy who likes boys?”

Daichi tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, but before he could really remind himself that he’d been expecting at least something like this, really, his brother spoke up. 

“Yeah, cotton brain, keep up,” Yusei mumbled. “Honestly, it’s not that hard.”

“But… which one of you gets the flowers, if you’re both boys?” Daichi stared, not sure where to start with that. “Like, on dates. You guys go on dates, right?”

“We do,” he said. “And we both do, I guess? We both like flowers.”

“That’s gross,” Yusei said, making a face. And then he seemed to catch himself. “The uh, romance stuff. You’re so… hopeless.”

Daichi laughed at that, because how could he not?

“Romance isn’t gross!” Haruo interjected, indignant. “It’s… it’s chivalrous.”

Yusei looked unimpressed. “You don’t even know what that means. Stop using words you don’t know.”

They continued to bicker, but Daichi didn’t see a point in telling them to cut it out just yet. He just wanted a moment to breathe, knowing that nothing was really lost after all. 

They don’t hate you, he kept telling himself, and slowly the knot in his chest went away. It’s okay, they don’t seem to care. 

“So,” Yusei huffed after a while, turning away from Haruo’s smug look. “Are we gonna get to meet him?”

Haruo perked up at that too, smugness gone. “Can we please? I want to know if he’s pretty.”

Daichi would never admit to anyone, least of all to Suga, that his first impulse was to answer that question with, yeah, he’s really pretty.

“You’ve actually already met him. You remember Suga, right?”

Haruo was saying something about how yes, he supposed Sugawara-san was pretty, when Yusei interrupted him with the worst possible question: “Do Ma and Dad know? Is that why Dad kicked you out?”

He was right back to looking angry again, and Haruo was frowning. 

“They kicked you out for dating Suga?”

Daichi didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything to say, not without lying. Yusei took it as answer enough. 

“No, they kicked him out because he’s gay and they’re bigoted assholes.”

“Yusei!” Daichi said lowly, his captain voice taking over. “Where did you learn words like that?”

Yusei kicked the ground, hard enough for a pebble to skid a good few meters ahead of them, and sighed. “We’re not little kids anymore, Daichi.” And yeah, he supposed they really weren’t. “I hear them, even when they think I don’t. That’s what that word he keeps calling you means, right? He’s talking about you having a boyfriend.”

Daichi sighed. “He’s wrong, yeah, and he has some really bad opinions, but you shouldn’t disrespect him like that. Or Ma. Remember you still live under their roof.”

“But you don’t,” Haruo said quietly. 

And fuck. 

Yeah, he didn’t. 

He had every right to be angry at them and hate them and want nothing to do with them. He thought some part of him definitely did, and wouldn’t mind never seeing either of them again. 

But a bigger part still said, but they’re your parents, and he didn’t know what to do with the feeling. 

“Look,” he said, trying to end this particular direction of conversation. “Ma and Dad and I will probably have a complicated relationship for a while. They don’t like who I am and I’m done trying to change for them, you know? But I don’t want you to hate them on my behalf. It’s between me and them, this.”

Yusei looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead he grabbed Haruo by the wrist and dragged him over to the swings, no doubt to talk to him about it all. 

Daichi took the opportunity to get his phone out, unsurprised to see a message from Suga. 

how’d it go with ur brothers?

pretty good, he typed out. i mean, they don’t hate me. 

Suga would no doubt tell him later that there was no reason for them to have hated him, and he was prepared for it, but right now this was a huge win. One step at a time and all that. 

They’d ended up getting meat buns on the way home, getting into an intense discussion about who’d win in a fight, an army of cyborg T-rexs or an imperial star destroyer, and while Daichi was almost certain it would be the latter Haruo was quite insistent on arguing against it. When they finally got to the house the sky was long dark, warm autumn breeze a pleasant break from the stifling feel of summer, and both the twins gave him another hug before walking through the door that Ma was holding open. 

That just left him, standing in front of the house, and his mother staring from the door. 

“Why don’t you stay a while?” she blurted eventually, and he didn’t know what to say to that. “Your father’s not home right now.”

He nodded, not trusting himself to say anything, and walked in for the first time in weeks. 

It wasn’t that different, not really. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected some big change, but there was none. Their family pictures were all still up, Haruo’s shoes were still all over the place as usual. It looked a little colder than he remembered, but he figured that was mostly the fact that he’d stopped thinking of it as home a while ago. 

His mother led him to the kitchen, putting the kettle on before leaning back against the counter, but he opted to staying by the door. 

“Thank you for taking your brothers out,” she said, attempting a smile. “They’d missed you.”

“I’d missed them too.”

Silence stretched between them, Daichi in no hurry to break it. His mother cleared her throat awkwardly and did it instead.

“I know we haven’t… spoken much, since you moved out,” she started carefully, hands shifting their hold on the kitchen counter. 

Daichi frowned. “I didn’t move out , Ma. Dad kicked me out.”

Her gaze fell at that, locking on the floor. “Yes, well… since that happened, nothing’s been the same. Yusei in particular has been acting out, talking back, raising his voice. All things he didn’t used to do.”

She sounded… sad. Regretful, maybe, even. 

“The school called me yesterday, said they’re worried about his behaviour.”

That set alarm bells off in Daichi’s head. “Did he do something?”

“No, no. Just small stuff, his teachers have noticed the change. He didn’t say anything to you, today? I can’t get him to talk to me.”

There were a lot of things he felt in that moment, that he wanted to say. About the last month and a half, about seventeen years of happy memories flushed down the toilet, and the nerve she had to talk to him as if he was still a part of all this. As if it wasn’t her fault Yusei was acting out, that her and his father’s bigoted ideas weren’t the reason the family was falling apart. 

It just made him so irrationally angry. So frustrated, that he didn’t know how he was supposed to take this. 

“He didn’t say anything about it, no,” he said, and pushed himself off the doorframe. “And you know, I think it’s best if I go.”

She tried to say something. He didn’t catch what. 

“Good night, Ma. Tell Dad I said hi.”

Chapter Text

The smell of pancakes was wafting through Daichi’s tiny apartment, something that felt both completely familiar and strangely foreign to Suga. He was used to pancakes – his mum made them often for breakfast, after all – but this wasn’t his room. And he’d been in here a lot since Daichi had moved in, obviously, but never this early in the morning, or only in his briefs under the sheets. 

“Hey.”

Daichi was smiling down at him from the doorway, a plate of pancakes and a mug in his hands. Suga smiled back, sitting up as Daichi handed him his pancakes, and took the moment to truly appreciate the scene before him. 

His boyfriend looked good, with the morning sun on his bare chest. 

“Aren’t you going to have some?” Suga asked as Daichi climbed in beside him. The bed was a double, something Suga definitely envied about this place, but the extra space was certainly welcome in moments like these. 

Daichi shrugged, settling back against the pillows. “I ate already.”

He leaned over for a kiss, short and chaste, and Suga pulled away from it with his nose scrunched up. 

“You taste like coffee.”

Daichi laughed. “Coffee tastes good.” 

It most certainly did not, but they’d had this discussion enough times for Suga to know he wasn’t winning this. 

“How long have you been awake?” 

Daichi glanced over at the alarm clock on the dresser, now reading quarter past nine. “About two hours.”

“Two hours,” he deadpanned. 

Daichi took a long sip of his coffee before acknowledging his raised eyebrows. “What? That’s pretty late, for me. The twins are almost always up at half six on weekends.”

“Daichi, it's Saturday. Probably a sin to wake up before eight,” he said, stabbing his pancake a little harder than strictly needed. “And god knows we’ve sinned enough for a while.”

Daichi choked on his coffee, and it took an insurmountable amount of self control not to smirk at that. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” he heard Daichi mutter beside him, and a quick glance over confirmed his boyfriend was, as expected, extremely red. 

The pancakes disappeared too quickly. Suga sunk back into the pillows, empty plate on his lap, and took a second to appreciate the peaceful quiet. Daichi looked up from his phone at the motion, coffee mug long drained, and shot him a lazy smile.

“I take it you liked them?”

It wasn’t really a question that needed answering, the empty plate kinda speaking for itself, but Suga humoured him anyway. “Yeah. Thanks for making breakfast.”

“I had time.”

Suga rolled his eyes, throwing the covers back and getting up with his plate, intending to go wash it before Daichi reached out to stop him. 

“Where’re you going? I’m gonna get cold, here.”

And then he pouted. It didn’t really work, but Suga had to give him an A for effort. “I’m sure you’ll survive.”

He bent down to give him another kiss, this time a little longer, and Suga still pulled away with a scrunched nose. 

“You still taste like coffee!” he called out as he made his way to the kitchen. “Brush your teeth if you wanna do that again.”

It was still too bare, but he kind of liked the contrast between cream walls and dark countertops. All Daichi had currently was a toaster, a dish rack and a coffee pot, all from a cheap appliance store they’d gone to last weekend, as well as some plates, a pan and cutlery. They’d joked, called it peak minimalism, but really they were both just broke. 

“You don’t have to do that right now,” Daichi said, coming in just as he was drying off his plate. He’d already done the other one that’d been sitting on the dish rack, probably the one Daichi ate on. “The dish rack is there for a reason.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, “but I like to. Makes it look all organised.”

“Makes it look empty.” Suga caught the briefest hint of something in his tone, something he wasn’t sure he could name, but then it was gone and Daichi’s normal expression was back. “What time do you have to go get ready?"

Ah yes. That. 

His father had arrived in Miyagi yesterday, and had asked to meet him at a cafe later today. Suga had agreed, his curiosity overwhelming any childish desire to say no just to spite the man, but now he was starting to wonder if that was such a good idea. 

He hadn’t seen his father in years. Not since he came over a few summers ago and his parents had fought again. He called sometimes, mostly to check how they were doing and to hear about Suga, but those conversations were always awkward. And usually cut short, by his father’s busy schedule. 

“Soon, probably. He wanted to have lunch.”

Daichi nodded, taking the dry plates from his hand and putting them away. “Do you know what he wants?”

And there it was, the million dollar question. What the man could possibly want with him after all these years of being happy staying away, after building a life that only barely included Suga. 

His mum told him he wanted to reconnect, to make up for lost time. He sensed there was something more to it but she wasn’t talking, and he supposed he’d get to find out soon enough. 

“I haven’t spoken to him in ages,” he replied, and he knew Daichi heard the edge to it. “No way of knowing.”

A few hours later Suga arrived at the address that he’d agreed to meet his father at, a friendly looking place not too far from Daichi’s. The cafe was small and not particularly busy, most customers probably coming later for a late Saturday lunch, so spotting his father at a table in the corner wasn’t very hard. 

“Koushi! Good to see you, my boy.”

His father stood as he spotted him, smile wide and arms spread as he made to hug his son. Suga accepted the gesture, even if it was a little awkward, and sat down opposite the man. 

“It’s been too long, you’ve grown so much. Your mother told me you’d gotten taller but I didn’t think you’d grown so tall. Look at you, all handsome and big. Almost out of school now, right?”

Suga’s brain was really struggling to compute how… fatherly he was sounding. “Yeah. I mean, almost. But yeah.”

The man smiled again, picking up a menu and handing it to Suga, before resuming his mostly one-sided conversation. “You can have anything you want from here. On me, obviously. But really, son… I’m so happy to see you again. I know I haven’t been around much these past years but you can’t imagine how much I’ve missed seeing you. My only son, and now you’re all grown up. I must’ve missed so much.”

Yeah, you have, was what he wanted to reply to that, but the rambling sounded kind of sincere. Like he really had missed him, and regretted all those lost years. 

It did strike him as a little odd, though, how much the man was talking. He was never one to waste words, something he’d mentioned a lot back when Suga was little and still found the long business trips his father went on cool. 

“Do you see anything you like?” Suga glanced down at the menu again, trying to find something light and inexpensive to get, not really being hungry for anything that big. Before he could even read the first option, though, his father had started talking once more. “Look at that soba, that looks good. Do you still like soba? You used to love it when you were little, asked for it every time we were out. Never understood why, but you did. Your mother says you like ramen now too? Or tofu? There’s both on the menu. I can’t remember what she said your favourite was, maybe I should’ve asked her-”

He kept rambling, and the sinking feeling in Suga’s stomach made itself known again. 

Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong, because he’d never seen his father act this nervous about anything. 

Could he be dying? Is this why he found a sudden interest in reconnecting?

He tried not to get ahead of himself, he really did, but it was hard not to jump to worst-case scenarios when he had nothing to work with. Why was he so keen on pleasing? And now, of all times, when Suga was nearly an adult? 

“Okay, Dad, stop. Just… stop. Why are you really here?”

His father put the menu down, mouth forming a tight line. “I was hoping to wait to do this until after the food got here, but you’re right. I’ll just get to the point. I… met someone. In Tokyo. A wonderful woman, really. She makes me very happy. And, well… we’re getting married, Koushi. In the winter. And we’d really like you to be there.”

Suga took too long to react. He knew he was supposed to do something, something other than stare. But his father just waited patiently, swallowing down any words he might’ve wanted to add.

His father was getting married. Married. To a woman Suga had never met, who for some reason wanted him there at their wedding. Or maybe she didn’t? Maybe his father had forced this on her? But he couldn’t think of a reason why the man would like to do that, either.

“Are you sure?” was the first thing he could think to reply, after too much time had passed. “About wanting me there? Are you even sure about her?”

His father didn’t look surprised at the questions, if only a little hurt. “Of course I want you there. Asami does too, believe it or not. We actually invited your mother as well, but she declined. I don’t blame her, really. I know I didn’t do right by her. Or you.” 

The words hung heavy in the air, but Suga felt a little relieved that he’d acknowledged it. He didn’t hate his father for never being around, not even close, but he couldn’t deny the bitterness he’d held for all the times he should’ve been there and wasn’t. 

“I want to do better. I do, Koushi, I really do. I think it’s too late to salvage anything with your mother, and after all I put her through I understand that, but… I’m really hoping it’s not too late to make things right with you.”

Suga didn’t respond immediately. “You missed so much, Dad. Mum had to make up for everything you didn’t show up to for years.” A pause, and then he kept going. “But I’m happy you know that what you did to her wasn’t right. And... I’m happy you’re here, I think. I’m happy you’re trying.”

His father nodded, smile tugging at his lips and a noticeable wetness in his eyes. “I am. And I understand if that isn’t enough yet, or ever. I know I wasn’t the best parent to you. But Asami and I really do want you there when we get married, if you want to come. She’s been dying to meet you ever since I first started talking about you.”

He wondered, briefly, what his father had said. 

“She sounds like a great person,” he said. “I’m glad you found her.”

“Me too,” his father agreed quietly. “I really do think you’d get along.”

It seemed like the man really was sure about this. About this woman, Asami, and about trying to be a better father. And who knew? Maybe it could work out this time. It certainly seemed like he’d matured a good deal from the workaholic businessman Suga had known as a kid. Maybe this was a chance to get to know his father for real, and to get a father who wanted to know him.

“Okay,” he said eventually, and his father looked up from his menu immediately. “Okay, Dad. I’ll go. I’d be happy to go.”

Conversation was much easier after that. They talked a little about Asami, about the wedding and how he’d proposed, then moved on to the topic of school and Suga’s plans for college. It was still a little weird, talking about normal things with his father, but a good kind of weird. A weird he could get used to. 

“What about outside of school, then? Anyone special?” his father asked, trying very hard to look nonchalant about it, but Suga could tell he wanted to know. “Anyone worth bringing as your plus one to Tokyo?”

The conversation had been steering this way for a while now, something Suga had hoped they’d be able to postpone a little longer. But now, with the question being asked so flat out, there was no real way to dodge it. 

Moment of truth, he supposed. 

“Yeah, actually. I have a boyfriend.”

It came out a little more nervous than he wanted it too. And he wasn’t meeting his father’s eyes as he said it, either. But he brought them up again when the man said nothing, only to find a small, surprised smile on his face. 

“You guys are serious enough to bring him to your father’s wedding, huh?” he said, and the smile only grew wider. “I’d love to meet this young man.”

And Suga let himself slowly breathe out the tension in his shoulders, before smiling too. 

“I think he’d like to meet you too.”

Chapter Text

The mid-morning sky was a startlingly pale blue, in stark contrast to the dark orange trees surrounding their little park. It wasn’t that cold for early October, all things considered, and not nearly cold enough for the need of real coats. That didn’t stop Suga from bringing one along anyway, closed right to the very top. 

I don’t want to catch a cold, he’d said, after a fair amount of teasing from Daichi. Is that such a crime?

There wasn’t any real reason for them to be out today, not when Daichi’s apartment wasn’t that far and Suga’s mum never minded when they spent the day hanging out there. But neither of them had really wanted to stay inside on such a nice morning so they’d elected to come out here, holding coffee from a local shop just down the road. 

Daichi sipped at his quietly, happy with the silence that had settled between them for now. The qualifiers for the Interhigh were just two weeks away, and Ukai had been working them hard to prepare. The team looked good, standing a real chance this year at getting into Nationals. He’d seen the twins again not that long ago too, briefly just to tell them about the upcoming games he was going to play, and Haruo had promised to convince Ma to let them go. 

(Yusei had mumbled something about sneaking out regardless, which Daichi elected to ignore. He’d just have to keep a closer eye on who turned up for the games.)

His cup was almost empty when Suga put his own down, leaning back against the climbing frame. His eyes were distant, not quite seeing the world in front of him. 

“Suga?” Daichi asked. 

His boyfriend looked up slowly, meeting his own with a reminiscent expression. “Just thinking,” he replied. 

“About?”

“If you told me a year ago that this is where we’d end up, I never would’ve believed you.”

Daichi knew the feeling. He’d thought about it too, how easily life could’ve taken him somewhere else entirely. What if Suga hadn’t kissed him that night? Would either of them have found the courage to confess another time? 

His relationship with his parents certainly wouldn’t be such a shitstorm right now. Maybe his father would still be able to look him in the eye, because Daichi probably never would’ve come out before university without a reason to do it, without something to make him want to be proud. Suga was the reason for so much in his life and none of it was perfect, but he might’ve just reached a point where he was happy. 

(Not pretending to be happy. Actually glad to be doing what he was doing, making choices based on what he wanted rather than what people wanted from him. He had his whole life ahead of him, and for the first time it didn’t seem like he would be alone the second he showed people who he was.)

Suga’s hand kept brushing the long grass around them, fingers threading through the longer stalks, until he stopped just over a patch of daisies. They were one of the few flowers left around as the summer days came to an end. 

“Remember our first date?” he asked quietly, as if Daichi could ever forget. 

Meat buns and cheap chocolate and feeling free for the first time in a long time, being able to just be without having to reach some invisible standard. Suga had made him want to never leave the safety of their little park, of the bubble they’d created where only them and the stars existed.

“Still can’t believe I took you to a children’s park for it, but uh… yeah. Can’t say I regret it.”

“No, it was great,” Suga smiled at him, small but honest and he smiled back. “I actually kept that bouquet of daisies in water for at least a week afterwards.”

That was news.

“You did?”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Suga said, elbowing his side without much strength behind it. “It’s just… that’s what you do after dates, right? My mum must’ve seen them at some point but she didn’t say a thing.”

Daichi was still laughing, but the warmth spreading in his chest was unmistakable. His boyfriend was so sweet. “You know I would not have been offended if you’d just left those on the roof, right? I picked them off the ground. Kids probably trampled on them daily.”

“Yes but… they were given with love. You don’t throw away flowers on your first date with your best-friend-slash-maybe-future-husband.”

Which was… what?

It took too long for him to process those words, realise what they implied. Too long for his brain to reboot when he realised because holy shit, that might actually be an option someday and maybe he’d thought about it, but he didn’t think Suga would ever get that far ahead yet-

“Did you just… propose?” 

He couldn’t keep the amusement out of his tone as Suga realised what he’d said. 

“Shit. I kind of did?” He didn’t look the least bit regretful though, not when he saw the growing smile on Daichi’s face, just as annoyingly shameless as ever. Daichi wasn’t completely sure how he’d survived all the teasing so far. “Seems kind of premature seeing as I’ve barely even told you I love you, but I guess we’ll have time for that too.”

Daichi could only gape, mind kind of lost for an appropriate response to that. “You’re actually going to kill me,” he said, doing his best to hide the heat in his cheeks with the hand coming up to rake through his hair. “But uh… I love you too.”

Suga took his face in his hands then, bringing him in for a kiss. His boyfriend was smiling into it, deepening the kiss even as Daichi tried not to chuckle at his eagerness, because this was a children’s park in broad daylight and Suga wasn’t usually the one to forget that. 

Eventually he pulled back though, smile so loving Daichi didn’t know what to do with it.

“We should continue that later,” he supplied helpfully. Suga just laughed his beautiful laugh and went back to threading his fingers through the long grass. 

It was a long time before either of them spoke.

“You know, I always thought Sugawara Daichi would suit you.”

Heavens, what is it with this boy and his ability to reduce him to a flustered mess?

But he did like it too. Sounded right, even, both their names side by side. Could they really get there someday? Would they see the law changed in their lifetime, soon enough to build an actual life together?

They were getting way ahead of themselves, he knew. But he couldn’t deny that he liked the thought.

“How long exactly have you been planning our eternity together?” he asked lightly, hoping to get back at Suga a little for how hot he was feeling. Smooth bastard didn’t let him, obviously.

“Since I first laid eyes on you.” Of course he didn’t even bat an eye. Daichi rolled his eyes, shoving him gently to show his unappreciation of having his heart tested like this. But then, taking a moment, Suga answered more seriously, “Since my dad told me about his wedding thing, I think.”

Oh yeah. That was a thing.

“How are you feeling about that anyway?

“I don’t know. I guess I’m mostly just happy for him? I can tell he loves this Tokyo woman more than he ever loved my mum.”

Which really should’ve been a more bitter sentence, but Suga had never been that bitter of a person. 

“Are you going to go?”

He knew Suga had been hesitant about this whole thing with his dad, at first. Not too keen to meet after nearly half a decade of longer and longer business trips and infrequent phone calls home. Daichi had never heard much about it but he knew the divorce had been a little messy, and that there were details that Suga wouldn’t mention. Still, he looked happier after yesterday.

“I was actually hoping we both would?” he asked tentatively, uncharacteristically nervous. “I told my dad about us. Or that I had a boyfriend, anyway. My mum was right, they care a lot less about things like this in the city. He actually said he’d like to meet you?”

He would actually really like that. Going to a wedding with Suga, anyway. It was still a few months away, and he would no doubt have to get a suit, a present, prepare himself to meet his boyfriend’s father… but it was okay. He wanted to do this with Suga.

“That would be great,” he said honestly, taking Suga’s hand in his. “Plus there’s the added benefit of seeing you in a suit.”

Suga smiled at that, thumb starting to draw patterns on his hand. 

“My mum isn’t going,” he said. “I understand, but… thanks. It would be weird to spend so much time around my dad alone.”

“Of course,” he said, pressing a kiss to Suga’s temple. “I’d be happy to go."

He knew it wouldn’t be perfect. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to kiss at the reception or dance together like they’d like to, or maybe they would and only a few people would stare and give them looks. Maybe they’d get annoyingly intrusive questions and they’d have to justify being there, loving each other, standing there together.

But that was just how life was going to be, right? 

There was no shortage of hate in the world, there was no point deluding themselves. A few months ago the prospect of standing proudly in a room full of people he’d never met, right beside his boyfriend… he probably wouldn’t have been able to do it. He would’ve wanted to disappear, let the judgement befall someone else, someone braver than he was, who could stand there and not care that there were people who thought he was wrong. Might’ve even believed them, despite logic saying otherwise, let the guilt and insecurity take him in a way he didn’t deserve.

It felt good, to know he’d gotten this far.

Love wasn’t going to be easy. Maybe never was a long time – it would get easier – but assholes were never going to just disappear. He just finally felt like he was in a place to feel happy about it regardless.

It was worth it, he decided. After all the shit at school and with his parents, it was worth it, for him to be sitting here with a guy he loved and their hands entwined, because this is what he wanted. His life, one he’d be happy to live out.

He would spend forever beside Suga, if he could.