Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The dorms were silent. Devoid of any chatter or choked laughter, their classmates having long since gone to bed, leaving only darkness and the faint glow of a street lamp in their wake. 

Katsuki gripped Deku’s hips through the blackness of his dorm room. Quiet gasps and sticky breath passed from one pair of lips to another, their hair clinging to their foreheads as errant fingers grabbed at each other fervently. Katsuki sat up from his heavy pillow, hands traveling up the small of Deku’s back, his mouth making its way to the crook of his neck. 

Izuku’s eyes strayed on Katsuki for far too long. Drifting across his face, taking notice of how his brow scrunched when his friends made a stupid joke. For a brief moment, he imagined how heavy his lips would be on his jaw later. 

From across the room, Katsuki glanced at Deku and pictured how nice his fist would look in his hair. 

As they passed each other in the hallway before retiring to their rooms, they each gave each other the knowing glance of my dorm, one hour.

Izuku’s footsteps were inaudible as he tiptoed down the hall, careful not to rouse anyone during his midnight sneaking. He didn’t even have to knock on Katsuki’s door, not that he even had to open it either; he was barely halfway through turning the doorknob before it whipped open, and he was being pressed back against it.

“You’re a little fuckin’ late,” was quipped against his cheek, Katsuki’s fingers pressing up his shirt. Izuku hardly had enough time to come up with an answer before Katsuki had him fully pressed against the back of the door, occupying his mouth with a rough kiss.

He was set up on Katsuki’s hips in an instant, legs wrapped around his waist as he was held up against the back of the light grey door. 

It was desperate, harsh, and so, so painfully quiet; Katsuki’s hips pounding into him, the damp smack of them against Deku’s nearly drowning out their hushed noises. 

They’d been doing this for a while. They both lost track of exactly how long, but it was long enough for them both to not want to go back to what they were previously doing. Fucking like this sure beat screaming at one another.

Granted, they still did that, too. They just decided the best way to deal with it was by fucking the frustration out. No strings attached, no heavy expectations, just sex. A culmination of emotions, perfectly wrapped in a package of humid breaths and skin on skin. 

Deku temporarily paused in Katsuki’s lap, shuddering at his lips dragging down his neck, sucking wet, swollen red marks over his pulse. He sucked in a quick breath as they moved to his chest, his arms clutching Katsuki’s shoulders, fingernails digging into the skin of his back.

“Kacchan,”

Katsuki loved that. Loved hearing his name rolling off of Deku’s lips so prettily, all the breathy little whimpers that he was responsible for. He bucked his hips into him, holding Deku still, rough fingers pushing into the flesh at his waist. He nibbled on a sweet spot under his jaw, causing Deku to gasp in a sharp breath as his hands held onto Katsuki’s shoulders, fingers trailing across his back and leaving behind deep crimson welts that Katsuki knew were going to hurt later.

Izuku could feel a familiar warmth beginning to bubble in his stomach, moving downwards rapidly and causing his thighs to tremble. “Kacchan, please,” he stuttered, a quiet moan making him trip on the last syllable. He ground his hips into Katsuki’s, desperately trying to find any sort of friction for his leaking cock. 

Katsuki’s eyes bounced up to Deku’s, his brow furrowing as he darted his tongue out to briefly lick his lips. “Close, huh Deku?” He teased, hands making their way to Deku’s chest, fingers brushing over his nipples. He grinned at the gasp Deku elicited as he pinched them between his thumb and forefinger.

Izuku could hardly get his thoughts out, they were just a jumbled mess in his head. He pushed himself into Katsuki’s hands, the only thing able to escape his lips being high pitched whimpers and a few melwed “Kacchan” s. He tightened his legs around Katsuki’s waist, clenching down on him, cock twitching as it bobbed against his stomach.

In one quick movement, their position changed, Katsuki leaning forward and pressing Deku down to the bed, face mere centimeters above his. The bed creaked underneath them, sheets shifting with every thrust. Under their moans, the bedframe tapped against the wall, scraping against the paint.

Katsuki unhooked Izuku’s legs from around his waist, pressing his palms to his thighs, holding them open. “ Fuck, you gonna cum for me, Deku?” He panted, watching himself disappear inside of him before he was snapped back to Deku’s face, scrunched up and mouth agape. 

Izuku was nearly undone, his face contorting with every movement Katsuki gave him, his lips parted open and sounding off chains of drawn-out whimpers and breaths. His hands grabbed at the sheets, nails scratching across the fabric as he tugged. “Yes, yes, god yes,” he half opened his eyes, lifting his head off of the pillow momentarily, staring at Katsuki. “Please, Kacchan.”

The change in his voice was enough to make Katsuki groan. He stared at him, taking notice of his half-lidded eyes, the green in them changing from a sparkling verdigris to a deep, dark forest green, rimmed by his thick eyelashes. Katsuki went harsher, deep moans bubbling up from the back of his throat as he held Deku’s legs apart. 

Heat crept up from Izuku’s chest, flooding his cheeks pink, his entire body beginning to spudder. He flung his hands from the duvet back to Katsuki’s shoulders, digging his nails into him as his body tightened, making a mess all over himself. His head lolled back against the pillow, spine arching off of the bed as he pushed his hips against Katsuki’s.

“Kacchan!” Was all he could manage to say, the word getting caught in his throat, coming out as a breathy whine.

Katsuki observed the entire event as it unfolded, continuing with his pace, only pausing to push his bottom lip between his teeth as Deku came all over his stomach and chest. He nearly lost himself in the sight, his whimpery little moans, his name drifting from his mouth. Katsuki’s head began to spin, and the moment he sped up, he couldn’t hold himself back. He whispered out a simple “Deku,”, hips smacking against Deku’s a few times before he stopped, squeezing his eyes shut and digging his fingernails into Deku’s thigh.

Katsuki held himself up for a second, fighting back the urge to fall on top of him, riding out his orgasm before he slowly pulled out of him. 

Izuku was a mess of whimpers, slowly lifting his head back off of the pillow as he sat up on his elbows. He breathed heavily, blinking a few times as he tried to regain himself. His hair was disastrously unruly, askew in every direction, tufts of green wildly spewing everywhere. Izuku puffed a piece out of his eyes, hunching his shoulders as he continued to sit up on the bed. 

Katsuki was halfway through cleaning himself up before he looked back at Deku, picking his clothes back off of the floor. “You look like a fuckin’ mess.” He laughed, taking notice of his hair and fucked-out expression. God, his face was enough to get him going again. The droopy, blown out eyes, blush settling against his freckles, lips ready to moan out another “Kacchan”.

He had to fight back getting hard again when his gaze drifted to between Deku’s legs. 

Katsuki watched himself slowly leak out of Deku’s still-clenching hole, making a mess over his thighs, which were now bruised from his hands. He averted his eyes, setting his jaw before he worked himself up all over again. He looked back to his face. 

“Alright, go fuckin’ clean up. You don’t want that shit to dry on you, it’ll be a bitch to get off your chest.” Katsuki ducked down to push his legs into the holes of his boxers, pulling them up his legs as Deku swung himself off of the side of the bed, carefully standing.

“I’m going, I’m going.” Izuku bent down to retrieve his clothes before he slowly padded to Katsuki’s bathroom, closing the door and turning the faucet on. 

Izuku cupped his hand under the stream, letting it pool in his palms before he brought it up to himself, letting the cold water drip down his face. It shook him out of his haze, allowed his eyes to finally adjust and go back to normal, head no longer fuzzy. 

Izuku looked at himself in the mirror, the darkening marks that Katsuki had left behind a sharp contrast against his skin. They dotted all over him, trailing from his neck down his chest, to his hips and even between his legs where Katsuki had held his hands for so long. 

As he stood, he felt something warm trickle down his leg, dripping past his thighs and forcing a deep blush to spread across his cheeks.

Kacchan.

He blinked himself out of the trance, and dampened a washcloth under the faucet.

From outside the door, Katsuki’s back stung. The cross-hatched marks Deku had scratched onto him were reddening by the second, paired with the numerous purple-y half moons he’d also left behind as he dug his nails into Katsuki’s back. 

Katsuki sat on his bed, smoothing out his sheets and readjusting his displaced pillows. “You almost done in there, damn nerd?!” It’d felt like Deku had been in the bathroom for ages, how long did it take to clean up? All he had to do was clean the cum off his chest and… there. Katsuki bit his lip thinking about it. That was a sight he’d never get tired of. 

“I’ll be right out!” Izuku answered, rolling his eyes as he pulled his pants up, turning and opening the door. 

“Wow, clothed already?” Katsuki stood again, making his way toward Deku as he stepped out of the bathroom. “Usually you’re half naked waddling down the hallway.”

“Technically, I still am.” Izuku only had his underwear and pants on, omitting his shirt for now, keeping it under his arm. He glanced at Katsuki’s alarm clock, reading the time and sucking in a breath through his teeth. “We ended too late, we’re going to be so tired tomorrow morning.”

Katsuki shrugged, moving closer to him and leaning into Deku’s ear. “So what?” He whispered, causing Izuku to shiver. “Why don’t we say fuck it, go for a round two.” His hands pressed themselves to Deku’s waist, slowly roaming up his sides. “Let me mark you up a little more,” Katsuki tugged on Deku’s ear with his teeth, gently, pushing him back against his hips, “show you who you belong to all over again.”

Izuku breathed shakily, his hands floating down to Katsuki’s, eyes staring off in the darkness of his dorm. He wanted to say yes so badly, wanted so desperately to rip his clothes off and tangle himself back in Katsuki’s bed until he was a panting mess. 

“It’s already past your bedtime,” Izuku chuckled, prying himself from Katsuki’s touch before he changed his mind. “It’s almost midnight, you were due to go to bed hours ago. You’ll be cranky if you don’t go to bed soon.”

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows and shot him the finger once they separated. “Fuck you, nerd!” He sat back down on his bed, looking up at Deku with his typical trademark scowl and unimpressed look. “Go to fuckin’ bed, Deku. I’m beating your ass tomorrow.”

Izuku sighed and rolled his eyes, turning Katsuki’s doorknob quietly, so as to not disturb anyone. “Goodnight, Kacchan.”

Katsuki threw himself down, rolling over so his back was facing the door. “Yeah, yeah, get the fuck out.”

Izuku pulled the door closed, letting it click silently.

Katsuki listened to Izuku’s footsteps disappear down the hallway, the scratches on his back still stinging.

Chapter Text

Izuku shifted in his chair, chewing on his pen as he tried his best to pay attention to what Aizawa was saying at the front of the class. He haphazardly scribbled down a few notes, mostly to just make it look like he was paying attention. 

His eyes flickered up to the back of Katsuki’s neck for a second, and he couldn’t help but linger. From Izuku’s position behind him, he could see the side of Katsuki’s cheek, held up by his hand under his jaw. He see-sawed his pencil between his fingers mindlessly, setting it down before he sat up to stretch.

Katsuki’s change of posture snapped Izuku out of his brief trance, eyes shifting back down to his paper. 

The entire class swung out of their seats, and Izuku could only assume through the bits and pieces that he’d paid attention to that Aizawa had announced they’d be running a training session that morning. He dropped his pen and followed suit with everyone else, heading to the back of the room to grab his designated briefcase before heading to the lockers. 

He shrugged his backpack onto his shoulders, gripping his briefcase in one hand as he started out the classroom door and down toward the locker room. He could hear Katsuki’s friends talking with him from down the hallway, namely Kirishima and Kaminari, laughing and clapping him on the back after one of his growled comments. A hand set itself on Izuku’s shoulder, and he tensed in surprise. 

“Good morning, Midoriya!” Iida chirped all too eagerly, moving to the side of him as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Looking forward to a great training session this morning!” 

Izuku offered a small smile, nodding as they walked side by side. “Yeah, me too.” 

Iida tilted his head in slight confusion. “You don’t seem very enthusiastic. Are you okay, Midoriya?”

To that, Izuku perked up and nodded, throwing in a chuckle for good measure. “Yeah, of course! Just a little tired. I’ll be fine!”

Iida seemed pleased with his answer, and didn’t press further. “Remember to get at least eight hours of sleep per night!” He lifted his left hand, palm rigidly held flat. “It’ll keep you healthy!”

Izuku laughed and nodded again, turning his gaze back forward as they approached the locker room.

There was really nothing wrong with him, in fact he truly was okay, but Katsuki had been a bit of a distraction as of late. He was still able to complete schoolwork and training just fine, but he found himself thinking late at night, about everything. About Katsuki, about them, about everything they’d done together. Fantasizing about when the next time might be, what would lead up to it and the euphoric release that came after.

Izuku opened the door to the locker room and made a beeline to his own, setting his briefcase down on the bench and moving his fingers to the top button of his uniform shirt. He moved down his chest slowly, shrugging it off and folding it into his locker before he flipped the clasps on his briefcase, opening the lid to grab the costume.

“We’ll meet you outside, Midoriya.” Izuku looked up to see Iida and Todoroki standing a few feet from him. 

“Do you want me to wait for you?” Todoroki asked, lingering as Iida turned around and headed toward the training ground. 

Izuku shook his head. “No, no! I’ll be right out, I’m almost done.”

Todoroki hesitated before he nodded, catching up with Iida quickly.

Izuku pulled his gloves up his arm, sitting down on the bench and tying the shoelaces on his sneakers. He zipped his costume up, smoothing out any wrinkles, before he ran to catch up to everyone else. 

Aizawa stood in front of everyone explaining the training exercise in detail, laying the ground rules and expectations for everyone. It was a group rescue mission, plus dealing with any other obstacles that decided to present themselves while they were on the grounds. A typical training session. 

Izuku was handed a piece of paper with his objectives, briefly glancing beyond the words at Kacchan, who had walked a few feet in front of him. He yelled out to Sero about partnering up, and Izuku blinked back down to his paper, rereading everything to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. 

The training had gone smoothly, with nothing significant occurring (which was a relief to Aizawa, who just wanted to nap). The class was dismissed back into the locker rooms to shower and change before their next period.

“Everyone, make sure to shower quickly and efficiently so we can all be on time to our next class!” Iida stood above everyone else, flinging his arm up and down quickly. His announcements went mostly ignored, minus Kaminari’ snickering.

Izuku pressed his palm into the button on his shower, standing away from the stream for a few seconds to let the water heat up. He tested it after a minute, letting the stream change from frigid to comfortably warm before he moved under it. 

The water soaked into his hair, dripping down his front before it clung to his forehead and trickled down his face. He tilted his head up to the stream, running his hands through his hair, letting the water permeate into him for a few minutes before he moved. The warmth was a welcome relaxant after being on edge during the training. For a few minutes, he was left to himself, unbothered. He wasn’t alone per se, he was still surrounded by his classmates, but they were too busy with themselves to notice him. It was a few minutes of peace, just him and the warm water cascading down on him. 

Izuku moved his hands up to wick the droplets out of his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to his surroundings. From across the room, he watched Katsuki at his own shower. 

He tried not to stare, eyes taking the same path across his body that the water did, before he stopped at the fading marks on his shoulders. Izuku blushed. They were made the last time he was in Katsuki’s bedroom, a few days or so ago. He tried to subside the growing heat in his chest, thinking about those scratches, how hard Katsuki had pounded into him as he dragged his nails across his back. 

Izuku had to avert his eyes. He would’ve gotten lost inside the fantasy if he looked at Katsuki for too long. Before he knew it he would’ve been walking over to him, begging to be taken right there against the wall. 

And Izuku would’ve let him, too. He didn’t care who would see, as long as Katsuki fucked him like that.

Izuku breathed in deeply, the fading hickeys on the insides of his thighs aching as he pressed his hand back into the button, the comforting warmth of the water ceasing all too quickly, leaving him dripping and cold. 

He grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist as he made his way back to his locker to get dressed.

He was halfway buttoning up his shirt when Katsuki passed him, making eye contact for far too long, which made Izuku’s heart jump and pound against his chest. It was a see me later look, one that Izuku knew all too well. It lasted barely a second, but in that moment, Izuku lost himself in him. 

Izuku grabbed his backpack, and hurried off to his next class.

Izuku tiptoed down the hallway quietly, trying not to bump into any walls in the darkness as he made his way toward Katsuki’s room. He stopped at the door, turning his head in each direction to make sure no one could see him, and once he confirmed all he saw was darkness, he knocked softly.

Katsuki opened the door and pulled him in hastily, catching the doorknob before it slammed and woke everyone on the floor. He pushed Izuku up against the wall, lips already on his neck. 

“It’s been too long.” He spoke between breaths as he kissed down Izuku’s jaw.

Izuku chuckled and tried his best not to smile. “It’s been like, three days, Kacchan.” He answered, tilting his head back against the wall and letting a breathy moan out of his throat. 

“I don’t give a shit.” Katsuki lifted his head to face him, hands busily shoving his sweatpants down. “Get on the bed, Deku.”

Katsuki’s weight withdrawing from him was enough to make him whimper, making his way to the bed as he was told, the nervous excitement bubbling in him as he lifted his shirt off. Katsuki crawled onto the bed a few seconds later, hovering above him before he pulled Izuku close, grabbing at his cheeks and kissing him desperately.

Izuku sat up and inched closer to him, the kiss only making him crave Katsuki even more. He held his hands on his shoulders, grabbing at him, wordlessly begging for more. 

Izuku loved being kissed. It made him think Katsuki wanted him as much as Izuku did. It made his fingers move quicker, grabbing at Katsuki’s hair and pulling him closer. The desperation he thrashed against Katsuki’s lips said please, just do whatever you want, I’m yours. 

Every time they kissed like this, Izuku had to hold back from whimpering out an “I love you”. He didn't know whether it was from the heat of the moment or some sort of deep-down desire, but he felt guilty every time he wanted to say it. He was terrified that everything they’d built up to, from their rebuilt friendliness to nights like this, would be ruined. 

Which was fine with him. If all Izuku had to do was keep that one phrase to himself in order to keep the desperate nights, he’d deal with it. 

Izuku breathed heavily, Katsuki following suit beside him as they came down from their high. Katsuki turned his head toward him, dragging his hand across his forehead to get the hair out of his face. “Go and clean up, Deku.”

The ritual was always similar. The rough, yearning sex followed immediately by surprisingly gentle care. Katsuki always made sure Izuku cleaned himself off after they were finished, made sure he was okay.

Izuku stood at the bathroom counter, his thighs aching again. The hickeys that were previously fading between them were now back to a bright purplish blue, hot on his skin and sore to the touch. A part of Izuku never wanted them to fade. He wanted to be reminded of Katsuki every time he looked between his legs, wanted to be reminded of how they got there and the way Katsuki looked as he dotted them on his skin. Izuku wrung his hands dry, and turned toward the door.

When he opened the door, Katsuki was standing behind it.

“It’s late, you should stay the night.”

Izuku looked puzzled. “I’m alright—”

“I wasn’t asking.”

It was quick, and to the point, with a heavy period at the end of the sentence. Katsuki's face was stern, leaving no room for Izuku to decline his request, but also soft, as if pleading for him to say yes.

Izuku swallowed and nodded, cheeks flushing as he made his way back to Katsuki’s bed. He could feel himself begin to overthink, but decided not to press Katsuki further. If Kacchan wanted him to stay, he’d stay. 

He laid down in the previous spot where he’d just been writhing on, moaning Katsuki’s name in a hushed tone.

“If anyone knocks on the door, wake me up.”

Izuku nodded and watched Katsuki take his place in the bed, rolled over and facing one side, back toward him. He lingered on his back, now red with new nail scratches, dragging down across his shoulder blades and the dip of his spine. Izuku tugged his bottom lip between his teeth before he followed suit, turning over the opposite way.

“Goodnight, Deku.” Katsuki’s voice was sleepy, with an underlying tone of grumpiness, probably because it was so late. Izuku chuckled.

“Night, Kacchan.”

Izuku mouthed I love you to the wall before closing his eyes.

Chapter Text

Katsuki shifted in his seat on the bench of the lunch table he was sat at, watching Todoroki drift his hand down Izuku’s shoulder from across the room. 

He was half paying attention to the conversation he was having with Kirishima, mindlessly shoveling in his spicy miso ramen before he stole another glance beyond his table, back at Izuku and that half-and-half bastard who was getting all too close. The spice of his ramen was nothing in comparison to the anger that was rising in him the more he looked at them.

Them. Todoroki with his stupid laugh, eyes crinkling as he placed his palm on Izuku’s shoulder, letting it fall down his arm slowly. Izuku, in turn, naively laughing along with him, oblivious to Todoroki’s obvious flirting. It made Katsuki’s blood boil. He nearly snapped his chopsticks in half.

Izuku laughed as he set his bowl of katsudon back down onto the table, holding his chest at a stupid joke Iida said. The chorus of laughter from both Iida and Todoroki combined only made him laugh harder, practically doubling over in his seat as he tried to keep himself from choking on his giggles. As he leaned back, he could feel Todoroki place his hand on his back, fingers coasting across his shoulder blades and down his spine. It felt slow in the moment, but almost as soon as it was set there, the hand vanished.

Izuku nearly overthought it, but decided to let it go, for now. He figured it was just a friendly gesture, there was no point in overanalyzing it. 

His eyes caught Katsuki’s from across the lunch room, and for a brief second, Izuku could feel his gaze pierce right through him. It was sharp, painful almost, making him suck in a quiet breath before he was back at his own lunch table, still laughing with his friends.

But in that moment, it seemed like their eyes locked for an eternity. Everything around them faded into nothing, there was nothing left but them and ten feet of space. For a small eternity within a fraction of a second, they lived in each other’s eyes, twisting and pulling at one another desperately, trying to make their quick touchless rendezvous one they’d remember. 

Izuku would be thinking about it for the rest of the afternoon. 

Katsuki turned back to Kirishima, catching the tail end of whatever he’d been talking about, his eyes back down at the bowl of ramen he’d momentarily forgotten about. He lifted his chopsticks to his lips, taking a bite as he listened to Kirishima drone on about the training exercise Aizawa put them through earlier, something about his quirk progressing or whatnot. He half participated in the conversation, only piping up to offer halfhearted nods that showed that he was at least slightly paying attention.

Except his mind was elsewhere. His mind was focused on the red hot rage that was bubbling inside him as he continued to think about Todoroki’s lingering hands, how they drifted oh so softly over Izuku’s shoulders, as if he were getting ready to take his index finger and tilt Izuku’s head in until the space between them was nonexistent. 

Part of him wanted to shove his fist into the wall and explode it from the inside out. He would turn the exposed brick obsidian in his wake, melting the drywall until it looked like a candle that had been lit for too long. 

Another part of him wanted to walk right over to the table and shove Izuku onto it, tearing his uniform off and fucking him there until he screamed his name so loudly everyone in the entire school would know exactly who’s lips the sound was coming from. 

Katsuki blinked into Kirishima’s voice, mind unfogging as he comprehended what he was saying to him.

“You alright, man? You look a little out of it.”

Katsuki’s eyes fully focused back on Kirishima, and his fingers snapped back to lifting more ramen. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He spoke between bites. “Sorry.”

He tried to keep his mind occupied so as to not let it wander again, trying not to get swept back into Izuku and Todoroki and the volcanic anger that beat against his veins. 

He hated feeling like this. Helpless, like he was dangling on the precipice of an abyss, and Deku was at the bottom of it. 

Deku spread like a wildfire in every corner of Katsuki’s body. He set everything ablaze inside of him, leaving nothing unconsumed by his flames. It extended out like tendrils from the darkest part of his heart, and touched every edge of his entire being. It was unstoppable, unable to be snuffed out or suffocated. 

Deku was a fire inside of him, and Katsuki was more than willing to keep fueling it. 

Katsuki finished the last of his ramen, glancing back up at Deku for just a moment, and then turning back to Kirishima to finish the rest of the conversation. He barely got a flash of green before he was snapped back, but that was enough for him. 

Katsuki stood up too quickly once the bell rang that announced lunch was over and they were to proceed to their next class, nearly knocking over his bowl in the process. He hissed, grinding his teeth and pressing his fingernails into his palm to keep from lashing out. He could faintly hear Kirishima and Kaminari’s laughter at his blunder, but it was easy to ignore it.

He was distracted by fucking Icy Hot leaning in toward Izuku as they walked. The corners of his eyes reddened. 

“Jeez, Bakugou, you didn’t even spill anything, calm down.” Kaminari quipped, his chuckling with Kirishima continuing.

Katsuki turned his head back to his friends, having not noticed how rigid he’d gone. His eyebrows were furrowed, fingers curled into tight fists, shoulders hunched. Damn it.

“Shut up, dunce face. I’m fine.” He snapped, relaxing and picking his backpack up off of the ground.

“You sure about that? Don’t wanna take it out on the unspilled bowl of ramen?”

Katsuki whacked the back of Kaminari’s head, swiping his fingers across it quickly and huffing his backpack onto his shoulders. “Fucking drop it, damn!”

Kaminari let out a quiet “ow” before he started laughing, hand reaching back and rubbing at his head. 

Katsuki shrugged past both Kaminari and Kirishima, listening to their laughter as they trailed behind him while he made his way to their next class. 

He tried his best not to look ahead at where he knew Izuku was.

Katsuki sat on the end of his bed, head tilted back and his fingers tangled in green.

Izuku’s lips were something that Katsuki tended to linger on. Whether he was shouting during a training exercise or widening into a chaste smile, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at them. 

He’d often imagine how they’d look while half open, moaning out silently as his fingers gripped at the pillow under him or on Katsuki’s shoulders.

Katsuki lifted his head up, looking down and nearly cumming at the sight of Deku choking on his cock. 

God, Izuku looked so fucking pretty on his knees. 

Firmly on the ground, his body leaning forward and lips wrapping around Katsuki’s dick so perfectly, the tip of it reaching the back of his throat. Izuku gagged, just barely, before he continued moving down.

Katsuki groaned as he moved into his throat, gripping Deku’s hair in his hands as his hips involuntarily bucked.

Izuku’s nose brushed against the base of Katsuki’s cock, reaching the small patch of soft blond hair. He breathed, shakily, wrapping his thumb in his palm to keep from overly gagging. He slowly moved himself back up, sucking on the tip to give his throat time to recover, before he started back down.

His eyes blinked up at Katsuki, fixed on him as he continued to move, just for a moment before his hair fell in front of his face. 

It’d been a while since he’d done something like this for Katsuki. 

They’d been fucking, yes, and casual blowjobs surely came with their foreplay, but Izuku couldn’t remember the last time he formally lowered himself to his knees and sucked Katsuki off. 

And Katsuki didn’t even have to ask him to do it. Izuku got to his room and took the reins from there, hands moving to Katsuki’s front, unbuckling his belt for him as he lowered down onto the floor. Izuku’s rare brazenness only made Katsuki harder, and once Izuku pulled his pants down and wrapped his lips around him, Katsuki’s knees buckled. 

Izuku was in perhaps one of the most vulnerable, submissive positions anyone could be in, yet Katsuki was kept solidly in place by him, fully at his mercy. He drifted his hands down to his face, brushing the hair out of his eyes. He shivered once he looked down at him. 

“Fuck, Deku,” He groaned through his teeth, gasping in a breath once Izuku quickened. He pushed Deku’s head all the way down, his entire body tensing as he threw his head back, hips bucking into Izuku’s mouth. 

Katsuki trembled as Izuku slowly pulled off of him, fingers wiping away the thick strings of saliva that roped from his cock to Izuku’s lips. Izuku was quiet, head bowed for a moment before he slowly lifted it back up, staring at Katsuki through teary eyes, a product of the occasional gagging. 

Katsuki huffed quietly and rapidly, sucking in deep breaths as he looked down at Izuku, hands now braced behind him to keep him from falling onto the bed. 

Izuku blinked out a few thin tears before he darted his tongue out to swipe the excess cum that hadn’t made it into his mouth. Izuku’s cheeks flooded pink, for only a second, before he swallowed.

Katsuki’s jaw went slack the moment he realized Deku had waited until he was looking at him to swallow. He was lucky he was sitting down, because he was certain that if he were standing the sight would’ve forced him to come crashing down, legs giving way under him.

Izuku wiped his nose with the back of his hand, swiping the tears off of his cheeks as he sat back, pulling his knees out from under him. He giggled softly once he noticed Katsuki’s shaky breathing. 

“I guess I did good, Kacchan?”

It was getting more and more difficult for Katsuki to keep himself upright. “You could say that.”

Izuku chuckled and stood, legs slightly wobbly from being in the same position on the floor for so long. “I’ll let you sleep.”

Katsuki almost let him go before he snapped out of it, sitting up so quickly that it momentarily made him dizzy. He snatched Izuku’s arm, yanking him back down to the bed before he pinned Deku’s wrists down to the sheets. 

“You didn’t think you were getting out of it that easily, did you, nerd?”

Izuku shivered and clammed up. “Kacchan, you don’t have to, I’m fine—”

Katsuki cut him off by pressing his palm between his legs, teasing him through his pants. “Shut up, relax.”

Izuku bent his head back against the pillow, hissing a breath through his teeth once Katsuki pulled his cock out from the waistband of his boxers. 

Katsuki shifted his attention between Deku’s face and his cock, which he was now thumbing, slowly pumping his fist over it to get Deku worked up and red. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, hand working its way on him, the little whimpers and moans going straight to his own dick. 

Izuku brought his arms to wrap around Katsuki’s, and it only narrowed his focus even more. Katsuki didn’t waste any time in quickening his pace, working through Izuku’s thighs tightening around his hand and the frequent mewling moans he was whimpering into his ear.

It was “Kacchan” and “oh god” and “fuck, Kacchan, I’m gonna cum”, among a slew of others, presented in a breathy, high pitched whimper that Izuku was breathing into his shoulder, cheek pressed into the crook of Katsuki’s neck. 

Not even five minutes had passed before Izuku was tensing, his cock twitching as he came all over himself, Katsuki unable to look away.

In that moment, Katsuki thought of Todoroki’s hands on Izuku’s shoulder earlier. 

Except it was Katsuki’s hands that were making Deku writhe. Katsuki’s name that Deku was moaning. Katsuki's cock that Deku's lips were wrapped around. Katsuki's cum that Deku was swallowing.

Katsuki smirked to himself, reaching over his nightstand to grab a tissue for Izuku to clean himself off with.

Chapter Text

Izuku tapped his pen on the edge of his notebook, fingers planted on his chin as he pursed his lips in concentration. 

He was currently sitting on Todoroki’s bed, going over notes from the week’s class, quizzing one another on the key points. He clicked the top of his pen, jotting down something he’d missed that Todoroki picked up on. 

Typically Iida would join them for their study sessions, usually leading notes and gently berating them for not paying attention in class with a stiff wave of his arm. He skipped out tonight, though, much to Izuku’s confusion. He figured he was busy perhaps, maybe helping to tutor other classmates who needed it more than he and Todoroki did.

Regardless, Izuku was sitting on Todoroki’s bed, and they were alone. 

They were alone, and Izuku had noticed him scooting closer. He’d lean over, just for a second, peeking at his notes before nodding and reverting back to his original position. Izuku ignored it in the beginning, but he’d been leaning in closer and closer each time, testing how far he could go.

Izuku and Todoroki had almost always been close. Izuku personally thought of him as his best friend, or at least the one he was closest to, even above Iida and Uraraka. He knew he could confide in Todoroki with anything, be it something major or something as mundane as what he’d eaten for breakfast.

Todoroki was a mystery, though. Quiet and aloof, with a thick wall between him and getting close to people. He only had a few close friends (and Izuku considered himself one of them, along with Iida), and the rest were just people he was casually friendly with. Izuku was one of the few people he’d be himself around, and Izuku noticed; he’d become more sociable, his personality would bubble out in half cracked smiles and giggles from jokes he didn’t mean to say. Todoroki was at ease around Izuku, and he could tell.

Izuku was also the only person Todoroki had really opened up to. He’d gotten into the details of the rough childhood he had; the abuse he suffered under his father’s hand, the way his mother’s face looked when she burned him. No one, not even Iida, knew the things that Todoroki had told Izuku. 

Izuku knew that he was Todoroki’s first friend. 

He didn’t mind at all, of course, in fact he thought of it as an honor. Izuku didn’t have many friends growing up himself, so to finally have a good one was more than a privilege. 

Todoroki leaned over him again, reading over a few lines of notes before his eyes blinked up to Izuku’s face. “I think I got it all.”

The gaze made Izuku’s heart sink. “Oh, good!” His voice was slightly too high, breaking off at the end in a pitchy squeak. 

Todoroki’s look was soft, yet intense. Not intense like the way he looked at him at the sports festival, with fire in his irises and pure determination in his fingertips, no, this was something much, much different. It was brief, like a candle that had just been blown out, only it’s few seconds of smolders left in its wake. In an instant it was gone, just like that. 

Izuku didn’t have time to overthink before Todoroki smiled and set his hand on his thigh. “Thanks for helping me study, Midoriya.” He closed his own notebook, setting it down on his nightstand. “Thanks for keeping me company, too.”

Izuku’s heart was beating so harshly he was afraid it might burst out of his chest. It drummed in his ears, pounding in his fingertips and practically making his entire body throb. What the hell was this? What was Todoroki doing?

He cleared his throat. “Oh it’s no problem at all!” His voice was still too pitchy. Shit. He had to get himself under control, before he really fucked up. He tried to bite back the growing heat spreading up his neck, swallowing hard to try and get rid of his obvious change of tone. “Always happy to be here.”

Todoroki squeezed his thigh, barely, and the tips of Izuku’s ears were on fire. “I-I should get going!” He stumbled, inching to the edge of Todoroki’s bed and fumbling to get his notebook and pen. “Getting late, should be getting to bed anyway.” He tried not to make his breath sound so labored, but it was getting more difficult as his heart continued to thump. 

Todoroki’s hand retreated once Izuku stood, his smile only faltering just slightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

Izuku blinked a few times and nodded, hastily starting to back up toward the door. “Yeah, yeah,” he slowed himself down enough to flash Todoroki a friendly smile, shoving his notebook under his arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah. Goodnight!”

He didn’t give Todoroki time to stop him before he was out in the hallway, clutching his hand to his chest and starting down toward his dorm.

Why did Todoroki do that?

Did Todoroki like him? Was he just so blind as to not have seen it before? He always thought they were close, but never really figured he had a crush on him. 

Was he really that oblivious? Todoroki did trust him very much, and had grown the closest to him out of all of their friends. He comforted Izuku when he was upset, even offered him some of his prized soba to help him feel better. Fuck.

Fuck. Izuku really was that stupid.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

Izuku hung on the phrase. It seemed less like he was asking him a question and more like he was begging Izuku for permission to see him. Todoroki had to confirm that they’d see each other again, despite the fact that the answer was guaranteed.

Did Izuku even like Todoroki back?

If he were honest with himself, he never really thought about it. Todoroki was his friend, a confidant that he could rely on. He felt deeply for Todoroki, but whether those feelings were platonic or something more, he wasn’t sure. 

Though, the more he thought about it, the more he could picture him and Todoroki together—

A hard bump slammed into his shoulder, and for a second Izuku thought he’d walked into the wall. He snapped his head up, only to find someone rubbing their arm.  

“Fuck, Deku, watch where you’re going.”

Kacchan. Shit. “S-Sorry! Wasn’t paying attention.”

Though Izuku couldn’t see it, he could feel Katsuki rolling his eyes. “No shit, you really gotta pick your head up when you walk—are you feeling okay?” He cut himself off quickly, stepping toward Izuku.

Izuku was taken aback for a moment. “Yeah, yeah I feel fine, why?” 

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows. “You look red, like you got a fever. C’mere.” He grabbed Izuku’s arm, pulling him toward his dorm so they could talk. He shut the door as quickly as they filed in, flicking the light on and moving back to Izuku.

He laid the back of his hand on Deku’s forehead. “You don’t feel feverish.” He narrowed his eyes. “Did something happen?”

Now that Katsuki thought about it, Izuku was walking from somewhere. He looked like he was making his way back to his own dorm, walking away from someone else’s. 

Todoroki’s.

“No!” Izuku was quick to answer, too quick. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from darkening even redder. 

Katsuki breathed in, slowly, trying not to let his anger show. That Half-and-Half bastard. Deku was coming back from his room, which meant that his behavior, the stuttering, the quick answers, the redness, the hesitation, was because of him. 

Had they done anything? Held hands? Kissed? Was that why Deku was acting like this, flustered and antsy? 

Had they fucked?

Katsuki set his jaw and dug his thumb into his palm, trying to get rid of that train of thought, all of them. He couldn’t think about that now, that would only send him into a spiral of rage that would inevitably end with him charring some poor span of wall. 

He folded his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow and exhaling. “You better stay with me, make sure you don’t die on me overnight.”

Izuku blinked and furrowed his eyebrows.“What? Kacchan, I’m fine—“

“That wasn’t a suggestion.”

Katsuki’s expression was intense, much more intense than the one Todoroki briefly gave him earlier. This one was more sure, more urgent, like if Izuku said no Katsuki would’ve dragged him back to the bed and pinned his wrists to the mattress.

Maybe that’s exactly what Izuku wanted.

Izuku sighed, setting his notebook on Katsuki’s dresser and wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m telling you though, I’m fine.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for Katsuki to follow suit.

“Yeah, yeah.” Katsuki crawled onto his bed a few moments later, dragging Deku back with him, huffing down to his pillows. “Whatever you say, Deku.”

Izuku stared at him for a few seconds, just at the side of his cheek, before he laid down on his own pillow. His eyes dragged over his cheek for what seemed like forever, invisibly tracing over the apple of it, the dip that led to his lips, the curve leading up his cheekbone and the edge of his eyelashes. He lingered on it for as long as he could, just to be able to visualize something when he closed his eyes. His back faced Katsuki’s, looking at the wall in front of him. 

Katsuki stared at the wall in front of him intently, finally allowing his mind to wander back to Deku and Icy Hot. He knew Half-and-Half was getting too touchy, between his arm on Deku’s shoulder at lunch and now this, it only made his anger more acute. Thinking about what they could’ve done to make Deku that nervous, it made his blood boil. 

Katsuki adjusted himself, pulling his duvet up to his chest and slamming himself down onto the bed, huffing as he tried to make himself comfortable. Fucking Icy Hot, making him lose sleep over this shit.

Katsuki consciously began to scoot his leg closer to Izuku’s, focusing on something other than the anger for a moment. His ankle brushed against Deku’s calf, and he could feel him twitch.

Izuku blinked a few times at the wall in front of him, slowly moving his own leg, testing to see if Katsuki was touching him on purpose or on accident. The blush that had subsided began to rage again once he could feel Katsuki slowly drag his ankle up his leg, brushing it against him slowly. 

He bit down on his lip, positive that Katsuki could hear the steady pounding in his chest, which was all too steady tonight. He pushed himself back against Katsuki’s leg, both of them dragging against the sheets as they focused on each other. Izuku had to hold back a grin, letting it be interrupted by his lip between his teeth. 

Their legs tangled together, silently.

Chapter Text

On days off, Katsuki wanted nothing more than to lay in his bed and be left alone. He could have the quiet, the serenity of doing nothing, with the freedom to be able to wander out and grab something from the fridge, only to be able to go back up to his dorm and bask in the silence. 

Those were his normal days off, no one to bother him except the occasional Kaminari or Kirishima, who only knocked if they were going out and didn’t want to exclude Katsuki from their plans. Katsuki would typically brush them off, delivering a sarcastic “why the hell would I want to hang out with you two?” as they draped themselves on his doorframe. 

They’d roll their eyes and chuckle a response, muttering a “your loss” under their breaths as they left Katsuki alone again, door swinging shut as the silence settled again.

That was how normal days off usually went, but Kaminari decided to bicker with him. “C’mon, man! You never want to go out!”

Katsuki looked up from his place on the bed, staring at them both through furrowed brows. “And it’ll stay that way.” He hissed, pulling one of his hands out from under his head to flick his middle finger at him. “Fuck off.”

Kaminari groaned and tilted his head back in frustration. “A day out won’t kill you!” He whined, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking on his heels. “Please? C’mon, have some fun!”

“He’s right, Bakugou, you’re always one of the only ones left here.” Kirishima chimed in, which only further irritated Katsuki. If there was one thing he hated more than Kaminari’s pleads, it was both of them bickering with him at the same time.

“That’s how I like it.” He answered quickly, trying to be short on purpose so they’d leave him alone. He knew it wouldn’t work, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. He could hear both of them groan under their breaths.

“I’m not leaving until you go out with us.” Kaminari folded his arms across his chest, shoulder leaning on Katsuki’s doorframe. 

“Then you can stand there all day.”

“Bakugou,” they both whined, annoyingly, at the same time.

Katsuki closed his eyes and groaned, taking a moment to remember the comfortable feeling of laying down before he sat up, turning to the side of his bed and standing to get to his dresser. “Fine, whatever.”

He’d agreed to go out with them, and now he was wandering around the stupid fucking shopping mall alone, having lost both of them in a mad rush to get from store to store. Katsuki mentally cursed both of them in his head, grumbling as he scoured the mall searching for them, shoulders hunched and hands tangled in the pocket of his hoodie. 

It wasn’t all bad, though; he finally got to be alone, even if it was in a crowded mall instead of the peace of his dorm. He was free to do whatever he wanted, wandering in and out of stores as he pleased, taking all the time he wanted in each. Katsuki had to admit it was quite… nice. 

Maybe they were right, he did need to get out more. 

Katsuki walked what seemed like three laps around the entire perimeter, not spotting so much as a strand of either of them. He tried to focus on bright yellow and red, coming up empty handed every time.

When he looked up again, though, he caught a flash of red, nearly yelping out an exasperated “finally!” as he locked onto it.

This red was slightly different after a second glance, though. A familiar mid-toned crimson, split down the middle with white replacing it suddenly. 

Icy Hot?

Todoroki stood thirty feet from him, accompanied by an all too familiar glimmer of green that Katsuki knew too well. Todoroki laughed at something Katsuki couldn’t hear, walking side by side with Izuku.

Katsuki was frozen where he stood.

He was certain neither of them had spotted him, their attention exclusively toward each other, mutually giggling and conversing between themselves. Katsuki wanted to look away, wanted to keep walking and not turn back, but his eyes followed them both intently, unable to break from them.

Todoroki continued to laugh, leaning into Izuku and letting their shoulders brush. 

Katsuki swelled, his hands growing heavy in his hoodie pocket, palms rearing to spark. He stumbled back as his body tensed, bumping into a few people and quickly apologizing as he found his balance again. He sulked, trudging heavily on the linoleum floor as he watched Icy Hot and Deku, together. 

Together.

The word itself made Katsuki’s blood boil. He couldn’t fucking stand it, seeing them both laughing and giggling like they were during lunch. Todoroki’s hand on Deku’s shoulder, the lingering touch that made Katsuki want to destroy the entire cafeteria. 

The brief little shoulder brush Todoroki had just done only made the anger surge harder.

Furious heat rose in Katsuki’s chest and settled in his face, making the tips of his ears burn hotter than coals in a house fire.

Had they come alone? Did Deku come with his other friends? Was four eyes and gravity girl and the frog chick with them as well, or was it just those two?

Were they on a date?

The thought made Katsuki set his jaw tightly, hands now balled into fists as he made his way across the mall again, trying desperately to find his friends that he’d misplaced. He’d do anything for a distraction right now, even if that distraction was something idiotic Kaminari said. 

Blood pounded in his ears, thumping so loud that the buzz and chatter of the mall became nothing more than background noise. His legs moved involuntarily, taking him somewhere he didn’t know, but Katsuki didn’t care; as long as he got away from Todoroki and Izuku and whatever the fuck they were doing. 

A firm hand planted on his shoulder. “There you are! We’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you!”

Katsuki turned around on his heel, body rigid as he moved. 

Kirishima. 

“You okay, man?” He asked, tilting his head as he stepped back from Katsuki.

Katsuki blinked out of his head, nodding and relaxing his hands in his pocket, pulling them out slowly and setting them at his sides. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” his voice was slightly agitated, but he was coming out of his trance. “Got pissed off looking for you two, do you know how much I’ve fuckin’ walked?”

Katsuki could hear their chuckled apologies, but didn’t pay attention to any of it. He mindlessly nodded along to their words and nervous laughter, but to him it just sounded like incoherent sounds. He was too far back into his haze, replaying the moment that occurred just seconds before over and over.

“Dude, you sure you’re okay?” Kirishima was waving his hand in front of Katsuki’s face, sputtering out a quiet laugh once Katsuki blinked the glaze off of his eyes.

Katsuki nodded quickly, furrowing his eyebrows in annoyance before he brushed him off. “Yeah, c’mon, you guys done? Let’s get out of here.” His voice was lowered to his usual grumble, trying desperately not to let any of the other underlying anger show through. He didn’t feel like being questioned for his slightly moodier-than-normal behavior. 

“Yeah, we’re done.” Kirishima was still laughing at Katsuki’s obliviousness, turning around with Kaminari and heading toward the exit of the mall. Katsuki stuffed his hands back in the pockets of his hoodie, following close behind them both.

He wanted to leave as quickly as possible to avoid even the mere thought of running into Deku and Todoroki. He couldn’t stand the idea of having to make small talk, looking at Todoroki’s smug, oblivious face and having to watch his shoulder brush Deku’s so delicately up close. 

He’d punch the polite smile right off of Todoroki’s face if he could. 

Katsuki was so far gone in thought that he didn’t even notice that the three of them had already reached the train station, standing at the platform and waiting for their own to pull in. It wasn’t far from the mall, but still, he hated how worked up Todoroki made him. 

Fucking Todoroki and his laughing smile and lingering touch that itched away at Katsuki no matter how hard he scratched. He could dig his nails into his skin until he bled and he’d never get rid of the stinging of Todoroki’s flirtatious glances and tightening fingers. 

They should be his flirtatious glances. His tightening fingers. 

Their train pulled into the station, Kaminari and Kirishima briefly conversing with him as they took their seats. Katsuki had no idea what they were saying, he’d only been replying with short yes’ or no’s, with the odd “tch” thrown in.

He sat down beside Kaminari, taking his phone out of his pocket as the train lurched forward.

The quiet buzz in Izuku’s pocket came as a surprise to him.

He wasn’t expecting anyone’s message, figuring it was Asui or Uraraka asking where he was or if he wanted to do something with them. He certainly wasn’t expecting to see a message from Kacchan illuminating back up at him, fixed on his screen and burning into him until it faded to black.

Kacchan: how’s your date going?

The words made Izuku go cold. Kacchan had been at the mall at the same time as he and Todoroki? Or did someone at the dorms tell him where they’d gone? 

Regardless, the message made him shiver. Date. He wasn’t on a date. Todoroki had just asked if he wanted to tag along to the mall with him, and Izuku didn’t want to say no.

They hadn’t really been talking besides short, friendly little conversations since their alone study session. Izuku didn’t want for there to be an air awkwardness between them, so when Todoroki knocked on his door and asked, he enthusiastically agreed.

Izuku clicked his phone open again, typing in his password hastily and replying back to Katsuki.

Izuku: it’s not a date

He could hardly put his phone back into his pocket before it buzzed again, Kacchan’s name splaying on his lock screen once more. 

Kacchan: sure looked like one

Izuku pursed his lips silently, trying to think of something to reply with. He didn’t have time to get into the details, didn’t want to be rude and type away in front of Todoroki, so he pressed his thumb into the side of his phone, shoving it back into his pocket, for now. 

So what if it was a date? Todoroki was kind enough to ask him to go out on their day off, alone, walking around the mall and just talking as they mindlessly found their way into stores. He made the effort to spend time with him, and if Izuku were honest, it made him feel special.

Besides, what he and Kacchan had was strictly one sided, nothing else. It was sex when they felt like having it or when they were frustrated, no strings attached, nothing more.

It was strictly one sided, no matter how much Izuku wanted it not to be. 

He focused back on Todoroki, quickly putting his smile back on and giggling at whatever he was laughing at.

Katsuki was agitated the entire train ride back to UA, sulking back to the dorms and shutting his door tightly the moment he got back to his room.

The little Read 2:36 PM at the bottom of his last message taunted him, and he found himself checking his phone every five minutes for something, anything, much to his great annoyance.

Fucking Deku. Making him so anxious, checking his phone like he was a pre-teenage girl who had just acquired her crush’s number. 

Katsuki didn’t care if him and Icy Hot were on a date, not one bit. They could hold hands and kiss and flirt in front of him all they wanted, he didn’t give a shit.

But he despised the idea of Deku actually dating him. Made his chest feel funny, like there was a heavy rock lurking in it, pushing him down to the ground until he couldn’t stand. The sheer thought was enough to make his throat constrict. 

Katsuki cared if Izuku and Todoroki dated. He cared because if they did, Deku would stop being his. 

Deku was only his late at night, when they’d sneak midnight conversations and Katsuki would grip his hips oh so tightly, but he didn’t care. Deku would stop being his for those glorious few hours, and that made Katsuki feel lightheaded.

A door shutting quietly, followed by careful footsteps to a room a few doors away from Katsuki’s snapped him out of it.

They were back. 

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed, and he was all too eager to grab it.

Deku: it wasn’t a date. Todoroki asked me to come with him to the mall, it wasn’t anything more than that

Katsuki nearly blasted him for replying so late, but he ignored it for now.

Katsuki: he sure seemed a little handsy for something that apparently wasn’t a date

Izuku stared at the message for a few seconds, puzzled, trying to think back at what Katsuki might have seen. Maybe Todoroki’s too-close leans, or the hand that had traveled to the small of his back? 

Izuku: we just went out as friends, it wasn’t a big deal

Kacchan: whatever

Izuku swallowed, eyes lingering on the message for a few moments before he turned his phone off, setting it down on his nightstand and rolling over on his bed.

He wished Kacchan fought more. Not yelling and screaming and exploding the entire building, but fought for him. There was a part of him that longed for Katsuki to fully let everyone know that Izuku was wanted, and that he wanted him.

Izuku sucked in a breath, and focused on the wall in front of him to keep from crying.

Chapter Text

When Katsuki was angry, it was like the entire world faded around him, and all he could see was a tunnel of red.

He balled his hands into tight fists, boots so heavy on the training ground concrete that the asphalt felt as though it were cracking with every step he took. His muscles were tensed, face scrunched up under his ash-covered mask, and everything around him disappeared as he headed straight toward Izuku.

Fucking Izuku. 

The annoying little shit got in his way as he was just about to crush a robot under his fingers, Deku whizzing by with a crackle of blue-green lightning behind him before the mechanical sound of metal scraping against itself accompanied the robot collapsing in a heap on the ground.

“Deku!” Katsuki screamed, jumping back down to the ground as the sparks in his palms subsided. “I thought I told you not to get in my fucking way!”

Izuku turned halfway and was confronted with Katsuki barreling toward him, shoulders hunched and mouth curled inwards in a scowl. Izuku was used to that look, so accustomed to the expression Katsuki had on his face that it didn’t even frighten him anymore. When he was in middle school it utterly terrified him, paralyzed him where he stood and made him tremble in his loose uniform. He knew it would be followed by some unoriginal insult with a firm punch to the arm or wherever Katsuki decided to place his hand that day, but that wasn’t what scared him.

The intimidation, how his irises looked like drops of blood bubbling from a needle, the fact that Katsuki had an aura that charred everything around him yet made Izuku go cold, was what scared him. 

Now, it didn’t even phase him. He’d long since overpowered the instinct to go cold and stand still like he used to, trading that in for trying his best to calm Katsuki down, usually to no avail. Izuku had grown much more confident not only with himself but also with and against Katsuki, enough so to quip a reply.

“Next one’s yours, Kacchan!” He responded back, readying himself to go after his next target, readjusting his gloves and sparking back Full Cowling as Katsuki stopped in front of him.

“I had that one, you fuck!” Katsuki grew louder, voice vibrating off the walls like tightly coiled springs.

“Would you please stop yelling? Have a normal fucking conversation for once!”

Katsuki saw nothing but crimson. He quickly extended out his arms and shoved Izuku back, making him lose his footing. “Don’t you talk to me like that, you shit nerd!” His face was mere inches away from Izuku’s, so close that Izuku could see the small strands of hair that were stuck to his forehead. Izuku sucked in a quick breath as his back hit the dilapidated brick behind him. 

It’d been a while since they’d had a fight like this.

Not the casual bickering they always did, but a full on argument where Izuku was getting screamed at and he was trying and failing at getting Katsuki to calm the hell down. Izuku couldn’t even think of the last time it had come to something like this. Yet here he was, pinned against a wall as Katsuki’s hands warmed around his uniform. 

The trill of the training bell made Katsuki soften, just slightly, his grip still tight on Deku’s chest as he slowly backed away. He huffed out a breath, letting his hand drop and his muscles relax. “Next time, stay out of my way.”

Izuku fell back to the ground, quickly brushing off his shoulders as he refound his footing and followed Katsuki toward the locker room. He stayed quiet.

He knew what this argument meant. 

Izuku splintered off from Katsuki, catching up with Iida and Todoroki, making small talk as they filed into the locker room. Todoroki wedged himself between Iida quickly, walking beside Izuku and making small talk.

“Training went on a little longer than it usually does.”

Iida chimed in quickly. “I’m sure only to let us harness and utilize our quirks for a longer period of time.” He said matter-of-factly, taking his helmet off and tucking it under his arm.

Izuku and Todoroki sunk into their own little corner, their voices lowered to barely above a whisper as they undressed. “Was wondering if you wanted to go back to the mall again sometime.” 

Todoroki avoided Izuku’s face, and the tone of his voice gave Izuku a funny feeling. 

It wasn’t one of nervousness, or fear, it just sat heavily in his chest and made him feel off. Like the feeling one gets the night before something substantial, like a vacation or field trip, but without the giddy excitement. It felt like his heart was in his throat, and that anticipation was replaced with a thin veil of dread. 

“Sure, yeah.” He answered after a moment, and he noticed Todoroki’s shoulders relax.

“Alright, maybe grab something to eat? Or some tea?” 

Izuku nodded. “Sounds good!”

Todoroki tried to hide his growing smile as he stripped. “It’s a date, then.”

There it was. That thing that Izuku was anticipating, the one that was slowly filling him with dread despite not having a clue what it was. His chest tightened, and for a half second, it felt hard to breathe. 

Date? Oh, god. So Kacchan was right. 

He couldn’t even mutter an “alright” before Todoroki had slipped past him on his way to the showers, leaving Izuku to undress alone with his thoughts. 

So he was going on a date. A nice one, with Todoroki. They were going to drink tea and eat something and talk about anything and nothing at all, and it sounded… nice. Maybe Todoroki would ask him out on a second date, and a third, and whatever came after that.

Izuku wanted what came after that. He wanted someone to hold his hand and run their finger over his knuckles as they gently squeezed, he wanted someone to gently brush his hair out of his face with their hands. He wanted every cheesy thing couples did. He imagined it, just for a moment, with him and Todoroki, and it was nice .

He imagined it, just for a moment, before Todoroki’s face faded into Kacchan’s. 

That pit of dread returned, and all he could do as he made his way to his shower was to try and keep the anxiety from crawling its way into his chest and eating away at him. It was an inky black cloud that surrounded him from all sides, seeping into his veins and freezing him from the inside out. He thought and overthought, about the fantasy he had just conjured and about everything that came after it. 

Todoroki’s face faded into Katsuki’s so naturally that Izuku didn’t even react at first. It was only after the delicate smile and the red and white had dissipated into a half smirk and pale yellow blonde that Izuku realized what was happening, and allowed the dread to grow in him once again. 

The water from the shower he didn’t even realize he was turning on jolted him out of his head, planting him back in the locker room and shaking him out of the little fantasy that he had conjured. 

He stood under the stream for a few seconds, letting the water transition from cold to warm as it ran down his back in quick beads, soaking his hair and making it stick to his face. Izuku slicked back the pieces that fell into his eyes, squeezing them shut as the water fell from his forehead before he wicked it away, opening them and staring across at whatever he could focus on.

White tile wall, damp with water and slight grime, and Kacchan.

Kacchan. 

Katsuki was just turning around from shutting his own shower off, stepping to the side and grabbing his towel to wring the water out of his hair. He was quiet, and peculiarly serene; the same face that was twisted in a scowl hovering above Izuku’s twenty minutes before was now oddly soft. His face rounded, and everything about him became rather… pretty. 

Katsuki’s eyes darted up to Izuku’s, and he straightened where he stood, taking his towel and draping it around his waist as he rounded the corner back to his locker, never breaking eye contact with him. 

Izuku stopped breathing for the ten seconds it took Katsuki to leave the showers, and even after their gazes broke, he was left trying not to tremble as he sucked in his quiet gasps.

He knew what this argument meant. 

Izuku turned around to twist the faucet off, the water ceasing all too suddenly as he reached for his towel in a desperate attempt to conserve his warmth. He wrapped it around his shoulders, shivering as he waddled to his locker. 

Katsuki walked past him as his locker door creaked open, lightly brushing his shoulder before he continued on toward his next class. 

Izuku stared at the inside of his locker as his entire body flushed.

The wall beside Katsuki's door was a place Izuku was well acquainted with. 

It was smooth, the eggshell paint still fresh and pristine on the drywall, minus a few scuffs and scrapes from moving furniture around. It was slightly chilly, and when Izuku was pressed against it without a shirt on, the coldness made his skin prickly with goosebumps. 

A corkboard with a menagerie of photographs and various other mementos hung on the wall across from the one Izuku was being held against, haphazardly pinned up with thumbtacks and tape. Pictures of him and his friends; Ashido, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero all widely smiling around him in the middle. His UA acceptance letter, slightly crinkled and bent. An old photograph of Katsuki and his mother with Inko and Izuku, the corner slightly frayed. They couldn’t have been older than five, standing at the beach in All Might swimming trunks as the sand lapped at their feet, toothy smiles making their eyes squint. 

Izuku stared across at the corkboard before Katsuki pulled him off of the wall and pushed him back toward his bed, his attention now back on Katsuki, who stood above him as he sat up on his elbows. 

Katsuki dove his fingers toward his pants, fingers hastily unbuckling his belt as he shoved his jeans down, kicking them off of his ankles as he crawled onto the mattress. 

When Katsuki was fucking Izuku, the entire world faded around him, and all he could see was Deku. 

Katsuki pulled Izuku’s hips up toward his, opening his legs and leaning down to his ear as his hands dipped down toward Izuku’s own pants. 

“If this doesn’t teach you to stay out of my way during training, I don’t know what will.” 

The phrase was barely audible, but Katsuki delivered it in a low growl; a voice reserved only for Izuku. He shuddered as Katsuki’s lips brushed against the top of his ear, drifting down toward his neck. 

Katsuki ripped his lips away from him all too early, forcing a whimper past his lips as he was harshly flipped over. Izuku’s face was being pressed to the pillow faster than he could process, Katsuki ripping his pants down as he delivered a quick smack to his ass.

The raw frustration was reminiscent of their first time doing something like this. If Katsuki remembered correctly, it was after a day’s worth of typical Deku annoyances that culminated into Katsuki pulling him by the wrist into his bedroom and fucking him until he saw white.

It continued after screaming matches proceeding paired training exercises or their joint frustration with one another during the week. It became an unspoken rule, and eventually Katsuki didn’t even need to drag Izuku to his room, he just came on his own.

They didn’t even have to be frustrated with one another anymore. If they were in the mood, or really, really wanted it, they’d fuck. Neither of them cared that it went against the original agreement; they both wanted it, wanted each other, so why should they care if it bent a few rules? 

Izuku whimpered again, muffled by the pillow under his cheek as Katsuki’s palm smacked his ass again. “Gonna take it all, huh Deku?” 

Izuku could sense Katsuki moving away from him, probably to quickly grab the little bottle of lube from his nightstand. “Y-Yes,” he stuttered, dipping his back down, lifting up his ass and burying his face into his arms.

Katsuki returned a few seconds later, the plasticy sound of a bottle hinging open following soon after. “I couldn’t hear you.” He squeezed a 100 yen-size amount of lube onto his fingers, rubbing it between his middle finger and thumb before he pressed the pad of his middle finger to Izuku’s rim. “Can you repeat that?”

Izuku pushed back against his finger, quivering as his back arched even farther. “Yes,” he croaked out, slightly louder than his stuttering from before. “Yes, I’ll take it all.”

Katsuki moved his free hand to the back of Izuku’s head, curling his fingers in his hair and yanking him up as his middle finger slipped inside of him. “You better.”

A high pitched, breathy whimper came from Izuku as Katsuki tightened his grip on the base of his hair, his hips grinding down desperately as he was sat up. 

He trembled at Katsuki’s voice, the low assertiveness that felt like burning hot caramel that scalded him but tasted oh so good at the same time. He could feel the frustration radiating off of Katsuki as he worked his finger into him, slowly prying him open as he added a second one seamlessly. He choked on a breath, leaning back so he could lay on Katsuki’s chest, before he was being pressed back down into the mattress.

“You’re openin’ up so well for me,” Katsuki slowly spread his fingers apart, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from moaning at the sight. 

Deku coming undone for him, watching him suck his fingers in and clench around him so desperately was something Katsuki would never get tired of. The image was enough to keep him going for weeks, visualizing it as he stroked his cock in the shower or late at night in bed. Deku, on his hands and knees, ass up and clenching around him, only him.

Katsuki cocked a corner of his mouth up, slowing the pace of his fingers. “You look just about ready for me,” his voice was even quieter, and by the way Deku was shaking, he could tell he’d noticed. “Yeah?”

Izuku couldn’t take it anymore. He shifted on the mattress, squirming to get so much as a brush of friction, just to feel anything . “Please,” his voice was cracked and broken, falling out in desperate pieces as he laid his cheek on the back of his hand. “I need you, please.”

The sentence went straight to Katsuki’s cock, and he was grateful for the fact that Deku was turned around so he wouldn’t see the deep flush forming on his cheeks. He fumbled with the lube as he spread more out on his hands, stroking himself before he pressed the tip to Deku’s rim. He pushed inside, bringing his hand up and sinking his teeth into the side of his thumb to keep from moaning too loudly. 

“Sucking me in so nicely,” he hissed through his teeth, eyes pointed down to the curve of Deku’s spine. Katsuki stayed there, just for a minute, staring at the perfect dip in Deku’s back, drifting down to his parted thighs and his own cock sinking inside of him. 

He throbbed. 

Katsuki continued, burying himself until their hips were flush together and there was no room to spare. He let his hand drop as his head lolled back. 

Izuku mewled under him, muffled by his hands and the pillow he was gripping. 

No matter how many times they’d do this, Izuku always had to get used to the feeling of being full. The initial stretch, the push of Katsuki’s cock, the way he’d tighten around him once he was fully sheathed inside. He relished in the feeling for as long as he could, because he knew once Katsuki withdrew, he’d be clenching on nothing in a feeble attempt to remember it.

A hard slap followed by a few sparks of yellow and orange was delivered down onto him, making him yelp out before Katsuki moved. 

“Ass swallows up my cock so good,” Katsuki huffed between thrusts, hips lightly smacking against Deku’s as his pace quickened, “I’m not gonna slow down. Know that.”

Izuku moaned into the pillow in response, and all Katsuki could do was grin.

Katsuki held his hands on both sides of Izuku’s hips, spanking his ass with every few strokes, loving how red and raw the skin under his palms were turning. He groaned through his teeth once he picked up the pace, thrusts met with Izuku clenching around him and nearly making him cum on the spot. Deku gripped his cock so perfectly, hole squeezing around his base and tightening with every harsh thrust. It stroked his ego like nothing else could.

He took out all of his frustration on Izuku. Every time his hips met Deku’s, he was fucking out the frustration from earlier, fucking out the frustration with Todoroki and his stupid laugh and his hand on Deku’s shoulder.

Katsuki went harder without even meaning to, and only realized when he heard Izuku letting out a string of moans every time he slammed back inside of him. He dug his fingers into Deku’s sides, tightening his jaw as his hands made Deku’s ass meet his thrusts. 

Katsuki wanted to ruin him. He wanted to ruin him so no one else would be able to have him like this, no one else but him. Katsuki wanted to be the only one Deku moaned for and lifted his ass for and clenched around for and begged for. 

Without warning, Katsuki’s thrusts faltered, warmth spreading in his middle rapidly as he spilled himself inside of him, fingers gripping his waist as he stifled a groan. 

He was too busy focusing on the anger and the frustration and Deku’s hole squeezing him so tight to realize his own release was so close. He panted, blinking away his haze before he moved, pulling himself out of Deku and letting him go. 

Izuku slumped down onto the bed, his shoulders bending down as his body finally relaxed. He still whimpered, cock leaking between his legs as a thick string of cum dampened the sheets under it. His hips were still up, hole clenching on nothing like it always did after Katsuki left him. 

Slowly, almost involuntarily, Izuku sneaked his hand around his back, curling up and spreading himself open as he continued to tighten. He breathed heavily, sucking in his bottom lip as he felt the warmth begin to drip from his hole. 

Katsuki, from behind him as he tried to come down from his own high, couldn’t look away. 

Chapter Text

Izuku didn’t realize how difficult getting ready for a date was. 

He found himself fussing about every last little thing; should he look casual or dress up a little bit? Did his shoes stand out too much with the rest of what he was wearing? What was Todoroki wearing? Granted, it was just the mall, but what if Todoroki…

He smoothed down his shirt, creasing out any crinkles in it from being in his dresser drawer for so long. He tucked it into the waistband of his shorts, letting the hem puff over his belt. 

He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed before he pulled the shirt back out.

How the hell did the people in movies and books do this so casually?!

Izuku glanced behind at his alarm clock and hastily dragged a brush through his hair before he sprinted out of his dorm, stumbling over the sneakers he’d forgotten to tie in his mad rush in trying to get his outfit perfect. 

He spun down the hall, shoulder knocking into someone as he blinked, issuing a quick “sorry!” as he continued on his way out of the dorms. 

It didn’t even hit Izuku that the person he’d crashed into was Katsuki until he was extending an arm out to open the dorm building door. He hesitated, a wave of something sickly washing over him as he continued forward toward Todoroki, who he could see just beyond the glass of the door his fingers were curling around. 

He didn’t want to be questioned. He didn’t want him to find out, hoped that Katsuki would brush it off and leave it be. His phone sat heavy in the right pocket of his shorts, but no vibration ever came. 

Izuku exhaled, and pulled the door open. No message, at least for now, which meant that Katsuki probably rolled his eyes and continued on his way. At least, that’s what he hoped.

Todoroki whipped his head around once Izuku opened the door, pushing himself off of the wall and offering a smile to him. 

Izuku noticed the smile, how it was wider than what Todoroki usually gave but was still subdued, like he was fighting from allowing it to take over his entire face. 

“You look nice,” Todoroki commented, head dipping down and up before his face was back on Izuku’s.

It was subtle, purposely done to be barely noticeable, but that little examination made Izuku’s throat constrict. He followed Todoroki’s eyes through the quick flicker, the glimmer in them only slightly fading after they were back on his face. 

Izuku stiffened his shoulders, and blushed. He looked nice? He overthought how he looked today a dozen times over, and now Todoroki was saying he looked nice? 

Todoroki chuckled, grinning to himself as he watched Izuku internalize his compliment as they walked. “You always look so cute when you’re red.” 

Izuku was convinced Todoroki was trying to kill him. “Thanks,” his voice came out pitchy, and he slapped his hands to his face. “I’m sorry.” His voice was muffled by his palms as he laughed, peeking through his fingers and chuckling to ease the awkwardness.

Through his hands, he could see Todoroki’s smile take over his entire face. 

Katsuki was nothing more than confused and slightly irritated as Deku’s shoulder dug into him as he sped by. 

“What the hell-“

“Sorry!”

He was up from stumbling and back to darting down the hall, not giving so much as a mere acknowledgement to Katsuki’s presence as he rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight completely. 

Where the hell is he off to? He thought to himself, still peering over his shoulder as Deku’s footsteps grew quieter. 

Katsuki narrowed his eyes before shrugging and continued on toward his dorm, the fresh orange he had just peeled in the kitchen growing sticky in his hands. He popped one of the wedges into his mouth, shutting his door behind him.

Was he late to meeting his friends or something? He looked a little too nice to be going out somewhere casually with them, but—

Katsuki nearly dropped the orange. It couldn't be, Deku would’ve let it slip by now if it was that. Surely he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut if he and Icy Hot were doing that. 

Why else would he look so nice, though? It wasn’t an outfit one would wear to a five-star restaurant, but it also wasn’t one someone like him would wear on a laid back outing with friends. 

Deku and Todoroki were going out again. On a date. Or at least he figured that’s what they were doing, because what else would it be? 

Katsuki set his jaw and slumped down on his bed, staring up at the greying off-white paint on his ceiling through firm eyebrows. 

Katsuki knew it was a fever dream to think that Izuku would view him as anything more than what they were late at night. He’d tormented him for years, made his life a living hell and had only now begun to make amends. 

Katsuki knew it was selfish to want Izuku to view him as something more, but he wanted to be selfish. 

Izuku noticed that his heart sat lightly in his chest as he sat across from Todoroki sipping his matcha. It was a familiar feeling, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on how.

His entire being felt light when he was with Todoroki like this. It was like they were in a bubble, where everything and everyone disappeared and they were the only two people in the world. Like they were the only two people in the world that mattered.

Izuku felt like he was in middle school, fawning over a crush and floating on air as they walked past him. 

From across the table, Todoroki reached out and grabbed his hand. “You okay?” He asked, tilting his head and rubbing his thumb over Izuku’s knuckles. 

His hand was soft, the flesh warm from his left side. It wasn’t burning, but was a comforting warmth, like sinking into a bath after being out in the snow. His knuckles were a few shades darker than his skin, flushed a soft pink as it blended in with the rest of his tone.

Izuku didn’t even realize his eyes had glazed over until Todoroki’s hand touched his, and he had to hold back from jumping. “Yeah, yeah!” He smiled quickly, a speedy little flash just to lift his cheeks, his fingers squeezing Todoroki’s gently.

His hands were different than Kacchan’s. Kacchan’s were tough and calloused from his quirk, often roughly dragging down Izuku’s sides and grabbing at his hips. But they were still soft to the touch despite their usage, lined with a few shallow scars and thin raised veins. They were soft enough for Izuku to writhe under, but also for him to want them placed on his cheeks delicately as they leaned in to kiss. 

Todoroki nodded and lifted his cup to his lips, taking a sip and keeping his eyes on Izuku before he spoke. “I’ve had a really good time,” he sat his cup back down on the table, his hand retreating back slowly. “Maybe we could do it again?”

They spent their date wandering around the mall, not unlike the last time they were there. Except now Todoroki was a lot less subtle in his leanings, he wouldn’t dip in quickly and leave just as fast. He lingered, letting their shoulders touch as he took Izuku’s hand and allowed their fingers to entwine. 

Izuku was surprised at how flirtatious Todoroki could be, though he wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not. Regardless, Todoroki’s wandering eyes and the suggestiveness of his smirks were enough to fully fluster him, much to the embarrassment of Izuku’s reddening face. Izuku wasn’t used to someone coming onto him like that.

At least not in that way. 

“That’d be nice, yeah,” Izuku answered, watching Todoroki relax and allow his smile to grow again.

Todoroki’s smile, not when it was quick and half forced, took over his entire face. It engulfed him, cheeks stretching up and glowing a dull pink, eyes crinkling as his lips were turned upwards. It was nothing short of radiant, and Izuku felt lucky to be able to see it even if it was so much for a fraction of a second.

“Glad you feel the same.”

Izuku managed his own smile, but his chest grew heavy, if only for a moment. 

Izuku felt the same. He wanted to go on a second date, and he wanted to be with Todoroki and he wanted to see his smile and feel the warmth of his hands. But he wasn’t sure if he wanted to date Todoroki— wanted Todoroki—or if he was feeling this because he subconsciously imagined Todoroki as Kacchan. That internal conflict beat away at him, but deep down he knew that what he felt for Todoroki was nothing compared to Kacchan.

If Todoroki was warmth, then Kacchan was a raging inferno. 

Izuku trudged his way to his dorm after the elevator doors parted, the electric buzz from being with Todoroki for so long still vibrating within him. It was a mix of excitement and longing, with a hint of anxiety sprinkled in.

He closed the door to his dorm, finally able to exhale in privacy as he fell face first into his mattress, his tricolor duvet cool to the touch, soothing his flushed face, which had been hot all day.

Dates, he decided, exhausted him. Yes, it was nice, and yes, he had a spectacular time with Todoroki, but the pressure of being perfect and worrying if his face was too red or if a piece of his hair was out of place left him utterly drained.

His phone buzzed once he’d gotten himself comfortable. 

Todoroki: Thanks for going out with me. Maybe next time we can go somewhere more formal? Or you can pick!

He heavily lifted his head up off of the bed, groaning as he slid his phone closer to him so he could read the message. The brightness of the screen made him slightly cringe in the semi-darkness of his room, but he adjusted quickly. 

Izuku’s heart leapt into his throat once he saw who it was from. He read it, and read it again, rereading it over and over and trying to come up with a proper response. 

Somewhere more formal? He thought to himself, pulling his bottom lip out with his fingers as he pondered. Like a fancy restaurant? He almost laughed to himself at the idea. He wouldn’t even know how to act on a date like that. 

Though he figured maybe it would be quite nice. Just the two of them, a dimly lit table in the corner where they could sit close to each other. Quiet conversations outlined by four courses paid for by none other than Todoroki’s dear old dad, surely. 

His body went rigid the moment he thought about Kacchan. 

Izuku tried desperately to talk himself out of feeling guilty. He and Katsuki’s situation was a temporary one, there was nothing saying either of them could find someone and move on from one another, never talking or touching or thinking about each other ever again. There wasn’t even anything to move on from; they weren’t in a relationship, what they had was surface level fucking, no feelings, no ties. They could drop each other at any time.

What he and Katsuki had was finite, no matter how much Izuku wanted it not to be. 

It didn’t matter what Izuku wanted. They were impermanent, nothing more than an experiment that went on for longer than they both thought it would.

Izuku ignored the ache in his chest as he typed a response. He knew it would go away. Eventually. 

Izuku: Somewhere more formal sounds great! You’re probably better at this type of stuff than I am, so why don’t you pick?

His thumb hovered over the send button, and just as he hit it, a banner at the top of his phone buzzed in a new message.

Kacchan: How’d the date go

Izuku read it, then read it again, before it recoiled back upwards, disappearing and turning into a little 1 at the left of his screen. He slid out of his conversation with Todoroki, pressing into Katsuki’s. 

He couldn’t lie to him. It wasn’t like last time, where he could just say that it wasn’t a date, that he didn’t mean it that way and that there was nothing between them. 

Izuku: Good, thanks for asking

From across the hall, Katsuki scowled down at his screen. He wasn’t really expecting an answer, let alone one like that. 

Was Deku doing it on purpose? Teasing him to get him riled up and jealous, so he could take it out on him the next time they met? 

Katsuki hated to admit that it was working, and all too effectively. 

He pursed his lips tightly, and his fingers typed a swift reply. 

Katsuki: So you two dating now or what

Deku: Don’t know yet. Haven’t asked

That was accurate, at least. Izuku didn’t view one date as dating, and he was honestly waiting for Todoroki to make that move, if he was ever going to. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions if Todoroki didn’t feel the same way.

Izuku drummed his ankle on his bed as he stared at the three little dots under his last message, growing impatient as the seconds passed. 

Kacchan: Are you going on a second date?

Watching those dots be replaced with a new message signaled Izuku to let out the breath he’d been involuntarily holding. 

Deku: Yeah

Katsuki had to close his eyes for a second to keep himself together. Damn it. 

Kacchan: Good luck

At the same time of Kacchan’s new message, Todoroki replied to Izuku’s last one.

Todoroki: I have somewhere in mind

He read both messages before he moved his thumb to the side of his phone, pressing into it and letting his phone fade to black as he dropped it down to his bed. He stuffed his face back into the duvet, and groaned to himself.

Izuku couldn’t decide whether the ache or the excitement felt better.

Chapter Text

Katsuki didn’t need Deku to confirm with him that he and Todoroki were more than friends. 

Frankly, he didn’t care if they weren’t properly “dating” yet, because they were something, and Katsuki didn’t have to be told what it was.

He didn’t want to be told what it was. 

Their interlocked pinkies and smirking glances told him enough. A verbal acknowledgement would only twist the dagger more.

They were so subtle about it, yet Katsuki was left rolling his eyes on the common room sofa as they rubbed elbows and quietly played footsie with each other.

Their antics would be barely noticed by anyone else, but to Katsuki it stood out like blood seeping through a wet shirt; irritating, painful, and clinging to him no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. 

And god, did he try to ignore it. Tried to drown himself in a conversation with Sero, half paying attention to the television as he talked about something he hardly remembered now. Sero was talking about something with Kaminari or whatnot, he only caught the last quarter of it. 

He tried so hard to ignore it, but his eyes always wandered back to Deku, and he had to be painfully reminded every time. 

Izuku was grinning to himself, back sunk deep into the couch as he playfully nudged Todoroki’s foot with the side of his own. He could feel Todoroki lean into him even more, pushing back against his foot as they giggled under their breaths.

They’d been on three more dates since the mall, and each one was better than the last. 

It seemed like he and Todoroki were connected at the hip ever since. They sat closer at lunch, holding hands under the table and trying to fight off their blush when their fingers squeezed. It was still all so new, the butterflies hadn’t had time to settle, but Izuku didn’t care. He’d stay in the feeling forever if he could.

Todoroki dragged his foot up Izuku’s ankle slowly, pulling the hem of his pants up so they rode up his calf. He lingered there for a moment, before he dropped his foot back down to the table.

They both turned their gazes toward each other, Todoroki curling the corner of his mouth up in a quick flicker. Izuku had to look away. 

He let his shoulder brush Todoroki’s as he watched him from the corner of his vision, still smirking, pressing his foot back to the side of Izuku’s, lightly touching it.

The last time Izuku felt something like that, he was laid down in Katsuki’s bed, after Todoroki had set his hand on his thigh during their one-on-one study session. 

Izuku wondered if Katsuki looked like Todoroki that night as he traced his calf with his foot. He didn’t have the privilege of being able to see Katsuki’s face, all he could see through the black was the wall in front of him. 

He wondered if Katsuki’s lips curled into a slight smile, a spark of darkness seeping across his face as he moved up to his thigh.

No, Katsuki’s was different. Todoroki’s was suggestive, pulling his sweatpants up his calf as his face was taken over by a smirk that said nothing less than are you enjoying me touching you as much as I am?

Katsuki’s was surprisingly soft, the graze dotting up Izuku’s leg as he moved. It left Izuku breathless for the sole reason that he couldn’t see Katsuki’s face, because if he did, he was certain that he wouldn’t have been able to look away. The rare show of gentleness was enough, but seeing the face that accompanied it would’ve been too much. 

Katsuki noticed the time on the digital clock of the television cable box, the sequence of numbers prompting him to stand up and roll his eyes at Sero’s teasing. 

“C’mon Bakugou, stay up a little later for once!”

“In your dreams, tape arms. I’ve had enough of your droning voice.”

Sero clicked his tongue and rolled his own eyes, sitting back on the couch as Katsuki stood up. “Alright, whatever man. Enjoy missing out on all the fun.”

Katsuki turned to walk to the elevators, passing Deku and Todoroki on his way, keeping his eyes down on the floor. “Tch, what fun?”

Izuku glanced up at him, stopping himself before he had the chance to make eye contact, looking up at the clock briefly. 

8:53. He could go to bed in a half an hour without seeming like he was following Katsuki to his room. It was enough time to not look suspicious, he could sneak into Katsuki’s dorm without anyone raising any questions as to why he decided to head to bed so quickly after Katsuki did. 

9:23. That was the magic time where he could excuse himself, saying goodnight only to be inside of Katsuki’s dorm by 9:30. 

The elevator doors parted for Katsuki, and he was left alone in the hallway as he made the trip down to his dorm. It was one he’d taken hundreds of times, at this point he could make it with his eyes closed. 

His room was a welcome sanctuary, a place where no one was looking at him and he didn’t have to worry about wandering eyes that could see his every move. It was just him, and him only. 

Sometimes.

Katsuki sat down on his bed, reaching over and clicking his bedside lamp on as he reached into his pocket to take his phone out. He clicked it open, punching in his password and swiping to his messages. 

For a short second, he contemplated texting Deku to tell him to come to his room, but he decided against it. Deku was sitting next to Todoroki, if he saw the message he’d surely be suspicious, and that was the last thing Katsuki wanted right now.

He turned his phone off, throwing it onto his chest as he laid on his pillows, one arm tucked under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. 

What would being on his phone do, distract him? It would only temporarily divert his attention from Todoroki and Deku on that couch, their stupid little giggles and shoulder touches rubbing in his face and slowly infuriating him. 

Katsuki didn’t realize how much he craved Izuku until Todoroki had his hands all over him. 

He hated to admit it, but it was true; every touch and wandering gaze Todoroki gave that Katsuki knew left Izuku blushing and breathless only made him want Deku more. It made him want to march over to that half-and-half fucker and tell him all about how pretty Deku looked as he arched his back under him and moaned his name. 

A knock on his door made his brows furl, an annoyed groan curling out of his chest as he sat up from his bed.

The door quietly opened. “Kacchan?”

Katsuki’s brows flattened. Wasn’t it a little early…? He checked his phone quickly. 9:25. Shit. Had he really been in his dorm for that long? 

He stood up from the mattress, tossing his phone down onto it. “Deku,” he kept his own voice low, the door clicking behind Izuku as he grew closer to him. 

Deku seldom ever came to his room on his own volition. Normally he required some sort of invitation, a text, or a look, that told him that it was okay if he came to Katsuki, that Katsuki wanted him to come. This was completely unprompted, all Deku’s doing. 

Katsuki wrapped his arms around Izuku’s waist, pulling him toward him as he stuffed his face into the crook of his neck, lips already attached to his skin before Deku had the chance to ask or say anything else. 

And he didn’t even have to ask. Izuku’s hands reached up Katsuki’s shoulders, grabbing at his shirt as he tilted himself into his touch. “Kacchan,”

It was breathy and desperate, topped off by a gasp and his fingers working their way to the nape of Katsuki’s neck. 

Katsuki closed his eyes as his lips dragged down Izuku’s jaw, and he inhaled, slowly. 

It was summer. 

The air was dense and humid but smelled like damp soil and pinky promises and laughter at the same time, and the evening was theirs for the taking.

Katsuki was running down the street as the sun was setting, heading straight for Deku’s house, a few sparks erupting from his palms from his newly developed quirk.

Deku was quirkless and cried too much, but all of the neighborhood kids sucked except for him, and Katsuki still enjoyed spending time with him despite it. Deku was the only one who didn’t see him as dangerous because of his quirk, and didn't recoil when he opened his hands to touch him. Deku was quirkless and cried too much, but he was still his best friend. 

Katsuki rapped his knuckles on the door, jumping in place impatiently before Inko opened it and smiled so wide that the corners of her eyes crinkled. 

He excitedly begged her to let Deku come out with him, hopping from one foot to another as he pouted and stared up at her through his hair. “Please, Auntie, there’s so many fireflies down by the creek,” he explained through huffed breaths, “please, can you let him go?”

Inko smiled and sighed, nodding quickly and turning inwards to tell Izuku that Katsuki was at the front door, to which a smudge of bright green came bounding out of the living room and slipping under her arm. 

He pulled on his sneakers, turning around and offering a “bye, mom!” as he bounced away from the door, following Katsuki as they raced down the asphalt. 

“Bye, Auntie!” Katsuki gave in return, waving goodbye behind him as Inko pleaded with them to be careful. 

They ran side by side, Izuku’s pace interrupted by loose shoelaces as they passed through the trees on their way to the stream. Katsuki kicked his own shoes off, slamming himself down in the grass as he ripped off his socks and stuffed them into the mouth of his shoe. 

Izuku followed suit, setting them next to Katsuki’s as he followed him down the little ravine, sliding down the sides before he was ankle-deep in the water. 

Katsuki rolled up the edge of his shorts, pushing his legs in the water as it parted for him, skirting around his ankles as he climbed onto the rocks to get a better look at the blooming fireflies illuminating the tips of the tall grass at the outskirts of the stream. 

“See! I told you they were there!” Katsuki boasted as Izuku waded beside him, the sun dipping down below the skyline and giving way to the warm glow of the fireflies flittering above the water. 

Izuku’s mouth was upturned into the widest smile Katsuki had ever seen, and he was so enamored by it, he forgot all about the fireflies. 

He looked beautiful, the edges of his hair haloed by the setting sun, the rays of burnt orange catching on the sides of his round cheeks.

“They’re so pretty, Kacchan!” Izuku gasped happily, standing next to him and reaching out to grab one, capturing it between his palms and giggling as it crawled over his hands, its luminescence leaking between his fingers. 

The sky had turned a pinkish-orange in the wake of the sun’s rapid disappearance, color scattering across the clouds.

Katsuki watched Izuku open his hands to allow the firefly to flutter out, lingering around him before it flew off as Izuku giggled. 

They kept count of how many fireflies each of them caught, competing with each other as it grew darker, the pastel cotton candy being replaced with a dark indigo above them. 

The water they trampled through turned an inky black with the onset of night, mirroring back the yellow light of the fireflies and the pale blue-white of the moon overhead, shimmering like glass under their footsteps. 

Katsuki caught the most fireflies by a landslide, gloating as Izuku’s cheeks stretched so wide that it hurt. Izuku was easily distracted, chasing frogs or bending down to grab pretty looking stones out of the water before he skipped them against the surface. He didn’t care if Kacchan won, as long as he was with him. His freckles popped under his eyes as his smile grew, the color in them turned electric by the light of the moon on the water. 

He noticed that in the moonlight, Deku looked blue. His green hair cast a navy shadow onto his forehead, and the color dissipated across his face, blending with his skin tone and giving him a light cerulean tint. 

When Izuku smiled, he looked as gentle as sunlight. 

A deep twang resounded in Katsuki’s chest as he looked at him, the fireflies hovering above their heads as he turned and started to sprint out of the water. 

“Race you back home!”

Izuku laughed. “No fair!” He squeaked, trying to catch up with Katsuki from his head start. The water was disturbed from their running, wide ripples raking through it, creating stripes out of the reflections of the moon and the trees and them.

Katsuki climbed up the edge of the creek, muddying his feet as he grabbed his sneakers and ran, laughing at Deku trudging up behind him. 

He slowed to let Deku catch up to him, he didn’t want to be alone running home. He could hear his giggles from behind him, the beat of his run growing closer and closer. 

Katsuki ran side by side with Deku once he caught up, their damp footprints leaving a trail from the creek up the street from where they came. Water dripped from their legs and the hems of their now-soaked shorts, which they had long since forgotten about. 

Katsuki stopped at Deku’s house, panting quietly as he and Deku tried to catch their breaths before their goodbyes. Deku reached out and hugged him tightly, pulling away just as fast and flashing him another smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kacchan!”

Katsuki stood at the curb as Deku turned around and padded back into his house.

Katsuki didn’t remember how he’d gotten Deku to the bed, but here he was, pressing him down into it as his fingers crawled their way into Deku’s pants. 

Deku whined under him, Katsuki drinking down the light moan he elicited against his lips. He hooked Deku’s legs around his waist as he got his pants down, rolling his hips against him and waiting for him to squirm under his touch. 

Katsuki tried to memorize everything Deku did. From his panting as he pulled away from their kiss, gulping down breaths from his raw and pink parted lips, to how his hips angled up into Katsuki’s, meeting his rhythm and making his thighs stutter. 

He tried to take in all of it, because he knew this would be the last time. 

Katsuki undressed as rapidly as he could, wasting no time in grabbing the lube on his nightstand and smearing it on two fingers, already parting Izuku’s legs to press them to his rim. 

Izuku draped an arm over his face as they pushed inside of him, his back arching off the bed as he ground himself against Katsuki’s fingers. He groaned against the back of his hand, bending his knees as he lifted his legs up. 

Katsuki didn’t even realize Izuku was covering his face until his fingers were knuckle deep inside him, and once he did, he firmly wrapped his free hand around Deku’s wrist, pinning the arm to the sheet.

Deku gasped, sitting up slightly to look down at him before his eyes fluttered shut and his head lolled back onto the pillow.

Katsuki wanted to see all of it. He kept his head fixed upwards, watching Izuku’s facial expressions as he finger fucked him, biting down on his lip as he imagined how that same face would contort once his fingers were replaced with his cock.

Katsuki wanted to watch Deku fall apart under him, only him. 

Deku grabbed at the sheets, the fabric stretching as it creased beneath his fingers. “Please,” he whispered through the veil of his whimpers, “please, Kacchan, please.”

Katsuki’s fingers went faster. “Please what, Deku?” His voice was soft, less assertive. He made it sound like he was asking a genuine question and not demanding a plea out of him. 

Izuku exhaled shakily as his back arched again. “Please, I need it.” He’d grown past a whine, and was now at the point of begging. “I need you.”  

He was begging, but it wasn’t like the other times he’d done it. This was something entirely different. When he usually begged, it had an underlying tone to it; he’d tell Katsuki that he wanted him so badly, that he needed to be fucked and taken right here right now. But this sounded different, this sounded like Deku was begging for Katsuki, not just to be fucked by him, but for him, all of him.

Katsuki figured that’s just what he wanted to hear. Deku didn’t mean it that way, no matter how much Katsuki wanted it to. 

He pulled his fingers from him, shimmying out of his boxers as he squeezed more lube into his hand, stroking himself like he usually did before he pressed himself to Deku’s hole.

There was nothing special about this time. They’d been following the same ritual: door kiss, bed kiss, fingering Deku open, stroking himself with lube before he was finally inside. It was identical to the dozens of other times they’d done this, yet Katsuki had never wanted Deku more. 

Katsuki pushed his tip inside, biting down on the side of his cheek to keep from making any noise. He kept his eyes not on his dick disappearing inside of Deku, but instead on Deku’s face, like he did when his fingers were buried in his hole just a few moments before. 

In the seconds it took for Katsuki to sink inside of him, Deku’s mouth widened in a silent gasp, eyes squeezed shut as he adjusted himself to the stretch he’d felt countless times before. He balled the duvet and the sheets in his fists, knuckles turning pale as his thighs dug into Katsuki’s sides. 

Katsuki decided that the way Deku’s face looked as he bottomed out inside him was the best thing he’d ever seen. He could live in the moment forever, staring over his twisted expression and wild green hair pooling out on the pillow.

He thrusted slowly, pulling out all the way before sinking back in, folding over Deku and setting his hands on his sides as he pressed his face into the crook of Deku’s neck. 

Katsuki enveloped himself in him, working his hips at a steady pace as he breathed heavily into Deku’s neck. He could feel fingers climbing their way up his shoulder blades, clinging to his skin and drifting down his spine. Deku’s legs wrapped tightly around Katsuki’s waist, and once he started his string of high pitched “Kacchan” s, Katsuki lost himself. 

He placed his open mouth under Deku’s ear, breathing heavier with each smack of his hips against Deku’s. 

Deku was his in this moment. He was all Katsuki’s, no one else’s, and nobody could deny it. Deku wasn’t clinging to anyone else so needily but him. 

“Deku,” it wasn’t nearly as loud as Izuku’s moans, but it was there, yearningly mumbled against Deku’s neck as Katsuki rolled his hips into him. He groaned, fingernails sinking into his hips as he mumbled a curse under his breath. 

He was close, but damn it, he didn’t want to be. He wished he could last a little longer, just to prolong the feeling of Deku’s legs hugging his sides. To prolong the feeling of Deku being his.

But Deku was squeezing oh so tightly, wrapping around him so perfectly with each movement he delivered. Katsuki knew he wouldn’t last long, because how could he? 

He pressed his forehead to Deku’s shoulder, breathing through his teeth as he chased his high, hips sputtering as he moaned.

“Izuku,”

It came out in a low groan, one that Katsuki had been holding in for a while, finally mumbling it against Deku’s neck as he spilled inside of him. His face scrunched up, the grip he had on Deku’s hips loosening as his pace slowed.

Izuku’s eyes were fixed up at the ceiling, his entire body having gone cold. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he heard his name come out of Katsuki’s lips. His real name, not an insult or Deku. They must’ve been young kids, no older than four, five at the oldest, the last time he said it.

Izuku had cum all over himself mere seconds before Katsuki did, but his orgasm was vastly overshadowed by Katsuki muttering his name against him. He went numb the second he heard it, body paralyzed and stuck in place, trying to process it as Katsuki slowly pried himself from his shoulder.

Katsuki sat up, dragging his body off of Izuku’s reluctantly. He stayed inside of him for a few more seconds, taking in that feeling so he could remember it; the heat, the tightness, the closeness of them both. 

He pulled out, and Izuku closed his legs before he could watch himself drip out. 

All of the color was drained from Izuku’s face, and he sat up, wiping his cum off of his chest with his hand as he picked up his clothes from the floor. 

“I should be getting back to my dorm.” He stated matter-of-factly, standing up and trying not to let his legs wobble. “It’s late.”

Katsuki didn’t try to contest him on it. “Yeah,” he hadn’t realized his throat had tightened, making his voice gravelly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Izuku pulled his boxers and pants on, nodding absentmindedly as he made his way to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kacchan.” 

Warmth trickled down Izuku’s thighs as he walked down the hallway toward his dorm.

Katsuki was left staring at the back of his door. His chest burned, something pricking at his eyes as he looked away, standing up to clean himself in the bathroom. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, swallowing down the constriction in his throat.

He flicked the light on, standing in front of the mirror as it reflected the marks Izuku had left behind. 

There weren’t many, not like there typically was. A few shallow half-moons on his shoulders, not even dragged down in reddening tracks. They’d surely be gone by morning, nothing left in their wake, nothing left for Katsuki to stare at and remember.

He turned out of the bathroom, flicking the light back off as he pulled himself under his duvet, hitting the same pillow Izuku was just sprawled out under.

So that was it. That was the last time Deku would ever be in his room, in his bed, in his hands. 

Katsuki’s eyes welled up again, and this time, he didn’t stop the tears from spilling.

Deku was a quiet thunderstorm. He had completely engulfed Katsuki, quietly taking over all of him as time passed, and just as Katsuki was getting used to it, he dissipated. He cleared, giving way to nothing but a cold bed and the tears on his cheeks.

Deku had a way of finding his weakest spot every time, and Katsuki knew it all along. Katsuki knew it ever since they were kids.

He knew that Deku was his weakest spot.

He wiped the tears that were tracking down his face, biting back the urge to let more fall. 

Katsuki closed his eyes, and all he could see was the yellow light of fireflies. 

Chapter Text

Izuku draped his arms around himself tightly as he made his way toward his room, hands clutching at his upper arms and fingernails digging into his skin. 

His legs moved before his mind even had a chance to tell them to, feet charging toward his door without any order. He quivered, keeping his eyes low and pointed down at the floor, which he knew wasn’t a good idea in case he ran into anyone (though, at 1am, it was unlikely), but he didn’t care. Izuku was certain that if he looked up, he’d be sick.

Izuku’s head was spinning, his footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor of the hallway, and he had to use all of his strength to keep himself upright. He swayed too close to the wall, shifting himself over before he let his body lean against it.

He unhooked a hand from one of his arms, letting it fall to his doorknob, the cold bronze making his fingertips momentarily numb as he jerked it to the right. He pushed himself into his room, crashing into the empty space and closing the door just as quickly as it was opened. 

Izuku took a few steps into his dorm, spinning and letting his back hit the wall, slumping down until he landed on the floor with a heavy thud. He hiccuped a few breaths, panting in and out air and wheezing on it as his heart thumped in his ears. His blood pounded, forcing his entire body to palpitate. Shakily, he brought his hand up to his chest, kneading his knuckles against his breastbone as he breathed in heavily, head rolling back against the drywall. 

It felt like he was drowning. Every inhalation was heavy, weighing him down and pulling him toward the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, forcing a few tears to slip out of the edges. They trickled down his cheeks in thin lines, disappearing under his chin.

He was bobbing above crashing waves, chin tilted up to gulp down air before another surge enveloped him, knocking him back down to thrash in agony.

Izuku wasn’t paying attention to how loud he was being, if he was making any noise at all beyond his heavy breathing. He groaned at his fingers, lightening their touch on his chest as the pain finally caught up with him. He knew it’d leave a nasty bruise in the morning, but he ignored it, for now.

He shifted on the floor, and was reminded of the growing stickiness in his boxers. 

Izuku shivered, blood draining from his face and leaving him colorless as his body went icy with the thought. He never cleaned himself up. In the rush to get out of Katsuki’s room, he completely forgot about the ritual.

Kacchan was still inside of him. 

His lip trembled at the realization, and he bit down on it to keep from choking out a sob. Izuku pried himself from the wall, knees wobbling as he stood and made his way to the bathroom. 

The light was much too bright for his liking, stinging at his sensitive eyes and pulling more tears from him. He winced, leaning against the sink as he slowly adjusted, blinking rapidly to try and relieve the dots beginning to appear in the corners of his vision.

Izuku cleaned himself without looking. He kept his head pointed toward the ceiling as he peeled his boxers off, wiping his thighs with a crumpled piece of toilet paper, throwing it in the bin and slamming his underwear in his dirty laundry basket without even so much as glancing at the red flannel.

He turned the sink on, running the cold water and shoving his hands under the faucet until he could no longer feel his fingers. He cupped them, letting the water pool in his palms as he brought it to his face, the splash of cool dripping down his face and making his neck and upper chest wet.

Izuku blinked his eyes half open, and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, slightly swollen from squeezing them so tightly and forcing out tears. His cheeks were devoid of any color but a pale ghostly white, framed by fading tear tracks and the cold water still dripping off of his jaw. He gripped the sides of the sink, more flooding his eyes as he blinked, his head falling forward so his hair, unruly from the scene just fifteen minutes prior, fell in front of his face. 

A quiet, strangled little cry erupted from him. It came suddenly, surprising him as he whipped his hands up to his face, the back of one harshly pressed to his mouth to keep him quiet. He stumbled backwards, reaching out to turn the bathroom light off as he swayed out and toward his bed. He whimpered against the back of his hand, digging his teeth into it so he wouldn’t make another sound.

When his shins finally met the mattress, he fell. He didn’t care what position he landed in, he just needed to be smothered by a pillow or a blanket or anything to keep some semblance of sanity. His face was buried into the middle of his bed, feet dangling off the end, but he didn’t care.  

Once he was sure they would be suffocated by the duvet, Izuku wept.

Kacchan had said his name. His real name, not nerd or dumbfuck or Deku. He’d said, moaned, his name. Izuku couldn’t recall the last time that had happened (were they at the beach?), it was so many years ago that they must’ve been no older than four or five (or playing in the woods, maybe?). 

Kacchan had been calling him Deku for so long that it felt unnatural to hear his name come from him. Sure, Izuku was used to hearing his name from his mother or classmates on occasion, but he wasn’t even sure if Kacchan remembered his real name wasn’t Deku. 

Izuku felt as though he didn’t deserve to be called by his real name by Kacchan, like he had to earn it somehow.

What did he mean by it? Was it a slip of tongue, something that just suddenly came out on accident, much to his embarrassment? Or was it deliberate, planned out from the beginning and designed purposefully to make Izuku’s heart ache?

Izuku turned his head to breathe out his sobs, wiping his face on his bed and letting the sheets wick away the thick tears. 

Would Todoroki call him that in bed, too? 

He was still calling him Midoriya despite their dates and hand holding and games of footsie on the couch. Izuku wasn’t sure if he was afraid of that step or was just more comfortable calling him by his family name for now, but he surely couldn’t moan out “Midoriya” in bed, could he? 

Izuku groaned, reaching out and pulling a pillow to his chest. 

Kacchan had said, no— moaned, whined, whimpered, breathily sighed—his name, and every time Izuku thought about it, his heart throbbed.

Izuku felt like he was back at that log bridge when they were kids. Kacchan was marching across the middle, leading his little group with his arm stretched, popping off little explosions. In a split second he lost his footing on it, plunging into the water and making his friends stop in their tracks.

Except Izuku felt like he was the one plummeting into the stream, fighting to pop back up to breathe. And when he finally came to the surface, it was Kacchan standing above him, eyes soft and hand extended. 

He was falling, falling, falling, and it felt as though he would never reach above the water.

Maybe he didn’t want to. 

He clutched the pillow as he wiped his tears with his arm, a wave of nausea washing over him as he thought about Todoroki again.

He wasn’t sure if what he felt was guilt or the beginning inklings of something similar to love—perhaps a little bit of both—but whatever he felt was all for Todoroki. Todoroki was tangible, something he could touch and feel and kiss and not have to wonder about who might be watching. Todoroki wasn’t afraid to scoot close to him on the couch and hold his hand even though others might stare.

Todoroki was real, and wanted him now, Izuku didn’t have to wait for a convenient time or for the sun to go down. There were no games to play with Todoroki, there was just them. 

Katsuki was nothing more than a fantasy. 

Izuku knew the day would come when he had to move on from it. Their midnight fucking delayed it for a while, made him forget about it for a few hours a couple of times a week, but it was always a lingering throb. A pinprick in the back of his mind, reminding him of the circumstances and turning the sugar sweet taste of Kacchan’s lips against his bitter in the process. 

Katsuki was always a fantasy. It’d be a fever dream to think he’d be anything more, and Izuku knew that. Izuku knew that from the first time he started to develop the faintest little crush on him as their relationship started to rebuild itself. He stared at the back of Katsuki’s neck as he sat behind him in class, daydreaming for a minute about being pinned against the wall and Katsuki’s hands all over him and the heat between his legs. 

Izuku knew it even after the daydream dissipated into reality. It felt like heaven in the moment, but he knew after they were done, after the ritual was over and Katsuki pried his hands off of him, he’d have to go back to that classroom, staring at his shoulders and imagining his arms wrapping around them. 

He knew moving on would shatter him. It already felt like a dagger lodged deep in his chest, twisting harder and harder as his heart swelled and bled around it. He had no one else to blame but himself for the knife in his chest. Katsuki was the reason it was there, but he wasn’t the one who delivered the blow. 

But maybe, just maybe, Izuku thought Todoroki might actually love him, even if it was just starting to blossom, even if it led nowhere. And that would make all of the pain worthwhile. 

Izuku wasn’t sure if what he felt for Todoroki was love, but whatever it was, it was nice.

It was like he was walking on air, swimming through the clouds and dancing around sun rays as they blanketed his cheeks. He was warm, and butterflies swarmed from his rib cage outwards. 

Izuku wiped his face on his arm again, holding the pillow tightly to his chest. For a fleeting moment, he imagined it as Katsuki’s shoulders.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t until Aizawa and Vlad King announced a surprise training camp trip that Todoroki suggested to Izuku that they should let their friends know about their relationship status. 

Aizawa had just finished going over the details of the trip, his face beginning to droop as he went further in depth. By the time Todoroki had caught up to Izuku as they were leaving for their first class, he was out cold on the floor. 

He grabbed Izuku’s hand, bringing it to his side as they walked. “Maybe we can bunk together.” Todoroki turned his face to meet Izuku’s, the sun shining through the windows behind him catching on his flyaways and turning them a dull yellow and light pink. 

Izuku took a moment to process the proposal as well as the hand grabbing at his fingers, his own hand sitting in Todoroki’s as if it were dead. He’d been stuck in his head ever since that night with Kacchan. It’d subsided as the days passed, but every time Kacchan passed him, he could feel his chest swelling. He squeezed Todoroki’s hand, his fingers reaching up and resting on his knuckles once he realized Todoroki was holding his. “That’d be nice,” Izuku said, finally, the pause between Todoroki’s phrase and his answer wide enough for it to be on the brink of awkward, as if Izuku wasn’t paying attention to him.

Which wasn’t exactly a lie. 

Todoroki ignored it, squeezing Izuku’s hand back and swiping his thumb between the little L of Izuku’s palm, running the pad of his finger across the skin connecting Izuku’s thumb and pointer gently. 

That was one of the actions Todoroki did that made Izuku’s face redden the most. There were quite a few, but only a couple were able to render Izuku to a muttering, blushing mess: Todoroki’s hand squeezing around his thigh on the couch, his head tilting as a radiant smile splayed across his lips, his eyes when they scanned up and down Izuku’s body like he wanted nothing more but him. The little thumb brush was only added to an ever-growing list that Izuku was keeping track of. 

“We should probably at least let Iida and Uraraka know about us before we bunk together.” Todoroki hesitated. “ If we bunk together.”

Izuku whipped his head around to look at Todoroki, some of the blush on the apples of his cheeks dissipating immediately. Us. He said it so confidently, with no hesitation or delay. There was no break up of their names, no you and I, just us. Like the world didn’t matter, it was just them, and they were the only two people with any sort of significance. “Do they?” Izuku’s voice broke, fracturing into high-pitched pieces. 

Todoroki giggled at him. “They probably already know,” he spoke honestly, still smiling over how endearing Izuku’s voice sounded when he was nervous; the pitchy little syllables coming out like a canary who was just learning how to sing. “But I’m sure they’d appreciate a formal announcement anyway.”

Izuku nodded and turned his head back to the floor, staring down at his scuffed red sneakers as they moved across the polished hallway tiles, shiny from the previous night’s cleaning, a few long surface scratches interrupting the perfect periwinkle mirror. “Yeah.” He kept his voice low this time, so it wouldn’t crack again. 

Todoroki stopped at their next class, leaning in to quickly peck his cheek before they headed inside of the classroom. “Maybe later, during lunch?” He wriggled his hand out of Izuku’s, opening up the door and stepping aside to let him go first. 

Izuku nodded again, looking back up and flashing him a thank you smile. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” He brought his hand up to brush his cheek, fingers lightly tracing over the place where Todoroki’s lips were just seconds before.

His kisses were another thing that made Izuku red in the face. 

Their first one came after a date. Izuku couldn’t quite remember which one, but he remembered getting back to the dorms after dark and trying to hold in his giggles as he tiptoed down the hallway. Todoroki walked him to his dorm, and once they reached his door, he leaned in and pecked his lips before turning around in an instant. Izuku was left standing there, watching Todoroki disappear in the darkness of the hallway, his mouth glowing with the imprint of his lips. 

Todoroki’s lingering kisses were even better. The ones where he could afford to stay a while, standing above him and making Izuku’s entire body limp in the process. Todoroki planted his hand under his jaw, tilting his head up as his lips parted to pull Izuku’s in. Todoroki’s lips were warm, fully warm, not like his hands, where one was slightly cooler than the other. There were no halves with his lips, they were just warm . They were a fuzzy blanket on a winter afternoon: comforting, welcoming, something one looked forward to after spending so long out in the cold. Izuku swore they tasted like strawberry lip balm and mandarins. 

Once Todoroki started kissing him like that, Izuku didn’t want to stop. 

Katsuki slumped down in chair once Deku and Todoroki walked into class, his shirt creasing on the desk as he slid down. Their wandering eyes as they took their seats ignited dim flickers in his palms. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to keep his focus on Cementoss and the damn literature class. 

They’d been growing more and more bold as of late, and Katsuki couldn’t stand it. They didn’t even try to hide the cheek kisses or the blatant hand holding anymore. It pissed Katsuki off how little everyone talked about it, it was like it wasn’t even surprising, like it was expected. That obviously they were together, why wouldn't they be?

He couldn’t stand how happy they seemed. He could hear the light giggling from across the hall in his dorm, the walls muffling most of it but bleeding through just enough to dig under Katsuki’s skin and itch at him from the inside out. 

He hated how happy Deku looked. How dare he be so happy without him, how dare he move on so quickly, as if what they had or what they’d done was nothing. Katsuki knew what they had wasn’t significant, they did just fuck, after all, but it was something. It was something, at least that’s what Katsuki thought, and it irked the shit out of him that Deku didn’t even want to acknowledge it.

Though Katsuki couldn’t really blame him. He was the villain of Deku’s story, childhood bully turned high school fuck buddy, some backwards piece of a puzzle they were. Katsuki was someone for Deku to grow out of in order to find someone better. That was Katsuki’s fault; if he wanted to be that someone better , he shouldn’t have looked down on him so harshly when they were kids. Hell, it took him until high school to even have a normal conversation with him again. 

And even then, they weren’t even normal. They went from childhood friends, to Katsuki pouring his milk on him in middle school, to finally rekindling some of that childhood sparkle now that they were at UA, only for Katsuki to break and turn their relationship into a friends-with-benefits situation, all because he couldn’t help himself. It was a rapid rollercoaster of emotions, and Katsuki should’ve known better. Katsuki should’ve taken it slowly, he owed it to Deku to wait it out and be patient and gentle with him.

But he couldn’t. Not with Deku.

There was nothing gentle with Deku, everything he felt for him was intense. When it was scalding anger he damn well showed it in the most infuriating ways, voice heightening as he hurled strings and strings of insults he only meant in the heat of the moment. When it was dripping lust, Katsuki had no qualms with pinning him to the mattress and fucking him raw and hard until he no longer felt bad for thinking about how much he loved him after Deku left his dorm. 

Katsuki hated how that was the way he showed that love, because he knew Deku deserved better. If he could even call it love, that is. 

Katsuki didn’t know what to call it.  Whatever it was, it was intense, crawling its way inside him like a scream that begged to be let out. It scared him at times, how it would overtake his every thought, backing him into a corner and forcing him to acknowledge its presence. 

He set his jaw, skimming past pages in his notebook as he scribbled down fuck all while Cementoss began the lesson.

“So, training camp, huh?” Uraraka sipped her milk, making small talk at the lunch table while everyone ate. 

“Seems like it’ll be fun,” Iida answered almost immediately, lifting some of his chicken teriyaki to his lips. “We haven’t had a formal training period in a while.”

Todoroki finished his latest bite of soba, setting his chopsticks down momentarily. “Midoriya and I might bunk together, if we’re able.”

Izuku fidgeted nervously, picking his eyes up from the table to dart between Iida and Uraraka, catching the tail end of Uraraka’s growing smirk. It looked as though she was anticipating Todoroki’s next words, waiting for a confirmation to something she already subconsciously knew was true.

Iida, however, didn’t have a clue. “Oh?” He asked, puzzled, as Uraraka tried to stifle her laughter. “Any particular reason why?”

Todoroki tried to hold back his own laughter, only letting a little chuckle through. “We’re together.” He chuckled again, louder this time, as Iida’s visual confusion failed to falter. “We’re, we’re dating.”

Izuku noticed his hesitation, but it was trampled by Iida’s resounding “oh!”.

“Oh!” He repeated, chuckling himself. “My apologies, I had no idea.”

Uraraka laughed, covering her mouth with her hand as she dug her elbow into Iida’s arm. “How could you not know?!” She giggled, struggling to contain her laughter. “They were practically stuck to each other!”

Uraraka spoke as if them being together was the most obvious thing in the world, like saying the sky was blue or Izuku’s favorite food was katsudon. She wasn’t surprised in the least, and after the initial shock of being told, neither was Iida. Neither Uraraka or Iida made a big deal out of it, and once the giggling ceased, they all went back to eating their lunch.

It was all so obvious to everyone but Izuku, he figured.

Chapter Text

Izuku rummaged through his dresser in his dorm hastily, displacing his folded clothes without thought and tossing various t-shirts and pairs of shorts out of their drawers and onto his bed for packing. 

The bus was already outside of Heights Alliance, idling and being loaded with his classmate’s bags in preparation for their departure. Which was in an hour.

Izuku, in the haze of training and schoolwork, forgot to pack a bag, and left it until the final hour until they were supposed to leave. He knew it was cutting it way too close, many of his own classmates already padding past his room with their own bags that they’d surely packed days ago, leaving him anxiously scurrying around his dorm in an attempt to catch up. 

He panted, darting all over his room and trying to make sure he didn’t forget any of the bare essentials: toothbrush, deodorant, body wash. Anything else was an afterthought, something he could live without or ask to borrow from friends. He didn’t even care what clothes he haphazardly stuffed into his duffel bag, just as long as he had them. He knew his friends would tease him for the mismatched outfits he’d have to create, but he didn’t have the time to worry about that. 

“Midoriya, you’re still packing?” Tsu croaked from behind him, standing in the doorway of his room. 

He turned around to face her, scratching the back of his neck and chuckling. “Yeah, forgot,” he said, voice out of breath from running around his room all morning. He pulled the zipper on his bag, the teeth getting stuck on a piece of shirt that hung out of it. 

Tsu cocked her head, giggling. “We only have an hour, though-“

“Midoriya we need to get on the bus soon—are you still packing?!” Iida interrupted, popping out from the other side of Tsu.

Izuku tugged on the zipper, trying to break it free from the shirt it was caught on, awkwardly shifting between the bag and his friends. “Y-Yes, I’ll be alright though! I’m almost done!” He chirped, fingers jiggling the zipper back and forth as it loosened and finally glided smoothly. “There! I’m done!”

Iida relaxed slightly, stepping aside to let him out of his dorm. “You should’ve done that days ago.” He tutted, shaking his head. “Better late than never, I suppose.”

Izuku sighed and slung his bag over his shoulder, chuckling and taking a few steps out of his room before he spun on his heel and ran back into it. 

“What did you forget?!” Iida asked, exasperated, hands planting themselves on his hips.

“Almost forgot my phone!” Izuku laughed, catching up with Iida and Tsu again, closing the door to his dorm and dropping his phone into his pocket. “Where’s Sho-I mean, Todoroki?” Izuku’s cheeks flooded with heat, biting on the inside of his cheek as red spread across his face. He hoped they didn’t notice the slip, but Iida’s smirk told him otherwise.

“Todoroki just got on the bus.” Iida said, pressing the bottom button for the elevator. “I figured you were with him, that’s why I came to your dorm to see if you were ready.”

The elevator doors parted, Izuku stepping in while Iida and Tsu followed close behind. “Ochaco texted me a few minutes ago, she’s on the bus with Todoroki.” 

Izuku chewed on his cheek again. Shoto hadn’t even texted him to ask if he was ready, there wasn’t even so much of a message asking if he wanted to sit with him on the bus. Izuku ran through the checklist of things in his head to keep himself distracted from the thought of Shoto being angry at him, mentally visualizing everything he needed to pack as the elevator lowered them to the bottom floor. He surely forgot a slew of things, stupid ones he should’ve grabbed, but it was too late now. 

The elevator opened again, delivering them to the common area. “Mr. Aizawa’s taking a headcount, so we better get moving.” Tsu snapped Izuku out of his overthinking, and he gripped the strap of his bag tightly.

“Right!” He answered, picking his feet up and heading toward the doors. 

Aizawa turned from the front of the bus, folding his arms over his chest. “Iida, did you see anyone else inside?” 

Iida nodded his head once. “Ashido, Kaminari, and Jirou were still getting ready, but they should be heading down soon.”

Aizawa nodded and pointed his thumb behind him. “You three take your seats, we should be leaving in a few minutes.”

Izuku was the last onto the bus after Iida and Tsu, scanning around the seats and looking for split red and white. Shoto looked up from his phone, raising his arm and smiling once Izuku noticed him. 

Izuku silently exhaled, relieved at that smile. He shuffled his way up the aisle to get to his seat, taking notice of everyone on the bus so far. Yayorouzu, Aoyama, Shoji, Kirishima, and Sero all sat near the front and toward the middle, where he was headed.

There was no sign of Katsuki. At least not yet. He was honestly grateful Kacchan wasn’t on the bus yet, able to avoid making eye contact with him as he sat down next to Shoto. But whether that eye contact would be worse if he’d gotten it over with now instead of having to wait until Kacchan boarded while he was sitting, Izuku wasn’t sure.  

“Sorry I’m late,” he said to Shoto hurriedly once he sat down, shifting to get himself comfortable. He adjusted himself in the seat, taking his phone out of his pocket and setting it in his lap before he settled on a position. “There were a few things I still needed to pack.” 

Shoto shook his head and laughed, playfully elbowing him. “I figured. Glad you made it in time.” His arm pushed its way into Izuku’s gently, and the touch left Izuku’s skin tingling. 

One after the other, Ashido, Kaminari, and Jirou all bounded down the aisle of the bus, panting and taking their respective seats accordingly. They looked rushed, hair not even combed through and Kaminari still in his pajama top. They laughed amongst themselves quietly, covering their giggles with the back of their hands as they leaned in to whisper with each other. 

Izuku caught the tail end of their murmurs, involuntarily eavesdropping on Ashido’s “man, Bakugou is not a morning person, huh?” before the three snickered and leaned back in their seats. 

Katsuki’s heavy jaunt weighed down the steps of the bus just moments later, his slumped shoulders and down-turned expression letting everyone know he was in a shittier mood than he typically was. He kept his gaze pointed to the narrow catwalk, focusing on the clumps of dirt and crumbs embedded into the faded carpet as he slumped himself into a seat beside Tokoyami. 

Izuku blinked up at him once he sat down, just a few seats across from him and Shoto. He had the perfect view of him if he turned his head to look across the aisle, there was nowhere for his eyes to go except the back of Katsuki’s neck and the curving slope of the side of his cheek. 

Katsuki was slung back, legs stretching out under the seat in front of him, head dipped down as his arms crossed in front of his chest. There was a slight darkness underneath his eyes, now half-lidded and withdrawn under his furrowed brow. 

Izuku took his eyes off of him as quickly as they settled into the line of his jaw, his attention shifting back to him and Shoto’s under-their-breath conversation. It seemed like everyone was conscious about how early in the morning it was, keeping their voices low and their chatter just above a mumble. 

“I brought a blanket in case we get cold on the way,” Shoto lifted up a backpack that was hiding under his seat, swollen full of things to keep them entertained on the bus ride to the camp. “Figured we could share.” He unzipped the top of the bag, the blanket bursting through the opening before he even had a chance to grab it. 

A few seats across from them, Katsuki was trying not to pay attention to their hushed laughter and instead focused on his attempt at taking a nap. He didn’t even pay attention to whoever he slouched down next to, he picked a seat and sat, it didn’t matter who was beside him. He subtly shifted his stare to the left, fixing on his seat partner for the next few hours.

Tokoyami. He was honestly relieved, he could live with Tokoyami. 

Tokoyami was, actually, one of the few people he really liked in class. He was quiet, didn’t talk much, especially back to Katsuki when he was in a bad mood. There were a few occasions where Katsuki had sat and ranted to him, just because he needed someone, anyone to talk to about how stupid Kaminari or Sero were. Tokoyami was one of the only students who didn’t care about Katsuki’s attitude or smart-ass quips, instead simply lending a listening ear. 

The bus lurched forward, the brakes squeaking mechanically as it slowly began to accelerate. Aizawa stood at the front and mentally counted everyone as they veered out of the sanctuary of UA. 

Katsuki arched his back in the seat, bringing his legs back toward him from underneath the chair in front of him as his hands stuffed themselves into the pocket of his hoodie. He turned his head again, just barely, back to his seatmate. “Hey. Tokoyami.” 

Tokoyami looked back from the window, his own eyes droopy with sleep through his feathers. “Bakugou.”

Katsuki almost laughed. He enjoyed Tokoyami’s calm neutrality toward him, it was a nice change of pace compared to how many others spoke to him. Tokoyami was also the best at keeping secrets. 

Not that Katsuki really knew that. But from the way he’d let him rant on occasion, he figured Tokoyami would be the best person to entrust a secret to out of anyone in 1A. “Can I ask you something?”

Tokoyami shrugged in reply, fully turning to him now so he could give Katsuki his full attention. “I suppose you can.” 

His voice was low, like it usually was, but it was more silent than even that usual cant. It was hushed, like they were in a library having a forbidden conversation instead of on a bus full of tired teenagers. 

“Have you ever liked someone?”

Katsuki noticed Tokoyami’s brow (or, where his brow was supposed to be) twitch, his shoulders going rigid for a moment as he blinked. He looked puzzled, but he answered relatively quickly anyway.

“I mean, yes. I guess. Why are you asking?”

Katsuki’s own shoulders hunched up and he tilted himself back against the headrest of the seat, staring up at the curved ceiling of the bus as he gathered his thoughts. “How do you tell them you like them?”

Tokoyami blinked again. “If you’re trying to tell me something, Bakugou, I’m going to have to—“

“No, no, it’s not you. No offense.”

Tokoyami relaxed at the welcome interruption. “No offense taken. I’m relieved.” He chuckled. 

Tokoyami paused. Katsuki could tell he was slightly uncomfortable at his vulnerability, though he wasn’t surprised. Katsuki was vulnerable for hardly anyone, let alone his classmates, and let alone vulnerable like this. He hadn’t told Tokoyami who the subject of his affections were, but the vulnerability was still there nonetheless. Someone finding out that Katsuki Bakugou had a crush, especially his friends, would be a disaster. Katsuki built up a wall of rigidity, and something as pliable as a crush would be more than enough to deliver devastating cracks to it. 

Katsuki didn’t even want to imagine the constant badgering that Ashido and Kaminari would pester him with, trying to get him to spill his feelings if they found out. He was certain that if he shared this information with anyone else but Tokoyami, it would somehow make it back to them eventually.

After a few minutes, Tokoyami broke the descending silence. “To answer your question, I would think you’d just tell them.” He shrugged, turning to look out the window again, his blurred reflection mirroring back to him, hazy by passing trees. “It’d be worse to keep it in, I imagine. It seems easier to keep it in, but it bites away at you.” He paused again, closing his eyes and pulling his face away from the window. 

“It’s always better to speak than to let it fade. To let it fade would hurt more, I think.”

Katsuki lowered his gaze from the ceiling, rolling his head back down and fidgeting with his fingers in his hoodie pocket, picking at the sides of his nails. He could hear muffled giggling from behind him, and his shoulders fell back. 

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” 

Chapter Text

“We’ll be at the training camp in ten minutes. Gather yourselves and make sure you’re ready to get off the bus once we get there.”

Mr. Aizawa stood up from the front of the bus, his voice, though stoic and not raised above its normal cadence, enough to jolt many of the students out of their slumber and into the grogginess of early afternoon. A chorus of groans sounded around the bus, everyone stretching their backs against their seats in a futile attempt at trying to wake themselves up. From where he was sitting, Katsuki could see Sero turn around and say something to Kaminari that made him double over with laughter.

Katsuki didn’t sleep for long, barely and only during the last hour of the trip, but it left him feeling fuzzier than when he’d just woken up that morning. He rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms, dragging his hands away from his face and turning his head toward the window to adjust himself to the new surroundings. They were driving on a long, straight road, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, the edges of the worn asphalt lined with a wall of trees that seemed to never end. 

He figured they went north, surely out of Shizuoka Prefecture and probably up toward Saitama. Wherever they were, it was a long way from Musutafu and any sort of city. 

Tokoyami turned toward him from the window. “Oh, good, you’re awake. Did you hear Mr. Aizawa’s announcement?” 

Katsuki nodded and yawned, taking notice of the dryness in his mouth and the sour taste it left behind. He instinctively reached for a bottle of water beside him, but was all too disappointed not to find one. “Yeah,” he grumbled, trying to conjure enough spit to wash the sleepy taste off of his tongue. 

The trees parted to give way to a clearing, the bus stopping for a moment while the gate opened for it. It slowly rolled past the check-in booth, Aizawa standing again from his seat to direct the driver where to go next. 

Katsuki tilted his head up against his seat, listening to Todoroki unzipping a backpack and shoving something inside it from behind him against his will. He ignored it before he could let the thought spiral enough to force him to turn around. 

He ignored his— their —sounds the entire trip. The whispered conversations that he couldn’t make out. Light giggles over fuck knows what, Katsuki able to picture Izuku’s pink cheeks despite facing in front of him. It wasn’t hard to imagine, he knew what came with that held-in laughter, when he tried not to be too loud and instead had to let them out through huffed breaths to keep his voice low, face flushing in the midst of it. He’d seen it plenty of times, whether it was across the room during lunch or late at night in his bedroom, though the latter instances were more fleeting. He could stare at him longer when he was a voyeur from across the room. 

Katsuki could also hear the shuffling of a blanket as they shifted in sleep, and it was even easier to picture what Izuku looked like with that than with their giggling. He knew exactly what Deku looked like when he slept, though he only caught glimpses when he’d spend the night in his dorm. Periodic glances Katsuki would steal; Izuku’s cheek pressed to a pillow, pine hair sprawled all over it and draping itself over his forehead. Katsuki would only see it on his way back from trips to the bathroom, Deku’s face illuminated by the light for only a few seconds before Katsuki flicked it off, but in that brief instant, Katsuki allowed himself to look. After the light was extinguished by the flip of his finger, Katsuki was left with only a small stripe of moonlight on his bed to look at Deku with, but until he crawled back under his duvet, he’d stare as long as he possibly could. There were instances where he’d face him, just for a couple of minutes, testing to see if Deku would wake up and notice him, before he finally rolled back over and faced his wall. 

In the beginning, Katsuki hated himself for staring at Deku like that. Why the hell was he looking at him in such a way, like he was a bitch gone soft, like someone he would’ve tripped in middle school and laughed at in the hallway. Deku was someone to fuck and only someone to fuck, and only when it was convienent for Katsuki. Any other time he was a stupid fucking deku, someone who pissed him off and annoyed him to no end. 

But that didn’t last long. Katsuki’s self hatred simmered into those stolen glances he’d look forward to, no longer caring about what he felt about Deku, he just felt. He kept his facade up in the daytime around everyone, still picking fights with him during training and teasing him when he felt like it, albeit less often than he used to. Their friendship was slowly building back, the class knew that, so it wasn’t too much of a shock when he would act slightly more friendly with him at times. He just made sure to sprinkle in some of his smartass remarks so everyone wouldn’t get too suspicious if they were acting too close. 

The fact that Todoroki was able to look at Izuku like that whenever he wanted made Katsuki’s skin itch. He could just open his eyes whenever he pleased, able to linger on the side of Izuku’s face when it was on the seat or on his shoulder or wherever, for as long as he wanted. Todoroki didn’t deserve to be able to have that privilege, to take something like that from Katsuki so easily and act so chaste in the wake of its withdrawal. 

Fucking Deku. Was Katsuki not worthy enough of that privilege anymore; the privilege of fucking him and holding him and staring at his face in the glow of the bathroom before he turned the light off. Katsuki sure thought he was, why wouldn’t he be? He was Katsuki Bakugou, someone destined for greatness and fame and fortune and everything amazing that came with it. 

But he was Katsuki Bakugou. The same Katsuki Bakugou who took years to stop tormenting and terrorizing him only to fuck him until he saw stars and not realize he loved him until it was too late. 

Todoroki didn’t deserve him, but neither did Katsuki. 

The bus hauled to a stop, and once Tokoyami stood, Katsuki took that as his cue to follow suit. His legs felt like jelly as he lifted himself to his feet, wobbly from being stuck in the same position for so long. He absentmindedly noticed the people passing him down the aisle, shuffling in front of him as they darted by his seat. He thought he could make out Mineta and Ojiro, with Hagakure and Sero following not long after. He stretched his arms upward, fingertips just barely grazing the ceiling of the bus before they dropped back down. 

Out of the corner of his vision, he could see the blurry outlines of Deku and Todoroki as they left their seats, Half-and-Half leaning in to deliver a quick peck to Deku’s cheek as he dragged himself out of their little two-seated oasis. Katsuki turned into the view despite the dread he felt at the thought of seeing more, but he was forced to look while he exited his own seat, Tokoyami following close behind. He caught Izuku’s growing smirk, cheekily staring up at Todoroki through the hair that had fallen in his face, wordlessly saying kiss me again, harder, only for a fraction of a second as Todoroki turned his back and led Izuku toward the front of the bus.

Deku passed Katsuki casually, skirting by without a second thought, stumbling on his still too-big sneakers on his way to catching up with Todoroki. He yelped softly as his hands caught him on a chair, bracing himself before he fell and giving him a moment to regain his footing. Katsuki’s head followed him all the way off the bus, turning as if pulled by an invisible string that was unable to be snapped. 

Katsuki could feel Tokoyami’s growing edginess behind him, and got his legs going before Tokoyami was able to ask why he was loitering in place for so long. He kept his gaze pointed downward, giving ample room to Tokoyami as he followed behind. He wasn’t exactly in a rush to get off the bus and start training and see Deku and Todoroki and their gag-worthy antics, but he also didn’t want to stay standing beside his seat replaying that kiss over and over again in his head forever. 

He stepped down from the bus, delivering a “thank you” under his breath to the driver as he ducked into the sunlight. He cringed immediately, his eyes too adjusted to the dim light of the bus and now bombarded by ultraviolet white. He snapped a hand up to his forehead, making a much needed awning with his cupped fingers. He bumped into Kirishima as he caught up with the rest of the class, gathering in the solar system-like semi-circle that revolved around Aizawa.  

“Everyone, pick one partner. Part of this training camp is about teamwork, and you and your partner will be setting up and sleeping in a tent. Choose your partner carefully, you will not be able to change them after you’ve already picked.”

Katsuki fell into the collective groan that had sounded off from everyone upon hearing the word “tent”. This was already shaping up to be a miserable experience, and they’d barely been there for five minutes. 

Aizawa didn’t look pleased. “Stop whining. Learning to work and cohabitate with another person, though temporarily, will strengthen the skills you need to be a hero.” He turned halfway, still facing the class. “Now, pick your partners and report to me for your tent materials.”

The class dispersed immediately, many of the girls bounding over to each other and squealing as if they’d known all along and had chosen one another hours before. A few of the boys were already pairing together: Kaminari and Kirishima, Shoji and Koda, and Sero and Ojiro fell together rather quickly. Of course, Deku and Icy Hot were already on their way up to Aizawa to grab their tent.

Katsuki set his jaw and kicked a rock that was in front of his foot, watching it bounce on the ground before landing in a cloud of dirt. If he was going to be stuck with a fucker like Mineta, he was gonna be pissed.

“Do you want to work together, Bakugou?” Tokoyami piped up from beside him, walking closer and pointing a thumb back to Aizawa.

Katsuki was taken aback for a second, looking up from his feet and trying to keep the relief from spreading too far on his face. “Yeah, sure.” He spun on his heel, following Tokoyami to where Aizawa stood.

He hoped and prayed to every god he could think of that they wouldn’t have to set up their tent beside Deku’s. He hadn’t visited the shrine in a while, but he hoped the kaiun omamori he bought during New Year that he hung in his dorm would provide him with enough luck to be placed far away from their tent. 

Aizawa jotted their names down on a sheet of paper once they approached, handing them a bright yellow tent in a narrow carrying case once he set his pen down. “You can set up anywhere from the left of the check-in building. Do not go into the woods.”

They both nodded and left without a word, Katsuki biting down a laugh in his chest at Aizawa’s warning. He knew that was probably for someone like Kaminari, who had surely thought about venturing into the woods to set up his and Kirishima’s tent. Katsuki could see his disappointed face and the “aw, man!” that followed, trudging away from their teacher with the tent under his arm in disappointment. 

They passed many of their classmates on the way to their own little spot, Tokoyami circling the area for a minute or two. “Here?” He asked after pondering it, looking back up at Katsuki.

“Yeah, I think here’s good,” Katsuki dropped the tent, un-cinching the bag and dragging all of the poles and fabric out of it. “You ever pitched a tent before?”

Tokoyami shook his head and chuckled, and from across the field, Katsuki could hear Deku’s laughter. He sighed and laughed quietly himself. “Guess it’s going to be a long day, then.”

Chapter Text

It rained the night that everyone set up their tents. The sky cracked open, greying clouds blurred overhead by sheets and sheets of thick, soaking rain. It was miserable. 

It was a miracle that no one's tent had begun to leak yet, the waxy cerulean waterproof tarps Aizawa had handed out at the beginning of the day their only saving grace. Even the ground underneath them was still dry, saved by the tent’s bottom and even more of the tarps. When Aizawa told them to secure it to the ground carefully, they listened.

Their tents became everyone’s own little dry oasis, but Izuku found that, while they stayed dry and safe inside them, they were freezing. Sure, the tarps wicked away the rain, but it provided next to no insulation. Izuku shivered in his place, pulling his sleeping bag up until his socks hit the very back of it. Even Shoto’s left side wasn’t enough to warm him up, the outside air soaked him to the bone without the rain ever touching him. 

“Do you want to combine our sleeping bags?” Shoto suggested, sitting up from his own and leaning over to where Izuku was. “It might make you warmer.”

Izuku’s teeth clattered, and he nodded shakily in Shoto’s direction. “Please,” he tried not to stutter, unzipping his own to make room for Shoto’s. 

Shoto moved quickly, flattening his out and pushing them together so he could zip them in the middle. “Sorry that I can’t heat you up without burning you or the entire tent down.” He chuckled to lighten the mood, scooting up as he zipped their sleeping bags together. 

Izuku slammed himself down once they were conjoined, pulling his side up to swaddle himself. “It’s alright,” he laughed back at Shoto, just to let him know that he still had his humor left, despite his shivering. “Wouldn’t want to add another scar.”

Shoto laughed at his jest, lowering himself down beside Izuku, though slower. “C’mere..” He whispered, lifting his arm to open his chest, making room for Izuku to scoot closer to him.

Izuku smiled through his shuddering, crawling closer to him and happily pressing himself into Shoto’s chest, face nestled in the crook of his neck. “Thank you.” His voice was muffled by Shoto’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help but giggle when he jumped once his hands reached around his back.

Shoto seethed, sucking a hiss through his teeth. “Fuck, your hands are cold,” he laughed, slinging his own to Izuku’s shoulder blades. “This any better?”

Izuku nodded, pulling himself from Shoto just for a second so he could look at him. He hovered his face above Shoto’s, pecking his lips before he answered. “Much. Thank you.”

Shoto grinned, his eyes closing again as he leaned back in. Their lips grazed again, lightly, just a little tease as Shoto’s head dipped back. He nestled Izuku’s face into his shoulder, pulling the top of the sleeping bag over them. 

Izuku smiled to himself, wide, when Shoto couldn’t see him. This was nice. He wasn’t used to being held, at least not being held like he was fragile, like he was something to be cared for. It wasn’t like Kacchan didn’t hold him, but he never held him like this. Shoto embraced him close and didn’t hesitate to bring him closer. On the rare occasion when he held him, Kacchan felt like he was pushing him away. 

“You know,” Shoto started, snaking a hand up to Izuku’s neck, petting down his hair. “I know a different way of warming you up.”

The change in his tone made Izuku’s heart beat in his ears. He shifted against Shoto’s chest, arms gripping him just a tad tighter. The suggestion dripped in his voice, coming out smooth, like it’d been rehearsed for weeks before he finally said the line. He could sense the smirk Shoto was rapidly growing, his hands smoothing down his hair a bit heavier. Izuku tried not to breathe so loud. “Yeah?” 

Shoto nodded, slowly moving Izuku away from his shoulder as he dipped his hands lower. “Yeah.” He pressed his forehead to Izuku’s once he successfully pried him off, their hair being pushed up as Shoto drew their faces closer. His hands settled at Izuku’s waist, gripping him tightly for a moment, his fingers relaxing after a second. “Only if you want it, though.”

Izuku gave up on keeping his breath quiet. He loudly sucked one in, body tensing with Shoto’s touch as his fingers crept even lower. He blinked at him, his own hands draped over Shoto’s shoulders as his fingers nervously knotted behind his head. He nodded, slowly. “I do,” he whispered, shimmying himself into Shoto’s hands. “Please.”

Shoto’s grin only widened, a flash of mischief darting across his face, like he’d been waiting a long time to hear those words. He swiped his fingers under the elastic waistband of Izuku’s sweatpants, eliciting another swift gasp from him as he palmed him through his boxers. “Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

Izuku could only nod, eyes melting shut and hands gripping Shoto’s shoulders as he bucked his hips into his palm. The friction felt so, so good, his cock finally receiving attention after tenting in his boxers for so long. “I-I will,” he stuttered, seething a breath through his teeth as Shoto’s hand made its way into his underwear. He whimpered, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep from being too loud. 

His cock twitched once Shoto wrapped his fingers around him, Izuku turning to putty in his hands and stuffing his face into the crook of his neck to suppress his moans. 

Shoto’s hands felt different than Kacchan’s. For one, they were smoother, soft to the touch and gliding so perfectly up and down his dick. His slender fingers traced the underside of him, thumb gathering the small beads of precum on the tip and using it as a natural lubrication to ease his quickening pace. Shoto’s hands felt nice on him, they felt careful .

Kacchan’s hands were calloused, rough and well-used, often jerking Izuku off rapidly as Katsuki whispered complete filth in his ear that only made Izuku harder. Katsuki knew where to press his fingers to make Izuku cum the hardest, stopping between harsh strokes to tease him and snicker when he’d beg. Kacchan’s hands felt familiar, they felt warm.

Shoto’s weren’t exactly cold, though. His rhythm was moving faster with every whiny moan Izuku dealt against his shoulder, and from where Izuku was nestled, he could feel Shoto’s own hardening cock against his knee. He rolled his hips into Shoto’s touch, slowly, grinding on his hand and whimpering pitifully when he took it away. Izuku didn’t even notice Shoto was panting.

“Do you want to go further?” He huffed, sweat beginning to form on his forehead as he looked back down at Izuku. “I brought lube and condoms and—“

“Yes.” Izuku cut him off, nodding, kissing over his cheeks in an attempt to show his own desperation. “Yes, I want more, please.”

Shoto had to bite his knuckle to keep from groaning at Izuku’s neediness, his body rolling over to his bag as he rummaged through it to pull out the little bottle and the package of condoms he’d tucked into a zipped compartment. He set them down in the crease of the sleeping bag, moving back to Izuku and kissing him quickly, like it was something he didn’t want to forget to do. 

Izuku pushed the sleeping bag off of his lower half, shoving down his sweatpants and boxers once the conjoined top sheet was at his ankles. He pulled away from Shoto, laying down against his pillow and shivering. “D-Do you want to undress?” He clattered again, any heat he retained from their closeness now drained with the removal of his clothes. 

Shoto barely nodded in response, pulling his nightshirt over his head and working on his boxers not long after. “Can you spread your legs, a little?”

It sounded like he was trying desperately not to stutter, keeping his nervousness inwards and maintaining a cool and calm facade, though Izuku wasn’t sure if it was more for him or for Shoto himself. He complied, parting his knees and angling his hips up as Shoto uncapped the lube and spread it over two of his fingers. From his position, Izuku could see his hands trembling, though barely, as the clear gel was rubbed over his forefinger and middle. 

“Tell me if it hurts, alright?” His voice sounded nervous now, matching his fingers as they brushed between Izuku’s legs, his middle finger pressing itself to his rim before pushing inside. Shoto whipped his head up to gauge Izuku’s reactions, curling his finger inside him and thrusting it slowly once he whimpered. 

Izuku grabbed at the thin fabric of the sleeping bag underneath him, back arching into Shoto’s finger and clenching around him once he added another. He whimpered lightly, pressing the back of his hand to his lips to muffle any other sounds that might come from him. Their classmates were relatively distant from them, but still, the thought of some of them listening in to what they were doing was too embarrassing to bear. 

It was all too familiar to what he used to do with Kacchan. The muffling of his whimpers, the desperate writhing as he pushed into Shoto’s hand, trying to get more, more, more, the fact that they were doing it late at night, secretively . Shoto was more nervous than Kacchan was, though, his fingers slightly shaky as they moved inside him, but the focus was the same. He looked down at Izuku through a furrowed brow, face slicing through any nervousness that he might have. When Izuku glanced up at him for a moment, he swore it was Katsuki who had his fingers between his legs. 

Shoto crooked his fingers, and once Izuku sucked in a gasp to keep from crying out, he withdrew them, which only made Izuku whimper louder. He reached back over to his side, uncapping the lube again and pulling off his own underwear. “Do you think you’re ready?”

It was almost inaudible, Shoto’s voice only a few decibels above complete silence, and Izuku could tell he was trying so hard not to stutter. He nodded, pushing himself back up the sleeping bag as he leaned on his forearms. “Are you?”

Shoto had just finished tearing open the condom when he looked up, pausing with Izuku’s phrase, hesitating before he nodded in reply. “Yeah,” he rolled the condom onto himself, stopping once he reached his base, voice shaky and wavering. He moved back to Izuku, hovering on top of him. He leaned down and pecked his lips, pressing his forehead to Izuku’s and opening his thighs a tad wider. “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

Izuku couldn’t even mumble an answer before Shoto was halfway inside of him, his face moving from Izuku’s forehead and tucking itself into his neck as he bottomed out. Izuku could feel Shoto’s trembling hands, the tips of his fingers gripping at his hips to try and keep them steady, to no avail. Shoto’s entire body was shuddering, and from where Izuku was laying, he could feel Shoto’s heart palpitating. 

It had been so long since Izuku had a dick in his ass that it felt borderline foreign. His body had to remind itself that the feeling was familiar, that he didn’t need to be tense or anxious, it wasn’t anything overly significant; the only difference was that the cock belonged to Shoto and not Katsuki. 

Maybe not the only difference. Shoto was more careful, his hips didn’t smack against Izuku’s as he thrusted. It was a gentle shove, he’d pause while deep inside him, groaning against his shoulder from the tight heat. Shoto would pull out and tease himself, lingering with just the tip of his cock inside, before he plunged back in, repeating the cycle. 

Shoto was nothing like Katsuki. 

He dragged his hands up Shoto’s back, pulling him closer and grabbing at the skin of his shoulders. He didn’t dig his nails into his back like he would’ve with Katsuki, it was more eager than that, more yearning, like if he didn’t hold onto Shoto’s shoulders tightly, he’d disappear. His thighs began to tremble as he wrapped his legs around his waist, pushing his hips back against Shoto’s pace. 

“Please,” Izuku breathed, lips to the side of Shoto’s cheek. The warmth in his lower abdomen began to unravel slowly, his back arching off of the sleeping bag as he crept closer and closer. 

Shoto lost control, groaning lowly at Izuku’s aching request, his rhythm quickening. The tent’s thin walls were enough to mute the sound of the damp smacks and the sucking of Shoto’s lips on Izuku’s neck, enough to mute it for everyone except for them. 

“I’m close,” 

The words were rushed, the vibration in Shoto’s voice tickling Izuku’s neck and lower jaw as his grip on the sleeping bag tightened. “Fuck,” Shoto cursed, hips sputtering as he started to unravel, “fuck, Izuku.”

Izuku’s body went rigid at the same time as his orgasm, cock twitching against his stomach as it spurted and trickled onto his skin.

Izuku. 

That was the second time his name—his real name—was ever moaned, and it still made him uneasy. It didn’t sound as wrong falling from Shoto’s lips like it did from Katsuki’s, but it nonetheless made Izuku’s blood run cold. He focused himself elsewhere, like on Shoto, who was panting against his shoulder and just starting to pry himself off. 

Shoto dipped his hips down, pulling out of him at a snail’s pace, backing up against the sleeping bag on his knees as he rolled the condom off. He was sweating profusely, his bicolor hair clinging helplessly to his forehead as he huffed. He wiped his face with the back of his hand as he twisted the condom into a knot. “I should probably go clean myself up.” He chuckled, the first thing he said after his moans to lighten the heavy air. 

The tent smelled of sweat and sex and want, and it made Izuku delirious. “Me too,” he laughed right back after finding his bearings, sitting up on his hands and puffing a piece of hair out of his face. 

“There’s two bathrooms, I’ll go to one and you can go to the other, just so the others won’t laugh at us tomorrow morning.” He reached over to his side of the tent, grabbing his clothes and redressing. 

“Good idea.” Izuku was so out of it, he didn’t even remotely think of that. He didn’t even know there were two bathrooms. 

Shoto crawled over to the little makeshift door, unzipping the inside and quickly diving through, starting his race to the bathroom whilst trying not to get overly wet in the rain. Izuku figured he took the bathroom to the right, listening to his damp running that was growing farther and farther away. He wiped his cum off of his chest, pulling his own clothes on before he darted out of the tent, heading left toward a small, brown brick building that was fuzzy from the rain. 

He sprinted on his tiptoes, zigzagging to avoid deep puddles, his hair soaking up the rain and sticking to his face, becoming piecey and clinging to itself. He hopped onto the concrete base of the bathroom, ducking under the overhanging roof to get out of the rain. He pushed his hair out of his face before he headed inside, his footsteps leaving damp marks behind in the asphalt. 

Izuku jumped once he noticed there was a person in the bathroom, but his heart sunk once he realized who it was.

Katsuki turned around from the mirror, wringing his hands out and wiping them on his shorts from after he withdrew them from the sink. He scanned over Deku carefully, like a bird of prey examining its next victim, but his facial expression was much more gentle than it should have been. His eyes softened, though under heavy, knitted brows, and he straightened up where he stood. “You alright, Deku?”

Izuku was stiff. He couldn’t catch his breath, his chest heavy as he tried to subtly gulp down enough air so he wouldn’t pass out. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he had to concentrate so as to not pant out the words, making his way to a stall as hastily as he could and shutting the door. 

He caught his breath as he pulled a sheet of toilet paper from the holder, wiping off any residual cum from his chest and sweat and lube from his thighs. He pressed his back against the cold metal of the stall, focusing on the coolness of it against his skin to calm down as he counted his breaths. 

Fuck. Kacchan. Did he know? Did he hear? Shit, he was taking too long in the stall. 

He threw the small wadded ball of paper into the toilet, flushing it and unlatching the lock of the stall, and when he saw that Katsuki was still standing by the sink, he wanted to curl up and disappear. 

He made his way to a sink, just one over from Katsuki, turning the faucet and sticking his hands underneath the stream. 

Katsuki’s eyes still hadn’t wavered from him. Even when he was in the stall, he kept his eyes on where he knew his form was, even if he was only staring at a piece of faded magenta metal. He settled on a mark on Izuku’s neck, and after a half a second of processing, his chest squeezed. 

It was small, a mouth-sized dot on his neck, just under his jaw. It was purplish, with a blue undertone, and when he focused on it enough, Katsuki swore he could make out a few shallow teeth marks on the very edges of it. 

Katsuki had left hickeys there. He’d left hickeys there dozens of times, his lips knew that little nook very well, sucking down from his cheek and biting at the skin softly until it bruised under him. He pried his eyes off of the spot, and fixed back on Deku’s face.

Deku was glowing. He was glowing, and Katsuki remembered that exact look. He remembered how Deku would glow for him, cheeks aflame and hair all knotty, tufts of green spewing everywhere. It only further told Katsuki exactly what he and Todoroki were doing just moments before, and Katsuki recalled how it was once him that Deku was glowing for. Him that was leaving hickeys on Deku's neck.

“Deku.”

Izuku jumped, twisting the faucet off and turning his head toward Katsuki. “Yeah?”

“Was he better than me?”

Izuku went stiff again, but this time, he didn’t care if Katsuki heard his labored breaths. “I, I-I, um, I don’t—” 

No is what he wanted to say, the words jumping from his head. No, god no, he wasn’t better than you because he wasn’t you. 

“It’s fine.” Katsuki turned away from the sink, starting out of the bathroom. “Night, Deku.” 

Izuku watched the old wooden door close behind Katsuki, and in that moment, all he wanted to do was cry. He wanted to let a sob rip from his throat, bang his fists on the grimy tile wall until his knuckles bled. He wanted Katsuki. 

He wanted so badly for Katsuki to press him to the wall, lift him up onto the sinks and touch him like Shoto just had, touch him like how he used to. 

Did he miss him? Izuku wanted to lose himself in him. And it only made him feel painful pangs of guilt in his chest, and he hated it. 

He ran his hands over his face, turning around to the door and sulking back to the tent, where Shoto was already waiting for him.  Once he laid down, Shoto rolled over to sling his arm over his middle, and Izuku felt so guilty for being able to melt into him so easily.

Chapter Text

Katsuki ducked out from under the roof of the bathroom, hands shoved in his sweatpant pockets and shoulders hunched forward. The rain immediately soaked through his hair, dampening the edges as it pitter-pattered against his head. 

He made no effort to hurry back to his tent to escape from the rain, instead taking his time as he swerved past deepening puddles, avoiding the growing perimeters of the bigger ones. He kept his vision down, looking at himself as he darted between the puddles, catching small flashes of his reflection. 

A quick flare of lightning illuminated the beads of rain clinging to the ends of his hair, a distant crack of thunder echoing off of the trees beside him. 

Water from his hair slowly trickled down the side of his face, running all the way under his jaw before it finally dropped off of him. The droplets felt exactly like tears, and Katsuki honestly wasn’t sure if they weren’t. 

Katsuki inhaled. Damp mud and pine and rain and Izuku were the only things he could make out, and he clenched his fists from inside his pockets.

Izuku. 

Izuku smelled like sunny summer days and mandarin slices and kept promises. He smelled like home, like the Mustafu street he and Deku would race down when they were kids, and when they’d fuck Katsuki would try so hard to keep that smell on his pillow and on his bedsheets and on him for as long as possible. 

He still lingered. Katsuki could still faintly smell sweat and deodorant and the wetness of his hair, permeating throughout the bathroom as he stood there, in front of the mirror, internalizing the blush seeping across Izuku’s cheeks and the darkening purple mark on the side of his neck. His thoughts wandered to what else was there, what might be hiding under Izuku’s clothes that he couldn’t see, yet had seen a thousand times before from his own hands and his own mouth. 

Katsuki bent down to unzip the tent, stopping once he formed a big enough hole to crawl through. He turned back once he was all the way in, tightly zipping it back up so the rain wouldn’t leak in. 

“You took a while, you alright?” Tokoyami asked from his side of the tent, rolling over in his sleeping bag and sitting up just as Katsuki turned back around. 

“‘M fine.” He answered, leaving no room for a pause between Tokoyami’s question and his reply. He didn’t want to talk about it, not like he could, anyway. He wanted to ignore it, though he damn well knew he wouldn’t be able to. 

“Did something happen?” Tokoyami pressed, and Katsuki was caught by surprise; he didn’t think nagging was the damn bird’s style. He crawled into his sleeping bag, rolling over so his back was facing him. 

“No. I’m fine.” He grumbled to the fabric wall of the tent, shifting in his sleeping bag as he tried to make himself comfortable. Katsuki could feel Tokoyami’s eyes boring into the back of his head, the tension that settled so taut it could be cut with a knife. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tokoyami laid back down, the plasticy fabric of his sleeping bag dragging against itself. 

“Alright. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Katsuki, despite the raging emotions that were rapidly descending, was genuinely touched by the gesture. Even if he didn’t plan on opening his mouth about it, at least for now, a part of him enjoyed knowing that Tokoyami at least cared enough to extend a listening ear. “Thanks.”

He could hear him roll over to the same position Katsuki was in, their backs facing one another from across the tent, and Katsuki was finally given the silence and the privacy he needed to properly think about Izuku. 

Not like he ever stopped thinking about him since he left the bathroom, but this time, he let himself cry. 

It was quiet, he didn’t let himself outwardly sob or make a scene like he wanted to, but he let himself cry. The tears came before he even had a chance to stop them, dripping off of the end of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing even more out. 

He didn’t even know why he was so upset. This was bound to happen sometime. Not even the sex with Icy Hot, but Deku moving on in general, both of them moving on in general. He just thought Deku would be his for a little while longer. 

He didn’t think Deku would replace him so quickly, as if there was anything to replace. Katsuki was just the warm up, there was nothing to take his place, there was just Todoroki and their relationship and nothing before it. 

That’s how Deku was to Katsuki, too, he was something and someone he could forget and ignore and push to the back of his mind until the memory eventually fizzled out.

Except he wasn’t, and Katsuki hated himself for it. The entire thing that they had was started because Katsuki was too much of a stubborn pain in the ass to admit that he loved the damn nerd, he always had. So instead he kept the feelings surface level, waiting until the next time he fucked him and letting them out then and only then. 

That was a controlled space where Katsuki could do and feel whatever he wanted without having to worry about a million different eyes looking at him at once. A million different eyes who judged and whispered and told him he wasn’t good enough, who told him this is what you deserve for treating him like shit all those years.

And that was what he deserved. He spent so long trying to mask the anger he felt for being so attached to a quirkless fucking loser by beating him down and trying to pry a distance between them. He couldn’t love him if he hated him so fiercely, could he? 

But he knew he never really hated him. He never really could . Izuku was snow in a blizzard, clinging to every part of Katsuki no matter how hard he tried to brush him off. He stuck to the hardest parts of Katsuki, not just his hands and his mouth and the scowl that he’d scrunched his face into, but he stuck to the deepest parts of him, far in his chest, where no one else could reach. Katsuki wasn’t sure if he could reach it himself, but somehow, Izuku did. It was like that part was reserved just for him. 

He knew his inability to process what he felt was no excuse to treat him the way he did, but that was the only way he knew how to mask it. The bullying and the harsh shoves and punches to his arms were the only ways Katsuki knew how to deal with it without hating himself, even though the little part of him that was honest about loving him already did. So he projected that hate onto Izuku. 

Growing up, Katsuki was good at everything he did. He strove to be the best in even the most trivial things, from pre-school recess races to developing his quirk. He was a born natural at everything, everything except Izuku. So of course Katsuki hated him. He was the one and only exception to the rule. 

From beside his temple, his phone buzzed, illuminating the side of his cheek and half of his side of the tent. He sat up to grab it, checking to see who the fuck was texting him now and how hard he was going to kick their ass.

Deku: Are you okay?

Katsuki read over the message repeatedly before his phone screen faded back to black, and he contemplated ignoring it. He could just set his phone back down and roll over, be completely oblivious to it and any other message that might come in. It’d be so easy to pretend he never saw the message, to pretend he never saw Izuku and his messy hair and the fucking mark on his neck in the bathroom.

But he couldn’t. It itched at him, pricking him nonstop like a thorn driving its way into his finger. He couldn’t ignore it, not Izuku. 

Katsuki: I said I was fine

He pursed his lips. Now was the time to ignore it, to close his eyes and go to sleep and not care if Izuku saw it or responded. He pushed his thumb into the side of his phone, turning it off, but a half a second later a new message came in. He couldn’t help but swipe it open again

Deku: You didn’t look like it

God, Katsuki hated when he did that. When Deku read him like a book like he wasn’t even trying, pointed out the things about himself that he despised without a second thought. It was blunt and raw, and Katsuki was blindsided by it every time.

He’d always been like that, cutting right to the core of people, Katsuki wasn’t the only one. Hell, even Icy Hot had been on the other end of it a few times, with his whole “it’s yours, your quirk not his!” spiel at the sports festival. Izuku had a knack for prying his way into people’s feelings, pulling out their deepest insecurities and forcing them to acknowledge it. Even if he didn’t mean to, he had a remarkable way of finding people’s weakest spot. 

Izuku was always Katsuki’s weakest spot.

Katsuki: I’m sure

The immediate Read 12:53 AM and the fact that the grey bubble didn’t pop up told Katsuki that his subtle zinger was making Izuku think. It took more than a few seconds for the three dots to appear, like Katsuki was watching him ponder in real time. He could see it clearly, the screen illuminating Deku’s face as he thought, his thumb and forefinger mindlessly pulling out his bottom lip as he meditated on a reply. 

Deku: I’m sorry

Katsuki: For what

Deku: Idk. I just thought I should be sorry

Katsuki bit down his bottom lip and turned his phone off, setting it face down next to his sleeping bag before he rolled over. 

Izuku stared at the bottom of his last message. 

Read 12:57 AM

It was like it was mocking him, like the words knew exactly how he was overthinking and staring intently at the screen and waiting for the bubble that indicated that Kacchan was typing, that Kacchan was still there. He stared at his phone for almost three minutes before he gave up. 

He shifted as he set his phone down, Shoto’s arms hooking tighter around his chest as he settled back into him. 

Izuku was too comfortable with Shoto after his incident with Katsuki in the bathroom. If he could even call it an “incident”, it was barely a conversation, less than twenty words spoken to each other and yet it left Izuku yearning and guilty. 

Guilty for both Katsuki and Shoto.

It felt like he was cheating on Katsuki, even though he damn well knew he wasn’t. They never were actually dating, all they did was fuck and sleep in the same bed, so why should he feel guilt for “cheating”? He didn’t technically do anything wrong, all he did was agree to a few dates with Shoto. He didn’t ask to go on them, he didn’t ask to be Shoto’s boyfriend, it just happened to work out that way. It wasn’t like he wanted to fall in love.

Oh, god. He’d fallen in love.

Which was why he felt so guilty with Shoto. He stood in that bathroom after Katsuki left wanting nothing more than for him to return and fuck him until he screamed. All he did was have a conversation with Katsuki, he didn’t go after him, didn’t even so much as take a single step. All he did was create a brief fantasy in his head for less than five minutes, but that was enough to bring on a weight of guilt that he couldn’t ignore.

He loved Shoto. He did, he couldn’t deny it. He loved the time he spent with him, loved how warm he felt against him as they laid together, loved the floaty feeling he’d get whenever they kissed. Izuku was in love with him, and it was so frustrating that he was still hung up on Katsuki. 

No matter how much he wanted to ignore it or pretend that it wasn’t there, he would always be hung up on Katsuki. 

No matter how in love with Shoto he was, he would always be hung up on Katsuki.

Izuku picked up his phone again and typed a message, his heart pounding so hard in his chest it nearly made him feel sick.

Izuku: I miss you

Chapter Text

Katsuki knew he shouldn’t check his phone. He didn’t need to, there was no reason for him to. He could just let the brightness fade and ignore the message, leave it there for later, leave it there for morning-him to deal with.

But he knew he couldn’t.

Not when he knew exactly who the message came from. Katsuki rolled over, groaning at the blue light like he’d done just a few minutes before, and swiped his thumb across the screen to open up the message before he changed his mind. 

Once he read it, he wished he had. He stared at it for far too long, dragging his tired eyes across the words carefully and picking them apart like they were something to be dissected. It felt like a dream, and once Katsuki’s thigh registered the fingernails digging into it, he realized it wasn’t a dream at all. 

It felt like a dream, but not a good one. Not one that felt like the distant memory of fireflies and warmth and summer. It wasn’t exactly a nightmare, but Katsuki wanted to wake up from it as soon as possible anyway. 

Katsuki: I think it’s a little too late for that

He chewed on his lip as he watched Deku type, the little bubble disappearing and reappearing every few seconds, which only made him more on edge. 

What the fuck was this? Deku missed him? What the hell was that supposed to mean, and how the fuck was Katsuki supposed to take that? Deku was dating Icy Hot now, dating as in boyfriend, dating as in they just fucked and he had to see Deku right after. There was no sugarcoating it. 

Deku: I know. I’m sorry

Katsuki let the reply simmer before he started to type.

Katsuki: The hell are you sorry for?

Deku’s response came almost immediately, there was no tension-riddled anxiety while watching the little bubble. He texted back so fast, Katsuki didn’t even have time to turn his phone off. 

Deku: Everything

Katsuki couldn’t stand looking at the word. It filled him with a dark cloud of dread, swirling around him until he shut off his phone, setting it beside his head on his pillow as he thought. 

Everything.

What was everything? Was it their entire affair, which wasn’t even an affair, it was just two people, two friends who were hardly even friends before they started fucking. Surely he didn’t regret that, his repeated visits to Katsuki’s dorm told him that much. Was it him and Todoroki’s relationship, was Deku apologizing for rubbing it in his face, even if he didn’t mean to? Is that what he meant? 

Fuck, Katsuki hated this. He hated mulling over the thoughts so much that it made his fingers anxiously fiddle under his sleeping bag, like he was the god damned nerd when he overthought. He was muttering in his head, and the spiral of thoughts were enough to make his entire body ache. 

He snatched his phone from his pillow and typed out a response. 

Katsuki: Meet me at the bathroom in ten minutes

Fuck it.

Izuku was trembling by the time the message came in. 

Shoto was dead asleep by now, his arm loosely draped over his middle as he lightly breathed, the tip of his nose tickling the back of Izuku’s neck. He shifted, shimmying out of Shoto’s grasp until his hand fell onto the empty space where Izuku was in the sleeping bag. He turned, slowly, just to make sure Shoto was still asleep, and once he confirmed it, he stumbled out of the tent as quietly as he could.

The rain had since subsided, ceasing into nothing more than a light drizzle that Izuku could barely even feel. He side-stepped to avoid the heavier muddy puddles, his sneakers slipping into the softened grass as he tried to find his footing. He wrung his hands in front of himself as he walked, skimming over the mirroring puddles as he passed by. 

They reflected back his face, darkened by nighttime, but he could still make out his features: his green hair, the tip of his nose, his eyes framed by the light freckles on his cheeks. If Shoto were beside him, he would’ve complimented him, kissed his cheek and told him he looked pretty.

But he wasn’t.

All Izuku saw was himself reflected back in that puddle. He saw an anxious, confused fool, with a sheepish, terrified look on his face. Kacchan would’ve laughed at him if he saw him like this just a year or so ago. 

Izuku climbed up onto the concrete foundation of the bathroom, hanging his head as he walked through the door and prepared himself for an onslaught of confused yelling and frustrated fumes billowing from Katsuki’s palms.

Instead he confronted with silence, which, in a way, was worse.

Katsuki was leaning on the wall, back against the grimy tile as Izuku walked in, hands folded across his chest. “You alright?”

That only made Izuku feel worse. Why wasn’t Kacchan screaming at him, calling him a shitty idiot and reaming him a new one? He wasn’t supposed to be concerned for how he was doing, he was supposed to be angry. 

“I’m fine.”

Katsuki pushed himself off of the wall, sulking his shoulders as he edged closer to Deku, his eyebrows furrowing above his droopy and tired eyes. Izuku wrung his hands as he drifted closer.

“What is this, Deku?” He wasn’t yelling, in fact he sounded uncharacteristically calm, if a little sad. “What are we, huh?”

Izuku sensed the frustration in his wavering voice, even under the veil of calm and the twang of dejection. “I, I don’t know.” He hesitated in his answer, looking up at Katsuki at the last word as he shifted his shoes on the bathroom floor.

Katsuki shook his head. “No, no, don’t do that, don’t tell me you don’t know. Don’t bullshit me. What are we, Deku?” 

Izuku fought off the tears quickly welling, heat flooding his cheeks as he bit down on the inside of his lip to keep from crying. “What do you want us to be?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Izuku exhaled slowly, squeezing out a few tears and wiping them with the back of his hand. “I love him, Kacchan. I do.”

Katsuki didn’t even flinch. The words sunk right into him, yet he never reacted, there wasn’t even so much as a twitch from his brow. There was nothing, just blank calm. Emptiness. “That’s all I needed to know.” 

Izuku’s throat was rapidly constricting, growing tighter the more he fought off the tears. “I’m sorry, Kacchan, I—”

“It’s fine.” Katsuki interrupted. He didn’t want to watch him apologize, the cracks in his voice were hard enough, hearing him apologize would only destroy him more. “It’s fine, Deku, I swear. I’m not mad or anything.” Which wasn’t entirely true, but he wasn’t mad at Deku, more mad at himself. Angry that he let himself feel this way and simmered in it for too long. He knew this would shatter him, and he hated it. 

Deku nodded and wiped his face again, clearing his cheeks of any rogue tears that might’ve slipped past his restraint. “I know,” he admitted, turning to walk out, his lip already too-bitten and starting to bleed. “Just, let me be sorry anyway.”

Katsuki was left alone in that bathroom, and for a split second, he contemplated collapsing onto his knees on the floor.

The walk of shame back to the tent was even worse the second time. Katsuki didn’t know it was possible to feel even more empty than he already did, but he was cruelly reminded that wasn’t true. 

He quietly unzipped the tent again, crawling in as silently as he possibly could, hobbling over to his little corner to try and get himself comfortable enough to try and ignore everything that had just happened. 

It’s not like Katsuki could be surprised. It was all entirely expected, between their too-closeness and sneaked kisses and Izuku’s fucked up hair and that mark on his neck in the bathroom. It was inevitable that Izuku loved him, why wouldn’t he?

Katsuki swore he could still lightly smell pine and the faintest hint of strawberry lip balm as he laid back down.

Chapter Text

“It’s Midoriya, isn’t it?” Tokoyami asked from beside Katsuki on the bus, turning from the window to look at him.

Training camp had been uneventful. Which was good, considering the circumstances of the last one they attended. There was no villain bullshit to deal with, just Aizawa’s instructions and long days. Katsuki focused on developing more of his quirk, and avoided Izuku like the plague. Hearing Tokoyami say his name gave him whiplash.

“What?!” He hissed, quickly craning his head in the bird’s direction.

Tokoyami was unphased. “The person you like. It’s Midoriya, isn’t it?” 

He said it so calmly, like it was glaringly obvious, and it drove Katsuki mad. He shifted in his seat, folding his arms across his chest in a huff before his face softened. “How could you tell?”

Tokoyami grinned and leaned out from his chair a few inches, glancing around Katsuki to where Todoroki and Izuku sat. “The way you’ve been acting around him. And you keep looking back there for a few seconds.”

Katsuki was surprised. Tokoyami looked like the observant type, but he didn’t realize he was that observant. Tokoyami looked right through him without even trying, even straight past Katsuki’s buffers that he put in place so no one could ever tell he was even a little bit soft for the nerd. “It was that easy to tell, huh?”

Tokoyami shrugged and sat back, facing back to the window. “Eh. Not really. I have to say I’m surprised, especially with the way you—“ Katsuki cut him off with an icy look, one that read I already know, don’t go there . “—treated him in the past.” Tokoyami paused, inhaling deeply before he sighed. “So, does he know you like him?”

Katsuki had to hold in a chuckle. “Something like that.”

“Did you tell him before or after Todoroki?”

Katsuki’s eyes went glassy. He set his jaw, leaning on the armrest of his seat and holding his head up with his fist. “Both.”

He lied through his teeth. He never told Deku the truth, in fact he skirted around the topic as much as he possibly could. Fucking him was one thing, but being open and honest, being vulnerable like that, was another. He’d rather keep quiet and never tell Deku about it than be so exposed like that, even if it broke his heart in the process. 

“And he didn’t reciprocate?”

Katsuki shrugged. “Guess not.”

He actually didn’t know if Deku felt the same. He figured he at least had to have a fraction of attraction for him, to keep coming back to his dorm late at night, even if it was purely surface level. Frankly, Katsuki had no idea how Deku felt. If he had feelings for him, they surely were no longer a pressing matter, as Katsuki was painfully aware of. 

Katsuki had never seen Tokoyami truly at a loss for words. It was almost unsettling, usually he was someone who always knew what to say, even if the situation was shitty. “I’m sorry, Bakugou.”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little. What do you tell a person in this situation? That everything will be alright, that they’ll find someone else and forget all about the person they cared about who was now with someone else? They’d forget all about the person they had to watch kiss and fuck and fall in love with someone else?

Katsuki shrugged. “Stop fuckin’ apologizing. Not your fault.” 

Tokoyami laughed sadly, turning back to the window. “I know. Just figured you could use some sympathy.”

Katsuki appreciated the thought, and couldn’t hold back his grin. “I don’t need your sympathy.” He tried to keep up his no-fucks facade, but he was finding it difficult. It was nice having someone who cared about him. He had his friends, sure, but this felt different. Like Katsuki could raz him and not have to worry about Tokoyami pouting about it.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “So, what gave it away?”

Tokoyami pondered for a second on how to answer, a layer of feathers tightening above his eyes. “You completely avoided him during camp. Even in passing, you wouldn’t even look at him.”

That was true. Training was mostly quirk development and working with a small group of teams occasionally, but even then Katsuki avoided Deku as much as he possibly could. He’d avert his attention elsewhere, like telling off Kaminari for doing something stupid or turning around in the opposite direction to circumvent eye contact with him. 

“You also seemed edgy when he was near, or when people brought him up. More so than you usually are, anyway.”

That, Katsuki hadn’t noticed, but now that Tokoyami mentioned it, he realized how often it occurred. From hearing four eyes say his name from afar to Kirishima bringing up Deku’s training regiment the one day, Katsuki would grow antsy and want the subject to change. Even just a few minutes before, with Tokoyami mentioning his surname, he grew defensive. It wasn’t like how he used to be, when Deku’s name being brought up would make his eyes roll and his tongue click in annoyance. This felt much different.

Katsuki nodded as Tokoyami spoke, replaying all of the instances of the examples in his head. “You think anyone else noticed?”

Tokoyami shook his head. “No, not in my opinion. It took me a while to notice and realize it myself.” He spoke in confidence.

That was a relief. At least Katsuki didn’t have to worry about that, it would’ve destroyed him knowing he was acting too obvious. Tokoyami knowing was more than enough. He was the only soul besides Katsuki himself who knew his secret, and that was already one too many. 

Katsuki nodded slowly, glancing back into the corner of his vision just for a second before he snapped out of it. 

“You, uh, you wouldn’t mind keeping it a secret, would you?” 

Katsuki wasn’t one to beg, let alone ask politely for anything, ever. Especially to another classmate. But this required a little bit of finesse, and he figured being even slightly nice couldn’t hurt.

Tokoyami shook his head. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Katsuki exhaled and let go of the armrest he was gripping. “Thank you.”

The bus arrived back at UA much later than anyone had anticipated, the sun having already gone down at least an hour before their return. 

Everyone was eager to stretch their legs and get off of the damn thing, dragging their feet out of their seats and slugging their way to their dorms so they could crash in a comfortable place for the first time since before the camp had started. 

It was only eight o’clock, usually prime time for the class to hang out in the common area, but yet the dorms were quiet. Everyone had gone to bed, and if they weren't in bed yet, they were on their way, hauling their luggage to their rooms before hastily shutting the door and passing out before they even hit the pillow.

Katsuki was no exception.

He couldn’t wait to return to the warmth and comfort of his own dorm, wrapping himself in privacy and finally having a space where he could truly be alone. 

Katsuki tugged his bag down the dorm room hallway, rubbing his eyes with his free hand as he neared his door. 

He caught Izuku on the way to his own dorm, and for the first time in two days, they locked gazes. It was fleeting and brief, but Katsuki lived in that moment for as long as he possibly could. It wasn’t far off from the same look they gave each other when they knew they’d be seeing one another that night, when Katsuki knew Izuku would be knocking on his door and he’d be able to be Katsuki’s for a few hours. 

Katsuki swore he saw the same amount of want in the green of Deku’s eyes, but he knew he was just imagining it. 

Chapter Text

The class was given no time to cool down from the high after camp ended.

They went from getting off the bus back to getting right back to school, with no room in between to simmer down. They were on a constant boil for a few days, until the long-awaited day off finally came.

For the first time in no one knew how long, the dorms were completely still during daylight hours. There wasn’t even so much as a soul in the common area watching TV, no Kaminari or Ashido or Sero giggling in the kitchen. It was a complete ghost town, minus the occasional few friends spending time in a dorm, but even then, they kept quiet. 

The quiet day bled into an even quieter night, and Izuku found himself tiptoeing down the hallway even though he had no reason to. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he grinned. Shoto was so god damned impatient. 

They’d been texting for a few hours, teasing each other about making the twenty foot trek to one of their dorms until Izuku decided to say fuck it.

He rapped his knuckles on his door for a moment before he opened it, chuckling as he watched Shoto sit up from his bed. “I was on my way, you know.”

Shoto giggled and met Izuku halfway from the door, tilting his chin up and leaning down to peck his lips. “I know, but you hadn’t texted me back. I missed you.” He pecked him again, pouting in between.

Izuku rolled his eyes, slinging his arms over Shoto’s shoulders and standing on his toes to reach the side of his face. “You missed me?”

The suggestiveness in his voice made Shoto shiver, and his fingers gripped Izuku’s hips a little bit tighter. “I did.”

Izuku kissed his cheek and chuckled, pulling back. “Show me how much you missed me.”

Izuku could tell that Shoto was surprised at his sudden brazenness, and he mentally smacked himself in the face. Sometimes he forgot that Shoto wasn’t Kacchan, that his outward desire and cheeky smirks were all new to him and not something he expected. 

With Kacchan, he didn’t even have to try and hide how much he wanted him. It wasn’t something Izuku really thought about, he just did, it was a given at that point. The door would close and it was like every breath he exhaled contributed to the lust. Every action, every whimpered “please” only added to the aching want. Eliminating parts of that was a learning curve with Shoto. 

Shoto was so much different than Kacchan, but Izuku didn’t know how to act with anyone who wasn’t Kacchan. 

Shoto’s shock and borderline discomfort rapidly melted away to eager reciprocation, his fingers pressing into Izuku’s skin and slowly pushing him toward the edge of his bed. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it as the back of Izuku’s knees hit the mattress. Izuku could feel slight heat from his left hand as a blush swept across Shoto’s face. He leaned in, lips dragging down his neck as he pressed Izuku down onto the sheets. 

His fingers were no longer shaky as he lifted Izuku’s shirt from his shoulders and moved on to his own pants. After the second or third time, Shoto had grown used to the ritual of it all, nothing about it surprised him anymore, and he was able to do everything without getting in his head and letting his hands tremble. 

Shoto’s growing confidence only made Izuku want him more. He noticed that Shoto held him a little tighter, pushed their bodies closer together, pulled moans out of Izuku like it was nothing. He’d been leaving more and more marks—hickeys, fingerprint-sized bruises, bites—all over Izuku, from his neck and collarbone to his hips and between his thighs, and Izuku loved thinking about them every time he shifted in his seat in class. 

Shoto reached over the side of his bed, momentarily lifting himself from Izuku’s neck to grab a condom from the box sitting on the floor beside his nightstand. He sat up on his knees, rolling backwards to get his pants off. “Can you-”

“I’ll stretch myself,” Izuku interrupted, his boxers already halfway down his calves while Shoto spoke. He opened Shoto’s bedside table drawer, rummaging through various possessions—a hairbrush, some lip balm, a little container of lotion—for a second before his hand hit the bottle of lube. He knew exactly where it was, he didn’t even have to lift his head off of the pillow. Shoto nodded, and Izuku could tell he was trying to hide his blush as he bowed his head back down to pull his underwear off. 

Izuku popped the cap of the lube, smearing a dollop onto a few fingers and staring at Shoto as he moved them to his rim. He arched his back to get a better angle, inhaling and inserting his middle finger, exhaling as he pushed it up to the first knuckle. 

Shoto finally picked his head up, having gotten the red in his face under control, and his hand impulsively darted down to his cock when his gaze landed on Izuku in front of him. He let out an involuntary moan, and when Izuku added a second finger, he pumped his hand on himself, slowly. “I was thinking, um,” he hesitated, softly bucking his hips into his palm, “maybe you could be on top? Possibly?”

Izuku tried not to look so surprised, but he couldn’t even help his own blush at that point. “You, you want me to ride you?” It was a lot less sexy when he put it so blatantly, but he didn’t care. And taking from Shoto’s roughly bitten lip, Izuku figured he didn’t either. 

“Fuck yes,” Shoto breathed between strokes, swallowing thickly and trying not to make so much noise. “Please. If that’s okay with you.”

Izuku parted his fingers inside of himself, the burn from the stretch forcing a seething hiss from him as he nodded. “I can.” He answered, tilting his head back as he withdrew his fingers and sat back up, scooting on his knees closer to Shoto. “Can you lay down?”

Shoto pressed their lips together for a moment, lingering on him as they pulled away and he fell down onto the mattress. He ripped open the foil wrapper, pulling the condom out and rolling it onto himself as Izuku shifted onto his lap. 

“You ready?” He asked, hands wandering to Izuku’s waist as he lifted himself up.

Izuku steadied Shoto’s cock with his one hand, arching his hips and lining up the head with his hole, the very tip of it grazing him as he focused. He nodded, flickering his eyes to Shoto’s face as he sunk down, sucking in a gasp as he lowered all the way.

He’d never done this before. The feeling was foreign; not the stretch of a cock inside him, but the angle and depth and everything . There was nothing to buffer, Izuku was the one controlling how deep it was inside, not the other way around, where he took whatever Kacchan or Shoto gave him. It made his thighs tremble, and when he rolled his hips experimentally, he thought he was going to cum then and there. 

Shoto groaned from under him, the sound bubbling from the back of his throat and forcing his lips to part. He gripped Izuku’s waist harshly, eyes fluttering half open to stare up at him. “Fuck,” he stretched the word out in another groan, dragging it all over Izuku’s hips as he pushed himself up into him. 

Izuku started a steady rhythm, rocking his hips back and forth and digging his fingernails into Shoto’s chest as he sped up, chasing the bolts of heat that shot through him when Shoto’s cock brushed against the spot inside him that drove him wild. He whimpered, choking out a few forced “Shoto” s as his hips smacked against his. 

“Fuck, you look so pretty riding me like that,” Izuku watched Shoto’s eyes move from his face to between his legs, watching his own cock disappear inside him as he dragged his hips up and down. “You look so fucking perfect like this, Izuku.”

Shoto’s dirty talk was hot, but always contained underlying sweetness that Izuku could never get enough of. He could be so disgustingly filthy at times, but he always sewed adoration and care into the words he groaned, and Izuku loved every single utterance. He could listen to Shoto telling him he was so pretty being impaled on his cock for hours. 

His name still made him go cold, but Izuku was too focused to care, too determined to keep hitting that spot to dwell on his name being moaned. 

He dragged his fingers down Shoto’s chest, tensing and rolling his head back as he chased his high, grinding down on his waist and moving quicker. “S-Sho,” He couldn’t even get his entire name out, voice wavering in between the syllables as his body went warm. 

“Close already?” Shoto’s chuckle was dark, his hands curling around Izuku’s back as he held him tighter. 

Izuku nodded rapidly, the warmth collecting in his lower abdomen and quickly simmering into a boil. “Yes, fuck!”

His thoughts stammered, racing a million different things at once as he bounced on Shoto’s cock. He couldn’t even form a coherent sentence, but one thought stood out amongst the rest, one that was recurring and that he couldn’t ignore. 

Would tonight be the night? Now, in the middle of riding—in the middle of fucking— him? Yes, yes he had to, it had to be now, it had to be tonight. There wasn’t a more perfect time but now, with him completely blissed out and Shoto’s hands on his waist and his cock in his ass and his name rolling oh so perfectly off of Shoto’s lips as he praised him for looking so fucking pretty . Yes. It had to be now.    

“Fuck, fuck, Shoto, I love you,” Izuku whimpered it as he came, panting heavily as his pace continued, “I love you, fuck, I love you.”

He repeated it a few times as he descended from his orgasm, and once the haze began to part, he felt Shoto’s rigidness. 

Izuku rolled over off of him, hitting the mattress with an exhausted thud as he panted up at the ceiling. Shoto hadn’t said a word since. He rolled the condom off of himself in silence, sitting up and tying it in a knot and tossing it into his trash bin without even offering even a sound. 

Izuku didn’t want to break the silence, but he sensed that something was wrong. He didn’t want to bring it up, he wanted to ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist, but it pestered him and wouldn’t leave him alone. He had to know. “Did I do something-”

Shoto cut him off quickly. “You love me?”

Izuku’s heart sank. He didn’t want to answer. “Yes.”

Shoto sat on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and eyes fixed on a part of his wall in front of him. “I don’t think we have the same view of this relationship.” 

All Izuku wanted to do was cry. How could he be so stupid? He rushed into it, he said it way too soon, and now he was scaring Shoto away. He knew it was a stupid idea, but he did it anyway. He did it anyway, and now he had to stare at the back of Shoto’s head and the side of his tense face because he didn’t want to turn around. He didn’t want to turn around and look at him. 

“I’m guessing you don’t feel the same way.”

Shoto’s head dropped, and he dragged his hands across his face. He didn’t seem angry, which was a small relief to Izuku, but it was obvious that he had no idea what to say. 

“No, I mean, not like that, but—” Shoto sighed, stumbling over the words before he shifted and turned around to face him, finally. “No. I don’t. I’m sorry.” He turned back around just as fast as he faced him, draping his arms around himself.

“I don’t think this can continue, Midoriya.”

That cut deeper than anything Shoto could’ve said. Not the fact that he didn’t love him, not the fact that he was breaking up with him right after they fucked. The fact that in an instant, Izuku went back to “Midoriya.” He was certain that Shoto didn’t mean it that way, that it wasn’t meant as a low blow, just a simple old force of habit, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He’d lost everything in an instant.

“Okay.” 

It took every ounce of strength he had to not burst into tears at that moment. He wanted to, god did he want to, the tears welling in his eyes and wanting to spill over onto his cheeks in the worst way, but he bit them down for now. He stood up from Shoto’s bed, redressing himself in silence.

“I’m sorry.” Shoto still faced his wall, gaze not even wavering to look at Izuku as he left. 

Izuku swallowed the tightness in his throat, overcoming it enough for him to say something. “It’s fine.” He left the room without giving Shoto time to reply, and was quickly enveloped by the darkness of the hallway. Not even stray reflections from a street lamp or faint moonlight lit the outskirts of the hall, it was just an endless dark abyss, parted by Izuku walking back to his dorm.

Once he finally reached the sanctuary of his room, the silence was deafening. From deep in his chest, he choked out the sob he’d been suppressing.

Chapter Text

When Izuku imagined heartbreak, he imagined that it would feel something like he’d seen in movies. 

Someone crying and sitting in bed or on the couch watching a romantic comedy and eating an entire container of ice cream by themselves. They’d blubber and weep, a sea of tissues scattered around them, creating their own personal cloud of despair. 

He didn’t imagine that it would feel like he was suffocating. 

Izuku stumbled into his room once the door closed behind him, catching himself on the wall so he wouldn’t collapse on the floor. He set his palm flat, slinking down to his knees and inhaling a stuttered breath.

Heartbreak felt like the world was crumbling all around him, that the earth cracked open and destroyed him all at once. It wasn’t a gradual pain, like the ache from a bruise, it was complete blinding pain. It was a nonstop, constant throbbing that couldn’t be remedied. 

Izuku wanted to claw his way into his chest and rip his heart out so he wouldn’t have to feel the pain of it anymore. Anything would be better than having to continue to feel it breaking. 

He involuntarily let out a sob from the floor, immediately bringing the back of his hand up to his lips to muffle any other sound. It was loud, ripping out of him so violently that it made him tremble, squeezing out a tidal wave of tears that came crashing down on his cheeks.

The heartbreak left him breathless. 

Not in a good way, like when Todoroki would touch him in all the perfect spots and steal the gasp off of his lips. This felt like the air was being stolen from his body faster than he could replace it. This felt like drowning. 

Izuku slumped against the wall, leaning his temple on the cool drywall as the tears continued to spill. He draped his arms around himself, digging his nails into his biceps just light enough to leave a mark but not hard enough to draw blood. He did it without thinking, just to feel something other than the wetness on his face and the overwhelming throbbing grief radiating throughout his entire body. It was slightly painful, but the little dull pain from his nails was nothing compared to everything else. If anything, it was a welcome distraction. 

Could Todoroki still even be his friend? Now he had to go about his day, pretending like Todoroki hadn’t just broken his heart. Surely their friends would have to know, but even then, how would they react? Would the dynamic of their little group change, now that they were done? They surely had to act differently in front of each other now, even if it wasn’t drastic. They had history now. 

Though, he didn’t really act very different with Kacchan. They remained relatively the same even through their little arrangement. Afterwards they grew a bit quieter with each other, but it wasn’t that big of a change. And even still, they didn’t have the history he and Todoroki had. They weren’t open about it, weren’t known as a couple to the whole damn class.

Kacchan. 

A part of him wanted to stand up and walk right down to Kacchan’s dorm and never leave. He wouldn’t even knock, he’d just march right in and crawl under the blankets and drown himself in the smell of his faint sweetness and lavender air freshener and Kacchan. He just wanted their subtle entanglement again, he just wanted Kacchan to drag his ankle up his calf and make his face go red. 

But Izuku also wanted Kacchan to push him into the mattress and fuck him until he couldn’t think. He wanted Kacchan to fuck him until it didn’t hurt anymore. 

God, he was so stupid. He was so fucking stupid. Izuku had just gotten his heart torn into pieces by Todoroki, who he loved, and all he could think about was Kacchan. He knew it was always Kacchan, and that’s what made him so stupid.

Izuku did this to himself. He did this to himself, and he didn’t have anyone to blame but himself. Sure, Todoroki broke his heart, but it was his own fault for rushing it because he wanted to prove to himself that he was over Kacchan. That he could love someone else.

And he could. But that all fell to shit, and now he was sitting on his dorm room floor, crying in the dark. Some proof that was.

Izuku knew he should make his way to his bed, but he didn’t want to. He wasn’t even sure if he had the strength to wobble his way over to his mattress, it would require too much energy that he frankly didn’t have. No, he’d stay on his floor, sleep against the wall. He’d deal with standing when he woke up in the morning. 

He took his phone out of his pocket, the screen illuminating his face and making his eyes go half lidded as they adjusted. He stared down at the little “press home to unlock” prompt under the circular button at the bottom, tempted to press it and go straight to his messages. He was so tempted to text Kacchan and ask him if he was awake, if he minded if he came over. Izuku considered it, but once the screen faded to black, he sat his phone down next to his knee and tilted his head back to the wall. 

He was pathetic. He couldn’t even deal with his heartbreak alone, he was itching for comfort for something that he did to himself. 

Izuku sniffled, shifting his legs so he would be curled up against the wall to keep himself warm. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, blinking out a few more tears he didn’t bother to wipe away. They’d only be replaced in a second anyway, so there was no point in trying to dry his face. 

He tried to whimper out a sob, but it ended up bubbling from his chest, breaking out of him even more violently than the first one. He quickly slapped a hand to his mouth, sucking in air from his hand and hiccuping on it. He tried so hard not to be too loud, not to be a bother and disturb the people in the rooms around him with his crying, to no avail. 

Izuku cupped his face in his hands, and cried. 

Katsuki rolled over from where he was laying, turning over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling in frustration. 

He hadn’t been able to sleep.

Not because of anything in particular, at least he didn’t think. It was just one of those nights, where he could shut his eyes and know he wouldn’t be able to sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep, so he was stuck looking up at his ceiling in the dark and waiting for the sun to come up. Katsuki closed his eyes and huffed, dragging his phone off of his nightstand in annoyance.

He opened it, swiping his thumb across the screen to his pages of apps, but didn’t want to open any. What was he going to do, open YouTube or something, watch a stupid video in a feeble attempt at trying to lull himself to sleep? Maybe play a stupid game with fuck-knows-who at 1:30am? Katsuki groaned, throwing his phone down next to him and setting his arm on his forehead.

He wasn’t sure if it was real or if it was a late-night hallucination, but he swore he heard a whimper through the silence. 

It was faint, something that he wouldn’t have even noticed if he was shifting in bed, the sound would’ve been drowned out by the shuffling of the sheets. Another came, almost immediately after the first, and he knew it was real. He couldn’t quite make out where it was coming from, but it was a whimper, clear as day. 

It didn’t sound sexual, like a whine of pleasure, but it didn’t seem like a suppressed whimper of laughter either. He thought it could’ve been Kaminari or Sero trying to stifle down a giggle, failing as they burst at the seams but also trying to keep it as quiet as possible at the same time.

Another came, and he knew it wasn’t from fucking or from laughter. Someone was crying. 

Who the fuck is crying at this hour? And over what? Katsuki thought to himself and sat up, tilting his head to the side to try and listen for any more. Was someone watching a sad movie or something? Who the hell would watch a movie like that at 1am?

There was a pause for a minute or two, before there was another whimper, slightly louder this time, and Katsuki recognized it instantly.

Deku. That was a Deku cry. He could recognize it anywhere, the suppressed, choked sob, the faint sniffle that came right after it. It’d been the same since they were kids, while he would comfort Izuku after he’d skin his knee on the pavement, back before Katsuki was the reason why he was crying. 

Katsuki slid off the side of his bed and stood, making his way to his door and opening it just a crack, poking his face out to make sure no one was in the hallway. He opened it wider once he concluded that the hall was empty, stepping out of it and shutting his door behind him before he started down toward Deku’s dorm. 

He stepped carefully, walking as quiet as possible as he stopped in front of Deku’s door. He stood there for a second, listening for the whimper, the sniffle, and once he heard it, he opened the door a crack.

“Deku..?” He whispered, getting the door open enough to flick the light on, his eyes finding Deku down on the floor beside the wall. 

Izuku jumped, grabbing at his chest and whipping around. “Fuck-Kacchan?” He hiccuped, trying to keep his voice down despite his startlement. He quickly wiped his face, curling away from the wall as he looked up at Katsuki while his eyes adjusted to the light. 

Great. He’d been so loud that Kacchan heard, and now here he was, standing in his room watching him weep on the floor. He couldn’t even pretend that he wasn’t crying, it was more than obvious from his damp cheeks and the fact that he was leaning on the wall. 

“What’re you doing here-“

“What happened?” 

Katsuki closed his door behind him and Izuku sniffled, rolling over off of his knees. He had no reason to lie, and he knew Kacchan would pry it out of him anyway if he did. “Todoroki, he, he and I-“

Katsuki shook his head. “I got it.” 

That was all he needed. Half-and-Half and Deku broke up, and that’s why Deku was sitting on his bedroom floor sobbing at 1:35am. He didn’t need to know the details of it, frankly he didn’t want to know, all he needed to know was that he and Todoroki broke up. 

“C’mon, stand up. You look like shit.” Katsuki took a step toward him, extending his hand.

Izuku looked up from his hand, scanning up his arm before he reached Katsuki’s face. “Huh..?” He asked, wiping his nose again.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and sighed. “Don’t make me repeat myself. Stand up, c’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Izuku took his hand, hoisting to his feet as Katsuki turned to his bathroom and clicked the light on. “Wait here.” He said, pulling him into the room and pushing the shower curtain open, leaning down to turn the faucet on to fill the tub. 

“Kacchan, no, you don’t have to-“

“Shut up. Get undressed, and sit down on the toilet for me.” Katsuki was having none of his protests, shoving his hand under the faucet to make sure the water wasn’t too hot. 

Izuku chewed on his cheek, tugging at the hem of his shirt and letting it fall to the floor. He wiped his face again, sitting down on the toilet seat as he pulled his pants off. He should’ve been more embarrassed, but then again, it wasn’t anything Katsuki hadn’t seen before. 

Katsuki plugged the drain of the tub, standing and turning to Deku, unphased by his state of undress. It didn’t even arouse him, he honestly didn’t think twice about it. 

The tub filled halfway, and Izuku sniffled again. “Thank you, Kacchan, I can take it from here-“

“I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” Katsuki shuffled out of the way so Izuku could get into the bath, folding his arms across his chest. “Just, get in, nerd. I’m not leaving.”

Izuku cowered and complied, taking the two steps required from the toilet seat to the bath, lowering down into the water and holding back from letting out a relieved sigh. He didn’t feel cold before, but the water made him feel like he did. It enveloped him, and once he sunk all the way down, he didn’t want to move. “Are you sure..?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and lowered back down to his knees. “How many times am I going to tell you to shut up?” He asked. “Sit up.”

Izuku shut his mouth and sat up, watching as Katsuki dipped his hands into the water and brought them up above his head, letting the pool from his palms flow down and dampen his hair. 

Katsuki grabbed the shampoo that was sitting on the edge of the shower, pumping the nozzle a few times and working it into his hands. He moved his fingers back to Deku’s hair, massaging the shampoo through his green curls until it sudsed. 

He wasn’t sure if he should be doing this. He wasn’t sure if he should even be in Deku’s room, but it was too late now. And he didn’t really care. Maybe this was his way of atoning for everything wrong he’d done, or maybe it was just a subconscious desire to be around Deku, but either way, he didn’t care. He was here and his hands were in Deku’s hair and he wasn’t leaving. 

“I’m sorry, Kacchan.”

Katsuki hadn’t even noticed that Deku had started crying again. “What’re you sorry for?”

Izuku wiped his face again, though his hand was wet from the bath, so it didn’t help dry his face at all. “Everything.”

Katsuki cupped his hands and lifted them above Deku’s head again, pouring the water into his hair and letting it flush the shampoo out. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Deku.” 

He sniffled. “I’m sorry for leading you on.”

Katsuki sat back on his heels and groaned. “Alright, cut it with the apologies, Deku. I already said you didn’t have anything to be sorry for.” 

Izuku appreciated his quips, chuckling in response even through his tears. “Okay, okay.” He laughed, leaning into Katsuki’s hands. 

It was quiet for a while. Izuku focused on the feeling of Katsuki’s fingers in his hair, and for a brief few minutes, he forgot all about what had happened. For a few, fleeting moments, it was just him and Katsuki, occupying space. 

“Kacchan? Can I ask you something?”

Katsuki let out a dramatic sigh, playfully rolling his eyes. “I suppose.”

Izuku smiled to himself from Katsuki’s sarcasm. “Did you ever have feelings for me? While we, y’know..” He trailed off, shifting in the water and bringing his knees up a little. “Did you ever, like, actually want me?”

Katsuki set his jaw, bringing another cup of water up with his hands to rinse the rest of the shampoo out of Deku’s hair. He pondered for a second, hesitated in answering while he tried to think of something to say. 

“I always wanted you. Even when I said I hated you and you were stupid and quirkless and I couldn’t stand you.” He pushed Deku’s hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear after all of the shampoo was out. 

Izuku didn’t say a word. He was too busy trying to focus on not crying again. 

“Alright, c’mon, let’s get you to bed.” Katsuki stood, extending his hand out again and unplugging the drain of the bath. 

Izuku redressed in silence, following Katsuki out of the bathroom once he was semi-dried off, laying down in bed while watching Katsuki turn to leave. 

“Kacchan?”

Katsuki turned around. “Yeah?”

“Can you stay?”

Katsuki had to suppress his grin. “Yeah,” he started, walking back to Deku’s bed. “Yeah, I can stay, Deku.”

Chapter Text

Sleeping beside Deku, even after everything that had happened, was much less awkward than Katsuki thought it would be. 

Actually, coming to Deku’s room and undressing him and bathing him was much less awkward than Katsuki thought it would be. Not that he thought it would be awkward in the first place, but if he were honest, he really wasn’t sure how it was going to go. Especially after… everything. The last time they’d spoken, properly spoken, not in passing during class or training, was right after Katsuki had just fucked him. And that ended with Katsuki staring up at his dorm room ceiling as he cried.

It wasn’t nearly as awkward as he thought it was going to be, but it was reminiscent of what they used to do. It wasn’t unlike all of the times Deku had spent the night in his dorm after they’d had sex, exhausted and opting to sleep side by side instead of going through the motions of making Deku walk back to his dorm. It was easier that way, and Katsuki didn’t feel so lonely at night. 

Katsuki had to admit that, in a twisted, sadistic sort of way, it was kind of nice. He knew Deku was heartbroken and hurting, but Katsuki was glad to be laying next to him in bed, even if it meant he was still in anguish from whatever happened between him and Todoroki. It made him feel like Izuku was his again, even though Katsuki knew that wasn’t true. The reminiscence was enough for him. 

Katsuki shifted on the bed, the mattress creaking under his weight as he moved, his legs inching closer to Deku’s involuntarily. He was hyperaware of where he was on the bed, careful not to push himself and get too close, lest making Deku uncomfortable. 

He had to stop himself from rolling over and pressing his lips to Deku’s neck. All he wanted was to pull Deku close to him and press their bodies together like they used to, run his hands down his sides and watch his back arch with every touch. Katsuki wanted to touch him, he wanted to touch him to get rid of the ache that had been growing ever since the last time they laid like this. 

From a foot away from him, Katsuki could feel the sheets moving as Izuku adjusted his position. 

Izuku hadn’t been able to fall asleep since they’d laid down. Not like he’d been trying, and not like he’d wanted to, either. He’d had a whirlwind of a night, and he was surely not expecting it to end like this. 

It did seem wrong, though; he’d gone from having sex with Todoroki to sleeping in bed with Katsuki, all within the span of an hour and a half, and he hadn’t quite registered that he and Todoroki were over just yet. It felt like he was cheating. 

It felt like Izuku was doing something he shouldn't have been, even though he and Katsuki hadn’t even so much as brushed up against each other in a racy way. Hell, he was naked in front of him and there wasn’t even a suggestive glance. Just the action of sleeping next to Katsuki made him feel like he was cheating, despite knowing damn well he wasn’t. 

Fuck . Todoroki. Just the thought alone was enough to make him choked up. Every time he thought of him he replayed the moment over and over; Todoroki’s tense, rigid body, his back turned to him, him talking so coldly. Him not even stopping Izuku on his way out, as if he wanted him to leave. As if he’d been waiting the entire time for him to leave. 

Izuku didn’t want to think that was true. He couldn’t think that everything that had happened, the flirting and the dates and the hand holding and the stolen kisses, was for nothing. Surely Todoroki had to have had feelings for him in some capacity, or else he wouldn’t have done any of that. No, Izuku just moved too quickly. He said I love you too early, and that was his downfall. That was his fault. 

He pushed his nails into the soft skin of his palm so he wouldn’t think about it anymore. He didn’t want to. 

He was laying with Katsuki. He was laying with Katsuki and they hadn’t had sex beforehand, and they weren’t in Katsuki’s dorm. It all felt rather unnatural, Izuku couldn’t remember the last time he and Katsuki had slept together in the same bed without having had sex as a prerequisite. 

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that the last time it’d happened, they were kids. 

It was a sleepover at Katsuki’s house. 

It was summertime, they had just gotten done playing outside and patching up their scraped knees from tripping on the sidewalk. The air was sweet with blooming azaleas and their fingertips and mouths were sticky sweet and stained red from the watermelon Mitsuki had given them before they went out. 

They were in his bedroom, blankets and action figures strewn in a chaotic mess on the floor, kid-sized hero costumes draped across his dresser and long since discarded in favor of their pajamas. Crickets chirped outside of Katsuki’s window, replacing the cicadas that were singing in the trees during the heat of the day.

The light was turned out, Katsuki’s bedroom almost completely dark except for the faint blue glow of moonlight through his closed curtains and the little sparks firing in his palms. They both sat on his bed, making creases on his sheets as Katsuki showed off. 

“Wow, Kacchan!” Izuku beamed, trying to be quiet despite his bouncing excitement. He whisper-yelled the words, leaning in toward Katsuki so he could get a better look at his hands. He’d been developing his quirk for a few weeks, and this was the first time Izuku had seen him support a continuous string of explosions, and not just a few pops. 

Katsuki chuckled, keeping his hands open for a few more seconds before slowly curling his fingers back in and letting the sparks fizzle out. “Cool, huh?”

Izuku nodded furiously, bouncing gently on his bed and giggling silently. “It’s so amazing!” He whispered, smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt.  

Katsuki grinned and plopped down onto his pillow, hands folded back behind his bed as he turned to look at Izuku. “I’m going to be the greatest hero ever with my quirk, you just watch!”

Izuku followed suit not long after, laying on his side atop his home-brought pillow, his All Might pillowcase a different pattern than Katsuki’s own. He faced Katsuki on the bed, his smile having not faded at all. “I’m sure you will,” he started, giggling, “I can’t wait to watch you do it!”

Katsuki couldn’t help the look of fondness spreading across his face, but he suppressed it with a hint of arrogance. “You better watch me,” he punched Izuku in the arm playfully, rolling over onto his side so they laid facing each other. “I’ll kill you if you don’t.”

Izuku giggled again, lifting his hand up and extending his pinky out to him. “I promise.”

Katsuki stared at his hand for half a second before he smirked, lifting his own hand up and linking their fingers together tightly. “You better keep it.”

Izuku smiled at him, trying to keep down another set of giggles. “I will.”

They both fell back down to the bed and laughed, quietly.

Sleeping in bed with Katsuki now honestly didn’t feel all that different from their childhood sleepovers. It was essentially the same; lying close together but not too close, their breathing synching subconsciously. All that was missing was the giggling and the cicadas outside.

Izuku wedged his hand under his head and chewed on his lip. “Kacchan?”

“What?”

Izuku hesitated before he spoke again. “Sorry,” he lowered his voice, “am I annoying you?”

Katsuki almost laughed. He was honestly relieved to hear Deku’s voice, it meant he didn’t have to force himself to try and sleep anymore. “No, for once.” He said, rolling over at the same time Izuku did, facing him. “What did you want?”

Izuku paused, debating whether or not he should continue to talk. Katsuki had already done enough, and he really didn’t want to push him. But Izuku had already initiated it, and now he had to speak. “You’re not tired?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and elbowed his shoulder gently. “No, I’m not tired.” He chuckled. “Out with it, Deku.” 

He could see Izuku thinking, the hesitation splaying on his face as obviously as the freckles on his cheeks. He’d always been like that, ever since he was a kid. His face would descend into a state of ponder, deep in thought about God only knew what, leaving Katsuki only guessing. He’d withdraw into himself, getting lost in his thoughts until Katsuki shook him out of it with a laugh. 

Izuku broke their eye contact before he spoke. “Did you mean what you said? In, in the bath?” 

Katsuki rolled his eyes again and clicked his tongue. “You’re going to have to be more specific, nerd.” He let out a breathy laugh. “I said a lot of things.”

Izuku flushed and chuckled nervously, wringing his hands down near his lap. “When you said that you wanted me.” He was speaking quietly, like he didn’t want to say it. “Did you mean it?”

This time, Katsuki was the one left pondering. He was left pondering how to answer the question without putting his hands on Deku’s shoulders and shaking him until he was dizzy. He wanted to say yes, of course I meant it you dumb fuck, are you stupid? 

“Yeah.” He answered it after a second, not hesitating any longer so the silence wouldn’t spread. “I meant it.” 

Even through the darkness, Katsuki could see the red in Izuku’s cheeks. The heat from them radiated, and Izuku silently thanked the dark for masking the brunt of it. 

“Is that a problem..?” Katsuki asked, shuttering his gaze over Izuku’s face, growing nervous himself. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that earlier. It was too soon, what the hell was he thinking? Deku had just gotten done getting his heart shattered, and he went and dropped that on him right on top of it. Of course he was going to question it. It sounded like Katsuki had only said it out of pity, something to make Izuku feel better in the moment. God, he was so fucking stupid. 

Izuku shook his head and finally snapped his eyes back to Katsuki, re-establishing their eye contact. “No,” he whispered, “it’s not a problem.”

His eyes were fixed on Katsuki’s, and for just a few seconds, they were left in silence, just looking at each other. They’d looked at each other before, but this time felt different. This time Katsuki, even in the dark, took notice of every single subtle detail in his face. He took notice of every subtle detail, and how the heartbreak changed them. 

It weighed down his cheeks and made his eyes look grey, but despite it, he still looked like him. He still looked like the same Izuku that Katsuki had always known, who would trip over his too-big sneakers and giggle as they tried to catch grasshoppers. 

He still looked like Katsuki’s Izuku. 

Though if Izuku kept staring at him like that, Katsuki was going to lose his mind. He wasn’t giving him the provocative, alluring look that Katsuki was all too used to, but it still made him want to press their lips together and crawl on top of Izuku regardless. He didn’t even have to fuck him, he just wanted to feel close to him, to touch him and hold him and never let him go. 

By force of habit, Katsuki started to lean into him. He couldn’t help it, his body moved before he had time to stop it. It was an involuntary reflex. 

Izuku leaned in himself. “Kacchan…” He breathed, eyes starting to flutter shut as they moved closer. 

Katsuki snapped out of it once his own eyes began to shut, mentally smacking himself out of the daze and pulling back a few inches. “You should, you should try to head to bed,” he tried his best to shake it off, to not linger on it for too long. “You’ve had a long night.”

He couldn’t do this. Not now. Not for Izuku’s sake.

Izuku nodded slowly and settled back into his spot. “I’m not tired.” He said it in a slight whine, mostly from the pull back.

Katsuki chuckled and sighed. So much for trying to avoid it. Though, he wasn’t tired either. “Alright, well,” he said, “we can’t play I Spy, like when we were kids. It’s too dark for that.” 

Izuku laughed at the thought, covering his mouth with his hand. “Maybe you could do the thing, with your quirk? Like you always did when it was dark?”

Katsuki grinned. He was honestly surprised that he remembered that, but knowing Izuku, he shouldn’t have been. “Yeah.” He laughed. “Haven’t done that shit in a while.” 

He brought his hand in between them, opening his palm and letting a small eruption of sparks cascade over his fingers. 

The way the soft orange and yellow illuminated Izuku’s face made Katsuki’s chest ache. 

Chapter Text

Katsuki noticed the table that the nerds usually sat at was mostly empty when he got his spicy curry from Lunch Rush. He glanced in it’s direction only for a second while on his way to his own table, and had to do a double take when he saw that its typical occupants were absent. 

There was no Iida, or Uraraka, or Asui, or Todoroki. There was just Deku, sitting in his own little corner of the table, eating his katsudon. 

Katsuki figured his friends found out about he and Todoroki’s split, and decided to give them space. Maybe they thought they’d talk about it at lunch, and should be alone to do so.

That’s what Katsuki hoped, at least. There wasn’t really an excuse to leave Deku looking like an outcast, but that was the only semi-reasonable explanation he could think of. He really didn’t want to think that his friends were abandoning Deku to comfort Todoroki, because Katsuki was going to make someone eat gravel if that was the case. 

Katsuki couldn’t help but feel slightly vengeful as he watched Deku eat by himself across the room. There was a minuscule part of him that enjoyed seeing him revel alone, even out of spite. Maybe Deku felt the same that Katsuki had, and in a sick, sadistic way, Katsuki liked that thought. 

He grabbed his chopsticks and tried to think of something else. Deku didn’t deserve to feel like that, no one did. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. 

He hated blaming Deku for his pain, it wasn’t his damn fault that Katsuki had caught feelings when he shouldn’t have. It wasn’t Deku’s fault that he decided to silently violate the rules of their entire wordless agreement and fuck everything up in the process. It wasn’t Deku’s fault that Katsuki was jealous.

It took everything he had not to pick up his tray and move next to Deku, just to give him company, even if they didn’t speak a word to each other the entire lunch period. Maybe he’d even slip his hand underneath the table and let Deku hold it, just so he could pretend that he was Todoroki instead. 

It’d be much better than sitting where he was and feeling like he was back in middle school, stealing glances at Deku alone at his lunch table as he mindlessly scribbled in his notebook. He didn’t look as lonely then, though, he seemed content with the solitude. Except this time, Katsuki wouldn’t pour his milk all over him and laugh as he flinched from his touch. 

Someone was bound to say something, though. Maybe not right then and there, but someone would surely open their mouths to talk, and with talking came questions. And Katsuki didn’t want to fumble over the answers to those questions. He could put a front up, surely, fake his way through it with an eye roll and an annoyed groan, but even one slip or crack would ruin the entire thing.

Katsuki didn’t feel like dealing with that snowballing train of thought, so he ignored it. He lifted his chopsticks to his mouth and ignored the thoughts and Deku sitting alone at the table. He’d text Deku later about it, to make sure he was okay. 

Maybe Deku would ask Katsuki if he could come to his dorm, just to talk and for company. Maybe his bed wouldn’t be so cold, finally. 

Izuku hadn’t felt this alone since he was in middle school. 

It felt like he was back at Aldera Junior High, sitting in his stuffy uniform and feeling invisible as he ate his lunch in silence. He felt just as insignificant as he did back then, watching everyone laugh with their friends while he was treated as though he didn’t exist, like he wasn’t worthy of being talked to or even acknowledged. 

He understood why his friends had abandoned their normal seating arrangements for the day. A situation like this was awkward, and Izuku knew that they wanted to remain neutral, so as to not take either of their sides. Iida’s I’ll be eating in the training room today, we want to give you and Todoroki space text right before lunch confirmed his previous suspicions. But knowing why they were doing it didn’t make it sting any less. 

If anything, it brought more attention to him, and it was attention that Izuku really didn’t want. If the rest of the class hadn’t known that he and Todoroki had broken up, or at the very least had something happen to their relationship, they surely did now. 

There’d no doubt be chatter about Izuku sitting alone at his lunch table and conversations of “damn, what happened?” “oh, you didn’t hear? Midoriya and Todoroki broke it off” followed by looks of pity and prodding questions into how and why and oh, but you two looked so cute together. 

Izuku hadn’t talked to Todoroki since it’d happened. Granted, it was still fresh, but they were yet to even acknowledge each other’s presence in the classroom or the common area or anywhere at all. There wasn’t even a short text, Todoroki treated him like he never even knew him. He didn’t even get an explanation. 

He didn’t even get an explanation. Fuck, that really pissed him off. Izuku thought that, if anything, Todoroki at the very least owed him a reason why he reacted the way that he did. He owed him a reason why he led Izuku to think that what they had was more than what it actually was, a reason why all of the touches and the cute looks on dates and Todoroki’s hands all over him as they fucked were just a part of the game he was playing. That it didn’t warrant Izuku telling him he loved him, because how the fuck could it not?!

He took another bite of his katsudon, and he couldn’t even taste it. He could feel the weight of it in his mouth, the crunch of the pork and the softness of the rice and the egg, but he tasted none of it. 

That was a facet of heartbreak he didn’t know about. He didn’t realize that food, and everything, even the things he loved and looked forward to eating, would become utterly tasteless and unexciting. If he focused really hard, he could make out the flavors that he knew and loved, but that focus required effort he didn’t want to give. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, so why would he try so hard as his body screamed at him to just go back to being numb? 

The numbness made him feel nothing, both the good and the bad, but he could deal with that for now. He could deal with not feeling the good when it kept the bad out, because the bad completely paralyzed him. And he wasn’t numb all the time, he let himself feel the pain and cried it out into his pillow or the sleeves of his hoodies, but for the most part, he just put a front up until he was able to let all of it out, until he was able to allow it to consume him until it was cried out of him completely. 

Izuku laid in bed, sniffling quietly and blinking the last of his tears out from the corners of his eyes, his phone screen glowing in his face as he stared at Todoroki’s contact name. 

He was going to do it. He had to do it. Obviously Todoroki wasn’t going to, so Izuku had to be the one to rip off the band-aid and text him first. He just wanted to send a quick little hey, just to get the ball rolling before the real discussion started, because it was bound to happen. There was no way it wouldn’t. 

Izuku: Hey

Izuku turned off his phone after a few seconds, too anxious to watch the message turn from delivered to read, if it ever even would. He honestly thought Todoroki would ignore it, or maybe even delete it. The more he thought about it, the more it made him anxious. 

He’d sent it too soon. He should’ve waited a few more days, just so the wound wasn’t so fresh and open. Todoroki would surely be annoyed, it was almost guaranteed that he’d ignore it and only answer after the tension had settled down, which could be a week or more.

A week or more. Izuku couldn’t do that. He just wanted to get the closure he anxiously needed so he could know why, and so he could move on. Having to wait for Todoroki’s end was making him practically nauseous with anxiety.

He set his phone down on his nightstand and rolled over so his back was facing it, so he couldn’t be tempted to check it every five seconds. He gripped his pillow underneath him, closing his eyes in a futile attempt at lulling himself to sleep.

And then a buzz came.

It wasn’t immediate, it came after a few minutes of fruitless, too-nervous-to-sleep adjusting, but it came, the white glow of the notification lighting up the little corner of his room that his nightstand was in. Izuku whipped around, rolling over and grabbing his phone. 

Todoroki: Hey

Izuku’s heart thumped in his chest so hard it made him feel sick. He breathed out, slowly, typing a response, probably too quickly, with his fingers.

Izuku: How’ve you been?

He mentally berated himself as soon as he sent the text. What the fuck kind of question was that? Of course Todoroki had been feeling like shit, Izuku was no different. 

Todoroki: I’ve been better

Izuku: Me too

Todoroki: What’s up?

Izuku bit his lip before he typed his next reply.

Izuku: Can I ask you a question?

This was it. Todoroki took a few minutes to respond, the little dots disappearing and reappearing every few seconds and making Izuku feel even more nervous than he already did. 

Todoroki: Yeah

Izuku breathed out slowly through his nose.

Izuku: Can I ask why..?

He figured he didn’t need to elaborate. Todoroki surely knew why he was texting him, and that question could only be about one thing. There was no need to get specific. 

It took a few minutes for the dots to reappear again, but they kept disappearing and coming back like the last text Todoroki had sent.

Todoroki: I don’t know

The dots continued, which told Izuku that Todoroki wasn’t typing one big long paragraph, and was breaking up his thoughts into smaller chunks. 

Todoroki: I guess I just thought of the relationship differently

Todoroki: I enjoyed it, but I didn’t see it as deeply as you did. At least not as deep as that

Todoroki: I didn’t want it super serious like that, I guess. I didn’t want it just for sex, if that’s what you’re thinking, but I also didn’t want it for what you wanted, either

Todoroki: Sorry if that was complicated. It’s hard to explain what I mean

Izuku read all of it over and over, nearly memorizing the words.

Izuku: It’s okay, I get it. Thanks for explaining it to me. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable

Todoroki: You’re welcome, and you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault

Izuku almost rolled his eyes. Now he tells him that, after he sulked for two days blaming himself. 

Izuku: Thanks. Goodnight

Todoroki: Night

Izuku set his phone back down and rolled to his spot again. 

He was so stupid. How couldn’t he see it, how didn’t he read into what Todoroki was feeling? He was an idiot, a complete and utter idiot, too blinded by the touches and the looks and the kisses to see what Todoroki actually felt. He should’ve asked him, before they even called themselves dating, what Todoroki wanted out of the relationship. It would’ve saved him a hell of a lot of heartache in the end. 

Izuku bit his lip and extended out his arm to grab his phone again. 

Izuku: You awake?

He furrowed his brows and berated himself in his head again. It was late, Kacchan wasn’t up, was he insane?

Kacchan: Yeah why

He was dumbfounded. It happened so quickly, there wasn’t even a delay or a break that said that Izuku had woken him up. He concentrated on the screen and his response, sitting up and throwing his legs off of the side of the bed.

Izuku: Can I come over?

There wasn’t another pause again, it was immediate.

Kacchan: Sure

Izuku stood, tossing his duvet aside and quietly making his way to his door.

Izuku: I’ll be there in a few minutes

Chapter Text

Izuku wasn’t even paying attention to the weight of his footsteps as he moved in the hallway.

Usually, when he went to Katsuki’s dorm, he took the utmost care in making sure no one heard him so much as breathe, moving as silently as possible and walking on his toes just to be extra careful. Izuku had mastered walking down that hallway quietly, treading cautiously around every place in the floor that he knew would creak and groan, just so there wouldn’t be any evidence for anyone to be suspicious of what he was up to. 

Now he let his feet fall flat on the floor and didn’t care if it squeaked under his weight. He moved too quickly to care, anyway; he focused on one foot in front of the other, his vision black except for the sharp tunnel that led to Katsuki’s door. 

He could hardly see the damn door through the practically black hallway, the darkness viscous and sticking to everything that had even the slightest bit of color. But even through the thick darkness, he could make out the outline of Katsuki’s door. 

He stood in front of it, tapping his knuckles on the wood a few times before he turned the doorknob and stepped in, closing it behind him as fast as he opened it. 

“That was fast.” Katsuki commented from his bed. Izuku arrived so quickly that it almost gave him whiplash, he couldn’t even process Deku’s I’ll be there in a few minutes text before he was already standing in his doorway. 

Katsuki hadn’t seen him like this since when they were fucking regularly. He had the same look, the same rushed attitude and fervent need to get to his dorm as quickly as possible. Katsuki couldn’t see his face yet, but part of him hoped the same lustful, amorous expression he used to have when something like this would happen was still there. 

Izuku cowered a bit as he made his way to Katsuki’s bed, his cheeks heating in slight embarrassment. “Sorry,” he apologized, veiling it with a chuckle right after. “I just… didn’t want to be alone.”

Katsuki sat up and rolled his eyes, sighing. “Y’know, I’m gettin’ sick of the pity party you’re stuck in.” He teased, scooting over and folding his arms across his chest.

So it had to do with Icy Hot. Not that he minded, he honestly figured that much, but he got his hopes up a little too high. What now, he thought to himself, watching Deku crawl onto the side of the bed he had just shuffled from, what the hell did Todoroki do now to warrant this?

Izuku chuckled and offered an amused half smile. “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He jokingly apologized, letting out a breath as he pulled the duvet over his knees. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katsuki stepped over the line, just a little bit, testing the waters to see what he could get out of Deku. He didn’t want to pry, but his curiosity was getting the best of him.

Izuku sighed again and laid down, facing where Katsuki was laying and hesitating before he opened his mouth to answer. “He told me why we broke up.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes again and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Really not giving me much to work with, Deku.” He punched him softly in the arm, pushing him away a few inches as Deku laughed.

“Alright, alright,” he continued, “he said he didn’t take the relationship as seriously as I did. That he viewed it in a much different way than I did, he didn’t want what I wanted.” He spilled, all of it, unable to stop once he started talking. It was honestly visceral, digging up that truth and letting it pour out instead of keeping it buried inside and sealed tight. The more he talked, though, the more the emotions bubbled to the surface again, and his voice started to crack and crumble.

Katsuki swallowed thickly as soon as he was finished. “You alright?” He asked after a few seconds, watching over Izuku’s face carefully, trying to catch any tears that may have fallen. If there’s one thing he didn’t want, he didn’t want Deku to upset himself.

Izuku nodded, his nose growing red and his throat starting to constrict. “Yeah,” he breathed, sniffling to keep the tears away. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He breathed out a chuckle, flashing a reassuring smile to him. 

So Todoroki saw the relationship in a different way than Deku did. The fuck does that even mean? Katsuki thought to himself, his fingernails digging into the fabric of his pillowcase subconsciously. How the fuck could he see it differently, he was the one who initiated all the dates and the one who flirted with Deku when he was too dense to notice. He was the one with his hands on Deku’s arm and shoulders brushing against his. So how the fuck did he see the relationship differently? 

Todoroki didn’t want it to be as deep as Deku wanted it to be. So, that meant he was stringing Deku along, making him think one thing when he actually meant another, leading him on only to break his heart in the end. 

Oh, he wanted to kill that half and half bastard. 

Katsuki didn’t care how Todoroki might feel or what he meant, at that moment, he wanted to clap an explosion in his face. How fucking dare he, how could he act like that with Deku, make him so god damn jealous in the all the while, and not mean any of it? He sincerely hoped that Todoroki didn’t just want Deku for sex, because he was going to kill him if that was the case.

Katsuki nibbled on his lip. 

That’s what he wanted Deku for at first. That’s all he saw Deku as, someone to be civil with when he had to and then have sex with when it was convenient, that’s all he wanted him for. He couldn’t care less if Deku had caught feelings, he wanted the nights where they could fuck and then argue and spar the next day during training, nothing more. 

And then he grew feelings. 

Then Katsuki lingered a little too much on how pretty Izuku’s hair looked, on how his eyes glimmered when the sun caught them just right. He lingered on blushed cheeks underneath perfect freckles, he lingered on the smell of rain that clung to his sheets whenever Izuku stayed a little longer than he usually did. He lingered on his warmth and the way that he achingly needed him. He always needed him. He needed him ever since he was a little kid, making his quirk pop in his palms and pulling his shorts up to wade in the creek to catch fireflies. 

Katsuki was so afraid of needing him that, in turn, he pushed him away. He didn’t need anyone, he was going to be a hero. It was better to get rid of something like that, and fast, because heroes who were tough and brave didn’t need anyone. So he pushed him away, bullied him mercilessly, all because he needed him, and he didn’t want to need him. It was like he was trying to convince himself otherwise, only to fail in the process, every time. No matter how many times he pushed him into the ground, he still needed him.

Fuck, Katsuki was such a hypocrite. 

He’d never deserve Izuku. Todoroki had just completely shattered his heart, and he would still deserve him so much more than Katsuki ever would. It was a privilege for him to even be able to put his hands on him all those times, he didn’t deserve any of them. 

“Kacchan,” Izuku breathed through the silence that had settled, his eyes now half-lidded and skitting over Katsuki’s face slowly. 

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

Izuku shifted, letting out a quiet, shaky breath and sucking his bottom lip between his teeth briefly before he spoke again. “Can you touch me?”

Katsuki had to do a double take. The nerd couldn’t have said what he’d just said, he was imagining it, it was all a want-filled hallucination. Deku just wanted to be comforted, he just wanted company so he wouldn’t have to revel in his misery alone. What he and Deku had was over, it’d been over before it even began. “I-what?”

Izuku sunk into himself and pursed his lips, wringing his hands nervously under the duvet. He wanted to crawl under the covers and disappear, to hide himself and be invisible to everyone. His embarrassment was obvious on his face, the tips of his ears going hot with shame, his chest twisting in knots uncomfortably, anxiety sparking throughout his entire body. He was so fucking dumb. “I, um, nevermind-”

“No, no,” Katsuki cut him off, bringing him back to the place he was slowly inching away from out of humiliation. “I just—are you sure?” 

Izuku’s breath got caught in his throat, the place on his lower hip where Katsuki’s hand was placed buzzing under his fingers. He nodded, slowly. “Yeah.” He whispered, scooting into Katsuki’s touch, though slightly hesitant. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure.”

Katsuki shifted himself, his hand drifting down Izuku’s hip, snaking around to the front of him, hovering above his boxers. “Can I?” He mumbled, his gaze back to Izuku’s face. 

Izuku had to hold back from bucking into Katsuki’s hand, his body tensing. “Yes,” he breathed, desperately, the heat from his ears migrating into his face.

Katsuki bit his lip and reached his fingers out to the hem of Deku’s boxers, slipping past the elastic and dipping between his legs, his hand wrapping around Deku’s cock at the base. 

Katsuki was having trouble fighting off his own blush. He hadn’t touched Deku like this in a while, and even when he did, Deku was almost never the one asking. Katsuki was used to being the initiator, he was the one who told Deku what to do and where to touch and how hard he wanted his tongue to be on his cock. It felt like Deku needed him when he asked, more than he needed him in general. It felt like he needed him to be more than just the company that Deku had so he wouldn’t be alone. Even if Deku was imagining his hand as Todoroki’s, he needed him in that moment, and that made Katsuki’s chest feel light. 

Izuku squirmed as Katsuki slowly pumped his hand, whimpering through his teeth and grabbing onto the pillow under his head. “K-Kacchan,” he stuttered, a moan breaking through the word, Katsuki’s thumb swiping over the head.

Katsuki grinned and hoped Deku couldn’t see it. Maybe he wasn’t imagining Todoroki’s hand at all. “You alright, Deku?” He asked, moving his hand quicker, stopping every few strokes to lightly tease the tip. 

Izuku nodded furiously, keeping his mouth pressed tight, a little whimper bubbling from his throat. “Yes,” he breathed, momentarily parting his lips. “Yes, yes, please keep going Kacchan, please.” He whined, arching his hips into Katsuki’s hand and pulling at the pillow. 

Katsuki obliged to his request, concentrating on the rhythm he created, eyebrows furrowing and tongue darting between his lips. He was so hyperfocused on Deku’s whimpers and whines and Kacchan’ s. He hadn’t heard that in a long time, at least not like this, not moaned out so beautifully as he jerked Deku off under his boxers. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it until Deku whimpered it for the first time. Katsuki didn’t care about anything else as long as Deku said his name like that. 

A few more pumps and Izuku was writhing under his touch, body going rigid and his hand flying down to Katsuki’s forearm. He dug his nails into his bicep, feeling it flex under his fingertips as Katsukui continued to stroke over his dick, his eyes opening just a flutter. 

He made eye contact with Katsuki just as he came, toes curling as he released into Katsuki’s fist. Katsuki’s face was drenched in darkness, but even through it, Izuku could make out his expression, soft and careful, lips parted open as his eyes fixed on Izuku’s. 

Izuku got lost in his face for a second. He couldn’t help it; Katsuki looked so devastating, looked so perfect. It was the face he wanted all along. 

Katsuki pulled his hand out of Izuku’s boxers, turning away from him, albeit hesitantly, to clean off his palm. He didn’t want to take his gaze away from him, afraid that if he looked away he’d be gone by the time he got back. 

Izuku sat up, dazed, his hair standing up in places that it shouldn’t have been. “Hope I wasn’t too loud.”

Katsuki wiped off his palm with a tissue, and laughed. He stifled it for a second, but it came out in a quiet chuckle-laugh, turning back to Izuku once he was done. “Oh, now you think of that.”

Izuku collapsed back onto the bed in a fit of giggles, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, Katsuki following suit not long after, rolling his eyes and laying down beside him.

God, they hadn’t laughed like that since they were kids. 

Chapter Text

It didn’t take long for Izuku to be spending most of his nights in Katsuki’s dorm. 

It became even more of a routine than it was before. They’d go to their own dorms at the end of the night and settle in for an hour before Izuku was sneaking out of his and tip-toeing down the hall to Katsuki’s, careful and cautious, just like he was before everything. 

Izuku missed being pressed against the back of Katsuki’s door. He missed his hands gripping his waist and pulling him toward the bed with fervent voracity, lips attached to his neck and sucking light purple and blue marks all over him. It made Izuku think Katsuki had missed him as much as he missed Katsuki. 

It was nice not being expected to go back to his dorm after cleaning up. Now when he emerged from the bathroom after cleaning cum off of his chest and between his legs, Katsuki would make him a spot in his sheets, and Izuku wouldn’t fight taking that place. Even if they just laid side by side and tangled their legs, it was better than thumbing the outlines of the marks Katsuki had left on him alone in the solitude of his dorm. 

Laying side by side sure beat the lonely walk Izuku would have to take on his way back to his dorm, that’s for sure. That was something he really didn’t miss, and even though they were back to what they were—not exactly together, but also not not together, either—it was better than the heartbreak Izuku felt after Todoroki, after everything. 

Katsuki was back in the him-sized hole that was left in Izuku’s heart, though Izuku elected to ignore that for now. Kacchan had just started fucking him again, had just started touching him again, and Izuku wanted to enjoy that for as long as possible before those feelings ruined it all for him like they did with Todoroki. 

So, he buried them and didn’t think about it, and when he did, the thoughts only lingered for a second before he bit them back. He didn’t need them, not now at least; he just wanted to settle back down into their routine, into their thing. He wanted it to go back to the way it was before. He wanted to pretend that Todoroki had never happened and that he and Kacchan never stopped their late night bullshit.

Biting back those feelings was difficult at times, but it was better than getting his heart broken again. 

And god, getting fucked felt so, so much better than heartbreak. Except now, they sometimes wouldn’t even wait for the darkness of their dorm rooms. 

Izuku’s back hit the tile wall of the locker room, eliciting a soft groan out of him as he was pushed against the cold ceramic. Katsuki’s hands held his thighs open, wrapping Izuku’s legs around his waist as he tilted his head into his neck, pressing his lips into the crook of it and sucking on the skin. 

They waited for everyone to filter out after that afternoon’s training, Sero and Kaminari telling Katsuki they’d meet him in the dorms later on for dinner, leaving him with a clap on his shoulder and a request to “don’t take too long, you don’t need to wash your hair for an hour!”.

Katsuki only rolled his eyes and gave them the finger. “Tch, don’t tell me what to do, dumbasses!”

They laughed and gathered their bags, waving goodbye as they snickered under their breath. Katsuki watched the door close behind them, and glanced around in Deku’s direction.

Iida lingered with Izuku for a few minutes, voice lowered so only Izuku could hear him. He’d been checking in with him periodically, usually texting him after classes were over or when he’d have time to get him alone for a few minutes, like after training. 

“How’re you doing today, Midoriya?” Iida asked, sitting down on the bench behind his locker and pulling his shoes on. “Are you okay?”

Izuku almost chuckled under his breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, Iida.” He turned around to face him, smiling reassuringly. “Don’t worry.”

Iida nodded and stood, letting out a breath and setting his hand on Izuku’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard, and I’m sure it hurts. But you know I’m here for you, right?”

Izuku nodded. “I know, thank you. I really appreciate it.” All of their friends, once the awkward period was over, made a point of being supportive, to both Todoroki and Izuku. They didn’t know all the details of why they were no longer together, but it was nice receiving support from them regardless. Izuku had gotten similar speeches from Uraraka and Tsu, and he suspected they did the same thing with Todoroki. Which was fine with him, he didn’t expect them to pick sides. He was just glad he didn’t have to sit alone at lunch anymore. 

Iida picked up his backpack and pushed his glasses. “I’ll see you back at the dormitory. Are we still on for dinner?”

Izuku nodded as he turned back around from him. “You got it, Iida.” From the corner of his vision, he watched Iida walk all the way to the door and disappear out of it. He turned, subtly, to where Kacchan was. 

Iida didn’t know that he’d been doing so much better because he was fucking Katsuki. 

“Fuck,” Izuku moaned through clenched teeth, fingernails dragging down Katsuki’s shoulder blades as he was pressed down on the bathroom sink, their hips hitting with a wet smack.

It was sloppy and reckless, but neither of them cared. Neither of them cared about the tiles cracking behind Izuku’s shoulders, neither of them cared about who might walk in and catch them like this, not in the moment at least. Not like they’d even hear anyone walk in anyway.

Izuku’s back shoved against the bathroom wall with the thrusts, Katsuki’s hands curled under his knees and spreading his legs apart as he pounded into him, his thighs beginning to tremble from being kept in the same position for so long. 

Katsuki couldn’t wait. Izuku had turned away from Iida and caught his gaze for only a moment, and he knew. In a way, Izuku was seeking it out. He was looking for that expression, wanting to meet Katsuki’s in the middle and say I know, I want it too, take me. 

Katsuki shifted his position, arching Izuku down a bit lower, his inner thighs hitting the sink as Katsuki fucked him against it, the porcelain groaning against the weight Katsuki was pushing on it. 

“Kacchan, I—” Izuku tilted his head to the side and moaned through closed lips, just barely louder than the increasing crack of the tiles behind him. 

Katsuki sunk his teeth into Izuku’s neck, his pace stuttering as he reached his own end. His hair clung to his damp forehead, flinging forward with his pounds. 

Nothing mattered right now. The fact that Katsuki was slowly destroying the little span of wall he was fucking Izuku on didn’t matter, the edge of the sink that was digging into Izuku’s thigh didn’t matter, the deep welts that he was scratching into Katsuki’s shoulder that burned so red hot didn’t matter. All that mattered was their sticky breaths gasping from their open mouths.  

All that mattered was their errant need. 

Izuku came first, though Katsuki followed not long after, both of them crying out in near unison. Katsuki’s mouth dragged up Izuku’s neck and stayed at his cheek as he fucked a few more thrusts into him, riding out a couple more waves as he slowed. 

Izuku nearly whimpered as he withdrew, forcing his knees together as he dropped back down to the floor, standing with a slight quiver as Katsuki stepped away from him and searched for the clothes that he’d long since discarded. 

“We need to get dressed before everyone sends a fuckin’ search party after us.” Katsuki bent down to pick up his uniform blazer, draping it over his shoulder and turning around to him.  

Izuku grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser beside the sink he had just been leaning on mere seconds before, taking the thin brown square and wiping his stomach clean. “They wouldn’t.” He picked up his button down, beating it once so it wouldn’t look wrinkly after he put it back on.

It’d been a long time since Izuku had smelled like Katsuki. Burning, spicy-sweet, a faint hint of leather and campfire and Kacchan. He forgot how much he missed it. It was intoxicating, and he didn’t want to wash it off. 

He picked his pants off of the floor, stepping into them as Katsuki buckled his belt, a low chuckle bubbling from his chest as he moved toward Izuku again. 

Izuku paused once he placed his hands on his waist. 

“Not even cleaning up before you get dressed?” Katsuki asked, pushing his lips toward Deku’s ear, tucking a stray, slightly damp strand of green behind it. “You’re going to go back to the dorms and see your friends, letting me trickle down your thighs, all while they have no idea what I did to you earlier.” 

He squeezed his hands on Deku’s waist before he pulled away, grabbing his backpack and starting out of the locker room. 

His face was on fire, and Izuku couldn’t remember the last time it had been. All he knew was that Katsuki was the only one who could make it like that. No one could even come close.

Fuck. He was so screwed. 

Izuku could hear the low chuckling until the door closed behind Katsuki.

Chapter Text

“There you are!” Iida practically ran from one of the tables, skirting to a stop in front of Izuku as he closed the dormitory door behind him. “You took a while, Midoriya.” 

Izuku chuckled at the same time Iida did, offering his usual smile and hoping that his cheeks weren’t red enough to warrant suspicion. He could still feel the heat in them, the warmth spread across his whole body, from the tip of his ears to its concentration in his chest. 

“Sorry, I took a few extra minutes in the shower.” He laughed, feeling that warmth in his chest start to spread up his neck as he thought about how the shower stalls looked as Katsuki fucked him against tiles across from them. 

He dug his nails into his palm to keep the blush at bay. 

“Ah, well, I saved you some beef stew for dinner, do you want me to make you a bowl?” Iida asked, starting to escort Izuku toward the kitchen without thinking. 

Izuku nodded, standing beside the refrigerator, watching Iida scoop him a bowl before he even had time to answer. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” Iida spooned a few extra carrots into the broth for him, and Izuku could tell that he was saying something, but he didn’t hear a word of it.

The heat that was gradually dissipating from his cheeks suddenly raged again once Katsuki began to drip down his legs. 

It was a familiar sensation, one that he’d felt countless times before and knew all too well, but usually he’d deal with it quickly. He’d hurry off to the bathroom in Katsuki’s dorm and clean it off, staring at himself in the mirror and replaying what he and Katsuki had just done. He never had to deal with it in front of people other than Katsuki, and especially not in public.

Especially not in the common area of the dorms, in front of Iida. 

Izuku shifted himself, squeezing his thighs together in an attempt at trying to keep it under control, whilst simultaneously also trying not to make it look like he had cum dripping down his legs.

“You okay, Midoriya?” Iida asked, holding the bowl of beef stew and tilting his head, cocking an eyebrow.

Izuku was all too quick to nod. “Yeah, yeah!” It came out in a squeak, and his heart dropped in his chest. He had to calm down, he had to lower his voice back down so it would be normal. He didn’t want Iida to implore him further, he didn’t want to be acting weird enough for people to take notice and ask questions. Fuck. This wasn’t how he imagined his night was going to go.

Iida’s eyebrow lifted a bit more. “Are you sure?” He half-turned from him, still keeping his eyes on him, much to Izuku’s anxiety. 

Izuku nodded again, slower this time. “Yes, I’m alright.” He added a slight chuckle after it, just to sink in the faux-casualness that he was trying so hard to keep up. 

Iida side-eyed him for a moment before he let it go, nodding once. “Alright, well, dinner is served!” He said, sitting the beef stew down on the table. 

Izuku happily took the invitation to sit down, pulling the chair out all too eagerly and pushing himself back to the table once he moved past Iida. “Thank you,” he said under his breath, joining his hands for a quick itadakimasu before he lifted his spoon and dug in.

He couldn’t even taste what he was eating. 

All he could think about was the cum in his ass, dripping out slowly, making a mess in his boxers and forcing his heart to drum against his ribs.

Katsuki must’ve came deep inside of him, the majority of it not having begun to seep out until now. Izuku had walked back to the dorms without much of it even causing a problem in his underwear, but the second he stood still, it quickly trickled. 

Fuck, he didn’t need this right now. He was just getting used to the rollercoaster of his breakup with Todoroki and falling back into the routine with Kacchan, he didn’t need the thought of eyes on him added into the mix. 

The thought of the questions and the stares and the whispering that people would inevitably do made his body prick with anxiety.

The thought of what it would do to him and Katsuki made him the most afraid.

They would revert back to what they were previously, even before they started fucking; friendly when they had to be, and ignoring each other for the most part. Izuku didn’t want to think about that, he’d ached for the looks Katsuki gave him when he wanted him, the vicious need rimmed in his irises that Kacchan knew only Izuku would pick up on. It drove Izuku mad, made him feel needed. 

Izuku loved Katsuki, and the look of disgust he was imagining Kacchan would make at the accusation of him sleeping with him nearly made him double over. 

No, Katsuki wouldn’t do that, surely. Not after everything they’d been through, not after what he’d said in the bath.

I always wanted you.

But did he mean all of him, or just for sex?

Izuku’s spoon hit the bottom of the bowl and he looked down, realizing he’d eaten all of the beef stew, though he had no recollection of doing so. 

He slowly stood up from the table and brought his bowl to the sink, exchanging a few words with Iida before he excused himself to the bathroom, the red in his cheeks finally able to escape their held-back prison and flooding Izuku’s entire body with heat. 

He locked the stall door behind him, pushing his back against the wall and letting out the shaky breath that he’d been holding for the better part of twenty minutes, his hands darting to his belt and getting his pants down quickly.

Izuku pushed them down only until they billowed at his knees, leaning forward to keep them from falling on the floor as he slowly pushed his boxers off, his thighs slick and sticky as he looked between his legs. 

It made a small pool in the middle of his underwear, nothing too terrible, much to Izuku’s relief. He pushed himself to the side and grabbed a wad of toilet paper, scrunching it up in his fist and pulling it up his legs to clean up the excess cum that had dribbled out. 

Fuck. He should’ve just done this in the locker room, it would’ve spared him so much internalized humiliation and awkwardness. 

Izuku threw the balls of paper into the toilet, flushing it hastily and pulling his pants back up, pressing a palm to his cheek.

All he could feel was heat. Like when he was a little kid and had a fever, when his mother would press the back of her hand to his forehead and call him out of school. 

Those fevers were usually caused by a cold, not scarlet eyes and eager hands gripping his waist. 

Izuku unlocked the stall and leaned on the sink, running the cold water and placing his soaked hand on his face, trying to make the blush subside before he returned back to his friends. 

“You feeling okay, Midoriya?” Asui croaked as soon as he left the bathroom, causing Izuku to jump and grab at his chest.

“Fuck-“ He spoke quickly, chuckling and nodding once he calmed himself down. “Sorry, yes, I’m fine,” he continued to laugh, loosening his grip on his shirt. “You scared me, Asui.”

She chuckled lightly and turned around to walk back to the common room with him. “Sorry, ribbit. I was wondering what was taking you so long. Thought you were sick.”

Izuku shook his head slowly, approaching the stretch of sofa that their friends were sat at, raising his hand to signal that he was alright to Iida, who looked concerned as he turned his head toward him. “Sorry I took so long.” He apologized as he sat down, Asui taking a seat beside Uraraka. 

They asked him if he was feeling okay, pretty much repeating the conversation he’d just had with Asui verbatim, to which he gave the same answers and tried his hardest to seem normal. Of course nothing was wrong, why would there be? 

Katsuki sat all the way across the room at a table with his dumbass friends, playing a game of cards that he had no interest in, barely even keeping himself in the game. 

Kaminari dragged him into it, much to his protest, forcing him to participate and “have fun with us!”. His hand was dealt with a groan, and he’d been playing half bored ever since. 

Katsuki glanced up at the couch, staring at Izuku from across the room, meeting his gaze for a few glorious seconds, before Izuku looked away and went back to the conversation he was having with his friends. He smirked, before Kirishima kicked him from under the table.

“You gonna go, Bakugou?” He snickered, trying to keep his laughter contained as Kaminari stifled beside him. 

“Oi!” Katsuki snapped, jerking his head back to the table, fuming. “Don’t you fucking kick me, shitty hair!” He snatched a card from the deck, sitting back as Kirishima and Kaminari cackled to the point of nearly dropping their cards.

“Then don’t take so long to take your turn!” Kirishima laughed.

From what Katsuki could see of Izuku, he figured that his earlier comment had come to pass. 

Though it was brief, he could see Izuku’s still pink cheeks, the slight look of light embarrassment and nervousness before he was forced to look away. 

As Izuku continued the conversation he was having, all he could see was Katsuki’s eyes.

The crimson in them deepened the second they made eye contact, a small grin growing on Katsuki’s lips before he was spun back to his friends, yelling at them in typical fashion and leaving Izuku to only look in his direction, craving him. 

The look on Katsuki’s face, the way his eyes darkened, the smirk tugging on his cheeks. It all said I know. No one else but me knows what I did to you. 

Izuku adjusted his position on the couch, and pushed the thoughts back until later. 

Chapter Text

They both went to bed that night separately, and decided to not push their luck and sneak another round, despite the longing look they shared earlier and the fact that they both really, really wanted to.

Katsuki exchanged a brief look with him before he went to bed, and when their eyes locked for that half-second, Izuku’s thighs ached more than they did already. The world stopped, everything around him went blank and blurry, it was only him and Katsuki and each other.

And then his head turned, and Izuku was telling his friends that he was going to head to bed soon.

It was weird not having to sneak out after everyone went to bed. Sleeping alone was on the verge of being borderline unnatural for Izuku, he was so used to going to Katsuki’s and being with him at night, feeling an extra bit of weight on the mattress, that when he actually slept alone, he had to readjust himself. 

A part of him missed the little game he played, trying to be quiet as he tiptoed down to Katsuki’s, opening the door in silence and whispering a little “Kacchan?” under his breath.

There would always be other days. 

At least he didn’t have to worry about rolling over and hitting anyone, he didn’t have to sneak out at the first inkling of dawn before their classmates woke up. It all felt almost… foreign. It was kinda nice.

It was a little lonely, though, the solitude of his dorm room.

Under his sheets, Izuku mindlessly ran his fingers over his sides. 

His hands traced over the places where Katsuki’s were earlier in the day, lingering over his hips, tracing the areas where Katsuki’s fingers were pressed to his skin and gripping him tight. His hands hovered above his thighs, the back of them still a little bruised from the sink. 

Izuku’s phone chirped, and he jumped, slightly. 

Kacchan: How fast did you clean up after you got back

Izuku rolled his eyes once he saw the message, Kacchan’s light tease also forcing heat into his face, for what felt like the millionth time that day.

He let out a breath. Of course Kacchan had to prod and tease him. He typed his reply.

Deku: Not fast enough

Katsuki chuckled softly to himself. Deku was awake, to his relief, and he texted back quickly, which meant he wanted that message as much as Katsuki wanted to send it. 

He slid open his phone and read the message. 

So the nerd did just pull up his pants and go back to the dorms. Deku had to walk around with his cum in his ass, knowing what was happening, but not being able to do a damn thing about it. As much as Katsuki wanted to tease him for it, he couldn’t help but find it kind of hot. 

Kacchan: Tell me you at least cleaned it up since

Izuku rolled his eyes again and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. 

Deku: Duh. But not before Iida could pull me away and have a conversation

Katsuki bit his lip as he started to blush. Deku had to stand there, listening to Iida go on about fuck only knows what, while he was dripping out of him. Fuck . 

Kacchan: Wish I could’ve seen it

Izuku’s blush only worsened. 

What the hell did Katsuki mean by that? He wished he could’ve seen the silent anxiety he endured standing there talking to Iida, or wished he could’ve seen… something else?

He pursed his lips and tried to fight off the airy feeling that was growing in his chest.

Deku: Which part?

Katsuki shifted himself on his bed, rolling over to the other side. Was Deku teasing him?

Kacchan: Both

Izuku’s heart was racing now, and all he was doing was reading words on a screen. They were just little grey chat bubbles with a scramble of letters, and yet they were making his entire body burn. 

Deku: Yeah?

Damn. So the nerd could be as much of a tease as Katsuki could. He typed his response all too quickly, but he didn’t care.

Kacchan: Yeah. Would’ve done anything to watch it drip out of you

Izuku hitched in a breath, holding it without realizing, his heart pounding in his ears. He squeezed his thighs together, his cock tenting uncomfortably in his sweatpants. He shifted his hips on his thighs, trying to rub any sort of friction on himself that he could get. 

Deku: Wanna see you

Katsuki swallowed thickly as soon as the message came in. 

Wanna see you. 

Fuck. Katsuki wanted to march down the hall so Izuku could see how badly he wanted him just as much. His cock throbbed in his boxers.

Katsuki hesitated for a second, one hand snaking down and palming his cock through his underwear. He pulled the hem up a few inches, pushing his phone down between his legs and taking a picture before he changed his mind. 

Kacchan: Want you so fuckin bad

Izuku could’ve sworn that his heart stopped. He was expecting something like it when it took Katsuki a few minutes to respond, but it still left him breathless nonetheless.

It was a dark picture, sans the focal point of Katsuki’s cock from the camera’s flash, and his hand holding up his blue checkered underwear. He could make out the tiny patch of blonde hair at the base, casting a little shadow on his lower stomach. His tip was flushed a soft pink, and Izuku could slightly see part of the underside vein that he liked to lick when he sucked Katsuki off. Izuku couldn’t stop staring at it.

His own cock leaked precum the more and more he looked at it. 

He was taking far too long to respond.

Izuku stood up from his bed, walking to his bathroom in silence and flicking on the light. He pushed down his sweatpants, discarding them on the floor along with his boxers, looking up at himself in the mirror.

Fuck. What was he going to send him, how was he going to make it look good? He could bend over, show off his ass, or maybe he could sit on the counter. 

Fuck. He was overthinking this, and his blush was only getting deeper. 

Katsuki was afraid he’d done something wrong. He stared at the little Read 11:34 PM under the picture of his dick and the message he sent, waiting for the little bubble that said that Izuku was typing. Did he not like it? Did he not want it?!

Maybe it was a mistake, he shouldn’t have sent something like that so soon, he should’ve kept to using his words and built up to it. Damn it.

A message came in. 

Katsuki nearly choked on air. 

A picture of Deku, in his dorm room bathroom he presumed, hiked up on the sink. His ass was partly sitting on the little ledge of the sink counter, plump and still slightly red from where Katsuki was gripping it earlier. Deku’s one hand was pushed in front of him, holding his cock at its base, the tip bubbling with a few dots of precum. The other held his phone in front of his face, much to Katsuki’s slight disappointment. 

Deku: Can you tell how badly I want you?

God damn it . He could look at it forever. He wanted to bend him over that counter and stare at his face in the mirror as he pounded him. 

He could get off to that picture for weeks if he had to. 

Katsuki lowered his hand down to his cock by habit, wrapping his fingers around it and beginning to stroke himself as he stared at the picture Deku had sent.

He pumped his dick a few times, achingly slow, snapping a picture with his hand halfway up it, sending it to Deku hastily.

Kacchan: So fucking hot

Izuku had barely gotten over the embarrassment of sending the picture before the message came in, and his cheeks sprang to life with color again.

He’d already made his way out of the bathroom, now lingering back near his bed, his knees buckling under him as soon as he saw it.

There was no bathroom sink to sit on anymore, nothing to prop himself up on to showcase his ass and make himself look at least semi-decent. 

Izuku turned toward his desk, pulling the chain on the lamp and dragging his chair to the mirror on the side of his dresser. 

He sat down in the chair, sliding the lamp over as much as its cord allowed it to, turning it to point the light toward him and the mirror.

Izuku bit his lip and reached his hand up to his face, sucking a few of his fingers into his mouth and quickly moving them back down to between his legs, pressing the pad of one of them to his hole. He circled it a few times before pushing inside, whining lightly, chest glowing red.

He raised his legs up, biting his lip as his ass pushed forward, his finger slipping in up until the last knuckle. He pumped it inside a few times, tilting his head back and biting his lip to keep from being loud. He worked in the second one, and then raised his phone to take a picture. 

Deku: Wish it was you

This one took much longer than the second one, much to Katsuki’s anxiety, but god was it worth it. 

Deku’s legs were up and parted, bent at the knees, the lamp on the ledge beside him casting enough light so that he could see the little pink hues on Izuku’s knees. 

His middle and ring finger were pushed deep inside of himself, all the way up to the last knuckle. The glow of the lamp illuminated all of him, including Izuku’s ever-red face, which was no longer being hidden by his phone. 

Katsuki’s eyes kept falling to his fingers in his ass, staring at how tight his hole was gripping them, puffy and pink as Deku pushed them in farther. He could see it now, fingers fucking into his tight hole, Deku’s whimpers, his thoughts nothing but of Katsuki. He was getting off on the thought of Deku wanting him so badly he was willing to stuff his hole with his fingers to get an inkling of a fix. 

God. All he wanted was to be there, replacing Deku’s fingers with his own, pushing into him and looking down at his face before he exchanged his fingers with his cock.

He wanted Deku to clench around him as he pushed inside, wanted those legs to wrap around his waist and never let go.

Katsuki pumped himself harder, staring intently down at the picture. It was Deku and imagining his pretty moans and tight ass and roaming fingers that scratched at his back and left crescent moon imprints in his shoulders. 

It was Deku. 

He came only a few seconds later, groaning under his breath, trembling, his phone falling to the side.

It buzzed again, signaling another message. 

Deku: Made a fuckin mess

It was similar to the photo he’d sent a few minutes earlier, except this time his hands were out of his ass and wrapped around his dick, which was sitting against his stomach, leaking all over himself.

Katsuki panted, trying to catch his breath after coming down from his high. He grabbed his phone, shakily sending a similar picture.

Kacchan: Made a bigger one

Izuku closed his legs and brought his hands to his face, covering it to hide his flushed embarrassment from no one but himself. He wheeled himself over to his bed and crashed face-down onto it.

Fuck. He couldn’t believe he did that.

Izuku wanted Katsuki so badly, he craved him like nothing else. It was like this insatiable need, an ache that wouldn’t ever go away. 

He’d never done anything like this with anyone, not even Todoroki. It was a line he hadn’t crossed with anyone.

What the hell were they?

We’re they still just convenient fuck buddies, useful only when they were horny and needing a release?

He was certainly fine with that. It worked for so long, and it would surely continue to work. But a part of Izuku wanted more, a part of Izuku had always wanted more.

He didn’t want to ask, though. He could spare himself that awkwardness, spare himself from Kacchan’s hesitation and the fear of everyone finding them out. 

For now. 

Across the hall, Katsuki was smirking to himself as he breathed heavily atop his sheets.

Deku was thinking of him as he sent those pictures, thinking of him as he came, thinking of him as he crooked his fingers in his ass.

Todoroki could eat his heart out. Deku was his.

Katsuki stared up at his ceiling, and widened his grin.

Chapter Text

“Neither of you will be participating in the overnight workshop with the pros this coming weekend.” Aizawa stood at his desk, eyebrows furrowed in exhausted anger, darting his attention between Izuku and Katsuki.

They both gawked at the same time. “But, Mr. Aiza-“

“No. I’ve already made up my mind.” He folded his arms across his chest and watched as they both sulked back in compliance, their mouths shut. “After your little display this afternoon, you’ll be spending the long weekend at the dorms, doing every chore and making sure the building is spotless by the time the class comes back.” He paused, just for a moment. “Am I clear?”

They both nodded, spinning on their heels once Aizawa gave them a “you’re dismissed”, walking out of his office in unified silence, not even so much as glancing at each other.

It was training, that afternoon.

Katsuki was attempting a new move he’d been working on, only for Izuku to get in his way and ruin the entire thing. 

“Fucker!” Katsuki screamed as Izuku came back to the ground, sparks of One for All still flashing around him. “Stay out of my fucking way!”

“You can get the damned next one!” Izuku snapped a retort, rearing back to launch himself again. In the heat of the moment, he found himself unable to restrain his mouth from running like Katsuki’s did, especially when the reason he was being screamed at was as trivial as that. 

He was tackled to the ground before he could even think about jumping. 

“Asshole!” Katsuki yelled, trying to wrestle him to the ground, palms sparking as he tried to grab Izuku’s wrists. He blew a punch to his jaw in his struggle.

“What the fuck?!” Izuku tried to roll over, tried to wrench himself from Katsuki’s grip and flip him over so he wasn’t getting continuously hit. “Kacchan, let go of me!” 

They struggled with each other for a few minutes, wrestling on the ground as their classmates and teachers watched, before Aizawa launched his scarf and untangled both of them within a second. 

“Bakugou, Midoriya, my office, now.” 

Izuku stared down at his shoes in guilt as they both walked away from Aizawa’s office.

He’d been looking forward to that workshop for weeks. So many top pros were going to be there, training them and giving them enough tips to fill a million of Izuku’s analysis notebooks. He’d been thinking about it incessantly since it was announced, and now he had to stay in the confinement of the dorms while the rest of his class got to go.

Well, not the rest of his class. 

Katsuki’s hands were buried deep in his pockets, his expression completely blank as they walked to their rooms, his eyes down at the floor so he could avoid looking at Izuku as much as he possibly could. 

Fucking Deku. If he hadn’t just gotten out of his goddamn way, they wouldn’t be in this mess. They’d still be going to train with top pros, top pros that Katsuki wanted to show off against, top pros that Katsuki wanted to show that he was stronger than. But no, fucking Deku had to go and get in his way and piss him off.

Oh, he was practically fuming . He was sure that if the nerd opened his mouth to talk, he’d punch it. 

An inkling in him knew it wasn’t entirely his fault, though. If he hadn’t lost his patience they would’ve been fine. Maybe they’d have a little bickering spat, but that would’ve just been normal for them. No one would have even noticed it, and they’d let it go immediately. Those little things were typical for them, especially during training. But he had gotten too pissed off, and now here they were. 

Fuck. It was both of their faults.

Katsuki kept walking, even as Izuku stopped at his door to get into his room, not even pausing to look back. He could hear his door open, closing with a quiet squeak a moment later, before Katsuki was back in his own dorm and ready to punch the entrance wall. 

Fuck.

He threw himself onto his bed and pressed his hands to his face, dragging them down harshly to keep himself from screaming out in frustration. He buried his nails into his hair, tugging at the ends and breathing deeply, exhaling hard to keep the anger at bay. 

His hands dragged down the entire length of his face, finally resting at his sides as he continued to breathe, eyes fixed on a single spot in the ceiling that was slowly growing blurrier and blurrier the more he stared at it. The blood pounding in his ears finally started to subside after a couple of minutes, once he got his breathing under control.

In and out. In and out. One, two, three, four… 

It was a technique taught to him by a therapist that his parents brought him to when he was in early middle school. He told both his parents and the shrink to fuck off at the time, but the shit the woman taught him came in handy sometimes, he had to admit. And as much as he hated it at the time, he wished he'd stuck it out with her for longer than he did. 

Maybe she would've untangled the fucked up knot that was Deku in his head. But whatever, that wasn’t important now, Katsuki hadn’t seen the woman since he was fourteen anyway. 

God damn Deku. Now they both had to miss the workshop they both—hell, the entire fucking class—had been looking forward to, forced to sit on the sidelines and clean the dorm like they did after their fight at Ground Beta. Except this time they weren’t only missing class time, they were missing a fucking workshop where they could rub elbows with top pros. It was the only thing everyone had been talking about for weeks. 

He should’ve just let the entire thing go. He should’ve just given Izuku shit in the moment, run his mouth to him and then blasted off to the next target to be destroyed. But no, it had to be complicated, because everything between them had to be complicated. 

God he didn’t want to clean the entire freaking dorms, but at least he wouldn’t be alone. 

Katsuki rolled his head to the side and looked at his phone, laying face down beside his pillow.

Shit. He should text him, give him some shit. Maybe apologize after a while.

He grabbed his phone and opened it, but was confronted with a resounding little chime as soon as he punched in his passcode. Deku had beat him to it. Bastard. 

Deku: I’m really sorry about earlier. I knew you were excited 

Katsuki couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Yeah he was excited, who the fuck wasn’t?! It was hard not to get excited when the entire freaking class talked about nothing but how fun this workshop was going to be. 

Kacchan: Yeah, I was

Izuku chewed on his lip feverishly, watching as the message came in. 

The guilt was clawing at him ever since Aizawa had called them into his office. This mess was his fault, his fault for not paying attention to where Kacchan was going, his fault for having to snap back at him and not just keeping his mouth shut. His fault for throwing the harshest punches that only warranted an even harder retaliation. 

And now he had to spend a long weekend cleaning and tending to every chore that needed to be done in the dorms with Kacchan. 

Kacchan. Izuku was so afraid that he hated him now, because how could he not? He was the reason he couldn’t go on this trip that everyone had been looking forward to for weeks.

He was terrified that everything they’d built up was gone, reduced to nothing in a matter of hours. 

Deku: I’ll do the majority of the chores if you want

The nerd’s selfless nature was annoying sometimes, if Katsuki were honest. Sometimes he just wanted Deku to tell him off and call him a fucking asshole for once. 

Kacchan: Shut up. It was both of our faults, idiot

Izuku perked up just a bit at the message. So, did that mean…?

Deku: Do you hate me?

Katsuki clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and almost shouted his answer across the hallway.

Kacchan: What? Don’t be fucking stupid, I don’t hate you nerd, shit. You’d know if I hated you

Izuku exhaled, silently saying a prayer of thanks and reminding himself to visit the shrine soon. 

Another message came.

Kacchan: I know you were excited for it too, we both fucked each other over

He chuckled at that one. Katsuki wasn’t exactly wrong. 

Deku: Maybe having the dorms to ourselves won’t be so bad

Katsuki rolled his eyes again.

Kacchan: Yeah, maybe we’ll watch movies at night without anyone bothering us

Izuku flushed and chuckled to himself.

Deku: What do you wanna watch, Akira? Like when we were kids in your living room?

Katsuki smirked at the memory. 

They were no older than five or six, sitting on Katsuki’s living room floor, trying not to be loud enough to wake his mother. It was just the darkness and the glow of the TV, watching Akira, which Katsuki had stolen from his dad after he rented it. They were way too young to be watching it, Deku covering his eyes with his hands at the scary parts, but he couldn’t look away, neither of them could. 

Kacchan: Fuck yeah we can watch Akira. You still gonna cover your eyes?

Izuku chuckled and blushed, much to his annoyance. No one was even in his room, what the hell was he blushing for?!

Deku: Uh yeah?? Do you not remember that one scene?? Terrifying!!

Katsuki laughed, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Suddenly, he wasn’t angry at all. 

Katsuki: C’mon, you’re so much older now

Deku: Don’t try and pretend like you didn’t close your eyes either

Katsuki laughed again. Deku wasn’t exactly wrong. 

Maybe having the dorms to themselves wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

Katsuki: Fuck, we’re gonna be bored out of our minds

Deku: Eh. I’m sure we’ll find things to do

Katsuki chuckled to himself and rolled his eyes again.

Damn nerd, always an optimist. What were they going to do, twiddle their thumbs and play board games for a few days? What else was there to fucking do by themselves in the dorms— 

By themselves. In the dorms. Fuck. 

Katsuki bit down on his lip.

Kacchan: Yeah. You’re probably right

Izuku looked at the message before he turned his phone off, letting it fall next to him on the bed as he rolled over onto his back.

So Katsuki didn’t hate him. That was going to make being in the dorms alone with him so much easier. 

His phone beeped again. 

Kacchan: Being alone in these dorms won't be so bad, you're right

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. Wasn’t he just complaining literal seconds earlier?

Izuku: Yeah?

Kacchan: Yeah. We’ll be alone, Deku

Izuku only grew more confused. 

Deku: Yeah, I know

Katsuki snorted. For being so smart, the nerd was so fucking dense sometimes. 

Kacchan: We’ll be alone, Deku. 

Izuku sat there, rereading the message over and over again, before it finally clicked all at once.

Holy shit. They were going to be alone, alone alone, with no one to bother them but themselves. They could do anything they wanted.

Izuku could sleep in Katsuki’s dorm all night and not have to worry about sneaking out, they could sit close on the couch without having to feel the need to look over their shoulder every two minutes…

They could do anything. 

Deku: Oh. 

Katsuki smirked to himself and shook his head. Damn nerd finally understood now. 

Kacchan: Yeah. Oh. 

Izuku pursed his lips, darting his tongue out to swipe across them before he answered. 

Izuku: I don’t think being alone in the dorms is going to be bad at all, actually

Katsuki: Neither do I. Looking forward to it, in fact

Izuku brought his phone down to his chest, trying not to hyperventilate as he continued to think about it.

They could do anything they wanted to. Which meant that when they fucked, Izuku no longer needed to hold back. 

Neither did Katsuki.

Chapter Text

Aizawa stood in front of Izuku and Katsuki at the doors to the dorms, extending a piece of paper out for one of them to grab. “These dorms are to be spotless by the time we get back on Tuesday.” 

Izuku took the paper, skimming over the list of tasks for them to do, glancing back up at Aizawa as he continued to talk. He caught a glimpse of the bus behind him, but he quickly diverted his attention from it. 

“You can get your meals from Lunch Rush or you can make them with whatever’s in the kitchen, I don’t care. Don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone. Don’t set the dorms on fire.”

Izuku set the paper under his arm and nodded, replying with “yes, sir” at the same time Katsuki did. They both watched Aizawa turn and walk toward the bus before they went in the opposite direction. 

“This sucks.” Katsuki was second back into the dorms after Izuku, hands in his pockets as he rounded in front of him, reaching out a hand for the paper under Izuku’s arm.

“Yeah,” Izuku answered, trying to hide his disappointment as he could hear the bus pull out of the parking lot. He handed Katsuki the paper, exhaling out a sigh. “I got Akira, by the way.” His disappointment quickly gave way to a growing smirk, his arms crossing over his chest. 

Yes, not being able to go to the workshop with everyone sucked ass, but they were alone . Alone, for the longest weekend trip the class would take. 

Katsuki read over the list a few times. “Yeah?” He chuckled, glancing up at Izuku and smirking. “This is all Aizawa gave us to do?”

Izuku nodded. “He didn’t mention anything else. That was the only list he made.”

Katsuki looked back at it, just to read over it a few more times. It was the usual chores: vacuum the floors, collect and take out the trash, wash and organize the dishes, among other things. But it was surprisingly short, Katsuki figured Aizawa couldn’t find much for them to do. Good. 

“We could finish this shit today.” Katsuki lowered the paper from his view, smirking down at Izuku sitting on the edge of the couch. “Get it the fuck out of the way so we can do what we want to do.”

The suggestion made Izuku tingle. He could feel the excitement bubble in his chest, making him feel airy and weightless. What we want to do. Fuck, Izuku couldn’t have been more excited if he tried. 

Whatever they wanted to do. Izuku could stay in Katsuki’s room the entire time, he didn’t have to worry about leaving early in the morning, didn’t have to worry about being quiet as he walked down the hall back to his own dorm, making sure no one heard their little secret. They didn’t even have to keep everything in his dorm. Fuck. 

Izuku chuckled. “Your dorm tonight, then? After we’re done with everything?”

Katsuki cocked an eyebrow at him. “Who said it had to be at night?”

Fuck. They didn’t even need to wait until nightfall. God, they should get into fistfights during training more often. Izuku blushed and tried his best not to let his smile widen. “Right.” He said, pushing himself off of the sofa arm, grabbing the paper from Katsuki to look at it again. “I’ll take the trash out and do the dishes.”

Katsuki groaned. “Ugh, leaving me to do the vacuuming?!” He whined, turning as Izuku started toward the kitchen. 

Izuku shrugged and giggled, turning the sink faucet on. “Sorry, Kacchan!” 

Katsuki groaned again, louder this time. “Fucking dick!” 

Izuku laughed over the sound of the water. 

Aizawa gave them a small list of chores to do, but it took them longer than they thought it would. 

It was like Aizawa purposely made sure every one of their tasks was stacked full. The dishes were piled high in the sink, the trash bins were full, and it had taken Katsuki an hour and a half just to clean the first floor of the dorms. Izuku was just finishing up the seemingly endless mountain of dishes, finally. He never realized the sheer amount of dishware his classmates used. 

“Alright, the upstairs is done.” Katsuki dragged the vacuum cleaner out of the elevator, huffing as he made his way toward the kitchen. “You still washing plates?!” 

Izuku ran the towel over the plate he was holding in his hand, surface-drying it enough for it to be returned back into the cabinet. “Finally finishing up.” He turned his head to Katsuki briefly, watching him stop at the trash can across the kitchen, setting the plate back on its shelf. “How was the upstairs?”

Katsuki lifted the lid off of the trash can, emptying the vacuum bag into it, shaking to get all of the dust out. “Fuckin’ filthy, does no one notice the fucking dust in the corners?!” 

Izuku chuckled and shrugged, closing the cabinet door and rinsing the soap remnants off of his hands. “Guess not.”

“You takin’ this out?” Katsuki asked, getting the last of the dirt out of the bag, looking up at Izuku just as he turned around. 

“Yeah, I can.” Izuku answered, but he didn’t really hear himself talk. 

He caught Katsuki’s gaze, watching as he emptied the vacuum bag, both of their faces stoic, but their eyes worked into each other at the same time. They were ten feet away, but it didn’t matter.

Izuku’s eyes skimmed down Katsuki’s body before they lifted back to his face, and from there, Izuku undressed him.

Izuku could see his hands extend toward him, throwing his shirt off, pressing down his sides until they pried his legs open and his mouth attached itself to his neck. He could feel Katsuki’s breath against his jaw, heavy thighs connecting with his hips as he thrusted inside of him, hands roaming all over until they settled at his hips, grabbing at him and holding him tightly in place. Katsuki’s hair brushed against his neck, and he could hear a low groaned “fuck.”  

Izuku blinked, and they were ten feet away. 

He pursed his lips and pushed himself off of the counter, tying the trash bag in a knot as he lifted it out of the can. “I’ll take it out now.” He drifted so close to Katsuki, walking away a few paces before he turned around. “Is that the last of it?”

Katsuki nodded and leaned on the wall behind him. “That’s it.” 

He followed Izuku as he turned around and walked outside to take the trash out, and for a second, he contemplated pinning him against the counter and bending him over on it. 

Katsuki was so fucking antsy, it was getting painful to hold it in anymore. 

Izuku returned a minute later, dusting his hands off on his shorts. “Was that the last chore?”

Katsuki nodded. “That’s all we had to do. Took all fuckin’ day, but as long as we don’t let shit get too messy, we’re done.” 

Izuku tilted his head back in relief, laughing and relaxing his shoulders. “Fuck, finally.” He chuckled, lifting himself back up after a second. “Do you wanna watch Akira?”

Katsuki pushed himself off of the wall and started toward him. “You know what I want.”

The change in his tone made Izuku shudder. 

He’d heard that drop in his voice many times before, Izuku was no stranger to it. It would be quickly followed by the darkening of his expression, eyes becoming a richer dark cerise, lips curling into a knowing smirk as he drifted closer. Usually Izuku saw it right after they’d fuck, after he’d come out of his bathroom and Katsuki would look at him and try and beckon him back to bed. 

He saw a version of it whenever they’d lock eyes across the room before Izuku went up to his dorm later that night. 

“I do?” Izuku teased, just to test the waters.

Katsuki chuckled and leaned down into him once he was close enough. “Yeah, you do.” He breathed, bending to his ear, lips brushing against the tip of it. “Should bend you over right here, on the counter,” he moved his hands to Izuku’s waist, holding him there as he breathed, “no one would ever know.” He chuckled, pressing his lips to Izuku’s jaw and curling his fingers under his thighs. “But that would be another mess we’d have to clean up, and I really don’t feel like doing that shit.”

Izuku tilted his head back as he moved his lips over his neck, his cock sitting uncomfortably hard in his boxers. “Fuck,” he breathed, bringing his hands to Katsuki’s shoulders, “fuck, take me to your dorm, then?”

Katsuki pulled Izuku up onto his waist quickly, staggering away from the counter as he carried him sloppily. “Was planning on it!” He punched the elevator button once he got to the other side of the common area, waiting for the doors to ding open before he shoved Izuku inside and pushed him against the silvery metallic wall, fingers fumbling to press the floor button. 

Their mouths were on each other in an instant, hands pushing and pulling at their clothes while their lips parted. Katsuki ran his tongue along Izuku’s bottom lip, forcing him to whimper into his mouth, which he gladly received. Katsuki pulled away after a minute, panting while he caught his breath and wobbling as he peeled Izuku off of the wall when the elevator doors opened again. 

Katsuki stumbled down the hallway, pulling his lips down Izuku’s jaw and nipping at the skin, Izuku clawing his hands down his back, harsh on Katsuki’s skin even over top of his shirt.

They parted from their kiss much too soon, leaving them both desperate and wanting, and when Katsuki finally reached his door, he couldn’t yank it open quick enough. 

“Fuck,” Katsuki swayed in the doorway, kicking it closed with his heel as he shuffled toward his bed, dropping Izuku down onto it and darting his hands to the hem of his shirt to rip it off the top of his head. 

Izuku wasn’t far behind, sitting up once he was dropped down, pulling his own shirt off and quickly moving to his belt, pulling it through the loops once it was unbuckled and working on his pants thereafter. “Get the—”

“Got it,” Katsuki answered before Izuku could get the rest of his sentence out, leaning over the bed and grabbing the lube from his bedside table drawer. 

Izuku squirmed in anticipation, biting the inside of his cheek to keep the excitement in.

They didn’t have to hold back. They didn’t have to worry about people hearing, or the bed creaking too much, or being too loud, they didn’t have to worry about anything. Izuku honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Turn around.” Katsuki’s boxers were dangling off of his ankle as he balanced on one foot, kicking them off and crawling onto the bed as Izuku turned to face the wall behind him. 

Izuku held himself up on his hands, shivering when Katsuki’s palms ran over his ass, his knee wrenching between his ankles and spreading his legs apart. He could hear the knowing pop of the lid cracking, and when he craned his head to look at Katsuki, he slapped his ass with his free hand.

Izuku yelped out a little whimper, and Katsuki chuckled, licking his lips. “Fuck, been wanting something like this for so long.” He spread the few drops of lube he’d dolloped in his hands across his fingers, moving them between Izuku’s legs and pressing his middle finger to his hole. “Gonna make sure you remember this for days.” 

Izuku let out a breathy whimper once the finger pushed inside, his back arching down as he set his forehead on his arms. He had to manually tell himself that he didn’t need to bite his lip to keep the sounds quiet, he didn’t need to muffle himself with the back of his hand. There was no one around to hear him but Katsuki. His cock throbbed. 

Katsuki pushed his finger in until he hit his knuckle, slowly pumping it and grabbing at Izuku’s ass with his other hand. “So eager, huh?” He teased, crooking his finger and grinning at how Izuku tensed up and whined. “Oh, you want it that bad?”

Izuku nodded furiously and pushed his hips back into Katsuki’s hand, clenching on him once he added another finger and wincing as he adjusted to the sudden intrusion. He added it too early, but the few seconds of burn felt too good. Fuck, he was going to lose his mind just from Katsuki’s fingers. “I want it, I want it so bad,” he whimpered, shifting his head so he was looking back at Katsuki, the side of his cheek leaning on his hand under him. “Please, Kacchan, I want it.”

If Katsuki wasn’t careful, he was going to cum just from Izuku’s facial expression. He spread his fingers apart inside of him, Deku’s writhing moans driving him insane. He ripped his fingers out in an instant, trying to ignore Deku’s needy whine as he pumped lube onto his cock. 

“Gonna fuck you so fucking hard,” Katsuki positioned himself back behind him, hands planted on Izuku’s hips as he wrenched the tip inside. He had to hold back from letting out a low groan. “Gonna fuck you so hard that you forget everything but my cock in your ass.”

Izuku moaned out against his hand as his hips were pulled back to meet Katsuki’s push, feeling him sink all the way in until he was buried inside him up to the hilt. 

Katsuki started a pace immediately, his hips softly smacking against Izuku’s as he began, a promise that it would only get harder as he went on. He finally moaned, tilting his head back for a second as he smacked his ass again. “Sucking me in so fuckin’ good,” he groaned, mesmerized as he watched himself disappear inside of him. He moved quicker, pulling Izuku’s hips back with his thrusts, losing himself. 

Izuku turned his head to lay on the sheets, cheek pressed down into them, moaning every time Katsuki’s hips hit him. “Fuck, Kacchan, please.” He moaned, continuously, every single movement that Katsuki delivered eliciting a whimper or a moan out of him, his voice only growing louder as Katsuki quickened. “Please, harder, feels so fucking good.”

Katsuki watched him writhe under him, blinking dumbly at his whimpers and pleas as he fucked him harder. Holy shit, is this how he would’ve been the entire time if we didn’t have to hold back? He was a desperate mess, begging Katsuki to go harder or faster or deeper with every slam, nothing was enough for him. 

Katsuki swore he had never seen or heard anything hotter. He wasn’t going to last long if Deku kept acting like this.

“Fuck, you want it harder, nerd?” He pounded into him, the bed creaking every time he moved, his hand crawling up Izuku’s back and tangling in his curls, yanking him up by the hair. “You need my cock that much, huh?”

Izuku nodded, a little desperate sob ripping from his chest, gasping in a breath as he moaned. “Yes, please, I need it!” He begged, scrunching his face up as he whined. 

Katsuki pulled his hair tighter, keeping his head up firmly, forcing Deku forward with every slam. “Fucking Deku, so fucking desperate for my cock, huh? Wanna be fucked that bad?”

Izuku gasped out and nodded again, arching his back into Katsuki as he moaned. “Yes, fuck, Kacchan,” He trailed off, Katsuki’s last thrust making him moan again, the sound cut off by a high-pitched whimper. “I’m a whore, I’m a whore for your cock, please…” He babbled, his head clouding as his cock throbbed, body tensing as he reached the peak. “I’m a whore, I’m a whore…”

Katsuki was speechless. He genuinely thought he was in a dream, watching Izuku unravel under him from his cock, moaning loud enough to drown out the smack of their hips, and now this. I’m a whore, I’m a whore. Katsuki was going to get off on that for weeks. 

“Fuck, Deku,” He groaned, his own body going rigid, his pace stuttering as he came. Deku already did a few seconds before, leaving Katsuki to ride out his own as he trembled, fist still in Izuku’s hair. 

Izuku breathed heavily, tracks from thin tears of desperation drying on his cheeks as Katsuki pulled out of him, letting him fall down to the bed as he wobbled down himself. Izuku rolled over onto his back, chest rising and falling rapidly as he breathed, opening his eyes a crack to look up at Katsuki.

Katsuki wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, panting, trying to catch his breath. “Go get cleaned up.” He managed, voice wavering and breathy.

Izuku sat up slowly, nodding and standing up on shaky legs, swaying to the bathroom.

Katsuki watched him close the bathroom door, and his eyes lingered on it for a few seconds. 

He never knew how fucking loud Izuku would be when the reigns were let free. He was loud, desperate, every other breath out of his lips being a beg or a moan for more. It was by sheer luck that Katsuki didn’t cum after two fucking minutes. 

Izuku cleaned himself up quickly, running the faucet to wet a hand towel to wipe the cum and the sweat off of his body, standing in front of the mirror and looking at the full-body blush that had accumulated. 

He felt cheated knowing that was how Katsuki would’ve acted the entire time. That he could go that hard and that rough without the fear or hesitation that they had to have. Fuck, Izuku couldn’t get it out of his head. He’d just gotten fucked into the mattress, literally, and he was still craving more. 

They both knew they were ruined from the previous way they’d been fucking.

Chapter Text

Izuku thought their manic, no-one-else-around-but-us sex was heaven, but he wasn’t prepared for the unfamiliar softness of morning in Katsuki’s bed. 

Not the disgustingly early morning that he was used to, the hours before dawn he’d have to wake up at so he could get back to his own room before everyone else woke up. The real morning, with the sun catching on his closed window curtains and basking Katsuki’s bedroom in an orange glow. In the nearly one year since they’d been fucking, Izuku couldn’t remember a time where he’d actually stayed in Katsuki’s room long enough to see it like this. It felt far more intimate than anything they’d ever done, even more so than the way Izuku had moaned for him the night before. It almost felt too perfect to be real, like Izuku had to pinch himself to wake himself up from a dream he knew he’d get much too attached to. 

“Oh, you’re up,” Katsuki rolled over from his side of the bed, facing Izuku after checking his phone for a second, “morning, nerd.”

Izuku offered him a half smile, sitting up and leaning on his arms as he turned toward Katsuki. “Have you been up for long?” 

Katsuki shook his head. “Nah.” He leaned on his elbow. “Twenty minutes maybe.” He skimmed his eyes over Izuku’s face, pursing his lips. “Didn’t want to get out of bed.”

Izuku shook his own head in reply, chuckling under his breath. “I don’t either.” 

Katsuki nodded, slowly, sucking in a quiet breath as his fingers crept nearer to Izuku. “Neither of us want to get out of bed, huh?” He started, gaze snapping up to Izuku as his hands snaked underneath the duvet. “What a shame.” He teased, his tongue poking out between his lips in a cheeky display that told Izuku I know how bad you want it. 

Izuku seethed through his teeth as Katsuki’s fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, his hips lifting up off of the bed as he silently gasped. 

Yeah, mornings in Katsuki’s room were heaven. 

“Kacchan,” Izuku breathed, lifting his head from it’s tilt, looking down at Katsuki and his hand on his dick. “H-Horny this morning?”

Katsuki pumped him a few times and rolled his eyes, thumb rubbing over the head. “Shut up, nerd.” He snapped, bending down and wrapping his lips around the tip, softly suckling, fixing his gaze on Izuku for his reaction. After last night, how couldn’t I be? He thought to himself, slowly moving down on Izuku’s cock. 

Izuku curled his toes and whined, fingers tangling themselves in the sheets as Katsuki’s mouth worked him. “Fuck, Kacchan,” He moaned, looking back down at him, already starting to spill over the edge. He didn’t want to, but it was getting more difficult the more he stared down at Katsuki with his cock in his mouth. 

Katsuki moved down to the base once, getting halfway up before Izuku tensed and whimpered, arching his back into him and scrunching his face, panting heavily and trembling as Katsuki pulled off of him. 

“That was fast.” Katsuki chuckled and wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb, still leaning down between Izuku’s legs as he huffed. 

“S-Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Izuku stuttered through his breaths, letting his face relax as he opened his eyes. “Did you, um, did you—”

Katsuki laughed and furrowed his eyebrows. “Yeah, idiot, what else was I supposed to do? Did you expect me to fuckin’ spit it out?” 

Izuku blinked, trying to push down the heat in his face to no avail, like always. He wasn’t sure what he had expected Katsuki to do, but he certainly didn’t expect him to fucking swallow. The thought alone made him shiver, even more so than the visual of Katsuki bobbing on his cock. Fuck, he had to think of something else before he got hard again. 

Katsuki laughed again and tapped his thigh, sitting up and rolling off of his bed. “Alright, c’mon, get dressed. We gotta go get breakfast.” 

Izuku mimicked his movents, albeit more slowly, standing up on still-wobbly legs and trying to find his clothes that had been thrown off the night before. “Are we going to Lunch Rush?” He asked, grabbing his underwear off of his little pile on the floor, hopping on one foot as he got his left leg in. 

“Fuck no,” Katsuki dragged his own boxers up his legs, “I’m making us eggs.” 

Izuku let out a breathy chuckle and started out of the room after Katsuki. “Do you make them better than your mom?” He ragged him, giggling under his breath and closing the door behind them as they made their way out into the hallway. 

“Tch,” Katsuki turned around to look at him, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance at the insult. “I make them a million times better than the hag ever did.” He punched Izuku’s arm once he caught up with him, elbowing him once he heard Izuku’s laughter afterwards. 

Izuku continued to laugh, rubbing over his arm and elbowing Katsuki right back. “I dunno, she made the best scrambled eggs. They’ll be hard to beat.” He watched Katsuki press the little triangle button for the elevator, its yellow-orange light signaling that they were going down. 

Katsuki folded his arms across his chest once he retracted his hand from the wall. “Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled, stepping through the doors once they parted, Izuku following suit. “I’ll show you good eggs.”

Izuku leaned against the back of the elevator and tried to hide his grin. “I guess I’ll be the judge of that.”

“I will literally never suck your dick again if you say her eggs are better than mine.” Katsuki pressed his thumb into the button at the bottom of the panel, turning to face Izuku as he spoke.

Izuku blushed. “Alright, alright.” He giggled through taut lips, a grin creeping up his face. 

Katsuki straightened himself out again. “That’s better.” He smirked to himself, the doors opening a second later. “How do you like your eggs?”

Izuku walked out as soon as Katsuki did, yawning. “Scrambled with soy sauce.” 

Katsuki laughed. “The same way since you were a kid, huh?” He elbowed him again, softer this time, making his way to the kitchen. 

“Hey, they’re good!” He defended, standing near the counter and leaning back against it. Izuku stood there and watched Katsuki chuckle as he opened the refrigerator door, taking out the eggs and the milk and setting them on the counter. 

This was certainly something Izuku wasn’t used to, nor was Katsuki. Izuku had only experienced the post-sex haze with Katsuki in a limited capacity, usually only for a matter of a few hours before he went back to his own room to ride out the rest of it. He never got to experience the morning after with him, definitely not like this. 

Izuku liked it a little too much. It made him feel like they were actually boyfriends, like that little fantasy in his head was actually real. He knew he shouldn’t get too attached, but he couldn’t help it. It was all too easy to get enveloped in it; it was only going to make the sting of having to stop it all when everyone came back that much worse.

No use in worrying about that now. 

“You still have Akira?” Katsuki asked, whisking the eggs in a bowl as Izuku slightly perked at his voice. 

“Yeah, why?”

Katsuki shook his head and poured the egg and milk mixture into the frying pan on the stove, letting it sizzle for a second as he grabbed the spatula. “Just wondering.” He flipped the eggs over, starting to break them up. “Wanna watch it tonight? Since, y’know, we didn’t get to last night, because, y’know…”

Izuku shook his head at the teasing, the tips of his ears turning red. “And who’s fault was that?”

Katsuki turned around and pointed the spatula at him. “Oi!” He jabbed it toward him, laughing. “I didn’t hear you complaining! Especially while my dick was in your ass!” 

Izuku covered his face and laughed, mostly to hide the blush, dragging his hands down and laughing. Fuck, how could I complain? He wanted to say, it’s a little hard to want to watch a movie when you’re being shoved against a wall and you want it so bad. “We’ll watch it tonight, then,” he said between their laughter, Katsuki turning back around to tend to the eggs so they wouldn’t burn. “After dinner, maybe?”

Katsuki nodded as he flipped the eggs over again, turning the burner off and setting the spatula down. “Yeah, that sounds good.” He half-turned around to Deku. “Grab a plate.” 

Izuku took a step forward, opening the cabinet next to Katsuki and grabbing a plate out of the pile he’d just cleaned the day before, setting it down on the counter as Katsuki poured his portion of the eggs. “Thanks for breakfast, Kacchan.” 

Katsuki looked up from the frying pan to him. “Don’t mention it.”

“I guess this is better than having to swipe the movie from my dad.” Katsuki laughed from the couch, watching Izuku fuss with a USB cable and his laptop. 

They’d just gotten back from Lunch Rush, finishing their yakisoba and katsudon at lightning speed, just so they could get back to the dorms to watch Akira. It was like they were little kids again, sneaking around in the dark and trying not to make their excitement too loud. 

Except the part where Izuku couldn’t mirror his laptop screen with the TV because of the stupid fucking USB cable, but hey, he was trying. 

“I think I got it now,” Izuku poked his tongue out in concentration, trying something in his laptop settings until the TV screen flashed. 

“Fuck, finally!” Katsuki scooted over on the couch as Izuku scampered toward him, having pressed play on the movie from his place on the floor. “You gonna close your eyes at the end like last time?”

Izuku pushed him playfully as he took his seat beside him. “Stop making fun of me for that!” He laughed, pulling his legs up onto the sofa. “You did the same damn thing!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and stretched his arm across the edge of the couch, inviting Deku into him and tilting his head back. “Yeah yeah, whatever.” He grinned, letting Deku get closer to him, shimmying onto his shoulder. 

Izuku had taken the little invitation and ran with it. Why wouldn’t he? “If I remember correctly, you were hiding behind your hands way before I was. What was it again? The teddy bear scene?” He teased, stifling a little smirk that had been growing. 

Katsuki turned his head from the opening scene down to Izuku, pressing his hand into his face and pushing him away playfully. “Shit was terrifying for a six year old!” He laughed, watching Izuku giggle under his palm. 

Izuku pried his hand away, leaning back in and laughing against his shoulder. “I’m well aware!”

Katsuki pressed his elbow into Deku’s arm before he sprawled out on the edge of the couch again, sighing. “Just watch the damn movie.” 

Izuku settled back on his shoulder again, closer to his chest this time, giggling out just a little bit as it went quiet. 

Katsuki told him to watch the movie, but he couldn’t himself. Not with Deku on his chest like this, not when they were alone, completely alone, for fucking once. All he wanted to focus on was how warm Deku was against him, and how, if he focused hard enough, he swore he could feel Deku’s heartbeat against his skin. He prayed to every Kami he ever acknowledged at the shrines his mom would take him to on the weekends that Deku couldn’t hear or feel his own, because it thrummed against his chest without mercy. 

He slowly turned his head down to look at Deku, watching the movie through his eyes, his hand making its way to his cheek and turning it toward him. He watched Deku’s attention shift from the TV to him.

“You okay, Kacchan?” Izuku asked, tilting his head and blinking up at him, leaning into Katsuki’s hand on his cheek unconsciously. 

Katsuki couldn’t help himself anymore. He leaned down, tilting Izuku’s chin up, taking his mouth with his own and exhaling against his cheek. He could feel Izuku’s hesitation, the slight pause before he melded into him, his own hand creeping up Katsuki’s chest. 

Izuku pulled away much too quickly. “I thought you wanted to watch the movie?” 

He whispered it as Katsuki’s eyes were opening, landing on his face just a few inches below his, every second that ticked by after they parted forming a hole in Katsuki’s chest that had already been chipping away. It had already been chipping away since the first time that they had fucked, but this made a full-scale collapse. 

“I love you.” 

Fuck. Katsuki was so screwed now. 

The sentence made Izuku’s heart nearly stop. He blinked at him, his face slowly catching up to the rest of his body as the words sunk into him. 

It couldn’t be real, this had to be a dream, a big, long dream that he was going to wake up from any second. It was a mere hallucination, something his mind would make up late at night when he was sleep deprived and desperate. 

Katsuki rubbed his thumb over his cheek, and he realized it wasn’t a dream. 

The last time he heard those words, he was the one saying them, and then Todoroki went cold. He wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of it. Especially not when Katsuki was the one saying them. “You do?”

Katsuki started to retreat back into himself, trying to preserve whatever feelings he had left after spilling them all over the place. “Sorry.” He apologized quickly, biting his lip. “It was stupid, I’m sorry.”

Izuku shook his head and turned Katsuki’s cheek to make him look at him again. “No, no,” he breathed, sucking in a breath, “don’t, please, I… I love you too.”

The nervousness nearly ate Izuku alive, everything inside of him screaming at him not to say it, terrified for the heartbreak that might come, but he had to. He wanted to. 

Katsuki blinked and cracked a little half smile before his head tilted back. “Fuck, shit, don’t scare me like that, asshole!” He softly punched Izuku’s arm, laughing over the sound of the movie as Izuku giggled.

Izuku laughed at the onslaught of little hits, bringing his hands up in defense. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Makin’ me look like a sap out here waiting for your fucking answer!” Katsuki brought one of the throw pillows down onto Izuku’s side as he grabbed him again, bringing him toward him as they laughed.

Katsuki had admitted it. He admitted it, out loud, not just in his head, and to Izuku. The anxiety still burned in his chest, but he couldn’t give two fucks about it right now, not with Izuku laughing as he held him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Izuku repeated, finally opening his eyes back up again as he set his hands on Katsuki’s shoulders. He raised an eyebrow once he opened his eyes fully, looking back at Katsuki’s now softened expression. “What’re you looking at?”

Katsuki shook his head slowly. “Your freckles.” He moved his hands back to Izuku’s face, fingers skimming over his cheeks. “Remember in second grade, when we learned about constellations? We had to pick a constellation and draw it.” Katsuki dipped his fingertips in a pattern across his face, carefully tracing over it. “I did Orion, I think that’s what that shit was called. Anyways, I fucking swear, you had Orion on your face. I wanted to take a marker and connect them to prove it.”

Izuku shifted in his seat, red washing under Katsuki’s fingers. He’d go permanently red if Katsuki didn’t stop soon, first the I love you and now this? “Kacchan…”

Katsuki chuckled to himself. “You could’ve been my entire project, nerd.”

Izuku laughed quietly, only becoming more bashful as Katsuki kept his hands on his cheeks. “You’re so soft now, Kacchan.” He teased, smirking up at him through his blush.

Katsuki shifted his eyes over Deku's face. “Only for you.” 

Izuku pressed his forehead into Katsuki’s collarbone. “You’re gonna kill me.”

Katsuki chuckled and set his arm down across Izuku’s shoulders. “And you don’t think you’re gonna kill me?” 

They both laughed, and couldn’t care less about the movie.

They were both fucked. But it wasn’t like they weren’t already.

Chapter Text

As it turned out, completing everything they needed to do so quickly left them with absolutely nothing to do. 

They watched more movies than they could count, going through the entire class’ selection almost twice. Not to mention the board games they brushed off, and the recipes they stole from Sato’s cookbooks…

They were left with absolutely nothing to do but fuck. 

And that’s exactly what they did.

In the common room, in bathrooms, in the shower, on the sofa. If there was a place, they fucked on it. Hell, they nearly broke one of the dining room tables after Katsuki bent Izuku over it. They were always careful, cautious not to make a mess and leaving the place exactly how they found it, if not better. If it wasn’t spotless before, it was after they were done with it. 

Being free and by themselves was amazing, but the looming fact that it was creeping to an end hung over them like a festering thunderstorm that only grew bigger as each moment passed. The storm warnings were sounding, but neither of them cared. 

They only had two more days left until everyone came back from the workshop, and neither of them wanted it to end. They didn’t want any of it to end. As far as they were concerned, everyone could stay at that workshop forever. 

Neither of them were sure how the fuck they were going to go back to what they were doing before, not after they had a taste of this. It’d still be good, sure, and the sneaking around would still be fun and give them the same adrenaline rush it always did, but it would never hold a candle to the unadulterated freedom they had when they were alone, truly alone. 

So they were going to do what they had the entire time thus far: they were going to fuck as much as possible. 

Izuku rolled over as Katsuki crashed down beside him, panting, breath as hot and sticky as his chest and between his legs. “Fuck,” he huffed between inhales, staring up at the ceiling as his body relaxed from the high. 

Katsuki nearly mirrored him. “Fuck is right.” He chuckled, turning his head to look at Izuku, flicking a piece of hair off of his forehead with a huff. “You’re fucking insane, you know that?”

They’d just come in from the common room after making eyes at each other for what felt like an eternity, the tension building as they jointly agreed to go to bed, standing in silence in the elevator and down the hall as they walked to Katsuki’s dorm. Izuku hadn’t even gotten the door halfway open before he was being shoved inside and pressed down onto the mattress, teasing giggles that quickly melted into moans following not long after. 

Izuku shrugged bashfully and tried to divert his gaze away from Katsuki so he wouldn’t get worked up again. “I suppose.” He spoke quietly, trying to stifle his growing smirk underneath his blush. 

Katsuki rolled to his side, leaning on his arm and licking his lips as he looked over Izuku’s face, reaching out and turning Izuku toward him with his finger. “Don’t get shy on me now.” He chuckled again, bending down closer to him. “You were just begging me to fuck you harder, and now you’re gonna play coy?”

Izuku pursed his lips and flickered his eyes over Katsuki’s face, sucking in a quiet breath as he spoke, the heat in his own spreading downwards rapidly. “Sorry,” he whispered, giggling as he squirmed, pressing his thighs together tight. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Don’t play that game with me, Deku.” He laughed, grinning as he spoke. “Makes me wanna fuck you again.”

Izuku swallowed thickly. He sat up from where he was, scooting closer to Katsuki and leaning into the hand that was grazing his cheek. “Yeah?” He asked, hovering above Katsuki and only getting closer. 

Katsuki skimmed over Izuku, watching his entire facial expression change, his body getting closer to him the more he looked. “Yeah.” he breathed, laying back on the pillows under him. “What’re you doing?”

Izuku shook his head, swinging one leg over Katsuki’s thighs and settling in his lap. “Nothing.”

He sounded so innocent, as if he didn’t know that Katsuki’s dick was pressed against the side of his inner thigh. Katsuki breathed in through his teeth and tried not to look as riled up as he actually was. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, “drivin’ me crazy, Izuku.”

The name only made Izuku grow hotter. “Yeah?” He asked, more like teased, slowly rocking his hips back and forth in Katsuki’s lap. “Tell me how you wanna fuck me again.” 

Katsuki looked up at him on his waist, his hands making their way to Izuku’s thighs as he exhaled, shakily. His gaze finally landed on Izuku’s face, and he shivered. “Wanna fuck you so fuckin’ bad.” He started, fingers squeezing his thighs and dragging down. “Wanna watch that face of yours as I make you fall apart on my cock again.”

Izuku lifted his hips, just a few inches, and moved his hand down between his legs to grip the base of Katsuki’s cock. He lined him up with his hole and slowly sunk down, only offering a shaky breath as he took all of him, stilling once Katsuki was all the way inside. “Keep going.”

Katsuki breathed out a quivering little groan, his hands tight on Izuku’s waist as he throbbed inside him. “Fuckin-” He cut himself off, tilting his head back and scrunching his face for a second. “Fuck, wanna feel you, wanna feel that tight ass grip me as I pound into you.” 

Izuku lifted his hips again, slowly, before he moved them back down, starting an agonizing pace as he rolled his hips back and forth. The corner of his lips curled into a little smirk, just barley. He was enjoying this too much. “Didn’t know you wanted me that bad.” He continued to tease, barely able to contain his cheeky little giggles as he spoke. 

Katsuki was nearly reaching his limit. “Always do,” he groaned, hands snaking up Izuku’s sides. “Always want you that bad—fuck, you look so fuckin’ pretty like this.” 

Katsuki watched Izuku slowly bounce on his hips, his body rocking as he moved, hands finding their way onto Katsuki’s chest as his own gripped his sides and anywhere else they managed to be on Izuku’s body.

Izuku looked beautiful.  

Katsuki thought he looked like a god damned dream, something straight out of one of his fantasies that he’d wake up from and have to deal with in the bathroom after he’d gotten up. 

Izuku’s body arched so perfectly, fingers roaming his chest and dragging down his pecs, hair curled along his face and haloing him in whatever small amount of light there was in Katsuki’s room. It was a vision he’d jerked off to many times, but his fantasy version was nothing in comparison to what Izuku actually looked like. 

Katsuki wished he could stare at him forever, get a fucking portrait done, so he wouldn’t ever forget what Izuku looked like at this moment. 

Not that he ever would, he was sure of that, but Izuku looked like a fucking work of art, and all Katsuki wanted was to frame him in gold.

Izuku trembled above him. “Katsuki,” he mumbled under his breath, head tilted back and lips parted open, letting out a small string of quiet whimpers as he started to speed up the rhythm of his hips. 

Katsuki tightened his grip on Izuku’s thighs, arching his own pelvis as Izuku’s shakily came back down. “Say it again.” His words were as firm as his hands on Izuku’s waist, eyes fixed on his face.

Izuku opened his eyes halfway, looking down at Katsuki and trying not to go hot again at his expression. His hips stuttered, lips pressing together tightly as he studied Katsuki’s face. 

There was a level of darkness to it that Izuku had never seen before. Not during training, not when he was angry, not when he was so determined that he saw nothing but tunnel-vision to his goal. 

His face wasn’t scrunched up in his bastard sort of way, it looked knowing, like he was saying you know what you just did, and you know exactly what it did to me. 

“K-Katsuki,” Izuku repeated, tripping over the first syllable as he regained his balance in Katsuki’s lap. 

Katsuki’s smirk only grew. “Say it again.” He planted his hands on Izuku’s waist, not moving them, feeling Izuku writhe and bounce under his fingers. “Louder.”

Izuku whimpered, staring down at Katsuki’s face and shivering. His eyes were sharp pools of bloody carmine, suffocating Izuku in the best way the longer he looked at them. “Katsuki.” He said, louder this time, raising his voice above it’s shy cadence. 

Katsuki chuckled under his breath and his eyes followed Izuku as he bounced. “Again.”

Izuku choked on a moan and his hips shuddered, clenching down around Katsuki and grabbing at his chest. “Katsuki,” He whimpered it again, the name getting louder and louder as he sloppily bounced. “Katsuki, Katsuki please.”

Katsuki had to bite his lip to keep from cumming right there and then. He didn’t think Izuku could look any more perfect, but he was continuously proven wrong with every passing second. “Fuck,” he seethed, holding off as long as he possibly could. “Please what, Izuku?”

Izuku’s bottom lip trembled in desperation. “Please, I want it, Katsuki.” He begged, nails sinking into Katsuki’s chest, scratching down the more he moved. “I want to cum, please.”

Katsuki snapped his hips up into him, just once, watching his body jerk and listening to a moan rip through his chest. He couldn’t even get out half of “then cum, Izuku” before Izuku was shooting hot ropes onto his chest, trembling on his thighs and whimpering profusely. 

Izuku’s vision went white for a little bit less than a minute. He tightened, not just his ass but his entire body, orgasm ripping through him like lightning and making him so dizzy it was hard to keep himself upright. 

Katsuki followed just a few seconds behind him, muttering a “shit” before he spilled inside of him, arching his back off of the mattress and groaning as he came back down. 

Every breath Izuku took, every miniscule little movement he twitched made Katsuki throb inside of him, body aching. “Fuck,” He breathed, exhausted, watching Izuku lift himself off of his hips and crash back down beside him. He turned his head to look at him. 

“Gonna have me fucking shootin’ blanks here.” He chuckled, reaching over and grabbing a tissue from his bedside table, wiping off his chest.

Izuku blushed and giggled quietly from behind him. “Sorry.” He laughed, trying to hide his face. “Couldn’t help it.”

Katsuki shook his head and settled back into his place, rolling over onto his side so he could look at Izuku. “Don’t be, it was hot.” He smirked, watching Izuku peek out from between his fingers. “I liked it.” 

Izuku offered a little half smile, a little cheekier than he meant it, but bashful all the same. He let his hands drop back down to the sheets. “I’m gonna miss this.” 

Katsuki cocked an eyebrow. “Hah? The fuck are you gonna miss?”

Izuku shrugged. “This. Being alone. By ourselves.” 

Izuku had to resist the urge to reach out and run his fingers over Katsuki’s face, just to touch him, like this was going to be the last time they’d ever see each other again.

It sure felt like that.

Katsuki shifted uncomfortably in place. “Yeah.” He answered him. “Me too.”

Katsuki honestly didn’t want to think about it. He’d been avoiding the thought the entire time, ignoring the fact that it eventually had to come to an end, that everyone would come back and the fear of wandering eyes and dangerous rumors and having to sneak around would become the norm again. 

He didn’t want that, he just wanted Izuku and this and right now. 

Izuku smiled back at Katsuki, but he had to hold back the actual ecstatic excitement he felt at Katsuki’s me too. 

Everyone would come back in two days, but they could still have this, just for a little while longer.

Chapter Text

The two days went by way too quickly. 

The entire class trip went by entirely too quickly, as a matter of fact, passing as a whirlwind that only left both of them dizzy and out of breath. It was the best daze they’d ever been in, and neither of them were ready for the bus to roll back into the UA parking lot. 

“You two better have behaved while we were gone.” Aizawa eyed Katsuki first before turning his head to Izuku, the rest of their classmates following his chilly presence and greeting them both with wide smiles and stories of the exploits they’d gotten up to at the workshop without them. 

Kaminari and Kirishima started first with Katsuki, both of them speaking quickly and annoying Katsuki nearly to a violent outburst. “Holy fuck, one at a time, shit!” He shouted above their incessant quips, Katsuki unable to focus on either one of them. They’d been home for less than five minutes and Katsuki already missed the serene quiet of the dorms when he was alone.

Alone with Deku. 

Katsuki peered from across the common room at him and his own nerdy friends, and momentarily fantasized about that quiet again. 

Iida was in the middle of relaying one of the many bits of information he’d jotted down for Izuku. 

“I tried to get as much as possible for you, I knew how disappointed you were that you couldn’t go.” He handed Izuku a spiral notebook filled with neat, bullet-pointed notes that listed everything from the welcome introductions to the tips Iida had received from the pros attending the workshop. Izuku skimmed over them only for a second. 

“Thank you, Iida,” He closed the notebook, tucking it under his arm and offering him a grateful smile. He wasn’t expecting much of anything, let alone a souvenir like that. 

“Thank Todoroki as well, he contributed to a lot of it.” Iida smiled back in reply, setting his hand on Izuku’s shoulder and squeezing gently.

Izuku’s chest grew heavy at the mention of his name, like the breath was knocked out of him during training and his lungs couldn’t replace it. He and Todoroki had been slowly growing closer again, just to the point of being friends again, or being comfortable enough to call each other friends again. 

Izuku had to admit, he missed it. He missed Todoroki, not the romantic parts of him, but the friendship they had, the way Todoroki would confide in him and how Izuku would listen. He missed the stupid conversations he’d have with him and Iida in the locker room, missed the soft laughter at lunch. 

He was past mourning their romantic relationship, but he was still mourning their friendship and what it was before everything got complicated and went to shit. They’d been casually talking again, texting on occasion, building back up to where they were. And Izuku liked that. 

He wanted his friend back. 

“I’ll make sure to thank him when I get a chance.” Izuku watched Iida nod and smile at him, knowingly. 

Izuku wasn’t the only one who missed him and Todoroki’s friendship. 

“Rest up tonight, everyone. It’s back to business as usual tomorrow, be ready for 8am training in the morning.” 

The entire class collectively groaned, enough to drown out the last few words of Aizawa’s announcement. 

If they both weren’t ready for the class to return, they really weren’t ready for classes to resume. 

They’d grown used to waking up whenever they wanted, leisurely rolling out of bed only when they felt like it and then proceeding to do whatever they wanted. Usually fucking, but still, whatever they wanted. 

Izuku wasn’t used to sleeping in his own bed. 

His mattress didn’t feel right, it was cold and stiff and just felt wrong . He’d gotten so used to sleeping in Katsuki’s bed that his own room felt off. It was like he physically needed Katsuki there for him to sleep, like he was a little kid and Katsuki was his security blanket.

The problem was that Izuku’s bed didn’t have a them-sized imprint in its sheets. 

Katsuki didn’t fare much better. He rolled around trying to get comfortable, trying to find the equilibrium he had when Izuku was sleeping with him. His mattress felt too light, like it was missing something, because it was. 

Suffice to say, neither of them slept very well before the morning training session.

They were slow and sluggish to get started, much like their classmates who were exhausted from their previous long weekend, but they continued to lag behind. 

Katsuki had missed a few villain attacks point-blank, Izuku kept tripping over his own feet. Aizawa scolded them both briefly, but accepted their excuse of lack of sleep, albeit begrudgingly. 

The hot showers in the locker room were a welcomed reward after the shitty morning. It was as if everyone collectively breathed out the same sigh of warm relief once the water hit them. 

“Fuck, why’d Aizawa make us do such an early training right after our trip?” Kaminari complained, standing under the shower stream and letting the hot water drip down his back.

“Yeah, what the hell gives, man? He couldn’t have just given us a day off to recoup?” Kirishima chimed in right after. 

Sero quickly followed. “Freakin’ right? Thought I was gonna pass out the entire time.”

Katsuki groaned from his place under his own stream, trying to ignore everyone and zone out to no avail. “Holy shit, will you all shut the fuck up for ten seconds?” He grumbled, tilting his head back into the water, getting as much of it as possible onto him. 

The three of them snickered in near unison. “Damn Bakugou, what’s got you in such a shit mood?” 

Katsuki groaned. “Shut up.” 

They all snickered again, turning their attention back to each other before Sero shifted to Katsuki again. “The hell got you all scratched up, Bakugou? That from training?”

Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows in frustration and was about to tell Sero to fuck off before he realized what he was talking about. 

The scratches. The scratches, the scratches on his chest, the scratches on his chest from Izuku. 

Shit. Fuck, shit. Fuck!

Sero’s comment had garnered the attention of both Kirishima and Kaminari, who were now looking back in Katsuki’s direction. “Fuck, where the hell they’d come from?” 

Katsuki could feel the eyes on him, closing him in and making it too tight to move.

Kaminari grew a wide grin. “Shit, you have someone over while we were gone?”

A few showerheads down, Izuku was eavesdropping on the conversation and trying desperately not to have an anxiety attack as he stood under the shower stream. 

“Ooh, looks rough, you must’ve gotten wild, huh? Who was it?” Kirishima egged, pushing it further.

Katsuki could feel his face getting redder, the water seeming cold in comparison to the heat his cheeks were producing. He kept his mouth shut, as to not incriminate himself if he dropped any hints. He just wanted it to end, he wanted the topic to be ignored and never be brought up again.  

Katsuki picked his gaze up and watched, in what felt like slow motion, as Kaminari put the pieces together in his head. 

It was like a switch was flipped, his face lighting up in pure delight, a sheer dichotomy to the complete horror that Katsuki was trying so hard to suppress. 

“Holy fuck. It was Midoriya. Bakugou fucked Midoriya.” Kaminari said it with such ease, his mouth twisting up into a wide grin as he laughed. Katsuki watched the rest of them fall into the same expression. 

“No way, it couldn’t have been-”

“Who else could it be?!” Sero cut Kirishima off with a roaring laugh, their voices growing louder and louder and only attracting more attention. 

Izuku heard it all. 

Kirishima spun around to Izuku’s direction, Katsuki drifting on him only for a few seconds before looking away, not wanting to look at Izuku before Kirishima spoke again. Kirishima only laughed harder as his eyes adjusted on him. “Holy shit, you’re right! There’s a fucking hickey on Midoriya’s neck!” 

Izuku slapped a hand onto his neck, staring at the wall in front of him. 

It felt like the world was caving in on Izuku. 

He felt like he was being suffocated, like he couldn’t breathe, like if he reached out and tried to lean on the wall, the tile would disappear under his fingers and he’d fall, endlessly. 

Izuku’s entire body trembled. All he could feel were eyes on him, every part of him. Picking him apart, stripping him bare and not letting him escape.

He was already naked, but somehow he felt even more vulnerable.

“Bakugou’s fucking Midoriya!” The three screeched through their laughter, their voices joining at the same time, announcing the whole thing to the entire locker room. If everyone didn’t know about it from their previous shrieks, they certainly did now.

Months of sneaking and secrets and trying to keep it as quiet as possible, gone in two minutes by roaring laughter. 

Katsuki exhaled, slowly. “Shut up.” 

It was under his breath, a low rumble from his chest that none of them heard over the sound of their droning laughter.

“So all those times he said he hated Midoriya, he was actually fucking him!  He liked him the whole time!”  Kaminari bellowed, doubling over and holding his middle as he wheezed.

In an instant, Katsuki had him pressed against the tile. “I told you to shut the fuck up!” His face was inches from Kaminari’s, red hot rage throbbing in his fists as he held him up against the wall.

It was either this or beating the shit out of him until Katsuki’s knuckles bled.

“Whoa, hey, calm down Bakugou, we weren’t-”

Kaminari scrambled, squirming under Katsuki’s grip as he only grew angrier. 

“Fucking drop it. Understand?” Katsuki spoke through clenched teeth, keeping his face near Kaminari’s for now, because he was certain that if he caught a glimpse of Sero or Kirishima the wall in front of him was going to be blown into concrete pieces. 

He let Kaminari go, the locker room falling into a dead silence as he turned his shower off, turning from everyone and starting toward his locker to get redressed. 

Izuku watched him, intently, before he turned back around and remembered he had to breathe. 

Chapter Text

Izuku had never changed into his clothes so fast in his entire life. 

Normally he’d take his time, chatting with Iida or Kaminari or whoever the fuck was next to him as he changed. He’d take a few minutes to let his body fully dry from the showers before he even stepped into his trousers. He’d buckle his belt over laughter and then take an additional five minutes before he moved onto his button-down and blazer. 

It didn’t even take him thirty seconds to get changed after he left the showers. It was like his vision blurred everything but him getting dressed, he was so hyper-focused on it and getting out of the locker room that his mind didn’t give him room to dwell on anything but pants-shirt-blazer-leave. He could feel the excess water that didn’t have time to be wicked off of him absorbing into his shirt. 

Izuku couldn’t breathe. 

He made it out of the locker room just fine, looking ahead of him and not turning to look back, ignoring the burning urge to do so and instead listening to the don’t do it, don’t you dare do it voice in his head. He gripped the straps of his backpack and barreled ahead toward 1A’s dorm building, footsteps heavy on the concrete.

But once he got to the dorms, it was like he was suffocating. 

Like there were hands around his neck, squeezing, and not in a pleasant way. Not in a pleasant way, like Katsuki had done a few times, while they were— 

Fuck. Everyone knew now, everyone knew about them, knew about what they did, about what they do. 

How the hell was he supposed to be around everyone now? It wasn’t like he could stay cooped up in his bedroom forever, he had to come out to eat and go to class and do his laundry. He couldn’t hide forever, no matter how much he wanted to. 

He opened the door to the dorms, still not looking back as he stepped inside, walking forward and punching the button of the elevator once he got that far. He was certain no one had followed him from the locker room, but the feeling of a thousand eyes on him, stripping him down and silently judging him, persisted nonetheless. It felt like an eternity for the elevator doors to close behind him. 

He really wasn’t looking forward to the inevitable onslaught of knocks at his door and text messages that people were going to send. He knew if it would happen it’d probably be from one of his friends, more likely than not Iida, and he knew it would be to show support and to offer a shoulder of comfort, but he wished Iida would just leave him alone. He wished everyone would just pretend he didn’t exist for a little while. 

Everyone. Shit, had the girls found out yet? It was only a matter of time, and an event like that was surely spreading faster than wildfire amongst his classmates, if not spreading even further into other classes. If the girls didn’t know by now, they surely would soon.

Izuku fell face-down onto his bed once he closed his door behind him, and screamed. 

It was muffled by his pillow and the duvet, tapering off with a few hiccupped sobs as he rolled over so he wouldn’t actually suffocate himself. He grabbed at his chest, pulling on his shirt so hard that the fabric began to tear under his fingers. 

He and Katsuki were over. 

This was it, they couldn’t ever go back to what they had, no more late night shenanigans and sneaking out of his dorm. They went from a long weekend of pure bliss to a complete and utter hell in less than a day. All of the progress, the kisses, the I love you, all gone, poof, in a single routine locker room shower session. 

Izuku’s phone buzzed, and his heart sank so far into his body that he was certain it had disappeared altogether. 

He reluctantly flipped it over, just to see who the hell had sent the message, and felt his heart sink even farther, if that was even possible. 

Todoroki: Hey

Fuck. Shit . 

Todoroki. 

Oh god, not him, not Todoroki. Had he heard? Well, of course he heard, he was there as it all went down, which meant that he heard everything, it was hard not to. 

Izuku stared at the message for a while, deliberating in his head as to what he should do next. He wanted to ignore the message, to turn his phone back off and set it face-down on his bed again and pretend that it never even happened. Message from Todoroki, what message from Todoroki?

But he knew that would only make it worse. Todoroki texting him was anxiety-inducing, sure, but his absence of a reply would surely cause more problems in the long-run, and would only make him look worse, if only to Todoroki. 

Izuku typed a reply and hoped that Todoroki wouldn’t answer. 

Izuku: Hey

The three dots appeared, and Izuku stuffed his face back into his pillow. 

Todoroki: Can we talk?

Izuku almost started crying again. Fucking now? Did he mean in person or through text? Izuku didn’t want to do either, but texting was a much better option than having to host Todoroki in his dorm right now. 

Izuku: Sure

There was no reply. Even after five minutes, and then ten, and then fifteen. Izuku sincerely hoped that maybe he just forgot about it, that Todoroki had changed his mind and just decided to ignore it for now. 

Even as everyone trickled into the dorms, there was still no answer.

Izuku could hear people shuffling past his door, hushedly whispering things he couldn’t make out, proceeding to their own dorms practically in silence, but much to his relief, they all left him alone. There wasn’t even so much as a pity knock. 

Maybe Todoroki had ignored it after all. Almost a half an hour had passed since he’d sent the text, with mostly everyone settling into their dorms without a peep. 

Izuku had just started to get himself to relax when that knock came, and his body sprang back with anxiety. Fuck. 

“Come in,” He managed through his constricting throat, trying to swallow down the nerves as best as he could as the doorknob turned. 

“Hey.” Todoroki greeted him as he opened the door, closing it behind him quietly and standing just a few steps in front of the doorframe, hands in his pockets. 

Izuku sat up from his bed, keeping his head down, both from anxiety and from shame. “Hey.” He croaked pitifully, shifting his gaze up at Todoroki for a half a second before he darted back down to the little patch of his floor that he was staring at. 

Todoroki let a beat of silence fall between them before he spoke again. “So,” he started. “Bakugou, huh?”

The words stung Izuku harshly, making him squeeze his eyes shut to keep from letting out a sob. He didn’t want to have this conversation, he didn’t, but it was inescapable now. 

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Todoroki pursed his lips and took his hands out of his pockets, folding them across his chest. “Was he a rebound?”

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the hardwood floor. He blinked a few times, picking up his head and looking right at Todoroki, finally, pushing past his nerves. His heart was in his throat. 

He was interrogating him about he and Katsuki’s relationship? Now?

“No.” Izuku said. “No, he wasn’t. Isn’t.” 

He could see something in Todoroki’s face shift, anger maybe? Slight disappointment?

“Were you fucking him while we were together?”

There was a certain tone to Todoroki’s voice, a trace amount of venom in it that pierced right through Izuku and hit him where it hurt. Izuku set his jaw. 

“No. I wasn’t.” But god, did Izuku wish he had. 

Todoroki nodded, seemingly satisfied with Izuku’s answers. He didn’t press further. 

“You okay?” His tone of voice had softened back to its normal cadence. Like if Izuku hadn’t answered the way he wanted him to, that venom would’ve stayed.

Izuku exhaled quietly. He almost chuckled. Now he was going to ask. “Not really.” He answered truthfully. “But I’ll be alright.”

Todoroki relaxed. “Iida was worried about you. After you left he got pretty pissed at everyone, he got everyone to stop talking about it.”

Izuku cracked a partial smile, nodding as Todoroki spoke. It was nice knowing that someone cared enough to worry about him, and it wasn’t unlike Iida to do something like that. Not like it mattered though, it was after the fact and way, way too late anyway. 

“Told everyone to give you space.”

At that, Izuku really almost burst out laughing. Todoroki didn’t get the memo about that, huh? 

“Tell him I said thank you.”

Izuku made a mental note to thank Iida in person later. 

Todoroki nodded, turning back around to face the door. “Will do,” he extended his arm out to grab the knob, “let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Izuku laid back down again, rolling onto his back this time instead of his front. “Okay.” He stared up at the ceiling. “Thanks.”

Todoroki left without saying another word, and though Izuku was upset at the previous malice in his tone, he was relieved that he was left alone again, finally. 

It was quiet in the hallway, almost eerily so. Like everyone was afraid of even shuffling their feet on the floor. The tension was so thick someone could fucking choke on it. 

Izuku didn’t want to think about what Katsuki was thinking right now.

He hadn’t seen a glimpse of him since the locker room, he sped by so fast all he saw was a tall blonde smudge from the corner of his vision, his mind able to vaguely know that it was Katsuki just by sheer familiarity, but he never got a look at his face. Izuku never saw what his expression was like. He had no idea if it was panicked like his own or blood curdling-ly angry. 

He had no idea if Katsuki was angry at their classmates or, or at him. 

Izuku shifted uncomfortably on his sheets, a tight bubble of anxiety rising in his chest and making his throat close.

Izuku was the one who scratched too hard and left all those marks, Izuku was the one who was too careless to cover up the hickeys on his neck, Izuku was the one who got carried away. Katsuki said that he loved him and Izuku became reckless, not caring about anything, not the marks or the bruises or the other damning evidence of what they’d done together.

He didn’t know the hubris of not caring how hard he scratched on Katsuki’s back while they fucked would lead to this. 

Izuku wished he and Katsuki had never gotten tangled up in this mess together. If they’d never started fucking, if they’d never given each other room to develop feelings and fall in love, none of this would’ve ever happened. They could’ve just been neutral toward each other, friendly when they had to be, no complicated pining and unresolved want.

Izuku could’ve dealt with the one-sided crush he harbored. How hard could it have been?

The tears pricking at the corners of his eyes were starting to sting. He sniffled, trying to get his throat to relax as the tears began to fall. 

Izuku hated how much he wanted Katsuki right now.

Not even his touch, or his comfort, just his presence. Even if he was going to yell at him, Izuku just wanted him there, wanted to know that he at least had some care left for him, even if it was just to scold his stupidity. 

God. They could’ve never just stayed friends. Izuku would’ve slipped up sooner or later. If what they had didn’t happen at the time it did, it would’ve happened at some point. 

Izuku loving him was as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning. 

Izuku draped his arm over his face, the tears trickling down his cheeks and landing on the duvet under him.

Chapter Text

In all his years, Katsuki Bakugou had never actually wanted to kill anyone.

Sure, he said it a lot, threatened probably everyone around him at least once, but never meant it. It was more something he just said, something he’d throw out when he was frustrated or when he wanted someone to back off. After a while it became more of a joke than anything else. 

Until now. 

Katsuki was so certain that he could kill Kaminari in the showers right after Izuku had left. He truly considered it, but only for a second, before his brain rationalized him and brought him back to reality, where he knew that even after the shit show his stupid ass created, Katsuki knew he couldn’t kill him. But in the second before the rationalization, all Katsuki wanted to do was punch him in the face, hard, at the very least. 

The showers were quiet after Izuku had left. It was nothing but running water and stunned silence, everyone processing what had just happened, between Kaminari running his mouth and Katsuki pinning him against the tile and the fact that Katsuki and Izuku had been fucking this whole time—

The door to the locker room opened and closed, and Katsuki shut his shower off. 

“Shit, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-”

“Fuckin’ save it.” Katsuki snapped, grabbing his towel and turning his back on everyone in the showers, trying to remove himself from the showers and the locker room and everyone before he went absolutely ballistic. 

Everything was fine until someone had to open their fucking mouth. It was nice, borderline perfect even. He and Izuku had their little thing, had their time when no one was looking and when no one could comment on them. It was good, it was them. Katsuki would’ve continued with that forever, just him and Izuku and no one being able to interfere or interject or ruin everything. 

Katsuki wanted to drive his fist into the locker next to him. 

“Listen, everyone! Drop the subject at once, it is inappropriate to keep talking about it! What our classmates do in private is none of our business or concern!”

Katsuki initially rolled his eyes at Iida’s announcement. He could picture his stern face, his arms flailing robotically as he scolded everyone for muttering about it under their breaths, as if they couldn’t help themselves. He rolled his eyes at it at first, but he quietly appreciated the effort. It was bad enough that this whole mess had started, but at least somebody had the balls to fucking say something. Katsuki knew he couldn’t have been the one, he would’ve screamed at every single one of those assholes until his voice went hoarse. 

Katsuki set a reminder for himself to thank Iida later. For him and Izuku’s sake, he knew Izuku probably would appreciate it more than he did. Iida was his friend, after all. 

There was just dispersed chatter after Iida’s announcement, incoherent mumbling that Katsuki couldn’t make out, probably for the better. He didn’t want to hear it anyway. He opened up his locker, snatching his clothes out of it and throwing them down to the bench so he could change into them.

“Hey.” 

The voice made Katsuki jump, and only agitated him further. He really didn’t want to talk, to anyone really, and it pissed him off that someone had followed him out of the showers.

Once he spun on his heel and saw Todoroki, he nearly blew up the entire block. 

“What the hell do you want?” Katsuki groaned, stepping into his pants and zipping the fly up, almost breaking the zipper with how violently he pulled it up. 

Todoroki exhaled and folded his arms across his chest. “Wanted to make sure you were alright. After all that.”

Half and Half cared about him now? Katsuki almost had to laugh. 

“I’m just fuckin’ peachy.” He replied, shoving his arms through the holes of his button down, fingers fumbling with the bottom button, much to his annoyance. 

They both had a history with Izuku. Katsuki’s history might have been less straightforward, more complicated and less lovey-dovey and obvious than Todoroki’s history, but despite their differences, they still had a history nonetheless. 

Todoroki took a step toward him. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but this isn’t as bad as you think it is.” 

Katsuki turned his head toward him, eyebrows furrowed and face scrunched into the most dumbfounded, annoyed expression he could conjure. 

“What the hell do you know?!” Katsuki spat back at him, turning around to fully face him now, finally getting the bottom button of his shirt through the god damn hole. 

Katsuki’s entire life was falling in shambles, and Icy Hot had the audacity to tell him it wasn’t that bad? He wasn’t the one having to go through it, he wasn’t the one who had to deal with everyone wanting to pry into his sex life, he wasn’t the one who now had to worry about anyone and everyone in this entire fucking school knowing about him and Izuku and how they’d had sex over the long weekend. 

Todoroki stayed just as calm as he always was, and though Katsuki was still pissed off at him, he had to give him credit for that, at least. 

“It’s shitty, I’m not going to tell you that it’s not. But is everyone knowing about you and Midoriya and whatever you do together really that bad?”

Katsuki opened his mouth to protest, and he had every intention to, but nothing came out. He wanted to yell and berate the fuck out of Todoroki but he couldn’t.

Because despite not wanting to admit it, Todoroki was right. 

Katsuki let out a low, annoyed breath, turning to close his locker and slinging his blazer onto his shoulders. “You tryin’ to tell me something, Icy Hot?”

Katsuki hoped he would catch on to what he was saying, because he didn’t have the mental capacity to continue to be subtle.

Todoroki chuckled. “No, don’t worry about that.” He laughed under his breath, though slightly awkwardly. Katsuki hated that he enjoyed watching someone feel embarrassed; it made him feel better about himself and his current situation. 

Todoroki cleared his throat. “He wanted something that I couldn’t give him, and I’ve moved on from him and what we had, we’re better as friends.” Todoroki pressed his lips together. 

“And I saw the way he looked at you, anyway.”

Katsuki could hear the hesitation in his voice before he spoke, the sentence sucking the breath out of both of them. He was over Deku, but Katsuki couldn’t help but sense a hint of past jealousy in his tone. 

A beat of silence fell between them. 

He sighed. “It’ll all be alright, Bakugou.” Todoroki picked up his bag, slinging it over his arm and patting Katsuki on the shoulder, hesitantly, before he walked off. He didn’t give Katsuki time to shrug off his hand, the bastard.

Katsuki huffed once he was far enough away, bending down to tie his shoes and grumbling under his breath.

Fucking Icy Hot and his stupid fucking kindness, where the hell did that come from, anyway?! Katsuki was, and had been, fucking his ex-boyfriend, shouldn’t he be at least a little bit irritated by that?!

Katsuki tied his shoelaces a little too tight, but he didn’t fucking care. He just wanted to get the hell out of the locker room at this point, he could leave without his pants for all he cared.

“Bakugou.”

Katsuki tilted his head back and had to use every ounce of the very little bit of patience he had left not to scream. He spun back around, his backpack swinging and hitting his back from the force of his movement. “What?!”

It was the bird. 

Tokoyami stepped back at Katsuki’s brief outburst, eyes widening for a moment before he softly chuckled and shook his head in reply. “I apologize that you had to go through that display in the showers. Kaminari seems remorseful, but still, it shouldn’t have happened.”

Katsuki tried his best to be polite and not roll his eyes. He didn’t need Tokoyami to relay that back to him. “Yeah,” He started, eyes on the ground, his feet shuffling in place. “Thanks.”

“I don’t know what you and Midoriya are, and frankly I don’t really care, but it’s not worth losing it over what other people have to say.” 

Katsuki stared down at his shoes, at his too-tight laces, and slowly picked his head back up to look at Tokoyami. 

Tokoyami just continued to stand and stare. “And besides,” The bird cracked a smirk, starting to walk past him now, “since when have you cared about what anyone thought?”

Twice, twice in ten minutes someone had left Katsuki speechless. Did Icy Hot and Nevermore have a fucking pact or something?! 

Was he always this easy to read?! Fucking god…

Katsuki gathered his things and quickly hightailed out of the locker room as quickly as he possibly could, bypassing anyone else who wanted to give him any more unwanted comments. 

The walk back to the dorms was quiet, by a shred of luck that Katsuki somehow had. No one chased him down to talk, no one caught up to him, he was left alone, just him and the cicadas. 

The dorms themselves were quiet, too. There were a few people in the common area, Todoroki and Tokoyami and a few others, a couple of the girls maybe. 

By default, Katsuki figured they knew, too. Nothing ever stayed a secret for long, especially with 1A. A text had been sent around, surely. Someone must’ve sent something. 

He could see Kirishima’s red hair out of the corner of his vision, watching as someone else he couldn’t quite make out set their hand on his shoulder to keep him from going up to Katsuki. 

Good thing, because the last thing Katsuki wanted right now was to talk to anyone else. 

He pressed the button on the elevator and stood there for what felt like a week before the doors finally parted. 

He didn’t see Deku anywhere. Which was to be expected, but it still made his chest squeeze knowing that the nerd was cooped up in his fucking room, probably panicking out of his mind. 

Katsuki sighed, and the elevator opened again. 

Todoroki and Tokoyami were right. He didn’t know if they had a joint agreement to say what they did to him, but they were both right, and it really pissed Katsuki the fuck off. 

Everyone finding out was inevitable. It was either that or he and Izuku go separate ways, never talk to each other, never have any sort of semblance of a relationship with each other. Which, Katsuki knew, was impossible, no matter how hard they’d try they’d always come crawling back to one another. And people were bound to find out, sooner or later. 

Katsuki let himself fall back onto his bed, and stared up at his dorm room ceiling.

Fuck. Tokoyami and Todoroki were right. They were right.

Damn it.

Fucking Todoroki and his “this isn’t as bad as you think it is,” fucking Tokoyami and his stupid fucking wisdom, fucking Kaminari with how much he just fucked everything up. Everything was going so smoothly before he decided to open his god damned mouth, and now Katsuki had to pick up the pieces and figure out how to live with that part of him now out in the open, like an unclothed wound. 

Fuck. He hadn’t checked on Izuku yet.

Katsuki reached for his phone, swiping it open and getting to his messages before he hesitated. 

He didn’t want to text him and make it worse. Katsuki didn’t want Izuku to panic even more than he already knew he was because he was texting him, but then again, would not texting him also make him panic?

Fuck it, he had to text the nerd. 

Kacchan: Hey

The noise made Izuku’s heart stop for a second. God, who the hell was texting him? Was it Todoroki again or Iida or Kirishima or-

Kacchan. It was Kacchan. 

He swallowed thickly before he answered.

Deku: Hi

Katsuki hated how long it took for him to reply. Usually the fucker would answer all too quickly, Katsuki would’ve just sent the message and the nerd would already have answered. Now, he took a few minutes, like he had hesitated.  

Kacchan: How’re you doing?

Izuku almost laughed at the question. He knew Katsuki was just checking on him, but he already knew the answer. It was like he didn’t even need to answer him. 

Deku: Shit. Earlier sucked

Katsuki chuckled under his breath. He figured as much. 

Katsuki: Yeah it fucking did

Deku: I’m sorry it went like that

Katsuki set his jaw. 

Katsuki: I’M sorry

Deku: You don’t have to be sorry 

Katsuki felt like he did. If he was just less rigid, or told his friends to fuck off sooner, none of this would’ve happened.

None of this would’ve happened. But it did. 

Izuku wasn’t the one who had to feel bad or had to apologize to anyone, granted neither did Katsuki, really, but if there was anyone who wasn’t at fault, it was Izuku. 

Katsuki turned his phone off and set it beside him, groaning and closing his eyes tightly. 

Katsuki didn’t realize how long he’d been laying in bed until he opened his eyes and it was dark.

It wasn’t like he even fell asleep, he just laid there with his eyes closed, thinking. About Todoroki and Tokoyami and Kaminari and Deku, about everything that had happened and everything that would happen now. 

He sat up, grabbing his phone from the place where it had landed on his duvet, 8:32 beaming back up at him. 

Katsuki’s first instinct was to text Izuku to tell him to come to his dorm in an hour. 

He bit his lip at the thought. Guess they didn’t really have a reason to sneak around now. 

Katsuki sat up, standing and shoving his hands into his uniform pockets, which he was still yet to change out of.

Fuck it. 

He opened his door, making his way into the hallway, walking past people’s open dorms where he could faintly see some of them hanging around; Sero and Kirishima sharing a snack, Iida tutoring Kaminari in math. 

Katsuki kept his gaze forward, and ignored the feeling of their eyes on him. He knew their stares were following him to Deku’s dorm, but he didn’t care. 

He didn’t even stop at Deku’s door to knock, he just turned the knob and walked in, closing it behind him, shutting out everyone and their prying eyes. 

Izuku shuffled in his bed, rolling over, sitting up halfway and blinking. “Kacchan-”

“It’s okay.” He lowered his voice, crawling onto the bed and setting himself next to Izuku. “I wanted to come.”

Izuku relaxed, just slightly, nodding and lowering his eyes to his hands, which were nervously picking at the edge of his duvet. “So, are we…”

Katsuki blinked, cocking an eyebrow up. “I’m not really in the mood to fuck, Deku.”

Izuku blushed and almost choked on his spit. “No, no! That’s not, that’s not what I meant,” He chuckled to keep his blush at bay, trying not to focus on the awkwardness. “Just, I… are we, you know, are we done?”

Izuku didn’t really know what to think when he saw that Katsuki was the one who opened his door. It’d been a few hours since their last text, and given the circumstances of the day, he immediately jumped to the worst case scenario. 

Katsuki despised that Izuku even thought that. “No, we… we’re not over, no.” 

Relief splayed all over Izuku’s face, like he was exhaling out a breath he’d been holding since the after-training showers. Izuku tried not to let his smile take over his whole face, but it was hard not to. “Thank goodness.” 

Katsuki flickered his eyes over Izuku’s face, leaning in and capturing his lips, just for a moment, just to ease any other nerves he knew Izuku had. 

“Stop overthinking, nerd.” Katsuki whispered, breathing between kisses, his forehead pressed to Izuku’s. 

Izuku giggled and pursed his lips together. “It’s late,” he started, “you’ll be cranky tomorrow if you don’t go to bed soon.”

Katsuki pushed him away playfully, elbowing him in the arm. “Fuck off!” He laughed, falling down onto the bed at the same time Izuku did. As if he could be any more cranky than he was today.

They both crashed down in a fit of giggles, fixed into their usual positions on the mattress.

It was like they were in Katsuki’s dorm, like they always were, after fucking, when Izuku didn’t want to go back to his own room, when Katsuki didn’t want him to leave.

Their backs faced each other, bodies not touching. It was all the same, minus a few circumstances.

Katsuki stared at the wall in front of him, catching the edge of one of the seemingly dozens of All Might posters Izuku had hung up. 

Izuku was doing the same, except he was thinking about letting his leg creep toward Katsuki, just to be bold, just to let a part of them touch.

Katsuki rolled over, slinging his arm over Izuku’s middle and pulling him toward his chest. Izuku melted into his touch immediately, shifting himself so Katsuki could move his face into his shoulder.

Izuku had never felt so warm.