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So, admittedly, Dick probably should have gone to drug abuse counseling at some point, and he was self-aware enough now to know that.
But the thing was, he hadn't really had any addiction problems in several years, not since Tim showed up and he'd realized he couldn't keep drowning out all his problems with drugs, and going would have been... Not a failure, exactly, but if Bruce found out he didn't think he would have been able to handle the disappointment. He wouldn't have kicked him out like Oliver had done to Roy, of course ― but given that was primarily because by that point he couldn't kick him out, it wasn't exactly a comfort. And the disappointment from Tim, too, and from Kori and Cy and BB and Rae... He wouldn't have been able to take it. So he hadn't ever been able to talk himself into going, and after a while with decreased access to drugs anyway and less time to even consider doing them, he hadn't had much issue.
He still wasn't really having an issue right now, he didn't think. Not really a relapse, he wouldn't say, because he hadn't actually done anything.
He just wanted to. Worse than he had since he was seventeen.
It was a very minor comfort to him that he didn't want to do any of the heavier shit he'd done back then ― he kind of just wanted to get a dime bag, roll up, and get stoned in his bedroom.
... More specifically, he wanted to do that and then get fucked boneless before he sobered up.
He just wasn't sure what his boyfriend was going to think about it.
If he said no, it was hardly the end of the world, and Dick was a master of ignoring his own urges so it wouldn't end up being a problem except for X potentially walking in on him stoned out of his brain and jerking it cuz he was just so goddamn horny.
Ugh, and the worst part was that he was genuinely considering it.
Clean for seven years and now he wanted to toss it out? Was genuinely thinking about tossing all that progress out the window?
It was frustrating, but he just needed to use a little of his self-control, either to convince himself not to do it, or to convince himself to only touch weed and only here and there. It was by far the least dangerous substance he could be doing, after all. Especially in comparison to memories of long nights getting absolutely smashed on anything he could get his hands on when he wasn't patrolling. Nights when it was weed were... Better than others.
Still. Ugh.
But he'd do the idea at least enough justice to think about it.
Figure out if it was just a craving, since he definitely had enough time to have cravings nowadays, what with Tim more or less managing all the vigilante stuff in Gotham on the technical side and Damian handling pretty much everything else there, as well as Bludhaven, like, not existing anymore. He still patrolled, and sometimes when he knew Gotham really didn't need him he'd take the jaunt over to Jump and give the folks around there a helping hand, but he spent so much less time than he used to freaking out that he actually caught himself relaxing a couple of days ago.
Maybe getting back to smoking pot wouldn't actually be a bad thing.
Maybe not often, maybe not around anyone else, but here and there.
It wasn't like it would be hard, what with the fact that Ivy had cornered the market on marijuana supply with her ability to swiftly grow high quality plants and all he had to do was find the right dealer to get it from... He was pretty sure his old dealer still sold. Not an issue there.
He scrubbed his hands over his face, grabbed his wallet, and decided to say fuck it. Worst case scenario he needed an intervention from his boyfriend.
By the time the Dick got back, his boyfriend was home from whatever the hell he'd spent his time today doing.
And since he by no means wanted to hide what he was going to be doing, he didn't bother trying. He greeted X, tossed the bag onto their coffee table, and continued about his business. If X noticed, he elected not to say anything for the time being.
It took nearly another hour for him to ask.
"... There a reason we've got weed on the table?" He asked, brow lifted high enough it almost disappeared under his bangs.
There was literally no point at all in lying or beating around the bush, so Dick shrugged and said, "I've got a proposition for you."
"Yeah?" He cocked his head, other brow lifting as well.
"Obviously you can say no," He prefaced, then, "But basically, I wanna get stoned, and I wanna fuck."
There was a long silence.
"So, let me get this straight," X said, pausing long enough that Dick knew he was running back through what he'd just said and trying to process it, "You... Want to not only give up on however many years of sobriety, but also to have me fuck you while you're high? Am I getting that right?"
And it was a weird, off-the-wall request, so Dick didn't mind letting him puzzle about it, but, "Yeah, more or less."
For a moment, X just stared at him, considering and searching. Then, finally...
"Alright."
God, what a relief. "Really?"
"Sure. You know what you're doing, right? And you're asking while you're sober, so unless you change your mind once you're high I've got consent... I don't see too big a problem."
He found himself smiling. "Thanks. I just― I suddenly had the urge a few days ago," He laughed, "And it hasn't left me alone since."
X snorted. "Sounds like you." Another pause, "So when are we doing this?"
"Tonight, maybe? I'll need to be sober by morning, so..."
"Then get smokin', sugar. I'm gonna make sure we still have lube."
He couldn't help laughing, but he also couldn't help obeying after he dug his other long-hidden supplies out of an old duffel bag in the closet.
His nose and mouth going dry were his first indicators of the high setting in. Then the vague throbbing in his head. Then the tingling in his groin.
He smiled, closing his eyes and leaning his head back so that his vision would stop swimming so much. He'd missed this feeling, if he was honest ― the mellow, vaguely horny buzzing from head to toe. It was nice. Always nice.
"Feeling good, baby?" Came X's voice, vaguely distorted and echoing as sounds usually were once he was buzzed.
"Mmmmmhmmmmmm." He hummed out, blinking his eyes back open and seeing X giving him an amused and fond sort of look. "How dumb do I look right now?"
"You don't look dumb." X snorted.
He blinked, and the sound was still echoing out in his ears but he couldn't quite remember what X had just said. Or what they'd been talking about.
There was the surefire way to tell he was high.
No thoughts, head empty.
That made him laugh a little.
X pulled his chin up and gave him a soft kiss. "I'd ask if you're still sure about this but I bet if I didn't fuck you you'd just jerk off."
He laughed again. "I'm... Really horny. For you. You're hot."
"Let's get to the bedroom then, huh?" X helped him to his feet, and he stumbled and giggled and tucked himself against X's side. "Careful, sugar. Careful."
The next thing Dick knew, he was on the bed, X was over him, and his neck was being littered with kisses. It was ticklish, almost, but pleasantly so, and when teeth finally scraped his skin it shot a little sparking tingle of arousal down his spine. Forgot being bitten felt good. He stretched himself out under the slightly taller male, positively preening at the attention, and dragged him up into a kiss.
Everything about it was sloppy, but he was high and overeager so of course it was.
X didn't seem to mind.
"Stay here a sec, babe." X uttered against his lips, easily breaking his grip and withdrawing.
Dick didn't even have it in him to argue ― X's half-amused little rumble had him boneless and, honestly, it wasn't like the view was bad. X had pulled away, after all, to strip out of his shirt. And Dick really liked seeing him shirtless. He wanted to reach out and touch, get his mouth all over X's skin, but something held him in place long enough for X to gently pull him back into a sitting position.
There was a kiss, which he enjoyed immensely, and then a little mumble of, "Good boy," which went straight to his, well, dick.
X helped him out of his shirt, then his pants, and shucked his own while layering kisses onto his neck and shoulders. It wasn't unlike how they normally did this, really, except that everything felt more intense and Dick wasn't really returning the favor as fervently as he normally did. He just... Didn't really have the coordination at the moment ― his limbs felt pleasantly like jelly and honestly he was kind of digging just being taken care of. Not doing anything, just being there and letting X do whatever he wanted.
Teeth dragged over his skin again and he could have purred if he was able to. God, that was nice. X was so good to him. Always so good to him.
He was glad they'd gotten over themselves, mostly himself, and started hanging out. He was always so happy to see him, these days. So happy to have him around. He was funny and he was sweet and he was... God.
Really hot.
And really, really good at whatever he was doing with his mouth right now.
"Spread your legs, sugar." X purred, and Dick didn't so much as hesitate to comply. "There we go. Man, look at you, baby ― we should do this more often. You're never this easy to rile up."
He smiled up at him, and when had he lost his boxers? He couldn't remember taking them off, but he also didn't try very hard to summon the memory. Not with X teasing the head with his thumb, smearing precum around until he was using it to ease the slide of his hand over his erection. Dick arched his hips, sighing happily, and X just chuckled.
"Yeah. Definitely need to do this more often." He muttered.
X pulled away, and Dick nearly followed him, but he was just this side of too off-balance to try and his limbs didn't respond before X returned with the lube and began to slick up his fingers. Dick shifted his legs open a little wider, heart hammering in his chest, skin burning everywhere X was touching him, and X gave him a smile as he slid a finger into him. He barely even felt it, really ― usually he knew it was just the slightest bit uncomfortable, but not right now. It was just a pleasant feeling.
The second joined it soon enough, then a third, and Dick was gasping and moaning before X ever acted as if he might move on from stretching him open. If there was a burn at all from the stretch, Dick certainly didn't feel it, and X was clearly enjoying having full control over how this went. Dick wouldn't dream of complaining about what he was doing ― sure, he wished he would hurry up a little, but the feeling was too good to pass up. The feeling of X grinding his fingers against his prostate, other hand teasing along the length of his cock, the tingle that slid down his spine every time X told him how pretty he looked, or how well he was doing. The tingle of hearing X's voice at all, dropped low with the moment and just this side of rough from arousal, the secure feeling of having his hands on him, his words echoing in his brain until they were nothing but sounds wrapped tight around him like a safety blanket.
He felt at peace, and horny, and he'd let X do whatever the hell he wanted right up until the moment he was sober, and he knew that.
"God, baby, look at you," X sighed, slowly pulling his fingers out and making him whine, "I think you're ready. You think so?"
"Mhm," He nodded eagerly, smiling up at him and honestly a little surprised that he had enough coherency left for that.
"Tell me what you want," His boyfriend said, even as he settled between his legs.
"You," He replied, carefully (or as carefully as he could) wrapping his legs around X's hips, "Just you. Whatever you wanna do to me."
X paused a second, at that, pupils huge and mouth partway open almost as if in surprise. And then he was smirking and kissing Dick into the bed and Dick simply melted.
He slid inside of him not long after that, and Dick could have cried from relief. It felt so, so good to be full. He'd been aching for it and he hadn't even known, but now here he was. He had it.
When X pulled away, he leaned just far enough to grab something and then sat up, and Dick barely processed it was his phone before the flash was going off and he felt warm with the realization X had just taken a picture of him. God. Was that X's thing? Was that something he liked? If so, Dick was pretty sure he could get behind it sober, too. He didn't mind the thought of someone seeing, he really didn't.
In fact he really liked the idea.
Before he could think to comment, X was rolling his hips and all thought fled his mind in an instant. He felt so full and warm and fuck X knew just what to do to him. He knew just the right angle as he continued to roll his hips, agonizingly slow but so, so perfect. He brushed his prostate with each thrust, kept his phone at the ready for who knew when, and everything about the moment just had Dick's stomach on fire with lust and pleasure.
He whined X's name, shuddering and squirming when the man's free hand wrapped around his cock again, jerking in time with his leisurely thrusts. There was a look in his eyes, a certain curve to his lips, that made him feel very small. The spike of adrenaline did wonderful things for him, knot in his stomach tightening incrementally.
Long before X seemed to even begin to get close, Dick found himself gasping out a warning. X merely smirked, speeding his hand at last and repositioning his phone.
The light came on, and Dick panted and whined and fuck there it was, there it was. He came with a cry, back arching a bit, legs clenching around X's hips.
He wasn't sure when the light went off, but it was off by the time he pried his eyes back open. X hadn't stopped fucking him the entire time, and it was such a sweet burn in his gut that he couldn't have complained if he wanted to. The taller man still looked like the cat who'd gotten the cream, even as he leaned down and kissed him to swallow up the noises he was making.
"I love seeing you like this," He sighed, into Dick's ear, "You really would just let me do whatever I wanted, huh?"
"Mm― Mhm." He agreed, jolting when X shifted and began to speed his thrusts a bit.
"You're doing so good for me. So fucking good. Look how well you take me, baby, you're just fucking sucking me in."
He whined, and whatever else X said slipped his mind as the words became pleasant noises and the thrusts got faster. He was practically boneless, happily moaning while X did whatever he wanted, willing to stay like this for as long as X wanted to. Even if he was sore in the morning. Even if he was exhausted.
The next thing he was fully aware of was another orgasm sweeping over him as he arched, and X cursing in his ear as he twitched inside of him. He panted, clinging to X's shoulders, and they stayed there for a long moment. Long enough that Dick's awareness started to wander off a little, frankly. But then X was pulling away. Pulling out after he broke out of Dick's grip. There was another flash from his phone, and then he was slipping off the bed.
Dick stayed as still as he could while X cleaned him up in the aftermath, and obediently sat up to take a long drink of water before X let him lay back down.
They settled in together, Dick curling like a satisfied cat against X's chest.
"Get some rest, sugar," X uttered, kissing the top of his head, "You're gonna need it."
"Love you," Dick mumbled in reply.
X breathed out a laugh. "Love you too."
And they laid in silence until whatever point Dick's consciousness slid away. He woke, however long later, with aching legs and a dry mouth, and he couldn't find it in himself to be upset about it.
They were definitely going to be doing that again.