Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Darkiplier: He wouldn't have a FAVORITE color, but he would like the more neutral and pastel colors. (ex. french gray, baby blue, etc.)

Wilford: Hot Pink, no question. This man is the embodiment of a chaotic gay. Hot pink.

Bim: Glitter. That's it. That's his favorite color. (If we are talking actual colors, probably a REALLY dark purple)

Google: He likes this really UNGODLY shad of orange and is really embarrassed about it.

Bing: He likes the same ungodly shade of orange as google. But this man is PROUD about it, his room is filled with this color.

The Other Googles: They like their own colors respectively, the narcissistic bastards.

Dr. Iplier: He likes the really pretty shade of turquoise.

The Host: This man can't SEE. In the physical sense at least.

Silver: A light blue. (If you get it I'm sorry)

Reynolds: Magenta. Will I explain? No.

Eric: Yellow, but not the retina burning kind, more of a soft yellow. Like his handkerchief!

King: Red, this mans is a KING and his taste in colors reflects that.

Illinois: Green, he likes the lush forest green of the Amazon.

Magnum: Dark blue, like a REALLY inky blue, like it is almost BLACK.

Yancy: Lime green. I don't know why, I just think it fits.

CJ (Camera Jim): Duct Tape.

RJ (Reporter Jim): Metallic blue.

Yan: Blood red. Need I explain more?

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Dark: His room would have a queen-sized canopy bed with an iron wrought frame, complete with curtains that seem to have a mind of their own. (The Jims keep trying to do a story about it, but the footage always get corrupted, and they don’t know if it is Darks doing, his aura’s, or the curtains themselves.) The sheets are a lighter shade of red, while the comforter is black with a dark red fleece throw blanket on top. (The pillows have a similar color arrangement) A dark oak wardrobe is on the opposite side of the room than his bed. The walls have this old-timey wallpaper. (The kind you would find at your grandma's house)

Wilford: His room is an absolute eyesore to almost everyone who enters, nearly everything is a god-awful shade of pink and red. (Though some of the red looks suspiciously like blood splatters) He has his bed, his dresser, his closet, and a sea of weapons on his wall. We’re talking, knifes, swords, machetes, hacksaws, axes, .44 revolvers, and many, many more. (He says he has a machine gun but that is yet to be proven) The worst part about the weapons on his wall, (Yes, he has MORE) is that they are the EXSACT same color as the wall!

Bim: Since his is the definition of a dramatic bi, his room is as tastefully decorated as Darks room, but without the maybe-alive curtains and the color scheme is purple, white, and glitter. His room is basically my worst nightmare, EVERYTHING SPARKLES. Nothing can get rid of Satans dandruff.

Bing/Googles: These guys all ‘sleep’ in the same room as their workshop. (By sleep I mean charge) Their room is pretty much what you think it would look like. Spare parts organized in a controlled chaos, wires EVERYWHERE, a table where they do their tinkering, the walls are an offensive shade of orange that that Bing painted them, and Google just doesn’t want to change them back. (Because he secretly likes the color)

Dr. Iplier: He doesn't really HAVE a room since he practically lives in his clinic/office, so his room is pretty simple, his bed, his dresser and closest, and his other desk with his laptop.

Host: Alright, so we can all agree that this man is the LORD of his aesthetic, right? So, bookshelves everywhere, completely filled to the brim with books, except for a small space for his desk, and bed. His desk has leather bound notebooks, quills and parchment, and wicker candles. But also, his room is COVERED in blood, his desk and floor are the worst. He tries his best not to get it on his books, and his bedding gets washed like, twice a day so it is not that BAD, but it still has stains. (Trust me, there is nothing harder than trying to get blood out of your bedsheets)

Silver: His room would look like one of his own more dedicated fans room. He has MCU posters Along with posters of himself and JBM. (He has an old poster of him and Ibis in his closet) His bedsheets have DC characters on it. His dresser and the rest of his room his pretty normal, his closet has his civilian clothes, his costume, a crappy store-bought version of his own costume, and an even worse handmade version of Jackies costume.

Reynolds: His room is simple. He has his bed, closet, dresser and desk, a few posters, and like 70 collectors' hard hats.

Ed: His room definitely has a southern theme, tumbleweed wallpaper, with western movie posters on the walls. All his hats lined up neatly on the wall cause Dark would have his head on a pike if he didn’t. He has a cactus in there somewhere, but he can’t find it even after he tore his room apart on seven separate occasions. (He swears he keeps sitting on it but when he looks it is not there)

Eric: The precious baby! His room would have a lot of comfort items, plushies, throw pillows, throw blankets, weighted blankets, etc. His bed would have all sorts of soft things on it. I feel like he would do a lot of puzzles and put them up on his walls. Like we are talking those really pretty butterfly ones. Yeah. (TOTALLY NOT ME PROJECTING, NOT AT ALL)

King: His room would have a royal but woodsy theme, so a color theme of brown, red, then gold to make it POP. The bed would be a king-sized chestnut framed four poster bed, with a red comfited, white sheets, and assorted gold throws in the shape of a nest. His dresser is made of the same type of wood as the bed, and it is beautifully ornate. Just, *chefs kiss!* The rest of his room is pretty bear, just a rug and a full-length mirror.

Illinois: His room would fit the stereotypical adventurer style pretty well, sort of western theme but not really, artifacts lining the walls, his whip and his hat on his vanity, (Y’know, the dresser with the mirror on top with the lightbulbs surrounding the mirror) and a full-length mirror because he is EXTREMELY vain.

Magnum: SEA. His ENTIRE room is an ocean. Blue is everywhere and he has pieces of a shipwrecks decorating the space. There are fish nets hanging from the ceiling, and a whole bunch of other little trinkets from his seafaring days

Yancy: His room would be bare, because he feels like he shouldn’t be able to, with the jail thing and all, and that too much would over-whelm him.

The Jims: (yes, they share a room) The only head cannon I have for them is bunk beds. Just Matching EVERYTHING.

Yan: Schoolgirl but murder, ya dig? Like shrines, books, hack saws, the usual.

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Dark: He looks like he is in his late 30’s but he is like 130 years old

Wil: Early 30’s! But he acts like he is 12

Bim: Late 20’s... but he acts like he is 6

Bing: Mid-20's, and an excitable 7-year-old at heart

Google: Early 30’s but he swears that if he actually COULD he would have gray hairs, so late 40’s

The other Googles: Early 30’s, but act like they are in their 20’s

Dr. Iplier: Same as Google but he actually HAS gray hairs

Host: Mid-20's, he may be an almost omniscient being, but he is a petty bitch, and you all know it.

Silver: Early 30's, and he acts his age, unlike most of them.

Reynolds: Early 20’s, but he acts like a moody teenager

Ed: He looks like he is in his late 40’s, but he acts like an absolute CHILD around Bim because, like me, he HATES glitter

Eric: He looks 18, and he acts like it.

King: He looks like he is in his mid 30’s, but he can act like he is 8

Illinois: 20’s but he is a MAN-BABY

Magnum: I honestly don’t know, he is in his own category

The Jims: Early 30’s, but they are either older than time itself or they are chaotic 3 year olds. There is NO in-between

Yan: They look 18, and acts like a whiny, murderous, 6-year-old

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Dark: The sun parlor, because the piano is there and when the sun is positioned just right above the Manor, the sight is ethereal.

Wilford: He enjoys the back yard they have that stretches out to the tree line, with a beautiful garden, gazebo, shed, and a hedge maze. (Which is great for Halloween)

Bim: The shed.

Bing: The attic, it has antiques dating back to the 1900’s and it is all so fascinating.

Googles: They all hardly leave the workshop so it makes sense that it would be their favorite place in the Manor.

Dr. Iplier: His clinic, he loves his work and if he could do just one thing for the rest of his life, he would pick doctoring every time without hesitation.

Host: The library. He loves the library; It has hundreds if not thousands of books and almost everyone has a braille copy. He also wrote books and added them to the vast sea of books.

Silver: The living room, he enjoys spending time with the other egos,

Reynolds: His room. He like the solitude

Ed: He is the same as Reynolds.

Eric: He loves the kitchen because he like baking for the other egos and making dinner. They always offer to help though.

King: THE WOODS. He loves the feeling of the wind in his hair and grass beneath his feet. He loves the colors of spring, he loves the cool crisp air of fall, he loves the long summers days were his subjects go down to the massive lake in the forest, he loves the beauty of winter and the snow softly settling on the ground. (King is such an aesthetically pleasing character. I love my boy)

Illinois: He loves the part of the woods were King and his squirrels stray away from, the thick foliage making it difficult to navigate, he spends literal HOURS a day trying to clear enough space for a tree house he is trying to build for King, so he doesn’t have to trek back the 2 hours it takes to get to and from the house.

Magnum: He love this MASSIVE lake near the edge the woods.

CJ: He loves the garden because he is the one that grew it.

RJ: He likes the garden too but CJ would chop off his hand even if he TOUCHED the flowers.

Yan: The basement, because that and the shed are basically the murder rooms:

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Dark: He wears a three-piece suit all the time, no questions asked.

Wil: He always wears the GAUDIEST 70-80's outfits, and they are really bright.

Bim: Skinny jeans and button up shirts for causal.

Bing/The Googles: They all were the same thing as in their debuts

Dr. Iplier: He wears his doctor outfit when he is working. But I think he would wear turtlenecks.

Host: He has seven different trench-coats, and the sizes get progressively bigger.

Silver: Long sleeve button ups and jeans that match his costume aesthetic.

Reynolds: He likes the wool sweater over collared button up look. (To be frank, so do I)

Ed: He just wears his debut outfit in varying colors.

Eric: He would wear stuff like this, https://cdna.lystit.com/photos/2013/10/08/urban-outfitters-orange-shirts-for-all-my-friends-weird-kitty-buttondown-shirt-product-1-13935757-636729847.jpeg

King: His crown and cape. He switches the clothes underneath, but no one has ever seen him wash his cape, and the time they tried all of Kings squirrels haunted them, so they never got the chance.

Illinois: Think off-brand Indiana Jones.

Yancy: Greaser style with browns and yellows!

Magnum: PIRATE!

The Jims: They can go anywhere from, https://www.mrmunro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Cavani-Albert-Grey-Three-Piece-Suit-Worn.jpg to, https://d.facdn.net/art/wolfdemon19/1497463218/1497463218.wolfdemon19_19239869_1484946798223815_1249460726_n.jpg and it is TERRIFYING. They always match though.

Yan: https://a.wattpad.com/cover/102715330-256-k659902.jpg

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Dark: Peppermint hot chocolate and candy canes

Wil: An entire tub of cotton candy flavored ice cream

Bim: HUMAN! jk, it's actually REALLY rare steaks

Bing: Three meat pizza

Google: Linzer torte

Google Red: Nonnevot

Google Green: Poppy seed rolls

Google Oliver: Oreos.

Dr. Iplier: The Death Juice ™, which is, 3 Red bulls, 4 Monsters, 7 five hours energies, 8 cups of Death Wish Coffee, and 5 cups of sugar. He downed it all in one go after 2 all-nighters, went to work... and blacked out the second he walks out the door. The next thing he knew he was on a hospital bed where here worked, and no one would tell him what happened. But everyone else KNOWS.

Host: Mocha Coffee Cake.

Silver: Fries and Frosties

Reynolds: Ranch Pizza

Eric: The Big Happiness ™, 3 scoops each of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, 2 MASSIVE brownies, 4 chocolate chip cookies, chocolate syrup, caramel, butterscotch, maple syrup, sprinkles, ALOT of whipped cream, and a shit load of cherries. The Jims once walked into Eric eating this at 3 am on top of the fridge, he hissed and the Jims RAN. The Jims went screaming around the house saying the demons got Shy Jim, and Eric pulled a sneaky on them and left to his room. They didn’t get the recording and every time it was brought up the rest of the egos shut the Jims down, and it haunts the Jims to this day. (I love a secretly chaotic Eric)

King: Alright, so, you take two pancakes and cram as much peanut butter as you can in-between them with the edges still touching. Then you pour a LAKE of maple syrup on top. When he first starts eating it, he is like, this is heaven on earth. Halfway through he is wondering if he put too much peanut butter. Finally, at the last bite, he is questioning his entire existence and why he made this in the first place. He waits a few days to recover, then it REPEATS. (No, I am not speaking from personally experience, what gave you that idea?)

Illinois: Mint Oreos + peanut butter

Magnum: Soft pretzels

Yancy: Olive Oil and Ice cream. (It sounds gross, but it is really good)

CJ: Chocolate covered Lays

RJ: Carmel popcorn

Yan: Peanut butter pickle banana sandwich

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Dark: Wil

Wil: Dark (Mostly just pictures he takes of weird things he finds happening around the house.

Bim: He CONSTANTLY bugs Phantom, and our resident deal maker has no idea who he is. Like, Phan has met the Iplier’s, he knows who they are, BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW WHICH ONE IS TEXTING HIM AT ANY GIVEN TIME, because Natemare is an ass and changed all the Ipliers names in Phantom's phone to ‘Weird MF’ and he has no idea who is texting him. He is also an old man who doesn’t know how to change it back.

Google, Red, Green: They doesn’t text anyone unless they need something (which is rare)

Oliver: Eric (I think their friendship is very pure and it deserves all of my UwU’s)

Bing: Chase (These two are bros and you cannot change my mind)

Dr. Iplier: Dr. Henrik von Scheeplestein. (They have a ‘rivalry’)

Host: Mans don’t have EYES

Silver: Jackieboy-man! They are the super crime fighting duo!!

Reynolds: He likes trolling the twins by hiding his number and texting them vague and cryptic stuff. (ex. I know you're in there, You can’t hide, etc.)

Ed: His employees

Eric: He texts Oliver a lot, but him and Blank talk from time to time. (I would love if someone wrote this, I think it’s sweet)

King: Eric

Illinois: Bim.

Magnum: Robbie. They would make great pirate buddies.

Yancy: Him and JJ would have a common interest in music and would bond over it.

The Jims: They spam everyone with memes. EVERYONE.

Yan: Their current senpai.

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Dark: MCR

Wil: He has a lot of them, all of which he makes no attempt to hide.

Bim: REALLY bad slasher films

Googles/Bing: MLP It’s cursed but I love it.

Dr. Iplier: Doctor Who

The Host: Singing in the shower

Silver: DC and Marvel

Reynolds: Legos

Ed: Bad Western Rom-Coms

Eric: The Big Happiness ™

King: Eating peanut butter right out of the jar.

Illinois: Those shitty romance books

Magnum: Wood carving

Yancy: Ukulele

CJ: Gardening

RJ: Cookie decorating

Yan: Writing. (I like the thought of Yan and Host peacefully writing in the same room)

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Dark: Dancing with the Devil by Set it Off

Wil: Candyman by Christina Aguilera

Bim: Cannibal by Ke$ha

Googles: I am the Machine by Imagine Dragons

Bing: Sad Song by Scotty Sire

Host: LUCIFERIA by Ryan Creep on YouTube (Idk who it is really from but that’s the guy who posted it)

Dr. Iplier: I’ll Be Your Doctor by Joe Cacker

Silver: Hero Too from MHA (It’s a boss ass song, highly recommend the Natewantstobattle cover)

Reynolds: Why Should I Worry by Billy Joel

Ed: Cotton Eyed Joe.

Eric: Mister Glassman by Scotty Sire

King: Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Illinois: Classic by MKTO

Magnum: Any Sea Shanty

Yancy: I Don’t Wanna Be Free by Markiplier

The Jims:

Yan: Smoke and Mirrors (The Yandere Song)

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Dark: Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn't care about? Yeah, that is now.

Wil: You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

Bim: I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

Google: Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

Bing: Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?

Dr. Iplier: Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?

Host: OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!

Silver: I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Reynolds: When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you?

Ed: You are proof God has a sense of humor.

Eric: I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

King: I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Illinois: Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait.

Magnum: I find the fact that you’ve lived this long both surprising and disappointing.

Yancy: May both sides of youses' pillow be uncomfortably warm.

RJ: Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you.

CJ: You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.

Yan: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

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I'm not going to continue this work anymore, I don't really have the motivation to do it anymore, so I'm orphaning it. If anyone else wants to pick back up feel free to do so! I have another headcannon work if you're interested but this one is no more.