Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She was running to catch up. The forest was cold, dark, and dry that night, the moon illuminated her make-shift paths. Short-cuts that were safe were used. Short-cuts that almost killed her were too. After twists and turns right-side-up and up-side-down, she was finally at the bridge. She needed to get across it. Her parents were on the other side. They wouldn’t just leave her, would they? They had to wait for her. They had to.

She was running across the bridge. The wooden boards creaked under her hooves, the rhythmic click almost making her forget what she was doing. Had the bridge always been that long? It seemed to never end.

She stopped in the middle of the bridge (or was it the end? Or the beginning? It was too cloudy to tell). She was yelling for her Mama and Papa, but they couldn’t hear her over the rain. It pounded on her fur. Deafening her.

There was a crack. A flash of light. And a burning pain throughout her entire body.

<[-----]>

Zebu awoke with a jolt, her pillow falling off her bed. She sat up, ignoring the tears that were continuing to soak into her fur. I’m not there anymore. I’m safe, she kept telling herself. Zebu carefully grabbed a set of matches off her bedside table and lit the small lamp that she had etched little stars in years ago. It illuminated her little room, although dimly. She checked the time. 4:38 , the clock read.

A little chirp and a flurry of golden feathers distracted Zebu from her train of thought. The small phoenix sang a small little tune as it perched itself on her shoulder. “G’mornin, Esh…” Zebu groaned, rubbing the tired out of her eyes. “What do you say we get some early morning training in?” A small little peep from her familiar gave her confirmation, as she slipped into her purple robes, pulled her hood over her head, and stepped out into the moonlight, letting herself get lost in the rhythmic clop of her hooves. The rocky path between her small house and the waterfall closest to her home was not a long one, but a very pleasant one, only illuminated by the moon, stars, and white flowers that dotted the trail.

<[-----]>

The base of the waterfall wasn’t anything special, just a small, shallow lake, with various flowers growing around it. Zebu wasn’t sure if the other Capra knew about it, which is what made it so special to her.

After settling herself at the base of the waterfall, she let her mind wander (against her better judgment). She thought about the nightmare she had. She didn't know where the forest part came from, she doesn't remember anything outside of the mountains, let alone ‘twisting woods.’

Oh well, it didn’t matter. It did make Zebu wonder about different kinds of magic. Of course, she would never give up trying to perfect Spirit Magic, but it wouldn’t hurt to learn about other kinds, would it? She’d have to read up on Soul Magic, sometime. It sounded the most interesting.

<[-----]>

“Ah! Wh-- Esh!” Zebu exclaimed, snapping out of her trance. The little phoenix in question just peeped happily, as its owner’s aura fizzled out. “Mmm… what time is it?” Zebu said, standing up and wringing out the bottom of her skirt. She looked at the sun, still trying to climb onto the horizon. Must be around 6:40. 

Stretching, she said, “Welp, we better get going. Those books aren’t gonna read themselves!” With a tweet from Esh, the two were off, climbing back up the mountain and making their way back to the Twilight Bell.

<[-----]>

The cracks in the ancient stones of the Twilight Bell no longer scared Zebu, she knew they would hold her just like they did a million times before as she jumped up and swung on the giant bell. The familiar three impossibly loud chimes echoed throughout the neighboring mountain peaks, their sound distorting the world around the nomad, making way for the twilight dimension. The brilliant night sky full of Starcores dimly illuminating the huge stone structures that warped into view. Esh was the only bright thing in sight, its golden feathers shimmering like the sun and lighting the way. As Zebu followed it along the sparkling waterfalls, a familiar numb fuzziness washed over her, only able to ignore it when she stepped into the Dweller’s aura.

When Zebu reached close to the highest point of the towers-- settling beneath a tree with a bannered zip-line-- two giant eyes manifested in the sky. They looked at Zebu and Esh (who was perched on its owner’s shoulder); their pupils dilating, as if getting used to the light (even though it was dimly lit in the bell). “Who are you, and why are you trespassing on my domain, doeling,” the being said.

“Ohhhh~ I’m so scaredddd~” Zebu replied, crossing her arms, “Seriously, did you think you would get me with that? Try harder next time.”

The eyes twisted themselves away, being replaced by a tall goat with a very long braid ( too long, Zebu thought, they’re gonna trip on it one day ) and a body that looked like it was made out of the night sky. “Heh, that scared Timmy when I tried it on him…” the Twilight Goat said sheepishly, now with a physical mouth and not an astral one.

“Yeah, well, I think Timmy was scared of a lot of things,” Zebu remembered faintly when Esh lit itself on fire in front of the mage-in-training, and he almost threw it into the void (which wouldn’t have been bad because Esh can fly, but it’s the principle of it).

Sage Twilight looked like they were searching through the dark sky, almost trying to look beyond it. “Hm. Yeah…” They seemed to realize that the world exists again, and perked back up. “Welp, anyways! Wacha readin’? Still on that chapter about Soul Channeling?” They asked, plopping down next to Zebu.

“‘M reading about Soul Magic, actually. I’ve been-- um-- considering traveling to other places to learn more about magic. Since, y’know, I’m learning so slowly and all.”

“You’re not--” Sage Twilight sighed, having gone through this argument 1,000 times before and never getting to a conclusion-- “well if you’re interested in soul magic, I’d say Subcon Kingdom is a good place to study. I know a few people there, too!”

“You know everyone, Sage Twilight. Are they nice?”

“They’re-- Well… not ‘nice,’ but they’re not mean either. I mean, they’re as good as dead people can be, you know?”

Zebu finally looked up from her book. “Like, ghosts?”

Sage Twilight thought about it for a moment, way too long for the actual question. “In a sense, yes? As long as you steer clear of their leader, you’ll be good.”

“Their… leader? Like a king?”

“Their boss. He’s not the nicest to intruders, the only reason why I’m still alive is because I can’t die.”

“Oh, gods, the worst fate, to be annoyed by Sage Twilight for all of eternity!” Zebu exclaimed.

“Hey!” Sage Twilight said with no rebuttal, ruffling up the younger Capra’s hair. “Anyways, Soul Magic isn’t the same as Spirit magic, per se, but it’s similar and easier to learn. I bet MoonJumper would have some more to say about it, though, they’ve always been better at explaining magic.”

Zebu gave a small “Mm,” as an acknowledgment, absorbed in reading. She vaguely recalled Timmy telling her “ You’ll never learn anything if you don’t actually practice! ” Well, she was pretty sure that was just him wanting to fight, but she didn’t care either way.

Sage Twilight got up and stretched. “Welp, you might want some weapons if you’re leaving!”

“I… huh?”

“To put it simply; there are a lot of people who hurt for the sake of it, and you should be able to protect yourself.”

“But I don’t wanna fight--!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know!” Sage Twilight summoned a bag out of thin air and rummaged through it. “But it’ll come in handy. Trust me.” Various swords and sythes of different sizes were thrown into a pile behind Sage Twilight “I do not trust you with a sword, no offense,” they muttered, continuing to try and find something suitable for their apprentice. Finally, they exclaimed, “Here they are!” while pulling out a small box.

The box contained three daggers, all with wooden handles that looked hand-made. “Jeez, where’d you even find these?” Zebu said, feeling like a toddler who wanted to touch everything in a museum.

“My best friend, mentor, and I made them! It took quite a while to find the right crystals to make the blades, but I think they turned out alright,” Sage Twilight explained, handing the box to Zebu. “Pick your favorite.”

The blades-- one chipped clear quartz with a pink-painted handle; moon patterns carved into it, another holding a lightning ridge opal that looked like it contained the entire galaxy with white constellations sprinkling its green handle, and one sapphire with a hand-guard carved to be like a blue rose-- almost seemed to glow as Zebu took out the second dagger along with its leather scabbard. “What do you think, Esh? This the one?” she asked the baby phoenix who gave a happy tweet in reply. “Alrighty, then! That settles that.”

“So, when do you plan on leaving? ‘Few weeks?” Sage Twilight asked, locking the box back up with a few clicks and dropping it into the endless void of their bag.

“Probably tomorrow,” Zebu said, mindlessly scratching the side of Esh’s head and sitting back down.

Sage Twilight almost choked. “Do you have any idea how impulsive and dangerous that is?!”

“As if you have any room to talk about going on a dangerous and impulsive journey.”

“That was one time! And I had been planning for it since I was, like, 10!”

“Well, I’ve been planning for it for approximately 5 hours, and I think it’s a good idea.” It’s not like I have any family that will worry , Zebu wanted to say. She kept that to herself, though.

“But--!” Sage Twilight sighed as they took a seat next to Zebu. “Okay, I’m not gonna be able to talk you out of this, am I?”

“Nope!”

“Alright, just… be safe. There are a lot of scary things out there.”

“Okay, parent .” Zebu sarcastically replied, sticking her tongue out at her mentor. 

Something about Sage Twilight being her parent, though, sounded nice to Zebu for some reason.

“Now, let’s get you and Esh packed up, you’ve got a long journey ahead of you,”

“Is it really long or are you just messing with me?”

“I’m just messing! It shouldn’t be that long if you just keep on going west!”

“Right.” The thought of making a journey to learn new things about magic all on her own made her smile. “Thank you!”

Chapter Text

The soft crunch of the leaves under her hooves shoved Zebu out of her thoughts. She looked around her, but the only bright thing in sight was Esh, its feathers giving off a familiar warm glow. There was, however, very distant dots beyond the heavily wooded forest. Zebu wondered if it was something friendly, or something else.

The main difference between here and Alpine that Zebu first noticed was, of course, the terrain, but also the cold . The mountains were cold, sure, but it was an airy type of cold. The type of cold that makes you want to spin around. The type of cold that, for lack of a better term, is warm, is refreshing . The cold in Subcon Kingdom (She was assuming she was in Subcon already, based on what Sage Twilight had told her about the purple forest), however, was frigid. It almost felt suffocating, like she was trapped in a block of ice.

The faint, colorful dots were getting closer, though. So she pushed back all of the terrifying thoughts about whatever happened to this place and kept walking. After all, why should she care? She had Esh (and a built-in fluffy coat) to keep herself warm.

Upon closer inspection, the lights were coming from some colorful mushrooms. Zebu tried not to get close to the spores. Even though her face-scarf would protect her from most diseases, better safe than sorry, yeah?

Actually, there were a lot of light sources in this creepy forest. There were, of course, the mushrooms. But also the lanterns that were strung up on trees, not to mention the part of the forest that looked like it was eternally on fire (which Zebu didn’t question, considering she’s seen far weirder things).

For a place with so much light, it sure was dark and creepy.

Still, she continued along the path. Surely there would be someone who could guide her to the friend Sage Twilight was talking about (MoonJester? It had been weeks since Zebu left Alpine, and she was never good with names), right?

She hoped that ‘someone’ would come soon. It felt like eyes were watching her from everywhere.

And she was Sensing some really bad vibes from this place. It felt angry, with something hidden underneath. Whatever it was, she hoped it would stop soon.

Zebu could just see the end of the dusty path when she accidentally stepped on a flower. Before she had time to register anything, twisting vines shot towards her from every direction, restraining her as Esh squawked and flew off her shoulder. The world around her spun away into a flurry of shapes and colors, being replaced with eye-wrenching purples and thundering clouds. A creature uncoiled itself from the darkness, its eyes opened to reveal that they were pupil-less and bright yellow. It laughed the loudest the young Capra had heard anyone laugh, and in a booming voice, shouted “ FOOL ! You blew it! You’ve totally screwed yourself! Nobody enters my home and leaves in one piece!”

Zebu tried to struggle against the vines to grab her dagger with no luck.

“Tell you what, though,” the creature continued, “you get to live ! That’s right, aren’t you a lucky one!”

She wasn’t lucky in the slightest if she was even in this situation, but she’ll take this as a win.

“Normally I’d eat your soul and toss your body, but you’ve won the lottery! I just happen to be missing a brain-dead servant to do all my dirty work! I’d rather have an adult and not a kid, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers!”

Okay, now Zebu was just irritated. I’m hardly a kid, jerk! She kept that to herself, though.

“So, here’s the deal, I’ve got a piece of paper here!” The creature snapped, and a contract and quill manifested out of thin air. “Don’t worry about the details, just sign the line at the bottom!”

They both stared at each other for a moment.

“Oh. Ahem. Right,” the large creature snapped again, and the vines released her, slowly retracting themselves as Zebu fell the 2 inches she was being suspended over. 

Mumbling a little “Thanks for ripping up my robes,” and brushing off her skirt, she grabbed the quill and paper the creature manifested. Organize the Lab? Sounds easy enough. Wait-- ‘I’ll be keeping the following hostage: your soul’? Well, that ain’t good… “Hey Mx… wait, what’s your name?”

“Hm, that’s a complicated one, Kid! Most of my minions call me boss, but I’m known as The Snatcher by outsiders!”

“Okay, Mx. Snatcher? How am I supposed to practice Soul Magic if I don’t have a soul?”

Snatcher muttered something under their breath that sounded like ‘that’s your only concern about this?’ and said “Listen, Kid, I don’t CARE about why you came here! Just sign the contract and get done with it.”

Zebu looked up from the glowing contract and raised an eyebrow. “And if I don’t?”

A long sigh. “I’ll KILL you! I feel like I’ve made myself VERY clear.”

“Okay, okay, jeez!” Zebu scrawled her signature on the line, and then sighed, whistling for Esh to perch on her shoulder as she held up the contract and quill up to Snatcher.

He snapped and both the contract and quill went up in flames. “Annndddd we’re in business! Oh, lemme just take this real quick,” Snatcher snapped again to steal Zebu’s soul.

Normally, Zebu would outright deny she’s scared of anything. But right now was not normal. There was lightning striking her body and it hurt and she was terrified . Even though it lasted for a few seconds, it felt like hours . Every crack would tear into her body further and further , causing more and more searing pain . After the strikes were over and done with, Zebu had collapsed to her knees, gasping for air with tears starting to form in her eyes, feeling her soul slipping from her grasp, and floating into the air where Snatcher promptly caught it.

“Wow, that took more of a toll on you than I thought. Eh, whatever!” the realm that had formed around the three just moments before melted, and Subcon Kingdom had returned. “Well, report back to me when you’re done!” Snatcher called back while flying off above the trees.

When Zebu’s heart rate evened out, she stood up and brushed the dirt off her robes when she realized something was itching the back of her head. She took off her hood and a piece of paper fluttered out. My contract? Seriously? He could have just handed it to me.

Picking up the contract, though, it seemed to tug her in a direction. To the right, along the path. Looking down it into the fog, however, filled her with a sense of dread. She might be stuck here for a long, long time.

<[-----]>

It took simple (‘Simple,’ as in she almost puked twice) teleportation to get to the other side of the cliff that held the lab Zebu assumed she was looking for.

To put it simply: the place was a mess.

Sighing, she said, “C’mon, Esh, this is gonna take a while.”

First things first, the bones.

Bones littered all around the messy structure, some new and some old. She picked them up one by one, trying not to think about how long they’ve been here and whether or not they were real.

She only left a few skulls on the shelves (Zebu was 90% sure Mr. Snatcher only left them there for the aesthetic), and got rid of the rest.

Seeing as Zebu didn’t know how to get rid of broken glass (and she didn’t want to get any stuck in her fur or get cut), it was onto the books. 

They were mostly about law and soul magic, with a few (very old from the looks of it) fairy tales. Zebu decided she would sort through all of the books first and divide them by subject, then put them on the shelves by rainbow order, just like they were in her home.

Wait, what? Why do I care? It’s not like I’m gonna be using this place any time soon.

Even still, Zebu organized it just like she did at home.

She was just starting to worry that the stack of law books would topple over when she found a book that looked out of the ordinary. It looked way newer, for one, and it didn’t have any title from what Zebu could see.

No one would notice if she took a peak, right?

The first thing she noticed upon opening the book was that it wasn’t a book, but a journal. The second being the contents of said journal. The first few pages were listing ‘Subconites’ and ‘Dwellers,’ numbering from 1 to 934, each with nicknames, pronouns, and a short paragraph underneath. What was listed in the paragraphs was weird, though. For example, the paragraph listed for a ‘Subconite’ named Graffiti. Scribbled in semi-coherent cursive, it read, “Panic attacks aren’t unusual but have been getting better, leaves the forest with their outsider friend a lot after most attacks. Has to be repaired often, usually the right arm.”

Flipping past the rest of the entries (it felt more like an invasion of privacy than snooping), Zebu came across notes on different creatures. One that caught her eye was simply labeled ‘Deer?’. The paragraph under it said, “Something (or maybe a species of things) that live in the southern part of Subcon. They look like deer, but when they spot you they turn into… something? All I can tell is that their eyes turn red, and start dashing at any moving body at alarming speeds. Only a few of my minions have ever encountered them, and I had to make new bodies for them. Any living thing that is in a 10-yard radius of the deer-things is as good as dead.”

Rustling above her in the trees made Zebu snap the journal shut and slam it down on the stack of fairy tales. A familiar floating silhouette loomed above the young Capra.

<[-----]>

“Hey, Kiddo! How’s the cleaning going?” Snatcher asked, drifting to lay across a tree branch.

After Zebu let out the faintest squeak out of surprise, she said, “U-um. It’s going ok, I guess. I don’t know how you organize things so I just did it how I do it at home,” the kid (he remembered the name Zebu in just legible handwriting at the bottom of her contract) said. “Oh, also, I think this is yours.” She held out Snatcher’s journal to him with one claw, nervously checking the title of a book with the other.

“Wow, a kid who doesn’t snoop around in other people’s stuff! My past self could learn a thing or two about you,”

“Well,” Zebu put shoved the last book in the stack into its place, “ you could learn how to not sneak up on people. I’m 90% sure I became a mouse just then.”

“What are you anyway? You look different from most humans that have come around here.”

“Oh, I’m a Capra. A goat,” she clarified at Snatcher’s confused expression. “I guess you wouldn’t see Capra that often, most of us only travel to neighboring mountains.” Zebu took a slight pause, jumping up to sit on the edge of the lab, looking off into nothingness. “What’re you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a ghost! Isn’t It obvious?” Snatcher said, flicking his tail.

“Really?! I thought you were like… well, I don’t know, but the feathers aren’t really screaming ‘ghost,’ you know? More like ‘cryptid that will haunt little kids dreams.’” Zebu cut the rest of her sentence off in favor of blurting out a question. “Wait, doesn’t that mean you were alive?! What did you look like?” Upon realizing what she had just asked, Zebu brought her claws to her face. “I--I mean, uh…”

“Well, I think I looked something like--” Snatcher grinned as he transformed into a replica of the unsuspecting kid and snuck up on her-- “ THIS !” he exclaimed as he turned his mouth into a sharp-toothed monstrosity.

Zebu screamed and fell to the ground. “Oh my GODS ,” she said as she recovered, “I didn’t think anyone could rival Sage Twilight’s annoyingness .”

“I’ll wear that title like a badge of honor,” Snatcher said, transforming back to his usual self.

Chapter Text

Dear Journal (it’s not a diary, I don’t care what Sage Twilight or Timmy say),

Two days ago, I got trapped in this stupid forest. I tried to convince myself I didn’t need my soul and tried to leave, but I’m kinda bound to this place now. And then this shadow dude made me do his chores! Can you believe that?!

Anyway, I came here to train, so that’s what I’m gonna do, with my soul or not.

Also, there’s a lot of weird things here? Like I get weird vibes from everywhere I go, and something tells me that I don’t want to know why.

Um, I think that’s all? Later!

-Zebu

<[-----]>

“Mr. Snatcher? Are there any waterfalls around here?” Zebu asked.

Snatcher looked up from his book. “Depends, why?”

“I don’t want to get behind on my training. I was bad at magic before, if I ever leave this place I don’t wanna let Sage Twilight down,” she said, fidgeting with her claws.

‘Leave this place.’ How cute.

Something about how Zebu said it though tugged at the back of Snatcher’s mind. Like it held more meaning than simply having weak magic.

“Eh, whatever. You can try drowning yourself in the well if you want.”

“Jeez, how nice .” Zebu trotted away, mumbling something about how being stuck in Subcon for the rest of her life will be the worst.

<[-----]>

Zebu looked at the forest ahead of her. It’s not like it could be more dangerous than what she’s already been through, right? The crumbled white tower looked promising, maybe she could actually get some training done.

With Esh fluttering by her side, Zebu squeezed her eyes shut and stepped into the thicker part of the forest, ignoring the thorny vines that threatened to trip her.

The walk was kind of peaceful if she was being honest. It reminded Zebu of walking to the Twilight Bell every morning, with her bag of way too many books trying its best to weigh her down. It was comforting in a twisted sort of way.

There were a lot of things to take in around her. The  Golden Chain Trees (at least, that’s what Zebu assumed they were, based on her extensive flora knowledge) drooped, making it easier to see the flowers that grew off of them. The flowers were a stunning shade of yellow, clinging to each other as if trying to grow a bridge from the ground to the tree. Some of the flower-vines made it to the ground, choosing to continue their journey and dotting the forest floor with yellow flowers. Even though they were obviously over-grown, it was still breath-taking.

It looked like the only part of Subcon Kingdom that hadn’t been tainted by… Well, whatever was done to it. Zebu couldn’t place why, but it felt like there was more to this place. Like something awful happened.

Esh didn’t seem to like anything about this though. It was on guard and flinched at every little noise, flaming up like there was something to attack.

There was movement in the corner of Zebu’s eye. Turning, she realized it was just a deer resting in a small clearing. She took a small step forward, making the smallest crunching sound. The deer perked up and looked at Zebu. Its eyes widened and went red. Blood started pouring from its ears. It suddenly bolted upright, its face ripping in fourths to reveal another mouth, also pouring with blood, with a set of horrifyingly sharp teeth. It started dashing towards Zebu, Its whole body bloody and its mouth open wide.

The thoughts going through Zebu’s mind were exactly equal to zero as she froze in place and instinctively tried to find her dagger, barely aware of Esh burrowing itself in her fur.

A figure suddenly flew in front of Zebu, with strings protruding from its fingers. The strings, glowing red, wrapped around the deer creature’s ribs and threw it against a Golden Chain Tree. The creature roared in pain as the figure that saved Zebu protectively picked her up and rushed out of the yellow-coated part of the forest. 

All of the sights and sounds had overwhelmed Zebu, so she was grateful when her sight became blurry as she slipped out of consciousness.

<[-----]>

When Zebu woke up less than an hour later, she was as warm as she’s ever been in the forest. She shifted, rolling to her other side, and realized there was a thick, fluffy blanket covering her.

Zebu slowly sat up, briefly considering the idea that Subcon had just been a fucked up nightmare.

Well, it’s obviously not, she thought, looking over at the being that had saved her earlier.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re awake!” the being said, putting its book down, “I was worried I found you too late.”

“Thanks! Who’re you, though?” Zebu asked, sitting up and wrapping the blanket over her shoulders.

“Ah, of course! People have called me many things, but I mostly go by MoonJumper.”

“Alright, uh, thank you for saving me, Mx. MoonJumper. My name is Zebu, sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s no problem at all! You won’t believe the number of people I’ve tried to save in that part of the forest.”

MoonJumper. It was a nice name. Familiar even? Wait, no, she remembered that name. “Wait a minute, you’re Sage Twilight’s friend!”

“Well, ‘friend’ is one way of putting it. I’m assuming you’re one of the apprentices they told me about?”

“The one and only!” Zebu said, proudly, “I came all the way here to get more familiar with magic.”

“And, let me guess, Twi wanted me to help?”

“Well, if it’s not too much trouble…”

“No, no! I’d be happy to!”

Zebu was quiet for a second, then said “Oh my gosh, I wish I ran into you before that other dude, you’re so much nicer!”

MoonJumper laughed a very familiar laugh, but it was hard for Zebu to put a reason as to why.

<[-----]>

“Wait, so magic can look like anything?” Zebu said, letting Esh burrow under her hood as she kicked around the fallen leaves.

“Kind of, it’s a bit more complex than that, but that’s the gist of it,” MoonJumper replied, shrugging.

“Alright, so what, I just do this--” Zebu put her hand out in front of her-- “and it just takes any form it wants?”

Zebu stared at her hand for a few seconds while nothing happened.

Then, a few green and purple sparks fluttered around her claws before fizzling out.

Zebu stared dumbstruck at her hand and said after a few seconds, “Okay, I get what you mean now”

MoonJumper simply laughed and drifted behind Zebu, gently guiding her claws in front of her. “The key to magic is to stay calm and in control. If you don’t have a complete handle on yourself, you might hurt yourself or others around you.”

(An ‘I know from experience’ hung silently in the air.)

“But, if you keep your focus on every aspect of your magic, it’ll be easier to cast!” MoonJumper finished.

Zebu flexed her claws out more confidently in front of her and focused as hard as she could. For a few seconds, nothing happened.

And then a flurry of a thousand hues flew out from Zebu’s palms, spiraling out and around the trees and lighting up the dark forest around the two, crackling like fire with multi-colored sparks. Zebu and MoonJumper flinched back at the sight as the greens, blues, purples, and yellows dispersed.

Zebu scrunched her claws into a fist, almost trying to will her palms to not do whatever that was again. “I’m, like, 90% sure that’s not what you wanted me to do.”

MoonJumper ran its fingers through its dark blue hair, “I mean, it’s a start? Magic is tricky…” At Zebu’s unhopeful expression, it quickly added, “It took me years to perfect my magic in this dimension, though! It’s not just you,” it said, smiling at Zebu.

Zebu made her palms face each other, her right hand over her right one. Wisps of green and purple swirled around the space in between, slowly stirring as Zebu unconsciously charged her magic. When small flicks of what looked like electricity swam through the small pocket of fog, Zebu averted her eyes and clapped her hands together, the whisps dissolving into thin air.

“Here, I’ll show you some tricks my-- um… some people have taught me,” MoonJumper suggested, strings manifesting and tangling themselves around its fingers. 

<[-----]>

Hours later. Still no progress in the control department.

Needless to say, Zebu was concerningly ready to bash her head into a wall.

MoonJumper had long since left to do something ‘that was urgent,’ which left Zebu to struggle on her own.

Well, not really on her own. She had Esh with her, but it wasn’t being helpful, so she was basically on her own. All Esh was doing was messing around with Zebu’s books, which it knew wasn’t allowed. It did so anyway.

Zebu just ignored it and continued to focus on a small, dusty spot on the ground. She tried to do something, anything, to the spot. Nothing happened. “ Ugh , this is so stupid!” Zebu exclaimed, picking up a stick and throwing it at the stupid little dusty spot.

Even though she was frustrated, she didn’t miss the green sparks that flew from the stick as it thunked on the ground. Zebu could only stare.

Crackling fire noises was the only thing that got Zebu’s attention. “ What is it now, Esh?”

Esh tweeted (which, to anyone else, would have seemed cute. Zebu knew from years of dealing with Esh’s crap that it was actually angry) in reply, hopping on the page it had turned to. Zebu begrudgingly folded her legs under her and looked at the page.

It was her copy of From Before Time . It was an ancient book, but Sage Twilight always said “Words and phrases age, but magic will stay the same ‘till the end of time.” It was about enchanted items, ranging from swords and shields that dated back before Earth had even existed with magic pumping through their cores, to caves covered in crystal, acting as a haven for supernatural creatures. The page had a few scuffs and scorch marks, courtesy of her clumsiness, but it was one of the books that Zebu always kept with her, no matter how beat up it was.

The pages Esh had turned to detailed how people confused everyday objects for mythical items.

The only constant between all kinds of magic is that they all connect to the mind. Because of this, people with neurological disorders such as autism or ADHD will have trouble channeling their natural magic. These Mages will use an object-- usually of significance to them-- to channel their magic into. These can come in form of staffs, necklaces, wands, and even weapons. Upon further inspection of these items, they hold no enchantments of any kind, artificial or otherwise.

“And… why do you want me to see this page?” Zebu asked, glancing at her phoenix who had perched on one of her claws.

Esh rubbed its head on the dagger that was tucked into its owners’ belt, ruffling its golden feathers. Zebu finally realized what Esh was trying to say. Alright, fine, it’s kinda on to something .

Zebu got up, pushing off her hood and shaking her braids up, amazed that they’ve stayed in over the past few days. The dagger weighed comfortably in her hand as she pointed the end of the crystal blade to the ground, focusing on the point of the dagger instead of the spot she was so desperately trying to focus on before.

Like always, not much happened at first.

Then, a flurry of turquoise and yellow erupted and bounced off the ground. The chaos didn’t last for long, though, as the shimmers calmed down yet continued to flutter around the opal blade in Zebu’s hand.

This is what complete control looks like , Zebu thought, still in the same position staring at the glowing dagger.

Esh happily chirped and fluttered around Zebu as the latter let out a giggle of disbelief. It wasn’t much, Zebu would admit, but it was a step forwards. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sage Twilight’s words rang out; Progress is still progress, no matter how small it is.

Chapter Text

[ It’s a journal you found in a desk drawer. Some of the pages are ripped, burnt, and scratched, but the words are still intact. You open to a random page. It reads as follows:

Day 23

Studying spirits has definitely taken its toll on me. Even though I would never in a million years know their language, I’ve started understanding some little hums and echoes. The things they talk about are too much for any living being to comprehend. Trying to listen to their conversations fills me with fatigue. I did find out that they learned my name, though. It’s kinda like a low hum that skips around in key like music. Though, it’s really hard to explain; most things with spirits are.

The language barrier is getting better, though. Bit by bit some of them are learning English. Learning simple words like “home” and “life.” It seems like they’ve finally grasped the concept of mortality, which means we don’t need to keep all of them in containment 24/7 when examining them. I think HST-14-2 has taken a liking to me; getting aggressive when Papa tries to come near me while I run the experiments on it. It would be cute if it didn’t prevent me from doing work, but hostile spirits are always annoying to work with.

I think that 14 is just a territorial spirit, like a Being but less apathetic. Maybe it’s like a maternal instinct? I don’t know. Spirits are born from the universe to solve a problem, and it was kind of a dick move of us to take it from its natural habitat and run tests on it. Maybe it was a protector of the children on its planet.

Papa said that if I keep up this rate, I might be able to be officially recognized as on the team, even though they all already treat me like their child. ]

<[-----]>

Dear Journal,

It’s been like… a month? Since I lost my soul? I don’t know, time is hard to tell here. It’s like Subcon Kingdom is dormant.

I’ve kinda been ignoring contracts so I have more time to practice magic, but I need to get back to the mountains, so I’m gonna probably work on some of them.

One of the upsides of only sleeping for like an hour at a time is that I have loads of time on my hands, so this shouldn’t be too difficult. Another upside is that I don’t get nightmares when I sleep for short periods.

Um, I think that’s all? There isn’t much else to say.

-Zebu

<[-----]>

Zebu looked at the scrawled notes she put on her piled-up contracts as she idly un-braided and re-braided her fur. Cleaning the fallen leaves off of the towers shouldn’t be too hard, but the one about Fire Spirits intrigued her. Zebu never really knew a lot about the Lava Cake (just that it was a great, quiet place to study), but weren’t Fire Spirits supposed to stay in Alpine and protect the people traveling up the active volcanoes?

Maybe there were people in Subcon they wanted to protect.

Zebu finally re-braided her fur for the last time and got up, stretching her arms above her head and letting Esh fly under her hood and burry itself under her fur right between her horns. Cleaning the towers seemed simple enough, and if she found Fire Spirits on the way, she could help them find their way home.

Picking up the contract, Zebu felt herself being pulled towards the frozen part of Subcon, albeit barely. She reluctantly complied, jumping down from the treehouse she seemed to always come back to and walking down the dusty path. Zebu watched her footing on the decaying bridge, terrified it would decide that today was the day, and drop the Mage into the pit of glowing eyes below. Luckily, it seemed the moss that glued the crumbling bricks together had taken a liking to her, and she successfully jumped the gap and crossed the bridge safely. She let herself enjoy the crunch of the snow under her hooves, only faintly remembering when she and the other Capra in the sept she was in were approaching the mountains; snow powdering her hood and Esh’s feathers.

Zebu sighed when she looked up at the ice dome she was trying to get around, carefully calculating how she would climb the rolling hills and tall trees. Taking a deep breath, Zebu took a step onto one of the hills.

And promptly tripped into the heap of snow.

Ok, a minor set back. I’ve just gotta think of some other way. Zebu thought, pulling herself out from the snow, unphased by the snow that soaked into her robes and fur. She decided that if she couldn’t walk on the ground, she would simply go over the ground.

She found the closest tree and tested out the lowest branches, carefully choosing which ones to climb. After a while, Zebu got the hang of it, swiftly jumping from tree to tree towards the frozen tower. The confidence she had as she approached her destination steadily rose as she had complete concentration on the branches that slightly bent under her hooves. She barely even noticed that the trees had thinned out.

Until she fell in the snow for the second time.

Zebu pulled her head out of the snow and pushed herself up with her claws, taking a gulp of air and shaking the ice crystals out of her fur. When she finally looked up, she had to do a double-take.

The frozen-over tower was breathtaking . Breathtaking in the most horrific way, because she could see the stone peeking through the icy glass that coated the tower. Another thing to add to her list of things she would rather not get an explanation on.

Zebu got up and marched towards the giant entrance to the tower, kicking the snow with her hooves. She used slight magic to shatter the ice that restrained the door shut, then pried it open. She never expected what greeted her.

Two Fire Spirits were trying to keep warm, seemingly trapped inside of the tower. They were huddled up against a frozen bed that was standing vertical, leaning against the wall. There was actually a lot of random furniture in weird positions, such as chairs frozen to the ceiling, or lamps just… floating in the air.

“Um, hello? Are you lost?” Zebu asked, hesitantly taking a step forward.

One of the spirits spoke up before the other. “Yes! We fell from above, no memory of here…”

Zebu blinked. Right, language barriers. Zebu had talked to Sage Twilight about them, they said that even spirits that used to be mortal forget English in favor of a strange spirit language. Apparently memory loss is a common side effect of becoming a spirit. From what Zebu could understand, the Fire Spirits fell from their meteors into Subcon Forest, and don’t have any memory of how they got trapped in the tower.

“I can help you find home if you want! I know a few things about stars, and they could lead you guys back to Alpine!”

“Death? We need to burn out to die!”

“Burn out? Burn out…” Zebu thought for a minute, then remembered all of the fire in Subcon. By death, they probably meant going home, since death is thought of as ‘going back home’ for mortals to spirits and Beings. “I know where there’s a lot of fire, I can bring you there if you want.”

The second Fire Spirit finally started to speak. “Yes! Fire, burning!”

Welp, that settles that. Zebu beckoned them to follow her as she went up all of the levels, finding more Fire Spirits on the way, each of varying hostility. Most of them complied, following her to the next level as she swept up all of the leaves into a pile (courtesy of a broom that manifested out of thin air) and used small sparks to incinerate them (still terrified she would get herself hurt, but, of course, she was fine).

When Zebu finally got to the top, the contract in her hood jolted out, full of life, then drifted silently down to the pedestal in the middle of the tower, quiet once more. The pedestal had intricate patterns carved into it, with a thin sheet of ice coating its surface, with a crystal ball hovering about 6 inches above the base. “Is it supposed to do that, small one?” one of the Fire Spirits asked, floating up to the middle and looking at the contract.

“Yeah, I guess it just knows what I’m supposed to do and guide me.” Zebu replied, walking up to the contract and reading it over again. She skimmed over the contract and realized what it was trying to get her to do. “ Re-light the fires ” was the second bullet on the contract. She didn’t know what it meant at the time, but it became pretty clear when a torch manifested in front of her, it’s flame mixing sparks into the air. She hesitantly grasped the base of the torch and pulled it out of the air.

Zebu took a small step to the pedestal-- brushed off the frost-- and lowered the fire to the floating crystal ball. It immediately lit blinding blue, swirling icy flames into the sky. For some reason, the fire wasn’t giving off heat-- it was freezing compared to the torch that Zebu pulled away. “Okay, I think I’m gonna try to… hm…” Zebu trailed off, stepping to the edge of the tower and looking down into the snow, laser focusing on a specific spot. She never dared to teleport long distances, knowing the consequences of messing up. But it would save you, like, a whole hour, said a voice in the back of her head. She closed her eyes, unaware of the Fire Spirits that had taken interest in what she was doing and lingered behind her, and the aura that was swirling around her.

Zebu let herself feel the snow under her boots, the soft powdering of snowflakes coming from the misty clouds, and the wind that whipped her fur every-which-way. Her first thought when she felt the spell execute was relief that she hadn’t sliced herself in half.

The second thing was terror, because she was falling through the air.

She didn’t have time to scream, however, because she promptly plopped into the thick snow face first. Twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern , she grimly thought, pulling herself back up for the third time that day and checking her surroundings. She had just dodged falling into the ditch full of eyes by a few feet.

Zebu got up to her hooves and let her breathing even out before continuing. She was still scared of the southern part of Subcon, but at least this time around she has only a little less than a dozen Fire Spirits on her side. In the end, though, she was able to safely make it to the crumbling white tower without any danger.

The wait to see the inside was finally over, and even though she didn’t want to admit it, Zebu was pretty underwhelmed. It was completely wrecked beyond recognition, she wasn’t even sure if it once housed any one, let alone any thing.

As she ventured through the crumbled halls, paying no mind to the creepy crawlies everywhere, she picked up more lost Fire Spirits. They all seemed very protective of her, drifting around her and flaring up at every creature that looked in Zebu’s direction. It must have been an instinctual thing, but she still appreciated it. She was feeling exhausted lately and she didn’t know why, so she probably wouldn’t have the best reaction to danger.

Zebu got to the top of the deteriorating tower and lit the flame in the middle with her torch (which she was getting a little attached to), looking at the green flame that flickered around the orb. The flame in the ice tower was small, probably a bit bigger than her hand, but this flame went up to her hips. It also had actual heat to it, but still not hot enough to be normal fire.

Pretty straight forward. Most things weren’t anymore, so it was pretty comforting to her.

The drop from the top of the tower was shorter, so teleporting was as much of a problem. As always, she almost puked, but at least she landed with her hooves only 2 inches over the ground. She didn’t notice before, but there were probably about 20 fire spirits floating behind her and following her around. They were all laughing, chatting, and generally having a good time with each other. Zebu couldn’t understand their language of hums and chirps, but they sounded happy. Content. 

Zebu swung (since when were they’re hooks here?) across the gap with the hook-shot she had acquired a few days before (courtesy of one of her friends that seemed to be everywhere, Badger), and passed through the lab.

It wasn’t a huge surprise when she realized that it was all messy again, and Zebu had to force herself to keep walking and not clean it again out of spite. She hopped onto the stones jutting out of the nearby pond and climbed up the (unfortunately for past her, fortunately for present her) dried up waterfall.

Her claws shakily gripped the roots jutting out of the cliff as she hauled herself onto flat ground. She was lucky that the fire tower wasn’t a huge trip from where she was.

Suddenly, Esh flew out of Zebu’s hood, flaring up like mad.

Zebu took out her dagger just in case.

She didn’t remember when the freezing blue roots became flaming hot and laced with lava, but she didn’t complain. It was really hard to keep warm in Subcon, even with a pet phoenix.

Then she was shot in the back and sent skidding across the moss-covered forest floor. She turned towards the culprit, hesitantly picking up her dagger off the ground. It was a flower-type thing that was glowing like mad. It had to be at least double her height, Zebu thought as it swallowed a glowing… bug thing.

With no time to think, she teleported behind it, barely registering the nauseating feeling in her head, and slashed its thick stem. Taking the opportunity to, Zebu ran towards the tower, unaware of Esh or the Fire Spirits following her. There were more of those giant plants, but she didn’t notice due to having around 20 spirits and a phoenix to chase them off.

Zebu didn’t stop running until she rushed into the tower and slammed its giant doors, not acknowledging how the Fire Spirits passed through the lava-laced doors. She put her dagger back into its scabbard that she had sewn to her belt, and slid down the doors until she thumped onto the ground. Her heart-rate didn’t even out until Esh perched on her knees and chirped a happy little tune. Zebu chuckled as she scritched the thick feathers on top of Esh’s head, scooping it up into her hands like a liquid and spotting the staircase that was across the room.

Zebu would never complain about the climb to the top of the Twilight Dimension ever again.

The chatter amongst the spirits (Esh included) only grew as Zebu made her way up the tower, careful to not step on anything that was set on fire. She was a little jealous that she couldn’t understand them, but they sounded happy, so at least there was nothing to worry about. She held the lit (and slowly dying) torch in her hand a little looser.

Finally getting to the top, Zebu lit the final fire, which was blazing hot. “I think this should let you guys go home, if it’s not hot enough I’m sure we could figure something out,” She said, shifting her weight from one hoof to another as music from the Fire Spirits died down. Esh flew into the flame in the middle and got all comfy, making the fire impossibly hotter and slightly larger.

One by one, the Fire Spirits started dancing around the flame, singing and laughing in the air. It was almost like music was playing from somewhere, the cheerful vibes were so relaxing. One by one, they burst into sparks as they went back home until only one was singing. The happiness slowly diminished as the last spirit looked over at Zebu, who was feeling a very bittersweet feeling.

“Are you okay, small one?” they asked, inching forward.

“I’m fine it’s just--” For one reason or another, Zebu felt inclined to open up to them, if only a little bit-- “you guys get to go back to the mountains and I have to stay here. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back, actually…”

The spirit fuzzily hummed, putting one of their four hands on Zebu’s shoulder, the other three tucked behind their back. “We’re supposed to guide travelers so they don’t get hurt and return home safely. This day, the roles were switched. We’re going home, so it’s only natural that your sparks find their way home too, right?”

It wasn’t logical . At all. But something about the care in the Fire Spirit’s voice and their warm presence brought tears to Zebu’s eyes. She let the spirit pull her in for a hug, feeling their fluffy tail brush against her fur. For a moment, Zebu was completely content.

Happy, even.

She didn’t even mind when the spirit had to let go, waving goodbye as they fizzled into sparks, returning home.

“Hey, Esh?” Zebu asked, whistling for it to perch on one of her claws, “we’re gonna make it home. I just… feel like it’s true.”

Esh chirped in reply, still soaking up the warmth of the tower’s fire.

Chapter Text

[It’s a blog post from a cognitive psychology student, most of the previous thread was the original poster asking about trauma and memory loss, and others trying to help. The end of the thread reads as follows: “Ok, so I think that Op is talking about Inter-dimensional Memory Loss (IDML). Basically, some places can turn into their own pockets of space-time, not caring about the laws of the third (our) dimension. If someone that isn’t tied (emotionally or physically) to the pocket went in, they would either lose or gain memories. It’s pretty rare to gain memories, but there’s more of a chance if you’ve had similar experiences to someone who’s tied to that pocket. I’d suggest that Op should take a few days to recover with a close friend/family member or talk to a therapist/phycologist, cuz being alone might make your memories stay lost (Which I’m not entirely sure about, so feel free to correct me on this). I’ve also heard that filter-flowers can help, but I’m not a biologist so I don’t know much of their side effects. Best wishes, Op!”]

<[-----]>

Zebu looked at the contract in her hand and then back up at the manor ahead of her. Snatcher can’t be serious about this, can he?

Welp, if he was joking, then paint her the punchline.

Zebu kicked the snow at the front door away and ignored the presence behind her, choosing to, instead, step inside the place that she assumed was the closest thing to hell on Earth. The door snapped shut behind her on its own.

It sounded easy, just get to the attic and find some things that Snatcher had left in here, and leave. That was the idea, anyway.

The contract felt like it was breathing in her hand. That’s reassuring…

Zebu quietly walked towards the first door on the right, managing the floorboards to only creak slightly. She silently thanked her parents for years of training to be as quiet as possible. Zebu turned the door handle. It felt disgusting.

Inside the room was a piano and a big bookshelf. There was a key under the seat of the piano. Zebu crouched down and picked it up. Blood covered the loop of it.

The contract now read something else.

You’re not alone, be quiet.

A woman’s voice rang out through the manor. “Is someone there?”

Zebu ran into the kitchen and pressed her left ear to the door, listening for footsteps. The clinking of heels got louder, then faded.

A door creaked from the other room.

The contract changed again. You need to leave you need to leave you need to leave you need to leave you need to leave you need to leave you need to leave.

Welp, Zebu didn’t need to be told twice.

She bolted out of the room, not bothering to close the door behind her, into the door across the hall. Zebu jammed the key into the hole in the double doors, turning it and rushing up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

In her rush, Zebu forgot to bring the key with her.

She realized this was bad for two reasons. One: if there were any more locks, she would need to find a different key to use, and two: whoever-- or whatever-- was down there could now go upstairs with her.

Zebu went into the first door on the left. A bedroom looked back at her, its eyes blinking to get used to the light after being closed for so long.

The contract changed again. Zebu didn’t need to look at it to know what it said. She didn’t want to look at it.

The key is behind the painting in the nursery.

So, Zebu walked through the other door in the bedroom to the nursery and looked at the southern wall to see a painting. It was of her with the eyes scratched out in red paint (or blood), but that just wasn’t possible. She had never been here before.

Once you eliminate the impossible, all you’re left with is the truth. That’s what your teacher said, right? the contract now read.

Zebu, sick of her stupid exhaustion-induced hallucinations, crumpled the contract, throwing it onto the ground. She then examined the nails that restrained the painting to the wall. One on each corner, all rusted over and old.

The contract was back in her claws, because of-fucking- course it was.

Check Vanessa’s desk drawer. 

Zebu didn’t even touch the door to open it, she didn’t have to. She clutched the contract tighter in her hand.

When she started rummaging through the desk drawer, she heard the lady in the hallway again. She was getting closer.

Glass shards everywhere why is my blood on my hands why would she do this she couldn’t have meant to do this she couldn’t--

All of the confused fuzziness Zebu was experiencing before flew out the window as she slammed the desk closed and hid under the bed next to her.

Sirens blared in her ears as the queen’s heels clicked around the room. Zebu winced as another memory surfaced.

I was just trying to help why did they do this how could they do this it’s just a misunderstanding--

She’s gone. You’re safe now.

Zebu slowly got up, stretching her arms above her head and going back to the desk drawer; entirely at ease again. Well, maybe ‘at ease’ wasn’t a good way to describe it, as her heart was still trying to break through her ribs, but she was a little calmer. Barely.

She found a pair of rusty scissors buried under the various other fuzzy objects. It’ll have to do.

The door to the nursery fell off its hinges before Zebu even reached out to the doorknob.

The painting couldn’t be made out-- faceless and distorted. Zebu simply clamped one of the nails between the two blades of the scissors and pulled back, letting the nail fall to the floor. She did the same with the other three nails and watched the painting fall off the wall, its wooden frame splitting across one of the corners when it hit the ground.

There was a hole in the wall holding the key Zebu was looking for, and every kind of bug under Sol. She took a deep breath in and shoved her arm into the nest, taking the rusted over key and shaking off all of the small insects that clung to her sleeve. She couldn’t understand how anything could survive here.

The contract was bleeding in her hand, the words barely audible. Or readable? It’s not like I can hear words… Get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door get to the door, over and over.

Zebu adjusted her hood and quietly shuffled out into the hallway. There was no one there, but she felt a presence flooding the hall. She put the key into the hole and turned, her mind too panicked to think of much else other than rushing up the stairs as noiselessly as possible. There was a presence there that was familiar. It was long gone, but still comforting.

The last key is in the room with the bookshelf.

Zebu walked to the entrance on the right, examining the newspapers that were along the wall. She wasn’t very good at reading English, but for some reason, she could read these newspapers perfectly well. People disappearing, being murdered, kidnapped, you name it. It was basically a list of some of the worst crimes, all unsolved at the time they were written. Zebu shivered as she continued past them.

The bookshelf was in the room right past the small hallway Zebu passed through. She climbed up the shelves to reach the top and slid the key into her hand. She noticed wilted blue and purple flowers. It was a little hard to tell with the dim lights, but they looked like blue roses and purple dahlias.

They all tried to find you before they froze over. If only they knew… 

Her upper arms ached, which was surprising because the only place that starts to hurt without warning was usually her left shoulder. A faint whisper of the day the contract was talking about sound in the back of her mind. She could feel it so vividly, even though she wasn’t exactly sure what happened.

There were muffled footsteps. The contract felt disgusting in her hand. She couldn’t bear to look at it.

Zebu ran to the other room on the third floor, choosing to ignore the blood streaking the locked-up-one-thousand-times-over door.

She didn’t even need to use the key to go up the stairs, she just phased through the door without a care in the world. Ambulance sirens consumed her sense of sound, and Zebu wondered if this is what people felt right before they die. The contract continued to grow up her arm, like ivy consuming an abandoned building.

Zebu automatically went to the second crate in the attic, unloading all of the books the contract listed into her bag. The titles were all blurry. Makes sense , the contract whispered, he only picked these up twice, probably doesn’t even remember he ever read them.

The door behind the two was demolished with a spike of ice.

Shit, she’s coming. Get out. I/you/we need to leave. Now.

Zebu ran to the window, magic swirling around her. The manor told her it was the wrong magic, but her instincts told her otherwise. I’m really about to do this, huh?  

She held her elbow in front of her face to protect her eyes as she shattered the glass, letting herself fall out of the window and into the snow below.

<[-----]>

Zebu tried to collect her thoughts as she opened her eyes. It was so cold and she was floating. She looked above her at the crystal that was dimly lit. She couldn’t understand how -- everything about the laws of space-time told her that what was happening wasn’t possible -- but she had to be underwater. Zebu swam up and rotated herself so that her hooves were facing the crystal-y ice. She kicked up at the ice, making a few cracks. Her vision was going all spotty, but she kicked up again, closing her eyes when the ice shattered. She hauled herself onto solid ground, coughing up the water that was burning her lungs. Everything was freezing her insides which was dumb because the cold was on the outside . And suddenly I miss the volcanos, she bitterly thought.

She was so disoriented that, naturally, she wasn’t shocked when her shadow opened its eyes and grew out of the ground. “Hey, Kiddo! Just checking in to… jeez, did you fall in the lake?”

Zebu looked up at the manor, then back down at the ice shards “In a sense?” She grabbed her soaked bag, checking to make sure the insides were dry before she handed all of the books to Snatcher. “I mean, at least I got these.” They were gone the moment they touch Snatcher’s hands. Or claws? Talons?

“Yeah, okay, cool, but literally, what happened to you?”

“This is a really stupid question, but when you fall out of a place that’s not near water… can you somehow get into water? Even if there was something over the water.” She thought for a moment, then added, “Hypothetically.”

“...No? Did you almost drown and get brain damage?”

“I could have sworn… nevermind, it doesn’t m- matter…” A sudden wave of nausea making her see shadow-people all around her. Or just dark, fuzzy spots. They said ‘please don’t forget us when you wake up.’

They all crowded around her, making her vision completely dark.

‘Please never forget us.’

<[-----]>

It’s so easy to forget, yet she always remembered.

When did it start? She wasn’t sure.

There was dried blood on the floor and she didn’t know who’s it was.

It was probably hers because her wound was still dripping crimson.

It was only a matter of time until they killed her. It was always a matter of time.

It didn’t really matter why they would kill her ( she was stupid, useless, an embarrassment, an abomination, stupid again, ) but she knew it had to happen sooner or later. She preferred sooner.

‘ Please don’t forget us when you wake up, ’ the shadows begged.

‘ Forget them when you wake up, anything else is an abomination, ’ the light retaliated.

She ran towards the light, every step making her blood boil.

She ran towards the light and punched it in the face. ‘I won’t forget them when I wake up.’ She then turned towards the shadows. ‘Please don’t forget me when I wake up,’ she asked.

<[-----]>

For once, she didn’t jolt up. Probably because she was still dreaming.

She was… somewhere she recognized. There were a lot of stars in view, twinkling at her, and the cold-- but not unfriendly-- stone underneath her back felt like home.

I should probably move.

She stayed in place, soaking in the familiarity of it all. The air didn’t smell like rotting pollen anymore… it was more like the smell of a lake. Or water.

Did water have a smell? When she stood under waterfalls it did smell like something , but it was probably the different things in the water like salt. Or something.

Was salt in all water? Or just ocean water? She had never been to an ocean before, so she didn’t know what they smelled like, but it most likely smelled like water.

And she was just distracting herself from getting up because she really didn’t want to know where she was. It all felt too real to be a dream.

But, she would have to eventually.

She slowly sat up, taking in the sight around her. The emotions she felt when she saw where she was were, in order: Confusion, denial, euphoria, and more confusion.

She was… in the Twilight Bell.

That wasn’t possible unless the last three months were just a dream.

“Jeez, It’s been a second, huh? So, how have you been, doeling?” Said someone behind her.

It was Sage Twilight. Because life just decided to throw everything at her at once today, apparently.

“H- how did I get here?!” Zebu managed to say, too stunned to even get up.

“Oh my gosh-- I’m sorry! I forgot you don’t know about this yet. I’m dream-projecting right now! So uh… This is a dream, but, like, a joint dream. And it is happening but… it’s not really? I don’t know the logistics of it, but I know how to do it.”

Still bad at explaining things. “I-- ...okay… alright. S- so why haven’t you tried to do this sooner?”

“...Technical difficulties, to say the least,” Sage Twilight said, then turned a bit to the left, looking at someone else. “No, I know, but I don’t have time to explain.” There was faint murmuring, but she couldn’t place from where. “Yes, I promise… mhm… okay, yeah.” They turned back to Zebu again, sitting down next to her. “Alright, sorry, I have a friend making sure none of the Dwellers get in trouble while I’m here. Now tell me what you’ve been up to!”

“You already know, but fine, I’ll indulge. Uh, got my soul taken, almost died, met that dream Spirit you told me about, met some fire Spirits, almost died again, almost died again-- I kinda do that a lot. Almost dying and passing out is my brand now, I guess.”

Sage Twilight muttered something that sounded like ‘I swear I’ll find a way to kill Snatcher again,’ but that might have been her imagination. “Sooo… not having a good time?”

“I mean, I’d be lying if I said some of it hasn’t been fun, but the whole ‘your soul was stolen and you also might die before you get it back’ is kinda making the vibe plummet, you know?”

“Pfft-- yeah, I get it. Oh-!” Sage Twilight suddenly had their bag in their hands, rummaging through it. They pulled out a small bouquet of tacca chantrieri. Or bat flowers if you didn’t have the time. But these seemed different. More saturated and almost glowing.

Filter Flowers, as most Capra called them.

“You need these, right?” Sage Twilight asked.

Oh my fucking gosh you’re a lifesaver . “Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

She couldn’t feel the effects of the flowers yet, but she was sure they would start working when she woke up.

Sage Twilight looked like they were saying something, but the words came out all echo-ie and distorted. “Sage Twilight? What’s happening?”

Through the warped ringing in her ears, Zebu could make out the words, “You must be waking up… I don’t think I have anything else to say, so, I’ll see you again sooner than you think!” Then, they mumbled, “Damn, I feel like I’m forgetting something…”

“Okay, then… bye…” Zebu said sadly, feeling her consciousness return.

“Bye! … Wait I wanted to say that-! ”

Then Zebu woke up crying, clutching the bouquet like a lifeline. She was back in the treehouse with all of her stuff-- someone must’ve carried her.

She wished dreams could be reality.

<[-----]>

“--I’m really… proud of you…” TG trailed off as they opened their eyes, sighing as they slouched back onto the stone behind them, tracing their claws through the carvings.

Their vision was obscured by Rifter walking up to them and bap -ing them on the head lightly with his umbrella. “Forgot to say something again?”

TG just groaned really loudly, slumping further down the wall as Rifter sat next to them. “I just… miss her a lot, man! I know she’ll be okay, but I’m just scared for her safety, you know? I really don’t want her to get mentally hurt more than she is…” TG thought for a moment, then said, “And physically.”

“Damn, you have a case of parent, huh?”

TG puffed out their cheeks and crossed their arms. “N- no, I’m just worried about her, like a good teacher.”

“Parent.”

“ Teacher! ”

“No, no, dude, listen to me,” Rifter said, turning towards TG and putting his paws on their shoulders. “You’re her parent.”

TG leaned forward and bumped the top of their head to Rifter’s chest. “Okay… maybe a little,” they mumbled.

Chapter Text

There was pain. Just so much pain. She couldn’t even move. Everything hurt and she was all alone. No one would help her. No one would save her. Even the people who had taken pity on her wouldn’t be there this time. She was alone. She forever will be alone. She was scared, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t matter.

<[-----]>

Zebu awoke with a jolt. Like always. She really needed to stop drifting off for so long.

She yawned and stretched. It was so dark in the forest that she could probably sleep with her eyes open, but she blinked in the face of the subtle light anyways. She really missed home.

A heavy object thunk ing on her lap snapped her from all of her icky thoughts. It was her book where she kept notes of everywhere she had been (‘everywhere’ being various peaks inhabited by many different Septs and Herds). The pages contained sketches of crystals and landscapes, pressed flowers, and many , many, notes she had taken on… well, everything she could find. Right now, it was open to a page with various scribbled notes and sketches of familiar stone arches and crystals jutting out of otherwise perfectly cut stone blocks and pillars. On the opposite page, a single stargazer lily sat, pressed to the thinness of paper. Its glow was faint, but still there. A faint reminder of what it felt like to be safe.

Zebu looked up to see who the culprit was, only to find Esh fluttering in place and chirping in a very scolding-like manner. You really should, she thought. They would want you to . “Jeez, fine. But the next time you try and carry a book with your beak instead of just telling me what you want, I’m ignoring you,” she said, fully aware that the little bird that had perched itself on her shoulder couldn’t talk. It simply rolled its eyes as it snuggled into her fur.

Welp, it wasn’t like she had anything better to do.

She jumped down from the treehouse, tumbling as she recovered and rolled onto her hooves. The book in her hands, unharmed, seemed to vibrate with excitement as Zebu wandered into the depths of the forest. 

The first stop she made was near what seemed to be a frozen table and a cello that played itself. Not the weirdest thing she had seen in the forest, so she just shrugged it off and sat down at one of the floating chairs. Carefully taking her pencil in her claws, she started sketching the twisting vines and tall trees around her. Somehow the winding of the vines and roots along the page perfectly represented how her thoughts spilled out from her pencil and wound all around her brain.

She spotted a flower growing from the cracks of stone beneath her. A moonflower. She had never seen one fully bloomed before, but they only bloom at night, so it wasn’t a stretch that this would be the place she finally got to see one. She plucked it from the dirt, making sure to keep it far away from her mouth (cause, you know, poison ), and wrapped it in a small bit of paper, tucking it into a special pocket in her bag to be pressed later.

Once she messily rubbed some color into the sketch, she carefully closed the book, tucking it into her bag and standing back up. She trotted down to the village (or, more accurately, close to the village, because she hated confrontation and was scared of people talking to her).

She sat down under a tree with a thick trunk, resting against it and pulling out her notebook once more. She plucked one of the many flowers (violets) from the grass, and suddenly got an idea. She gathered a few little flowers and started hooking their stems together, weaving them into a chain. She repeated the motion many times, going back and making sure that it was all sturdy and won’t fall apart any time soon. When she finished, she held the small flower crown up, admiring it for a few seconds before gently waking up the phoenix sleeping on her shoulder. “Hey, Esh, I made you something,” she whispered, carefully placing the flower crown on its head, and it cooed in thanks as Zebu scritched its feathers.

“ Ow- ! Graffiti~i~i~i, you made me fall!” Someone behind her said in a too-loud whisper.

“You made yourself fall, asshole-- No, don’t pull me down-!” Another said, right before there was a thud.

“There you guys are, jeez. Stop stalking the new kid and get up.” (How many people are there?)

“But they’re doing something cool, Stick!” The second one said.

“And it’s fun to feel sneaky!” The first one added.

“Graffiti. Moss. I will kill both of you,” There was a slight pause after that where it sounded like someone else was gonna say something, and then they added, “I’ll find a way.”

Zebu decided that she should probably turn around. There were actually four of them there. The two that were on the ground, Graffiti and Moss, had a blue hoodie and a tattered and muddy poncho respectively. As for the two standing ( Stick and… someone? ), one of them was very tall and tidy for a Subconite, and the other was slightly shorter and had a headband with two branches shoved into it like a bug. “You… know that I can hear you guys, right?” She said after pulling her hood over her horns and tucking her braids in.

The two on the ground’s heads snapped towards her, and if they had faces, Zebu assumed they would be blaring red. “Hi, yeah, these three don’t have inside voices,” the unnamed one said.

“ Beetle ! Don’t be mean…” Moss replied.

Beetle hoisted the Graffiti and Moss up off the ground and whispered something to them that Zebu couldn’t hear.

“Um… so you wanna learn how to make flower crowns?” Zebu asked

“ Yes !” Graffiti or Moss said (or maybe they said it at the same time?) and they both sat down across from her.

“Okay, so, first you loop the stems like this…”

<[-----]>

How long had it been? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t really care. There were probably about a dozen kids ( Subconites ?) that she had taught to make flower crowns by now, and every time they had completed theirs-- even if they didn’t come out as the most beautiful things ever-- they lit up like the sun with happiness.

They all had weird names (well, Zebu’s wasn’t exactly normal either, so she couldn’t judge), mostly objects or descriptors like Knife or Sonar. And they were all aggressive in their own special way, for some reason.

The ‘crowd’ had mostly died down when she saw him. She had felt Snatcher’s aura a few times, but this time she actually saw what looked like wisps of black smoke and feathers just out of the corner of her eyes. Despite this, she still flinched when he had appeared behind her and said “What the hell are you doing?”

“Oh--! Um, well, I was just making flower crowns because… uh some people asked me how to make them and… well, I like making them…” she explained. “I can teach you if you want,” she joked after a pause.

“Pfft-- no, of course I know how to make flower crowns.” Snatcher sat down a ways away from Zebu and Esh and started on his own (proving that he could? She wasn’t sure). His technique was very different from Zebu’s but it did look like it was working, so… 

She just continued making her own. The rhythmic weaving of the stems kept her calm enough to safely let her mind wander.

And she remembered how nice this was.

Just… existing with other people.

She did it all the time with Timmy and Sage Twilight while she studied, but for some reason, even though all of the circumstances that had led to this moment, it felt the same as all of those calm instants. She didn’t even need to talk to him to enjoy the moment (not that she would want to, Snatcher was terrifying to her). 

All of these flowers, and she forgot to log any of them in her journal.

But she couldn’t really bring herself to care, if she was being completely honest.

<[-----]>

Pink protea. That was the kind of flower that welcomed her to her dreams.

She never liked protea. Their middles always reminded her of creepy-crawly bugs.

… 

But they weren’t that bad.

… 

She fell onto her back, taking in the sweet scent of the bushes. It was pretty dark, but the moon shined like a spotlight on the flowers. She didn’t want to move.

… 

…… 

She wanted to ( BREAKING BONES BREAKING ) stay here forever ( P A I N )

…

BOILING BLOOD (she got up) BURNING TREES THEY COULDN’T HELP HER (she stretched).

… 

Maybe it will turn out okay IT WON’T in the end.

…

(When she woke up an hour later, she was left with a pain in her shoulder and mixed emotions. Somewhere in that mixture, there was happiness).

Chapter Text

[ Some of the symptoms of sleep deprivation include but are not limited to the following: forgetfulness, dissociation, sleepwalking, poor balance, impulsive actions, depression, anxiety, and in severe cases, hallucinations.

-Page 76 of Mortal Health by an unknown author.]

<[-----]>

She wasn’t crying. Zebu didn’t cry. She didn’t.

But she was curled up in a ball rocking back and forth in a desperate attempt to calm herself down. Sleeping for more than an hour was an awful idea.

It felt like her very being was separated from her body. Or maybe it was trapped. It was one of the two. Whichever one it was, it felt like someone was driving a knife through her stomach.

Do something. Anything. Make it stop MAKE IT STOP--

She grabbed her dagger from her bag, holding it up to one of her braids.

It took a little bit of sawing to get through the thick fur, but when she was done, she was left with a mess and way less hair than before.

… 

She should re-braid her hair.

She had been meaning to do it for a while-- her braids had gotten all ratty and gross-- but she just. Forgot.

… 

UGH, fine, whatever, she thought, getting up from laying down and searching her bag for a brush. She carefully brushed the stray hairs back into place, and divided her hair into three equal strands, starting to weave a dutch braid around the back of her head into a crown. She didn’t have any ribbons or chains to weave into it (only two ribbons to secure it in place), but it would have to do.

Her longer fur reached just below her shoulders now. It felt like a weight had been taken off her back (figuratively and literally).

<[-----]>

Usually, when she jolted awake, she was, you know, in her treehouse and lying down .

But this time, Zebu was not any of those things.

She was standing on the mossy forest floor in front of a… structure. She had to blink a few times to figure out what it was. A playground. The paint had long chipped-off, and the wood seemed to have been gnawed away by some kind of bug. The structure itself was overgrown, and a little intimidating, as it stood over two times her size.

Zebu faintly recalled a playground that she wasn’t allowed to go to when she was very little. It was the only playground she had ever been near (mountains and things that give momentum and fling users aren’t really a good mix).

… 

She slowly approached the swing set, pushing past the trees (how did she even manage to maneuver through these woods in her sleep?) and seating herself on the one closest to the main structure. It was… a really weird feeling to be suspended by two ropes and a plank.

But… it was really nice. She had never felt calmer, in a weird way. She couldn’t quite reach the flowers (which were white, but she couldn’t tell exactly what kind from a distance) with her hooves, so if she looked up it was like the ground didn’t exist at all. “What do you think, Esh? Have you ever gotten to play on a playground be… for…” Zebu trailed off as she realized her familiar wasn’t perched on her shoulder. It must’ve been in its cage back at her treehouse.

But I could have sworn… nevermind.

<[-----]>

(Walking, walking, walking, she never seemed to stop walking.)

She would have said that contracts were “24/7,” but Subcon Forest didn’t have normal day/night cycles. But she was doing them all the time.

There were always eyes on her. From around a corner, in the trees, through a window, they were everywhere .

Everywhere .

She couldn’t escape their glares as she ran around the forest, trying to find where her next task took place.

Endless staring. They wouldn’t stop judging her why were they judging her so much what did she even do.

( Clop, clop, clop, clop. )

The eyes were always the same, familiar shapes. They always looked down on her, even if they were peering from somewhere below her. The only time she could escape was when she was asleep. But when she slept, she got nightmares, and she would feel like she was being watched even more.

<[-----]>

Writing, writing, and more writing.

The slightly torn pages of her notebook were being filled with ink and flowers, small paragraphs and detailed notes about where she was and who was around her.

These notes were her making sense of everything. Because, when she really thought about it, everything was perfectly logical. This place was where magic law’s limits were stretched, but not broken.

Except for… well, the question she had on her mind since she had gotten here. Zebu looked up towards the Heart Tree of Subcon.

If Snatcher was really a ghost, that would mean a Mind/Soul creature doesn’t need something to be attached to and can actually exist without being a Mind/Soul/Body creature, which would flip magic law on its head which would--

… 

Huh.

… 

Zebu looked down at the page. There were no words looking back at her. Just dots and spirals of black ink.

Chapter Text

She ran up to the storm-like beast, instinctively summoning a shield. She didn’t have time to think about anything as she used herself to protect them, only that she had to do something. A purple bolt shot out directly at her, and her shield cracked and shattered under the pressure.

She let out an ear-piercing scream in pain.

As she hit the wet, dead grass, she saw her own blood pouring from her shoulder. She watched as spider lilies bloomed from her blood and shoulder, barely even thinking of the pain. Crimson coated her fur and robes, and yet life was bursting from the agony.

She gently let her eyes close and ignored the ringing in her ears.

<[-----]>

Zebu’s chest knotted up as she bolted from the ground, breathing heavily. She immediately slammed her hand onto her chest, trying desperately to find a heart-beat. Her brain was so cloudy that she couldn’t feel anything, but she could definitely hear her heart thumping in her ears, chipping away at her ear-drums. She looked up at the sky, and the Stars were so distant. They were but fleeting lights that would fade if she looked away for too long. Just like everything else.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she curled in on herself, as Esh fluttered around its cage trying to get out so it could comfort its companion, as the tremors in her body became more severe, as the ringing in her ears deafened all other sounds.

And she hated all of it.

She hated how much noise there was in the dead of night. She hated how fragile she felt. She hated how it felt like her mind could shatter at any moment. She hated the empty pit in her stomach where her Soul once was.

But, most of all, she hated how she was still stuck on this. It was 3 years ago, couldn’t she just let it go-- ?!

There were footsteps in front of her. Without fully processing who it was, Zebu violently flinched into the corner, (stupidly) shaking like crazy.

It was… Snatcher? He looked more… humanoid, but his aura was definitely the same. He started to walk towards her and… why was he walking towards her WHY WAS HE WALKING TOWARDS HER--

Her mind exploded like hot glass as Snatcher sat down a good few feet away from her. “H-Hi-- I, um, am fine. I-I swear I-- I didn’t m-mess anything up this t-time. I promise.”

<[-----]>

Snatcher calmly tried to maintain eye-contact with the kid across from him. He wasn’t sure how she coped with panic attacks, but, then again, he didn’t know if she even coped with them in the first place. It was familiar, but he couldn’t place why.

She reminds you of yourself when you were alive, Snatcher bitterly realized.

Snatcher waited until Zebu calmed down a little more, and then spoke up. “What happened?”

“I-- um-- accidentally cut myself?”

He looked around at the sparks of magic energy around Zebu. “And that caused this?”

Seemingly just realizing her surroundings, the energy lowered, scurrying back to its summoner and silently pulsating there.

“Okay, y-yeah that was a l-lie. I had a n-nightmare.” Snatcher guessed that he looked at her funny, because, in a panic, she quickly added, “Which is fine! I have nightmares all the time! This one was j-just a little more… uh, graphic. S-sure, that’s the word.”

Snatcher waited a moment to let her process everything around her. He was reminded of long-buried memories of running to his older sister’s room after a particularly disturbing dream, crying into her night gown’s sleeve as he explained all of the scary things that brewed in his head that night. He would usually fall asleep at the end of her bed, both of them lying horizontally over her comforter. “Do you want to talk about it?” He didn’t want to be doing this, it felt too… sappy. But this wasn’t about him right now. This didn’t feel like ‘just a nightmare.’

<[-----]>

…Do I? Zebu thought to herself, shifting to hug her knees to her chest. Her answer caught her even more off guard, “I… I do, actually.”

Snatcher gestured for her to continue, and she took a deep breath.

“Well, it was more of a memory than a dream, but… um, well… it was the first time I had actually tried to use magic. I just… There was this Entity, and I wanted to--” She chose her next words very carefully-- “help. Fight it, I mean. Um, well, I was ten, so I got struck by lighting.”

Snatcher audibly choked, “You were ten ?! And you--?!”

“ Yes, oh my gosh, I know, I was dumb and stupid three years ago. What else is new?”

“Wait, you’re--?! You’re thirteen ?! Where the hell are your parents; didn’t you come here alone ?!”

“U-uhm…” Zebu shifted and folded her claws together in her lap. “Actually, the translation for ‘parent’ in Lovquper is closer to ‘guardian,’ so, uh, yeah…” she said, trailing off, which was code for “I really don’t want to talk about my guardians, can we please move on?”

“Cool, so is that it?”

“I mean, yeah,” She chuckled to herself. “Pretty pathetic that I’ve had three years to move on and I’m still hung up on it, huh?” She joked.

Snatcher looked at her funny. “Kid, take it from a guy who’s dead, you would need over 100 years to ‘get over’ something like that,” He paused for a second, then added, “so don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“...I forgot what it was like,” Zebu whispered, looking up at the Stars.

“Huh?”

“Like… I don’t know, being given good advice or something. After my guardians… um… it was just me against the world, you know? I mean, I would ask the Sages for help sometimes, and I know Sage Twilight will always be happy to help, but I just… I don’t know, I guess I’ve never talked to anyone about this kind of stuff. I wish I had sooner, to be honest.” The magic around her hooves was almost completely gone.

<[-----]>

Zebu stretched as she pushed her hood off and shook out her longer fur. “Welp, that was exhausting, ‘m gonna go back to sleep.” She slumped back on the cold wood of the treehouse. Even though he felt like he should , he didn’t feel any regret in helping the Kid. 

Zebu then jabbed Snatcher’s leg with one of her hooves. “You should sleep too! I don’t think I’ve seen you sleep even once since I got here.”

Snatcher let out a squawk of protest as he quickly brought his leg to his chest. “Kid, I already told you, I’m a ghost . I don’t need to do ‘mortal things’.”

Zebu opened one of her eyes. “Eh, you look pretty alive to me. C’mon, just a little nap! Just for fun-zies!”

Never mind. He should have never done any of this. Zebu is the most annoying creature ever. “Ugh, fine, but I’m not staying in this form,” Snatcher grumbled as he shifted to a more comfortable and monstrous form, curling up out of kicking range.

“Pfft-- goodnight.”

“Whatever. ‘Night.”

Chapter Text

She launched herself away from the roaring multi-colored flames, struggling to regain her balance and keep running.

Why are we fighting again?

Something about Zebu not being useful anymore? About her contracts? She did manage to get through all of them--

A blue potion shattered on her skull before she could react, and her head became cloudy.

Without thinking of her own morals, she ran and teleported behind Snatcher. Continuing the movement, a bolt of lightning came out of her dagger and just managed to hit him. Zebu didn’t have any time to celebrate when Snatcher immediately turned around and fire shot out at her, burning her right leg as she jumped out of the lab and into the forest.

Snatcher followed.

Zebu, without considering the dangers of doing so, grabbed the nearest tree branch and climbed as fast as she could, weaving her way through the trees. She vaguely registered that taunts were being thrown, but she couldn’t tell from who or what was being said.

The ground shook and she lost her balance, falling down from the trees and hearing an ear-splitting crack, the only moment of clarity in the sounds that she heard.

Zebu scurried back to her hooves and picked up one of those purple cherries. As she ran past one of the Dwellers, it ignited and she threw the bomb behind her, having a small mental victory when she heard a squawk in pain.

Though she wasn’t registering much when she climbed back into the trees via hook-shot, she managed to hear a roar and looked back just in time to see a multi-color inferno engulf her, blowing her off the branches and onto the ground.

Right before she hit the ground, she opened her eyes just a crack. The Stars were so far away.

Then everything went to nothingness.

<[-----]>

“Okay, Kid, this isn’t funny anymore, get up.”

He hadn’t…?

… 

No, he could still sense the heat of her heart-beat, he didn’t kill her.

… 

Then where was she? Where was her consciousness? It sure as hell wasn’t here .

Snatcher dug around in his past, limited knowledge about the Mind/Soul/Body/Heart theory. Vaguely recalling a lesson he took when he was very young, it only made sense that… 

Her soul? Zebu’s Mind was in her Soul right now?

Strange, wasn’t there a magic law that directly prevented that from happening in the third dimension?

He didn’t question it. Snatcher reached into his voidspace… 

<[-----]>

Everything was fuzzy. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was.

There was no ground, it was almost like she was suspended in water. Maybe she was, but it wasn’t like she needed to breathe.

Her skin didn’t feel like it was holding her skeleton hostage anymore. It was like she didn’t have skin at all. It was like she wasn’t physical at all.

A claw-- or maybe a talon-- grabbed hold of her leg. She was aware that there was wind passing through her body. Her entire being-- her entire Spirit-- shook as it transferred planes of existence.

<[-----]>

Zebu heard a sigh of relief when she opened her eyes, blinking the sleep out of them. “S… Snatcher? Why am I…? Ugh, my head hurts…” She shifted to be sitting a little more up-right against the old, knotted wood of the tree behind her.

“You’re outside the Heart Tree and you have your Soul back, that’s all you need to know.” He looked as if he was contemplating something, then continued. “Alright, I know I said I ‘don’t have any use for you anymore,’ or whatever, but I do have one more contract, so here. Just sign it already,” Snatcher said, handing her a contract.

Zebu rolled her eyes, but then read the actual text.

It was a little blurry, but she could make out a few of the words scrawled in ink. At the top in white lettering, it said “Take care of yourself.” The first objective said, “Dear gods, go take care of yourself.” The rest she could make out was the messily stamped part, which said “I will be keeping the following hostage: Nothing. Go. (but keep anything you find on the way!)”

“So? Are you gonna sign it or what?!”

Zebu stared at the contract, shifting her fingers across the obviously enchanted paper. “...You’re really letting me leave? Like, actually?”

“It’s not like I wanted to keep you here, it’s just how Souls work, Kid.”

Zebu sniffed and blinked back tears. “Eheh, s- sorry, I’m just… wow, okay,” She chuckled. “Not gonna lie, I kinda thought this would be the rest of my life for a moment there.” She scribbled her name and the Twilight insignia on the line with the fluffy quill. After she finished, she spoke up again. “Aren’t you also supposed to sign the contract? Y’know, so it’s legally binding?”

“Did you look through my old law textbooks?”

“I only skimmed, promise!”

“Ugh, whatever, fine,” Snatcher said as he took the quill and scratched a name in a some-what similar language to Lovquper, a name that started vaguely with an ‘L.’

And the contract rolled itself up and burst into glittering flames, sparks fading as quickly as they appeared.

She could already feel the itching in the back of her hood.

“Oh! I should probably--” She held her hand out high in the air above her, waiting a second. Then, in a flurry of golden bursts and sparkles, Esh safely landed on her finger. “Did you hear that, Esh?” Zebu asked, lowering it down to eye level, “We’re going home!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Snatcher dismissed, snapping his talons together and summoning Zebu’s bag out of thin air. “Now hurry up and go, Kid! Before I change my mind!”

<[-----]>

Zebu didn’t expect it. She didn’t expect to feel hesitation upon looking at those gold flowers that marked where the Earth ended and Subcon started, but she did. She had tried to push her way through it countless times without her Soul, but it was like a little bee trying to fly through a brick wall. Now, even as refreshed as she felt with her soul, she was just a bit nervous.

“Are you kidding me? You’ve been standing here for, what, ten minutes? What’s holding you back, Kid?” Snatcher said as he manifested next to her.

“...I’m scared, I think.”

“Of what, exactly?”

“I just… what if I try and leave, and I can’t? What if it doesn’t work and I’m still stuck here? What if I can never go home? What if--”

“Zebu.”

“Yeah?” She still hadn’t looked Snatcher in the eye.

Suddenly, she felt a push on her shoulders as she stumbled into the thinner, brighter woods. As she turned around, she saw Snatcher, in a humanoid form, saying something she couldn’t quite make out over her brain reeling from excitement. She didn’t consciously say it, but while she had gotten her running start, she called over her shoulder, “I’m coming back for a re-match one day, you can count on it!”

When she looked up at the sunrise, it just looked a little brighter than she remembered.

Chapter Text

Zebu looked down into the shallow, clear springs of Ember Sumit as she traced patterns (anything from UFOs to animals) into the soft soil below. She had gotten back a few hours ago, and she hadn’t even unpacked her things, or even went back to her house. Everything was pretty much just how she left it, she knew that. So why did it feel… too fake, too polished? She didn’t even care that her normal robes were going to have to be thoroughly washed later; they were already so dirty that it would have taken days of scrubbing, anyway.

Did she even want to see Sage Twilight again? Yes, of course she did. So why was she stalling? Why did all of this feel like she was floating through everything?

“Oi, Zebu! ‘Aven’t seen you in a while, how’ve you been?” Someone out of her view asked, sitting down on the rocks at the edge of the spring. It was Faia, a friend she made ever since she arrived in the mountains. Even when Zebu got wrapped up in school, they still made an effort to check in on her to make sure she was taking good care of herself.

“Hi, Faia. I’ve been better, I guess. Everything's just a mess, you know?”

“Pfft-- yeah, I know. You wanna talk about it?”

“It’s just… I don’t know, I’ve been away from the mountains for a while, and I’m not totally sure if I really wanna see anyone even though I missed everyone a lot. I was really homesick, but now everything just feels off, you know? And I’m-- I’m rambling-- uh, sorry.”

“Pfft-- It’s alright, kid, you know I’d let you talk your heart out if I had the hours in the day. If you want advice, though, I’d say you’re tired and used to not talking that you forgot what it was like to talk ta people you like. An’ even if it’s not the case, you don’t need to know and still move past it.”

“I don’t… huh?”

“Well, you’re havin’ a rough time, yeah? You’re allowed to not know how you specifically feel, it’s not a requirement for gettin’ better, you know.”

“What the heck--” Zebu mumbled, pulling her knees to her chest and bonking her forehead to her skirts-- “you’re not supposed to be smart! It makes me feel silly!”

“Heh, sorry, kid, you’ll be smart when you’re older!”

“Or old like you ,” Zebu jokingly grumbled back as she stood up from the springs and slung her bag over her shoulder. Whistling for Esh to join her, she said, “Anyways, I should go unpack, shouldn’t I? I feel like that’s the first thing I should have done.”

Faia, standing up with her, replied, “Pfft-- yeah. Also, you’re a good kid, okay? I’m sure whatever you decide on doing will amazing.”

Zebu whipped her totally not tearing up eyes with her sleeve as she looped her scarf over the bannered ropes that lead to Goat Village. “Th- Thank you! And I’ll see you tomorrow!” She called as she pushed off the edge of the mountain.

<[-----]>

The hanging glass lamps still hung over her windowsill that was cluttered with books reflected the golden-hour sun almost directly into Zebu’s eyes. She walked over to her bed and set her bags down next to it, deciding to not put her stuff away just yet. She sat down at the end of her bed.

Something poked her head, and she turned around. Realizing that Esh had taken its place back in its little terrarium, Zebu checked her hood for any dirt or gravel, and--

…huh.

It was her final contract. It felt different now, holding a contract with a Soul. The words “Take care of yourself” highlighted in blue held a contrasting vibe as to when she had a gaping pit in her stomach. They didn’t look like loops and lines, but words that held meaning .

What would be taking care of herself right now? What does she need to do?

…

She pulled up her hood and scarf once more. “Esh, we’re heading out again!” She called into the other room. Zebu didn’t even have to check and see what the slight shift in weight on her hood was, she already knew that it was her familiar.

Zebu, for the first time in a while, walked out to the Twilight Path.

<[-----]>

The cracks in the ancient stones of the Twilight Bell’s peak hadn’t scared Zebu in a while, she knew they would hold her just like they did a million times before as she jumped up and swung on the giant bell.

As the world warped around her, Zebu felt herself let out a breath that she hadn’t been aware she had been holding for the past six months. A splitting headache that simmered out almost immediately wasn’t supposed to be a calming thing, but it was.

She could feel the cold stone under her hooves, foreign yet familiar. Rushing water filled her ears as she trotted her way up to the highest tower. It was weird, everything was the same as it was, but she couldn’t help the anxiety that built as she approached two silhouettes that sat near a tree, both quietly having a conversation. “Um, Sage Twilight? S- sorry to interrupt but uh, I’m back!”

The two people (one of them was definitely Sage Twilight, the other she couldn’t make out through the fog in her brain) looked towards her in shock as Zebu bowed in proper greeting to a mage higher rank than her.

She heard quick hoofsteps for a moment, then arms pull her into a hug. “Welcome home, Zebu. I’m so proud of you,” Sage Twilight whispered. She tried to respond, but the instant she opened her mouth nothing but sobs came out as she shakily returned the hug.

They stayed like that for a few seconds until a familiar voice exclaimed, “Holy shit, Zebu, you’re alive ?!” making both her and Sage Twilight flinch as Zebu was gently released.

Zebu blinked hard when she saw who it was, hoping that it wasn’t a dream. “I’m the one who should be asking you that!” She replied to Timmy, running up to him and crushing him in a some-what happy and some-what angry hug. “I thought you died , dude,” she said through tears.

“That was, like, a year ago, things change,” he said as they pulled apart. “Where have you even been for the past months?!”

“Um… that’s a long story. Ever heard of a place called Subcon Forest?”

“Wait, were you trapped there, too?!”

“You-- ...and we never even bumped into each other?”

“Well, I was stuck in that freaky house thing so…”

“Wait, hold on, back up, how are you even alive ?! I heard that T-12 blew up and took everyone with it!”

“So that’s what they’re telling everyone, huh? Those sons of-- it’s okay, it doesn’t matter. Um, so yeah, that’s a lie because at least a few others and I are alive so…”

“Gosh, we have so much to catch up on, where to start, um, so, first of all, you missed a Sage Crowning!”

“Really?! Who?” Timmy gasped as Esh flew from Zebu’s head to nest in Timmy’s hair.

“Forest! She finally did it!”

“Holy-- awe, and I missed it? This shit sucks ,” Timmy fake-whined as he crossed his arms.

Zebu happily sighed as she slouched back onto the stone behind her. It was a miracle that she made it out alive, but this was real . She was real and it never felt so amazing to be.

<[-----]>

A field of lilacs. The wind blew through them as she spotted yellow rose bushes that dotted the field. “So, you’re happy? And you’re sure of it?”

“No. I’m far from sure of it. But I know I will be, and I’m fine with waiting.”

… 

“You idolize them, you know that, right? Your guardians, I mean.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I can’t help but think they were right about me. It’s all I’ve ever known, all I’ve ever been sure of. I can’t just throw it all away.”

“Do you think you’ll ever know you do when you wake up?”

She rubbed the lightning scar on her left shoulder, a mixture of anger and sadness washed over her. “No, I think I’ll need help from Sage Twilight and Timmy. That’s fine, though. I’ll figure it out when I’m ready.”

“You’re allowed to grieve. We’re allowed to grieve.”

“For what?”

“For what we didn’t have, for the hurt we had to bear. It’s not selfish of you, of us.”

“Maybe I’ll remember that someday. But for now, I think we should take things one thing at a time.”

“Are you still mad that they didn’t even say goodbye?”

“Yeah. I think I always will be. But they were truly awful people, I’m upset with myself that I miss them.”

“Again, you’re allowed to grieve.”

She fell backwards in the flowers, taking in their sweet scent. “Heh. Thanks.”

Chapter Text

TG looked at the two kids chatting under the blinding white trees. They didn’t blame them for talking so fast, they had a lot to catch up on, after all.

As for TG themself, they were seated on a glowing star in the sky, weaving together fine strings of wool for fabric. It wasn’t as cool as it sounded, but it was still pretty cool, because it was going to be a gift for Zebu, and gifts are always cool.

But, somehow, the sparkling threads captured everything TG was feeling. Mostly overwhelming affection, if they were being honest.

It wasn’t too hard. Somehow the winding stitches captured perfectly how Timmy and Zebu’s long conversation wound its way into Time, filling up every nook and cranny the stars could touch. TG smiled at them, finally able to see their two students (kids) smiling together.

But this wasn’t about them. This was about the robes and they were getting distracted again.

TG took the needle and knotted the stitch connecting the arm to the torso, using their canines to rip the thread (and almost stabbing themself in the process). They then changed out the thread color to a glowing white.

The first patterns they started with were on the sleeves. Winding swirls that coiled themselves around the diameter of the sleeves, trapping any magic from vengeful souls and spirits, preventing them from taking control of Zebu.

Next were on the belt. Whisps that beckoned lost souls home, a light at the end of the tunnel. They weaved their way counter-clockwise around the deep brown fabric. A sparkling sign that (metaphorically) spelled out ‘safety.’

Lastly, TG stitched the mountain patterns in. First at the hood to guide her eyes towards the stars that point at the mountains, and second the ankles of the boots to guide her hooves along winding paths that would take her home.

…

TG thought for a few moments, then began to stitch the Twilight insignia on part of the hood piece. It just felt right.

A few more seams and they were pretty much done, which was good, because Zebu had snuck up on them. “Hi! What’re you making?”

TG, panicking, pushed the robes into their bag’s void-space, belatedly realizing that it didn’t matter if Zebu saw her gift because they were already done. “You could have just approached me from the front like a normal person, I don’t bite,” they said, digging through their bag to try and fish out Zebu’s gift.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Not my problem,” TG replied, finally finding the robes and pulling them out. “Anyhow, I saw how ripped up your robes are, so I made you some new ones,” they finished, teleporting down off of the star and handing her the folded clothing. Zebu carefully took them and let the robes unfurl, holding them up in front of her. TG was nervous not being able to see her face and hearing the long silence that seemed to stretch on forever.

After either a minute or an hour, there was finally a noise from one of them. It started as a small sniffle from Zebu that then broke out into full sobs. “Y-you made this? For me?”

“Yes, of course, you deserve it, after all,” TG said, kneeling to their student’s level.

And then was almost knocked over.

“Th-Thank you!” Zebu cried into TG’s shoulder.

TG, after recovering from the split second of shock, calmly returned the hug. They stayed like that for who knows how long until Zebu jolted back. “Wait, I should go put this on!” She said, jumping out of TG’s arms and running to the giant bell. “Be back in a bit!” She called to both TG and Timmy.

…

After about 15 minutes, the kid practically flung herself up to the top of the tower, completely out of breath. “H-hi I’m back!”

“Yo, dude, you look awesome!” Timmy exclaimed, seemingly coming out of nowhere.

“Thanks! Now TG has to make you robes so you can sit under waterfalls with me,” Zebu replied, pushing her hood off her horns.

“Nope. I’m not subjecting myself to the wet-clothes world. It’s not happening.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it!”

TG fondly sighed at the two kids now chasing each other around and laughing till their sides hurt. If you didn’t think that Timmy and Zebu’s laughter was the best sound in the world? Then it was fine. Everyone makes mistakes.

Chapter Text

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Zebu looked at the alarm clock in her hands, ticking away carelessly. In one minute, it would be exactly a year since she set foot outside of Subcon forest. It was weird. She felt like she should be doing something.

But instead she sat on the floor of her bathroom, holding an alarm clock. Watching it tick down. It was only 60 ticks.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Zebu brushed her hair out of her face, something that she found herself doing more often, and felt the faint scar that just barely missed her right eye. She then reached up and felt the ribbon that was tied into a bow on one of her horns.

She was hurt before, yet she’s still standing.

She’s been through multiple lifetimes of situations, something a child shouldn’t have to bear, and, yes, she’s still standing.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

She grasped the wand at her side. It, along with the markings on her face, started to glow as her magic activated. She looked at the green glowing freckles on her face through the mirror. She never would have had those if she hadn’t gone to Subcon, and she knew that.

She felt the small chip in her collarbone and the thick, wavy scars that bloomed out from it. She used to hate that it discolored her fur, but now she was pretty neutral about it.

Esh perked its head up from her shoulder, letting out a little sleepy chirp. It was strange, she never knew why she had helped the little guy, but she did. And it probably was the best decision she had ever made in her life.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

Was this all her guardian’s faults? Would she never have been so… so weird all the time if it weren’t for them? Zebu once again brushed her hair out of her face and felt the scar on her right eye. The answer was clear. Y--

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring!

Ah.

4:18 am. It had been exactly a year.

Zebu stood up with a new, calm smile on her face. She already had everything packed, all that was left was to go through with it.

For the second time, she walked out the front door of her house and started out for Subcon Forest.

<[-----]>

“ AHHAHAHAHAHAH !” Snatcher started, popping up from the ground. “ FOOO-- ”

“Wow, you’re still doing that? How cliche!” The kid in front of him said. Their familiar-- a golden bird-- burnt the vines that were restraining them, and fell to the ground. Their voice wasn’t familiar, yet it wasn’t foreign.

Snatcher’s excuse for not having a good reaction time to the kid zapping him with magic is that he was distracted , he was trying to figure out who the kid in green was in front of him was. But then they ran past him into the woods as if they had lived there all their life, as if they knew where they were going.

And Snatcher, of course, gave chase.

The kid dodged and weaved away from blasts of multi-colored flames, and even laughed as they narrowly avoided having a glass potion shattered on their skull. They leaped over the giant cliff to Snatcher’s lab, tumbling to absorb the shock from the landing before climbing back onto their feet. 

As they regained their footing, a potion shattered on their back. They flinched, but brushed it off as they jumped into the stone arena. Snatcher, of course, flew after them, taking his place in the middle.

They seemed like they knew what he was going to do, they always felt barely a step ahead of him. It infuriated him, but they also seemed to know that, giggling at squawks and angry grumbles. He was vaguely aware of banter, but he wasn’t exactly sure what he or they were saying.

The fight seemed to last forever, both of them at mostly a stand-still dodging each other’s attacks until, by some divine intervention, the kid somehow got out of his sight for just a second and used their dagger to knock Snatcher out of his monstrous form.

Snatcher instinctually formed a void around the two.

<[-----]>

Zebu smirked as she held a hand out to Snatcher that he reluctantly took, pulling him up into a hug. “Told ya I’d come back and beat you,” she said.

“Z- Zebu?!” Snatcher exclaimed, reluctantly hugging her back as the weird darkness melted away.

“The one and only! Guess I had my hood and scarf that whole time, huh?”

“Jeez, I barely even recognized you, Kid,” Snatcher replied as she stopped squeezing the life out of his torso, “You look way better than before.”

“Why, thank you!” She said, with a fake-pretentious bow. “I think my new robes suit me as well.”

“No, kid,” Snatcher made the effort to properly look her in the eyes. “Happier. You look happier.”

Zebu felt her knees buckle and her eyes start to burn with cold tears. “Goddammit… you’re not supposed to make me cry! That’s rude!”

“Pfft-- yeah, I tend to have that effect on kids,” Snatcher replied with a fake-scary voice.

Zebu sighed as she took in the starry sky above her, the moon never changing. It had dawned on her before, but she reminded herself; Snatcher was like the stupid, mean, but irreplaceable older sibling she never had. And it was really nice to have a family again. But, instead of shoving all of that on him, she opted to say, “I’m not a kid, jerkwad.”